davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
SIDE possibly from the position
of President OF the United
\ States, at the present moment.
fha ioh Of chnnaina cantelonpa

~ States. at the present moment,
the Job OF choosing oanteloups
% the most responsible in the world.
And naturally the most difficult
Canteloups can break up the home in
two ways.
First, by actually killing the husband
or wife who eats them. and, secondly,
BY being the basis for divorce.
Coutrariwise they can seal domestic
BLISS. for a man would think twice and
q women three times before dispensing
with the services Of one who was infall-
ible az q chooser OF perfect canteloups.
For be II known that the canteloup
10 like . woman-you can't depend upon
It to be what It seem. to be.
The greenest looking canteloup. which
you choose after various thump!ngs
and listeninss. and which you plan to
eat day after tomorrow, lie the dead
ripe one which passes away on the first
day Of purchase.
me soft-yeliow roughenad sphere
which you choose. so that Malcolm or
Percy can eat It at once. when he
comes home from the awfuss. IL In
variably green.
Malcolm will look at IL. and say
"Ahahahahah." ana perhaps bestow q
kiss. Then he will settle down ana
attack the mellow tuber. (Funkand-
wagnalls says: Cantaloup; sec musk
melon And musmelon IL the word
is the juicy edible. gourd-like fruit OF
q trailing herb; cantaloup.s so We can't
call It a tuber. Ihis Il q great ais
appointment)
,oApy sss ana sh
that II Is green. rne spoon bounds
from It's Shiny sides, the smell tan
talizes.. but the green wall cannot DO
chipped.
rhen Malcolm does one OF two things.
He either eats the thing in silence and
dies Of acute indigs ,s o, ,,s else he he
case, provided she has a good stomach
and a sense Of humor. she will calmly
eat tho tucy, edible. gourd-like fruit OF
the t. h.. but II not possessed OF either
she win take steps toward divorce.
A wife never has q good digestion
gether. That doesn't infer however.
that women with poor digestions are
always cranky. They are often very.
very silent.
In view of the fact that II is difficult
to choose a good canteloup we suggest
a method for choosing poor opes.
NJ
Sort out oil Of the ones you th&sk are
very good for your purpose, and take
one of them. They are bound to be
bad.
Jane came IN today aud said that she
had just met her first beau on the
street Just notU. She said that he told
her he tods going to be married, and
added that his nose todsnt half as long
as she used to think u pds.
Over in Indiana man fell uncon-
sctous while beo ting rugs.
There's no use In talking. II II hy-
ing in the face OF nature for men to do
women's work. or women to do mens
work. Homework is too strenuous for
any man. They should keep out Of the
rougher home Jobs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
Pechita.

cups Of maple or very brown
sugar.
cup OF cream,
pounds of chopped English wal
nuts,
! teaspoon of vanilla.
Boil the sugar and cream very hard
for twenty minutes, stirring con-
stantly. Cook until sugared around
the edge. Add the nuts. leaving the
vanilla as the last ingredient. Beat
we'll before putting In pans to cool.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
Office Wit.

Our society editor said q couple mar
rfed at 1850 o'clock In the morning,
and that she had never hear OF such
a barbaric custom before.
Our Theodore, the politician, came
back briskly with the query: why
not? They electrocute and hang folks
early in the morning"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
In Re Dance.


As final swan song to the II Hate
10 Dance" etc. series. we publish a
verse by our highly esteemed contrIbn-
tor. Turneull. entitled anything you
want to call II.
hate to,dance with a big fat slob,
Who slumps around so slow;
But give me the one who Is on the Job
With the light fantastic toeI
The slender. graceful. modest maid.
With blush on her comely face,
Who cuddles right in, and Is not afraid
or the dancers. light embrace!
hate to dance with the Gabby One.
With the odoriferous breath,
Who hangs on your neck like she
weighs a ton.
And talks you half to DEATH
But eve me the girl in the merry
&nhrl.
Who doesn't say a thing.
And smiles alright when you hug her
tight,
AS you dance the pigeon wing"
TURNBULLL
THE CONDUCTOR
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
Fashion
Letter
By MARGARET MASON.

Her pretty puffy petticoat
First seems to make Priscilla float.
But in a crowd such breadth to tote
Now seems to make her 'soar" you'll
ncte.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
Gossip.

Isn't it funny that your husband. or
male office running mate. Is always the
one to retail the very latest piece Of
gossip with the remark that II prob
ably started with the women servants
and went from thence to tho wives,
and. "of course. you know what awful
gossips women arev'
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23

The truth is that men gossip exactly
as much as do women. the only differ
ence being that women gossip openly
openly with men.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
THE TIMES DAILY MAGAZINE PAG E
More Ways
OF Breaking
Upthe Horne

Choosing Canteloups Is an
Art, and Just as Much Of
a Home Breaker as Act
ing, Painting, Club Visit
ing, and Playing Golf
When and When Not to
Trust the Clever Little
Canteloup-How to Sc
lect a Bad Canteloup.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23
Paralyzed With Curiosity.

sunshine. the loveliest yellow OF.
CANDY imaginable.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23

Over in Indiana a man fell uncon-
sctous while eating rugs.
There's no use In talking. II II ny
ing in the face OF nature for men to do
women's work. or women to do men 8
work. Homework is too strenuous for
any man. They should keep out Of the
rougher home Jobs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-23

had just met her first beau on the
street Just notU. She said that he told
her he tods going to be married, and
added that his nose todsnt half as long
as she used to think u sDds.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15

HONEYMOON WITH HIS FOLKS.
Go to friends for advice:
To woman for pity;
To strangers for charity:
To relatives for nothing.

Every young man means well, no
doubt, when he urges the girl whom
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15

has been left clear of breces in order
that the hay may be gotten in and out
witho ut interference In the drawing
prepared by the department the top
seven feet at the sides are covered, but
II desirable the whole building may be
inclosed.
Since this hay shed is 70 be perma-
nent, it should be located on we'll
drained grOu1d and in situation as
convenient to as many fields as pos
sible. The plans call for concrete piers
in order to avoid the rotting of timbers
from contact with the ground. The
frame is strongly braced and intended
to Withstand any storm except a
cyclone. AS fire is the chief danger to
building of this kind, lightning rods
should be installed. This will lessen
the danger from this source.
The cost of such structure will
vary, of course, with the situation and
local conditions. With lumber at $50
thousand, however, it is estimated
that the materials in a Intersection
shed, such as that shown in the Illus
tration, % feet by 4S feet, should cost
little more than $500. A shed of this
size may be expected to hold about 60
tons of hay. Including the cost of la
Dor, the shed should be built complete,
with hay carrier and lightning rods,
for approximately $3.50.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
BUILDING FOR STORING ALFALFA OR OTHER KINDS OF Hay

(From the United States Department of
Agriculture.)
drawings for hay shed which is
to be part of the permanent farm
equipment have been prepared by the
office of public roads and rural engi-
neering of the department, and work
ing drawings, with bill of materials,
may be bad upon application to that
Office.
The construction OF this shed is such
that it may be built in as many Sec
lions, each 16 feet long, as are needed
to meet the different requirements of
individual farms. The width is % feet
and the height to the caves 20 feet,
with quarter-pitch gable roof. If the
building is more than three sections, or
4S feet long, there should be a hay
door in each end Each section. it is
calculated, has capacity of about
20 tons of average hay, the exact
capacity varying, of course, with the
kind of hay and its condition when put
in. With good alfalfa it may be pos
sible to put as much as Is tons into
each section. In case the build
ing is used for alfalfa .lean-to
for storing baled hay may be built on
one or both sides.
AS planned, the shed is of the maxi
mum width consistent with ease in
moving away the hay, and the interior
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
AVERAGE HAUL or PRODUCTS
Distance Placed at 6.5 Miles by De-
partment of AgricuIture-Good
Roads Are Needed.


The federal department of agricul-
ture states that the average haul of
farm products from field to market is
So miles.
The Importance of good roads needs
little more illustration than this. With
a solid roadbed, six-mile haul is
cheap and easy. With the roads
turned into mudholes, as they are
in many parts of our land at the
critical season, such a trip is fright
fully expensive and sometimes impos-
sibie.
One Southern paper, fighting for
better roads, publishes a photograph
OF a four-mule team hauling q single
bale of cotton-500 pounds-and stuck
in the mud less than mile from the
edge of the city. This is an excep-
ton, perhaps, but not a rare one.
There are thousands of cases in which
it costs more to get wheat from farm
to elevator than to carry it from the
elevator across continents and oceans
to the place where it is ground and
baked into bread.-Chicago Journal.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
Hard 70 sun.

The Neodesha Sun found this story
IN an Oregon paper. A man went into
business house and stated that his
wife had made up her mind to so back
to western Kansas Back there" he
explained, "she used to sit around and
sigh for a tubful of good soft rain
water in which to wash the clothes
and 1t became so tiresome l moved to
Oregon. We have been here two
months and now she has all the rain
water she can use and wants to move
back to Kansas to get the clothes
dried."-Kansas City Star.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
WHY PEDlGREES ARE USEFUL
Purebred Is Result of Careful SeIec-
ton and Use of Animals With
Strong Points.

An animal in some ways resembles
a river, which is the result of the COM
bining Of many streams. The animal
is the result of the combining of the
blood lines of parents, grandparents,
great-grandparents and so on. If one
OF the streams is muddy, though the
rest be clean, the whole river becomes
murky, and likewise one poor ances-
tor will weaken the animal. That is
why pedigrees are kept. They do for
the animal what keeping the muddy
stream from flowing into the river
does for the river. The purebred is
the result of careful selection and use
of the animals with strong points and
just as careful an elimination Of those
that could not add strength or quality.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15

ing Of real love to a woman-that il
is more precious by far than all the
wealth of the Indies. If she has mar
ried the first time for wealth and DO
sition. she never makes so fatal a mis-
take the second time.
Apropos of this subject. all of the
social world has been intensely excited
over the fact that one OF New York's
youngest and wealthiest and most
beautiful widows has given up prince
ly fortune and stepped out of marble
palace to wed the man of her choice.
Her late husbands will subjected her
to those conditions should she rewed.
The whole world wondered when a
young and handsome sutton appeared
upon the scene which way her choice
would turn-to the cold marble walls
with their wealth of paintings looking
down upon her, and the checks, each
one fortune in itself, which paid her
for remaining the dead multimillion-
aires widow, heaped up before her or
the warm-thrilling arms and eager
pulsing, responsive heart of the young
man who could not count his fortune in
anywhere like such colossal figures.
There was no struggle to decide.
Could the marble palace, the grand old
paintings, plates of gold, liveried serv-
ants and all the trappings of wealth
and the power of grand old name,
soothe heart signing for the clasp of
human hand whose magnetic touch
made her heart beat faster, a near
presence, dearer yet than all others,
that could turn loneliness into heaven
of cheeriness, light, joy and the love
which makes living worth while?
The one experience Of marrying for
wealth is enough for any woman. 1t
teaches her the grand lesson that love
which is God-given is not for barter or
sale; that it is priceless, the fathers
richest, most wonderful of blessings
with which he endows his children.
True love outweighs wealth every time.
Wealth can only procure worldly
things; it cannot buy love or live.
Love, returned, repays all sorrows 1t
is life's staff.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
|IISBAND Saved
| HIS WIFE
S'9ped Most Terrible Suf.
pg By Getting Her Lydia
l F n Vegeta-
BE Compound.
4 t .,aIa, Isxa'' =" After my little
Wy 0Vln two years ago | BEGAN srf-

-ITI-TTTTT1 fering with female
trouble and could
hardly do my work.
| was very nervous
but Just kept drag
glng on until last
summer when l got
&IBHwhere l could not do
my work. I would
have a chill every
day and hot flashes
and dizzy spells and
\ L.-,-my head would al
ny NY | got where I was almost
49,, 49, skeleton andhfe was a burden
a., '-1' Oae day my husbands stem
49,. \. my husband if he did not do
ss,;! M IoF ne | would not last lono
s,,s- IA : 70 70 get your medicine, S6be
N; /. I Flnkham S Vegetable Com.
81 ne, and after taking the first
Ssn'sl began TO improve. l con-
:. S, " a9d lhave never had anv
- ~'~1.e since. 7 fa.I -
g u " Ts ana your your remedies. They
slsT '-a' Doctors could not do
e'~lz e y praise it wherever l
49, q, I u lowERY, 4I9 Mon.
1, ,,s., Dsnison, Texas IS " '~OH-
81 L i suffering, est from any form of
-, 3 81 = hottie L of lydia E.
>eae. ' t.. Compound, and
~ Treatment witbo,7+ 80 80
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
INTERN MEN MAKE GARDEN
German SAfSers Relieve Monotony of
Existence by Raising Vege-
tables.

In order to relieve the monotony
of routine work in the tied-up German
steamships. officers and men have
turned gardeners and truck farmers
and have a fiourishing garden under
cultivation.
The vegetable garden is being cared
for by the officers and men of the
steamships Amerika and Cincinnati of
the Hamburg-American line, while the
rose and flower garden is carefully
weeded and looked after by the Off
GERS and men Of the North German
Lloyd liners, the Koln, Willehad and
Willekind.
Many varieties of flowers, including
oses, sunflowers, sweet peas, gerani-
ums and pansies are in bloom. In
the vegetable garden, corn, beans.
peas, beets, carrots and lettuce pre-
dominate, and the men are looking
for warm. sunny days to ripen them
Boston Post.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15

up the hay ought to bend his back
over the pitchfork and mop the sweat
from his brow.
A cover for the half-built stack may
save it from being soaked to the bot
tom by the heavy shower of rain.
Kicking the hay while it is damp re-
suits in mold and decay, destroying
the value of the hay as a feed.
1t pays to shelter the hay beneath a
good roof in barn or shed. The hay
that would be lost by the weather
would soon pay for the hay shed.
Piling the load of hay too high will
turn the wagon over, making extra
work in reloading. Make two loads
and save the trouble and labor.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15

Enthusiastically, adding: They love
you, dear, already quite as much from
your letters to them as for my sake"
The bride-to-be, seeing that he has his
heart set upon it, is reluctant to say
! him nay.
In the far-off boyhood home the old
| folks are greatly excited over the JOY
| ful intelligence that Charlie has really
! consented that the honeymoon Of his
| bride and himself shall be spent with
! them. They inspect the spare room
carefully. Are the old-fashioned fur
niture and the faded carpet good
| enough? Aunt Hester turns up her
nose at the query. IF she's sensi-
! BILE young woman, she will take things
| as she finds 'em. If she's an upstart,
you couldn't please her, if you refur-
| nished the place from top to bottom.
! My advice is to keep her in her place
| from the first minute she crosses the
threshold. If she sees she can boss
and can get the upper hand, you'll
| have trouble with her from the start"
| With this and sundry other warnings
ringing in their ears, the old couple
await the coming of the suspicious day
and the bride and groom with fear
and trembling.
Father goes to the station to meet
| them. Instead of the buXom young
woman they had somehow pictured
| her to be, he beholds a frail young
thing in bridal gray-from gray tulle
hat with its pale blush rose to the
smart pearl-gray boots and gray
gloves. The lovely apparition almost
| takes his mothers breath away. No
wonder such lovely girl had taken
her boys heart by storm. She feels
| q timidity about approaching and Of
/ fering Kiss to the beautiful city girl
even though she had just welded
| her Charlie.
| Aunt Hester frOwned her disapprov-
al of her on sight. She'll want to
sit right down and be waited on like
a queen" she whispered sharply in
her sister-in-law's ear. You'd better
! let me manage her." She led the
bride UP to her room to inspect it
while mother and son were crying and
laughing in the same breath in each
others fond embrace. Quite as soon
as Aunt Hester gets the bride alone,
she proceeds to take the starch out
of the stuck-up thing" as she men
tally phrases ii. "You won't find this
a hotel, an there's no maids to wait
on you, so you'd better be prepared to
do for yourself. We eat breakfast at
eight o'clock sharp, and you'd better
be on hand. If you want any eggs
cooked any new-fangled way, you'll
have to do the cooking of 'em. If it
rains, be sure to pull down those win
| dows. Goodnight"
The little bride does her best to
keep back her tears as Charlie strides
briskly into the room. Didn't you
love the old folks on sight, kid?" he
asks blithely, continuing: Il knew
you would. And isn't Aunt Hester the
dearest, kindest soul in the world?
We will have delightful honeymoon
here. Everyone will make it so pleas
ant for u.s.
The bride kept her own counsel. She
wasn't so sure about happiness. She
wished she hadn't consented to spend
her honeymoon with husbands rela-
tiveS.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
GIVING UP WEALTH FOR LOVE.

She to him will reach her hand,
And gazing in his eyes win stand,
And know her love and weep for glee
And cry: Long, long I've looked for
thee"
How much is love worth to the av-
erage young woman? That is the ques-
ton honest-hearted men have been
asking themselves the world over, in
all chimes and under every sun. Many
a poor youth. earnest of purpose,
whose life, heart and deeds were clean,
whose ambition was boundless and
whose honor none could gainsay, has
seen his love dream shattered by an
aged gray-heard crossing his sweet
hearts path. whose only claim to at
tention was his money bags.
No wonder such a youth loses all
faith in loves wondrous power, believ-
ing that the majority of feminine hearts
could be lured to loves bargain coun-
ter and be bought by the one who
could bid the highest amount of gold,
hard, soullesS gold.
1t may be earnestly and safely stated
that not one young girl among thou
sands would, of her own volition, pre-
fer gilded age to poor. but warm-heart-
ed youth and the love that satisfies.
ORGANIZATIONS relatives and illy-chosen
friends may influence and fairly
coerce many a girl TO give up a poor
lover for a wealthy one, but if left TO
follow out her own promptings of heart
her choice will always fall upon the
man who has gained her love.
This is especially true of young
widows. The girl dreams of love. not
knowing what she will miss if she ex-
changes it for the dross of wealth. The
widow knows full well the true mean
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
GIRLS ALONE ON VACATIONS.

| Self-reverence, self-know,edge, self-con-
These three alone lead life to sovereign
power.
Yet not for power (power by herself
would
| Come uncalled for), but to live by law,
Acting the law we live by without fear;
And. because right is right. to follow
Were wisdom in the scorn of conse-
quence.
No one longs more for vacation time
to roll around than the young girl who
is wagearner in office, shop or fac
tory. The hard treadmiIl of work has
stolen the roses from her cheeks and
the elasticity from her step. She
would have fortnight's rest free from
care.
| But can she go away from home
| alone? Her father says yes, of course
she can-why not? The right kind of
girl can take care of herself any
where and under all circumstances.
The mother is not quite so sure of that.
| She knows that it is the companions
with whom a young girl is brought in
|
contact during the summer vacation
trips that can make or mar her life
The chaperoned girl is not lonely for
want of comrades. The working girl
yearns for someone to speak to. In the
most famous hostelries or to the coun-
| try town inn comes the vampire wom-
an always ready to prey upon feminine
innocence. She ingratiates herself in
the good graces of girls who are alone
on their vacations, and therefore I'M
protected, and introduces them to a
class of young men they should not
know. 1t is she who beguiles them in
to the habit of staying out late at
night, to accept treats in the shape of
| sodas from these men who think it a
great lark to substitute something
stronger for the pink lemonade or soda,
laughing hilariously at the girls plight
and subsequent discontinue.
Girls going away alone on their va
cations cannot be too careful in regard
to forming new acquaintances, male or
female. Girls should be told at an
early age the necessity and RESPONSE
bilfty of guarding themselves and ward
| ing off danger in whatever form 1t may
come to them.
Women should take to heart the
warning regarding summer treats In
nine cases out of ten a man has no fur
Their intention than being gallant. The
tenth man may not be so noble and dis
interested in regard to the conse-
quences. 1t is not always possible for
a girl to find vacation accommodations
among friends or at place where she
can spend few pleasant days or
weeks for the small sum she can af-
ford to pay. Girls camps are boon
to girls who must go alone on their
vacation outings. There is always an
elderly woman or two of the highest
responsibility and a love for her duty,
to mother the girls and watch carefully
50 hat no eve lamb wanders astray
Under such chaperonage the hearts
/ of the anxious ones at home know no
worry. There is world of comfort in
knowing that girl is in safe company
that she can enjoy every moment of
her vacation and no harm assail her.
Rather than consent to let your girls
go alone on their vacation summer
outings to places you are not we'll ac-
Quainted with, send them to girls
camps.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-08-15
A Feminine Egotist.

Il consulted fortune teller the 9TH
er day." said the poor but proud young
man, "and she told me / was in love
with beautiful heiress, but she would
never marry me. 1t looks like 1 was
up against itp
"Oh, not necessarily" rejoined the
fair maid on the other end of the
sofa. mo fortune teller has ever
ben authorized to speak for me-"