The Chesterfield advertiser. [volume] (Chesterfield C.H., S.C.) 1884-1978, 1916-04-20

facilities are unrepaired,' says he, or
words to that effect And hate says
lie, to see fools trying to run the
world
"I never touch a drop says l, and
there are many kinds Of fools, and the
world runs on its own apex, accord
me-
"I was referring says he, to the
president of this republic. His country
is in desperate condition. Its treas
ury is empty, it's on the verge Of war
with Nicamala, and If it wasn't for
the hot weather the people would be
starting revolutions in every town.
Here is nation goes on Wainwright,
'On the brink Of destruction. A man
of intelligence could rescue 1t from its
impending doom in one day by issuing
the necessary edicts and orders. Pres
ident Gomez knows nothing of states
manship or policy. Do you know Adam
Smith,
"Iemme see,' says I. There was a
one cared man named Smith in Fort
Worth, Tex, but / think his first name
was
"I am referring to the political econ
omist. says Wainwright.
Smother Smith, them says I.
The one 1 speak Of never was ar
rested
$50 Wainwright boils some more
with indignation at the insensibility of
people who are not corpulent to f1ll
public positions, and then he tells me he
is going out to the presidents summer
palace, which is four miles from Aguas
Frescas. to instruct him In the art of
running steam heated republics.
Come along with me, Trotter,'
says he. and I'll show you what brains
can do
Anything In It.? I asks
The satisfaction says he, of re-
deeminG a country Of 100000 popula-
tion from ruin back to prosperity and
peace.
"'Great" says I. I'll go with you.
d prefer to eat n live broiled lobster
Just now, but give me liberty as second
choice If can't be in at the death
wainwright and me permeates
through the town, and he halts at q
rum dispensary.
Have you any money! he asks.
~ have says l, fishing out my sill
YER dollar. 4 always go about with
adequate sums of money
Then we'll drink says VAIN
wright.
mot me- says I. Not any demon
rum or any Of It's ramifications for
mine. It's one Of my non-weaknesses'
Its my falling says he What's
your particular soft point?
Industry says l promptly. I'm
hardworking, diligcnt, industrious and
energetic
My dear Mr.. Trotter,' says he,
surely I've known you long enough to
tell you you are liar. Every man
must have his own particular weakness
and his own particular strength in 9th
er things. Now you will buy me
drink OF rum, and we will call on Presi-
dent Gomez
well. sir" Trotter went on, eve
walks the four miles out through n
virgin conservatory Of palms and ferns
and other roof garden products, to the
presidents summer White House. 1t
was blue and reminded you of what
you see on the stage In the third act,
which they describe as same as the
first on the programs.
Ihcre was more than fifty people
waiting outside the iron fence that sur
rounded the house and grounds. There
was generals, agitators and epergnes
In gold lace uniforms and citizens
In diamonds and panama hats, all
waiting to get an audience with the roy
al i've card draw. And In kind of a
summer house In front OF the mansion
we could see burned sienna man eat
ing breakfast out Of gold dishes and
taking his time. / judged that the
crowd outside had come out for their
morning orders and requests and was
afraid to intrude.
But c. Wainwright wasn't. The
gate was open, and he walked inside
and up to the presidents table as conf.
dent as a man who knows the head
waiter in a fifteen cent restaurant.
And | went with him because l had
only 10 cents, and there was nothing
else to do.
The Gomez man rises from his chair
and looks, cOlored man as he was, like
he was about TO call ont for corporal Of
the guard, post No. l. But Wainwright
says some phrases to him In peculiar
ly lubricatiug manner, and the first
thing you know We was all three of us
seated at the table, with coffee and
rolls and iguana outlets coming as fast
as about ninety poems could rustic 'em.
And then Wainwright begins to
talk. but the president interrupts him.
"'Iou Yankees says he, polite, as
suredly take the cake for assurance, /
assure you or words to that effect
lie spoke english better than you or
me. You've had a long walk says
he, but it's nicer I'm the cool morning
to walk than to ride. May / suggest
some rcfreshmentsr says he.
Rum says wainwright.
Gimme a cigar says /.
We'll sir, the two talked an hour,
Keeping the generals and equities all
I'm thnir ,y.lI