Norwich bulletin., 1916-05-03
HIS PERIPEEERAL METHOD

escaped to the garage, where could finish my newspaper in peace.
 sImogene Wenb downtown that very day and had a flower pot sent home for the ivy and when she hastened to the suffering plant after breakfast, l beat it as hastily to my refuge in the garage, because saw by the head lines that a man whom I knew had embedded and that the price of my stocks was going down. But 1t seems that Imogene keeps her gardening tools in the garage and so was dis covered when she came after a troWel to dig up pint of earth ito hal the new flower pot.
 T told her was measuring gasoline and got away with it because of her absorption in her rescue work. She came dashing back most indignantly in 8 few moments. She reported that the earth in the garden was frozen so hard that it was like iron and she couldn't even make a dent in it, let alone dig it up, and why should we have frozen ground and would please do something about it? We'll, take the hatchet, she suggested, and maybe, could chop up a little for her!
 'iSo I resigned my embezz1er and got the hatchet and at the first whack the head of it indignantly rebounded from the petrif1ed earth and nearly scalped me. I told Imogene what I thought of a woman who would en-
 
 old ivy plant and we parted eoolly.
 That night Imogene reported that the ivy had lost three more leaves and 1t was a perfect shame and in the morning she was going to melt some earth with hot water. At 10 o'clock that morning our nextdoor neighbor rang me at the office and in tren1u- lous, confused tones said that she hoped I wouldn't mind-and maybe it was nothing at all people did such queer things nowadays with all these health fads-but that my wife was sitting out in the back yard with the teakettle, pouring the contents on the earth one minute and frantica1ly jabbing the wet spot the next, follow ed by wringing her hands and holding her head. And didn't I think I ought to do something about it2
 T at once ce2ied Imogene to the phone and told her again what l thought of her and she retorted that I was a brute an dthat the poor lit tie ivy was just gasping for breath. When I advised her to smother it completely she paid no attention and asked me whether I couldn't bring home some tiny little dynamite cap sules, just big enough to demolish a pint or so of the frozen ground, be- cause something had to be done. She said she was sure the composition of our back yard had changed from last l season into New England granite and maybe we could quarry it and get rich, i though, of course, that did not dis pose of the ivy problem. She con- cluded by saying that if I had the soul of a lobster I would think of something to help her out.
 So, on the way home I dropped in- to a seed and plant store and pur- chased a nickePs worth of soil, which carried home in a paper bag in my pocket and the bag burst and the l earth smeared all over the lining = and vlafn I showed Imogene what had doae and waited for her hysteri- cal, apologetie thanks she merely yawned and said ah, yes, she had thought of that herself after phon- ing me and had got the pot filled at the florists down the street and the dear little ivy was looking better al- ready. Did she even look sidewise at my muddy pocket? You bet she did not! But, thank heaven, the ivy is plantedi"
 You do lead a terrible life" sym pathized the man from. Woodlawn.- Chicago News.