Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-15


thrown through the glass in a door
and the thief unlocked the door
through the opening made. Mr.. Rec
tor missed nothing today except about
two pounds of candy. At first it was
thought that boys were the guilty
parties, but on the glass door at the
Rector store the finger prints indi-
Gated a large hand-Bluffton Qndl
Banner.
HUGHES, the republican presiden-
tial nominee, is to be invited to Chi
cago. The reception committee should
not fail to show the gentleman the hole
in the lake into which the form OF one
7. Roosevelt was dropped after it had
been fiattened by the steam roller.
Il AM glad to see Mr.. Hughes come
out from behind that flock OF alfalfa,
at the rear OF which he has been hid.
ing these many MONTHS postcards
Ignatz. ale may not make much noise
on still day, but we'll all hear him
when the wind rises, believe me, unless
the BARRIERS union forces him to SUBJ
nit to the lawn mower before The
opening OF the campaign
WE have a communication from L.
". S. on the agitation against the ten
dency to display the female form, his
contribution, he states, having been
inspired by a friends quotation of a
London cabman, who remarked to a
woman who hesitated in alighting
from his conveyance on windy day,
legs are no treat to me-" L. W. S.
retorts: That's the point | desire to
make. The leg, when it is all revealed
to the naked eye, is not a shock; that
is the normal-sized one is not. But
what causes the protest is in giving US
only little bit off the top, or Off the
middle, suppose should state. These
| halfway exhibitions are so unsatis-
| factory. l am in favor of the gentler
sex either covering up entirely, or COM
ing through with the whole pedal.
! Then we'll have better understand
| ing of them and theirs"
THOSE who have yarns to tell dur
| ing centennial week about the days
when the redskin roamed these parts
should remember that B. Hawk will
be hanging out in Spencer Square with
both ears wide open. If you are dis
Greet you will say nothing personally
| Objectionable to the old warrior, lest
he might turn pair of his lions loose
on you. Or perchance, he would treat
! you TO a ducking in the square fOun-
| tain. You may also be interested to
learn that he is no longer accepting
red eye as a bride. He voted dry at
| the last election. You might clip this
out and mail it to some friend who is
coming to the celebration to protect
| him against the mistakes referred TO.
! MOVEMENT has been started in Ma
drid to propose Hing Alfonso as candi.
date for the 1916 Nobel peace prize.
Now, gol ding it, what has ALI been
doing. Or perhaps he hasn't been do
ing anything, as usual. Last time we
saw his name mentioned in the papers
he had experienced successful fall
from his mount while playing polo.
He Just wanted to prove to Hing
George that it was possible to tumble
| from horse without being hurt. Ali
did the trick, but George didn't. Per.
haps that's the reason for the peace
prize bid.
THE only reason apparently that
| the Moline Eagles didn't win more pa
rade prizes at the convention in Rock
Island was that its entries had become
exhausted.
WHY all this opposition to whiskers
Doesn't Uncle Sam wear them. asks an
exchange. Lincoln also wore a flowing
crayat. But Senator Sherman isn't TO
be our next president.
BILLY Sunday describes Kansas
! City as hell hole. If there weren' t
any hell holes Billy would probably be
managing minor league baseball
team.
SECRETARY OF War Baker is Presi.
dent Wilson'S 0. h. man at st. Louis.
Justice Hughes was R0oseyelt's h. 0.
man at Chicago.
BECAUSE of lack of hotel accom-
, modations so clergymen are in Jail at
Devils Lake, Wis. What could minis
tiers expect in picking out town with
such a name in which to hold a con-
vention?
CHICAGO friends of Roger Sullivan
are urging him for the democratic vice
presidential nomination, despite that
he has repeatedly asserted that he does
not covet the honor. The boom for
him at least proves that not all men
are slow TO manifest their gratitude,
Roger having furnished "a special train
on which TO carry the boys TO the con-
, vention city. They seem to have mis-
interpreted his motive Truth is that
Roger had no motive. He just can't
help being a good fellow. Hiring a
railroad train is one of the easiest
things he does. Would that we had
more millionaires that separated them
selves from their surplus gold with the
abandon OF Brother Sullivan.
J. NJ c.