French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1916-1919, 1916-09-21
SO[lLOQUIFS OF THE
HON. SLUG SLAVlN
Candidate Hughes Has Been "Kiddin'
the Women Gays the Sage Of
SyOsset.

SYOSSet.
Chicago, Sept. 2O.-"Yuh sure gotta
hand it to Hughes" said the Honora-
Bile Sol Slick. of Syosset,today. eve
! lust been readin' where he says he's
in favor of givin' all tn wome votes
whether they wants 'em or not. He's
a wise guy, awright. Leave it tor him.
First he was tellin' tn Antf-Suffragists
that if there ever was any women that
! had good ems it Twas the women that
would just as soon keep out of politics
as out of Jail. an az far as ne was
concerned, they could bet on every
card in the deck. all tn way from
soda to hook, that he was with 'em,
an would stand by EN-. an they
needn't tear that he was goin' to let
tn sufragettes get him when he
wasn't lookin'.
"Fine for the Ants. Then tn next
thing we knows, along comes n Of
them there MormOns from out in Utah,
an he an Hughes has some telegrafir'
al III nSAI Lu4IS we hAOWPI 3
has thrown down tn Ants an says
seem as how women get along so well
out in Utah where tn Mormons run
things, I guess as how it's best for me
to favor haVin' tn Federal Govern
meRt decide that all women in all
- hereafter have to vote
j whether they wants TO or not.
$50 Hughes wishes it right on them.
Never mind he says, what I-told tn
Ants. That's past an gone; an be-
sides they amt got as many votes as
the Suffragettes has, AMIN out to
save my country an my honor an all
that, but / must first of all get votes
or what'll become of Villa an Car
! rama, an what'u there be eft for me-
to save, anyway?
Both Ends Against the Middle.
+ "Well, maybe Hughes knows what
be is doin' playin' both ends against
tn middle, tellin' one bunch of women
one thing an another bunch some
thing else. l amt a woman an SO l
don't know what good it will do him
to try an kid tn women along.
1--WE been on this little round-ball
Of earth for quite a period, an believe
me, l never yet seen tn man that
could trim a skirt. When any ordi-
nary human starts out to kid a bunch
of women. he's buyin' himself a ticket
to get in bad, but usually he don't
know it. 1t don't make no difference
how smart a guy is, there's a skirt
around somewhere that can show him
where to head in, an what's more, kin
head him in! An when a mere man
begins tellin' one bunch Of women one
thing, an then doublin' back an tellin'
tn other faction that he's just kiddin'
their sisters an really is for them. he
amt kiddin' nobody but himself an
he's got what tn poets would call d
rude awakenin' comm to him.
LAS far as I'm concerned, I'm for
givin' women votes wherever they
wants them. If a woman tells me she
wants anything Nv got, believe me,
I'm game enough to say: Madam, help
yourself | don't mind trouble but 1
amt haVin' any with women. There's
trouble an again there's trouble. /
once knew a gaZeeha named Kelly.
He married an thought he'd won a
home because his wife had a good job
in a laundry. SO Kelly thought he'd
won perpetual rest from work. He
figured that he was gOin' to sit around
Caulfeld's cigar store every day, an
play solo OF eUchre, an chew tn rag
an send tn kids up to tn big shops
for hundred pound anvils, an just have
q relluva time every day of his natural
life. An he thought Maggie was
a-goin' to stand for it. That's where
Kelly figured wrong.
Maggie had been brung up dif'rent.
She figured that Kelly was a-goin' to
be steady, cut out tn booze, beat tn
seven o'clock whistle every mornin',
an at tn end of tn week he was
a-comin' home with his pay envelope
an layin' it in her lap. There was
some heft 10 Maggie, believe me. Kel-
ly had notiin' on her in weight, size
Or punch. SO when they was married
an had taken a trolly ride all over
town OF their honeymoon, they went
TO tn place where Maggie had arrans-
ed to set UP housekeepin'. An twas
there that Kelly broke tn glad news
to herl
r. Wig Kelly Worked Hard.
II never knowed a mar to learn SO
much so 500 Is Kelly did. [ don't
know just what Maggie told him, OUT
it was enough, awright. Kelly works
as regular as any nan in tn shcDs.
It's true that ne didn't work tn first
week after he was married, but Of
course everybody za;d this was aw-
right as he was off Oh his honeymoon.
Il knowed thec4 was something
wrong about this guess for I'd seen
Maggie. about, sEiltC' an cherry IS
you please. goIH ~ 'rlm Mack's for
tn milk for tn mdgh; an down 10
Downey's for tn fnJi, an all sifir
things, like TIL decent iIttle house-
keeper she was. All ole mornin' she
toid me what she he'd tune to Kel..
when be told her ne expected n9r to
do all tn work an Heeo her job ; NJ
!sunH,- an, kcep him liza m~illiouair1,