The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-07-21

quit for this time:
There was young fellow from
Topeka.
Who said he'd take nothing but
patrika
On his first course of meat
He was trying to eat;
He got red pepper and never went
back to Topeka.
Clarence Seward died the sweetest
lungs fill with water, the heart
ceases to force prepared blood through
! the brain, visions of beauty chase each
other through the mind in solemn and
slow procession, completing each pic
ture to its very farthest detail and
finish, music oozes in through trees
in which birds in gorgeous hues sit
in glad array singing the most strange
and unspeakable songs, huge and
pleasant creatures pass to and fro in
friendly manner with treads so soft
it does not reach the enraptured ears
forgetting is perfect. and the past has
already died out of memory while the
pleasant looms up like a rainbow OF
spheres. Where there was noise be-
fore, now there is perfect silence, and
such silence as it isl A great phono-
graph plays innumerable pieces, all
distinct and each Turing the drowning
on to his peaceful end, from which he
has no desire to retreat, and yet there
is no sound. Circles of radiance form
and fill with tremendous scenes of de-
light, while marshal music drifts from
marine band somewhere, and soft
yellow gives way to brilliant and pur-
pie twilight, while the sun sets. Far
away there is heard the call of some
thing mysterious but not dreadful, and
its approach has no terrors, for ii
is but part of the panorama, and the
drowning knows no pain. The spirit
appears to have consorted with the
soul to open paradise to receive its in
habitor, and the drowning wishes that
friends might drown too. So died
Clarence. Of course he first had a
wish to speak once again with the
folks, to once again see them. once
more wave farewell like he did on
some youthful journey, but impelled
onward to rapture that passeth all mis-
understanding, his desires were lost
in the mysterious experiences filling
thrilling his mortal body as the angles
waited near to do the job for which
they are always selected. Sweet peace
that come through drowning-if that
drowning be accidental The Hired
Man sees victory in death like this
one.
will the Hired Man please tell us
what a Nag isl" Answer: If you are
single man, myanswer would be this
A Nag is ratheh a poor kind OF
horse or mule. A driving or riding
horse or mule that is half lazy and
half no account otherwise. One you
don't blanket when it is cold and one
YOU don't give much oats to when you
work him and one you don't expect
to get much work out of. If you are
married and are really trying to settle
something that keeps coming up at
home, l would say that a Nag is a
wife that would get off in one day vo-
cal literary matter whose concentrates
will amount to about as much as the
rest of this paragraph, and of the
same sort" "If you don't keep the
door shut, how do you expect me to
keep the flies out? If you don't quit
spilling peach juice on the shelves the
ants are going to eat us up. If you
would not buy so many cigars, |
could have new rug. If you would
hang your hat up, you could find it.
If lou would smile as much at me as
you do at that huzzy down the street
you would get better home treatment.
If you was as polite as you once were.
would admire you just as much as
before. Don't be eternally going to
he'd with sI1I 4 Il,
as soon as | can, but no woman ever
back. Hang the. one up you aren't 60
ing to wear, for goodness sake! II
that was me, you would have fit.
If | did anything like that the devil
would be to pay and the money to
borrow Yes, she is pretty. but o my,
how slomacky. We had been married
just fifteen months | have you know
when Jean was born. Other men eat
cold dinners and keep still about it.
She paid four times as much for that
than you allow me to pay for mine,
boo-boo-boo-boo. You would have
a jimmy faint if I'd dress like that
You'll eat them scorched or get none,
that's all there is to it. Whose photo
is that in your vest? will never make
over another thing for one of the
children. You can just cuss all you
feel like, but its going to be this way
assure you. If you leave books lay
ing all around. how can | keep this
house looking like anything? l don't
care if every tot we have hears me, l
am going to have my say out" Now,
of course there is much more material
used every day by the real Nag, but l
have shown only the residue here,
the other was lost in panning.
I'VE are young married folks, and
our baby, now ten months old, is a
great big clustering fellow, tumbles
down thousand times day, is just
like his dad, toes in considerably and
frowns moer that he ought to. Can you
give us. a suitable manner" Yes, the
Hired Man would call him Awful
Awkward Algeron.
The other day in nearby town the
preacher read question that had been
put on his pulpit, "can a man get out
of hell after he has once got there? ?"
The preacher ancwarad II h., viz N