The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1916-04-22

PIucIed BY The Golden Belt Spectator.
The Spectator has no advice to offer
his readers who cannot pass the Binet-
Simon mentality tests.
5000
When people say that they are flip
pant they are merely saying that they
have tried to be such. Only an artist
can be flippant without actually being
so.
Platonic friends never seem to I'M
derstand that there can be and are pla-
tonic friendships other than those of
which they are part.
oooo
Platonic friendships consists in just
one explanation after another.
oooo
The styles this spring emphasize the
fact more than ever that milady's
shoes are much more clumsy off than
on.
1t has been suggested that engage
ment rings bear the date of the ap-
preaching event To this suggestion a
married woman in Hays has added that
it would also be sensible to place upon
the ring the fact that it is paid for or
not. Paying for engagement rings
after marriage is not compatible with
love in cottage.
oooo
To string woman or man is
joint occupation of the sexes at which
women are more proficient than men,
because women can dangle the men.
5000
Someone has well said that to stand
on your dignity is to take step down.
5000
And nearly every undignifed position
is because some one is trying to save
his dignity.
If candor consists in speaking of our
own faults, what is it when we speak
of the faults of others?
oooo
/ To speak of the faults of others, is
one method of self-esteem.
5000
He who is much talked about is also
much lied about.
The Gullible Gossips of Hays are each
able performers on the Tyre, even
though they are not members of the
toy symphony orchestra.
oooo
Many people cannot understand what
is meant by the term perpetual mo-
ton If they have ever tried to
please an old maid the expression is
easy.
An amateur play is bad enough of it
self, but when one performer is head
and shoulders above the others, the
real goodness of the play is at a sad
disadvantage.
John Macdonald, editor of the West
ern School Journal, has started a cam
paign to have Spanish taught in Kan
sas schools. He says that this will in
crease the efficiency of the schools.
How simple of you, Mac, do you not
know that school boards in Kansas hate
and abhor efficiency?
oooo
Every thing that makes for efficiency
in the schools has more opponents than
advocates. That is the price paid for
public schools. Everyone, including
parents who once taught school, knows
more about the needs of school sys-
tenn than its own paid experts.
oooo
A certain woman made the request
that the Free Press be Rept out of
sight at the public library, because this
column contained paragraph that she
thought was not exactly Puritanical.
Really, my dear madam, the Spectator
did not know that it was as good as
that
This can happen in Hays in less than
six hours by the clock. One person
can shake hands with another person in
the presence of over twelve other peo-
pie. In less than the time mentioned
above, it will be reported over towr
that the two kissed and there viii be
over forty eyewitnesses- The proof Of
the above statement is the fact such
an occurrence took place in Hays last
week. When it comes to efficiency the
Gullihle Gossips of Hays surpass their
sister organizations in other Kansas
towns.
oooo
Il. C. Hammond of Newton, Kansas
has defined lie to be, IAN untrutl
told to one who has the right to know
the truth" To the superficial this
seems ike justification of gossip, ant
to those who think it is, it is
oooo
To say that some people are brainles
Is to unduly compliment them.
5000
The Leader, of the Normal school