Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-09-20
BINGVILLE CORRESPONDENCE.

Hymenas Doty was married again
last week. His wife has been dead
only six weeks to a day. Hymenas
married Miss Simpson, the milliner.
We hope their welded life will be as
happy as their courtship was short.
Alonzo Wise got into an argument
over politics with Mike Morgan last
Saturday and things got so heated
that Mike called Alonzo bad name.
Alonzo, who is short and fat, hauled
off with his right and knocked Mike
through Gus Atwood's plate glass
window. Mike, who weighs about 200
lbs, was cut up considerable and did
not feel like continuing the controver-
sary. Mr.. Atwood wants to know who
is going to pay for the window. AL
says he amt to blame as Mike had
no business calling him names, and
Mike amt got any money. The mat
ter may go to court
A lot OF gypsy horse traders was in
town last week and Solomon Parmele
who is a kind of wise guy, bought
a mare that he thought was a bar
ribbons in her name and forelock
and capered around like a thorough
bred. Solomon paid one hundred dol
lars for her and said he had bargain.
He took the mare home and put her
in the stall and the next morning he
went out there and found her lying
dead. Solomon went down to the gyp-
sy camp, but they was gone over in
Sarpy county and he took after them
He took the sheriff along and they
traced them, but the gypsies was too
smart for them and had jumped the
river into IoWay. They give Solomon
and the sheriff, Mr. Howells, the laff
and said that Sol ought to know
little more about horses and that he
had given the mare the wrong feed
or she would not have died. This cut
Sol to the quick, as he thinks he
knows all about horses. He come
home and everybody is laughing at
him. Look before you leap, the next
time, Sol
Mary MCGEE won first prize at the
maskerade ball last Saturday night.
Mary was agoin' in her new bathing
suit, but her ma put her foot down
and sed mo" So Mary went dressed
as butterfly and won first anyhow.
When Mary was coming down the st.
after the dance old Israel Turner who
was out on one Of his periodical sprees,.
saw Mary's wings and thought she
was the Angel of the Lord coming to
punish him for his sins. Old Israel
ran all the way home and was clean
sober after he got there He swears
by all that is holy that he saw the
Angel of the Lord and that he will
never got drunk again. Mrs. Turner
hopes SO too.
Miss Abigail Ritchey, who writes
obituaries, wishes to announces that
hereafter she will charge for poetry.
Miss Abigail says that her poetry is
born out of much mental struggle
and that she cannot and will not
throw her gems of thought onto the
world unless she gets so much per
thought Mr.. Fellows, the editor, says
that he hopes Miss Abigail will charge
a dollar line.
Felicia Wilkins, who gets up our
home talent plays, has written a reg
ular four act drama entitled after
the Storm" Miss Felicia gave a pri-
vate reading the other night and
everybody said they had never heard
anything like in all their lives. We all
advised Miss Felicia to send it to Bel
asco or w. A. Brady Miss Felicia an
ticipates personal trip to New York
with her play. 1t is certainly awful
solemn and grand.
Grandma LaWlOr, who is 80 years
old and was SO sick last spring that
they did not think she would live, went
riding the other day with her son
Andrew in his new touring car. Grand
ma liked it so we'll that she says she
is agoin' to get car herself and run
it. She has got the money and al
though Andrew and his wife tried to
persuade her not to she says she is
agoin' to anyhow. Go ahead, Grand
ma, and if you need a shooter call
on yours truly
Hector Magoon.