The Monticellonian., 1916-11-16

l sensible girl and marry her. Aud as the young man concluded this desper- ate avowal he jerked the bow of his cravat into a hard knot. kicked his hat under the bed, and threw himself on the sofa like an old suit.
 John stared at him with absolute compassion. Poor devil" he said half musingly, "I know just how he feels Ring Tn the wind his wedding chimes
 Smile. villagers, at every door;
 Old ehurchyards stuffed with buried
 crimes,
 Be clad in sunshine OCT and o'er.-
 "Oh. herer exclaimed the wretched Bert. jumping 10 his feet: "let up on that dismal reeitative. II would make dog howl to hear that."
 Then you let up on that suicidal talk of marrying" replied John. and all that haraneae of ineoherency about your growing old. Why my dear fel- low. you're at least q dozen years my junior and look at met and John glanced at himself in the glass with feeble pride. noting the gray sparse ness of his side-hair, and its plantive dearth on top. "Of course I've got 10 admit" he continued, that my hair k gradually evaporatng; but for all that, I'm still in the ring don't you know; as young in society, for the matter of that, as yourselfi And this is just the reason why I don't want you to blight every prospect in your life by marry ing at your age-especially a woman l mean the kind of woman you'd be sure to fancy at your age"
 "Didn't l SHY Il good sensible girl was the kind l had seleetedY' Bert re mOnstrated.
 "Oh,e exclaimed John, you've SC lected her, then?-and without one word to me" he ended, rebukingly.
 Well, hang 1t all !" said Bert im- patiently: T knew how you were, and just how you'd talk me cut of it; and made up my mind that for once, nj least. I'd follow the dictatious of Il heart that-however eapricious ill youthful rivoities-should beat. in manhood, loyal to itself and loyal to its own affinity
 "Go il! Fire away Farewell, vain world!" exclaimed the excited John. "Trade your soul eff for il pair of ear bobs and buttonhook-a hank of jute hair and box of lilY-whitei Ive buried not less than ten old chums this way, and heres another nominated for the t6mb."
 But you've got no reason about you.e began Bert. T want to"
 And SD de I want te, . broke in John finally, T want to get some sleep. So register and come to bed. And lie up on edge, too, when you do come cause this old catafaldue-of-a-bed k just about as narrow as your views of single blessedness, Peaeel Not all other word Pile in! Pile in I'm three-parts sick, anyhow. and want rest !' And very truly he spoke.
 It was bright morning when the slothful John was aroused by long Vociferous pounding on the door. He started up in bed to find himself alone the victim of his wrathful irony hay ing evidently risen and fled away while his pitiless tormentor slept "Doubtless to accomplish at once that nefarious intent as set forth by his unblushing confession of last night" unused the miserable John. And he ground his fingers in the corners of his swollen eyes, and leered grimly in the glass at the feverish orbs, blood-shot, blurred and aching.
 The pounding on the doar continued John looked at his watch it was only eight o'clock.
 Hi. theret he called vicously. What do you mean. anyhow?s he went on, elevating his voice again; shaking man out of bed when he's just dropping Into his first slecp?1
 T mean that you're going to | i up that's what" replied firm female voice. Its eight o'clock, and want to put your room in order; and I'm not going to wait all day about it. either. Get up and go down to your breakfast, and let me have the room = And the clamor at the door was in- dustriously renewed.
 Say" called John querulously, hur- ryins on his clothes, Say youn
 There's no say about it." re Sponded the determined voice; I've heard about you and your ways around this house, and I'm not going to put up with il! You'll not lie in bed till high noon when Eve got to keep your room in proper order,"
 "0h, ho,' bawled John intelligently: reckon you're the new invasion here? Doubtless you're that girl that's been hanging up the new window blinds that won't roll. and dsguising the pill lows with clean slips and hennn round among my books and papers on the table here. and aging me gener- ally till I don't know my own hand writing by the time I find it, oh. yes. you're going to revolutionize things here you're going to introduce promptness, and system, and order See you've even filled the wash pitcher and tucked two new starehed towels through the handle. Haven't got any tin towels, have you? rather like this new soap, tool So solid and dura- ble, you know warranted not to raise a lather. Might as well wash ones hands with door-knob :"
 And as Johns voice grumbled away into the sullen silence again, the de- termined voice without responded: "Oh, you can growl away to your hearts content, Mir. Mckinney, but I want you to understand distinctly that I'm not going to humor you in any of