The Monticellonian., 1916-12-07

sold out and they said he was Il liar.
The Explorers Union Local No. l
gives dinner to him-not the box
office man but Mr.. Roosevelt. and he
makes an after dinner speech Copy
right T. Roosevelt, 1916 about it and
realizes another 50. 500 or SO, and
that's the way 1t goes. But you take
Max Paikes which in five years tray
els 1000 miles to Mr.. Roosevelt's To-.
eco. Birsky, and what Is it? Nobody
asks him to write about it; nobody
wants him to talk about 1t, and If
somebody blows him on account of II
to a rye bread tongue sandwich and
package of all-tobacco cigarettes it
would be big already"
Evidently you seem to think that
it's a hardship that Teller should
live in the country" Birsky. said.
Did you ever think what il means TO
business man that he should be able
to raise his own vegetables"
Sure l did" Zapp replied. ut
means that he is going to eat princi
pally radishes for the whole summer
because that's the only vegetable
which business man who raises his
own vegetables could really rely upon.
Furthermore you think | am Il green
horn in the country, Birsky, but | al
ready done my twenty odd thousand
miles in round trip instalments of
II miles a day on the Long Island
Railroad, and l know the whole game
of living in the country right the way
through, from getting stuck with the
lots dOwnwards. | used to own
house at Brunswick Beach and when
l let it go to the second mortgage a
year and half after it was built
understand, it had cracks in the
walls on the second floor which If
you'd put couple of windows and a
door in 'em could of been considered
as extra masters bedrooms"
Steam heat will do that to new
house, Zapp," Birsky said. Maybe
You kept the place too warm"
TOO warm !" Zapp exclaimed.
Listen, Birsky, the heating plant of
that house wasn't designed for Moth
ing bigger than five dollar year
safe deposit box. With the furnace
going full on, Birslly, whenever my
wife opened the refrigerator door. Biz
sky, it raised the temperature of the
kitchen ten degrees. The plumbing
was nothing extra neither. We had
a gas heater for the hot water Bir-
sky which, figuring at the rate of
$50 per thousand cubic feet, if you
took six hot baths ii was the equiva-
lent of a suit of clothes. For years in
New York I tried to bring myself to
take a cold plunge in the morning,
but I couldn't stand the shock till
seen my first months gas bill out in
Brunswick Beach and after that all
/ had to do when | jumped into a cold
bath was to think how many cubic
feet | was saving, and if 1t was six
below zero even | got a pleasant glow
all over Later on it got to be such
a habit with me to take cold plunges
Birsky, that the second summer we
was there when they had that bad
water famine on Long Island, | used
bottled water as long as | could get
the spring water companies to send
me trial samples. For over n month
there we done the weeks washing
with artificial vichy and my wife had
to get rid of the wash lady because
for every siphon she put in the tubs
she drank one herself"
you were lucky it was only viehp
Zapp" Birsky said. 1T might hive
been ginger ale or root beer, in which
case she would of took it home to the
children"
Joke if YOU want to- Birsky." Zapp
retorted. but what I am telling you
now is facts from living in the coun-
try"
Rats, zappw Birsky said you
could have shortage of water in the
city just so much as in the country
Just because you didn't like Bruins