Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-11-02
Finnegan Philosophers
On Pat1less Publicity

II see Mr.. Hughes Wud ike 10 know IWnat
come to Pitiless Publicity Mesef could tell him.
Where's "Ptiess Pubcity"T says Hughes. In
the Ash Can says I. at was all right on the
stump, but in Washin'ton It's differ. The Harp
that wanst through Trenton's hall name Tu-
multy. Whn he bursts into song now he picks
his chune -
cts not that Prsidint Wilson as less public
than Candidate Wilson-he's less pitiess. Tis
like the Snowman He tells we all, an more
about tn illyfant but he has mintal res'vashune
about the spotted baby.
$50 it is wild Wilson He's sofned the hard
heart iv 'Ptiess Publicity How about the post
mastersT axes the refawrumers, Wen nivver tell
ye,' says the c'mishun. For why? says the
league 'T'wd embar'ss tn adminsthrashur,'
says the c'mishun. And the people laughs: .Ye
fired tn hid iv the cinsus,' says Hughes. 'Ye lie,
says Redfeld. He raysined widout bein' axed,
me yed fire me, an we gev me place to a
politician says Durand. Ixacly fwhat I said,
yells pink whiskers, I was goin' to fire we amy
way, but nivver axed we to raysine,' says Pinky.
An the people roars.
Tell us about all thin dishurvin' dimmy-
Gratis says the people. An Washinton is SWEEP
be storm iv silence.
But doant ye think there's no publicity at all
Teddy himself was none gunshy with the papers,
but he cud be quiet, too.
Well grab some land in Vinzueely,' says
the ambassydure. 'Tem'prily,' says he Yell
not says Teddy, yell agree to arbitrate,' says
he, or he says, in tin days Dewey'll be there
says Teddy.
"Me ryle masther will nivver consint,' says
tn other. Thin says Teddy, I'll sind Dewey at
| wanst. How'd EN- says the ambassydure We
agree says he-an' dvil bit did we know how
| it was for dozen year,
"We'll have Ferdy Carey alive, or the Bashi
| Bazook dead says Teddy, an back comes Ferdy.
/ An the papers says On demand iv the State de-
| mar Eardv haze hen re1ea eed An
| that's all. .1.
How is it now7 The greasers saughters
twinty at Sanity Isabel. Another Mexican Crisis,
says the headlines 'Twinty Americans Killed
they says. The President Calm says they. 'Ates
Bacon and Eggs. Plays Goluf,' says the headlines.
| An the paper goes on:
| F" The prisidnts appytite at breakfast was
good, TIL leader " the nashun gettin outside
| " grape fruit, bacon and eggs, hot biscuit an
coffee. Whn Docther Grayson announced the bill
iv fare the tnshun over Mexico was much. relaved.
| The prisidint is solvin in privacy the fateful
question will me throat last? The answer is
waited wild feverish anxiety
| "Mondah the papers says, 'Nashunal Disaster?
Sore Throat Feared, Panic at the Capital. The
! Prisidint Calm
CONSERVATION was spread among all classes
today be the report that the prisidnt awoke with
sore throat. Strong men tainted before they cud
| reach the nearest saloon, There is talk iv ap-
pointin day " prayer. 1t is hoped that Senior
Arre-ye- though will claim that the dead Ameri-
cans raysisted ixicushun. A high authority states
| that this wud end the crisis. The prisidint made
but wan remark: "Av they'd not been there they'd
| not " been kilt
"Choosdah, they says, Hope revves. No sore
throat. Bitten by insect. President calm. All
| Phrases iv Matther to be considered
1.-THE anxiety in the capital was reiaved today
4 be the folloWn' bulletin:
"'"The Prisidnt has slight perforation in the
| cuticle over the inferyure maximary caused be a
insect bitin' him win asleep The patient was too
] proud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson"
IT is reported also that Gineral Scott will go
to the border to bury the dead, and apologize to
the Insurgents. He will axe Carranzy whether he
would accept loan If offered. This is considered
i the thrue' sutton v the difficulty
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motorn', Thurs
dab he writes note and Ginera Scott starts for
the border. Fridah the headlines says Peace in
! Europe neat. Prisidint studyin' terms. Will he
stop the war? Another note expected Capital
excited over report
i But we're comforted be bein' towld the Prisi-
dint will not be betrayed into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah. he's considerin' TIL Armenyan ques-
4 ton, an Mondah he advises Grandmothers about
suckin' eggs. And another crisis is past.
SO it goes ivry day As was sayin', there's a
plenty publicity, but It's not the brand iv 1912"
l Fl