The Delta independent., 1916-10-06
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry-Go-Round.


lection. Four year agone he was agin
IL, for il was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he is for it, that immortal
Instrument has also changed its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison. the civil service Dimycrats.
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passytists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some iv thin
turned sick.
God bless ye-ye're a good man.
but We make me dizzy says Bryan.
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
min for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
throwin' him Cocked-Hat iv the vim
tage of 1909.
Here's the Army BILL says Garri-
son. How does ii suit? he axes,
Fine says Wudthrow, 'barrin'
few changes 'Ye'll redraw it, he
says. to provide says he, 'vOlun-
tary universal service in a Federal
Milishy, says he. controlled be the
states says he; AN recruited be
T.Iil lNlui ssisS ht. it
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; 'or maybe both he
says; AN the ammynition,' says he.
must be nayther too much nor too
little. says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore ! decide the daytales, for It's me
j'ooty TO kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me Off.
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
II Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays n side step.
"'F'what iv the Navy?' says Kitchin.
1t shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept in Montany. where we need no
Navy says he, and in ST. Louey.
where it shud be the biggest in the
world. Wen be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bill ye1l pass.
says he.
But this same is the Raypubli
cans BILL says kitchin starin' Yen
go an pass it says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Raypublicans votin' for the bill. DO
! dream. says Kitchin. If liver
drank. I'd t'ink l was boozed,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off.
"'How about the Army bill? axes
Hay.
Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
eye.
81 have here a BILL says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase iv five hundther
men year for twinty year he says:
an amynishun for six hours ackshun.
he says, twill make us safe from
Madagascar, measles, muckrakin'
milit-rism and marital infidelity.' he
says. AN Wen catch Willy before he
dies av he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
Embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay-afther all preparedness is
matther iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a job?' he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'Divil wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like. for yer patri-
otic service in so bravely sipportin'
me policies he says, in all their
phrases, he says, 1 make a judge iv
ye'he. says he. as well as yer frind
that We put in the Joker says the
Prisidint. 'Howly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Ph'what does this mean at all
at ally they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the Presidint. an
We so all through me train iv thought
before We come to the pork car says
he. Are we on? axes the Apostle iv
Common Counsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors. fall
ing Off. An the Merry Go Round plays
"A Wilson Waltz, (Which We know.
lawn, is wan step forward. two steps
back, hesitate an sidestep). An Tu-
multy goes out to spread the glad
tidin's that the preparation p'rade will
he led he the Presidint in person.
How does he save his face?" asked
Malumphy
"Wid his mouth" responded Finne-
gan dryly.