New Britain herald., 1916-02-21
KENTUCKY COLONIES AND
OTHERS.

1 Everywhere in the United States 1 the Colonel has become a fixture; but 1 perhaps more so in the South than in any other section has he come into l his own. In Kentucky the Colonel stands in class by himself To take 1 the Colonels out of American life 1 would be to cut the heart strings of ] the nation. We love our Colonels. ] They are ours, first. last and all the time They are American institutions. No other nation has Colonels as we have They may have military men, those who wear the sword and Colonels as Colonel Watterson, Colonel House, and oh so many others, not forgetting old Colonel Sandusky Doc little in the famous melodrama of other days, "In Old Kentucky" And because we have so many ColOnels, because almost every town in the na- tion has it's Colonel, Americans are asked every now and then why this is so, where they all come from in short, Why is a Colonel?" And the Providence Journal sets out to eX- plain all the mysteries attendant upon this great question, as follows:
 "Of course, when The Colonel is mentioned, everyone knows who is meant, and it is not necessary to give initials or say anything about Oyster Bay. By a similar condition of super eminence among the members of his tribe, the late Jumbo might have been spoken of as The Elephant. But i there is another Colonel of almost l equal distinction, he of Louisville and the Courier ournal, and when he speaks on the subject it is surely with an ample authority. Colonel Waiter son thus explains why Colonels are:
 "In the South, especially, and in l
 Kentucky, more especially, a man
 becomes a colonel at about forty
 seven unless he is of wilful,
 rebellious, obstreperous disposi-
 ton and inclined to stand up for 1
 admitted, but rarely exercised, 1
 
 Colonel
 There are, of course, many 1
 colonels under forty. When
 Governor is inaugurated he has
 the power to appoint staff col
 onels. A Governor who does
 not appoint as colonels such
 of his constituents as he
 knows by name is lacking in
 the punctliousness which distin-
 guishes the practical politician.
 Thus many young men who would
 have been 1eftenants' if they had
 adopted a military career are
 made cOlOnels in civil life An
 other predisposing cause of pre-
 mature colonelcy is the tendency
 of some men who become fat
 early in life. A man who meas
 ures as much as forty inches a
 the waistline, and has not been
 convicted of felony, is entitled even obliged, to be called 'ColoneI before he is forty.
 "Wherever there is due regard for the fitness of things and a fine sense of discrimination in human differ ences, it might be said certain men become Colonels along toward middle age merely by natural right. It is as the old negro in slavery days said: All his men white folks were Colonel because it jest nachly runs in the blood an they can't help it.
 "'ColoneP in the real sense implies a state of mind arising from an ac- quired dignity of manner coupled with moderate fullness of years. As the designation of definite status in nili- tary affairs it is an arbitrary and mar row term and it has been officially bestowed as an honorary title upon so many thousands without even the form of a military connection that it has become largely of a hollow sig nificance. The real COlonels are not necessarily those who hold dominion over regiments, or those who have been made ornamental appendages of gubernatorial dignity, but they arc the men with whom colonelcy just nat uraly runs in the blood. The official Colonel would often pass unnoticcd in q crowd, but everyone instinctvely recognizes the natural-born Colonel, although he may never have carried even a secret society sword"
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