The Washington herald., 1916-04-20

Not long ago, I spent three or four
hours in the home of a well-to-do fam
lily living in a small town where L had
gone to attend a meeting Of mothers
club. I went home with the mother Of
the family to stay for supper and wait
for the train that was TO take me back
to the city. and while I was there l
found much material for a talk to our
club on what I have called company
manners" We were sitting in the liV-
ing room after We had gone from the
meeting and as We Chatted l saw
woman enter the gate and come up the
walk. My hostess saw her about the
same time that 1 did.
Mercy me. children" she cried to the
boy of seven and the girl of five, who
had been racing about the room In
rather noisy fashion. here comes Mrs.
Helms. See how pretty you can behave
while she is here. 1 want her to think
you are nice, polite little children"
l must have looked my astOnishment,
for she began to explain to me that the
approaching visitor was the wealthiest
woman in the village and she wanted
her children to show her that they were
being we'll brought up. Fortunately for
me, 1 was saved the necessity OF reply
by the entrance Of the caller. After l
had been presented, my hostess brought
the children forward and prompted them
in honeyed tones to shake hands and to
curtsy to the pretty lady like little
lady and gentleman This was duly ac-
complished, and the children retired in
relief to the back Of the room where
they took possession of a big sofa and
kept up a byplay of nudging and sur
reptitiously pinching each other. The
mother was unable TO devote her whole
attention to her talk with US, for she
nh1 70 Frfrr md
shake her head at the children. trying
always to do so when she thought the
wealthy lady was engrossed in her talk
with me and would not observe the re-
proof Of the children. When, to the re-
lief OF US all, the caller finally took her
leave, the mother reprima nded the chill
dren sharply for their behavior. What
she said to them was:
Aren't you ashamed to behave so be-
fore people? Mrs. Helms is a rich lady
and We all have to put on our COM
pany manners before her. She will think
your mother never taught you how to
act when people are around!"
A little later, Just before supper time,
my hostess went into the pantry to
complete some preparations for our even
ing meal, and her little daughter fol-
lowed her out
Mother" I heard the child ask. why
| do we have to behave nicer before peo-
pie than when we are alone?"
why of course I want you to be-
have all the time" the mother impa-
tiently replied.
But you said we had to put on our
company manners before the rich lady"
the little girl persisted.
Keep quiet or I'll box your ears" the
| mother then exclaimed. "Sh-sh-sh," she
went on in a lower tone, evidently re-
membering that I was within earshot.
Mrs. Brush will hear you, and what
kind Of a child do you think she will
say you are?"
Always that reiteration Of What will
people think you are?' My heart was
filled with pity for children who had
no motive for good behavior held up to
them but the fear Of the impression
they might make upon others. Those
two poor infants are well-trained in the
mere outer forms OF politeness. The small
boy shook hands with. Mrs. Helms in
perfectly good form. The girl made
wholly acceptable curtsy. But neither
Of them had ever been given the first
idea that true politeness consists in un-
selfshness and thoughtfulness for others.
II was not suggested to them that their
squabbling on the sofa while we were
trying to talk was wrong because it was
an interruption to our conversation.
do not suppose that mother herself had
the remotest idea that mere forms are
not essential to true courtesy. She
could not be made to believe that a
gentleman may be a gentleman and still
be ignorant of all social conventions. Her
one thought was her fear that her rich
neighbor might think she was not a
lady!
And then the talk with the child in
the pantry! There she revealed the
whole secret of her failure to teach
her children to distinguish between true
politeness and company manners" She
herself was far from polite in her or