davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benson signal., 1916-06-03

Great, cousin to st. Patrick, friend to
the queen of England, enemy to all
the world beside
Shane was excessively busy In
the Spanish ambassador, which threw
the foreign ministry into alarm, and
he so impressed the queen that she
was willing he should remain
"ONeill," though she continued to
retain her own candidate up her
sleeve.
On his return to ireland Shane set
about invading Tirconnell as tributary
to the O'Neill AS a matter of fact
the O'Donnell had been declared ex-
empt from his levies, but Shane could
net keep his hands out of the heredi-
tary feud between Cinel-C Connal and
Cinel Owen. 1t was feud so per-
manent and intense in Irish history
that the Senachies declared Owen and
COnnal had been born at grips with
one another. 1t : as a feud that was
to lose Shane the O'Neillship and to
lose Ireland Ulster For the time in
deed Sussex was glad to keep the
peace and bide his time. The name
of ''O'Neill" vas confirmed to Shane
until the queen should decorate him
by another more honorable name"
To consolidate the peace and to
celebrate the agreement, Sussex sent
Clr 0f xuin IN
which shane most unwisely essayed to
drink the queens health. AS result
he and his chief gentlemen found
themselves temporarily poisoned;
Shane demonstrated with some indig-
nation, but it was the carrier of the
wine and not Sussex who was impris-
oned for the offense Meanwhile,
Shane continued to rule Ulster. but
not by any means as a successful ban
dit rules the valleys from his throne
upon the mountains Poets and men
of literature were supported under his
patronage.
Shanes undOing proceeded not
from the castle, but from himself. In
an evil hour he remembered he had
once promised to treat the mercenaiy y
Scots as though they were his own en-
emies. His promise to the queen,
coupled with some annoyance at the
position of the MacDonnells had ac-
uuired in Antrim. brought him into ac-
tion. At Glenfesk he routed the Red
shanks and slew Angas and Shemus
MacDonnell Carried away by his
own success, he proceeded to sweep
Ulster as with broom. The earl of
Kildare he thrust out Of Dundrum and
Bagenal out of Newry. Sidney who
was once more deputy, made some ef-
fort to parley, but Shane's pride spoke
out in historic utterance. Never was
a saner or more honorable or proud
er speech made by an asserter of Irish
freedom. 1t we'll befitted one whom
the annalists lied Shane an Diomas,
the proud.
II care not to be made an earl, un-
less | may be higher and better than
an earl; for am in blood and power
better than the best of them, and |
will give place ~ none but my cousin
of Kildare, for that he is of my house.
You have made a wise man of Nc
Carly More. l confess keep as good
a man as he. For the queen confess
she is my sovereign, but never made
peace with her but at her own seek
ing. Whom am l to trust? When
came unto the earl of Sussex upon
The Benson signal., 1916-06-03
Superlative Goodness.

To love the public, to study univer.
sal good, and to promote the interests
of the whole world, as far as lies with.
in our power. is the height of good.
ness. and makes that temper which
we call divine.-Shaftesbur
The Benson signal., 1916-06-03
Murderous.

Mrs. Newmarrie (sorrowfully, after
departure of her husbands rich uncle)
Its too bad the dinner was fail.
ure, DEAR" Mr. Newmarrie-"But IL
wasn't failure, darling. 1t took at
least a year from uncle's life"
The Benson signal., 1916-06-03
Work Toward Desired End.

The life which hasn't goal toward
which every days effort is carrying it
is very empty. 1t could not be other
wise. To be happy and content-to
feel keen zest in living-one must
work toward some end.-Selected.
The Benson signal., 1916-06-03
Beatinu the Undertaken.

Some men think they are living
when they are but chunks of meat
walking around beating some honest,
hard-working undertaken out of job.
Pea Ridge Pod.
The Benson signal., 1916-06-03
f0O(1 TIE TIE OOCO 500 in
A BIT Of history about
Shane Q'Neill, the great
Irish Chief who lived and
died fighting "Redshanks"

HEN Elizabeth, queen and
virgin, ruled in England
and Shane O'Neill, hered-
ltary chieftain, ruled in Ul-
ster, the Irish historical
arena PRESENTED the as
poets of a Homeric con-
f1ict. On the one side the
chivalrous old Gaelic war.
riols, with their fighting
ranks interspersed with
DardS and hrob0pS ctcuo
The fool-killer., 1916-04-01

out Of the swamp Of defeat into
the highway Of victory. We have
raked over the political remains of
our party with fne-teoth comb,
and our search has been as fruit
less as hunting fer the rainbow's
end. Therefore we again turn our
longing eyes toward thee, O thou
Shadow Of Forlorn Hope. We
hambly beseech thee to forget the
past and stick thy number tens
under cur political table again.
Let us give thee another joy-ride
on the Elephants back.
@ great Teothadore, we are
ashamed Of ourselves for what we
have dene. We can now see that
it was all terrible mistake. We
therefore gladly repent Of it in
heg-hair and ashes. If we had not
fought against thee at Chicago
four years ago we weuld not now
be in such sad plight, and our
enemies, the Woodenrolercrats,
would not be gloating over us as
they are to-day.
Therefore, O Babbler of Bunk,
hear us! Give heed to our sup
plieation! Take note of our dis
tress signal! And may all former
Ill feeling be melted away in the
warmth Of Our appeal. Bring thy
crowd and come back to us. Or
else let us bring our name and
come over to thee. Anything,
Master Toothadore, just so we get
together. That s what it will take
to beat the tScrats and get the pie.
Even so be it. Amen.
The fool-killer., 1916-04-01
A NEW SPRING SERMON

Well, beloved, I spoze it's gittin
about time for me to oil up my
sermon mill and preach you an
other sermon on Spring. Ii you
remember. have been giving you
one or more sermons on Spring in
The Fool-Killer for the past six
years. You have alters smacked
your lips like they were good, and
I dreamed last night you wanted
another one. So here it am.
Of course, judgin by the ten-
perature Of the March wind as it
plays tag with a feller's thread
bare coat-tail, Spring amt hardly
eet here yet; but I can smell her
comm over the hill just luther
side Of next week.
After going through the suffer
mgs and hardships Of a rough
winter, the timely arrival Of gen
tie Spring is like swapping castor
oil for sourwood honey. It is like
being walked up out of a bad
dream by the kiss Of an angel. It
is like getting a divorce from cold
feet and marrying the queen Of
comfort.
The man who does not feel q
two-hoss thrill Of unutterable joy
eaper through his frost-bitten soul
at the coming of Spring has got
something bad the matter with
himself. He was either made
wrong. or put together wrong
after he was made. .r.
When young Spring takes old
Winter by the slack Of the pants
and tosses him back into the Val
ley of Used-to-be, there is a gene
raj jubilee Of rejoicing through
cut the kingdom Of Natare. All
the young green things come eut
and take of their hats and bow
to each other as politely as q
young rooster presenting his pal
let sweetheart with a new-found
worm. s..
Even the green young men and
the green girls catch the Infection
Of Spring, and before the doctor
can get there it has developed
into hopeless case Of puppy-love
and they swear they don't want to
get we'll.
Spring is very modest, and also
very uncertain, especially during
the first stages Of her coming. You
can't always know just what to
expect. Sometimes she will send G
warm day ahead to advertise fo1
her, and then she will fail to FL
the appointment. Again she will
drop in as unexpectedly as a mar
who has borrowed money from
you and has come te-borrow
Eore. M
WOOdDile saws he a1wavs AZ
The fool-killer., 1916-04-01

Woodpile says he always ae-
eepts an invitation to a fight. He
means, Of course, that he likes to
loek On frem a safe distance and
see somebody else fight. So did
Nero of Rome.
The fool-killer., 1916-04-01
"FOOL-KILLE STYLE"

I dunno why, but somehow q
great many people throughout the
country have sorter token q
fancy to my homemade style OF
CAB. I didn't know I was doing
anything great, but If my forty
five thousand subscribers are good
judges it must be fact that I
have blazed a new trail through
the editorial wilderness. Every
days mail bring dozens Of letters
just stopping over with praises Of
the fool stuff I write for these
colyums.
And I have been trying to fig
ger it all out and discover the
cause Of The Fool-Killer's won
derful popularity, One 'cenclu-
sion I have reached is this: Plain
honesty and sincerity Of purpose,
mixed with a little wholesome fun,
must be the key to the whole
thing. I have always tried to
impress my readers with the fact
that I am terribly in earnest about
what I say, even though I DO say
it in droll, homemade sort o.
manner. Some writer's are funny,
and others are serious, but I have
managed to mix fun and serious
ness little more successfully than
any other writer ever did.
When I first started out to be
a writer I made the same mistake
that so many others do. I tried
to out-do the Dictionary in the use
Of big, high-sounding, devil-chok-
ing words that hadn { been used
enough to wear the paint of Of
'em. But a few years Of experi-
enee cured me Of that foelisAness.
I gradually got wise to the fact
that a writer must keep his feet
on the ground. Especially If he
is writing for common folks to
read, he must use the plain, every
day language Of the eommon
folks.
I never in my life dreamed of
being funny writer" but just
as soon as I dropped into the
natural, easy, everyday dialect Of
the masses, my readers began to
laugh like they would split their
fool sides open, and they have
been laughing ever since. To save
my gizzard I can't see what they
are so tickled about, but I shore
do love to hear 'em haw-haw, just
the same.
/ And guess that the way this
here "Fool-Killer Style" got
started. I sea lots Of little editors
over the country are trying to
initiate it. I am the originator Of
"Johndee," "Woodpile, "Toeth-
adore Specksvelt,'' and other
similar expressions now in COM
mon use. But if you want the sho-
huff original, I 'spest yeu better
read The Fool-Killer.
The fool-killer., 1916-04-01
REPUBLICAN PRAYER.

Oh, thou almighty, all-toethy
and all-specky Toothadore Specks-
velt; thou who kickest mountains
out of thy way and swalloweth
bears and lions even as boy swal-
loweth watermelon seeds; thou
whose whisper soundeth like the
escaping steam from a busted boil
er, and whose frown withered
thine enemies even as the August
sun withereth a cabbage leaf.
Behold, we come sneaking inte
thy terrible presence once more
In the attitude of meekest humll-
|ity. Even as a nigger's foot fat
teneth itself in the mud, SO fat
ten we ourselves upon our bellies
before thee.
o thou great T. r. Eat-em-alive,
thou remembered the good old
days when thou didst go in and
out before us; yea, verify, when
thou didst lead us to victory as
easy as purity gal jumpeth a
branch. The mere mention of thy
name scattered all opposition,
even as the smell Of itch-grease
scattereth a Sunday School class
Thou didst preside at the pie
counter with gleat dignity, and
we were always on hand at meal
time.
Theu didst raise thy finger at us,
and we stood still to receive thy
commands.
Thou didst command us to hol-
Ter, and we hollored.
Thou didst command as to vote,
and we voted.
Thea didst take snuff, and we
meezed.
Theu didst eat onions, and our
breath was strong.
Sweet and pleasant to us, Great
Teethadere, is the memory of
these happy days when thou and
we were one and inseparable. No
thought of discerd entered our
minds, and the man who could
have prophecied a break between
as would have been laughed to
scorn.
Time passed.
It always does.
And no man has yet been able
to stop it.
An then, great Prophet, there
came the evil days in Chicago
when the devil got into us and we
rolled the cruel Steam Roller over
thy PROSTATE form. Then thou
didst get up and shake thyself
and organize the Bully Moosevelt.
ers. Alse thou sworest a terrible
swearment against as and dselar
ed that thou wouldst never pitcl
hoss-shoes in our back yard any
more. la our strange frenzy, c
Prophet Of Punk, we rejeiesd Al
thy undsing beheld IN the
same hour we were undone also.
i And we are still undoae.
To-day we are seeking diligsnt
" for leader whe can pilot u.
The fool-killer., 1916-04-01
BOOMING AT BOOMER.

Some folks said it would kill
The Fool-Kiler to move it. But
if they could see the way the clubs
are rolling in here at Boomer they
would talk out Of luther side Of
their mouths. 1t has actually sur
prised me the way the business
has gone right On booming in spite
Of the fact that I got awfully be-
hind with the work and haven t
caught up yet. I naturally ex-
pected the moving to slow it down
little for a month or two, but it
didn't. On the other hand, it
seems like the folks have just fall
len in love with Boomer. The
name is so short and easy to re-
member that they just delight in
addressing letters here. Keep it
up, friends! Let's make BOOM
Err the publishing center of the
South. There is nothing to hinder
The Fool-Killer from having a
million subscribers if you will all
just keep your shoulders to the
wheel. Hurrah, everybody!
The average soldier has no coun-
try TO lose,
And therefore he has none to
| save; ....
Els real estate is oil stuck TO his
He don't swn enough for q
grave.
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24
THE ROYAL THEATRE

The Royal has an exceptional bill to offer 10 the holiday patrons Mon day in the biggest and funniest comedy in which Charlie Chaplin has ever appeared lt is styled The Rink" and certainly it offers oppor
 unity fer the best there is in this ever poeuplar comedian The scenes are laid in a skating rink, in a society ball, and in elegant cafes, and Charlie gets in to all kinds of funny predi eaments before he has finished in his experiences
 The Royal has also 10 offer on this same program Opie Reids big two reel feature "Shanghied' which is one Of the most interesting comedy dramas that has been shown here in months It is big feature within itself
 You all know how intense has been the interest in the Belgium country since its invasion by Gernany lt is the cities and people of that country now who are attracting the sympathy of the neutral world Antwerp and other famous eioes are shown in the travel lnu.unns.a Ionday at the Royal makA omplete holiday bill tha en excelled within ~ ny moving ricture
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24
CHRISTMAS-TIDE
 CELEBRATIONS
SERVICES IN ALL THE CHURCHES TO-DAY ADDRESSED TO sUB-
 JECTS OF THE SEASON.
Tonight Public Illustrated Song Ser vice, and Grand Bail Tomorrow Night at the Arlington Hotel,

Christmas celebrations began in Hot
 Springs yesterday when there were
 lit3e peoples programs rendered in several localities during the afternoon
 and last night in some oi the churches
 the regular Christmas programs were
 scao duled Particularly at the First
 Baptist church and the First Presby-
 terion church wee the seasons pro grams interesting, and large audien- ces attended both these offerings.
 Today in all of the pulpits of the
 chmches of the city there vii. be |semons rom Christmas tide subjects and especially arranged music f3r the 0CCasln
 Tonight an innovation will be in. troduccG the form of a public song
 service which will be taken part in at Central and Reserve avenues in the open air. and there are a hundred voices scheduled for the chorus of the Christmas carols
 Monday will be Christmas proper, and business generally win be sus- pended. There are some church on- terainments arranged for the day by some Of the organizations. The Elks will have their Christmas tree enter
 tainmont for the poor. and with their customary charity will dispense gift
 of al. sorts to 100 of the children or
 tae poor on that occasion. The Knights Templar will convene at their hal 2t fl o'clock promptly for the brief ceremonial that is universal with that order
 The Associated Charities. the Sal vation Army, the Juvenile League, and other organizations will be busy throughout the day dispensing the charity they have provided for in the weeks before Christmas There vii
 be no uufed mouths on Christmas day n bHs city or county if they can be lated through dilgent organiza-
 tions seeking their work complete. The Home of the Good shepherd on Malvern avenue has arranged Christmas entertainment and Christ ias trees Tor 7 o'clock Monday after. noon and extends special invitation.
 10 the public generally 10 come 10 this institution on this occasion. This in attutiou has been provided in all abundant manner for their inmates, and desires that the public see what plcndid Christmas offering they have this year.
 The Christmas feature 1u.9e Uc society folks, as is always the .a.e. will be the grand Chris .mas Bal' a. the Arlington hotel Manager Cor. rington always provides splapdidly for these occasions, and a special mus ical program win be offered by Pro lRrton's orchestra The decorations are seasou1blo and beaJtful The hludsomo grill rooms have been ope1- od for this occasion and table reser- vations have been sought with much enthusiasm.
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24
HARRY 6. BELL TENDERS
 MAURICE RESIGNATION
POPULAR BATH HOUSE MANIAC ER EXPECTS TO ANNOUNCE HIS New INTERESTS
 SHORTLY.

Harry C. Bel one q the most wide ly known residents of Hot Springs and acquainted with thousands Of visitors because of his hotel and bath house connections, yesterday tender ed 10 William G Maurice president Of the Maurice bath house company, his resignation as manager of that lathjug establishment. The resiena- ton was accepted with regrets by Mir. GaG1ct. who. in turn. gave to Mr. Bel a letter containing his express sion of sincere thanNs for dhc taithlul ser wee Mr. Bel, had rendered and fo. Che able manner in which the busi. ness of the Maurice bath house had been looked after while under Mr Bells supervision
 For the past 70 years Harry C Bel has been identified with Hot Springs and the citys interests For many years he was manager af tue Wluke- sba hotel. but resigned that position when the Maurice bath house was bait to become it's manager Thous- ands of visitors have met and learned tG appreciate his kindly interest in their tohalC his genial and mos. ai- fable nature being an asset that won for him a circle of friends all over the country
 AT Be. anticipates making an nogaccment shortly of his new inter
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24
Stopped chiIdren's Group Cough.

Three weeks agO two Of my chil. dren began choking and coughing. ouI | saw they we-e having an attack of croup' writes Billie Nayborry. Eek ert. Ga. T got q bottle of Foley'5 Hone y& T2r and gave them a dose before bedtime and soon their cougn stopped and they fell asleep. Next their cough and all sign of croup was gone.' Fo,ey's Honey X
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24

We nave m operation a ciro ar system throughout out plant, prevents fly from lighting. The N teurlzed Milk Go. s.1'
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24

est ,u this city as it is understood he has been offered and accepted a position os considerable importance In Hot springs
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24
said Ke.tIe. .You.re another,

Said Kettle, You're another" The ruth? l lind on looking back That Pot was Kettles brother. And both were right as right could be- And that's the way with you and mc Whlte'er We do of good or ill Lets not forget we're brothers still.
 DIR. J. A. ROBERTSON
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24

Dr. J. F. Merritt, calls answered day or night, Office phone Al, res. tdence 426. No. 370h Central avenue.
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24

D7 E. r. Vinegar mas rex his practice and can be office 3i6-34S Central ay g to i2 and 8 to . pm.
The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-24

Tar is a standard low-priced rem for colds, bronchitis, la grippe coug A. C. Jennings.
Arizona republican., 1916-08-23
JUDGE VAN FLEET
 MAY PRESIDE HERE
California Jurist May Help Judge sswteIle Get Rid of Heavy Fall
 Dockets During October.

For the second time since Arizona became a state, the federal court in this district may be sraced by the presence of a distinguished California jurist. For the october term in this city, Judge William C. Van Fleet of san Francisco is being considered
 There is a good deal of heft 10 the federal dockets in all the four districts this fall. Judge Sawtelle. who in the regular course of events. would pre- side in Phoenix during October and in Tucson in November. will probably spend both months in the old Pueblo. the first month. getting the civil docket cleared for the exceptionally heavy criminal calendar that must be waded into beginning the first Mon- day In November Should Judge Van Fleet come to Phoenix he will be the second. Judge William Morrow of the ninth circuit court of appeals, having
Arizona republican., 1916-08-23
PRICES PA,- TODAY BY
 WALTER HILL CO.

A SHORT VACATlON-Leon Jacobs left last night for Los Angeles on a tour of mingled vacation and business
 VISITS ExPOSITiON-Mrs Laura Brill of this city is visiting in San Diego. where she has been taking in the exposition as the guest of Mir and Mrs. F. D. Murtha. of North San Diego.
 FROM RAY coN.-L. S. Gates. of Ray. general manager of the Ray Consolidated Copper Company, is in town for a few days on business
 HELD FOR EXAMINATION - Francisco Quivis and Joaquin April, arrested for the robbery of Charles Tebeek two years ago. were arraigned in Justice De Souza's court yesterday and were held in the sum of 5000 for their preliminary examination next Monday.
 EXAM NAT IoNs-Civil service tests will he given at the local of- flee in tho federal building as fol- lows: September 13-15, assistant examiner for patent office; Septem- Der 19. mechanical draftsman for ordinance department Cat large), cook-baker for both men and women: September 21, junior fuels chemist
 BACK TO TUCSON-Mrs. NJ. D. Torres has returned to Tucson. after a stay of months in Phoenix
 CASES APPEALED-The case of the Navajo Apache Bank and Trust company. w. H. Burbage and F. w Nelson. versus Carolina Desmont and William H. Wahl, was appealed from the superior court of Mohave county 1 yesterday to the supreme court of the state The case in the matter of the fat lf A. Manuel Escalada versus John w. Will son. was also appealed from the su- perior court of Santa Cruz county. GOOD PUBLIcITY--Unique in the annals of publicity is that recently received by the Salt River project in folder issued by the First Ma i tional Bank, of Oelwein. Iowa The 1 folder is issued weekly, and each issue carries facts and photos of some Of the remarkable things in this era of progress. Along with the article and picture of Roosevelt Dam are features relating to other great scientific and engineering feats of this century, notably the aeroplane. | wireless and automobiles.
 RAY BUSINESS MEN-Wm Null CT and George Starge. of Ray. prom inent business men, are guests of the Adams hotel while here on A short business trip. Other guests include C. P. Syndail. of Los An geles; Ramon Elias, of Nogales: Jose C. Cannon, of Nogales; l.. $ Gates. of Ray; F. J. Young. of Pfoe- nix: F. P. Cruice, of Phoenix; c. j. Mcdonald. of Santa F'e; Miss Louise Starger. Of Ray; w. H. Kenney of Chicago: n. R. Cook. of Los An geles; w A. Robbins and wife, of Ray, Howell Jucs of Topeka. Great Salt ador and wife. of Topeka; E. F Smith, of Santa Fe: w. Light Of Los Angeles; c. T. Hutchins, of Los Angeles; E F. Sypher. of Ray: R. A Thielen, of Los Angeles; R. C. Pickett. of Globe: R. T. Jones, of Superior: w. Calcord. of Flagstaff w. Babbitt. of Flapstaff; A. H Brunner, of Los Angeles: J. R. Ulies sen, of Los Angeles: c. W. Sparks of Los Angeles: w. p. Bowman. oi Denver, and o. F. Anderson. of Kan sns City