davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
Financial Distress of Pisgah Home

Attention is directed in another column of todays Age-Herald to the financial distress of Pisgah Home, one of Birmingham's best known charita- ble institutions. The serious illness of Mrs. c. P. Orr, who has always looked after the homes finances and the an- nouncement that she will probably never be able to resume the work, brings about situation where some arrangement must be made for money to carry on the institution's activities or it will have to be closed.
 Birmingham has always had great admiration for Pisgah Home since it was established a number of years ago by the late Dr. c. O. Oxnam, and later fostered and encouraged by the Rev. Dr. Carl Henckel. It handles a class of charity cases for which no other institution in the city is equipped and in many ways has demonstrated it's usefulness to the community.
 Nearly 1000 people have been re- ceived at the home during the past 12 months and the years expenses were only a little over $1500. It is felt that all that will be necessary is to call the attention of the people of Birmingham to the situation in order to assure the financial support neces- sary to prevent the home from being closed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
THE wALRUs A HORSE

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 We have all heard the story about the customs official who puzzled out the formula that turtles is insecks" He established thereby an official classifi- cation for amphibians, not at all sat isfying to scientists, but comforting to importers, exporters and other customs officers. Now suppose somebody should import a live walrus, and this same gov Fernment employe should admit it as a horse? What roar of merriment would go up!
 Science has proved that walrus is a sort of a horse. The proof is made by means of blood test. Walruses, seals porpoise, whales, etc., are mammals thai live in the ocean. Therefore they ought to be birds of a feather, as it were-theii blood should show some sort of rela- tionship. But the scientists have discov- cred that such is not the case. The blood of a walrus will not react with the blood of a seal, nor the blood of a whale. Bu, it reacts perfectly with the blood of a horse, an ass or "a zebra. Therefore a walrus belongs to the horse family, says science
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
HUSBANDS IN CLOVER

man" delegate to the convention, who Is described as the guardian angel'' of all the women's clubs in Fulton, Ky, weighs about 200 pounds. He was at sev- eral meetings and luncheons yesterday and walked about among the women just as if he "belonged''
 ''He does belong" said Mrs. c. w. Dean, chairman of the welcome commit tee. He can go anywhere he likes, and you can. too. We are not going to throw any of the men out. Nor are we going to pass a rule excluding men delegates hereafter. The ideal women's club is for both men and women. That is what we
 want. We can't get along without the men. and we don't want to try" Mrs. B. S. Osborne chairman of the lost and found committee, said that only one husband had been listed with her, and he was quickly redeemed by "dear little Ohio woman who wanted to go out on a shopping tour.
 All the members of the hospitality com mittee, who run the branch Husbands committee" said they thought the men were .awfully nice; just perfectly lovely"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
HOTEL LOBBIES
Notable City Auditorium

Among the many auditoriums built by clties In recent years" says Dr. Charles Zuehlin, well known lecturer, in his latest book, American Municipal Prog ress," those at Denver, San Francisco and Houston are notable. Denver's au- dltorlum, like St. Pauls, is elastic. By the movement of the boxes and pros cenlum arch, the room may be adapted 10 audiences of from 3500 to 12.O00 This IS great advantage not enjoyed for example, by San Francisco and Wichita, where ordinary audiences are lost in the mammoth auditorium and the acoustics are aoominable Denver's auditorium is regularly used for Sunday municipal con certs It was leased for a time to a theatrical manager who gave daily per- formances at modest charges
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
FOR MEMoRY's SAKE

From Answers, London
 Calmly the young woman rustled to- wards the glove counter and settled herself in chair.
 Some four-button gloves, please!" sine said to the obsequious server. T want two pair of white suede, and-'' Then for the first time she lifted her eyes and saw his face. Why" she went on. in puzzled voice, haven't we-- haven't seen you somewhere?'
 The young man leaned over the coun- ter and dropped his voice to a breath less whisper as he replied:
 "Oh. Mabel, don't you remember last summer when I saved your life while bathing. and we became engaged, and
 Yes. of course I dol" said the young woman. with a pleasant smile. And er-you can make it four pairs of gloves. if you likem
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
APPROACH OF ICE AGE

From the Boston Transcript.
 Part of the disasters which are to over take humanity in return of the ice, &C., cording to this philosophy, looms up like a prediction that has come true in little more than half decade. The predic- tion was that as "the population of the
 earth goes on increasing every day, and even the less favored districts little by
 little become inhabited, the different
 human groups, crowded back on one an- other. and finding no more space for ex- istence, will be driven to internecine de- struction." German science, of course,
 knew earliest the value of "a place in the
 sun!" Monsieur de Morgan is one of the serious philosophers of history; but he here stands with that brilliant sensa- tionalist of popularized science, Prof. Camille Flammarion. It was ten years ago that Flammarion warned us concern ing the solar catastrophe, that, in it's day, the whole human race around the globe would possibly be driven within the tropical zones. 'St. Petersburg now Petrograd), Berlin, London, Paris, Vienna, Constantinople Rome" he wrote, twill successively sink to sleep under their eterna, cerements. During many centuries, equatorial humanity will un- dertake vain Arctic expeditions to redis- | cover, under the ice, the sites of Paris | of Bordeaux, of Lyons, of Marseilles :" no longer will man live-no longer | will he breathe, except in the equatoria!
 zone down to the day when the last
 tribe, already expiring in cold and hun
 ger, shall camp on the scores of the last
 sea in the days of pale sun which will
 henceforward illumine an earth that is
 only a wandering tomb"
 | Henry Adams in his brilliant little mo- nograph, "A Letter to American Teach CTS of History" knocking the heads of
 the disputants together, stakes his faith I on mans progress in mental energy te counterbalance the approach of the ice | age and the reduction of animal size anc strength. He says that when man can
 capture physical forces, amounting tc
 some 15,0O0,0O0 steam horsepower, from l coal, and at least as much more from
 chemical and elementary sources, besides indefinite potentials in his stored exper' fence and progressive rise in the intensi i ties of the forces he keeps in constant l use'-he should worry!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
MAKING A MEXICAN BANDIT


 Harry H. Dunn in Cartoons Magazine. Tn eaverage wage for such labor as any man among the 100000 of Mexico can furnish is less than 50 cents, Amer ican currency. a day. But any man can steal horse and a machete, and join one of more than 300 bandit gangs operating through Mexico.
 Out of his share of the loot of the first village or hacienda he will get saddle, all the liquor he can drink, and the un- fortunate daughter or wife of some coun- tryman-for women are the cheapest commodity in Mexico. Possibly, he will get a rifle and ammunition, if not at the first raid, at least at the second, and he can keep out of the fighting until he has armed himself yet share in the pro- ceeds of his fellow bandits footing. How much cheaper 1t Is to get horses, arms, food drink and clothing merely by shoot ing down their rightful owners than it is to work. for them, at 50 cents day! The new bandit notes that few of his companions are killed in proportion to |'the loot they get and the easy life they live that many small garrisons of gov. ernment troops. underpaid and poorly fed, join the highwaymen, rather than give them battle, and ne begins to sing the Spanish equivalent o This is the life''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
AbOuf Light HOuds

the most enthusiastic member of the city commission regarding the $50O,00O mu- nicipal electric light bond issue.
 Do you know" said Commissioner Barber, T cannot do my best work in this campaign for the s50o,ooo municipal electric light bond issue because of my supreme confidence that 1t will carry by an overwhelming majority.
 I have good crowds at all my speeches but have made few converts for the simple fact that the men to whom I spoao were already converted to municipal owner ship. The great mass of the people are all for the s5O0,00O municipal light plant and this statement will be verified next Monday at the polls.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
An Incident in Belgium


 'In my opinion it is useless to talk of peace in Europe while Belgium is in foreign hands," said White E. Gibson, the well known attorney. "I happened to be in Belgium when the war broke out. and to have seen what I saw conyinces me that the spirit of the Belgian people car never be conquered.
 T believe one of the most impressive incidents which came under my observa- tion while abroad was when I witnessed a Belgian bid his family good-by and start for the front It was in a little village near Waterloo, and I had al- ready seen thousands and thousands of men hurrying from everywhere to the front. The man to whom refer was a fully equipped soldier for all of them kept their uniforms and guns in their homes He talked for, a long time to his wife and finally said good-by. Then he turned to his little boy and bade him an affectionate farewell. Finally he tore himself away and started down the street. He had gone perhaps. 200 feet when he slowly turned and came back. He walked up to his little boy and leaned over and whispered something to him. Then he braced himself once more and walked away, soon disappearing.
 My curiosity had been so aroused that I approached the little fellow and asked him what his father had whispered.
 ".He told me- he said, that ne hoped I would hurry and grow to be a man so I could shoot and kill every man who ever attempted to set hostile foot on Belgian soil.'
 "The incident convinced me more strongly than anything else that there will never be peace until Belgium IS res- cued."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
GROW DRUGS IN BACK YARD From the Pittsburg Dispatch.

The Western Pennsylvania Retail Durg- gists' association endorses the suggestion of the Pennsylvania Pharmaceutical as- sociation that American pharmacists may have to grow drugs in their back yards if the war continues much longer. The shortage of vegetable drugs will be one of the subjects to be discussed at the state meeting in Reading next month.
 The shortage of dyestuffs and chemical products may be overcome by the in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

From the New York Times.
 A SECRET meeting of the executive
 A committee of the Lonely Mans ' club" an auxiliary of the Gen. eral Federation of Women's clubs, was held yesterday in the-"Sh!' said the chairman, "don't name the room, or they might bring it up in that convention of 10000 wives. Just say 1t was held in one of the auxiliary council chambers in the Hotel Astor."
 It was the opinion of all the commit teemen that since they had told their wives on Tuesday that they had spent the time at the Aquarium while the women were visiting MT. and Mrs. Thomas A. Edison, they ought to make up for the sacrifice" by secretly at- tending the fashion show at the Madison Square Garden today. this being Bath ing Suit Day-but, of course, none of the men knew that.
 Say, what's a dolphin look like?" asked a nervous little man who sat be- hind large ber-colored'-"Please call them vases" said the chairman. "I told my wife I'd been to the Aquarium, and she says, 'What'd you seer and l says, I saw a dolphin and I says, Its something like a lobster And now she 8 going down to the Aquarium herself. And then she says, Why do they call it the Aquarium? Do they have water and fish there? and then I replies absent mindedly. Yes, very fine water, very fine, and some amable fish, too,' but that's as far as got"
 It was said that the womens auxiliary, ''The Lonely Mans club" had council chambers in towns and cities of almost every state-except Kansas, Oregon and three or four others. All the council chambers conform to the same style of bles for conference purposes and there is generally a long mirror on one side. Some of the officers are dressed partly
 in white. Hotel men and ushers in the convention rooms said that the 1000 mem bers of the auxiliary organization had evolved some queer questions.
 'Ts there a picture show near the hotel where I can spend an hour while I'm waiting for my wife'?' is one. And an other: "Is there any place around this hotel where there are no women dele gates?' One more. and this was put to a call boy in the auxiliary council cham Der of the Lonely Mans club" Do you think you can go out and tell my wife without smiling that I'm not lin here?"
 Seeing Doc Turner, he of the long flowing locks. and one of the lonely hus- bands near the entrance to the auxiliary chamber apparently rubbing noses like two Patagonians or Thibetians saying. |.'How do you do,' a stranger asked whether the man had always been used to greeting his friends in that manner. "Sh!" says "Doc.' He just asked me an important and touching question. Don't say anything about it. Nobody will ever know it. even his wife. I sent him back to chew a lemon rind; then I'll give him some mints."
 All the men were around yesterday. because the women had not yet begun the convention in earnest. The corridor benches were lined with men whose glances were nervous and shifty. They 1 jumped whenever a call boy came through calling name much like their own. But not wrist watch has been seen.
 Herschel T. Smith. the only mere
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
AN ANCIENT "sEx STRIKE
From the Los Angeles Times.

The sensational ladies suggesting the plan Of sex strike" among the wom- en of belligerent countries may think they are proposing something new in urging wives and sweethearts of soldiers to refrain from caresses until the fight ing stops. It so happens, however. that Lysistrata, titular heroine of the most farcical of Aristophanes' comedies, headed representative gathering of Athenian matrons after 21 years of the Peleponnesian war and advised that very thing-a sex strike. Incidentally, it didn t work. Men are not the only people on earth who like kisses and such things.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
HIS REWARD.

 "Oh, well, let fate with me do as 1t will, I shall not bow my head, nor yet de- spair,'' Said one who. dauntless, fought the good fight still And bravely strove life's passing ills to bear. And winter time and summer, twas ths same, A smile was seldom missing from hif face; And though he won not fortunes prize nor fame, Because he never faltered in the race He proved himself man of constant soul, Well worthy of a seat among the great, And s name was written down upon the scroll That none may read till Death unlocks the gate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
"GONE. BUT NOT FORGOTTEN Milfred Granfau is, n..4Ie>1z

WHireu IrenIell Tn the Outlook
 Beyond a tiny tot of rum no dope has ever been given, or needed by the Eng fish or French. In the general headquar- ters in France saw on the wall notice with deep black border all around it; it was dated June. 1915 and it read: Sacred to the memory of the rum ra- ton; gone. but not forgotten!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

BEGINNING THE DAY-O God, I praise Thee that Thou hast put SD many good people in the world. praise Thee that Thou hast put so much good even in the bad people. | praise Thee for all gentleness anu sweetness and self-sacrihce. "iVe me eyes to find Thy footprints III th. hearts of men. Amen.--H. M. E..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
WINTER LOVE SONG

By Robert Burns Wilson. The sad fields, yelled in falling snow- They are not sad to me Not chill. to me. the winds that blow, However chill they be. The eddying flakes that speed away With music they drift down Through myriad, lacing branches gray On dead leaves, crisp and brown. No bloom upon the whining hill.
 No leaf upon the tree; The music Is sad music-still
 It Is not sad to me. For song, with my hearts muffled miEh, Keeps measure blow for blow My loves sweet breast is warm anc
 white. N. And softer than tho snow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

So far the claims against the city for money collected by the liquor inspectors amount to about s2oo, only fraction of the total sum collected. The city may yet find the venture quite profitable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
A LIKELY SOURCE.

Where did the saying. Tell it to the marines, originate?"
 q don't know" answered the man who admires Uncle Sam's proficiency in nip- ping revolutions in the bud, "but sus- pect it was first made in foreign tongue by some excitable citizen of Haiti or Santo Domingo"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

England is excited over a former foot man who is likely to become peer. That would be a sad blow to the most noble dukes who have never done anything in their lives but drink brandy and soda.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

One of Mir. Bryans favorite airs is Silver Threads Among the Gold" He seems to have penchant for "sweetly solemn thoughts"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

While the purchasing power of dol lar Is considerably less than it used to be, there will not be much danger of revolution unless the price of baseball tickets is placed to a prohlbitIve figure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

The printer who made "five-minute speeches" read five million speeches" seems to have had an idea that the de- bate would be long drawn out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

James J. Hill had a will of his own, but since he always knew what he was about his enemies were forced to re- spect him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

The democrats knew what they were about when they decided to hold their national convention in the shadow, so to speak, of the worlds largest brewery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Economists advise the American people to grow plants used for medicinal puv- poses. If they are easier to cultivate than beets, turnips and tomatoes. ther sub urban gardener may be tempted to make the experiment..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

What vaIor were it when cur doth grin, For one to trust his hand between his teeth, When he might spurn him with his foot awayf Henry VI.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
A MEAN CRITTER

From the Memphis Commercial-Appeal. The Chicagoan who promised his wife a new dress in two weeks and then com
 mitted suicide and left her a note say ing the dress would have to be black. is our idea of the meanest man on earth. and he probably went h-ll westward"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

To hear actors talk, you would think they made Broadway what it is. Perhaps they did
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Since the Bulgars invaded Greek ter ritory Venizelos has been about the most rampant statesman in all Greece.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Jess Willard is a much larger man physically than Billy Sunday, but he has fewer knockouts to his credit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

It is easy to spot confirmed pacifist by the hysterical manner in which he re- fuses to yield to the "hysteria for pre- paredness.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
NOT ENOUGH TO NOTICE.

I've learned one thing" remarked the man with socialistic tendencies.
 And what is that?" asked the friend who was forced to listen.
 No matter how badly afflicted with gout some rich old fellows are, it doesn't seem to impair their agility as tax dod- gers.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Robert Burns Wilson, poet and painter, and grandson of "Bobbie' Burns, died in poverty, thus upholding the traditions of the family.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

If his relatives succeed in saving him from the electric chair, Dr. Waite will, no doubt, endeavor to conceal his vexa- tion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Name your own price, say the ar nor manufacturers to Uncle Sam. Nc wonder Uncle Sam looks flabberga sted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Newspapers were recently delivered by aeropIane for the first time in this coun- try. However, the leather lunged news vendor sees nothing in that to view with alarm
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

It is said that the world can't get along without the garrulous barber. Yet. the safety razor business has made some millionaires.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Fighting on the Russian front for the past few weeks has been more or less of a holiday affair.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Glad tidings from the realm of "art for arts sake.' Mary Garden has lost 30 pounds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
OPTICAL ILLUSION.

Tt is said that if person threatened with seasickness will only keep his eyes fixed on some immovable object he can fight off the attack"
 Nonsense" replied the recent victim. T had heard of that theory and while taking a short sail in the gulf kept my eyes fixed on a lighthouse, but the longer looked the more convinced I became that it was trying to dance the turkey trot."
 HER IDEA.
 Mrs. gTwobble has some lovely water cnlors." [ .$ 5Afft4 You mean pictures?" asked Mrs. Grabcoin.
 Certainly"
 "Umph! don't suppose the poor thing could afford to buy 'em painted in oil"
 NOT YET DISILLUSIONED. What are you reading there?" "A poets farewell to his flivver. It was stolen week after he bought it." "The verses seem to affect you. l see tears in your eyes,
 '"Tis a deeply moving lament. No one who had owned a car for any length of time could grieve over its loss with such poignant woe"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31
A HEAVY SLEEPER.

A HEAVY SLEEPER. "Dubwaite's house was entered last night by burglars"
 "But I understand Dubwaite recently bought an expensive watch dog. Didn { the dog do his duty?" Well Dubwaite says the beast made a great deal of noise after he went down. stairs and woke him up.'
 CAPITULATION The sweet girl grad. doth make her bow, A vision fair to see; And maybe that's the req ason why Her logic's lost on me-.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

TELEPHONE Bell (priynte exchange connecting all departments) Main 490O.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-31

Entereu al the BlI mIngnam. Ala. post office as second class matter under act of Congress March B. 1879.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-05-26
G\II Itlli lids.

NV McNIUO Stnte F~,ultentlary,
santa ic, y A..
For supplics fu be furnished 90 the
Sew Mexico state Pcnitcntiary at
santa Fc. y. Nj Tor six months end
ing November Huth, 1915.
Supplies consist of Groceries, Meats,
HryFoods. Leather, and Coal
Specification and blank proposals
a Doe had ON application to the SUI
I-crintcudcut
Bids viii be- u..ued at . a. m, Fri
day. June end |'i6.
jon. 49, NcMNNtS.
Superintendent.
SnntA Ee. \ N WAY b. lnI6.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-05-26
AMERICA MAY Be
FORCED To GIVE
UP MONROE PLAN
League to Enforce Peace, if
Policies Are Carried Out.
Would Have United States
Change Doctrine.

lBv Evening Herald Leased WlroI
Washington. Nav 20 Under the
plan for wurld-ppaco lS outlined 10
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-05-26
~ S\>1 ~

FOE RENT , bungalow 100 SAM
Fy furnished uuIl.tr iuI luH.
b nuIu. each. ~ 90 Pc, u.f
puf.h, Mr. Nort summer. a.N
Ig,. santa &C.. n 80.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-05-26
SITUATIONS WANTED.

W NNTEu-positiou hou-ck,cp''
cog s,nmstrcsS. .r . ,ut Of '.it
Hest uf reference, N.l-'kr,p'r.
cane Herald