Bridgeton pioneer., 1916-12-14
NOW The
WRIST WATCH
Santa Claus Strong For
Convenience.
GREAT HELP.
Thinks American Silly For Now
Having Wrist Watch
Always.


"I'd like to bring peace as a gift to
the world"
Said Santa, "but since that can't be,
A time piece is better than no peace
at all
think everyone will agree.
And as every nation a wrist watch
now wears
Except North America silly,
I'll bring every Yankee wrist watch
so he'll
Be timely and wear it-but will he?'
New York, Dec. 12-"Its funny
thing to me-, remarked Santa to Mrs.
Claus as the two of them stood out in
the hangar inspecting the new 1917
model hydroplane in which Santa
Claus was to make his record 1916
flight. Its funny tn .ng to me that
the United States, as up to date as it
is about everything else, should be so
provincial and behind the times when
1t comes to wearing wrist watch"
That's just it, Nick DEAR" said
Mrs. Claus. "How can it help but be
behind the times as long as it wears
its watch in its pocket? A watch
pocket is always in front of a person
you know. On the other hand per-
son with wrist watch can always be
little ahead of time by holding his
hand behind him OF at least in high
time by slightly raising the left arm"
We'll, it's all tommy rot, / say"
went on Nick wrathfully. Here's all
the other best nations of the earth
proud and happy to have little tick
took on their pulse. Italy, France,
Belgium, England, Russia, Switzer-
land, Holland, Spain, Norway, Swed-
en- and Japan have all tried it out and
know watch on the hnd is worth
two in the pocket Down in South
America they watch their wrist much
more closely than they watch their
step. It's so much handler to see
what time one revolution begins and
another ends. And as for Germany
the Watch on the Rhine ism in it
any more with the watch on the wrist.
And in the face of all this that young
whipper snapper the U. S. A., that hot
blooded young nation which of all
others ought to keep close watch on
it's pulse in these pulsing times re-
fuses to take as a wrist watch for
the asinine reason that it considers it
effeminate. Effeminate, my grand
mother!" and Santa Claus began to
sputter and grow purple in the face.
For heavens sake, Nicke, darling,
don't get excited; calm yourself"
his better half "You know it's al
most time for your Christmas journey
and you mustn't get your nerve all on
edge Besides, if Americans are SO
idiotic as to prefer to go digging un-
der their heavy overcoats in winter
and delving into sweaty pockets in
summer to find out the time when
they might have it open faced right
on hand don't see why you have to
get all fused up about it and let it
disturb your peace of mind or your
time piece either" and Mrs. Claus
glanced admiringly at Santa's smart
new wrist watch with illuminated
hand.
You're right as always, my own,
snorted Santa, fading from passion
ate purple to deep rose madder, al
though he really wasn't bit madder
than he had been, 81 know it's foolish
of me but just can't help getting all
worked up when people are so stub
born and pigheaded about adopting
the sensible and obvious thing. And
I ask you what could be more obvious
than wristwatch, especially one like
mine with illuminated hands on a
dark n ght when its all lit up like a
Christmas tree?"
"And speaking of Christmas trees
reminds me, that according to my
wrist watch, I'll Just have time to
take Dasher, Dancer, Prince, Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Danner and Bitten out
for a short trot before dinner. Poor
deers, they can't get half enough ex-
ercise since they don't do the Christ
mas run with me any more. So long