Arizona republican., 1916-07-23
LITTLE JAMES
(Conccrnlnq the Ever Present Men ace to Society. of the
 Half Wits"


 'T see in tn Republican" sez My Paw, at they's been a campane put Cn at Chicago to git Red of what's called tn onc-half t12) Wits. fokes which is a little more Nuttierin th' rest of tn Fokes This Campane had it's Start in a Outbrake by sCine Mig gros tn other day which got KeliJuS an wanted to go to HeVVin Quick and cuddent think of no shorter Ro0t'n goin out an Shootin' up their NauerS They showed Good JudS ment 20 fur i'll maxim their Plans fer. if they Didn't go to HeVin ther So!cs get Started somcWhercs. They aint in Chicago no more
 But tn People of Chicago which is Quiet, Orderly town don't like to have their Serenity Disturbed this away sos at they is agoin' to Re strane all tn rest of tn one-half 1 Ga) wits SOS at they won't be no more of these-here Bloody Relijus Uprisins. But all tn Crenx aint Re lijus Crank Some of ems Inventors 1 an some of 'em gifts Crazy from | other CoZzes.
 Its agoin to he pretty Hayd to ! lay down Line an say at all tn l F'okcs on wun side of it is one-half (1a) Wits an at all tn Fokes on th' other side is of Sound Mines. It de- bends d Good Deel too. on th' time of tn Year when you start out To . round up tn Crank They'S iots of l Fokes at l know rite here in FeeniX at is all Rite in th Winter time an tn Spring an Fall but which aint l Clothed with their Rite Mines in th' Midsummer Rite here Ill FeeniX, 1 Frinstance, I have a lot of F'rens wEich begins to Shed thei. Mentle ! Carmence about tn time they begin taIin off their COtes in Early sum mer But when tn Fleet is over they Peers to git All Rite again.
 Some of 'em gifts Nutty on wun thing, an some on anuther. Here s a Good illustrashun of tn Effecli of Hot Wethcr on Some People. Last Winter an Spring they was a Hole Lot of Democrats which seZ at Wilson's a Ded Coll in tn Pit an now in tn Fleet of summer they's Demo crats SO Fur Gone at they thinks he's agoin' to be 'Lected agin
 "I heerd ? Men under tn Infiooence of tn Fleet talkin' on tn Street tn other Day. Wun of 'em was Rejoic- in becos he thot at they's aSOin to be 1 Moar Yeers of Wilson an at Arizonay was goin' Democratic He sed at he'd had Divine Mess idgc 10 bet this Money on a Demo- crat Guvner but tn Messidge h. sed didn't Say whether il as agoin to he Hunt or Only. He sed, though at he expects to get anuther Reve Iashun on that Pint before tn Demo crat Primeries.
 That's Good. that's Fine sez tn Other Teller: I'm glad at you le me in on it an Iii make Cleen ul too on tn Democrat Victry. Now I'll let you into q Secret. I jist Per fecked Masheen which l beei Workin' on sos at l can send Mess idges to the Ded. sent saverl a'reddv to Departed Frens but I ain got no Replize yit; but they'lI Conn all rite
 Now. these here men looked Harmlcus an I don't hardly expec at they'll ever Git Vilent hut yol can't never tell fer shure When Feller's Branes begin to git TWiste, thataway. you cant never Cess wha kind of a Twist it's agoin to gi Next It's iist as I ible as not tt take a HommvsiddIe Turn. Tn onl, Safe way is at when YOU heer fel lers Talkin.' this kind of Wethel about strange Tnvenshuns or Noo Re 1iiilns or tn Democrats carryin' any thing next Fall is to Seggrvgate 'en amor" tn one half f1al Wits till tr Climbit gifts Cooler'-Little James.