The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-04-06

be fooled in several other ways as
time passes.
Some wise old duck defines a news.
paper man as the chap who makes 90
much reputation and money for 9TH
ers that there is nothing left for
himself.
An Emmett mother believes if the
element Of grave danger were elimi-
mated she would let her little son join
the chase after Villa. He seems to
catch everything.
"Do you know where the little boys
90 who don't put their Sunday school
money in the plate?" asked the teach
err. ''Yes'm-to the movies" replied
an observing pupil
Thomas A. Edison now states that
he can produce submarines in 10 days
by standardizing the parts and turn
ing them out like hot cakes. Mr.. Ed
ison, you will recall, is the man who
was going to house the American
workingman in a poured concrete
house costing $4.98.
Tommy, aged 3, had fallen and hurt
his knee, and as he sat rubbing the
injured part he suddenly looked up
and said: Mamma, did God make
me ?" ayes, dear" was the reply
"Weu, then" continued the youthful
philosopher, "if he has any pieces
left, wish he'd mend my knee"
Novocain, new local anesthetic IN
troduced in dental surgery, will posi-
lively do all that is expected OF an
anesthetic by a dental patient, 1t IS
said. Unless it makes one deaf to the
whir Of the drill, it is of no more use
to us than quinine, which, so far as
we know, is not an anesthetic at all.
The worried countenance Of the
bridegroom disturbed the best man.
,riptoeing up the aisle, he whispered
whats the matter, Jock? Haze we
lost the ring?" mo" blurted OUT
the unhappy Jock, "the rings safe
emo. But, mon, I've lost ma enthuSl-
asm."
A negro sergeant, an old campaign
err in the Twenty-fourth infantry, now
IN Mexico. sizes up that country about
right. He says: 81 have been in
nearly every land. But in this part
of Mexico there are more rivers and
less water; more cows and less milk
and further to look and less to see
than any country | have ever known
The two sons of minister were in
the loft of a barn. The father went
out and heard the following: whats
trumps?" Spades" "It's your deal"
The minister got club and started
up the ladder just as the younger son
said: "Wha's trumps?" The older
boy replied, 81 guess clubs are and 1t
looks like pa is going to deal"
We are looking for this dialogue to
occur at the postoffice window most
any day, now that Postmaster Riggs
has his bearings: "Don't you care
for any postcards today" asked the
postmaster as he passed out stamp. |
NO" said the stamp buyer. How
about few stamped envelopes " No
not today" Like to open a postal
savings account ?" mo, nothing but
the stamp" Better let me give you
a money order" But the man had
fed. An onlooker wanted an eX-
PLANTATION. That" said the clerk,
SIS my barber For years he has
tried to sell me haircuts, messages,
shampoos, hair tonics and what not
every time have gone into his shop
70 be shaved. Now Pm getting even.'
4 4 Z
While Old Bill Misgivens was
watching the militia boys practice
rifle shooting the other day, he re-
marked: "An old friend of mine, Ike
Hittitt. was a remarkable marksman.
Yes, sir, can recall very distinctly |
how his wife would get him to help |
her make macaroni. She would roll
out lot of cylinders of dough about |
the size of lead pensil and Ike
would stand off about 80 feet and
bore a hole right through those cylin-
ders, one after another, with his trus-
ty %. He used to shoot through the
holes of his wife's colander in rota-
ton as practice. And he was just as
handy with a shotgun. He got his