The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-11-13
Don Marquis
Column
A Tale of Pride and Hauehtiness.

n idie VI ETiue ana HaugntlnesS.
Henry Haverstraw was a proud man.
And we'll he might be. He was the
hero of Presidential Election, the
republic.
The results had been determined by
the ballots cast In school house in a
State.
And Henry Haverstraw. one second
before the polls closed. had galloped up
on his old gray mare and cast the De-
Henry Haverstraw was a naughty
man. He came to think of himself as
q sort Of. Warwick. lie came to think
OF himself, not merely as the man who
had cast the Deciding Vote. but as the
Deciding Vote; as that abstraction. the
Ballot, become concrete and incarnate:
he was the Electorate: he was the re-
public personified,
SO he began to dress like the Uncle
Sam of the cartoons; and The resemb-
lance was striking. Ungrateful-as so
many Republics archie sold the old
gray mare on which he had galloped to
glory ana Dough! Ford car.
Proud and naughty as he was. Henry
Haverstraw had a daughter who was
sweet mild. gentle. beautiful and ro-
mantle.
Her name was Doris
On a fertile farm In little known
county Of Indiana lived the Center OF
Population.
Ills name was william Harvester.
The l.. s. Census OF the year 1910 had
demonstrated that the country's center
| OF population fell exactly on the home
| forty OF William Harvester's farm.
And being the Center o: Population
| not only made William Ha.'crter proud
han hnf ~. VT 40
about the countryside In his Ford car
showing just how proud aud naughty he
was.
william Harvester had a son. named
| Harold, who was not proud and
naughty. but good. pure. handsome and
obliging.
But Harold's father would not allow
| him to run with any OF the other boys
In the county. Remember the proud
oldsman would say, that your Father
is the Center of PopuiatiSn!'
| Henry Haverstraw. the Deciding Vote
| moved back East to Indiana. bringing
with him his haughtiness, his Ford car
and his lovely daughter. Doris. The
| Haverstraws settled on the next farm to
the Harvesters'
| The day the two gnarled strong old
men met in the main street Of the
| county seat town. in their FoNd cars,
| Is still remembered I'm Indiana.
1t was contest Of Pride and scorn'
But while the old men battled Doris
and Harold looked and loved!
How could they help it, being what
they were?
The feud that grew up between The
l Deciding Vote and the Center a Popu-
latlon was bitter and impiacable.
Remember" Henry Haverstraw
| would say 10 his daughter. that You
are the daughter Of the Deciding Vote:
Wed Harold Harvester and you need
never darken my door again"
But love is stronger'than ALL
They eloped.
And the two gnarlcd old heroes were
more angry at one another than ever.
Every Saturday afternoon, In the main
street Of the county seat town the Cen
ter of Population would aliGht from his
Ford car and battle with the, Deciding
Vote. Not one jot ~ title of his pride
or hauteur would either one abate.
Months went by.
And then a baby was horn to Doris
and Harold.
They were starving when this hap
pened, the fact should have
been mentined earlier, perhaps.
Would the cries of the new born In.
FAINT soften the hearts of the Decidinp
Vote aud the Center Of Population
those bitter strong old aristrocrats'
We forgot to mention that the In.
FAINT was hungry, also.
The child was named Future OF GU,
Country.
would the old men accent tbi,
name, each one OF them, az persona
tribute to his own pride and varNt,
for the baby's parents?
The hest ending to this little story
In 100 words or less, submitted befor,
November rs. will be printed in thil
column.
l DON MARQUIS.