New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-08-09
THE GREAT THINKER
Ike DOrgan's Return.
By ". o. Mcclellan.

REEL Ike Dorgan, q poor puI
ambitious bakery wagon driver, Is
standing beside Messerschmidt's bread
wagon at Clementina and Sixth Street,
San Francisco. 1t is 2:45 on the
morning of April 10. 1906. Closeup
view of clock TO prove it Ike is in
deep trouble, for there is still loaf
of bread left and he does not remem-
Der whether it should be left on the
doorstep of the Diesendorfs or the
Giihooleys.
Gosh, | wish that could blow
this burg" says Ike. Dave Belasco,
Jimmie Britt, Dave Warheld and Jim
Corbett blew it. And look at them
now There amt no appreciation for
talent here"
Just then the San Francisco earth
quake happens. Closeup view of
earth quaking and Ike rolling off the
seat of the bread wagon. A statue
from the City Hall dome falls or lke's
head. The statue is badly bent.
REEL like is riding on the blind
baggage Of the Overland Limited. For
the time being our hero is forced to
consort with hoboes, though the idea
is abhorrent to his sensitive soul. Ike
shares the loaf of Messerschmidt bread
with his ragged companions, forgetting
for the time that it should have been
deposited on the doorstep of the Die
sendorfs or the Gilhooleys. In the
New York Central yards cruel brake
man kicks our hero from the blind
baggage and he finds himself alone in
New York without the price.
REEL 3.-Thaddeus Aloysius Dor
gan, a wealthy artist, is playing pi-
nochle in the back room of the Dutch
mans with Briggs, Goldberg and lot
of other wealthy Bohemians. Ike
Dorgan enters stealthily and moves
toward the lunch.
"Thaddeus!" says Ike, with a glad
cry of recognition.
LAY off that stuff" says Thaddeus
coldly. What did you quit your good
job on the bakery wagon for?"
81 was shook off," replies Ike, apol
cgotically.
"Well, go grab yourself another Job,
then says Thaddeus indifferently.
"l'm just out OF feed bags"
Ike draws himself up proudly. "You
will regret them there cold words,
, Thaddeus," he says proudly. "Some
day people will speak of you merely
as the brother of Ike Dorgan, the great
capitalist"
REEL 4.-Ike Dorgan gets a Job as
reporter on a paper which is operated
by Great Editor. Ike reads power
tul editorial on Thought by the Great
/ Editor. He decides to follow the
teachings outlined therein. The Great
Editor finds Ike thinking.
the G. F.
u am thinking, sir" replies Ike po-
litely.
What are you thinking about?" per-
sists the G. Z.
Nothing, SIR replies Ike. That's
the remarkable part of my thought"
You're fred" says the Great Editor
| am the only remarkable thinker on
this paper who is allowed to think
without thinking about anything"
/ As Ike passes out of the Office he
| hears Theddous say: "That singer is
| trying to make believe that he is re
lation of mine"
REEL 5-Ike is sitting on the curb
stone in front of Madison Square Gar
den, with his forehead held tightly in
/ one hand. A dapper little man watches
him curiously. Finally the stranger
asks, What are you doing on my front
/ steps ?"
I'm thinking, sir" says Ike.
., What are you thinking about?" asks
/ the stranger.
Nothing. sir" says Ike.
Come with me-" says the stranger.
You are just the man | need. I am
James Johnston, the boy bandit
REEL 6-lke Dorgan. now a wealthy
/ fight promoter, is shooting craps on the
/ Persian rug in his palatial Broadway
/ offices. He is using platinum dice, with
diamond spots. Everything about him
/ suggests wealth and luxury.
The butler approaches him respect
/ fully and proffers a card. Its Mr.
/ Thaddeus Aloysius Dorgan," says the
mental. "He wants two tickets TO the
Moran-W Hard fight"
Tell that hick TO chase himself
says Ike, with the hauteur Of the true
aristocrat.
REEL Ike Dorgan, the wealthy
fight magnate, is standing at the cor
! ner of Clementina and Fourth streets,
San Francisco. His green limousine is
waiting near by.
"How strange the old place looks"
muses. Ike. Nobody in my boyhood
home would recall me now"
Just then Ike feels familiar foot
rapping upon the seat Of his trousers
| and hears a voice in German brogue
| shouting: ats dot Dorgan loafer. Hey,
| pay for dot loaf you schwiped from the
Gilhooleys or TO der chail hous you 60
| quick"
Here is money" says Ike haughtily,
as he hands q nickel to his accuser.
Messerschmidt bites it and turns away.