davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
PHONE MELODY DECIDES BET

From the New York Tribune.
 Ernest Hussar, director of the Hun garian orchestra at the McAlpin roof garden, was called from his platform to the telephone last night.
 T say," he heard. you've got to decide a wager. Ira, la, tra lala. tra- my friend bets $10o that's from Faust. I say it isn't Ira, la, tra, lala'-
 Really" broke in the musician, T can't waste my time
 Just a minute. Ira la, pom pom, tra lala. Get me?"
 The musician had become interested. Sounds something like Lorsque done des Folles Amours. But that goes: Lala tra, tra la lala"-
 That's it, exactly" came the voice from the other end of the wire. T win the $100. Thanks so much"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
SMART SET NATURE F'AKER.

footing with various others of their sometime ago an Austrian grand q who had wearied of the vanities o1 world gathered about him a small of fellow fools and fakers and wei the woods to live in primitive fashioli long as the publicity which was inv by the effort continued to stimulat,' adventurers the primitive life proved citing. But eventually the reporters the party n1arooned in the waste D without the ghost of an opportunit. get their pictures or reports of their fife into the Paris and Vienna pc. and the nature colony disintegrated
 Nobody wants really to go bac nature and stay back. Civilization, all of it's faults, is a comfortable proI ement on savagery. The De prominent in society who feel the W of their obligations and sigh, in prin with pictures, for the wilderness about as sincere as stephen Leacl friend, who insisted that no liquid I could be as refreshing as the watt the brook from which he drank { lying full length upon the soil ol fathers farm-a man who lived a club, never vertured beyond the as and who declined to adopt the sugg,l that lie get as near to nature as DO by lying on his stomach on the fIcIl the grillroona and drinking cham from a saucer.
 The moving picture cameras make Miss Hammis' entrance intds woods a beautiful adventure, but photographed. unpress-agented. un of and forgotten to everyone who an interest in the audacity of the she Would-bLt why speculate upo, eventualities. The Smart Set natui kcrs never last longer than the pull they secure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

From the Louisville Courier Journal.
 Forty women have asked to join Joe Knowles, the American Robinson Cru soc, who will soon start again for the wilderness with no food, no tools and no such foolishness as clothes. He be- lieves men should get back to the primi- tive; but he hadn't counted on the other sex.
 However, he has encountered a group of women who are anxious to prove that they also possess the caveman spirit.
 Miss Emily Hammis, prominent in Brooklyn's young society set, is particu- larly determined to join Knowles in his back-to-nature expedition and it looks as if Knowles will have plenty of com pany.
 Miss Hammis will attempt to establish an Adamless Eden in the Adirondacks She will live the primitive life to prove women as well as men can live in the woods by their own devices with what nature offers.
 Knowles, the nature man. will in struct the young woman in nature craft, then leave her to her own resources, and retire to his own Eveless Eden.
 Neither Knowles nor Miss Hammis will have weapon or single piece of clothing when they enter the woods. Miss Katherine Bawer of Brooklyn N. f., will chaperon the arty."-(News of the day.) las A NHE chaperon should be left at home. A chaperon is not contemplated
 by nature She is an emergency brake rather than an accelerator, in the view of nature. And nature sees no need of brakes.
 Leaving out the chaperon the Journey back to nature would be better started. The nature fakers then would be on a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
.LrrrLE oRPHANT ANNIEs
Ladies' Home Journal

From the Ladies' Home JournaI.
 Many will be surprised to learn that there ever was a real "Orphant Annie. "Orphant Annie is now Mrs. Wesley Gray. Although not great many miles from the poets birthplace, Greenfield. Ind, Mrs. Gray's farm is situated in the real. old-fashioned back country. It was . raw, bleak day when little "Orphant Annie" was brought to the Riley home, She eams from primitive
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
THE RIGHT WAY
From the New York World.

A negro hanged at Mobile for attack ing a white woman had been kept in the state capitol for weeks to prevent lynching" He has now paid the pen atty for his crime as fully as if mob had executed him, and he has paid it under conditions wholly creditable to Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
THE TOWN FARMER IN ACTION

From the Salina (Kan.) Journal.
 A Salina man whose wife raised a fine garden this year was instructed to pick a mess of peas that evening, the first of the season, reports the Journal. The husbandman, who has always boasted of his farm life. proceeded to the garden and began on the peas. Presently his wife went out to assist him. She was mortified to find that the man had pulled up the vines and car ried them to a soft grassy place and passed the vines over his lap that he might gather the peas the easier.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
HOTEL LOBBIES
No Danger to Outsider.

The typhoid scare is doing more damage to Birmingham from commer clal standpoint than anyone might thlnk, said Joe Slaughter of Joe & Lee Slaughter yesterday, "and there is no grounds for it; however, the out of-town folk do not know this. We have had several letters from out-of- town customers stating that they were prevented from coming to Birmingham Tor fear of catching typhoid fever.
 "Of course, there is nothing to fear from visit to Birmingham, but think there should be more publicity given this fact, that there is no such danger, and that statement should be made by some one in the city health depart ment advising the people in regard to this. We have had three letters of this kind and I am sure other firms are receiving them also"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
M HANDICAP

From the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
 A new York carpenter is suing for s2o,0oo for the loss of his voice. The chances are he is a single man; if he were married. he wouldn't have any particular use for his voice. And he can still make signs for the water boy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
From Age-Herald Files

Monday, July IS, 1S9S-The First Ala bama regiment will go to the front in short time, according to dispatch from Miami to The Age-Herald.
 
 Electric cars will begin running between Gate City and Birmingham via Woodlawn tomorrow morning on a regular schedule.
 Tuesday, July 19, 1S9S-Admiral Dewey sends shot across the bow of the Ger man cruiser Irene when the GermaA commander refuses to halt at the Amer jeans command
 Col. William Jennings Bryan's regiment has at last, started for the front, accord. ing to special dispatch to The Age Herald from Omaha, Neb.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
A WASTED LESSON

My friend" said the reformer to youth who was smoking a cigarette, you realize that you are counting dest tion?"
 "Whaddy yer mean?"
 Why, that cigarette
 "G'wan. There ain't no gunpoy around here that know of an I'm 1 20 feet from tn nearest gasoline ta
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
HYMN TO DIANA


 Queen and Huntress. chaste and Now the sun is laid to sleep. Seated in thy silver chair State in wonted manner keep;
 Hesperus entreats thy light.
 Goddess excellently bright. Earth, let not thy envious shade Dare itself to interpose; Cynthias shining orb was made Heaven to clear when day did {,
 Bless us then with wished sii
 Goddess excellently bright. Lay thy bow of pearl apart And thy crystal-shining culver: Give. unto the flying hart Space to breathe. how short so-(
 Thou that mak'st day of nj
 Goddess excellently sbrightl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

and swallowed him. When his team was found standing in the road ex- cited citizens joined in the hunt for the missing man. A crime was scented. Local sleuths scratched their | heads in vain.
 Georges employer went to see a e rnival show in town. In the pit of show, wearing tangled hair and protruding fangs and posing as the "wild girl" he recognized the mysteri- ous MT. Jones.
 And thus was another promising theatrical career nipped in the bud. diers travelling to the border in day coaches failed to draw a single tear. Most of those troopers had travelled in day coaches before when they didn't have the price of a Pullman ticket
 The kind of statesman who contends that we ought not to increase the navy until we are face to face with war should consult an oculist. There is something wrong with his vision.
 Captain Parker should calm himself. It's no disgrace to be offered the presi- dential nomination by the prohibition party, although somewhat damaging po- litically.
 The British prefer to emulate the tor toise in their advance. It will be remem- bered that the tortoise gave good &C., count of himself in that memorable race with the hare.
 The dismemberment of Austria Hungary is being predicted, but it is remarkable how some governments continue to stand, W hen apparently without leg to stand on.
 The adjectives humane" and "enlight- ened" are now being applied to the Rus sian government. The world must be getting better, in spite of the war
 On his first day of liberty young Or pet took an automobile ride, a form of recreation he had never before appre- ciated at it's true value.
 A salt water bath in one's tub insures safety from sharks, also protection from the public's gaze-if one has no figure worth mentioning
 A Philadelphia court allowed lawyer sa5 instead instead of the s1O,o0O fee he claimed. Total eclipse of another legal light"
 AlFs we'll at Camp Vandiver and the rockies are now wearing coats of tan that harmonize with their khaki suits. It would be interesting to know what life insurance, If any, is carried by mem bers of the Deutschlands crew.
 Great Britain thinks the Teutonic allies can worry along without the help of the American Red Cross society. recent movie of General Carranza shows the old gentleman smiling happily. still. he probably doesn't feel any bet ter than Secretary Lansing does.
 American sentries along the border shoot first and investigate afterward. That may be the safer way.
 Lour protests are being made about the food served to United States troops along the border Something of the kind has been heard before.
 The Deutschland has already paid for itself. If nabbed by the allies there will be no great financial loss denburg's fame will remain in statu quo. It begins to look as if General von Him
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
SIDE-SPLITTING

The Clumlys spend a small fortune every year entertaining society people,"
 Are their entertainments a success?" there laugh for weeks after the Clumly parties"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
SERIOUS

They may make up again, but I al it."
 Why so?"
 They've just exchanged the femi short and ugly words" And what are they?" Trump and cat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

BEGINNING THE DAH-My Fath- CT, when | consider my poor gifts, I am dismayed. But when | re- member Thy loving kindness I take courage. Thou accepted the giver rather than the gift. Thou lookest upon the heart, and not in the hands, for Thy boon. Thou Judgest she willingness, the desire, the hidden yearning. Thy name Is Father. Amen.-H. M. F.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

From the New York Globe.
 wish l were a pint of cream;
 There's nothing I could dream of Would give me more intense delight
 Than being made ice cream of.
 It is a warble that is seconded by the coolest of us. These are the days when the sweetest temper shrinks and frizzles to nothingness; wien love of ones fellow man suffers sharp and sudden diminu- ton; when the clothing clings and the hair lies damply; when the heated vapor, by courtesy called air. chokes the lungs; when one quaffs and quaffs again of cool ing drinks that do not cool These are, in short, the days of summer. What, indeed, more delightful than to be a pint of cream, or, to quote another stanza from the poet:
 [ wish I were quart of milk;
 I long for nothing greater
 Than standing quiet all day long
 In the refrigerator.
 But to make the best of things don't let the heat get on your nerves; don't fuss; don's stew; don't chase impotently about Don't think about the weather any more than is necessary Don't say to your neighbor, chance met, "Is it hot enough for you?" This remark, rasping on irri- tated nerves, has been known to create new and unexpected heat sometimes re- sulting in the complete prostration Of the man who committed it. Don't be in hurry. No matter if you are late for that engagement, take 1t for granted that the other man is as warm as you are, ana will welcome you more joyfully (one shud- ders. these days, at the thought of a warm welcome) cool and 10 minutes late than on time and mopping floods of per spiration from your livid brow. Or, bet ter still, start on time, allowing yoursei1 plenty of leeway for slow going.
 Don't scorn the shirt with the sport col lar even if you are not particularly proud of your Adams apple. Don't go and sit all day in the blazing sun of the beaches, lured by the breeze into forgetting that you are getting broiled alive. Clothes. the next day, will bring discomfort to your fevered arms and back and shoulders if you do. and we have not yet reached that superlative state of civilization where we can go without them. Don't eat heavy, greasy foods and, above all, don't fume.
 And if you follow all these don'ts, even if you can't, according to the wish Of the poet. transform yourself into some Refrigerator demanding fluid, you'll be able to skim lightly through the days of summer as joyously as salamander.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
Danger to Augusta

q greatly fear that Augusta will soon be in the midst of another horror, this time in the form of flood waters instead of fire,' said Alfred Porter yesterday.
 Newspaper reports tell us that Lake Toxaway is near to breaking loose, and if it does, it means that Augusta will receive the full force of thousands of tons of water. The recent fire in Augusta almost devastated the city. I certainly hope that Lake Toxaway will hold it's waters
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

Geiger Times: Birmingham is making d good fight against the typhoid fever epidemic. If they continue the work they are now doing typhoid will soon be thing of the past.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
BADLY HANDICAPPED

q understand your boy is going away to college next year"
 Yes" replied old Mir Cobbles. We're powerful sorry ter see him go.'
 Tt will be great thing for him."
 "Mebby so. But Johns a mighty poor dancer an he aint no good as an ath- lete. Furthermore, he knows so much about Greek an Latin I'm afeared them college boys will poster tn life out O him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

1t is wars prize to take all vantaSes' And ten to one is no impeach of valor
 Henry VI.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
GOOD SINGING

GOOD SINGING This quartet is splendid. Yes" answered the low-browed son, It's great. thought once or the bass was going to be a few sec late with that comedy stuff. but he right on time"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

sprinkling of republicans in the Seventh district and a lot of good men and citi- zens among them, but they have never yet carried the district or elected cons gressman, and will not likely do it this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

DerS unless an organized campaign K waged for the school amendment. Superintendent of Education w. F Feagin is planning vigorous canvas: and he should have the earnest sup port, not only of every member of the Alabama Educational association, but of every citizen who has the good ot the state at heart.
 Alabama makes a bad showing in the statistics of illiteracy in the United States. In fact, it is now at the bottom of the list. And it is all because of the limit placed by the con- stitution of 1901 on the right of the people to tax themselves for school lbetterments.
 Superintendent Feagin issues in formative Literature" from time to time and his departments recent bulle- tin, entitled "Alabama's Public School System a Comparative Study" is particularly helpful for those people taking an active interest in the move ment seeking to remove illiteracy.
 A bare majority for the amendment will suffice, so far as writing it into the constitution goes, but the moral cf- feet upon the public will be greatly strengthened if an overwhelming vote is boiled for this vital measure.
 After the amendment becomes law, another campaign of education will be needed to induce the people in pack ward counties to avail themselves of their opportunities. But there will be time enough for that. The matter of immediate concern is the ratification of the amendment.
 TT is understood that the repub- ! hcan campaign committee has reached the conclusion that it would be waste of time for Mir. Hughes to make speeches in any of the "solid south" states. Two weeks ago it was announced from headquarters that
 tentative plans for Will Not Visit the standard-bear- Solid South er's campaign itin-
 erary included the northern fringe of the south" and possibly North Carolina and Tennes- see, but Manager Wilcox finds the demands in doubtful states are too pressing to allow for an excursion into any state whose democracy is assured.
 Socially MT. Hughes would be re- ceived with characteristic southern were he to come this way. The south would be delighted to see him, but politically he could not pos sibly add to his electoral strength, no matter how engaging his personality on the stump.
 The republican committee will have it's hands full in looking after New York and the states of the middle west, to say nothing of the far west. Thousands of progressives will vote for Wilson rather than Hughes. A reunited republican party is far from realization. Many of the men who followed Colonel Roosevelt and trusted him feel that they were be- trayed at Chicago, and nothing could induce them to support Hughes. And if the colonel wishes to avoid en- barrassing interrogatives he will cancel his promise to MT. Hughes to be one of his campaign orators.
 After the democratic and the repub- lican candidates start on their re- spective tours the contest will De ex- citing enough, but there will be little occasion for any presidential oratory in the south.
 THE value of the macadam high ! way in the south has never been so strongly impressed on farming communities as now, when excessive rains make the unimproved road prac- l:.zu.x ;~.-,ao,LI, Do,JhoIc of Iho
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
ALABAMA PRESS

Montgomery Advertiser Birmingham is still having trouble with debts, politic- ians and typhoid fever.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
SURPRISING ACCURACY

The quaint, old-fashioned statesma r Would often make a hit, When chewing his tobacco.
 Just by the way he'd spit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
Charming Ladies By the Sea

Numerous charming ladies and pretty girls have flocked to the coast this sea- son." remarked Leopold Speigler, who re- gently returned from Wrightsville beach.
 'In fact, it seems that the Georgia peach is in full bloom at the resort cities, and numerous belles from Alabama are also basking in the smiles of Old Sol along the sands of the sea. Many of my Birmingham friends who make it a cus- tom to go to the shore at this season of the year, however. were missing. This, I believe, was in large measure because of the heavy drafts made by the National Guard on the young men of the city. Many of these soldier boys are sorely missed at home, and hope they will soon be able to return after dis posing of any troublesome factors which may arise at the border.
 But getting back to the beach. Let me say one or two goods words for Georgia and for her capital. Though have heard much about Atlanta and about the people of surrounding territory which did not reflect distinction upon the common wealth, I must laud the Atlanta girls whom l chanced to meet strolling on the beach, for in both personal charm and beauty the Georgia lass ranks well with those of Birmingham"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
ITS THE HEAT

Twere we'll we faced the ills of life
 With undiminished hope, And not, mid fell disasters rife,
 Think of the knife, the rope, The pistol, gas and other ways
 Of ending ones career. Cheer up. These sultry summer days Will shortly disappear.
 COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE So you've been making trip through prohibition territory?'
 Yes"
 How did you find conditions there?" Not difficult" answered the traveller, absent mindedly. After learning the signs I contrived to get almost anything I wanted in the way of refreshments"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
SOUTHERN AND CONGENIAL" l.. IT. in the Chicago Tribune.

B. L. T. in the Chicago Tribune.
 MT. L. E. Williams has returned from Mulberry, where she has been visiting her husband. She was per- fectly satisfied with her trip.-Jack. sonville Metropolis
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

'She is now with her husband on q wedding trip"-Birmingham News.
 How southern! And how conEenial!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
Importance of Vata

The cattle dipping vat is the great est thing ever introduced into the cat- tie raising industry" said Henry Ersen- berger, prominent farmer and stock raiser of Beat 22. T cannot see why some persons will be so foolish as to oppose and destroy things of such vital importance to the cattle industry. The fact that it is a thing of great inn portance is being demonstrated every day by those who are dipping their cattle.
 Personally am for it strong. There is all the difference in the world in my cattle since I began dipping them. They have fattened and they have a glossy coat of hair that they never showed be- fore. They have not been materially damaged in any way that I can see, but on the other hand they have gained me from S5 to s20 on the head since being free from ticks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

Mobile Register: The United States in- spector, in charge of cattle tick eradica- tion in Alabama, reports very gratify- ing progress in cattle dipping: 625, ,920 head of cattle in all, comprehending IS counties. If the remaining counties have cattle in anything like the showing made by the IS, Alabama already is a consid- erable live stock state.
 Collinsville Courier; The republicans raised campaign fund of $1,000,000 to fight Wilson, and Hugh Roberts of The Ase-Herald called it "slush fund" The democratic party Is engaged in raising fund of $1,7000o0 to fight Hughes, and Roberts calls that a Campaign fund.-
 Gadsden Journal: The Age Herald S Washington correspondent recently had an interview with an Alabama woman, in which it was intimated that woman suffrage in Alabama is dead. The suffra- gettes, however, point to it as a very live corpse.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19
Good Training

From the letters I receive I should think Camp Vandiver at Montgomery is not such a bad place to spend a vaca- tion," said A. N. McCray, whose son IS member of Battery c. My boy writes me that the work the men have to do is not very hard; that they have much leisure, and that the work of training, drilling, gun practice. is very interesting.
 Ut looks now very much as though the Alabama National Guard will not see service on the border, although there is yet talk of the field artillery being sent to the Rio Grande.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

TELEPHONE Bell (privnte exchange connecting all departments) Main 49OO-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-19

LOOK WHO'S HERE The donkey and the elephant. The camel and the moose The "B. & B." nenagerie
 Has surely broken loose.