davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
Stories of the War
A Practical Joke.

Extracts from the letters of Prof. Louis Cons for three years previous to the great war professor of French at Bryn Mawr college, show the hCr- TOT and the grim humOr of the hattle- heId. He lectured for some time be- fore the Alliance Francaise of Boston. He was giving a course in the Summer school of Columbia university when the struggle began. He responded to the call on August IS, 1914, and has been at the front ever since. Writing to w. $. Booth, 20 Fremont street, Boston, recently, he said in part:
 I must tell you of a practical joke which has become classic now in our trenches, and which made me writhe with laughter only two weeks ago. It is the Coup de POincare! We were then sixty metres from the German first line trenches, and from one trench to the other we could insult each other in truly Homeric fashion. As for me, my German, or what l remember of it, made me the Caller of Names in chief, for I could insult the "BOChes" in "boche' language! l must tell you that in the heterogeneous bric-a-b -brac of the abandoned villages everything. is to be found, and inevitably one runs across prehistoric stove-pipe hats high hats, rusty bIunderbustoid or even sugar-loaf form. Well, we had carried into the trenches one of these
 
 perb red umbrella, big enough 10 sheI- ter whole squad. The aforsesaid stove-pipe was cunningly set up on the end of a rifle so that it just showed above the trench. Behind came the red umbrella solemnIy spread out. The BOches having as everyone knows, scentific minds, deduced learn edly from this high hat the presence of POincare in the trenches. Most learned induction! Moreover we were believing like dOnkeys: Long live the president! Long live Poincare." while we walked the hat and umbrella up and down with calculated leisure. From the trench we heard the ROchee. or rather their officers, give the Crder to fire a volley at the hat; An den schWarzen hull" We literally rolled on the ground. At each v0IIey fired on the hat our laughter became Q reg ular malady. And the hat riddIgd. he roic, kept on going on the end of the gun. I think. the Boches finally heard the storm of laughter, for ! heard dis tnctly the word "Unsinn!' CStungD by which probably one of their officers, more intelligent or less learned than the others, told them that it was @ practical joke. The hat still kept on, but the game lost it's savor when they began to shell us.
 They haven't a penny's worth of humOr.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

soldier under some manure in a barn. With him were two dead pigs, such horrible discoveries as this happen to you everywhere in Flanders. It is war.
 What a colossal satire! All the nations are calling on the name of God to blight and butcher each others peoples past all redemption. But as we march on, soldiers though we are, there is that conveyed to us by the song of a thrush or the sight of a little child which undoes all the les sons in madness and murder we have learnt since this dread Thing began And as we march past the shrines and the stone images of the crucifed Jesus it is difficult to believe that war is a necessary spoke in the wheel of evolu- ton. That human nature cannot DOS sibly get on without cata Clysms like this war is the result of ignorance, vice. and selhshness-Chris Massie.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
prop the Hammer-eet Ruav.

MT. Editor: If your PlainfeId cor respondent is a citizen of the town of Plainf1eld let him discard the ham mer" and get to work with some other tool
 If he, or she, wants new high school building, get out & petition calling for @ special town meeting to see if the 4Own will vote to build one, and make an appropriation for that
 That would be business and would probably bring ocking'r never will,
 We doubt if there is a person in town who will deny the statement that we need a new high school building.
 Pla!ndeld has one of the best high schools In tho state-TesuIts sprove 1t. present accommodations,
 The present building instead Of be- ing Q "deplorable object" is Q good, looking building, wlHh attractive grounds.
 True, 1t is not 1reproof, neither. are c great majority of buildings, but 1t hag two wide entrances located ct oppoglte ends of the building and has no need of fire eseapoE."
 The fact that lower grades are teught in tho same building iB en- tirely Irrelevant, as also is the article quoted fro1n tho TTerniad.
 Get busy and do something that will count Instead of trying to be witty. and casting iHsinuations that can but harm the school and injuFes the naTne OF the grand old town that has freely and Gngrudgingiy given you eduea- ttehal advantages that saFeFnot exeelIed anywhere,
 A PLANE HELD CITIZEN -
 Rlainfeld JIIlF 97, s01e,
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
Quiet Neighbors in the Trenches.

Quiet Neighbors in the Trenches.
 The point at which we are stationed is that at which the Germans stopped after their defeat on the NIarne, when our troops, exhausted, had no more strength to pursue them, and they were able to organize their positions of defense. Even in the trenches one sees little mounds of earth, with an old bayOneL and a piece of wood arranged in the form of a crCss. They are graves. We are very near neighbors to those poor dead, in the holes which serve us as shelters, but we have no grudge against them for taking a lit tie room, although space is scarce and precious in the trenches
 There are some who are not buried at all. Twenty metres from our trench have seen in the moonlight a dozen German Corpses in sharpshooter form atlon-separated by regular intervals stretched out six paces apart. Their heads were like pOmegranates, burst open, red and black. All were decCm- posed, but lined up like that, they pre- served an appearance of discipline which was both grOtesque and ghastIy On one of them was found letter signed by "Dinah" who said that she kissed his Ieben krausen Korpf She certainly would not have kissed what was left of that dear curly head."- the half of a pomegranate, red and black. with the horrible aspect of a fruit bitten into and dried up. Why do l tell you all this? It's in very bad taste, l know. But that is war.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

and stayed four weeks but when ! came home l would faint just the same and had the same pains.
 A friend who is a nurse said for me to try Lydia E. Pinkham' Vegetable Com pound. began taking it that very day for 1 was suffering a great deal. It has already done me more good than the hospital. To anyone who is suffering as I was my advice is to stop in the first drug g-store and get bottle of Lydia E. Pinkhqm's Vegetable Com pound before you go home. Mrs. w. c. BROWN, 1109 Auburn Avenue, Cleve- land, Ohio.
 Why not take Mrs. Browns advice?
 Write for free and helpful advice to Lydia E. Pinkhann Medicine Go. Confidential, Lynns
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
In a Barn by the Waxside.
From Soldiers Letter, in The Herald
 (LOndOn).

(LOndOn).
 am writing these words in a barn by the wayslde. The world is pleasant with the harmonic chatter of peaceful things, and the weather outside Is glad and gay. Set in the contrast of deeD shadows and dazzling pools of light, our soldiers are busy untying their packs. Some have thrown themselves down in the thick straw and are all ready asleep. Others are writing let ters to their sweethearts. DO you think you will ever get 0ack?' is the agoniZlng joke of the moment. Do we? Well. it is far off-this England of ours.
 France is moving towards the sun Cowslips, viOlets, bluebir7S, daisies once more unfold the rainbow mystery of life, the garment OF many coIors The skies are blue, like the eyes Of young and innocent child. Over the earth spread the loving arms of spring the exquisite green tenderness of April bringing memories that cannot be dwelt on without tears. GOdl to think we are killing one another Hosts Of us are marching on and on, day after day, to some unknown fate. Young lads and grave men marching past the happy April fields, under the song of the lark and the light of the sun, through the sheltered woods, down the valleys, and over the hills to some destiny of death and despair!
 And. you cannot think how innocent some of the young lads are. We have one from the Channel islands who had never been in a train before he en- listed. Another boy looks forward to the time when he may make his first Journey in an electric tramcar! GlOr- tous young men, too, brave, manly, as beautiful as woman. In their eyes the strange, wistful, wonderful light which remains with those who are ac- customed to face death. The eyes Of a soldier-they are like the eyes of women in travail, or like the eyes Of a saint, or bright with fervor like the eyes of prophet or, poet. God! T. seems such an awful thing that even one of these children, should be hacked or+blown to pieces. Made so beautiful ly, in the patient labor of the ages through aeons and aeons of time the noble and glorious animal-nnan. And then to be blasted to death and tossed on q muck heap! Yesterday we found the body of a young French
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
WILL DO THE SAME THIS YEAR.

WILL DO THE SAME THIS YEAR,
 For forty-four years every national republcian platform has contained a declaration in favor of q tariff that would protect American industries. In that time the country has had three democratic administrations, one of them now in office. Business men and working men united in voting the other two out of office at the end of four years, and the indications are that they will do the same to the Wilson administration. - Amsterdam CN. Y.) Recorder.
 The war brought about industrial conditions which served to correct to some extent democratic folly.
 The Underwood tariff was so inef- hcient that the revenues of the gov ernment under it did not meet the ex- penses by eight million dollars a day; and this deficit has been so steady that the government had to devise other methods to overcome it.
 By an extension of the inheritance tax and the establishment of an in- come tax the administration hopes to make up the low tariff shortage.
 No party has ever been popular, or could long stay in power, that resort ed to personal rather than property taxes to make both ends meet.
 Between the foreign policy of Will son and the latest tax methods to correct mistakes, the democracy is this year doomed to defeat.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
TWO GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS.

The little state of Connecticut pro- duced the first iron-clad monitor in the world and the first undersea boat.
 It should be noted also that the first successful flying machines were made in America.
 Simon Lake is the father of all the submarines-and now he has in hand a submarine automobile designed to run upon the bottom of the ocean.
 Attention is being called to the fact that MT. Lakes first venture in the submarine field was the Argonaut, which ran on the bottom of Chesa- peake Bay. The wheels are of great service in following a dredged chan mel. In some experiments which MT. Lake performed for the Russian gov ernment at Ltbau, some years ago, he was able to pick his way out Of harbor much more easily than com petitors of his, simply by running along the bottom of a dredged chan nel.
 He proposes to be ready at the close of the war with these automobile sub marines to aid in the recovery Of val uable property and gold lost at the bottom of the sea in consequence of the war
 He has organized a salvage com pany and promises to get all the wealth Davy Jones has in his lockers.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

1 could not stand it any longer. It was all in my lower organs. At times | could hardly walk,
 for if I stepped on 8
 little stone l would
 almost faint. One day I did faint and m y husband W a 8 sent for and the doc
 tor came. was ta- ken to the hospitaR
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

age of exploration seeking the pearls and gold of the 'aInazons.'
 Lower California has two capitals La Ensenada, with a population of 2,0OO, 65 miles by sea from San Diego, Cal, and La PaZ, with $500 people, many of whom earn their livelihood from the ports pearl fisheries which are among the most important in the world
 Tn addition to it's pearl oysters, the waters of Lower California yield sponges, tortOises, sperm and gray back whales. while in the bayOus and river mouths of the east coast many alligatOrs are to be found"
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

When we cut off cotton in the eos the 'English cotton mills had to shut down and the operatives became idle. VIII her boycott of dissembling trades men do worse byk us?
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The kaiser regards himself as q perambulating fortress. He has gone rom the west to tho east front again, He appears to be confused concerning where he. is most needed.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The sugar beet crop of the world approaches nineteen billion pounds. America producen two billion pounds this year. This ought to help Wilson keep sweet.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The Deutschland has her papers but IS in no hurry to get the hounds after her. She would like to have her sis ter ship, the Bremen, kiss her before she leaves.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

If Great Britain hasn't discovered but eighty yellow pups in the bunch what is the government kicking about ? Isn't that a compliment to the U. S. A.?
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

When the London clerks charged the ka1ser's best troops and drove them out of trenches fortified for two years, London added an inch to it's chest expansion,
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
The ereater ITrTumnh.

Anyway, 1t seems better to mark, en era by trlunaphantIalg with science and ingenuity than by smashing an army or taking Verdun or Peronue.--Chica- go News,
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The waste coal in this country vas made up into s21,5s7 tons of bri- quettes last year. and 1t sold from s5 to S6'60 Q ton. This Is finding wealth in the waste places,
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The Ottawa (Canada) Citizen sayg of James WhitcuT1b Riley And his death makes most of us feel our own littlenesg, which is something Riley would nevers wilfully9 do if he were alIve,"
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

western parson says the movies are immoral because they do not ex- press the truth. All the immoral ones We have seen expressed the naked truth.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

A German view of a bargain: Pay us ten billion, Belgium, and we will get out! The price of vilIiany tops the market
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The government officials on the bor- der are breaking up the Connecticut troops and distributing them as though they were cattle instead of men.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Kansas had a wheat crop worth a hundred million; but she only feels able to invest $25.O0O, 900 in automo- piles this year.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

It never cost more to live than it does now; and the democratic party promised to reduce the cost of living.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The ship building industry is boom ing because congress cannot prevent it. Ships are in great demand in all parts of the world.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Berlin sends eutG Two British dreadaougats have beea terpedeed; and London calmly FepeFtsE, "N5othiag to it." IT Berlin didn't ela4m her eae= mics ere7beaten,s heF=ela4ms would be more 4eependable,
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
OTHER VIEW POINTS

Dispatches say the Turks are within thirty miles of the Suez canal Their friends hope they will not regret their approach to Britain's ship channel as deeply as the allies regret loitering about the Dardanelles.-Wa Re- publican.
 Our idea of a true disciple of pre- paredness is the man who spends his summer vacation in cleaning out the furnace, seeing that the winters sup ply Of coal is put in the right place, and splitting kindling and piling 'en in the ceiIar.-New Haven Times Leader.
 The health boards of the associated communities are in earnest in their announced intention to force the clean UpgOf every germ breeding and refuse ladened place in the cities under their control And the people are with them in their desire to enforce to the letter the laws of sanitation and the rules of cleanliness and health Those who doubt their earnestness in the matter will, if they. are guilty of in fraction of the health laws, be given an opportunity to change their mind in the police court in the near future -AnsOnia Sentinel.
 Another theory advanced in those states which have no woman suffrage is that if women vote, this or that would be prevented, or this or that would be accomplished. Again Lrac- iCal experience demonstrates that women vote exactly as men. States have gone prohibition without women and have turned it down with women. One of the worst governed cities in the Union is Denver, Colorado, where women have voted for twenty-three years. One might go through the whole list of states with women voting and find conditions existing such as New England, with women voting, changed ten, twenty and thirty years ago. Is graft absent? Is extrava- gance unknown? Not so as to notice it. Just read the California papers today-BridgepOr Standard.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The American Indians make dyes that are indellibIe and in popular de- mand They are and always have been independent of foreign competi- ton.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Let us hope the German crown prince as a military flyer will i'm press the world he is more of "a flyer than he is reputed to be.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

The prohibitionists with a campaign fund of three and half millions, ex- pect to make an impression. Here is another evidence money talks.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Now that Germany has the Allies whipped she is moving for peace. This seems to be the only move she can make to save her face.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Land at Manhansett, L. l., is worth ten thousand dollars an acre. It was thought to be dear Twenty-Five years ago at $1,O0O an acre.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
FOUR WEEKS
 IN HOSPITAL
Mrs. Brown Finally Restored to Health by Lydia E. Pinkham'a
 Vegetable Compound

Cleveland, Ohio.-" For years I suf- fered so sometimes it seemed as though
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Betting on a Sure Thing.
 As Israel Zangwiu anticipates sex strife after the war, some men look for everything soon to return to the Washington Post.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
Where's WIIsen's Luck Now?

Henry Ford is for him; but, of course, the president can't help It, IndiananoIis& Star.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28
EDITORIAL NOTES

The new American party with Bill Sulzer at it's head has too much fizz at the top.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-28

Beer is more plentiful than milk in Germany, but 1t isn't half 80 healthy7
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1916-07-20
WEDNESDAY,
The End Day of August, 1916

at two O'Clock p. NJ, all the following de
scribed property
All coal and surface rights OF the fol
lowing parcels Of land situated in District
No. Of Garrett County. Maryland.
o. Four small parcels of land com
prising together nine acres, together
with all the buildings and improve
ments thereon, including eleven tene-
ment houses, more or less, and a large
store building.
(2) All the coal in place including all
those four tracts of land adjoining the
above mentioned parcels of land con-
tanning 4SO acres, more or less.
90 All those parcels or tracts of
land described in lease from the Bayard
Coal & Coke Company 20 the Waitman
SmOkeless Coal Company, containing
493 acres more or less.
All of said tracts of land containg in
the aggregate about $50 acres of coal,
nearly all of which is include with
the six feet and four feet veins of coal
of quality and condition usually found
IN the Upper Potomac Region.
Reference is hereby made TO the MORTGAGE
above mentioned and the several deeds
therein mentioned for more particular de-
bounds. Also for reservations OF several
small parcels OF coal which are reserved to
original owners in said deeds. but which do
not materially effect the value of said pro-
perry.
(4) Also the following personal
property: 90 one-ton 20 inch gauge
mine cars. more or less, % tons of steel
rails. more or less, one set Fairbanks
Scales, one set Blacksmith tools, one
lot of mining tools, two boilers, with
pumps, one engine, and all appliances
and appurtenances thereto. all tram
ways, holsts, mine props, and all other
tools, buildings, structures. appliances
and equipment for operating the said
coal mines and mining plant, together
with all the rights of ways of every
kind and nature, including SAID tracts
and switches. and all the houses. resi-
dences and buildings, tipple dumps.
etc, now erected upon the said above
described premises.
The mining plant has recently been re-
paired and put INTO good condition for the
mining and Shipment OF coal, and is now an
actual working proposition. Inspection of
the property by prospective purchasers is
invited.
Purchaser can he given Immediate pos
session upon ratification OF the sale by the
Court.
the sale, and the balance in cash upon rati-
ncatiol OF the sale by the Court.
Coudersport Trust Company,
VIM. NJ. SOMERVILLE,
Solicitor.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1916-07-20

Saturday afternoon and Sunday in
Friendsville.
Irot Ashby of this place accidently
shot himself through the foot Monday
of this week.
Miss Ella Kildow, bookkeeper tor the
Kendall Lumber Company is away on
her vacation.
The W. o. W. & X. G. Z. are max
ing big preparations for their annual
picnic to be held August 26th They
expect to have several able speakers
and lots going on to entertain the
people at this time. Look out for big
time for the Crellin boys know how to
plan picnic.
Mrs. Russell burst was called home
suddenly by illness of her mother.
MIR. S. A. Kendall and two sons,
Samuel and John W. are spending some
time in our town.
Mr.. Frank White, the band filler, had
a special invitation to the all day meet
ing at Underwood Sunday, August 9Th.
Mr.. Verl D. Wipp is bookkeeper for
The Kendall Lumber Company during
Miss Kildow's absence.
Mr.. Jacob Sanders and family, of
Keyser. w. Va, was visiting his son
Marshall last week.
WOOD KICK.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1916-07-20
For Sale.

l offer for sale the property
known as the Swanton Mill, To-
Gated at Swanton, Garrett coun-
ty. The mill is fully equipped
to do a general milling bust
ness, the machinery consisting
of boiler and engine, l stand of
MS rolls with boiling out
fit for same, scourers, shucker,
etc; l French Burr, cracked
corn seive, also table meal
bolts, emery rig. This proper
ty will be sold at a reasonable
figure. Building 46x 60 feet.
If interested address.
W. HI. OSS,
lo-4t Swanton. Nd.