davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
HER READING.

"Do you read aloud to your hus-
band"
eyes, indeed. / read all the key
lines to the moving pictures we see
to him."-Detroit Free Press.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
POINT WELL TAKEN.

ct is a wonder the British do not
mobilize their hotel bell boys"
@Why the bell boys?"
because they have had much ex-
perience in going to the 'front.'"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02

GLOW in the world did you coax
De Close to let you have the use of
his new lawn mower?"
ut was easy. | started my old,
squeaky mower about 6 a. m. and it
aroused De Close from his morning
nap"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02

$50 you have got back from your
fishing trip?"
Eyes, home again"
Were the fish bitingi"
"No; but my wife's comments
were."
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
EXTREME THRIFT.

II fear my cousin is going to
marry q very stingy man"
why sof
"She suggested . morning we'd
ding, but he said to make it after
luncheon on the ground that she
would get one more meal at home"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
CAUSES.

Bix-A physician says that yawn-
ing is caused by a lack of oxygen in
the blood.
Dior a lack of pep in the con-
versation.-Boston Evening Tran
script.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
VOICE OF THE MIsANTHRoPE.

'We should love our fellow men,"
eyes," replied Mr.. Growcher,
"and mebbe we ought to go a step
further than that an try to be wor-
thy of one another's affections"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02

"Why is il we don't hear any more
complaints about defective life pre-
servers ON ships?"
Nobody has time to put them
cn."-Judge.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
MODERN MATHEMATICS.

Teacher-If a farmer sold 1000
bushels of wheat for So a bushel
what would he get?
Percy-He would get an automo-
bile.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
AVERAGE AGE OF GENERALS.

The average age of generals in the
British army is $50 years; that Of
France, CO.'S years, and of the Ger
man army, 63.5 years.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
NOTHING ExEMpT.

Can you run over tonight in your
auto?"
Il think 80. I've run over about
everything else
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
a SOME EXPERIENCES.

"You have never been in New
York before, have youY' +,
mo. But I've been held up twice
in Arizona. "-Iifc.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
MEAN EXPOSURE.

Mr.. FoK-I think Miss Wayne
has such Gne polish.
Miss Catt--Yes; she gets the besi
face enamel there is.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
IT'S KIND.

She'll never ask for wine, but
when she wants it she pretends to
be sick"
~ see. A Ease Of sham pain"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
a Joy RIDES

"You say Dubwaite got rich
quickw
Judge for yourself. Last year he
was lodging automobiles. This year
he's ditching 'em."
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
4 BIG ITEM.

1Can two live as cheaply as oner'
sWell, another passenger adds
ncthing to the upkeep of a motor
csr."-Louisville Courier journal.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
LOOKS THAT WAY.

anyhow, America always wins
her wars"
Eve gotta win. Nobody would
start a relief fund for u.s."
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
POSITIVE PROOF.

sDo You think Jibbins entirely
trusts bis wife p
Entirely. Pvc seen him eat her
mince pies"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02
NATURAL EFFECT,

"0riental politics are seething, in
q way"
well, il is natural for things to
be ~fermenting in the East"
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02

The First Orator-Do you mix
your metaphors?
The Second Orator-Never. l al
ways drink the straight stuff.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1916-11-02

Howard looks like a knight in a
bathing suit"
"Where did you ever see a knight
in a bathing suit?"
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

Interrupted Dinner.
A very charming dinner party in
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
LaSSen Has Another
Bad Nervous Spell

Mt Lassen broke out in eruption
Sunday of last week. The crater
continued to emit a great volume of
black smoke until darkness shut off
the view. 1t was by far the most
spectacular eruption of the year. 1t
was great in volume, the smoke ris-
ing to a height of several thousand
feet before it drifted away before the
wind. 1t is not known whether there
was any outpouring of lava.
Laborers employed on the Churn
creek siphon stopped their work to
view the spectacle, the like Of which
none of them had ever seen before.
That there had been big eruption
was plainly revealed yesterday morn
ing. The mountain top that was
white with snow the day before was
black on the western and northern
fronts, where there had been a heavy
fall of ashes.-Redding Searchlight.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
The Crowds Come---Never
Such a Sale in Ashland---
Now for the Final Clean
Up---StOre Closes for
Good Saturday

Saturday the crowds stormed the
balcony. They thronged the shoe
room and they surged through
the entire store all day long. Never
such an eager, anxious, buying crowd
was ever seen in an Ashland store
before Fifty sales-people could not
have waited upon the people.
Merchandise actually went out by
the wagon load. Despite the heavy
selling of Saturday, a great deal Of
the best merchandise is still left, and
now we come to the big offer of the
entire sale. Beginning at 10 a. m.
Tuesday morning, everything goes at
one-half price. We have never heard
of a merchant inviting the people to
come and take everything in the store
at such ridiculous price. 1t is an
astounding offer and most likely will
never be made again. Be on time to
secure your tickets, for you will never
have another such an opportunity.
The store closes in just five days
After that you will have to pay the
other merchants their regular prices.
All mems and boys wear, dry
goods, shoes, silks, wool dress goods,
underwear and, in fact, everything to
go now at one half price. Just read
the price tags and cut the price in
two. 1t is yours for one-half if you
secure ticket. Those who do not
have tickets will be given only 25 per
cent reduction.
Tickets will be given out free, be-
ginning at 10 a. m. tomorrow.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
Richards Will
Speak Here Soon

Willamette Collegian: In the ex-
tension work of Prof. E. c. Richards,
though it has just begun, Willamette
University has department which
is of interest to every student who
believes in greater and better Will
lamette.
Mr.. Richards is very busy man.
His time while in Salem Is filled with
the duties of becoming acquainted
with new situation.
Other cities are demanding his at
tention and his calendar is rapidly
filling with engagements for weeks
to come. Mr.. Richards will speak
during December in Albany, Cottage
Grove, Grants Pass, Medford, Ash
land and other southern Oregon
cities.
His customary plan is to preach on
Sunday in the Methodist church and
if possible to appear in the high
school on Monday. He has every
where received a cordial welcome
and already has met many prospect
i've Willamette students.
Mr.. Richards carries with him the
architects plans for new Lausanne
and states that these everywhere
arouse a great deal of interest.
(Mr. Richards is former Ash
lander.)
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
Hillah Will Aid
At Portland DOingS

Portland Oregonian: A big Pacific
northwest ceremonial will be held by
AL Kader Temple of the Mystic
Shrone on January 81, which Will
bring delegations from Spokane, Ia
coma, Seattle, Lewiston, Boise and
all other Templar cities of the north
west.
Hillah Temple of Ashland will CO.
operate with AL Kader and the bands
of all the temples represented are ex-
pected to participate.
The Multnomah hotel will handle
the banquet, at which 1000 guests
are expected, and the Imperial hotel
will be headquarters for breakfast
and luncheon.
The Eleventh Street theatre has
been engaged as the place where a
class of about sixty novices will be
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

escorted across the hot sands. Patrol
drills will be held in the street, If
weather permits.
Acting Potentate James P. Moffitt
has appointed the following commit
tee to handle the affair: ]. E. Buck
ingham, chairman; William Davis, v.
II. Jorgensen, F. A. Van Kirk, w. j.
Hoffman, J. A. dig, Herman Won
Borstel. j. L. Bailey, L. G. Carpen-
ter, H. T. Hutchinson, A. w. Orton.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
Will Lecture At
Elks Temple Tonight

Paul Stark Secly of Portland, Ore,
a member of the board of lecturship
of the Mother Church, the First
Church of Christ, Scientist, in Boston,
will deliver free lecture at the Elks
Temple this Monday, evening at s
o'clock The Christian Science lee
lures always attract a large crowd,
and members of the local church, un-
der whose auspices the lecture will be
held, look forward to a capacity crowd
at the lecture tonight.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

That the state still is sovereign
power over municipalities and that
the public service commission of Ore
gon may regulate rates in municipali-
ties by the exercise of the police pow
er regardless of contractual agree
ment between a municipality and a
public service corporation, is the hold
in a recent opinion of the supreme
court.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
Women OF WoOdcraft.

Business and social meeting of
Acorn Circle No. "a at l. o. o. F. hall
Saturday, December 29, 1880 p. m.
Refreshments will be served in the
banquet hall and the delicious viands
will be the best ever, as each mem
ber will bring what you please" A
happy time is in store for every men,
Der who attends.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

o o o o o o o o Q o o o o o o o
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
Will Install.

The Eastern Star will hold their
regular meeting and installation Of
officers Tuesday evening at the lodge
rooms. Refreshments will be served
and a joyful occasion made of the
welcome to the incoming directors Of
the lodges fortunes.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

which Messrs. Beebe, Langhorne and
Kinney and their wives were partici-
pating was broken up Thursday
evening when the apartment next
door to the Langhorne apartment in
the Allen building caught fire. The
remains of a partly eaten roast
chicken we're rescued from the ruins
the next day.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
Assistance Gratefully Acknowledged.

4HF'''Iott''1NV VT 'FNNHe111'
The undersigned desires most
gratefully to thank the numerous
friends who through sympathy as
we'll as wishes, and by the offer of
material aid, have contributed assist
ance in view of the heavy losses she
has met with by the recent fire. To
all such I desire to acknowledge with
heartfelt gratitude that their kind Of
fices so generously prompted are
thankfully received.
MRS. SUSIE ALLEN.
Ashland, December 16, 1916.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

Those having Christmas donations
for the Sunshine Society will be ap-
preciated If left at the Temple of
Truth Saturday, December 23.
MRS. LYDIA ]. LAMB.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18
. . Q Q o o 90 Q . . Q . Q . Q
WEATHER.

o Forecast for the Week Begin
o. ming Sunday, December IL.
o Washington, D. c., Dec. 16.
3 Pacific States: Frequent rains
o probable during week in Wash
@ ington and Oregon, while in Cal
o ifornia it will be generally fair;
@ temperatures will average near
9 normal.
@ E. II. BOWIE, Forecaster. (
. 8 8 o o o 8 o o o o o @ o o Q
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

None of Buffers candy, from the
cheapest to the best, is made outside
Of Buffers shop. All homemade.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

Douglas county turkey raisers sold
about 12,500 birds for approximately
$37,500.
Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1916-12-18

Phone lob orders to the Tidings.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
AWFUL SHELL FIRE.
Expenditure of Artillery Ammunition
PrOdigious.

The expenditure of artillery ammu-
milton by the entente allies on the
Somme front has reached prodigious
volume, often striking the rate of
thirty-tWo shells second during
drum fire. Not infrequcnrly along the
entire Somme front nearly 10000
shells bay" been dropped in an hour,
while conservative estimate puts the
average for the 24-hour period at
more than 100000 shells.
With this rate of fire the final cost
of the offensive is naturally high.
What tie approximate losses in hui
man material amount to it is difficult
to estimate. That the losses of the
British in certain actions have been
frightful is affirmed by German Of
ficers, who on the other hand, frankly
admit that their own losses have been
far from light, though all insist that
they were not nearly so heavy as the
British.
The German expenditure in ammu-
milton has been much lighter than that
of the British for the reason that the
German artillery concentrates its eff
forts on special objects, such as
trenches. transports and reserve bases,
while the British often screen off
whole sectors. taking nightly under
their fire all the villages and roads be-
hind the German lines within the
range of their guns.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
STATE DEMOCRATIC
EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE
Names Presidential Electors
to Fill Vacancies.

The new State Democratic Execu-
tive Committee met in the Assembly
hall of the Seminole Hotel, Jackson
vile, on Thursday morning at 1920.
The committee was organized by the
election of Geo. P. Raney of Tampa,
chairman; j. C. Sale of Levy county,
secretary, and r. l.. Eaton of Jeffer.
son county, treasurer.
There were no contests and the roll
call as made up with the credentials
was accepted as the membership Of
the committee.
Seven names were presented for
the three vacancies on the ticket for
presidential electors, and Frank Har-
ris Of Ocala, M. H. Mabry of Tampa
and W. H. Price of Mariana, were
chosen.
The committee kept its hands off the
knott-Catts contest, it being the I'M
dercurrent Of feeling among commit
teemen that the committee would sup
port the nominee of the party, no
matter whom that nominee may be,
when the fact of his nomination,
now in controversy in the courts, has
been judicially determined,
After the motion to adjourn was
made, but before there was a second,
Mr.. Adams of Lafayette jumped to
his feet with "Mr. Chairman, | want
to introduce resolution" at the
same time going forward to the
chairman's table and handing the reso-
luton to that gentleman. The chair
man arose and said: Gentlemen, I
have a resolution offered by Mr.. Ad-
ans, shall | read it,"
Move we adjourn" called Mr..
Wells of Washington. "S'nd notion"
said some one else. The motion to
adjourn always takes precedence. The
motion was put and carried by a
heavy voiced vote.
This saved a battle in the commit
tee over the contest. The commit
tee is strongly anti Cats, this fact
being developed by the nominations
for presidential electors. All the
Cats nominees were turned down,
having less than third of the votes
Of the committeeman.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
VAST FIELD OF DEATn.
Grewsome bitches, GuIIeys and Dug
outs Filled With COrpses,

The Austrian trenches on the rocky
heights from COsich to NadlOgem
Chill No. 212) are described as I'M
broken lines of cemeteries. The grew
some bitches, gulleys and dugouts are
filed with corpses, in some places up
to the rim. Horrible traces of battle
are visible everywhere, and the eff
fects Of the terrible artillery fire. 1t
is one vast field of death. Skeletons
Of soldiers fallen more than a year
ago lie side by side with corpses of
those killed last week. On Frasche,
Taxi and MOrti bodies of Austrians
lie pell-melI unburied and unburiable,
on the arid rocks.
The new trench mortars of the
Italians played an important role in
conquering the trenches. At one
point alone thirty-siX batteries of
twelve mortarS each were concen-
trated. Wherever the trench mOrtars
concentrated their fire, barbed wires
were wiped out Of existence. They
made every dugout uninhabitable for
the AuStriHns.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
WAYS of the Arab.

The ARAB has some curious ways
He takes off his shoes when he enters
a house. bat keeps on his hat lie
reads and writes from right TO left
He eats scarcely anything for break
fast or dinner, but in the evening he
sits down to "A hot meal swimming i'll
oil. His SOUS eat with him, but the
ladies of the household wait till the
males have finished. The Arab rides
a donkey when travelling, his wife
walking behind, and he laughs at the
idea of giving up his seat for woman
The Arab has one strong virtue, and
that is. he is rarely seen drunk He
is not very alrectionate, is very igno'
rant and has 50 little initiative that
he rarely takes on anything worth do
ing or attempts to carry out any Ell
terpriSe.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25

Two British light cruisers. the Not
tinGham and Falmouth, were sunk in
the North sea by German submarines,
while the vessels We're searching for
the German high seas fleet according
to an official announcement issued by
the admiralty shortly before mid
night. One German submarine was
destroyed by the British. while an
other was rammed and possibly sunk,
according to the admiralty statement.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25

Saturday for Springside where she
will teach school, commencing Mon
day.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. A. Perry, Miss
Mary Morrison and Mrs. c. H. Ec-
cles were guests of friends at Inter-
lachen Sunday for the day.
Miss Estelle Mckenzie of Palatka
has been spending some time at the
Green home.
The ladies of the V. I. A. have NOV.
ed their furniture from the room in
the Piplar house, to the room in the
school building, occupied by them for
many years, but vacated last year for
school purposes.
The Piplar house is being put in
condition for parsonage, and VIII
in few days be occupied by Rev.
B. c. Capshaw and family of Yantic,
Connecticut.
The Sunday School which is very
enthusiastic Just now in the contest
for new members, is arranging for a
big basket picnic on Labor Day, Sep
TENDER 4th. The picnic will be held
at the bathing beach on Lake Brow
ard, and enough committees have been
appointed to assure every body good
time. Remember the date, and plan
to he present.
News was received recently of the
death of Mrs. w. H. MCDOWELL -
West Midway, Mass. Mrs. Wood
well was the wife of Rev. W. H.
MCDOWELL, pastor here for a number
Of wears. and people in Pomona will
long remember her lovable personaIi-
tv and kindly ministrations.
Misses Eta and Tiny Williams Of
Brannon. s. c., arrived Monday for
visit with relatives.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
WILL AVENGE FRYATT.
Britain Seeks Reparation--No Rela-
tons With Germany Until Made.

Replying to a question in the house
of commons, Premier Asquith said the
government was determined that "this
country will not tolerate Il resump-
ton Of diplomatic relations with Ger
many after the war until reparation
is made for the murder of Captain
Iryatt."
4 member asked if the government
WAS 'preparcd to make statement
that Emperor William is wanted for
wiful murder in this case
No answer was returned to this.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
,,rERLACHEN NEWS.

Alice Bradstreet entertained
tiss A Elaborate evening party y; last
an eii IN honor of Miss Ellnor
brsday,s several v original and clever
b. !. Nth 1f beautiful prizes for the
Fasts' WIZ, we're interspersed with
n g. and dancing, making the ,e even
one W. Unit punch was served
lcea ,+ = the evening, and dainty
Pp qs~ents of cream and cake were
servs , Trottman came home from
Fa iraviI1e to spend the weekend
Enf IT, uarents, returning to his
N W, work Monday.
b. r., Mars Margaret Mann gave a spend.
u.s. I affair Sunday to several OF
lay y, 'l friends. Those enjoying
gu, Mioraaret's hospitality were
Mi Minor y Games, Nora Fraser,
y u Kephart and Agnes L !. WIS avid
~ n marty, comprising Mr. ana
n o. 6 perry, Mrs. Harmon, Miss
h, = and Miss Morrison, came over e
\ \ Nv and Mrs. Drisko, and at
\ u wi the morning service in the
gg..ssssgements were made Sunday
'l .sn for the reorganization of the
n 4 a!sn ~ Endeavor Society here,
\! !s'' ddihsbanded several years ago.
E'Ssri star Endeavor service, led by
nrisko, took the place of the
! !, evening" church service.
ne Sunshine Society met let tuesday
, aE on at the home of Mrs. Brush,
fF ho1d very interesting session:
, ,,iu the routine business half
!, l'T was given to the literary pro-
I, W" Walt Whitman and Artemus
u heinz the authors for the day.
N, n '( Gaskin. formerly a resident Of
..Iochcn, made brief visit to his
ssnnts Saturday, leaving Sunday
,n nnr,' to visit a brother who lives
GAINESVILLE.
.,s sn Jesse Williams and Charlie
S ,er both colored. resulted in Sc
, Nv wounding the latter. while
NJ hams succeeded in making his es-
r., Ethel Gillett entertained with
or, ,,d nortv Wednesday evening, in
~ If her visiting cousin, Messrs.
i STEELE and William Thompson.
The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1916-08-25
SNAKE BITE DEATHS INCREASE.
Curator of Bronx Zoo Declares East
ernerS Don't Realize Dancers.

Deaths from snake bites in the
United States are increasing, accord
ing to Raymond L. Ditmars, curator
at the Bronx Geological park. "There
are three or four deaths every year
or five years ago it was rare to hear
of more than one every other year.
"The increase is in the timbered
regions of the East. Here in the East
people do not realize how common
poisonous snakes are"
RattleSnake bites, Mr.. Ditmars
said, are seldom fatal if properly
treated; copperhead bites almost
never.