davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

A man likes to add few years on to
it SO he will be young looking for his
age. But q woman isn't built that way.
We saw a girl rolling her own cigarette
the other day. 1t is now up to some man
ufacturer to advertise Her Tobacco
and to announce that the toppy pink
tins are favored with carnation and the
tidy lavender bags are Favored with
heliotrope.
woman who used to have mashed turnips
for dinner every Sunday?
Woman continues to wear what she
vest that buttoned up the back, she
would think he YVES crazy Sure she
would.
If the waists keep on being revised
downward and the skirts continue to be
revised upward. the time may come when
the South African belle who wears gee
string and some beads will have nothing
on our home talent.
We don't blame some Of the girls fol
sticking to long skirts. There are some
family skeletons that should be KEEP
under cover.
When girl goes fishing for husband
she expects to land whale, but usually
catches minnow.
1t is easy to flatter man. just Assn
his advice on some big question that ne
knows nothing about.
Maybe the man who saves every Jitney
isn't close-fisted. but is merely interested
in the preservation Of the Buffalo.
Don't sit down and worry about what
the other fellow Is going to do. KeeI
hustling and you'll keep him worried
about what you are going to do
Follow your own advice for day and
you'll learn why other people do not pay
much attention to what you say,
When a 6O-year-old man cops himself
out 2O-year-old bride, the divorce jins
camps on the front steps and waits foI
the trouble to start.
Some men are SO dependent on theil
wives that when they both die and get &c
heaven. he'lp expect her to help him or
with his wings every morning.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
NR 7 ASHINGTON, D. c., November
WW 1Z--(Special) -F'ollowers of the
" " war news from the Balkan and

NNT AsHINGToN, D. C., November en- per
WNW 17-(Specia1 )--F'ollowers of the
" " war news from the Balkan and
Greek zones of activity will search all
hut the largest scale maps in vain ana
pore over many of the standard encyclo-
pedias in a fruitless search to locate
Keratsni, where, according to report
from Patras, the French flag has been
hoisted on the Greek light flotilla- Ana
yet this village overloolzs waters upon
which was fought one of the most mo-
mentous battles in the worlds history
one which helped to preserve Greek CIVIL
lization from Persian spoiliation. Inc
National Geographic society, from It's
Washington headquarters, issues the fol-
lowing war geography bulletin on kerat-
SIM and its historic environs:
..It is less than an hours walk In
northwesterly direction from the rail-
road station Of Piraeus, the second city
of modern Greece, to Keratsin1. This
suburb of the chief seaport in the king
dom is situated at the head of small
inlet In the mainland shore. directly OBJ
posite the Bay of Ambelald, which In
dents the nearby island of Salamis.
"Oyerhanging Keratsini to the north
west is a hill upon which powder maya
zine has been constructed but which
hears the exalted and significant name,
Throne of Xerxes.' Legend says il
was from this eminence that the Persian
despot, seated in his silver-footed chair,
watched the destruction of more than aoc
(the Greeks claimed 1000 Of his ships OF
war by the wooden wall triremes COM
manded by Themistocles. Some historians
identity the rocky promontory OF Kera-
topygros, a mile to the west. as the more
probable vantage point Of observation
from which Xerxes saw his hopes OF
Furnishing the impudent Athenians' van
ish.
"The great marine drama which was
enacted in these waters fronting Kerat-
SIM, probably on September %. $50 B. c.,
has been described by one of the fore
most geniuses of ancient Greece. the poet
playwright Aeschylus. who was himself
a participant in the battle 1t was eight
years later that the dramatists Per
sea" (the Persians). In which the victory
is SO magnificently recounted. was en-.
acted In the theatre of Dionysus at Ath.
ems. This Is one of the seven plays
out Of the 90 written by Aeschylus, which
have been preserved.
Standing on the beach at Keratsin
and looking toward the south the Wis
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
Football Attracts Crowds

Each year the people from all sections
ham for the Auburn-Vanderbilt classic"
said Robert Barclay of the Tutwiler. 81
believe the crowd for the game this year
will far exceed that of any other. One
would be surprisedsat the great number
of people from Gadsden, Selma, Decatur.
Tuscaloosa, Montgomery and other points
throughout the state.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons why
birmingham is the best sporting town in
the south. 1t has large drawing ca
pacity from all the surrounding terri
tory If boxing were allowed here the
largest crowds imaginable would come to
see the bouts
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18

was agreed upon as the man who should
make the fight against Sam F. Ken
needy.
81 did not come to Birmingham to
talk politics." he said last night. L
came here to see the football game.
You know I played on the Auburn team
and later played on the University of
Alabama team, and I cannot miss
game of the kind we will probably have
tomorrow"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
SUBURB OF PYRAEUS

GipsoqoutalD barely two miles away.
At this strategic point Xerxes stationed
600 picked men, many Of whom were of
noble and princely blood. They were
supposed to lie in wait for the Greeks
as they should flee before the Persian
fleet. AS events developed, however. the
Persians were SO decisively beaten that
in their flight they had no time to
think of Withdrawing this select body
of men. They were left to their fate.
a tragic one. for Aristides. he whom the
Athenians delighted to cali the just, or
ganized a band of citizens. landed on
the island and put to the sword
THE bloom Of all the Persian youth. In
spirit.
The bravest. an In birth the noblsss
prinoea.'"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
ORIGIN OF sold PROBso

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
Shortly before his death Professor
Able told how the title of "Old Probs''
originated. AS with many men of
genius, he wrote an execrable hand.
II issued the first number of the Gin
einnati Weather Bulletin on September
1. 1884, he said. 1T contained only a
few observations telegraphed from dis
tant observers. and announced 'proba-
bilities' for the next day. This bulle-
tin, in my own hand writing, was post
ed prominently in the hall of the
Chamber of Commerce. but, unfortu-
nately, I had misspelled Tuesday and
I soon found below my probabilities
the following humorous line by Mr..
Davis, the well-known packer: A bad
spell of weather for old Probs.' This
established my future very popular
name of old Probs.'"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18

By Hartley Coleridge.
Be not afraid to pray-to pray 10 right.
Pray If thou canst with hope; but aver
Though hope be weak or sick with long
delay;
Pray in the darkness II tnere % no
light.
Far is the time remote from human sight,
When war and tumuit on the earth
shall cease;
Yet every prayer for universal peace
Avails the blessed time to expedite.
Whateer Is gos 20 wish nsl. that Of
Heaven,
Though 1t be What thou oanst not hope
to see;
Pray to be perfect. though material iAaver
Forbid the Spirit so on earth to be.
And IL for any wish thou darest not pray.
Then pray 70 God to cast that wish away.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
Deutschland Meets
Her First Bad Luck


TIOLLOWERS of the sea are shak-
y ing their heads over the aston
fishing accident which befell the
Deutschland as she was speeding Sc
renely on her return voyage to Bre-
men, about twelve miles from New
London.
The German submarine, until she
struck and almost instantly sank a
conveying tug, the T. A. Scott, Jr.,
seems to have been attended by good
fortune. Her first trip across the At
iantic in defiance of the combined
navies of France and Great Britain,
exposed to all the perils of the deep,
which were heightened by stormy
weather, was thought miraculous. The
Deutschland's return voyage home
ward bound was equally successful and
even less hazardous, while her second
trip to this country was accomplished
without any untoward incident. Yet,
at time when an suspicious voyage
seemed to have been started, the
Deutschland rams convoy, the YES
sci sinks like stone with the loss of
five lives and the submersible returns
to port in a damaged condition, her
captain "pale and shaken"
4 To the superstitious-and what sea-
man is not ?-the misfortune of the
Deutschland, a catastrophe which had
probably never entered the minds of
her captain or crew, is bad omen.
The additional fact that the Bremen
was lost is not encouraging to re-
member now.
However, since there's no use cross
ing bridges till we come to them, there
is no reason for the Germans to con-
slider the Deutschland a doomed boat
until she falls into the hands of the
enemy or strikes mine If this should
happen-and it's not more likely to
happen now than it was before
plany grizzled sailorman will say,
III told you SOL" st
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
ACCIDENTAL BRIDEGROOMs
From the Talladega Home.

From The IaIIadeSa HOME.
The strange experience of J. M.
Lambeth. a Fort Worth, Tex, book
keeper, who was persuaded or in
weighed into marriage last Halloween
while under the influence of liquor,
but who knew nothing of his marriage
until he found himself by the side of
prototype in Talladega many years
ago, when Napoleon Smith, q gifted
cartoonist and poet, and perhaps Ala
bama's most expert printer, was mar
ried under almost similar circum-
stances. Mr.. Smith has been dead
many years and his grave is in our
city cemetery.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
DOES VERY WE'LL.

$50 you are going out west for the first
time?"
Yes All the knowledge have of that
part of the country was acquired at NOV.
ing picture shows
"Then you have a pleasant surprise in
store. The west is not inhabited chiefly
by impossible cowboys, spectacular sher-
ifs and beauteous maidens who never get
a minutes rest from the unwelcome at
tontions of halfbreed desperadoes."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
Mir. Hughes Still Waits
On California

m HARLES E. HUGHES, the de-
~ feated republican nominee, still
waits in his hotel quarters in New
York to receive official returns from
California before sending congratula-
lions to President Wilson. Few hope
full candidates for the presidency, it
may be assumed, have been so disap-
pointed in the election result as the
1usty associate justice. He was told
by the reactionaries that whatever
money could do to bring victory would
be done. He was sure he would be
President Wilson's successor.
But the tide out west was against
him; and making his defeat all the
more depressing was the fact that
Chairman Wilcox notified him on the
first night that he was elected
elected beyond doubt. Just as soon
as returns began to come in from the
states beyond the Mississippi Hughes
defeat was indicated, and before the
end of election week the whole world
had accepted the peoples verdict. Wall
street, which was in sympathy with
the republican side, soon forgot all
about politics and started up new
bull campaign in the stock market.
The California vote is being re-
counted. Progress is being made, but
the tabulation will not be completed
before the middle of next week. The
republicans gain nothing by the re-
count in California, but Mr.. Hughes
deems it in accordance with the pro-
prieties not to concede Wilson's elec
ton until the last ballot in Hiram
Johnson's state is checked over.
In this hour Of Mr.. Hughes defeat
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
Getting Ready For
Next Admin

eS>@SSo-SH9S~ 49,
IWHILE Congress has not COM
Wv pleted all of President Will
sons legislative programme, most Of
the large measures proposed have
been enacted into law. The Sixty
third Congress was one of the busiest
and it's far-reaching record included
the Underwood tariff and the federal
reserve system; but no Congress has
ever passed so many important bills
as the Sixty-fourth.
The country demanded large de-
gree of preparedness mighty,
strengthening of the national defense
and in writing on the statute books
vast naval legislation and legislation
for reorganizing and increasing the
army the Wilson administration has
made the United States reasonably
secure against invasion for years to
come. And other measures as impor-
tant as the army and navy-and in
some respects more important
been enacted into law; and only
determined and Industrious President
| like Mr.. Wilson could have "speeded
up" Congress so as to do things in
the allotted time.
The remaining legislation blocked
out by the administration will be
pushed through the short session, soon
to convene. That will leave the Presi-
dent free to give the greater part of
his time to this countrys foreign
intercourse. 1t will be we'll, for our
diplomatic relations now assume as
poets more complex than ever. The
war, in all probability, will be ended
during President Wilson's second
term, and it is reasonable to suppose
that he will be leading factor in the
mediation. In fact, he is already be-
ing discussed by the belligerent
powers as the logical executive to con-
duct negotiations.
1t has been announced through the
Associated Press that the President
will expect all of the ambassadors and
all of the ministers plenipotentiary to
tender their designations prior to
March A next. Mr. Wilson wishes to
start off with clean diplomatic slate.
1t used to be that when a President
succeeded himself his representatives
in foreign countries continued in office
except where there were special rea-
sons for making change, but Presi-
dent Roosevelt set new precedent
by calling for the resignation of his
diplomatic corps.
! Now that the present incumbents of
foreign posts have received intimation
of what President Wilson expects
there will be no delay in making such
changes as the administration may see
fit. There are thirteen ambassadors
and thirty-one ministers. Three or
four of the ambassadors will probably
Va retained; but the probability is that
- others will be succeeded by new
men. Secretaries of embassies and
legations will not be changed, for they
now come under civil service rules.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
The AuGh0r of
s'Ou1o Wadis?"

6NHE death of Henry Sienkiewicz,
u the Polish novelist, which was
reported to have occurred in Switzer-
land, removes one of the great writer's
of modern times.
To have written book that cap
tured the imagination of a large part
of the world, one that was even better
known in this country than in Europe,
is brilliant achievement. Few indeed
have been the novels which enjoyed
such popularity as "Quo Vadis ?" As
Ia vivid study of life in decadent Rome
it has probably never been surpassed.
1t may not be as great a book in the
opinion of the critics as Bulwer-Lyt-
toms "The Last Days of Pompeii," but
it has doubtless been far more widely
read by the present generation than
Bulwer-Lytton's masterpiece.
The Sienkiewicz family was origi-
nally Lithuanian, but removed to Po-
land as a result of the Russian war.
The novelist was born at Okreya,
Podlasia. He was educated at Warsaw
gymnasium and university. His works
include, "Hania," 1874; Sketches in
Charcoal" 1877; Fire and Sword"
1884; "The Deluge," 18s5-s7; "Pan
Michael" 1888; without Dogma"
1891; Children of the Soil," 1894;
"Quo Vadis 2" 1896; "The knights of
the Cross" 1902.
None of his books will be remem-
bered in the United States as long as
"Quo Vadis?" for it was this work
that made his name familiar to Ameri-
can readers. Thousands of people who
did not read the book had its stirring
scenes presented to them on the stage
an in motion pictures.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
THEY ALSO SERVED.

IT presume some of these campaign
orators who worked so hard for Mr.. Will
son will expect to be rewarded
"oh, yes. I wonder what will be done
for the specialists who answered hurry
calls to spray the orators throats?"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18

BEGINNING THE DAY-My Faith
err, nurse the little spark of Thyseh
which Thou base put In me. Feed IT,
Blow 1T into flame. May 1T burn out
the dross. May 1t mount upward UNI
til 1t shall give warmth and light
to my whole being. In Chrtst's name
Amen.--H. M. Il.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
HARD TO TELL.

did the election go to suit Jagsby?"
That's impossible for me to say"
"Why?"
"Jagsby is the sort of man who drinks
to drown his sorrow and to commemor-
ate his happiness"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
SAD STORY. MATES.

ASAAC ~ Wa
The high cost of living
Doth give mortals pause;
They never cease trying
To find out the cause.
But the more they endeavor
The problem to solve,
Alas, the more quickly
Their poor brains revolve.
Their questions are answered
In different ways
And reasons are offered
Each time there's a raise.
But the hapless consumer
Cannot understand;
He shakes the last penny
From the purse in his hand
And waits, all a-tremble,
To hear the clerk say:
"The price of this tripe, sir,
Has gone up today"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
Good Work for Highways

ITO some people it may appear that
the results which have attended the
efforts of the men working for good
roads have not been as great as they
should" said Watt T. Brown OF Rag
land, former state senator. who was
in Birmingham yesterday. But like all
great movements. 1t take long time
to get the thing started. Then it seems
that it goes forward through its own
momentum.
'Any man who compares the roads
of Alabama today with those of 10
years ago must realize that wonderful
progress has been made along this
line. Now that we have state aid and
federal aid, which can be added to the
money of the individual counties, the
results in the next decade will be many
times better than in the past 10 years.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
ENOUGH SAID.

dad, win you let me have 20 pIunks7
do you mean 80 dollars?F
Eyes, II It's all the same to you"
''well. it's all the same to me. You
can't have them"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
HUMAN FRAILTIEs.

HUMAN FRAILTIES.
IT would not wear a purple tie,"
Said William Henry Brit,
But forthwith he hiked out to buy
A green and yellow shirt.
Youngstown Telegram
81 would not buy yellow shirt"
Said little Heinie Bait,
But straightway he hiked out to buy
A green and fuzzy hat.
gainesville Telegraph Republican.
81 would not buy a fuzzy hat"
Said winsome Harry Clews,
But straightway he hilzed out to buy
Some low-heeled rubber shoes
Geneva Free-Press Times.
Il would not wear those panta1ettes,"
Said modest Gertie Pease,
And then she hurries out andsgets
A skirt up to her knees.
Sharon News.
II would not wear so short skirt"
Said Myrtle Goldilocks,
Then she tripped down the avenue
A-wearing rolled-down socks.
Houston Post
IT would not wear those rolled-down
socks"
Said Maudie Mabel Stout:
Then threw her summer furs'' away
And turned her wishbone out.
Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
81 would not wear an ankle watch"
Said pretty Mamie Gee.
So she doubled the circumference
And hitched it to her knee"
The Nashville Banner.
ST hate the shams of modern life
Said Arabella Quick;
And then dabbed paint upon her face
AS long as it would stick.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
ARMY Recruiting
Is Slow Work

more ago, Congress lost no time in
llegislating for an expansion of the
military establishment. AT the time
an expeditionary force of regulars
was sent into Mexico, an emergency
bill authorizing an increase of 10000
in the enlisted strength of the army
was rushed through Congress. Later
on the army reorganization bill, au-
thorizing an enlistment of 175,000
men on a peace footing, was passed,
but before the war department had
time to reconstruct its recruiting ma
chinery the possibility of war seemed
remote enought to cause a lull in i'm
mediate preparedness activity.
One hears little now about danger
of war. Congress made no mistake in
providing for larger army. But in
the absence of warlike demonstra-
tons toward this country there is no
hurry for recruits, and it is fortunate
that such is the case, because in boom
times such as the United States is
having, recruiting is extremely slow
Up to this time only about $4,000
men offering for enlistment have been
accepted. All which means a con-
siderable saving to Uncle Sam.
A Chicago professor is trying to in
terest working girls in grand opera. If
he will provide free tickets and taxicabs
the success of his scheme is assured.
There will probably be number of
diplomatic jobs to be filled by President
Wilson and lot of near diplomats will
soon be looking for something to do.
After a citizen has mbibed too freely
of 'blind tiger" whisky the water wagon
looks almost as comfortable to him as a
$1,000 limousine
Berlin is said to be pessimistic over re-
lations with Norway. However, Berlin is
probably not any more pessimistic than
Norway is.
What does it profit town to have
sanitary straps in trolley cars if a large
percentage of the straphangers are in
sanitary?
DRY territory has been considerably
extended. but the attitude Of the eastern
liquor dealers seems to be 1--WE should
worry"
Mr. Hughes should cheer up. He's not
the only man In this country whose cup
of sorrow is filled to the brim.
1t begins to look as If the republicans
will spend the next four years explain
ing what happened in California.
The man who reads all the official war
reports must have great deal of spare
time on his hands.
There are few pessimists who believe
that pork and beans will soon be served
with champagne.
In some parts Of the south 'possunl
will take the place Of turkey on Thanks
giving day.
Cabrera should remember that he ID
not at home now and conduct himself
accordingly.
May Irwin is one Of the few first-class
career.
There was no excuse for Minnesota
turning the election into prolonged
spree.
In the meantime Venustano Carranza
is still catching the elusive Mr.. Villa
1t begins to look as if the Deutschland
Is a badly hoodooed boat.
Pittsburg stogies have gone up. That's
positively the last straw!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
Prohibition not Chief Issue

ut is my opinion that prohibition
win not be the chief issue In the COM
ing state campaign" said, Judge Thorn
as W. Vert of Decatur. who is here Tor
the Auburn Vanderbilt game. Il be-
lieve that the people of the state are
largely satisfied with the present sit
uation of the liquor problem and de-
spite tho efforts Of some to make this
issue tho leading one in all state races
think the people will not get excited
over the matter in 1918"
Judge Vert. who Is one OF the lead
ing prohibitionists in north Alabama.
was freely discussed as probable can
didate for president OF the public service
commission last May, but after cau-
Gus of the dry leaders. Henry Merritt
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
AFFLUENcE.

N"They are rich, you say?'
''Unquestionably. Three chauffeurs are
included in their servant problem"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-18
GoRDIAN LovEWs-KNo

CUTTING GORDIAN LOVERs-KNOT
From "Cozey Corner Condolences" in the
Buffalo Courier.
Dear Mrs. Wheeler:
I am coming for your kindly advice.
I have fellow and when he comes to
see mo he always says, "irow is your
little hearth" What should / answer
him, a. ! don't know what to say.
MAE.
It's just his flippant way of greeting
you and it doesn't really mean anything.
But you might give him gay smile and
tell him Very well. thank you; how's
yours?"