davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
LUKE DI'LUKE SAYS

You can't always tell. 1t often hap
pens that the 1O0-pound man with the
200-pound wife is boss of the house. And
it often happens that the 100-pound
woman with the 200-pound husband is
boss Of the house
Always remember that the good fell
lows who are helping you to SOW your
wild oats will quit you when harvest
time comes.
Cheer up Even if you have only the
one suit Of clothes to your name. you
don't have to worry about the moths
getting into 1t and running it.
Every man should have about six chill
dren. They take the conceit out of him
by asking him questions that he can't
answer and keep him from imagining that
he knows it all.
Every girl imagines that she has a
perfect figure for low-cut waist. But
g. whole lot of them can't prove it.
The girl who sticks to the belief that no
man is good enough for her to marry Is
right; but she Is also going to be left.
Maybe the reason why your girls hands
are SO soft and white is because her
mothers hands are SO rough and
soiled from doing the housework.
Somehow or other, when an old maid
meets a newly married woman, the old
Ah0AO SaAAl iii0 q lima W eoAA eSoNs
1t is possible to commit crime and
hide your guilt for years. But it is diff
ferent with eating raw onion.
Many a man Is going to raise an aw-
full holler when he dies and moves into
his mansion in the skies and discovers
that that mansion has no garage at
tached to it.
Women have clubs as well as men
But you never saw a woman come home
from her club with her nose shiny.
A scientist announces that the coming
man and woman will be bald-headed
Well, they generally are when they first
come, aren't they?
We don't claim to know much about
etiquette. But we do know that it ISM
considered good form to pick your teeth
in a public place unless you. are wear
ing a diamond ring on the hand that
holds the toothpick. =
Every man has too many pockets II
he could carry an umbrella In his pocket
and a shower came up suddenly, hi
would be soaking wetA before he coult
frisk his pockets and locate the UNI
brella.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
THE GIRL ON THE NEW DIME

From the Pittsburg Post.
Recently postmarks reproduced an
artists remarks about the new dime.
This morning we have with US a New
York writer of the Sun, showing how
much conversation can be shed over
so small a thing as the tenth part of
dollar:
"One impression conveyed by the
new dime Is that of picture in
shadow box. In order that he might
bring out the face of Liberty the artist
has sunk the diverse side of the coin
howlwise and the indentation at tho
edge is deep, though graceful.
1.-THE concave surface gives play to
lights and shadows while the dime is
new. Hold it one way and Miss LIB
erty, darkly beautiful, swims in a sill
ser sea. Hold it another way and her
face shines brightly from the surface
of a Swallowed pool
1.-THE wear on the coin will not be on
the cheek of Liberty as it was in tho
old design, but on the edge of her cap,
which is more like a motoring helmet
than the former fashion in head
dresses for this important lady. The
cap covers her ears, and the wings on
it suggest that she is in sympathy with
the modern pace.
She is q fine looking girl; not the
cold Roman lady of the previous coins
age, but a person who might have come
from Vassar.
Her neck Is moro slender than that
of the old girl and her chin is fine and
strong, but not thick. 1t is easy to sea
where her nose departs from her brow.
1t is a nice little nose, even If it does
lack the tilt of magazine cover noses.
The mouth is small and human. with
out the grim lips of other Liberties
'aThe secret of this new Liberty's
beauty is youth. She seems to be 22,
whereas the elder Liberties appeared
to be at least SO and conscious of their
oycJ
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10

upon to enlist for the tax levy cam
paign and with Superintendent of Edu-
cation w. F. Feagin and the Alabama
illiteracy commission leading the
movement, a tax levy will be assured.
After county votes the special
tax, each school district in that county
will have the right to levy an addi-
tional tax not exceeding mills.
The city of Birmingham, constitut-
ing a school district. will not be slow.
it is believed. in awaiting itself of the
amendments provisions.
1t should not be many years before
illiteracy in Alabama disappears. But
there must be an unflagging campaign
of education until the percentage Of
illiterates is reduced to a minimum.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
A CORRECTION

From the Barbourville (Ky.) Advocate
In last weeks issue there was a no.
tice of the wedding of Mr.. r. B. Min
tor and Miss Myrtle Cole, and In the
hurry of things there was a portion Of
the account left off. in this that it was
not told who Miss Myrtle married. We
hasten to state that Miss Cole was
married to real gentleman, in the
person of r. B. Minton, man that We
all feel proud Of; ono who will mako
his mark in the business world and q
good living for his affable wife We
hope that an occurrence of this kind
will not happen again.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Gas to Replace Motor

Il have decided to equip the 1000
gallon street fusher we now have IN
service with a. gasoline motor instead
of buying a new battery" said Commits
sioner Truss. ITO buy a battery for the
husher, would cost the city approx
mately $1,000 in addition to the old bat
terry. find that we can replace the
battery with a gasoline motor for ap-
proximately 800 and still have the old
battery to sell.
Tho high cost Of things is shown by
the estimate I received on this new
battery less than three months ago.
At that time I could have purchased
new battery for $3.50. plus the old
battery. Today the price has advanced
more than 3S Ia per cent. figure the
city can save money by using the gaso-
line motor and have accordingly asked
for estimates on this new equipment"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
HEARTBREAKING.

The strain was simply awful
On people great and small,
Who watched the late election
And could not tell at all
II Wilson would be winner,
Or frosty Charles e. Hughes
One moment loudly cheering,
The next convinced they'd lose,
Ten thousand-thousand extras"
Were scattered DER the land;
We read great piles of papers
And could not understand.
The newsboys loudly crying.
Did almost split their threats,
While strong men wept" and others
Knelt down and prayed for votes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10

community he sees without embarrass-
ing himself by inquiring of the town
marshal.
AS Alabama's good road mileage in
creases the number of auto tourists
will increase. Thousands will pass
through Alabama this winter on their
way to New Orleans. Signboards
would interest them and make a good
impression.
Two citizens of Roseville ILL.,, made an
election bet, the loser agreeing to eat
crow on the main street of the town.
Business men provided bottle Of cham
payne. If the effervescent STUFF is taken
first the crow won't taste SO bad.
p
Neither Mr.. Wilson nor Mr.. Hughes
seem to have lost any sleep over the
presidential election. They are better OF
in that respect than many of their de-
voted followers.
y
North Carolina boasts of boy, four
years old, who smokes four cigars a day,
a pretty good indication that no will
never contract the cigarette habit
i u \
You would think that the man who
says gas for gasoline would favor SIM
plified spelling, but as rule he puts his
spelling up to his stenographer
!: 81 \
Caruso has a Weakness for wearing
fancy clothes and draws fancy salary
that puts sky blue suits and passionate
waistcoats within his reach.
y a
The "Hughsettes' may not be sorry
that they made campaign tour Of the
country, but nearly everybody else seems
to feel that way about it.
II s. ).
Depend on it. When automobiles get SO
cheap that everybody can afford to own
| a car, new and more expensive mode
of travel will be devised.
.
Although Virginia Is theoretically dry
the matutinal headache is by no means
thing Of the past in that grand old
commonwealth.
| The next time there is a presidential
election in this country the newspapers
will be chary about jumping to conclu.
| sions.
| When the south and the west get to-
/, gether on proposition the money powers
Of the east sit up and take notice.
| The city commission of Birmingham i.
| just like happy family. Some Of it,
members are always quarreling.
|
Paderewsl1i is not the only Pole who
is suspicious Of a kingdom of POLAND
made in Germany"
! According to Captain Koenig, for JOY
riding on the sea any craft is preferabl,
| to q submarine.
1 When the betting fever struck Wal
street the mere manipulation Of stock.
was forgotten.
Indiana temporarily lost its interest ii
literature while battling at the polls.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Praising what is lost
Makes the remembrance dear.
ALPS Well That Ends Well.

BEGINNING THE DAY-Gracfous
Father, give me brotherly sympathy
with the weaker travellers In this
pilgrimage of life. Teach me to en-
courage, not to criticize. Make me
to know that 1 I'm my own way am
also full of faults and that in their
circumstances 1 might be far worse
than they. For Christ's sake. Amen.
II. NJ. E.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Strong for Wilson

Il shall certainly be glad to know
for sure that the people have seen fit
to re-elect President Wilson" said Ferd
Caheen. II am strong for him, and 1
think the people of the United States
should at least show their appreciation
Of what he has done and give him an
other term. I do not see how anybody
can say that Wilson has not fulfilled his
policies during his administration. He
has kept our boys from going to war;
and he has kept this country out of war
more than once because he knew that
republican rule had left it in such
condition that 1t could not afford to
fight. I think it would be a disgrace
to refuse to re-elect a man that has
done what Wilson has DONE
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
GREAT IMPROVEMENT.

IT hear q reform wave struck CHG
aersville," remarked the travelling
man.
Yes" replied the village merchant.
And can't say that I'm sorry.
"Of course not"
1.-THE boys used to sit around my
stove all winter and spit tobacco juice
on it. They chew gum now"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
JUST A SUGGESTION.

The cup Of my sorrow is hlled to
OVERLOOKING" said tho melancholy
man.
1T wish I could help you" said his
sympathetic neighbor.
Maybe you can. I still have a small
glass that Is empty. Have you any
thing alcoholic you could pour into 1t
from a nonr enllable bother"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Many Counties will
Vote School Tax

NOV that the educational amend
. v ment has been ratified every
county will be free to hold an cleo
ton and vote a school tax levy not
exceeding mills. Some counties will
act promptly and jefferson should be
among the first. Others will wait. but
ultimately few there will be which
have not awaited themselves of the
amendment.
A 3-mill tax would increase Jeffer-
son county's school revenue for the
year 1918 something like $780, 900.
This would maintain not only full
school terms outside of Birmingham.
of seven months or less, as at present
but it would provide comfortable and
sanitary schoolhouses. In not MANY
counties are the buildings, as rule, in
worse condition.
This is a populous and wealthy
county and there can be no excuse for
it to house its school children in
buildings that are not we'll ventilated
or not thoroughly appointed in every
respect.
The amendment campaign was adj
mirably conducted Had it not been
so this vital measure would have been
defeated, for the opposition, strange
to say, was active and had money
enough to circularize the state. But
the friends of education, the foes of
illiteracy, had their heart in the
cause, and the get-together spirit
was strongly in evidence from the
start. The same workers can be relied
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
A NERVOUS WRECK.

you seem all unstrung."
And no wonder" replied the man
who made an election bet. During
the past 4S hours I have mentally
added $500 to my bank roll and sub
tracted $500 not less than thousand
times"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
THE ECsrATIC EDITOR

from the Geiger Times.
Under the mellow rays of a south
ern moon, we can hear the drip Of the
cane juice. And the negro songs come
floating dreamily through the Indian
summer nights,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A SOLEMN CERTAINTY

Whoever wins. election day,
The patriots must not sulk or frown.
To hold the situation down.
Washington Star.
Fear not The hungry pie brigade
VIII lend what help he may require;
And has it not been truly said
That office holders never tire?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Special Liquor Trains
For West Wirgimiams

~ RIDERS have been issued by the
W Chesapeake and Ohio railroad
providing for two extra trains on
which persons carrying legally labeled
whisky will be permitted to travel. The
trains will run Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday between Ashland, KY, a
'Swet" town, and Charleston, w. Va,
where strict prohibition is enforced.
According to the news dispatches,
each passenger will be permitted to
carry one suitcase filled with liquor,
if the case is not larger than "a by 13
by inches. A regulation forbids per-
sons from carrying liquor on regular
trains.
1t begins to look as if the "drouth"
in West Virginia is going to be con-
siderably lessened. Three trips week
with suitcase full of whisky should
enable the most ardent and persistent
drinkers to keep what is known in the
vernacular as a "skin full"
The Albanian who is limited to
two quarts of liquor every two weeks,
and dare not go anywhere with suit
case containing as much as three
quarts, lest he be arrested, may envy
the West Virginian who replenishes
his supply thrice weekly.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Apper Calming to
the Hired Dress Suit

the Hired Dress SWIG
q MOTHER item must be added to
G the high cost of living in this
country. The Greater New York Full
Dress Suit Parlors association, which
sounds as if it might be capitalized at
not less than $1O,o0o,000, has an
nounced that hereafter the hire Of
evening clothes will be 81 night, in
stead of $3.50, as in the past.
1t is reported that there is loud
wailing among the Eastside swells
who have been hard hit in the purse
by this pronunciamento. What they
are going to do about it remains to be
seen. The hired dress suit is a great
institution on the Eastside, much in
demand on formal occasions when the
Eastsiders edo the heavy" At this dis
lance it looks as if they NAV have to
fork over the extra SO cents or COM
nit social solecism by going without
'open-face clothes"
That there is more comedy than
pathos attached to the hired evening
suit can hardly be denied, although
the wearer usually presents melan-
choly appearance which sometimes
dampens the festivities. The late Nor
gan Robertson, sailor, Bohemian and
short story writer, who was famous
while still living in poverty and died
just as fortune began to smile on him,
described his experiences in his first
evening clothes.
Robertson was invited to attend a
dinner at one of the large New York
hotels. He rented dress suit and after
great exertion got into a stiff shirt
and the unaccustomed outer garments.
He acknowledged that he looked alb
surd. When he reached the hotel a
man who was standing in the lobby
talking to some of Robertson's friends
asked to be introduced to the writer.
When he extended his hand this fes-
tive stranger showed his opera hat
down over his ears. That was too
much for Robertson. man of tre-
mendous strength. He struck the fell
low a blow on the Jaw that knocked
him about twenty feet.
Strange to say, the two afterward
became friends.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Sigmb0ards i'm
The Small Cities

A N auto car tourist writes to the
Is y New York Sun suggesting that
such towns as are supposed to be on
the map, or are ambitious to be on the
map, should display on the main thor
oughfare signs or labels, as he calls
them, setting forth in large letters the
name of the place. His travels had
been mainly through New York and
New England and he describes several
towns through which he passed but
did not know their names until some
time afterwards. Two or three of
these towns were historic, and had he
known "just where he was" he would
have stopped awhile.
The automobilist who makes the
suggestion represents large class
who would appreciate signboards. Our
Alabama villages and cities of
the smaller size might find it worth
while to take the cue from this north
erner. Signs Of tasteful design would
be inexpensive. Every pleasure trav-
elar likes to know the name of each
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
ALABAMA PRESS

Talladega Home: The Ags-Herald Is
boosting a Sweet Potato" day in Ala
oama. A splendid idea, just SO politics
do not get mixed up in tho frolic.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10

Montgomery Advertiser: A Massa-
chusetts workman has been on one job
Tor % years and never has been on
time yet, he says. Ono of these days
he will be fired. II he doesn't watch
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10

Admission Star; Now we can place
these phrases on the shelf for awhile:
The peoples choice" 400 per cent
candidate" party principles" blum
ders Of the administration" "whis-
kerq"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Eighteen-Hour Limited

The nearest approach to the famous
Eighteen Hour Limited has been prom
Used the south in the new Panama Linz
tied" According to D. ]. Blake, city
ticket agent Of the Illinois Central, the
new train will be 'streak of luxury"
THE Panama Limited will be some
train" said Mr.. Blake yesterday. ut
will have shower baths, telephone serv-
ice before departure, barber shop, la
dies maid and several other features that
have not been introduced in the south be-
fore. 1t will run from Chicago to New
Orleans in % hours.
Although this train will not run
through Birmingham, the Illinois Central
is going to improve the Seminole Linn
tied and it will be the nearest rival to the
Panama Limited. which we advertise as
a streak of luxury"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
SECOND NATURE.

SECOND NATURE.
The enveloping movement is an i'm
portant part of military strategy"
Most military men seem familiar
with that movement"
"YesT'
I've never seen soldier yet who
wouldn't put his arms around a pretty
girl If he got half chance"
NOT GUILTY.
Friend" said the irascible man on
trolley car, I'D rather give you this
newspaper than have you reading 1t
over my shoulder"
You do me an injustice, SIR" an
swered the passenger behind him. st
have a cramp in my stomach that
makes mo lean over this way. I'm not
trying to read the headlines in your
darnsd old Newspaper"
TOO MUCH RISK.
What would you say II asked
you to marry mer'
"Why don't you ask me and ind
outr
Because idle curiosity IL always
getting somebody into trouble"
A PHILANTHROPIsT.
A certain type Of citizen
Deserves the highest praise;
He'll often lend you five" or ten"
And no objections raise.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10

Huntsville Mercury: The statement
that some industries are compelled to
pay as high as SIS a ton for steam coal
adds new value to the Muscle Shoals
power plant for the Tennessee valley
towns white COAL" as water power
is sometimes termed, is the cheapest
power on earth and electricity from
water power stands next
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
Heroes of Peace

If anyone thinks that bravery is dead,
he has only to be present at mine dis
aster to have this impression dispelled.
This is the opinion of c. H. Nesbitt, state
mine inspector.
Mine disasters are horrible affairs, and
we have been unfortunate enough to have
had two recently" Mr.. Nesbitt said.
But 1t is rather inspiring to see how
many brave men offer their services when
rescue work became necessary.
AT the Bessie mine disaster, there were
men from all over Jefferson county who
were ready to battle with the afterdamp
or any other danger that work in effort
to locate the entombed men might entail.
Officials from every large company in
this district visited the scene and offered
their kind offices.
ut will be two weeks before I shall
BIS able to complete my reports on the
two explosions. One must proceed care.
fully and slowly in such matters"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10

Opelika News: The Alabama soldiers,
who are on the Mexican border, seem
to be enjoying life, as has been indi-
Gated by numerous letters received
here at home. The climate out there Is
perhaps the most healthful on earth,
while the outdoor life that they are
living simply adds to the natural ex-
hilerating atmosphere They will re-
turn healthier men than they were
when they left.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-10
The Pink Boil Worm

None too soon has our national gov
eminent taken action on the pink boil
worm, a native Of Egypt, but recently
discovered in Mexico, 200 miles from the
border" said w. A. Morris Of Sulli-
gent.
Next to a famine in food, the great
est evil that could come to the world
would be a famine in American cotton;
and speaking seriously, this danger is
now imminent. The worms arrival on
the soil of the cotton states means dou-
BILE the trouble we are now having with
the pesky boil weevil The present pest
attacks the small squares, while this
new foe attacks the large squares. Thus
the avenue Of escape with possible part
crop each year would lessen. And as the
boil weevil first appeared in the region
of Mexico where the pink boil worm has
shown up, it seems impossible to head it
off from the United States. The situa-
ton may some day become so acute that
the government may prohibit the raising
of cotton for a one-year term, thus starv-
ing the two species out.
We'll may our southern farmers look
to diversification and live stock before
they are faced with this team Of de-
stroyers."s
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-11-17
Foreclosure Suit Filed.

Mrs. LA Kahn has brought suit
against Mrs. Nellie Blackman to fore
close a mortgage alleged to have been
given to secure two notes upon which
$5562,5O and interest is due. One OF
the notes, for $1562.5O, was executed
to Flora Simpson Rose, the COM
plant states, and wal assigned to
plaintiff. Walter F. Adams and Har-
nv Mcbride. who have leases on the
land. and BENZ. Lindsey and Linus
Anderson, who claim mortgages
against the property, are made parties
to the suit. Carter & Smythe are at
torneys for the plaintiff.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1916-11-17
Sues to Collect on Nate.

Susanna Barthel, through her at
torney in fact. Mark j. Barthel, has
brought suit against Clarence X.
Bland and wife, the First National
Bank of Hermiston, the Hermiston
Bank and Trust Co., John A. Dono-
van, j. H. Reid and r. L.. Sabin for
$500, interest and costs. She al
leges the Blands executed a note and
mortgage to her and that the Her.
mission Bank and Trust Co. by written
agreement guaranteed to take owe
the lan5 in case she was compelled
to ~foreclose. Donovan, she alleges,
bought the land from the BANDS and
assumed the Indebtedness. The other
parties claim interest in the land. W.
]. Warner and j. T. Hinkle are at.
torneys for the plaintiff.