Mountain advocate. (Barbourville, Ky.) 1904-1935, 1916-10-06
FINNEGANS PHILOSOPHY
PltIlcss Publicity

Meself could tell him. Where's Pitt
less rublicityf'' says Hughes. In the
/ Ash cam says |. Twas oil right on
! the stump but In Washin ton tits DIFF
| fer The Harp that wanst through
| TTcutuu's halls Il name Tumuity
/ Win lie bursts into song now LIE picks
his chuuc.
"'Tis not that Prisidint Wilson IL
less public than Candydate WILSON,
he's less pitlless. IT'S like the show.
man. lie tells We all, an more. about
III illyfant but he has mintal res-va.
shune about the spotted baby. D.
so 1t is Wild Wilson. He's sofped
tn, hard heart iv 'Pitiless Publicity
How about the Postmasters; axes
the rcfawrumers. Wen niver tell ye.
says the C'mishun. For whyT says
the League. 'T'wid embar'ss tn All
mnisthrashun,' says the Cmishun.
And the people laughs. 'Ye fired tn
Hid of the Cinsus,' says Hughes. 'Ye
lie says Rcdtield. He raysined Wild
out bcin' axed,' says he. 'Ye lie yer
self says Durand 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an we gev me place TO u
politician says Durand. 1xac1y
fwhat said yells Pink Whiskers, 4
was goln' to fire ye anyway, but
niver axed ye to rayslne,' says Pinky.
An the people roars.
"Tell us about all thin Dishurvin'
Dimmycrats,' says the people. An
Washinton is sweep be a storm "
silence
But doant We think there's no pub
licity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers. but he cud
be quiet too.
We'll grab some land in Vinzu-
eely,' says the Ambassydure 'tempri.
~ says he. Yen not. says Teddy.
yen agree to arbitrate,' says he. or
he says, in tin days Dewey1l he there
says Teddy.
me Ry'le Masther will niver con.
STINT says III other. Thin says Ted
dy, III sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitln.' Teddy says How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. We
agree says he. an divil a bit did We
know how 1t was for dozen year.
Wen have Ferdy Carey alive or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy.
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says, ON demand " the State Depart
mcnt Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
How IS It nowf The greasers
slaughters twinty at SANITY Isabel.
Another Mexican Crisis. says the
headlines Twinty Americans killed.
they says. The President Calm says
they. 'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays
Goluf,' says the headlines An the pa.
per goes on:
1.-The rrisidint's appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader " the ma.
shun gettin' outside " grape fruit, ba-
con an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Win pocthcr Grayson announced the
bill iv fare the tinshun over MEXICO
was much rclaved.
The PIisldint Is sOlvin' IN privacy
the fateful question, "Will me throat
last" The answer is waited wild Re.
vcrish anxiety
"Mondah the papers says: 'Nashunal
Disaster, Sore Throat Feared. Panic
at the Capital. The Prisidint Calm.
CONSERVATION was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisidint awoke with sore throat,
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
talk iv appintin' day ~ prayer. 1t II
hoped that Senior Arre-ye- on though
will claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ixicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but wan remark:
"Av they'd not been there they'd not "
been kilt"
"Choosdah, they says. Hope revives.
No sore throat. Bitten by insect
President calm. All Phrases " Nat
ther to be considered.
1.-THE anxiety In the Capital was re-
laved today be the followin' bulletin:
1.-THE Prisidlnt has a slight per-
foration IN the cuticle over the infery-
ure maximary caused be a insect bitin'
uiui uSiceP' Ahc pus'cns Veo W.
proud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson."
cit is reported also that Gineral
Scott will 90 10 the border to bury the
dead, and apologize TO the Insurgents.
He will axe Carranzy, whether he wud
accept a loan II offered. This IL con-
sidercd the thrue sutton Nv the din
Guilty
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor.
in, Thursdah he writes note aud
Glneral Scott starts for the border.
rridah the headlines says Peace In
Europe near. President studyin' terms.
VIII he stop the WARP Another note
expected. Capital excited over report.
But we're comforted be bein towld
the Prisidint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundnh, he's conslderin' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he ad.
yises Grandmothers about sucktn'
eggs. And another crisis Is past.
so II goes ivry day. As was say.
In, there's a'plenty publicity, but It's
not tho brand ~ 1912"