davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
SOON SURFEITED.

SOON SURFEITED. The poet sings of rural scenes, The music of brook know exactly what he means, As written in the book. But when I wander forth to seek For rustical delights, l haven't been away a week Before mosquito bites, And swarming flies and other pests My tribulations crown; And So l quit bucolic quests
 And hasten back to town.
 STRIKES HIM AS FUNNY. Do you believe penny saved is a penny earned?"
 Indeed. I do,' replied the eminent cap- italist, flor that's how I got my start in life, but there is hardly any observa- ton I can make that amuses my son more than that good old maxim.''
 NOT A PERFORMER. What animal in this circus menagerie interests you most?"
 "Why-er-the hippopotamus." ugh! He's an ugly brute"
 That's true, but I can't help admir- ing the hippopotamus because I under stand nobody has ever been able to make him jump through a hoop or walk around on his hind legs"
 SURPRISING DISCOVERY. You never know what you can get out of car until you put it to the test" said the speed fiend.
 That's true" answered the inexper- fenced motorist. i've taken at least 8 bushel of thingumbobs out of my ma- chine whose existence hadn't even sus- pected."
 CONTRARY TO PRECEDENT. For years he tried to keep his health, Took many strong potations And sacrificed his growing wealth For doctors ministrations. He followed all the rules, in fine For meals and exercising, And reached the age of ninety-n1ne, Which truly was surprising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
THE LAW OF BALDNESS

From the St. Louis ost-Dispatch
 The discovery of the law of the bold head is a triumph of science just won and won, too, by a woman, Miss Dorothy Osborne of Ohio State university.
 Knowing this law, you will never specu- late when you see bald headed man on the extent to which his infirmity- deformity some call it-must be due to early piety. Neither will you assume that he married unhapply or that his hair in whole or part has been sacri- ficed to intense mental effort or that he lost 1t in illness from some one of sev- eral febrile disease. Neither will you be responsive when the barber tells you that the stuff he has in a bottle is the finest thing in the world to keep it from falling out. You will know that 1t won't be of any use.
 For bald headedness Is hereditary. Yes, singeing. shampoos, massage. quinine and other tonics have value, but not as ap- piled to your head. To do you any good, they should have been painstakingly ap- piled to your parents.
 If you are a woman and both your bald If you are man and your mother was bald. you are going to be bald and there is no use doing anything about 1t. You may have more than a touch of it if your father was bald
 Miss Osborne's discovery seems to have as firm basis in observed fact as Mem dels famous law as to heredity in hy- brids and is lot more interesting It helps to make the bald-headed man. for whom science heretofore has done noth- ing at all, more reconciled To be . fatalist as to ones bald headedness- could greater relief be provided?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

From the Nashville Banner.
 THE MERCHANT AND MANU-
 FACTURER prints sn address re-
 \ gently made by MT. Frank c. Rand of St. Louis on a college commencement occasion in this city. MT. Rand is in the shoe trade and the head of large St. Louis jobbing house. The subject or his address was "The College Man Tn Business" and he made 1t the occasion to argue that the expanded necessities Of American commerce will in the future demand men of cultivated mind and proao intellisence for it's successful conduct.
 Great commercial organizations are not creations of chance,' said MT. Rand; they spring from the ideals, the dreams of their founders, and their future de- pends, not on their lucky stars, but, on the personnel and character of the new life--the fresh blood-the young men of a later generation, who shall cooperate with them and become a part of them" American commerce will become world wide in the future and 1t will demand the service of men who are worldwide in their knowledge, their ideas and ca pacity.
 MT. Rand further said:
 Public opinion in America offers great freedom to the business man; the frown of society, which tried at one time to exclude the tradesman from it's best cir cles, Is changed to smile of welcome by the character and manhood of the many great men whose lives have been spent so wisely in developing the great resources of our country"
 That exclusion never existed to any marked extent in America. It is assuredly unknown to the American world of to- day. It could exist only where there was a landed aristocrac cy entrenched be- hind laws of entail and primogeniture. The money class in America is made up of those who in a general way are called business men. That means mer- chants, and it also means bankers, brok- CTS, manufacturers, the heads of large
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
old Football Squad

with but few exceptions we will have all the old squad back for foot ball in September said Lonnie B.. Noogin, director of athletics at the University of Alabama, who is in Bir- mingham. "Of course we will lose sew eral of our best men, but since there is no more football eleven at the uni versity, and it Is called a squad, we will have some mighty fine material to draw from for this years gridiron fight. It is hard to predict at this time what we will have, but I am Of the opinion that we will have IS good, if not better, team this season than we had last.
 Prospects in other branches of ath- letics are very bright at this time. We are expecting a number of improve ments this year, and plan to put out good teams all around. Of course out of the number of athletes who attend the university, we can always pick good men, and with last years experi- ence many of the men will be able to do much better this year."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
NO REST FOR THE WEARY
From the Kansas City Times.

run tAO rAdiSdS Slty 4lIueS.
 The wife" who continues to confess" unabated in the Wichita Beacon is about to undergo most dangerous surgical operation. She has made her will and told her diary good-by, and prepared her readers for the ordeal in the most touch- ing manner. with the feeling throughout that the operation is not going to be suc- cessful. And it probably won't. The knife will slip. or something. and she'll be back confessing again in the Beacon tomorrow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
HE THAT HAS HUMANITY

By William Cowper.
 I would not enter on my list of friend (Though graced with polished manner|
 and fine sense,
 Yet wanting sensibility) the man Who needlessly sets foot upon a worm An inadverrent step may crush th|
 snail That crawls at evening in the publi
 path; But he that has humanity. ford
 warnd. Will tread aside, and let the repttj
 live. 4..I
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
ALABAMA PRESS

Ozark Southern Star: One day last week several wool growers living> in Gov ington county sold 1S.O0O pounds of wool that brought them $442o. The sale was made at Andalusia.
 Selma Journal: Selma has done nobly in seeking to take care of these victims of storm, wind and high waters, but it was a task too large for her and the vic tins are from several counties instead of one. If they were only few and con- fined to one community we could have done better with the situation, but there are too many. The state has come up with substantial gifts for relief and now 1t is nothing but right that the federal government should also help some in this unusual situation
 Mobile Item: Secretary Hester's report showing that southern cotton mills estab- lished new high record in the consump tion of cotton the past year, reaching the total annual consumption of the English mills, is an inspiring fact. The total con sumption was over 100000 bales, and as England always has been the most inn
 
 ing world this record places the south in that relation to this industry The gain in the past year was nearly 100000 bales
 Anyone with vision can see what this means to the south. The tide of manu- factures is slowly swinging away from New England, and in a few years in this one industry at least the south will hold the lead. Why should it not be so? The cotton is grown in the south; we have the greatest water power known in the world perhaps; and we are training our labor so that it is competent to do as good work as is done in the mills of New England.
 AS the south takes the lead in this in- dustry New England will have to give way before the competition from the mills of this section. Other industries will grow up side by side with cotton milling, and not only will our domestic commerce greatly increase but our ex- port trade will also feel the impulse. An other 50 years will probably see the south the richest section of the nation, and some of the most populous cities in America will be found in our borders.
 Troy Messenger Two more of the elk given the state by the government have been killed by hunters. And the hunters were fined $25 each. Notwithstanding the fact that several of the elk have been killed. Game Commissioner Wallace says that the herd is increasing.
 Roanoke Leader Will the farmers of the country slap in the face the Wilson administration after it has given them a rural credit bill which the republican through all the years it was in power?
 Anniston Star: The New Orleans States publishes an editorial under the caption. Cool New Orleans" These people have no fear of the hereafter-unless 1t is the fear of getting chilled.
 Franklin County Times: The locating of that $2000o,000, nitrate plant by the government at Muscle Shoals, does not necessarily mean that a company of es- teemed gentlemen are going to be per- mitted to exploit the water power, for private gain.
 Tuscaloosa News: As result of the staple jumped upward $175 a bale. But what's the good when nobody has any cotton to sell right now?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
Bow-LEGGED GIRLS BARRED

New York Correspondence Pittsburg Dis-
 patch.
 The bow-legged girl has no place in the chorus of Broadway musical shows. This was determined yesterday when a man. ager who was trying out girls for the chorus discovered slightly bow-legged girl and turned her down, although she had an excellent voice. 'The best formed women in the world are in the chorus" said the manager. "and the reason they are there is because of their splendid lines. We only chose girls who have 50 per cent voice and 50 per cent appearance A girl who isn't perfectly symmetrical shouldn't try to get in the chorus. be- cause common sense should teach her that there is no place for her. Most girls
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

ment, only comparatively little prog ress was in evidence.
 It remained for the spread of ty- phoid this summer to cause a general awakening of the people and the in- auguration of a practical system of cooperation among all classes.
 The mass meeting held at the First Methodist church last Thursday night with the typhoid situation in view will have good results and, it is hoped, the benefits will be lasting.
 Time and again the fact that ty- phoid fever is preventable has been impressed upon the people. That the germ is traceable directly to filth, is known to every intelligent person and that the cause can be removed. The municipal government, even in it's present straitened condition, can do and will do whatever may be reason ably expected of it, but the co-opera- tion of all the inhabitants, men, women and children, is needed to make Birmingham clean and sanitarily safe, not only now, but to keep it in a sanitary condition. With everybody willing to help this should be Bir- minghams last summer of the ty- phoid menace.
 FANY of the guardsmen who are lVl now on border service are soon to be excused from further duty on the ground that they have families who are dependent on them. Maj. Gen. Tas- ker H. Bliss, assistant chief of the
 army staff, National Guard After who is now Service on Border m k ing a spection of the National Guard camps on the frontier, finds conditions alto gether satisfactory. The guardsmen have good food and plenty of it. The health of the men is excellent and, with some exceptions the rank and file are contented. But the number of those who are dissatisfied grows, and every grumbler has bad influence on comrades who are ordinarily well disposed. Any disaffection in camp naturally lowers the morale of an en- tire command. Fortunately there Is comparatively little of discontent on the border. But after the National Guard is no longer needed for patrol purposes it will be in order for the war department to reorganize it, and in doing so men with families and men with faultfinding dispositions should be eliminated. Such rules might re- suit in large reduction in the nu- merical strength of the organized militia, but seventy-five or eighty thousand men absolutely dependable for toeing the mark like regulars would be much more efficient body than one hundred and twenty thou and, many of whom would, when camp life became monotonous or when they became homesick, ask to be excused.
 4 UGUST IA and 15 will be ob- A served as good road days in Alabama-days when, according to the governors proclamation, "all citi- zens are enjoined to suspend, as far as practicable, their daily work, and
 to contribute their Interest in States time and aid to- Good Road Days wards forwarding
 this movement for permanent and lasting improve ment." In previous years we had good road days only by proclamation of the states chief executive, but last fall the legislature enacted law giving
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

Thou great Father, soul from whom all blessings flow, feed us with the bread of heaven, that we may be strong of mind, pure of heart, fearless of action, ever ready
 to follow wheresoever Thou dosf lead in the spirit of Him who died that we might live. Amcn.-COuden.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

who go on the stage in the chorus get
 the idea in the first place on account of
 their well formed bodies. Two girls getI to comparing their figures and one says| that the other should go on the stage.! If they have any kind of voices they come' down and apply. Sometimes, of course, some of the girls are exceptionally gifted' with beautiful curves and they ars' placed in conspicuous places But those( in the back row will stand any test ands they are practically the same as the frontI row girls. We never yet have had al complaint from any of our patrons thatl the girls were bow-legged. On the otherl hand. we have had regular customers whoS come night after night because they wers5 fascinated by the trim figures. I bel lieve the American chorus girls. and thel home ones in particular. are the bestY formed women on earth. especially about the knees"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
MARKED IMPROVEMENT.

MARKED IMPROVEMENT. What's happened to Professor Diggs?" T haven't noticed anything the matter with him." Why, he looks 10 years younger" "oh, Miss Diggs is to be married soon. In honor of the occasion she has per- suaded the professor to have his beard trimmed and his hair cut.'
 WORTH SEEING.
 A movie play
 Is booked today .n I,e That promises a thrill; The critics say
 The stars display -~ Of clothes is simply nil.
 Birmingham Age-Herald.
 I saw that play
 On yesterday,
 But I'll admit, old scout,
 That while the star
 Was really thar ~ I know not what twas about. Macon. H. c. M.7
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

the QdCeS named the CIdTdCCer Ol fixed institution.
 The governors proclamation this year was in conformity to one of the requirements of the act to the end that he shall call attention to the law and explain the purpose for which the good road days are set apart.
 The work to be done on the 14th and 18th will be under the general supervision of the state highway de- partment, of which John Craft of Mo- bile is president, and the act of the legislature requires it ito annually prepare and publish for distribution a good road days programme or book let" The first suggestion which the department offers to those who are to give their services is to hold meeting a day or two in advance and outline the work to be done and appoint a superintendent or foreman. Other timely suggestions are made and if they are adopted new high record of achievement may be expected next week.
 In the pamphlet issued by the high way department is found much in formative discussion pertaining to road construction, including a con- tribution on maintenance by Assistant State Highway Engineer R. P. Boyd. It should be in the hands of every farmer in Alabama.
 bold robbery was perpetrated ir Detroit because spectators thought a motion picture play was being acted. Nobody seems to have noticed the ab- sence of the camera man.
 .
 The captain of the Neckar says he knows when the Bremen will arrive, but the pro-ally sympathizers around Baltimore reply, Let him alone. He's talking to a stranger"
 young man dropped in yesterday to ask where he could find a life of Sir Roger Easement. He was requested to give the biographers a little, more time to look over their notes.
 A Chicago man who called the police to stop an actress from playing rag time at o'clock in the morning should remember that midnight is early to theatrical folk.
 If Warden Osborne uses his job at Sing Sing as stepping stone to the governorshp, Tom Brown" will not appear such disinterested reformer after all.
 Nostrums are being sold in New York for the cure of infantile paralysis live, but many of them reach ripe old age.
 Andrew Bonar Law compares Ger many to wild beast, which the al- lies will have to shoot. That looks like a strong hint to the munitions work CTS.
 The man who converted Billy Sunday is dead in Chicago. He successfully fought the demon rum for many years without the aid of a star trombonist
 With the thermometer hoverins around the 100 mark, MT. Hughes should be able to live down his repu tation for coldness. if not aloofness.
 According to a recent estimate, the per capita wealth of the country i. $2000 but it isn't distributed that way
 The young man whose sole object ir life is raising a toothbrush mustache usually takes his meals at home.
 President Wilson contrives to spoi his cruises on the Mayflower by talk ing along stenographer.
 A man-eating shark will never look the same after figuring in a dynamite explosion
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
COLLEGE MAN IN BUSINESS

corporations and men of affairs. Within their ranks is included by far the greater part of the wealth of the country. They own the splendid estates. drive in the finest cars and through the fashionable resorts. They are what is called society in this country and there is none other whose frown they need dread
 A book recently published that is att tracting some attention is called The Heritage of Tyre" It is not in the ac- customed sense historical romance" as the title might lead some to suppose, but an argument in favor of building an American merchant marine. The Phoeni- clans of old, whose chief city was Tyre, were the first to build a great sea traffic and the merchants of Tyre were it's princes. They were clothed in purple and fine linen'' The nations that have succeeded to Tyres heritage, the great trade nations of the world, have been the richest and in many respects the most advanced. The United States should suc- ceed to the heritage of Tyre. and to that end it should have great men in trade, men with all the advantages that education can give.-
 It is much of problem in these latter days what constitutes liberal education, but that aside, good mental training cul- ture and intelligence are all needed to make the man who is equipped for the first order of business, and he is the kind that the country in the future will much| demand.
 It doesn't argue anything against this theory that the country is full of success full business men without education. There Is no such man whom education would not have improved, and the world is ad- vancing. The country is growing and in the future must get beyond provincial standards. It's statesmen, professional men and scholars can't fill the needs of its business progress, and men of the first order of intelligence will be needed to fill it. MT. Bands theme was a very timely one, one that N is profitable to consider. There is wide field for the "college man in business
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
Peculiar Weather

"The weather that Birmingham Is getting at the present time is cer- tainly peculiar" said Capt. J. Nick Sey- mour of East Lake park. Tt is most ucertain, raining one day and the tner- mometer registering around the 100 mark the next.
 T have spent a great deal of my time in travelling about the country and spending a long period in each district but never have I witnessed the like. The past raining spell was too much for me. flooding the Bir- mingham district as we'll as the entire state. I recently returned from north Alabama and the crops in that section of the state are badly damaged.
 The cities are not so materially ef- fected, however. and the majority of the small towns in the top part of the state are enjoying thriving business The people cant get over the weather, however, and that's their chief topic of discussion"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
State Fair Catalogue

"The catalogue for the Alabama State Fair is in the hands of the printer and within a short time will be distributed" said Mrs. J. B. Reid, who has charge of the woman's de- partment at the fair. "The women's S department this year at the fair will be better than ever before. The ex- hibits continue to come in and appli- cations for space are being received daily. The greatest trouble we are go- ing to have is in allotting the space, for there will not be enough to go around.
 T have received numerous inquiries from all parts of Alabama through the articles printed in The Age-Herald about the women's department and it is going to be the best ever this fall"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06
RIGHT IN STYLE.

RIGHT IN STYLE. This musical comedy company had all its trunks attached at the last town" well, what of that?" 1T guess the chorus will have to ap- pear in street clothes.'' ''Even at that, I dare say their skirts are short enough to show whether the girls are shapely or not"
 PASSING STRANGE. 'well! well! Here's one moving picture actor who acknowledges that he isn't getting 5000 a week." whats the matter with the poor fel. low? Has he lost his self-respect?"
 THE BRIGHT SIDE. Oh, it's hard to be contented When your little home is rented And the landlord will not make desired
 repairs; But there's recompense by Hector, For you know the tax collector Adds no little to the burdens that nc
 bears.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

I do hate a proud man, as l hate the engendering of toads.
 -Troilus and Cressida.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

TELEPHONE Hell (priynte exchange connecting all aeparttnentst Main 49OO.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

Ozark Southern Star: One day last week several wool growers livinsS in Gov ington county sold 1900 pounds of wool that brought them A42O The sale was made at Andalusa.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

Anniston Star: The New Orleans States publishes an editorial under the caption, Cool New Orleans" These people have no fear of the hereafter-unless 1t is the fear of getting chilled
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

Franklin County Times: The locating of that $20,000O00, nitrate plant by the government at Muscle Shoals, does not necessarily mean that a company of es- teemed gentlemen are going to be per- mitted to exploit the water power, for private gain
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

Tuscaloosa News: As a result of the governments bullish cotton report, the staple jumped upward $1.75 a bale. But what's the good when nobody has any cotton to sell right now?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-08-06

Roanoke Leader: Will the farmers of the country slap in the face the Wilson administration after it has given them a rural credit bill which the republican party did not raise finger to promote through all the years it was in power?