davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06
FOR RENT

HOUSES TO RENT OR SALE-One
seven-room two-story house, six large
rooms. three up stairs and three down
stairs. all plastured, located In Solana
and surrounded by good neighbors and
citizens, about one quarter of mile
from the city limits of Punta Gorda and
not far from Charlotte Harbor bay. Any
party desiring to purchase can get terms
from the owner Fer further informa
ton see or address the owner.-H. J..
Spence, Punta Gorda, Fla 3
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06
Plant Cowpeas in July for Hay

There is no better hay than
good cowpea hay. Folks hear a
great deal about alfalfa these
days, but if cowpeas are cut at the
right stage and properly handled
they make just as good hay as al
falfa.
The greatest trouble with cow
pea hay is curing. This is cspec-
tally true III Florida during the
rainy season that the Florida far
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06

germ-transmission of disease is a
fallacy, that what was good e.
nOug for their fathers is good e.
.nough for them, and that the chill.
dren of one or two generations "a
go were stronger and better ply
sically than those of today.
But it is probable that, without
the earnest cooperation of the lay
members of society with the eff
forts of the doctors to reach bet
ter things, the next generation
won't be as healthful and as
strong as the present one.-State
Board of Health.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06
WAN

EXPERIENCED MAN-Will furnish
Two acres No, l land. horse utensils
and labor necessary to grow same in pep
per, other man to furnish fertilizer and
Seed-each to pay half of the expense Of
harvesting ana shipping, profits to be di-
vided equally If interested address
trucker" care Herald. It,
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06

FOR SALE-Very desirable corner
location on Punta Gorda's beautiful bay
'front.', magnificent view. two-story house,
spacious grounds 70 X 109 an ideal spot
Tor a winter home.-Apply to Senator +.
M, Cooper or DR.. Burland Punta Gorda
tla. tmar1
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06

AN ELDERLY MAN wants to cores
pond with respectable lady with no
family ties, one about 40 to so years old.
Address Fl. g., Care Herald, Punta Cor
da, Fla.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06

FOR SALE-20-Acre truck farm
morse wagon and all farming tools; pouI-
cry, thoroughbred leghorns, furniture
ana many other things at sacrifice
y HARVEY MILLER, Acline, Fla. If
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06

LOTS FOR SALE by II. Solberg,
fronting on both sides of Dixie High
way, where new cottage has recently
been built. Address H SOLBERG,
Cleveland, Fla. 24-4t.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06
MlScELLANEOU

VISITING CARDS-Visiting cards
printed from appropriate type faces. lin
en- or velum finish. rs for SOC, so for 75c.,
400 for 81. 00.-THE HERALD.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06
FOR SALE

NATAL HAY sEED-6Oc. pound. hun
ured pound lots. sfty cents per pound
Write for prices large lots All of our
seed hand picked and the best. Quick
Shipment.-R. NJ. .SLIGH. Lady Lake.
Fla. 25-5t.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06
CLASSIFIED

AZ Advertisements inserted under this
mead for cents per line each insertion,
SIX words counting a line. Advertise
Hiehls running ten times or more win be
inserted for cents per line each tirne
70 advertisement inserted for less than
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-07-06

JUST THINK. for $500 and one worn
out tire, I'll give you SOx3 Good
year,. S. JACKSON, Jr.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
How Would You Feel?

A good many years ago Tssker L. Oddie,
who later became Governor of the state, and
Henry J. Amigo, destined to develop into the
leading cigar merchant of Reno, were bosom
pals in the gold camps Of Southern Nevada.
Recently. when Amigo made up his mind to
marry and settle down, he asked Oddie to be
his best man. Oddie promised, but when the
wedding day came ne was hundreds OF miles
from Reno, caught in the railroadless fast
nesses of copper camp, and had to telegraph
Amigo that he couldn't be on hand. Prompt
ly the bridegroom-elect went to his next best
friend Walter Trent, and asked him to serve.
Glad to, Henie," said Trent But" he
added slyly, II feel rather bad about being
second choice"
Oats all right. Walter" soothed Amigo, in
his broken accent. Don't feel bad. AS a
matter of fact, Walter, vas considering you
before I asked the Governor"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
INV Wife's Uncle Has Got the Laugh
on U.s." Says Birsky. "Last Year
He Lost in His Business Sc, OOO."

but what show does a Teller like you
stand to carry it out?"
Why not'" Birsky asked.
Because you'll find that all them null
ti-millionaires has already bought options
on every orphan asylum in the United
States" Zspp replied, land if after Offset
ting their incomes them millionaires has
got any orphans left on their hands, Biz
sky, you could bet your life that the very
least they would hold them at would be
$50 an orphan net cash"
Il don't agree with you, Zapp,' Birsky
said THE way incomes is taxed nova
days people don't want to make money
no more In fact, if these here income
taxes keep up, Zapp, it will soon be that
if you meet Teller on the subway with
one of them Al Rochmones' looks on his
face, and you say to him, Halo, Max.
You look like your best customer would
of failed on you he will say: I wish he
had Why what's the troubleT you ask
him, and his eyes fill with tears. 'Busi-
ness is terrible he tells you. Last year
we made over a hundred thousand dollars
and this year it's worse yet. We got ous
our trial balance yesterday and it looks
like we are ahead a hundred and fifty
thousand dollars Considering that this
brings him under the per cent SUPER
tax and he's got ruin staring him in the
face, what can you say to such fellers
Zapp?"
Nothing" Zapp replied, except to tell
him when him and his family is starving
in two rooms on Forsyth Street, on ae-
count they only got hundred and forty
four thousand dollars year left to 1.-Two
on, Birsky, that your wife would call
round there with once in while littlo
cold meat from yesterdays dinner or
some Grade B milk for the baby"
fiber joking aside" Birsky said, tho
United States was able to pay its bills
before they had an income tax and every
body was satisfied, whereas nowadays
they don't raise no more money by Il and
everybody is kicking, SO what Is the use
Of an income tax anyway"
Well. I'll tell you, Birsky," Zapp SAID
1T don't do no harm that once In year
a business man should be made to tell the
truth-even il 1t would be on an average
only sixty cents truth on the dollar.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12

stand and the chief bookkeeper showed
him the figures, understand me, after they
had loosened his collar, famed him and
given him smelling salts. he raised his
head and, SUNNI oning all his strength, he
whispered telegram to raise gasolene ten
cents a gallon throughout the United
States. Great Britain and Ireland, France,
Germany and the West Indian Islands;
and that's the way it happened, Birsky.
Hes only fooling himself at that,
Birsky commented, because IN 1917,
when it comes time to fix up his income
tax return again. he's got staring him in
the face all them profits which he made
out of gasolene in 1916, and which he
would got to enter up under No. IA, To
tai amount derived from business, trade,
commerce or sales or dealings in prop
erty, whether real or PERSONAL y'under-
stand: and when he sees what an income
tax he's got to pay on it, Zapp, he'll kick
himself that he didn't reduce the price
Of gasolene instead Of raising it. | tell
you, Zapp, money amt everything after
all It used to be considered that Teller
with an income Of 100000 year was
lucky man, but nowadays when he's got
to pay in addition to the regular one per
cent tax a super tax of six per cent, he
leads dawg's life, Zapp.'
well. ne might just so we'll put
smiling face on it, Birsky, because he's
got more coming to him yet Zapp said.
Next year we would all got to pay
State income tax as well as a Federal H.
come tax"
Sure. I know Birsky said, land I
provided for it.
What do you mean-you provided for
it," Zapp demanded.
why, in this here State income tax,
Birsky explained, there's an exemption
Of Sl00 for each child you got Zapp,
which it don't make no difference if you
got a child oder an adopted child, Zapp.
you get marked off a hundred dollars
anyhow SO I figure that if would go
to work and adopt from an orphan asylum
enough children to Offset my income.
understand, I could put EN- to work
selling papers. and from the proceeds
could board EN- and have a surplus to
apply on my Federal income tax"
Its good idee, Birsky." Zapp agreed;
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
Up to Somebody.

~HIS is Senator George F. Thompsons
own story. Sophie Irene Loeb tried
10 tell i. once but Senator Thompson
saws she fell down. It's our try:
Up In Niagara County, where lots OF funny
things happen, lived a very deaf old man.
Conscious OF his affection, he did his best to
hide il, and when he began one day TO build
mill shaft beside the road he thought up
set OF answers to the questions he knew the
first passerby was sure to ask him.
"Somebodyll ask me- said he to himself,
",yhat I'm making. and I'll say, "A mill shaft
Then they'll want 10 know how long its going
70 be and III answer, Five feet When they
ask me how much I'll take for it I'll say,
Twenty-Five dollars and when they say they
won't cay that much for il III say. We'll,
II YOU don't. somebody else will"
Presently a man came along on horseback.
How far is it TO Barreu's Corners please"
he shouted.
"A mill shaft" replied the wise old deaf
man.
81 asked you how far it is to Barrett's Cor
ners." repeated the stranger.
Five feet" smiled the workman.
How far is it to Barrett's Corners2" per-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
RockafeNar Pays His, Zapp Declares,
by Boosting the Price of Gaso-
Zene Ten Cents a Gallon.

Rochester on December 3lst, and the con-
sequence is to save $40 note, | am run
ming chance of getting from twenty to
thousand dollars a fine. In the same way
l considered should or should not put
in under Line % total amount derived
from other sources not enumerated above
the $3.50 a week on an average which
am winning in the pinochle game / am
playing every Saturday night with Old
Man Farkas, B. Rashkind and Weiss IN
the handkerchief business and figured
to myself that some Saturday night along
about the second of March if I should
shoot a king Of trump through that
Stroh,chne;der Weiss. and he goes back on
a $50 Schuppe hand by couple OF points
understand, he wouldn't be able to wait
till Monday morning before he snitzes or
me 70 the Income Tax people. For dol
lar and half more income tax should
stuntify myself! What for' Am right
or wrong?
Then suppose you would also put in
that S75.25 which you were telling me
YOU made last September in Trapezoid
Fillum Preferred" Zapp said.
Birsky turned pale.
Il told you made S75.25 in that Fillum
stock" he exclaimed when did told
YOU such a thing? I'm surprised TO hear
YOU talk that way, Zapp."
What do you mean-surprised to hear
me talk that way?" Zapp retorted. when
got stung on that international Choco-
lat. and Cocoa common last September,
Birskv. didn't you call me all kinds OF
suckers for putting my good ninety dol
lars into that thing, and didn't you show
~. 2 check from one Of them Ganerim
which call themselves curb brokers fo'
s75.25?"
~ showed you check for S7s-25F
P;rskv cried. That only goes to show
wbat for friend you are, Zappl In the
Gee, Mace the check was for S6S.25, and
ia ,be second place when tell you some
,h;ro in the strictest confidence, Zapp' do
,ou think you are acting like gentleman
that YOU throw it up in my teeth at ''n'c
like this?"
zapp shrugged his shoulders -,
"por nv part. Birsky, you could OF
made $685." he said, "and entered II up
=, No 81, losses actually sustained dur
ing the year incurred in trade or arising
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
BLRSKY AND ZAPP SOLVE INCOME TAX ENIGMA
They Conclude 1t Does No Harm for a
Business Man to Tell the Truth
at Sixty Cents on the Dollar.

surprised that two dozen adding machines
was ruined on account they wasn't bulk
10 take such heavy figures like they run
through them
We'll. what difference does it make
how heavy them figures was'' Zapp said.
On the other side Of the page stands
No. IS. Amount allowed to cover deplc-
ton in case of mines and oil wells yum
derstand, and you could take it from me,
Birsky d smart business man like Rocka-
fellar, with all the expert bookkecpels
hes got, would easy Ill out No IS in such
way that them Income Tax people
couldn't prove otherwise but what they
owed Mr.. Rockafellar SlS9, 1888"
You're right, Zapp,' Birsky said, "and
anyhow, Zapp, ali he's got to do to pay
his income tax for 1915 to 1862, inclusive,
is to put up the price of gasolene couple
cents a gallon
He done that already, Birsky," Zapp
said "In fact, Birsky, he put it up so high
that they appointed committee OF Con-
gressmen to investigate it; and while they
amt reported yet, Birsky, the evidence
shows that when Mr.. Rockafellar started
to fill out No II, Total amount derived
from salaries and wages understand.
he discovered that under the decision Of
the United States Supreme Court he was
1884 presidents Of 1884 companies which
used to was the Standard Oil Company Of
New Jersey, understand, and that he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12

Copyright 191C-Thc Tribune assn.
KIT rs all been figured out, Birsky,
Barnett Zapp the waist manu-
- facturer said as he withdrew
itom his breast pocket a long brown en-
velope containing his income tax return,
that 6.3l4l6 per cent Of the people OF the
United States must got to pay income tax
and $500 per cent of the remainder says
to them: You should ought to be glad
that you've got an income big enough TO
pay taxes on So might just as well let
you know right here and now, Birsky,
that the next Teller which says that to me
would find out how a man who could be
perfect gentleman when he wants to be
could also act like loafer at times.
Say" Louis Birsky the real essater
protested, Il got one Of them income tax
returns myself for over month now,
zapp. and tried phenacetin and tried
strong black coffee, and ali I've filled out
so far is my name and address.
well don't you know: Were you
single or married with wife or HUSBAND
living with you on December 81 OF the
year for which this return is rendered.
said Zapp, quoting from the blank
Birsky nodded his head despalrlngly
Mind you, Zapp, begged that woman
she should stay home and tend to the
house, he declared with bitter emphasis
on the word begged, but she said 1t was
the last chance she would got to see hef
sister and brother-in-law in Rochester be-
fore they moved away to San Francisco
Colt ,ei donk. so she left here at O'CLOCK
December 80, and didn't get home till jan
uary4 T."
We'll, put it in anyway that she was
living with you on December 3lst, Zapp
advised How should they know that
your wife was visiting her sister III
Rochester on that day"
Listen, Zapp." Birsky said. "a real es'
later is got a whole lot OF enemies-brok-
srs he done out OF commissions, tenants
ne dispossessed and fellers which THINK
ne stuck EN- on certain deals, y'under-
stand. and all OF them roshoyim would De
only too glad 70 write TO the Income lax
people a synonymous letter NIT an alias
aSrne signed TO il. that my wife was i"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12

from fires, storms or ShipwTecks and not
compensated by insurance or otherwise.
what is it my business? And anyhow,
Birsky. il the Income Tax people comes
to you and says they want to look at your
handbook, ard they see on September 18th
$685., and they ask you did you enter 1t
on line q Of your income tax return, and
if not why not, Birsky, all you've got TO
do, Birsky. is to tell them that the S6S25
was given to you by curb broker to keep
it for little while for him until he wants
it again, because sooner or later, Birsky,
that's what's going TO happen to your
$68.2s. Nobody can do you nothing for
telling the truth. Birsky--not even the
Income Tax people
My wife's uncle julius has got the
laugh on all of u.s. Birsky said, with
sigh OF envy He imports imported Eng
lish brar root pipes from Germany, and
last year he lost in his business six thou
sand dollars. He should worry about in
come taxes"
Say" Zapp rejoined. "You think you
are in bad Listen for a moment what it
must be to TELLER like Charles M. Schwab
or Abraham Carnegie. bet you Mr..
Carnegie started to make up his 1916 in
come tax on July 4, 1902, by hiring two
floors in the Singer Building and force
of hundred and fifty certified public &C
countants, and probably right now he is
giving thousand dollars to a stomach
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12

got 1881 salaries
amounting to $685.
624,3SO.5 so 100, I'M
derstand me. He
then figured out the
income tax on it 70
be equivalence 70
an increase of &c. on
a gallon gasolene in
New York, Penn
sylvania, M a S S a
chusetts and Hi
nois. and done so
Immediately. After
ward S Michigan,
Ohio and New Jer-
sew w as added
when he figured out
the income tax on
No. 10. T O. al
amount d eriv q
from interest on
n otes, mortgages
bank deposits and
securities OF her
than reported on
lines II and TO-
understand, a n d
when he got down
to No. 2, Total
am cunt derived
from other sources
not enumerated
a b ove,' y'under-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
Tell These Next Time

sisted the questioner, by this time BIT angry.
twenty-five dollars
Say beloved the enraged rider. III you
weren't so old I'd get down of this horse and
beat your face"
Well" said the native. IF you don't some
body else will.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12

specialist for a let
ter saying that he
has got Magenbe-
schwerden. SO that
he could get a post
ponement u n d cr
No. 5, When the
return is not filed in
the regular time by
reason Of sickness
an extension Of 80
days may be grant
ed, provided a writ
ten appl i cation
therefor is made by
the individual with
in the period for
which such extern
sion is desired
understand
That's nothing.
Birsky said. Take
for instance John
d. Rockafellar, and
after his bookkeep-
crs got through fill
ing out No. 81,
Total amount de
rived from royalties
from m ines, oil
wells, patents. fran
chises or other lc-
galized privileges
Zapp, I wouldn't he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-03-12
By MONTAGUE GLASS,
Illustrations by Briggs.

Copyright 191C-Thc Tribune Assn.
,<T rs all been figured out, Birsky,
Barnett Zapp the waist manu-
II r..- IL ,r he until 6reIU
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-07
Rail Strike
Meeting Not
Fauored Here

Mayor Ovcrholser rejected this morn
ing telegraphic suggestion that the
mayors Of Oklahoma'S cities and towns
assemble here and try 10 work out some
plan to aid in a settlement OF the i'm
pending national railroad strike. The
suggestion was contained in the follow
ing telegram from Val Mullen OF Ard
more, president Of the Municipal league
/, appears that biggest strike IN
history OF world will be pulled oil
at once What do YOU think about
calling meeting OF mayors IN Okla
homa City at once and see II we can
aid in settlement
Oklahoma City'S executive declared
such an action would he futile and alb
surd.
The greatest minds in America, in
dustrial and political, have been work
ing to avert this strike" Mayor Over
holscr said, and the federal govern
ment has ntimatcd that it will inter
vcne. OF what avail would be meeting
such as tha, suggested We country
mayors would be unable to do anything
in the face Of the failure OF such forces
as have been at work, and a meeting for
such a purpose would appear.to me tc
he the height OF lmbeclllty That's my
sentiment
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-07
CORNELIUS WILL
ASK RECOUNT TO
WIPE OUT DOUBT
g. cminu,d from rss. -n.N

'cu'inued ft"m rsse ~nel
Welsh 2li, Rem II Danoy, lO7 John
Huha,ka. l7h
County Clerk-Georgc K Yeokum.
ill0
Cou, Clerk O \ Bartholomew. l..
~. Mr., Golie * Ircen lbN
joNuy Assessor George " tarriJo
1884 Paul Huston. l;i1
County Treasurer ] s. Catlt. Ni
Other Selections.
ludge criminal court oi appeals
democrat. Do,lc. ilp tho opponent
Republican GRAY i.l4l. luo opponcnh
Vote ON state question, IN Oklahoma
county Question No 81. SAP YES. $3.50
no. 40 IS. 1qlS ,c,. hO,1 no. No. ~.
'.7OQ ycS. h.lol M No 81. llAl ye,. o..
iS7 No No ~. l.lc0 yc'. b,7lS NJ. No
S. lll, YES. Soil no. 40 ~, tluca-
~ te,l I5o7 ye,. $40 no; SO 81. g..
l22 yes, 500 no. No rs 1SN ye, D..
n7S nv
County commissioner. democrat rir0,
district REYNOLDS. 49, pcndlc,. iN.
SECOND district sheldon. pl. Head.
,O, Third district Ahctuaihy, so
Barnett. nSl. Smith. hI. Whitney so
Republican. county commissioned.
First district bla,k Second district.
pi,kfd. ilS SUMMER. IN. nlancy lh1
Third district Little. lno opp1neuD
State Officers
Corporation commissioner. democrat
long term m Oklahoma county. ! "
. Johnston led the field with lhT ynie,
/ \ = Watson wa, second. with loot
/ Ni''mcrug third with 0,l. Russell
fourth with ~. and Harrison fifth
with 80 Shnf, term Humphrey. l.lni
B Lla,,o l.lN Feld o1l. and Austin as
Republican. ior long term corporation
J.mmi,,nu Parkinson. liV House
lO4l and Amold. ~ Short term
NrNn llQ Gtcum. sn
|. state senator. democrat. long term
SNYDER lS,h. Hurst lllS Wilson. /.
|. ~. and Jten,haw. $40 Short term
run, llN llasan, l'li and Wat
Nns. p1S
Republican. stat, senator. long term
1v,lofd Ali Short term, J Z Helm
iOib
State Representatives.
Representative. democrat. First ~,
uiJi Adamsun. n09 lnp uppousnb Se,
rnd di,ui,, Bu,ethcld. lhl. Richard.
~ Third district. Gish. hS7. Morrow
dl MeJalth. ~. Fourth Rohet',of
'sl. ilarpet. lpS Cody. ~, Whiuak,l
IN. Fifth district. Dolan. i9s. Wnsh
M. Gil' IN Gordon Us
Representative. republican. Fif,, di'
,fic,. llarfi,. Nl. Harm ~. Seccn
district GNattnt,. so. tno opponent
Third district. Nelson. ~ tnn oppc
nenn. Fourth district. Eastman. M
Nuricn. PSI. SAMSON. " Fifth di'ltic
S,en,i. so lno orpnntnb
For congress. tcmocfat I've !
, Thompson. ASH tnn cpponenb v,
F. publican Dodsun. ltii McAlec
IN. Goodrich. di. Walker, i7
Gresham. ISL