New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-04-09


keeps track of things. Zapp.
"Also feller's wife could keep track
of things. too" Zapp said Surprising
a German business man starts out Mon
dav morning with a line Of brand new
food cards. and when he comes home
that night he foolishly leaves them IN
his overcoat pocket while he goes to
wash up. And supposing the wife finds
out that his celery and olive cards which
goes week after week without single
hole in em. has got punched out two
portions each. She then looks through
the entire line and discovers that GER
tain other cards which ordinarily amt
touched. like the Cream de Mint card
and the ice cream card. has also got a
couple holes punched into EN-. Blrsky.
What show does a Teller like that stand
TO prove an abb? Am | right or
wrong?
IT'D be a whole lot worser for Teller
if him and three other men gets to-
gether on Monday morning and makes
M four full decks Of ~ food cards each.
and then starts up a little game. Lapp
unused. IF such Teller plays in hard
luck and continually bucks up against
such hands as RoaSts full Of Olives when
he is holding only three small Entrees.
we would say. for example, it's a queS-
ton of time only when he is either froz-
en- out altogether, understand. or else
quits with only tWenty-eight Charlotte
Russes to go on with for the rest of the
week"
"He could also probably get arrested
for it. Zapp," Birsky said, because IN
Germany, even before the war, the
things Teller could get arrested for
run all the way from Cornet Playing In
the First Degree down as far as Polite
ness to Old Ladies and Cripples Second
Offence. and the consequences was that
165 per cent Of the population OF Ber-
lin was either out on bail or under suS-
pended sentence. But now that's moth
ing already. Since the war started.
Zapp and they put on the lld tight.
understand. and everything to eat is
untersagt, Zapp, the Grand Jury of Ber-
lin County is sitting eighteen hours a
day handing down indictments against
respectable business men. doctors and
lawyers, for wilfully. malciously. felo-
niously and against the statute in such
case made and provided and the peace
and dignity of Wilhelm Hohenzollern,
King of Prussia and Emperor of Ger
many. eating potatoes without the skins
on. Zapp. or drinking coffee with more
than two Jumps of sugar in it. Yes,
Zapp, the only people in Germany which
amt habitual criminals. understand,
died of starvation six months ago, and
if Teller goes to work and thought
lessly eats full meal, understand, he
runs a chance of spending the rest of his
life in Jail for complication of offences
ranging all the way from Anchovies to
Zwieback."
That may be, Birsky,' Zapp said.
but the Kaiser could cut EN- down on
their food a whole lot more and still
the Germans would Mt starve. because
when his family doctor tells the aver
age American that he is making a god
out of his stomach and digging his own
grave with his teeth. understand.
that's the equivalence of German go
ing on a strict diet. Birsky. which even
to-day yet, it is considered in Bavaria
that if a man limits himself to twelve
quarts Of beer a day. he is awful mar
row-minded and. in a way. a total alb
staner. so. after all, Birsky, it amt
so much stinginess with the Kaiser as
wanting to make the German people as
healthy as the German army"
1.-THE German army healthy Birsky
exclaimed.
That's what | said" Zapp replied
THE whole German army gets once
month vaccinating for fifty dis
eases ranging from HangNails to acute