davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1916-07-13
Being the Vice President,


 isn't 1t easy to be a vice president ?'' remarked young woman who had been sitting in one of the galleries for some time watching the senate work. "Cinch," colloquially responded her es- cOrt.
 But senators know differently, for they are fully aware of what 1t means to sit hour by hour and pilot their august body through the parliamentary jungles which frequently are confront ed. The rules for legislative procedure in the United States senate are prac- tically no rules at all, paradoxical as 1t may seem. The course of the upper house is guided largely upon precedent and past rulings of vice presidents and as consequence the presiding of ficer must be thoroughly conversant with what his predecessors have done from the time the nation was born. This means long hours of study and extensive reading. Cincinnati En- Oufrer
The Press., 1916-07-13
Dizziness is Annoying
As Many Stafford Springs People Know
 Too Well.

When the kidneys are weak or dis ordered, they fall behind in Altering the blood of poisons. AS these poisons attack the nerves, the result is felt in spells of vertigo, just as drunken ness will make man dizzy from the poisoning of alcohol. Dizziness, head ache, backache and irregularity of the kidney secretions are all signs of weak or disordered kidneys and should not be neglected. Use Doan's Kidney Pills, the home endorsed kidney rem edy. Read this Stafford Springs resi-. :. dents statement:
 Mrs. Henry Crane. 50 Furnace Ave-, Stafford Springs, says: cover work is what I think brought on kidney complaint. My back gave me the most trouble. When I stopped, sharp pains caught me and I would hardly be able to straighten up. Mornings, my back was so sore that it caused me great pain. I had dizzy and weak spells and the kidney secre- tions were unnatural. saw Doan s Kidney Pills advertised and bought some at Jaoobsen's Drug Store. One box gave me great relief and two or three boxes cured me. ''
 Price soc, at all dealers. Don't simply ask for kidney remedy-get Doan's Kidney Pills-the same that cured Mrs Crane. Foster M ilburn Oo. Props Buffalo, N. Y.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Settling the Score.

Was it envy that caused the elderly spinster to criticise so severely the home and furniture of her newly mar. ried friend?
 Whatever it was, the young wife was getting tired of it.
 "Well, anyway" she said presently as she pointed to a pretty little china clock, If you don't like my furniture you must surely like thatF'
 ''Yes; it is rather nice," said the visi- tor grudgingly. "Who gave it to you2''
 "Oh, it wasn't presentw explained the bride. T won it in raffie."
 "A raffie!' The spinster drew her angular figure rigidly up. 'I never lend my face to such things!'
 Perhaps that's just as we'll" retort- ed the younger woman as she gazed meaningly at the others sour features, because if you did I'm afraid nobody would buy the tickets!'-London Globe
 It is the appreciation, not of the in dulgent, but of the exacting, that counts.
The Press., 1916-07-13
SAVED HER FAMILY.
Climax to the Fearless Fight of {
 PluckN Spider.

klaM3d& 10 Kn0 re2FiSSS EB9nG Plueky Spider. Crossing field one day. came upon a large female spider of the hunter family carrying a round white sack of eggs half the size of cherry attached to her spinnerets.
 Plucking a long stem of herds grass. detached the sack of eggs without bruising it. Instantly the spider turned and sprang at the grass stem, fighting and biting until she got to the sack, which she seized in her strong jaws and made off with it as fast as her rapid legs would carry her.
 laid the stem across her back and again took the sack away. She came on for 1t again. fighting more fiercely than before. Once more she seized it. once more forced it from her jaws. while she sprang and bit at the grass stem to annihilate 1t.
 The fight must have been on for two minutes when by regrettable move on my part one of her legs was injured. She did not falter in her fight. On she rushed for the sack as fast as pulled 1t away. The mother in her was ram- pant.
 She would have fought for that sack, I believe, until she had not one of her eight legs to stand on had I been cruel enough to compel her. It did not come to this. for suddenly the sack burst, and out poured a myriad of tiny brown spiderlings.
 Before could think that mother had ,.,rShad arnpnu fhovro and notrcol fhoTY, to swarm upon Ter. covering her many deep, even to the outer joints of her long legs-so deep that I could not now have touched her with needle except at the risk of crushing the young. I stood by and watched her slowly move off with her incrusting family to place of safety.-Dallas Lore Sharp in Atlantic Monthly
The Press., 1916-07-13
Mo,irninu Friday.

It was not always called Good Fri day. Years ago in Germany it was frequently referred to as Mourning Fri day. Our early ancestors in England did not call it Good Friday, either, but Long Friday. Such is the term in an ancient ecclesiastical law about 1,C00 years old. The Danes used the same name, Long, instead of Good Friday.
 The reason for using the word "long'' was doubtless found in the seeming endless and severe fast practiced that day. At one time the Spaniards em- phasized the solemnity of Good Friday by closing all the churches.
 Nowhere else that I have happened to be on Good Friday was the day so solemnly observed as in Rome. The city seemed to be in mourning, making all the more inspiring the matchless services and singing in St. Peters ca thedral on Easter.-Philadelph Led. ger
The Press., 1916-07-13

of The Press, thirty-one years ago. Seymour Carpenters house on the Ellington road, just outside of the borough limitss took fire about II a. m. on the 4th and burned to the ground. The fire caught about the chimney in the upper part of the building and made slow progess, but because of scarcity of water, and the absence of the family, little could be done but to remove the goods. E. R. Marsdale carried the alarm to the fair grounds, where the ball game was in progress, and prompt assistance was given to the saving of the con- tents. The house was insured for $500. It was large building, but quite oll. MT. Carpenter had begun work upon a new house nearer the village, which he purposes to rent, and which he will quite likely finish now for that purpose. Because of his impaired health he will not rebuild his farm house, but will occupy part of the house of his son-in.law, MT. Charter, who lives near by.
 Somers. Report of school in Dis- trict No. 3 for the year ending June 26th, Myrtle D. Harwood teacher. Scholars neither absent or tardy dur ing the second year, May E. Tansey, Willie Fancy; fall and winter terms, Annie Maloney, Robbie Maloney, Roddie Tansey; winter and spring terms, Hattie Edson, absent but one day, Dodie Tansey; spring term. Ma bel Avery; absent but one-half day, on account of sickness, Ernest Avery ; one day, Leon Carder. Whole mum. ber of scholars. fall term, 20; average daily attendance, 16. Winter term number of scholars, 1S; average 15. Spring term, number of scholars, 22 l; average, 20.
 Born. Stafford Springs, 8th, son to William and Lilla Lee.
 Holland, June 27th, son to D. Henry and F. Ella Benton.
 Married. Mansfield, June 2Sth, by Rev. A. B .Tefft, Thurlow J. Atwood and Hattie E. Gross; Both, by the same, J. Henry Jackson and Cora T. Parker.
 Died. Ashford, June 26th, AL mara Newell, 26.
 Maiden, Mass, Sth, George O. Marcy, 33, of Hartford. Funeral at the Marcy homestead in Union on Fri day at p. m.
The Press., 1916-07-13
CURIOUS MEALS.
Elephants Are Gormandixsrs, and Gi-
 raffss Have Queer Tastes

Elsphantn Are Gormandixsrs, and Gi-
 raffss Have Queer Tastes.
 Elephants, at least captive elephants, have queer tastes, says Pearson's Weekly in an entertaining article about the peculiarities of four legged gourmets. One memorable day In 1908 Sufra Culli. the mighty and popular Indian elephant at the ZOO, ate his bed. A thirty-six pound truss of straw had been put down on the floor for his comfort, and when the keeper went round in the morning not even the bands of the truss remained
 Sufra Culli followed 1t up during the day by eating three trusses of hay, weighing 150 pounds. Finally some one brought number of Christmas fa Culll swallowed his pudding with out even opening the cardboard box that contained 1t.
 A ZOO keeper once kept tally of the number of hot cross buns an elephant took down. For six hours on end one fine Good Friday 1t swallowed buns at the rate of 100 an hour!
 The average giraffe loves nothing better in the world than good square meal of flowers. 1t has not the slight est idea, however, of the difference be- tween artificial and real flowers.
 Some years ago when garden hats" were all the rage the giraffe at the ZOO made a day of it. In that glorious twelve hours 1t accounted for no few CT than seventeen hats, the majority of which were ehewed beyond recog- nttion before they could be rescued
 One of the funniest mistakes a gi- raffe ever made-funny for lookers-on, that Is to say-was when a peacock strolled into It's paddock. The pea cocks tall caught the giraffe's eye. and evidently the animal mistook 1t for a gigantic and luxuriant species of flow CT. At any rate. before any one could interfere down came the giraffe's long neck. and. seizing the peacock by the tail, he hoisted it In midair. It was not long before bird and tail said good by to each other, and the peacock fiut- tered away, screaming with indigna- ton. Although a trifie astonished at the proceedings of the newly discov- cred flower. the giraffe chewed the tail with great gusto.
The Press., 1916-07-13
UNION.

Miss Helen Baldwin, who was taken te
 Windsor last week, ill with an attack o
 pneumonia, is better.
 Miss Florence Barrows went into camp
 this week, at West Hill, New Hartford
 with group of her West Haven camp | fire girls.
 The funeral of Thomas Hudson Jr
 was held last Friday. Rev. T. A. Will Hams, assisted by Dr. o. W. Morrow officiated.
 Mrs. H. R. Howard went to the John
 son Memorial Hospital Tuesday for an operation. Her many friends hope fol
 speedy and complete recovery. There are three new cases of measles in the family of George Towne- Mr.
 Towne is recovering but Edmund Joseph. inc and Florence are ill with the same
 malady.
 At the Grange meeting last week, lee.
 turer's hour was in charge of Flora and
 an interesting program was carried out An interesting feature was talk on rose
 culturer by G. R. ToWne who well under
 stood his subject, having had much
 practical experience in Horticulture. Rock Meadow. Albert Agard is with his brother, Adelbert Agard, for a few weeks,
 helping him through having. Elsie Pah, who lives in the home of MT. and Mrs. Adelbert Agard, spent few days last week with her broth. CTS at the children's home in Vernon. Abial Towne, 88. the oldest man in town, died Saturday evening at 7.sO. He was born in Union February 4, 1928. He learned the trade of a machinist which he followed for a time, but eventually gave it up and became farmer. He represented the town in the legislature one term, had |served as selectman and held other offices in the affairs of the town of Union. He had been in feeble health for some time, but most of the time was able to be around his place. The end come quite suddenly. The fnner- al was held Tuesday at 1 o'clock at his home, Rev. MT. Williams officiat. ing. The burial was in the Union Center cemetery. He leaves a wife and four children, Mrs. Myron Heck, Mrs. Ella Bass, Miss Anna Towne and Frank Towne all of this town, and seven grandchildren and five great -grandchildr He also leaves a sister, Miss Lucinda Towne of Wor- cester.
The Press., 1916-07-13
HalleY's Achievements.

Edmund Haley was a very great man. He was not only the first to pre- dict correctly the return of comet that which is now known by his name but also-before Newton had announc ed his results to any one-arrived at the conclusion that the attraction Of gravitation probably varied inversely as the square of the distance. While these and other important achieve ments of his are we'll known. it seems to have been forgotten that Haley de vised a method of determining the age of the ocean from chemical denuda tion.
The Press., 1916-07-13
&1OO REWARD. &1OO.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all it's stages and that is Catarrh. HalFs Catarri1 Cure is the only positive cure now known to the med- ical fraternity. Catarrh being constitutional disease, requires constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces or the system, thereby destroying the foundatfon Of the disease, and giving the patient strength by building up the constitution and assisting nature In doing It's work. The pr0pnetors have SO much faith In it's curative pOWefs that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any case that 1t fails to cure. Send for list Of testimonials.
 Address F. J. CHENEY q CO.,, Toledo, o. | Sold by all Druggists, 76c.
 Take Halls Family Pulls for constipation.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Heavy Holes.

Mrs. Newed-I would like a pound of your best cheese.
 Grocer-Yes, ma'am.
 Mrs Newed (examining it)-Why, this cheese is full of holes
 Grocer-Yes, ma'am; that's the way it comes.
 Mrs. Newed-Well, don't want any of it. I'm not going to pay for pound of cheese that contains half pound of holesl
The Press., 1916-07-13
Method in Their Madness.

After having her blood curdled bad ly by a thrilling story Mrs. Kurious was angry to find that it ended in an advertisement for somebody's tooth powder.
 With pout she threw the paper con taining the deception across the room.
 Whats the matter. dearie?" asked her hubby.
 Mrs. Kurious told him her trouble and wound up with the remark:
 ''Now, Jeremiah, I know why the Chinese people begin reading at tho end instead of the beginning. Their intelligence is greater than ours."-- London Mail.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Indifference.

(Which do you prefer, summer O winter?"
 "I've no preference" replied Mir Growcher. Tt is just as depressing to me whether put in a large portion of my time reading about the hottest day ever or the coldest day ever."- Washington Star.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Andrew Jackson.

Andrew Jackson, whose will is on record, was perhaps the poorest of all the presidents of the United States. He confessed his poverty and admit ted that he had been ruined financially by his nephew, whom he had adopted and treated as a son.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Ouite Deliberate.

II am glad to say" remarked Mr. seekton. that l never spoke a nasty word to you"
 ''No, Leonidas," answered his wife rather gently; I'm willing to give you credit for not hurrying about any thing"
The Press., 1916-07-13
Sad.
q went joy riding last night"

went Joy rluIng last n1ght.
 Did the trip have an unfortunate ending?"
 Very. There wasn't any accident at all, and l was with people that l will probably never have a chance to get my name in the paper with again." Puck.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Call the Roll.

What has become of the women who used to settle their quarrels by cutting each others clothes lines on wash day:
 Where is the boy who stretched a line after dark across the path of the man whom he hated because the man told his father he caught him playing hockey Richmond Times Dispatch.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Expiaininq a Charqe,

Client-You have an item in your bill, Advice, March 8, $5." That was the day before retained you. Law. yer-I know it. But don't you remem. Der on the Sth I told you you'd better let me take the case for you? Client Yes. Lawyer-Well, that's the advice. Boston Transcript.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Mixed Metaphor.

King Edward VII. when he was Prince of Wales. once made a funny mixture of metaphors. In reply to cer- tain inquiries and admonitions he said T will do my best to walk in my fa-. ther's fOotstefs. which you have held up for my imitation"
The Press., 1916-07-13
FOR SALE AT CRYSTAL LAKE

Four Cottages and Fifty Desir-
 able Building Lots on shore of
 Crystal Lake; also Two Good
 Farms Cottages to rent for
 season also Land to camp on. 3 elans of Cottages and Building Lots on dispIa, It the following places T. F. Garvan, Real Els ate, Room !, Prescott Block, Rockville, Conn., Louis koelsch, at Hotel, Crystal Lake, Conn. Shoe Store. Stafford Springs, Conn.
The Press., 1916-07-13

Heavy, impure blood makes a muddy, pimply complexion. headaches, nausea, indigestion. Thin blood makes you weak, pale and sickly. For pure blood. sound digestion, use Burdock Blood Bitters S1 OO at all stores
The Press., 1916-07-13
The Other Way,

Then you don't want to leave foot prints upon the sands of time?"
 "Nix," answered the politician guard edly. "AH I want is to cover up my .racks."-Louisyille Courier-J Journal
The Press., 1916-07-13
Prnhahix-

Wife-I don't know what makes Miss Crankleigh so positive about every thing Hub-Probably her sex, my dear.-BostOn Transcript.
The Press., 1916-07-13
The Essentials.
typical American?"

''Is he typical American?"
 "Yes; he likes baseball, has motor tar, owes a mortgage, pays alimony and thinks the moving pictures have grand opera beaten a mile."-Life.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Will Never Know.

Seymour-It is better to be right than president. Ashley-How do you know You've never been either and never will be-Chicago News.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Deadly Diseases.

Tuberculosis and cancer, together. account for the deaths of about fifteen of every 100 insured persons.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Not Too Thick.

Are the fish thick herew
 "Well, not too thick. sir" answered the native. We have to use this lake partly for navigation. n."-Louisville Cou- rier-Journal
The Press., 1916-07-13
ELLINGTON. Crystal Lake.

Mrs. Leon Hurteau and two children of New Haven were at Denison Bakers recently.
 MT. and Mrs. Perlin Richardson o1 Hazardville spent the first of the week with A. M. Richardson. Mrs. Giles s. Dimock of Springfield and Mrs. A. D. Charter of Stafford Springs, were guests of Mrs. M. H. Dim ock last Friday.
 Mrs. Mary Dowding will entertain the w. R. c. of Rockville, of which she is 8 member, Thursday afternoon at her cot. tage.
 Edgar w. Aborn and two sons have moved onto their farm on the mountain. He has large herd of cows and takes his milk to Ellington, it being gathered from there by Hartford firm.
 MT. and Mrs. Chrissie Kies and MT. and Mrs. Everett Kies and son of Hamp- ton were at Denison Bakers on Sunday. They also visited Edwin Baker in Yer non Center, going by auto.
 The Pequot Campfire girls of the Bap- tist church of Rockville who have been camping at Camp Idlewild' for week have returned home. They were chap eroned by Mrs. Arthur Gyngell.
 For baby's croup, Willie's daily cuts
The Press., 1916-07-13
The Clans of Scotland.

The clans of Scotland are generally understood to have arisen about the year 100S, during the reign of King Malcolm H. Tic leoal power of the chiefs and the other remains of herit. able jurisdiction were abolished in Scotland about TAO.
The Press., 1916-07-13
Shape No Object.

Butcher-win you have a round steak. ma'am? Mrs. Youngbride-I don't care what shape it is, so It's ten der-Boston Transcript.
The Press., 1916-07-13

Occasional depression no one can avoid. but i'll temper everybody can.
The Press., 1916-07-13
THIRTY-ONE YEARS AGO.
July 9, 1885.

items Of local interest taken from the columns of The Press, thirty-one years ago.
The Press., 1916-07-13

You need and desire ELECTRICITY in your home, but the imagined cost of installation has always scared you off Why not see us to-day and secure some dependable figures on good work and good material and fixtures2 We are specially equipped to do your work promptly, prop erly and at the lowest cost.
 D. J. STEPHENS & SON.
The Press., 1916-07-13

For baby's croup. Willie's daily cuts and bruises, mammals sore throat, Grand mas lameness.-Dr. Thomas Eclectic Oil-the household remedy. 25c and 5Oc.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-03-16
Fashion FriIIs.

And. as If their clothes were not al
ready loud enough. the girls are TO
wear gong sleeves this WHEREIN
dianaPOIis News.
The place for a lady TO wear her
watch now is strapped to the ankle.
We don't know why. and probably no
one else does. but that doesn't matter
Atlanta Constitution.
Fashion says women must wear fur
on their gowns this winter. It's sim
ply a matter of lacking down the stuff
they've been wearing loose around
their necks all summer.-New York
Sun.
The introduction of cloth topped high
boots is said to be the reason for the
present fashion of short skirts, and IN
some cases the tops of the boots seen
at New York fashion show were just
a few inches below the knee.-Boston
Globe
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-03-16
Ffippant filings.

The football lingo is in the air. Did
you raise your boy to be halfback!-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The dollar has succeeded the pound
as the money standard, but most of US
will continue to reckon in jitneys.-
New York Mail.
Japan records the story of a maid
who remained in one household over
fifty years. This indicates that Japan
is trying to get our householders to
emigrate thither-Chicago News.
An American manufacturer an
nounces that he has succeeded in pro-
ducing a quality of limburger cheese
that equals the imported article, this
being another of the evil effects OF
war.-Detroit Free Press.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-03-16
Current Comment.

The Golden Rule seems to have
switched from the Bank of England
10 Wall street.-Pittsburgh Press.
Breaking of a four years trading
record in Wall street isn't so much
when you remember that they're break
ing a worlds record abroad.-Boston
Journal.
Above the dull roar of the battles
abroad the American people are now
beginning to hear an occasional presi-
Dental boom. - New Orleans Times
Picayune.
The man who criticizes the govern
ment of city, state or nation and then
stays home on election day is the ST.
lent partner of the corrupt politician
who buys the votes.-Baltimore Amer
lean.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-03-16

Those Aladdin lamp at Reilly G. Cos
Have you plenty of chick feed !?
Better order a supply from the Fruit
Association.
Mr.. Steinebach and family left on
Tuesday for their old home at Grange
vile to remain.
The Emmett Feed Mills are still
selling the celebrated Preston flour
at the same old price.
Arthur Richards is suffering from a
painful wound in one of his eyes,
caused by running stick into it.
For earache, toothache, pains, burns
scalds, sore throat, try DR.. Thomas
Eclectic Oil, splendid remedy for
emergencies.
Harry Shropshire is spending this
week at his ranch on Willow creek.
He is engaged in branding his band
Of brook trout.
F. NJ. Mingus of Willow creek has
been added to the MCGOWAN Bros.
force of clerks and has moved his
family to town.
A big rotary snow from the Vel
lowstone branch of the Short Line
went up the road Tuesday to clear
the snow blockade.
A horse belonging to Geo. P. Hall
was kicked by another horse Saturday
on the Flagler rancn and one of its
front legs was broken.
Mrs. E. L. Holverson and children.
Mrs. C. P. Bilderback and Miss Rena
Parks went to Boise Friday to spend a
week visiting relatives and friends.