The Detroit times., 1916-09-20
Church Members Not Actors Have Skinned Me Out Money! Says da

I ing, or get nearer TO Hin by taking
OF my coat, I'd do II.
| "If you want to break up a church.
don't come: IL you do come always
come late. II It's too wet or too
dry or too cold OF too hot or too
windy. don't come at all.
| THE preacher can't be eloquent
| 70 wood and varnish. Don't imagine
| the front seats were intended for
you; people might think you were
conceited.
you know I used TO Are on a
railroad, and we used to put the
| loaded carr in front and the empty
cars behind-to pull easy.
When Devil Gets Cold Feet
| when you do come, come bound
TO find fault, and don't for the world
ever think about the pastor or
church; you viii help him ~ you
do. Don't sting; Just SIT around like
bump on a log.
| Good music will give the devil
| cold feet, / suppose that 10 the reas-
| on 90 many scraps start In the choir
loft.
Don't attend prayer meeting. and
| II you do, don't take part. You can
always Justify yourself by saying,
| Paul says that women should keep
still IN meetings
well, that doesn't apply any
moro 70 you today than wearing
| sandals on your feet.
| Don't encourage the pastor. but
be sure to tell him his faults 10 ev-
erybody at meeting. n his sermons
help you never let him know. but n
he says something you don't like.
be sure you tell him about II. II
you see a stranger In the audience.
don't shake hands with him; II you
do, ne might come back again. Give
him the Icy hand. the marble heart
and n Klondike stare.
Don't try to bring anybody to the
church. The church might be filed
that way.
LET the pastor do all the
work: he has nothing special 10
do. Preaching is a picnic; he
has nothing TO do. only two ser
mons to get up every week, run
prayer meeting, marry people
and bury them, make church
subscriptions; nothing TO do but
just wait on you and come 10
visit YOU
See that his salary is always be-
hind. He doesn't have to eat like
the rest OF you. God sent the raw
ems and he's got plenty yet, II he
doesn't visit you often as you think
he should. treat him coldly He
has nothing particular to do but call
| L.. ~ u
willing 20 carry on the work OF God.
be sure TO find fault with them and
call them bold and forward.
Don't be particular how God 5
church looks. Be sure and have
your own homes fine, with Persian
and Administer rugs. bric-a-bac. car
delabra and everything OF the fine
BE sure and have your own home
fine. Don't care If the church looks
like a rummage sale or Junk shon.
God Is entitled 10 the best church
that can be built. | don't believe In
worshipping God In a little chicken
coop, an unpainted chicken coop
You will spend three or four
thousand dollars for an automobile
and | don't begrudge you that
wish everybody had an automobile
that can afford it But YOU won {
! put anything in the collection box.
You women spend more for a
hat than you would give 10 the
cause OF religion in q lifetime.
| I don't begrudge you the hat but
when you sweep down The aisle
with $50 hat and a 5000 dress.
and put a plugged cent in the
collection box do bcgrudge
| that
Il want to tell you. God don't
stand FOR that kind OF thing. either.
Insist on your views being adopt
ed in all things; don't give In 10 the
| majority government. We run this
| government by majority and | would
! like 20 run everybody that way, TOO.
! But tho church isn't run that way.
| Let the tail wag the dog
Then, again. II YOU sec that ev-
erybody Is working tremendously.
get busy and start n fight
"If the minister wants a Quartette
! you insist on a choir. II the minis
| ter wants choir You insist that
a quartette Is the thing
Sister 8uttInsky
Get busy, oh Sister Buttinsky ="
Services rendered In such oppos-
| tie directions could noj meet with
! the same result. This old Pharisee
comes sneaking into the synagogue;
II was open all the time like the
| temple. and they meet there and
III - G-IA