davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

vinced that he is so far human that he will be growing dissatisfied with his s6C0, coo before the time comes when he can ask for an advance. Railroad presidents, baseball magnates and baseball pitchers, plumbers and all of the men who are on the top-notches of money making, should try to form a labor federation with Charlie Chaplin and then level up the scale of federation wages to his. It would not depend on Charlie whether such a labor federation could be made. We doubt if the railroads. under pres- ent trying conditions. would undertake to pay their presidents even an approxi- nation of the Chaplin salary, and this years outlook for baseball holds out little hope of such an attempt being made Not even the plumbers lead pipe cinch could put him in such running As for making the salary of the Presi- dent of the United States even half of Charlie Chaplin's, the thing will never be thought of until we elect President who can make himself look and act as Charlie does and make. therefore. tho same appeal to the populace.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

A Russian count. testifying in his di- vorce suit, stated that he rises ordi- Darily about noon. He could stay in bed all day, no doubt, without disorgs ,zing the business world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

AS opportunity is now afforded some crack-brained American citizen to plunge his country into fresh difficulties by losing his life on board an armed mer- chantman of the allies
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

Sam McVey, the colored pugilist will try to knock Jess Willard down in his training camp for $50. Had no idea Sam was so hard up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
FUTILE HUMOR.

Here you are, son. said the facetious man to the messenger boy. ''Take this note to 1415 Umpty-ump street and see if Mercury
 "Aw, quit cher kiddin'," answered the lad. T ain't no thermometer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
AS IF SHE DIDN'T KNOW.

"I see where noted French actress
 man who takes the money" "Umph! Some of these stars act all the time, whether they are on the stage Tor off,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
To paint the lily Is wasteful.
 king Lear. 
BEGINNING T

BEGINNING THE DAY-Loru. Thou hast told me that Love strOn ger than death. thank rhee for lave which though opening nay bo.om for pain reaches beyond the grave and holds my own. Thanks ne unto God who binds our hearts together with ties which cannot pc broken. Thanks be unto God wno uromises another life by the token of love. Amen.-H. M. E'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The French have acquired a certain Teuton waves. Incidentally the French are no longer called frog eaters'' by strictly neutral admirers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

Occasionally a war correspondent pre- sumably in a moment of mental aberra tion, acknowledges that he was anxious to avoid shell fire.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
TRY THE x-RAY

From the New York Telegram. War Secretary may be named this week. Takes time to look through man and see whether his backbone is steel or guaya jelly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
WATCHING DEVELOPMENTS.

What is MT. Jagsby's attitude toward prohibition?"
 "Oh, sort of mild curiosity.
 T don't understand
 "He Is waiting to see if the bootleggers will develop sufficient strategy to relieve what he considers an intolerable situa- tion."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The Russians continue to keep the Turks on the move, thus giving them some much needed exercise.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
ADRIF"T WITH THE TIMES
EXACTING.

Please take this seat, dear madam" He started toward the rear; T will" she quickly answered.
 If you'n leave off the dear"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The German equivalent of Please pass the butter is just now fraught with sig nificance in a land where there is a shortage of fats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The political pot in Alabama is boiling merrily and some of the cigars passed around are worth smoking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The Haitians are enjoying peace and quiet for the first time in more than 100 years. And, better still, it's going to last
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

Hobson's choice is the Tenth congress sional district, but the choice of the vot- CTS in that district remains to be seen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The German plan to wrest Egypt from John Bull has been indefinitely post poned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

European cartoonists take unholy de- light in prolonging the nasal appendage of King Ferdinand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The President has shown what a per
 sonally conducted steam roller" car do to Congress.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

| Billy Sunday is causing more excite
 ment in Baltimore than the old town has experienced since 1872.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

A contemporary says the was ha: transformed Anna Held. The stage vii have to bear up under this latest blow
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
ALABAMA PRESS

Annston Star: Birmingham is stand ing with reluctant feet where the brook and river meet" and appears to be afraid of the water
 Roanoke Leader: Didn't the last legis- lature have something to say about counties and municipalities publishing a financial statement about semi-occa sion- ally, or are we just dreaming?
 Montgomery Advertiser: "Congress has learned the habit of obedience" said Leader Kitchin, gloomily, when he was told that the President had demanded a showdown. Obedience to whom-Wil- liam J. Bryan?
 Alexander City Outlook: It is a pity that the whisky question bobs up every time politics is mentioned. A delegation could be elected by Alabamians to rep resent the state at the national demo- cratic convention, without injecting the question into it. There seems to be a disposition on the part of some to create strife within party lines.
 Franklin County Times: The editor has received screaming letter from Weak ley ct al. on the bill of Senator Under- wood, allowing the inhabitants of Wash ington, D. C., to vote on prohibition for the district. If we were inclined to sym pathize with the Wealxley crowd the vili- fication and abuse heaped on Senator Un- derwood would turn us against the crowd. Why should not the people of roc cj1i rtnY, 1D, aIIa Aa thing of public nature, or as a matter of fact, on anything at all? It is this method of beating the other fellow over the head that has lost the prohis de- served victory. Screaming, bowling, paving the air and abuse never accom- plished anything.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

The Italians seem determined to re- main in statu quo, if it takes all sum- mer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
A MODERN DEFINITION

From the Nashville Banner.
 It is war when more men are sacrificed in capturing piece of ground than could | be buried on 1t. }tS4 sssf s x
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
A SENSE OF RELIEF.

Did the orator make favorable inn pression?"
 "only at the close of his speech "Yes?''
 T noticed that when he said, Now. my friends, in conclusion the faces of his auditors frightened considerably.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
FOOLISH ANXIETY.

FOOLISH ANXIETY. "Dubwaite seems greatly perturbed be- cause some joy riders live in his neigh borhood."
 Well, it's none of his affair if they should happen to break their necks some night.
 "Of course not Still, Dubwaite is one of those unfortunate individuals who ac- tually believes that he is his brothers keeper
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04
THE PRICE OF A FLING.

"So you have just returned from New York;"
 Yes"
 And how is dear old Broadway?' "Just as dear as ever. I got separated from $eO0 there in three days"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

THE TEUT POINT OF VIEW t
 From the Washington Star Berlin insists that English merchants
 men must be prevented from kicking Ger
 many's U-boats around.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

Anniston Star: Birmingham is stand ing with reluctant feet where the brook and river meet and appears to be afraid of the water
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

THE STAY-AT-HOME. Ere long the glad vacation throngs Will hie them to the sea And maybe one or two will send A post card back to me.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

Entered at tho Birmingham, Ala, postoffice as second class matter un- der act of Congress March 3. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-04

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned un- less stamps are enclosed for that pur- pose.
The sun., 1916-08-22
CONFIDENT WILSON WILL WIN.
charles u. Alexander Tells OF
Hopes ut Democratic Dinner,

Charles Il. Alexander OF the Board Of
Regents, chairman OF the campaign COM
mit,ee of the National Democratic Club,
at the dinner given by him TO the MEM
bers of the committee last night. after
reading the campaign speeches OF
Charles f. Hughes on his tour OF the
West. said he felt confident Of the re-
election OF Wilson and Marshall. Fred
er!ck II. Allen. treasurer OF the cam
paign committee. asserted II would he an
excellent proposition to ask Mr.. Hughes
70 explain to the public wha, he would
done IN the various perpleXing prob
lens which President Wilson has had To
face. had he been in the Presidential
chair,
Edwin $. Harris. chairman OF the State
said the political situation
was fay rablc to the Democratic party
at the present time by reason OF the fact
that the campaign opened with n solid
and united Democracy.
Among others who were AIR. AleXan-
der's guests were Thomas r.. Rush. Sur
veyor Of the Port; John VI. Richie. pres
lhcnt Of the club former Judge Robert
l.. Luce. flrmer senator Walter Il. Her.
rick. John W, Keller. Leslie j. T%ompkins,
Joseph Haag and Arthur Mclean. former
treasurer Of the State campaign COM
mittee.
The sun., 1916-08-22
JOSS STICKS GERM FOE.
] ni M unity In Chinatown IL At.
tributed 20 DevOtiOns.

No huge. grinning head Of paper
mache will be erected in Chinatown to
Brighten away from Chinese children the
devils OF infantile paralysis. as has been
done in Boston. but the residents Of Chi
natown are thronging the Joss house TO
burn punk sticks before their Idol.
Despite the contention OF scientists and
Meteorological experts that the dread dis.
ease IL produced by germs. the residents
~ chinatown SIN favor the devil theory.
To the !nquis!tivc inspectors OF the
Health Department. who seek 70 convince
them OF error. the Drlcn;als point to the
fact that ton. Of the 500 Chinese chill.
drcn has been affected by m" epidemic.
and that the smoke OF punk sticks Is
thick In the Josshouse, Have not several
OF the children OF Italians living In the
chinatown district been stricken with the
disease? they ask. How. then, can IL be
said that devils are not AT the bottom Of
the trouble and ave been vanQu!shed
by the Joss?
Which is a question the health !nspec-
tors do no, answer.
The sun., 1916-08-22
GOMPERS ANSWERS
SHERMAN'S ATTACK
Defends Participation of Union
Men in Defence Of
Dynamitcrs.

ORANGE, ~. J.. Aug. II - ~,m,s,
Goinpers. president of the American rsd.
Grafton Of Labor. was II gucst TODAY n,
the New Jersey state Federation W
Labor. and In a speech answered s.ra.
tor Lawrence Y. Sherman of Illinois. vno
called the labor leader n skunk. a nara.
site and other names In the Scnat" las,
Monday. Mr.. Gompers denied hc was n
Democrat, and declared his first Vu'c vas
In the Republican party. although ne lad
n different view now. not of the PARTY g..
self, hut Of "those at its head Whn slrl
Tor the almighty dollar against ~. man.
hood and womanhood Of til" c"uu,fy"
OF the men in the indianapolis rhine
Mr.. Gompers asserted he aud otho' lt,.r
men believed them when they - thoy
were innocent. and went down iu ,.e-
pockets for funds to give them a far
trial and proper defence, cogniztn' ~
"the Vaccinations Of great ,url na.
tons OF wealth and rNrarny Jsi,'
working people !" but when ~" 'rcr
pleaded guilty. Mr.. Gonpcrs added, '-cy
then believed them again.
He also denied the federation Funds
were used for the Los Angclcs ,,0s.
mlters. Mr.. Gompers said the money
war voluntarily contributed by mon In.
side and outside tbs" Organization who
'believed the men were innocent and
were being prosecuted"
lie read his letter challenging SCI.
ator Sherman to debate and replying =
the Senator's challenge To- answer him
like a man The Illinois IN .ual
charges Mr.. Gompers asked whore he
could meet him.
To the charge that he was n "sklnk'
Mr.. G"mpers asked 81 wonder IL Sher.
man a entitled To the treatment - 'ae
skunk? He Is profusc In speakiNS Of
me AS anything else han a man, t.'H he
asks me 10 meet him like n man. Their
liz some Inconsistency there"
The sun., 1916-08-22
SHARP
HERE UNWELC0MED
Returns From Paris for Rest
and Conference With Lam
sing and Page.

When the French finer Lafayette ar
rived yesterday from Bordeaux there
was no one on hand from the ONCE OF
Collector o. the Port Malone to greet
william q. sharp. American Ambas-
d to France. although his return to
this country was known beforehand.
Consequently Mr.. Sharp. who was ac-
compan! by his daughter Margaret.
had to run the gantle, Of the customs
inspectors before It was discovered that
he wac an Ambassador exempt from ex-
animation and suitable apologies were
a
Mr.. Sharp said he was here mainly to
recover from the effects OF n severe at
tack OF pneumonia two months ago. lie
expected, however. in the three or four
weeks he would be here to have a con
ference with Secretary Lansing and
Ambassador Page at washin gton. After
that he and his daughter. he said. would
proceed to their home at Elyria. Ohio.
Also on the ship was pr. Adrian
Kirhg!s o; st. Cloud. MINI. who came
back 20 recuperate from disabilities in
CURED while serving with the French
troops in the Alsatian trenches. He Is a
native OF France. but a naturalized
American. Or. kirhgis said all France
is buoyed W by supreme confidence in
the ultimate victory. and that the Creu-
sot artillery works rave ready a huge
gun with a calibre OF more than INVENT,
inches which Is expected to surpass the
German seventeen inch pieces.
= \. TOKEN Worm brought over a new
comedy by Jean Richepin for production
by the Shuberts and "A report that Mime.
Sarah Bernhardt would he here in Sep
tenber in order to celebrate her seventy
third birthday on October % in this
country.
The sun., 1916-08-22
WOMEN GET STORES
FOR HUGHES BOOM
Campaign Buttons Will Re
Sold There and Addresses
Made Daily.

Hughes literature. IIughes hJ''.-s
and all kinds OF things to- keep '.o -
q. Z. campaign bail rolling morr.it wi
soon be FOR sale AZ thre stores lU Ui:.-
Manhattan. one is at l2jth street and
Eighth avenue one AZ lcith stree tr'
broadway and one at S~everty-'ng''N
street and Rroadway. II WAS hy the %.
forts OF Mrs, charles W. FarrhaW. We
OF the manager 81 Mr.. Hughes si',
making tours. that the use ~ 'Noss
empty stores was obtained. \ ''.t's
later there will he talks TN each II "F
twice a day. at noon and night. lE ~
fereNt speakers under tho auspices r e
Hughes Alliance. of which Nj. Fl-r.
ham IL one Of the committee wo'n'u
Plans for campaign meetings % N.
summer colonies on Long Island raw.
been smashed hy ~" i"f1n;ilo rtr'' ss
epidemic. which makes the worn"' '0".
ticians nt 5il Firth avenue uuw.lufg -
take the risk of getting "A crowd 90
gether.
The sun., 1916-08-22
NASSAU ST. TUNNEL VITAL.
Col. WilIim ms Says It's Necessary
for Handling Traffic.

col Timothy $, Williams, president OF
the Brooklyn Rapid Transit Company,
said yesterday that he opposes the nban-
donmcnt of the Nassau street extension
OF the Centre street loop. intended to
make the loop more available for lower
Manhattan, lie said that II the Nassau
Broad street line IL eliminated the re-
maiuing lines will not be sufficient to
handle down town traffic properly.
what IL more important, especially
to the Eastern District" said Colonel
Williams. "is that trains from that sec
ton now stopping Mt Chambers street
would not reach further down town I'M
less the Nassau-Broad street line 10 pro-
vided."
The sun., 1916-08-22
WILSON ATTACKED
CAUSE OF UNIONISM
Tn 1909 Address at Princeton
Bcrated Labor for Min
imizing Tasks.

WAsHiNGroN. Aug. 21.-The Republi-
can Publicity Association through its
president, former Senator Bourne. re-
called to-day that President Wilson In
an address to the students Of Princeton
iE 1909 criticised trades unions and aid
the standard for the employee was ito
give as little as he may for his wages
These and other remarks OF the
President about labor at the time are
referred to by Senator bourne, who says
labor will have its own Jury service"
to perform as between the two candi-
dates, Hughes n Wilson. in November,
Senator bourne says:
W have as a matter OF record the
b~accalaureate sermon of Woodrow Will
son, delivered to the students Of Prince
ton University June IL. 1909. in which
he said
"'You know what the usual standard
OF the employee is in our day. II Is to
give as little as he may for his wages.
I.abor IL standardized by the trades
unions. and this Is the standard to which
IL is made to conform. No one IL SUI
fered to 10 more than the average work.
man can do. In some trades and handi-
crafts no one L. uttered 70 do more than
the least skilfuli OF his fellows can do
within the hours allotted to n days
labor. and no one may work out OF hours
at all or volunteer anything beyond the
minimum.
81 neci not point out how economically
disastrous such "A regulation OF labor is.
II Is &c Improbable to the employer that
IN some trade II will presently not lie
worth hie while to attempt anything at
all. He la better stop altogether than
operate at an inevitable and invariable
LOGS. The labor OF America IL rapidly
becoming improbable under It's present
regulation by those who have determined
to reduce II to n minimum. our cco-
nonic supremacy may be lost because
OF Improbable servants"
The sun., 1916-08-22
ON.
Mrs. StOner Gives seven Rules for
Com Ia tins Epidemic.


II the people Of the crowded tenement
districts want to destroy the poliomye-
litis germ they mus;
Shave their children's heads.
Tear up their carpets and burn them.
Burn all wooden beds and use metal
cots.
Cover the garbage cans.
Swat the flies. and
Scrub their houses without ceasing.
These are some Of the rules which Mrs.
Winifrcd Sackvilie Stoner. wife Of Dr.
Fredericl; Stoner. army surgcon. who Is
here studying infantlle paralysis for the
Federal Government. told the audience
last night at a meeting In the Labor
Temple. Fourteenth street and Second
avenue. 1t was the opening u in "klub
Women's klean Up Week." which Mrs.
S,oner. with the backing Of Mrs. Eugene
J. Grant. head Of the New York city
Federation Of Women's Clubs Mrs. Clar-
ence Burns OF the Little Mothers Aid
Association, and n score OF other club
women are inaugurating. Mrs. Haryot
Holt Dey. president OF the Women's
Press club. took part In the meeting
last night.
To drive her lesson Of cleanliness home
Mrs. Stoner. whose experiences In teach
ing her daughter and other children by
lNe HAtuTbl melnOuS Sne HAS eNolNeu
have made her proficient in rhyming
composed some songs on the spot and
warbled them to the crowd. One wen'
to the unc of Row, Brothers. Row"
Scrub your foot with water and soap
Mcrrily. merrily.
Make IL nice and clean we hope
The audience. which was composed
chiefly Of men, instead Of the mothers
the clubwomen are hoping to attract
did not respond to Mfs. Stoner's invt
,ation to join in the songs. They had
come to the Labor Temple TO hear de
nunciations Of trusts and corporations
SUN as usually are heard at the Labor
Temple. and adjurations TO keep clear
didn't thrill them. But they listened pc.
litely. and the chairman invited Mrs
Stoner to make use Of "A soap box stand
he has at Ninety-s!xth street and Broad.
way.
BY tomorrow Mrs. Stoner hopes t.
have police permits to talk TO women or
the street in Hell's Kitchen and the per
mission Of the Board of Education e
alk in the Fairgrounds. To-day "A,
80 she will address the Little Mother,
at Happy Day House. In Second avenue
near Fourteenth street. and for tomorrow
at 3 o'clock she and the clubwomen with
her have called a meeting OF all who
are interested In cleaning up New lorl
to TAKE part in a conference at the Scud
der School. 3l6 West Seventy-secont
street.
The sun., 1916-08-22
HITS HUGHES ON SUFFRAGE.
Only Issue Open to Candidate
Thomas Tells senate.

WASHINGTON. Aug. 81. - Senator
Thomas OF Colorado, chairman OF the
Woman Suffrage Committee. In u speech
to-day In the senate said the Congress
sional Union for Woman Suffrage was
Interested chiefly In restoring the Re-
publican party to power.
The Colorado Senator, who favors a
Federal suffrage amendment. said the
union was engaged In raising funds fDr
the Hughes campaign. and had been In
strumental in inducing the nominee to
declare in favor Of the amendment In
opposition to the Republican platform.
Mr.. Hughes, he added, had seized upon
suffrage as an issue because the Itepub-
lican party had given him no Issue for
his campaign.
Senator Borah. Republican Of Idaho,
who IL opposed TO the Federal amend
ment, said Mr., IIughes's action would
not strengthen the Republican party
"onc particle"
The sun., 1916-08-22
NAVY WAR GAME BEGINS.
Twenty-seven ships Leave New
port 20 Open Attack.

NEWPORT, n, J., Aug, 2l,-With naval
aeroplanes circllng overhead, twenty
seven ships Of the Atlantic fleet, many
of them carrying civilian sailors, steamed
out of Management BAY to-day to en-
gage in n war game that Is expected 10
bring into operation the greatest num-
Der of battlcships ever assembled off
this coast for strategic purposes, Rear
Admiral Austin NJ, Knight, who Will act
as umpire. was Oh board the dread
Dought Pennsylvania.
The ships will Join fifteen battleships
and other naval units TO form the al
lacking force under command of Admiral
Henry T. Mayo In the manauvres which
begin tomorrow afternoon. The Allan
tic reserve fleet, with submarines ana
three divisions of destroycrs, also carry.
ing civilian sailors. will try To keep the
enemy from efecting a landing some
where between Passport and Cape Hat.
teras. The defenders will be commanded
by Rear Admiral James n. Helm.
The sun., 1916-08-22

ditions which he thought would prevail
after the war.
Then let the United States be
warned" he laid then let the United
States take Of its resources, its
talents. its strength. its capa city for co.
operation. its self-knowledge. Then let
the United States arise and In this conf
mercial rivalry prove itself big and
strong enough. with a sense Of fellow
ship deep enough to hold its " WORTH
lily among the nations as an exponent
Of power and efficiency under popular
government.
Let us lay the foundations broad
and deep. This Is not the question Of
a day. This Ia not the question OF a
few years. We must plan for IA long
period ahead"
Mr.. Hughes left here at 10 80 tonight.
His programme for tomorrow has been
changed TO rmit him to spend three
hours In Sacramento, Gov. Johnson's
home, at night.
The sun., 1916-08-22
WILSON NOTIFICATION PLANS.
10000 Democrats u Expected ~
shadow Lawn On Sept. =.

Presiden, Wilson's campaign mans
gers hope 10000 Democrat, including
party leaders from every state. will at
tend the notification AT Shadow Lawn,
Long Branch, on September 2. The Ma
tlonal Committee has sent out more than
5000 special invitations,
Gov. Fielder OF New Jersey called on
Vance G.. Mccormick IN national head
quarters yesterday 80 confer regarding
arrangements for the day. the local end
OF which will he in his care,
Senator Ollie James Of Kentucky, as
chairman OF tn" st. Louis convention,
will make the speech of notification.
Mr.. Wilson, 1t was learned, would not
consent to share the honors Of the day
with Thomas u, Marshall Of Indiana.
candidate for Vice-Presidcnt. Marshall
WAS told to try TO onset the effect Of the
Fairbanks barbecue by holding his mott
hcatlon In Indianapolis. He will be noti-
ned In that city on September 0. Mar
tain II. Glynn. former GoyernU Of New
York. will be the speechmaksr.