Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-17
cM0RDs 80
DIS r DIS


PRESIDENT Wilson has seen to Il
that there shall be kick in the demo
cratic campaign He has chosen for
mer football star for his manager.
| YES, it has always been our under
standing. Gwendolyn, that Fairbanks
Alaska, took it's name from the gentle
man who is now running as the re-
publican vice presidential candidate
We note your remark that they are
both cold propositions. Never having
been in Alaska, we must take your
word for it that it is a cold place.
SEVERAL citizens we're heard tC
comment on an unusual phenomenon
they reported having observed at .
O'clock Thursday morning in the form
of perfect rainbow caused by the
light Of the moon on the rain. And
we had understood that the bars closed
at II.
| 1GNATZ says that the keynoter of
|
hereafter be known as Oily James.
| WITH whiskers at both ends of the
national republican ticket it looks as
If the grand old party, as usual, was
! attempting to hide something from the
public.
| Il HAVE always been afraid of a
still man. says the president. SO are
the federal internal revenue officers
who are on duty in the Tennessee
| mountains.
HENRY F0rd's son is engaged to be
married. What would you suggest as
gift from father!
LILY Langtry, the actress, has been
sued in New York court for hotel
bill she is alleged to have failed to
settle in Chicago 80 years ago. Lii
enters a general denial. In the first
place, a confession on her part would
give us an inkling of her real age.
And that would never do for a woman,
especially an actress.
LITTLE FABRICATORS.
Children under Is years of age not
admitted unless accompanied by par
ents or guardian.
Our goods are made fresh every day.
Well be Just as glad to see you the
next time you visit our store whether
you buy now or not.
This is the first time our train has
been late in six weeks.
CHICAGOAN has gone to court in
an effort to have his fourth wife de-
ciared insane. It's cinch she wasn't
in her right mind when she took a
chance with man who already had
three trips on the matrimonial sea.
Such men nine cases in the ten are
bum pilots.
MARY Garden has been maintaining
a war hospital in Paris. She cares
only for soldiers blinded in battle.
Pretty tough-on the soldiers.
IT is said that lack of cash caused
the proposed S20O.OOO.0OO automobile
merger to fall through. Or. in palmer
language, the suckers didn't bite with
anticipated avidity.
FOOD inspectors have reported that
investigation shows the New York lob
sters palaces far below the beaneries.
AS rule when patrons of the palaces
are ready to eat they are in no con-
dltion to judge the quality of the food
they are served. So the restauranters
can't be blamed for not wasting good
stuff on them. At the beaneries the
customers get in front of the counters
because they are hungry, not because
they are thirsty.
THE Illinois republican committee
is to open state headquarters in The
Great Northern hotel, Chicago. Not
that the committee hasn't the money
to pay for quarters at the Congress,
La Sale or the Sherman. but the Great
Northern will have a stronger appeal
1or the commoner. A man with over
ais would never get by the outer guard
at the three mentioned hostelries.
unless he happened to be the house
fireman.