The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-11-04
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
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PltlIess Publicity.

Il see Mr.. Hughes wud like to know
fwhat's to come to Pltiless Publicity
Meself could tell him. where's "Pltl-
less Publicity"r says Hughes. In the
Ash Cam, says l. Twas all right on
the stump, but in Washln'ton It's
differ. The Harp that wanst through
Trenton's halls'-I name Tumulty.
Win he bursts into song now he picks
his chunei
"'Tis not that Prisidint Wilson is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pitlless. IT'S like the show
man. He tells We ALL an more, about
tn illyfsnt, but he has mlntal res'va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 It is wild Wilson. He's sof'ned
the hard heart iv 'Pitiless Publicity
How about the PostmastersT axes
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell ye,
says the Cmishun. For whyT says
the League. T'wld embar'ss tn Ad-
ministhrashun,' says the C'mishun.
And the people laughs. 'Ye fired tn
Hid Nv the Clnsus,' says Hughes. 'Ye
lle,' says RedHeld. lie raysined Wild
out bein' axed,' says he. Ye lie yer
self says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an We gev me place to a
pOl'tlcian,' says Durand. Txac'ly fwhat
| said,' yells Pink Whiskers, 4 was
goln' to fire We anyway, but I niver
axed We 70 raysine, says Pinky. An
the people rOars.
"Tell us about all thin Dlshurvln'
Dlmmycrats, says the people. An
Washln'ton is sweep be a storm iv
silence.
But doan't We think there's no pub
licity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet, too.
"'We'll grab some land in vinzu-
eely,' says the Ambassydure.
'tem'prily,' says he. Yen not says
Teddy, yen agree to arbltrate,' says
he, or he says, lin tin days Deweyll
be there says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
sint,' says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, I'll sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. We
agree says he,--an' divil bit did we
know how II was for dozen year.
''We'll have Ferdy Carey alive, or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says ON demand Nv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
"HOw is II now? The greasers
slaughtered twinty at Sanity Isabel An
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines, Twinty Americans killed. they
says. The Prisidint Calm, says they.
'Ates Bacon aud Eggs. Plays GOluf,
says the headlines. An the paper
goes on:
1.-The Prisidlnt's appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader Nv the ma
shun gettin' outside iv' grape fruit,
bacon an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin Docther Grayson announced the
bill Nv fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
1.-THE PriSidint is sOlvin' in privacy
the fateful question, "Will me throat
last?" The answer is waited wild few
erish anxiety
"MOndah, the papers says 'Nashun-
al Disaster? Sore Throat Feared, Pan
ic at the Capital. The Prisidint Calm.
Consideration was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisldint awOke with a sore throat.
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
talk iv appintin' u day iv prayer. 1t
is hoped that Senior Arre-ye-On-though
will claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ixlcushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisldlnt made but van remark ::
"Av they'd not been there they'd not
lv been kilt
"Choosdah, they says. Hope revives.
No sore throat. Bitten by insect.
PrisidInt calm. All Phrases iv Mat
Their to be considered.
"'The anxiety In the Capital was re-
laved today be the follOwin' bulletin:
"'"The Prisidint has a slight per-
foration in the cuticle over the infery-
ure maximary caused by insect bitin'
him whin asleep. The patient was too
proud to scratch. (Slgned) Grayson."
at is reported also that Glneral
Scott will go to the border to bury the
dead, and apologize to the Insurgents.
He will axe Carranzy, whether he wud
accept a loan If offered This is con-
sldered the thrue sutton ~ the diff
Guilty.
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in, Thursdah he writes a note and
Gineral Scott starts for the border.
Fridah the headlines says Peace In
Europe near. Prisidlnt studyin' terms.
WIN he stop the WARP Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
"But we're comforted be bein' towld
the Prisldint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah, he's conslderin' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he ad-
vises Grandmothers about suckin'
eggs And another crisis is mast