davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28

"Humph, it's what might have ex-
pected of you!" she muttered. MI
Jabez has provided for me-"
81 hope you won't be in hurry to-
leave, Miss Burt" said Ned politely.
"Pll go when / get ready" she
snapped.
"Not till you've let my wife taste
| one of your apple pies" protested the
young man.
"YOu think I'm a fool sitting on the;
Barney Stone, 1 suppose" answered.
Miss Lucinda.
She disappeared two days later, but
Ned did not care, for that was his.
wedding day, and his wife, radiant in.
blue, was in the Pullman with him
about the time that Miss Lucinda was
packing her trunks.
They came back two weeks later,
more in love with each other than ever
before, and settled down to the prob
lem of housekeeping. The exchequer
had been exhausted by the trip. Still,
love can make money stretch a long
way, in spite of the statements of
cynics. But just when things were
really looking black, Ned was sur
| prised to receive a communication
from the lawyer, inviting him and his
wife to call.
Seated in the Office, scowling, was
Miss Lucinda Burt. Ned shook hands
with her and presented Nellie. Miss
Lucinda bowed as one might look for
a steel needle to bow.
"Sit down, Mr.. Lewis" said the
| lawyer cordially. "Mrs. Lewis, pray
| take this chair. It is now my duty to
read to you the remaining clause of
your uncle's will. They amount, in
brief, to this: Three calendar months
after the testator's death the funds
which he willed, and has donated to
| the Home for Incurable Horses, are
withdrawn from the trustees. Your
uncle felt that with the extension of
the good work of the Society for Pre-
vention of Cruelty to Animals, the
need for this organization lapses.
| Consequently, the funds return into
your uncle's legacies. Half of these
| are W ~ 1AlSS AOuA liz
remainder, not being willed to any
body, go to yourself, under your clause
of the testament. The sum is seventy
five thousand dollars, half to Miss
Burt and half to you"
81 get thirty-seven thousand five
hundred? gasped Ned.
eyes, in the event of your not mar
rying Miss Burt. Otherwise the
Home for Incurable Horses would re-
main endowed. l think, to be frank,
that your uncle was perpetrating q
little joke on you, Mr.. Lewis. He
smiled when he dictated these
| clauses"
"He nearly choked to death over
his apple pie when he read them to
me-" said Miss Burt, smiling.
| And somehow the steel needle as
pect had so entirely disappeared that
Nellie ran to her and Rugged her.
"You knew, you dear old thing" she
cried.
eyes, I knew" admitted Miss Burt.
'Mr. Jabez wanted to get even with
Mr. Ned for having quarreled with
him, and-and I was married twenty
years ago, and I'd never take Sec
Ond. never, and-and I'll go home
with you and make you one of my
| pies.'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
He Saw the Elephant.

The home of William G. Irwin, a
Columbus banker, is famous for its
sunken gardens and on Sundays people
come from every direction to visit the
place, Mr.. Irwin leaving the gates
open and making the visitors welcome
In the garden is bronze elephant
about one-half life size. 1t seems to
have provided the basis for this story
A man employed in Columbus fac
tory was going to his work when a
woman who is a stranger in Columbus
accOSted him.
Can you direct me to the sunken
gardens?" she asked.
The man gave her the necessary
directions and was about to start on
when she asked another question.
Can you tell me whether the ami
mails are in the garden nOw?" she
wished to know.
yes" the man answered after a
moments delay, Eyes, I think they are.
At least I saw the elephant there when
1 came past. Indianapolis News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28

NEW YORK, N. Y.-Not long ago a
man came to me who was nearly half
a century old and asked me to give
him a preliminary examination for
life insurance. l was astonished to
find him with the blood pressure of Il
boy of 20 and as full of vigor, vim and
vitality as a young man; in fact a
young man he really was notwithstand-
ing his age. The secret he said was
taking irOn-nuXated iron had filled
him with renewed life. At 80 he was
in bad health; at 46 careworn and
nearly all in. Now at so miracle of
vitality and his face beaming with the
buoyancy of youth. AS l have said a
hundred times over, iron is the great
est of all strength builders. If people
would only throw away patent medi-
cines and nauseOuS connections and
take simple nuXated iron, 1 am con-
vinced that the lives of thousands of
persons might be saved, who now die
every year from pneumonia, grippe,
consumption, kidney, liver and heart
trouble, etc. The real and true cause
which started their diseases was moth
ing more nor less than a weakened
condition brought on by lack of iron in
the blood. Iroa Is absolutely neceS-
sary to enable your blood to change
food into living tissue. Without it, no
matter how much or what you eat,
your food merely passes through you
without doing You any good. You don't
get the strength QUE of it and as con-
sequence you become weak, pale and
sickly looking just like plant trying
to grow in a soil deficient in iron. If
you are not strong or well you owe it
to yourself to make the following test :
See how long you can work or how far
you can walk without becoming tired.
Next take two five-grain tablets of Or
binary nuxated iron three times per
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Uncle Jabez's
Joker
3AXe
By
GEORGE MUNSON

Copyright. 1916. by w. G. Chapman.)
II leave the remainder of my world
ly goods to my only nephew, Edward
Lewis, with the prOvisO that, unless
he shall marry my hOusekeeper, Miss
Lucinda Burt, within three calendar
months. it shall revert to the said
Home for Incurable Horses at Lyons"
The lawyer folded up the will. "The
remaining clauses am not at liberty
to diValge," he remarked. 'They deal
solely with other legacies and have no
reference either to Mr.. Lewis or to
Miss Burt
Ned listened in disgust and horror.
He had had a serious quarrel with
his unc3e a month before the old mans
suddeA death, and had left the house
where he had spent the better part OF
his kfe, since his father died. And
grabbed old Uncle Jabez had humil-
lated and tainted him in this, his last
document.
For Miss Lucinda Burt was fifty if
she was day, and not pretty at that.
She had been his uncle's faithful
housekeeper for twenty years, and she
made wonderful apple pies. In fact
Ned's uncle had advised him to marry
her m the strength of this accomplish
ment alone. But Ned had not taken
Uncle Jabez seriously. Who would?
To add to the young mans troubles
he was desperately in love with pretty
Nellie Gray. the stenOgrapher of his
uncle's business partner. He had
hardly a penny saved, though he now
had a good position. And his uncle's
twenty thousand meant lot to him.
AS for Miss Burt, she shifted con
temptHeusly-she was a strong-minded
womaa-and came over to Ned.
I'm willing to marry you" she
said, "tO please Mr.. Jabez. He al
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Trade Secrets in Paper Making

Probably the one substance that can
be readily utilized for paper making,
and which. nevertheless, is not used,
is the papyrus reed, from which paper
takes it's name. But even this is not
certain, for the processes used in the
production of certain kinds of paper
are trade secrets. Thus the methods
employed to produce the thin, tough,
opaque variety known as "Oxford India
paper" have never been divulged. II
was first made at the Clarendon Press
(England) paper mills in 1875, and
was used for printing an edition of the
Bible.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Like A Boy at SO Bubbling Over
With Vitality Taking Iron Did 1t
Doctor says Neated Iron greatest of all strength builders
Often increases the strength and endurance of delicate,
nervous folks 200 per cent in uveeks time

day after meals for two weeks. Then
test your strength again and see for
yourself how much you have gained.
have seen dozens of nervous, rundown
people who were ailing all the while,
double their strength and endurance
and entirely get rid of all symptoms OF
dyspepsia, liver and other troubles in
from ten to fourteen days time simply
by taking iron in the proper form. And
this after they had in some cases been
dOctOring for months without obtaining
any benefit But don't take the old
forms of reduced iron, iron acetate or
tincture of iron simply to save a few
cents. You must take iron IN a form
that can be easily absorbed and as
simulated like nuXated iron if You want
it to do you any good, otherwise it may
prove worse than useless. Many an
athlete or prize-fighter has won the day
simply because he knew the secret of
great strength and endurance and filed
his blood with iron before he went in
to the ARRAY, while many another has
gone down to inglorious defeat simply
for lack of iron.-E. Sauer, M. D.
NOTE - Nuxated iron, recommended
above by DR.. Sauer is not patent medi-
cine nor secret remedy, but one which Is
well known to druggists and whose iron
constituents are widely prescribed by emil
nent physicians everywhere Unlike the
older inorganic iron products, 1t is easily
assimiated, does not injure the teeth
make them black, nor upset the stomach;
on the contrary it is a most potent rem
edy in nearly all forms of indigestion, as
we'll as for nervous, rundown conditions.
The manufacturers have such great oon-
fidence in NuXated Iron that they offer tn
forfeit $4,000 to any charitable institution
If they cannot take any man or woman
under GO who lacks iron and increase
| their strength 200 per cent. or over in four
weeks time, provided they have no seri-
Gus organic trouble; They also offer to
refund your money IL it does not at least
double your strength and endurance in
ten days tipe 1t is dispensed by most
druggists. If your druggist or general
store is without supply, ask them to
get 1t for you.-Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28

A sanitary guard has been invented
to prevent persons handling spigOt cut
lets.
No less than y,0CJ inventions have
been submitted TO the naval board in
seven months.
A brilliant and permanent green can
he produced from the juice of the stalk
and leaves of nettles and is used to
i've wooden stuffs.
A patented rubber substitute is made
by mixing gelatin with glycerin and
a solution of camphor in acetone and
treating the mass with sulphur.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28

ways wanted it. He said my apple
pies would make q man of you, and
if it's humanity possible for any wOm-
an to make a man of you I'm willing
to try. But don't talk about love to
mer'
With which she gathered up her
skirts and fiounced out of the room.
Ned was not likely to talk of love to
her. They had never got on together.
Miss Burt's temper was what is Gus
tomary in strong minded women, and
is politely labeled uncertain"
The thought of marrying Miss Burt,
twenty years his senior, was the most
repulsive one that had ever come into
the young mans head. The thought
of Nellie was always with him. Now
Nellie was not in the least strong
minded. She was as charming and
feminine as she could be, and they
loved each other to distraction.
But even at thirty Ned had not
wholly gagged the ways of women.
NeiYie learned of the will almost as
soon as it was read, and Ned, calling
to break the news and announce his
eternal fidelity, was amazed to find
Nellie i'm tears.
Go on and marry her. then" she
sobbed 81 always knew you didn't
care anything for me-"
But, dearest" protested Ned, "this
isn't right. 1 came to tell you that /
love you and want you"
Yves, you can say that we'll enough"
wept Nellie. "I'm not going to ruin
your Rife prospects. Go on and marry
her. and be happy with her."
Nellie. won't you listen to reason?'
pleaded the young man.
ST am reasonable" reterted Nellie.
"Why should your uncle have put that
absurd provision into his will unless
he knew that you and that Burt wom-
an cared for each other"
Because he was mean old cur
mudgeon." shouted Ned, at last be
ginning to grow angry. Because he
knew 1 hated the woman and he want
ed TO have his revenge on me in
death. That's why"
His anger Gained Nellie little; II
showed her that at least she had the
mower to awaken some emotion in him.
even If it was not love.
'I want you TO marry her. Ned.
she sobbed. "Then 1 will wait for you
all nv life. Maybe she'll die some
day. She can't live to be more than
ninety. and then you'll be seventy and
7 shall no SiNtV-tw0"
Ned patted her cheek indulgently
Dear. you are going to marry me, and
you are going to do it sOon," he said
I'm going to get the license tomor
row."
"Nedr she cried. SIT is absurd tC
talk in that way"
"rm going to-" answered Ned
"What are you going to wear for go
ing away in, Nellie?"
Blue" sobbed Nellie, sinking into
her lovers arms.
Ned broke the news to Miss Lucinda
that evening, and whatever hopes OF
matrimony he may have shattered, al
least she took the news philosophic
ally.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
The Rush Hours.

at tried to get you for two hours last
night. but central kept telling me the
line was busy"
what time did you try?"
Between seven and nine o'clock"
"Oh, shucks, there's no use trying to
get our phone then. I've got two daugh-
tiers old enough to have admirers"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Rubber Boots, Pocket Size.

4 pair of rubber boots so light that
they may be rolled up and carried in
the pocket is principally designed for
Scientific American. For wading
through streams they are worn over
the leather shoes, affording oil the pro-
lection of the heavy boots without the
inconvenience of the latter while on
the way TO and from the fishing
ground. The boots are made OF pure
gum, fashion lined and have an cles-
tic top, thus fitting tightly around the
leg.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28

A military tribunal in Yorkshire,
England. has exempted a man describ-
ing himself as sexton, gravedigger,
grocer. wheelwright, joiner and assist
ant overseer.
The shortest amendment to the
United States Constitution is the
eighth, containing but 16 words, as fol
lows: Excessive bail shall not be
required, nor excessive fines imposed,
nor cruel and unusual punishment in
flicted." The sixteenth, or income
tax amendmRnt, is SET down in but
SO words.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Musings of a Modern Maid.

To woman the first kiss is merely
Loves prologue-to a man it is more
often Loves valedictory.
A man goes through life searching
for the woman who will be the great.
est inspiration to him-and ends by
marrying the one who is the greatest
enigma TO him.
1t is not when a girl takes a soul,
full interest in his tastes and opinions
that man need tremble for his free
dom. but when she begins to take a
vital interest in the way he parts his
hair.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
THOUSANDS HAVE KIDNEY
TROUBLE AND DON'T KNOW IT

Weak and unhealthy kidneys cause so
much sickness and suffering and when
through neglect or other causes. kidney
trouble is 2 .rmitted to continue. serious
results may be expected.
Your other organs may need attention.
but your kidneys should have attention
first because their work is most important.
If you feel that your kidneys are the
cause Of your sickness or run down con.
dition commence taking DR.. Kilmer's
Swamp-Root. the great kidney. liver and
blade der remedy. because if it proves to be
the remedy you need and your kidneys
begin to improve they will help all the
other organs to health.
PrevaIency of Kidney Disease.
Most people do not realize the alarm
ing increase and remarkable prevalency
Of kidney disease. While kidney dis
orders are among the most common dis
eases that prevail, they are almost the
last recognized by patients, sVho usually
content themselves sVttA doetorfng the
effects, while the original disease con-
stantly undermines the system.
SPECIAL NOTE-You may obtain a sa
ten cents to DIR. KIlmer & Co., Bingham1
to prove the remarkable merit of this me
valuable information, containing many OF
from men and women who say they found
in kidney, liver and bladder troubles. III
well known that our readers are advised tt
Kilmer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y. When
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
MUCH In LITTLE

Philadelphia has 100000 school chill
dren.
China yearly imports 200,0O0,OOO
gallons of kerosene.
Old Sampson, an Indian, is dead af
one hundred and six, in Delta, Cal.
Hopgkong ostriches in South Africa
are Matched in incubators.
A bed that folds into wall and is
hidden by pair of doors is the idea
of q Colorado inventor.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Turn About.

Mrs. Knagg-I wish you wouldn't
talk in your sleep so much. 1t dis
turbs me. l never talk in my sleep.
Mr.. Knagg-I know, my dear. But
YOU have to rest your vocal organs at
times and 1 really ought to exercise
mine,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
Fatal Kindness.

Minnie-So sorry to hear of your
motor accident!
Lionel-Oh, thanks; it's nothing. Ex-
meet to live through many more.
Minnie-Oh, but l hope not Gin
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28
A Trial Will Convince Anyone.


Thousands of people have testified
that the mild and immediate effect Of
Swamp Root, the great kidney. liver and
bladder remedy, is soon realized and that
it stands the highest for its remarkable
results in the most distressing cases.
Symptoms of Kidney Trouble.
Swamp-Root is not recommended for
everything but if you suffer from annoy
ing bladder troubles. frequently passing
water night and day, smarting or irrita-
ton in passing, brick-dust or sediment.
headache. backache. lame back. dizzi'
ness, poor digestion, sleeplessness. nerv.
business, heart disturbance due to bad
kidney trouble, skin eruptions from bad
blood, neuralgia, rheumatism, ldmbago.
bloating, irritability, worn-out feeling.
lack of ambition, may be loss Of flesh or
sallow complexion. kidney trouble in its
worst sorm may De stealing upon you.
Swanp.Root Is Pleasant to Take.
If you are already convinced that
Swamp-R Root is what you need, You can
purchase the regular ffty-cent and one
dollar size bottles at all drug stores.
mple size bottle of Swamp-Root by enclosing
on, N. Y. This gives you the opportunity
dicine. They will also send you book of
the thousands of grateful letters received
Swamp-Root to be just the remedy needed
lie value and success of Swamp-Root are SO
|, send for sample size bottle. Address Dr..
writing be sure and mention this paper.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-12-28

Queen Maud may find her country
involved in the great war, owing to
Germany's destruction of Norwegian
shipping. She was the third daughter
of King Edward VII of Great Britain
and married King Haakon in 1896.
This is a new and hitherto unpub-
lished photograph of the queen.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1916-05-19
succesa secret Revealed.

He had that wellgroomed, wellfed,
looking-after-himself appearance that
goes with prosperity and the corner
hangers on made way for him as he en-
tered o cigar store. He wore large
diamond ring and another fine dia-
mond blazed from his scarfpin.
He approached the counter. tossed
down dime. and called for highly
advertised brand Of five-cent Smokes"
When the box was thrust before him
he carefully picked out two, stuffed
them in his pocket, and started out
the door.
One Of the Dangers on looked after
him and shook his head:
Wearing diamonds like that and
smoking nickel cigars!"
The purchaser caught he remark,
and turned quickly.
YES" he called back, "and that's
how he got those diamonds"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1916-05-19
COULD NOT
STRAIGHTEN UP
Had 10 Go All Hl.=rreeAA A Ore: =. and
Suffered Great Pain in
Sides and Back.

Sulphur Springs, va.-Mrs. J. M.
Sprinkle, of this place, writes about
two years ago this coming spring,
got into awfully bad health. Had been
married only short time, and my
health was not 80 good after my mar
rage as 1t had been before, and kept
getting worse all the time. / was 60
ing down hill in health, could only
drag around. My friends recommended
that ! try Cardui. tried various rene
dies which did me no good. ! simply
moped all the time and felt sick all
over. So began using Cardui and
in a short time I was greatly i'm
proved; after the use of one bottle was
able to do my work.
Before starting it, I couldn't
straighten up to save me; had to go
when went all bumped over, suffered
great pains In the abdomen, sides and
back worse than anywhere. After
the use OF one bottle, / had no more
pain at all. It is also a fine tonic.
The cure has been permanent, and !
have had no trouble since, neither had
to have doctor or take any medicine
since. 1t built me up in health and
strength"
II you suffer from any Of the all
ments 80 common to women try
Cardui, the woman's tonic. For sale
by all druggists. Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1916-05-19
Militia Is Prepared.

According to Gov. Tom c. Rye, the
Tennessee national guard can be mob
ilized for service on the Mexican Dor
der within five days. Gov. Rye said:
"The Tennessee guard comprises
two regiments of infantry, one troop
Of cavalry, one field hospital, one am
bulance company-a> grand total Of
about 1,700 men. All who could pass
the federal requirements would re-
spond. Five days are required for
mobilization and two weeks additional
added for federal examination and en-
rollment before departing for the bor-
der"
In view of the call for militia for
three border states by President Will
son and the increasing delicacy Of
the Mexican situation, the adjutant
general is In readiness to meet any
call that might be made on the guard
Of this state. There is general be-
lief in military circles that it will not
be many days before general militia
call Is sent out, and in this case Ten.
nessee would be ready to answer with
out delay.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1916-05-19
SENATE ADJOURNS .
FOR CONVENTION
PROSECUTION HAS NEARLY COM.
PLETED CASE AGAINST JUDGE
JESSE EDcINGToN.
SAYS MILITIA PREPARED
Rye Announces That Tennessee Could
Furnish 100 Guardsmen for Ser
vice In Mexico-Call Is Elk.
pectee BY Officials.
Nashville.


The high court of impeachment
hearing the charges against Judge
Jesse Edgington of Memphis on May
IL adjourned until Thursday, May 18,
at $3.50, in order that the senator's
may attend the Democratic state con-
vention.
With the adjournment the prosecu-
ton has about completed its case,
though it is probable that several
dispositions would be introduced.
There is some doubt as to whether
the prosecution has the constitutional
right to introduce these dispositions.
and this point will be threshed out
when the senate reconvenes.
One of the last witnesses to be in
troduced by the state before adjourn.
ment was T. G. Tate, former sheriff
of Shelby county. Tate was called
to testify as to Judge Edgington's Of
fetal conduct in handling criminal
cases and with reference to his al
legged favoritism for Clarence Fried
man, Memphis lawyer who had a
large practice in division one of the
Shelby county criminal court.
Tate testified that he took office
Sept. /, 1910, and served four years.
During that time he was frequently in
the criminal court and said the re-
lationship between Judge Edgington
and Clarence Friedman, attorney,
was very close and marked" Tate
said that he observed that Judge Ed
gington favored Friedman, and that
very few of Friedman's clients we're
ever brought to trial.