The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1916-09-29
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BALKAN.

"Iave me ride ye,' says Balaam, an
I'll make ye the biggest ASS In the
wurld.'
"'Great,' says the ASS; what dye
feedT
"'Pork,' says Balaam.
"'Me savior says the ASS.
$50 BALKAN mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
"'Phwat is itf says Balaam.
"'Snakes,' says the ASS; ut looks
like the jawbone Nv me mother
"'G'wan,' says Balaam, hittin' the
ASS a clip, its me furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwat's ut for?' axes the ASS.
"'Ut definds the nashun,' says Ba-
laam.
"'Howr says the ASS.
"Faith;' says Balaam, ut takes a
bigger ASS than you to know that.
Lave 1t to Brine says Balaam to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on medita-
tim.
"'Hee, haw,' says the ASS, balkin'
an kickin'.
"'What nowT says BALKAN.
"Divil Jackass ever seen the like
says the ASS. ut could be frog
says he, for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind; an It's mostly
mouth says the ASS. ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very Crooz Red, or Niagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again,
says he. 'Hivins, have been drink
imp screams the Ass to Balaam.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
it's mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, In the
service Nv Mankind says BALKAN to
the Ass, touching him up. An the
ASS shuffles ahead, wavin' his ears In
admiration.
"'Hee-haw! Hee-hawr says the
Jack, rearln' up wild his eyes bulgin'
"'Phwat's grippin' We nowT says
Balaam, impashunt like.
at dunno says the ASS. ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with So
cialist Crew. he says.
"''Tis me Ship BILL says BALKAN.
Side step to the right he says;
side step to the left says he, well
tin him. Back up says Balaam,
near wrenchin' off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
laam wild shower Nv blows; an the
ASS goes on thremblin'.
'Wah-heel Wah-hee! Wah-hee 7
says the Jack, shyin' SO he near
threw his rider.
"T'll learn We to shy at me Naval
Bill says BALKAN, lar-rupin' the
haste so he cud scarce stand.
aye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack in
a coarse whisper.
aye ASS says Balaam. Don't We
know that amy cloes is betther nor
nakedness? G'wan,' says BALKAN, In
tones Nv thunder. So the poor basic
lopes on, limpln' wild pain.
1--WE not time to tell We all the ad-
ventures they had, but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros
sim a ditch on wan term plank,
which made even BALKAN unaisy.
Iviry time the Jack kicked, he got
short rations an wallop. So when
the journey was near over, the poor
haste was all In, and far too proud to
fight. Any JackvAss can be that
when he's licked.
EVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into q harmony like a Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gaspipe wild the
feet.
"'Phwat ails We nowT calls BALKAN,
clubbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivver did l pass the like yells
the Ass, sweating and thremblin'. ut
says ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwat
is ut?' screams the Ass to BALKAN,
feebly Vaughn his ears.
"T dinno phwat ut is meself,' says
BALKAN, but / know phwat ut's got,
Balaam says.
"rPhwat?' axes the poor ASS.
alive hundther thousand votes,
says Balaam, wild pious air. 'G'wan,
We big ASS, an doant We argue wild
an Idaylist,' says Balaam to the ASS.
1--WE can't pass ut In the dark,
pleads the Ass. Lave us wait for
light means the ASS, weepin'
INK says Balaam. There's hot
time comm an the votes'll Spite.
Do We thurst for sixteen more years
in the wilderness? Giddap, says he,
purgIn' yer heart says Balaam, Nv
viry thought that's selfish says Ba-
aam, or personal chants BALKAN to
the poor ASS ticklin' the Jacks Stats
wild a couplin' pin.
"By this time the ASS was so wore
out wild his ardyous labors, that he
knew no more than BALKAN himself.
So, wild one despairin cry, he dropped
his ears, as he an his master stumbled
forward into the dark"