The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-05-08
EDITOR; WHAT HE IS AND WHY


POSTMASTER at the recent annual
convention Of the Florida State Press
association. DR.. HUXLEY, who Is one
Of the brightest men in Florida, in
his Toast to the Press" said in
part:
"All the sunshine, laughter, smiles
and tears that have so far indulg-
ed in, gentlemen, you will please for
give. Now, l am going to get down
TO brass tacks, and say something
serious. From now on | haven't an
original idea. Everything say is
CLEANED from the men of your own
craft.
Al. The editors shortcomings:
THE only good Indians are all
dead. The same is true Of editors.
The evangelist asked if anyone ever
knew of a perfect man or woman
There was long pause. Then a
little, old, quiet, patient woman
arose in the congregation and in a
squeaky voice said, Yes, my hus-
bands first wife So as to the edi-
tors! There has been only one per-
feet one, and he fell out of the ark
and was drowned. In Georgia, a
man was fined $500 for hitting an
editor. If he had killed him, he
might have been fined $25. When
he revived and got around to the
Office, he found that the assessor had
been there, and had assessed the Of
flee towel as real estate.
"2. The editors cleverness:
None set ahead of the editors.
They are as sharp as tacks, and as
bright as new coin dollars. Eugene
Field jollied Chicago for years, with
his sharps and flats. We have
enough of them here tonight to make
minstrel show. One Buffalo edi-
tor puts his Chicago and Boston
news under the head of Pork and
Beans. Another editor ordered the
account of the man who broke his
| backbone to be put under the 'Spi-
nal Column And another took the
preachers sermon on Feed My
Lambs and put it in the agricultu-
raj section, under the head of Hints
on the Care of Sheep Once upon
time knight of the quill wrote a
book upon the Editors Purse. You
wouldn't be interested in reading it,
There is nothing in it. There never
was anything in an editors purse
have heard of one of them who
was so poor that his wife put dark
blue skylight patch on his trousers
and he had to wear long-tailed
coat to hide 1t. Another described
a ballet as wearing the wittiest
clothes he had ever seen. In explana.
he said that brevity is the soul OF
wit, and that these garments were
the briefest.
"S. The editors troubles:
who has more troubles than the
editor and who gets less sympathy ?
Everybody posters him. Everybody
criticizes him. Nearly everybody
condemns him. But he has a way
of his own in getting back at them
One person brought in poem en-.
titled I Am Tired He scratched
on the margin, so Am l, and sent
It back. Another sent him a poem
Give Ne Back Ny Own, he did
Another sent him a poem request
ing that he return 1t with criticism
right away, as the author had other
irons in the fire.. He wrote on the
margin, Take out the irons and in
sert the poem Another editor ad-
vertised in despair, Spring Poetry
No Longer Received, for we now use
| steam heat, not stoves Another
editor got poem entitled, Why Dc
Live? He returned it, saying
Because you send your stuff by let
ter and do not come in person
"a. The editors blunders:
They say there is one old editor
chap in Canada who is now 1O3
years old. He has made so many
typographical errors that he is afraid
to die. One editor called a fellow
editor an ass" and then signed him
self Yours fraternally.' When a
dear good lady of the village church
passed away, the editor attempted
to say, She died of general debility,
but a printers devil got it mixed
and said she died of general devil
try Jones grew very sick. The
editor set up an account of it,, Jones
is hopelessly ILL., Jones died Just
before the paper went to press. The
Z. word i'll was stricken, and the word
dead inserted. 1t then read that
Jones was hopeleSsly dead One
editor politically inclined, headed
an article Seekers After Office
But when he saw it in print, it read
Suckers After Office And another
editor, theologically inclined, wrote
that the cock wept and Peter went
out and crew.
90. The editors ideals:
And now since we have had our