davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Task for .ha Jury

A witness. Jolly, plump old lady.
on a trial in the supreme court at
Worcester. was asked at what time a
certain train of cars passed her
house. She replied that she began
knitting at three o'clock and had knit
twice around the leg of a stocking be-
fore they came along. The next Ques-
ton, of course. was how long it would
take her to knit twice around. The
judge here. in his usual quiet humor.
suggested that that would depend
upon the size of the stocking. To TINS
the witness remarked that the stock
ing was for herself and they could ex-
ercise their own Judgment as to the
size, and guess how long it would
take.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
WHY :ANURIC"
is AN INSURANCE AGAINST SUDDEN DEATH
Sufferers from Backachs, Rheumatism and Kldng Trouble

Experience has taught DR.. Pierce that
"Anuric" is the most powerful agent
in dissolving uric acid, as hot water
melts sugar; besides being absolutely
harmless it is endowed with other
properties, for it preserves the kid
neys in a healthy condition by thor
oughly cleansing them. Checks the de-
generation Of the blood-vessels, as well
as regulating blood pressure. "Anuric"
is a regular insurance and iife-saver
for all big meat eaters and those who
deposit lime-salts in their joints. Ask
the druggist for "Anurie" put up by DR..
Pierce, in 50-cent packages
Dr.. Pierces Fsvorite Prescription
makes weak women strong, sick
women well. No alcohol. Sold in
tablets or liquid
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

good and hope every suffering woman
win give them trial."-Mrs. ANNA
KELLY, 10 Chestnut Street, Burling-
ton, Wis.
The many convincing testimonials con.
stantly published in the newspapers
ought to be proof enough to women who
suffer from those distressing ills pecu-
liar to their sex that Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound is the medicine
they need.
This good old root and herb remedy
has proved unequalled for these dread
full ills; it contains what is needed to
restore wolnan's health and strength.
If there is any popularity in
your case requiring special adj
vice, write the Lydia Il. Pink
ham Medicine Co. (confidential)s
Lynn, Mass, for free advice.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

helped to change dairying from care
less and haphazard employment to q
businesslike and profitable industry.
The celebration is to take place at
the time of the Wisconsin Farm and
Home week and a program has been
planned which will suitably mark the
twenty-five years of dairy progress
which has been made since this great
invention was offered to the public. At
the same time will be celebrated the
first twenty-five years of successful
work by the Wisconsin Dairy school
and Wisconsin dairy and food com.
mission.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

Before an Insurance Company will
take risk on your life the examining
physician will test the urine and re-
port whether you are a good risk.
When your kidneys get sluggish and
clog, you suffer from backache, sick
headache, dizzy spells, or the twinges
and pains of lumbago. rheumatism and
govt. The urine is often cloudy, full
of sediment; channels often get sore
Zines a night. This is the time you
should consult some physician Of wide
experience-such as Dr.. Pierce, of the
Invalids Hotel and Surgical Institute,
Buffalo. y. Y. SeLd him 10 cents for
sample package of his new disco cry
-Anurie. Write him your symptoms
and send a sample Of urine for test.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
ALFALFA A GOOD
WISCONSIN CROP
BY L. e. GRADER, Secretary of the
Alfalfa Order of the Wisconsin Az
rieuIturaI Experiment Association.

ricultural Experiment Association.
Although alfalfa is now being grown
in every county of the state OF Wiscon-
sin. more farmers should raise this
crop, and many who now grow it
should increase their acreages.
No other forage combines so many
essentials of merit as does alfalfa. 1t
surpasses other crops in acre yield,
In feeding value and in its beneficial
eject upon the soil
Twenty years ago alfalfa was prac-
tically a stranger in Wisconsin, but its
introduction and dissemination has
gone on at a rapid pace until it is
estimated that not less than $4,000
acres of this great forage crop are
now grown in the state.
With an acre value nearly twice as
great as that of clover or timothy, it
seems that Wisconsin farmers have
overlooked the value OF the alfalfa
crop. But $4,000 acres of alfalfa were
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
RECIPE FOR GRAY HAIR.

To half pint of water add or Bay Rum, q
small box Of Barbo Compound, and y OF. Of
giycerine. Apply TO the hair twice week
until il becomes the desired shade. Any drug
gist can put this up or you can mix 1t at
home at very little cost. 1t will gradually
dsrken streaked, faded gray hair. and re-
moves dandruff. 1t is excellent for falling
hair and viii make harsh hair soft and glossy.
II viii not color the scalp, is not sticky or
greasy, and does not rub oif.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

fault, so l took Dodd's Kidney Pills.
They were the means of saving my
life"
Dodd's Kidney Pills. SOC per box at
your dealer, or Dodd's Medicine Co,
Buffalo, N. Y. Dodds Dyspepsia Tab
let's for Indigestion have been proved,
soc per box. Write for Household
Hints. also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and
recipes for dainty dishes. Ali 3 sent
free.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

but after tai king
Lydia E. Pinkham's
Yes e table Com
pound Tablets and
using two bottles of
the Sanative Wash
! am fully convinced
that / am entirely
cured of these trou-
bles, and feel better
all over. / know
your remedies have
done me worlds Of
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
intensely Practical.

What is your idea of a practical
philanthropist? ?"
There are various types of practi'
cal philanthropists."
"Yes?"
For instance, there is the sort OF
man who offers to give a starving
family a pound of butter if they'll pro-
vide the bread"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
What to Do for Cabbage Diseases.

l. Select seed bed on new. clean
ground each year.
2. Disinfect all seed before sowing.
8. Discard weak plants at trans
planting.
4. Do not drag cultiyators. etc,
from diseased to healthy fields.
5. Pull and bury or burn diseased
plants when they appear
6. Keep field free from mustard and
similar weeds.
7. Practice crop rotation of at least
six years.-R. E. Vaughan.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

ralgia, cramps in
my muscles. pres
sure or sharp pain
on the top of my
head and nervous
dizzy spells. ! had
9th err symptoms
showing that my
Ktdnavg were AT
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Rare Poise.

'Incalculable wealth is represented
by the men seated around that table"
"Astonishingl"
However, can't help admiring the
sang.foid of the head waiter who is
looking after the details of the ban
cuet."
"Yes?"
He couldn't be more condescend-
ing IL he were the representative OF
a foreign government here to borrow
a billion or two"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

Yeast-Doctor Pearl, the noted poul-
try authority of Maine. says that q
hens egg is similar to the human
skuu with regard to variations in size
and shane.
Crimsonbeak-Bu the similarity
ends right there. The average hui
man skull is so much thicker.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Mature Work.

why do you take camera when
you go fishing7"
why. old chap. the fish are such
slow biters I can take time exposure
of them swallowing the hook"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
No, Gray Hairs but Tired Eyes

make us look Older than we are. Keep
your Eyes young and you will look young.
After the Movies Murine Your Eyes. Don't
tell your age. Murine Eye Remedy Co..
Chicago. Sends Eye Book on request.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

Everyone knows the difficulty Of ex-
tinguishing burning gasoline owing to
the rapidity with which it spreads and
its volatile nature Ordinary house
hold ammonia is an excellent thing Tor
putting out a gasoline fame Some
fragile bottle containing about half
gallon Of ammonia that could be
hgr.ed from 2 safe distance should be
keIt sithla easy reach. where gasoline
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

grown within the state in 1909, as
compared with two and half million
acres of timothy and clover
The credit of being the first man
in Wisconsin to recognize the value
of alfalfa belongs to ex-Gov. w. d.
Hoard. who for more than 20 years has
been growing the crop.
In 1904, 345 of the 500 members of
the Wisconsin Agricultural Expert
ment association were supplied with
enough alfalfa seed to plant half
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

Trace the stone which hit to its
source and you will find. nine times
out Of ten. that it was thrown by a
friend"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
cruel 10 COWS,

Bill see Mrs Addie f. Howie of
tho School of Agriculture at the Uni.
vers,ty of Wisconsin, says cows have
souls and respond to music when
MIXED.
Jill-But doesn't Addie think II cruel
TO brighten milk out Of a poor COW
like that7-Yonkers Statesman.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

II some men possessed clear title
10 mansion in the sky the first
thing they would dc would be to
mortgage it.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
SAVED MINISTER'S LIFE.

Rev. w. H. Warner. Frederick, Nd.
writes: my trouble was Sciatica.
My back was affected and took the
form of Lumbago. l also had Neu-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
HELPFUL HINTS
FOR HOUSEWIVES
BY LAURA q. 5REEsE.

Department Of Farmers Institutes Of
the University Of Wisconsin.
In using the broiler Of a gas oven
to prevent fat from catching fire. pour
a little water into the dripping pan be.
fore you place your meat on the broil-
er to cook. In this way you will never
De troubled. as the fat drips into the
water. preventing all possibilities of
it taking fire.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

To keep clean. and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regulate
liver, bowels and stomach.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Both Uncertain.

What's the difference between plain
bridge and auction bridget"
About a hundred dollars an hour"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

What you pay for an article is its
market value; what the secondhand
dealer offers you for It is It's real
value
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

When il comes TO drawing con-
illusions all women are natural born
artists.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

Occasionally one woman leads a
man, but more often a dozen chase
him
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

Some men are as proud of their an
cestors as a self-made man is of him
self
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

is used. II would be a good thing to
add to the list of necessities when fit
ting out the automobile.
The cork crumbs in which white
grapes have been packed make an ex-
eeIlent filling for boat cushions. II
they get wet they dry out readily. and
in case Of accident may prove valua-
bic as life preservers. II is better to
box the cork and button at intervals.
since it has a tendency to bunch
Made OF tan-colored duck. the pillows
look very neat Almost any fruit
nan will give the cork away
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
PAINS IN SIDE
And BACK
How Mrs. Kelly Suffered and
How She was Cured.

Burlington, Visit was very irreg-
ular, and had pains in my side and back,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
She was Rlaht

Fortune Teller--Eou will marry q
light man.
Woman-That's Tim! He works
for the gas ompany.-Harvard Lam
poon.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Much Harder.

Much Harder.
There is nothing harder than get
ting out of bad habit"
Yes. there is-getting into a good
one. Boston Transcript
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

To lift mattresses more easily. sew
handles On them. two on each side
and one on each end Handles may De
made Of canvas or neayy cord.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Needed Respite.

81 see there's a lull in the European
war"
THAT ought to prove a great help
to the war correspondents"
ssIIcyv ao9"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

In pressing trousers, use several
thicknesses Of newspaper instead OF
cloth when pressing. This prevents
the shiny appearance which so often
follows the use Of a damp cloth. Use
the newspaper also when pressing
tucks In dress skirts. The iron will
be much easier pushed over the paper
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
When all others fail to please
Try Denison's Coffee.

F1attery is the stuff dished out to
other people-never to us.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

important Omissions.

'Shall we go to this particular re-
sort?"
well, | don't know. The booklet
plays up strongly on the sunset. the
rainbows, and the cloud effects, but
contains very few specifications as to
the beds, the bath, and the fodder"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26
Wisconsin Directory
NJ en- Wanted

A rare chance to learn the most useful trade IN
existence Can qualify to earn SIS TO s20 per
week IN S TO weeks. The Wisconsin Barber
College, 1851 Chestnut ST., Mtlwaukee, Wis
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-01-26

They will have an opportunity to
devote their undivided attention to
writing sob stuff about ruined cathe-
drals.''
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
NEW HURLERS GIVE PROMISE
Adams, Fortune and Rhoades. All
Rlpht.Handers.

There has been good deal said
about Pat Moran, manager OF the Phil.
adelphia Nationals. standing pat with
his champions. but that is hardly In
line with the facts. IIe has made q
number of changes and added quite a
bunch OF recruits for tryouts. partic.
ularly in the way OF pitchers. Three
additions TO the stan are Adams. Sc.
cured from the Chicago Cubs: For.
tune, who made fine record in North
Carolina last year, and Rhoades. who
was secured in a trade from Milwau.
kee. All are right.handers and all
hope TO become AleXanders.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
CAREER OF JIMMY CALLAHAN
Manager Of Pittsburgh Pirates Broke
Into Baseball Game at Pepperell,
Mass, In 1893.

Jimmy Callahan, manager OF tho
Pittsburgh National league club. broke
into baseball In the semiprofessional
ranks at Pepperell, Mass. in 1898. The
following year he was given trial by
the Phillies and released. In 1895 he
pitched for Springfield (Massl club
and was drafted by the Kansas City
western league) club and the Pitts.
burgh Nationals. being awarded TO the
former. The following year he went
to the Chicago Nationals and pitched
for that club for four years, when he
was obtained by the Chicago White
Sox, for whom he pitched two years.
In 1903 he was made manager OF the
team and played third base. The fol.
lowing year he resigned as manager
and played in the outfield that ard the
following season.
From 1906 to 1910 he managed the
Logan Squares OF Chicago. and in 1911
he went back TO the White Sox as an
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08

John McGraw as player was ono
OF the greatest third bascmen In the
history of baseball. and as manager
he has had more than his share OF
trouble with third base.
For many years Arthur Devlir
guarded this corner about as we'll as
anybody ever has guarded 1t. but OF
late years third base has given John
j. plenty OF worry. Temporamental
Tillie Shafer had McGraw guessing as
20 the length OF time he would stick
with the Giants, and finally he did re-.
tire, just when he was being figured
on TO play the position regularly.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
COULD NOT
STRAIGHTEN UP
Had to Go All bumped Over and
Suffered Great Pain in
Sides and Back.

Sulphur Springs, va.-Mrs. J. NJ.
Sprinkle, OF this place. writes: About
two years ago this coming spring, I
got into awfully bad health. Had been
married only short time, and my
health was not 80 good after my mr.
rlage as It had been before. and kept
getting worse all the time. was 20.
Ing down hill in health. could only
drag around. My friends recommended
that try Cardui. tried various RENE.
dies which did me no good. simply
moped all the time and felt sick all
over. So began using Cardui and
In short time was greatly i'm.
proved: after the use OF one bottle was
able to do my work.
Before starting Il. I couldn't
straighten up TO save me- had to 20
when ! went all bumped over. suffered
great pains In the abdomen. sides and
back worse than anywhere. After
the use OF ono bottle. l had no mors
pain at ALL. II 10 also q fine tonic
The cure has been permanent, and !
have had no trouble since. neither had
TO have q doctor or take any medicine
since. II built me up In health aud
strength"
II you suffer from any OF the all.
ments so common TO women try
Cardui. the woman's tonic. For sale
by all druggists. Adv.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
DAY OF SL0WBALL TWIRLER
Pitcher Who HASN'T Unusual Speed
tas No More Chance in American
League Organization.

Jimmy Burke has something 70 say
about American league pitching that is
worth passing on. Declares the pep.
perry one: The day OF the slow ball
pitcher has passed. I don't care who
he is. or what he has. a finger who
hasn't unusual speed has no chance In
the American league any more. Abso
lutely the only ball that can get by Ia
this circuit is a fast one with cayenne
whiskers, whatever they are. An as
sortment OF curves and foaters is all
right to make variety, but a fast ball
Is the de luxe requirement these days"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
Mike Mowry.

the Brooklyn club, thanks to the
friendship Of Manager Wilbert Robin.
son. Both are residents OF Baltimore
and Robinson is known for his loyalty
TO his home town and fellow towns.
men. It is not all a case OF friend
ship, however, Robinson believes that
Mowry will give him his best sery.
ices and that doing that he may be
q valuable member OF the team.
Mowry had row with Roger Bresna.
han when Roger managed the Cardi.
nails that impaired his usefulness in
ST. Louis and he was ehipped 70 Pitts.
burgh. He did not get along there
and drew his release, enlist!ng with
the Pittsburgh Feds. With the out.
laws also he did not jibe and another
release followed In spite OF all this
he Is regarded by many as q capable
player, and has surprising number
OF friends wherever he has played
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08

Stop using calomell II makes you
sick. Don't lose days work. II you
feel lazy. sluggish. bilious or consti.
pated. listen to me!
Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver
which causes necrosis OF the bones.
Calomel. when II comes into contact
with sour bile, crashes into II. breaking
4 up. This is when you feel that aw.
ful nausea and cramping. II you feel
''all knocked out" II your liver 10 tor.
pid and bowels constipated or you
have headache, dizziness, coated
tongue. II breath ia bad or stomach
sour Just try spoonful Of harmless
Dodsons Liver Tone.
Here's my guarantee--Go TO any
drug store or dealer and get a 50.cent
bottle Of Dodson's Liver Tono. Take q
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
HIGHER CLASS IN 1916
President OF American Associa.
ton Is Quite Optimistic.
Predicts Faster Ball VIII BE Played
Account Large Number Of Players
Thrown on Market After Fed
erai League Dlsbanded.

Faster ball will be played in the
American Association during the sea.
son OF 1916 than in any period In
the history OF the organization. The
reason for this is the large number OF
good players that were on the market
after the Federal league disbanded
The club owners OF the American
association were prompt In taking ad.
vantag, OF this situation, and think
their patrons will appreciate their
energy when the season is under way.
II is fact that the FeGeral league
developed a large number OF young
ball players, In fact, too many for the
major leagues to take care OF under
the existing limitations on major
league teams in the number OF men
they can carry.
Most OF these players have come to
the American association teams and
this class OF talent combined with tho
best men on the teams OF last year
will serve To advance tho general
standard OF play to plane higher
than has been reached by any organi.
zation outside the two major leagues.
That there has been q decided re-
viyal OF interest in the national snort
is evidenced by the immense crowds
that attended the opening games.
Everything considered, It Is but rea.
sonable 70 anticipate that 1916 will be
the banner year OF the association.
With the many changes in the per.
sonnel OF the teams. any prediction as
70 the final outcome OF the ponnant
race before the middle OF the season
would be largely guesswork Until
the different combinations and changes
are tested in actual play on the dia.
monds during the first two months
OF the season. thcir ultimate worth
and comparative ability will remain
In doubt look for close race.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
CALOMEL WHEN BILIOUS? MOI! STOP!
ACTS LIKE DYNAMITE ON LIVER
Guarantee "Dodsons Liver Tone" win Give You the Best LIVER
and Bowel Cleansing You Ever HadDoesnt Make You Sckl

spoonful and II It doesn't straishten
you right up and make you feel ms
and vigorous want you to 90 back 10
the store and get your money. Dod'
sons Liver Tone Is destroying the
sale OF calomel because II Is real liver
medicine; entirely vegetable, therefore
Il cannot salivate or make you sick.
guarantee that one spoonful OF
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver TO work and clean VOW
bowels of that sour bile and const'
pated waste which Is clogglng your
system and making you feel miserable.
I guarantee that bottle OF Dodson's
Liver Tone will keep your entire fam
ily feeling fine for months. Give 1t to
your children. II is harmless; doesn't
grippe and they like It's pleasant taste
ADV
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
A Famous Physicians
Wonderful Discovery

After series q careful experiments
and tests nt the In>1lids' Hotel and Sur.
glcal Institute HfTylo. =. T., covering
many years-Dr. Pierce, the medical di.
rector OF that hospital made announcement
that he could prove thst medicine which
he called "ANCRlC" was the best uric
acid solvent now TO be had. As rem.
edy for those easily recognized symptoms
Of inflammation scaldng urine, back.
ache and frequent urinntion. as well as
sediment in the urine, or II uric acid in
the blood has caused rheumatism, lrm.
bago, sciatica, gout, il is simply wonder.
ful how quickly "Anuric" acts; causing
the pains and stiffness rapidly TO disap.
pear.
Swollen hands, ankles. fee, are due 10
= dropsicnl condition, often caused bv
disordered kidneys. Naturally when the
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1916-06-08
The Front Row,

The British army has raised It's
age limit to forty.five years" said II.
z. Gresham. the British consul at
Cleveland. The age limit originally
was thirty-eight.
THE army isn't so exclusive. either,
as to age or as TO physique as II was
at first.
"A Stacker in Manchester tried TO
get exempted the other day.
i've got such poor eyesight.' he
said. I can't see any distance at all.
oh. thatll be all right said the
surgeon. You'll have an excellent
view. Wen give you trench in the
very front line"