The Tomahawk., 1916-11-23


for many reasons, fortunate man.
For many other reasons he was not.
He was chiefly fortunate in being, as
certain opponents often strove Wither-
ingly to designate him, "the son of his
father" since that sound old gentle
man was the wealthiest farmer in that
section, with but one son and heir to
supplant him, in time, in the role or
county god," and haply perpetuate
the prouder title of "the biggest tax
payer on the assessment list" And
this fact, too, fortunate as it would
seem, was doubtless the indirect occa-
sion of a liberal percentage OF all
Johns misfortunes. From his earliest
school days in the little town, up to
his tardy graduation from distant
college, the influence Of his fathers
wealth invited his procrastination, hui
mored it's results, encouraged the lax
ity of his ambition, "and even now"
as John used, in bitter irony, to put it,
lit is aiding and abetting me in the
ostensible practice of my chosen pro-
fession, q listless, aimleSS undeter-
mined man Of forty, and a confirmed
bachelor at that" At the utterance
of his self-depreciating statement,
John generally jerked his legs down
from the top Of his desk; and rising
and kicking his chair back to the wall
he would stump around his Uttered Of
flee till the manila carpet steamed
with dust. Then he would wildly
break away, seeking refuge either in
the open street, or in his room at the
old-time tavern. The Eagle house,
where" he would say, II have lodged
and boarded, do solemnly asseverate,
for a long, unbroken, middle-aged eter-
nifty of ten years, and can yet assert,
in the words Of the more fortunately
dying Webster, that Il still liver"
Extravagantly satirical as he was at
times, John had always an indetinable
drollery about him that made him
agreeable company to his friends, at
least: and such an admiring friend he
had constantly at hand In the person
of Bert Haines. Both were BOhemians
in natural tendency, and, though John
was far in Bert's advance in point OF
age. he found the young man "just the
while Bert, in turn, held his senior In
profound esteem-lOoked up to him, in
fact, and even in his eccentricities
str0ve to pattern himself after him.
And so it was, when summer days
were dull and tedious, these two could
muse and dOze the hours away to-
gether; and when the nights were
long, and dark, and deep, and beautl-
full they could drift out in the noon
light of the stars, and with "the soft
complaining flute" and "warbling lutte"
clay the pipes" as John would say, for
their enduring popularity with the
girls! And it was immediately sub
sequent to one of these romantic ex-
cursiOns, when the belated pair, at two
o'clock in the morning, had skulked
up side stairway of the old hotel,
and gained Johns room, with nothing
more serious happening than Bert fall
ing over trunk and smashing his
guitar-iuSt after such Il night Of ro-
nance and adventure it was that, In
the seclusion Of Johns room. Bert had
something of especial import to COM
municate.
MACK" he said, as that worthy
mathematical spiteful match. and
then sucked his finger.
"Blast the alfred old torch" said
John, wrestling with the lamp-flue, and
turning on welcome flame at last.
'Well, you said Mack! Why don't you
go on? And don't bawl at the top Of
your lungs, either. You've already Sue
ceeded in waking every boarder in the
house with that guitar, and you want
to make amends now by letting them
go to slecep again!"
"But my dear fellow" said Bert with
forced calmress, "you're the fellow
that's making all the noiSe-and-"
"Why, you bowling dervsh!' inter-
rupted John, with a feigned air OF
pleased surprise and admiration. "But
let's drop controversy. Throw the
fragments of your guitar in the wood
box there, and proceed with the open
ing proposition"
'What was going to say was this"
said Bert, with half-desperate enun-
citation; "Tm getting tired of this way
of living - clean, dead-tired, and
ragged OUT, ana SICK Oh Tile Wiole aiIi-
fetal business -
"Oh, yes!" exclaimed John, with
>wering disdain, "you needn't go any
further! I know just what malady is
throttling you. It's reforln-reforln
You're going to turn over new leaf
and all that, and sign the pledge, and
quit cigars, and go to work, and pay
your debts, and gravitate back into
Sunday-school, where you can make
love to the preachers daughter under
the guise of religion, and desecrate
the sanctity of the innermost pale of
the church by confessions at class Of
your thorough conversionv Oh, you're
going to"
''No but I'm going to do nothing Of
the Sort" interrupted Bert resentfully.