Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1916-12-16
News and 9G teS f Fl the Service "
SOMEWHERE IN HAWAYEE'
BY coRPL. JAWBoNE

Ii covers an area of about four square
miles, is full of gulches, guaves, red
clay and few dog robbers. II is
garrisoned by six regiments, with a
full complimint of officers and min,
but no second lootenants. The post is
so large they don't have amy shave
tails
Whin / whit up there about week
ago it was in ohtermobile, the first
wan of those internal things | liver
rode in, and be the holy l want no
more. Whin we sthruck the main
road in the post the machine was
bumped from wan side to the other;
couldn't keep on the seat. thought
| had arrived in the Holy City. You
ought to see the min up there on
windy day They look like a lot of
Gowangomohawks on the Apache
reservation, with their red dust cover
ing.
Well, anyway, what | want to tell
We is this. Like all we'll regulated
posts we were sthopped at the main
gate by the guard and thorough
search made Of the ohtermobile for
contraband. Now, in the ould days
they would niyir. search the vehicle.
They always wanted to see what was
carried on the hip. Being an Guild
horse soldier, | wint to the cavalry
cantonment to see if ! could meet
with old-timers. But they seem to
be mighty few and they were over in
the Vets Hall, where | understand
they fight their battles all over again,
and, behave me, some of thin are en-
titled to another campaign badge for
this service.
Whin / whit by the carpenter shop
step ladders and wondered what
they'd do with all of them. | asked
wan of the artificers what use they
had for so nanny, and what do you
think he told me. He says, says he:
THAT the min in the cavalry now
adays we're of such small stature that
they were going to Issue each man a
step ladder so he could mount his
horse"
! did meet wan ould friend, Max
HCchstein; he the same ould Max
that was me bupkie in a.F" Throop
when we were in thesSioux campaign,
so l will have to till We the shtory
Max and / strolled away from camp
and whit scouting for wee hit av
hard shtuff and for which we paid
halfbreed two dollars in confederate
money. Will, whin thought Max had
taken little too much, we shtarted
toward the camp. We hadn't gone
twinty feet whin some rfnigade shtart-
ed shooting, and about the same time
Max fill to the ground. thought it
was all off with him and so hiked
to the camp for the first medico l
could find and that happened to be a
contract surgeon. Back we go on the
run. Max was still lying there. The
Medico made an examination but
could find no wounds. Then he put
his ear to Max's chist to listen to the
pulsation of the heart. He listened
for few minutes and thin looks at
me in viry wise way and says: His
heart is beating a little fasht, but ex-
ceptionally loud. fear there is some
thing radically wrong with that vital
organ" Will, thought I'd listen me-
silf, so ] puts my ear on Max's echist
and listened. Begorra, there. was a
funny sound. Ny ear shtruck some
thing hard. l put my hand in the
pocket of his shirt, and so help me,
Louis, l pulled out big dollar watch,
going for all it's worth. The medico
came near throwing fit whin he seen
it. Instead of a wise look, he had an
ingrown wan on his face. | gave Max
a kick. He grunted and jumped up.
He wasn't shot, only half shot, and
wanted a little shleep.
They have an ohtermobile ambu-
lance company up there, with up to
date gas wagons. suppose they
didn't have enough patients in the hos
pital so they thought they'd organize
this auto company, turn thin loose in.
the post so they could run down half
the garrison, fill the hospital and thin
ask Washington to appoint few more
master stews," or is it stewards they
call thin?
Only vance was l on sick report
and that was in Cuba / had been
shot in the leg at Ell Caney and sent
back to the hospital at Siboney and
the furst surgeon that got his lamps
on me directed that l be given dose
of salts. My, but they're liberal with
salts. No trouble at all getting amy
of that shtuff. But, oh, how econom-
cal they are with the spirits fermentl-
Talk about being up to date. While
| was I'D there / had occasion to walk
along the back road that passes the
corral, and there were parked near
the road a number of soup wagons
similar to those used by the belliger-
ent armies IN Europe. That's the
shtuff, serve hot meals in the trinches.
There's most livery branch OF the
service represented in the garrison,
officers, of all staff departments, but
no paymaster. Well he's really not
needed. The officers make out their
own pay vouchers and the min can
wait around until the 18th or 10th OF
the month and by this time the post
exchanges will have gotten in their
fine work OF tell you all about the
place I'd have to take week off and
then you'd spot the
IS. JAWBONE CORPORAL
Mrs William Whittemore of Pitts
ford, Mass, made pies from a Hub