The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-24
ON SPUR OF
THE MOMENT
Avoid These.
~ BOY Il. n1ouLToN

Avoid These.
Men who use perfume
Women who want car windows
opened.
Man on the street who wants you
to hold baby for ii moment.
Person who blows about what he
has done He has never done any
thing
Sleepy looking mules. They al
ways kick hardest
+ Woman who knows she would
make Il great journalist.
Amateur actor who wants to re-
cite Hamlet's soliloquy.
Man who puts arm arund your
shoulders (if you are mani. 1t
means a gentle touch.
Secondhand automobiles.
Temperance lecturers with red
noses.
Man who calls you by first name
the first time you meet him.
Mr.. Binks and the Furnace.
When Mr.. Binks moved into the
new house he knew as much about
running hot air furnace as a stuffed
angora cat knows about the fourth
dimension. His experience with hot
air. had been entirely of political
and social nature.
The man who had been livi in the
house said that he had always burned
gas coke and left explicit directions.
But Mr. Binks could never remember
whether to leave the draft up and the
check down or when to leave them
both up and both down.
Mrs. BinkS had her own ideas upon
the subject and when Mr.. Binks would
pull the chains one way, Mrs. Binks
would go and reverse them. She
claimed that woman'S well known in
tuition guided her, but she always re-
VerSed the chains no matter which
way they happened to be. Between
/ Mrs. Binks and Mr.. Binks, it was in
tuition against absolute ignorance and
intuition was II to L shot
What makes your house SO cold 2"
| asked the first neighbor who called
What do you burn ?"
"Gas COKE" replied Mr.. Binks.
"All wrong, my boy" said the neigh
| Dor. TRY Solvay. 1 burn Solvay and
1 can drive you out of my house on
the coolest day.
II told you So" said Mrs. Binks
when the neighbor had departed. I'VE
must try Solvay." And they did
1T seems chilly, here to me-" said
| the second neighbor who called
| What are you burning"
81 am burning Solvay COKE" said
Mr.. Binks with all of the dignity and
finaIity of an expert
You're foolish" said the neighbor.
81 am burning soft coal and it delivers
the goods Try soft coal and you'll
never regret it."
I told you So" said Mrs. Binks
when the neighbOr had gone. We
must try soft coal" And they did.
1T seems funny you can't heat this
| place." remarked a third neighbor
who called. Now, 1 don't have a bit
of trouble heating my house and it is
much larger house than this l
| burn hard coal What do you burn ?"
Burn soft COAL" replied Mr.. Binks.
YEARLY.
you're a chump," said the neigh
Dor, try anthracite"
when she had closed the door upon
the caller 1--WE must try hard coal"
| And they did.
The man who had lived in the
| house before the Binkses moved in
came to call and said he had never
| seen the house so cold. You should
have stuck to gas coke" he said rather
disgustedly. How do you operate
| the chains?"
| I'VE put the right one up and the
left one down in the daytime, and the
left one up ind the right one down in
! the night" said Mr.. Binks.
mo, we don't" said Mrs. Binks.
Henry thinks we do, but I always
change them after he goes to bed and
| then I come down and change them
three or four times during the night
and even that doesn't do any good for
the fire is always out in the morn
ing"
ST would advise you to move into a
steam heated hotel" said the man.
ct told you So" said Mrs. Binks
when the man had departed. 1--WE
! must move into a steam heated hotel
+ And they did.