The sun., 1916-11-11
THE BEST STORIES

the other day ~ am always saying the
right hin 20 the wrong people. Some
one asked me the other day II I had
known William sharp. mo I said. 'hu,
: once met Wilfrid Blunt and instead Of
laughing my friend began 10 talk serl-
ously Of the Sonncts OF Protcus. nave
no luck" The fact Is that what all wits
need ~ a Boswell Without a Boswell
. is necessary. IL they are 20 he re-
ported. that they must either themselves
ruhlish their good things or keep on re-
peating them until the right listener
hears and notes them. Had there been
n Boswell for Lamh-hut Lamb could
not have endured one.
Having reached that poin, IN this dis
"ussl1 I sailed forth to the haunts Of
men to collect other opinions az 10 the
hest story. one Of them NJ once give
sydney Smiths reply 20 the li.tle girl
who was strokin. the tor'oise'S shell
because the tortoise liked IL" "ts we'll
stroke the dome Of 81. Paul's," said sgd
neY, "to please the dean and ohHrt"r.'
A second choice shakes ms seriously In
my own selection, for II ranks high in
deed among he great anecdotes. Sam
Lewis. the one lender, was at Monte
Carlo. a regular habltue OF the Casino.
one day ne hade every one farewell
81 shan't see you FOR n fortnight or So"
he said I'm of to Rome" Home
they inquired In establishment. Yes
I'm told It's wonderful" Two or three
nights later he was back In his seat at
The gambling table. "Rut what about
Rome?'' his friends asked You can
ave Rome" said Sam.
A third offered a historic dialogue
from the lobby. II seemed that an
NJ p. whom we will call X. somewhat
elevated by alcohol. insulted another
NJ T., whom we will call Y, Ms he passed
through that sacred apartment, by call
ing him "a - fool" Y. stopping, said
severely and pitylngly TO Y. you're
drunk. I shall take no notice OF h
you say" II now I'm drunk" replied
X. but I shall he all right tomorrow,
You're dlrdts a - fool"
Since writing the last paragraph I
have asked I've more friends for their
favorite stories. One Of them at once
gave me Whistler's IN on reading
In the "reminiscences Of W. y. Firth,
r.. A., painter OF 1.-THE Derby Day" that
as a youth II was n tossup which he be-
came-an a%uctloneer or an artist. He
must have tossed up said Whistler
The other choice was American and more
cynical. A mans wife had died. and on
the morning OF the funeral the man was
found sitting on his doorstep whistling
gayly az he whitfield a stick. one Of
the mourners demonstrated. 1t was mos'
unseemly. he pointed out, that the wild
over should he thus employed on the
day on which they were bearing to her
last resting place the remains OF n
30 beautiful in person and in
character. a faithful wife, a fond mother,
an inspiration and model 10 the neigh
borhoOd. Don't o realize that she
was all this?" the scandalized guest In
auired. "Oh. yes" said the husband,
but didn't like her"
And now. having set down all these
examples. l remember what probably IL
the best good thing Of all. For as every
one knows there Is some malisn fate
which has provided that ones memory
shall always be a little late when the
best stories are being %swapped. But
better late than never. Dumas pere, It
may not be generally known. had
African blood. He also was the father
(like the great Sheridan) OF a witty
son. Said Dumas fls ono day Of his
sublime sire: my father IA 30 vain
and ostentatious that he Ia capable Of
riding behind his own carriage to per-
suade people that he keeps a black SER
want" Having recalled that of Dumas
hls. here Is the best story that I know OF
Dumas pere. Perhaps II Ia as good a
story as has ever been told Of any
sgoist: Coming away from dinner at a
house noted for Its dulnsss he was asked
by some one II no had not been dread
fully bored. II should have besn." he
replied, III I hadn't been there"
But Of course these are not the best
stories. Another days memory would
Yield far better ones.-Frorn "CloWd and
sNver" (D0rdm).