Mansfield mirror. (Mansfield, Wright County, Mo.) 1908-1957, 1916-10-12
FINNECAN's PHILOSOPHY
Pitiiess Publicity.

whats to come to 'Pitiless Publicity
Meself could tell him. Where's Pitt
less Publicity"T says Hughes. In the
Ash Cam says !. Twas all right on
the stump. but In Washin'ton It's
differ. The Harp that wanst through
TrentOn's halls'-l name Tumulty.
Whin he bursts into song now he picks
his chune! 81
""Tis not that PrisidInt Wilson Is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pitIless. IT'S like the show
man. He tells ye all. an more. about
tn illyfant. but he has mintal res'va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 It Is wild Wilson. He's sOf'ned
the hard heart Nv 'Pltiless Publicity
How about the P%Ostmasters?' <
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell ye.'
says the C'mishun. For why? says
the League. 'T'wtd embar'ss tn Ad-
ministhrashun,' says the C'mishun.
And the people laughs. 'Ye fired tn
Hid " the Cinsus.' says Hughes. 'Ye
lie.' says Redfeld. He raysined wild
out bein' axed.' says he. We lie yer.
SELF says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an We sev me place to q
politician says Durand. 'Ixac'ly fwhat
l said yells Pink Whlskers. 1 was
goin' to fire We anyway. but l niver
axed ye to raysine.' says Pinky. An
the people rOars.
"'reIl us about all thin Dlshurvin'
Dimmycruts,' says the people. An
Washin'ton Is sweep be u storm "
silence.
But doan't We think there's no pub
LEFTY at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet. too.
"'We'l grab some land In Vinzu-
eely,'' says the Ambassydure.
'tem'prily,' says he. 'Yell not says
Teddy. yen agree to arbltrate.' says
he, or he says. in tin days Dewey'M
be there says Teddy.
".Me lyle Masther will niver con-
sint,' says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, III sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin'.' Teddy says. How'd
EN- say the Ambassydure. We
agree says he,-an' dlvil IL bit did We
know how 1t was for a dozen year.
''We'iI have Ferdy Carey alive, or
the Eashi BuzoOk dead says Teddy,
an back cOmes Ferdy. An the papers
says ON demand Nv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
How Is 1t now? The g~reasers
slaughtered twinty at Sanity Isabel. An
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines. 'Twinty Americans killed. they
says. The Prisidint Calm says they.
'Ates Bacon aud Eggs. Plays Goluf,'
says the headlines. An the paper
goes on:
1.-The P%risidiht's appytite at break
fast was good. tn leader " the na-
shun gettin' outside iv' grape fruit.
bacon AN eggs. hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin DOcther Grays0n announced the
bill " fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
".TlIe Prisidint Is sOlvin' In privacy
the Hateful question, "Will me throat
Iast:" The answer is waited wild few
erish anxiety
'NOHdah. the papers says 'Nashun-
al Disaster! Sore Throat Feared. Pan
ic al the Capital. The Prisidint Calm.
Consideration was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisidlnt awOke with a sore throat.
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There Is
talk Nv appintin' a day " prayer. 1t
Is hoped that Senior Arre-ye-On-thOugh
will claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ixicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but remark
"Av they'd not been there they'd not
w been kilt"
"Choosdah. they says, Hope revives
|. No ssre throat. Bitten by insect,
E'risldint calm. All Phrases " Mat
Their 10 he considered.
1.-THE anxiety in The Capital was re.
laved today be the fOllowin' bulletin
"'"The Prisidint has a slight per
foratiOn In the cuticle over the lnfery'
ure maximnry caused by Il insect bitin
him whin asleep. The patient was toe
proud to scratch. (Signed) GraysOn.'
alt Is repurted also that GineraI
Scott will Z" to The border 10 bury tn.
dead. aud apologize to the Insurgents
He will axe CarranZy, whether he wut
accept II loan II offered. This is con
sIdered the lhrue sutton " the diff
Guilty.
''Winsdnh the Prlsidint goes motor
in. ThurSdah he writes d note ant
Gineral Scott starts for The border
Fridah the headlines says Peace IL
Europe near. Prisidint Studyin' terms
WIN he stop the war? Another note
expected. Capital eXcited over report.
But we're comfOrted be bein' ,tOwlt
the Prisidint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah. he's cOnsiderin' tn Ar
menyan question. an MOndah he ad
vises GrandmOthers about suckln
eggs. And another crisis Is past.
$50 II goes ivry day. As l was say
In, there's a'plenty publicity, but ii:
not the brand Nv 1912"