davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
LADY EGLANTINE PASSES ON
L u

L rom the GL. LOUIS ftepuDlC.
Writing obituary notices is sometimes
mournful occasionally hypocritlcal and
often perfunctory, but in mentioning the
passing of Lady Byzantine we do not find
ourselves in any of these various frames
of mind.
Lady Byzantine was a hen, and that
may account for our attitude toward her
demise, but she was hen of parts and
well merits consideration in this day
when we are building monuments to eff
cheney. In her pullet year. the very first
year of her period of productive enter
prise, she laid 315 eggs, which indicates
that she never took a vacation and
worked two Sundays. Moreover, she
never lost prize for which she COM
peted, and, with the help of an incuba-
tor, raised a small but select family.
Just what her progeny were worth we
do not know, but the few of her eggs
that her owner sold brought $40 apiece.
We cannot draw any improving lessons
from the career of Lady Byzantine be-
| cause we doubt If, on the whole, we are
safe in regarding her achievements as
the result of earnest moral endeavor.
We do not see how we can advise any
one less gifted to go and do likewise, or
how anyone with her endowment c,:uld
| the purple, so perhaps the eugenists may
| take courage when they consider this
lady who was queen of the poultry yard.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
FARMERS AND CONSUMERS
From tho Selma Times.

FTUlH ING Selma Times.
The Birmingham Age-Herald Is help
Ing to BRING together the country pro-
Queer and the city consumer by publish
Ing the names and postoffice addresses
of all farmers within 100 miles of the
city who have farm products for sale. II
is fine scheme and ought to be prolific
of good results Doth ways. The parcel
post rate for short distances is small and
the city dweller, when he once makes a
desirable connection, can have fresh vege-
tables and produce for his table all the
year round.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
All for Wilson

Solicitor Hugo L. Black, who returned
recently from a visit to Philadelphia, is
enthusiastic over the prospects of Wood
row Wilson for reelection as President
of the United States.
There is no question in my mind,'
said Solicitor Black, but that President
Wilson will be reelected. Even the larg-
est campaign fund that the republicans
can get UP from their Wall street friends
will not enable them to elect. The people
are going to decide who they want for
President and to the best of my judg-
ment the people are for Woodrow Will
son.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
STILL HOPEFUL.

"a girl should think twice before say
ing yes when a man proposes"
Most girls do" replied the cynic.
Even a mature spinster on the shady
side of 30 likes to think some other man
wants to marry her while she is listen
ing to positively the last proposal she'll
ever receive"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
NOT NEEDED
From Harper's Magazine.

Little Harold was possessed of deeply
religious and at the same time a most
practical nature, as was evidenced upon
a certain occasion when, having climbed
to the pinnacle Of the roof of a very
steep she'd he lost his footing and Segau
to slide with terrifying swiftness toward
that point where the roof swept grace
fully off into space.
20 Lord. save mel" he prayed. 20
Lord, save me! o Lord. : ~ Never
mind. I've caught on . NALL
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
NCIty's Operating Expense

THE compilation of numerous figures
for the purpose of ascertaining the OPP
Grating expenses for the city this year
was big job. stated City Comptroller
Levy yesterday. "All of this data is
necessary in order to find out exactly
how much each department of the city
costs TO maintain. The big question is
deciding on the distribution of the funds
for the coming fiscal year, which COM
mences on October 1.
THE figures for the last II months
show that the city has been operated at
very reasonable figure. There is no job
any more intricate than keeping up with
the cost of each individual article used in
the various departments
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
ALMOST HUMAN.

Il met a real live nobleman this sum-
mer." remarked the bon vivant.
What sort of chap was he?"
mot half bad. He had some excellent
whisky in his luggage and played
fair game Of poker"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
A SUFFICIENT REASON

From the Kansas City Star.
why" asked the hypercritical young
man from Kansas City, do you Arkan-
sawyers always say, Where is it at?"
"B'cuz we want to know, of counsel"
replied Mr.. Gap johnson of. Rumpus
Ridge, Ark. Dye reckon we talk merely
to hear our heads roar?'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27

BEGINNING THE DAY. reJotce'
o God, my Father, at the manner Ia
which Thy service satisfies the sous
What wealth comes even in my p"f
erty, what rest even in the unjust %
Iabors, when 1 am Walking IN
way with Thee. Gracious Lord, III"
makest me to feel that L am iuihiA-
;nu NV destiny. Amen.-H. NJ. Il.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

The school teachers of Chicago have
formed union. 1t will be pie for a
small boy to go to the schoolhouse some
morning and find pickets bearing placards
reading: Keep Out! Strike On! Scab
Teachers Employ ed!"
Every girl should know that the way
TO make man run after her is not to
run after him, but to run away from
him.
1t doesn't hurt to tell the truth once
IN While. If ell married men We're as
loyal to their wives as their wives are
to them, this would be a better world.
A woman likes to have her husband
come home carly to supper because it
gives her good Etart and a chance to
tell him all OF her troubues before bed
time.
single man thinks it perfectly ter
rible If his socks are wrinkled around
his ankles. But married man doesn't
care a boot.
A jury may fail to convict on circum-
stantal evidence. But it is different with
a wife
What has become of the old-fa shioned
woman who used TO sit on the front porch
and give her baby warm luncheon no
matter who was passing by?
No matter how old nor how hopeless
looking single girl gets, she never quits
reading the marriage notices.
GIVE wise man 10 drinks and he is
just as big fool as the rest of us.
The men may chew tobacco and smell
like old pipes. But we'I always have a
kind word for them as long as they re-
frain from kissing each other when they
meet on the street.
Give pretty girl a wad of gum and
sho will look Just as sloppy as the gun
chewers who are homely
Fame is often the result of buying
newspaper men drinks and cigars every
time you meet them.
Leave it to any married man and you
! will learn that while he is firm, his wife
| Is obstinate
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
KEEN ENJOYMENT.

Mr.. Grabcoin seems proud of the
fact that he INDUCES in no form of
recreation whatever"
Judging from what I have seen of
him, he doesn't need It,"
MOP"
He gets more pleasure out Of fore
closing a mortgage than some men do out
of an afternoon of golf"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
BUT WE DIDN'T.

Sweet were summers nodding blooms,
When the breezes kissed them;
Rare her golden CLEANS and glooms;
Sad, If we had missed them
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
UNUSUAL.

saw a thing the other day,
A thing that's worth recounttng;
L saw a drug store, starnge to say,
Without a soda founting.
-Kee Maxwell, In Peoria Journal
Unless you say that it's mo fair
Into this game I butt,
1 saw a barber cutting hair
Who had no hair to cut.
Judd Lewis in Houston Post.
I bought some chestnuts not long since,
And this / can affirm,
E en- though the story makes you vince:
I didn't find a worm.
Charley Leedy, in the youngstown
Telegram.
These little rhymes some lessons teach,
1t truly doth appear.
Didst ever see q perfect peach"
Without a cavalier?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
SAFETY FIRST.

THE porter is unusually attentive to
your wants."
Yes" replied the celebrated bac-
teriologist.
You must have Travelled on this road a
number of. times before and tipped him
literally"
THAT isn't the reason. The conductor
told him that I had in little bottle in
my suitcase enough germs to kill an
army and the porter has made up his
mind that no accident is going to befall
me il he can possibly prevent it."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
HOTEL LOBBIEs


The Southern Bell Telephone building
mas recently been improved to a great
extent" said George Knox, manager of
the Bell Telephone company. THE en-
tire building has been completely over
hauled from one end to the other. The
Guiding has always been considered Il
fireproof one. but the recent changes in
inside construction have rendered it more
impervious to fire than ever.
Practically all Of the improvements
were made especially for the comfort or
the employees of the company. Most Of
them are young women operators. Larger
rest rooms, larger baths and more space
Tor the preparation of lunches have been
devoted to the operators quarters. 1t is
the policy of the company to always look
after the comfort and welfare of it's EN-
ployes. We find that the greater Ell
ftciency cecasioned by excellent treat
ment is a great help and pays well. Few
er complaints in regard to service arc
being received each month. All of the
damage caused by the recent high winds
has been repaired and we are once more
operating on 100 per cent basis
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
WORTH FIGHTING FOR.


What arguments can you advance in
favor of preparedness" asked the ex-
ponent of peace at any price.
For one thing" answered the citizen
addressed, II like to stand on a street
corner and criticize the government"
What has that to do with the need of
preparedness?'
"A great deal If this country were
caught off its guard and conquered by
a foreign power, that would be one of
the frstofmyprivileges taihmtairfhmhm
the first of my privileges to be abro-
gated"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
WHEN STEVENSON READ ALOUD

WHEN STEVENSON READ ALOUD
From I'm California With Robert Louis
Stevenson" by Nellie Van de Grift
Sanchez in the October Scribner
To this house he came often Of an after
moor to read the results of his morning s
work to the assembled family. While we
sat in circle, listening in appreciative 81
lence, he nervously paced the room, read
ing aloud in his full, sonorous voice-a
voice that always seemed remarkable in
so trail man-his face flushed and his
Kramer rather embarrassed, for. far from
being oVerconfident about his work, he al
ways seemed to feel a sort of shy anxi-
ETY. lest it should not be up to the mark.
He invariably gave respectful attention
and careful consideration to the criticism
of the humblest Of his hearers, but in the
end chung with Scotch pertinacity to his
own opinion if sure Of it's justice. There
was about him little or nothing of the ar
rcgance of the successful writer, and it
may be that his open minded willingness
to hear and weigh the suggestions of
others was strong factor in the develop
ment of his powers. He was not too proud
by the wayside. If SO be that the tramp
had something to teach him. In
this way we heard THE Pavilion on the
Links" which he wrote while at Monte
rey and read to us chapter by chapter as
they came from his pen. While there he
began another story which was to have
been called Arizona Breckenridge, or a
Vendetta in the West" This story. with
its rather lurid title, was to have been
based upon some of his impressions of
western America, but his heart could not
have been in it. for it was never finished.
The name Arizona came out Of his intense
d. .ght in the 'songful, tuneful" nomen-
clature of the United States. in which
terms he refers to it in 1.-THE Amateur
Emigrant." The name Susquehanna was
special JOY to him, and he took pleas
ure in :olling it upon his tongue, adding
to it's music with the rich tones of his
voice, as he repeated it: "Susquehanna
Oh. beautiful
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
PETTY VEXATION,

"A Roman citizen was safe wherever
he went in the old days." remarked the
student of history.
That's so,'' answered the iratc bust
ness man. But nowadays an American
citizen can't even write letter to his
foreign agents without having it opened
and paved over by a bumptious British
censor"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27

Teach thy necessity to reason thus;
There is no virtue like necessity
Richard ii.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27
MORE TO THE PURPOSE.

MORE TO THE PURPOSE.
While poets sing of autumn leaves,
All sadly drifting down,
And each one in a sonnet grieves,
His spirit-woe to crown,
Prosaic folk give little thought
To matters of the soul;
But each one asks, well, have
bought
Your winter stock of coal?"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27

TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting NIL
departments) Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-27

Orleans be located through Alabama,
via Birmingham, Montgomery and
Mobile, or through Mississippi, via
Florence and Meridian? That question
will be consid-
Renewed Interest in cred by tn e
the Jackson Highway board of direc-
tors of tn e
Jackson Highway association at a
meeting to be held in Nashville next
month, and the boards action will be
based on the report of the inspection
committee which is about to make its
second tour over the proposed routes.
The decision was to have been made a
year ago, but the locating committee
found in the competing states impor-
tant links uncompleted and for that
reason the time was extended twelve
months.
Mississippi has had fewer engineer
ing propositions to contend with than
Alabama and unless the time for final
action is again extended it will not be
surprising if our competitor wins.
Still, the highway organization in
Alabama and Engineer Keller can be
counted upon to work together and
press this states claims even if there
be no postponement beyond October.
| The pathfinders who will make the
| Forthcoming tour are the same that
went over the tentative routes year
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13
METCALF AGREES TO
STAY WITH COLUMBIA
Committee Votes to Award
Gold Footballs to Men
on Eleven.

7. Nelson Me,oif OF Obeflin will
coach the Columbia football team again
when the 1916 season opens next fall. ac-
cording to announcement OF Graduate
Manager Fisher yesterday. 1t was de-
cided at the meeting of the committee
on athletics to reengage Metcolf by an
optional agreement. since he cannot be
appointed until June. Being n member
of the department OF physical education
his contract cannot be for more than a
year.
The committee decided In View OF the
Unexpectedly good showing OF
first football team In ten years 70 award
gold footballs to the sixteen C men
and Coach Metcalf. Since at Columbia
this is done only when a team wins n
championship II is taken 10 mean that
Columbia considers its revived eleven an
aggregation OF champions.
Because of the longer schedule, prac-
tice will be started earlier than last fall
Permission to begin around the first OF
september instead OF being forced To wait
until the opening of college probably Will
be granted by the faculty. Instead OF
starting the season October % as last
year the Blue and White team will open
It's season with Hamilton on October I
and play Vermont. Union and Williams
before the month is over. For this rea-
son the men need a month OF prellm !
nary training. In Metcalrs opinion.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13

LAIRD LOST TO COLUMBIA.
New Interpretation OF Rules Is
That Ne IL Ineligible.

Jack Laird. the former Princeton
baseball and basketball star. who rs a
student at the Columbia Law School. ~
lost to the basketball squad. II was
announced yesterday by Graduate Man
ager Fisher. Since Laird played right
guard on the Columbia team against
Dartmouth last Friday night a new
ruling has been made by the officers
Of the intercollegiate Basketball League
regarding eligibility. .
When the league passed its radical
rules last spring there was so mucn
dissension that Il n meeting this fall
II was decided not to make the rule
apply to any men who played IN II
league games last year. Laird was on
the Columbia squad last year. hut be-
cause OF the ono year residence RUE
was Ineligible to represent Columbia.
Columbia also altered It's rules, hut In
the case Of graduate students Nho We're
In the university laat year 1t specified
that the new code was non-appltcable.
The hitch came In that Columbia In
cludcd all those who had been ~ the
university last year. while the Inter
collegiate Basketball League said that
it's new rules would be suspended My
In cases where the men had played last
year Columbia CAV way n lost
Baird. Just who will take his place
Saturday night, when the team cocs to
Hanover, was not decided. II probably
will lie Haaren,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13
ALPHONSE-GASTON
SKETCH BY BRAVES
"You Visit Me-" Telegram Of
Stallings: "NO, You Visit
Me-" Says HaughtOn.
WOULD INCREASE ROSTER

BosToN. Jan. 12.--P. n. Haughton
and George T. Stallings are anxious for
a visit from each other. To-day Haugh-
ton was obliged to refuse a cordial offer
from Stallings 20 go quail hunting In
Georgia n at the same time he urged
the manage OF the Braves To come
North at his earliest convenience.
The S~talllngs telegram TO Haughton
said: Would It be possible for you TO
come South with some OF your friends
for a hunting party? Can offer you
good quail shooting with good dogs.
II not ! will come North. II Is very
important hat we get action on a couple
OF players that the club needs"
Haughton's return message was
Very much regret that I cannot &C.
cept your kind hunting invitation. 80
many matters require my attention that
II will be impossible for me to get away
Please let me know when you can at
our earliest convenience come North"
From the nature of Stallings's wire Il
Is apparent that he has Ia mind a
couple o. men who will strengthen the
Braves.
The annua meeting OF the Boston Ma
tionals now Is fixed for Friday fore
noon.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13
RUTGERS INVITES DARTMOUTH.
Would Add Green to Its Football
SchrduIe-TiEcr Date Later.

New BRUNSWICK. y. j.. Ian. IL
Foster Sanford called out the squad OF
football candidates fr this years Hut-
gers team yesterday afternoon. After
light practice in the R,llantiu" gymna-
stun Coach Sanford gave the thirty
candidates "A talk on the fundamentals
of the game. Talman. Nash, Rockefcl-
Ter. Scott. Austin. Seller and White, who
will be graduated IN June, have an
nouuced their determination TO return
next fal! for daily practice in the ga
pacity OF graduate coaches,
Prof, VI. A. Blake, faculty representa- :
tive of athletics. and Manager W. l..
Bowen have u partly completed schedule
which includes games with Washington
and jefferson, Brown. West Virginia and
Washington and Lee. The game with
Princeton, which has been n fixture for
wears. has not been settled yet, although
II IL stated that a later date than for
merry may be agreed upon Tor the an
nual meeting. An effort also 10 being
made to add Dartmouth 70 the schedule.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13
DUNN BACK IN BALTIMORE.
for Place TO Build New
Ball Park and Wears smile.

BALTIMORE. Jan. Eff there is any
possibility Of a hitch about Jack Dunn {
returning here as boss OF the Inter
national Ieague team IL Is not getting
any consideration from him, and he wa
smiling broadly to-day when discussing
he situation. lie returned to-day from
Richmond, where he made necessar
arrangements for his withdrawal FROM
all connection with the club in that
city. lie made known his demands at
the meeting In Richmond yesterday, and
included In them the selection OF three
players 10 become the property OF the
Baltimore club. II IL probable that the
formal transfer Of the Richmond club
viii hc made next Tuesday. and as soon
as this IL completed Dunn will take
owe: the Jersey city franchise.
Dunn stated this morning that he had
heard nothing at all in any way that
would stop him from going ahead TO
get a suitable site for "A bal park.
President harrow " the lnternat!ons
League Wi! come 10 Baltlmrre to-mor-
roN and viii he a guest OF Manager
Wilhcrt Robinson Of the Brooklyn Ma
tiouals at his duCk!ng shore near An
napolis, While IN Baltimore Barrow Is
,XIcgtct to make some statement as
To ms stand on the local baseball s!tua-
tier.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13
HORSEMEN WANT SPEEDWAY.
Oppose Plans TO Turn II Over Z,
Nercies Of AutOmObilists.

The plan to turn the Harlem River
Speedway over to automobiles was dis
cussed and opposed last night at a meet
ing of horsemen held at the headquarters
of the Road Drivers Association.
r q. Curry. secretary of the asso'
citation. drew up "A resolution to meet the
latest attempt TO turn the driveway into
"a paved street. n IL was unanimously
adopted. The members have put ineir
grievances in the hands OF their attor-
ney and they hope To have the Park
Commissioners recommendation beaten.
The trotting enthusiasts will take up the
matter again at the annua dinner OF the
association on January &c at the Hotel
McAlpin.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-01-13
FULTZ STIRS
WITH NOTE OF WARNING
Cautions Former Fed Players to Be Careful in Signing
New Contracts and Avoid Being Cheated-Deal
for Giants Still Hanging Fire.

dave |" f'ultz. president Of the
Players Fraternity. issued a statement
yesterday In which he takes 1t for
sranted that the players are likely to
get the worst Of II when new contracts
are made out following the peace agree
ment between the Federal League and
organized ball. He warns the players
to make sure that they receive the same
terms from new owners as they had con-
tracted for under contracts made with
the Federal League.
Fultz says organized baseball will not
assume long term Federal League con.
tracts except where It desires to do 90.
He continues;
ut Will probably respect these con-
tracts. but will not necessarily assume
them. In other words. IL an organized
baseball ciu desires the services OF a
player who has signed a long term con-
tract II will make terms with his Fed
eral League owner. and will then be OBJ
ligated to assume the contract In It's en-
tirety. This the player should be careful
to see 10. as the clubs have no right TO
compel hhn to sign a less favorable
contract than the one he already has.
where. however. no organized base
ball club desires to assume the contract
OF any particular player. there will be.
in my opinion. no obligation on the part
of organized baseball to do so. The
player In this situation will have only
his Federal League owner to look to.
in order 10 preserve their rights.
ALL players should gain the consent OF
their Federal League owners before sign
ing with any organized baseball club.
lf they do not do this they may lose the
advantage OF their Federal League con-
tract without gaining any corresponding
advantage under their new greene
The situation is "A very complicated
one, and players should he careful to get
competent advice before entering into
any new c~ontractual relations
The warning issued by Fultz was not
received favorably by the men in con-
trol OF National and American clubs.
Barry Dreyfuss came out with a state
ment In answer. IN which he declared
that Fultz should attend to his owl
business. He esented the Implication
that the men In organized ball would
take advantage OF any technicalitles and
said that ii would be time enough for
the president Of the Players Fraternity