davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
His Unsatisfied Yearn,

II have long desired to be sheriff
and capture blonde wood nymph
who in form and trimmings resembled
the Venus de Milo" confessed J.
Fuller Gloom. 1.-TWO obstacles have
prevented. couldn't be elected sher-
if If there was no other candidate in
the race against me, and there are
no blonde wood nymphs running loose
anywhere except in the imaginations
Of the correspondents. kansas City
Star,
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

placed IN. 10 nave
so much money
that her every
wish may be graf
flied is a doubt
full b l e 8 8 i n 6 t o
many a woman.
Many a wife Of
wealth does not
know what a hap
py me lif e
means.
The majority OF
rich women spend
their time as they
like and make no
complaint if their
husbands do like
wise. If he is sat-
isied to spen d
three or four eVe-
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

We are not responsible for the proper
running of all the world, or the be-
havior of all it's inhabitants. We have
only to do our own little part in it
fully and to the best of our ability,
and then cease to worry about the
rest.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
All Are on Time at Sydney.

At Sydney, Australia, any telephone
subscriber can now obtain correct
standard time by calling up the Sgd
ney observatory, says the Scientific
American. If he wishes merely to
check his watch or clock, he asks for
Time and is connected with an op-
orator who reads off the correct time
to the nearest half minute from a
clock controlled by the standard clock
Of the observatory. If more accurate
information be required, he asks for
Exact time," and is connected with
a high frequency buzzer which trans.
mits the actual beats of the observa.
tory clock.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Ditching PIoW.

hand is not so great as it is often
supposed to be, but many times there
are advantages in having the work
done quickly or in employing only a
few men instead of a large number.
The more expensive machines will be
profitable if the owners can keep them
busy large part of the time.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
HOW MRS. Bean
met The CRISIS
Carried Safely Through Change
of Life by Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.
Nashville, Tenn.-'FWhen was going
through the Change of Life I had tu-

lmor as large as a
|child's head. The
doctor said it was
three years coming
and gave me medi-
lcine for it until I
Twas called aw ay
from the city for
Is ON e time. Of
course l could not
go to him then, so
my sister-in-law told
me that she thoupht
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
A Few Smiles.
The Exception.

ability to make friends easily is
great help to a man who is running
for Office"
"That depends on the Office he's
after"
"YeS?"
"The presidential nomination seems
to fight shy of man who's a good
mixer"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Get Rid of the Flies.

Flies are a menace to health as well
as an extreme annoyance. They thrive
and propagate themselves in filth
Therefore, clean up every place about
the premises, especially manure piles,
that might furnish breeding spot.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
STORAGE In cato,s Day.

Storage of crops against favora.
BILE time for selling appears to be no
new idea. We find grain OF sound
advice in Cato's writings 1000 years
ago:
Let your buildings be proportioned
to your estate. 1t is fitting that the
farm buildings should be well con-
structed, that you should have ample
Of cellars and wine vats, and good
supply Of casks, so that you can wait
for high prices, something that will
rebound to your honor, your profit
and your self-respect."
Evidently the problem Of getting the
best prices was then, as now, d ques-
ton Of providing storage facilities, ei.
ther on the individual farm or for a
group Of farms, such as were included
In most Roman estates.-Country Gen
0eman.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

We seldom recognize the genius or
the prophet in our next-door neighbor
until someone from abroad comes and
labels him. Half our losses in life
come from being too far-sighted to
see what lies right at hand.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
KEEP HENS FREE FROM LICE
Vermin Steal Vitality That Food Gives
Little Chicks If Mother Hen
ls Infested.

Hens brooding chicks must be kept
free from vermin of all kinds or a part
Of the food fed to the youngsters will
be thrown away because the lice will
take the vitality that the food gives
the youngsters.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

What crop do you make the most
money out of up here?" asked the city
girl on her vacation. Summer board
ers," was the thoughtful reply of the
farmer.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Can Get Aliens Foot-East FREE

You Can Get Aliens Foot-East FREE
Write Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N.
Y, for a free sample of Aliens Foot
Ease. 1t cures sweating, hot, swollen,
aching feet. 1t makes new or tight
shoes easy. A certain cure for corns,
ingrowing nails and bunions. All
druggists sell it. 25c. Don't accept
anyesubstltute. (advt)
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Brilliant Success.

"Was the charity ball a success?'
Il should say so. The debutantes
had about ten thousand dollars worth
of fun and two hundred dollars was
raised for the poor"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
His Opinion.

"Do you think the average girl will
accept man as soon as he proposes?''
"As soon as he proposes? Great
Scott, man, she'll accept him as soon
as he begins to propose"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
"Money Back" Medicine.

Our readers never risk a cent when
they buy Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh
because every dealer in this liniment
is authorized to refund the money if
the Balsam is not satisfactory. Adv.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Appropriate.

What is the
name Of your
dog?"
" Macbeth
That's a curl
Gus name for a
dog"
"He howls a
great deal a t
night. I got the
idea from that
quotation Mac
beth does murder
Sleep"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

'You don't come in as frequently as
you used to, Mr.. Jiggs," remarked the
barber. NO. retorted his victim. "It
seems that it takes my face longer to
heal nowadays" Buffalo Express.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

A Swiss jeweler has made filagree
finger ring small enough to be passed
through the eye of fine needle. 1t is
understood that it will be used as a
crown by one of the Balkan kings.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Nothing More Laekino.

"Young man." said the elderly mil.
lionaire, my daughter has had every
luxury"
Every luxury but one, perhaps, and
that one am in a position to supply,
SIR"
What do you mean?"
"A husband"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

He-The town you live in is rather
arid socially, isn't it? She-Arid?
Well, l should say so. Why, the soil
there is so arid socially that you can't
even raise your eyebrows.-Vanity
Fair.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription
makes weak women strong, sick wo-
men well, no alcohol. Sold in tablets
or liquid.-Adv.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
A Real Friend.

A Real Friend.
Dodge volunteered to lend me
some money"
did you take it?'
mo. That sort of friendship is too
good to lose."
A Flight Every Day.
do you think Patrice will marry
that young aviator?"
"Can't say. However, she seems
much taken up with him."
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

For sprains and bruises apply Han
ford's Balsam thoroughly. Put it on,
and rub it in. Adv.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
There's never a heart, howe'er downcast.
However dreary and lone,
But hath some memory Of the past
To love and call it's own.

Not to know contentment is one Of
the saddest plights a woman can be
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

To quickly cool burns and take the
fire out use Hanford's Balsam. Adv.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
RouqhinQ II.

Those young women are evident
ly taking their military training seri-
ously."
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Sore s5s"s:s:ss e,:: 'ss:s:a fys!!s:: y !:E::
sure to Sun, Dust and Wind
Eyes ;i y: =: Sss! :: s. .:: ::

Your Druggists soc per Bottle. Murine Eye
SaIvein Tubes Csc. For Book of The yeFreeask
Druggists O. Murine Eye Remedy Co., ChiCaQo
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

Ambition is good sauce, but poor
food.
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
"No doubt of that"

"Why, there isn't a hair-dressing
parlor in thirty miles of their camp"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02
Painful Discovery.

give just been
studying one of
those tests to
prove whether or
not a person is
feeble-minded."
"YOu look dis
turbed."
"Why shouldn't
l be, when accord
ing to that chart
I've been a moron
all my life and
didn't know it?"
The Parker post., 1916-09-02

One remedy with many uses-Han
ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
Editorial Comment
on Current Subjects
THEY WANT A CHANGE
Brooklyn Standard Union.

bTOOhiyu othnudTu UNION.
A Democratic paper asks: do the
American people want change in
the present tariff law?" and then pro.
ceeds to answer its own question thus:
ASK a dozen well-assorted people,
and you will find that the majority
are In favor of taking the tariff ques.
ton out Of politics by way Of com.
petent non-partisan tariff commission"
The answer which the American
voters seem morally certain to make
to the above question will be that
they do want a change in the present
tariff law. The present tariff law is
an utter failure as a revenue pro-
Queer and It is a free trade law which
gives no protection to the American
producer be he a farmer, manufacturer
or artisan working for wages.
So far as taking the tariff out Of
politics by way OF a non.partisan tar.
III commission, the voters of the coun.
try will scarcely look to the Wilson
administration to accomplish that. be.
cause one Of the first performances
OF the Democratic Congress was the
abolition Of just such a commission
which was created by a Republican
Congress during President Taft,s ad-
ministration.
The American people not only want
a change In the present tariff, but
they want an entire change in the
present National administration, Pres.
ident, Senate and House of Represen.
tatives, to make sure that they will
get It.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
banks now taking place throushou,
the country, which must result IN 4

banks now taking place throughoui
the country, which must result IN Z
further weakening Of the federal re:
serve system. There must be rood
and sufficient reasons for these mum
erous conversions that are talinf
place, and there must also be reasons
why eligible state marks, except II
few isolated cases, are not Joining
The writer Of this letter IL o Demo
crat. his predecessor In the office Of
president was q Democrat, and -four
OF our nine directors are Democrats
which Is larger proportion than Il
usual in this overwhelming RepubH
can state. We give full credit 10 the
present Democratic administration for
placing the Federal Reserve law 81,
the statute books. and for the honest
and patriotic intention Of President
Wilson to make the system q sue.
cess. But We have no present infen.
ton Of joining the federal reseryf
system. nor Of converting into . m.
tfonal bank. and our principal reason
for deciding to remain outside and 81
continuing to operate as state bank
is John Shelton Williams, the present
Comptroller Of the Currency, frnm
whose authority we are now happily
and wholly free-and We intend d
remain So"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
GERMAN EFFICIENCY

From the Williamsport Sun.
II war has any redeeming feature
It is that 1t teaches economy to the
people who are engaged In conflict.
This, however, does not compensate
for the horrors attendant upon any
strife between nations. We have al.
ways looked to the Germans as mas.
tiers in thrift and economy, but we
have seen since the beginning of the
present European unheaval that these
people, too, have learned some added
lessons in eliminating waste, SO in.
tensive that we are inclined to believe
they have found a new meaning for
the word efficiency, Here, for exam.
pie, is a communication Of the German
war nutrition department to the pub.
lie:
"Ten cherry stones yield enough fat
for soap to wash ones hands and face;
one hundred cherry stones enough oil
for goodly portion OF salad. The
Red Cross and schools are gathering
well.washed and dried pits of peach.
es, apricots, plums and prunes. The
actual cash value of this nationwide
collection is turned over to charitable
purposes. Therefore collect your fruit
stones. Allow nothing to be wasted"
The Germans demonstrated Just
such thoroughness as this when they
we're prepared to swing their immense
armies into the field at almost a mo.
ment's notice. There is a lesson for
every country In this little bulletin OF
the war nutrition department. The
department OF commerce of our own
government has been endeavoring to
educate the people Of the United
States to appreciate the value OF waste
paper. Had the people undertaken
this intensive campaign to conserve
paper years ago. the famine now
threatening would have been unheard
OF. Paper, however. is only one OF
many commodities to which we might
apply some such plan Of conservation.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01

his hired girls beau into the gutter,
only healthy children may attend
school,"
This 1. p. has US so badly scared
we're afraid to let our dog play with
the children.
And as far as flockins to the picture
shows-ugh!
Some one ought 10 wish an eight.
hour day on both sides in the Lin.
coin district squabble.
Now we hear that when the strike
is called in this city we can 60 hun.
cry and suffer-but no more than the
railroad men will have to.
Consolidation in the form Of a brick
with concrete wrapper on It.
Scotch poetry, had we the say,
would now be the Scotch in the trench.
es.
Monongalia Musings asks whether
these Beauty Hint Editors ever do
the world any good.
The one in our office has never done
1t any harm for the reason that no one
reads the dope.
Any body with an auto capable OF
80 miles an hour who wishes to enter
1t Labor day may drive 1t to this OF.
flee. and deliver It to US.
Ninety miles an hour would take
us to the Point and back in 40 min.
utes.
Or 40 pieces.
It's getting so these nights that
blankets are really worth while hay.
ing around the domicile.
Our old memory tank gets a smile
out Of us once In while when It takes
US back to the auto races Of last year
when stripped Heunery took the
money over other autos.
Though It came up painting 1t won
by half a mile.
When Fairmont food gets shy dur.
ing the strike, we'll eat real food.
Hanging by the thumbs for the guys
who raised flour and other stuff think.
ing people would store up anticipat-
ing strike would be pleasant sight.
By the neck would be good but not
to look at.
A Kingmont man was Jailed for
shaking girl. II the ladies were
Jailed for everytime they shook men
the "out.of-jails" would be heaven.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
NEW YORK LETTER
(From our Regular Correspondent,

(From our Regular Corresplondent)
A N increase Of five hundred mil.
~ lions Of imports and decrease
OF one hundred millions of Gus.
toms revenue is the reason why this
administration is compelled to i'm
pose numerous special taxes design.
ed to raise $2O5, 100000, besides sell.
ing bonds for $130,000,000 and incurr.
Ing Indebtedness which undoubtedly
will necessitate far greater bond
sales. In word, the Underwood
tariff bill as complete failure as a rev.
enue producer. Many inquiries as to
the necessity for these special taxes,
whether they are solely the result
Of Democratic extravaganza, or wheth.
er they are caused by the preparedness
program, have reached your CORES.
pendent. The simple, fundamental fact
Is as stated. While Democratic ar.
travagance has doubtless played an i'm.
portant part, and while the prepared
ness program may be held to account
for a part Of the need, the tariff sta
tistics issued by the Treasury de.
partment really tell the story. Con.
trary to q popular impression the
European war has not decreased i'm.
ports. On the contrary. As compar.
ed with the fiscal year ending June
30, 1913, when the Payne tariff bill
was In effect) the imports for the fis.
cal year ending June 80. 1916, show an
increase of $544.620,000; but the tar.
III revenue collected thereon shows q
decrease, as compared with that col.
lectel in 1912, Of $99,391. 900. Obvious.
ly, with tariff bill which falls 90 far
short Of even the Democratic IDEAL.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
WHERE ROOSEVELT STANDS.

Up to last night mos, of the heavy artillery used IN
~ the campaign il Maine where the state election is
just 10 days away was employed on the Democratic
side. But Theodore Roosevelt spoke at Lewiston ls.s
reyeberate throughout the country right down to the night
Of the general election.
In the very first sentence of his speech Mr. Roosevelt
told jsst where he stands in this campaign He said: Il
come here 10 Maine to advocate the election Of Charles
E. Hughes as president Of the United States, and the
election Of Senate and House Of Representatives to sup
port him. ! make no merely partisan appeal. ask the
support Of all good citizens for cause ask the sup
port Of all good Americans" That is even more
straightforward appeal to hi: fellow Pogressives than he
made in his memorable letter declining the nomination ten
dered by the Chicago Progressive convention and announc-
ing that he intended to support the Republican nominee
Charles E. Hughes.
The body of the speech was scathng anaignment of
the failure of the Wilson administration in its management
of International affairs and the policy of drift which has
been followed with regard to the national defenses.
And after going into these shortcomings in detail. back
ing up his statements with facts and figures, Mr. Roosevelt
concluded with this Straightforward appeal:
at is just that this nation should concern
itself with its rights; but it is even more nee
essary that 1t should concern itself with its
duties. AS between Mr.. Hughes and Mr.. VIII
son. who can doubt which is the who will
with austere courage stand for the national
duty? Mr.. Wilson's words have contradicted
one another; and all his words have been con-
tradicted by his acts. Mr.. Wilson's promise
has not borne the slightest reference to his
performance. We have against him in Mr..
Hughes man whose public life is a guaran-
tee that whatever he says he will make good,
and that all his words will be borne out by
his deeds. Against Mr.. Wilson's combination
of grace in elocution with futillty in action;
against this record Of words unbacked by deeds
or betrayed by deeds, set Mr.. Hughes rug
ged and incorporating straightforwardness
OF character and action in every office he has
held. We put the man who thinks and speaks
directly. and whose words have always been
made good. against the whose adrot and
facile elocution is used to conceal his plans or
his want Of plans. The next four years may
well be years of tremendous national strain
Which Of the two men do you, the American
people. wish at the helm during these four
years; the man who has been actually tried
and found wanting, or the man whose whole
career in public office is guarantee of his
power and good faith? But one answer is po,-
sble; and 1t must be given by the American
people through the election of Charles Evans
Hughes as president OF the United States"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
Tho Federal Reserve Act.

It is generally remarked that all
the credit which this administration
might have derived from the enact
ment Of the Federal Reserve Act has
been destroyed by the appointment Of
John Shelton Williams, who has made
the most thoroughly unfit Comptroller
Of the Currency in the history of the
National Bank act. A striking COM
mentary on Williams Is found in a
letter addressed to him by ]. J. Ear.
ley, president Of the Bank Of Valley
City. N. D. Mr.. Farley says, in part:
1.-THE bank of which I am president
Is one Of the few state banks in North
Dakota with sufficient capital to be
eligible under the law for admission
into the Federal Reserve system. In
banking capitol, less investment In
real estate, It is in third place among
the more than $50 banks now
operating under our state law. The
officers and directors Of the Federal
Reserve bank Of the 9th district have
repeatedly invited and urged us to
join and have frequently asked our
objections to Joining. We are fully
conscious Of the great benefits to
trade. industry and investment, as we'll
as the business Of banking specifically,
that are possible as a result Of the
federal reserve system, II administer.
ed wisely and kept free Of personal
and political influences, and we would
gladly pay our pro rata share Of the
expense Of maintaining the system.
which is now being borne by the ma
tional banks exclusively. We are con.
scious, too, as all must be, including
yourself, that the reserve bank system
will not reach It's full measure Of
usefulness while more than three.
fourths the country banks remain out.
side, and We look with misgivings, as
you must, on the numerous CONVEX
sions OF national banks into state
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
!; WHERE THE PUBLIC COMES IN.

ppk the public long time to make up its mind that
~ there was actual danger of strike on the railroads
& Npw that walkout is possible within few hours
he seypuness Of the situation is beginning to be appre
Slated. When the strike comes. if it does come the rail-
rad maaage, the Brotherhood leaders and the Govern.
ent at Washington apt to be witnesses of demon
szahen Of public wrath the like of which has SELDOM if
.eyeg, ben seen in this country
ewsd from the stand point of the 100000 900 people
live h the United States teup Of the transportation
ssltms would be high handed outrage From the start
has been evidence which warranted the suspicion that
both ihe roads and the men would welcome an open
BECAUSE both feel is the stronger Neither side
entirely sincere in its proestaons that it has had
interest in view along with its own On that
me ~ maaagen to certain extent have succeeded in
eepipg their own counsel. What part the public has
pyed q he calculations of the Brotherhood was frankly
ated hy a. B. Ganetson, of the Conductors who told
Senate Interstate Commerce committee that 1t is die
OF labor organizations that differences between en-
pg and employees should not be settled by legislation,
hut ntha between themselves"
bnf was good enough doctrine during industrialism's
dirk ages Society takes better care of itself now It has
that invariably it pays for industrial warfare and
longer is content be helpless bystander when
capital and labor fly each others hroats If this strike
the public will see to that trains are run 50 that
people in the cities may have food and the manufac-
establishments may operate. This will be insisted
non sven if necessary to smash all the railway labor
saRzsiep, and throw every railway system in the land
int The hands OF receivers appointed by federal courts
Necessity Is stern law and the public is not going 10
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-09-01
SHORT AND SNAPPY.

Vox pop wants to know what affect general railroad
strike would have President Wilson's sngle-track
mind" It would depend somewhat on his terminal
facilites.-Clarksburg Telegram.
@
President Wilson tells the railroads that If they don't
accept his proposal general strike will with
preparedness. Possibly So but then a surrender Of
the principle OF arbitration about the worst sort
preparedness.-West Virginia News.
The Pennsylvania health department expresses dis
approval Of the practice of sending goods homes on
approval So do the storekeepers, IL the truth were
told-Bluefeld Telegraph.
new anglers magazine says it will print no fiction
This ruling will shy off all real fishermen from its list
Of Observation-Disclosures Evening Genius
VIII the war prove any lucker now that the number
OF countries engaged has been increased thirteen
to Observation-Disclosures Mail.
After we get through with the proposed railroad
strike the country may be induced to give intense
thought to the question raging in western newspaper
Should Twins Be Dressed Alike?"-Parkersburg News
These chesy Wheelingites Just don't know when they
are licked. They still claim title to being the First
Gity"-Huntngton Advertiser.