The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-01-25

johnny " DIIcut lhUubLSI anu N1.S
devil here of hundred hairbreadth
escapes, Is at least in "darned tick
lish position" He is facing the Big
Escape in downtown hotel with pneu-
nonia. He is the man who started the
Spanish American war. He Is also
the man who made General Funston
from newspaper reporter into hui
man satling gun.
He got his picturesque sobrlqnet
from carrying sixty tons Of explosives
to Colon in '9S in the waist Of sea
going yacht. He lacks but two win
iers OF being eighty. He first met Fred
Funston on a flibustering trip to
Cnefueges.
"Funston is real man. says
OBrlen. 'rHe knows just when to dis
obey orders. Any one who doesn't
know that amt worth shucks; he's
good for nothing"
i O'Briens one desire is to see Funs-
ton before he meets the great foe.
1 Fine skating finds New York in the
Z grip Of a skating craze such as 1t has
not yielded to for years. The indoor
Kinks and private skating places are
packed to capacity. The reckless
skater has made his appearance and
threatens life and limb. Four skaters
we're taken from Central Park the first
day seriously injured by collisions
with the rowdies.
The police report that the beginners
are not content to keep their feet and
skate but must Immediately strike
into waltzes and double Fights. All
such make 1t more perilous for the
rest.
The first moonlight skating party
was given in Central Park by Nora
llayes, who has developed into skat-
ing star After the party broke up
they repaired to the Hotel Majestic
across the street from the lake where
new checking room for skaters has
been opened.
The New York Central has an
nounced that 1t will put mufflers on Its
locomotives, so that instead OF going
"choo-c hoo-chug" their gentle putting
will sound like the coughing OF the
wind among the barley. And the /.
road in Gotham, spurred to emulation,
has decided to make Its fiat wheels
sound like cathedral chimes across the
meadows at eventide.
If New Workers. live long enough
they will be happy yet. All that is
needed now is for the subway guards
TO quit slamming the doors, hat room
boys to quit snatching your hat like
IT belonged to them and department
store clerks to treat you like you were
part human beings.
Real marriage is mutual dedica-
ton Of men and women for evolution
OF character and soul and the dignity
of nobility Of parenthood. Some ami
mails have nobler conception of mar
riage than some human beings"
Such is the statement Of the Rev.
William Guthrie, preacher, play
wright, pastor Of st. Marks o-the-
BOuWeTle. Tic says thc iuNeh HbA
~ edifying moral code includes abso-
lutte monogamy and not the technical.
Mans does not.
Frank o'Brien tells Of an American
business man who was troubled with
galloping dependency which devel-
oped suicidal mania. He went to his
home on Riverside Drive one evening
and took poison but all he got was a
headache.
Then he locked his bedroom door
and turned on the gas, but the quarter
meter stopped before he obtained the
desired result. Next he tried to buy
ammunition for a revolver but found
that Europe had bought the entire
supply.
Not having any pull with the New
York City government, he could not