The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1916-11-23
HOGWALLOW NEWS.
DUNK Bolts, Correspondent.

Atlas Peck. at one time favorably
mentioned as candidate for delegate
at large to the Methodist district con-
ference at Tickville, has decided to
direct his ambition into more profit
able channel, and is about to announce
himself candidate for the office of
Coroner. He will make an ideal candi-
date having all the qualifications for
such-a fondness for shaking hands
with people and smiling at people he
does not like; and lastly as strong ina
glnation- and he will be kept in the
race by the large number of voters he
imagines he will get. While Atlas is
not at present what you might call one
OF our most prominent citizens, he
stands in line to rank as such if he sue
ceeds in landing the office. He lays
considerable stress upon his connection
with the Dog Hill church. He is
musician of no mean ability. playing
the tuning fork during the singing ex-
ercises. While making up his mind to
run. Atlas will sit in a deep study on a
stump near the Postofice, where he
may be approached, solicited and close
lY inspected.
He has taken part in many funeral
/ professions. He has also served on
many coroner's juries and by the close
application has become an able jurist,
therefore he feels that he is thoroughly
able to handle any case, deciding in
each instance whether or not the defen-
dant is dead without the aid of expense
of jury.
| The postmaster has received notice
from the government that he must keep
the office in a most sanitary condition.
He says when man has been on the
Job as long as he has he does not have
to listen to those higher up.
A flock of wild geese spent Monday
at lobe Moseley's pond. They are on
the way south to spend the winter
lobe saws they appeared much benefit
ed by their stay in the North
The Excelsior Fiddling Band walked
itself almost down last week trying to
learn to play a march.
/ The barber at Tickville still cuts hair
on Saturdays. But before entering up
on job he takes the precaution to
place tenders over the customers ears.
Atlas Peck has taken advantage of
the fall weather by filing a lot of jugs
with cool air which he will turn loose
around next summer when such air gets
scarse.
If people would quit drowning young
kittens by the sackful the rat trap
factories would have to go out of busl-
ness.
Miss RosYola Moseley was overcome
with emotion one day last week while
composing sentimental poems.
An unknown photographer was in our
midst last week and took Frisby Han
cocks picture and his best mule.
Miss Fruze Allsop is working night
and day on home talent play to be
staged at the Wild Onion school house
in the intensely anticipated future.
The play has eight acts and the title of
it is Resolved, Why Did the Robin
Drive the Little Ones from home"
1t is always darkest jest before Sid
ney Hooks lights his lantern.
Miss Flute Belcher is again being
bothered by the attentions of Raj Bar
low. She has read several novels and
finds that Raj is not the type of man
she could love with true devotion. Raj
says he does not keep up with the books
much, but he believes that if he keeps
on.he can get her. Washington Hooks,
who is getting along in years, has had
lots of experiences, and he believes
most any fellow can win a woman If he
keeps insisting, even if she does not
like him clear on to the time she de-
cides to change her mind.