The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-03-17
BARGAINS IN
HUSBANDS
By MARY BARRETT HOWARD


The little kitchen was redolent OF
freshly baked cake. and stout Mrs.
Pickens. hurrying through the rem
nant of the weeks ironing. looked
flushed and heated.
Soap club or no Soap club. got 10
git Miss Ransoms thin's done. she
muttered. She'll be after EN- today
sure. for suspicion she amt got
many changes. l declare" she added.
pitifully. as she surveyed the fine, lace
trimmed garment on the ironing
board, lit makes me feel bad to see
how careful she's patched an mend
ed EN-. Ev'ry dud she's got Is most
fallin to pieces, but expect she amt
got the money to buy new ones.
amt mite surprised. | read one
her stories once an 1t was awful duii
to my thinkin'. | wish to the land she
was smart enough to write reel GOOD
one like st Elmo or Lena Rivers.
She looks half-starved. II | wasn't
afraid she'd take it as an insult Ia ask
her to stay to the meetin of the soap
club. I'm goin' to have good supper.
II do say it, an | worked in one
them cheap boardin' houses once an
/ know what they be. An to think
that her folks used to be as rich as
mud! met the old Judge jest lit
tie while before his death steppin out
as II he owned the earth-well, this Is
queer world, Goodness gracious
me-theres Miss Ransom now. ridin
in an autymobil! It's stopped an she's
comm I'M"
Hastily setting down her flatiron.
she ran to the door and admitted
slim. pale girl dressed in shabby
mourning. calculating as she did so:
We'll, If | amt surprised to see you
ridin' in an autymobil Miss Ransom,
Come right in-your thins Is jest
ready. an while I'm doing of EN- up,
want you should look at the new
premiums | got since you was here
last"
Glad to postpone even for few
Toemnts the irrevocable step TO
which she had just Pledged herself,
Elinor Ransom followed her hostess
into a room where a table was laid
with a brave array Of plated silver and
set of china decorated with flaming
red poppies
Its my day to entertain our Soap
club" Mrs Pickens explained. Ten
of us ladies clubs together an buys
our soap o Lally. an then we takes
turns DRAWN for the premiums. He
gives elegant ones. jest elegant! got
all that silver an that chiny set an
that picter frame for my share. Amt
that frame complete? Pickens
thought I'd ought to put his picter in
instead O. Tins. but Pickens is home
ly enough to scare the cat an Tin
was reel goodlookin' Teller. dom
you think so, Miss Ransom?"
The large colored photograph in thu
famboyant gilt frame was the portal
OF a pleasant-faced young workingman
and In spite of the crude coloring. TIT
"slicked down" hair, and the stiff at
titude OF one oppressed by his Sun
day clothes" Elinor was able to re
spond cordially: Yes. indeed. dc
Mrs Pickens"
But | dunno's | ought to find faul
with Pickens' looks when all is sal,
an done | was awful lonesome afte
I lost my first" Mrs Pickens said
"An' It want long before I found GU
that there's a mighty sight o. dif'renc
between washin' for pleasure as on
may say, Jest to git yourself some e,
try thin's. an in bendin over a vast
tub day in an day out tryin' to kee
body an soul together So when
come acrost an advertisement. on
day. tellin' about a place where 20
can buy a husband by payin down te
dollars cash in advance made up m
mind I'd try my luck"
"Why. Mrs Pickens. the ideal" Ell
nor gasped. THE very ideal"
1T did seem like buyin' pig in
poke" Mrs. Pickens admitted. "But
knew twas resk ten dollars or ear
my own Twin so far as I was col
cerned. for Tim had been dead most
year an theer hadn't hide nor hair ,
a man come shyin round.
"r got Mis- Jones that lives ne,
door to go with me-" she continue
"for I amt one Of your reckless kin
an I'd read in the newspapers no
women Is sOIHetHcs toieu ou a
murdered But land. needn't "a bee
skeered. for the man that runs Il
place-a marriage broker. he calle
himself-was as pleasant-spoken a Il
Ter as ever see. He said he was ce
tain he could suit me. but the man
brought out from the back room W;
"a sodforsaken a lookin' specimen
ever set eyes on.
"'You needn't think I'm goin'
take IN with such poor excuse for
man as that. | says to him \
sakes. says, do you think I'm look
for somebody else to support besid
MYSELF
".He's all got on hand lest no
ma'am. the broker says, kind OF |
gent an rersuasivelike But Their,
moro to this one than appears on t
surface-you can't always Judge by
rat,s looks how far she can jump.
81 can | says pretty sharp. I c
tell ev'ty time. an that there fell
would never in kingdom come ca
b,s own salt let alone mine
AT that marched right out OF I
room an down the stairs an the brt
., follered us most block sayin'
was reel sorry II happened so, but
I'd come again in a week he'd have
larger stock for me to select from.
"First | was so mad at his tryin'
work of a damaged piece O. goods l
that on me that thought | would