Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1916-10-07
FINNECAN's PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry-eo-Round-


Faith an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
it, for it was agin the constychooshun-
Now that he is for it. that immortal
Instrument has also changed its
mind He makes me head shwim-
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison. the civil service sDimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some iv thin
turned sick
''eGod bless ye-ye're a good man.
but We make me dizzy says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and rum
MIN for the woods I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye.' says Wudthrow
THROWN him Cocked-Hat iv the vim
tage of 1860.
Here's the Army BILL says CARR
son. How does it suitT he axes,
Fine says Wudthrow, 'barrin'
few changes Yen redraw it, he
says, to provide says he, 'volun-
tary universal service in a Federal
Milishy. says he. controlled be the
states, says he; AN recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. 1t
shud be nayther too large nor too
SMALL says he; or maybe bOth,' he
says; AN the ammynition,' says. he.
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore 1 decide the daytaIes. for it's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow
"'StOp the music and lave me off,
says Garrison Are We crazy or am
II Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye.' says Wudthrow. I've a near-reaI
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays side step.
"F'what iv the Navy says Kitchin.
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist. 'ex-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and in st. Louey.
where it shud be the biggest in the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he. so
here's the Dimycrat bill yen pass,
says he.
"'But this same is the RaypubIi-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin'. Yen
go an pass it. says Wudthrow. pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray.' says the black
Republicans votih' for the bill. DO
1 dream says Kitchin. If 1 liver
drank. I'd t'ink 1 was boozed.' says
Kitchin in a thrembiin' vice. And he
falls off.
allow about the Army billT axes
Hay.
Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
eye.
have here a BILL says Hay. pro
s vfdin's for an Increase iv five hundther
men a year for twinty year. he says
AN anynishun for six hours ackshun,
he says, twill make us safe from
Madagascar, measles, muckrakin',
milit-rism and marital infideIity,' he
says, AN wen catch Willy before he
dies av he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
Embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay-afthet all preparedness is a
matther iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a job?' he axes, stoppin' short like.
'Divil a wan says Hay. Thin.
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
OlIG ScINlCe LII 81 OTdNcIy SlppOEIlU
me policies he says, in all their
phrases he says, L make a judge iv
ye'he.' says he, 'as well as yer frind
thai We put in the Joker says the
Prisidint. 'Howly Saints, says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Ph'what does this mean at all
at all? they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the President. AN
We go all through me train iv thought
before We come to the pork car says
he. Are We on?' axes the Apostle iv
Common Counsels.
"sWe're on says the Sinitors, fall
ing off An the Merry Go-Round plays
a Wilson Waltz. (Which We know
Jawn, is wan step forward. two steps
back. hesitate an sidestep). An Tu-
nudity goes out to spread the glad
tidin's that the preparation p'rade will
be. led be the President in person.
How does he save his face?" asked
Malumphy.
avid his mouth" responded Finne.
gan dryly.