The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-06-15
The Old Snowman
He Tells How He Invented a
New Animal
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1916. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
b. N. Quad

Dieu 10 listen TO MS tale. did any {
you ever hear of an animal called
/ ''guyasticutusY
There never was such an animal,
Replied one. There is such a word q
guyasdcutus. but it is a slang wort
When you call man a guyasticutu
you express your contempt for him"
MY friends, you are wrong, and
shall take great pleasure In convincin
you OF the fact I can't say that sue
an animal exists now, but he surely di,
forty years ago, for I invented hin
myself"
Give Us the yarnr was called on
from every one.
Wei, was head keeper OF tina ma
nagerie travelling with the circus. w,
had started out Of winter quarters witt
nve hyenas In the cage, but feur 81
them had gone dead on us. guess \
was pneumonia that carried them on
The one left was an old he hyena. am
ne could stand any sort OF weather and
take the bumps Of the country high
ways. However, after his COMPANIONS
had departed this life we saw change
In him. He didn't fall sick. but he 20,
lonesome and sulky.
There were daily complaints that
our hyena was a fraud, and was
wondering what we could do about II
when the boss came to me one day
and said:
George. that old hyena is making
trouble for US. What's the matter
with him anyhow
I guess he is tired Of being a nv.
ena,' replied.
hep 'i'e' ean
Why, we can't make a bird Of him
out maybe can make some other ami.
NAL of him.
Then do 1t, man.
4 changed the hyena's food a dozen
times and gave him whisky to lap
instead of water." said the old show.
man, but 1t didn't improve him any.
and set myself to wonder how
could make him over. The bright idea
came to me at last, and one SUNDAY.
when we had a lazy day Of It, / bought
various paints and brushes. There
was farmers hired man hanging
iround the show. He had deserted the
bow for the romance of the cincus
de had offered to work for SIS a week
md his board. but had no room for
nm. When ] got the idea of making |
ne hyena over beckoned to this chan /
md said:
Joshaway. will give you IS q
week and your board If you with do |
WAT ! want you to do. It concerns
ne old hyena in the cage over there.
want to make guyasticutus of
i'm
Joshaway promised, and the flrst
hing to do was to tie the old hyena
p We got ropes and straps around
is legs and a muzzle over his nose
nd then went to work with the paints.
le didnt give us much trouble: he
as too lonesome and homesick for
nat. We gave him bright green ears:
q gave him bright red nose and
'd eyebrows; We spotted his body
ere and there with green, red, blue,
eilow and black paints. We put a
zen rings around his tail, and we
United his legs one color and his feet
lother. Say, boys, when we got
rough with that hyena we had to SIT
lex and roar with laughter.
We had a special cage made for
~ and gave 1t such a position that
~ the front with its iron bars could
seen. Behind It on a chair was
shaway, the young man who was
king for romance. He did all the
KING, but 1t seemed to come from the :
yasticutus. Joshaway had a voice
Q the filing of a saw, and his talk ::
IS great success. The animal in III
mt OF him went on with a long rig. III
role as to his forest home in Hon. Nj
ras and what he did there. Ill
The fatal day did not arrive until III
had shown that guyasticutus for HI
years and half. I renewed the iii
mt on him every other Sunday and Hi
to 1t that he had the choicest kind HI
food" Hi
But what about the fatal day r. was MI
'ried. WI
Oh. yes, about that fatal day. re-
d the old Snowman. "Well, Il came
ut In this way. That young man
naway undertook to eat an apple
le he was giving his talk, and the
OF the fruit got into bis throat
stuck there. He had to choke and
gh and sputter, and the fact that
'e was a man somewhere hidden be-
the guyasticutus could not be
,ealed. There were shouts Of ex.
ment aud derision and calls for an
stigation. Half a dozen men press
forward and seized the cage and
ed 1t on its benches. That same
a dozen men seized Joshaway by
neck or somewhere else as he still
led and sputtered over the seeds
brought him out for the crowd TO
on. In just one minute It was mn
that the public had been swim. I|IIl
Tor years. They had had esyas NlI
us instead Of a hyena and had llllI
lie their moneys worth, but they WITH
ted their revenge. and they took IT. II|IIl
cage was kicked about until IL was |IIIIl
he'd and its occupant was killed IIHII
they stepped on Joshaway and HIlll
q and pounded him until he would lI|l|l
again feel romantic. and the fight IlIlll
ID until something like thousand NllH
and women were engaged in it. , sIIg
lad to stop the circus performance e
pack up and move on. and we had =
for full hundred miles before -
leard the last Of our scheme 70 (
natural history" /