davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20
HARDLY "UNITED"

nTR. HUGHES is reported
/ Jul as saying, with regarc
to the attitude of the
progressives, that he secs a
united party at last" Then
there are some very important
things that he does not see.
He does not see. for instance
that the New York progress
sives, headed by Bainbridge
Colby, who nominated Colonel
Roosevelt at Chicago, and
County Chairman O'Connell,
one of the ablest Of all the New
York progressives, are in open
revolt against being deliver
ed"
He does not see that Matthew
Hale, chairman of the national
progressive committee, and the
strongest of all the Massachus-
etts Moose, declares that he
and his following are not to be
handed over to Hughes by a
bargain. He does not see that
former District Attorney He
ney of San Francisco, the most
powerful progressive champi-
on in California, declares for
Wilson. He does not see that
John NJ. Parker, the progress
sive party nominee for vice
president, and the most promi-
nent progressive in the south,
stOutly protests against the
"throttling of the party" He
does not see that in a dozen
states the progressive organi-
cations are declining to "stay
put" as the colonel intended
them to.
And finally he could not
have seen that announcement
that a conference of represen-
tative pr0gressives from all
parts Of the country soon will
be held in Chicago to consider
"the widespread and bitter re-
volt within the party against !
the action of the national com
mittee in indorsing Charles +.
Hughes, the republican nomi-
nee for the presidency"
The reunited party" is a
pleasant dream for G.. o. p
leaders and candidates. Butt
the waking facts are different.
Post.
~~~~~0s~~~~
Presidential candidates and
their big supporters do not de-
vote any time to states where !
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20
NOONNNNNNNNNNNN =
THE oPTLMIST.


D There was once a man who
D smiled.
B Because the day was bright,
Because he slept at night,
B Because God gave him sight
, To gaze up on his child;
, Because his little one
, Could leap and laugh and run
Because the distant sun
Smiled on the earth. he smiled
y He tOiled and still was glad
Because the air was free,
Because he loved, and she
That claimed his love and he
Shared all the joys they had.
Because the grasses grew,
Because the sweet winds blew, 4
Because that he could hew
And hammer, he was glad.
Because he lived ne smiled,
And did not look ahead
With bitterness or dread.
} But nightly sought his bed 4
} AS calmly as a child
And people called him mad" 4
} For being always glad
} With such things as he had. 4
And shook their heads and
smiled.
By 5. E. Kiser.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20
THE NAVAL OIL PRESERVE

n HE United States has
W some California oil lands
reserved for naval needs
and recently an attempt was
made to break down this re-
serve. 1t would not be far
fetched to suppose that the de-
sire for such action originates
with private oil companies, or
company, as the case may be,
However, the senate steer
ing committee" has decided
that the move shall not be al
lowed to succeed, at the pres
ent session of congress at least.
1t is said that so many of our
naval vessels are being equip
ped for the use of oil that it
would cripple the navy to
make the supply dependent
upon private producers.
So much for the govern
mental side of the case. But
what of the private consumer?
If the exactions of the oil COM
bine are too much for Uncle
Sam is it not self evident that
the ordinary consumer is en-
titled to some relief.
The governments oil reser-
walton and the benefits result
ing therefrom constitute an eff
fective argument for govern
ment management of the entire
oil supply.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20
1rham Being Shipped in Carload Lots t
Border for Use of United States Troop

of "BuIl" Durham are supplied to the American
troops in Mexico and along the border.
"BuIr' Durham was selected by the Govern
ment for the use Of the army years ago, because
it stood every test to which the most rigid in
specdon could subject it.
The absolute purity of Bull" Durham is known
to every commissary chief, every quartemaster,
every officer and every soldier. They know that
it's pure tobacco-pure golden Virgiinia-C Carolina
leaf mild, sweet, sadsfying-the most refreshing
smoke in any climate and under any conditions.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20

Mrs. Lula Harpster Of Los Angeles
arrived last night to 0e the house
guest Of her sister. Mrs. W. ~ Mat
lock. Mrs Harpster will sojourn in
Pendleton until completely recovered
from the effects Of a recent oper-
alton
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20
sa1RIIl'lEITlaRa9
67.Q8kl|t'RIlg2NAE

Mrs J. j Lewis went to Walla wal
la last evening TO visit with friends
Allen Mathews. well known Free
water merchant. was n the city yes-
terday.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20

Presidential candidates and
their big supporters do not de-
vote any time to states where
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-07-20

From seasoned campaigner to newest rookie"
practically every American soldier rolls his owl"
with Bull" Dur ham.
This famous tobacco is part of the u. S.
troopers regular "ratons." 1t goes with him
into far corners Of the world It's the smoke Of
the Service in barracks, camp and field.
Wherever the flag flies, from Maine to the
Philippines, from Alaska to Mexico, you'll find
Uncle Sans fighting men rolling their own with
Bull" Durham.
Every month hundreds Of thousands Of sacks
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
wHoa ,MsRgFysgFl

"''S' '!pNNYNSt1ttf1tt3
Who Is ubiquitous?
Who is indispensable to your comfortf
Who Is 1t from whom you crave
sympathy?
who listens to you with the great
est solicitude and most critical appre-
citation?
Who exerts the most terrifying In.
science?
Who possesses unruffled compos-
ure?
Who never fails to meet you with
an appraising glance?
Who inflicts the most painful neg
lect?
Who doles you with the greatest
accuracy?
who in manner and bearing puts
to shame your awkwardness?
Who has you the most completely
in his power?
Who bends to you with the most
gracious smile?
Who is the most willing to aid In
seeing you fleeced?
Who is ever Immediately costum-
ed regardless of the hour?
Who realizes or dashes your hopes?
Who has the most ingratiatingly
pleasing or superciliously displeasing
manner?
Who possesses the most puzzling OF
personalities?
Who most nearly anticipates your
wishes?
Who dominates your judgment and
leads you astray?
Who pulls the strings behind the
scenes?
Who inflicts on you the most cut
ting silence?
Who makes you feel your poverty?
Who shames you into lavish dis
play?
Who scorns your use of foreign
language?
Who can be both ardent and i'm
passive?
Who can be obsequious and not re-
pei?
Who disdains familiarity?
Who is intolerant of provincial good
humored complacency?
Who does not find "rube" anus
ing?
Who is infalliable in his estimate
Of human nature?
Who can turn interest quickest into
scorn?
Who despises a snob?
Who rejoices in bon-vivant?
Who frowns upon temperance?
Who is it you part with after intl
mate converse with the least emotion?
Who always on parting demands Of
you souvenir?
Who dismisses you with silent
blessing or smothered curse?
THE WAITER!
From Judge.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
THE LEVELER

This is a courtroom. You must not
laugh here, and you will be doing pret-
ty well if you can look pleasant. All
sertS and co-dit.oBj of mel a . ~ be
soep. ySary Wa TX ST u y. rs5re'er,-
ei-eve, y 1ass o. society fun mon
Ell ,ere are the scGolar, the illiterate.
the dirty. the clean, the proud, the
humble, the prominent. and the OBJ
scure Look sharp. and you will be
able to behave as naturally in the cir
clmstances as those around you who
know the place better. You are only
part of that whole number that Is
representative of success and failure
in this world.
Regard the servant and the mis-
tress, the maGnate ard clerk, the
chauffeur and his employer, the po.
liceman and HIS "hapl" the petty thief.
the quaIreling ncighbors, the debtors
end creditors, retained lawyers, friend
of the unfortunate. spectators OF the
whole machinery Of the law in its
active operation.
Match fhe faces, their expressions
ore strdies. Tr,y illuGtratc self con
troll tho lack OF it, weakness or
strength OF character, Indifference,
contempt. hopelessIess. indignaticu,
dread, defiance. But we have only TO
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
SLOW DOWN

The world has lost its silence
That's the trouble with it. BY al
lence, we mean, OF course, sense O,
leisure. That surely is gone. IN.
lamps are no longer lit on quiet. IL
cry minute is packed with noise or rv
ton. The phonograph. the movie,
the automobile mean always some
thing to hear, something TO see
somewhere to so. That Is the con
stituency the modern artist addresses
1t has developed in him new tech
nique, a spur of the moment style
Were a Dickens here today who
would listen to him? Certainly peo
They no longer read Dickens. Thack
cray grows tircsome with the years
Trollope, whose fiction surely was en-
gaging, is a dead letter. If pub
Usher announced an edition of Haw
thorne today his competitors would
grin. We who have more time than
ever, really have less time than ev-
er. The song in that forgotten opera
of few years ago, II Want What
Want When | Want It." hit us off TO
T. We are votaries of the NOW
The present instant is our shrine
Speed Up is the watchword. Culture,
unfortunately has become a cheap
ened word, but far more unfortunate
is it that the fact of culture itself is
threatened. For culture in its real
sense, we take it, means thorough
ness. "God is never in hurry" said
one of the Pilgrim fathers. 1t is the
worlds foolish, barharous haste that
is making it ungodly. Slow down.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
THEY ALL DEMAND IT
Every City and Town in the Unio
Receives 1t.

People with kidney ills want to h
mred. When one suffers the torture
of an aching back, relief is eagerl
sought for. There are many remf
dies today that relieve, but not pc,
manently. Doan's Kidney Pills hav
brought lasting results to thousand
Here is proof of merit.
Edward Roberts. farmer, Fifth 3,
Perrysburg, Ohio, says: 81 had ;
dull. throbbing ache through m
limbs The kidney secretions wer
profuse and l was obliged to get II
three or four times at night to pas
them. Nothing benefited me until
used DOan's Kidney Pills. The
cured me of the trouble In two q
-hree weeks and there has been d,
return back.
Price soc. at all dealers. Don
simply ask for kidney remedy--ge
Doan's Kidney Pills-the same tina
Mr.. Roberts had. Foster -MilbarD Co.
Props, BuffalO, N. \.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
A Po- TABLE scHooLHousE.

1t is authoritatively announced
that Boston has recently acquired six
teen new portable schoolhouses, bit
of news which the schoolboy, today
as in Shaliespeares time
with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping
like snail
Unwilling TO school
will hear with dismay because of the
possibilities of woe involved in their
use.
Who knows but that the day may
come when, thanks to modern pro.
gressive ideals, boys will no longer 20
to school. but, alas, school will 90 10
them? or what avail then will be the
measles, the mumps, or the everwel-
come whooping- What boots
Il slomachaChe al eight a m. if Faith.
er can go to the phone and have d
portable school wheeled around to the
back door, and the multiplication-ta
be spread as per usual? What use
to play that glorious game OF hockey
If the ilceting truant can actually be
pursued by handsome sixty horse
power, siX-cylinder schoolhouse, set
instantly upon his trail?
Indeed are we glad that our school
lays are over, and were not deferred
TO these overprogressing times when
even rights of childhood are not safe
from the ravager Whether the new
schoolhouses are electric or gasoline,
We are not informed, but in any event
we like them not, and behalf of the
downtrodden youth of the land whose
privileges in the line of avoiding edu.
cation are thereby threatened, we em-
phatically enter our protest againSt
the innovation.--From Judge.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
NATIONAL BABY WEEK WILL
BE OBSERVED ALL OVER
THE UNITED STATES

Washington, d. c. (SpeciaD-Plans
for the nationwide Baby Week pro-
posed by the General Federation of
Women's Clubs for March to IL
have extended beyond the United
States. A woman's club in the Brit
fish West Indies has just written to
the Federal Children's Bureau for in
formation a, out what Baby Week
means and expects to initiate a local
campaign. Several Canadians have
been herd from too, including the
Saskatchewan commissioner of pub
health.
The Philippines will take part in
the celebration II the plan of Ma
uila woman's club is carried out. BY
special request the Childrens Bureau
has sent its Baby Week bulletin to
Valdez and Nome in Alaska and to
two of the Indian reservations in
Western States.
The local plans for Baby Week
vary in the 2O29 communities from
which the Children's bureau has had
Inquiries. For Instance, Wisconsin
nas initiated statewide campaign
III which especial emphasis is placed
on adequate nursing care and instruc-
ton for prospective mothers. In Ne
hraska, child welfare exhibit is be-
ing prepared by the women's clubs
of Omaha and Lincoln which will
travel about among the clubs through
out the State after the Baby Week
IN those TWO cities is over. One town
In Maryland which is going to have
birth registration day announces
that an enterprising merchant has
promised to give tooth brush to
-very mother who goes to the City
Hall to find out whether her baby's
hirih is Registered! Another cow
munity is having competition Off
the cleverest window plan for Baby
Week publicity.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

remember this is tie twentieth cen
trry. the era of organized philan-
thropy, free social foundations, free
lectures. free music, parks, night
schools liberty.
Here we muse on the fruits of edu-
cation. Christianity of the churches,
support of the weak by the strong, the
gentle humanitics fostered by power,
by the family, by friendship, by pity.
by wisdom.
All. the machinery. 1t runs cease
leesly. The machinery of the law
prinds always. Its grist is all kinds
Of injustice. Heaven grant its pro-
duct be justice From Judge.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Girls worship novel heroes, but in
real life they prefer men who can pro
vide them with three square meals a
day.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

1t is fun to watch the actions OF a
widow and a widower who are anx.
ious to remarry when they get to
gether and try to fool each other.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
TRUTH SPOKEN IN JEST.

Navigation was safer in Noah's
then the only submarines.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
When = woman is sorry sne marrieo
! man she is sure to regret that she
had such hard time getting him.

Many a man has considered himself
q shining light Just because he was
burning the'candle at both ends.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

The reason why some people can't
nnd thing when they want 1t is be.
cause they didn't think they would
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
woRkiNeMAN's TALK ON WORK

WORkiNGMAN'S TALK ON WORK
l was cashier OF small bank and
gave it up to work in a machine shop
isfactory conditions. From quite a
little banking experience | knew that
there are perhaps hundreds of under
clerks in banking institutions who are
working for few dollars a week
less than S10-and even cashiers
whose salaries are no more than SIS
per month.
Nature has framed men different.
ly. Some are fitted for science, some
for literature, some for finance and
some for complaining. The complain
ers attribute their poverty to their
honesty, or lack ca opportunity, and
to the successful man they give curses
for success, in their opinion, means
crcokedness. But the plain truth is
if these gentlemen would spend less
tine in condemninT the successful
man and a little less self laudation
they would vastly improve their con
dition.
There are lots of men employed by
the great industrial concerns who are
poverty stricken, and as a rule it is
their own fault-the government has
nothing to do with it and should keep
its hands off. Such people should be
told to shut up and saw wood-W. w
Phillips in Leslie's.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02


DO not complain because people
do not do more for you. Be thank
full that they do not do more to you.
There are no profane words in the
kickapoo language, but among the
aborigines why should there be when
every Indian had a serviceable tom
ahawk?
Isn't 1t queer that a man never
shows his temper until he loses It?
Many large idea originates In
small head.
PEPlGRAMs
So many women meet their fate In
fat
Shun the cup if you want to cop.
Life is choice between saving
and shaving.
A bore is a man without terminal
facilities.
You can only lead by keeping
ahead.
Many smooth proposition is q
rough neck.
Time is always faithful servant
to faithful master.
Your approach determines wheth-
er wou're a pinhead or sharp ~ q
tack.
Every man rssiisss tAa4 - Sssd
70 b shumD.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

The shows Theodore Roosevelt West
Caribbean
wife The undertaken for the the health Mrs
Roosevelt according the Mr.
strengthen
is wife
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

When man is willing to go with
out his dinner to do you favor,
place his name at the top of your list
of friends.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Tho less a mon tall.s, the more 9th
nrs may appreciate lim.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

the ideal wife is one who does not
expect her husband to arise from a
comfortable couch for the purpose oi
placing burned match in the recep
tacle prepared for it.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
FACTS YOU MAY NOT KNOW.

The weighing machine used in the
laboratory of the Bureau of Stand
ards in Washington is said TO be the
most accurate in the world. 1t will
weigh the wing of fly.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

A gentleman always agrees witt
you, but a crank never does.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

The first steamship crossed the At
'"ntic in 1888.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Buncombe County, North Carolina,
famous for adding word to our
language because of the oratorical
propensities of former Congress.
man, is spending more than half a
million for roads.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02
TRUTH SPOKEN IN JEST.

A selfish friend is like the letter P,
because he is the first in pity and the
last in help,
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Except for the headache a man has
the morning after he probably would
MT remember the good time he had
the night before.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

The noblest pursuit of woman is an
honest man. Y
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

THE bet you infcr'ded to make but
didn't is always The ore safe bet.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Debt is about the only thing that
increases the more it is contracted.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Straining a point rarely makes II
clearer. Blunt people are apt to say
sharp things.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Tho green grocer is in position 10
acquire a lot OF ripe experience.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Men who beg are usually those who
formerly squandered.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

'~'~" men may acquire large tomb
stones.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

A fence 1000 miles long, the long.
est in the world, has been ordered b.
the Canadian Pacific railroad. 1t will
run on both sides of the railroad
from Halifax to Vancouver.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Your approach determines wheth
er wou're a pinhead or sharp ~ Z
tack.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

run on both sides of the railroad
from Halifax to Vancouver.
American railroads employ 1916,
2S9 persons, who have an average
yearly wage of more than $1,000.
Thruout the world one-fourth of all
children die before six years of age,
one-half before they are sixteen and
one person in 100 lives TO see 65.
Shaving was introduced among the
Romans about 800 B. c. The first
shave was deemed the entrance to
manhood and celebrated with great
festivities.
Military training is compulsory on
all male citizens between the ages OF
IL and 45 in New Zealand.
Australia has a total population Of
less than 100000 persons.
An average man breathes about
twenty-one cubic feet of air into his
lungs every hour.
Bananas are immune from insect
attacks and most fruit diseases.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Every man rsaiisss tAal - ssSd
To b chung.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Bananas are immune from insect
attacks and most fruit diseases.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

DO not complain because peopl,
do not do more for you. Be thank
full that they do not do more to you
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

stones.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Australia has total population of
less than 100000 persons.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-03-02

Time is always faithful servant
to faithful master.
Imperial Valley press., 1916-05-17
Mainly Personal

Fred Meyers, r. F. D.carrier No. 2,
left yesterday noon on short busi-
ness trip to San Diego.
NJ. NJ. Saleeby of the Philippine De-
part of Agriculture, who is supposed
to be on a vacation from his labors,
is devoting his time to a study OF
conditions in this country, and today
is in the hands of Messrs. Palmer and
McLachlan of the Long Staple Cot
ton Growers association. Mr.. Saieeby
says the islands are not producers
of cotton to any degree, but 1t has
been thought possible they might find
some type of cotton that would thrive
in that country, where there is great
moisture instead of the dry atmos-
phere where cotton usually thrives.