davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williams news., 1916-06-01
EVENING TALE l1
MIR. LIZARDS BIRTHDAY PARTY.
by NARY GRAHAM BONNER

"It was MT. Lizards birthday. and he was to have a birthday party They had all been invited. All the other lizards, the newts and the snails. And, perhaps, the very best of all, the fairies had been invited, for they are great friends of MT. Lizard and his family.
 They had invited the snails to come at ten o'clock in the morning, and all the rest of the guests to come at three in the afternoon. For, you take so long to get ready and crawl to the party that they would invite them ahead of time. They told the other guests to explain to the snails the little trick they were playing on them.
 50, just at three every single guest arrived
 "'What, are we on time? asked one of the snails.
 "'No,' laughed MT Lizard, you're just five hours late. But you see we really wanted you and we knew that was the only way to get you here by three o'clock
 'The snails all laughed, for after all, though it was certainly not much of a compliment to their power of being on time, still it showed the lizards wanted them.
 "It was a splendid party. They had races and dances and games. But best of all was the supper. It consisted of moss-green ice cream, silver spring water, evergreen salad, and buttercup soup. They ate it all backwards for the lizards are not at all fussy about manners you know-so they started with ice cream and ended off with soup!
 'But best of all they had cake, and brought in on a chariot which was drawn by four little lizards and it was made of all the delicacies of the woods and had four sprigs of vine hung from little sticks which meant that MT. Liz ard was four months old!
 They begin birthday parties when they are very young in the Lizard world, and you would have laughed had you heard MT. Lizard say to the little lizards who were still younger:
 Hurry up and invite the raindrops to come for the birthday cake for they keep me young and am growing old so quickly!'
 Down fell the little raindrops then and as they dropped very softly the
Williams news., 1916-06-01
CLEVER TRICK WITH FIGURES
Method of Telling Which Hand Apple or Other Object Is Held in Be-
 hind Ones Back.

Which hand?" is a common way of allotting apples or tasks, when the hands are held behind, and the choice is made by calling either the right or left. By an arithmetical trick you can do away with chance and secure the object you desire.
 Tell your friend to call the desired object three and the other one four. Then tell him to multiply the number of the object held concealed in the right hand by three and the one in the left hand by two. When he has se- cured this result, ask him to add the two results together and tell you whether the sum is an odd or an even number. If it be an odd one, the de- sired object will be in the right hand, if an even number, in the left hand The American Boy.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
CzzRZE DOQu0

One of the pig factors of a baseball team is to have some member who can get on the nerves of an opposing pitch CT or player and cause that particular star to forget he is in a baseball game. Charley Dooin is one of the most suc- eessful "goat getters" in the National league. Not only does he keep after opposing hurlers, but when he is catch ing he has had the swatter so en- grossed on framing a reply to some caustic remark that the third perfect strike slid by without being molested. One of the reasons for the downfall of Chief Meyers was because he was so susceptible to being ''kidded." Doo- in used to have the Indian riled all the time. When Joe Tinker was in the National league with the Reds, he had Meyers continually fighting and often McGraw would remove the red akin from the game.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

"So they call you chief do they? Well, think it should be changed to Cheese Meyers" parked Tinker from the bench one afternoon.
 Meyers dropped his bat and started for Tinker. McGraw started for Mey- CTS.
 "Doggone that Tinker. Remarks like that would make any man fight that had red blood in his veins,' shrieked Meyers.
 Red blood! Get out! You're vel low, not red" taunted back Tinker.
 With a whizz the bat flew from Mey- ers' hard and he followed it toward Tinker. Joe only started to laugh, as players and umpires rushed between him and the angry redskin. Meyers had made two singles that day that scored runs, but he was banished from the game for his display of temper and the substitute batter struck out.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Labor,s Share of the erofit.

Income-tax returns prove that the welEto-do are earning more money than ever before. Reports of railroads and industrial companies show that they are earning on the average larger profits than they ever earned in the past. The general advance in wages all over this country, emphasized by United States Steel's announcement of another increase involving 15,000.- 900, proves also that the American workingman is getting more money in his pay envelopesthan was ever put in it in any previous year. Every com modity. or at least every essential one, is higher in price, and so the entire land has been lifted upon a plane hitherto untouched. Big profits, big wages and big prices go hand in hand.
 When prices are high commodities ap- pear to be scarce, and when wages are higher labor is least plentiful. Today there is genuine dearth of labor in the United States, which contrasts with endless lines at soup kitchens and two millions idle few years ago.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
DEL DRAKE IS UNFORTUNATE
Former Detroit Tiger, Sent Back Be- cause Too Young, Finally Let Go
 Because Too Old.

About the most unfortunate mortal in baseball is Del Drake, who had two or three trials with the Tigers, and who was handed the pleasant task of trying to pry Cobb, Crawford, McIn- tyre or Jones out of his job. Del never seems to be the right age. Detroit kept sending him back because he didn't have enough experience, which is one way of saying that he was too young. Now it is reported that Mem. phis, which took him when the St. Louis Feds passed him up, has let him go because he's too old.
 Somewhere between there must have been right age for Drake. But 1t did him no good, unless it was to land him two seasons with the inde. pendents at a better salary than he ever got in organized ball. His ascribed reason for hurdling was that O. B.-which in his case meant the Detroit club-never had given him a fai; deal. Nobody wanted him when the war ended, and he probably will Class B it from now on.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
EXCITING FLAG RACE
None More Promising Than Pres
 ent in American League.
Six Almost Certain Contenders for Championship in Opinion Of Pres ident Ban Johnson-CIeveIand
 Is Doubtful.

lEy BAN B. JOHNSON. President of the
 American League.)
 With the baseball season of 1916 in full bloom, enthusiasm in Uncle Sam's s great national game is everywhere ap- parent. This enthusiasm furnishes a striking contrast to the period imme- diately preceding the campaigns of 1914 and 1915.
 It is needless for me to refer to the distressing conditions under which the game labored in the last two years, for these are still fresh in the minds of every fan. Suffice it to say, that the situation having been clarified during the winter months, baseball is again due for a period of prosperity which I hope will equal. if not sur pass, those wonderfully prosperous seasons of 1912 and 1913.
 Believing in the doctrine of pre- paredness, the American league club owners have their teams on edge and eager for the fray, as the result of long training seasons under southern skies. We have had many exciting races for our pennants, but I cannot recall one which was more promising than that which is now upon us.
 Boston, Chicago, Detroit, New York. Washington and St. Louis are, from my point of view, almost certain con- tenders for the right to get into the world series next October. Cleveland, an unknown quantity at present, may develop enough speed and stamina to
 Ivy, rl iv,- teresting for the others.
 The Cleveland club is in the hands of the new owners this year-men of
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Democratic Riaht to Be Proud.

Much has been said of the federal reserve system as a constructive act of legislation. But all that has been said of it in this character as a fact for peace is outdone in what is now said of it as fact for war by i'm partial observers at distance and speaking in the light of the greatest cataclysm ever known to the world.
 There has been no political maxim in this country more arrogantly ex- plotted by it's formulators than that the Republican is the party of con. struction and the Democratic the party of destruction. But the fact remains that this greatest act of legislative construction in over fifty years is the work of the so-called party of destruc. tion-a work achieved in the nick of time against the insistent neglect of the so-called party of construction.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

thirteenth state in the Union in per centage of surfaced roads. Three states, Ohio, Indiana and New York, contain nearly one-third of all the sur faced roads in the United States, with a mileage of 77,544.
 New York has spent $82,63S,729 on it's roads and is spending $15,000,000 more on them in 1915. This, it should be understood, is the amount spent by the state government and does not in- clude the huge expenditures by local units.-Clemson College Bulletin.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
SOUTH CAROLINA ROAD COST
State Is Far Behind Most Others in Amount Spent for improvement
 of It's Highways.

There are now only four states in the Union that have not enacted laws providing for state aid for good roads work. One of these states is South Carolina, the others being Indiana, Mississippi. and Texas. These three other states, however, are above South Carolina in expenditures for road work. Indeed, according to informa- tion which has been received at Clem- son college from the United States department of agriculture, this state cannot boast of it's record in road work and is considerably behind most of the other states of the Union in this respect.
 In 1914, South Carolina spent $1,- 900, 900 on road work, this money com ing from local funds of counties, town ships, and districts. There were no expenditures by the state and local units jointly, or by the state alone. In the same period, Indiana spent $13.- 25S,761 and Iowa spent $11, ,363, 3,000. Nor does South Carolina compare well As against this states $1,000,000, North Carolina spent $3,930,000. Geor- gia, $2,500,000; Alabama, $2,795 ,000; Mississippi, $2,S55.000; Tennessee, $2,5O0,O00; Texas, $3,750,000. In fact. the only states on the list which are not above South Carolina in road ex- penditures are the undeveloped states of Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, Utah, and Wyoming; and the diminu- tive commonwealths of Delaware, Rhode Island, and Vermont.
 The total of all surfaced roads in South Carolina is 4,SSS miles. In this respect, the state compares favorably with many, since it's percentage of surfaced roads is 17.3, making it the
Williams news., 1916-06-01
RECITAL 0F RUIN
That Is, According to Republican
 Argument.
New York World Points Out How Standpat Organs Have Brought Disaster on Their Cause by
 Persistent Foolish Claims.

If it was not for the European war the country by this time would be in- dustrlally in ruins because of the Un- derwood-Simmons tariff act. If you do not believe it, go back and see how imports were overwhelming us in the first year of this act. which ended just before the war broke out-the fiscal year 1915"
 This daily chant of the standpat or sans apparently moved the senate awhile ago to address to the depart ment Of commerce resolution of in- quiry which Secretary Redfield now responds to. And the damning fact Is admitted that imports in 1914 under the said tariff were 4.5 per cent larger than in 1913 under the Payne Aldrich tariff. Dutiable imports were actually less, but free imports, chief ly of materials for our factories, were larger.
 This is bad, but a worse tale of ruin remains to be told. It relates to the first year of the prior Payne-Al- drich standpat tariff and is proved in precisely the same way In that first year imports increased 1Ss per cent over the previous year.
 Therefore 1t is shown by accepted standpat rules of evidence that four times more ruin was produced by the Payne-Aldrich tariff in it's first year than by the Underwood Simmons tariff in it's first year.-New York World.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
VIOLIN REMEDIES SORE ARM
Dickinson College Player Resains Use of Wing by Constant Practice on
 Musical instrument.

Attrfbuting his comeback" as a pitcher to playing a violin, Fred Good hart of Dickinson college baseball nine, is for the first time since the summer of 1910 in good physical shape. His arm is without any trace of the sore ness which handicapped him for six seasons.
 Goodhart, until 1910, had been mak- ing a record when his right arm de- veloped a lameness which massaging and the usual remedies could not re- lieye. He quit baseball and entered Dickinson college. In 1915 Goodhart was able to twirl one game-that against BucknelI-which he won. His arm was so lame afterward that he was dropped from the squad.
 During the past winter Goodhart, in his spare time, has been playing a violin with local orchestra, which required much practicing. He fully believes that in the extended arm mo ton required in playing lies the secret Of his recovery.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
"What, Arc We on Timer"

lizards all began to crawl about in twos, threes and fours, which is their way of dancing. Suddenly they missed the little fairies.
 ''But just at that moment back came the fairies in a beautiful airboat, just exactly like a rainbow, and through the raindrops MT. Sun peeped in too.
 Then the little lizards were the happiest creatures you can imagine, and as for MT. Lizard, who was cele- brating his birthday, his joy was be- yond all description. He even made a speech to all b's guests and to his surprise guests the rainbow and MT. Sun.
 Everyone was very happy and the snails were so glad they had been told to come ahead of time so they wouldn't miss anything!"
Williams news., 1916-06-01
GOOD ROADS QUITE POPULAR
Spirit of Building Is Becoming UnE versaI-All People Would Re
 ceive Some Benefit.

The United States Good Roads as soeiation at itsrecent annual meeting in Birmingham elected 25 prominent citizens of different sections of our country life members of the organiza- tion. The spirit of building good only a question of a very short time when the federal government will see the necessity of appropriating money to build good roads. All people would be benefited by good roads. War bene- fits no country or people. It destroys lives, business, homes and brutalizes people.-F1orence (Ala.) Herald.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

brains and push and money. The question of expense will not enter into their calculations if they can strengthen their team and make 1t a factor in the championship race.
 Another one of our clubs also changed hands during the winter-St Louis. The manager of this club is none other than Fielder Jones, who led the White Sox to the worlds cham. pionship in 1906. Jones, when in the American league, always showed re. markable ability in handling team, suits out of his men, That's why ] think the St. Louis team, with Jones as it's pilot, should be rated as a pos sible pennant contender
 As for Connie Mack, he is still en- gagged in the arduous task of rebuild ing his Athletics, but Connie, wizard that he is, can hardly hope to figure seriously in the race of 1916. But, at that, he may surprise us.
 In conclusion, I wish to say that with normal conditions in the base ball world restored, major and minor league club owners, the country over, face the future with feeling of con- fidence-a feeling that the grand old game has come back, and that the fans are now ready and anxious to support it as enthusiastically as they did in the days of its greatest pros perity
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Surely a Call for Wilson.

It is no time to put demagogue in the presidential office. It is no time to put logomachist there. The hour Is rude hour. The circumstances of the situation are realities that will crush all that is artificial. We want no artificiality, no humbug. The need is for naked strength. American man. hood stripped of all shams, the habit of thought that is sure and silent, as all strong things are.-Providence Tribune.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Republicans Have No Issue.

The Democrats are enacting a great constructive program, and dealing with great problems cautiously and with good results as rule. The people are realizing that in critical time like this it would be hazardous to trust the Republican party, and there is not one pledge that they can make in sin cerity that the people would be justi- fled in considering seriously.
 The Republican party has no issue.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
DIAMOND NOTES

Manager McGraw has sent eight rockies to the bushes.
 Jack Dalton, veteran outfielder, has been signed by the Reds.
 Little Mel Wolfgang will be one of the mainstays of the Sox pitching staff this year.
 Connie Mack has been disappointed over the showing of his pitching staff so far this spring
 With Gandil and Speaker, the h. dians will be very different team for pitchers to face this summer.
 Manager Callahan of the Pirates says he will carry two southpaws this year. Kantlehner will be one.
 Billy Smith of the Richmond Inter- nationals may keep George Kircher just to amuse the fans, if nothing else.
 One of the sweetest notes in the symphony of spring is the crack of the home stars bat on the nose of the ball.
 Having once worked at the plumb ing trade, James J. Callahan allows the pennant race is "pipe" for the Pirates.
 Heilman, who plays first base for the Tigers, is native son of Califor- mia and played with the San Francis co Seals last year.
 Connie Mack has refused to enter into an agreement with George Stal- lings to play another exhibition series in Florida next spring.
 
 In view of the fact that the Giants wear sporting caps which make them resemble railway engineers, why not label them the Casey Joneses?
 
 It looks very much as if Griffith had picked up mighty handy man in Charity, who is not only a good catcher but can hit and is fast on his feet
 Larry Miller, the young Brooklyn | outfelder, is a son of Sebastian Mil Ter, the famous professional strong | man. Larry is a chip of the old | block.
 | Fighters always have the edge on ball players when called upon for the festive alibi. They can look to a bone whereas it's different with the ball players. l Ray" Morgan of Washington is playing the best ball of his career Morgan will fill the second base DO sition to perfection if he attends te business.
 Statistics prove that the old-fash toned umpire who used to let tn. crowds crack pop bottles on his heat
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Easy to See coIoneI's Aims.

The colonel declares that the pro tective tariff must not be the Repub- lican issue. The reason is plain. On that issue some other man might be nominated But of heroism and the nations soul" the colonel has snug little monopoly.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Forgot Father Was Present.

Forgot Father Was Present. Johnny-Yop're the meanest, hate fullest, spitefulest thing I know.'- Tommy-And you're the crabbedest, ugliest-
 Father-Boys, boys! You forget that your father Is in the room.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Roads Built by convicts.

One thousand miles of perfect road way have been constructed by Colo rado convicts in the past seven years. At first armed guards were used, but during the second summer the honor system was introduced and it is still in vogue.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

ess with the stick since the opening of the season.
 He was .317 batter with Salt Lake City last year and he has been living up to his record.
 Gedeon has the cut of a real ball player and a lot of good judges will miss their guess if he does not develop into star in the American league.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
JOE GIDEON PROMISES WELL
Second Stacker of New York Yanks Showing Great Prowess With
 Stick-Expected to Star.

A young player who is figured to do some good work during the present baseball season is Joe Gedeon, second baseman of the New York Americans. Gedeon has been showing great prow-
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Country Is Not Complaining.

Of course nothing Is ever done right under a Democratic president, and yet the country gets along extraordinarily we'll. It is better of than any other country in the world,
Williams news., 1916-06-01
The Only Righteous Man.

We suppose Colonel Roosevelt loves this country as much as could be ex- pected, considering the number of liars, scoundrels and all-round male factors he regards 1t to contain.- Houston Post.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

Good Roaas in Philippines. The Philippines in the first half of 1915 built 136 miles of good roads.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Uniform Material.

It is important to have uniform ma terial in road building, whatever that material may be. This lack is respon- sible for waviness and chuck holes.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Build Better Roads

Every rain is an argument for the 365-day road.
Williams news., 1916-06-01
Neiahbors and Builders

Good roads are neighbor makers and trade builders.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

Food for the Stock. Good stock must have good food and plenty of it.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

Statistics prove that the old-fash. toned umpire who used to let the crowds crack pop bottles on his head is now as extinct as the dodo, emblem of pacifism.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

Ray Morgan of Washington is playing the best ball of his career. Morgan will fill the second base DO. sition to perfection if he attends to business.
Williams news., 1916-06-01

tEy BAN B. JOHNSON. President of the
 American League)
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1916-06-16
Reptile Almost Extinct.

The tuatara, or tuatera, is an al
most extinct lizardlike reptile (Sphe-
nodon punctatum), now found only on
certain rocky islets in the Bay Of Plen-
ty, northern New Zealand. 1t is Of
great scientific interest for the rea-
son that it is the only surviving rep
resentative Of the order of Prosauria,
or primitive reptiles, and is therefore
sort of living FOSSIL" 1t was form
erly hunted for food, but is now pro-
tected by law in New Zealand. The
American Museum Journal in which
the foregoing facts are recorded, said
that Of five living specimens of this
reptile which formed part Of the New
Zealand exhibit at the Panama Pa
cific exposition, two have been pre-
scented to the American museum OF
natural history. No living specimens
had been seen in this country prior to
the exposition.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1916-06-16
Dread the Truth,

The parrot cry for conversational
values that to day dominates the pop
ular mind in America is largely the
fear of commercialized society lest it
should be told unpleasant truths about
itself; lest the unpleasant gulf between
its own daily practice and its ideals
should be sounded by the artist. Sim
ilarly the Puritan's confused fear of
sensuous beauty, and his desperate
shutting Of the eyes to the interde-
pendence Of body and soul, of flesh
and spirit, is sign of his own weak
ness, Of his lack of truthfulness. In
such an atmosphere of makebelieve
there is and can be neither real art
nor real beauty, dominated as it is by
considerations Of utility and material
profit and Ideals" and divorced as it
is from mental sincerity and the beau
ty OF truth.-Edward Garrett in At
lantic.