The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-05-25
MyAgent
BY F. A. Mitchell

out for a place to stay over when |
came to a neat looking house not a
farmhouse-that looked as if it was or
had been inhabited by refin~d people
But what attracted my attention was
sign fastened to the gate bearing the
words Matrimonial Agency" 1t seem
ed rather to me that they should be
Counting Quarters" The place was
certainly very cozy.
1t is needless to add that l put mp
at the house. l was received by an
elderly lady whose manner seemed
quite too refined and courtly for an
occupant of such modest establish
ment l asked her If she were the
matrimonial agent, and she said she
was not. Her daughter was trying to
make something In that way. She new
er appeared to strangers unless they
called professionally. Being curious,
told the mother that / was ready for
a wife whenever fate should throw one
into my hands and. handing her fee
in advance. asked to see her daughter.
! expected to meet an angular old
maid or widow. What was my surprise
when the plumpest, rosiest little crea-
ture came into the room. smiling from
her eyebrows to the tip of her dim
pied chin. She appeared to be about
seventeen years old, though she was
twenty. Coming ut once to business,
she asked:
do you prefer a blond or a bru-
nette?"
Looking into her blue eyes, told her
that l preferred blends. But" l add
I'd, before coming to particulars l
should like to talk with you about mat
rimony. Do you recommend it?"
1T would be absurd for me to rec
ommend what is so important part,
IL not the most important part, of na-
ture."
1t struck me that this was evading
responsibility. l wondered at one so
young being SO diplomatic.
DO you youch for the persons you
Introduce" | asked.
Only for their responsibility"
Then you do not guarantee happi-
ness?"
Il do not. The happiness of married
persons depends only on themselves"
Have you made many matches?"
"A number of persons have brought
together have married"
Have the unions usually turned out
happily"
Il have not been in the business long
enough to find out"
you surely don't sail under false
pretenses."
l described the appearance Of the
girl ! should like to marry and she
might have been the twin sister of the
matrimonial agent. She declined to
notice the fact that | had given her as
model, and nothing | could do to
persuade her to drop her professional
attitude had any effect upon her. Her
method was to give her business card
to the man of the couple she proposed
to bring together, with the name and
address of the lady on 1t. But she
never introduced couple unless she
had thoroughly Investigated both par
ties and was satisfied that each was
In earnest In seeking n matrimonial
mate.
Before leaving | gave her my name
and address, with references to GER
tain cronics of mine whom | could
trust. | had no idea of having her in
troduce me to possible wife. My OBJ
ject was to visit her again, and
knew she would not receive me unless
satisfied her that my application was
bona fide. Indeed, In one respect 1t
was bona fide. was willing to con-
slider the agent herself as a possible
wife-not that had made up my mind
to any such result. but it was pleasant
to contemplate.
The matrimonial agency was not far
distant from my home, and fortnight
after my return | ran out In my car to
see the agent again. She informed me
which | already knew-that the re-
ports of me were satisfactory and she
was ready to give me card to a
young lady who was looking for hus-
band. | took the card, but informed
the agent that, being very busy, l
might not soon deliver 1t. Not wish
ing that she should be delayed In re-
ceiving her fee, | handed her another
retainer She took 1t In a business
like manner and told me | was well
come to take my own time In the
matter.
When called again told the agent
that | should like several introductions,
stating at the same time that | would
choose wife from among those In
whom she was interested She con-
scented to this, and | left her. During
the winter went to see her number
OF times, always apologlzing for not
having called on any OF the young Ia
dies whose addresses she had given me.
Toward spring. after having called
on the agent many times and upon
none of those she had recommended, /
went to see her for the last time as a
client. | told her that / had decided
on wife and 1t only remained for the
lady to decide on me She herself was
the girl wanted.
Without any expression of surprise
she took out her portemonnaie and
handed me the fees had given her.
"You are offended" l said. "You
consider that have deceived you"
NO" she said, with a smile. al
knew your intentions before you knew
them yourself. | have accepted and
saved these fees that you should have
the wherewithal for an engagement
ring"