The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-05-31
The Cooperative Plan
A Farmer Tnes Ii on an Auto
BY NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1916. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
BY NJ. QUAD

had a sledge, crowbar, an AK, a cold
chisel and a screwdriver and had work
ell up a nice little state of perspira-
ton.
You appear to have a wreck here"
l said as drew in my horse.
Appear he shouted as he looked |
up. If this isn't the durndest wreck |
anybody ever saw I'll eat my hatr'
How did it happen?"
How does anything happen to an
auto with fool driving itT'
WAS it yours?" | asked, seeming a
story.
"One-ffth of her was mine up to
last night Now the whole sad remains
belong to me. Did you ever hear of
the cooperative plan among farmers?"
Lots of times"
WAL, then, this was cooperation in
buyin' and runnin' an automobile, and
this is one of the results of it. The
other result is that | am about $500
out of pocket and have lost a wilder
who was goin' to be my wife. If you
want to hear all about it Ill tell you.
for l guess it hain't any use to tinker
any more at this blamed old thing"
The farmer took a seat on the NOR
tai remains of the auto and drew a
long breath and proceeded TO say:
There was Tom Evans. Joe Baxter,
Jim Williams and 81 Perkins. They
are all farmers and live about here.
They are all married men, and each
one has a gang of children. AS for
me. ! am an old bachelor, but was
a-sparkin' of the incest widder woman
| I'm this county. The four men | have
mentioned come over to my house one
| evenin' n month ago, and Tom Evans
he asks if | would so in with 'em on
the cooperative plan to buy an auto.
"'How much| says l.
"A thousand says he
"'Thats $3.50 each
"Jcst so. sam.
"And the auto was bought?" l
| quericd.
"She was. sir. She arrived here glis-
TENN like star, and she excited the
wonder of folks for ten miles around.
We got Teller from town to show us
! how to run her. and in about week
we was all ready to glide around the
country. Bein' was single man and
nightly In love with wilder they
said | might take the auto out first
which was very decent of them. felt
sure could run the machine as good
as any man in the state. 1t was a
bright moonlight night, and the whip
poorwllls were singin' and the katy
dds chirpin', and that wilder woman
should promise to be mine before We
returned"
"And did she?" was asked as the
farmer heaved a long sigh.
"She didn't. stranger, and I'll tel
you why. We had gone about n mile
as steady as an old horse when thu
auto SHE'D Mt a stone in the road, raj
through rail fence, wrecked the auto
and the widow gave me fits"
1T gets interesting" said.
"Kinder intcrcstin, stranger-kindeI
so. We got a machinist to tinker $2'
worth of tinker, and the old machine
could run again. Then 1t was Toms
: turn. lie has n wife and five children
and they all piled In. They was clip
pin along as happy as larks whcI
they came to n crossroad. The aut'
was for kecpin' straight ahead, Ton
wanted to turn to the right and hi
wife to the left, and the result wa
that the machine run into and knock
ed over the guidepost and then trie,
to climb fence. The whole famil.
took spill and was scattered TO
twenty rods around. No one was Kill
ed, and there was no broken bones
but the bruises are yet blue, and Ton
still walks bent over like an old mai
on account of the jar to his spine. b.
this time we had all got skeery of tn
machine; but, it bein' now Jim's turn
and he not wantln' to be called COW
ard. he took out his family for PRONE
made. As the other accidents had oc
cured at night, Jim went out in tn
afternoon. lie thought there might b.
somethin' in the night air that affect
, ed the old critter. There was seven II
the family, and they was climbin' tn
hill beyond the red ridge when all t
once the auto gave snort and stop
ped in her tracks.
"'What's the matterP asked jim
wife.
"Durned II know, but she's got 4
gor he answers.
"And she did go, slr-she went back
wards. There was screamin' and yell
| f,,t III IN Ipnfu xUffn clan
= ped his face, but nothin' did any good
= That auto kept on goin' backward
e until It dumped them all in the river
4 which was about three feet deep a
a that time. They was shook up an
!. bruised and half drowned, but the.
q were lucky for all that. They wade,
= ashore and left the old auto lynn Of
q its back in the river"
But you got it out again?" 1 asked
Eyes. We had to-" was the reply
ut was in tryin' to get the old critic
home ag'in that she suddenly bolte'
. and run into a telegraph pole ant
wrecked herself as you see her"
"And she won't be tinkered u
again."
"She can't be. There's nothin' lef
{ to tinker. unless the blacksmith think
9 he can make five wise men out Of tn
five fools who bought her and los
/ about $3.50 apiece, 1 used to think CO
operation of farmers was a beautiful
thing, but durn my cats IL 1 ain
through with it!'
h