Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1916-10-26
FINNECAN'S PHIL SOPHY
~
PItIiess Publicity.
VWUeUo TuUUVIVs

II see Mr.. Hughes wud like to know
fwhat's to come to 'Pitiless Publicity
Meself could tell him. Where's "Piti-
less Publicity"? says Hughes. In the
Ash Cam. says I. twas all right on
the stump. but In Washin'ton It's
differ. The Harp that wanst through
Trenton's halls'-I name Tumulty.
Whin he bursts into song now he picks
his chunel
"Tis not that Prisidlnt Wilson 10
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pitiless. IT'S like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
TIL illyfant, but he has mintal res'va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 1t Is wild Wilson. He's sof'ned
the hard heart Nv 'Pitiless Publicity.
How about the POstmastersT axes
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell ye'
says the Cmishun. For whyT says
the League. T'wid embar'ss tn Ad-
ministhrashun.' says the C'mishun.
And the people laughs. 'Ye fred TIL
Hid Nv the Cinsus. says Hughes. 'Ye
lie, says RedHeld. He raysined wild
out bein' axed,' says he. 'Ye lie yer
SELF says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an We gev me place to a
politician. says Durand. 'lxac'ly fwhat
| said.' yells Pink Whiskers, I was
goin' to fire We anyway. but niver
axed ye to raysine.' says Pinky. An
the people roars.
"'Tell us about all thin Dishurvin
Dimmycrats.' says the people. An
WashIn'ton IL sweep be storm Nv
silence.
But doan't We think there's no pub
licity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers. but he cud
be quiet, too.
"'We'll grab some land In vinzu-
eely,' says the Ambassydure.
'tem'prIly.' says he. Yen not says
Teddy. ven agree to arbitrate.' says
he, or he says. In tin days Dewey'll
be there says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
sint,' says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, I'll sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin,' Teddy says. How'd
'em.' says the Ambassydure. we
agree says he.-an' divil bit did We
know how It was for dozen year.
''Well have Ferdy Carey alive, or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says On demand Nv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
slow Is It now? The greasers
slaughtered twinty at Sanity Isabel. An
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines. 'Twinty Americans killed. they
says. The Prisidint Calm says they.
'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays Goluf,'
says the headlines. An the paper
goes on:
1.-THE Prisldint's appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader " the ma
shun gettin' outside w. grape fruit.
bacon an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin Docther GraysOn announced the
bill Nv fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
"'The Prisidint Is solvin' In privacy
the fateful question. Twill me throat
last?" The answer Is waited wild few
erish anxiety
"Mondah. the papers says 'Nashun-
al Disaster? Sore Throat Feared, Pan
ic at the Capital. The Prisidint Calm.
CONSERVATION was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisidint awoke with sore throat.
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There Is
talk iv appintin' day Nv prayer. 1t
Is hoped that Senior Are though
will claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ixicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but wan remark:
CAV they'd not been there they'd not
Nv been kilt"
"Choosdah, they says, Hope revives.
No sore throat Bitten by insect.
Prisidint calm. All Phrases Nv Mat
ther to be considered.
"'The anxiety in the Capital was re-
laved today be the followin' bulletin:
"'"The Prisidint has slight per-
foraton In the cuticls over the infery-
ure maximary caused by insect btip'
him whin asleep. The patient was too
proud to scratch. (Signed) GraysOn."
at Is reported also that Gineral
Scott will go to the border to bury the
dead, and apologize to the Insurgents.
He will axe Carrunzy, whether he wud
accept a loan II offered. This Is con-
sidered the thrue sutton iv the diff
Guilty
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in. Thursdah he writes note and
Gineral Scott starts for the border.
Frdah the headlines says Peace In
Europe near. Prisidint studyn' terms.
VIII he stop the WARP Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
"But we're comforted be bein' towld
the Prisidint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah, he's cOnsiderin' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he ad-
vises GrandmOthers about suckin'
eggs. And another crisis IL past.
$50 It goes ivry day. As | was say
in. there's a'plenty publicity, but It's
not the brand Nv 1912"
Evidently Mr., Wilson has made up