davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-10-26
Here's Some Cheap Dirt for You

No 4. G. so acres 1-2 miles southeast of
Macksburg, just across the Madison Co. line,
55 acres in one field OF corn. The very best of
soil, lays gently rolling, just enough to drain
we'll with no overflow land. Only been broken
three years. Was blue grass pasture and good
for go bushels of corn to the acre for the next
6years About 20 acres open timber pasture
could be put under pillow at small expense. No
brush, good room house, new barn cement
cave plenty of shade and post timber. School
house corner of farm.
Price 1925 an and can be handled with
$500 or less if buyer has some stock and just a
little pep. This is splendid chance to own a
good farm at price that will make money and
on terms most anyone can meet.
Eighty Acres Near Atlantic
No. l. B. One of the best sos in Cass Co. 3 1-2
miles north of Atlantic ALI pillow land lays
fne has new house, barn, and is very desir-
able home. 80 rods to school, on best road in
county. Small branch in pasture always has
running water. Everything this place is
in No. shape and the price is S1S5 per acre.
campare this with SOS costing from 5000 to $3.50
and then buy it quick. Owner will leave
$4,000 at per cent for years if wanted.
Fine Income Property, Will Take Extra
Property in Exchange
No. L. G. One of the best income properties
in Atlantic for the price. Three houses with
lot 90. by 100, feet only one block from the
two main corners in the city.
Pavement paid on both streets, and all houses
rented. Income $4,000 per month.
This will pay better than s per cent on the
investment and this cornor should double in
value in the next 5 years. Price $4,000
Owner will take Extra property in exchange
on this at right value or sell with reasonable
payment down and give easy terms on balance
Quarter Section Near Hancock Take Smaller
Farm In Exchange
No 2 B. 100 acres miles from Hancock, l6
miles from Atlantic, good improvements extra
we'll fenced, running water On farm besides
two good wells. Buildings all newly painted
school 800 feet from house, farm all seeded to
timothy, clover and alfalfa. Good neighbor-
hood, and very desirable home. Price $3.50
per acre on very easy terms. Owner will con-
slider smaller farm in exchange if not too far
from good town in corn belt.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-10-26

Miss Lou Knox is entertaining
her friend, who was formerly Miss
Lena Abbott of Council Bluffs. She
arrived here Saturday
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-10-26
FOR SALE

An extra large heating stove to
burn soft coal or wood, first class
condition and will be sold at a
Bargain. Enquire at this office 1T
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-10-26
Los |

Lost near or in Audubon, a black
leather handbag, containing a silver
watch engraved e. r. X. in back
besides other things bearing owners
name. Finder please leave at Jour
nal office.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-10-26
Ms |

Chester White Hog, weight a
bout ESQ pounds notify.
2wks. P. J. Kommes, R
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
Encourage Savings in Alabama

Alabama is the only state in the union which dscrimnates
against savings deposors in the liquidation of state bank
which has failed
Statistics show that since the creation of the state banking
department not single cent has been paid to savings
deposor of state bank which has failed Under consttu
ton all other accounts have preference and the money al
ways exhaused before the savings depostor is reached
This is grotesque archaic preposerous situation. 1t
Aabamas duty to encourage savings accounts They rep
resent for the most part the accmuaons of and
widows and orphans the very class of people least able
tect themselves
On November Z amendment to the constitution will be
submitted to the voters which puts savings depostors
banks the footing other depostor This amendment
ought to have the support of every elector.
Alabama will be the great deserves to be until
her people accumulate savings Thrift should be encouraged
possible way Voters should hasten to remove the great
est handicap that could possibly be placed upon saving by
adopting the amendment which will give savings depositos at
least an chance in of bank trouble
The present organic law provision is stigma upon the state
at home and abroad Let's by overwhelming vote
in favor of the savings bank amendment
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

Maybe it is a good thing that women do
not chew tobacco They wear their waists
so low that their chests would always
look freckled.
Before you get her she always mas
something she wants to talk to you
| about. But after you get her she always
wants to talk to you about something
she hasn't got
| No small boy and no married man is
i as disobedient as he would like to be-
| The reason why some men do not take
care of themselves is because they inn
| agine that if they do get sick they can
always go and buy a bottle OF patent
medicine and get cured.
! The reason why girl hates to own
diamond ring is because II You glue
lot of feathers to a stone and throw the
stone into the air. it will fly away.
| 1t is none of our business. But we
often figure that we wouldn't have any
trouble in giving up smoking if We
smoked the kind of cigars some men do
About this time of year married man
comes home to learn from his wife thai
some little tin god in the neigh5orhood
has taken down the window screens and
put them away so his T-1e wouldn't have
! to do it herself.
4 There are volumes of relief expressed
in the grunt calculated by a corn fed girl
when she transfers her corset from her
| own back to that Of a chair.
| What has become of the ld-fasnlvned
man who always carried a match above
| his ear?
A woman likes to brag that she was the
best girl in her class when she went to
school, But man likes to brag that he
was the worst boy in his class when he
went to school,
| Some men are born foolish and others
let girl snare them into getting married
| on SIS per week
| Some women are so fat that the only
! things they can wear ready made are
hand bag and an umbrella.
| Two men met in a saloon. One had
| taken to drink because he didn't get tho
girl, and the other had taken to drink
because he did get her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
HOTEL LOBBIES
Which End of the cnddier

There is no mistaking the fact that
golf is getting more popular every
day, and numbers among it's devotees
men and women of prominence in ev-
cry section of the country" said Judge
J, ]. Banks. Il have recently returned
from Tate Spring and golf was the
all absorbing topic as there were many
ardent fans as guests. OF course, there
were others who did not play the
game One of the latter, a lady by the
way, was asked by fan if she played
golf. do not was the reply. 4 know
very little about the game; in fact, L
wouldn't know which end of the cad
die to hit"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
WAS CLEOPATRA UGLYf

From the New York World.
or undertaking the illustrious dead
there is no end. Now the numismat lists
of the. country who are in convention at
Baltimore are seeking to impugn the
beauty of Cleopatra, and they point to
her portrait on her coins as proving that
the queen who ensnared Caesar and An
tony had big ears, small eyes and a
scrawny neck. Would the fair autocrat
OF Egypt have allowed her own coinage
to malgn her charms?
Clearly the numismatists are not 100 per
cent chivalric. But as against this evil
dence there is silver coin minted at
Antioch and showing the bust of Cleopa-
ira on the diverse and that of Mark
Antony on the reverse which gives the
Queen neck by no means scrawny, full
eyes and a chin suggestive of that of our
own Goddess of Liberty, though lacking
the graceful curve. The ears are as i'm
visible as those of a modern New York
girl, and only the nose invites criticism.
1t is quite long enough to disprove Pas
calls saying that if it had been shorter
it would have changed the whole face
of the world.
The Antioch coin calls the queen "a
later goddess" Was the coiner a cour-
tier and did the official coinage more
truly depict her, in the Cromwell way,
with all the warts on?' 1t is more sat
isfactory to put the blame on rude work.
manship. If Cleopatra charms did not
"beggar all description" they must have
had some potency to make the slaves
they did.
Who will be left to us in the world s
gallery of the great and beautiful in his
tory if modern detractors of the famous
dead lln.ued to have their Way2
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
THE wIND-BARREN

John Masefeld in the October Yale Re-
view.) s.szss, vs. y, st.s,sssss
Night is on the downland. on the lonely
mooreland,
On the hills where the wind goes over
sheep bitten turf.
Where the bent grass beats upon the un-
ploughed portland .
And the pine woods roar like the surf.
Here the Roman lived on the wind-bar-
rem lonely, Il,
Dark now and haunted by the moorland
fowl;
None goes there now but the peewit only.
And moth-like death in the owl.
Beauty was here. on this beetle-droning
downland;
The thought OF a Caesar in the purple
came
From the palace by the Tiber in the Ro-
man townland
To this wind-swept hill with no name.
Lonely Beauty came here and was here
in sadness.
Brave as a thought on the frontier of the
mind, N
In the camp Of the wild upon the march
of madness,
The bright-eyed Queen of the blind.
Now where Beauty was are the wind
wthered gorses
Moaning like old men in the hill-wind's
BLAST
The flying sky is dark with runninSs
horses
And the night is full Of the past
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29


Lady st. Heller, in Harper's Magazine
for October.
1t has always been accepted as fact
that Lord Kitchener was woman-hater;
on that point one opinion is worth as
much as another. His principal friends
were undoubtedly men, but he had real
regard and friendship for a few women.
and they on their part recognized and
reciprocated the chivalrous attitude he
adopted toward them. His profession and
career were what he lived for, and ,hey
hlled his life, and as his responsibilities
and power increase he thought of moth
ing else; every other consideration was
subordinated to whatever task he had
undertaken.
The fact that he had only bach lors on
his staff gave color to the story. He did
not think that soldier on active service
should be married, because no one with
home ties and RESPONSE pilities could fail
to have anxieties which might prevent his
exclusive devotion being given to his pro-
fession; but though one of his staff dis
regarded the edict, and Lord Kitchener
regretted it, it made no difference either
to the confidence he continued to give
him or in the whole-hearted service lie
gave to his chief.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
Water and Work

81 heard story the other day about
the man who had always regarded water
with opprobrium, but never knew the ex
act reason why said Monte Semon, man
ager of the Lyric. THE story goes that a
tramp who had wandered all over the
globe for a number of years. suddenly
became imbued with a desire to learn
how to read and write. Hen accordingly
went about his studies in a very earnest
manner and at the conclusion of a short
time was able to read and write.
After a time he resumed his habit of
riding the bumpers, on top, the side door
or any other place that was handy as
a means Of riding the trains without the
use of money. He was thrown off the
train at way station the first day he
resumed his travels. Upon looking up he
saw a large sign in the distance which
read 'Waterworks.' BY George said the
gentleman of leisure, Now that l know
how to read and write l realize why 1
always hated the darn stuff.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
srEvENsoN's HOME AT sILvERADo


From I'm California with Robert Louis
Stevenson" by Nellie Van de Gfift
Sanchez, in the October Scribner.
We climbed, by way of a toilsome and
stiflingly hot foot-path running through
a tangle of thick underground, to the old
Silverado mine bunk house, where The
Stevenson family took up their quarters.
People said there were many rattlesnakes
about, and we now and then saw induEi-
table evidence of their presence in a long,
spotted body lying in the road where
some passerby had killed it, but fear of
them never trouble our footsteps In
1.-THE Silverado Squatters" Mr.. Stevenson
says, THE place abounded with rattle
snakes and the rattles whizzed
on every side like spinning wheels" but
am inclined to think that he often mis-
took the buzzing noise made by locusts,
which abounded thereabout, for the Tat-
tie of the snakes. The old clubhouse
seemed to me an incredibly uncomforta-
BILE place of residence. It's situation, on
top of the mine dump piled against the
precipitous mountainside, permitted no
chance to take a step except upon the
treacherous rolling stones of the dump;
but we bore with it's manifest dsadvan--
tages for the sake of it's one high re-
deeming virtue, it's entire freedom from
the chilling fog which we dreaded for
the sick man. 1t was excessively hot
there during the day, but there was al
ways one place where GOODNESS held sway
the mouth of the old tunnel, from
whose dark, mysterious depths, which
we never dared explose for fear of step
ping off into some forgotten shaft, a
cold, damp, wind blew continuously. Just
inside it's entrance we esta blished cold
storage plant, for there all articles kept
delightfully."- fresh in the hottest weather.
When the freshness of the evening fell
it was good to gather stones and send
them crashing down the chute" and in.
deed this was almost our only pastime in
our queer mountain eyrie. The noise
pleased us to liken it to the noise heard
by Rip Van Wrinkle. like distant peals
of thunder made by the ghosts of Hen
drick Hudsons men playing at ninepins
in the Catskill mountains
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
The viIeness of SANDER


Some people of good repute and who
hold honorable positions get them
selves and others in very awkward po-
sitions som times by giving currency
to false runors without investigating
the truth of such reports" said CHIEF
of Detectives T. j. Shirley.
Some get in the habit of jumping
at conclusions and often are reckless
in making statements which, when
pressed for their authority, it is found
that they are really the sole Original
tors Of such statement. This is the
way false impressions are made. And
many good men and women have had
their regulations damaged on account
of having a neighbor of this kind who
ISLANDERS those they do not know,
branding them as bad when they are
generally much better citizens than
those who give currency to the SLAM
der.
1.-THE detective department is almost
daily called upon to investigate par
ties who have recently moved into new
neighborhoods on the theory that the
neighbors have bad regulations. On
investigation they are often found to
be upright, honorable citizens. Just
been slandered by some reckless per-
son and currency given statements
made without a semblance OF truth.
These calumnies cause many innocent
people TO suffer untold damage to their
regulations
Character is about all some of us
have, and it is an awful thing to
stain ones reputation and assassinate
his character. Did you ever think
of it?"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
A BACK NUMBER.

rs it true that Cleopatra was not as
beautiful as we have been led to sup
poser" asked the studious young man.
How do 1 know" answered the frac-
tious old gentleman. "I get tired enough
of hearing the members of nv family
arguing about who is the most beautiful
into the discussion a woman who has
been dead 1915 years"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
CoId Menthnr rIshermnn

Fishing gives me more recreation
than any other sport, said s. w.
Woodin. local undertaken, yesterday.
II went to Taylors ferry early yes
terday morning with fishing party
and in a few hours time we returned
with over 100 large fish. Taylor's
ferry is one of the best places that
have been this year for fishing
Il am not like the ordinary fish
erman who prefers the summertime for
fishing, but give me a cold day for
fishing and I can catch more fish than
any summer fisherman that know off,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
A STAGE ROMANCE.

He married a classic dancer, you
say?"
yes. He won her by persistently run
ming after her."
Tell me the particulars"
while she did Marathon around the
stage with a wreath of roses, he was one
of a crowd of Greek youths who followed
her."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29

BEGINNING THE DAX-Help me
in my business today, Lord. "iNe
me armness without unkindness, re-
sourcefuIness without dishonesty
ambition without avartce, earnest
ness without anxiety. May reJoice
in the privilege of work. May seer
contentment rather than great gam
May 1 do all after counsel win my
senior partner, God. In
name. Amen.-H. NJ. 10.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
Football Rules

1.-The football rules for 1916 are almost
unchanged said j. S. Counselman, who
has contributed several features to the
present code in previous years. THE
rules committee seems to be content with
the present gridiron laws, but has de.
voted sometime in making them clearer
The most prominent feature of the
new rule book is the preface, in which
the rules committee devotes several pages
to it's request for better sportmanship on
the part of the players toward the Of
ficials. The committee urges coaches to
aid in the strict enforcement of the rules,
and to cease the habit of making their
men referee and umpire baters.
Il expect to see many fine games this
season, for, as usual, 1 shall serve as
an official in many battles, some OF
which will be played in Birmingham"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
IN LUCK.

I'm LUCK. ft
An heiress wed
A nobleman;
He wanted wealth.
That was his plan.
She wished to be
A titled dame,
So made the pact
And showed no shame.
The marriage brought
Her happiness,
And that strikes you
AS strange, we guess.
In thinking thus,
No doubt, you're right.
1t changed this way
The ducal wight,
When starting on
His honeymoon,
Received a stroke,
Fell in a swoon
And straightway died.
The bride was free,
And yet a titled
Dame was she.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
FORTUNES FAvoR1TEs.

Don't tell me that luck doesn't play
II guess that's So"
"Of course it is. Look at the fellows
who happen to own jitney buses in a
town where there is a street car strike"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
ALABAMA PRESS

Gadsden Times-News: Hughes voted
against woman suffrage in New York
and Wilson voted for it in New Jersey,
yet Hughes tells US to judge man by
his acts instead of his words.
Montgomery Advertiser: We are much
obliged to President Wilson for his kind
words about the morning paper. "A few
years ago." he says, American business
men-I think you will corroborate this
statement-took up their morning paper
with some degree of nervousness to see
what the government was doing to them
ask you if you take up the morning
papers now with any degree of nervous
ness?" The President seems to take it
for granted that most people read morn
ing papers.
Talladega Home: 1t is reported that
General Trevino is to lose his job for
letting Villa defeat him. If that's the
way of it, give that outlaw anything like
enough men and supplies, and several
generals will be out of jobs.
Mobile Register: Wonder what an old
express stage coacn man, whose DoaSted
speed was about seven miles an hour,
would say if alive now and were told that
the road between Springville and Alfalfa
is "a disgrace to civilization" because
an autoist took up two hours in travers-
ing 80 miles Of it? The opinion of what
constitutes a road has changed as well
as the method of travelling on it.
Tuscaloosa News If the International
Stewards association carries out it's reso-
luton to shake off the foreign yoke and
to print menu cards in English, how in
the world are they going to work off on
unsuspecting customers lots of the junk
that they now get rid of under some high
sounding French name?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
UNREASONABLE REQUEST.

UNREASONABLE REQUEST.
Another scheme for amelioratins
prison life has gone to smash
How SOP
"a human person suggested that every
inmate of a certain prison be allowed to
keep a pet in his CELL"
"Well?" a s
"a burglar named Micky Flynn wanted
a goat
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
WORD TO THE WISE

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
The two ex-Presidents will shake hands
and call off the old feud in a few days
To Mr.. Taft we would say in admoniton:
Brother, slip a wide cut of sheet iron
under the front part of your shirt. The
short rib and solar plexus are treasures
that should not be emasculated, especially
in the case of fat men.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
Purchase Stock

II. ]. Porter has left for Chicago and
New York to purchase more stock for
immediate needs and to place orders for
spring stocks. by keeping in very close
touch with the unusual market conditions
and buying early we shall be able to
maintain our strict standard of quality
without materially advancing prices" said
Mr.. Porter
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
GENERAL WORK.

GEN EhAA WOfth
IT hear DR.. Dubson has gone in for up
lift work..
so he has"
"Does he specialize?"
mo. He seems determined to make
all classes of society as uncomfortable
as possible"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
STRICTLY MODERN.

STRICTLY MODERN.
A modern girl in every way,
Is Duxom Betsy Bang,
She spends a part of every day
In learning some new slang.
youngstown Telegram.
A modern girl and very gay,
Is Rhoda Retta Rose,
She studies hard to ind way
OF wearing fewer clothes.
Warren Tribune.
A4INtF ffstr
A modern maid, but rather thin,
Is flashy FANNY Fay,
Her raiment makes an awful din,
For tho quite scant, It's gay.
Sharon Herald.
A modern maid, it doth appear,
1t dainty Kitty Kerr,
Now that cold weather draweth near
She's laid aside her fur.
THE Butler Citizen.
A modern maid beyond a doubt
Is giddy Bessie Bolts;
Who's famous as a gadabout
And dances all the "trots."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29
CHANGED CONDITIONS.

ut was Alexander the Great who wepA
for more worlds to conquer"
Yes" replied the military expert
Warfare in Alexander's time was more
or less of a lark for a man fond OF
excitement and travel. Nowadays a gen
eral is apt to stare at the same hillside
from one years end to another.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-29

TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting al
departments) Main 1900.