El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-05-04
SUNNY SIDE Of
LIFE, THE BEST
Beauchamp Philosophers,
Roasts and Advises; Has
Sharp Tongue.


mel don't mean that I love to have
her 20 feet from me; / mean that Z
love her and she is now sitting 20 feet
from me- A man getting paid as much
as 1 am getting for this lecture should
use good English, shouldn't he?
"This reminds me Of the fellow in
Chicago who said he loved a girl on
the west side"
This is the way Lou Beauchamp. IA
nous raconteur, lecturer, editor and
traveller, caught his audience in his
opening remarks before the Fl Paso
chautauqua Wednesday night, and. as
he started them off laughing. he kept
them at it throughout the evening.
Beauchamp is former editor Of the
Cincinnati Star, and is called the dean
of the American lecture platform. He
has Travelled a million miles and lee
tured in every country on the globe
His talk was full Of philosophy.
sharp 1ibes at the frailties OF life and
at the laxity of American customs, and
was punctuated with funny stories.
Natives of Australia.
At went to a vaudeville performance
in Chicago the other day and saw a
man introducing two performing apes.
! 'These. ladies and gentlemen, are ma
! tives of Australia. he said to the au-
! dfence. An Irishman, sitting down in
| front exclaimed: Holy smoke, my
sister married one OF them.
A few more like this and he was
| then ready to launch into his lecture
/ on THE Sunny side OF Lie and ne
! talked not only Of the sunny things
| but of the disagreeable ones.
| ..Never let anything trouble you that
Won can help or that you can't help
/ he said IF il is something you cant
| helm. then il is Gods will; IL il is some
thing you can help, then it's up to you
who Visits the Sick:
"Who are visiting the sick these
I davs-the Methodists, the Baptists, tbs
| Episcopalians, the Presbyterians2 No
| they are too busy playing bridge
, pinochle and stuff The Elks. the Ode
! Fellows and the Masons are visiting
I the sick.
sThe Bible says that the sins Of tn
! fathers are visited upon the sons ever
to the third and fourth generations
Lord what n race of gamblers we MAJ
| expect in the next generation. Tn
hot blood Of chance has always flowe'
in the veins Of the fathers. Now 1T d
flowing in the veins Of the mothers
who play cards for cut glass bowls an
Why Men Don't Attend Church.
"Whv don't more men go to church
Because the minister does not preac
! the things they are interested in. IL
preacAe of men dead and gone thou
sands of wears ago-of Jonah and tn
whale OF Daniel in the lions den an
| things like that. When you want hlr
| to discuss the problems OF today-tn
problem OF the boy who is starving l
the street; Of the girl who is forced [
! sell her honor to live because her EN-
ployer does not pay her a sufficien
but what can you expect when tn
L. S. government Investigations shol
that a man and one wife and one cnll
cannot live decently on less man go
| a year, yet the average salary You pa
| your ministers is little over $buO
? year. third the wage OF a goo
I plumber
"The religion Of the Lord Jesu
> | Christ is not going to abide with YOU
| churches until you put your church6
an q business basis. II your religiC
! is worth anything, pay for II. 30
( | your sacred apron sales, your no.
grab bags and your sacred chicken p
, ! festivals to raise money for yo'
+ , churches. l..
p r1avina cards for silk stockings Al
3 ! dancing the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. hesiu
| tion-to have any time for the re
1 religion. They dance the tango al
wear tube skirts-without any Inn
tubes. Bat at that. the women a
! dressiug more honestly these days lh'
ever in their history man can s
what he is getting nowadays
Practical Things in Church
WHY isn't Gods church doing pra
teal things-feeding the hungry 4
instance. Instead of playing cards a.
dancing the tango2 The answer II
i'm the trouble with our national lie
the awakening that we need.
United States has more murders IN
any nation in the World-because
Ief more criminals go free than a.
nation in the world. and those that
convict our governors pardon-tn
are needed in the spring elections.
IT sometimes think it is not right
take a mans Ire oeeause ne "a "a - =
another life. but the fact remains III
M murderer who was ever good
sufffciently hanged. ever murder
aaain. London had 16 murders I
year. Chicago. One-fourth us SIZE II
400. Two OF London's murderers Co
1nitte1 suicide, two went insane q
me other ten were hanged. Chica
hanged TWO; the others went free.
Trouble with Our Laws
Drhe trouble with us is that {
laws are not enforced equitably. Y
srrest a poor man out OF a JOB
-fealfne a ride on a railroad, call b
a hobo, and throw him into jail. WI
some big gink in New YORK steals
railroad. you call him a high financ
and elect him to the United sta
why not some Of the old time se'
day religion in this country again =!
don't mean seventh day religion
bove too much OF that now. I or
wonder what some Of you who HI
,our religion on Sunday would do
you died on Wednesday. I supp
You would go to heaven for one
in the week and to-AlamosoT uo
the other six. I spent two days
Alamogordo between trains this mo