davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
UNKNOWN OCEAN FLOORS

that northern part of the Pacific which has been explored there is a tract twice as large as the United States that has 'bten crossed by only single line or soundings at intervals 250 miles wide.
 The greatest known ocean depth Is in the Pacific, off the Island of Guam. The water there is six miles deep.
 We think the pressure is great on steam boiler when it reaches 200 or 300 pounds to the square inch, but down in those ocean depths it Is six tons to the square inch and instruments to be made to withstand that pressure The water down there is as cold, almost, as ice. There is no motion except slow moving current, and dead calm reigns. No vegetation can grow there. ana there would be utter darkness except for the phosphorescent glow shed by tho fishes and various forms of animal life; ocean has been found too deep for fishts and various forms of animal life; but they are not like any fishes we see near the surface; they have grotesque shapes and they art always dead when brought up.
 It will cost great deal to chart tho ocean floors. for it often takes ID hours to reel up five or six miles Of piano wire with sounding devices at the end: but it will have to be done, just as the poles had to reached. Mans in- ouisitiveness. his thirst for knowl- edge. will not stop short of finding out what is at the bottom of every section of the worlds oceans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
To Be No Changes I'm the Cabinet

1T T is not often that President en- 8 ters upon second term without making one or two changes in his cabinet, but Mir. Wilson will ask none of his official family to resign and, according to authentic information coming from the White House, none will resign.
 Shortly after the election, when it was definitely ascertained that the democratic ticket had been victorious, the alert Washington correspondents began to announce changes that gos- sip vouched for as being on the slate. Secretary of State Lansing, Secretary of the Interior Lane and Secretary of Labor Wilson were the only members of the cabinet who would remain in office after the fourth of March, so rumor said.
 Josephus Daniels, who had been mercilessly assailed by the republican press and consistently ridiculed by certain free lance weeklies, was to give up the navy portfolio and resume his editorial work in Raleigh. Despite a general statement made by. the Presi- dent that so far as he knew there would be no vacancy in the cabinet, the rumor that Daniels was ito go" was kept alive until very recently, when positive denial came from the White House. Then the rumor that Secretary Baker was to give up the war portfolio and return to the prac- tive of law in Cleveland was revived only to be denied with emphasis. Cos sip next had it as an unquestionable
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
ssTdol of Framce' Is SwnnIanted

General Joe whom enthusiastic correspondents have led to believe the idol of France has been suppanted by General Nivee commander chief the western front General Nivee called Zone of the wars revelations + he lives up to his biographies he will indeed be marvel
 The decline of General Jofres fame surely for wide spread regret What has been going in French military ces s of impossible determine, but the dissatsfac ton shown in England regarding the conduct of the has apparently been felt quite strongly in France.
 Perhaps General Joffre laid himself open criticism by be- ing unwilling unable to strike hard and fast His policy has been to extent waiting and public sentiment in France has grown resve Yet he be admirable man, many respects Surely other leader France uni versaly beloved
 This has dmmed the of many leaders among the statesmen diplomats and soldiers General Joffre will doubtless continue to be inspiration to his counrymen he is marked who failed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14

From the Kansas City Star.
 HE land surface of the globe has
 been pretty thoroughly explored
 S and mapped, but as yet we know little of that part of the earth forming the ocean floors. When it is realized that the Pacific ocean alone is larger in area than all the land sur face of the world and that there are number of tracts in that one ocean larger than the United States that are entirely unfathomed by man, we see how much we have yet to do before the earth's land surface can be definite ly charted. Then there Is the great Southern ocean, a vast belt of water around the earth, and south of that again the Antarctic ocean belting the earth, too, and these have scarcely been sounded at all.
 The ocean floor is going to be ex- plored and mapped. At a recent meet ing of the National Academy of Sciences in Washington, Prof. William M. Davis of Harvard university, pro- posed that this be begun systematical- ly with a survey of the Pacific that may take 20 years to finish, and his proposal met with unanimous approval.
 It will be a tremendous undertaking for the Pacific is 1850 miles from north to south and $500 miles if we go south to the Antarctic circle. It is 10,300 n,iles wide at it's widest place, and, as Professor Davis pointed out, evtn in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14

From Army Hospital Trains" in the
 American Review of Reviews for De-
 cember, 19l6
 YN OR several months there have been IN approximately 15O.0oo troops on the S Mexican border, most of them pe- ing militiamen. Thanks to the tireless efforts of the medical officers-with vac cination against typhoid and other measures of prevention-the sick rate m the border camps has been extremeiy low. But experience had shown that the medical department should be prepared 10 care for at least per cent of the com mand during mobilization and concentra- tion. and 10 per cent during active cam paign.
 Each mobilization camp was imme- diately furnished by the medical depart ment of the army with a camp hospltai for the care and treatment of the militia men who might require such attention.
 Hospitals of 15o beds were established at Mercedes, McAllen. Llano Grande' La redo Eagle Pass, Del Rio. Maria, Doug las and Deming Gin Texas, Arizona and 
 New Mexico). Hospitals having capac- ity of from $50 to 500 patients were es- tahlished at Brownsville and Nogales. Larger base hospitals (about 750 beds each, were located at San Antonio and Fl Paso.
 The trivial cases, or those requiring only short periods of convalescence are cared for in the camp hospitals. the more serious cases being transferred to the base hospitals. A certain percentage of the latter need to be transferred. to a more invigorating climate and pleasant surroundings. For this reason-and also because 1t is very important to keep the hospitals at the front evacuated SO that in case of emergency they will be pre- pared to take patients up to their full capacity-a hospital train consisting of 10 Pullman cars was designed and con- cago, and sent to the border in August. Patients are carried short distances along the border by motor and animal drawn ambulances. All long distance trips are made by hospital train. This i train is also designed to carry the sick l from border hospitals to the large gen eral army hospitals located at Wash | ington, D. C., Hot Springs, Ark, and San Francisco.
 I The hospital train is commanded by
 Maj. Howard Bailey, medical corps ! United States army, and has a person
 nel of three medical officers. 25 hospita
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
JUST AN ACCIDENT

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Two boys had indulged in physical en- counter on the playground. At the end of the affray they were summoned before the teacher to give an account of their mis- deeds. One of them had a bloody nose. The teacher looked upon this sanguinary feature with horror, and endeavored to instill in it's inflictor certain pacific prin- ciples.
 Now, Billy" she said. q think you ought to apologize to Jimmie"
 Hugh! I ain't a-goin' to apologize for no accident" Billy answered.
 Accident? Why, Billy, how can you call it an accident? Didn't you intend to hit Jimmie on the nose?"
 NO, nom, didn't. I swung fer his eye, an missed!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
Motion Picture Patrons

Motiom Picture Patrons
 Want No Semsationalisun MMoTIoN picture exhibitors in e3 0VU of the largest cities ot the United States reported to the national board of review that their patrons did not care for unclean pictures. AS a result the board has announced that in the future mo picture will be passed that is concerned wholly with the commercialized theme of white slavery or which is so advertised as to give the impression that it IS a lurid white slave picture"
 Saws the New York Herald: "This is the answer to the busybodies who are attacking one of the greatest forms of innocent amusement in the coun- try"
 Any unprejudiced observer would have reached .he same conclusion. The "white slave" pictures, with their crude "expose" of vice, in majority of cases all carefully staged before hand, attracted only limited num- Der of motion picture patrons. Even their appeal to prurient minds is no longer effective, and therefore profit able, because white slavery" as a theme for dramas, both on the stage and on the screen, has become tire some.
 The agitation in Birmingham has leen carried to an extreme. The crude ly sensational picture has long since lost its drawing power. The public de- mands something better and more worth while. No legalzed censorship could be fair and impartial and none could be so effective as the best ele- ment of picture patrons who by the weight of their approval or disap- proval can ward off whatever danger there may be to public morals in mo- ton pictures.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

And maybe the man is not bragging about his town because he is a civic boos- ter. Maybe he has real estate to sell.
 Don't expect too much support from your friends. If they give three cheers to your cause they imagine that they have done their share to support it.
 You can keep a vice president quiet in this country. But it is different with all ex-President.
 What has become of the old-fashioned bad boy who used to whistle: Where Did You Get that Hat?" when you went down street wearing a new tile?
 Most of the self made men give you the impression that they knocked off work before the job was completed.
 It is a mean thing to say. But it is a fact that the man who operate on the theory that other men are suckers usually has more money than the man who gives other people credit for having good sense.
 Some fellows are so busy planning for the future that they overlook the present.
 There are moments when a married man wonders why his wife puts in all her time trying to be disagreeable.
 If mother happens to buy one of the kids a pair of shoes with fancy Doo-das $ and Dornicks on them and pays s2 for In6m when SIle COulQ IlaVo ButlcIl u pldill pair for $175. father will commence to in dignate about the fool way mother wastes his money. And then mother will tel father that if he was as careful with his money when he is out with his drunken friends as he is with it when she spends any of it, the children would be well dressed like other children and not going around barefooted and ragged. And then father will slam the door and beat 1t.
 Sometimes 1t takes man a whole life time to discover that they can make il faster than he can drink it.
 We will stand for a lot of political bunk But we draw the line when they tell us that the tariff on eggs is what makes henberries so expensive.
 A broken friendship and a broker china cup never amount to much aftel they have been repaired.
 About the time he begins to realize tha he has signed up a contract to let 2 woman boss him for an indefinite period the honeymoon dies q sudden death.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
Keen Diplomacy

Won Bethmann-H -Hollweg, the imperial chancellor of Germany, has demonstrated that he is one of the worlds greatest diplomats said Commissioner James Weatherly yesterday. T am of the opin- ion that the allies will pay no attention to the overtures of the German govern ment for peace The French and British papers are vehement in their assertions that it is the work of a man who wishes to arouse the sympathy>of the neutrals.
 Regardless of the outcome of the offer of Germany of peace, it cannot be denied that the document purported to have been drawn up by Won Bethmann- Hollweg is a rare specimen of keen diplomacy. It seems as if the European war was just commencing. I should like to see 1t cease tomorrow, but personally. hold out little hope for the endi1E of it before another year or two has elapsed"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
ALABAMA PRESS

Anniston Star: Mighty few people are worrying about the advanced cost or Palm Beach suits just now.
 Montgomery Journal: Alabama would like to have about 2O,OOO or more north ern farmers to come down here and help to build up our waste places, and, incl dentally, teach the balance of us how to farm.
 Gadsden Journal: While Birmingham citizens are seeking a change from com mission government to the old aldersnanic form, some of Huntsville's new officials under the recently adopted aldermanic system are resigning.
 Gadsden Times-N News: For the sake of accuracy, fairness and common courtesy we hope the Birmingham papers will quit referring to our steel mills as being in Alabama City and near Gadsden. All or the mills are entirely within the corporate limits of Gadsden and have been so since their establishment.
 Piedmont Journal: We are going to risk being turned out of the church on the charge of lying by telling of an incident which we saw the other day: It was citizen going along the street, unarmed and unprotected with half a dollars worth of sugar in one hand and dozen of eggs in the other. Seems unreason- able, doesn't 1t?
 Tuscaloosa News: The reorganization of the West Alabama Pine Lumbermen's as- sociation about two months ago will probably mean more for lumber inter ests of this section than anything that has been done in this important indus try for years The object of the organi- zation is to have an experienced man look after such matters as the proper distri- button of cars, freight rates and proper settlement of claims for each member of the association, and to plan ways and means of bettering conditions in the lum- Der industry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
BUSINESS METHODS
From Life

From Life.
 An elderly lady entered shop and asked to be shown some tablecloths. The salesman brought pile and showed them to her, but she said she had seen these elsewhere-nothing suited her.
 Haven't you something new?" she asked.
 The clerk then brought another pile and showed them to her.
 These are the newest patterns" he said. You will notice that the edge runs right around the border and the center is in the middle"
 Isn't that lovelyl" said the lady. Il will take half dozen of those"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
Not Much Profit

there is not much money to be made in the cafe business said Miss Jenny Wal ters. However, have my regular cus- toners. who always come. and I am managing to make expenses. There isn't much profit to be made, but it is gratify- Ing to make a living, when the cost of living is so high. We can only hope that times will get better. and foodstuffs will drop as rapidly as they have risen. And I think we should be thankful to come out even, with conditions like they are."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
HARD TO ENDURE


 My dear,'' said the sick man, If should die. don't let that irrepressible wag, Shooters, be one of the pallbear- ers." "oh, don't talk about dying, Henry" answered the fearful woman. But I must. The idea of Shooters keeping the other pallbearers chuckling all the way out to the cemetery and back to town gets on my nerves"
 LOOKING AHEAD we are advised to do away with the rear collar button.'
 What do you think of that schemey' q suspect it's a deep laid plot to re- vive the sport shirt next summer"
 TOUGH LUCK Hiram Shucker says a chap tried to sell him a skyscraper while he was up to the city last week"
 Did Hiram fall fur that?" Nope. But he fell in coal hole while he was loolin' the durned thing over"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14

BEGINNING THE DAY-"O Fire that art never quenched, kfndle my affections! 0 Soul of righteousness that never settest-never art cloud ed. shine in my heart! How swee, Is Thy warmth! How secret anu pleas ant Thy cheerful light! Aet me ever be infiamed with Thy oivlhe' Thy delightful beamsH'-AuSustihe
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
THE SONNET

By Dante Gabriel Rossetti. A sonnet is a moments monument Memorial from the Souls eternity To one dear deathless hour. Look that
 it be, t vbather for lustral rite or dire portent. Of its own arduous fulness reverent: Carve it in ivory or in ebony, As Day or Night may rule; and let Time
 see It's Towering crest impearled and orient. A Sonnet is coin; it's face reveals The soul-its converse, to what Power
 'tis due Whether for tribute to the august appeals Of Life. or dover in Loves high retinue, If serve; or, mid the dark wharfs caver-
 nous breath, In Charons palm to pay the toll te
 Death.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
ADRIF7T WITH THE TIMES

BLESS THEM' A man I love Is William Waite, He never types T beg to state" I'm also fond Of lazy Wise, He never diets We would advise" -J. M. J., In the Coming Tower. The man I love Is Robert Rand, He never writes Your note at hand" I'm also fond Of Harry Hill, He never types Enclosed find bill.''
 Boston Globe. Our heart beats for One Clarence Peck, Who scribbles off Enclosed find check"
 -Pittsburg Post. We much admire Augustus Reeve, Who never says, I've got you, Steve"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
Related News

'The medium that furnishes you with the real news is a country newspaper" said L. Sevier, general agent for the Southern railroad. The other day l happened to glance through little Mis- sissippi paper and found some news of the election, which, being so old, led me to investigate the Dscapitulation more closely.
 This is how it told the outcome Of the presidential race. The following re- equalization of the vote in the presiden- tial election Is:
 'Wilson--1.'
 'Marshall-1-2'
 'Hughes-0-2-1.'
 Fairbanks-0-2-1-2'
 Now, figure that out, and you will get the correct information"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
A HINT TO HENRY

From the Boston Transcript.
 If Henry Ford is sincere in wanting to do the greatest good to the greatest num- Der. he will put another spring under the back seat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
PECULIARIrIEs OF GENIUS

From the Toronto Globe.
 The late Sir w. S. Gilbert of Savoy opera fame, met Liebling, the pianist. and the following interchange of cour- tesies occurred between them:
 Liebling was introduced to Gilbert, and Gilbert said:
 Sir, I have heard Liszt-"
 Liebling bowed his head in acknowledg- nent at what he supposed was the com ing compliment.
 .I have heard Henry Hertz" continued Gilbert. Lisbling bowed still lower. have heard Paderewski." Liebling made a genuflexion even unto the ground.
 Well. ST." continued Gilbert, in abrupt tones, mot one of them-not one of them, sir. perspired as profusely as you dor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
ABOUT NOW

ABOUT NOW Christmas season, That's the reason.
 Shoppers everywhere; Some are happy, Some are snappy-
 Overcome by care. What a hustle And tussle,
 On the selfsame questi Presents buying Till they're signing For a chance to rest. Hurly-burly Shoppers early
 Mingle with the late; Wildly ranging, Gifts exchanging Iris their luckless fate. Things selected When inspected,
 Pshaw, they'll never do!
 There's no staying, Iris dismaying-
 They must start anew.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
AMERICAN HOSPITAL TRAIN

corps men, and seven female nurses. It was designed jointly by Maj. Percy L. Jones of the medical corps and Mir. Phlager, supervising constructor of the Pullman shops.
 This train is entirely different from those used during the Spanish war, which were standard Pullman cars prac- tically without modification. To load those cars it. was necessary to detach each one from the train and pass the litter patients in through the end, the side doors being too narrow.
 The 10 cars which make up the hos pital train are regular Pullman cars with necessary alterations and additional equipment. The first is a kitchen car; the second and ninth are for patients not confined to their beds; the third. fourth, sixth and seventh cars are for litter cases: the fifth has operating and recov- cry rooms the eighth has recovery and baggage rooms; while the tenth and last car has sleeping accommodations for doctors, nurses and attendants. The to- tai capacity of the train is 76 bed cases and 120 patients not confined to beds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
PROGRESS

"Just out, old pal?' Yep. I wuz in quad up to week ago."
 "How much wuz yer bit?"
 T did five years an learned a new trade.''
 Coin ter reform, eh?'
 Nav. I'm goin' ter quit second-story work an be a counterfeiter."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
Prick as Paer0m
 of MlusIca Age

6H HE steady progress that is being
 U made in musical art in this country is due in large measure to the benefactions of a few wealthy citizens. It has not been many years since the symphony orchestra was a rare institution. Although symphony concerts were attended by large audi ences the orchestra had struggling existence until rich music lovers came forward to make good the deficits. There are now dozen or more great orchestras in the United States and most of them have been literally endowed
 The latest benefaction for the ad- vancement of art is tat of Henry c.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14

NOT WORTH MENTIONING Tommy, you've been fighting again." 'Td hardly call 1t that, ma But I saw you through the window. You struck that little Githers boy" An knocked i'm out the first lick. It takes two scrappers to make fight. ma"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14
IN DOUBT

'Do your views on public questions meet with your wife's favor?''
 I've never been able to find out" an- swered MT. Twobble. Whenever voice an opinion my wife merely huns a lit tie tune don't know whether she does that to express disapproval or merely to show that she isn't listening and doesn't intend to-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-14

Anniston Star: Mighty few people are worrying about the advanced cost or Palm Beach suits just now.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1916-12-07
A ROYAL
WELCOME

The business interests of st. Paul
have just begun to realize the i'm
portance of the cooperative move
ment among the farmers in the North
west, and nearly every business con-
Germ in st. Paul is planning on Civ
ing the farmers a royal welcome when
they come down for this years con-
vention. Dec. 5, 6, and 7. Many of the
firms are sending out letters in adj
vance asking the farmers to make
their headquarters at their places of
business and all will do their share to-
wards making the farmers feel that
st. Paul appreciates the fact that they
are going to make it the center of their
business activities.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1916-12-07
HOW'S THIS?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re-
ward for any case of Catarrh that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o,
We, the undersigned, have known
F. J. Cheney, for the last Is years, and
believe him perfectly honorable in all
business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made
by this firm.
NATIONAL BANK OF COMMERCE,
Toledo, y.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter
nally, acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces Of the system
Try Halls Family Pills for consti-
patton.
Testimonials sent free. Price rs cents
per bottle. Sold by all Druggists.