New Britain herald., 1916-03-15
REVELATI0NS0F A WIFE
 By
By ADELE GARRISON

ashamed of them. The'd like to meet you l know. but l won't let them, 1 positively forbid it. Think I'd in
 1roduce lady of my heart to rummies
 like that? No sir-ee, not Harry Un- dcrWOOd.
 They Can't Help It. ou know l haven't explained yet why I'm here this morning." he went on. He appeared to be fascinat- ed by his own converse ton. I was grateful for anything that stopped his personal allusions.
 ou see, it's this Nay,' he said with a confidential air that would have appealed to my sense of the ludicrous if I had been less annoyed. These two fellows, good enough chaps" patronizingly, Tive in Osh- hosh That's not their fault" he h&stened to add with a generous air.
 They cant help it.. They have to live there. Well, they came to New York for business trip, and I tried 10 make up to them last night for having to live anywhere else than in New York.
 We went up one side of Broadway from forty street for three or four blocks and came down the other, and took a drink in every place we could buy one
 Tt was some record, I tell you" he went on proudly. but what a bundle we did acquire. I didn't dare go home to my calm freside. You know Lii. so I stayed the night with the boys at their hotel
 "When We got up a little while ago we decided we'd have to do a penance Of some sort The worst thing could think of was to go to Brooklyn or Staten island. We tossed a coin to see which we'd do, heads Staten Island tails Brooklyn. It came down leads, and here we are waiting for the ferryboat
 ''TIle Ferry Will Do."
 ITO my horror he executed few dance steps, chanting the while. Waiting for. the Robert E. Lee" He Lad sense enough left to keep his voice low, and I was much relieved to see that no one appeared to notice his actions
 Say, I'll tell you what we'll do," lie sald. You and Dicky's mother come along with us to Staten Island. old girl doesn't like me over and apoVe. known, he added sotto voice but that won't hurt. I have man aged worse cranks in my time than she IS. I'll make those other fellows Eeep thelr distance, and we'll have q rice little trip"
 If | had not been so genuinely angry and annoyed I could have aughed at the mental picture I had ot Harry Underwood escorting my nOtn jn- Ia 4,.i,, o Staten Island. But it was no time Or laughter. Instead, I was at my wits end to know what to do. The dea of the proposed ferry trip evi- ently appealed to his befuddled inn | gination. He turned toward my nother-in law
 Coin to take you and little lady lere on nice ferry trip" he an- lounced genially. "Sorry,yacht's out If commission this morning, but ferry will do very we'll"
 I have not much reason to like my nother-in-law, but I shall always be 5ratful to her for the way she cut he Gordian knot of my difficulties
 Young man, you are impertinent md intoxicated" she said haughtily Please step aside.'
 And taking me firmly by the arm my mother-in-law walked eadily with me toward the door of the wo- mems rest room. Her manner of me was much the same IS that the matron of a refornatory would use in taking a, charge from one place to another, but I was too lelleVed to care. Tn leering face of Harry Underwood was no longer be- fore my eyes, and his befuddled words TO longer pared upon my ears. Those were the only things that mat tered to me for the moment. Tn my relief | felt strong enough to brave the weight of my mother-in-l laws anger, which l was very sure was P hDIIt tn descend