The Tomahawk. [volume] (White Earth, Becker County, Minn.) 1903-192?, 1916-12-14
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bv JAMES WA|7QOMB RILEY
Il

or just enough tightly iuu ueulth VI
the same to be an ordinary county seat
in Indiana-"the grand old Hoosier
state" as it was used to being howl
ingly referred to by the forensic stump
orator from the old stand in the court
house yard-a political campaign be-
ing the widest delight that Zekesbury
might ever hope to call it's own.
Through years the fitful happenings
of the town and it's vicinity went on
the same-the same! Annually about
one circus ventured in, and vanished,
and was gone, even as a passing truln-
pet-blast; the usual rainy season
swelled the "crick," the driftage chOk-
ing all "the covered BRIDGE" and back
ing water till the old road looked am
phibious; and crowds of curious town.
folk struggled down tc look upon the
watery wonder, and lean awestruck
above it, and spit in it, and turn mute
ly home again.
u The usual formula of incidents Pc
culiar to an uneventful town and it's
vicinity: The countryman from "Jes-
sup's Crossing" with the corn
stalk coffin measure, lOpel into town,
his Steaming little gray-and-red-necked
''roadster" gurgitating, as it were, with
that mysterious utterance that ever has
commanded and ever must evoke the
wonder and bewilderment of every
boy; the smallpox rumor became pre-
valent Eetimes, and the subtle aroma
of the asafetida bag permeated the
graded schools "from turret to founda-
ton stone;' the still recurring expose
of the poorhOuse management; the
shoulder, struck dead by lightning; the
lOng-drawn quarrel between the rival
editors eliminating in one Of them
assaulting the other with a ''sidcstick,"
and the other kicking the one down.
stairs and thenceward ad libitum; the
tramp, suppOsitiously stealing ride,
found dead on the railroad the grand
jury returning sensational indict-
inent against bartender non est; the
temperance outbreak; the REVIVAL"
the church festival; the Free Lee
lures on Phrenology, and Marvels Of
Mesmerism," at the town hall. 1t
was during the time OF the last-men-
toned sensation, and directly through
this scientific investigation, that I
came upon two Of the towns most re-
markabIe characters. And however
meager my outline of them may prove,
my material for the sketch is most ac-
curate in every detail, and no devia-
ton from the cold facts Of the case
shall influence any line of my report.
For some years prior to this odd ex-
periencc had been connected with
daily paper at the state capital; and
1utterly prolonged session Of the leg
islature, where I specially reported.
having told threateningly upon my
health, took both the advantage of
n brief vacation, and then the invita-
ton of n young bachelor senator, to
get out of the city for while and
bask my respiratory organs in the
revivifying rural air Of Zekesbury-
the home Of my new friend.
It'll pay you to get out here" he
said cordially. meeting me as The lit
tie station, "ard I'm glad you've come,
for you'll find no end Of odd char
acters to amuse YOU" And under the
very pleasant sponsorship of my SEN
atorial friend, was placed at once on
genial terms with half the citizens Of
the little town-from the shirt-Sleeved
nabOb of the county office to the drOll
wag Of the favOrite loafing place-t'D
rules and bylaws Of which resort, by
the way, being rudely charcoaled on
the wall above the cutters bench. and
somewhat artistically eliminating in
an original dialect legend which ran
thus:
CTR instance, now, when some folks
gifts
To relyin' on theyr wits,
Ten to one they git too smart
And Spite it all, right at the start!
Feller wants to jest go slow
And do his thinkin first, you know.
r I can't think up somepin good,
I set still and chaw my Good!
And it was at this inviting rendez-
vous, two or three evenings follow
ing my arrival, that the general crowd,
acting upon the random proposition of
one of the boys, rose as a man and
wendell it's hilarious way to the town
hall.
"Phrenology," said the little, old,
bald-headed lecturer and mcs!lerist,
thumbing the egg-shaped head of
young man remembered to have met
that afternoon in some law office;
chronology" repeated the professor
cor rather, the term phrenolOgy-is de-
rived from two Greek words signifying
mind and discourse; hence we find en-
bodied in chronology proper. the sci
ence of intellectual measurement, to-
gether with the capacity Of intelligent
communication of the varying mental
forces and their inf1exibilities, ETC., etc.
The study, then, of phrenology is, to
simplify it wholly-is, say, the gen.
eral contemplation Of the workings
of the mind as made manifest through
tho oarfo;p oorroSpOn1iDr doDraSSinrS