El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-05-24
BY DOROTHY DIX.

GET great many sad letters II
which women pour out TO me sor
Il rowfuI secrets Of their hearts anC
ask advice on problems that only ON
niscent wisdom itself could solve, and
that are so far beyond my own poor
powers that 7 do not even dare to try
10 answer them
Of ali the pathetic letters that come
10 me, however. none are so pitiful as
those that deal with the question OF
the motherinlaw, because they always
reveal a useless tragedy and one that
is due only 10 jealousy and selfishness
and lack OF self control
Sometimes these letters are from
the daughterinlaw, sometimes from
the mOtherinlaw- often a young wife
writes that she is married To a good
man who loves her and whom she
loves that she has a beautiful home
and her life would be perfectly happy
except for the nasging OF her mother
inlsw.
The older woman lives in the house
with the younger one and criticizes
everything that the young wife does.
She calls the husbands attention TO
his wife's faults. She tells him that
his wife Is eXtravagant or a bad man
ager, or too fond Of amusement. and
in a thousand little ways she comes
the wife's life a martyrdom.
often the letter is the heartbroken
wall OF an old woman who tells of the
cruelty Of daughterinlaw who is 50
n an and selfish that she begrudges
her husband s mother a place under
her roof aid seat at her table The
old mother is made TO feel herself a
burden she is snubbed. thrust aside.
treated without honor or respect and
the wife uses her influence to weau
her husband from his own mother.
Hard TO Understand Attitude.
The most curious thing about the
1nlaw problem IS that these women.
who act ike Sends toward each other,
and who inflict on each other q tor
lure as ruthless as the InQuisition.
and sacrifice the man they both love
70 their malevOlent tempers. are not
the abandoned wretches one might sup
pose On the contrary, they are good.
Christian, church going women who
think q lot about doing their duty.
and are fun OF charity and loving
kindness TO everybody except their
inlaws-
know a family such as this. in
which both motherinlaw and daugher-
1nlaw are women of exceptional nobiI-
lty Of character; but they fell out over
a mere trifle and hate each other with
a ferocity that is appalling. Not long
ago, when 1 had listened for the
milliOnth time to the motherinlayy's
abuse OF her daughterinlaw, 1 said to
her
Well what are you trying TO do2
are you trying TO separate your son
from his wife by making these cease ]
less complaints to him. Do'y0u think
that he viii be happier parted from
his wife than with herr Do you think
that he VIII be better off II You break I
up his homer VIII these little chill
dren have finer chance in the worl6 !
If they are half orphaned. II their
father and mother are divorced 90
She looked at me in horror you
know she cried. that I think di-
Force Is sin and disgrace, and I
that I wouldn't break up my sons I
home for the world. or separate him /
from his wife would die first"
Then why are you trying 10 kill your 1
sons love for his wife by pointing out ]
her faults 10 him. and making trouble 4
between them by bearing tales to !
hinlz / demanded And she could not 4
answer
Undeniably it is hard for two women /
10 live together in peace. But there
are some things that the women so
placed might think upon with profit.
One IS that the woman whose son
supports and cherishes her in her old
aSe owes him enough gratitude to get I
a-5As At ledsU IN outward peace with !
ms wife She may not like her !
oaushterinlaw. but she can maintain
an attitude Of amiability toward her
ana not make her son miserable by I
SURFING up strife in his home
Happiness Depends Upon Wife and
Neither.
4ne cruN OF the whole matter is this.