The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1916-09-20
FINNECAN'S ILOSOPHY
BALKAN.


different these times. The Jackass
knew better till BALKAN tanned him.
Lave me ride ye,' says Balaam, AN
III make We the biggest Ass In the
wurld' .e...1 Io;hH a3iGi
"'Great,' says the ASS; what dye
feedY. ,'<,. ..- qS,. s.. ... ..t..-,ae-s
"'Pork,' says BALKAN.
":Me savior says the ASS.
$50 BALKAN mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
Phwat is it?' says BALKAN.
Snakes says the ASS; ut looks
hike the jawbone Nv me mother
"'G'wan,' says Balaam, hittin' the
ASS a clip, - it's me furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwat's ut for?' axes the Ass.
cut defnds the nashun,' says Ba-
laam. -'''
How says the ASS. 49,.
!" Faith says BALKAN, ut takes a
bigger Ass than you to know that.
Lave it to Brine says Balaam to the
Ass; an the Jack walks on medita-
tin. ........ H.. -.
".Hee, haw,' says the ASS, balkin'
an kickin'.
"tWhat now? says Balaam.
"Diyil Jackass ever seen the like
says the Ass. Ut could be a frog
says he, for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind; an It's mostly
mouth says the Ass. ut has white
feathers says the Jack,s wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very Crooz Red, or Niagary Blue, an
now they're Cdrrysall ,Yaller again.
says he. 'Hivins, have been drink
in7' screams the ASS to Balaam.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
its mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, in the
service Nv Mankind says BALKAN to
the ASS, touching him up. An the
ASS shuffles ahead, wavin' his ears in
admiration. s.
'Hee-haw! Hee-haw!' says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
"'Phwat's grippin' We now?' says
Balaam, impashunt like.
4 dunno says the Ass. ut lools>
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialist Crew. he says.
"''Tls me Ship BILL says Balaam.
''Side step to the right he says;
side step to the left says he, well
tin him. Back up says Balaam.
near wrenchin' off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
liam wild shower Nv blows; an the
Ass goes on thremblln'.
sg.I s'Wah-hee! Wah-hee! Wah-heev
says the Jack, shyin' SO he near
threw his rider. ,
I'll learn We to shy at me Naval
Bill says Balaam, lar-rupin' the
haste SO he cud scarce stand.
t"'Ye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack in
a coarse whisper. +.
"'Ye ASS says Balaam. Don't ye
know that amy cloes is betther nor
.nakedness? G'wan,' says Balaam, in
tones Nv thunder. So the poor haste
llopes on, limpin' wild pain.
Eve not time to tell We all the ad-
ventures they had, but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros
lsin' ditch on a wan term plank,
which made even Balaam unaisy.
Iylry time the Jack kicked, he got
short rations an wallop. So when
the journey was near over, the poor
haste was all In, and far too proud to
fight. Any Jack-Ass can be that
when he's licked.
SWAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
Into harmony like Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on q gaspipe wild the
feet. Vs.. b..
'Phwat ails We now?' calls BALKAN,
2clubbin' him wild both hands.
7'"'Nivver did pass the like yells'
the Ass, sweating and thremblin'. ut
says ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwat
Is uty screams the Ass to BALKAN,
feebly waggin' his ears. ~ 49,.
~ I dinno phwat ut Is meself,' says
iBalaam, but know phwat ut's got
Balaam says.
'PhwatY axes the poor Ass.
"ttFive hundther thousand votesy
says Balaam, wild pious dir. 'G'wan,
Je big ASS, an doant We argue wild
an Idaylist,' says Bnlaam to the ASS.
".'We can't pass ut in the dark
pleads the Ass. Lave us wait for
light means the Ass. weepin'.
"'Nix,' says BALKAN. There's hot
time comm an the votes'll spile.
Do We thurst for sixteen more years
lin the wilderness? Giddap,' says he,
purgin' yer heart says BALKAN. Nv
iyiry thought that's SELFISH says Ba-
liam, or personal chants BALKAN to
| the poor Ass ticklin' the Jacks Stats
vivid cOuplin' pin.
by this time the ASS was so wore
out wild his ardyous labors, that he
knew no more than Balaam himself.
so, wild one despairin cry, he dropped
his ears, as he an his master stumbled
forward into the dark" -" ~
5j.is 1t All Depends.
ssTa II, ry,oe ~ nv, n,~uo. A.--.-