The Blackfoot optimist. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1907-1918, 1916-10-05
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Single Track Minds,

WHdL 10 uCS dShCu AAACSdAs 0uAS
at Injainnypoles he said he was full
Of Annymated Concerv'tism. Fwhat's
that We say7 T'is the turn-table on
the wan thrack mind. 1t kapes spin
MIN round and round an divil man
can tell fwhat switch it will pick up.
1t dinnau itself. So We dinnau where
to lay for it.
"T'was so wild the arrumed freight
ships. They're not warships,' he says,
'onless change me mind he says,
which have he says, an annywan
who says so is liar he says, but
refuse to discuss it, he says. I'll
pass the buck to Congress- he
says, 'on'y WON'T he says, for tbs
no business of theirs he says though
they must vote on the resolution he
says, to show where they stand he
says, 'Hince yen lay it on the table,
he says, AN thin they can't vote
says Wudthrow to Stone.
"I-I-thought I seen a fallacy,'-
says Stone, timid like, but the Great
Idaylist brung down his tisht wild a
lump.
"'Table the resolution says he,-an'
away goes Stone.
"'Fwhat does this meanY axes the
Sinit.
'Gintlemen,' says Stone, weepin'
bitterly. 'Ye can frisk me. But thim's
the ORDERS says Stone, AN If amy
man ivir knew fwhat it meant he's
KEEP quiet about it,
$50 wild the fightin' wurd. We're
too proud to fight says this turrible
man to a bunch iv just-overs at Phila-
dephy. 'Haw-Haw-Haw,' says the
wurld "a laugh gets his goat, Jawn).
I was thinkin' Nv somethin' didn't
say yells Wudthrow. 'HawHaw-
Haw,' says the wurld, laughin' to split.
"Be this an be that Too Proud to
Fight has made the reppytashun Nv
Wudthrow. T'is like the Monroe Doc
trine to Monroe, or Emanshipashun to
Lincoln. Twas TRANSLATED into ivry
tongue. Tis better known than the
twenty-third psalm, or the famous or
alton iv the Guv-nOr Nv North Carliny.
If an Ashtantee pOked another in the
eye, he's give him the coon FIR Are Ye
Too Proud to Fight?' an they'd both
laugh befure they wint to the flure.
All the recruitin' signs abroad had it
an the shame wud bring three recruits,
where "Tipperary' or rum wud bring
wan. oh, won't We place stop laugh
IMP says Wudthrow, but they laughed
the more. SO he sinds Jim Ham Lew
is to explain. He's called Ham by rea-
son he's so fond Of pork
"'Three thousand years agOne,' says
Jim Ham, 'or maybe less says he, AN
ould Dago said Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry Tor the like O. that, Jawn. II
means not to have chip on yel
shoulder). Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry says Jim Ham, AN julius Say
zer,' says he, AN Tolmy Philadelpby,
says he, AN the Earl Nv Cheatem,
says Jim, AN William Hatch Seward,
says Ham, AN lot more l forget,
says Ham, who felt the same way,
says Jim, although he says, they
nivir said so,' says Jim Ham to the
Sinit.
"'Now,' says he how, I axe We, cue
the Prisidint know that the cultivated
Christian aujience,' he says, Nv immy
grants says he, 'wud fail to grasp thu
nooance,' says Jim Ham An Jawn
they shut the dures the way the PEG
Pile wudden't see the Sinit lose it.
dignity
"Fwhat's a nooance? asked Nal
umphy.
''T'is sort Nv intellectual gOlt
BRICK" replied Finnegan, slightly puz
zled, 'be which We say fwhat We doan
name, an name wye doant say. TIL
nOoance comes out Nv it somehow
Tis like l dinnau what. Just exactl,
like it," he added after a short pause
! II cudden't tell thin apart"
! "Well," said Malumphy, "the singl
thr9ck mind gets nowhere, I'm think
In"
9TH gauge is none too broad" re
piled his friend. IAN the thrafiic'
heavy" he added.
mon Dinicare est Vincere.