davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
WITH OTHER EDITORS
THAN OURS
GIVING MOTHER A DAY OFF.
washington Times)

washington Times
Has it ever occurred to any of
the efficiency experts. cost OF living
computers. and welfare workers.
that there is one important economic
factor that never gets consideration?
Does mother ever get day off?
At first glance this seems a ride
ulous inquiry. But second thought
strips it OF amusing qualities How
many mothers are given a day off?
How many business institutions or
industrial concerns could exist if the
general manager were required to
work with the persistence and
monotony imposed on mothers?
When one employs a servant. the
matter Of the day off" must be
settled before a agreement can be
reached. The same is true OF nurse.
laundress, housemaid, cook. butler
all persons employed in domestic
service except only that one person
who does the work OF all these ser
wants in a great majority of homes.
Everybody gets a day off but
mother, and she works all the time
to paraphrase the once popular
song.
Mother works so continuously that
most of US don't realize exactly
what she does. Why wouldn't it be
a good idea TO start a campaign for
a Mothers Day off.
Why wouldn't it be a good plan
for everybody in the district on
certain day-say June 1-ordain
that mother shall not be called at
$50 to begin the days work; that
father and the children will get
their own breakfast; that Clarice
shall do the sweeping and busting;
that father shall see that all but
tons are on and faces washed be-
fore the children start to school;
likewise let father give the orders
to the grocer, or. better yet. let the
family take dinner at a restaurant
for the day
On this day mother is not to be
disturbed. She is TO be permitted
to go where she listeth. No cues
tions are to be addressed TO her re-
garding domestic affairs. She is TO
rise when she likes, go where she
likes, stay as long as she likes. She
will have a night key and let herself
in when she completes her day. The
family is to do exactly as though
for one day mother wasn't.
1t looks like a good thing. Won't
somebody please start the thing?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
lESl

do you think they'll want a
speech that long?" somebody in
quired.
Il hope you don't call that long,
answered Tom, in hurt tone.
Would you expect a man to get
up and pay a proper tribute to the
state Of Montana in any less time?''
On the day he was to deliver his
great speech in San Francisco. Tom
learned, by the merest chance, that
there was TO be a ball game that
afternoon to decide a championship
between two high school teams
across the bay in Oakland. He
found that if his speech was placed
at the front part of the program at
the Montana building he might reach
Oakland in time TO see most Of that
game. AS a matter of fact, the
Montana people had saved Tom for
the last, i'm order TO wind up the pro-
gram in burst OF good rhetoric and
glory. But they agreed to advance
him TO a forward position. There
was just one speaker ahead Of Tom.
IF this speaker had talked only a
few minutes the audience would
have heard a great deal more from
Tom Stout; but, unfortunately, the
man occupied nearly half an hour.
Tom saw that he was in danger OF
missing part of that game over in
Oakland. So when il came his turn
he condensed his carefully prepared
remarks to just five minutes. Then
pleasantly excused himself on the
plea of having an important engage
ment. and FASTENED by taxicab to
the Oakland ferry.
Last summer Tom and a number
OF friends made arrangements to go
on two weeks finishing trip up in
the mountains. They were to make
the journey by automobile. The
various members Of the party de-
sired to start, as it happened, on
Wednesday-tha is, all except Tom
Stout. He was extremely anxious to
delay the start until the following
Monday. No one was able to find
/ out just why he wished TO postpone
the trip All the others could get
out OF Tom was that there were
some matters" which required his
presence at home on Sunday. Final
" he agreed to start with the others
on wednesday, but said he would
have to return by Sunday. and then
rejoin the party Monday
And what do you suppose 1t was
that required his return home over
Sunday?
Simply that he wished 10 be near
a telegraph office to receive the score
| by innings from a game that he was
! interested in between New York and
Philadelphia.
Tom would walk almost as far 70
watch a good box score as he would
/ TO witness a game itself.
| And he remembers most Of the
| box scores of nearly all the games
Of the major and minor leagues
| played since he was old enough TO
read. Walk up 10 Tom Stout sud-
denly and ask him who played sec
ond base [or Kansas City in 1889,
and what his batting average was,
and Tom can tell you, the chances
are. without even pausing TO think.
II you were TO ask him what book
has had the most helpful influence
on his young life. Tom would
promptly inform you that the worlds
greatest book, with the possible ex-
ception Of the Bible. is Spalding's
/ Official Baseball Guide.
II the baseball fans Of this nation
had any get-up 70 them they would
start a fund for the purpose OF be-
slowing upon Tom Stout some kind
OF suitably engraved, expensive, big
I gold medal.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
MISPLACED SYMPATHY.

Through the busy down town
streets a stalwart policeman led a
little child by the hand. A mother
Unlocking young woman paused be-
fore them for a moment Then,
in a sudden burst Of sympathy, she
bent over the child and kissed her.
Poor lamb! She looks SO cold ana
starved-like, and she hasn't been
washed for week. Some folks can
not be trusted with children. wicked.
cruel things they are. Where did
you find the child. policeman"
Find the child. woman" snort
ed the policeman, angrily. Il didn't
ind her at all She's my own kid. j"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
WHAT HE WAS WAITING FOR.

The minister was hard at work
repairing the fence Of his chicken
yard Noticing the careful atten-
ton given 10 the work by a small
son OF his next door neighbOr. the
clergyman asked kindly:
Are you getting some points on
carpentry. Harold ,"
NO. sir" said Harold. I'm just
awaitin To hear wot a preacher
says Wen ne mashes his thumb Wit
de hammer. Ladies' Home Jour
nal
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
WHAT'S SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE

The teacher was telling her class
a long. highly embellished story Of
Santa. Claus. and the mirth OF Willie
Jones eventually got entirely be-
yond his control.
Willie" said the teacher sternly,
what did I whip you for yester-
day ?"
Fer lynn" promptly answered
Willie: AN I was jest wonderin'
who was goin 10 whip you
Ladies' Home Journal.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
WE Rl1NG THIS ONE IN.

All of the Society Bellies are wear
ing bell-shaped hats this year A
fair maid who resides in our neigh
bOrhoOd bought one but her pet
poodle got hold of 1t. Now it resem-
bles the Liberty Bell. To make mat
tiers worse her small sister whose
name is Knelle. keeps saying Il
tolled YOU 50" No wonder bell
shaped hats have no more peal for
this Belle.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

and the popular party with former Premier venizeos
its head growing popular than ever everything
point o revolution
The king always has simple way out. All he has
do get the assistance he is TO join the
allies But ne seems determined do that And
so his stubborn friendship for Germany-or. he in
sists. his loyalty his country may him his
crown
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

"One wife too many" exclaimed
Mrs Wederly, as she glanced at the
headlines of her husbands paper.
- suppose that is an account Of the
doings Of some bigamist2"
p --eN--t- = -4s1s-sa7ssik, -,s.s-l0- ytsss az
10 loOzs ID
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
GET THE CUE?

a Mr. English who is proprietor
of a billiard parlor at the University
of Chicago has not yet suffered re-
verses.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
PLUTT-RECNAT.

All through our Easter vacation
the weather rained supreme. said
vacation also was the only period OF
the year in which they have Eastern
time in Indiana
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
HE ALMOST CRoAKED.

(CalrO Herald
J. L. Frogee was pulled from deep
water in the ticinity of Thirty-Sec-
ond street.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
SAYS SHORTY ID.

Just because a doctor talks about
himself is no sign that he is an eye
doctor.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
STARTING AT THE BOTTOM.

(Glma, o., Tim eS-Dem O crat.)
A young man employed in the
office OF a factory was dismissed a
few weeks ago, not through any
fault OF his own but because of a
general shakeup in the company for
which he was working. The lad
had not yet reached his majority,
but was a bright and energetic grad
uate Of the local high school After
a week of vain search for similar
employment he decided to enter the
workshop Of the factory from which
he had been discharged.
To those who have held white
collar jobs the drop to oily over
alls is something Of a disgrace, and
many observers will ask of what
value a high school education can
be II it Will not start a boy out high
er up in the world. Most Of the
mechanics in the shop where the lad
is learning the trade are better paid
than he will be in several years. vet
they have no diplomas behind them
1t may appear on this ground that
the time spent in the schools was
wasted, but second thought will
change the aspect Of the matter. To
be true the youth in question is not
making at present as much as skill
ed but uneducated workmen in the
same line of work, but he is making
enough to keep body and soul to-
gVther. More than that, his office
training will enable him to work
gradually up to a point where he
Will be invaluable to the corpora
ton.
After all, this mans future may
be brighter because of his sudden
let-down. While still young he will
learn the value OF dollar, for he is
not making enough at present to
permit him TO squander. Moreover.
when he has worked up TO another
start in the office he will know the
mechanical and productive end Of
the game, whereas in his first turn
at the books he knew nothing Of
the departments beyond the office
y all. And when he reaches that
stage the company will not want to
let him go. no matter how many
heads OF the company have sons and
nephews seeking openings. And the
/ boy in question declares the me-
| chanical work makes him feel
/ healthier than the office work. His
/ high school education has given him
that much judgment, at least
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
BROKE FATHER.

First Kid-We got a piano at our
s'cN'Ulid rNIt4---.su-tic NJ. Two sOt
ours on the insoivent plan
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
1E InE-TOPPED SHOES.

Since the dresses won't go to the
shoe tops,
An editor cOyly cOnfesseS,
That. like the old Turk and his
mountain,
The shoe tops must come TO the
dresses.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

And maybe-just maybe. y'under-
stand-the above verse explains the
abnormal supply of applications for
clerkships in the local shoe stores.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

With Chaplin receiving $4,000
year" says the Salina Journal.
and the president only $4,000,
prerslrmg tnv SNOW - vienna,
Kas Ea gle
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
THE REPORTER DREAMS.

IIIE INI,f- OIN Nv IfNI-lNlfIo.
/ dreamed that slept on the editors
bed.
THAT gentleman not being nigh.)
When a vision appeared, and unstRil-
ingly said,
How easily editors lic."
And Z. d. IS still wondering if the
Milk Union is composed of Half
and Half.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

Villa so all the newspapers tell US.
is surrounded again As we get it.
he's surrounded principally by the
United States. the Pacific ocean and
the Gulf of Observation-Disclosures o..
Citizen.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

Count Zeppelin has given orders
that, on his death, his body shall be
conveyed 20 its last resting place
in one OF the machines with which
his name is associated. - Answers.
London.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES,

Little Dorothy: Oh, look Mama,
that mans head is bare-footed.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
WARNING, BEWARE BOYS!

Miss Lolita Love lives in Poungs-
town, Ohio.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

Bill White suggests that Emporia
should be fixed up so that the people
who are preparing to go TO heaven
won't be subjected TO such a great
shock when they get there.-Boston
Transcript.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01

DIR. Arthur Waite, recently indict-
ed for numbering his wealthy father
in-law, claims he has two souls and
blames his crime upon the other
soul The public is inclined TO be-
heve that he is without even one
soul.-Pine Bluff, Ark, Commercial.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-01
THE NEWS-TIMES PRINTING COMPANY
once: 20 w. Colfax Av.

SUBSCRIPTIONS Morning and Evening Editions,
single Copy sunday, Morning Evening Edition
daily including Sunday, by mall. 500 In advance
Delivered By carrier South Bend Mshawaka. 500 per
year In advance, 12c the week
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
A VIOLIN FOR A
CHRISTMAS GIFT
We have a fine hand made violin
for sale, complete outfit. Come in
and try it. Kearney Pharmacy.
IOWA INVENTORS

The following pate nts were just
issued to Iowa clients, reported by
d. SWIFT and CO., Patent Law
yers, Washington, D. c., who will
furnish copies of any patent for ten
cents apiece to our readers.
j. w Billings, Union, Descriptive
film attachment and synchronizing
mechanism; c. E. Bishop, MITCHELL
Vile, Condenser for steam engines;
c. j. Bristol, Des Moines, Tractor
attachment for automobiles; W. q
Butler, Perry, Electrical dental en-
CINE; ]. Dain, Ottumwa, Hay press;
G.. A. Donahh, Wayerly, Ice-creeper;
] Edens, Davenport, Gearing; A.
F. Kefflo, Muscatine, Grinding at
tachment for automatic button ma
chimes; T. Mitchell, Melcher Wheel
fender; d. M Morgan, Hawarden.
Toilet-paper holder; L. R. Nichols,
Strawberry Point, Package envelop;
H. Petersen, Davenport, Burner at
tachment for linotype-machines; G.
c. Persons, Greene, Stock-waterer;
J. c Thomas, Ottumwa, Press; ].
Verney, Pella, Measuring instru-
ment.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
WANTED AT ONCE
CHANCE OF LIFETIME

l have safe and honest BUSH
ness far, far beyond the ordinary
ann old and alone and already
have plenty; want an honest part
ner to back himself with little if
back him with much, he takes
charge OF office, probably where he
is, see that the orders are filled.
and goods shipped out, requiring
three or four hours each. day; act
as the banker and custodian of all
moneys, draw a regular salary of
$3.50 month and also half the
profits. No experience required, but
must be honest and of good
habits. Send reference and state
amount of capital in first letter if
you mean business and desire to
better your financial condition, as
this is positively a chance, of a
life time on account of as stated
above. w. Noles, Arcade Hotel,
Sioux City, Iowa. t.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
JOHN HAD NOT FORGOTTEN

"A party of neighbors were met
i'll Mrs. Low attls house for a Cos
sip. The sui ject on hand was as
to whether it was right for lovers
to kiss one another, ETC., before
marriage. Opinions we're about
equally divided, when Mrs. Loyatt
happened to hear her husband ap-
proachiag g. Here's my John come
ing. He VIII settle it. Now, John"
she said, I'VE have been arguing
whether kissing and such canyon
is proper before marriage. OF
course, you remember knew very
little al out SUCH things" We'll,
said John reflectively, you might
not have known very much about 1t
but more willing creature to
learn there never co1.i be-"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
WHEN SOL SCORED

Solomon and Esua were very grea
friends; indeed, so friendly were
they that Solomon did not know
how best to remi,n Esua of a Mttl
matter which remained unsettled be-
tween them. Then a bright idea
struck him, and he spoke to- Esua
thuswise. "Esua, what is the differ
ence between the words remember
and reccllect?" Esua could see no
difference. "Then," said Solomon,
let me show you uhe difference
Do you rememte err that fine waist
coat vol you hat from me?" Esua
Yes, Sol" So1omoE--"Do you re
collect paying for it?" And Esua
knew it was Soils score that thine.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
POOR SANTA
By a little Extra Boy,


The house was very dark and still,
The wind outside was roaring,
And Santa in his aeroplane,
Towards the house was soaring.
They didn't have much money,
The folks inside were poor,
And Santa Thought he would go
through
The chimney instead of the door
When Santa got to- the stove pipe,
He found lit far too small,
So he turned to go up again but
stuck
And couldn't get out at all.
The children wondered and wonder
ed,
Why Santa didn't come,
The girl wished for dolly
The boy wished for a drum.
They thought he had forgotten them
And they wouldn't wish any more
When something fell from out the
stove
And rolled right on to the floor
They ran to see what it could be
And found doll and drum
So they began to und erstand
That Santa had really come.
But Santa wouldn't have dropped
them
If he could have helped it at all,
And in trying to get to the chin
ney top
He fell right through the wall.
The people were very much sur
pnsed
When he came in the house that
way
For they thought that Santa al
ways came
BY night instead of by day.
Kenneth SQuier.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
HAD ONLY TWO FAULTS

Old Farmer spuds was very keen
on deal. Last week he manage
to SELL AN old crock in the shape
of a horse for $4,000 Honesty,
however, compelled him to speak
out. II tell yer, mate, that there
mare's got two faults" Only
two? A dozen l should think. BUT
what are the two?" Well, once
yer let that mare out ter grass,
it'll take yer about a week to
catch her; and when you do catch
her, she ainit worth catching. 9th
erwise she's all right
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
News reached here OF the M

News reached here OF the NJ
riage of Mr.. Phil Guernsey and Miss
Cecille Cook, in Chicago, Dec. LIST.
Mr. Guernsey is we'll known here
having been born and raised UNI
til early manhood in this city. He
Is youngest son of Mrs. E. A Bates
who resides in Audubon. He has
been employed in the printing
business in Chicago, for several
years.
The couple will continue to re-
side in Chicago.
We wish Phil and his bride all
kinds of happiness and success in
their future life.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Mrs May will leave Saturday for
Council Bluffs, to- get her grand
son, Deliver Stanley, who is a
student OF the Deaf and Dumb
School, bringing him home for
Christmas vacation.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Mrs. George Faust left Tuesday
for an extended visit ait the homes
of her daughters, Mesdames Sid
ney Hopkins and Robert Gransberry
and families who reside near Adair
and Casey.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
ICE

Will those who are donating for
the Pantry Sale, Saturday, for the
benefit Of the Library. please bring
in their donations and leave at
the Harvey and Hunt office.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Mr., d Mrs Kirk Knox spen
4 few hours last Sunday after
no :. at the home of Clark Gnif
fel and wife near Hamlin.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

l.. w. Hansen. daughters, Misses
Gl;'dys and Daisy autoed to At
lantic, last Sunday, to spend the
day with old Appropriateness.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Rob Christensen took j. P. Jor-
gensen, the bakery at the Christen-
sen bakery, to Atlantic, Sunday,
where he took the train for O.
maha for couple of days trip.
When Mr.. Christensen got out a.
bout two miles north of Atlantic,
on the way ihome, the car broke,
which compelled an Atlantic man
to pull him in.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Mrs. John Porter and daughter
of Marshalltown, arrived in this
city last week for a few days Wis
it with numerous relatives and
friends. She returned to her home
Tuesday afternoon.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Erode Hansen, of Lorah. was
in the hospital at Atlantic, few
days last week. recovering from a
kick from horse, which he re-
ceived
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Mr.. Henry Christensen had an
accident Saturday morning when
coming from Elkhorn, in his car.
The car slid into the banister ON a.
bridge and tore off wheel but
he was not hurt.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Will Fulton visited several days
last week at the home of his sis
ter, Mrs. j. M Kirkwood, who re-
sides near Guthrie Center.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
wan TIED

Ambitious men desiring to earn
100000 orsmore per month. Every
salesman giHee specdal training.
Unlimited opportunities. Write i'm
,mediately Power Lubricating Co.,
Detroit, Mich.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

John Jenkins returned Saturday
from Oklahoma, where he had
been for several months working.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
Cough Me 'icine TO children.

When the nervousness is caused
by constipation. as rs often the
case, you wil get quick relief by
taking Chamberlain's Tablets. These
tablets also Improve the digestion.
For sale by Kearney Pharmacy.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

A large chorus OF Extra singers
will furnish the music at the Com
munity Christmas tree next Satur-
day evening.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
NOTICE.

l am now prepared to do all
kinds of harness and Shoe repair
ing. Bring your work to the West
town store or the shop up town.
Hans Miller.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21
FOR SALE

One pedigreed Short. Horn Bull
two years old. Also some choice
bull calves.
D.14 A. ]. Young
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Miss Lucille Petersen and her
friend. Mabel Esbeck. visited at
the Petersen home over Sunday.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Miss Viola knudsen, OF near Elk
dra, came i'm Las. Friday and
Sent the day at the home o
b re atiyos, Mr.. ard Mrs. JOIN
Ande rs.n and family.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Omar lWitthauer returned to Elk
ira, Saturday, for an extended Wis
it with his father, and sister.
Miss Bessie.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

S f Hockenberry and Mr.. and
Mrs. Oscar Jensen and family were
Sunday guests of Andrew Jensen
AID wife.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Frank Heath had the care of a
sick horse the latter part of last
week and the first of this week.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Mr.. and Mrs Chris Kirk had,
their infant son baptized in the
Lutheran church of Hamlin. The
baby was named Raymond Peter
Aagaard Kirk
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Miss Christina Jensen, who has
been assisting with the household
duties at the Edwin Delahoyde
home for several months, will
leave next Sunday and return to
her home at the p. NJ. Petersen
home north of town
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-12-21

Miss Thelma Bartlett, of Brayton,
who is attending our High School,
visited from Friday until Sunday
at the home of her friend, Miss
Dorothy Delahoyde.