davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

Teacher Robert. how is it you haven't
your lesson? 1t couldn't have n'eh so
very hard to learn.
Hobby-No, please, teacher II WASH
because 1t was so hard to learn, pu' pe-
cause 1t was 80 easy to forget -poS'"'
Transcript
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
SWEET REVENGE

Ramkin-These masculine style
women are the limit, aren', they
Phyle-Nes, but they have given
sweet revenge for which I have
waited,
Rankin Revenge"
ihvle-Ycs In the music room,
moments ago. I just saw Mis-. Gi
sit down on her own silk hat-Ju
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
WAR AND SCIENCE.

(From the Detroit FREQ Press)
An Englishman has invented nom
slippable oEg-Cup for use OF one-arfhed
people War never created necessity
That science didn't meet.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
IN THE SAME BOAT

Woo is mo. She won't have 4
suit has been rejected.
Mine. too The laundry declines
the responsibility of washing il any
Kansas City Journal
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
GOOD RTSINESS

There's nothing in monkey bus
"All depends. I know fellow
makes pretty good thing OF it sur
apes to shows ".-Louisville =
Journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
LED ASTRAY.

From the Hogwallow Kentuckian)
Atlas Peck started in last week to dig
a cstern at his home, but abandoned the
project after going few Zee down, hay
ing found enough tshng-Woms to last
him the rest of the sumner.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
SFLF-IiELP.

GardencY NoluutarN helper, +
eggs collected for wounded soldiers
allowed to keep all the cracked egg
If there ba!n't enough cracked
crack ON myself. Puck.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
~ TIE DARK.

The only man she knew who lisp'
ed her up on the phone and said
thith you, Ruth? Well, Gueth VIII
ith?"-Scrihner' Magazine.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

II becomes much easier to get along
with others when we have grasped the
fact that at least some of the faults tNat
we see in them We have ourselves AL
bany Journal
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
HIS IDEAL

Look here. sam: don't you believe that
an honest man is the nohleSt work or
Cod"
"Well, sab, Use done gihen mp de IDEA
oh bcin de nohcst work ob God; AL !
asks les to make a livn'."-lif"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
CHITTENDEN COUNTY TRUST CO..
INVESTING MONEY.

People having trust FUNDS want
safe place fey the investment Of tie
same. our savings department affords
ample security and the interest gives
substantial income
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

1t takes alllkinds of people to make th'
worlds troubles, and the more people IT,,
more troubles
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

Who believes he is never in the wrong
is only occasionally in the right.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
THE COST OF COURTS.

on page eight of the treasurer's Gnan-
cia statement for the year ending IN y
!, 1916. appears an item which will Civ
many Nermonters cold chlls. 1t is brief,
but pregnant with financial woe:
Administration of justice-sil7.S7G99.
Covering the same period to July /, 1911,
the cost was s3SS 1884 Going back ov -
term of years, we find the costs steadi =
increasing, from s29G9.96 in 1901 to go,
1881 in 1918, and then on up
Vermont taxpayers will do we'll to sttI
and ask themselves the searsn-
ing question: "Why?" | there more
crime in the State? Is there sui.
stantially more litigation? Is Justice an
cheaper? Have any of the measures re-
sponsih,e for these terrific increases baau
successful in aiding the cause of quckct
and cheaper justice for the poor litigant
The Herald pauses for an answer, hi,
finds none. on the contrary. it seem
quite reasonable to expect that the cost
will continue to climb steadily to tho
half million mark and beyond. and TN.
in state no larger in population than -
third-class American city and no hettc,
ole to stand the heavy annual cost.
Extending the jurisdiction of the munro
! ipal courts, establishing workrnen'
compensation act, increasing the numhe,
OF Judges ana SllNplltHlnE to some de
gree the legal procedure governing cour
/ was expected to work an Improvements.
! Apparently II has not done so. and az.
! parently the Legislature will convene +.
January with the same old problem {
face, viz. another failure of leEislati u
/ eNpedientS to reduce the cost Of courts
| The membership of the coming I.egis.a.
| ture seems likely 70 comprehend the usul
number Of lawyers several of them o'
legislative experience and many Of then
of more than ordinary ability. Iuasmuc'
HS the present top-heaVY system ot cour.'
7 has failed to produce the expected re
suits, ii seems clearly the duty of som,
I foresight ed ANA competent member to t..
the lead in radical. sweeping movcmcn
/ to cut down the high cost OF the admins
tration of justice.
II the Herald might offer lavman'
opinion. it would revive its suggestions O
merging the superior judges in the su
prcme court. abolishnE the Office Of at
torney-general and abulishng certT'l
municipal courts which are mere politi"a
appendices Of complaiSant administra
tons and serve no adequate public end
If the lawyers do not see fit to lead II
this important matter, The Herald has
notion that the laYmcn will.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE
TRY 1T AGAIN

! admire the chap
With the smile on his map
Though Foutrune has dealt him a
derous rap
And knocked him clean down on 4
Of his lap,
Whose only remark is, Gee whiz
a slap,
I'll try it again"
I'm there with the guy
With the CLEAN in his eye.
Though Fate has let loose still
near the thigh
And has scattered his pride all o'
sky.
Whose only retort is, "Doggonit
Don't go We agin."
I'm strong for the brick
With the courage to stick.
Though Failure has bounded hi
the Old Nick
And has Camped on his trail throu
and through thick,
Whose happy comeback is, I'm
the trick:
Let's do it again"
Boston Ira
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

Most OF us do more or less gambling as
we so through life, even though we nevor
touch card or dice-box but we don't call
II by that name.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

The downward path is easy only for
those who are inclined to take It,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
PASSING THOUGHTS.

Forget your dislikes; let your though s
dwell upon things that please YOU.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19

q. j. BOOTH, President.
u. ID. MORTiiEN, Treasurer.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1916-10-19
uCELINGTO.

JOHN J. FLYNN, Nicc-prcd
IIAUNiE '. HALL. Asst. Tired
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
Crooked Straits.


 Perhaps the most remarkable and intricate strait in the world is likely to be chucked on the scrap heap. It's day, which began late in history, is almost over The Panama canal has diverted most of it's traffic and will presently divert much more. The fla nous explorer Magellan was the first man to brave the dangers of this tor tuous passage He did it in wind jammer. but as a rule only steamships follow in his train. It is too crooked strait for the sailing ship.
 In the first place. the strait of Magel- Ian is 400 miles long. It is as twisty and bendy serpent or an eel. and in places it is f1anked with snow cap ped mountains 1000 feet high.
 It would help matters if ships coutd anchor, but they cannot The water is too deep. So this strait las never been popular with sailing shippers, and they prefer the rigors of the Horn and several hundred miles farther around
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04

It takes a hundred men to make an eucampment, <but it takes only the in Guence of one woman to make home. I not only admire woman as the most beautiful object ever created, but l reverence her as the redeemed glory of humanity the sanctuary of all virtues, the pledge of all perfect qualities of heart and head. It is because women are sojmuch better than men that their faults are considered greater. The one thing in this world that is considered constant, the only peak that rises above the clouds, the window in which the light burns forever, the one star that darkness cannot ,quench, is wo- mans love. It rises to the greatest height; it sinks to the lowest depths; it forgives the most cruel injuries. A woman's love is the perfume of the heart. This is the real love that sub dues the earth; the love that has wrought miracles of art; that gives us music all the way from cradle song to the grand symphony that bears the soul away on wings of fire-a love that is greater than power. sweeter than life and stronger than death Robert G. IngersOll.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
The Cheering Wasn't Renewed.

Professor R. W. Lee of NcGi1 uni versity law school was once address ing the Ontario Bar association, and the Osgoode hall students were pres ent Of course Dean Lees address had to be punctuated by the usual stu dents outbursts. Dean Lee touched on ancient and modern law and the methods of lawyers and judges Tax ing up one line of legal problems, he said: Now. if I asked a lawyer of such and such an age this question he would answer so aEd something to that effect. But. coming down to the present day, if I were to ask the same question of an Osgoode hall stu .dent'- Instantly the noise began The students yelled and cheered and applauded and stamped on the floor and pounded their desks. It was some noise, but at last it subsided- Dean Lee, unruff1ed, went on to say, If I were to ask an Osgoode hall student he would answer, I don't know ''- Silence.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
SULLIVAN HELD
 FOR PLOTTING
(Contfnued from Page 1D


 After service on the reportorial staff of the Waterbury American, some years ago, Sullivan entered Yale I,~w school. He worked nights in New Ha- ven, earning his tuition and other col 1ege expenses
 In competition, Sullivan awarded the coveted Townsend oratoricaI prize the highest honor accorded Yale grad uates in that direction.
 Following his graduation, he re- moved to New York city where he was admitted to the bar. He was per- sona1 counsel for Bald Jack Rose in the celebrated trials that followed the murder of Herman Rosentha1. the gambler. It was on Sullivan's advice that Rose made the confession that played a big part in the conviction of Becker and four gunrnen for the raur- der.
 Governor Whitman, who tried Beck CT and the gunmen, was one of SulIi- vans warmest endorsers when his candidacy for the post of minister to San Domingo became known Shortly after he was appointed to that post, Sullivan was the center of many charges alleging his t'temperame entaI unfitness" for the office.
 Following Senate investigation, Sullivan resigned. With his family, he went to the home of his father-in-law a wealthy native of Limerick, Ireland He has been in Ireland since.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
BAGGAGE LOST, HE
 TIES UP STEAMER
 WITH ATTACHMENT; I;

How a trunk belonging to a Bridge port pedd1er careless1y dropped over board from a Pennsylvania Railroad CO boat tied up a big steamer, in c1uding her engines, hawsers, life boats and even dishes, became public when settlement of a damage suit amounting to $500 was recorded in the city court.
 Max Burg. living at s36 Madison avenue, was making a trip from Mon tauks Point to Connecticut last sum nrer when his trunk was let slip into the waters of the Sound He. asked damages of the Montauk Steamboat Go. operated by the Penhsy1vania Railroad
 When settlement was not forth coming the case was placed in the hands of an attorney and Sheriff J. H. Tnbbs of New London was furnished with a writ of attachment against the steamer Nassau sailing from New London to Block Island.
 Thesyesse1 is said to have been held for some hours from it's regular trip, the attachment being so broad that the dishes in the pantry were emu merated in the return. Bonds for the release of the big steamer were secured with some difficulty on the day of service.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
MAN HIGHER UP"
 IS BLAMED FOR
 FREIGHT TROUBLE
Railroad Won't Pay Men, and Nobody Admits Au-
 thority, Investigator Finds

Hartford, May 4-Former rrest- dent Frank H. Johnston, of the Con nectieut Chamber of Commerce. de- clared today at a meeting of the di- rectors of that body in this city that freight troubles in Connecticut the last few months could be laid definite 1y at the door of the great transpor- tahon companies. He asserted today he had become convinced from inves- ugation that conditions in different cities were not handled effectively by the New Haven road but that the road could have capable men in authority to deal with such matters if it wo1lId pay for them. He pointed out that a local freight agent was vested with practically no auth hority, the train and yard. masters in about the same posi- ton and everybody having anything in charge had to confer with some body higher up
 A number of directors took part in the discussion Secretary Thomas T Kelly, of the manufacturers associa- ton, thought that a good deal of the trouble was caused by unskilIedA> help.
 Ralph O. Wells, of this city. the state chambers legal representative. was instructed to aid in the prosecu- tion of an appeal to the supreme court from the decision of Judge Walsh, of the Fairfield county common pleas court holding the billboard law unconstitutional.
 y An Invitation to hold the annual of the state chamber in Mid dletown, Oct 19, was accepted
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
WOODEN SHOES
 MAY BE VOGUE
 IN BERLIN AGAIN
Leather Costly, School Chil- dren Take To Use of Old
 Fashioned Footwear.

Berlin, May 4-After more than a
 century and half of relative unpopu- l 1arity and disuse, except among the ing the vogue with school children
 once more. and their use is being ac- lively and practically encouraged by school authorities.
 The reason. of course, is the scar
 city and unprecedented expensive
 nessf of leather shoes which gradually
 have caused people to forget the old
 time dislike of and stigma attaching
 to wooden shoes. Hundreds of school
 children in the past few weeks have taken, either to leather shoes with wooden soles, or to the old alI-wooden
 "pantine.''
 The first move in favor of a resump-
 ton of wooden shoes was taken by the
 school auth critics in notifying teach CTS that they should countenance the use of such things in spite of all the noise made when the children clatter- ed about the bare floors in them
 Then the authorities of the suburb of Litchterfelde went step farther and offered a premium of one mark to all children being in part or entirely supported who. would wear wooden shoes with wooden soles for period of four weeks. Those authorities who have charge of supporting the families of soldiers spent a considerable sum of money in the purchase of several hundred pairs of-shees, which were of fered to the public at prices ranging from a little over dollar to a dollar and a half a pair.
 At drst only the boys took to the new shoes, but gradually the girls too have adopted them, and hundreds or children of both sexes wear them to school daily and save their expensive ld l-Yn IoV occasions. Gradually they are winning a vogue in other parts of Berlin, and, of course, are widely worT in the coun- try districts.
 The history of the ''pantine" or wooden slipper, generally without heels of any sore, goes back for centuries Along in the early years of the 18th century an edict was issued in Prussia against their use, and not only were persC ms who disobeyed punished, but communities which permitted their use were fined heavily. F'of a long time, however. they continued to be so pop uIar that the edict had to be renewed more than once.
 People really stopped wearing them only when they became a sort of badge of poverty, and their use has never entirely disappeared in country districts where they are far better protection than leather against mud and wet, and where their durability naturally comments itself to the peasants
 Paper shortage, like the leather shortage, is also having its effects in the Prussian schools in the decree by the minister of education that from now on sIates shall to the fullest pos sibIe extent replace the o1d-time pa per booklets in which the children have been accustomed to do theH Ies- sons.
 In issuing his decree, Minister von Trott zu Solz called the attention of teachers to the fact that because of the shortage of paper children who still have to use the bound books must be made to use up every available sDace and that the books no longer needed to be enclosed in a heavy paper cover, all of which goes to waste.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04

ny HaNeIs @,>,--e,. s.A-s4 ,i4e .,eN ellth Od Y airy marches to the inspiring tune of Garry Owen. but the Halls of Mon tezuma" is sung by all who wear the marines uniform. One verse of the song, a favorite one, runs:
 Our fag's unfurleds toceVery breeze
 From dawn to setting sun ae We have fought in every cline and place
 Where we could take a gun.
 In the snow of farof northern lands
 And in sunny trooic scenes
 You will find us always the job,
 The United States marines.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
CORONER ACCEPTS THEORY
 OF MURDER AND SUICIDE

New Haven, May 4-Coroner Eli Mix, it was stated from his office to- day, is satisfied that Mrs. Louis Holz- wig, who was found dead in Ansonia yesterday beside the body of her eight years old foster daughter, Alkaline, killed the child and then took her own life, and there will be no fur tfer examination.
 Mrs. Holzwig, it is believed, feared that the child might be taken from her during proceedings which were to have been started yesterday for formal adoption of the child by the HOIzWigS.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
OFFICERS TOOK
 CASH, CHARGE
 OF LACQUER co.
Concern Sues Perkins Broth CTS, Alleging They Misap-
 propriated Funds.

Charging that the defendants wrongfully appropriated certain as- sets belong to the concern. the Ameri- can Lacquer Co. of this city, has has brought suit against President and Secretary Hal T. Perkins and Vice President and Treasurer Charles E. Perkins for $3,000.
 In papers filed today in the superior court it is stated that from July 1, 1915, to January 1, 1916, while the defendants were officers of the com pany, they took assets valued at $2,- 357.53 and converted them to their own use The suit is returnable to the May term.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
OFFICIAL NOTICE

To whom it may concern.- Application having been made by W.a.H. Farrell, of this district, for change of name of the gas yacht ss5aAda-" and the full requirements of the law having been compiled with, the Commissioner of Navagiation, un- der date Of April 27, 1916, has au- thor1zed the change of name of the said gas yacht -sHaida'' to that of Mystery
 JAMES L. McGOVERN,
 Collector of Customs
 R rS
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04

What kind of organization is the United Confederate Veterans? Is it PoIiticaI2 When was it started7
 It is not political. It was organized at New Orleans, June 10, 1889. Its avowed purpose is social, literary, his torical and benevolent. Its constitu- ton says that it twill endeavor to unite In a general federation all associations of Confederate veterans, soldiers and sailors now in existence or hereafter to be formed; to gather authentic data for an impartial history of the war between the states; to preserve relics or mementos of the same; to cherish the ties of friendship that should exist among men who have shared common dangers, common sufferings and pri- vatiOns; to care for the disabled and extend helping hand to the needy; to protect the widows and the orphans and to make and preserve a record of the services of every member and, as far as possible, of those of our com rades who have preceded us in eterni- ty-" State organizations are authorized and are called divisions. The perma- nent headquarters of the association Is at New, Orleans Number of camps, 1,796; number of members according to last report, estimated at about 40 900 to 5o,O0O.G
 To what company of cavalry do ne- groes belong in the army? How many negroes in the United States army?
 The Ninth and Tenth cavalry; also the Twenty-fourth and Twenty-fifth infantry and two companies of army service school detachment. About 5000.
 Please tell me the names of the statesmen who composed the confer ence of Berlin to settle the Balkan question in 1878 and the countries which they represented
 The delegates from Great Britain at the congress of Berlin, 1878, were Lord Beaconsfield, Lord Salisbury and Lord Russell; from Russia, Prince Gortscha- koff, Count Shuvalof and Baron d'Ou- bril-; from Germany, Prince Bismarck Prince Hohenlohe and General von Buelow; from Austria Hungary, Count Andrassy, Count Karolyi and Baron Haymerlc; from France. NJ. Wadding- ton and the Comte de Saint-Vallier; from Italy, Counts Corti and de Lau- nay, and from Turkey, KaratheodOri Pasha, Sadoullah Bey and Mehmet Ali Pasha. Delegates from Montenegro, Servia, Greece and Roumania attended the sessions in which their states were concerned. but were not members of the congress. The object of the con ference was to settle the eastern qUes- tion and especially those phases of it which had grown out of the Russo Turkish war;
 Please give the most accurate num- ber obtainabIe of loss of life in Johns town (Pa.) and Galveston CTe>e.) disas- ters.
 Johnstown disaster May 31, 1889, lives lost 2,142; Galveston, Sept 6-9, 1900, about 1000 lives lost
 Is the exportation of foodstuffs from the United States, including grain and meats, increasing or decreasing?
 It is decreasing. In 1912 our exports of foodstuffs were only 19 per cent of our total exports as against 3S per cent of the whole in 1902 and 50 per
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
Amateur MotoriSt
 Runs Off Roadway

Today is the first day that Joseph M. Stemple of BarnuIn avenue, Stratford, has had an automobile li- cense He was driving his car in Mid dIe street, south, this noon when he approached Traffic Policeman Tier ney. The car went to the left k of Tierney, mounted the sidewalk on Fairfield avenue and crashed into newsstand. Nobody was hurt. Stem pie was arrested.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
Diamonds.

Diamonds are supposed to hes com posed of pure ureiaarbouIdnrAt slaa stif ifi1e authorities tell Us that such is tlra case. Tl,e genesis of the diamond re- mains one of the unsolved problems of science, with the balance of the evi- dence favOring the theory of vegetable origin.-New York American.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
His Own Fault.

Said the waiter to a noisy card par ty in a hotel bedroom: i've been sent to ask you to make less noise. gentle men. The gentleman in the next room. says lie ean't 1read!,s g9b7etseX h9oupo
 .Ten him. was the reply Of fine host, ''that he ought, to De ashamed of himself Why, 1 could read when was five years old d.''-Pittsburgh Tele- graph.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-05-04
One May to Rest.

There is u9ghipg that will rest you so quickly as to- Sit on straight back chair and, dfti1tg the feet from the floor, push them out in front of you as far as pOssible.i stretch the arms, put the head back open the mouth wide and make yourself yawn.