The Detroit times., 1916-09-11
Advice to the Newly Married
~ Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. By Frank Crane)


Now, young folks, you're just fresh
married, you're as happy as June-bugs,
LIE seems one infinite, rimeSs custard
pie, and Messrs Joy and Gladness, so
TO speak, seem to have moved in to stay,
occupying the front room and being
present. at all meals.
Hence open up your ears and hearken
unto your Uncle Dudley while he exudes
few words of three-star wisdom
I'm not going TO give lot of advice,
but Just one piece, small enough to take,
to remember and to PRACTICE.
Not being a parson, | won't talk too
long, not being an auctioneer won't talk
too loud, and Tot being a hoss-trader I
won't say anything that is not so.
So just hold hands a spell, withdraw
your beaming eyes from each others
countenance, move your ears forward,
pointing toward your uncle. and listen.
You're to have trouble. Because you're
human. And man is born TO trouble as
the sparks fly upward, as the Scripture
says.
You won't always be happy. You'll
have your share of weeping. Your hearts
will quake when their turn comes
break, maybe You, too, will walk the
floor or lie abed looking red-eyed up at
the dark. just as your mother. father,
grandparents and ancestors on back to
Adam have done.
When that time comes | want you to
remember this one thing your Uncle Dud-
ley told you.
One thing
And worth a million dollars.
Ii is this.
Are you listening?
DON'T LET ANY TROUBLE GET IN
BETWEEN YOU!
The accent ia on the word BETWEEN.
All the trouble in the world is not 60
ing to bother you so long as IT is on the
outside
You'll have enemies, but none Of them
can hurt you if they do not get in be-
tween you
You'll have disappointments. bereave-
ments, dsillusions, failures, regrets. mis-
takes. Anglers, and resentments and you
can resist seven tons Of such stuff pro-
vided YOU stand together and don't let
any of it seep in between your two
hearts.
BE partners. Be allies and swear
never. either one Of you TO make sep
arate treaty with the enemy.
Don't have secrets one from the other.
Organize your own oath-bound secret So
ciety now. Lock yourselves in, and the
rest Of the world out, even darling
mother-in-aw.
Beware Of the Intimate Friend TO
whom YOU are telling things about your
welded companion. Said |. +. has brok-
on UP more couples than any other known
snake. Be your own Intimate Friends.
Gossip. tattle. and tell all you know TO
each other all you please, but not about
each other TO any third party.
Remember that Three is fearful
crowd when il comes to married folk.
The corners Of the Eternal triangle
are both sharp and poison.
When reverses come. or even poverty,
loss or debt just cuddle up closer to-
gcther. and you can laugh at them.
Don't let the darkness Of dark days
get in between YOU and separate you.
Don't let even your children, when they
come and hope there'l be lot OF them,
oet between you and ALLEVIATE you. mat
sometimes happens.
Remember-one thing only I've told
vou-write it down and hang it up on
your wall:
There's bitterness in this world, but
it can't make us bitter if it doesn't come
between u.s.
You've sworn "til death do US part,
and for better or for worse. Stick to IL!