The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29

tbut, generally speaking, impossible.
Yet INSCRIPTIONS political managers
still find way to make money
talk in spite of all the watching
by men who believe that upon the
purity of the ballot depends the sta
bility of the republic.
If Wilson is re-elected-and Chair
man Mccormick is confident he will
belt will be by straightforward
means only. The democrats have no
slush fund. Every dime contributed
to their cause will go toward paying
legitimate expenses.
Four years ago 1898, 900 ballots were
cast for Wilson. If every man who
voted the democratic ticket were to
contribute 25 cents the total would be
Sl,o13 ,25O-a sum quite ample, if not
more than ample. But many people,
perhaps a great majority of them,
Will fail to respond at all. The aver
age will be brought up by the demo-
Gratis who give 81 up. The bulk of
the expenses will be incurred during
the month of October, and those ad
herents of the party who have not
contributed are being urged to do SO
without further delay.
u
large consignment of false teeth ad-
dressed to Germany and composed of
materials needed there, will be returned
to America The Britons must have sus-
| pected that the Teutons didn't want those
teeth primarily to chew with.
Pole was arrested in Birmingham for
selling machines for turning out crisp.
new 81 bills. The machines cost him 81
a dozen to make and he sold them fo,
slOc apiece. 1t was fine business while
it lasted.
The Danish Parliament is tired of talk
ing about the sale of the Danish West
Indies to Uncle Sam. 1t begins to look
as if that little deal will soon be con-
| summated
Mr.. Hughes recently returned from a
speaking tour covered with dust. At a
time like that he must long for the clean,
cool, sanitary supreme court bench
President Wilson has decided to inject
more pep" into the campaign. Some
thing should be done to keep the SOW
ereign voter from falling asleep.
Mexican bandits are reported to be
robbing trains and taking the shoes off
| passengers. The barefooted peon has de-
cided to improve his condition.
4 *
| Even if the Germans agreed to ouit
using those atrocious Zeppelins the al
lies would not be willing to give up their
own atrocious tanks"
X X
| Paris reports that winter supplies are
going to the front at the rate of 80 car
loads a day. Another Christmas in the
trenches
Royalty is on it's last legs in Europe.
say students of international politics.
How would you like to be crown
| prince?
Huntsville wants to see the sheriff VINO
captured Overton. Will this heroic Off
! feeo
| Still, waiting for the Robert E. Lee"
was more exciting than waiting for the
Bremen, which fails to arrive.
OH the platform with Mr. Hughes at
Pittsburg. Enough said
| General Won Hindenburg is a crusty
| iochiiS oiu leiioW. IHe ItuSSldHS IOunu
him to be crusty fighter
x *
Summer styles for women's clothes
! have converted the entire nation int
shock absorbers.
Il 4 X
Rather thoughtful of Venizelos to say
King Constantine may have a look in
| if he wants it.
y
The motion picture came along just in
time to prevent the cowboy from becom-
| ine extinct.
WORD TO THE WISE
From the Montgomery Advertiser
The two ex-Presdents will shake hands
| and call off the old feud in a few days
To Mr.. Taft we would say in admonition.
| Brother, slip a wide cut of sheet iron
under the front part of your shirt. The
| short rib and solar plexus are treasures
that should not be ema sculated, especially
in the case of fat men.