Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-11-25
IN DAYS OF OLD
HUBBY WAS BOLD
Now and Then He Said, wife,
Well Done, Thou Faith
full One"
BY DOROTHY DIX

once upon a time there was Mar
ried Man who went about boosting his
wife as a Model of all of the Virtues.
Il tell you / have Some Little
Wife, he was wont to say, land how
l was ever Lucky enough to obtain
this Treasure keeps me guessing.
"As an Economist, she makes
the Late Lamented Hetty Green
look like a Waster and a Spender. She
is not one of those Foolish Wives who
blow in their Husbands hard learned
money on Wicked extravaganza, but,
on the contrary, she makes every one
of my little old Iron Men work over
time for her, as she chases the Elusive
Bargain to it's Lair and captures it,
Everything we have got in Our House
was Marked Down from S1.00 to $O.99
and through her thrift l shall doubt
less some day enter the Millionaire
Glass.
Nor is her management her Only
Good Quality" the Man would con-
tlnuei as a Wife and Mother she
would take the Blue Ribbon in any
Family Contest. She never considers
herself when the children and | are
concerned, and the Sacrifices she
makes on the Altar of her Home en-
litle her to rank among the Female
Martyrs.
She is also marvel as a Cook,
and the Only Reason that we have
Corned Beef and Cabbage for Din
ner three times a week is because
Simple Food is so much Better for the
Digestion. 1t is True that we have
Much Delicatessen Stuff on the Table
but that is because My Wife has Fig
z
Bought Ready Cooked Cheaper than
1t can be Prepared at Home.
Still More Praise
Although my Wife is such a Good
Manager and so Domestic, she is not
one of those Women who Always
the Kitchen and Sterilzed Baby Food
| for she finds Time to attend the
theater, go to Bridge Parties nearly
every day, and drop in to Tea Dances
She considers that it is her Sacred
Duty to do these things so she may
bring Fresh Interests home with her
to Entertain Me-"
Upon hearing These Words all of
the other Married Men would be
filled with Bitter Regret that thev
did, not get this Paragon, but it
made the Women very sore, and at
last one of them who had the Cour-
age of her Curiosity went to the Wife
Tell u.s." she said to the Woman,
what Charm you have used to Hyp-
notize your Husband into always
Singing your Praises, while our
Husbands do nothing but Knock
our Faults. for we do not perceive
that when it comes to a Display of
Domestic Virtues that you have
ANYTHING on the balance of u.s."
MY Recipe" replied the Wife.
''is very simple one. I merely
always Call by Husbands Atten-
tion to my Virtues and keep Silent
, about my Weaknesses, whereas YOU
| tell your Husband about your Mis-
! takes, and put the Soft Pedal on
your Achievements.
Thus, when ] save Fifty Cents
I beat upon the drums to Celebrate
1t. but when I get buncoed out of
Five Dollars, ] do not Mention it,
When ] sew a Button on my Hus-
bands Shirt. ] tell him how sweet
1t Is of me to do It, and he is filed
with Gratitude. but ] blame it on
the Laundry when he Gets Hold of
ono with no Buttons on it. Also 7
Impress It on his Mind that every
thing I do do for His Sake, and
this Simple Expedient enables me
to Always Do as I please. Follow
these Rules and you will change
your Husband from a Critic into a
Cladue."
Moral: This Fable teaches that
Wife writes her own Price Tag.