The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-04-27
Tales of the Town

i 01C0 VI S1kC wv ~
If you are in debt, cheer up. Great
Britain owes $40, 100000.
"Tell me-" said she sweetly, sis ar
F. O. B. Detroit reliable carr"
Looks like some of these moving
picture stars whose pay runs into the
hundreds of thousands, could afford
to wear more clothes.
A mother was worried over her lit
tie sons frequent complaints of ill
ness and said, my son, where do you
i the worst?" "At school," replied
sonny.
Someone has figured out that the
man who does not chew tobacco saves
28 working days each year by not
having to walk about solving the
problem as to where to expectorate.
4 q Z
Between the fear of a symphony
orchestra in the summer time and the
nervousness engendered by Harry
Shropshire not wearing any suspen-
ders in the summer time, Old Bill Mis-
givens' days are full of trouble the
year round.
When a woman sews on button 1T |
may stay on for two days, or it may
stay on for two weeks, depending on
the responsibility of the button. But
when man sews one on, it may not
look it, but it will still be there after
the garment is worn to a fragile.
John Hayes Hammond, Jr.'s, new
.orpedo destroyer can do everything
,ut inquire the nationality of those
aboard ship about to be blown up,
md John is teaching it to talk. Split
ing bamboo pole at distance of
hree miles is one of the claims for its
accuracy.
Some people do not eat angel food
axe, claiming that in the future they
xpect to have that for steady diet, $
nd do not wish to get tired of 1t I
ere. But they had better eat it s
,hile they can get it. They may have
, subsist on deviled ham or something
that sort in the future. 9
Old Bill Misgivens, who is long on
dvice, hands in these "tips to gar q
eners.' Really, Old Bill doesn't know ]
uch about gardening, for he lets his
ife do it all, but he thinks he does
I'd is long on advice; 4
"Raise cabbage. Two heads are :,
,tter than one.
"Be sure to mind your peas and Gu a
mbers this spring. q
"Its all right now to be among the Ct
lve-beans.
"And now something tells us, before
E get squashed, lettuce beet it." III
4 4 q b
A woman selecting hat at a mil CT
,er's asked, cautiously: as there H
ything about these feathers that W
ipht bring me into trouble with the d.
rd Protection Society,"" "Oh, no, fc
ADAM" the miliner said. "But did b.
ey not belong to some bird! the m
man persisted. "Well, madam" the Of
illiner, returned pleasantly, these in
athers are the feathers of an owl; n,
d the owl, you know, madam, seem tt
how fond he is of mice, is more OF tc
cat than bird"
Two "kilties" from the same town
ct in rest camp somewhere IN y,
and started exchanging con- :,
ences. "Whit like a sendoff did yer 4.
man gle We, Sandy, when ye left fur w
'ance?" asked Jock presently. San h,
lit a fresh cigarette before he re- 10
led frankly: Says she, Moo, there's 8,
r train, Jock; in We get, an see an "
yer duty. BY lingo, ma mamie, II ii
,hocht We wud shirk it DOT FOUNDER | i
I'd see We was wounded afore we =.
ng off, That's the sendoff she gaeo "
:, Jock"
in
"I was reading the other day in my q,
per" remarked Old Bill Misgiyens, d
hat they have been having some bad al
airie fires in Nebraska and Kansas Il
e last few weeks, which reminds me B
at have seen some fires in my time. il
so it brings to mind the run made al
Jim Blitters, that is, | had Im's di
,rd for it. | didn't see Jim make &C
e run and there are people out there di
10 insist that Jim is the doggondest
n who ever came down the pike, but :.