The bee., 1916-10-20
FIHNEeAN's PHILOSOPHY.
Purslne the Heart.

Which " them7 All iv them. He
smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
freshin' Jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on horn an ivrythin' falls for ut.
II the people call him liver so soft, Lit
tie Samuel had no quicker ear. An for
sacryficin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocricy's shield an exceedn'
great reward.
"Tis his Presbyterian brlngln up,
I'm thlnkin' Furst he adopts a policy;
thin be thries to justify it, thin he
sanctiies it wild phrase, while a choir
iv Deshurvin Dimmycrats sings n
hymn. An there ye are. Justification,
Adoption an Sankty-Gcashun.
"The choir med great harmony whin
| Jim Smith, George Harvey an Billy
Brine was all i'm ut. But wan be wan
their Vices cracked an they passed out
" the life iy the great Idayllst.
Harvey wint back to editin an Bill
Brine wlnt in search iv the Howly
| Kale. McCombs was canned, because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing a
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
/ on Tariff ragtime But Wudthrow die
grated them all. Wild fwhat say ye?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross.
Ohio. mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club, whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
\ Now the choir has what Wudthrow
calls the vital stuffs iv life Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
'Wudthrow is fond iv music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced a Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear a sound.
"Well, wan night I'm August the Colo
mel come tiptoein' in through the base
ment dure.
"'Hows the game, ColonelT says
Wudthrow. $685. the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up a few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an alb
sent air.
"'Ain't l got the full dinner-pail'sT
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. AN
that's forgot the first two year and a
half says House pleasantly. Amt
KEEP 'em out O. warT axes Wudthrow.
Part o. the time says House, rubbin'
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. Amt my voice our
greatest liquid assetT axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says
House, but lot iv suckers can't tell
4 asset firm an li'bility,' the Colonel
says.
,"'Fwhat are We drivin' atT says
wilson, four flushing a little.
"'Arre We watchin' the striker says
House. Half a millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
"Well, Sir, he left wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. 4 hear he says, in a low
sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is to me as the Vice Of Car
negie PensAun.' Oh he says, thrillin'
in ivry nerve, must indade sacryfce
wan more idol says he, 'on the altar
iv me Counthryg says Wudthrow.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says; an
the Tariff for Rev-noo,' he says; an
all me friends, beside says he, six
teen per'fy good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enough? he axes in
agony. But will purge me Heart iv
ivry persnal fought says he, startin'
for bed. An before he retires he takes
a Heart Purge iv his own invinshun
the way it'll wurk while he sleeps. l
dinnaw f'what the purge is. 'Tls a
secret.
an the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted a gr-reat sacryfise Of a pur-
rinclple, dear to his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged sacryfses. So
he sends for House. Colonel says
he, "F'what pur-rinciple d'yr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincy?" he axes anx-
iously.
Whisper says the Colonel And he
said wan wurd in WudthrOw's ear, and
faded silently away through the dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stud
spellbOund. Thin he burst into a
whoop; The Ram in the Bushes, cries
he wild tears iv ~.
"'Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryhse was solemny-ised
at the Capitol.
"The precision started fom the
White House wild the Prisldint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
an a box iv Safety First matches in
tn other. He was followed by coon
bearin' four gold pans, and behind
came four Union Chiefs rldin' on milk
white steeds followed be a group iv
Railroad Prisidints, Stock Holders,
Farmers, Shippers and Consumers,
loaded wild chains. After a short ser
mon to Congress on 'Purgln' the
Heart the Prisldlnt laid the Ram on
tn alter an imprissiyely stabbed It
wild the four gold pens while the choir
sang Holy, Holy, Holy. The Prisldlnt
bandad the pOl1 mems IN tho fOur chiaf,