Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-02-12

present and future grandchildren, neg
lected to mention a Longworth. Nick
has been success as politician, how
ever.
WHAT has become of the old-fash-
toned girl who could show a dimple
without opening her mouth?
VERN Castle, having guided the fair
Irene through the dip and the trot on
slippery floors, feels qualified to. pilot
an airship. He is studying aviation
at Norfolk, Va, and says he will soon
join the royal flying corps Of England.
Doubtless there will not be a dearth
of volunteers as Vernon's substitute
as guide to Irene.
"GOING to Africa to Study Apes
Headline. Why go so far aways
DEMOCRATS are planning on a
four-day convention at St. Louis. OF
course the hotels must get their money
back.
MOST Of the men who permit them
selves to be dragged out as candidates
by their friends never look the same
after the votes have been counted.
AT last accounts Al Tearney said
that the Three-Eye league was hold
ing the Rock Island ball. Ditto Mel
Justice of the Central Al also said
he had $4,000 to spend. And in the
same breath he promised visit to
Rock Island. Come ahead, Al. and
bring the dough with you. Well give
you the time of your life. Justice, so
far as We have been able to learn,
didn't even blow himself to package
of Camel cigarets while he was in our
midst. We all like to meet the chap
who makes noise like bank account.
IF mems morals are so weak that
they can be impaired by women's
dress" says Miss Lucille Pugh, fem
mist leader, then l am in favor of
women going to it and making good
job Of it." Well they haven't far to
go, Lucille.
IN Cleveland the customers get
music with their shaves in the barber
shops. "Nearer, My God, to Thee" etc.
Il AM obliged to attend the Chicago
cement show in Chicago" says Ignatz.
Its a hard life"
TEXAS girl left request that Men
delssohn's Wedding March" be played
at her funeral. Better late than never
LUDWIG, You had better be getting
my golf outfit in order. l saw another
robin yesterday. And. Ludwig, you
must have let some tepid water in me
bawth this morning. Keep it cold, un.
derstand me?
SWILLUM and Slicker operate a sa-
loon at Jefferson City, Mo-
IOWA banker. worth a half million
dollars. ended his life because he had
become estranged from his wife. II
you're happy, why should you worry
over the disappearance of the coal pile
HUGHES has declared with final
ity that ought to draw a sigh of relief
from Oyster Bay that he is out of poll
tics. But the discouraging thing is
that there are so many others that are
out and don't know it.
| TWO Chicago attorneys have beer
indicted for perjury. Here's great
opening for our old friend, General
Technicality
JUDGING by some of the pictures OF
society women sent north for publica
ton in the newspapers one would i'm.
agine they were trying to attract the
attention of managers of burlesque
shows.
PEARL necklace valued at 500 ,OO(
has reached Gotham from England
We may expect it to be sprung one Of
these nights by the wife of a munitions
maker.
POOR old Abe Lincoln Is getting his
today. There is saying that there
Is no rest for the wicked. Then WHY
should Abe be so mercilessIy libelet
every year at this time.
ALL the paragraph writer's are re.
ferring to the latest cabinet resigna
ton as a Garrison finish. Now the
question is who said it first We den,
that We did. So that ought to helf
clear the situation and run the author
to cover, as there are only few OF
the original ones left
THE Chicago Municipal Voters
league has come out with an attack OF
Mayor Thompson. Which lends color
TO the claim that Bill Is regalning this
favor OF the public of his home town
! 'BR1AND Reaches Home. Is Giver
Warm Welcome" Husbands of tn,
late watch club will sympathize witt
| the gentleman II Ia assumed tho Ri