davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
ouchI

The tall angular. hard-faced woman was standing directly in front Of the fat man in a crowded car. The fat man was sitting down and was deeply interested in reading his newspaper. The car swung around the curve and the fat man glnred at the tall woman.
 Madam" said the fat man. you are standing on my feet"
 Well" calmly replied the tall wo. man. you are not using thcm. are you? You are sitting down. -Nouis. vIlle CourIer.Journal. )
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

city was considering @ proposition to appropriate 0 certain sum of money for gondolas for the lakes in the city parks. It was proposed to import the gondolas from Italy and 20 of them were to be obtained for the sum of S2O.OOO. An Irish councilman got up and objected to importing 20 gondolas at the price named Said he: Why not import two of them, and let na- ture take its course."-(Cinclnnat. Enaulrer.l
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
some ReaI RIeroaIyphIcs.

They tell me that Dr. HIghbrow, the famous scientist. who translated all of the tablets excavated from Ba- bylonian cities and who cbn read hieroglyphicS like you can read A. B. C.'s has had mental collapse" re- marked Jones.
 That so9" asked Smith. How did It happen?"
 He tried to declpher the time table in a railroad Colder" - Cincinnati Enquirer.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Delegate wickersham cannot pasa any buck" up to anybody by introducing full Territorial form of gov. ernment bil he lets drop at that He can secure the passage of fun Territorial form of government" bm if he tries hard enough And even that would not pass the buck" simply would be doing real service to the poole of Alaska something for which he ia paid to do and something for which oil would unito In giving him praise.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
The Joe MlIIer contett.

xenia claims that the oldest joke Is the one about the man who was caught on the tenth floor of hotel whom a fire broke out. The man found ten pairs of rubbers In h.s room of all sizes he put them all on and jumped out Of the window. He hit the street feet first and bounced 10 feet in the alr. He came down again and boun- ed up again and kept on bouncing up and down for five days and they had to shoot him on the wing to keep h'm from starving to death.
 wes. Greschbach holds that this is the oldest joke:
 The Common Council of q certain
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
Located.

What has become" asks the Gin cinnati Enquirer, "of the old fashioned man who used to st--t hIs letter this way: T now take my pen In hand to let you know we arc all well, hoping you are the same@" Our understand Ing is that he Is living with his old fashioned brother who used to "beg leave to subscribe myself. Your Obe- dient servant"-(Columbia g. c. State)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

In the course of letter home. quct- ed in the Morning Post. ap officer in an English line regiment, now at a base convalescent depot. says:
 'I saw @ rather amusing thing yes terday. It was the copy of Q letter written by Tommy's wife to the war office. It ran thus: Dear sir: Ac- cordlng to the instructions received by you on the white paper, give birth to child on October 1S,"-Uondon Post.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

veness that the shooting of MaderO not done as the
 result of any action by the constituted officials of Mexico but we search in vain in bis statement for proof that Huerta did not know about 1t.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
Rather Formidable.

'Ts woman really the weaker ves- sel?"
 'I dunno. You encounter one of the dreadnought type now and then" -(Louisville Courier-Journal)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

No Senator or Representative in Congress- who VIII not stand sponsor for resolution declaring war on offending country or countries has right critcse the administration policy with reference to the unlawful submarine warfare on passenger ships.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
oceIfer, Call a Cop

She picks up Hubby's pants. Ah, mel She is frisking his pockets for
 kale; And, as she searches with great glee, can see she is robbing the male.- Cincinnati EnQuirer.)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

LADIES WHO FIND FAULT with cleaning. preosing and repairing ought by all means to try our work. It's bound to please everyone. Satisfying customers is our business. Try us and see. Ever have your clothes pressed the Hoffman way? Or your furs cleaned heref You'll like 1t. The Renovatory. Phone S94. 1-5-tf.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
The Hardest Part.

What is the hardest part of your work as lecturer?" asked the man designated as toastmaster.
 "As 0 rule" replied MT. speeklns, "the hardest part of my work is walk ing the audience up after the man who has introduced me has conclud- cd his remarks "-( Washington Star)
 -s-o-o
 Hart schaffner & Marx Suits at 25es discount Goldstein's Emporium 1.5.tf.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
Ever Trled t.

AuntIe-well Tommie, what have you learned in school today.
 Tommy-How to whisper without moving the lips.-(chicago HeraldJ
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Col Roosevelt in an article for the Metropolitan Magazine says President Wilson has been approprang his ideas If he has he's been bin em down from 10000 words to 400 and maxim 'em unrecognizable-( Louis vile courier-Journal)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

German newspapers point to the fact that Gen. Hag. the new British commander. never had experience in handling such armies as are in the field Neither had any other man prior to this war
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

The following students attending tho Michigan Agricultural College de- sire membership in the Names Is Names Club: A. Waltz. l. Robb. Green Speaker. C. Beach. Rome Rust, A. Lennon. Goodrich Pyke. A. Gum. A. Spoon. B. Straight. Reside Wright, Weliland Gay, C. Gee. Forest Roe buck. Chin Noe. and Luce Coons.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Rev D. J. Higgins aged sS. is student in California college. He expects to graduate two years hence He has retired from the min0try but evidently believes that he is not too old to learn CNhitehorse star)
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
PUBLIC srENoeRAPAERs

JUNEAU's PUBLIC sTENoGRA- pher. Mrs. E. c. Hazelton. 421 Gold stein Building. Res. 15 Cliff Apats., Phone 209. 11-4-6m.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
Disenoaaed.

safety-So Jack is engaged. is he? And is Fanny the bride-to-be?
 First-No, she Is the tried-to-be. "- rr1nsuarasf., of A1ahraahal A1rD-rassi.-
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

The only time when a man doesn't overestimate his s,ze Is when he picks out a fellow of his own size to whip.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
srovEs ANp REPAlRs

Come and see about my 1916 prices. They are made to satisfy everybody. c. Drlica. Sanitary Plumbing. 114 Front Street. Tel. 27S. 1-6.tf.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Mix the love letters of wise Man and a Darn Fool up together and you can't tell which is which.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

When she Is sixteen she believes Q man tells her. But when she is twenty-six you have to show her the Blue Prints and produce the EslIimos.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Dr. A. storh is a pracdcing physi clan at Huntington, Ind.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

War has boosted the price of other things and 1t is to be hoped 1t will boost the price of perfumes SO that some people will be compelled to SO back to plain soap and water
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

The Divine Sarah is we'll again. How these press agents do kn herI-( (Chicago Horald.l
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

( Cincinnati Enuuirer) Paysoff Tinkoff is an attorney at law at Fall River. Mass.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Ebe Light. the Middleton (ohio) oil man. and c. A. g. Light. of Ottawa, Ohio. have been made the committee on illumination for the Names is Names Club.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Some of the men who learned to Crawl when they were babies have never outgrown the habit.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
JANIroR sERvIcEs

Day and Night janitor service and window cleaning. All work promptly attended to. Monthly rates. Phone 37s. J.. L. GORDON. Mgr. 11-24-tf
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
pYElNe AND CLEANING

WHEN OTHERS FAIL to please you call TIT. the Capital Dye Works, for French Dye Cleaning, steam clean ing, dying and pressing. We have pleased others and can please you. c. MELDNER. professional cleaner and dyer. If
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
REsrAuRANrs AND cAFEs

CITY RESTAURANT. Chop suey and Chinese Noodles. sent anywhere In the city on special order. Board with room $1.OO per day. Phone ss7 9-9-6m.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
AUTO REPAIRs.

U-AUTo REPAIR and vulcanize at the Juneau Garage. We do night and day work. Willoughby Avenue, phone 2S2. G. E. Collins, Propr. s-1O-sm
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

wANTED-Three or four room fur. nished apartment. B.-Empire. .7-tf.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
Tommy'e Letter.

Let The Empire do your printing.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
stTs OF sY-PLAV (By Luke MoLukel

(CInc.nnati Enquirerl Opportunity usually comes disguised as an invitation to work harder than you have been working.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07

Eay de way I.ves at Lincoln. Nod.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
Roome FOR RENT

SPECIAL WINTER RATES - Best rooms in Juneau, steam heated. hot and cold water in every room. Strict ly up to date. Come and see them. Orphenm Building. 12-21.tf
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
NAMes is NAMES

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The Alaska daily empire., 1916-01-07
oIaggiaed AdvertIaementa

wANTED-MIsooIIaue0us
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
MISS CLENOANIEL JUDGES
At Devon HORSE SHOW

Special 10 THE EVENING JOURNAL.
NEWARK, June Miss Ruth Glen
daniel sophomore at the Women's
College, who is taking a four year agri.
cultural course, was member of the
student Judging team that represented
the Women's College and Delaware Col
lege in the Judging com tuition at the
Devon Horse Show yc-,, .ay and won
high honors. Miss Clendamel was the
only woman member of any of the
teams in ths competition. and she cap
turcd first prize IN judging saddle
horses and third in judging the high
steppers. As result of her clever
Judging work she was awarded a silver
cup and bronze medal. The Judges
were William DUPONT, of Wilmington,
and Mr.. West. of New York
The excellent showing made bv Miss
Nlendaniel speaks well for the agrcul-
tuml course offered at the Women.
College The other members of the
team were: William A. Sayin. y. w.
Taylor G.. o. Smith and j. NJ. llemcl
he team had been coached by Profcs.
soy Frank b. Hills. instructor in animal
husbandry. and there had been very Iii.
tie time for preparation Their compot.
i,ors were teams from the University of
Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania State and
the Williamson School
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
MYSTERIOUS ORIENT
IS REVIVED BY circus

From the Tales of Sheherizade.
those wondrous stories that never
grow old. the Barnum & Bailey circus
has fashioned its nightly display, Per-
sia or the Pageants Of the Thousand
and One Nights. which opens each
performance OF the circus as it will
appear in Wilmington on July 10.
Sheherizade told her strange and fan
tastic stories into the amourous ears
Of the Persian king now many years
ago but Barnum & Bailey have spent
million dollars. and 10. the mighty,
glittering hosts of Persia come forth
again in all their Oriental splendor.
The prOdigiOus number of charac-
ters some 1850. included in the
pageant, wear a total Of $500 cos
tunes on which an infinite amount Of
care and historic research have been
lavished The pageant is supplemented
by music of a barbaric character from
$50 instumentalists. Forty richly
caparisoned elephants move in some
of the scenes bearing on their backs
/ the beautiful princesses of the Orient
while 500 blooded horses. many Of the
famous Arabian strain. lend additional
color to this perfect picture of the
Arabian Nights. caravan Of thirty
camels is included in the first en-.
trance.
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
BRIGHTEN The CORNER He
SANG AS HIS HOME BURNS

Brighten the Corners Where You
Are is one of the favorite hymns OF
the Rev. Dr. A. Edwin Keigwin, Of
New York, formerly Of this city. and
he found simself singing this at the
top Of his lungs a few days ago at
his summer home on Lake Winnipe-
saukee, near Wolfeboro. n. H.. when
suddenly neighbOrs ran in and attract
ed ais attention to the fact that his
corners" were entirely too bright
In fact, the corner" nearest the
chimney was so bright tnat It was
cracking, while great flames swept
up on all sides Within an hour his
beautiful home was burned to the
ground
DR.. Keigwin, who is pastor Of the
West End Presbyterian Church. 1O5th
street and Amsterdam avenue. New
Pork City. has returned to the city. DR.
and Mrs. keigwin had slipped away
to get their summer home into shape
for their occupancy the middle oI
next month for the vacation. While
they were adjusting things the hrc
was discovered They straightway ar
ranged TO rent The home OF one Of the
professors Of Brewster Academy
which is near by The burned house
was on part OF the twenty five acres
which Dr keigwin owns.
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
CHAUTAUOUA TO Open
THIS YEAR next SUNDAY


Chautauqua season for Wilmington
will open Sunday afternoon. June 4,
on the West End Fairgrounds, Della
ware avenue and Union street The
list Of features includes Ross Crane
painter, sculptor. humorist; Dr. A.
D. Harmon. Superintendent; the Folk
Song Quintet Colangelo's concert
band. with Miss Ethel Bentley, vocal
solcist: Dr. A. r. Turner, lecturer
Booth Tarkington's great play. "The
Man From Home Mr. and Mrs.
Henry such; Nontawlle Flowers; the
May Parker Trio. Edmund Vance
Cook. the Granville-Hines Company,
the Chimes of Normandy and DR.
Newell d. Hills
Announcement is made that there
are still few season tickets unsold
which may be purchased at the fol-
lowing places Davis iewelry store,
Tenth and Market streets; Van
deyers sporting goods store, Eighth
and Market streets; Roholon Piano
Company. Seventh and Market.
streets Lppincott and Company.
Market street between Third and
Fourth streets, Hotel DUPONT and
The " NJ G.. A.
Following is the program for The
week
Sunday. June a. 4 D. M. Mass
meeting. arranged by local commit
tee
Monday. June 3, $3.50 p. m. Folk
songs. series lecture. Dr. A. ID. Har-
mon. S d. m.. folk songs. Ross Crane.
Tuesday June 6, $3.50 D. m.-
. Colangelos band. series lecture, Dr.
Harmon p. m. band concert Miss
Edna Bentley. soloist
Wednesday. June Z, 800 p. n.
Concert. Mr.. and Mrs Henry Such;
-serics lecture, Dr Harmon; by re-
Quest. Paul NJ Pearson. president
Pennsylvania Chautauqua Associa-
iion. s D. m. concert. Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Such; lecture, Noniavillc
Flowers.
Thursday. June 8. $3.50 p. m.
Concert the Granville Hines Com
pany: series lecture, DR. Harmon. s
D. M. concert, the Granville Hines
Company; Booth Tarkington's' great
play. "The Man From Home
Friday. June Q. $3.50 p. m. Con
cert. the May Parker Trio, series
lecture. DR. Harmon. s p. m. by re-
quest lecture Rabbi Wise.
Saturday. June 10. $3.50 p. m-
Chimes of Normandy series lecture,
Dr. Harmon. s p. m. concert lee
ture. Edmund Vance Cook.
Evening journal., 1916-06-02

People are realizing more and more
every day that the kidneys, Just as do
the bowels need to be flushed occasion
ally. The kidneys are an eliminative
organ and are constantly working, sep
arsting the poisons from the blood. Tn
der this continual and perpetual action
they are apt 70 congest. and then trou-
bic starts. Uric acid backs up into the
system. causing rheumatism, neuralgia,
dropsy and many other serious disturb
ances. Doctor Pierce, OF Buffalo, New
York, advocates that every one should
drink plenty OF pure water between
meals. Every day should exercise in
the outdoor air sufficiently to sweat pro-
fusely. and from time to time stimu-
late Che kidney action by means OF
"Anuric." This preparation has been
thoroughly tried out at his Sanitarun
in the same way as his "Favoritc Pre-
scription' for weak women and Golden
Evening journal., 1916-06-02

You oughta be getting that extra mileage,
especially since il dOesut cost extra. There's
one safe sure way Of taking figures off your
gas and oil bill and putting them on your
speedometer where they belong
Use the cOmbination-At Atlantic Gas for fuel:
Atlantic Motor Oils for fabrication You can't
beat them anywhere
Atlantic Polarine is THE oil for eight out
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
URIC ACID--GOING-- -GOING--G GONE
"Anuric" Will Not Fail to Stop Your Backache.

Medical Discovery" the standard horh.
al system tonic (both OF which now
come in tablet form for convenience ~
carrying and takingl "Anuric" is now
being introduced here, and many local
people are daily testifying to its per.
fcctness.
When you have backache, dizzy spells
OF rheumatism, heed natures warninr
II means that you are a victim to uro
acid poisoning. Then ask your druqnist
for "Anuric' and you win very soon he.
come one of hundreds who daily ri,s
their thankful Endorsement to this now.
erfu enemy to uric acid.
Ii YOU have that tired, worn out feel.
ing. backachc, rheumatism, neuraleis.
or if yom sleep is disturbed by too fre.
quent urination, get DR.. Pierce. Anuri.
Tablets at drug store. full treatment
SlO0, or send Toe for trial package IA
Dr. Pierce, lnvalids Hotel Buffalo.
n. y.
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
TO BEGIN ERECTION or
IMPRESSIVE MAUSOLEUM

General Manager Carpenter OF the
Wilmington Mausoleum Company an
nounccs that contracts have been let
for the work Of the erection Of their
building IN the Riverview cemetery
and that work will be started on the
structure early next week. The eX-
terror will be of massive and durable
granite with indcstructible bronze set
in metal window frames; the whole
exterior TO be at once solemn and i'm.
POSING The interior will be finished
entirely in polished marble the en-
tire structure TO ho large enough e
accommodate 260 crypts When il i
completed Wilmington cen claim. il
not the largest mausoleum in the
country, az least the most beautiful
and impressive, Mr.. Carpenter says.
Evening journal., 1916-06-02
ROOT BEER AND ICED TEA.

Five-cent glass for three cents. Call
at our new store and get delicious
cool drink. Tamsui Tea Co. Import
ers direct Of teas and cofees, 72G King
street.-Adv.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-26
BERLIN OFFICIAL

Berlin, August 25.-(Via London.)-The
official statement of operations on the
western front says:
Yesterday evening, as on the 18th inst,
after most marked increase in the en-
emy's fire, oft-repeated attacks by the
French and British were delivered stimuli
taneously on the whole front from Thiep-
val to the Somme. Between Thiepval and
High wood these attacks broke down with
sanguinary losses. Portions of the most
advanced trenches north of Ovillers,
which had been demolished, were given
up.
I'm the sector between Longueval and
Delville wood the enemy gained advan-
tages the village of Maurepas being now
in his hands Between Maurepas and the
Somme the French storming attack met
with no success whatever.
THE French again attacked on the
right bank of the Mouse Verdun 'front.'.
The fighting was limited to the Fleury
sector and the enemy was repulsed
-Four enemy aeroplanes have been
brought down, north of the Somme and
also one each in aerial engagements near
Point Faverger, south of Varennes and
near Fiery, the last named machine on
Wednesday; and one south of Armen-
there's by anti-aircraft guns. AS fire.
quently has been the case recently in re-
gard to Belgian towns, bombs were
dropped yesterday on Mons. In addition
to important material damage to Bel
gian property, some citizens were injured
severely"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-26
BRITISH REPORT PROGRESS

London, August 25-The British official
statement concerning operations in north
ern France says:
"On our right we Joined up with tho
French, who made important progress
yesterday through Maurepas. Much hard
fighting has taken place in the eastern
and northern edges of Delville wood and
we have now advanced our line several
hundred yards on each side of the
Longueval-F road. AS a result of
these operations eight officers and 179 of
other ranks had been taken prisoner by
o'clock this morning.
THE length of the enemy's trenches
captured south of Theipval yesterday re.
ported in last nights communique, ex.
tends across the Leipsic salient for a
distance of some 700 yards. Still further
progress has been made in this sector by
bombing attacks, and with very small
loss to ourselves we have taken 50I
prisoners in addition to the 81 reported
last night.
Near the quarries east of Hullach we
exploded mine, the crater of which we
are now consolidating. Last night we
made several successful raids, entering
the German lines north of Nevile-St.
Vast near Hulluck, and west of Aubois,
inflicting some loss on the enemy. Near
Cuinchy small hostile raiding party en-
tered one of our saps but was easily
bombed OUT
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-26
BERLIN REPORT

Berlin, August 25.-(via London 1.-The
city and southwestern district of London
were bombarded Thurnoay night by Ger
man airships, an official statement is
sued by the war office today says. Bat
teries at Harwich and Folkstone also
were attacked, says the statement, which
adds that everywhere very good eff
fects were observed
The statement reads:
Thursday night several naval dirigi-
bles attacked the southern portion of the
English east coast. abundantly lombard
ing the city and southwestern district of
London; batteries at the naval vantage
points of Harwick and Folkstone and
numerous vessels at the wharf at Dover.
Everywhere very good effects were OBJ
served.
.'All the airships, both going and re-
turning were heavily but unsuccessfully
shelled by numerous guarding forces.
During their attack they were fired on
by anti-aircraft batteries. All have re-
turned" t5
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-26
Mexican Institute of
Mining Is Absorbed

New York, August 2o.-The American
Institute of Mining Engineering makes
announcement here of its absorption OF
the Mexican Institute of Mining and
M etallurgy, which will hereafter be
known as the Mexican section OF the
American organization. The Mexican IN
stitute was founded in 1909 by its present
president, Victor M. Braschi, OF Mexico
City. It's decision to merge with the
American organization is due to diff
Guilty in financing it's affairs, owing 10
national troubles in Mexico, and as re-
suit of the merger the Mexican insti-
tute will now be financed by the COM
bined organizations The American instl-
tute thus gains to it's membership more
tnan 200 of the mining experts of Next
CO. increasing it's total membership to
$500.
Announcement is also made of plans
for holding the next annual convention
of the American Institute OF Mining En-
gineers next month in Arizona, the first
time in the 40 years history of the organ
ization that it has met in that state.
The meetings will extend over the en-
tire week of September Is, and will be
held in the principal mining centers OF
the state, the members travelling between
the various points by special train and
automobile. A special train has been
arranged for to carry eastern members
from New York city on September IA
Other members and their guests will join
the party at various points en- route.
The principal towns in which the In
stitute sessions or visits of inspection
will be made are Santa Rita and Hurley,
NJ M, and Douglas, Bisbee, Globe and
Phoenix Ariz The inspection will in
clude the Roosevelt dam and the mines
and works of practically all the leading
metal producing companies of the state
At Douglas, in the technical sessions
the institute will discuss the special sub
ject of smelling At Bisbee papers will
be read on mining and geology" and at
Globe the first day will be given over to
mining and smelling" and Teaching. y
During a second day at Globe, time has
been set aside for what is regarded as an
important discussion of concentration
and flotation.''