Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1916-12-10
GridirOn Club SatiriZeS Public
 Men ali Annual Dinner in Capital
President Wilson, Members of Cabinet and Other Prominent Men Witness Skits Revealing Facts,
 Foibles and Fancies of the Hour.

lowing:
 McCormick-It's funny, isn't it?
 WlllcoX-What's funny If any things funny tell it to me. I need a laugh.
 McCormick-It's funny how the world keep going around, no matter what happens.
 Willcox-Yes, but it will move very slowly for the next four years.
 The Criss-CrOss Twins.
 Next came vaudeville sketch, the scene 9 theatrical booking office, with Roosevelt and Bryan, Senator Lewis, Colonel George Harvey and the other national figures applying for engage ments. Roosevelt and Bryan wee first tried out.
 T. R.
 The Victoria Cross I'd greatly prize; The Iron Cross 1 do despise; But if can't the hero be, Some medals of my own you'll see They'll get the double.c"oss from ME. They got the Cross of Gold from me; The Nobel Prize I've hoped to sec, Now humbly bearing my cross ] como To say: "You shall not cruelty the
 bum
 Upon the cursed cross of RUM T. R-Say, Willie. what is the diff ference between what you intend 10 do to the Democratic party and what I have done to the Republican party? ? Bryan-Well, Teddy, what is the difference? T. R.--You intend to make the Democratic party dry and I have made the Republican party sweat. When T. R. and Bryan have been ordered out of the booking offices, Senator Lewis of Illinois. whip of the senate. appeared and recited long reries of verses. of which the fol- lowing are typical: Who euides nnruly senate bucks. Ard keeps the party on it's trucks Who is, in short, the whip de luxe Jim Ham. Who followed Hughes upon the trail, And tied a tin can to his tail And put the "din" in dinner pail Jim Ham. Who is the White House blushing pet The truly, only. one best bet, Of the Democratic smartest set? Jim Ham. Colonel George Harvey. who pre- dicted the eledtion of Hughes by a large majority, next appeared and I was chided by the vaudeville agent, ] Harvey said he was liehtning cal. l culator. and that he had predicted the first nomination and election of "dertain professor in New Jersey" ! Harvey-Moreover four years ago calculated exactly what electoral votes each. of the three candidates would have.
 Agcnt-Wcnderfr you dono any of the same kind of calculating 1 lately?
 -(truculently)-Tf you arc going to he personal I'll not stay here and stand for it. I don't think l want a job from you any way The North American Review is good enough vau- deville for ne: good day!
 Jihes at Personal Ambition. l Another travesty entitled the "Ghost Skit'' was cast in "Spook Court" with court sitting in judg- ment on the astral spirits of aspir- ants for positions in the new cabinet Spirits of Secretary of Commerce Redfield, Henry Ford. Postmaster General Burleson, Colonel House, Sec retary Tumulty. Vance Mccormick. Frank l.. Polk, counsellor to the state | department and others appeared. all to be rejected by the judges. When the announcer heralde.l the spirit of 1 Henry Ford, the astral body of the Michigan manufacturer arrived "rat- tding lot of tin cans" | Chief Judge-The music is familiar. What seek you, MT. Ford? Ford-I want to be secretary of the treasury.
 Chief Judge-Why? make money. Chief Judee-Warden. sweep out the padded cell for MT. Ford. .Announcer-The spirit of Joseph P. Tumulty, secretary to the presi- dent.
 Chief Judge-when did you adquire an astral body. Mir. Tumulty?
 Tumulty-About a week before cleo tion.
 Chief Judge-You mean you want to hold your present job with your physical body and get into the cab. inet with your astral body?
 Tumulty--Guilty. judge.
 Chief Judge-Suppose the cabinet job only pays an astral salary?
 Tumulty-Then hand it To somebody else. Both my astral body and my self are practical men.
 The spirit of Secretary of War Bak.