Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-08-31
WHAT CAN FATTY DO?
Among Other Things He Can
Take q Lot Of Advice and
Do as He Likes.
FACTS HAMMER THEORIES


"What," asks the Worlds Work in
the first of series of heath articles
which are to range from obesity to
typhoid and pneumonia, f"what can
fat man dor"
Well. that depends. If he is a Ma
poleon he can rebuild the world. II
he is Henr, VIII he can put through
a Reformation. II he is Benjamin
Franklin he can put over d revolution
and hirt with the marquises. If he
is Mirabeaa he can nearly stave of
q revolution. II he is Gibbon he can
write a history OF Rome. If he is
Samuel Johnson he can send the voice
OF common sense roaring through the
centuries, II he is Chesterfield he
can shoot off enough half-sane reali-
ties in five minutes to keer a COLLECT
faculty busy for the rest Of their lives.
II he is Balzac he can write an en-
encyclopedia OF the human heart. If
he is Caruso he can sing like an angel
as distinguished from a Wagnerian
tenor. II he Falstaf he ca, keep the
Joy OF life going for ESQ years and
hand over the task to Pickwick and
Wardlc. II he is Cleveland he can put
his foot down and not give damn.
II he is Tat lie can go on proving the
utter absurdity OF the idea that no.
body loves a fat man.
But what the writer in the Worlds
Work means, of course, is what can a
fat man do not to be fat. Naturally
he begins by quoting Mr.. Taft whose
good nature is never more conspicuous
than in tho readiness with which he
lends himself to the uses Of the writer
on diet. About this time Of the year,
the alnianacs might say, look for a
picture Of the ex-prcsident in the
magazines, before and after treat
-ent. Oaly this time the pictures in
Worlds Work are not convincing.
Mr.. Taft before dieting is shown in
light-colored sack-suit with a
strong suggestion of a check in the
pattern. After dieting he is shown
in black cutaway. Now il you will
recall what black does to give the APP
pearance OF slimness and If you make
further allowance for the flowing
lines Of the afternoon coat, buttoned.
as compared with the square-rigged
lines Of the business" sack-coat, I'M
bu.toned, the two photographs really
do not make out a complct- case.
But that is the way with all photo
graphs intended to supply irrefutable
evidence such as mere words cannot
convey.
Some Pictured Scenes.
By reading carefully what the pho
tographer has written underneath the
picture, you can always tell whether
you are looking at train wreck in
Northumberland or the fragments OF
i Zeppelin at Saloniki. Even i.iore
important than its delineation Of still
fife is the vivid sense the camera
gives you Of the emotions Of crowd
under various stimuli. Season opens
q, Piping Roc" --men and women
looking at the camera man and smil-
ing. Starving Berlin crowd swarm
ing about movable soup kitchen
women and children with TIN cups
smiling at the photographer. Pre-
inier Asquith walking through Sack
vile street, Dublin" las happy as II
Ne were going TO the links. Every
body in Europe loves the man with
the -amera and beams Ipon him.
So Mr.. Taft says; Il have lost sew
enty-five pounds since the 4th OF
March, 1915. My diet has not been
severe" Now | recall thar Mr.. Taft
was quoted TO the same effect in the
summer OF 1915, and in the spring Of
1914, and in the early winter OF 1918.
! have not the exact figures with me,
but roughl, should say that in
the last five or six years MIR. TAFT
has lost between four and five pounds.
Doubts about system Of diet capable
Of producing such drastic results are
out OF the question. What remains is
only to publish the secrets Of the OPP
positc diet which Mr.. Taft employs to
counterfeit the reduction process.
Concerning Dieting.
The Joint results would then sup
oily material for two articles, ono on
Tie cure Of obesity and one on "
TO lay on flesh. The first we nave
before US. To grow thin you lave
merely to give up the following for
hidden foods:
I. Pork, ham, bacon, and the fat t
any meat. (That is to say, you have
merely to abstain from the bill Of
fare upon which the British empire
and Anglo-Saxon civilization hive
been built up.)
2. Bread, biscuits, crackers, ;ny-
thing made OF flour OF yheat, corn,
I {, barldey, oats, etc.
(This means giving up the food on
which was built all OF Semitic civiliza-
ton and at least three great religions
the Jewish. the Christian, and the
Mechanically
3. Rice (and so goodbye to China
and Confucianism), macaroni 1.-THE fall
OF the Roman empire before il began,
potatoes tmaking blank from Pat
rick to Synge), corn, dried cans, LEM
ills thus eliminating 400,0000O0 Hin
dus and several religions, chief among |
them Buddhism and Brahmanism).
Mix, cream, cheese, butter.
THE original foods Of the Afyan
peoples; the plain diet Of the simple,
loyal, pious. lndo- European race
whose only true descendants are now
engaged in simply, loyalty and piously
burning down the French and Belgian
cathedrals, the pristine Writes appar-
entity ersisting some time after the
primitive foods have declined to a !
point where a food-dictator has be-
come necessary in the person Of Won
Batocki, who may soon rival Mr.. Taft
W.. ,.ssAs. An .,lcrice hut thia