Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1916-09-14
School Etiquette.

1. Keep your face and hands
scrupulously clean. A circle OF apple
butter around the mouth, or piece
of pie on the ear, may suggest thrift
at home and soiled hands may indicate
that you help mother weed the gar
den and clean out the hog pen, but
according to school ethics and the
Rule of Three, it denotes that your
household is out of soap and water
and the scrub brush is mislaid. Be-
sides it doesn't add to your general
appearance or personal attraction.
The only thing it attracts is the flies,
and as they are only worth five cents
a quart it doesn't pay as a job. Sol
ONION said Cleanliness is next to
Goodness" and if anyone knew, he
did.
2. Wash your feet frequently.
This may seem unnecessary, as they
are covered up, but it has Apostolic
sanction and they were the first mem
bers of the body picked out for alb
luton. There is no danger in it,
contrary to public opinion, as we
never heard of any of the Apostols
taking cold from the custom or any
dying from it; besides being healthy
it may save you from embarrassment
and modification and your teachers
and associates pain and persecution.
3. Keep your nose clean. Tears
from the eyes excite sympathy; drops
from the nose arouse regret. In tue
long run, handkerchief is more eco
nomical and labor saving than your
coat sleeve, as with the former you
can wipe both sides at once and use
only one arm, thus expending the
the least possible energy and exer-
ton. Besides, from the eyes it is a
flow from the soul; from the nostrils,
it is ): not.
4. Keep your hair combed. Fluf-
fly and struggling locks may give you
a Paderewski air that is appealing,
and plunging your fingers through
your locks every now and then alb
stractedly may look as if you are on
the alert and searching for wisdom,
but ten to one, your teacher will mis-
construe your actions and misjudge
you and send you home to the fam
lily physician for examination and
treatment.
5. Keep nails neatly pared and
clean. If you must wear badge OF
have it around your hat
or sleeve and not under your finger
nails; it is considered more elegant
and up to date, and long talons are
in desuetude since the Empress Dow
ager of China lost her job; don't ape
after the ground mole; remember he
has to have long claws to make liv-
ing, as he digs in the ground; and
besides he has no eyes and can't see
how vulgar it looks.
6. Keep your mouth closed. This
is especially urged if your teacher is
talking and your teeth have not re-
ceived the necessary attention. Be-
sides, it will save you the annoyance
of advertising what you had for
Z. Keep your ears open. Remem-
Der the divine injunction He that
hath ears to hear, let him hear what
the teacher sayeth.
s. Don't chew gum. If you are
stuck on it, look in the mirror, while
thus actively engaged, and then go
to the barnyard and watch an old
cow chew her cud and see what pic
ture you respect the most; the COW
of course, because she has an extra
stomach to stomach it.
8. BE always polite. Don't shake
and nod your head when addressed
and always say thank you" when
receiving favor. Even donkey
shakes his head only when there are
flies on him and always manages to
bray when given his provender.
Follow these rules and you will be
happy and your teacher will be proud
Of ou.-Ex.