davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07

his head thort he would be turrible
smart and cunning tother day so he
picked up banana peel somers and laid
it on the back kitchen doorstep. When
Buds mother coined out of the kitchen
carrying pan of greasy water and
stepped on the banana peel she throwd
the water in her own face swallering
about a at of it and fell with offul vi
lence bruising herself on the back steps.
When she found out who done it she
ketched Bud and marched him into the
wood shed where she chastised him to
SIGH an extent that people heard Bud
heller all over town. Bud amt go very
much sense but we persoom he has suf-
tlshent not to put eny banana peel
where his mother will step on it here
afterwards
Mr.. Clifton Hiilyer son of Anne Hill
yer our talented loryer. J. of P, notary
publick etcettery who holds lootertive
posishion at the Co. seat as assistant
boss in a livery stable is spending wks
vacasfion with his parents in Bingville.
We knowd Cliff Hillyer when he used
to run around dirty faced and bare
footed in Bingville and when he didn't
part his name in the middle like he does
now. Cliff cant come back here and put
OH airs ike IIldI successful.
Miss Nancy Green. one of our most
charming young ladies, while coming
outen the P. o. where she went to see
if there was eny mail for her (there
wasn't being as she expected letter
Ridge way, and was looking back over
her shoulder laffing at Postmaster Eph
Higgins who was teasing her made a
nisstep on the P O. steps and fell sit
ting down so hard that she jolted her
hat clean down over one ear. Miss
Nancy got to her feet as quick as posi-
bic, blushed turrible, got her hat on
straight again and marched off home
in deep disgust
Abe W1therow, one of our most re-
spected citizens, went to take chew
often a plug of tobacco tother day and
bit into a wire nail whicht was in the
| plug breaking tooth often his upper
set Abe SEE its a turrible MYSTERY to
him how that wire nail got into that
| plug of tobacco and heel be looking out
| for wire nails and other obstruckshions
hereafte when he takes chew
Little Tommy Barker got lickin al
school tother day by Jed Peters our in
telligent school teacher of the Bingville
school and was sent home in disgrace
When Jeds back was turned Tommy
made picture of him on the black
board whicht is what he got the licken
for. 1t was turrible ugly picture but
was a speaking likeness of Jed. For
Just a mere slip of boy Tommy shows
a offu1 lot of artistick talent.
Why don't you subscribe for the Btu
gle to while away the long winter even
ings with wficht will soon be here and
you mite as we'll employ your time by
reading the Bug1e evenings instead OF
setting there before the fire twiddline
your fingers and gaping your head off
until its time to go to bed. Do it now
Terms stricketly cash in advance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
.STAGELINE,1 EDDYTORIUL

" STAGELINE' EDDYTORlUL.
On this ospishus ocashion we
take our eddytoriul pen in hand to
dash off viggerus protestashion
aginst the poor acomodashions
whicht is afforded the Bingville
folks and others in this vicinity by
the one horse (but sometimes he
uses two horses) stage line betwixt
this enterprisin center of civilish-
shion and the Co. seat by Simon
Cooper who makes the trip over
and back onct per day carrying
passengers and the u. S. mail
etcettery to nurnerus to menshion.
AS evrybuddy knows Slime two or
three yrs ago TUX the contrackt for
carrying the u. S. mail evry day
rain or shine snow or blow or re-
gardless of enytllink else in the
way of circumstances beyant his
control. Well all Sine gets from
the government for doing this per
anum is $3.50 dollars whicht who
ever happens to be spry at mental
arithmetic can figger out is less
than a dollar a day wficht wouldn't
pay Sine for wear and tare on his
wagon let alone his own persunnel
time consoomed being as it takes
him eight hours evry day to make
the trip
For this reason Sine so as he
wouldn't come out at the little end
of the horn and loos money by his
u. S. guvvernent mail contrackt
announced when he started in that
he would carry passengers to and
from the Co. seat at the rate of a
dollar per head and would also do
errunds and carry parcels at rea-
! sonable rates for them that desired
such errunds did and parcels car
ried.
One day last wk we as eddytor
and prop and evrythink else con-
nected with the Bingville Bugle
had ocashion to make the trip ir
our offishal capacity to the Co
seat and being as we didn't know OF
/ eiillyOOdy gong on the DAY we de-
sired to go who would carry us fo1
nothink and knowing full we'll thai
if we hired rig to make the TRIP
1t would take three or four hare
erned dollars we decided to patron
1ze Slime Coopers stage line ano
now we are sorry we done so.
Looking back over that ride with
Slime to and from the Co. seat an6
and back we do so with horror
loathing and disgust. As soon a:
Sine found out that we was the
only passenger he would haft te
carry he decided instead of taking
his reglar three seated stage line
wagon he would make the trip II
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07

got no compensation and that's what
makes him so unaccomodating and
overbearing being as he knows
folks here has either got to patron
ize him or walk and who wouldn't
ruther walk we ask?
Its burning disgrace to Bing-
vile that SIGH stage line as Slime
Cooper runs is the only link whicht
connects Bingville with outside
civilizashion and its outrajus that
folks has to depend on SIGH a vile
means of transportation to reach
this busting village.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07

his blackboard. Personally we
would much ruther ride to the Co.
seat a straddle of a rail or be drug
there with a rope around our neck
or walk evry foot of the way than
to ride there in Slime Coopers
blackboard. In our humble opinion
that blackboard is a snare and de-
looshion and an invenshion of
Satan.
All the way to the Co. seat we
was obliged to hold on with our
hands and feet toe nails and eye
brows to keep from being throwd
outen the blackboard and over into
the adjoining township and we was
bumped and jolted and jounced to
SIGH an extent that our individual
and personal Intervals has peared
to be shuck loose inside of us ever
since.
Whenever the blackboard would
strike a bump we would go up into
the air and when we was on our
way coming down again we would
meet the blackboard coming up with
SIGH Whence that we thort to good
ness that our spinal colum was
agoing to protrude up through the
top of Our head. By the time we
got to the Co. seat our hat was
jolted down SO tite over our ears
that it TUX us Is minutes to get it
often our head.
Not only that but when we ar
rived at the bottom of Teck Hill
returning whicht is steep for near
ly mile Sine stopped the buck
board and asked us if we would
mind getting out and walking up
the hill being as both of us includ-
ing the mail bag was too much of
load for Nellie his old horse and
after we had went and got outen
the blackboard to oblige Slime and
the horse he asked us if we would
mind carrying the mail bag up the
hill to liten the load. Like blame
fool we done that.
Sine reached the top of the hill
before we did all outen breth and
exhausted but he waited on us and
when we got up to him Slime said
he would take it as a speshul favor
if we would also walk down the
other side of the hill and carry the
mail bag being as the blackboard
didn't have any brakes on it and it
pushed too hard on Nellie.
By the time we got home we was
what we mite call a fzzikal reck
and so ded tired we couldn't
skeercely expectorate over our chin
without a turrible effort. In fackt
we was too fattigged to eat eny
supper and went to bed hungry to
| recooperate.
1t wouldn't be so bad if we had
went through this turrible ordee1
for some good and noble cause but
considering that we had to pay So
dollars to ride in Shines blackboard
there and back fills us with riteshus
indignation evry time we think of
it and we should think Sine would
be ashamed to accept money under
SIGH false pertences.
/ We wouldn't make another trip to
the Co. seat in Slime Coopers buck
board stage line if we newer was
to see the Co. seat the longest day
we live and we hope to goodness
surnbuddy in this town will have
enough gumpshion to start a stage
The trubble with him is he amt
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
Thanks Terushy

Mrs Jerushy Perkins who is one of
the kindest soles that ever lived in
Bingville, left plate OF doughnuts on
our desk last Monday morning which
we ct right upon the spot. Jerushys
doughnuts have a turrible nice flavor,
but it is offul hard to tell just how
exaclStly good they be from one platefuL
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
Personal Squibs

Hank Snyder is up and around with
pair of crutches after a severe at
tackt of conflammatory roomaticks.
Hank ses he is offul glad to get out
again after being cooped up for so long
and he hopes that the next time con-
flammatory roomaticks visits this ma
borhood they will settle in sumbuddy
eises joints except l1isn
Bud Hinckley who amt quite rite in
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07

Its worth Is cts. to me but I will sell
it above low figure in order to introduce
it in this community This cornmeal is
well cured and all right. Here is
a chance to get cornmea1 cheap.
Bingville. AMANDA GOOKINS.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
Sam & His Wife Here

Sam Hayward and wife of Elderberry
Gap was the guests of Mr.. & Mrs Alex
Hite of this city at their palashia1 resi-
dence on Main ST last Sunday. They
returned home in the ev'g. Come
again. Sam & wife, we are always glad
10 have YOU in our midst.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
d d o. o. o. %
How are
YOU OFF
Appel
BARlS s?

The reason | ask this questchion
which you may think amt none of my
bizness is becuz | am In the bizness of
maxim appel baris. Praps you don't
know it but line cooper by trade
and | used to make appel barls & evry
other kind of baris by the duzzens,
Well being as It's now time TO bari up
your appeis for winter use and being
as there is a awful big crop of appels
in Bingvile & vicinity this fall thort
it would be good idee for me to go
back and work for spell at my trade
& ern few honest dollars SO | have
opend temporary cooper shop in my
buggy shed and am prepared to make
appel barls for them as desire same.
IF veu aint cot emmy appel barls to
bari your appels In or If you amt got
enuff and need more | am the party
YOU be Iookin for. Give me call and
weel talk over the sitooashion es9e-
shially if you be as anxshieus for the
barls as be for the money its worth
to make EN-. Terms reasonable and
strickIy cash. In other words when I
git the appel barls ready for you then
want my money for EN- without en-
nv thinning & having Git in your or.
der for appel barls erly & thus avoid
the rush. Yours for appel barIs
SIMON COOPER
Appel Bari Cooper
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
d d % o. ID ID

Do you happen to know what has
became of my COW? If so kindly no.
tify me and you will be literally
thanked Day afore yesterday or the
day afore that forgit which she
iumpd outen the pastchure into the
main road and | amt saw hide nor
hair of her sinst. In fackt she seems
to of wandered away. Praps somebuddy
is harbering my COW & if so they had
better return her or the law will haft
to take its course perviding l find who
the ei1ty party is. A liberal reward OF
considerable gratytood will be give to
ennybuddy who will give me infla1na-
sllion leading to the locashion of a COW
ansering the above descripshion
Yours for a lost COW
HEN PETERSBY
Bingville.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-07
lOrnneaI!

| have bushels OF coTnmeal left
over from last winter whicht | can't
use, so | will sell it for so cts per blu.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23

he develops into a Hoppe CLASSIFY
which ! mean not billiards. but Hop
pes sound common sense.
Az an expert, young Cochran recalls
Percy Collins, Robert Lord and Cope
Morton in reckless and pure "cussed'
Indifference. One OF the secrets OF
Hopes marvellous success as n mas.
ter expert is the fact t>at whether in
practice or otherwise he always played
bis best, while young Cochran Is motto.
fious for his recklcssness and indifer.
ence as 20 whether he shall count or
not. II Is true that he is still very
young, but II is no less true that Mr..
Hoppe vas also at one period Of his
life Younger than Cochran, but dis.
played much more wisdom for his
years.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
O'ROURKE IS A REAL VETERAN
Star in Major League-Figure
In Connecticut Circuit.

The ~prescnt.day fans look upon
Hans Wagner and Larry LajoIe as the
most ancient in baseball, While these
boys have been cavorting Ger the dia.
mond green for many moons. yet they
are school kids when compared with
James O'Rourke, who played the out.
held and was al one time the star
catcher OF the New York Giants.
O'Rourke's official record began In the
year 1876, that is, his major league
record. Fer II years after that the
Orator" as O'Rourke was called, was
4 star in the big show and for Is
years James was a central figure in
the Connecticut State league. He
played in several positions, and one
season his son played on the same
team the Orator" managed. So for
30 years James O'Rourke reported for
duty every spring In the pink OF con
lition.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
YOUNGEST CUE ARTIST
Playing OF WeIker Cochran
Proves to Be Revelation.
Generally Conceded by Master Stu.
dents Of Game to BE Coming Hoppe
OF Billiard World-Noted for
His Indifference.

Welker Cochran is the youngest
professional expert in this country,
as he was born at Mawson. Iowa. in
1897. The recent handicap tournament
in New York was the first professional
tournament in which he appeared. His
playing there was more than o revclL-
ton for one so young and %inexperi.
enced. lie made a high run OF SIS. and
In one game an average OF 90. While
playing recently at Hartford. Conn, he
averaged owe i2 in a 800. point game.
1872 balk line, with q grand average
OF - in 900 points. Cochran is gen.
orally conceded by master students OF
the game TO be the coming Hoppe OF
the billiard world. says a writer in
Philadelphia Public ledger. There is
no doubt that this youngster is won.
derfully gifted In this respect, but no
has yet a great deal to learn before
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23

shows that | stand Il real well. I took
the Compound when my ten year old
daughter came and IL helped me a lot.
] have also had my Oldest girl taxi IL
and it did her lots Of good. | keep II in
the house all the time ard recommend
it."-Mrs. DEWITT SNcEBAUGH, West
Dandy. n. Y.
Sleeplessness, nervousness, irritable
ity, backache, headaches, dragging sem
%sations, all point 10 female derange-
ments which may be overcome By Lydia
Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
This famous remedy, the medicinal
ingredients Of which are derived from
native roots and herbs, has for forty
years proved 10 be most valuable tonic
and ~invigorator Of the female organism.
Women everywhere bear willing testi-
mony to the wonderful virtue of Lydia
Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
Nodded Salmon With Celery Salad.

Separate salmon into flakes. Have
ready a clear, gelatined mixture, made
by dissolying In two cuptuls and one.
half of boiling water two tablespoon.
iuls OF graduated gelatin which have
soaked fifteen minutes in half n cup.
full OF cold water. Add one.half cup.
full OF lemon Juice. When cool, stir
in the faxed fish, together with slices
OF h%ard.boiled egg, previously sea.
soped with pepper, salt and onion
juice. Turn into Il wet border mold.
To serve, unmold on platter and Ill
center cavity with celery and lettuce
dressed with ~mayonnalse. Decorate
edge of platter with small, curvins let
tuce leaves holding additional mayor.
naise.-From the Delineator.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23

been harvested has put millions Of dol.
lars In the hands OF the farmers. and
the work of distribution through the
regular channels of trade has already
begun. Millions OF bushels OF grain
are still IN the hands Of the farmers,
OF rcali2able wealth that will be stead.
lily going into circulation. bcnctltting
the thousands who are dependent In.
directly on the basic industry Of the
province for their livelihood.
The mock prosperity that rested on
the insecure foundation OF inflated real
estate values has passed away. and in
its place the corner stone of the coun.
try's sound financial future is being
built.
The trust and mortgage companies.
the large implement concerns and the
Wholesale merchants all tell the same
story today of marked Improvement
In their business. The farmers and
others are meeting their just dues and
paying Off debts that IN many cases
have been long overdue. Collections
are better today than they have been
since the most prosperous days of our
history. and obligations are being mot
Irccly and promptly.
Now | said, why should they
wait until the war is oycr?"
And he agreed with mc.-Advertise-
mcnt.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
COOKING LIMA BEANS
MATTER WORTHY CAREFUL AT.
TENTIoN OF HOUSEWIFE.
Food Specialists Suggest Some Meth
DDS Of Preparing the Dried and
Canned Product TO the Best
Possible Advantage.

Food experts have long been insist.
ing Upon the Importance of dried
beans, peas, cowpeas and similar
legumes. and In one form or another
such foods are an accepted part OF tho
diet in most families, In order that
she may make the diet varied, 1t is to
the ~housekeeper's advantage 10 know
u number OF good ways of serving such
foods, and so the home economies ex.
perts of the department have made
some suggestions based upon their
studies OF foods and their uses In the
home.
Fresh green lima beans when at
their best have a delicate. spicy or
pungent flavor. which to some palates,
ut least, suggests curry, a fairly well.
known tany grocer can get III though
not very common spice. which is per.
haps most familiar in such dishes as
"curried lamb" or "curfied veal" This
suggested the possible use of curry as
n seasoning for lima beans, and the
tests which have been made gave very
satisfactory results with dried and
canned as we'll as with fresh beans.
When preparing dried lima beans.
soak them an hour or two Tor even
longer, according to dryness, and
cook until tender. Then add the curry
powder Tin the proportion of one.half
teaspoonful OevelD TO each pound OF
dried beans) rubbed into a tablespoon.
full OF butter and mixed with a few
%spoonfuls OF hot water. Add salt
and pepper to taste and cook slowly
until the curry flavor is we'll dis.
tributed through the beans.
That the method can also be fol.
lowed with good results in preparing
canned lima beans for the table is OF
interest TO housckeepers as we'll as to
the canning clubs organized as a part
OF the department work and for whom
some special studies OF the use OF
canned vegetables have been under.
taken. In this case. as with dried
beans, the amount OF curry powder
should be just sufficient to give a deli
cate flavor. A quarter of IA teaspoon
full OeveD is sufficient for u quart can
of beans.
For variety L little onion may be
used, with or without curry. Cut the
onion very fine, cook 1t In a covered
stewpan with a little butter and a few
tablespoonfuls OF water until II is ten
der, and then add to the beans.
Another good combination Is canned
lima beans with pimientos or sweet
peppers, with or without the addition
OF the finely.chopped onion, cooked
until It is tender. The pimientos, be.
cause OF their red color, add to the at.
Effectiveness OF the dish as well as 10
the favor. One.half OF n good.sized
pepper, cut into small pieces, is suf!i-
cient for a quart can of beans. Stir
into the beans and cook with them
long enough 10 distribute the flavor
through the beans.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
English Plum Puddina.

One pound suet, one quart rolled
cracker crumbs, n pint -four, one
pound %currants, n and one.half
pounds r~aisins, one.halt pound citron.
one cupful sugar, one-half cupful mo.
iasses. Beat two eggs, pour a little
cold water over them. o~ne.fourth tea
spoonful cassia, one half allspice, a III.
tie Glove, two nutmegs. Mix pretty
stir with -four and steam six or seven
hours.
Sauce for It-One and one.halt cup
fuls sugar, one tablespoonful butter.
n teaspoonful -four, Beat TO n foam
and pour In boiling water. Flavor TO
taste,
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
PERFECT HEALTH
Istt's pills keep the system IN perfect order.
They regulate the bowels and produce
VIGOROUS BODY.
Remedy for sick headache, constipation.
TUFTS Pills
sententiousncss Faeetlous.

A minister who lives in a small town
Is noted for his sententiousness both
In and out of the pulpit. As he was
coming down the street one day a man
accosted him with. sir. ran YOU tell
me how to find the sherin's office"
yes, sir was the instant reply.
Every time you earn five dollars
spend ten" And he walked on. leav.
ing the astonished man gazing after
him.-llarper's Magazine.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
INDIGESTION, GAS
OR SICK STOMACH
Time 1t! Pape's Diapepsln ends
all Stomach misery in five
minutes.

DO some foods you eat hit back
taste good. but work badly: Torment
into stubborn Jumps and cause a sick,
sour. gassy stomach? Now, Mr.. or
Mrs. Dyspeptic, jot this down: Pape's
Diapepsin digests everything. leaving
nothing to sou and upset you. There
never was anything so safely quick. so
certainly effective. No difference how
badly your stomach is d~isordered you
will get happy relief in FIVE minutes.
but what p~leases you most Is that IL
strengthens and regulates your stom.
Gch so you a eat your favorite foods
without fear.
You feel different as soon as "Pape's
D%lapepsin" comes in contact with the
stomach-distress Just vanishes-your
stomach gets sweet. no gases. no belch.
ing. no e%ructations OF u~ndigcsted food.
Go now, make the best investment
you ever made, by getting n large fifty.
cent case OF Pare's Diapepsin from any
store. You realize in five minutes how
needless It is TO suffer from indiges.
ton, dyspepsia or bad stomach. Adv.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
EtheI'a Mufdna.

One'half cupful graham -four, one.
half cupful bran. one.half cupful rye
-four, one.half cupful white -four, ono
third or one.half cupful cornmcal, one.
half cupful sugar, n "teaspoonful salt.
two |well'rounded teaspoonfuls baking
powder, onethird cupfIl OF ground
dates. Mix all these ingredients, then
add about one and onethlrd cupfuls
OF milk, one beaten egg, one table
spoon melted butter, Bake In moder.
ate oven.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1916-03-23
RECIPE FOR GRAY HAIR.

To half pint OF water add l OF. BAY Rum, .
small box OF Bsrbo Compound, and 4 on. Of
glycertne Apply 10 the hair twice a week
until II becomes the desired shade. Any drug.
gist can put this up or you can mix II at
home at very little cost. II will gradually
darken streaked, faded gray hair, aud re-
moves dandruif. II Is excellent for falling
hair and will make harsh hair soft aud glossy.
IL will not color the scalp, is not sticky or
greasy, and does not rub 81 .-Ady.