Evening journal., 1916-06-01
BILL JONES, SANDTOWN STATESMAN,
MIKES WHISKEY SOURS And POLITICS
IN DISCUSSION OF STATE SITUATION
Continued From FIrsL rago.


BEST falls outten three. with the stran-
gil hold barred an Mister Harrysun
Nrookshank as referee. They seem TO
have got of the mat an worked their
way down into my legs. Ef yu hain't
got no obieckshun, III take a sect an
set down lie sez. "Sertenly,' an
hen ne termed TO Krookshank an sed
'Harrysun, yu awt to know bettern
to give wiskey sour TO a feller frum
Sandtown. why. down in that lokil
SHshsn desert che site nf an empty
beer bottil will make wun OF them
Arabs drunk an kases has bin known
where the site OF an empty wiskey
barril has led TO a seveer attack OF
delecryum treemens, Ef yu must
give him ennything. give him straw
berry joos fer two reasons. One is
that make HIT the uther that ! sell
hitl"
Them Bay-of-Naples eyes Of
Harrysun's got misty. Turnin TO
me he sed. "Bil. hope yum fergive
me- I sez. I'm fergive yu fer every
thing except settin mi legs to lSro-
shayin' an nittin Mary Ann haint
got onuf pettykotes to hold all the
lase my legs has made i'm the last
ten minnits.' Then I termed TO Ker-
pel Townsend an sed "How's yore
BOOM lie sez, Fine, don't hit
look good?" ] sez. Bully Bloo-gray
eyes an rosey checks. iist like hits
daddy Jist then that there baby Of
hissen begun to fret an he said
Il hope yull eckskews me fer
I've bin settin heer a long time an
/ CESS hits time TO fix hit up an give
hit the bottil!" An Mary Ann. wot
du yu suppose that derned feller
Harrysun krOokshank sed jest as he
wuz a-moovin off. Yu kundnt CESS
hit in yeer. lie sed, Kernel ef
yum give that there politikel baby OF
yorn wun good big wiskey sour at
bedtime, hit'll wake up in the mornin
big enuf an strong enuf to kick the
stufiin' outten all the uther Republ-
kin gubernatoryel booms in the Stait
OF Dellywer Wot will yu pay me
week to be yore kampane mannyger2"
AS the Kernel went out, our ole
friend Harry r. Grayham, cheerman
OF the Dmmykratick Stait Sentrll
kommittee, drapped In an begun
tellin me Of his politikel trubbles,
dun wOt / kud 20 kumfort him.
sez Harry. you're sertenly for
tunit in one respeckt. an that is that
there haint mutch diskord in yOre
party like there is in the Republican
party?" He sez. "Hain't mutch wot?"
I sez. "Hain't mutch diskord an that
w know how blessid hit is fer Dim
mykratick brethren TO dwell together
In pees an'yoonity." He sez. "Bill. there
hain't but two kinds of Republicans
in this yeer Stait-the Regler Repub-
likins an the Progressive Republicans.
But there's ffty-seven different varie-
ties Of Dimmykrats. There's Byerd
Dimmykrats. Gray Dimmykrats. SAILS
berry Dimmykrats Handee Dlmmy-
krats. Dickey Dimmykrats. Walkott
Dmmykrats Monnigin Dimmykrats,
Pete Ford Dimmykrats. Tim Mooney
Dimmykrats. Tom Gormlee Dimmy-
krats. Jim Hews Dimmykrats. John
Malloy Dimmykrats. Jim Inglish DIM
nykrats. Millerd Davis Dimmykrats
Fred Bradee Dimmylrats, Dave Mar
vel Dimmykrats. 10 Marvel Dimmy-
krats, John Biggs Dimmykrats. Bill
Skott Dimmykrats. Dick Rodney Dim
mykrats, Chansey Holkim Dimmykrats.
Martin Fairy Dimmykrats, Bill Reck-
erds Dimmykrats, Bill Watson DIM
mykrats. Jim Kane Dimmykrats.
Harvey Whiteman Dimmykrats. Sam
Adims Dimmykrats, Tom Hooper Dim
mykrats. Ned Hart Dimmykrats. John
kallahan Dimmykrats, Dyser Dummy
krats. Wilsun Dimmykrats Brine
Dimmykrats. Champ Klark Dimmy-
krats, Ander Linch Dimmykrats. Bill
Sermin Dimmykrats. warton Dimmy-
krsts. Tommy Shannin Dimmykrats
Boxer Konnelly Dimmykrats. Bull
McNabb Dimmykrats. Sam Ellyot
Dlmmykrats. Billy Morrow Dimmy-
krats. .Doogin Dimmykrats, Mart Keeho
Dimmykrats, Jake Zimmerman
Dlmmykrats. John Haney Dimmy-
krats. Martin Smith Dimmykrats. Ar
temus Smith Dimmykrats. John Ma
lone Dimmykrats. Al. Swan Dlmmy.
krats. Ben HAIL Dimmykrats. Frank
Brocksin Dimmykrats. Ice Kummins
Dimmykrats. Dick Kann Dimmy.
krats. Charley Hood Dimmykrats
Matt Murfey DimmylSrats. Dan Buck.
ley Dimmykrats, Tom Newell Dimmy
krats, Jack Rite Dimmykrats, Dock
O'Day Dimmykrats. Kolen Ferguson
Dmmykrats. Frank Stevens Dimmy.
krats. an God only knows how many
uther different kinds OF Dimmykrats.
kounted up TO fifty-sevin varyeties an
then kwit"
sez. But they're all wurkin' with
wun kommon perpis in mind?' HC
sez. "Yes. an that perpis is fer each
feller to rip the insides outten the
uther feller." ] sez. "Doo yu meme tC
tell me as how they've got there nives
out agin' each uther?" He sez. "Nives
out! wi. Bill. the air is so full OF
nives that ] kain't see the politikel
horyzon. Hedge nives. korn nives
pertater nives. karvin' nives. skinnin
nives-every burned kind OF a nife
that kin be got is hein' hrot into play.
In fackt the situashun has got so bad
that ] rote letter to Willerd last
week askin' him TO git Pressydint VIII.
sun TO establish an embargo on the
shipment OF arms into the Stait OF
Deliywer until after the ferst Toos.