The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-12-20
A KING CAN
HELP HIMSELF
By M. QUAD
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1916, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

His royal nibs of Persia, finding
that his treasury was empty again
and that a prima donna would soon
visit his capital to sing for him and
would expect sunburst as big as
dinner plate, called Murphy. his royal
treasurer, to him and said:
Murphy. thus far you have been
fat failure. Your suggestions about
how to raise money have not been
worth peanut shucks."
"Your highness, can a man make
money out of nothing at all?" replied
Murphy. when l came here you had
a full treasury; you had horses and
carriages; you had few diamonds
left. Where have they gone? Excuse
my plain speech, but you have vast
ed them in spite of all / could do.
If they are gone, is it my fault?"
"Of course it is your fault" said the
king. 1T was your business as treas
urer to keep my Golfers supplied as
fast as l emptied them. l am king
and must live as king, and my treas
urer must be constantly planning new
ways to uphold my dignity. AS
king who is almost dead broke can
have dignity? You know l can't. You
don't seem to care red cent whether
l am Inundated or not"
but / do care, o king. l care so
much and have planned so much that
my head is buzzing all the time. Just
now 1t would be relief to part with
it."
"But l rather like you, after all, Mr..
Murphy, and shall let you keep your
head on your shoulders for awhile
and try to teach you something about
finance 1t is true that l spend large
sums Of money and that l have the
reputation Of being a waster. but l
know how to financier and get the
rhino back. For instance, bring hither
poker deck"
Murphy disappeared for two min
utes and then came back, bringing a
pack of cards and face that showed
detection and despair. He had had
that trick worked on him before, and
it was coming again.
Nov, then, Murphy, l owe you
about $1,000 back salary, don't ~
asked the king.
"It's all Of that, your majesty" was
the reply.
4 "Well, I'll give you a chance to win
some more. Cut for deal. take the
first deal. How many cards do you
want?"
None, o king"
"Ah-ah! You have got a pat hand
eh? Well, what is your bet?"
Murphy replied that he would &C
$40, and when the king saw him and
raised him $40 more he had to keep
it up. It finally came to a showdown
with $500 in the pot, and the king
showed straight, while Murphy show.
ed flush.
II take the potr exclaimed the king
"Not on that hand, your majesty.
have flush here, and flush beats a
straight every time"
ut used to, but changed it some
time ago. Mr. Murphy. don't look SC
amazed
snow, then, have got q scheme to
work. You ought to have thought OF
1t long ago, but haven't enough wit to-
I want you to issue royal edict that
on next Sunday evening all my sub
jects who can gather here will witness
strange phenomenon. At the time the
, moon rises second moon will rise
also and there will be two moons in
plain sight at one and the same time"
"But how can you make a second
moon?" asked Murphy.
Il can't" replied the king.
Then the people who come to see /,
will call you faker, won't they?"
They may call me anything they
feel like, but they will have to pay
cash for It. MY little scheme Is like
this: The next day after the moonlight
excursion I will notify all who wer,
here to let It be known whether they
saw one moon or two. They will be di
vided. While all will have seen only
, one moon, part of them to flatter m,
will claim to have seen two"
"You are right there, o king" ad
i mitted Murphy.
+ "And l shall be right about othel
8 things, my old has been. l want yo,
Q to see about bottling up about 500,
bottles of clear water and labelin.
each bottle Kings Eyewater.' will
proclaim to those who didn't see bu
! one moon that something is wron,
with their eyes and that they must us
this eye water. The price will be s.
per bottle. will also proclaim f
those who say they saw two moon
that something is also wrong witt
their eyes. and they must buy a bottl
and pay the same price. Now. Their
: can you see the point after hav
thrown It at your"
by George, but it is greatr' e,
claimed Murphy.
well, not so very great, but IL wi
\ dot will do" said the king. "If
I don't bring in at least $4,000 then
will admit that don't rule the sur
the moon. the stars and the seven sea,
Now, Murphy, we will have anotbe