The Redwood gazette., 1916-06-21
vious to their emerging from the shell
in which the embryo is encased?

vious to their emerging from the shell
in which the embryo is encased?
| "You can't kill germ by freezing
it" we are told. This scientific fact
accounts for the existence of some
young men, after repeated meals of
cold shoulder by the opposite Sex
Redwood Gazette.
Did you tell him this is leap year?"
New Ulm Review.
No, we didn't. We had plenty of other
means of defense very little occasion
to use them.
Redwood Falls has had many men clev-
er at turning disadvantage to advantage.
But the epitome of such cleverness was
reached last week when resident auc-
tioneer tried to make an unsuspecting pub
lie at an auction, believe that COW, suffer-
ing from lump-jaw, was really only vic
tim of that greatest Of all femme mala-
dies, a double-chin. That he was promoted
to the deceit by resident banker is al
so fact.
"The following interesting notice,
signed by the village marshal, ap-
peared in one of our neighboring ex-
changes: 81 have been instructed by
the village council to enforce the or
dinance against chickens running at
large and riding bicycles on the side
walk"
We go a step farther here and try to
impress upon chickens that they mustn't
even ride on the steerage Of a motorcycle.
Morton is either unfortunate in having
a "chief of police" who is fond Of show
ing his authority or she doesn't care to
have Redwood Falls attend her functions
Whatever the reason, the young people
who went from here to Morton last We'd
nesday evening were given anything but
a hearty and courteous welcome. Come
on up July 4, boys, and learn from us just
how guests can be shown a good time.
We muzzle kill-jOys on such occasions.
"Chauncey NJ. Depew perpetrated a
Ford joke at the Chicago convention
and emerged unscathed. He said: "A
Ford machine is like bathtub; ev-
erybody wants one and nobody wants
to be seen in it.'-DaWson Sentinel
1t doesn't seem possible that even an
"old boy like Chauncey would try TO pass
off something out Of the morgue like the
above paragraph, and it doesn't seem any
more possible that even Chauncey's dig
nifty would save him from prompt and per-
manent annihilation in case he did pull
off such thing.
We can't say anything, great-minded or
wise-not even Il told you so''--about
the primary election because, under the
eagle eye of our foreman and amidst dire
threats Of Eve won't be out on time" we
are driven each Saturday morning to ''get
out the copy" for. these editorial. CD col
lumns-and the primaries "ain't" till Mon
day So please don't think it's because
of ignorance that we don't make wise
primary comment-the truth Of the mat
ter is that we are ahead Of the times
(primary times at least)
After living intimately with one female
woman for more years than we care to
think about we've come to the conclusion
that this terrific nervousness which is
used by the feminine contingent as an ex-
cuse for all manner of outbursts and un-
pleasantness, is merely the polite name
for an uncontrolled temper. What hu-
man being, either man Of woman, means
when he says, Il have very nervous tenn
perment," is Il have the very old scratch
of a temper, and | prefer to make other
people uncomfortable rather than TO dis
cipline myself into overcoming it." But
we are so seldom honest-even with our
Selves
'Flowers great help to the table" head
lines the St. Paul Dispatch. Sure! Put
squatty bouquet of purple and yellow pan
sizes in the center, drop a few blossoms
with careless artistry here and there on
the cloth and Friend Husband will never
realize that the steak is done to crisp,
the mashed potatoes as lumpy as the road
to North Redwood, and not bit of life
giving pie lurking on the sidelines. A
single rose in shapely vase of cut glass
will make him forget that you've had bak-