davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickson County herald. (Dickson, Tenn.) 1907-1979, 1916-09-08

We forget the speed limit when
delivering quality groceries; they
must &c, there, IN. Wynns, The
Home Of Quality
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

across the top along the rear edge
&c, Fig. 81, and another strip to each
end edge Cd, Fig. 81. Then batten
the cover boards together as you did
those of the drop-leaf, but on the I'M
der side, and hinge to the hinge-strip
with pair of two-inch hinges. Strips
D are provided to shorten the cover
boards so they will not strike the end
uprights of the desk when the cover
is opened.
Casters are not necessary, but in
asmuch as the desk will be heavy
when filled, they will make it easier
to move Two blocks (E, Fig. g. must
be nailed across the bottom box to
fasten the castors to.
Figure 6 shows how the two boxes
are connected with four corner up
rights. Cut these one inch thick,
three inches wide and four feet long
and nail or screw them to the box
ends. Fasten the lower ends of the
uprights even with the castor blocks
E, and the upper ends SO they will ex-
tend six inches above the top Of the
desk.
Two coats of paint will add the
finishing touches to the desk. Putty
all cracks and nail-holes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
PADDY READY WITH EXCUSE
Caught in the Act, He Had His An
swer as II It Had Been
Rehearsed.

A merchant who suspected an Irish
man in his employ of tampering with
the private stock of whisky allowed
the demijohn to become empty, and,
instead of filling it again, put the
liquor in bottles in a cupboard, and
labeled them Poison
One night, as be came home from
the theater, he caught the fellow in
the act. t'eizing the bottle in mock
terror, the employer exclaimed:
Great heavens! Do you know what
you are doing? Don't you see that
what that bottle contains is marked
Poison"
Paddy held it off and looked at it.
Then he smelt it with look of mel
ancholy, replied;
"'Tain't poison, sir! It's meself
that's foiled agin."
How dare you tamper with II
whether you knew it was poison or
not?"
It's like this, sir. From the way
yer honor emptied that demijohn in
the cellar thought you had your sus
picions of me, an it made me melan
cboly, so thought, yer honor, I'd com
nit suicide"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
NOT RIGHT KIND OF FOWL
Magician In Hard Luck When He
Meant to Put Finishing Touch
on Entertainment.

Now, ladies and gentlemen" said
the conjurer, trying to make his husky
voice impressive, Il will conclude my
entertainment with truly wonderful
trick. 1t is feat which must be seen
to be believed"
After a lot of difficulty he borrowed
a shabby silk hat from his village
audience. Turning it upside down to
prove :here was nothing inside, he
next placed it brim uppermost on his
little table and proceeded to produce
~ eggs from its depths.
The audience watched with Cog
Cling eyes, and then burst into wild
applause.
"And now" the magician went on,
bowling his thanks, 81 will show you
that, although the hat is empty. there
is inside it the hen that laid those
eggs"
Putting his hand into the hat he
withdrew a flutterhlg, squawking fowl
which he placed on the table, and
turned to face the applause.
Instead there was a wild yell Of
laughter. He turned in amazement
which changed to horror when the
fowl shrieked.
"Cocka-doodle-do-o! - Philadelphia
Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

screw-eye into the outer end of the
battens, and another into the under
side of the top of the box, in line with
each of these, and connect the screw
eyes with brass chain or heavy cord
SO the drop-leaf will not drop below
the proper level.
Figures l and show a simple catch
for holding the drop-leaf closed. Make
short latch with notch and bevel
cut on one end, and a hole bored
through it near the other end,
like that shown in Figs. and 4, and
pivot this with screw to block b.
Then nail B to the top of the box in
the right position SO when the drop
leaf is closed the catch will drop over
its top edge as shown in Fig. 8. The
dotted lines in Fig. indicate how the
drop-leaf will strike and lift the catch
in closing.
To complete the bottom safe, it is
only necessary to nail a hinge-strip
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
) HANDICRAFT FOR BOYS AND GIRLS !:
z A. Nicely HALL and DOROTHY PERKINS z
RfHEAEsH
lCopyrig by A. Neelx taul
A JAPANESE GARDEN.

Do you own japanese garden? II
not, you should get one right away, be-
cause it is the latest fad to have one.
First of all, you will need a shallow
baking pan in which to plant the gar
den. This may be round or square.
For soil you must have sand. and you
must also have some coarse pebbles or
pieces of broken stone. This can be
had for the asking some place where
building is in course of construction.
Half painful of sand and several
handfuls of pebbles will be enough.
In addition, you must buy some bird
seed or Japanese grass seed to plant
in the soil. The rest of the garden
material can be picked UP at home.
There are any number o. arrange
ments for the garden that can be
worked out, and you can replant your
garden from time to time to make it
different. Fig. 1 shows a good plan
to follow for your first one. Pile up
the sand around the sides of the pan,
forming hills and hollows, and leave
an irregular-shaped space in the CEN
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Soldiers Want No Children.

I asked Zeni Peshkoff, socialist,
what his sensations were when he
went out to kill. ut didn't seem real,
it doesn't now. Before my last charge
the lieutenant and were filled with
the beauty of the night. We sat gaz-
ing at the stars. Then the command
came and we rushed forward. 1t did
not seem possible | was killing hu-
man beings" 1t is the unreality that
sustains men, Germans are not hui
man beings-only the enemy. For the
wounded French soldier will tell you
he loathes war and longs for peace.
He fights or one object, permanent
peace. He fights to save his children
from fighting.
"Have you any children" l asked
one soldier, mo, thank Cod is the
reply. But why?" Because" comes
the fierce answer, eff l had son I
would rather he deserted than see
what l have SEEN" The man is not
unusual. The soldiers-not the wom-
en-are beginning to say: 1--WE will
have no more children unless there
is no more Wharf.-The New Republic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
old FASHIONED FAMILY REMEDY
FOR COLDS and BODY BUILDING
Father Johns Medicine Builds
Up the Body Without Use of
Alcohol or Dangerous Drugs.
Best for Colds-Heals Throat
and Lungs.
Absolute Truth of This Story
Attested by Guarantee to Give
$25,OOO.OO to Any Charitable Insti-
tuition if Shown Otherwise.

Father Johns Medicine is physicians pre-
scription.
Prescribed for the late Rev. Father John
OBrien, of Lowell, Mass, by an eminent spe-
cialist in 1855.
Father John recommended this prescription
20 his parishioners and friends and in this way
it became known as Father Johns Medicine
This story is true and we guarantee to give
$25000.00 to any charitable institution, if shown
otherwise.
Father Johns Medicine is recommended for
coughs, colds, and throat and lung troubles,
and to make flesh and strength. Does not con-
tain alcohol or poisonous drugs.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

ter, and extending over to one side Of
the pan, for pond. Make a shore line
of pebbles around the pond, and scat
ter other pebbles here and there over
the sand.
One of the hills must be selected as
site for little Japanese house. This
house may be made of cardboard.
Fig. shows patterns for the walls.
The dotted lines indicate where the
pieces are to be folded. The strips
outside of the dotted lines are to be
turned in and pasted to adjoining sur
faces, in fastening the walls, founda-
ton and roof together. Fasten the
walls upon cardboard foundation
Gig. u, and glue another piece to
their tops for the roof
A high arched bridge must be built
over narrow portion of the pond, as
shown in Fig. /. Make this Of piece
Of a peach-basket handle Gig. 81,
with a cardboard railing Gig. A.
tackled to each edge. The arch of the
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

eye think a fine lot of Shakes
speare?"
81 do, sir" was the reply.
"An' We thiuk he was mair clever
than Rabbie Burns?"
"Why, there's no comparison be-
| tween them"
Maybe, no; but We tell Us 1t was
Shakespeare who wrote, Uneasy lies
the head that wears a crown. Now
Rabbie would never hae written sic
nonsense as that"
Nonsense, siri" Numbered the
other.
AYE, just nonsense. Rabbie would
haze kent fine that king or queen ell
Their disnd gang to bed wi the Groom
on their head. He'd have kent they
hang it over the back O. q chair.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

Optimistic Thought.
A hale cobbler is better than an
ailing king.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
THE VERY TIME
When Powerful Food Is Most Needed.

The need of delicate yet nutritious
food is never felt so keenly as when a
convalescent gets set back on &C
count of weak stomach. Then is when
Grape-Nuts shows it's power for it is
most scientific and easily digested
food.
About year ago." writes Kansas
woman, my little six-year-old niece
left the invigorating and buoyant air
of Kansas, where all her life she had
enjoyed fairly good health, to live in
Ohio. She naturally had change of
diet and of course change of water,
and somehow she contracted typhoid
fever.
After a long siege her case seemed
hopeless, doctors gave her up, and she
was nothing but skin and bones.
couldn't eat anything and for weeks
did not know even her father or moth
err Her parents, in trying to get some
thing delicate and nourishing that she
could eat, finally hit upon Grape-Nuts
food and it turned out to be just the
thing.
"She seemed to relish it, was soon
conscious of her surroundings and be-
gan to gain strength so rapidly that
in short time she was as well, play
full and robust as if she had never
been ill.
1--WE all feel that Grape-Nuts was
the predominating factor in saving
the sweet little girls life"
Nanie given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
Ever read the above Ietterf A new
one appears from time to tune. They
are genuine, true, and full of hupaan
interest.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
handle will determine the curve of the
ratings.

handle will determine the curve of the
ratings.
The pair Of lamps at each end of the
bridge Gigs. and 81 have four sides
and bottom, cut in one piece like the
pattern shown in Fig 6. Cut an open
ing in each side as indicated, and
punch hole through the bottom for
the supporting post to fit in. Fold on
the dotted lines, and paste the turned
in edges together
There must be bird house similar
to that shown in Fig. 1. Cut and fold
the sides in the same manner that you
did those of the lamps. Make the
roof of a square of paper Gig. y, fold
from corner to corner as indicated by
dotted lines, and pinch up the corners
as in Fig. s.
There must be a number of ducks
in the pond, and these are easily made
as shown in Fig. 8. The bodies are
halves of corks Gig, 100, and the
necks and heads are made of card
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Got Out of the Difficulty.

Some time ago local corps was re-
viewed by Sir Ian Hamilton, and there
is story told that one of the officers
was mounted on horse that had pre-
viously distinguished itself in a
bakery business.
A wag in the crowd is supposed to
have recognized the horse, for he
shouted out, "Baker!" The horse
promptly stopped dead, and nothing
could urge it on. The situation was
getting painful, when the officer was
struck with brilliant idea, and re-
marked, within hearing Of his steed:
mot today, thank you"
The procession then moved on with
out further delay-London Mail.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Democratic Triumph.

The walking-stick, as we know it at
present, gained it's popularity in
France during the eighteenth century,
when it came to be carried by rich
people who had no right to wear a
sword. The dandies twirled thin
Bamboo cane in their fingers, but the
great financiers-who had consider
able influence at that time-made the
stick fashionable addition to their
wardrobe, and sometimes paid as
much as 10000 crowns for one. This
carrying of a walking-stick was re-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
She's Auin IL,

ooh, Mrs. Lawn, we want to get
your vote for the Village Improvement
society's plans. We met Mr.. Lawn on
the way to the station, and he"
Yes? How did he vote?"
why, he's for it with enthusiasm,
so We'll book you"
You'll book me as against it with
enthusiasm. In all the thirty years of
our married life my husband and
have never agreed on anything, and
it's too late to begin now"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
ECZEMAS AND RASHES
Itching and Burning Soothed by cutl.
cura. Trial Free.

The Soap to cleanse and purify, the
Ointment to soothe and heal Relief,
rest and sleep follow the use of these
supercreamy emollients and indicate
speedy and complete healment in most
cases of young and old, even when the
usual remedies have utterly failed.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. ky.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Ady.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
- sSNA,ILES
y g 81 81 81 9959S9a!|zZ', i
EMINiSCENCE.

There is no use of questioning my
possession of extraordinary and su
perior qualities said the orator who
tries not to underestimate himself
Are you sure the ability to draw
crowd is rign of intellectual su
periority?" asked Miss Cayenne.
of course"
We'll, maybe i. is. But / can re-
member when lot of us children
used to play hockey from school in
order to follow hand organ"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Not Hard to Make.

A homemade desk set, mounted in
MORE silk in green, brown or the col
or predominating in her bedroom, is
gift the schoolgirl would be delight
ed with. Sheets Of blotting paper
may be bought to match, and a pen
wiper and small blotter backed with
pieces of cardboard covered with the
silk and tied with narrow ribbon in
the same color.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Tables Turned.

81 caught burglar in my room last
night" said the village editor. What
did you do with him?" queried th@
landlord of the hotel. after holding
him up for dollar in payment for g
years subscription" answered the
knight of the scissors and paste pot,
Il let him get away"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Strictly Local Proposition.

Are you going to vote for big
havy?"
'Mebbe," replied the rural states
man shrewdly; that is, If you think
there's any chance of preparations to
deepen the crick in our county SOS
the battleships kin come an give the
folks look at EN-"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Cart BE Done.

The Wife-This paper says tina.
New York doctors have formed So
ciety to study methods for staying ths
advance of old age.
The Husband-Well, tell 'em you've
tried prevarication and reducing the
number of candles in your birthday
cakes, and neither will do it.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Deserving His Nickname.

Three days after the storm struck
Potlatch, Okla, Jackrabbit Smith, a
prominent citizen, was discovered two
counties northeast in somewhat
rumpled condition. Were you blown
here by the cyclone?" ne was asked.
Heck, MOI" he replied. Il outrun It'll"
Tho Argonaut.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
The Man Who Linqers.
He can't always
Get through the door,
Who stops and says:
well, just one more"
A Kindly FEELING,

"Why don't you join the campaign
to abolish billboards?"
For sentimental reasons"
'Impossible!"
Its the truth. When l was a boy
and played baseball with other boys
on vacant lot, billboard served us
passing well for a backstop.'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
The Resemblance.

"Blunderby has had number of
unfortunate matrimonial experience.
He has been married five times and
each wife nearly ruined him.
Yes, he reminds me of one of
those old-fashioned mustang ponies
that had to be broken every time it
was hitched up"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Refused to Listen.

Pardon me, sir" began the victim
of fate who was compelled to solicit
aims, as she approached the crusty old
bachelors desk, but l am a poor lone
widow, and"
Excuse me-" interrupted the heart
less old bachelor, but it is useless to
say more. This is not leap year."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
BIuebeard Explains.

The Interviewer-Why did you as
sassinate all your wives as soon as the
honeymoon was over?
Bluebeard-You see, I'd promised to
love each one as long as she lived and,
no matter what other sins I've com
mitted, l never disappoint lady"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
UnuratefuI Wretch,

I'm writing letter to Aunt Sarah"
said WHEY, thanking her for the visit
she paid us. Do you wish to add any
thing to it?"
you might thank her on my be-
half" replied hubby, "for not staying
any longer than she did"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Too Speedy for a Guaranty.

Joy Rider tstopped by rural con-
stable)-Haven't we got any right left
in this country? Doesn't the consti-
tuition guarantee us life, liberty and
the pursuit of happiness?
Constable-It don't guarantee no
man the pursuit of happiness at 80
miles an hour"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

did this lawyer offer you any en-
enlargement in your damage suit?"
Yes, but he didn't intend to-"
What do you mean by that?"
When ] told him how | was hurt
and offered to split $3.50 if he won the
case, could see by the way his ewes
sparkled that we stood good chance
to get the money"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
WjIItnu to Instruct.

Lady" said Flooding Pete, "do you
want any wood chopped?"
yes"
well. if you'll gimme my dinner I'll
hang around an give yer husband an
yer two grown sons an eloquent dis,
course on how wrong it is of 'em not
to turn in an do their duty"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

1T is easy to see how that broker
makes his profits
why SOP"
Don't you notice his wife always
wears watered silk"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
What She Learned.

Mrs. Willis-So your daughter is
home from domestic science school
l suppose she has learned several new
ways of washing the dishes.
Mrs. Gillis-No; she seems to have
learned several new ways of getting
out of washing them.-Judge,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Mother rundown.

Il have written my biography" said
the former politician, who had seen
better days-and perhaps better
nights. Would you be willing to ad-
vance me few dollars on it?"
Not on your life," reioincd the
heartless publisher.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
She Would Help.

will you marry me?"
81 understand that you once swore
never to marry?"
Il did, but / am ready to disregard
my OATH"
Don't do that. l am going to help
you to keep it."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
The Size of It.

Hubby-My dear Minnie when you
keep quiet you are the least Of my
troubles.
Wifie-What do you mean?
Hubby-Don't you see? Then you
are my Minnie mum.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Decorative.

Helper at Army Canteen-A tooth
brush? Certainly. Would you like
it hard or soft?
Jock-Bless you, ma am, I'm not go
ing to use it. It's only for kit inspec-
ton.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Proper Precaution.

why do you wear overshoes? 1t
isn't muddy"
mo. But I'm going to one of those
places of amusement where people
drop chewing gum on the floor"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

fore, in planning the homemade desk
shown in Fig. have made a special
feature of storage space.
Two grocery boxes of identical shape
and size must be secured for the desk.
Your grocer will likely give them to
yo'.. One box forms the desk portion,
the other the safe. Before fastening
the two boxes together it is best to
finish them. Make the desk pigeon
holes of thin box boards, cutting them
to fit as shown in Fig. l.
The box-cover boards should be bat
tened together with cross strips placed
near their ends, on the inside face, as
shown in Fig. 2; then this battened
cover should be hinged to the desk
box with pair of two-inch hinges
placed as shown in Figs. and 2, to
form the drop-leaf of the desk. Screw
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Delicate Topic,

81 understand you are going to talk
about this question of taxes"
YES" replied Senator Sorghum;
"I'm going to talk about it, using the
word about in the sense of around
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Unanimous.

II understand Reggie Van Boob has
gone on the stage in spite of the siren
uous objections of his family"
Eyes, but now that the public has
seen him, 1t has taken sides with the
family and he'll have to retire."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Her Excuse.

Observation-Disclosures paints and pow
ders to the limit.
Brunette-Yes. she comes from a
military family and believes in stand
ing by the colors.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Differentiation.

SIS your husband an optimism"
WELL" replied the tired-looking
woman; hes an optimist in hoping
for the best, but a good deal of a
pessimist in working for it,"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Refininu Influence.

do you think music exercises re-
fning intluence?"
Beyond doubt. The tune of my
family's favorite new song makes the
words seem almost proper
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Honest,

When see a cigar box hid
UP in the closet on the shelf,
I'm glad. The smokes that Molly buys
Are better than l buy myself.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

Edith-Miss Oldgirl says she has
Just reached the manageable age.
Marie-You don't say. l wonder
what delayed her.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

garded as a democratic triumph over
the nobility, who refused the common
ers the right to wear a sword.-Lon-
don Chronicle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
Handy to Borrow From.

The office girl supplants the boy,
The boy was not pet.
But now and then you miss him when
You want a cigarette.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

Porter. this berth has been slept
I'M" mo, sab; assuah you, sab.
Merely occupied. It's the one over
the wheels, sah."-Puck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06

Hubby-Pm going to ask for raise
in salary today.
Wifey-Do you expect to get it?
Hubby-Yes; in the neck, if not in
the pocketbook
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
WANTED

Butternut meats from this years
crop-five to ten pounds, more or less.
viii pay 75c per pound. Geo. A.
Joslyn, Omaha, Neb.-Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-01-06
And He Did, BY Gum!

Hub-I've got job in a glue fac
tory.
Wife-Good! l hope you will stick
there.-Boston Evening Transcript.