The Washington herald., 1916-01-21
Children.
BY JOHN Z. BARRY


The societies that exist in large numbers
throughout the country for the purpose of protect
ing children>from cruelty do an immense amount
OF good. They save many little lives. They also
rescue many children from horrors that are worse
than DEATH contamination of character and the
contracting of disease. But there are many chill
drcn that are not reached by such societies. They
include the children of parents/who would be in
dignant if society to try to interfere in
their affairs. These parents may be found not
only among the respectable poor, but among the
wen-to-do as WELL even among the rich.
The other day as was walking along the street
saw handsomely dressed woman leading a
child by the hand. Presently the child began to
whimpcr. The woman wrcnchcd his arm and
made him cry. Then she gave his arm another
wrench and dragged him along, in spite of vigorous
protests. He began to jump up and down, howl
ing. She stopped for few moments and shook
him. He walked along silently, looking at her
with mute protest, the tears running down his face.
In her manner there plainly expressed the
sense that she had won moral victory. She was
pleased with herself rather proud
That little scene is typical Of what often takes
place between parents and children. 1t is un-
common, however, to it on the street For, in
public, most parents are careful They hate to be
greeably conspicuous. But in the privacy of the
home life, where parents, if they choose, can be
tyrants, the most shocking scenes go on In the
first place, as rule, the children are seemingly,
at any rate, at fault. The misbehavior makes the
parent express i'll feeling. Soon the i'll feeling
expresses itself in the child and, on both sides,
mounts and mounts until the situation reaches a
climax. The child is subdued. The parent has a
sense of conquest The trouble lies, of course in
the attitude of the parent toward the first fault,
which may not really be a fault at alIs but may
result from physical causes from child nature
There is consideration that parents often
forget in dealing with children, the influence of
their own example. When children arc ugly it is
often because their parents have taught them the
lesson of ugliness There is nothing in the world
that works more effectively than bad example.
Some children born into an atmosphere Of
ugliness. Very quickly they adapt themselves.
The most natural defense for them to make
against it is retaliation in kind.
Then there is the influence of inheritance Par
ents often wonder where their children get the
dispositions that cause them so much misery.
Sometimes the dispositions have been fostered by
the mistaken discipline of the parents themselves
Wherever parent thinks that the source of the
inheritance is plain it is nearly always attributed
to the other parent. "He is Just like his father"
or "He takes after his mother" is the kind of re-
mark one often hears from their lips. One can
easily see the effect of this kind Of talk on the
children. Where there is lack of harmony be-
tween parents there is sure to be disorder and
happiness among the children. 1t is the children
that are likely to be among the worst sufferers in
the domestic miseries that lead to our frequent
divorces.
In my acquaintance there are several fathers
who engaged in artistic work and rather pride
themselves on their temperament Frequently
they attribute to temperament what most Of us
would call temper. Two of them have children
OF course these chile dren have their fathers
under the influence of temperament. So they have
developed temperaments of their own 1t is ap-
palling to see those children under temperamental
control The exhibition, if given within the hear
perament to the scene. The consequence is like
throwing kerosene the fire. Sometimes those
fathers speak with sorrow of their children's tenn
perament which they call by the familiar shorter
word, but they don't suspect what they have done
to encourage it.
An acquaintance of mine, the father of two boys,
mas rigorous ideas IN regard to the bringing up
of children. He wants them to be, above all things
brave, to be stocs If they fail or meet any kind
OF pain he encourages them to deny themselves
any expression of suffering or resentment. So far
he has had good deal of success. l have seen
those children struggle with the desire to cry To
me the sight has been a little unpleasant. But
notice that the father seems to be gratifed and
proud He forgets one circumstance, however,
the importance of his own example. He is him
self no stole Frequently, in the presence of those
children, he gives expression to resentment and
anger He does not realize that he is doing just
what he forbids his children to do Perhans the
children do not themselves realize as yet. But it
will not be long before they and before they
judge that father.
So often parents set standards for children that
they do not maintain or try to accept for
themselves They speak with indignation of the
failures OF those unframed ones, though they them
selves repeatedly make failures l sometimes won
der if the high moral tone that parents take does
not, in the end, tend to have very damaging in
tluence among large number of children.
There is one quality that, in dealing with chill
dren many parents never think about sympathy
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