Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1916-12-08

4
lin Cummings Ofice-trying TO study
law and literature at the same time,
and tampering with The Monster That
Annually don't you know ?-wheSe
we found the two young students scWf-
fling round the Office, and smelling g'f
peppermint? - Hedrick, you know,
and Sweeney. Sweeney, the slim ciaaN
with the paIlid face, and frog-eyes,
and clamn1y hands! You remember ]
told You there was a pair OF 'ems
Well, they're up to something here tc>
night. Hedrick, there on the stage in
front; and Sweeney-don't you seer
with the gang on the rear seats"
''Phrenology again. continued the
lecturer, sis, we may say, species
of mental geography, as it were; which
by the study of the skull-leads also
to study OF the brain within, even as
geology naturally follows the initial
contemplation of the earth's surface.
The brain, thurfur, or intellectual re-
tort, as we may say, natively exerts
mOlding influence on the skull con-
tour; thurfur is the expert in phrenol-
Ogy most readily enabled to accurate
~ locate the multitudinous intellectual
forces, and most exactingly estimate,
as well, the sequent character of each
subject submitted to his scrutiny. AS,
in the example before us-a young
man, doubtless well known in your
midst, though, may say, an entire
stranger to myself venture to dis
close some characteristic trends and
tendencies, as indicated by this phreno-
logical depression and development of
the skull proper, as later we will show,
through the mesmeric condition, the ac-
curacy of our mental diagnosis"
Throughout the latter part of this
speech my friend nudged me spasmod-
ically, whispering something which
was jOstled out Of intelligent utterance
by some inward spasm of laughter.
'In this head" said the professor,
straddling his malleable fingers across
the young mans bumpy brow-''In this
head we find ideality large-abnOr-
mally large, in fact: thurby indicat-
ing-taken in conjunction with a like
development of the perceptive qualities
language following, as well, in the
prominent eye-thurby indicating, I
say, our subject as especially endowed
with love for the beautiful-the SUBJ
lime-the elevating-the refined and
delicate-the lofty and superb-in ma
ture, and in all the sublimated attri-
butes of the human heart and beatific
soul. In fact, we find this young man
possessed of such natural gifts as
would befit him for the exalted career
of the sculptor, the actor, the artist,
or the poet-any ideal calling; in fact,
any calling but a practical, matter-Of-
fact vocation; though in poetry ne
would seem to best succeed" swell"
said my friend seriously, "he's feeling
for the boy!" Then laughingly: He'd
rick has written some rhymes for the
country papers, and Sweeney once in
trOduced him at an Old Settlers meet
ing as the best poet in Center Town
Ship and never cracked smile! Al
ways after each other that way, but
the best of friends in the world. Swee
ney'S strong suit is elocution. He
has a native ability that way by
no means ordinary, but even that gift
he abuses and distorts simply to pro-
duce grOtesque, and Oftentimes, fidicu-
lOuS effects. For instance, nothing
more delights him than to loathfully'
consent to answer a request at the
Mite society, some evening, for AN ap-
propriate selection and then, with
an elaborate introduction of the same,
and an exalted tribute To the refined
genius of the author, pyaceed with a
most gruesome rendition Of sAlonzo
the Bra re and the Fair Innogene,' in
way to coagulate the blood and curl
the hair of his fair listeners with alb
ject terror. Pale as a corpse, you
know, and with that cadaverOus face,
Lit with those malignant-looking eyes,
his slender figure, and his long, thin
legs and arms and hands, and his
whole diabOlical talent and adrOitness
brought into play-why, / want to say
to you, it's enough to scare 'em to
death! Never smile from him,
though, till he and Hedrick are safe
out into the. night again-then, of
course, they hug each other and howl
over it like Modocs! But pardon;
I'm interrupting the lecture. Listen"
ga lack of continuity, however" con-
tinued the professor, sand an undue
love of. appreciation, would measurably,
at least, tend to retard the young
mans progress toward the consumma-
ton of any loftier ambition, fear:
yet as we have intimated, if the sub
ject were appropriately educated to
the needs demand, he could doubtless
produce high order of both prose and
poetry especially the latter though
he could very lily bear being laughed
at for his pains
'He's dead wrong there" said my
friend; "Hedricl1 enjoys being laughed
at; he's used TO it-gets fat on it!''
SIS fond of his friends" continued
the professor, "and the heartier they
are the better; might even be conviv-