The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-02-27

''He follows me all the time. He fol- lowed me up to the rostrum in the Senate today and almost sat in the chair"
 FAIRBANKS AND PENROSE
 Former Vice President Fairbanks. displaying a handful of tickets for a group of delegates locked up in the baggage car' of the Chicago special, came next. He wanted to leave a few more tickets for any stray delegates who might relish little transporta- tion." He was closely followed by two men described by one of the guards in stage whisper, as the two wicked est men in the world-Uncle Joe Can non and Boisey Penrose" The imper- senator of Senator Penrose asked: "ls this the regular train? and was as- sured by the gateman that everything Is regular this year" Penrose wanted to know if the gateman had seen any one by the name of Roosevelt hanging around.
 q heard he was going the senator unused. TT. R. did me a great favor once-he made some speeches for Pin chot"
 Uncle Joe." urging the senator to hurry, asked if he expected to pay MT. Roosevelt's fare.
 I'm willing-if he'd use the ticke, OQyJ WdS lllS dllSM tI
 Senator Weeks came along with a great bag which he said was full of New England delegates.f He was told to check it, but warned mot to let Sam Mccall know where he put the check.
 Next came a passenger, greeted as General Burleson, dahgling string of dummies which he referred to as Ifost- masters They caused the gateman to wonder if General Burleson had adopt ed Frank Hitchcock's children"
 Colonel Roosevelt was followed by George Perkins, and they made a great commotion. Perkins was carrying a bag, which he said was so light it kept flying out of his hand. The gateman asked what was in it.
 eEphraim's diet" replied the bogus Roosevelt. ''Fm going to feed it to the republicans"
 The gateman pointed out that Colonel Roosevelts ticket was for the progress sive train and dated 1912, but the Colonel told him he talked Hike a Byzantine logothete" Perkins had no ticket He was merely to see the colonel on the train, he explained.
 'Yes, and I'll see him off''-"at the first trestle,'' exclaimed the next passen- ger familiarly greeted as Bill Barns. This passenger waved an axe, which he called "an olive branch" to be presented to someone between the fourth and fifth vertebrae.''
 BRYAN BUSHES IN
 Time was up and the gates closed, when in rushed William J. Bryan. He carried a shotgun on which was mounted a dove of peace. and eXcitedly told the gate man that he had to get through as he had important business on the St. Louis train. His ticket, the guard said, was only a half-rate clergymans ticket, but he gained his point and was allowed to slip through the gate on his promise to run" for the train.
 !, You'll have to be some runner,' com mented the gateman.
 T am," replied Bryan. as he darted away. Been running for 20 years"
 After the gates were relocked, two ne- groes entered They explained they were delegates from ''the Sunny South, and wanted to go to Chicago.
 ssThis here station is closed for the sea- son." the gateman replied. If you want to go to Chicago you gotta walk Walk, walki''
 PRESIDENT MAKES SPEECH
 No Gridiron banquet would be complete without Major Stofer's 'tWatermelon Song" which he sang in excellent voice and in the chorus of which the members joined. After Senator Harding's witty remarks, the white lights were extin- guished and the red thrown on, giving the room a rich, warm" glow for the burlesQue on Offenbach's operetta "Or- pheus and Eurydice." In this skit the members and their guests had lot of fun with contemporaneous politics and politicians.
 After innumerable laughs, the club sang:
 "All through the land they're talking
 Wilson of you;
 Some say you'll win in walking
 Race number two; Opponents fiercely crawling,
 Threaten anew; And everywhere they're callin',
 Calling for you
 This song introduced President Wilson who responded with an address lasting E minutes.
 The flowers used in the decorations will be sent in the morning. as other mornings after their dinners, to the va rous hospitals of the city.