Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-21
IF THIS IS UNUSUAL
IT'S 0. K, IF NOT A
REPORTER is FIRED

The boss insisted on having an
unusual" story.
II want to see something new
something different in the sheet Get
it,
The reporter scratched his head,
lamented the fact that he was in the
business, and said assuredly:
"AlI right. I'll get it," The boss,
you know, operates the pay roll. But
the boss only grunted. Probably he
doubted the sincerity of the reporter.
But, at any rate, the new hound dash
ed out of the office with unusual
running through his brain.
1--WE got until Monday TO land it.
Maybe I'll bump into a woman get
ting off of the street car in the right
way. Or then / might get one of those
cunning interest stories about ca
nine snatching the poisoned candy
away from the little girl eating it and
dying a martyr while the villain is
| foiled."
The reporter was in the midst of
| these musings when he ran head-on
| into a crowd at Market square. He
was amaZed-Or, rather, dazed first
and then amazed. There was a man
on top of wagon which was loaded
| was waving his arms and shouting
| The crowd was buzzing with talk.
What in the world is this?" the
news hound expostulated.
! "An express firm is holding an auc-
| ton sale of goods not called for"
| came the ready answer at his side.
All" the reporter said to himself.
Here, mayhap, is something unusual"
Still, when he thought over the past
! he remembered that there had been
! scads of auction sales by scads of ex-
press companies and gloom cast its
| shadow over his mind again.
| But, hesitate-it was interesting
| The "colonel"-for all auctioneers
| spring in one hand. His line was
| good.
Here we have a bedspring almost
new. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I
am going to let you start her out at
your own figger. Hurry upi Speak
up. A nickel! A dime! Something,
quick"
Nothing doing. Not a soul would
open his mouth.
"All right" shouted the colonel,
with a wave of his arm. 81 know
what you want. You're after a real
bargain. So here goes"
|
was worth SO. And Immediately bus
mess picked up. The suitcase went
with the bedspring. Bids came right
and left and the suitcase and bed
| spring went to an Iowan for So %.
But the Iowan hauled the bedspring
over to the side of the building, drop
ped it, and off he walked with the
suit case.
Then a chair was brought forth
But there were no bids. The throng
seemed paralyzed. Not a word was
uttered. Then a suitcase was brought
out and sold jointly with the chair
Business was stimulated. The suit
| case and chair went for $275 to an
Iowan, who put the chair down on
/ the pavement and walked off with the
| suitcase.
An iron bed was next The throng
again was paralyzed. Not response
came to the appeals of the colonel"
as he shouted the wonderful qualities
Of that iron bed. But when he brought
| forth suitcase and offered the bed
| Jointly with it business started boom
| ing again. And the Iowan took the
! bargain at $3.50, abandoned the iron
| bed and walked off with the suitcase
! Then the reporter darted back to
the editorial sanctum and breathless-
| ly shouted:
I've got it. It's as unusual as they
| make EN-"
Huh grunted the boss. What
is it?''
! Auction sale at Market square
| Iowans turned down household furni-
| ture and buy suitcases. Amt it
| create" the reporter cried enthusiast
| tically. But the enthusiasm died be-
! fore the sneers of the boss.
HUH Iowans have been buying
| suitcases over there since Jan. / Moth
| ing unusual about that. Go out and
| get something else"
The reporter sat down at his type
writer, however, and banged out this
| story. Here's hoping the reader thinks
that it is unusual. For the boss GER
| tainly will think it is unusual for the
reporter to ignore his commands-and
maybe there will be a blue envelope
awaiting the reporter next Saturday.
Living Up to His Name.
Il am going to touch Guy for ten