davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-02-22
RAILROAD SAYS DEAD
IN WRECK ARE SEVEN

lBy Evening Herald Leased WIrrl
3ustun, Feb. o n Was stated ai
tho ofnrc uf President Elliott OF tho
Sew Haven railroad late to-day that
rao passengers and fNc cmployos
we're kllled In tho wreck m Milford
CHnn
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-02-22
GERMANS C0MPLACENT
AS TO PINSK FRONT

Try Evening Herald egsod wircl
pmsk. Russia thN ificr 90 Berlin,
Feb. q. Via London 'cb. e2l The
nWdest weather of G' tides along IN"
German lines In tn heater ot wat
has prevented any r able attack ny
the russians IN sociat,d Press
correspondent has I. viewed the
"mnrhine puu frou. IN the pripet
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-02-22

Representative NHker of calf
furnm read GonrTl Washington =
farewell address
Rear admiral l.I ger testified
before naval niilf. committee.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-02-22
THE DAY IN CONGRESS


senator johnson Maine read
Genoral Wnshua p's farewell
address
Ecccssod at / lN M. to- noon
"Wednesday iC rosU T. memory
Of Washington
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
weak, Fainty Heart, and Mysteries
can be rectifed by taking REMOVING"
heart and nerve tonic. Price soc and 81. Adv.
Power of Observation

Even in the pursuit of other studies
the power of observation is of para.
mount Importance. Watch q class of
children in school and see how some
seem positively incapable of seeing or
hearing; they will strain every nerve
TO copy the exercises on the black
board, and yet there will be mistakes ::
they will listen to an explanation and
yet when ii comes to a repetition 1t
seems as though the sound Of the
words had never gone further than the
outer ear; in fact, they cannot study
because they have never learned to
take the first step in that direction
through training of the senses. All
knowledge, you know, comes through
the senses, and the more widely open
We throw these doors the more knowl-
edge we may hope to have come
in to enlighten the mind.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

every million Christmas presents dis
played in stores a certain percentage
Of people buys something which they
couldn't afford and gives il to a GER
tain percentage of people which amt
got no use for it at all. SO she goes
to work and gets up a Society for the
Prevention of Useless Giving, and con-
sequently a certain percentage of dry
goods stores loses a certain percentage
of customers which formerly had a
rotten bank account and a good dis
position, and has now got a good bank
account and rotten disposition"
But Miss Morgan done this for lot
of salesladies which used to spend
their money so foOliShly at Christmas.
Zapp, that they had nothing left to
take a vacation with in the summer
time"
THAT may be so, Birsky," Zapp said,
and while l amt exactly "a certified
public accountant, BirSky, figure that
if 30 per cent of Christmas shoppers
followed Miss Morgans advice, Birsky,
the drygOOdS stores would shut down
around Christmas, and all them sales
ladies would not only take a vacation
in the summer time, but in the winter
time also; and then the question is,
how is them saleSfAdies going to raise
money for their winter vacations?"
Miss Morgan would get up a sub
scriptiOn maybe" Birsky suggested.
And the proceeds after the expenses
Of collection were deducted would sup
port twenty-three six hundredths of a
for 6.0OS hours, Brsky."
Zapp concluded. (which the trouble
with them people that figure out the |
averages is that they don't consider !
human beings as men and women. but |
as fractions ausgereckOned to hun |
bred thOusandths yet. Also it's good |
thing TO figure out the averages on |
the percentages of people that set off |
fireworks and don't get burned, and |
the percentage of people that it |
wouldn't do a bit of harm to if they |
bought once in while for somebody a |
present, useful or otherwise. In other |
words, Birsky, If you're going to reck-
)n up the averages on anything, the |
best way is to figure how it will affect
)ne hundred one hundredths of the
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

follow. Former times if q retail dry
goods concern didn't got half their
saiesladies faint on 'em every night
for two weeks before Christmas, their
creditors would come down on them
and ask them to discount their bills.
Nowadays If cash girl gets head
ache, that's big already"
Birsky nodded sadly.
Christmas is dying out" he de-
clared. The people is getting too
wise, Zapp. 1t used to be that if you
wanted to push your stickers,-wheth-
er Ii was handkerchiefs, socks, neck
ties, oder gloves, all you had to do
was to wait till the first of December,
mark 'em up 80 per cent over the regu-
lar retail price for fresh goods, put
'em in red paper boxes, understand,
and your customers practically used
blackjacks on each other to get at the
counter where the goods was dis
played. Christmas silver articles was
also good sales. l seen butter dishes
go like hot cakes, which the salesladies
was warned not to dust them off NIT
feathers even, on account it might
scratch the silver plate and show the
brass underneath. But that's a thing
of the past now. And who done 1t,
Zapp? 1t was the Teller that invented
the saying: DO your Christmas shop
ping early"
who did invent iti" Zapp asked.
II should know who invented it,"
Birsky exclaimed. But whoever he
was. zapp, he put bigger crimp in
the cheap handkerchief business than
the Teller who invented rhinitis tablets,
because If you are doing your Christ
mas shopping arount the first of Octo-
Der when all them poor fellers that
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
UGH! CAL0MEL MAKES YOU SICK!
CLEAN LIVER AND BOWELS MY WAY
JUST Once! Try "Dodsons Liver Tone" When Bilious Cons
pated Headachy-DOnt Lose Days Work.

LlVen up your sluggish liver! Feel
me and cheerful; make your work a
pleasure; be vigorous and full OF am
Oition. But take no nasty, danger
GUS calomel, because it makes Won
SICK and you may lose days work.
Calomel is mercury or quicksilver.
which causes necrosis OF the bones
Calomel crashes into sour bile ike
dynamite, breaking it up. That's
"hen you feel that awful nausea and
cramping.
Listen to me! II you want to enjoy
the incest. gentlest liver and bowel
cleansing you ever experienced just
take spoonful OF harmless Dodson's
Liver Tone. Your druggist or dealer
sells you a so cent bottle Of Dodson's
Liver Tone under my personal money
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
WHISPERS UNDER THE BAN
Prejudice Against Facial Adjournment
Was Very Strong Some Gen.
turtles Ago.

Nowhere was there more preiudice
against boards than ut the Inns of
Court centuries ago. The BLACK
Books of LincOln's inn Of the six
teenth century are full of references
to offenders who were "fyned double
comenS durynge such TYNE as they
snail have any berde." This proving
ineffective, a whole batch of bearded
barristers was in 1854 "banysshed from
We howse," and shortly afterward n
judges order was obtained for the COM
pulSory shaving of some of the MEN,
Ders. The Inner temple benches were
not quite so severe, for a fine of 2Os
was the sole penalty imposed in 1855
Tor "wearying beardes of more than
three weekes growthe." The war
against bearded barristers continued
at the Inns of Court until the seven
teenth century.
Long after this, however, the preiu-
dlce against the unShaved barristers
remained. Vice Chancellor Ba-
con carried his dislike so far that he
always refused to listen to bearded or
mustached counsel, pretending that ne
could not hear them. Even now. al
though there are plenty of bearded bar
risters and X. C.'s, few have attained
eminence. The most brilliant excep-
ton was perhaps the late Judah Philip
benjamin. "silver-tOngued Benjamin."
who despite his mustache and Ameri-
can "goatee' earned the princely in
come of f35,OOO a year.-London
Chronicle.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
10 Clean White Paint.

To clean white paint that has not
been vanished put upon a plate some
OF the best whiting, have ready some
clean. warm water and piece of fan
mel. Dip into the water and squeeze
nearly dry; then take as much whit
Ing as will adhere to 1t, apply to the
paint. when little rubbing will In
stantly remove any dirt or grease.
Wash off well with water and rub dry
with soft cloth. Paint thus cleaned
looks equal to new and without doing
the least injury to the most delicate
color. 1t will preserve the paint much
longer than If cleaned with soap and
it does not require more than half the.
time usually occupied in cleaning.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
The Shoe Punched

y preacher ut the close of one of
ms sermons said: Let all IN the
house who are paying their debts
stand up Every man. woman ana
cIilId' with one exception, rose to their
ieet. Nov, every man not paying his
debts stand up The exception, a
careworn. hungry-looking individual.
clothed in his last summers suit, slow
~ assumed Il perpendicular position.
How is 1t. my friend" asked the
minister you are the only man not
able TO meet his obligatiOns?"
L run Il newspaper" he answered
meekly' "and the brethren here who
stood up are my subscribers, and"
Let us pray" exclaimed the min.
lister.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

runs summer hotels and bathing pa
vilions is saying to themselves: Now
1t gets warm Zapp, handkerchiefs for
colds are the furthest from your
thoughts. Also children whose moth
ers do their Christmas shopping in
September is apt to get school supplies
instead of sleighs, because shopper
amt got no Imagination, Zapp. She
Duys what's in season, and If she was
doing her Christmas shopping as earlv
as the Fourth of July, understand.
she would come home with Fireworks -
Say" Zapp said, Tipping the fingers
OF his right hand at Birsky, "storekeep-
ers amt allowed to sell no more fire.
works around the Fourth of July. IT'S
against the law"
Il know it," Birsky continued. "and
If people couldn't shoot off firecrackers
around the Fourth of July and couldn't
shop around Christmas, all II needs is
that 1t should be a suspended sentence
Tor eating turkey on Thanksgiving, and
the only pleasure We got left in Amer
lea is decorating graves on the thir-
tieth of May"
still, in way, it's a good thing that
christmas is more or less a thing of
the past" Zapp said, because when
you tried to collect bill from some
body around Christmas time, it didn't
make no difference if he was retired
from business except for 10 per cent
interest In bathing suit factory, he
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
THINGS WE NEVER HEAR

"No. did not resign. was fred
"Wife, I believe you need new
gown" ,
"Your bill r cry reasonable, indeed,
DOCTOR"
"None of our children ever say cute
things"
Our car has cost less than we ex.
pected."
'The plumbers have always been
very fair with u.s."
II did not marry him for love; I
wanted a position in society"
Il cannot answer. never talk with
customers while shaving them"
friends urged me to; / wanted the
Office"
1T was not hard luck. We were de-
feated because they were the better
players"
I've just permitted you to call, Mr..
Spendar, because you bring SO many
presents"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

back guarantee that each spoonful
viii clean your sluggish liver better
than a dose Of nasty calomel and that
1t won't make you sick.
Dodson's Liver Tone is real liver
medicine. You'll know it next morn
ing, because you will wake up feel
ing fine, your liver will be working.
your headache and dizziness gone.
your stomach will be sweet and your
bowels regular.
Dodson's Liver Tone is entirely
vegetable, therefore harmless and
cannot salivate. Give it to your chill
dren. Millions OF people are using
Dodsons Liver Tone instead OF dan
gerous calomel now. Your druggist
will tell you that the sale OF calomei
is almost stopped entirely here.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Irish Wit Triumnhant

An Irish waiter named Kenny WINS
noted for his wit and ready answers.
A party of gentlemen who were stay
ing at the hotel heard of Kenny's wit,
and one of them made a bet that he
would say something that Kenny
coulfnt answer at once.
y bottle of champagne was ordered.
ana the one who had made the bet
took hold of the bottle and commenced
70 open it. The cork came out with
a bang and flew into Kenny's mouth.
All" he said, that is not the~way
to Cork"
Kenny took the cork out 81 his
mouth and replied:
NO; but it's the way to Kill - -"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
McCLARYGRAMS

The people whom you allow to walk
over you will think just exactly as
much of you as they would of a good
doormat.
While one man is explaining that
he had hoped to do 1t" the one who
did it is telling someone how he
hoped to It,"
expresses itself not in words, but in
works that give TO others some sim
liar cause for thankfulness.
Even when misfortune Oyertakes
US, and we struggle in the midst of
real trouble, we can still be thankful
for our courage and for an outlook
toward better things.
1t is a discouraging thing the way
the people you don't like insist upon
doing for you the things you would
Ike TO have done by the nice people
who never think of them.
That man is a financier who can take
as much enjoyment out of making q
thousand dollars that he doesn't know
what to do with, as can the down-and-
outer In getting ten dollars from
home.
1t is quite right and proper to feel
the thankfulness we do for the things
we have; in addition to that, we ought
to be about ten times as thankful for
the mortgages and lawsuits, the corns.
cancers and Grabbed relations, and
other burdens that we haven't GOT
McClary's Magazine.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
HiQher Education.

Mrs. Brown called at the home Of
Mrs. Jones to talk over the fashions
and things, and somewhere about the
sixty-fifth lap of the conversation the
caller referred to the young daughter
of the host. by the way, dear" re-
marked Mrs. Brown inquisitively,
'where is Minnie? haven't seen her
for an age" Minnie is at college,"
proudly responded the fond mother,
and then added: "And I am so wor-
ried about her. / haven't had a let
ter for nearly two weeks" There
is where you make a mistake" was
the prompt rejOinder Of Mrs. Brown.
Instead of letting her go to college
why don't you send her to one of those
schoOls"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
What to Give for Christmas

Gifts for men: Tobacco lars ink
wells, shaving mugs, ash trays. match
boxes, combs, hat marks. handker-
chiels' watch chains, fobs, coat hang
ers' nat brushes, clothes brushes. bath
rooes, smoking jackets. pocketbooks.
Dill hles' cuff buttons, books, or sub
scrlptions to magazines and farm pa-
pers.
for women: Rings. chains, laval
heres' bracelets. hat pins, sleeve but
tons, manicure sets, jewel boxes. gilt
ciochs' caro- cases. hat brushes.
conios' toilet sets, toilet articles and
perfumery. fountain pens. silk or en-
oroidered waists, birthstone rings
hand bags, pictures, mirrors. or bank
books and bank deposit.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
GLOBE SIGHTS

But occasionally a soft answer gen.
crates wrath.
You probably know what you want
until you get it.
Some Of the finish fights are a long
time reaching that stage.
Youth gets more applause than mer-
II, but not so many dollars.
Much Of the worry continues to be
about things that never happen.
Nor is the public speaker the only
one who should know when to quit.
The endurance contest Is sometimes
put over disguised as entertainment.
1t isn't the woman who wears the
fewest clothes who spends the least
for dry goods.
Many people who hate a petty thief
are inclined to admire a crook who
plays big game.
Don't take too much credit for doing
your duty, the other course often being
the more difficult.
No man should 60 into politics with
out learning to discount what the op-
position says about him.-Atchison
Globe.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
HIGH COST OF LIVING

This is a serious matter with house
keepers as food prices are constantly
going up. To overcome this, cut out
the high priced meat dishes and serve
your family more SINNERS Macaroni
and Spaghetti, the cheapest, most de-
licious and most nutritious Of ali foods
Write the Skinner Mfg. Co., Omaha,
Nebr., for beautiful cook book, telling
how to prepare it in hundred different
ways. It's free to every woman.-Ady.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Whv Wood Rots

Many plans have been devised to
keep wood from rotting, and the best
means has been found to be the use
of some solution on the wood to be
protected that worms and microbes can
not digest. These pests attack wood
by the millions and soon eat away 50
much of the substance that the log or
timber is rotten" and falling 10
pieces. Creosote is a common proven
tive, and salt water also tends to ward
off the insect army.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

IIRISTMAS amt
what il used to
be-" Barnett Zapp
remarked, as he
sat opposite Louis
BirSky in WaSser-
bauer'S restaR-
rant.
Sure / know"
Birsky 5 a i d,
spreading a slice
of rye bread with
mustard as he
waited for an or
der of kreplOch
soup, with ge-
fullte tebeches to
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Holly Leaves.

The Christmas tree is still bearing
fruit.
It's all over. The Christmas stock
ing was hanged last night.
Everyone but the joke writer will
have something new for Christmas.
The bachelor will find hole In his
sock Christmas morning, as usual.
Christmas comes but once a year.
and the man with seven children and
nineteen grandchildren rejOiceth be-
cause thereof.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Christmas Crowds.

Nowhere is the good will of Christ
mas tlIne more evident than in a typi-
cally Christmas crowd. At almost
any other time of year there would
De ScowlS and even harsh words were
so many tender feet trOd upon, prog
ress so much delayed by those in
front and so urgently requested by
those behind.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Glad Tidinos

Mime. Zira, the fortune teller, must
have had some good news for you"
Correct" answered the man who is
sued from the mystic portals with a
broad smile OH his foce. Il own this
shebang. and business is so good she
has leased it from me for another six
months, rent paid liz advance"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Anxious to Help.

Mrs. Calder is terribly distressed
because she hasn't been able to de-
eide on a Christmas present for her
poodle. Why, she's actually on the
verge of nervous prostration."
That's dreadful. viii no one offer
a SUGGESTION
"Oh, yes. Some of the spiteful
neighbors would be only too glad to
purchase gifts that would shorten the
little darling's life"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

AAf iAEN Christmas comes. l never
" mind the cold.
IKE 10 get up prompt an go
70 school
- An do my sums.
.ltah Tie walks 'thout waitin to be
o. l Ike sleddin' better, as a rule
VI oulIdln forts But nothin' amt so
When Christmas comes.
give half
'.oNy 10 the baby. an take care
About the crumbs
.uh 10 make the little fellow laugh.
an dont mind his taggin' everywhere
an Aelp bein' littlel I'm not mad
"hen Christmas comes.
"neh Christmas comes, I don't forget to
My Shoes wipe. an scrub my ears
TIL my head huns.
All mother says, That's boys too good
TO live"'
but I'm not 'fraid of dyin'. cause I'm
-'O uIItient from always-only glad
When Christmas comes!
-Aolgall Williams Burton. in December
81 Nicholas
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Whenever You Need q General Tonic
Take Grnye's

The Old Standard Groves Tast.Ies.
chill Tonic is equally valuable as a Gem
erai Tonic because it contains the wen
Known tonic properties of QUININE and
IEON 1t acts on the Liver. Drives out
Malaria. Enr,ches the Blood and Build
up the Whole System. so cents
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
PENCIL POINTS

When you die the world will keep
right on revolving.
4 woman's color comes and goes &C
cording to her makeup.
Some men seem to think that dishon-
esty is the best-paying policy.
The man who loudly offers to bet
S1OD often has to come down to so
c.nts II he finds a taker.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
CIinQinu to an Ideal

Il told my boy that Santa Claus is
only a myth"
How did he take it?"
He didn't seem much impressed. He
merely remarked that every great and
good man has to be subjected to some
kind of unfavorable comment"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
No Good to Him.

Tommy Ito bareheaded German)-
Want to surrender, do yer? You amt
no good ter me like that! You 'op
back and bring your 'elmet wiz yer.
I'm going 'ome ON leave next week.
London Opinion.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Taking Chances.

Those stockings are very flimsy."
"All the girls are wearing them, ma"
= 'They might do to wear, but they
will never do to hang up as a recep-
tacle for Christmas presents, my
dear"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
COLLEGES for the Wounded.

With a view of enabling war-muti-
lated soldiers to become teachers In
the elementary schools, the French
government has opened special col
.eges for their rapid training.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Dont's for Parents

Christmas week don'ts for d.
terfamilias: Don't open bureau
drawers. Don't look into clos
cts. When the collar button
rolls under the chiffonier or the
bed, don't pursue it; it is better
to let thy collar go loose than
to risk the premature revelation
of the Christmas socks, neckties
or lace curtains. Be blind no
blind-and again. be blindi
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
What La LIP

nlckePs worth of ribbon.
A penny's worth of gilt:
Ano sakes alive, in minutes av.
DADS Christmas gift is built.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
TriHe Slow.

Does your husband never offer to
help you with the dishesr'
Frequently, about the time / am
ready to hang up the dishpan.
Vile COurier-Journal.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
SEEING SAINT,

papa, Ia like to see Santa Clans -
but If he found out that any little
ooy was looking for him, he wonId
promptly vanish" '''u
mats all right Pm going to rig
up the chimney as a periscona is
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
CAPUDINE
For Headaches

Try it and be convinced. Good for
aches In back and limbs also-Assists
Nature to get right and stay so. It's
Liquid-easy to take.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
c.,Iieb Waste of Coin.

Dear me, it's so hard to buy for a
man."
YES. I hate to spend the money
that way, too"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23
Foresight.

Father, what is foresightT
Foresight. my son, consists of re-
GREETING what yOu do before you do
IT,"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

Or. 3. F. Jackson,ce Celebrated Physician,
handed down to posterity his famous
prescription for female troubles. Now
sold under the name of "Femenina."
Price SOC and $1.00.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-23

Show girls work ON an average OF
from 8 to II hours a day.