Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-06-16
WOULD CIT SPEECHES
TO TEN.FooT FILM
National Convention Could Be Put on
Under New Plan a. Afternoon Matt.
nee Demonstrations Become Ma.
tionaI Nuisances, With Bryan Chief
Malefaetor.
[By Judson c. Welliver.l

institution of conventions will die.
A9ropos of which, here's an idea.
What's the matter with turning over
the business OF arranging the next
brace Of 42-centimeter conventions to
commission OF moving picture
specialists, who know how to have pep
in every plate?
They'd keep something going on all
the time. The temporary chairman's
speech would be cut down towel,
that requires a little computation. In
Kansas and Ohio the movie censors
have stipulated that kiss may not
exceed ten feet in length-feet OF film,
that means, not OF fabian contact,
transmitted into terms Of time, it
means about a second and a hah, the
movie fiends tell me. | might inter-
ject here some impressions about the
injustice that such elision does to one
Of our honored institutions, but the
fact is that this piece is in exposition
of grand little idea about conserva-
tion OF conventions, not about movie
censorship and morals.
Now. If a ten-foot hunk OF film rep
i cStis-S, says lol wv ScSoHds
of kiss, then five feet stands for one
second; and in order 10 be consid-
crate Of the keynoters I'd let EN- talk
about 500 feet That would be equal
to just one minute; and. honestly,
after hearing discordant keynotes
sounded over the luckless heads OF
mazuma ticket holders for some de-
cades. ! think it's plenty. A national
convention done up in a neat little
roll Of film on that basis could be put
on for an afternoon matinee. There
would be snap and movement to it:
action all the while. It's dollars to the
hole in the doughnut that the party
which advertised a cOnv ntion film
with half that much f.m tor the
temporary chairhan's speech would
play TO standing room while the 300
footer would lose money. -
Just Parade.
Cutting it down in this way. the
convention could be transformed into
a great little parade OF the national
notables We should get glimpse of
Charley Murphy and Tom Taggart and
Roger Sullivan. and Senator Varda-
mans hair, and Ham Lewis whiskers,
and Rooseyelt's teeth. and Ollie James
and Bill Barnes irsrow-
ing crouch. and Bryan's demonstration
of devotion to Woodrow Wilson. There
would be footage enough to throw on
Bob LaFollette doing 9-hour fill
buster speech carefully edited down to.
say. a thousand feet. Colonel House
could be seen furtively breaking into
the back door Of the White House, and
f1itched to the machine we'd be able to
discover Mat he's got on W. W.
Gussie Gardner could display his re-
serve army of the United States in
about eighteen inches and Jim Mann
could declare war on England in a
flash. We should be privileged to OBJ
serve Champ Clark and his houn' dog,
with one verse of the song in
leader" Secretary McAdoo mixing
the columns of figures so as to trans
form deficit into surplus would be
highly illuminating, and Secretary
Daniels taking bumper Of cham
pa gne with the wine mess aboard the
fl yship OF the feet would arouse i'm
rfense enthusiasm and be sure to draw
II heavily from the Army and Navy Club.
But it's unnecessary to go into the
endless list of possibilities that this
tremendous scheme opens for making
a national convention hold 'em.
Think, just for moment. OF the
nation wide ardor with which greet
ing would be extended to 300-foot
speech by temporary chairman, abe
solutely without words. And why
should it contain words? Nobody ever
hears 'em. anyhow. 1t would save the
audience from the necessity of going
out for drink. AND the laryngeal de-
probation suffered by the keynoter
would be reduced to a minimum.
Denominations Become Nuisance.
But the greatest advantage to this
uncopyrighted proposal 10 that 1t
would save us from the inevitable
calamity that will overtake US II the
convention demonstration isn't pruned
down. The c. d. has become one of
our leading American nuisances. Slow
ly but surely it is insidtousy sapping
the nations loyalty to our institutions.
Folks are openly saying that q gov
ernmental system that dncluded con-
vention demonstrations IN the scheme
of things isn't worth Shedding and
dying for; and they're right
Mr. Bryan-Yes, know that de
mortu:s nil, nieL etc. stuff, but stern
duty compe1s me to /. say this-Mr.
Bryan is the chief mAlefactor in this
matter Of demonstrations. He started
the thing in its present rancnus for.cl
in 1896. His convention demonstrated
for an hour or no, and started pace
that human nature can't sustain The
republic,n convention. following few
days later. was under obligatic's tn
raise the time limit, Just as rT'ter
of good faith. Then foui years
ward the record had to be raised
each convent ION il turn. Addip "
few minutes every four year. the
thing finally got up to an h@ur and
thirty-one minutes at. the pror.raE
demonstration for Roosevelt this year
the one. I mean. when his name "
mentioned the first time. ret tie last
time It has ceased tn
sDontaneity. or enthu
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