The Washington herald., 1916-01-02
OLD PAP PLNKHAM
He Tells HoU Jerico Seethed.

expected scores of patriots to rushSfor-
ward and sign the roll of enlistment.
10 my great surprise no one rushed.
to their chairs. As said. the patriots
had time to think and cool of. Seeing
that something more was wanted
began calling different persons by
name. When I called on Tom Hend-
ricks he arose and said: that he had
discovered he had rheumatism, and
that the doctor had told him he must
remain home or become a cripple. fas
would leave it to others to reap all
when Joe Bediow was called he
explained that he had a very sick
could take up the march for Texas
under about two weeks. II the COW
either died or got well he would come
tagging along after the boys and kill
aoupie number OF Mexicans-to make
Deacon Harris. who had talked SO
brayely in the postoffiee, arose at my
IT want to die for my country. /
have. always wanted to die for her,
but how can fellow go to war and
die with a boil on his leg? One broke
the durn thing is so painful and grow
ing so every minute that I could not
march forty rods. II the war depart
ment viii furnish me with one of them
along with the boys
"Abner skinner fingered a little
ABOUT standing up IN answer. He ex-
n the Afternoon he Saa n6teedP Ssst %ss
he never suspected before-that he
was very near sighted. He had to
peek and peer to make out the woro.,
mistake a COW for his wife. Hetwant-
ed To go the worst way, but whhs
business has a near-sighted man on
the firing line. He might kin one OF
nEhnaFz n T.,
might put six bullets into an old
stump thinking he was dropping six
OF the enemy. He might be fighting
as bravely as any one in the ranks
and yet be wasting his Ammunition
all the time. He hoped that his near
sightedness would improve In time. II
might be in a couple of weeks, or II
read OF the bravery OF the other men
from Jerico and rejoice over it II
was a great disappointment to him
must bear this keen disappointment
with fortitude.
William Agnew had made three
speeches to the crowds during the aft
ernoon, and In two of them he had
compared himself to General Grant
therefore had reason to believe that
ne would make an early rush to sign
the roll. William, however didn't rush
any more than the rest of them. In
fact, he was very slow. His excuse for
not going to war and becoming a dead
hero was that he had counted up his
left, and two OF them were very shaky
in their sockets. He had tried to bite
-turnip and could make no impress
sion upon II, How could man with
understood that army hardtack was
as tough as a cobblestone. Would the
government guarantee to furnish him
not. He must eat with the other SOL
dters or go hungry, and all the war
books had told him that a hungry
man could not fight. He had .bargained
exchange for a yearling calf and as
soon as the Job was done he would
make a rush for Texas and the war.
All his relatives would oppose this
step, but he would sacrifice them all
rather than his country.
i called upon one more-Henry
and the Goddess of Liberty. For three
days Henry had been practicing with
hisf gun at target shooting, using his
old rooster for the target He had
over and was sure that he could ac-
count for score of invaders in every
battle. But Henry could not go to war.
He had taken a contract to cut forty
and IL he broke that contract he sure
" would have a lawsuit on his hands
He was free-born American. He
had the blood Of Patrick Henry cours-
ing through his veins. The footballs
of the invader sounded in his ears
and filled him with indignation and a
desire to kill, but he had never had a
lawsuit and did not want to be tang
led up with one in freezing weather
He would carry out his contract get
his money and IL the war was not
closed by that time he would come
down and close 1t in short order.
Il called no more. 1t was useless
Jerico was full of patriots who want
ed to die on the field of battle with
the scream of the Bird of Liberty in
their ears and the sight of Old Glory
before their glazing eyes, but they
wanted a little, time to prepare for
It. This being the case. Mr.. President,
you can't count too much on Jerico
In case OF a row. You have handled
war matters very automatically thus
far. Keep right on. We are all with
you. Here in -Jerico all the fathers are
telling their sons about the glory OF
Bunker, Hill, but they are stopping
short right there. Perhaps we could
raise three or four volunteers in case
of war. but their deafness, blindness
lumbago and other ailments would
lead to their discharge from the sery-
Ice in less than ten days.
still, Mr.. President, we are a loyal
and patriotic community and maybe
II we have chance to talk with an
Invading enemy before any powder Is
burned. we can convince them that
the safest way for them to do is to
go about their own business and let
US go about ours, We are all diplo-
mats, even IL we have lame backs.
~ '''oLD PAP PINKHAM,