davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Rookie Knew the Corporal.

He was "rookie" on his first sen- try duty at one of the military train ing camps. The corporal of the guard had told him what to do when the of ficer of the day appeared, which by rule ought to be at about half past nine at night. Sentry was to notify corporal when the officer had passed. At 10 o'clock no report from the sen try. The corporal wanted to know why. The sentry was sorry; he had not seen the officer. Keep me post ed," said the corporal, sharply; "he is mighty late" Fifteen minutes later the officer appeared, and this col loquy ensued: Sentry: "Who goes there?" Officer: "Officer of the day." Sentry: You're late, you are. You'll get - when the corporal of the guard sees you"
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
He'll Get Us Mad Yet

Editor Breen's new hotel at Flag staff is to be known by the euphonious title "Pine Heights" and the contract for it's construction has been let to an Fl Paso firm for $2OO,OOO. We don't know where Breen gets all this money unless the limit has been re- moved from the game, but we will accept his invitation to eat a meal there when the hash foundry gets to working full time.-Winslow Mail.
 Now, look-a-here- Chapman, we ain't sore about them few hundred thous- ands, them few is laid up for the win ter, but when you call us "euphoni- ous," and also "tittle" and also "Pine Heightus," all the hash you can get from us is working for some one else.
 For heavens sake cut out this hotel business-can't you get nothing to eat at home? We ain't mad about this yet, but it's narrowing down some, for. just the other day a China man accused us of holdin' out a meal ticket among the 800 we printed for hlm. Cut it out, we're in bad now.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Killed by an Officer.

An exciting pistol duel between James Masterson, of Lower Miami, or the one side, and Deputy Sheriff Bill Wilson of Globe and Constable Henry Nichols of Miami on the other, re- suited in the killing of Masterson at noon Saturday on the railway track by the Globe-Miami Mercantile con- pany's warehouse in Miami. The fa- tai shot was fired by Wilson.
 The affair started in row during the morning at Charley Fishers Smoke Shop on Sullivan street. Mas terson entered the place evidently drunk, and created a disturbance which resulted in his expulsion. Mas terson then went to his home, secured a gun, and returned to the hall, where he made threats, but left without starting fight. Meeting officers who went to arrest him, he fired several shots at them and was finally killed by the deputy sheriff.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
PROGRESSIVE PROGRAM
 BY NATIONAL STOCKMEN

Resolutions urging an investigation of the packing and livestock indus tries by the federal trade commission were adopted at Denver Saturday at the concluding session of three-day conference of the marketing commit tee of the American National Live stock association, with prominent live stock men of the west and southwest in attendance.
 An aggressive program was map ped out for pressing, at the next ses- sion of congress, measures designed to remedy producing and marketing conditions" of livestock throughout the country.
 Walter l.. Fisher, former secretary of the interior, and counsel for the association, outlined proposed legis- lative measures as follows:
 First, illegal practice of packers should be stopped.
 Second, practices that are not illeg- al, but yet are injurious to the live stock industry and the country should be remedied.
 Third, our present unsound eron- omic system must be changed"
 Another resolution adopted urges the enactment of laws by the various states that would place stockyards and terminal facilities under public utilities laws.
 The marketing committee is com posed of H. A. Jastro of California, B. l.. Burke of Omaha, Ike T. Pryor of San Antonio, Gov. J. B. Kendrick of Wyoming and A. E. Dericqles of Denver.
 The executive committee of the as- sociation, which met in connection with the marketing committee, conti- nues in session today to complete the work of embodying the recommenda- tions and resolutions in formal statement of the associations policy.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Oh, Dear!

Gilligan, the Demon Swatter, step- ped up to the plate.
 It was the last half of the ninth inning with the score tied and two men out.
 Gilligan swung at the first ball and missed.
 The next one was a ball, and the next and the next.
 The umpire called the next one a strike, though twenty thousand fans disagreed with him.
 "This one tells the tale," said everybody to his next neighbor.
 Gilligan gripped his bat firmly, dug his spikes into the ground and swung with all his might.
 Crack! The ball sped as if shot out of cannon, far over the center field fence, while the Demon trotted round the bases amid the plaudits of the multitude.
 When the excitement had subsided bit, girl-Oh, she was a beautiful girl. You ought to've seen her. well, anyhow, this girl touched her escort timidly on the arm and asked in dulect tones.
 "Does the batter have to pay for the ball when he loses it over the fence like that?"
 And yet some people think women should be allowed to vote.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
UNITED STATES HONOR.
Hughes Criticism of Foreign Policy
 Approved In West.
Portland (ore.) Telegram.l

Portland (Ore.) Telegram.]
 The Republican party has selected standard bearer whose utterances from day to day justify the people who chose him. Not only does he bring before the country the short comings of the Administration that owes Its existence to a divided Re- publicanism, but his criticism is every where constructive.
 He tells what must be done and will be done by the party he represents to prevent wastefulness and extravaganza in the governmental expenditures and to put stop to the vacillating policy that has caused other nations to be- lieve that the United States has no in- tention of backing up its demands made in the interests of justice and humanity.
 Most vulnerable of all points in the Democratic armor is its foreign policy. Primarily this is because of the spells system by which men trained in the consular and diplomatic service through long years, have been displac- ed to make room for politicians and friends of politicians, whose sole claim to preferment was their services to the Democratic party.
 "If I am elected president of the United States" said Mir. Hughes last night, T propose that every man I put in charge of an important depart ment shall be man eminently fit to discharge the duties of that depart ment."
 The denuding of the diplomatic serv- ice of men of experience in order'to supply political jobs, as has been done by Mir. Wilson, or with his consent, MT. Hughes denounces as "a capital ofense-trading fin the good name of the United States and damaging it's honor." Nobody" he adds, ''has a right to pay political debts with the good name and honor of the United States"
 Which is clear. proof that MT. Hughes has not been unmindful of the high principles of government which must be maintained in order that this republic shall maintain its place as shining example to all nations.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
AUTOMOBILE RAGING AT
 THE BIG STATE FAIR

An announcement of interest to automobile drivers and dealers of the state was made recently from the of flee of the State Fair Commission, when the plans for the 1916 automo- bile races were given out.
 Saturday, November 18th, will be given over to automobile racing ex- clusively, and the main feature will be the One Hundred Mile Free For All Track Race for cars and drivers of Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, un- der sanction of the A. A. A. A purse of $2,0O0 has been hung up, to be split first $1,0O0, second $500, third $500 and fourth S100.
 This is the opportunity that the drivers and automobile fans of the Southwest have been wanting for years. The fact that Barney Oldfield, Earl Cooper and other professional ex- hibition drivers have raced at the State Fair in the past and run away with all of the money has had ten dency to discourage and car owners of Arizona. The State Fair Commis- sion this year decided to confine these events to the Southwest, and distrib- ute this money among local drivers, from whence it will find its way into the regular channels of business, and besides keeping the money which is annually spent on automobile racing at home, will no doubt provide more interesting sport than has ever been staged heretofore. The local interest which will attach to the car from any given community in the state will in the estimation of the State Fair management more than offset the drawing power of drivers of the Bar ney Oldfeld type.
 In addition to the above race the Fair Commission has made applica- tion to the A. A. A. for sanction for a road race from Douglas to Phoenix for Monday, November 18th, the open ing day of the fair. A purse of $125O is offered for this event, divided in 5000, $450 and $200.
 All cars entering in the road race will be expected to enter for the track events, and will no doubt take chance at both purses.
 The road race is already creating interest in automobile | circles in Douglas, Phoenix and inter- vening towns. It will be a splendid | for the Borderland as we'll as furnishing some excitement for the residents along the route.
 A five mile elimination contest will De run immediately preceding the one hundred mile track race on Saturday, and $1O0 silver trophy is offered for he car named for entry" by any ,ity or town in Arizona making the pest time. Competition for this cup s limited to cars entered in the name
  'f some city in Arizona, and in addi- ion there will be a cash prize of $50 for the driver of the car winning he cup.
 A series of novelty races by Ford ars will constitute an amusing part f the afternoons program, and be of interest to the thousands of Ford 'wners in the state. These events are imited to stripped down Ford ma hines owned in Arizona, New Mexico nd Texas, and driven by drivers from hese states. A purse of $250 is of cred for these events, and there will undoubtedly be deluge of entries.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
HE KEPT US OUT
 OF WHAT WAR?
Dislngenuous to Boast That It's Through Any Act of Wilson We Are Out of the Euro-
 pean Contest.
RATHER SHOULD BE BLAMED
 FOR MEXICO BELLIGERENcY

During the Present Administration We Have Seized a Mexican Port and Sent Our Entire Army and Militia to Fight Mexieans While Armed Mexican Forces Have Invaded Amer. ican Soil and Fought Battles Against Our People.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22

nave Seixed Mexican Port anc
 Sent Our Entire Army and Militia
 to Fight Mexicans While Armed
 Mexican Forces Have Invaded Amer.
 ican Soil and Fought Battles Asains,
 Our People.
 Sometimes you hear men, sensible men, too, say, T'm going to vote for Wilson this year because he kept us out of war"
 Ask such men short question. Ask them, "Out of what warT'
 Did Mir. Wilson keep us out of the European war? No. He has himself in formal address to congress spoken of the European war as "a war with which we have nothing to do, a war whose causes do not touch us." How could MT. Wilson keep us out of war with which we have nothing to do and whose causes do not touch us?
 Did he keep the rest of the western hemisphere out of the European war? No Independent nation on this side of the world is involved in it; the only people in it are the colonies of Euro pean powers and they had no voice in their fate, for they were automatically at war when their mother governments went to war. Who kept Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Peru, out of the Euro pean war? Did MT. Wilson2
 Did MT. Wilson keep us out of war with Mexico? No. In his term more Americans have been killed by Mexi- cans and more American property has been destroyed by Mexicans than by Spaniards during the whole Spanish war. In his term we have seized Mexican port and have sent our entire regular army and militia to fight Mexi- cans. In his term Mexican armed forces have invaded American soil and fought battles against our people with in our boundaries.
 President Taft went through two Mexican revolutions during his term, the revolution against Diaz and the revolution against Madero. American lives were safe fin Mexico during that time. No Mexican cities were seized by Americans and no armed Mexicans invaded the United States while MT. Taft was fin the White House. Yet Mir Taft never thought of asking the American people to vote for him be- cause he kept us out of war with Mex leo. He put an embargo on arms so that American weapons would not be sent across the boundary, and he re- fused to interfere fin Mexican affairs. When he left office Mexicans liked Americans, and Americans were safe in Mexico. Since he left office Mexi- cans hate Americans and Americans dare not remain in Mexico. Did Mfr. Wilson keep us out of war with Mexi- co? Not if words mean anything.
 Mir. Wilson did not keep us out of the European war, and he did not keep us out of war with Mexico.
 Out of what war. then? Detroit Free Press.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Strategy

My wife's pet dog is lost, and promised to advertise for it."
 "Well, why don't you do it?"
 "The trouble is, I can't make up my mind which paper would be least likely to bring results. I don't want the dog back, and yet I've got to keep my promise"
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Discovered

She feared her hubby might be mad Because she'd bought dress And hid it---but he found it out,
 He saw it in the press.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Not By Far.

"It is remarkable to what extremes the women go in dress"
 "Yes, but the dresses don't go to the extremities as much as they used to-"
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Lucky.

LUCKY.
 My cousin is to be married on the thirteenth of next month." "On the thirteenth? I should think she would be afraid of such an unlucky date"
 Evidently you have never seen my cousin. Any day would be lucky day for her to get married"
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
Abe Martin, he says:

Abe Martin, he says:
 Tell Binkley has traded fer run about as it cost too much fer sody an cigars t run his tourin' car. Next t listening t tn minutes of previous meetin' ther haint nothin' as dull as bein' neutral.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
BANK STATEMENT

Report Of the condition of The Arizona central Bank at Flagstan, in the State U155 ,a,e ,an,eeizona' at the close of business Sept.
 RESOURCES.
The Coconino sun., 1916-09-22
EMERSON SCHOOL HAS
 RECORD ENROLMENT

The first month of school at the Emerson shows an enrolment of 319, ac follourc.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Betty

1t was raining, but in a large
house in the nursery, sat two pref
ty girls around a small teatable.
A cake with II candles on it, a
plate of dainty CONNECTIONS and ice
cream were on the table. Who else
could it be but June and Betty?
We'll" said June, next month
we will celebrate your birthday this
way"
Yes, isn't it fun?" said Betty,
but l am sorry Richard would not
come"
$50 am ], but mother needed
him."
We'll" said Betty, you have
been longer than 20 minutes, hadn't
you better have a nurse put you to
bed?"
II suppose so, but it does seem
awful to be too weak to walk" an
swered June, looking over her pre-
sents.
The nurse soon had June in bed,
and Betty sat by her sewing, June
went to sleep, for she was still very
weak.
When June was hurt Betty
would have it no other way but to
have June in her home while she
was ill.
June's mother knew she would
receive better care than at home.
Hilda Blomeyer, 7th Grade
St. Johns School
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Describes League

On Thursday evening I had the
pleasure of attending the meeting
of the st. Johns Luther League
At this meeting new officers we're
elected. The retiring officers gave
a treat which consisted of ice cream
and cake and other good things to
eat. An interesting playlet was
given by MIR. and Mrs. and Roland
Zimmerman, and a vocal solo by
Ray Duning. Miss Hofheing read
a paper on w. E. Gladstone. l en-
joyed the meeting very much and
l think everybody else did.
GARTHE PILGRIM
st. Johns School, grade z.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Real Orphan
Sees Drama

Last week the real Orphant An
ME was in Indianapolis, and she
was brought there to see herself
acted on the stage. At the English
Theatre they are playing new RI
ley play called, IAN Old Sweetheart
Of Nine" and in it Little Orphant
Annie finally turns out to be the
daughter Of the Raggedy Man. So
the first night of the play the man.
ager OF the theatre went all the
way down to Greenfield and begged
her to come up to Indianapolis and
see herself"
The real Little Orphant Annie is
now Mrs. Mary Gray. She says
she did live with the Riley's and
and earned her board and keep"
by washing the cups and saucers
up, Just as the poem says, and she
told stories about gobble-uns be-
cause she was afraid to stay out in
the kitchen by herself when it was
night, and Riley children would
stay with her when she told scary
stories. She had a temper, too.
Jim Riley was was a little older
than Little Orphant Annie, but he
liked her stories just the same, and
remembered most all of them. She
said that she loved the Riley's, too,
and was mighty happy there.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Forty Miles

Sunday afternoon some of our
friends and we were going for a
ride around College Corner, Cam
den and Eaton. We started fine,
our car taking the lead. l was in
my friends car. We were staying
about a half mile back of the other.
At a cross road about eight miles
from Richmond we saw our car
and a bunch Of other cars stopped.
When we drove up we found that
our car had been bumped. We
quickly got out and found that an
other car had done the damage.
Two men were racing and one got
ahead of the other and whizzed
around the car as they were stop
ping on account of a bridge being
out. The second skidded in the
ditch but on account of the terrific
speed is was travelling, it plunged
over, hitting our car square on the
left side Of the back, smashing the
fender, the tire and knocking the
wheel to pieces.
The mans spring that had bump
into us, was sticking in the car, and
they had time getting it out. The
man who bumped into us said him.
self that he was going forty miles
an hour. He was very nice about
it, and he said he would settle. We
fixed the car SO it went home on
it's own power.
WILLIAM ROMEY,
Vale School
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Julius--Giants

Hundreds of years ago there was
a prince who was very strong, and
his father made him go with the
shepherds.
One day he came to an old lady
who was trying to get some giants
to let her go. This made julius
very angry to think that giant
would do such a thing to an old
lady. He sprang upon the giants
and cut off their heads.
At once the old lady changed to
a beautiful princess, then they fell
in love and were married in her
fathers palace, where they lived
very happily ever after.
~ RALPH KENNEDY,
Grade 6, Economy School
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Brothers

Harry and James, brothers, were
in their room for a little recreation
after supper. Harry hit James on
the head with stick. An argument
followed, and the nurse just hap
pened in with the news it was time
for bed. Then she told James to
forgive Harry because he might
die in the night. James paused,
and after few minutes had
elapsed he said. well, I'll forgive
him tonight, but if / don't die he'd
better look out In the morning"
CECIL MORRIS RUBY
Starr School.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
To Tell Age

This clever trick by which you
can tell the month and year of a
persons birth will startle you and
many Of your friends. Tell your
friend to put down the number Of
the month In which he was born,
multiply it by two, then add FIVE,
multiply by fifty, add his age, SUBJ
stract three hudred and sixty-five
and then add one hudred and fiji
teen.
The two figures to the right will
tell you his age, the remainder will
be the number of the month he was
born in, for example: if the total is
six fifteen, he is fifteen years old
and was born in June.
Paul Campbell
Starr School
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
Boy Scouts Go
to Economy

At five minutes after six, the
Richmond Boy Scouts met at the
Y. M. G. A. to 90 to Economy and
help boost the Boy Scouts there.
But because of certain difficulties
which arose, only one machine was
procured, and five scouts and
Mr.. Brammer went, with Mr.. Keis-
ker driving. They arrived in Econ
omy at ten minutes of seven, and
upon arriving were surprised to see
20 scouts in the field with six large
camp fires and big council fire in
the middle.
On command of the Scout mas
ter. the boys gathered around the
fire, and 1t was very impressive
scene. They called on Mr.. Keisker
for talk, then Mr.. Brammer and
Kenneth Dollins. After this differ
ent speeches were made by the
Economy Scoutmaster and the AS
sistant ScOutmaster also.
Then the Economy Scouts lined
up and gave drills, after which all
the boys marched to the base ball
diamond. Here they had a clear
view of the surrounding country
which was very impressive in the
moonlight. Each Scout felt that he
could march against any enemy for
1t was warm and balmy evening.
Next they had horse and rider
battle, and after this a chicken
fight. In the finals of both the
Richmond boy was overthrow by
an Economy boy.
After this the boys went back to
their machine. On the way home
they sang songs. They got home
about ten-thirty, and after arriving
home each one felt that he had
thoroughly enjoyed the evening.
EARL KEISKER.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-10-14
The Bony Hand

The bullet struck at the wrist and
made an ugly hole from which
blood flowed freely. Almost in
stantly the hand disappeared, and
we heard "a low groan. That was all.
"That was human" said Fat.
III wager there's a humbug to
this"
Same here" said l, but not with
whole heart.
Go get your gum" said Fat. l
went over and picked 1t up, find
ing that no harm had been done.
Il guess I'll shoot again." said
Fat. "Now that l see this humbug
is a farce, I'll have some fun"
Don't" l said, you may need
your shots after while.''
Lets walk over to that door,
said Fat, and to my surprise there
was doorway visible. We walked
over to it, stumbling over some
thing like sheet of cloth.
Fat, see this?" / asked pointing
to the cloth, and lifting it up
found that the other side was paint
ed like ground scenes.
Curly, l believe if we search
this room we can find a lots better
place for escape"
We hunted and found FIVE diff
ferent doors leading away from the
room we were in.
Lets try some of 'em," said Fat,
so we did and the first seemed easy
co open. 1t led into what seemed to
be a torture room, for it had bones
hung up all around Fat took one
in his hand, but accidently drop
ped it. 1t broke easily, and upon
examining farther, we found that
it only was made of plaster of paris.
More fake" he said. 81 could al
most swear for the scare it gave me
at first. I'll bet a days rations
that whole kaboodle is farce
comedy, played on us"
ut takes brains to do and make
a thing like this" l said to Fat,
opening another door which led to
stairway. Mechanically ] climb
ed these stairs, and Fat followed
me. At the top was a long hallway.
Still watching for the bony hand
and feeling that awful sensation, /
looked around. To the left l not
iced door, and for some unknown
reason, l knocked. Then l jumped
about two feet when l heard voice
say come in"
We entered, and there was little
old man.
Take Seats" he said, y shall
-onl x-O.,r aid marianne ~
Ito be ContinuedD