davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02

r.bly busy-about what? So far as the
eye can see, about notNing in particular
A man with telephone at his elbow, a
flattopped desk with metal basket hold
ing dozen letters perhaps, a photo
graph of the mans wife in a silver frame
at one end of the desk, and that is all.
But if the cell is a large one, sometimes
reaching the dimensions of an entire
floor in a skyscraper block, the desks,
telephones, metal baskets and photo
graphs are indefinitely multiplied. The
substantialities of business are not
the beams, casks, boxes and bales which
you recall being hauled toward quaint
little wharfs on toy trucks driven by
men in Jumpers and shovel hats in the
pictures in your school geography la
beled commerce BY externals there is
no way of telling whether the man at
the desk is engaged in selling stocks and
bonds, or wooden remnants, or railway
accessories, or trusts and mergers, or
theatre tickets. There is lacking the con-
rooms-the heavy .ledgers, whose bulk
suggested the raw materials of traffic.
the clerks on their high stools. the hustle
Of orders given and taken. The heavy
ledgers have been replaced by filing cabi-
nets, whose purpose seems as much deco
rative as useful. Your business office
might as we'll be the catalog room of
college library.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
HOTEL LOBBIES
Politics Zinc Diversion

We Americans get wrought up over
campaigns prior to the election, but as
soon as the vote is counted, we find that
1t really did not make so much differ
ence who was elected after ALL" said T.
II. Rennie of Pell City. who was in Bir-
mingham last night. "Our sense of
humor comes to our rescue and we take
the result with the best Of good nature.
AS matter of fact, we learn that the
world rolls along much the same no
matter who is elected President or who
happens to be the probate judge of the
county.
When the presidential candidate of
some other man defeats the man 1 favor,
do not think he has any the advantage
of me. We both live under the same
chief executive. If he is a good one,
he is as good for me as for the other
fellow. If he is bad one, what he Goes
is no more hurtful to me than to the
man who supported him.
I'VE all like politics and it offers some
fine diversion. When the election is over,
we usually pay our bets, joke the other
fellow or accept his taunts and it is all
over. However, 1 am afraid that this
will not be true with women. The harsh
things said in political campaigns will
leave sting with them in most cases.
and they will not be so ready to forgive
and forget. At least, that the way it
seems to me-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
NEW KIND OF RESTAURANT

ended. Few restaurants take into 40
count the diet of the man who would eat
and grow thin If he seeks a simple
table d'hote lunch at his club or nearby
restaurant, the waiter cruelty brings
soup, probably the very kind of which
ha has the fondest memories. Imme-
diately there ensues struggle, which
only too often results in a completes
capitulation to the soup with self
promise that the dereliction shall not
occur again. Then there are those roofs
(ah, do you remember themD and that
thick crusted rye bread arrayed against
you and what's this-the waiter has just
placed against you that rich
country butter which formerly merged
it's pastoral sweetness with the
staff of life. And those potatoes SO
crisply brown! Thus the battle continues
would grow thin by discrimination among
his foods. The surrender doubtless
would be complete were it not for the
friend, SO called, who meets you as you
are stealing away from soup, rolls, but
ter and potatoes, and asks you how
many pounds you have gained in the past
week.
Won't somebody start an Eat and
Grow Thin" restaurant where the man
of plump figure and attenuated will may
eat without temptation from his former
Sicens? We guarantee at least one "ul-
innate consumer as = customer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

Other people seem to believe that
one good turn deserves a dozen others.
When some men take day off they
look as though they had put a year on.
If you really want to find out if a
girl can sing don't ask her mother,
ask the neighbors
We believe in adve1 Using. But the
other day we saw a bowlegged girl
leadlra a dachshund along the street.
When you stop to figure that people
ore measured almost solely by their
faults, you'll have to admit that they
make a pretty good showing.
There isn't any such thing as in
compatibility. Every married couple
should know that 1t is absolutely inn
possible for any two normal human
beings to agree all the time, so they
should fuss and make up and for
get 1t.
Every time an old-fashioned
nlotherly woman sees a 16-year- old
princess with paint on her face she
feels like turning the princess over
her knee and giving her good spank
ing.
When man starts to brag about
what he is going to do tomorrow, just
ask him what he did yesterday, and he
will shut up.
girl hasn't any business wearing
yellow stockings with a green dress
unless she wants to remind the men OF
a chicken salad
They may talk about mans inhu-
mainly to man. But we would hate
to be a woman and be tried before a
jury of that sex.
Always try to remember that things
won't come your way until you have
started them in that direction.
| A normal woman wants to be ad-
mired by all men and loved by one.
| The woman who has a husband who
| looks like two cents worth of nothing
| always hates to see him go down towr
| in the morning, because she knows
that the world is filled with 'schemins
| blondes and gay chorus girls who are
| trying to snare him away from her.
The oldfashioned girl who used t.
blush at everything she didn't under
stand now has a daughter who 1.
studying sex knowledge as part O.
1 her school course.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
From the Cincinnati Times-star.

From the Cincinnati Times-Star.
R0HERE is a book called Eat and
Grow Thin" Every fat man got
q about five copies from .derisively
helpful friends last Christmas. 1t is a
nice book, compact and readable and a
very convincing injunction not to partake
of many things. The principal entries in
the index expurgatorius are potatoes,
bread and butter, SOUP pork in any form
and corn.
OF course, corn on the cob affords the
principal difference of opinion between
the author and the reader. Corn is a
product that was here and nowhere else
when Columbus discovered our fertile
soil. Any true blooded American, espe-
cially in these times of America first,
would make an exception of our patriotic
MAIZE But the practical difficulties OF
resisting the other banned articles Of
food are great First of all. there is
that penchant for hot bread and melting
butter, probably inherited from ancestors
who originally settled in Kentucky.
Crisp bacon or farm sausage and the
concomitant buckwheat cake at break
fast also cause a struggle and send you
to work wearied by self-control when
you should approach your desk with a
morning freshness.
After you have conquered your matu-
final predictions and have reduced your
hraa Y fa Of To a. c1In of coffee and a Sis
picion of fruit, your troubles are not
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02

pended upon to make it large issue
in the Sixty-fifth Congress. One fea-
ture of his measure as outlined in
The Age-Herald's Washington CORE
spondence yesterday should be
changed-the minimum age limit.
Twelve is too young for the cadet
corps. Fifteen or sixteen would be
young enough.
The ultrapacifists will be on hand
to oppose any legislation which they
think might tend to militarism. The
people of this country have no idea
of indorsing a military service that
would burden the nation with huge
standing army; but universal training
does not mean anything of the sort.
lie seems next to impossible to fill
the ranks of the regular establish
IHeHL much dDONe IlS 1VVJVuV uelA NJ
The standard of enlistment is SO high
mentally, morally and physically that
comparatively few of those who offer
themselves are accepted. The adj
mirable personnel of the United States
army makes for efficiency, of course,
but the numerical deficiency is get
ting to be matter of grave concern.
1t may be many years before this
country has to defend itself against
a foreign foe, but no one can tell. II
national preparedness was thought to
be the imperative need a few months
ago it is still real need.
Universal training for young men
must come sooner or later. Instead Of
developing a thirst for blood short
term Of military service would prove
a splendid discipline for American
youth and would at the same time
make for peace.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
RUMANIA'S SIXTH CITY

eral large rope and carriage factories To-
Gated here, and the salt mines of the
vicinity are profitably worked. The town
has shown a steady growth for the last
quarter of century until now, with
$1,000 inhabitants, it is the sixth city of
the nation. 1t is 112 miles west of
Bucharest, 40 miles north of the Danube
at Rahova, and is the most important
station on the railway line of 237 miles be-
tween the Hungarian border town OF
Verciorova (beyond the iron gates and
the Rumanian capital
"Craiova was the Castro Nova of the
Remonas during their their occupation
place played an important role. 1t was
here that the Wallachian prince Mircea
the Old defeated the Turkish Sultan
Bayezid l. in 1897. Two hundred years
later the most famous of Walachia's
chieftains, Michael the Brave, held sway
coming prince not only of Wallachia but
of Moldavia and Pennsylvania as well,
thus for brief period uniting under one
ruler the whole Rumanian people, the
end for which modern Rumania is fight
ing today.
THE leu, which is the standard of
value in Rumania, was first coined in
Craiova. 1t derives its name from the
figure of a lion stamped on the early
coins. Its value is equal to that of the
French franc 10 cents and fraction).
"Craiova was for centuries the capital
of Little Wallachia, that division of
the country lying between the Alt
(Aluta) river and the Hungarian and
Servian boundaries to the west.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
Sarah Bernhardt

DisIikes Skyscrapers
MMADAM SARAH BERNHARDT
GVU does not like our American
skyscrapers. She says, through an in
terpreter, "they spoil the sky" She
also thinks that in twenty years IAN
outraged sense of public fitness OF
things" will cause the tall buildings OF
America-our business beehives-to
be torn down.
Being an artist, with the soul of a
dozen ordinary artists, it is no wonder
that the madam dislikes our archl-
tectural monstrosities. There are
many people who live and have their
being in the shadows of skyscrapers
who have never learned to admire
such structures, although quick to
grant their utility.
The skyscraper is typical of Ameri-
ca. 1t is characteristic of land where
the pursuit Of dollars is the chief end
of existence. 1t concentrates business
and saves time, but from an esthetic
point of view the skyscraper has lit
tie. to commend it.
Madam Bernhard is wrong, how
ever, in thinking that our tall office
buildings will be torn down at the end
of twenty years, nor yet at the end
of forty years, regardless of their
tendency to spoil the sky" They are
put up for a strictly unitarian pur-
pose and it will be long, long time
before the average American will be
willing to sacrifice utility for mere
beauty, if the change involves any
Financial loss to him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02

M
WW 1.-(SpeciaL )-Craiova (also
spelled Krajova), which has
fallen before the Austro-German
forces invading Rumania by way of
the jul valley. through the Vulcan pass,
is the subject of the following war
geography bulletin issued by the National
Geographic society:
THE fall Of Craiova is a severe blow
to Rumania, for, in addition to being
an important railway center, it is the
eadquarters of the First Army corps,
the seat of a military academy, and of
great Importance is the fact that here is
located an immense tannery which sup
plies the Rumanian army with it's
leather
1.-THE country surrounding Craiova is
not excelled in fertility anywhere in the
kingdom. The town is in the center of
the Wallachian wheat lands, and the
truck gardens of the region are highly
productive, while the forests which clothe
the adjacent uplands make it an impor-
tant timber depot. A branch railway
conveys these products to the Danube at
Calafat, some-50 miles to the southwest
in an airline. The jul river which
rises in the Carpathians beyond the Ru-
manian border. flowing south and en-
tering the Danube opposite the Bulgarian
town of Rahova after course of 200
miles, passes mile or two to the west
Of Craiova.
while trade in cereals, leather and
lumber is the chief occupation of the
Craiovans in peace times, there are sew
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02

location of the nitrate plant will be
worth more to the south than any
thing undertaken in the last decade.
"The south is an agricultural sec
ton and depends on the products of
the farmer to keep her wheels OF
progress in motion, and as So per cent
of the nitrate now produced goes into
fertilizer at the present high price II
can readily be seen how bumper crops
can be produced with cheap fertilizer
being made at our very door
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
Much Talked About

Birmingham is the talk of the north.
]. A. Lindner of Carlisle, Pa, is spon-
sor for the statement. Throughout
Pennsylvania and the east, I have heard
Birmingham talked SO much that 1 have
determined to see why. But after re-
viewing the district here, I am frank to
confess that they have had justification
for their optimism.
1T seems almost amazing to think that
any country should have such rare COM
binations of natural resources. 1t is the
opinion in the east that Birmingham will
become the greatest town in the SOUTH
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
Col. Roosevelt Explains
the Election Result

WRlTING for the Christmas num-
Wv Der of the Metropolitan mag
hzine, Col. Theodore Roosevelt, refer
ring to the recent presidential election,
hays: Gas in all such cases, the result
Is more easy to explain than it had
been to foretell. The appeal made for
Mr.. Wilson was one which would tell
very strongly with good, honest citi
kens whose preoccupation with their
own pursuits was such that they could
not be expected to look deeply into our
International relations and the general
world conditions. This appeal was in
It's essence that we should vote for
Mr.. Wilson because he had kept US out
Of war and because we were prosper
Gus. 1t would have been highly cred
table to the average man if he had
possessed the vision and disinterested-
ness to disregard such an appeal; but
the fact that he did not disregard it
merely means that we were not able
to make the issue clear to his eyes,"
sN Colonel Roosevelt presumes that we
I that is we who did not vote the re-
publican ticket-regard the atrocities
in Belgium, the chaos in Mexico, the
sinking of the Lusitania and other de-
plorable happenings due directly OF in
directly to the European war "as
a. BUS to disasters such as an
u 6quake or a fire." calling fe.-
mpathy of course, but not requ-4-
ing us to jeopardize our own interests
in relief work. He also gives the
Adamson law due credit for influ-
encing the labor vote, although, speak
ing generally, the labor vote was not
ssdelivered."
Naturally, in accounting for Mr..
Wilson's reelection, Colonel Roose-
velt ignores all the great constructive
work done by the Wilson administra-
zion. Nothing of the sort is mentioned
= in.his article. Until this year prospect
las been the favorite slogan of the
,ublicans, but when the democrats
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
SONNET xxx

BY Shakespeare.
When to the sessions of sweet, silent
thought
I summon up remembrance Of things
sigh the lack of many thing l
sought.
And with old woes new wall my dear
times waste;
Then can I drown an eye, unused to
flow,
For precious friends hid in deaths
dateless night,
And weep afresh loves long since can
celed woe,
And moan the expense of many a
vanished sight,
Then can I grieve at grievances fore
gone.
And heavily from woe to woe tell
DER
The sad account of fore-bemoaned
moan,
Which now pay as if not paid be-
fore,
But if the while I think on thee, dear
friend,
All losses are restored and sorrows
end
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

IN TOUCH WITH CIVILIZATION
Did you have any difficulty in under
standing the natives?"
no" replied the explorer. Other
white men had visited those parts before
me- I could easily understand by the
signs the natives made that what they
wanted was cheap whisky"
JUST THE THING
Il must get present for grand
mother"
Us she the old-fashioned kind or up
to-date?"
strictly modern"
How about hundred perfumed
cigarettes?"
IN ARREARS
Poor Jibwayr'
Whats the matter with hm?'
HE wants to own an automobile and
never passes a salesroom thai. he doesn't
east yearning looks inside"
"Umph! He's better off than some
people who are afraid to pass by certain
automobile salesrooms because they
haven't finished paying for their cars"
DISCONNECTED
We've studied the reformer
And this. conclusion reach:
He mourns his lot when he is not
Allowed to make a speech.
PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
SOUND MONEY MAKES

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
"On Wednesday evening Frank A. Van
derlip, president of the National City
bank, made a statement which should
ring through the country" says the New
ment should "clinlk'' through the coun-
trv
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02

use it, it is horse of another color.
That the President has kept us out
of war no doubt exerted a strong SEN
timental appeal, but there were many
other reasons contributing to the de-
feat of Mr.. Hughes, which are not
mentioned by the colonel.
There was distrust of Mr.. Hughes,
distrust of the colonel himself and
particularly of those "old guard" re-
publicans with whom he trained, after
laying about him SO vigorously when
he was the progressive nominee. Peo-
pie who were not too absorbed in their
own affairs to take broader view of
things, had no assurance that the re-
publicans, if returned to power, would
make better job of handling our in
ternational affairs than the Wilson
administration has done. The repub-
licans did not have strong case 70
begin with. The plumbers of Mr..
Hughes and his advisers, particularly
in California, made a bad situation
worse.
Mr.. Wilson won a personal victory,
but there was also a conviction among
the majority of those who voted for
him that he had done as we'll as any
human being could have done in meet
ing the problems with which he was
confronted and on his record deserved
to be reelected.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02

BEGINNING THE DAY-O great
God, L feel my frailty. 1 know my
tendency to stray. I am aware of the
tragic weakness of my flesh. what
cam 1 do but cling to III &c: To whom
shall L turn but to nay GOds Lead
me. hold me, keep me safe. For
Christ's sake. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
Steel Rails For
Year After Next

ear 2AtGGT Next
| a CTIVITY in the iron and steel
GA industry shows no signs of flag
ging. On the contrary the demand
for pig metal and steel products
grows stronger all the while. Rails
for 1918 delivery are already being
contracted for, and it is believed that
early in the new year the output of
the rail mills will be sold for eighteen
months forward.
In 1914, when industrial depression
was acute, the outlook for the steel
trade could not have been more I'M
promising. The railroads needed new
equipment, but most of them were in
such poor financial condition that they
could do nothing in the way of physi-
cal betterments. When the change in
the financial world did come improve
ment was soon felt in all branches of
business, but in none so unmistak-
ably as in the steel industry. Before
the last quarter of 1915 iron and steel
plants were operating practically at
full capacity and throughout the pres
ent year nearly every month has wit
messed new high record in produc-
ton.
There have been booms before, but
never has The steel trade, which is
naturally a safe business barometer,
enjoyed such boom as it has had this
year. In the time to come 1916 will
be looked backed to as one of the
epochal years in the industrial world.
Not only has production been pro-
digious, but prices have been higher
than ever. Wages have been advanced
by the corporations voluntarily; and
the best of it is this wonderful pros
perity is here to stay for an indefinite
period.
The Birmingham district is sharing
fully in the iron and steel boom and
the future of this city is brighter now
than it ever was before.
A bogus prince has been arrested in
| Italy for beating hotel bills. How
ever conduct of that kind doesn't al
ways distinguish the bogus prince from
| the real article.
So many people are dieting these
days that there is going to be a sharp
! tablets.
| Chancellor Won Hollwes
shares with the Kaiser the belief thai
the Almighty is still aiding the Teu-
tons.
Now that the football season is over
some of the bridron stars will devote
more or less time to their textbooks.
| "Blood soaked traffic with Europe
is a phrase that certain sorts of agita
tors like to roll on their tongues.
Mr.. Bryan should cheer up. He will
not live to see the democratic part.
buried in a drunkard's grave.
Some of the food kings" erstwhil
so arrogant, are now acting as If thei
toes had been stepped on.
No matter what happens venizelo
will probably never get a chance t.
tweak the Kaiser's nose.
The woman who expects limousin
for Christmas present isn't going t
hang up her stocking.
Germany is still talking about peace
but the allies show no desire to poin i
the conversation.
| * e
"Pancho' Villa has demonstrate
rather convincingly that he is able t
come back"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
ART

A mermaid of the movies,
With fine contempt for clothes,
Sits on a rock beside the sea
And strikes a lovely pose.
The camera keeps clicking
Her beauty to portray,
And everyone opines twill be
A wondrous photoplay.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-12-02
FEAsT1NG BY PROXY

did you enjoy your Thanksgiving tur-
key?"
NO" replied the poor, but optimistic
citizen. Il didn't have one, but the fumes
that issued from my neighbours kitchen
were the richest 1 ever inhaled"
A GAsTRoNOMIC MARTYR
What are you doing to reduce the high
cost of living?'
I'm trying to cultivate liking for
rice pudding, and it's about the hardest
job 1 ever tackled"
NONE WHATEVER
That figure of speech. AS snug as a
bug in rug is out of date
Perhaps"
I'm sure of it. What chance does a
bug in a rug stand nowadays against a
vacuum cleaner?'
A RESPITE
I'm thankful for this weather mild"
Said William Arthur Bole;
1.-THE last cold snap most drove me wild,
But now I'm saving coal.'