davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

When you eat banana fritters,
Every undertaken filters,
And the casket-makers nearly go in
sane.
Some little bug is going to find you
some day,
Some little bug will creep behind you
some day,
With a nervous little culver,
He'll give cirrhosis of the liver;
Some little bug is going to find you
some day.
When cold storage vaults I visit
can only say what is it
Makes poor mortals fill their systems
with such stuff,
Now, for breakfast, prunes are dandy,
IL a stomach pump is handy,
And your doctor can be found quite
soon enough.
Eat plate of fine pigs knuckles
And the headstone cutter chuckles.
While the grave digger makes note
upon his cuff.
Eat that lovely red bologna,
And you you'll wear wooden kimona,
AS your relatives start scrapping
bout your stuff.
Some little bug is going to find you
some day,
oolllc HIllS DuS Will creep DeHlnQ you
some day,
Eating juicy sliced pineapple,
Makes the sexton dust the chapel
Some little bug is going to find you
some day.
All those crazy foods they mix.
Will float us cross the River Styx,
Or they'll start us climbing up the
the milky way;
And the meals we eat in courses,
Mean a hearse and two black horses,
So before a meal some people al
ways pray.
Luscious grapes breed 'pendicitus,
And the juice leads to gastritis,
So there's only death to greet us
either way.
And fried liver's nice, but, mind you,
Friends will soon ride slow behind you,
And the papers then will have nice
things to say.
Some little bug is going to find you
some day,
Some little bug will creep behind you
some day,
Eat some sauce, they call it chilli.
On you breast they'll place a lily,
Some little bug is going to find you
some day.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
In Fifteen Words
[From the New York Sun.

A great truth of politics has seldom
been presented more clearly or in fewer
words than by Oscar w. Underwood IF
Alabama in the United States Senate
on Labor Day:
Any Party which surrenders funda-
mental principles to the exigencies of
the hour is courting defeat"
Senator Underwood was speaking of
the surrender of a fundamental prin-
ciple of his party in the matter of the
protective tax on imported dyestuffs
but his remark applies with equal force
to that surrender of fundamental prin-
ciples, at the solicitation of Woodrow
Wilson and for his beneft. which has
stained the honor of the American Con-
gress with deeper. stain than any
dyestuff. German OF domestic, could
ever impart
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
WHAT THE ROTARY CLUB
LEARNED OF THE CITY

tQuestions submitted to members of
the Harrisburg Rotary Club and their
answers as presented at the organiza-
tion's annual Municipal ouiz."1
What provision is made for teaching
tubercular children?
Two schools are in operation.
Four teachers employed. Forty
two pupils. Pupils are given proper
food ut MONDAY.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

appointed U. Grant Smith his private.
secretary. Smith had one son on the
payroll as a House page and his SON.
in-law is special agent Of the Depart
ment of Commerce.
In the House of Representatives
Speaker Clark's son is the parliamen-
tary clerk at $4,000 per anum. He is
not yet thirty and was given this job
by the Democratic House majority be-
fore he had finished his law studies.
Numerous Democratic Senators have
taken good care of their poor kin"
with fat jobs on the government pay
roll. Senator Overman. of North Caro-
lima. has his son in $2,500 position
and a daughter holds s1,400 job. A
brother-in-law of Senator Kern, of
Indiana, has good place in the Sem
ate document room. The wife and
brother of Senator Gore. of Oklahoma.
are on the Senate payroll. Senator
Martin. of Virginia. has a brother as
assistant clerk to his committee. SEN
ator Vardaman, of Mississippi, has his
son assistant clerk to his committee
senator Chamberlain. of Oregon, has
his son a messenger in his committee.
The son-in-law of Senator Lane, of
oregon, acts as his father-in-law's pri-
Vate secretary. The son of Senator
Illlman, of South Carolina. is the clerk
IN his fathers committee. Another
son is on the Alaska Railroad Commits
sion. Senator Thompson, of Kansas,
has his son on the payroll A cousin
or Senator salisbury, of Delaware, was
given a good job on the Trade Com
mission. Senator O'Gorman, of New
York. landed the job of collector of
the port of New York for his son-in-
law, Dudley Field Malone. The nephew
OF Senator Robinson is a Senate door
keeper.
The most glaring examples of
nepotism are found in the House and
more poor relations" have been taken
care of in the House than in the Sem
ate, simply because there are more
Representatives than there are SEN
ators. Take Illinois for example.
Tavenner's sister -in-law is his ste
nographer. Stones brother is a clerk
in the House document room. Sabath's
nephew is also in the document room
Indiana Democrats have not over
looked appointing members of their
families to good places. Grays sister
is his secretary, Cullop's stepson is his
secretary, Morrison's son is his Sec
retary
Representative Pou, of North Caro-
lima, for a time had his son on the
payroll as the clerk of the committee
on claims, drawing s1,600 per annum
Young Pou at this time was a student
in the University of North Carolina
Representative Johnson, of South
Carolina, got one of his sons in the
Postof1ce Department and another a
House job. A nephew was made clerk
to House committee and the Repre-
sentative's campaign manager was
made capital policeman.
At least thirty other members of
Democratic Congressm ems families are
on the payroll of the House.
Nepotism is rife throughout the
service and Chairman Mccormick must
not feel too badly that he is not an
exception to the evil of the condition
Under the circumstances. If McAdoo
wants to wave the wand of national
committee power, why of course the
President will let him have it. He is
in no position to refuse.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Let US hope that the community high
school on the West Shore is to be the
forerunner of joint movement for the
Improvement of the river park strip
from New Cumberland to the Rockville
bridge. Also, it ought to be an easy
matter to control the river frontage on
the west side of the Susquehanna Basin
for and in behalf of the present and
future West Shore population.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
A CITIZENS INQUIRY

To the Editor of The Telegraph:
Who is responsible for leaving piles
of grass and a dead tree top on the
paved surface of. Front street between
Hamilton and Kelker? 1 thought we
had carts and street sweepers in this
district, but this refuse has been an
offense for several days.
PEDESTRIAN.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

AS one walks or rides through Wild
wood park these Autumnal days he
cannot help appreciating the wisdom
of reserving that fine natural park for
the use of all the people. The time
will come when those responsible for
this reservation will be hailed as men
worthy the lasting gratitude of a grow
ing community
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Those reprisal measures of the DEM
ocratic revenue act must still further
ALLEVIATE the former friends Of the
United States on the other side of the
Atlantic Ocean. But what are a few
million friends abroad and the pur-
chasers of millions of American pro-
ducts to the political expediency or
Woodrow the First and Last
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
MONDAY EVENING, SEPT. ii

If I kneaO you and you kneao me-
If both of us could clearly see,
lind ecith an inner sight di0ine
The meaning of your heart and mine,
I'm ssye that ave zvould differ less
And clasp our hands in friendliness
Or thoughts zVoald pleasantly agree
# I kne1v you and you kneoO ME.
NIXON WATERMAN.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

In the great basic steel industry there
is bounding prosperity. with orders al
ready placed sufficient to keep the mills
humming for year to come. At the
big Steelton plant of the Bethlehem
Steel Company. the Central Iron ana
Steel works. the Harrisburg Pipe and
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Pipe Bending Company's plant-every-
where there is activity and abundant
work for months ahead-providing the
war continues.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

The merchant shouldn't always
pride himself on the excellence of the
display because women pause to look
into the window of his store; many
of them are merely admiring their
own reflections.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Why worry about the future? Haven't
we a Democratic tariff revision in sight
and don't we know from past expert
ence that the Watchful Waiter will pro-
tect the business interests of the coun-
try at all hazards? We should worry!
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Welcome home. Governor Brumbaueh.
and may your tours among the farm
ing districts still further emphasize
the See Pennsylvania First" idea.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

The Turks are reported halted at
Woe Which may or may not indicate
that they have come to grief. - Balti-
more News.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

The denomination of LaFolette in
dicates that there is at least one
prophet with more honor in his own
home than elsewhere.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

The man who has the biggest
ideas of how the government of the
United States should be run is often
est the man who couldn't make a
good job of running a wheelbarrow.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
, TELEGRAPH PERISCOPE

-Pancho Villa is a one-legged SOL
dier who has not applied for a pen
sion.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Funny how much more we crave
Lima beans now that the price has
gone sky high.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Explorer Stefansson will not return
to civilization this season. He isn't
missing much civilization.-Boston Her
aid.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
DO YOU KNOW

That Conrad Weiser declared Har-
risburg occupied a wonderful COM
mercial position on the Susquehanna?
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Rumania is doing what she can to
confirm the recent German declaration
that the fifth war-loan will be the last
New York Evening Post.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

HISTORIC HARRISBURG
The first Pennsylvania railroad sta
tion was at the foot of Race street.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

city Commissioner Lynch must he
turtner convinced of the necessity or
some fixed policy regarding the resur-
racing of the paved streets when he
rides over such sections as che,tnut
street. between Front and Second. and
other deteriorating stretches of as
phalt. He will be justified in insisting
upon definite budget appropriation fo,
this purpose next year
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

A peculiar thing about this war is
that while some of the belligerents
never lose a trench, vet they recapture
quite number.-St. Louis Star
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
LOCAL REAL ESTATE


real estate circles hereabouts
and prominent Representatives
of the Real Estate Exchange predict
a lively autumn. Harrisburg realty
values are substantial and increasing
ly permanent. There can be no doubt
on this point.
This city has been transformed in
more ways than one during the last
fifteen years. What was once a NOR
ibund and more or less Indifferent
community has blossomed forth as the
most progressive municipality in the
State. There are reactionary in
fluences, of course, which tend to
Impede the development of the city
In some directions, but these are
more annoying than serious in the
sense that they do not represent in
any important particular the real
feeling and impulse of the community
as a whole
Perhaps nothing that has occurred
in the last five years has so emphatic
ally emphasized the public spirit of
Harrisburg and it's desire for a still
more attractive place in which to live
than the recent river carnival. The
kfpona served as an illustration of
the loyalty and wideawakeness Of the
people; it demonstrated to the small
reactionary element that our citizens
are not unmindful of the substantial
value of cooperation and the up
building of the esthetic as we'll as the
Industrial and commercial interests.
All this has its effect upon the
realty situation. Strangers are at
tracted by pleasing and comfortable
and wholesome features of any COM
munity. Businessmen are no longer
blind to the advantages of those
things which appeal to all classes.
Because Of these things the Harris
burg real estate market has been
given decided impetus and the
building of fine homes, the increased
demand for better housing conditions.
the approval of the City Planning
commissions propaganda for detach-
ed homes and more light and air, the
provisions for more comfortable resi-
Dental districts ana for healthful in
oustrlal sections. the insistent demand
Tor bathing beaches and boating facil-
tiles, all these indicate lively COM
munity spirit.
There is no longer any question in
the minds of intelligent Harrisburgers
that the enlargement of the CAPITOL
Park area and the reforming of tbe
entire zone Of the States reserva+ior
have contributed in large measure to
the permanency of real estate values
IN the central business district and the
rapid utilization of the river 'front.'
age all the way to Rockville is one
OF the results Of the changed policies
respecting building and general i'm
proVement enterprises in Harrisburg
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11
EDITORIAL COMMENT

Central Powers are becoming more
central-Wall Street Journal.
Drama, properly enough, is in the
Greek ar-theater.-Syracuse Post
Standard.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-11

Published evenings except Sunday by
THE TELEGRAPH PRINTING CO.,
Telegraph Building, Federal Square.
The Little River news., 1916-04-01
" Psychic PaIrnIst
Spirit Medium

go, % and whom to avoid; if you intend to make any changes or to start busi- ness, buy or sell property, or, in fact, take any important step his advice may be the means of saving you thousands or dollars and a great deal of trouble Re your fortune tomorrow if rightly handled. LOVE OR COURTsHIP
 If affairs of the heart or emotions .eS O; love interest you, he gives exact ai.s amo truthful revelations of ali love affairs. win the esteem and affection of anyone you desire, causes speedy and happy mar riages; tells if the one you love is true; lection, peace and confidence to lovers and discordant families; gives you the full secret how to control. Iascinate ana charm the one you love- also those you ileet, and how to make a person at dis tance think of you.
 THE FUTURE CAN BE FORETOLD.
 Locked in that mysterious sleep when PROF. H. C.. BELMONT. the living. breathing proof of the marvellous powers of clairvoy&ncy. reads the future fate of their daily affairs: Not mind read CT or fortune teller, but ono Whose soul breaks it's earthly shack.c. and Nd" ders into the latyrintf. "t space ard time and meets the SkeictOrs c! your past, the r'a'' s',.r .ii.ulc. and returns tc ti 4,n q ~s1ars tC warn and advisi
 HE WILL 70 :l.i >r: TO THE UTMOST s.. IioS
 AND UNLESS 4Ot l 10 HIM st. PI;RtOR TO ANY MEDIUM, PALMIST oR 9 R. CLA1EvoIANT s! !Sn YOU HAVE EVER
 Never before in the history of occult science has a man of PROF. II. C. BEL MONT'S professional standing consented to place his services at the disposal of the public for such a nominal consider alton. Realizing that this city has been overrun with pretenders in the past. and visit a genuine clairvoyant, PROF. Fl. c. BELMONT has decided to place his consult ition fee within the reach of all WONDERFUL PROOFS. You are given names. dates. facts and and present which are staggering proofs of this most
 EXTRAORDINARY INDIVIDUALS MARVELLOUS POWERS. CALL AND BE CONVINCED THAT THERE IS ONE PERSON IN THE WORLD.
 Who knows every secret wisl1 of your heart, your every trouble. hope and anx- ety, and gives a solution in detail to all of your past, present and future affairs. BEWARE OF THE PARTIALLY DE-
 VELOPED MEDIUM.
 THE M PRErEFDER END FROM THE FGL- LY DEVELOPED MEDIUM, YOU SHOULD LEARN THAT SECRET FROM PROF. H. c. BELMONT AT ONCE; IT IS A WASTE OF BOTH TIME AND MONEY TO COUNSEL WITH THE PATHFINDER OR PARTI- ALLY DEVELOPED MEDIUM: THEIR HHiCG HDII dFTEN Mh DEPEND EpdS THEM A TO ASSIST YOU IN TIME OF TROU- BILE, ONLY TO FIND YOUR CONDI- TON BECOMES MORE COMPLICATED INSTEAD OF BETTER. ALWAYS CON- SUIT THE FULLY DEVELOPED ME DIUM.
 KNOWLEDGE OF THE FUTURE IS
 POWER FOR THE PRESENT.
 Your future is correctly foretold by this
The Little River news., 1916-04-01
Prof. h. C. Belmont AstrcIogist PhrenoIogist

remarkable man, whose career has been one of success gifted by nature with a He is acknowledged to be the marvel oi the Twentieth Century. PROF. H. c. BELMONT is q prophet of world wide repute, is recommended by every one of his patrons. His powers excite the won- der and admiration of even the skeptical. His advice is infallible. convincing be- yond dispute Through his remarkable development of second sight and his thorough knowledge of the many sciences peculiar to the men Of the Orient he is enabled to penetrate the wool and wet of human life.
 IT IS NOT WHAT HE HAS DONE FOR OTHERS. IT IS WHAT HE WILL
 DO FOR YOU.
 This master mind of clairvoyance and expert exponent of honest, fearless and clean cut, hish-grade mediumship ex- to call and test him to your hearts con tent, and you will depart thoroughly sat- isficd that there is reliable medium and lis REVELATIoNs m 'ai ARE '11e; Mosr woN-
 DERFUL.
 and acknowledged to be of the highest order; not made to satisfy idle curi- osity. but intended to give those who does not cater to the superstitions of the ignorant. credulous people. If you are in, doubt that lie can and will perform ali he claims, feel yourself invited to c:.h. and he will give you a more sub stantial proof of his marvellous power than you have before received from mor- tai.
 Of course, there are charlatans and quacks ill all professions. but that has never been used as an excuse. It Is g matter of history from the remotest age to the present time, that there are few who possess occult power sufficiently tt enable them to accurately reveal the past and give correct forecast of the future.
 THE TROUBLED AND UNFORTUN- should seek his counsel Thousands ot families long separated have been re- united by his efforts thousands of heart. made glad through his truthful predic- tions. There is no home so dreary and sad no life wrecked or blighted, nc heart so sad and lonely, no condition o1 circumstance so complicated or incom- prehensible that cannot be set right afte, d visit to this inspired prophet of mod crn times.
 THE KING
 OF ALL LIFE READERS DRIVES AWAY SKEPTICISM AND PRE-
 JUDGE.
 HONEST DEALING IS COMMEND
 ABLE.
 THE MOST MARVELLOUS OF ALI
 MARVELS! NOTHING LIKE IT
 EVER WITNESSED BEFORE. HEALTH, WEALTH AND HAPPINESS BY CONSULTING PROF. H. C. BEL
 MONT, PRINCE OF CLAIP- A VOYANTS AND MEDI- A.
 UMS.
 PROF. H. C.. BELMONT baffles skcptics, hushes doubters and si- fences the slurs and jeers of all sexes classes and nationalities.
 HK LIFTS THE VEIL OF THE FU-
 TURF
 and peers into mysteries beyond, and points out the way to kenighted wayfarers Such blessings are availed by the wise and prosperous of all nations and climes Common sense says go and partake o1 these advantages freely, and in after years you will be spared the saddest ot all sad words, Tt might have been."
The Little River news., 1916-04-01

WINTHROP NEWS.

Winthrop, March 3O.-(Special)- MI. Gaddis and family of Morris Fer ry have moved back here this week.
 MT. Spivey and daughter, Juilette oi .'t'exarkana were here a few days ] tie first of the week.
 Rev. Mckinley preached at the Baa- ti.st church Friday evening.
 Will Adams and Walter Gray were a"cr from Foreman Friday.
 Tommy Seymour of Fulton was here Saturday and Sunday.
 Rev. ONeal of Ashdown was here Friday.
 1 Misses Mccoy, Caroleen Burlingame Eillie Brinkley, Cora Millwee, Mir. and Mrs. George Monroe, Messrs Clarance 1 Monroe, Henry Johnson and Hersel l Friday were here from Horatio Friday 1 Miss Gertrude Ward of Allene spent few days here this week. i Prof. T. r. c. Anderson of Rich mond >was here Saturday to see his many 'iends. l Mrs. John Rhyme and children o1 TeXarkana are visiting the formers parents, Mr. and Mrs John Sessions.
 c. N. Payne, Horace Doak, John and Sid Phillips and Frank Clowdis of Ashdown were here Friday evening.
 F. L. Morgan was up from Ashdown Sunday.
 Miss Charlie Bevils of Bokhccna spent Saturday and Sunday with rel atives.
 Mrs. Frank Lang and children o1 Ashdown are visiting the formers mother Mrs. Mary Davis.
 Jim Hemphill was here from Rich mond Friday.
 Frank Clowdis of Ashdown spent z few days here this week.
 Miss Myrtle Sessions visited in Ash. down the latter part o.f last week
 Roy Obarr returned from Shreve. port this week.
 Miss Catherine Pendergast enter tained Q number of her friends Sat ur3aY evening with birthday party Cards and music were the features oI the evening. Many appreciative gifts were received and at the close of the evening the hostess served delicious refreshments. Prof, Boggs and Robert Sessions 
 were in Ashdown Wednesday evening