The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1916-05-11
visor, who stopped short, facing the


Average Jones.
Exactly. Lucius Livius, son Of
Marcus Praenestinus."
Are you the representative OF this
rather peculiar person, may askf"
"No, I'm not Mr.. Livius' representa-
tive. I'm in and of the department Of
Latin of Johns Hopkins university.
Name, Warren. Sit down"
Thanks" said the other. Name,
Jones. Profession. advertising advisor.
Object, curiosity"
"a. ". r. e. Jones; better known as
Average Jones, believer"
"Experto crede! Being dog-Latin for
You seem to know all about It," The
newcomer eyed his yis-a-vis. Perhaps
you--er-know Mr.. Robert Bertram,"
he drawled.
"Oculus-the eye-tauri-of the bull.
Bulls eye!" said the freckled one. with
a grin. I'D heard Of your exploits
through Bertram, and thought prob
ably you'd follow the bait contained in
my letter to him."
Now that I'm here, where is L.
Livius And-so-forth?"
Elegantly but uncomfortably housed
with Col. Ridgway~ Graeme in his an
cestral barrack on Carteret street"
"Is this Colonel Graeme a friend of
yours?" {
Friend and foe, tried and true. We
meet twice a week, usually at his
house, to squabble over his method of
Latin pronunciation and his construc-
ton of the ablative absolute" said
Warren with q scowl, "fit to fetch Tao
titus bowling from the shades"
"A scholar, them"
"A very fine and finished scholar,
though q faddist of the rankest type.
Speaks Latin as readily as he does
English"
ANY family7"
mo. Lives with two ancient col
ored servants who look after him"
How did our friend from B. G.
connect up with him?"
ooh, he ran to the old colonel like a
chick to it's hen. You see, there
aren't so very many Latinists In town
during the hot weather. Perhaps
eighteen or twenty in all came from
about here and from Washington to
see the prodigy in the Park Of the
Boar, after the advertisement appear
ed. He wouldn't have anything to do
with any Of us. Then came the colonel
and fairly grabbed him. So sent for
you-in my artless professional way"
why such enthusiasm on the part
Of Colonel Graeme?"
Simple enough. Livius spoke Latin
with an accent which bore out the old
boys contention. ! believe they also
agreed on the ablative absolute"
"Yes-er-naturally," drawled Aver
speak pretty ready Latin?"
Hes fairly fluent. Sometimes he
stuEahles little on his constructions,
and he's apt to be-well-monkish-
rather than classical, when in full
course"
Doesn't wear the toga viriIis, sup
pcse."
ooh, no. Plain American clothes
It's only his inner man that's Roman,
of course. He met with bump on the
head-this is his story, and he's got
the scar to show for it-and when he
care to, he'd lost ground couple of
thousand years and returned to his
former existence"
Nov as to Colonel Graeme; has he
ever published?"
Eyes. Two small pamphlets, issued
by the Classicist Press, which pub
fishes the Classical Weekly"
Supporting his fads, suppose"
Fright. He devoted one pamphlet to
EACH"
See here, Professor Warren: I'm a
passionate devotee of the Latin
tongue. have my deep and dark sus-
picions of our present modes Of pro-
nunciation, all three Of 'em. AS for
the ablative absolute, its reconstruc-
ton and regeneration have been the
inspiring principle of my studious man
hood. Humbly have sat at the feet
OF Learning, enshrined in the Ridgway
Graeme pamphlets. / must meet
Colonel Graeme- after reading the
pamphlets. hope they're not long"
Warren frowned. Colonel Graeme
Is a gentleman and my friend, Mr..
Jones" he said with emphasis. Il won't
have him made butt"
"He shan't be, by me-" said Average
Tones o1liatly "Has II perhans struck
you, as his friend, that-er-a close
daily association with the psychic rem
nant of a Roman citizen might conceiv-
ably be nonconducive to his best in
terest?"
yes, it has. I see your point. You
want to approach him on his weak
side. But, have you Latin enough to
sustain the part?"
mo, / haven't" admitted Average
Jones. Therefore, I'm mute. A
shock in early childhood paralyzed my
centers of gpeech. I talk to YOU by