davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
Ripping Rhymes
BY WALT MASON
THE HARDEST JOB.

What is the hardest job. you ask
the most excruciating task2 Go. ask
the sad and heartsick jay who loses on
election day. You know how bitterly
he fought to get the public snap he
sought. For weary weeks ne drilled
around. wherever voters could be
found, and handed hot air to the rubes,
and fiattered all the hicks and boobs.
He spent muck coin he could not spare.
for punk cigars and railway fare, and
all the divers odds and ends that
statesmen think will gain them friends.
He made long and hard campaign;
he toiled around in mud and rain. and
talked his tonsi1s out of whack, and
got lumbago in his back. And when
election day ~as done, he found the
other fellow won. No doubt when he
was all alone, he filed the air with sob
and groan. and cussed the voters, I'M
despair. as being chumps beyond com
pare. But on the street he wore 4 grin,
as though he'd really hate to win. To
try and hide ones crouch and bile, be-;
Lind a large three-cornered smile 70
spring a laugh when one would Sob
| that surely is the hardest job.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
RANN.D0N REELS
RI MGaIHUsu. Ram 1,o S
OF shoes md ships IND esin8 wax -d caboaSe5. Mn8s
THE DIAGNOSIS.

The diagnosis Is something which
takes place just before ii is decided to
operate on the purse and person Of Che
patient
Medical science ms made wonderful
strides in this country in the last fifty
years, but when it introduced the
yeven- day diagnosis 20 suffering con-
stitucncy II took a great load off the
minds Of millions OF sufferers and
also increased the sale Of doctors
cOupelets- Before the searching. fine
tooth-comb diagnosis was put on the
market few people knew what was the
matter with them. Thousands Of pa
tents were treated for something they
did not have and were given medicine
which did not fit any better than
cravenette coat on a bird dog. This
created great dissatisfaction. and
caused the medical fraternity 10 pc
referred to in slighting terms by people
who paid out good money to be cured
Of some ailment which belonged to
near neighDor.
1t takes time to make good dag
nosis, and il should never be attempted
unless the patient Ia IN the best Of
health and has called in all Of his
loans. The modern diagnosis starts
with the soles of the feet and winds
up with the discovery OF whistling
noise in the top of the head. All OF the
symptoms which the patient carries
about with him are collected together
and shaken vigorously. after which he
is pinched, slapped, pounded, rolled,
probed and pumped until he begins to
realize that under certain circum-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

tiently enduring the pain and stress OF
refractory flesh; no part OF the human
body and mind escaped: crushed and
mangled and torn and shocked. and
suffering, taught like children to use
lost muscles and vacant minds again
the flower of European manhood dis
played itself shattered and destroyed
in the carnival of blood lust, sent back
by cruelty To the care and skill of the
mercifu! And the comparatively few
figures on the films were as to the mil
a drop is to an ocean, spark TO hell,
But If the films brought home the
horror of war they also accentuatcd
the humanitarian side of human nature.
Skill and caution and infinite tender
ness was written on every foot of the
films as they Elected past. Marvellous
work by surgeons, human machines re-
paired that they might live and still
give service to themselves and others,
de = rate operations. wonderful things
done, bones supplied. underjaws build
ed, ears modelled and made TO supply
losses, care, help wisdom, skill, all that
human interest and hope and supreme
kindness could give was offered freely.
1t was a most interesting and en-
tightening exhibition. Perhaps some Of
those unaccustomed to the scenes COM
mon to surgeons and physicians and
nurses found it somewhat gruesome.
But it was not grueSome, it was PLAIN
fact. naked truth. things as they are
and over il all was the light of true
human charity" the greatest of these.
incidentally tic the laymanl the
faithfulness with which certain opera
tons We're reproduced suggests that
the moving picture has become of
great assistance in surgery and training
of nurses and attendants.
But the strdent. insistent impression
the films gave was inescapable-WRE
is crime.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
s0xE DIFFERENT WAR FILMS.

The Marshall County Medical society
and It's guests last evening saw moving
pictures OF the medical and surgical
side Of the European war the sights Of
the hospitals and the patients in them
and the ma gnifcent work Of surgeons
in patching up the wrecks of manhood
Perhaps the doctors were most deeply
Interested in the splendid accomplish
ment Of the surgeons and the methods
OF treatment; but neither they nor the
laymen who We're their guests failed TO
receive lasting impression of the ut
ter horror and waste Of war and TO re-
alize that war is the most heinous crime
%. siIs- f,.,- ri me .sri;- eGG u tie
bloodguiitiness Of nations that provoke
1t. or wage war unless N defense Of the
rights Of mankind.
The audience sat in silence while the
professions of human wrecks passed
on the screen. Thefe were pitifui pro-
cessions of men with shattered nerves,
men who shook and trembIed from
head to foot. VINO mopped and moved
as they crippled past. men with bodies
distorted and spines twisted. mer
whose feet and arms were drawn into
knots and victims Of shell rock wht
stared and gogglea In blank idiocy;
men with faces shot away and repaired
by the skill of the plastic surgeon ant
mechanical skill and inyeat:veness
men with gaping sIirapnel wounds pa
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
THE COMING IMmlGRANT.

A revision of the immigration laws
will be attempted il congress this win
ter and the advocates of the literacy
test will make an effort TO include it in
the revised law.
The literacy test has been argued
from congress TO the cross roads de-
batting society. The question is still
open 10 be denounced as illogical and
impractcable by some and approved
by others.
But the literacy test is not of high
est Importance in the revision OF i'm
migration laws if there is to be re-
vision The close Of the war will leave
Europe burdened with incompetent
manhood We shall he plagued with
an immigration Of incompetents if his
tory does not fail to repeat itself. The
kindly custom of putting the requisite
s25 in the pockets of those who are
ready - become p&biic charges and
furnishing them transportation 70
-tIhcl 4tSh iihN hH'4hSiN ~ ~ iN'''SN'
again.
But there is slight danger Of an oVe'
imm grafton of healthy labor and We
need healthy labor willing 10 do the
cheap and hard jobs that American la
Dor refuses II does not seem likely
that we shall receive too much Of the
RICH; class of immigration. 1t will
find itself wanted at home. encouraged
TO remain there and perhaps refused
permission TO emigrate.
An immigrant is not necessarily an
undesirable because ne is illiterate. IL
IS true that ilnterates are not the most
desirable citizens and il IS also true
that some who would pass the literacy
test readily are most undesirable.
The main things to be considered are
The health. industry and thrift Of the
There Is a vast amount OF
raw work to be done by new imm!-
grants, work that the American refuses
20 do and that the children of the i'm
N. grant VIII shun.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

! many other places all over this and
other states. are beautiful natural
groves, that stin retain much Of their
original beauty. IT seems to me that
each neighborhood that is fortunate
enough TO have one Of these natures
beauty spots, owes to themselves an
the future population the preservation
of these wonderful playgrounds never
to be restored if once DESTROYED. What
man or woman, who loves nature,
wouldn't give something if able. to
such cause? Under proper snpervi-
sion they certainly would be a delight
to most people. whether they We're
touring the country in twin-six or
titney lived just over the way. or near
enough so they could load the good
wife, the lads and lassies into any old
rig. and know when they arrived there
would be a welcome instead OF '-No
trespassers allowed" staring them IN
the face. On a trip TO the Pacific coast,
last year these mo trespassing" signs
made one tired many times especially
when there was nothing in sight TO
trespass on. Some time ago the
Times Republican mentioned the prop
ostion OF throwing open Riverside
park, at Marshalltown, for tourists and
camping parties. Do it. That is with \
certain restrictions, to respectable peo-
pie. AT Salt Lake City. last year. in
one of their finest parks, Liberty I
think, were camped many tourists from |
several parts of the, United States. and
they were welcome. At Ashland, Ore,
another beautiful park welcomed the
tourist, but driving into Boise Idaho,
late one evening. tired and dirty, look
ing in vain for q spot TO camp for the
night, being sent by a policeman to a
fine camping spot 10 find on arriving
there a few vacant lots used fer =
horse market. and so dirty that our
party tired and dirty as we were and |
used 10 all kinds of camping sites. |
baked DIT this one. We We're leaving |
the city Disguised, when We met a |
former Marshall county man, Mr. |
Lane. from near Green Mountain. who |
sent us out near his place in the coune-
try for the night. Such experiences I
make one feel like praising one place I
and shying around the other, So il
seems like your proposition Of welcom-
ing tourists and Others 10 Your park
ought 10 be good for your city as wei !
as for the welcomed A subscriber.
Ellis Lepley.
Beaman, Iowa.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
When Oil Wa. Free.

The first reference to the discovery
% petroleum in America was con-
tanned in a letter written in 1929 by
Joseph de 10 Roche d'Allion. French
missionary working among the In
dams. He had crossed the Niagara
river and made his way southwark
thru western New York into northern
PENNSYLVANIA, where ne found spring
from which oil flowed. This son was
highly esteemed by the Indians for
medical uses.
The letter OF the priest was pub
iished in 1852 in Sagard's 'Histoire
Gu Canada" This oil spring was
probably identical with the one de-
scribed by the Massachusetts Maya
zine in 1883. Tn the northern part Of
Pennsylvania there is creek called
Oil creek which empties into the
Allegheny river. 1t issues from
spring on the top OF which floats an oil
similar to THAI called Barbadoes tar,
and from which one may gather sew
eral gallons day. The troops sent TO
guard the western posts halted at the
same spring. collected some OF the oil
and bathed their joints with 1t. This
gave them great relief from the rheu-
matism with which they were at
Ficted' n
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
\ NEW CLINTON.
Eirjtutnu Herald

When the Clinton city council last
nigtt accepted the plans Of the North
western railway company for its Sii''-
ton improvements and adopted the
ordinance making those improvements
possihle. Clinton vas pat IN the way
of becoming a new Clinton, at least to
the thousands upon thousands oil
travellers who annually pass through
the city over the lines of the various
railways entering Clinton.
What wonderful impression those
temporary visitors viii get as they pass
over modern subways.i with not grade
crossing for a mile, within the heart
OF the city, stop at modern station
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
Topics of the Times


Contemplation of the rising prices
brings the cheering thought that sal
walton is free--but that's about the
only thing that is.
Some historian points out that
Horatus Coolies was the first known
winner of big prize at a bridge party.
Well. what price Christmas turkeys
If the peace party desires 10 make
an impression general exhibition of
The clinical films Of French hospitals
will go d great dea! farther and bring
more back than Mr. Ford's 500. 600
peace ship.
Another excellent Christmas sugges-
ton: Let's resolve 10 keep sweet and
love our neighbor~ some during the
next three weeks any way.
Somewhere in town and IN 9 Con-
siderable number of somewheres
there's little kid that VIII fail Of
Christmas unless somebody makes it.
Certainly you'd chip IN hut why not
find rhe kid and have the fun all aione2
Time the war ceased ali right enough
and after It's over and before foolish
nations stir up another lets get those
international statutes revised 10 pre-
vent any nation al var taking over the
trade and the mails end the business
OF neutral nations
A bunch of spectators bought herds
II wild horses from wise guy who
came along selling wild horses AS they
run" What's the difference They d
probably have lost il tn fake horse
race if they hadn't given i to the horse
guy. As it IS they got title TO the
horses, All they have 70 DO IS to catch
them.
Anyhow that az cent piece would
make il easier for two boys 10 split a
nickel.
Now that the Jones case is laid aside
The Montgomery county people can go
10 Christmasing.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

worst crimes. is becoming quite com
mon and it must cease.
Who does not know that there are
witnesses before the iuries and before
courts who fail, to give the honest tes-
timony that is due? How can men get
justice when other men lie, In the face
Of their government and their God. So
cievy must he projected from the per
jurer Shall men conceal crime shall
they be the cause Of the innocent being
convicted and 90 unpunished2 Society
ard good government demand that the
periurtr be placed where society is Sc
care from him He is not worthy o.
citizenship a running sore on our body
polite. en- anarchist is a saint ctm-
pared 20 him.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

after long years OF close association
Herewith, he will be allowed to return
home and eat anything that his stom-
ach does not object to.
The beauty of a thorough. PAINS
taking diagnosis Is that when it is over
the patient lis not in fear Of death or
anything else. There IL something
about diagnosis conducted by nine
surgeons with Van Dyke boards which
will reconcile man to anything, unless
it is prompt payment OF the fee.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

In allied quarters in Washington 1t
was stated that the new British minis
try will attempt the complete reduction
of Greece, with recognition of the Ven
izelos government as the legitimate ma
tional authority and the arrest or de-
position of King Constantine.
London dispatches say reports from
and Piraeus. the port of Ath-
ems reiterated emphatically and with
details that the recent attack on the
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
.rRrNcH Guns TeA'NEo on peATus, TIE poRT 81 1HTNs

entente allies in Athens was the result
of n deliberately prepared plot by the
king and his government.
The allies insist that the royalists.
headed by the king, have adopted
permanently bellicose attitude toward
the entente. They say that the mobil-
ization is proceeding rapidly and that
every wariike preparation is in prog
ress, encouraged by the Roumanian
victories and lavish promises from
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
PERJURY THE COURT.

Waterloo Times Tribune.I
sentencing Marshaliiown man, who
boosted of having committed perjury in
case where friend was accused OF
selling liquor contrary TO law. to two
and and one-half years in the federal
III ison. Judge Wade. sitting al Des
Moines. performs service 10 society.
When addressing the defendant the
judge took occa sion II say. where all
may read. that perjury. one OF the
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
Iona Newspapers
Beaman. Iowa
ANY OLD THING GOES.
Fl-s. TI-nH

TUSCALOOSA Herald.
r X. Underwood. of the Underwood
Candy Company, is in receipt Of let
ter from the Bakers, and Crnfectinners
Company. jf New York, which shows
the great demand for sdib!ss OF all
kinds-especiaity in the eastern mar
kets. After describing conditions in
New York and explaining The reason
for high prices The letter adds:
Ii YOU know Of FIVE or ten tons ct
any good, substantial food product that
would be desirable for European con-
sumption. write US at length. regarding
price, etc
TWO hundred pound packages are
preferred. either cases or barrels. Eu-
rope prefers cases
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
Be CAREFUL What
YOU TAKE FOR COLDS
The stinulants

The stimuiants
a n q dangerous
d rug which
many C O u & h
balsams an d
patent medicines
depend on for
their temporary
effect endanger
the health a n d
even the lives OF
those who take
them. Because it
lis free from alco-
h 0 narcotics
and danger o us.
drugs Fat her
Johns Medicine
has had so years
OF success in the
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

treatment OF colds, coughs, throat
troubles and as q tonic and body build
err. Father johns Medicine Ii q HOG
tors prescription pure and whole
some. Guaranteed,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

Germany.
diers occupy all the vantage points
near Athens and Piraeus and are dig
ging trenches and mounting guns The
correspondents say Greek activities
may endanger the success of the entire
allied operations in the Balkans They
urge vigorous allied action Photo
graph shows gun on French battle-
ship trained on Piraeus.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
IOWA OPINION AND NOTES.

Generally the man in town who has
the reputation for the most notorious
and wilful mendacity Is the first fellow
tc call his neighbor a liar" asserts the
.Iason City Globe Gazette.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

The Sioux City Tribune considers II
almost safe guess that w j. Bryan
never again will be candidate for any
elective or appointive office"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

The successor 10 Cummins will not
he chosen for four years. Many things
may happen in the meantime" says
the Council Bluffs NOnpareIl.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

The Waterloo Timeg-Trfoune relates
that: When the barber gives the
ni!kman a 35-cent haircut. there $
nothing said about s-cent milk
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
ELLIS LEPLEYs EXPERIENCE.

In Saturdays Times Republican was
an editorial. entitled, Make the Park,
dealing with the proposition of making
national park along the Mississippi
river near McGreger. Iowa, with the
idea OF making it a resort for campers.
tourists. and everybody Within reach u
il. BY all means, lets have that park,
but why not better that by having
many smaller parks all over this and
other states. within reach OF practically
the whole people, whether they drive a
high priced automobile Ford. span
! OF mules. or even have TO walk Here
at Beaman. also at Conrad. and at
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

Cellulose Is being recovered from
as paragus waste by process devised
by Hamburg chemist.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13
Masonic Meetings.
vjsifors always vseieome

STATED commandments
shall Lodge No. los A. F. & A. NJ. Fiji
day, Dec. Is, 7:S0 p. m. Regular ousl-
ness Election OF officers. John w
Wells, Secretary; b. O.. Frazey. W. NJ.
s,cNET CHAPTER Nc. IS. r. A. N.
Stated convocation Monday evening.
Dec. Is. 1870 O'Clock. Regular business.
Election of officers. carl Shanner' H.
p: John W. Weiiss secretary.
STATED ASSEMBLY. King Solo
mon Council No. 20, R & s. Nj. Mon
day, Dec. Is. REGULAR business ana
election of officers. !. r. Forbes ke-
corder; George Gregory. l. NJ.
STATED coNcLAVE, st. AdemaF
Co.nmandery, No. 80, X. T., TuesoaF'
Dec. 70. $50 p. IN. Regular business
anA election Of officers. / T. Forces
Recorder: H. c. Mueller, Commander
CENTRAL CHAPTER NO. CT. o. {.
A,-Meeting Wednesday, Dec. Is !: 81
NJ. for regular business and election
Of officers. Eliza s Battin, secretary
Cora VI. Mcdowell, W. NJ.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

stances death is a precious boon He
is then Informed that IL he will con-
sent 10 bid farewell TO his appendix,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

There is still much power vested in
Bryan" says the Dubuque telegraph
Herald. and democratic party leaders
who are in a position to realize how
great that power really is are careful
no, 10 offend the man who at the 1920
convention, may hold the nomination
in his hands"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

To the Fort Dodge Messenger 1t
gu-elv looks Ike Bryan at the head u
some kind OF party in 1890"
ut is well enough for congress or
state legislature 10 regulate storage, so
far as il can be done in the public in
terest" says the Sioux City journal.
TN the matter of prices, however. no
law that can be passed by any legis-
lative body will be so effective regu-
later as the great nurt..en law -
supply and demand
Senator Cummins might as wen
prepare to pack" says the Anita
Record.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1916-12-13

Contemplation of the rising prices
brings the cheering thought that sal
walton is free--but that's about the
only thing that is.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-11-10
A. 7. & 5. F. RY.
ASKS court EST0P
EiGhI.A0UR plan
Railway Offers to Protect
Employees by Putting UP
Bond or Deposit.

Kansas City, Nov. "a petition to
enjoin the encouragement and ola
Dor leaders" from putting the Adam
son eight-hour law into effect was
filed in federal district court Of Kan
sas City, Kansas, late today in the
name of the Atkinson, Topeka 4
Santa Fe Railway company.
The bill calls attention to an agree
ment with the train employees, in one
OF which was it was contemplated that
the employees shall work for a fixed
number of hours, but that, owing to
the nature of train service, the trip,
in terms Of mileage or hours, as pre-.
ferred by the men, is the basis of
compensation. The bill recites the
circumstances surrounding the pass
age of the Adamson law, and claims
that it is a measure arbitrarily in
creasing wages. The law, says the
bill, is unconstitutional and void be-
cause it is not a regulation of inter
state commerce; that it is a mere
experiment, intending as a basis fol
further legislation; that it deprives
the company of it's liberty of contract
and rights of property without due
process sof law, and that it is unwork-
able and uncertain.
The bill devotes considerable spaG;
to explaining why he considers The
lew unworkabie. Ii concludes will
the statement that the railroad is
willing to guarantee the employee:
against loss pending final decision, a;
to the legality of the aCt. The Our
! is asked to indicate what steps !!
shall take "by way OF keeping specia
accounts, giving BOND or otherwise
! for the purpose Of insuring complet'
protection to all its employees Or
the other hand. the complaint states
that if the preliminary and final in
| junction should be denied and thu
complainant be compelled, under feal
of penalties of said act to adopt, n
its own peril some construction y
the act involving the payment of in
ereases in wages to 2 considerably
number of it's employees. and it shall
subsequently be declared invalid, tn
loss thereby sustained by the com
plainant can never be repaired in an.
! way.