The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-01-13
Tales of the Town

: find an honest man. Use looking
glass.
n When people say, "How are your
{ they probably don't give a durn how
you are.
!, Il 1t requires bigger person to over
look fault than it requires merely
to locate one.
For revised list of those who are
suffering with grip, refer to the last
county directory.
IL fed mustard seed to my hens"
remarked Old Bill Misgivens, "and
they are laying mustard plasters.'
1t is harder to find good candi-
dates for president nowadays because
so few people are being born in log
cabins.
When President Wilson feels like
swearing he says, "tut tut" Old Bill
Mispivens tried it, and says it is like
drinking near beer.
81 should be perfectly satisfied with
that car" confessed an Emmett man
the other day, "if it didn't jolt my
false teeth out so often"
A schoolboy explained why nau-
teal mile is one-seventh longer than
mile on land by saying that things
always swell in the water.
No doubt there are number of sur
geons in the British army who would
be glad to operate on the kaiser's boil,
particularly if it is on his neck.
Every day or two one reads of an
other more or less important person. c
age quitting the peace party. AS the !
Chicago Tribune puts it, zone by one
the nuts are falling" |
= = o
The kaiser is now reported to be
suffering from boil. But every ca
amity, like cloud, has it's silver
lining The kaiser hasn't any time
% waste sitting down anyway. :
4 Z 4
A misfortune that would amount @
o almost public calamity would be b
f Sam Mcmillan should lose his voice y
ONE time while calling" for dance. St
Now is when Sonnyboy stands
round patiently, waiting for father to
.et through telling about what mar
e he used to be with the skates he .
on with heel plates and Fl
heck reins. t.
"John," said the teacher, "Can you y
ell me how iron was first discovered? p ..
Yes, sir "Well, tell the class what
our information is on that point"
heard father say yesterday that
hey smelt it." 81
just to keep something going on
lese winter evenings we submit this :,
roblem: Browns age reversed is q,
Is wife's age. The difference in their II
Hes is twice the age of their child. %
he child's age is one-tenth its moth fc
rs age What are the ages of the
rown's7
We once knew an eccentric man who h,
ade practice of going to bed with ca
hop pillow under his head and an be
arm clock on stand by his bedside. x
he hop pillow was to make him hop a
1t Of bed early in the morning, but tn
e do not now recall what the alarm W
ock was for. "a
ey
A man who was about to propose =
the pastor of his intended -
ife. 81 fear,v said the clergyman,
no had more than a passing knowl-
ge of the woman's dominant dispo-
ton, "that your union would not be
happy one" "Why, isn't she
hristian?" asked the man. "Oh,
s, indeed, but the Lord puts up
TIL lot of people that you and
can't"
Little Nelly told little Anita what
e termed "little fib" And then
e following conversation took
ace: Anita-a fib is the same as a L
Dry and story is the same as a -
. Nelly-No, it's not. Anita-Yes,
is, because my father said so, and
= father is Sunday school teacher.
slly-I don't care if he is. My faith
is real estate man and he knows
're about lying than your father.
Z
The big dinner was nearly over. The