Evening star., 1916-05-07

cathedral come crashing down because
| the organist reached vibrating note
which wreaked dissolution upon the
building material.
| At first Veedersburg thought it was
| funny. The people in the brick works
welcomed it because the owners were
| stingy and refused to waste steam
enough to blow whistles for the start.
dinner hour and quitting time. Joe's
| jackass brayed at o'clock and Z
| o'clock and o'clock. and all through
| the day and far into the night. He
| brayed regularly at midnight and al
ways beat the roosters to it in the
morning. A chicken farmer had to
move out of the county because all the
young cockerels grew discouraged and
| quit trying to crow, and most OF them
| lay down and died.
After bit the town tired of it. One
day a wedding was interrupted just as
| the minister had asked Who gives this
woman to this man." The proper per-
Joe's donkey began to bray. and Wee
| dersburg society had to take a recess
while the jackass brayed o'clock pm
Later ii was discovered that the groom
| owed Joe Glascock 81, and an endless
! feud started over the remark that Joe
! had set the donkey's clock ahead so as
| to break up the party.
There was only one real genius in the
town of Veedersburg. and his name is
! I.abert St Clair. Persons who attend =
| ed the Press Club minstrels recently
may remember Mr.. st. Clair IS the col
ored paperhanger. and VIII immedi !
ately recognize him as a genius n
| figured that banshment was the only
cure for the trouble. and he immedi-
ateIy circulated a petition to the two
| hundred dollar mayor ana MS councll'
As a result, the town council Issued an
edict of banishment upon Joe's jack
ass, and in order to prove that this
story is true from start to hnish i ap-
pend herewith a copy of the petition
written by Mr.. st. Clair himself:
I'VE, the undersigned citizens or the
CITY of Needersburs, beg to respectfully
call YOUR attention to the existence in
our city of what we deem a public
nuisance. said nuisance aooNe mem
TONED being in the form OF a 1ackasS.
maintained. fed and sheltered in the
stables known as the Joseph Glascock
harm on Railroad avenue between I'd
and Sd streets in said city OF Needers-
burg. Ind -
THAT the frequent and continuous
hraying of said jackasS has become
unbearable to our indulgent populace;
said braying consists OF LOUD, long.
harsh and consecutive noises. calcu-
lated TO shatter the nerves or even
those who are the most strongly con-
stituted when forced to continually
submit to such exasperating and inde-
cent sounds.
the MANY embarrassing positions OF
which our citizens have peen suoJect
to your attention is called to the 1act
that said public nuisance is harporeo
within few yards of one of the city's
nlaces of worship, and that religious
services are often broken into by the
above mentioned obnoxious noises:
That also the business district OF said
CITY is within the same block. and as
!. result of said nuisance. managers
and employees are daily thrown under
embarrassing influences. and In some
instances have been asked to explain
where and from what source the OBJ
noxious sounds were coming Ihe lat
ter question came, of course. from per
cons from large cities who were unfa-
miliar with the habits of this peace
disturbing animal All OF which mas
GIVEN your petitioners sufficient cause
10 ask that your honorable body de-
cIare said animal public nuisance.
and we hereby petition that you have
same removed from within the confines
Of said city.
For several years have been figur-
ing on one of the deepest and most
tackled it from all angles, but. like
we'll fortified position. it resists at
tacks from front. rear and Hanks.
have spoken to other men about II. and
thev agree with me that the problem
is tough one, but none mas Nentureu
to help me solve it.
The puzzle to which / refer has to
do with one of the habits of certain
characters seen on the stage.
Let US take a modern comedy drama.
Everything runs along smoothly for
two acts An interior scene is being
presented, and at this point in the play
il is generally o'clock at night in
somebody's library. All the men wear
dress clothes of the sort on which the
college cut hero of the magazine ads
is modelled, and because one member OF
the cast has iron gray hair showing
just above his ears, and hasn't smiled
up to date. theaudisnoe begins to sus-