davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Denver labor bulletin., 1916-11-04
HACKETHAL BROS.
Undertakera.

Members of organized labor in Den
yer and vicinity are generally in
formed As to the courtesies and at
tention given by Hackethal Bros.,
Undertakers, located At 1851 Kala-
math st. Phone Main 1858. Theo-
dore and George Hackethal compose
the firm, the latter being = member
Of Denver Typographical Union. Their
office and parlors arc open day and
night.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Philadelphia's Claim

If there were not the soundest finan-
cial reasons for putting one of those
twelve new farm loan banks in Phila-
delphia, a sentimental reason ought to
fetch ono here.
A Philadelphian originated the idea
OF such farm banks. 1t was Henry
Charles Carey whose writings put into
the head of Schultze-Delitsch the no.
ton for creating in Germany that sys-
tenn of farm banking. After Schultze-
Delitsch came Raiffeisen, who admitted
that he borrowed from his immediate
German predecessor. who in turn had
been inspired by the American Carey.
Those two German pioneers put into
practical test the theories of our fellow
townsman. and since then the whole
world has gone to Germany to learn
about farm banks.
But as you see. Philadelphia laid
that egg and the Fatherland merely
Matched it.-Girard. in Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
THAT VILLA RAID

CECRETARY OF WAR BAKER
- denies vehemently that Villa
took part in the recent raid in
Northern Mexico, despite General
Bells insistent assertion that Villa
was present.
AS Secretary Baker is in Washing
ton and General Bell is on the border.
of course the Secretary is in much
better position to know conditions
down there than is the General. The
Secretary is perhaps getting his in
formation from the same liars"
President Wilson says gave him some
of his news" from Mexico.
The whole trouble at Washington
has been that the administration has
accepted as facts all manner of back
stairs gossip concerning Mexico, while
ignoring the facts as presented by
those in a position to know them.
Secretary Baker has stationed Gen
eral Bell at the border to learn and
report the truth and now sits In his
office chair in far off Washington and
tells the man on the ground he doesn't
know what he is talking about.
villa Is dead. The Administration
has decided this is so. Therefore. If
must be SO.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Needed a Megaphone

A certain East End man is growing
more and more deaf. and greatly dis
iikes to admit it. He makes a brave
pretense of understanding what is said
to him, and this frequently entails
amusing mistakes. Not long ago a
nelghbor met him and said:
-, Perhaps you haven't heard about
the agreeable visitor that arrived at
our house yesterdays fine baby bow
"a perfect cherub?"
The deaf man smiled pleasantly and
replied: Ni-u
"Oh. we have lots of 'em at our
house: My wife gets them by the
bushel. Stews 'em. you know, and
puts 'em up. She put up more than
forty pots last summer. Yes, indeed"
why" said the bewildered neigh
Dor. what do you think said? %
Yes, she likes the red kind best -
continued the afflicted citizen. 'Says
they amt tough. Is yours the black
"Sir!" cried the indignant neighbor.
What are you talking about?"
The deaf man heard this.
why, cherries, of course" he pleas
antly remarked. That's what you
said. isn't it?" wv
But the neighbor walked away with
out explaining.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
MONEY FOR PARKS

Vx7HETHER OF not Commissioner
wv Gross happens to be entirely
familiar with the estimates
framed by his subordinates In charge
of the activities of his department, it
must be perfectly apparent to Council
that money Is needed to maintain the
city parks for the remainder of the
year and 1t should be Forthcoming.
The Park Department in 1914 re-
ceived $4,000 more than the depart
ment received last year and $4,000
more than it was given by budget
appropriation this year. In addition,
the department faced the destruction
of the Island Park athletic track by
flood and repair of a considerable por-
ton of the road in Wildwood which
was washed out. Notwithstanding this,
have been made with the money Aap-
propriated.
The people are using the parks as
never before and they want them
properly cared for and adequately DO
Iced. They look to the department to
keep the lawns and paths in good con-
dition, the tennis courts lined and the
golf course cropped. Councilmen are
generally able to find money for almost
any purpose upon which they set their
mind and failure to pass an additional
revenue measure as requested will be
looked upon by the people as slap by
Council at the welfare of the whole
park system.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
go Up Front!"

The district trustee was addressing a
school in Ohio.
Children" said he. 'I want to talk
to you for few moments about one
OF the most wonderful. one of the most
important, organs in the whole world.
what is 1t that .hrobs away, beats
away, never stop \ ,g, never ceasing.
whether you wake or sleep, night and
day, week in and week out, month in
and month out, year in and year out.
without any volition on your part, hid :
den away in the depths. as it were, un-
seen by you, throbbing. throbbing.
throbbing rhythmically all your life
long"
During the pause for oratorical ef-
feet small voice was heard.
Il know--it's the gas meter" Pitts
burgh Chronicle e-Telegraph.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
TRUE DEMOCRATIC OPINION

T>HERB is no doubt about the
Progressive SOW of Maine re-
turning to her wallow with a
whoop."
These chaste words fell from the
cultured lips of Senator Vardaman, of
Mississippi. when he learned that the
increase in the Republican vote of
Maine was Just about comparable
with the Progressive vote of two years
ago and that, in consequence of Re-
publican reunion. the State had re-
pudiated its Democratic Governor, its
Democratic Senator and it's Demo-
cratic Congressman. Vardaman is
clever enough to know that what hap
pened in Maine is happening all over
the country and that a reunited Re-
publican party will enable the nation
in November to repudiate it's Demo-
cratic President. But he was not
clever enough to conceal his real
opinion of the Progressives whose re-
turn to Republican ranks made pos
sible the victory in Maine and will
make possible the still greater victory
of two months hence.
Since June, the Democrats have
pursued the Progressives with honeyed
words. with places of power in the
party organizations and with promises
of substantial recognition In Federal
office in case of Democratic success.
1t is only by Progressive cooperation
that the Democratic party can remain
in power. When Progressives return
to their old allegiance, Democratic
-daaDa Ia saalad- And then Democrats
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
LABOR AND IJOUOR

THE Telegraph receives at regular
| i intervals a little sheet of pub
licity matter" purporting to be
the yosce of certain labor organiza-
ton defending the liquor traffic, but
SO apparently the work of a "wet'
press agent that its path to the waste
basket is marked before the envelope
is slit The circular makes violent
protest against the extension of "dry"
territory on the ground that prohibi-
ton is the enemy of the laboring man.
But 1t gives no reasons. Some dav
we are hoping its author will explain
how 1t comes. If what he contends is
true, that of an average dollar spent
for manufactured products labor gets
16.2 cents. while of dollar spent for
houor labor gets but two cents.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
PoGtc4 ~
Pe~~eqGSa~ia
BY the Ex- Committeeman

While the reception of the Harris
burg Republican Club on Friday even
ing will mark the opening of the cam
paign in Dauphin county. very little
activity is expected before the second
week of October. Dauphin county is
so safely within the Republican fold
this Fall that there is no call for an
early campaign. However. the welfare
of the ticket Is not being neglected
and much quiet work has been done
and is being done by the candidates
night promises to be the largest in the
history of the club. There will be
speechmaking by all the local candi-
dates, including Congressman Kreider
and Senator Beidleman. This rally
will be followed shortly by a similar
get-together meeting at the clubhouse
of the West End Republican Club,
when the candidates will be the guests
Of the uptown organization.
Senator Penrose, who was in Harris
burg this week on his way to Pitts
burgh. seldom uses the railroad for
trips about the State. He has become
one of the greatest automobile en-
thusiasts In Pennsylvania and an ar,
dent advocate of good roads. Formerly
the Senator went as quickly as possible
from one journeys end to the other
and would brook Of no delays. Now
he likes to let his driver set his pace
and is inclined to loiter in the larger
communities and delights to call on
his many friends scattered throughout
every county. "I never really knew
Pennsylvania until I began to take
these motor trips" he told friend
not long ago, "and certainly I never
appreciated the hospitality and kindli-
ness. of our Pennsylvania people as 1
have learned to do through the me-
dunn of the automobile"
An analysis of the reasons for the
failure of the Underwood tariff law
made by Senator Penrose. of Pennsyl-
vania, prior to the close of Congress,
has just appeared in the Congressional
Record. Included in the analysis are
tables showing the trade of the United
States before the European war and
during the European war. monthly
statements of the treasury and the
revenues and expenditures of the Fed
eral government under Democratic and
Republican administrations.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
BRINGING SCHOOL TO STUDENT
hEAN WILLIAM MCCLELLAN. of

IL the University of PENNSYLVANIA
Wharton School, In an address
last night before the Harrisburg whar-
ton Extension declared that the day ia
past when it should be necessary for
the man to go to the institution of
learning and that the new function of
the university is to take its learning to
the man. Economic conditions of the
present day make university extension
work absolutely necessary" he said.
~and the day is not far distant when a
branch OF some university or institution
OF learning will be found in every city
and town of consequence in the land"
That is what the Wharton School is
doing for Harrisburg. 1t brings the
business branch of the University of
Pennsylvania to the student. 1t gives
precisely the same quality of instruc-
ton here as constitutes the Wharton
School course at Philadelphia, and 1t
has this added advantage that it per-
nits the student to continue his Eae-
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
EDITORIAL COMMENT

Among other extinct animals is the
one that grew the cheaper cuts.-Chi-
cago Daily News
"A oe 1acto government, It appears, is
one that won't hurt you If you lend
IL money.-New York Sun.
Arbitration is like International law
something that the other fellow
vusht scrupulously to respect.-New
York World.
NINE. schwimmer says Ford has been
padly advised. An honest confession Is
good for the soul.-Philadelphia In
quirer.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
From Chicago Daily News.
TELEGRAPH PERIScOPf

stockings going up!" is the head
line In trade publication. But, even
so, better that way than coming down.
There's one thing we like about
wing Dinger. He never lays any of
his efforts to the influence of the new
school OF free poets"
The President is working twelve
hours day explaining the eight-hour
law.
The pay of the German officers
has been reduced; so has the number
Of officers.
The price of sauerkraut has gone
up but the smell is about the same.
oh. well, it might be worse-the
high cost of living isn't in it with
Europe's problem of trying to keep
down the price of dying.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
A Record Breaker

Maggie" said the inexperienced
young thing to the cook, "the biscuits
were sight. If you can't do better
next time I will have to discharge
you"
'"Ye will will ye? I'll have ye know.
mum, that I've been workin' out for
two years, an I've worked for 80 Of
the best families in town, an amt
ever bin discharged yet. I'm lavin'
this afternoon for a better place.
New York Globe.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Our Daily Laugh
CRUEL. AND IN
HUMAN.

Orderly - 7
have to report
that the enemy Ia
bombarding u o
with massed mill
tary bands, firing
music hall songs
and popular rag
time.
General Bar
barous! Order
up q corps of mu-
sicians and reply
W l t h Richard
Strauss. WeIl get
the savages with
nervous prostra-
ton.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
An Admired Achievement

John" exclaimed the nervous wo-
man. there's burglar in the houser
DO you mean to tell me that after
tried every door and window in my
effort to get into my own home. Just
because happened to mislay my
latchkey, a burglar comes along and
wakes you up at the first rattle of
the doorknob? I'm going down to see
him.
What are you going to do?"
I'm going to interview him and see
II / can find out how he did it," -
Washington Star.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
What's the Rent?

Something about the house you buy
for her never suits; either 1t is too far
from the dining room to the kitchen
or there aren't enough linen closets.
Which convinces us that there is an
Island of Somewhere somewhere.
Fancy says it IS beautifully wooded on
three sides. with a semi bungalow fac
ing the water. 1t Is perfectly archi-
tectured house, with a perfect fur
mace, with doors where they should
be and no drafts.-Buffalo Evening
News.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Is Great Bible Reader

William H. Irwin. of Pennsylvania
Bible reader. having read the Scrip
lures through thirty-four times in the
past fifteen years. an average of more
than twice each year. Mr.. Irwin is 72
years of age and has not left his home
for fifteen years.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Eyerlastinglv at It

The shortest day in all the week
is the one that finds us working with
all our physical and mental energies.
The longest day is the day that finds
our heads and hands empty.
II you would shorten the hours of
work. II you would lengthen your SAL
ary at the end of the week, keen
eternally and everlastingly on the Job.
The Silent Partner.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
To Oppressors

And I will come near to you to
judgment; and I will be a swift wit
ness against the false swearers, and
against those that oppress the hire
ling in his wages, the widow, and the
fatherless. and that turn aside the
stranger from his right, and fear not
me saith the Lord of hosts. For I
am the Lord. change, not.-Malachi
Ill, and 0.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Up to Them
TFrom the st. Louis star.l

IFTOIII I1IB otdT.I
Little James, six years old, had been
taught to pray each night for all his
relatives and friends, and consequently
the list had grown quite large. SO one
night when 1T came time for the Gus
tomary prayers he refused to say them.
well, well. James!" said his mother.
"Why don't you say them? All good
little boys say their prayers"
"Yes, but I'm too tired"
"Oh, my, that's no excuse. Come now.
that's good boy"
"Weii," relented James, "I guess TIL
have to. But, anyway, I'm not going to
lot of 'em out. Some of 'em will have
to save themselves"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
She Endorsed Il

IT want to get this check cashed. !"
said the young wife to the paying teller
at the bank.
"Yes. madam: you must endorse It,
though"
why. my husband sent IL to me.
He is away on business"
"Yes, madam. But just endorse It.
Sign 1t on the back, please. and your
husband will know we paid it to you"
She went to the desk and In couple
Of minutes came back with the check
endorsed:
Your loving wife, Edith"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Taciturn General

General Sir Douglas Haig Is a man
of SO few words that unless he speaks
for himself the time may come when
his participation in the battle of the
Somme will be denied by expositors of
York Sun
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

ular work and earn q salary while pre-
pairing himself for advancement.
There should never be q question as
to the continuance of the Wharton
School here. Rather. we should look
forward to the time when the Uni
versity of Pennsylvania shall have a
building Of its own in Harrisburg
fronting Capitol Park and extending
its night school work under a corps
of capable instructors over a large part
of the university course. for the benefit
Of those who seek learning. but whose
circumstances do not permit Of the
regular four years course.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

L repudiated in New Jersey. his
own home State.
Returns from the primary elections
held there yesterday indicate the nom-
nation Of Senator James q. MARITIME
for the United States Senate on the
Democratic ticket by very substan-
tial vote. over John w. westcott.
Westcott was Wilson's choice. Be-
hind him was lined UP the entire
Democratic machine of New Jersey,
which is controlled by the President.
MARITIME made an absolutely indepen-
dent fight H went before the people
on his record in the Senate. West
colt depended largely upon the fact
that he was the Presidents candi-
date'' and it was fully expected even
by Marines friends that the Presi-
dents influence with the New Jersey
machine and the prestige OF the White
House would pull westcott through by
a small majority. Every State and
federal employe. every postmaster and
Democratic dependent was lined up
for westcott and so confident were
the political "dopesters" that the Pres
ident could not lose in his own State
that reports early last night were IA
vorable to westcott's nomination.
But with all this against him. Mar
tine won and now it begins to appear
that instead of being a heavy handi-
cap the enmity of President Wilson
was in reality his greatest asset. Even
in New Jersey. the returns indicate.
the voters are tired of the weakened
watchful waiting, extravagant and de-
structive policies of the President, and
that this dissatisfaction Is widespread
even in Democratic ranks within the
State that Mr.. Wilson has been de-
scribed as carrying around in his vest
pocket
MARITIME made a hot fight for re-
and 'that helped, but he
won largely for the reason that New
Jersey Democrats were disgusted with
Wilson.
The vote as canvassed early to-day
is incomplete, but enough is known to
indicate that the Republicans outnum-
bered the Democrats at the polls yes
terday by wide margin. There was
a brisk skirmish within the Republi-
can party, but it was in no way COM
parable with the bitter contest waged
by the Democrats. which was calcu-
lated to bring out every vote that a
political machine struggling for its
life and a determined independent
and his friends could mus
ter. That the Republican vote under
such circumstances far outnumbered
that of the Democrats gives clear in
that at the November cleo
tions New Jersey-the home of the
Democratic candidate-will give a
majority for Mr.. Hughes.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
The South's Plant

The scaliest form of sectionalism we
have observed is that of the Northern
newspapers that are complaining be-
cause there are more pampered mill
lionaires in the North to pay income
taxes than in the South. Give us the
miIlionaires and the South will pay
the taxes.-Houston Post.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

It is undoubtedly true, as President
Wilson declared, that he. got his infor-
nation about Mexico chiefly from liars.
But after March 4. 1917. we will have in
the White House a man who will get
his information on public questions
from different sort of people.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
New Kentucky Industry

The Kentuckian who was bitten nv q
moccasin and cured himself by drink
ing a quart of corn whisky Is now do
ing thriving business pointing out the
place where the snake was last seen.-
Macon Telegraph.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Depressing

[From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.1
"I believe we will win, but IL we
don't, what of it?" says Vice-President
Marshall. Doesn't that Just show how
fatal to campaign enthusiasm 1t is to
be q Vice-President2
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
Real Food Dictator

III tho Germans want real food
dictator" they might import a high
priced American dyspepsia specialist.
Indianapolis News.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
A TRUSTING
WIFE.

NJ y husband
writes me that !
may stay at the
beach as long as
I wish.
That looks uy1E-
p l c | o u 5, you
should go right
homeIhs's ha@1l
ing too gad -
tina
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
What Poland VIII Need

tFrom the Detroit Free Press.l
A 10-year-old ruler is suggested for
Poland. After Poland gets through
with Its present troubles what 1t will
need is an efficiency expert.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
ORDER A DEATH WARRANT
By Wing Dinrer,

BY Wing DinEer.
One fellow to another said:
If Wilson fails to be
Elected President this Fall
What will he do, tell me.y
The other fellow thought while
And summoned all his wit
Then answered, Well. guess he will
Have to get Hughes to it,
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
One Thing Hasn't Gone Up

The shocking thing about the arrival
Of pumpkins on the local market is the
report that they will be sold at about
the same old prices.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
THE ROTARY CLUB
LEARNED OF THE CITY

the Harrisburg Rotary Club and thei
answers as presented at the organisa
tion's annual Municipal ouiz-"l
What procedure is necessary for tn,
laying OF water pipe7
An ordinance is passed by Coun-
ell, after which bids are advertise
ed for and contracts awarded for
abuttinR on any street or highway
in which water pipes are laid pay
according to foot front rule The
property % ps owner = and sI ali water 10 biiis iihis
as they become due are charged to
this account until said credit Is ex-
hausted. This system virtually
gives the property owner the water
pipe tree OF charge
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
WEDNESDAY EVENING, SEPT. 81.

4 can't desptse the mud and mtre,
Tho neither fills toith desire,
Because br,oso that OUT Of these
By life eternal mysteries
Hdue sprung in some Gntdthomed tody
The splendors that zoe see today,
And up from pain hath come to be
a scorld of IoUe and chtudIry.
@John Kendrtcb Bdn1s,
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

express their real opinion of Progress
sives-as Vardaman has done.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

-. M.I.6TACKPOLE.P =. Prss't and Edifor-as-C Chisf
y y. OYSTER, Business Manager.
SuS NJ. STEINMETZ, Managing Editor.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

Funiished evenings except Sunday by
THE TELEGRAPH PRINTING co..
1esegraph building, Federal Square.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27
WILSON LOSES JERSEY

DRESIDENT WILSON has been
4 repudiated in New Jersey. his
own home State.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-27

The price of sauerkraut has gone
up but the smell is about the same.