The sun., 1916-10-15

FRANK MCINTYRE. who ought
r. to understand the subject as
we'll az anybody else, has writ
ton these observations concerning the
life OF a fat man for THE SrN. Here
they are:
To all fat men, among whom have
been some of the greatest intellectual
giants Of history, l dedicate these
words.
Being by nature burdened with n
superfluous figure. but equally blessed
with an abundant good win and sense
OF humor, | am grateful.
The calumny and Islander which a
sordid world has fastened upon the fat
man In the guise of humor taunteth
me not.
The fat man hath a soul. a con-
science. a sentiment In the depths Of
his a~voirdupois for which he should be
thankful, for these surpass the soul
or the conscience or the sentiment OF
the Stat sided, the anamic. the tooth
pick figures Of tho so-caIled slender
Willies Of the period.
Marriage for the fat man II az
sacred. tender and happy as II is to the
thin man. though the manifestation
thereof may not seem 30 aesthetic.
Many fat men have married. They
may not sit in the same seat with their
wives In cars. but their affection In not
disturbed on this account The seats
in public railroad trains are not built
to accommodate the extra stouts.
have never married. IL is my re-
Gret. my sorrow. The reasons for this
are among the secrets OF my life.
One of the calumnies Of the fat man
refers To his misfortunes In love.
Speaking for all fat men. let me say
to them they must be OF good cheer.
1 have known many maidens. young,
medium and matured. I have many
friends among them. They come to
me. confident that they will enjoy that
sympathetic appreciation Of their
troubles that any fat man can afford.
They tell me their inmost secrets,
They confide the tumult Of their hearts
TO me. l listen to them. | buy for
them n I pass on. glad to have
known them.
Many a secret has been whispered
10 me In the dimly lighted corner VI a
hotel cafe or in the brilliant glare OF
an afternoon automobile spin into the
country. Thec do not mind my avoir-
dupois. II ] propose to them In nv
}ovial way they have laughingly re-
fused me. a girl can always UNDER
stand a fat mans joke.
am grateful that | am not az some
hin men ] see. who grow old because
.Eey are so serious. Truly. the thin
-ack the milk Of human Kindness that
flows ever from the heart Of the fat
man.
am grateful that ! have neither the
greed for wealth nor the passion for
lobster n Ia Newburgh that d~estroyeth
the youth Of the thin ones. Remem-
Der. an, We fat men. hat IL IL not
given to any human being to eat but
one breakfast at "a time, one lunch or
n dinner, and that but one strongly
made bed Is all n requires to sleep
in. The softness Of the bed matters
not to a fat man.
The fate OF "A fat man differs little
from all other men. II chanKeth even
~ the money market shifteth hitler
and thither.
l was born in Michigan, and II was
the desire of my family that | should
become a priest and ] was educated ac-
cordingly. With my other studies l
o o up music and singing and sang
in the church choir. Whenever there
was a show OF any description / was
In II, and II did not take me long to
discover that | was more adapted for
the stage than the pulpit: nevertheless
| have always preached to the multi
tude. Before ] decided to go on the
stage ] served as a newspaper mar
for several papers In the middle West.
1t has been said that actors lead ir-
regular lives, Judging from my expert
cnce it IL IA mistaken idea.
i leave the hotel at about 10 o'clock
In the morning, attend to some per-
sonal affairs that happen To arise. |
am found thereafter at the Lambs
club. | report To the theatre at S..
aNd after INDUCING in a little upper
after the theatre retire about 2 A.