davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
doctor SAM" LIVES ALL
ALONE ON FARM; HAPPYi
His Little Home Contains Many .ArtI.
oles that Hark Back to Days Of
the Sfade Coac,


oles that Hark Back to Days OF
the Stage Coach.
Windsor, vt.-The day of the al
chemist on the back streets OF the
cities are probably gone, but the un
usual continues to keep abreast OF
its record in the country districts
Living alone on the farm where he
was born 60 years ago at least, IN
Hartland, VT, is DIR. Samuel Eugene
Stevens. known generally as DR.. Sam,
where he writes his books and sets
them into type.
The doctor never served an appren-
ticeship to the printers trade but he
is a very careful compositor and bet
ter than the average man on the job
press, SO that the work turned out
by him would pass as that oe finish
ed craftsman. The doctor says he en-
joys this pastime the best OF anything
that he has attempted since he retired
from the practice of medicine about
ten years ago.
The little farmhouse where he lives
alone in the summer has many arti-
Giles that bark back TO the days of the
stage coach. The old melodeon which
has been in the family for many years
occupies a prominent place in the
household furniture Yet there is a
modern piano there upon which the
aged doctor printer plays to while
away the loneliness.
The once well titled farm of his an
tecedents no longer shows the touch
of the plow 1t is all meadow land now
but looks all the more in harmony
with the spirit of leaving nature alone
that seems to pervade the surround.
ings OF this clustered spot. DR.. Stew
ems has had a varied experience as all
have had who at the close of busy
life seek such removed places and
PASS the evening of their life in con
temptation.
1t is the metaphysical that interests
this retired doctor now He completed
a book in the year 1908 called the
PHILOSOPHY of the Great Unconscious"
The title would mislead the average
person, but the text shows that the
writer has an intimate knowledge with
the works OF Darwin, Huxley and 9th
er scientists. The title of the book that
the doctor is now writing is called
"The Economy of Misery"
DR.. Stevens is graduate of the
University of Pennsylvania in the
class of 1871, pIacticed in Vermont
and in Iowa, and is still registered
pharmacist. The doctor says medi-
cine is a more or less uncertain
science He advises people to avoid
doctors because, as he puts It, 1t is
great thing to be able to die a natural
death.
The old home farm where this man
lives has been christened as Spring
LODGE Perhaps it gets its name from
the spring water that is short way
from the house. The water in this
spring is cold all the year round. II
was on a hot day that the correspond
ent visited the place, and the taste Of
spring water at that time was good
one to test its virtue.
DR.. Stevens never married to which
fact he attributes his ability as a
and cook. He can cook
skilfully and his house betrays no sign
OF masculine negligent" He is happy
in the unique work he is doing, and,
he observes where a person has found
happiness, what more can he ask?
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
BECAUSE

A man looks you straight in the eye
is no sign he won't wink behind your
back.
A man can't write his own name
doesn't prove he can't sign a big
check.
A woman has lot of wrinkles is
no sign she has other worries.
man wears smile on his face Is
no sign he finds life joke.
A man holds up his chest is no sign
lot of folks aren't trying to knock i
in.
A woman's thickest raiment is
coat Of powder is no sign she'll freeze
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
ChangeabIe Weather Brings Sickness

The changeable weather of March
causes coughs, colds, Group and grippe.
There is no such thing as eight cold"
none that a person can safely neglect.
Foley's Honey and Tar is a safe and
reliable family medicine that heals in
famed, congested air passages, stops
coughs and eases breathing. -Hites
Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
WASHINGTON MOST WAsTEFUL
Leads all American Cities In Throw
ing Away Food

ing Away Food
Washington, ID. C.-The federal gov
eminent conducts many kinds of in
vestigations, but Washington was
hardly prepared to learn that United
States agents had been digging into
the garbage dumps of the country.
AS result of this latest inquiry,
the department of agriculture an
nounces that Washington is the most
wasteful city in the United States.
Careful examinations Of the contents
of garbage cans were made with a
view to determine what percentage
of food products daily thrown away
might have been put to wholesome.
use had housewives of the various
cities conducted their establishments
more economically.
A complete report on the Federal
Governments investigation will he
published soon.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
THEY Do SAY

That bookishness is excused in a
school teacher as part of her trade,
but there are lot of people who think
bookishness is polite name for shirt
lessness.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
Rabbit DiscIoses Treasure

Pratt, KAMA Mexican hunting
Iear here, ran a rabbit into hole.
He pulled bunny out, but the rabbit
held to a sleeve in mans jacket
The jacket contained large swag Of
heavy silverware.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
FEEBLE, AGED WOMAN
Saws Vinol Made Her Strong

Grand Saline, Texas.-'T am an aged
woman and for a long time was weak
and feeble but Vinol restored my health
and strength so that feel almost young
again and am doing all my housework.
Old people who are weak and feeble
should try Vinol and know its merits as
! do. 1t Is the best medicine to create
strength and for chronic colds / have
ever taken. Mrs. FANNIE E. RODGERS.
Vinol, our delicious cod liver and iron
tonic, is sold on our guarantee to benefit
or your money will be returned.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
MUST LEARN EARTH is ROUND
ArnIsh Girl Ordered to School Despite
Fathers Greed.

Chadron, O.-Despite the fact that
her father countrymen believed the
world to be flat, Mary Miller, a Mid
dlefield Amish girl, must go to school
and learn the contrary.
This was the decision of Justice
Brigden at Middlefield after a bitterly
fought suit to compel Joe Miller, her
father, to send the girl to school.
Justice Brigden decided the case in
favor of the state and fined Miller S.
and costs. Motion was made for a
new hearing. Middlefield Amishmen
win back Miller In fighting the case
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

Even Prohibitionist makes no kick
about the horn of plenty.
You can bank on finding a well-filled
pocket book interesting.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
BOLTS WANTED.

We want to buy few hundred cords
OF four-foot bolts in hemlock, spruce,
pine and balsam, 6" and up in
diameter, smooth, straight stock, all cut
40" long. Will buy same delivered on
car on f. j. G S. r. R. or in our yard.
EAST JORDAN, CABINET co.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That some women when they see j
man, have look in their faces indi-
eating the wrongs of their sex for a
good many years back.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11
cHARLEvoix COUNTY HERALD
q. A. LIsk. Publisher
ONE DOLLAR PER YEAR

Entered at the Dostoffice at East Jorcan
Michigan. as second class mail matter
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

The woman who neglects her hus-
bands shirt front is scarcely the wife
Of his bosom.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That the modest friend who offers
to lend you couple of dollars when
you are broke is far more worthy Of
your praise than the hero of hun
dred battles
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That when love spoils, ii is abou
the worst>mess imaginable.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

Some music is given out by the
choir but the drummer dispenses II
by the pound.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

to eat; but she rarely has enough
clothes.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That considering that they never
learn or voice anything new, the bird
singers are mighty popular.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That mothers are most apt to be
reminiscent of the days when they
were young and pretty girls and ev-
erybody paid them attention, while
fathers seem to run more to jokes.
And between mothers "reminiscences
and fathers jokes, the children are
usually worn out by the time they
leave home.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That it took father time thousands
If years to make man of a monkeJ,
but girl can make monkey of a
man in two minutes.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That even if you have nothing to
give the poor but crust of bread,
make it palatabie by softeiing it with
little of the milk of human kindness.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

That man is still a savage to the ex-
tent that he has least respect for those
things that can't hurt him.
Charlevoix county herald., 1916-03-11

Time works wonders. So would men
it they put in twenty-four hours each
day, as time does.
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20
SCHOOL BOARD
PUTS BAN ON
PINK TOOTSIES
Little Pupil Does Ballet Dance
and Boy Speaks FIippantIy
of HadeS.

SAN FRANCISCO. Oct. Because
members and friends OF the Apollo Art
club, Of the Polytechnic high school
gazed upon the pink tootsie- wootsios
of little fourteen-year-old dancing
girl, from now on all entertainments
given in San Francisco public school
buildings, outside of regular school
hours, must be first submitted to the
censorship Of the board OF education.
And If there are any bare toes, or
If any ballet dancer is so bold as to
wear the costume decrecd by custom
for her art-well. II looks like there
are going to be numerous crasures in
the program. For the board of edu-
cation doesn't like such frivolity and
it went on record yesterday to say so.
The Storm Center.
Just now the storm center of the
controversy over what is good for the
youth of the schools, and what is bad
for them. is about Miss Marea Van
Week, head Of the department of art
in the public schools, and j. Il. Addi-
colt, principal Of Polytechnic high
school. Miss Van Week may consider
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20

herself scolded severely for allowing
little Miss Helen WGrnso to display
her feet, little Miss Emclic Cuverwell
TO do n regular ballet dance and seven,
teen ycar-Old Ben Rubin to speak. in
manner considered flippant of hadcs
THE members of the board ccnsurc
Miss Van Week for the want Of discre-
ton shown by her in not recognizing
that with students OF high school age
such a dance is directly injurious,
says Il signed statement OF the board of
education. and referring to n Grccian
dance given by Miss Wernse in Orient
al costume at the Polytechnic enter
taihment.
And Hereafter
Hereafter" continues the state
ment. TO prevent a repetition Of en-
tcrtainmonts that are in part repre-
hensible the board of education will
insist that the program Of all enter
tainments held in school buildings.
outside Of regular school hours. be
submitted for approval"
The statement is signed by George
b. Gallagher. Dr. A. A. DAncona,
Miss Sallie j. Jones and Miss Agnes
G. Rcgan, members of the board. Su-
pcrntendcnt of Schools Alfred Rom
covlcri did not learn of the secret un-
til it was all over.
Il was pretty angry when first
heard OF THIS said Helen Wernse.
But Wien about forty people at
school came and told me my dance
was all right felt better"
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20

education. but it was refining, artistic
and uplifting | am willing to give
the performance over again before any
audience
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20
MURDERED MAN BURIED.

Funeral services over the body OF
Frank Bonaflgllo, aged A years, who
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20

was murdered at his home at the Tin
Plate addition early Wednesday
morning, were held at 10 o'clock
Friday morning at the Lynch Osborn
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20

tionablc."
Not only was the entertainment not
immoral in any way" was the reply
of Miss Van Week to the board OF
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1916-10-20

Undertaking Company's chapel on
West Main street. The burial was in
local cemetery.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
WEST GARDINER
Bits.

Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Wakefield Of
Gardiner were recent guests of Mrs
Wakefield's father, G. Hartwell Clough
Miss Eunice Cairns of Gardiner
passed the week. end with her parents
Mr.. and Mrs. j. S. Cairns.
Mr.. and Mrs. Herbert L. Heald OF
Hallowell passed Sunday at w. G.
Spears.
Miss Gladys Benson, student al
Cony High school, recently visited her
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Asa Benson.
Misses Ruth and Mildred Head OF
Hallowell were week end guests OF
their friend. Miss Pearl Spear.
The dance and oyster supper given
at the Grange hall by the Ladies' Cir
Gle was well attended.
Miss Alice Spear left Sunday for a
weeks visit with relatives in Augusta
and Hallowell.
Mr. and Mrs. Guy r. Snow were
Sunday callers at Hon. r. l.. Shows
Mrs. Allen Wakefield and son Milan
of Augusta returned home Monday
after passing several days with Mrs
Wakefield's parents, Mr.. and Mrs
Warren Davis.
Edwin Baker left Monday fol
Springfield, Mass, where he has en-
ployment for the winter.
Mr.. and Mrs. Alden Spear of Man.
chester were Sunday callers at Elijah
Fairs.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25

For Z fssl Pick.
UP Luncheon Try
that most delicious, nourish-i
ing, whole wheat food.
Triscuit, the shredded
wheat wafer-toast. It con-.
tains all the bodybuilding
material in the VIII ole
wheat grain, including the
bran-coat which promotes
healthful and natural bowel
movement. It is real whole
wheat bread without yeast,
baking powder or chemicals
of any kind - an ideal food
for children because it COM
pels thorough mastication
and insuresperfect digestion.
A crisp, tasty smack" for
picnics or excursions. Toast
in the oven and serve with
butter or soft cheese. Made
at Niagara Falls, N. Y.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
MONMOUTH

Wednesday evening, Nov. %, was OBJ
served as Ladies' night by Monmouth
Grange. They presented the program
In the form of minstrel show and it
was voted by all present to be a great
success Mrs. 1. w. Pike as interluctor
was inimitable and was ably assisted
by Mrs. c. w. Prescott, Mrs. A. j.
Long, Mrs. Harold P. Smith and Miss
Helen Pike as end women. The jokes
were well selected and full of local
hits and were doubly appreciated. The
double quartet consisted Of Mrs. H. S.
Deane. Mrs. c. L. Banghart, Mrs. H.
e. Merrill. Mrs. Lila Flanders, Mrs.
Roy Anderson, Mrs. James Jenness.
Mrs. D. NJ Benner and Mrs. H. r.
Blake. In the chorus work were Mr. $
Carrie Slower, Mrs. Annie Whitehouse
Mrs. Harold Peaslee, Mrs. Herbert Dix
on. Miss Ruth Banghart, Miss Muriel
shannon and Miss Margaret MELON.
AID also appeared. The program was
IN charge OF F. A. Blaisdell, Mrs. H r
Merrill, Mrs. James Jenness, Mrs. An
ME Whitehouse and Mrs. Carrie
Deane. After the entertainment re-
iresnments We're served in the dining
room below. in charge of Mrs. Ruth
rottle, Mrs. Ada Andrews and Mrs
Ada Andrews and Mrs. George Stet-
son. The next meeting. Nov. 30, will
De observed as Gentlemen's night
Mrs. Roy and Mrs. Keene of Neyad.
who have been passing the summer with
their sister, Mrs. D. NJ Benner, started
Tuesday on their return trip. They will
visit friends in Newark, n. j.. on their
way.
Capt. and Mrs. A. c. Sherman were in
Augusta on Monday.
Mrs. John H. Trites and little daughter
of Norridgewock are guests of her moth
er. Mrs. Jessie Jeffery. at North Mon
mouth.
F. o. Flanders and Walter Warren
have gone on a hunting trip.
The Try W Club met with Mrs Her.
bert Dixon Saturday afternoon. A good
time was enjoyed and refreshments were
served.
Miss Helen Pettingill has returned after
several weeks absence.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
Name Gossip
Grandma's Punkin Pies.

Hail to the time of richest prime,
The full round harvest days.
The ripened fields their bounty yields
In all the gladstone ways
But none will meet with heartiest greet,
And none doth more adorn,
Than golden glow the pumpkins show
Amid the rows Of corn.
Ripe and ROUND. sweet and sound,
The rarest harvest prize,
Lips will smack, and thoughts turn back
To grandmas punkin pies.
Big apples red. hung overhead
Have places all their own,
The wond'rous till of bed and drill
The soil has always grown.
But greatest charm in gift of farm,
To country bred and born,
The golden glow of pumpkins show
Amid the stacks of corn.
The creamy rind that brings to mind
OF scenes that dim the eyes,
The festal joys of girls and boys
In Grandma's 'punkin'' pies.
Geo. A. Cleveland, in Bangor CONNER.
cial.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
In the Same Boat.

II ask YOU to pay me this bill" sale
tailor to a waggish debtor.
DO you owe anybody anything? ~
asked the wag.
mo, sir" replied the tailor.
"Then you can afford to wait" And
he walked off.
A day or two afterwafd the latter
called again. Our wag was not at his
wits end, so turning to his creditor
he said:
Are you in debt to anybody"
Eyes, sir. l am sorry to say l am"
well, why don't you pay?"
81 haven't got the money" replied
the tailor, with a woebegone counte.
nance.
That's just my case, my dear sir
am glad to perceive that you can ap-
preciate my position. l always re.
spect your judgment, sir. Give me
your hand, sir. "-Pittsburgh Chroni-
Telegraph.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
COM|Ne Events

Nov. 2.-Portland Civic Club business
meeting.
Nov. 2S.-Annual election of alderman
for three-year term, Gardiner.
Nov Ex-Governor and Council meeting
at P. M. Augusta
| Nov administering Day.
Dec. 1:-Elks' ball. City hall, Portland.
school.
| Dec. 4.-Annual city election, Portland.
Dec. supreme Chancellor John j.
Brown officially visits Pythians of East
Dec. 4-Maine Press Association annual
banquet, Falmouth Hotel. Portland.
Dec; 4-s-Annual meeting of Maine
SEED Improvement Association and Maine
Livestock Breeders Association. Au.
gusta.
Dec 5-superior court. civil term, Port
land.
Brown visits Pythians of Western Maine
at Portland.
Dec. 5-Governor and Council meeting
at P. NJ, Augusta.
| holds show and exhibition. Portland,
| Dec. 6-Act providing State and county
aid for highway bridge construction e.
Dec. 6-Observance of 5Oth ann,vers,rv
Of Military Order, Loyal Legion, at Port
| land.
Dec. 6-supreme Chancellor John J.
Brown visits Pythians Of Central Maine
Dec. 7-Public Utilities Commission
| hearing on Portland Water District fire
sprinkler schedule of rates. Portland.
| Dec. 11-Annual city election, West
brook.
Dec. 1eMaine Law Court, Augusta.
Dec. 12-UniteG States District Court
Portland.
Dec. 12-15-Maine State Poultry Associa.
ton. Portland Exposition Building
Dec. H-Maine Automobile Association
annual meeting, Falmouth Hotel. Port
land.
SPORTS.
Dec. 1-Open deer season ends in An
droscoggin, Cumberland. kennebec, Knox.
Lincoln, Sagadahoc, Waldo and York
Counties.
Dec. 15-Open deer season ends in
Aroestook, Franklin, Hancock, Oxford,
Penobscot. Piscataquis. Somerset and
Washington counties.
Jan. Is, 1916-Bailum & Barney's ~"
Circus, Augusta City hall.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
Reeds Clear Vision

The recent election and some of the
childish slurs against the vote in the
equal suffrage states, recalls the keen
ANALYSIS of one of Americas keenest
minds, the late Thomas b. Reed:
THE equal rights of women have
but just reached the region of pos
sibilities. Men have only just left off
sneering and have but just begun to
consider. Every step Of progress from
the harem and the veil to free society
and property holding has been steadily
fought by the vanity, selfishness and
Incidence, not only of mankind but OF
womanhood also
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25

Fred Emery of Auburn has been on a
big deer hunt in the northern woods for
the past week 1t has not been exactly
II triumphal march. Several fine deer
were seen and each time he shot his rife
missed fire Then he made an examna-
ton of the weapon and found that it con-
tanned no cartridge. He next arranged a
new and deadly kind and again he fired
at what he considered a dead shot
Strange to say the animal did not fall
Then another careful examination was
made with the result that the rifle was
loaded with blank cartridge. Fred
freely tells of his mishaps and disappoint.
ments to his friends but only exacts that
the story docs not get into the papers,
Lewiston Journal
We are keeping this out of the paper
as a means of heaping Goals of fire
on Fred's head, because he sometimes
talks about lis behind our back on the
car.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
Undoinq Of a Thief.

Scottish farmer was selling wool one
day to a carrier and after weighing it
he went into the house to make out an
! invoice. When he came back he
missed a cheese that had been stand
ing on shelf Behind the outer door.
CHANGING at the bag of WOOL he OBJ
served that it had suddenly increased
in size.
Man" he said to the carrier. II haze
clean forgot the weight O that bag.
Let's pit it on the scales once mair"
The carrier could not well refuse.
The bag was, of course, found to be
heavier by the weight of the cheese in
side. A new invoice was made out
4 and the crestfallen carrier went away
The farmers wife at once missed the
cheese and rushing to the yard told
her husband that some thief had stol-
en- it.
ma. ma, Meg" replied the farmer
quietly. Il haze just self the cheese fol-
two shillin's the pund."-London Tit
Bits
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
WAYNE

F. G. Lamson is home from New
York over the holidays.
l.. NJ. Norris and Arthur WEIGH have
gone up country hunting.
Mrs. Kate Robinson, who has beer
the guest of Mrs. NJ. G. Besse and other
relatives of Fayette, has returned to her
home at Chicago.
Nina Bradford was the guest of
friends at Augusta over Sunday.
Mrs. Eva Swift of Lawrence, Mass.
is visiting her niece, Mrs. N. X. Lin
coin.
A. E. Savage has moved his family
to Sabbattus, where he has emplov-
ment.
Chester Bisbee. c. N Libby and Mr.
Soule each shot deer near their homes
last week.
"A. j. Haines will preach at the Ran.
tst church next Sunday.
Rev. D. B. Holt will sneak bere A.
'he Methodist church Friday evening.
The Friday Club will meet With M.
w. A. Burgess Friday. 3 P. M. subtect
Colonial Life"
Inc Ladies Aid met with Mrs An
me nesse Tuesday afternoon.
MIS-. Ada Lutcliff is at Lewiston ,o-
= visit, "is'on lor
ssupstion Of Gibraltar
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
LITCHF1ELD

Mr.. and Mrs. Alfred Weston of Gar
diner passed Sunday with Mrs. Yves
tons parents, Mr.. and Mrs. F. D. Gill
man
Miss Mildred Trott Of Waterville
passed Sunday with her parents, Mr..
and Mrs. A. s. Trott.
/ I. s. Maxwell is boarding at A. S.
Trott's for few weeks
DR.. and Mrs. r.. w. Goss passed
Tuesday in Lewiston.
Roger Gilman, who has been in Sas-
katchewan. Canada, for the past three
months. returned home SATURDAY night
Leland Gilman of Waterville passed
Sunday at his home here.
Miss Maria Plimpton slipped and fell
Tuesday afternoon cutting her face
badly.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1916-11-25
Light and Airy
The PJavwriqht.

(Morrie Ryskind in the Theater Magazine)
l like to write the happy plays,
The arrow-coliar chappie plays,
The ripping, tipping. snappy plays
That people say delight 'em.
Although there be no sense in EN-,
No thought of why or whence in 'em,
Gee whiz! there ''is' some pence in EN-
Or else I would not write em
So down with all the dreary stuff.
The bleary stuff, the weary stuff,
And-ho.--for Ford and Erie stuff
That's what the public's after.
I'm sick of plays erroneous
That warn us and "Oh. no.'-ny us,
I'll score the ceremonious
And make em shake with laughter!