The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-10-12
But Many Believe, Colonel.
That War Is at Least As
Far Away as Next March I


The German U-boat raid OF the New
England coast is vigorously resented boy
Theodore Roosevelt principally We feel
because 'resenting it is considered by the
Colonel the political thing 70 do.
Somehow or other, the Colonel has il
figured out that these U-boat raids reflect
on the Wilson administration and show
up the policy that has been pursued in
Washington since the opening Of host.A-
ties in Europe-the policy, by the way,
that HAS KEPT Us OUT OF THE WAR.
The Colonel sees a menace 70 the Unit
ed States in the presence of our shores
Of German submarines, but submarines
aren't found hanging around anywhere
unless there are ships Of belhgerentS 10
attack, so we presume we are justified in
our own belief that the real menace lies
In the presence Of trading ships that are
subject to attack.
Maybe we could have these trading
ships agree to have themselves attacked
at some other point in the ocean-say on
the other side Of the ocean, instead Of on
this side-and save the Colonel all this
annoyance.
We don't know when we have seen the
Colonel so "all het up" about anything,
unless it was in 1912 when the Old Guard
was kicking his delegates out of the Re-
publican National convention, and il
seems that little matter like the presi-
dency of the United States was at stake
ut that time, also
The Colonel saw the presidency going
to a Democrat unless he was nominated
then, and he had it figured out correctly.
too.
We begin to feel that the Colonel fears
It is going a second time to that same
Democrat, hence this pitch he has per
mitted himself 10 be worked up 70.
It's a "two-gun" pitch that has hold
of the Colonel right now.
The war "stares at US he declares.
very solemnly.
1t has been staring at US for some
time.
No longer, Of course, than we have
been staring at it, but what the Colonel
wants us to take notice Of, is the fact
that war is doing its staring at the pres
ent moment from the three-mila zone"
What do we mean by the three-mile
zone, do We hear you ask?
Well it's like this:
As long as these German submarine
that have the Colonel so terribly excited
keep three miles out in the ocean. wan
can stare at US as much as it likes and
the stare isn't any more ominous. desg t.
the Colonies excitement, than as If tine
war were staring at US from the Mort.
sea or off the dock in London.
And what a German submarine doc
outside of this three-mile zone isn't any
Of our business and nothing for MS 10 get
excited over, so long as the submarine
confne themselves to intenational Hoyle.
which they would have to do, also. If the.
were operating in the North sea-
Of course 1t is too bad that they should
have come close enough 10 give the
Colonel a Whit of their powder. because
Whit Of powder in the Colonels case
works not unlike a Whit Of blood doc in
the case Of wild beast.
That's why a lot Of people are glad the
Colonel didn't happen to be president
when the European war broke out.
We fee II our duty to call YOU atten-
ton once again 10 the fact that aae.i-
Dental election approaches. and that one
of the candidates is man whom the
Colonel doesn't like--a man. really. whom
the Colonel bitterly detests.
The Colonel is campaigning for Hughes,