The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-06-22

X MOTHER one, remarked the "A April bride resignedly, as she broke the seal of the big square envelope and scanned the con- tents hurriedly. But, thank heaven, this one doesn't mean a present. Its just an announcement of Mary Moores wedding and I never knew her very well, anyway she added as she tossed the cards toward her husband. That's good news" he replied as he glanced at the announcement. 'If this June matrimonial epidemic doesn't let up soon, we'll either land in the poorhouse or the bankruptcy courts"
 Pm dying to know about the man Mary married,' said the April bride, now that the question of not having to send present had been settled.
 That reminds me that Cousin Sally told me to tel you to call her up on the phone" said friend husband as he dashed away to jump into his car. T guess she wants to gossip about Mary S rev huSband.''
 As as friend husband had gone, the April bride called Cousin Sally, as requested, and no sooner had the conver- sation taken place over the phone than Cousins Sally arrived at the April bride s little home with her head just bursting with gossip.
 Do tell me about Mary Moore's hus- band" asked the A. B., as they seated themselves for long barley. well. to begin with, he has oodles of money" Cousin Sally imparted. 'I never dreamed shed do it because she is so unattractive," said the A. B., dejectedly.
 Yes, but you must remember Mary al ways had little way of doing the right thing and that helps toward impressing a man, you know" said Cousin Sally with finality.
 But go on and tell me-where they met, how it all happened, and everything about it, begged the enthusiastic bride.
 My Elm has just come home from the east and she attended the wedding and also brought all the gossip" said Cousin Sally, and she says they met at a dance at the White Sulphur last sum- mer. He is eight years older than Mary and is great stickler for convention and form and, as Mary has always been that way, too, they just hit off exactly Elm says their courtship was deadly dull and unromantic.'
 That must have been a great disap- pointment to the neighbors,' said the A. B. Med and I, when we were en- gagged, felt it our bounden duty to fuss bit so we could make it up, and also for the excitement it offered our friends; on again-off again, Finnigan-don't you see?'
 Mary wouldn't have stopped to such subterfuge," said Cousin Sally, disgust edly; "neghbors or no neighbors, for Mary is distinctly prunas-and-prisms person; always dignified, every hair in place. stock wound irreproachably, and every line of her tailor made expressing correctness"
 "Id rather be dead than like that wouldn't you Cousin Sally?' asked the A. B. r'It reminds me of Ned's favorite topic, Gentle Jane'-you remember 1t in Sullivan opera. Let's see, how do the lines go that Ned quotes. Oh, yes-here it is:
 Gentle Jane was as good as gold; She always did as she was told; She never spoke when her mouth was
 full,
 Or caught blue bottles their legs to pull, Or split plum jam on her nice, new frock, Or put white mice in the eight-day clock, Or vivisected her last new doll, Or fostered a, passion for alcohol; And when she grew up she was given
 in marriage Af s''f @%'h To first class earl who keeps his car
 riage."
 Now, isn't that Mary Moore to T-y-ty?" asked the A. B.. smiling ju- bilantiy. And perhaps that's the way to marry an earl"
 Cousin Sally was bound to admit that