The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1916-09-25
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BALAAM.

II | w ia
"'Great,' says the ASS; what d'y
feed?'
Pork says Balaam.
me SAVIOR says the ASS.
$50 Balaam mounts. But soon tn
Jack balks.
"Phwat is it?' says BALKAN.
"'Snakes,' says the ASS; ut look
like the jawbone Nv me mother
"'G'wan,' says Balaam, hittin' tn
Ass clip, its me furren' policy
he says.
"Phwat's ut for?' axes the ASS.
cut definds the nashun,' says Ba
laam.
Howl says the ASS.
Faith says BALKAN, ut takes s
bigger ASS than you to know that
Lave 1t to Brine says BALKAN to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on medita
TIM.
"'Hee, haw,' says the ASS balkin
an kickin'.
"'What now? says Balaam.
"Divil Jackass ever seen the like,
says the ASS. ut could be frog,
says he, for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind; an it's mostly
mouth says the Ass. ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yalIer
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very Crooz Red, or Niagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.
says he. 'Hivins, have I been drink
in? screams the ASS to Balaanf.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
it's mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, in the
service Nv Mankind says BALKAN to
the Ass, touching him up. An the
Ass shuf1ies ahead, wavin' his ears in
admiration.
"'Hee-hawl Hee-hawr says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin.
"'Phwat's grippin' We now? says
Balaam, impashunt like.
"T dunno, says the Ass. ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialist Crew. he says.
"''Tis me Ship Bill says Balaam.
Side step to the, right he says;
side step to the left, says he, well
tim him. Back up says BALKAN,
near wrenchin' off the Jacks Jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
laam wild shower NV blows; an the
ASS goes on thremblin'.
'Wah-heel Wah-hee! Wah-heer
CHI IN,
threw his rider.
I'll learn We to shy at me Naval |
Bfll,' says Balaam, lar-rupin' the |
haste so he cud scarce stand.
eye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack In
coarse whisper.
'Ye ASS, says Balaam. Don't We
know that amy cloes is betther nor
G'wan,' says Balaam, in II
ones Nv thunder. So the poor haste
opes on, limpin' wild pain.
tive not time to tell We all the ad-
7entures they had, but they KEEP on
'ver rough roads, now an then eros
h. ditch on wan term plank.
Which made even BALKAN unaisy.
viry time the Jack kicked, he got
hort rations an wallop. So when
he journey was near over, the poor
aste was all In, and far too proud to
ght. Any Jack-Ass can be that
vhen he's licked.
IVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
alto harmony like Dimycrat Tariff
lynn played on gaspipe wild the
eet.
'Phwat ails We nowT calls BALKAN,
lubbin' him wild both hands,
'Nivver did l pass the like yells
he ASS, sweating and thremblin'. ut
avs ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwat
ut?' screams the ASS to Balaam.
,ebly Vaughn his ears.
az dinno phwat ut is meself,' says
alaam, but l know phwat uts got
alaam says.
"'Phwat? axes the poor ASS.
"'Five hundther thousand votes
lys Balaam, wild pious air. G'wan.
. big Ass, an doant We. argue wild
! Idaylist,' says BALKAN to the ASS
We can't pass ut in the dark,
eads the Ass. Lave us wait for
CHIT means the Ass, weepin'.
+" Nix says Balaam. There's a hot
ne comm an the votes'll spile.
D We thurst for sixteen more years
the wilderness? Giddap,' says he,
Irgin' yer heart says Balaam. Nv
Try thought that's selfish says Ba-
am, or personal chants BALKAN to
e poor ASS ticklin' the Jacks Stats
d a couplin' pin.
by this time the Ass was so wore
t wild his ardyous labors, that he
ew no more than BALKAN himself.
wild one despairin' cry, he dropped
ears, as he an his master stumbled
ward into the dark"