davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-07-03

mo NnElnlAHh uAfc pkay"a tAN
Birds six times this season in Bal
timore end have succeeded in getting
Just half of them. which IS aot so
bad. Tho Flock comes here for four
games the flrst of next month and
there are going to be some warm
scraps out at the local park.
FRANKIE q. Menke IL advocating
masnates allowing fans to keep base
balls knocked up in the grandstand
and bleachers. He declares that some
day the moguls will awaken to the
fact that II will be good advertising 10
permit the spectators to keep tie pei
le. batted up into the stands
That would be very nne for the
fans but II would be only a mattar of
time before all Of the baseoall club
owners would be fling voluntary pc
tons In bankruptcy. The balls cost
Just sl2s, and II they were given
an ay every time they went into the
glands the Golfers would s"on be
drained. Loyal fans appreciate this
crosby from the clupovne~S ia this
direction.
Pending the investigation into the
scrap In washington Friday. Clarke
GrifYith and Captain Mcbride. Of
Washington. and Manager Carrigan
ana Catcher Agnew. OF the Boston
Red Sox. have been suspended In
definitely. Just what Ban B. johnson
Will do will not DO known until he
makes q thorough Investigation into
the row. However. no has made It
plain that no will not tolerate any
Sowdyism in tho American League.
ana he 10 almost sure to punish the
guilty parties severely. Although Il
ID . known fact that several OF the
clubs In the American are bslligersnt
towards each other because Of the
close race. II 70 no excuse for rowdy
playing. Nothing hurts the grand old
national psstime more than ungentle-
manly acts on the ball ffald by players.
y n locke - x tho North CafoliA4
League II skating on thin ice, II re-
ports from the Down Home state can
- helteve6s Il = saiA the& DURHAM
- ~ nra nEnH - r. nnn
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Shrewd PURCHASING.

Little seven-year-old Fred, who lives
in one of Zanesville's suburbs, had
been ailing and his mother decided
that he needed d dose of castor oil.
Fred was told that If he were to
take the castor oil without complaint
he would get five cents to spend for
candy.
Then his mother sent him to the cor.
ner drug store with Is cents-10 cents
for the oil and five cents for candy.
Arriving at the drug store, Fred de-
cided to buy the sweetmeats first, and
told the clerk that he wanted a nickel's
worth Of candy.
what kind of candy do you want?'
asked the clerk.
Gimme the kind you get the most
for a Nickel" answered Fred.
The clerk complied, and then Fred
said, rather reluctantly:
Nov gimme some castor oil. ]
want the kind you get the least for q
dime"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
One Mans Wisdom.

Growells-This morning l ordered
the iceman to discontinue his visits,
told the butcher to send us a supply of
salt pork, left word with the baker to,
send us bread at least three days DID,,
instructed the mail man to deliver.
our mail but twice a week.
Mrs. Growells-Why, John, what in
the name of all
Growells-And tomorrow morning L
want you to remove all the fly screens
from the doors and windows, remove
the springs from the bed, put some old
brickbats in the mattress and have the
water cut off from the bathroom.
Mrs. Growells-What is the matter
with you, John Growells, are you
crazy?
Growells-Perish the thought, Mrs.
Growells, perish the thought I have
never been saner In my life. l am
simply fixing things so we can enjoy
all the comforts Of a months ~sojourn
in the country without leaving town.
See?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Called Down..

They were enjoying q plunge in the
surf, he and she. He of New York and
she of Boston.
She of Boston accidentally got be-
yond her depth and it looked like q
cinch bet that she would eve view
the Hub" again through her specta'
Giles.
But he Of New York was on the
Job in the role of an animated life pre-
server.
She of Boston was about to make
her third and farewell disappearance
when he reached her side.
Hold on tight" gasped he of New
York, as he felt a pair of arms abou'
his neck.
Pardon me-" gurgled she Of Boston
as she expectorated a quart Of tn
e from her interior department
"but you should say hold on tightly
And the sad sea waves rolled on
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
REFRESHMENTS WERE ON HIM
Wall Street Man, APPLY Designated
by Smart Youngster, Had to
Acknowledge a Hit.

Samuel O'Keefe, a retired Wall
street man, is almost a daily visitor at
the Hospital for Joint Diseases, One
Hundred and TWenty-fourth street
and Madison avenue, New York, where
a friend is receiving treatment. There
are many invalid children at the hos
pital and Mr.. O'Keefe often takes them
candy, and on one memorable occa-
sion imported a consignment of char
lotte russo.
A day or two following the charlotte
russo festival he visited the children's
ward again, and was greeted by loud
shouts of approval. His arrival was
first noted by a little boy, said by the
nurses to be "as smart as q whip"
who shouted gleefully:
"Oh, look! Here comes the char
lotte rooster!"
Under the circumstances Mr.
O'Keefe felt that any further refresh
ments ought to be ION him."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Not Without Avail.
Cooper, stand up"

"Peter Cooper, stand up"
The raw-boned "poor-white trash"
holding his ragged hat in n hand
and the tail of his shabby coat In the
other, walked slowly up to the stand.
"Yes, judge"
"You are accused of profanity in a
public place."
II guess l did it, Judge. Niger was
tryin' to steal ma boss"
"But you should know better than to
take the name of the Lord in vain, Mr.,
Cooper"
ut warn't in vain, judge. You jes
ought ter have seen that niger run !
Case and Comment.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

Clatskanle, Ore, has decided to rent
out its city Jail, which has not been
occupied for more than a year. The
pound, unused for some time, also will
be rented to relieve the financial
stress that the city is now under.
The Fushun coal fields in Man
churla, which are being operated by
| the Japanese, IRE said to be the rich
est In the world.
A S0-pound baby arrived at the home
of II. b. Caudill of Indian Bottom, Ky.
not long ago. according to Doctor Ison.
| the attending physician.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Had Nothing on Youse.

VIII r. Youse, proofreader on a
Muncie newspaper, was hailed by a
friend as Youse was hurrying along
the street the other day, it being one
of the days that the state Sunday
school convention was in session there.
"Hey, Viii! Look at these nice bass
I'm taking to the house TO have baked"
shouted the friend.
"Yep, they're all right" said Youse,
as he started on, "but l got to get home
in a hurry-we're going to have six
| Sunday school delegates for dinner
indianapolis News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

Kansas has fewer ~milllonaires than
any other state in the union. IL also
has fewer paupers.
This country imported more than 81
100000 pounds of shelled almonds
from Spain last year, n considerable
increase over the figures for the pre-
yious year.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

There is a barber in Augusta, Me,
who has worked in the same shop con-
tinuously for A years.
New York city is both the largest
Jewish and the largest Irish city in
the world.
William L. Caldwell Of Chicago was
two hours late to work one day re-
Gently because his rooster, that called
him at six o'clock each morning, died
during the night.
An acre of land in Nova Scotia Is
said to have produced 500 bushels of
| potatoes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Private Quarrels.

Both chef and waiter were Irish and
excitable. The walter rushed back in
to the kitchen, red with rage.
"You've done it, now!" he said.
'"There is a customer kicking about the
potatoes. He says they're no good.
They've all got black eyes"
"Black eyes?" said the cook. "Sure
an If they have it's no fault of mine.
The bastes must have been fightin' af-
ter I put 'em in the potr'
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
TAKEN R o


Sleep is the final stage in the pro
cess of nutrition.
Horatio II. Carter and Carroll
Thompson. two of Belfast's (Me.) let
ter carriers, have completed % years
of service, and in addition have the
distinction of being the first two letter
carriers appointed In Belfast.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
ITCHING, BURNING sCALPS
Crusted With Dandruff Yield Readily
to Cuticura. Trial Free.

Cuticura Soap to cleanse the scalp Of
dandruff crustings and scalings, and
Cuticura Ointment to soothe and heal
feelings and irritations. Nothing bet
ter, Surer or more economical than
these super-creamy emollients for hair
and scalp troubles of young or old.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Just Like a Man.

This overheard conversation could
be re-related in two lines, but VIZ are
stringing it out a little longer.
IT wish you'd get your life insured"
said a lady.
"Why should II" growled the man.
'If you should die, you'd want to
know that ! was provided for, wouldn't
you"
"Yes--but I'm bound to outlive you."
There, that's just like you-always
looking on the dark sidei"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Reason.

abroad girls have chaperons-they
never are left alone with a young man
and 1t Is very difficult to get married
over there"
The speaker was Harrison Fisher.
He continued:
IAN old maid said to a pretty girl
at the seashOre:
what / saw on the beach In the
moonlight last evening shocked me-,
horribly. /, for my part, think it's
most improper for a girl to kiss a man
unless they're married.
".Ah,' said Nellie, do you? Sup
pose that accounts for your never be-
ing engaged"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Unexpected EXCLAMATION.

BanksL had a new experience yes
terday, one you might call unaccount-
able. | ate q hearty dinner, finishing up
with a Welsh rabbit, a mince pie and
some lobster a la Newburg. Then |
went to a place of amusement. | had
hardly entered the building before ev-
erything swan before me.
Bonks-The Welsh rabbit did it.
Bunks-No, it was the lobster.
Bonks-I think it was the mince pie.
Banks-No, | have a simpler expla-
nation than that. | never felt bette
in my life. I was at the aquarium.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
PAS Opinion,

"Pa," asked little Sammy Twobble,
"what is a misnomer?"
"My son. answered Mr.. Twobble.
whose idea of having a good time is
to take a nap in an easy chair close
to an electric fan, II should say the
average pleasure resort is a misno-
mer.''
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
DAISY FLY KILLER
HAROLD soMERs. $50 De Kaib Ave. Brooklyn, h.. !
What's on His Mind?

A man on an Evansville car carried
a cage containing a pigeon and canary
bird.
"Huh, well mated" remarked n of
the passengers.
about as well as some married peo-
pie I know" reioined the owner.-In-
dianapolis News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
BY L

but possessed by few-a beautiful
head of hair. If yours is streaked with
gray, or is harsh and stiff, you can re-
store 1t to its former beauty and lus'
ter by using La Creole Hair Dress-
ing Price 81. 0O.-Ady.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

IMITATION IS slNcEREST FLATTERY
but like counterfeit money the imita-
ton has not the worth of the original.
Insist on la Creole" Hair Dressing
it's the original. Darkens your hair In
the natural way, but contains no dye.
Price $1.00.-Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

SORROWFUL and prophetic army
mule stood beside a Soto cactus near
the American end of the long, dusty
road from Columbus, New Mexico, to
N~amiquipa, Old Mexico, so writes W.
o. Mcclellan in the New York Tri-
bune.
Down the trail from the base of the
punitive expedition swept a train Of
80 auto trucks. They were heavily
laden with the variety of cargoes that
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

1t is hard for a man with a griev-
ance, remarks Jerome, gritting his
teeth, to stick to the truth.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Trucks and Motorcycles

Mexican campaign shows their use
fitness over army mule and cavalry
horse Flesh and blood cant com
pete with steel and gasoline down
on, the desert and mountain trails
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

Don't even flatter yourself that you
have a thought which e anne to
anyone else.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

It's easier to agree with the average
man than It Is to convince him.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

Wealthy relatives sometimes enable
a man to deal In futures.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

MFN AND Kidney trouble preys
upon the mind. dis
WOMEN s%SIIss. sss lessen, y,1.
OF and cheerfulness often disappear when
the kidneys are out OF order or diseased.
Eor good results use DR.. KIlmer's
swamp-Root. the great kidney remedy.
Al druggists. Sample size bottle by Par
Gel Post. also pamphlet.
Address DR.. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton.
n. T.. and enclose ten cents. When writ
ing mention this paper.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

an army driver he would
be in the guardhouse for
a considerable period for
characterization.
More than once the army
in Mexico has been forced
Illegally but practically to
discipline some of the CT
william drivers. The most
startling incident of this
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Hay Tonnage

Tells fire story at Press PF0fH9s
and Sandwich Hay Presses are always fase
working money makers. II interested, write now. 70
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
Kisses on the Sly.

"We Plunkville girls agreed that
men who drink shall have none OF
our KISSES"
"How is 1t w~0rkingT'
"We suspect that some of the girls
are acting as o~sculatory b~ootleggers,
80 to speak."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03
THIS is THE AGE OF YOUTH.

You will look ten years younger if you
darken your ugly. grizzly, gray hairs BY
using LA Creole" Hair Dressing ADV.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

placed anywhere, a..
tracts and kills all
aies. Neat, clean, or
namental, convenient,
cheap. last9 ell
season. Made OF
metal, ean'tspiil or tip
over; will not soil or
injure anything,
Guaranteed Elective.
All dealers oreseni
express paid for s1.Oo.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-03

important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
CITY FEDERATION BOOSTS
FOR THE MUSICAL COMEDY

A special meeting of the city fed
Grafton of women's clubs called by
Mrs. C. NJ. Harger, vice president
had a large attendance yesterday
afternoon. The ladies were enthus-
iastic for the success of the must
cal comedy to be given for the bene-
fit of the Chamber of Commerce, to
fix up the club rooms as par ors.
Committees were appointed to
help along the show
General executive-M Mrs J. T. Mic
olay, Mrs. w. A. Stacey, Mrs. B. N
Gleissner.
Characters-Mr ]. E. Johntz,
Mrs. C. NJ. Troup. Mrs. R. B. Gem
mill, Mrs. B. E. Kelly, Miss Mary
Forney.
Musical-Mrs. c. w. Cans, Mrs.
Bruce Hurd, Miss Mary Giles. Miss
Anne Malott.
The rehearsals are moving, along
at a good rate and Mr. and Mrs.
Preston are very much pleased with
the talent they are working with
and have given the assurance of one
of the best shows ever given in
Abilene.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
"a TRUTHFUL MAN, DIOGENES"
Oh "IT PAYS TO ADVERTISE"

The fitting phrase in modern day
speech would be 1T Pays to Adver.
tise' or in the days OF Greece and
glory Diogenes and his lantern
would be the man of the hour, when
applied to the story Of lost and
found ten dollar bill in Abilene.
January 25 NJ. ]. Rosproy found a
bill of that denomination and after
keeping it for a few hours, expecting
the owner to advertise, he inserted
an ad in the Reflector once. stating
specifically that a ten dollar bill
had been found by him. Three doz-
en- persons called on him saying
they had lost that certain sum of
money in such and such a place. s.
2. Lehman, who lost the bill, final
" reclaimed It by stating definitely
where he had lost IL. which was
where Rosproy found IT, Rosproy
a reward offered by Lehman
md only asked that he pay for the
advertising. Ho, Diogenes, here is
truthful man.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
FIFTH DISTRICT CONVENTION

Concordia, Kan, February 5, 1915.
At meeting of the Republican
congressional committee of the Fifth
district of Kansas, held at Topeka
on the 10Th day of January, 1916,
the chairman and secretary of said
committee were directed to issue
the following call;
There will be a delegate conven-
ton of the Republican of the Fifth
congressional district of Kansas
held in the city of Manhattan on
Tuesday, the 14th day of March,
1916, at the hour of o'clock p. M,
for the purpose of electing two
delegates and two alternates to the
Republican national convention to
be held in Chicago, ILL.,, on Wednes-
day, the 18th day Of June, 1916.
The delegates to this COMPRESSION
al convention shall be selected in
such manner and at such time as
may be determined by the Republi-
can county central committees of
the respective counties of the dis
trict. The basis of apportionment of
the delegates for each county shall
be, one delegate and one alternate
for each two hundred votes or ma
jor fraction thereof, cast for ]. T.
Botkin. for secretary of state at the
November election in 1914. The
several counties will be entitled to
representation as follows:
Clay II, Cloud -, Dickinson 10,
Geary Z, Marshall IS, ottawa g.,
Republic IS, Riley IL, Saline IA,
Washington Is; total 1872.
The chairmen of the various coun-
ty committees are Instructed to GER
tify to the chairman of this con-
gressional committee, at Concor-
dia, the names of the delegates Sc
1ected, so that the lists may be re-
ceived by him not later than the
18th day of March, 1916.
BY order of the congressional com
mittee of the Fifth district of Kan
sas.
FRED W. sTURGES, JR.,
Chairman.
W. R. WELLS, Secretary.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
at Home

Buy a soc bottle OF Farris Heal
ing Remedy. add to it a pint Of Lin.
seed OIL to make a healing oil, oil
add to It a pound Of lard or a
pound of vaseline to make an oint-
ment. You will then have sixteen
ounces Of Healing Remedy for har-
ness and saddle gals. barbed wire
cuts. scratches. or any hurt or sore
where the skin is broken. Positively
guaranteed the best made. Make It
at home. BY so doing you have 81
worth for soc. C. s. KTaybilL Wtf
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
MRS. EMMA JOHNSON DEAD
Wife Of Asa johnson, County Farm
Superintendent, Passes Away
fFrom Mondays Dailyl


death that comes as a heavy
sorrow to the neighbors and rela-
tiyes was that of Mrs. Emma John
son, wife Of Asa Johnson superin-
tendent of the county farm at the
home on the farm at $3.50 this
morning. Mrs. Johnson had been
complaining for some time and the
past four weeks she has been con-
fined to her bed Three daughters,
husband, a father, one brother and
two sisters survive her. The funeral
services will be held from the home
Wednesday afternoon at $3.50 with
the DR.. Dean G. Dutton officiating,
and burial will be made in the
Abilene cemetery.
Mrs. Johnson was a member OF
the Methodist church and has al
ways been an ardent worker in the
ladies church societies. She was
admired and loved by the
inmates of the county farm and as a
loving mother she excelled The
leigh5oFs and friends join the sor-
rowing husband and daughters in
heir loss.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
Card Of Thanks

We wish through the columns OF
this paper to extend our heartfelt
thanks to our neighbors and friends
for the kindnesses and for the
flowers which they have extended to
us during the sickness and death of
our loving little boy. We pray Gods
blessing to rest upon you'll. and
n. z. Hartman and family.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
O. L. Thompson Dead

Orville L. Thompson passed away
Sunday morning at the home of his
mother, Mrs. Samuel Funk, 235 N.
Eighth street, Salina. Funeral
services were held at the Evan
gelical church at $3.50 Tuesday af-
ternoon. Burial in Abilene ceme-
terry.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
Public Sale

We, the undersigned, will sell at
public auction on the d. S. Engle
farm, miles south and 2 miles
west of Abilene, Kansas, / mile east
and Il miles south of Acme on
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
Get Together Club

Friday evening the Get Together
club and their families met at the
home of Mr. and Mrs. Walter Laney
for a social and oyster supper. For
ty-two people were present. The
evening was spent playing games
and popping corn. Much fun was
had when the men were wrapped in
sheets and purchased by ladies for
partners at supper. All enjoyed the
supper Of oysters and everything
good that goes with them. The crowd
departed at a late hour pronouncing
Mr.. and Mrs. Laney royal enter
tanners and wishing they might
meet with them again.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
HOUSEHOLD GOODS

Dresser, 3-burner Perfection OF
stove with cabinet and oven heat
ing stove. stove pipes, stove board
SIT. extension dining room table
half dozen dining chairs. rocker, 2
iron beds good as new, springs and
mattresses, linoleum, 2 cellar tables,
canned fruit, jars and other articles.
TERMS-All sums Of $40 and I'M
der cash; on sums over $40 a credit
of 8 months will be given on note
with approved security at 10 per
cent interest; If paid when due only
8 per cent will be charged. No prop
erty to be removed until settled for.
FREE LUNCH AT NOON
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10

every Sunday morning at $3.50 and
extend an invitation to all young
men who do not attend Sunday
school elsewhere to come and meet
with them.
Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1916-02-10
Gave Dinner for Guest

Mrs. John Baer gave dinner
Tuesday in honor of Mrs. Dan Ross
from Reedley, Cal The guests we're;
Mrs. George Dickson of Longford,
Mrs. Joe Copeland, Mrs. Ray Burk-
holder, Miss Sarah Krider, Mrs.
Frank Hollar, Mrs. Herbert Ross,
Mrs Harry Ross, Marie Poe, Fran
ces and Alma Ross, Dana Copeland,
Harold Poe and George William
Burkholder