Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1916-10-20
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Purging the Heart

y oas Inv AS
Which iv them2 All iv them. He
smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
freshin' jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on a horn an ivrythin' falls for ut.
If the people call him liver so soft,
Little Samuel had no quicker ear. An
for sacryfcin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocricy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
"Tis his Presbyterian bringin' up,
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts a policy;
thin he thries to justify 1t, thin he
sanctiies 1t wild a phrase, while a choir
Nv Dishurvin D~immycrats sings a
hymn. An there We are. Justification.
Adoption an Sankty-fcashun.
e 1.-The choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Bill
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
Nv the life ~ the great Idaylist
"Harvey went back to edith an Bill
Brine whit In search iv the Howly
Kale. McCombs was canned, because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing a
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff ragtime. But Wudthrow die
grated thin all. Wild f'what say ye?
Wild the Order " the Double Cross.
Ohio. / mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club, whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what Wudthrow
calls the vital stuffs Nv life.' Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redf1eld for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow is fond iv music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man.. Faith av he danced a Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear a sound.
"Well wan night In August the
Colonel come tiptoein' in through the
basement dure.
SLOWS the game, Colonel7' says
Wudthrow. $685. the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up a few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an
absent air.
saint I got the full dinner-pairs?'
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and
a half says House pleasantly. 'Aint
1 KEEP EN- out O. WARP axes Wudthrow.
Part o. tn time,' says House rubbin'
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. .Aint my voice our
greatest liquid assetT axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says House,
but a lot iv suckers can't tell a asset
firm an li'bility, the Colonel says
".F'what are We drivin' at says
Wilson, four flushing a little.
".Arre We watchin' the striker says
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
well, Sir, he left Wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. 4 hear he says, in a low
sweet tone that vice iv the people.
which is to me as the vice of a Car
negie Penshun.' Oh he says thrill
lin in ivry nerve, must I indade sacry-
fee wan more IDOL says he, ON the
altar Nv me Counthryr says Wud-
throw.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says;
AN the Tariff for Rev'noo,' he says;
AN all me friends, beside says he,
sixteen per'fy good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enoughT he axes
in agony. But 1 will purge me Heart
iv ivry pers'nal fought says he,
startin' for bed. An before he re-
tires, he takes a Heart Purge iv his
own invinshun the way 1t IL wurk
while he sleeps. I dinnaw f'what the
purge Is. TITS a secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted a great sacryf1se Of a pur-
rinciple, lear to his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged s~acryfses. So
he sends for House. Colonel says
he, 'F'what p%ur-rinciple d'yr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincyT he axes
anxiously.
"'Whisper,' says the Colonel. And
he said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear,
and faded silently away through the
dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stud
s%pellbound. Thin he burst into a
whoop; 1.-THE Ram In the Bushes
cries he wild tears iv j'y.
'sT'was an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryise vas s~olemny-ised
at the Capitol.
1.-THE procession started f'om the
White House wild the Prisidint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
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