The Caldwell tribune., 1916-09-01
THE HIRED MAN

NNAS "Oi N Sll N1ulludS " llldkC d
living and no man is at his best when
he will work on Sunday when he don't
have to do it. There are whole lot
of things in the land worse than work
ing on Sunday when you don't have it
to do, but if God ever yet prospered
a land where people generally would
disregard His wish, He has failed to
make any history of such country.
The safest thing for Sunday is to set
your water early, turn the horses out
on the pasture, send the hired man to
see his sweetheart, eat bread and milk
for dinner and supper, and go hear
some preacher talk about the resurrec-
ton.
: "Why isn't the bible as interesting as
the Sunday paper?' That is easy
enough: There is no funny page in
the bible and its katzenjammer kids
are made to look too much like our
selves, and bringing up father is too
true to nature and there is always
note in the scripture that most of us
don't like: 1t keeps telling us to quit
before the undertaken begins to pump
his pink stuff into the periaoneal
cavity of ours; while the Sunday
paper says go it boots, there isn't
any settlement day" Give the bible
a great big new purple special edition
every Sunday and create yah-yaw-
yah and let it tell how Jones killed
Smith and Brown ran off with Jacob
sons wife, and it will be read studi-
ously by everybody, nearly.
I'VE are debating which region is
best to raise our children in, the
country or town" l give it up. |
used to think the country was the best
from moral standpoint. but after
was told by merchants that farmers
put the little potatoes and runty ap-
pies at the bottom, and-sold their in
cubator refuse eggs for fresh ones,
Of the hay stacks they sold the sheep
men, and after the county attorney is
| having so much trouble with the
meanness in the county, | am about
| to decide that it is six of one and halt
dozen Of the other. We get bigger
wages in town, but then the steam
laundry gets bigger share of it, the
| ice cream cone and coca cola glass get
another dig and you have to pay about
| eight dollars more for suit Of clothes
| consistent with your Surroundings, and
| so its a toss up. | notice some pretty
wise children in both places.
q am a good looking Boise girl in
the Links college and want your
opinion about whether to go ahead
and get me a position, or accept a
pretty fair offer of marriage. II
your offer of marriage is with ar
honorable fellow who is able to make
you a living with what you can help
him, by all means renig your steno-
graphy instanter and get married by
| September first, if you can. 4or
being a good looking stenographei
will make it easier for you. | have
had lot to do with stenographers, ant
| it was always harder for me to say
NOV don't let these letters come bach
TO me another time all shot to pieces
like this" to a pretty girl than to one
who was ugly, but at the same time ar
ugly young woman singing lullaby tt
her first born child is million time
perpendicular above the pretty CIR
listening to the soft pedal from he
boss, even at sixty-five per. even /
the babe does look like its father o
resemble to large extent its mother
I am not knocking on Links schoo
either, because I have sent severa
students there. | am simply telling
you what is best
"You fellows down there must thinl
Uncle Sam is going to make an eX
ception of you and give you a big wa'
of money and not tax you up with tn
lmoney that has been spent Tor putting
water on your ground. Uncle San
don't ever give away his children,
money like that, do you Think" Uncl
Sam puts his dredges in the rivers o
eastern states and year after yea
spends millions in cleaning out tn
washed dirt, and he never thinks o
taxing it up to the people along tn
way He will put in draining ma
chimes and reclaim thousands OF acre
of lowlands, and people never ar
asked to pay back dollar of the eX
pense. He secs where there is a
onportunity to make some producin
territory, and he makes it, and that
all there is to it. Millions and million
arc spent in harborS and rivers an
lleyces and dikcs and dams tor tn
eastern people and they gobble up tn
benefits, but just when we out her
in this country are about to get tn
benefit of little of the same sort G
helm from our old Uncle, a lot OF oil
skinflints in the east and middle ives
are going to throw up their hands !
horror and almost die in jimminy II
: al lust cannot repeat thing withot
) making it different and usually muc
, bigger than it was. What am to d
| to stop giving way to my imagin;
, tion?" Next time you discover thf
, you have added little to the >stor,
lust stop right there and say to yor
listeners "now wait, that is lie IN;
! lis not the way it was told to. me at a.
| lied where I said this or that" G'
into the habit of stopping right in tt
middle of lie and straighten it u
: lust a few times like that and yor
burning imagination will not be
: liberal with it's lies. It will take
| tumble to what is liable to happe
' every times it lies. You will impro,
"A NNNt