The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-07-07
C0uged By Contractors at the
Beginning French NoW Manage
The War on Business Principles
BIZ HERBERT COREY


of 40 zebus and 80 tons Of hobnails
When a story has moral Il
seems a good plan 10 get the mora
over early. This particular mora
is that the French are conducting
the war nowadays on as business
like a plan as any democracy could
hope for They are wasting moth
ing that can be saved ana they arr
spending their money wisely. II
was not SO at the beginning. In
those days confusion reigned
Things happened that would nj nice
ly In a summer opera In which the
tenor wears white pants. This Is
where the story of the 40 zebus be
gins.
your ship Is requisitioned." was
the ordered received by the skipper
OF a steamer at Marseilles. Hurry
10 the northern coast OF Africa"
What shall ! do when l get
there?" asked the skipper.
II the gentleman who gave the
order had replied in the full spirit
OF the expedition he would have ad
vised the skipper 10 close his eyes
turn his ship around three times
and see what he could catch. In
stead he replied In that mystic
formula beloved OF bureaucrats'
Sealed orders"
But on the north coast OF Africa
the skipper found no one who had
ever heard OF him or ever wanted
70 hear OF him Those he met lifted
hand against him. palm outward
and babe him cease from troubling
them about his footy little steamer
while the motherland was al war
so that after long period OF frantic
cabling the skipper was finally told
10 90 10 Madagascar. He went to
Madagascar. II Is no SLOUGH or
trim from the north coast OF Africa
| but no matter In 30 days ne
reached Madagascar and breezed
into some ones Office, all merry and
| bright.
Who wants me-" ne asked.
No one wanted him. No one hac
ever heard OF him. He hung arounc
Madagascar for a month or so, cal
ing each morning at the ONCE o
the French governor and niakins
himself unpleasant all day long un
I'll the governor resolved upof
harsh measures.
Il have a load OF zebus for you,
said he. Take them 10 the zoo a
Marseilles.'
Forty DAYS later the captain ap
peared at Marseilles with 40 zebus
Marseilles refused TO receive them
! He was not even allowed 10 unload
them. Until by and by he brough
the case of the 40 zebus before th'
s. r. G.. A., and managed 10 extor
an order 10 go somewhere els'
through that society's influence. Or
a dark night he warped up TO th'
| pier and surreptitiously turned a
| zebus loose on Marseilles and es
eaped under cover OF the fog. al
lights out. Marseilles rounded VI
the zebus and ultimately ate them
zebus being highly edible animals
But the captain has never been for
given.
A score OF other similar stories
| might be told TO illustrate the din
Guilty which country which had al
ways hoped for peace found in al
| iusting herself TO an unexpected
war. As was the case in England
many OF the important bureaus II
France were presided over by dea
old gentlemen. This Is not flint
at age. The big things in this wa
have been thought out by elderly
men. practically without exception
But when an old man permits hi
hair 10 grow fast 10 his brain he be
comes a mere impeachment TO pro
gress. Many OF these old men were
got rid OF before the wheels begar
TO move really fast here.
When Germany il mentioned. one
instinctively thinks OF efficiency
When Great Britain comes to Minis
one paints a mental picture of ex
asperating slowness. but which IL
nevertheless thorough. The average
American probably thinks Of France
as slipshod in method. II Is true
that France has been forced to i'm