The Washington herald., 1916-07-15
Making Conversation.
By oRIsoN sWET.r MARDEy

The monk, Basle, according to quaint Legend
died while under the ban of accommodation
by the pope, and was sent in charge OF an
angel to hnd his place in the neither world. But
the monks genial disposition and his great
conversational powers won friends wherever he
went. The fallen angels adopted his manner,
and even the good angels went a long way to
see him and live with him. He was removed to
the lowest depths of Hades, but with the same
result. His kindness of heart and charm OF
speech were irresistible, and changed the hell
into a heaven. At length tho angel returned
with the monk, saying that no place could be
found in which to punish him. He still remained
the same Basle. So his sentence was revoked,
and he was sent to Heaven and canonized as
saint.
A we'll known writer says "A good converse
tionalist is one who has ideas, who reads thinks,
listens, and who has therefore something to say
1t sounds very simple. There are few of US
that cannot at least in some degree, measure up
to the terms of the definition But there are
very few really good conversationalists Why?
Because we're afraid to talk. There are other
reasons, but this, in great majority of cases, is
why people sit tongue e-tied and embarrassed when
they would give almost anything to be able to
speak freely and naturally
Fear is the great enemy of interesting con-
versation. How many who can talk we'll in
the family circle with intimate friends can
not muster courage to utter a word before
strangers. They afraid they will not say the
right thing, and they become tmid and I'm
natural.
When We are self-conscious, even though we
talk, our conversation is stilted, unnatural Fear
kills naturalness, spontaneity, and this is the
soul of conversation. How we all love to listen
to all tb.,, +b,t
we are listening! What bright, delightful things
they say. They are not thinking of the effect
of their words upon others; they do not trim
their expressions to suit those they address, and
SO they charm the adult listener.
If could only forget ourselves and simply
be natural children when talking to one
another, would be surprised to find how much
better could talk.
Tens of thousands Of men and women with
splendid ability are occupying very inferior posi-
tons and carrying very little weight in their
communities, because they cannot release their
knowledge or their ability. Their brains are
like lobster traps-knowledge can get in, bue
cannot get out.
In the same way there are a great number Of
people who could talk interestingly if they could
only get hold of themselves, and bring their re-
sources into action. I have seen intellectual
giants sit as dumb sphinxes in a drawing
room while some little ir-braned, pin-headed
fellow was the center of attraction, because he
knew how to WELD to advantage his little ability.
How different it would be if as children we
were all taught to express ourselves fearlesslx
with facility and vigor in the presence of adults
If children taught that it is Just as ifnpor-
tant to give out with and grace what they
know as to know it, we should not have so many
dull adults, many helpless giants both in
private and public life
In every rank Of society see people placed
at disadvantage because of the lack Of early
training in self-expresson. They are humiliatoI
and embarrassed, unable to enjoy themselves or
contribute anything to the general endowment
because they learned the art of putting
their ideas into interesting, telling language We
see brainy men at public gatherings when mo-
mentous questions being discussed sit silent.
unable to tell what they know, when they are
infinitely better informed than those who are
making great deal of display of oratory or
smooth talk
There are hundreds Of these silent people.
both men and women. at our National Capital
many Of them wives of husbands who have sud
denly and Unexpectedly come into political prom
inence.
But it is never too late to correct fault or
to acquire virtue This is as true of the art
Of making conversation as of ANYTHING else
Some one had said: For one that has read
much, kept two good eyes in the front of his
head, and done his own thinking there is never
any necessity Of making conversation Conver-
sation makes itself when there is raw material
for it."
This puts the matter in nutshell Given one
who has a good clear voice with the raw ma
terlar for conversation, and who is not too timid
or selt-consclous to express himself and YOU
have a gool conversationast