The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-17

over the country begging for votes
would lose dignity. And while Mr..
Wilson cares less for official conven-
tons than most of his predecessors,
he is unquestionably right in electing
to lead quiet life after Congress ad-
journs. He will not even receive poll
! teal delegations at his autumnal home,
Shadow Lawn"
| But there will be no lack of snap
in the democratic campaign. There will
be orators in plenty and barbecues in
every section. In the large cities
there will be demonstrations and
parades. And as for literature it will
be distributed in carload lots. Presi-
dent Wilson's eloquence never fails to
delight, but this is one of the times
when it will be in accordance with
good taste for his speeches to be made
| by proxy.
! The report that President Wilson might
use soldiers to run trains doubtless orig
mated in the brain of some imaginative
reporter. A first class fighting man
| would make poor showing in an engine
cab, even if an engineer could be found
to do the important work.
x
The Italian navy is minus battleship
dreadnaught's kitchen. When certain
kinds OF Italian dishes are being pre-
pared there is always danger of spon-
taneous combustion.
Mr.. Jess Willard Iaments that his pu-
| gilistic fame keeps him away from his
home and his family. Not at all. 1t is
merely Jess's desire to keep on the trail
of the almighty dollar as long as there
is one in sight
Just above an advertisement stating
that pawnshops will close at p. m. The
Age-Herald announces, Other sports on
Page TO- Well. sports and pawnshops
are more or less related
Commenting on the passage of the ma
val appropriations bill, Mr.. Kitchin said,
And yet they say we are sane and pa
friOtir he Of hot
bill is the very thing that proves it.
Mr.. Babe" Ruth, the baseball pitcher,
we understand, is not soft" person
with penchant for wrist watches, al
though somebody has wished on him
chorus girls name.
head waiter may be more or less IA
nous. but he has never truly arrived
vertising a fashionable brand of ciga-
rettes.
If Villa is really directing the move
evident that he is taking precious good
care not to stop any bullets himself
Ensley doesn't seem to care whether it
is vaccinated or not Ensley always was
ar independent sort of town. and didn't
take kindly to being annexed.
manufa cturer advises soldiers along
the border to put his foot powder in their
shoes. But healing guardsmans feet
won't cure his nostalgia
Vaudeville performers lead a hard life,
and not the least of their troubles is
the cub reporter who pans" them in
an effort to be funny.
Another reduction in the price of crude
oil is announced. Does anything like
that ever happen to olive oil, the one
best bet for salad dressing?
Mrs. Lansing motors with rather
fluffy looking dog, but the Secretary is
not the sort of man who will act as valet
to his wife's poodle.
A speaking tour may be considered I'M
digrified for the President, but not for
the man who is ambitious to succeed
him.
New York's theatres are opening re-
CARELESS of the heat. Stage folk don't
mind That puts more pay days in the
year.
The new President of Paraguay is
going to have an easier time holding
down his job than the new President of
China.
Josephus Daniels denies that we have a
hltless navy. That's encouraging, but
still not convincing.
DOWN CAME GARDEN, ROSES, ALL
From the Kansas City Star
The excursion boat from Chicago to