The Washington times., 1916-03-14
In Fact We Print Contribu-
tons Almost Every Day,
/ But We Had To Say Some
+ thing in That Head, So
| We Started With What
! You Have Read-Uncon-
7 scious Rhyme There We
| Assure--But Honestly 1t
T Comes Natural - Cheer
| Up, You Are Almost Up
to the Reading Matter.
Hold Your Breath Now!
~ oDAY. regardless OF the encroach-
Ing spring. which reminds that
the old fur coat and the winter

FT1 oDAY, regardless Of the encroach-
ing spring. which reminds that
the old fur coat and the winter
underriDpings are getting past
their usef ilness, we are cheerful, and
~ q testimonial of such. have weeded,
vadcd. and several other things begin
ming with double you. through our cor
respondencc.
Today this column IL three weeks
old, and IL as yet unnamed.
More suggestions are solicited.
The gentleman whose ungovernable
impulse to play Jokes resulted in the
retention of the writer on this paper
says that none Of the hundreds Of
names suggested 70 far please him.
80 we must throw everything away
and begin all over again.
In view Of which. the latest sugges-
ttoh seems to make as good q begin
ming as anything. Criticism on names
suggested Is solicited.
There's many q person who can't
think OF anything original himself. but
who II a perfect genius at showing why
other Peoples suggestions are poor.
Editor New Times Column:
Why don't you call It the China Shop?
There Used to be a club we belonged to
named that Our motto was: Tie your
bsiil outside.
OR would The Grindstone'' be nearer
70 lit The idea VIII kind of be to put
q new edge on old saws. won't It?
If your husband was 1irtins on the
fre-escape with. Mrs. Next Floors
maid, how much would the window
screen7 Answer: All but four feet
,.r We'll. $50 80 long; But y you want to
yocr I'D. for a name. you can tell EN-
u was sympathy that made
MINERVUs.
~. Z. B. suggests that we move out
entirely. call This Hero Column the
CHEEKY Column and will our space to
Wtnifred Black for all time. Because
and I thinI; we all love her."
Anybody else think anything7
To the Editrix OF the Colyum:
As a respectable middle-aged
bachelor. I want to protest against
your recent remarks anent the use
of powder by the male Of the species.
You will notice that I addressed
this to the editrix. 1 know you
aren't an editor, Lecause you don't
1hnSi otohu ShO an VI thO hioio
use powder. and I'm not ashamed
of II. don't use II to initiate you,
dear lady. You couldn't possibly use
II for the same reason. I apply the
powder after shaving.
Also. wax my moustache. To
refer you to the first chapter in
Kipling's Tale of the Gadsbys."
After reading, try It out. and see II
Kipling and me aren't right
Patiently,
PAX VOBISCUM.
4 We accept the Limitation as to
powder. for shaving, but insist that
all MEN wipe as much OF 1t or as
You didn't need to tell that you
Nor why. because we know our
What we want to know is whether
you did II In hope that somebody
would try, or because you had to do
Il to retain the timourous ones who
Preparedness.
I bought a pair of skating boots,
That reached up to my knees;
I bought a leather suit to match,
And waited for a frees.
The folks all said-I took their word
That I looked nice;
But now I've waited four straight
months.
NO sign OF ice.
rye only one more hope in life,
DO you suppose
that Ford will want to pacify
The ESquimose7