New Britain herald., 1916-07-27
CHEER UP, TIT CAN'T BE HELPED.

CHEER UP, TIT CAN'T BE HELPED.
 Ever since the advent of tight headdress for men,-in later years the derby and the high silk hat,-various explanations have been advanced for the prevalence of badness among the male of the species. No matter ln hat general direction these explana- tons started, however, they invariably countermarched and came back to the derby hat and the beaver. Men were baldheaded because the rims of their hats pressed too tightly on the skull and prevented the proper nourishment of the scalp, with a consequential loss Of hair. What sins the stiff hats com 1nitted in winter the straws repeated in summer. That was the old theory, the wrong idea. According to Miss Dorothy Osborn of the Ohio State University, who has made an exhaus- tive study of the problem, badness in men is inherited just as oxen develop horns or birds grow wings. The American Genetic association Of Washington, D. C., publishes in the Journal of Heredity the results of Miss Osborn's observations on this all important topic wherein she points out that a completely bald head is rare, but that various patterns of badness are frequent in men.
 So badness has at last attracted the attention of a scientific investigator. Family histories have been exploited. ! All the skeletons have been hauled out into the open, and this research artist positively affirms, after all this, that not even typhoid fever has hand in making men bald, but that if the shall the son be doomed. Oh, cruel heredity But if Miss Osborn ex- poses the badness of her brothers, and the reasons therefore, she is no she is cruelty to the point when she directs attention to the long hidden fact that badness among women is more frequent than is generally known and that the gentler sex have fooled observers "because women can conceal their badness much more easily than men, Along this same line this investigator finds that a woman is bald only when she inherfts it from both parents. If one of her parents was bald, however, she may transmit badness to one half her sons. If a mother is bald, all her sons will be. bald whether the father has hair like Samson The daugh- ters Of such a mother will not be bald unless the father possesses a polished pate.
 These are the laboratory notes of a student, to be taken for what they are worth. They will bring great joy to many hearts and sorrow to others Tc those of Us who have expended vast sums of money, and patience, and time, in an endeavor to prolong the stay of a fast fleeing assemblage u 1lc1lI they VIII Di1llS IGSlSo IlOll Baldness cannot be helped. It is no fault of ours if a brilliant dome would shine before the world in all it's pristine nakedness. And so on down the line. Why let a corps of barbers " ear away their finger tips in forlorn effort to forestall the inevi- table? It may take money away from the barbers, but look at the time saved. If your father was bald, blame it on him. He had no right to be de- void of locks in the first place, unless his father was to blame, which, we are told, is the case. So there you are There is no getting away from it. If badness runs in the family all the hair ointment and nassage from here to Salt Creek will not avail. And if it does not, you can wear stiff hats and have typhoid fever from now until the InfernaI Regions are visited by snow storm. It is all hereditary, so cheer up. 4