The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1916-01-08

touches for pie) and with two
Indian cigarettes (got for pie) one
In his mouth and the other hidden,
away as al reserve somewhere about
his stomach, with another pies worth
of ''vettelai pakkoo' (beetle leaves
and areca nutsl in his mouth as a
soothing saporific he can strut on the
Kings Highway like a bantam cock
in a do-not-speak-to e-style.
Though for want Of a complete con
viction am not in a position just
now to guarantee the Fat Boy being
a woman-hater, yet, as have never
caught him trip | may not in justice
put him in the opposite list either.
Nevertheless, to sail between, suppo1e
he has a sister and loves her dearly,
after buying for her with his pie all
that he can buy for himself except
Icigarettes for decency's sake unless
again she be of the new woman style
he can buy her flowers to be put
around her neck or tuck in her
tresses. He can take her for show
to see native juggler exhibiting his
feats by the roadside or a snake
charmer dexterously handling yene-
nous cobras. He can give her ride
in a country merry-go-round for his
omnipotent all-buying pie. He could
buy her needle and thread to mend
the treacherous holes in his pockets
and as a recompense for the service
rendered him he could make her the
gift of glass beads, clay toys or a
rattle or parrot made of paper. He
could give her an exhibition of his
scientific skill and lore on airships
by taking her to the madam Gan open
ground) with paper kite and thread
bought for a pie each. On his way
back, if he were a pagan, he could
satisfy the gods for his sins of COM
mission and omission by offering a
pies worth of flowers, incense and
crude camphor. And it forsoothe by
| nightfall he suffers from impaired
digestion the result of his surgical
operations on real pigeon pie-he
could mend matters by buying pies
worth of SIENNA leaves or EPSON salts.
The native storekeeper will offer him
several other herbs and roots which,
according to advertisement, are never
known to fail and which if they do
him no good will certainly do him
every harm!
The theoretical or exchange value of
a pie can easily be determined with
the help of the hint given at the very
start. I have said enough on the mar
ket or commercial value of our little
copper coin. There is yet third
value but I@feel backward to name it
for fear of raining in one or another
of your kind readers an unwholesome,
unholy thought of simory. Let each
ones Guardian Angel suggest it to him.
The mighty dollar serves the world.
Like all other things created for the
good of man it can be made to serve
God and His Glory. One of your Ameri-
can Bishops said 1T is pity that
money should mean souls" He has
told you implicitly the third value
that can be put on dollar converted
| into so many pies. Missionaries have
more than once explained the neces-
sity of funds for the conversion of
pagans. Earthly, things bought with a
dollar are soon consumed but soul
saYed-not bought-by means of a
dollar will be put to your credit in
| the Bank of Heaven which ever
gives a dividend of more than cent
per cent. That bank never fails or
goes insolvent and deeds recorded by
Angels can never be erased or lost.
AS this letter will reach you some
where about Christmas, wish yourself
and the readers of "The Catholic
Bulletin all the joys and blessings
of that Happy Season with renewed
thanks and kind regards.
Yours sincerely in Xto,
JOS. D. SOUZA,
. B. "a 4