The Caldwell tribune., 1916-09-01

and true. She seems nearly like one
OF us. The other day in fun | up and
kissed her and now | feel guilty.
Should | tell wife about it," Answer:
You could have signed your name,
there is no danger that the Hired Man
would tell it. But | might have lost
the note, 1t is true, although they 90
into the fire imm ediately. Your act
was just little out of the usual and
some little bird may have already told
it. The neighbor's wife may have told
her husband. AT any rate | would not
tell my wife now, for two mistakes
never make one correct deed. Some
of these days some fellow will up
and kiss your wife," and then don't
you go off and have a jimminy fit
about it. The old law used to be, an
eye for an eye, tooth for tooth,
and | suppose, kiss for kiss. | did
know of a fellow one time who got
two black eyes for less than half
dozen wee kisses, and it might Just be
possible that your case will be settled
that way later. Tell your friends next
day that you got up in the night and
was feeling around for your slippers
and struck your eyes on a chair back,
and hereafter don't "up" and let loose.
Three years since a fellow here in
town married with a nice innocent
girl who knew nothing about the
world and its ways. He taught her to
love him. She gave him her trust and
whole heart. She is the mother of two
babes now. He has worse than de-
serted her, for he lives around ad-
jacent towns, flirts with flirty women,
blows in his money at dances and
shows, gives his wife not a cent,
comes around once in three months
= and jollies the poor girl into loving
him again, then laughs at her and
goes off. What should be done" If
you tell me the precise truth, and
your story is substantially as you re-
port it, the fellow ought to be put on
the rock pile at once for three years
at dollar day and his board and the
dollar should be paid to the wife. She
should be compelled to get an i'm
mediate divorce, and he should be
sterilized the day of his conviction
If the prosecuting attorney wants to
act in this case the Hired Man will
tell him where he can get track of
evidence and tell him who brought
this to me-
when l die or go away from Cald-
we'll | want folks to remember me a
long, long time, how am | to bring it
to pass?" Cheat a good many of them.
tell others they are not baptized right
and threaten the others with being
politicians when they propose reforms
| am reminded that things around
us are all to perish. | saw ten persons
last week with something wrong with
their false teeth One had broken
tooth, three or four had cracked some
thing in the machinery of them, and
others were having other troubles.
Caldwell dentists all have queer
idea about false teeth, they make them
all look about the right age for a 2
year old person.
81 am naturally musician, but dad
says there amt anything in playing
the fiddle and that he never saw any
body worth shucks who could play
right WE'LL What is your opinion? p
Its about like your dads. A profess
sional musician in country town has
about as hard time of it as preacher
in country place with marriageable
daughter whose mother never knew
anything about making over clothes.
If you really go much ON good food
and woolen underwear instead of cot
ton flannel, take up something besides
fiddling You can play the fiddle on
the side, but get hold of your ducats
some way less ephemeral.
q have two books | will give you
if you will read them. They don't
agree with you, however. Will you
read them?" | won't promise until
see the books. | don't really have
time to do much reading, and abso-
lutely no time for useless reading. A
good many modern books read very
we'll until you get to the last chapter
The write-ups on weddings read fine
they say, and you are made to think
that two royal bloods have been mar
ried, until the last line says Mrs
Blank used to work for Tim Shanni
gan and the groom raises mushrooms
you say that our lands out here
could have been watered tor thirtS
dollars per acre, whom do you blame
for the additional cost" don't know
that | blame anybody. Somebody a
Headquarters in Washington who hap
pencd to have a job and who hap
pened to know less about the contou
of our country than several OF on
own native SONS. got cog loose in hi
early thinking, and went at the who'll
thing wrong end to, ! think | cai
show that every acre Of the north sid
and every acre of the south side her
could have been watcrcd for thirt,
dollars, and the job could have beer
completed SO long ago that we woul'
have now been thinking about some
thing else.
"You must notice that large per
centagc of our farmers work on Sun
day. Say something about this con
dition." | regret that so many goo
men and women here feel II necessar