davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1916-02-01
LITERARY FAME.

Speaking Of famous writer's,
what do you know about William
Dean Howells? OF course yon have
seen his name in print. And You
have also seen it stated that he is
Americas s greatest living novelist.
But if you can mention off-hand
a single book that he has written,
you can beat me. And I claim to
be tolerably we'll posted on books
and authors.
One of my hobbies is collecting
book catalogues and studying
them like school-books. All the
worthwhile authors are listed in
these catalogues, but William
Dean Howells is not there. His
books are either too good or too.
bad to be advertised with other
books, and hence if I wanted to
buy one of them [ wouldn't have
any idea where to find it..
Howells may be a famous writer.
but it s a mystery to me what he
is famous for. His books are Ger
tainly not known.
The fool-killer., 1916-02-01

them to divert attention from real
pressing worldly injustice to heav-
emily bliss? Turn your oratorical
brilliancy for a moment against
low wages, unemployment, mono
poly and special privilege. Before
you leave Philadelphia, will you
speak these truths? We, pray,
"Thy kingdom come on earth.
While exploitation and social in
justice remain, the Kingdom OF
Heaven never can come on earth,
and never will.
The fool-killer., 1916-02-01

ing become a subscriber for The Fool
Killer, l thus happened to see and
read your issue for December, 1915.
Now l have become very greatly in
terested in. that particular number,
so much so, in fact, that l ask you to
send me at once bundle of that is
sue, and | will take pains to get them
scattered out among the people and
will send lots of them away through
the mail, and will gladly pay the re-
Quired postage to mail them. The
Fool-Killer ! consider a most apprO-
pirate name for that paper, judging
by it's spicy contents, and which /
consider is very much needed to-day
to wake the people up to a realization
of the worlds deplorable and corrupt
ed condition greed and graft ram
pant everywhere in both the social
and governmental machinery. Yes,
the people need to be awakened to the,
fact that they themselves are fools.
Kill the fool by making him wise.
Learn him to use his own brains in
stead of having all his thinking done
by proxy.
]. r. LEE, Neville, Ala-A copy of
your paper fell into my hands, and I
think it the best ever read Enclos-
ed find fifty cents to pay for five subs.
J. J. DOPSON, Strong, Ark.-Hay!
Hay! Look this way! A few words,
to the blessed little Fool-Killer. You
can't hold good thing down. It's
just like true love-it keeps growing
and as they read it they become wise
to the facts of our rotten government.
Press on, boys. The bottom rail will
get on top yet. Stay by The Fool
Killer. She is small, but as full Of
truth as an egg is of meat. Here is a
list of ten new subs and a dollar to
pay for the
WIN. I. BENTLEY, Loganville, Ga.
IL have been a silent admirer Of
your spicy little paper for some time.
Have thought for a good while that I
would help circulate it. but have been
busy at work and taking subscriptions
for some other papers. But the last
issue was SO very fine that it has
worked me up. So here I come with
Two Dollars-one dollar for ten year.
ly subs and one dollar for 200 copies
OF the January number. It's a re-
cognized fact that there's got to be a
fool-killing, and I think it's best to
blow them up with some of your
literary dynamite.
B. F. PURCELL, Lew. Gal obtain
ed copy of The Fool-Killer from a
friend about year ago, read it want
ed more. So sent in a club, and since
then The Fool Killer has pread like
prairie fire on windy day. Your
paper is the ger eral topic of :onver-
sation here. l often hear people say
II have seen many goo1 parers, but
The Fool-Killer has got all their
} wheels checked" So continue to hit
'em heavy till they are cured. Enclos.
ed find 70 cents for subs.
The fool-killer., 1916-02-01
CORRESPONDENTS.

CORRESPONDENTS.
D. H. SHELL, 331 Jefferson St.,
Okolona, Miss.-A copy of your paper
accidentally fell into my hands, and
l began to read a few items from it to
a crowd of my friends who were so
delighted with your style that we at
once formed club of ten. Enclosed
is the list of names and money order
for one dollar to pay for them. Your
paper is "hot stuff.
MAI. L. r. SMITH, Box 58, Owens
vile, Mo.-Have just seen your paper
for the first time. Have learned more
from reading one copy of The Fool
Killer than all the editorials of shang-
| hi roosters with one feather in their
tails found in the great papers, of
our land. Enclosed find remittance
for one year.
]. A. AXSOM, Box 2, McMinnville.
OregOn-I am sending you ten cents
and ten names in accordance with
your advertisement which I saw in
Appeal to Reason. have often heard
that The Fool-Killer was dead. Now
if you have him resurrected. or have
new and better one,~ send him
along. We need him. I've always
thought the Old North State could
raise something better than copper
eyed peas, and crab-grass. I've dug
up many bunch down in Old Surry
County. No matter where you go, life
seems to be just one d. thing after
another.
A. w. WILSON, Vass, N. C-Enclos-
ed you will find one dollar for ten
eoses Of your stuff for one year. hope
1916 will prove year cf success with
you and The Fool-Killer. I will dc
the best I can for you at all times.
truly hope your wife is we'll again.
F. M. SMITH, Bascom, Fla.-Please
send your little paper to the enclosed
addresses for one year. A few days
ago | happened to get hold of copy
Of The Fool-killer, and fell ia love
with it and want the paper right on
So | decided to subscribe. Then
thought about getting up a club, so
got six besides my own. I will try tt
get larger club little later. We al
wish to get the January issue, an,
hope we are not too late.
J. S. EDWARDS, R. 3, Box As
Greenville, N. CT saw your pape
} called The Fool-Killer and was s,
enthuesd over it's contents I couldn'
help trying to get up a club of name
| for it, which you will find enclosed
r They all think it the very thing w
p all need. for we have an abundance O
fools down this way that need a 10
of yuor medicine, and wish 70,
s could dish it out with double strength
Y for the disease is of long standing an
;, deeply rooted. We all believe that w
can stand at least one of your hotties
applications I would like to have
few doses to distribute among som
more afflicted ones that are not O.
. this list, and think I can send 70
some more subs later. Hope you ma
: live long enough to purge us fools c
. all our impurity and keep on wit
: the good work. I herewith enclos
g you postoff1ce money order for So. II
h JOHN T. HALL, Vevay, Ind.-Er
closed end money order for 80 cent
for which send The Fool-Killer on
t year to the enclosed names. I didn
f try to get up club, but every ma
- l showed my paper to wanted me t
;, send his name ard dine for his SUI
u And because it is a good thing l al
o glad to help you push it along.
= r. F. JOHNSON. RE-, westo
g Oregon.-My SON, John Johnson, ha,
The fool-killer., 1916-02-01
A SERMON ON BILLY SUNDAY

The Fool-killer has never had
very much to say about Billy Sun
day and his circus. Might just
as we'll say few words right here.
Cali this a sermon if you want to.
Or call it anything else you dog
gon please. 1t contains my homes,
opinion about>a few things, and
if you don't like it, you can just
60 off and bite yourself.
I amt going to discuss Billy
Sundays theology. This is not
theological paper. If there is 60
ing to be a heaven up in the air
somewhere, and we can all man.
ag. to get to it, we ought to be
satisfied when we get there. But
hang-taked if it amt purity tuff
for poor people to have to starve
to death in order to get into that
heavenly home. Most of us would
be willing to wait awhile for the
wings if we could have decent
fare here.
But there's the rub. Billy Sun
day rides around on his high the
illogical boss and never touches
the ground anywhere. And it's
the ground that we poor folks
have to live on in this world.
Therefore Billy breaches clean
over our heads and never touch
es us. To begin with, Billy starts
out wrong eend foremost. He
tries to save souls after they are
lost. but he don't care cuss about
keeping them from getting lost.
He is like the doctor who wants
you to get sick so he can "curc"
you at so much per. Where Billy
saves one soul, a thousand are
damned by the awful conditions
that he absolutely refuses to open
his eyes to, or to preach about.
! Jesus Christ dealt with causes.
Billy Sunday pays no attention to
causes, but makes a dickens of a
fuss over effects. He considers it
more important to save the wreck
of a life than to save a life from
being wrecked.
It is a poor doctrine. At best
it is only a half-gospel. When a
man is~cold and hungry in body
he is in no humor to have his SOU
messed with. If Billy would
: preach against the industrial evils
Of this wicked world one half as
hard as he spiels about heavenly
: glory, he might not be 60 popular
5 but he would be shooting a hear
nearer the mark.
, Who pays Billy Sunday al
!, those thousands that he gets fo1
J, cutting his didocs? Not the poor
. and needy-gosh no! The none,
/ comes from the rich, and it goe'
}, out with string tied to it. Bill,
9 is the very boy they have bee,
e looking for to watt the public
d mind up into the skies while the,
S swipe everything on earth.
Now listen! I am going t,
d wind up this sermon with quota
f tion from a letter which Prof
e Scott Nearing writ to Billy Sun
a day about the time Billy wa
:, saving" Philadelphia at so muc]
|. per whoop:
n "Make no mistake: The chic
e priests. scribes and, Pharisees O
l. Philadelphia vii! never crucif
The fool-killer., 1916-02-01
GREAsE YOUR CUTS!

that YOU were not able to buy |
enough meat at the present price
to keep your family's insides prop
erly creased. And the human
machine does need greasing now
and then. So it was beginning to
be a sorter gloomy outlook, with
the shadow of the meat trust
looming bigger every day.
But dry your tears.
Cut out them pitiful weeps.
Throw up your hat and shout
for joy.
The country has been saved
from an awful calamity, and tie
American belly can still be greas-
ed.
Who is our blessed benefactor7
Why, nobody but Johndee-the
same Johndee who has already de
prived himself Of poverty in order
that we might have enough OF 1t
poverty, l mean.
Yes, sir, Johndee has given the
meat trust a black eye for shore
certain, and it don't matter now
if you never see another slab OF
sow-belly.
Pick up just any paper or maga-
zine these days and you are apt to
see a big advertisement headed
"NUJOL'', and signed at the
bottom. "Standard Oil Com
pany."
By reading the glowing adver-
tisement you will become wise to
the fact that "Nujol' is a color
less and tasteless mineral oil
made out of kerosene, Of course
and that it is very useful to lubrl-
cate your intestinal tract and keep
your inside machinery running
smooth. Here-tune up your
gourd fiddle and try these few
snatches of Johndee's latest
greasy melody:
obstinate cases Of chronic consti-
patton, which no longer respond to
the usual laxative and cathcrtic re-
medies, may be successfully treated
by use of Nuiol as an internal lHbri-
cant. The mineral oil treatment fol
consultation has received the unquali-
fed endorsement of lcading specialists
both in this country and abroad
Nujol is or6orless and tasteless, abso'
lutely neutral. and is not digested OF
absorbed into the system. It acts
merely as mechanical lubricant"
And so they are putting the hu
man machine in the same elias:
with steam engine or an ole
rusty corn-sheller. We must grail
the oil can and squirt lubricatins
oil into our joints and bearings
and then drink the can dry t.
grease our growing CUTS We will
not be human beings any more
but just ordinary working
machines, and we will let Johnde
grease us with his new-fangle'
belly-wash till everything goe
easy.
We have probably neede'
"Nujol' from the foundation o
the world, but we didn't realiz
our need until Johndee took
notion to sell it to us. But now
having once learned of our awfu
ungreased condition, and not eve
a meat-skin in the house, W
could mt possibly live a week with
out "Nuiol."
AS Elbert Hubbard would hav
said, "Theresa, please pass tn
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
O0n a Home

Get home! Own it. Bravely make a
start:You will win. Be- man! Nothing
80 makes for it as home-your home
And the man who leaves IS legacy to
his family an uneBcumbered home, has
done far better than the average
American. Comparatively few mer
who do not leave q home leave proper
ty of any kind to their heirs. 1t is said
that in America fifty per cent of the
population own but five per cent of the
wealth. This would not be SO, II the
desire to own home tomorrow were
as universal and gripping as is the de-
sire TO have a good time tonight!
Some men excuse themselves from
investing in home, on the ground
that soon they may move to another
locality, and they fear loss in selling
This is not a legitimate fear. Wisdom
in choosing home, and care in preserv-
ing it, make "a safe sale certain. In
thus transferring home. the fund
should be kept intact for the purchase
of a home at the new location. For
the average thrifty American, an in
harited home stands for half a life's
savings. This is worth the serious
thought of man who wishes to equip
a son or a daughter for the financial
struggle Of life. Madison Democrat.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

A note from DR.. A, B. Stout, New
York Botanical garden, New York City
says that spring is very late there. He
asks for particulars concerning the
death af Miss Caroline Dnror and Miss
Lola B. Whitmore, who were accident
allo killed by pass enger train at Dew
ils Lake late in March, Miss Duror had
done some work in the laboratory of
which DR.. Stout has charge. The writ
or says the chief enjoyment they have
had during the past winter was attend
ing the opera.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
Recalls W6en
Coz. PeCE
Came 30
ToO1

Recently this office received a letter
from Captain George E. Alice, Laurel
MARYLAND, in which he speaks Of the
visit of the late Governor Peck to this
CITY. The death IF the former Wiscon
sin Governor a few days ago makes the
letter from MIR. Albee most timely
Among other things in the letter the
captain says:
In those old days there was veteran
soldier there dying with consumption
whose family was in want. The people
were raising moaey for them in
sorts of ways and one day | volunteer
ed to get George w. Peck, who at that
time was a reporter for newspaper
with the Legislature in Madison, and I'M
known to fame, to come to BarabOO ano
deliver q lecture for SINNERS benefit.
He came and delivered lecture on the
"Army Mule"tha was so very funny
that he received calls from all over the
state to repeat it in their towns.
That lecture for SINNERS benefit in
Baraboo understand to have been the
verv first lecture that Peck ever de-
ivered, and was the beginning of his
national reputation as humorist, I ba
lieve that all his bad Boy" books
came afterward, 80 think you may
safely claim that he made his start in
Baraboo, and for charity. We were
boarding at the time with Mrs Emma
Davis, then Mrs. James Struthers, and
took George Peck there for supper on
the night Of the lecture. Ifyou are &C.
uuainted with Mrs. Davis and ask hel
she will probably remember a very
funny contretemps in which an ice
pitcher figured, that my wife had care.
fully polished up for the occasion but
had forgotten to clean out the spout
AS it had not been used for year OF
more you can imagine what happened
when Peck started to pour out hi;
chaser.
| IL YOU Will ~ W ZIG A41CS VI CLAc OdA
aboo Republic and find the issue of Jan
6, 1886 you will find three column il
Illustrated account Of the greatest hoax
that was ever perpetrated On that com
munity ana in the Baraboo News Of
Jan. 5, 1886, you will find an account witt
heading that comes about as near beini
profane as any religious communit
would stand for, but Frank Kartack'
item was very funny just the same
If my old friend, Sob Cowan. wer
still living, he could tell all about tn
photograph racket and probably couI
remember some funny incidents con
Injected with it that are not mentione
the newspaper accounts.
Very truly yours,
Geo. E. Albee,
Capt. u. S. Army
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

Mr.. Wilson's foreign policy. denied its
neutrality, labored to have the Repub
lean State Convention make a strong
declaration in favor of an embargo. If
he was rot successful in that endeavor,
he qualified his failure by arguing on
the stump that the embargo idea was
dead because the war will have ended
before the Sixty-ffth Congress meets.
In short, he paltered, wabbled; there
was no ''vigor" in him.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
COUPLE WE2..-gED
At HIGH NOON
(Fron Thursdays Daily.)

Miss Temperance A. Carr, daughter
of Mr. and Mrs Charles II. Carr, of
Lynn street and Max Lamar, son of
Mr.. and Mrs. Marion La Mar, of Fair
field were quietly married at the M. e.
church in Fairfield today by the
Rev. F. Gillem, The young couple
were attended by Miss Myrtle Henry,
cousin of the groom, and Walter An
Choir. Both thu bride and her maid
were neatly attired in blue tailored
suits The couple left this afternoon
for short wedding journey to Madison
and other points. They will reside on
the La Mar farm in Fairfield. Mr.
and Mrs La Mar have many friends
who wish them much happiness. The
News" extends congratulations
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
LegiSlalnre e1JoHer. =

One of the biggest ''jokers" ever
put through legislature was Chapter
209 of the Laws Of 1915. Under it's
provisions, grain in elevators, ware
houses, malt houses ard breweries is
assessed on the basis of 125 cents to 70
cents per thousand bushels, while Mr..
Farmer has to pay for the grain in his
granary under the old direct tax sys-
TEN. Thus a farmer having 1000
bushels of wheat or hand on May 1st
would1pay at the average rate of the
state, 1884. In many townships, the
tax would be even higher and in some
perhaps double that figure Elevators,
etc, pay on their receipts for the year,
and no matter how many million bushels
of wheat they have on hand on May
LIST, it would only pay the 25 cents per
thousand bushels Not many farmers
carry large amounts of grain over, but
in the aggregate for the state they
have millions of bushels. and in the ag-
gregate of taxation they will pay &C
cordingly. Former Speaker Merlin
Hull in Black River Falls Journal.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
Land Values Going Up

Farm land values are increasing rap
idly. Figures made public Saturday
by the Department of Agriculture show
that values for the United States,
taken as whole, increased Is. rs per
cent in the last four years and II. s per
cent last year. The figures are based
upon reports from tina department. g
field agents.
The value of farm lands without i'm
provements is estimated at $45. so an
acre, compared with $40. IS a year ago;
$4,000 two years ago; $38. 10 three
years ago, and $36. % four years ago.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

Your old neighbor Bill Mackenzie of
Poynette travelled in Scotland a few
years ago, while on an European tour
with his brother, He tells this with a
perfectly grave face: The trains on the
Highland Railway in the north of
Scotland used to be painfully slow and
the officials of the company were pain
fully Indifferent to the fact. Once an
Englishman was travelling from the
farnorth on this lire It was important
that he get to Perth by a certain
time to catch the London express. The
trian crawIed along until finally it slow
edup and stopped at little countrywide
q 5atioD, wherei it remained for some tin g.
Finally the Englishman in desperation
put his head out of tho window, and
shouted: why the devil don't we go
on?" There beside the track stood the
conductor or gusrd-as he is called in
Great Britain-who replied to him in
choking voice:"I Gamma blaw the
whustle, ma mooth's foo o. biscuitsr'.
-Portage Democrat.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

There is more catarrh in this section
Of the country than all other diseases
out together, mo for years it WAS sup
posed to be incurable. Doctors pre-
scribed local remedies, and by constant
ly failing to cure with local treatment,
pronounced it incurabe. Catarrh is a
local disease, greatly influenced by con-
stitutional conditio and therefore re-
quires constitutional treatment. Halls
Catarrh Ours, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney & Co Toledo, Ohio, is a con-
stitutional remedy, is taken internally
and acts through the Blood on the Mu-
cous Surfaces of the System. One
Hundred Dollars reward is offered for
any case that Halls Catarrh Cure fails
to cure. Send for circulars and testi-
mOnials.
+ j. CHENEY & CO. Toledo, Ohio,
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
Wisconsin Politics

The New York Times contains a long
editorial on the political situation in
several states The following is said
about Wisconsin.
I'm Wisconsin the Republicans are in
about as pitiable case. The delegat es
to Chicago, are divided between the
partisans of Senator LaFollette and
those of Governor Philip LaFollette
belongs to the Surrender Squad and the
embargoists. He has been ferocious
against MIR. Wilson's foreign policy.
He played to and was pulled through
by the German vote, though some Ger
man-Americans, and at least one Ger
man-langusge paper. Die Germania
opposed him on account Of his woman
suffrage views and his backing by the
prohibitionists of North Dakota. So
far as the primaries show, Americans
are rare among the Wisconsin ,Repub
licans. The President of the State
German-American Alliance gave the
Governor certificate of eligibility as
lone Of our own" He had lambasteC
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

News re ;eived from Leon 9. Coates
is that he is somewhat improved al
though he will not be able to leave the
hospital before July. He has been in
the hospital most of the time the
past year being there constantly for the
past five months He is a son of Mr..
and Mrs. Harvey Coates and resides in
one Of the western states.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

Why should one study the occultation
of Jupiter by Venus when one can get
the same effect by seeing almost any
man obscured by almost any woman.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

John D. Rocke1eller's expression Of
admiration for Billy Sunday is the
tribute of one very successful mpn to
annthor-
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

1t is very pleasing to the eye and to
the sense of smell to step into thd E. I
Ross flower and seed store. Many beaut-
iful varieties of blooming plants are
exhibited at this, the Easter season.
There are Easter lilies, hyacinths, ram
bier roses, fringe, tulips and many
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

Perhaps the Rocky Mountain states
will wish to contribute airships rather
than ocean going vessels to the United
States navy.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
X X K

According to Chicago paper the
train on the new line from that city to
Winona, Rochester and Mankatc is
largely for the purpose of carrying pa
tents to the hospital at Rochester. The
train leaves Chicago at six O'Clock in
the evening and arrives at Rochester
early the next morning.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

If the enemy shall come disguised as
clay pigeons. our embattled trap
shooter will repel them without lifting
an eyebrow.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27

Trsinman Now, then. miss, get in
quick, please. The train is going to
start!''
Young Lady. But I want to give
my sister kiss 4"
TIainman Get in, I'll see to
that"
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1916-04-27
THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 1916

Many courtship is torpedoed on the
sea of matrimony.