The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
Dolly Hears Mrs. Caudle, Jr., Deliver
Some Very Pointed Curtain Lectures
(MR. CAUDLE GOES TO THE CIRCUS)

| M q II. me, Mr.. Caudle, how I wish
A\ but then what's the use of
q 81 Westinghouse at all. STILL l
do wish that yesterday 25 years ago could
come back again. Little did I think, Mr.,
me home from the church a blushing
young bride. your own lawfully welded
wife, to have and to hold, to love and
honor, that you'd ever be guilty of the
things that I've suffered at your hands
since
How well ] recall the way you looked;
tall, slender, handsome as Apollo, the
very pink of perfection as to dress, and
with a white rosebud in your coat, which
you said reminded you of me. What?
You never talked such nonsense? Mr..
Caudle. there never was such a goo-goo-
er in the world as yourself then L re-
member the things you said at the we'd
ding breakfast as you sat by my side at
table Your face actually buttered with
happiness. What's that you say? 1 have
wiped the butter off? How could you
say such things, Mr.. Caudle? If you,
above all men are not happy. you ought
to be, goodness knows
Whats all this about? You know very
well, Mr.. Caudle, when the circus came
to town yesterday you stood pat as you
have for a week beforehand telling me
that you had an engagement and couldn't
go in the afternoon and take me and the
children. Poor little tots! They were
crazy to 60 like all children, to see the
clowns and the animals. and so 1 had TO
take them. Every other woman of my
acquaintance had her husband with her.
and together the whole merry family en-
joyed the circus, while l. poor. wretched
soul, tagged along with eight strong with
no one to help me, no one to do anything
for mel And then to think of you phon-
ing last night that you were too busy
to get home to dinner and today hear
that you were at the circus in the evening
with the Tattle-tale. "Oh, Mr.. Caudle,
how could you; how could your?
Weren't there? Don't tell me that
Mr. Caudle. I know you were. l heard
that you were the most lSittenish thing
at the circus; that you drank more pink
lemonade and ate more peanuts than
anybody there! And such jovial soul
you were, too, with that mink of a rela-
tive, old Tattle-tale hanging on your
arm! oh, Mr.. Caudle she is just wait
ing to occupy my shoes and be a mother
to my children and treat them like rag
mullins. [ can't understand you, Mr.
Caudle; that's the thing that makes 1t
SO hard. man Of your age and family
take up with a mere chit of child like
that, and think she could care for you?
Why, she's making a pretty fool of you,
to be sure, Mr.. Caudle, and you haven't
sense enough to see It.
There's no use of your bouncing about
in bed like that because I'm going to talk
for once in my life, sir. Mol / shan't drive
you mad, Mr.. Caudle; If I do, it's your
own fault. No man would treat the
wife of his bosom-the mother of his
children-as you do. l do think at least
while I'm alive I might be treated with
some respect, Mr.. Caudle. say, while
I'm alive, for 1 know I can't last long
at this rate. I'm wasting daily and since
my experience yesterday at the circus
with eight children to look after I'm
a total wreck, while you galivanted off
last night with a gay party and left
me, instead of going with me in the after
noon as a dutiful husband should"
"Oh heard what you said, Mr..
Caudle, when somebody asked you what
excuse you had for being at the circus,
when they twitted you about not bring
ing any Of your babies with you You
turned to Tattle-tale's niece and said
you'd borrowed one for the occasion.
Now, isn't that pretty come-off, when
you are so well supplied with eight per-
fectly good excuses for being at the cir
cus?"
."I hope you looked at the animals
closely Mr.. Caudle; the lion and the
hypocrite. as the old darby called the