davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound would cure it. 1t helped both
the Change of Life and the tumor and
when / got home did not need the doctor.
I took the Pinkham remedies until the
tumor was gone, the doctor said, and l
have not felt it since. / tell every one
how l was cured. If this letter will
help others you are welcome to use it. /"
Mrs. q. H. BEAN, 525 Joseph Avenue,
Nashville, Tenn.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, pure remedy containing the
extractive properties of good old fash
ioned roots and herbs, meets the needs
of woman system at this critical period
of her life. Try it.
If there is any symptom in your
case which puzzles you, write to
the Lydia e. Pinkham Medicine
Co., Lynn, Mass.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Six Lose Lives in Exclusive
Country Club ConfIagraion

San Antonio, Tex.-Six persons lost
their lives early Sunday in the burning
of the fashionable San Antonio Coun-
try club.
Five of the victims were guests at
the club, which was the scene of sew
eral weekend parties, bringing to-
gether a large number of persons
prominent in social and business cir
cles to the Southwest.
The dead are: Mr.. and Mrs. J. B.
Waltham, Judge J. E. Webb, Homer
Jones, San Antonio; Mrs. Maco Stew
art, Galveston; Helen Cockrell, maid
at the club.
The fire had its origin in a collection
of paint stored in the basement of the
three-story frame clubhouse. 1t spread
quickly to stairway leading to the
first floor and rapidly communicated
to the other two floors above.
About Is guests asleep in the build
ing had narrow escapes, many jumping
from the second story windows, so
quick was the spread of flames.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
A Cartoon Jab From India.

Many nations have expressed their
bitterness against Uncle Sam for
making money out Of the war" We
have been held up to ridicule impair
TALLY by England, Germany, Greece,
France, Italy and Japan. Now India
may be added to the list. In cartoon
from Hindi Punch, of Bombay, repro
duced by Cartoons Magazine, Uncle
Sam and Japan are seen, each with
large money bags under his arms. The
caption reads Make Hay While the
Sun Shines" and underneath we read:
Jap: 'I'm filling my bag with In
dian silver while the Austrians and
Germans are busy with the war. And
your"
Yankee: Ditto, ditto. And some
thing more. I'm filling mine with the
gold of the allies, besides"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
German AviatOrs Defeat Three
Of Fleet Of Five Raiders.
LONDON ADMITS Loss OF DESTROYER
Berlin Claims No Damage Done by
Bombs Crews Of FIiers Made
Prisoner - Patrol Sunk.

Berlin, by wireless to Sayville, N.
Y.-Not fewer than three British hy-
droplanes, among them fighting aero
plane, were brought down Sunday by
German guns on and about the island
of Sylt, during an air raid on North
ern Schleswig, according to German
official communication. The crews
were taken prisoner.
Bombs dropped in the district Of
the Hoyer water gate did no damage,
says the statement, which follows:
"From two ships, which were ac-
companied by cruiser squadron and
flotilla of destroyers, five English
hydroplanes started for an attack
against the German aeronautic estab-
lishments in Northern Schleswig.
"Not fewer than three of them,
among which was fighting aeroplane,
were forced down by the defensive
service on and about the island of Sylt.
The occupants of the machines, who
were made prisoners, are four English
officers and one non-commissioned off
Ger.
"Bombs were thrown only in the
district of the Hoyer water gate. No
damage was DONE"
London - Three British aeroplanes
which took part in raid on German
airships in Schleswig- Holstein Sunday
are missing.
A dispatch says that two German
armed trawlers acting as patrols were
sunk by the British outside Sylt har-
bor.
The admiralty also reports that a
torpedo-boat may have been in collis-
ion with another of its own feet in the
venture. No fears for the crew are
entertained.
The following. official statement was
issued:
can attack by British seaplanes was
delivered Sunday morning on German
airship sheds in Schleswig- -Holstein
eastward of the island of Sylt. The
seaplanes were conveyed to their rem
devious close to the Greman coast by
an escorting force of light cruisers and
destroyers under Commodore Tyrwhitt.
"Three of the seaplanes which took
part in the attack are missing. The
destroyer Medusa was in collision with
the destroyer Lavrock and it is feared
that in the stormy weather which pre-
vailed the Medusa may have been lost,
but no misgivings are felt as to the
safety of the crew. Two German
armed patrol vessels were sunk by our
destroyers.
"No detailed report has yet been re-
ceived, but from Danish press dis
patches it would appear that this
operation, which was carried out with
in the enemy's waters, achieved its
object"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Hunt Elusive Blue Tiger.

San Francicso-A quest for the blue
tiger-a beast which has been termed
the Flying Dutchman of Zoology" !"
because many scientists and explorers
have seen it, yet none ever has been
caught---will begin Wednesday when
Roy Chapman Andrews and Mrs. An
drews sail from San Francisco for the
Orient on the liner Tenyo Maru.
Somewhere in Central Asia or Tibet
they expect to capture specimen of
their elusive quarry and to make an
exhaustive study of zoology for the
American Museum of Natural History.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Fortune Goes to Worker.

Seattle = Harold Richard Clements,
10, who has been working in a depart
ment store at a small salary, has been
notified by Arthur Payne, attorney, of
Louisville, KY, that he has inherited
the So, 900, 900 estate of his grand
mother, Mrs. Mary Clements, who died
there recently. Young Clements is the
son of Harry Curtis Clements, formerly
president of the Denver Traction COM
pany, who died nine years ago. When
Mr.. Clements died he left the bulk of
his estate to his mother, only a small
allowance going to his son.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Army Short of Airmen,

San Diego, Cal.-There are no quail
ified military aviators available here
for duty with the expeditionary forces
in Mexico, according to Captain Cowan,
commandant at the North Island train
ing institution, commenting on the re-
quest of General Pershing for eight
fliers. "We have not got them to
send" said Captain Cowan. "There
are four student aviators at North
Island who are ready to take their
junior military aviators' tests, but
thus far none of them have had exper-
fence in cross-country flights. /"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

Hanford's Balsam. Economy In
large sizes. ADV.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Acute Hearing.

A number of candidates for the po-
lice force were being questioned by a
doctor the other day, and pretty stiff
examination it was, too. At length it
came to testing the mems sense of
hearing, and said the examiner:
do you see this watch?"
"Yes."
'Do you hear it tick?"
Certainly; quite plainly"
stand further back"
Candidate retires three PAGES.
'Do you hear it now?"
"Yes."
"Well, you must be smart, for the
watch has not been going for week"
Chicago Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Paper Cost Is Serious.

Washington, d. ca resolution for
an investigation of the news print pa
per situation by the department of
Commerce was introduced in the house
by Representative Copley. Much of
the supply of raw material for print
paper that came from Germany, was
cut off by the war. Other material is
being shipped from this country to Eu-
rope for use in the manufacture of mu-
nitions. According to Mr.. Copley the
price of paper has advanced so far that
the lives of many small newspapers
are threatened.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Welsh Product.

q. G.. Grace, president of the Bethle.
hem Steel company, said In Washing
ton.
Though we can get any price we
ask for our munition products from
Europe, we haven't increased our price
to the American government one cent.
"Yet there are people who, in the
face Of this, accuse us Of overcharging
Uncle Sam. These people are as ludi-
crously ignorant as the schoolboy who
was asked:
"'What do we get from Wales?
'Jonahs, the schoolboy answered."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Safety First.

They were watching the boys coast
ing down the snow-covered streets
on their sleds.
"Ah," said the elder of the two men,
that's the sport! Doesn't 1t make
you think of your happy childhood
days?"
NO." replied the other, "it makes
me think how slippery that street is
going to be after awhile and how easy
it would be for you or me to fall and
break an arm or leg while trying to
cross it. Every man should provide
against such contingencies by carry
ing an accident policy. / happen to
have an application blank in my
pocket You'd better sign it now be-
fore it's too late"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

Look here, Hiram" said 81, when
be you goin' to pay me them $S for
pasturin' your heifer? I've had her
now for about 10 weeks"
"Why, 81, ther critter amt worth
morn $10."
"Well, s'posin' I keep her fer what
you owe me?"
mot by a jugful! Tell you what
I'll do; keep her two weeks more and
you can have her."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Ice Is Used In Orchards to Retard
Budding.

Near Luling, Texas, a number Of or.
chardists are trying out a rather in.
teresting plaan Of retarding the bud.
ding of their fruit trees until all dan
ger of damage by late frosts has
passed. The experiment consists of
burying about fifty pounds Of ice
around the base of tree when the
weather becomes mild early in the
season. The supply is replenished at
intervals of two weeks until 1t is safe
to allow the trees to burgeon. Ice is
being supplied to several growers by
a local producer to encourage the test
with few trees. Although consid-
cradle expenditure would be repre-
sented were the scheme carried out
on really large scale, 1t might not
prove excessive If successful in pre-
venting crop losses. Late frosts are
a source Of much anxiety to growers
of early fruits, not alone in the South,
but elsewhere as well.-From the
April Popular Mechanics Magazine.
Hanford's Balsam. Economy In
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
HOW WONDERFULLY RESIN0L
S00THES ITCHING SKINS!

If you have eczema, ringworm or
other itching, burning, sleep-destroy-
ing skineruption, try Resinol Oint-
ment and Resinol Soap and see how
quickly the itching stops and the trou-
BILE disappears. Resinol Ointment is
also an excellent household remedy
for dandruff, sores, burns, wounds,
chafings and for score of other uses
where soothing, healing application
Is needed. ...
Resinol contains nothing Of a harsh
or injurious nature and can be used
freely even on the most irritated sur
face. Every druggist sells Resinol
Ointment and Resinol Soap.-Adv.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Good offers for klamath Wool

klamath Falls, Or, - George Nc
Ginnis, a wool buyer from Red Bluff,
CAL, who buys wool in this county
every year, was in town recently look
ing after business interests. He is
offering 20 cents a pound for coarse
wool for spring deliveries. Sheepmen
hereabouts view the wool outlook with
as much pleasure as last season.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Tender, Also True.

Edythe-Did the duke say he loved
you?
Kate-He said he loved the ground
walked on.
Edythe-Where were you when he
said it?
Kate-Out visiting papa's gold mine.
Pail Mall Gazette.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Hopeless Remedies.

J. P. Morgan said at dinner In New
York:
"The German financial position is
desperate. The remedies proposed for
1t reminds me of the horse-thief.
1.-TWO men were sentenced by vigi.
lance committee to be hanged for
horse stealing, and the rope was
swung from bridge over a river.
"But the first horse-thief got off
The moose slipped, he fell into the
water and swan down stream to safe
ty.
when they came to deal with the
second horse-thief, he said anxiously
as they tied the rope round his neck
"'Make sure O. that moose this time
won't you, gents? | can't SWIM"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Why He ChuckIed.

Mrs. Peck-Josephus, what in the
world do you mean by chuckling to
yourself in that manner?
Josephus-It says here that 1872
wives brought divorce cases into court
and not single husband appeared
to protest.-Judge
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Proof In Leanness.

There was once an old Garrabost
crofter who, when giving evidence be-
fore the crofters' commission, admit
ted that while he was the owner of
three cows, "the beasts were as thin
as Pharoah's lean kline"
The chairman, thinking to corner
old Kenneth, asked him to say how
lean Pharoah's kline were.
Even 17th-century divine would
have wanted day or two TO think 1t
over. But Kenneth answered at once.
"They were, sir, SO lean that they
could only be seen in dream"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Wilhelm Honors Sultan,

Berlin, (By wireless to Sayville. N.
Y.)-The semi-official Overseas News
agency has received advices from Con-
stantinople confirming reports that
Field Marshal Won Mackensen had
reached that city on mission, given
him by Emperor William, to pre-
sent to the Sultan the Field Marshal's
baton which the emperor had bestowed
upon the Turkish ruler. The dispatch
describes the Field Marshal's recep-
tion as most enthusiastic.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Villa General Is Killed.

Queretaro, Mexico - General Pedro
Gozman and 22 others, all members of
Villas band, were killed in battle in
the neighborhood of Laguna and Dina
mita Sunday. In this action between
government forces and bardits 10 pris-
oners also were taken and summarily
executed. This information came in a
message to the minister of war, Cen
eral Obregon, who was informed that
the campaign against the Villistas was
being waged with the utmost vigor.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
WILLING to Chanue.

There is very excellent reason
why girl shouldn't smoke"
"What?" she demanded
makes her less agreeable to kiss"
"Well, I'll wait till somebody wants
to kiss me-" she said, when they do
I'll give up cigarets--and take to q
pipe" "-Woman's Home Companion.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Paradoxical Result.

"How did prohibition work out in
Crimson Gulch?"
Fine said Bronco Bob. "The boys
have saved up so much money that
mebbe we'll have to let few saloons
open SOS they can celebrate their
prosperity."-W Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Asparagus Higher; Rhubarb Lower.

Portland - Asparagus was firmer
Tuesday in response to higher prices
in California, and the local market
was advanced to 10 and Is cents
California rhubarb was easier at 81. 65
and 50 per box, according to grade.
Another shipment of Oregon cauli-
flower arrived and it was held firm at
$l.S5 and 81, so per dozen.
There has been an advncei in or
anges in California and higher prices
are looked for on the street in the near
future. A single car of bananas ar
rived in Portland Tuesday.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Buyers Object to High Prices.

Portland - There has been no in
crease in receipts of poultry, but buy
ers are averse to paying the high
prices that have lately prevailed. All
the hens and springs that came in Sat
urday were worked off, but dealers had
to take 16cent price to clean up.
Dressed meats were scarce and firm
The best veal sold readily at IL cents,
and many more could have been
handled. Dealers explain the failure
of dressed pork to keep up with the
stockyard advance in hogs by the in
different quality of most of the receipts.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
For Cash,

"Phe Clymers are determined to
get into society, no matter how much
1t costs"
What have they done now?'
Last year they bought coat of
arms and a family tree for them
selves, and now they're trying to buy
pedigree for their dog"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

Have Healthy, Strong, beautiful Eyes
oculists aud Physicians used Murine Eye
Remedy many years before It was offered as q
Domestic Eye Medicine, Murine is still Com.
pounded by Our Physicians aud guaranteed
BY them as Reliable Relief for Eyes that Need
Care, Try II in your Eyes and In Baby's Eyes-
No smarting just Eye Comfort, Buy Murine
OF your Druggist accept no Substitute, and II
interested write for Book OF the Eve Free.
MURINE EYE REMEDY CO., CHICAGO
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Mind d-Reading.

"Do you think there is any such
thing as mind-reading?" asked the en-
inent diplomat.
"Oh, yes" replied Miss Cayenne. "If
| pay very close attention to what you
say and analyze it carefully, l often
fancy get glimmer of what you are
thinking about. Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Hawaii.

A young man from Honolulu recent
ly visited our city and was introduced
to the manager of fight club. The
manager shook hands with him and
said; Glad to meet cha. How are
yer"
Il just came from there replied
our Honolulu friend.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
A Good Start.

'I am absolutely convinced that my
arguments are correct" said the earn
est man.
"Well," replied Senator Sorghum,
tits a good start. You've got one
man converted, anyhow" Washing
ton Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

"Willie!" called his mother. Come
here this instant! How many times
do you want me to call you?"
"Why, ma" said Willie. where
did you ever get the idea that want.
ed you to call me at all?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Takina No Chances.

Jack is foxy individual. He
proposed to Miss Peaches by wire
less"
What was his idea in that?"
ut leaves the record up In the air,
where 1t can't be read In court in
case he should happen to change his
mind"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
He kneM.

did you ever know that there Ia a
lot of symbolism connected with a
deck of cards? Hearts, for instance,
signify love"
"Yes, | know, Last night | held a
spade flush against four aces and l
had to dig"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
London Wool Sales Now Over.

London - The wool auction sales
closed Monday with offerings of 5000
bales. The selection was good and it
was readily absorbed at firm prices.
The feature of the series was the re-
cent recovery in most grades in antici-
patton of further government orders.
The usual American demand was lack
ing, through difficulty in getting IL
censes. Compared with the last auc-
tions, fine merino and cross-breds
closed unchanged, while other grades
5 to 10 per cent lower. Eighty-seven
thousand bales were sold.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
The Soft Pedal.

A story is told of a certain well
known theatrical manager, who has a
habit of, by hook or crook, getting his
own way.
"That's too loud" he called out one
day, as the orchestra started at a re-
hearsal.
II can't help it, sir" replied the con-
ductor, "it's marked 'forte.'"
"Well," went on the man Of power,
imperturbably, "just make 1t 35,
please"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Just So.

Machinery seems almost endowed
with intelligence"
That's right" replied Farmer Corn
tossel. Sometimes | ketch myself
usin' the same language to our auto.
mobile that use to the mule"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
The GroWler,

Bacon-Your dog?
Egbert-No, my wife's.
did the dog growl when you had
to muzzle him?"
mo, but my wife id."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

hior hs large 6S q
child's head. The
doctor said it was
three years coming
land gave me medi-
Icine for it until I
was called away
from the city for
3 o m Q tim g. OF
course I could not
go to him then, 80
my sister-in-law told
.Ime that. she fhoI1oht
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Very Interesting.

THAT emotional actress says she
cannot descend to anything like gross
business details"
"Humph! She's interested enough
In the gross receipts. Baltimore
American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Plenty Of Color.

"You often see a red roof In foreign
lands. A bit of color helps an artist" +"
"Is 1t color you want? Come over to
my neighborhood, We've got a fine
lot of red gas tanks, louisville Cour-
ier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

do you know, Miss Peaches,
think you must be egotistical."
why, Mr.. Sympe! How can you
imagine such a thing?"
because you have such capital
eyes,"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Never Mixes En-.

Have you studied political econ.
omy?"
mo, sir, Economy is all right In
Its place. I'm one of those who be.
lieve keeping business out of politics"
Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

"There goes old Tightwad, the mil
lionaire. They say he landed in this
town Is years ago with just 81 cents
in his pockets"
"Yes, and he hasn't spent it yet"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
CIeanses the Wounds.

For injuries from rusty nails or any
other external hurts, apply Hanford's
Balsam. 1t should kill any germs,
cleanse the wound and remove sore
ness. Then quick healing will follow.
Adv,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
Similarity,

"Have you any references?"
"Yes, mum, but left them at home.
Like me photographs they don't do me
justice. Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

"a man dot shows off too much
smartness," said Uncle Eben, "gets
so he enjoys about as much conf
dence as a sleight O. hand man in a
poker game. Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

WANTED-Agents. live ones in every locality in
the state. Only Daylight Egg Tester in the coun-
try. No competition. Money-back proposition.
Send $1.50 for tester and explanatory matter and
get busy in your neighborhood. Address X-Ray
Egg Tester 506 Railway Exchange. Portland. Or.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

HOWARD e. BURTON---Assayer and Chemist
II Leadville. Colorado Specimen prices: Gold
Silver, Lead, 81; Gold. Silver. 75c; Gold 50c; Zinc
or Copper. 81. Mailing envelopes and full price list
sent on application. Control and Umpire work 30.
licited. Reference: Carbonate National bank.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31
The tIlaher Education.

Hi-What course is Sarah studying
in that boarding school?
Sill can't remember, but I think
it's osmetics-Stanford Chaparral
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-31

For chronic pain in the back apply
Hanford's Balsam. Rub it on and rub
1t in thoroughly. Adv.