The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-10
His Deputy Wife.

When Mr.. Digge came home one
evening he found his wife ~ensconced
IN the Morris chair perusing a popu-
ar novel.
"Wsil," said he, who is getting
dinner?"
NO one" replied she, marking the
inc with her finger.
And why not?" demanded Diggs,
q touch of asperity in his tones.
I've struck" calmly declared the
woman who had therefore borne his
name-and bigger things, to say moth
ing of three little ones-with forth
tude, aye, with apparent pleasure.
You have finally converted me to
your doctrine of an eight-hour day for
working people. I've been putting in
about sixteen hours"
Just how do you propose to a
age?" inquired Diggs, when he had
partially recovered.
That is a problem too deep for my
poor BRAIN" confessed Mrs. Digge,
with sweet humility. "I'll leave it to
returned to her book.
Hesitating, undecided whether to
kick over a chair and return to the
NAtJ Va W stay ALI ASnt IL OuL, OlSSG
finally chose the latter course. Up
setting a chair would not upset Mrs.
Digge's determination. In her gentle
way b was something of a stand
patter.
"a mere servant would not do
ventured Digge, after profound medi-
tation.
"Um-m-h," murmured his wife
finally. The poor, but lovely heroine.
having refused for the eighteenth
time a tainted millionaire, was ac-
cepting the village blacksmith. How
very unlike real life!
What | need" said Digge, scratch
ing his head in perplexity, lis a dep
uty WIFE"
The reader dropped her book.
"A deputy wife-that's the idea,"
reflected Digge. Then I'd have some
body to go to the ball games with me.
You hate sports"
Mrs. Digge stared at the wall.
What with looking after the chill
dren, the general household d~rudgery
and all, the work would be very try
ing" continued he. Wages alone
would not be sufficient inducement for
the right sort of girl"
THE right sort of GIRL" echoed
his wife rather Jelly. what induce
ments would you offer?"
Il mean," explained the head of
the house, "a pretty, refined, educated
girl, who would be a congenial COM
panion for me when you are off duty.
AS to the inducements, l should bring
her candy and flowers, have her come
downtown to luncheon with me some
times, and buy her a new hat or gown
occasionally"
Mrs. Digge sat n%ervously tapping
the arm of her chair, her lips set in a
straight, hard line.
by jovei" calculated Digge, smit-
ing fist against palm. That's a great
scheme! I'll advertise for her to-
morrow. 1t will be fine to see a sweet,
fresh, young face opposite me at the
breakfast table. She will always have
a smile and a pleasant word for me
and try to look her best when I'm
around" said he modestly, because
she would naturally hope to beer
promoted, in case anything should
happen to you"
A pale, green light shone in Mrs.
Digge's eyes and her bosom heaved.
But her husband, unheeding, pro-
ceeded:
I'm order to keep her from leaving"
said he, musingly, Il might have to
promise that after, say, two years
OF faithful service, I would get a di-
vorce and marry her."
John Diggei" shrieked his our
ragged wife, springing to her feet, Are
you crazy? Go and put the coffee pot
on while l change my dress. It's late,
but a broil a steak and fry some
potatoes" :.