Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-12-03
IT'S A HARD WORLD
SAYS THE PESSIMIST
In a Single Day He Finds That
Everything He Uses Has
Risen in Price.
BV =. S. MISTY.

BY p. S. IMIST.
| came down town this morning on
car that gave only half service
there was no conductor.
| lit q cigaret and found that half OF
II was made Cf alfalfa.
| met a friend and he asked me
what paid for that suit of Clothes"
and when | told him $50, he said
Mine is exactly like II, and the same
tailor made mine for SIS.
! went into shoe repair shop. had
my heels built up, and after walking
half day discovered that the mate
rial tie cobbler used was pressed pa
per instead of leather.
! bought a Sunday paper and found
the magazine section and the fun
MICS" cut in half.
Wife Has Troubles.
l went home to my lunch, and my
wife informed me she had paid so
cents for a dozen eggs and half of
them were bad. She mad bought
pound of butter for 80 cents. She or
dered round steak at 40 cents a pound
and the butcher sent her pork chops,
three inches behind the ear She had
paid 10 cents for a loaf of bread that
was soggy. She paid cents extra for
n can of coffee. and % cents for bot
tie Of water and told me the milk
man has raised the price of milk,
WI ich no longer had cream on It. |
sent my new suit to the cleaners
thief stole II, and the management
told me he would see me in Hades
before he would pay a cent, as the
law did not hold him responsible. My
laundry came back VITA handker-
chief missing, a collar sCorched and
the shirt still dirty. My wifn picked
out an IS pair Of shoes day before
yesterday. and when she went to get
them today. she was charged s11.
Good thing she bought them when
you did" sad the clerk, they Will be
$l5 tomorrow"
Nuts Are Scarce.
STEPPED over to my favorite pc
can vendor, laid down buffalo nick
cl, picked up a sack half the size of
last year. Dime" said the indepCn-
dent nut merchant, and | paid it, and
found the shells only half cracked,
and half Of the goodies bitter. When
| got home IN the evening ! found
tax notice just double what it was last
year. and my personal effects dimin-
iShod by half. where's the maid" |
asked as the good wife brought in the
dinner. Gone; she wanted S12 Il
week and two days off" "Thcre's
some mail for you" said my spouse,
and 1t was a notice from the landlord
that he had raised the rent on my
fiyc-room flat to SIS month, and I
must pay for my own repa;rs and
plumbing. There was-another notice
that in the future my doctor would
charge SO and SO for calls instead of
50 and SO. BY this time | had head
ache and called up n drug store and
o, Gered some aspirin. They sent me
six for two bits.
Overhead Cost.
went uptown, dropped in to get
a shave and haircut, and was charged
20 cents for II shave and 40 cents for
haircut, while the barber told me
my hair needed singing, my head was
dirty and fun Of dandruff, and there
were blackhcads as large as his hand
in my face. He got sore when gave
him the right change, and the porter
refused 10 brush me off or hand mo
my hat because | hadn't ordered n
shine. and | heard the manicure girl
say something about q cheap skate
az ! went out the door.
went over to nickclodeon, and
paid 20 cents to see n picture that
didn't come.
went home. picked up the paper
to read, and found that turkeys were
solling at 40 cents pound, that tho
scarcity OF wheat would reduce the
size Of loaf OF bread. that quinine
was advancing In price, that round
steak would take another jump, that
liver the butcher used to give mo II
| carried It home, was % cents n
POUND and that prunes had gone up
from cents to 90 cents,
Blame II On tho
And l stood for all these things
because there is n popular slogan go
ing the rounds that 'it Is on account
% h.a ArAN 81 Al.
word war in II Is supposed to be ac-
cepted as final, Proof, Wilson'S elec-
tion.
stood for all these things as a mat