The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-10-29
- oMETIMEs Jimmy insists that the
conductor of a column of advice
grows In time to take life so seri-

YOU now about one adventure that was
different.
Now and then, after / have finished
reading my mornings mail find myself
wondering II there are any happy people
in the world! A little comic relief is
needed. One morning In July 1t was
furnished by no less n person than the
fatilady of a 'one ring circus
Nobody loves fat man" has come
to be a classic. To 1t might be added
nobody takes a fat woman seriously"
But. honestly. l couldn't take Cutie
Browns letter seriously. Can you?
Dear Miss Fairfax: 1 am the stout
lady Of travelling show. My fiance, the
dwarf, disappeared four days ago. Yes
terday he returned, but would give me
no explanation. Please write me at
Dryden, care the Fair Grounds.
CUTIE BROWN"
such a good. honest. refreshing laugh
as I had then! Cutie Brown and the
dwarf made q picture which gave mo
a great deal of honest amusement. And
1 decided to share that amusement with
Jimmy. who was going to share a lunch
table over at Blacks with me.
When got to the restaurant found
Jimmy engaged in conversation with
an elderly gray-haired man who looked
at once distinguished and kind. When
he was presented to me he proved TO
be the world famous r. c. Bitney;
owner of horses whose fame preceded
and added to their masters.
Mr.. Bitney had an agitated and I'M
happy air. such as no one ever expects
fronn multi-millionaires. He excused
himself hastily and went on. and II
took all my tact to keep my woman's
curiosity In allegiance and prevent me
from asking Jimmy what the gentle
mans troubles were, ,r,,u -. =.
ohoira tidhit. 0f hearts TO flavor the
luncheon" asked Jimmy,
And l gave him Cutie's letter as sauce
piQuante. He read the letter and had
exactly as good time he w stapn IT as ,auRb
ing and did a somersault In expressions
terminating in serious thought.
by Jove! This letter looks like tho
missing link In deteetiv i've story; story; him, linn
that two members of his stan are on
their way to Dryden"
when Jimmy returned. laughter was
again paramount, III give S s. you ar nen
critically. Were taking train at
Yes. sir. But II you're going to
drag me off without my demitasse
you might at least tell me why ana
read this. A newspaper was. ar
ranged neatly against the vase of flow
ers at my left, and I read these heaa-
r. c. Bitney's white, Stockings
Mysteriously Disappears
from Belmont
No Clue to the Theft of the
Thoroughbred"
wfite stockings Ii Known as the
epeediest Horse on Any Track.
Yes. Mr.. Barton. And now that l
have acquainted myself with the news
o. the racing world. will you please ase
on q IFS train for q destination nn-
Known? There are those who think
that an Adviser to the Lovelorn ought
20 tell how to get spots out OF chitton
waists and do up peach preserves. but
nobody has heretofore asked me to
restore lost horses to their loving own
sSwel, Watson. listen to your friend
Sherlock while he tells you the story y
D. Bitney. Bsa., told him. and then II
Won can't guess where you're going and
why. I suggest you resign your position
and so take a course in school OF
journalism" :, =
MT. Bitney had told Jimmy all he
Knew Of the theft of White Stockings.
The horse was kept In a specially con,
structed stall. whose door was opened
who had proven himself tried and trusty
siept in the stall w4th the thoroughbred
and In this boys pocket the keys were
kept .,. n,. aud III,
head stableman had found the boy In
the stall sleeping with the heavy uncon-
seriousness OF one who has been drug
ssd. The horse was gone.
leads US to the missing dwarf-the only
human being who could get through
that little window and steal the keys
''E,xactly." said Jimmy.
Back to Childhood. e
am sorry for the blase city indi-
vidua1 who docs not enjoy a country
fair.
Childhood came over me in a lonely
surge when Jimmy and I stepped of
the train at Dryden and loud-mouthed
Jehus shouted Justify: This way tc
the jitney for the fair grounds! Fiji.
teen cents for the full trip!
Jimmy wanted to hire n motor. But
what woman with vestige of ro'
nance in her heart would go to 8
country fair in an automobile?
Through the jostling, laughinI
crowd we pushed our way. Humanity
was all about us-and we were on oul
way to the freak tent"
This may be an assignment to you
Jimmy Barton, but it's like being &
kid again to me. l want to play Tn
a big girl again and pay my owl
dime. just as father let me when
was 'leven."
Jimmy laughed good-naturcdly anC
permitted me that one little fling.
laid down a shining 10-cent piece ant
we entered the abode which once hao
left me SO breathless, The place wa
= dedicated to amazing beings such a
dog-faced boys, and living skeletons
and. snake eaters, and dwarfs, al
mingled in conglomeratiOn tina
looked a little bit Ike Grimms Fair,
Tales come to life.
At one end of the tent a crowd wa.
gathered about platform on which "a
young woman OF pendulous flesh ant
tremendous girth. II this had not beef
= day when ] declined to deliver Fair
fax lecture even to myself, / might hav,
been sorry for the ungainly creatur,
who seemed to have little more thar
the semblance OF humanity. I could no
help noticing, however, that the ia
lady" looked unhappy.
Jimmy and ] pushed through tn
crowd and spoke to the tragic noun,
- flesh. When I identified myself h,
means OF her letter she came enthusi
astically 20 the edge Of the rope an,
shook hands with n ponderous fore
which fairly paralyzed my fingers.
And then, in n soft, GREATNESS voice
which was Cutie Browns one charm
Ii. ,Nlyn