The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-06-29
THE LOST SISTER.IN.LAW.
Interruption of the Search by q Visitor
From Boston.

search Tor my lost blonde sistCr-iu-law
has been sadly interfered with the past
few days by a visitor from Boston vino
came over for the very purpose of aid
ing. If possible, In tho discovery of my
sister-in-law The visitor IL no less u
person than my Sistcr-iu-law's aunt, AMI
my wife is therefore her niece too, since
] have no II others.
As have suggested. my aunt-in-
laws presence, rather than being an
and, has been a L,udrluoc. She does
lot Ike me and IL frank enough to tell
my wife 80 "a u way hold to he hypo-
critical because she prcfaccs her re-
marks with the formula. "Of course.
my dear. ! don't like to say anything.
hut--' with my wife she holds me-
responsible for the loss of her niece.
Tie other day She asked me in a tone
Intended To- ho Iruuical IL | ever drdnk
wafer ! replied that ] daily consumed
quantities OF .carbonic and vichy. Evil
IDENTIFY surprised, she said she was very
glad To hosir II. She doesn't know what
- highball IL made Of.
She came upou MS quite Unexpectedly
and her presence Was made known To-
ne 10y u NcrA unpleasant eNfc'Itu.r.
which. however. was no faul, of hers.
| had returned about > O'Clock IN the
afternoon after a long, hard day spent
10 collecting the opinions Of different
flN NtAll'H hilfN Wv IL NtltIIN. NNl
In as many cafes ia regard to the best
way 10 proceed with my search for my
sister-in-law. II occurred to me that
tu ogguog at the cud Of this almos'
perfect day would De about TIE right
thing. was e. MT for ! had had no
lunch. ana ! Was tIrcI, ola. 80 tiicd.
could speak only with difficulty o..
tered our dining room. which WAS
somew hat dark. and called for Jane,
.HHE L.U. Co. -U-AN- .L
bring me the makngs Of an cggnog
She knew from experience and hrourh'
Just what wanted. From the dccduter
! poured into the shaker "A generous
drink. ! needed 1t. Then just a little
SUGAR and an egg. e tablespoon fun Of
ice. cracked not too tine. and rllcd the
shaker with rich mix This shook
TN well mixed and cool. nut not WIN
AN the taste frozen ont OF 10. 49, th,,
drink. | confess ! have taken several
drinks In my life and suffered or on
joyed. "a the case might be. several
sensations thorefrou but ne result
ant sensation from that drink was
unique. was sorry now had hcon
~ careful not to freeze the taste out
That taste! I imagine 1t could b,
mildly duplicated by taking = tablespoon
ful Of cold oatmeal mixed with sweet
oil and lard. When | recovered I
started to ind out what was wrou.
The milk I found 10 be sweet. The ,.u
! knew to he fresh because it's always
marked 80 on the box. I had JUS.
picked up the dccauter to examine That
when my wife rushed into the room
"QuicN, she cried. Hide iti'
"Nid" what" | asked
Don't stand there and talk hack.
Hide IN" decarrer. Have you been
drinking asain?" Sh. said this All i'm
one breath.
Yes" | replied coolly. 81 have just
taken = drlnt, ard Tor the nr-t ','u. M
my life ! am truly sorry. wish Won
had hidden it before ! got hold OF the
old thing What's In it,"
Ny aunt from Ros'on has jus,
she thinks OF liquor SO hid the
whtskey decanter hut forgot the YER
mouth
Nnd so ! learned that my auut-ir-
law had arrived There is q decisive
.nnality about everything my wifes aunt
says that makes me want TO elv
'yeSsum," as II | were a SINAI, hoy
again.
u Trims 81" SAID at the diner
table, that the lack Of preparation for
our troops L. - burning shame They
say they have been getting ready for
nearly n week nov and / have soc.
hundreds 81 soldiers. vet not one OF
them, not even an officer. has been SUP
Piled as yet with a clean white collar.
! tell YOU ~ We women had the doing
Of that things would he different. Ave
YOU going TO enlist" she suddenly
asked me.
How Ions do YOU think YOU will re-
main with u.s. answered. forgetting
myself. Fortunately for me she did not
There = one thing ! want you 70 do
go please me she said and boz
YOU will" Personally believed
! would ! rad n vision Of myself way
q neatly engraved pledge in one havi
and " fountain pen I'm the other. Put,
/ Wt- Nrous Even IL YOU don't wear
she continued. ~ want YOU To-
get a military haircut 1t mukos a mn
look 50 manly" suffice il here 70 say
he next day found me in a barber
Shop | asked FOR n military haircut
ana got II When It was finished the
air on my head was a tribe shorter
th1n the down on the back Of a minute
chick ! paid the barber and pat
ou my stra" hat, The swaziland was
~ no further use. The crown ~ tie
hat rested on tho top Of my head md
YOU could spin II around "a a tuerler
spins n plate on the tip 81 Ms up
raised niger. On my way home every
J turned my head 70 look before
crossing n street my hat would begin
~ spin and people would rape. II was
very embarrassing. particularly as ! had
my hands full OF packages and 80 had
I" let my hat spin on. And whom 4,
stopped spinning Il would, more often
than NOT, cone to rest pointing east and
west Though II gave mo no rescm-
nlth'e u Napoleon. BESIDES q, gave M,
~" appearance OF indcc.sion as t. TIE
direction in which ! was proceeding.
hf course | could not continue .,
Wear my hat thus, and ! Nat'or myself
] have struck on "A somewhat
clever idea tn overcome the difficulty
7 VIII take about ,w~cutN-thrcr DAYS
Tor my hair to grow out again hay,
t"eitN-ihree strips Of very thin
PAPER N width the width OF the sweat.
h''iH' IN length the diameter oc the in.
sld" or my hat All thrs. twentv-tnr.e
s'rilS ! have Inserted behind the sweat.
band so that the hat now hts mo Each
daN | shall remove one thickness Of
PAPER To compensate for the twenty
t'Hr hours growth Of hair, and So e>-
pect I" Keep my hat correctly posed
my head
Long before ! remove the tw~entv.th.rd
STRIP J hope my a~unt-,n-law VIII have
g"u" nome and | may resume once mora
my search for my los, blonde sistrr.r.
r, II
NEW YORK, June IS
OF Single BIrssedness