Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-09-14
CH0RDS ND.
ID I S c o r ID S

| ST. Louis woman gave an elaborate
| funeral for her pet canary. The body
was embalmed and placed in an oak
| coffin, silk lined, and buried in the fam
! lily plat in the cemetery with appro-
/ pirate service and floral offerings And
/ perhaps in the next block there are
sweet-faced children unable to attend
| school because Of lack of shoes AMI
| clothing to cover their bodies. Such is
| humanity as practiced in this enlight-
ened and Christianized age.
MISS Motor was chief assistant TO
Chicago private banker whose institu-
ton has just collapsed. The banker
declares his trouble was due to his
wife'S jealousy of his assistant. The
latter, it appears, was altogether too
speedy to suit the bankers better half.
A WOMAN may admire a model of
her own sex, but she'll never admit that
she is perfect. On the other hand, men,
a. a. r, say all models are perfect.
Perhaps He's LO0ser When He Leaves.
Sir; 1 have often wondered why the
hat girl who stands at the doorway Of
our modern cafes doesn't collect when
the patron enters instead of waiting
until he is ready to depart. Have you
any explanation to offer? l.. T. r.
YOU may not agree with everything
that a prohibition campaigner says in
one of his speeches. but you probably
have observed that he is rarely inter-
rUpted by q sober person. The one who
butts in is usually sOused. Which only
| lends strength TO the argument OF the
apostle OF aqua.
The Ownly hotel may be located in
Lebanon, Ohio, but the Kleenest hotel
is located in Kenton, Ohio.
IF husbands who complain Of IN
congenialty at home would radiate
some of the sunshine under their own
roofs that they waste in the barroOms
they might discover an early change in
the atmosphere of the breakfast table.
THE girl who writes to the love
editor to help her in some new tangle
Of the heart is passing through the
happiest days Of her life, despite that
she imagines she is suffering just the
contrary.
HUNDREDS of women remained
away from the polls yesterday because
they refused to participate when denied
equal privileges with the men. The
women were permitted, under the law,
to vote only for the candidates for
member Of the state board of equaliZa
ton and county surveyor. One woman
in the eastern part of the city accom-
panied her husband to the ballOting
place. AS they entered they announced
their names and address. The man was
handed a sheet about two feet long,
while the one given his wife was less
than six inches. She was enraged.
DO you suppose | would walk into a
booth with a little thing like that?" and
the woman looked daggers at the clerk. |
Why don't you give me a ballot the
size of the one my husband has?" Her |
legal status was elucidated. but she !
refused to be pacitied. Tearing the (
ballot into shreds. she vanished |!
through the door. I'm just as good |
as the best man living" she declared, /
land | decline to stand for any baby /
ballot. 1t does seem that you men sit I
up late nights trying to cheat We wom- /
en-. But it doesn't go with me" |
Friend husband, when he had deposited |
his vote. tip-tOed to the doorway, eau |
tiOusly peering out, apparently in fear |
that he would meet a brick or some /
other hard substance in payment for |
his failure to warn his wife as to what I
she might expect in the way of an alb
breviated ballot when she visited the !
polling place. But he was agreeably !
She was a block distant |
still muttering to herself.
ROOSEVELT. it is announced. will .
speak at Battle Greek Presumably
there is a reason.