West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1916-04-20
Old Hickory Chips

\ cannibal is known by the com.
pany he eats.
A lazy man is a dead one who can't
be buried
Not only does Vordun get ON the
map but 1t persists in staying there.
+
Many OF the married women of Eng
land never knew how much their hus-
bands loved them until this compul-
sorry military service plan came
along
In the meantime the country should
not forget that it's moral and intollec-
tual resources are and have always
been it's principal asset.
=
There are some people so sympa-
theuc that they can weep when some.
bodys submarine sinks somebody
else's destroyer.
Il
Sugar is steadily going up in price.
so that the world presently may have
to take ils adversely unswoetened.
Amt II awful Mable?
+
France is beginning to figure how
1t can win back the great American
tourist I'm big rush as soon as the
shooting ceases.
+
Mexican poems are said to prefer
war TO peace. but they have never
known the superior brands OF peace.
+
President Wilson Is engaged I'm
hghting not only bandit villa. but also
the American annexation bandits who
are the ones who instigated and paid
poor delHded villa
+
Uncle Sam is getting into frame
OF mind to accept no substitute for ma
tional preparedness.
+
Old Salt Won Tirpitz appears to have
been dropped by the Kaiser because
he got too fresh.
Il
A woman's mind is nearly always
on dress which may explain the fire.
quent changes of both of them.
f
II seems to be a hopeless undertake
ing. building up navy that will
please all the yellow editors.
+
Politicians and newspapers that de-
sire American Intervention I'm Mexi-
co. are trying the power of suggestion
in their Efforts to bring about a clash
between the United States troops and
Carranza's
f
Sir Ernest Shackelton should hasten
back to the south pole and the improv-
Ing society OF the peaceful penguin
before civilization takes him and
blows him into unpleasant fragments
+
Doubtless the poetess who apostro-
priced the bath and the bathroom
would have written about the old
swimming hole II her opportunities
had been less limited
+
II is always to the interest of the
stock market gambler to start rumors
of peace in war time, and OF war I'm
peace time. He profits by either
panic
War has put 1000 ships of 900. 900
Tonnage out Of business, and opportun
ity to provide Itself with a merchant
marine is loudly knocking at Amer
ica's door.
The millionaire who dresses as well
as his clerks is more or less eccentric
f.
II is as easy for you to please ev-
erybody as it IS for everybody to
please you
Fairbanks Presidential boom is said
to be growing steadily like an icicle
but wait for the sprins thaw.
H.
In saying that Texas rs likely 10
Join the Republican ranks next year.
William @ Thon qualities as one OF
the nations most daring humorlsts.
t.
Investigation has shown that there
is smaller number Of bacteria I'm
New oYrk's subway air than I'm the
outside atmosphere Presumably the
bacteria are crowded out by passen-
gers
II one were peraonaily o. conduct
war one would prefer such a cam
paign as Portugal is conducting which
Sc perhaps the only bloodloss war ln
history
T.
Uncle Sam is now. by the logic OF
events the policeman Of the world
and he has not a sufficient force TO
police half his own hemisphere.
Somebody's armada is likely io come
10 grief in the North sea one ot these
days