davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bisbee daily review., 1916-05-16
Property Sale
 Cash or Time Payments

Five room house, large airy rooms, has bath, sleeping porch, modern improvements, large yard, filled with flowers and shrubbery, this is an attractive home in Tombstone Canyon. Terms.
 Three-room furnished house, all ready to move in, located on School Hill. Bal. Monthly payments. $500 down.
 Three-room cement block house, on Opera Drive, in good condition, has bath, large closets, out buildings. Price SLIGO.
 Four-room house, in Warren, mod ern conveniences, good location, two lots. Price $500. Easy terms. Ten-room house, completely fur nished, house in perfect condition, nice location in Upper Lowell, S1,- 900 down. Balance monthly pay mentS.
 Two-room house, Tombstone Can yon, large lot, good well of water, $175 down, balance like rent.
 Desirable building lots close in, on O. K. Street. For these and other exceptional bargains, SEE
The hummer. (Houston, Miss.) 1914-19??, 1916-01-14
Funnyism.

There is one crop of never failing growth and that is
Jokes. Every day and every minute somebody is pulling
the latest and generally they get by America must IN
deed be the wittiest nation on the globe for no public
utterance or act can 60 a day without the usual witty re-
ferences. When Ford cars became popular the amount Of
Jokes directed toward themSS~, and is yet unlimited. The
marriage of the PRESIDENT" ace for political prestige
among the Democrats andE licanS-FOrdS peace party
charlottesville war in Europe and Mexico and other
kindred subjects all come in for jokes good and bad. What
ever happens the majority OF the people look on the bright
side of it and puns Immediately split the air. Every man
or woman in public places strives to pull some wit that
will draw the laughs and just that practice has developed
a nation of the quickest witt the world. More questions
are answered with punS than any other way and the sup
ply is still without end. CartooniStS make the nation
laugh every day and many people wonder what they Will
think of next. By careful observation we believe Uncle
Sam is represented in more funny cartoons than any other
character. Wilson, Teddy Bryan and the Kaiser follow
closely on his heels. But little Tommie and Johnny in
school, the Sufragette, the mOther-in-aW, the old maid,
the auto, lovers, farmer COrntOsSel and the college KID Will
remain the stock jokes for many moons.
Just to make you laugh we print below come jokes
lately read and heard. If they don't make you even smile
well, you are nearly ready to laugh now. AS you know
it is hard to give credit to jokes because so many papers
copy without the name of publication, so we give these,
authors unknown:
Ehren Boyd told US this one last week-A %sutfragette
was SICK and her neighbor5 who we're also ardent "SuffS
and intensely femme came in to offer consolation. One OF
them bent over the weary form and Said-"JuSt put your
trust in God and SHE will we you rest"
~TheteTaer i~qassqcted eG3If ffqI SEit $4,000, ddH5@GDoIEiittit9l e
Willum handed in a bank ,et of paper!
ohe; why does Hubbub open his watch so much for?
He: Maybe there's a woman in the case.
C4:Lj ~,,.,
Strickland Gillian says; "Hew to the styles and let
the hips fall where they may"
Authors wife: How much of the cereal will you have
this morning.
Absent minded author 0 about two chapters!
Hubbub: | see you have an arm in sling. Is it
broken?
Subbub: Yes, broke it while trying to pat myself on
my back.
Hubbub; Great scott! What for?
Subbub: For minding my own business
The hummer. (Houston, Miss.) 1914-19??, 1916-01-14
Congratulations To Conner

The Hummer happily hands the good word to Mike
Conner, lately chosen Speaker of the House at Jackson
He was a schoolmate and good friend of the editors while
at the University of Mississippi and just as he is leader
now Of the House 50 was he a leader in school. Mike
showed the quality while there that later on makes MAN
among MEN. We feel sure that he will rule impartiahy
and really lead the Legislature into better laws for the
good old state of Mississippi. We are happy to see so many
old s%choolmates in the law making body and as we think
over their life at college the picture comes before US thai
they WORKED. They cut the little dOingS of preppy stu
dents-theY debated with a vim-they made friends easy
they believed that preparation Then would HELP then
NOW. All honor to the young men who can compete
with older heads because they are PREPARED. Another
victory for college education. Again, friend Mike, we say
our congratulations.
The hummer. (Houston, Miss.) 1914-19??, 1916-01-14
O, HORRORS!

Inc following tunnyiSm from The SWeetWater ReDort-
er has been going the rounds of many papers in the state
ana now we pass it on for you to laugh long and loud;
"A few days ago a young man with his sister visited a
department store to purchase a gift for his sweetheart as a
birthday present. Thinking a book or box of bon bons TOO
common, ne decided to give her a pair of gloves and made
MS purchase accordingly, while his sister purchased a pair
OF fancy stockings for herself. Both gloves and STOCKINGS
were wrapped in similar packages. In some way the
bundles became mixed, and the young man not knowin6
the mistake sent the stockings to his sweetheart, accom-
panied by the following note:
DeareSt-l hope you will enjoy this little present in
stead OF something foolish, 0, how | wish no other hands
IMAM NINE would ever touch them after you have put them
oh'Dut know dear that such a wish is in vain. A score If
lelloWS may touch them when In not at your side and
other eyes than mine may see them on the street and at
parueS' | bought the longest pair | could find and if thew
are too long you can let them wrinkle down. ALWAYS wear
them at parties. want to see how they fit. Some fellows
nave dirty hands and are likely to soil them, but YOU can
clean them dear, with benzine, if you leave them on until
Dry l nope they are not too small. Blow in them before
putting them on.
From your loving
The engagement is off and Il the. unfortunate vonn6
man ever shows his mug in that end of town he will oct #
knocked off by the manlke fists of dearest ones father
Morai-always look inside of a package before send
ing it away"
The hummer. (Houston, Miss.) 1914-19??, 1916-01-14
WHEN YOU BUY YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT
YOU ARE GETTING.

When you have a proposition made to you on life insurance it
is your duty to yourself and to your family to thoroughly under
sand every feature OF the policy before buying. Many people
are lead into buying a policy when they do not know the kind OF
contract they are getting. In our office we can show you every
policy written by any insurance company and you can compare
the different features and see for yourself what you would get
1t will be a pleasure for US to have you 10 come us tor lnfoTma-
ton REGARDING any proposition you would like to have. Whether
you want to purchase insurance or not it will always be a pleas
ue to give it to you. We make it our business to have a record
of every insurance company and their different kinds OF policies
CALI. ON US. Phone 100.
The hummer. (Houston, Miss.) 1914-19??, 1916-01-14
THE HUI M M E r
RAD HARRILL REED, EDITOR

Entered as second class matter March Goth, 1916, at the postofice
Houston. Mississippi, under the act of March 3rd, 1879"
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17

R. D. Barge and son, Cecil, left
this morning for Yakima, where
Barge, sr. will more or less brave
ly face the onslaughts of a merci-
less and determined dentist and
Cecil will probably have a minor
nasal operation performed.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
Mcclellan, Republi-
can, Loses when
Returns are Can
vassed.

The official count of the Benton
county vote made by the county
commissioners showed an error of
IL votes in the unofficial count for
the Office of county treasurer,
which was sufficient to elect II.
S. Huntington, the Democratic
candidate, by Il majority of 4
votes. On the unofficial vote j. C.
Mcclellan, the Republican candi-
date, appeared to have been
elected by Z votes. While other
errors were found by the official
count, they were not large enough
to change the result as announced
in last weeks Spokesman, except
to reduce the majority of the sue
cessful candidate in some instances
and increase it in others.
G. w. Fristoe, democrat. by the
official count was shown to have
been elected by majority Of 1876
over Andrew Brown, republican,
intead of 1872. Fristoe and Hunt
ington were the only successful
democrats on the county ticket.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
They are Grateful

Successful candidates who re-
ceived fat majorities in White
Bluffs are duly grateful as the fol-
lowing letters to the Spokesman in
dicate:
II think the showing made in
White Bluffs of so to Is was in
deed most favorable. Only one
precinct did better. That was
Graded precinct in the northern
part of Adams county which cast
Al votes and l received them all
1t is needless to say that | am
much gratified with the excellent
majority given and that / shall
seek earnestly to justify the conf
denca which the people of the dis.
trict have reposed in me.
JOHN TRUAX
"Please thank the people at
White Bluffs and Hanford for me
for the splendid vote received
over there on the 7th. In fact my
whole vote in the east end of the
county exceeded my expectation
and am surely grateful.
C.. w. FRISTOE
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
Big Plans for
Pioneer Day

"Who-Was-who in White Bl uff
Twenty Years Ago." will be told
at the Pioneer day open meeting of
the Woman's club which will be
held at the school house Wednesday
night of next week. The public is
invited to attend. Refreshments
will be served and an interesting
program, which will include pio-
neer "reminiscences, will comprise
the evenings entertainment. A
small admission charge will, be
made to provide funds to carry on
the public work in which the club
is engaged.
Mrs. George Shaw is chairman of
the committee having the affair in
charge. As this is the first public
function to be held at the school
house this winter a large attend
ance is expected.
Admission will be based on the
novel guage of ones heighth in
feet and inches-a penny for each
foot and each additional inch. If
you are 5 feet l / inches tall it will
cost you 16 cents, while on the 9TH
err hand, if, like other valuable
goods, you are done up in a small
package and are only S feet tall,
sou get in for a ffckel. =
AS before stated, it will be a
public affair to which all the men
and women in the valley are invit-
ed.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
M. Henry WEEDS
Lrish Lassie

Word reached White Bluffs this
week of the marriage of Martin
Henry and Susannah Corrigan at
Poplar Bluff, Missouri, about the
first of the month. Both of these
people were former residents of
this place and are we'll known to
many in the valley. The bride had
a homestead on the east side of the
Columbia on which she lived for
several years. She proved up and
received patent for it about year
ago. The groom owns land on this
side of the river and while living
here few years ago clerked in the
old White Bluffs Mercantile COM
pany store. Mr.. and Mrs. Henry
will live at Verndale, Minnesota,
near which place Mr.. Henry has
land. The Spokesman extends Aor-
CALCULATIONS. "
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
Buys Land near
Fry's Place

H. A. Hamlin of Seattle last
week purchased 80 acres near the
L. N. Fry ranch at Allard. Plans
are being made by the neighbors
there to put in community pump
ing plant for the irrigating of
their landx The plant. to begin
with, will have a capacity of 800
gallons per minute but will be SO
installed that it can be enlar ged as
more land comcs'under with very
little expense. Mr.. Fry will have
charge of the recent purchase of
MIR. Hamlin and will begin at once
preparing the ground for seeding
next spring.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
Irrigation Institute
Draws Crowd.

With interest sharpened by the
prospects of an irrigation code at
the hands of the legislature, the
fourth annual irrigation institute,
in session this week at North Yak
ina, was full Of interest and en-
thusiasm.
In his annual address, President
E. F. Benson suggested that a
change in the irrigation district
law to give the nonresident owner
a vote in the proceedings.
Several interesting papers were
read and the discussions were spir-
tied and instructive.
Attorney M. M. Moulton of Ken.
newick had business in this end of
the county last Saturday.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
Allard Gardens Bloom
In Spite of Cold Weather

A small bouquet oNfowers con-
tanning specimens of seven differ
ent varieties Of summer ANIMALS
was handed in to US last Saturday
by Chief Of Police John Dumert of
Allard. His handing us bouquet
for anything was not so remark
able as his ability to find flowers
out of doors anywhere with the
thermometer skating around the
zero mark. But John says he lives
in the only banana belt in the state
of Washington and to prove it, says
he is still picking fresh strawber-
ries from his garden.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
Load Out Last
Car of Apples

w. Clifford Wright, who has
been here for the past six weeks in
charge of the apples bought and
shipped out by the Wright Fruit
company of North Yakima, lett
Friday morning for his home in
Yakima. The Wright company
bought eight cars altogether here,
of different varieties and grades Of
apples, the last two cars going out
Friday morning. Mr.. Wright said
his firm was we'll satisfied with
their deal here and that the quail
ity of the apples was better than
they expected.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17

H. w. Lemcke has sold five cars
of apples to the j. w. Perry com
pany of North Yakima, two of the
cars going out Friday morning.
Included in this Friday shipment
were few boxes from the l.. E.
Bishop ranch.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17
WINS TREASURERSHIP
By VOTES ON OFFICIAL COUNT
BLOWS BITTERLY,
COLD ' RECORDS SMASHED

Breaking all records for Novem-
Der weather since the coldsnap of
1911, an icy wave came down from
the north Sunday night, bringing
zero weather to many points in the
northwest. 1t was 3 above in this
valley.
Considerable damage was done
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17

Clarence Hanford returned to
Seattle Friday morning after bask-
ing for a week in the pleasant sun
shine of the valley, looking after
matters connected with the oper-
alton of his ranch west Of town.
White Bluffs spokesman. [volume] (White Bluffs, Wash.) 1907-1938, 1916-11-17

to apples in unprotected packing
sheds and potatoes in the field. Es-
Inmates of the loss in the Yakima
valley run as high as a thousand
cars. Practically all the crop in
the vicinity of White Bluffs had
been packed and marketed, so that
little damage was done locally
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1916-05-13

one Of the largest windows common.
deered for the installation OF a.
strangely complex apparatus used IA
Stems electric wave-proiector (which
was announced TO be the latest i'm
provement on wirelessl. but the upper
and lower floors OF the suites were
connected by smooth.wallei shaft
which. II was explained, would make
easier the passage back and forth OF
chemicals and apparatus needed by
the illustrious Doctor Stein in his
carefully guarded experiments.
Equally well prepared was Legar's
second base OF activities. the secret
subcellar beneath the Owls Nest This
second warren, deep as II stood I'M
foreground. was also provided with a
secret passageway leading into a wa
ter-gate opening on the East river IL.
self.
IL was from both these points that
Legar was conducting his campaign
against his od-time enemy Enoch
Golden And both OF these points
might have remained as we'll hidden
as their user still dreamed them TO be
had IL not been for the casual agency
OF a pocket camera For less than an
hours work I'm the office OF the regis
ter OF automobiles had duly shown
Manley that license No. 6249 belonged
TO one Prof Herman Stein OF AZ Maple
avenue. Yet Manley, armed as he was
with the knowledge OF this cars iden-
tity. showed no undue haste I'm inter
fering with its movements. For still
another hour OF cautious shadowing
on the part OF Golden's private secre-
tary provided him with the knowledge
that Doctor Stein was i'm the habit OF
motoring from Maple avenue 10 the
Central Tower building. and from that
prosperous skyscraper 10 an humble
point within block OF the Owls Nest
itself Thirty minutes later found
Marley in a telephone booth, talking
to his employer
Have you received any message
from that man Legar?" asked the
younger man. after impatiently ex-
planning who he was
Il have received a message but |
don't know it came from Legar"
Then how did you get it?"
1t was thrown through my house
window folded mp in a beer bottle.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1916-05-13

at the mIlk.white skin. Then a groan
OF disappointment broke from his
throat
mo tho mark Is not therel"
What mark ?" asked the wondering
girl.
MY daughter carried scar on her
right arm. My men. when she was a
child on Windward island, caught and
killed a shark. The child, when no one
watched her, thrust a hand In between
the brutes Jaws Those dying jaws
closed on the flesh, and an iron bar
had 20 be used to open them again
And they said that scar would always
stay with her"
The girl. wide-eyed. dropped back
into the armchair.
Why, ! seem 10 remember" she
said. staring before her. Il seem to
remember years ago. rows and rows
OF sharp teeth and the sudden pain as
those teeth came together"
But the scarf" cried Golden.
There is no scarf"
Il seem 20 remember about that.
too. IL was long ago, after Legar had
brought me across water and then
miles and miles In a railway train. l
remember him taking me 10 a man
who wore round eyeglasses, and show
ing him my arm. This man gave me
something TO make me sleep. But
when | Weakened my arm was sore
again, for weeks and weeks And
when IL healed the scar was gone.
remember" But she stopped sud
denly. for the telephone bell close be
side Golden shrilled out a sudden call.
Mechanically the man at the desk took
up the receiver his eyes still on the
girl facing him.
This is Eastman OF the central Of
ice speaking. said the voice over the
wire "A short while ago a young
woman was seen entering your
house
Well. what of it," was the imps-
tient inquiry.
Our office merely wants to warn
you that the girl is Blonde Casey, the
come-on for the Cookson gang. She's
the smoothest swlndler In the bust
ness And az long as that babyey
shecrook is in your house. Golden,
your house will be in DANGER"
Golden hung up his receiver and sal
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1916-05-13

"Will you please read me that mes.
sage And quickly. for this is impor
tant"
Here it is" answered the Devil
dered voice over the wire. You are
keeping Blonde Casey a prisoner In
your house Unless you liberate her
within an hour your house will 60 up
In flames. And after that house, your
next house and the next IL Is signed
The Cookson Gang But what am
to believer What am | TO do2 And
what IL the answer to all these mys-
teries?"
Whatever you do. don't let them
get that young woman away from
you"
Family the listener could hear the
sound OF sudden calls OF quick ques.
tions and answers and eounter-ques.
ton. Then the voice OF Golden was
once more frantically calling him over
the wire
"Manley, Manley Is that you?
You've spoken TOO late Wilson, my
butler. has just hurried in TO me here.
Ten minutes ago a stranger claiming
to be meter Inspector got entrance
to the house you hear me, they've
taken that girl She's gone''
Gone echoed Manley. Then !
haven't time 10 stand here talking
Yet Enoch Golden, even as Manley
himself. had little time for talking
over that strange abduction. For two
minutes later his still Hurried butler
announced the arrival OF James Girls
void the president OF the Union
Traders bank. on urgent business
Golden" began that visitor almost
as soon as he had crossed the thresh-
old. Il have counted myself among
your friends But when receive a
note like this threatening me and my
business. | regard II as about time TO
see you, face TO face.
Golden took the sheet OF paper from
the bankers hand. lie stood regard
ing Il with troubled eyes For Il read
You are a friend OF Enoch Golden,
the oppressor OF the poor. the scaven'
ger OF unclean gold The blow that is
about to fall on you and your bank
falls because OF this alliance with evil
doors You are warned
The grim.jawed millionaire turned
on his visitor.
THAT IA not ALL" declared the bank.
or. Nor is this afternoons paper,
with lts bitter attack on you aud
your tenements all But three hours
later my fellow banker. Gresham OF
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1916-05-13

command. Get down 10 Griswold's
bank with these checks, and be quick
about itl"
whereupon Manley meekly took his
departure. Two minutes later, how
ever. yet another figure was passing
through the gloomy silences OF Enoch
Golden's home. II was a more purpose
ful figure than that OF the lazy-eyed
ydh$g secretary. And over the face
OF this intruder as he cautiously made
his way through the great house was
an 0dd.looking band OF yellow cloth.
cut in the form OF mask. The center
OF this, dropping apronlike almost TO
his upper lip. was marked by an In
verted crescent. which At first glance
lent TO the partly covered face the
faint suggestion OF an ironically laugh.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1916-05-13

ment and his own irearm spoke FIRST.
The shirtsleeved figure fell in a
heap. where he had stood In the open
doorway.
At the sound OF that shot. from
within could be heard sudden calls
and shouts and hurrying steps.
That's Lcgar cried Manley. as he
caught sight Of the one-armed figure
side by side with a bespectacled Ger
man striving and fighting 20 push
shut the intervening door. But tho
fallen mans body lay in tho way. and