Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-03-04

great Al Ras.
clild turn Haroun In his grave II not
80 then the assertion should do so, the
real caliph having been wit and a
scholar and therefore hater Of puns
How properly TO alleviate the trou.
bIes Of the poor is one of the greatest
troubles OF the rich. But one thing
agreed upon by all professional philan-
throplsts Is that you must never hand
over any cash to your subject The
poor are notorlously temperamental,
aud when they get money they exhibit
a strong tendency to spend 1t for stun.
ed olives and enlarged crayon portraits
iustead o. giving 1t to the lnstallment
man.
Aud stlll old HarOun had some ad-
vantages as an eleemosynarlan. He
took around with him on his rambles
his ylzler, Giafar "a vizier Is compo-
allie OF a chauffeur, a secretary OF state
nad a night and day bank, and old
Uncle Mesrour, his executloner, who
toled snickersnee. With this en-
touage a callphing tour could hardly
fall to be successful. Have you no.
ticed lately any newspaper articles
headed "What Shall We Do With Our
HS.Presidents?" Well, now. suppose
Nc Carnegie should engage them and
Jess Willard to go about assisting In
the distribution OF free libraries? Do
YOU suppose any town would have the
hardihood to refuse one? That caliph.
alous combination would cause two
libraries to grow where there had been
only one set OF +, P. Roe's works be.
fore
But as | said, the money calipbs
are Handicapped. They have the idea
thOt earth has no sorrow that dough
cannot heal, and they rely upon It sole
~ Al Raschld Administered justice
rewarded the deserving and punished
whOmsoeyer be dlsllked on the spot.
He was the originator OF the short
story contest Whenever he suceOred
any chance pickup In the bazaars he
always made the succoree tell the
ead story OF his life. It the narrative
lacked construction, style and esprit
he commanded his yizler to dole him
out couple OF thousand ten dollar
notes OF the First National Bank Of
tue Bosporus. or else gave him soft
job as Keeper OF the Bird Seed for the
Bulbuls In the Imperial Gardens. II
the story was a crackerlack he had
Mesrour. the executioner whack on
his head, The report that Haroun Al
Raschld is yet alive and is editing the
magazine that your grandmother used
60 subscribe for lacks confirmation.
And now follows the STORY OF the
millionaire "The Ine1llcacious Incre-
ment' aud The Babes Drawn From
the Wood"
Young Howard Pilklns, the million
aire got his money ornlthoogically.
tle was a shrewd judge OF storks and
GOT IN on the ground door at the resi-
deuce OF his immediate ancestors. the
Puklns Brewing company. For his
mother was partner In the business
Finally old man pllkins died from a
torpid liver. aud then Mrs. Pllkins died
from worry on account OF torpid de-
. livery wagons-and there you have
young Howard Pllklns with Sl,0OO,0OO
and good fellow at that, lie was
ou agreeable modestly arrogant young
man. who implicitly believed that
money could buy anything that the
world had 10 Offer Aud Bagdad-on-
the-Subway for a long time did every
thlng possible TO encourage his belief.
But the rat trap caught him at last
lie heard the spring snap and found
hls heart in wire cage regarding a
piece OF cheese whose other name was
Alice Won der Ruysling.
The Won der RuyslngS still live In
that little square about which so much
has been said aud In which SO little
hos been done Today you hear OF Mr..
Tildcu's underground passage, and you
hear Mr.. Gould's elevated passage, aud
that about ends the noise IN the world
made by Gmmercy square. But once
Il was different The Won der Ruys.
hugs 1--we there yet. and they received
tbe drst key ever made to Gramercy
park
You shall have no description Of Alice
3 4 r. JUST call up IN your mind
the picture OF your own Maggie OF Vera
90 Beatrice, stralghten her nose. soften
her voice, tone her down and then tone
her up, make her beautiful and uuat.
inina5le, and you have faint dry
Point etching of Alice. The family
owned crumbly brick house aud a
coachman named Joseph In n coat Of
many colors, and a horse so old that
te claimed 10 belong to the order OF
the rerlsSodaclyla, ana had toes IN.
stead OF hoofs In the year iSQS the
family had 10 buy a new set OF har
ucss for the rerissodactyl Before
using L they made Joseph smear lt
ever With mixture o. ashes aud SCOT.
Il was the Won der RuyslIng family
that bought the territory between the
Bowery aud East river aud Rlvington
sieeei and lhe statue o. Liberty. Ia the