Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1916-06-09
The Cooperative Plan
A Farmer Tries 1t on an Auto
By M. QUAD
Copvright. 1916. by the Mcclure
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1916, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

4 was uIlhllR d(lOSS Inc NOuhtAJ
with a horse and buggy when I came
TO the wreck of an auto In the ditch
and a farmer was tinkering at 1t. He
had q sledge, crowbar, an ak. a cold
chisel and a screwdriver inc had work
ed up a nice little state OF perspira-
ton.
"You appear to have a wreck here,'
l said as 1 drew in my horse.
Appear" he shouted as he looked
up. eff this isn't the durndest wreck
anybody eve saw I'll eat my hat"
How did it happen?"
How does anything happen to an
auto with a fool driving it?'
WAS 1t yours!' l asked, seeming a
story.
"One-fifth of her was mine up to
last night. Now the whole sad remains
belong to me. Did you eve hear Of
the cooperative plan among farmers?'
Lots OF times"
WAL. then, this was cooperation In
buyin' and runnin' an automobile, and
this Is one of the results of 1t. The
other result is that l am about $500
out Of pocket and have lost q wilder
who was soin' to be my wife. If you
want to hear all about it I'll tell you,
for l guess it hain't any use to tinker
any more at this blamed old thing
The farmer took a seat on the NOR
tai remains of the auto and drew q
long breath and proceeded to say:
There was Tom Lyans. Joe Baxter,
Jim Williams and ST Perkins. They
are all farmers and live about here.
They are all married men. and each
n has a gang of children. AS for
me, l am an old bachelor, but l was
a-sparkin' of the incest widder woman
In this county. The four mel I have
mentioned come over to my house one
evenin a month ago. and Tom Evans
he asks if | would go in with EN- on
the cooperative plan to buy an auto.
"'How much?' says l.
"tA thousand says he.
"'That's $3.50 EACH
"tJest so, Sam
"And the auto was bought?" I
queried.
"She was, sir. She arrived here glis-
ltllll llht IL Stui, ulld Sut cAN1ttu Jnc
wonder of folks for ten miles around.
We got a Teller from town to show us
how to run her. and in about a week
we was all ready to glide around the
country. Bein' | was a single man and
nightly in love with a wilder, they
said l might take the auto u first,
which-was verv saecenf Of t-heuks.1Efnite
sure | could run the machine as good
as any man III the state. 1t was a
bright moonlight night, and the whip
poorwills were singln' and the katy
dds chirpin', and that wilder woman
should promise to be mine before we
returned"
"And did she?" was asked as then
farmer heaved a long sigh.
"She didn't, stranger, and I'll tell
you why. We had gone about a mile
as steady as an old horse when the
auto SHE'D at a stone in the road, ran
through a rail fence, wrecked the auto,
and the widow gave me fits"
at gets interesting" l said.
"Kinder interestin'. stranger-kinder
so. We got d machinist to tinker $50
worth of tinker, and the old machine
could run again. Then it was Toms
turn. He has a wife and five children,
and they all piled in. They was clip
pin along as happy as larks when
they came to a crossroad. The auto
was for keepin' straight ahead, Tom
wanted to turn to the right and his
wife to the left, and the result was
that the machine run int and knock
- o--.- Al, urSJoTN~k a,,a &ha, @riod
to climb a fence. The whole family
took a spill and was scattered for
twenty rods around. No one was kill
ed, and there was nc broken bones,
but the bruises are yet blue, and Tom
still walks bent over like an old man
on account of the jar to his spine. By
this time we had all got skeery of the
machine; but, it bein' now Jim's turn
and he not wantin' to be called a cow
ard, he took out his family for prone
made. As the other accidents had oc-
cured at night, jim went out in the
afternoon. He thought there might De
somethin' in the night air that affect
ed the old critter. There was seven in
the family, and they was climbh he
hill beyond the red ridge when a. .
once the auto gave a snort and stop
ped in her tracks.
"'What's the matter?' asked Jim's
wife.
"'Durned if I know, but she's got to
gor he
"And she did go, sir-she went back
wards. There was |sereamin' and yell
in and swearin', and Joe's wife slap
ped his face, but nothin' did any good.
That auto kept on goin' backwards
until it dumped them all in the river,
which was about three feet deep at
that time. They was shook up and
bruised and half drowned, but they
--..- n-.1- l. AL-A uni.- -.nlnI