Charlevoix county herald., 1916-10-27
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Pureing the Heart.

smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
freshn' jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on horn an ivrythin' falls for ut.
If the people call him liver so soft,
Little Samuel had no quicker ear. An
for sacry6cin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dlmocrlcy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
''T'is his Presbyterian bringln' up,
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts policy;
thin he thrles to justify Ii, thin he
sanctifies 1t wild phrase, while a choir
iv Dlshurvin Dimmycrats sings q
hymn. An there We are. Justification,
Adoption an Sankty-fcashun.
"The choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Bill
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
iv the life iv the great Idaylist.
Harvey went back to edith an Bill
Brine whit in search iv the Howly
Kale. McCombs was canned, because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing a
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff ragtime. But WudthrOw die
Grated thin all. Wild f'what say ye?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross.
Ohio. l mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club, whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what Wudthrow
calls the vital stuffs iv life Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redfield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs Nv praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow Is fond iv music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear a sound.
"Well, wan night in August the
Colonel come tiptoein' in through the
basement dure.
Flows the game, COlOnelT says
Wudthrow. $685., the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an
absent air.
"'Aint l got the full dlnner-paipsT
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. AL
that's forgot the first two year and
a half says House pleasantly. 'Aint
| KEEP EN- out o. war; axes WudthrOw.
Part o. tn time says House rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. Amt my voice our
greatest liquid assetT axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says House,
but lot iv suckers can't tell n asset
firm an li'bility, the Colonel says
F'what are We drivin' at says
Wilson, four flushing little.
"'Arre We watchin' the striker says
House. Half a milyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
"Well, Sir he left Wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. Il hear he says, in low
sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is to me as the vice Of Car
negie Penshun.' Oh he says thrill
lin in ivry nerve, must indade sacry-
flee wan more idol says he, 'on the
altar iv me Counthryv says Wud-
throw.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says;
an the Tariff for Rev'noo,' he says;
ta, oil nj hn
sixteen per'fly good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enoughY he axes
in agony. But l will purge me Heart
iv ivry pers'nal fought says he,
startin' for bed. An before he re-
tires, he takes n Heart Purge iv his
while he sleeps. l dinnaw fwhat the
purge is. 'Tis secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled He
wanted a great sacryfise of a pur-
rinciple, dear TO his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second lrlnd
or slightly damaged sacryises. So
he sends for House. Colonel sass
he, 'F'what pur-rinciple d'yr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincy?' he axes
anxiously.
whisper says the Colonel. And
he said wan wurd i'm Wudthrow's ear,
and faded silently away through the
dure.
For wan instant Wudthrow stud
spellbound. Thin he burst into
whoop; 1.-THE Ram In the Bushes
cries he wild tears lv j'y.
"1owas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryfise was solemny-sed
at the Capitol.
1.-THE procession started fom the
White House wild the Prisldint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram In wan hand
an box Nv Safety-First matches in
tn other. He was followed by coon
bearin' four gold pans, and behind
came four Union Chiefs ridin' on milk
white steeds followed be group iv
Railroad Prisidints, Stock Holders,
Farmers, Shippers and Consumers,
loaded wild chains. After a short SER
mon to Congress on 'Purgin the