The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-10-12
ON SPUR OF
THE MOMENT
The HiclseyviIle Clarion.
ny ROY X. MoULToN.


There are more ways to run a
newspaper than anything else OH
earth. Every Teller in town has got
a different way that he would like to
try and the only Teller whose ideas
on the subject amount to nothing at
all is the editor.
Higher education will get quite
boost when it gets SO there is as
much money in teaching school as
there is in driving hack, but that
time will probably never come.
Hank Tumms says every feller has
got :. lot of distant relatives and they
are never more distant than when
you ask them for the loan of two
dollars.
Hod Peters had an acquaintance
who bothered him a whole lot, SO ne
took the sure means of getting rid
of him. He lent the fellow SO ana
hasn't seen him since.
Little things cause great deal or
happiness in this world, sometimes
Solitaire diamonds, for instance
Told by Our Minister.
was travelling in the east recently
in a sleeper and when l put on my
shoes in the morning 1 found black
one and a tan one underneath my
berth
summoned the porter and said:
"How does it come that 1 have got
one black shoe and one tan shoe?"
well, boss" said he, ''tha's sho'ly
something strange goin' on IN TINS
cab. This is the second time TINS mas
happened this mohnin'."
During a recent suffrage parade a
man carried one of the banners Tor
his wife, who was not able to marcn-
She sat in the grandstand and watcn-
ed the parade go by
When they reached home the hus-
band said, We'll, Mary, how did L
march? Did I do the job right
You carried that banner in the
most disgraceful manner l ever saw,
replied the angry spouse. gu
dragged it in the dust all the way
What did you mean by doing that?
Didn't you see what was printed
on that banner?" he asked.
mo, what was it?"
We'll, on that banner was printed
this sign: Men can vote. Why can't
IT.
How to Save Money.
When your wife asks you for ten
cents, make such a fuss about it that
she will think you are the injured
! party and will beg your forgiveness
with tears in her eyes. Then put on
your hat and go down. town and buy
| yourself four or five lucent drinks,
asking the bartender to have one with
you every time, and smoke several
expensive cigars.
! When you buy an automobile get a
/ 81 one and then spend S97 a week on
| it for repairs at the garage.
Always buy 37-cent shirts, two or
| three of them every week, wear them
once and throw them away.
! Rent a house on the outskirts of the
city because it is cheap and then spend
the difference and some more in car
fare for yourself and family.
Go without overshoes and save 81
and then have pneumonia and spend
S19S in doctors bills,
Buy your goods of a mail order
| house and then buy them over again
at home.
Hire a 81 man to fill $40 job and
then spend your time correcting his
| mistakes.
Personal
G. H-If you feel that you must
pin your money on a horse tomorrow
pin it on the clothes horse before you
start from home and leave it there.
+ Nervous - We don't know whether
the eastern prophet is correct when he
says the world is going to come to
an end next month and we really don't
| care very much. We have only one
more instalment to pay on our en-
| cyclopedia and when that is all settled
the ambition of our young life will
have been accomplished.
In our travels hither and yon dur
ing the past twenty-five years we find
that one thing remains undiscovered
in this country. We have never beer
able to locate parlor car porter who
would not accept money