davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28


the managing editor, the art editor,
two prominent cIergymen and hand
writing expert.
'sAber what couldn't understand is:
Why should a manufactures suppose 1t
helps the sale Of his~shoes to advertise
'em NIT picture of a bald-headed
man, even supposing he does look that
wayG" zapp said.
.'F'or that matter, Zapp. my wife's
brother Sig as a young feller used to
rub taleum powder on his upper lip,
because he thought it would make
grow for him a mustaehe like the fell
Ter on the box, BIrsky said.
.sWas there any such claim on the
box besides the picture n zapp asked.
No, " Birsky said, "but Sig had just
come over from the old country and
couldn't read English.
t'Well, all could say is he is lucky
he didn't want to raise bald head in
stead Of mustache," Zapp replied,
'beeause he would of been set back at
least $3.50 for shoes instead of twenty
cents for talcum powder"
"a feller who thinks he could get
bald headed by wearing any particular
brand Of shoes should ought to get
stuck for $780," Birsky said, 4never
mind he couldn't read English"
'sWell, that only goes to show how
careful a newspaper should be if it
doesn't want its readers to be swim
died. Zapp said. @Some people which
is. too foxy to believe anything they
read in the news section Of newspa-
per gets fooled very easy by advertise
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
|RoIle 0un|
Y Helps Y !.
TOWNS COULD SET EXAMPLES
Streets In Hiany Small Cities Worse
Than Country Roads-Farmers
Have Better Public Spirit.

1t is high time that the rural sec
tions of America called to the towns
to mend their ways and their streets,
says a writer in the Country Gentle
man. This is our conclusion after a
recent tour of hundreds of miles
through a. prosperous country. We
found highways in rural sections well
kept and comfortable, but there was a
far different story in the small cities
and in the numerous towns and vii
lagos through which we passed. The
main country roads were smooth boule-
wards compared with the streets in
the average town or city. In some
places where the homes were hand
some and the factories busy the streets
were full Of holes.
1t was a striking illustration of the
greatest roads failure in America.
Small cities and towns have Jagged.
A roads expert, who recently has trav-
eled over most of the country, says
the fault is general. In the past five
years the rural situation has improved
vastly, but the small city and town
showing is sad. When you near set
tlement you begin to bump.
For this the explanation is that the
town or city has too much local in
difference. A banker said to us: :"We
have two factions and each is so busy
fighting the other that nothing is done
for the town." It is a great pity. The
very communities that ought to be
ahead on good thoroughfares are be-
hind.
Perhaps farmers might jog them into
right action by taking their patronage
to towns and cities that provide good
streets to travel Chicago News.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28

nient probably stands him in as much
as $1,000, reckoning what he paid the
tailor for manufacturing and the s. r.
6. A. for the skins"
aAt the same time, Birsky," Zapp
said, '.if would be a reputable mer-
chant, and zoitenly / TRY to be-
Birsky, wouldn't advertise my goods
in paper which also accepts adver-
tisements from duaek stores, because I
figure that If a bargain hunter wouldn't
know of an advertised store where he
THINKS he could getea $100 overcoat
for $21, he would go to an advertised
store where he really and truly could
buy a 500 overcoat for $100, or any
how $11O.50. So you see, Bffsky, cen
suring advertisements is really for the
benefit of the advertiser and not for
the felIer who reads 'em."
maybe you're right, zapp," Birsky
agreed, "aber 1t don't make no differ
ence how small it's circulation would
be, a newspaper couldn't overestimate
the foolishness of people that read adj
vertisements."
81 believe you," Zapp, said. 'NOw
you take me for instance, and am a
pretty hard proposition If Iasee in a
newspaper that I am recommended to
drink sparkling Graperina made from
the juice of the ripest Illinois grapes,
take it for granted that on the bottle 1t
says: THE contents Of this package is
composed from grape skins, grape
stalks, grape boxes and grape barrels,
sweetened with sakkareeno and artif-
cially colored and carbOnated, contains
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
Urn Many Centuries Old.

Among the relics of pre-Inca civ
ilizatiOn, found on the western slope
of the Andes and now in the United
States, is an ornamental urn, three
feet high, and supposedly more than
1000 years old. Strange to say, with
many other valuable finds, in pottery
gold, stone and platinum, this urn was
found among the ruins Of dwellings
built of wood. 1t seems to be rather
fortunate than otherwise that fire.
proof vaults were unknown to the pre-
IncdS.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28

y'understand, it's all I can do to hold
myself back from ringing up the New
York agent and asking him would he
prefer cash oder a certified check"
'sYes, Zapp," Blrsky commented,
there's just enough Of the rube In
each and every feller so that sooner or
later, nit kidney pills or oitermobiIes,
the fake advertiser will get him if he
don't look out"
"Or if the newspaper proprietor
don't look for him." Zapp concluded.
Copyright, New York Tribune)
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28

and not only does all her troubles come
back on her, but she thinks she is also
developing peculiar pain in her side"
Maybe the advertisement give it to
her." Birsky suggested.
"Sure it did," Zapp replied "This
here rst-to-last-the-truth advertise
ing is driving women to moving pic
lures, Birsky. Another thing is the
way drygoods stores is acting nOwa-
days. Former times a woman buys a
dress at a drygoods store on April End
and wears it up to and including July
18th, when she brings it back with
symptoms of beefsteak supper, two
weddings ando chocolate nut sundae
on the front panel, BirslSy, and for the
next six months she has the time of
her life trying to get a credit check
for it. It gives her fresh interest in
things. Her eyes get bright and her
cheeks is got fresh color in them the
same like an advertisement for COM
pIexion cream before the enactment of
Section 31416, Subsection A, of the
Penal Code in relations to False and
Misleading Advertising. What is it
nowadays, Birsky? A crepe de chine
dress could have enough soup spilled
on it to make it look like moire ve-
Iour, Birsky, and when a woman re-
turns it with the pleasant expecta-
tions of never being so insulted in her
life, BirskJ, before she could even
open her mouth to say Iistenr yum
derstand, the floor walker pulls a
credit check on her."
HAnd euppose," Birslzy commented,
''fOr the. next few days she walks
around locking so .dowRhearted that
whenever her lady-friends see her they
20 home and practically throw the
meals at their husbands and gives as
an explanation that they'd like to see
themselves worrying themselves to
death over any man,
'Well, I'll tell you, . Zapp said, may
be the drygoOds stores is getting done
on their money back guarantees,
Birsly, but that's because they are suf-
fering from the fact that people amt
acquainted with up-tO-date advertising
idees. Their customers still thinks
that when a dlygoods store says:
If anything you buy here proves un-
satisfactory it will be exchanged or
your money win be refunded
Birsky, it must be understood that
such a guarantee means:
If anything YOU buy here proves uil-
satisfactory by the evidence of six
unlnteresting witnesses which a crack
er jack A-number-one trial lawyer
couldn't rattle on cross-examination.
1t will be excha Iged or your money
will be refunded when so ordered by
the Supreme Court of the United
States or a Justi e thereof after the
last appeal gets taken and judgment
is confirmed in All action brought for
that purpose, 1t being understood and
agreed that nothing in this guarafl-
4s shall apply to or bind the party
~ the same, his heirs, executors,
Womahetors and assigns.
energetic manager accepts an adver
Winifred Robinson, Is censured the
number Of experienceah General J0f
every advantage for lent comes il
to get as good an rer with his
afforded by 81 IsIe inst2 reporter t
fore for these tsssQns Dald ! liks Z
lvertise
down
70 NJ
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
seIf.control.

If, taxed by obnoxious affairs, you
feel like giving away to anger or re-
volt, then hasten to get away from
your own self and do not yield to
impressions that are liable to rob you
of your self-possessiOn. The more
we exercise our will in maintaining
our mental equipoise, the easier this
control becomes for us.-Marcus Au-
reliuS.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
The peIiohts Of Life.

What seems to grow fairest to me
as-life goes by is the love and peace
and tenderness of it; not its wit and
cleyerness and grandeur of knOwl-
edge, grand as knowledge is, but just
the laughter of little children, and the
friendship of friends, and the cozy
talk by the flreside, and the sight Of
flowers, and the sound of music.-J.
r. Green.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
What They say.

1t was the first day of her first term
Of school, and the new teacher called
up the class and asked large girl to
tell of Columbus voyage. "Well," said
the girl, columbus started out and
sailed around a dot "What?" said
the astonished teacher. "He sailed
around dot" repeated the girl.
Pressed for her authority, she pointed
triumphantly to the page in the book
and the teacher read: "About this
period Columbus sailed"
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28

eral feet higher than the original sur,
face of the ground.
Sometimes after the trees have
grown tall the sand moves away in
stead of piling up and the roots are left
bare, twisting and twining in curious
shapes.
Some Of the sand dunes are more
than 10 feet high, and in many in
stances their tops and sides are carved
into beautiful and strange shapes by
the lake winds.
Especially desirable is the preserya,
ton of part of the dune country as a
park and reservation for wild life near
a big city, because in addition to its
wealth of plant growth it is one of the
great way-stations of the birds in their
flights to and from the South. The
chain of the great lakes bars the North
and South pathway of the birds for
hundreds of miles, and in their multi
tudes they sweep round the western
edge of Lake Michigan to find the first
open road. In the spring and fall hun
dreds of different species stop over IL
the wooded country of the dunes to res.
their wings.
Eagles Seen There.
Prof. H. G. Cowles of the department
of botany in the University Of Chicago,
who has worked and studied in the
dunes for 20 years, has often seen
eagles there. Many varieties of owls
and hawks are also among the feath-
cred residents.
A large part of the dune country
which is adjacent to Chicago has al
ready been exploited. The manufacture
ing town of Gary~was built among the
dunes, which were leveled to suit the
purposes of commerce. Another big
tract is used as sand mine and ruined
as an object of natural beauty and in
terest.
1t happens that during the Gary
boom tract of $500 acres, lying be-
tween Dune Park station and Michigan
City, was bought up by local syndi-
cate and is still held untouched in its
original condition. 1t fronts eight miles
on Lake Michigan, and Professor
Cowles is authority for the statement
that it's beach cannot be surpassed by
that at Atlantic City. The slope out to
deep water is most gradual, and the
sand itself is much finer than ordinary
sea sand, because it is sifted by the
winds, which leave only the finest.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
The PiIot,s skiII.

The pilots skill is by no means
equally proved in a calm as in storm.
In the former case he tameIy enters
the port. unnoticed and unappIauded; !;
but when the cordage creaks, the mast
bends and the rudder groans, then It
is that he shines out in all his yIory.--
Pliny the Younger.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28

$40 of 3O% Benzo-boracid acid and
GIL of 70q6 somethingate Of soda and
40 alcohol by weight and 1870 by vol
ume.' Also 1 never fall for advertise
ments of cheap clothing, cheap straw
hats, cut price furniture or specials in
watches and jeweIry, but when l see
in newspaper:
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
Foolish Rabbits.

A hare win dart in the path Of q
giant locomotive at night and run at
the rate Of sixty miles an hour in the
full glare of the headlight and finally
drop exhausted. It win never leap
from between the rails to a place Of
safety. The hare pursues the same
tactics on the highway when autos are
speeding.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
SFIERR 4 no more nleasufe IN

IHsIb d Is no more pleasure In
reading advertisements now
adays said Barnett zapp,
tbe waist manufactures. to Louis Bir-
SKY. the real estater.
Why notg Birsky said
Well zapp said. 'what fun Is It to
read IN paper
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
Wanted 4 Screen.

Gimme a big book. said the girl in
the public library.
.'What do you prefer to read?"
81 don't want to read. I want some
thing to get behind while fix up my
face" louisville Courier-Journal.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
Eauer to Practice.

my boy, you want to practice thrift. .
II know, dad, but haven't the
TOOLS
What do you mean By that2''
If you'H let me have the IS / need
I'll see how long can make it last .
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
Look to the Future.

Henceforth lumber growing will be
making probable use of soil; not a
quick profit, and possibly no profit to
the planter, but should he not be mind
full of his descendants?
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
wiIIino to Pass.

"Sweet are the uses of adversity, "
quoted the Parlor Philosopher. 'You
can have mine," said the Mere Man.
ST don't care for sweets. Town Top
les.
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28

yunderstand, and right away she for
gets that she is going to take dinner
Friday night with her husbands folks
out in Borough Park that the doctor
says that people with her trouble could
live for years already.
but what is It nowadays for such a
woman? She reads
Middletown transcript., 1916-10-28
CHAROSES SIX ROADSTER

maue Dy the CnarOSeS NIOLOr car
Corporation.
This car has the elegant, refined
lines of the most expensive cars.
Distinctive Charoses stream line.
Seats eight and half passengers
and is finished in genwine walrus
leather with four knife blade pleats
and a belt of silk braid to the hip
line, trimmed with narrow bands
of fur and otherwise is equal in
every respect to any car selling for
over $4,25O.
S610
F. q. B. Ryan, JEFF Davis Co.
Tex.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
DAR|EN COUNCIL
OF DIXIE HIGHWAY
MlNTOsH COUNTY WILL NOT BE
LEFT BEHIND IN GOOD
ROADS.

Brunswick Dixie highway bosters
are interested in the news that Field
Secretary w. S. Gilbreath has organ
lied a Darien council of the Dixie
highway. The organization was form
ed Tuesday night with u charter
members and Brunswickians had a
part in the splendid work.
The officers of the council elected
were: F. H. Mcfarland, president;
Robert Manson, vice president, and J.
w. Arnold, secretary and treasurer.
These and DIR. c. ]. Woods and p S.
Clarke will compose the board of di-
rectors.
Mcintosh county is an important
link of the seacoast route as it is near
Brunswick and Glynn county will
cause it to be generally referred to as
the Brunswick part of the route and
good roads there will be an asset to
this section. The Brunswick Board of
Trade and the Glynn county council
were energetic workers in interesting
the Mcintosh boosters.
Mr.. Gil reath came over to Darien
from Savannah and received hearty
cooperation from the people of that
section. 1t is a good bet from the
present interest in the work that the
Mcintosh roads will add much beauty
and pleasure to the seacoast route.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
BRUNSWICK HAS
0ROEREO25 SIGNS
MAYOR HOPKINS HAS DECIDED
TO MAKE THE DIXIE HIGH.
WAY SHINE.

Mayor ]. Hunter Hopkins, who is an
ardent supporter of the Dixie high.
way. has decided that Brunswick
shall look the part of her progressive.
ness and loyal spirit in securing good
roads and tourists who come here
can never forget to associate good
roads and accessibility in their mem
cries OF Brunswick. 10
In short time Is Dixie highway
signs will be posted on conspicuous
places inside the city limits. The fol
lowing extract from letter to the
Brunswick Board Of Trade from as
.sistant Secretary V. d. L. Robinson,
reveals some interesting, features of
the push that is being put into the
campaign for better roads:
"Am glad to note that you have
started off with such a good member
ship and that you hope to materially
increase this very shortly.
] am in receipt of an order from
Hayor Hopkins for 20 signs TO be used
inside the corporate limits. Same will
go forward to him today.
I | note your enclosures of copies of
letters to DR.. Swift and Mr.. Davis of
Woodbine. | am today writing these
gentlemen, sending them the infor-
nation and necessary blanks with in
struction relative to the organization
of their council
also beg to acknowledge receipt of
the list of names of active workers in
Mcintosh, Camden and Glynn coun-
tie. | am today writing the chairmen
OF the board of commissioners of
Glynn, Mcintosh and Camden counties
as per your suggestion. A letter is al
so going forward to Mr.. A. de Sofa
Mendes. vice president of the Georgia
Coast & Piedmont railroad, also to Mr..
Frank d. Aiken of Brunswick regard
ing Mr.. Lanes suggestion of planking
the bridge over the Altamaha river
We will be pleased to advise you the
outcome of these letters"
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
!
IN CONVENTION
TWO BRUNSWICK WOMEN ARE
PROMINENT ON THE PRO-
GRAM.

Mrs. w. II. Chapman and Mrs. Eva
Harris Of this city are prominent par
Elephants in the program at the ninth
annual convention of the Savannah
presbytery now in session at Valdos-
Ia. The following dispatch from Val
dosta is of local interest:
The Savannah presbyterial opened
ia last night with a number OF women
from different parts of south Georgia
In attendance.
Mrs NJ Moore of Blackshear, Mrs.
J. r. Whitman Of Savannah, Mrs.
w. II. Chapman of Brunswick, Mrs
jeanette Langley of Blackshear,
Mrs. A. l.. Patterson of Savan-
nah. Mrs NJ c. Wynne of Waycress,
Mrs. He'en Rankin of Keller. Mrs.
Eva Harris of Brunswick, Mrs. W. NJ.
Scott of Savannah, Mrs. Mckay of
Townsville, Mrs. j. r. Grantham of
Using kiang-pu, China, and Mrs. w. c.
Myers of Savannah are among work
ers of the organization who are to
take part in the program.
The convention will continue
through Wednesday evening. A pa
geant, Christ in America" which
promises to be unusually interesting,
will be given by local young people
on the last evening.
Call for coupons at Faber's two
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20

Call for coupons at Faber's two
steam bakeries.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
Safe Medicine For Children.

'1s it safe?'' is the first question to
be considered when buying cough
medicine TO- chfldrent tdhamberlasn's
Cough Remedy has long, been fav-
orite with mothers OF young children
as 1t contains no opium or other mar
cotic, and may be given to o child
as confidently as to an adult. 1t is
pleasant to take, too,s which is of
great Importance when q medicine
must be given to young ehndren. This
remedy is most effectual in, relieving
coughs, colds and Group. Obtainable
everywhere. a.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
SPRING.

Spring is looked upon by many as
the most delightful of the year, but
this cannot be said of the rheumatic.
The cold and damp weather brings on
rheumatic pains which are anything
but pleasant. They can be relieved,
however, by applying Chamberlain's
Liniment. Obtainable everywhere.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
LADIES' SUITS

THE SUITS INCLUDED IN
THIS SPECIAL OFFER ARE
MOSTLY TAKEN FROM OUR
REGULAR STOCK AND RE
DUCED IN PRICE as a special
Easter offering, although it will
no doubt be taken advantage of
by a good many who contem-
plate going away and who will
buy their travelling or mountain
suits during this offering in
stead of waiting until later on.
Materials in these suits are of
wool poplins and gabardines, in
navy, black and Copenhagen.
Taffeta and serge combinations,
in black and navy, as well as
shepard and club checks, in
white and black effects.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20
Special Offering for Easter Week
In Our Ready-to-Wear Dept.
LADIES' DRESSES
SI275 Sl75O Sl9.75 SIPS $3.50 Sl9.75

THE DRESSES INCLUDED IN
THIS SPECIAL OFFER REP
RESENT SOME TAKEN OUT
OF OUR REGULAR STOCK
AND MARKED DOWN TO
SPECIAL PRICES for this occa-
sion, as well as few new ones
which have just come in and
marked lower than we could or
dinarily afford to sell them ex-
cept in a special limited event
of this kind. The ladies will also
take advantage no doubt of this
occasion to supply themselves
with a lice traTeIing, mountain
OF ses shore dress.
Materials figuring in these
crosses are ta,fs n a3d crepe De
line, in combinatt.Is of GcUr.
r'ltt crepe, in hla TX, navy, TO
u lGgep and rose.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20

IL. S. McCrary isrOut for the
office Of County Commissioner
everybody vote for H. S. Nc
Crazy AS
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1916-04-20

Fresh roe shad every Wednesday
and Friday from Altamaha river,
Phone 1877. w. A. Stewart, 116 Monk.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-03-13
FARMERS WORK LAND
IN H0LIN SECTION,
RIVER STILL HIGH
LOW LANDS ARE FLOODED AND
WILL DELAY CROP PLANT
ING THERE.
Ieap Year Basket social l. a success
Mud and Dead Jarkrahbits Arr
Plentiful in tire Butter Creek
Country According 10 Deputy A.
ses~oF Stcci-Other views.
lEast oregonian special)

NOLIN. Ore. March l3-The past
few days have been a great improve
ment over the weather which has been
SO disagreeahle for several weeks past
Farmers are working their land Rs
fast as .t becomes dry enough 10 De-
titled.
The Umatilla river IS On a ram.
page and is out over the lower lands
No particular damage Is being done
other than tha, Il viii be- q long time
before the submerged territory can
be planted % crop
Bern and Byron MOL Pendle'on
high school students ana sons OF Gus
Mol the well known state line wheat
farmer spent Saturday and sunday
in our vicinity visiting as guests ot
the families Of J. r Hendricks and
o. F steele They were accompanied
ar Freeman Hendricks or N0liu. who
Is attending the same school
Vivian Gates an employe ot the
S'u-her ranch during the winter left
last week Tot Cascade Locks
Mr. and Mrs Dale silsher ana tl
sr.,s..- nm. =, 49,. ...1,.. ~, s,..
rrts. .v.,ir- g., ---,sl- -,.- San.
7s,
ID. = Wo't1rj. Lester Lane and
ro. 81 Es.f,.- a.. .ssf.--... e., ,b,
s,-F... ..h.n, .r-,.-.,.- ,tp.ar
~. 80
r-,...7.-. ,r.-.t. .., ,.e.-r..
,f.--l. ..,.. ..-,..-... ......, NAL. ..,
r,. -..- r,.-.,,.-....-, us ,-.,,
ttg t,fr. -. a. ,.-,. 49, ,.-.,..., .,.
g.,.,. n, I'll i 49,. III. ,....
.s.,.-,r ....f.. ,---- ...,. ......,... i,
..,,4...t d. f..,'.,..... ,.-s.... ,,...., So.