The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-19

headed! Anyone can be level headed with
a fixed income and poor circulation
There it is in a nutshell; I meet the men
with unlimited expense accounts "a good
many, at least strangers in the town
with nothing to do and probably good
oirculation-so if, sometimes their heads
begin to whrl, think it kinder to think
as Pinero did, and blame it on their in
come and circulation, not to think of
them as bad, fresh and altogether i'm
possible-merely healthy animals. but with
hearts of gold underneath it all.
Funny, isn't it, what strange animals
men are? Let public steno tell fresh
man to behave himself or get away from
the desk-and he'll do it, but let a per-
fectly charming man come around, whom
you realize it would be a delight to know
accept his dinner invitation and, good
night! If you are contemplating being
public stenographer, take my advice
and don't do it, The vulgar fresh man
is a mere babe in arms" to handle in
comparison with the perfectly correct man
who knows how and when to perform all
the little niceties that women love best
They can insult you in the most charm
ngly polite manner that unless you are
"hipped' to the fact you are being in
suited you really might think you were
being complimented.
This is the reason that absolutely no
unmarried girl under % should be a
public stenographer, because she has not
learned that these simple sounding din
ner engagements are most generally
well, to express it mildly, a little too
much "a deux." When a girl can forego
these alluring invitations her work is abb
solutely one of the pleasantest occupa-
lions she could have. Doubtless by ad-
herring to this set rule she does miss a
few very pleasant friends, but she will
also miss many unpleasant experiences
and will keep so many of her illusions
that little public stenographer to-be'
il is well worth it.
1 don't believe I told you about my
friend, the Press Agent. TITS to smile to
think of him generally wears cane, but
always most unutterably bored express
sion. You see, the poor dear, though he
probably originated in a small town of
the middle west now has headquarters
in New York, has been behind the scenes.
knows the stage carpenter from the prop
erty man and possibly note that posi-
bly,, may have said good morning to some
star, even though a minor constellation,
at sometime, so why shouldn't he shine
Dy IGllGCleu llSHl. DtSIueS, ne mas taken
George Cohan's "When you're 40 minutes
from Broadway you're only camping OUT
as absolute copeland, you know
there's nothing like spreading the gospel,
The funny thing is, that with all this
pomposity and condescension never have
known one to fail to ask before dictat-
ing, What are your prices?'
Nobody but a public stenographer n
fortune teller at a State Fair, or possibly
lady serving on committee for a
church bazaar can appreciate what "les
majestic that Is. You see, these three
institutions work on the same principle
but knowing you have at least patronized
one of them, I'll spare myself the pos
sible embarrassment of being more ex-
plicit in regard to same! But then, they
mean passes as a rule, so why be
hard on the poor things; maybe Tex
perience" will teach them something
too, and in the meantime it's nice to go
to show without paying-cash for it
occasionally!
Speaking of Press Agents, calls to mind
recent customer of mine. She wasn't
a really truly ''press agent''-she was
just the wife of vaudeville performer.
incidentally, he needed no press agent