Charlevoix county herald., 1916-10-12
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Pltiless Publicity.

|
differ. The Harp that wanst through
Trenton's halls'-I name Tumulty.
Whln he bursts into song now he picks
his chunel
'Tis not that Prisidint Wilson Is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pitiless. IT'S like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
tn illyfant, but he has mntal res'va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 IL is wild Wilson. He's sof'ned
the hard heart Nv 'Pitiless Publicity
| How about the PostmastersT axes
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell ye,'
says the C'mlshun. For why?' says
the League. 'T'wid embar'ss tn Ad-
minsthrashun,' says the Cmishun.
And the people laughs 'Ye fired tn
Hid iv the Cinsus. says Hughes. 'Ye
lle,' says Redfeld. He raysined wild
out bein' axed.' says he. 'Ye lie yer
self says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an We gev me place to II
politician says Durand. Txac'ly fwhat
said yells Pink Whiskers, 4 was
soin' to fire ye anyway, but | niver
axed ye To raysine.' says Pinky. An
The people roars.
"'rell us about all thin Dishurvin'
| Diminycrats,' says the people. An
| Washin'ton is sweep be storm Nv
silence.
| But doant we think there's no pub
licity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet, too.
| "We'H grab some land In vinzu-
eely, says the Ambassydure.
temprily,' says he. Yen not says
Teddy, yen agree to arbitrate,' says
be there, says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
STINT, says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, III sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. We
| agree says he,-an' divil bit did we
| know how 1T was for dozen year.
wen have Ferdy Carey alive. or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says On demand iv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
"How is 1t now? The greasers
slaughtered twinty at Sanity Isabel. An
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines. Twinty Americans killed. they
says. The Prisidint Calm says they.
'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays Goluf,'
says the headlines. An the paper
| goes on:
| 1.-The Prisidint's appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader iv the ma
shun gettin' outside iv' grape fruit,
bacon an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin Docther Grayson announced the
bill Nv fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
1.-The Prisidint is solvin' In privacy
the Hateful question, "Will me throat
last?" The answer is waited wild few
erish anxiety
| "Mondah, the papers says 'Nashun-
al Disaster? Sore Throat Feared, Pan
ic at the Capital. The Prisdint Calm.
| CONSERVATION was spread among
all classes today be the report that
| the Prisidnt awoke with a sore throat.
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
| talk iv appintin' a day iv prayer. 1t
is hoped that Senior Are ye-on-though
| will claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ixicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
| The Prisidint made but wan remark
"Av they'd not been there they'd not
| iv been kilt"
| "Choosdah, they says, Hope revives.
| No sore throat. Bitten by insect.
Prisidint calm. All Phrases Nv Mat
Their to be considered.
"'The anxiety In the Capital was re-
aved today be the followin' bulletin:
"'"The Prisidint has a slight per-
foration in the cuticle over the nfery-
ure maximary caused by insect bitin'
him whin asleep. The patient was too
proud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson."
at is reported also that Gineral
Scott will go to the border to bury the
dead, and apologize to the insurgents.
He will axe Carranzy, whether he wud
accept a loan If offered. This is con-
sidered the thrue sutton Nv the diff
Guilty.
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in, Thursdah he writes note and
Gneral Scott starts for the border.
Fridah the headlines says Peace in
Europe near. Prisidint studyin' terms.
VIII he stop the war? Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
"But we're comforted be bein' towld
the Prisldint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah, he's conslderln' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he ad-
vises Grandmothers about suckin'
| eggs. And another crisis Is past.
$50 1t goes ivry day. As l was say
in, there's a'plenty publicity, but tbs
not the brand iv 1872"