davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10
FALES FALnACY.

(Lima, O., Times-Democrat.)
Senator Fall of New Mexico, two
weeks ago, demanded Of President
Wilson his authority for asserting
that Americans we're spreading false
reports from the border in order TO
make trouble with the anarchistic
republic of Mexico. Today he is
travelling about the Rio Grande re-
gion writing letters on the awful
aspects of the situation. which are
entered into the Congressional Rec
ord by his colleague. Fall should
take a fall to himself-he is a living
example OF the lie which is charac-
teristic Of the the intervention-an-
nexation interests.
The senator in question owns vast
tracts of land in Mexico, valuable for
the production Of ore. oil and cattle.
He obtained them as Hearst obtained
his ranch as the Hartman estate"
railroads obtained their lands and
as various iron, gold, copper and oil
interests secured the huge monopo-
lies which they have exploited at the
expense Of the Mexicans. They
bought their franchises and conces-
siOns from the elder Diaz by bribery.
and the usurpation by Wall Street
interests Of the rights Of Mexican
poems led to the revolution Of 1911.
Fall represents the class which
would have the United States send
thousands Of American boys, unpre-
pared and under-equipped. 20 their
death, If necessary. to protect ILL
gotten blue-sky projects which have
made their owners wealthy. He rep
resents the class of Americans which
hired villa % force Intervention and
which supplied him literally with
arms and money so that mis- raid on
Columbus might be possible he
represents the class which will do
anything 70 force invasion, and fail
ing TO fool Wilson will do anything
TO defeat him for his reelection.
Two weeks ago he denied the pres
ident's assertion that Americans were
making trouble by false reports. To-
day ne is himself spreading reports
calculated 10 make trOuble-the de-
NAL Of his own sincerity and the
proof Of his own unfitness 10 be in
the senate. The man who wishes 90
/ bait the president must have his
J hands clean, for the presidents are.
/ beyond doubt
Henry Ford is Michigan's favorito
/ for president Most any man who
/ hands out five dollars a day for or-
binary two dollar Jobs can be pOpu-
/ lar.-Whecling News.
! The woman who shot a sheriff on
a train in Oklahoma says 4 was a
! joke. But the sheriff. having died.
doesn't see TIE 5oke.-Rochester, ".
/ Y. Herald.
Study briefly the face Of the fellow
who is carrying a ishpOle and you
can tell whether he is coming or
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10
TheMehingPot
Filled by the Editorial stan.
MOVING.

For m MOVING
You want 10 get of? ?" my boss then
said
Quite reproving
Yes sire. / said TO this boss of mine.
Meek as could be.
For this wife OF mine says she has
got
Much work for me.
See mere" said the boss in tones Of
decision.
You write your dope.
Don't FOR a minute think Wen MI
your column
With washing soap"
But how in the world 1 said 10 my
boss.
VIII / 'er think
With my whole household democrat
lied from
Parlors 20 sink?
How will ] explain, what story Will
tell
To loving wife.
How Will keep my family in peace,
and how
VIII I stop strife?
The boss he was stubborn, ne said
to me.
You must keep quiet,
If you got 10 move. why go ahead
and move. but
Do it at night"
So here / am laboring, tor / got to
be,
Bound TO be funny,
But the guys that are moving me,
why they
Cost me money.
I can't think Of thing. no 1 can't
write
one little joke
For though I am moving. got to be
moving.
In darn near broke
The world looks dark. although the
day
Is nice and bright,
For ] am thinking Of tie battle 10
come.
OF a family fight.
What wife would believe me, espe-
cially
on Moving day,
When you spring the old story about
the boss
And his cruel way.
So here they have kept me, they
insisted
That l must work.
But I can see where my wife is go
ing 70
Brand ne a shirk
Speaking of that battle at Yer
dun. did you ever stop to think of
the terrible amount of moving they
have to do over there before and
after each battle.
one Of the reasons they talk about
the horrors OF war is that Just about
the time the soldiers get used 20 one
trench they either got 70 get up and
take a new trench TO live in or the
enemy comes over and leases the
enc they are living in and they got
to vacate.
Even war is one move after the
other.
Now take that, Mexican chase af-
ter Villa. Just think of the moves
| Villa has made and. talking as q
man who knows whereof he speaks,
Villa has had enough punishment
already.
Even politics IS contaminated With
this moving STUFF. Take the presi-
dent, for instance: they don't let him
stay in the white house more than
eight years.
That's one reason aln never go
ing TO be president. it's too much
trouble TO move.
a man who has just rented a
house can't get much interested in
a ball game unless he is watching
some of the slow men. who NAV
move but cont show it.
o
Mary had a little lamb.
And what We mean is that.
Mary had this lamb until.
She got into her fat.
! The real inside of the above is
that Mary one day went out TO rent
her fiat and in speaking to the land
lord told OF her family. which in
| cluded a mother and father. al
though fiction so far has failed to
mention these two people, but we
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10

Study briefly the face OF the fellow
who is carrying a fishpole and you
can tell whether he is coming or
going.-Toledo Blade.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10

a train in Oklahoma says Il was a
joke. But the sheriff. having died.
doesn't see TIE 5oke-Rocheste~, ".
Y. Herald.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10

Henry Ford is Nichigan's favOrite
for president Most any man who
hands out five dollars a day for CT
binary two dollar Jobs can be pOpu-
lar.-Whecling News
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10
Mary had a little lamb.
And what We mean is that.
Mary had this lamb until,
She got into her fat.

The real inside of the above is
that Mary one day went out 10 rent
her fiat and in speaking to the land
lord told Of her family. which in
Guided a mother and father, al
though fiction so far has failed TO
mention these two people. but we
are on the inside on this stuff and
know she had a father and mother.
At any rate. Mary was the boss of
this family and she went out TO rent
the house.
In speaking TO the landlord Mary
said, I have the dearest little
lamb" The landlord informed her
that she would have to get rid of
her little lamb If she wanted 10 rent
his fat. so Mary finally consented 10
get rid of the little lamb. II was
not until several days after she
moved in that she learned the land
lord drought her lamb was not real
m uttOn.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10

THE NEWS TIMES PRINTING COMPANY
ONCE: 20 W. Colfax Az.
Home Phone ISL Bell 2loO
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10

We move today. we move tomorrow.
The orld alas is filled with sorrow.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-10

Speaking of that battle at Yer
dun, did you ever stop to think Of
the terrible amount of moving they
have to do over there before and
after each battle.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Merchants Exchange

reliable. we carry a complete line
Of sta rnps. supplies. ink pads, caters
rubber type. etc. The SchwerotAe
stamp Co. ~ Cannon gt.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

Farmer Want Ads. One Cent Word
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

KAR&ILOW q FUCKER. Yeyfitttns
and lock repairing, electric bells In
tailed and repaired. zoe Fairfield
Ave. Telephone 1876.
b Il dss
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

Statesmen and second hand; OF"
flee and house sizes. Walter e,
Marsh, 1872 Fairfield Ave.
A 81 EFT
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

MOVE into a new home of your own.
Your rent will pay for it. Several
new cottages and bungalows to be
sold on rental payments, with
small payment down. Property at
Myrtle Beach, near trolley; and fine
bathing beach; 80 minutes from
Bridgeport by trolley. Buildings
have all improvements, complete
bath rooms, gas, electricity. Plen-
ty of sleeping rooms. Built for all
year use. Good investment. GOOD
locality. Low prices. For particu-
lars write or telephone George
Haskins, Builder and owner, Mil
ford, Conn. Telephone $50, Mil
ford. S 2 -
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Engraved Calling Cards

Graved wedding invitations South
worth's. 10 .ArcardA
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

WE WANT AN ENERGETIC, ambiti-
GUS and reliable agent in every
town to talk our line of fruit trees,
shrubbery, etc. Experience unnec-
essary. Permanent, profitable,
home employment. We pay weekly.
No investment required. Attrac-
tive outfit loaned. No delivering
or collecting. Good time now to
start. Special inducements for
quick action. Address Perry Nurs-
cry Co., Rochester. N. Y, Establish
ed 81 years.
B9 as"
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
NATUREOPATHY

DIR. f. B SMITH (GraduAte Blumer
College of Nateuropathy) removes
the cause or chronic and acute dis
eases thereby assisting nature to
restore health, no drugs. Investi-
gate, terms moderate. Consu1ta-
ton free. Rooms 6oo-02. Connec-
tfcut National Bank building. Hours
I IS sss
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

FURNITURE REMOVED, teamwork.
horses sale and hire, coCAl and wood
Portable power for saving wood or
other purposes John D. Dixon, las
Evergreen st. Tel 4SEk Z4 e
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Awnings and Sail Maker
Doctor

FIFE MODERN AMI scientific meth
o6's employed in my practice such
cf1iropractic, massage, hygiene. are
in accord with nature AMI Will Inn
prove and restore your health. nr.
Adolf o. Steinfadt, Dougless prac-
titioner. Security Building. Tel.
67sS; consultation free.
B .17tt
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

WANTFTD-A stock salesman for n
Connecticut corn grafton located IN
New Haven. where the directors
have decided to sell s25. 900 of pre-
Gerred stock and whose ability rs
such can ees him steady position
with bright future. Call or address
Room 504. CEtfer Bldg. IL Church
St.. New Haven. Conn.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

sTORAGE Furniture, separate
rooms. packing. Local and long dis.
lance auto trucking. Phone 2S3-3.
The Glasn0r Furniture Co., 1192
Main st. IL TIE
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Inventors

WANTED-Inventors to send for one
oe my booklets on U. S. and Foreign
patent Mercer D. B1onde1. Patent
Solicitor. Conn. -TationaI Bank
building. 3 27 *tf
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Foot Specialist

CORNS removed 80 cents; punions
so cents; callouses SO cents; in
growing nails so cents. DR.. Mans
field, 1907 Main St. over billions.
2 Is ds~
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
CLARVOYANTS
Insurance

IN vo1,r Dvonerty. Insurance cost
Eng 1-2c a day protects YOU All
the particulars at D. B. Boothe
Co, Conn. Bank Building.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
AlnlluIaIlceS
Automobiles

EHE AUTO LAMP REPAIR SHOP
Lamps. horns and windshields. Re-
pairing, supplies and glass OF All
kinds. PROMPT service Lamps OF
all kinds for sale. 164 Elm street
Bridgeport. Conn. Phone 235T-4.
r "a "tf
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Help Wanted

WANTED-Men to learn the auto
mobile business: special rates given
TO secure chauffeur~ to FIJI these
positior1s offered. We guarantee to
qualify Won to make good. 455i
9trAtfrod avenue Phone 4O4G
y dSs
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

INTELLIGENT young man 20. years
wants position as clerk in office.
Address Samuel Markham 222 Con-
gress st. AIS a. =
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Landscape lAk.cl1iLecLs

DEvELoPRLnrNT OF ESTATES
planting. grading. tzee specialists
pruning. spraying. cavity work
Dealers in cut flowers seeds. hc6-
gee. trees. Fertilizers. Funeral
worE< q speciality. Mal1ett-Cock-
field & Co.. 341 Fairfield Ave. Tel
2sos-1s. o - ste
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Help Wanted.

buffers and rag
wheeler on spoons and forks. r.
Wallace & Son Mfg. Co., Waiting
ford, Conn. d"
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

LIST iHOUR RENTS with Us, Ameri-
can Mortgage & Realty Co., esq
Main st. & 23 &tf
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

AUTOMOBILE OWNERS ATTEN"
TION: We can save you money on
your automobile. fire and iap11Ly
Insurance. Give US a chance TO H.
CURE before you insure elsewhere.
XaMaon Goodsell & Co. No. 1929
Main ct Phone No. ST. Sass
wE 10 AUTOMOBILE PAINTING.
Tri5s,yning, Tops ana Slip Covers
FIRST class work at .reasonaole
prices Auto Bodies our Specially
HTertouoIitan Auto & Carriage Co.
$50 Grand st U stf
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

LOST.-Very dark !rown French
bull. white chest. Age 10 months;
no collar. C11I 206 PARK place
Phone 21c. Reward. H 16*tf
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

WE WILL COVER and furnish alr0
material for 8 piecA paFlop suit
guarantee ali workmanship az elFuG
class, ten patterns % select eron
Cor $12. VIM. r. Scalssy. see G1I-
bert St.. near L4aEayefts.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
.1UDAI,S WAINXS

DIAMOND BROOCH LOST between
Wall street and North Ave. Finder
will receive liberal reward if return
ed to E. J. Breckbill, Main Post Of
flee. A 81 *tf
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-05
BALL PURCHASES
ST. LOUIS TEAM
Fed Leader Acquires Amer
lean League Team for
Sum Of S525,O00.

St Louis, Mo, Jan SIN line with
She baseball peace agreement, Phil Bail
and Other stockholders of the st. LOUIS
Federal league club have purchased
the ST Louis American club. accord
ing to an announcement by attorneys
for Mr. Ball.
The price for the browns was $685.
600 This sum was paid by Phil Ball.
James ". Garneau and Otto Stifel for
500 shares of stock in the ball club
and the DOdriel Realty company, the
owner of the local American league
park. and grandstands.
Robert Lee Hedges. president of the
old Browns. held a controlling interest
in both the ball club and realty com
pany- He received $500 a share for his
4S4 shares Of stock. a total of S2z2. 600.
Ball will be president Of the new
Browns.
Fielder Jones, manager Of the local
Federalss becomes manager Of the new
Browns. Branch Hickey. former man
ager Of the Browns. Will be retained,
probably as a scout or in the business
office.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-05
DEFER MEETING
Of MOTOR MEN
Organization of Local Deal
ers Is Postponed Until
After Excursion.

so many automobile dealers are
taking in The Herald's excursion to the
Chicago show this month il will be in
advisable to hold another meeting of
the FL PasO Motor association until the
members return" said c. P. Henry. sec
rotary OF the new dealers organization,
when asked about another meeting for
the adoption of a constitution
1T seems that pretty nearly every
salesroom in FL Paso is going to be
represented on the excursion and the
matter of constitution is far too i'm
portant to be taken up hurriedly.
Those going on the trip viii be able
to discuss the plans followed in other
cities with dealers whom they will
meet in Chicago and some very valu-
able pointers can be gathered in this
way"
List Nears so.
The reservations are coming in rather
slowly now for the reason that all the
local dealers have lined up, but the
out of town dealers are arran ging their
and the efforts to get together party
of IS persons bid fair to be successful
Already the list is nearing the so mark
Any MOtorist Can Go.
The special rate is not confined TO
dealers and all motorists who desire TO
take advantage of the trip may get
in on the trip Only dealers, however,
will participate in the. entertainment at
Kansas City and Chicago but others
making the trip viii get the low rail-
way fare and some other advantages.
Reports from Fort Worth are TO the
effect that nearly $50 reservations have
already been made for the special train
auspices Of the Star-TeIegram- This
big party will Join the southwestern
DELEGATION at Kansas City on Sunday
January %.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-05
Willard MAY STICK. To CIRCUS;
SMALL CHANCE FOR CHALLENGERS
Match With Fulton Seems to Have Gone Glimmering,
While Fight With Winner of Coffey Moran Bout Is
Nebulous Uncertainty; Wizards Backers Say He Is
Invincible, Discouragng the White Hope Class
By DAMON RUNYON.

is inconceivable that he was ever
small boy Flynn was already
launched on his fistic career. Lew
was raised in Bessemer, an adjunct of
Pueblo where the c. F & L company
has its steel works while FLYNN was
peculiar 10 another section of town.
me Boedeckers have, and probably
still have, considerable money, and
conducted big boarding house for
steel workers. which they finally
passed on to another family, that also
ity to the world Of sport That was
Spencer. alias Joe, alias Fat Curtis, a
star on one OF Hurry-Up Yosts great
est Michigan football teams.
Like Flynn, Lew Boedecker became a
railroader, and finally drifted out TO
Montana He fought his first fight in
Pueblo, and il resulted in the only de-
feat 10 which he admits Rube Smith.
an old stager of the sticks, beat him
10 a u round decision. Since then Lew
has had number of fights. and those
who have seen him work say he really
shows some promise.
He is certainly big enough If Flvnn
had been as big as BOdie he would
probably have been heavyweight cham
pion long ago, and if BOdie has any OF
the heart of Flynn he ought to devotion
into good ringman. Harry Pollok
has taken the management of Bodie,
and is looking for q match for the
young man.
Freddy's Hope.
Freddy Welsh was seated next to a
gent who stated that he had never be-
fore seen prize fight, at the Lewis |
Richie engagement in Madison Square |
Garden the other night. After the |
boys had torn off half a dozen rounds |
at a terrific clip. Freddy turned to his /
neighbor and asked:
How do you like it2'
"Oh, its all right" said the man, '
with a blase manner. IFS pretty !
good fight"
Say" whispered the lightweight
champ TO Bob Vernon. I hope this /
bird never comes TO see me box If he I
thinks this blood-and- thunder thing {
is only pretty good, what would he say
about meg'
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-05
Confessions of An Umpire
Brennan Tells Wagner Umpe
Game and Both in Practically the Same Way.
BY BILL BRENNAN.

T WONDER if the fans of any city
outside of Pittsburg ever saw two
- umpires knocked cold. knocked out
happened at Forbes Field, and Brick"
Owens was one of the victims, while I
was the other. and the awakening in
the clubhouse was humorous to the on
lockers
Owens was working behind the plate
and Hans Wagner was at bat The
big German" tipped a fast one for a
foul Owens had his head up and got
1t squarely in the neck He fell just as
il Jess Willard had lifted his mask and
then slammed him on the jaw.
Players Pick Up Owens.
The usual rites were gone through.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-05

me just where Owens was wounded
! right in the neck.
Carry Brennan Off Field.
Although 1 was present was quite
unconscious of the first aid services
rendered. but I suppose they sprinkled
me literally with water and then
srunted and perspired as they carried
me from the field. for neither Brick
nor myself would ever qualify as
lightweight.
I have an idea that there wasn't
as much force back of the ball that hit
me as the one that cracked Brick" for
regained consciousness first. I was
lying on the clubhouse floor when l
came TO and looking up. saw Brick
on the rubbing table. The game was
over and 1 dimly realized that the play
ers were under the showers and that
they were talking Of the extraordinary
feat Of having two jumps knocked cold
in one battle was still cropping for
facts when Owens regained conscious
ness. He looked about in a dazed sort
Of way and, gazing down, saw me ly-
Thought Hans Hit Him.
well. we'll" said Owens.
Pretty tough. isn't it2' I inquired.
I always knew you were my pal"
What's the joker I asked.
I knew you would come to my aid
when Wagner hit me with that bat.
But didn't figure that he was good
enough to knock both Of US cold"
oh ] said Il didn't go TO your aid;
went back. Of the bat because the
rules said So
Then I had to explain to Brick"
that Hans didn't assault him with his
war club because he called a strike,
but that it was a foul tip which laid
him low and that 1 was injured in the
same way
Spectators Get n Laugh.
Which brings me to another peculiar
trait of human character as displayed
at a ball game. Why is it that every
one shouts with laughter when an UNI
pire's hurt2 There is nothing more ex-
cruciatingly painful than to have
foul tip. a low, one, hop between the
catcher's legs and crack an umpire on
the shin.
The arbiter would give almost any
thing to call time and sit down and
rub that injured shin. but he won't
because the jeers and the jibes of the
fans would be increased: so he suffers
silently, goes right along with the
pastime SO that he won't afford the
rooters additional joy.
Another cause for laughter and
bowling is to have a foul tip smack
against the umpire's chest protector or
slam against his mask. It may be the
popular impression that a foul tip
striking the mask causes the wearer no I
pain. but it isn't a fact A good Jar
means a headache for the remainder of !
the afternoon, as every catcher viii |
testify.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-05

Out west, some years ago, Sam
Pruitt, the eolored demon, tried the
same trick; but instead of being
dipped into the River Styx, Tham's
friends soused him with goosegrease
so that his opponents blows would
slip off.
The mistake they made was the
same that Achilles's mother made. 1t
seems that Sam had a slight cut upon
his tummy and wore a piece of court
plaster over it. The goosegrease hit
every spot except that covered by the
plaster.
He was to fight Bob Armstrong.
and entered the arena this night with
the confidence of a champ. He felt
that he had the edge on Bob. and
could hardly hold back a broad grin.
Oh, wouldn't Bob be surprised when
he hit Than and the blows dropped
off like water from a ducks spine.
When the bell rang, Than DID
break out in a load laugh. He
COULDN'T hold back. He SPARED.
and then sometime like a clan fro,,,