Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-07-29

OFFICE weather note: Charles
Zeising, the Adonis of The Argus limo
type room, has made only one remark
anent the torrid temperature during
the week. II understand heat relieves
rheumatism" observed Chas, but
that doesn't do me any good, because
I haven't yet had a visitation from
that affliction."
THE Bloomington Three-Eye man
agement has been trying to annex a
pitcher named Irion, for the purpose,
presumably, OF increasing the scrappi-
ness of the team.
so many OF our readers have re-
minded us that there always have been
sharks at Atlantic City that we have
decided to give leave to print ii. 4. l..
observes that they don't bite you while
you are in the water, either. He says
they get to you while you are stand
ing on your feet and in full possession
of your faculties. For instance. he
says he paid $40 per day to stop at
one Of the hotels there "a few years
ago.
CHICAGOAN answered a court sum-
mons despite that he knew his house
was burning at the time. The story
did not relate whether he rescued the
insurance papers before he left the
blazing building, but that is GUS
tomary.
THE national president Of the WON
ans Relief corps is insisting that the
Goddess of Liberty be attired in a new
gown. The last time we saw her she
appeared entirely respectable and we
hadn't heard that she had been econ
omizing in the matter of raiment
Still, she would have been entirely
justified the past week in taking 'em
all off and diving into the harbor.
THE Illinois Sheriffs' association is
seeking change in the law that pre-
vents its members succeeding them
selves in office. Evidently the boys
don't realize that this legislation was
inspired by a desire TO save some of
them the humiliation OF a rebuff ut
the polls.
MORTON D. Hull, one of the nu-
merous aspirants for the republican
nomination for governor, is slamming
Frank LoWden, who also thinks he
would fit comfortably in the state
house, on his connections. The char
liable view is that Brother Hull is
merely envious. Why, bless his soul,
Lowden's connections are the best
what is. Every little Pullman has a
movement of it's own over most of our
leading railroads.
1T may, comma, or it may not be a
source of relief to readers of this col
| umn to know that the pilot thereof is
to knock off after this issue for short
/ breathing spell-in the hope that said
spell will be helpful to both himself
and those who have so courageously
followed the rawlings appearing daily
Except Sunday in this cavity in the
middle of the high-brow page. We
have endeavored to secure substitute
to fill the void in our absence, but hav-
ing failed, readers will not be given
opportunity to appreciate by contrast
the excellent literary fodder they are
supplied when the regular man is on
the job (NOw is the time to subscribed
However, the space will be filled, but
with what we don't know. Yet, con-
Quoting a column is as easy as roll
| ing off d log. Nerve is the chief re-
quisite. All you have to do is to keep
grinding away, and you are bound oc-
casionally, accidentally if not other
wise, to have your typewriter reel off
a bright sentence. Then you are ac-
cused of being original. The battle is
more than half won. George Fitch
said that every writer who hoped to
get anywhere in his profession should
not write less than two thousand
words every day. George maintained
that average, it is understood We at
tempt to go not more than half way
The result is that we are going on our
annual vacation while the daisies are
waving over George.
REV. J. W. Leach is preacher at FL
Paso, Ill. 1t is said he hangs tena-
ciously to those precepts he considers
right.
THE latest from Mexico is that the
Villa bandits have been surrounded by
Carranzistas. A game of ring around
a-rosy will be next in order.
THE Rock Island county republican
central committee could score "A big
hit with sweltering humanity, and pos
Sibly might win a few party recruits,
by inviting Charles Warren Fairbanks
here to deliver political speech. He
needn't talk necessarily. His presence
would suffice.
JUDGE Lands has awarded the Mat
tiers mystery baby to Margaret Ryan,
whom he held to be its rightful mother.
'Smatter, pop?
WHEN Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt set
out the other day to raise a fund with
which to relieve dependents of New
York guardsmen on the border she Sc
lected bevy of attractive chorus girls
to invade the Wall street district.
They brought back $4,000. Mrs Van
derbilt doubtless had heard the fisher
mans adage to the effect that it's not
the pretty pole or the silky line that
catches the fish; it's the bait
ONE OF the Michigan avenue hotels
in Chicago is advertising that it is the
coolest place in the city. III you are
| nurinuG and VyiSh N havn this