Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1916-06-07
A JEALOUS
TELEPHONE
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1916, by tho Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.


Lansing, and his deaf mother kept
house for him. In the village above
mentioned lived Ellen Wilcox with her
father and mother. Henry was twen-
ty-two years old and Ellen nineteen.
One day when Howe had sold load Of
stove wood at the Wilcox home he and
Ellen met. They looked good to each
other. Then began q courtship that
lasted almost a year. and there was
but one break In It. That was when
Ellen went to picnic which Henry
could not attend. and Henry the next
Sunday for revenge took out driving a
girl he had once kissed at huskinR.
This break in Cupid's plans listed
month, and people had begun to say
that 1t was of forever when the cou-
pie made up. The turtledoves cooed
again, and in the course of q month
they were married.
All went merrily for the next three
months, and then came a fiend in hu-
man shape. He was agent for a tele-
phone company, and he advanced about
loO reasons why Henry should install
one OF the instruments In his peaceful
home. The young bride advanced her
reasons also, and after giving a week
or two's thought to the matter Henry
ordered In the wonderful little thing.
One day a sewing machine agent
came along the road where Henry was
at work and pulled up for a talk. He
led the conversation around to that
Sunday school picnic and Henry's bug
gy ride and presently said:
did you ever see the Teller that e.
corted your wife to that picnicY"
"Why, there was no feller!' was the
surprised reply.
"Oh. wasn't there2 How q woman
can fool man! You have gone and
put in telephone. don't say that
teller Is still In the village, but IL he ia
how easy for your wife and he to have
dozen conversations day over the
wire! Have you thought of thatY'
Say, old man. don't get OF any
trash like that" cautioned the farmer:
There was no Teller, I tell you, and II
there was he did not make a mash.
Don't try to stir up any trouble here"
Oh, l am not one to stir up trou-
ble'" said the agent, and he drove along
to the house and entered it. He knew
ne could not make sale of machine.
Tor one was there already. He said
to the wife: II was one Of those who
thought you and Henry had broken or
Tor good. In fact, made bet Of SO
that he would marry the other pirl.'
Aren't you bit 1mpudent7'' queried
the young wife as she flushed up.
But l didn't mean to be, Mrs. VIII
COZ. / was just thinking how handy
that telephone was for him. Her father
also has telephone In his house. and.
II she and Henry wanted to talk, there
you are. He could slip in here dozen
times day, and II he didn't talk too
loud you could not hear him from your
work In the Kitchen"
IF you have no other errand Won had
better drive along" was the quiet sup-
gestion.
Henry did not tell her that he had
seen the agent that day, and she did
not tell Henry that she had seen him
either.
Despite the way they had answered.
MIN he had planted seed Of distrust
and Jealousy which presently took root
Henry took his mother out to the
barn, where his shouts In her ear
would not reach the wife in the house.
and told her to keep count every day
OF the times his wife used the tele.
phone. The wife managed to hang
around every time Ellen was telephon-
Ing, and she strained her ears to hear
every word.
One day there was a ring, and Henry
was called for. He had just come up
from the field and made an excuse
that he wanted drink of water. He
rushed for the telephone. and the wife
rushed after him. She could not hear
what was said by the other party, but
she thought there was a blush on his
face as he answered. After a talk Of
Two minutes he replied to the .other
party that he would be there about 8
O'Clock In the evening. This was alto
gether too bold. She was being hu-
inflated In her own house Henry
was wearing his hat. She cuffed it
off his head and blazed forth:
Henry Howe, II you are going to
see that girl this evening will follow
you every step Of the way, and ! will
pull every hair out Of her head!"
"You had better stay home and talk
over the wire to the Teller who escorted
you to the Sunday school picnic!" he
'retorted.
Taunts were flying back and forth
when a thunderstorm that had been
gathering for the last hour suddenly
broke, and a thunderbolt instead Of
striking the barn made straight wake
Tor the house. It knocked about hun.
dred shingles of the roof, wrecked a
bedstead upstairs and then tore that
telephone out by the roots and pros
trated man and wife and mother. It
did not seriously injure them, and in
half an hour they were able to sit up
and smell the birthstone and survey
the desolation.
"Good!' exclaimed Henry as he
pointed to the telephone lying on the
floor.
"Goodr' added his wife as she also
sawit
"You never went with a Teller to the
picnic!''
"And you don't care two cents about
that freckled face girl!'
Thot tn1nvo1>1~~ 80