Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1916-10-19
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
PltiIess Publicity.

Il see MIR. Hughes wud like to know
sfwhat's to come. 10 'PItiless Publicity
/, Meself could prt1 him. Where's "Piti-
less Imblicity"T says Hughes. In the
ASH, Can, snys l. T"was nil right on
the stump. but In Washin'tOn It's
differ. The Harp that wanst through
TrcntOn's halls'--I name Tumulty,
Win he bursts into song now lie picks
his chune!
"'Tis not that Prlsidint Wilson is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pltiless. Ills like the Show
man. He tells We all. an more, about
tn illyfnnt, but lie has mIntal res'va-
shunc about tie spotted baby.
$50 It Is wild Wilson. He's sof'nedi
the hard heart Nv 'pitiless Publicity.
How about the Postmasters? axes
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell ye,'
says the C'misllun. For whyy says
the League. '1"wid embar'ss TIL Adj
mlnisthrashun,' Says the C'mishun.
And the people laughs. Re fired til
Hid tv the Cinsus.' says Hughes. 'Ye
lie says Rcdficld. He raysined Wild
out bein' aXed. says he. 'Ye lie yer-l
self says Durand. 'Ye towd me ye'd
fire me. an We gev me place to II
polticlnn.' says Durard. Ixac'ly fwhat
said yells Pink Whiskers y was.
goin' to fire ye anyway. but niver5
axed We to raysine.' says Pinky. An
the people roars.
TEL us about all thin Dlshurvln'
Dimmycrats,' says the people. An
Washin'ton is swcp' he storm "
silence.
But doan't ye think there's no pub
'licity ut all. Teddy himself was none.
gunshy with the papers. but he culI
be quiet, too.
"'Well : :,b soIns land In vinzu-
cely,' s:l,, the Ambassyduru
'tcmsprily, says he. Yell not says
Teddy, yen agree to nrbitrate.' says,
he, or he says, in Tin days Dewey'll;
be there says Teddy.
"'AIc Ry'le Masther will niver con.
STINT says til other. Thin says Ted,
dy, I'll sind Dewey ut wunst. There's
no use waitin.' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure We
agree. says he,--nn' divil bit did we
lno" how it was for Il dozen year.
Wen have Fertly Carey alive, or
the Baslvi Buzook dead says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says On demand ~ the State Depart
lnent Perdy Carey has been released"
An that's all.
How is It now? The greasers
slaughtered twlnty at Sanity Isabel. AN
other Mexican Crisis. says the head
lines. Twinty Americans killed. theyt
says. The Prisidint Calm says they.
'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays G0luf,'
says the headlines. An the paper
goes on:
1.-The Prisidint's appytite ut break.
fast was good, TIL leader iv the NJ,
shun gcttin' outside iv' grape fruit,
bacon an eggs. hot biscuit an coffee.
Win Doctler Grayson announced the
bill " fare the tinsllun over Mexico
was much reluved.
1.-The Prisidnt Is sOlvin' in privacy
the fateful question, xviii me throat;
lust?" The answer Is waited wild few
erish anxiety
"Mondah, the papers says 'Nashun-!
nj Disaster? Sore Throat Feared, Pan
ic ut the Capital. The Prisidint Calm,
CONSERVATION was spread among
NIL classes today be the report that
the Prisidint awoke with Il sore threat.
Strong men tainted before they cudI
reach the nearest saloon. There Is
talk ~ applntin' day " prayer. 1T
is hoped that Senior Arre-ye-on-though
will claim that the dead Americans
rayslsted iSicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but wan remark
CAV they'd not been there they'd not
iv been kilt"
"Choosdah, they snys. Hope revives.'
No sore throat. Bitten by insect.
Prlsidint calm. All Phrases Nv Mat
Their to be considered.
THE anxiety IN the Capital was re-,
lnved today be the followin' bulletin:l
"'"The Prisidint has slight per-
f0ration in the cuticle over the lnfery-
ure maXimary caused by insect bitin'I
aai" "hAh o'SASSp. Liz PutiSAl Wuo wv
proud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson."l
1T Is reported also that Gineralj
Scott will go to the border to bury the
dead, and apologize to the Insurgents.
He will axe CarranZy, whether lie wud
accept loan IL offered. This is con-
sidered the thrue Sutton Nv the diff
Guilty.
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in, Thursdah lie writes note and
Ginera Scott starts for the border,
Fridah the headlines snvs Pence I'M
Europe near. Prisdit studyin' terms.
Will he stop the war? Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
"But we're comforted be bein' towldI
the Prisidint will not be betrayed.
into lasty nckshun.
"Sundah, he's considerln' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondall he adj
vises Grandmothers about suckln'l
eggs. And another crisis Is past.
$50 ii goes ivry day. AS was sny-
in. there's a'plcnty Publicity. but 'tisI
not the brand Nv 1912"