davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-22

In most cases when the wagon is late m reaching your
door it is because customers your route have
held # back, and their thoughtlessness while unten-
6onal. makes you suffer. We are quite sure that
YOU would not knowingly delay the ice wagon on its
way to homes where sickness and suffering prevail.
On the contrary. if you could speed it along. you
woul There is scarcely day IN which the wagon
on your route does not go to homes where anxious
mothers are watching for it with heavy hearts You
can speed the wagon by answering the call promptly.
by having the road clear to the refrigerator by having
the change or the coupon IN hand. and IN other ways
which your own intelligence will suggest.
We know you are going to act on this hint now and
hereafter THANK You'll
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05

From the Louisville Courier Journal
6N11E full beard-proud emblem OF
manhood-will no longer be toier-
x ated in the French army. All mill
tary chins must be shaved clean and kept
so. Samson, shorn of his hair. was not
in a. worse plight than the Frenchman OF
the whisker bearing type will feel wnen
bereft of his shaggy beard.
In America the full, flowing, untrim-
med whiskers. with which the wind plays
are peculiar to Senator Jim Ham Lewis,
Candidate Charles E. Hughes and some
quantity "of ruralists Of the old school,
who view with pride the length OF their
boards and the breadth thereof.
Among the urbanites Of America-with
the exception of Senator Lewis and Mr..
Hughes-the full beard flowing freely is
regarded as the distinguishing popularity
of the countryman The countryman is
often smooth shaven. 1t Is only In comic
cartoons that the farmer always has a
long beard and patched pantaloons, and
carries farming implement Of some
sort. The real life tiller of the soil often
is as we'll tailored and well barbered as a
broker, but few of the old guard In
the rural sections cling to tho long as
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
THE FRENCH BEARD

pen-like boards which are seen upon the
streets of Paris and upon the chins OF
Frenchmen who are by no means unso7,
phisticated ruralsts.
Waters and Americans 80 smooth
shaven, according to the Partisan view.
A French gentleman must have at least
a mustache, and may have a bale OF
beard if Providence has supplied him
plentifully with the makings Of 1t. But
all superfluities are condemned in the
army in this hour of stress.
The trend of the military orders Is the
purpose of the order of Skipper Dollinser
in the Mark Twain poem, the response
to which the narrator thus describes:
Then overheard key of nails and an
wills three we threw.
Likewise four bales of gunny sacks. two
hundred pounds OF glue,
A bag of corn, four ditto wheat. box Of
books, a COW,
A violin. Lord Byron's works. ripsaw
and SOW"
And in order to tighten ship-if Z sea
term is allowable in treating Of land
forces-the flowing French beard must be
heaved overheard.
1t is sad, but modern military science
makes short work Of the superfluous.
and considers lightly the purely orna-
mental.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
ALL FOR $50 A MONTH

teacher leaves; but we have our doubts
whether any teacher who develops ability
to attract attention and run a school room
generally on basis of mental telepathy
will lnger long in the employ of the pub
lie at $50 or $50 a month. Here Is Charles
Evans Hughes, who recently drew sal
airy Of $14,5O0 and is now seeking a posi-
ton at s7o000-what would not he give
at this moment for the power expected
of the modern teacher for less than 500
a month? Lack of attractive power 10
one of the chief complaints against him.
Think of the far-reaching effect OF this
proposed hypnotic, power in the school
room-of the instantaneous turning Of 100
per cent boys bent on play into 100 per
cent students! Yet it would not be with
out it's dangers They say that one TO be
hypnotized must have some brain power;
nowhere have we seen it stated that
brains can be infused into numbskui's.
But suppose the teacher should be a poor
operator and the efficiency rating of the
pupils be based on her influence upon
them? Might not there be the danger Of
some normal pupils being classed as de-
ficient through the fault of the teacher?
Could any but poor hypnotists be held IN
the schools with the salaries paid there?
There are fads enough in the schools
now.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
From the Pittsburg Post.

rum tH6 IltlSDuTS rust.
OT1HE declaration by a speaker before
the Allegheny County Teachers
institute that every teacher must
be a hynotist must arouse wonder anew
in the mind of the average layman at
what Is expected of the teacher receiving
from $50 to SIS or 500 month. We do
not question the desirability of hynotic
influence in a teacher or the possibility
of it's development to a certain extent
after long practice in concentration-we
only wonder how much one might earn
in some other calling if possessed of the
ability implied in the demands upon the
teachers. The idea in this case appears
to be that when the teacher desires the
particular attention of the pupils she
shall obtain it by sending out thoughts
instead of by clapping her hands or
stamping her feet. No complaint can be
found with the desire to end such prac'
tees as might cause the teacher to ap-
pear at one time as a sort of whirlinS der
wish or at another a termagant; but
still one cannot help wondering at the tre-
mendous ability implied for her In the
suggestion of what she might do with her
hypnotic power. Everyone notices the
difference in the pupils the moment some
radiant, we'll hammered teacher enters the
room and some Manufactured, shreWdish
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

Copyright 1915, by the Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Even when you know man is a liar
1t is hard to believe that about him
when he is saying nice things about
you.
Now that summer is waning, the shoe
stores are displaying low-cut shoes for
the dear girls and the knee-length
things they wore in hot weather will
have disappeared by the time there is
snow on the ground.
1t seems to us that an old married
woman who has pair of props that
look like the legs on an old fashioned
pool table. has no business wearing a
skirt that barely covers her knees But
she wears one, just the same.
A western scientist holds that morals
improve as the amount of clothes worn
grows less. Well, if this is the case
there is nothing the matter with the
morals of our American girls.
Almost every day you will meet a
man who possesses the ability to saw
what he means without letting anyone
else know it.
A soft answer may turn away wrath.
But it sure is heap more satisfac-
tion to beiable to call man liar
The reason why a woman is certain
tndt ner son Will turn out TO be a DIX
man is because her husband turned out
to be hunk of cheese.
Once in while you will run into
the kind Of man who imagines that he
would lose his dignity if he ever smiled
When a man gets so old that a wom-
ans curves mean nothing to him he
gets yen to join a Society for the
Suppression of Something.
Love may be blind. But love should
remember that the neighbors have good
eyesight.
II man can look prosperous when
he isn't you can't keep him down long
Most Of us have to be careful what
we say about others. But a reformer
or circus evangelist can claim that
he was misquoted and get away with It.
Any old time a woman tells you that
there is 10 years difference between
her age and that of her husband don't
get the idea that she means that she
| is 10 years older than he is.
We don't mind hearing a dead man
praised. But it makes us tired to hear
live man receive few compliments.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
100 PER CENT CANDIDATE

From the New York World.
Under glacial exterior the Hon.
Charles w. Fairbanks is shrewd and
cunning Indiana politician. Mr.. Fair
banks knows his way about in the repub-
lican Jungle, and he knows where the
sinews of war come from in a republican
pi esidential campaign. That is why he
gave the tariff the chief place in his
speech accepting the nomination for
Vice President.
For a generation the protected indus
tries have financed the republican party,
and Mr.. Fairbanks is not the sort of
Theodore Roosevelt, 'bites the hand that
feeds him." The high protection gentle
men have not been wholly satisfied with
Mr.. Hughes speeches. They like all that
he has said about the tariff, but he has
not said enough of it to suit them. Mr..
Fairbanks has made good the deficit.
Next to the tariff comes Mexico. OF
with the Mexican policy of the Wilson
administration than with the tariff pol
icy.
Mr.. Fairbanks speech of acceptance
enunciates the sort of republication that
the old guard believes in. and the old
guard is the boss Of the party Mr.. Fair
banks knows who nominated him and
loudly proclaims it. That rs where he
differs from Mr.. Hughes, who was nomi.
mated by the German vote and II afraid
70 talk about it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
SHE DIDN'T SAY CROUCH TwEEDs,

From Golfers.
Sometimes there's run on certain
word just as there are runs on banks,
At present "tweeds" Is one Of these. II
you're writing person, be sure to dress
your hero In them. At any rate. toss
the word in once in awhile, Just to
show that you know all about that sort
of thing and are conversant with the
of mere clothes. See how niftily Kath-
crime Fullerton Gerould turns the trick.
She happens to be writing of Honolulu
in monthly magasine:
THE business man Of Honolulu dresses
as tho business man in New York dresses
-tweeds, starched neck gear. and all"
This might get by were it not for the
fact that just the person who doesnt
wear tweeds Is the New York business
man, not once in 500 cases. And still less
do the folks in the balmy city OF flow
ers You can SEQ slathers of soldiers In
khaki, and some Cinnamon in Tapping
cotton trousers, and no end of Hawaiians.
Japanese and MISUNDERSTANDING many
business men"--in cool Palm Beach
CLOTH and linen and flannel. and even
In serge and cheviot and worsted. But
'tweeds''-never! Why. II man In
tweeds should pass along the sun
drenched streets of Hawaii. sculptured
King Kamehameha would turn upon his
pedestal to see. But Mrs .Gerould needn't
feel any pangs. She got the effect she
wanted. And there's another phrase
which fills a similar literary" need in
regard to women's clothes. So perhaps
lac this cultured authoress should ever
travel toward the gumdrop land of good
] ole DIR. Cook, she would dress her Es-
kimo ladies in soft clinging chiffons.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
STAGE FOLK FrNICKY

New York Correspondence Pittsburg Dis
patch.
stage folk are so finicky. Yesterday at
the dress rehearsal of her ballet act at
the Hippodrome Nine. Pavlowa discovered
that trlckling water is annoying. Dur.
ing one of her dances the stage is backed
by grotto scene, with several fountains
OF water bubbling up most attra ctively,
out none the less noisily. That noisy
water disturbs me-" complained Nine.
Pavlowa, after trying to execute her
dance in vain. "Everytime 1 start t.,
count. the sound of those fountains dis
turbs me-. That's all right" Charles
Dillingham told her, in a soothing voice.
when the show opens tomorrow night
you won't hear it at all; we're going to
use soft water" And the fair danseuse
went back to her steps, appea sed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
LOST ON A TECHNICALLY
New York Correspondence. Cincinna,
TimeS-Star.

New York Correspondence, Cincinnati
Times-Star.
When Police Captain Patrick Costello
met a man on the main street of Dobbs
Ferry, loudly and joyfully disturbing
the peace of the historic hamlet. he
said: MY friend, you're drunk. and I'll
have to run you in"
The stranger drew a tattered Bible
from his pocket and, leading the cap
tain to the nearest street lamp. read,
with fervor; First Timothy; 5:23.
Drink no longer water. but use a little
wine for thy stomach's sake and thine
often inhrmities"
The captain scratched his head and
thought. Finally he said: What were
you drinking?"
well" replied the stranger, the
last one was beer"
Then" said the captain, you lose
on technicality. and It's come with
me-"
So the stranger. who said he was
John Hasch of the Bcwery, New York,
was locked up to await the morning
session Of the Dobbs Ferry police
court
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
JOKE KILLS Man
from the Chicago Herald.

Here is the joke that killed man:
Harry Bulger. who plays the part OF an
ammunition king in Cohan's Revue. has
been separated from his wife. He drinks
Fair and Warmer" cocktail which re-.
wives his old love and as he clasps his
wife to his breast he ardently exclailns:
Il have strange feeling coming over
me--kiss me. sweetheart. want to be-
kissed"
Charles Spencer. an attorney from Mon
ticello, Ind. was convulsed with laughter
which he could not check. He was carried
to the managers Office. where he died.
At the same performance a veteran Of
the Franco-Prussian war grew excited =:
the showing of a munitions plant on the
stage. jumped to his feet, tore open his
shirt to show his battle-scarred breast,
and began making a pro. Kaiser speech.
A young woman few minutes later
laughed so hard that she began to sob
and had to be helped out. racked with =
fit of mysteries.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
Infantile Paralysis

The infantile paralysis epidemic in
New York threatens to materially inter-
fere with the educational system in the
environs of Gotham said Reuben A..
Lewis yesterday. Cornell university has
deferred its opening until October 2, and
similar announcements of delay have been
made by other institutions In the vicinity
of New York.
The Birmingham boys who attend Law
rencevilie school have been informed that
the authorities have determined to delay
the beginning of the scholastic year until
October TO- With the vast number OF girls
schools in New York city. it would seem
that the plans of these institutions will
be materially altered by the conditions
that the poliomyelitis scare has imposed.
Happily, the southern schools will not
be affected by the prevalence Of the sour
rilous disease"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
HOW MEERsCHAUM PIPE IS MADE

From the Popular Science Monthly.
Meerschaum pipe making is one of the
most interesting processes of the Ameri-
can midwest. In normal times the meer-
schaum comes from abroad. Just now
that export trade has stopped, the pipe
makers of Cincinnati get it from others
is shipped in white blocks, resembling
ivory. But the substance is consider
ably whittier than the usual elephant tusk
is and very much lighter. In fact, the
lightness of a given block of meer-
schaum is astonishing.
Handled for American manufacturers
largely through New York commission
houses, most of the best meerschaum is
brought from Turkey in Europe. 1t ar
rives in little cheats, or hasten, within
which each separate piece of the sub
stance is found Securely wrapped in cot
ton. Such meerschaum is paid for by
the number of pieces. Curiously enough,
the dealers prefer small pieces to large,
since it takes an expert cutter to know
how to cut such with minimum amount
of waste. Skilled meerschaum cutters
out of a job are not easy to find.
Cutting the understandable first step
in pipe manufacturers done with an
ordinary saw. A good workman can
cut the forms for perhaps two dozen pipes
from the raw material in a single work.
ing day. AS cut, these rough forms are
thrown into cold water to soak. In the
water they are left until the supply de-
sired is cut up and the man ready to
go on with the pipes.
Rudely resembling the ultimate pipe,
each form is taken in hand and a hole
drilled into the pipe head. Into this
hole-the future bowl of the pipe-a
the embryo pipe mounted on this, "shap-
ing Is begun.
That we of today should still find use
for the rush of the wayside brook is
indeed interesting. For the next step in
the process old-fashioned rushes are
used-cut into Sits and employed for pol
ishing the pipes. Usually the rushes are
moistened for such use. They impart a
polish which, it appears, cannot be 9TH
erwise obtained.
Neatly shaped and polished, your
meerschaum pipe must be subjected to
SILL dioluol pioScSS. Ho -PiPO - poiiCd
in common beeswax, because no piece
of meerschaum in the raw state will
color as smokers require.
After this boiling the pipes are given
another polishing-this time with cotton
flannel sheets and prepared chalk. Even
that does not suffice. There must still
go to that pipe a final hand polishing,
done with alcohol.
From the time of starting a pipe until
Its completion, half days steady labor
of the most skillful workmen is required.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
GUNS SAVE LIVES

From the Popular Science Monthly.
The three and six-pounders with which
all the ea-going cutters of the service
are armed now are used to shoot lines
to vessels in distress. For years they
had served as nothing more than orna-
ments on the decks of the cutters; for it
never was necessary to use them in the
enforcement of customs and navigation
laws. They were carried mainly for their
moral effect.
These guns have been found far more
effective in line shooting than the line
guns formerly carried-small brass can
mons of the type seen at life-saving sta
tions along the coasts. Although the can
mons were in use for many years. they
were never entirely satisfactory. 1t was
almost impossible to aim them with any
degree of accuracy, and accordingly lire
shooting with them was "hit or miss
matter in the majority Of cases.
In line shooting with the modern rapid
fire guns a projectile about six feet In
length Is used. The end, which is in
serted in the gun, is a cylindrical piece
of sole steel slightly smaller than the
bore of the gun and about foot In
length. 1t is tapered down to a rod about
a half inch in diameter and five feet
or more in length. There is a forged
eye at the end Of the rod to which the
end of the line is tied.
The line is loosely twisted hemp rope
about the size of a wash line. About
1900 feet of it is woven back and forth
around wooden pins set in receptacle
the size of a trunk known as a fax
ing box" After this operation the box
is turned upside down and the frame
work holding the pins is withdrawn, leav-
ing the line ready to be fed out" with
out becoming tangled. Prior to the IN
sertion of the projectile In the gun, the
first 20 or 80 feet of the line are dam
pened, so as to give it more elasticity
and lessen the danger Of its parting. A
cartridge containing about 10 ounces OF
black powder is inserted in the breech
of the gun which is then aimed and
fired.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
HOTEL LOBBIES
Bijou Opening

I cannot help but believe Birmingham
is as progressive as any other city in
the SOUTH said H. M Cassidy, manager
OF the Bijou THE opening of the Bljou
yesterday was all that anyone could have
expected. 1 believe all the other theatres
in this city were equally as fortunate.
When you see great crowds of well
groomed, prosperous looking citizens en-
joying themselves on a holiday it is q
good indication that the times are good.
With all the large industries running
full time and good wages being paid the
employees I predict Birmingham will he
among the most thriving cities of the
south this winter. THE unusual amount
of enthusiasm that seems to have been
infused in the system of a great many
citizens here is bound to be a result
getter. They can't tell me this city isn't
a good town. have faith in it and
have been around enough to know real
city when see one"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
LOVE NOT PEACE

By Elizabeth B. Browning. I
] love no peace which Is not fellowship.
And which includes not mercy. would
have
Rather the raking Of the guns ACROSS
The world >
Such things are better than . peace that
sits
Beside hearth in self-comnended mood.
And takes no thought how wind and rain
by fits
Are bowling out Of doors
What! your peace admits
OF outside anguish while 1t keeps at
home?
loathe to take it, name upon my
tongue.
lis nowise peace It's treason. stiff
with DOOM a.
lis sagsed despair. and inarticulats
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
NOTHING DOING.

Time was when any thirsty chap
These words might hear:
Come round tonight. We plan to tap
A keg O. beer"
But now uprise fierce waves of heat
And dust clouds fly,
While they who plod with weary feet
Continue dry.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-05

Alabama totaled 100000 bushels
a little more than double the produc-
ton of 1914. There is no reason why
this state should not do as well as
Tennessee with 100000 bushels of
wheat in 1915 or Kentucky with about
8, 500 900 bushels.
Alabama has the soil, and at fairly
good prices wheat can be made very
profitable crop. Every grain elevator
like Dothan's will help the cause.
A gentleman who heard Mr.. Hughes
speak in the sest says he seemed to
be very earnest" Running for the
presidency on the republican ticket this
ening performance.
Celebrated pugilst spends his leisure
moments reading and playing with his
baby daughter. However, fight fans
still contend that the punching bag and
the medicine ball are more to the pur-
pose
The big cireuses begin their season in
the north and end it in the south. That's
why southern kiddies seldom see a cir
Gus until it has lost great deal of its
gold paint.
Having kept his word and rescued his
followers on Elephant Island. Lieutenant
Shackleton may be able to persuade them
to take another chance with him in ant
arctic ice.
1t is reported that the Germans are
putting more wood in their Zeppelins.
That makes it easier for English anti
aircraft guns to reduce them to kindling
wood.
Detroit claims to have a population of
more than 100000. 1t would be interest
ing to know what percentage of her popu-
lation is engaged in the automobile bust
ness.
President Wilson's picture was con-
the reason for his tremendous popularity
among workingmen is not yet week
old.
When a man talks about the old swim
ming pool you may take it for granted
that he doesn't know anything about the
joys of country life.
\
Lest you forget Tom Marshall has not
yet been notified that he was renomi-
mated for the vice presidency by the
democratic party
A handful of bartenders rode in Biz
ninsham's Labor Day parade, although
theoretically there are no bartenders in
Birmingham.
1t begins to look as if Mexico's next
President will wear whiskers and the
next President of the United States
won't.
n X
Thirteen Zeppelins took part in the
latest air raid on London. Judging from
results, it was an unlucky number.
X y
The Balkan Express is something more
than a train to the Germans. 1t is a
symbol of their place in the SUM-"
t9'G HftfW
Mr.. Hughes will no doubt enjoy his
visit to Tennessee, but every glad hand
does not necessarily mean a vote
No matter what change Greece makes
In her attitude. she could hardly be
worse off than she is now.
Now that the railroad strike has been
averted. New York will continue to get
three square meals a day.