davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state herald., 1916-12-01
MEAN TRICK HARD TO BEAT
According to Fat Plumber, he Wit
messed Action That Would Seem
to Be the Limit.

II have spotted another 'meanest
man."
1t was the fat plumber who spoke.
"Who is It this timer" the thin car
penter asked.
"UmsOn."
'What's Unison been dOinga"
"He took me to dinner with him In
swell hotel the other evening""
"D0 you call that mean3"
mo. but listen"
Il am listening"
"When We had finished he took a
small piece Of tinfoil that had covered
n little square Of cheese"
"Uh huh"
'Placed 1t on silver dollar to get
perfect impression
yes"
"And then left the impression on
his plate so the walter would think
he was getting fine tip."-Youngs-
town Telegram.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Iheuahtful WIfa.

A man condemned to be hanged was
visited the day preceding his execution
~ be wife ian ignorant woman). who.
- tzs sequel will show. intended to
have no hitch In the carrying out Of
the sentence. After the anxious In.
auiries about his heiltli had been made
and answered he nouced that she had
two parcels, and arked what was In
them.
Wifs-This one contains q change Of
linen for you.
Husband-And the other onei
Wife-Oh. that II the clothesline. !
brought II, as did not know whether
they found the rope or We had to
provide one"
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Simple Question to Answer.

The editor Of the correspondence
columns had very busy day. very
busy day, indeed. So busy. In fact
that hs had to enlist the services Of
the sub" to read out the correspond
enoe.
''what is the next queryf' he asked
when he had gone half way through
the pile Of letters.
'Oh." replied the "sub." "a readel
wants to know how to prevent thu
hairs In his mustache from fallini
out. What shall I put down. sirf"
SWELL" answered the editor. with {
dSh. "tust put down: The best wa,
TO prevsat hairs from falling out IL Il
brush them lightly apart and keel
them from quarreling."
The state herald., 1916-12-01
HAD ALL QUALITIES NEEDED
One Small Thing That Screen Star
Lacked Was Not At All Neess-
sary for Success.

Il can." said the bashful young man
to the director Of the film company
"swim. fence. box, shoot. ride a horse
run motor boat, play golf. fight. make
love, fall OF cliffs, rescue heroines
play football. die naturally and kiss u
girl"
But" interrupted the famous direc.
tor. "can you actf"
"Alas!' muttered the would-be
screen hero. II never thought Of that '
Engaged" growled the director. and
another screen star was born.-Life.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
He Knew.

Little Edward was listening careful
ly to the conversation Of his elders
puxzisd over the many long words b.
did not understand when he heard
bis grandfather call . certain person
an optimist. Edward frightened.
"Oh," cried he. II know what that
lsi"
swell. Edward" said his grandfa'
ther what, then. II an optimism
"why." said Edward. "the man who
dts you with spectaclesw
The state herald., 1916-12-01
suIl, There Are Some.

'Gosh dingl"
"What's the matter. friendr
II wish l could find hotel that was
run to suit me-"
"lt's difficult matter, friend. This
hotel isn't run to suit Inc, and yet l
own it."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

Dstd's kidney Pills ant they relieved
me again. ! used three boxss. That
10 now three years ago and NJ Back
ache has not returned IN ~ severity
and BY using smother two bo9ss Q III
tls later on. the pain left altogether
and have had no trouble since. You
may use my statement. ! recommend
psdd's Kidney Pills when and whsr
ever ! can" oedd's Kidney Pills. Soc
per box At your dealer or oedd's Medi
cine Co., Buffalo. N. Y.-Adv.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Pretty Often, Too.


During Bible lesson a teacher wai
trying to explain the parable Of the
tares.
Can anyone tell me any person who
IL like the evil one who sowed the
taresr
A hand instantly shot up from the
foot Of the clasa.
swell, David. what person do you
sayr'
"Please. ma'am, my mother"
"Why?" asked the teacher In aston.
ishment.
Because" answered he. eyina
his patched trousers. "she scws tears"
Asd Cross Hag Bius. mech bsttsr. sosa
farther than liquid blus. CT from M
grocer. Adv.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

IL last stages, ]
tried 0edd's NA-
nsy Pills. After
using two bones I
was semewhat ~
lisved end I slep.
ped the Treatment.
In the sDeing Of
the nsxt year !
had another at.
tank. I want hoP
The state herald., 1916-12-01
RED, ROUGH, PIMPLY SKIN
Quickly Cleared BY cutIeura seap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

You may rely on these fragrant.
super-creamy emolllents to care for
your skin. scalp. hair and hands. Moth.
Ing better to clear tho skin of pimples.
blotches. redness and roughness. the
scalp Of dandruff and itching and the
hands Of chapping and soreness.
Free sample each by mail with Book
Address postcard. Cuticura, Dept L
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
What lha Said.

Little Ernest-I know that lady over
there. mamma. She often speaks to
me.
Mother--Yes. darling, and what does
she say to your
Little Ernest - She - she says
"Don't you dare to throw stones at my
dog again, you little wretchi"
The state herald., 1916-12-01
osn vsu Beat lu

Mrs. Exe-My girl has left me. She
Mid ! had No much company there was
too much work to do.
Mrs. wye-Thnt's singular. Mine
Inns left me. too. She said had 20
little company II showed ! had no no.
cInl position.-Boston Evening Tran.
script.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Exception Noted.

II believe everything appeals -
Smiths sense Of humor."
II didn't when he fell down ON .
concrete pavement and hit his funny
bone"
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Important Consideration.

"Your husbands once doesn't ap-
pear very buey." remarked oae womap.
mo" replied the other. hut it's
very useful. II sives him some place to
70 when he Isn't playing golf"
The state herald., 1916-12-01
THE paorsssoa's STATEMENT.

Prof. Aug. =. ". sehmits, Thomas
Okla. writes: Il was troubled with
Baekaehs for about twenty-five ysafs
whsa told had Bright's Disease IN
The state herald., 1916-12-01

The vain show attracts the eye. but
makes hcnvy the heart.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

Hfe is the growth from little things
TO great.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Green's
August Flower

b ttss - rsms1y always y - rsilsl
tint ly tsaag. y ysail ~ ~
aeaO ~ easy Z = = kepl ws1
1oe. ~ ~. slsis p ~ onGSes -
0alsFa Always kssp Ss(tIs 10Y.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

To te.p slss. ead healthy take Dr.
f:.e': I S... r:';s.Ss "a fs:s; n1ty regulate
The state herald., 1916-12-01

Prosperity is often the forerunner
Of calamity.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

Smile % wash day. Tbat,s when you ~
Red Cron Bag Blue. Clothes whittier than
snow. An Qocsfs. ADV.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

He conquers twice who conquers
himself In victory.-Syrus Eliot.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

~. :: ~, - 8, - 8 :: -: & :. g
- -. :: -: : -: =: :: =: q: =. a :: 80 -
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Postponed.

Pestpens6.
Little Dorothy's mother had spoken
to her several times about teasing the
cat, whose name was Teddy.
Finally she said. "Dorothy. I want
you to leave that poor cat alone. and
I am not going to speak about II again
tonight"
Dorothy looked around at the cat
and said, threateningly, "All right, Mr..
Teddy-cat, but you'll catch Il tomor.
row."-Woman's Home Companioe.
Only Q oeat Could % Il
First Goat-How did you get richf
q Second 0oat-Saving hat checka By
eating my hat.
The state herald., 1916-12-01

You Eotta get down to bixness: Il
won't come down to you.
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Masculine Form

Masculine Form.
"what Is u huEchf"
"A hunch Is the masculine cquiva-
lent Of feminine intuition"
The state herald., 1916-12-01
DRUGGISTS HIGHLY RECOMMEND
DIR. KILMERS SWAMP-ROO1
Custoasss Speak Rsvocab,y

We have been handling Dr. Kilmer's
6wamp-Root for fourteen ysars and dur.
ing all that tims We never had . die.
satis6ed user Of d. Kilmsr's Swamp.
Root; all Of our customers spsak vssy
iavorably regarding Il. We know a
cases Of Gall Stones, Gravel Catsnh q
Inflammation Of Bladder and Rhsuma-
tism whers Il produced the most bs.sA.
eial results. We believe Il = . eeed
medicine for the diseases for which L b
intended.
Very truly yours,
4cCUNE DRUG CO.,
By N. E. AcCuns,
Bridgeport. TsxAA
Novemf,er llth la16
The state herald., 1916-12-01
Satisfied With Results

have been selling Dr.. Kilmsr's
swamp-Root for six and one-haN year.
and my customer are always satisfied
with the results obtained from the use
Il the medicine and speak favorably 70
sardihs Il. l have used II for pain in
the back" and bottle or two put me in
good shape and made me feel fine again.
I believe Dr.. Kilmer's Swamp Root viii
cure any cases for which It Is recommend
Cd II they are not Of too long standing.
Very truly you.,
FRANK JENKINS. Druggist.
Pilgrim, Texas.
Nt ,,.S ,n,r
The state herald., 1916-12-01

Prove What Swamp Root viii Do For You
Send ten cent. to Dr. Kmer Co. Bnshamtn y for bot
will You will booklet
kidneys bladder When
At al
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

The only conclusion one can draw from the
tactics of Great Britain is that the brilliant Of
fensve she purports to be making along the
Somme is another fizzle that will make good read
ing when the full truth is known. If England
and France were so sure Of their victories they
really ought not object to the cables about the
battles that Berlin correspondents try to send
home. What is gained by cutting out import
ant features Of dispatches? In the lapse of time
the truth will be known anyway.
The censoring of news by London must have
reached superlative proportions if the correspon-
dents at Berlin feel forced to protest to their
home governments and to proclaim to the world
at large that British arrogance is deleting i'm
,portant facts from their dispatches.
It may be that when the dead are counted on
the Somme battlefields the world will be astound-
ed at the colossal losses of the Allies This often
sive may be nothing but gigantic slaughter of
British soldiers, in which the Germans sparing
their men, and abandoning positions after they
have lost their tactical worth, are the true vic
tors. The rigid censorship of the Allies leaves
this inference. London in the last two years has
always hesitated to admit her defeats and losses.
Perhaps she is experiencing another brilliant Of
fensive at the cost of thousands of men, and
when the smoke has cleared will again find her.
self attacked by the British people.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

CAMBRIDGE CITY, Ind, Aug. T.
Mr.. and Mrs J.. X. Smith, J. A. Boyd,
Mrs. Raymond Bertsch, j. w. Beard,
w. A. Crietz, Miss Amy Mcdonnell, DR..
and Mrs. A. L. Ehle, Mr.. and Mrs.
j. II. Hazelrigg and John Parrish,
were the number in attendance at the
funeral OF Mrs. George Bridenbucher
of Kansas City, Mo-, which was held
Wednesday at the home OF her brother
Charles Sarber of Germantown.
Miss Dorothy Moore has returned
after a visit with Mr.. and Mrs. Lewis
Hotmeier OF Winchester.
Visit With Or. ModIin.
Mr.. and Mrs. Martin Modlin of De-
troit, Mich, the former forman OF the
Ford Automobile factory, Mr.. and Mrs.
Frank Modlin and daughters of Olive
and Georgia, Of New Castle, have been
the guests OF DR.. and Mrs. w. ID. Mod
lin. ;. /. Miss Edith Bertsch entertain
ed the members of the Bridge club
Thursday afternoon, at her home
northeast of town. Yellow was the
predominating color used in the deco,
rations, gladioli and nasturtiums being
arranged in the different rooms, while
the same pretty coloring was shown
in the decoration of the score cards.
In the serving Of tempting collation.,
Miss Bertsch was assisted by her
mother, Mrs Edward Bertsch. Later
in the evening. the young ladies en-
joyed swimming party among the
number were Miss Helen Shaffer of
indianapolis, the house guest Of Mr..
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

Kuster, Warren and Ray Ingerman,
Evelyon Modlin, Mrs. Fink, Alice and
Ralph Gentry, Martha Lou, John and
Ruth Ellen Judkinsfi Miriam Banner,
Eleanor Groves, Margaret Scudder,
Jean McGraw, James Butler Anna
Katherine Wheelan, Richard Ulerich,
Bernice Gobel, Helen Bertsch and
Mesdames w. H. Wiseman, j. c. bod
son, A. H. Hines, J. w. Harper, M. H.
Gaar, Harry Hustler. Clarence Inger-
man, w. D. Modlin, Mr.. Fink, B. NJ.
Gentry, Will Judkins, F. M Banner,
John Groves, E. r. McGraw, Will
Butler, Mrs. E. G. Wheelan, Mr.
Ulerich, F. M. Gobel. and Bertsch.. -.
All persons in Cambridge City, who
are eligible to the Pennville school
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07
HOOVER FAMILY PLANS FOR OUTING
At HOME NORTH OF CAMBRIDGE

to be the guests of the Misses Lille
and Flora Vinton. :. R. H. Ressler
has returned after attending the races
at kalamazoo.
Little Folks Picnic.
The members Of the infant class of
the Methodist Sunday school, taught
by Mrs. w. H. Wiseman, and the moth
ers of the little folks picnicked Thurs
day on the grounds at the home Of Mr..
and Mrs. M. H. Gaar, automobiles con-
veying the party to the Gaar home.
The picnic dinner was spread on the
lawn, and heartily enjoyed by both
the little folks, and the older ones.
Games and swings added to the happi-
ness. Among the number were Ruth
Agnes Dodson, Margaret Hines, Hazel
Harper, Howard Gaar, Harry Beale
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07
new PARIS man
QUITS HIS STUDIES
TO RETURN HOME

NEW PARIS, O., Aug. Rev. and
Mrs. c. S. Grauser and son Charles, Of
Waynesville, O., spent this week with
Mr.. and Mrs. e. v. Stamback. :. Miss
Janice Hahn has returned from a de-
lightful vacation visit with friends at
Wheeling, w. Va, and Pittsburg.. -.
A. H. Wilson who attended normal
school at Chicago University, arrived
home Wednesday.
Mrs. L. E. Murray and small son,
Jack, Of New York City, arrived this
week to visit Mr. and Mrs. James j.
Boyle. e. Miss Sarah McGrew is the
guest of her sister, Mrs. T. B. Miller
at Greenville. :. Mrs. Claude Sinck
and two sons of Richmond were
Thursday guests of her father, w. P.
Mills. :. Mrs. H. A. Wehrly and chill
dren of Liberty Ind, are spending two
weeks with local relatives.
Miss Grace Overpeck of Dayton, re-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

and Mrs. Frank Winters, Miss Edna
Senior of Germantown, the Misses
Helen Doney. Helen Filby, Miss Hanch
Of South Bend, with Miss Alice Nc
Cafsrey, Miss Helen Whitcomb of
Minneapolis, with Mrs. John Peele,
Miss Susie Freeman Of Indianapolis,
Mrs. D. H. Wright, and the Misses
Carlyle Diffenderfer, Esther Straughn,
Hazel Bertsch of this city, the Misses
Helen and Blanche Coyne, and Mrs.
George Wagner Of Milton, and Mrs.
Linville Ferguson, Of Harrisburg.
Serve Penny Supper.
The Christian church will serve a
Penny supper Friday evening, August
II, in the dining room of the church.
:. Joseph F. Jewett and family of
Seven Mile, o. will arrive Saturday
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

turned to her home Wednesday after a
visit with Miss Lorena Miller, who re-
turned with her for weeks stay.
Mrs. E. H. Young and son Donald,
have returned from two weeks visit
with Rev and Mrs. S. K. Scott and
family at Dayton. Miss Mary Shurte
left Tuesday to visit her aunt at
Gettysburg. Darke county, Ohio. -.
Mr. and Mrs O. F. Dysle, Marietta.
O., visited Harry Hahn from Tuesday
to Friday. The Dysles and Mr.. Hahn
have been camp.mates at Manitou
Beach, Mich, for the past eight years.
While here Mr.. Dysle purchased a
Pilot touring car which he drove back
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07
THE PALLADIUM AND VACATIONS

Subscribers Of the Palladium leaving the city DUR
Ing the summer months should arrange to have the
Palladium follow them Addresses will be changed
frequently as may be required without extra charge
Orders may be given any carrier Of the Palladium
sent to The Palladium circulation department
Subscriptions less than month payable in adj
vance at time subscription is given. Subscriptions
must be entered for definite period. The Palladium
be responsible for made if instructions
given the telephone.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

picnic, to be held Saturday at Jackson
park, are asked to be in attendance
as are all other old students, teachers
and patrons Of that school The
Hoover family reunion will be held
August II, at the home of Mr.. and
Mrs. Joseph Howard, three miles
north of town. A cordial invitation is
extended to all members of the family
to be present.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07
Censoring the Cables

Carl Alderman and William Bayard Hale,
at Berlin, have joined in protest
|of newspaper men against the censoring of cable
news by the British government These men are
trying to send to America the news of the war
las seen in Berlin and on the German fronts.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-08-07

home. w. E. Jones attended the
Weaver family reunion at Piqua. We'd
nesday.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1916-05-20
FLY TRAPS MADE
BY SCHOOL BOYS
one Hundred Twenty Seventh Grade
Boys in Manual. Training De-
partment Of keokuk
Schools Busy.
TO BE READY AT ONCE
These Instruments Will Help to In
crease Mortality Of Pests Which
Are 50 Numerous
at This Time.

There will be 12O homes in Keokuk
In which fly traps will be installed in
a short time These traps are being
made in the manual training depart
ment Of the Keokuk schools under
the supervision OF IL M. Mcclure,
and are the work OF the boys Of the
seventh grade. The traps are OF
approved designs, and will take care
Of the dangerous little insect which
is being swatted and trapped all
over the country at this time.
The traps are about foot high
and have an inside cone OF screen
wire. The fly makes his entrance IN
to the trap through the small open
ing, but once he gets into the otner
compartment he seems at a loss 10
know what to do and stays.
AS one of the boys told MT. NC
Clure, the reason why the fly does not
turn around and fly through the
same hole by which he entered the
trap is because there Is NOBODY
home in the f1y's head.
1t has been suggested by the ma
tfonal committees in charge or the
campaign against the flies that ny
trap placed at ever garbage can
would help to exterminate the lily: IL
has been figured out by experts that
600 fly eggs increase to 16,2O0,0UO,ooo
eggs in a month. From this can De
seen the necessity for catching these
pests. One fly increases to 27,ooo.ooV
male flies and 100000 female mes
in one month. It takes less than "a
hours to hatch. a fly egg and the ines
reach maturity in less than ten DAYS
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1916-05-20
Credit Due for Babv Week.

Certainly, the baby had the center
of the stage this week in Keokuk.
Every program given in the observ-
ance of Baby Week was of very
high order, full of interest and to the
point. Such successful results do not
come by accident; somebody worked
and worked hard. The Somebody
who worked for weeks to get the ma
terial together out OF which the pro-
gram evolved was Miss Nettie Youn-
ker and every minute during this
week she was at work. Mrs. G. M.
Rich, the visiting nurses, the girls OF
the Baby Welfare league, Miss Laura
Alton and many others worked hard
and faithfully, but the results paid
The cooperation Of the physicians,
the musicians, the kindergarten teach
ers and the mothers who got up the
costumes for the little folks who
danced and gave the play, was all
greatly appreciated by the workers.
We sometimes take the Y. w. c. A.
building as matter Of course as we
do the air and sunshine; we need it
and use it, forgetting to give thanks
for it. The contribution of the use
of this building and of the assembly
room Of the high school with its NOV
ing picture apparatus made all the
plans possible.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1916-05-20
woea Of the Printer.

Paris. Mo-, Mercury: The man VINO
wants his job printed in ten minutes,
and doesn't call for it in ten DAYS, OF
the merchant who brings in an az on
press day and wants position LOT l.
are responsible for many OF the
woes of the printer and cause nun
to make mistakes that will worry MN
for weeks, but other distractions
creep into his unhappy life and cause
him to do things, which, while they
may bring mirth to an unsympatneuc
public, bring only humiliation to MIN
That's the reason he deserves pity,
when as was the case this week, a
funeral notice OF the regulation klna'
printed in the Appeals job depart.
ment, appeared with the concluding
sentence reading, friends and &C
quaintances cordially invited to at
tend" There might have been tuner.
ais toward which the printer could
In all sincerity. have expressed sucn
sentiment, with cordially" In smali
caps. but not In this instance, hence
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1916-05-20
When Liver Was Free.

Knoxville Express: Des Moines
Plain Talk tells OF the good old days
Of early Des Moines, when the butch
ers gave away beef liver in the SOS
and COS. oh, shucks, The Express
feels satisfied that Knoxville and 9TH
er towns in the tall grass enjoyed this
hepatic generosity much later than
that-probably up into the late COS.
And it may be said in passing that
free liver was not to be sneezed at in
those days. when steam coal was
called slack and the poor and 9TH
ers willing to live under the odium OF
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1916-05-20
Must Produce Yesterdays.

Kewanee Star-Courier: Every day.
YOU hear a great deal about the
paper shortage these times, and no
one knows better than the newspaper
folks how very high priced news print
is. Germany is solving the paper
shortage in novel and characteristic
manner. One con buy daily paper
in Germany only by returning the
copy of the day before. to be sent
hack to the factory to be cleaned and
made over into stock. In this way the
naper supply can be maintained in
def,nitely. 1t is rather inconvenient,
mn doubt. to produce yesterdays
naner. but it is a great deal better
from the standpoint of thrift than
hnrning the paper in the furnace.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1916-05-20
STREET MEETING IS
PLANNED NEXT WEEK
Daniel A. Polling Of Boston viii Speak
Thursday Morning for Sut-
fraQe Cause.

The first street meeting in conneo-
ton with the equal suffrage campaign
will be held on Thursday morning,
May %, when Daniel A. Polling OF Bos-
ton will speak. He will speak from
an automobile at half past nine
o'clock at Third and Main streets,
making other speeches on upper Main
street later in the morning. Mr.. Pol
ing is associate president and national
citizenship superintendent OF the
United Society Of Christian Endeavor
and speaks In that capacity on the
subject of Citizenship. He is young
man and said to be a very gifted ora
tor and one who is able to hold tho
closest attention of his hearers even
on a street corner.