davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
HUMOR OF THE BRITISH

The war may resuscitate the bllghted British joke if it does nothing else, accord ing to Pelham Grenville Wodehouse who says in an interview given to the Phila- delphia Ledger:
 English humor has gradually been grow ing more alert. The English humorist has been adopting less patronzing attitude toward his readers He has credited them with a certain amount of intelligence and has not considered it necessary to explain his jokes in detail as he used 10 explain them
 "You remember the old volumes of Punch and Pierce Egan's hunting pictures. The point of every joke, however obvious, was put in italics so that it might not possibly be missed. If the joke was about a childs bright retort or something of the sort there would also be given after the italicized point of the joke phrase in pa renthesis showing the effect of the retort on the other character in the dialogue-'Con sternation of Mr Brown or Total collapse of Mir. Jones' or something like that.
 "A typical example of American humor is the eyeball story The scene is Western mining town. An Engllshman enters the bar, where men carrying six-shooters are standing around taking and gulping down great lugs of clear whisky. He turns to the bartender and says, Will you give me a 'ighball, please?'
 ''The bartender looked at him for a mo nent and then turned to the bar waiter Jake he said, this gent wants an eye ball I don't know what he wants it for But run out and catch Chinaman.'
 "Now that is an excellent story, and over here it has a general appeal But in England it would be considered coarse and vulgar The typical British joke of the best sort has to do with motor cars or buffers or bishops or week ends"
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
LEO CLIFFORD IN TOWN
 WITH NEWS FROM CRIPPLE

Leo Clifford, who has been on Cripple creek since since late last summer, arrived in town on Christmas day Leo was re- gently appointed administrator of the estate of his mining partner, Fred Anderson, and is busy settling up its affairs. He reports the Cripple district as rather quiet at pres ent, and brings the following budget of news:
 H. M Anderson has been blazing & new trail between Cripple and Poorman creeks, which reduces the distance five miles. The work was done under the supervision of Stockman, the mail carrier
 John Cameron Is in charge of the Ed wards Bros store at Ophir during the ab sence of Mir. and Mrs Dave Edwards, who left for the Outside some weeks ego to spend the winter.
 William Wedemann is hauling lumber from Cripple to Boob creek.
 Fred Wilhson, Jim Mcleod and Louis | Halverson have made new discovery in the Cripple camp on Slug gulch, which runs first hole they sunk they secured 19 grains of geld from ten pans. They crosscut the gulch and found pay fifty feet wide. A hole l50 feet below discovery revealed good pay The ground is ten feet deep, with three feet of pay dirt. They estimate it to go about $2 to the foot
 Fred Wilison has also uncovered on Cripple mountain what he believes to be tungsten, and is sending samples Outside for assay.
 Since the discovery of pay high up on Slug gulch, on Cripple mountain, Bob La fergey, Andy Swartzdahl ad George Tor vano have staked the head of Fox gulch and the head of Cripple creek, and are pre- pairing to prospect.
 Henry Sel CTS (the Rough Rider") has bought H. NJ. Hanson's interest on Cripple creek He and John Cameron will open-cut on the Dusty Diamond association next sea son.
 There is real prospecting going on in the Innoko-not around the stoves in the road houses but on the creeks. Holes are being sunk and work is being carried on from early morning till late at night.
 Al Jones left Cooper last Saturday for Poorman creek to do representation work there.
 The "O0" outfit, O'Connor & O'Malley, have gone DECK to Lone mountain to WofN for the winter They cleaned up $500 from their work there last winter Several other outfits are going there from Poorman creek to prospect this winter.
 The North fork of the Innoko Is the game country this year, Hogan, of the North fork roadhouse, got three moose, Harry Eckstrom two, and George Trevano and Andy Swartzdahl Killed nine carl- bou on that stream.
 Mr Fowler has returned from Poorm2n to Boob creek, where he intends to develop his interests.
 Bob Gierke has returned to the Innoko after four months visit Outside Bob had not been Outside for eleven years. He hA5 some startling stories to relate. He was Henry Roden on the coast. He says MT, Roden told him he had bought an interest in fishing business which he considered better than gold mine. Bob will leave again in few days for Rainy pass, where he will spend month or more hunting, and intends to return in February.
 Harry Eckstrom and Miss Peterson of the Cripple City roadhouse have been re- modelling their place and preparing for the heavy travel they expect to come from the Yukon this winter.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

was found that the Democrat was victori- ous, and like a good loser Mir McCauley gave sumptuous spread and an enjoyable dance, to which everybody was invited.
 Owing to the wager, Democrats and Wickersham men were out early and late getting out every vote possible, but Com missioner Moody proved the better vote getter.
 Everybody in the district was interested in the outcome, and personally, owing to the wager, but whichever way it went the residents of the town were the winners, as they got in on the free feed and dance, while the leaders of the opposing factions paid the bills"
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
RUBY IGLOO OF PIONEERS
 HAD THANKSGIVING BLOWOUT
fRubv Record Citizen Dec 2)

lltuDy ReCOrd-C -CltlZen, Dec. 2l
 Thursday afternoon at 8 o'clock the Ruby Ieloo of Pioneers gave big Thanks giving dinner at Eagle hall to the entire town of Ruby. In fact, it was open house.
 The impressions one got upon opening the door were of two tremendously lony tables covered with spotless linen and laden with food of every description, while in the rear of the hall near the doorway, stood goodly company waiting for seat ngs at the board
 Upon closer range the tables showed huge platters of roast turkey, roast chicken. roast moose roast pork and boiled ham. Smaller platters contained heapings of potato salad dill pickles cranberry sauce, while in tall bottles were tiny sweet pickles Cakes of every variety, baked by the willing hands of the ladies of Ruby, tempted those who have a sweet tooth, while wine. nuts, reisins and fruits were served in overfowing meas ure.
 Before partaking of the dinner a pro gram consisting of few numbers was ren- dered Mrs. E. Herring and Miss Ellen Capewell played piano solos, while Mrs. J. N. Sousa sang, accompanied by her sister, Miss Eda Simon. Miss Eva Johnson recited a selection appropriate to the day.
 Then Ruby turned its attention to the matter of disposing of the contents of plat ter, bottle and jar and the assemblage waxed merry During the dinner J. J. Fiji bin and Deputy Marshal Thomas H. Long played the piano by foot-power and the babel of talk and laughter that accompa- nied their efforts was evidence conclusive that Ruby was having good time
 The dinner finally dispatched, the en- tertainment was concluded by recitation rendered by Mrs. Frank Johnson, and some amusing acrobatic feats by T. J. Dewey Then, with a sigh of absolute content, the assemblage disbanded.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
CHRISTMAS TREE FESTIVAL
 AND MANY DINNER PARTIES FEATURES OF FLATS HOLIDAY

The Christmas tree entertainment at Flat last Sunday evening, Christmas eve, was enjoyed by a great throng from all parts of the district, Iditarod and Otter creek being well represented among the vis- ltors. Everything went off according to schedule. The childrens program, under the supervision of Miss Helen Grant, was q treat, and all of the little folks acquitted themselves most credltably. The work of coaching the youngsters WAS shared by Miss Grant and Mrs. Harry Donnelley of Discovery, and too much cannot be said in praise of their work.
 The Christmas tree feature, with the dis tribution of presents to each child, was the most exciting event of the evening, and the delight of the children was shared by their elders The usual number of amusing in cdents accompanied the bestowal of the gifts.
 A plentiful and appetizing supper was served by the ladies, and the entert ainment concluded with dancing the music for which was furnished by Messrs V. J. Jacobs and Charles E. Taylor.
 The chairmen of the various committees
  tertainment were as follows
 Entertainment, Miss Grant refreshments, Mrs. Charles Strandberg; decorations, Mrs. Ed King; finance, Mrs. Fred Dicksen.
 Many Dinner Parties
 On Christmas day many of Flats resi- dents entertained at dinner, among them being the following:
 Mir and Mrs C. R. Peck entertained Mrs Leland Harry Leland, Garrison Costar and V. J. Jacobs.
 Mir and Mrs William Hetman had as guests Mrs T. Perry, Miss Alvira Hetmsn John Novak, s. w. Dickson and Sam Hobbs
 Austin Horner and Oscar Gardner were the guests of Mir. and Mrs. J. E. kettlewel Mr and Mrs. Thomas McMahon enter tained Mir and Mrs Albert Winchell Mir. and Mrs. P. F. Keith, John Soil and John Auld
 Mir and Mrs. George Mutchler had as guests MT. and Mrs. John Folsom, David Mutchler, Jake Mutchler, Chrsty Anthoni- son Jerry Wynne, Felix Riley, James Walsh Frank Kelly, Jack Hanley, Sure Stenburg Emil Gustafson, P Patterson, Al Gosow and Uncle" Al Walsh
 Charles krutsinger and A. E. Meacham were the guests of Mir. and Mrs. Smaller Mir and Mrs Frank Dawson had as din 'ner guests Miss Grant, Miss Kelly Miss Mur- ray, Mrs Chittick, Mir and Mrs Harry DonneIley, Mir and Mrs Fred Smith, Joe Smith, John Heckdal and John Keller.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
JOE SMITH RETURNS HOME
 AFTER ARDUOUS EXPERIENCE

Joseph H. Smith, who has been on Moore creek for some time past returned to the city on Sunday last. He is quite well pleased with the showing made in his recent work on that creek, and expects to return in March to continue the work.
 Mr. Smith left here in November with a gasoline drill to prospect his claims. Severe weather was encountered and the machine was not delivered on the ground until De- cember. Once installed, however splendid work was accomplished with the drill, and the pay was located in a crosscut begun by Mr. Smith year ago.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
} , Q Q 6 6 Q 6 c Q Q Q Q 900 Q { } LOCAL AND PERSONAL (
. Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q oooo Q Q {

A baby boy was born to MT. and Mrs David Mutchler on Sunday December 24
 Al Walsh returned on Sunday last from a trip which included the Toltsoi, Ophir and McGrath. Reports heard by Mr. Walsh on the trail were to the effect that the early mushers over the Seward trail encountered severe weather, and that thirty-four trav- Hers were held up by storms at the Rainy pass roadhouse at one time, and were finally compelled to take their chances with the clements because dog feed could not be ob- tained.
 Joe flanagan left on Saturday last for the Tol3toi
 George Adams arrived in town last Thursday afternoon at 2:30 o'clock with the mail, and left within three minutes for Flat. George left here Wednesday morning with the outbound consignment, and re- ceived the incoming mail at the Halfway roadhouse
 Captain U C. Norton arrived in town last Saturday evening from Dikeman with the famous sled-boat "Nortonia" Mrs Emil Jensen of the Halfway roadhouse, with her .wo little children, were passengers, coming to spend the gladsome Christmas with friends in Iditarod
 Sure Stenberg defed the storm of last Thursday and left for the Tolstoi.
 A. DeHaus and George Kay left yester day for Tolstoi
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
MOODY WAS A GAME SPORT

According to letters from the lower river
 the people of Hot Springs were the winners on election day says the Fairbanks News Miner of November p "J C. Moody, the commissioner, bet C. D. McCauley dinner for the whole town that Sulzer would carry the town When the votes were all in it
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
IDITARODERS AT SEWARD

The Seward Gateway of November P notes the arrival from Iditarod of the fol lowing Iditarod people bound for the Out side: Harry Riley Angus Mcklnzie, Er nest Mckinzie, Charles Ross, Gille Bates, Joe Lorenger, Chester Brink, James Kepler R. o. Osgood Harry Johnson, Harry Gun ningham, Hans Erickson of Canes creek Mir Ross, a banker and MT. Riley, of the big mining firm of Riley & Aitken, say things are fine in the Interior camp. Charley Ross says the Tolstoi is looking up well,
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
SALMON SHIP FROM ALASKA
 SAILS INTO GOLDEN GATE

Transbay passengers numbering 25,090, on their way to unromantc toll in San Francisco, had thrill late in September, when the full-rgged ship Indiana, seventeen days out from Karluk Alaska, came into harbor under her own sail
 Backed by a stiff breeze the Indiana swept through the Golden Gate, turned & right angle corner at Alcatraz island and edged past the Ferry building to her an chorage, while the ferry boats twisted them selves out of her way and sirens and tug whistles roared approval.
 About once in ten years, marine authori- ties said. sailing vessel made her berth without being lowed in
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
Says "a Prominent Banker"

A prominent banker from Idtarod stated yesterday that the Interior camp has still nine or ten years of active life before it.
 even if nothing else shows up, says the same newspaper It is strange how little infant mortality has affected those placer camps, predictions to the contrary notwithstanding.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
MORAL SUASION

"Bless mel" said Tommy's greatuHcle, "do you mean to say that your teachers never thrash you?"
 Never" replied Tommy. we have moral suasion in our school"
 What's that?"
 ''Oh we get kep' in, and stood up in cor ners, and locked out and locked in, and made to write one word thousand times, and scowed at and jawed st; and that's all "-Motherhood Magazine
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
HAPPY NEW YEAR

The Crosby wishes to extend to its many friends and patrons Happy New Year." thanking them for past patronage and hop ing they will continue to patronize the Crosby in the coming year THE CROSBY MASSAGE AND BATH
 PARL0RS The Home of the Twentieth Century Turk
 iSh Bath
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
SPECIAL STAGE FROM FLAT

Mutct ler's stage vii leave the Flat City tram office on Monday afternoon next, January l, at 5 o'clock, for the Pioneers big mask ball at A. B. hall Iditarod
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

Bob Roberson, who has been engaged in developing claims on Boob creek, returned to the city last Saturday to spend the Christ mas holidays. He left on the return trip on Thursday last.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
I ook Who's Here

The Gateway of December ? mentions the arrival of Sid Ensor, "who came over the trail last night with his dog team from 1dit arod and has as passenger H M. Guise who represents the Guggenheim interests in there"
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

George Marsh, who is now located at Fortuna Ledge, remembered several friends in this city with Christmas greetings sent by wireless from St. Michael.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
THE WEATHER

The following table of temperatures is from readings taken daily at 8. m. by E. J. Smith The minimum is for the pre- ceding twenty-four hours, The third col umn gives the temperature for the core spondipe date a year ago:
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

Fresh Olympia and Eastern Oysters sl 50 per can Iditarod Meat Co.,
 For steam baths, go to the Snyder House, Flat.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

Caps made to order Furs repaired. Mrs Smaller, Flat City.
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30
HIS CHOICE

"Where is your lawyer?" inquired the judge
 q have none," responded the prisoner; "havent any money"
 Do you want a lawyer?" asked the judge.
 There is Mir. Smith, Mir Brown and Mr Green" said the judge, pointing to the young attorneys waiting, briefless and breathless, for something to turn up, land MT. Alexander is out in the corridor" The prisoner eyed the budding attorneys and, after a critical survey said, Well guess I'll take MT. Alexander Tit Bits We give cigar with every ticket pur chased from us for the Pioneers Mask Ball ANSLEY'S.
 Caps made to order Furs repaired Mrs Smaller, Flat City.
 For steam baths, go to the Snyder House, Flat. Fresh Olympia and Eastern Oysters. s1,50 per can. Iditarod Meat Co.
 - Job Printing et The Pioneer office
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

Fresh Olympia and Eastern Oysters. $l 50 per can Iditarod Meat Co,
Iditarod pioneer., 1916-12-30

late a year ago:
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-09-20
TELEGRAPH BRIEFS

Washington. - Naval board has
completed industrial survey Of fac
tories and equipment that could be
utilized in case Of war. Covers prac-
ticaIIy every factory and machine
shop in country.
Berlin.-250 drowned when big
dam broke above town of Hannwald.
Wrecked many villages.
BerIin.-Prices of meat here re-
duced about 10 per cent.
DanViIIe, III.-Watch in family of
C. M. Campbell for 116 years still
keeps good time.
San Antonio.-174 guardsmen
dropped out on hike to Austin. Gen.
Funston much disappointed with
poor showing of these miHtiamen.
1920
Firemen called twice to quench
small fires in stock yards building of
Morris eco. Damage less than 500,
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-09-20

OANNGaN OGaS6 ~ ~ SSuNAN
RIOTS AT ANY COST
New York, Sept. 20.-After a, night
of worst rioting since beginning of
strike Of street car men, in which
subway, elevated and Surface cars
were attacked, orders were issued to-
day to New York police that Tioting
must be put down at all costs.
Authorities are convinced that the
striking men do not intend to aban-
don their fight for recognition with
out most desperate struggle and ar
rangements are being made for more
rigid guard than ever has been nee
essary for protection of trains.
Twenty arrests were made today.
AS a further safeguard to trains
and surface cars authorities today
equipped Is more automobiles for
patrol duty. Twenty of these already
had been in service and were kept
busy last night answering calls from
every district in city.
An additional squad of plainclothes
men, in charge of a lieutenant, also
was sent out from headquarters.
These men will be used as patrol for
house tops, from which elevated
trains have been attacked repeatedly.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-09-20

CANDIDATE HUGHES LOSES HIS
PANTS-GOES TO BED
Sheboygan, Wis.,, Sept. 20. - Into
LaFOllette's Progressive territory,
Republican Nominee Hughes carried
his sermon of reunited Republican
party today.
The nominee was stimulated by
one of the biggest meetings ever held
in Illinois.
1t developed today that Hughes
had an unpleasant experience in
Springfield late yesterday. After his
speech at the fair grounds, the gov
ernor hurried back to a hotel, drip
ping with perspiration and anxious
for change of clothes. He hustled
into bath, depositing his soaked
garments on a chair. Then he got
into a bathtub. In the meantime
there was a hurried search by the
guards for some dry clothes. Gibson,
messenger and valet, to whom the
garments had been entrusted, had
disappeared. There was a hurried
search for Gibson. In the meantime
the candidate had finished his bath
and was shouting TO rdry clothes. Be
cause they were not in evidence he
had to go to bed temporarily until
Gibson put in an appearance with an
excuse about a busted tire.
-0-0
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-09-20
THE TROUBLES OF YOUTH

THE TROUBLES OF YOUTH
'Pm in trouble with my girl" said
the first youth disconsolately to his
friend.
why, what's the trouble?" said
the other sympathetically.
1--WE been saying such nice things
to her that she's getting conceited.
Now, if 1 stop she'll think 1 don't
care for her any more, and if 1 go
on she'll think she's too good for
me-"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-09-20

To prevent the birds destroying
the cherries on his tree, the Rev. R.
D. Roller of Charleston, W. Va,
bought pair Of canton flannel spot
ted cats, such as are used to gladden.
the hearts of infants, placed them
in the tree, and the birds gave it
wide berth.
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1916-02-06
OPENING OF THE GARDEN SEASON.

While spring itself does not begin with February,
Spring work does And it is gardening work 1t is not
expected of that the gardener will go outdoors and
garden He will not spade up flower beds and turn over
he soil where the summers vegetables grow. But
he real gardener the advent of February will set
am to doing what others postpone doing until April
February, in the gardeners calendar is known as
planning month. Before it has passed into March the
yard gardener knows what he is going to plant and
where he is going to plant it. His garden planned as
completely as house night be planned He knows where
he row of early lettuce will grow, what second crop will
olow It, and In good many instances what third crop
VII follow the second He has planned to make the most
his ground Each square foot of it will produce not
nly one crop-that would be waste of opportunitv-but
succession of crops And he will have planned that
nth the use OF early midseason and late varieties of veg
tables, he will have produce from his garden over long
eason Instead of having more peas and beans for fort
light than he possibly consume and then no more at
IL he will have peas and beans all through their season.
nough at all times and no than enough.
Indoors in sunny windows, both flowers and veget-
bles will be planted in the seed flats before the month is
nded Later when others only beginning to think of
anting he will have socky little seedlings ready to 90
nto the ground outdoors Thereby he snatches month
ut of the grasp of Time All his pruning of grape vines
Evening capital news. (Boise, Idaho) 1901-1927, 1916-02-06
There's a Difference.

There's a Difference.
When the train pulls in and you grab
your grip.
And the hackman's there with his
frayed out whip,
You call on your man and try to be
gay,
And all you get is, Nothing doing to-
day
Then you're Pedler,
BY CAD. you're a Pedler.
When you travel along and every
things fine.
And you don't get up till half past
nine,
When you see each concern and talk
conditions,
And write it all home with many ad-
ditons.
Then you're a Travelling Man,
BY CAD, you're a Travelling Man.
When you call on your trade and they
talk "slow times"
Lower prices" and decided declines,
But you talk and you smile-make the
world look bright,
And send in your orders every blamed
night,
Then you're a Salesman,
BY CAD, you're a Salesman.