The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-12-06


 :, long. It's very odd that can't mention l that creatures name without you begin to fight the bolster, and do, I don't know what. I'm beginning to believe there's something in it, or you wouldn't kick so about it. A guilty conscience needs no | but there! You know what l meanp' l I'll never get over that minx decid- i ing at the last moment to come back home with us from J., sweetly explain 1 ing that she's received a message to | return at once and she could get back quicker in the car than on the train
 It was all a put up job, MT. Caudle, I | firmly believe, between you and her; no doubt she thought I'd give her my place | by your side in the car, but I was too ] smart for her; I made you sit in front l the whole way back with the chauffeur and she has never yet had a chance to speak a word to you-privatelyp'
 What's that you say? Good night, | love? Don't you good night, love me- Mr. Caudle; you can be very tender, nKe | all of your sex, to suit your own ends, but I can't go to sleep with my head l full of the destruction and waste that l has gone on in this house in the few days I was away. I've counted the knives; two of the best silver knives are missing those with the grape design; know there l are some spoons missing, too, although I haven't yet counted them. No I don t l always look for the worst, and I don't make myself unhappy as you accuse me of doing before the time; but, of course, | that's all the thanks I could expect from you for taking care of your property. I | haven't had the heart to look at my pickels and preserves yet; I'm sure the l jars have been opened and the contents eaten. Oh you can swear at the pickles and preserves when you are in bed as much as you like, but nobody makes more noise about 'em when you want em!" | And the poor eat? I know she hasn' t had a bite to eat since left! she looks 1 half starved What? You hate cats, and you wish she had starved to death? Yes, I thought you'd feel that way, MT. | Caudle because I love her; you always hate the things I like. If that cat could only speak, she'd tell few things about you and your cruelty. It isn't necessary 1 Whats that you say? I haven't an idea what you mean, sir
 1 You are going to get up and read, l MT. Caudle? How dare you insult me 1 that way? You are interested in a book you've started? Pretty pose that for you being fond of books. Why you never Tread anything in your life but Three Weeks and Lifes Shop Window Such
 taste in literature I can't abide This is different? Miltons Paradise Lost? I thought 1t was some rubbish of that sort something to insult me. A nice person, Milton was to write books. Why? You say he hadn't six wives-only three? I knew though you'd take his part; men | always behave like that to each other. live no doubt, MT. Caudle, that you d like to follow his example, but I'll see that you dont I'm going to outlive you l if I possibly can, and you'll never reInem- Der using me as that awful creature did l those poor women he married, although you'd like to! Poets are genuines, you
 say, and must be treated accordingly? ? Then they shouldn't marry if they are queer-like and curious. If I had the vote which I hope and pray I may have sene day I shall try to make a law against such monstrosites having wives except upon paper; heaven help the poor creatures tied to them! A plain, ordinary, | everyday man is bad enough for hus- band but from poet-good Lord deliver us! Like innocent moths lured by a | candle, women are drawn to them. And speaking of candles, MT. Caudle, did you happen to know that the globe to the
 electric light in the back hall was smash l ed while we were away? I say, did you know it, MT. Caudle? Won't you answer? lDo you know where you are, sir? What S | that? In The Garden of Eden?' Are you? Then you get out of that place. sir, l for you've no business there at this time
 of nght!'