davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
From the London Telegraph.

From the London Telegraph.
81 MONG all the laughing, smoking
~ chatting. CHEEKY thousands OF
q - wounded men have seen land In
England from the front I have now met
one who was sad
This was a company commander. with
shrapnel wounds in hip and ankle. The
sector of new line that this captain
company held northeast of Bazentin-le-
Petit and near the High wood, was
most furiously counter attacked by the
Huns, after an intense bombardment.
The third and fourth and fifth waves
of the attack were broken by the COM
pany's trench fire. which included Lewis
guns handled to the best possible ad-
vantage.
But still the Boches came streaming
on: and accordingly, the company rose
out of their shallow trench, and rushed
forward a bit to welcome the invader
having learned on more than one &C.
casion during the preceding week Just
how little the Hun likes the steel
In that advance the captain was struck
down. AS he lay helpless on the ground
he saw plainly that the enemy's charge
was broken, and he ordered his company
back to their trench to save casualties
He yelled to his men to get back. and
he sent a young lance corporal (who had
only earned his stripes during that same
weekly to ram the order nome. So the
defenders streamed back leaving clear
field for the Lewis guns again
Just then the captain saw two things.
He saw four struggling Boches approach
ing him where he lay. and he saw tne
young lance corporal deliberately return,
ing to him from the trench. The Bocnes
had doubtless recoknized his uniform
ana were anxious to kill or capture Q
captain. The young lance corporal was
coming on slowly and steadily IKE
man drawn irreslstibly BY some kind o.
fascination.
Get back to the trench. man; gel
back.' shouted the captain.
One Of the Boches dropped on his KNEE
to fire. The lance corporal came stead
| lily on.
go back" shouted the captain. al
sternly as he could. "D'you hear me
corporal? That's an order. Go back. OF
Urn put you under arrest. Damn you
go back!"
The kneeling Boche fired twice, ant
missed. The lance corporal-no NOR
| than boy in years-looked back ant
forward. He had his orders. and was
well disciplined. good lad, It was a
though the sharp order had place.
weights about his feet. So he swayed
Then he gave one look at his captain
you know the way your favorite dol
looks at you ii you order him back honi
when perhaps you've gun under you
srm? And. In defiance Of the disciprA
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
AT A SOLDIERS BUFFET

under the counter quite unnecessarily
and to wipe away two big, hot splashes
on my face.
Big, simple, lovable men from all parts
of the country, fresh from the trenches
for the most part, with the mud of
France and Flanders thick upon their
faces, but with the light Of the sheer
Joy of life blazing in their laughing eyes.
It's privilege to be allowed to do some
thing for Tommy. and also for Jack
when he occasionally visits u.s. and every
one who helps the buffet in the tiniest
way is sharing the privilege.
We never shut up shop, day or night.
Cakes, hot drinks, sandwiches, cigarettes
all these we dispense freely to the boys
who come by the one train per day. There
is usually about 1000 of them. tired, glad
to be home again for even a few hours.
Most of them haven't eaten or drank
forea full day. to these especially the
buffet is veritable godsend, even whep
they imagine that the usual charges are
to be made.
"A cup O. something 'ot for Bill miss.
an one o. them delooshus sangwidges,"
said an old customer the other day Els
a shy, e is. Yer wouldn't think as 'ow
ED got D. C. NJ, would yer?"
And certainly Bill gives one the Inn
preston that he'd rather face an en-.
masse charge of Germans than Wee Red
Cross girl armed with tea and cake
There is one little memory I have of 2
soldier boy who come to us when we
first opened the buffet.
II shall tell my home folks about this,
he declared And he almost swore-he
would have done SO had we been men,
do believe-when we wouldn't let him put
a shilling in the collecting box.
And every week, from the wilds OF tho
far north of Scotland there comes
postal order for sixpence from his poor
rnother-who has given her all, her son.
to the country-and a slip Of paper in
scribed "A Widows mite, for cup OF
tea for a soldier laddie."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
A SOLDIERS SACRIFICE

which made an order tug at his feot, the
boy strobe on again towards his cap
tain, glancing from the Boches to his Of
ficer. as though measuring his chances.
The captain managed to level his re-
volver. ut was worth q bluff to try and
get the fellow back"
by God, corporal. TIL put bullet
through you If you don't go backl"
And at that the lance corporal broke
into a run-but towards his fallen Of
ficer; not the trench. He fell. with
bullet through his heart. within three
PAGES of his captain. Two Bosches were
ON their knees firing at him then. The
other two were advancing. crouchingly,
on the captain. The captain had not yet
used a round from his revolver, SO he
turned that now on the advancing
Boches. But at that moment Lewis
gun in our trench. firing high, opened
on that bit Of No Mans Land. The IN
cident had been seen evidently. The fire
was much too high to hurt anyone
really; for the gunners feared to hit their
own officer. But the Boches did not un-
derstand that. Their gunners are a good
deal less particular So they turned tall
and ran hard for their own trenches.
while the captain, having emptied his re-
yolver at them, lost consciousness. and
knew nothing more Of the business till
he found himself in our trench dressingQ
station.
And now the captain finds it hard to
forget the solemn, puzzled face of the
young lance corporal, who so deliberately
chose to give up his life for his officer.
But told the captain he must be very
proud of that young lance corporal; not
sad about him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
LUKE M,LuKE SAYS
Copyright 1916, by the Cincinnati ]

Copyright, 1916, by the Cincinnati En-
quirer.)
You can't make an old-fashioned wom-
an believe that a bunch of grease and a
flannel rag are not better safeguards
against pneumonia than Is an open bed
room window.
Speaking Of love letters, there are few
OF them that are as we'll loved as is the
capital II"
If you really want to do something to
make other people happy you might start
in by minding your own business and let
ting them alone.
Nature is mean cuss. Why can't she
be more liberal with dimples and not SO
doggone liberal with pimples?
There are some married men whose idea
of six-cylinder hypocrite is henpecked
husband who is offering congratulations
to bride and groom.
Some things may not be as broad as
they are long. But it is different with q
fat woman.
Some of the loudest takers when they
are down town are the married men who
are nothing but good listeners when they
are at home. ~
We ran into the champion tightwad the
other day. He was complaining because
the penny is the smallest coin in circula.
ton in this country.
Once In a while you will find a man
who never heard of the word Enough
| Any woman can keep a secret if yor
will permit her to let a dozen Other
women help her to keep it.
| Somehow or other it always seemed Il
us that a lawyer has about a hundre,
more law books than he will ever use.
What has become of the old-fashionet
man who wore earrings because he i'm
agined they improved his eyesight?
1t is mean thing to say. But it is ,
fact that a whole lot of love affairs en-
| at the altar
We all know that there is lot of credi
4 due us. But we'd rather have the CASH
And, even If tire mirror does convinc
a woman that she isn't beautiful it can
convince her that she hasn't lovely FIG
ure
I What has become of the old ia shione
| woman who used to throw her husband
socks out on the back porch before sll
went to bed IT night?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
AND THEY COME BACK

From the Kansas City Times.
After two weeks studyin' Imogene's
three-year-old man child" writes Aunt
Mandy to the Paris Mercury. II have
give UP all my notions about sex equal
ity. Sary's little gal comes over ever
day to play an the same thing happens
without fail He'll grab her an kiss
her an hug her in spite NV all we kin
do. and. If she cries. pushes her over
and sets down on her face Gal-like. she
comes back ever mornin', an she bein' a
grown woman an married at that I
looked at her in amezement. Grow out
NV iii? avs I. He'll grow into more
ever day he lives an you jes as well
make up your mind to 1t. Man born Wv
woman is what he is an CANT be no
different 'Twixt lovin' women an beat
in 'em, he manages somehow to keep
'em comm back Wimmen was born to
be kissed an set on, l reclSin. an I'D
really ruther have 1t that way
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
NIXON TERRIToRY Gons rwEI.,

From the Providence Journal.
The official returns from the first vote
on prohibition ever taken in Yukon Ter
ritory shows narrow majority OF three
votes for the licensed hotels. which are
the only legalized form of Yukon saloon.
This means, of course, thatsAnother test
of public opinion will be demanded. at an
early day.
1t is remarkable fact that practically
without exception the mining districts
voted for prohibition. though in the IA
miliar literature of the frontier we have
been taught to believe that the saloon Is
omnipresent and Indispensable. The
miner Is portrayed as a fast and Arm
patron of the Deep Gulch bar. and whisky
appears to be more abundant than water.
But in Yukon a new breed Of abstinent
miner has arisen. II Ii sociological fact
worth noticing.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
NOT LIKELY

From Answers. London.
The excited customer rushed into the
little chemists shop.
Give me twopennyworth of ipecacr
anna. quick, and charge It up on our BILL"
Certainly, sir! Here you are! Whose
bill does it go on?''
Il live at the Rhododendrons Laurel
avenue.
Yes, sir. Name?"
III. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Here, take the bloomin' stun a. gift!
Think I'm going to waste ink and paper
In writing ipecacuanha, rhod0dendron,
and Cholmondeley- Ma rjoribanks for two
penccT'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
ABOUT THE ULMs

Liberty Otems. in Emporia Gazette.
Gertrude and Walter Ulm spent Nom
day evening with the Warrens.
Glen Ulm has been sick the past week.
Gertrude Ulm spent last week with
Mrs. Howard Evans,
Mr.. Howard Evans and daughter. Ger
true Marie. spent TUESDAY with the
Ulms.
Mrs. Lester Ulm called OIL Mrs. Fr6d
Parker Tuesday afternoon.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
A NECESSITY OF LIFE.

A poor, unhappy motorist,
In secondhand machine.
Stopped at service station once
To buy some gasoline.
And while his tank was filling up
The dealer heard him say,
"I'll have some gas but food, alas,
I'll do without today"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
THE REAL THING.

THE sincerity of this campaign orator
impresses me-"
1T would impress you still more If you
knew what I know"
We'll, what do you know"
He's paying his own expenses"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

BEGINNING THE DAH-1uioe
Thou our quick decisions, our su"-
den purposes, to Thy glory. ote
grace and poise and sweetness 10
our hard-pressed hearts. May 'he
machinery of our lives, In the Whiri
of which at times we seem 10 loso
Thee. be really driven to Ihee. A~P
Thou Thy hand upon US an"
the issue of this day be my
wilton Merle Smith. H. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

BY Goethe.
Rest is not quitting
The busy career;
Rest is the fitting
or self to ones sphere.
It's the brooks motion.
Clear without strife.
Fleeting to ocean
After its life.
It's loving and serving
The highest and best,
It's onward, unswerving
And that u true yest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
A PRACTICAL MAN.

Behold the party worker,
Who labors night and day,
And proves he's not a shirker
Just by the earnest way
In which he meets and mixes
With all his fellow men
And with a bank note fixes"
A voter. now and then.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

Dothan Eagle: Many a man makes his
gasoline tank his bank so far as having
a place to put his money is concerned.
New Decatur Advertiser: Thomas A.
Edison is to vote for President Wilson.
He has always been known as lone of
the wsest.''
Pell City Progress: What is the mat
ter with Birmingham Wilt soon take
rank with that other famous question
who hit Billy Patterson
Ashland Progress: Congressman Helm
is again expecting 20-cent cotton As an
optimist on this subject Cotton Tom
has few equals and no superiors.
Talladega Reporter; Mr.. Hughes has
the reputation of being a great lawyer,
but from the length from his chin to his
eyes, phrenologists would never think it
possible.
Decaturs Daily: Our idea of bromidic
utterance is this classic from the cam
paign speech of Charles Evans Hughes:
Il stand for all American rights and
land and sea, without fear or favor" Mr..
Hughes could have gone futher and de-
clared that he also indorses his own can
didacy and that If elected he will draw
all the salary that is coming to him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

!
Justice in the courts. Too long has
beauty in distress smiled or wept its
way to freedom simply because jurors
decline to punish personable female,
no matter what crime she has COM
mitted.
| a BULLETIN of the United States
IN public health service says:
"When man becomes greedy and takes
more ease and food and drink than is
his share, nature discards him." There
in lies the ex-
Coed Advice, But PLANTATION of the
Who Will Take 1t? fact h a t the
mortality e
among persons in the United States
over 45 years Of age is increasing.
With wealth, power and fame in his
grasp, the overfed, overworked and
under exercised captain of industry or
what not, loses his mental acuteness,
becomes physical and mental wreck
and sinks to speedy dissolution.
1t is an unpleasant picture the
health service draws, but one that will
hardly have any effect on the sort of
people who speed from the cradle to
the grave. The moderate man will read
and reflect and become more moderate
still, but those who need such advice
most will merely accelerate their pace,
hoping to reach life's goal few years
ahead of disease and death.
1t is fortunate that Congress adjourned
when it did. Dignified senator's were
growing fractions and in another week OF
| two might have been throwing ink wells
at one another.
But why should the Greek premier
waste his valuable time in comforting
with King Constantine? Nobody seems 20
care particularly what the King thinks.
~
The Germans are said to be planning
more extensive raids on London. No
matter what they do. they will never be
able to wipe tfat city off the map.
II
There are life preservers used in the
navy that will sustain about 20 men.
You will never find life preserver of
that sort on an excursion boat
y
Life OH Elephant Island had its draw
backs for Lieutenant Shackelton's follow
ers, but they were at least undisturbed
by politicians and reformers.
=
1t is claimed that the railroad crisis
has merely been postponed. Oh, well. A
crisis that has been postponed once may
be postponed again.
The Y. M C. A. is teaching young men
Spanish, but not with the idea of making
it easier for them to converse with Span
ish dancers
The French may not be regaining mueh
lost territory just now. but they are still
in position to celebrate the battle of
the Marine
The bull moose no longer dances to the
Ae
the dancing days of the bull moose are
over.
Postmaster Burleson should remember
that this is an election year and all DEM
ocratic officeholders are under fire.
Victims of automobile thieves are so
glad to get their cars back that they
forget to prosecute the offenders.
x
Just by way of variety the Teutons and
the British might stage another naval
battle in the North sea.
While Mr. Hughes hair is rather thin
on top, he's a well-thatched man COM
pared to Mr.. Bryan.
The approach Of moving day reminds
one that life to some people is just one
flat after another.
The war may or may not be the cause
of il, but there is noticeable scarcity
of organ grinders.
4
Berlin reports a shortage of food in
Petrograd, but naturally expresses no
regret.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
JUST FOR A CHANCE.

How would you like to be one of those
magazine illustrators and spend most Of
your time drawing beautiful women?"
Not for me-"
why not?"
You know something about the PERI
versity of human nature. After a rev
years of that sort of work might fal in
love with woman who was as homely
as a mud fence
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
ROOM FoR ANoTHER

From the knickerbocker Press
Now that the Redheaded league has
been organized and the Baldheaded club
Is spreading smoothly. the time is more
than ripe for the rise of the Amalga-
mated and Ossified Order of Boneheads,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
DESERVING CHARACTER.

DESERVING CHARACTER.
IT saw a rather stout person out riding
in your car yesterday afternoon who was
stranger to me. Have you relative
visiting your"
mo. That was our cook. She has the
use of our car two afternoons week.
IT would consider that downright i'm
position"
you wouldn't after you had tasted one
of her pies"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

High heaven forbid,
That kings should let their ears near
their faults hid.
.-Pericles. Prince of Tyre
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
THE RULING PASSION.

who are these gentlemen having
lunch togetherT
"A party Of scientists"
II don't suppose a low-browed indi-
vidual could understand what they are
talking about"
HE might. I overheard one of them
just now ask the waiter if there was
ball game today"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

REALISTIC TOUCH
Whats the dancer doing nowT'
She's portraying the advance of au-
tumn.'
II see. And those young women follow
ing her are, presume, milliner's assist
ants"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
ALABAMA PRESS

- Dothan Eagle: Many a man makes his
gasoline tank his bank so far as having
place to put his money Is concerned
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12
HOTEL LoBBIEs
A Live ORGANIZATION

While the Retail Furniture Dealers
association has a small membership in
comparison with some of the other civic
and commercial bodies of the city, we be-
lieve we have one of the livest organiza-
tons in Birmingham" said r. i. Spark
man, president of the association, yester-
day. "At our last meeting we received
two new members, the Haverty Furniture
company and e. E. Forbes Piano COM
pany, and we are constantly adding to the
list.
"Of course, the principal object OF the
association is commercial, yet the organ
ization never fails to join in all civic
movements. Our members are keenly in
terested In everything for the betterment
and advancement of the city and district.
and the Chamber of Commerce and the
other civic bodies know they can always
count on the furniture dealers
Selling by Telegram
The growth of the use of the telegram
and the night letter for business solici-
tation has been remarkable in the last
few years, said w. d. Stead. manager of
the Western Union company here.
Our company has just issued a booklet
entitled The Telegram In Selling which
presents few letters and copies of mes.
sages which brought splendid results
Wholesale firms, Jobbers and manufac-
turers are constantly increasing the use
of this form of solicitation.
There lis certain psychological effect
about telegram which demands atten-
ton and receives it. Any man with Zig
pile Of letters on his desk, some of which
he may be unable to reach during l'usy
day, will turn aside from his work long
enough to read and consider one of these
messages. The Birmingham office has
shown a big gain In this class of business
recently"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

the Sympathetic Jury than his re-
fusal to
drop divorce proceedings which he in
stituted after coming home one day
and finding his wife entertaining
festive bartender Women lawyers and
social workers are preparing to ask
the states attorney that Miss Pearl
M. Hart, an attorney connected with
the adult probation office, be APP
pointed a special prosecutor to see
that the alleged murderess gets her
deserts.
Miss Hart stated that she would ac-
cept the appointment. She says:
"A jury of men is reluctant to con-
vict woman prosecuted by man be-
cause the jurors seem to believe the
prisoner is at a disadvantage. Per-
haps their reluctance to convict would
disappear if the case were one wherein
! one woman was prosecuting another. :
! 1t is altogether probable that the
jury would be less susceptible to fair
defendant, particularly if, as in this
Case, the prosecutor herself were not
at all bad looking. Besides, admiration
for the prosecutors pluck would weigh
heavily against any charms the de-
PENDANT might bring into play. =
AS an experiment, it is certainly
worth trying. Equal rights as citizens
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-12

WRONG TIME o. YEAR.
That fellow seems excited about sone-
thing"
Yes. He was born In Kansas and this
is the first time he has ever seen the
ocean"
lymph! He must be stupid cuss to
wait until the bathing season is nearly
HE'S ALL RIGHT.
The high cost of living
lis causing alarm,
But not to the fellow
Who lives on a farm.
Auttaja. [volume] (Ironwood, Mich.) 1906-19??, 1916-02-24
Pybid ibtniSia on mdan-
pdaIakin.
6. u. g.

SbniiiltG fpipttGiSiG, ioSfo olpot
pDbid, mastoaipat bc talpolliiesti, cttc
ci ppbid olefoan maai pG1llG, tai.
iuaaSia masta pbbi1 olloan. ltiiam,
mot pitGpGt plan pilffono. Jos jpfl
tobtii t~lnnuStoa oleiponio ppb1n
Soiiet t1StG mariin b1ntm1StpiuGt,
bulitocn Main: "ci iplltineit ibnlincii
iad itieGniG ppbdfii fcrsfotnl &iin-
ia ne min ropbfcGt pliiinnc! @ni-
iuailet lDlltiict me mooit olenmlc!'
Olnm1rtGipGilemmGtfin toitouot po.
bofillo tGtG f%pipntpStG, pitGcn it'd 10.
pinntonto. SGnG on bcioGn mic.
lcstdnlu liifn torfcolta ipipttp, ia
nlD0s liifd forfiolta mostattil, josioflt
lnrrnon lanoiii: MinG plcil pph1.
&pImnpSta,, los olloon tristitpitG ia
Sllnlnldn 1opiio bc pitcnmin bpudf
iDpGt. 9t1iu mcIfcin pbtciIesti ul
o%ofiiltaan fristillistG ppbpptt1, picl1
pa pabenmttaonfin iiitd. Sofia iit1
tprfpttGiuGt, ioimotaan bitrjifii mieli
puolifii, eri icnraiiifii, miettclcfpifii
ia r0pbteifii pillibcn9ifii. S1n1 on
minlln miclcStGni oilunil ii,rfcoo: pm
odn Ills eniin, cttG torfcmmin tlttfit
toiiiin JOS moan pGGIIG on ppbid eli
ei.
Nit1 roonrnttn tGstG opettoo?
Snonumc toiipottoo @orobn lastcn
%fonsio: "iospa mind fuuIiiin, mit6
Sierra Siimoln pitbiiu; cttG SGn ran
ban liipaii fqniollcnio ia pD6iIlcni1,
citei PC b~ulluutccn joiitltiii." 81. So:
0. @onboSio ttstoncntiSia puhutoan
PABLO ppbistd, ia Dlrrsfuista, iotfa
ipntiiisfa cr%oitcfoan. &otiofoamme
eoes wdbd Neutrality-suspicious.; 10 cn.
iinldiicsid pioImiSia iiiIistao funin-
sas Saaipetti niita ailtuoafii iotfa ei
ipntistcn tieIId, cifd, 18TH fusio
pilffaaiat istupot, ia pddttdd, cttci
iumoIottomot fiesta tuomioto cifd i'm.
iiirt wanbrrsfosien i~eiiroo, iiIId Ser.