Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-01-13

The folks back home
VIII say: We'll played. my son"
Same Thing.
'Th,nss haven't changed SO much af,.r M ,
sal" the Young woman who had turned her book
50 that lie would see II when he called
WHATS the answer he asked, just as n he
were inauirins the price of nccktie
Il have just read that Queen Elizabeth had
mauicurists."
SHOW me"
And when she passed him the marked passage
he read Queen Elizabeth called her hard
maidens
Wrong Number.
Il am looking for something easy" confessed
the panhandle.
Then why do YOU stop me- replied rautw,a
Lnhor Lost.
rs Johokus working at anything now?"
Hes making the bluff.'
That must I've work for Johok,,s"
The man who thinks that his troubles interest
You is the antithesis OF pcssirnist.
Ola Mnn. Old Joke. Pert Hoy,
Dear seen the Side: | am seventy wears
old but | never forgot this one which is one or
your Jokes That Were. I was walking by a bow
who Was hollering. | asked him why he was
Why are YOU going by when | am hollerin'"--
Jack.
SIN. u May Prove the Rule
Don't YOU believe all things come him who
waits"
''of course not. Cholly Iitebranc has been
waiting for thought strike him ever since
the day he was horn"
The Real Trouble.
He-Miss Hbrowe is completely disguised
with the modern young man. She saws lie is
incapable of thought.
She-What tho moor girl really means is that
the modern young man is incapable OF thoughts
OF her.
shakespeare for E:yerybody
For those who think they know: we. ignorant
Of ourselves, beg often own harms. which
the wise powers deny us for our good: so md
we proft by losing If our prayers"-Antopv
and Cleopatra. II. /.
For the unselhsh:
Shall here
And by relating tales of others griefs
See If twill teach us to forget our own"
-Pcricles. T. A.
For the grateful: 20. Lord. that lends me life
lend heart replete with thankfulness"
I'd Henry VI. L. |.
The PcsSimist Snys:
That troubles never come singly is not always
curse For example, good workmanlike
toothache will go far toward making = ma,
forget the flood of New Year bills
Oh, Yes We Men Understnnd
How are you getting on with your New Year
resolution"
Fine, but my wife doesn't understand it l
have not smoked any since January l. she
bought EN- al marked down sale
Billy Coo-What's her maiden aim
Hantippe-To throw herself at a man
Cut 1t Out.
In the calendar OF this year OF Our Lord there
Is one un!ucky day. Friday, October IS
What has become OF that dear old lady neigh
Dor who always brought over a mess OF spare
RIBS
Spit and spnt Club.
Old Woman the Right-rhe only way 70
catch a man so to hold him is to throw a har-
poon Of food into his stomach.
Old Man on the Left-The only way to lasso
a woman so she will stay nut s.,o throw
fat pocketbook into her grip.
Time for n second Thought
They tell me young Bitter is thinking OF
marrying for money"
"of course he is. but IL the object OF his at
tentions has an ounce of brains she will permit
him 20 go thinking"
Tastes Diner.
The man who thinks his Job in life
IL 10 make others like himself
Is certain 10 occasion strife
Perhaps will lose his health pelf--
For others may not find his WAYS
Entitled to such fulsome praise
Chats With Virginia Editors
"het the Richmond hotels all strong for
me ninety days session" observes the Norfolk
l-eh2er-Dispatch Safe enough wager.
The fredericksburg Star hnds that "uarrv
Houston has both brains and avoirdupois sufi-
Gent to successfully hold down the sueakor.s
CHAIR Ana also Keen eye, very necessary
part of spcakership equipment.
Mr. Bryan has decided go to ISurope
He VIII stay in Florida this winter and r,is.
his own mons.--Bcdford Democrat Mi ~