Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1916-10-06
Finnegan's Philosophy
BALAAm

Well do / mind the story, said
Finnegan. Balaam was q highbrow
that knowed less than his Jackass. He
took an office to curse the people
Numbers Twinty-two. Och honel IT'S
different these times. The Jackass
knew better till Balaam tanned him.
Lave me ride ye," says Balaam, IAN
I'll make ye the biggest Ass in the
wurld."
Great" says the Ass; what dye
feedr"
Pork" says BALKAN.
Me savior" says the ASS.
So Balaam mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
''Phwat is it?' says BALKAN.
Snakes" says the ASS; "Ut looks
like the Jawbone Nv me mother"
"G'wan," says BALKAN, hittin' the
ASS a clip. "'tis me furren' policy"
he says.
"Phwat's ut forT axes the Ass.
"Ut dehnds the nashun," says Ba-
lam.
"How?" says the ASS.
Faith" says Balaam, "ut takes a
bigger Ass than you to know that
Lave 1t to Brine" says BALKAN to the
Ass; an the Jack walks ON medita-
tin.
"Hee, haw," says the Ass, balkin' an
kiclsin'.
"What now?" says Balaam.
"Divil a Jackass ever seen the like
says the Ass. "Ut could be frog"
says he, "for ut stands up in front,
an sits down behind; an tbs mostly
mouth" says the ASS. "Ut has white
feathers" says the Jack. vivid yaller
streaks. that changes" he says, ito
Very Crooz Red. or Niagaray Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again."
says he. "Hivins. have / been drink
IMP screams the Ass to Balaam.
Saints be praised" says BALKAN.
me Watchful Waitin' can still change
its mind" he says. "G'wan, where
glory waits" he says. "G'wan, In the
service Nv Mankind" says 1Balaam to
the Ass. touching him up. An the
Ass shuffles ahead, wavin' his ears In
admiration.
'Hee-haw! Hee-haw! says the Jack
rearin' up wild his eyes bulgln
"Phwat's grippin' We now?" says Ba-
laam, impashunt like.
81 donno," says the ASS ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialist Crew." he says.
"'Tis me Ship BILL" says Balaam
side step to the right" he says; "side
step to the left" says he. weltin' him.
"Back up" says BALKAN, near wrench
In off the Jacks Jaw. "Now forward
for the Merchant Marine an fifty
millyun pork" says Baaam wild a
shower NV blows; an the ASS goes on
thremblin'.
"Wah-heel Wah-heel Wah-hee" says
the Jack, shyin so he near threw his
rider.
"Ill learn We to shy at me Naval
Bill" says BALKAN, lar-rupin' the haste
so he cud scarce stand.
"Ye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican Clothes" says the Jack in a
coarse whisper.
"Ye ASS" says Balaam. Don't We
know that amy cloes is betther nor
nakedness? G'wan." says Balaam, In
tones Nv thunder. So the poor basic
lopes on, limpin' wild pain.
I've not time to tell ye all the adven-
lures they had, but they KEEP on over
rough roads, now an then crossin a
ditch on a wan term plank, which
made even BALKAN unaisy. Iviry time
h. To oil 1t h. h.
an a wallup. So when the journey
was near over, the poor haste wus all
In, and far too proud to fight Any
Jack-Ass can be that when he's licked
Wan stormy night. the Jack blooms
into a harmony like a Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gaspipe wild the feet
"Phwat ais We .now.f' calls BALKAN
clubtin' him wild both hands.
'Nivver did pass the like" yells the
ASS, sweatin' and thremblin'. "Ut
says ut's an eight hour law. oh, .phwat
is ut?' screams the Ass to Balaam
feebly Vaughn his ears.
, 81 dinno phwat ut is meself," says
Balaam, but know phwat ut's got,
! Balaam says.
"Phwat" axes the poor ASS.
! give hundther thousand votes" says
BALKAN, wild pious air. "G'wan, ye
big Ass. an doant ye argue wild al
Idaylist," says Balaam to the ASS.
1--WE can't pass ut in the dark" pleads
the ASS Lave us wait for light,
means the Ass, weepin'.
Mix" says Balaam, There's a hot
time comm an the votes'll Spite. Dc
We thurst for sixteen more years I'm tn.
wilderness? Giddip," says he, "purg
In yer heart" says BALKAN, ''iv ivir,
thought that's selfish" says BALKAN
cor personal" chants Balaam to tn,
poor Ass ticklin' the Jacks Stats wild {
couplln' pin.
BY this time, the Ass was so wore
out wild his ardyous labors. that b,
knew no more than Balaam himself
SO, wild one despairin' cry, he droppet