The Goldfield news and weekly tribune. [volume] (Goldfield, Nev.) 1911-1947, 1916-07-01
Hank Elwood's
Conversion
BY EDITH v. ROSS

well stocked, and crops Just Springtng
from the ground; there was the house.
well furnished for one of its kind, But
Hank was the only person in it.
Hank had always so far fought shy
of women. He was not a student of
feminine human nature, and he thought
all single women did little else thar set
snares for unmarried men. But he felt
lonely.
I'D ought to have a woman" he
said to himself. But whar am l goin'
to find one? Besides, women are a
ADVANTAGEOUS lot, and l dunno but If |
should git one I'd wish | hadn't"
But Hank was desperate. He went
down to Mrs. Blakeley's, an excellent
friend of his. and said to her:
"Moll, l want you to find me a wife.
I'll tell you jist what kind of a gal |
want. She must be-
Hank" interrupted his friend. IF
I'm goin' to recommend a gal to you
you'd better take her on my say so.
You don't know anything about wo-
men,"
Don't 1? | know enough to keep
clear of one of the kind to slobber all
over a man before she's married and
after the knots tied to jump on him
and boss the whole job"
"Oh. you do. do you? Well. I'll tell
you what I'll do: I'm expectin' a niece
of mine from the east to visit me next
week. You kin come in here as much
as you like while she's here. and meb-
be you can git her. 2le wants to git
married powerful bad. But it's my
opinion you'd better let me pick out a
woman for you and go in blind on my
recommend"
niece. If nothin' comes of it mebbe
I'll try your plan"
When the niece came she proved to
be a strapping lass, with a pair of rosy
cheeks. and she made a dead set for
Hank. Her voice was a ow cOntralto.
sometimes with the tone of a mans.
She was rather awkward. and her hair
was short, which she explained by
stating that she had had a fever and
it had all come out.
What do you think of herr" asked
Mrs. Blakeley.
II think she'd make a good farmers
wife" replied Hank. "She isn't M of
the kind to sit round and look purity.
Them hands of hers are specially fitted
for milkin'. and washin' dishes
wouldn't spoil EN-"
How about her Disposition
II hain't had time yet to make no
observations as to that. but she seems
10 be good natured enough. What do
: on think of herr"
~ | thought you was to decide the
matter for yourself. you know so much
about women. What use would it be
for me to tell you she wasn't the kind
of a woman you want? Would you
pay any attention to me-"
Hank admitted that he had conf
dence in himself in knowing what he
liked and what he didn't like. but If
there was any defect in the girl he
saw no reason why he should not be
informed of it.
There's nothin' the matter with her.
so far as | know" was the nOncom-
initial reply. But Hank did not con
slider it noncommittal. He made up to
Lizzie, as her aunt called her. and did
a bit of counting. but he found her coy
and not disposed to permit him to be
familiar.
shes the gal for me-" said Hank to
the aunt one day. II tried to kiss her,
and she wouldn't let me do it. There's
safety in that kind of a gal. After a
.--s. ..NI 70 hon. ha dnnst l n VIC
feel unsartin about her every time a
good lookin' man comes round"
That's all bOsh.' said his friend.
Hank, finding that Lizzie would not
permit cooling, assumed that he must
first make his intentions known. He
was in a hurry to get some one into his
home and was much pleased with her.
One evening he called at Mrs. Blake
ley's. The aunt was washing dishes
and the niece was wiping them. On
Hanks arrival Lizzie threw down her
%dishcloth. tool off her kitchen apron
and joined che visitor on h porch.
Mrs. Blakeley went on with her work.
Lizzie had been with Hank a few min
utes when her aunt heard her break
out into IL guffaw.
Aunt Molly" she cried, what dye
think? Mr.. Elwood ants me to mar
ry him."
The woman went outside. Lizzie had
lifted her skirts above her knees. show
ing a pair of trousers under them. m
was responding to the proposal by a
clog dance.
Reckon you don't know so much
about women, Hank. as you think Won
do. Lizzie is a boy"
Whereupon Lizzie took of the rest
of her feminine apparel and appeared
as a youth of eighteen.
Hank stood looking on his exhibit
ton for a few minutes appalled,. Then
turning on his heel he went back to
his farm.
lit was weeks before he came to see
friend Mol Blakeley again: then
no caiH RI haP.