The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-10-28
Legs
BY Or, FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915, By Frank Crane)

Schoolboy composition, dated A. D.
1916
Legs were once used for various pur-
poses.
Their principal use was TO hold things
up from the ground or floor All chairs
had legs. and all tables, desks, and the
ike until il was discovered that We could
get along just as well TO let things rest
on the ground as TO have them raised sew
eral feet in the air. All tables now rest
Hat on the floor Men in offices sit on the
door at their desks Young ladies lie fiat
when they play the piano People rechne
on coucbes at dinner as the ancients used
TO DO, and squat at tea as the Japanese.
Legs, in fact, have gone out of style.
Fishes don't use them, nor snakes, and
never did Horses, COWS. dogs and cats
still make use of them, but they don't
know any better.
The general dj>carding Of legs occurred
i'm about the year 1850, and was mainly
due to the universal adoption Of the auto
mobile and the aeroplane as means Of To-
,0motran As automobiles became so
cheap that every one could buy one. there
was really no excuse for walking any
more.
People once Walked and seemed 70 get
considerable pleasure from the exercise.
Exercise, however. is out Of vogue, as we
nov have no particular use for the body
except MS q vehicle for the brain Be
sides with the advancement Of thought
Ve can just think a walk and it does us
quite as much good and is less trouble
than actually walking
Besides in the oldcn time there were
many poor people who had 20 walk, and
hence found legs quite handy if the ex-
preston may be permitted Nowadays.
however. every baby is born with an
automobile Of his own, and instead Of
learning 20 walk he learns TO drive All
our household chairs are motors and we
don't have 70 get up to move around
house Besides, we have no more stair
ways, only elevators.
In the days Of legs dancing was n
favorite pastime. II consisted in a lady
and gentleman hugRinR close and hop
ping about the room, usually keeping
time to music This curious custom has
+ long since died out.
Notwithstanding people took excellent
care Of their legs and were proud Of
their development, they were, for some
reason. ashamed Of them Men used 10
Iercase them in two cloth cylinders called
Ipantaoons ladies' in one, called skirt.
/ ]. was against the law for a man to have
+ both leg, In one cylinder or for a woman
20 use a separate cylinder for each leg.
However, at theaters women would
expose their leg shapes and great crowds
would gather 10 see them The same
thing was done in summer at the sea
shore Any exhibition Of leg in winter
eas considered highly immoral Morals
in those days seem to have been quite
complicated, depending upon location.
I thermometer and so forth
Real nice people never mentioned legs
at all. but referred to them as limbs.
/ IN fact. il was not good form TO refer
10 any part Of ones anatomy between the
collar bone and the ankle.
When Henry Ford discovered how to
make a substitute for gasoline out Of
soapsuds and buttermllk it became pos
sible for every human being TO have his
own automobile and air-plane.
Even in the old days men did not run
for congress with their legs, but with
,hcir mouths. that is, with wind and by
means Of machine called party; which
was doubtless foreshadowing Of this
day when we travel everywhere by air
and by machinery.