The Sunday telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1914-1927, 1916-03-05
PREPAREDNESS PLAN
GETS A BLACK EYE
At the Brotherhood Congress,
Which Furnishes AmuSe-
ment to Large Crowd.

friday night, until the close the de-
bate was highly exciting and fraught
with amusing interest The speaker
was at his best and presided with
much dignity and spoke with great de-
liberation. The president Of the United
States In the person Of Lloyd P. Scud-
era, the department store man. had
much to say. He hit right and left
and scored the lunatIcs and fools. He
was laxative. but some people think
the president talks more than he used
10. anyhow. Vice President Marshall
was represented by DR.. ]. W. Johnston.
OF course, he. as usual. had nothing to
say. He sits and looks pretty and
looks on. But l. X. Richards, as en-
president Roosevelt was delighted He
showed his teeth and flung his soft
words in every direction. especially
at the mollycoddles and Byzantine
lOgOthetes. He had the Rooseveltian
style and looks. Mayor Craddock, of
Broad Oaks. In sincere. calm and
dispassIUnate way represented Mr..
Bryan, the Evangel Of Peace and friend
OF the president. II was moved and
EhliIGA LAhL LuAs t&~sGELElhls All
whIlld-be president be accorded the
privilege of the House.
Lawyers w. II. Taylor. rs Mann OF
Illinois. and Harvey W. Harmcr. as
Claude Kitchln. of North Carolina,
were the respective leaders OF debate.
And so we'll did they act their part
as to make believe that either OF them
could play part In real Congress
With much credit Well. you ought to
have heard the wit and humor Of Au-
gustus P. Gardner, OF Massachusetts.
He sailed in and sailed out, and kept
the House in roar. He was for any
thing to defeat the Democrats. He
would rather have war than have the
Democrats in power. 1t Is needless
to say that Mr.. Gardner was represent
ed by the inimitablc representing
attorney, James Edward Law. The
venerable Isaac r. Sherwood. of Ohio.
the man of peace. who fought in the
late rebellion and Is for pensions for
every soldier. was there in the youth
full appearing Judge Maxwell; and
while he was once in war, he Is now
for peace. And he brought the house
down when he said he hesitated to
support the president Of his party for
he did not know what issue" he
might bring forth in the next few
months. Our genial circuit clerk, I.
Wade Coffman, performed the part
Uncle Joe Cannon. with his stogie,
He was against the Democrats. He
compared his dignitied way of presid.
ing to the man of houn' dog fame from
Missouri. He deplored the closing of
the factories, and especially the brew
cries of West Virginia. But he was
for the bill for he saw 1t appropriated
money. He paid his disrespects to the
Bull CHOSE leader, and had read sew
oraI amusing kilograms. among which
was one from his distinguished con-
stituent. Edward j. Doyle. Prof.
Fisher. as Padgett. Lemuel c., from
the state Of Tennessee. with scholastic
dignity, showed the defenseless con-
ditl0n of New York City and how 1t
might be held up for enough money to
pay the costs Of the whole European
war-ho was for preparedness. ICY
clone" Davis of Texas was represented
by Judge Robinson. He did not want
n large standing army. Texas could
take care Of itself anywhere; its chief
products were Democrats, "niggers"
and cotton and the standing army had
never done any good or any harm TO
1t except when negro troops shot up
Brownsville; greatly to the discomfort
of the man with the big stick. DR.. E.
n. Flowers, bIushing, florescent and
bashful, played the part of Martin
Dies, of Texas, and he was not for
war at any cost. Nicholas Longworth,
Of Ohio, who gained distinction by
wedding Alice Blue Roosevelt, with a
full suit of real black hair. was we'll
prepared to champion the side Of war
in the presence of his delighted father
in-law, who expressed his satisfaction
by showing his bi-cuspids. 1t was dis
covered. however, that it was Mr..
Dudderar, secretary OF the board of
trade, instead OF Alice Roosevelt's
husband. When Warren Worth Bailey.
of Pennsylvania, was given time, Mill
lard F. Snider came forth and you
could see from the start that 1t was
his aim to defeat the bill. lie spoke
over his time and then wanted the
privilege of extending his remarks in
the record. His sallies about an IT.
responsible ex-presldent running loose
over this country crying for war prep
aratfon created great amusement.
Louis A. Johnson should have repre-
scented James Hay. OF Virginia. chair
man of the committee on military af-
fairs, but he was absent at commit
tee meeting. Edgar F. Hood. with not
ed precision read the hill in stem
torian tone, and mechanically per-
formed the duties of his Office. rs
clerks are wont to do. Other tcle-
grams were received and read. and
numerous things said, done and acted
Nearly every member Of The House
appeared to be there, for there were
but few vacant seats. 1t was some
Congress. z r, =
Senator Roy f. Parrish, as Repre-
sentative Shackleford. of Missouri
closed the debate. and he made II
known that tho time had arrived when
the members Of tho House were more
Interested in the pork barrel and sliced
ham than they were in war. and they
wanted peace-that Isl. piece of pie.
The previous question was then or
dered. And tho storm of noes caused
the noted, speaker, with his usual de.
liberation to say: 1.-THE noes have 1t
and the bill is lost.
Harry @: Huffman, president OF the
Brotherhood, then announced the
"eats." He also announced that the
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