davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
MEAN TRICK HARD TO BEAT
according to Fat Plumber, He VIA.
messed Action That Would Seem
to Be the Limit.

Il have spotted another 'meanest
man."
1t was the fat plumber who spoke.
who is it this timer" the thin car
penter asked.
Unison
What's Unison been doingY"
HE took me to dinner with him in
swell hotel the other evening"
DO you call that meanY"
mo, but listen"
II am listening"
when we had finished he took a
small piece of tinfOil that had COW
cred a little square Of cheese"
"Uh huh"
PLACED it on n silver dollar to get
perfect impression"
yes"
And then left the impression on
his plate so the waiter would think
he was getting a fine tip."-Youngs-
town Telegram.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08

Little Edward was listening careful
ly to the conversation of his elders,
puzzled over the many long words he
did not understand when he heard
his grandfather call certain person
an optlmist Edward frightened.
"Oh," cried he, II know what that
Isl
"Wel. Edward" said his GRANDPA.
ther, what. then, Is an optimism
why" said Edward, "the man who
fits you with spectacles -
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Killed While Bear Hunting.

St. Anthony. Ida.-Ed Chetwood, a
former Omaha ball player, was acct
dentally shot and killed near Cascade
station, Wyo., while bear hunting with
Oscar Payne of Squirrel, Wyo. Chef.
wood was on his hands and knees
looking into bear den when his com
panion discharged his rife while ad
iusting his pack
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Awful Mobiles.

Lewis, a minister's son, listened
gravely one evening while the minis
ter expressed his views regarding tight
skirts to his wife.
The next Sunday morning Lewis
tried. by waving his hand and point
ing, to attract his fathers attention
toward two ladies entering the church.
His efforts seemed to be in vain, and
at last he called:
Look quick. father, there's two aw-
full wobbleS in the aisle"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
useIean Visitor.

Say, young Teller" said Bronco Bob,
have you got a gun on your
mo. sir" replied the man with the
brand-new cowboy uniform. Il was
told that II was better To be- uuarmed,
so as to avoid any impression that
was seeking a quarrel"
swell, that's n big disappointment.
needed brand new gun an thought
you'd be bringin' along at least pair
Of 'em. Don't you LET anything Ike
this occur again. Star.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Demand WAGE Increase.

Galveston, Texas.-Demands for an
increase of wages have been made by
the Southern Pacific dock workers
union. The new contract submitted
to the employers calls for an hourly
increase of 10 cents regular time, Is
cents overtime and IS cents for Sun
day labor.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Exact Copy Of WEapper.
The Secret Out

Inc Widower and the ex-widower
Anced to meet in a downtown wet
Ods emporium.
lou Seem to be remarkably happy
Ce you married the second time"
marked the widOwer. whats the
plahation?"
NY WE is firm believer in fairy
aleS' See" rejoined the ex-wid.
1nu as the seeing was good, the 9TH
'OOAed through the bottom of his
SS and saw clearly.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
RED, ROUGH, PIMPLY SKIN
Quickly Cleared by cutIeura Soap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

You may rely on these fragrant,
super-creamy emollients to care for
your skin, scalp, hair and hands. Moth
ing better to clear the skin of pimples,
blotches, redness and roughness, the
scalp OF dandruff and itching and the
hands of chapping and soreness.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Ady.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
stIII. There Are Some.

Gosh ding"
whats the matter, friendT'
II wish / could find hotel that was
run 10 suit me-"
Its difficult matter, friend. This
hotel isn't run 10 suit me. and yet
own it."-LOuisville Courier-Journnl.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
EootbaIIist Dies.

Pittsburg. William A. Jones, aged
20. of Munhall, Pa, member of foot
ball team representing the dental de-
partment of the University Of Pitts
burg. is dead from injuries received in
a game on November 8.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Clark on Hioh Cost Of Livna.

Washington the high cost Of liv-
ing bothers you, don't wait for govern
mental remedies. but buy some laying
hens and eat more corn products and
rice. says Speaker Clark.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08

its last stages, /
tried Dodd's Kid
ney Pills. After
using two boxes l
was somewhat re-
lieved and l stop
ped the treatment.
In the spring OF
the next year !
had another at
tack. I went for
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Enuineer Falls OF, Train Goes On.

Philippsburg, N. while its engi-
neer, John Shaffer. lay dead beside the
tracks near Black Tom island, a milk
train on the Lehigh Valley railroad,
ran thirty miles beyond that point be-
fore the fireman. Allen Miller, discov-
cred Shaffer was missing.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Ills a Scale of Wealth

Rich Brothers folks may OCCASION
ally need a surgeon, but Poor Broth
er's folks never need anybody except
the family dOctor.-Fort Worth Star
Telegram.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Turkish s.nator Exscursu.

London.-Senator Abdul Hamid Eel
hravi was sentenced TO death by
court-martial and executed for con
spring against the Turkish govern
ment, according 10 a ConstantinOple
telegram.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
LARGE Profits Made.

Chicago-Sales of the Cudahy Pack
ing company in the fiscal year ended
October 2s were 1872, $50 $3.50, compared
with S116,162,155 the previous year,
while net profits were $3,oll,415,
against $723.642 in the previous twelve
months
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Can You Beat M

Mrs. Exe--My girl has left me. She
said had so much company there was
too much work to do.
Mrs. Wye-Thats singular. Mine
has left me. too. She said ! had so
little company It showed had no so
cial position.-Boston Evening Tran
script.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Ereep,Ion Noted.

u believe everything appeals TO
Smiths sense of humOr."
Il didn't when he fell down on a
concrete pavement and hit his funny
bone.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Eioht Thousand Men Get Increase.

Pittsburg.-The American Window
Glass company announced Wednesday
that, effective December l6. the wages
Of all its employees would be increased
10 per cent. The advance viii affect
about 5000 workmen.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
odIous comnarIson.

~ have seen potatoes worth their
weight In gold" said the man from the
KlondIke.
"The idea" exclaimed Miss Cayenne,
"of comparing anything so precious as
potato 10 mere jewelry."
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
VILLA CAPTURES CHIHUAHUA.
Reported to Have Ordered All Amsri-
can Residents to Leave for North.


can Residents to Leave for North.
FL Paso, Texas.-Government Off
Gals here declared Tuesday night they
had received information which con-
vinced them Villa was in Chihuahua
City. 1t was also known official re-
ports to this effect had been sent to
Washington substantiating messages
sent earlier in the day, reporting villa
in possession of the city and Trevino
in fight.
One government source gave out a
report that Villa had ordered all OF
the American residents of Chihuahua
City to leave on a special train for
the border, but this report lacks veri
fication, it was stated.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Their Class.

a uoctor can't make an honest liv-
why can't hep
pecauSe since his income comes en-
~ IRON sick people, his are ILL
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
THE PROFESSORS STATEMENT.

Prof. Aug. F. w. Schmitz, Thomas,
Okla. writes: Il was troubled with
for about twenty-five years.
When told l had Bright's Disease in
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Same Principle.

Willis-What system do these mill
tary airplanes work on?
Gillis-One person runs the machine
and the other is just an observer, but
both of them fight.
Wilns-I see; just like being mar
ried.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08

A woman may be as old as she looks.
but she Is seldom as young as she
acts,
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08

To keep clean and healthy take Dr.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regulate
liver, bowels and stomach.--Adv.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08

The vain show attracts the eye, but
makes heavy the heart.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
DRUGGISTS HIGHLY RECOMMEND
DIR. KILMERS SWAMP-ROOT
Satisfied With Results

have been selling Dr.. Kilmer's
Swamp Root for SIX and ons-hah years
and my customers are always satisfied
with the results obtained from the use
of the medicine and speak favorably re-
garding IT, | have used it for pain in
the back" and a bottle or two put me in
good shape and made me feel fns again.
believe Dr. Kilmer's Swamp Root win
cure any cases for which it is recommend
ed if they So not Of too long standing.
Ssry truly yours,
FEAlK JENKINS, Druggist.
Pilgrim. TEXAS.
At ,n,E
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Prove What Swamp Root win Do For You

Send ten to DR. Knmer Co., Bston n.
viii Of
be
Regular ftyn onedolar al
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1916-12-08
Customers Speak FsvOrabIy

We have been handling Dr. KilmerS
Swamp Root for fourteen years and dur
ing all that time we never had dis
Root; all Of our customers speak very
fayorably regarding IT, We know 0i
cases Of Gall Stones. Gravel. Catarrh o.
Inflammation Of Bladder and RheumA-
tism where it produced the most beneS-
eial results. We believe it is = good
medicine for the diseases for which it =
intended.
Very truly ours,
McCUNE DRUG CO,
BY n. E. McCune.
Bridgeport. TeEnA
November 18th, 1915.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
Emisrants and British Colonies.

The Salvation Army is carrying OH an ex-
tensive campaign in London, raising funds to
assist war victims to migrate to some OF the
oversee portions Of the British empire This is
quite likely to lead to further test OF the bonds
that bind the colonies to the mother country. In
dia is, Of COURSE out Of the question, for there
the conditions OF poverty are so much worse than
those OF England that no comparison can be
safely made Canada, Australia, New Zealand
and South Africa remain but these. are new coun-
tries, eager for the advent Of vigorous and ener-
getic settlers, whose present people will surely re-
sent being treated as hosts to the down and out
from England. Indeed, only few years ago
Canada protestedtin such an emphatic manner
against the practice that the Salvation Army was
compelled to dssist from assisting emigrants
from London to the Dominion. Canada has also
excluded the Hindu despite the fact that he is
a fellow under the flag on which the sun never
sets Australia has also put up the bar against
the Hindu, and South Africa admits him only in
limited numbers and under conditions against
which even the submerged lower caste Of India
has rebelled. Moreover, each Of the colonies has
contributed quite literally Of its manhood to the
cost Of war in flesh and blood and will have its
own fair quota Of disabled to care for when peace
is declared, Signs all support the thought that
the Salvation Army viii find its proposal but
little more welcome after the war than it was
before, and England, like the other countries, will
be forced to make provision at home for the
/ wreckage OF battle.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
Why Not Everybody Vote By Maila

This ought to be good time to take up again
the proposal, suggested by the editor OF The Bee
and later by William Jennings Bryan by which
the ballots for our elections could be distributed
and collected by mail and the voter permitted
to mark his ballot at home, taking his time for
deliberate and intelligent choice.
We now use the mails for all sorts OF public
functions almost as important as voting. We
summon jurors, challenge registration and serve
numerous notices in this way The mechanical
part Of 1t, device insuring the integrity of the
ballot and at the same time verifying the den-
tty of the voter by his signature. as now yet
saving him the necessity Of going to voting place.
is wholly feasible. True there might still be
loopholes for corruption or intimidation, but no
more so than under the present system of voting
and the penalties for violating the sanctty Of the
ballot could be made at least as effective for a
vote-at-home method as now for the cumbersome
voting booth system
Neither could the question of comparative
expense be serious, though, even il the proposed
arrangement cost more, it would be worth the
money, and much more, il it rendered it posi-
bile for every qualified voter to take part in the
election and made the choice the real verdict
Of all the people.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
Is Universal Peace a Dream?

contribution TO one OF the current maya
zines upon "The Dream of Universal Peace car
res in its very caption gentle suggestion that
universal peace is nothing but dream. By any
definition dream Is merely vision and at that
a vision which is unreal; and we must all admit
that up to the present moment, the idea of uni
versal peace has always been and still is hgment
of the magination--fction rather than fact.
Universal peace presupposes either extin-
guishment of the incentive for men to make war
upon one another, or incapaety to fight or sub
stitution of peaceful means of settling interna-
tional differences Attainment of the first con-
dition is certainly remote for it is nothing short
OF the uninterrupted reign Of brotherly love The
second condition is embodied in no practicable
proposal except that Of mutual disarmament and
this would have to be concomitant with the third
suggestion OF the establishment of world court
whose decree would be accepted through the very
futility of resistance
Whether plans for providing this machinery
of peace mature fast or slow the dream in the
sense that it is wish and something to be
strived fora goal which we may approach even
though we may never reach twill persist and
grow stronger in its inspiration. Paradoxically,
the intangible dream OF universal peace is the one
thing all nations are willing to fight for
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
Little Acts That Make Up Life.

One Of The Bees reporters recounts in his
own way several Of the little acts OF kindness that
fell under his notice deeds Of the sort that go
unheeded as a rule. but which serve in themselves
to meet the cyncism Of those whose selhshness
leads them to think the world has in it nothing
but GOODNESS and gloom. The truth is just the
opposite; the world is full OF Kindness Of thought
full care for the weak and helpless, and OF COM
passion for those who are unfortunate. Life is
full Of little things that in themselves do not
amount to much. but in the aggregate pile up a
splendid record to mans response to the impulse
to help. Ambitious efforts are constantly being
made for the amelioration Of the race, and are
widely commented on, but it is the unnumbered
deeds Of kindness, the unrecorded charities and
the simple courtesies that vaunt not themselves
that really smooth the way and more and more
make bright the path, along which man must
tread, and which would be terribly lonesome did
everyone walk by himself with no account OF the
marcher by his side. Great deeds will find the
doer out, but it is the little things that make up
life, and the observant scribe has noted that these
trAes show mans natural bent to good,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
People and Events

Alarm clocks are taking on some Of the car
shortage scare and going the usual price route
What nexti ....
A Kenosha (Ws,) citizen of Italian vintage
hid half dollar in his mouth The coin slipped
A doctor recovered the deposit in time to save
his life and pull his leg" for $l00
General Jacob S. Coxey of Coxey army fame
is numbered among the political lame ducks of
Ohio. Jake imagined he was just the right cal
ibcr for United States senator and hobblcd
through the race to the finish. Campaign bills for
1907 are his chief reminders Of the rum
IF Hughes is elected | will marry you right
away II he is defeated we'll wait long, long
time" Such was the verbal bet between Miss
Martha {, Hanlcy and Fred c, Ditmars of Wash
ington Early Tuesday night Martha chcerfully
admitted her loss and proceeded to pay the bet
Subsequent returns did not change the result
Both won, +'t ~
Why bother about varieties of food for faded
fastest All the dietary people need II they were
wise is ice cream in copious quantities An ILL
nois doctor, formerly connected with the State
Board of Health told gathering of ice cream
makers that their product was the real goods "A
healthy workingman," said the doctor, needs FIVE
pounds Of ice cream day as food. That'll cost
o3 cents and give him three square meals" Now,
60 to It.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
WOMEN'S ACTIVITIES.

An eieht-hour day for men and women
and a minimum wage of IS a day is what
Henry Ford is giving in his factories, which
Is said to be the greatest concession of the
century to economies.
The Women's Educational and Industrial
union of Boston has a bookshop for boys
and girls, which must be a very delightful
sort of shop for both the children and those
who have charge of it and one can imagine
how interesting II could be made.
Women have begun to make records as
hunters already this fall and two Pennsyl-
vania women have outraged the men who
accompanied them on shooting expeditions
recently. Every year the number of women
applying for hunters licenses are more
numerous.
Nora Connolly, daughter of James Con-
molly. the Irish martyr. is in this country,
and is telling in a very sympathetic way the
story of the Easter tragedy in Dublin. She
says that many Irish women aided the Irish
rebellion and carried cartridges from Eng
land concealed in their hats.
Women teachers in Philadelphia maintain
that they are entitled to the same pay as
the men. Last week they sent to the board
of education a determined request for the
equalization of wages to begin January /.
1917 AT present teachers get from $40
to $50 less than men doing the same work,
A girl at Byrn Mawr, in the freshman
class. will inherit legacy from her grand
father. provided she is able to cook course
dinner for twelve people and then sit down
in gown made by herself, to eat the din
ner. There are four sisters, all Of whom
must pass the examination between the
ages Of II and 81
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
Getting Back at the Farmer.

Two-dollar wheat, dollar corn and ten-dollar
hogs have set the western farmer on high ped
estal OF prosperity, from which he is to be thrown
down by the farm machinery makers. Notice has
already come from the producers OF tractors and
the like that the buyer Of their wares must be pre-
pared to pay more for them next season than ever
he did This is either the completion of the vicious
circle or the working OF compensation, just as
you care to look at it, but it carries nothing of
consolation to the ultimate consumer. out OF
whose pocket must come the increase, no matter
by whom the tax is levied. The 'unexampled
prosperity" seems now likely to take on the form
Of a disturbance in price balance which will not
again be brought to an equilibrium until some
body has paid well for the spree started when
Europe began to bid fancy figures for war sup
plies. The farmer being primarily producer,
will be present when the settlement is eventually
made.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
CYNICAL REMARKS.

Strangely enough. it takes a mighty dull
man to be a bore.
Money talks. but it doesn't always speak
when it is spoken to.
When the world owes a man living he
has a life job as a collector.
Don't rest on your laurels unless you are
prepared to see them wilt.
Give some men free foot and all they
will do with it is kick.
Man wants but little here below. but he
frequently wants a fresh supply of it.
Many a man aspires to be a political
leader when even his dog won't follow him.
There is plenty of room at the top, but
you can't make the small potatoes believe it.
A woman has no right to question the
love of husband who is willing to wear
the neckties she buys him.-New York
Times.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-19
The Expanded Dry Belt.

The wet and dry war map OF the United States,
recast on November 2 presents unique study
in politico-social phenomena For the first time
since the dry drive began the country has been
cut in two and the line Of cleavage is clearly
marked by white ribbon states, the line bears a
distant resemblance TO a huge water Upper its
curved handle resting on Puget sound, its heel
at the Gulf and the tip of the bowl at Chesapeake
bay Strategy in thus dividing the vets is evident
in the fact that the dry states, with three excep-
lions, are welded together against the licensed
saloon. Maine, Michigan and Arizona are some
what isolated, but so situated as to serve as a
basis for flank attacks on the enemy.
The capture of Nebraska was essential to the
union Of the parts and explains in some measure
the 6erceness Of attack and defense 1t was the
chief connecting link between the wet sections
Of the northeast and southwest and stood as an
oasis in the center Of conYerging dry territory.
With Nebraska forciby torn from its ancient
moorings the dry traveller may route his water
wagon from the shores Of the Pacific in Washing
ton or Oregon east through Idaho and Montana,
south through the Dakotas, Nebraska. Kansas and
Oklahoma, east through Arkansas, Mississippi
Alabama and Georgia, and northeast through
Tennessee, the Carolinas and the Virgnias, with
out once touching territory profaned by the
the licensed rum demon.
II was said Of General Phil Sheridan after he
ivcpt through Shenandoah valley he left the
.egion SO clean Of lfe-sustaning food that crow
flying over il had to carry its own rations In
like manner a wet essaying flight over the ex.
banded dry belt must carry his liquid ration.
in his grip unless he has friends at each suppl,
point to put him wise