The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-04-13

! words to say. l merely wishes t
J state dat dis suttinly is going TO be
lesson to me-"
A woman hired jutney to take he
out into the country. A few miles GU
the driver alighted from the car an,
began tinkering with the engine
Whats the matter2" asked the pas
senger. "The engine is missing" re
piled the driver THAT'S singular,
remarked the woman. at was there
all right when we started, wasn't it 2
Pat was showing his brother Mike
who had just come over, the sight:
around West Point, when they were
startled by the report of the sunset
gun at the barracks. "What's that?"
asked Mike, much alarmed. "Oh," an
swered his brother nonchalantly
that's SHUTDOWN" "Sure," observed
Mike, land the sun goes down with
an awful thump in this country"
An Oregon man went into a bust
ness house and stated that his wife
had made up her mind to go back to
Idaho. Back there" he explained,
"she used TO sit around and sigh for
tubful Of good, soft rain water in
which to wash the clothes and it be-
came so tiresome | moved to Oregon.
We have been here two months and
now she has all the rain water she
can use and wants to move back to
Idaho to get the clothes dried"
whats this?" exclaimed the
young husband, referring to the mem
orandum she had given him. "One
dozen eggs, pound of raisins, bottle
Of lemon extract, tin of ground Gin
namon, and a half pound of sugar.
What on earth do you want with
all these grocery things, Elaine? ?"
1--we got stale loaf" replied the
young wife, that am going to
save by working up into bread pud-
ling. | never let anything go to
waste, Henry especially in war
incl"
A nplppa1 bA,VI
paying $40 day for workmen in an
factory, so he quit his
oh and announced he would seek EN-
'loyment at the powder works. Next
however, found Sam sweep
ng out as usual. His employer asked
Tim why he had returned. "Pse done
hanged my mind" said Sam 81 went
'ver to the factory and they done
ffer me a job at de fust place / in
uire. There was white gentleman
here, an he looks oveh his specs
nd says to me: What am yo' name
told him. Then he said: Where
oes you want yo' body sent in case
b accident?' An | says: IF hits
lst the same to yo' I'll just tote it
ack home myself and here Pse is"
"There are some men," remarked
Id Bill Misgivens, "who just natur- .
Ily have the gambling instinct. There ,
as Jim Brassfeld who had it strong
( than any other man | ever knew
m was ready and anxious to bet on
nything. One day he was sitting at
lie table at a country hotel. Il will
ct any of you gentlemen said Jim
llling out his pocketbook, that you
i'll find hair in that butter; or | will
It that you won't find one. Place
our bets, gentlemen, up to So. AS
side bet | will put up a dollar that
e hair will be red, or that it will be
ack. There are two girls in the
tchen, one red headed, the other
ack. Again say, gentlemen, place
,ur bets. | will also bet you, my
nd headed friend, that one of these
es which are circling about over this
ming table will get into your coffe
fore you can drink it. Place your
t up to SO either that it will or that
will not Riding along the road
it'll another man Jim offered to bet
to 10 that the next man they met
ould be cross eyed, and / to that
would have hare lip. He would
i that he could tell what church
stranger belonged to, or whether he
ID had beans for dinner. One day
was riding on steamboat on the
Mo river. The boat was running
looth enough and there was no in
cation of danger A fellow passen-
r spoke to Jim about the safety of
e boat You are so blamed sure this
at is perfectly safe | will bet you
0 to $50 that it blows up before it
is mile beyond the next bend in
e river The fellow passenger said
at was good bet, and he would