The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1916-12-11
FACTS PRESENTED IN FUN
Continued from Second Page)

NOFIn american REVIEW Is good
enough for me; good day!
Another travesty entitled the
"Ghost Skit" was cast in a "Spook
Court" with a court sitting in Judge
nent on the astral spirits of aspi-
rants for positions in the new cabi-
net Spirits of Secretary of Com
merce Redfeld, Henry Ford, Post
master General Burleson, Col House,
Secretary Tumulty, Vance McCor-
mick, Frank L. Polk, Counsellor to
the state department and others ap-
peared, all to be rejected by the
judges. The announcer heralded the
spirit of Henry Ford, the astral body
of the Michigan manufactures arriv-
ed rafting lot of tin, cans"
Chief Judge-The music is familiar.
What seek you, Mr.. Fordi
Ford want to be secretary of the
treasury.
Chief Judge-Why
Ford-So / can find out how to
make money.
Chief Judge Warden, sweep out
the padded cell for Mr.. Ford.
Announcer-The spirit of Joseph p.
Tumulty, secretary to the president.
Chief Judge-W When did you acquire
an astral body, Mr.. Tumulty?
Tumulty-About a week before
election.
Chief Judge-You mean you want
to hold your present job with your
physical body and get into the cabi-
net with your astral body?
Tumulty-Guilty, judge.
Chief Judge Suppose the cabinet
only pays an astral salary?
Tumulty-Then hand it to some
body else. Both my astral body and
myself are practical men.
The spirit of Secretary of War Bak-
er next appeared.
-Mercyl 1t is the hero
of Valley Forge-the Hon. Newton
d. Baker.
Chief Judge-Greeting, Mr.. Baker,
in the name of George Washington
and his army. What news from the
| border?
Baker-Aw. forget that. The cleo
ton is over.
Chief Judge What! No more
plots? Then what do you want?
Baker, want job on the SUI
preme Court; I'm from Ohio.
Chief Judge-Ohio was not close
enough, Mr.. Baker. What else?
Baker-Then I'll stay where I am
won't resign.
Chief Judge-Does the president
know that?
Baker-Sh-h. Right under your
belt, I'm afraid not.
Chief Judge-Why don't you tel
him?
Baker-No; you tell him. Be nice
judge and. tell him. But don't say il
came from me. You know he just
might
Chief JUDGE know. He often
does. Stand back Mr.. Baker.
Counsellor Polk of the state de-
partment appeared in quest of secre-
tary Lansing's job.
Chief ,Judge-Why even Bryan
couldn't hold that.
Polk-I know; but they gave him
the Hiram johnson.
Chief Judge-What's the Hiram
Johnson?
Polk-Ask Hughes.
Chief Judge-We can't find him.
Polk-Well, its a lemon, grown in
California.
Another sketch was a travesty on
the special train load of Eastern wo-
men who campaigned in the West
fer Hughes. The scene was laid in
Kidderville, Kansas, where the "Mil-
l;onaire special" arrived amid town of
fcials, townsmen and native women.
The suffragists aroused the jealousy
of the native women when the home
men-folk followed the gayly dressed
Fasteners to the train, and one of
the native women, addressing her de-
serted sisters, exclaimed:
First Woman-Sovereign women of
Kidderville: Our men folks has de-
serted us to trail after them stuck up,
goggle-eyed, just-fawncey, shilly-
shally fumps from the effete East.
Now, my idea is to teach them les
son. Let US rise as one mani
mean one woman-and show them
weak kneed men who the real politi-
clans are. AS William Allen White
said: 'Theshand that churns the but
ter is the hand that rules the world. .
Come, on, women; not a man in Kid
derville gets a hot meal or clean
shirt until he promises to vote against
the monkey dinner bunch. When the
returns are in you'll find there amt
nothing the matter with Kansas.