The Yale expositor., 1916-10-12
FINNEGAk'S f...LOS0PHY
~~O~O
Pitlless Publicity.

Neself could tell him. Where's Phi
less Publicity"T says Hughes. In the
Ash Can says |. Twas all right on
me stump but I'm Washin'ton It's
differ The Harp that wanst through
TrentOn's halls'-I name Tumulty.
Win he bursts into song now he picks
his chune!
"'Tis not that Prisidint Wilson is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pltiless. 'Tis like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
tn illyfant, but he has mintal res'va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 1t is wild Wilson. He's sOf'ned
the hard heart iv 'Pitiless Publicity
How about the PostmastersT axes
the refawrumers Wen niver tell ye,'
says the C'mishun. For whyr says
the League. 'T'wld embarss tn Ad-
ministhrashun,' says the Cmishun.
And the people laughs. 'Ye fred tn
Hid Nv the Cinsus,' says Hughes. 'Ye
lie says Redfield. He raysined wild
out bein' axed,' says he. Ye lie YER
SELF says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an We gev me place to a
politician says Durand. Ixac'ly fwhat
said yells Pink Whiskers, I was
goin' to fire We anyway, but / niver
axed We to raysine,' says Pinky. An
tho people roars.
"'Tell us about all thin Dishurvin
Dimmycrats,' says the people. An
Washin'ton is swep' be storm iv
silence.
But doan't ye think there's no pull
licity at al. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet. too.
"'Well grab some land in Yinzu
eely.' says the Ambassydure.
'tem'priIy,' says he. Yen not says
Teddy, yen agree to arbitrate,' says
he, or he says, in tin days Dewey'll
be there says Teddy.
"'Me Ryle Masther will niver con
STINT says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy. I'll sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. we
agree says he,-an' divll bit did We
know how II was for a dozen year.
wen have Ferdy Carey alive, o.
the Bashi Bazook dead says TEDDY,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says ON demand Nv the State DepaN-
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
How is 1t now? The greasers
slaughtered twinty at Sanity Isabel. An
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines, Twinty Americans killed. they
says The Prisidint Calm, says they.
'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays GOiuf,'
says the headlines An the paper
goes on;
1.-THE Prisidint's appytite at break
, fast was good tn leader Nv the no.
shun gettin outside iv' grape fruit,
bacon an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Win Docther Grayson announced the
bill iv fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
1.-THE Prisidint Is sOlvin In privacy
the fateful question, "Will me throat
last1" The answer Is waited wild few.
erish anxiety
"Mondah, the papers says 'Nashun-
al Disaster2 Sore Throat Feared Pan
ic at the Capital. The Prisldint Calm.
CONSERVATION was spread among
all classes today bel the report that
the Prisidint awoke with sore throat.
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
talk iv appintin day iv prayer. 1t
II hoped that Senior re-ye-on-though
will claim that the dead Americans
raYsisted ixicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis,
The Prisidnt made but wan remark
"Av they'd not been there they'd not
Nv. been kilt"
"Choosdah, they says, Hope revives.
No sore throat. Bitten by insect.
prlsidint calm. All Phrases ~ Mat
ther to be considered.
1.-THE anxiety In the Capital was re-
layed today be the followln' bulletin:
"'"The Prisidint has a slight per-
fOratiOn in the cuticle over the infery-
ure maximary caused by insect bitin'
him whin asleep. The patient was too
proud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson."
cit is reported also that Gineral
Scott will 90 TO the border to bury the
dead, and apologize to the Insurgents.
He will axe CarranZy, whether he wud
accept loan If offered. This is con-
sidered the thrue sutton Nv the diff
Guilty
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in, Thursdah he writes a note and
Gineral Scott starts for the border.
Fridah the headlines says Peace In
Europe near. Prisidint studyin' terms.
VIII he stop the war? Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
"But we're comforted be bein' towid
the Prisldlnt will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah, he's considerin' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he ad-
vises Grandmothers about suckin'
eggs And another crisis is past,
$50 1t goes ivry day. AS was say
in, there's a'plenty publicity, but tits
not the brand iv 1912"