New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-05-14

no class distinctions in this country,
~ We may pretend to be democratic
..,+ Of peope, who wouldn't dream Of tolerat-
- nobility. or an aristocracy, or any such
,,ol;sbness: but don't you believe it. We do
40 an aristocracy, real, honest-to-goodness
,-,rsr Glass. composed of Best People. Like
N hest people. they possess certain some
.h;,g Of bearing and an indefnable cticos Of
~.nner that set them apart from hoi pouoL
Won may not hope or even wish to be one OF
.hsm. but sou are probably snob enough to
I.ra sneaking fondness for discussing them.
Trrn 20 the advertising sections Of next months
;,.us Of your favorite periodical-out week
hesore last-and let us study them together
Consider. for example, this automobile ad-
,srtisement. wherein a gilded youth leans af-
.estonately across the steering wheel Of his
r,rv black Double Six, in front Of a very pale
FILLMORE. Scrutinize that young man and then
NV to imagine him earning his own living.
Certainly not! He inherited his money, and
after going through some prominent univer-
,+v where he was known as the Chinless
Wonder. settled down TO an arduous career Of
helping ravishing fappers in and out Of double
SKIES
For they seldom drive, these advertisement
sristocrats. Not for them the easy jounce Of
he boulevard, the llurch and jar Of the open
highway. Let the bourgeoisie drive if it will;
gty rest serenely in their rooted cars, happy
!, their fayorite outdoor sport of helping one
smother in and out
Not that they remain always in the same
Il. Ill e ,lo
-mayhap in some quiet country byway,
sketch.ng from the car, or on the very brink
Of the Grand Canyon, eating luncheon. But
seldom indeed will you surprise them actually
going anywhere. On the very rare occasions
when they do drive they 90 about in parties Of
six or more; and there is always room for four
more in the car.
Now turn to a clothing advertisement and
zee how they dress. One fact becomes imme-
Giately obvious: there are no stout men among
the adaristocrats. Similarly, there are no short
men. You and I may have reached the avoirdu-
poisdal point where we begin to wonder if there
might not be something in this 'eat and grow
thin" nonsense, after all. They are all fair,
skinny, and twenty-five. To be a genuine
adaristocrat you must weigh not over 12l
pounds, ringside; and you must be six feet
seven-or preferably ten-inches in height
It is in the mems wear advertisement that
you will find our aristocrat at work: not com
mon. low-down office or field work, of course,
but work suitable for a fellow who is neat
dresser and owns 1917 Immovable. Mostly,
he addresses boards Of directors. Yes, and
the directors, realizing that such two-button.
form-ftting, Kampus Kut Norfolk could be
worn only by Leader of Men, promptly elect
him secretary of the company, or, if worst
comes to worst, general purchasing agent
Later YOU may see the Leader Of Men in
his lofty Office on Wall Street, gazing out Of
the window upon the busy scene below, as
though wondering what to do with it, now that
he has It. He wears a three-button, patch
pocket, soft roll cutaway, the secret Of his
success.
Collars. too. are a test Of caste. a cursory
prusal Of any magazine or car card will bring
home a great truth: that the one thing the
People Who Really Matter al1oays wear with
collar is q tennis racket The ordinary necktie
pardon. cravat-is allowable to be sure, but
after ALPS said and done tennis racket's the
thing no gentleman would be seen without. IN
fancy one can envisage the adaristocratc
collar-wearer on the point of purchasing
batch Of his favorite brand;
"a dozen collars, please"
What size, sir?"
Why forget"
What tennis racket do you carry, sirl'
Thirteen and a half ounces"
"Ah, then you require a fifteen and quarter
collar"
Another garment that the Better Sort usu-
ally wear with a collar is q smoking jacket
Few things are peasanter than 70 come IN
after hard days work at the directors meet
ing, slip on the old slippers and smoking jacket,
and snugge down into nice, clean, three-inch,
automatic interlocking tab, two-for-a-quarter
Ashforth. That's the life!
Just as no stout adaristocrats wear cloth
ing so no adaristocrat over twenty-nine years
Of age wears "a collar It's a bit saddening,
NE