Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-07-20
CH0RDS a ND'
Id I S G. O II ID s
CIGAR COUNTER COMEDY.

counter to let the Girl have a full
view of his diamond ring. This Is
the first July l have been on the road
seeing my customers since 1 have
been in the game. Right now l ought
to be at Atlantic City splitting in those
| sharks faces LAST summer l spent
| three months there, and, believe me,
Everybody knew l was in the village"
What did you use-bells or dyna-
mite? You don't look as though your
face or shape would bring on an cpl
demic of neck trouble among the
| ladies'"
You don't get me, kid | have an
| entirely different system than you
imagine. I'm wise, you know"
Il don't know anything about 1t.
| You may be a safeblower for all l
know You see my business is to
stand up here and sell goods to the
customers. 1 haven't time to believe
| or dispute any claims that are made
| by strangers like you. Yesterday a
| bartender with sport shirt bent over
the counter until he almost melted
his elbows through the show case.
| He told me COnfidentially that his
mother wanted him to be a minister
| He got a start, he said, but fell for
| the ponies mean the lOuT-ISSSeu
| variety-and accumulated so much
| speed that he missed the pulpit. He
was one of those weeping kind, and
| because / didn't sympathiZe with him
| in his misdirected life he went next
door and bought a package of cigar
| cts instead of leaving his money with
| me-"
"Of course you must lose patience
with some of the air dealers that buzz
you here during the day" said the
| Merry PeddIer. But you ought TO
| see in giving me the once over that |
am not one of them kind of guys. I've
| seen this old world all the way around,
| little one, and l know human nature.
| When 1 first laid eyes on you 1 knew
| that you weren't one of the chilled
steel Moils that we run across in
! most Of the hotels. You've got per-
| sonaiity. There's a response in your
| cheeks when a customer hoyes in
view
Il thank you for them kind words,
| but 1 must impress on you, before
| you go too far, that all of our mer-
| chandise is marked in plain figures
| and we have no reduced prices, even
though the weather is against active
| selling"
why, could buy seven stands like
you got in front of you. Guess you
| don't remember me. I'm Georges
friend. George is always talking
about you. I was with him here one
night last winter when he shook you
! for a box of cigars and he won"
"Oh, yes, you're the chap who, when
George offered you a bunch of the
cigars he had won, wanted to know
| if l would exchange them for cigarets.
l think l got you now, Steve
I
just trying to have little fun with
you"
You're a funny fellow, all right,
but the trouble is that you don't tell
your audience when the laughs are
supposed to be let loose"
What l started to tell you was that
l met George in Springfield last Tues
day. His wife came down from Chi
cago to join him. She had the two
kids with her. They were on their
way to a resort to spend a couple of
weeks. George has a pretty tough
battle. He's a commission man, and
there isn't much doing in this line
this summer. Didn't he tell you he
was married? Very thoughtless Of
him. l wouldn't knock George for
anything in the world, but l don't
approve of statesmen who go about
the country hoOdwinking nice girls
like you into believing they are single
when they have families back home
George and l have been friends for
years, and your case is the first one
I ever knew where he didn't tell the
truth about himself That's proof,
grille, that he thinks a whole lot of
you"
- shall severely chastise George for
his duplicity the next time he visits
our beautiful city. Anyway, he hasn't
asked me to marry him yet We have
only gotten to the stage where he has
asked me what kind of furs I favor.
OF course winter is d far ways off,
and he might suffer a lapsatiOn Of
memory before the weather changes.
Anyway, I am not at all worried. Of
course you are not married?"
Me? Gaze into my happy counte-
nance. You'll find the answer there.
I'm as free as the air you breathe,
little sunshine"
Cut that sunshine stuff" warned
the Girl. Cant you see ! have fan
operating behind me to keep me from
being overcome by the heat Call me
Merry Sunshine in the winter, if you
feel that way about it. But I'll stand
for nothing but Dottie SNOWFALL in the
summer"
I feel sorry for those poor geeks
LndC nave 10 run nome every saturday
to help mother battle the kids l have
thought often of matrimony, but it's
serious business, and a man ought to
approach it with both eyes and ears
open. Now, take a sensible sort like
you"
Say, man, take your foot off that
lullaby pedal. Il you and 1 are to keep
on speaking terms don't begin soft
ening"
"Oh. you've got a regular fellow.
huh? ?"
Not necessarily a regular. A sort
of once-in-awhile"
whats his name?"
"IgnatZ."
"IgnatZ what?'
"IgnatZ Mccarthy"
Sounds like a policeman"
Nope. He drives an ice wagon. ,
Hos nv summer follow. Whom he |