The Coconino sun., 1916-10-13
FlNNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
On The Merry Go Eao und.

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 Faith an now Wilson's for pro- tection. Four year agone he was agin 1t, for 1t was agin the constychooshun. Now that he is for 1t, that immortal insthrument A8s also changed its mind. He makes me head shwim.
 But I've good company. Bryan an Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats, and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfists an the vulgar sowls that's none Too Proud to Fight'--they've all been on the Merry-go-round, Some iv thim turned sick.
 "'God bless ye-yere a good man. but ye make me dizzy" says Bryan, leppin' from the Hobby-Horse and run min for the woods. I've ginywine raygrit at losin' ye.' says Wudthrow throwin' him Cooked Hat iv the vim tage of 1909.
 Here's the Army bill," says Garri son. How does 1t suitr he axes,
 Fine, says Wudthrow, barrin' a few changes. Yen redraw it. he says, to provide says he, voluntary universal service in Federal Mi llishy,' says he, 'conthrolled be the states, says he; an recruited be spiritual com-pulsion,' says be. II sbud be nayther too large nor too small says he; or maybe both, he says; an the ammynition,' says he must be nayther too much, nor too little, says he. I've to see Hay, be- fore decide the daytales. for tis me jooty to kape an open mind says Wudthrow. @
 Stop the music and lave me off, says Garrison. Are ye crazy or am IF Garrison moans, layin' on his back an gazin' wildly at tn sky. God bless ye,' says Wudthrow I've near-real raygrit at losin' you he says. And as Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry. go-Round plays a side step.
 "'Fwhat iv the Navy says Kitchin. It shud be thur'y adequate iyry- where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex- cept in Montany, where we need no Navy says he. and In St. Louey. where 1t shud be the biggest in the world. We'll be none eIthrayagant like thin Raypublicans, says he, so here's the Dimycrat bill yell pass, ! says he.
 But this same is the Raypubli- cans bill,' says Kitchin starin'. Yen go an pass it, says Wudthrow, pound l ing the desk. 'Hooray, says the black Republicans votin' for the bill Do dream says Kitchin. If I iver drank, I'd t'tink I was boozed,' says Kitchln in thremblin' vice. And he falls off.
 How about the Army bill.' axes Hay.
 Through an instant preparation 1 for defnse must be the wurd,' says eye.
 "'I have here a bill says Hay. pro vidin' for an increase iv five hundther men year for twinty year. he says; 'an' amynishun for six hours acksun, he says; twill make us safe from ! maddygasker. measles, muckrakin' milit-rism and marital infldility,' he says, am we'll catch Willy before he dies av he doant die before we catch ! him. says Hay.
 "'Embrace me- says Wilson. oh Hay - afther all preparedness is a or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give ye a Jobr he axes. stoppin' short like.
 "'Divil wan says Hay. Thin says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv l Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri- otic service in so bravely sipportin' me policies, he says. in all their phrases he says: T make a judge iv ye'he.' says he, as well as yer frind that ye put in the Joker. says the Prisidint. 'Howly Saints. says the preparation S'nitors.
 "'Ph-what does this mean at all at allT they axes. I've the wan thrack mind says the Presidint, am ye go all through me train iv thought before ye come to the pork car,' says he. Are ye onT axes the Apostle iv Com. mon Counsels
 "We're on,' says the Sinitors, fall. ing of. An the Merry -go-round plays Wilson Waltz (which ye know, lawn, Is wan step forward, two steps back, hesitate and sidestep). An Tumulty goes out to spread the glad tidin's that the preparation p'rade will be led be the Presidint in person.
 "'How does he save his facer asked Malumphy.
 "'Wid his mouth, responded Finne- gan dryly.