davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-01-08
ENGLISH WIT VS.. IRISH HUMoR

Seumas MacManus, the Irish writer
and lecturer, who is to lecture here
in Technical High Auditorium on
January II, gives his opinion that the
wit of an Englishman will not be
liable to blind you when it scintillates.
He says that when he was one day
riding on an inside tourist car, in
County Gerry, he got into a dispute
on Irish wit with q rather thick
headed Englishman who sat beside
him. So absorbed were they in their
argument that when they reached q
rather steep hill on the road, and the
jarvey, or car driver-who, by the
way, is the greatest wit in Ireland
had jumped off to tighten the horses
load up the hill, he, MacManus, for
got his duty to the dumb animals,
kept his seat and went on with his
argument. The jarvey, walking be-
hind the car, opened the door of it
several times and slammed it again
with a loud slam, which at length so
annoyed the Englishman, that he
irritably asked why he was doing that
Because SIR" said the sly jarvey,
every time the horses hear that door
slam they think that another man has
got out, and it gives the creatures en-
couragement on the HILL" The Eng
lishman, at hearing this, slapped his
knee. and let out of him a great guf-
faw. To Seumas MacManus. who had
taken the hint and jumped out, the
Englishman, settling himself back
for more comfortable seat, said
trumphantly: And this is some of
your boasted Irish brightness-Eh
Ha, ha, hal Did you ever know any
thing more stupid?" well, I must
confess" replied Seumas MacManus,
that Ireland carries its share of
stupidity-in the tourist season." At
this remark again the Englishman
slapped his knee and roared right
heartily.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-01-08
NAzIMOVA'S WAR BRIDES"
COMING

Sara Biala and a Supporting COM
pany of seven players will present
Madame Nazimova's celebrated play
let War Brides" at the Majestic
Theatcr during the latter part of
January. With this vehicle Nazlmova
made her first appearance in vaude-
Vile. commanding $4,000 weekly SAL
ary and the act was a sensation in
all of the biggest theaters in the
country. Miss Biala, who plays the
role of Joan in the company booked
for the Majestic, is an actress of great
capabilities.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-01-08

January witnessed the screen
debut of Constance Collier, we'll
known English actress whose family
has been associated with the stage
for matter of many years. Miss
Collier was first witnessed in THE
Tongues of Men" a Morosco produc-
tion released on the Paramount pro-
Sram.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-01-08

Nineveh proper, Khorsabad, Calah
and Keramils, which agrees with the
dimensions given by Diodorus, the
Greek historian, and fully justifes
Jonah's path into the exceeding great
city of three days Journey = The
Christian Herald.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-01-08
THE DRY NAVY is MAKING GOOD

| have had the privilege of travelling
as a guest on several of our American
men-of-war since the new orders for.
bidding the use of intoxicating liquors
among men and officers. The change
for the better permeates every depart
ment of conduct and service. Both Of
ficers and men are younger by many
years and no one can question their
ability to handle these valuable aggre-
cations of delicate machinery. Steady
hands, clear brains, clean bodies are
the rule and not the exception in all
departments. Neither the officers nor
the men would go back to the old con-
ditions, when rations of grog and ward
room drinking were the rule-Corre-
spondence of THE CHRISTIAN HERALD.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-01-08

Although ugly. improper and OBJ
jectionable plays may create stir
when first produced and by some even
be praised" says Forbes r robertson,
they cannot have a lasting life. Their
success is sensational and accidental
and in due course of time they will
die out of notice and disappear. True
lovers of the drama need feel no
anxiety" Forbes Robertson will soon
appear at the Orpheum.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Fish That Sinq.

There Is a fish called the butterman.
which Is found off the Scottish coast
This fish, which is fat and comfortable
looking, about a foot long as a rule
makes a distinct hooting noise from
the back of his throat when landed in
a net or caught on a long line. A net
full of these fish, though they are rather
rare, Is sometimes caught, and when
they are hauled in the chorus Of sharp,
siren-like boots is very startling to a
stranger.
But In Ceylon there is a shellhsh, a
kind Of mussel, which positively sings
In still weather when the water has
ebbed away from the mussel beds for
a few hours these shellfish can be heard
producing a long, low, 6uty sound
How they do it no one knows, but they
make a quite distinct attempt at sing
ing, and as they have no Threats they
must produce the sound by some ma.
nipulation Of their double shells.-Lon.
don Globe.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
A Peruvian River of Horror.

There Is a river Of mystery and hor.
TOR In Peru. and the legends Of rich
rubber regions and untold wealth in
gold are accompanied by tales Of those
who went up 1t never to return. CAST
mer Watkins. naturalist, who has
travelled extensively In South America,
tells of the stream:
"This river" he said, Is the Colorado
river, the richest river in Peru. Great
groves of rubber trees lie along its
course, and gold has been found in it
But the Mascos, a tribe Of cannibals,
infest it They still practice cannibal-
ism and will kill a man on sight. Elk.
petitions have been fitted out and been
heavily armed to go exploring for rub
Der and gold. but none Of them ever
has returned. The savages have killed
the men and eaten them and turned
the canoes adrift. They have come
down the river empty. bottoms up, or
filed with supplies which the savages
did not care to remove."-New York
Post
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
An Early Airship.

We are told by Peter Farley, WIN
wrote as az eyewitness. that in An.
gust. 1885. the airship Eagle was of8
ciallv advertised to sail from London
WI government dispatches and nas-
sengers for Paris and to establish Al.
rect communication between the cant
tails of Europe. This early type of air.
ship was 1GO feet long, fifty feet b,pb
and forty feet wide. and she lay In the
dockyard of the Aeronautical society
In Victoria road. near Kensington gar.
dens. then quite a rural spot. Built to
hold an abundant supply of gas, she
was covered 18th oiled lawn and car.
ried a frame seventy-five feet long and
seven feet high. with a cabin secured
by ropes to the balloon. An immense
rudder and wings or fms on each side
for purposes of propulsion completed
her fittings. The deck was guarded BY
netting. After all this preparation and
advertisement the Eagle never got be-
yond Victoria road, for Count Lennox
and his assistants failed to provide the
necessary motive power. - London
Standard.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Wasted Motions.

Our life Is peppered with motions
that fly wide and wild 1t begins on
awaking. We stretch our arms
waste motion! We ought to utilize
that gesture for polishing our shoes.
We rub our eyes-more foolishness.
We should rub our eyes on Sunday
for the rest Of the week.
But it is In processes like shaving
that scientific management is really
needed Men flatter themselves that
they shave with the minimum Of ges
ture. They believe that they com
plete the operation under five minutes
But, excusing their inaccuracy, do they
know that under the inspection Of the
scientific manager their performance
would look as jagged as their razor
blade under the microscope? The day
will probably arrive when a superman
will shave with one superb motion as
delightful to the soul as the uncoiling
Of an orange skin In one long unbroken
peeL-New Republic.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
What 10 Good Rope.

Rope Is sold by the pound, 50 there
is always the temptation for a dishon-
est manufacturer to load" his product
with an excess of oil or other material
or to make the coil trifie short The
consumer then pays the full rope price
for oil, etc. Then, too, much so called
manila contains a percentage Of In
ferior fiber such as sisal and has
neither the strength nor wearing quail
tiles that 1t should Tensile tests do
not tell the story, for some Of the adul
terants are almost as strong as manila,
but the strength Of poor rope falls on
rapidly with use
Open the strands and look at the In
side of an old rope for signs Of wear,
as It wears faster there than on the
outside. When a rope passes over the
sheave Of q block or around cleat the
strands slide little on each other, and
the inner f1bers gradually pulverize.
Good manila fiber Is light colored.
fine, silky and strong. Rope made from
1t Is smooth, with few ends Of 1ber
sticking out--Outing.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
HOW LIEUT.. ADAIR DIED FIGHT
ING AT CARRIZAL.

Lieut.. Adair was fighting like a de-
mon. All around him were his dead
soldiers. Captain Boyd was already
dead. A bullet through the eye ended
him. But Lieutenant Adair kept on.
He had been shot in half a dozen
places. There was blood across his
face and over his arms. His blouse
had been ripped off and he stood barred
to the waist.
He was using his automatic like a
machine gun, sweeping the Mexieans
with it as they closed in. With him
was one of his black troopers. Finally
the automatic could fire no more.
Adair pulled the trigger a couple of
times helplessly. Then he swung back
the arm and hurled the pistol in the
faces of the Mexicans.
The black trooper handed him an
other pistol. He shouted as he took it.
The Mexicans in front of him broke
and Adair and the trooper began to
bIIuSSiS bhiOuSh, lighting Win NhcA
fists when their pistols were empty.
But it was too magnificent to last.
When they reached a little irriga-
tion ditch, Adair stumbled and fell, he
had lost so much blood. Only the
excitement of the fight had been hold
ing him up this long. The faithful
trooper stopped.
eco ahead" cried Adair, "get out
of this mess. Leave me.'
The Negro started away. But, he
didn't want to leave. He looked back.
Adair's head was under water. The
Negro leaped back into the ditch and
dragged him out. Adair revived.
"Get out of this, do you hear" he
ordered. The Negro placed him against
tree and then slowly went away.
Thus Adair died, on the Mexican
battlefelds.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
THE LYNCHING RECORD FOR THE
FIRST SIX MONTHS OF 1916.

Tuskegee Institute, Alabama, July
l, 1916.
According to the record kept by the
Division of Records and Research of
the Tuskegee Institute there have been
during the first six months of the year
25 lynehings. This is 9 less than the
number, "a, for the same period last
year. Of those lynched % were Ne
groes and were Whites. In the first
six months of 1915 there were "a Ne
groes and 10 Whites lynehed.
Five or one fifth of those put to
death were charged with rape. Other
causes of lynehings were, slapping a
boy, brushing against a girl on the
street, insult, charged with attempting
to assist son accused of murder to
escape, robbing store, killing officers of
the law, and murder. Eight or almost
one third of the total lynehings oc-
Cured in the state of Georgia.
Monroe n. Work,
Division of Records and Research.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
How a Snake Swallows a Frog.

The method of swallowing Is a very
simple one. although If the frog be
large more than half an hour may be
consumed In the process. The two
bones of the lower jaw are separate
and capable of independent movement,
so the reptile loosens its hold upon one
side of its jaw. and. pushing that side
forward as far as possible, 1t drives the
teeth In again and draws the jaw back
to its original position. The result Is
that the prey is drawn down by the
movement. The process is then repeat
ed by the other half Of the jaw, thus
inevitably forcing the victim inward.
The snakes skin stretches enormously,
and the jaw Is. of course, dislocated.
but the extensible ligaments hold the
bones together.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
TUBERCULOSIS MOVEMENT IN
CREASED 1900 PER CENT IN IL
YEARS.
New Directory Lists 300 Agencies En-
gagged in Consumption Campaign.

Statistics made public today by The
National Association for the Study
and Prevention of tuberculosis show
that nearly 5000 agencies are now
listed in the fight against tuberculosis
in the United States, an increase of
1000 per cent. since 1904, when the
national warfare on this disease was
started. These figures are taken from
new tuberculosis directory Just issued
by the Association.
The list includes 557 sanatoria and
hospitals, 15S tuberculosis boarding
houses, 90 hospitals for the insane and
30 penal institutions making special
provision for tuberculosis, 455 dispen-
saries, 80 open air schools, and 1924
anti-tuberculosis associations and COM
mittees. To these are added l5S Cana
dian institutions and associations. max
ing total of 30S7. The directory also
gives a summary of municipal and
state legislation on tuberculosis.
When the National Association was
formed in 1904 and the first list of
agencies was printed, only 1s3 organ
izations and institutions were found.
The second edition of the Directory in
1908 reported $40 different agencies;
and l440 were listed in the third edi-
ton published in 1911. On the basis
of the latter figures, the number of
agencies in the anti-tuberculosis move
ment has increased lis per cent. in the
last FIVE years.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08

800 Negro officers of volunteers COM
missioned during the war with Spain,
there were men who would have meas
ured up well in an emergency.
Funston Picks Colored.
In the present trouble with Mexico,
the Colored regiment, 10th cavalry,
has won much praise in the newsPa-
pers and other publications. At the
outset of the punitive expedition, 1t
was the Negro troopers of this regi-
ment that made up Col. Dodd's flying
column in his chase for the bandit
Villa. For days, these Colored SOL
diers not only ate in the saddles, but
in them actually took what little sleep
they got.
In Dodd's Column.
Col. Dodd and his flying column have
on several occasions been almost within
reach of the Villistas, but were held
up because some new situation had
arisen. It is said that Gen. Funston
had chosen the Colored soldiers because
of his confidence in their physical en-
durance and determination. With
them, it was believed mountain passes
could be climbed, hard riding could be
accomplished, and without a moment IS
respite, Villa could be captured.
Fought to Last Ditch at Carrizal.
In spite of this, however, the Col
ored troopers have kept up their eour-
age. And, just as in previous wars,
they have in this Mexican affair
shown remarkable bravery, in some
cases almost recklessness. In CARR
zal many of them were slaughtered by
Carranzistas and IL were taken pris-
oners. Here they were ambushed
with their white officers, and. fought
to the last ditch. There is not word
from any of those superior in com
mand that could lead one to think that
disaster was due to lack of bravery OF
to the Colored men being thrown into
panic.-From, the Boston Traveller.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Elusive Zeppelins.

In his book "Zeppelins and Super
Zeppelins" R P. Hearne points out the
little known fact that 1t was French
man named Spiess, an Alsatian. who
about 1870 drew up a clever design for
a rigid airship and made an attempt to
patent 1t. In 1870 Count Zeppelin was
a dashing soldier in Alsace. and Mr..
Hearne thinks It more than likely that
he saw Spiess' plans and annexed the
idea.
The Zeppelin Is a most elusive object
despite it's size. 1t can leap upward in
the air at astonishing speed 1t can
drop rapidly. It can climb at a steep
angle. 1t can dive wonderfully, and
Il can nose from side to side with no
mean agility. To reckon its altitude at
night is most difficult, and to find its
range is a matter Of much nicely.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Gladiators.

The gladiators were originally male
factors who fought for their lives or
captives who fought for freedom. They
were first exhibited at the funeral cere-
monies of the Romans, 263 B. c., and
afterward at festivals about 215 B. @.
When Dacia was reduced by Trojan
1000 gladiators fought at Rome for 123
days in celebration Of his triumph. 1t
Is said that in the triumphs of Pompey
the Great 10000 fought through a
series Of many days. These combats
were suppressed In the east by the
Emperor Constantine about A. D. 325
and in the west by Theodore In A. D.
500.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Missed n Sale.

1T seems to me-" said a Main street
stationer, that everybody's writing or
debating letters these days. Nine Gus
toners out Of ten who come In here
ask for postage stamps.
"This morning a woman was here
browsing around. She looked over the
entire stock. 1 thought l had a Gus
toner. After she finished the rounds
she remarked: oh, nearly forgot
Have you any postage stampsP l said
yes and asked her how many she want
ed. She handed me a wrapped news
paper and asked how much thought
It ought to have to carry it to its destt
nation. / weighed the darned thing
and told her cent would be sufficient
is that alp she said. We'll, have a
one cent stamp in my pocketbook. l
thought it would come to more. Thank
you very much "-Richmond Times
Dispatch.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Sleeps Two PsrquIsites.

The sheep Is a chunk Of misguided
animation which Is afflicted with per
petual cold in the head and has the ap-
pearance Of always needing its nose
wiped, but it has the distinction Of be-
ing the only animal, man not excepted,
which can afford to wear strictly all
wool clothing the year round.
Probably the greatest accomplishment
Of the sheep Is getting itself lost in
snowstorm, at which 1t Is such a sue
cess that a number Of famous painters
have put in lot of time painting pic
lures Of sheep working at this.-Farm
and Fireside.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
coLoRED PEOPLES PROGRESS.

A new race history, soon to be
placed on the market at $1.50; an in
spring volume, showing the wonderful
advancement of the Colored American,
reads like magic, so rapid has been
their progress in every department-In-
dustry, Science, Art, Religion, Litera-
ture. Imparts practical suggestions
for self-improvement and teaches the
way to success. The publishers, Austin
& Jenkins Co., Washington, D. c., are
now placing agents. Anybody can sell
SECURE THE AGENCY AT ONCE by
getting a fine prospectus FREE for
10 cents in postage. AGENTS make
$1,000 per day. It sells on sight.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
The TreadmiIl.

The treadmill was invented thousands
Of years ago by the Chinese to raise
water for the irrigation Of the fields.
The invention, somewhat changed, was
introduced into England and other Eu-
ropean countries and used In prisons as
a mode Of punishment. One was erect.
ed at Brixton Jail In 1917 and soon aft
erward in other prisons. Toward the
end of the century, however, 1t fell into
disuSe
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
EIGHTH TROOPS SWING IN
CAMP TO "JAZ" BAND.
Negro Infantrymen Reach Texas Poor
ly Equipped, but in Fighting
Fettle.

San Antonio, Tex, July 6.-(Spe-
cial)-A report from sources close to
headquarters says that the Eighth ILL
nois infantry is to be moved down to
the border within five days. Gen Fun
ston would not confirm the report.
Over the hills of Shoemaker Mud, and
clear as sleighbells, through the sultry
valley came a tune that was freighted
with homesickness for Chicago troops.
Thirty-ffth street, with its tinkling
rama tams, had marched up overnight
behind those dun hillocks to the west
not at all. 1t was just the "Jaz
band" of the Eighth Illinois infantry
making light the steps to camp for the
Negro doughboys.
Uncheered, but watched with more
interest and curiosity than any troops
that have yet arrived, the Colored
regiment from Chicago, a long khaki
centipede, trailed into Camp Illinois
this afternoon and pitched its tents on
the one vacant allotment remaining on
the maneuver field.
Negroes Badly Equipped.
The regiment was the worst equipped
of any Illinois regiment. Maj. R. R.
Jackson, state representative from the
Third senatorial district, said not all
the men were supplied with pup tents,
and declared he did not know how they
would find shelter if rain came on.
Maj. Jackson didn't criticise any
one. He merely asserted that the regi-
ment was short many articles of equip
ment essential to its health and COM
fort.
In the Eighth regiment are preach
ers, "Jaz" musicians, postal clerks,
porters, bell hops, doctors, lawyers, and
day laborers, all here, just as are the
white men, on the country's business.
Their manner and compartment in
marching through San Antonio and
making camp could not be criticised.
Some members of the Eighth regi-
ment have seen service in Cuba, among
them Col. Denison and Capt. James H.
Crabtree, the latter a Chicago mail
carrier. Lieut.. Col. ]. H. johnson also
served in Cuba.
Not One Sick Case.
"We came through without a single
case of Sickness" said Col. Denison.
"The railroad accommodations were
bad. Some of the men had chair cars
all the way. But we re not making
any complaint"
Col. Denison said he would imme.
diately requisition the necessary equip
ment for his men, but it was too late
to issue tonight, and many of the pup
tents, which are not roomy for two,
quartered four and FIVE.
Camp Illinois has settled to hard
work. The First, Second, and Seventh
regiments, comprising the First brigade,
were out this morning for. ten mile
hikes. Each regiment went as a separ-
ate unit, under its colonel.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
ALI Ealsa.

Mr.. Grimes with great Indignation
I've finished with that fellow Skin
ner, absolutely finished with him. He's
a bad one. He has a lying tongue in
his head. Mrs. Grimes (sympathetic'
ally)-Dear me! And only yesterday
his wife told me that he had false
teeth.-London Tit Bits.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
ROOSEVELT Is SHOT THROUGH
BODY.

Iowa City, Ia.-George Roosevelt,
Colored, shot through the body, will
live, surgeons say at Iowa university
hospital, where the injured man was
brought from Brooklyn, Ia. He was
shot by his daughters sweetheart, Ed.
ward Anderson Of Des Moines. The
bullet entered his back, near the spine,
missed the heart and came out Of his
chest.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
CURTIS EMPLOYEES ORGANIZE.

Philadelphia.-The two hundred and
fifty Colored employees of the Curtis
Publishing Company recently organ
lied Booker T. Washington club, the
objects of which are to promote soeia-
bility, morality, industry and religion.
This company publishes The Ladies
Home Journal, Saturday Evening Post
and other popular and high class publ
cations
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
A BUST OF WASHINGTON UN.
YELLED AT TOPEKA.

A bust of Booker T. Washington was
unveiled at the recent commencement
of the Topeka Industrial Institute
The address was delivered by Rev.
Robert E. Ford, of Jacksonville, Fla,
and it was one of the finest tributes
ever paid to the worth and work of
DR.. Washington.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
A Female Veksran.

He-Isn't that General z. and his
daughter over there7 She-Yes. They
say that she has been through more en-
gagements than her old father.-Boston
Transcript.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Impertinent.

Mrs. Owens-John, the butcher from
where we used to live has found out
our address. He called with that last
years bill and was really impertinent
Owens (hotly)-Impertinent, was he!
Well, now, Wen just let him wait for
his money.-Exchange.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
CHIPS.

Sheriff John E. Traeger and a party
of friends motored last Saturday after
noon to Benton Harbor, Michigan,
where they quietly spent the Fourth
of July.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
His Sorrow.

The Merry One-Cheer up, old man!
Why don't you drown your sorrowf
The Sad One-Because she's stronger
than I am; and besides. It would be
murder.-Passing Show.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08

DR.. and Mrs. Theo R. Mozee, 51ss
8. Wabash avenue with a party of
friends, spent the Fourth of July at
Seottdale, Mich, where Mrs. Mozee
will remain for some time and later
on will be joined by her husband.
The broad ax., 1916-07-08
Speech and WRITING.

MANY people talk much more agree
ably than they write" said the literary
person.
"Yes." replied Mr.. Owington- "Ny
tailor does that."-Exchange.