The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-09-05
LITTLE BENNY'S
 NOTEBOOK
By Lee Papo) .)~~)

Sam Crawss showed me trick to- day, saying, Hay Benny, if you leeve me puntch you as hard as wunt to I'll leeve you puntch me as hard as you wunt to. Not in the fase, I sed.
 No, on the arm, sed Sam. Me be- ing a better f1ter than wat he is, and sed all rite, go ahed.
 Jest hold your arm loose, sed Sam. Wich did, and he gave me puntch rite in the mussel with his nuokles, making my a1m feel as if it was par alyzed. Hay. hay, I sed- Wats the matter, now go ahed and hit me, sed Sam.
 How can I, cant hardly-move my arm, sed. And tried to hit him and hedident hardly feel it. Then he showed me how to do it by hitting a persins musse1 with your nuckles in a serten phase, and jest then Reddy Merfy started to come up the street, and thawt, G, feers a, fine chance to get a good shot at Reddy. And he came up and I sed, Hay Teddy, if you let me hit you on the arm Ill let you hit me.
 Sure, that's a sintch, sed Reddy.
 Hold your arm loose, I sed.
 Its loose, sed Reddy. And hit it in the rite phase with my nuckles, and Reddy sed, Owtch, and started to rub it.
 Hee, hee, sed, laffing, now you hit me.
 You bet your sweet life will, sed Reddy. And he dubbled up his uther arm and gave me sutch a fearse crack can feel it yet. Me forgetting all about he was left handed. Proving d rood trick is ony good trick if it werks.
 Puds Simkinses unkle ust to be actor and yestidday he was there vile me and Skinny Martin and Ed Wer- nick was at Pudses house, and he re- cited Himlit for us, sounding jest like a regular actor, and after he went us fellows started to play Hamlit, me being Hamlit and Puds Simkins being Hamlits farthers spirit and Skinny Martin being Ofeelia and Ed. Wernick being the king, Puds starting it by wawking up and down with his hair mussed and saying, Hamlit, III give you 3 guesses who I am.
 Who I give it up, sed.
 am your farthers spirit, sed Puds.
 Good nitefl how stout you have be- come, I sed.
 Beware of the king. hes sun of a gun of king, he poisoned me vile wasent looking, sed Puds, bevare, be- ware, beware, be warever you wunt. And started to wawk up and down, saying, To be or not to be, that's the ideer, weather to cast bows and ar rows at the king or die and sleep vile, darn him, for 2 sents Id show him sunthing all rite.
 With jest then Elk Wernick wawked ip, saying, Make way for the king, hello, Hamlit, tawking to yourself agen?
 To be or not to be, that's the ideer. sed.
 Out of my way, got some laws to make, sed the king. And he gave Hamlit push and started to wawk up and down, saying, Ofeelia, ware are you?
 Heer I am, king pop, SC Skinny Martin, running in.
 Ware you bin all this time? sed the king, and Ofeelia sed, Making fudge and thinking of Harplit.
 Well you can make fudge but you got to cut out thinking of Hamlit, sed the king, that guy tawks to himself to hutch, he will end up in the bug house, zounds, zounds.
 Wich jest then TIamlit jumped in back of the king, saying, You pushed me little vile ago. nave, jest for that you die. And I stabbed him fearse crack in the middle of the back, and he yelled mad as enything and we started to ressle, and Hamlits farthers spirit and Ofeelia jumped in and we hooked some chairs over and Mrs. Simkins ran in. put all the actors out, and we got up a game of lame dilck