New-York tribune., 1916-01-07

Cw GJa71ks170 Rice
Love Sonnets Of a Son of Swat

"She bats 400 on the Pippin Nine"
I'd draft her uo,o if thought she tcould sign
And help dirrp up a seasons pay.
pegGed this at her, bit M grdndstdnd play
Ven icild Says she: "No bush league mutt for mine
soy she's tho Big League KID or I'm skate,
For cycyy time come up, Zipi-tike that
She shoots those lamps Of hers across tho plate
And I strike ont ike Casey on bat,
For tchen she cures from those eyes
Three strikes aud o,a' is jpst about my size.
Speaking Of cures say, on the lere, Bo,
Shed make big Shore look ike a dnEy-dink
And Alcrander's straight, tcithom tink,
For shes all cure from neck fopr feet beorc,
O,t-clrres and in-sboots-aH there in a roc.
Compared 10 hers Ed PlanFs are on the blink
II Hughey Jennings sees her don't think
Young Dauss neat year iciH get chance to sho'O
Prc played some games that tried hard TO win
But this is my Worlds Series Championship
And If lose back to the Class D bin
For your punk trce-thats my best tip
Tonight I'll call and risk record freeze
BIZ showing her just hOlc 70 ,Cork the Squeeze
III.
Say I'm the lemon-leagper on slump;
In Lores ball game the bench is tohere sit;
couldn't foul one, much less make a hit,
Or tie tho game up ,oith timely hump;
had chance 10 make good the jump,
But tchen I tried 70 grab her little mitt
dropped IL FIRST, and then fpmbled il,
Pla,no the game like some bone-hecded chumP.
And iohen at last hit my form and tried
To ,oort the Squeeze, she coached me to my place
"Get bact~ she pcarbed "SIde, you bOnehead, stdei
Don't take too long lead from of your base;
Just plqp it safe yo, rlptt-frst time at bat
Is not the place to spring play like that"
O. Lore indeed you are q dopeIess game;
The gong rings out--the umpire yells, PLAY baAF-
You rush out goyy till you hear Her call:
"Bock up-bacb ur-yotv salary tohip IS lame
"Jybat batting averago stands against your name
IN Duns or Bradstreets little Guide to AHF
Yo, can't tag Love inside cottage 1oal-
Minus the cate receipts-not tcith this dame
oNyir not for mine" Gays she "Fine chance to w'n
We'd hare ,gith Landlord on the Rival Team
Vith Grocer, Butcher fielding up our tin
and smashing liners into Love's Uo'0ag dream!
Yours for a steady job and no fatigue
Before I sian ,oith any Fuesde League"
"
Mach Ike the boob NTH home plate Veu in sight
Who sprints on in ike T. Cobb at his stride,
Brinong the teing ,7n lcith juging pride,
As bo,e once more scars up1card like kite
1Tbo kno,os he's got it beat all right, all right
While thousands clamor hit tho dirt there-S''de-
1,,be, oyer all the t,,nuh far and pide
I'll. 1y,,irs sby,eks YOU'RE OUT"-in piId delight
60 oot mine in true OLoughl'n style;
,,.t ,cben J tbouqht the game ,ooud be tie
Her old man pelled "Youre ont about n'IeF
and ,,oyed me back Nth murder IN his eye
op, William KLEIN in this here park" says he,
oSo don't pou clip no Evers stuff to me-"
VI.
so noyes Life's game wherever We may 90'
Al erer1, base some umpire stands ana ~d'''
s.,soots shipped earth1cord By the Fdtes
Who have it in for players here oe'o~'
ued rather yell, "Youre out" than get more do"S"'
,s ,to,ob ,ee k7loo the robbers eyes amt mates
1VIat does that get you IN your our" aeo"'e'
,,-t ,,bot he saps IS all the records shoWf
,, ;,,,,ned the Love League no1o-the area" "'"' yum
r.. ,o... t,,r,s bush ,ohen cornered IN some den;
AuJ tbo,,oh | opn a fancy toVards the Jane
1. .,o,Icd hack Peace again;