davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
DINNER STORIES.

Two neighbors had a long litigation
about a small spring, which they both
claimed. The Judge, wearied out with
the case, at last said
What is the use of making so much
fuss about a little water?"
Your honor will see the serious
nature of the case replied one of the
lawyers, when 1 inform you that the
parties are both milkmen."
''Well," said the doctor, you're
cured at last. How do you feel?"
Il feel" said the patient, looking at
his wallet sadly, IT feel as if 1 could
start life all over again.
At the dance PercivaI Augustus
was presented to a beautiful young
girl from a nearby town. During the
evening it was his great happiness to
lead her out among the PAPER mache
palms for ice cream and angel cake.
And So" said the girl in response
to Percivals story of his life, you
have never married.
NO answered Percival, II shall
never marry until 1 met a woman who
is my direct opposite
THAT should not be difficult" re-
turned the pretty one with a faint
smile. There are bright, intelligent
girls in every part of town"
st would like twenty-five good
cigars for my husband
DO you want them strong
yes. very strong. The last ones
broke in his vest pocket"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
The Table.

Ambrosia-Cut up several oranges,
discarding white skin; mix with equal
quantity chopped pineapple. Over
this sprinkle plenty of grated cocoa
nut, and add juices of all; also juice
of a lemon if desired. Top off with
bright cherries. Serve in fancy dishes
or orange cups. Nut meats may be
added.
Stuffed Ham-One medium sized
ham, one pint bread crumbs, one tea
spoon mustard, three eggs we'll beaten,
one teaspoon red pepper, one cup
brown sugar, three pickles chopped,
one teaspoon cloves, one teaspoon all
Sldce, one teaspoon cinnamon, one
teaspoon black pepper, one tablespoon
chopped celery, one cup sweet milk,
boiled eggs, cloves Boil ham three
hours. After it is coNd, skin it and
make missions in the ham one inch
apart, 1engthwise and as deep as
possible. Make stuffing of the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

A SAD WEEK.
The year had gloomily begun
For Willie Weeks, poor mans SUN.
He was beset with bills and dun,
And he had very little MON.
This cash." he said, won't pay my Dues
I've nothing here but ones and TUES
A bright thought struck him and he said !:
The rich Miss Goldbrieks 1 will WE'D.
She lisped, but firmly said, mo THUR"
I'm done! I'll drown-I'H burn-Iu FRI.
They found his gloves his coat. his hat,
A coroner upon them SAT.
Hutchinson News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

do us no harm; and maybe we can
find a new way to get food" You see
Mrs. Tommy always thought about
food for her babies and any way Of
getting more interested her
The two mice set to scratching a,d
in two or three minutes thew had
tiny hole into the very heart Of the
hill
1T is a tunnel. Tommy, just as
thought! exclaimed Mrs. Tommy de-
nghteoiy- Let's make a better OPEN
If there is any food inside"
But alas! Just at that minute .he
house cat came shopping round the
back yard-and shopping 'round-and
just in time to scurry for safety
Exploring had to wait till ano,bs-
time They didn't dare even peen me-
of the old log all that day.-fCons-s
right-Clara Ingram Judson)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

bread crumbs and a teaspoonfu1 each
of mustard, cloves, cinnamon, all
spice, three well beaten eggs, black
and red pepper mixed. the chopped
pickles and the sweet milk. Mix these
ingredients thoroughly into a soft
paste, fill the missions and cover ham
with the same. Put in oven md brown
slowly. Garnish ham when done with
slices OF boiled egg and pickles. stick
ing a whole Glove into each piece Of
pickle.
Horseradish Sauce-One cup grated
horSeradish, one and one-half cups
milk, one teaspoon butter, one-half
teaspoon salt, one tablespoon sugar
0ess as you like IT'D Place on fire
and when brought. to boiling point
thicken with a little paste made CT
flour and water, let cook for a few
minutes. Serve hot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
Things Worth knowing.

Before working in the garden or
doing other rough work, rub your fin
gernails over a piece of soap. This
will prevent the earth from getting in
under the nails, and when you wash
your hands the soap will come out
easily. This is recommended to peo-
pie who find it hard to do garden work
with gloves on the hands.
Scrapbook Made From the Pictures
in Seed Catalogues-This will not
only amuse children, but also teach
them the names of common veSeta-
bles and flowers. After lists are made
up, catalogues are often discarded.
The pictures of vegetables may be
carefully cut out and arranged in
groups either on cards or in a blank
book and flowers treated in the same
way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
Journal Entries

1t would be an unusually wise UNI
brella that knew its real owner.
+ + =
The man who doesn't make mis-
takes isn't doing much of anything.
+ =
Isn't it curious that much of the
worry is devoted to things that haven't
happened yet.
+ 1. !
There may be plenty of room at the
top but the way to it is generally pref
ty well crowded.
+ i. +
Most of the fellows who were crying
for warmer weather have probably
been made more peevish than usual
by said warmer weather, now on deck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

Just the kind of weather observa-
lions to cheer the people, and to estab-
lish a peace and calm especially with
those who are susceptible to worrying.
The weather experts announce that the
prevailing brand of weather consti-
tutes ideal conditions for the develop
nient of tornadoes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
Household Hints
Kentucky Apple Cake.

Three cups of apples stewed slowly
in two cups of molasses, then set
aside to cool; three cups of flour, two
thirds cup of butter, two cups of
brown sugar, a little grated lemon
peel, mixed with eight teaspoons of
water, one level teaspoon of soda dis
solved in a little hot water, three
eggs and spices to taste.
This cake will keep for weeks. 1t
is better when a few days old than
when first made. @s1
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
MEMBER:
Associated Press.
Audit Bureau of Calculations.
American Newspaper Publishers
Association.
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State journal away
from home during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day to any
address at the rate of ten cents a week or
thirty cents a month (by mail only. Ad-
dress changed often desired. While
out of town the State journal will be to
you like daily letter from home.
Advance payment Is requested on these
short time subscriptions, to save bOOkkeep-
ing expenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

Republican national convention in
June the probabilities are there will
be two tickets in the field appealing
for Republican support, and with a
split Republican party as opposed to a
solid Democratic party the campaign
of 1916 would be a mere formality
preliminary to the declaration of
Woodrow Wilson's election"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

1t is insisted that environment al
ways gets in its fine work. And there
are exceptions to all rules. of course
But, anyhow, the office boy employed
by the firm of ]. P. Morgan & Co, re-
Gently made getaway with the
concerns weekly payroll. amounting
to S1O515
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

Evidently the collections at the Billy
Sunday meetings in Kansas City are
not what the promoters of them think
they should be. At any rate, Billy
has begun to flay severely the church
people of Kansas City for not assisting
in the crusade he is making to the
extent that he thinks they should.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member Of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
Ranfzatf1n. for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received in Thu State Jour-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

No job seems to be too big for David
Lloyd George, England's most astute
politician. He has undertaken the
qualification of Ireland, or to be more
specific, perhaps, the Cancellation OF
the Irish factions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29

Supposin England refuses to keep
her hands off the neutral malls, as
President Wilson has demanded in his
latest note on the subject and which
is described as a near" ultimatum,
what then? What will be the next
move that President Wilson will
make?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
SSDed d !!!::;.!;
eskAA 3ciara ksranIsasensx 2s
MULLY MOLE.
EGasa Ir@ramJpdsen

Those are not hills, Tommy" said
Mrs. Tommy finally; they're tunnels.
Something tells me that we could
easily break through the grass that is
on top and get into the runway / am
sure is underneath. Let's try. 1t will
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
now SOME INSECTS MULTIPLY.

The fecundity of certain insect
forms is astonishing, says the June
Popular Science Monthly. The progeny
of one little insect, the "hopaphis,"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
TELEPHONES.

Private branch exchange Call $3.50 and
ask the State Journal operator for person
or department desired.
Topeka State Journal building. 800. SO2
and S4 Kansas avenue. corner Eighth.
New York Office $50 Fifth avenue.
Paul Block. manager.
Chicago office. Mallers building. Paul
Block. manager.
Detroit Office. Kresge building. Paul
Block. manager
Boston office. POI Devonshire street.
Paul Block manager.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-05-29
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.

Daily edition. delivered by carrier. 10
cents a week to any part of Topeka or
suburbs or at the same price in any Kan
sas town where the paper has carrier
system:
BY mail. one year. leo
By mail. 100 calendar days. 100
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Health Benefit Of Yawning.

Yawning is said to have an exceed
ingly healthful function besides hav-
ing a salutary effect in complaints or
the pharynx and the eustachian tubes.
According to investigations yawning
Is the most natural form of respira-
tory exercise, bringing into action all
the respiratory muscles of the neck
and chest. 1t is recommended that
every person should have a good yawn
with the stretching of the limbs morn
ing and evening for the purpose OF
ventilating the lungs and tonifying the
respiratory muscles.
An eminent authority asserts that
this form of gymnastics has a remark
able effect in relieving throat and ear
troubles, and says that patients suf-
fering from disorders of the throat
have derived great benefit from it. He
says he makes his patients yawn, by
suggestion or imitation, or by series
of deep breaths with the lips partly
closed.
The yawning is repeated six or sew
en- times, and should be followed by
swallowing BY this process the air
and mucus in the eustachian tubes are
aspirated.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17


a
in
Mr.
be wild
wild another discovery quiet Iioander Uncle
is be in
blight
United
wasan o discoveries
of
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

ezs of the property. AS it is, however,
conditions would appear to be re-
versed; for, with the average driver,
the speed along these wonderful drives
is such that the constant prayer of the
tourist is that some accident may
happen which will allow him sufii-
cient time 70 fix upon his retina one
permanent picture of the exquisite
color harmonies of the sapphire bay,
the ivory-colored beach line, the sill
ver-gray trunks of the trees, and the
deep blue and bright yellow-green of
their tops.
Seventeen-MiIe Drive.
From the hotel at Del Monte won
derful drive, known as the Seventeen
Mile drive, follows the coast line past
the historic old buildings of Monterey,
skirting a mission wall and along the
sandy beach past homes of innumera-
BILE sea fowl, and plunges into a forest
of pines that forms the background
to the first grove of cypress trees.
From there the road winds in and out
amongst the spectral trunks, giving
glimpse here and there of the blue
horizon and jagged points of promon-
tories, burying itself now and then
in the dark and gloomy shade where
the growth is dense.
About four miles beyond the first
grove of cypress trees is the famous
Midway point, which, until the advent
of a fleeing exposition, was the most
photographed tourist lure on the Pa
cific coast. 1t comprises a rock pro-
montory that projects out into the sea,
with it's toes Tapped by the gentle
waves of the Pacific. whose ardor has
been tempered by the reefs and sub
merged rocks farther out at sea, upon
whose treacherous points the coast
wise traffic of this district is frequent
ly wrecked. Upon the summit of this
point, as if placed there by the play
full hand of an imaginative painter,
grows a lone cypress tree, the roots
of which are almost entirely exposed
to the air. The top of this tree, how
ever, is brilliant green, and when sill
houetted against the sky of the set
ting sun is indeed sight to behold.
Farther along the coast the drive wild
ems along the shores Of Pebble beach,
past the homes of men whose millions
are in the banks and others whose for
tunes are still in their heads, to Ar
rowhead point, and beyond to the IA
nous mission that marks the mouth
of the Carmel valley. Beyond the
point where the Carmel river empties
into the sea is Lobos point and the
quaintest and most curious cannery
on this coast. At the latter-named
point Of interest they preserve the
toothsome abalone. a sea product that
is peculiarly indigenous to this local,
ity.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

tender-hearted, industrious. Her Sis
ter was just the reverse-complaining,
dissatisfied, eager for some good for
tune that would enable her to live
without labor Natalie was a proti-
cient musician with piano and violin,
and gave lessons, paying her grasping
married sister more than a fair sum
for board.
1t was a week later when Kate
flashed in upon Natalie at the piano
in a feverish state of indignation and
excitement.
The mean old hunks!" she scold-
ed: what do you think? / wrote the
lawyers of uncles estate, demanding
to know what they had left you"
"Oh, Kate" demonstrated Natalie.
1--WE got the reply and Kate waved
an open letter in her hand. "All he
has left you is that old clap-trap of a
violin he dotted over So"
''Oh, Kate. Did he, indeed?' cried
Natalie with sparkling eyes. Why,
his priced Carero is priceless! 1t was
that he would leave it to me-"
Kate f1ounced OF, ridiculing the ex-
travagant delight of her. sister over
"a piece of Anticipated rubbish" Ma
talie fondly thought of the old man s
delight in his favored instrument.
Often he had played to her, and he
had even allowed her to handle the
old instrument, but tenderly, as though
it were an infant in arms. There was
a large intrinsic value to the instru-
ment on account of its maker, age
and power o. melodious expression
Natalie, however, never thought OF
selling it, especially when the violin
duly arrived with a note from the
lawyers of the estate, saying that Mr..
Warren had expressed the hope the
cherished instrument would never go
out Of the family.
There ensued a period of rare de-
light for Natalie after that. The
sound OF the violin made Kate angry
every time it struck her ear. There
was little old uncovered bower at
one end of the garden. Thither Ma
talie would go, and for hours would
draw sweet plaintive melody from the
vibrant strings.
She was dreamily playing a ca
denza one lonely afternoon when she
looked up. startled On the other side
of the low fence stood young man,
raptly listening to the echoing strains.
HIS eyes were lit with devotion to art,
his lips trembled. his whole being
seemed permeated with the plaintive
yet thrilling appeal of the old instru-
ment.
oh he cried, forgetting that he
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

Its real JOY after all-this up-to-
date apartment-house living" said the
bride of year or two to the friend
who was paying duty call. The
sherbet you're eating is a month old"
The visitor unconsciously delayed
an ascending spoonful.
Don't be worried" smiled the
bride, "the ice is all right I've kept
them longer than that You see, my
last afternoon 'at-home' came on a.
rainy day, and ! had a distressing
number of ices left over. Now, il
that had happened in a house with
only an ice-chest, all of the refresh
ments would have gone to waste. The
caterer wouldn't have taken any of
them back. But, you see, every
apartment in this house has refrig-
Grating plant. You can keep things
to eat as long as cold storage ware
house. It's very nice"
Yes, it is said the brides caller.
Its very nice sherbet, indeed"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

MY nephew, Ebert Petty, puts in
the most of his time at worrying about
what does not greatly concern him."
confessed Gaunt N. Grimm. Just
now he is considerably exercised over
the religious beliefs of Christopher
Columbus. This is foolishness, in my
opinion, for there is nothing he can
do about it, even if he convicts Column
bus of being entirely in error. And
it is especially futile when right here
in his midst, so to say, is the question
of world disarmament. about which
he can do fully as much anybody
else. Kansas City Star.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

assistance The handle twrl but there
of and then
sympathetic eyewtne gathered and oneed
hold and ne
refused
ament peculiar to AUTOMOBILES
seizedth machine
at me get said dusky of toll showing his
No
a the dkey couple for breath and
the motor com
their thanks the
back up FHteenn
TO Keihs
what the policeman about automobiles as ne ode along was
deserves down concise
peppery'
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
ences between various kinds of honey

various kinds honey Doctor Mcndoo discovered that
Dees don't like oil
Ncndoos tests during that
she OF the is
sense of smell combn
The department
is pointing
cent Oh the colonies
mat the colonies willing
D o
Another
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Observation-Disclosures Observation-Disclosures.
Tbe Oh
Dtoltn
By
EVA MORRIS ROBERTSON
ETTWtTT T.SsstTtN
Copyright. 1916. by w. G. Chapman,


ooh, Natalie, what do you think
you are an heiress!"
Nonsense, Katei'
Its true" affirmed her married SIS
ter Here is an item in the Rossville
paper, and it says that among the ben
efciaries of Uncle Warren's will are
several relatives outside of his direct
family. See-your name: Miss Ma
talie Prescott
Natalie's pulse fluttered a trifle.
Her name was, indeed, mentioned. She
lay down the violin on which she had
been practicing and read the an
nouncement.
Maybe it's ten thousand dollars,
maybe it's twenty" cried Kate ex-
citedly. you know that Uncle War
rem was a very rich man. My! if you
should get big lot of money, think
what you could do for the children
and for me, poor, overworked and
nervous wreck! l would go away for
one grand stay at the seaside, and get
some new clothes-oh, I hope your
legacy is something substantial"
Kate, dear, do not count on it,
advised Natalie with sad smile.
Uncle Warren had near family rela-
tives, and of course they will get the
bulk of his estate. | fancy he has re-
membered me with some trif1ing me-
mento."
I'm going to find out. Trust me
for that" declared Kate determinedly.
They were of wide, diverging ma
lures, these sisters. Natalie, patient,
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

pedestrians t1ounuerlng about III the
slush.
Two handsomely dressed women
left the theater and crossed the street
to an automobile, Getting inside the
machine, they wrapped themselves
snugly in and gave two or three yanks
and pulls at the steering apparatus,
but the car didn't bulge. This process
was repeated several times, when the
guardian of the law, observing their
predicaEent, fastened from his sta
ton under the awning and volunteered
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Rather nrduoUs.
aspirated

There isn't much glamor in mod
ern war"
That's true I understand some
of the society girls who became
nurses have discovered that hospital
work is considerably harder than fox
trotting."
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

Yalu and Tumen rivers, Frank N.
Meyer, plant explorer for the depart
ment of agriculture, has returned to
Washington. bearing with him, in the
form of hundreds of specimens care
fully assorted, labeled and classified,
new and strange plants, seeds, leaves,
roots and cuttings that may, after
thorough investigation and exhaustive
tests, prove of incalculable value to
the farmers, fruit growers and gar
deners of the United States.
Startling as have been the adYen-
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Not in Existence Then.

"That idea of Don't Worry Club
is wonderful thing"
Yes" replied Miss Cayenne. But
I'm rather glad it didn't have much
vogue when George Washington and
his associates were discussing ou2
foreign relations"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

turned TO Senator Dash and inquiries
not haste TO whisper in the senatorial
The senator gasped and, arising
hastily and wrapping his senatorial
dignity about him, took the snortess
ua7,ta to the door. He was followed
~, others as the rumor spread that a
Carman spy had been found in me
garret and was about TO drop ooiho
down the elevator shalt
But it was all wrong, Won heveh.-
low. it was all wrong. he WASH ,.oa :
wv he was an Italian
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

CIUSEIy LHdL LHt SCI6uLISC says LHUy
cannot be separated
In testing the senses of these in
sects the following substances were
the most important cnes used: Vine
gar, lime sulphur, kerosene, carboiic
acid, formic acid, oil Of peppermint,
quinine and strychnine and various
honey
The experiments show that bees
like honey best OF all foods, and that
they are able to distinguish the differ
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Plant Explorer Brings Specimens From Asia

ROM and explorations the remote provinces of China
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Story of the Auto, the Copper and the Negro

that engued Washington recent
of
entrance and watched the
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
Romb Scare Interrupted the Senatorial Labors

o, office afternoon recently was hummng with the
Of machinery But as
cards entered in
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17
MWEI1l[ R -
GOSSIP - az|z:.
smithsonian Scientist Finds Bees Can Smell

m In oN-Expements with
oslon mat bees smell
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1916-03-17

he didn't nave any was
named Vope sen where Eizabets which the
w. sbnpon Matteawan - :. a,a.. bo..a-