davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
His Feat.

Henry did a regular automobile stunt in his attire when the warm spell camel"
 What was it?"
 He cut out his muff1er.'
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
The Only May.

, Redd-Were you ever tempted to go into a gambling joint and play rou iette?
 Greene-Yes.
 'But you couldn't beat it?" Well, I did beat it.''
 How"
 q beat 1t for home"
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31

It has been demonstrated that man can wear a smaller hat at 70 than he could at 20. With the advent of badness the swelling in his head goes down.
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
The Worlds Responsibilities.

Oh, some are in the motor car, A gay and careless load; And some must haul the rock and tar 10 renovate the road.
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
NeoIected conn,,+.+,o,

Neglected Computation. How do you account for the high cost of gasoline?"
 Haven't had time to think 1t over. Too busy hustling for the price of the gasoline"
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
ObeYinq Orders.

Whenever I see man playing golf during business hours, naturally con- clude that he has more time on h1s hands than he knows what to do with. B q beg to differ with you"
 'Well?"
 Sometimes he hes merely been frightened into taking a little exer' else by a fashionable doctor"
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
Baby has

"Oh! Jack, come quick! Baby has his toe in his mouthl"
 That's all right. Don't disturb him. He's practicing the toe hold"
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
Patriotic Deference.

Oh, many a citizen you'll see
 Preparing patiently to stand And hear a lengthy speech when he Would rather listen to the band.
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31
A Dialect.

That man observes all the rules of grammar and never uses slang,'' said one girl.
 Yes" replied the other. Hasn't he got the regular Boston dialect!"
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31

No can be happy unless he tries to make others happy
The copper era and Morenci leader., 1916-03-31

Clutch-I've got a rattling good car. Grippe-I see. But always patron ize the trolley line. They run good rattling cars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
County High Schools

Several counties of Alabama are now provided with high schools and the number will steadily increase. The Jefferson County High school being erected at Boyles, one of Bir- mingham's most populous suburbs, will be opened in September. It will supply a long felt need and will SUD- ply the requirements of Inglenook and Tarrant City, both new and rapidly growing communities.
 In several of the larger counties of the state two or three high schools should be established, and they will be in the course of time. Jefferson should have right now a high school in the western part of the county, and as soon as the great forward movement for more and better rural schools be- gins, as a result of the school tax amendment, it is reasonable to SUD- pose that at least two additional high schools will be built in this county.
 Assuming that the amendment will be ratified at the November election, two or three years will be required for it's provisions to be availed of, but among the friends of education the demand for better schools is so in- sistent that campaign for the special school tax will be pushed with enthu- siasm in all the more wide-awake counties, and that will mean improved conditions with as little delay as pos sible.
 In less than five years from now Alabama will be attracting attention not only as the best school state in the south but as one of the most up-to- date in the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
HUMBUG AS A FINE ART

, the defective, rush into the easiest way of attaining notoriety, which, for the cre- ators of this type, is just as good as if not preferable to reputation, and find it in the various 'fsms'' of art that assume anything perpetrated has meaning in pro- portion to the claim and not to the thing depicted.
 Hence the simple symbols that for thousands of years have become super saturated with meaning, through the ex- perience of the race, are thrown over board, and just as if it were decreed that
 in the future tears should stand as the symbol of merriment and laughter as the indication of sorrow, as indeed they may. be with the insane, it is settled by the advanced art crowd that any bit of folly in drawing, design and color shall mean all the profundities of life by the mere say so. Every one is supposed in tho presence of these masterpieces to cry out
 in ectasy before the limbered debris of d golf shed that, however, may be meant for Alice, the Duchess. the March Hare and the Mad Halter at a Tango" The humbug is so easy, the recipe so simple and so apparent that the perpetrators must laugh in their sleeves as they see puerile pretension taken for intensity and mud for meaning. But tits art" and the empty headed stare as shallow incapacity has it's day
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
From the Philade

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 "HE question of humbug as a fine art
 is very different thing from the
 A fine art of humbug, the distinction with the difference being real even if those not skilled in dialectics do not see it. For the fine art of humbug is as old as the hills and applies to any form of trickery that the human mind may in vent. but the elevation of humbug itself to the dignity of fine art is relatively modern, and is the outgrowth of that great desire to "express themselves" and not life, that has come over a certain group in the art world and has led to va garies which cross quite as often the borderland between the sound and the unsound as between naive sincerity and downright intentional imposture.
 The technique of painting and sculpture. the very psychology of emotional appre- is so little rasped by the average, and the twilight zone as to what art is seems so extended and so shadowy to most that humbug, if it wishes to assert itself usual opportunities. Hence the incapables who find all mediums difficult in which to express their inchoate ideas, or who believe there is ever the short cut to achievement through bold assertion, or whose view, of life is essentially that of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24

house" will be opened for inebriates with reasonable jag" and no rowdyism will be permitted by police who have been instructed to deal gent ly but firmly with patrons who need correction or assistance. Also it is probable that the contents of Coney's justly famous "hot dogs" will be more carefully looked into and an attempt will be made to educate the public up to calling them by more euphonious name.
 Just how the "sane" part of the programme will be carried out is not made clear, but there will be no in terference with the harmless pleas ures of the multitude. A folder recent ly issued advises: A
 "Watch the kid; copy him. Throw away the care and burden of years and get down to joyousness and an ambi- tion to get everything there is out of the possibilities at hand. The man or woman who brings frills or dignity of convention to Coney Island carries a handicap to pleasure"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
THAT ONE "vARMINT,

From the St. Louis Republic.
 We have taught the Siberian crab to live and flourish on our soil and Irish po- tatoes grew in Missouri before they did in Ireland, but these examples of success fully transplanted exotics must not be taken as proving too much.
 The Hungarian partridge and the Eng fish pheasant failed to thrive in Missouri. Our atmosphere is little too rich in No. shot for them, and maybe if this par ticular meteorological peculiarity of Mis- souri had not been in the way something else would have terminated MT. Toler- toms experiment in restocking our fields with game birds. Few birds have the adaptability of the English sparrow, but there are birds which are well adapted to all the conditions of the Missouri eli mate except the one just mentioned.
 Turkeys, ruffled grouse, prairie chick ems, bob whites. shore birds and ducks will give the hunter good shooting here if they have half chance. They are ready to meet all our extremes of tenn perature and rainfall. They can find a living here and make headway against hawks, owls, snakes, coonS, crows, mink. weasels and skunks, but there is one "varnint'' that is too much for any bird he cares to prey on. That is the "crit- ter'' that tnctures the air with lead Get him under control and Hungary may keep her cartridges.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
LONG BURROWS

By Eleanor Alexander. in the London
 Times. ss Gs- The blower blows with cruel blade Till furrows long and deep are laid: Rhythmic the spade and the mattock
 fall,
 Bruise and misuse, and wound and Earth, patient mother of us all. F'urrowed and plowed by shot and she'll Gripped in the trenches ice-cold flood Muscle and nerve and flesh and blood. One with all mortal pain and woe His grief on the cross-tree long ago. Flesh of our flesh. furrowed and torn By nail and lash, by lance and thorn. From the sore wounded Son of God Gentleness flowed and love divine; Earth brings forth from her broken
 sod,
 Bread for the eater. oil and wine The simple soldier, commonplace, Gives to the wondering world gleam From heaven upon his blinded face; Some fapture of the poets dream. By powerless limbs. and heart of might To dance with childhood's old delight: By radiant souls in sorrows night, Unlaureled conquerors that win Further than prince and paladin To courage for pains lonely ways Through all their muntilated days: By fruit of sacrifice we know; M By harvest's fateful flag unfurled. What life, what love. what graces
 grow
 From the long furrows of the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
Open Air Concerts

It is hoped that the Music Study Club of Birmingham, which has done so much to foster the best in tonal art, will be able to provide free band concerts this summer such as they have provided in past years.
 During several summers a band made up of local musicians played Tn Capitol park and gave unbounded de- light to throngs of men, women and children. In most cities the concert fund is supplied altogether by the mu- nicipal government, but in Blrmlng- ham the commission has been able to make only comparatively small dona- tions. The greater part of the money needed was contributed by corpora tions and public spirited citizens.
 Owing to the acute business depres sion prevailing last summer the Music Study club made no serious effort to raise band fund and consequently the free open air concerts went by default.
 It is estimated that 90 to 95 per cent of the people of all cities belong to the 'Can't-Get- Away" club, and the larger the city the more is expected in the way of innocent amusement and free cultural attractions. Park con- certs come first in this respect and the reputation of Birmingham suffers from civic point of view when such humanizing entertainments are miss ing.
 Tn New York band concerts have long been regarded as civic necessi- ties. In more recent years 1t has come to be so in all cities, small as well as large.
 It is believed that if the good women who constitute the executive board of the Music Study club would start an open air concert campaign within the next week or two ample funds would soon be in hand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
Auditorium an Asset

There are few things more needed in
 Birmingham than an auditorium" said
 H. M. Burt, one of the proprietors of
 the Hotel Florence "In Denver. where
 lived for a number of years the
 splendid auditorium. accommodating
 from 1b,00o to 10000 persons, proved one of the best assets of the city. It Is about six stories high, covering one block and the whole structure can
 be thrown open in one minute, having doors on all sides, similar to the Lyric theatre here.
 The auditorium has several balco- nies and the acoustics are fine. One can hear well in any part of the great assembly hall. The democratic con vention which nominated w. J. Bryan tested its capacity but it filled the bill As money making proposition it has
 proven a success. It is so arranged that theatre may be cut off seating
 as many as 5000 persons. There are also smaller halls when needed Den yer has had great wrestling bouts with world celebrities taking part. I have seen Frank Gotch, champion wrestler, in action when the great building was filled from pit to dome. Some of the largest gatherings of fraternal and civic bodies have been brought to Den yer by reason of it's great auditorium. have attended the Elks carnival, the Catholic bazaar, the automobile show, when thousands attended each day and night for week, all of which brought heavy revenue. Birmingham greatly needs an auditorium separate and dis tinct from all offices, courts or jails. A bond issue along these lines should carry"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
AT LAST
From the St. Louis Times.

From the St. Louis Times.
 Rene Viviani, minister of justice of the French cabinet, was asked for an expression concerning the Berlin peace talk. He gave one. Hear it:
 "The allies stand solid for finish fight. They intend to break Germany s heavy sword. This they owe to unborn generations"
 What? is this the light for which we have been waiting? Two years we wandered on ignorant of what this whole great war was for, and now from a frank Frenchman comes the honest answer to the interrogations of neutrals. Europe went to war for the benefit of generations yet unborn!
 There's humanity for you. Talk of the brotherhood of man! Rot. What's a mere fraternity of the living com pared to the allegiance of the living with those yet unborn? When the fel- lows in the trenches digest Viviani's s words, perhaps they'll step out. They'r re going through a pretty tough time of it for the benefit of generations which they are cutting in half in this very confiict-generatiOns which, if proper ly provided for, will be able to fight their own battles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
HOTEL LoBBIES
Rural Problems

''1'he Florence Normal school, through it's extension department, is striving hard to assist in solving the rural prob lems of Alabama" said pr. H. J. Will lingham, president of the institution, who was at the Hillman yesterday. "The economic possibilities of community or ganization in the rural districts and of cooperative marketing have been dis cussed for sometime and the extension department of the Florence Normal has tried to do some practical work along these lines.
 The workers have gone into the com munities in number of counties and of- fered their assistance, and their efforts have been warmly received in many sec ticns of Lauderdale, Colbert and Law renee counties already. One of the first things which has been taken up and one which has already borne fruit is the matter of cooperative marketing of but ter and eggs. This has been brought about through standardizing the products and then finding large consumers who would take these products from the clubs. The members of the clubs are now receiving from 50 per cent to 100 per cent more fo1 their products than before. and the consumers are paying no more than for merly The movement is spreading rap idly, and we are highly gratified with the results which have thus far attended the efforts of the extension workers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
Government Cots Missing

We have checked up on the cots bor- rowed from the war department for the reunion and find that Il of the 5000 are missing" said R. A. Brown, chairman of the reunion executive committee yes terday. ''I want to warn the people who have these cots that they must be re- turned at once. The mere possession Of government property, regardless of the manner in which it was acquired, is a penitentiary offense. I trust that the cots will be returned to us today, so there will be no unpleasantness about the matter. We will, of course, be forced to notify the government officials that these cots have passed from our posses sion into the hands of people who have no lawful title to them, and the govern ment will seize them if they can be found. I feel certain that they are in the hands of innocent people, and hope they will report the matter to us without delay"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
AN ANCIENT WHEEZE

From the Montgomery Advertiser. N The following editorial paragraph is from a well known southern newspaper
 An Indiana woman who dipped snuff loaded up regularly on gin and smoked a pipe necessarily has died at the age of 100. But for these deplorable and debili- tating vices there was more than an even chance that she would have lived to a ripe old age"
 The paragrapher was probably tired and anxious to get away to the ball game
 when he wrote that comment. To our personal knowledge that paragrapher has written virtually the same squib several times To our certain knowledged every newspaper in America, including the Ad- vertiser, has run that joke once a yeal during the life of this generation. We have often wondered if Solomon, the first Paragrapher, didn't run it first. The joke $ older than the newspaper industry profession. business or trade, or what ever one wishes to call It.. Who will be
 the next humorist to use 1t?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
swINDLER TRIPPED UP

New York Cor. P1ttsburg Dispatch.
 A smart swindler tried to put one over on one of the hotels here today, but he has another guess. If there is any one who is wise to the ways of the crooked ones, it is the hotel cashier. Today a box. with the tag of a department store marked Collect $4320' on the box, ad- dressed to one of the guests. Men who handle such business for big hotels have to be sharp, and those at the hotel mo- ticed that the messenger delivering this package did not wear the uniform of the store from which it was supposed to have been sent. The cashier paid the $43 20, but he instructed the house detective to follow the boy. The money was marked before it was handed over. The boy took tito the Grand Central station, where he met the guest The latter was imme- diatey arrested and the marked money taken from his pocket. Investigat ton disclosed that the guest had gone to the department store and there purchased for 70 cents large pasteboard box, which was delivered to him wrapped in paper and with a tag bearing the name of the store and the price, s.20. The price mark on the tag had been changed to $4320 be- fore the box, in which was the overcoat worn by the guest when he left the hotel. was sent to the hotel. The overcoat, though neat and newly pressed, was old and it's value for hypothecation as col lateral was placed at $1.2o.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
A "New" COney Island

Coney Island, one of the most famous playgrounds in America, was opened the other day for the season of 1916 with numerous bands and a long parade, but it is not the Coney of yesteryear. The business men who have made millions out of the resort have begun to realize their responsi- bilities. Today Coney Island has a community conscience, whatever that is, and henceforth will be sanitary, safe and sane"
 A Board of Trade has been or ganized, representing approximately $200,000, 1000, and composed of men some of whom went to the island with nothing and have piled up big for tunes, the largest estimated at $15,- GOO, ,00O. These men have decided that they have a duty to perform for the public which will in no way initiate against the pleasure-loving crowds, but will insure their safety and com fort.
 First of all no faking will be per- mitted. Transformation, indeed! The ingenuity of P. T. Barnum could never have conveived of all the fakes that have been perpetrated at Coney, but new order of things has come to pass. Not only will purveyors of amusement have to give what they advertise in exchange for the public's nickels and dimes, but all forms of swindling will be rigidly dealt with. The victim has but to make holler' and his case will be attended to. The Board of Trade will "exercise be- nevolent censorship, courteous but firm, over all that goes on in the show { places and business houses of the island" It will insist on fair dealing, and misrepresentation will not be tol- erated. So much for an aroused con- science among those who have proba- bly done more or less faking in their time, else where did their millions come from?
 Sanitation will have to do with more garbage cans and more rigid en- ! forcement of laws for health and cleanliness, while the sort of safety to be provided is as yet problematical. However. it is rumored tfat a "rest
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-24
THE MILLIONAIRE

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 1 In his address at the Camden banquet, | ex-Governor Stokes discussed the proph- ecy that Camden would soon become a
 billion-dolar city, a prophecy which it 1 seems safe to utter, and then he pointed out to his hearers what that amount of
 money means. In these days when we are busy giving away other peoples mill ! lions and holding whirlwind campaigns l for the benefit of benefactors and male 1 factors of great wealth, with the design I of separating them from as large a part as possible of their surplus accumulation, | it is well that we should pause to con- slider the significance of 10 figures with the dollar mark in front. Mir. Stokes l says that if Adam had worked every ! minute from the time of his birth until I now, remaining bachelor and taking no l time out for sickness or to witness a ball game, at the rate of a dollar a minute, | he would now have earned a billion dol lars.
 | Those who have become enormously rich have made other men and their own money work for them. Adam, at the head of syndicate, might have saved many centuries in achieving a billion. | Nobody knows just how rich MT. Rocke- feler is and MT. Carnegie has been; but MT. Rockefeller is probably almost a bil- lionaire MT. Carnegie at one time gave $1O0.O0O000 to the Carnegie corporation of New York, and he has managed to find enormous sums for many other philan- thropic enterprises. The income produc- ing funds of the Rockefeller foundation
 amount to $1Oo, 900. The mind cannot take the measure of such sums, which are only to be compared with the astron- omer's arithmetic. Most of us could be reasonably happy with Considerably less If it is hard work to accumulate hun dreds of millions, it is also no light labor to spend them. Those of us who mud dle along somehow with only a few mill lions have the consolation that we are spared the complex bookkeeping of the near millionaire. Somehow much of the happiness of the world has hardly bow ing acquaintance with the dollar mark