The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1916-10-27
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry-Go-Round.

Faith an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
1t, for II was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he is for 1t, that immortal
Instrument has also changed Its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats. the Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're a good man,
but We make me dizzy says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
MIN for the woods. I've ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye.' says Wudthrow
THROWN him q COcked-Hat Nv the vim
tage of 1909.
"'Here's the Army bill,' says CARR
son. How does 1t suitT he axes,
"'Fine,' says Wudthrow. 'barrin'
few changes 'Ye1l redraw It, he
says. to provide says he, 'volun-
tary universal service In a Federal
Milishy,' says he, controlled be the
states says he; AN recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. 1T
shud be nayther too large nor too
SMALL says he; or maybe BOTH he
says; an the ammynition,' says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore l decide the daytales, for It's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me off,
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
~ Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
We says Wudthrow. I've a near-reaI
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry
GO-ROund plays side step.
"'F'what iv the NavyT says Kitchin.
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and In st. Louey,
where it shud be the biggest in the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he. so
here's the Dimycrat bill yen pass,
says he.
"'But this same is the Raypubli-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin'. Yen
60 an pass it, says Wudthrow. pound
ing the desk. 'HOOray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
I dream says Kitchin. If liver
drank, I'd t'ink I was boozed,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off.
allow about the Army binY axes
Hay.
Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must be thes wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
eye.
81 have here bill,' says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase iv five hundther
men a year for twinty year. he says |;
AN amynishun for six hours ackshun,
he says, twill make us safe from
Madagascar, measles, muckrakin,
milit-rism and marital infidelity,' he
says, AN we'll catch Willy before he
dies av he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay-afther all preparedness Is a
matther iv the heart an not Of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
jobT he axes, stoppin' short like.
"Divil wan says Hay. Thin
| says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like. for yer patri-
otto service in so bravely sipportin'
me policies he says, in all their
phrases he says, 4 make Judge Nv
ye'he.' says he. as well as yer frind
that We put In the JOKER says the
Prisidint. Howly Saints says the
| preparation Sinitors.
Ph'what does this mean at all
| a. alif they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the Presidint, AN
We 60 all through me train Nv thought
before We come to the pork car says
he. Are We onT axes the Apostle Nv
Common Counsels.
"'We're on says the sinitors, fall
ing off. An the Merry Co Round plays
a Wilson Waltz. (Which We know.
Jawn. is wan step forward, Two steps
back, hesitate an sidestep). An Tu-
multy goes out to spread the glad
| tidin's that the preparation p'rade will
be led be the Presidnt in person.
allow does he save his face2" asked
Malumphy.
| "Wid his month" resnonded Finne.