Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-02-16
The 90 Good Man
His Kindness Is Always Repelled
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1915, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

piled it on the barn door, but it always
comes out the s@me-the too good uau
has no place in this world. He is a
sort of cross between a burdOck and
a sunfloWer--not ornamental enough
for wear nor good enough eating for
cows.
Coming up from Red Bank the other
day. followed an old man into the
passenger coach. / had noticed INN
on the platform. and | recognized him
as belonging to the species | have
named.
The train had scarcely begun to
move when my too good man. who ha6
a rear seat, rose up and announced:
Don't nobody be skeered, now. This
hain't no collision. It's just like they
allus move Off. I've rid on EN- more'n
ii dozen times and IN tell you when to
jump Off
Everybody looked at him. while some
deluded him with smiles meant to be
encouraging. He slowed away his
satchel and removed an Old SLOUGH hat
he had been wearing.
There was q woman sitting alone a
few seats down the aisle. She had an
umbrella. a bundle secured with a
shawl strap and two or three parcels
on the seat, and as Uncle Jerry passed
down the aisle he stopped before her
and cheerfully observed:
Face kinder familiar to me. but |
can't remember your name. Never
been much of hand ut remembering
names. anyhow. Husband flew around
and helped ye to git ready. suppose?
Leave the children all right? Been lots
o measles around this year. Didn't
leave the outside cellar door open. did
ye?"
Il don't know ye,'' she said as she
looked up.
What. Hain't We Hammer Jones of
Jones CrOssroadS?"
NO. sir
WAL. | swow. Id bet a two-year-
old steer agin cider bari that We
was
The next one he accoSted was man
fully as old as himself whose crown
was reading Il letter. which he had TAX
en- from a corn colored envelopes, when
Uncle Jerry gave him a playful poke
in the ribs and called out:
Lands. you look just like my broth
er Bill across the back and head. Coin
somewhar. s'pose."
Who did that testify exclaimed
tho old man ~ ha looked ny,
Il kinder poked We, but it hahn t
nuthin' to git mad at" replied Uncle
Jerry. Folks all we'll at home. l hope.
How'd yer taters keep last winter?
Hear any demand fur turnips lately?"
Il want you to stop. | sayv' yelled
the old man as he waved his arms
around.
Then L will. If We are SO techy as
all that | don't want nuthin' to do
with We. Lucky that We hain't goin' 10
run fur supervisor in my town. You
wouldn't git a blamed vote. Howdy
do, naybur?''
This last remark was addressed to a
rather savage looking man with weed
on his hat who was reading ii maya
zine.
i warn you 10 go on" said the man
I'm wicked: IN tuff. Iii hurt yer
By Squash. but what Il Teller We be!
Haul right OF aud punk me cause l
want to be friendly eh:'
He seemed to be bit discoura ged
for monent. but presently his eye
caught the figures of two females at
the far end of the car and he edged
along down to see if anything was
wanted in his line The two were
! mother and daughter, and the latter
| didn't look we'll.
Did she fail down the cellar stairs
| or pitch off the haymoW?' kindly in
! qulred Uncle Jerry as he sat down on
the rail of the seat.
Are We speakin' of me darter!" de-
manded the mother.
.'Iaetly. Doesn't look just right fol-
this time of the year If Id only
thought Id brung along Il bunch O
! mayweed and told We how to make tea
Of it. Beats all creation how mayweed
takes the kinks out of the system. She
amt in luv. is she:"
Sir
"Naybur o mine had a gal about her
age who began to ravel out and fade
away. They put horseradish drafts tC
her feet mustard plasters to her neck
ana dosed her with catnip. mayweed
and sage tea. hut she continued to flake
of and fade i'll the wash and finally
died. When too late they diskivered
she had all along bin i'll luv with Bill
Halves. my hired man. who was sc
gaul burned bashful that he dassnl
say d word about it, Better begin tc
hunt around the grass and see if some
thin OF that sort amt troublin' her.
You old critter. go away from here
with yer barney or I'll he the death OF
Ee. shouted the mother and as be
jumped back she pulled the girl out
into the aisle beside her and waved
her umbrella in a threatening manner