Omaha daily bee., 1916-12-10
BRYAN AND TEDDY
IN PLAYFUL SKIT
Mccormick and Wilcox Talk,
While Wilson Smiles, at
Gridiron Club Dinner.
MURPHY IS I'm DUTCH

lie issues enlivened the annual din
ner OF the Gridiron club tonight
President Wilson, members OF the
cabinet, diplomats, political leaders,
members and members-elect OF con-
gress, publishers and prominent in
dustrial and financial figures of the
country were guests,
Musical and vaudeville skits satir-
izing public men and events, with
members of the Washington news
paper correspondents corps in oper-
attic and thespian roles, kept the
guests in merry humor. The climax
OF the entertainment was presented
in THE Gridiron Follies of 1916" a
musical review. revealing facts, fol-
bles and fancies of the hour. The
scene for the follies was laid in La
tlayette park, opposite the White
House, and revealed as principal
characters Vance Mccormick, chair
man OF the democratic national COM
mittee, and William R. Wilcox.
chairman of the republican national
committee.
AT the close OF the opening chorus,
sung by Galaxy of States" with
the theme, Come, let us have a jolly
time, no matter who's elected" Nc
Cormick and Wilcox were disclosed
and engaged in good-natured dia-
logue:
McCORM1CK-Cheer up, Mr.. Wilcox the
battle Is over. Somebody had to lose,
MISUNDERSTANDING did.
cCORMICK-Remember you've much to
be thankful for.
WILLCoX-Yes, We lost Utah but we
saved Vermont
McCORM1CK-Never mind that Here in
the presence of this galaxy Of states we
can talk things over dspassionatey.
WlLLCO&--Say, | thought you said the
battle was over.
McCoRM1Ck-so it is, Tonight we are
just INDUCING in little caustic comment
WfLLCoX-well. If you're holding post
mortem, what was the matter with New
York?
McCoRMIcK-Murphy, curse him.
WlLLCox-What will become of the Tam
many Tiger?
McCORMJCK--It will be an open season
on tigers for the next four years. Here
comes the wandering minstrel now.
Poor Old Tammany.
AT this point the Tammany leader
entered to strains of the "Rogue's
March," and to fluctuations from
Wilcox, who said he Murphy was
I'm Dutch" Murphy replied that he
took gamblers chance and lost"
and then sang:
Forsaken, forsaken.
Forsaken am I;
The Tammany Tiger
Is turned out to die
l go to the White House
And find the doors barred a
For Wilson still lives there,
And his heart is so hard
With exit of Murphy, the dialogue
between the national chairmen con-
tinued:
WILLCoX-By the way. did William J.
Bryan participate in this campaign?
MISUNDERSTANDING. He supported the
president Loyalty.
WILLCOX-Perhaps. But he must have
had laryngitis. His voice didn't carry
as far usual.
MISUNDERSTANDING Of weak voices, the
state of Maine had some impeachment in
its speech November 7. From 1900
in September to 1000 Is some drop
WILLCOX-But Colonel Roosevelt did not
suffer from vocal trouble. His voice was
heard throughout the land.
McCORMICK-So I noticed from the re-
turns. He helped US in the winning of
the west
T. R. Gives Notice.
Here the voice of Roosevelt inter-
rupted the colloquy, saying: 81 am
now devoting my attention to my du-
ties as grandfather. But my health
is bully In 1920 the country will
know where to find me. My address
is still at Oyster Bay"
WTIJCOX-Wbat about New JerseyP
MccoRMICK-Hush. hush. we will talk
of other things.
wILLCoX-well how about Indiana?
McCoRMICK-We saved Tom Marshall out
of that wreck.
WILLcox-That's so. He was running.
wasn't he? I wonder what went wrong in
Kansas?
KANSAS--I can tell you Two-dollar wheat,
ten-dollar hogs Ford machines and player
w1LLcox-Do you think he kept you out
of war?
KANSAS dunno. But somebody got us
out Of debt.
The national chairmen continued to
comment, referring to suffragists,
Henry Ford, and the lonesome
Demon Rum" who had just been
thrown out of several more states.
The Demon Rum" sang a pathetic
song, depicting the hopeless future
for Demon Rum and his rummy
crew." when the folles closed with
the following:
McCoRMICK-It's funny, isn't it?
WILLcOx-whats funny? II anything's
funny tell it to ne. / need a laugh.
Accommodates funny how the world
keeps going around, no matter what hap
pens
WILLCOX-Yes, but It will move very
slowly for the next four years.
Bryan and T. R. Tryout.
Next came vaudeville sketch, the
scene theatrical booking Office, with
Roosevelt and Bryan, as the Crisis
Cross twins" Senator Lewis, Colonel
George Harvey and the other national
figures applying for engagements
Roosevelt and Bryan were first tried
out
T. R.-The Victoria Cross I'd greatly prize
The Iron Cross do despise;
But il l can't the hero be,
Some medals of my own you'll see
They get the double cross from ME-.
BRYAN-They got the cross Of gold from
me;
The Nobel prize rye hoped to see
Now, humbly. bearing my cross
l come
To say, You shall not cruelty
the bum
Upon the cursed cross of RUM
r. R.-Say, Willie what Is the difference
between what you intend to do to the