The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-07-25
TARRYING
A HUMORIST
By Nj. QUAD
..,. rna by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

,he ordinary child, male or fe-
.ven cracks a smile. As she
u she became more smiling still.
No same village lived Henry
. voung man OF solemn thought
s,smn face. Nobody had ever dis
j that he had a laugh. Once in
! while a feeting smile crossed
! He was a carpenter by trade,
! took life as seriously as If 1t
sted that he should fall from a
IA next day and break. his neck
i attracted to Miss Bessie by her
and he reasoned it out:
i time / should get wife. Ev-
M saws am too solemn and seri-
md guess they are right about
!, would not do for me to marry
n serious girl. / shall therefore
one who can liven me up and
me smile and laugh as other
do. Bessie Banks would do 1t.
N therefore marry her IL she viii
me-"
tjed about a dozen times to tell
4 bis great desire. and she helped
with a merry laugh. The more
hughed the more courage she gave
md the firmer his mind was made
ever to marry any girl who was
ng in mirth.
due time the words were spoken
favorable answer received. Then
marriage day was set and in due
also that date arrived. In due
Henry White knocked or his job
|hIngling a roof Of q kitchen and
Il to a livery stable for a horse and
N. He was to call at her house at
ftain hour, and they were to drive
] miles out into the country to be
lied by a minister who was a cons
b him. He arrived at the house
citing her to be all ready and to
4 and laugh as she came out to
q seat beside him.
n Henry's great astonishment the
BE to be was not at home and wait
for him, although the hour had
named the previous evening. Miss
sies mother said there must be
be mistake about 1t, as her daughter
! gone to neighbor's mile away
y would not be back for several
En. Henry had worked up a smile
be drove up to the gate Of the
hks residence, but 1t quickly faded
l became very, very solemn thing.
drove away In search of the bride,
h she came out to the gate with the
he old merry laugh on her lips.
Flow is this?" asked Henry. I'VE
NE to be married at this hour. Have
! backed out?"
|Oh, no, no, no." was the reply. "You
i thought it would be good joke
run away from you and make you
bit me up"
That was her first joke as a bride
d Henry soon discovered that a sol
n, serious girl would have made him
y trouble than a merry one. They
n not been housekeeping two weeks
fore he came to supper one evening
find that the only evidence Of mea'
Is a dish OF sliced cucumbers ant
me very cold tea.
why, what does this mean2" h'
he'd as he took his chair and looket
h the table.
II wanted to play You a joke" wa
= reply. followed by peal OF laugh
But can't see the joke" proteste
} hungry carpenter, who knew Their
IS a-plenty In the house to eat
oh, it's so funny, it's so funny
|enry! | wish you could see how so
IN your face looks. I am afraid 20
4 not going to be much of a joker"
The next good joke played o
lenry was a few days later. He cam
pme to find twelve cats in the sittin
bOm, and they were engaged in a iiv'
row as he entered.
%For heavens saket What are
Aese cats doing?" he demanded.
all the answer he got was a merI
eal Of laughter, and he grabbed Il
'pom and went In among the fightin
Zines and drove them out OF Il
'ouse with many a poke and whack.
There was one more ''joke." One ds
Tin peddler came along, and as son
I bis wares were wanted in the hou'
nd Bess had no money with which
ny, she traded Henry's Sunday 81
nd rug or two in exchange e
nange" meant in this case that 81
ad to dispose of about SIS worth
nucles for about 50 Of tinware. al
r. when the husband came home 81
aas all a-fiutter to tell him Of the gre
Afgain she had made and the Jol
ne had worked on on the peddler. 81
sailed and laughed and chuckled. b
anry broke out into words Of indign
aon and even INDUCED in threats. 81
aaghed at his words and that mig
e crept softly out Of bed and retur
! to her fathers house, and wit
aenry visited her next morning b
Alher and mother and herself said:
Henry, you are too solemn. No o.
az drive a joke into your head with
aelge hammer. 1t is better that y
I'D Bessie separate and get divor
20 that you marry Abigail Jones, VI
an old maid of forty years and W
20 solemn that she would not fet
smile If she saw any one fail ever
seeping hog ON the sidewalk"
and at last accounts poor Henry "
.eeping bachelors hall by himself a
oklng as solemn as a rock by t
tNd0Si1n Iav4ohtVssr