Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1916-05-02
.HOl(ELAKRRS COLUMN,
On TOPICS Of insaseek % the hdiee
CoLUM. Oxford Democrat. sou1h PaEis. Ne


Oeod Mannees Ter Every Day.
The foundation Of good breeding, Of
good manners, Of truest courtesy, must
begin In the home, the place where We.
naturally perhaps, least recognise their
claims.
tits in the home, above al other
places, that the finest tact, another
name for courtesy, 10 necessary, living
a No do In closer contact, with less cere.
mony, and with greater Familiarity than
elsewhere-and the strongest test OF our
training comes into practice under these
very natural conditions.
Few Of Ms may ever be called upon TO
do more than one or two great things In
our lives, but oil Of ~ are almost daily
called upon for the smaller sacrifices,
the disturbing triflss Of life, and 1t 10 In
the smaller courtesies Of this same
everyday life that We arc apt to fail:
The truest courtesy comes from kind
ness of heart. All else II IN outside We
neer or polish that shows ils uncertain
foundation under any form OF disturb
apce.
Z From Q wide experience, l believe this
matter to DO one for the most earnest
confederation, and noted writer we'll
expresses &c thus: "Good manners In
the household are like oil on complicat-
ed machinery-like cushions spread
over rough and wounding ways-but
they are more important than anything
else In their strong Influence on char
acter. The result of refined early life
shows itself in all that . man or woman
becomes"
All writer's on s'Socisl Customs"
Correct Ways" etc., seem to- find 1t
necessary to emphasize the guiding
principles set forth by the use Of GER
tain number of "do's and dont's" and
long ago It was written that one might
as we'll be out Of the world ~ out OF
fashion.
When elderly people enter your home
or your presence, always remain stand
ing until they are seated. This atten-
ton may not always be appreciated, but
that matters little. The time may come
when we ourselves may be In position
to enjoy many of the small courtesies so
often neglected to-day.
Children are taught fine manners quite
a. much by example rs by precept, and
"what child receives In youth, 1t sell
dom fails to return at maturity; also re-
member that children are not only the
life of the home but the hope of the fu-
turew
The ease with which one member of q
family, not always elderly, will sppro-
pirate certain comfortable chair shows
selfishness and dscourtesy that awaken
sometimes disgust.
Never fail, be It early or late, to ex-
change the morning greeiings. whether
you feel just like it or not. Irs mys-
terry to me Why some otherwise court
eous people always feel CROSS before
br eakfast-and . still greater mystery
Why they feel at liberty to show 1t.
DR.. Holmes once truly wrote, "The
whole essence Of gentle breeding lies In
the wish and the art to be agreeable.
Good breeding Is surface Christianity"
Cultivate fine table manners-they ere
quite az necessary at home ss In public.
Carelessness In the observance Of social
customs at home will easily lead one
into mistakes abroad, even when one
knows better.
Fashions change little about table OBJ.
servances, but the general customs re-
main the same. One can note what 9th.
ers do and "follow suit"
Do not begin the day by finding fault
and criticising-always disturbing fea-
lures of home life.
Do not be 80 anxious to talk as to con.
stantly interrupt others who may be,
and often are, better worth listening to.
Don't be selfish and exacting-don't
fret, even when things 60 wrong-don't
be sullen-don't be tease-one Ill bred
person In an otherwise harmonious fam
ily can ruin the peace of the whole.
In other Words,-don't be nuisance.
II you have not natural tact, cultivate
Il by thinking frat about others, and
last about yourself. We must remem-
Der that the perseverance, of . court
eous manner is the test Of its sincerity"
Always knock before entering room
with . closed door,-every human being
has right to certain amount OF priv
acy.
Always treat with special courtesy one
who 10 deaf, or suffering from any in
trinity. You may be giving q joy that
will never be forgotten.
Servants ut home or abroad are human
beings and appreciate kindly (not neces-
sayily familisr) courtssies moro, some
times, than those Of higher station in
life.
Always be truthful with them, and
with children. They will soon lose faith
in you, otherwise.
Never refuse to receive an apology.
Courtesy requires that 1t be accepted.
Il 10 sad comment upon our present
day system of education, that SO little
attention 10 paid to the cultivation OF
even the simplest rules of "Good Man
ners."
CORRECT SPEECH
The home 10 not only the training
school Of manners, both good and bad,
but also OF the habit Of correct speech.
A knowledge easily obtainable, Of the
ordinary and simplest rules OF grammar,
II put into daily use, will prevent mis-.
takes almost unpardopable.
Carelessuess is one Of the greatest fac
tors in speaking uugrammatically-and
also. In mispronunciation.
An habitusl use of slang may be "fun-
ny" and "smart," but Il 10 never refined.
We can safely let It keep Its place With
the educated college boys who 20 thor
oughly enjoy it's use.
Above all, never attempt to use words
or expressions Of whose meaning and
pronunciation You are not perfectly
sure.
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