The Julesburg grit-advocate., 1916-01-27
CHAPTER xviii-csatisvsa.

oO. ma Deeo very oeaf 0ootn. nut
cils must have ssAsA the struggle II
Which ! vas engased. had not this
kaevls1eo q actual asd uapunished
crime eo0e = ease ~ conscience.
Jeas 0esviiis vas worthy Of death.
AAA. bsiAg -. should receive the full
reward q Ais dss1. aeed hesitate
- Ioages.
That sisht I slept But there cane
. aigbt Whss did set. After the peo-
atty had bssa paid sad to most Dss's
eyes that episode vas over. turned
tie Arst Page Of that volume Of SLOW
rstributisa which 10 the doom Of the
ma vho slas from impulse. and has
tAs receil sf his ovD nature 70 lace
rsisatiessiy - the end of his days.
0ceville vas 10 his grave. I was alive.
6eovills had shot Q nan for bis money.
] had struck Q man down In my wrath.
0coville's widow and little child must
face . cold and unsympathetic world.
With small means and disgrace rising.
IKE q wall. between them and social
sympathy. II not between them and
the actual means Of living.
divers future faced him untouched.
Ne shadow lay across his path to him
der his happiness o. 70 mar his
ehancesL
The results vers unequal began
10 see them %. and feel the gnawinG
Of that deathless worm whose raw
ages lay waste the breast. while hand
and brain fulflll their routine Of work.
~ though all were we'll and the foun.
dations Of life unshaken.
I suffered - only towards suffer. !
held On to honor: I held on to home:
I held % 70 Oliver. but with misery
for my companion and . self-contempt
which nothing could abats. Each time
mounted the bench felt . tug at
ny arm % II . visible. restraining
presence. Each time returned to my
home and met the clear eye Of Oliver
beaming upon me with Its ever.grow
ing promise Of future comradeship. I
experienced Q rebellion against my
own happinsss which opened my eyes
to my own nature and its inevitable
demand. must give up Oliver. or
yield my honors. make . full confes-
sion and accept whatever conss-
quenoss II might bring. am q proud
man. and the latter alternative was be-
yond me. could forego pleasure.
travel. social intercourse. and even
the companionship Of the one being In
whom all my hopes centered. but
could not, OF my own volition. pass
from the Judges bench to the felon's
cell. There { struck tAs immovable-
the impassable.
decided II one awful night Of ~
nunciation that I would send Oliver
out Of ny life.
The next day told him abruptly
:. hurting him to spare myself J.
that I had decided after long and ma
turs thought to yield to his desire for
Journalism. and that would start him
in his career and maintain him in Il
for three years IL he would subscribe
to the following conditions:
They were the hardest . loving IA
ther ever Imposed upon q dutiful and
loving son.
First. he was to leave homo immedi-
ately within q few hours. In
fact.
Second. he was to regard all rela.
tions between US As finished: We were
to be strangers henceforth Ia every
particular save that Of the money OBJ
legation already mentioned.
Third. he was never to acknowledge
this compact. or to cast any slur upon
the father whose reasons for this ap.
parently unnatural conduct were quite
disconnected with any fault Of his OF
any desire to punish or reprove.
Fourth. he was to pray for bis IA
ther every night Of his life before he
slept. o''
Was this last 4 confession! Had
meant It to be such! II so. II missed
its point 1t awed but did not frighter
him. .IH --,
had to contend with his compunc
tions. as we'll as with grief and dis
may. 1t was an hour Of struggle or
his part and Of implacable resolution
on mine Nothing but such hardnes,
on my part would have served me.
Had fa'tered once he would hav,
won me over. and the tale OF my sleep
less nights been repeated did no
falter. and when the midnight strok,
rang through the house that nigh
1t separated by its peal a sin becloude q
but human past from future ari,
with solitude and bereft Of the on,
possession to retain which my sin ha,
been hidden.
became father without son-a
lonely and ~ desolate as though tn
separation between US were that o
the grave had merited and SO weakl
Stunned.
But l was not yet satisfied. Ho,
could insure for myself the extrem
punishment which my pesce demand
ed. without bringing down upon m
the full consequences I refused (
accept.
You have seen how I ultimat,