French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1916-1919, 1916-09-07
SLUG SLAVIN SAYS
WE HAVE BIDASES
Pays His Respects to "DislOyalS" and
"SiSsyWissieS" Who Lose Govern
ment Jobs and Whine.

sometimes / wonder il l hadn't better
feel an see if I amt in bed" exclaimed
Mr.. Slug Slavin, as his furitive eye
gave the cash register the nee over
when his new mixOlogist rang up the
last purchase price. con tn square.
if politics wasn't such a lot of bull I'd
believe / was in a rance about half tn
time.
"Here I've been for a couple of years
wonderin' if we wouldn't be at war
with Germany or somebody else before
mornin' broke again, Wonderin' how
Wilson was a-gOin' to keep US out of
tn LIropean s1aughter-house an at
tn same time make tn kaiser under
stand that he'd been talkin' long
enough, an he could now shut up an
pull his freight, or quit blowin' up
passenger boats; an a lot of judases
right here in tn good ole U. S.. A.,
instead of standin' by their president
an tn best country they ever knew or
VII ever get to know, they was a'doin'
their blamest for tn king an kaiser
kind of government. Kin you beat it?
"YOu know 1 like Germans awright.
Ali us Irish like Germans. We can
fight W tn each other an get along bet
ter than any people you ever heard of.
Tn gink that thinks tn Irish an tn
Dutch they don't amount to much, has
another think a-comin' to him. After
tn Irish there amt no better people
than tn Dutch. TIL only trouble with
them is they have been eatin' out of
tn kaiseT's hand too long. If the'd
been in Ireland like us Irish fghtin'
for five hundred years for our liberty,
they'd be read to kick the kaiser in tn
c1otr Tncf00I nF HrhfSnS for him onp
his kind. If they was a-f2htin' for
their country just like us II lsh is al
ways on tn job in tn Emerald Isle,
I'd be for them from hell to breakfast.
A Stiff Upper Lip.
We'll anyhow, VIII lie ell of us in
this country has been wOnderin' an
sayin' we don't want to fight but if tn
President says: come on everybody
an take a-hand,' I guess you'd a-fOund
most of US out in front an with enough
of preparedness around to make a
pretty decent showin'. An DO. take it
from me, it certa My looked like tn
main event was a-gOin' to be pulled OFF
on several different occasions. If we
hadn't had a guy as President that had
a stiff upper lip and tn right kind of
a punch On HIM, we sure would have
been in a fine mess today. What?
Not only that, but now an. then
some smart aleck comes along an says
he's been as far away from home as
South Chicago, an he says, its just
awful how some of them there foreign
ers talks about us, an some of them
laughs at us. An 1 know they do be-
cause saw them talkin' an laughin'
at me, an I'm sure its because they
don't like President Wilson. Well. We
sure do grow some queer freaks in this
country, God knows We do. 1t must
be tn sins Of tn parents bein' visited
on is, but whatever it is, its a shame
to be Fettin' tn likes of these freaks
jump into tn yellow papers an rum
down Their own country.
"Durn tn foreigner l ever heard
give tn u. S. A. tn taught Maybe
they do it an kin get away with it
down in South Chicago. but they cant
If any of us ever hears about it. There
ant nobody what knows what 1t
means, to be in one of them king
cursed countries an tell tn natives
you're an American and that hasn't
been through the mill. We sure get
tn glad hand. Say. we sure are tn
popular children, believe me. TIL
American eagle is as welcome as the
flowers n May, an tn sight of ar
American silver dollar will throw any
ordinary foreign nObleman into a con-
nipt3on fit! You bet. Believe me-, BIO,
tn U. S. A. is ices up today in every
country in tn world, thanks to your
Uncle Woodrow! An n gink that
don't like this country ought to get his
time-check, an get it pronto!
Thew Mud at Lincoln.
my ole man useter tell us that when
Lincoln was runnin' for reelection
there was a lot of skunks sneakin'
around THROWN mud at him, an lynn
about him an calm him everything
that that could lay their dirty tongues
to.
''They was some awful lies told
about that grand old Abe Lin
coin by jus tn same kind of people
as them whats try n to stick Hughes
on us now. But, DO, you take it from
me, tn people what makes up tn Uni
ted States may be a bit slow in gettin'
started, but once they get tn right
idea and do start, Good Night Johanna,
for whatever's in tn way.
Hughes may be a nice man OF an
ice-man or anything else. but he sure
don't make no hit with me WHOM lie
m around howlin' about some
mutt los;n' his job down in WaSh'nton.
This gilly says he quit his job, aw-
right, but he says. I didn't want TO
quit. its a good job, but if you want
me to quiz. I'll quit, but I'd rather not
quit he says.
"Awright' said tn manager Of til
job, you quit an you'll save me tn
trouble Of firm you, an may De 1 KIN
help YOU to get another job where
maybe you'll be worth whatever they'll
give you an I hope you are Tor you
amt worth youE room around here.
An he says, Il think so much of what
you's been doin' around here he says
that I've made up my mind that If you
don't quit I'll close down on the Job,
for all the good you are,' he says AN
outside of that. you're awright!
$50. of course, tn guy he quit, but