The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-08-04
THE HIRED MAN

shovel" | quit writing obituaries
before the folks are dead, for the rea-
son that l was about ready to write
the death eulogies of two persons,
when they sure enough left this
plane OF life. No man, of course, can
guess who dies next, but there are six
old men about town who will never
again see the sun rise in April and
there are as many aged women here
whose March suns will be their last.
| am what you may call scrawnv
| little young woman, not pretty and
not attractive A nice big handsome
| young fellow says he loves me dearly
and wants me to marry him. ought I
| to do it? | am afraid that in later years
he will see finer looking woman.
| People viii wonder why such man
ever married such woman?" Answer:
| Y on must remember that there are
large. number of young men who do
not love their wives simply for the
amount of meat they carry on their
bones. Meat comes and goes. Then
you manv not be noticing blemishes in
your young man. He NAV not be half
so handsome as you think You may
be blinded to his faults just like he
seems not to see yours. That's the
way this mysterious thing works. He
NAV be marrying the best looking
girl he. can get. Leave that part of
it to him. IF he is moral and is going
to make you a good living by your
own help, and you love him. have the
wedding come off by Thanksgiving
if you can.
We have preacher here who is
over-plus affable with our women and
girls. He is simply SO polite that it
is offensive to many, although there
are lot of soft women who think
he is it over and over again. What
shall we do?" Answer: I wouldn't do
anything. Some fellow will put head
on your preacher some of these days
and he will change pasture, and there
once again, lot of putty women
folks will rave about him and his beau
tiful character as shown by his po-
likeness.
You seem to answer plainly on
every side of every question, answer
me, won't you? am doing all I can
to hinder girls and boys and keep
them from falling in with this church
dogma and error about Christ being
the Saviour of the world Am l
right? Answer as briefly as you can"
Answer: If there is not hell for fell
lows like you there ought to be one
dug. l can't make it any briefer.
"A man around town Saturday
was telling about cyclone in Ala
bama one time where he was, and
two days afterwards a feather bed,
fell out of the skies; he saw it falling
and went and got it. 1t weighed "a
pounds. Is that story true?" Answer:
OF course the Hired Man don't know.
1t might be that sections of the cy-
clone played about in the air for that
length of time and finally went to
pieces. dropping whatever it had been
carrying. 1t might do that. The man
might have seen big piece of paper
falling, and went over to see what it
was and there found the bed that the
cyclone had dropped there two days
before. Or his wife might have had the
bed out airing on the top porch, when
it fell off. The man might have been
drinking some of that Alabama bug
juice. 1t makes them see feather and
fms and claws and other little things.
I would dislike to say the man was
EARNING about it, but then men do
yarn some times.
What sort of girls at fifteen are
most likely to be grass widows?" An
swer: Not many girls at fifteen are Ii
able to be grass widows. Many girls
at fifteen now will later be grass
widows, and the straws at fifteen
show which way the wind blows. The
word grass widow" came from the old
English term grace widow" and that
meant that when wicked man ran off
and left good wife, the crown would
extend it's grace to keep her. There is
where we get grass widow" The
wife is not always to blame, by any
means, for her grass proclivities, but
the girl who will come the nearest do
ing some of the following things at
fifteen, is most likely to be later sail
ing unde- this euphoneous title:
Get boy struck.
Talk back to mamma.
Lick her chin when she chews gum.
Giggle and twist in church.
Wiggle as she walks.
Paint like a Commanche Indian.
Ask boys for bon bons.
Stroll about after ten.
Don't the Hired Man think it would
be all right for the young ladies to
propose marriage to the young men?"
Answer: | used to think that it was
wrong for the girl to have to sit still
throughout long courtship and just
simply say Eyes" or mo" to whatever
came up. ! thought she ought to be
properly allowed to say here, Joe,
quit all this slowness of action. We
are in love with each other, so lets
get ready and get married right Off"
OF course, that is really what she does
say after all, but she must say it
scientifically. She must make it look
like an irridescent dream to her lover.
A young man knows how he stands
long time before he gets to the point
of asking, have watched the butter
flies make love to each other, just to
help me make up my mind about this
very thing. saw it going on one time,
and was admirinp the pallantrv Of the