Mountain advocate. (Barbourville, Ky.) 1904-1935, 1916-09-29
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
On The Merry. Go. Round.

Faith an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. Four year sgone he was agin
1t, for 1t was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he is for It, that immortal
Instrument has also changed its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
"But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the .ivil service Dlmycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats. the Passytlsts
an the vulgar sowls that's none TOO
the Merry 20. round. Some ~ thin
turned sick
"God bless ye-ye're a good man,
hut we make me dizzy" says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby Horse aud run
min for the woods. I've ginywine
raygrit ut lOsin' ye,' says Wudthrow
THROWN him a Cooked Hat iv the vim.
tage of 1909
"'Heres the Army BILL" says CARR
son. How does it sultT he axes
"'Fine,' says Wudthrow, 'barrin' a
few changes. Yen rcdraw it, he
says, TO provide says he, voluntary
universal service In Federal MI
llishy,' says he controlled be the
states says he; an recruited be
spiritual com.pulsiOn,' says he. 1T
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe both he
says; an the nmmynition,' says he
must be nayther too much, nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay, be-
fore decide the daytalcs. for It's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind says
| Wudthrow
"'Stop the music and lave me off.
says Garrison. Are yc crazy or am
II Garrison means, layln' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye,' says Wudthrow. I've q ncar-reai
raygrit at losin' you, lie says. And rs
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry.
! go-Round plays side step.
"'F'what " the Navy says KItchin.
1T shud be thur'y adequate iyry-
! where says the Great IdayliSt. 'eX-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and in st. Louey,
where It shud be the biggest in the
world. Wen be none cxthravagant
| like thin Republicans says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bin ven pass
says he.
"'But this same is the Raypubll-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin'. Ven
go an pass It, says Wudthrow, pound.
ing the desk. 'Hooray.' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bin DO
I dream says Kitchn. If liver
drank, I'd think | was boozcd,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin vice And he
! falls off.
"How about the Army BILL axes
Hay.
"Through an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd.' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
I eye.
81 have here bin says Hay, pro
yidin' for an Increase ~ five hundther
men year for twinty year he says;
an amynishun for six hours ackSun.'
/ he says; twill make Us safe from
madagascar, measles. mucllrakin',
milit-rism and marital lnfldility,' lie
says, AN we'll catch Willy before he
dies av he doant lie eforc we catch
him. says Hay.
embrace me- S IS Wilson. oh
Hay - afther all preparedness is
matter " the heart an not Of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a jobT he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'DYil wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both "
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otto service in SO bravely sipportin'
me policies he says. in all their
phrases he says; 4 make judge ~
ye'he,f says he, as well as yer frind
that We put in the Joker says the
Prisidint 'Howly Saints says the
preparation S'nitors.
"'Ph-what does this mean at all at
all?' they axes. I've the wan thrack
mind says the President. AN We 10
all through ME train Nv thought before
ye come TO the pork car says he.
Are ye onY axes the Apostle iv Com
mon Counsels.
Were on says the Sinitors, fall
Ing OF. An the Merry go round plays
n Wilson Waltz (Which ye know, lawn.
is wan step forward. two steps back,
hesitate and sidestep). An Tumulty
goes Oh, to spread the glad tidin's that
the preparation p'rade will be led be
the President in person.
"'How does he save his faceY asked
Malumphy.
"'Wid his mouth responded Einne.
gan dryly.
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