davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
Satire Still Lives.
(TOledO NeWS-Bee. )

Once upon a time, not so very named him Willie.
 When this boy was two years old, he caught the whooping couch. For tunately Professor Bordet, of Brussels, had discovered that anti-toxin serum from a cat would cure Whoop1ng cough, and some cat serum was in- 1 Jected into Willie
 Soon after Willie got about again he was taken with the measles. Fortunately, Dr. John P Anderson, of Washington, had discovered that anti-toxin serum from monkey would cure the measles. So, they pumped monkey serum into the boy, and the measles didn't kill him. One day Willie was playing with his pet terrier when the dog scratched him. So his folks, fearing hydrophobia in it's worst form, rushed him down to New Jersey, where there is a great institute in honor of Pro- lessor Pasteur, who fortunately dis covered that anti-toxin serum from a dog was a fine thing for rabies. They pumped dog serum into little Willie for two months.
 
 the way home rode in a Pullman sleeper in which a smallpox case had been discovered. Fortunately, Dr. Jenner had discovered that anti toxin from a COW would cure small pox, and so, on getting home, they pricked some COW serum into Willie's arm.
 We'll Willie lived along until he was ten years old, when, one night, his folks were sent into a panic by discovering that he had black dip theria. Fortunately, noted physician had discovered that anti-tOxin serum from a horse would cure diphtheria, if anything would, and so they gave Willie some horse serum, hypoder- mically.
 Finally, at 40 years of ago, Willie was taken with mysterious malady. None of the doctors could tell defi- nitely what it was. At last, as Willie was very low, very learned scientist from a great eastern institute visited him and pronounced it general de- hility" "But, cheer up, my man!' said the scientist, 1T have here an arti-toxin from"
 NO more menagerie in mine" sighed Willie. Life has been but one blamed serum after another.' Whereupon he turned over and died, much to the regret of the scientist, who felt sure that he was about to enrich medical science with another great discovery, since he was about to try serum from a hen and from an alligator on general debility
 We don't know that there's any moral to this story. There's a whole lot of Gods truth to 1t anyhow.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
Summer in Virginia.

(RichmOnd Time -Dispatch). Perhaps you've been perspiring, And hotly, madly wiring, To find a place in comfort to recline: Perhaps you have been swearing Because the sun kept nearing But don't you now admit this wealth There are times In Virginia When every nerve and sinew Seems likely to melt up and float
 away;
 Last week it did seem rather We'd be reduced to lather- But who on earth could kick about
 today?
 Although the sun is shining, That should not cause replning- It only gives the shade deeper zest; And breezes sweetly singing, Assurances are bringing This is Virginia's summer at its pest.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
LEADERS OF OLD,

Shorty after the great ship Titanic struck an iceberg four years ago and went beneath the waves carrying some two thousand souls to a watery grave, an investigation was instituted by the United States Senate. A prominent figure in the conduct of the hearings was Senator William Alden Smith, Re- publican, of Michigan, who was then as now, member of the Senate com mittee on naval affairs. Those who remember the events of that time can not forget the chagrin experienced by all good Americans when the Eng pathia unintentionally displayed Sen- ator Smiths ignorance of things naval. In consistently questioning the cap- tain 1t was finally shown Senator Smith knew as much about a steamship or any other kind of vessel as some back woodsman. Yet, he held and still holds an important place on, the com mittee of naval affairs. Now, by the right of seniority, because he is the oldest serving member of that com mittee, the Senator from Michigan would be placed at the head of this Congressional group if Charles Evans Hughes is elected President of the United States. Should this happen the very thing that Candidate Hughes ic hn11ipO oai11St a61 i1o- istration would be fragrant in the Hughes regime. The cry of sectional ism Is raised in vain when the law of seniority remains in effect. The men who are now serving at the heads of committees in the House and Senate are there because they have served many years in Congress-
 and because the party to which they belong is in control. Were MT. Hughes to go in office tomorrow the same law would be followed out. It is the law of Congress, and the Presi- dent has nothing to do with it.
 In an interesting article from it's Washington Correspondent the New York Evening Post sets forth the brand of committee chairmen that would be in vogue should MT. Hughes ascend to the place now occupied by Woodrow Wilson. By the law of seniority the Republicans would then take the same places occupied now by Democrats. Boise Penrose
 for instance as ranking member of the finance committee would immedi- ately take his place at the head of the long table whenever the commit tee met In the work of preparing a new tariff and duties he would be ably assisted as chairman of the ways
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31

opulent city of Magma GraeCia, as the numerous colonies of Southern Italy and Sicily were known. The gold coins of this period. considered the most beautiful ever struck by Gre clan city, are 9n index to wealth and art of this resplendent community. Prosperity soon bred shameful wan tonness among its aristocrats, so that when a Tarentine mob attacked a Roman fleet at anchor in it's harbor and the latter city declared war on the southern metropolis its citizens were not prepared for the hardships of battle. Pyrrhus, king of Epirus, was asked to send aid. Hit responded, bringing his well-trained soldiers and a score of terrOr-inspiring war ele- plants to win those costly successes which were to become proverbial as 'Pyrrhic victories.' Tarentum's fate was not deferred as long as her allys for Milo, one of the Greek generals, betrayed the city into the hands of the enemy.
 Tn the Second Punic War Taren- tum again made the mistake of op- posing Rome. AS punishment for her espousal of Hannibals cause, Fabrius sacked the city and 3O,O00 of i the inhabitants were sentenced to | slavery.
 During the Golden Age of Rome Tarentum was a favorite resort, a
 Roman colony (Colonia Neptunia) ! having been established here pre- l Viously. From the days of Justinian i it belonged to the Byzantine empire.
 It was almost completely destroy ed i by the Saracens in the tenth century, | and 100 years later was seized by that | picturesque Norman adventurer Rob-
 ert Guiscard.
 The relics of the ancient city are i few. The most important are the
 ruins of a Doric Temple, possibly
 dating back to the sixth century B. C., ! and a Roman Viaduct about nine
 miles long, known at II Triglio.
 The chief source of wealth of the
 modern city is the oyster industry ! the crustaceans being cultivated in ] great numbers in the oyster beds of
 the Mare Piccolo. These waters also 1 teem with fish, more than ninety varieties being found here. They en- ter with the tide and are caught in nets as the waters recede.
 Tt is from Taranto that we derive , the name of a large family of poison ous spiders of great size. The genu- inc tarantula, found in the Taranto l district, is not nearly so venemous as the insect to which the name is ap- piled in the western hemisphere. The natives of Southern Italy once held to the belief that the best cure for the bite of a tarantula was the per- spiration induced by violent dance which received the name of the tar artella. A tarantella dancing mania swept over this part of the peninsula during the 18th, 18th and 17th cen turies.''
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
A New Ray of Hone
(New Haven Journal-CO11rier

(NeW Haven JOurnal-COurier)
 Inst at the moment when a. great many people had become convinced mad, and that this country would soon be drawn into one of the empty luna tic wards, along comes distinguished theosophist with the pleasing informa- ton that there are days ahead full of happiness and contentment for this country of ours. Admirers of Colonel Roosevelt will take the more kindly to the views of this prophet because he says he is rather inclined to think that the Colonel Is none other than the Julius Caesar of old. Tt is highly possible,' he says. The enemies of President Wilson will back away be- cause the prophet says that he Is an excellent example of the new race which is even now being born in the United States
 Of course this new race from which is today spring1ng from the American melting pot, thus justifying the con- fidence of the continental congress in inviting here the oppressed of all nations and putting to flight those who would include a literaCy test in immi grafton legislation. But let the prophet do his own talking. It is the business of common folk to sit quiet and listen. This Is what he says, in part: "A race of supermen Is com- 1n9. They will be the product of the
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
As the World Moves.
(Waterbury Republican. )

John Lund, sixty-four years old, made his first telephone call at San Diego, Calif., the other day. MT. Lund had sailed the seas for fifty years, but had never before had occasion to talk over wires. He wanted information on a business matter, so he went into a business place and asked to use the telephone. He surprized the clerk in charge by not knowing how to make the first move to get his connection. But after he had been shown how to manipulate the instrument, he exprest himself as we'll satisfied "It's pretty good, he said, "quite clear"
 How short a time it is since the first telephones were put into com- mission. And now all our surprize is directed toward the man who is un accustomed to their daily use. The luxury of today indeed becomes the necessity of tomorrow. In twenty years shall we turn with amazement to look upon the man who has never ridden in an aeroplane?
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
Huge Words.

Philadelphia Public Ledger).
 The section of the general revenue bill concerning dutiable dyestuffs must have given great joy to Senator Sim- mons in the recital, when he reported it from the finance committee, of which he is chairman. It is a pro- cessional of chemical compounds. which took some time to pass a given point but any cheimcal Zeitschrift of the sort that came from Germany be- fore the war could elbow most of these big words quite out of the marching column.
 Mark Twain describes a successful German hospital operation for the re- moval of a word of seventeen sylla- bles which had stuck in the patients throat. One Is reminded of the ne- gro preacher of Florida who said that on the rare occasions when he was able to pronounce "ratiocination" 1t had a sensational effect In bringing converts to the mourners' bench. It would be too bad if all the long words should be driven from the lan- guage by any of these modern pro- posals for saving ink and paper by chopping the language to mincemeat and abolishing spelling and punctua- ton.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
BOTH SIDES WRONG.

&rhts much may be set down as true:
 Ae, railroad brotherhoods and the
 z1road presidents involved in the Ratest railroad controversy of all
 She do not care what happens to R American public so long as their
 En selfish ends are satisfied. And the
 snertcan public, aware of this, Is
 Sndtng today aghast at the terrible
 Eastrophe about to be staged, a na-
 kn-wide strike that may be the
 Bans of starving 8 vast number of sopae. The railroad brotherhoods are
 Nrt of the scheme. The American
 sbple are pathetic in their helpless
 SSss. And yet, in the final showdown,
 , s great group may awaken from lethargy and show the railroad sbtherho ods and the railroad presi-
 *nEs they are not the only inhabitants this portion of the globe. It can done, and it may be done. Just
 sw, no one knows. It may be a
 } m of war. There may be blood
 sed, and probably killing; but, In the
 sd, two arrogant forces would be
 lt in their proper places and justice
 1Ftored.
 sWhen this trouble started the Amer
 Sn public paid little attention to it,
 Alieving the contemplated strike a
 Bre threat on the part of the
 Sptherhoods. As time wore on, how sRr, and the board of mediation 8led in it's work, light was shed on proceedings. Then when the
 zesident of the United States saw fit
 call the two contending forces to
 ze White House, the real import of 8e situation dawned on the public.
 ere became a manifest interest in
 the proceedings. Every move was
 Itehed. Public opinion was then be- E formed, and at the beginning the had the benefit of the
 Pubt It was thought by the vast hiority that the men were asking more than their rights. Now,
 neither they were right in their first intention is not the question. The Inerican public has decided the
 were wrong when they
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31

great American melting pot and the plains of the western United States and of Australia. Their religion will be the brotherhood of man. They will play lunches on all great decisions and will use their wonderful brains for following their lunches to the limit They will have the transmigrat- ed souls of the soldiers killed in the European war, the purest of all souls because they are those of men who unselfishly have given their lives for an idea. The new race will express spiritual attainments just as the Mediterranean races expressed beauty in all it's forms and the Teutonic races expressed scientific attainment"
 We are untutored in the new science of theosophy, but this is a much more agreeable line of talk than that of men who forbid us to contemplate world of peace and plenty. It is bit fantastic and ethereal, but it is all fired satisfactory, and much better to fight for, or rather strive for, if such things can be striven for, than the ac ceptance of the philosophy of the world today which can only express itself in terms of hate and destruction. The present world would not be worth clinging to if a better world was not on it's way. Beyond that we do not care to commit ourselves.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
GOOD ARRAY OF NEW BOOKS NAMED
 IN INSTITUTES LIST THIS WEEK

Awake U. s. A. Are we prepared? by
 William Freeman pseud.
 file is given to exaggerated state ment. It is well to be enthusiastic, but it is better to be right" Army & Navy Journal.
 Among the idlest of the horde of screaming documents that have fed the hysterical agitation for prepared ness" Springfield Republican. The beautiful Lady Craven.
 ''She was one of the most beautiful. as well as the cleverest, wittiest and most versatile women of the age in which she f1ourished. One of the most life-like and absorbingly interesting records of high life in England and Europe between 177O and 1920. Which has appeared during the present cen- tury.'
 Founding of Spanish California by c.
 D. Chapman.
 The great push, an episode of the
 great war, by Patrick MacGill.
 
 The Greek tradition; essays in the re-
 construction of ancient thought
 by J. A. K. Thomson.
 "It is put in such perfect form that it is hard to lay it down. Athenaeu1n "It is a brilliant book, so clear and vivid in it's thought and expression that it will delight any reader of ste."-Springfel Republican.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31

and means committee of the House by James w. Fordney whose record as a protectionist of the deepest dye IS his only distinction. His brand of protection is a joy never to be for gotten by those who seek protection for prOtection's sake. The chief dis penser of pork" under older Repub- lican administrations is still lingering around in the person of Senator War ren of Wyoming who knows more about this special brand of political meat than any other statesman, or near statesman. The work of the con- rected by Henry A. Dupont who prob ably would be the best choice of all
 If one were to judge from his earlier career as set forth in the Congress stonal Record, Senator Dupont should know something about planning coast defenses; that is, if service in the Civil War counts for anything in this day of advanced military tactics. How he would spend the nations money is the other side of the question Then, as a grand climax, there is George E. Sutherland of Utah, who voted for Lorimer. He would be placed at the head of the committee on privileges and elections. The names contained in the foregoing list represent all that Is reactionary in the Republican par old Uncle Joe Cannon held the whip hand in the House and instituted his we'll known and never to be forgotten "czar rule" These men are truly rep resentative of the Old Guard. They would have the main part in shaping and enacting legislation for the Re- publican administra ton which Charles Evans Hughes might try to rule from the White House. It is one thing for a presidential candidate to tell how he would run the government and an- dential chair to overcome the great in f1uence of the House and the Senate. Charles Evans Hughes would have a wonderful time trying to make Boise Penrose and Murray Crane and Joe Cannon and all that old gang take back water. MT. Hughes would have his hands full indeed carrying out a new plan of government, reorganiza- tion of the nations business. America First and America Efficient" sounds great when the mind fails to recall the figures of Penrose and company.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
CHARGING UPON WTNDMILI1S.
Republican Newspaper Roundly Scure
 Hughes for His Gush

From the St. Louis Times, repub- l1can newspaper, the following is taken:
 Nominee Hughes having momen- tarlly made some specific charges of democratic inefticiency, again has mounted the Pegasus of glittering gen. eralities and flies away into the em- pyrean at a dazzling speed which soon carries him almost out of sight.
 This kind of junk, delivered by him to the Advertising Club of Portland, Ore, may be widely applauded by i'm petuous auditors who are caught by sounding phrases, but what does it mean?
 The man who tries to get the bet ter of the public for his private purse' the nominee said "is a traitor to the government. We will go ahead and put these traitors out of busi- ness, while we build up the business of the United States"
 Who is going to brand these trait ors''? Will they stay branded? Who will pick them out? Who are they, anyway? If Mr. Hughes means a particular traitor, or any class of traitors in particular, he oughtn't to balk at giving names
 Experience has taught most of us that there are something like 2O,OO0,- 900 adult male persons of sound and competent mind in this country who are willing to get the better of the public for their private purses.
 Laws which bestOw opportunities to get the better of the public, these should be annulled, assuredly, but q general assault on an undesignated ar ray of traitors is a charge upon wind mills and chimeraS.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31
FOR THE GOOD OF ALL.

M New Britain should have a munici- a natatorium. All up-to date cities 8e making preparations along these
 hes if. they have not already provid- # public bathing places for their in- n bitants. The need for this thing < growing greater here every day. Mlring the Summer months the peo- #e of this city are deprived of the &oling waters of a clear sparkling g
 eam. Therefore, they should be #ovided with an artificial swimming @ol, one large enough to meet the \ 8mands of a city of almost 6o,0oo #pulation. Expert engineers could Id some method Of installing the | ceasary sanitary arrangements.
 Wattan the past week a visitor to Iagw Britain set out vainIy in search N the municipal swimming pool. He Hne. here from a city of not more In. twice the size of this, a city that #S placed in operation one of the 8ndsomest natatoriurns in the nation. B was surprised at the lack of energy T our public officials who have never
 discussed the question. With lit I effort, facts and figures can be ob- #nGd from one of those places that &s already come in possession of this #aea$ 1c5f$ TYr1<y S,f@ kn 1t will be seen bhat the swimming 8ols operated by cities are great ben- #s to the health of communities. Also, 8ey can be operated at very little ex- Hnse, considering the amount of good
 ne. If needs be a nominal charge 70 be made for all bathers using the NpI. In Washington, D. C., the ex- #1se of operating the pool, used by
 Ere than 80,000 people so far this
 son, has been less than one cent # capita.
 zFhis Summer Is nearly over. But 8iIe it remains with us it is time think about setting to work on this E Mestion that must eventually occupy
 attention of our people. We are ng inland, away from ocean, A river, lake, or stream of any M q, The nearest outdoor bathing
 ilities are offered at Lake Com
 lnce or the Pennington River, both
 ces are too far away to be conven- t. A modern natatorium could be 8 cted in one of the numerous parks
 pund New Britain and would prove
 ttlity and an ornament. It is sug-
 Eted that some enthusiastic member # the Common Council take hold of
 1 foster this idea, the construction 8 municipal natatorium.
New Britain herald., 1916-08-31

sent out the strike order before the negotiations with the President were completed. The railroad brotherhoods have suffered. The railroad presi- methods. Both sides resorted to double-dealings The truth of the whole thing is that they have been dishonest. They have not been on the level either with themselves, with each other, or with the President of the United States. And as they have not been honest in these three instances they cannot be honest with the final court, the American people. Therefore, no matter what happens the American people will not sanc- dents placed an embargo on all food stuffs two days ago and in a short time the process of starvation may set in. The brotherhoods had issued the sweeping order to strike, even before all the points in the con- troversy were thrashed out. This augmented the possibilities of starva- t1on. When food Is denied the peo- pie of the nation those who are party to the outrage must expect to be con- demned.
 If the railroad brotherhoods were fighting for their very bread the peo-
 
 pie would be with them to the last ditch just as the people will be against them if they aid in the starva- hoods, as the average man is begin ming to learn, are not so sorely in need of higher wages or shorter hours that they must starve the American people to get a decent living. As a class, the railroad men are the high est paid laborers in the country. The railroad presidents, if they could see no way in which to meet the demands of the men, and if they could show where their properties would be wrecked if they yielded, would have had the public with them. But they refused to put the eight hour day in practice as trial measure; even when the assurances were given that the government of the United States would help in case it did not prove a success. And thus they lost the sup port of the American public As it stands now, the 10O,0O0,00O in this country not connected with the rail- road brotherhoods, or the railroad are against both sides. If a great crisis is produced the two contending forces in the railroad sit uation may have to join forces to fight against a far superior power, a united nation threatened with starva- ton at the hands of a paltry few arrogant and disgruntled men, repre- senting organizations in quest of more power. When organizations become too powerful, whether they represent labor or capital they lose sight of true values.