davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Young Efficiency EXPERT.

Caler-So your son Willie has got a
job as office boy. How is he getting on? :?
Fond Mother-Splendidly! He al
ready knows who ought to be discharged
and is merely waiting to get promoted
so that he can attend to it.-Boston
TRANSCRIPT
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12

How did you like that interior set
ting?' asked the realistic producer For
real room, except that it had only
three walls, could you beat it?'
"Well,' said the morose critic, I'D
have been more contented during the
play if you had added the fourth wall"
Judge.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Magnet the Thief of Time.

The magnet is responsible for a great
deal of trouble with watches, as any
jeweler will tell you. Never go near a
dynamo with a watch in your pocket I'M
less you are sure that it is made of non
magnetic material. This applies especial
ly to the hair spring.-Farm and Fire
side
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
\ Warming.

You had better be careful Miss Fir
ty, or you will find yourself up against
the law
"Oh, what do you mean?'
why, you have such a killing way of
shooting glances at a fellow. -Balti-
moro american.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Well, Well!

Did YOU ever aim at deer in the
Adrondacks and bag a guide?"
II did more than that. | aimed at
dear in a drawing room and bagged
bride. FLORIDA Times-Union.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
STRIKE IN COVINGTON.

Machinists at the plant of the EIous-
ton, Stanwood and Gamble company, at
Third and Philadelphia streets, Coving-
ton. left their tools Thursday and de
clarcd themselves on strike The
plant is one OF the largest in Covington.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Highly important.

1t is highly important when a man
makes up his mind tew bekum raskall
that he shud examine hisself clusly and
see if he amt better konstructed for a
phool.- osh Billings
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Sure Sign.

Nelie-Do you think Paul cares for
Mamie?
Emma-Did you ever hear a young
man refer to red haired girl as having
auburn tresses unless he loved herr
Exchange.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
The Traditional Nine.

Hokus-I have tried to kill that cat at
least eighteen times.
Pokus-Well, | suppose even cat
may lead a double life.-Pittsburgh
Press
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Practical Appraiscmcnt.

Ma, James asked me last night to
share his lot
Did he say whether it was one in a
good building section?' - Baltimore
american.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Caught the Habit.

why were you late?'
My watch was slow"
Il know it. That's from going with
you so much. Harvard Lampoon.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Experience.

Experience would be wonderful as
set but for one thing
Whats that
You can never sell it for what it
cost vOu.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12

1t is estimated that the cost OF war
Tor another year will be about $33 ,OOO,-
OOO,O0O-and almost as many heart
aches, we may add.-Dctroit Free
Press
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Very True,

Hazel--lt's always to mans credit
when he stops drinking.
Omar-Sometime it is due to his lack
of crcdit-Indianapoli Star.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12

Industry is the right hand and fru-
galty the left hand of fortune.-Old
Saying.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12
Explained.

Pa, what's innocuous desuctudc ? "
Its what ! fall into, son when your
mother and caller start to discussing
the servant problem - Birmingham
Age Icrald
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-02-12

Poverty is the north wind that lasheS
men into viking
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
CALLS ON GIBBONS
Billy Sunday Makes Visit to
Catholic Cardinal.
Noted Church Men Have sSure
Enough Tanning Bee."

Baltimore, Md, March cardinal
Gibbons received Billy Sunday at the
archiepiscopal residence Friday. The
visit of the noted evangelist was purely
social. 1t was arranged by Dr. How
ard Kelly. the noted surgeon, who ac-
companied Sunday to the cardinals
home. Ma" Sunday was also in the
party.
Sunday and the cardinal chiefly dis
cussed the difficulty of speaking to
large audiences
Throat Not AiIing.
81 don't see how to manage to
make all those persons hear you"
smiled the cardinal after the informal
Introduction was done. "I remember
one time when 1 had to address a great
multitude in the open air. The meet
ing was in kind of public square and
oh, it was very difficult making N.Y.
self heard to all those persons
How is your throat getting on, Mr..
Sunday" he asked. ct understand
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

from the newspapers that you have
had laryngitis.'
Yes" answered the evangelist, but
DIR. Kelly here" and he waved his
hand toward the surgeon, land Mrs
Sunday are taking care of me-
I'm delighted to hear it," the
cardinal responded.
Talk Baseball.
Sundays baseball experiences were
spoken of by the cardinal, who is him
self rather ardent fan.
The cardinal asked Sunday if he had
ever played baseball in Baltimore
Sunday said he hadn't, but wished he
had He should have, the cardinal
said He said that this was town
that used to be worth playing ball in.
They talked of Arson, of McGraw
of Jennings and of the famous Oriole
champs of 20 years ago Both
were pretty we'll agreed that Arson
was the king of first sackers. McGraw
and Jennings, it was evident, had a
warm spot in the hearts of both. The
cardinal referred to the former Oriole
shortstop as "Hughey."
1.-The good old days of baseball are
gone,'' said the cardinal, and Sunday
yielded a ready assent.
st enjoyed meeting Mr.. Sunday very
much and wished him Godspeed," said
the cardinal later.
And Billy Sunday declared: II
never met the cardinal and wanted to"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS
III. s. Putney Wants Men to Boost for
Good Roads.

Twenty Topeka citizens will meet
at the Commercial club rooms Mon
day noon at the request of H. S. Put
ney, president of the new Kaw Valley
Improved Highway association. They
will be asked to volunteer their ser
vices during the coming month and
canvass practically every farm home
in Shawnee county on any of the pro-
posed hard surface routes on the To-
peka- Kansas City highway.
IF they can't do the work we don't
want them on our committee said
Mr.. Putney today. Il realize that
some will find it impossible to make
the canvass but we want to know in
advance and thus not be disappointed
when they don't show up for work
Those to be present at the meeting
are: George Stansfield, Thomas
Whiteker. E. H. Crosby, JOHN Tomp-
kins, J. r. Burrow, S. E. Cobb, Earl
Akers, ]. B. Billiard, Robert Billiard,
Phil Billiard, Herbert West, Stanley
Medlicott, D. o. Coe. D. P. Paxton,
Joe Longshore. Charles Crews W. I.
Miller. T. A. Beck, Joe Radcliffe and
William Axtell.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
PARADE OF C. A. R.
Veterans VIII Honor Their Ma
tional Commander Tonight.
He Will Deliver an Address at
Memorial Hall.

Nearly 1000 veterans of the @. A.
r. and members of the auxiliary or
CARNATIONS will march In parade from
the National hotel to Memorial hall
in honor of the visit of Elias G. Mont
fort of Cincinnati, national comman-
der of the G. A. r.
Several Topeka members of the G..
A. r., including Captain P. H. Coney,
who is a member of the commanders
staff, went to Kansas City this morn
ing to meet him and his party. He
has been holding patriotic receptions
in Kansas City for the past two days.
Commander Montfort will arrive
over the Santa Fe this evening. With
him will be Topeka reception COM
nnittee, Mrs. DeLacey Roche, national
president of the Ladies of the d. A.
r.; Mrs. Carrie Alexander Bahren-
berg, national president of the Wom-
ems Relief Corps, and Adj. Gen. John
NJ. Adams, The parade will form at
the National hotel at o'clock and
will march to Memorial hall under
the direction of Adjutant General
Brassffeld. Captain Montfort will then
speak in Memorial hall.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
MAY BUY HIS BUST
Topekans Plan to Preserve the Mem
DRY of General Caldwell.

Is Memorial hall to have the statue
of General Caldwell, by Merrill Gage,
now on exhibition at the city library :?
A movement has been started by sew
eral Topekans, including Mrs. L. d.
Whittemore, Mr.. Scott Hopkins anc
Mrs. George Whitcomb, to purchase
the bust and give it to the State His
torical society.
General Caldwell is one of the best
known men who have ever lived in
Topeka. At the time of his death he
was the only surviving major general
of the Civil war. He commanded a
division at Gettysburg. He was for
years in the diplomatic service
General Caldwell was known to
hundreds of Topekans and had many
friends. He was man of remarkable
learning and culture. Capt. j. G..
Waters said of him: '"Fo talk with
him was like opening a useful book.
He was informed on everything" He
was a great student of history and
philosophy and it is in this aspect that
Gage has modelled him.
The bust is one of Cages earliest
considerable works but shows no
weakness and is distinguished by great
insight according to friends of the
general A bronze permanent bust
would be made which would cost
about 5000. General Caldwell died a
few yeas ago at his home in Topeka.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
E. C. OSBORN
WATCH MAKER
Successor to C. e. Buhre.
Mr.. Osborn was formerly asso-
stated with the

Mr.. Osborn was formerly dsso-
ciated with the
SANTA FE WATCH co.
as their special watch adjuster-
However, his intentions had always
! been to go into business Tor MIN
self and he only awaited the right
opportunity to do so.
That opportunity arrived with
the death of Mr.. c. E. Buhre. who
conducted a jewelry and watch re-
pairing business at GOA Kansas
avenue.
He is now established at 6O4
Kansas avenue and is ready and
competent to satisfactorily take
care of trade. He invites all OF
Mr.. Buhre's customers to come in
and get acquainted and to his own
friends he extends the same invita-
ton.
Mr.. Osborn is one of the best
watch makers in Kansas. He has
been at the business over IS years;
he is a graduate of the Parsons
Horological Institute. now the Hor-
illogical Department of the Bradley
Polytechnic Institute of Peoria, Ill,
which is affiliated with the Chicago
University.
While in the watch making bust
ness Mr.. Osborn says he has re-
paired thousands and thousands OF
watches of all descriptions. If
there is a watch that he can't re
pair. he would like the pleasure OF
seeing it.
Tell your friends, your family
and everybody else that he is now
at their service. He knows that
if they will try him once in his line
that he will have no trouble what
soever in holding their trade.
His past experience puts him in
a position that he is proud of
working for these large watch and
iewelry concerns a man must be
capable of doing first-class work in
order to hold his position.
His new location is handy. While
you are down town bring in your
watch and let him tell you what
the trouble is and also let him fix
1t. A watch that fails to keep the
time right is worse than no watch
at all.
Don't forget the location.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

The commanding officer of a GER
tain regiment was much troubled
about the persistent untidiness of one
of his men. Reprimand and punish
ment were unavailing. n
Then q brilliant idea struck the
colonel.
Why not march him up and down
the whole line of the regiment and
shame him into decency?
1t was done. The untidy warrior,
who hailed from the Emerald Isle.
was ordered to exhibit himself and
march up and down the entire regi-
ment, and the men were told to have
a good look at him.
After the ordeal was over the I'M
abashed son of Erin halted, saluted
the colonel and said, in the hearing
of the whole corps:
+'Dirtiest regiment L liver inspected,
sorr.''
The young couple were dawdling
over a late breakfast after an ultra
smart party.
There had been a railway collision
near a country town and a shrewd
lawyer had hurried to the scene of the
disaster. He noticed an old colored
man with a badly injured head, and
hurried up to him where he lay moan
ing on the ground.
How about damages?" began the
lawyer,
"G'way, boss, g'way," he said. 81
never hit de train. 1 never done SIGH
thing in all nah life, so help me
Gawdi Yo' can't git no damages out
en- me-"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

moderate tonight and Sunday. The
storm, which was central yesterday
over North Carolina, moved northeast
ward rapidly, increasing greatly in in
tensity and its center today was off
the New England coast Gales were
reported all along the coast as far
south as Jacksonville. During the
night the wind attained a velocity of
Sc miles an hour off Cape Hatteras
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
ARMED, He RUNS AMUCk
Believed Insane Kills One Shooting at
AL Who Pass House.

Philadelphia, March 4.-Anthonio
Prongo, believed to be insane, today
stood in the doorway of his home in
the southern section of the city and
with a repeating rifle killed one man
and wounded two men and two wom-
en- before he was overpowered.
Without any warning he shot at
everyone who came within range. One
of his victims was a blind peddler.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
COLD ON EAST. COAST
Storm Reaches New England; Low
Temperatures in Florida.

Washington, March LOW tenn
peratures prevailed along the Atlantic
coast as far south as Florida today
The weather bureau forecast prom
Used. however. that the weather would
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
DINNER STORIES

Two exceedingly homely men were
arguing about which was the uglier,
when they met a Chinaman. They
agreed to let him be the judge be-
tween them. They laid their case be-
fore the Chinaman in simple English,
then thew DOsed and waited
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

Commander Montfort is one of the
most interesting speakers and person
alitles in the G.. A. r. He is one of
the prominent citizens of Cincinnati
and was for a long time the postmas-
ter there. He is rather a dark horse
nationally in the G. A. R., for while
he has always been faithful member
he has never been a candidate for any
national preferment until the last
election. His personality is such, how
ever, that he was unanimously elected
to the eommandership at the national
encampment of the G. A. r. last sum-
mer.
His visit to Topeka tonight marks
one of the biggest events in local G.
A. X. history. The meeting tonight
is open to the public
In the parade will be the band. the
1fe and drum corps, the Sons of Vet
Grams escorting Commander Monfort
and party, the G. A. R. camps, Lincoln
Post. Blue Post $50, Topeka Post II.
Fort Pilloi5 Post 321, the w. r. c.
Blue corps No. and Topeka corps
No. "a of the w. R. c., Lincoln Cir
Gle, Ladies of the G. A R.. and the
Auxiliary to the Sons of Veterans.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

Harry, five years old, was sent by
his mother to bring her shoes. There
were two pairs of shoes there. Harry
took the first two he got hold of.
which happened to be one lace and
one button shoe. and brought them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

Two suburban gardeners were
swearing vengeance on cats.
ut appears to me-" one said, that
they seem to pick out your choicest
plants to scratch out of the ground
There's a big yellow tomcat," the
other said, that fetches my plants out
and then sits and actually defies me-"
why don't you hurl a brick at
him ?" asked the first speaker.
That's what makes me mad" was
the reply. Il can't. He gets on top
of my greenhod use to defy me-"
MY dear" said Mr.. Hemmandhaw,
81 hope you are not planning to buy
a lot of new furniture
II am not" replied Mrs. Hemmand-
haw, land I don't know what gives
you the idea"
This shopping list gives me the
idea"
What shopping list?'
''On this paper which I just picked
up off the floor is written wash
stand, parlor chairs, dining room table,
writing desk, refrigerator, tabouret
piano stool, pedestal, step-ladder,
cedar chest, music cabinet and gar
b&ge CAM
"Oh. that is just a record I was
keeping of the things the baby has
fallen from this week."-Judge
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

She-Why do you refuse Ethers
hand to Mr.. Nocoyne? Don't you
want your daughter married off?
He-Yes; what I am trying to avoid
is having a son-in-law married on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

when it came to drawing up the part
nership papers neither of them would
stand for being called the senior part
ner.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

Few of us realize the danger of Coughs
and Colds We consider them common
and harmless ailments. However Stats
ties tell us every third person dies of a
lung ailment Dangerous Bronchial and
Lung diseases follow a neglected cold.
As your body struggles against cold
germs, no better aid can be had than DR..
Kings New Discovery. Its merit has
been tested by old and young. In use over
45 years Get a bottle today Avoid the
risk of serious Lung ailments Druggists.
Advertisement.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

was it you I kissed in the con-
servatory last night ~ inquired hubby.
She looked at him reminiscently.
about what time was it ?'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

Her eyes were not exactly straight
and some one commented upon it and
asked Long if he had noticed it.
Noticed it, mani he replied.
why, she is so cross-eyed that re-
Gently when 1 sat next to her at din
ner she ate off my plate.
Good cooks ask such high wages
now that few people can afford to
keep one
Il have one of the best in town. and
L don't pay her any wages. either. nor
give her a single day off"
How do you manage it?"
81 married her"
She-Do you remember that you
once proposed to me and that 1 re-
fused you?
He-yes; that is one of life's most
beautiful memories.
A well-known actor. who has made
his name as a comedian, has always
been anxious to play the part of Ham
let. So finally he collected a COM
pany, and went on tour.
At the end of two weeks he was
back in London, looking very de-
iected.
Halo, old chap" asked a friend
who met him. Whats wrong? You
look awfully hipped. Didn't they like
your Hamlet? %
'-They didn't seem to-" replied the
comedian shortly.
Fancy that" commented the 9TH
err with a grin Didn't they give you
any couragement-ca1 you before
the curtain. and that sort of thing ''
Call me before the curtain," said
the actor furiously. Man, they dared
me to comet
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

The Chinaman took a long time to
come to a decision. He considered the
two men from every angle. Finally
he gave his verdict in calm tones:
Both are worse he said.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04
50 : 7
Humphreys Seventy-seven
For Colds, Influenza.
& ZIP

1t takes very slzilIful physician TO
tell the difference between the Grip
and a bad Cold, SO don't bother your
head about the name, if your bones
ache, with pains and soreness in the
head, chest and back, cough. sore
throat and influenza. or any of these.
take s'Seyenty-seyen.n
To get the best results, take six
pellets at the first sneeze or SILVER.
II you wait till your bones ache, it
may take longer.
Humphreys Homeo Medicine Co. 156
William Street. New York.-Adyertisement
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

After a little dinner party, when all
the guests were gathered in the draw
ing room, it was suggested that every
lady should state the gift she most
coveted With prompt acquiescence
each announced her choice. Mrs
Cowlton wished for the most exquisite
Jewels extant. Mrs. Keenson desired to
be the best dressed woman in society,"
Mrs. Houlton preferred to own the
handsomest turnouts. while Mrs. Risby
craved popularity.
Suddenly a tactless man exclaimed:
"Heavensi don't any of you care for
beauty"
"Bah!" exclaimed the commuter in
disgust, throwing down the magazine
he had been reading. There's no
such thing as good fiction nowadays
'Oh, yes, there is,'' said the man
across the aisle, ST you only know
where to look for it. Just cast your
eye over this oil well prospectus
ST understand Mrs Brown and Mrs
Smith are going in partnership in the
millinery business"
They were going to. but they've
given up the idea"
whats the trouble? Couldn't
they raise the necessary capital ?'
"Oh, they raised that all right, but
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-03-04

Good cooks ask such high wages
now that few people can afford to
Dresden enterprise and Sharon tribune. (Dresden, Tenn.) 1907-1997, 1916-07-07

Buy the new things from Al
Gardner,
Born, to Albert Insco and wife,
Monday, a bouncing big boy
For these hot days buy a sport
shirt, 45e to $500 at All Gardner's'
Mrs. Rebeeca Smith is visiting
her sister, Mrs. Hughes, OF Dick
son, Tenn.
Nominate yourself or friend IN
the contest and win car or SOU
in gold. Al Gardner
Rev. J. A. Freeman will ill
the pulpit next Sunday morning
at Il a. m. at Mt. Harmon.
Looking fora wash dress? You
will find the new goods IN wolfe
organdys. II it is new,aWe nave
it.-Al Gardner.
Rev. H. B. Terry, pastor, will
preach next Sunday at IL a. M
and 7:3O p. m. at McClain's
Chapel, and protract the meeting
through the week.
You have no trouble selling
trade tickets in the automobile OF
$500 gold contest that al Gardner
is putting on, for he sells dry
goods and groceries for less than
anyone else.
Mr.. ]. M. Chiffon, farmer
residing near Sharon, and Miss
Ivie Purtle' we're united in mar
riage at Sharon on last Sunday
afternoon, Elder Will Etherldge
Dresden, officiating.
Dresden enterprise and Sharon tribune. (Dresden, Tenn.) 1907-1997, 1916-07-07

Come and see the new voiles,
they are the last word in style.-
AL Gardner.
Virgil Pinkston and Casey
Eskridge left Thursday night for
Lansing, Mich, where they expect
to procure employment in one OF
the automobile factories,
Prof. Heber Finch, the new
principal of the Dresden public
school, has rented the j. W.
Thomas place, which is being
newly painted and papered, and
Mr.. Finch will move in during the
next two weeks.
The children's exercises carried
out last Sunday afternoon at
Travis Chapel was success, as
usual. A splendid program was
rendered, and the young people
showed skilled training under the
supervision of Mrs, W. H.
Brummitt. A very large crowd
attended.
Sharon people are intensely
interested in the Davis highway,
which it is proposed to run through
Martin, Sharon and Greenfield.
A delegation Of progressive citizens
from Sharon were out Wednesday
inspecting the route north and
south of town and will accept the
best route and the one on which
there is the most cooperation on
the part OF landowners and citi-
zens.
The Weakley county school
board, through its attorneys, L..
E. Holiday and w, H. Patterson
& Co., Of Atlanta, Ga, succeeded
in borrowing this week from the
Metals and Mechanics Bank OF
New York the sum Of $4,000 at
five and one-half per cent. This
money is to be used in taking up
outstanding warrants and putting
the schools Of the county on a
firm financial basis, The money
heretofore borrowed by the board
cost eight per cent. and on short
time, The board is to be con-
graduated upon saving the county
this item Of interest, which
amounts to more than ST. 900.
Lawns! Lawnsl AT the same
old price-5c to 12lc per yard. -
All Gardner.