The Glenwood post., 1916-10-14
CAST OF CHARACTERS.

| COlO.
Time-Oh, not so long ago.
First Villager (happily)-Well,
there's plenty of room, anyway.
Chairman Newcomer-Ladies and
(singling out two or three individually
might add, gentlemen, l have the
pleasure Of introducing the next gov
ernor Of Colorado, Judge Julius c.
Gunter.
Small Boy-Hes a bum prophet,
what?
Mr.. Gunter advances, displaying
old-fashioned round cuffs and long.
sweeping, black Prince Albert)
Second Villager-He won't get far
In that. .r.-
Third er-Whaddyemean far?
He can run all right If he picks up his
skirts.
Second Villager-Yes. but this is q
neutral sack coat campaign. That
Prince Albert makes him look too
much like one Of the Allies.
Mr.. Gunter-I want you to 90 back
with me to the boyhood, the very in
fancy Of Woodrow Wilson
Small Boy-Do we get round trip
tickets?
Mr.. Cumberland follow me down
through the years with that great
statesman. Woodrow Wilson.
Cheers from combined Woodrow
Wilson club, while member holds stop
watch and later reports that cheering
continued for eleven and two-fifths
seconds.
(To make, a short story long. Mr..
Gunter here dwells feelingly on the
birth. boyhood, youthhood, early man
hood and past. present and phophesied
future of Woodrow Wilson. He de-
clared he would only make few scat
tering remarks, but 1t was notable
that he scattered them over a fifty
minute period. with very few commas
or semi-colons He referred touching
lily to the tims,,s when the White
House incumbent first appeared in
swaddling clothes. This caused vast
surprise to the W. Wilson club, that
body having indulged in the popular
fiction that its patron saint was like
q fly in that he had been born full
blown. Then the speaker carried his
audience down through the Wilsonian
life-through the nursing, teething,
crawling, toddling days-through the
barefoot, stone bruise, swimming hole,
spanking, school and college days
on, on to the present year. A. D. 1916,
and Of the U. s. Democracy A.
First Villager (anxiously)-Wh
does he think he's running for-gover
nor If the District of Columbia?
Second Villager-Well, weIl all be
running for the last car If he doesn't
hurry.
! First Villager-I gotcha, Steve And
he amt said q word about Colorado
yet. has he?
Third Villager-Ain't he got no is-
sues?
First Villager-If issues were Mia
CARA Falls he'd be yelling for
drink.
Harry Tedrow (wigwagging e1cit-
edly to Mr.. Gunter and speaking to
man in next seat)-Gunter ought to
talk about Colorado. He's allowed
himself to get, 20 far from home we'll
probably have to send an auto after
him.
Mr.. Gunter (oblivious Of anxiety in
bosom OF his friends) to
talk about Mr.. Wilson and to dwell on
things in his administration which ma
tional committee has selected ~ safe
70 dwell on Draws o. T. watch from
beneath curtailing folds OF Prince AL.
bert. "Ah, my time il up. I must
closs by urging you again to vote for
Mr.. Wilson" tBows and steps from
Dlst1oEm. almost escaping the waiting
AFAs Of Mr.. TSdhew.),o ,ass f-f.-
Small Boy-Dis ~ state sure amt
On no map wot hss Gct. s,s r.. b
Mr.. Tsdrow. ov'.bssianing to hoe
Q hard row. makes . successful dive at
the abseonding tails Of Mr.. 0untsr's
Prince Albert es"S 4' rs p"
Business OF .Tsdrow whispering lus.
tily into the Gunter ear:
"P.s.st! Choose! Prohibition!
M-m.m-m-uh-hunl Colorado! P.s-st!
Dry, dry! whee-se-se.yip! P-s-st!
-Colorado-Dry! Floo-ee.
eel" (Pushss Gunter toward plat
form. Candidate ID thoughtful, almost
despairins. but eye at last lights with
a gleam of belated understanding as
crowd starts to trickle from hall)
First Villager-Gee, he's coming
back.
Second vilager-Yeh; didje ever
hear OF the coal wagon driver who
drove over the man and then looked
around and hollered, Hey, there,
watch out" and the feller in the street
yelled, why? Are you coming back?"
Small Boy-see him hop to it agin,