davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1916-05-03
liar os< Chance

Mrs. B.-I wonder why Miss Single ton refused the curate when he pro. posed to her? Mrs. D.-All mistake my dear, sad mistake. You know. she has grown little deaf, and she did not suspect he was at all "gone" on her. She actually thought he was asking her to subscribe to the new or gan fund, so she told him she was sor ry, but she had promised all her money in another direction. Mrs. B.-Then what happened? Mrs. D.-The cufate felt himself insulted and departed ii dudgeon, and she's lost the only chance she ever had.-LOndon Telegraph.
The Press., 1916-05-03
Sandy Was Willino.

An old farmer and his wife were paying visit to an exhibition in Glas- gow and were deeply interested in the wonders which they saw. Overcome at the sights, the old woman dropped into chair and exclaimed:
 "Oh, Sandy, this is just splendid! l could sit here a me days"
 "Aweel," said the farmer, '.jist sit still, Jeanie, wumman. I'll no grudge the shilling"
The Press., 1916-05-03
Something to Step On.

We don't get very high in this world unless we have something to step on. That is why we put risers in stairs and rounds in ladders.
 When we were boys if we could stick o,lr toenails into a crevice in the bark cf tree. be it ever so shallow, we could shin up to the top all right. When we got to the lowest branch we were all right. After that we could pull ourselves up easier. But it did seem a long ways to the lower limbs sometimes.
 That is the story of all life-getting the feet on something and then spring ing up.
 Life is fine, or it is a tragedy. just according to whether we see the mean ing of the experiences which come to us and use them to climb up by Farm Life.
The Press., 1916-05-03
Deafness Cannot be l,ured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the diseased portion Of the ei :. There is only one way td cure deafness, and that is by constitu- tional remedies Deafnessts caused by an in- named condition Of the mucous lining Of the Rustachian Tube. When this tube ia unnamed you have Q rumbling sound or imperfect hear the result, and unless the Inflammation can bo taken ont and this tube restored to its normal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever 1: nine cases out or ten are caused by CatarTh, which fs nothing but an inilamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
 We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of Deafness (caused by catarrhl that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for C1rcl1. lars fre6. F.J. CHENEY CO., Toledo. O
 sold by Druggists, 75c. ss
 Tahe Han's Family Plus for constipation.
The Press., 1916-05-03

weakly.
 "Any old thing. You should have tested the sweetbread ramekins she fixed today love, they were some classv'
 | The room swirled chaotically. For one hour by the clock had she sweated over those ramekins. | He smiled in cheerful anticipation
 Shell be along in a few minutes with a ginger punch she promised me She's great on ginger punches"
 s"I thought the diet nurse was sup posed to make those things Miss Car ney ventured.
 He leaned forward with sudden in. tensity.
 s"Do you believe in thought trans mission?'
 e"To some extent-yes.' "I don't know if I do or not l used to swear by it. but it's gone back on me this time sure. It's funny thing | it sounds fdiOtic to tell it-but ever | since first saw little dish of wine jelly that the diet nurse made me I've had the most peculiar feeling for that
 
 like that. I-,I never felt that way to ward any other woman. It's strange that I'm telling you about it.'' He broke off and looked at her oddly
 Anyway, I thought was going batty. couldn't do a thing for days but think and dream of girl had never seen. He laughed shortly. "There was only one difficulty. The telepathy didn't work at the other end of tho line"
 Didn't she-reciprocate your inter est?"
 ''She did not. I sent her note in :, flower one day. and from that time to this have not even had a culinary token. Miss Dunott says she must have got tired of bothering. imagine this Is Miss Dunott coming now."' It was. She entered blithely. carry ing 8 tiny tray. on which tinkled and sparkled a ginger punch. Hello, deariew she coOed, not seeing the other nurse. Here's nice drink I just mixed up
 Tt tastes as good as 1t looks" Miss Carney observed "I ought to know you know" Miss Dunott turned abruptly, and the liquid spilled down over her apron And then the incredible happened. for Marian Dunott. the blase. diplomatic, self composed Marion Dunott. got fussed
 "I didn't see you" she stammered.
 "I didn't imagine that you did" Miss Carney laughed genially Your pa tient has just been praising the concoc. tions of his diet nurse. He didn't seem to know that they were the concoc- tions of the diet nurse. but in his acute illness it is natural that he should get confused"
 Marian DunOtt sat down the tray with a thump. Her face famed. her lips quivered. and her eyes glared.
 Perhaps" she jelly suggested. you can clear up the confusion"
 She swept-yes. swept-Ont of. the room
 Before his intent gaze the other girl felt all sorts of things but she tried to grin socially. 's
 How do you know what the diet nurse makes?" he demanded.
 She got up. but she didn't sweep: she did modified swagger to the door. When she reached it she smiled back mockingly.
 Perhaps" she laughed softly. "l'lI explain that some time.''
 She tried to slip out the doorway. and just then he grabbed her-but that has nothing to do with the story.
The Press., 1916-05-03
Boots In Rusai..

All Russians have a weakness for handsome footwear, and the result Is that there are more pairs of showy boots worn in the czar's empire than anywhere else on earth. This pref ereDce extends to the women as well as to the men.
The Press., 1916-05-03
Pleased.

"You may say what you like about that new play of mine. but you've got to admit that 1t sends the audience away in good humOr."
 That's very true. Most of them seemed to be glad 1t was 0ver."-Pitts- burgh PreN. a
The Press., 1916-05-03
Freshly pafinad.

What's the honeymoon, pap
 '"rhe honeymoon, my son. is the only period in mans life during which he considers it funny to come home and find that his dear little wife hasn't din ner ready on time. Boston Tran. scriut a f .s seF
The Press., 1916-05-03
Deaa's Rhesnatie Pills fol Rheumatism ant Neuralgia. Entirely vegetable. Safe.
Nearly Empty.

Theodosia-What do you think of my friend? Theodore-The only thing he had in his head was cigarette. and that was going Out.-Princeton ri ger
The Press., 1916-05-03

Hives, eczema, itch or salt rheum sets you crazy. Can't bear the touch of your clothing. DoAn's Ointment Is fine for skin itching. All drugglsts sell 1t 50c 6 box.
The Press., 1916-05-03

He is no wise man that will quit g certainty 'nr an uncertainty.-Samlie Irh,lsOu.
The Press., 1916-05-03
Some Exercise,

Walking is the Dest exercise Do some of 1t every day. Next to walk ing comes bowling. You can't throw a bowling ball without stepping clear to the floor, and every stoop stimulates the liver and exercises the intestines. Fifty per cent of the sickness in the world would be eliminated if every body bOwled. Walk or bowl every day. And at night lie fiat on your back and raise your legs above your head slowly as many times as you can without fatigue. Then. anchor'ng your toes under a weight of some sort raise and lower the body. These two eyer- cises repeated fifteen or twenty times night and morning will do a lot for you. And you'll he surprised to find how quickly you develop endurance. Start with i:e times and increase each day or two until you reach twen- ty.--Woman's Home Companion.
The Press., 1916-05-03

Hope often digs its own grave with the spade of lndiscretion.
The Press., 1916-05-03

That your contract for Electric Install lation Work, Eltctrie Fixtures, etc !, should be placed with US for the reasons {: That we do the work honestly; that the best materials will be used that the low est figures for such character work will be charged, and because you can depend up- on us for the foregoing without any mis- givings. Ask anyone who has had us work for them. ID. J. STEPHENS & SON.
The Press., 1916-05-03

Mirlh. joy and happiness are great mental physicians
The Press., 1916-05-03
C. B. GARY & SON.

~HAIR-HOPE" ends GRAY HAIR
 Restores Natural Color in few applications Not quick dye which gives a weird, streAked, stained. unnatural look, but naturally, gradually, no one snspectsL No oil or grease Does not Stain Scalp. Stops Dandruf Itching Scalp, Falling Hair. Leaves Hair nice, soft, fluffy. No eomplans-&sy years sale.
 wtli please yon- Does the work right No samples. Sent prepaid forsi.oo E.s.wes, Jersey City, x. '. TROUGH ON RATs' ends RAts, Nice, ,Bugs. S5c.
The Press., 1916-05-03
Aia Pro{easion.

She tI,ointfng tu a noted blood sln. rialist, Who is that distinguished look Ing man: He Oh. that's only:a circu iation manager.-Cornell Widow
The Press., 1916-05-03

ENGRAVED CARDS furnished at The
 IPress oniee-S0 cards and script plate So cents ;so cards and Old Engiizh plate from .25 O n. So.
The Press., 1916-05-03
FOR SALE AT CRYSTAL LAKE

Four Cottages and Fifty Desir-
 able Building Lots on shore of
 Crystal Lake; also Two Good
 Farms. Cottages to rent for
 season also Land to camp on. Plans of Cottages and Building Lots on display at the following places T. F. Garvan, Real Els tate, Room !, Prescott Block, Rockville Conn. Louis koesch, at Hotel, Crystal Lake, Conn. Hanley's Shoe Store, stafford Springs, Conn.
The Press., 1916-05-03

items of local interest taken from the columns
 |: Of The Press, thirty-one years ago. ssss
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21
n the beauty and completeness of It's

in the beauty and completeness of its
scenic aecessoriaa 1t has the pro-
nounced individuality OF twosdollar
show. Aside from the superb eA-
i~cellence of the principals n their re
spectiye parts, very much the best
part nf the shows the rausscalSsnu,n
beers. These are handsomely cos
tuned and they reveal refreshingly'
new novelties, all delightfully."- me-
lodious and of the snappy kind sof
composition that keeps the feet NOV
ing to It's rhythm.
The cast includes such we'll known
faces as Marigold Gano. Caroline
White. William Woodsides Geo. Busby
The Million Dollar Dolr numbers
thirty people, carrying their own
of special scenery and electrical Ell
fects, and IS enc big musical treat of
the season. Seats so on sale Monday
at Kreiser's drug store.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21
are visiting her aunt, who expects to
leave soon for California to spend the

are visiting her aunt, who expects to
leave o 0 for California to spend the
winter months. Chas. Hersom;S the
butcher at Raymond, dropped In upon
us last week while on his way home
from Watertown. We used to cuss
Charley for selling us tough meat but
for all that 1t seemed mighty good TO
shake his old paw again. Mrs. Will
Turnbum and three children, who have
been visiting the past three weeks
with her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Geo.
Yandelinder, left Watertown last Sat.
nrday morning for her home near De
troit, MINI. Her sister, Ella, returned
with her and from there she intends
going with her sister, Ida, to visit
their brother, Oren. at Winnipeg,
Canada. . !. Nicholas Writ, Of Water
town, who travels for d grain conl
pany, settled In s.. e. Elrod for one
night last week while driving his car
from Naples to Henry. While making
the curve around the Crowley slough
his car went IN a strike and refused
to bulge, Nick thought he was alone
but soon about a million mosquitoes
found him. They came in mass for.
nation shouting, here's the kaiser.
The next morning Mr. Writ made his
way TO the nearest telephone and had
III. IA. billiard come out and fix his
car when he again took up his jour
ney. The mosquitoes were singing,
Farewell, Nick, come again.-Henrs
Independent.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21
THE FUTURE ARMY.
What Congress Is Expected L PRO.
Vide III the WAY cf All Army.

vtoe N inc way or an Army.
Within & year or two. says the
Webster World. congress will provide
by law for military training Of all
boys in the United States, following
the plans of Australia and sss~itzer-
land.
All boys, who are physically iii, be-
tween the ages of 12 and 18 In the
public schools Of the United States,
will be required To devote twenty min
utes Il day to- drill.
AT IS years of age the boys will
pass III the citizen army and will be
obliged to give 20 days q year for six
years to military training.
Service Is to be based on the sound
principle Of duty and honor, and With
out financial compensation. Persons
undergoing training as members OF
the citizen cadet corps OF the citizen
army and navy shall not be entitled
to pay. While undergoing training iii
camps Of instruction and on board of
training ships they shall be entitled
to the actual cost OF transportation
gsoing to or returning from said
camps Or ships, and to their snbsist-
ence and necessary medical attendance
while actually serving therein.
II other words. the government
would provide the uniforms. arms ana
all necessary equipment and bear al
costs of imparting the training; and
the individual would give his time
and service as a patriotic obligation.
receiving therefor such benefits as
r1eAfram drill aiisetipp iii,la and III
struction.
To serve In this service would BE-!
an honor not to serve d derogation.
No person shall be permitted 10
serve In the citizen cadet corps Or til
the citizen army OF navy who Is found
by any court duly appointed for that
Iirrese to have been convicted De
any d~isgTacefui d infamous crime. 81.
10 be Of notorioMsiy bad character.
Any member Of the citizen ada corps
81 d the citizen army of who
shall have been convicted of any dis
graceful or infamous criuae Hall s
dfsholorab diceharged on dis
service therein shall no be enE
bI Hereafter "a hcid any position
Of trust rtodx created 81 author
lied Nv the congress- b he United|
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21
Million Dollar Doll at
Met. Tuesday Night

The Million Dollar Doll, the lat
est musical comedy success, will be
given at the Metropolitan treatre on
Tuesday evening September 26,
The first object that gives distinc-
ton to this show is the perfection Of
its production. In every detail Of the
stage arrangements, In the direction
that has been given to the principals
and the chorus, In the character and
the prodigality of the costumes and
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21

Local appenings
F. w. Hart made a business tril
TO Milbank this week.
Typewriter paper at Office of Water
town Printing and Binding Co.
DR.. E. o. Giere has returned from a
professional visit to the twin cities
Bookcases for offices supplied b,
the Watertown Printing >and Binding
Co.
The weather man says we may look
for a slightly cooler snap for a few
days.
Geo. w. Case went to Harris, Ia,
this week, to attend to professional
business.
Mrs. G. r. Culver, of Sioux Falls,
is a guest at the home Of Mr.. and
Mrs. a. j. Albrook.
Henry Baskerville left this week
for Madison, Wis, where he enters
the state university.
Mrs. Joseph LaDou of Lester, Ia,
is in the city, a guest at the home of
MIR. and Mrs. J. d. Garlic.
Irving NJ, Williamson left the fore
part OF the week for Brookings where
he enters the State College.
Miss Gertrude Englesby. left last
Saturday for VALPARAISO, Ind, to en-
ter college for the ensuing year.
No better typewriter on the market
than the Royal. Fol sale by the Wa
fertown Printing and Binding Co.
Coles Hot Blast Heaters make a
big reduction in your coal bill-see
their advertisement and guarantee.
Loose leaf covers and filters for
school students at the office of the
Watertown Printing and Binding Co.
Mr., and Mrs. w. d. Morris returned
last week from New York state where
they visited friends for a few weeks.
Drawing pencils and drawing pa
pei for loose leaf covers at the Wa
tertown Printing and Binding com.
pany's Office.
DR.. and Mrs. R. M. Burlingame de,
parted Monday evening for Great
Falls, Mont, or a sightseeing trip
and a visit to friends.
Judge G. G. Sherwood and Court
Reporter A. T. Hopkins went to Clear
Lake the first Of the week to hold
chambers for a few days.
Mrs. r. "A. Miller came up from
Mankato to attend the dedication of
the Presbyterian church. Mrs. Miller
was formerly a resident of this city.
John Dunn, of Ann Arbor, Mich,
who was a guest of George Lee last
week, went to Bookings with his host
this week, where both enter the State
College.
Mr.. and Mrs. F. D. Minium returned
to New Ulm, MINI, this week, after
a brief visit at the home of Mrs. Min
ium's parents, Mr.. and Mrs. II. S.
Fletcher.
The Paulis Dry Goods company is
offering special bargains these days,
as will be evidenced by a perusal Of
the advertising columns of The Sat
nrday News,
Mrs. S. P. Heilman, formerly Of this
city, now OF San Diego, Calf, is In
the city. a guest at the homes Of
Alderman and Mrs. A. n. Cornwall
and Mr.. and Mrs Geo. Petit.
p. w. Sykes departed Monday morn
ing for Florence, s. ID, where he will
assist in the construction Of the new
building for the Guaranty State bank,
the contract for which was awarded
to ". 2. Bratt Of this city.
Salesman-Capable speciality man
for SD. Staple line on new and ex-
ceptionaI terms; vacancy Oct. /. At
tractive commission contract. $$35
weekly for expenses. Miles F. Blk
Ter Co. 254-S9 Garlin Bldg, Cleveland,
Ohio. 15*
Geo. II. MARQUIS, Lawyer. (Ex-Judge
circuit court Heegaard Block. 26tf
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21
Chas. f. Halbkat

A little breezy yesterday-wind go
ing only forty odd miles an hour!
John Hentges and II. +. w. schaller
are away for a few days hunting trip.
William Current was over from
South Shore yesterday, ~transacting
business matters.
DR.. and Mrs. 3. D. Putnam, of Sioux
Fails, are in the city. guests at the
home Of DR.. and Mrs. Il. &. Fill.
Miss Grace siegel, who has been a
guest at the home of her sister. Mrs.
Ginsbach, in this city. leaves today
for her home at Ottumwa, la,
F. St. Claire Snyder spent a ON
siderable portion Of Yesterday on the
spoonbiil Pass, northwest of the city,
where he bagged a LOT Of spoonbi1ls
and teal.
Robert and Gerald Grant are:n the
city. guests Of Clark Finnerud. and
will spend some time afield in pursuit
of game birds. The young men were
classmates at the Wisconsin univer-
sity.
p. r. Fessenden has opened a Nit
chell automobile agency in this city.
Mr. Fessenden formerly resided at
Columbia, S. D., where he@was en-
gagged in the general hardware bust
ness.
Miss Ruth Case, after accompany
ing her sister, Miss Lillian, to the
twin cities, where she enters Stanley
Hall, returned home. It is stated
elsewhere that both young ladies are
attending Stanley Hall, but this was
an error.
Mr.. Rodney Hill and wife, of Park
er, We're in the city the fore part OF
the week, stopping ove a portion of
the day. They had been touring North
Dakota in their automobile and were
returning home, intending to 60 by
way Of Sioux Falls.
For SaIe-Good secondhand touring
car, in first-class condition, or will
trade for a good Ford. Inquire at
this Office. 13tf
George Schlosser, secretary Of the
Chamber of Commerce, has leased a
house in the southwestern part Of the
city and expects Mrs. Schlosser to
join him here within the near future.
The house is now undergoing repairs
pending the arrival Of Mrs. SchIosser.
MI. F. NJ. Cunningham, who was
brought to this city from Milbank last
week for hospital treatment in the
hope that his life could be saved, died
Tuesday evening. The remains were
taken back to Milbank for interment.
The deceased was about sixty-four
years of age.
The following Rock Island officials
were in the city the fore part of the
week, looking over the company's
property interests here and inspecting
the lines Id general: "A. G. Ridgway,
vice president; C. w. Jones, general
manager, and "a. &. Hartman, super.
intendent Of this division.
Mr.. and Mrs. s. a. shupe and baby
Kathryn returned this week from Iowa
and Minnesota, where they visited
friends for two or three weeks. They
made the trip by automobile. without
mishap Of any sort, having experience
Ted no car trouble. They had a most
ENJOYABLE time throughout.
The many friends Of the gracious
woman will be glad to learn that Mrs.
HIS. Fletcher is nicely recovering
from the effects of IN operation which
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-09-21

Miss Grace siegel, who has been a
guest at the home of her sister, Mrs.
sGinsbach, in this city. leaves today
for her home at Ottumwa,. la.
Evening journal., 1916-05-04
kIRKWOOD SOCIAL.

The klrawood Social was enter
aimed at the home Of Mr. and Hrs
lohn Luriz, near Kirkwood. on salur-
lay evening. Recltations were given
by Clayton Sterling. Mrs. Daniel
Thornton. Mrs. Susie Roberts. Miss
@uin Miss Sterling. Roland McMullin
and Harry Sterling A solo was given
by Miss Ann Shockley. Of Whining
ton Those present were: Mr. and
Mrs. John Lurtz. Mr. and Mrs. Harry
burtz. Mrs. Devallinger Mr. and Mrs.
Davis, Mrs. DanieEPowell. MIR. and
Mrs. Eugene Short Mr. and Mrs. Isaac
Roberts, Mr.. and Mrs. Clayton Sterl-
ing. Mr. and Mrs Daniel Thornton, Mr..
and Mrs Herbert Ward. John Green.
Mrs. fit1gibbons. Mr.. Blackburn. the
Misses Lillian Pratt. Sara Shearer,
Margaret Fitzgibbons. Anna Johnson.
Mary Sterling. 1lma Lurtz. Miriam
Ward. Helen Ward. Ethel Dovallanger.
Ann Shockley, Margaret Rambo. Em-
ly Hicks. Mary Jewell, Helen Town
send lsadora Bradley, Hanna Quinn,
Jennie Turner. Evelyn Sterling. Har-
ry Lurtz. Lloyd Travers, Leslie Con-
away. William Wilson. Harry Serling.
William Wheatloy, Harold Wink.
'harfeSA Richards Colon Richards,
7rank Crompton. Gilbert Boys. Ciar-
Evening journal., 1916-05-04
E.P. PRESTON
Chosen Building Inspector by City
Council

Ellis p Preston OF No. 4O3 West
Thirtieth street, who has been assist
ant building. inspector for several
months, was the choice of the Repub-
lican members Of City Council last
night as building inspector to succeed
Charles e. Anderson OF the Sixth
ward. whose term expires the last day
Of this month. Mr.. Preston. who was
the nominee Of City Councilman
George II. Grantland. received eight Of
the nine Republican votes. Councilman
Hopkins of the Sixth ward voted for
Mr. Anderson.
Mr.. Preston is a native of Union
Vile. Pa. but has lived here for the
past sixteen years. For the past nine
years. prior to his appointment as as
sistant building inspector, he was a
foreman for W. d. Haddock and Com
pany. local contractors.
Harold S. Creamer, a bricklayer. was
the caucus nominee for assistant in
spector Mr. Creamer was a candidate
for the position of inspector when Mr.
Anderson was elected
Mr.. Anderson was a candidate for
, reelection. Mr.. Anderson has just
completed drawing a new building code
which Council has not yet acted upon