Charlevoix county herald., 1916-07-28
EBERT BEDE SAYS

It's easy for man to get married if
he doesn't want to.
If you have a skeleton in your closet
get busy and nail it up.
A glass Of liquor is the toper's spir-
itual comfort.
A statesman is politician who gets
reelected.
Some women's ideas of foolishness is
to dress sensibly.
The greatest event in a hens life is
merely an egg and cackle.
A wise bride borrows her mother-in-
laws cook book.
The spinster always says it is mis-
take to marry too young.
One way to make friends-keep your
advice to yourself.
The supply of common sense never
exceeds the demand
Two lovers can make street car full
of people awfully seasick.
To acquire wealth is difficult, to keep
it is more difficult and to spend it wise
ly is most difficult.
II you draw too much on the future
you may find your new leaf all marked
up before you turn it.
When it rains pitchforks il may be
just to help the farmer with his hay.
In life's harmony, woman insists on
playing first fiddle or busting up the
orchestra.
The smile that won't come off doesn't
amount to much. It's the smile that
you pass around that gets the candy
these days.
IT you are honest in your convictions
and have the backbone to stay with
them, your strongest friends will some
times be erstwhlle enemies.
A grass widow shouldn't effect
weeds.
When mans faith in anything is
judgment for picking a good invest
ment. When things turn out badly, he
says he just took a chance.
Probably large majority of men get
more satisfaction out of winning bluff
than ON full hand.
By new system of dieting food is
measured by the cubic inch-probably
to make the patient believe he is getting
square meal
When girl asks man to teach her
how to swim he might as we'll make up
his mind to support her.
When man gets to considering how
he wasted language during his court
ship days he makes up his mind to con-
serve words around the house.
A man will tell how some woman
flirted with him just as if he wasn't
equally guilty.
If man can't propose to his sweet
heart without getting nervous and ex-
cited, he isn't well enough acquainted
with her yet to think of marrying her.
Woman smiles and says nothing as
man expatiates upon the superiority of
the male over the female-that's the
way the woman proves her superiority.
A Chicago man got put in jail thirty
days for kissing a girl. Why ssch dis
elimination? Many of us get life
term for the same offense.
You may accuse a woman of being
immodestly fashionable, but you can't
catch her with the goods on. That may
be the reason you accuse her.
American soldiers might protest that
they did not enlist to do marathon
through the Mexican mountains after a
mosquito army.
The honor system may sometimes be
failure in prison but it would be
good thing for those outside to practice
on.
A noted preacher has said that the
lower the collar you wear the longer
you will live. Now we know why
women never get past %.
An exchange says that gentlemen will
look the other way when woman in
tight skirt boards street car or steps
up high step. Some men would rather
not be considered gentlemen than to
miss anything
The allies might be expected to vary
from the truth in their war dispatches,
but the Teuons have no such excuses.
The greatest waste of time We can
think of would be to 90 to counterfeit
ing Mexican money.
The Warwicks, Colonels Bryan and
Roosevelt, may both be out of a job. this
year.
Sometimes when we hear man braQ-
ging about being self made, we think
how nice it is to have such handy ex-
cuse.