davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

- HAVE been a very busy little body
recently and I have found out what
is the matter with Birmingham.
Answered to the point there is moth
ing wrong here.
The political element is disappoint-
ed. This is the element which kicks
for purpose. This element would live
without work. They are the street cor
ner takers aThey are the fellows who
attend public meetings and go before
the city commission and the county
Board of Revenue. and send their long
winded and worded cards to the news
papers for print. They tell the people
how to conduct public business. And
yet few of them have ever kept their
own households out of debt.
They remind me of the old type OF
editor who tells his city, his county and
his state how to conduct affairs-who
editorializes daily on what should or
should not be done; and while the
printer is putting his views in type.
said editor skips down to the bank to
borrow a bit of money on his note with
his wifes Endorsement or vice versa.
Usually the banker is susceptible to
flattery and the note goes through tho
channels. But pay day comes
Pay day has come to a lot of peo-
pie in Birmingham who have been lty-
ing on wind and words. Pay day has
come to those who have lived on their
wits-to those who have nestled in the
web spun by the man of industry.
These must now get down to work.
They can no longer live by making
issues for the people to discuss and In
their enthusiasm put up money to sup
port band of the venturesome. Bfr-
mingham has been bled by organized
charities that cost more for executives
than for the needy. We have had too
much for the public good and too lit
H. Co. =, n
much of the men who talk and do moth
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
TO TELL NORTH POLE SECRET
From the New York Mail.

From the New York Mail.
BY the outlay of only $1,000
any one who is interesting in getting in
side information concerning the North
Pole. and who really discovered 1t. can
tell him.
Meme, boy of IA, when he made his
first trip to New York as a member OF
the band of Eskimos which Admiral
Peary brought back with him in 1897
arrived again the other day on the liner
Stephane from st. Johns.
He is sturdy looking man of 80 and
apparently has forgotten none of the
English he picked up so rapidly during
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
HOTEL LoBBIEs
New Pastor Likes CITY

Il feel at home in Birmingham al
ready" said the Rev. Thomas p. Byrnes,
pastor-elect of the First Unitarian church.
who arrived in Birmingham from Erie.
Pa, Thursday Friends have been kind
enough to take me for several trips over
the city, and 1 just want to say Birming-
ham looks good to me To look at the
city, upon arrival in the business section,
one hardly gets an inkling of the magni-
tude of the city proper.
Yes, I am glad to be in Birmingham,
and l feel so much at home already that
1t seems as though I have lived here for
quite a long time. My friends in Bir-
mingham have made the welcome so
warm that it thoroughly proves what is
said of Birmingham everywhere, regard
Ing the Inequalities of the people. rshall
feel settled as soon as Mrs. Byrnes Joins
me here next week"
The Rev. Mr.. Byrnes comes 10 Bir-
mingham from Erie, Pa. where he served
one congregation for 10 years. He was
chosen for the pastorate of the First
Unitarian church of Birmingham several
months ago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
FATHER EXPLAINS

Pa, what is meant by the psychology
ical moment'?'
"Have you never seen your mother ask
me for check, SOM"
"oh, yes. pa
"And did you ever notice that she al
ways waits until I have had a good
dinner, and she has brought my slippers,
and has pulled my easy chair around to
the light and struck match for my CT
gar?"
Eyes, pa"
well. that is what is known as the
psychological moment, for making a do
nestle touch"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
PLATFORM EGO

A rather gifted speaker,
With not little fame,
And yet bis oratory
Was futile, just the same.
For something in his manner
When waiting for applause
Revealed standardization
Without sufficient cause.
AS if the man were thinking
eff greatness you would see,
My poor, benighted brethren,
Just take a look at me-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

81 YOUNG lad who ran away from
~ his home in Minneapolis
trudged into Chicago the other day
with an alarm clock under his arm.
The curiosity Of two detectives was
aroused and they questioned him. he
said he came
The Alarm Clock and to the MD
the Road to Success western me-
tropolis t o
make his fortune and brought along
the alarm clock SO he wouldn't over
sleep.
The boy was sent to the Juvenile
Detention Home and his parents noti-
fled. but he seems to have the right
idea about getting on in this world
and some day will doubtless be heard
from. He might have brought away
from home few childish knick-
knacks, or something to eat, or clothes
to wear, not forgetting any loose
change he might have found in moth
er's bureau drawer. Instead he
brought the symbol of push, the
apotheosis of hustle, the 'little demon
of unrest" which drives the unwilling
toiler to his daily tasks and arouses
the ambitious man to another day of
conquest and achievement.
Chicago's pork packers, noted for
their quickness to employ and reward
rising young men, should keep an eye
on this boy from Minneapolis. He
NAV have in him the stuff of which
captains of industry are made.
a S Lord Robert Cecil says, the
IN speech delivered September %
to the Reichstag by Chancellor Won
Bethmann-Hollweg was more re-
markable for what it omitted than for
what it contained. Although German
editor
The Real Reason Why profess to
Germany Hates England be greatly
enco u r.
aged by the chancellor's words, as a
matter of fact, he said little Of mo-
ment. He confined himself to general
ties and for obvious reasons did not
20 into details of Germany's present
situation, as regards the war and its
ultimate results. The most casual OBJ
server can see that the end is not yet
in sight, and he can also appreciate
the fact that Germany is now strictly
on the defensive.
That the chancellor should make a
bitter attack on England was to be
expected. According to German
statesmen their vitriolic hatred OF
Great Britain is based on her treach-
erous conduct, but whether Great
Britain played Germany false or not
she alone is responsible for the failure
of Germany to seize her place in the
sun.
That England has frustrated the
ambitious dreams of the Teuton wal
lords is the most patent fact the wal
has yet brought out. Broken faith
even when proved, is not such a seri
GUS matter in diplomatic circles, ant
might be easily forgotten, if expedi
ency demanded. There is something
stronger behind German hatred o.
England. 1t is the conviction thai
Albion has wrecked the hopes of Ger
many and humbled her pride. That il
what sticks in the craw of the mos
conservative German statesmen ant
drives them to frenzy.
NNHITHOUT having statistics t.
Wv 60 by it may be asserted will
little possibility of exaggeration tina
the year 1916 will pass into histor!
as the most bloodstained in this coun
try outside of war
This Year One Never day come
Of Bloody Crimes but does not brini
its murder myster,
or its homicidal horror. There hay
been more lynchings and more sui
cides than usual, and especial!
numerous have been the tragedies il
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

his few years stay here when a lad.
II have come to tell the people of New
York all about the discovery Of the
North Pole Meme said, after he had
informed the reporters that he was the
same individual who had once lived here
in the home of William Wallace. super
intendent Of the Museum of Natural His
tory.
To specified inquiries he added: But
first must have one million dollars.
"It's worth more, but I'm no pig" said
Meme. IT can live we'll in Greenland on
the income from one million
The Eskimo refused to be more ex-
plicit and gave no indication whether his
unsold story would favor the contention
of Admiral Peary or Doctor Cook.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
PRIDE BEFORE A FALL

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
Vanity of vanities. All is. vanity A
rich New York woman who wanted to
prevent her daughters marriage to a
penniless sutton failed as preyenter be-
cause her heavy. handsome car couldn
catch the clippers tin lizzie on hilly
road.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
JUST LAZY

II thought some years ago that de-
tected in young Bilfur the earmarks of
genius" remarked Mr.. Twobble.
''Indeed?"
'Rut I have lately decided that he is
merely one Of those chaps who will even
tually marry a woman competent to run
boarding house."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
Tourists Helm Florida

IT am very much impressed with Bir-
mingham,' said Col. c. D. Mills of Jack
sonville. who is visiting DIR. H. A. Ell
kourie for a few days. Colonel Mills is
councilman of Jacksonville and is a
prominent business man of that city. "I
have been here before and it is always
a pleasure to come back. Each time I
see a large improvement.
Jacksonville Is thriving. Last year we
had the largest crowd of tourists in the
history Of Florida. The same thing will
apply this year. Owing to the fact that
most of the resorts of Europe are closed
and the passage on ships is perilous, the
American who has money and is look
ing for a balmy climate with clear blue
skies seeks Florida or California. We
do not depend on our prosperity from,
the tourists altogether, but the influx OF
many people in any city has tendency
to liven it and make the entire city pros
perous'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
A RISKY OFFER

town was trying to mend punctured
tire, when an automobilist stopped and
asked If he could help me-"
Motorists frequently do that, as a
matter Of courtesy
but this was an extraordinary case and
shows how strong is the force of habit
The man wh6 spoke to me, as learned
later when met car full OF detectives
whirling out of town on his track, was
a fleeing bank embezzler"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
OUT OF THE GAME

From the Cincinnati Times-star.
And now it is said that Jagow will join
Falkenhavn and Tirpitz in retirement. To
use baseball expression. most Of Ger
manys great players will soon be 'on
the bench"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
AN AFTER THOUGHT

81 told Mr.. Thickwits that his baby
looked like him."
"of course. he was pleased"
Immensely. He didn't hear me add:
Poor little DEVIL under my breath"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

BEGINNING THE DAY. thank
Thee. O God, for all the answered
prnyers which have kept men pray
ing. 1 thank Thee that Thouh choosest
tn act through the agency OF men
who yrestIe with Thee In their
xuarits, L thank Thee that when
omen the gates of prayer 1 sfiii hesA
the tides of Thy blessing. Amen'-h'
NJ. K.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
Expect Much OF Gambler

Il notice many improvements since
left Birmingham little moro than a
year ago. said Carey Baker, formerly
OF Birmingham, and now living in At
lanta. II am glad to be able to get back
in the city for a few days and see my
friends of other days. While I am an
Albanian now, / shall always be glad
to say that / made this city my home
for several years.
THE recent election of Asa Gambler,
| one of the most influential and promi-
nent business men Of Atlanta, as may
or, was a distinct victory for the pro-
gressive young business men and the
numerous organizations of that city.
Mr.. Gambler is a man of the type that
| is seldom found. He was waited upon
| by committee of real business men
who were interested in the welfare OF
Atlanta. He was persuaded to accept
the nomination and his election was put
over by hard work and a spirit Of
F, stick together for the man who made
a sacrifice to serve his community
There were no party lines drawn
Atlanta people are proud to have Mr.
Gambler in the mayors chair and it is
almost certainty that he will be able
to accomplish more for Atlanta thar
any other man in the same position has
been able to do"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
ADRIFIr WITH THE TIMES
AUTUMN SONG
7,eJ-d3ouea


Q let us sing an autumn song;
The days are growing shorter;
But still we're working just as long,
Though we don't think we orter.
Springfield Union.
The leaves are turning fast to gold,
Which brings us to remember
How different from the leaves of old
We turned on last December.
youngstown Telegram.
o let us pipe an autumn lay;
The nights are growing chill,
We must, upon our next payday
Meet last years heating bill.
Erie Dispatch.
The harvest days will soon be gone,
This is no idle chatter,
And then no longer we shall hear,
Say, Bill, who's the next batter?"
Butler Daily Eagle.
Let poets sing their autumn songs,
No matter what their reason;
Down south black Eph forgets his
wrongs,
For tbs the 'possum season.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

Julius Jaffe, the well known jeweler,
returned from brief business trip to
Chicago and Detroit last night favorably
impressed with the chances of Wood
row Wilson for reelection.
Il left Birmingham two weeks ago"
said Mr.. Jaffe, with the impression
that Hughes was to have a walkover,
but I am not SO sure of the results t
the present time. President Wilson
seemingly has lots of friends in Mich
igan and Illinois, and the democrats in
that section are making themselves
known.
I'm my visit to Detroit I was very
much impressed with the prosperity
and progress of the automobile city.
1t seems that there is money every
where in Detroit and business is boom
ing. Every workman gets S. a day or
more, and it is one city that I have
visited where the merchants are not
kicking. There is friendly co-opera-
tive spirit about Detroit that you feel
the moment you enter the city, and l
only wish that we had such a healthy
progressive attitude in Birmingham. It
would help considerably"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
NEVER A sMIRK

what have we here?'
"a trained chimpanzee"
Hes almost human, isn't he?"
I'm some respects he's an Improvement
or the average actor. He seems quite
oblivious Of a box full of debutanteAs
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
A SERIOUS MATTER

Life is real, life is earnest"
That was what the poet wrote;
And we feel he warbled truly
Every time we pay a note.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

A life preserver from the Bremen seems
to have reached port, at any rate. How
ever. that is no indication that the
Bremen will soon arrive.
X
Now the BLACK Hand" is reported to be
trying to get money out of Johnny Evers,
the famous baseball player. Is no ono
safe from it's attacks7
y
Hughes clubs have been organized in
New York state to inject tabasco' into
the campaign. Surely, all is well in the
ranks of the faithful
+
While skinning the carcass of mule an
Illinois man found a diamond lodged in
its hide. The moral of this tale Isl
Curry your mule.
Photographs of the discus thrower have
been barred from the textbooks of Cali
fornia schools. And the uplift goes
marching on.
When street tax collectors appear on
the scene the long line of negroes waiting
at the express offices for their liquor
fades away.
Coney Island had rather bad season
this year, but that is not believed to have
been due to Coneys ambition to have a
soul"
-
Business in Mexico City is improving
rapidly and it will soon be worth a revo-
lutionary leaders while to loot the town.
X y
Sauer Kraut has gone up, along with
nearly everything else. The high cost of
living might have spared sauer kraut
SHOCK FOR sCORNFUL SOLDIER
From the London Globe.
A story is told in the birthday number
of the Gazette of the. Third London Cen
eral hospital, regarding a newly arrived
patient with bullet wound in the arm
who was examined by one of the most
distinguished ornaments of the medical
staff.
That's all right the doctor said.
''Ill have you we'll again soon.''
THANK you," replied the patient "but
I was going to ask permission to go out
and see a specialist about it."
Given permission, the patient proceeded
to town with his purse stuffed with bank
notes to consult the pest surgeon in
England-and was ushered into the pres
ence of the very man whom he rashy
scorned at the hospital!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
Automobile Men

1.-THE forming of a temporary organiza-
ton of the Birmingham automobile deal
ers, which will become a part OF the
Alabama Automobile Dealers associa tion
next Friday night, is great thing, said
w. B. Smith, well-known automobile
man. There are many things that an
association of automobile men can do that
will benefit the state and every city in
it. 1t is fact that the average au-
tomobilist is looked upon as a person
who can stand higher fines, more abuse
and receive less protection than any
other class of citizens. The forming of
a strong association will tend to help
every automobiist and every prospective
purchaser in the state, as well as all
other citizens
Good roads will be fostered. When a
machine is stolen it will be the duty
of the dealers all over the state to be
informed of this fact and be on the
lookout for it. The question of unreal
sonable and exorbitant licenses will be
taken up officially. Square dealing will
be required Of every member Of the or
ganization."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01
Ina Club Row

There has of late been mucn activity
ir evidence along the upper section of
| club row. remarked DR.. Howell T.
Heflin yesterday.
Work of renovation Is now under way
at the Athletic club and at the Young
| Mems Christian association. Informal
membership campaigns, understand
have also been in progress for short
time, with satisfactory results in both
| instances.
The whole interior of the Athletic club
! Is being recoated with paints which blend
| into a most attractive color scheme, and
both the autumn and winter seasons now
give promise of brilliant festivities.
AT the Y. M. c. A., as I am informed
| association work is moving forward with
even greater impetus than in the recent
past More than two hundred new mem
bers have been enrolled this week, and
simultaneously with this excellent mem
bership movement, the work of rehabili-
tation of tho subway is rapidly nearing
completion. BY this new arrangement
the seating capacity of the coy lunch
room or cafeteria has been doubled, and
new members are making haste to avail
themselves of the service afforded by
| this up-to-the-minute eating place"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange CONNECTING "A
depnrtments) Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

And out at EnsIey and Fairfield there
are many men of this type-men who are
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-01

No communication will be pupllshed
without it's authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-07-28

The markets of IrkutSk. in Siberia,
are an interesting sight, for the prod
uctS offered for sale are in most cases
frozen sold. Fish are piled up in
stacks like so much cordwood. and
meat likewise. All kinds of fowl are
similarly frozen and piled up Some
animals brought into the market
whole are propped up on their legs
and have the appearance of being
actually alive, and as one goes through
the markets one seems to be surround
ed by living pigs. sheep. oxen and
fowls standing up. But stranger vet.
even the liquids are frozen solid and
sold in blocks. Milk is frozen into a
block in this way and with a string
or a stick frozen into and projecting
from it. This. it is said, is for the
convenience of the purchaser, who is
thus enabled to carry his milk by the
string or stick handle.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-07-28
Cromwell and Quinine,

We owe To Sir Clements Markham
the introduction of quinine yielding
trees TO British India and the conse
quent chcapcning of the drug from Il
guinea to Il hallpcnny an ounce in Cal
cutta' but the medicinal properties OF
cnchona bark had long been known.
they We're discovered by the Jesuits.
after whom it was called Jesuits bark
concerning that. Sir Clements used 70
relate an odd coincidence. Oliver
Cromwell died of tertian ague, AMI
quinine might have saved him. In the
very newspaper in which his death wa,
announced, the Mercurius Politicus
there was an advertisement of Jesuits'
bark for sale. But the name of Jesuit
was abhorrent to the puritans. ana
hence CrOmwoll's medical advisers
would have nothing to do with il
London Chronicle.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-07-28
KEEPING CUT FLOWERS.
Methods BY Which the Fading Process
MAY Be Delayed.

Roses, carnations and orchids have
been found to keep three times as long
if small quantity of sugar be added
to the water. writes Mabel II. Wharton
of Oakland, Cal, to Popular Mechan-
les. \ small lamp Of starch has also
been found beneficial Other flowers
begin to bleed as soon rs they are cut,
and the precious sap running out Of
the stem causes the cells to collapse
Immediately To prevent this the end
of the stem must be quickly closed.
and this is best done by soaring in a
fame or by placing directly in hot
water.
The florists of California go so far as
to boil the stems of the brilliant poin.
settiaS or Christmas flowers, for which
they are SO famous. The stem is first
stuck through a large sheet of paper to
prevent the steam from rising directly
into the flower ana injuring it.
Carnations and chrysanthcmums will
keep almost twice as long if placed in
fresh water daily, and small piece is
clipped from the ends of the stems
each time. While cutting this piece off
keep the stem under water 50 that no
air bubbles are allowed TO enter the
stalk and thus retard the upward flow
of water
If large headed flowers, such as
chrySanthemums or peonies, are to be
sent some distance insure their arriv-
ing in good condition by wrapping each
blossom separately in waXed paper.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-07-28

When a Hawaiian sees Il shark near
the surface with eyes which Shine red.
as though they had red glass in them
he will not 20 in the water or oven ON
the water or if he is on the wafer he
will get to shore. for the red eyed fish
is the tiger shark. and it does not hest
tate to attack. They will not only at
tack 4 man in the water, but they will
follow a fisherman in a canoe after he
has taken lot of fish aboard, and it is
said they. will attack and ovcrtum Il
canoe if they are very hungry.
Men who know fish do not want to
have anything to do with the tiger
shark.
y shark does not turn on its back to
bite, As is the common opinion of those
who have not lived near shark infested
waters. 1t turns on its side and when
In this position can travel almost as
fast and handle itself almost as well as
when it is in its natural position
Honolulu Star.