The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-04-04

to gather up his stuff, minus his
fatuous Inconsistencies and pro-whis-
key sentiments, and tote 1t over 10
the Telegram Office and leave 1t to be
called for; for he sure is wrong
again as usual. We make this dis
claimer, however. in the interest OF
truth. and not because we think 1t
would be any reflection upon US were
our identity as he has supposed, for
we cherish sentiments OF very great
respect for those unmarried ladies
who have ben wise enough to choose
the joys Of "single blessedness" In
preference to being tied up to beer
keg, or whiskey cask on pegs, 10
endure the suiferlngs and sorrows
and shame Of a life OF double cursed
ness.
His second guess Is that we are
Sissy man." who cannot Strike a
match on his pants" Again truth
com els us to file demurrer, for
verify we are not 1t. And when
suitable opportunity presents itself,
we shall take pleasure In giving him
an ocular demonstration OF the fact
that we can perform the Herculean
feat OF which he purposes as test
OF intellectual acumen, and thereby
prove to him no doubt, that we have
achieved the very acme OF human
greatness. for It seems that in his es-
timatlon the ability to Strike n
match on ones pants" is the highest
possible proof Of manhood and the
final standard OF appeal in such mat
tiers.
He further amrms that our
previous article "leads to the erro-
neous impression that hostilities were
declared years ago" Just so, and II
hostilitles between the home and tho
liquor abomination were not de-
clared years ago. pray when were
they declared? Can 1t be possible
that he thinks that the battle be-
tween rum and Righteousness origi-
mated with tho campaign for prohl-
bition in West Virginia? II so, Just
any Sissy man" whom he may
chance to meet. can set him right on
this point.
1t also seems that he claims to
have been very active worker for
prohibition during said campaign,
and now. also. he is fighting 1t. Well
1t does not require Solomon to see
that his last state is very much
worse than the first" And may wo
suggest In the language of one OF
old, that he Remember from whence
he has fallen. and repent quickly"
Again, he seems to see some re-
semblance between Home Defend
err" and Kentucky mule. II such
be the case. 1t might be well for him !
to adopt the safety first" policy,
and keep we'll out OF reach, for a
"Caintuckey" mule has the reputa-
tion Of being able to deliver the
goods"
And as to the information secured
from West Virginians by the Sun
man." he seemed to brush the whole
thing aside by giving US to understand
that he regards the testimony Of
those who oppose prohibition, and
favor the liquor inlquity. as being
wholly. and absolutely. and every
lastingly untrustworthy and not to be
relied upon. and 1t may be source
of some comfort to him, to know that
there are great many intelligent
and well informed persons who share
this conviction with him.
He also kindly tells us that he Is |
right down on the ground floor"
Well. we confess to having been
afraid that he was most too far down
and think 1t an act OF good fellow
ship to invite him to leave the low
lands. where the fogs and miasmas
which arise from the boys ana
swamps Of ignorance and error, blind
the mind and befuddle the thinking
apparatus. and to come up to where
the air Is pure and the sunlight of
truth is always shining.
In a previous article he gave 70
Maggie Nc Darlin'" rather
striking description Of the terrific ef-
fects of "old Red Eye on a fellows
insides," and now in his latest deliv-