The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-06-17
One Girl
E. n j oyS
Pc I i tic S
Or, at Least, She Had a Per-
fectly Splendid Time at
the Chicago Convention,
Showing Her Enthusiasm
by Dining Three Times in
the Same Evening at the
Same Hotel.

-H HE White Rabbit has been inter
viewing one OF his girl friends
who has Just returned from con
Mentioning. Conventions are thu
style Just now. SO these few words Of
instruction and. advice may prove
handy. .a'
How to Attend a Convention.
BY the WHITE RABBIT,
Yesterday one of my fayorito girl
friends came back from Chicago.
che was deeply depressed when she
left. crushed by the responsibility
Of long journey and Of eating at
the expense OF the Republicans.
She returned jovial, fat. con-
tented-and crazy over Chicago and
the Grand Old Party.
She was Quartered in one Of the
biggest hotels. She said that there
was a thermos bottle always hlled
by her bedside. and among other
comforts may be mentioned a mir
rored bathroom and rose hansinss.
For the first time In hcr existence
she sent out to the exclusive shops
for clothing. She inspected
blouse. marked Sl2. that she knew
she could get on Seventh street for
$3.50. Then. just to show what she
was. she sent 1t back. saying that
the quality was poor!
And eats! She has been busy ex-
hibiting menu cards and outlining
for the benefit of all he- friends the
meals she has had.
One evening she had three engage
ments for supper. Just fancy-three.
About s o'clock a man called up and
asked her to 60, and she went.
She got back by 10 and was Just
climbing into her kimono when
another man called her I'D, and ask
ed her to go to the same place for
heart to refuse, so she picked out
another dress and went along.
At IL o'clock she was taking her
usual deep breathing exercises when
the phone rang. and a third man
same hotel. Now she can accommo-
date a great deal of food-I have
seen her in action. But would you
believe that she went to that place
O third time?
She said she felt like an advertise
ment for the place. The only trouble
was that the mushrooms were not
all that was to be desired. and she
couldn't go to Milwaukee the next
day in consequence.
She says she would be fatter than
she is. after all those extra meals,
only she used to walk every day
from the eighth floor OF the hotel
down to the first and then to the
Coliseum.
You see, four of the delegates were
riding In an elevator In her hotel
once. and 1t dropped six stories.
After that, of course she couldn't
take any chances with her life.
And you know that girl is lucky.
Why, she even found that her
trunk was sent out West by mis-
take, and the railroad company IL
paying her 50 day while 1t Is away
II It wasn't for the fact that 81
is Republican, she would nave
gone on to ST. Louis. But, then.
she Is willing to bet on the gener-
osity Of Republicans any time.
Turnbull got inspired by the parad
too. we see.
Here is what he calls
An Actual Occurrence.
She was a winsome little lass
And primped for hours before the glaI
With careful preparation.
Then. CARRIED in white from head
toes.
She dabbed some powder on her nos
And smiled In great citation.
She sailed forth so fresh and neat
When crowds were lined along Il
street
To view the Big Parade;
But near her stood a nasty man
Who, quite unnoticed in the Jam,
Spat freely on the maid!
The amber juice ran down her dress.
Oh, horrors! What an awful mess
Was pretty little Mandy!
While quite unconscious OF the now
She gayly chatted with her beau
And chewed molasses candy.