The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-02-27

toned the name of MT. strayer as a probable candidate of the Gridiron club. Then one member said:
 MT. Strayer. you had better assume the duties of president before the col- onel finds you unavailable"
 MT Strayer-"I am already on the job
 A Member" Subject to the approval of the colonel, I give reluctant con- sent to the inauguration of this gen. tleman. But I wish to place myself on record as saying that I will never con sent to the inauguration of Elihu Root as President of the United States
 HAVE SONG FOR MIR. KOO
 The procession marched out to the tune of "There'll Be 8 Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight singing these lines:
 From the Chinese nation old
 Comes a man across the sea,
 Though the merest youth in years,
 Still he knows diplomacy.
 Yes, we're sure you will agree
 That he knows diplomacy.
 "Mr Roo, oh, MT Koo,
 From the Orient
 We are glad to
 Welcome you
 To the Occident
 We remember, MT. Wu,
 With his merry jest,
 And they say
 You're just as gay
 MT. Koo."
 This was sung to introduce the new Chinese minister, Mir. Roo, who in his talk kept the diners merry with his quips and jests.
 REVISE MAY PHASES
 The Gridiron committee on revision of the Glossary of the American Lam guage and Preparation of an Up-to- Date Dictionary of Phrases and Fables submitted the following for approval:
 ADMIRALs-Noun-F Formerly a naval officer of the highest ranlS-contempora- neously a person whose power of speech has been paralyzed by executive order. COMMON COUNCII1-A democratic de Lucrative body which produces advice which nobody accepts.
 CONGRESS national legislative body. "Gress'' from the Latin "gradior" and "con'' from the American 'con,' meaning 'con."
 REsIGN-Verb-To quit For instance, Secretary Redfeld will not resign.
 JUDICIAL TEMPERAMENT-F Former ly a term used to describe the mental  scriptive of Louis D. Brandeis.
 NEUTRALITY-When nation has a dozen enemies instead of one, it is called neutrality
 PEACE MEETING The American sporting Substitute for @ Mexican bull fight
 JINGo-Noun-on who would rather fight than eat
 PACIFIST-One who would rather eat than fight
 TARIFF-Synonym for trouble.
 TARIFF FOR REVENUE ONLY Synonym for deficit.
 PREPAREDNESS two cock tails before deliving a speech in Congress on prohibition.
 DEMOCRATIC HOUSE LEADER-One who does the administration a good turn by opposing everything it wants
 PEACE AT ANY PRICE.-What Gar rison got by resigning.
 PERPETUAL MOTION-The wheels in Gussie Gardner's head Many more phrases and idioms were submitted, but the above gives and idea of the scope of the committees research.
 MIR. COCO IS HEARD
 MT. President shouted a member of the club q take pleasure in introduc- ing MT Gogg, member of Congress from nowhere MT Gogg spoke in favor of prohibition in the Philippines, the Dis trict of Columbia, in fact everywhere the people had no vote. A boise was heard outside and an expressman entered with two demijohns. calling for MT. Gogg.
 Which MT. Gogg do you want?" asked that gentleman.
 MT. Demigog," answered the express man.
 Vice President Marshall +esa stores and O1a0a 9llnSiOnS n tr11p Gridiron style.
 Just before the terrapin was served and while the plates were being changed a member of the club attired like Colonel Roosevelt just after bis morning hike. After taking several cups of tea the colcnel looked over the front pages of several dailies, but found nothing in teresting and threw them away in dis guest. He finally reached one whose editorial page, which is the back page, seemed to please him and his smile broadened. He then went through the motions of swinging Indian clubs, dumb bells, the manual of arms, bayonet exer- cises, etc, in pantomime After violent punchingbag exercise. he drew an im aginary ring on the floor, threw his hat into the ring and assumed a heroic pose.
 POLITICAL SKETCHES
 The most ambitious of several SkeCcneS presented Dy the cup was the political one. Scrambles to make trains, strange travelling companions and ticket complexities that confound ed the railway gatemen offered extra ordinary opportunities for funmaking Passing through the Chicago gate were regular and progressive repub- licans, characters representing former Senators Burton and Beveridge, for mer Vice President Fairbanks, Sena- tors Sherman, Borah Cummins, Weeks and Penrose, Representative Cannon, former President Roosevelt,