The Muskogee cimeter. [volume] (Muskogee, Indian Territory, Okla.) 1901-19??, 1916-10-14
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry.oo.Round.

lection. Four year agone he was ngin
II, for Il was ngin the constychooshun.
Now that he Is for II, that immortal
Instrument has also changed its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats'
and the rale Dlmycrats, the Passynsts
an the vulgar sowls that's none 100
Proud 10 Flght'--they've all been on
tire Mcrry.go.round. Some iv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're n good man,
but We make me dizzy says Bryan
leppIn' from the Hobby Horse and run
MIN for the woods. I've glnywine
raygrit Mt iosln' ye,' says Wudthrow
THROWN him n Cocked.lIat Nv the vim
tage of 1909.
"'Heres the Army bill says Garri-
son. How does IL sultT he axes,
-Tine,' says Wudthrow, 'barrin'
few changes Yen redraw It, he
says, TO provide says he, 'volun-
tary universal service in Federal
Milishy,' says he, 'conthrolled be the
statcs.' says he; AN recruited be
spiritiai com.pulsion,' says he. IT
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; 'or maybe both ne
says: an the nmmynitlon, says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've To see Hay, be-
fore ! decide the daytnles, for It's me
yooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me on
says Garrison. Are ye crazy or am
II Garrison means. layin' on his back
an gain wildly Mt tn sky. God bless
ye.' says Wudthrow. I've n near-real
raygrit nt losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays side step.
"'F"what iv the NayyT says Kltchin
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great ldayllst, 'ex-
cept In Montany. where we need no
Navy says he, and In 81. Louey,
where 1t shud be the biggest In the
world. Wen be none eNthravagant
like thin Raypubl'cans,' says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bill yell pass,
says he.
"'But this same IN the Raypubli-
cans bili.' says KitclIin starin'. Yell
60 an pass It, says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. IIooray,' says the black
RaypIblicans yotin' for the bill. DO
dream says Kitchln. II l iver
drank. I'd t'ink ! was boozed,' says
K,tchin In Il thrcmblln' vice. And he
falls OF.
"'How about the Army bllT axes
Hay.
"'Thorough an instant preparation
for dcfinse must be the wurd,' says
wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution In his
eye.
"I have here a bill.' says Hay, pro
vidIn' for nm Increase iv five hundther
men n year for twinty year he says (;
-'an' amynishun for six hours ackshun,
he says. twill make us safe from
v-Aiaddygasker, measles, muckrakin',
milit-rism and marital infdelity, he
says, AN wen catch Willy before he
dies NV he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
"'Embrace me- says Wilson. on
Hay-afther all preparedness Is n
matthcr iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir giyS We
u JobT he axes, stoppin' short like.
= '"'Divil wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otlc service In so bravely sipportin'
me policies he says, In all their
rphrases,' he says, Il make Judge iv
ye'he,' says he. 'as well ms yer frind
that we put In the Joker says the
Prisidint. Howly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"Ph'what does this mean at all
Mt alp they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the Presldlnt. AN
ye 60 all through me train iv thought
before ye come TO the pork car says
he. Are ye onT axes the Apostle iy
Common Counsels.
"'Were on says the SInItors, fall
ing or. An the Merry Go-Round plays
a Wilson Waltz, (Which ye know
Jawn, is wan step forward two steps
back, hesitate an sideStCp). An Tu-
multy goes out TO spread the glad
tidln's that the preparation p'rade will
be led be the Presldlnt In person.
"'How does he save his faceT" asked
Malumphy.
"Wid his mouth" responded Finne-
gan dryly.