The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-11-01
FINNEGARs PHILOSOPHY
on the Msry.oe.Round.


sFaith an now wilson's fos pfo-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
It, for 1t was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he Is for II, that immortal
Instrument has also changed 1ts
mind. He makes me head shwim.
"But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats. the Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight-they've all been on
the Merry.go-round. Some " thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're a good man,
but ye make me dizzy, says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run.
MIN for the woods. I've a Ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
throwin' him Cocked.Hat " the win.
tage Of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL says CARR.
son. How does It suItT he axes.
"'Fine,' says Wudthrow, 'barrln' a
few changes Yell redraw It, he
says. to provide says he, 'volun.
tary universal service in a Federal
Milishy,' says he, controlled be the
states says he; AN recruited be
spiritual com-pulslon,' says he. 1T
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; 'or maybe BOTH he
says: an the ammynltion.' says he,
must be naythcr too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore decide the daytales, for tbs me
j'Ooty To kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop tho music and lave me. OFT,
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
II? Garrison means. layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
&C. says wudthrow I've near-real
-nygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry.
Go-Round plays side step.
"'F'what " the NavyT says Kitchin.
1t shud be thruly adequate ivry
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex.
cept In Montany, where we need no
Navy says he. and in st. Louey,
where It shud be the biggest In the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, sc
here's the Dlmycrat bill yell pass,
says he.
"'But this same Is the RaypublI.
cans BILL says Kitchln starin'. Yell
go an pass It, says Wudthrow, pound.
Ing the desk. 'Hooray.' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
dream says Kitchin. IL liver
drank, I'd t'lnk ! was boozed,' says
Kitchin in tllrembIln' vice. And he
falls of.
"How about the Army binr axes
Hay.
"'Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must he the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution In his
eye.
~ have here bill,' says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase " five hundther
men year for twinty year. he says {;
nm amynishun for six hours ackshun,
he says. twill make us safe from
Maddygasker, measles, muckrakln',
milit-rism and marital inGdellty.' he
says, AN Wen catch Willy before he
dies nv he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
Embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay-afthcr all preparedness Is a
matther " the heart an not Of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivIr give We
a job? he axes, stoppin' short like.
".Divil AVIAN says Hwy. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both "
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otto service in so bravely sipportin'
me policies, he says. In all their
phrases he says. I make a Judge "
ye'he,' says he. as well as yer frind
TINT We put IN the Joker says the
Prisidint. 'Howly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Ph'what does this mean at all
ut all? they axes. I've the wan
thrnck mind says the President. an
we go all through me train " thought
before &c come to the pork car says
he. Are We on? axes the Apostle ~
Common Counsels.
"'We're on says the Slnitors, fall
ing Off. An the Merry CO. Round plays
Wilson Waltz, (Which We know,
Jawn. Is wan step forward, two steps
back, hesitate an sldestep). An Tu.
multy goes out to spread the glad
tidin's that the preparation p'rade will
be led be the Presidint in person.
"How does he save his facet" asked
Malumphy.
avid his mouth" responded Finne-
gan dryly.