The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-06-17

"HERE is one person who need never fear contradiction and that is the A one who asserts that getting up in tbe morning is an invention of the evil one.
 As far as I can think, just at present. | the only normal beings who actually enjoy getting up in the mornings are babies bless their hearts, and 1t IS the private opinion of some few that even in the case of infants, their activlties are ectuated not so much from virtuous desire to be up and doing, as from sln- ful longing to make other people mlser- able.
 A baby having "bawled" lustily until some wretched wight rouses sleepily up anc stumbles half unseeing in search Of it's bath while someone else equally luckless, runs and warns it's little gar ments before the fire, and third pre- pares it's milk bottle, having stirred up all this commotion, is perfectly content to cuddle down, stick it's little rosepud thumb into it's little rose leaf mouth and sleep the sleep of innocence-or is it satisfied iniquity?
 Meanwhile, the rest of the world gets up when it gets up, and there is no re- turn to the luxury of pillows and the yielding of the soft springy comfy down mattress
 I honestly believe that there is not only a cty-wide, but nationwide con spiracy in which the Macbeths-Lord and Lady-are the ringleaders-to ruthlessly murder sleep at precisely the hour when slumber is most desirable.
 l know woman who says that never
 in her life has she been allowed to sleep late in the morning; as a girl, she was required to get up to breakfast, old-fash- toned 730 breakfast; as a married woman she had to get up and attend to her household duties, and start things off right for the day; as widow she has had to work. consequently she must arise with the dawn and she feels perfectly sure that if ever she has the good for tune to inherit money and could sleep, she'd die and the first night she spent in her grave would be a. nightmare, for she feels morally sure that angel Gabriel knowing she had a chance at last to sleep, would blow his resurrection horn the very next morning before daylight.
 Have you ever noticed it matters not how perfectly managed a hotel is-that there is never a chance to sleep in the mornings?
 Bellhops, chambermaids errand boys. scrub women all start their maneuver-
 ngs before the crack of dawn and you hear keys dangling, ice cracking in pitchers, (some old bum probably with a leftover jag from the night before or dering it and a thousand and one other disturbing annoyances, anything just to keep you from sleeping.
 Do you recall the famous French woman, Mile. LecauX, who, with a Ma poleonic will, calculated to achieve re- mained in bed 55 years? She expired in the village of Nouvoin at the ripe old age of 75 years.
 Fiftyfive years before she had gone to bed; not that anything was the mat ter with her, but she just hated to get up and declaring her intention or re- maining in bed she valiantly kept her word.
 Early riser. take notice: Think what it would be to be able to sleep in the morn ing remain in bed ,55 years if you chose, and escape from the awful reflection:
 If I could only stay in a bed a min ute longer"
 Compare that woman waited heaven ward literally "on flowery beds of ease" while the rest of poor human kind is routed out of bed betimes Ito feed the chickens" or get up the clothes" or hurry down to breakfast or something equally silly that could ca silly wait an- other hour.
 but one which gains in tragedy with