Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1916-1918, 1916-10-06
Trying to Please Every,
body" BY Leah Battin


One day man and his son wer
driving donkey to the fair. The man
name was Mr.. Jones and his SON
| name was Rob Jones and their don
keys name was jim
| Now Jim was lazy old mule an
/ was afraid Of automobiles
He wouldn't hardly go at all when h
i was going anywhere besides home an
II he was going home he would nearl,
break his neck to get there.
\ Now this morning they were driving
him to little buggy and he was goinl
pretty slow when an auto came alone
Mr.. Jones picked up his lines so III,
could hold him. He gave one OF then
to Rob and he took the other He ant
would not go IL either Of them got in
would not go If eithe rof them got in
SO they stayed out.
Mr.. Jones was taking large squash
to the fair or he would have left jim
at home.
Well this auto is coming very fast sc
guess we will have to turn to it.
Well, just know. II there don't come
one of them automobiles" said Mr.
Jones'.
Yep, there comes one" said Rob.
Now. Rob. you take one Of these
lines, and I'll take the other" said Mr.
Jones.
All right, pa said Rob.
Hold tight" said Mr. Jones.
Rob held tight.
The auto whizzed by and Jim ran On
and like to tore up Jack
Pretty soon they got uR to the high
school and met a lot of girls.
One of them said Did you ever see
such fools?"
No. never did," said another, they
trudge on foot when they might ride.
Mr.. Jones and Rob were willing to do
anything to please SO Mr.. Jones put
Rob In the buggy and went on until
they came to group OF old men COM
ing along.
One of them said We'll l thought
there was respect to old age these days.
Look at that idle young rogue riding
and his poor old father walking"
They heard this and Rob got out and
Mr.. Jones got in.
Then they met company OF women
and children and several tongues were
going at once.
One woman said Look at that lazy
old man riding and his poor little boy
l would be ashamed of my
self If couldn't let my poor little boy
ride. That poor little fellow can hardly
keep up either"
So Mr.. Jones took Rob up behind him
and soon came up to store and the
He saw Mr.. Jones and Rob coming and
said does that donkey belong to you
sir?"
Yes sir. said Mr.. Jones
Yon shouldn't load him 80 heavily"
said the man. You two are more able
to carry the poor beast than he is to
carry you.'
WHO owns this donkey. me or you?'
said Mr.. Jones
"Oh. was just telling you not to
Dad him so heavy" said the store
Keeper.
Just then an Irishman came up to
He said "Hav yez got eny clean
shirts? p He noticed that the store keep
,r was real untidy and he thought he
would play a joke on him.
Sure" said the store keeper, very
anxious for SALE
Go and put one on them said the .
rishman.
Mr. Jones just laughed and laughed
lbout II but he thought he could show
hat old store keeper so he sent Rob |
lfter couple Of stout poles and he
vent ana got rope.
Then they tied Jim's feet onto the
,oles and Rob took one end of.the poles
md Mr.. Jones the other.
They went until they came to a
fridge. Jim got scared and kicked and
hey couldn't hold him any longer and
le tumbled of into the river and
Mr.. Jones and Rob had to walk home
nd when they got there Mrs. Jones was
eady for them.
She had got supper and it was 10
clock when they got home so she was
retty mad and she had the rolling pin,
ne broom and a good switch for to
,elcome them home with.
AS they were coming In at the gate
he met them with her rolling pin. etc.
Where have you been and where is
inn" she asked.
MIR. Jones told her about It,
We'll, vum." she said. III you amt
bout the greenest boobs ever met, I'll
at my old felt hat"
She gave Rob whipping and gave .
Ir. Jones some whacks with the rolling I
In. :
They tried to please everybody and
leased nobody and lost old Jim be-
des.
Leah Battin,
West Erovo Ia If