Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-09-01
Life's Little FabricatOrs.

81 can't be home for dinner this
evening, dearie. Now don't scold I'M
til l get through. Jones-you know
Lonesome of our best customers,
blew in on me this afternoon and
had to entertain him. We are having
a bite together at the club, and then
we will put in an hour together talk
ing business. You see, dearie, it saves
me time at the office. Playing cards :?
l should say not. 1 haven't touched
a card in three months. Now, there
that's a dandy girl. Well go 70 a
movie tomorrow night sure"
REBUKE by the coroner's jury was
the price paid by a Chicagoan who,
driving his auto while intoxicated,
collided with another car and had
spill in which a young woman mem
Der of his joyriding party was killed.
In other words, the gentleman was adj
vised to be more careful while driving
his auto when likkered up in future,
and if he must have accidents try
to avoid taking human life. Then we
wonder why auto drivers are so in
different to the rights of others on
the public highways.
SILVER, the insOlvent Chicago pri-
vate banker, like the bad penny, has
reaching his home city, were of his
wife and babies. Strange men of his
stripe don't think of their wives and
little ones while they are committing
acts that are nearly always certain
to bring them into bad repute.
1T turns out that it was the Navy
league, and not Admiral Won Tirpitz,
which circulated the manifesto in Ber-
lin advocating resumption of unre-
stricted submarine warfare on rner-
chant vessels by Germany. Which
simply goes to prove that the Navy
league is an international affair,
working in the interest of the manu-
facturers of war munitions. The
Navy leagues concern in Berlin is
over the lessening Of sunken vessels.
Every lost ship calls for the sale Of
more armor plate, etc. The Navy
league is not peace agency. as ii
poses. It's simply a press agent for
the munition makers.
PHILADELPHIA suffragets are
volunteering to serve as conductors
and brakemen in the event OF strike
They are satisfied they can do the
work, but they are in a stew over
what they should wear. We would
imagine they would worry more over
what they should not wear IL they are
to extend their anatomies in hopping
trains, etc, with the agility OF those
whom they essay 10 succeed in these
trying positions.
WANTED-Position housekeeper
on farm. Employer must be a bach
elor, with or without children In
quire S24 South DubuQue-Iowa City
Press.
THE man yOu see on the opposite
side OF the street waving greetings
at you is not crazy. He's merely
candidate who's trying TO make Won
believe he knows you, even though he
may never have seen you before. But
we must expect these familiarities I'm
campaign times. Imagine former JUS
tice Hughes insisting that the bows
call him Charlie. LII one had pre.
sumed 20 have thus addressed him
before he became the presidential
nominee he would have escaped with
nothing less than jail sentence.
Which goes to prove that LIES a great
comedy after all
COLONEL Lowden, in his refusal
to answer the slanderous allegations
OF his opponents for the republican
nomination for governor, rises so far
above the others, in the estimation OF
the writer, that he doesn't deserve to
be thought of in the same breath with
the peanut mud singers who are
barking at his heels.
ING