davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

sa6. GEO WILL BUY I.o4o ACRES IN
NEW KENT COUNTY. ABOUT
ONE-HALF@ CLEARED AND IN
FINE STATE OF CULTIVA-
TON: TWO DIV Filings.
BARNS STABLE AND OTHER
OCTBUlLDINGS. L r C E
AMOUNT OF TIMBER AND
CORDwOOD; ALSO. COSSID-
EgARLE- GuM. POPLAR AND
OAK TIMBER
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
COUNTY FARM PIEDMONT

LoUDoUN COUNTY FARM PIEDMONT
SECTION, TWO MILES FROM
LEESBURG. CONTAINING ESQ
ACRES; 240 CULTIVATED. BEAU
TIFUL STONE DWELLING (wORTH
sl5,oo0); LARGE BARN, ETC. THIS
Is \ SPLENDID FARM. PRICE,
$4,000.
10 ACRES. LARGE EIGHT-ROOM
DWELLING ON PIkE ABOUT ONE
MILE FROM CITY LIMITS VERY
ATTRACTIVE. PRICE, $4,000. WILL
EXCHANGE FOR CITY OR SUBUR-
BAN HOME.
PARK AVENUE HOME or SEVEN
ROOMS. HOT WATER HEAT t240o
BLOCKl. LOT 3ox139 FEET PRICE.
s6,500.
LOTT 25x20. FEET. FRONTING ON
TWO STREETS. BOTH CORNERS
KEY TO THE WHOLE BLOCK. Lo-
GATED AT CORNERS OF WEST.
PARK AND LEONARD STREETS.
OWNER LIVING IN ANOTHER CITY
WILL SELL CREAP.
J. a. Connolly q co,
Madison S36I---Madison $685.
Beverly street. 30o0 Block, Rooms,
large lot A very attractive home
Price. s3,25e. or will trade for small
place on car line.
West Cary Street, Corner. 8 Rooms and
bath, very large lot. rice. $500.
Floyd Avenue. Very Close In. = Rooms
bath, very large lot. rice. 1870
rooms are large and light For a
quick sale. s4,Iae.
Grove Avenue, o Rooms and = Baths,
hot-water heat. and strictly modern
tn every way. Closet in every room,
and basement under entire house
This Is . beautiful home, Price.
$4,000.
Hanover Avenue. s Rooms and Bath.
latrohe heat, In Al condition. Price,
$3.50.
Church Hin. East Marshal Street, 8
rooms and bath. large lot. This
house is all in first-class condition.
and Is rented for s27o per annum.
II ia also in one of the best blocks
on Marshall Street. and is offered at
a sacrifice for IA quick sale. Price,
$256o. Investigate this.
stuart ~ease,-S~R eessss. Detached,
large lot. Price. ss.?so
Beautiful New S-Reom stueco Home
in Barton Heights. hot-water heat
and all modern convenlences. rice,
$500
Lamb Avenue. Barton Heights, Rooms
and bath. Lot 50X12U Price, S4,250.
GARRETT & CO.
li12 East Main Street.
suitH Sponged and Pressed. use:
cleaned, T5c HOwARD'S FRENCH
DRY CLEANING CO, 3i4 W. Broad.
Randolph 1905.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

10 ACRES, LARGE BROOM HOUSE,
LAND ALL CLEARED AND IN
HIGH STATE or CULTIVATION.
LARGE MODERN DAIRY BARN.
LARGE HAY BARN, GREAT GUAM
TITY OF FINE FRUIT. ONLY ONE
MILE FROM CITY. A GREAT BAR
GAIN. PRICE. $4,000; GOOD
TERMS
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

ZINE COLONIZATION OFFER.
I,27& Acres, subBivtdcd I'm so Acre
farms. about goo acres In high Guilt
walton. good, dark. level land. neat
station: siding on land over mil
lion feet valuable timber, best farm
Ing section in North Carolina. Nice
two story house. three new tenant
houses. Barns, stable and large
canning OUTFIT.
Big Opportunity For Quick Huyer---
Soil. exchange or take partner.
Write or see owner. MARTIN AMSZ,
7o9 East Franklin Street.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
C.. L.. Il ~. H. DFN00N.
s0s East Main street

FARMS
$4,000 WILL BUY 1880 ACRES WITH
FINE OLD G. 0 I. o " L
DWELLING IN KING WILL
LIAM COUNTY. ABOUT 80
MILES FROM RICHMOND. ON
THE SOUTHERN RAILWAY,
WITH SPLENDID f. o w
GROUNDS ON THE PAAIUN-
KEY RIVER
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

J. A. CONNOLLY & CO.
SEVENTH AND FRANKLIN STREETS
RICHMOND, VA.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

165 ACRES, ) MILES FROM CITY. EN-
CELLENT DWELLING AND OUT
BUILDINGS. LARGE ORCHARD
RUNNING STREAMS. FINE SPRING
PRICE, $4,000. WILL EXCHANGE
FOR FIRST CLASS CITY PROPER
TY.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
AUCTION SALES.

BY Geo. u. Crawford q CO.,
Real Estate Agents and Auctaoaeers.
81: East Main street,
Richmond, Virginia.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

:sS ACRES. LARGE S-ROOM HOUSE,
ONLY I MILES FROM CITY. LARGE
MODERN DAIRY EARN. HAY BARN.
POULTRY HOUSES, ETC. LARGE
QUANTITY OF FINE FRUIT AND
GRAPES. RUNNING STREAMS AND
BEAUTIFUL SPRING, NEAR
HOUSE. ALL GROWING CROPS
AND FARM IMPLEMENTS GO WITH
FARM. THIS is A REAL BARGAIN
FOR LESS THAN $50 PER ACRE
]. A. CONNOLLY & Co.
Madison 23e1---Madison 3362
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
FARMS FOR SALE,

Deaf Overlook This -apparfnnity.- One
hundred acres neae the Broad Street
Road: fifteen miles out; Will cut
more than a thousand cords of pine
wood; fronts on main road; r. f. d.
mail service; near church; high
school in sight. Only S15 per acre.
Also seventy five acres in Amelia
County. climber, lying on main road.
value. s14 per acre. Will trade these
tracts for unimproved lots in city
and pay difference, preferably, on
Colonial Avenue. See the Farm
Man" BOwLES &c JONES co, INC.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Suits Sponged and Pressed, &c:
cleaned. 75c TOWARDS FRENCH
DRY CLEANING co. 3i4 w. Broad.
Randolph 2P05.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

ST.. 600 WILL BUY 2s0 ACRES OF
LAND s MILES NORTH OF
THE CITY. 9-ROOM HOUSE,
LARGE BARN, STABLES AND
OTHER BUILDINGS. LAND
IN GOOD TILTH AND MOST
OF IT UNDER CULTIVATION.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

xts ooo Will. BUY 247 ACRES. Az
MILES FROM THE CITY l40
ACRES IN CULTIVATION.
LARGE AMOUNT OF PINE
AND OAK WOOD; NICE MOD
ERN S-RoOM DWELLING.
LARGE BARN, STABLE AND
cow HOUSE WITH 110-ToN
SITO.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

-s ACRES. s-Ro0M HOUSE, WEST OF
CITY. ON MAIN ROAD ALL STOCK,
IMPLEMENTS. FEED. ETC, GO
WITH THE FARM, PRICE, $500
GOOD TERMS.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

In execution of deed OF trust TO
the undersigned trustee, dated October
81. 1913. and recorded in the clerks
office OF the Circuit Court of Henrsco
County. Virginia. I will. at the reauess
of the noteholder, default having been
made in the payment of the debt there
In secured, sell by auction. In front OF
the Henrico County Circuit Court
house,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

West Cary Street. Corner. s Rooms and
bath, very large lot. rice $500.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

s,oopn WILL, BUY Az ACRES ON
SOUTHERN RAILWAY. "a
MILES FROM RICHMOND
ABOUT ONE-THIRD OF THE
LAND UNDER CULTIVATION.
NICE MEDIUM SIZ f d
DWELLING. WITH ALL THE
TrSI-AI. OUTBUILDINGS. LIES
OK THE BUCKINGHAM ROAD
WITH GOOD MACADAM ROAD
tn THE CITY.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
Business and Professional Directory

SHOE REPAIRING.
Royal shoe Repairing Co. 500 North
Sixth street. corner Broad and Sixth,
Ran. i8s.
TYPEWRyTERs.
Rent q Remington made machine
Remington. Smith Premier. Monarch.
Visible Models. 50 per month. three
months. s75e We sell factory re-
buflts. se250 to $500. guaranteed.
Remington Juniors inewt $50 co. Rem
ington Typewriter Co.. SO f. Main
ST. Phone Madison sb1.
AfAI ESTATE.
Shelton w. Eavis d Co. los North
Eighth Street, Madison 1891.
Zimmerman & Co.. IS North Sew
snth Street. Ran. %.
AUTOS FOR AIRE.
| virginia Taxi Service Co, Boulevard
| s00-&et. Taxicabs and allos for hire.
MOVIES.
Albion Theatsr, sil Nosth TAir1
ysxeet, 1GAdfDoa MA
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

TRUSTEES AUCTION SALE
OF
DESIRABLE SMALL FARM IN
HENRICO COUNTY. VIRGINIA,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Beverly street. 2oo0 Block, Rooms,
large lot. very attractive home
Price. s3.25o. or will trade for small
place on car line.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Floyd Avenue. Very Close I'm. y Rooms
bath, very large lot. rice. s3.700.
rooms are large and light. For a
quick sale. s4,Ine.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

]. i. CONNOLLY Il co,
SEVENTH AND FRANKLIN STREETS
RICHMOND. VA.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
REAL EsrArr For sAs.r
r. =. ROPER & CO,
g22 East Main street.

e. r. ROPER & CO.
g22 East Main Street
Dandy Little Chirien FHraa of - Acres
on Petersburg car line; good Groom
house and kood outbulldlngs; nice
young orchard and good water, $2,-
CSC Liberal terms,
a Barxain-t:ood 4-RoOn bungalow.
all nicely papered, good outbuild-
ings, all in good repair, and on very
easy terms, only $4,000.
Good stock or Chicken Farm of IS
acres: good Broom house and out
buildings, 1-2 miles from the city.
For quick sale, $1,000. Terms.
Good stock Farm In Amelia COUNTY, ~
t,2o0 acres, on good road with good
Groom dwelling and one 4room and
one Groom house; good outbuildings;
600 acres in high state of cuitiva
tlou ouIy g n3its 10 Two railroad sta
lions. II sold In IL Gats AN sell
for $4,000; half cash, balance on
good terms.
L. F. ROPER & co.
Corner Tenth and Main Streets.
Second Floor.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

$500 WILL BUY s. ACRES, WITH
NICE DWELLING. STABLE
WITH 10 STALLS AND a
HniRrR OF OTHER OUT
RIruDINGS, GOOD LAND,
MOSTLY FENCED ORCHARD
sao ASSORTED TREES. THIS
PROPERTY Is SITUATED ON
WILLIAM SBURG ROAD
ABOUT 2lA MILES FROM THE
CITY.
- oon WIN. RtyY so ACRES IN
CHESTERFIELD co UN I \.
AROrJT Az MILES FROM THE
cry. GOOD IMPROVEMENTS.
ABOUT u CLEARED AND IN
CULTIVATION.
$4,000 WILL BLY, A NICE FARM or .
fo6 ACRES, ABOUT 10 MILES
BELOW RICHMOND ON WILL
IIAMsBURG ROAD. WITH
GOOD DWELLING. BARN,
STABLE. ETC.
s25oO WILL BUY 10 ACRES OF
GOOD LAND. WITH FIVE
ROOM COTTAGE AND OTHEts
IMPROVEMENTS, ABOUT
MILES FROM THE CITY ON
CENTRAL TURNPIKE.
q, ooo WILL, BUY 10 ACRES. WITH
THREE ROOM COT T A G F.
ABOUT 5 MILES FROM THE
CITY. EASY TERMS.
c. L. & Fl. L. DENooN.
so7 East Main street
\ d
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Lamb Avenue. Barton Heights. y Rooms
and bath. Lot 5ox1eO. Price, S4250.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Suits Sponged and Pressed, Csc:
cleaned T5c HOwARD'S FRENCH
DRY CLEANING CO. 3i4 W. Broad.
Randolph 1905.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

AND CHEeArNAKE BAY
RAILWAY COMPANY.
.,nerseding schedule of April II. 1914
SeSedule subject to change without
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

GARRETT & CO.
il12 East Main Street.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Wanted-Partner in weM-E-tsbI ished
real estate business. in city OF TO-
600. Must be experienced in sell
ing farms, thoroughly reliable and
furnish good references. To such
a man an unusually good opportunity
will be offered. Address r.. care
Virginian.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

be Wise Like the other Fellow. Save
H4eheF.-SHits- sponged and pressed
s5c. HOWARUS, 3i4 w. Broad,
Randolph 1906.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
BUSINESS orpORruNTTY.

Money Loaned Everybody saving VI
upwards. COMMERCIAL GUARAN-
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
, REAL ESTATE FoR sALE.

Gu enpesf Farms. Homes, Timber, List
free. A, C. BUCHANAN. Chester, Va
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

suits Sponged and Pressed. CSC;
cleaned, 15c. HOWARD'S FRENCH
DRY CLEANING Co, 3l4 ". Broad.
Randolph 2s0s,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

hot-water heat. and strictly modern
tn every way. Closet In every room.
and basement under entire house
This Is beautiful home, Price.
SS 0h0
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
OF stock Advances Is Per cent jan

OH stock Advances IL Per cent jan
uary II; big company; ground-hoor
propositions; oklahoma oil doubled
nprice; 100 per cent dividends 80
days possible; quick action on your
money; limited number shares, &C
share; $40 buys $3.50 par value stock;
company paid two dividends. remit
now. Write. Free information.
AaTALGAMaT1D OIL co. 1101 COL
cord building. Oklahoma. Okla.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
I@zkn@4

025OO Annually. Cooperate with Me
evenings at home. Everything fur-
nished. Don't worry about capital
RERTRANM TIZARD. Amaha, Neb,
Dept. 2t9.
CeaereA Boy wanted TO Attend Fur
mace st the HOME FOR INCUR
ABLES
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

PARK AVENUE HOME or SEVEN
ROOMS. HOT WATER HEAT t2400
BLOCKp. LOT 30x130 FEET. PRICE,
$4,000.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16
RICE EIGHT-RoOW

10 ACRES. LARGE EIGHT-RoOM
DWELLING ON PIKE ABOUT ONE
MILE FROM CITY LIMITS. VERY
ATTRACTIVE. PRICE. $4,000. WILL
EXCHANGE FOR CITY OR SCBUR-
BAN HOME.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

LOTT 25x207 FEET. FRONTING ON
TWO STREETS. BOTH CORNERS
KEY TO THE WHOLE BLOCK. LO-
GATED AT CORNERS OF WEST,
PARK AND LEONARD STREETS.
OWNER LIVING IN ANOTHER CITY
WILL SELL CREAP.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

suits SponGed and Pressed. 2Scs
cleaned, T5c HOwARD'S FRENCH
DRY CLEANING CO. sta w. Broad.
Randolph 1905
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

Hanover Avenue, Rooms and Bath.
latrohe heat, In Al condition. Price,
$3.50.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

For saie--Up-to-Date. WeIi-Eauipped
drug store; new stock and fixtures.
including soda fountain, in new
hotel building; steam heated, long
lease. on busy street, in Petersburg;
the busiest city in Virginia. II In
terested, investigate. FRANK ~ D.
FULLER COMPANY. Petersburg,
Va.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-16

COeneaux and Dragon Pigeons for Sale
cheap Can be seen at 2407 Decatur
Street. South Richmond.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

A military officer once bet an ath-
lete that he could not hop up GER
tain long flight of steps two at a
time.
The athlete accepted the wager and
made the trial, to find there were
forty-one steps to the fight, and that
after making twenty hops he had lost.
He paid up, but accused the other
of shart practise.
SHARP practice!" was the retort
indignant. well I'll make the same
bet with you that | can do it,"
The other expecting to win his
money back, assented. The officer
then hoped up forty steps in twenty
hops, and, hopping back one, finished
in the prescribed manner, and won
the wager.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10
:: SPICE ::

Her Limitations.-"Poor June!
She's run down another 'workingman
with wife and six children!" well
she can't steer, eat chocolates, keep
her feet on six pedals and run down
rich and unattached bachelors exclu-
siyely, can she?"-Puck.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Tearing along the street, my friend
Mr.. WHO is but little known
poet and novel writer, encountered
me with flashing eyes and threaten
ing mein.
stopped him and asked: What
ever is the matter?"
1.-THE matter is" he rejoined furi-
ously, that l am going to his house
to punch his head"
who's head?"
"Why, that scoundrels, the painter
j. Owing to personal grudge
against me, he has made me ridicu-
lous in the face of the world"
How is that?"
why, l have just come from the
Permanent Exhibition of Paintings.
He has exhibited a picture there call
ed The Allegory of Sleep A man is
in an armchair with his head down
inclining on his breast and his arms
dropping. He is asleep profoundly,
and holds, clasped in his right hand,
a half opened book-the last volume
of my poems, with my portrait on the
cover"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Larry Harris in an unguarded mo-
ment accompanied some friends on a
yachting trip down the coast, during
which rough weather was encounter
ed. Finally the genial Larry was dis
covered hanging on for dear life with
scarcely enough interest remaining to
care whether port was made or not.
Feeling pretty sick, old man, aren t
you?" said one seasoned salt, sympa-
thetically. "Sick?" he moaned.
why, thousands have died who were
not half as sick as am now"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

The managing editor wheeled his
chair around and pushed button in
the wall. The person wanted enter
ed. Here" said the editor, "are a
number of directions from outsiders
as to the best way to run a newspap-
r. See that they are all carried out y
And the Office boy, gathered them
all into large waste basket, did SO.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

1t was very fashionable concert
and the artists very we'll known ones,
but the two young things were too
busy with picking out their peculiar
tiles to hear the music.
In the midst of beautiful selec-
tion the pianist suddenly lifted his
hands from the keys AMI one of the
young things was heard to say clearly
81 wonder If that hair is his oWn?"
The old man who sat beside her
was slightly deaf, but he turned with
benevolent smile.
mo, Miss" he impaired pleasant
ly, that is Schubert's."
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

A woman with a little wit sat at a
public meeting between a bishop and
a rabbi. She thought she would be
clever, and said to the rabbi: 81 feel
as if | were leaf between the Old
and New Testaments. "Yes, madam
said the rabbi, that page is usually a
blank one" Sunshine.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Having come into sudden wealth,
and feeling that he owed it duty to
himself and his fellow-men to climb,
a man who had been engaged in some
queer business transactions induced
one of the younger members of a
rather exclusive club to put his name
Some of the old guard fell to dis
cussing the applicant. 81 cant place
him." said one. rs he a member of
any other clubs?" At this juncture
another member, who had suffered
heavy financial losses through the
sharp, not to say questionable, prac-
tices of the applicant, declared:
Club? Why that fellow would be
rejected by the Y. M. c. A.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Two mothers-each with her child
visited the Chicago Art Museum.
As they passed the Winged Victory"
the little boy exclaimed, HUH" She
amt got no head" "Sh." the hori-
fed little girl replied, "That's Art
she don't need nome
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Robert was having very success
full year at college. He had scored
The winning touchdown in the big
game of the year, and was mentioned
by all the experts for the All-Ameri-
can team. But Roberts father was
not satisfied. I'm afraid, my son, y
said he, that you are not making
good use of your time at college.
hear very unsatisfactory reports about
your work" Gee whiz!" exclaimed
Robert. you must have been talk
ing to one of the professors.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

She weighed close upon $50 pounds
but she insisted on entering the
crowded car, and as she stood and
swayed with the movement of the
car she waxed sarcastic. 'If there is
any gentleman in the car" she said,
"they would not allow no lady to
stand" And then little Dobbins got
up from his scat with sigh. Don't
be tross, ma sm," he sad. I'll make
one toward it."
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

There was recently brought before
a police magistrate in the South an
old darkey who had fallen foul of a
bulldog while in the act of entering
the henhouse of the dogs owner.
Didn't I give you ten days last
month for the same offense?" asked
the magistrate. 1T was the same
henhouse you we're trying to get into.
What have you got to say for your
self"
The darkey seemed perplexed.
"Yo' honah," he said, "yo' sent me to
the chain gang 70 tryin' to steal some
chickens, didn't yoo'?"
eyes; that was the charge"
"An' don't de law say yo' can't be
charged twice with de same offense?"
THAT no man shall be twice placed
in jeopardy for the identical act yes. "
Den, yo' honah, youse gotta let
me go, sub. | was after de same
chickens, suh."
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Matilda, why didn't you send that
young man home sooner last night?
He stayed so long l didn't think he
was ever going home. How did you
entertain him?" "Oh ma, we indul-
ged in light conversation" Light
conversation? Well guess you need
ed it. 1t was pretty dark in the par
r."-Florida Times-Union.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Little Girl (Severely) Il used to like
you, Mr. Jinks, but | can't any more
now l know you're a horrid German
Jinks.-Nonsense, my dear. What
put such an absurd idea into your
head? Little Girl heard auntie
telling mother you were regular
ladykiller.- Show.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Molly, the new Irish girl, was one
of those heavy-handed creatures who
was forever dropping or breaking
things. Hearing crash of glassware
one morning, her mistress called in
resigned voice from the next room:
well Mollie, what are you doing
now?" 81 amt doin nothin', mum.
It's done"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Mrs. Burns had found some house
work for an old negress, but after
working day or two Mandy said she
must quit.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Charlie dear" said young Mrs.
Torkins, 81 have good news" What
is it," 1.-The bank sent me word that
my account is overdrawn, and | look
ed in the synonym book and found
that 'overdrawn is the same as 'exag
gerated. "-Washington Star.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

lots 40x90; l lot 50x11O; 1 g.
room dwelling, woodshed and other
outbuildings; I 5-room dwelling,
woodshed and other outbuildings; 1
barn, used for livery stable, 64x64.
This property is in a small eastern
oregon town and is for sale at $500
cash or will trade for Heppner prop
erty, Morrow county wheat land, or
would trade for an auto. Owners
business calls him away and he ia
desirous Of closing a deal on this
property before leaving. Further
particulars will be given by calling
on us.
sMEAD & CRAWFORD.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

The cook and the movies-We US
ually spend three months at our cot
tage in the country. Would you be
willing to go with US? No, mum,
would not. With good help I'D pre-
fer working for somebody else and
keeping close to the moving picture
shows.-Detroit Free Press.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

wasn't going to write that much about
the whole show"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Willie came to his mother with an
expression of anxiety on his face.
"Ma," he said, "If a poor hungry
little boy was to come to the back
door and ask for something to eat,
would you give him that piece of pie
that was left over from dinner??"
Eyes, Willie, Of course would" said
the mother. Willie's face cleared.
"All right" he said, "just wait a
minute till l run around to the back
door"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

Il done haf to 60 out collectin' foh
de missionary society,"" she explained.
But l have work for you to do"
said Mrs. Burns, "and you need all
the money you can get"
Il know" said the old NANNY,
but done haf to collect foh de mis-
sionary society,""
what do you get paid for collect
ing?" asked Mrs. Burnus.
Il don't get paid" said Mandy,
Il only gets what l collect"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1916-08-10

One Sunday morning Mr.. Moody,
the revivalist, entered Chicago drug
store, distributing tracts. At the
back of the store sat an elderly and
distinguished citizen reading morn
ing newspaper Mr.. Moody approach
ed this gentleman and threw one of
the temperance tracts upon the paper
before him. The old gentleman
glanced at the tract, and then looking
up benignantly at Moody, asked:
"Are you reformed drunkard?" "No
sir, l am mott" cried Moody, draw
ing back Indignantly. Then why
the devil don't you reform?" quietly
asked the old gentleman.