The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-06-05
Evening Chat.

H4sl - +
Many OF the members of the Con.
tributors Club have been rather busy
during the past week handing out free
advice to the various candidates who
are engaged In the Primary election
campaign and for this reasontit was
difficult to obtain a satisfactory quor.
um and hold a regular meeting. Last
night however by a special call of the
President o meeting was held and a
new member admitted. This was the
well kn1wn a. Benedict who having
duly qualified was initiated and In
structed in the secret work OF the So
ciety.
Al portion of the minutes OF the
Meeting Is transcribed here and CON
tains the record OF the discussion
heard.
P. BONO PUBL1Co: / wish to In.
troduce our new memebr who peins
recently married is now fully capable
Of advising all bachelors and single
persons as to the much discussed mar
rage question. Mr.. BENEDICT is
NOT only able but entirely willing TO
tell any one all about the subject.
A. BENEDICT: Yes that is true. !
have been married nearly four days
now and am the happiest man In town.
Ny wife says
INNOCENT BYsTANDER: We Will
listen to what you have to say, but
repeating what your wife said is bar:
red. Our time is limited tonight and
we have important affairs to settle.
Although you may not know 1t men
and WON en- have been married num-
Der OF times before.
ANONYMOUS: Don't be too rough
IN the poor cyhap, Bystander! you
were young once.
BYsTANDER: Adam didn't have
AM, one to listen to him tell what Eve
said did he?
TAXPAYER: Leave the man alone.
Bystander? We had better decide
something about this South Side
Bridge. Isbelieved that II 1t is prop.
erIy repaired and q new floor laid and
the steel painted well 1t would last
ten or fifteen years yet.
A. DRIVER: 1t would last II the
right kind of floor was laid. Vibra.
lion Is the cause OF the weakening OF
the structure. II a smooth floor was
placed on It automobiles and other
vehicles would pass over smoothly and
do but little damage. The pounding OF
vehicles as they cross the uneven sur.
faces OF partly worn boards in the,
floor, Is far more detrimental to the
life Of the structure than the strain
caused by the heaviest Of loads.
CONSTANT READER: l notice
Mayor Bowen is hedging on the prom
Uses he made when q new bridge was
first suggested. He ought to be able
to get a good Job with the Traction
company on his record as plausible
press agent for them while acting as
Mayor. Perhaps that Is what he is
thinking Of doing when the new Fair
mont Carter goes into effect. We
ought to give him credit for his abil-
ity as an optimistic opportunist.
QUIET OBSERVER: No chance to
do much about the bridge until after
the election of new city officials. What
gives me the willies is to see the pa
pers full Of this trite and worn out
.Rah. Rah, college imitation that the
local schools attempt to make. These
unfortunate and over enthusiastic
Normal and High school students
prowl around all hours OF the night
and keep tired working men awake
with their spitiful yowlings and atten.
ton to their initiative and enterprise
Cd by hosting ridiculous banners and
painting horrible daubs on the school
buildings. This sort Of exaggerated
ego" should be discouraged and not
praised. The lads should be made to
see that horseplay OF this nature ex.
lists only in the college careers of
sDick Merriwell' and other heroes OF
Zip Top Weekly" This antiquated
sRah Rahni idea that seems to be pre-.
valent among people as a whole, is
without any foundation in fact, and is
simply the result Of such isolated out.
breaks OF unbalanced callow symp.
toms being seized upon by would.be
feature writers" thus receiveing too
much publicity.