The Washington herald., 1916-01-03
The Gods Must Laugh.

nietnod OF warfare WaBed oy tne cehtrdi emPires
that is contrary to international law and viola
ton OF the dictates of decency and humanity. And
for the seventh time, without doubt, we shall
take medicine. accept whatever shadowy ex-
plantations or apologies the perpetrators of these
outrages choose to extend and cheerfully settle
down and wait for it ali to happen again.
Mr. Barrett told our Iatin-American friends
that Europe is hostile to us. That is not alto
gether true Some only of the European nations
are hostile to US. All despise u.s. But,they do not
despise the Latin-American peoples because there
is not one of them, however weak which would
play the poltroon as the United States has done,
which would not have long ago struck. feeble as
might be the blow, for the rights of its citizens
and the lives of its women and children The oc-
easions have not been few when American men
and women have been compelled to pass them
selves off English or Germans in order to save
themselves fro minsults and DEATH But there flies
not in all the hemispheres flag so meaningless
or dishonored that those citizens whose emblem it
is have been compelled to seek more adequate
protection under the stars and stripes.
To some extent it is our sense of dignity that
is weak We have always felt that dignity was a
thing too closely associated with monocles and
Roman-nosed aristocracies to be of value in DEM
ocratic community. For that we have al
ways been highly susceptible to inquiries that could
be translated into terms of dollars and cents,
responsive to those which involved only the loss
of self-respeet. But still more is our sense of
humor responsible for our international troubles
And that is strange for we have always prided
eIv teep If rid
lous, particularly in those realms-the comic strip
for example-in which the heaping of physical or
other indignties on some familiar victim is ex-
plotted in the fullest degree 1t is strange that
race which in the last decade has developed per-
feet genius for depicting all the most delicate
nuances of slapstick comedy should have been so
utterly unable in real life to grasp similar exhibi
ton in which Austria Germany, the case
might be, held the stick and Uncle Sam got the
resounding slaps. The way in which received
the last Ancona note is an extraordinary example
of this peculiarity of ours. The note is replete
with covert sneers. 1t states in roundabout
language that the United States had best say little
about humanity because inhumanly refused to
stop the shipment of arms to the allies. 1t states
that the commander of the submarine "has been
punished" obviously untruth. 1t then proceeds
to justify the acts of the said commander, merely
giving the for this punishment" the fact
that he did not take account of the panic aboard
the Ancona. 1t does not state that he pun
ished for torpedoing the ship while there were pas
sengers still on board. 1t admits in general way
that ship should not be torpedoed until the pas
sengers have been removed and then proceeds to
argue that if through panic or misbehavior of the
ri fter
time as the submarine commander has given them
to get off or if another ship happens to heave in
sight while they are in act OF taking to the boats
then the immediate destruction of the ship and
those on board is justi6able. After arguing thus
the note adds that while the United States really
has no proof emitting it to demand indemnity
for all of its slain citizens, still, money is ap-
parently important to us, the Austrian government
out Of the goodness of its heart will pay for the
lot.
At this note, argumentative and evasive in sub
stance and impudent in tone, the American news
papers rushed like gudgeons, crying "Our honor
is avenged! The incident is closed! Nice kind
Austrial etc, etc" 1t sickening. True, only
few of the papers published the actual text of
the note, the majority being content with the
RESUME" which explained that Austria had Sub
rnitted" to terms. And for that reason it is
not fair 70 the American people to say that they
swallowed the note in the same spirit as did their
organs of enlightenment Yet it is difficult to
believe that the attitude of the newspapers in the
matter was not that Of the readers whose tcmpera-
ment they so well understand.
And now comes Austria's real answer to our
just demands, in urging which we long ago ex-
hausted all the possibilities of language indicative
of ferocious determination. This time there was
no warning. Had there been the Persia might
have attempted to escape and that would have
given opening for escape, too. A ship was
selected carrying plenty of women and children,
practically cargo and munitions of any kind.
And by way of making it harder an officer of the
United States government was drowned
What shalt w. do about II, To send op. s;roIe