The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-19

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but knowing you have at least patronized
one of them, I'll spare myself the pos
sible embarrassment of being more ex-
plicit in regard to samel But then, they
mean passes as a rule, so why be
hard on the poor things; maybe Tex
perience" will teach them something,
too, and in the meantime it's nice to go
to show without paying-cash for it
occasionally
Speaking of Press Agents, calls to mind
a recent customer of mine. She wasn't
/ really truly 'press agent"-she was
just the wife of vaudeville performer
incidentally, he needed no press agent
he had a wife! A most charming and in
teresting woman, one who wrote for the
papers, and carried on voluminous cor
respondence.
That's where I came in. About two
hours before she would get ready to write
she would invariably come to my desk
and ask for an appointment, the one
thing a public stenographer cannot make
After explaining the reason to her for
this each time, and agreeing to take
her as near that time as possible, she
would go away only to appear exactly
on time. Generally was busy.
| At such times she had habit of sitting
| just within my range Of vision and either
| look directly at me while waiting or
get up and walk up and down. BY the
| time could take her, naturally, my dis
position would be somewhat unused
| up" Once seated at the desk she would
| commence to go over her notes, which
! she seldom could read, and hadn't thought
! of trying until ready to dictate-then Ito
| think of that "then" makes me shudder
| stilD we would merely commence, only
| to discover the desk light was not well
situated, the desk not well placed and
| should the music be playing-that 1t
was an abomination-all these mere tri-
fies take time to point out as you
may realize and at the end of an hour
and possibly as much as a page and Il
half of work, she would discover that
she had an appointment and would rush
off, leaving me the proud possessor of
Soc! A very charming woman, yes.
A la 1.-THE Only Girl hero, the one
who said, II have the germ of an idea"
every five minutes, that is just the way
I feel now; so / am going to tell you
how I learned to handle the most un-
pleasant type of man, as well as custo-
mer, that I know Of You all know him.
the one who makes you wish you could
buy him for what he Is worth and sell
him for what he thinks he is worth
the man who fairly charges the atmos-
phere with that big I am and little
you are air. He always halls from an
garden spot of the world, and when he
deigns to unbend for conversation, only
does so to "knock your town." You know
the type we all meet them at least once
in while.
For long time this type was the most
trying to me, arousing all the Irish in
me- not that I mind being regarded as
''bonehead" by the poor things, but
did mind the idea they seemed to have
that they were impressing me with their
Importance. So, after a long time fig
ured out would just pity him. Yoa
see this type of person is always alb
solutely devoid of humor and getting
down to rock bottom it is funny to think
Of a big, pompous somebody with an
inflated opinion of himself stalking among
his fellows thinking he is impressing
his Importance upon them and filling
them with awe, when, in reality. he is
amusing them. Looking at it in this
light, it is so much easier to give them at
least polite consideration.
That, in ITSELF saves, oftentimes an
unpleasantness that in the long run would
be without result; but, with all this phil
osophy, give me any other species to deal
with than this, because, as the boys say,
"they get your goat"
AS the men would say, "the drinks
are on me-" you see right now the
pOllllCldilS dlc dliiOhe oo--lilOoc DTOll-
ers with the high foreheads and shay
gy locks Ssh! say it softly, generally
bald heads too, a la Bryan effect) or
the other type, the one who comes
from a certain state and knows every
enc in 1t and wants you, me and the
other fellow to be sure and know it,
That is why possibly I had "politi-
ciane' on my mind, when q man who
looked enough like William Jennings
to be his brother walked up to me
and asked for my services for the dav.
1 told him that would be impossible
but that I would get him a stenog-
rapher He told me she must be
AL" Finally, after I had secured one
he came up and looked way deep down
into my eyes (you know the way, just
as though he liked my looks) and
asked me again if wouldn't work for
him for what I usually made down
here, whatever 1t as.
Naturally my chest expanded some
and I thought, Right away / have
made a hit" Why wouldn't I, when
the same soulful look remained in
his eyes after I mentioned So OF
course, to be fair with you. did tell
him that l couldn't consider his Of
fer, so that may partially explain the
look remaining stationary, as it were.
but, to continue The girl came and
I told her that the gentleman In room
wanted work done and I judged he
was politician. price seemed no OBJ
ject to him-r-to act accordingly. Here's
ba iolya is IN oho lot