Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-09-16
0RDS 80
ID I S C. O r ID S
BILLY'S LETTERS.

son has opened here and / think I'm
going to have one grand swell time II
| don't get 80 far in that my bank roll
will get crippled. The nights is so fine
| that it makes a fellow feel like frivol-
ing among the fair sex, and believe me
I'm working overtime already.
| didn't tell you about the frosting
got last week. / was str0lling about
| one evening with a pal when we met
| a couple of lilies that looked like a
million bones apiece. / had never
piped them before and so It was up TO
him to present me, which he did, add
ing a bunch of dust that led me to
suppose that the girl / fancied be-
longed to one Of our first families. I
chung to her, figuring on listing her
in my winter blue book. My pal wasn't
strong for sticking for the evening,
but finally made him so ashamed of
himself that he had to fall in for an
hour at the movies, said good fellow
ship on my part setting me back an
even buck, for / ran into a two-bit
reeler. That's one thing about them
pitcher shows, you never know whether
it's going to kick you for a jit or a
quarter. But l hurled my money at
the box Office grabber like if shooting
| a dollar was my favorite pastime. The
l.
company was that she chewed gum
so loud that | couldn't tell half the
time what tune the organist was play
ing. OF course / couldn't say anything
to her about It, but l thought il she
had had proper bringing up she would
slip her cud under the seat, but she
didn't do nothing of the kind and she
kept saving at IL without missing a
stroke. | was afraid that she would
miss, though. II she had did so she
would have surely dislocated her jaw.
she was going that fast She kept
chewing so rapidly that the gum would
crack every now and then-you know
what | mean. 1t made a racket like
when you pull your shoe out OF a mud
puddle. Every time this happened l
would squirm in my seat, for | ex-
pected any minute that the man be-
hind me would tap me on the shoulder
and request me to have my company
cut 1t out. But she's a pretty girl,
Chas, and she's nice. 1t was a long
pitcher-it ought to be for the price,
and me and the girl got pretty chummy.
She is one of the kind that snuggleS
close to you like if she is hard of hear
ing. If you'll notice folks in the pitch
er houses you would imagine that all
of them ought to carry ear trumpets.
vi course II the llBHLS were on LuGy
wouldn't be troubled that way. Well,
We got along very niftily. Once the
play got pretty exciting. I was hold
ing onto the side OF the seat when |
ran into one of her hands. We clinched.
She didn't kick. On the contrary she
seemed to be very much impressed.
She was You know what a grip |
have, and I gave her the sign Of every
order that | ever belonged to. but she
didn't get any one of them. ! noticed
her hand was very rough, but ! didn't
have the nerve TO ask her the reason.
She suspected that l noticed it, guess,
because after while she told me about
rowing a boat all summer on some
lake where she was one of the resort
ers. And YOU know. she says, rowing
a boat does so rOughen ones hands.
| was going 10 ask her if there was
any men around that lake, but ]
thought maybe I'd SPILL the limas, so !
kept silent. She couldn't have been
much of a scream as A resort figure if
she had to pull her own boat around.
But of course that was none OF my
business
When we left the pitcher show and
got out on the main avenue, George
he was the one who got me and Evalyn
tOgether-almos blew himself to pea
would be glad to invite us to have
bite TO eat at one Of the cafes, only.
he said if you asked for food at any
of them places after 9 O'Clock you were
liable to get walloped over the head
with a beer bottle by the waiter
because they have too much other kind
of business. with greater profits, TO be
wasting time making up ten-cent ham
ands But the reason why we didn't
get peanuts was because they were
warm George asked the man at the
stand If he had peanuts. He knew he
had them. because there were more
than fifty bags staring him in the face
when he walked up TO talk to the stand
man. But George likes to ask ques-
tions in order to shoot some of his
polished words. Are they warm, said
George. They are warm, the man re
piled. Well. if they are warm / don't
want none. said George, because warm
peanuts are not healthy, said George
And thereby George was 20 cents 30
the good. And he talked about NE
harm that warm peanuts do to the hui
man system until we said good night
Me and EyaIyn-she warned me
against using the sc" when | wrote to
her, because she said only common
folks spell her first name with the re"
We talked about the war in Europe
and / asked her how it was going 10
end. She said it would wind up in the
wives of the sultan of Turkey all get
ting a divorce from him. She said
there was sure to be trouble in Turkey
because no man-even if he was a king
could be happy with so many wives
as the sultan had. / said that the war
did not start in Turkey, but she argued
that it did. That's how much / know
about that affair.
We walked about a dozen blocks be /
fore We reached her home. Remember. !
Chas, l had never seen her before, but
she behaved like girl of class 1t (
was big house that we halted in front (
OF. She searched in her purse, threw
up her hands and said she had forgot I
to bring the front door key with her. I
So she said we had bstter sneak around (
to the rear where she could get in /
through the servants door We went