davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Practical Flood Prevention.

An Ohio man forward with an
unusually interesting plan Of flood pre-
v%cntion - interesting because novel
simple and comparatively inexpensive.
Ills idea is 60 connect the curves of IN
portant rivers by shallow diversion ca
mails. lie estimates they will carry Of
floWi waters fifty times aS rapidly aS
the regular river channel. They would
be- IN use only in time Of flood. They
wouid be paved and could be- used as
driycwaN> most of the year. But he
makes one mistake. lie %denounccS any
scheme oi flood prevention involving
bikes. dams or reservoirs. As 10 dams.
they are necessary TO secure naugabil-
ity. As to bikes ~ ~levccS, they are alb
s~olutely essential uulil some better me
thod il provided. " to reservoirs, bill
lions of gallons of wafer which might he
stored and used for irrigation. power
and development and other purposes are
running down IT, waste in the salt seas
every year. Proper imp0unsing rcscr-
vcirS might save much of this water aud
substantially reduce the volume of flood
waters to be taken care Of. But the III
version canal idea il good. Ii should y"
put into effect, experimentally M first.
and ON "A large scale if The results jus
tilv. Galveston Tribune.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

Charles Warren. assistant attorney gen
eral of the United States. who handles the
governments legal machinery for the en-
forccment Of the neutrality laws. is rs
years old today. The fraudulent passport
eases have been among the most important
and the most delicate which have come
under his supervision. The wireless eases.
involving. the censorship Of messages. were
also in his care. The legal questions grow
I'M out of false or incomplete manite~t~
for trading ships are also handled by him.
Mr.. Warrent went to the department of
Justice Il year AGO last summer. lust when
the European war was breaking out. He
found 4 mountain ST work ~ hc done. but
he put his shoulder tn the wheel and made
n big success of ID. lie was well equipped
IN legal lore. having hcen long in practice
and having written several books ON the
history OF the American bar. Mr.. Warren
comes from Boston, where he was horn
March 9, 1865. the son Of Hon. Winslow
Warren, Il noted lawyer and Cleveland
democrats. lie married i daughter ~ vii
ham III. Bis. q famous New York attor
ney, and their home in Washington IN n
scene Of social gatherings. Mr.. Warren i~
one Of the busiest men III the Wilson ad-
miniStration. One Of the most recent If
the additional duties assigned "a him IL To
decide questions relating ~ the operation
of the Federal Reserve act. Matters re-
lating 10 Panama and Alaska also find
their way to ms desk. lie often argues
before the supreme court. and has won
some notable decisions.
!. Waldo Smith. noted aqucduct cnei-
nccr, 50 years old today.
John q. Foster, United States consul
general ut Ottawa. ~ wears old today.
Edward q. Adhesion. inventor M ear
haundum. ~ wears old today.
pr. Edward 4. Ward. organizer of school
so-ial ccntcr~ for the United States bureau
~ education, 36 years old today.
Warren Y. Sopcr. Canadian electrical III
"1ncer. 62 wears old today.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
POOR ON SlI\ERSi

There I- 4 grim tragedy m lhr late SRI
the noted circi~ clown. Frank Oakley. bct
ter known an silver" who committed SUI
eide Wednesday ID New York by The gas
route. Poor Old Slivcr~l Contrast the
Slivcrs ~ The RING. the Jolly, apparently
care free. tumhlcr wv hI- rlowm~h garb.
alway~ presenting the sunny ~'dc ot his
nature ~ the cr"vd. with thr NlIyrr~ ut
Wednesday there IN New York. covering
W hi- room. ail h- courage gone. mi hl-
brave determination lost. iI~ cups for
gotten. hi~ heart dc~olatc. hidden from the
world vi laughter W. whose gaNcty hc bad
contributed ~o uuch. turning "u thc ga-
and Hhulng thc poison until I'd mmbcd h-
senses INT" iu-cuaflrlty and then into
death. Nho knows how often thc heart "f
the clown may ha,r achcj a- hr performed
ms funny stunts
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
THrRSpAY. MAECH ., 1910.
A GRIENOUS MISTAKE.

The endorsement ol President Wilson @
foreign policy by the lower house IT con
ere-s. in tablne thc NlcLcmorc resolution
hv q vote of pc tp Ia, following similar
action IA the ~enntc ou The Gore rc~"In-
ton \, an even greater majority. c"h-u-
tute4 mos, u~nmi-takablr and satisfactory
assurance that the -aucr head NJ CON
gress are standing hy The president. That
the major part ~ the opposition n" rrr-i-
dent wilson Foreign policy ban been dnt
chiefly 10 the fact that this Pm an election
wear. and many hyphcuatcd vote liz h'
played for. IN some districts, I- generally
understood. The Herald does not bchrN'
that Texas congressman at large, Jrii
McLcmorc. WAS influenced hy amy ~urii
motive. bat Wr are SORRY that hr -h"nid
have gotten -o far ont ri touch with ihc
real feeling vi n~ state gith regard 4" thus
matter 20 vital g. thc nation honor aad
well being. a. "a awe embarrassed Frr~i-
dent Wilson WV thc Introduction At such n
measure. We INV uot believe HAT Cougrc~--
man Jch wa- playiu- politics. lic douhi
less wa sincere IN differing with The rrc-i-
dent, but he surely madc q s%Tlcvou~ ms
tYLg
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Folks In Our Town
fBY WALT MASON.J

he'd punch a hole through the floor with
me if / didn't do the vanishing act be-
fore he could count three. There's no
use arguing with a man If that kind, so
I started for the door and about three.
pounds of liver hit ne on the back of the
head and Knocked my hat off.
What does a business man gain hy
such conduct? Ii would pay Buigcr to
listen 10 the complaints If MS customers
and try 20 reform.
i bought a pair If shoes nj Bunk
shaw's store. Bunkshaw himself waited
OH me. and said that shoes Of that brand
were being worn by all the crowned
heads Of Europe. lie said Id never
know What solid comfort is until 7 be
gan wearing his non-skilding shoes.
Il wore them Two weeks and I never
suffered so mr,h in my life. They made
my feet feel like c~arbuncles. Half the
time l had to walk on my hands 10 get
relief. My toes fairly shricked, they
hurt SO.
II went TO Bunkshaw and told him i'm
a calm. diSpassionate way. hat his
shoes were whited scpulchcrs and he
ought to return the money ! paid for
them. Instead Of doing il nc pushed me
up against the wall and shook his big
fist in my face and said was the worst
knockcr on the townsite and I never
spent a nickel in my life without making
n fuss about it afterward. He said that
if ever | darkcncd his door again he'd
lie me in a sailors Knot and drop me
down an elevator shaft.
What does a merchant gain by such
foolishncSS?'
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
How to Have Peace With Unpreparedness

Can nothing save H. from This i'm
pending burden Of preparedness asks
a Paciiist congreSSman. Cant "" hhv"
peace with our n~cighbors without IT,
ing a big piStol?'
Beyond all manner IF doubt. YES if W.
will meet n number Of conditions which
he American people seem strongly dis
inclined 10 meet.
Give up The Monroe doctrine: S.y 70
Germany. Great Britain, France. u"
Japan and an the other powers big 1T
tie and intermediate that we wash unr
hands forever of the protection we have
maintained for ninety years over the
young republics a. The south
nismantlc The Notifications at the
Panama canal and let the first powerful
nation that wants il take ii.
Get out If the Philippines and Hawai-.
Yield to the wishes of Japan with ~
Spcct to Japanese immigration. Iapln>e
ownership Of land amd admission If lap
anrSc to our public schools.
Abandon :hc historic American ,ior
triue that American lives and American
interests viii be protected abroad H.
their just rights.
Give mp the john Hay doctrine ~ ;hc
open door IN China.
Let other countries with their RI !!
interests 10 what they please with
American
Proclaim IT, the world. i'm >hor+. tlat
We are too proud 10 fight" too >icrIed
in c-pmmercialiSm t. contend for Justice
and honor. too welded Ia slothful nca,o
to resent insult or wrong. Tn >hcrt.
that henceforth and forever we are ~, n.
devoted to the Chinese philosophv. ~ life
and the Chinese brand Of patriotism
and love Of country.
II j. I'll ~ simple and easy n t~lla'.
Spokane Spokesman Review.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
A FEW KICKS.

The vinegar YOU sent to our house
yesterday had gasolene in it, complain
ed Quigway.
We'll. you ought TO feel that you're
ahead of the game" observed the grocer.
The way the price of gasolcne has been
climbing lately. a mans in luck 10 get
some at the price of vinegar. But its
impossible 10 please some people. ] rec
ken YOU d kick il you were going 10 be
operated on for appendicitis. Quigway.
You've got a reputation as a kicker. and
you feel that YOU must live up Ia IT,"
If a man doesn't read the riot act
when he gets stnng. explained Quicway
he'll be the fall guy for everybody. all
the wear round. II seems TO me that
merchants should BE- glad - have their
attention called to the bad breaks they
make. 50 they may avoid such breaks
a~fterward. but they don't show the right
spirit.
Il went to Bulger's meat market the
other dav To ask him what he means by
sending me Il pound and a half Of bone
when | order a pound and'a half ~ meat
That man Bulger has no conscience. NJ
all. If he could buy Il sutta pcrcha cow
he'd be happy He's so afraid he'll sell
somebody a steak that's tender and Juicy
that he has grown old before his time.
Worry Of that sort is killing him
WEI. / went i'm and talked to him
quite politely. No reasonable man would
have taken offense AT anything | said.
But Bulecr. after listening to a few
words picked M q soupbone that must
have weighed twenty pounds and said
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

OTHER PAPERs'.oPINIoNs.


That Clam0r for Resolutions of WARNING.
The News Washington correspondent
reports that most of those who were
clamoring a few days ago for the adop-
ton of resolutions Of warning have com
pounded an JUNCTION Of ~fiattery with
which 10 heal the hurt to their pride.
Foreseeing that these resolutions will he
swept aside. they nave begun to say that
the discussion aud excitement the in
PRODUCTION Of Them has given rise to have
served 10 warn Americans against the
danger of putting themselves in harms
reach ~ the German submarines and 50
they are content with the present cen>c
qucnccS Of their work.
On this theory. Mrs. OIcary i cclebra
ted COW. as she contemplated the miles
Of ruin she had wrought might have ex-
tracted much dissatisfaction from the re-
Election that she had thoroughly demon
strated the imprudence Of keeping 4
Kerosene lamp within reach Of bovine
heels.
Whether the excitement these resolu
tions have given rise Ia has added any
thing 20 the warning preceding events
had given may he doubted But onc work
these resolutions surely have wrought.
They have embarrassed The presidrpt
and secretary Of stale. They have weak
cncd the force of their representations
10 Germany. They have Inundated III"
nation. They have iyreastd the liability
of war with Germany by encouraging
Germany in the belief that tn president
j. puwcriess TO enforce his demands.
We doubt if there are MANY people at
once sensible and patriotic who VIII br
grudge these men any satisfaction they
may bc able to get from tha stldy Of
their Observation-Disclosures News.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
From Devil" to District Attorney.

Dewitt BuWmcr. at u time 4 levi
~ the Nidcttc onRe, was las Friha,-
appointed district attorney If ;iIc Tw"n
q seventh judicial district to fill out the
uncXpircd term Of John =. Ward.
Judge" Bowmcr is climbing fast. II.
SAID when he was Il barefoot boy ~ ia
\ i,lcttc Office that he would some day b.
Governor Of Texas and it may turn our
not to he ~ huge a Joke ms il scemcu
at that Time. ANYWAY. We wish peVv:tt
success in his carccr.-FIUrcnce Fidctr.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
This May Interest You.

If You suffer with pains in your back or
side. stiff and sore muscles or Joints. or
rheumatic aches, or nave symptoms Of kid
ney trouble such a. puffy swellings under
the eyes or sleep disturbing bladder all
ments, YOU should know that Foley Kilne,
Pills have benefited thousand in like con
dltion. Martinez Drng Store, north corner
Market Square.-adv.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Chased a Dead Texas Mule.

london reports that a dead Texas
mule. floating feet up in the Mciitcr
ranean Sea has been mistaken fo- 4
submarine. chased and fired upon. III
the mule had only been interviewed !
bit earlier in the game. she p&rtl haa.
might have found that mistaken identity
is often as dangerous rs a submarine
Austin Statesman.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Perhaps You've Got II.

and loses the other-Japancse ProvcrI
Perhaps You've Got Ii.
When YOU sncczc,
And You whcczc,
And YOU shiver
In the breeze.
And YOU shake.
And you quake
Like Il chicken with the pip;
When your tum
Is on the bum.
And you're yearning
For the rum.
And YOU re dizzy
Listen, Lizzie,
You are going 10 have the grip.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Bribinq Him.

Write him that we Won't let his wife
have any more goods until he has paid
her BILL
BETTER write him that if he will pay
her bill We won't let her have any more
goods.'-IIouston Post.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

Ny good lady. The last place 7 STAY.
IN al the lanalady E"p, when ! IN "
LandIady- Oh. did She Well. I'm
not going ia. ! want ny money IN ad.
vancc.-TidiBts.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

Accntrifugal pump that ha, been III
vented in England l. said ~ handle un
screened sewage ~ "A consistency that
would choke any other type VI pump.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Too Bad!

What the matter little boz ,"
y. Mamma : gone and drowned III ihe
Kittens
Dear, dear. now that's too bad"
Yes and she promised-boo hoo
that / could do cara la Month
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

That Terrible catastrophe iu thc EI PAS,
county iail cali for au explanation. Why
fifty prisoners ~huuid Pc huddlcd in 4 dis
injecting room Of the jail. which was filled
with gasoline vanor from the dipping vut
beng used to battle ihc prisoners a~ 2 nrc
caution against typhu~ infection. aud mcn
IA the crowd permitted ~ strike matches. y
past uudcr-taudiur.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Choice of Evils.

Grubbs-IIavc you decided where You
viii 20 on your vacation
Stubbs-Not yet. | have read a lot Ct
resort literature. bnt haven't been able
to make up my mind whether | prefer
being bored 10 rcath or thrown into
bankruptcy. Rochester Democrat
Chronicle
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

The three vea~ old boy iu oklahoma who.
playing with . tarect rtic. shot and killed
his httlc sister. va~ but au unconscious
instrument VT Fatv. But what shall NV
said 40 the grown up person Who was re-
>pon~ihlc tor ht~infaut~ having thr deadly
weapon IN his hands,
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

When all men praised the peacock for
his beautiful tail. the birds cried out
with one consent. Look AT his legs. and
Mat 4 voicc,'-lapancsc Proycrb.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Woe to Father.

Lots of woe To father ONES,
And he feels an utter fool
When he cannot do the sums
That they give his boy at school.
Louisville Couricr-Journal.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

Most great men 10 not look the part,
You'll notice every day
That wcln a man il very smart
He never acts that way.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

II know / am said Uncle Ebcn dat
KEEP. 50 busy lookin' up for clouds vii sill
yer linin's dat he done walked into a
coal holc.'-Washington Star.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09

How nOw?'
This fellow told me h. WAS going IL
show me the beauties If the town.
Well. didn't hc?'
lie meant parks and Office buildings.
] WAS prepared to see some feminine
Iovclincss. '-pittsburg Post.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Gore Knows How II Feels.

Mr.. Gore now knows how Ii feels 10 be-
picked nap by Al Oklahoma cyclone and
dropped in the next rvnnty. Waco
Times Herald.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
Easy.

Easy.
link says hc car marry any woman
he plcaScs.''
II don't doubt IL. ANY one ought "a
bc able 10 marry u woman whom .Iinx
plcascs.' Houston Post.
Brownsville herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1910-current, 1916-03-09
NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS

Checks should hr made payable Z" IN
Brownsville Herald Tihii hing go. business
communication should hc addressed L" Lh'
c,m,.nuv. and items. letters. etc. intended Tor
uunFitatiuu should lr addressed ~ T-hli"F- lh'
Herald. Rrownsylie. Texas. Letters mtendr,
for notification should W. signed ~itA IA" igi
nrin,.d Il u.t d.sit-d. huf ~ wlil he c.idrHcc ~
god faith w. tns part W rhr writer.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1916-05-26
HOW THE PENSION
BUSINESS OF THE
COUNTRY IS DONE
GREAT, angular red brick
building, set in a green park.
is the home of the pension
bui1d;ru - uT..ltx4~ T..

~ is the home of the pension
building at Washington. 1t
was built at time when American
architecture was in a formative
period. A feature of the exterior of
the building is broad frieze, showing
repeated groups of infantry, cavalry,
artillery and seamen in bas-relief. In
side great, beautiful court, somewhat
marred by being made to contain bat
talions of file cases, is another attrac-
tive feature. In times past, when there
were such things as inaugural balls
in Washington, these balls were held
within the court.
1t seems to be the fixed belief of the
average citizen having business with
the pension Office that the commits
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1916-05-26
Much Work to Make Helmet.

Sixty-four distinct operations are
Necessary in turning out one of the
plain. steel helmets worn by French
soldiers. The first step is stamping
out disks from larke sheets of steel. A
special machine is used for this pur-
pose, exerting a pressure of $50 tons,
and capable of cutting out 5000 steel
disks day Each disk is placed under
a shaping machine, which presses the
disk into the form of helmet with a
broad rim. Polishing and cutting ma
chimes remove all Irregularities in the
helmet, after which holes are punched
in the crown, some for ventilation pur-
poses, others for fastening on the regi-
mental crest. Each helmet is cleaned
and dipped in a special mixture, which
makes it dull, inconspicuous blush
gray. A lining and leather chin straps
are then fastened on, and the helmet
is complete. Since tho French army
has been protected with the helmets
the number of deaths due to wounds
In the head has decreased to remark
able extent-Pearsons Weekly.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1916-05-26
Machine Stays by Wireless.


An electrical machine invented by
a st. Paul man may be used by Ger.
many in killing enemies with wireless
according to st. Paul dispatch to the
Philadelphia Record. The machine
was first developed to kill rabbits in
North Dakota Charles F. Billows
aided by electricians, perfected the
machine, which flashed rabbits and
dogs to death at a distance of 107
feet Electricity for experiments was
obtained from Thomas street trolley
wire.
When the present war broke out the
inventor realized it's possibilities. Eng
fish and French officers were sounded
as to it's availability, but they refused
The machine then was turned over tt
Germany, where it was accepted fol
experimentation.
81 believe it was used in the present
Russian campaign" said Billows. 1.-THE
possibilities of the machine are un
limited. With large voltage there II
no reason why human beings coult
not be flashed to death at long dis
tances.s / believe Russian powder sta
lions were set off by our machine"
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1916-05-26
THE OLD SOLDIERS!

Our ranks are growing thinner. every
year,
And death is still a winner. every year,
Yet we still must stick together
Like the toughest sort of leather
And in any kind of weather. every year
Our comrades have departed, every year.
And leave us broken hearted, every year
But their spirits fondly greet us
And constantly entreat us
To come that they may meet us, every
year.
Our steps are growing slower. every year.
Pale death is still a mower. every year,
Yet we faced him in the battle
Amid the muskets' rattle,
Defying showers of metal, every year.
We are growing old and lonely. every
year,
+, We have recollection only. every year,
And we bled for this grand nation
On many a field and station.
And with any kind of ration, every year
Many people may forget us, every year
And our enemies may fret us. every year
But while onward we are drifting
Our souls with hopes are lifting
To heavenly scenes still shifting, every
year.
The Stars and Stripes grow brighter. ev
cry year,
With labor burdens lighter, every year,
BY blood of soldier sages
Along the rolling ages
On freemen's holy pages. every year.
In the May time OF the flowers. ever,
year.
We have lived in golden hours, ever,
year,
And our deeds be sung in story
Through the future growing hoary
With a blaze of living glory. every year