The Washington herald., 1916-01-10
MAXIM SPEECH
RAPS congress
inventor Says Lawmakers
Are Plumbers and
Some Lawyers.
"LAMENTED Mr.. BRYAN
Asserts Roosevelt Generous in Saying
W. ]. B. Has the Brain of
Three Guinea Pigs.

New York, Jan. s.-In a sensational
speech before the Aeronautical Society
Hudson Maxim paid his respects to
Congress, which he said was composed
mainly Of lawyers and political plumb
ers; drew unflattering portraits of W. j.
Bryan and one David Starr" contrib
uted a new page to the volume of shumor
evoked by the Ford peace junket. and
declared that the pacihst had ringed the
nose Of the American people and were
leading them to slaughter. He said:
'our Congress is made up mainly OF
lawyers and political plumbers. Con.
gressmen are not obliged to undergo any
civil service examination. They are moi
required to possess any aptitude or fit
ness for the duties of their high office
beyond doing political jobwork
often the Congressional naval com.
mittees, whose judgment is final. know
no more about what the navy actually
needs or what the country's needs are
for national defense, as a whole, than
they would know about performing q
surgical operation, acting the part OF
Hamlet or writing a poem.
IT learned from Col Roosevelt at the
American Defense Society luncheon that
the French aviation corps numbers more
men and officers than the entire regular
army of the United States. The French
are thoroughly alive to the value ol
aviation.
I'VE have a mighty coast line, which
would require careful watching in the
event of war. We should Immediately
construct 5000 aeroplanes and a dozen
dirigible balloons of the latest Zeppelin
type. This would give US nucleus tc
work from and build from after wal
comes.
Bryan His Target.
.sr7t,s to-..n..s ryuIi.,x, roz.I.c, r-,.x
did the present administration a very
good turn when he delivered that back
hand God bless you and left the Cab
met. 1 do not by lamented mean thai
Mr.. Bryan is dead. for II he were dead
should refer to him as the lamented
I'm the current number OF Harper
Weekly Col. Roosevelt Is credited with say
ing of Mr.. Bryan that he has the brair
OF three guinea pigs, and that when ht
says three he exaggerates. To my mint
Col. Roosevelt is strongly inclined tc
generosity.
Ladies and gentlemen, II this countr,
does not arouse itself and prepare to de
fend itself, and without much further de
lay, we shall soon see our homes ir
flames.
But there is a performance being en-
acted on another stage in the American
mphitheater-'Uacle Sammy Unter Allies
ana the races OF inc mult1tuOe are turn
ed In that direction. and their eyes are
absorbed by what the scene painter hal
pictured there-s sort of millennis
dreamlsnd OF nightingales. The atmos
phere is flocked with doves OF peace
bearing olive branches
The multitude Is listening with all ears
to the peace spielings of the star in the
performance, him of first magnitude, DIR
David Starr. Across his well-victualet
frontal expanse there is an arrow point
ing to the region of the liver, and over
the liver is written the word white
THE fat man on his right Is armed
with a mouth so wide that 1t makes the
top Of his head a peninsula. He wears
a halo, but not above his head. It Is
around the back of his neck, and Is com
posed of flowing locks of hair. His face
wears a Wallingford look, combined with
the smile Of an angel One eye Is avert
ed toward heaven, while the other eye
Is watching his hat, held in his right
hand. expectant for the drop of a coin
and in his left hand there is a bottle OF
grape Juice. I shall not reveal the iden.
tity of this person.