davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1916-02-28

Grange this evening on the "Condi-
tlon Of the Rural Schools OF New,Cas-
tie County"
J. G. Justis & Co. have completed
Aew coal bins.
Miss Hazel Lyman, who has been
employed in Chestertown. Nd, has
returned to Wilmington and taken up
new work with Miss Sarah Pyle, at
the Peoples Settlement.
Evening journal., 1916-02-28

cooperating splendidly. The cam
paien will open with the "Instruc-
ton Dinner" at the Odd Fellows Hail.
next Wednesday evening. The taking
Of subscriptions will be started on
Thursday morning. and continued ac-
lively throughout the three days. The
entire amount of money is expected to
be in the hands Of the workers when
the campaign closes next SatuId day
night.
Evening journal., 1916-02-28

Woodrow Wilson full recognition OF
his worth as man. AS a President.
he fails largely on account OF his aca-
demic training.
Salem (Ore) Statesman - Those
who maintain that the United States
should yield all its rights at sea with
out a struggle. if struggle appears to
involve the slightest possibility Of an
ultimate appeal to arms. are preach
ing a despicable doctrine.
Rochester (N. W Times-The Sec
ond term question with President Will
son is whether he can get it.
Little Falls, Nlinn) Transcript
Secretary Lansing seems to be living
on the same salary that Bryan
couldn't
Grand Rapids (Mich) Herald.-The
passing of Huerta will remove at
least one mote from the presidential
eye and perhaps the White House Wis
ion will now become. belatedly a lit
tie clearer
San Antonio (Tex) Republic-Pres-
ident Wilson has sQuandered a great
deal Of the country's money for junk
citing trips for his pets.
Uniontown (PaD Herald Champ
Clark isn't going to he so bitterly dis
appointed at not getting the Democra-
tic nomination this year.
Newcastle CInd0 Courier-The Will
son administration will certainly be
up against it IL it ever runs out or
perfumed note paper.
Evening journal., 1916-02-28
Just q Moment
DAILY STRENGTH AND CHEER.
Compiled by John G. Quinius.
(The Sunshine NAM

Begin to possess it.-Deut. 2 "a
Nine-tenths OF the battle is won it
seems to me. if we start right.
Dwight L. Moody.
Ny Father! Teach me to trust Thy
love May I dare to believe in it when
the dark clouds brood as well as
when the sun shines May I never
doubt that Thou art doing Thy best
for me. and that what know not now,
I shall know hereafter
r. B. Meyer
You remember the French student
Evening journal., 1916-02-28
PEERLEss ENGINE FoR HINDA.

Delaware Garage, conducted by Peter
Hansen, has received the contract to
supply a Peerless marine engine for the
yacht Kinda. which is used in these
waters by the United States engineers
Office. Tho Hinda is % feet long and
feet 6 inches beam. The new Peerless
engine will replace an engine Of different
mnl,o
Evening journal., 1916-02-28
w. e. IT. II. MEETING.

The Newport Woman's Christian
Temperance Union will hold its
monthly meeting at the home of Mrs.
Emily Gregg, on Wednesday afternoon,
March /.
Evening journal., 1916-02-28

nominations for officers. followed by
tea
April 22-Election Of officers.
April 2S-In charge of music com
mittee, Mrs Anna Armstrong, chair
man.
May 5-Current Events. in charge
of Miss Mary Schaefer
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
HELP WANTED MALE
storcs and OFFICES.

stores and offices.
BUYER, hwdr, and groceries. mail order.
$50; travelling salesman, staple line. 800;
city salesman, staple line, Sl5-{S5; ship
ping and stock elk, future opportunity
for road position, $50; bkpr., mdse. ex-
S5j. ledger elk, si5; retail salesman,
hdWr, g7j, retail salesman, wall paper
and paints sS5. steno. and bkpr, ss5;
steno. and bkprq SO, advertising man
catal0g work, special. stock elk, young
man familiar with mechanical goods, SO;
shipping elk and asst. bkpr,, $50.
Western Reference a. Bond ASS n, Inc.
Orlguators Of the Reference Business
lo2 Omaha National Bank Bldg.
BOOK * EEPER OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES 1855
Bookleeper bank. out OF city. .65
bookkeeper lcityl 80 -; 700
Real estate salesman Cexp. IN buying
0.t..,..,s.t..,,,,,.,..s.. $50 or Br.
We have several other openings not
COOPERATIVE REFERENCE co.
Established 10 Years.)
lOl5lG City Matt Bk.
THREE Statesmen ..............S s5.O0
STENO. a. KKPR..,....,......" $500
STENO. tout town a.......,.+.,.... 1900
TYPfST & CLERK. ............,s.. 1000
OFFICE MGR dnvestment ,...,, 1900
THE CANO AGENCY, 600 Bee Bldg.
WE can always place hlgh-cass com
merclal help. No. FILING FEE, only
50 cents for investigating references,
THE MARTI co, 1921 w. o. w. Bldg,
sTENo. and blskpr.. ss5; steno., SO: steno
and bkhpr $751; stsno., $50, bkkpr.,- 500,
ledger clerk, $50. office boy SIS, Watts
Ref Co. $40 Brand. Thea.
I'rpfessions aud Trades.
CAN use experienced meat cutters OF
good. clean habits. Apply In person
Basket stores office. oil Brandets The
alter Bldg.
SEE US FOR DRUG JOBS.
COOPERATIVE REFERENCE CO.
Established Ten Years.
lOi5-l6 city National.
WANTED--R Barber, SIS guaranteed, must
ho workman, single man preferred. O.,
II. Corpe. Julesburg, Colo.
WANTED Al ONcr-Experienc tn-
ner aud plumber steady work J. -.
Sauser. crotton, Neb.
FIRST-CLASs inside and outside paint
ers wanted. j, + Poeckes, 100 Main ST.,
lo Mara, IN
Drug store snaps lohs knelst. Zee hldE
statesmen ana Solicitors.
Statesmen wanted TO sell merchandise
In Omaha. Nebraska, Des Mones, Sioux
city and Waterloo, Iowa. Call aa2 So
18TH st Omaha. NehrsHka,
III You nave selling ability see stand
ard Sec. 8 Inv, Co.. lVls w. . w.
hldg omaha
extra good. bis money for
the salesman who Il a business get'er
SALESMAN 10 travel ln Nsb STANDARD
Sec and lnt Cos ieii NJ ID ~ Hidg
Trade sehmats,
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
Min,.eiInn.,,us.

ARMY OF THE UNITED STATES. MEN
WANTED, Able-bodisd unmarried men
between ages OF is and IS. citizens o.
United States. OF good character and
temperate habits. who can speak, read
and write the English language, For in
formation apply % Recruiting officer,
Army Bldg. 18th and Dodge SITS,
omaha. Neb 907 Sixth Ave, Des
Molncs Ia. s27 Fourth ST., Sioux City,
la, 100 N. Tenth ST.. Lincoln. Neb.
SIS TO $50 per month extra money TO en-
pioyed women and men without inter-
fhring with regular work no selling, no
canyassing. positively no investment;
unemployed need not apply, Spencer
Co, 37 W. Madison. Chicago. I'LL
WANTED--A man with references for
family liquor house. Co. Bluffs man
preferred. l. 1910, Bee
WANTED Names OF ambitious men. IS
70 Is wishing TO become omaha mall
carriers. Commence s67 month. Address
Y 3is. Bee.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
AGENTS AND CANvASSERS

AGENTS wanted at once. Ten first
class statesmen 10 sell hail insurance
on growing crops to farmers, Men pre-
ferred who have had experience sell
ing insurance, nursery stock. groceries
or other commodities TO farmers. sea-
son right 70 commence work at once,
agents now In the field making Mig
money; special contract TO general agent
who can furnish several good men.
Write stating experience, etc, Des
Moines Mutual Insurance association,
Crocker Bldg. Des Moines, In.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
nInTms ANp pnArns.

Brths-O, NJ. and Mabln stanton, Mg7
Larimoro, glrli A, and Coneetto In Felia,
.4s south Fifth. boy Dir. and Mrs Frank
Clark, i7i4 Maudefson, boy, John ana
Fannie Nightingale, 623 South Thirty
first. girl. John and Amy Anderson, 282s
South Thirty-hfth avenue claude and
Carolina FlDekner, 0s South Thirty
eighth, girl John md jessie Ma1in
South Thlrty-firHt, airli X, I3 and Rose
Ylrnk, 22l0 South Sixteenth, boy
Deaths Mrs. Margaret Rogers ". hos
ptal, James y. Redmond. b2, hospital,
Mrs Anna Corflgan, ~ 900 South Thirty
NINTH Mrs Clara White, q, 2W3 i Au-
gust Myers, ~, 1874 Florence boulevard.
Miss Mamie Moran, 49, hoapitnl; Yetta
Obetmun. hoapifal; Ireita Hanson, 2'gl
Charles, Walter q, Hoover 49, Bl8 North
South Twenty fiRhth; Mary v, ANAL, 81,
7l2 North TWentysthlrd
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
nuILnrSo PERMITS.

Trayor brothers, 8iA Decatur, frame
dwelling. $500 osborne Realty company,
2gii Shirley, frame dwelling, t2G01,
Osborne Realty company. 1908 bouth
Home builders, GA Park aVonu0. frnme
dwelling, 1880
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
SITUATIONS WANTED
MnIe.

Male.
WANTED-By man with Ford car job as
advertising agent or salesman for good
responsible firm. Address Box ass.
Blair, Neb,
APPRENTICE In repair automobile
shop wants position, small salary 10
start. liu9 $. 9Th 81. Phone Doug
~ 1882.
YOUNG Wan wants position as chauffeur;
cen fHrnt8E references and will demon
ltr.Ln Hamilton st Walnut 1914
YOUNG Ig4u wants work as chauffeur
nr ia agto repair ahnp; No. mechanic,
Phona l9oaRlag 3i2f. 2bS2 Harvey NJ,
JAPANESE wanta position as chauffeur,
cook OF general bou6eWork IN nice
rr.taic samhy, 64dfesa 8l Bee.
MALE nursing or attendant By malo
nurGa O experience, Lest OF city refer
ence. address a i0l, Bee.
SITUATION wanted ~ a coiored man
cook, IN or out OF city. Address u
LARGO ~ VANS work OF any Kind
Hoteis ana hs-SAarants.
RELIAHLE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY
1910 Davenport st. Douglas 1855
headquarters fof hotel help
miscellaneous.
FARMERS You want help write
81 call Empire Labor Agency. 200 s.
18th. Phone DOUG. 1905.
WANTED HouaecleanlnR by the day oy
rellnb!s colored man. Call Webster 2O69
WINDOWS washed. rugs beaten. screens
repaired wnitowashlng. Walnut 2l2
LAMka moved; he screaming Web 1872
HAULING ashes and rubbish Web NSs
Female.
EAPERlENCED colored woman wants
TINS . aHIFt sal.N "A -
can furnish good references. Phone ~.
946 N. 9Th ST :,
WIDOW without children Wishes posi-.
ton 90 honsekeeper whore che can teke
full charge cnn furnish best Of refor-
THE BEE charge for situation ads
y lower than any oth.T form ~ adyer.
Using not enough ~ cover cost Of
printing
lady desires position az honsekeepor,
no objection 70 leaving the city Ad.
dress a 1899, Bee,
RELIABLE coored girl wants Chamber
maid work or work at nights. &c. 2975.
GOOD colored girl Wnnts place caring for
children. Webster 1859.
COOK private boarding house. d. 500
laundry and Day Work.
NEAT colored glr wants day work of any
Kind. Call Webster 1901. Anna Mitchell
WANTED-Position as maid or day work
BY experienced col. woman. Web 1000
FIRsT-CLAss laundress, cleaning. By
colored woman, best OF ref Web. 6S44
BUNDLE or family washing called for
x del, @k. guar, reasonable, Web. .672
Bundle Washing day work. or housekeop-
ing position. Mrs. Cameron. Red 1866
BUNDLE washing. piece work. lace cur
tainA. work guaranteed, Webster 1850.
EXPERIENcED laundrcss wants any
Kind Of day work Phone Harvey 2ibb
LEE YEE LAUNDRY. 1870 California
HIND work called for al q delivered.
cOLOREb mr wants house cleaning.
references Phone Harvey 1854
DAY work or plain sewing 2l2s NJ 10th
Ave Phone Webstef 2S76.
cHAMBERMAlD or day work. Web. 2Ol6
Laundreas. day work D Jackson. w 1861
Cooking or day work. 1871 lizard Tyler 1909
FlksT rlass Iaul eas day work. u 1859.
EXP. laundresa q mems shirts " 1852
LAUNDRY and day work Web. 1901
HUMBLE waahlnG Il Jay work Web. $50
WaHhlng and lace curtains dome Ty liH
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
BUSINESS CHANCES

GOSlUES9 SiN6lN1GS
RELIABLE manufacturer wants capable
business man 70 open office and man
nge salesmen Liberal contract, 800 10
500 capital necessary. Possibilities IN
limited Expenses paid 10 Chicago II
accepted Manager 1871 Lytton Bldg
CHICAGO.
CAFE.
Wanted, man TO conduct cafe. All
newly decorated and furnished, VIII
mako rent free. A fine business
SAVOY HOTEL,
Fifteenth and Jackson
BEST MONEY MAKING
BAKERY. CONFECTIONERY ETC.
IN NEBRASKA FOR SALE.
$1,000 cash business last year, good
reason for selling, look into tbis at
once. Write me, Il. 80, Bee.
MOVING Picture Theaters. real bargains
machines repairs supplies. accessorieH
new and second hand See ua.
OMAHA THEATER SUPPLY CO.,
Baird bldg. Doug $500
WANTED Optclon 70 take over bust
ness hi Council Bluffs. Cheap rent. In
struments and fixtures at almost your
own price. A real big bargain, Address
owner y lO2, Bee.
GOOD paying movie show, town Of 800
Only two shows IN Town Lave wires
act quick. Money maker. 404 Ware
Blk Phone Red 6446
SMALL. cleaning plant and tailor shop,
doing good business in good town 5000
must sell al once. other business. Ad-
dress y g9a Bee
FOR sALE-Good, clear stock OF hard.
ware. 1.-Two town central a Meierask q
dress Y 81. Bee.
LIST WITH ME for quick results. Have
live customers waiting. YOUNGMAN.
230 ON NAT RANK. nOifiT.AS Hi6
Dowd Sale and Auction Co. Omaha, have
closed out moro mdse. stocks than any
other firn IN Y. y write Tor leslns -
THEATERS- Buy lease or cell your the
alter machine and supplies through
Theater FIX Co. 1905 Farnam ID 1881
WILLIAMS. established 20 years To buy
or sell business see him. al McCague
bldg Reference u S, Nat. Bank,
FOR sALE-Good paying restaurant,
new, live town, other business. Box Ab,
Grass Range, Mont
MOTIOis PICTURE MACHINES.
New and rebuilt bargains, supplies.
Omaha Film Exchange l@ :. l4th ~.
OFFICE TOR zeal estate or insurance,
same floor az bee office i3x2i feet, $50.
The Pee Bldg Office Room 1903
RESTAURANT TOR sale. doing good
business. viii sell cheap II taken soon.
ADDRESS y 'Ni, Bee, l-.
FOR SALT Black Hills drug store, ~
ono az largest towns, Sales, $500 Adj
dress sN Zee
6Nf.Y movie IN town OF $50. partner
shin disagreement. G.. w. shultAet
tloronce Neh --
NICE clear lot. iist aud sphuldlng; ex-
change for diamonds. Address U las
Hee
no SELL, or buy a business, call on
Busch & RorFhoff Frenzer lllk ll 2ils
no gEr in on nnt on business call Oh
GANGFsTAp co Bee Bldg noug $40
ROOAWNa houses at great bargains GAll
a. Warn Hk Phone Red bsle
no quisky .eli 81 buy Is husinoss write
IlN WNAY sioux city Ia
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
tofaFnisnea noama.
HOTELS

Natt hANt0Hu tt4fEi. UAWtWy
}Hh a Famau tefh ana t.rsss,
oates ia rsfosssoi stesis
ttan hafata thR bsa.HnIas IL iHt Hss
ft #sf ts Htitsh af usgaaHs o.
at tete Sd maFr Haa a. msa.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
MONUMENTS Am 1nMsrrRnrs.

EURE white reinforced cement grave
markers, with name AMI date $50,
crosses $500 Del In 3 days Redfnan
Marher Co. 1902 spencer Webster So5.
bHaiuelstef Mouumrul ~ OrKs, mHusO-
teums. al Kinds 1arkers 18th < rnarleA
NOTHING about the sarcophagus tomb
60 rust or oarrOde
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
mAnnIAGr LrenNsrs.
irmlts to wed have been iaaoed to the
INIuuf

Permits 70 wed have been iasucd 10 the
following;
Name md Residence, Ago
Henry u. Bhapere, Nebfa8hn city,, ~
Leila Parker, Nebraska Cltyu",s.t..t ~
Cecil WllliH, Hampton, Heb,......,,.,,, y
Edna dclicsplo, Pnnnma, Ih.,,,o,,,,s, -
JUN w, lincon, Dtnnhha,ss..ts'sttttstts ~
Marian Guffney, Omnhasa.s,.,,,.,u.,. ~
dhgh Mohby' GHihnh rs'ff"t f''tss'f'tt *
badia Culyor, Observation-Disclosures. ~
Frank Kfolfols. ifn Julian Nsb.,a..., ~
Florence Harris, Julian, Nebup..++., ~
Frank Brnntze. Florence &c
Hhzsl Harrison, Omnhn,at.s,s.,,,,st.s.. ~
fegtsr Aouthwiek. OmahGp,.,,,,,.,.t, n
Ellis Hurst, Omaha, Observation-Disclosures y
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11

RELIABLE manufacturer wants capable
business man 70 open office and man
nge statesmen. Liberal contract 800 70
500 capital necessary. Possibilities un-
limited Expenses paid TO Chicago n
accepted. Manager 1877 Lytton Bldg
CbienHa
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
FLORISTS

bhs1 QUALITY CUI FLOW hs or
plants, Art Combinations, shipped every
where. Excellent service To our Gus.
toners IN past years RECOMMENDED HESS
sWOBODA. l4ib Fhrnam 81 . 1901
LARGEST AsaUkrMEAT OF froan
flowers, delivered OF shipped Anywhere.
l., HENDERSON 1913 farnam 81.
a. boNAdHGE, i622 Harvey. Doug ioOi,
BATH, florist. 1904 Farnam 81. y. 800
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11

II YOU suffer with sore. sweating or VI
smelling feet. send SIC for our prepara
ton which brings permanent comfort
and relief. Far West Mnfg. Co. Box
l04l, Seattle. wash.
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
PERSONAL

THE salvation Army Industrial home SO
ucits your old clothing, furniture, mag
azines. We collect. We distribute
Phone Douglas 4l25 and our wagon WIN
call Call ana inspect our new nome
Ill0-ill2-lll4 Dodge St
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
PERSONAL
PILES, F1STULA
CURED

pr q n rsfry saf.s pu.a u.,ua
.as ether sss'sl assal. .l,begl urst
sai sp.ra,laa W.. sa,raa,ssa ana -
monsY saia antll ssrsa Write taF eoss
en- fsetsl disease. snA ssslnaai.a
Ola a rARRr. ~ ass nas
oaahA Nss
Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-05-11
MOLER s BARBER
COLLEGE

COLLEGE
Men wanted 70 isagu ths trade We
nave uFIAtnaWd plan e. teach "A
quickly and earn hAak tuition While
iearnlus Tools Included Opsn to eNefY
one. Write inf catalogue, le Sc iAh
Al Omaha Aoh
doom Mns WANTED
a lsafn auto eaFk Coz ins his spriHs
rush fihH iftiniaE hefA on autos ani
gaCtrn ataFfna AfsieiAs
AMERICAN Az 80 Auti.hkih
kat ts9uAm M giasha Nsh
lMANN rsfhnt fMaa. niafs iHan maze
Fu4r tGigteH sHila ls4fulua ses 81 ta4it
Included iah stafantae1 Nal "a Ntiit
go tsta,aave itH uadse
NMt etfN NAHhkN litstk4k
MAN a6aleA ln fafa aa tatssf WsAs
HuiiiaN tH teA Ass Al t8HAH&
OMAHA WAWHHF SOS htttk
nHfa
NANTtn itfflea h nlaM = eser "a
natff AtHlt lAaA att At4
Qmsha
NNlNNN AaF Nf WaaFanaaF asf iea
stt $751; fahs
WaWs4 aeas Wkst Ats Is ssast
ieta e snsaat f "a fhs na
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
Friday, November 10

STATISTICS OF the production OF
durum wheat issued by the depart
ment Of agriculture show that it is
increasing in Minnesota and the Da-
kotas. Durum wheat commazds some
thing like seven cents a bushel less
than other spring wheats, but its
yield per acre is 80 much greater that
II pays the farmers to grow It. The
crop last year in these states was
about S7,9OO.0 900 bushels. compared
with $4,000, 600 bushels in 1914. The
average yield per acre was 1913 bush
els, compared with an average Of ia
bushels for other spring wheats. Who
can blame a farmer for raising the
crop that gives him the best returns
for his labor?
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
FOOD suesTITuTEs.

OF the making of economical diets
khere is no end. The food substitute
crank rushes I'm where angels might
fear to intrude. Rarely indeed has
he anything worth while TO offer. For
the most part he hands out sugges-
lions hat are holly resented by the
very individuals he thinks he is bene-
fitting. The subject OF substitute food
is a dangerous ne. An editor who in
all sincerity recommended to Ameri-
can workers the scanty and decidedly
economical diet OF European labor,
brought both TO himself and his pa.
per a sharp fusillade Of ridicule and
criticism. Every little while some
new form Of food is extolled by these
fussy advisers. A Chicago man
claims to have discovered hat the
muskrat makes a fine substitute for
beef. A writer in a Philadelphia
journal tells what a boon horse meat
and sparrow soup should be to lam.
lies with small incomes. Naturally,
these suggestions meet with ridicule.
In commenting on the muskrat advice,
a writer suggests that the way to coax
a novice to eat muskrat is TO hypno.
the him into believing II is rabbit,
The Philadelphia advice is net by a
facetious correspondent who not only
satirically accepts the substitutes. but
goes ahead and adds to them. He
tells how much nutrition his large
family-limited to $3.50 weekly in
come-can extract from herbs and
hay. He says he has tried sparrows
but prefers house mice, the latter be
ing much less gamey and better mus
Gle builders.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
OBSERVATIONS
PUMPKIN HILL ITEMS
DOCS 3 sCHEME.

DR.. Killem, the Pumpkin Hill pulse
regulator who has found business
pretty dull in these parts during the
last month, gave a big supper 10
twenty of his friends last Monday
evening to boost his profession. Doc
says the scheme worked fine, as that
night he got twenty calls and treated
fifteen cases of acute indigestion,
netting him $3.50 at ten cents apiece.
Deducting the cost Of the grub, which
nc, there still remained the re-
diculous profit of az cents. Doc says
this is a mighty handsome sum in
comparison to nothing, which he
would have received if he hadn't given
the supper. What puzzles him now
is why the other five guests, who ate
with him that evening, didn't need
treatment. but he says he'll find out
today by ringing up the undertaken.
DR.. Killem wants us to mention in
this weeks Pumpkin Hill News that
he will give another supper next Mon
day night and if this one is as sue.
cessful as the last one, he'll make
these suppers a weekly affair in the
future and boom Pumpkin Hill as sht
has never been doomed before. You
must admit it-Doc's a hustler.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
NEARLY GOT OUR COAT.

While gulping down the weeks
copy in the Pumpkin Hill News Office
yesterday, the editors goat accident
ly swallowed a Chinese dictionary ard
if it hadn't been for our rapid-fring
thought producer, Mrs. Squash's pet
would now be floating away on some
feece-lined cloud. We saved Bills
life by feeding him two copies of the
Literary Digest, which the paopkin
Hill editor always keeps on hand fol
UGH emergencies.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10

A Rochester manufacturer, long a
sufferer from dyspepsia, has left to the
university OF that city a bequest Of
seven hundred thousand dollars to
found a department Of dietetics. His
idea is that the ~codifcation, so to
speak. Of the principles underlying
the preparation OF digestible food
would confer a greater blessing on
mankind than his money could buy
IL expended in any other way. The
great trouble is. however, that only
people who have suffered for a long
time the manifold discomforts of dys-
pepsia will pay the least attention to
the digestibility Of what they eat.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
Appreciative.

Now, this poet has the right idea
about doing business" said the editor.
You surprise me-"
Before submitting a sonnet he
presents me with a first-class cigar
Suppose the poem is not worth pub.
llshing?"
"Oh. I'm not without a sense ot
gratitude. I'll contribute a two-cent
stamp and see that he gets his verses
rack again"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
ssEt,s PROBABLE.

Now. don't tell me that opportu-
nifty has never knocked at your door,"
said the didectic person.
II wouldn't make such a statement"
replied the disconsoiate individual,
because I'm o sure of the facts,
hut I'm reasonably certain about one
thing"
"And what is that"
"If she ever did so she probably
Knocked just about the time some
chump came along in his automobile
and footed his horn 30 loudly l
couldn't hear her"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
Too True.

"Look.a here, SAM"
Yes, Liza"
us begginnin' to think yer doesn't
love me no more"
Nonsense. Liza; what put dat in
yer head?'
"Why, yer JUS sit thar by the fire
and sees me work"
Bless yer, Liza! The more l sits
here and sees yer work the more !
loves yer, h%oney!"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10

The government has been told that
the real weak spot in the nations
defenses consists of bad cooks. There
is no doubt that If good dinners were
the rule throughout the land, there
would be a much more cheerful view
taken of preparedness and other prob
lens. A man cannot be pessimistic
with his stomach at peace with him
self and all the world.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-11-10
His Mind.

Permit me to give you some good
advice, said the meddlesome person.
GO ahead" replied the irascible
man. you cant make me feel any
worse than I do already"
oh, If you are going to take it that
way, III keep silent
That's right! Shut up like a clam
now and catch me some other time
when you will have a better chance to
spoil my day.