davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
1.w War Secretary in Harness

Newton D. Baker, who succeeded Lindley M. Garrison as Secretary oi War a few weeks ago, is making all excellent impression in President Wilson's official family, and in the matter of practical experience III war department administration he is nav ing more of it than usually falls to a civilian in time of peace.
 The mobilization of several thou sand troops on the Mexican border and the movement of the expedition ary force into Mexico, afforded the head of the department, who had hao no contact with military affairs, an exceptional opportunity for seeing and understanding the inside activities of this important branch of the gov ernment in response to hurry call.
 Secretary Baker will soon be occu- nied with some of the details of re- organizing the army under pending measures. and that of itself will call into play his executive capacity, al though expert army advisers will have the greater part of the responsibilities in working out battalion and regl- mental schemes and the proper dis triution of field units. Then again the Liberalization of the National Guard and the adjustment of the or ganization to new conditions will re- ouire a great deal of the Secretary's attention, and, all in all, MT. Baker will be buster than almost any other member of the cabinet.
 His success as Secretary of War will depend largely on his tempera- mental fitness. He starts off well. His predecessor was man of con- structive ability, but the aggressive attitude of that gentleman toward the military committees of Congress and even toward the President himself made him temperamentally unfit. MT. Baker is too good politician to at tempt to run Congress. He is attend ing strictly to his routine duties and in vouchsafing advice on matters of state when his views are sought. He is a strong man and one secret of his strength is in knowing when not to ;rterfere with the established order.
 The late Dan Lamont, noted for his tact and political acunlen, vas one of the best secretaries of war the coun- try ever had, and it should be no sur prise if MT. Baker turns out to be like unto him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
SHAKESPEARE AND COHAN.

From "The Toint of View,' in the April
 Scribner.
 Colcne: Roosevelt wrote an essay: Dante and the Bowery," and he insisted on "the simplicity with which Dante illus trated one of the principles on which he lays most stress, by the example of a man who was of consequence only in the his- tory of the parochial politics of Florence" :" This otherwise forgotten man was Fa- rinata, "a second-rate faction leader in a eaction-riaden Italian city of the thir- teepth century whose deeds have not the slightest Importance aside from what Dante's mention gives" And later the American historian noted that Dante had coupled the name of Attila with "the names of a couple of local highwaymen who had made travel unsafe in particular neighborhoods' s'-these two knights of the road being less important than Jesse James and Billy the Kid; doubtless they were far less formidable fighting men, and their adventures were less striking and varied"
 Like Dants, Shakespeare dared to be his own conternl rary, although as he was dramatic poet and not an epic poet, he did not cite specific persons of his own times, ne cited only specific things. fla miliar to nld st of his hearers then, even if unfamiliar to most of his readers now. Take the character of Pistol, for ex- ample, in the group of plays in which Fall staff is the chief figure To us nowadays, Pistol is not an attractive personality, eigher on the stage or in the study. To the E,lizabethans he was probably very attractive, with his snatches of quotation and his scraps of parody from the popu- lar plays of the hour, with his grossly eX- aggerated ,bombast, with his humorous" catchwords. He is the Elizabethan equiv alent of one of George M. Cohan's most up-to-date parts, pert in manner, viva civus ill speech, expert in repartee, and gar anded with slang Perhaps it would be discordant note in our tercentenary con- cer.c to suggest that Shakespeare was not only the Sophocles of his day and the Moliere, he was also the George M. Co., han and there is abundant support for this irreve1ent suggestion in the Com euy of Errors'' with the sidewalk con- versations" of the two Dromios and in the Tanning of a Shrew'' with it's slap Stick' fun-mal<ing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
BIRMINGHAM'S REFORMER
from the Selma Times.


 Mir. Arlie Barber, city commissioner, is mingham just now. He seems to have
 gotten in. bad' in various directions. His latest stunt is denouncng the news papers, charging that they are corrupt and subservient to the corporations. Mr. Barber was elected as a reformer. By his picturesque antics he has already caused a great many people to echo the sentiment of the Tammany politician, "To hell with reform!"
 MT. Barber is no doubt sincere and dis interested but has narrowed his outlook until he has lost the sense of proportion. At the same time he has largely for feited his opportunities to render genuine service to his community. Like many of his type he has developed the deadly dis ease, known as moral egotism." Against this kind of egotism few reformers are immune; only those of complete sanity of body and mind, only those whom nature has happily protected by double propor- ton of that universal aseptic-"a sense of humor.' MT. Barber grievously lacks "a-sense of humor.''
 The truth is again brought out that it is not the amateur enthusiast who | achieves lasting results in the public service. but the professional politician of the higher type whose idealism is prac- | tical, but none the less real. He is an opportunst, who takes the most he can 1 get, is not easily discouraged and is buoyed up by the ever present conscious | ness that politics is one long second best.' He finds solid comfort in the con viction that in the long run all reforms l i'm fol,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
Venice Again Bombarded

It may be said without exaggera- ton that the civilized world shudders when bombs are dropped on Venice by Teuton airmen. Fortunately no great damage has been done so far, all though number of raids have been made on this historic city The last attack, day or two ago, was equally barren of result.
 The Venetians, fearful lest their priceless structures be destroyed, have taken what steps they could to pro- tect them and vigilant watch iss kept for hostile planes, but the war is not over yet by great deal, and the bom- bardment of the cathedral of Rheims and the irreparable damage done by German shells may be forgotten in contemplating a battered Venice.
 Although this fate will not befall Venice if the Italians can prevent it, the frequency of air raids shows that such disaster might occur any day. What a pity, if men must fight, they cannot wage their battles in the worlds waste places so that the prod uct of genius, wrought through the ages, might not be exposed to the bomb of an airman or the shell of a Krupp gun. Men who die on the bat tlefield are soon replaced, but works of art, once destroyed, are lost for ever.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City star.
 Beneath the sweat and the paint
 ,rd the wide pantaloons of the cir
 GUS clown is just normal human
 being. But the persons Wno crowo
 upon the board seats surrounding
 the rings, shrieking with Laughter
 at his tunbles and falls, seldom
 sion to think of that Slivers, our
 old friend Slivers, the clown, who
 killed himself recently, felt the
 loneliness which his career as pul-
 foon seemed to force on him. This
 interview. which was printed in the
 New York Evening Post, took
 place years ago before Sllvers ielt
 ''the big top" for vaudeville IT ENTERED his dressing room ana
 found the clown busily engaged z over wash basin removing the comic face of Slivers and uncoVeiih. inc serious face of Frank oakley. put the lower half of him was still SllVers wide spreading, starched trousers anu huge, overlapping feet In this cohoi- tion. half clown and half plain American citizen, he sat down and talkeu oil clown as human beings
 "Its funny" slivers said, gazing +boughtfully at his circus feet its funny how people can't understand tha' we clown are fellow human animals with just about the same outfit or reel ings that the rest of 'em have. sup nose it's because people have come to think that he's built to stand the same kind of a hand out all along the me
 "Do you see that?" Slivers asked pointing to a long white scar Just pe- low his right eyebrow
 Now you'd never guess how plckeo that LID. It's a little souvenir of my last appearance in Chicago. was Just entering the ring when young nope full. out with his dad for an after- noons amusement, shied an old can al me. The ragged edges of the tin caught me. As I mopped the blood out Of my eve I was comforted by this conversa- ton:
 say, pa, did you see me hit that clown?"
 "Yes, son.
 "Tt was a corking shot. wasn't it, pa. "It was, son.
 "I couldn't miss my cue to get puss in the ring Otherwise that youns bonefurs trousers would have needed patching.
 Just to show you how kind hearted neople are toward clowns, I'll tell you 8 little conversation I had couple oi years ago in a little town. After the lnerformance I went across the street with a friend to get drink. Somebody nassed the word, There's one of then circus clowns Immediately every rubt shifted his glass along the bar to where was talking with my friend.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
THE, OFFICIAL TOWN PEST

ought completely to be abolished just as
 soon as their enemies can get round to
 that detail of the programme, I for one
 would be the last to say him nay. Alter all, life is very short on this planet.
 The champion pest of all the pests was one of those walking afflictions who can hold you helpless for half an hour on a stretch without putting finger on you. He was the most successful bore with his bare hands that ever saw. He might have done better with a kit of boring tools hut I doubt it. The man had nat ural gifts.
 When I was backed into far corner of the last ditch, the forlorn hope of a lost cause, fighting for breath, he cruelty
 impaled me on the lance tips of his steely, relentless glance, and, while l Wrigg'ed
 in feeble agony, demanded of me, as one intrepid Anglo-Saxon to another, whether I agreed with him that the Anglo-Saxon was waging a magnificent struggle for the liberties and civilization of the world And if not, why not? Hearing him one
 got a mental picture of a small. deter mined Anglo-Saxon licking, single handed practically all the rest of creation. I might have told him that after a
 cursory view of the situation, was rather of the opinion that, in his struggle against the embattled foeman, the Anglo-Saxon from time to time, was receiving some slight assistance from Frenchmen ana
 Italians and Russians and Poles and Bel- gians and Japanese and Hindus and Sikhs and Ghurkas and Turcos and Canadians and Servians and Australians and New
 Zealanders and Montenegrins and Alger- ians and Boers and South Africans and Americans-yes, quite few Americans- and Calts and Slays and Walloons and va- rious other allied branches of the Anglo Saxon breed. But I didn't.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
Disuualifies Young voters

Lots of young voters in Jefferson coun- ty will be affected by the decision Of the state supreme court to the effect that all registrations after January Which were made under special legislation, are illegal, and that those registered after that date cannot legally vote in the com ing primaries" said Ed Patillo, candi- date for coroner
 "I know hundreds of young men throughout the county in beats where had been assured practically every vote who will not be permitted to vote un- der tkis decision of the court. However, my strength in these beats is not les sened among those who are eligible to vote and I will be returned a winner.
 By the way, how many laws is it now that have been declared unconstitutional by the supreme court after the recent legislature worked so hard over them I do not recall a single law that has held under test, except those on prohibition"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
Would Start Real Estate Boom

Let. Birmingham vote two million dollar bond issue for public school buildings and a healthy real estate boom would result. Not that the ex- penditure of two million dollars would of itself cause sudden enhancement of values and lead to active building operations in all parts of the city, but it would mark the beginning of a great forward movement, which, in turn, would have far-reaching effects.
 Work on million dollar federal building will be begun this summer. And there is a prospect of having a magnificent city hall, library and auditorium combined diagonally op- posite the government site. With all this large construction under way during the current year every ex- cavation contractor, every concrete mixer, every steel riveter, every bricklayer and every carpenter in Birmingham would soon be working full hours.
 Now is the time for the city con- mission, the Chamber of Commerce and the public-spirited citizens in general to cooperate, put their shoulders to the wheel and start Bir- mingham on great new stride.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30

larger part of East Nashville was not although the fire loss amounted to millions.
 Both Nashville and Augusta have shown themselves mdaunted by the disasters which recently visited them. Augusta citizens are devoting most ot their attention just now to relief work but in both cities there is evident a determination to rebuild and restore, sustained by renewed hope and lm- bued with greater energy than ever before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
Join Forces

What is the use of all this scrap ping and political turmoil about the selection of four delegates from the state at large to represent Alabama Tn the next national democratic conven- tion at St. Louis?
 There are eight good men running for the four delegates places. Some of them are for prohibition and some are for local option. All are for the renomination of President Wilson and all for democratic success. All ot them declare that they are opposed to bringing the prohibition question into the platform.
 Now, why shouldn't these eight men be sensible and all eight go to the convention with half vote each?
 In the last national convention Ala bama had eight delegates at large with half vote each. It proved very satisfactory.
 Why shouldn't they get together this time?
 The eight candidates are B. M. AL len, Frank S. White, A. H. Carmichael, Ray Rushton, Judge N. B. Denson, J.. J. Willett, R. E. Spragins and Horace Hood.
 They are all good, safe men and it would save each one of them lots of time and annoyance by agreeing to join forces. It would, indeed, be the sensible thing to do.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
Pleased With Organ

Judge H. B. Abernethy is not well known as a musical critic, but he claims to be able to enjoy good music when he hears it and he is unstintcd in his words of commendation for the Strand theatre organ.
 You know" said Judge Abernethy yesterday, the pleasure or sitting down and looking at picture is very much enhanced by the strains of ap- propriate music. Now at the Strand theatre there is a young man who can do things with an organ and the stronger he does the0 fhet better like it. I am not musician or any thing like that, but I've heard some where about the masters touch-and in my opinion that young man mas lt. I now regulate my trips to the strand so as to come when the young organ ist is playing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
sos------------------ BIRMINGHAM SPEEDWAY

Fro mthe Mobile Item.
 Auto drivers will be able to turn their eyes toward Birmingham and also head their machines in that direction in the near future when seeking a speedway on which to test machines with other enthus- lasts in that class of sport A contract has been let by the Birmingham Motor Speedway company to Cincinnati firm for construction of a two and one-half- mile speedway, 100 feet wide, of reinforced concrete and steel, the track to be 40 feet wide and 30 feet of turf on either side, the surface of the track to be bitulithic. grand stand to seat 50,000 persons is also called for.s besides repair kits and other accessories. A half million dollars is the contract price for the speedway. It will be located around the lake of the Bir- mngham Motor and Country club. an ideal spot for auto racing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
Good Co-operation

q want to thank you" said c. M Mauldin, district farm demonstration agent for northern Alabama, for the hearty cooperation The Weekly Age Herald is giving the government dem onstration work in this state, partlc- ularly in my territory. l am constant 1y with the county agents ana they' too, appreciate the fact that the pa per is a means of extending their work among farmers to an extent that would be impossible without such me dium'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
A Noise Like Money

When MT. Heinz, the pickle king, was being shown the sights in and around Birmingham, he was driven out 70 Acipco to see the cast iron pipe plant. Lying fast asleep on plank 1n the sunshine was a small negro. MT. Heinz remarked: T would give hundred dollars to be able to sleep on plank like that and the negro suddenly raised up with "Sah?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
PATHOS OF BEING A CLOWN

.5owdy.' one old chin whisker piped up.
 Fine I said, shifting farther along the bar
 "Everybody shifted with me.
 "Dandy cut-up you had,' old chin whiskers continued.
 .Thanks,' I said.
 "eEver break a leg?'
 "Nope.'
 "swhat! Never hurt yourself:'
 "Nope.'
 "Best thing I ever see.' old chin whisker continued cheerfully, was clown that fell down and all the horses just stepped all over him. Land saAes. how l did laugh
 "'That must have been funny--to look at
 .In the street parades a few years ago I used to ride in a small pony car| Say. you ought to see the lemons that have been handed out to me. Oh, here comes the clown the rubes along the sidewalk would say. Then some play, !, full guy would reach out and poke me with an umbrella. and another "ouiu follow it up with good substantiai swat over the back. There's no such thing, you know, as being fresh with a clown, and it makes the little ones laugh.
 "What did do? Why, stand for It, of course. What good is a clown if he doesn't make the people laugh"
 
 BALLAD OF WAR KINGS bFrank L. Stanton. in the Atlanta Con
 stitution
 I. The war-king called his counsellors
 ITO calm his ghOstly fears; Ward off the weeping women They dim the light with tears! I may not stay the bitter strife, Nor bring the. sleeping dead to life!- Their hands would rend my robes away! Hcw many died today?" Then said the grave-browed counsellors: No weeping women wait No ghosts stare through wild windows, Or throng your palace gate, Vain, if they came to claim their sons That fall before the flame -wreathed guns, And for the rest, we may not say How many died today!" III. But called the king in light and night; Their grief my glory mars; Ward off the women. weeping For the slain, meath battle stars! From crimsoned field and stormy street They lay dead children at my feet! An I as God, to whom they pray: .4. H.w many died today?" ". Aud thrilled that question through dark years Of slow and sable wings, With visions of world in tears | Haunting the sleepless kings. fh0fV stayed; They stumble mid the graves they made While voices, fraught with judgment. say;
 How many died today?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
APT TO EXAGGERATE.

APT TO EXAGGERATE. Don't you wish your name would go down in history"
 "Oh, I don't know" replied the thought ful man. "I fear the historians would either make me absurdly good or impos- sibly bad. They don't seem able to strike happy medium
 A TEST OF PATRIOTISM. And you call yourself patriot" 'I do''
 Can you prove that?' "Yes I never smile when the United States army is mentioned"
 DIFFERENCE OF OPINION. "Pa, mother says you are 'one of the boys"
 "Er-yes, son. She means I'm still youthful"
 That's funny, pa." "Why?"
 "Grandma says it's because you are full of the old Adam
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30
HOTEL LOBBIES
Rev. John w. Inzer in Fire

In a letter received in Birmingham, Rev. John w. Inzer, pastor of the Avondale Baptist church, who is talk ing a much needed vacation at the home of his parents in Trenton, Tex, says that he and his mother were in Paris the night of the big fire and that he has never before witnessed such a calamity. Forgetting his weak physical condition, MT. Inzers fought fire for eight hours.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30

BEGINNING THE DAY-Loro' the dark hours, help me not to oe discouraged about my discourase meut. Help me not to worry over my worry. May | trust Thee eeeo with my distrust. May lie aoMn and wait for the streams 10 Ho" hack from God, bringing me co" age and quiet and trust A"' H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-30

About this time of year the bear family of their winter Information with appetites sharpened by long abstention from food
 Brown, grizzly, polar, glacier and black bears are found in Alaska. Altogether scientists credit the country with IS va rieties of bears, which include eight sub species of the varieties already mentioned Black bears are comparatively harmless. In fact it is seldom that they ever show any disposition to make trouble, but a member of any one of the other families is dangerous. Although legally protected, the brown bear is a ferocious brute, and from sheer viciousness kills and mutilates his human victims. He does not eat hu- man flesh, however It is said that num- bers of people have been killed and maimed in Alaska by the brown bear, which is classed as a game animal. The harmless black bears, being classed among the fur-bearing animals, can be slaughtered with impunity. During the autumn of 1914, 40 out of 42 sheep in flock belonging to the government agri- cultural experiment station at Kodiak were killed by brown bears. The other two members of the flock escaped with their lives, although badly mangled. It is said that cattle raising on Kodiak Island may be abandoned because of the destruc : tiveness of these bears.