davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

Zapp, the only people in Germany
which amt habitual criminals, yum
derstand, died of starvation six
months ago, and if feller goes to
work and thoughtlessly eats a full
meal, y'understand, he runs chance
of spending the rest of his life,in Jail
for complication of offenses rang
ing all the way from anchovies to
zwieback."
THAT may be, Birsky," Zapp said,
"but the Kaiser could cut 'em down
on their food whole lot more, and
still the Germans wouldn't starve, be-
cause when his family doctor tells the
average American that he is making
a god out of his stomach and digging
his own grave with his teeth, yum
derstand, that's the equivalence of a
German going on a strict diet, Bir-
sky, which even today yet, it is con-
sidered in Bavaria that if man
limits himself to IL quarts of beer a
day, he is awful narrow-minded and
in way, total abstainer. So, after
all, Birsky, it amt so much stingi-
ness with the Kaiser as wanting to
make the German people as healthy
as the German army"
"The German army healthy" Bir-
sky exclaimed.
"Thats what 1 said," Zapp replied.
"The whole German army gets once
a month a vaccinating for 80 diseases
ranging from hang nails to acute
Ausdunstung. The German army
doctors is simply wonderful that way.
Every German soldier that gets killed
dies in the pink of physical condition"
"Then there is really no reason
why German soldier shouldn't live
to be hundred" Birsky suggested.
Barring accidents" Zapp said.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
CERT SMITH WAYNE AVE.
Our Postomce Box

Spring is bringing out the baseballs and
bats. and several mines" have written to
announce that they are adopting the Rain
bow for their team name this season
John Convery, North Howard street, Is
spokesman for his team and his energetic
business-lilSe letter spells VICTORY! We
strongly approve OF these athletic branches
Of the Rainbow Club, and il the members
80 desire we will print box scores OF their
games in the sports Extra" each Sat
urday night. The scores may be phoned
in In time for that edition. What do you
think Of this idea, boys2
The following children send grateful
acknowledgment for Rainbow buttons:
Dorothy WeiSeI. Marie Leoples, Billy Mel
lon, Bucknell street; Beatrice Spooner.
North 18th street. Elizabeth POrecea, Ban
croft street, and Bernard Shane.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

vertisements as the Evening News,
understand, the Evening News kills
the Crown Prince, operates on the
Kaiser for throat trouble and other
wise makes things look pretty schIecht
for Germany"
"Well, there's one thing about this
here censuring, Birsky," Zapp said.
Former times when the papers was
allowed to print the truth they was
practically duplicates, whereas, now
adays it's really worth while to pick
up a couple papers in the subway, and
even if some one threw them away the
day before, Birsky, you could read
'em with just as much pleasure, pro-
viding they amt been used to wrap
up anything sticky oder herring or
something"
"Sure, I know" Birsky said, "but
why do they call themselves news
If the Evening Moon would
change its name to 'Zippy Stories,
instead of a hundred
policemen being kept in front of its
bulletin board to prevent the Leute
using concealed hyphens on one an
other, understand me, they could be
to play checkers in the sta
ton house or fracture push-cart ped
dlers' skulls or for any other regular
police duty. Or, even better still,
why don't the censurer make them
papers send him copies to look over
after they're printed, so as he could
cut out all the lies, Zapp?"
"They done that in Europe when
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

CIT LOOKS like things is going to
be pretty serious down in Mex
tco," Barnett Zapp, the waist manu-
facturer, said.
II bet yer it does" Louis Birsky,
the real estater, agreed. "If we get
six months of that trouble in Mexico,
Zapp, it's liable to be as bad as six
hours of the trouble in Europe"
II don't know about that" Zapp
said. "I see in the papers that it
says when General Pershing gets a
little ways into Mexico he is going to
run up against some stiff opposi-
ton"
"The papers could already say any
thing about what is going on in Mex
ico," Birsky retorted, because the
Mexican news is censured the same
as the European news, Zapp, and you
are no more able to tell how many
miles the American army travels in
Mexico as how many prisoners the
German captures near Verdun 1t
all depends on the way the editor feels
about it. If he thinks the boss would
be tickled by the capture of a couple
thousand French prisoners, he cap
lures them in the home edition, 7y'un-
derstand, and if he goes out to lunch
and eats German pot roast init
Rartof fslpannkuchen and it begins to
tell on him around 3 o'clock, under
stand me, the French army chases
the Germans out of six lines of
trenches and the first page of the
Wall Street edition way back to page
3, column next to the weather re-
ports. Then again certain New York
papers is competitors of other New
York papers, and if, for instance, the
Evening Moon sinks two British
cruisers in the Baltic and also carries
10 more agate lines of dry goods ad-
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

$50, when feller goes to a restau-
rant and gives an order, he must got
to got his cards with him and have
'em punched by the waiter, otherwise
they wouldn't serve him. In that way,
the Government can find out how
much food is being EFT, Zapp, and if,
for instance, too many soup cards is
being turned in at the end of week
and it looks like the supply of soup
amt going to last through the war,
the Government partly shuts down
on soup and issues weekly soup cards
for only three plates, size 57s. That's
the way the Government keeps track
of things, Zapp."
"Also felEer's wife could keep
track of things, too," Zapp said. "Sup-
posing a German business man starts
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
The Weather
A Silver Lining
to
Every Cloud!
SATURDAY EVENING SMILES

by thiev<
Bright going climb replace
this apple which has fallen
cooked the
the co?" No lad"
"Then cook them with a nice slice of ham,"
Particular DOgate Old GentmanIf kick that dog in the ribs,
think he would barking? Small Boy OwnerMost likely
He to bark when he has his mouth full.
The YOuthSen the essonNw,
why Johnny (berly)-Boo-ool
There you've don't know
what it for!
years
day "if
mother with smile don't
old maid like Kate?"
women, isn't it,"
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

cruiting bill today. Mr.. Asquith
said that, so far as he was con-
cerned, he knew
A steel horseshoe magnet can
hold in suspension a weight up to
twenty times its own.
Iowa possesses more automo-
biles per capita of population
than any other State in the
Union. 1t is estimated that there
are over 3.1416 automobiles to
every man, woman and child in
Iowa.
A camel's hind legs will reach
its head and round its chest or
on to its hump.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
Honor Roll Contest

The prizes for the answers of Things
60 Know and Do" for the week ending
April 1 have been awarded to the fol-
lowing children:
Mary o0yle, South sOth street. 81.
Louis CataIanO, Market street, so
cents.
Elizabeth Neville. South 1sth street.
25 cents
Florence Hewth, Walnut street.
Celia Berlin, North Franklin street,
rs cents.
IsadOrs sssal, West Allegheny ave-
nue., rs cents.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

poem is all wrong-it does not sound
right Your voice sounds like the noise
made by rattling lot of tin cans in
big bag"
rs that so?" replied Billy in surprise
II am very fond of tin cans"
Then you can't expect to be a poet,
because your words will get all mixed up
with the tin cans"
"Oh, no! Then I'll write tin-can poem"
go ahead" said Mrs. Ant, so Billy re-
cited:
"oh, how love tomatoes.
l just eat all / can
And when l cannot eat them,
l put them in a can"
Billy squinted down at Mrs. Ant and
asked, "How's that2"
"A little rusty" replied the little lady,
as she disappeared in the ant hill.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
FARMER SMITHS GOAT BOOK
Billy Bumpus and die AMI

Billy Bumpus and the Ant
"Oh, how l wish / were a poetr' eX-
claimed Billy Bumpus one afternoon when
the sun was sinking beyond the Big
River. Then he went on:
Hight diddle doc,
Hight diddle dee.
With horns upon my head
I'm wonderful to see"
OUGHT said a tiny little voice beside
him, and looking down he saw Mrs. Ant.
What's the matter with you?" asked
Billy in surprise.
THAT poetry hurt me-" replied Mrs
Ant.
Hurt you?" asked Billy. ''How can
poetry hurt you? You are not bigger
than half an inch of one of my sneezes."
big or little, know the metre OF your
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

Thus Comments Louis Birsky,
the Real Estater, in Discuss
ing With Zapp the Cause for
the Conflicting War News in
the Daily Papers - From
This Interesting Topic the
Conversation, Which Started
From Remark About Mex
leo, Drifts to the Equally
Fascinating Subject of Ger
man Efficiency
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
Rainbow Drawings

The sketches below were sent in by the
following members (reading from left to
right Roy Gillespie, Lena KaehOOrln.
HAIRY sazaron, Catherine Murray, George
Ianguay. Roy Gillespie. Cecil Holm.
Aurora Nasuti Herman schenker and H.
Rokers
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
The Fairy and the Policeman

BY MARGARET WILLIAMS, Rosemont.
Once there was fairy and his name
was Puck One night he was out and
found a policeman on the corner. Puck
was very fun Of fun, and went up to the
policeman who could not see him, ana
ran on with his club. The policeman
went hunting and found il In a hollow
tree The policeman could not think how
1t got there at all. but the real truth
was that Puck had put 1t there, thinking
the policeman would not find 1t.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
NV Members

- WILLIAM BRocKERAIAN, N. 22d st.
Ny girls and boys l send to you,
A little kindness they wish 10 do.
A little sunshine, to spread each day
A little tightening of the way
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
FARMER SMITH.
EVENING LEDGER:

FARMER SMITH,
EVENING LEDGER;
/ wish to become a member or your
Rainbow Club. Please send me beau
tiful Rainbow Button free. / agree
to DO A LITTLE KINDNESS EACH
AND EVERY DAY - SPREAD A
LITTLE SUNSHINE ALL ALONG
THE WAY.
name ''s'ss'ss'-'"'"sss
Address ,..........s........
age ..ssssss.F+-s.--@-s
School attend .......--......ss.s
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
The AutObiOgraphy of a Cur Of Cocoon

The Autobiography of Cup of Cocoa
BY JACK BURGESS. Cedar Ave.
To begin with, L had better tell you
who l am / am cup OF cocoa.
haven't much TO tell about, as / was
only made about 10 minutes ago. Since
then 1 have been resting on this table
That is "a.
The reason / stop here Is because the
lady is stirring me with the spoon and /
am so mixed up that 1 can't speak
Things to Know and Do
l. Willie, the office boy. tore up this
question and all we can find Is "
club our h like you ow d.
in a mirror?
8. What does doggie have that tree
has? (FOr little people)
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

Daily TeIegraph Classified Ads are busy
little hustlerS. Try them for quick re-
suits.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08

the war started" Zapp explained,
land most of the newspapers come
out with nothing in 'em but Help
Wanted Males and Arrival of Buyers.
Then the public kicked so hard that
the censurer made it a rule if he cut
out anything, the owner of the paper
had to put something in it's place, so
nowadays, Birsky, when Mr.. Edward
Levy Lawson, owner of the London
Daily Telegraph, or Mr.. Cyril Chaim-
owitz Cholomondley, owner of the
London Daily Tageblatt, sends their
papers to the censurer and he re-
turns it to them just in time to slap
in the closing Wall Street prices and
box scores, y'understand, the editor
don't take it so particular to fix up
the blank spaces with new, original
stuff. He puts in whatever he's got
handy, and the consequences is that
the front page has got lot of arti-
cles like this:
II HE w A r
STARTLING ADMISSIONS
IN PARLIAMENT
MR.. ASQUITH'S DECISION
PROPO OSALS TO MEET
PROBLEMS OF RE-
CRUITING
The House of Commons con-
tinued the debate on the re-
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
IMAM POT ROAST AND POTATO CAKES GIVE EDITOR
CAN HAPPEN TO THE KAISER OR THE CROWN PRINCE
Illustrations HGs

And if the Evening
Moon Sinks Two
British Ships in the
Baltic and Has Ten
Agate Lines More
Advertising Th an
the Evening News,
the Latter P aper
Makes Things Look
Pretty Bad for Ger
many
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1916-04-08
THE w r
STARTLING ADMISSIONS
IN PARLIAMENT
MR.. AsQUITH's DECISION
PROP OSALS TO MEET
PROBLEMS OF RE-
CRUITING

The House of Commons con-
tinued the debate on the re-
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
LEWIS FUNERAL HELD.

Funeral services for Frank J. Lewis
were held yesterday afternoon at the
Church Of the Epiphany. Rev. DR..
Randolph II. McKim officiating as
sisted by Rev. Percy Foster Hall and
Rev. Edward Ingraham. Temporary
tntermcnt was in the receiving vault
at Rock Creek Cemetery. where the
body will remain until spring. when
il Will be removed to the family tomp
a WaterviIIe. Me.
The hOnorahy pallbearCrs were Sen
ator Charles +. johnson. Of Maine
Chief Justice Seth Shepard. l.. J.
StCllwagen, William : Washburn.
Ernest L. Bradford, Dr. Ira W Den
niSon. Thomas W. Gale. Dr W. w.
Finley. Capt w. II. Nichols. Louis r.
Peak. William +. Edmoustou, Dr. S. E
Lewis. and Walter StilsOn Hutchins.
The active palIbearers were WIN II.
Nichols. Frank Nichols. Allen Nichols,
Bernard Srein. Paul f Grove. A. T.
COumbe, +. Il. RidEeway, Hugh b.
Rowland. and Shannon Cramer.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
THE ENDLESS CHAIN"
DANGER OF CATARRH
5. S. S. the Proper Safeguard.

Catarrh Is the offspring of colds" II
Is cola In its chronic form. The air
is hlled with bacteria, which Is taken
process OF breathing. When the BODY is
IN a healthy condition no harm results
But with our modern methods of indoor
living and .sedentary occupations. the
mucous membranes are usually not able
to throw-off" this harmful bacteria
making catarrh a very common ailment
These germs breed and multiply, Causing
Inflammation, the blood rushes to the
membranes to fight on the bacilli, When
the blood is Mn a vigorous condition ITS
defensive" efforts are successful Other
wise the cold "hangs-on'-turns into ca
tarrh. Catarrh is chronic fnflamma-
ton OF the mucous membranes. Mucous
membranes are the lining on all the in
ternal cavities of the body. Get that
ALL cavities. There is the endless
chain" element of danger. II allowed
to run on catarrh will affect not only
the nose, but the throat and ear. making
you liable to deafness, pulmonary and
other troubles. Local applications are
useless. The only correct way to treat
this dread disease is to purify the blood
The surest way to purify the blood Is to
blood medicine for fifty years. s. S.
is purely vegetable compound. 1t will
not injurs the most delicate stomach,
You can set S. S. s. at every reputable
orug store. We have an expert Medical
Department, which will be glad to give
you any special advice you may desire
without charge Write the Swift Specific
Adv.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15


Experts have figured out that ten
million pounds of fish are lost every
year because fishermen pull at the
wrong instant and in the wrong
way. No fault OF the fish; perhaps
no fault of the line or bait-but
the fault of the MAN AT THE
CONTROLLING END.
And for the same reason, there's
many a good dollar wasted in ad-
vertising.
SAY something in your advertise
nents-say II wELL-say II at the
RIGHT TINE and IN THE RIGHT
PLACE. And that principle applies
equally as well to your store-keep-
ing methods.
/ know a man, a neighbor of
mine, whose store is one of the
most advantageously situated in the
city, on a populous corner. But his
business is DOOMED. 1t is gasping
its few last breaths.
why? Because no one has sue
ceeded in convincing that man that
storekeeping methods and prin-
ferent today than they were thirty
FIVE years ago when he started. He
can't seem TO grasp the new view
polnt-to gauge the new require
ments of his fast-dwindling GLEN
tele-to bridge the gap between
modern business requirements and
those in vogue a generation ago.
His store is uninviting in appear
ancs; his show windows are worse
than poorly decorated; his stocks
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
Committeeman NAMED
h. B. F. mcfarland Heads Finance
Body and DR.. L. J. Battle the
One on Public Health.

announcement was made by the Cham
ber of Commerce yesterday of the per
sonnel Of the public health and District
finance committees of the chamber. H.
b. F. mcfarland is chairman of the Dis
trict finance committee and DR.. Lewis ].
Battle of the public health body.
On the District finance committee are:
Charles ]. Bell. Wade II. Cooper, II. King
Cornwell. John Joy Edison, w. T. CALI
her, Henry H. Classic, Robert N Harper,
w. ]. Kehoe. Ralph w. Lee, Colvin II.
Livingstone. Fleming Newbold, James F.
Oyster John Poole. D. S. Porter, William
H. Saunders, James Sharp, Corcoran
Thom, Richard B. Watrous, John l.,
Weaver and Joseph l. Weller.
Members of the public health commit
tee are: DR.. Lewis J. Battle chairman:
DR.. Daniel w. Prentiss, vice chairman
Marion Butler. s. c. Cameron, John G
Capers, DR.. William P. Carr, Roy c.
CIahin, Floyd E. Davis, Dr. Clarence M
Dollmsn. William NJ Dove DR.. c. r
DuFour. NJ. ]. Falvey, Samuel Gompers,
w. r. Hardy. Joseph Jacob. DR.. Harry
Kaufman, W. ]. kehoe, Bernard Leon
ard Dr. Harry S. Lewis. DR.. A. r
Shands. A. -Leftwich Sinclair, A. Wade
wells and L. F. Zinkham.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
WEATHER CONDITIONS,

For the District Of Columbia Eastern PcnnSyI-
Tania, New Jersey. Delaware and Maryland: Fair
weather and rising tempeature Tuesday and Wed
nesiaS; moderate variable winds. becoming south
erly.
For Virginia: Fair weather and rising trm
persture Tuesday and wednesdsy moderate north
ery winds
Cold weather prevailed throughout the Eastern
States on Monday. with frezing temperature as far
south as extreme northern Florida and the lowest
temperature 50 degrees below zero at Canton n Y.
general reaction to higher Temperatures will set
IN over the eastern half of tthe country Tues
day, and moderate teInperztur will continue
thereafter during the next several days
The storm that prevailed in the Atlantic States
on Sunday has passed eastward over the OCEAN
The indications are that the weather will be fair
with general change TO high Temperatures over the
States cast of the Mississippi River during Tuesday
and "Wednesday.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15

Newspaper Syndicate.)
are habitually about eighteen
months behind the times-and he
NEVER ADVERTISES
Up the street a couple of blocks,
two young fellows are making mod
ern store-keeping history, and in
cidentally are MAKING MONEY.
Nothing is too small to escape their
.notice, IL II will bring patrons to
their store. They ADVERTISE
freely, frequently, fervently and
FRUITFULLY. 1t is THEY, who in
just one short year are knocking
the props from under the store that
has lead of thirty-five years, and
supposedly was firmly established
against competition.
Cases of this sort exist every
where and they are a sad but vivid
object lesson to those who can
ACT while IT is yet time.
Be TIMELY in your store-keep-
ing methods and in your ADVERs
TISING. Remember that TO-DAY is
YOUR OPPORTUNITY
is some other fellows.
And blessed is he who knows
WHERE TO ADVERTISE.
If you don't know, phone Main $500
and we will gladly tell yous>
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15

politan Museum, IectUred on the Art OF
Japan" illustrated with beautifully COL
or,d stereoptiCon views.
The following life members were an
rOunced as elected by the Executive
Committee: Mrs. James L. Hurley. Mrr
George w. Baxter. Mrs. Copley Collier
and Mrs. Elizabeth H. McCsua-
The next meeting will he at the r--i-
dence Of Mrs. II. =. Dlmock. on March
.. when Charles UpsOn Clark. Of Yale
University, will lecture on With Roman
and Moore in AndalUsia"
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
Do Not Favor Laboratory.

The Commissioners sent an unfayOra-
BILE report to Congress yesterday on the
bill providing for the establishment, un-
der the District government, of a lab
Oratory for the study of the criminal,
pauper and defective classes. The Com
missloners say the object is commend
able, but point out that under the Fed
eral government better results could be
accomplished.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
Big Funeral Train Given.

Paris, Feb. 1.-THE finest ambulance
train in Europe was put in service here
today. 1t is the gift of wealthy Ameri-
cans to the French army, the funds be-
ing collected by Robert Bacon, former
United States Amba ssador to France. The
train consists of sixteen Pullman cars
and accommodates 500 wounded.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
Six Join Board of Trade

The executive committee of the Wash
Ington Board OF Trade yesterday elect
ed to membership in the organization
George {. Bowie, A. n. Van Week, Her
pert n. Taylor. Maurice Fitzgerald, jr..
Rathbone.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
OTHER TEMPERATURES.
LOCAL MENTION.
Your deaIer rnisinE price., nv,

Your dealer raising prices. Try Us
and find that our goods are the finest
and our prices the lowest 4 Golden
Egg macaroni or spaghetti, csc; black
eyed peas, 4c: Supreme hams, is &c
small shoulders, 11kc; sugar corn, 4
cans, Csc; Wisconsin peas. 4 cans, CSC
Y. c. peaches, extras, 15c; beets, INC;
stringless beans, 7hc; 2E-lb. cans
Karo syrup. 10c: lbs buckwheat, 25c3
pure pepper. Csc; jelly mints, 15ci
walnuts, 15c; eggs, 21c; best flour
1915 Dbl. e26 Pa. ave. and all the
j. r. ID. I'yles stores.
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
TALKS ON ART OF JAPAN.
Garrett {. Pier Lectures Before
Archaeological Institute.

The Washington Society OF the Archse-
Ological Institute Of America met at the
residence OF Mrs. i. r. Moran, 23l5 Mas
sachusetts Avenue, yesterday afternoon.
Vice President Henry White occupied
the chair.
Garrett Chatfeld Pier, formerly OF the
Department OF Decorative Arts, Metro
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15

SAY something in your advertise
ments-say It WELL-say il at THE
RIGHT TIME and in the RIGHT
PLACE.-Dan sayles
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15
Local. TEMPERATURE

Relative humidity-s a. m. 65; p. m. 81;
p m, 6l
Rainfall ts p. m. TO p m.l none
Temperature date last year-Highest 81
lowest S..
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15

Ghnrlie Chaplin In "Caught In the
RAIN Va. neaIer. Soon. Charlie IN "CaTmAn."
The Washington herald., 1916-02-15

Thomas A. Edison is 50.