Norwich bulletin., 1916-01-04

sT don't know what I'm going to do about my wife" said the man who had got on the train at Hyde Park. @She cut an important customer of mine whom introduced to her two months ago. and 1t made him so mad that he gave his order to another ffrml She explained to me that he wore soft hat when she met him and how was she to recognize him in a derby and after twoA months. too! As though she couldn't remember his nosel He has a fat one!"
 My wife is just as bad. sympa- thized the man who had got on at Woodlawn. "She says I'm most un- reasonable! I was playing golf with Derby out at the club one Saturday and when we came into the clubhouse for lunch We met my wife on the porch and I introduced Derby His shirt was turned in at the neck and he was burnt the color of a. brick, and his hair stood every which way, but you would think that Derby, the president of the biggest concern of it's kind in the coutry would have inn pressed himself upon her memory.
 Naturally, you would suppose a human woman, meeting Derby for the first time, would have gone away quietly by herself in a corner and painstakingly imprinted upon her mind his every little feature, so that she could thereafter see him coming a mile off and be able to say careless ly to the women with her: Oh, there comes my dear friend MT. Derby! Yes. I'll be charmed to introduce you we are really quite old friends!"
 "But you never can count on women! Of course, it was six months later and at a dance that she saw Derby again. and he was in his glad rags and his complexion had faded 117f fo a xrvf,i 7oIo ,11 that-but Derby is Derby, you know! What did my wife do but look right through and over him and cut the poor man fiendishlyi
 sShe pointed out in extenuation of her crime the fact that of course he knew her, because she was with me but there was no similar tag on MT. Derby, and was crazy if I had ex- pected to know hirni She added a man in evening clothes bore about as much resemblance to himself attired in golf rig as a butterfly did to a caterpillar, and that nobody on earth was expected to recognize the yell low and crimson butterfly among the rose bushes as the brown caterpfi- lar one had knocked off his neck a few weeks previous. So why on earth was I making such a fuss? She doesn't seem to have the least trou- ble remembering women. If, after a casual introduction a year before, she meets a woman she spots her instant ly as the Mrs. Smith who wore the the Uppity clubs annual reception. And if Mrs. Smith is wearing the brown velvet made over and sr1oth- cred and disguised in tulle and satin and dewdads, you bet your life she recognizes the dress as well as Mrs. Smith! It's a caution!'
 q know it, glommily agreed the Hyde Park man. I've suffered so severely that nowadays I say stern ly to Beryl: You are going to meet MT. and Mrs. Jenks tonight! For heavens sake, take long look at Jenks, because he's on the member ship committee of the club I want to get intoi Make a good impression. Make him think we are somebody Get his face fixed in your mind so know him from the mdlkman or the grocery boyi"
 "Beryl is really anxious to please sometimes. so she tries to obey me. She sits all evening with her big eyes glued on Jenks' face and hangs that Mrs. Jenks gets mad and says Beryl is trying to flirt with her hus- hand and she won't stand it, and she makes Jenks blackball me when my name comes up;"
 When we're out" mourn<<ss-.y add ed the Woodlawn man, land I see anybody coming whom we know I ja'b Imogene with my elbow and hiss into her ear that here comes Jangler. whom she met on the steamer. and for heavens sake, speak! fWhere?' says Imogene in troubled, wild voice, staring over the surrounding land- scape in all directions except at Jan gler.
 Before I can tell her he is located in this county instead Of in New Jer-