El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-29
Great Britain Rights Reserved.

It's on tn top SHELF SAYS ne.
"Ye retired to a votn' booth, an struggled mo
tn dhrapery. Win re come out Nose grabbed the
back iv tn coat with both hands. an he, It's
perfect ht in 'front.' Thin he took fist full iv tn
front, an says, 'Mazzeltof, It's varnish pic
ture, that's what it is, Thin he stepped out few
feet an give CRY Of delight. key. says he, come
down here an look at a pair iy pants he says.
Misther Hinnissy' he says. If ye didn't have thin
on I wudden't let We take thin out " tn place, he
says. Such pants shud not be worm They ought
to be in tn winder. They're show pants. II was
a rich man. he says. I'd give ye two dollars day
to stand in front " tn store, he says. And he
takes ye'er money and pushes We out, an turns to
key and says Colt sci dsnk. niver thought we'd
get rid iv that burlap befure tn DECEMBER fire. An
re out in tn piiless light " day an it seems
to ye that all eyes are turned re. but they amt
Ye wondher if ye look ike rainbow an hope no
body will take ye Fl an actor. So havin' blinded
two blocks " hurryin' people with ye'er radyanee
We find ye'er way here to git my opinyon. Pn give
it 10 We It's wan iv tn worst suits " clothes iver
see in all me life. but wan " n best liver knew
ye to wear.
I'VE laugh at the ladies fr tn attintion they pay
to their clothes but I tell ye boy, tn ARE
just vain, on'y they amt so brave about It. No
lady who was lady wud II anybody said she
thought too much about dhress but a man wud fight
woman thinks about the other women's clothes an
a man ony thinks " his own. No man liver knows
whether another man is welldhressed not. He's
too conceited. He's thinkin' about his own uphols
terry. But he thinks hard about that Why, sir, re
wuddent believe it. but tn papers say there ARE
men IN New York who keep three four suits az
a time an they'll set fr half an hour in tn mornin'
pondherin' whether they'll put on tn dark brown or
tn dark blue. An havin decided this they go down
10 tn bank an dale with tn lighter subjects ~ tn
day.
Its tn same way all over tn world III bet "
that in Sarvya.a at this minyft dashn' fellow is
wondherin' whether tn bandages he wears on his
feet in place iv shoes looks dhressy an in Green
land Eskymo jood wakes up afther sound sleep
Nv six months at quarther to April an says to his
good woman who is standin' be tn stove in pair
" sealskin overans, Dear, these clothes iv mine
ARE comm apart I think III go down to tn ice
foe an kill a new suit,' Ye might shoot pair Of
pantaloons fr me while we're there says she. Ys
can have me old vans made over says tn afec-
tionate husband
"Ye say men not vain about clothesl Did re
liver see fellow buyin two-dollar pair " shoes7
spose If there's wan objeck undher tn skies that's
iv less Interest to tn vurrud thin tn King " Eng
land, it's tn foot " man. Two feet Is tvict as
uninthrestin. I don't think that in all me life I
liver noticed whether had feet onless, poor
fellow. he had none Did ye liver hear annywan say
about man. He has beautiful feetT or Notice tn
curve in Mixes instep? Did ye liver see ladies'
standin' on a corner an admirin' tn ankles iv tn
gintlemen as they "Trip home firm wurrek? But
look at tn fellow that goes in buy brogans, Why
me boy he takes much pains in pickin' out wrap
pers Fl these here locomobiles as though he was
mother selectin' pink wooden shoes fr her drst-