Rocky Ford enterprise., 1916-10-20
FlNNEGAN's PHILOSOPHY
Purging the Heart.

snIites the Civil Service Rock and re-
freslin' jobs gushes foOrth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on horn an ivrythin' falls for ut.
If the people call him liver so soft,
Little Samuel had no quicker ear. An
for sacryticin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocricy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
.'Tis his Presbyterian bringin' up.
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts n policy;
thin he thries to justify II, thin he
sanctifies it wild n phrase, while Il choir
iv Dishurvin Dimmycrats sings
hymn. An there ye are. Justification,
Adoption an Sankty-ficashun
1.-THE choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Bill
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
iv the life iv the great ldaylist.
Harvey went back to editin' an Bill
Brine wint in search iv the Howly
Kale. McCombs was canned. because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff rngtime. But Wudthrow die
grated thin all. Wild f'what say ye?
Wild. the Order iv the Double Cross.
Ohio. / mind well the time ut the
Manhattan Club, whn he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what Wudthrow
calls the vital stuffs iv life Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redfield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow is fond iv music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith nv he danced II Clog on
II Washbiler ye'd niver hear Il sound.
.Well. wan night in August the
Colonel come tiptoein' in through the
basement dure.
".How's the game, ColonelE says
Wudthrow. 'SO-so,' the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up a few more votes
says he. scratchin' his ear wild an
absent air.
"'Aint | got the full dinner-paifsT
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and
half says House pleasantly. 'Aint
KEEP en- out ~ war?' axes Wudthrow.
Part o. tn time says House rubbin'
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. 'Aint my VOICE our
greatest liquid assetT axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice says House.
but n lot iv suckers can't tell Il asset
firm an Ii'bility, the Colonel says
"'Fwhat are ye drivin' at says
Wilson, four flushing little.
"'Arre ye watchin' the striker says
House. Half II millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
"Well. Sir, he left Wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. Il hear he says. in low
sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is to me as the vice of n Car
negie Penshun.' Oh lie says thrill
lin In ivry nerve. must indade sacry-
flee wan more IDOL says he, .0n the
altar iv me Counthryr says Wud-
throw.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says;
an the Tariff for Rev'noo,' he says;
AN all me friends. beside says he,
sixteen per'fly good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enoughT he axes
in agony. But will purge me Heart
iv ivry pers'nal fought, says he,
stnrtin' for bed. An before he re-
tires. he takes Heart Purge iv his
own invinshun the way it IL wurk
while lie sleeps. l dinnaw f'what the
purge is: 'Tis secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted a gr-reat sacrytise of pur-
rinciple. dear to his heart. but he'd
used most iv thin already. an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged sacryfises. So
he sends for House. Colonel says
he, 'F'what pur-rinciple dyr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincyT he axes
anxiously.
Whisper says the Colonel. And
he said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear
and faded silently away through the
| dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stud
spellbouhd. Thin he burst into II
whoop; THE Ram in the Bushes
cries he wild tears " j'y.
Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryfise was solemny-ised
mt the Capitol.
"The precision started fom the
White House wild the Prisidint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
an box iv Safety-First matches in
tn other. He was followed by coon
benrin' four gold pans, and behind
came four Union Chiefs ridin' on milk
| white stenlS followed be Il gromn iN