davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
His Inheritance.

Askitt-Did young Dodge inherit
anything from his father?
Notifies, 1 believe he inherited
the old mans desire to avoid work.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Sense of Humor.

"You seldom laugh. You have no
sense of humor."
Il have a sufficient sense of humor."
said Miss Cayenne, ito recognize
when it is time not to laugh"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Just Like a Woman.

Parker = Speaking of secretive
people, your friend Hazel is certainly
the limit.
Aimie-What's the explanation?
Parker-She mailed a souvenir post
card this morning marked Personal"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Suffer with Rheumatism or Neuritis, acute or
chronic, write for my FREE BOOK on Rheuma-
tsm-Its Cause and Cure. Most wonderful book
ever written, it's absolutely FREE. Jesse a,
Ease, Dept. 9. w, Brockton, Mass.-Ady.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
The LEGISLATOR.

He doesn't care if they raise the fare,
He'll be happy anyway
If they'll just increase his mileage
Which the people pay.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Leisure is the few seconds rest a
man gets at home while his wife is
hunting up something else for him
to do.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Business Methods.

Il suppose this suburban villa be-
longs to a banker"
How did you know that?"
Il notice all the vines in it are
runners"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Every man believes there is a re-
ward laid up in heaven for him, but he
is lever in a hurry to claim it.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Natural Result.

"Smythe is a live wire"
He touched me this morning for
ten dollars"
with what result?"
II vas shocked"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Where He Went Lame.

The professor was a wise guy,
But to save his soul
When he ate a doughnut, why
He couldn't save the hole.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

An artificial oil geranium made of
phenol has been invented in France
for pertaining soap.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Even if a man doesn't manage to
come out on top his hair will.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Need.

There is certainly one addition they
ought to have to the weather of
fice.''
whats that?"
"A clearing house."
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
where Peace Has Its Home.

KnicFer-Why do you take a phono-
graph when you go fishing?
Booker Because / can keep it from
tslkiag.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Compensations.

'This lady lecturers subject is very
dry"
"Ah, but just listen t. her liquid
voice"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

If the wind is in the right direction,
a sort of cold smell gives sailors warn
ing of the proximity of an iceberg.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Has the doctor a large practice?"
SO large that when people have
nothing the matter with them he tells
them So"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

India has "a, 5O5. 900 acres of cotton.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Enough.

MY dear. do you want to go to the
movies t~onight?"
mo. I've got enough of the movies.
I've been watching two families go out
of the block this morning and three
coming into it."
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Sense and Sound.

In empty sound we still rejoice
With feelings strangely proud,
The man who has the biggest voice
Can reach the largest crowd.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Never fool with a fool; he may fool
you.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24
"EnaIish as She Is Spoke"

Writing in the Autocar, an English
publication, an English motorist seri-
ously advises his kind who contem-
plate visiting America to provide
themselves with dictionaries 50 that
they may be able to understand the
natives.
AS instances of outre Americanisms,
he cites that Americans say they want
to examine the gasoline line" when
they mean the '''petrol tank" When
we complain that the car ''only hits
on three" we imply that it is possible
only to make it fire on three cylin-
ders." We further confuse this critic
when we say "hood' instead Of 'bon-
net"
"Mudguards" should be called ''scut
tie dashes,' and to use cement in
stead of ''tyre solution is also wrong
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24

and out Of them motifs Of timber. Them
buZzards on the left is circlin' round
over Sam Kildrake's old paint boss
that killed hisself over drinkin' on a
hot day. You can't see the boss for
that mott Of ellums on the creek, but
he's thar. Anybody that was goin to
look for Dead Hoss valley and come
across this picture, why, he'd jest light
off his brOnchO and hunt a place to
ramp
Skinny Rogers, welded to comedy,
conceived a complimentary little piece
of acting that never failed to make an
impression. Edging quite near to the
picture, he would suddenly at favora-
Bile moments emit piercing and
awful "Yi-yi!' leap high and away
coming down with a great stamp of
heels and whirring Of gowels upon the
stone tagged floor.
"Jeeming Christopherr'-so ran his
lines" thought that RATHER was a GIN
u-ine one. Ding haste my skin if /
didn't! Seemed to me l heard him rat
tie. Look at the blamed unconverted
insect a-layin' under that pear! Little
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24

The artist glanced at Lonny's wiry
figure and nut brown skin. Something
stirred him to a passing irritation.
For arts sake, son." he said, frac-
tiously, don't spend any more money
for paint. It isn't picture at all. It's
a gun. You hold up the state with it
+ If you like and get your $1,000, but
don't get in front of any more canvas.
Live under it. Buy a couple of hun
dred ponies with your money-rm told
they're that cheap-and ride, ride, ride.
Fill your lungs and eat and sleep and
be happy. No more pictures. You
look healthy. That's genius. Cultivate
it." He looked at his watch. Given
ty minutes to 8. -Four capsules and
one tablet at 3. That's all you wanted
to know, isn't it?'
At O'Clock the cowpunchers rode up
for Lonny, bringing Hot Tamales, sad
died. Traditions must be observed.
TO celebrate the passage Of the bill by
the senate the gang must ride wildly
through the town, creating uproar and
excitement.
Come ON, boys" said Lonny, urging
Hot Tamales into a gallop with his
knees. With a whoop the inspired lob
by tore after him through the dust
Lonny led his cohorts straight for the
capitol. With a wild yell the gang in
dorsed his now evident intention Of
riding into it. Hooray for San Saba!
Up the six broad limestone steps Chat
tered the bronchos of the oowpunch-
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24
Nature and the Artist.

And when the evening mist clothes
the riverside with poetry, as with a
veil, and the poor buildings lose them
selves in the dim sky, and the tail
chimneys become campanii, and the
warehouses are palaces in the night.
and the whole city hangs in the heay-
ems, and fairyland is before US. then
Che wayfarer hastens home. The work
ingman and the cultured one, the wise
man and the one of pleasure, cease to
understand, as they have ceased tc
see, and nature, who. for once, has
sung in tune, sings her exquisite song
to the artist alone, her son and her
master-her son in that he loves her.
her master in that he knows her,
Whistler's 'The Gentle Art Of Making
Enemies
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24
GOOD FARM FOR SALE

This farm located in Orleans County,
miles railroad miles from little village where
schools churches The scholars carried school,
On road neighbors telephone milk and mail
and barn Nice orchard of
tage good SOIL smooth level and nearly
Balance pasture and woodland waeed by brook good
fences Quite quantity hard and soft wood timber and est
standing miles mill Good 2
story house painted white Cellar with foundation There
pantry Shade Barn arranged for IS head
with stalls Round So outside of barn.
Sugar Trees of which gge with
galvanized buckets Leader evapoator sugarngo rig gal
vanzed storage tanks Personal Poper8 calves good
horses swine, hens hay complete farming TOOLS
PRICE $4,000 Send for Catalogue
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24

ers- Into the resounding hallway they
pattered, scattering in dismay those
passing on foot. Lonny, in the lead,
showed Hot Tamales direct for the
great picture. At that hour down
pouring, soft light from the second
story windows bathed the big canvas.
Against the darker background OF the
hall the painting stood out with valu-
able effect. In spite of the defects Of
the art you could almost fancy that
you gazed out upon a landscape. You
might we'll finch step from the con-
vincing figure Of the life sized steer
stampeding across the grass. Perhaps
it thus seemed to Hot Tamales. The
scene was in his line. Perhaps he only
obeyed the will Of his rider. His ears
| pricked up; he snorted. LOnny leaned
forward in the saddle and elevated his
elbows, Wing-like. Thus signals the
covpuncher to his steed to launch him
self full speed ahead. Did Hot Ia
males fancy he saw q steer, red and
cavorting, that should be headed off
and driven back to herd? There was
a fierce clatter Of hoofs, a rush, gath
erfng Of steely flank muscles, a leap
to the jerk of the bride rein, and Hot
Tamales, with Lonny bending low in
the saddle to dodge the top Of the
frame, ripped through the great can
vas like a shell from mortar, leaving
the cloth hanging in ragged shreds
about mOnstrOus hole.
Quickly Lonny pulled up his pony,
and rounded the pillars. Spectators
came running, too astounded. to add
speech to the commOtOn- The ser
geant at arms Of the house came forth,
frowned, looked ominOus and then
grinned Many Of the legislators
crowded out to observe the tumult.
Lonny's cowpunchers were stricken TO
silent horror by his mad deed
Senator Kinney, happened to be
among the earliest to emerge. Before
he could speak Lonny leaned in his
saddle as Hot Tamales pranced, point
ed his quirt at the senator and said
calmly:
''That was a fine speech you made
today, mister but you might as well
let up ON that preparation business.
mint askin' the state to give me moth
In. 1 thought l had picture to sell
to it, but it wasn't one. You said g
. heap of things about Grandfather Bris
coe that makes me kind Of proud Tn
his grandson. Well. the Briscoes AIM
takin presents from the state yet
Anybody can have the frame tina
wants it. Hit her up, boys"
Away scuttled the San Saba delega
ton out of the hall, down the steps
= along the dusty street.
Halfway to the San Saba countr!
they camped that night At bedtim'
: Lonny stole away from the campfr
e md sought Hot Tamales, placidly eat
0 ing grass at the end of his stake rope
c Lonny hung upon his neck, and his ar
$ aspirations went forth forever in on
g long. regretful sigh. But as he thu
+ made remuneration his breath forme
:, a word or two.
: "You was the only one, Tamales
g what seen anything in it. It did loo
like steer, didn't 1t, old hossY'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24

OF the Wuuef-
ness had come a
painter. Genius,
W b o s e corona
tons alone are
democratic, b a d
woven a chaplet
Of chaparral for
the brow Of Lon
ny Brisooe. Art,
whose divine eX-
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24
G. q. OBEN & CO.

NO stock located
IA miles to R. neighbours
water house fruit Tage
all machine work Will
Modern
$50 cpboarded painted
Box 49, three stalls
including
rugged
Price $4,000
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24
Do You Need a Good Farm?

If so look of STOWE FARMS. DO you know
Soil investigate considering
and tied particular section we
dandy $4,000 down and balance $3.50 and in
Cottage osv road with water
cabinet Kitchen fine yard and shade trees Barn 3oAo tying
~ sio with running and we'll painted Horse
with house, maple trees 40 apple trees and
plenty wood timber young stock horses hogs
Pasture will care for s. head
All machine moving
We have a TOURING AUTOMOBILE that will trade for
horses Hassbeen miles demonaor
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-05-24
O. Henry
Stories
VII. - Art and the
BrOnchO
By 0. HENRY
By o. HENRY

copyright by Doubleday, Page & Col
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15

! Funeral services for Mrs. Delbert d.
Knight were held at 230 o'clock yester-
| day afternoon from her late home,
Barre street, Rev, Stanley +. Bloomfield
officiating. The bearers were Arthur
Whtcomb, Gilman c. Luce, Elmer Clark
and James Brown. Burial was made in
Green Mount cemetery.
C. ID. Wheelock of State street, for
mer furniture dealer, and Alice Briggs
of Montpelier and Barre were arrested
early this morning by Officer William
McAvoy. The couple we're found occupy
ing room in the Hszen block on Main
street and were taken to the police sta
tion States Attorney Gleason and
Grand Juror Theriault being summoned.
They were place in Jail on the charge OF
adultery and arraigned this forenoon be
fore Judge f. NJ. Harvey. Bail was fixed
in each case at $3.50, Wheelock furnish
ing bonds for the woman. ri. Wheelock
has been operating a public automobile
since he disposed of his business several
months ago.
In probate court to-day Mrs. Marion
Sanborn of Northfield settled her account
as administrative of the estate of Alfred
l.. Case, late of Northfeld. Frank Gui-
duel was appointed administrator of the
estate of Joseph Sassi, late of Barre
City.
Hamilton Baldwin of Wells River,
member of the penal board was in the
city to-day on his way home from Rut-
land where he visited the house of cor.
rection The lizard is making up its re-
port to be given the budget committee
which meets some time next month. Mr.
Baldwin says that considerable trouble
is being experienced in making up the
estimates owing to constant change in
the price of foodstuffs.
Walter H. Crockett of Burlington is
visiting in the city for few days while
attending the fruit show
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
BRITISH PUSH ALONG
* PAST BEAUCOURT
Latter's Success on the Ex-
treme Northern Extrem-
ity of the Somme Battle
Line Is Continuing, and
Over 5000 Germans Have
Been Taken Prisoners

With the battle between the British
and the Germans still raging around the
Ancre brook, the Germans have struck
the French lines hard blow at the other
extremity of the Somme fighting front,
attacking early this morning between
Ablaincourt and Chaulnes wood, south
of the river Paris declares that the at
tack, desperately pressed with the as
sistanoe of liquid fire and tear-producing
shells, resulted in gain only to the
east of Pressoire, halfway between
Chaulnes and Ablaincourt. Here the Ger
mans reached a group of ruined dwell
ings.
The latest news from the British Of
fensive in the Ancre region reported Cen
eral Haig's forces pressing on beyond the
village of ourt-sur-Ancre, the
ground about which has been we'll con-
solidated. The taking of more than 5000
German prisoners has been officially an
nounced.
North of the Somme Paris announces
progress for the French in the st. Pierre
vaast wood region, where possession of
the dominating ground at Saillisel is ia
cilitating the operations.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
BLAMES MIDDLEMEN.
President Wilson Says They are Respon.
sible for High Food Prices.

Washington ID. c., Nov. l5.-President
Wilson blamed middlemen for the high
cost of foodstuffs here last night in a
speech welcoming to Washington the
convention of the National grange, the
first formal speech he has delivered since
the election. Urging that farmers in
crease their output, the president said !:
"We ought to raise such big crops that
circumstances like the present can never
recur, when men can make as il the
supply was so short that the middle.
man could charge for it what he pleased.
IL will not do to be niggardly with the
rest of the world in respect to its food
supply"
ut seems to me- said the president,
'that some of the most interesting prob
lens of our life and of the life of the
world lie before us, problems in connec-
ton with which the farmers of the Unit
ed States will play part such as they
have never played before.
1--WE have sent food to all part. nf the
world and the American farmer has con-
tributed to the life of all the countries
of the world. But yeu know that as
our own population has increase the pro-
portion in which we could help foreign
countries as contracted with our own
has decreased and there are problems
that are comparable with the problems
of craftsmanship lying ahead of the
farmers of the United States.
"In the future we have got to bring
more of the area of the United States
under cultivation than is under culti-
walton now. We have got to increase
the product at every point where it is
susceptible OF being increased.
Zone of the things that has most in
terested me about what has been done
recently by legislation for the benefit of
the farmer is the question why it was
not done long before 1t is astonishing
that the assets, the valuable assets, the
visible assets of the farm should not
have been available as basis of credit
in the banks on the same terms as the
assets of commercial undertaking and
industry. Cattle are just
as visible and tangible as goods in ware
houses and goods on trains.
II wish that all problems of govern
ment were displayed in as clear lines of |
isty as this problem of government with |
'egard to how the farmer ought TO be |
reated is displayed. | wish, fer exam
,le, that foreign affairs were as simple |
rs agriculture The great satisfaction |
about what you have to discuss is that
when once your duty is determined, We
nave got great force of intelligence to
70 forward in the line of duty"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
Might Be Ready for Peace
After the Rumanian Cam
paign, Says Apponyi
FORMER HUNGARIAN
PREMIER TALKATIVE
Does Not Like Wilson, but
Would Accept His Serv-
ices as intermediary

Berlin, Nov. 49, via London, Nov. Is
delayed The opening of peace negoti-
ations can perhaps be expected with fair
prospects of success in the course of the
coming winter, according to Count AL
bert Apponyi, the veteran Hungarian
leader. The former Hungarian premier
expresses his views in an interview with
correspondent of the Associated Press.
1--WE cannot expect" he said, ito see
peace negotiations opened within the
next few weeks while the Rumanian
campaign is undecided However, | re-
gard our chances for success there to be
excellent, and once Rumania is crushed
/ think both sides will be willing to con-
slider the question of peace. Rumania
was the entente's last card and is prov.
ing losing one.
"0nce this war is finished" he said,
Europe probably will have at least 25
or 80 years of peace until the genera
tion, which passed through this conflict,
has departed from the stage"
Discussing the possibility of neutral
mediation, he said he saw no reason
why such should not be welcomed when
the opportune moment should arrive and
he added that he knew no reason why
President Wilson should not be accepta,
BILE as intermediary. "We feel, of course"
be said, that President Wilson has not
treated us fairly and that he has re-
parted from the way of strict neutrality.
But even though one does not like the
person that is no reason for rejecting
his services when these may be use
full"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
WILL DEFEND
ADAMSON LAW
U. S. Department Of Justice
to Meet Railroads
Attack
SUITS
ALREADY ENTERED
New Haven Railroad Is to
Bring Action in Four
States

Washington, D. c., Nov. l5.-Attorney
General Gregory has decided that the
suits by the railroads against the en-
forcement of the Adams son eight hour
law will be defended by the department
of justice. A number of suits have al
ready been filed by railroads in different
parts of the country. The Pennsylvania
railroad instituted proceedings to-day
and word came later from New York
that the New York Central had formally
filed suit, and the announcement was
made that the New Haven also would
take similar action soon in New York,
Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Con-
necticut.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
BEAUC0URT HAS FALLEN.
Is Third Village to Be Taken By British
Since Monday.

London, Nov. l5.-The British drive
begun early Monday morning amid fog
and rain in the region of the Ancre
river in France has netted them another
village-Beaucourt on the north bank OF
the Ancre. The capture of this village
makes three that have fallen into Brit
ish hands since the advance began, the
other two being -Hamel and St
Pierre Divion. There is no indication
that the offensive has ceased at any
point along the five-mile front.
In the drive the British thus far have
taken more than 5000 German prison
ers, and, according to the latest re-
ports, more captives are being brought
in.
Aside from the gains in the Ancre re-
gion. the British also have made an ad-
vance to the east of the Butte De War
lencourt, about three miles southeast of
the important town of Bapaume.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
E. c. SORTWELL KILLED.
Son of Alvin F. Sortwell Was with
French Armies at Saloniki

Boston, Nov. l5.-Edward C. Sortwell
of Cambridge, who has been serving in
the American ambulance field service
with the French armies, died Nov. IL in
a hospital in Saloniki from injuries re-
ceived in an automobile accident, accord
ing to a cablegram received by his broth
er, d. r. Sortwel.
Sortwvsi was graduated from Harvard
in 1911 and joined the ambulance serv-
ice in France last May. One month ago
he was tranferred to Saloniki.
Edward Carter Sortwell was the son
of Mrs. and the late ex-Mayor Alvin
Sortwell of Cambridge, where the family
makes its home at 81 Highland street.
II is one of the wealthiest of Cambridge
families, and maintains an extensive es-
tate at Wiscasset, Me. Two sons and
three daughters survive.
Sortwell was about 2S and single Born
in Cambridge, he was educated in pri-
vate schools and graduated with the
Harvard university class of 1911. He
entered the employ of the Ludlow Man
ufacturing company, and had been sta
toned at Calcutta, India, as its jute
buyer.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1916-11-15
CALIFORNIA; VOTE
Whether Split or Not Depends on Deli
cate Point at Issue.

San Francisco, Nov. l5.-Whether the
highest vote for a Republican elector in
California was greater than the lowest
vote for a Democratic elector is about
the only question of interest to Califor-
MIA politicians If this should prove to
be the case the states delegation in the
electoral college may be split. The Re-
publicans admittedly unearthed nothing
in the course of the day to indicate for
or against such prospect.
Sidney NJ, Van Wyck, ir., chairman OF
the Democratic campaign committee,
worked all day bringing in reports from
little counties in the mountains where
the county clerks had finished theireount
and also succeeded in getting one or two
fair sized counties. His total for 90
counties showed that the totals for the
lowest Democratic elector in each county
added 6.466 votes more than the totals
for the highest Republican elector in the
same counties. This count would show,
when completed, the Wilson electoral
vote at its lowest ebb, Mr. Van Wyck
said.
That is to say, If the lowest Democrat
ic totals are finally ahead of the highest
Republican totals, solid delegation in
the electoral college is assured. If the
highest Republican totals exceed the'low-
est Democratic totals, this will not nee
essarily indicate that any Republican
electors win because the lowest Demo
cratic and highest Republicans are not
the same in all counties.
Republicans and Democrats alike man
ifested surprise at rumors traceable in
all cases to the East, that a considerable
error had been found somewhere in the
state in counting the votes.