The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-05-11
Tales of the Town

The fact that man can advertise
for a wife and get one is no proof
that advertising pays.
4
There is a possibility that the initia-
tive we have started in Mexico may
be followed by the recall.
The dandelions now gem my lawn,
But, ah, do not mind EN-.
You see, | couldn't beat their game,
! And 50 J wisely iined EN-.
According to Old Bill Misgivens the
funniest thing he ever saw was a
suffering man trying to teach a par
rot 10 swear.
! What we can't understand is how
the manufacturer can afford to put
75 cents worth Of pins in dollar
shirt.
When the heroine was shown on
the screen, at the movie the other
night. doing stunt of crocheting, or
tatting, or something, we heard lady
remark: "Wish they'd show that a
little longer. I'd like to get that pat
tern"
Bobby, do you know you've delib-
erately broken the eighth command
ment by stealing James's candy?"
"Well, | thought | might as well break
the eighth commandment and have
the candy, as to break the tenth and
only 'covet' it,"
It's wise woman who marries an
elderly man. When man gets so
old that his suspenders refuse to stay
on his shoulders unless they are
crossed in front, then he is usually
quite docile and has an ambition to
stay home at night
As we sat in our sanctum the other
day thinking of an easier life than
that of running paper, we concluded
that so far as Idaho is concerned the
barber has it over anybody else.
Neither flood, drouth, heat or freeze
IAN stop mans whiskers from grow
ng
Why is it that careless boy can
lrop half burned match in an alley
md burn up all the barns in the
,lock, while an abIebodied man has
o use up a box of matches to get
wood fire started in a heater that has
lraft enough to draw all the furniture
Up the stove pipe?
Little Anna was out of doors with
Ter mother in the dusk of summer !
vening, and was rather frightened
y the gathering shadows. At length
he noticed some flashes of heat light c
ING across the eastern sky and eX Z
laimed joyfully; God is dom to
ght the moon now; he's squatching
is matches"
A boy had his hand hurt in corn a
heller. He seemed very much wor- u
led while the doctor was dressing the a
,anpIed hand, and at last he asked; r
viii il heal up so that | can use my /
and all right" ooh yes, sure" the
octor said "But will be able to b
lay the piano after my hand gets e
,ell?" "Oh yes, sure" Gee, Doc, S
cure a wonder" said the boy. 81 n
ever could before" a
The mayor Of a small town was b
resented with a gold headed cane, j.
e was short, squatty mayor and b
Re cane was too high for him, so y
order to produce fit he cut off n
,e gold head. "Why didn't you cut n
or at the bottom?" a member OF d
lie presentation committee demanded, e
mere was uoNulllk NhN iiA''NNN' $500
at the bottom, that's why said the u
ayor"
It's strange what interest small S,
Tvs and girls take in boasting about ti
,e possessions of themselves and d
,eir families. Mollie, 9 years old, "a
nd Nancy, year younger, were try e,
NJ to outmatch each other at this p
anne. and Molhe was several points n
mead in the contest. "Oh, you should N
e my mothers FAM" she boosted, @
linking to make her victory complete Il
It's lovely-all hand-painted!" Nan 5,
: tossed a scornful head. Pooh! b
,e retorted. That's nothing. Sos il
lr garden fence o
The proprietor of fish store had o
aw sign. "Fresh Fish for Sale Here il
Whv saw 'here'?" said the first Gus
,mer ats unnecessary He paint ii
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