Denver labor bulletin., 1916-12-02


eide what to make of him His father
wanted him to go to law school, and
his mother wanted him to study for
the ministry and become missionary,
while his Uncle John thought he ought
to take up medicine.
What did they finally decidei"
They didn't decide anything The
boy just drifted into the hay and feed
business"
A SwINDLE.
A young Italian who hasn't been long
in this country wants something severe
done to people who don't do as they
advertise to do. He says he saw a sign
in n street car:
Buy o'Flannsgan's rubber heels so
cents attached"
SO he won't and bought n pair, but
there was no half dollar attached, and
he believes he has been swindled
GLITTERING POSSIBILITY.
Professor" said the reporter, you
have read, / presume. what Edison or
somebody says about the feasibility Of
extracting gold in paying quantities
from the dirt in the streets"
May I ask you what you think Of
the idea y"
Well" said the professor, 'ft seern.
TO me highly probably that IL can b.
done. Speaking a. a taxpayer I know
that We sink all kinds of money in our
streets.-Chicago Tribune
HIS MOVE.
II was standing pcaceably on the cor.
n"r, not bothering anybody, when a big
husky cop came up and told me 20
move on"
And YOU were just fool enough to do
1t. | suppose. Don't YOU know that YOU
had perfect right TO stand there a,
long ms You pleased'"
oh. yes; / know that, hut was
afraid the cop didn't know H."
TOO SEVERE.
AZ ono time Toe jefferson was ror-
suaded 10 accompany n friend to n now
production The piece in itsolf proved
to be inferior. and the comedians wcrc,
even moro 50. On their way out the
friend remarked that tho comedians
seemed nervous
What they need is life" he concluded.
You're too severe" said tho gentle
hearted Jefferson. his grave face con.
would be enough New York Times
WITH THE ALLOWANCES
II happened at a little town in Ohio.
A visiting fastener stood on Tho veran.
dn Of little hotel there watching Tho
sun 90 down in splcndor Of purple
and gold.
by Gcorgcl" he exclaimed 10 m i'm.
passive native lounping agninst n rost
hats gorgeous sunset, isn't fti-
The native slnnted his head n little
and looked critically at tho glowing
west.
Not bad" he drawlcd. Not bad for
little place like Hoopville e"-E1chanr
THRIFTY.
u is said that Scottish humor "a nm
electric spark that flies back and forth
between the two extremes Of whisky
nnd religion. But the following oncc.
dotc is Scottish without touching either
extreme:
A wife was asked by her hrshnnl
what kind Of n bonnet she would like
him tn bring her frnc Glasgow. and she
replied;
''wocl. yc'd bcst make II s.rnw bun.
mt jock and when I'm done wi IL
III iced 1t to the coo."-Chicago Herald.
WHO WAS IT?
The kind"rgnrtcn had been studyinr
inc wind all wecI-its power. effects,
c'c.-until the subject had bccn pretty
Wen exhausted TO s.imulnte interest,
,ne kinderRartencr snid, in her most en-
thusiastic manner;
Children. as I came to school to.Irv
in tho trolley cnr thc foor o,o,,ol -,
something came softly in and kissed mo
on the check. What do YOU think IL
wasf' ' -
And the children joyfully nnsworcd
The conductorl"-Hnrpcr's Magazine.
POSITIVE PROOF.
Two Scottish soldiers on their wav 10
france passed thru London recently IL
was their first experience Of tho 'bip
village, and they were naturally keen.
ing their eyes open.
Their wntcbfulness wns, however NOT
sharp enough to avoid taxi in tho
vlcin'ty OF Victoria station. and one of
them got knocked over.
AZ he picked himself up, none tho
worse for his fall his mate prowlcd.
Mcbbc yc'1 believe it's buster than
kirkintilloch noo."-rit- Bits.
A GREAT INVENTION.
mnglebatz-A scientist has invented
what he calls muck raw" mnchino
want.
Sniclselfritz-What Is its object,
Dlnglcbatz-1t will enable the pcople
to see how candidate can spcnd
$1,000 In getting himself elected TO n