davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03

Des Seuers, oas gegen 8 llbr
abenos in ben unteren Gaumlibfei-
ten ausbrad, lit unbefannt Der ON
aeridtete S6aoen miro auf $4,000
geld)ast. Ser Stub liegt in Der Na-
be BON Sort 8liB nno cine Wenge
2eute batten iid eingefunoerL Do
fidJ IN Der Staot oas @eriidt per-
breitete, oaB oas Sort BON Weri=
fonern in grano geiebt lei.
- Muf Die Hadridt bin Bob @e-
neral Sunlton Die Germenonl1g Der
Wiilia gruppen sur 8epadung Der
@ren5e enlpfoblen bat, teilt General
sloiutant Slitdings nit, Dob Die
teraniide electromagnetic fiji ltno fer
tie lit uno ieoen Iugenblif III Die
Mftion eingreifen fam.
Die teraniIden Seuerperlihe=
rungs @eie1ldaften bebauptenL
oaB Die geaenlDartig eriitierenOen
Teriiherungs Gaten 81 nieorie
linb mo boben lid bebnfs Grbobnng
oerlelben an Die ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
&ommiiiion gepanot. Die apmmil-
lion bot oen %. Mai als Sermin
angeieBt, an Dem Die Ingelegenbeit
sur Gerbanolung fomnlen loa. Nae
Sntereifierten, ionic oas 8ublifum
I'M IIgemeinen limo eingelaoen, bel
ben geratungen gegenipdrtig 81 lein-
geim State Snouitrial 4cei-
bent 9ooro" 81 4uitin tpuroen i'm
Monat april 1865 llnfdae ange-
meIoet; orei Berionen mrroen geto-
tet. Set Dem 1. Sept, Dem Be-
ginn oes fisfalen Sabres, be5iffert
Iid Die 3abl Der unfdae I'M Staate
anf 20,794; BON oieien battcn 63
einen totliden Nnsgans.
S1mmtlide 8oriteber Der ltao-
tiIhen 9epartements, nit gusnabmle
oes SoIiaei : Chefs Hpoil, muroen
bonn Stabtrat in Dallas mieoer err
nannt uno beitatigt. 9ie gntloiIung
8pans ideint oarallf bin5uoenten.
bob cine pollitdnoiee Reorganization
oes Yoli6eiweiens beabiidtist lit.
Der gfitein oes nelien IoIt-
office : @ebduoeS in 9renbam miro
am 5. Mai inter Dem ;3erenloniea
Ser 6reimmtrer eingeIeBt meroen.
Ser ~46idbrige %. $. Soaan,
Der Dor bier Sabren iparIos ans
ieiner Seimat GREENWOOD, WeilI., per-
ldmurloen mar, lit iest llad elmer
fangen Guide bon ieinem 6aI6brll-
Der, SO. gsper. nit @iilfe Ser So
li5ei in Corpus GbriIti aufgeflmben.
Ger Wann mar frnnf, lebte in eiuem
3elte in Der Ha6e Der Gtaot mo
fpuroe bon m%iIotatigen Sormern ser
ltmgegeno lmteritiiBt ltno ourd N(-
moien am 2eben erbalten. Sem
8ruoer lieB i'm nof eillcln Sono-
torium bringen.
Sn Burton nerifieo I'M Suuie
Ieines SdlpiegeriobneS Der %Stiabriae
@eorg s. @eitot ans 9renhann, Gin
otter fonfooeriertergeter oes giir.
gerfrieaeS; Der 8eritorbene miro bon
orei Sobncn uio flint 9odtcrn BE-
trauert.
SSm @ount @tdr5 mllrocn in
nnicrm Stoate Oierluooier5ig Gaar
3tpillinge uno stpei WfaI Oriainae
geboren. Die @eiammt5abl ser
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03
L.ckdIes.
u + { /.

S%nbe5ng auf ben aliooelmub-
Del i'm Holi5ei 0epnrtement lit
nihts Heltes 5u meloen. aaneafter
fungiert ullgeitort meiter ais Yolioei-
def nno erh1lt leine Snitruftionen
POM MaDor. Ser BON Ibr ernann-
te Holi5eihef galonin meloet lid)
ieoen Gag Sum Gienit, obne iebod)
irgeno etmas aus5uribten. 4nf
Nahgiebigfeit lheillt auf feiner Sci
te 81 rednen iein. es beiBt, oaB
ubr aohmals ourd) Die @erihte Sen
getueis liefern Mil, oaB mir fein
5lt Hedt deficiencies HoIi5ei- uno
Jeuerlpebr Gepartement boben,
poranf Die Aufloinng Der alten De-
partemellts erfolgen miiBte.
SSll Dem ipeber peroffentlidteu
9eridt oes 1tdotiid)en @clunobeits
amtes iDerOen Die ianitaren 3uItan
De III Den 5leiid- uno 6ildlaoen als
ltbr b~efricoigeno be3eidnet melliaer
GIT fonnen Die Heltaurants neq,
oeaen man oen Manael an
Screen Eiiren uno on5u aroBe
Spariamfeit in Be5ilg auf Sis Dor
iuirft. Sdarf getnoelt ongesen iper-
ben Die offenen, an Den Seitenme.
gen acknowledgement iSrudtitanbe, in
oenen lif Der StraBenltaltb ltfo al
lerbdno gafterien a~ufb1uien 5oncn
ebenlo ldarf iueroen Die Nildbano-
Ter fritiiiert, oenen man aIeidfoas
@~isfnmlierei gum 8ormurf mod1t
oitd ioa Die meiitc MiId MIR fnopp
ben porgeldJriebenen @ehalt an BUT
terfeft baden.
Der gau oes nellen Sf)lIbou.
les III Der Weft Side @aro it @reno
& goseI iibertraeen. Gos Sans
miro $35,557 folten. Martin @rio6t
erbiclt Den aontraft fin ole eleftri-
ld)en Ginrid)tnngen. -@s muroc
pom SdilIraf ferner teidl[oifeu,
eIi1 anbau an Die Shule SO. IA IN
Vel Ono 81 MAIDEN. ger gnboli
miro 5mei 3inmer entbalten .-9(ui
cine getition BON 8iirqern, neiBer
nno farbigell, bin mioerrief Ser
Sdilrat ieinen friibereii geid1IuB,
eI1en Elab fir Elm 0eaerid,uIbnns
an Der 9elapare mno pine Strose
81 faufen.
9iftriftridter gapIoe 10. lid,
gefpeIgerts Den Manoomlisbefeh[ al
erlallen. ollrd) ocn Capt. CLAIM oIs
repnhifaniider Gountuporiiber. oe.
5ipliilgen iper6en Ioate, Dem SIC.
publican GInb@. cine Qiite Der @ohI.
plate uto Fre5inftborlibenoen mir
ole repnblifanilde 8rimorfpobI nm
Saniitag mls5uIiefern. CAPT G(oiu
bat ilbrigens instpiifen ifjon 6iele
Elite freimiaiq aitsaeIieferf.
Dos Gcitamcnt 6es am 3. s(prir
pe~ritorbenen @ater 8iaiam 81. S,,hr.
iperf 1T beim bieiiaen RafIosaerift
sur geltatiguflg eingereidt, surll
8eltaments 8oaitreder lat Der Ser.
lhieoene SofepB gourano ernanut
YIN fleineren 9egaten fino ousaeIebt
on leilien 8rnoer aooIpb GiaDrtuerf,
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03

@eburten betrllg 1902, Die Der Go
oesfalle 3013.
Sn 8oeo balten CUR 3eit Die
gadermeiiter ibre Sabresfonpention
ab.
Sta0tmarlbaa Blair in Mio=
Lothian bat ii6 ourd ~sufd1ige gnt-
laonng ieiner 8iitole eribofien.
Sn Souiton lit geItern Die
a%onpention Der teraniifen 8onfiers
Srldinrtengetreten.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03
Ser SroaeR oeS 2ohnnrsfes

Ser Hro5eB oes 3abnnrStes
Mrtbur 8arren @aite, Der 1einen
SbDiegerDater, Sobn e. Bed, per-
giftet baben Ion, miro am %. Mfnt
in Seem Yorf Beginner.
Sn ct. 2onis I~treifen Nrlef-
trager nno @auarbeiter.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03


MISUNDERSTANDING
eor arto,;a o. > wr; tota
w.Sn slnlp,'D' 1eS, .. 1ual 5Slo 70
1a,a. Saa So'ioa Sseo Sus ~
ns Dea @uu
Nefp gorf, 3 Wtnt- Spot S10.65
olD gta1, Slo.Io 1lno $lO12; SUM,
$lo.92 llno $11.O0; Sui, $11.06 uno
sll.lO; augllt $11.06 lrlo $11.09;
September, $10:98 rn6 $1,000; Otto
ber $500 UNI 1926; alobember, $9.16
nno S92V; Se5eif1ber, $3.50 mo S8-92-
zarm. grnS,,fte
Snl ah1onio. SeG, O. gtdl 1919
gnlieI zze per YLln0
Sisl si'ni ll'lHe) 1ae per Soso-
gnps'eI ioe-2oe peg FTo.
SSuIleps Loo per ssflno
~ MeIl . per 1nlgel
s,nfer 5oe nor @,,51si
sen Sf1 90 ner Sor,ne
Wen1lfr.
&nrtoffeln, California, 1925; Colo
ra0o. $3.50.
SalBe aarto1teln. Soniliana. $1.75.
3pmafen. seIas 9 &orbs $500.
1lnnlenlopls Sl.lo fur IL Stud
grofe. ghniee 81 Ok. gbrhstoi 1cr
$1.75.
aopflalnt. Csc uno Toe per Snuluer.
Bohnen, California BnhplfS. SS.60.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03

Sas nntere nnb pbere Stodfuerf
BON Nr. 21S Sit-Gummerce Strake
IT 81 b%errenten. Nabere Nnsfnnft in
Der Office Der gSreien TrcFe".
Stride aaffee- rno SeeIortsn ie-
ben Gag. HeinbarS e. So. SeIe-
pbon Grofett 4S7.
Or. s. u. Tiper, OTteopatb f0s
Soleoao Ctr. oben. Office Gel. Gr.
4S6. @obnuugsteI. gr. t437.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1916-05-03

Banmiupae.
Gottpnfamen. TrpDnfte.

Gan antonio. Segns, 10 Gents.
@alpeiton, aeitern, 1880 Gents.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
ResourcefuI BURGLAR.

A constable going the rounds of his
beat in London a few nights ago no.
ticed light in a house from which the
family and servants had gone out of
town. After the officer had pulled the
bell several times a man put his head
out of the bedroom window to say that
he would be down in a few minutes.
He came down in dressing gown and
carrying candle in his hand.
The constable explained his suspi-
cion, whereupon the man stated that
he had just run up to town to see that
all was right. After chatting for q lit
tie he invited the constable to have a
glass Of wine. He lit the dining room
gas and produced a bottle Of port.
After they had drunk each others
health he let the constable out and
bolted the door after him.
The man lost no time in getting the
"swag" together and left the house by
another exit
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
The Evil Eve.

1t is probable that the "evil eye" for
which many hapless old women were
harried to their death on the suspicion
Of witchcraft in ''the good old days."
was no more than a common squint, a
cast in the eye, or "bossing," as it
IL called In many parts Of the country
to this day, writes DR.. n. Bishop Har-
man In the British Journal Of Chill
dfen's Diseases. Not only was the
squirt thought to be Of evil signih-
canoe, but the defect itself was con-
sfdered to be the work Of evil spirits.
In "King Lear" we find the following
In the scene on the heath at night:
This is the foul fiend Flibberttgib-
get He begins at curfew and walks
till the first cock; he gives the web and
the pin, squints the eye and makes
the harelip, mildews the white meat
and hurts the poor creature Of earth"
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
O'ConneII as an Orator.

Few orators have been so fortunate
Is Daniel O'Connen In their physical
appeal to the senses. Grattan, Cur
ran, Emmett, Shell and Meagher were
small men, not the least impressive to
the eye. OConnell was a man Of royal
aspect His voice was seductively
musicalthe most musical, according
to Disrach, ever heard in the house of
commons. 1t was soft, Of Reat COM
pass, capable OF expressing every TN
agtnable emotion His eyes, light In
color and full, flashed or beamed or
burned, according to the sentiment ex-
pressed His contemporaries all men
ton the expresSibility Of his mouth
His gestures were free and bold, not in
the least suggestive Of elocution and
yet infinitely graceful and apt. There
was nothing in his manner indicative
OF preparation. His manner was easy
and without effort Wendell Phillips,
who heard him, says in his lecture:
I'VE used to say of Webster, This is
a great effort Of Everett, Tt is a beau
ttful effort but you never used the
word effort in speaking Of O'Connen
1t provoked you that he would not
make an effort. THE Irish Orators"
by Claude G. Bowers.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
The First War.

The first writing known to scholars
was the account Of a war waged be-
tween hostile nations in Mesopotamia,
perhaps $500 B. @. The first battle
was that between Cain and Abel APP
parently men have always been quick
to settle their differences by fighting.
The first wariike king is said to have
been Osymandyas of Egypt who pass
ed into Asia and conquered Bactria in
200 B. G. Pa1amedes Bacgos Is
mythically reported to have been the
first who ranged an army in a regular
line Of battle, placed sentinels round a
camp and excited the soldiers vigi-
lance by giving him password. This
occurred during the siege Of Troy, the
date of which is variously estimated at
about $500 years before the Christian
era--Pittsburgh Press.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
Liahtninq Rods.

There were no lightning rods In an
Gent times. The first one that the
world ever saw was set up by our
own fIlustrious countryman Benjamin
Franklin shortly after the year 1852.
He had Just had his celebrated expert
ment with the kite, in which he dem
onstrated the identity Of lightning
with electricity, and was therefore
prepared for the construction of the
rods for which the world had waited
so long. 1t is not generally known
that Franklin was as distinguished in
science as he was in craftsmanship
and diplomacy.-Exchang
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
Knew His Man.

George Bubb, better known as Bubb
Doddington, one of the wits Of the
eighteenth century, always dined well
and always liked to doze after the re
past Falling asleep one day after din
ner with Sir Richard Temple and Lord
Gotham, the latter reproached bod
dington with his drowsiness. Dodding-
ton denied having been asleep and to
prove he had not offered to repeat all
Lord Gotham had been saying. Cob
ham challenged him to do so. bod
dington repeated a story, and Lord
Gotham owned he had been telling it.
''WelL" said Doddington, land yet I
did not hear a word Of it, but went
to sleep because knew that about this
time Of the day you would tell that
story"
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
Givinq a Horse Its Name.

The shire horse owes its name to Ar
thur Young's remarks, in the descriP-
ton Of his agricultural tours during
the closing years of the eighteen CEN
fury, concerning the large old English
black horse, "the produce principally
Of the shire counties in the heart of
England" But long previous to this
the word "shire" in connection with
horses was used in statutes OF Henry
VIII. Under the various names Of the
war horse, the great horse, the old
English black horse and the shire horse
the breed has for centuries been cult
waited in the rich fen lands Of Lincoln
shire and Cambridgeshire and in many
counties of the west. Curiously
enough, the Shire Horse society, which
has done so much to promote the
breed, was known for the first six
years of its existence, which began in
1878, as the English Cart Horse socie-
U.-London Chronicle.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
BURGLAR KEPT MONEY.
Woman's Last Word About Funds In
the Bank Brought Decision.

Kansas City, Nozzle was polite,
even suave, as he unlocked the door
and entered the room occupied by Mrs.
William Buchanan of 1916 Locust
street the other day. He closed the
door SO quietly and had such Il gen
tlemanly manner that Mrs. Buchanan
was too much surprised to scream.
The intruder took her pocketboOk, con-
tanning nearly So, from the dresser.
Then Mrs. Buchanan protested.
please don't take my money. 1t Is
all have" she pleaded.
"But 1 understood you had lots Of
money" replied he, holding the cash in
his hand. But il this is all you have
I'll return it"
But have more than that" she in
sisted. Its in the bank, but as don't
feel very well goodness knows when |
shall be able to get more" she contin-
ued. The intruder hesitated, smiled and
then took the money. Mrs. Buchanan
then called the police.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
His Backbone Is a Sprino,

The swapping bug has a spring in his
back, Ike knife When not I'm use
as a spring it serves him as q back
bene, so you see he is a. believer In
scientific efficiency and makes one part
OF his machinery do the work Of two.
His spring backbone, or backbone
spring If you prefer, gives him power
to jump, which in turn gives him bis
name. Nature probably gave him the
spring to help him get on his feet when
he's on his back. You've noticed how
helpless some insects are when you
lay them on their backs. Not this one,
however. He slips his backbone out
OF Its groove and then slips it back
again suddenly. The spring pops him
up In the air, he turns a somersault
and drops right side up. Spring back
bones are common in several other
beetles. The beetle of the pestiferous
wire worm, which destroys the farm
ers crops, has a spring in his back.
Other members of the family make
their homes in trees or decayed wood.
Philadelphia North American.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
THE MAGIC RAKE.

Hans was a plowman, but was very
poor, for, no matter how hard he work
ed, his wages were so small that he
was barely able to get enough to eat.
He was most obliging and gener-
Gus young fellow, however, and never
wearied Of helping his neighbors when
they needed assistance.
One day when Hans was busy plow-
ing a field he found, to his surprise, q
broken rake lying on the ground
Il wonder whose rake it isY' said
Hans to himself. 1T Is a fine rake
and only needs a little mending to
make 1t as good as new"
STOPPING down, he picked up the
rake, which was of a different pattern
from any he had ever seen.
Some one has lost it" thought Hans,
''or perhaps has put it down until he
can have it mended."
When the days work was done and
Hans was ready to so home he noticed
that the broken rake was still lying
unclaimed by any one.
"ITl take it home and mend it." he
decided. Some one will most likely
come and search for it tomorrow"
So Hans took the rake home, and, as
he was very handy with tools, he mend
ed the rake so skillfully that it was in
deed as good as new.
The next morning Hans set forth to
complete the blowing Of the field and.
taking the mended rake with him, laid
1t down where he had found It
On his way home he passed the spot
where he had placed the rake, but it
was no longer there.
1.-The owner has come for it." said
Hans aloud.
you are right, Hans" said a small
voice near by. 1.-The owner has now
got his mended rake"
Hans turned in establishment, and
there stood a little fellow not more
than a foot high, dressed in brown
leather, with a curious. conical cap on
his head.
'Thank you very much, Hans, for
mending my rake. have been able to
do nothing with it for long time, but
you have made it better than ever"
said the little man. He added: 'NTake
it for your own 1t will bring you
luck"
So Hans became the owner Of the
magic rake. Ever after his crops grew
wonderfully, and in time he became
rich.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24

dustrial and social conditions, legisla-
ton, literature, library extension, mu-
sic, drama, public health, and subdivi-
sions Of these committees to include
child labor, woman suffrage, moth
ers' pensions, peace, preparedness, food
sanitation, housing, prison reform, min
imum wage, political science, tubercu-
losis, child welfare and hygiene, Amer
icanization and current events and
progress in every department Of activ-
ity In national life. State declarations,
city declarations and the clubs them
selves are completely Differed along
this same organized line, all tributary
to the General Federation.
The president of this huge activity,
Mrs. Pennybacker, in a recent inter
view said of the first biennial she at
tended in Los Angeles fourteen years
ago:
"The very immensely of the conyen-
ton was an inspiration. There were
women from every state in the Union,
representing every phase, every group
of our national life. While some feel
that the General Federation must be
recognized so as to bring about
smaller attendance, let us never forget
that a part of the inspiration comes
from the bigness. History has never
yet fully written the chapter as to the
part the General Federation has play
ed in wiping out sectional feeling. One
reason why there is i'll this dear land
of ours today so little north, south, east
or west is because the women of all
sections meet, counsel and labor to-
gether. When we learn to know each
other appreciation comes and misun-
Outstanding disappears. When we
work together for some great cause
petty differences drop from us like
wornout garments.
at was also delight to see that
beauty had its place in this great gath
ering of women. No one has forgot
ten the 10000 Gala lilies which were
used as decorations the first two days,
followed by carnations, they in turn
giving way to numberless roses of ev-
cry hue.
Everywhere one felt that the wom-
en- took their work seriously and with
the conviction that it is truly worth
while. On the last night this earnest
ness developed into spiritual climax.
We closed in Il moment of ecstasy as
we sang God BE With You Till We
Meet Again. while from the galleries
the fair hands of the California wom-
en- let flutter down millions Of rose
petals. covering us with fragrance.
as it not significant that these i'm
presSions make of themselves the one
word service which is the keynote
of our entire federation life?"
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
FOR CLUDWOMEN.
An Army of Them Gathers In New
York City.
SERVICE" IS THE KEYNOTE.

The National Convention, Under the
Presidency of Mrs. Pennybaeker and
Twenty Thousand Strong, Assembled
From Forty-eisht State Conventions.
The greatest organization of women
In any nation of the world, the General
Federation of Women's Clubs, was
born in New York twenty-six years
ago.
For the first time 1t returned to fits
birthplace, to hold its thirteenth con-
vention. So complete, well manned
and vital is the organization that the
entire body responds to the pressing Of
the button or by a wireless that e1-
tends to every remote section Of every
state in the Union. 1t has working
departments in every line of activity
art, ciyics, civil service reform, conser-
walton, education, home economics, in
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
TOOK CLOTHES FOR DEBT.
Because He Couldn't Collect So He
Seized Four Suits.


Indianapolis. - William Devine, q
farm laborer, explained in the criminal
court that, being unable to collect So
from James Boyce, living near Flack-
Vile, he took four suits of clothes as
payment. He admitted he was gen.
erous to himself, for the suits were Of
excellent quality and appearance.
First 1 put on one suit" he said,
"and then 1 thought how much better
It looked on me than it did on Boyce,
SO / took the Others"
With the disappearance of his suits
and Devine, Boyce came before the
grand jury and an indictment was re-
turned against the farm laborer. Boyce
paid SIS to find and return Devine to
the city to face the larceny charge.
Devine went TO Madison, Ind. after
taking the suits.
Judge Collins sentenced Devine to
the penal farm for ninety days.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
Cream Salad Dressing.

Mix one-half tablespoonful salt, two
and one-half tablespoonful melted
butter. one level teaSpoonful -four, a
shake of pepper and two egg yolks to-
gether until smooth. Add three-fourths
cupful of thin cream. you may take
the top of the milk in the bottle and
have the rest of the milk to use for
something else.) Then add slowly one
fourth cupful vinegar or lemon juice.
stirring as you add it. Cook over hot
water until thickened. II too thick
after standing to cool. thin with cream
or milk.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
A Painter and His Pet.

Rembrandt, the famous painter, had
a monkey he loved very much. The
monkey took sick and died as Rem
brandt was painting the picture of
noble family. He was told at once,
and he commenced to cry, and then
he started to draw the picture he was
making. Nothing would stop him from
doing this, although every one tried to
do so. When the man he was paint
ing the picture for saw the picture he
refused to take it, for Rembrandt told
him the picture was of the monkey
and not of his family. 1t is said this
picture is still in existence.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
NEW USE FOR OLD GLORY.
In a Brooklyn Court It Protects the
Bench"

In a Brooklyn Court It Protects the
Bench"
New York.-After an adjournment of
the Brooklyn court of special sessions
recently the bench and clerks desk
were bedecked with an American flag.
whats the dear Chief Probation
Officer John ]. Rooney was asked.
'That's the duster," Rooney explain
ed. when the janitor sweeps he COW
ers the bench and clerks desk with
the old flag"
Indignant, the questioner sought out
Chief Clerk Joseph l. Kerrigan and
demanded an explanation Of the ap-
parent dissertation Of Old Glory.
"Well, isn't the flag protecting the
bench?" was Kerrigan's ready re-
Spouse.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
M'M so FOND OF MUSICp
That Explains What Maid Does With
an Advance of Wages.

an Advance of Wages.
Chicago.-For a few days a young
north shore matron believed she had
solved the servant girl problem. Her
first girl found the country life too
slow and returned home "back Of the
yards"
This experience afforded an inspira-
ton, and she imported girl from her
former home at Galesburg. Kindly
treatment was to be the keynote Of
success, so when she discovered the
new maid lacked underwear she armed
her with a dollar and shopping In
Structions.
= In thirty minutes the girl was back,
but minus the underwear. In its place
she had purchased a mouth organ
costing 40 cents, which she exhibited
proudly to her mistress with the re-
mark:
I'm so fond of music"
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
Reversing the Compliment.

A cashier of somewhat portly build
was frowning over a statement Of &C
counts just placed before him BY bis
pretty typist.
"As a young lady," he said, Il adj
mire your type, but 1 can't honestly
say I admire your typing."
"How funnyw she replied smartly.
1--WE are so different, for, though you
are of course splendid at figures, no
one could say you have a splendid flg-
urep-London Express.
The broad ax., 1916-06-24
A Bripht Outlook.

"Do you-er-dO you think, Miss
Dobleigh, that you will be-er-engag-
ed next Thursday eveningT asked
Tompy very bashfully.
"Well, really. Mr.. Tompy," replied
Ethel, 81 don't know, but If you can
get up spunk enough between now and
then to do your share 1 think there's
fair prospect that shall be-"
And Tompy did.