davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05
COLLEGE STRINGS

1 ----------------------
COLLEGE SETTINGS
Clippings from the Collegiate Comics
Of the Country.
The One Day Thanksgiving Vacation
There was man in Williamstown
Who had head of bone,
He jumped upon the b. & NJ.
And took the train for home.
And when he saw that he was home.
With all his might and main
He took another b. & M.
And came right back again.-Wil-
Hams Purple Cow.
Ring-My tailer's dunning me again.
Ding-Why don't you pay him
You have the money
Ring-Gad, never thought of that.
Princeton Tiger.
say, waiter, do eat this or does
the orchestra play it?-Tiger.
Can you tell what was the national
ity of Napoleon? Corse-I-can-Yale
Record.
When a green hand paints the town
red, he's apt to get up the next morn
ing with dark brown taste and a fit
OF the blues.--Penn Punch Bowl.
The Punch-bowl overhows with wit,
The Dial Lampoons the times;
AS the Spinx-like Widow stars a hit,
The Tiger prints good rhymes.
The Burr Records the TESTERS might.
And Gargoyle stands alone;
While the Coyote fears the Lanterns
light.
The Cow comes wandering home
Williams Purple Cow
"A little will go long way" said
the man as he spit off the WooIworth
building.-Lampoon.
Here's a funny item: Cow walks
into bank!"
Nothin funny about that. She
wanted to have her milk certified
Columbia Jester.
Prune-Oh, | say, old chap, what
are that girl and fellow doing?
Stude-Oh, just dancing.
Prme-Pardon me, dear boy, but
did understand you to say 'just?"--
Purple Cow.
Don't you find your husband an in
sufferable bore, Grace?
Yes. he is. now that he has my all.
Hats off in the presence Of the deadD
Purple Cow.
Wy-Here. is a story telling of
Indians who carry their money in
their mouths
zee-I suppose they purse their
lips.-Columbia Jester.
People say we look alike.
Well, don't know about that But
if we keep on drinking this stuff. We'll
be seeing the same.-Cornell Widow.
Life is one damn thing after an
other.
Love is two damn things after one
another.-California Pelican.
Kaiser (shaving) -Blankety blank
lang TINS razor!
Mrs. K.-What ho--milord-what
no?
Kaiser-what no? Gillette, damn
it, Gillette.-Purple Cow.
Senior-lf you don't like him, why
do you call him close friend?
Soph-Because l can't borrow cent
from him.-Pelican.
He-Dearest, you're the goal of my
affections
She-(removing his arm)-Five
yards for holding.-Lampoon
What's the coach giving that man
out OF bottle?
Inside dope.-Purple Cow
Her-Did you like that cake sent
you?
HINT was fine. We used II as a
sinker when we drowned the frat cat
Dartmouth JackO Lantern.
Why is a dog on a cake of ice like a
pretty girl?
Because they are both doggone
nice.
He-I hope I see you we'll tonight.
She-So do /. You couldn't at the
last Harvard Lampoon.
Father OF 191S-Those language
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05
LOST

LOST-On Monday Nov. 27, be
tween SALISBURY and North Benning-
ton the bottom part Of dining table.
Finder please notify Walter H. Whit
man, North Bennington and receive
reward. 51t6f
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

FOR SALE--Parlor stoves, dress
ers, commodes, white iron beds and
one upright organ. Pratt & Huyck
1872 North ST. Tel. S6s-W. 21tf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

FORSALE-A seven room house in
good repair, with a large garden. Lo-
Gated on Branch street extension. In
quire A. R. Rickert, $40 Gage street.
44tf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05
''OnIy 'Gets-It' for
H. Me After This T! I"
It SGets' Every Corn Every Time.
Painless. Nothing More Simple.

toe-eating salves for corns. I've quit
making o package out Of my toes
with bandages and contraptions-
quit digging with knives and scis-.
sors. Give me .GETS-IT' every tiineV'
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

FOR SALE-Second hand Smith
Premier typewriter IN fair condition.
Good chance to get machine cheap.
Apply at Banner Office. 12tf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

NOTICE-Highest prices paid for
dressers, chiffoners, touches, stoves
and household goods. Pratt &c
Huyck, 1872 North ST. Tel 369-W
21tf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

FOR skLE-one 1915 Ford Run.
about body, top and windshield and
one touring car body, top and wind.
shield. Remington Garage. n. w.
Williams. S2b
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

NEW ENGLAND DETECTIVE SER.
VICE (Registered)-Any legitimate
business handled with Secrecy and
Despatch. Honesty and Reliability
Guaranteed. Best References. Con-
sultation Free. Quinn Bldg, Rutland,
VT. Day and Night Telephones.
S2t25s
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

That's what they all say the very
first time they use "GETS-IT" It's
because "GETS-IT'' Is so simple and
easy to use---put it on in q few sec
onds-because there is no work. or
corn fooling to do, no pain that
shoots up to your heart, 1t gets your
corns off your mind. All the time it's
working--and then, that little, old
corn peels right off, leaves the clean.
corn-free skin underneath-and your
corn is gone! No. wonder millions
prefer "GETS-IT'.c Try it tonight.
"GETS-IT'' is sold and recon-
mended by druggists everywhere. 25c
n bottle, or sent on receipt OF price
by e. Lawrence & Co.. Chicago. Ill.
Sold in Bennington aud recommended
as the worlds best corn remed!
by w. L. Gokay.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

WANTED-To buy for cash old
stoves, ranges, dressers, bed room
suites and furniture of all kinds.
Pratt & Huyck, 1872 North st. Tel.
369-W. 21tf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

present to your poultry friend. Guar
anteed. Write for circular. Price 8
qt. Thermo Fount $500; IL at. Their
mo Fount $500. Postage paid to any
address. H. w. Gordinier & Sons
Co., Troy, N. Y. 5Ot6*
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05
MISCELLANEOUS

NOTICE-Bring so Rabbits Trade
Marks to Willoughby's for q Christ
mas Doll or Wash Board and Towel
Rack or Friction Toys or an imported
Salad Bowl or three Cups and Sauc-
ers. Include Trade Marks from Bah
bits Cleanser. 46t25
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

FOR SALE-License place on troll
ley line from Bennington to Hoosick
Falls, q miles from North Bennington,
Doing $500 business a day. Inquire
Of n. A. Hathaway. Chicken Coop Inn
att
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05

FOR sALE-one 1915 Ford Touring
ear equipped with shock sbsorbers,
robe ran, and other extras. Benning
ton Garage, II. w. Williams. S2tf
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05
WANTED

WANTED-Children's dresses to
make and plain sewing to do. Miss
Florence Whitman, North Bennington
VT. 54t6%
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-12-05
aI J. I ' DIE
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-An Oliver typewriter,
No. 3, in perfect condition, slightly
used. Address T. D. Banner Office
54t3
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15
PEACE PROPOSALS MADE.

Germany aud her allies have made
formal overtures for pence. They
have address I'd aote to the neutral
governments OF the United States,
Spain, Switzerland and the Vatican
TO make known to the Allies their
willingness to end the great world
war aud discuss peace terms. No
conditions are set forth in tho note,
Germany and her allies say they are
prepared to either quit or fight on,
but declare they caunot be conquered
and should the allies refuse to con
slider peace at this time, the reutonic
allies declare they could not be held
responsible for proloDging the strug-
gle. The proposaL came ss a sort of
a surprise, and no doubt the neutrals
addressed will now make an honest
effort to bring the world war to a
close It would certainly be fitting
celebration OF the Christmas season
IL peace could be brought about by
the 25th OF this month. The possi
bility OF peace has already affected
prices in this country on various com
modities. Wheat took bix tumble
on ths Chicago market, ranging from
E to 10 cents bushel, while cotton
rose in price. A number OF the 30
called war stocks took quite tumble.
Lot us hops that this proposal OF
peace in Europe will be tie beginning
Of the eud Of the bloodiest struggle
in history.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15
Yuletlde Again

The Yuletids season is with us
again,
1t Is with Us, but not Of Us, for
much Of the earth knows little of Joy
today.
Upon many millions Of people the
sun shines as brightly as in the days
Of old, but its luster Is dimmed by
the shielded blood Of suffering human
ty.
The benign smile Of the Divine One
is as tender and as loving as when
the world was young, but tha twen-
tieth century finds too many OF the
human race bent upon pleasure and
profit, and revenge, and forgetful Of
the beauties OF life as seen through
eyes that are better and holier than
ours.
1t Is with this knowledge that the
people Of our little community ap-
proach the Yuletide time. when oil
should be sunshine and sadness and
JOY.
But II we may not sway the rest Of
the world, II our voice be not
heard beyond the confines of our own
iresides, we yet may look upward
with a feeling of gladness and thank
fulness that the horrors that are en-
quilting the rest of the world have at
least passed us by.
We may be thankful that we have
even an houf Of peace and prosperity
for our country. though no one knows
when the withering hand Of the
blight of the century may be spread
over our own fair land.
Let us be joyful today, but let us
mingle that Joy with compassion for
the stricken ones of other lands, to
whom the Yuetide season is but .
mockery and an agonizing de!usion.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15
Communicated.

Strictly speaking, this 10 not . Side
light or perhaps a head light. Every
where the administration and the
courts are struggling with the prob
lem Of crime and The jails and peni
tentiaries are overfowing. New
criminals are being produced faster
than the old ones can be caught and
retired from circulation. Most OF
those who now have charge of enact
Ing and administering the crimina
law have approached the subject from
the erroneous point Of view that the
criminal Is one who has wilfully done
wrong and who must be punished for
1t. OF course it is necessary for So
ciety to protect itself, but the entire
point OF view of these people 10 mis-
taken one, The subject is now
undergoing revolution Of thought.
In the middle ages the most barba-
rous methods Of furnishing criminals
were used Some Of the methods
now in use in our penitentiaries are
scarcely less barbarous. There is a
constant tendency, however, toward
the idea that the criminal should be
reformed, instead Of being punished.
This is Indicated by the fact that In
some places the indeterminate sen.
tence and the parole system have
been introduced.
The average criminal is simply the
product Of bis environment. In con.
sidering this phase Of the matter it
is not necessary for us to decide
whether or not stark fatalism is the
correct theory, regardless of whether
1T is or not. No observing person will
deny that the actions of human be.
ings are for the most part determined
by their environment, or heredity,
which Is inherited environment
Neither will any observing person
deny that crime increases with cold
weather and with hard times. Ir
times and places when and where II
was easy for everybody to earn liv
ing, it was not necessary for people tc
lock their doors at night, and they
did not do so. The way to abolish
crime Is therefore to improve socia
conditions. Let society guarantee to
every willing worker, man and woman
an opportunity to earn an honest
living, enforce payment with reason
able hours Of labor and pleasant work
ing conditions and to compel his OIL
her full earnings, then most of the
criminal courts can disband for lacl
of criminals and most of the jails anc
penitentiaries can be dismantled ol
transformed into factories.
When hope dies man is disarmed
r. E. BROWN, Wood, S. d.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15
Celebrate Golden Wedding

A golden wedding celebrating the
fftieth anniversary Of Mr. and Mrs
Urbin Cachelin was held at the home
Of their daughter, Mrs. j. f. Badg.
crow In Omaha on Friday, Oct. 90
Mr.. Cachelin is an old pioneer, hav.
Ing come to Nebraska in 1855. In
1865 he was married to Frances
Church by Elder Limmsn, OF Omaha,
and eettled in DeSoto, where they
have since lived. To this union was
born SIX daughters and one son, all Of
whom were present at the celebra-
tion. George Cachelin Of blair, only
surviving brother, attended also.
Mr.. Cachein Is a civil war veteran
having belonged to Company K, First
Missouri artillery. 1t was the wish
Of Mr.. and Mrs. Cachelin to hold the
event at the old home in DeSoto and
meet all the old veterans, neighbors
and pioneer friends but the plan was
abandoned owing to Mrs. Cachelin
being quite III week ago.
Mrs. Badgerow attempted little
surprise on the old folks by secretly
inviting two old civil war veterans,
Messrs. 7. NJ. Carter Of Blair, and w.
II. Woods, Of Calhoun, the latter be-
ing unable to attend.
Mr.. Carter and Mr.. Cachelin camc
to Nebraska the same year and took
great pleasure in reviving old re-.
minisceBces.
A purse Of gold coins was presented
to the bride and groom Of afty years
young Blair (Neb.) Pilot.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15

The price Of skirts is still up. So
are the skirts.
It's only poor sport that crows
after he has won.
Do your Christmas shopping any
old time you like.
"The low cost of living" Gosh,
how good it would sound.
No, Villa isn't dead again. It's
the other fellow, as usual
Just few days more and we'll be
busy cussing the Christmas bills.
Life is never so sweet but what a
little tafiy gives it better favor.
An excellent way to get rid OF A
crouch is to forget that you have one.
BY keeping everlastingly at it some
people eventually never get anywhere
Modesty is a jewel--but, like most
jewels, in this day it is hard to find.
The man who poses as model citi-
zen is usually the biggest fake in town
Many fellow leads the van in life
and winds up at the tail end in death.
You may not know it, but there's
a lot OF good in this world just the
same.
Make it home Christmas for home
people with home money in the home
town.
Make 1t q war on the high cost OF
living and you have our unqualified
approval.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15

Dan Penney is the first person in
this vicinity to get hold of one of the
new 1917 dimes. His daughter, Miss
Sadie sent him one last Friday from
Sioux City.
The last time there was a serious
inquiry into the cost of things the re
publicans were doing the worrying
aud explaining and the democrats
were gleefully kicking the PAYNE
Aldrich dawg around.
Some statesman could acquire q
'eputation for himself by devis.ug g
plan for the employment OF all the
nen now engaged in munitions max
ng in the United States at the sam.
,igh wages they now receive when
the world war ends.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15

One week from next Monday 10
Christmas.
We have certainly had some real
simon pure wipter weather the past
week.
The ways of some women are past
understanding, and some have no
ways at all.
If fooistuffs keep on soaring we
will soon be calling it the high cost
of starving.
The butchers Of Europe keep right
on butchering regardless of the num-
ber Of sQueals
BE not alarmed at strange ant
fearsome noises The CongressionaI
mouth is working again.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15
"Do Unto Others"

Friend, bave you ever asked your
self the question: ''Is my neighbor'
hood any the better for my presence
in it," Has your community life been
such that were you to remove to some
other locality you would be- really
missed, aud missed with regret.
We believe that many of us who
consider ourselves good citizens aud
good neighbors, if We were to serious.
ly consider this question, would be
fomewhat puzzled to fnd the correct
answer.
We all know people of our commun
ity OF wnom it were idle to ask this
question. We know beyond question
that they are real assets to any com
munity that is so fortunate as to
claim them. Let us, then, in the
light Of their lives, truthfully and i'm
partially judge our own lives, and let
Us profit by that judgement.
All OF us know that good angel OF
the neighborhood. Frequently she
is frail little might of womanhood,
quiet aud unassuming, with the most
humble appreciation of her own vir
tue. Yet whenever sickness or sor
row develop in the countryaase We in
stinctively look to find her 10 attend
ance, ready to efface herself in her
miuistrstions to Others; giving of the
faith OF her own large heart TO sus
tain tho failing courage of those in
need.
And who does not know The handy
man of tho community2 He is al
ways busy, yet never so busy that he
cannot grant favor TO a neighbor.
He il the man who, when be starts to
tow n, is hailed by every housewife on
his route and loaded down With com
missions and orders to bs filed, Until
frequently when returning home his
neighbors get most Of his load. b..
is also the man you send for il you
nave q sick bors" or COW; if your crops
90 not turn out TO soft yor, you con
suit him You aall on him il a sub
scriptioD is to be circulated, and he is
always ready, not only to chip in, but
he cheerfully takes the paper from
house to house aud from man to man
until the object is attained. In fact,
when We contemplate the number of
"thanky" jobs he gets through with
in The run of n year we often wonder
how on earth he has found time to
attend to his own affairs. But he has
and he has attended to them we'll.
The truth is that we all waste many
valuable hours and days that might
better be given to these kindly miu
i,trations to others comfort aud
pleasure. We ponder Our own cares
aud perplexities, burdens aud SORROWS
until they loom as mountains in our
pathway, obscuring our neighbors
aud their affairs, until we frequently
forget that they, too. have cares and
sorrows, many times more grevious
than our own.
1t would be of real benefit to us if
we could at times forget self, and en-
ter into the joys and sorrows of others
Try it, friend, and you will be
surprised to realize how soon the care
aud sorrow have flown from your own
life aud left nrught but JOY and peace
in their stead.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15

Jones county, the new county to
ths north OF us will hold their first
election on Tuesday, January 9th.
Jack Dress of White River was an
cast bound passenger on the stage
Monday morning, enroute to Florida,
where he expects to spend the winter.
Several OF our correspondents fail
cd to reach us this week. We pre-
sumo it was too cold for them to gath
Or much news Ws certainly miss
them greatly aud our readers will also
miss them
There 10 quito sensational piece
Of news in Haypy Hollow this week
but az we have not learned any OF the
particulars, We ara unable TO give our
rcsder, any details, We are sorry
for the parties involved, but the gos-
sips will now have som-thing to keep
thsn busy for some time.
Horace Drake, who has been resi-
don't OF Melllstte county for the
psss threa years, and who has been
staying at the hotel here Tor the past
three or four months, lost his mind,
and Sheriff Stone came down from
White River Wednesday aud took
bin to the county scat This IL n
rather sad case, and all those who
know Mr.. Drake sympathixe with him
p. Scott Merrill. who left here last
May, returned 10 Wood Wednesday,
and says be is here to stay now. He
says be- expeces to get bunch OF
stock next spring and make his per
Manent home on the homestead. His
brother, "Mickv" Merrill, will probab
~ arrive here from Chicago in week
or 30 and tbs two brothers expect to
20 to ranehing here in Melleite.
Scotty's many friends are glad to see
him back in Wood.
The Carter News has done quit.
1t Is said that from two to three
thousand newspapers in these United
States will be forced to suspend on
account OF the high cost OF print paper
Va have been sending out statements
10 tho subscribers that are In arrears
and il they pay up We hope to be able
10 continue the publication of the
Pioneer. The country newspaper Ger
tainly has some hard shedding these
times, especially when the merchants
OF the town do spasmodic advertising.
There was terrible auto accident
about four miles south east of Win
ner, Thursday night of last week. 1t
appears that Chris Cole me of Colome,
and n. Z. Kile, cattle salesman for
Sioux City commission company, were
both driving their cars without lights,
ana as near as We can learn they were
going about twenty miles an hour in
opposite directions, when they met
head on In the road. Mr.. Kle suffer
ed "a fractured lex and several broken
ribs, and Mr.. Colome also had a leg
broken and received other injuries
The two injured men are now laid uI
in the hospital. The two cars wer.
also considerably damaged 1t is ex
sssdingly dangerous to run car afte
sight without lights, and it is ais,
prohibited by the laws of the stat,
Ne did not get complete particular
Of this accident.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1916-12-15
u. S. WEATHER BUREAU REPORT
\. Fer Week Ending December l3

Total precipitation from January
Let, 1915, to date, 1897
Total precipitation for 1919 1876
Total precipitation for 1914, 1887
Total precipitation for 1918, 32.42.
FREp @. KlRoH, Observer
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1916-11-23

acnem Titrmpfnt et1surihten IN ber
E9at inuisten. On man bereitS nteb'
rere Senntoren fir bicfen plnn ge'
luonnnt bdt, 70 bofft mart bic bonn
aongreB eir5uboleii0e grlaiibnib Ieid;t
gu erbnIten.
@roBe 5reitbe bat es Bel Der Tiirn.
ieitbeboroe bereiet, bob idon iest Die
slnmeloungen slr BetbeiIiging elm.
lauIen, 60 bat lid Der 2lrbeiter 5,rr.
Yerein BON Rorburp.8oit mft einer
@eianssieftion BON 100 3iirnerbar0eI
unb elmer iiarfen Siege ongeineIbet.
gs miro cine getbeiIigiing B~n iiber
5000 eripdrtet, Die grobte 1beilnet-
mer3abl, Die jeniols Elm 8nnbes. .Turn.
felt 81 per5eidnen bate.
Saiionfarten 5u So uno $40 iino
bercits in Triif gegeben uno fper6eii
in aller aiir5e 5,int gertrieb eeIntaer.
Cie aarten 5li $40 bereftigen ben Sn.
babcr ,il ie fiinf Sogeniisen an jebr,i
5asen, gum freien 3ltritt au ben Dor
tr1gen ocs .eeiitigen 3irnens~ tnio
5innl 4reisiiuaen 5itm freien Sutritf
az Dem @cIfaieiie Inn llImer pdrf, 81
eiiiem ireien gIbseihen i'm Wertbe poH
81 unS 5u jirei 5reifarten iiir oie
SuoionfaDrt nod Weitpoint. Die s.
gaiionfartcn gelu1bren basielbe nit
Dem fieiiien llnteridDieb, baB itatt g.
geuiiven MIR 90 gcnts Sise porsy
ieDen iino.
Cine ipidtiee Siei,ns bes tedIni
iheu ao,i1nlitees bes UurnerbnnneS
iinoet in Den 1agen pom 2S.--30. Rc
pentber in Snbiandpolis itatt. Sn oil
fer Sisimg lperben iainmtlide ted,ni
ide Sornrbeiten fir oas 6eit III 81.
Bege geIeitei iino jeonfaas aiid be
reit5 cine Heibe bon Deidliiiien &C
iabt, Die fir bas g9ett.Iurnen Dcn
grobier @idtisfeit iinb. Cine Sisuni
oes Observation-Disclosures 1T auf ben 10.
9s5ember mgeiest.