The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1916-10-11
FINEEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry-Go-Round.

Faith an now Wilson's for pro
Itection. Four year agone he was agin
1t, for it was agin the constych0oshun.
Now. that he is for it, that immorta!
instrument has also changed Its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
!. "But I've good company. Bryan an
Harrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some ~ thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're good man,
but ye make me dizzy says Bryan,
1eppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
MIN for the woods. I've a ginywine
Faygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
thrown him a Cocked-Hat ~ the vim
tage of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL says Garri-
son. How does it suit?' he axes,
"'Fine,' says Wudthrow, 'barrin' a
few changes Yell redraw it, he
says, to PROVIDE says he, 'volun-
tary universal service in a Federal
Milishy,' says he, controlled be the
States says he; an recruited be-
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. tt
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe both,' he
says; AN the ammynition,' says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay, be-,
fore / decide the daytales, for it's mel
|j'ooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me off,
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
I? Garrison means, layin' on his back,
AN gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
'ye,' says Wudthrow. I've a neaf-real!
!raygrit at losin' you,' he says. And as
Harrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry;
lGo-Round plays side step. !:
"'F'what ~ the Navy?' says Ktchin.,
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-i
WHERE says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept in Montany, where we need no.
Navy says he, and in St. Louey,
where it sfud be the biggest in the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bill yell pass
says he.
"'But this same is the Raypubli-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin' Yell
go an pass it, says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Heoray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
L Dream says Kitchin. If l liver
drank. I'd t'ink l was boozed,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off,
allow about the Army bill? axes
Hay.
Thorough an instant preparation
for detinse must be the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic rislution in his
eye.
"I have here BILL says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase iv five hundther
men year for twinty year. he says;
AN amynishun for six hours ackshun,'
he says, twill make us safe from,
Madagascar, measles, muckrakin',
milit-rism and martial infidelity,' he
says, AN we'll catch Willy before he
dies av he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
"'Embrace me- says Wilson. on
Hay-afther all preparedness is
,matther iv the hea% an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
job? he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'Divil wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otto service in so bravAy sipportfA'
me policies he says, in all their
phrases he says, I make judge iv
ye'he,' says he, as we'll as yer frind
that We put in the JOKER says the
Prisidint. 'Howly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Ph'what does this mean at all
at alp they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the President, AN
ye go all through me train iv thought
before We come to the pork car says
he. Are We on? axes the Apostle Nv
Common COunsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors, fall
ing off. An the Merry Go-Round plays
Wilson Waltz, (Which ye know,
Jawn, is wan step forward, two steps
back, hesitate an sidestep). An Tu-
multy goes out to spread the glad
tidin's that the preparation p'rade will
be led be the President in person.
"How does he save his facet" asked
Malumphy.
"Wid his mouth" responded Finne-
gan dryly. ...s... ... ......-, -,s
There's i've hundred different
kinds of pen points sold here and the