The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-01-15

By "Zeke"
By "Zeke"

A lot of people think all they will
have TO do to get into heaven is TO
show the gatekeeper their last twenty
years tax receipts.
Why is it that all the lunatics who
escape from institutions where they
are taken care of manage to do so clad
only in their night clothes?
A sucker can be induced to take the
hook by the exposure of alluring bait
but wise guy must be caught with
both eyes open and because he de-
sires to be caught.
For those who are interested in the
intimate household affairs of the exec
utiye family we win confide that she
calls him Woodrow" and he calls her
Edith
Contrary to the general confusion in
the use of the words. many man at
tends a free lecture that is not neces-
sarily complimentary.
One way to gain admission to one of
these affairs is to trump your wife's
king.
The Topeka divorce scandal was I'M
reference to the dirty dishes left stand
ing in the kitchen sink
4rlattery is being asked to take part
in a home talent shcw. -
This column hereby repudiates its
rule to accept everything that is free.
1t worked all right until some one
tried to give us parrot.
The prosecution of the peace party
DIV the S. P. C. A for letting the squir-
rel starve to death, will have hard
shedding against plea of self de-
Tense.
The abandon and ease with which
people sign petitions is only equaled
by the alacrity with which the sign
protests.
1t is now inappropriate to call them
sparrows From now till after st.
Patrick's day they are snow birds.
The ear muff continues to be worn
by a few old fashioned men whose
moderate circumstances forbid their
owning a fur cap.
When all his other reasons have
failed him, your colored friend bor-
rows money from you to get pack
age out of the express office.
How irksome it must be to George
Hayden to be sick with grip. George
pretends that he does not follow the
styles as other i eople do.
The grip is another one of those
things that though generally disliked,
is also generally INDUCED in.
Press reports show that two of our
well known citizens have enrolled in
the Come Back club. We refer to
Harry Thaw and General Coxey.
We do not know why the courts
have postponed the last act in our
matrimonial mellow drama, unless it
is to give the people in the home
towns of the contestants time to get
their breath.
The high school fraternity row does
not make any difference to us, but we
are somewhat preJudiced by the fact
that if our older brother had not
Joined frat at college, it is quite
likely we would never have owned
dress suit.
How do you suppose Peary and the
other fellows who were at the North
Pole with him get away with the story
that Santa Claus lives there? Any
way, the greater proportion of people
who are fooled by this pleasing myth
are those who think their children are
not on to it.
/ Men who indulge in the pastime are
now trying to convince their wives
4 that chewing tobacco is the only thing
that keeps them from having the
grippe.
The following quotation from vii
liam Allen Whites eulogy Kansas
7 in the American magazine calls fore
/ IDLY to ones attention the thought Of
/ how truly touching is the modesty o.
greatness.
4 One year she goes to the front ranI
in the production of wheat: another
( year she is the banner corn state: an
other year 6now listen) she contrib
utes considerably to the leadership o.
I the movement that overthrow and
permanently defeated the plutocratit
dynasty that held this country in il
grip at the beginning of the first de
cade of this century,
The eastern part of the countr!
! seems to be trying TO feel out the sit
uation with regard to returning ou1
old friend Teddy to the fold as bel
cow" We have not been east sine.
1899 but SO far as this part of tn.
country is concerned we predict tina
Teddy has no more show than a bow
legged girl has of getting married il
/ her home town.