davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
HURRY MEANS WORRY.
eY X. ADpINcToN BRUCE


an incitant to his generally hurried
hfe.
Always there is reverberating in
the depths OF his mind the one idea
Il shall be late, | shall be late.
Squirting him TO ever more hurried
action, this Idea fairly rivals worry
in its destructive influence.
Be strenuous II you so desire.
Nay. IL is a thoIsandfold better TO
be strenuous than TO go through life
with the inertia OF clam.
But let your strenousity be the
product OF true and deep-seated
force and energy. not merely hur
ry
The life that Is AZ once strenu
Gus and hurried Is about as danger
Gus a mode OF life as a man could
possibly adopt.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
The Daily Reminder
ToDAY's ANNIvEnsAR,rs

| lIIs--Jacob Brown. a Quaker far
n mer wn9 became comma nder- In chief
ton. y. G, Feb. "a. isss
Nle-Thc organization OF the
ed ., eSmSsu; sSse,s S ss s s,ss%plss
lssi-,old southwark theater In
fhiisdeiphia destroyed BY nrc.
"a ssIs H., n college. at Easton.
isis-Mexican forces under Arista
ana ,ss arivsn zen, across a;s,o. the RE Grsnde.
Bell, OF Tennessee. for prssident.
iset-Maj. Gen, John sedg wick kill
at Cornwall. Conn. Sept. IA. isls.
lssS-The International Exhibition
at Dublin Was formally opened by
he srinee OF Wales Edward VIZ,
Episcopal Methodist bodies met at
Cincinnati to consider the question OF
Is.t--Queen Victoria visited tho
Empress Eugene at Chislehurst.
ceeded the Earl OF Bcaconsneid as
leader OF the British Conservative
Issi-The German exhibition. a,
Earrs Court. London. was opened by
the Lord Mayor.
Australia opened by the Prince OF
IsoT-Gen. Kur,,ki OF Janan. and
the Duke OF AoruExi visited Wash
ington.
ONE YEAR AGO rODAV IN THE
WAR
Loss OF Libau admitted In the Rus.
sian official bulletin.
Italians assembled army OF 100000
on the Austrian frontier.
Paris reported German attacks be-
tween Newport ana the sea repulsed.
Field Marshal French announced
ground gained toward Fromeiles and
successful air raid by the Allies north
TODAY's BIRTHDAYS
The Archduchess Zita. wife of the
Archduke Charles and the future en-
press of Austria. born at Parma "a
Sir James 81 Barrie. famous Eng.
lish author and playwright. born at
kirrimuir. ~. X. 5s years 20 today.
William ". Vance dean OF the Unit
veTsIty Of Minnesota law school. born
al Middietown. NY. 70 years ago to-
John L. McL~urin. former United
states senator from south Carolina.
born In Marlboro county. =. c.. Sc
years ago today.
| celebrated electrical engineer and In
ven'or. born In England Sc years ago
| today.
Frank Bancroft. business manager
of the Cincinnati National league club
| with baseball. born at Lancaster.
| Mass. 20 years ago today.
Thomas A. Clarke catcher for the
l Cincinnati National league baseball
team. born In New York city IS years
| ago today.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
. DIT oRIAL PAGE

proposition. the purpose of which is all
too apparent.
Pat deserves one on the back, and here
it is.
We don't care if it is the case that the
Ford vote in Michigan stiffened the Rel
ley backbone.
II has been stiffened sufficiently for
the occasion and that is all his constitu-
ents here at home are interested In.
Go to it, Pat.
You are giving us in this instance
what we call REPRESENTATION.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
Pointed Paragraphs

Ioderr warfare has rendered
Cupid's artillery obsolete.
A woman eau be right without =
reason and man can be wrong
with one.
Zen suspect those who agree with
them ard disline those Who do not
The constitution follows the flag.
but Office seekers usually get there
ahead OF IL
Theirs plenty OF room a. the top
hut more company below with the
crowd.
Probably a sympathetic tear
comes ~ near being a panacea for
all feminine troubles as anything
on the market.
The romantic maid who waits for
man TO come along and make love
TO her after the manner OF the hero
N q novel will remain single to the
end OF the chapter
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
Dry csmpsisner Questioned.


10 the Editor Of The Times:
Under the catchy headline, Booze
Booster Caught Mapping" you &C.
crse me OF telling only a half.truth
In connection with the present In.
crease In the consumption of distill
ed spirits. You seem to think that the
use OF denatured alcohol In the
making OF powder may have caused
the increase In tax-payments on dis.
titled spirits. but the fact In that de.
natured alcohol is not subject To the
N.i0 tax on spirits used for beyer
age and medicinal purposes.
Your mistake In forgivabIe. but /
am surprised that the prohibition
campaigner, quoted by you. should
have been 40 short sighted "a 10
mislead you on point so well.
known TO every dry" campaigner In
the country.
Moreover. IL In true that liquor
production IL being limited not with
standing the increase in demsn
The output for several years &c
greatly exceeded the normal demand
that " was considered wise TO re
cuce surplus stocks amounting te
many millions Of gallons.
T. NJ. GILMORE.
Presidendent National Model IL.
cense League.
Louisville, KY, May 8, 1916.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
NO DEFENSE.

A western community elected the local under.
taker trial justice. chiefly because he had moro
leisure than any other citizen Not long ago a
prisoner WAS arragned. charged with forgery.
well Jim Brown" snarled the Judge what
have you got 10 say for yourself? Are you guilty
or not gunty?"
why Judge" answered the prisoner, course
I'm not guilty. Why. YOU know yourself can't
even write my own name.
"Notbing 10 do with IT," barkcd the judge
You're not charged with writing your own
name hold you for the grand jury. "-Harper's
MAGAZINE.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09

ing 1t TO capacity md not giving i.
the proper repairs. The inroads y,
preventable disease cooperate wi.:l
this neglect to SOW the seeds OF In.
sidious disorders while the victims
s.iIl think themselves In good health
That Is why a prominent life In.
surance company recently found that
~ per cent of It's rejected applicants
gave evidence Of disease OF the
heart, kidney and arteries. They also
checked up and found that about a
per cent Of their recorded deaths
were due to like causes.
Had these victims taken periodi
cal health inventories the breakIns
down of their internal mechanism
would have been Uncovered in tim,
10 permit Of patching and repairing
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09

detect and preveh, further inrolds
q preventable disease and the d..
orders that come from the wear and
tear ~ modern life.
Too many men are Dropping oui
al 80 vho had they heeded the rules
OF right living would still have :
credit sccoun o. 20 years more Of
active. productive iifo.
They have gone on for years over
taxing the human machine. Work.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
The Sage of Potato Hill.
~ DR.. FRANK CRANE
(Copyright. 1915. by Frank Crane)

Ed Howe is national institution ua
Is literary man in whom there is no
guile; neither is there blurb, cant, or in
sincerity.
For years he ran the Atchison Globe.
and his sayings therein were widely
quoted, simply because they were inter.
|esting.
he now is publishing monthly. the
entire contents of which he writes him
self. There is nothing like it, on earth,
IN the heavens above. or in the waters
beneath the earth. 1t is composed of
four newspaper-size pages. closely print
ed, unrelieved by advertising, headlines,
illustrations, italics, or capitals.
1t is just broad stream of horse
sense.
In all he says he does not always agree
with me. and, of course, in so far ne
might improve. The beauty of it, how
ever. is that he does not care whether
ne agrees or not, with me or anybody
else.
The main charm of his writing, per-
haps. is that he is photographed. His
whole product is distinctly personal The
consequence is, the reader gets the i'm
preston of the writer's sincerity.
The reading public is thirsty for hon
lesty. They do not like to be fooled: they
do not permanently like to be amused.
lectured, or advised; but they do like
to hear your opinion if it rings true and
comes out unafraid, whether they agree
with you or not
| If were asked the one thing that does
most to vitiate authorship would
promptly reply: An air of insincerity.
Whoever will sit down and report ex-
actly what takes place in his own mind
will find an audience. But this is the
hardest thing in the world to do. 1t is
much easier to pose, or initiate, or echo.
Montaigne had the knack, and Rous-
seau. and Emerson, and Stevenson.
If one will describe his own back yard
and put his soul in it he will do better
piece of work than if he had written of
the universe.
| His language is so simple that the
devotees of literature" think it child
ish. 1t is not it is childlike, which is
different. II so plain that the sophis-
ticated think at first he is fooling; moth
ing so plain could be worth printing. 1t
| is cranky. because any mans opinions
honestly set down will seem cranky to
the general public.
| He is now sixty-two years old and just
beginning his career, giving to the world
the most perfect example of self-expres-
sion of which am cognizant, and doing
| it purely for the JOY of his work, which
same is art.
I write this because he is national
figure, quaint, utterly American, and be-
yond the reach of my praise or blame;
you couldn't get him to pay you for adj
sertising him, and if you barked at him
he wouldn't look around to see who it is.
The sage of Potato Hill is as tree
planted by the rivers of water, gnarled
and odd as the trunk of an old apple
tree, yet prolific in wholesome fruit, and
refreshing as leafy shade In summer.
------
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
We Should Keep Pace With
Modern Phases Of Pre-
paredness.
~ NEWTON o. BAKER,
Secretary Of War.

Now the world has developed new
methods OF making war. The art OF
wal is dificult. intricate. scientific.
We should keep abreast of the times
by an adequate knowledge OF aero
planes. artillery. explosives and de-
fensive warfare. such as trench
fighting. We should learn all there
4; 20 be learned by the experience
Of the world in war so that IL we
are ever called upon to defend our
selves We won't be as unframed
az the barbarians. when invaded by
civilized peoples.
We should have IL all at hand
information regarding the mobiliza-
ton OF our social. financial. indus
trial and commercial forces. do
not think We shall get into a war
over night, suddenly. But the per
sonal analogy holds good--a man
may be very strong and yet not
know how TO defend himself with
his strength. As nation we ought
tn have skill "a well az strength
and the raw materials for self-de-
| Tense.
We ought TO be one OF the strong
nations having so much self knowl.
edge as to have the arts OF peace at
TIC highest adsptabiIity for use
when war comes.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
DAVIS, DREAM.

n. Gassaway Davis. once a United States
senator and later candidate for cc.President
ON the Parker ticket, was a brakeman before
he became millionaire and Is said on one his
toric occasion, while sleeping soundy In the SEN
ate chamber, to have dreamt that he was still
guiding an unruly freight car through the
mountains Of West Virginia. The dream was In.
spired by a nearby colleague, Senator Allen g..
Thurman, who blew two mighty blasts on his
nose Davis thinking he had heard the freight
whistle, seized his desk as IL Il were a brake
and nearly twisted the thing from its moorings
before he came to.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
SOON TO SQUEEZE, TOO.

The great German physicist Hemholtz was
the first to explain satisfactorily what keeps
the ann hot. The sun IL not burning: II IL heated
to the glowing point, like a piece Of white hot
iron, Helmholtz found that II suppose the
sun to be contracting by only $50 feet year We
would receive our present amount OF heat. In
other words, says the Popular Science Monthly.
heat in being literally squeezed out of the sun.
professor Newcomb estimated that when tho
soueex ing process has continued for about H.
900 900 years the sun Will be one-half It's pres
ont size
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
A Poem a Day
Wv COMR

wv (OWNNDE.
Comrade of mine IL he
Whose kindling eye will see
A blossom on the lea.
For whom the Wild bird song
Stiles the clamorous throng.
And heals a world OF wrong.
with such I'd pluck a flower;
For such. eutwine a bower.
On such. bestow loves dover!
Hut that man bodies me III
Whose pulses feel no thrill
At the FIRST darodil.
Tuneless. who piods tho dell.
Finding no mystic spe1
Lodged In the iIly's bell
For such. no skies OF blue.
No sunsets golden hue.
Nor dream that might come true.
John Troiand.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09

Numbers OF big
concerns nov ask
their employees 20
submit TO yearly
or twice yearly
Thysical eIsmina-
tions by qualified
physicians.
-he idea IL 20
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
MAKING A PLATITUDE CORRECT.

Tommy was undergoing chastisement at the
hands 1T his outraged mother for eating the jam.
Tommy" she said. this hurts me more than
II does you"
And when Tommy was alone he produced 3
square piece OF wood which he had placed wherO
n was needed and murmurcd rcfectvcly. II
thought that board wouldn't do her hand any
good - Ladies' Home Journal.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
From Another Point OF Tieu
By c. 7. S.

Woodbury., y. j., prohibits drinking
of city employees when on duty We have
met city employees. however, with
whose drinking this order wouldn't
seriously interfere
Chicago's postmaster moved there
from Yellville, Ark Which is, of course.
no boost for Yellville.
Buffalo has started a movement in op-
position TO tag days. This looks like a
movement that the public would really
like to help along.
There is no weather on Mars; only a
change of seasons, according TO a scien-
| fist. II may interest Mars to know that
all we have here is weather and no
changes of seasons.
| Someone has gone TO the trouble of
| figuring out that dinner table reaching
around the world Is times would be re-
CURED if the inhabitants of the world
sat down 20 meal together We aren't
particularly interested, but would like 10
remark tfat if they did, well bet we
would get the neck.
|
And ths salt would be at the other
end Of the table
| Government examiners for the ma
rine corps say men are taller in the after
noon than they are in the morning. Il
will surprise not a few who have ha6
dealings with some men, to learn tina
they settle.
4 Also, the hyphen-hated American.
> We have gone over the German re
: ply again and conclude that what it say
is aber-Ja.
2 With rich dirt for city gardens sci
ling at SO load. we wouldn't mind il "
| could. in the language of the police re
D porter, run amuck
We know the SWEETEST place 10 fish;
The fsh on biting dote:
It's hard NJ times TO keep the bass
From Jumping in the boat.
Sun FISH, perch and roach abound
o And pickerel and pike.
You tell the man ard you can catch
FL Whichever kind you like.
There isn't a mosquito round.
!. And you don't have 10 row:
They take You In a motor boat
Where'er YOU want 10 60.
The only trouble with this place
To fish. twixt me and YOU:
Ii's twenfy-seven miles from here
And gas il %.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09

The annual convention OF the
American Association for Promoting
Hygiene and Public Baths will meet
at Baltimore today for tvo-day ses-
sion.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09
The Keep Well Column
A YEARLY HEALTH INVENTORY

A yearly health inventory h the
newest form OF industrial efficiency,
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-05-09

scIf-co.ndenoe II ono OF the best
brands On the market
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
HOW MEN DIFFER FROM ANIMALS

The chief difference between man
and the lower animals lies In mans
capacity for SHINING. Obviously he
has no monopoly of the virtues. A
dog may be faithful, an elephant may
be kind and true, cat Is said to love
home and fireside; the parental In
stincts of the penguin would put nine
tenths of the leaders OF our best SO
ciety to shame. 1t is not by possessing
such attributes that animals become
almost human" 1t would be fairer to
our furred and feathered friends to
traits in fine degree is almost animal
There is a horse of vaudeville fame
that reckons simple sums in addition,
and answers wide variety of ques.
tons, if my memory serves me; will
even allow him to write his own first
name with his hoof in the sand. The
show bills call him human yet we
feel no sense of kinship as we watch
the performance, even though we
should grant him all the ratioclnation
what a wonderfully clever horse!'
bestow word of praise upon his train
er, and that is the whole story. have
seen dog perform agile tricks with
prompt obedience and obvious enjoy
ment, and to me he was still a dog.
But when some canine friend hides
on his washday; when he steals the
cats milk and pretends he did not:
when he sinks in at door with ey.
cry expression of eye and limb crying
"peccavi," all, then l say to myself,
"There is something human about that
g."-Harper's Magazine.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
TO THE VOTERS OF
CHARLEVOIX COUNTY

| hereby announce myself as a candi-
date for nomination on the Republican
ticket for member of the State Legisla
ture.
If elected | promise to support the
Republican Platform, and render faith
full service to all the people of my dis
strict
If these sentiments meet with your
approval, | will appreciate your sup
port at the Primaries August 10Th, 1916.
Respectfully yours,
EDWIN w. ABBOTT.
Boyne City, Mich.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
Announcement

| wish to announce to the voters of
CharlevoiX County that will be can
didate for denomination for the office
of Register of Deeds at the Primary
Election to be held August Doth, 1916,
and ask your support
Pol. Adv. ROMEO A. EMREY.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

ALMOST anybody can make cup
~ of coffee. But there are said to
be not over half dozen restau-
rants in the United States where they
know now to make it right.
Similarly, almost anyone can make a
cigarette. Just roll up some tobacco il n
piece of pure paper-and there you are.
There are, perhaps, over 500 brands
of cigarettes sold in this country today.
But not one of them does what Chester
fields do for Chesterfelds are MILD {;
and yet they SATISFY.
Some cigarettes may be mild, but they
don't satisfy. Only one cigarette does
BOTH-Chesterfeld
This truly unique cigarette has all
of that refreshing taste delicacy or
mildness) which any good cigarette must
have. Yet, without sacrificing any of
this delightful mildness, Chesterfelds go
one step further - they DO more than
merely please your taste . they let
sou knoi0 .yon 'vs been smoking. They
satisfy!
And yet they're mild!
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

No two women could say as much
In an hours conversation as Is express
ed in that silent book of soul commun-
ion which passes between two men
just about to take a drink.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
NOTIONS ABOUT "WIMMINn

The average woman can do moro
with hairpin in the way of manufac-
turing history than man can with a
canal boat and pair of mules.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Apparently women haven't enough
troubles in this world to keep them
busy, so they have taken to lacing
their shoes up the back just in order
to make life harder and little more
complicated for the next few months
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

When a girl tells you that she
dreamed of you the night before it is
up to you to beat it to an installment
man and dig up the furniture.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Philosophy teaches us to take things
as they come-but the trouble is that
they frequently fail to come.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

One way for a man to find out just
what woman really thinks of him ia
to make her angry.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Every girl knows lots of things that
she doesn't want you to know she
knows.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
To the Voters of
Charlevoix County.

have decided to be a candidate for
the office of Register of Deeds on the
Republican ticket at the Primary Elec-
ton, August 10Th. | have been a resi-
dent of CharlevoiX County thirty-five
years. Have held the office of Super
visor of Eveline Township ten years
and Clerk six years. If nominated and
later elected | will attend the duties of
the office to the best of my ability.
Your support is respectfully solicited
MALCOLM A. MCDONALD.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Some people are so busy criticising
creeds that they have no time left for
PRACTICAL religion.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
ROLLIE L. LEWIS for
PROSECUTING ATTORNEY

wish to announce to the voters of
CharlevoiX County that will be a
candidate for denomination on the Re-
publican Ticket for the office of Prose-
cutting Attorney, at the Primaries
August Doth, 1916.
ROLLIE l.. LEWIS.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Our idea of a lazy man is one who
would rather pay for a shave than
wash his face.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
Announcement.

To the voters OF Charlevoix County,
| hereby announce my candidacy for
nomination on the Republican ticket,
for the office of County Clerk. Please
look up my past work and if satisfactory
| will appreciate your support at the
primaries on August 10Th.
Yours respectfully,
RICHARD LEWIS.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

listers and roll top desks cover O
lot of oversights that are none of the
public's business anyway.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

A woman's happiness is never com
plete unless some other woman envies
her.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28
"A Step ForlDard
in Cigarette . Making

WE are proud to be the firm that has
brought about this important new
development in cigarette enjoyment
for that is exactly what the Chesterfield
blendsis.
This cigarette is an outgrowth of
long, ea-nest effort on the part of this,
the largest cigarette manufacturing con-
ce.n in the United States.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Suffering has no charms for one
who must suffer in silence.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

Hoe Americas largest cigarette mammfac-
turer has accomplished "the Impossible" by
producing MILD cigarette that SATISFIES.
1t is the CHESTERFIELD Cigarette
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1916-07-28

1t sometimes happens that a man
is married to his boss.