The broad ax., 1916-10-07
! FINNEeAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
On The Msrry-Go- Round.

++$@f@++F*FF+T+++TTTTTF~TT
Faith an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
1t, for It was agin the constychooshun-
Now that he Is for II, that immortal
Instrument has also changed Its
mind. He makes me head shwim-
"But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dtmycrats'
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfsts
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're a good man.
but We make me dizzy" says Bryan.
leppin' from the Hobby-Horse and rum
MIN for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
THROWN him a Cocked-Hat iv the vim
tage Of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL" says CARR
son. How does 1t suitT he axes.
Fine says Wudthrow. 'barrin' a
few changes. Yell redraw it. he
says, to provide says he, voluntary
universal service in a Federal Mi
Ilishy,' says he, controlled be the
states says he; an recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. 1t
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe both, he
says; an the ammynition,' says he
! must be nayther too much, nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay, be-
fore I decide the daytales, for It's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind, says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me or,
says Garrison. Are ye crazy or am
II Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye,' says wudthrow. I've a near-real
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry
go-Round plays side step.
"'Fwhat iv the Navy says Kitchin.
Tt shud be thur'y adequate tvry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and in st. Louey,
where 1t shud be the biggest in the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he. so
here's the Dimycrat bill ye'n pass.
says he.
"But this same is the Raypubli-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin'. Yell
go an pass it. says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk 'Hooray.' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
! dream says Kitchin. IF I liver
drank. I'd t'tink l was boozed,' says
Kitchin In a thremblin' vice. And he
falls OF.
allow about the Army BILL axes
Hay.
Through an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
eye.
"T have here bill says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase " five hundther
men a year for twinty year. he says;
an amynishun for six hours acksun,'
he says; twill make US safe from
madagascar, measles. muckrakin'
milit-rism and marital infidility,' he
says, AN We'll catch Willy before he
him. says Hay.
embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay sfther all preparedness is a
matter iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give ye
a jobr he axes, stoppin' short like.
-'Divil q wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both "
Hays hands cordial like. for yer patri-
otic service In so bravely sipportin'
me policies he says, In all their
phrases he says; I make a judge iv
ye'he,' says he, as well as yer frind
that ye put In the JOKER says the
Prisidint 'Howly Saints says the
preparation S'nitors.
"'Ph-what does this mean at all at
allr they axes. I've the wan thrack
mind says the Presidint, AN We go
all through me train " thought before
We come to the pork car says he.
Are ye onP axes the Apostle iv Com
mon Counsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors, fall
ing OF. An the Merry-go-round plays
Wilson Waltz (which ye know, Jawn,
Is wan step forward, two steps back,
hesitate ands. sidestep). An Tumulty
goes out to spread the glad tidin's that
the preparation p'rade will be led be
the Presidint in person.
Malumphy.
"'Wid his mouth responded Finne-
gan dryly.