The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1916-11-02
FlNNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry-G Co. Round.

Path an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. -Four year agone he was agin
it, for it was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he is for it, that immortal
instrument has also changed it's
mind. He makes me head shwim.
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passytists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been OF
the Merry-go-round. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"God bless Se-ye're a good man.
but We make me dizzy says Bryan.
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
MIN for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' We says Wudthrow
THROWN him a Cocked-Hat Nv the vim
tage Of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL says Garri-
son. Ifow does Il suit?' he axes.
"Fine.' says Wud,hrow. 'barrin' q
few changes Yen redraw it, he
says. 10 provide says he. 'volun-
tary universal service in a Federal
Milishy,'N says he, controlled be the
states says he; AN recruited be
spiritual %com-pulsion,' says he. 1t
shud be nayther too large nor too
SMALL say he; or maybe BOTH he
says; AN the ammynition,' says he.
must be nayther too much nor o
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore decide the daytales, for tits me
i'ocry TO kape an open mind says
WudthrOw.
stop the music and lave me off,
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
/? Garrison means. layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye.' says WudthrOw. I've n ncar-reul
raygri, at losin' you.' he says. And as
Garrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays Il side step.
"'lNwllut iy the Navy?' says Kitchin.
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great lluylist. 'cx-
crnt In Mnntany, where we need no
Navy "a he, and in st. Iouey,
where it shud be the biggest in the
world. Well be hone e~xthravngant
like thin Republicans says he. 80
here's the Dimycrat bill yell pass
says he.
"'l'ut this same is the liaypubli-
cams BILL says Kitchin starin'. 'Ye'l
go an pass it, says 1Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Hoo4y,' says the bl;,cl;
Republicans votin' for the bill. no
dream says Kilcllin. IT liver
drank, III fink | vas hoozesl.' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off.
GLOW about the Army biDy axes
Hay.
"'Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd,' SAWS
Wudihrow, wild heroic r%is'lution in his
eye.
~ have here a bill,' says Hay. :nrn.
vidin' for an increase Nv five hundther
men a year for twinty year, he says;
AN amynishun for six hours acksllun.'
he says, twill make us safe from
M~addygasl<er. measles, m%uckrakin'.
milit-rism and marital intidelity.' II"
says. AM we'll catch Willy before he
dies av he doan't die before we catch
him says Hay.
"Elnbrace me- says Wilson. Oh
HaY--aftller all preparedness is Il
matther " the heart an moi of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give y;
a job?' he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'pivil IL wan says Hay. pThin.'
snys Wndthrow shaktn' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, :for yer mlrl-
"tic service in so brayely sipportiu'
me %l"'liries.' he says. lin all their
phrases he says, 4 make u Judge "
ye'he,' says he, AS well as yer rrind
that We put in the Joker says the
rrisidint. 'H"wly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Ph'what does this mean at all
at all? they axes. I've the wan
'hrack mind says the President. AN
yc go ull through me train " Though,
i'efrre ye come 10 the purk car: say.
he. Are We on? axe the Apostle is
Common Counsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors. fall
ing Off. An the Merry-Go-Rpund plays
a Wilson Waltz. (Which We kuoiw.
lawn, is a step forward, two sters
back, hesitate an sidestep). An IN
lnnlty goes out to spread the glatl
'idin's that the preparation p'rade will
he led be the President in person.
''How Ices he save his face?" asked
Malumphy.
vivid his mouth" responded Finne.
gan dryly.