davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

ing a man of ingenuity called a werlnown telephone number ami summoned
Jimmie. Jimmie, 1t seems, was prime favorte with the doc and his class.
Jimmie whisHed on his way a he answered the call. Maybe he didn't
know what al ahead. Maybe he's more than a near-herO. Anyway, he
whsded the popular melody which assured those in his immediate vicinity
that "Ths is the life"
The doctor usheed him into the classroom, cap in hand. He wa given
a chair and remembers vaguely sitting down. Forty pairs of casual eyes of
gray and brown and blue-"gols, felers, an only the doc and meI-were
raised and swept him apprasngly' He only remembers the rest vaguely.
AS through a mist he became suddenly conscious that It was awfuny
hot His feet insisted upon spreading all over the place and his hands kept
growing larger and larger. Why did they all keep looking at him? Was
there anything the matter2
And then he heard the concluding sentence of the doctors lecture. He
says it was something like this:
"An' now, ladies' he SEE we shall practice bandagin' a wounded head a
badly wounded head. This young gentleman has agWed to let as de patient
he ser. OATS me, feners. Den he TOMS to me. we shall need lots Of band
ages he sez WHY you step out lin de hall an ask the nurse for a handfulT"
Jimmie stepped, nay, more, he stepped with aacnty. oh, yes he stepped,
nor did he cease the process till he had reached his bicycle. Nor wen then.
That was the end of the incident They may have obtained a substitute
up at the frtaid class. But this is the story of Jimmie
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
WOMEN SHOULD TAKE
THIS ADVICE

haywood, Nebr.-"Last fal I was al
most broken down In health. / could
hardly stand to do my homework. 1
would get so tired that l could hardly
take another step, and my nights rest
did not refresh me very much. A
friend loaned me the Common Sense
Medical Adviser and after reading
part of 1t l decided to try DIR. Plerce's
FavOrlte Prescription and Golden
Medical Discovery. / took six bot.
ties of the former and five Of the lat
ter and / felt like myself again. l
have much faith In the FavOrlte Pre-
scrlption' for woman's troubles, as IT
has done me a world Of goOd."-MRS
i. VANDERHEIDEN.
This herbal tonic for wOmen Is made
up In liquid or tablet form, and can be
obtained In any drug store; or send
DIR. Pierce, Invalids' Hotel, Buffalo, N.
Y, 10 cents for trial package Of Fa-
yorlte Prescription Tablets.-Adv.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

a doughnut mentally. Each of them says today that they had never at that
early date eaten one in reality in that hotel because they feared the price
would be something like 40 cents apiece, and they didn't care to sQuander
that much on a singletube doughnut without antskid appliances. But they
would glance over at the table where sat the gOurmandIzng bank directors
and railway magnates, and it seemed to be bending In the middle with dough
nuts. They wondered when they, too, could sit down and order all the
necessities of life, and add a plate of dOughnuts just for good measure.
In fact doughnuts in a hotel grey to be the mark of extreme luxury for
these two young mn. Then n day they found they we're commissioners Of
the District of Columbia, and the center of a group Of administrative officials
who wanted to get together every day at luncheon to talk things over.
So they went to the big hotl and arranged for a round table daily.
The first day they all sat down the head waiter placed IN the table about
ne bushel Of those George Il. HarTies doughnuts.
1--WE didn't order these" said Louis-I mean Commissioner Brownlow-
weakly.
II know" returned the waiter with a smile. "They are like dread n
butter We make no charge for them"
And then Louis looked at ollie and Ollie looked at Louis, and together
they tried to figure out how many dOughnuts the hotel owed them for past
luncheOns.
And that is why that big round table at a certain hotel near the District
building is reserved for what they call "the doughnut cabinet"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
Electric Chair.

He might object to the use of his
name, but his initials are f. G. Y. Be
nus he is n salesman he contends he
has the right to loaf in various down
town business houses, That is he
thought so until a visit in an electrical
shop several days ago. He sat in the
accustomed chair for a good rest when
a singing sensation caused him to
rise. The clerks had become tired of
their visitor and had wired the chair
so that the pressure of a button be-
hind the counter would shock the per
son in the chair. f. G. q. Is careful
where he loafs now, especially where
he sits.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
The Old Adam.

He was a staunch supporter Of the
kirk, but he also had u dash of sport
Ing blood in his veins.
One Sabbath morn, as he was pro-
ceeding to the kirk with his Bible I'M
der his arm, he came upon a group of
laddies playing football on a piece of
waste ground. He watched the game
for some minutes; then, when there
came a lull, he called the boys over to
him.
"Eh, laddies, We knaw it's vera
wrang tae play htba' on the Sawbath,
Ye mauna do It. Whaur dae We think
yen gang when We dee If We play htba'
on the Laird's day? And you,s ma
Misunderstanding the captain-"why
don't We shoot Oftener for goal? We
dribbie far over much Ye're pull
players, the lot Of ye."
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
DO 1T NOW, GOOD WATCHWORD
Habit Of Proerastination Has Never
Yet Failed to Bring Train Of
Evils in Its Wake.

Sometime is n useful word that Is
often overworked, remarks the Mil
waukee Journal. One says, Sometime
l will do It," but the time never comes.
Sometime is no time when Il kind deed
is to be done. Sometime is no time
when n definite task Is to be done.
A thing put off beyond its rightful
time e%ncroaches on time allotted by
right to other duties. One may think
he is gaining time by postpOning the
duty Of the hour. IN fact, he is vast
ing time. Tomorrow and ever ito
morrow" has been the ruin of many.
DO now the thing that should be done
now. Have you had n quarrel, and are
you ready for reconciliation? Do not
postpone 1t. The other person may get
hardened I'm his views and become IN
willing to be %recOnciled. He may die
and leave you to II lasting regret that
you had not made friends. Would you
help someone? DO not wait till help
Is past being help. Put Off till "tO-
morrow mending the fence, and your
neighbours cattle will have found the
weak place and made havoc with your
grain. Put of paying your insurance,
and perhaps II fire will destroy all
you have. Debts do not grow less by
postpOning payment. do 1t now" Is a
good watchword. Say the kind word,
do the kind deed, perform the duty of
the home.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
Kidney Disorder
(By DR.. v. M. PIERCE.)

(By DIR. v. M. PIERCED
The most simple methods are usu-
ally the most effective ones when
treating any disorder of the human
system. The mere drinking a cup OF
hot water each morning, plenty
Of pure water all day, and a little
Anuric before every meal has been
found the most effective can Of
overcoming kidney trouble. Death
would occur If the kidneys did not
work day and night in separating
pOIsons and uric acid from the blood.
The danger signals are backache,
depressions, pains, heaviness, drowsi-
ness, irritability, headaches, chilllness,
rheumatic twinges, swollen joints or
govt.
Since It is such a simple matter to
step into your favOrite drug store and
obtain Anuric, anyone who earnestly
desires to regain health and new life
will waste no time In beginning this
treatment.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

SUCH UIVHIUUIVHIIUIIVo HH NVH' VVVIbU
H. Harrles would be gOurmandlzing in
fine style. The thing which attracted
the attention and appetite of Messrs.
BrownlOw and Newman in those days
was the large supply of 0Oughnuts on
the big table. They were twisted
doughnuts, not the old-fashiOned
doughnuts shaped like n life preserver,
which gives the small-minded Jester
the opportunity to say a word or two
about wishing he had a job making
the holes. Lnnls and Ollie ate many
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

Jimmie is a messenger boy and a
near-hero. He has freckles, has been
known to call successfully to the alus-
i've Phoebe Five in a secluded area
way, and a pal of his has vouchsafed
the information that hes a bold wild
his mitts." Be that as 1t may he has
n sterling accomplishment. He
knows when to quit.
The first-aid class wanted a pa
tient upon whom to practice lately
acquired skill in the art Of scientific
bandaging. The doctor in charge, be-
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

Pain or dull ache in the back is often
evidence of kidney trouble. 1t is Natures
timely warning to show you that the track
Of health is not clear.
Danger Signals.
If these danger signals are unheeded
more serious results may be expected;
kidney trouble in it's worst form may steal
upon you.
Thousands of people have testified that
the mild and immediate effect of Swamp
Root, the great kidney, liver and bladder
remedy, is soon realized-that it stands
the highest for it's remarkable curative
effect in the most distressing cases. If
you need a medicine, you should have the
best.
Lame Back.
Lame back is only one of many symp-
toms Of kidney trouble. Other symp-
toms showing that you may need Swamp
Root are, being subject to embarrassing
and frequent bladder troubles day and
SPECIAL AoTE-You may obtain a sa
ten cents to DR.. Kilmer & Co., Binghamt
to prove the remarkable merit Of this me
valuable information, containing many of
from men and women who say they found
In kidney, liver and bladder troubles. tt
well known that our readers are advised Il
Kilmer 4 Co., Binghamton, N. Y. When
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
ILoslna Venture.

"DO you know anything about the
milieu Of this play?" asked the man
with the horn-rimmed spectacles.
IF you mean the chap who's backing
this show" answered the amiable low
brow, 81 guess he's of somewhere
wishing he could kick himself ."-Bir-
mlngham Age-Herald.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
Just as Good.

A small boy was leading an unusual
ly fpp looking dog, when II sportily
dressed man stopped to admire 1t.
HAS that dog of yours got a pedi-
greer he asked.
81 don't know" replied the boy, but
he's got over a bushel of bones buried
I'm our back yard"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
Those Wedding Bells.

Abe-Did you get the opera scorer
Pandora-Yeah; they were tied in
the last minute of the play.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
Happy Effort.

'Truly a felicitOus speech! He has
a style-er-all his own"
"Huml Just where does the fe-
licity come in?"
1.-THE felicity is like his style-all his
own"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

Recently patented hairpins resemble
tongs in form and method of opera
ton.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
How the Districts DOughnut Cabinet Originated

WHEN Louis Brownlow and Oliver Newman were newspaper men they
w would occasionally go to the grfnrOOm of n big downtown hotel for
luncheon. and there they would cast LONGING ganees at the round table. where
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

Cracked eggs can be boiled safely
by placing n little vinegar In the wa
ter.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
Stolen Articles Sent Back to Washington Hotels

W AsHTNGToN hotel managers are much amazed over the fact that the
w American public seems to be getting consdencesricken and slowly but
staaduv ratmrnIng without exclamation, humorous articles missed immedIatay
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

after their departure from the better
class Of the hotels. It is said that
this is true OF all the hotels through
out the country, and the cause of 1t all
has not yet been discovered.
One Washington manager says:
'If everything that has been taken
from this hotel was to be returned I
would have 20 turn the lobby and n
large part of the hotel to storage
rooms. Our loss each year of the last
20 years has been approximately $1O,-
900 in table silver, linen and room
articles such a curling irons, electric
same hotel manager declares that vi
than 80 separate packages, from the
articles supposed to have been taken
packages contain nearly 200 pieces Of
carried O line Of explanation Of a clue
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

Ten smiles for a nickel. Always buy Red
Cross Bag Blue; have beautiful, clear
white clothes. ADV.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

20 per cent and the end is not vet. Asked whether the tremendous increase
In export of cotton, coupled with the existing shortage, would stop the man
ufacture of flags, Arthur Copeland. president Of the NJ. G. Copeland company
declared the people of the country would always insist o. having flags and
cited historical instances Of the us Of rags IS standards when nothing else
was available as evidence Of the lengths to which patriots will go. Mr.. Cope
land added that while the present situation is serious, it did not seem to
threaten a suspension Of flag production.
1.-THE cost of dyes is a factor which makes for expensive flags" said Mr.
Copeland.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

War has seriously affected the pea
nut trade of Madras, India.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
First-Aid Girl Pupils We're Too Much for Jimmie

HE hrstaId class, now being held under the Joint auspices of the American
! National Red Cross and the Navy league in Washington, doesn't even
know his name So Man cn him nLlmmle"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

1.-THE tail, handsome policeman yon-
der does not seem to be doing much.'
Indeed, he is. He Is arresting at
tentiOn."
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

The annual rice production of Japan
has reached the 25O,OOO,O0O-bushel
mark.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
DO YOU GET UP WITH A LAME BACK?
Have You Rheumatism, Kidney, Liver or
Bladder Trouble

night, irritation, sediment, etc.
Lack of control, smarting, uric acid,
dizziness, indigestion, sleeplessness, nerv-
business, sometimes the heart acts badly,
rheumatism, bloating, lack of ambition,
may be loss of flesh, salIow complexion.
PreVaIeney Of Kidney Disease.
Most people do not realize the alarm
ing increase and remarkable prevalency
of kidney disease. While kidney dis
orders are among the most common
diseases that prevail, they are sometimes
the last recognized nv patients, IVho
very often content MemSelVeS 1Vith doctor
ing the effects, zVhf2e the original disease
may constantly undermine the system.
Regular ffty-cent and one-dollar size
bottles at all drug stores.
Don't make any mistake, but remember
the name, DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root and
the address, Binghamton, N. Y, which
you will find on every bottle.
.ple size bottle of Swamp-Root by enclosing
IN, N. Y. This gives you the opportunity
iicine. They will also send you a book Of
the thousands of grateful letters received
Swamp-Root to be just the remedy needed
E value and success Of Swamp-Root are so
send for a sample size bottle. Address Dr..
Tnting be sure and mention this paper.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

w%ool-buntlng flag, which is the best
and formerly was the most used ma
terial, now has almost fallen into dis
use on account of the increasing cost
Of the goods. The cotton-buntlng Gag
has nearly supplanted Its worthler
competitor. At that the cost of cotton
and dyes has so increased that It costs
almost as much to produce a cotton
flag as It did in antebellum times to
manufacture n wooden one The cost
of a wooden flag has increased about
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24
High Cost Of Flags Now Hits the United States

lu ASHnNGTON-Now comes the high cost Of dagraisng. The rapaciOus
W nav Of Mars, in consuming every conceivable resource, has not passed
by even the standards for which men die at his altar.
Local flag DEALERS epot TINT the
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-24

fans, and bOudoir necessities" This
hin two weeks he has received more
States and Canada. containing
way from the hotel by guests. These
otel property, but not a single package
that would disclose the identity Of the
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
Warren 5; All Nations 0

After suffering defeat two times
in succession at the hands of the All
Nations bunch, Warren came back in
the third game of the series Monday
evening and shut out the famous
wandering club by a score of 5 to
0. Each Warren man was in good
conditipn and played first class ball
thru sout the entire eight inings.
The rain, which fell during the af-
,ternodn prevented them from play
ing tHthat time and though the dia.
mond was heavy the game was pull
ed off in the evening.
Foster twirled for Warren and was
in splendid shape, securing 13 strike
outs from the visitors. Wingfeld was
back in his old position behind the
bat and caught an excellent game
Terino heaving and Coleman receiv.
ing, composed the battery fol
Schmelzer's gang.
Though Warren threatened tn,
home bag several times no score wa:
chalked up until the fifth frame
when Terion walked Wolfe, Morarity
sacrificed. German hit and reached
first on Hernandez error, and stol,
second. Foster was hit by a pitched
ball. Wingfe1d swatted the spher,
for; q clean single and brot in Wolf.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
Attempts Suicide.

Luella Stanley, a transient woman,
attempted to end her life via the
poison route Saturday afternoon in
her room at the Scandia hotel on the
east side. According to the loose
facts that the reporter was able to
gather the woman had been employed
at Argyle, where she had lived life
of questionable nature and was com
PEELED to leave town. After spending
the day here she became respondent
over her troubles and decided to end
her life by taking poison. Shortly
after taking it she was overcome by
its effects and began struggling for
life and was heard by one of the
hotel chamber maids VINO went into
the room and discovered the uncon-
scious woman gasping for breath. An
ambulanc was called and she was
taken to the local hospital and.sw
soon completely revived. Il
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
LEAVE FOR TWO WEEK
OUTING AND AUTO TOUR

The editor and wife, and Mrs. VIM.
Forsberg, Miss Edith Mattson and
Edgar Mattson acting as chauffer,
left Friday forenoon for an extended
auto tour and outing to be spent at
Ortonville and other points in the
southern part Of the state.
Mr.. and Mrs. Nels Bystrom and
son Gerald accompanied by Misses
Ella Lundgren and Martha Morten-
son left in the Bystrom car, Satur-
day morning bound for the same
destination. They will join the form
er party at Fargo. While at Orton-
vile they will all be the guests OF
Mr.. and Mrs. E. N. Schoen.
While the chief pencil pusher OF
the Sheaf is away, the editorial
duties will be handled by the cub
reporter, Adolph Mattson.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
Warren 1; All Nations A..

Before one Of the largest crowds
ever gathered for a baseball game at
the Dacotah Park at Grand Forks,
Sunday afternoon, Warren again suf-
fered defeat at the hands Of the All
Nations team. This time is was thru
the wonderful throwing Of John Don
aldson, the worlds greatest negro
pitcher. Donaldson was at his best
and nabbed 18 men at the home
plate. Lefty Halbert was on the
mound Earren and threw an
excellent game. Grand Forks fans
were greatly pleased by the manner
in which he held his strong oppon-
ents down to seven hits, all Of which
were singles.
Though Warren was defeated, they
gave their opponents merry chase
and time and again the Warren men
were applauded for brilliant playing.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
vasa Picnic, A Pronounced Success

Easa Picnic, A pronounced Success.
An ideal day favoring the incident,
the first picnic of the different Vasa
Orders Of the Red River valley re-
suited in one Of the biggest ''turn
outs" Of old settlers ever witnessed
in Marshall county. At the appoint
ed hour, Sunday forenoon, headed by
the Warren City Band, members Of
the Vasa Order and their friends,
left from the Odd fellows Hall fo1
the Indian Trail Sandridge, where
they were Joined by representative
citizens from Crookston, Thief River
Falls and Alvarado. An address Of
welcome was extended by Z. NJ. Oh
son in we'll chosen words on behalf Of
the Warren Lodge, responded to BY
representatives Of the other lodges
The band rendered several selections
fitting to the occasion. Games Of
sport, peculiarly adopted to the tastes
Of the Scandinavian people were in
dulged in. By a suggestion from the
Thief River Falls lodge, next in mem.
bership to Warren, Vasa picnic will
hereafter be an annual event.
At about five o'clock the crowd dis.
banded, all satisfied that it had beer
one Of the most enjoyable days evel
spent.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
ALVARADO FARMER BUYS
CARLOAD OF MACHINERY

Walter Sands, one of Alvarado's
leading agriculturists was in the city
Friday, for the purpose of restocking
his large farm with new and modern
farm machinery. He found that his
wants could easily be satisfied here
and ompleted negotiations with the
Warren Machine and Iron Works
company, by which he became the
owner of large carload of the latest
and the most convenient agricultural
machinery. Mr.. Sands farms on a
large scale and believes in using the
best there is in farm machinery for
working the land.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
Band Gives Outdoor Concert.

The first. outdoor band concert of
the season at The Great offhernI
park, Friday evening. Since Mr..
Dahlof has taken charge Of the band,
the organization has made a wonder
full improvement and the musical
numbers rendered at this concert
were exceptionally good. A large
audience was present and showed
their appreciation by repeated ap-
plauses.
If it is the intention of the boys
to give regular concerts in the flu
ture, the Sheaf would suggest that a
public subscription to taken up for
the purpose Of screening in the band
stand and thus make it impossible
for those "pesky skeeters" to in
terrupt them when they are playing
sweet strains of music.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1916-07-19
Warren 2: Argyle ]

In a close and interesting contest
Warren put crimp in Argyle's win
ming streak by a score Of to 1 on
the Argyle diamond Tuesday evening.
Warren was in to win as they had
previously dropped two games to the
Argyle gang they were playing at
their best and both clubs were very
evenly matched.
Russell did the sending and Wing
field received for Warren while Goose
law and Smith did the battery work
for Argyle.
gIine's heavy hitting featured the
game, securing one home run and a
three base hit, scoring both times.