Gunnison news-champion., 1916-07-14

when y0u can stsal Q sheat better than
anybody else can. 8hoats b kind of
Inspiration and genius with me. epe-
ciaily this one. wouldn't take two
hundred and nfty for that animal
Now hsten.' says !. wiping on my
forehead It's not % much . matter
81 business with ne n Il II Art. and
not % much art ~ u b philanthropy.
Being c0nn0isseur and dIsseminator
OF pigs. wouldn't feel like I'd done
my duty to the world unless I added
that Berkshire to my collection Not
lnfrinsically. but according to the eth
lcs Of pigs ~ friends and coadjutors Of
mankind. l ofEer you $500 for the anil
NAL
"Jen.' says this pork esthete. It
amt money: IT'S sentiment with me-
Seven hundred says /.
Make It eight hundred says Rufe.
and III crush the sentiment out Of
my heart
Il went under my clothes for my
money belt and counted him out forty
twenty-dollar gold certificates.
I'm just take him into my own
ROOM says I. and lock him up till aft
er breakfast
Il took the pig BY the hind leg. He
turned on a sQueal like the steam cal
Hope at the circus.
LET me tote him in for you.' says
Rufe, and he picks up the beast under
one arm. holding his snout with the
other hand. and packs him into my
room like sleeping baby.
After breakfast Rufe, who had q
chronic case Of haberdashery ever
since got his trousseau. says he be-
lieves he will amble down to Misfitz-
ky's and look over some royal purple
socks. And then got as busy MS a
one armed man with the nettle rash
pasting on wallpaper. found an old
negro man with an express wagon to
hire, and we tied the pig in sack and
drove down to the circus grounds.
Il found George B. Tapley in little
tent with window flap open. He was
fattish man. with nm immediate eye.
In black skullcap. with four ounce
diamond screwed into the bosom Of his
red sweater.
-'Are you George B. TapleyT asks.
81 swear It," says he.
"'Well, I've got It, says I.
Designate says he. Are you the
guinea pigs for the Asintic python or
the alfalfa for the sacred buffaloy
Neither says I. I've got Beppo.
the educated hog. In a sack in that
wagon. I found him roofing up the
flowers in my front yard this morning.
I'll take the $1,000 in large bills II It's
handy
George b. hustlcs out Of his tent
and asks me to follow. We got into
one Of the side shows. In there was
a Jet black pig. with a pink ribbon
around his neck. lying on some hay
and eating carrots that q man was
feeding to him.
"'Hey. Mac calls G. B. Nothing
wrong with the worldwide this morn.
ing. is therer
"Him2 No. says the man. 'He'l
got an appetite IKE chorus girl at
~ n.
How'd did you get this pipe T say,
Tapley to me. Eating too many porl
chops last nightr
Il pulls out the paper and shows him
the ad.
Fake says he. Don't know any.
thing about II. You've beheld with
your own eyes the marvellous, world.
wide porcine wonder Of our four foot.
ed kingdom eating with preternatural
sagacity his matutinal meal. unstrayed
and unstole. Good morning.
II was beginning to see. got in the
wagon and told Uncle Ned to drive to
the most adjacent orifice Of the nearest
alley. There / took out my pig. goi
the range carefully for the other open
ing. set his sights and give him such q
kick that he went out the other end oi
the alley twenty feet ahead Of his
squeal.
Then I paid Uncle Ned his 60 cents
and walked down to the newspaper Of
fee. l wanted to hear 1t In cold syl
labIes. got the advertising man tc
his window.
".To decide bet,' says I, wasn't
the man who had this nd. put In last
night short aud fat, with long whislk
ers and club footY
"'He was not says the man. he
would measure about six feet by fouI
and half inches. with cornsilk hail
and dressed like the pansies Of the con
servatory.'
"At dinner time I went back to Mrs
Peevy's.
"'shall I keep some soup hot fol
Mr.. Tatum till he comes backT she
asks.
"If you do. ma'am.' says I, you'll
moro. than exhaust for firewood al
the coal in the bosom Of the earth and
all the forests on the outside Of It,
80 there. you see." said Jefferson
Peters in conclusion. 'how hard 1t d
ever to ind a fair minded and honest
business partner"
But" I began. with the freedom Of
long acquaintance, ''the rule should
work both ways. II you had offered
4 ~