davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
HEARsAY EVIDENCE

From Local Color" by Irwin S. Cobb.
 George H. Doran Co.,, s1.S5 net).
 It is one of the inexplicable mys- man, however, well he handles the tools of that trade, can write convinc- ingly of things about which he per sonally does not know. man might aspire, let us say. to write a story with scenes laid in northern Africa. In hundred volumes about northern Africa, its soil, its climate, it's natives, its characteristics. He might fairly sat urate himself in literature pertaining to northern Africa; then sit him down and white his story. Concede him to the story was well done; his phrasing graphic, his technique correct--never- theless, it would lack that quality theyI call plausibility Somehow the reader| would sense that this man had neverI seen northern Africa with his own eyes| or breathed it's air with his own nos. trils
 To this rule there are two excep- tions. A writer may write of things that happened in a past generationl after the last man of that generation is dead-therefore historical novelistsI are common: or. provided his imagina-i ton be sufficiently plastic, he may write of things that are supposed td happen in the future--he may even de | scribe the inhabitants of the planet Mars and their scheme of existencel None will gainsay him, seeing that nd contemporary of his has been to Mars or knows more of the conditions tha will prevail year or a century hence than he knows.
 But where he deals with the actual ,, ities of his own day and time he mus ' know those actualities at first hand else his best efforts fall to the ground and are of no avail. Hearsay evidenc9 always was poor evidence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
AN UNKNOWN PElPYS

worthy man, And Julius Caesar, that the empire first
 began; And now as earth within earth they lie
 pale and wan. Arthur was but earth for all his re-
 nown, No more was King Charles nor Godfrey
 of Boulogne, But hoe earth hath turned their noble
 ness upside down, And thus earth goeth to earth by short
 conclusion. Under the head of 'Divers Good Proverbs" MT. I1illes puts these down and they probably were not new even then:
 When ye proffer the pigge open the poke
 It ys stoyll mouse that slepyth in the catty's ear.
 A byrde yn honds ys better than three yn the wode. And hevyn fell we shall have many farkys.
 When the stede ys stolen shut the stabyIl dore.
 Merry hondys lyght werlke. A gode beynnyn mafyth & gode end yng.
 Which Is perhaps q "gode endyng'' to the commonplace book of Richard Hilies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
LUKE sI'LUKE SAYS

If a girls feet are not as large as those of a man, you can't convince her that she hasn't a perfect figure. {.
 The average husband expects his wife to save more out of her allowance than he gives her.
 Many man who has 8 safety first" motto on his machine drives as though he thought the motto read catch me first"
 We can't see why the suffs insist on being mans equal. Mere man is con- tent to stand pat and regard woman as his superior.
 A woman may forgive her husband for doing some ornery trick. But she never forgets that she has forgiven him.
 If we had to pay a dollar bottle for fresh air we would all be buying all we could of it and bragging about what a fine tonic it is.
 After a man has consumed about eight ! cigars in row, he goes to bed feeling that it would be easy matter to give up smoking. But the feeling is different the next day.
 It is none of our business. But after observation it seems to us that a woman who wears a stocking that would hold an ordinary pillow shouldn't wear knee length skirts just because that length is i; lIS oty iC.
 Mother knows where the children got theil good traits. But she is always won- dering where on earth they got their selfishness. And she will look at father and say; T know they didn't get it from mySside of the family"
 You could buy the wedding present at the 1O-cent store ani the groom wouldn't know the difference. But you can't fool the bride.
 Another sure thing is that if the girls dc not lower their skirts when the freez- ing weather hits us. a lot of them will be suffering from chilblains on the patella.
 A married man with a family seldom gets much attention in his own home until he is too sick to appreciate it. And this goes double for the married woman with family.
 What has become of the old-fashioned boy whose hands were covered with warts from handling toads? The average woman imagnes that her husbands boss doesn't appreciate her husband and doesn't realize how much her husband accomplishes
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
PICKING FLAWS IN CLEO

From the Pittsburg Post.
 If the nose of Cleopatra had been shorter,' said Pascal, "the whole face of the earth would have been changed"
 That French writer pushed a large sized literary posy at Cleo's perfect nose, but that happened 300 years before the returns which are just coming from the coin collectors canvass in Baltimore.
 The American Numismatic association took a long, concentrated look at pieces of Egyptian money. These bore the pie ture of the reputed beauty of the Nile, and as she O. K.'d the cut it Is accepted as her authorized image. The verdict of the coin collectors is that Cleopatra never batted 100 in the beauty game.
 They say she had big ears, beady eyes and bony shoulders. Moreover, the testi- mony of the coin is that she was flat chested.
 However, the attempt to revise the beauteous reputation of Mark Antonys affinity comes about 2000 years after her friends walked slow behind her, and doubtless it makes no never mind to her.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
SCENE OF ITALIAN OFFENSIVE

been a barren waste of grey rock. Tn have been covered with magnificent forests but the Romans ruthlessly de- stroyed these trees to secure timber for their galleys. In recent years the Aus trian government has gone sysatemati- cally about the task of making this the traveller frequently finds groves of young lareh and pine which have been planted in pursuance of this plan.
 Among the most striking features of the Karst plateau are its numerous caves and grottoes, formed by subterranean Grotto of Adelsberg, 60 miles by rail northeast of Trieste. Before the war it was much frequented by tourists, on whom the $500 inhabitants of Adelsberg thrived The grotto is lighted by cleo tricity and there are safe paths through the ballroom the Ferdinan Grotto.' the brilliant, the 'belvedere' and other com partments, some of which are 150 feet in length and others aS much as 165 feet high Through the 'cathedral,' room 150 feet long and nearly 100 feet high, there flows the River Polk or Pivka, which becomes a subterranean stream in the vicinity of the Grotto.
 Many of the pools and streams in the caverns of the Karst contain a cu- rious kind of fish which constitutes an important article of food for the peas ants of the region, while above ground the stony wastes are infested with pol sonous reptiles"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
THE DRUG HABIT IN THE EAST
From the Times of London.

From the Times or London
 The traffic in alcohol, opium and CO., caine in India. Ceylon and China has more than a sentimental importance. The trade with India amounts to nearly one third of the trade of the United King dom. and the supremacy of the empire depends upon the preservation of that trade from the competition of other Eu- ropean nations. The traffic in intoxicants and narcotics was sappfng the efficiency of the nation. and government control cannot by itself keep sober nation that wishes to be drunk. The Indian gov- ernment sacrificed a revenue of s4,000 900 when it put an end to the export of opium; and as it brings the traffic ir alcohol under control the consumption of opium and cocaine increases. while in China as the importation of ipium is reduced the sale of intoxicants increases.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
HUMoRIsTs' PICTURES

From the Pittsburg Post. Those who know their rhetoric inti- mately are not left dangling over the ropes when Pittsburg High school stu dents talk offhand about pictorial lan- guage. When they mention metonymy and synecdoche. it brings back that old college friend, the trope, naming part of the whole works "Scepter" for dominion. "The ermine" for the bench of judges. "A roof" for house. Marble" for a statue. Likewise other pictures of speech form the breakfast food for us literary The metaphor: "It was written at a white heat'
 The personifcation: Earth felt the wound"
 The apostrophe:s 70 Rome. thou hast
 been tender nurse" The allusion: Daily. we Sinais climb
 and know it not" The antithesis: Better first in will lage than last in Rome" But that favorite figure of speech
 the simile, is the right bower for kG-
 morists Frank Wilstach, theatrical
 press agent known to Pittsburgers, has
 shove1ed together 15.o00 similes in a
 book. Some samples By Irving S. Cobb. Casually, like John Drew counting
 up the house.
 Teeth chattering like Morse sounder. His face looked like a face that had
 refused to jell and was about to run
 down on his clothes.
 Nature meant that Q fat man should
 have an appetite and that he should
 gratify it at regular intervals-meant
 that he should feel like the Grand Can yon before dinner and the Royal Gorge afterward Make noises like drunken Zulu try ing to sing a Swedish folk song. As nude as a raw oyster.
 No more privacy than goldfish. Looked at it and sniffed at it's daintily like a reluctant patient going under ether.
 Left taste in his mouth like tim type factory. Dressed in white-all white, like a bride or a bandaged thumb. By George Ade Dry as a London newspaper, Exciting as a Quaker meeting. Funny as wooden leg. Held on like a summer cold. Walked like he had gravel in his shoes By o. Henry. As full of apathy as a territorial delegate during the chaplain's prayer As good a chance to win as man learning poker on an ocean steamship Served as fast as you throw the five baseballs at the colored gentlemans head. Grand as floorwalkers. He looked like composite picture of 5000 orphans too late to catch picnic steamboat.
 His pocket looked like pool tables after a 15-ball run. Love should be as private senti- 1 ment as a toothbrush He shuddered like some woman's s oyerfat pug when a street dog bistles up to him. , A good story is like a bitter pill with the sugar coating inside of 1t. Thick as two body -snatchers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
''MarGyr's Ashes
 Are Distributed

A BOUT one year ago Joe Hill, or EA ganizer of the Industrial Workers of the World, was shot in ,tuah for murder, after having been found guilty on what is claimed to have been "the flimsiest circumstan- tial evidence" Every effort was made to save the mans life, but nothing was brought out to show that he had been uniustly convicted and he went to his death martyr
 Yesterday in Chicago the ashes of this criminal, in 500 parchment pack ages, were distributed among the I. w. w. delegates attending their tenth annual convention. The packages will be carried to all parts of the world and are expected to inspire fresh zeal for the organization.
 Hills last words, says William D.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
1.-THE VAMPIRE.

By Rudyard Kipling. A fool there was and he made hi
 prayer Gwen as you and ID To a rag and a bone and hank Q
 hair; eve call her the woman who al
 not care) But the fool he called her his lady fai Gwen as you and ID Oh, the years We waste, and the tear
 we waste And the works of our head an
 hand, Belong to the woman who did nel
 know (And now we know that she neves
 could know) And did not understand. A fool there was and his goods
 spent
 Gwen as you and ID Honor and faith and a sure intent (And if wasn't the least what the lac K meant) But a fool must follow his natura
 bent,
 Gwen as you and ID Oh, the toll we lost and the spoil 
 lost.
 And the excellent things we planne- Belong to the woman who didnt Knoe
 why (And now we know that She nv
 knew why)
 And did not understand. The fool was stripped to his fooii
 hide
 fEven as you and ID Which she might have seen when sE threw him aside Gut it isn't on record the lady trieS' So some of him lived, but the most F
 him died, N (Even as you and ID And it isn't the shame and 1t isB the blame That stings like q white-hot branq Its coming to know that she neV knew why (seeing at last she could never knS why)
 And never could understand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
Investigation Beneficial

The formal investigation of the car shortage at Louisville by the interstate commerce commission is bound to bring results" said James L. Davidson, secre- tary of the Alabama Coal Operators association. Commissioner McChord has been busy hearing testimony from the various railroads and is attempting to find some means of immediate relief
 The embargoes that the railroads placed on their cars has resulted in slightly better service for the operators in the Birmingham district, although the number of cars has not been increased appreciably.
 At the mines on Monday and Tuesday there is generally a sufficiently large number of cars to keep the mines oper- ating at full capacity, but this situation does not hold up during the week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20

M1{ 7 ASHINGToN, D. C., November MW 1s.-(special.)-Th Carso or
 Karst plateau as it is more fa- miliarly known, the scene of the newly inaugurated Italian offensive against the Austrians, is the subject of the fol- lowing war geography bulletin issued from the Washington headquarters of the National Geographic society:
 50 distinctive in appearance is that Austrian limestone plateau known as the Karst Qtalian form, Carso) that the term 'Karst landscape is now frequently em- ployed to define similar regions barren of vegetation, 'pock-marked' with lime sinks and grottes, and scanned with sub terranean streams which now and then appear suddenly above the ground, then disappear again.
 The Karst plateau rises some dis- tance to the south of the city of Gorizia, on the Isonzo. one of the most impor- tant Austrian strongholds captured by the Italians since they entered the war. The elevation extends to the southeast, varying in width from Go to 90 nAes. It forms 8 boundary between the Aus trian duchy of Carniola. to the north east and the Istrian peninsula which buts into the Adriatic below Trieste.
 The Wippach or Vippach river, which flows along the northern base of the plateau, Is one of the tributaries of the Isonzo. The Italians were forced to fight their way across the valley Of this stream, in order to gain the Karst heights from which to continue the drive against Trieste.
 'The Karst plateau has not always
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
ALABAMA PRESS

Ozark Southern Star: We wonder il Col. George Harvey has revised his fig ures yet.
 Roanoke Leader: We are glad New York and New England have found out that they are hot running this govern ment.
 Anniston Star: A publication devoted to the exploitation of Chinese trade says: "The Chinese people are patient, industrious, frugal. kind-hearted, and loyal in their friendships. Between themselves they are sympathetic, gener- ous and affectionate" But all the same they have an uncomfortable way of cut ting off politicians heads, tearing shirts and fraying collars.
 Opelika News: Those who opposed the educational amendment in the recent election were just about as badly sur prised at the result in the state on that issue as the republicans were at the vote west of the Mississippi river.
 Selma Times: Selma feels peculiarly grateful to the grand old county of Jeff ferson for the 1000 votes 1t gave in behalf of her amendment. Jefferson helped to ki ock out vast horde of yokels who voted against the amendment out of pure, unalloyed ignorance.
 Florence Times: Hon. Oscar Underwood for the presidency in 1920! That will be Alabama's slogan. This simple sentence needs no elaboration. It speaks volumes for itself.
 Talladega Home: She has got the speaker of the House going to address her when she gets on the floor?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20

rate, to be up and doing; and the entire south should join with Alabama in the effort to bring the nitrate plant to Muscle Shoals. The dinner arranged for tonight under the auspices of the Birmingham Board of Trade to boost Muscle Shoals should be 6 big af- fair. Representatives will be on hand from various Alabama and Tennessee cities. Let's make the occasion epochal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20

Haywood, general organizer, were Don't waste any time mourning organize" This command is being obeyed. In this all too complacent country of ours, this turbulent organ ization will continue to flourish, but now and then justice will add name to its bloody "roll of honor" i % It isn't necessary to glance at the credit line to tell whether or not news paper article about the war is copied from an English publication. If the i Germans are referred to as Huns" the proof of British origin is conclusive. It's all very well for the governor of a state to wear silk hat out to foot ball game, but that sort of headgear would never do for the people who throw their hats into the air on the slightest provocation. 
 [ Henry Ford and Thomas A. Edison must be terribly distressed by some of the war pictures. For instance, when famous generals are photographed at the front they are nearly always smoking cigarettes.
 The nuhIic has hO1t Y11ade m its mfrs to accept "aviatrice" as the feminine ot aviator" but calling woman street 1 car conductor "conductress'' still sticks in the craws of the purists. # * Brown university has negro halfback on it's football team who is husky enough to have descended direct from roust- about on a Mississippi steamboat. * H
 General Pershing's men like candy, it seems. However, "greasers" needn't jump to the conclusion that those young fellows are chocolate soldiers" |
 At his present rate of progress it will take Villa a long time to kill all the Americans in Mexico, but ~he seems to be doing the best he can.
 * * <
 The woman who takes both hands off the steering wheel of a speeding auto- mobile to straighten her hat is lowering On the brink of eternitv
 ]. * *
 Add to pathetic figures:" The man who doesn't understand football, but has made bet on the result and is trying to follow the game.
 The cave man, we are told, picked up the woman of his choice and carried her off. It's far cry from those glad, free days to the present era of equal rights
 The popularity of the sweet potato will never depend on it's symmetry The sweet potato does not travel on its shape"
 If things had gone differently Elihu Root would now be making plans to en- ter MT. Hughes cabinet as Secretary Of State.
 *
 The "Old Guard will hardly celebrate the fact that MT. Hughes finally car ried Minnesota.
 * <
 Secretary Redfield's whiskers will be missed from the cabinet, where facial foliage is already at premium.
 * * *
 The colonel will make another explo- ration trip. That looks as if he were getting ready for 1920.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
THE UKULELE

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
 A manufacturing boom has struck Hawaii It Is not in sugar, neither is it in war munitions for Europe The in- dustry which is just now undergoing vio- lent prosperity is that of manufacturing ukuleles
 The ukulele looks like guitar that never grew up. But it does not sound like guitar. or like any other known instrument. It is purely Hawaiian de- vice, and. for the present at least. most ukuleles are supposed to come from Ha-
 waii. If the vogue continues for any great length of time there will be many ukuleles made in Connecticut and Chicago and other up-to-date places on the Amer ican mainland.
 The characteristic music of Hawaii may be described as melodious groan. It is
 of extremely simple structure. and i. made characteristic chiefly by the instru is said that Hawaiian music is nothing
 more than an outgrowth of the hymns of the first missionaries. Before the mis- sionaries came the Sandwich islander. had no music of consequence. It would
 he indeed difficult to recognize a gospe i hymn in the hula hula of today. and tht Hawaiians must be given credit for grea
 resourcefulness in developing their musi, standard even if they cannot be praised for having invented it.
 /, Certainly the present popularity of thu ukulele and of the ukulele tunes is relic
 after long years of ragtime. If th' Hawaiian vogue lasts as long as the rag 1 time affliction has endured the ukulelt
 may take rang with the banjo as an i'm plement of torture, but just at present i seems highly desirable innovation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
EXPLAINING THAT MAIL

From the Augusta Chronicle.
 The citizen whose mail box Is crammed with advertising matter sent out by liquor dealers in neighboring states needn't squirm and try to look pious. Those fellows have his number.-Bir- mingha Age-TIerald. Not necessarily his number-jlst the number of his residence, without even his name. is ac- cepted by the postoffice department as being a sufficient address" for liquor circulars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
Good Roads m Asset

The public roads from seima to Bir- mingham are in fairly good condition said Judge T. Purifoy of Thurman, who motored to the city Saturday to witness the football game. "Of course, there were few bad stretches here and there, but in the main the highways are in good repair
 'The value of good roads as an asset to any county is more apparent every day, not only from the motorists point of view, but from the business and agricul- tural interests. AS means of getting their produce to the market quickly the farmers of the state have recognized the practicability of the motor truck for sometime, and, of course, to make the motor truck efficient, there must be good roads. I am glad to see the good roads movement growing and that interest in this important matter is statewide
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-20
Back from Texas

T am glad to return to Birming- ham after an absence of a little more than two weeks spent in Texas" re- marked pr. P. P. Goggans of this city.
 Tt had been som mething like 15 years since l was last in the Lone Star state; and things were naturally some what changed. Many of the cities have made rapid growth. I touched at Waco, Dallas and Fort Worth, and could not fail to note Improvement in many ways. I had a very pleasant trip and met number of old-time acquaintances.
 T stopped over for a day and half in New Orleans, and thoroughly en- Joyed almost every moment spent in the Crescent City. Texas cities are all right in their way, but New Orleans and Birmingham come nearer my ideal as metropolitan cities Birmingham cannot be beaten in the south in the matter of rapid growth. and its indus trial development, as everyone knows. is little short of phenomenal when compared with other cities. I returned to Birmingham with the feeling that am now better able to appreciate the numerous advantages enjoyed here"