The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-16
They Can't Help It."

like that No, Stree, not Harry
Underwood I"
They Can't Help It."
"Nou know haven't explained yet
why. I'm here this morning he went
ON He appeared 10 be fascinated with
his own conversations | was grateful
tor anything that stopped his personal
aluHous
You see it,, thi, way" he said with
confidential air that would have az
pcdlrd to my sense OF the ludlcrouS II
had been less ANNOYED. These two
fellows, good enough chaps" patronll-
lugly live IN Oshkosh That's no,
their fault, he fastened to add with
| generous air They cant help it. They
| have to live there Well, they came to-
/ New York Tor business trip and J.
tried to make mp to them last night for
having 10 live anywhere else than ~
/ New York
we went up one side OF Broadway
from Forty second street for three or
/ .our blocks and came down the other
and took drink in every place We
could buy one.
at wa, some record, | tell YOU" he
went ON proudly, hut what a bundle
We did acquire didn't dare go home
20 my calm ilreSidc Nou know Lii. SO
| STAYED the night with the hoy, al
their hotel
When We got up a little while ago
We decided we'd have to do a penancc
of some sort The worst thing could
think OF was 20 go to Brooklyn o.
Staten Island We tossed coin to
see which we'd do head, Staten Island
tails Brooklyn 1t came down head,
and here We are waiting Tor the Jerry
boat
. 10 my horror he executed icw
dance steps, chanting the while, wait
lug for the good old ship He hal
sense enough lclt to keep his voice low
and / wa, much relieved TO see that nc
one Appeared TO notice hi, actions
"The Ferry Will Do"
Say III tell YOU what wrll do, h,
said you and Dlcky'N mother com,
along with u, to Staten Island old
) girl doesn't like me over and above,
, know he added ,otto voice but tha
won't hurt have managed wor,,
cranks in my time than She is II
make those other fellows keep thcl,
distance and we'll have nice liul,
trlp'
II lad not been so genuinely angr,
and annoyed ! could have laughed a
the mental picture | had OF Harr,
Underwood eNcortiug my mother in Law
and me ON ferry trip to Stater
island But IT was no time 10
laughter Instead was at my wits
~id to know what to do The idea q
the proposed Jerry trip evidently ap
pealcd 10 his bciuddled imagination
He turned toward my mother law.
"Guin' to take YOU and little lad
: here ON nice ferry trip he announce
gcnlally, Sorry, yachts out OF com
|. mission this morning, but ferry will d
|. very we'll
= have not much reason to like IN
. mother in law, but shall always h
|. grateful 10 her for the way she cut IN
, Gordian knot OF my difficulties
. Young man, YOU are lmpcrtinent an
, intoxicated she said haughtil
= please step aside
I. And taking me firmly by the arm ~,
, mother IN law walked steadily with m
= toward the door oi the womens re-
room Her manner of conducting m
|. was much the same as that the matto
|. oi reiormatory would use in taking
. charge from one place to another. h,
!. was too relieved to care The lccrln
. face ol Harry Underwood was II
longer before my ewes. and his beiu,
. died words no longer Jared upon n
. ears Those were the only things th
y mattcred to me Tor the moment
. my telici | felt strong enough to bra,
. the weight OF my mother in-law's al
!. yer, which was very sure was abo
= to descend upon me.
q Copyright 1907