davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
LUKE M,LuKE SAYS

Another liar is the amrried man who brags about his self-control. His wife does the controlling.
 Maybe the reason why we say 'As smart as steel trap is because steel trap knows when to shut up.
 It must have been a cynical cuss who first referred to doctors work as practice"
 Cheer up. Maybe if you had your own way you would be in trouble all the time.
 Many a girl who couldn't manage a skillet inagines that she can manage a husband.
 A woman imagines that she hasn't said anything until she has talked at least a half an hour
 Some men have so much confidence in other men that they would try to tell a mans name by the initials carved on the handle of the umbrella he is carrying.
 The longer you live in this world and the more suffering you see. the more you get the impression that it is the people who have least to complain about who do the most kicking.
 Two days of marriage do more to get a fellow and a girl acquainted with each other than two years of courtship. Of course you can find errors in news papers. But you would never be in trou- ble if you were half careful about what you say as the newspapers are. A woman is just crazy over a new hat or a new husband for little while But the novelty soon wears off. Why is it that man will treat a new acquaintance with a lot more consdera- tion than he will an old friend? A man cant make his ankles exciting by displaying them as far up as the knees. But it is different with girl Most of us practice economy by going without a lot of little things that we need so we can have one big thing that We don't need.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
Education q Legacy

There is only one way to relieve the crying need of funds for schools at this time,' said Commissioner John R. Horn ady. That is for the voters of this county 10 put their shoulders to the wheel and carry the S-nill tax for Jeff ferson county, which will be voted upon on February 6. If this is done 1t will add greatly to the revenue of the city and will help us to adjust some of the crowd ed conditions at present existing in every school in the city.
 Each year the enrolment of the chil- dren is greater. The parents are com mencing to realize that nothing is quite so beneficial as an education for their children. It is the one legacy that can not be taken away, stolen or lost. An education lasts the life of the person receiving it. I feel sure that the cleo ton on the 3-mll school tax will be overwhelmingly in it's favor, but we cam not urge it's passage too strongly"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
HOTEL LOBBIEs
Tired of the War

Perhaps it is too much to hope for right TOW, but if peace should be de- clared it would certainly be a great re- lief" remarked Percy Brewer of Bir- mingham.
 ''The price of iron would probably be considerably reduced, but this, in my opinion, would be moro than made up for by the reduction in food prices and the market quotation on other commodi- ties in general use would drop consid- erably.
 An early peace would catch the cold storage men on the wrong side of the market, and would cause weeping and gnashing of teeth among the men con- trolling large quantities of food, much to the edification of the housewife and working man. am for peace. Let it come. The sooner the better"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

Colfax-Pop 1.O49. On Red River,
 20 miles northwest of Alexandria, La.
 Ky & Nav. Co., R. R. Steamboat traf-
 fc. Tel. Exp. Bank, Sawmill. Cattle.
 hogs, hay, corn, potatoes. peanuts,
 fruits, mellons, cotton, &c., produced.
 Agricultural school From Ayers
 Newspaper Directory.
 Coifax, La, Special to the New York
 World.
 OT1HROUGH the courageous influence
 of the women of Colfax--than
 S whom there are no better in the universe-this town can at last hold it's head up among de- cent people and bravely defy any criticism that might be excited by residents in other towns that have abso- Iptelv not as much reason to be proud of themselves as Colfax has to be proud of itself.
 It is to the lasting glory of Colfax that it's women residents, scandalized and made to worry by the actions Of some of the men who live here when a carnival company came here re- gently, effected last night the passage of a city ordinance prohibiting the performances here of circuses, street carniyals, vaudeville acts and min st1el entertainments whose appeal in even the slightest degree depends on the presence of women in the exhibitions.
 The way some of the citizens of Colfax' particularly some of the married men, acted when the last show came here was the last straw. Men who had acquired the art of freedom from embarrassment by attending other shows where women
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
Workimg For a
Greater South

M9TGalEGV 9WAS1A
 A SPIRIT of cooperation pervades EA the Southern Commercial con- gress now holding it's eighth annual convention at Norfolk, and the illu- minating discussions by representa- tive men of the country should be fol- lowed by practical results.
 When the third annual meeting was held in Mobile it marked distinct awakening of the south to it's splendid opportunities and larger realization of all sections to the vastness of the south's undeveloped resources. Presl- dent Wilson was a guest of the South ern Commercial congress on that oc- casion and his presence there and his speech, in which he disclaimed any idea of making war on Mexico or hav- ing any notion of territorial expansion southward, were of far-reaching sig n;fjcance. From that time the influ ence of the organization has in creased. Year by year it's mission has been more appealing to southern peo- pie themselves and it's activities more convincing to the people of the north
 A greater south means a greater nation. This sentiment was the key rote of the opening days session at Norfolk. As the sixteen southern states making up the congress have many agricultural and industrial problems in common, there should be more genuine cooperation than has been the rule in the past. But if noth- ing else comes from this years meet ing than a broadening of the south's vision and a strengthening of the south's movement for crop diversified ton it will have been we'll worth while.
 The year 1917 should be a record year in development all through the south and no doubt wherever the con- gress meets a celebration of the strides that have been made will be in order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
From the Montgomery Advertiser

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 0R 7E are prone to think Of Marx
 wv Twain as m man aa.sa who ,on,ant naa the te face any personage and feel at home, and it is therefore mildly shocking to learn that the author became rattled III ene presence of the German Kaiser.
 We learn this fact from the Kaiser hiiii- self. who was talking to Professor Al phonso Smith, Roosevelt exchange pio' lessor at the University of beriii 1elo-11 and lately distinguished as 8 oioe rapher of o. Henry. Professor oini'A came to know the Kaiser ana tie iaio erin quite well while in Berlin' anu iis formed a liking for the German Enperoi which is lasting, albeit Snnen iS
 ally in his war sympathles'
 In m interview Professor SHlith sses an interesting sidelight on the haisei personality, one of the most ihteres.n's personalities of the age. In castins thae sida,;gbt. Professor Smith, reciting an ih- .o.,.;a,v he had with the Kaiser. says:
 .He reads Mark Twain. or hao reao him and he enjoyed him. but he sald that when he met Mark Twain It was or,v with the geratest difficulty that he c,uld get him to talk at all.
 what was the matter with the Ameri- can philosopher and story teller? This is !. wholly unexpected revelation. We are not su, uN*nt our recollection is that it
 wac AIr. Bryan who said that no orator a,.r hecame so seasoned and toughened as a speaker but that now and then he was subject to stage fright. We knew of n old minister once who said that while be had officiated at countless marriages he had never performed such ceremony without experiencing stage fright" No doubt that is exactly what ailed Samuel |I, Clemens when he called on Wilhelm. rt may be that Clemens had no such ex- ,erience with any other European per- sonage who received him. and Clemens was long a European favorite.
 Professor Smith makes other interest ing remarks about the Kaiser The Elm peror, for example, learned to speak Eng fish before he did German and has re- qulred his children to do the same thing which sounds extraordinary. to say the least. Tnc Kaiser reads books in Eng fish, very often reading storieS aloud to his family. He particularly admires the American short story. "The Americans
 know how to plunge into a short story"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
Christmas on Border

"It commence to look as if the boys on the border are going to eat their Christmas dinner as soldiers of Uncle Sam," said Frank Flynn. "A great many are still of the opinion that the majority of the troops will be back in time to sit down at the table with their home folks Christmas, although I fear their hopes twill not materialize
 Things seem to have warmed up a bit in Mexico again. The renegade Villa is at his murderous work again, and con ditions in Mexico must be beyond de- scription. This tends to keep the boys on the border.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
Fireuaaen And Policemen
 Deserve More Pay

WHILE Birmingham is not actu-
 w ally facing "walkout" of it's firemen and policemen, unless an in- crease in wages is granted the situa- ton is quite serious. There seemed to be, among the firemen, at least, ten dency to deliver an ultimatum to the city commission. President Ward, in his reply, made manly speech, praising the fire department for it's efficiency and granting that the men deserved higher wages to meet in- creased living expenses, but pointing out at the same time that there is at present no legal way to raise the ad- ditional money needed. The city can- : not go into debt for current expenses.
 However, meeting of the commits sion will be held this morning and it is hoped that some method will be devised for acceding to the requests of the firemen and police. If the in crease cannot be granted immediately, both departments will doubtless be willing to wait a short while until some plan is devised for their relief. The spirit of the commission is one of sympathy and understanding. It is anxious to do all it can and in the shortest possible time.
 Both the fire and police depart ments are being operated on reduced salaries and with fewer men. This not only necessitates longer hours and harder work, but the cost of living at present is such that supporting a fam, fly on $80 a month is almost an i'm possibility. One fireman who said hi; toes were out of the only pair of shoes he possessed strikingly illustrated the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
NO DELAY

"old Father Noah had the fight idea. When he became convinced that pre- paredness was the thing. he didn't stand around talking about it. He went to york;
 "True enough. But you must remember that old Father Noah didn't have to wait weary weeks and months while appro- priation bills were being put through Congress"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A MATTER OF MOODS

A fellow meets
 Along life's way With many scenes,
 Both grave and gay. But often when
 He's out of sorts The merry quips
 And gay retorts Of others vex
 His weary heart And make him want
 To dwell apart Tn solitude.
 At other times, His soul elate,
 He bravely climbs Life's rugged slope
 And jests the while, But those who hear Refuse to smile, Till, waxing wroth, He soon desists And rails at them
 For pessimists. Which merely proves This hoary truth: The oldster and
 The callow youth Who meet and mix
 With other men Must stimulate
 Cheer now and then, Fen though they feel Quite otherwise, For thus it is,
 When fortune tries, That friends are made And heights are won And this old worlds Hard work is done.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
GOOD ADVICE WASTED

From the New York Herald.
 The Life Extension institute issues statement advising girls and young wom- en to go to bed early every night, to shun cake and in no circumstances to eat ice cream. They will be glad to follow this advice. beginning on the same day they stop talking about clothes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

dom from the strict discipline of the academies, they did not forget that they were wearing the uniform which repre- sents the authority and power of the United States, and which commands re- spect from those who wear it as well as from those who are defended by it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
THE HOME BRAND

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 The Age Herald notes with enthusiasm the advance of democracy in. Great Britain But it is the advance of de- mocracy in America that causes our en- thusiasm to form into restless geysers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
IN DRYEsT GEORGIA

From the Houston Post
 A moonshiner has escaped from the fed- eral prison in Atlanta. There is more joy in Georgia over one moonshiner thai escapeth than over ninety-nine who have never been captured
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

plight most of the married firemen and policemen are in.
 The Age-Herald sincerely hopes that speedy relief will be found for both departments. They have done splendid work under great disadvan- tages. We have one of the most eff cient fire departments in the country and the work of our small police de- partment in maintaining excellent or der over a radius of more than 50 square miles inspires admiration.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
GUESSED WRONG

Two sober citizens met on stree; in Babylon.
 You and will live to see the day when this dancing crazo win end" .&id the first sober citizen.
 T don't doubt it," answered the SOC. ond sober citizen. '-rhe world will soon outgrow such madness"
 And that was gns years before the Castles took New York by storm.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
QUITE A DIFFERENCE

Did understand you to say that young Dubson is resourceful?"
 Not exactly. His inherited resources are enormous, but he is so lacking in resourcefulness that he can't dress him self without the assistance of a valet"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
A MOMENT OF Fur1L1rY

Scientists can do almost anything nowadays"
 Their achievements are truly remark able, but when I observed a noted bioio- gist chasing his hat down the street yes terday vas struck by the fact that even scientists are not omnipotent.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
IPIam to Illurr0inae
Washington Mogauraenae

WV S1SAA4AA$ VoGG IVAOGlGlIIlGlGG THE proposal to illuminate Wash
 S lngton monument with four great searchlights should prove na- tionally popular, although, as the Washington Star points out, a more effective lighting system should be provided
 A bill has been introduced in the House of Representatives to install four searchlights. It should be amend ed so that the towering white shaft of the monument may be outlined from top to base by series of lights sim liar in design to the incandescent bulbs with which the towers of expo- sition buildings are Illuminated.
 According to the Star, search light already plays on the monument, directed from one of the Washington hotels. Far more striking effects could be obtained by using the method suggested. At short distance the ] full grace and symmetry of the shaft would b. brought out, making it a landmark not only by day, but by '.iglt r- well.
 Now that the Statue of Liberty has
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

BEGINNING THE DAY O Love that will not let me go. rest my weary soul in Thee; give Thee back the life ! owe, That in Thine ocean depths It's How May richer, fuller be.
 --MathesOH.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
WORDSWORTH

By William Watson. A hundred years ere he to manhood Song from celestial heights had wan dered down, Put off her robe of sunlight. dew and flame, And Gonned a mcdish dress to charm the town. Thenceforth she but festooned the porch
 of things Apt at life's love, incurious what life meant. Dextrous of hand, she struck her lute's
 few strings; Ignobly perfect. barrenly content
  The human masque she watched. with In whose clear shallows lurked no
 trembling shade; The stars, unkenned by her, might set
 and rise, Unmarked by her. the daisies bloom anc
 fade. The age grew sated with her sterile wit. Herself waxed weary on her loveless
 throne. Men felt lifes tide, the sweep and surge
 of it, And craved a living voice, natural
 tone. In elvish speech the dreamer told his
 tale Of marvellous oceans swept by fatefu
 wings The Seer strayed not from earth's hu-
 man pale But the mysterious face of common
 things He mirrored as the moon in Rydal Mere Is mirrored. where the breathless night
 hangs blue: Strangely remote le scc;Gs and won
 drtrs near And by some rAl iless difference born
 an W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

stfIl. in thy right hand, carry gentle peace. -Corioian"s'
 *
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
MOVED TO TEARS

Pardon my emotion.' said the sym pathetic man. T have just listened to an affecting story"
 ''reli me about it."
 T overheard woman on 8 trolley car telling another woman about having worn the same hat for three years The tones of her voice were heart-rending. haven't been so deeply moved sincs starvation was first reported among the Belgians.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
TRIED AND TRUE

"The ballot box is the symbol of de- mocracy." "But there are other symbols" For instance?" "The soft felt hat, the turned down collar, the string tie. the flowing coat and thes baggy trousers
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13
PERSONALITY OF THE KAISER

said the Kaiser. We Germans are too long, -winded" He subscribes to Harper's Magazine. He frankly admires Amer ica"-or did then. He has Ian immense and rather romantic interest in this coun- try" and would like to visit us, only the German jaw does not permit 1t. Amer ica holds in his mind the same romantic position that the idea of monarchy does in our minds" says Professor Smith. T mean that the average American goes for romance to stories of monarchy, but that the Kaiser, being used to the mon- archial idea. finds his romance over here"
 It may be, however. that the Kaiser has changed his mental attitude toward us in these six years since he expressed himself to Professor Smith,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

TELEPHONE Bell (private exchange connecting all departmeDts) Main 49OO.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

Entered at the Birmingham Aia'' postoffice as second class matter uh- lier act of Congress, March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-13

been given up-to-date illumination, its most famous rival in America should be improved in the same way. It would be patriotic thing to do and would make of this mighty shaft at night one of the most unique spec tacles in a land where electricity has already achieved lighting effects of transcendent beauty.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-09-09
rREAowELL NOTES.

Mrs. Charles Hayes is visiting friends in Trcadweu this week from her new home at Speel River where sine and her husband will be located for the winter. Mrs. Hayes is very enthusiastic about the outlook there and reports that the few pepona who live there are comfortably lo- cated in strictly modern houses.
 Mrs. William Franks has just re- turned home from a visit to the States.
 V. P. Cooper. the blind phrenolo gist. has asscnted to give another lecture at the Treadwel club Sun day evening.
 Wednesday. September goth, a club dance will be given in the dane ing hall.
 The same pictures which were pat on last night in the hall will be shown again tonight.
 The Board of Club directors will hold their regular meeting in the Treadweu Club Monday afternoon.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-09-09
DOUGLAS MAN WHO WENT TO
 WAR MARRIED
Dan Cupid Captures a For mer Miner and Turns Him Over to a
 Woman
BATTLE SCARRED VICTIM

DOUGLAS. Sept. 9.-W. Alsdorf, who went from Treadwen to the European war when it broke out, has written his friends on the Island that after braving all sorts of trials and tribulations at the front, being wounded and then returned to Can ada. has finally decided that married bliss is reasonable and he has joined the ranks of the benedicts.
 MT. Alsdorf for several months, following his return from the battle fields. has been at Calgary where he has been connected with the hos pital and employment agencies. Clippings enclosed in the letter tell Of the wedding as follows:
 Within the past three months lit- tie Dan Cupid has shown that where the Germans fell down he conQuers and on Monday afternoon he added another capture to his list in the person of Pte. William Alsdori, who fought in the ranks of the 72nd High landers in the first battle of Ypres. and who is now assistant secretary of the military hospitals commission for Alberta. At St Barbaro's church at 3o'clock the ceremony took place. and by Maj. G. H. Hogbin, chaplain for military district No. IS, Miss Katehrine ]. Harrison, fifth daughter of the late Alfred Harrison. Der wicl,-on-Tweed. England, was made Mrs. Alsdorf. the youthful bride, be- ing given away by Judge Winter, as- sisted by Lieut-Col. A. w. Pryces- Jones. and among those present be- ing r. M. Tweedie, MLA, and A.A. McGinivary. Mir Alsdorf went out with the first contingent and did his bit" well until the charge through the Bickshoots wood when, after ridding Germany Of one eGrman ofi- cer. he was blown up by a shell, partial paralysis of one side setting in. He is now making a big success of his work as head of the returned veterans in the Calgary district and is not only highly efficient but is de- aervedly popular with the returning veterans, whom he thoroughly un- ierstands because Of his having been one Of them.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-09-09
TREAowELL scHooL NOES

TREADWELL, Sept 9.-For hav- ing the greater representation of parents at a recent meeting of the Treadwen ParentTeachers' associa- ton. the primary department of the school has won the right to have a certain beautiful picture which has been ordered by Mrs Tascher hung in their class room during the month of October. The location of the picture whether in the primary or in the senior room, will be deter mined at the end of each month by the number of parents at the Ass citation meetings.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-09-09
SCHOOLS OF JUNEAU HAVE LARGE NUMBER
 NOW IN ATTENDANCE E

The total registration for the Ju- neau Public Schools to date is S3S pupils. distributed. 77 in the high school and 25G in the grade school. The total registration is not as yet complete on account of the measles which is keeping several children from attendance. It is stated that at least 12 school children are being kept from enrolment in the schools through sickness
 The pupils of the high school are distributed as follows: six seniors, twenty-three sophmores, twenty-five juniors, and twenty-three freshmen, making 77.
 The grade school pupils are dis trlbuted among the grades with S7 in the first grade. 31 in the second. 91 in the third, SS in the fourth. and 8S in the fifth. S6 in the sixth, 8l in the seventh and 19 Tn the eighth.
The Alaska daily empire., 1916-09-09
YOUTHS KILL POLICEMAN

CLEVELAND, O., Sept. 9. - ended running duel between Po- liceman Harry Sayle and two youths, when the former was shot and killed this afternoon The youths had fired upon an auto mobile party.