South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-12-24
A CHEEKY Christmas.

~ 10 mat GSA many , pcdCC pAo-
posals sound like the talk of some
: body who has an ace in the hole.
The baseball bosses have reduced
the prices of worlds series seats so
per cent Good. The cost of living
falling at last!
The government will seek the why
OF the n. c. o. l.,
Then twill be higher, for well pay
The seeker bill as well.
Did you ever try TO love your
neighbors as they love themselves
Neither did we-Toledo Blade.
We decline to say anything that
might be used against us.
Are you thinking OF buying a book
for Mary as a Christmas present. or
does Mary already have a book
Boston Globe.
We would feel better if we might
say Mary has" but we know from
the form of your question that would
not sound right in Boston; so we
merely sigh and say; Mary does"
Her book is a cook book. and she
has a Christmas turkey TO go with it.
The real probing into the high
price of eggs will come in early
spring when the Mishawaka hens
commence to strike their egg-a-day
gait.
Tomorrow will be Christmas, and
We want every old nuisance who
does the handsome thing by his wife
TO feel at liberty 20 tell us about il
and we will listen and tell him what
fine character he is, although no
man who treats his wife decently
does one speck more than his
bounden duty.
A fellow is beginning to get the
rudiments of being a gentleman
when he learns that it is not nice to
take advantage Of the weak and
helpless.
You have noticed. haven't you.
that when the Lords work must be
done the average fellow frowns and
groans about hard times, and when
the devil wants something done the
gang rushes to it with smiles and
bulging pockets?
When a man gets so crusty that
he can not comprehend the budding
maternal instinct of a poor little girl
who wants a doll. he. belongs in a
hog pen with a placard on him read
ing: This is a hog. but not fifth
to eat"
called ''whackum," At the 10th
stage of spiflication caused by it the
victim lies on his back and reaches
up for the ground.
It is nine by the clock. and the
weather is cold. and the years grow
ing very infirm it's so old. But it
is not all age that is making il
shake. ana it is not all cold that it
making il quake; part of its days
were spent Somewhere in France"
and the shot have torn holes, rag
ged holes in its pants; some days
we're spent in war-torn Belgium,
and a regiment tramped all one day
on its tum; then il spent some swift
days down in old Mexico. and Villa
kept il in a wild to-and-fro; then
il went farther on down the warm
southern track. and Carranzistas
ripped its frock coat up its back;
then il spent some days, too, and
some nights, and smelly-bad, on a
horse ship. with horses to stay with.
| bedad, Till a submarine came and
! blew il pretty near 10 the midst OF
next week or the midst of next year;
then some days of il ent 10 the land
OF the Turks, and IL got a curved
! yataghan plunged in its works; then
some more days went by in the fair
/ land Of Greece, and it had there no
| rest for IL had there 10 peace; and
IL went into Russia. and Persia. and
all the lands il was in gave il no
peace at all: and then il came here
and was driven insane by the whOop
| Of a nationwide sizzling campaign.
So it's all shot 20 pieces and limps
on its pins, it has known ups and
downs. il has known outs and ins,
/ it's last shirt is torn of, and its
I pants are a wreck. and its feet are
worn smooth. and it's SCARED on the
neck. and it's nearly all in. and we
reckon a few will be glad 10 set eyes
on a year that's brand new. Twas
frowzy old year in = good manN