davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28

The man struck match to see if the gas
oline tank was empty.
1t wasn't .-Cincinnat Enquirer.
The man speeded up to see if he could
mt beat the train to the crossing.
He couldn 't-Columbia State.
The man set the alarm clock to see if he
couldn't beat his wife to his trouser poe
kets.
He didn' t-Sprin gfeld (Mass) Union.
The man looked down the barrel of his
gun and pulled the trigger to see if it was
empty.
It wasn't. Charlotte News.
The man asked the girl to marry him to
see if she was engaged.
She wasn't NASHVILLE Banner.
The man blew out the gas to see if the
asphyXiation tales were jokes.
They were not.-Memphis CONNER
cial Appeal.
The man on third with two down and
our heaviest swatter at the bat, tried to see
if he could steal home.
He could not.-Stillwater Mirror.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Gar of Russia is Richest Man

Not Rockefeller, Morgan, Rothschild,
nor Krupp!-The richest man in the world
is mere multimillionaire, whose wealth
can't be estimated by the income tax ex-
perts. He is the Gar of Russia, and no
man living knows his wealth. His income
is said to be million or so day, so that
one could roughly work out capital of
something like to ten or thirty billions as,
the sum of his possessions, but after all it is
only guess-work, The Dayton Daily News
explains something of the sources of this
vast property:
GAS head of the church, he owns all the
church property of the realm, amounting
to billions. But that can be left out of the
consideration. He owns in his own name
a hundred and fifty million acres of land,
and upon this land are the most magnificent
timber, the most colossal mines, and agri-
cultural lands enough to furnish food for
a station of people. The State, or Govern
ment, pays him a salary of ten million
dollars year; and if he wanted more, all
he would have to do would be to sign an
order demanding it, since he is the State
himself in sense.
"The Gar pays his own expenses. That
is, he maintains his own palaces and royal
residences, some one hundred in number,
and takes care of the cost of the households
of all the royal personages of the nation.
This involves some thirty thousand servants,
three hundred automobiles, five thousand
horses, and small army of soldiers and
secret service men. So it is necessary that
he have considerable income.
"All of the mines of Siberia are owned
by the Gar personally. He gets a royalty
upon every ounce of mineral that is
mined. The agricultural lands are rented,
and the forests are being worked up into
timber, which must be accounted for. So
no matter how the war terminates,
unless Germany is able to overrun Russia
and take the entire country, the Gar isn't
likely to suffer from the heat in the sum-
mer or the cold in the winter. FIX.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Good Philosophy in Verse

l may not reach the heights l seek
My untried strength may fail me;
Or, halfway up the mountain peak,
Fierce tempests may assail me,
But though that place never gain,
Herein lies comfort for my pain
l will be worthy of it.
l may not triumph in success,
Despite my earnest labor;
l may not grasp results that bless
The efforts of my neighbor.
But though my goal never see,
This thought will always dwell with me
will be worthy of it.
The golden glory of loves light
May never fall upon my way;
My path may always lead through night,
Like some deserted byway;
But though life's dearest JOY miss,
There lies nameless JOY in this
will be worthy of it.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Hurry

The first great lesson in the Bible story of
creation is the need of rest. The Creator
set aside one day in seven for rest. Nature
herself takes long periods of rest. Man
alone spoils his life by hurry.
Some Americans have the hurry habit so
ingrained in their nature that nearly every
thing they do is spoiled. They cannot even
take their pleasures leisurely. 1t is Away S
rush to do something or to get somewhere
A noted admiral in the Japanese navy
was being entertained by New Yorker a
few years ago. One day the admiral was
about to board local train on the subway
when his friend said: ''Don't take that
train, admiral, it is local. We can save
four minutes by taking an express
eyes. but what will you do with the
four minutes which you shall savee''
Time is the most precious thing in life,
and there is no excuse for wasting it, but
the mad American rush to save minute
destroys more nervous energy than can be
lSSdluSu III mdIly minutes. IL keeps BODY
and mind in state of nervous tension that
is destructive to health and work. Some of
US do not seem to know how to relax.
l often watch people going into the city
on morning trains and cars whose facial
expression shows that their muscles and
brain are on strain. Long before they get
to their destination, they begin to move I'M
easily in their seat, all ready to jump, lest
they lose second, or they will get up and
stand in the aisle several minutes before the
train stops.
Now, chronic sense of hurry not only
interferes with the due performance of work
but it reacts on the person who has it and
Injuries the nervous system. The wisdom
of ages has been concentrated in the proverb:
1.-The more hurry the less speed
'Nature never hurries: atom by atom,
little by little, she achieves her work. The
Castle.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
NJ R R 0 R ETTES
By Uncle John

Mass was held in the Auditorium last
Sunday morning, Father Barry officiating.
-Four cars of white sand were received
tn the yard to be used for making cores
tor the foundry.
Enough, is not long word, but it is
very seldom that you find man who never
heard of it.
The trouble with being easy-going and
good-natured is, that people get the idea
that they can use you for door, Elk.
"A crew of painters were busy in the
Auditorium last Saturday touching up the
walls and painting the doors and they did
a neat job.
There are a good many men in this
old world of ours who don't care snap
what happens to others as long as it doesn
happen to themselves.
Il don't care snap how bad man may
look, if he has a smile for a baby, good
word for child or pat for dog head,
he is NOT bad fellow.
"A good many fans came along to see
the Mpls. team trim the M. S. P. baseball
squad, but they were sorely disappointed
as was proved by the score.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Effect of the War on Horses

Writing from northern France on the
extraordinary intelligence and vigor of the
wonderful horses in the war, w. Beach
Thomas thus gives his impressions in the
Daily Mail:
If war has no other virtue, it dement's the
friendship OF men and horses.
Many of these animals know with mathe-
NAUTICAL exactness the proper interval of one
gun from another. To swing the gun round
at the due distance is now ingrained as an
instinct and performed with the regularity
of ploughing horse when he turns at the
headland of the field. If the driver, less
sklltul or wise in the art, attempts to bring
one gun too near its neighbor, the horse
| takes the matter into his own hands with
an O1ympian disregard of bit or whip.
They will not disobey the regulation for
anyone.
The whole organization of the daily life
of the horses is singularly human. The old
idea that wounded horse is as good as
dead horse is quite finally exploded. They
recover both health and-may one say?-
moral very readily. Some of the old stagers
are almost as capable of telling the ''vets."
where to probe as of ins:ructing young gun
| ners in the geometrics of gun emplacement.
OF course most breakages are beyond reme-
dy, but the cures among horses operated
upon almost on the field of battle are amaz
ing. However, the greatest admirer of the
horse must confess to our failing which is
not cured by experience in battle. The
horse does not stand pain we'll. A great
proportion of both cavalry and ar tilery
horses have learned to endure she'll fire
scorntully and without wincing. The pick
of those wise old horses are not more effected
by the explosion of ''Jack Johnson in
thunder of their own guns which they know
to be controlled by their own gunners.
But the horse, especially the better-bred
animal, is after all more highly strung than
any domestic and most wild animals. There
are things he cannot endure with patience.
When he is struck by bullet or shrapnel or
shell the unseen injury usually fills him
with nameless terror, and his restraint is
apt to vanish into sheer panic. Of course
horse differs from horse as man from man.
Some are brave like the Turcos, if only they
may move quickly. Others have the courage
of ''cold blood, and will scarcely cock an
ear at neghbor detonation which may be
heard twenty miles off. But in bulk the
horse that has lived through the terrors of
the retreat and covered without failing the
northern journey have learned war only less
intelligently than their masters They are
old campaigners, who increase in physical
fitness with the march of hardships, and are
not to be inundated by common things.
Dumb Animals.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
S M LIES

-Butcher-"Ow is my daugh liter gettin'
on with 'er moosc, professor
Professor We'll, I'm only teaching her
the scales at present.
Butcher ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 'er the
scales! l don't want 'er know nothing
about the scales. She amt goin' to serve
in the shop. mean 'er to be lady. Teach
ef the panner, or I'll take 'er away from
yer
BOBBY" said the lady in the street.
car severely, "why don't you get up and
give your seat to your father; doesn t it pain
you to see him reaching for the strap?'
"Not in the street-car,' replied Bobby
cheerily, "but it does at home. New
York Railways Employees Magazine.
Murphy approached the house of Mrs.
Malone with troubled look. He was the
bearer of bad news and was feeling very
miserable.
He went around to the back of the house
and found Mrs. Malone at the washtub.
"Mrs. Malone" said he, 81 have an
unfortunate thing to tell you.
"And what may that be, Mr.. Murphy?'
"Your good man, Mrs, Malone, has
met with an accident
"An accidentf What kind OF an acct
dent2''
"Mls Malone, he was overcome by the
heat at the foundry this morning
"And is he getting over t?''
"Well, ma am, shouldn't think so. He
fell into the furnace!'
Pat was working with his coat off in a
store in England with two Englishmen who
decided to have their little joke. They
painted a donkey's head on the back of
Pats coat, and watched to see him put it
on Pat, of course, saw the donkey's head
on his coat, and turning to the Englishmen,
said: (Which of ye wiped your face on me
coat?'
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
G LIE A n ! N 6 s
From Our Exchanges

1T isn't sign of narrow mindedness to
mind your own business
When men have more money than they
need they think they need more than they
have.
If an honest man is the noblest work of
God, i, might be we'll to keep an eye on
the self made man.
Some nervous people with few dollars
and no brains take exercise by making a
run on the bank.
"A man has truly reached the limit of
perfection who fully deserves the good opin-
ion he has of himself.
"A government bond draws less interest
then pawn ticket, but it is more profitable
to most men.
No man ever had to stop climbing the
ladder of fame because there WASH another
rung above him.
Nothing smells cleaner and cooler then
feed store about clock in the afternoon
of hot, quiet June day.
When man offers you something for
nothing, don't accept it unless you cap
afford to pay double what it is worth.
Every time nan says something
complimentary to his wife it removes one
more Nrin K lie from her laroxu
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
A Creed

| hold that when person dies
His soul returns again to earth;
Arrayed in some new hesh-disguise
Another mother gives MIN birth.
With sturdier limbs and brighter brain
The old soul takes the road again.
Such is my own belief and trust;
This hand, this hand that holds the pen,
Has many hundred times been dust
And turned, as dust to dust again;
These eyes of mine have blinked and shone
In Thebes, in Troy, in Babylon.
All that / rightly think or do,
Or make, or spoil, or bless, or blast,
Is curse or blessing Justly due
For soth or effort in the past.
My life's statement of the sum
Of vice INDUCED, or overcome.
l know that in my lives to be
My sorry heart will ache and burn,
And worship, unavailingly,
The woman whom l used to spurn,
And shake to see another have
The love spurned, the love she gave.
And shall know, in angry words
In gibes and mocks, and many tear,
A carrion flock of homing- birds,
The gibeS and scorns l uttered here.
The brave word that failed to speak
Will brand me bastard on the cheek.
And as wander on the roads
l shall be helped and healed and blessed;
Dear words shall cheer and be as goads
To urge to heights before unguessed.
MY road shall be the road | made;
All that gave shall be repaid.
So shall fight, so shall tread,
In this long war beneath the stars;
So shall glory wreathe my head,
So shall faint and show the scars,
Until this case, this cloggng mold,
Be smithied all to kingly gold.
John Maseheld.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28

-"When a man sizes up his r,eck of
trouble, he has no reason whatever to holler
about short measure, and vet can be thank
full that it is not bushel.''
The band boys paid the hospital visit
last Thursday and gave concert to the
inmates which was very much enjoyed by
all. Music is the key to the soul!
"A big lot of books were received for
the library and some more to follow. These
new books will be in the new catalogue
which will soon be placed at your disposal.
Our baseball boys demonstrated once
more last Saturday that they can play ball
and the Mpls. pitcher had all respect for
our batters, he gave every one chance to
hit the pill, and they sure did hit it.
The foreman of shop L with a crew of
tinsmiths were very busy last Saturday
erecting on the visitors gallery sheet-ron
enclosure for the moving picture machine.
This is for protection in ease of fire and is
according 10 law.
eff you want to make other people
happy, just start in right now and mind
business alone and you will succeed where
otherwise you will fail, even with the best
of intention
School opened last Monday night with
an attendance of nearly 100. This is as it
should be. Just make up your mind to learn
and you will succeed. You will be gladly
assisted by the teachers, providing you are
willing to learn and show your good will.
The people who change their mind
eldom mind the change.
The man with bee in his bonnet fire.
quently talks through his hat.
Telling man where he can 60 doesn't
always assure his getting there.
Well work twice as hard to please a
customer as we will to win a new one.
Many men are thinking to-day of
things that will seem very wonderful to-
morrow and very commonplace in ten years
Spring your ideas while they are fresh.
We are usually willing to admit that
we make mistakes, but we don't call the
mistakes of other people by so euphonious
a name.
The brightest people are those who sell
dom get lit.
Spite work draws poorer pay than all
other forms of labor.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Things Most Worth While

What is the most proftable? Fellow
ship with the good.
What is the worst thing in the world;
The society of evil men,
What is the greatest lossa Failure in
ones duty.
What is the greatest peace? In truth
and righteousness.
Who is the hero? The man who
subdueS his senses.
Who is the best beloved? The faith
full wife.
What is wealth. knowledge.
What is the most perfect happiness?
Staying at home. -Bhartrihari.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Elk c ~ AN E POEM 8
The Road'll Turn Some Day

l know the road is rocky
And the hills are hard to climb;
l know the feet get bruised and sore,
And it takes heaps O. time.
know the burdens heavy
Oh, you needn't tempt to say;
But just keep a-ploddin' onward
For the road II turn some day.
l know that homesick feeling
And the ache you bear alone;
know your heart is breaking
BY the bravely stihed moan.
| know the arm you leaned upon
Has now no power to stay;
But just keep a-poddin' onward
For the road II turn some day.
l know the structures you have hewn
Of youths day-dreams lie low,
| know you see their ruins stare
Everywhere you go.
| know the sunbeams round the path
Long since have ceased to play;
But just keep a-poddin' onward
For the road II turn some day!
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
A Perfect Man

There is man who never drinks,
Nor smokes, nor chewS. nor swears;
Who never CANDLES, never AirtS
And shunS all sinful snares-
He's paralyzed
There is man who never does
A thing that is not right,
His wife can tell just where he is
At morning, noon and night
He's dead
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
A NOTICE TO INMATES

You are hereby directed to place
your copy of THE MIRROR at the
foot of your bed on the morning
following the day on which it is
delivered to your cell. Non-com-
pliance with this order will cause
forfeiture of privileges.
j. j. Sullivan,
Deputy Warden.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28

Probably the majority of men would
be lazy were it not for the fact that they
must either get busy or die of starvation.
If things keep agoing the way they are
it won't be long before they'll be selling
US icecream in fancy packages.
About the most attractive spot on earth
is spot cash.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Breathing

The following is boys composition on
breathing.
Breath is made of air. We breathe wit III
our lungs. our lights, our liver and our kid
neys. If it WASH for our breath, we would
die when we slept.
Our breath keeps the life a. going through
our nose when we are asleep.
Boys that stay in the room all day should
not breathe. They should wait until they
get out of doors. Boys in a room make
Dad, unwholesome air. They make car
homicide. Carbonicide is poisoner than mad
dogs. A heap of soldiers was in black
hole in India, and a carbonicide got in that
there hole and nearly killed every one afore
morning. Girls kill the breath with corsets
that squeeze the diagram, Girls can't hol-
Ter or run like boys, because their diagram
is squeezed too much. If l was a girl
had rather be boy, and have great big
diagram Unidentihed.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28

Selected

Memories Dreams
| dreamed dear heart it was of Thee
AS lay on my cot last night,
A beautiful vision came to me
Like sunshine's golden light;
| saw you dear as in days of yore
When happiness was ours
We were out upon the farm once more
Among the fields and flowers;
l saw you beyond the grassy knoll
The gently flowing, cooling stream
Where we so often loved to stroll,
Deaf heart l saw this in my dream;
| would l had the pen to write
Of the unalloyed pleasure,
Our happiness of yester-night
In sweet memory shall treasure.
Your kiss awoke me, you were gone
would l knew which plying star
Points where Gods blessings are
That lie beyond the dawn.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
Inmates Attention 4!

All inmates who buy or have
sent in to them socks, underwear,
nightshirts, bath towels, handker-
chiefs, etc., should send them to
the laundry and have your number
marked on them before using.
Write your name, register numoer
and cell number on slip of paper,
attach to articles and give to cell
hall captain.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28

As long as there is thin ice, there will
be somebody to skate on it.
"A sheer is about the only thing that
looks worse on face than long beard.
There arc not only two sides to an
argument, but both of them ar e likely to
be wrong.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28
We Are One Of Them

Consider nov the hot and sweating bloke
Who kicks about the heat the live-long day.
And pauses every now and then to smoke
A cigaret to keep the heat away.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1916-09-28

"A thing OF duty is job forever.
Better direct opinion than defy it.
Life is one grand sweet song, but too
many of us sing it off the key.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1916-10-11
VILLA BANDITS
DEFEAT DilEAGIOS
IN BATTLE TODAY
,eoNr,tneo FROM PAGE oNEl

At Boulevard and Oetayia streets
two Mexicans heavily armed entered
tho store Of the Oetayia Pharmacy
during business hours with drawn
distols and made II b Hayes, thf
manager. deliver to them the money
in the cash register SS5 Whi'e tne
hold up was in progress, a woman Gus
toner entered and screamed the
Alexicans fled. being Joined By o'hel
Mexicans outside A general alarm
brought out all available police depn
II eher.ffs and members Of the pro
yost guard
The Mexicans were pursued anV
: altered several OF them attempting
a similar hold.up Of a grocery store
h hich failed. the bandits running on
the approach of the police
Lawrence y Nugent a civilian truck
driver. on duty as provost guard, at
II mpting to stop the bandits, was shot
and killed and pedestrians were en-
dangered by the bullets fired by ane
Il the Mexieans in the running fight
N hioh followed the drug store robbery
The Mexicans fled to the railroad
wards aud several eseaned on moyins
trains. firing upon officers who pur
sued them The Mexicans late todal
we're taken from freight train q
Tort Hancock, Texas. and are beliey
ed to be members OF the III Pass
band
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1916-10-11

w fliGI w dY w W > '~fNs
Editor Leader: Mr. Roosevelt is ad-
yocatng war Mi Hughes is critics.
ing peace They make fun OF words.
They speak sneeringly Of notes
There are two ways OF dealing with
foreign power BY diplomatic notes
or by opening hostiltes, There is
no other way OF settling an interna-
tional dispute. Nobody will deny that
this is true
Mr. Wilson chose notes He got the
Kaiser to accede to hsi demands, and
agree that the lives of passengers
upon non resisting unarmed ships
would be sNled
The Allies have tried hostilities.
What have they gotten the Kaiser TO
agree to do in their behalf? Nothing
but to fight them to death
MIR Wilson sought the one way The
Allies have embraced the other
Mr. Hughes and Mr Roosevelt are
against Mr. wilson's way Then they
are certainly in favor of following the
examples Of the Allies
Which do you prefer2-R Summers.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1916-10-11
HATCHETT F|END.
APPEARS AGAIN
ON EAST SIDE
GROCERYMAN FINDS NEGRO,
Ak IN HAND AT BEDSIDE;
FIRES SHOT

Muskogee, Oct II The hatchet man
is again abroad in Muskogee, the p0-
lice believed this morning after they
had been summoned 10 the grocery
store Of W y Foster, 80 Kalamazoo
street, and had picked from the floor
a murdcrous looking AK which a negro
intruder had dropped in his flight
Foster sleeps in the rear Of his
store lie was awakened at about 2
O'Clock this morning by the sound Of
falling chair lie saw a negro
standing by his bed an AK in his hand
what do you want" Foster asked,
q want your money the negro re-
Piled
Foster Jumped from his bed The
negro fired at him twice but both
shots went wild The intruder then
fled dropping his AK as he ran. The
police found the AK whore he had
dropped it
Foster is an aged man who lives
alone in The rear Of his store He
was unable TO give a description OF
the negro except that he is OF small
stature
Three victims Of the hatchet man
who was abroad several months age
were killed in their stores and two OF
them were grocerymen.
The people OF this city who haC
about recovered from the fright
caused by the former murders .art
again in terror
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1916-10-11
GREAT BtTILE 70
BE EOl GIT IN
STIR MA REGION
CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE,

Scrbians have been advancing It
is probable that these moves are
designed to relieve the pressure on
the Rnaanlans, who have been
hard pressed.
Unofficial dispatches say the
Rumanians are seriously menaecd.
Austria announces the repulse
Of Russian attacks in Galicia, but
gives few details.
Great Britain is preparing to
ask for a new loan Of three hun
drcd thousand million pounds,
which Will bring the total up to
over three billions.
Germany also will soon ask lor
a new loan Of twelve billion
marks increasing the total to
siXty-fow billions.