The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-03-10
THE HIRED MAN

The Hired man was out in society
a little while one day this week about
so miles from Caldwell, when he was
told of money-getting performance
some church folks were going to work
off on the incredulous and unsuspect-
ing church with its subsidiary asso-
citation. 1t seems they are behind with
a bunch of paydays for their pastor
and a cluster of bills have gone over
three frsts of months. This pastor
was talking to me about the novel
thing his women members were going
to spring. He stated that they were
going to dress up like kiddies. Were
going to charge rs cents admission
and put the proceeds into the treas
urv of the church. Not in the Potter's
field fund, but in the treasury. These
good women, some of whom have
grand children old enough to walk,
some of whom would faint if the min
lister should happen to say sex" in
his sermon or outline the difference
between the gender that some of them
possess and the sex they claim to
have, are going to abridge their ap-
parel at the bottom and then put on
something additional to make them
look like little girls elsewhere about
their anatomy. 1t is not necessary now
to see which town on the Short Line
is nearest so miles from Caldwell, and
then some editor there copy this. for
used the $50 mile" term for the
simple reason that it is not 50 miles
at all, but it is not in Caldwell by a
Jug full. They are going to do this
stunt prayerfully and as unto the Lord
for this pastor dropped the hint that
some of those engaged in the show
have vowed to do all things as unto
the Lord, and to do them heartily, so
their hearts are to enter into this deal.
Wgysky, hgfy, Uuyg enygh ohgynite
sfhski uvo snugtyets pookysheye ethm
msqzyski-and then some. Caldwell
women can procure the program by
writing to sister GTRWSQYSKIQ,
and the same Lord having jurisdiction
here that overlooks matters there,
makes it certain that his pleasure
would be equal to that He will have
there.
The Hired Man misses one of the
sweetest things of yore. the beautiful
and euphoneous Pig Latin he used to
hear about the streets and in the
house. When he first same here Il
years since there were a lot of little
girls talking this Pig Latin every
where. Little boys delighted in it,
but it has disappeared. A little of il
is left around in the smaller places
like Nampa and Weiser and Payette
and Middleton, but for us it is lost
art. The little girls who talked it lC
years since glide along down the
streets now with go-carts and l0-cent
loaves of bakers bread. The laddies
who INDUCED in Pig Latin 10 years
ago, are now getting promoted from
the delivery wagons to the counters
and from the keep busy" jobs in the
stores to be credit men or partners il
growing mercantile institutions. Nc
sooner did some of these little dam
sells get married than they threw Pts
Latin to the winds and became all o.
a sudden sedate and austere, frownine
down every sort of pleasantly likt
this, while today their kiddish hus
bands would give anything most t.
hear them break forth with hilarious
and raptuous glee, reeling off Pit
Latin as they used to when they play
ed together on the school ground no
knowing or caring about the gulf fix
ed between one another by old dam
modesty. If some of these splendid
young wives will fix up their usual fin
supper one of these evenings and jus
as their partners of joys and sorrow
the joys far outweighing the sorrows
enter the door, they plant kiss RICH
where kisses belong, and tell in Phi
Latin what they have for supper
there will be no thought of sending
for a mind specialist neither an eye
ear, nose and throat doctor, but oil
times will begin to ooze in from ever
window, gentle zethers mingled wit
sweet bird songs float through tn
your credit is good here" furnitur
get your names on our ledger" rug
and all the title remains ours unit
the final payment" music instrument
will strike up a melody and the pic
ture of Napoleon in exile will turn ii
face to the wall. of itself, and eve
Judas in the Last Supper" will wal
until your little taste of Hcaye
blends into your happy meal. Tr
il girlies, try it.