The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-04-06

uoOT. lHouSUI dlleT YOU Cdhe " you
would cry and beg and plead for me
to remain at home and protect YOU
protect me from what?' was rather
independently asked.
From the thousand dangers which
Turk about US day and night. although
We are not in the theater of war;
u have never lost any sleep over 1t.
Mr.. Bowser was nonplused. Mrs.
Bowser seemed perfectly willing that
be should go to war; He had expect
ed different results when the CONVEX
sation began. He had no desire TO 60
to war Even if called upon to defend
his own country he wouldn't have been
any too quick about it. He wanted TO
stand well in Mrs. Bowsers estimation.
however. and he must resort to bluff.
He therefore gathered himself togeth-
er and retorted by asking:
Mrs Bowser, want You to answer
with truth and sincerity. Are you
willing for me to go TO Europe and
take part in the great conflict which
is raging there? Now. don't try to
dodge q question"
Il shall not try to dodge it. Mr. Bow
SER If you want to be a hero and
have your name inscribed on the pages
of history it is my duty TO kiss you
goodby and pray for your safe return
If you return with one arm or leg miss
ing | shall love you just as much as
now and shall honor and be proud of
you
Mr.. Bowser got up and walked the
floor again. and Mrs. Bowser could
hear him whispering to himself as he
walked When he came back to his
chair again he said in very serious
tones:
Il am off. | shall go this very night
to catch a steamer which sails early
In the morning.
as there any great hurry about itf'
was asked
He entered the library. took down
the old junk sword and buckled ii
around him and came out with the
bare blade in his hand. After giving
1t five or six tlourishes around his
head he shouted:
"On men. On to victory or death"
(Which meanssyou will go topight?'
asked Mrs. Bowser.
I'm five minutes. and ! may never re
turn. If do not you will remember
that my last thought was of you as
cannon ball struck me full in the chest
and made widow of you
Il know you will fight bravely, Mr.
Bowser. and if you will wait minute
will find pencil and pad that you
may write to me how your brave men
followed and eheered you. shall let
the papers over here know how glori.
ously you died If you get cold and
have a lame back try and get mus
tard plaster to draw the pain out. Here
is loving kiss for YOU
Mr. Bowser didn't wait for the loving
kiss He merely waved a farewell
with his hand and stalked out still
carrying the unsheathed sword in his
good right hand He was off for the
war; but he felt no glory i'll his heart
instead of seeking TO restrain him from
going Mrs. Bowser had promptly en-
couraged it. He had tried to bluff her.
but had failed. What course should he
take now? He was walking along
The street trying to plan out something
and using the murderous sword as a
cane when policeman stopped him
and asked:
us there military parade anywhere
tonight"
Not that know Of" was the reply.
Then why are you all logged out
with that old toad stickerF'
IL have started for the war;
1.-THE war in Europe?' was asked.
Yes"
well. you had better go back home
again. They have got enough crazy
men over there. Where do you live
"Oh. back there little ways was
the Indifferent reply of the hero as he
clattered his sword against the trunk
of shade tree.
Then III see you to your gate. 1t
strikes me you are not quite right in
your head. It's against the law, any
how for man to walk the streets
with a deadly weapon in his hand, and
am responsible for the lives of the
people walking on the streets. Does
soti WIG hhoN sVo dAS 6oAAAS " ''AA
Yes; she said that ! could go if
wanted to"
But you didn't want to go?" laugh
ed the officer.
Mr. Bowser made no reply. The of
feer had seen through his bluff as
clearly as Mrs. Bowser had done.
Come on. old man, and don't hack
any more shade trees
The officer took Mr.. Bowser by the
arm and led him To his gate and open,
ed it and whispered in his ear:
Il am a married man also and know
how the old thing works, Whenever
we have row the old woman general
" comes ont lrst best. The way for
you to do is 10 sit ON your steps for
about two hours, although the night is
rather chilly. and then go in and tell
her that the war has closed and that
there is no longer chance for you to
make hero of yourself. Better throw
that old sword ut the first dog that
comes along. Ta-ta, old man."
Mr.. Bowser followed instructions, and
Mrs. Bowser replied:
The war is over, is it? Well, l am
glad of it. But you can wait and go
to the next one"