Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-25
ADuel Which
Became a Farce
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1916. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

Bunker that Il Solemn thing could
easily be turned into farce. \ duel Is
a very solemn thing very solemn.
And yNt ! have seen one or Two OI
them turned into II fare 10y slight
incident. will illustrate. sub.
"At the battle of Chantilly ! rereiv-
ed pistol bullet in The shoulder II
lies there among the muscles, aud the
surgeon advised me to let II remain
for awhile. II did not bother me long,
and was back with my command.
In fact. sulE that bullet did not give
me much Inconvenience until after the
wah. Then felt that the surgeons
must dig 1t out. went to one III our
own town. His name was Richards
and he was not only good surgeon
but a thorough gentleman He found
the bullet aud extracted ii without any
difficulty.
~ have been told said the sur
geOn. that you killed seventeen of the
enemy with your own hands at that
battle, don't blame you for feeling
rather proud Of that record
"'But it was only eleven, suh, and
not seventeen
~ have it OH good authority, colo
mel. that the number was seventeen
"This led TO high words and ! dc
manded satisfaction, 10 which the sur
geOn replied:
Willingly. colonel willingly, !
shall esteem It Il high honor to cross
blades with YOU
well he was cool hand, suah
enough. 1t looked as If he had intend
ed to pick u quarrel with me. | senl
Il friend to him. and Il duel was quick
~ arranged lie had the choice of the
weapons. and he chose rapiers. That
suited me all right. The bullet had
been taken from my left shoulder, and
nothing allied my right.
I'VE had to 90 about two miles to
find a spot where the affair could be
brought off. 1t was within 800 feet
of farmhouse. and the grove which
hid us from the highway was an open
one. The farmer WIS In a distant
field at work. and his wife seemed TO
have gone away for the day. In the
gardens surrounding the house were
half dozen hives of bees. and just
over the fence from them was a pas
lure IN which five or six mules were
grazing AS we were on the other side
uf the garden no one knew what took
place until after things had happened
The farce. therefore. took us by sur
prise.
Now. suh here is what happened
nn the other side of the house AS q
negro afterward described it TO us
one of the mules leaned against the
fence to rub his itching hide. The
fence was old and weak, and section
of it was pushed down. The mul,
that did it led the way into the gar
den. and the others followed him
They did not find much to eat there
and they began inspecting the bee
hives. One of them got sting ON the
nose, and he wheeled and kicked the
hive over. OF co'se there was row
on at once. A thousand bees. mo or
less. came flying out. and they made
ii very unhappy for the mules.
There was no fence on our side OF
the house, and the mules came gallop-
ing In our direction. There were bees
ahead of them, bees clinging to them
and more bees in chase. Befo' we
could understand what had happened
the mules and bees were among us.
Principals and seconds were treated
alike. Each had a score or more OF
the insects in personal attention upon
him. There was nothing to do but
run bef0' the storm.
ITO our left and forty rods away
was a field of growing cotton. The
stalks were high and offered us a
chance to brush the insects away. The
four of us and the surgeon In attend
ance all started for this field think,
sub, we destroyed about half an acre
of cotton and the mules about twice
az much remember that 1t cost us
500 to settle with the farmer and that
he had no mo- use Of any Of the mules
for month to come.
When we finally climbed the fence
and got back to the spot on which we
had been standing when the riot com
menced. my antagonist and myself
we're so blind that we could scarcely
see to pick up our rapiers. Our sec
onds were still worse off. | did not
look for the duel to be resumed, but
The doctor was hot for it.
"'Col0nel Bunker he said. you iI6
pugned my honah You denied, SUN,
in the face of my assertion that you
killed seventeen men at the battle of
Chantilly. and this affair must 20 on
10 its legitimate end
"'But | only killed eleven, suh.' re-
piled ! counted them MS they fell and
| put the number down In my notebook
hefo left the spot
Then. colonel. you have that note
book stlllT
~ have. sub
And you can show II to me as
proof that you were right and ! was
wrong:
"Most certainly. Doctor