Middletown transcript., 1916-05-20
| GETTING
| START
Nathaniel c. Fowler, Jr.
copyright, 1915, by the Mcclure Newspa'
per Syndicate.)
coMRADEsHIP.

Friendship does not, ana CANNOT
exist without a community Of inter
est.
We select our friends, our real
friends, because they think as we do,
like the things which we like, and
are interested in what interests US.
Likes do not repel, and unlkes do
not attract, in every case by any
manner Of means, notwithstanding the
old and somewhat accepted adage to
that effect.
Friends may differ in detail, but
never are fundamentally apart in
either thought or action. They are
comrades. They love to be together,
to work together, to play together.
Neither tires of the other. They have
a common interest and occupy mu.
tual ground.
Ninety per cent of unhappy and un'
profitable marriages are due to the
fact that they are born of sentiment
and the imitation of love, instead of
being founded upon comradeship.
Sentiment is not safe. 1t has led
more people astray, and been respOn-
sible for more trouble, than any other
one element in the composition Of
human affairs.
1t is difficult for one to know wheth-
er or not a certain person is suitable
for him to marry, if he depends upon
sentimental feeling or allows blind
a. him IN fhn nfh0T
hand, both parties are good comrades,
liking the same things, having
strong mutual interest; and, if they
are contented when together, irrespec-
tive Of the affectionate side of court
ship, it is pretty safe for them to
marry, even though they may not have
what is commonly called love for each
other.
In order that I may not be mis-
understood, let me say that love, if it
is pure, is an absolutely safe guide
to follow; but, as comparatively few
of us can separate love from danger
Gus sentiment, we are not likely to
know whether we are under the in
huence of the genuine article
1t is, therefore, safer to depend
upon that which is surer, namely, com
radeship, for if genuine, it will breed
and develop love; but sentiment, if
not based wholly on true love, does
not necessarily carry comradeship or
give or hold a community of interest.
No man should marry a woman un-
less he feels perfectly happy with her
before marriage under all conditions
and circumstances; unless he loves
her at play, at work, at home, and
away; unless he is completely con-
tented when in her company, with no
desire to be away from her or to have
any interest which ne does not want
her to share with him.
If he can be happier at his club,
among his man friends, than he would
be indoors or out of doors with his
intended wife, there is something the
matter with him, or with her, or with
both Of them.
1 do not mean to say that a man
should be unhappy or discontented
when temporarily away from his
fiancee or his wife; but, unless before
marriage he is happier and more con-
tented with the woman than without
her, and he is willing to make her a
partner in everything, there is lacking
that comradeship, that community Of
interest, which is sure to kill all the
love there may be between them, and
result in disaster.
If men would select their mates as
they choose their intimate friends, and
use the same judgment in so doing,
and if women would do likewise, the
percentage of unhappy marriages
would be reduced to the minimum.