davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

Ali Come On, One Thing at Time and In
"WorkmanIike Manner
I'll betcha that the saddest thing
On this old troubled Earth
Is the world-weary Guy with the tired eye
And that doggone counterfeit rnirth;
For grief thinly yelled is punker
Than openfaced grief. by half.
IL you do want to cry. gee whiz let er fly
When you laugh man. great Scott. Laugh.
COL HITEMwITHPE
1T was only a matter of some four
weeks ago that very dear friend of
mine in the country was praying for
warm weather for the corn" remarked
our old friend, Doc, well-knOwn and pop
ular chiropodist. "And you will have to
admit added Doc, that he is some
prayer"
Coming back to our own garden. some
thing seems TO be wrong with the ele-
plants ear. Wonder if one of them ever
gets to aching?
over the Phone
Gould you give the address Of Mr. shad-
rach?" came over the Polk DIRECTORY phone
Sorry but he's not in the Directory"
Well. is Mr. Meshack listed"
NO DIT.
Hate TO trouble you further. but is Mr. Abed-
nego in your book
NO. Sir"
Well. thank you. you see Just wanted 20
ask any OF that famous trio how Detroit
Just now compared with the fiery furnace e1-
perience. Goodbye"
"Now. Amt that bug the limit" murmured
the operator. p w r
So far as the tomatoes are concerned,
on the other hand, the time does not ap-
pear to be ripe
Where do they keep the prisoner these
days who is remarkably cool and col
lected?"
This Connolly-Marx affair is another
reason why lot of fellows prefer to
talk about the weather.
We noted in our latest talk with
Phyllis that she has dropped "uh-huh"
from her vocabulary, which would be an
improvement only for the fact that she
has taken on 'T'll say So"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
Detroit's BABY
Boys and Girls
BY moRDEN WARD

y have visited most OF the large
cities OF the country" said strans
er in the city recently. but never
saw go many children in all my life
IN the same length OF time as
have during ny visit here. Babies.
babies. babies. ever where l4'tle
boys and girls without number
wherever | so. Children OF all
grades and classes OF society, Of all
races and combinations OF races
and Of every possible color. never
saw anything Ike Il. either for
variety or quantity. and 80 far as
have been able 10 Judge. they ara
not lacking in quality. either
Our visitors impression OF De
lroit's supern6urC&nce OF babies IA
frequently remarked by people who
visit our city. II Is a fact. that De
troit is especially blessed With
young children. This Sc doubtless
due 10 the recent rapid development
OF the automobile business which
commands the services OF so many
thousands OF young men and the
fact that the yong married man "a
ALWAYS given preference b.. all the
factories.
This condition iF likelv % chain
20 long as the au'Ouoh L. business
continues 10 expand ana 10 ever
,ncreasinE numbers. The baby IL
the natural ad.lnct Of the youas
family.
But, what Is 70 become of tic
boys and girls a. thrs grow 10 man.
hood and womanhori. lave the
industrial agencies ot Detroit done
their tul! dur BY Inducing TIC cAI'.
1ren's parents ~ come h"rr 70 1--we.
or have they incurred q heavier re-
sponslblli'y7 T. i, doing enough 70
make Detroit splendid birthplace
for bah.t~? Is that AL Detroit tx
peers to be7
RI thc situation wore no, kelly 20
become s':ious, judged FROM pres.
cnt conditions. the comic writcr
could doubtless frd In the above
a theme auitei 20 his large - imag.
inatiye genius Eut the thought h.
much more suited 70 the student Of
moral philosophy than 20 the writer
of lighter vein
Seriously, What r. 20 become Of
ell the boys and girls that are In
Detroit and tho babies t!a' con
stantly bring added joy and happi.
ness 20 Detroit homeC? Are they 20
be reared 20 manhood and woman.
hood in the putI7d moral atmos-
phere that obtains in Detroit today?
Are thcy never 70 see o. know any.
think different from the present
reign OF lawlessness due 10 saloon
rule? Arc the boys and girls OF De
troll 10 know no influence other
than that which IL permitted by tho
saloon?
Friends. the thought IL too awful
for cOntempiation-that the thou
sands OF innocent babies, beautiful.
bright. arectionate. playful. perfect
It'll. men and women. should go on
and on 20 the doom that all too few
OF them can escape unless Detroit
10 freed from i1 one over shadow.
ing mepaco--the lawless saloon.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

the mouth q oven healthy humans
II the abiding place Of germs.
You can make satisfactory test
of the milk By sprinhling q tsw
drops on the inner surface OF the
wrist
When feeding don't coar the baby
TO take moro than Il wants. Hold
the bottle yourself throughout the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
A BATTLE OF SEARCHLIGHTS

II IL tina NTH day OF the Austrian ofiensivA
The night II clear and mild. moon, full rcd,
spreads out. and a blackened mountain mase
dominates the valley. II Is the stronghold q
tho enemy.
THE eye OF the Austrlans," a young officer
breaks forth, faring with great Intensity on the
italian positions lower down. Immediately an
italian light endeavors 10 shine directly In the
path OF the Austrian light and blind its rays.
Another Austrian light darts forth from across
the valley. Promptly italian searchlight
gives battle Thus for more than hour the
opposing searchlights endeavor TO intercept one
another. Tonight the Austrians are the of.
fenBive. Their lights sweep the billcrests, pur.
sued by italian rays.-London Times.
Tho navigation school Of the Royal Technical
college At Glasgow In said TO be- the most Per.
fectly equipped institution OF its kind n Ne
world.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
He Old, Old Struggle
~ We Know So Well Is
"a the Matter In Ireland

~ - - question 10 again looming largo on
1DqAo horison.
~ JIo1s n her direst need. she must be con.
n00oe1 q the deep seated conviction OF the
Docroe ~ Ireland that she has proven herself
- Deoeooeor of the Emerald Isle.
1NN0o a otherwise, the present situation would
1ool ~ 1l6srencss and Join the Irish 20 them
- - yatriotio whole.
81 ~ UD4w Easement with the poetic ideansm
- CT I'D his little raid and came TO grief.
~ heD>eooo from the nxst and friends Of
Uor Uol1lol ~ thst he brain has hesu
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
The Old Gardener Says

When an abundance OF water
n not available In the garden II
Is good plan 20 mulch rose
bushes, shrups. perennial piants.
and some vegctr lles with loose
litter from the stable or the poul.
try house or with grass clip
pings. RI they are 10 be readily
obtained. tobacco stems may be
Used for mulch. and win help
In keeping insect posts away.
These tobacco stems are especi-
ally good for mulchlng sweet
peas, and may be woven into the
wire supports TO Danish aphis.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

fore others
should Be az
tremeiy careful.
In testing the
tom pc nature Of
the MIX In ba6y's
tottis DO not pat
the nipple tn your
own mouth. for
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
EH Looks From Here As If
They Arrested the Wrong
Men For That Explosion!

"a The charge Of manslaughter has been
s1nnde In New York against Albert NJ.
DleIman. agent for the Lehigh Valley
nilFOad; Theodore B. Johnson, president
~ the johnson Ligher Lighterage &
6oWfng Co., and Alexander Davidson, su-
intendent Of the National Storage
npany.
They are accused of having permitted
plosives to be stored where human
lwo9 were endangered
e HI action on the part of New York
~ followed the blowing up in New
~ harbor Of war munitions for Me
H., close enough to the city to break
$500 window in the pedestal of the
nkns Of Liberty, and with force enough
15pW the main door, made of iron and
hing ton, of its hinges.
~ mir was full of shrapnel and the
n &or was a. dangerous as battlefield
!; ~ nzany hourA
When these lines were written, there
1870 three known dead, rs missing and
316 injured and probable dead.
The property loss had been fixed at
otueen SIS. DOC, 900 and 100000
The ammunition was on barges,
6ceked in defiance of law.
None Of those charged with the re-
1ponsibiity for its presence close enough
to New York to blow the city up will go to
I'M, because the old game of blaming it
~ the other fellow is already being re-
1pfted to by those for whom warrants
WeEe sworn out.
Prosecuting will not bring back the
&ead, nor restore those who were injured
- soundness.
II looks from here as if the blame
really rested with those officials whose
duty it is to watch the harbor.
II Is incredible that great loads Of ex-
p1osives could have been where they
were without the knowledge of such Of
Acials.
To prosecute now and to search the
harbor for other ships loaded with deadly
Explosives is locking the barn doors after
the horse has been stolen.
We are too much given to that sort of
thing in our government.
We always permit the long chance.
end when some great calamity befals,
TNo look astounded, when, as a matter of
net we shouldn't be astounded at all
This catastrophe in New York's har-
I III was to have been expected.
E That all Of New York and the other
$offios around are not in ruins today is
- to . big piece of luck.
HOW ARE WE GETTING ON IN
}pUEROTT WITH THE WORK OF
F0nADE SEPARATION?
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
Let the People
Rule-and Write
Good for the Nerve.

Good for the Nerve.
TO the Editor or The Times:
am glad TO sec the stand you
are taking against preparedness
and whbky. II strengthens my
nerve. too. Go on and fight against
them
TTIrLIP PETERS.
Pennington, Mich. July so, 1916.
Springfield. Mass, will be the
meeting place today OF the annual
convention q the National Society
of Organists.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
We Hold a Brief for Can
didate Charles E. Hughes

accept.
\ It is imperative that certain things
h done.
Why give the Democracy new con-
tract
When the G.. o. p. is available after a
nice long rest?
! thank you.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
OwnersInlp

Father. who owns these parks -
asked boy
We 90. my son. replied the boy
parent; we. the people. AS a part
OF the people. James. we have a
right 20 consider ourselves the own
ers. II ia glorious feature OF our
form OF government. my boy" he
continued. HE eyes klndling. tina,
the people are absolute. All prop
erty rights are based on their con
sent All titles thus come from
them. and will finally revert 20
them. The will OF the people In the
supreme law"
Hello. there" shouted the park
policeman. get on that grass, or I'll
run ye In"
OnAhaif shA World woushiDn the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
from Another Point OF TIeD
By c. T. S.

A one-legged man, pursued by the po-
lice, was found by them at the top of a
telegraph pole. The question is, just
how much farther up would this man
have been able to get if he had two legs?
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

Thousands OF members OF the
Knights Of PythlaS will assemble to
day At Portland, Ore. for the open
ing Of the annual meeting Of the
supreme council OF the order.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
Out for a Constitutional

From the liner page:
LOST-Cameo pin. walking from d. A. c.
Madison to Woodward street car TO Mar
tin place, 10 Harper hospital. car to For
est. car TO Greenwood; generous reward
for return 10 --
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

Work in every hour, paid or un.
paid. see only that thou work. and
thou canSt not escape the reward:
whether thy work be flne or coarse,
planting corn, or writing spics, so
only II be honest work. done to thine
own appreciation. IL shall earn a re
ward 10 the senses as we'll an TO the
thought; no matter how often de
feated, you are born to victory -
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
HARDEN's SHAFT AT GERMANY

Germany r. responsible for the war. She
should have helped Lord HaldaDe and como TO
an agreement with England
The chancellor r. unreasonable 10 expect The
Allies 20 make peace based on the situation on
the map" They will not DO that until convinced
that their cause is lost, and such moment can
not be foreseen.
AL the beiligerents must agree 20 an oryani,.
cd peace. guaranteeing absolute sovereignty 20
every one, with an international agreement on
military questions and the establishmsnt OF 40
International tribunal with the power 10 make
unruy nations respect It's decisions Let Ger
many beware n she disoountenances such A go
Observation-Disclosures Harden In Berlin Zukunft
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

The Chinese parliamen. has been
summoned TO meet to-day 10 adopt a
permanent esvstituuon for China.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

Denmark In patches OF 200 20 help make up
the shortage OF labor on English farms
The feature Of q coilapsibls hair brush for
travellers ID thst the bristles are laid down Sat
90 the handle and are thu kept n shapA
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

There r. danger on svory sids Of
baby during Ne bot ssAson- There
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01
MIND AND BODY

n. AooINoToN
Author Of
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-08-01

Onehaif the world wmships the
other half because II has money.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
BORDER TROOPS MANEUVER
THEoRETIc INVASION OF UNITED
STATES BEGINS.
"White" and "Brown" Armies to Have
Two Weeks Campaign Near
Brownsville.

Brownsville, Tex. - The brown"
army theoretically representing
a foreign power intervening in Mex
leo, and theoretically having in
vaded the United States at Point
Isabel and marched thence to Browns
vile, departed toward San Bernito,
IS miles north of here. There an ad-
vance brigade of the defending
white" army, commanded by Col. r.
L. Bullard, awaits the advance. 1t
took the brown" troops four hours
OF steady marching to clear Browns
vile. They camped eight miles north
OF here last night, and renewed their
advance on the white" brigade this
morning.
A white" division Is still in camp
at Llano Grande, &c miles back Of it's
advance brigade, but is supposed now
to be moving toward the southeast.
The weather was fine for the start of
the maneuvers, in which the 10000
guardsmen and regulars in the
Brownsville district are participating.
The brown" army, all of which is
stationed near Brownsville, probably
will be in command of Brigadier Gen
eral H. A. Allen of the Iowa brigade,
and besides the regular troops will
include infantry, cavalry and artillery
from Virginia, New Hampshire, Colo
RADIO, Louisiana and Texas.
The white" army probably will be
in command of Brigadier General E.
N. Lewis of the first Minnesota brig
ade infantry, and will include, in ad-
dition to regulars, militia from Min
nesota, Indiana, North Dekota, Okla
homa, South Dakota, Kansas, Louisi-
ana, Nebraska.
All rules of warfare will be OBJ
served. Movements of armies are not
to be disclosed except as the soldiers
desire. Towns are to be captured"
and manufacturing plants of various
kinds seized" In the fighting" area
is the town of Point Isabel, with its
United States radio station, which is
valued at 100000.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
CLASH FORECAST
ON ADAMSON LAW
LEADERS OF WEALTH ORGANIZE
TO FIGHT EIGHT-HouR
DAY.
ADMINISTRATION FOR WORKER
Bfotherhoods Seek to Extend Statute
to Include All Glasses Of Labor
Lines viii Ask a Stay Of
Thirty Days.

New York City.--A nationwide
struggle between employees and or
ganized wage-earners over the eight.
hour day is impending,
An alliance is being effected be-
tween the four railway brotherhoods
and the American Federation of La
Dor to gain an eight-hour day for all
classes of employees.
The other side announces the es-
Conference Board The membership
OF this board includes twelve national
associations of industrial employers,
comprising more than $4,000 officials,
who furnish employment to about e
100000 workers. Approximately 49,
00,000,000 of capital is said to be rep
resented.
From Washington came the report
that the administration is prepared
TO start an aggressive fight in behalf
OF the Adamson wage law. Defensive
tactics, confined solely to arguing the
constitutionality of the law, will not
be the only resort of the government.
The attack by the railroads against
the constitutionality of the Adamson
law, providing an eight-hour working
day for trainmen, is only one phase
of this far-spread struggle. The fight
against the Adamson law threatens to
be carried again to Washington.
Brotherhood leaders who will testify
next week before the Newlands COM
mission will appeal directly to Presi-
dent Wilson for assurance that the
Adamson law will be put in operation
January /.
The commission appointed by Presi-
don't Wilson to investigate the opera
ton of the Adamson act met here
for its first informal session in the
rooms of the interstate commerce
commission. The commission is COM
posed of Maj. Gen. George W. Goeth-
ais, George Rublee and Edward z.
Clark.
Samuel Gompers, commenting on
the Injunction suits, declared in Balti-
more that the eight-hour law would
go into effect injunction or no in
junction"
The railroads are understood to be
preparing to ask Attorney General
ter January 1, pending the outcome OF
ter aJnuary =, pending the outcome OF
the suits now filed.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
NO TROUBLE OVER U-BOATS
Senator Stone Says Controversy Can
Be Settled satisfactorily to
Both Sides.

Washington. - Senator William J.
Stone of Missouri, chairman of the
senate foreign relations commit
tee, expresses belief that the Unit
ed States and German governments
will reach a satisfactory agreement re-
garding recent activities of German
U-boats.
1T appears to be the same old con-
troversy," said the senator, land
believe it can be settled with satisfac.
ton to both sides. The American
people are not seeking war. They are
not afraid to fight anybody. But if
l read the sentiment among the peo,
pie Alright, they are DESTROYS of deal.
ing kindly with the much-harassed
nations now engaged in war"
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
"SUFFRAGE" SCHOOL OPENED
Public Speaking, History and
Legislative Work.

} Baltimore, Md. - This is the
"first week of school" for the sui,
tfragists from many parts of the Unit
ed States attending the suffrage
school opened here under the auspices
OF the National American Woman
Suffrage Association.
Glasses in political organization,
public speaking, suffrage history and
argument, legislative and federal
work, and press and publicity now-are
In full swing and the ardent pupils
arc deep in the lessons of suffrage
campaigning.
Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait, presi.
dent of the National Association, will
arrive to give lectures Friday and Sat.
urday on organization, legislative and
federal work, and will address a large
public meeting tonight. The school
will close ON Saturday.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
CAUSES CHANGES IN LAWS
SOLDIER KILLS WIFE FOUND
WITH "SLACkER"
Official Scrutiny of "stay-at-Homes"
Follows Tragedy, With Much
Change Contemplated.

London.-The domestic tragedy Of
Lance Corporal Richard Cunningham
has centered official scrutiny on a
NV phase of the "slacker's" character
Cunningham is charged with strang-
ling his wife, whom he had accused
of infidelity while he was on the
western front.
The accused soldier wrote to the
London chief constable beseeching
the officer to save his home and voic-
ing a soldiers hatred of the type of
Stacker who had betrayed him.
81 write you from the trenches of
France" said the letter, ito ask why
this type of man is not doing his bit.
Several times lately l have received
reports of a man visiting my home
and sometimes staying all night while
1 am here at the front in answer to
my country's call.
at is shameful such men should be
left at home while we are out here
month after month in rain and mud,
taking our turns under fire, that Eng.
land may be safe. Why hasn't this
man been called for service?"
But unless the corporal can defeat
tho cold evidence against him the
stern English law will exact full pen
atty. Cunningham, it appears, got
leave, went direct to him home, con-
fronted his wife with his suspicious
and strangled her to death. He was
found in a swoon across his Wife's
body, the baby son toddling about,
cooling with happiness over his faith
er's return,
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
FIVE REGIMENTS RECALLED
Plan Is to Withdraw Guardsmen
Granddaughter. Funston Rec
ommends Scheme.

Washington.-Five national guard
regiments were ordered home from
the Mexican border. They are the
First Regiment of South Carolina,
Seventh New York, Third Indiana,
Third Wisconsin and Third Mime
sofa.
In a statement announcing the or
der, the war department said it was
in continuation of the policy San
nounced some time ago to gradually
withdraw national guard regiments
from the border as conditions permit
and, in accordance with the recon-
mendation of Gen. Funston, these
regiments have been ordered home"
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
PolltA Doubt.

A fond parent was telling oliver
Herford of the really bright remark
of her three-year-old daughter.
Herford was much impressed.
GLOW old did you say little Lena isf'
he asked.
"Only three" answered the mother
proudly.
do you know" said the humorist,
solemnly, II have n suspicion that
sometimes these children lie about
their ageY'-McClure's Magazine.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23

-
Compound made her well, SO took it and
now am just as well as ever was. I
cannot understand why women don't
see how much pain and suffering they
would escape by taking your medicine.
] cannot praise it enough for 1t saved
my life and kept me from the Insane
Hospital. Mrs. E. SHELDON, 5657 s.
Halsted ST., Englewood, I'll.
Physicians undoubtedly did their best,
battled with this case steadily and could
do no more, but often the most scientific
treatment is surpassed by the medicinal
properties Of the good old fashioned
roots and herbs contained in Lydia E.
Pinkhsm's Vegetable Compound.
III any complication exists 10
pays to write tho Lydia e. PinlSe
ham Medicine Co., Lynn, MaSs.,l
for special free advice,
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
GARDNER LEADING
LAMM 1900 VOTES
VOTE BY COUNTIES SHOWS ST
LOUIS MAN SOMEWHAT
OUT IN FRONT.
GORDON MAY SQUEEZE IN TOO
Corrections and Additions Of Missing
Precincts May Result in Election
Of Entire Democratic
Ticket.
jefferson City.

With returns in from every county
and st. Louis City complete and
verified from 81 counties, Col. Fred
d. Gardner leads Henry Lamm In the
gubernatorial race by 1919 votes.
And from Jefferson City comes the
prediction of Secretary of State
Roach that official returns will show
that State Auditor John p. Gordon
has been reelected Roach's theory
is that il the remainder of the state
ticket is elected by pluralities in ex-
cess of $1,000 Gordon will squeeze in
by a plurality Of less than 1000.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
His Dearest Wish.

An Idaho man tells Of an unusual
response made by the accused to a
question very usual in the circum-
stances.
prisoner at the bar" said the judge,
"is there anything you'd like to say
before sentence Is passed upon your
Whereupon the prisoner looked to-
ward the door and remarked pleasant
ly: "If 1t is agreeable to the COM
pany, should like to say good eve
Ming"
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
wanders Into War.

Cleveland, Ohio.-Robert Hastings,
suffering from amnesia, wandered
from his home. He found his mem
ory and himself fighting in France.
letter from the Somme said.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
Prefers Death to Bath.

Chicago.-Ordered by his landlady
to take a bath, something he had not
done in seven years, Jacob Micheler.
"a, shot himself through the head
rather than comply. His condition Is
serious.
Mexico Missouri message., 1916-11-23
Tries to Die, Arrested,

New York.-Cosmo Penniz, despon-
dent from lack of employment,
plunged under an eight-car train ON
the Long Island Railroad. Two cars
passed over him, the train stopped
and Penniz emerged unmarked. He
was arrested.