The Devils Lake world and inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1915-1920, 1916-10-05
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BAI1AM.

.''N Wei! Do DE-. ! mind !i.l 4 the e., story" said aid
Fnnega,n.." BALKAN was a highbrow
that knowed less than his. Jackass. He
took an office to. curse the people.
! The 'Jackass saved them. IT'S all Ia
Number T%winty-two.. Och. hone! IT'S
different these times. The Jackass..
knew better till. Balaam tanned him.
"'Tave me ride ye,' says Balaam, an
ri make We the biggest Ass In the
wurld.'
"'Great,' says the ASS; what dye
feedy
Pork says Balaam.
+ " me SAVIOR says the Ass. !
$50 Balaam mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
"'Phwat is it!' says Balaam: !
Snakes says the ASS; ut looks
like the jawbone Nv me mother ;
"'G'wan,' says BALKAN, hittin' The
ASS a clip, tits me furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwat's ut for?' axes the Ass.
cut deinds the nashun,' says Ba-
laam.
"'Howr says the ASS.
y "'Faith;' says BALKAN, 'ut takes q
bigger Ass than you to know that.
Lave 1t to Brine says BALKAN to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on medita-
tin.
"'Hee, haw,' says the ASS. ballin'
an kickin'.
"'What now1' says Balaam.
"'Divil a Jackass ever seer the like
says the ASS. ut could be a frog
says he, for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind; an it's mostly
mouth says the ASS. ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very Crooz Red, OF Niagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.
says he. 'Hivins. have I been drink
in?' screams the ASS to BALKAN.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
its mind he says. 'G'wan. where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, in the
service Nv Mankind says BALKAN to
the ASS, touching him up. An the
ASS shufles ahead, wavin' his ears in
admiration.
":Hee-haw! Hee-hawy says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
| "'Phwat's grippin' We now? says
BALKAN, im%pashunt like.
Ri 81 Dunno says the ASS. ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialist Crew. he says.
81 "'"Tis me Ship Bill says BALKAN.
Side step to the right he says;
side step to the left,' says he, vel
tin him. Back up says Balaam,
near wrenchin' off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
5 rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
5 liam wild a shower Nv blows; an the
Ass goes on thremblin'.
"'Wah-hee! Wah-hee! Wah-hee!
says the Jack, shyin' 80 he near
threw his rider.
":1Il learn ye to shy at me Naval
Bill,' says Balaam. lar-rupin' the
haste so he cud scarce stand.
eye can't pass ut wfdout- wearin
Republican Clothes says the Jack In
a coarse whisper.
aye ASS says Balaam. Don't y<
know that amy cloes is betther mol
n%akedness? G'wan,' says Balaam, In
tones Nv thunder So the poor haste
lopes on; limpin' wild pain.
1--WE not time to tell ye all the ad
ventures they had, but they KEEP or
over rough roads, now an her eros
sim a ditch on a wan term plank
which made ven BALKAN unaisy
Iviry time the Jack kicked, he go|
short ratiOns an a wallop. So wher
the Journey was near over, the pool
basic was all in, and far too proud t.
fight. Any Jack-Ass can be tina
when he's licked.
wan stormy night, the Jack BLOOMS
into a harmony like a Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gaspipe wild thu
feet.
"'Phwat ails We now? calls BALKAN
clubbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivver did I pass the like yell,
the ASS, sweating and thremblin'. %
says ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwa
is ut?' screams the ASS to BALKAN
feebly Vaughn his ears.
"tI dinno phwat ut is meself,' say
Balaam, but l know phwat ut's got
Balaam says.
"'Phwat?' axes the poor Ass.
"'Five hundther thousand votes
says BALKAN, wild a pious air. 'G'wan
ye big ASS, an doant ye argue vii
an Idaylfst,' says Balaaxn to the Ass
awe can't pass ut in the dark
pleads the ASS. Lave us wait 70
light means the Ass, weepin'.
"'Nix,' says Balaam. There's a he
time comm an the votesll spill,
do ye thurst for sixteen more year
in the wilderness? Giddap,' says h
'purgin't yer heart says BALKAN. I
iviry thought that's SELFISH says B,
laam, 'tor PERSONAL chants Balaam I