The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-05-20
THE POSTUM
PARTY
BY NJ. QUAD
By NJ. QUAD
copyright, 1915, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.l

Last month the folloWlng colOreu
gentlemen and politicians met at Para
disc hall in response to circular let
ter from Brother Gardner:
Judge Persimmon Longbody of Ten
nessee, who held the office of constable
once for thirty days and knows how
good it is.
Colonel Cabiff Rocky of Kentucky,
who sweeps out the postottice in Louis
vile, but had far rather be postmas-
ter.
Brassbound Johnson of Maryland.
who has led his cohorts against many
a melon patch and will again. by thun-
der!
Major Bloker of Ohio, who says that
taking a chicken Off the roost without
q squawk is an art.
Several other delegates were to be
on hand, but the constable rallied in
force and drove them back.
Brother Gardner stated that the
meeting was for the purpose of put
ting presidential ticket in the field at
an early date and the party would be
Cdlleu lnt OoSuh poANS Inv 1900
ter was thoroughly discussed and set
tied, and there was an adjournment to
later date.
There was mighty gathering at
Paradise hall Saturday evening, and,
] acting en- the suggestion of Brother
Gardner, about fifty members had
| brought their wives with them. 1t had
been announced on the bulletin board
that the Hon. Crabtree Jones of Ala
bama would deliver u political speech,
and the audience was ready to give
him an enthusiastic greeting. He APP
peared promptly at the hour named
and was introduced by the president
amid vociferous applause.
Respectable fellow citizens" began
the orator as he got his feet planted on
the proper spot, two weeks ago dar
was a-bornin' in dis famous hall which
has made talk fur 10,OOO,OO0 people.
1t was de bornin' of a new political
party.
MY fr'en's, | had bin waltin' thirty
vars fur de dawn of freedom. hev
bin waitin' thirty vars fur de birth of
de lOSSum party.
"Freemen of free land, patriots who
ar taliin' yo'r fust breath of liberty.
I'm lookin' at dat stuff possum which
we have adopted as our sacred emblem
an arter which we hev taken our
name. lTyphoonic yells.l Oar has
cher bin bond of sympathy between
de cull'l man an de possum. Dey
! | 10. xx,tI 10 iu N
Dey has had to keep still till folks look
ed upon 'em as dead. ISigns Of groans
and repressed agitatlon.l However
it's gwine to astonish hull continent
de way dat pOssum will let go an
drap down into de row an demand an
fight fur his sheer Of de spiles. tWhirl
winds OF applause. during which tn
stove fell over unheeded.l
"Yo' Jest git out yo'r pencils an
figger IA mint. Dere's Ober 100000
black men in dis kentry who am emit
tied to walk to de polls on 'leckshu
day an cast vote. IL dey but hang Il
gether yo' can't count EN- out nor kee
'em back. Dem 100000 votes al
gwine to be cast for principle, bu
doan' make no mistake bout principle
We used to think dat It meant votiI
on sartin' lines an dat George Wasf
ington, Abraham Lincoln, de constit
= shun of de United States an sebera
odder things was mixed up wild 1t, M
. we walked up an put In our votes a
. If each an cherry one was gwine
! save de kentry. But we parned
from de white man. lCries OF 'Yo' be
:, we hev!l We hev Earned dat he sot
out on political campaign wild car
load of principles to glib away fire
. gratis an punctuate his speeches, bu
y when de ballots am counted up he lay
I down his principles to pick up his o
. fee.
1--WE am gwine to take fiyleaf frol
10 de white mans book. Well stick
. principles, but wen look out fur q
spiles as we'll
y my fr'ens, daylight has cum at la
q fur us. Yves got our bundles packe
an hev started ON de road. We's g
- headed right, an ives only to keep {
II to find de bee tree an be on han
u when de honey am divided up. lYel
for honeyl Keep yo'r eye on de pa
u sum an yo'r brains in yor heads a
= YOU win victory dat Bunker III
couldn't hold a candle to. lGener
hoarseness, but prodigious applause
. | want a word mo- befo' | close. ID
" am to be a plain, airnest campaign {
e our part We amt gwine to say muc
but what we do say will hit de ba
" doah like a load Of buckshOt. Doa
- cit de idea dat big words am gwine
y help yo' win what belongs to yo. Il
70 dis meetin' opened tonight | hea
Waydown Bebee obsarve dat de mall
nant innuendo OF de torrid affilashl
would enhance de generality Of de POI
- posity. He probably meant well, 9
:, mebbe his observation has helped
90 to git started, but / hope he won't
no 1t ag'in. Doan nobody do It, Dis
~ no dictionary campaign. mo, no!l
- will he plain puddin' an milk at hol
no an plain English when yo' am walk
up and down wild possum badge
al yo'r breast an flag OF liberty In y
no hand. Muffin counts quicker nor ha
er dan to call a man a liar an
ns languidge am SO simple dat child
At understand it. / will now return
i'm my thanks an bow my gratitude
NO de welcome handed out to me-"
nd The orator sat down amid applal
as that broke windows and put out ligl
H. and it was continued until the pol
came up the alley stairs and drop
ed three women and four men down vi
40 the sand nile below The Postum |