The sun., 1916-08-18
A CHILL AT Low c0ST.
Shivefs Arc Simply Produced By the
Blondes Brother.in.l Law.

To nj Eprron OF THE SuN-Str: While
It has often been said. and with truth.
I think. that there are far too many
laws and ordinances. yet some rule
should be made against talking about
the weather when the temperature and
humidity are as high as they rave been
the past month. Any n who makes
the weather a topic Of conversation or
who writes about 1t or in n other man.
ner tries to centre the attention OF the
public on the chief cause Of Its discom-
fort should be adjudged a public nui-
sance and be fined.
Has any old New Yorker remembered
a worse summer than we have had so
fsr? Think Of 1t! Either a blasting sun
and hot breeze or oppressive heat with
everything. including the atmosphere.
literally moisture soaked. And the
worst OF It all Is that there IL undoubt-
edly more to come. How uncomfortable
We all shall be and there seems no es-
cape. 1t Is only during such weather
that I can endure the company Of my
aunt-in-law. Nay. more. I positively
seek her out. Ever since I mislaid her
niece. my lost blonde sister-in-law. her
manner to me has. to say the least, been
frigid. She has consistently given me
the cold shoulder. Her GOODNESS toward
me and her Icy manner have been very
gratifying to me these hot days.
Speaking of the taboo subject Of the
hot weather. l have hit pon a plan
which. while II makes one no cooler.
still affords one a keen sense Of graft
~ication, OF perhaps I should say self
satisfaction. these hot days. II CHANGED
tho other afternoon and suggested that
We walk up Fifth Ter He had Just
finished his tenth whiskey sour. He
consented. first. however. draining his
glass to the last drop. conscientious
drinker that he L.. We chose the sunny
side OF the street because the shady
side was SO crowded. Bill began to
complain of the heat. He said nothing
he could do made him any cooler. !
felt very much the same way myself.
Unfortunately. my aunt-in-law was out
Of town, else I would have taken Bill up
to the house and introduced him. I
felt sure that she would treat him just
as coolly as she does me. But that be-
500 Out Va tho NuVstiohs " . Ntu toi
a cafe to get a hot Scotch. working or
the homeopathic theory. After several
hot Scotches the theory began 70 work
with Bill. because. what with his whis.
key sours, he got into a condition in
which he didn't know whether he was
hot or cold.
Somehow IL didn't work with me, bu,
1t was then I got Inspiration. ! sent
cut and got an old fashioned slate and a
slate pencil. BY old fashioned I mean
that both were made OF tone. cracked
the pencil in two so that the end was
an edge like a chisel. Then. holding the
pencil at right angles TO the slate. ]
drew It back and forth on II. The high
keyed, shrilling sound given out IL. ]
admit. moi pleasant to the ear. but It
sets your teeth on edge and sends icy
cold ch!lls up and down your spine. The
fact that when I had got my tempera-
ture down In this way some twenty
degrees and awakened Bill. the bar
tender. in response to an almost uni
versal demand, took my slate away and
broke II. does not dctract from the suc
cess OF my experiment. Some hot after
noon try II. T. r.
NEW YORK, August II.