davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-07-14
SIMPLE

The allies have at last compelled
Greece to take its medicine by the
simple and time-honored expedient
of holding its nose.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
EATING PAPER is NOT HARD
How Fanny Murray Outdid Feat Of
Won der Goltz, the German

II is with a mitigated commiseration
that one reads the story of how Van
der GOltz, the German spy, finding him
self recognized in Petrograd, spent
some hours eating two parcels of In
eliminating papers which he dare not
burn in the CRATE"
As feat of mastication, says the
London Observer, Won der Goltz by no
means holds the record. Paper is cas-
fly reduced to q pulp and swallowed
1.-THE ink acting as an aNpetizer), and
the only difficulty In this Csse was the
quantity. Leather is another matter,
but apart from meals Of hard-pressed
explorers there are authenticated in
stances Of meals Of the kind.
What may be described as a paper
meal de luxe was that of the famous
Fanny Murray mentioned by Horace
Waipole: Il liked her Spirit in an In
stance l heard of t'other night. She
was complaining of want OF money.
Sir Richard Atkins Immediately gave
her f20 note. She said: D your
f20! What does It signifyr clapped it
between two pieces of bread and but
ter and ate It,"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Claim tennessee for Huqhes.

Tennessee Republicans are more con-
tident of carrying t..c state for the ma
tional ticket than they have been in
years They are not so sure, however,
of winning the contest for United
States senator. but they believe the
governorship will go along with the
national ticket.
Col. Archibald Hughes of Memphis,
who viii be an elector at large in case
of Republican victory. is enthusiastic
over prospects.
ITS a sure thing that Hughes will
win this year, and Tennessee has a
better chance to 60 into the Repub-
lican column that it has ever had.
believe" said Colonel Hughes. ut will
be a straightout fight between the Re
publicans and Democrats, and when it
is remembered that Wilson carried
Tennessee in 1912 by only $4,000 over
Roosevelt and Taft, il can readily be
seen that change of a few thousand
votes would give the state 10 Hughes.
We expect TO bring about this change.
The prohibition question, which has
torn the state wide open in other gears,
will not be an issue this time, because
both parties are pledged to prohibition.
John w. Overall, who was United
States marshal for II years and now
is a farmer, has a first-class chance to
beat Governor Rye, and ! believe we
shall surely cary the state for
Hughes"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
SENATOR WALSH WAS WISE
He Declined to Discuss Robins
Charges Of Southern Control Of
Democracy.

Il do not pause" says Senator
Walsh. in very brief discussion of
Raymond Robins uncomfortable re-
marks upon the Democratic party, II
do not pause to inquire how far the
representatives from the South make
the policy of the Democratic party.
write its platforms, nominate its can
didates, initiate ard frame its legisla-
ton. direct the work of the depart
ments."
We congratulate the senator on his
discretion. One is not likely to pause
in handling a hot penny, end we be-
lieve the senator was wise in lot paus-
ing over Mr.. Robins reference to the
basic control of Democracy. The fact
that every important craftsmanship in
the house of representatives. save one,
is filled by a Southerner; that Champ
Clark Of Missouri. more Southern than
his state, is speaker; that Claude
kitchin of North Carolina is majority
leader-this is no matter for Senator
Walsh TO pause upon. If these gentle
men do not initiate and frame the
party legislation they ought to resign
and send their salaries to the CON
science fund; but no one win ask them
TO do that after examining the pork
barrel appropriations of the last two
congresses.
If Mr. Wilson. In the presidency.
Southerner by birth, tradition. sympa-
thies, and political philosophy; Secre-
tary McAdoo of Tennessee, in the treas
ury and the federal reserve board {:
Secretary Daniels of North Carolina,
In the navy. surrounded by bureau
heads of southern birth; Secretary
Burleson of Texas, In the post office
as patronage chief; Attorney General
Gregory of Texas, Secretary Houston
of Georgia and Missouri. in agricul-
ture; Senator Clark of Arkansas the
vice president of the senate; Champ
Clark and Claude Kitehin, and all the
chief chairmen in the house; Senator
Ollie James of Kentucky, permanent
chairman of the party convention-if
these gentlemen do not shape Demo
cratic policy, legislation. and admins
tration. they are a remarkable aggre-
cation of nonentities.
Senator Walsh does well not to
pause upon this topic.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Electric Wheel Chairs.

Electric wheel chairs similar to
those employed at the Panama-Pacife
international exposition last year are
being used successfully in Europe for
the wounded and crippled soldiers.
Invariably the conyalescent men pre-
fer to direct their own chair rather
than to have someone push them
about. One of these chairs, which is
of Swiss make and costs a small sum,
is equipped with a one-quarter horse
power motor suspended between the
steering and rear wheel. Current is
supplied from a battery of 10 lead
plate cells housed In three boxes be-
meath the seat. The battery Is of so
ampere hours capacity and provides
sufficient energy for a run of thirty TO
forty miles. Five forward and five
reverse speeds are provided. The
steering and operating mechanism is of
the very simplest.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Kansas Safely Republican.

Democrats win probably not have
the nerve to lay claim to Kansas this
year. Notwithstanding the Sunfower
state was the original Progressive
state and is the home of the chairman
of the Progressive national commit
tee. Victor Murdoch. This was the
statement Of Gen. c. O. Pingrey of
Pittsburg, Kan. prominent lawyer
and constituent of Representative Phil
Campbell.
There win not be any large Progress
sIve vote in Kansas this year" de-
clared General Pingrey. my estimate
is that Kansas will go Republican by
10000. and I think my figure is little
conservative at that"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Mr.. Vance Mccormick, chairman OF
the Democratic national committee
blithely gives ii out that his party
may count on receiving one-fourth OF
the Progressive vote. From now on
we shall hear good deal about the
Progressive vote, but so far as the
drift to the Democrats is concerned. it
will be pure guesswork. A very small
proportion of Democrats belonged TO
the party originally, and surely the
happenings of four years have not
been of kind to create Democratic
sentiment. The principles for which
the Progressives have stood have been
in direct conflict with Democratic poll,
cles.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
RooseveIt,s One Course.

There is no doubt at all that Mr..
Roosevelt will during the coming cam
paign give active support TO the can
didacy of Hughes and Fairbanks. The
choice is between Hughes and Fair
banks and Wilson and Marshall AS
an intelligent and PATRIOTS man and
as in all essentials Il Republican. Mr.
Roosevelt has but one course.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
The Beneficiary.

Professor Digs has just succeeded
10 deeiphering an ancient papyrus
given up by half a dozen savants."
"Well, what good will that do hui
manity?"
perhaps it won't benefit humanity
In general, but 1t will enable Profess
sor Digs to sign a few more lecture
contracts"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
A Qualification.

You go to church more frequently
than you used to-"
Yes. And apart from the instruc-
ton / derive a great deal of satisfac-
ton from my attendance. It's a great
comfort to be where people sing and
play fine music without anybody's
spelling it by putting in ragtime words
or wanting to dance"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Before a political gun has been fired
the Democrats ask Mr. Hughes: "What
would you have done had you been
presidentT' 1t is quite likely that
should the Republican nominee speak
up he will inform the friends Of his DO
litical adversary that he r. no; dealing
in hypotheses. but with facts concern
ing the future.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Mercy exclaimed Mrs. Digs.
The baby is chewing ON your pocket
edition of Epictetus."
Indeed" replied Professor Diggs
with a proud and happy look. Let
the child alone. 1t is seldom that
mere infant shows such pronounced
taste for the classics"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Their Second Tbouob+

The wise men Of the Democracy.
whose business 1t is to invent cam
paign arguments. were shocked at the
sacrilegious invasion of the federal
court by the Chicago convention.
That is to say they were shocked I'M
til they happened to think of the NOM
ination of Alton b. Parker In 1904.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Time,s Revenues.

THE authorities wouldn't let me
wear my new bathing costume SAN
the queen of musical com dy. 'They
said it was too riskay"
"And you had to throw it away"
"0h. no. III wear it in the show
next season. Then they'll pay money
TO come and see it,"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

1--WE been told that every cent Dub
waite makes goes on Mrs. Dubwaite's
back"
'"That isn't So"
I'm glad to hear it,"
Don't / see Dubwaite smoking
stogies every day that he buys him
self"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Little Lemuel--Say. paw. what is
the difference between a statesman
and a politician?
Paw--A statesman, son. is a poll
tician who has made his pile and
politician is a statesman who is still
poor.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
DENMARK.

Conservative circles in Denmark are
! eagerly discussing the question wheth-
er the United States government in ne
| gotiating for the Danish West Indies,
has really seen fit to use coercive
methods, or whether the present Dan
| iSh government told a deliberate lie
when it explained the sale of the
islands as having been forced through
by threats on the part of the American
government. 1t is regarded as great
humiliation by the intelligent Danish
people that the Danish government
should have beer forced by America
not only to negotiate for the sale of
the islands behind the back of the ma
ton, although the definite promise had
been given at an earlier date that no
new negotiations should be begun
without full publicity, but also to issue
official denials of negotiations at
time when these were practically COM
pleted. The general opinion in Den
mark is strongly inclined to believe
that the declaration made by the DAN
ish minister of foreign affairs is a very
clumsy attempt to save the govern
ment from being swept to its doom by
the strong wave of popular indignation
against both the cabinet and the rigs
dag. Outside a circle of politicians
bound hand and foot to the govern
ment there are few who think that
threats have been used by Secretary
Lansing, and there is a rapidly-increas-
Ing demand that the cabinet should
come forward with documentary
proofs of what is generally considered
an insulting accusation against a
friendly foreign government. While
many patriotic men always have OPP
posed the sale on patriotic and sentl-
mental grounds, even these men real
lie that in the present circumstances,
and especially In view OF the fact
that Denmark would be unable to de-
fend the islands, IL might be wiser to
sell them to the United States. What
is resented is merely the underhand
methods used by the Danish govern
ment, which for many weeks, has de-
iberately deceived the nation. estab-
lished a censorship which is absolute
~ unconstitutional and has lowered
the reputation of the country in the
eyes of the world by submitting, If
the official explanation is correct. to
d.ctation on the part of a foreign state.
The stiffening of the British block
ade regarding American travellers Is
evidenced in the treatment accorded
the dinavian-American liner Fred
erik VIII, which ended its voyage here.
1t left New York Cd July 20 and reach
ed Kirkwall on August A, where It was
thoroughly searched. All mail was
seized. Hans Lagerlof, with American
passports. formerly connected with the
Swedish embassy in America. now in
business in New York, had $4,000 in
gold taken. He was handed a re-
ceipt. and will make a claim through
the American minister In Stockholm.
The Danish steamer Ydun. Freder-
ikshavn. Upland, for Copenhagen. is
reported to have been seized by a Ger
man torpedo boat and taken to Swine
muende. Aboard were 80 children re-
turning from holiday In Upland.
The Danish steamer Danevang,
bound from Haparsnda, Sweden, for
Hull, has been sunk by submarine in
the North sea.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
ono Thlnn He overlooks-

President Wilson writes that the
service the militia are performing at
the border lis an honor to them and
a necessity to the United States" That
il never should have been permitted to
become a necessity he negIects TO say.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

The Democratic tarif commission Is
merely weak Imitation Of Republican
thunder.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Conversational Pitfalls.

First Girl-You remember Kitty
Fowler. don't your
Second Girl--No.
First Glrl-Oh, you must remember
Kitty She was the plalnest girl In
Blankville. But forgot--that was af-
ter you left. s.i
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Vance Mccormick shows how little
he knows of national politics when he
announces that he capture OF the
spite vote is his principal aim.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

The foreign policy Of this admins
tration is based upon the idea that
This week should not remember what
last week accomplished.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
SCANDINAVIAN NEWS.
SUMMARY OF IMPORTANT HAP.
PENiNGs IN FAR OFF
NoRTHLAND.
ITEMS FROM THE OLD HOME
Resume of TIE Most Important Events
in Sweden, Norway and Denmark
OF interest to the Seandinavians
In America.
NORWAY.

A "hOme TO Norway" movement is
sweeping over Norway at the present
moment. The great emigration of
Norwegians to the United States
which during the past so years has
drained the country of young labor
ers and girls from the farms, has
never made itself felt so much as in
the last two years while Norway has
been endeavoring to become more and
more self-supporting and more indie
pendent of foreign imports. Although
since the outbreak of the war indus
tries have grown in all parts of the
country, this is not enough. Farming
must be raised to a higher standard
and more acreage devoted TO the rails
ing of grain crops. The Norwegian
government is trying TO assist the
progress of farming by the granting of
cheap loans to farmers and providing
them with inexpensive lands for cul-
tivation. Although the number of
farmers has increased recently, diff
culties have arisen owing to the lack
of farmhands, many of whom still
prefer to seek new homes in America,
although wages for farmhands of both
sexes are almost as high as they are
in the United States and better than
anyN here else in Europe. The press
all over the country is devoting much
attention TO this subject aad strong eff
forts are being made to change the
current of migration and bring back
from America to Norway at least some
OF the farm laborers and women en-
gagged in agricultural pursuits who
have in recent times left Norway. The
idea of beginning a campaign in Amer
lea with the object of making young
Norwegians there acquainted with the
promising prospects in their own coun-
try is rapidly spreading. One society
with the title of New Land has been
in existence some time with this pur-
pose In view and also for providing
land to be farmed by peasant youths
desiring to start for themselves. An
other scheme has been started by big
Industrial man who needs thousands
of men for his water power enter
prises with the view of inducing the
various industries to appoint agents
in America to hire Norwegians there
for employment in Norway and to as
sist them to return TO their native land.
The most recent government census
shows that of the population of $500
600, some 10000 are returned Norwe-
gian Americans, LOO of whom were
born in the United States. The ma
jority of these people have taken up
farming on their own account.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Sufficient Cause.

"What caused Jones to resign from
the presidency of the Don't Worry
club?"
"Triplets."
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
The German Mind.
German

Knicker-what is the German
mind?
Boeker-lt is composed of field gray
matter.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Commanders of the Russian subma-
rines which torpedoed the German
steamer Syria in Swedish waters and
attempted to torpedo he German
steamer Elbe in the same region, have
been removed from their posts. accord
ing to an announcement made by the
Russian government in reply to Swed-
ems protest The russian note says
the commanders of the submarines
were mistaken in thinking the boats
were outside Swedish territorial wa
tiers. 1t expresses regret over the in
cidents and assures Sweden that Rus
STA is anxious to avoid any act which
might violate the neutrality of Sweden.
Miss Maria Lovisa Wall has wilivd
$4,000 to charitable institutions in
Stockholm.
The war department is out with a
recommendation that the ministers
with the army should be clad in uni
forms similar to those worn by the Of
ficers. This is regarded as necessary
for practical reasons as well as in the
interest of discipline.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
t4uahes vIoIates tha Rnles

II certainly ls contrary to ali the Old
rules to find a presidential candidate
calling Pork 10y name and denouncing
IL.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

homely girl is always willing TO
admit that pretty rival hasn't any
sense
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Indeed 1t Does.

Telephones are great time savers,
aren't they?"
well, that depends upon who calls
you up"
Some men never go to church be-
cause when the fishing isn't good the
weather Is bad.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

According to strict Democratic logic.
one mismanaged term deserves an
other.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

The Norwegian steamer Gaute, the
second of three vessels laid down at De-
troit for Norwegian interests. sailed
from the yards of her builders in the
Detroit river yesterday for New York.
via the Welland canal. Upon arrival
at New York several thousand tons of
relief supplies for Belgian war suffer
ers will be taken aboard. The first
Norwegian vessel built in Detroit was
the Gisela, which departed some time
ago. A third. the Vestland. will be
turned over TO her master in few
weeks.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
1t is impossible for any woman who

is w ell and who
has never suffered
to realize how these
poor, suffering wo-
men feel when re-
stored to h e alth;
their keen desire to
help other women
who are suffering as
they did.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

A merchant can get along without
advertising and so can a wagon with
out grease, but IL goes slow.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Daily Thounht.

Independence now; and independ-
ence fOrever.-Daniel Webster.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Cupid is a good shot, but he bags
some poor game.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
WHY WOMEN
WRITE LETTERS
To Lydia E. Pinkharn Medi-
cine Co.

Women who are well often ask '.Are
the letters which the Lydia E. Pinkham
Medicine Co. are continually publishing,
genuine?" care they truthful 2"
why do women write such letters 2"
In answer we say that never have we
published fictitious letter or name.
Never, knowingly, have we published
an untruthful letter, or one without the
full and written consent of the woman
who wrote it.
The reason that thousands of women
from all parts of the country write such
grateful letters to the Lydia E. Pink
ham Medicine Co. is that Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound has brought
health and happiness into their lives,
once burdened with pain and suffering.
1t has relieved women from some of
the worst forms of female ills, from dis
placements. Inflammation, liberation,
Irregularities, nervousness weakness,
stomach troubles and from the blues.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Bad handwriting is often used to
cover lot of poor photography.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

The Norwegian steamship Ragnarok,
from Goihenhurg for Rouen. has been
sunk in the North sea. Her crew was
saved. The captain expressed the be-
itf his ship had been destroyed by an
,nfernal machine,
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
SWEDEN.

The great Swedish athletic games
held In Stockholm July 8 to IA were
the greatest athletic event In Europe
since the Olympic games on the same
field in 1912 and by far the most i'm
portant event of Its kind in which the
three Scandinavian peoples have ever
taken part. Many hundred of the
best-trained athletes of the three coun-
tries were present TO contend for hon
ors for the respective lands in prac-
tically every branch of sport. Large
contingents of visitors came from Nor
way and Denmark and on the opening
day IL was estimated that about 90
600 people were present. Before the
contests began there were patriotic adj
dresses, the national hymns were sung,
the flags We're saluted, and the large
crowd listened attentively TO a state
ly poem written for the occasion by
karlfeldt. one of the best-known of
present-day Swedish poets. One eve
ming was entirely devoted to a concert
on the athletic field inside the 0lymp-
ic stadium by chorus of 1000 voices.
Love of home and country was the
dominant note through it all. The
group of athletes marching into the
field presented a magnificent exhibit
tfen of perfectly developed and stately
young men. One was struck by their
tall and erect stature and wonderful
precision of action. Several European
athletic records were broken during
those days in Stockholm. In former
years Sweden has had an ul1uestioned
lead in athletics in Scandinavia, as
was proven by her remarkable record
in the Olympic games four years ago,
but the recent contest revealed a de-
eided Improvement among Norwegian
and Danish athletes and it was evil
dent that Sweden will have to look to
her laureAs.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

The Norwegian steamer Amanda. of
1888 tons gross, which was reported
on August Z to have been sunk, has
been towed to Neville bay. Her hull
Is considered a total wreck, but ar
engagements are in progress for salvag-
Ing the cargo. The crew is reported to
have been landed
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30
Sold.

1--WE sold our pup"
"What did you sell him for?"
"Why, er-he bit holes in the car
pet."-Punch Bowl
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

Overheard in the Zoo.
Eagle-How are things with you?
Owl-On the blink.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1916-08-30

The Danish steamer Danevang,
bound from Haparsnda, Sweden. for
Hull, has been sunk by a submarine in
the North sea.