davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Comfy In yu.tie. Court.

Two Vermont lawyers were trying a
case before a rural justice. and one Of
them. who represented the defendant.
took occasion to cite Massachusetts
tention. His opponent nudged the jus
tice and whispered: Look out! He's
trying to ring in Massachusetts, case
on you" The justice pounded on his
table and asked to see the book. 1t
was handed to him. He examined 1t
with all the concentrated wisdom of
ages III his countenance and returned
1t. saying: mfr. =. this here court
may not be lawyer. but 1t amt to be
imposed upon that way! That's Mas
suchusetts case. Judgment for the
plaintir."-Case and Comment.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Gay colorsd Birds.

For gay coloring the Pitta dOncinna
of BorneO and Sumatra takes the lead.
its feathers being every color Of the
rainbow. The bird of paradise runs it
close and IL in addition dainty
dancer. One species of this digs u
hole foot In diameter. over which 1t
places crossed sticks. as for Scottish
sword dance. and strews leaves and
rubbish over them. thus forming "a
floor on which It dances pas seul
But the jacana and ypecnha, both spe-
cies OF the rail. can go one better. for
besides being splendid little dancers,
they provide their own music the
while.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

II you dive make sure that the water
Is deep enough and that there are no
old tree stumps or anything Of the
sort that you are likely to strike. Care
lessness about this on Just one occa-
sion may prove very costly. You may
think Of this ninety-nine times. but
perhaps 1t is just the hundredth time
that there Is real need for you to think
Of 1t. This cannot be emphasized too
strongly. Every year there are many
deaths resulting from men and boys
diving into water that is too shallow.
and every one Of these could be pre-
vented by the use of just little eau
ton.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Buried Alive,

In the early history Of Japan 1t was
decidedly dubious honor to be closely
related to any person Of note. for one
Of the laws at that time decreed that
when person Of rank or Importance
died all immediate relatives must be
buried alive in a perpendicular posi-
ton around the personage's grave.
Their heads were left above the earth,
and thus they remained until welcome
death came to free them.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

1.-THE late o. Henry" said maya
zine editor, was always doing and
saying the unexpected thing That was
the secret of his charm. Mr.. Porter
to give him his right name-was once
prevailed on by my wife to address a
mothers meeting in Brooklyn. His ad-
dress. a brilliant one. began with the
announcement:
"'Few women know the full value Of
q datf4on.'"
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Mark Twain's Editorial.

The first paragraph Mark Twain
wrote when he began his editorial du-
ties with the Virginia City Enterprise
was this: "a beautiful sunset made
Beranger a poet. mothers kiss made
Benjamin West an artist. and SIS
week makes us n journalist"
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

ried large wreath. "Wot funeral?
There amt no funeral" the station
master said. Then it's swindle. an
impositionw Toole said. with fiery in
dignation. IT have come miles to be at
the funeral. Why do you announce
that you are going to bury St Ed
munds?"
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Honey has been known from the car.
Hest times. The Scriptures make men,
ton Of 1t. and pagan writers celebrated
its virtues. 1t was called 1.-The milk of
the aged" and was thought to prolong
life. Honey was also used in the EN-.
balming of the body after death.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

You tip the waiter. and I don't"
"Well?"
Yet he gave us both the same
amount of clam chowder."
you are unobservant, my friend.
He Dipped yours from the top and mine
from the bottom. where the Ingredients
are."-Louisville Courier Journal
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Three Brothers.

The following example Of ready wit
appears In "The Memoirs of Lord
Charles Beresford:" When In Decem-
Der. 1907. on the death Of Sir Frank
Lockwood. the seat OF York became
vacant Beresford stood for the cleo
tlon and was opposed by Sir Christie
pher Furness. afterward Lord Furness.
The contest was close and exciting and
eventually won by Lord Charles with
n narrow majority Of eleven. after two
counts, on a poll of over 1900 votes
He says:
My brothers. Lord William and Lord
Marcus. were helping me. Lord Mar
Gus accompanied me to meeting. and
told him that he must make speech.
II can't" he said. II don't know
what to say"
told him to begin. because he
would surely be interrupted and then.
being an freshman. he would certainly
find something to say. Lord Marcus
thereupOn rose to his feet, and voice
Immediately shouted:
"Who are yea"
1t was enough. The fire was kin
died.
"Who are WEI" cried Lord Marcus.
I'm tell you who we are. We are
three brothers. and our names are
Shadrach. Meshach and Abednego. and
We have come here to put out the
burning fiery Furness."
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

There is station on an English rail-
way called Bury st. Edmunds. Toole,
the actor. who took any pains for
Joke, dressed in deep black. went to
the station master and asked for tick
ct for "the funeral train" The station
master looked Mt the little actor. who
was wiping fearful eyes and who car
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
/ PRACTICAL HEALTH HINT.
Open Air Exercise.


Walk. walk. walk" urged
Benjamin Franklin. The United
States public health service gives
the same advice in a bulletin adj
dressed particularly to persons
who are more than forty years
old. Take daily exercise" says
the bulletin. Have a hobby
that gets you out of doors. Walk
to your business or to your dress
, maker. Walk just for the sake
OF walking. Join walking club
and keep your weekly score of
miles. Keep chickens. make
garden. play golf-nnything to
get two hours of outdoor exer-
else every day." The advice is
not new. but 1t Is sound and USE
full.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Practice Makes Perfect.

She-Am I the only girl you ever
loved?
He-Of course you are not. Do you
think would have the effrontery to
offer girl of your discrimination per-
fectly untried affections?-Richmo
Times Dispatch.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Transpose a portion OF the year,
A Eirlie's name will then appear.
The same transposed again will show
A plant that doth in Africa grow.
Answer.-May. Amy. yam.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Firearms are not allowed in boy
scout camps under any ordinary condi-
lions. They are almost never needed.
and they add approximately 1000 per
cent to the dangers Of camping among
youngsters.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

CouIoht Stand the Shock.
"COnfound the luckr'
whats the trouble now?"
II sent II poem to magazine. and
now see that 1t has failed"
TOO bad. But cheer up. Maybe
they won't sue you for damages
Boston Transcript.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Wicks-How did you manage to get
your wife to give up her vacation?
Wiseman-I gave her ported fern
for Il birthday present. and she won't
go away and trust 1t in the care of any
one else-Boston Globe.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Said he. in the parlor. to Kate,
"a kiss from those lips would be great"
Said she to the lad.
"If you try I'll call dad,
But he's terribly deaf here of late"
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Hope On.

Considering the unforeseen events Of
this world. we should be taught that
no human conditions should fill men
with absolute notwithstanding.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
The
Scrap Book
A Real Terror.

A Real Terror.
"Some women ure terrors," remarked
a Brooklyn man In whisper. some
ladies' being within earshot. and the
wife OF a friend of mine is sure one of
TINT species. was smoking In her
presence the other day. she having said
I might. and she shifted the atmos-
phere time or two before making any
comments on my efforts.
".Well.' she said, 4 don't object to
smoking. but l do Object to bad
cigar
II thought l had her dead to rights
on that and proposed to crush her In
her pride. I beg your pardon. madam.'
l replied, with charming nalvete.
your husband gave the cigar to me-
"But did that keen repartee knock
her out? 1t did not.
az don't believe you.' she said. with
cold assurance. My husband never
gave anybody a cigar in his life. !
know him.
"Of course further badinage on my
part was useless. and I backed OFF.
quite nbashed. And the sad. sad part
OF the story is she called the turn on
me both times. That's one reason some
women nre terrors."-New York Sun.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Not Fatal,

II hear there is an execution In the
house over the way
You don't say sor'
Yes. indeed. They're hanging some
wall paper."-Baltimore American.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
PROMISING,

! know that Tom ne'er pays his bills,
But still ! rather guess
Cause he's SO full of promise
That he will reach success.
Cornell Widow
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Appropriate Action.

II should see dinosaur I'll tell you
what I'd do:
The placid atmosphere I'D rip and quickly
dart therethrough.
You see. the dinosaurs extinct, and SO I'd
know twas true
n ! bcheld him twas because extinct ]
had grown too!
Judge
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
Fact and Fancy,

Uncle Luke. locally credited with
having once laid eyes upon General
George Washington. was parsonage
In town. A visitor came to stay with
the colonel In the big house and was
told OF Uncle Luke's distinction. The
colonel summoned Luke to prove the
statement.
Luke" said the colonel. you saw
General Washington once. didn't you?"
Luke shufiled uneasily on the step.
you remember seeing him. don't
you. Luke?" the colonel persisted.
mo. sub. All ain remember" Luke
answered finally.
You don't remember the colonel
exploded. why. you rascal. you've
said you did thousands Of tImes-'
"Yas. sub" Luke responded. "but de
fac Is. sub. All done jine de chu'ch
las week. an All recollec' dat was Mr.
Hoke Smith All remember seem. sah."
New York Post.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Oh. troubles sure to disappear
II you will smile and give a cheer.
RMS cure for trouble swift and fine
Applies to all excepting mine.
-Washington Star
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
ORIGIN Of Tea Drinking.

The Chinese claim to be the first
users of tea as a drink, and how It orig
mated Is told in legend TINT dates
from 1000 years before the coming of
Christ.
A daughter of the then reignirg SOW
ereign fell In love with young maj,
whose humble birth excluded him from
marrying her. They managed to ex-
change glances. and he occasionally
gathered few blossoms and had them
conveyed to her.
One day in the palace garden the
sweethearts met. and the young man
endeavored to give her few flowers.
but 40 keen WAS the watchfulness OF
her attendants that all she could grasp
was n little twig with green leaves.
On reaching the room she put the
twig in water. and toward evening she
drank the water in which the twlg had
been kept So agreeable was the taste
that she even ate the leaves and stalks.
Every day afterward she had lunches
Of the tea tree brought to her. which
she treated In the same way.
Imitation being the sincerest form
Of hnttery. the ladies of the court tried
the experiment md with such pleasing
results that the custom spread through
out the kingdom-and the great Chinese
tea industry became one of the great
est businesses in the world.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

My husband has the clearest head
of any man l ever met"
so my husband tells me. He says
there's nothing In it." Philadelphia
Bulletin.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

deem the most obnoxious guy
ever met
The one who wants to tell you why
You lost your bet.
Kansas City Journal,
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30
The Milkman,

The miikman is intelligent,
He takes the well known bun,
For always when he brings his milk
He leaves It In the sun.
Chicago Tribune,
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30

Let not soft slumber close your eyes
Before you've recollccted thrice
The train of action through the day
Where have my feet chose out their way?
What have learned. where'er I've been.
From what I've heard. from all I've seen
What know more that's worth the
knowing?
What have done that's worth the doing
Isaac Watts.
The Meeker herald., 1916-09-30


A record OF the conditions Of the
deer. moose and elk In the geological
park Of New York city proves that
their formidable looking horns and ant
lers. which are newly acquired each
year. are grown within four months,
The old horns are dropped In the
spring. The lnrgest elk in the zoo lost
both his antlers last year nine hours
apart on March 81. BY June p the
full length antler had grown. although
It was still soft or "in the velvet" The
dropping of the horn leaves small
circle OF skull exposed. Within week
this is covered with brown skin. Then
round knob appears. resembling
tomato except in color. 1t soon begins
to lengthen out into the horns which
are to come. the growth sometimes
amounting to nearly an inch In day.
When soft and growing tie horns are
full Of blood. After they have reached
their full length they begin to harden.
BY October the velvet has been worn
of by rubbing against tree trunks. and
the horns are hard and smooth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
Lepers on Molokai

From "Kalaupapa: the Leper Settlement
 on Molokai," by Katharine F. Gerould
 in the July Scribner.
 The technique of leper-segregation in the islands is admirably sane and sim pie. The great majority of the lepers are Hawaiians, though there are some Chinese. some Portuguese, some Jap anese, and usually a very few whites All officials of whatever sort through out the erritory-including policemen have, as part of their regular duty, to report cases or suspected cases to the board of health. Many cases so re- ported are. of course, not leprous, but IT the suspicion exists, examination is made Obvious, or even doubtful, cases are chen taken to the receiving station at Kalihi (near Honolulu) and are kept there under observation and treatment for six months. If they are declared nonleprous, they are returned to their homes at government expense; if the disease Is clinically present, they are sent to kalaupapa. Kalaupapa, even, is not the exile terminabIe only hv daatb that 1t has been called, for every year a. number of patients are discharre5 iron, the settlement itself. While 1t is un. wise as yet to speak of cures it is certain that the disease can sometimes be arrested, so that the patient is once more perfectly harmless member of society In such case he is discharged on parole, is only duty meing to re- port to the board of health once a month. The babies born at Kalaupapa are removed from their parents at birth to well-epuipped nursery, and come into no sort of contact with lepers thereafter. If, after year. they are still 'clean,' they are taken to Honolulu and placed in the homes there provided for them Gone for "nonleprous boys" one for "nonleprous girls"). They are cared for, educated, and prepared for self-support. If. when grown. they are still clean" they go out into the world and live their lives abong their fellow beings. The system of removing babies at birth was entered on only seven years ago, and it is too early for posi- tive statement; but so far, with one pos- sible exception (this being baby un- der observation at Kalaupapa when
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
Freshening Up

From COlllerS
 That garden hose is also emblematic of ,refreshment to the manipulator, for there is real rest to be found in springling ones lawn. The weary com muter, free at last of his office, comes home in the cool of the day and, with a sweet pipe between his teeth and his youngsters frolicking about him, gets out of doors and vets down the lawn. That is peace. Moreover, he feels a sense of proprietorship when the grass has been coaxed into profusion week by week ana blade by blade through the season. Of course, there are drawbacks; there may be no head on the water or the hose may leak But even so there is far more recreation to be had thus than can come to the bored city man who has paved streets about his dwelling. He can wet dcwn the sidewalk in the early morning, but some cities have ordinances prohibit ing the sprinkling of sidewalks after a certain hour. For one who will rise soon after the sun-and there is no bet ter hour for living when the days are long-is the acute joy of washing the dust from the steps and pavement and giving them thorough cleansing. A householder thus gets some of the same satisfaction which comes from shoveling away his snow. All in all, the spouting hose is benefit to r@re than the mere spot at which it is s-sNed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

FOR RENTING connecting rooms fur nished complete for light housekeeping.
 all conveniences; close in; low rent; also
 9 bedrooms. 2113 9th ave. 4-29-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
Flies in the Ointment

Helena Smith Dayton. in Cartoons Maga-
 zine.
 The truth about the vacations of ones friends does not come out on enthusias- tic souvenir postal cards. Next winter, when they are talking about the fol- lowing summers plans, the flies in the vacation ointment come to the surface:
 ''Of course the place wasn't much, and there was nothing to do, but they did set a fine table"
 If we had only had bathing facilities Mt Caterpillar wouldn't have been so bad"
 There was fine beach, but it was so hard to get fresh fruit and green vege- tables, and the mosquitoes were as large as this"
 "-and, one does get so tired of sea food"
 If there had only been some interest," ing people there"
 The worst behaved children you ev&r saw"
 Next time we'll go where there's mort going on."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
FARM AND TIMBER LANDS


 GREAT BARGAINS IN LANDS-Write and get free photographs showing great development along all lines going on in a new country and free descriptive literature about Bogalusa and surround ing territory. We will sell you 30 or 160-acre farms of new, uncleared land, and under your direction will clear and develop from 20 to 40 acres free of stumps, build dwelling :ouse and barn, put down well, plant grove of Sat suma oranges. peaches and pecan trees and cultivate the grounl for a period of time. Applications will be con sidered only from persons who can give some references as to financial ability to carry out contract Address Great Southern Lumber Co.,. Cut-Over Land Department. Box 1900, Bogalusa. La.
 6-4-30t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
By Hop

we were there), the children removed
 from their parents at birth have not contracted the disease.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

FOR SALE-Small established manufac- turing business showing a clear hun dred per cent profit on staple line; political changes elsewhere demand presence. Address Y-91 care Age-Herald.
 6-3O-3t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

ON account of leaving city will sacri- flee for quick sale well established dry cleaning business; clearing $75 per week. Address P. o. Box 1SS, Birming-
 ham, Ala 7-1-2t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

FOR SALE-Drug store, town of 5000, al-
 falfa country; four physicians, business of large volume and protitable; good
 reasons for selling. Address V-91, care Age-Herald. 6-29-7t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
Read the Ads on This Page and See Who Gets It
|ONE CENT A WORD|ONE CENT A WORD
BUSINESS CHANGES

RATES-One cent a word a day, no nd.
 taken for less than 25c for first inser- ti0n: Cash must acc0@Nany order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

FOR SAIE-Any suit in the house $14S5. Marc Link. 1911 1st ave.
 6-25-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
ONE CENT A WORD
FOR SALE

RATES-One cent a word a days no ad
 taken for less than 25c for first inser- ton. Cash must accompany order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
KODAKS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

WILLIAM H. SMITH, dentist, announces the opening of his office at 4o5 First
 National. 7-2-7t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
BLUFF PARK HOTEL

C-SH BUYERS. TAKE NOTlCE-$Is
 and $20 suits now $11.S5. Marc Linx. 1911 1st ave 6-25-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
PERSONAL

PERSONAL
 DRUG and alcoholic addiction success fully treated by rational and ethical methods at Hamilton Springs, famous summer resort. Correspondence confi- dential. Hamilton Springs Sanitarium. Lebanon. Tenn. 6-14-14t-eod
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
ONE CENT 4 WORD
WANTED

STOVES and ranges repaired by prac-
 tical workmen; gas stoves our spe- cialty. Phone Main 27S0. Call for Dan. 3-24-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

4O-ACRE tract, near city or Rirming-
 ham, on railroad; good land for fruit and truck; on improved nigh ways; low prices. easy terms. Can sell 10-acre tracts. Phone 5S90 Main. Owner, 411-12 Chamber or Com
 merce. 5-2-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

to lend on real estate at low rates of interest; bring your abstract. Leonard-Riley Co.,, FPS Woodward.
 5-30-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03

WE are selling out all of our trunks,
 handbags and suitcases at greatly re- duced prices; this is your opportunity to buy. A. A. Griffith. Mgr, 4O7 N.
 18th st.. Birmingham 6-25-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
FOR RENT-ROOMS

RATES-One cent a word . day, no nd.
 taken for less than 25c for first inser- ton: Cash must accompany order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-03
Classified Business Directory
Classified
CHIROPODIST

DUNCAN DRUG CO.,. corner Ave. an Nth st.. s. We rent kodaka 5-17-9
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1916-12-27
Warren Daniels D:c.;.

Orleans, Vt, Dec. 2G.-Warren G.
Daniels, u man we'll known through
out this locality. passed away this
morning after being in poor health
for the last two years. yet he was up.
attending to his work until two or
three weeks ago.
Mr.. Daniels was born in Westmore.
Vt, August 10. 1852. the son Of Will
come and Electa Daniels lie WIS
educated in the district schools Of
his native town.
He married Clara Atkins of Cabot
in 1887 and they have four children:
Wilmar Of Skinner. Me; I5Iecta. Gre
Ia and Percival. living at home Two
sisters survive him. Mrs. q. w. Brown
of Warren, =. H., and Mrs. j.. J.
Brown OF Bradford. VT. Tic had COLI
Quoted a general store for Il great
many years, being past master until
the year 1900. when he was elected
to represent his town when Mrs.
Daniels secured the appointment ana
has held the office even since. lie
was again elected TO the general as
Sembly on November last, and his an
timely death viii be felt Tn "a larger
circle than within the home and home
town. He had been twice clerk and
treasurer for % years. Always public
spirited and interested in the best
things He viii be missed nor only
by his fellow townsmen. but by The
people that come back each
year to this popular resort. The fu-
neral viii be held at the home on
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1916-12-27
GREENSBORO BEND

(Mrs. w. d. Hill. Correspondents
Mrs. l.. NJ. Hogaboom is quite sick
ut this writing
Mr.. and Mrs. Percy Brown are Wis
iting relatives here through the holt
days.
The Christmas tree at the school
house Friday afternoon was n success
I'M every way. The tree was filled with
presents and the exercises were a ere
dit to both pupils and teachers. A large
gathering Of parents. and friends were
present.
The schools arc having a vacation
until after New Years.
b. +. Nallencourt has resigned from
the position OF mail carricr on 4he
II. T.. -. route.
Miss Helen Slapp is spending the
vacation With friends in Canada.
Wallace Thomas is gaining from his
recent sickness.
The sunday school viii hold it's
Christmas tree at The church Monday
night.
The first hard snowstorm OF the sea-
son came Friday afternoon and night
accompanied by fierce gale making
the hill roads almost impassable.
e. l.. Adams is papering at Il. w.
Billiards.