The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-01-07
SHE MEANT
WELL

I've got a beautiful surprise Tor
you, Tommy" said the three-months
bride to her husband one morning at
breakfast.
Something to eat?" asked Tom,
passing by the plate of forlorn-looking
biscuits and helping himself to a
piece of toast.
"Piggy-wig!" responded the three
months bride, contemptuously. Yes,
1t is something to eat, but you're not
going to get 1t until Sunday morning
It's waffies." The three months
bride folded her small hands in her
lap and beamed proudly upon her re-
cent acquisition in the matrimonial
line.
"Whew," whistled Tom, who was al
ways properly appreciative. Did you
ever made any. Pudge?'
No." said the three months bride.
But | have a perfectly lovely set of
waffle irons that one of the girls gave
me at my kitchen shower, and I'm
just crazy to use them"
The young wife rose half an hour
earlier than usual the next Sunday
morning. She spread out the cook
book on the table.
Two eggs, she chanted to her.
self. 1T doesn't say whether to beat
them separately or not. but want
these to be the finest waffles that ever
We're, so I'll beat them separately"
She broke the eggs into two dishes,
little song as she did so.
Then she leaned again over her Gull
nary guide, philosopher and friend.
lone cup of sour milk" she read.
Nov. there's yodr sour milk. Half
a teaspoonful of salt There's your
salt. Flour to make a good batter.
Oh, dear. | do hate recipes that don't
tell exactly how much to put in. Half
teaspoonful soda. I'm always afraid
TO use soda, so III just use baking pow
der instead, for it's so much safer. 1t
doesn't say which thing to put in first,
so I'll Just put them all in at once
Have the waffle irons sizzling hot as
soon as your batter is ready Why,
the batter's all ready and haven't
begun to heat the irons"
She hustled around and presently
an odor of well-cooked ironware began
to fill the room. The young wife
a finger and applied It
daintily to the outside of the waffle
iron.
''Psst!" the waffle iron remarked.
Il guess you're hot enough" said
the young wife. happily. This batter
looks rather queer and bubbly, but
suppose it's all right. Now, here
goes"
She carefully opened the irons and
deposited a spoonful of batter in
each receptacle. Then she closed them
and waited few minutes. An odor
of neatly browning waffles and very
smelly waffle irons rose to her nostrils
and gradually filled the room. A wor.
ried crease began to show on her
smooth forehead.
She took hasty peep at the cook
book, but it was unrelentingly silent
on the subject. An odor of burning
drew her back to the stove. She took
hold of the handle of the iron on the
northeast corner and tried gently to
raise It. It refused to move. Then
she gave 1t little jerk. Still there
was no response. She gave It a still
more decided jerk and the iron open
ed with a suddenness that can be as
cribed only to the total depravity Of
inanimate things.
1t opened its jaws with a vicious
pop and then shut them again with
a clap that made the young wife
dance away from the stove and cover
both eyes with her hands under the
that they were full Of red
hot batter. In the rebound she came
up against the pan of batter and It
fell to the floor with a crash. BY this
time the room was filed with the
smell Of burning waffies.
With the one idea in her mind of
avoiding the catastrophe OF having
her living room curtains permeated
with the awful odor, the young wife
seized the hot iron with her bare
hand
At this crucial moment the little
demons that preside over such annoy.
ing affairs moved Tom, the large and
innocent to open the door. Ignorant
that the situation was explosive in a
high degree, he called, jovially:
Breakfast ready, Pudge?"
Driven to frenzy by the sight of the
and self-satisfied looking
thing, the young wife gave
a wild, unhuman below. Then she
deliberately kicked the offending waf.
ile iron to the other side Of the room.
In terrible crises we sometimes
have almost preternatural intuitions.
Toms behavior upon this occasion
was almost uncanny in its intelligence.
He spoke no word, he made no offer
Of resistance. He beat a hasty re-
-reat. while the once happv bride
lung furious words after him.
Il hate YOU" she cried, land I hate
and loathe being married. despise
you and everything in this house and
wish ! had died before | saw you,"
Then with a final little squeal she
brew the spoon which she held in her
land at Toms retreating back, but 1t
merely crashed into the wall and fell
lpon the floor with a clatter She
rave II parting kick which sent it
lnder the sink. then she fed out of
he kitchen into her own room and
damned and locked the door.
Tom, like the really lovely creature
hat he was, softly returned to the
iitchen, cleaned it up after his own