The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-08-11
THE HIRED MAN

II am awfully slow about my house
work. | don't mean to be but | GER
tainly am. | just neer can get a meal
on time. What is the matter?' Answer,
That is easy enough to see You cook
one thing at time You put on your
meat, and then after a while you put
on the potatoes. Then when these are
done, you put on something else.
When it is done youput on some
thing else more, and when that's about
done you think of something else, and
go and put it on. After a while your
first stuff is cold and then something
else is thought of, and on it goes
while you take another nice long wait.
| saw a woman the other day who
moved around as deliberately as one
please, and yet she got dinner in no
time. l noticed that she got things
on the stove as quickly as calmness
would allow, and the whole mess was
cooking at the same time. think that
is your trouble.
"Since the various churches are just
so many organs in the one body of
Christ, like we have various organs in
the human body, don't you think that
it is the unforgivable sin to disconnect
all these organs and maintain a di
vided church?' Answer: you are
quite a theologian. I have used this
same logic. only modified, to good
purpose, but let us not forget that not
all the organs of the body are stuck
to one region of the body. They
are scattered here and there where
they can best serve the body. 1t
might just be that these churches
are all actually in the body of Christ,
and placed as it has pleased God. You
know some organs in the human body
are almost useless and uncomfortable
in print. For instance, there is the
spleen. Of course there are adenoids
that grow unbidden. Some of our
churches might just happen to be
adenoids or one of the uncomfortable
in the body of Christ. Others might
just be the spleen, etc, etc Whenever
a reformer is tearing down things, he
must have something better to offer,
even when he is after churches.
What does the Hired Man consid-
err reasonable wage for a preacher?'
He should get forty cents an hour
for the actual hours he puts in al
prayer, or sweat, or worry, or work
in his chosen line and should pay a
fine of fifty cents an hour when he
is not doing one of these four things
What is this fox tail we have grow
ing around in so many places" An
swer: by rights you ought to ask q
farm expert this question, but here
is my answer. 1t is a run-our grain Of
some kind. You know we have run
out people. We have turnout stocE
and run-out chickens, etc etc. A run
out person is about the last end O
the limit. He is simply fox-tail com
pared with millet or Hungarian
wheat or barley. When man or wo
man marries one of these run-ou
persons. that man or woman has come
just as close to getting what he wanted
as the hungry critter does when h,
shoves his mouth into a wad of fox
tail thorns. When two turnout per
sons marry you simply have rattle
snake grass or skunk fodder. Their
is a fox-tail religion. 1t looks gooC
before it heads out, but 1t is good 70
nothing but to be burned.
There was man from Namp
named Black;
Who put six kittens all in one sacl
And put the sack down
At the house of Brown,
But Brown, he sent the kitten
right back.
There was farmer named Stove
Who watered his land with a shove
And took too much.
From a Mr.. Butch
And Butch hit him quite hard will
his shovel.
A preacher in Caldwell name,
Horner
Contended his church had corne
On salvation.
Like tarnation!
Because God hain't give No body N,
corner.
A grille in Caldwell put on he
old white shoes
And got out her old white dress, sh,
used
To wear sometimes,
In former times.
And said to her ma. I'm abused
Il was keeping steady company will
fellow who had very old common
horse and buggy. Another fellow will
a good driver and new buggy wor
me. Now nicer fellow still with /;
Ford wants to cut out the last of thu
other fellows. What should be m,
course in the matter?" By all mean.