davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
TOWNS JOKE MAYOR
TAKES OUT HUMoR
REEVES Freak Laws Filming Winkers,
Dog Gamers and Others
In Florida.

IN floriod.
Savannah, Ga.-This man was .
nifty dresser and he carried malacoa
cane. His upper lip was adorned with
a sporty little mustache When he
was on parade, just above his yellow
suede gloves might be discerned
dainty wrist watch. And he smoked
tailor made cigarettes.
All these things the citizens of Crys.
tai River. Fla. patiently endured. But
when shortly after he set UP his hair
trimming establishment he took down
the time honored sign, Barber Shop"
and put up gilt lettered 'Tonsorial
Parlor," that was the last straw.
something had to be done.
Now, the job of Mayor of Crystal
City is no sinecure. The annual sal
airy would not keep a man in chewing
tobacco q month"; and the mayor has
to preside at council meetings be
town booster for out of town visitors,
and enforce the laws. To make the
fresh barber the goat they elected him
mayor.
He made a post election speech TO
his assembled townsmen, in which he
said he appreciated the honor that had
been bestowed upon him and that he
would endeavor to show his gratitude
by being a real mayor. There were
some smokers in the audience and aft
erwards in sundry secret gatherings
some loud outlaws. But the new mayor
went to his office and read up on all
the town ordinances, old and new
There were among these ordinances
some which had not been enforced for
couple of generations, forgotte /
freak laws that years ago had outlived
their usefulness. Among them was ono
that interested the new mayor strange
ly. 1t imposed fine Of SO IS upoI
each and every male person in the
town who failed to get cleanly shaved
before midnight on Saturdays.
The next day the new mayor called
the Town Marshal into his office and,
handing him the following obsolete
offenses he had dug up, told the mar.
shall to get busy rounding up the VIC
lators of them as well as all he newer
and more generally known ,nes:
Splitting on sidewalks, S..
Tincanning dogs, So.
Batting or trapping neighbor's chick
ems, S12.
Cursing in public, three words o;
over, SIS.
Winking at affinities, either sex.
$50 and reprimand.
Diluting milk, IS.
Abetting municipal weeds, SIS.
Smoking tobacco mixture by adults
or children, SIS.
Owning growing ROSTERS that per
form before 6 a. m, SIS.
Failure to pay dog tax, SIS.
Failure to get a shave before l."
o'clock Saturday nights, 1885.
The town marshal has BEEN faithful
to his oath of office. Half the citize is
of Crystal River have been pinched
and fined the limit for one or more of
the offenses, and mayor and marshel
are still doing rushing business And
there is no recall in Crystal River.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
SAYS he PREFERS HE'LL
TO FUTURE IN HEAVEN
InfideI Writes Own Funeral Grafton
Wants His Ashes Cast on
Graves of Friends

Shenandoah, Iowa.-Cremated and
half his ashes cast on the waters Of
the Mississippi in honor of those who
have gone down to their death in the
deep, and the other half scattered on
the graves of ten of his friends is what
Jerry Brown, famous Shenandoah
character who processes to be an in
fidel, states in his funeral grafton,
which he has already written, he
wishes done with his body.
But should the Christian story Of
Heaven and hell be true, and such
men as Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David
and Solomon be in heaven, I wish my
friends to check my baggage TO the
,ther station" says Brown in his fu-
neral document. Heaven may have
little advantage in climate, but he'll
certainly has the best society"
The ten friends who this second
oldest Shenandoah citizen wishes to
tonor with his ashes are, Joe Van
Ruskirl, A. b. West, D. c. Wills, II.
s. Holcome. D. 5. Campbell. Charles
Keenan, Dr. Cheschier. Henry Mes
NTH, Mrs. David Wlngert and D. p.
Brubaker.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
coy FED STOLEN HORSE
Cost His Last Cent; Besides Going
Hungry He Was Arrested.

Detroit, Mich.-Bert Mcdonald Of
Bedford is a lover of horses and ha 3
spent nearly all his sixteen years III
their company. This is the principe
reason why Bert withstood the panss
of hunger for twenty-four hours SO a
horse he is charged with having stolen
might not go hungry.
Bert is rosy checked, fair haired and
sturdy. His father was employed in
Detroit until q short time ago. He was
thrown out of work and Bert went to
Rochester to get a job.
The boy couldn't get the job and
walking discolsolately about the street
his attention was attracted 10 a hanu-
some horse.
Bert forgot his troubles momentar-
lily. He patted and rubbed the horse,
slapped him on the neck, then sprang
into the rig and drove away.
II was going to take little ride.'
he said in police headquarters.
thought Iwould drive t. Bedf-rd. Then
it occurred TO me that if | could sell
him l could get some pretty nice
things, and | started for Detroit"
1t was late in the afternoon when
Bert set out. He had had nothing t.
eat since morning. Night came on, AMI
Bert stopped under shed near litt, :
church, put a blanket on the horse,
wrapped the other about himself and
went to sleep.
Morning came and Bert was hungry.
The horse was nibbling at i5e planks.
Gee, old boy, you're hungry, amt
you? Well, I'll get you something TO
eat" muttered Bert to the animal.
He fished through his pockets. Ten
cents was all he found.
Both of us can't eat on that, he
thought.
"Giddap, old horse. he yelled, and
drove to a farmhouse nearby and in.
vested the 10 cents in oats.
Bert then drove to Detroit and was
trying to dispose of the rig when he
was arrested. He was taken back to
Rochester and will be tried for lar
ceny
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
Glass of Hot Water
Before Breakfast
a Splendid Habit
Open sluices of the system each
morning and wash away the
poisonous, stagnant matter.

Those of us who are accustomed to
feel dull and heavy when we arise;
splitting headache, stuffy from a cold,
foul tongue, nasty breath, acid
stomach, lame back, can, instead,
both look and feel as fresh as a daisy
always by washing the poisons and
toxins from the body with phosphated
hot water each morning.
We should drink, before breakfast,
a glass of real hot water with tea
spoonful of limestone phosphate in
it to flush from the stomach. liver,
kidneys and ten yards of bowels the
previous days indigestible waste, sour
bile and poisonous toxins; thus cleans
ing, sweetening and purifying the
entire alimentary tract before putting
more food into the stomach.
The action of limestone phosphate
and hot water on an empty stomach
is wonderfully invigorating. 1t cleans
out all the sour lamentations, gases,
waste and acidity and gives ore
splendid appetite for breakfast md
it is said to be but little while, until
the roses begin to appear in the
cheeks. A quarter pound OF limestone
phosphate will cost very little at the
drug store, but is sufficient to make
anyone who is bothered with bilious
ness, constipation, stomach trouble or
rheumatism real enthusiast CT the
subject IF internal sanitation Try
1t and you are assured that you will
look better and feel better in every
way shortly.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
GRANDMA USED SAGE
TEA TO DARKEN HAIR
She mixed Sulphur with it to-
Restore Color, Gloss, !
Youthfulness.

Common garden sage brewed into a
heavy tea with sulphur added will turn
gray. streaked and faded hair beautifully
dark and uxuriant. Just n few applica-
tions will prove revelation If your hair
is fading, streaked or gray. Mixing the
SAGE Tea and Sulphur recipe at home,
though, is troublesome. An easier way is
to get a 5O-cent bottle of Wyeth's Sage
and sulphur COMPOUND at any drug store
all ready for use. This is The old time
recipe improved by the addition of other
ingredients.
While wispy, gray, faded hair is not
sinful. we all desire to retain our youth
full appearance and attractiveness. By
3arkening your hair with Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur Compound, no one can tell,
because it does it so naturally, so evenly.
You just dampen a sponge or SOFT brush
with it and draw this through your hair,
taking one small strand at timer by
morning all gray hairs have disappeared
aud, after another application or two,
your hair becomes beautifully dark,
glossy. soft and luXuriant.
hs preparation is a delightful toilet
rcol ~ii- AMI is not intended for the cure,
INITIATION or prevention OF disease.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

15S7-These coat suits are ever pop
ular and practical This model is nice
for velvet and corduroy, for serge,
cheviot and for all strong wash fab
RIGS like linen, galatea or Bingham.
The coat may be closed in double
breasted style or turned back over the
right front in revers fashion. The
trousers are made with straight lower
edge. The pattern is cut in 4 sizes: 9.
4, and years. 1t requires 3 yards of
Al inch material for year size.
Il pattern of this description mailed
to any address on receipt of 10 cents
in silver or stamps.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
MATCHES EAGLES FOR MARKET
Aided by the Common Domestic Hen,
of Course

Aided by the Common Domestic Hen,
of Course.
Tuscon, Okla. ---Hatching eagles for
the market is the unique occupation
of Louis Apodoca. Mexican who lives
in the mountains east of Tucson. A
great many bald eagles nest in the
orags near Apodaca's home and every
few days he mana ges tn rob one OF
the nests while the parent birds are
away.
The eggs are placed under COM
mon domestic hen and eventually she
matches out brood Of fierce young
birds. After a few days the eagles
become so bellingerent that they will
whip even their foster mother. and
Anodaca places them in wire cage
to be fed by hand. When they are
fairly we'll grown he sells them 10
tourists and other persons desiring
genuine samples of the great Ameri-
can bird for pets.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
EAT LESS AND TAKE
SALTS FOR KIDNEYS
Take glass of Salts before breakfast
if your Back hurts or Bladder
bothers you

The American men and women must
guard constantly against Kidney trouble,
because we eat too much and all our food
is rich Our blood is filled with uric
acid which the kidneys strive to filter
out, they weaken from overwork, become
sluggish; the eliminative tissues clog and
the result is kidney trouble, bladder
weakness and general decline in health.
When your kidneys feel like Jumps of
lead; your back hurts or the urine is
cloudy, full of sediment or you are
obliged to seek relief two or three times
during the night; if you suffer with sick
headache or dizzy, nervous spells, acid
stomach, or you have rheumatism when
the weather is bad, get from your phar-
macist about four ounces of Jad Salts;
take a tablespoonful in = glass of
water before breakfast for ! few days
and your kidneys will then act fine.
This famous salts is made from the acid
of grapes and lemon juice, combined with
lithia, and has been used for generations
TO flush and stimulate clogged kid,cgs;
to neutralize the acids in the urine it
no longer is a source of irritation, -
ending bladder disorders.
Jad Salts ia inexpensive; cannot in
jure, makes a delightful effervescent
lithia-water beverage, and belongs in
every home, because nobody can make
a mistake by having good kidney flush
ing Any time,
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
BOYS DEPOSITS
REACH MILLION
At Age Of 10 Starts First National
Bank of chlckasha, Now Lead
fs.x

inc Concern.
Chickasha, Okla-Twelve years ago
Chickasha was a struggling country
town with no sidewalks, no ravements
nothing but hopes and future. II
was located in the Indian country and
nobody but members of the five civ
llized tribes owned property in the
town or country around. 1t was yet
the cattleman's country. There was
scarcely an acre of land under cult
walton in the country.
And. twelve years ago, Benjamin
Johnson. a 16 year old boy, the son of
Indian parents was as poor as the
proverbial church mouse. But young
Johnson was not like most Indian boys
who spent their time riding cow poh-
.es and lassoing wild steers. He was a
boy with an ideal and he determined
TO live up to it. Altho he Owned moth
ing, personally, except his little patch
of unimproved land, he had brother
and other relatives who were possess
ed of considerable wealth. and they
So, with the help of these relatives,
this enterprising youth formed the
First National Bank. The bank was TO-
Gated in a small one story frame struc
ture. People laughed at young John
son and made much fun of what they
termed his mushroom bank NeVerthe-
less, within the year there were &c.,
900 on deposit there, most of it, to be
sure, belonging to his relatives.
However, young Johnson never lost
faith in his bank, his town or his coun'
ty. The gloomier things looked and the
tighter the money became, the more
he boosted. He believed that some day
The First National Bank would have a
million dollars on deposit. Altho but
boy, he was the guiding spirit of the
institution. The bank was his hobby.
his one diversion.
Johnson joined in every movement
which made for the upbuilding of his
town and county. Finally he was elect
ed president of the Chickasha Com
mercial Club. Outsiders became inter-
ested. They not only deposited their
money in young Johnson's bank but
they boosted for it, and the institution
began to flourish.
1t was the boast of the First NatioD-
al Bank that no honest man who ever
asked for financial assistance was not
given it. In 1907, during the financial
panic, when big banks all over the
country refused to make specie pay
ments, the First National Bank OF
Chickasha, an Indian institution paid
cold cash to every depositor who ask
cd for it, Never was a clearing house
certificate issued thru the teller's
window of Ben Johnson's bank"
The bank prospered. Gradually tie
deposits began to pile up, and about a
year ago the concern was moved into
its new quarters, a five story brick
building, one of the finest in Okla
homa.
This year Grady county harves, ed
bumper wheat crop, the largest by
far in its history. The deposits in the
First National grew by leaps and
bounds. On certain afternoon a short
time ago, the dream of the Indian boy
actually came true. The cashier Of
the First National Bank of Chickasha
announced that tho deposits had thai
day passed the million dollar mark.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Wool mixture was used in this in
stance, in a pretty shade of red, fin
ished with black braid. The guimpe
is of cream colored crepe. This style
is easy to develop and is suitable for
bingham, chambrey, galatea, seersu-k'
er, serge, voile poplin, repp corduroy
or velvet. The guimpe may be of linen
madras. silk, crepe or batiste. The pat
tern is cut in sizes: 4, 6, 8, 10 and IL
years. 1t requires two yards of p
inch material for the guimpe Ut under
waist and four yards for the dress fer
n 10 year sizes.
A pattern of this description mailed
to any address on receipt Of 10 cents
in silver or stamps.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
TAKEN WITH GROUP

IA few nights ago one of my patrons
had child taken with Group" writes
NJ T. Davis, merchant, Bearsville, W..
Va. "About midnight he came to my
store and bought a bottle of Foley's
Honey aud Tar Compound. Before
morning the child was entirely recover
ed" Many such letters have been
written.-Hites Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
Old Jokes as They
Didn't Originate

King Solomon: latter several hun
dred of his wives have brought pillows
for his head, slippers for his feet, a
light for his pipe, and other comforts).
"Ah, see now why they do it. Easter
is only week off and each OF them
wants ten pieces of silver from me, for
the purchase of an Easter bonnet"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

1595-What is more suitable or be.
coming for the growing girl than this
pleasing model. The fronts are open
at the neck, outlining a simulated
shield and forming smart revers that
meet the broad, round collar. The
sleeves in raglan style are comfortable
and stylish and may be finished in
wrist or elbow length. The skirt is
gathered to an underwaist which may
be of lining and overlaid with mater
ial to simulate the shield. This style is
good for serge, flannel, broadcloth,
suiting, cashmere and wash fabrics,
taffeta, corduroy or velvet. The pat
tern is cut ind sizes: 8, 10, IL and II
years. 1t requires IL yards of al
inch material for 10 year size.
A pattern of this description mailed
to any address on receipt of 10 cents
in silver or stamps.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

You seldom meet married man who
admits that he knows it all.
Many man talks thru his hat in
stead OF using a telephone.
The higher man climbs the harder
will be his fall-if he falls.
There is a much better market for
good mules than there is for bad men.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
CUT THIS QUILT is WORTH MONEY

DON'T MISS THIS. Cut out this slip,
enclose with sc to Foley G. Co., Chicago
ILL.,, writing your name and address
clearly. You will receive in return a
trial package containing Foley's Honey
and Tar Compound, for bronchial
coughs, colds and Group, Foley Kidney
Pills, and Foley Cathartic Tablets
Hite's Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
Found His Old Ten Spot.

Gypsum, Kan.-Fourteen years ag
when Charles Milleson, farmer neal
Gypsum paid his harvest hands he
missed a $40 bill, and concluded that
he had been robbed. The other day
Mrs. Milleson picked up an cid peck.
ct book the children had been playing
with for ten or twelve years, and be-
tween the lining and the pocket the
missing $40 was found.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
CRIPPLED Mother Goose Rhymes

Old King Cole
Is merry old soul,
When the mercury is down;
But during Summers glow,
He can't sell his coal you know,
And of course he goes around look
ing like he was at the funeral OF
mother-in-law.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Better get busy, girls. It's a long
time between leap years.
Time isn't always money to the man
who does credit business.
When a pusher enters the race it's a
safe bet he will beat the knocker to the
goal.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Flannelette, percale. crepe, silk,
lawn, batiste, linen, cashmere. challie
or eiderdown are all suitable for this
style The fullness is confined at the
waistline, but may be left loose if de-
sired The fronts are cut low at the
neck edge and finished with deep
collar. A neat cuff completes the one
piece sleeve. The pattern is cut in &
sizes: 80, 81, SO, 3S, 40, and AZ inches
bust measure. Size SO will require
IA yards of A inch material.
A pattern of this description mailed
to any address on receipt of 10 cents
in silver or stamps,
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
When Your Child Cries

at night and losses restlessly, you feel
worried Mother Gray's Sweet Powders
for Children Break up Colds inl24
hours, Relieve Feverishness, Constipa-
ton, Teething Disorders, and destroy
worms. Used by Mothers for % years.
All Druggists, 25c. Sample FREE.
Mother Gray Co., Leroy, N. Y. 1874.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08
MOTHER TELLS HOW Y|N0L

Made Her Delicate Boy Strong
New York City. my little boy was
In a very weak, delicate condition as
result Of gastritis and the measles and
there seemed no hope of saving his life.
The doctor prescribed cod liver oil but
he could not take It. decided to try
Vinol : and with splendid results. It
seemed to agree with him so that now he
is strong healthy boy. Mrs; THOMAS
FITZGERALD, 1890 Park Ave-, N. Y; City.
We guarantee vinol, our delicious
cod liver and iron tonic, for rundown
conditions, chrome coughs, colds ana
bronchitis.
w. c. Spring Drug Co.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

1t is a funny thing that man al
ways has to tell a woman that he
loves her, while everyone else knows
IL without being told.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

A train of thought is the real thins
in rapid transit.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Improved machinery enables a man
to accomplish almost as many things
as a woman can with hairpin.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

He who stoops to brush a banana
peel from the sidewalk is cent on do
ing good.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Charity covers a multitude Of sins,
and tailors cover a multitude of sin
ners.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

For every man who seeks glory al
the commons mouth, ninety nine seek
Il at their own mouths.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Better a barefaced lie than a two
faced woman.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Even figures that won't lie are some
times incased In tailormade gowns.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

The less wife finds about her hus'
band the more suspicious she is of his
actions.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

When a mans education is finished
be helps to swell the undertaker's for
tune.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

The value of a mans advice depends
upon the success he achieves by fol-
lowing it.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-04-08

Don't worry today; put 1t off TIL!
day after tomorrow.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-09-19
Gasser in Marion County.

On Plum run, Lincoln district,
Marion county. the Fairmont Gas
Company drilled test on the VIII
liam Wallace farm through the Fifth
sand and has a fair gasser. On Stew
arts run, Grant district, the Car
negie Natural Gas Company's test
on the David NJ. Arnett farm is a
buster in the Big Injun sand. In
Greenbrier district, Doddridge coun-
ty, the Hope Natural Gas Company
has light gasser In the Gordon
stray at its test on the L. B. Merry
man farm.
In McKim district, Peasants coun-
ty, the Otto oil Company's number
thirty-four on the NJ. f. Holdreu
farm is very light pumper in the
Cow Run sand. Stephen Mendenhall
had the same kind OF luck at his
second test on the Mary E. Davis
farm. On McKowan's creek, Walton
district. Roane county, the Republic
OIL and Gas Company has completed
and shot its number sixteen on the
Nancy C. lively farm. 1t is a ten
barrel pumper in the Big Injun sand.
Richie County Compilations.
Light wells and gassers are the re-
suit of late competitions in the Richie
county district. On Bonds creek,
Clay district, Smith, Whan and
Company are through the Big Injun
sand at a test on the William Nc
Gregor heirs farm and II Is a gas
ser. On the north fork OF Hughes
river. Clay district, the Philadelphia
Company completed a second test on
the E. r. Taylor farm and got a
gasser in the Big Injun sand. In
the same. district r. M. Diffenbaugh
completed number four on the
George Blackburn farm and had the
same kind OF luck.
On Indian creek, Murphy district,
Parrish and Grove have a six-barrel
pumper in the salt sand at number
four on the A. w. Smith farm. on
the south fork OF Hughes river the
Richie Mines Oil Company drilled
number twenty-three on the Richie
Mines tract through the salt sand
and II shows for a five-barrel pump
er. On Indian creek, in the same
district, the Hope Natural Gas Com
pany drilled a test on the William
McFadden farm through the Berea
grit and found nothing in that for
nation. A light show of oil was
developed in the Keener sand and
they will plug 1t below that Level
and shoot 1t.
ON Katy Lick run, Burning
Springs district, Writ county. G. L.
Cabot completed a test on the Nc
Conaughey & Conipany's farm and
has a small gasser in the salt sand.
On Ben's run. Union district, Tyler
county; the A. w. Johns oil Com
pany's test on the ]. H. Wells farm
Is showing for a fair producer in the
Keener sand.