davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1916-08-25
4 STUDENT JOKE.
Conspiracy CT Silence That Put tr
Professor In Parie.


Professor Elias Lo1nis for ma
years occupied the chair Of astron.
nv at Yale and was the author
the we'll known series Of mathema'
ical text books.
Professor Loomis repeated eac.
year to the junior class n course .
lectures on physics. The lecture
were illustrated by experiments
and in one on compressed air h
explained the principle Of the We
known air gun.
The students of each succeedin|
class as they entered he room fol
this particular lecture found on ta'
side of the room remote from ths
platform a small target. After ex
planning the operation Of the ga
Professor Loomis was in the habit
of landing three of its projeetlle,
with mathematical accuracy in the
center OF the bullseye.
The professor was always ap-
plauded for this feat, but his grim
face, covered by tightly Dr. aen
skin of parchment hue. never show
ed the slightest sign of qualification
ofrecognition of any kind. To him
it was apparently only n scientific
experiment to be exactly demon
etrated
One class of Juniors, however,
who had learned OF the inmemorial
incident from tie then seniors, at
tempted q little experiment OF
their own. tho subject beng mathe-
matical and scientific human na-
ture.
Three p1Fs from the air gun, and
although the students saw that the
bullseye was perforated as usual
there was not 4 sound of applause.
Professor Loonis looked q moment
at the elias in startled way, then
at the target, end then, with de-
gree Of emotions he had never be-
fore shown, exclaimed:
Didn't Il 1t? Didn't it hit;
Didn't / b. ,"
\ roar = lau"hter. followed b7
even inorc .i:aa Tie usual applause.
showed The professor that he had
not lost ii mslheIlticai accuracy
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1916-08-25

Whoever know anything about
the small boY anl his pride in lis
first pair Of trousers viii recognize
the truth OF story the Philadel-
phia Ledger prints
Tommy vas nj Sunday school in
his first real" clothes \ picture
of a lot Of little angels vas before
the clas-, a.d re teacher asked
Tommy if he eo1ld nnt Ike 70 be
one.
mo, rra'1.l rl romm
after inspo - re
"Not wai' = tn
myp rerr - ~ y -
not ?"
"Caus gfst :. ,i,e ~ ny
~ pant. - fo.nnj aasely
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1916-08-25

4 roar = lau"hter. followed b,
even inorc 'i:aa lie usual applause,
showed he professor that he had
not lost IL mathematical accuracy.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1916-08-25

Sergeant Bcoo 4 C'.lol':.sc -. >, s,.lr>
glar ui.ti t..c D,l.ee ar...~ ~
man, you d...a' ....,N a. re. .p.d-s
teer for tf ears. -
Skies o.. .eAt sAy t;.i .r'vaSa
u miGht s, II - m.sias..-s ss.-tca
!.ytsute 81 poor JoAes. tie ,oyu.ak
Il, has gone OFT os his mird:
6uyppes-Y he Eaa been busy
:or three months on ns chs nicI
ramp, and hs couldn't get 4 t. work
Ally Slopsg.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
BIRTHDAYSTODAY

Rear Admiral Robert f. Peary. United
| States navy, retired, who attained the
North Pole seven years ago, is go years
old today. The sixth of the month, claims
the veteran explorer Of the Far North, l.
his lucky day. Not only does his birth
day fall on the 9th. but he reached the
| North Pole on the 9th Of April. 1909. hav-
ing sailed on the trip on the 9th OF July
Also on the 9th of the following Septem-
Der. he sent the wireless. message from
Labrador that he had reached The pole.
Admiral Peary was born at Cre>son. Pa.
on Nav 6. 1856. When he was a boy he
was big and hoisterous. Later he was sent
10 Bowdoin College. in Maine, and at 81
Joined the coast and geodetic survey AT
Washington. Later he became a naval en-
eineer and took up exploring. His first
trip was undertaken just thirty years ago,
and he kept up his efforts TO reach the
North Pole until his success in 1909. lie
has been honored BY many learned socie-
ties in America and Europe. and i genera
ally recognized a. the first human being
to reach the North Pole. His daughter.
Miss Marie Peary. j. known 10 Americans
a the -,now baby for she was born in
the arctic. Admiral Pearv was raised to
hiS present rank and thanked BY congress,
in recognition OF his feat in reaching the
pole. lie makes hiS home in Washington.
Hon. Philander c. Knox, former secre-
tary of state. now candidate for the United
States senate from Pennsylvania, 63
years old today.
Crown Prince Frederick William, heir
to the German throne. 81 today.
Hon. Oscar Underwood, United States
senator from Alabama. 81 today.
Marques Of Huntington, heir Of the
Duke Of Devonshire, p today.
John T.. McCutcheon. noted American
c~artconi~t. i6 years old today.
DIR. Abraham Jacob, famous American
physician, So years old today.
Frederick l.. Harvey. historian of the
Washington Monument Society. go today.
DIR. Samuel b. Mccormick. chancellor of
the University of Pittsburg, IS today.
DIR. William Bowie, expert of the United
States coast and geodetic survey. IL today.
%lIenncn Jennings, famous American min
inc engineer, 60 years old today.
Hon. Archer Martin. noted British Co
lumbia j%urist, 81 years old today.
Earl Of Dartmouth, 90 today.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

blowers are the poetry of the earth,
a. stars are the poetry a heaven The
Reporter believes that the people If Abi-
lcne have 4 rare chance to grow flowers
this year since the fine rains that ha.c-ai-
ready fallen have placed the earth in Il
perfect growing humor and prospects in
spring and summer Nothing i more
beautiful than 4 yard Of flowers, and
nothing gives more pleasure to the own
err and those who pass along. Every
flower makes Abilene more attractive and
desirable a. a residential city. and it i,
encouraging 10 see the new flower gar
dens that have been planted this year
Abilene Reporter.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

SAN ANTONIO WANTS BROWNSVILLE
NEWS.

There has been such n demand for the
Brownsville Herald from Brownsville and
Valley visitors IN San Antonio that Man
ager Percy TyrreIl Of the Gunter hotel.
San Antonio, has requested H. to furnish
him with fifteen copies of The Herald
every day. '.Thcrc has been such a per
sistent demand for The Herald said Mr..
Tyrrcll, that | have decided to give il a
prominent place on our news stand"
The Herald is naturally pleased with thi.
request. LATHE by little The Herald is be-
ing recognized "a the true spokesman from
Brownsville and the Valley. There is no
truer mark of excellence than to have the
public ak for your product.
So. hereafter visitors from Brownsville
and the Valley will find The Herald ON
sale M the Gunter hotel news stand. Each
afternoon The Herald will be forwarded ia
San Antonio on the afternoon train. and
will reach san Antonio the following morn
ing, a few hours after publication.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
For America First.

A resolution signed by n long list of
n-Americans OF Bell county en-
dorsing President Wilson's stand in our
recent controversy with Germany was sent
to the White House this week. This indi-
Gates that these Bohemians are for Amer
lea iirst.-Lorena Register
They said ii in words as plain "a could
be spoken. Their promptneSs IN stating
their attitude will bring them Il warmer
friendship than has heretofore been ac-
corded them by 80 large a part of the
public which could not know of their 10y
atty to the land of their adoption.
American Patriotic Club.-Temple Tele-
gram.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

POLITICAL NOTES. :
)

ihe frogreSsive> are holding State
Conventions today in Massachusetts
Ohio and Washington.
claude kitchin the floor leader ot
the Democrats in the National Housc
Of Representatives, will I've opposed IN
the North Carolina primaries i'm june.
Those who object To his opposition Ia
the president have put up a candidate
\ special election will be held Tues.
day III the Second congressional
District of West Virginia to elect a sue
ccssor of the late William q. Brown
Jr., George |. Bowers. former l. :.
Commissioner Of Fisheries il the Re-
publican candidate 10 fill out the uue,
pircd term.
Maryland Republicans meet on Tues.
day to choose their Chicago delegation
and the Democrats will he i'm session on
Thursday 10 name convention delegates
for 81. Louis.
The Republican National Committee
VIII open its Chicago Headquarters next
week. and the work If paving the way
and smoothing ont the wrikles viii he
gin.
The Roosevelt men in South Dakota
nave called n conference for WclneS.
day next. for the purpose 81 swinoino
the state for him at the primaries on
May 3
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
TODAY IN HISTORY

l'o0-Lord Howe and General Howe an.
pointed English commissioner, for FL
storing peaceful relations III the
American colonies.
leio-Po~iagc stamps first used III Eng
land: America adopted them seven
years later.
loH-Rioting II Philadelphia between ma
tive Americans and Irish.
lso6-Accident 81 the new Panama rail
road; q killed and go injured.
ls'6-Mus~ulman riots at Salonika: Ger
man and French con-ul~ killed.
ls90-lIrndred women killed in insane
asylum fire "a Montreal.
l9lo-Desrh of his majesty. King Edward
VII. aged 60: succeeded by King
George Y.
l9l3-Four New York police inspectors
convicted of conspiracy To prevent a
witness from t%estifying in police graft
eases.
1915-]apan sent her ultimatum to China f:
China must accept unconditionallv the
demands of Japan.
l9l5-The War: Russians aviator~ hom-
bard C~on~tantinoplc, while warshipS
shell suburbs. General Botha cap
lures German railroad ccuter ~
Southwest Africa. French press back
Germans near Lizernc. German, con
tinue drive against Russia; separate
army working up the Baltic coast.
Au>trian-German force occupied Tar
now.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
With Other Editors
The valor Of the LIMOGES.

- P~cpAC oAS lSuAAe thSiA
and rending their garments, and heap
lZhg 4buse on President Wilson because he
has not sent an army Of invasion into
Mexico and has pot declared war on Ger
MANY and given England an ultimatum.
Yet if he were TO do either and issue a call
for volunteers not one OF these clamorerS
for war could be found at the front with
a search warrant. Day after day for
nearly two years the president has read
of the awful carnage, the desolated homes
and DESTROYED cities, the deiiled women,
the starving children. the dethroned and
fugitive kings. and all the horrors and sor-
rows of bankruptcies following upon war.
and has amid such pe-plexities such as
never before faced q president. striven 10
keep his people ont o. 81, r, and the reward
he gets at the hands ca a lot of jingoes
bowling like coyotes for a war in which
nine out of ten would take no part. i
abuse and defamation. The right thinking
men of America, men who would go 10 the
front if war should prove 10 be the last re-
sort, are with the president. The noisy
howlers represent none but themselves
and they would be a. Jealous 10 escape
the dangers of war. If war should be. a
they are now to bring it about.-Houston
Chronicle.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
STRANGE FOSTER CHILDREN

The latest freak of 'mothcring" i that
self the task of bringing up two lion
cubs. The rightful mother had no u>c for
them. and refused To- raise them. Their
mother l. Spltirc. . Homes that used Ia he
with Barnum 4 Balcy'~ circus. and their
father = Nero. the beautiful lion m the
Central Park zoo. The cubs were born
two weeks age. and these two are the sur
vivorS of an original family Of four.
Spiitrc was an unnatural mother. and il
was soon evident that ~hc had evil lntcn
tons toward her offspring. 20 they were
removed from the cage. The owners then
looked about for y substitute and learnin.
that a fox terrier had lost An her puppies.
they decided t. offer her the baby
hons.
For 4 moment She looked I'D them Just
a II she thought they were sou strange
animals that needed killing. Her back hair
stuck up and her ewes flashed. She walked
~ylngcrly over to them and shifted them
The little bcgSar~ were bind and began to
groan and whine M 4 pitiful way. Pres
entity the terrier seemed 10 realize that
they were hungry. and her ferocity and
curiosity vanished. The motherly instinct
was al once uppcrmoSt. She dropped down
in the straw and forthwith adopted the
poor little devils. who immediately acted a.
IT they had rcached home after "A long and
hungry journey.
The only trouble the fox terrier expert
cnces l. that the cubs paw a great deal
when they are feeding and they nave the
little foster mother all scratched up and
fnll of holes. THIS ahnse She i bearing
like a true mother. One reads of al kinds
of queer traits of animals adopting
strangers, but this adoption i the queereSt
of nil.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
Takes a Lot of Grit.

To look on life with tranquil eye
l. rather hard to do.
When bill collectors Snug and sprv
Are trailing after YOU.
Birmingham Age-llcraid.
IL look on life with tranquil eve
lakes lois OF good old grit
When through the mails the only tu.c
You hear j., "Plca~e remit
Monroe, Ga. Walton Tribune.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

The San Antonio political muddle l.
spreading. There T. now considerable talk
Of recalling Mayor Brown. a. the charter
provides for such recall. Mayor Brown
has the reputation Of having made an cx-
cellcnt executive. One can not visit san
Antonio. without coming away feeling that
The city y = progressive one. ON all sides
the ear marks Of progress can b. seen.
The paving Of the city alone viii always
he "A monument to Mayor Browns prog
ress. But politics = politics. The "out-r
want TO get IN. and they care little what
methods they employ ~ accomplish their
desires. They care little II the city a. \
whole suffers or what burden they place
upon the %taxpavcr.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
The Municipal Lodgings.

Dallas now has a municipal lodging
house AT which lodging and meals are fur
nI>hed under three different plans; they
arc paid for IN cash, by work in the wood
yard or on tickets for charities. They are
gwen free 70 handicapped or helpless men.
we are getting away from the old system
under which IT was necessary for a pcnni-
les man to commit "A misdemeanor III Or
DER 70 receive shelter III the city jail
Temple Telegram.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
Couldn't Make Good.

why did YOU break of the match -
Didn't Nou love the girl!"
Yes. | loved her, but | saw that our
married HE would mol he happy. 1t was
better to part IN time, was 1t not ;"
IL suppose 81. But how do YOU know
that your married life would not nave been
happy"
well, ! had promised her Il grand piano
and nm automobile. In fact. | had made
her more promises than | could keep
Pitt~bure Post.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
An Altruist.

~ man was IN here Just now trying 1,
persuade Ellsworth 10 take some maya
zines"
Il hope he failed in hi> nefariouS pur.
pose"
"Nhy DO You look mt il that way!"
Ellsworth takes All my magazines now
Id hate to think Of him imposing on other
people. oo."-Birmingham Age Herald.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

Another mar has decided to try for deer
sea treasure. He sees millions in the game
A corporation has been formed to furnish
the money. This man has a new diving
apparatus which, he says, will enable him
to go down 600 feet. He hopes to sal
wage Spanish g~alleons sunk in 1902 with
$40, 900, 900 on board. Sounds attrac-
tive, W. admit. Yet. any man that expects
to salvage Spanish g~alleons in the year of
Our Lord, 1916, though be may invent an
apparatus 10 90 dow 600 feet, must have
something the matter with the thinking APP
paratus that he was endowed with when
he came into this world.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

Foreman-Three more OF my men have
enlisted this morning.
Editor-Ahi \ wave of patriotism, |
suppose.
Foreman-Well, perhaps that's the way
to put 1t, but they say they would rather
he shot than set any more of your copy!-
Passing Show.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
He Was Excused.

II want 10 be excused" said the wor-
RED looking iuryman, addressing the
Judge. ~ owe 4 man IS that | borrowed.
and a. he j. leaving town for some years
| want, 10 catch him before he gets to the
tram and pay him the money"
You are excused" replied the Judge in
icy tone-. Il don't want anybody on the
jury who can he like that."-Bellman.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

Don't YOU think the baby favors hi-
father"
lin, Looks like him, but | wouldn't
call II q favor. Baltimore American.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

There i much unrest among certain
trades unions this spring. Many ugly up
r~isines, followed by murders are reported
in the news of the day. Ii il a pity that
the man who sells his labor and the man
who buys II, can not come to an under
standing. without resorting TO strikes and
the dreadful results which follow.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
Why She Petitioned.

Marion was saying her prayers. And
please. God. She pctitioncd. make Boston
The capital of Vermont
Why. Marion" said her shocked moth
er. what made yon say that!-
Marion settled herself in bed. .rCause'
she answered. Il made it that way in my
zamination paper today. and | want il 10
be right. Chicago Public.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
No Doubt About Ii.

There seems 10 be no doubt that Pre>i-
dent Wilson has alienated all those who
wouldn't have voted for him anyway
Galveston News.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
Not Likely.

When it comes down To b~rass.tacks the
young man of fiber and quality is not very
apt TO choose a Notwithstanding girl for
Il wife-not If he has brains enough To-
grease Il gimlet.-llou~ton Post.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
Then Smile A While
S~uspici0usIy Quiet.

Ii may be bIlla i not dead.
II may be that suspicious wrong
w do not know, we only know
Hes keeping quiet mighty long.
Houston Post.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06
DO YOU KNOW A

Walking i the best exerci>e-and
: the cheapest!
The United States public health
service administers typhoid vaccine
: gratis e federal employees
A little cough ! frequently the
: warning signal Of tuberculosis
Bad teeth and bad tonsil> may BE-
: the cause ~ rheumati~mP
tnpa>teurized milk frequently
: spreads disease.
The AIR tight dwelling leads 10 the
= gravel
. Moderation in AT things prolcnes
: hfes
The careless splitter j. a public
: danger.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

The lumber mills throughout the
country have effected "A great saving i'm
wood waste by substituting the band
SAW for the old -fashioned .ircalar saw.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

When NJ visits the war front PrcSi
dent Poincaire ALWAYS wears the rcgnla-
ton army uniform.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

The Askaris. the black troops fighting
under the banner eff the kaiser. are brave
and courageous ON the battlefield. There
l. only one implement Of warfare. how
ever. that they can not hc induced 10 make
. stand against. This implement i the
armored auto. The A>kari> call them
''Rhinos," and a. soon a. one makes it,
appearance. they take q their heels and
run until they lose sight Of Il.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

A circular Of information concerning Ahe
naval practice cruise for civilians ha> been
issued by the naval department. The
cruise will begin August Is. next. and will
last until September l.. Battleships of
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-05-06

the Atlantic reserve fleet will be used. If
any in Brownsville care to enlist for this
cruise, il will cost only $50.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1916-09-05
Vigorous Men
and Women are
in Demand

If your ambition has left you, your
happiness has gone forever, unless you
take advantage Of John Coleman Co.'S
MAGNIFICENT offer to refund your money
on the first box purchased If Wendells
Ambition Pills do not put your entire
system in fine condition and give you
the energy and vigor you have lost.
Be ambitious, be strong, be vigorous.
Bring the ruddy glow of health 10 your
cheeks and the right sparkle that De,
notes perfect manhood and womanhood
to Your eyes.
Wendeils Ambition Pills, the great
nerve tonic, cant be beat for that tired
feeling, nervous troubles, poor blood
headaches, neuralgia, rcstlessness;
trembling, nervous prostration. mental
depression, loss Of appetite and kidney
or liver complaints.
In two days you will feel better. IN
a week you will feel fine. and after tax
ing one box you will have your old
time confidence and ambition.
Be sure and get SOC box To-Day
and get out of the rut.. Remember
John Coleman Co.. and dealers every
where are authorized TO guarantee
them. Mail orders filed, charges pre-
paid by The Wendell Pharmacal Com
pany, inc, Syracuse, N. Y.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1916-09-05
To End Catarrhal
Deafness and
Head Noises

Persons suffering from catarrhal deaf
ness and head noises will he glad 70
know that this distressing affliction can
be successfully treated at home by an
internal remedy that in many instances
has effected 4 complete cure after all
else has failed. Sufferers who could
scarcely hear q watch tick have had
their hearing restored 10 such an extent
that the Kick OF a watch was plainly
audible seven or eight inches away from
either ear.
Therefore. II you know someone who
is troubled with head noises or catarrh,
or catarrhal deafness cut out this FOR
have been the means OF saving som"
poor sufferer perhaps from total deaf :,
MSS. The prescription can be prepared
at home. and is made as follows:
Secure from Your druggist I oz. Par
mint tDouhl, Strength. about sc
, worth. Take thiS hGmc and add 70 II =
pint of hot walter and on. Of graz
ui2ted sugar: stir until dissolved Take
one tablespoonful four tr1ucs day.
The first dose should begin TO relieve
tho distressing head noises. headaches.
dizziness. cloudy thinking. etc. while the
hearing rapidly returns as tho system Is
invigoratcd by the tonic action Of the
dropping in the back or the throat. are
other symptoms that show tho prcsenC"
nt catarrhal poison. and which are often
entirely overcome ny this "ff;cacious
treatment. Nearly ninety per cent. Of
all ear troubles ar" said /" W. directly
caused ny c9,arrh. therefore,. there must
BE- many people whose hearing can hr
restored by thus simple hnm" treatment.
Every person who is troubled with
head noises. catarthal deafness or ca
tarrh IN any form. should give this pro
Scriptlon a TRIAL.