Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-28
AS HE WANTED TO WRITE III.

Fellow Bull Moosers-You have
stood by me nobly and | don't know
how | can ever thank you for the I'M
swerving support you gave me in my
last attempt to break through the lines
of the old guard of the republican
party. For the past few weeks l have
been suffering with fractured rib.
When anyone tells you that the steam
roller was put out of commission after
the memorable convention of 1912
don't believe him. 1t got me in the
early part of the present month. |
haven't felt myself since. The same
old dark lantern brigade was in con-
troll of the convention. There were
delegates in the hall pledged to me,
but they were in such a miserable
minority that they stood in awe of being
waylaid if they attempted a stampede
in my behalf Every time one of their
number opened his mouth to say a
kind word for me he lodged an mag
mary blow from the enemy. The coli
scum was mined from one end to the
other and the destroyers would re-
spond only to the touch of a Roosevelt
ian. Therefore you can appreciate
that my delegates moved about with
pardonable precaution. l had hoped
to receive an invitation to address the
old guard convention, but they refused
to take any chance on me getting in
front of the delegates. They realized
| still possessed the punch and that
| might throw such a scare into the
boys that they would nominate me by
reclamation. My secretary, Johnny
McGraw-who is not the manager of
the New York Giants-declared in
dispatch he sent me from the coliseum
that the enemy actually had log fall
set for me at the main entrance: that
1t was so arranged that l would have
oeen accidentally beaned as | ad-
Vanced from the street. | was so en-
ragged at the discourteous treatment
accorded me by the republican conven-
ton that | locked myself in for several
days to prevent me from attacking nv
best friends. Nothing would have
pleased the old guard better than to
nave known that | was made mad nv
the conventions rebuff of me, but I'm
gong to fool EN- and get in the band
wagon. l am sorry that | can't accent
your nomination. 1t grieves me much
to be forced to walk from the house
OF my friends into the camp of the
enemy, but that's the only wav I
ma l can get the rascals. One
thlns is sure, the old grizzlies who
nave their hands on the controller
cant live forever. | have decided TO
support the alfalfa duo, not because 7
love either one of them, but wholly
lot selfish reasons. Whiskers. the
mead Of the ticket, has promised to ap-
point me secretary of war in the event
OF his election-and he'll not 20 across
unless you boys line up with me. I'll
dynamite his administration, and four
years OF him will be enough for the
country. Then your humble servant
VIII again ride into the nomination.
with me the presidential candidate
we VIII capture the party, bury the
elephant and resurrect the moose as
our standard bearer. 1t strikes me
It's too long a Journey for the pro-
gresslve party to assimilate the renuh-
mean party. Let's get on the inside
and blow the old ship to atoms To
my notion that's the surest and ouick-
est plan. With me as president we
wouldn't let member of the old guard
or his friends land in Washington So
let's go after the gravy.
TEE ARE.