The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-04-19
HE-ZA HICk
Special Telegram to the New Ark
Morning Light From II. Hick

morning Ll9ht from H. hlck
FAIRMoNT, W. Va. April 10
When is a hog sanitary" That was
the subject Of a very profound debate
In The West Virginian office yester.
day. The contest waged for some con-
siderable period and honors were
about even, both sides claiming victory
and neither side in reality gaining che
laurel wreath.
AS far as 1 am concerned, l have seen
hogs marked for a high degree of SAM.
tation and purity Of ivory soap stand.
ard. A hog, l take it. Is a hog. and hog
has no savory or sanitary meaning any
way you take 1t, except roast pig hog,
or roast hog pig on restaurant sched-
ules. And it must be admitted that a
hog or pig on a plate is a long, long
way from the pen and has passed
through many durable treatments to
make It pleasing to the palate.
The Mayor OF this city, a man of
great renown, like Bill Bailey and John
Gilpin, who once rode a horse which
did not know when to stop, ordered all
the hogs out OF town, because they
were not sanitary. And for sometime
there was a general exodus of grunt-
ers. It is related that those who lived
on the highways by which the nogs
took passage out of town were awak-
ened every morning by the hurry OF
hoofs in the village street; and many
thinking that a modern Paul Revere
was recruiting minute men for Mexico,
rose from their featllery beds to catch
a glimpse of the speeding horseman,
only to find a parade OF pigs seeking
pastures new.
But suddenly the morning ham fes.
tival ceased; and 1t was discovered
that some wise agent had found a copy
OF the constitution Of the U. S. in the
public library nobody knows how he
found IT. and twisted the document
around so that he convinced himself 1t
was among his constitutional rights
ito keep a hog within the city, so
long as the hog was sanitary. SO ne
saw the Mayor. The Mayor says out
side bum" SO the man went to see
the city attorney, and the attorney
says, come in and have a seat" Inc
city attorney decided that sanitary
hogs came under constitutional rights
and went over and told the Mayor the
same, Il Is reported to your correspond
emit, and the hogs are now in good
standing until further notice.
Now yesterday one OF the editors
contended that the Mayor was right
and that the city under the police law
could chase hogs, sanitary or not;
while another was on the side OF the
city attorney.
We'll, suppose the city attorney Is
right. How can you discriminate
against hogs as to sanitarlnism?
L don't know much about law, police
or otherwise, because 1 am no lawyer.
although many lawyers don't know
any more about law than ! dc. ! don't
want to sit in Judgment against a hos
either; but I don't see why II the city
says a hog must leave town, the or
der should not 60, Just the same as Or
dering a human hog to take a bath.
The city tells you to put In a side.
walk, to clean out your backyard, 70
not spit on the pavement, to pay CITY
taxes, to stop being q nuisance II you
are one, etc. I don't see that q hog
or a hog owner has anything on any
body else. constitutional right, city at
|torneys and the like to the opposite
Notwithstanding. OF course as fara 8
am concerned, they can keep pigs 10.
the perlor here, SO long as they don't
try 10 keep them on my desk. ! won't
kick. Yours HICk
be on the hos.