The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1916-12-21

tive appeared in our office last week
with such a pleased oppression on
his face that we were constrained to
ask of him "What's happened? You
haven't located those missing stock
yards vet, have you?" "No, but I'm
still working on them. But 1 located
somebody" he added mysteriously.
"What now" we asked. "You have
not found the miscreant who dumped
the cans on the oiled road, have you ?"
don't say. Tell us who it could have
BEEN" give come to the conclusion
that it must have been Jim Clements"
he explained.
Roy Cox raised big broad black
mustache while his wife, was away,
which he groomed with great care and
pride. elbow will your wife like it?"
we asked. ~ don't care how she likes
it" he boosted, throwing out his chest
with an air of defiance. "She staid
away two weeks longer than she said
she would already, and for every day
she overstays I'm going to wear this
week when she does get back" We
were considerably impressed with his
Independent way until we saw him re-
turning from the train with Mrs. Cox
and the mustache was GONE!
The Grange school day has been
postponed. It seems the teacher came
down with la grippe the last day, and
Lecturer Ford endeavoring to locate
a substitute, phoned to nearly a score
of likely pedagogues but found every
one sick. whats the use? 2" thought
he. eff everyone's going to be sick,
let's call it off," so he did so. He has
not announced the date for holding it
yet, but will probably announce it in
next weeks issue.
/ Saturday night, December 30th, the
Grange will hold county fair. Moth
ing like it has ever been seen in Fin
ley-or anywhere else for that mat
ter. 1t will be absolutely unique. At
fractions have been secured from all
parts of the world and no one can af-
ford to miss this grand spectacle.
"Omnis Gallia est divisa in parties
tres" and Jim Clements and Alex Nc
Neill seem to have corner on all
three.
We wonder what those Pasco and
Spokane attorneys will do with their
| S15OO.OO warrant should the court de-
eide that Alex McNeill was not COM
missioner when the warrant was pass
ed by the board Of county commission
erS.
In neighboring prohibition state
the easiest way to secure bit of
whiskey was on a doctors certificate.
One old Southerner dropped into a
drug store armed with such certifi-
cate with such regularity that the
druggist began to investigate. He
found the man signing the certificates
was no physician at all and so in
formed the Colonel. 81 know it, adj
mitted the Colonel. "Well, why did
he put an M. D. after his name,
them" asked the druggist. "That
stands for Mighty Dry" explained the
Colonel.
Some of the farmers along the oiled
road are running regular pound.
Farmers from the lower valley and
the hills let their dogs follow them UNI
til they get nearly to town, and then,
fearing the muzzling order, stop and
lock the beasts up in the nearest barn.
The farmers ought to take this order
seriously and do their best to cooper
ate with the authorities in their efforts
to stamp out the hydrophobia. If
they can't secure muzzles they should
adopt the simple expedient of keep
ing the dogs tied up.
This Grippe business is no joke. AL
most everyone in the valley has had
a touch of it and in several cases they
have had the real thing-and anyone
who has ever had the real article has
lots of respect for it. Several Of the
neighbors have been pretty sick for
two or three weeks with no let up in
sight.