Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1916-11-21
THE REAL YELLOW PERIL
Col. III %. Tair Analyses the Election
Result and Sees the Hand of
the Heather Chinee.
(Written by Col. H. o. Tair.) J

ne JOYS Ol victory were snort llV6Q
and the awakening one fearful night
mare, the effects of which still stun
me-" said Col. H. o. Tair to the re-
porter of this paper seeking to inter
view that great statesman on the re-
suits of the recent election.
"On Tuesday night l retired feeling
certain that my efforts in behalf of
my beloved country had been success
full. Pleasure pulsated through my
whole system. The awakening next
day was rude and 1 refused to credit
it until every hope had been dashed to
the ground.
''Since then 1 have been endeavor-
ing to analyZe the situation and have
made the startling discovery that we
are the victims of vast conspiracy,
Matched in an unexpected quarter, that
in fact we are the victims of the yell
low Peril, not as forecast by Hobson,
but more in accord with the character
of the willy Heather Chinee as de-
picted by Bret Harte," said the colonel
as he gazed impressively at the re-
porter.
"Yes, sir, the Chinese are response
Bile for the election of Wilson. You
doubt it? ] stand ready to prove it..
1t is as plain as that two and two
make six. Under our constitution
every child born in the United States,
no matter what his parentage, is a
legal citizen. About four thousand
Chinese have thus qualified for the
right of suffrage, and every one of
them voted for Wilson. As wilson's
plurality in California was only lit
tie over three thousand, you see clear
ly that he was elected by the Chinks.
am confirmed in this belief by the
accounts of the great celebrations
held in Toxic"
But" suggested the reporter in a
deferential manner to this eminent
statesman and astute political econo-
mist who has the foresight to string
together all co-relating facts that go
to making worlds history, no matter
how widely separated they may be,
Toxic is not in China, but in Japan" ;"
"Ah!" snorted the colonel, whose
bright mind cannot be obscured by
things of unimportance and whose
long experience has ripened his mind
and made it keener to find hidden
niggers in a wood pile than that of
the best known diplomat, sis what mis-
leads the person of ordinary intelli-
gence, and is respOnsible-for the re-
ordinations that are being so worldly
sown in California at this moment.
Don't you see that the Japs are in
control of the Chinks and that the
Japs engineered this? Further l can
not say at this time without divulging
knowledge which should not come to
the rabble."
81 would like to correct a state
ment 1 made publicly in the dining
room of the Bells house on the night
of the election" remarked the colonel,
whose patriotism ever scars so highly
that he feels no constraint or en-
barrassment in correcting a mis-
leading assertion, "at late hour and
when we were filled with the news
Of victory and hop juice, in which
condition a man does not always
weigh his words as carefully as he
might. At that time, so 7 am in
formed, 1 stated that vox populi est
yox Del, which being translated for
the benefit of the illiterate signifies
that the voice of the people is the
voice of God. Sometimes it is, not
always. Not in this instance. Rather
was it the voice of the Jap. At that
time l added that while the God-given
right of self government is a slow,
painful, laborious and expensive pro-
cess we had saved the country and
put the reins of government in safe
hands"
"I now wish to modify this state
ment," said the great statesman with
suspicion of moisture in his eyes.
The painful and expensive parts stand,
especially the former, for what do we
care for the latter. That vox populi
stuff should be used only upon rare
occasions. 1t is a phrase loaded at
both ends. Some old guy in the past
invented the terms to tickle the pro-
letariat and when democracy was be-
ing experimental with on a small
scale As a matter of fact a real de-
mocracy is a failure.
I'm a democracy the chief task of
patriotism is to guard the people from
the consequences of their mistakes"
"All men are not equal. The man
who coined this phrase had a loose
wheel in his dome. What do you sup
pose would become of this country
/ if il was bereft of such minds as
mine, if great and patriotic leaders
like myself failed to come to the front,
if we allowed the rabble to do its own
thinking, if We patriots and states
men, the leaders of a great party,
failed to proceed in lofty spirit and
failed to perform cur high and re-
sponsible d.ties?
"As soon as l have regained my
composure. as soon as the deep an
guish which now feel for my country