Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-07-01

and he is stricken with an international
thirst of great and broad proportions,
which leads his unerring footsteps to a
saloon where they sell liquor of a sort
that makes the needles on the desert
cacti turn pale with envy.
The saloon, remember. is in the state
of Texas. Here he spends so cents of
his hard-earned silver dollar, and re-
ceived a Mexican dollar in change.
Then. singing songs of Castilian origin.
y. F. P. ]. de Junta starts toward his
native land. No sooner does he step on
Mexican soil than the international
thirst grips him again and he goes
Into the saloon kept by Senorina
Maria della Tarantula and planks down
his Mexican dollar. which is there really
worth a dollar. and gets in return a
large collection of drinks, costing so
cents in Mexican money. and an Amer
lean dollar in change. Then he
wanders back to the Texas side and
drinks, plankingr down the American
dollar and getting a Mexican dollar
in change. Having then arrived at a
state of patriotism where he offers to
lick the entire gringo army, they chase
him out across the border to Mexico.
There. in order to restore to himself
the dignity which he lost at the hands
OF the brutal Texans. he buys from the
her sandpatch whisky. so cents worth.
and having proffered her the Mexican
dollar. gets an American dollar in
change worth so cents in Mexico.
You can keep this going all day. Only
= little paper and lot of typewriter
ribbon and knack of spinning it out
with a little variation in each sue
ceeding paragraph is all you need. 1t
might be good game for parties
where literary folks gather And at
the end of the story there is Juan
Felipe Popocatapetl Juarez de (hic)
Junta, with the most gorgeous alco-
holic burden ever seen in the states Of
chihuahua and Texas combined. stag
ternational border. having started out
with one lone dollar. having spent at
least hundred dollars. and still being
in possession of the original coin.
= u = =
The text of the sermon today is:
"You never can tell" It's good verse to
remember because 1t may teach eau
It!on. These are true examples from
real life which are about to be unfold
ed Count ten before you speak. and
then. whisper. With this introduction
let US proceed:
There were four men on a street cor
,ner. They were of a kind to be seen
in every city; loafers, but well dressed
TO a degree. Their shoes were new but
"a little bit loud in their cut; their
too much in style to be of any real
service. They were all smoking cheap
cigarettes and talking loudly about
nothing in particular.
Down the street came slender
young man who couldn't have weighed
over 40 pounds. He was dressed quiet
l1y in dark gray, and was minding his
business.
AS he passed the group of loafers he
shot out his hand and looked at q
watch that he had on his wrist. This
had a tremendous impression on the
quartet OF corner athletes. They laugh
ed long and loud, and one of them
yelled. Hello. Willie. where'd you get
1.-THE wrist watch?' That's the kind of
humor one gets when he visits the
matinee centers regularly. A man who
will wear wrist watch is weak
minded sissy, according to vaudeville.
! However. those corner loafers then and
there had the surprise of their lives. The
hand on which the watch was strapped