davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
sHINeLINe HIS OWN ROOF.

Chaplain McCabe once told tie
story of a drinking man, who, being
in saloon late at night, heard the
wife of the saloonkeeper say to her
husband:
Send that fellow home; it's late"
mo, never mind" replied the hus-
hand, "he is shingling our house for
U.S."
The idea lodged in the mind of the
drunkard, and he did not return to
the saloon for six months. When
Passing the saloonkeeper on the
street, the latter said:
"Wny don't you come round to my
place any more?"
Thank you for your kind hospi-
tality," replied the former victim,
I've been shingling my own roof
lately"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Chimney Periscope,

The men in the fireroom of a fac
tory cannot always tell, without going
outside to look, whether the chimney
is smoking, and this is important,
ing the coal, and also to enable them
to conform with smoke regulations.
A writer in Power suggests placing a
mirror outside the building and set
ting it at such an angle that the men,
looking out of the window, can see
the reflection OF the top of the stack
in the mirror In some cases where
one mirror cannot be properly To-
Gated, two might be used for the pur-
pose.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Had NOTHING on Him.

An anemic elderly woman, who
looked as if she might have as much
maternal affection as an incubator,
sized up a broadshouldered cockney
who was idly looking into window on
the Strand, and in a rasping voice said
to him:
my good man, why aren't you in
the trenches? Aren't you willing to
dc anything for, your country?"
Turning around slowly, he looked at
her a second and replied contemptu-
ously: Move on, you Stacker! Where's
your war y!"-Exchange
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound would cure it. 1t helped both
the Change of Life and the tumor and
when / got home did not need the doctor.
I took the Pinkham remedies until the
tumor was gone, the doctor said, and I
have not felt it since. I tell every one
how / was cured. If this letter will
help others you are welcome to use it. !"
Mrs. E. H. BEAN, 525 Joseph Avenue,
Nashville, Tenn.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, pure remedy containing the
extractive properties of good old fash
toned roots and herbs, meets the needs
of woman's system at this critical period
of her life. Try it.
If there is any symptom In your
case which puzzles you, write to
the Lydia e. Pinkham Medicine
Co., Lynn, Mass.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
PROHIBITION GOVERNORS.

Each of the seven states which out
1awed the liquor traffic January / is
fortunate in having a governor who
is heartily in favor of prohibition and
will uphold the law.
Governor Carlson of Colorado says
he will enforce it even to the extent
of calling upon the state militia. Gov
ernor Lester of Washington urges an
appropriation of $4,000 to be used
In enforcement. Governor Witty
combe of Oregon expresses confidence
that an overwhelming majority of the
citizens of the state mean to see that
the provisions of the law are lived up
to and that they may count upon his
help to the utmost. Governor Alex
ander's vigorous championship of the
statutory prohibition law Of Idaho is
we'll known, and his personal influence
was used to secure the referendum on
the constitutional amendment to be
taken next November.
When Governor Hay of Arkansas
signed the prohibition bill, he said: 81
believe the most manly act of my life,
an act that will mean much to me, to
my conscience, to my wife, to my two
little boys, and to the people of the
state to which owe so much, was the
act performed when placed my sig
nature to the bill which gave Arkansas
statewide prohibition"
The attitude of Governor Clarke of
Iowa is indicated by his remarks when
he signed the measure repeating the
mulct law and putting into effect state
wide prohibition: 1.-THE Punishment Of
the saloon ought to mean the emanci-
patton of many a laporIng man, the
joy of the wife in his home, better
conditions and better outlook on life
for his child"
South Cardinals governor in his
New Years greeting declared that,
with the help of God and the sup
port of the people the prohibition law
shall be rigidly enforced SO long as
l am governor"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Alcoholics Wine New PronhyIactic.

Dealcoholized wine is described in
L'Italia Agricola as new product Of
the wine industry This beverage 10
quite different from unfermented
grape juice. 1t is made from ordinary
wine, and contains all the components
of the latter except alcohol, including
the others and aldebydes to which its
pleasant taste and stimulating prop
critics are due. 1t also contains the
same acids, and especially fannie acid,
which has been found to exercise a
protective action against the germs
of cholera and typhus.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
RUSSIA is PRESSING.

If America is to lead the van of civ.
llization into the promised land of pro-
hibition, she must make haste. Auto
cratic Russia has shouldered her out
of the front rank, and it is high time
for the voice of the people to speak
to speak overwhelmingly, and to speak
where the voice of the people is heard.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

There's longer the slightest need of
feeling ashamed of your freckles as the
prescription othine-double Strengths
guaranteed to remove these homely spots.
Simply get of othlne-double
strength-from your druggist. and apply
little of it night and morning and you
should soon that even the worst freckles
have begun to disappear. while the lighter
ones have vanished entirely. 1t is seldom
that more than one ounce is needed to com
pletey clear the skin and gain a beautiful
clear complexion.
Be to ask for the double strength
othine. this is sold under guarantee OF
Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
FARMERS APPROVE.

The Nebraska farmers congress
went on record in favor of prohibition
at a meeting in Omaha, December 8.
After a heated debate, a resolution
for prohibition was drawn to replace
one submitted by the resolutions COM
mittee opposing prohibition. The
amended resolution was adopted by a
vote of So to 7.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

UdIIy pfUDIbm LndC
the mothers have
given it thought,
five m o t h 9 r 9
agreed to pack the
lunch for the Eve
one day a week.
This gave tn 9
rnnfharn tho rolinR
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
WHY THE SCREENS?

saloons invariably opposed to the re-
moval of screens from these places of
business? A man does not object to
being seen in grocery or in dry
goods store-why, if the dramshop is
IL good thing in the community, is he
ashamed to be seen in a saloon?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
PROSPERITY IN KokoMo.

Kokomo, a dry city of Indiana, is
having the most prosperous times in
its history. No empty buildings, and
such a demand for homes that the
business men have arranged to build
at least two hundred at once. Four
of the biggest firms agree to erect 25
houses each.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
a Just Tribute,

why did Wombat leave his money
to found a home for servant girls?"
well, you know he was a manufac-
turer of fine china. And he always
said the girls did lot for his bust
ness"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
He Was Roped In,

Mary understand Hazel has taken
advantage of her leap-year prerogative
and captured husband.
Aimee don't think leap year had
anything to do with it. You see she
spent six weeks in Texas last summer
and learned to manipulate the lasso.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Il wonder what the house wreckers
do with all the old bricks when they
tear a house down"
Il imagine they sell them to the
moving picture concerns that spe-
cialize in comedy films"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Crawford-"Does your wife prepare
you better dinners since she's taken
up the cooking fad?" Crabshaw-"I
can't say she does. 1t looks like a
case of out of the frying pan into the
chatting dish.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

VIII cause It tine fernJ
to grow like magic.
A few drops of turpen-
tine, four, or five, on a
lump of sugar when one
feels a cold coming on
will surely dispel it.
A small drawer made
to fit under the seat of
a sewing chair is a won
derful convenience to
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

NOR as large as q
child's head. The
doctor said it was
three years coming
and gave me medi-
cine for it until I
was called away
from the city for
| 8 ON g time. Of
course I could not
go to him then. so
my sister-in-law told
me that she f,hoiIohf
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Milburn pharmacal Co., Baldwin, N. Y.

Gentlemen: For the past three years have
been using your Benzomint, for sore throat
and tonsillitis and find it better than anything
the doctors have given me. A dose or two
usually curing the children of sore throat
Without the services of doctor. ! always
keep bottle In the house. Mrs. @. P. Buck
ley, Baldwin, N. Y. Your local druggist
will get it for you.-Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Children who are delicate, feverish and cross
will get immediate relief from Mother Grayts
Sweet Powders for Children. They cleanse the
stomach, act on the liver, and are recommends ed
for complaining children. A pleasant remedy
Tor worms. Used by mothers for 28 years. All
Druggists, Csc. Sample FREE Address, Mother
Gray Co., LIE Roy, N, Y,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Shelf I'd known you'd be such
a brute to poor Fido I'd never have
married you" He-"The anticipated
pleasure of kicking that miserable lit
tie beast was one of my chief reasons
for proposing. STRAY Stories.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
DECREASE oE CONNECTS.

"Convicts in the Washington state
penitentiary, Of whom there are now
1872, will number not more than 400
after year or two under the pro-
hibition law" says H. W. Cochran, a
member of the state board of control.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
COST oE SALOONS.

Testifying before the Chicago NUM-
cipal commission which is studying
the liquor problem. Mr.. John A. Shields
pointed out that the city pays $97.
for every $3.50 it receives from saloon
licenses.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Truth Will Out,

Bill--She's one girl who's fond OF
me.
Fred-How do you know?
BILL saw it in-I mean on-heI
face.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
ALIENS FooT-EAsE FOR THE

Many war zone hospitals have ordered
Aliens Foot-Ease. the antiseptic powder,
for use among the troops. Shaken into
the shoes and used in the foot-bath,
Aliens Foot-E Ease gives rest and comfort
and makes walking a delight. Sold every
where. 25c. Try 1t today. Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Cause of Ill Humor.

Ill humor arises from an inward con-
sciousness of our own want of merit.
from a discomfort which ever accom-
panies that envy which foolish vanity
engend ars.-Goethe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
EFFICIENT PROHIBITION.

1t was Milwaukee mayor who
said: Il am opposed to prohibition
because it prohibits
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
'Tisn't Done Any More.

why dc you disparage my humor?
Shakespeare INDUCED in numerous
puns."
"Sc he did. And did you ever see a
typical Broadway audience trying to
get laugh out of Shakespeare"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
One of the
Best Countries
! Ever Saw.

saw; its banking system is better than
that of the United States; one quarter
section own, with about 100000
worth of improvements, pays $500 a
year taxes. All tax is on the land; i'm
plements and personals are not taxed.
I was secretary-treasurer of Aspelund
school district for two years. My du-
ties were to assess all the land in the
district, collect the tax, expend it ($1,-
100000 year,, hire teacher, ETC., for
the sum of $500 year. Some econ
omy, Ell!
"All school and road taxes are ex-
pended in the districts where they are
collected. There are no other taxes.
Land titles are guaranteed by the gov
eminent and an abstract costs fifty
cents. Half of the population of AL
berta are Americans or from Eastern
Canada. (Sgd) WILL TRUCKEN-
MILLER" Advertisement.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
A Willing Giver.

'"And you" she said to the bachelor
who hci Numbered into the charity
bazaar, you'll have to pay double"
"Why?"
Because you're bachelor"
That's all right" he drawled; Its
worth it."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
The Neglected Vocation.

MY daughter writes beautiful poe
try"
Dear me, dear me-" sighed the man,
and the world so hungry for good
COOKS
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

1t is better to make a thousand mis-
takes, and suffer a thousand reverses
than to run away from the battle
Henry Van Dyke.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Not ENOUGH.

How much is he making?"
Between motorcycle and car.
Bulletin.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Even when woman can speak with
her eyes her tongue doesn't give them
chance.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

from the monotonous task and the
children change of food. 1t was
pleasant all around This is an idea
which might be used in many places
where children need to carry lunches.
Custards, when well baked, make a
most desirable food. With sandwich
and few nuts and an apple, this will
prove a most satisfying meal.
Paper napkins are SO inexpensive
that one should keep a supply on hand
to use for lining the box or basket
and for napkins. Each sandwich.
pickle, egg or piece of cake should be
wrapped carefully. Brown bread, rye,
bran. cornmeal and baking powder
biscuits will furnish variety. A little
pleasing to child. A piece of candy,
fig or date, hidden away in a cor
ner will always delight them.
Peanut butter is enjoyed (when not
made too common) as sandwich fill
ing. There are so many kinds of salad
filings that there need never be one
used too often to tire of 1t.
Brown bread spread with butter and
well seasoned cottage cheese in which
bit of onion juice is placed for sea.
soning, and tablespoonful of chopped
nuts is another good filling.
Candy, of course, is always liked by
the little people, but should be used
sparingly. A piece of candy eaten
after each meal will not be undesir-
able, but fig or date will satisfy the
sweet tooth and be much more whole
some.
Dates, nuts and a little cream mixed
together, the ingredients chopped fine
before adding the cream, makes a
most dainty sandwich.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Very Much So.

Gould you select something breezy
for the decorations of the party?"
why not try windflowers?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Secretary of Labor Wilson began
his career in the coal mines of Penn
sylvania.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Natural Ability,

How this patient does keep up!"
of course he does. He's an avia
tor"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Opinions,

Rich man-Poverty is no disgrace.
Poor Man-No. but that's about all
the good you can say for it.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

Over 15O,OOO,O00 people now speak
the English language
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
THINGS WORTH KNOWING.

Those who have tried it say that an
oyster buried near the root of a fern
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
THE SCHOOL LUNCH.

In one neighborhood where the
packing of lunches has become such
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
CorrohoratIve Evidence

History repeats itself, they say. -
Yes. These war films all look
much alike to me-"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

The king of Spain has an annual in
come of $1,409,000.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
HOW MRS. Bean
met The CRISIS
Carried Safely Through Change
of Life by Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.

Nashville, Tenn.-'fWhen was going
through the Change of Life had tu-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
THlEz.kIElSHEN
GG62AlB[NED

The place to be happy is here, the
time to be happy Is now, the way to
be happy is to help make others so.-
Ingersoll.
Praise loudly; blame softly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Crashl

Crashl
whats the racket over at Bobb's?"
Sounds like they are having
china shower"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Oats
115 Bushels
Per Acre.

| ITO BUSHELS GIL Sonoud "iAtIoh
Per Acre. by Walter Gloedeu,
who is renewing
his subscription to his home paper:
"The times we are having up here
are very good in spite of the war. I
have had very good crops this fall
and we are having very good markets
for it all. Wheat went from 30 to 60
bu. to the acre, oats from 80 to 100 blu.
to the acre. / had an 18-acre field of
oats which yielded me 115 bu. per acre
by machine measure, SO / think this
Is pretty prosperous country. I
have purchased another quarter sec
ton, which makes me now the owner
Of three-quarters of a section of
land. The weather was very nice this
fall up to Christmas, then we had quite
severe weather, but at the present
time 1t is very nice again"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

A hot foot bath with
JOHNS0N'S FOOT SOAP

will relieve them at once and make life worth
living. The safe and sure remedy composed of
the old and reliab BILE ingredients-Borax, Iodine,
and Bran. Csc per cake at first class druggists
or sent prepaid on receipt of the price by the
manufacturers. THOMAS GILL SOAP CO..
711-717 Kent Ave-, Brooklyn, N. Y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

why not do something for your Corns,
Callouses, Bunions, and Aching, Tired,
Tender, Sweaty, Swollen
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13

1t amt never no use putin up your
umbrella till it rains.-Mrs. Wigs.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
Write for Free Book
The Mystery of the Lost Woman'
and Free Color Scheme Cards
Special Stencil Offer

stencils are for border designs In the regular way they
would cost you from Soc 81 90 each Our free book tells
you now you can get stencils for your practically free
charge Our Color Scheme Cards suggest eoois that
namonze Tor your rooms You should have our free book
ana our free Color Scheme Cards Write for them Today
Address -'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1916-04-13
SOME WESTERN CANADA
GRAIN REPORTS

In its issue of February oath, 1916,
the Wadena (Minn.) Pioneer Journal
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-01-07

l was awakened by crash and
opened my eyes, to see the door
panel splintered and then Dicks
hand reach through and turn the
lock.
The sun was streaming in my
windows, SO l knew 1t was early
afternoon. Surely. my little tab
let had done the work." I
thought lazily, and then the sig
nificance of the crashing door
dawned on me as Dick strobe
over to the bed.
"Margie, Margie!" he exclaim-
ed as he violently took me in his
arms, almost shutting out my
breath. Then his eye caught the
bottle at my bedside.
you haven't taken them?" he
asked in horror, and before ]
could answer, for my brain was
still stupid with the narcotic, he
rushed to the telephone.
l knew by the number he asked
for that he was calling up DR.. At
water.
Don't do that, Dick. I'm all
right"
But we could not get Into your
room, and you are dead with sleep
this minute. Get up and we'll give
you cold shower and then we'll
take brisk walk"
You'll do nothing of the kind
Dick Waverly, and | want you to
call up DIR. Atwater again and tell
him ! don't need him?"
But, Margie!" expostulated
Dick.
IL only took one tablet be-
cause"-and then IL all came to
me why | took the tablet: Mollie's
wedding and the letter.
| heard Dicks sigh of relief as
he said. 81 did not think you had
done this terrible thing but you
would not wake up and what
could | think?"
why should you think | would
want to kill myself?"
Dick hung his head. 70 3
"Pll tell you right here that
do not intend to kill myself, but I
like you, wanted to stop thinking
for little while. You accom-
plished your purpose by drinking
a great quantity of liquor and
making somewhat of a spectacle
of yourself at your sisters we'd
ding and I took just one of these
little white tablets, and in tfie
privacy of my own room went &c
sleep" -
But you might never t1ye
awakened again. said Dick 4
trembling voice.
after the first shock perl q
you would be glad" -
"Margie! You must not u
like that. You know / only l0et
you"
But what of that Other
woman"
There is no other woman in
my heart, Margfe."
mo other women In your life7''
Dick hesitated and then spoke.
PLENTY OF them, but there ia
safety in numbers"
We'll. Dick, you must now
choose. II You want me and re-
spectability more than you want
Eleanor FairIow and the rest YOU
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-01-07
must choose ma-alona.

must choose me-alone.
II want to tell you that you
will probably be sorry either way
you make.your choice. The Mar
gle Waverly that you may choose
is very different from the girl
who flung herself into your arms
so gladly, saying, / want to be-
long to you. Never again shall
belong to you, never again, no
matter how much | shall long to
do so, can / belong to you. You
have taken something from me-
faith, a love and trust-and de-
liberately thrown it away"
You are my wife, Margie."
Eyes, l know I am your wife,
but after all while the word
wife has a certain sullen signif-
icance it becomes meaningless to
me-from now on--as anything
sacred or even honored."
Dick held up his hand as If to
ward off my words.
why shall I not say this, Dick?
And l want you to understand
that l mean every word of 1t.
am not iii or tired as you like to
deceive yourself into thinking |
am when I say things you do not
like. want you to know that
IL you choose me you will not have
the woman you married. You
will only have name and the
conventional shell of a wife,"
"Margie! Margie! l can't let
you go. Stay with me on any
terms-I'll do anything. You
may fix this matter up in your
own way-if you wills only stay
with me. I'll make you love me
again."
II wish to God you could, Dick.
If you could give me back the
something that made me trust
you--trust life-trust humanity
I'D bless you and love you to
the end of your days"
Dick groaned, and then he
again asked, What are you going
to do?"
| Ito be continued.)