Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-10-11
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Eitiless Publicity
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Meself could tell him. Where's "Pit
less Publicity ?"' says Hughes. In the
Ash Cam says I. Twas all right on
the stump, but in Washin'ton It's diff
fer. The Harp that warst through
Trenton's halls Il name Tumulty.
" hin he bursts into song now he picks
his chune!
'''Tis not that Prisidfnt Wilson Is
less public than Candydate wilson
he's less pitiless. TITS like the show
man. He tells ye all, an more, about
| tn illyfant, but he has mintal res-va-
shune about the spotted baby.
so it is wild Wilson. He's sofned
the hard heart Nv 'Pitiless Publicity
| How about the Postmastersr axes
| the refawrumers. Wen ntver tell ye,'
says the C'mishun- For whyT says
the League "Twid embar'ss tn Ad-
ministhrashun.' says the Cmishun-
And the people laughs. 'Ye fred tn
Hid Of the Cinsus,' says Hughes. 'Ye
Ee,' says Redfeld. He raysined Wild
out bein' axed.' says he. 'Ye lie yer
SELF says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me- an ye gev me place to
politician says Durand. Txac1y
fwhat I said,' yells Pink Whiskers, \
was goin' to fire We anyway, but
niver axed We to raystne,' says Pinky.
An the people roars.
Tell us about all thin Dishurvin'
Dimmycrats, says the people. An
Washin'ton Is sweep be a storm Nv
silence.
But doan't ye think there's no pub
lefty at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet toe.
Gwen grab some land in Vinzu
eely,' says the Ambassydure, 'tem'pri
ly, says he Yell not says Teddy,
'yeu agree to arb1trate,' says he. or
he says, in tin days Dewey1l be there
says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
sint,' says tn. other. Thin says Ted
dy, IN sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. We
agree says he. an divil a bit did we
know how it was for dozen year.
"'We'n have Ferdy Carey alive or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says. On demand iv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released.
An that's all
How Is it now? The greasers
= slaughters twinty at Sanity Isabel
Another Mexican Crisis says the
r headlines. Twinty Americans killed,
they says. The President Calm says
s they. 'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays
Goluf,' says the headlines An the pa
L per goes on:
""The Prisidint's appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader iv the ma
shun gettin' outside " grape fruit. ba.
y con an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee
Whin Docther Grayson announced the
Y bill " fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved-
9 "'The Prisidint is solvin' In privacy
the fateful question, "Will me throa'
last?" The answer Is waited wild fe
verish anxiety
"Mondah the papers says: Nashuna
J Disaster! Sore Throat Feared! Panic
. at the Capital! The Prisidint Calm!
y CONSERVATION was spread among
g all classes today be the report tina
g the Prisidint awoke with a sore throat
q Strong men tainted before they cue
reach the nearest saloon. There II
- talk iv appintin' a day ~ prayer. It /!
4 hoped that Senior Arre-ye-on-thougl
4 will claim that the dead American
: raysisted ixicushun. A high author't.
states that this wud end the crisis
The Prisidint made but wan remark
"Av they'd not been there they'd not i
been kilt
"Choosdah. they says, Hope revives
If President calm. All Phrases ~ Mat
n Their to be considered.
""The anxiety in the Capital was re
t, laved today be the followin' bulletin
- "'"The Prisidint has slight pei
q: foration in the cuticle over the infery
e. ure maximary caused be insect bitir
him wh1n asleep. The patient was to
te proud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson.
e e ct is reported also that Giners
IN Scott will go to the border to bury tn
IS dead and apologize to the insurgint
u He Will axe CarranZy, Wnerner ne WI
IT, accept loan if offered. This is col
to sidered the thrue sutton " the diff
3T Guilty
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motto
III In, Thursdah he writes a note an
Gineral Scott starts for the horde
- Fridah the headlines says Peace
Europe near. President studyin' term
| ho cto no
expected. Capital excited over repor
But we're comforted be bein' tow
the Prisidint will not be bethraye
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah he's considerin' tn A
menyan question, an Mondah he a
vises Grandmothers about sucki
eggs. And another crisis Is past
: go Il iSzru dau A q I