The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-10-04
(Prologue:)

1 lie; Scene, Union League Club of Moo Yawk; Present, Fifteen Billion Dol | lars, to wit, Wall Street, Invisible Gov ernment, Crooked Alliances of Crook ed Politicians (see Reel One), the Republican National Committee, Bill Taft, Teddy, and Charles Evasion Hughes.
 They are completing a two-reel Slap-stick comedy. Reel One, en- titled Eat Yer Woids" has been made. The actors-ham and other wise-have gone below to get on their makeup. Sam Fairchild is in the dark room re1oading his magazine. No, not Munsey's-nor McClure's. His "fllum'' magazine! The ihterregnum of five minutes between reel one and reel two may be used, says the handbills, as "a | chaser. Those of the audience who desire will be given an opportunity to wash their mouths and spray their clothes with Florida water-Eau de Cologne furnished free of charge for the Disloyals. For the edification of | those who choose to remain the fol- lowing gem from T. R.'s Canton (9) speech is flashed on the screen as a "still":
 'I see that MT. Taft yesterday al- luded to me as a DEMAGOGUE, A NEUROTIC, A FLATTERER, AN EGOTIST and as engaged in HONEY = i FUGLING all of you. wish to point out this to you: Four years ago MT. Taft had not discovered that I was fatterer, a Demagogue, an Egotist, and engaged in Honeyfugling the peo- | n1o r X- ACTLY AS I STAND NOW"
 Jimmy Reynolds, so runs the dope, had considerable difficulty in getting l this into the picture. Root, the Di- rector, arguing that such matter is irrelevant, unseemly, and undigni- fled, in a Slap-stick. Barnes, Pen rose, Shoot and Guggenheim overrule him, maintaining that it's no more | than right that this mud rose-cut gem of Teddy's be given to the peanut gal | lery for discussion. As Barnes aptly says, "It keepsya aguessin. For" he | says, Teddy doesn't deny that he IS | a Demagogue, or a Neurotic, or a Flatterer, or an Egotist, or begosh, that he's Honeyfugling all of us! He doesn't deny it a-tall, a tall. On the contrary, he says 'I stood THEN ex- actly as I stand NOW!"
 Even Candidate Hughes sees the joke and laughs uproarously. Lights! thunders Director Root. Make a 'still,' Sam, of Hughes seeing a joke"
 | If the actors haven't yet finished 1 their makeup, the gallery is booked to sing Hail, Hail, the Gangs All Here; What the Hell Do We Care? What the' Hell Do We Carer" After which, Taft, the Receiver of Stolen | Goods" is to be paged, while Pen- rose rises to point. out that Teddy aint no Neurotic even though an ex- President of the U. S. said he was; he's just a Laughing Jackass-fresh from the Blue Gum belt of Austra- lia." At which Pussyfoot Hughes is to rise and say: Little Boys, Little Boys, that aint the Issue! I beg you remember the Exigency. Anything to Wins Our Motto."
 | Should the actor men be not YET ready, Shoot is to lead. off with that grand old piff1e: ''The Old Bunch Is In Control Again." Meanwhile Nick Murray Butler passes the hat-sheer force of habit. N. B.-NOT the Dan- bury hat!
 REEL TWO, main title-E PLUR- IBUS UNUM.
 The second reeel is crowded with ''business," it's the big end of the Slap-stick; it's to get there with the punch and the Big Stick. As Pro- lessor Butler says, ."Its just gotta go big; if not, how can we make the Peepul believe that Irreconcilable is reconcilable
 "Is it done in the Movies?" asks Pussyfoot.
 That's what we're here for" shorts Wilcox. Don't tell yuh this things gotta go big? If it don't it's the epochal farce of American poli- tics, the crowning insult to the voters conception of political sincerity!"
 You see," says Pussyfoot, tits this away. Some people MAY refuse to believe that Ted actually kissed Bill Taft-or that they ct their crow. BUT-here's the point-we've jus gotta MAKE 'em believe we're united!"
 "Whadja mean united? says Joe Choate. a
 l "Joeie," says Charlie, "Im grieved at you.''
 "Yes, and I'm peeved at you," snaps Joe. Just thataway.
 | Wilcox raps for order.
 By this time the dressing rooms have cast forth the principals and ex- tras in their best third-act makeup
 Scene follows scene in quick suc- cession. Champagne-tinged violet rays flood the studio-Mumm's the 1 word. The spotlights siss and sizzle and sizz-now on the Steel, Harvester and Morgan faction. now on the Steal, Oil and Tobacco faction.
 Next is closeup of J. Pierp and John D.; followed by the subtitle: Two Souls With But Single $Thought.
 Of less $interest, but of quite as much sob-stuff value. is a scene, full of action, showing Georgie Perkins Treasurer of the Steel and Harvester Trusts, and Bill Finn, the Pittsburgh boss, playing mumblypeg with those angelic, Regular, Orthodox Stalwarts l-Penrose, Smoot, Gallinger, Crane Mckinley, Sherman, Cannon, and Root. Yes, Director Root, hisselt GOES in that scene.
 Penrose, by-the-way, pulls the peg followed by the subtitle: Never Was No Good at Mumblypeg Nohow; Write Checks. | You won't believe it till you see it.