Evening star., 1916-12-25

through the publication of a speech OF
former Representative Frederick Ian
dis Of Indiana. The speech was de-
livered at an Indiana Society banquet
in Chicago. clipped from a newspaper
by Representative Longworth of Ohio,
and shown around the House until the
clipping nearly fell to pieces. Then to
make sure every member would see 1t
Representative Longworth interrupted
the debate on the District bill so that
the clerk would read 1t aloud and have
1t inserted in the Record.
And Here's the Effort.
Here is the speech:
Indiana has just finished great
campaign. and the result was due to a
diminished homicidal tendency among
republicans and to the absence of so
many democrats at Leavenworth.
TT was a campaign OF education, and
the federal grand jury is now preparing
to issue the diplomas.
I'm Washington the social season be-
gins with Congress. but with us IT be-
gins with this grand jury. and this au-
gust body opens automatically as the
polls close.
The people at home were resigned
throughout the late contest. III the
democrats won Marshall would be vice
President. and If the republicans won
it would be Fairbanks.
I'VE were bound to lose, no matter
how it went!
1--WE are In the midst of great ac-
tivity; newly elected Candidates a.e
writing "reminiscences OF their child
hood and cigarette Testimonials de-
feated candidates are withdrawing from
secret societies and entering tne insur
ance business; gravel-road contractors:
nrompted by Anglo-Saxon unrest-ano
the dictoeraph-are moving to the lar
west: party workers are closing cenar
windows with the lithographs oi ehs
heroes. those who lost election oeeS o.
dodging up and down alleysc .tt;"ns p 70
anDiicants are sending petisiohe
coneressmen and receiving garden ssouS
in renly. while multitudes from the iena
Of INV ancestors are changing ths nah" ss
OF their children from iheo"
Adolphi ,n.atisfac-
torv. whenever a man thought o.
Hughes he was for Wilson. ana ~he
ever he thought OF Wis wilson IN states se we're
cart for the gentleman whom the vo.r
ers did not have in mind WHICH, e"es
went to the polls. .t
We of the &c. o. T. were a'
disadvantage. ,.. Ala
II was charged that our nominees olo
not belong to the human race. anu w
were never quite able to supply tneni mem
with satisfactory creden.,alNss, Ns,.G,',chenn eyv
the assistance of John T. McCutcheon'
NV all odds the most enectlve repuo-
iican campaigner in the United Staess.
We were handicapped by anotnes
thing in the late night; the masses .o.iu .II
not Be convinced that our leaders real.
ly were candidates for ONCE. Wno,o
towns would come down TO the ran
road wards. where we had them on eA-
htbition. look them over: r. ana nn their i way
to a Dunkard conference somewnere.
n vas a great mistake to let anyoooy
see them!
Saws Hughes Was overtrained.
As in the case of that other great re-
nuhlican. James J. Jeffries. Mr. Hughes
was overtrained-and in both cases II
occurred in California.
Looking backward. we now reaiise
that the country would have been
saved if we had just played crooueIs Iu
Many were surprised when Mr. VII
son received the votes OF SO many
women, but that was only to be expect-
ed. The women of the country are
very grateful to the President, Whoever
he NAV happen to be; they realize tnat
If men did not have him to abuse mil
lions of them would beat their wives!
There is one thing. however. Tor
which we may all retoice-the peoPie
are thinking more than ever
Cod only knows what they're think
ing about--but they are!
Indiana is "progressive-excep on
election day. - a
her. -,
And so she is for preparedness.
She demands that amount OF II which
is necessary to prevent her belng p,I.
la0 ned by anybody except those whom
al cd nuTDOSe.
She is not provincial. and she has no
prejudice against foreign destroyers'
she simply does not need them.
She has band of statesmen who are
vnaranteed to make any place resem-
BILE a Belgian cathedral WITHIN iorty-
eight hours,
But while enthusiastically for pre-
paredness," we cannot exactly agree
as to its habits and customs.
Insist It Means Love.
The followers of Bryan insist that 1t
means boundless love; they declare that
we will never be absolutely safe till
we have at least 2o,oeo,ooo trained
Romeos
Then If the Japs should come. we
would meet them at the Golden Gate
and utterly overwhelm them Win =
game of post Office,
The adherents of the President are
heroic; they stand where Thomas stood
at Chickamauga-
They will consent to nothing less
than universal penmanship.
The "Old Guard" of my altogether
party would do nothing till
danger stood at the door, it would just
go on watering the stock till the in
yader appeared and then 1t would con-
yene the national committee of 1912
and command 1t to throw the invader
out,
Since the passage of the corrupt-prac-
tices act our prosperity has rested upon
the farm. 1t is the only thing which
does rest upon the farm. except the
president of your society-Mr. George
Ade
This gentleman has done great
thing for Indiana; he has developed her
sense of humor till it is impossible to
ind anybody willing to serve on g..
governors stan.
II is doubtful If the country could
have survived the last four years with
,ut George AIDE.
When President Wilson cold-creamed
he dictionary and powdered 1t and
iorida -watered 1t and penciled its eye
ashes and taught 1T to walk Spanish"
md enter the parlor properly and bow
Ind retire without turning its back on
my of the company" or bringing its
,ustle in contact with the whatnot-it
vas at this critical period in our ma
ional life that the head of your So
.iety became indispensable to our very
existence!
what a refuge he has been after q
lebauch Of perfect English!
When our medulla-oblongatas and
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