South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-02-08
STATESMEN GREAT AND
AND NEAR-GREAT
BY Fred Kelly

one OF the Michigan congressman
took a constituent mp To the state
department for the purpose of OBJ
tanning for him a brief interview
with Sec'y Lansing. The constituent
was breezy person. easy 10 get ac-
quainted with. Seeking to put Ian
sing right at his ease. he observed.
jauntily:
Mr.. Lansing. YOU ought to have
warm spot in your heart for me"
Naturally, Lansing inquired why.
"Oh. because I'm from Michigan.
replied the visitors. with a merry
twinkle in his eve.
Still Lansing didn't quite see the
connection. So the visitors ex-
planned:
Why don't YOU remember the
name of the capital of Michigan?
The name is Lansing. Ia, ha, ha!'
And merrily he slapped himself
on the thigh.
AS a rule, the man who becomes
member Of congress first gets his
name up while occupying some 9TH
er office Maybe he is prosecuting
attorney a judge or a state senator.
and makes good. The people think
he should be promoted. The rule
applies TO ?. Davis Oakley of Hart
ford. Conn. Oakley made a reputa-
ton for himself as president Of the
American Association Of Baldheaded
Men. The organization, while ma
tional i'm its scope. usually held its
annual meetings IN Connecticut, and
Oakley made speeches at these gath
erings which could not fail TO inn
press one and all with his mastery
of the spoken word. People began
to seize upon the idea that any man
who could talk so plausibly at an
annual banquet Of baldheads. could
soon make himself felt in the halls
of congress.
In addition TO heading the bald
heads of America, Oakley has served
as alderman in Hartford and as a
member of the school board. He is
an able chap. but it is at the ban
quet table that he speaks most free
ly. Call on Oakley unexpectedly TO
make few after-dinner remarks on
almost any subject whatsoever. and
he will do so not only acceptably,
but with the utmost alacrity.
one feature Of Oakey's speeches
which have helped to popularize
them and him ineConnecticUt is their
brevity As much as he dotes on
rising TO his feet 20 utter a few we'll
chosen remarks, he usually limits
himself to about 10 minutes. He al
ways stops talking at the identical
moment when he has ceased to have
anything further TO say. A great
many otherwise excellent takers
could profit by copying that feature
of Oakeys speaking code-but they
won't.
In addition to not having as many
opportunities for making after dinner
speeches as he would like. Oakey's
life has been married somewhat by
the fact that he is always being
thrown where he is obliged TO listen
to music-and he was born without
the slightest sense of tonal harmony
Music may soothe the savage, but
Oakley is no savage, and il merely
annoys and distracts him. What is
music to anybody else is TO Oakley
only a systematic distribution Of
needless noise. He dislikes 1t all,
from lullaby TO oratoria, and from
ragtime 10 dirge. For great many
years he has been trying to find a
first class hotel where he can sit
with friends and quietly discuss
merry subjects unheckled by the
blare of an orchestra-but he has
searched i'm vain. With the inven- |
ton of the victrola and its canned /
Oakley almost took to
drink.
A few years ago Oakley married 4
into a family every one Of whom is I.
So that even in the /
privacy Of his own home he knows /
not tranquility. He has abandoned /
all hope of peace on earth. and |
looks forward with much misgivings (
To playing a harp and listening to an /
angel chorus in the world to come f.