The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-10-18
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Single Track Minds.

"What is he?" asked Finncgan. "Sure
at lnjainnypoles he said he was iull
Of Annymated Concerv'tism. Fwhnts
that We say? IT'S the turn-table on
! the wan thrack mind. 1t kupes spin
| min round and round an dvil man
can tell fwhat switch it will pick up.
1t dinnau itself. So We dinnau where
to lay for 1t.
"T'was so wild the arrumed freight
ships. They're not warships,' he says,
'Onless | change me mind he says,
which | have he says, AN annywnn
who says So is liar he says, hut
refuse to discuss it, he says ri
pass the buck to Congress- he
says, 'On'y | won't he says. FOR It's
no business of theirs he says. though
they must vote on the reSolutiun. he
says, to show where they stand. he
says, 'Hince yen lay it ON the table
he says, AN thin they can't vote
says Wudthrow to Stone.
"I-I-thOught | seen fallacy,'-
says Stone, timid like, but the Great
Idaylist brung down his fiSht wild
t'ump.
Table The riSolution,' says he,-an'
away goes Stone.
"'Fwhat does this meanT axes the
Sinit.
Gentlemen, says Stone, weepin'
bitterly, Ye can frisk me. But thim's
the orders says Stone, AN If amy
man ivir knew fwhat II meant he's
KEEP quiet about IT.
80 wild the fightin' wurd We're
too proud to fight says this turrlble
man to bunch Nv juSt-Overs at Phla-
dephy. Haw-Haw-lIaw,' says the
wurld ca laugh gets his goat, Jawn).
I was thinkin' iv sOmethn' | didn't
say, ycllS Wudthrow. 'Haw-Haw-
Hnw,' says the wurld laughin' to split.
''Be this an be that Too Proud tn
Fight has made the reppytaShun lv
WudthrOw. TVS like the Monroe Doe
trine To Monroe, or EmanShipashun to
Lincoln. Twas TRANSLATED into ivry
tongue. Tis better known than the
twenty-thlrd psalm, or the famous or
alton Nv the Guv-nOr Nv North Carliny.
II an Ashtantee pOked another in the
eye, he's give him the coon f'r Are Ye
Too Proud to FightT an they'd both
laugh befure they wlnt to the lure.
All the recruitln' signs abroad had II
an the shame wud bring three recruits,
where "ripperary' or rum wud bring
wan. oh, won't We place stop laugh
IMP says Wudthrow, but they laughed
the more. So he sinds Jim Ham Lew
Is TO explain. He's called Ham by rpa-
son he's so fond of pork.
"Three thousand years agone, says
Jim Ham, or maybe less says he, AN
ould Dago said Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry Cor the like O. that, Jawn. II
means not to have a chip on yer
shOulder). Non Dlnny Carey win
Kerry, says Jim Ham, AN Julius Say
zer,' says he, AN Tolmy Philadelphy,'
says he, AN the Earl iv Cheatem,
says Jim, an William Hatch Seward,
says Ham, AN lot more | forget,
says Ham, who felt the same way,
says jim, although he says, they
nivir said So says jim Ham to the
Slnit.
"'NOw,' says he, how, axe We, cud
the Prlsidint know that the cultivated
Christian aujience,' he says, Nv immy-
grants says he 'wud fail to grasp the
nOOance,' says Jim Ham An Jawn,
they shut the dures the way the peO-
pie wudden't see the Sinit lose Its
dignity
"Fwhats a nooanceT' asked NAL
umphy.
"r'is a sort Nv intellectual gold
brick" replied Finnegan, slightly puz-
zled, 'be which We say fwhat ye doant
name, an name wye doant say. The
nOOance comes out iv II somehow. |
TITS like dinnau what. just exactly |
like IT," he added after a short pause
al cudden't tell thin apart"
SWELL" said Malumphy, "the single
thrack mind gets nowhere, I'm think |
In"
"'rh' gauge Is none too broad" re-
piled his friend, "an' the thrafiic's |
heavy" he added.
"NOn Dinicare est Yincere.
- a I