The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-09-22

going down town. Is this common
thing with most menu" Not quite so
bad as that. | reckon. You know that
Adam came first and after him Eve,
and so Eve has been after Adam ever
since. Better 60 down to The Tri-
bune and get them to print some cards
reading "Ill bet a dollar she is after |
me in minute after | get home"
Have one of these ready when you go |
home and hand it to her sweetly and |
courteously. When she asks you what |
it means just simply tell her that |
few husbands found it necessary to |
get up the card for self preservation.
The Tribune would print thousand
of the cards for five dollars and you
would never need more than fifty. OF
course now, | have answered on the
basis that you have told me the exact
truth. If you really need little
jinning up occasionally, this form of
card would be superfluous. You know
there is card some wives might
profitably get up, and goodness knows
its wording might be red hot.
81 have sinned good deal hereto
fore, but | have now vowed to work
no more on Saturday and now | am
forgiven. God has prepared way to
get saved and would like to show it
to everybody" Now look here: If any
body has made you believe that you
+ get forgiveness for sins just because
you won't work ON Saturday, they
have made you believe what is not so.
No reputable Seventh Day Adventist
teaches any such thing, and | am as
Stunning that you are an Adventist.
They teach that since you are saved
you will not work on Saturday but
keep that day holy. Don't you mis-
understand your own doctrine and get
it muddled in your own mind. Re-
framing from work on Saturday does
not save one, any more than labor
on Sunday saves or loses one. If you
are saved it will be because you have
had applied to your sins the blood of
Jesus Christ, and if you have been
j saved, of course you will look around
Immediately to see what God wants
you to do and to leave undone, and if
n you are an Adventist you will refrain
y from labor on Saturday, not as a
saving ordinance but as an obedience
III to the ten commandments.
81 am simply devoid of all tact. l
81 can't think of anything good to say
81 until two days after it is needed. My
81 memory is poor My health is wear
ing out. | am getting white haired be-
u fore my time and l am lonely. l just
tell you this and don't ask you any
M thing" Thanks for this piece OF in
R formation. 1t really proves that your
III tact apparatus is not sparkling cor
IN rectly. You may be much improved
81 in every one of these defects if you
AS try. One day a certain woman called
XII on a pastors family She was a per-
n feet bore. The pastor hid out until
he thought surely she had gone
Everything was quiet in his wife's
"a room and so he called out SAY. wife
has that horrible old bore gone?
Eyes DEAR" she called back she went
long ago, but Mrs. Stegall is here
now" Now, Mrs. Stegall was tina,
horrible old bore. Your white hail
won't hurt you. You doubtless car
and your health will improve if yor
hi will forget it and so far as beins
lonely is concerned that is ephemera
and fleeing. Better be lonely thar
foolish. Whether thing is good te
saw depends entirely upon when ant
where YOU say it. Try to thinl
quickly, and you will keep up will
most of your companions. | one tim'
INA wanted to compliment a visitor at GU
VI house and l didn't know how to DO II
@ So after being outside while re
ma turned and pretended | thought sh
& had gone home, and from an adJoin
ing room called to Mrs. Hired Man
"Now / tell you | think Mrs. D.
is one of the incest women in all thi
country" then | started on to tai
S about her, when to my supposed sur
W prise. she was in hearing OF my word:
Now that would be too thin to wor
&N off on most women, but in this IN
AA stance it was real tact. The geograph
OF thing has much to do with 1t.
M fifteen dollar hat on the wire holder l
a millinery store isn't much, but 1t 20
z put it on a pretty woman, ITS gee
W graphy is very good indeed.
Here is a paragraph with three goo
k morals 70 it, two good points attache
M to Il and quite a smattering Of goo
M reading. In former paragraph tol
M about nice fat rooster that Mr.
Frank Rose gave us and how it wante
WEE to dun our cat off the place. Well. t.
day we took the head off the roost'
f and the Jealous cat seized that hea
and sprang out into the weeds an
E devoured It gloriously. 1t reminds
W the Hired Man Of that instance IN q
bible where Herod killed John u
Baptist and put his head on a charg
and brought it in and gave IT TO IN
foxy old woman whose uaus"'
lust fox-trotted a spell tor the ola XII
and sent delight up and down ms Da'
like so MANY aurora borealises OF ele
M tricity until he swore then and the
that he would give the girl just VIII
she wanted even up to the hall OF
Kingdom. The old lady had fixed
the Job on the loose old king and
she at once told the nimble daught
20 ask for Johns head: Now the XII
had done away with his brother al
kidnapped his wife and John had s So
I. something about it in his sermon al
got himself imprisoned for his ire ire
dom of speech in his preaching.