davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Papa's Idol.

Mr.. De Wealth-How ridiculous for
you to fall in love with that artist! I
DON'T believe he eve sold a picture.
His Daughter-But. papa. he says If
he marries he won't have to.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Spook.

Blinker-I woke up last night with
the feeling that my gold watch was
gone. The impression was so strong
that l got up to look.
Jinker-Well, was 1t gone?
Blinger-No; but it was going!
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Musical Measurement.

Waldo, | wish you would put that
fifth nocturne on the pianola."
Eight in the morning is a trile
early for music. my dear"
Il know. But the length of time it
takes to play is just right for boiling
an egg"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24

Mr.. Digorsey-Baby is very hard to
amuse-he's had my safety razor, my
fountain pen. my penknife and he's
still restless.
Mrs. Divorsey-Ah! Show the little
fellow my two divorce DEGREES.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
A Hot One.

Miss Antique-What was the great
est fairy story you ever heard?
Miss Caustique-The time you told
me you had eight proposals of mar.
riage in one season.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
That Depends.

Mrs. links, don't you believe in
women's coming to the front?"
well, ma'am, that depends. Some
times you kin see so much better
what's goin' on in tbs zsighhorhood
from the back
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24

Magazine Writer-You're nearly a
hundred years old, and I'm sure the
public would like to know how you
managed to reach such a ripe old age.
Old MAXWELL. | just kept right on
living. that's all.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Mostly.

The Teacher-Meter means meas.
ure-thus, a gas meter measures gas.
Can any little boy tell me what the
meter in poetry measures?
Willie-Hot air, ma'am!
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
The Way NOWADAYS.

The Questioner-Does an authors
success nowadays depend upon how
we'll he can write?
The Magazine Editor-No; on how
much he can write.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Less Trouble.

Evelyn-Papa says hat Fred Clever
Is sure to make his fortune.
Marion-That may be true. but I pre-.
fer a man who inherits a ready-made
fortune.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
The Passionate PiIarlm.

He-Didn't | write to you every day,
and now when | come back | find that
you've been flirting all over the
place!
She-Dearest. they were such pas-
sionate letters ! couldn't help it!-Bul-
letin (Sydney).
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Forebodinqs.

"A penny for your thoughts" quoth he
And quite expensive that is;
For when we're married. 1 foresee
You'll give them to me gratis"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
In the Sanctum.

"Ex-Congressman Flubdub wants a
little writeup," remarked the maya
zine publisher. What shall we say
about him."
What did he ever do?"
Nothing"
Say he upheld the best traditions
OF congress. That means little, for or
against"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
HIGH PRICES
GOOD CROPS
And Good Demand for All Farm
Products.

1t is no new experience for settlers
Western Canada, where lands may be
bought at very reasonable prices, tt
harvest a crop that in one season pays
the entire cost of their farm. Undoubt-
eddy this was the experience of many
farmers during 1915, but one instance
may be quoted. A settler who came
to Canada from the United States
some a g decided to add to his
holdings by buying an adjoining quar-
ter section near his home at Warner,
at $4,000 al acre, with terms spread
over a period of years. He got the
land into a good state of cultivation
and last spring put the whole quarter
section in wheat. When the crop was
threshed he found that it only took
half the wheat on the farm to pay the
whole purchase price of it; in short
a single years crop paid the cost of
the land, paid all the expenses of op-
Grafton and left him a handsome sur
plus as profit. This settler had some
adjoining land, and his whole wheat
~ NAS oSOoOA ohAOu1LCO W
over $4,000 bushels. He is now plan
ming to obtain some sheep and invest
his profits in live stock which will as
sure him a good living irrespective of
what the season may happen to be.
Canada's financial position is ex-
cellent. All speculation has been elm.
mated, and trading is done on a cash
h ocid with raafrio4od a.1d;k
Detailed figures of Canada's trade
for twelve months ending October 81
show how the war is forcing Canadian
trade into new channels. One of the
most extraordinary changes is in COM
merce with the United States. A
couple Of years ago Canada imported
from the United States two or three
hundred million dollars worth of
goods more than she exported. The
balance Of trade was all with the
United States. The balance is rapid
ly disappearing, and the present out
look is that by the end Of this year
Canada will have exported to the
United States more than she has i'm
ported.
The figures for the past four years
are illuminating. They are as fol.
lows:
Exports. Imports.
1912 ....... $145, 721, $50 SAP, 657, 022
1913 ........ 179, 05O,796 442, BAL, $40
1914 ........ 213,493, 406 421, ,528
1915 ........ 314,11S,774 346, SIS, 1924
Four years ago, in 1912. the balance
of trade in favor of the United
States was no less than two hundred
and sixty-seven millions, and this
year, the balance is reduced to only
thirty-two millions. The figures are
extraordinary and reflect the changed
and new conditions In Canada It
looks as II for the first time in nearly
half a century this year Canada will
sell more to the United Slater than
she will buy from the Americans
Advertisement
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
A Simple Schedule.

The styles in clothes. alas, have not
The change they ought to show!
In summer let's be Hottentot;
In winter Eskimo
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24

Anyway, one-half the world knows
hat the other half is looking for the
best of it.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24

did you enjoy the grand opera?'
No. You see | had to buy my
ticket from a Spectator. The grand
opera was all right. but | couldn't
help thinking about the petty larceny"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Not to Be Missed.

Wife-We surely must 60 to Egypt
this year.
Husband-Why Egypt?
Wife-On account of those pyra-
mids. | see by this magazine that
they are slowly wasting away. 1t
would hardly do to miss 'em.-Judge.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-21

The duchess of Rutland was there,
so was her daughter, Lady Diana
Manners, also Lady Drohega and,
please take notice, Ethel Levy was
there. 1t was one of the smartest
teas given recently in London,
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-21

which their declaration was based.
But they agreed Americans fell back
from PaTTal region only when plan
to wipe them out became evident.
Expedition was practically stalled
today, it was understood here. Flu
tuTe activities depend on conference
of Gen. Scott and Gen. Funston, in
which Funston is expected to urge
adoption of recommendations in his
survey of situation. No reports had
been received from Gen. Pershing for
II hours.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-21

Fairy-foOted, winsome Ethel Levy,
who tripped through George M. Co
hans musical comedies when she
was Mrs. Cohan, still adorns the
stage, but more often she adorns
drawing rooms Of London's elite.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-21
ceiVed, because it describes not what
am but all that l would be.
To Bet ContinUed.)
PERSHING WITHDREW TROOPS
TO SAVE THEM

San Antonio, Tex, April 21.-Gen.
Pershing withdrew his advanced de-
tachments to save them from posi-
BILE massacre, according to staff Of
ficers at Gen. FunstOn's headqUar-
tiers today Pershing's latest ad--
vices have not been entirely given
out, but were said to contain details
of attitude shown by CaTranzista
troops toward American expedition
chasing Villa. Funston's staff Off
GERS, having prepared report for
Chief of Staff Scott, would not re-
veal exact nature of incidents on
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-21
BANG! HE MADE GOOD

DFTNNa III TVIFIDL NOND
Kingston, N. c., April n. - Miss
Lorena ElmOre saw Joseph Benton
kill himself to prove his assertion
that he would die for her. Then she
calmly resumed a shopping trip the
tragedy had interrupted.
o.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
GyBI12[S
RICE coNvALEscINe.

Jo Rice, Arizona representative of the Hercules Powder Company in Ari Zona and one of the most popular bus mess men in the state. was permitted by the surgeons in Copper Queen his pital to leave his cot yesterday after an ordeal of ten days following an anto accident which resulted in pain full injuries. Mrs. Rice arrived from the East last night to attend her hus- band. MT. Rice's left arm, which was seriously fractured. is kept in plas- ter cast and the surgeons will deter mine later if it be necessary to break the arm in order to avoid a permanent infirmity. She patient will be under the constant care of physicians for about month when a decision can be arrived at as to the necessity of fur ther surgical treatment.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
SOM E MONKEY.

The queerest prisoner that has been in the city jail in a long time was there this morning in the person of a good-sized tame monkey, says the Douglas International The animal, with an iron chain around its neck, was brought to jail at daylight by a man who found it climbing telegraph poles and exploring garbage cans in the residence section. When taken to the jail from the city hall the monkey insisted on walking down the banister, and arriving in the jail yard immediately bounced on the breakfast of a prisoner who was eating in the yard, devouring it in the twinkling of an eye. The monkey insisted on shaking hands with prisoners through the cell bars. He was placed in a cell and kept until his keeper appeared a few hours later.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

of the head with a rock, The trou- ble arose when Crane called one of the men to time. The other then at tackled and the two beat the foreman up considerably. Crane was brought to Bisbee yesterday and given medical attention. During most of the after noon, after the trouble. the injured man was out of his head. The two men who attacked crane are Jin- Arnold and Dan Sommerield No thing has been done with either of them, up to the present time.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
Cocoanut Oil Fine
 For Washing Hair

If you want to keep your hair in good condition, be careful what you wash it with.
 Most soaps and prepared shampoos contain too much alkali. This dries the scalp, makes the hair brittle, and is very harmful. Just plain mulsified cocoanut oil (which is pure and entirely grease less), is much better than the most ex- pensive soap or anything else you can use for shampooing, as this can't pos sibly injure tine hair.
 Simply moisten your hair with water and rub 1t in. One or two teaspoonfuls will make an abundance of rich, creamy father, and cleanses the hair and scalp thoroughly. The lather rinses out easily, and removes every particle of dust, dirt, dandruff and excessive oil. The hair dries quickly and evenly, and it leaves it fine and silky, bright. fluffy and easy to manage.
 You can get mulsified cocoanut oil at most any drug store. It is very cheap, and a few ounces is enough to last everyone in the family for months.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
SOLDIER HORSE THEE.

Billie Woods, watchman for the C. X A. company. left his horse. sad dled. on the streets of Lowell yester. day afternoon When he returned for his mount the cayuse was gone. Some one had seen soldier mount and ride away. Deputy Sheriff Brakefeld hur- ried to the Warren Camp and there found the horse. ridden by a sodier. who is connected with the Thirty Fifth regiment at Douglas. He was held yesterday by the military authori- ties but will be turned over to the civil authorities today.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
FINED IN COURT.

John Crowl. who pleaded not guilty to a charge of disturbing the peace. was tried yesterday before Police Magistrate Thomas. He was found guilty, after considerable damaging evidence was taken. and fined s10. Crowl announced he would be pleased to serve the sentence. L. Burke. Crowrs companion. who was accused of using abusive language and obscene epithets, was found guilty and sent enced ito $20 or twenty days. This was Burke's second appearance be- fore Judge Thomas. On the previous occasion he was released without fine or imprisonment.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
BACK TO JEROME.

J. S. Douglas, of Douglas. left the Shelter City Wednesday night for Jerome where he goes on business connected with the United Verde Ex- tension Company. Big things are be- ing planned for the company during the coming year. including a reduc- ton works which will include at least one reverbatory and two blast fur naces. The ore body on the fourteen hundred foot level is showing up bet ter and bigger as development work is carried forward
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
OFFICE MAKES INQUIRY.

A special board of inquiry appoint ed by General Davis. in command of Douglas and adjoining boarder sta tions, made an investigation into the death, by accident, of Lieut.. James between an automobile and a street car several days ago. The inquiry is more or less of formality and the report of the board was not made public.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
ACIDS IN THE SYSTEM

before you can be rid of your trouble.
 s. s. s. has been purifying and nour- ishing the blood for over half cen- tury. IL is also very efficient tonic and being purely vegetable, it is the most efficient agent known in the cleansing of the blood and tonipg up of the system.
 Call for it at your druggists and don't accept a substitute. If special medical advice is desired write Med ical Department 95, Swift Specific Co, ! Atlanta, Ga.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
DOUGLAS INCREASES ANTE.

The work of securing an armory for Douglas is being pushed rapidly ahead, according to the International of that city. There is an amount of approximately $13,000 in the state fund for armories. The state laws provide that each community, granted an armory, shall provide an equival- ent amount. Adj. General Chas. w. Harris is hoping that the entire S13., 900 will be appropriated for Douglas and feels that the people of the smelt- CT City will appropriate an equivalent amount.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
WHITE WING PARADISE.

Thousands of white wing doves are devastating the fields of wheat, milo maize. feterita and other grains in the Salt River valley. Scores of farmers are appealing to hunters to come to their farms and slaughter the birds. paying them good wages in addition to allowing the privilege of hunting. The damage to the grain fields, it is estimated will amount into the thou sands of dollars. Many hunters are entirely diregarding the limit fixed by law and are killing the birds by the wholesale.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
HAcHITA ROUTE BEST.

According to returning travellers from Fl Paso the cutoff between Rodeo and Deming, by way of Hachita, thus eliminating Lordsburg, is in much better condition than the other way. They also state that the road between Rodeo and Deming. by the Hachita road. is better than the Dem- ing-El Paso connection. The recent rains though doing considerable dam- age have not made the roads impass- able by any means
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
NEW p. O. CLERK.

Owing to the heavy demand made upon the Warren postofiice by reason of the presence of the Twenty-second regiment and the two units of the Washington militia. is became neces- sary for the office tS have more help. As consequent Lloyd Hall. of Los Angeles. has arrived in the District and will aid in the handling of that offices business
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

Acids accommodating in the system in excess, poison the blood and cause. great varie'y of diseases, affecting the skin and other mucous surfaces, the heart and arteries, brain and general nervous system, joints and muscles.
 Some of these diseases are Rheuma- tism in its many forms, Catarrh, Eczema. Hives, itching and burning of the skin, dizziness. mental depres- sion and a variety of other ailments. You must eliminate the acid from your system and purify your blood
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
AN HEIR BORN.

Yesterday afteroon an important anniversary took place in the life of w E. Spalding. when at the Copper Queen Hospital. a fine baby boy was born. The father, who is popular employee of the Copper Queen Com paHy at the Czar shaft, was entirely beside himself and started out at once to secure a tutot for the youngster, de- claring that he must be taught how to say Dad" without delay. Both mother and child are doing fine.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
NEW MILITIA INSTRUCTOR.

Captain Fred B. Terrell, of the Twenty-seCond Infantry, has been de tailed by Colonel Frank D. Webster to act as instructor with the field hospital corps company of the Organ ized Militia of the District of Colum- bia. Captain Dodge. who first had the detail, has been transferred to the quartermaster's department and is now assitsing Major Cannon in the discharge of that work at the quarter masters depot in Douglas.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
NOTICE TO STOCKHOLDERS

A meeting of stockholders of the Bisbee Copper Mining Development Co. for election of officers will be held Bisbee, Arizona, on Saturday, Sept. 2nd, 1916, at P. M. G. H. Livings- ton, Sec'y. (AdvertisemenO
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
NOTICE TO INVESTORS

The Oklahoma Oil Wells Co. own eighty acres surrounded by producing wells. You yet a warantee deed for your tracts. Call at the Branch Of flee and look over the official map, A Naco Road, opposite Central Theatre. Lowell, Phone 701. Frank
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
1RouRIE OYER DIVIDE.

road crew in the employ of the coun- ty and working just over the divide,
 was attacked by two men yesterday
 and badly beat up. It is said that one of the men hit Crane in the back
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
DOUGLAS ROAD WASHED.

The heavy rain of Wednesday after noon resulted in considerable work for the county engineers office. IL was particularly heavy between Low ell and Forest Ranch and a great part of the road severely damaged.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
JOHN RAWLINGS HOME.

After several weeks spent in South ern California, John Rawlings, pur- chasing agent for the Calumet and Arizona Mining Company, returned
 yesterday morning and was again found at his office in Warren.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
OAKLAND DEMONSTRATORS.

See the new 1916 Oakland Six at the Cochise Motor Co. More power and more value for the money than any car on the market. One year service absolutely guaranteed. See this car before you buy. Price F. O. B. Bisbee, $S90. Cochise Motor Co.,, Phone Al. (Advertisement) (67D
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

ty-acre farm near Mesa. Five other applications for loans were granted at the same time. the total amount loan ed being S19,600 By September l it is expected that over S1OO,OOO of state money will have been loaned on i'm proved farming land in almost every county in Arizona.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
BORROW EROS STATE.

L. B. Johnson, of Mesa, is the first resident of Arizona co borrow money from the state under the new land code. which provides for the oaning of state funds to farmers at six per cent. Johnson, whose appication was the first one filed with. the state treasurer. borrowed s3,000 on his sn
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
FROM IMPERIAL VALLEY.

E. A. Tovrea. head of the E. A. Tovrea and Company, Arizona largest meat dealers. returned from a brief business trip to the Imperial Valley where he arranged for several ship ments of stock. The Bisbee man de- clares that Bisbee is an ideal summer resort compared to that part of Cal ifornia.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
COUNCIL MEETS TONIGHT.

The special meeting of the city council, scheduled for last evening, was postponed by the Mayor and mem bers of the body and will be held this evening at the City Hall. The meet ing will begin promptly at : o'clock
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
WILL VISIT SISTER.

Miss L. Palmer, sister of Miss Rose Palmer. a we'll known and popular teacher in the city schools of Bisbee, and a graduate of the University of California this past spring, is here to spend several months visiting her sister.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
COPPER QUEEN BAND DANCE.
 Vista Park

Don't forget the Saturday night dance. August 18th. All the latest and pSpular music. If unfavorable weather. dance will be held m old Opera House. Advertisement (664
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
HERE FROM COUNTY SEAT.

John Rock. member of the board of supervisors and candidate on the Democratic ticket for the nomination ro the same office, was a visitor in Bisbee yesterday. coming to the Dis trict from Douglas, where he spent two days. Besides attending to the business of the county Rock is ad- vancing the interests of his campaign materially.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
PURCHASES eARFoRo TRUCK.

i The Brophy Garage and Supply com
 pany has sold to the Treu Meat Mar | ket a one and one half ton Garford truck. which has already been put in commission by the meat people.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

a ten room house furnished. on sale Inquire Chris Heikkinen, Furniture Store. Johnson Addition. (662)
 Advertisement
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
A BOY BORN.

Louis E. Sobley, popular employee of the Bisbee Improvement Company and a resident of Upper Lowell. is the proud father of nine pound baby boy. Both mother and son are doing well and the new father is the hap piest man in the employ of the biz public service company.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
HIGHLAND PARK.

Under the Greenwood trees. Dance Sunday evening s o'clock Good music Hot coffee, sandwiches and refresh
 ments. (AdvertisemenD (5O6)
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

Motorists who followed the rain had to clear the road of much debris be- fore they could get through. Tester day. however. J. C. Ryan, county engineer. had a force at work and the road was soon in good condition.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
SALE FOR ENTIRE STOCK

All kinds of beds, springs, dressers, dishes, stoves, mattresses and all kinds of household goods. And also
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

The original Tombstone stage leaves daily at a. m. and 1:30 p. m. from Cochise Motor Go. Phone A. Leaves punctually on time daily. BOT
 (Advertisement.l
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
BACK FROM BEACHES.

F. A. Nathan, who has been vaca- uoning at Los Angeles and the near by coast resorts for several weeks, re- turned to Bisbee yesterday morning. He left Mrs. Nathan in California and she will return to her home here after the summer is over
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

Gerald DebeIy, "watchmaker" for merly at O. K. Bldg, now at Wat kins & Bergquist, jewellers and op- ticians, Main St-Advertisement.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
HIGHLAND PARK.

For Rent for Picnics and Dances. J. A. Finney, P O. Box 1737. Phone 257. Advertisement) (76)
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

, For Sores, Corns, Bunions in-grow- ing nails see Morrow Chiropodist. 2 doors from City Park. Brewery Gulch. (51D Advertisement
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

pr. Playfair, Osteopath, 9S Mason Hill, Mason Hill car stop.
 Advertisement
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
MEMS RAINcoAT SAMPLES.

At one third off regular prices. Mil Ter Shirt & Hat Shop, Main St.
 Advertisement.
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11

Say, Bill, dance Saturday night? Surei At Vista Park. (665)
 (Advertisement)
Bisbee daily review., 1916-08-11
NEW EMPIoYMENr nEEIcE

NEW EMPLOYMENT OFFICE at Mother Gristy's residence, S5 Main St. Can supply help of all kinds 7 Finlander girls wanted. (422)
 Advertisement.