The Idaho Republican. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1904-1932, 1916-10-27
FINNEGAN'S PHIL OSOPHY

smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
frl shin jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin'' Dimycrats. He blows
on a horn an ivrythin falls for ut.
If the people call him liver so soft,
Little Samuel had no quicker ear. An
for sacryfcin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocricy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
"Tfs his Presbyterian bringin' up,
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts policy;
thin he thries to justify 1t, thin he
sanctifies it wild phrase, while choir
iv Dshurvin Dimmycrats sings
hymn. An there We are. Justification,
Adoption an Sankty-ficashun.
1.-THE choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Bill
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
iv the life iv the great Idaylist.
Harvey went back to editin' an Bill
Brine whit in search iv the Howly
Kale. McCombs was canned, because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing a
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff ragtime. But WudthroW die
Grated thin all. Wild f'what say ye?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross.
Ohio. l mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club, Whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what WudthroW
calls the vital stuffs iv life.' Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redfield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs Nv praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow is fond iv music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear sound.
swell, wan night in August the
Colonel come tiptoein' in through the
basement dure.
elbows the game, Colonel? says
Wudthrow. $685. the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an
absent air.
"'Aint / got the full dinner-pail's?
axes Whdthrow, anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and
a half says House pleasantly. 'Aint
| KEEP EN- out O. war? axes Wudthrow.
Part O. tn time says House rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. 'Aint my voice our
greatest liquid asset? axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says House,
but lot iv suckers can't tell asset
firm an libility, the Colonel says
"'F'what are We driyin at says
Wilson, four flushing little.
"'Arre We watchin' the striker says
House. Half a millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
"Well, Sir, he left Wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. I hear he says, in low
sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is to me as the vice of Car
negie Penshun.' Oh he says thrill
lin in ivry nerve, must l indade sacry-
flee wan more IDOL says he, 'on the
altar iv me Counthry! says Wud-
throw.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says;
an the Tariff for Rev'noo,' he says;
AN all me friends, beside says he,
sixteen per'fy good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enough? he axes
in agony. But will purge me Heart
iv ivry pers'nal fought says he,
startin' for bed. An before he re-
tires, he takes Heart Purge iv his
own invinshun the way it III wurk
while he sleeps. l dinnaw f'what the
purge is. TITS secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted great sacryfise of a pur-
rinciple, dear to his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged sacryfises. SO
he sends for House. Colonel says
he, 'F'what pur-rinciple d'yr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincy? he axes
anxiOusly.
"'Whisper,' says the Colonel. And
lie said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear,
and faded silently away through the
dure.
"For wan instant WudthrOw stud
spellbound. Thin he burst into
whoop; "The Ram in the Bushes
cries he wild tears Nv j'y.
"Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryfise was solemny-ised
at the Capitol.
"The procession started f'om the
White House wild the Prisidint walkln'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
an box iv Safety-First matches In
tn other. He was followed by a coon