Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-28


painting their legs to fool policemen
whose orders are to suppress too much
display OF baroness. One wonders who
does the painting for the fat ones.
"WHEN married Helen Morton !
loved her as much as man ever loved
any woman" says Roger Bayly, who
has been sued for divorce by his heir
ess wife. Professor, little slow
music. Such n beautiful sentiment,
so rarely voiced among our best peO-
pie, should not go unrewarded. And,
besides, ROg admits. he needs the
money.
! WHAT has become Of the old-fash-
Toned clothier who used to throw in a
pair of suspenders with every suit?
WELL, no matter how the railroad
crisis eventuates. the GOO brotherhood
| representatives and the railroad presi-
dents and managers had a pleasant
visit at the national capital.
WHENEVER a woman kills a man
below the Mason and Dixon line she
pleads the unwritten law. In the north
she employs a lawyer who knows the
art Of makeup and has her fix up to
| win the sympathy of the jurors. And
she usually succeeds.
WHO knows but that Germany
has laid out a FOHte on the bottom of
the ocean over which she is dragging
her submersible freighters on wheels
Stranger things have happened. At
any rate the TeutOns have framed
some means of getting the boats by
the British Warships and nets that Is
getting the enemy's mamie.
Country Town Sayings-Ed Howe.
The newspapers say the people de-
mand a thing long before the people
have thought of it.
No use grumbling; people won't act
to suit you.
Intuition is usually suspicion.
Your best luck comes while you are
behaving best.
Many man who is not perfect is a
tolerably good fellow, and useful in a
modest way.
To be mated is mans natural condi-
ton; when he remains a bachelor
some woman has scared him
English sparrows are the proletariat
of the bird world. And how they
multiply
A mans first intention is to be fair;
while he is in this humor, make him
sign a contract.
TOM Marshall isn't going to be mott
fed Of his nomination for vice presi-
dent until Sept. Il. His friends are
putting the date far enough forward so
that he won't have an excuse for claim
ing that he didn't know that he was
supposed to repeat. 1t is becoming more
manifest with each succeeding national
election that men are prompted purely
by party loyalty in accepting vice pres
idential nominations. The only saving
feature of the Office is that invariably
it seeks the man. For instance. the
republicans this year had to have a
man with whiskers to make the ticket
harmonious piCtOrially. That's the chief
reason for Fairbanks
ALONG with the pleasant change in
weather comes the cheering announce
ment that congress may adjourn next
Friday. Verify, we have much to be
thankful for.
CALL me Charley" pleads Mr..
Hughes to the boys he expects to put
him in the White house. YES" says
l.. e. w, well call you, Charley, and
it comes time to cast our votes"
PERSONS who wear false teeth are (
advised to remove same while travel /
ing over the Ninth street road in auto |
mobiles. Two sets are said to have /
been found recently in the middle of /
that highway.
TERMS of peace announced in Ber- |
lin provide for the retention of Bel |
GUM. which ought to be sufficient ex.
PLANTATION of the care which the en-
pire is exercising in the restoration of I
the cities destroyed in the invasion of /
that country by its armies.
WILDCAT attacked an automobile /
being driven along a country road near
Athens, Wis. The wildcat lost the
battle. 1t isn't necessary to mention
the name of the car
ONE of the candidates for the re-
publican nomination for states atfor-
ney of Cook county says, If he is elect
ed, he will be satisfied with the salary
the Office carries, and will turn all fees
over to the county. Did or did not
Mr.. Deneen make a similar promise
before his election to the same office?
At any rate, Mr.. Deneen appears to
have lived happy ever after.
HALE Holden president of the Bur-
lingtOn, who is spokesman for the rail-
road magnates at Washington, is the
youngest rail chief in America. It is
said when a conference of the presi-
dents is called at the capital these
days those present Join In singing,
'Hale, Hale, the gangs all here"
1T is claimed that the primary cam
palgn in Illinois will cost the candi-
dates, from governor down, more than
S25O0,O00. Which gives rise to the old
Inquiry, who pays?
MISS Vollmer of Davenport didn't
ind any comfort under the shade of
he sheltering Palm il would seem.
She has sued him fnr diNnrnn or, IL. |