davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Still, There Are Some.

"Gosh ding!"
whats the matter, friend?"
Il wish | could find hotel that was
run to suit me-"
ITS a difficult matter, friend This
hotel isn't run to suit me- and yet |
own t."-Lousville Courier-Journal.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Awful Mobiles.

Lewis, a minister's son, listened
gravely one evening while the minis
ter expressed his views regarding tight
skirts to his wife.
The next Sunday morning Lewis
tried, by waving his hand and point
ing, to attract his fathers attention
toward two ladies entering the church.
His efforts seemed to be ia vain, and
at last he called:
Look quick, father there's two aw-
full wobbles in the aisle"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Useless Visitor.

"Say, young feller," said Bronco Bob,
have you got gun on youT
mo, sir" replied the man with the
brand-new cowboy uniform. 81 was
told that it was better To be unarmed,
so as to avoid any impression that
was seeking quarrel"
swell, that's big disappointment
l needed a brand new gun an thought
you'd be bringin' along at least pair
of 'em. Don't you let anything like
this occur again. Star.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
RED, ROUGH, PIMPLY SKIN
Quickly Cleared by Cuticura Soap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

You may rely ON these fragrant.
super-creamy emollients to care for
your skin, scalp, hair and hands. Moth
ing better to clear the skin of pimples.
blotches, redness and roughness, the
scalp of dandruf and itching and the
hands of chapping and soreness.
Free sample each by mail with Book
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Pretty Often, Too.

During Bible lesson teacher was
trying to explain the parable of the
tares.
"Can anyone tell me any person who
is like the evil one who sowed the
taresT"
A hand instantly shot up from the
foot of the class.
well, David, what person do you
say?'
please, ma'am, my mother"
"Why?' asked the teacher III aston
lshment
Because, answered ne, eying
his patched, trousers, "she sews tears"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

it's last stages, /
tried Dodd's Kid
ney Pills. After
using two boxes /
was somewha ct re-
lieved and : stop
ped the treatment.
In the spring of
the next year l
had another at
tack. | went ,or
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Can You Beat 1t?

Mrs. EXe-My girl has left me. She
said | had so much company there was
too much work to do.
Mrs. Wye-That's singular. Mine
has left me, too. She said / had so
little company it showed l had no So
cial position.-Boston Evening Tran
script.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Ills a Scale of Wealth

Rich Brothers folks may occasion
ally need surgeon, but Poor Broth
er's folks never need anybody except
the family doctor.-Fort Worth Star
Telegram.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
DRUGGISTS HIGHLY RECOMMEND
DIR. KILMER'S SWAMP-ROOT
Satisfied With Results

have been selling DR.. Kilmer's
SwampRoot for six and one-half years
and my customers are always satisfied
with the results obtained from the use
of the medicine and speak favorably re-
garding it. l have used it for pain in
the back" and bottle or two put me in
good shape and made me feel fine again.
believe DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root will
cure any cases for which it is recommend
ed if they are not of too long standing.
Very truly yours,
FRANK JENKINS, Druggist.
Pilgrim, Texas.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Exception Noted.

81 believe everything appeals to
Smiths sense of humor."
II didn't when he fell down on a
concrete pavement and hit his funny
bone.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
PUT BUSINESS LESSON FIRST
Younoster Had Excellent Defense
When Hauled Before the Parental
Tribunal for Fighting.

my SON.
Eyes, pop"
do you remember what your
Sunday school teacher told you about
fighting?"
"Yes, sir.''
"Then why did you strike that Hem
mandhaw boy with your fist?'
"He struck me first"
"But what about your Sunday school
lessonw
81 thought about your lesson first"
"What lesson?"
"Your business lesson"
81 am afraid l do not know what
you mean"
''You told me always to do every
thing in a strictly business way"
Eyes"
"Well, when he delivered wallop
on my nose / just had to give him a
receipt. "-Youngstown Telegram.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
THE PRoFEs SoR's STATEMENT.

Prof. Aug. F. w. Schmitz, Thomas,
Okla, writes: Il was troubled with
Backache for about twenty-five years.
When told l had Bright's Disease in
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Odious Comparison.

81 have seen potatoes worth their
weight in gold" said the man from tho
Klondike.
'"The idea,' exclaimed Miss Cayenne,
"of comparing anything so precious as
potato to mere jewelry."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

Send ten to DR. Kimer Co., Bhamton N Y
will booklet of
telling
f all
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

The vain show attracts the eye, but
makes heavy the heart.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

To keep clean and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets They regulate
liver. bowels and stomach.-Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
The Secret Out.

The widower and the eX-widower
Glanced to meet in downtown wet
goods emporium.
"You seem to be remarkably happy
since you married the second time"
'emarked the widower. whats the
explanation?
my wife is firm believer In fairy
stories. See?" rejoined the ex-wid-
over.
And as the seeing wasagood, the 9TH
er looked through the bottom of his
glass and saw clearly.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

A wonanGlay be as old as she looks,
but she is seldom as young as she
acts.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

INIT NItHHtU UI3 TIC yOUHS IHuI, UIIeT
glancing at .hef hair on the floor and
thinking the barber was trying to put
one over on him, said he GUESSED not"
After asking the same question sew
eral times to no avail the barber gave
1t up. The young man paid his bill
himself, thinking he wasn't 50 green
after all.
Afterward 1t dawned on him that
the barber wanted only to give him n
shampoo.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Their Class

"A doctor can't make an honest liv-
Ing"
"Why can't hep"
Because since his income comes ell
tirely from sick people, his are ILL
gotten gains"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Two Wal

WV Wa
Some yeaI
a small cor
cinnati, wal
town barber
cut. J
After thee
some time on
asked him ifN
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29

Rettcr drawback than setback.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Same Principle.

Same Principle.
Willis-What system do these mill
tary airplanes work on?
Gillis-One person runs the machine
and the other is just an observer, but
both of them fight.
Willis-I see; just like being mar
ried.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Ming Up"

"iVS W.
hing man from
on visiting Gin
bne OF the down.
to have his hair
r had clipped for
|oung mans head, he
h dn't better have his
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1916-12-29
Prove What Swamp Root Will Do For You

November 18th, 1915.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
TODAY's BIRTHDAY HONORs

Hon. Arthur b. Pugh, whose work
as attorney for the interstate COM
merce commission, has placed him
among the foremost lawyers of the
country, is 81 years old today. He
was born in Hampshire county, W.
Va, and was educated in the public
schools and in the University of Vir-
ginia. He practiced law for many
years in Virginia before going to
Washington in 1897. He became a
special assistant to the attorney gen.
eral in 1906, and conducted for the
United States the land fraud prose-
cutions. He handled the pioneer
case from it's beginning in 1903 to
it's conclusion and the conviction of
the parties in 1908. Mr.. Pugh is
widely known in church circles, be-
ing an active worker in the Metho-
dist Church South.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
ss@aes"ENz.s.rEsIt t.ek .i "rS. -
Declares u. S. Was
Warned of Villas
ATTACK on Columbus

New York, March 2S-ln a letter
to his father here, Marcus M. Mar
shall describes the Villa raid of Co
lumbus, n. NJ, severely criticising
the American troops for allowing
themselves to be surprised No
troops were patrolling the border, he
says, although warning that Villa
was approaching had been received
Villa hanged two of the men en-
ployed on the O,OOO-acre ranch
of the elder Marshall, at Polomas,
Mex, below Columbus, and ordered
his outlaws to ride their horses over
a third man.
The letter, which has been for
warded to General Hugh l.. Scott,
chief of staff of the army, is in part
as follows:
Dear Father-ln pursuance of
your Geographic instructions, | left
dos Angeles, reaching here the 18th.
u found Foreman Jim Fondille, who
had been for three days endeavoring
to get trace of Foreman Mckinney
and the branding outfit
Fondille reported that he could see
where a large troop of horses had
passed only short time before,
about 500 to 900, but he could not
judge the number accurately. never
having seen a trail made by just one
passage of troop. Fondille claims
having seen Villas outfit just at
dusk on Tuesday
Antonio, one of the Mexican boys
whom our company has raised and
who was with Foreman Mckinney
at the time of Villas capture of Nc
kinley's outfit. gives the following
report:
At about s o'clock on the morn
ing of Tuesday we We're coming down
the Boca Grande river when McKin-
ney and myself sighted about 500
men beginning to make camp They
were unsaddling and starting to
| cook coffee. Mckinney wanted to GO
up to their camp and talk to them
but | said to him, Arthur. please
don't go. for they may be Villistas.
| told him this several times, but
| finally he turned to me and said:
We'll. I'm going to talk to them;
are you such coward that you don I
want to go with me?' | told him.
that if they were Villistas they
would certainly kill us. so what was
le use lahIn- sucn CrdLy risn
hat it would be better to stay where
we were and wait to see what they
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

intended doing He went away, TAX
ing one of the other Mexican boys
with him.
Il then went down toward the
river to head off the toher boys,
who were dragging upstream. | met
COrbett and Juan and showed them
the camp of horsemen. Corbett said
that he would join Mckinney, for
to him it looked as though Arthur
was all right. But warned Corbett
also and told him to wait and see
what would develop. He rode di-
rectly into the camp, however, not
withstanding just at that time we
saw troop of about 20 horsemen
coming in our direction.
These men had sighted us, and
we started north for the line. They
gave us close chase, but we gave
them the slip in canyon and came
straight into Columbus, arriving
here the same night. Upon reaching
here | notified the colonel of the
United States troops of the happen
ings of the day, and he sent me back
next day to locate the land and re-
/ port to him. I reported that night
Wednesday, that villa, with about
500 or 700 men, was on the Rio
Grande river and was headed this
way The following morning the
Villa outfit attacked Columbus
| Bunk. the negro water foreman of
the Oihitas ranch. who was a captive
with Villa at the time Villa took
Foremen Mckinney and Corbett, to-
gether with the balance of the brand
ing outfit, makes the following re-
port on the death of those two men:
Mckinney rode right into the
camp of Villa. and as he rode through
he inspected the horses quite thor
oughly. The MeXicans took him cap
tive, and soon after took Corbett who
came into camp of his own accord.
Their capture was reported to Villa,
who at the time was not in the
camp. Villa ordered them hanged
Mckinney laughed and joked with
the men as they were making prep
arations, and shook hands with me
and some of the men as he was pull
ed up on the limb of tree, remark
ing that there was only one chance
to die.
'Corbett also shook hands with
me when he came into camp, and at
that time realized his time had come,
He took his Death like a brave man.
"ONeil and the cook were also
killed The cook was laid on the
ground and so horses lined up to run
over him, for he was fighting every
second The second horse went over.
but as the third jumped he grabbed
the stirrup and swung up behind the
! rider; he had almost choked together
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

the Mexican rider when bullet
pierced his heart and he fell
Bunk and Mrs. Walker. who was
also captive, escaped from the Villa
outfit during the retreat from Column
bus.
The blame for the Columbus affair
should rest on the United States ar
my. 1t had been forewarned, not
only by Foreman Fondille and An
tonic, but men, as to Villas where
abouts and the directions being fol-
lowed by Villa on his march, but had
information from several other
sources. AS understand, there were
no troops patrolling the border dur
ing that night-only sentries about
the camp of troops in Columbus.
Villa left his horses about 300
yards south of the town and came in
mainly from the south and west.
Villas outfit was in the town about
one hour and half before with
drawing. The United States army
was extremely lucky in having so few
soldiers killed. believe seven in
mum ber-and luck is all that it can
be called. A large part of their
guns and ammunition was locked up.
Overconfidence and the thought that
Villa would not dare attack de-
tachment of United States troops no
doubt lulled our soldiers into feel
ing OF security.
The last two nights have just
about cleaned this town (Columbus)
out of Mexicans; Thursday night five
were shot, Friday four and last night
three.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
UGH! CAL0mEL MAKES YOU S|CK,|
DON'T STAY BILIOUS, CoNST|PA7'

Your druggist or dealer sells !
SO cent bottle of Dodson's Liver
under my personal guarantee tn
will clean your sluggish liver better
nasty calomel; it won't make you
and you can eat anything you
without being salivated. Your drI
guarantees that each spoonful will
your liver, clean your bowels
straighten you up by morning OF
get your money back. Children 4
take Dodson's Liver Tone because
pleasant tasting and doesn't gril
cramp or make them sick.
I am selling millions Of bottll
Dodson's Liver Tone to people who
found that this pleasant, vegetable,
medicine takes the place of dang
calomel. Buy one bottle on my I
reliable guarantee Ask your dn1
about me.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
Chum Bob's Sporting Talk

New York, March 2S-Uniess
something entirely unforeseen occurs,
the pitchers, Bill Donovan will throw
upon the turf at Ebbetts Field week
from today will be the best condition
ed band of hurlers the Yankees have
ever brought out of the South. The
New York slabsters have so bene-
fitted from their training that there
is scarcely man among the seven
teen comprising the staff who is not
fit to go almost any distance Dono-
van cares to send him.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
Lightning MADE Fountain.

Lightning struck a telegraph pole
in the upper part OF New York city
a few weeks ago and turned it into
a fountain. Investigation showed that
the lightning hau ruptured water
mann beneath the pavement and that
the path provided by the tubular pole
was the only means of escape for the
leaking water. Since, to shut off the
main would have deprived a large dis
trict of its water supply, the i'm
promptu fountain was allowed to rur
during the night. and the main was
repaired next day.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
MARCH % IN HISTORY
1520-Death of Raphael, the cele-
brated painter.

1520-Death of Raphael, the cele-
brated painter.
1802--Planet Pallas discovered.
William Mckinley
of Ohio appealed for interna-
tional trade reciprocity in a
speech at Minneapolis, Mimi.
1S9S-Anton Seidl, noted musician,
died
Cambridge defeated oxford in
the annual athletii games.
190i-French Chamber of Deputies
passed bill debarring the re-
liiious orders from teaching
in France.
1914-Serious situation in Ohio be-
tween cial operators and OPP
eratives.
1915-New atrocities inflicted upon
Armenians by the Turks.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
"Dodson's Liver Tone" viii Clean Your
Sluggish Liver Better Than Calumsl
and Can Not SaIivats.

Calomel makes you sick; you lose a
days work. Calomel is quicksilver and
it salivates; calomel Injuries your liver.
If you are bilious; feel lazy, sluggish
and all knocked out, if your bowels are
constipated and your head aches or
stomach is sour, just take spoonful of
harmless Dodson's Liver Tone instead
Of using sickening, salivating calomel.
Dodson's Liver Tone is real liver medi.
cine. You'n know it next morning be-
cause you will wake up feeling fine,
your liver will be working, your head
ache and dizziness gone your stomach
will be sweet and bowels regular. You
will feel like working. You'll be cheer
full; full of energy, vigor and ambition.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

nationalist Karl, and himself one of
the headiest of the second fight play
ers, has patented rubber-soled shoe
that he thinks will but tennis shoe
expenses in half The device pro-
vides for detachable rubber soles
These soles may be bought much
cheaper than a new pair of shoes,
and may be attached in a few mo-
ments to the special style upper
manufactured for them. Behr is en-
thusiastic over his invention and in
tends to introduce it to player friends
this summer.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

frankie Callahan and Jimmy
Griffiths are matched to meet in
12-round bout at Akron, Ohio, to-
night. Both are swift fighters and
each man has the idea that he is the
other fellows superior. Akron fight
fans certainly know good fight
when they see one and the impress
sion the contestants make in the
Ohio town will be a valuable asset
in their lighting career, if it's favor
able one -.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

Troubles never end, it seems, in
the Three-I League. No sooner does
the National Commission award it
Rock Island than Freeport proceeds
to drop out and President AL Tearny
finds himself still confronted with a
seven-club circuit. If Freeport does
not reconsider, it is probable that
Galesburg will fill the gap. The
Three-I, at it's recent meeting in Mo-
line decided to open the season April
26 and close September 4, playing a
schedule of $40 games.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
q q q . q q = q o q q q 9 =
DIRECTORY
q q q q q q q q q q q q o q

Governor-Park Trammell, ITALIA
hassee.
Secretary of State-H Clay Craw
ford, Tallahassee.
Treasurer. e. Luning, ra!la
hassee.
Comptroller w. '. Knott, leila
hassee.
Superintendent Public instruction
w. n. Sheats, Tallahassee.
Adjutant General-J.- Clifford r
Foster, St. Augustine.
Attorney General-T. r. West
Tallahassee.
Railroad Commissioners Hud
son Burr, Newton A. Bitch, Roya
c. Dunn. Tallahassee.
Members Supreme Court-R. F,
Taylor, Thos NJ Shackleford, j. B
Whitfield, R. s. Crockrell, W. E
Ellis.
Senators-D. U. Fletcher, Jack
sonville; Nathan P. Bryan, Jackson
Vile.
Congressmen-Step N. Spark
man, Tampa; Frank Clark, Gaines
Vile; Emmett Wilson, Ma.iAAns: w
]. Sears, Kissimmee.
District Court-Rhydon II. Gall
judge, Jacksonville; E. r. Williams
clerk. Jacksonville; H. s. Phillips
district attorney, Tampa; N. H
Boswell, marshal, Dunnellon; j. C,
Brown, marshal, Lakeland; David S
Williams, commissioner, Oeala.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
Grammar.

Grammar is the science, or art, Of
correct speech. tits quite true that
some people are able to speak and
write correctly without having stud
led the rules as laid down in gram
mar, but it is none the less true that
but for a knowledge of the rules the
majority of people would write and
speak in a most barbarous fashion
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

Manager Jimmie Callahan of the
Pirates has substituted soccer foot
ball for baseball at the camp of the
Smoketown crew. The weather has
been too cold to play the national
pastime.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28
Rise of Te1as

Texas. which in 1850 stood twelfth
N rank. is now the seventh state in
he American Union in point Of
wealth. 1t is first in point of size and
fifth in population. and its railroads
are of higher value than those OF
any other state.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

Practically all of last years lead
ing 2-year-olds have been entered for
the Latonia derby. Among the list
that have already been entered are
Bluse, Dodge, Blackie Daw, Big
Smoke, Kinney, Checks, Jacoba and
Mary II.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

The University of California is
considering making tennis minor
sport. In a state where the game is
played so well by SO many, tennis is
not only major but a general sport
and it is certain that thousands of
complaints will be registered against
the change If it is adopted by the
university.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

Pal Brown, the Hibbing, Mimi.
lightweight has retired. His eye
sight has been bad and like Young
Shagrue, he thiught it better to give
up than continue handicapped as he
is
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

Reports from Marlin are par
ticularly enthusiastic about Hans
Lobert, who is said to have walked
up and is showing some of his old
time form. McGraw saws Hans looks
great and that he is no longer wor
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-28

Acquiring Mohammedan Title.
Any Mohammedan who commits the
whole of the Koran to memory is Civ
en- the title of Hafiz.-Cincinnati En-
Quirer