davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
cats & DOGS" EDDYTORI-

Tother day we come acrost a
note we had jotted down a yr or
more ago which we found in the
pocket of a old vest which we
amt wore to our recolleckshion
for about that lenth of time. We
was good cal surprised when we
perdooced the note & read on it as
follers, viz, towhit-"CATS &
DOGSp
Then we set down in Our offs
chair with our head in one hand
and that note in tother and rackd
our brain in a effort to recall if
possibil whot them words, cats
& DOGS referd to if ennythink.
Suddintly it all come back to
us with rush & we rememberd
that we jotted them words down
to write a edditoriul in the Bugle
about and then forgot EN- until we
resurreckted EN- tother day. Well,
its better late than newer a tall so
here goze for a red hot eddytoriul
consisting of the subjeck, cats
& DOGS"
There is too menny cats & dogs
in Bingville & vicinity and there
is more of same now than when
we set out to write edditoriul on
the subjeck moren a yr ago. In
fackt the cat & dog populashion of
this town has been on the increase
for 10 these menny yrs until now
we conservatively estimate that
there is more of these useless ami
miles in our midst than there is
peepul. When the cat & dog
populashion of town begins to
exseed the huning populashion
then its time to do somethink about
it, say we, but what is to be did
we ask
Take cats for instants: It aint
been moTen five mites ago or there
abouts that we was Jest doing off
for the mite when Widder SINNERS
ole tomcat next door to us on the
right and Bige Barkers old tom
cat next door to us on the left
met on top of our back lot fence
and begin to yowl. We stuffd
our head into the piller and tride
to go to sleep and ignore them two
cats & treat EN- with silent con-
temp, as we mite say, but it was
sent no use-they skwald & spit
and screechd loudern ever so at
last we riz up from our bed in
the upper rear chamber back and
snuk to the winder with a cobble-
stone which had been used for a
door weight and breathed a sollum
prayer that our aim would be true,
then we hauled off and heaved
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Personal Breefs

Mrs. Abe Skinner had her teakettle to
git out on her tother rlorning while she
was billing it for brekfust. Mrs Skin
ner don't know what made it do that be-
ing as she has used it for the past II
yrs and it has allus been satisfactory
but it peard to jest nacherly burn thru
on the bottom and the water in it went
into the fire and fild the kitching with
steem and outend the fire. Mrs Skin
ner had to bile water for Abes coffee
IN stewpan.
Sam Skinner thort he could make
some mummy in Bingville peddlin fish so
he went to the CO seat last Friday and
brung home 25 lbs of fish and only suck
seeded in selling haff of EN- in Bing-
vile being as folks diddent pear to de-
sire fish and so Sam and his wife and
three children tride to etc the fish their
sells to keep EN- from spi1in and as a
result Sam says logged if he don't be-
lceve hes CROWN sllales hes ct that men
ny fish and in spite of all they could do
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Not Enuf to
Go Round

To our intense surprise. amazement
& disgust we discuverd Jest as we was
about to go to press with this ishue OF
the Bugle that we diddent have enuff
copies of this edishion to 90 round
amungst our subscribers. In other
words we was about q copies short
With our carackteristick enterprise we
have sent out to these % subscribers
old copies of the Bug1e which we hap
pend to have on hand and which was
printed 5 or 10 yrs ago. So if you hap
pen to receive Bugle dated 1906 or
1911 you'll know the reason We calki-
late you'll find these old copies more
interesting than this wks regular edish-
ion being as they will refresh your
menry on important events which has
took place in our midst in the past. We
don't make emmy extra charge for these
old coDpies to them that they are sent to
although they are not only val1yble for
their intrinsick worth but also for the
historical assoshions which clusters
about EN-. EDDITOR BUGLE.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

tizens congregeted in front of the house
in an effort to ascertain if possibl who
was calling on the handsome wilder
but the blinds was all drawd down and
after waiting in the cold until after nine
o'clock without the widders caller max
ing a appearance they all dispersd to
their various home in disgust being as
they diddent perpose to stay up haff
tie mite and freeze todeth and lose their
rest jest to satisfy their morbid coori-
ositty.
Opinyun is divided as to who the
widders collier was Some thinks it was
Sam H S from over Pea Ridge way
who roomer says has been sprucin up
to the widder lately whilst others think
it was Rufe Baxter the ole bachelor
from Snake Bend who has also Been
maxim Sleeps eyes at the widder In
our opinyun it wassent Rufe being as
he has money and is titern the bark to
a tree whilst the widder amt got no
fnanchial assets exsept her good looks
and we persoom Rufe wouldn't marry
her for them alone unless she had few
hunderd dollers to add to his Be that
as it may who cald on the widder will
praps forever remain a mistery.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Country Correspon-
dence
SLAB CITY


Melvin sawd and split some wood last
wk also split his foot with the axe Mel
was good cal surprised being as it was
a stick of stovewood he chopd at not
his foot
Miss Susan Maria Hitchcock Sun
dayed at Lands End last Sunday and
Mondayed at E1derberry Gap the day
follering. Susan Maria has been moren
gsdding about lately She also Tues
dayed somewhere else bit we did not
lern where
Your CORRESPONDENT has went to the
trouble to look up the circu1ashion of
the Bugle in this town and finds that
you have grand total of six subscrib-
ers in Our midst and being as these
SIX copies of the Bugle which comes
here evry wk is borried by the nabers
OF them as pays for EN- your correspon-
dent conservatively ESTIMATES that in
clooding your six replar subscribers you
have a grand total of IS readers which
gives the Bugle the biggest circu1ashion
in Slab City of emmy paper in the coun-
ty We callzilate this is somethink to be
proud Of
Jim Briscoe has purchased hisse1f a
corncob pipe for 10 cts of which he is
very proud Jim has allus smoked clay
pipes heretofore but he broke so menny
of same that he has desided he win
smoke cob pipes hereafter being as they
are practically indistrucktible. LATER
Yesterday Jim was showing Elmer
Hines how indistrucktib1e his new corn
cob pipe was by slamming it aginst a
stone wall and broke it all TO thunder
Jim has desided to go back to clay pipes.
Lank Williams cel1er is haff full of
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

Sam had to throw the last three fish to
the cats. Sam says no more peddlin
fish for him and he don't feel as if he
wanted to ever taste another fish as long
as he lives.
Samantha Deevers who has been on
the sicklist for 10 these menny yrs felt
better last wk than she has for quite
spell so she ct hearty dinner consisting
OF sawsidge, haff a mintz pie, pickles,
salt pork, sour krout, ct cettery too
numerous to mentchion and as a result
Samantha is on the sick1ist agin worsen
ever Samantha cant imajine whot
caused her relapse. Praps it was the
pickles.
Bud Hinckley who aint quite rite in
his head and never was and probly
newer will be dropd cake of sope in
the kettle which his mother had beef
stew in tother day unbeknownst to her.
Mrs, Hinckley thort after she had ct
hearty of the stew that it diddent taste
rite and when she found out that Bud
had put sope in it she give him a awful
thrashin and made him go to bed. Then
Mrs Hinckley also went to bed and aint
felt very we'll sinst
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Localities

Seth Dewberry our lion hearted town
constubb1e purchased some scourene
down to Hen Weathersbvs store tother
day and Dolishd up his nickel police Of
hcers BADGE until it shines in the sun fit
to make a persons eyes water. Sinst he
shined up his badge Seth now wears it
on plain sight of his buzzum. and his
refleckshion can be saw coming in the
sun for moren mile.
Next wk if there is emmy extry copies
of the Bug1e left over after we have
mailed one to catch of our reglar
subscribers we expeckt to send EN- out
as sample copies to them as aint sub
scribers in the hope that they will be-
come so. In case you don't receive one
of these free sample copies you will
know there wassent no extrys left over.
Miss Matilda Brown inadvertently &
accidentally shet the kitching door on
her rieht foot tother dav bruising her
couldn't wear her new shoes to church
last Sunday so she remained at home in
DISGUST.
While standing on icv SPOT in his
hen yard feeding grain to his hens last
Thursday morning morniro Hez An
drews kickd at a old rooster who was
hoggin all the feed and had his foot to
sin on him and set down with a dull
sikkening thud on the ice When Hez
got Up he forrd that he had crushd one
of his hest Plymouth Rock layers to-
deth. Hez says he wouldn't of cared if
it had of been that greedy rooster.
Jerry Stimson paid us pleasant call
at the Ruole offs last wk and also so
cts on his back suhscripshion which
boosts same UP to Jan l. 1911. The
only regret we have is that the so cts
wassent SIS do1lers Still we be thank
fill for the 50 cts being as we wassent
expecting to eit 'ennythink a fall.
A big sled full of yum" folks from
Eardscrabble pasd thru Rinpville one
nipht last wk after everbuddv had went
to bed sinping and hollering and cutting
up generally. One of the bows in the
party routed out Hen Weathershy prop
of our general store and after Hen had
dresd and went to the store all the
fe1ler bought was five cts worth of see
ears.
Ez Doo1ittle had orr tonsoria1 artist
& perfes1,ional barber Harve Hines cut
his hair last wk It was Fzzes inten-
shion to postpone cutting his hair until
the warmer wether of next spring ar
ived hut it get so long and so fur be-
Want his control that he had to have
If did sooner. Harve clipd off enuff of
Ezzes hair to most fill a cushion and Ez
still has so mutch hair on his head he
can skeerce1y git his hat on his head.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
lie do your
UrNds foR YOU

Owink to the ridick1us high prices
which is charged by Ike Doolittle
who runs the mail stage betwixt Bing-
vile and the CO seat for doing urnds
for folks hereabouts stitch as purchas
ing things for them which they cant
git in Bingville and delivering same at
their very doors / have desided to
start a express company from Bing-
vile to the CO sect & return consisting
of myself, my roam mare and my
pung. I will make a trip evry other
dav until further notis and if you de-
sire emmy urnds did I will did them for
you and garryntee satisfacks hion and
wont charge you all out of doors for
doing in like Ike Doclitt1e does neither
If you wish ennythink did at the co
seat stitch as buying merchandise, dry
goods, groceries, noshions, boots,
shoes, hardware, ikwids inclooding
molasses, vinegar. bottled & jug
goods of all descrioshions with
NOTHINK ON THE OUTSIDE OF
THE PACKAGE TO INDIKATE
CONTENTS kindly call at my house
and leeve your order also the m oney
for same. This is important becuz
unless you 1eeve the money in advance
YOU wont get what you order being as
am taking no chances. l believe in
safety first.
Now as to what l will charge YOU,
will CHARGE you according to how big
or little the package is. If its big lie
charge you more but not too mutch and
if its small lie charge you less, but suf-
hshent.
Let me do your urnds if you want
them did satisfactory. l wont forgit
to do EN- like Ike Doolittle does. Try
me and see.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

that cobblestone with all our mite
but our hand slipd or somethink
md we broke two lights outen the
winder and skun four of the five
nuckels on our right hand down to
the quick aginst the sash after
which we returnd to bed in dis
gust whilst the cats kept up their
everlastin screechin for a hour or
more.
1t is awful hard for a person to
retain a Christchian SPIRIT in their
buzzum & love their naber as their
self espeshially when their naber
has cat on each side that sets on
our back fenct and screeches and
skwals after decent folks have
went to bed. .ssss4s.s.ss s-ss
Then spose we consider the dogs
in Bingvilie for a rrli1nit: There
possibly befa family in Bing-
vile who don't maintain a dog as a
member of the household but if
there is we cant think of emmy at
the present writing. On the other
hand we can think of n1enny fanb-
lies who maintain several dogs.
Personally we like dogs as well as
ennybuddy & we think dog is all
right in its place but its phase aint
on the sidewalk layin in the sun
where a person can step on its tail
accidentally and have it bite you in
the leg or elsewhere. Enuff dogs
is suffishent but moren that is 500
perfloos.
Take that yaller hound dog of
Hank Dewberrys for instants.
That dog of Hanks is the ornriest
lowest down good for nothingest
cur we know of and. he aint got no
more right to live than a delink-
went subscriber to the Boogle.
Hank calls him "Rover" which
is a good name for him being as
he roves all over town slinkin
around with his tail betwixt his
legs stealing everytl1ink fit to etc
which he can find. Last wk he
lugged off a mess of sawsidge
which Mrs. Lem Brown had left
on the table of her back piazzer &
which she was going to have for
breakfast & ct it every mite UP.
Skeercely day passes that 'Ro-
yer" don't commit some depper-
dashion or other. Grover" is full
er of fleas than a ear of corn is
of grains & when he aint thievin
hes scratchin which makes him
praps the bizziest dog in Bingville
but his energies is worthy of
better cause. We wisht to good
ness somebuddy who has the we'll
fare of this town at heart would
give Rover" and about five duz-
zens of other dogs in this vicinity
a dose of pizen. 1t would be a
good riddance.
In conclooshion we desire to say
that Bingville can newer hope to
take her proud place amungst the
metropolisses of this country until
she devotes more time to increas-
ing the huning populasllion of the
town and decreasing the dog & cat
populashion in Our midst
THINK THIS OVER YOU
CAT & DOG OWNERSi
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

water after the last rain. Lank says
however that hes glad it aint plum full.
Lank a1lus tries to look on the brite
side of things.
Seth Wins1ow and Ti11y Grimes is
said to be engaged and will be married
next spring or the spring after. Well
its about time being as they have been
keeping company now for seven yrs.
VOX POPULI.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Light in the arlor

There was light in the front parlor
of Widder Hendersons residence last
Satterday evg from p. M. until no.
buddy knows how late
Several of our most enterprising cit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18
Joy Zone a Failure

According to Sunset Magazine, the Combined Amusement company, which built and operated a number of con- sessions on the "Zone'' at the San Francisco fair, not only lost every cent invested, but is facing a suit brought by clamorous creditors. The company spent $42S,362 on buildings and other construction work and it's operating expenses were $129,834. The total receipts were S126,168.
 These figures illustrate in strik- ing manner the waning popularity of the sort of amusement which made the Midway" at the Chicago exposi- tion internationally famous, at least when it is incidental to large exposi- tion. Out of four hundred concessions at the San Francisco fair, it is said that less than ten declared dividend. The largest number barely made op- erating expenses and scores of enter prises suffered heavy losses.
 The explanation given for this state of affairs is the rapid growth of amusement parks in all parts of the country, providing substantially the same sort of shows, villages" rides and other devices which were to be found on the Zone" at San Francisco Although from time to time new ideas are developed by the men who cater to people who like to risk their necks for 5 cents or dime, there has been hard ly any change in the shows since 1893 and the novelty has worn off.
 The experiences of business men who put their money into concessions on the Zone. may have depressing effect in the future and it is possible that the next big exposition will have no Midway" Yet, this feature of fairs has been popular in a general way. People like to stroll up and down and listen to the barking of the bally- hoo men, even if they care nothing for the shows these gentry exploit.
 A big fair without an amusement street may seem like an anomaly, but it may come to pass, unless something new in the way of concessions is de- vised that will draw the crowds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18

started Birmingham will find it com .paratively easy to bring here the larg- est class of conventions.
 The Federation of Music Clubs of America is to hold its next biennial convention in Birmingham April 1917-on the supposition that we will have the auditorium. The national convention of the Y. M. c. A. will probably hold it's triennial convention here in 1919; is almost sure to accept Birmingham's invitation if the audi torium is built.
 The grand encampment of the Knights Templar of the United States will hold it's triennial in Los Angeles next month. Birmingham would not be able to get the triennial for 1919 even if it tried, because certain other cities are in line; but an invitation should be extended now so as to get Birmingham in line for 1922.
 There is nothing like keeping busy on the big convention job. And in this connection is should be within the scope of possibility to land the na- tional democratic convention here either in 1920 or 1924.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18
MANHATTAN BEACH

From the New York Globe.
 The demolition of the Oriental hotel means the end of Manhattan beach as long known. When few years ago the Manhattan Beach hotel was removed to make room for bungalows and cottages the end began Now it will soon be over.
 Manhattan beach was unique among New Yorks many beaches. A short dis tance from crowded Coney, it afforded quiet to those who yearned for such in hot weather Good band concerts were there for all who desired them All who did not could retreat to a distance where only the sea or the happy shouts of the bathers disturbed the silence
 Then the Oriental itself maintained a standard of exclusiveness for those who value that quality. Manhattan beach was unfailingly cool No matter what the heat in the stricken city. no matter if other beaches sweltered and sizzled, Manhattan was cool. The peculiar rela- tion of the land to the water insured a refreshing breeze.
 To be sure, the land and the water re- main there as of old. But Manhattan beach as the town knew it, refuge from even such days as introduced the month of July in 1911, is no more. No other beach, unfortunately. quite takes its place. But, ho, for Long Beach!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18
Auditorium and the Bond Election

One of the most important special elections ever ordered in Birmingham will be held June 5-two weeks from next Monday--when the qualified voters will have the privilege of say ing whether or not the city shall ex- pend $2,000,000 on public school buildings, S500,000 on combination municipal building, which will include a vast auditorium, and $500,000 for erection of municipal electric light plant.
 The sentiment of the people seems to be strongly in favor of the addi- tional schools and the auditorium. If the election was held tomorrow the proposed bond issues for these two objects would, it is believed, be rati- fled by substantial majorities. But an active campaign for both propositions should be continued if we are to make "assurance double sure"
 Two million dollars should give Bir- all the schools needed with in the next four or fi-N, years, but no less a sum would be adequate.
 As for the auditorium, an expendi- ture of S500,000 will provide Birming- ham with handsome, fireproof audi. torium. city hall and library all in one. In view of the urgent need of these projected improvements. the vote on June should be practically unani- nous.
 When work on an auditcriumE is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18
Fishing at Eutaw Is Great

Thomas H. Abernethy, manager of the Strand theatre, has just returned from a fishing trip at Eutaw, bronzed by the hot sun-and with ravenous appetite for something else besides fish.
 q had heard such tales of the fishing at Eutaw," said MT. Abernethy, that when we started for the camp a week ago we omitted to take any supplies along We just said that as we caught the fish, we would eat them.
 "Now, of couse, to make this real story of hardship should say that we did not catch any fish and nearly starved to death, but that would not be in ac- cordance with the facts as in reality we caught all the fish we desired. Really all we had to do was to throw the lines in and pull in the fish. However, such wonderful luck has it's drawbacks as we had to eat this fish. For the first day or two the fish meals were great and then we all wanted a change, but we had noth- ing else to eat except-fish And that's the reason why we returned to Birming- ham so quickly, as the fish diet was such that I do not believe I'll be able to look a member of the finny tribe in the face for another year or so. Next time l go fishing l am going to camp operated with an la carte restaurant service.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18
GAN IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE.

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
 The Zuericher Nachrichten report that Gen. Won Bissing, Governor Marshal ol Belgium, expressed his disgust with the people of Belgium in the above quoted words, when, in spite of his pronloltloh' the national Belgian colors were ois- played in every nook and corner oA Brussels on occasion of King Albert anniversary on April 8.
 Of course, the military police saw 10 it that the national flag was not ralseo at any point But they could not easIiy prevent gentlemen in black suits With white shirt fronts wearing red neckties nor could they make a case against the grocer who piled up tomatoes. tapioca and prunes in close juxtaposition in his show windows. Especially lady pedes- trans seem to have annoyed the general to the limit of endurance, and he IS re- ported to have exclaimed in fit of an ger: These people are insanely na- tonal You cannot teach them any thlng.''
 pathetic story is told in the same article of Belgian children, who insist on speaking French. The officers must pretend not to hear, or else all the Bel gian children of Brussels would be brought before the court of correction daily, as they will not cease speaking French.
 But here and there an officer will break into cluster of children and take out one, take him or her before the court, and have him punished-physical punish ment in each instance.
 A little tot, brought before the mag istrate was asked why he insisted on speaking the prohibited tongue.
 Papa spoke French. was the reply.
 And where is your papa now?"
 You have killed him."
 If we killed him, he was a bad man.
 My papa was good. You are bad"
 Of course, the child got his whipping.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-05-18
THE AMERICAN FLAG

Each soldier eye shall brightly turn Where the sky-born glorles burn, And, as his springing steps advance, Catch war and vengeance from the
 glance;
 And when the cannon-mouthings loud Heave in wild wreaths the battle shroud . And gory sabers rise and fall, Like shoots of flame on midnight's pal: Then shall thy meteor glances glow, And covering foes shall sink beneath Each gallant arm that strikes below That lovely messenger of death Flag of the seas. on ocean wave Thy stars shall glitter OCT the brave! When death. careening on the gale, Sweeps darl1ly round the bellied sail And frighted waves rush wildly back Before the broadsides reeling back, Each dying wanderer of the sea Shall look at once to heaven and thee. And smile to see thy splendors fly In triumph OCT his closing eye. Flag of the free hearts hope and home By angels hands to valor given: Thy stars have lit the welkin' dome, And all thy hues are born in heaven. Forever float that standard sheet! Where breathes the foe. but falls be1
 fore us
 With Freedoms soil beneath OUT feet. And Freedoms banner streaming OCT usl