South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-02-09
STATESMEN GREAT AND
AND NEAR-GREAT
BY Fred Kelly

/ Congressman Tom stout of Mon
/ tana had occasion TO make a trip
/ back home a while ago just when
/ the thermometer was doing it's
worst His train was delayed sew
4 eral times by the steam in the en-
CINE freezing up. They reached one
little town about six hours late, and
Tom saw standing on the station
platform a bus driver who looked
1 cold enough TO have been right there
for the whole six hours. He was
/ bundled up in a great muskrat over
coat. felt boots, and several yards of
muller There were icicles attach
/ ed to his mustache and what little of
/ his face showed was a pinkish pur-
pie.
Tom Stout was curious to know
! the temperature and he had the te-
quire of the man in the muskrat
overcoat:
Just how cold is it,"
The question. coming from a man
in a warm Pullman car. seemed to
stir up all the ire that had been WE'LL
ing up i'm the system of the half
frozen native. He brushed a few
icicles off his mustache with the back
of his glove, and replied in a vicious
snarl:
It's % below zero-con-DEMN
yuh."
Sen. Moses +. ClapL Of Minnesota
stood i'm the midst of a group of
great men describing the weird
dream he had had the night before.
1T seems as if no matter where
went" related Clapp. Il was with
/ former Vice Pres't Fairbanks. Now,
why should I have dreamed about
Fairbanks? haven't thought of
him. / don't know when. II was
vivid. too. Always close by my side
was Charlie Fairbanks. dignified as
i'm real life. Can any of you fellows
interpret dreams ?"
Certainly. / can explain that. "
spoke up Sen. Borah. without a mo-
ment of hesitation It's quite simple.
/ The chances are that it was a cold
night and you had accidentally kick
ed the covers off.
Those who do not get il the first
time may have a tive-minute stop
over at this point.
Mehdi Khan. the minister from
7 Persia. eats only scant amount of
| food when he attends a formal din
ner. No matter how expensive or
appetizing a dish may be placed be-
fore him. he usually takes only a
comparatively few nibbles and let's
/ IL go at that. Yet Mehdi Khan is a
I large. able bodied person and has as
much relish for food as anyone. Ii
isn't that he is not in sympathy with
eating That is not the idea at all.
/ Minister Khan's difficulty is his dip
lomatic uniform. 1t is a handsome
uniform carrying an elaborate and
costly display OF gold lace. Once il
fitted him comfortably. But that was
before he began TO take on a bit of
weight Today he can wear il to
formal functions without sense OF
deep personal affliction only on con-
dition that he dine in the cOnserVa-
tive fashion already mentioned Why.
YOU ask. does not the minister have
IS uniform let out, or. better still.
buy himself "A new one2 All that
sounds easy. but it is no tritiing mat
ter 10 have alterations made in an
/ intricate gold lace suit that only a
Persian tailor knows how 10 take
apart. Moreover. Mehdi Khan feels
that 10 buy a more ample outfit
would he an acknowledgment OF de-
feat ar the hands OF obesity. And
he intends instead 10 do battle. Just
as soon as he can get around 20 il.
he hopes 20 take up Systematically
the u.atter OF reducing his weight.
lu that way he viii save not only his
honor and figure but the cost Of a
hiEh-priced new uniform. Mean
while he has resigned himself 70 be-
ing either hungry or miserable at
| fashionable dinners.