The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Appeal to Congress

In the privacy OF their garage, or IN
the quasi-privacy of their library
they still might have some of the
great joy that comes from using
gasoline.
But they do nothing Of the kind
What do they do? They appeal, in
cognito, of course, to Congress.
When man appeals to Congress
for anything, except pension, he
is innocent of the sense of humor
Because, if he wants anything else
than a pension, he gets a report
several, in fact, for distributions; but
when he wants a pension, he gets
real hard money.
Congress is an assemblage of
philanthropists. Your representative
is always ready to get you anything
the Government Printing Office puts
out. More valuable but unread
statistics come from that printery
in one year than emanate from any
other source on the habitable globe,
Indiana excepted.
Somebody got Senator McCumber
busy on the subject of gasoline in
January, and, as result, all the
romance in that fluid has been re-
fined out of it by learned report
from the Interior Department
Senator McCumber, who comes
from North Dakota, where the bliz-
yards are generated, offered a reso-
luton requesting the Interior De-
partment to put the people wise on
the entire subject. 1t is probable
the same information could have
been obtained from the Standard Oil
Company, but as some people still
hold an unwarranted distrust of that
charitable enterprise, neutral
source was appealed to.
Watching the Fluctuations !.
The resolution embodied list of
inquiries that seemed to be devised
to cover every possible means of
escape for the price of gasoline. 1t
directed the Secretary of the Inter
ior to furnish the Senate for it's use
such information as his department
may have on the production, con-
sumption and price of gasoline.
The questions were most compre-
hensive and Is in number the last
being in the omnibus style to cover
anything the previous IA had care
lessly omitted You see the Senate
was determined to clear up this sit
uation and learn just how much
gasoline was produced, how much
was sold and the prices being asked
by the gas barons for the same.
Well, the Senate has received the
information in printed form by this
time, and the price OF gasoline has
gone up so high that even the timor-
Gus little garage proprietor no
longer announces the price in chalk
on his signboard.
Some time back some confident
garage proprietors had the temerity
to paint the price of gasoline on
boards in front of their places. But
as soon as the gas barons found any
person taking for granted a steady
unweaving price for gas they start
ed to send it up and down every few
minutes. This caused retailer OF
gasoline to adopt chalk for marking
the price.
The beauty of chalk lies in the
fact that the changes can be made
as fast as the gas barons decide on
the change, and that requires some
quick work at times The wise auto
mobile owner when he is about 10
start out in the morning looks NJ
the price of gas. IL he finds il is
a cent or two lower than it was at
midnight when he retired. he fills
his tank, and probably buys another
can to take into his car But if,
on the other hand. he finds the price
is a cent or two higher than it was
when he went to bed. he only takes
on enough gas to see him through
to the afternoon, excepting a drop
in price by dinner time.
Those who followed this plan