Arizona republican., 1916-02-27

to crowd through the St. Louis gate way.
 Hey, MT. Speaker eXpostulated the gateman, this ticket ain't no good. It reads for Baltimore. And it's four years oid."
 T knew it.' shouted the passenger, who resembed Champ Clark. Bill Hearst told me to try to work it off, but the darn ticket never was any good"
 The speaker finally got through on Missouri mileage" but the plank be- came wedged in the gateway As he tried to disengage it. he explained that it came out of the Baltimore cyclone" 1 and was the last surviving bit of the one-term plank. They asked him what good it was. and he replied that he was merely" following T. R.'s advice | Learn to swim, but always carry [ fife preserver.'
 Vice President Marshall, extremely | nervous. was closely followed by Sen ator Lewis of Illinois
 q ought to be nervous" he explained l He follows me all the time He fol- lowed me to the rostrum in the senate | today and almost sat in the chair. Former Vice President Fairbanks displaying handful of tickets for a 1 group of delegates. locked up in the 1 baggage car" of the Chicago special came next. He wanted to leave a few 1 more tickets for any stray delegates who might relish little transporta- ton" He was closely followed by two men described by one of the guards in a stage whisper, as the two wickedest men in the world-Uncle Joe Cannon and Boisey Penrose.' The imperson- | atOr of Senator PenroSe asked: 'IS | this the regular train?" and was as sured by the gateman that everything
 is regular this year" Penrose wanted to know if the gateman had seen any one by the name of Roosevelt hanging : around.
 ''I heard he was going" the senator unused. "T R. did me a great favor once-he made some speeches for Pin chot"
 'Unclc Joe" urging the senator to hurry, asked if he expected to pay MT ] ttOOSSNelU $ rare.
 I'm willing-if he'll use the ticket buy" was the answer
 Senator Weeks came along with 2 great bag which he said was full o f New England delegates He was tolt to check it, but warned not to let San } Mccall knew where he put the check Next came a passenger, greeted a' ( nro1 q -tt-i,, dummies which he referred to as post : masters They caused the gatesmd, s to wonder if General BurlesOn hat adopted Frank Htchcock's children" Colonel Roosevelt was followed b, George w Perkins, and they made
 great commotion. Perkins was carry ing a bag, which he said was SO ligh it kept flying out of his hands. Tn | gatesman asked him what was in it.
 "Ephraims diet" replied the bogu D Roosevelt I'm going to feed it to tn republicans ''
 | The gatesman pointed out that Col
 onel Roosevelt's ticket was for tn
 progressive train and dated 1912, bu
 the colonel told him he talked like byzantine logothete." Perkins had n ticket. He was merely to see the colo mel on the train, he explained.
 "Yes-and I'll see him off-at tn : first trestle." exclaimed the next pas n senger, familiarly greeted as Bi
 Barnes. This passenger waved an ax
 which he called "an olive branch" t II he presented to someone between tn
 fourth and fifth vertebrae" . Time was up and the gates close when in rushed William ]. Bryan. H 'A carried shotgun on which was mount = ed a dove of peace, and excitedly tol
 the gateman that he had to get throug i as he had important business on tn
 St. Louis train. His ticket, the guar v. ticket but gained his point and wa e allowed to slip through the gate on hi |, promise to run for the train.
 "Youll have to be some runner
 commented the gateman. = T am." replied Bryan, as he darte
 away Been running for twent
 vears''
 After the gates were relocked tw
 negroes entered They explained the
 were delegates from the Sum
 South" and wanted to go to Chicago.
 This here station is closed for th
 season." the gateman replied. If yo
 wanta go to Chicago you gotta wall
 WALK, walk"
 Other features of the evenings CT
 tertainment were q pantomime pol
 traying Colonel Roosevelt shying h
 hat into an imaginary ring; a son
 to the Chinese minister sung to tf
 air oi chinatown" and parody o
 "Orphcus and Eurydice,' with stag