davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Albuquerque morning journal., 1916-11-22

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Albuquerque morning journal., 1916-11-22
LESSONS FROM the BANQUET

Al tho banquet 10 the farm loan
board. Monday night, Herbert quick
brought out now idea as TO how the
country is 10 meet conditions at the
cnd OF tie great European war. He
taid IL Wus shown by a survey mndc
bv mo University of Wisconsin that
the average farm is capitalized about
one third too low for the greatest ef-
ncicncy. that the farm loan system
win enable the farmers to secure the
necessary equipment for their iafihH'
that production win be greater and
that the thirN-five million people
now living on the farms viii have
their purchasing power so Increased
that they will buy more Of the pro-
ducts of the factory and the mine
than is now being sold 10 The heilis
orents Of Europe lie gave facts to.
Justify the faith that is in him
According 70 Mr. quick, instead Of
the factories being taxed TO make
powder and shell, machine guns anG
cartridges for Europe, they VIII be
taxed to make farm machinery fur
nllure ana clothes for the people VINO
live in the rural districts, And the
people Of the rural districts will pay
for what they buy with their increas-
cd earnings on the farms.
Another point brought out by COM
missioner Norris who is man Of
large fortune, made largely In the
marketing of bonds was that the Ann
cricnn Of smun means will have op
rortunity for profitable Investment inl
The bonds Of the regional farm loan
banks. The bonds which will he issued
in denominations ua low as twenty five
dollars are non-tuXablo. They bear
from four TO five per cent interest
which rs about as much ua the man
can make out of his money If DE has
enough to loan, II he pays the taxes
on IT. The bonds are absolutely snte.
AS Mr. Norris pointed out, the poo-
pie OF France have saved more money
than any other people per capita I'M
tho world nocpuso thcv boyo noueht
roy,,pmapt ana semi government so-
cr,itics with whatever money they
could lay their hands on. Every peas.
..t 81, t,,,rc. ,r r,,rl,. oyr,,- ono
r.,s bt.r,s, coming In from some
.,,r,e vbcy ain feel tha, ,bcv have
.,,rc IN tno rovorpmcnt which. i'm
, 1.,g, ,,cosnrc o,copnig for tho i'm
,n.ul, r,trtotsm shown nv tho
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Albuquerque morning journal., 1916-11-22

"What would happen asks a mag
aztno writer. If the newspapers
printed all the TRUTH" We have an
idea that lot of things would nap
pen. and that some Of them would hc
to the newspaper mon.
Albuquerque morning journal., 1916-11-22

When the congrcsswoman from
Montana makes her maiden speech
In the house, there will bc no vacant
seats Whether that win bc true the
uoNt time viii depend chiefly on the
sort OF speech she mukos.
Albuquerque morning journal., 1916-11-22

Eight good speeches were made at
the banquet in exactly one hour. Why
long speeches.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

days. hut always failed. At last he
hit on novel and attractive method.
He made big damper-the name the
Australians give to a cake Of -four and
water with seasoning Of salt-On
Sunday and marked It into seven parts
Each section was days allowance.
and the slices that remained told him
the number of days that must pass be-
fore Sunday came again.
For several weeks this method never
failed him. Unfortunately. one Tues
day he fell In with fellow rider who
was very hungry. Eagan stinted him
self In order that the ravenOus one
might be satisfied with that days Sec
tiOn of the damper. But It was no use.
The host saw the knife cut the bound
airy line and the hungry rider carve
into the almanac. He could stand 1t
no longer.
"Stop, now, stop!" he yelled. as he
clutched the remains Of the damper
and glared ut his visitor. There" he
continued, you've eaten Tuesday and
you've eaten Wednesday. and now
you want to slice the best of the MORN
In off Thursday! Not II | can stop it.
sonny! l won't he knowing the day
of the week!"-YOuth's Companion.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
KILLING TIME.
Il Went q Little Too Far and Then the
Victim Called q Halt.

Il Went a Little Too Far and Then the
Victim Called a Halt.
On the immense sheep ranches in
Australia each of the boundary riders
has a district to look after, In which
he has to keep the wire fences in re-
pair and see that the sheep come to no
harm. 1t is hard, lonely life, In which
the rider rarely sees another human
being. Many Of the men have strange
ways Of keeping count Of the days.
One rider, who had lived for thirty
years In the back country, used two
jam tins and seven pebbles. One tin
was marked This Week." and the
other Last Week" On Sunday morn
ing he was accustomed to take a peb-
BILE out of Last Week" and drop 1t
into This Week. That operation he
repeated every morning until "This
Week" had used up the seven. They
were then returned to last Week"
on each day. and the old fellow knew
when another week had passed.
Another rider named Eagan tried
several plans to keep count OF the
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
Too Much For Towne.

Charley Towne, the magazine editor
and poet, was once asked to act as tn,
judge of prize story competition oper
to all aspirants.
He consented.
From the publishing house conduct
ing the contest a huge burden OF manu-
scripts was brought to him. Selecting
a bulky envelope at random. he opened
it and withdrew from it Il great mum
Der of sheets of foOlscap covered OF
both sides of the pages with fine writ
ing done in purple ink and in femi
nine hand.
Afterward, following his prompt res
ignatiOn from the job of judge. Mr.
Towne forgot the title of the story. but
the opening sentence fingered in his
memory. 1t was as follows:
1.-The day the ball was to be thui
night dawned NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Evening Post.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

An old lady called at farmhouse
one day just as the family were sitting
down to tea. She was invited to take
Off her bonnet and join them.
NAY" she said. 81 have no time. bur
4 don't mind hevin' cup o tea an 4
bit o. cake"
She was supplied with this and.
finishing the cake before the tea, took
another piece. Just to get the tea
dam"
This performance was repeated until
she had been helped to seven cups Of
tea and eight pieces Of cake. Then.
looking round complacently. she said:
swell. think. after all. III TAX me
bonnet Off an get me tea reight."-
London Mail.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
EVERSON

Mr.. and Mrs. Chas. Arnell and
family spent the weekend with rela
lives in New Westminster and Van
couver, B. c.
Mr.. and Mrs. Eardley and daugh'
ter, Alma, of Ketchikan. Alaska, are
spending the Christmas holidays al
the A. 4. Hardin home.
Otto Biehle, of Bremerton, Wash.
is visiting home folks.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Todd were
Christmas dinner guests at the II
Iverson home.
VIM. Hunt returned Monday after
spending last week with friends in
Seattle.
Mr.. and Mrs. II. Girke and family
spent the weekend at the l.. Bushby
home.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. C. Scott visited
in. Bellingham Sunday and Monday
Miss Adeline Ingersoll, who is at
tending Normal in Bellingham, is
spending the holidays with home
folks.
Mr.. and Mrs. Clyde F. Reed and
daughter. Vivian, spent Christmas al
the Meurer home in Riverside.
Mrs. l.. Bushby was passenger to
3ellingham Tuesday.
Mr.. Paul Biehle spent last week
with friends in Stanwood.
Miss Frances Willard of Belling-
ham spent the Christmas vacation
with home folks.
A successful Christmas program
was rendered at the Presbyterian
Church Saturday evening by the Sun
day school children.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
Too Awful.

Some one once made a bet that no.
body could rime gazetteer. but the bet
was taken and won with this:
He rang the bell for the gazetteer,
But boots said, Nobody has it here"
But Byron beat this In Don Juan"
when he committed the following lyri-
cal crime:
Ye lords of ladies intellectual,
Confess IL they have not henpeck'd you
all!
Charles H.. the Merrie Monarch. once
offered a prize among his courtiers for
rhine to porringer. The award was
given to certain marriage announce
ment:
The Duke of York a daughter had;
He gave the Prince Of Orange her.
So now your mai esty will see
I've found rhine for porringer.
But undoubtedly Robert Browning
took the kettle, the biscuit and the bun
for a rime when he wrote. quite seri.
ously:
You trample our beds of ranunculus,
And you Tommy -make-room-f or-your-
uncle US.
That, as the profane would say.
puts the tin hat Onr'-Pearson's.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
SCHOOL ALUMNI TO
HOLD A REUNION
Graduates Plan Celebration and
Gathering Friday Evening at G.
A. II. Hall.

The alumni and seniors of the
Lynden High School will hold party
Friday evening at s O'Clock in the
G. A. r. Hall. All alumni and SEN
Tors are urged to attend.
A number of the graduates who
have been away at college are home
FOR the holidays, and the affair will
be in the nature of reunion for
them.
Last years graduating class held
| reunion Monday evening.
A small assessment will be levied
against those present to pay the hall
and refreshments.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
An Open Giver.

Harold's father was in tie habit oil
giving 81 Sunday to the church. This
was pat in numbered envelope il the
collection plate and the amount credit
ed to him on the church books. Mr.. Il
was away for the summer and OH his
return inclosed his arrears in the en-
velope and intrusted 1t to Harold to
put on the plate. When the little DO!
came home from church he slid proud
ly, Il put an awful lot Of money on the
plate this mOrning-moren anybody
else, l guess.
You got the envelope there al
right" asked his father anxiously, foI
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
Not So Green.

"Yeou city chaps think yeou are pref
ty smart. don't yeou!" drawled the
farm lad. Ever been to one of our
spelling bees:'
Never had the pleasure" responded
the city boarder.
WAL. by heck, yeouve missed lot
Now, our favorite catchword Is ice."
why. that only has three letters
Why should the word Ice he so popu-
iar?"
Because 1t Is easy to slip on. Ha
ha. ha!"-ChicagO News.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
ADVERTISED LETTERS,

Mail for the following named per-
sons remains unclaimed in the post
office at Lynden, Wash, December
IS, 1916. If not called for in two
weeks it will be sent to the Dead
Letter office:
Thomas Grimes, J. G.. Browne.
One cent due on each of the above
letters. When calling for any please
say Advertised"
d. L. BECKES, Postmaster.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

UNTIL you have made. your loss
known TO the readers of this
newspaper do not decide whether
or not you will recover your lost
article. A SMALL ad in The Tlib-
une may be the means of having
your loss restored TO you. Ra es
in this columns cts. per line,
minimum first insertion rs cents.
Count five words to line. Bring
or phone your ad to The Tribune.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
A Willing Witness.

"Did his actions have IN air Of veri
similitudeT the lawyer asked the wit
ness.
"What was that, sir?'
II say, did his conduct wear an all
Of verisimilitude?"
"Oh!" replied the witness. Sure.
He was versimilitudin' all round the
place."-Saturday Evening Post.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
Knew Boston.

Owing to the war wealthy Boston,
man, deprived of his summer trip t.
Europe last year. went to the Panama
Pacific In its stead. Stopping off a
Salt Lake City. lac strolled about thu,
city and made the acquaintance OF u
little Mormon girl
I'm from Boston" he said to her. 81
suppose you know where Boston isT'
"Oh, yes. | do" answered the little
girl eagerly. Our Sunday school has u
missionary there. Chicago News.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
SOME COWS CAN'T PAY THEIF

SOME COWS CAN'T PAY THEIR
BOARD-Do you know which
ones they are? You can't at
ford to give them expensive feed,
and lose money on their cream
check. A herd record will give
you the facts; easy to keep and
inexpensive. Herd record sheets
on cardboard. space for two
daily milkings of 20 cows for ]
month, so cts. a doz.. 25 for 81.
THE TRIBUNE.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
No 6rigand.

A certain congressman sent free
seeds to a constituent in a franked en-
velope, on the corner Of which were
the usual words Penalty for private
use. $500" A few days later he re-
ceived a letter which read:
81 don't know what to do about those
garden seeds you sent me. l notice 1t
Is $500 fine for private use. don't
want to use them for the public. l
want to plant them in my private gar
den. can't afford to pay $500 for the
privilege. Won't you see If you can't
fix 1t so | can use them privately?
am a law abiding citizen and do not
want to commit any characteristic
Register.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
A Mighty Bio Can.

An Irish harvester found himself In {,
small Scottish town. AT the gas work
he saw gasometer for the first time
In his life and stopped II countryman
who was passing to ask, whats tina
big round thing there standing ON end?
The Scotchman scratched his heae
and replied. "a dinna ken"
"Get out with you" said the Irish
man. You never saw a dinner can a.
big as that In your life
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
CARE OF THANKS

We desire to express our hearth
,elt thanks for the kindness shown
is and the assistance given by our
,riends and neighbOrs during our
bereavement.
E. r. BOSTWICK AND FAMILY.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOUND-Tire and rim, between Lyn-
den and Glendale. Owner can
have same by proving property
and paying costs. Inquire at The
Tribune office. 12-28-tf-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
MAR RAG e.

The first bond Of society IL
marriage: the next. our children:
then the whole fnmily and all
things In common t'iceIo
In marriage the relative pro
portion of property Is not so
much to he considered as the
union Of mind and similarity Of
disposition Chastity and mod
esty form the best dowry or a
virgin.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
SAFETY FOR BUYERS

Tribune readers take absolutely chances when buying
from the stores advertise in The Tribune Advertisers
will sell exactly what they offer in the columns of this
guarantee In of any misrepresentation,
The Tribune will pay your money back promptly if the
chant does Truth all through news, editorial and
advertislng--- is The Tribune's standard
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

PUBLIC SALES-If you want to
hold a sale call on ME person.
ally or phone 1903 Lynden. Nj.
Wander Griend. Good service as
sured. 1l-l6-tf-o
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOUND-Holstein bull, about one
years old in Geo. Worthen's pas
ture. Owner can have same by
proving property and paying
costs. John Van Mersbergen,
Phone 2410 Lynden. 12-14-2t-O
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
The Little Things.

1t is not the straining for great
things that is most effective: it is the
doing the little things. the common d,-
ties, the little better and better-the
constant impr0ving-that tells.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
Notice to Public

We, the undersigned, desire to an
nOunce that after January 1, 1917,
gasoline, oils and accessories will be
sold by US for cash only.
G. Il. GILBERT.
JED PARRISH.
WILL BAUMAN.
LINDEN MOTOR CO.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FARMERS AND STOCKRAISERS
-Oertel Bros. Blaine. are pay
Ing the highest current market
price for No. Beef. Veal. Pork,
Poultry and Produce. Ring up
or write and our buyer will call.
3-30-tf-O
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
PUT THE BILLS ON THE PLATE.

PUT THE BILLS ON THE PLATE.
Harold had been almost afraid to carry
SO much money.
"Oh. yes" he said but l took tL,
envelope off when | got there and JUS
put the bills on the plate In my hand
Nobody'd have known how much
gave If I'd left it in the envelope"
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28
w A II I F. p
Notices Of For Sale and Of the Wants Of the Community Bar
gains Everything From Tin Pans to Glass Dairy Ranches
Al
A Continued Story About Advertising

FOR SALE CHEAP-My property on
First and Grover; room house,
full basement, hot and cold water:
with two lots and barn 38X54. Will
sell house with one lot or both.
Charles Wander Yacht. 1-4-tf-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOUND: Pair of rubbers in jamie
,on,s Hall after basket social. Call
The Tribune
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

WHITE WYANDOTTE COCKERELs
For sale. full-blooded. Gerrit
Veleke, Phone 1912, Lynden.
11-16-tf-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

LOST-Between Lynden and Bel
bingham Sunday, Llewellyn setter
dog. black and white. black ears.
Phone NoOksack 1903. 12-21-1-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOR SALE-3G acres we'll improved;
easy terms. p. o. Berthusen, Lyn-
den, r. /. 12-21-3t-*
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOUND-License No. 1908 on Ev-
erson-Bellingham road. Call The
Tribune. 11-2-tf-O
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

LOST-Gray cow, 1 mile northwest
of Lynden. Return to Martin Wis
ser, Lynden. Call K261.
12-2S-1t-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

DIR. VAN KIRK. Specialist In dis
eases Ut the EYE. EAR. NOSE
and THROAT Glasses accuratel!
fitted Beilingham Nat1 Banl
Building.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

Old newspapers. Five cents bun
die. At The Tribune office.
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FEED GRINDING-The Lauckhart
mill is repaired and ready to do
all kinds of feed grinding. Phone
1908 Lynden. 12-21-3t-@
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOR SALE--Dry Alder and Fir
wood s1.60 per rick, ricks or
more $3.50. J. d. Scrimger,
Phone 4314 Lynden. 4-1-17-'
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

S0-ACRE FARM FOR RENT-1-2
mile from Ferndale condensery;
65 acres cleared, balance in pas
ture. Call Phone 5000 Ferndale
12-28-2t-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

WOOD FOR SALE-Popular prices.
A. C. Palmer, Phone 471O.
11-23-tf-0
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

FOR SALE-Some young bulls out
of First Prize Jersey bull at
Fair. B. G. Crabtree. 12-3O-tf-O
The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1916-12-28

LOST-AXE, on Front st. Please
return to H. Span or leave a
The Tribune office. 12-2S-1t-*
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-07-01
i [Taegao1e FINANCIAL AND MARKET NEWS Local

daughter, Miss Mabel, of No. 2bs Cort-
land-ave left Friday evening TO
spend a few days at their summer
home at Fair Haven.
Oscar Seaberg, ~ vars, and Charley
Johnson. 40 years. OF No. 1853 Con-
gIess-ave.. east. were arrested by Pa
trolman Burtch for bieng drunk and
disordrly. They are being held by
the Highland Park police department
Whether o. not a postponed we'd
ding viii be a happy one II a Qucs-
tion that Leioy Wallace or No, ESQ
Michigsn-avs., Is pondering over In
the Highland Park Police station. lie
was To be married on July and be-
gan TO celebrate Friday. Wallace de-
'1eyers cigar ordrs for the Harry W
Watson Cigar Co. at No. Ia Jeffer-
ebn-ave. He ran into an automobile
while under the influence Of liquor
and Is bieng held by the Highland
Park police department on "a charge
OF reckless driving. The wedding VIII
be postponed.
John Zritchley. OF No. 1888 Russell
st, was arrested for speeding, after
which he was arraigned In Justice
LAnagan's court and rned $40 and
So costs
Elmer Metchier. OF No. Iss Pingree-
ave. was arrested by chief Seymour
for violating the trsfnr ordinances
Before Justice flanagan he was fncd
and IS costs.
Mr.. and Mrs. Meek moved Friday
from No. ~ GlendAle-ave.. to No. $50
Trumbull-
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-07-01

Chicsgo. are visiting Mr.. and Mrs.
William Thon, Oak 81.
branch 80. {. NJ, d. a. VIII meet
Tuesday evening In {. NJ II. A. haii.
l.. G. y, \. lodge Will meet Wed
Police captain John penman re-
ce,ved word OF the arrival of the
new police motorcycles. Saturday
knlghts - Columbus. Downriver
lcd-r. VII meet Friday night In c.
CITY treasurer James c. Headmsn
gave notice Saturday Of the third
installmrnt o. the special paving as
scssmont for Poplar and Chestnut
SITS and Eureka-RVe. and Van Al
styne-hNd, which are due IN July.
Municipal hospital authorities are
Mamie who has been the culinary
chief for more than n year. has lett.
and no other cook, male or female
has applied. Meanwhile. the nurses
must do their own cooking. and Of
ten the Janltor has 20 help out. This.
the best OF feeling between patients
end attendants. and the matron -
signing. MY Kingdom for q cook.
When the hnal motor boat leaves
the Michigan Alksli club dock satur-
day at o'clock. y members OF the
-i-ft- fer he Afst-~anp- of-the
summer on Crosse lie. Equipment
will be taken over all afternoon. and
10 - expected the last load will be
only boys Scout authorities have
been besieged by parents OF scouts
Arnx-nf anY kind 10 bee carried !nta
camp, as Il was this fact that broke
M tae -iAiS- can. twu boys being
shot the nrSt day ~ the outing.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-07-01
CUB 3!g'I3a
- NEWS
TRENTON TO
CELEBRATE
HOMECOMING

TRENTON. July l.-"Homecom.
ing day July 4, in this village. will
be observed with an elaborate pro
gram " entertainment. athletic
events and speeches. with a large
parade and competitive drill 10 hll
in with
On Tuesday morning. the Oddtel-
lows OF Wyandotte and Trenton Will
meet In the l. o. O +. hall here, al
$50 o'clock, 10 form in line for the
parade Included in the parade witt
De the Boy Scouts OF both these
towns, the OddfelloNs and their re-
spective degree teams. the !. o. O.
F. suxiliarieS. the Wyandotte band,
the visiting lodges from Detroit. and
many aeats- The line viii begin
marching NJ 10 o'clock.
After the parade, the degree teams
will stage a competitive drill, as
will the Boy Scout troops. and then
the Canton exhibition drill. and fol-
lowing that a number OF athletic
events including feature events,
dwasheS and tug-of.war.
Slocum-Truax park will be the
scene OF two ball games. one begin
ming at o'clock, between the Wyan-
dotte GARNER Hardware Co. team
and the River Rouge internationals,
and one al { o'clock. with the Tren-
ton Seminoles opposing the winners
OF the first game.