davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
Song of the "4oo" Illus band.

We were crowded in the boxes,
 Not a soul would dare to sleep, It was Monday at the opera,
 And the show was long and deep. Iris fearful thing in winter
 To be shattered by the blast Of the highbrow brass and woodwinds Till the social seasons past So we shuddered there in silence,
 Seeing naught. and bored to death, While the orchestra was roaring
 And the singers wasted breath. AS thus we sat in darkness
 Allsbehind the ladies' chairs, "Gotta smoke!" victim shouted
 AS he staggered down the stairs. But an ancient martyr whispered
 As we faced the awful facts: Cant we get a high-ball somew here On the sly, between the acts ?' Then we hugged that hoary sinner,
 As he spoke them words of cheer; And we beat it down to Broadway
 Where the lights were shining clear. New York Tribune.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
Pointed Paragraphs.

Some men work harder to get even than to earn money.
 Many self lf.made man tries to blame the job on his wife. .|
 Sometimes the village dub migrates to city and developes into a real man.
 An ex-spinster says 1t is almost as hard to live with a husband as it is to live without one .."
 A woman never knows a man until after she marries him; then she begins to find him out nearly every night.
 When you give free advice and it works you get no thanks, and if it doesn't, you get what's coming to you.
 Many a man owes his success to the failure of other men.
 The incubator will never succeed in driving the old hen out of business.
 Many men remain bachelors because they associate with married men.
 Women are naturally of clinging nature, but they are not in it with a stingy man when it comes to clinging to dollar.
 One of the greatest Hampers to g mans ambition is the knowledge that the mantle of greatness is usually worr as shroud. Chicago News.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
soLDlERs' MONUMENTS

Interest is being awakened in the proposition to erect a soldiers monu- ment in the cemetery connected with the soldiers home, at Noroton, where 400 soldiers are buried and the number is rapidly increasing. The Grand Army is said to have started movement to secure a suitable monument there, and the state legislature will be asked to make an appropriation to further the project. '
 Possibly the legislature, if it can be caught ill one of its periodical acquies- cent moods, when everything goes. may be persuaded to help out the Canaan soldiers monument project, which was inaugurated by the late $. O. Beckley, a former publisher of The News, who succeeded in securing 8 considerable amount in pledged sub. scriptions but was unable to finish his patriotic and laudable task.
 A number of pledged contributors to the Beckley fund have expressed their readiness to redeem their promises of
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

financial help, and others have even voluntarily offered to double their orig inal rledges whenever the work shall be taken up with anything like a prospect of prosecuting it to finish.
 With sister towns on all sides of us proudly boasting their soldiers monu- ments, it is not exactly to Canaan's credit and crowning glory, that such a tribute to her many brave sons who went out in the early sixties to fight and suffer and give up their lives for their country, is not only so long de- ferred, but apparently unlikely to materialize until the passing of the last surviving veteran shall quicken the sluggish patriotic conscience of the community to the performance of a duty too long delayed.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
THE PARALYSIS.

There is no infantile paralysis panic here, although one case is under sur- veillance and treatment by the health officer. Reasonable precautions are being observed and the people generally are exercising common sense in their contemplation of the quarantine condi. tions imposed by the health authorities, realizing the necessity for such meas ures as have been prescribed, and will ingly co operate to guard against a spread of the disease. By advice of the health officer practically all public functions and institutions which att tract the young, have been suspended or closed. Children are not allowed to attend the movie shows; the opening of the public schools has been deferred until two weeks later than usual;. the Douglas Library remains closed, and a strict watch is kept upon the arrival of all parties entering the town anu upon the houses already quarantined as a preventive measure. And the towns people have come to look upon these proceedings as advisable details in a general plan for the public good, and accept them as essential if not unavoid- able.
 The case of the Benedict child is be- ing watched with intense interest, and the improving condition of the little patient is a source of qualification to the whole community.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
A Milford, Conn.,, man has invented

A Milford, Conn.,, man has invented device, said to have proved effective, for catching torpedoes at sea. It con- sists of network of half-inch wire cable, which is hung from the ship's sides, % feet down into the water. When the torpedo strikes the net it re- leases hydraulic mechanism that hoists the torpedo, tail.end upward, out of the water. It sounds all right, but nothing Is surer than that when the ships are equipped with these tor. pedo catchers, the enemy's submarines will equip the business end of their torpedoes with can openers that will put the contraption out of business.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
What Women ane Doing.

London, England, has 757 women train conductors.
 Great Britain now has early 40. 900 war widows.
 Female munition workers in France average $1 15 in wages.
 The Queen or the Belgians often visits the men in the trenches. Italy has more than 3,0UU, 900 women engaged in agricultural pur- suits.
 Women form so per cent. of the school teachers in this country.
 One-half of the textile workers in this country are women.
 The St. Louis National Baseball Club was once managed by woman.
 Women church workers in England get on an average of $275 year
 Edmonton (Canada) banks are re. placing their male employees with females.
 Miss Louise O. Strong is the first woman to practice law in Alliance, Ohio.
 Almost half of the electrical supplies in this country are made by women.
 Great Britain has established schools where women are taught munition work. Scrub women in the office buildings of the United States number more than 26,O00.
 Miss Marie Peary. daughter of the discoverer of the North Pole, is now taking up aviation.
 Nearly 5000 women are employed in the munition factories in this country.
 Girls who patronize the Cleveland dance halls are compelled to show birth certificates.
 Women who have shown bravery under fire will hereafter be awarded 8 military medal by the British Govern ment.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
What the Other Fellows Say

The only difference between Chaplin and several million natural fools is that Charlie gets $675, 900 year for it.-Bridgeport Standard.
 The season is now at hand when people who persist in mistaking toad stools for mushrooms will be long time painfully dying. -Ansonia Sen. tlnel.
 Breathes there man with soul so dead who never to himself has said, in such weather as we have been having, a writer is liable to give the wrong credit to most any we'll known poem ?-Meri. den Journal. Just when we were beginning to think that Hartford was morally clean, a Chinese den is raided, and two white girls found there. .-Hartford Post.
 The Hartford Courant's correspon. dent at Nogales points out that Tor rington is larger than any city in Ariz. ona or New Mexico. Waterbury Re. publican.
 If the "honesty berry basket law" is enforced in tho same degree as many an OGnor good law It VIII De WOrCl JuSG about one ancient and abandoned basket. Bristol Press.
 The short skirts the girls wear give them great freedom of action but the trim shoes that are required offset the advantage of making action painful. - Waterbury American.
 Don't be knocker. Hide your lit. tie hammer and try to speak we'll of others no matter how small you may really know yourself to be. When a stranger drops in, jolly him. Tell him this is the greatest town on earth and it is. Don't discourage him by speak ing ill of your neighbors. There is no end of fun minding your own business, it makes other people like you. No. body gets stuck on knocker.-New Canaan Advertiser.
 Forty thousand dogs and 72, 900 cats have been killed in Greater New York and still infantile paralysis goes on just the same.-Pittsfield Eagle.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Last Friday in the National House, a bill was passed giving away to civic and patriotic societies and municipali- ties all over the country. for park ornamentation, no less than 334 old government cannon, of brass, bronze and iron, with their carriages, and old cannon balls enough to make from one to four pyramids" with each dona. tion. In view of the fact that the price of all kinds of metals was never so high as at present, the generosity of Congress, in giving away this tre. mendo1s amount of munitions that might be re-cast into up.to-date and much needed war material, is some. thing sublime.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
Sardine Fisfinq.

In sardine fishing there are many uncertainties. There is twenty-eight of Fundy, and especially constructed wooden picket inclosures are staked out in the water to gather in the fish. A man erected an inclosure in what he supposed to be excellent fishing territory. but got nothing. He deplored his loss and for time failed to go near it. "Why don't you seine it again?" somebody asked. Whats the use?" he replied. Let me try It." the other persisted "Yes. and you may have all the fish you get" The ottrer man pulled out $1 200 worth at enc haul.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Somebody whispers. the price
 of haircuts may go up to 35 cents.
 We can shave ourselves sometimes,
 but how in the name of the Sons
 of Rest, can we cut our own hair?
 --Hartford Post.
 The impending calamity of 35-cent haircuts should boo n the membership of the Bald Head Club of America. which will banquet in Hartford, Nov ember 16. The price of haircuts has no terrors for the members of that polished organization.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

"Are editorials read ?' asked the Norfolk, Va, Pilot. The Raleigh News. Observer declares: Good editor. ials are read, and always will be. '' Which is true, beyond doubt. AS a matter of fact number of our readers have assured us that the editorial page of The News is the first thing they look for-after they have read the news columns, correspondence and advertise. ments.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

A German inventor announces that substitute for wood pulp newspaper can be produced from cotton stalks. Doubtless. For that matter, hill of cornstalks would make an excellent substitute for some newspapers we wot of-and we don't pretend to be much of wotter, at that.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
GOSSIP OF DAYS GONE BY
Record ot Doings from Week to Week Culled from The News Files.
 I886

 1885
 January IA. Rye straw was selling for S14. 50 per ton.
 Presiding Elder Ferguson preached in the M. E. church. Misses Minnie and Alice Peirce were visiting friends in Brooklyn and New | Raven.
 William Garfield shipped five tons of tobacco to New Milford parties.
 The first number of the Canaan Item, published by John G. Beckley, appeared.
 About 55 couples attended the Masonic ball.
 The Guild of Christ Church gave a social at the residence of Dr. O. W. Camp.
 $. W. Barnes visited friends in North Adams.
 William Shields took down the barn on his farm between Canaan and Ashley Falls.
 Thirty one men were employed at the tobacco warehouse and more needed. /
 The week of prayer was observed in the Methodist church.
 F. B. Young started on trip to Cin- cinnati and New Orleans.
 Elihu Donald and Miss Laura Rudge were married at the residence of the brides sister in Brooklyn.
 The net receipts from the Village Improvement Association supper were S53. 66 and a social time was enjoyed.
 Miss Alice New, of West Cornwall, spent Sunday in Canaan.
 "During the gale of Sunday night the flag pole in front of Town Hall was blown down, demolishing the public sign post. but not breaking the flag pole or injuring the wagon hub which adorned the top of it. This hub has outlived two flag poles and is yet sound enough to out-live another. About 23 years ago during the dark days of the war, the citizens raised a liberty pole and flag, and the late Deacon Charles Kellogg presented the hub which capped the pole.
 Falls Village.-Mr. and Mrs. Charles Preston, of Brooklyn, were in town visiting their many friends. Miss Ida Smith, of Great Burlington, Mass, and Major Nickerson were the teachers in the public schools. Rev. B. N. Lewis and family were very kindly remem. bered at holiday time with purse of m oney and other substantial gifts. H. 0. Crandall was having his houses on Main street painted by D. B. Connor, of Bridgeport.
 West Cornwall-T. s. Gold was in New Orleans for four or five weeks. Mrs. T. s. Gold was visiting in Hart. ford. Adam Coon purchased an Estey organ. ]. The week of prayer was fittingly observed.
 Berkshire County-Hunters in Peru discovered bear tracks only two days old. Mrs. Mark Hopkins was to build a house in Great Burlington to cost S5,000. 900. Hon. H. O. .Ioyner, of Great Burlington, was married to Mary Elizabeth Wild, at Norton, Mass. Skating was enjoyed by city parties on the mill pond in Stock kbridge. Une of the finest monuments in the county was elected to the memory of John H. Coffing. A handsome house was to be built on the Daniel Phelps place, be- tween Stockbridge and West Stock. bridge.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

W. Scott Rogers, the humorist of the House, president of the Bantam Anti. Friction Company is reported as con. templating the removal of his plant from Litchfield to Hartford, although Torrtngton is making strong bid fo1 it. Inasmuch the presence of an anti. friction plant in Torrington might tend to promote harmony between that burg and Winsted, it is to be hoped Hartford won't get it.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Bridgeport has gained 19,51S in population within the last year, ac. cording to the new city directory, and now has approximately 146,O00 in- habitants. The Standard predicts a population of 225, ,00o by 1926, and confidently prophecies that in the in. tervening ten years Bridgeport will overtake New Haven and become the largest city in the state. The growth of the Park City has certainly been phenomenal; and if its growth in grace has been in proportion to it's physical expansion it has robbed New Canaan of it's proud position as "the next station to Heaven"
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Candidate Hughes addressed an audi. ence of women as "Fellow Citizens. {" That would seem to even more than fully answer the suffragists' favorite conundrum, Are women people ?'
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

When the average man has some- thing to sell he finds that it's price is lower than it used to be, but the price of whatever he desires to buy has gone up about 300 per cent. Shore Line Times.
 That's only another way of stating it. The real fact is. he simply doesn't get as much for his money as he used tn
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
Congressman P. Davis Oakley

Congressman P. Davis Oakley, in his speech at the Swedish republican ban. quet at New Britain, said if Judge Hughes is elected, State Treasurer Fred Chamberlain, of New Britain is likely to be appointed Treasurer of the United States. MT. Oakley doesn't speak Swedish very we'll, but the uproarious applause that followed showed that hls hearers could understand him.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Again we are learning what arrant knaves and incompetent nincompoops those fellows are, who belong to the other political party.N
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

"This is the month for shooting stars, says an exchange. This may be the month for it. but we would ad. wise those who propose to shoot any stars in this region to fortify them selves with shooting license, and not shoot over posted territory.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

The hot and cold weather dog. day conditions have inspired the paragra. pher to trot out that old verse: @ "As rule, mans a fool;
 When it's hot he wants it cool
 When it's cool he wants it hot Always wanting what is not"
 However, in view of the sudden, radical, frantic and automatic switch. ing of the weather push h-buttons and the lightning changes of temperature that baffle all efforts at preparedness, it's high time to put the odium where it belongs:
 As rule, Old Probs fool Every time it's hot it's cool.
 When it's cool it's really hot
 Weather's always what it's not.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Somebody counted 180 automobiles passing the corner of Main and Rail- road streets in single hour, Sunday, travelling in all directions. With an average of three autos a minute it would seem that the billy cop might be filling long. felt want if he were returned to duty at that busy spot.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

A Pennsylvania man has been fined $10 for biting off cats tail. Doubt. less it was the high cost of living that drove him to the extremity.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
THURSDAY, AUGUST 17, 1918.

The real king and ruler is every man who sets aside the naive pas sions and self. interest of the con- mon life for the rule and service of the world. HI. G. Wells.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
Rated.

Mrs. Outlate-What became of the cuckoo clock? Outlate-The cat ate 1t. New York Swn.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Among the Austrians captured by the Russians was an actress who vas dressed in magnificent silk dress.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
MAILS CLOSE GOING

MAILS CLOSE GOING North East South West 9:55 a. m S15 a. m, $50 a. m 1920 a. m. z:16 D. m. 3:46 D. m. 4:36 D. m, 6.44 D. m.
 MAILS OPEN FROM
 North East South West 7:30 a. m. BOO a. m. 10:30 a. m. 800 a. m. 5:15 D. m. 11;00 a. m. 500 p. m. 4:25 D. m
 7:15 D. m. Mail closes on Route No 1, R. F. D. at 930 g. m., and return 3:30 D, m. For Southfied and Mill River, Mass, at 1. p. m.
 F. l.. ROBERTS, P. M
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
WONDERFUL MATHEMATICS,

A wonderful mathematical predic. tion" has appeared in Europe concern. ing the German Kaiser and the Austrian emperor, thus-taking Franz Joseph, of Austria:
 Born, 1880
 Ascended throne, 1848
 Age, 86
 Reign, 68
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
ONINIPOTENCE.
BY EMMA RoDEMEYER WAIT.

The hills, the vales, the atmosphere Proclaim the wondrous love Falling in ceaseless benisons
 From Him who teigns above. So faith and hope and love entwine About our lives alway, .e Drawing so gently to the land
 Of everlasting day. ,G.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Sara Bernhardt is coming over again, to give another in her series of supple. farewell engagements.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
THE EWS' AGENTS

Extra copies of The News are on sale at the o6ce of publication and at
 Dempsey's Drug Store, Canaan, Post Office, East Canaan Post Office, Falls Village, George T. Johnson's Store, Norfolk H. L.. Rood, Ashley Falls. A. l.. Dickinson. Salisbury.
 J. w. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
Cent-a-W ord Advertisements
 Minimum Charge D Gents
FOR SALE

FOR SALE have two fox hound pups. we'll bred, good looking. six months old, female spayed. Inquire for further particulars. John Wilkinson, Falls Village Conn,
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

Halve the total and you get 1916l Similar figures relating to the kaiser produce the same result, indicating that 1916 may be Hateful year for him. Which is all very wonderful, " without a doubt. But the same formula will produce results if applied to any other, potentate. Let's try it on Congressman F. Davis Oakley, presi- dent of the Bald. Head Club of America, thuswise:
 Born, 1860 Elected Pres. B. H. 0. of A., 1915 Age, 56 In office,
 3832 Now divide 3832 by 3 and we have 1916. the very year in which the fifth annual banquet of the polished organ. ization is to be held at the Allyn House. Isn't it not wonderful @
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17
MISCELLANEOUS

CLEANING, pressing and repairing reasonahly done. Clothing sent ny parcel post will be re. turp9d at my expense. Anna M. Tierney, East'CanRan
Connecticut western news., 1916-08-17

East'Canaan.
 PEABODY Rsfracting optielan win be at Mrs M. A, Halls, Falls Village. Aug. 23 and 24 and at Ford's Music Store, Canaan, Aug. %. 20 wAETED-The Grand Union Tea Co., would Be tho services of n hustllng energetic man to take charge of their business in Canaan and wAainny. Win pay good wages to the right party. Grand Union Tea Co, Derby, Conn.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1916-05-31
FOR RENT

FOR RENT-One apartment on
lower floor of Johnson apartments;
Immediate possession. H. R. John
son. 18-tf
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1916-05-31
De Soto

Especial to Times-Recorder1
De SOTO, Ga, May 31.-Miss Nita
blackburn, of this place, and Mr.. Lee
Bradley, of Leslie, were married last
Sunday afternoon at the home of the
brides sister, Mrs. Ike Wilson. A
host Of friends were present and show
cred congratulations upon them.
Mr.. and Mrs. c. c. Womack an
nounce the birth of a bright little
daughter Julia, on May 18th.
Mr.. and Mrs Hamlin Newton West
are the proud parents of young son.
Fl. n, ia, who made his arrival on
May goth.
Mrs. Allen Johnson has returned
hcme after two weeks stay with rela-
tjves in Cordele.
Mr.. and Mrs. R. E. Howe announce
the birth of baby daughter on May
18th. The young lady has been named
LYNNE Nanelle.
Mr.. M. C. Adams has returned to
his home in Dallas, and Miss Nellie
Morris to her home in Conyers, after
a successful year with the DeSoto
school as teachers. Mr.. Bonner, of
Bowden, and Miss Velma Stewart, of
IlYatesville, have been elected as
teachers for next term.
Misses Mary Ferguson and Florine
Scarboro, Messrs B. L. Carter and
Emmett Ferguson motored to Nash
vile Sunday, spending the day with
Mr.. Carriers parents.
Mrs. Marshall Poole and baby have
returned from a lengthy visit to Cor
dele.
Miss Aeolia Caldwell returned to
her home in Americas Monday, after
nursing Mrs. R. E. Howe for two
weeks
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1916-05-31

There is scarcely product you raise,
or that You use. but would be affected
is this petition should be granted.
They are too evidently trying to catch
you "a-comin' and a-goin ON what
you have to buy.
l trust the warning l have sought 20
give you will strike home. l cannot
too seriously impress the Importance
of the situation. Every other interest
except the farmers of Georgia, is well
organized and proposes to present
solid front at this hearing against the
rate increases asked for.
There is no question about the fact
that the Railroad Commission of Geor-
gia wants to be thoroughly acquainted
with the situation as it affects all in
terests. I believe it would be partic-
ularly glad to hear from you, the
formers of Georgia. You will be fail
irg in duty to yourselves if you
neglect the opportunity.
In conclusion, let me congratulate
you upon the rain coming as it did Just
in the nick of time. There is no doubt
about the fact that it means millions
in the aggregate to you farmers, and
! hope and trust crops throughout the
state will continue to show the good.
condition to which this timely rain
has brought them. J. D. PRICE,
Commissioner of Agriculture.