The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1916-11-02
A SATELLITE
OF THE GODS

Principal character Senor Don Bull
Con FisherinO.
Satellites, bar tenders, nurses, press
agents, Indian Chiefs, etc.
Scene, Interior of the Hinderprize
Chateau.
Enter the Don.
Soliloquoy:
Here l stand on the threshold Of
achievement. The Lord cut me out
for a Doctor, but he cheated himself
and disappointed all my friends. But
l was bound to become a newspaper
man. That is at first. Then came
the consuming desire to represent my
people in the halls of congress. l.
dug up all the latest issues, bawled
forth my qualifications to my people,
assumed morals strange to me for my
nominations sake and my elections
eenefit, but the people, my people,
failed me. The people are asses. So
be it, But l would be Governor. Not
being able to evoke the plaudits of
the populace over my new baby, l
then determined. by the Gods Of Ho-
per, to become a member of the leg
islature and represent my people.
So here l stand. What do 1 stand
for-you and your babies and your
wives, and-are you registered? II
the people only knew me they
wouldn't turn me. down as they have
been inclined to do in the past. For
l have brains and am witty. Ho, Of
flee boy, come here, 'aint l witty? But
enough of this for am modest man,
and it i'll becomes me to Haunt my
learning in the face of the uncultured
masses. l am dweller on the
tnnc CnfnnfnnF
clouds, l sit on the titilating end Of
fleecy bit Of frosty atmosphere and
wonder why God made the world
without saying darn thing about it.
Vote for me, for l am for Fisher. You
know me. fellers."
A satellite enters. Most noble Don,
a delegation appears from the masses
to speak with you concerning your
policies"
The Don. Never mind, I'll do the
talking. l am the voice. l am mas
ter of expression. My father wrote
the dictionary. l bet you couldn't
guess who wrote the Bible"
Enter Messenger. "Sire, commit
tee wishes to ask what church you
belong to-
Don: What church does the COM
mittee belong to?"
Messenger. "Baptists. Noble Sire"
Don. Then by the Lordly Apollo
of Ancient Greece, am q hard SHE'LL"
Messenger. But you were Meth
odist last week, my lord"
Don. Curses! Must the dead rise
to haunt my holy ambition? Back
to your hole. slave and remember it
is the privilege of the great to shift
with the mighty tide of public opin-
ion. But bark, what is the noise out
side?"
Messenger. "It is the assembling Of
the Dopulace to Join in the parade of
heroes, my Lord"
Don. Have you got my hero's suit
ready"
Messenger. Eyes, my Lord"
Don. "very we'll, then, you may go.
exit messenger). Now for the SEN
sation of the period. Hark. I hear
the hum of the shouting populace. 1t
is I, Don Fisgerino, who is the cause
of huzzas. The King has come to his
own. 1t can not be called immodest
of me to step to the balcony and note
the seething thronE. Aha! They are
mighty in numbers. Hark. to the
rumble of the common voice. Fish
erion" Look at the vast assembiage.
Two nurses. the teller what runs the
pool hall, my ONCE boy,two compost
tors and three reporters. Aha, the
stenographer swells the thronE. 1t is
seemly gathering. But I must
h%ten to don my robes" puts on
hero's apparel, goes out and heads the
parade.).
Follows the beautiful description Of
the parade that appears In the fol-
lowing issue of the Hinderprize:
Arat-tat-tat, A-rar-tat-tat,
With a bright tin Sword and q high
cooked hat,
A curved smile and an eagle eye
Now mark him we'll. ye passers-by,
Mid trumpets' blast and rolling drums,
Proudly the conquering hero comes.