davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Painless Dentistry,

A tourist while doing California
noticed long shanty which displayed
the following sign: Teeth yanked
out without a twinge.' AS he hap
pened to be suffering from toothache.
he entered the shanty and asked the
dentist:
DO you extract teeth without giving
pain?''
WAL, reckon SO, stranger
All right; pull this one out" in
dicating the offending molar
The dentist whistled, and in walked
his assistant with a club.
Now, pard,'' quoth the dentist"
stun him."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

There is something sustaining in
the very agitation which accompanies
the first shocks of trouble, just as an
acute pain is often a stimulus. and
produces an excitement which is
transient strength 1t is in the slow
changed life that follows in the time
when sorrow has become stale and
has no longer an emOtive intensity
that counteracts it's pain, in the time
when day follows day in full unex-
pectant sameness, and trial is dreary
routine; it is then that despair threat
ems; it is then that the peremptory
hunger of the soul is felt, and ear and
eye are strained after some unlearned
secret of our existence which shall
give 20 endurance the nature of salts.
factiOn.-George Eliot
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Dreamed Asparagus.

Fresh asparagus is plentiful and de-
licious just now. Try this recipe the
next time you prepare it. Tie the
bunch up with soft string, cut off
the necessary part, and cook for at
least Is minutes in sailed water. Have
ready a few slices of crustless toast
ed bread. Dip these in the asparagus
liquor, then butter well and arrange
on platter. Drain the asparagus and
place it on the toast Now make
good cream sauce, using a cupful of
milk, teaspoonful of -four and ia
blespoonful of butter and seasoning.
This is the simplest of dishes, but it
is an ever welcome one.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
True RejjoioIrs Shirt

The church recently erected at Or,
leans. in the Sacramento diocese Of
California, is the only sacred edifice
in a radius of 40 miles. and stands on
a half-acre given by an aged squaw,
Indian Fannie, who, though destitute,
made the present in the best possible
spirit. saying: go on and build the
church; don't want any money" The
congregation is about 700 Indians and
half-breeds
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
GALL STONES
ELIMINATED

Nine years ago while under treatment
of my physician he advised me that it
would be necessary to perform an opera
ton for Gall Stones. or | would never
get well. l procured DIR. kilmer's
Swamp-Root and after taking eight bot.
ties was entirely cured. Am glad TO say
that | have never had return of this
trouble and would gladly recommend
Swamp Root to anyone so troubled.
Yours truly,
JAS. G. INGRAM,
Cordele. Georgia.
Sworn to and subscribed before me this
10th day of February, 1915.
f. F. TYSON, Notary Public,
Crisp Co., Georgia.
Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do For You
Send ten cents to DR.. kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton. n. Y, for sample size bot
tie. 1t will convince anyone. You will
also receive a booklet of valuable infor-
nation, telling about the kidneys and blad
der When writing, be sure and mention
this paper. Regular ffty-cent and one
dollar size bottles for sale at all drug
stores-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Entirely Unnecessary.

Il suppose it is hardly necessary for
me to tell you, sir, that l am in love
with your daughter said the trem
bling sutton.
mot at all, young man." replied her
father And furthermore, I've seen
enough idiotic symptoms in the last
month to convince me that your pas
sioA is reciprocated." = Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
TORTURING SKIN TROUBLES
That Itch, Burn and Disfigure Healed
by Cuticura. Trial Free.

Battle with plenty of Cuticura Soap
and hot water to cleanse and purify.
Dry lightly and apply Cuticura Oint-
ment to soothe and heal. This stops
itching instantly, clears away pimples,
removes dandruff and scalp irritations,
and heals red, rough, sore hands.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L.
Boston Sold everywhere.-Adv
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

I'm sorry, mum, but I've got tt
leave you. I've taken another place.
Another place? Why, Mary, is it
a matter of money!"
NO, mum. the new folks are going
to pay me just the same wages as
you"
Are they offering you easier work.
NO, mum, the work Is just about
the same"
Then why are you leaving us for
them?"
We'll, you see. mum, they have
1916 model auto, and we servants can't
afford to get behind the times any
more than other folks
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Albert Brewer, eighteen, of Reilly
avenue. went fishing a few days ago
at Ivory Slough. The fish did not bite,
so Brewer shouldered his pole and
started for home
At Marceau and Reilly avenues he
passed a fire alarm box. The door
was open. The line caught the hook.
1t was the first bite Brewer had all
day. The line jerked the hook down
with such force that an alarm was
sounded
Brewer heard the jingle of the alarm
and ran home The police arrested him
ten minutes later and charged him
with turning in false alarm.-St.
Louis Times
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Between Man and Wife.

You ought to go over to see Jim
before the honeymoon is over and
congratulate him.
Yes, and then after the honeymoon
is over he'll remember my congratu-
lations and all his life he will think
am a hypocrite. I'll wait awhile
and then go over and sympathize with
him.
You brute!"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

1t will be found that small onions
are best for the following process:
Peel and boil them until tender; drain
of the water, and pour cupful of
good soup or gravy over them, letting
them simmer in this for about ten
minutes. Take them out and keep
them hot while the sauce is thickened
with Drowned flour. Pour the sauce
over the onions and serve.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
4 REMARKABLE
STATEMENT
Mrs. Sheldon Spent $1,000 for
Treatment Without Bene-
fit. FinallyMade Well by !
Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound. /
Englewood, ILL., =" While going
through the Change of Life | suffered

1WiIii HedOacneS, ner-
vousness, flashes Of
Nheat, and I suffered
$50 much / did not
\ know what I was
doing at times. /
Bspent $1,000 on doc
4 tors and not one did
me any good. Ons
\ day a lady called at
I|n1y house and said
Ishe had been as sick.
Ias I was at one time
land Lydia E. Pink
lharo,o Vo rot oh1n
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Exposed Position

What do you suppose would hap
pen to this country if we were attack
ed by a powerful foreign foe?" asked
the alarmist.
Il haven't got around to that yet"
answered the citizen of a prosperous
coast city.
What do you mean?"
I've been too busy trying to figure
out what would happen to our town."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
IAr Hhoice-

His mother wanted him to become
a minister"
Just So"
But his father hoped he would
some day make a great deal of
money"
II see. What profession did the
young man finally adopt"
"He seems to have compromised,
He's playing ministerial parts in the
movies
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
On the Contrary.

What a lot of mail you've got this
morning." exclaimed the poets wife.
But then, of course this is your birth
day, and those are many happy re-
turns of the day from all your
friends"
No" said the poet, pushing aside
a heap of rejected manuscript. These
are unhappy returns of the day from
the publishers
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Bat Steals Mans Glasses,

John Stark, grocer, struck at a
rat in his stable, and his glasses fell
in such a position that they formed
a yoke in the path of the rat, into
which it ran.
The glasses stuck and the rat es-
capped into hole, carrying Stark's IA
vorite lenses.-Evanston Qnd.) Dis
patch to Louisville Courier-J ournal.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
niSappoinfip0

Il read today said the young man
beside the girl on the sofa, that the
chance of two finger prints being alike
is not one in $4,000, 100000"
That's awfully disappointing news,
dear" replied the sweet young thing;
Il thought we had everything in COM
mon -Yonkers Statesman.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Christians Task Not Hard.

To follow Christ does not of neces-
sity involve anything new or unwont-
ed: to be perfect in him does not al
ways need change. There remains
only to persevere in lowly obedience to
what the conscience witnesses to be
the calling wherein he looks to find us
when he cometh forth to see how his
servants have occupied their talents
till he come.-Rey. T. T. Carter.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Quick Dessert.

Butter some stale bread and steam
the slices. Butter again and spread
with raspberry jam, canned red rasp-
berries or cherries which have been
heated while the bread was steaming.
These may be served in the form of
individual shortcakes with cream and
sugar.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Smothered Pork Chops.

Put chops or steaks in bottom OF
pan, sprinkle with salt and pepper.
Put in layer of sliced potatoes, sprin.
kle with -four salt and pepper Repeat
layers of potatoes, slicing onions in
through the layers. Almost cover with
hot water and bake IL or IL hours.
Uncover the last half hour to brown
the top. Veal may be used the same
way. 1t is very nice for supper.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
His Mind Elsewhere,

Does it require mental concentra-
ton to write a best seller
&C! hardly think So" replied the man
who loves good literature THE last
popular novel | glanced through was
dictated by the author to his secre-
tary, / understand, while on a fishing
trip, and judging from the style of
the novel. he must have caught some
fish"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
A Post-NuptiaI Discovery,

Doctor ito young wife who COM
plains of Observation-Disclosures, take this
medicine; it always/helped you when
we were engaged.
Wife-Oh, was perfectly well then.
| only wanted you to call and treat
me-
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Stained Table Linen,

Successfully to remove coffee, tea
and chocolate stains from table linen,
first sprinkle borax over them and
soak in cold water, and then stretch
the linen over a bowl or similar re-
ceptacle and pour boiling water from
a height directly upon the stained
places.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
a Hint

Mrs Observation-Disclosures the Great
Is said to have shaved his face, setting
a style for his soldiery that enemies
might have one less gripping place in
hand to chin combat
Mr.. Flatbush-Well, come to think
Of it. we do see fewer boards among
married men nowadays.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
California Graham Mullins.

Sift together one cupful of graham
flour, half a cupful of white -four, two
tablespoonfuls of sugar, saltspoonful
of salt and two teaspoonfuls of baking
powder. Beat one egg to a froth, add
to it cupful of milk and beat into
the flour. Bake as usual
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Coupons.

Mrs. Flatbush-Is your house fur
nished yet?
Mrs. Bensonhurst-Not completely.
ly
why doesn't that husband of yours
get busy?"
Well. he is. Hes smoking more
than ever just now"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Beet and Bermuda Onion Salad.

Cut into slices and then into strips
three beets, slice medium-sized on.
ion; quarter and separate the sections.
Add as much celery as you have onion
one-half teaspoonful of capers or
chopped pickles, salt and white pep
per Mix and serve with your fayorite
dressing.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Stealing a March.

Where do you intend to go to this
summer"
I'm going to stay at home" re-
piled Mr.. Dustin Stax. MY family's
going away and I'm going to embrace
the opportunity to sit in my shirt
sleeves and smoke cigars in the best
rooms in the house"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Cow Eats $500 in Bills.

John Layton, farmer near Durham
had no faith in banks. Now he has
no faith in cows. One prize Guernsey
ate $500 in bills which he had hidden
in his barn. Darn the cows" said
Layton. "They have no respect for
money.'-Durham On. c. Dispatch to
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Opposed to Ii.

Pop"
Yes, my SON.
Il heard today that a complete
washing equipment for tourists, which
can be folded to occupy little space in
an automobile, has been invented
THAT is very nice, my boy"
Very nice? Isn't there any place
in the world fellow can go where he
doesn't have to wash?"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Nothing Relieves Tender, Aching Feet
like hot foot bath with Johnson's Foot
Soap. Composed of Borax, Bran and
Iodine. At Druggists or sent postpaid
for Csc by Thos Gill Soap Co., I'll
Kent Ave-, Brooklyn, n. Y. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Every Woman Wants
At the Races.

Redd-That fellow over there was
just talking about the horses. Do
you know him?
Greene-Oh, yes. we'll"
How do you know he's up on the
ponies?"
why, he's college graduate"
What's that got to do with his
knowing the ponies?'
why, he's a graduate of a veterin-
airy college. "-Yonkers Statesman.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
III ynIl nE ANY ER1EKn

Suffer with rheumatism or Neuritis, acute OF
chronic, write for my FREE BOOK on Rheuma
Hsm-Its Cause and Cure. Most wonderful book
ever written, it's absolutely FREE. Jesse A
Case, Dept. G. W., Brockton, Mass.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Baked SAUSAGE,

After the sausage is curled in a fry
ing pan it should be covered with a
tin cover. Place in moderate oven
for one hour turning once or twice.
This makes 1t delicate brown, and it
is thoroughly cooked. Squares of
toasted bread are served with it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
CLEANING Hint.

Wash your best cut glassware in a
wooden bowl. 1t lessons the chances
of breakage. If you haven't such a
bowl place a good-sized Turkish towel
in the bottom of the dishpan.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Although soldier by profession,
have never felt any sort of fondness
for war, and l have never advocated
it except as a means of peace-U. S.
Grant
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Where Memory Counts.

Hemmandhaw-I must say that you
have the most remarkable memory |
ever heard Of.
Shimmerpate-Tha you.
I'm fact, | would advise you to go
into vaudeville"
AS a mental phenomenon"
No, as a comedian. You could re-
member the old JOKES so well -
Youngstown Telegram.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Verv Attractive,

This novel has an attractive de-
scription of the hero's country home"
You bet" assented the old farmer
I'D like mighty well to use that in
the booklet l get out every year for
summer boarders.'
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

A man may be all right in his way.
but he frequently gets in the way OF
others.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Easy Terms.

Crawford hear that he's econo-
MIXING.
Crabshaw-Yes; he doesn't buy any
thing now unless he can get it on
credit.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

the question God
asked Adam after
Adam sinned and
was trying to hide
himself from the
presence of God.
Sin always, con-
sciously separates
one from God so
that the sinner
ever tries to get
away from the
presence Of the
Almighty. For
this reason men
close the Bible
which brings them
face to face with
God. This is the
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Onion Salad.

Scald, then brown one or two large
onions till soft; when cold slice the
sliced beetroot. Dress with oil, vine
gar salt and pepper.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
A Reason for BEING Neutral.

why should we remain neutral!'
SOS we can cheer for the winner.
and say that we were for him all the
time"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Nearly every pretty girl is a piano
thumper and nearly every homely girl
is a good cook.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
The impression She Made.

Jacks Miss Strong an athletic
girl?
Tom-Well, that was my impression
when she threw me over
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

The man who makes work of his
pleasure doesn't always make pleasure
of his work.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

AS a matter of fact the sins of
large city haven't anything on coun-
try village-if the truth were known.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
L attn American.

Caesar sent his three word message.
However" we cried, you can't say
Veni yidi Villa"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

There is quite a difference between
throwing your whole soul into thing
and putting your foot into it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Heard in an Office.

ANY money about you, old man."
Money, l haven't enough to buy the
right of way for a wireless telegraph"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Tho Art of II,

She-Jack, you make love like an
amateur.
He-That's where the art comes in.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Caesars wife didn't have to live in
the suburbs to be gossiped about.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

We are always complaining that our
days are few, and acting as though
there world be no end CT them.-
Senera-
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
No lime for DISPUTE.

| find the doing of the will of God
leaves me no time to dispute about his
plans.-GeOrge Mcdonald.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

The man who thinks he is the
whole thing doesn't waste any time
in trying to conceal it from others.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

1t is easier to pick fuss with neigh
bors than it is to pick music out of
a banjo.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

FITS, EPILEPSY. FALLING SICKNESS
Stopped Quickly. Fifty years Of uninterrupted
lasting results. LARGE TRIAL BOTTLE FREE. DIR.
KLINE COMPANY, Red Bank, N. J.-Adv,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Where Art
Thou?
By Rev. VIM. Wallace Ketchum
Director Of the Practical Work Course,
Moody Bible Institute of Chicago

TENT-And the Lord God called unto
Adam. and said unto him, Where art
thou Gen. 3:9.
So far as we know this is the first
question God ever asked man. 1t is
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
Correct Use of Enulish.

Mrs Knicker-Do you keep help?
Mrs Bocker-No, we keep inter
ference
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Love may be blind, but the girls
father and the dog seldom need the
s ervice OF an oculist
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Snake bites cause comparatively
few deaths.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

India is producing more coal than
all other British dependencies.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Confucius preferred pigtails to
cocktails.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23
placed anywhere. at

placed anywhere, at
tracts and kills all
dies. Neat, clean, or
namental, convenient.
cheap. Lasts all
season. II o d e of
metal, can'tspill or tip
over; will not soil or
1 njure anyth ng.
Guaranteed effective.
All dealers or6sent
express paid for sl.W.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1916-06-23

Compound made her well, SO took it and
now am just as well as ever was.
cannot understand why women don't
see how much pain and suffering they
would escape by taking your medicine.
! cannot praise it enough for it saved
my life and kept me from the Insane
Hospital. Mrs. E. SHELDON, 5657 S.
Halsted ST., Englewood, Ill.
Physicians undoubtedly did their best,
battled with this case steadily and could
do no more, but often the most scientific
treatment is surpassed by the medicinal
properties of the good old fashioned
roots and herbs contained in Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
If any complication exists ih
pays to write the Lydia e. Pink
ham Medicine Co., Lynn, Masss
for special free advice.