The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-01-31
Evening Chat

Ill III
4outstae Of getting stamps IN the
middle Of the might in d dry town
there ID nothing quite so aggrayatingt
q running In d lat man on regular
guys IN an undersizeds smoking COM
partment % a pullman car. said the
feguIafa 70 the barber, as the
tskasoFtaI artist fioundered around his
Irish eountenance with 9 brush Of
Nov who: has spoiled your appe-
tite2r inquired the Chin Nicker.
.sseemsS to me every time. you go away
You come back with q disposition that
% not at TO eat.
SstWel. IN tell you all about it."
said the patient, Eli. you will keep the
iattiergo Lfof my mouth and not break
into the yarn by wanting to know II
IsWfllshavei a massage, manicure, shoe
shine etc"
tI$Was going over to Parkersburg
one day last week from Clarksburg.
Tie was full Of prattllng KIDS
andStheirg dear mothers, who kept up
sIFcontinnals series Of lectures to their
offspring on how to act on q Pullman
car so as not to disturb the other
passangers. The commendable efforts
OF the mothers were SO pttitully ana
uniformly without favorable result
that soon took refuge In the smok-
ingsfoom, hoping to soothe my nerves
with a Made:In.F airmont Cumpston.
at found that others had sought the
same haven before mo. But there
sWnsEstill room for two ordinary sized
peTsons on that long couch that runs
north and south across all smoking
corapartments in Pullman cars had
lust struck up an acquaintance with
theFgentleman on my left and was en-
toytnE our conversation and my stogie
immensely. when the human elephant
ssaueezed himself trough the doorway
and cast his eye on the small unoccu'
pied space between myself and tne
: gentleman to my left.
simultaneously we both jumped
up preferring to vacate the seat rain
ers than to have our wives cash IN oGl
life insurance policies should the train
4 Iift n curve while the beef trust was
Taxing aim at the space between US.
eve had the right dope. The train
1,ft a curve, and the fat man hit the
place where we had been comforta'
I3ly seated like a 1000 Of Irish can
fetti: and incidentally let out holI-
Frlnt. u, half snort that must nave rat
tied the china in the diner.
tsIIaying thus settled himself OF
rather himself having thus been set
tled. he took out pipe which mad
the most distinguished odor OF any
nine I have ever seen. The sulphur
8sne11 Of those tunnels between Clarks-
sburg and Parkersburg was as per
\ fnne in comparison. Having lit his
nine. ne sought IN outlet for his pent-
nm knowledge OF the world at large,
ana started conversation with the
sole survivor on the seat who sat
hunched up in the extreme southerh
corner. +h,s
man had, or thought he had. the scope
OF shakespeare. was narrow II COM 9Il:
parison. He had something on tne
greatest poets, prose writer's, n1s ~ r.
ians, phil oaophers in history, anu l ~
but;not least he had something on Tue
hest liar have ever came across.
4 n sS.tIs listened to his chatter for eighty
tn,i1as7o on the B. & o. and that is some
distance on the B. & o.; and the more
Islistaned the more pondered.
"This gent had been to every worlds
fajr3since the fad started; claimed the
firstSwas the best, because he enjoyed
m better than any of the others. he
said there would be no more IN TINS
country for 20 years and none IN Eu'
Tnne for a hi OF a while. He also
remarked that the San Francisco tair
Isonld have been better one II II
mad been. held at New Orleans.
7SI.TIe knew exactly when the war IN
Euroue would be over, but would not
state the time, because ne dld 4oe
want to give away court secrets ne
advocated licking Germany Tor SINK
cling the Lusitania and violating bel-
gium and England for getting tres stl
with our ships. He was willing. WIN
the consent of Congress, to hgnt tne en-
one at time or together; because ne
was past the age limit, would. not .i mave
tonight any way. He was nov yellow'
however. as he said he came from u
SaIniIy5 az fighters, and from his trib-
iifeaTtos his ancestors he must have had
aSTelatiye in every uprising since the
Cain.Abel combat.
Republican by birth, he never
flialess had associated some N ms
fine with Democrats, including w. j..
Rryan. who he claimed had suffered
mIich through a misunderstanding
I3iii5lic! AS to suffrage for the ladies',
Siiewas for letting them vote II they
%WS;iished but did not relish the thought
fhat Ne might some day have Presi-
lie predicted the nomination OF
Wilson on the Democratic ticket at
ne convention in June, and that the
Bun Moose and the Elephant would
getg together week later and nomi-
nate Mr.. Hughes as the one man TO
carry the G. Q. p. to sweeping VIC
tory in November.
:SAnd SO he talked on necessarily
allsthe way to Parkersonrg, WINE We
stood up hoping he would get up ana
giYeSus a seat before the end Of the
Journey. But no such luck, he was
too busy giving freely Of his knowl.
sAnd vet you wonder why came
backswith an ingrown disposition.
James D. Bowman, Of Hoult, an old
friend of the West virgintan, 10 ISL; re-,
snonSible for the following: This
@,STI13snell of weather, endangering as