The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1916-05-31
HIS GOOD ADVICE
ANONYMOUS.


about Brodwaiser. He was as amiable
and well-meaning a little man as ever
wore felt insoles and chamois leath
er chest protector But people in
general hardly appreciated his good
qualities. The first time that Smith
saw him he was standing at the edge
of a roadside excavation for gas pipes
watching the deliberate movements OF
4 laborer who was ostensibly engaged
in throwing out gravel. As Smith ap-
preached he heard Brodwaiser say
My man. II you would grasp your
shovel with your left hand little
nearer the blade of your implement
you would find 1t a better fulcrum for
the leverage OF your right and be en-
abled to raise more earth with sub
stantially the same eXertion."
The man stopped and looked up.
"Pfwat's that" he asked.
Brodwaiser repeated his advice and
the man surveyed him for moment
or two with whitening contempt.
And to blazes wild ye an yer full
crum!" he said at last. "Gwan away
home wild We an yer beverages, We lit
tie doughfaced. lantern-jawed idjut.
Talk to me about implements an I'll
shut we in me dinner pail an kape ye
there till we Farm manners. so ! will.
Gwani"
Brodwaiser Redeemed and moved
away in silent dignity. Smith felt
sorry for him and expressed his sym
patty. oh" Brodwaiser said, 81 hard
" expected anything but abuse. One
gets little thanks for good advice,
notice"
II was a windy day and before they
had got very far a sudden gust re-
moved Smiths straw hat He recov-
cred 1t with some difficulty and was
rather out OF breath when he rejoined
Brodwaiser The latter had waited,
and as Smith came up he said: IF
! were you | would buy one of these
hat guards. They can be obtained
for a mere trifie at any hat store, and
the expenditure is repaid a thousand
times by their saving OF temper, to
say nothing OF the possibility OF the
hat being blown beneath the wheels
of a dray."
I've seen them" Smith said. You
don't wear one yourself. | notice"
It's unnecessary" he replied. my
hat never"
The wind took 1t as he spoke and
sent IL careering down the street. final
ly landing It in a puddle from whence
he rescued II dripping with mud and
water Smith could not help saying
that in high wind II was a good idea
to hold a loosely fitting hat by the
brim with a tenacious clutch. but
/ Brodwaiser seemed unconscious of the
delicate sarcasm of the remark. so
much so that when they arrived at
| Smiths front gate he called Smiths
I attention to the fact that It creaked on
! its hinges and recommended the ap-
! pIication of sweet oil as remedy for
the unpleasant sound.
He was a near neighbor Of Smiths
and soon after that first meeting he
called on Smith informally, as Smith
was wedding his flower beds. On that
I occasion Smith became indebted to
I his visitor for two pieces OF valuable
information-that tobacco burned be
I meath a rosebush covered with a cloth
or something OF that sort to keep in
| the smoke had a discouraging effect
upon the plant parasites known as
green fly. and that a porch OF suffi-
cient width on the west front of his
cottage would afford grateful shade
against the rays of the sun in the
afternoons
/ He was a veritable encyclopedia of
! acknowledgements at a loss for a lit
tie suggestion on any subject. Until
Smith learned that Brodwaiser was a
bookkeeper for a firm OF glass import
ers he imagined he must conduct the
Helpful Hints" department of some
newspaper.
Smith overheard him in the meat
market one morning instructing the
butcher in the art of meat cutting.
That amt nothin', though" said the
good-natured butcher. with fat smile.
when Brodwaiser had left Hes give
me pointers on preservin' eggs in their
original new laidness by dippin 'em
in lime an water. I'll bet he taught
his grandmother to suck EN-.
trimmed a sirloin for him the other
day an when ! threw the suet in the
box under the counter he says: I
7hd think you'd use the fragments
of meat in some sort o. way Std O.
wastin' 'em. II you'd put the best OF
EN- In your sausage machine with
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