The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-01-27

ITO - Lie oLOi VI SeIO, Iii'
kill-joy, who held Office il
Il Rome in the days before tn
bosses had turned the town int
an empire. AS there were no watch
full Washington correspondents a
Rome in those days, the bosses were
able to do this and get away with it
though not while Cato was on thC
job.
Our old friend Cato you will fine
listed in the history books as Cato
The Censor, though some disgruntled
persons around Rome said it ought
to have been Cato the Censorious;
however, for present day purposes,
Cato the Kill-joy, is equally express
i've.
Cato's papa lived up in the country
Of the Sabines-you certainly remem-
Der who they were-and he ran a
farm.
By and by young Cato, wearying of
the eternal round of feeding the hogs,
packed his old gray telescope and
came down to Rome to start career.
Now Cato was an honest lad who
had never worn patent leather shoes
or lavender silk socks in his life, and
Rome was great jolt to him. For it
was tough town. Even Boise, with
all its reputed iniquity, has never
come up to Rome in many regards.
You see, the trouble with Rome was
It had started out to be very respect
able indeed, and then slipped, and
when Puritan town goes wrong, it is
likely to go very wrong indeed.
Sounds of ribald merriment fire.
luently disturbed the virtuous slum-
,ers of Cato, over in his modest room /
n the Y. M. C. A., and one night,
When a cabaret show had kept him
wake until half past fout, he sat
light up in bed, clenched his fists
nd beat on the pillow ard vowed
hat one of these days he'6 get him I
elf elected police commits Toner o.
and then he'd sa, lie Rome
nth a lid it wouldn't fol- ct in a
urry The which, as you lall see,
e did.
Though an honest lad, Cato had
hosen the law for his profes ion and
e dabbled in politics, as yelng at
orneys will, and finally, ,er The
zeal bosses had made themselves es-
ecially obnoxious, Cato was elected
onsul. A consul in those days was a
ort of mayor of Rome-only there
ere always two of them.
But it was eight years later that I
alto made his first spectacular line I
lck against Roman luxury. A per- \
IN who bore the rather fossy name
{ M. Fluvius Nobilior had just come e
lck from cleaning up the country of t
etolia, wherever that is, and reduc
~ the inhabitants to properly
lmble frame of mind. Plans were J
AIDE for a triumph in his honor. Tri-
nphs, you know, were sort of like
EN- County Fair parades, only more
}, and captives were dragged at the
lariot wheels and there were free
and generally the town
applied wine for anybody that want
| it-and everybody did, of course
oh, altogether they were very joy
Is occasions.
Cato-and now you begin to see
here he earned that kill-joy title we
upon him in the opening
lragraph-C said such perform
ices were all foolishness and
aste of the towns money that might
stter be spent for arc lights and inn
'oving the park and boulevard sys-
m and paving the streets. Also he
ent after General Nobilior rough
lod, said he was n blooming silk
oeking and snob, that he wouldn't
1t it past him to have his picture
ken in a dress suit and plug hat
I'd that among other iniquities, No
lior had kept poets in his camp. This
ems to have ranked in Cato's hon
t breast worst of all; the idea of
.rting a bunch of poets along on
mpaignl However, there are things
be said for Nobilior Since poets 4
EN- inevitable, is it not better to
I'VE them along with an army, where
ey at least run chance of being
He'd, than to leave them at home to
ing down editorial heads in sorrow
the grave?
To get back to Rome, however.