The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1916-12-11

impeachment in its speech on Novem-
Der z. From 1900 in September to
1000 is some drop.
Willcox-But Colonel Roosevelt did
not suffer from vocal trouble. His
voice was heard throughout the land.
McCormick-So l noticed from the
returns. He helped US in the winning
of the West.
Here the voice of Roosevelt inter-
rupted the colloquy. saying: am. now
devoting my attention &c ny duties as
grandfather. But my health is bull
ly In 1920 the country will know
where to find me. My address is still
at Oyster Bay.
Willcox-What about New Jersey?
McCormick-Hush, hush, we will
talk of other things.
Willcox-Well, how about Indiana?
McCormick-We saved Tom Mar
shall out of that wreck.
Willcox-That's so. He was run.
ming wasn't he. I wonder what went
wrong in Kansas.
Kansas can tell you. Two dollar
wheat, ten dollar hogs, Ford machines
and player pianos.
Willcox-Do you think he kept you
cut of war?
Kansas dunno. But somebody
got US out of debt.
The National chairmen continued to
comment referring to the suffragists,
Henry Ford and the lonesome demon
Rum" who had just been thrown out
of several more states. The Demon
Rum" sang pathetic song depicting
the hopeless future for demon Rum"
and his rummy crew, when the follies
closed with the following:
McCormick-It's funny, isn't it?
Willcox-W What's funny? If any
things funny tell it to me. need a
laugh.
McCormick-It's funny how the
world keeps going around, no matter
what happens.
Willcox-Yes, but it will move very
slowly for the next four year.
Next came vaudeville sketch, the
scene theaterical booking Office, with
Roosevelt and Bryan, as "the Crisis
Cross twins," Senator Lewis, Colonel
George Harvey and other national
figures applying for engagements.
Roosevelt and Bryan were first tried
out:
| T. R.
The Victoria Cross I'd greatly prize;
The Iron Cross do despise;
But if can't the hero be,
Some medals of my own you'll see
They'll get the double cross from me.
Bryan
They got the cross of gold from me;
The Nobel Prize I've hoped to see,
Now, humbly, bearing my cross
come
To say, "You shall not cruelty the bum
upon the cursed cross of rum"
T. R.-Say, Willie, what is the diff
ference between what you intend to do
to the democratic party and what i
have done to the republican party?
Bryan-Well, Teddy, what is the
/ difference?
!! T. R.-You intend to make the dem
ocratic party dry and have made the
republican party sweat.
When 7. r. and Bryan had been or
dered out of the booking Office, Sem
ator Lewis, of Illinois, whip of the
Senate, appeared and recited long
series of verses, of which the follow
ing are typical:
Who guides unruly Senate bucks,
And keeps the party on its trucks
Who is, in short, the whip de luxe?
Jim Ham.
| And tied a tin can to his tail;
And put the "din" in dinner pail?
/ Jim Ham.
Who is the White House blushing pet,
The truly, only one best bet,
i OF the Democratic Smartest set?
Jim Ham.
| Sol. 0eoESe harvey, WHO prcuICCeu
the election of Hughes by large ma
jority, next appeared and was ,chided
and election of certain professor
in New Jersey"
Harvey-Moreover, four years ago
calculated exactly what electoral
votes each of the three candidates
would have.
| Agent Wonderful. Have you done
oy the vaudeville agent. Harvey said
he was lightning calculator, and that
he had predicted the first domination
any of the same kind of calculating
lately?
/ Harvey-(truclently) If you are go