davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16

lea is decorating graves on the thir-
tieth of May"
"Still, in way, It's good thing that
Christmas Is more or less thing Of
the past" Zapp said, because when
you tried to collect a bill from some
body around Christmas time, it. didn't
make no difference If he was retired
from business except for a 10 per cent
interest In a bathing suit factory, he
would want you to wait till his Christ
mas rush was over. Also people didn't
give no orders because It was around
Christmas, Birsky, and just because 1t
was near Christmas and they claimed
they could use all the money they
could get, your creditors wanted you to
pay bills which you hardly knew you
owed on account Of not receiving the
second monthly statement yet. Fur
thermore If you owned tenement
house, you'd got difficulty collecting
the November rent because the ten
ants said 1t was so near Christmas, and
that's the way 1t went, Birsky. People
treated Christmas not as holiday, but
as an excuse. The wonder Is 1t amt
died out altogether"
"The wholesaler wouldn't miss 1t II
1t did," Birsky commented. Believe
me, Zapp, for every child that lays
awake the night before Christmas
thinking what his parents are going
to hand him the next morning, there Is
fifty manufacturers counting sheep
jumping over fences. trying not to
think what some Of their customers in
the retail drygoods trade is going to
hand them after the second of Janu-
ary. It don't require much water to
drown a shaky drygoods retailer. He
can sink like stone In two days rain
during the week before Christmas"
"Don't know it?" Zapp said. 'Tf
the Christmas presents that the whole
salers give by mistake to shaky retail
drygoods men was put on trees the
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16

way other Christmas presents are, they
would cover all the redwood groves In
California. But 1t amt the retailers
fault, Birsky. Sometimes the feller is
playing in hard luck like a merchant
like I used to sell goods to by the name
Felix Immerglick out In Cincinnati,
which a couple of years ago last
Christmas he specialized on sleighs,
skates and cheap furs, and from De-
cember 10 on they got such warm
spell In Cincinnati that the hotel keep
ers figured should they or should they
not open the roof gardens again. So
the following year Immerglick cut out
the sleighs and skates and laid In
bicycles, children's books and a very
attractive line of umbrellas, and I'm
merglick says that it's wonder with
his luck he didn't also buy stock In
q chain Of artificial ice factories, be-
cause on the day he received the goods
In November the thermometer goes
down to zero on him and stays that
way till a week after his next spring
millinery opening. Can you blame such
a feller that he settles with his cred
itors 80 cents on the dollarw
Listen, Zapp," Birsky said, "a 30
cent-on-the-dollar feller could always
pin his bust-up on either a warm
Christmas, cold Easter or an invalid
wife, whereas the figures show that
the average of real cold Christmases
amt 10 more than the average Of real
sick wives"
"Sure know, Birsky, but figuring
out the average is what has done the
most harm to poker, pinochle, the
Fourth Of July, Christmas and all them
things that former time people enjoyed
running chances on. Take, for In
stance. the Fourth Of July, and a lot
Of people which considers even safety
matches gefahrlich goes to work and
figures that out Of every million people
that shoots of hrecrackers, one and
seven hundred and fifty-two one thou
sandths people gets burned, so they
put the fireworks manufacturers out
Of business, and now instead of setting
Off fireworks people goes to the shore
or trolley parks on the Fourth; and as
soon as it gets figured out that Of ev-
cry million people that goes to trolley
parks and Coney Island. six and nine
ty-seven three-thousandths gets Ma
geasaure from eating frankfurters and
run over by trolley cars on the Fourth
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16

follow. "Former times If a retail dry
goods concern didn't got half their
salesladies faint on 'em every night
for two weeks before Christmas, their
creditors would come down on them
and ask them to discount their bills.
Nowadays If a cash girl gets a head
ache, that's big already"
Birsky nodded sadly
christmas is dying out" he de-
clared. "The people is getting too
wise, Zapp. 1t used to be that If you
wanted to push your stickers,-wheth-
er 1t was handkerchiefs, socks, neck
ties, oder gloves, all you had to do
was to wait till the first of December,
mark 'em up 80 per cent over the regu-
lar retail price for fresh goods, put
'em in red paper boxes. understand.
and your customers practically used
blackjacks on each other to get at the
counter where the goods was dis
played. Christmas silver articles was
also good sales. seen butter dishes
go like hot cakes, which the salesladies
was warned not to dust them Off NIT
feathers even, on account 1t might
scratch the silver plate and show the
brass underneath. But that's thing
Of the East now. And who done it,,
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
What to Give for Christmas.

Gifts for men: Tobacco Jars, ink
wells, shaving mugs, ash trays, match
boxes, combs, hat marks, handker-
chiefs, watch chains, fobs, coat hang
ers, hat brushes, clothes brushes, bath
robes, smoking jackets, pocketbooks,
bill files, cuff buttons. books, or sub
scriptions to magazines and farm pa
pers.
For women: Rings, chains, laval
licrcs, bracelets, hat pins. sleeve but
tons, manicure sets, jewel boxes, gilt
clocks. card cases, hat brushes,
combs, toilet sets, toilet articles and
perfumery, fountain pens, silk or en-
broidered waists. birthstone rings,
hand bags, pictures, mirrors, or bank
books and bank deposit.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16

Zapp? 1t was the feller that invented
the saying: DO your Christmas shop
ping early"
"who did invent it?" Zapp asked.
81 should know who invented it!"
Birsky exclaimed. "But whoever he
was, Zapp. he put bigger crimp In
the cheap handkerchief business than
the feller who invented rhinitis tablets,
because If you are doing your Christ
mas shopping arount the first of Octo-
ber when all them poor fellers that
runs summer hotels and bathing pa
vilions is saying to themselves: Now
1t gets warm Zapp, handkerchiefs for
colds are the furthest from your
thoughts. Also children whose moth
ers do their Christmas shopping in
September is apt to get school supplies
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16

public accountant, Birsky, figure that
If 90 per cent of Christmas shoppers
followed Miss Morgan's advice, Birsky,
the drygoods stores would shut down
around Christmas, and all them sales
ladies would not only take vacation
in the summer time, but in the winter
time also; and then the question is,
how Is them salesladies going to raise
money for their winter vacations?"
'Aiss Morgan would get up SUBJ
scription maybe" Birsky suggested.
sand the proceeds after the expenses
Of collection were deducted would sup
port twenty-three six hundredths of a
saleslady for COOS hours, Birsky,"
Zapp concluded, (which the trouble
with them people that figure out the
averages is that they don't consider
human beings as men and women, but
as fractions ausgereckoned to hun
dred thousandths yet. Also it's good
thing to figure out the averages on
the percentages Of people that set off
fireworks and don't get burned, and
the percentage Of people that it
wouldn't do a bit Of harm to IL they
bought once In while for somebody n
present useful or otherwise. In other
words, Birsky, If you're going to reck-
on up the averages on anything, the
best way is to figure how it will affect
one hundred one hundredths of the
people twelve months out of the year,
and then go to work and get up the So,
ciety for the Prevention of Prevention
Societies and limit the membership to
one hundred million Americans. Most
of US would join It,"
(Copyright.)
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
HRIsTMAs amt

HRISTMAS amt
what 1t used to
be-" Barnett Zapp
remarked, as he
sat opposite Louis
Birsky In Wasser-
bauer's restau-
rant.
"Sure I know"
Birsky s a 1 d,
spreading a slice
Of rye bread with
mustard as he
waited for an or
der Of kreploch
soup, with ge-
fullte tehpches tO
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
Sstsr
CIinuino to an Ideal.

'T told my boy that Santa Claus Is
only a myth"
''How did he take it?"
'He didn't seem much impressed. He
merely remarked that every great and
good man has to be subjected to some
kind of unfavorable comment"
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
"ThinkIng What His Parents Are Go
, Ina to Hand Him Next Morning."


instead of sleighs, because a shopper
amt got no imagination, Zapp. She
buys what's In season, and If she was
doing her Christmas shopping as early
as the Fourth Of July, understand.
she would come home with fireworks" !"
"Say," Zapp said, Tipping the fingers
of his right hand at Birsky. "storekeep-
ers amt allowed to sell no more fire.
works around the Fourth Of July. It's
against the law"
II know It," Blrsky continued, "and
II people couldn't shoot or firecrackers
around the Fourth Of July and couldn't
shop around Christmas, all It needs Is
that 1t should be suspended sentence
for eating turkey on Thanksgiving, and
the only pleasure we got left in Amer
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
The Brute.

The Brute.
whats the matter with young Mrs
GadderT"
"She's borken-hearted and says Mr.
Gadder no longer loves her"
'Why does she think thatw
"She wrote letter to Santa Claus
asking for n set of furs and gave II
to him to mall"
"Well?"
"And he mailed It."
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
Dont's for Parents.

Christmas week don'ts for pa
terfamilias: Don't open bureau
drawers. Don't look into clos
cts. When the collar button
rolls under the chiffonier or the
bed. don't pursue it; it is better
to let thy collar go loose than
to risk the premature revelation
of the Christmas socks, neckties
or lace curtains. Be blind, be,
blind-and again, be blind!
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16

vXYHEN Christmas comes. never
wv mind the cold.
I like to get up prompt an go
to school,
An do my sums,
An clean the walks 'thout waitin' to be
told
Though like sleddin' better, as rule.
Or buildin' forts But nothin' amt so
bad =
When Christmas comes.
When Christmas comes. I'd just as lief
give half
My cooky to the baby an take care
About the crumbs.
It's fun to make the little fellow laugh.
An don't mind his taggin' everywhere.
He can't help bein' little! I'm not mad
When Christmas comes.
When Christmas comes. don't forget to
give
My shoes a wipe. an scrub my ears
lot
Till my head huns.
An mother says. 'That's boys too good
to live"
But I'm not 'fraid of dyin'. cause I'm
not .
No different from always-only glad
When Christmas comes!
Abigail williams Burton. in December
st. Nicholas.
The L'Anse sentinel., 1916-12-16
A Popular Book.

A Popular Book.
Church-Have you given much at
tention to the books In evidence dur
ing this season.
Gotham-Oh, yes.
sAnd which do you consider the
most popular this Christmasw
"Oh, the pocketbook, by all means.
Thats What They VIII BE.
Mrs. Yeast-Going to do the stock
ing act this Christmas, dear7
Mr.. Yeast-Oh, Christmas stockings
be hanged
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-05-24

!
training room completely destroyed
the high school building at Berlin
erected in 1902 at cost of $45 900. The
insurance amounted to only $4,000. Al
though much new equipment and all
the school records went up in smoke
the classes will continue without
break, in churches and other build
ings.
-O-O-O-
Henry Jennson, a resident of Rock
ford, sojourned in Beloit to his sor-
row. The Illinois man came across
the line with well-flled purse, good
clothes on his back, happy mind and
sound body While in Beloit two
strangers accosted JennsOn and in
duced him to take walk, He was
attacked in a lonely spot and his
purse and good suit taken the thugs
leaving Jennson with bad scalp
wound. A complaint was made to the
police
-o-o-o-
Frank Billmayer of Superior, aged
So years, father of ten children and
carpenter contractOr, ran amuck
last week and shot his son Charles,
aged 10 years. When Mrs. Billmayer
rushed to the scene of the shot she
received a bullet in her breast. After
striking another child with the butt
of the revolver, Billmayer ran from
the house but was caught and arrest
! ed The son is in a critical condition
but the wife will recover. Insanity
caused by brooding over business
worries, is given as the reason.
-o-o-o-
Five year old Emma Ko1enski was
found five miles north of Rhinelan-
der by the sheriff and two hundred
men who ransacked the woods and
swamps around that city. Little En-
ma wandered away in the early morn
ing, her absence becoming noticed at
about 10 o'clock The searchers
found where the little girl had spent
the night in the woods and were even
tually guided to her by a bloodhound.
Twenty-four hours after her disap
pearance she was taken to her fran
tic parents, with her clothes in tat
ters and her hands and face bleeding,
but alive and well.
-o-o-o-
The city of Lacrosse has been in
quandary as the result of an appli-
cation for an injunction filed by
Thomas E. Wooley a contractor. La
Crosse has built four miles of bridges
and roadway across the Mississippi
river and it's several channels. Under
the law the state boundary is in the
middle of the main channel, which
washes close to the Wisconsin shore,
and it is maintained that the spending
of any money in Minnesota by the city
of La Crosse is unlawful. Notice is
given that if another dollar of city
money is spent on the roads or
bridges an injunction will be pro-
cured. One of the bridges is danger
Gus, and unless repaired it will be
necessary to close the road. Lacrosse
already had expended 100000 on the
road and bridges, and this investment
will be destroyed if a few hundred
dollars cannot now be spent for re-
pairs.
-O-O-O-
A modern sanitarium and school to
cost in the neighborhoOd of 100000
in the colony of the Seventh Day Ad-
ventists, will be established in Fish
Creek Valley, 20 miles from Lacrosse.
The Adventist officers of the Seven
Day Advent church of Superior have
been looking over various sections of
northwest with a view toward locat-
ing a spot for their proposed colony.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-05-24

Mrs. j. e. NOrmingtOn was agree
ably surprised recently when she re-
ceived through the mail package
containing watch she had lost in a
Milwaukee park twelve years ago. A
brief note accompanied the valuable
saying that the writer did not know
until recently to whom it belonged.
-o-o-o-
Delbert Shaft, 16 year old youth
employed by a Milwaukee department
store, left the wagon he was driving,
leaving a note saying that he had lost
the G. o. d. money and had been dis
charged. He advised a search in the
lake for his body The police found
Delbert in depot where he was pre-
pairing to board a train. He was ar
rested.
dynamite cap and a kerosene
lamp were fatal combination for
Edward and Victor Loberger, two
Oconto county boys, aged IL and 9
years, respectively. The boys found
the cap in field and carried it home
where, after supper they held it over
the lamp, ito see what it would do"
The resultant explosion tore off Ed
wards hand and lacerated Victor's
eye to the extent that the sight is de-
SPARED Of
-O-O-O-
Carl Cartwright, 65 years old, lived
alone in a small house on the Frank
Menier farm west of Wausau, Dur
ing a thunder storm the house was
struck by lightning and set on fire.
Cartwright was penned in the bed
room by the flames, but was dragged
out by neighbors. They were about
to save some of the furniture when
Cartwright warned them that there
was dynamite in one room. Soon
there was an explosion which scat
tered the burning timbers and debris
over the whole farm
-o-O-O-
Seven carloads of cattle have been
turned out to grass on Stockton Island
near Ashland where they will fatten
for the camps of the John Schroeder
Lumber company. The island is eight
miles long by three miles wide and
covered with rich clover and other
grasses. AS it is entirely surrounded
by water no fences are required and
the cattle have unlimited range. 1t is
said that they will be as fat as butter
by fall. There are also on the island
some hundreds of hogs running wild.
without shelter even in winter, which
the company uses to furnish meat for
its camps. Like the cattle, they are
allowed to shift for themselves, but
they increase in number and thrive
despite the inroads made upon them
by the camp cooks of 800 hungry men
who work during the winter.
-O-o-o-
Edward Loumis, of Milwaukee, aged
Is years, a negro, was sentenced to
Waupun for life following his convic-
ton last week in Judge Backus's Mil
waukee court. Loumis slugged and
killed George Sarkos, Greek porter,
and robbed the body of $50, using a
cast iron pipe to commit the deed He
seemed Indifferent until sentence was
passed when he wept bitterly. JOS.
Ryback, who MORALLY injured Paul
Kozzin at West Allis last December,
was sentenced on the same day to
serve fourteen years in Waupun. 1t
is said that Kozzin had helped Ry-
back in many ways and greeted Ry-
back in a friendly manner on Christ
was day when they met at the board
ing house. Ryback struck Kozzin
with a stove poker when his bene-
factor had his back turned. The lat
ter fingered for several weeks before
dying.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-05-24

the state. Also a school building
where one of the chief courses will
be farming. tract of 200 acres Of
the best farming lands in Lacrosse
county has been purchased, and an
option on 160 acres adjoining, has
been secured by them.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-05-24

They are represented by Prof. A. J..
HoIlock, Superior, one of the leaders
of the sect, who declares the location
was selected on account of it's wealth
of scenery along the fertile valley.
The colony plans to establish one Of
the most up to date sanitariums in
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-05-24

lTr. and Mrs. Albert Verhagen,
4enrv Johnson and Mrs. August
rundrow. all of Little Chute, were
oarIv drowned when the automobile
,ev we're riding in slid off slippery
al and turned turtle into the Fox
yer. pinning three of the occupants
der the car, on the rocks in the
fer. Mr.. Verhagen managed to ex-
cate himself and lifted the car SUI
ientIy to release the others, there
saving them from drowning.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1916-05-24

Two hundred and eighty-seven fires
were reported to State Insurance Com
missioner M. ]. Cleary during the
month of April. The total loss was
1882 .44O. In March there were 259
fires causing loss of $491,465. The
principal causes were: Chimney fires
81, loss $94,275; stoves and stovepipes,
80 fires, $26,SS5 loss; lightning p, loss
s39. $50: incendiary and suspicious
fires. II. loss S41,OO5; kerosene fires
10. loss $12,645. The largest loss dur
ing April was that of A. Grossenbach
company of Milwaukee, on April /,
the loss being 100000.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-09-08
A PICTURE OF HUGHES.

The New York World, which once
was outspoken in its admiration for
Mr.. Hughes, now declares that the
people do not know where Hughes
stands, or what he stands for. This
Wilson organ had no such criticism
to make when Mr.. Hughes was gov
ernor. The World said on May II,
1910: "He dictated no nominations
controlled no convention, trafficked in
no patronage, made no bargains with
officeholders. He has rewarded no
body for supporting him and punished
nobody for opposing him. What in
fluence he has welded over public
opinion has come through his appeals
to the voters themselves" That Is
the estimate of Mr.. Hughes given by
the World six years ago. 1t is a
pretty fair letter Of recommendation.
Could the World say as much for
President Wilson? Hardly, for the
president has done all of the things
from which the World absolved
Hughes.-Kansas City Journal.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-09-08

Mrs. Fred VOCAL is reported serious
ly i'll.
Miss Esther Malpass is home from
Petoskey.
Miss Marjorie Bowen returned home
from Flint, Tuesday.
w. j. Ellison returned home from
Escanaba, Wednesday.
Mrs. George Atkinson and daughter,
of Jackson are guests at the home OF
her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. M. Ruhling.
Miss Hilda Rundquist who has been
visiting at the home of her aunt, Mrs.
w. j. Ellison, returned to her home al
Marquette, Monday.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-09-08
m'kIMlErs WAR COST LESS
BL00DSHED THAN WILSON'S PEACE
BY Theodore Roosevelt.

- f"S0o0fS shSSoSvSfe
Under President Mckinley we
had a war with Spain. Under
President Wilson we are assured
that we have had "peace" with
Mexico. These are the words.
Now for the deeds. During the
war with Spain fewer Americans
were killed by the Spaniards
than have been killed by Mexi-
cans during the present peace"
with Mexico. Let me repeat
this. A greater number of Amer
leans have been killed by
Mexicans during these years,
when we are officially Informed
that we have been at peace with
them, than were killed by the
Spaniards during our entire war
with Spain. Moreover when the
war with Spain was through, it
was through. But peace still con-
tinues toNrage as furiously as
ever In Mexico. Nor is this
all. The instant effect of the
outcome of the war with Spain
was to put a stop to the dread
full butchery and starvation in
Cuba and the Philippines, and
the entry of both Cuba and the
Philippines on career of eight
cen years of peace and pros
perity such as they had never
known before In all their check
cred history. But during these
three years of Mr.. Wilson'S
peace" the Mexicans them
selves have been butchered by
their own bandits steadily and
without intermission; and MeXi-
can women and children have
died by thousands-probably by
scores of thousands-of starva-
ton, and of the diseases incident
to starvation. In other words,
Mr.. McKinley's war cost less
peace; and 1t reflected high hon
or on the American people;
whereas Mr.. Wilson's peace
has been one of shame and dis
honor for the American people,
and one of ruin and bloodshed
for the Mexicans.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-09-08
The President himself has tried t

The President himself has tried to
appropriate for his own advantage
the sentiment of America first" The
Democrats have tried to make his sup
port an act of piety, by adopting
"Thank God for Wilson," as a slogan.
Mr.. Hughes, with rare courage, frank
ness and penetration, is exposing the
flimsy foundation for the claims Of
Wilsonian infallibility. He is laying
bare n record of extravaganza, parti-
sanshlp, sectionalism, incompetence,
wrongheadedness, vaccillation and in
sincerity which destroys the attempt
to make a joss out of the President
The Democrats must come out of their
ecstatic trance and defend their stew
ardship. The President is to be put
on the stump. We are to hear some
thing beside Delphic prose POEMS
st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-09-08
Presbyterian Church Notes
Robert S. Sidebotham, Pastor.

Sunday, Sept. 10, 1916.
1920 a. m.-'The Church's unfinish-
ed Task.
11:45 a. m.-Sabbath School,
$50 p. m.-Christian Endeavor.
1880 p. m.-'Man's Relation to God.
Tuesday 1880 p. m.-Meeting of the
Church Cabinet
Thursday 2:30 p. m.-Missionary
Society meets with Mrs. w. p. Porter.
1880 p. m.-Prayer meeting.
Topics for the next three Sunday
evenings are The Teachings of Jesus:
Sept.10-'Man's Relation to God
Sept. 17-'Man's Relation to Man.
Sept. 24-'Man's Relation to the
World.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-09-08
First Methodist Episcopal Church
Rev. John Clemer

Rev. John Clemens, Pastor.
Sunday, Sept. 10, 1916.
1920 a. m.-Worship-"The House of
the Lord"
HAS a. m.-Sunday School.
$3.50 p. m.-Epworth League.
1880 p. m.-Worship, "The Lamp of
the Lord"
Prayer meeting Thursday evening
at 1880.
An adjourned meeting of the official
board to be held Tuesday at 7:30 p. m.