The state herald., 1916-10-13

there's plenty Of room. anyway.
Chairman Newcomer-Ladies and
(singling out two or three individually
l might add. gentlemen. l have the
pleasure Of introducing the next gov.
ernor OF Colorado. Judge julius c.
Gunter.
Small Boy-Hes . bum prophet.
whatf
Mr.. Gunter advances. displaying
old-fashioned round cuffs and long,
sweeping. black Prince Albert)
Second Villager-He won't get far
In that.
Third Villager-Whaddyem far?
He can run all right IL he picks up his
skirts.
Second Villager-Yes, but this Is q
neutral sack coat campaign. That
Prince Albert makes him look too
much like one Of the Allies.
Mr.. Gunter-I want you to 60 back
with me to the boyhood, the very In
fancy Of Woodrow Wilson
Small Boy-Do we get round trip
ucketsf
Mr.. Gunter-And follow me down
through the years with that great
statesman. Woodrow Wilson.
Cheers from combined Woodrow
Wilson club. while member holds stop
watch and later reports that cheering
continued for eleven and two -fifths
seconds.
ITO make q short story long. Mr.
Gunter here dwells feelingly on the
birth. boyhood. youthho5d. early man.
hood and past. present and phophesied
future OF Woodrow Wilson. He de-
clared he would only make few scat
tering remarks. but 1t was notable
that he scattered them over fifty
minpte period. with very few commas
or semicolons. He referred. touching.
ly to the time when the White
House incumbent first appeared In
swaddlins clothes. This caused vast
surprise to the w. Wilson club. that
body having INDUCED In the popular
fiction that its patron saint was like
. ny In that he had been born full
blown. Then the speaker carried his
audience down through the Wilsonian
life-through the nursing. teething.
crawling. toddling days-through the
barefoot, stone bruise. swimming hole,
spanking. school and college days
on. on to the present year. A. D. 1916.
and of the U. s. Democracy ~
First villager tanxiously)-what
does he think he's running for-gover.
nor II the District OF Columbia?
Second Villagcr-Well. wen all be
running for the last car II he doesn't
hurry.
First villager-I gotcha, Steve. And
he Amt said word about Colorado
yet. has he?
Third villager--Ain't he got no II.
sues!
First villager-If issues we're Ma.
CARA Falls he'd be yelling for u
drink.
Harry Tedrow (wigwagging sxcit.
edly to Mr.. Gunter and speaking to
man In next seaD-Gunter ought 70
talk about Colorado. He's allowed
himself to get 30 for from home well
probably have to send an auto after
him.
Mr.. 0unter (oblivious Of anxiety In
bosom Of his friends) to
talk about Mr.. Wilson and to dwell on
things in his administration which ma.
tional committee has selected as safo
to dwell on. Draws o. T. watch from
beneath curtaining folds Of Prince Al.
bert "Ah. my time Is up. ! must
close by urging you again to vote for
Mr.. Wilson" tBows md steps from
platform. almost escaping the waiting
arms Of Mr.. Tedrow.)
Small Boy-Dls ole state suPs ain't
on no map wot hes got.
Mr.. Tedrow. now beginning % hse
hard row. makes . successful dive q
the abscondins tails Of Mr. 0untsg's
Prince Albert.
Business OF Tedrow whispering ~
tily Into the 0unter ear:
"P.s.sti Choo-ce! Prohibitieo!
M.m.m.m.uh.hum! Colorado! P-esei
Dry, dry! Whee.ee.ce-yip! P.eSe!
Prohibition -Colorsdo-Dry! Floo-ee.
ss!" pushes Gunter toward plat.
form. Candidate is thoughtful. almoet
dcspairlnE. but eye at last lights M
q glsam OF belated understanding -
crowd starts to trickle from hall.)
First villager-0ee. he's eeoiAg
back.
Second vlllagcr-Yeh; ditis ever
hear Of the coal wagon driver who
drove over tho man and then looked
around and hollcred, Hoy. there.
watch out" and tho fcller In the street
yelled. "Why7 Are you coming backf'
Small Boy-see him hop to II agin.
HAs tho guy that put the hops IN
beer.
Mr.. 0untsr (back on platform. Wv.