The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-01-10
CHATTER tx.

Abner Makes a Speech.
| |AHE dinner passed most agree
ably, and when it was over
IL Abner stood up at his place
- and made a tinkiing Sound
with the point of his knife on an empty
/ goblet, which. gradually evoked silence
on the gay company.
"Hear, hear! Speech, speechy' cried
a lively taIker. a man named Wilson,
| who was large, bald and had a crude
| wooden leg strapped to his knee and
thigh and who, over the frank pseu-
donym of Peg Leg, wrote weekly let
tiers from Dawnville noted for their
cheerful philosophy.
This was followed by considera bic
applause and Abner, bowling right and
| left, had to wait till it had abated be-
fore beginning
Ladies and gentlemen, brother and
sister dotters.'' he began, ''as many Of
| you may know, amt worth shucks at
a speech. In fact, I don't know but
what would have backed plumb out
] o. this whole affair eff I had once
thought talk of any sort would be ex-
| pected of me. It wasn't till you was
all notified an the New Clarion was
! full OF accounts of this convention that
Tom -Sugart told me that the whole
| thing would fall as fat as filter eff
/ 1 didn't rise an say something at least
| in the way of welcome"
'sGood, good, hurrah fer Tom" ex-
claimed Peg Leg. 'sHe not only knows
| how to git up a meal a mile long, but
how. to add on all the other up to date
frills."
THANK you, Brother wilson, Abner
/ smiled. "You put the words in my
I OK fB0 so114 II
fer before you all want right now to
thank Sugart for his excellent service.
Eff il hadn't been fer Tom this would
/ just a, been common meal that we'd
/ have been through with in ten minutes
at the outside, but as you see we have
set here constantly expectin' something
to eat for fully two hours
| "And gettin' plenty too. Don't leave
that out, Uncle Ab,'' laughed the hui
mogous interlocutor.
ooh, yes, an gettin' all that could
be expected, an. even more Abner
grinned. -'I would propose drinkin
| Toms health, but I notice that tho
wonderful connection that Frank Rey-
mond mixed up in the big bowl is gone
completely. Even the ladies seemed
/ to take to it. As far as see, it hafn't
done any of us a bit of harm do no
| tice that our Brother Wilson, who pass
| ed his glass about as often as he could
well manage it, is pretty lively, but
/ fer all know that may be only nat
juraI.
81 noticed all of you down nigh his
plate laughin' rather hearty, an fer
the benefit o. the folks up this way I
will explain that the fun wds all due
to our brother meetin' with a little Ia
BILE accident. The most Of us all acted
/ with great wisdom an consulted the
bill to see what Tom had in the coffee
| cups fer the first course, that looked
like tea with grease doatin' on top, be-
/ fore we touched it, but Peg Leg Wilson,
with his big brain an merry mood,
| hain't got any more curiosity about
| newfangIed things than Socrates would
have over a starched shirt an standin'
| collar.
"a coffee cup is a coffee cup to BROTH
er Wilson, SO while he was chattin so
glib with the charmin' lady on his left
he reached over an got the sugar bowl
an put several Jumps in his boo-boO-
in his soup. No wonder you laughed
down thar. Soup with sugar in it is
too modern a mixture fer any of-us.
I'm not fndin'- fault with Peg Leg fer
his lack OF up to date notions, nuther,
fer eff prince of a royal house had
been with US tonight he would "a been
obliged to think them thick china cups
contained what they was made fer. OF
course the saucer wasn't along with
the cup, but it would be only natural
fer anybody to think that with such a
big crowd the supply Of dishes might
have run short"
s.Thanks, Mr.. Chairman" Wilson
laughed out. s'Im glad you've explain
ed my awkwardness in such a pleas
ant manner, I did put the sugar in,
and, what is most surprising, 1 discov-
cred that the stuff was really delight
full to taste. I'd advise you all to try
it sometime. It was great improve
ment, I assure you. Tom Sugart
knows how to get up an endless chain
dinner, all ri.-4t, and I'm goin' to write
an article some day proposing to the
government that every condemned
criminal, as matter of pure hunani-
tartan principle, be allowed to have
his last earthly meal strung out like
this one tonight.
stAn sorts O. things could take place
in his favor before halt was called.
He could grow from youth to old age,
see whole countries wiped out in
bloody carnage and new ones spring
up into activity and wane and die.
No, the sugar in the soup is not both
ering me, but I'm going to ask Tom
in private some day what in the name
of common sense he had that little
chunk of yellow cheese alongside of
every slice of apple pie for. Out of
pure curiosity I watched all the plates
go back to kitchen. and the cheese
left on them, if it isn't hashed up into
some dish for the transient trade and
regular boarders, viii feed the rats in
this house for months to come
When the laughter over this had sl1b-
: