Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-11-01
Finnegan's Philosophy
Single Track Minds

IVY nat is he!' asked E1nnegan. ''Sure
at Injainnypoles he said he was full
of Annymated Concerv 'tism. Fwhats
that. We say? IT'S the turn table on
the wan thrack mind 1t kapes spin
min round and round an divil q man
can tell fWhat switch it will pick up.
1t GinEau itself. So We dinnau where
to lay for it.
"'TWas so wild the arrumed freight
ships. They're not warships,' he says,
onless l change me mind he says,
which 1 have he says, AN annywan
who says so Is a liar he says, but
refuse to discuss it, he says. I'll pass
the buck to Congress- he says, 'on'y
l won't he says. for it's no business
Of theirs he says, though they must
vote on the resolution he says, to
show where they stand he says,
'hince yen lay it on the table, he says,
an thin they can't vote says Wud-
throw to Stone.
"I-I-thought l seen a fallacy,'
says, Stone, timid like, but the Great
Idaylist brung down his f1sht wild
lump.
liable the risolution.' says bean
away goes Stone.
"'Pwhat does this mean?' axes the
Sinit.
'Giatlemen,' says Stone, weepin'
bitterly, We can frisk me. But thim's
the orders, says Stone, AN If amy
man liver knew fwhat it meant he's
KEEP quiet about it.
$50 wild the fghtin' wurd. We're
too proud to fight says this turrible
nan to bunch iv just-overs at Phila-
delphy. 'Haw-haw-haw,' says the
wurled "a laugh gets his goat, Jawn).
I was thinkin' iv somethin' I didn't
say yells Wudthrow. 'Haw-haw-haw,'
says the wurld. laughin' to split.
BE this an be that Too Proud to
Fight has made the reppytashun iv
| WudthrOw. IT'S like the Monroe Doc
| trine to Monroe or Emanshipashun to
| Lincoln. Twas TRANSLATED into iyry
| tongue. It's better known than the
| tWenty-third psalm Or the famous ora
ton iv the Guv'nor iV North Carliny.
! If an Ashantee pOked another in the
| eye he's give him the coon FIR Are V
| Too Proud to Fight? an they'd botl
laugh befure they Wint to the fure
| All the recruitin' signs abroad had it
| an the shame 'ud bring three recruits
where 'Tipperary or rum wud bring
wan. oh, won't ye Place stop laugh
| In? says WSdthrow, but they laughed
the more. So he sinds Jim Ham Lewis
| to explain. He's called Ham by reason
| he's so fond Of pork
| Three thousand years agone,' says
| Jim Ham, or maybe less,' says he
an ould Dago said, mon Dinny Carey
win Kerry Tor the like O. that, Jawn
1t means not to have a chip on yer
shoulder) Non Dinny Carey win Ker
ry,' says Jim Ham, an julius Say
zer,' says he, an Tolmy Philadelphy,
says he, AN the Earl iv Cheatem,
says Jim, AM william Hatch Sew
ard says Ham, an lot more I for
get says Ham, who felt the same
way says Jim. although he says
they nivir said So says Jim Ham tt
the Sinit.
"'Now,' says he, how, axe ye, cud
| the Prtsfd1nt know that the cultivated
Christian aujience,' he says, 1v immy
grants says he, 'wud fail to GRASP
the nooance,' says Jim Ham. An
Jawn, they shut the dures the way
the people wudden't see the Sinit lose
it's dignity
'Fhwat's a nooanceT asked NAHUM
ply.
"''Tis a sort " intellectual golt
BRICK replied Finnegan, slightly puz
zled, be which We say fhwat We doan'
name an name wye doan't say. The
nooance comes out iv it somehow. I'll.
like dinnau what, just exactly like
it, he added after short pause. 6
cudden't tell thin apart
"'Well,' said Malumphy, the singl,
thrack mind gets nowhere, I'm think
I'M
9th gauge is. none too Broad re
piled his friend, AN the thrafic'
heavy he added"
*Non Dinicare est Vincere.