davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Keeping Trim Figure Trimmed
William Brady,n.D.

Women generally Try to avoid grow
ing stout, fabby or uncouth, and I'M
fortunately they have not all learned
that corsets are only a delusion and
snare for that purpose. There is
little use in preaching anti-corset pro-
paganda, however This talk is for
men. The women are welcome TO lis
ten if they are curious-they will any
way
In nearly every mans life there
comes time when he begins to put
on flesh. At first the poor fellow feels
rather proud of it. To his own eyes it
looks like dignity, it feels to him rather
"chesty,' and the tailor conspires with
him in encouraging the idea. But in
due time he finds that it is nothing but
grease, oil, fat filling in between the
muscles. He realizes with a pang Of
remorse that it is merely the stoutness
of advancing years, that he is no longer
a wiry youth, but only a fiabby, short
winded, -paunched, middle-aged,
man, and almost bald at that.
What he needs is better balanced
metabolism. His intake of food or fuel
is more than his system is capable of
burning up. The excess, in time, will
poison him. If he has the courage
and sense to realize his position and to
take reasonable precautions before the
administration of middle age begins
to harden his arteries, he may still pre-
serve fair imitation of youth, both in
looks and in feelings.
Let him learn that hearty appe-
tite is TO be curbed and restrained
that it is fine thing to skip meal
often, and still better to have milk
diet day occasionally.
And let him exercise. Walking is
ideal Tennis, golf, a certain amount
Of gymnasium work may be INDUCED
in. If it is really impracticable for
him to utilize any of these aids tC
health, then he can at least spend five
or ten minutes every night at physical
culture in his room.
The setting-up drill is first rate al
around exercise to take Then a few
bending stunts, forward, sidewise
backward. Then q ody-lifting effort
or two, lying prone and pushing NJ
the rigid body on the arms. letting il
down again, and so on, for from threS
to twenty times at session, This
must be done regularly. and always
stopped short of fatigue, in order to
escape the muscular soreness which is
so likely to follow unaccustomed exer-
else. But If even five minutes day
can be devoted to physical culture, in
a month the man will feel the benefit OF
1t upon his health. The exercises
should be taken in the nude~the skin
likes a good air bath. And they should
be carried out with a vim and spirit,
such as the gymnasium trainer de-
mands from his classes,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
cleveland (OhioI Press,

By the action of the democratic eau
Gus, called as a result of the personal
efforts of a little group of congress-
men, including Clyde Tavenner, Rob
ert Crosser and Edward Heating, the
way is open for the consideration and
record roll call vote in the house Of
representatives on proposals to have
Uncle Sam himself manufacture his
own war munitions.
Everybody who has looked into the
subject at all knows that war NUM-
| lions manufacturers have been milk
ing the government Of millions and
millions Of dollars Of illegitimate
profits on the things the government
must have in its military and naval
establishment armor plate, guns,
powder, ships and so on.
Dozens of estimates and official re-
ports have shown cOnclusively that
| the government could manufacture its
own war munitions cheaper and bet
ter the private firms.
Everything the government is now
manufacturing costs it less than it
pays for the same articles to private
firms.
If the government had had an armor
plate plant during the time it has been
buying from the armor plate trust it
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
WITH OTHER EDITORS

ly feeling that prompted you to write
us about this, and regret exceedingly
that we are obliged to disappolnt you.
Yours truly.
SEARS, ROEBUCK & co.
AS this firm receives from one to
three hundred dollars per month from
It's patrons in Bardolph and vicinity
their refusal seems like woeful lack
of reciprocity.
But the mail order business Is a
big one and it seems to be with us
to stay. For some reason people per-
sist in patronizing such concerns.
They at least think it is to their adj
vantage to do so. Indeed there must
be some advantage in such patronage
as some merchants procure their sta
tlonery from such sources, and mer-
chants are, or should be shrewd bust
ness men. So there must be some
thing in it. The one great injustice
in such dealings is that the local firms
are not given an opportunity to COM
pete. The local merchant and printer
should be given a chance, when, if
his prices are as low as anybody's, he
should be given the patronage.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Civilization mt the Cross Roads.


(By Rev Martin d. Hardin of Chicago
The hands that were pierced on Cal
vary have welded power incompara-
bly, greater over human destiny than
all the mailed fists of the centuries.
And the sword has never been substi-
tuted for the cross, Caesar for Christ,
without a moral loss ultimately cul-
mlnating in a tragedy like that which
at present engulfs Europe. Tolstoi, in
his open letter to the world at the
time of the Russian japanese war.
said:
mo enlightened man can help know
ing that the universal competition in
the armament of states must inevita-
bly, lead them to endless wars, or to
general bankruptcy, or else to both
the one and the other"
If every prophecy in scripture had
been fulfilled as literally as Europe is
now fulfilling this one, there would
not be found an infidel on earth.
But to this side of the preparedness
doctrine seem today as blindly ignor-
ant as were their kindred minds across
the sea- The horrible war, its suffer
ing. its waste, its insanity, its diaboli-
them nothing. Preparedness was fos-
tered on Europe by military minds
which insisted that this program
would insure peace: that it was "a
Yes; the cheapest swindle that was
ever worked off on a poor, gullible
| humanity. But with the whole phi
| losophy Of preparedness as a rational
way of insuring peace between ma
tons, as completely exploded as any
shell whach has ever burst over the
| bloody trenches, America, at a time
when she was never in so little dan
ger from Europe, is being frightened
| into its advocacy. At a time when ev-
cry rational mind in Europe is pray
| ing that the war may have at least one
beneficial effeCt-the end forever OF
! the nightmare Of dread under which
Europe has constantly lived for gen
| Grafton or more-America is being
asked to set an example which will be
used by every military mind in Europe
as a cogent reason why when this war
| is over Europe should proceed to re-
arm. When America ought to be ring
| ing from one end to the other with a
cry Of horror over the madness Of an
| armed world and the moral imbecility
Of a race that cannot today find some
less expensive and dangerous way OF
keeping the peace, than by adopting
an adage that was coined in the blood
lest days of heather Rome, she is, I'M
der the adroit hands Of absolute I'M
believers in the power Of Christian
truth, being swept into a course which
has landed Europe in torment and
which will fearfully handicap the
peace minds of the world in persuad-
ing their own nations when this wal
is over to find new and better basis
for international relations.
The United States at the close OF
this stupid struggle in Europe will
stand forth incomparably the great
nation of the world In men, in re-
sources, in undisturbed industry, in
all that ministers to human happiness
we will be largely where we were be-
fore this bloody slaughter began
across the sea-with this difference
only, that We will be in the posses
sion Of much of the wealth Europe
has by her madness lost. Already even
England, the creditor nation of the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
SIX GREATEST BOOKS.

If you could have only six books,
what six would you choose?
The recent effort of the president Of
Berea college to put six good books
into every cabin in the mountains of
Kentucky prompted this question two
weeks ago.
For lack of space, all the replies
cannot be printed. But here are the
first six lists that were received:
The Bible, Shakespeare in one vol
ume, Webster's dictionary, Emerson's
Essays, Franklin's Autobiography,
Aesop's Fables.
The Bible, Shakespeare, Carlyle's
French Revolution" David Copper
field" Vanity Fair" any good "Na-
poleon.
The Bible, Shakespeare. Webster's
Blue Back Speller, United States
history, a primary geography, good
pocket English dictionary.
The Bible, Shakespeare, McGuffy's
OuI III Ibtdutly FJIcOiI L Iltll IlSduti ,
Longfellow's Poems, Burns or Moore's
Poems
The Bible, Emerson's Essays, BIZ
ography Of Lincoln, Tennyson's
Poems, David Copperfield," History
of the World
The Bible, Shakespeare, diction-
airy, Emerson's Essays, Tennysons
Poems, the Journal of Sir Walter
Scott.
Commenting on these facts. a writer
in the Philadelphia North American
says:
Whether or not these may be Of as
sistance to the wise educator who has
proposed the plan Of leading ignorant
mountaineers up through good books
is not the question.
Like good many Of my readers,
was anxious TO know Just how the
state Of taste stood, as TO books. We
hear much these days about the decay
of good taste in literature Such state
ments are, in no small measure, justi-
fed. Much trash is printed and read
But, at the same time, the publishers
say there is a steady demand for that
which is not trash.
More of Dickens, Emerson, Ger
vantes and Carlyle is being sold than
ever before. There is steady hunger
and thirst for such writings. How
ever the style in novels may change,
and however the prevalent foam Of
short fiction may be dashed in our
eyes to make them smart, these worth
while writer's are not neglected.
This is a good sign. So long as
there is a large demand for such books,
we need not lament the decadence Of
taste.
One person who answered the ques-
lion as to the six best books with
list asked me to print my own.
IF / could have only six books,
these are the ones ! would choose
The Bible. Shakespeare, Emerson's
Essays, Whitman's Leaves of Grass,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
The Most Hicinns Lie.

I think, typewrites a teacher, that
the most vicious lie is the one doctor
lives or practices when he tells pa
tient time and again, over period OF
many precious months, that she has
lust rundown condition" without
ever examining the naked chest, where
as her actual trouble is tuberculosis.
Don't you think so?
Answer-Well, that is pretty indie
feasible lie, all right; but here are two
lies quite as famous, and, We contend
much in the same class: (al Santa
Claus; (b) the stork. Come, critics,
are we wrong?
Calomel for Baby.
Please tell me the proper dose Of cal
omel as d laxative for 14-months-old
baby.
Answer-It Is not a proper laxative
for baby.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
HONESTY AND TAXES.

Ever since taxes have been taxes;
ever since man has had anything ex-
cept his fig leaf which could be taxed;
in fact, ever since time began, it has
always been a question of how to reg
ulate taxes so that the greater portion
of the burden would not be thrown
upon the shoulders Of those least able
to bear it; upon the shoulders OF those
who should not be required to bear 1t.
And ever since taxes that question
has remained unanswered. Those who
have taxable property or effects which
can be hidden from the eye of the as
SCISSOR continue to try to hide them,
and the poor taxpayer who has so lit
tie that 1t is all, at all times, spread
out to the public view, will continue
to carry share Of the burden which
rightfully belongs to his more for
tunate, though possibly less honest,
brother. For 1t doesn't necessarily
follow that the poor man pays taxes
upon all his belongings because he
wishes to be absolutely honest; it Is
probably more for the reason that he
can't get away from paying every jot
and little that he owes.
There are many and devious ways
Of hiding taxable property from the
assessor, but they are all closed to
the poor man, principally because he
hasn't anything to hide. And being
closed, his taxes are far higher in
proportion than are the rich mans,
just as his cost Of living, the prices
he pays for his coarse fare are much
higher in proportion than those as
sessed the rich man for his dainty
tidbits.
The constitution Of Illinois should
be amended, giving the legislature
power to devise some solution of the
problem Of how to get the full amount
of the rich mans taxes; not of how to
find way to enable the poor man to
dodge his. And it is some job to
tackle.
There are just two courses, as we
see 1t, open. One OF them is to pro-
vide for a penalty for non-declaration
Of taxable property so severe that the
rich man will be afraid to take a
chance on mourning the punishment.
From the very face Of things the pen
atty would have to be very severe in
deed. The other course is for the leg
islature to start a series of revival
meetings, convert the rich man to
rigid course OF truth-telling, and then
leave it to his conscience But the
latter course is not at all feasible. u
is just the course that is in vogue to-
day; the same course that always has
been in vogue: and its inefficiency Is
apparent every time the assessor
makes his rounds.
The job before the legislature will
be no child's play 1t is the kind of
job that will make the deepest thinker
in the body sit up and worry. There
isn't a precedent to follow; there isn't
an example to light the path
But it is a matter of vital interest
to Illinois, and to the poor men of ILL.,
nois who haven't got enough of this
worlds goods TO have any left over
to hide Let us hope that the amend
ment will be made apd the Legislature
will find a way out Of the worst abuse
OF statutory law that has ever arisen
in this state or any other state.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
The Daily Story
Conquest in Ten Days-Ry Alan Hinsdale.

could have visited Mrs. Pelham poss,.
bly, for years without disgracing him.
self by falling In love with his friend.
wife had she behaved with the circun,
spection required Of married woman
But she did not. Alec by great effort
succeeded in cutting ont the third even.
ing, remaining away from her. Whom
he called on the fourth she pouted I,
isn't much to say she pouted, but q
expressed great deal to Alec. At snv
rate it influenced him when be left hs-
at II o'clock. she giving him her hama
at parting to hold it Just a little btt
longer than was advisa bic under tho
circumstances.
He called the very next evening and
found her on lounge covered with a
silken quilt. evidently indisposed.
I'm so glad you have come" she
said. pressing the hand he gave her and
looking up at him tenderly. I'm mt
feeling well and would not Ike to 10
alone"
Alec's countenance was full Of gym
pathy, and his eyes reflected the ten.
derness with which she had favored
him. He smoothed her pillow half
dozen times during the evening, took
her hand for the purpose Of feeling her
pulse and otherwise played the atten.
tive nurse. Though IL would seem that
invaded. she should have retired
early, Alec did not leave her TIL the
| clock struck IL.
Ten dayg-or, rather, ten evenings
Of this sort Of thing may seem a short
| time for mans sense Of honor to his
friend TO be undermined, but 1t was
enough for the purpose In this case.
Alec was one evening bending down
over the lady In the languishing fash.
| ion of lover when the door was sud
denly thrown open, and Andy Pelham,
followed by lady, stepped into the
room.
well, I like that" be said to Alec.
II leave my chum to keep my wife
from being lonely, and what does he
do
Now, Andy" said the lady who had
entered with him, this has gone far
enough. Mr.. Broadhead, I'm Mrs. Pei
ham. This young lady is my friend
| Miss
"Madge Meriweather,- interrupted
Andy, "the worst firt in America
We've put up a Job on you, old man.
I told these ladies how you felt about
women, and she bet she could bring
you down within ten days. haven't
been away at all, but upstairs every
evening that you've been here spooning
with Madge"
The expression on Alec's face was a
study. There were shame, relief and
the dawn of happiness"
"All I have to say" he finally re-
marked, as that Miss Meriweather has
won the bet"
This was Miss Meriweather's last
conquest She married Alec Broad
head.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Palgrave's Golden Treasury Les

Palgrave's Golden Treasury Les
Miserables'
But l hope it never may be nee
essary for me to select only six books.
There are six times six which
seem to m indispensable as daily com
panions.
There are sixty times six which
stand ready to serve my every need,
whim or mood.
TO have to take along only six
would be to leave behind whole rows
which mean so much-each book in
its way-as to make that parting a
thing forever to be dreaded"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
WOuldn't Donate.

Bardolph News: In view Of the fac,
that the firm named has a tremendous
patronage from Bardolph and vicinity
one of our leading citizens, a member
Of the Methodist church, sent the firm
a request for donation to the church
Improvement fund. The following
was the response from Chicago:
Dear Sir: We have your letter and
would like very much to help YOU.
However, we receive a very large
number of requests of this kind, as
you can readily understand. since we
have customers in practically every
community in the United States, and
we have found it simply impossible
to grant them.
We certainly appreciate the friend
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

ALEC, I'm engaged"
"The deuce you are!'
Eyes. | became engaged the day be-
fore yesterday"
And the reaction has set inT
what reactionT'
why, was engaged once myself
For awhile | was In heaven. Then
began to think Of what I'd done, and /
was In the other place"
That's me exactly"
Cant you get out OF itT
How"
II made the girl mad, and she shook
me-"
Good plan. I'll try 1t on"
Alec Broadhead didn't see his friend,
Andy Pelham, for a week. When they
met again Pelham wore a shamefaced
look.
"WellT' queried Alec.
81 tried your plan and succeeded ad-
mirably, but I couldn't stand the
racket. / went back to her and told
her that II she wouldn't forgive me
I'd jump In the river"
More fool you"
"Oh, you'd have done tho same thing
If you'd have been really in love-
"Not on your life"
Not long after Andy had been married
Alec received a note from him saying
that be must spend some time away
from home on business and would
Alec look out for his wife evenings
during his absence. She would be
lonely between and 10 p. m. Alec
replied that he supposed he would have
to accommodate him.
When Mr.. Broadhead called on Mrs
Pelham he found her sitting in coy
room beside a light with a pink shade
doing some fancy work. She was q
pretty woman and received him with
pleasant smile. 1t occurred to him
that perhaps his friend in marrying
had not been such fool after all. he
passed a very pleasant evening and al
10 O'Clock babe the lady adieu and
went to his club.
Mrs. Pelham had told him to come
every evening he chose during her hus
bands absence, but on no account t.
feel compelled to come. He had In
tended to remain away the second eve
ming and after dining at his club tried
to compose himself to spending the
evening there. The effort was fail
ure. At ten minutes after 8 he rang
the Pelham doorbell. There sat the
lady beside the pink light plying hel
needle, and the scene was even more
attractive than the evening before. =.
How good of you." said the hostess
ito deprive yourself of all your bache
lor pleasures to come to this dull house
to oblige your friend! You men stand
by one another splendidly. Women
won't sacrifice themselves for chun
as men do"
"Um," was the laconic reply.
1t is quite likely that Alec Broadheat
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

Wherever the threat Of a new party
headed by Henry Ford is taken SER
iously it is noticeable that it is the re-
publicans who profess alarm at the
prospective diversion Of votes. How
can peace candidate get any support
from republicans, every one Of whom
is insisting upon the nomination Of
somebody who is supposed to be
ffercely for war?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

The mule is long on wisdom, but
exceedingly short on ambition and en-
thusiasm. He knows just how much
he can pull without exerting himself,
and when that limit has been reached
he stops; but the horse will ruin him
self for life trying to come up to his
drivers expectations. Which would
YOU prefer to be?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Poor Job for Rainy Season,

Poor Job for Rainy Season.
The following ad appeared in The
Argus:
Wanted-Good single end tenoner
man for odd door department.; man
to lay out DOORS
We might consider applying for the
latter place if it was July and hot and
dry, instead of April and cold and wet
If it is in the south we will make APP
plication at once, but if it is north OF
the Mason and Dixon line We will be
compelled to insist on having good
mattress, and plenty of blankets.
OTTO, MILF and BECKE.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Lies Little FabricatOrs,

Mrs. Jones said the same thing,
dearie. Positively it is my last years
hat done over, yet everyone thinks I
just bought it new. l had no idea of
fooling anybody into believing it was
anything more than a made-over al
fair, but, if they think otherwise l
can't help it. My husband says I'm
growing so economical that he is be-
coming ashamed of me-"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Politics In the West.

/ hereby announce that | am a can
didate for the nomination of sheriff for
Billings county on the republican
ticket. / am taxpayer and have been
a resident of the county for Is years.
Your support is respectfully solicited
at the June primaries.
WILLIAM w. KUNKEL.
Better known as Six Shooter Slim
Billings county On. d. Herald
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Daily History CIass-April "a.

1731-Daniel Foe. or pefoe, author
of Robinson Crusoe" and other
works, died; born 1861.
1S91-Field Marshal Won Moltke Ger
man commander in the France
PrnsSian war. 1901, died; born
1901.
1S9S-President Mckinley called lor
volunteers to interfere In Cuba.
1918 The German troops brokethrousu
the French lines on the heights Of
the Meusa
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

CHICAGO has produced another
great humorist. He is Judge Richard
$. Tuthill OF the circuit court. He has
ruled from the bench that Shakespeare
was literary faker and that the works
credited to him were written by Lord
Bacon.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24
Heard On the Rleachers.

Heard On the Bleachers.
At Davenport game Sunday.
Gee, that must be mighty expen-
sive team"
"Why?"
"On account of the war"
Huh, don't see what that would
have to do with it
VA don't, Ell? Well, according to
reports, it's more than doubled the
price Of ivory"
Y Al ~
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

Four European kings are living in
hotels, says a news dispatch. At the
same time most Of their subjects are
living in dirty, vile smelling vermin-
infested trenches. After all, being a
king has its advantages.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

EVIDENTLY Germany is to take her
time in answering the latest American
note on submarine warfare, but what
we first had in mind was that Miss
Florence Swift of Chicago became The
bride Of Oscar Seebass of Paterson
n j., after whirlwind courtship last
ing 10 days.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-24

Somebody suggests that IN case Of
war it would be well TO put the edi-
tors Of the United States in the first
rank Of the first regiment sent to the
front. Perhaps they wouldn't wait to
he nut