Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1916-08-08

The irascibIe bachelor flung his suit
cases down in his section of the Pull
man car, sank heavily into his seat
and then gazed with suspicion and
| alarm that melted into horrible GER
| tainty at the couple in the seat ahead
of him His. keen eye detected a tiny
flakes Of rice nesting in a ribbon bow
| on the young ,womans hat.
'Oh, Lord" he calculated and bolted
for the smoker. There was only one
other occupant, a quiet man who
nevertheless fdgeted with the large
black cigar he was turning rapidly in
to smoke.
''Whew" gasped the irasctbIe bach
elor getting out his cigar case. TITS
a relief to find a real human being
once more! For two solid weeks I've
| been the prey of brides and sgrooms!"
''Why-how's that?" asked the quiet
man, rather startled
They've haunted mol" declared the
! irascible bachelor grimIy. I'm every
direction there have been brides and
grooms. with their silly air of being
the only persons on earth-or if they
do notice one al all they make it
worse by openly plying one! Con-
ceiteG, idotic-why. I've got so I can
tell one of 'eTn mile off"
How do you do it?" asked the
ether man with interest.
ooh, said the irasctble bachelor, "a
man newly married is just as plainly
labeled as though he had smallpox
He always looks foolish and belliger-
ent. And the girl always looks super
Tor and as though she were trying
to give an imitation of an angel gaz-
ing down from pink cloud! But the
way they look wouldn't be so hard
to stand-it's the darn fool way they
act!"
DIDO they?" inquired the quiet
man in surprise.
Look at emf rejoined the dis
tuUbed bachelor. when you go back
in the car just glance around-all
in the seat ahead of me was murnur-
ing, Didums bringun1s chocolate drops
to sweetheart-or speech to that eff
feet!
There are some more across the
aisle and farther down, and I'll bet nv
last dollar they're all cooling the same
stuff. Why should the marriage cere-
mony pipe out all previous knowledge
of the English language from the
minds Of grown up people? Why can't
they say. Hey I suppose you forgot
| to get the chocolates I wanted, as
usual just as they'll DE saying it five
years from now! The one across the
aisle was having his forehead bathed
in cologne by his anxious bride and
the one in the check suit on the right
mana Size was begging MS with tears
in his voice TO confess that there was
draft on the back Of her delicate
neck from the ventiIatOr thirty Feet
away down the car! Wow! The only
sane person in the whole place is that
woman sitting alone in the end seat
in the blue suit. Looks kind O. sour
betCha she'll give EN- a rap before
| they get through"
why"
IF they wouldn't insist on calling
each other dear in that tender way!"
almost Wept the irascIble bachelor.
They all do it! After people have
been married some time, you know,
they'd rather be shot than call each
other pet names in public When a
married woman, addresses her husband
as dear before ar audience that
audience knows he's going to get heck
! for his sins when she gets him home
alone!
That's what gives away the brides
and grooms! Dear breathed a voice
| from Eden at the hotel breakfast table
! back of me, do you take one lump
or three in your coffee?' None, darl-
| ing, when you are here responds
| bridegroom promptly. Whereupon I
groan piteOusly and limp out, leaving
my wafTies untasted. I've lost interest
in strip.
Dear wants a. voice IN the ele-
| vatOr I've left my gloves somewhere
will you go look for them? Yes, angel,
| You wait right here till come back!
as though any one would be apt to