davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

every million Christmas presents dis
Played in stores a certain percentage
of people buys something which they
couldn't afford and gives it to GER
tain percentage Of people which amt
got no use for it at all. So she goes
to work and gets up Society for the
Prevention of Useless Giving, and con-
sequently a certain percentage of dry
goods stores loses n certain percentage
of customers which formerly had a
rotten bank account and a good dis
position, and has now got good bank
account and a rotten disposition"
But Miss Morgan done this for lot
of salesladies which used to spend
their money so fOOlishly at Christmas,
Zapp. that they had nothing left to
take q vacation with in the summer
time"
"That may be so, Birsky," Zapp said,
"and while amt exactly a certified
public accountant, BirSkv, figure that
if 80 per cent of Christmas shoppers
followed Miss MOrgan's advice, Birsky,
tie drygoOds stores would shut down
around Christmas, and all them sales
ladies would not only take vacation
in the summer time, but in the winter
time also; and then the question is.
how is them Salesladies going to raise
money for their winter vacatiOns?"
Miss Morgan would get up a sub
scriptiOn maybe" Birsky suggested.
'And the proceeds after the expenses
of collection were deducted would sup
port twenty-three six hundredthS of q
saleslady for COOS hours, Birsky,"
Zapp concluded, (which the trouble
with them people that figure out the
averages is that they don't consider
human beings as men and women, but
as fractions ausgereckOned to hum
dred thOuSandths yet. Also it's good
thing to figure out the averages on
the percentages of people that set off
fireworks and don't get burned, and
the percentage of people that it
wouldn't do a bit of harm to if they
bought once In while for somebody
present, useful or otherwise. In other
words, BirSky, if you're going to reck-
on up the averages on anything, the
best way is to figure how it will affect
one hundred one hundredths of the
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

follow. Former times if retail dry
goods concern didn't got half their
;SaleSladies faint on 'em every night
for two weeks before Christmas, their
creditors would come down on them
and ask them to discount their bills.
Nowadays if cash girl gets head
ache. that's big already"
Birsky nodded sadly.
christmas is dying out" he de-
clared. 1.-The people is getting too
wise, Zapp. 1t used to be that if you
wanted to push your stickers,-wheth-
er it was handkerchiefs, socks, neck
ties, oder gloves, all you had to dc
was to wait till the first of December,
mark 'em up so per cent over the regu-
lar retail price for fresh goods, put
;'em In red paper boxes, understand,
and your customers practically used
blackjacks on each other to get at the
counter where the goods was dis
played. Christmas silver articles was
also good sales. 1 seen but.er dishes
go like hot cakes, which the SaleSladies
WIS WdIueu HOl ~ uuSC lllClh VII AIlI
feathers even, on account it might
scratch the silver plate and show the
brass underneath. But that's a thing
of the past now. And who done it,
Zapp? 1t was the feller that invented
the saying: DO your Christmas shop
ping early"
"WhO did invent it?' Zapp asked.
II should know who invented it -
Birsky exclaimed. "But whoever he
was, Zapp, he put a bigger crimp in
the cheap handkerchief business than
the feller who invented rhinitis. tablets,
because If you are doing your Christ
mas shopping arount the first Of OctO-
her when all them pOOr fellers that
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
ToRTURING SKIN TROUBLES
That Itch, Burn and Disfiaure Healed
by Cuticura. Trial Free.

Bathe with plenty of Cuticura Soap
and hot water to cleanse and purify.
Dry lightly and apply Cuticura Oint-
ment to soothe and heal. This stops
itching instantly, clears away pimples.
removes dandruff and scalp irritations.
and heals red, rough, sore hands.
Free sample each by mail with Book
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L.
Boston. Sold eyerywhere.-Adv.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
DICTATES OF FASHION

Jet is one Of the smart hat trim
mings this year and so there are many
jet ornaments for sale.
Tassels of beads are as easy trim
ming for a hat. They must be placed
with skill, of course, to look right.
There are various little fur orna-
ments that can be bought for trimming
hats. These are especially smart used
on velvet hats.
A small metal ribbon bow and metal
tassel is pretty hat trimming. 1t is
placed on a ribbon hat band so that
the tassel bangles over the crown Of
the hat.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Holly Laaves.

The Christmas tree is still bearing
fruit.
It's all over. The Christmas stock
ing was hanged last night.
Everyone but the joke writer will
have something new for Christmas.
The bachelor will find a hole in his
sock Christmas morning, as usual.
Christmas comes but once a year,
and the man with seven children and
nineteen grandchildren rejOiceth be-
cause thereof.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Anxious to Helm.

Mrs. Gadder is terribly distressed
because she hasn't been able to de-
eide on a Christmas present for her
poodle. Why, she's actually on the
verge of nervous prostratiOn."
That's dreadful. Will no one offer
a suggestiOn?"
"Oh, yes. Some of the spiteful
neighbors would be only too glad to
purchase gifts that would shorten the
little darlings life"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Christmas Crowds.

Nowhere is the good will of Christ
mas time more evident than in typi-
cally Christmas crowd. At almost
any other time of year there would
be scowls and even harsh words were
so many tender feet trOd upon, prog
ress so much delayed by those in
front and so urgently requested by
those behind.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
The bluebird has long been in favor

The bluebird has long been in favor
and still remains popular. Because of
its significance it is a suitable design
to use for articles to grace child's
room. One mother covered an old
clOtheShOrse with canvas, and on the
material she embroidered here and
there bluebird. The woodwork had
first been painted white to match the
furniture in her child's room. The re-
suit was a screen that was not only q
beautiful addition to the room, but an
inspiration to the child as well.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
OF Course Not.

"This health expert says had cook
ing causes more divorces than any
thing else."
"Oh, you can't believe all the ex-
perts say. Now, have it on good au-
thority that cabarets cause more d.
vorces than anything else, yet hard
ly anybody goes to a cabaret to eat"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
DoII's House.

Mothers who have little girls might
profit by this recommendation: Buy
a large box from your grocer, put legs
under it and nail three shelves inside.
Use the first shelf as a kitchen, the
second as a dining room and the third
as bedroom. Then furnish the little
rooms after a visit to the and 10
cent store The dolls house can be
kept out of the way in corner of a
room.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
MOTHERS JOY SALVE

for Colds, Group, Pneumonia and
Asthma GOOSE GREASE LINIMENT
for Neuralgia, rheumatism and
Eprains. For sale by oil Druggists.
GOOSE GREASE COMPANY, MFRS,
Greensboro, N. C.-Adv.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

Tendencies of the dresses this fall and
winter to creep up higher around
the neck, leaving the decoIIete
strictly to evening wear, is clearly
shown in this afternoon dress of the
latest design. Embroidered with
silver and trimmed at the bottom
with wide band of Iapin, this dress
is one of the most charming to en-.
ter the style book so far this winter.
Chief among it's attractions is the
fact that it makes up equally we'll
in any color or material, which is
not common in afternoon dresses.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Extra LARGE Size.

"There goes Miss GrabcOin, the
heiress. 1t is said that 4 duke once
drank champagne out Of her slipper"
POSSIBLY sO," answered the caustic
young woman. "SOme of those foreign
nOblemen have All astonishing ca
pacity for wine"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
clinuinu to an Ideal.

81 told my boy that Santa Claus is
only q myth"
"How did he take it?"
"TIe didn't seem much impressed. He
merely remarked that every great and
good man has to be subjected to some
kind of unfavOrable comment"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
seeino Santa

Papa. I'd like to see Santa Claus
''But if he found out that any little
boy was looking for him, he would
promptly vanish"
'That's all right. I'm going to rig
up the chimney as perlscOpe."
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
pont,s for Parents.

Christmas week don'ts for pa
terfamilias: Don't open bureau
drawers. Don't look into clos
cts. When the collar button
rolls under the chiffonier or the
bed, don't pursue it; it is better
to let thy collar go loose than
to risk the premature revelation
of the Christmas socks, neckties
or lace curtains. Be blind, be
blind-and again, be blindl
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
DoIefuI Associations.

"Why is your husband so irritable
about wOmen's fancy work clubsY'
81 guess it is because he had such
a time last year having to stay in
the house while his broken leg was
knitting"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

WHEN Christmas comes, neve
wv mind the cold.
l like to get up prompt an g
to school,
An do my sums,
An clean the walks 'thout waitin' to o.
told
Though 1 like sleddin' better, as rule,
Or bYildin' forts But nothin' amt SC
bad
When Christmas comes.
When Christmas comes. I'd just as Eet
give half
My coo1y to the baby, an take care
About the crumbs.
It's fun to make the little fellow laugh.
An don't mind his taggin' everywhere
He can't help bein' little! I'm not mad
When Christmas comes.
When Christmas comes. don't forget to
give
My shoes a wipe. an scrub my ears a
lot
Till my head huns.
An mother says, That's boys too gooo
to live!"
But I'm not 'frnid of dyin', cause I'Ta
not
No different from always-only glad
When Christmas comes!
Abigail Williams Burton in December
St Nicholas.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

amt
what it used to
be-" Barnett Zapp
remarked, as he
sat opposite Louis
Birsky in Wasser-
bauer's restau-
rant.
"Sure l know"
Birsky s a / d,
spreading a slice
of rye bread with
mustard as he
waited for an or
der of kreplOch
soup, with ge-
fullte tebecheS to
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Takinn Chances.

Those stockings are very flimsy."
All the girls are wearing them, ma. :"
"They might do to wear, but they
will never do to hang up as recep-
tacle for Christmas presents, my
dear"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Natural Suggestion.

"The accounts say that the new En-
peror Karl was deeply touched at the
first interview with his ministers OF
state"
"Great Scott Did they try to bor
row from him that quicll?"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
ElatterX.

'NIrs. Green fiattered me greatly
yesterday, and knew she was flatter-
ing, too"
'"That so? What did she say?"
"She said l had a wonderful huS-
band"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Meta, Thread Run in Silk Hosiery.

Silk stockings of black and delicate
cOlOrs are decorated with fine metal
threads run in darning fashion at the
sides and in u shadow design on the
inStep.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
Foolish Waste Of cnin

"Dear me, it's SO hard to buy for a
man."
"Yes. hate to spend the none,
that way, too"
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16
What Is II?

A nickels worth of ribbon,
A penny's worth of gilt;
And sakas alive, in minutes five
Dads Christmas gift is built.
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

Anuric cures Backache, Lumbago,
Rheumatism Send lOc. DIR. V. M. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. Y, for large trial package
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

Indigestion produces disa greeable and
sometimes alarming symptoms. WrightS
Indian Vegetable Pills stimulate the diges-
tive processes to function naturally. Adv
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

people twelve months out of the year,
and thLn go to work and get up the So
ciety for the Prevention of Prevention
Societies and limit the membership to
one hundred million Americans. Most
of us would join it."
(Copyright)
Middletown transcript., 1916-12-16

Pile fabrics are in favor for sep
arate coats.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
Greatest Report of
 Alaska Mines Known
All-Alaska Review This Month Has
 Detailed Story of Mining.

The greatest report ever made on Alaska mining is contained in the March issue of The All-Alaska Re view which is now on sale. This re- port was made by the Territorial min ing inspector, William Maloney, and contains a detailed account of all inn portant mining activities with de scriptions of the ore, manner of Operat ing and everything else. A list of all the fatal accidents in 1915 is also given. Very courteousiy Mir Maloney sent a copy of the report to the Re- view Part of the report giving the names of the operators of all the mines, placer and quartz, was left out this issue but will be in the April issue. Anyone who wishes to have easily the greatest work Of reference on Alaska mining ever published needs only to have and keep a copy of the issue of the Review now on sale.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04

radio stations in Alaska is confined to matters affecting the operations of United States vessels, and maintain ing communication with Government representatives stationed in that locality, the Navy Department has al- ways taken the broad view that every facility available to the Government in Alaska should be used in the de- velopment of both governmental and commercial activities in that region and in confomance with this view believes that although the military (navaU value of a radio station at Seward would not be great,-the in- terests of other Government depart ments and especially that connected with the construction of the Alaskan railroad, would warrant the erection of a station in the vicinity of Seward capable of communication at all times with the naval radio station at Cordova.
 "The estimated cost of the purchase of apparatus and erection of such a station at Seward which would, in the Departments opinion be capable or continuous communications with the Cordova radio station is, exclusive of purchase price of site, S45,OOO, if pow CT can be obtained from the city of Seward and the estimated would be, s5O,OOO.
 "I may add that if necessary funds can be obtained from Congress, this Department would be pleased to erect and operate the station.
 "very respectfully,
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
MILES AHEAD OF H
THREE HUNDRED AMERICAN
 TROOPS RETURN HOME SICK
VILLA UNHURT AND SAFE

FL PASO, April That Villa is not wounded at all and that he has reached Sateyo fifty miles south of Chihuahua City, and sixty miles ahead of all psuers IS the information secured here today from sources which have always given out the most reliable news The lnto maton is that he is accompanied only by eight of his most trusted men and that he is making towards PaaI where he has large numbers of smpathzes whom he probably expects to rise in his favor He arrived at Satevo two days ago so that he has most likely reached point further south or west since that time Satevo is about two hun dred miles from the nearest place on United States te tory and is nearly three hundred miles from this city, It is about midway between American territory and theI Pacific coast of Mexico but the worst of it is that it isl only fifty miles or so from the Tarahumare mountain ranges which he can now easily reach
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
GERMANS RAID ENGLAND AGAIN
 FOURTH NIGHT IN SUCCESSION

BERLIN, April 4-Forthe fourth time on successive nights Zeppelns again raded England last night and h.
 icted greater damage than ever, it officially an nonced by the admiralty today. In the raid last night the Zeppelins dropped bombs the Notifications at Great Yarmouth The southeast coast the chief ob ectve of the raid last night. Military declare that the German amen are now becoming acquainted better with the conditions and that the raids in consequence will be more effective from this time forward
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
Morning Vote Is
 Rather Heavy One
Sixty-Fiye Votes Had Been Cast at
 lO:SO This Morning.

Voters went to the polls this morn ing at an unusually early hour and sixty-fye votes were cast at lO:SO a. m. The board of election consisted of Mrs. W. T. Lucas, Miss Sylvia Sexton, A. B. Brown, Phil Hickey and l.. c. aBtes. For the benefit of those arriving on the Farragut the names of the candidates for the various of fees are reproduced herewith:
 For couucilmen; E. E. Chamberlain, Hugh Dougherty, John Dubreuil, J. l.. Graef, Gerhard Johnson, J. T. Harvey, c. NJ. Kerns, Reginald Kerr, Peter M. OgIe, John B. Slater, Will liam Nj. Sauers and Frank L. Torrey.
 For school board: M. A. Martin and Frank E. Youngs.
 For mayor: c. A. Myers, John Noon and c. W. Winstedt.
 For city clerk: Leon c. Booker, w.. T. Lucas and Otto IT. Poehlmann.
 For city treasurer: J. H. Romig. 
 For city attorney: Wm. D. Cop pernou, J. Lindley Green and O. J. Van Pelt.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
Militia Called Out
 to Suppress Crowd
Meeting About Granting State Aid to
 Sectarian Schools Causes It.

HAVERHILL, Mass. April 4. - A company of militia was called out by the mayor last night to assist the police in controlling a crowd of five thousand people which made a riotous demonstration in the vicinity of the city hall and broke many windows. The crowd had assembled as re- suit of an attempt to hold a meeting for the discussion of the question of granting state aid to sectarian schools.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
NO AMERICANS KILLED

FL PASO, April 4.-Four American soldiers who are part of the Mecan eXpedidonay forces have died as the result of illness or attacks by MeXicans Three hundred have been returned to Fort Bliss sick but none have been killed outright in battle Nothing further was heard this afternoon regarding the report that Villa had reached Satevo but the feeling strong that the bandit has given our forces the slip The report that he was not wounded creates the belief that he himself spread the port that he was wounded to hoodwnk the pursuers.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
Brings Arastres
 To Work Quartz One For Roman, James Mine and One For Chace and Whitney.

John Roman and Bennett James brought in two arastre outfits with them on the Farragut, one to operate the ore of their own mine, and the other to work the mine of Frank Chace and Frank Whitney at Grant Lake. The ore on the Moose Pass property of Messrs. James and Roman showed over six hundred dollars ton last fall when they used the arastre belonging to other parties. Neither Mir. James nor Mir. Roman wishes to say much about their nr- tentiOns but they admit they will be busy on Moose Pass this summer. The former apparently thinks the prospects most promising as he has decided to postpone a trip which he had intended to make to look over his extensive interests in the Iditarod.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
ALLIES WILL OPEN MAIL

WASHINGTON, April 4 - The Entente Allies through the British ambassador have forwarded to Lan sing joint reply to the protest of the United States gov enment against the seizure detention and censOrng of neutral mails and the allied governments declare in the reply that no legitimate letter mail has been conscated nor treaty rights violated but the Allies emphaticay sert the intention to continue to search parcel post pack ages for contraband concealed under postal folders
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
Eighty Three For
 Seward on Watson

SEATTLE, April 4.-The following are the passengers for Seward on the Admiral Watson which left Seattle last night:
 A. Johnson, D. V. vucetich, H.. Madden and wife, Mrs. H. Charter Mrs. F. Morrison, Mrs. ?. Flynn, C.. Harraden. O. Stone, R. Morrison, J. Stanton, Charles Skinner R. Chap man. F. Brown Otto Hutter, w. Wright. l.. Ganassiu, F. KindIing Carl Vandyke, George Reynolds, A. Levisher Andrew Qualby, F. Lyne5 F Kobe,ey, c. McLennan, R. Calvert T. Vim. J. Nevin, M Teare, A. Kiern, F. 1IcTaggert and fifty steerage.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
REFUSE TO RELEASE GERMANS

WASHINGTON, April 4.-That Great Britain will refuse to release the Germans taken off the American
 liner China the high is indicated by the remarks made by high officials of the British government following the protest entered by Secretary Lansing The American protest has only just been received by the British govern ment It informs the British foreign secretary that the proceeding against the men aboard the American liner was most high-handed
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
BRITISH FACTORY DESTROYED

LONDON, April At was officially announced today that two hundred persons were killed and injured by fire which occurred in powder factory in the county of Kent few days ago. It worth noting in this respect that the Germans announced that in the raid of last Friday night the Zeppens started fires with their bombs in several munitions factories near London Part of the city of London is Kent county and it is supposed that the Ger man account was correct although the facts not off, cially admitted by the home government
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
If Money Is Found
 We Get A Wireless
Secretary of Navy Is in Favor of
 Giving One to Seward.

That the secretary of the navy be- Geves Seward ought to have 8 radio station if the money can be obtained from congress is the statement by him in a letter to Delegate Wickersham, a letter which is enclosed in a letter received from Mr. Daniels this morn ing by Leon c. Booker, president of the Chamber of Commerce of Seward. Following are the communications from the secretary:
 March l5, 1916. "Nr Leon c. Booker, President, Seward Chamber of Commerce, Seward, Alaska.
 Sir
 q am in rsceip, of your letter of February l7th, last. relative to the establishment of a radio station on Resurrection Bay, and am inclosing. for your information, as indicative of this Departments views in the mat ter a copy of a letter addressed to the Honorable James Wickersham, M. C., on this same subject
 "Yery respectfully
 JOSEPH DANIELS"
 March 15, 1916. "The Honorable James Wickersham, House of Representatives, Washington, D. c.
 Sir
 q beg to acknowledge the receipt of your letter of March 2, 1916, relat- i've to the establishment of a radio station on Resurrection Bay, and have in addition just received a letter from the Chamber of Commerce of Seward, Alaska, concerning the same matter.
 "The Department can readily ap- preciate the necessity for having the terminal point of the Government railroad and the general headquarters of the railroad at Seward in constant communication with southeastern Al aska and outside points,-especially the United States military cable, it would appear very necessary that some form of reliable communication between these points be provided for. "While the general use Of the naval
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
Labor Commission
 Begins Hearings
Will be Rather Private as They Are
 Held in Small Hotel Room.

ANCHORAGE, April 4.-The labor Commission began its hearings this morning. They will be practically private as they are being held in a small room of the Crescent hotel where the Commission has established it's office quarters. The union held a meeting last night and President Sutherland rendered his resignation. c. H. Packard, a member of the Cook Inlet Pioneer mechanical force, was elected in his stead by exclamation.
The Seward gateway., 1916-04-04
e e * * |" * q: * q * % . * CITY MUST PAY {" * COST OF CASE |"

Judge S. o. Morford, counsel for the Alaska Northern received noti- fcation in this mornings mail that the court of appeals had reversed the decision of the local district court in the case of the Town of Seward vs. the Alaska Northern Railroad This was told before in the Gateway but the official notification to Judge Mor- ford contains the intelligence that the higher court instructs the District court to dismiss the proceedings and orders the city to pay the costs. These costs amount to about S200.