Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1916-09-30
FRIENDS


brighter. They do not talk OF Jonn'
sons hearse, they never mention co.,
fms. and when you think you're grow
ing worse they bring you fancy SCOT
fms.
And when at last you gain your
pins the doctors say, "Preclsely! our
modern method always wins! You're
coming on quite nicely!' But were
it not for friends who came and Kid
ded you so gaily, you would have
given up the game and cried tor
tombstones daily.
A bunch of friends will kill more
germs than any antiseptic, good Will
bring the govt to terms and cure
grim dyspeptic. .srp.
PITY POOR ADAM!
It must have been a boresome time
For Eve and her old man,
Back there in Eden's sunny cline,
Before the fuss began.
With not thing on earth to do
But sit and spoon all day,
How tired it must have made these
To pass the time away.
There wasn't any place to 60
Where be could meet a friend.
She hadn't any clothes to show,
Nor any dough to spend.
Just put yourself in Adams place,
Without a blooming cent.
With winter coming an apace,
And not a house for rent!
Be not too hasty to condemn
This poor. primeval pair;
You are inclined to envy them
Because you weren't there.
A young man, an only son, married
against his parents wishes. After.
ward, in telling friend how to break
the news to them, he said:
start off by telling them that !
am dead, and then gently work up to
the climax"
Wise is the instructor who learns
more than he teaches. All &
END OF FRIENDSHIP L
she-How did they ever come to
marry? & y Is
He-Oh, it's the same old story.
Started out to be good friends, you
know, and later on changed their
minus: -. 80. s-- z
"Now, this typewriter is equipped
with all the summer attachments"
Summer attachments" Z
"A small mirror, a miniature clock
and thermometer. everything girl
has to consult frequently"
THIRSTY. .2Ga1 \
At the junction of Schooner Head
and Otter Creek roads the driver
turned neither to the right nor turn.
ed to the left. but ran straight into
the drinking trough.-The Bar Har'
Dor (Me.) Record.
THE REASON
How long did your last cook stay
with you?
"Oh. about Ave hours
How did that happen"
"The afternoon train back to town
has been discontinued"
JUSTICE
While Deputy Sheriff wilkins was
putting up big sign down at the
Four Corners warning people with
automobiles to 60 slow through the
town, he met with a funny accident
by falling off the sign in front ofsan
automobile and getting both legs
kbroke andshis 1hunldeeFbsdlyserush
ed. ~ The. automobile ran over him
before it could stop.-The Fredonia
Nv. Va.) Chronicle. 4s=.sss.. sg.,~sso'..s
You remember that chap Jones.
who made a bet of $4,000 that he
would walk from San Francisco to
New York without cent in his pocH.
let?"
"Yes. Did he win the bet?'
MOT quite. He got ..ss-far-as here.
was arrested as vagrant and forced
against his will to ride three blocks
in patrol wagon. That disqualified
him."
Some writer's have q wealth Of
thought, and all have a thought Of
wealth.
MAN WANTS LITTLE
WANTED-To sell my property, or
man and wife to live with me. or a
pretty girl to marry me. DR.. Gal.
loway.-The Henderson (Ky.) News.
EFFICIENCY
Bridget. why have you put the
fy.paper out on the grass?"
They amt no more flies to ketch
in the house. mum.
In Concord, n. H., they tell Of an
old chap who made his wife keep a
cash account. Each week he would
90 over it growing and grumblink.
On one such occasion he delivered
himself Of the following:
Look here, Sarah. mustard plasters,
SO cents: three teeth extracted, 81.
There's $3.50 in one week spent for
your own private pleasure. Do you
think l am made of money!
Any old bachelor with plenty Of
money can obtain a situation as q
husband
THE NATIONAL GUARD - RIGHT
THERE
The Jerome volunteer fire depart.