davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1916-12-15

AUGUST FRIEDRICH FERDINAND
n Won KOTZEBUE, who was born
at Weimer in 1851, and slain at Mann
helm in 1919, was one. of the great men
of his time. He is among the most
celebrated Of German dramatists, and
his originality is attested by the fact
that his works have been a mine for
later writer's of all nations. He wrote
200 tragedies, dramas and farces, and
most of them were successful during
his lifetime. His best-known work is
"The Stranger" which, 30 years ago,
was as popular and famous in the
United States as 1t was in Germany.
He also wrote successful novels, and
a remarkable satire, in which he took
a fall out Of Goethe and Schiller, who
had declined to admit him to their So
ciety.
Kotzebue was a trife too fond Of
satire. When displeased with any per-
son or cause, he was wont to hold the
same up to public ridlcule. This weak
ness led to his tragic death. His life
was adventurous. Much Of 1t was
spent in the service Of Russia, and
once he was banished to Siberia, but
was recalled a year or two later by
Emperor Paul, who squared things by
giving him a fine estate. His later
years were spent at Mannheim, where
he was employed as correspondent by
the Russian government, reporting
upon matters literary, artistic and In
tellectual. In these days such a post
would be considered honorable, but at
that time many people believed he was
Russian spy. When in a satirical
mood he found much amusement in
making fun of the "Bursenschaft"
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1916-12-15

aSon," said the merchant prince.
now that / have taken you into the
arm, hope you win reflect credit on
me-"
REST easy on that score, governor"
answered the gilded youth I'm go
ing to show your out-of-town CUSTOM
ers a time they'll never forget"
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1916-12-15
sxnpathstIe

Il thought your wife said she
never vote for that man"
Its q case Of woman's tender-heart'
edness." rejoIned Mr.. Meekton. People
have said 50 many awful things about
him that he's getting her sympathy.
Henrietta's going to vote for him be-
cause she's sorry for him"
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1916-12-15

The cart yirginians have ever shown penenan.
e. n.r,s,s and chasing the fox behind a good
..cs ~ hounds has always been sport par ex-
esllerre This sport stin exists In the country dis
',ssres. ana h spte % wire fences, now almost
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1916-12-15

, HE visitor to an old plantation In uue-
water Virginia, at Christmas time VIII
no doubt be agreeably surprised to ma
: that many of the old customs survive
n and are regularly observed, not only
on the large plantations, but on the
smaller farms, and even in the negro
quarters. So all get their full measure
- of gifts and turkey.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
bOWSer
:CuddIeSDown:
The Mother.In Is the
Cause of It. F;
BY M. QUAD.
Copyright, 1915. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

On his way home the other evening
M Bowser had his feet stepped on.
his hat knocked or and his ribs poked
by umbrellas, and by the time he
reached hime he was ready for a row.
To add fuel to his feelings be found
that his mother-in-lnw had arrived
two hours before and was comfortably
Installed ut the head Of affairs, while
Mrs. Bowser had gone to bed with u
headache. Formal greetings had scarce
ly been exchanged when he said:
whats all this twaddle about head
ache? When left the house this
morning Mrs. Rowser was NJ chirp as
II cricket. Mighty funny that head
ache should flop her into bed all at
once"
There's nothing funny about 1t"
promptly replied the motherin-law.
she had "A nervous headache. and
told her to go to bed. She looks to
ME as II her nerves were all racked
to pieces. and she ought to go home
with me for year"
That's all nonsense! Her nerves are
all right-as right AS mine. She's prob
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

Once upon time fond mother dis
approved of her daughter marrying.
This was the more awkward because
the young lady had picked the young
man out. Also he had wealth. And
the mother. who was widowed. had not
the wherewithal to furnish her daugh-
ter with the variety Of frocks and
things which her youthful heart crav-
ed. 81 might not object to the man
20 much" said the mother one evening.
''if you would only let me see him.
But here is man whom l have never
set eyes on and yet one whom you in
sist on taking for a husband. don't
understand such secrecyw
The daughter replied, "lf ever in
trOduced him you'd insist on marrying
him yourself"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

drink. This they did and continued
to do for the next hour or so.
Then, they became aware that for
some time there had been several peo-
pie knocking urgently at the door. For
a time they ignored the noise, but the
Knocking became SO insistent that at
last they went to see what was the
matter.
when are We going to open this pub
lie 'ouse?' demanded a husky voice
from outside.
"Open 1t? What for? replied the
sailors. "'yc've bought this ERE place
for ourselves. Answers.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

ably been sioshing around In the rain
and got her feet wet. and II 10 she
will get no pity from me-"
"You are not asked nor expected to
pity her. sir. and II you want any din
ner you'd better eat It now! found
the cook very lazy and iihpudent and
trying to run things to suit herself,
and therefore discharged her. I've
managed to cook little something
myself. however"
"You-you discharged the cook Mt an
hours notice" he exclaimed. with
flushed face
II gave her seventeen minutes to get
out. I'd like to see cook or any one
else trying to walk over my daughter"
Mr.. Bowser sat down to the table
with his gorge In his throat. The
mother-in-luw had thrown down the
gauntlet. and he had picked 1t up.
at is a picked up dinner" she ex-
planned us she brought 1t from the
kitchen. This is one of my Irish
stews. and know you'll like it."
"A stew for dinner.' he gasped AZ
Ills eyes u
Certainly and not much besides, but
IL it's good enough for me it's good
enough for you. I've heard about your
finding fault with your dinners. but
you can either eat this or let 1t alone.
When n man gets the idea that house
Is run for his benefit only it's time he
was brought to book"
n,r,cnr runnnt IN innn I'M OnH
pound on the table and declare that he
was master of his own house and
wouldn't ent Irish stew for dinner If
he starved to death. but to his intense
surprise he not only chung to his chair,
but actually found himself eating the
stew There was something in the Icy
glare of the woman that had n re-
straining influence on his impetuosity.
The coffee was weak and the potatoes
underdone. and he had opened his
mouth to declare that he wouldn't ask
hog to sit down to such meal when
the mother-in-law fastened her eyes on
him and said:
You just keep quiet and be thank
full for what you've got I've known
husbands to make dinner on raw tur.
nips."
The pudding was favored with va
nilla. and had Mrs. Bowser been there
MIR. Bowser would have made her
heart ache for month. but those icy
eyes checked his outbreak and even
compelled him to eat rather generous.
iy. 1t was only when dinner was fin
ished and they had returned to the sit
ting room TINT he determined to shake
of the incubus and assert his indie
pendence.
81 think III 60 over to the club for
two or three hours this evening"" lie
observed us he toyed with the cat
You'll do nothing Of the kind" re-
piled the mother in-law rs she wheeled
ON him. You'll sit right here and see
" doctor is wanted or II there are
any pyramids to he done. The idea of
you lOatinR around IL club when your
wife is almost too sick to speak. II
Won had II soft toe corn the whole
house would have to hover over your
Mr.. B0wser cboked and strangled In
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
ARE you SISTERS ?"

ing house on the hill, "hit's dis err way.
Sanders. up dar In de white house. he
married me fust: den Sis Liza heah
come long. an he 'vorsted me an put
me out heah In de cabin so he could
marry her. But bimeby he 'vorsted
her. and den he fetch her down de hill
to de cabin to make room for dat
young gal. Cora. he done married. No.
sir. us ain no blood kin-I guess ives
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05


The New York Giants were exercis-
!lg in Texas one night when Mike Don
lin crept into the Pullman that was
sidetracked at Waco a long while after
hours, greatly to the rage Of John ].
McGraw. Now, according to Donlin.
there is supposed to be but one COM
plete humiliation for ball player who
goes against the winter training rules.
The culprit is assigned to an upper
berth in the sleeper.
McGrAw was awakened when the be.
lated Donlin climbed into the car. and
says he. lust for that, Mike. you take
an upper"
The manager had forgotten the play
er's previous servitudes and stealths in
the way Of personal transportation
across the country. But Mike Ind not
forgotten. He said merrily: IAN right,
John. I've ridden 'em higher than up
pers and lower than lower" Chicago
News.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

This one has the merit of being true
anyhow: The official pessimist Of a
small city. gentleman who had wres-
tied with chronic dyspepsia for years.
stood in front Of the postoffice as the
noon whistles sounded.
Twelve O'Clock. eh?' he said half to
himself and half to an acquaintance
well. I'm going home to dinner. II
dinner amt ready I'm going to raise
the very mischief. and II 1t II ready
amt going to eat 4 bite.
Evening Post.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
Money Wasted.

THAT young millionaire says he holds
you in the kindest remembrance. He
says 1t WINS at party given by you
that he proposed to his wife"
1.-The affair has unpleasant remlnis-
cences for me. That was very ex-
pensive party. and l gave it in the ex-
pectation that he was going to propose
to one Of my girls kansas City Jour
nal
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
ED WAS uM1Ru1HFuL.
Mark Twain First Proved Il and Then
Dragged About II.

Mark Twain First Proved Il and Then
Dragged About It.
Sam Clemens read more than any one
guessed. At night, propped up In bed
"a habit continued until his death-he
was likely to read until late hour.
He enjoyed smoking at such times and
had made himself pipe with a large
bowl which stood on the floor and had
4 long rubber stem, something like the
r, H:Ish hubble bubble. He liked to
ill the big bowl and smoke at ease
through the entire evening. But some
times the pipe went out, which meant
that he must strike 4 match and lean
far over to apply 1t, just when &c was
most comfOrta ble Sam Clemens never
liked unnecessary exertion. One night
when the pipe had gone out for the
second time he happened to hear the
young book clerk, Brownell. passing
up to his room on the top floor. Sam
called to him.
ED. come here!"
Brownell poked his head in the door.
The two were great chums.
what will you have. Sam?" he
asked.
Come In. Ed. Henry's asleep, and
I'm in trouble. want somebody to
light my pipe"
"why don't you light 1t yourself"
Br0wnell asked.
II would, only knew you'd be along
In a few minutes and would do 1t for
me-"
Brownell scratched a match. stopped
down and applied 1t.
what are you reading, SamT'
"Oh, nothing much--a 30 called funny
book. One of these days I'll write .
funnier book myself"
Brownell laughed.
"No. you won't, SAM" he said. "You
are too lazy ever to write book"
Years later, in the course Of lecture
which he delivered in Keokuk. Mark
Twain said that he supposed the most
untruthful man in the world lived
right there in Keokuk and that his
name was Ed Brownell.-Albert Bige-
low Paine in st. Nicholas.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
Would Go Even Further.

Judge Porter. popular Irish magis-
trate OF some years ago, In sentencing
a notorious drunkard. said:
You will be confined in Jail for the
longest period the law allows, and l
hope you will spend your time In ours
ing whisky"
II will. SIR" promptly answered the
topper. land Porter too"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
All There,

Anxious Highbrow-l want to buy a
book treating in detail of the art of
strategy.
Clerk-Here is the very thing you
want II Is entitled How to Keep a
Good Cook" = Richmond Times-D Dis
patch.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
NIFTY.

The following epigram was written
on DR.. Isaac LetsOm, a once well
known English physician:
When folks are sick and send for me
purges. bleeds and sweats 'em.
II after that they choose to die
What's that to me? Letsom.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

II see nothing unusual about the
typewriter"
Don't you notice the mirror attach.
ment? You have no idea how much
time 1t saves u charlottesville Cou.
rier-Journal
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
Reserved.

Two sailors, retiring from the sea, in.
vested their joint savings in country
i'm.
On rising on the first morning of
their ownership, one suggested they
should 20 into the bar and have q
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
TURNED THE TABLES.
A Show Manager Whs Got Even With
an Obstinate Landlord.


In the book Of "Reminiscences that p.
T. Barnun. the famous Snowman,
wrote forty years ago there IL an
amuss & anecdOte TINT recalls the days
when the one ring circus was the chief
attraction of the long, hot summer.
The incident occurred when we were
at Hanover Court House. In Virginia,
wrote Mr.. Barnum. 1t rained So henv-
lily that we could not perform there.
and Turner. manager Of the show. de-
cided to start for Richmond imme-
diately after dinner.
He was Informed by the landlord
that MS our agent had engaged three
meals and lodging for the whole com.
pany the entire bill must be paid
whether We went then or the next
morning. No compromise could be eff
fectcd with the stubborn landlord. and.
80 Turner proceeded to get the worth
of his money as follows:
He ordered dinner at ~ o'clock.
which was duly prepared and eaten.
The table was cleared and reset for
supper at half past IL. At o'clock
we all went to bed. every man carrying
lighted candle to his room. There
were thirty-six Of us, and we all un-
dressed and tumbled into bed as II we
were going to stay all night. In half
mn hour we rose and went down to the
hot breakfast that Turner had demand
ed ana that we found smoking on the
table.
Turner was very grave. the landlord
was exceedingly angry. and the rest Of
us were convulsed with laughter at the
absurdity of the whole proceeding. We
disposed of our breakfast as II we had
eaten nothing for ten hours and then
started for Richmond satisfied that we
had fairly settled with the unreason-
able landlord.
Content.
Seek not to be rich. but happy. The
one lies In bags. the other in content.
which wealth can never william
Penn.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

Are you sisters?" asked the census
taker of two cOlored women who sat
on the tiny porch of their cabin.
mo. SIR" one of the women replied:
''us amt no blood kin. You see."
pointing to rather pretentious look
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
Safety Strictly First.

Observation-Disclosures,
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
Hclovedhislittlewifey,
But
lie
wouldn't
her
pies
Buffalo rIewa.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
A WlM Life.

The great guiding marks Of a wise
life are indeed few and simple-to do
our duty. to avoid useless sorrow and
to ncqulesce patiently in the inevitable.
W. Lecky.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
Content.

Content.
Seek not to be rich. but happy. The
one lies In bags. the other in content.
which wealth can never give.-William
Penn.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05
Me
Chenoworth
Baronetcy
II Was Lost and Was
Revived
BY r. A. Mitchell

When James Chenoworth, having lost
both father and mother, decided to sell
the homestead and 60 abroad for
awhile he sat himself down to exam
inc q large number Of papers that had
been accommodating for many years. In
deed, there were documents among
them that dated back more than two
centuries. There was tradition In the
family that the first Chehoworth I'm
America had been soldier Of King
Charles under Prince Rupert and. when
the Protector Cromwell prevailed. had
come to America to make new home
for himself.
The family documents were kept in
what was called hair trunk. from be-
ing covered with the skin of some AMI
NAL from which the hair had not been
removed. James Chenoworth spent
many hours over the contents Of the
trunk. reading the papers. In time he
took up paper which he unfolded. 1t
was a fragment yellow with age. The
ink was also faded and almost illeg-
ible. James put 1t in bis pocket. In
tending to try to decipher 1t later, for
words in 1t which he could easily read
seemed to refer to his ancestors. What
he ultimately made out was this:
"At the beginning of the parliament
tary wars James Chenoworth. son and
heir Of Sir Ralph Chenoworth.
out to light for the king. His
Arthur. two years his
the parliamentary forces.
brothers were enough
At the end of the war
having been lost.
went to America.
his home and
When the
Chenoworth
James.
worth
Cheno
Chenoworth resolved that during his
travels he would visit England and
hunt up his ancestral record. Placing
the fragment in fla nortemonnate he
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1916-08-05

one else as Sir James. When the first
excitement attending the couples re-
turn had worn of Chenoworth was in
formed Of what had been going on
during his courtship.
Mrs. Smithson had inherited her es-
tate through the female branch of
Chenoworths. She was aware that
the heir to the title had two centuries
before disappeared in America On
receipt Of copy of Chenoworth's frag-
ment she had taken 1t to herald Of
flee in London. and they had given her
the following reading of 1t when COM
plete:
AT the beginning Of the parliament
tary wars James Chenoworth. son and
heir OF Sir Ralph Chenoworth. went
cut to fight for the king. His brother,
Arthur. two years his Junior. Joined
the parliamentary forces. The two
brothers were enough alike to be twins.
At the end of the war. the kings cause
having been lost. James Chenoworth
went to America. Arthur returned to
his home and succeeded to the title
When the restoration came James
Chenoworth had died leaving a son.
John. The sons of James Cheno-
worth are the rightful heirs to the
Chenoworth title and estates"
Mrs. Smithson's action was explain
ed. By taking James Chenoworth for
q son-in-law she revived the baronetcy
and secured for her daughter the -
tates which were legally hlA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-02-03
BOOKS ARE OPENED FOR LAST QUARTER Prices Quoted on a Parity
 With Present Figures PRODUCTION IS OFF Pig Iron Make for January 33,527 Tons Less Than December-No
 Diminution of Munitions
 Orders From Europe
PRODUCTION IS OFF

Cleveland O., February 2-(Speciall The Iron Trade Review tomorrow will say:
 Firmly entrenched behind a moun- tainous barricade of orders, American steel manufacturers are in a position to view with indifference the assaults of frenzied buyers on third and fourth quar- ter output, but in the furtherance of these policies of co-operative and mutual assistance introduced to the business world by the iron and steel trade, lead- ing manufacturers are now opening their books for third, and in some cases, for fourth quarter business, at prices on d substantial parity with prevailing figures.
 Reservations for third quarter specifi- cations have been accepted recently on basis of } cents Pittsburg for bars and shapes, and $2. for plates In Chi cago the leading interests are understood to have apportioned it's remaining 1916 tonnage to old customers on a basis of 60 per cent of their normal requirements Eastern mills are selling plates at 3 cents for prompt and second quarter spec
 fcations.
 Prospective purchasers of billets or sheet bars would probably have to pay over S36 per ton for prompt shipment Iln pldte mas JuHlpeu to Sf base bOX for early shipment. Warehouse prices have been advanced east and west, plates go- ing up to $2.70 Chicago and s290 New York.
 "Munition orders show no signs of diminishing. A Chester, Pa, ordnance company has asked eastern mills to quote on a portion Of the steel necessary for a French inquiry covering approximately 5, ,O00, 900 large shells.
 European belligerents also have closed for 300,0O0 to 100000 tons of shell steel for last half shipment in the past few days. The French commission closed for over $100,0G0 worth of large swing lathes recently. Pig iron production in January was 316S,0IS tons. compared with 3,201, ,605 tons in December
 The falling off of 33,527 tons is at tributed largely to the strike riot at Youngstown and to some extent to the coke shortage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-02-03
STUDENT HUMOR AT
 THE UNIVERSITY
(Continued from Page One)

The following parody on Casey at the Bat was distributed for the edifcation of the various students: There was ease in Losey's bearing as he
 stepped up to his place; There was grace in Losey's manner and
 smile on Losey's face. Mike ground the ball into his hip and
 through the air it spun, But Losey sailed a scornful smile. The
 trustees said, Strike one.' Again the proxy raised his arm, again the
 spheroid flew; Iris passing strange" sighed Losey.
 The trustees said, Strike two!' And now Mike Denny holds the ball, and
 now he lets it go, And now the air is shattered with the
 force of Losey's blow. Oh, somewhere in this distant land there
 sounds a weary knell, Tho guns are firing somewhere, and some-
 where there is h-l, And somewhere men are groaning from
 diphtheria to gout- But there's naught but joy at U. of A,
 for Losey has struck out!''
 A rather ingenious parody along the idea of who killed cock Losey?" was displayed on one bulletin board. Dr. Losey was familiarly given the cognomen of cock by the students.
 Other sallies too numerous to mention furnished the students merriment throughout the day. The trustees came in for their share of the ouips MT. Steiner of Montgomery, who read the res- olntion sustaining President Denny, being referred to as the man who made the shroud for Cock Losey' with his little resolution" Hugh Morrow and others were referred to as the men who put the steam in the steam roller and Dr. Denny as the man who could put his trust in the trustees.
 But perhaps the most unique tribute of all was contained in a clever slit en- titled. "The Charge of the Slight Brig ade.' a verse of which follows: Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to read and sigh, oh, how he blundered! Trustee to right of him, Trustee to left of him. Trustee in front of him Srored and slumbered, Ranting with fowery speech Haunting with screach on screach- Gee. but 1t was peach One in hundred! Pity the Slight Brigade, Oh, the wild charge he made All the world wonderedu'