davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
MADE THEM BOTH ASHAMED
FraiI NeWsboy Taught Irritable Bust
ness Men the Folly Of Giving
Way TO Temper.

Apparently it had been a bad day
for the big, pompous business man.
and he must have dealt heavily in
wheat just before the 2,000,OO0-bushel
contract was Cancelled, for he slammed
his office door shut with bang and
mumbled something profane concern
ing the breaks in the market as he
shambled out into the street.
He might have known that enc OF
US would have to turn out, but he eX-
pected me to dc it, and | wasn't IN
pleasant frame of mind myself, what
with trying headache all afternoon
and fuss with the boss. So | didn't
propose t. get cut of somebody's way
when | was on the right side and he
was wrong.
Well, we couldn't walk through each
other, so we just naturally came to-
gether, while the big business man
proceeded to cuss me as he had just
finished cursing the market, and |
tried to make him understand that he
couldn't walk over me, regardless OF
markets
Then Benny came hobbling along;
Benny Paul, who was whistling to
beat the band! His snail, frail body
was bent On crutches and he was lug
ging a big bundle Of papers that
seemed almost too much for him, but
he was whistling just the same. Not
a worry nor a care, making the best
of today and hoping for the best from
an uncertain tomorrow. He stepped
and smiled. Paper, mister?" he called
cheerily.
l exchanged a sheepish glance with
the big business man, and he dug
down in his trousers pocket and said:
I'll take the whole bundle" Then he
paid Benny for them and gave them
back, and I bought them and did the
same thing, and we all whistled!-St.
Paul Pioneer Press.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
His Precarious Condition.

81 overheard someone saying that
your nephew, Emmett Uckles, is lying
in a critical condition. What is the
nature CT his complaint?'
HE isn't making any" replied
Uncle Fogy. 1T is his wife who is
doing the complaining. You see, EN-
raett went to Kansas City not long
ago to buy goods, and few days after
his return there came dainty note
signed Your Little Sunshine It fell
into his wife's hands, and he has been
lying ever since. should call his con-
6ition middlin' critical, too, for | don't
see how in tunket he is going to
falsify his way out OF it. kansas
City Star.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Cotton c OPS in China.

In China few farmers have all their
land in one plot. A farm of eighty
Chinese acres may consist of from
five to fifteen pieces lying in different
sides of the village.
How do you manage to watch all
of these all night?" traveller asked.
I'VE go from one to the other,' is
the answer.
When cotton is the crop few can
resist the temptation to pick their
neighbours fields as they go by.
The Waterman sees some one at the
end Of the field meandering slowly
along with basket on his arm, pick.
ing as he goes.
Hey! Who are your yells the
Waterman. No answer. The figure
passes on little faster, but keeps on
picking. II he is lucky, he manages
to slip into the cotton patch OF some
body else and goes on with mis- sue
cessful differing.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
-. -. L.. -. - sr.--'..
"PIP-s0UEAKS" AND "GksPEa"
Trench Journals Published by Soldiers
Have Names That Are Hard
to Understand.

The editors of many Of the curious
little trench journals, which are being
brought out in ever-increasing mum.
bers by soldiers at the front, have a
perfect genius for i%:r cnting queer and
bizarre titles for t1eir publications.
Some of these, though certainly
strange-sounding, are at least under
standable. The "Pow-Wow," for in
stance, which is the trench journal OF
the Twentieth Battalion Royal Fusi-
Tiers, conveys some sort of an intel
ligible idea to most people.
But the same cannot be said Of the
"Lead-Swinger," which, its subtitle in
forms us, is The Bivouac Journal of
the Third West Riding Field Ambu-
lance" Is "lead-swinger' Army slang
for an ambulance man? Or what?
"Pip-Squeaks" is another puzzling
title, until one learns incidentally, on
glazing through it's inside pages, that
''pip-squeak" is a special kind of small
German shell, so-called by Tommy
from the noise it makes when fired.
The Comb and Paper reports and
criticizes concerts and other similar
entertainments at the front. The
Hangar Herald presents no difficult
ties to anyone who knows that han
gar" is the name airmen give to the
sheds where their aeroplanes are
stored. The paper deals, as its name
implies, with the doings Of aviators
at the front.
The "Gaspar" is paper published
so its editor informs us, for soldiers
at the base" and he goes on to tell
US, incidentally, that the base is
place where troops are kept until they
are 50 fed up that they do not mind
getting killed
Yet another of these curiously
named ventures in active service jour-
nalism is entitled 'Dickey ScrapinGs,"
and its substitute, which is at least
self-explanatory, even if somewhat diff
fuse, is as follows: THE Only Au-
thorized Version OF the Doings of the
Honorable and Ancient Order of the
Cooks of the Artists Rifles"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Ace of Elephants and Parrots.

Eardley-Wilmot, in his Life Of an
Elephant" says that these animals
live che hundred years under favor
able circumstances. +. Lydekker in
his Great and Small Game Of India"
says Of the Indian elephant that its
age depends upon its teeth.
Definite information as to the age
Of parrots is hard to. find. In work
On Parrots il Captivity enc black
Madagascar specimen in the London
zoo is mentioned, which was present
ed to the society full grown III 1881,
and was still alive and well in 1884.
Several others about twenty years CID
are meEtiCred.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
BUsINEss s00kGiRlG IN JAPAN
Lona Spell of Depression Has Esen
Succeeded by Gratifying Era ct
Good Times.

After long spell Of depression the
tide has turned in Japan. "But for the
war and cheap rice says the Japan
Times, the turn would have come
months ago. But the farmers make
up with the abundance of their crop
for the cheapness of the grain, and
the war itself has brought consider
able prosperity to not few lines Of
industry and business, as the company
returns for the first half-yearly term
show Compared with the preceding
term, Is weaving companies saw an
increase of their profits by $40 per
cent, chemical industry companies by
120 per cent, seven exchanges by SO
per cent, four sugar companies by so
per cent, seven warehouse companies
by 70 per cent, 10 spinning companies
and four -four mill companies by 45
per cent. Increases of profits seem
to have been and to continue to be
the general rule, the exceptions being
the railway, gas, kiln and few other
businesses. Most noticeable of all,
raw silk has OF late been going up in
price until it has now more than re-
covered the high level of 600 yen a
bale which it fetched before the out
break of the war. The fact seems to
be that a business revival is already
here, and it only requires the loosen
ing of capitalists purse strings for
new enterprises to make the country
realize the turn of the tide"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Earned Rapid Promotion.

Rapid promotion rewards those who
serve we'll the army of France. About
the most remarkable cases Of advance
ment is that Of General Petain, who
was only colonel commanding the
Thirty-third infantry regiment at
Arras at the beginning of the war.
Successfully he became general Of
brigade, general of division, and COM
mander OF an army corps, and now for
nearly six months he has been at the
head Of one of the principal armies,
which recently covered itself with
glory. General Petain is one of tie
most esteemed chiefs, and his high
qualities of strategy, energy and cool
ness have not fer single moment
failed him during the different opera
tons in which he has taken part.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
BEST PART or FISH WASTED
Public Scaliy Not Educated to ApPrc'
ciate the Titbits OF the Alaska
Salmon.

AS saw the Admiral Watson taking
on thousands of cases of salmon at
Seldovia | asked Mr.. Randolph how
long the fish then being shipped had
been out Of the water, relates John A.
Sleicher, in Leslie's. He said: Only
a day. They go from here to Seattle
and can be on your table in New York
in three or four weeks after they are
caught" Fresh fish.
Mr.. Randolph said that one Of the
choicest delicacies he ever ate was a
mess of Dreaded broiled hearts Of the
big king salmon. Some of these fish
weigh 1S0 pounds each, while the red
or "sockeye" salmon average only
eight pounds "They taste like sweet
breads" he added. 1T is too bad they
are wasted" And so are the fine, large
livers, as big as your hand, and the
spawn which if it was sturgeon eggs
would command high price for
caviar. Plans to utilize some of these
products are being studied by Mr.. Ran
dolph and by others. Another tltDlt
is the little chunk of sweet, tender
meat lodged in the cheek of the sal
mon, just below the gills. The can
ners reserve such delicacies for them
selves and their friends, but the time
will come when they will find specia!
mention on the menus Of the highest
priced restaurants.
The Gamers get at wholesale only
about thirteen cents for one-pound
can of the best red salmon and only
half the price for the pink and even
less for the white. The red salmon
constituted only three-seVenths Of the
pack, but three-fourths in value OF the
entire product The public prefers the
red meat and is willing to pay double
price for it. So much for gratifying
a taste.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
May Be Longest European War.

1t is pointed out that if the war
lasts until the autumn of 1916 it will
have been longer than any great war
in Europe since the fall of Napoleon.
Each Of the two Balkan wars of
1928 was a matter of weeks. So
were the Serbo-Bulgarian war of
1885 and the Turco-Greek war Of 1897.
The Crimean war lasted little more
than year, while the Franco-Prussian
war was practically decided in a
month, although Paris was holding out
seven months afterward. The Russo
Japanese war lasted about twelve
months, as did the Turco-Italian war
in 1911-12. The Boer war ran for
two and a half years, but that can
not be called European war. The
American Civil war lasted for four
years.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
SAVE CAKE SIXTEEN YEARS
Fond Parents Still Wait for Their Boy,
Who Went to the Boer War
in 1899.

Though the suspicion grows that a
soft-nosed bullet and an African veldt
may hold the secret of their boys fail
ure to return from the Boer war, Mr..
and Mrs. William Rice, 156 Rondo
street, st. Paul, have not unwrapped
or thrown away the little English plum
pudding that they made for his Christ
mas dinner 16 years ago. The pud-
ding, his favorite dish, reposes in bu-
reau waiting his return.
The sons name is John Rice, and
although his parents call him their
boy he was an adult when he went
to war in behalf Of his fathers coun-
try. His name never appeared among
those of the dead and wounded.
The story of the watchful waiting
parents became known Christmas
when William Rice took his presents
to Mrs. Rice, who was at st. Paul City
hospital because of broken leg. The
last word from John was received in
1899, and came on postal card.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
THOUGHT SHE KNEW COFFEE
Young Lady, Testing Beverage Made
of Refuse, Declared 1t Unmistak-
ably the Right Thing.

A great many people who Halter
themselves that they are judges Of
coffee or other beverages may learn
a lesson of caution from the expert
mepts carried on by Sir Hiram Maxim
when he was trying to find paa-
table preparation OF wheat and coffee.
1t occurred to me, says Sir Hiram in
MY Life" that very few people knew
much about coffee. One Sunday !
brought out from the Maxim Lamp
works about thirty young men ana
women. My stenographer was also
present; she was Ole Of those young
ladies that know all-from whose de-
cisions there is no appeal.
had cleared off long bench and
arranged on it large number Of cups,
milk. sugar, cream, much coffee, and
plenty of apparatus for making coffee.
l got from the army and navy stores
various kinds of coffee that were sup
posed to be the very best in the world,
such as Mocha, Java, and SO forth, and
| also got from dealer in coffee some
Of the swcepings and siftings OF his
shop-small, imperfect, and broken
kernels. These | freed from dust a0d
dirt, roasted and ground, and mixed
with three times their weight Of chic
Dry. was ready for the test.
My shorthand writer came in, tasted
the Mocha, the Java, the Costa Rica,
and pronounced them all very bad.
She then tried some of my wheat cof-
fee, which she said, was also bad,
but not so bad as the others. Put when
she reached the mixture q siitingS
and chicory she was delighted. That
is Coffee" she said, with an air OF
fnality. That's it! That's the right
stuff"
In all probability the young lady had
never tasted a cup Of genuine coffee
in her life until that Sunday morning.
Youths Companion.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Given Shakespearean Names.

A British paper announces that the
problem of finding names for the sta
tons on the new section Of the Ket-
tie Valley railway portion of the Cana
dian Pacific which runs through the
Hope mountains has been solved in
distinctly original manner. The
construction of the railway is now
almost completed, and it has been
decided to name the stations after
well-known Shakespearean characters.
One station just north of the Co.
quahalla River canyon is called Othel-
10, another Lear, a third Jessica, a
fourth Portia, and a fifth Iago. Ro-
meo, another station, is eternally sep
arated from Juliet by Coquahalla sum-
nit, which is $500 feet above sea
level, and not likely to be moved by
anything short OF an earthquake.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Locating 1t.

A well-knoWn stockbroker has hab.
it of wandering into the larder at night
and disposing of anything that tenpts
his appetite.
One day his wife was discussing
luncheon with the maid, AID, recall
ing a pudding that they had Lot been
able to finish the evening before, she
said:
DO you know where that cold pud
ding is, Clara?"
Yes, ma'am," replied the girl, a new
importation, without smile. ut has
gone to the city"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
How Do You Invs2

Is your love for anyone tinged with
jealousy? Stop! Think All jealousy
is selfishness, for it proves that you
are but loving yourself through an.
other. Ii your love were wholly for
the object, the other person, nothing
that could in the least add to that
others happiness would cause you sor-
row. His happiness would be your
happiness; his grief your grief. The
truest love welcomes opportunity to
sacrifice, even though it be the giving
up of the adored object to anothe r. if
it be for the loved ones highest nap
piness.-Exchange
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
He's the Wittiest Student.

Edward Marshall Maslin is an
nounced to be the wittiest student Of
the University of California, and has
been awarded the Irving prize for
wit and humor" for his essay "On
the Futility of Twitching Up Ones
Trousers to Prevent Bagging at the
Knees" and for a group of futurist
verses, "songs on serious subjects Tin
the cubist way).
Maslin is junior from Jacksonville.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Gaze Cod Canal.

An idea Of the value Of the Cape
Go canal to shipping is given in the
fact that more than two thousand
five hundred vessels have passed
through this waterway since it was
opened in the suIaner of 1914, each
of these vessels saving something like
seventy miles of travel and avoiding
the dangerous route around Cape Cod.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Safe Spot.

so when YOU had two hundred feet
start to cape you ran instead di-
rectly up 60 the bear when your gun
failed to work? 1 don't know whether
you were a foolhardy hero or a rat
tied ton!!,,> declared the doctor as he
seEsd up Smiths numerous wounds.
Il was neither" explained Smith.
'T used remarkable Judgment at a
critical moment. You see, the pear
was between Jones and myself 1
saw Jones was about TO fire. So
took shelter at the safest spot-with
the bear"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Some Improvement.

"Mrs. Dubwaite doesn't seem to
mind how much Mr.. Dubwaite oper-
ates the phonograph."
'In the language of well-known
advertiser, There's a reason"
"Yes?"
GAS a choice between two evils,
Mrs. Dubwaite much prefers the phono'
graph. Mr.. Dubwaite's favorite diver.
sion in the evening used to be picking
out a tune on the piano with one
finger"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Illuminating Work.

II have here, sir, compendium of
useful knowledge"
Does that book contain any in
formation that will help me in my
business?"
Most assuredly, sir. I understand
you deal in trunks"
yes"
"Well, there's a chapter on crime in
this volume that gives full details OF
all the trunk mysteries ever recorded.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
Cuban Sugar Crop Large.

Estimates of exports on the Cuban
sugar crop Of 1876 show that it
will be a record one. One hundred
and Lightweight sugar centrals have
begun grinding the sugar as against
176 in operation last season. The case
is said to be the best in quality in
years, cool weather having ripened it
properly and added a higher saccha-
riue content than usual.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
n, tee

ANY one desiring TO sell any kind Of
property al pubic auction may receive
my services on application. | will c-y
ANY sales which nay he trusted t. me at
reason; BILE .hargcs and guarantee that [
vii sell the property - as high price rs
anyone else can obtain for il, respect
fully s"'i"i' the patronage of Ike people
of Highland. :: 3
CLYDE HEROLD
Mill Gap, Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-03-24
O. }. Campbell l.
LOCAL DENTIST
MONTERREY, VA.
Office in Masonic Temple

By the administration Of Som
noforn, teeth are extracted abso-
lutely without pains; fer than
chloroform, ether or nitrt US Oxide
and its administration is not fol-
lowed by any OF the accompany
ing disagrecable effects Of cocaine,
eucaine or any of the numerous
Deal anaesthetics.
UNIVERSITY OF CHINA
Head of Public School system of Ia
DEPARTMENTS REPRESENTED:
College, Graduate, Law,
Medicine Engineering
Loan Funds Available TO deserving stu
dents. $40 covers ali costs 20 virginia.
students in the Academic Departments.
send for catalogue.
Howard WATSON. Registrar
University, va
Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1915-current, 1916-10-27
INVESTIGATION STARTS
ON EIGHT HOUR LAW

WASHINGTON, Oct. 27.-Prelimln.
AIRY work on q nationwide lnvestiga.
ton of the recently enacted so.called
eight.bour law for railroad employees
will be started within very short
time by President Wilson's commits.
sion. headed by Mai. Gen. George W.
Cocktails. which was appointed es.
pecially TO observe. investigate and re-.
port to congress on the operation OF
the measure
while the commission will not be
formally organized for some time and
the actual work Of tho investigation
viii be delayed until after tho eight.
hour law takes effect on January /.
complete plans for the inquiry will h.
developed at once.
Conferences between General Goc.
thals. Trade Commits Toner George
Rnhlce. and Interstate Commerce Com.
missioner Clark. the other members of
the committee. have already taken up
the question Of preliminary organiza.
ton end have discussed plans for a
general scheme on which tho inquiry
VIII be based. This plan will be com.
pictcd and ready when the law BE-.
comes effective. and tho commission
viii then begin the actual work Of In.
ye3iiSation n once.
Meantime plans have been com.
pleted for ,hnrgoncral review Of rail.
road legIdlalion and railroad condl.
tons by The Joint Interstate Com.
merce Subcommittee Of the House and
Senate, headed by Representative
Adomson and Senator Newlands.
Chairman Newlands has prepared and
Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1915-current, 1916-10-27
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION

O2T5s
Elko, Nevada. Land Office, SepLem
Der 80. 1916.
Notice is hereby given that PETER
S. lNDART. OF Whiterock. County oi
Elko, State OF Nevada, has filed 10
this office his application to enter
under the provision of Sections 1906
1907. Revised Statutes OF the United
States. the following described land
viz:
The Southwest quarter OF the North
east quarter (S%& OF NEh) OF Sec
ton s. Township "A North, Range 5C
East, NJ. D. B. & 81. containing 4
acres.
Any and all persons claiming al
yersely the lands described. OF desir
ing 10 object, because OF the mineral
character OF the land. or for any other
reason. TO the disposal 10 applicant
should file their affidaYIts OF protest.
IN this office. on or before the 10th
day of November. 1916.
JOHN K. ROBBINS. Register.
First publication. Oct 3. 1916.
Last publication. Nov. 5, 1915.
Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1915-current, 1916-10-27
It's A Big Job

fused. These commissioners wert
each paid 5000 a year more than III,
I Governor. and this fact alone was Civ
en- a. q reason why 8 simple work
man" could not be considered for Z
! cOmInissionership.
With this commission erected. Nj
Hughes utilized its existence as 2
blockade to all legislation passed b.
. the legislature 10 improve the condi.
tions OF railroad workers. using his
veto pen with such diligence as TO
eventually discourage the considera.
ton OF bills offered by the railroad.
mems brotherhOods a; Albany. 4 few
samples OF these vetoes will serve 10
illustrate the Hughes attitude toward
railroad workers vs.. railroad corpora
tons:
In 1907. his first year as governor.
he vetoed Assembly bill No. 466, TO
provide a full train crew on freight
trains of more than 90 cars. first he
had the bill recalled from him TO avoid
a direct veto. but the legislature re-
passed it, and he then vetoed It after
the legislature had adjourned and the
opportunity 10 enact It over his veto
was removed
He vetoed the Wagner Assembly bill
10 establish q fiye.cent fare TO Coney
Island. the New York City breathing
resort Of the mass Of the wage earning
population whose homes are in con-
sested 6 TO 10 story buildings.
The same year he vetoed Assembly
bill No. 6S2. TO compel the surface rail
ways Of Kings and Queens counties 10
provide yestibules on their cars in the
winter months for the protection Of
the employees and passengers. At the
same time he vetoed eSnate Bill No
ll12, 10 prohibit employment of non.
residents Of the State as armed strike
breakers b. railroads and other cor.
porations.
In 1908 he vetoed the McGregory As
sembly bill TO prevent rear end col.
Iisions by requiring an extra man be.
side engineer and fireman on lieht en-.
gines running ten miles outside OF yard
limits.
In 1909 he vetoed the Surpless.Gled,
hill bill to compel street railway com.
Panies 10 have vestibules on cars oDer.
atins in the city and suburbs OF Brook.
lyn during the winter months.
As a sidelight on his idea OF what
wages worllmen on public work should
get as compared with high class" law.
yers on public service commissions, he
in 1910 vetoed Assembly bill No. 1896.
which raised the pay OF axe-men and
laborcrs on state highway and canal
construction from $500 per day to So
per month.
So. it will be- observed. that the Gov.
'Tnor Charles e Hughes of leO7l91C
loes not differ in the least from the
Presidential Candidate Charles Evans
Hughes OF 1916 He is running true "a
form. II is up to you to use the
switch, plant red light" on the
track.-Sparks Tribune.