davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1916-03-16
HUMOR IN ADS.
Unconscious "Bulls' Made by Adver-
tisers in English Papers.

The following examples of more or
less authentic classified ADVERTISE
ments, says Printers Ink, are taken
from the Christmas number of the
Advertisers Weekly (London):
The late Hugh Stowel Brown, of
Liverpool, a man of extraordinary
girth and appetite, tells us in his
autobiography that going to Wigan
to preach he found the following
mural advertisement, due to the
keenness of bill-sticking rivalry:
Hugh Stowle Brown, of Liver
pool, the largest cheese in the world
eight feet in girth and weighing 800
pounds, will be exhibited at the
Goose and Gridiron. Admission 1
penny"
A chiropodist announces that he
has removed corns from the crown
ed heads of Europe.
An employer of labor concludes his
advertisement for assistants with the
significant nota bene:
"None need apply who are in the
habit of being poorly on Monday
mornings
1.-TWO sisters want washing,' ran
an advertisement for several weeks
until some one wrote and asked why
in the name of decency they didn'
get washed at once.
An advertiser says he has A cot,
tage to let containing eight rooms
and an acre of land.
And a business woman in the
country, who evidently knows more
about managing a hotel than she
knows about the English language
announces:
s'This hotel will be kept by the
widow of the former landlord, Mr.
Brown, who died last summer on
new and improved plan"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1916-03-16
MET WITH UNEXPECTED END.
All Nine Lives of Feline Snuffed Out
at Once.

at OnCe.
Thomas X. Cat, household pet
emeritus of a family in one O. the
better residential districts. is no
more. The nine lives Of Mr.. Cat de-
parted from his earthly clay at 1898
O'Clock Friday morning, death being
due to an overdose of chloroform ad-
ministered with malice aforethought.
Thomas K. Cat was bachelor, of
great size and beauty, he was fav-
orite among the members of the or-
posite sex and spent many pleasant
hour courting various fair felines on
the back fences of the neighborhood.
With no one to whom he must an
swer. Mr.. Cat stayed out as late as
his fancy directed, some nights not
even putting in an appearance at the
house where he was chief pet.
One night about two weeks ago.
while calling on lady friend, Mr.
Cat was surprised by another gay
Lothario of the cat tribe, whose fancy
perchance, had rested on the same
feline divinity to whom Mr.. Cat was
paying homage. In such case
among felines of the male persuasion,
there is only one thing to do.
Mr.. Cav cid. So did the other gay
Lothario. m the combat which en-
sued, unmarked by blare of bugle o.
rafting of drum history does not
record what happened to Lotharlo
Mr.. Cat, however, came home, sans
one eye, and suffering from an ap-
parently severe physical breakdown
superintended by the claws and
teeth of his redoubtable adversary
Warm food and kind treatment aid
ed greatly in restoring his physical
prowess. But the eye that had guild
ed him through many a dark alley
was darkened forever.
Notwithstanding his Affections and
weakened physical condition Mr.. Cat
continued his pursuit of the fair fel-
ines of the neighborhood, until the
fortunes of war left him looking like
the German Uhlans who stormed the
forts at Liege. He was wreck, ano
his nine candles of life were flicker
ing low
A family council was finally called
Mr.. Cats fate was put to the test
and the verdict was thumbs down.
Various methods of execution were
discussed, among them an axe and
gun, but chloroform finally secured
a majority of the vote present, ano
it was decreed that Mr.. Cat should
perish in this manner.
A bottle of chloroform, tin buck
ct, and an older brother formed
combination against which even nine
lives could not prevail The chloro'
form was placed on some absorbent
cotton, the cotton placed beneath
the bucket, and Mr.. Cat was started
on his last long journey, also be-
meath the bucket. A few minutes
sufficed and at 1928, eight minutes
after he had been placed beneath the
bucket Thomas K. Cat was officially
adjudged to have kicked the bucket
and his nine cat souls had wended
their weary way to the cats happy
hunting grounds. Interment was
private. Piedmont.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1916-03-16

nasium contained 800 beds. When
Sherman entered Columbia the yel-
low hospital flag flying over the COL
lege buildings saved them; they al
so held federal wounded.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1916-03-16
Letter to
DIR. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, n. Y.
Prove What Swamp-Root Will Ipo For

Prove What SWanp.ROOt VIII TO FOf
You
Send ten cents to DR.. Kilmer &
Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for sample
size bottle. It will convince anyone.
You will also receive a booklet of
valuable information, telling about
the kidneys and bladder. When writ
ing, be sure and mention the Bam-
berg Weekly Herald. Regular fifty
cent and one-dollar size bottles for
sale at all drug stores.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1916-03-16
Postmaster at Allendale.

Washington, March 2.-J. E. Scar
son was today recommended by Rep
resentative Byrnes as postmaster at
Allendale, to succeed his father, who
died recently.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-03-05

\ guest ut The HOTEL BELLE
CLAIRE toll ne The follow ing story
Ny Nl'r and | entertained SOM
friends here 'tt other night and ! want
10 tell YOU 2bout II.
Thee friends have entertain.d Il,
AZ >eIr-al ot th- big hotels d%oWntoNn.
The! t~>illll entertain IN p-rtt! lavish
sly Il end irt accustomed 10 dine u
Somewhere almost every night during
The season, 81 they are fairly good Judges
OF both food ana service.
They had never eaten a meal here
ht'or.. They told me they never TN.
10Y Cd = dinner more. | did not ask for
,fr iH'OYfNatlon-they volunteered 4.
They SAID the service Wa> splendid and
the cooking excellent.
'O' ours | kntu that knew they
would haze a real treat. They had It and
saii ~. Your 'ood and cooking are 80
uniformly cood that YOU are hound 70
st' restaurant trade. People gen
cr'll> Mil irnu uut tina. YOU >er,v fine
r1"tl> a0i 'hc! NH cuIVr 'e,r ~ Groves
i'..- Whllc.'
PrCplr mus, md out. >oonr- " ll't',
'ht' ~, .c-\e good meals httatISc We ~
advertising N, 'lt'
Nor. people KNOW IS TON .rnr ,Nc-
ii. The iuu,r 0nlr HrlnG> ~ MANY
ncN 'a,r> every m.Ht. r." r'gu Drnc
PooN and 10 Pals RroN3 are worn
II Me, cNct\ Nl.N'.
T. lnrk> ruW - though W. ash have
- coN\crt 'Nc NJ billiard ruolH MO '".
other iI5ng noon -un'hruu Travels So
't>' -, n,N> 'hou' good rAtrg. f."
oar ',Nv'j'rN certainty ru|S I>.
ROBERT d. BLACkMAN.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
HOW DID YOU DO 1T?

Yesterday you complained of
shifts and snuffles. Yen said you
knew had good cold coming on
and felt al choked UP. This morning
you show no signs of cold; those
gr:ppy pains you complained q seem
to have disappeared how did you
do 1t
ITS simple case of doing the
right thing at The right time =
caught my cold before It got GOOD
start-checked It promptly Just be
fore going TO bed last nish ut | took a
Laxacold tablet-it seldom fails to
bring prompt relief. always depend
on Laxacold I'll take a Laxacold
tablet day for the mex three days
and | will not have cold =
you've used LaXaeold before.
have you?''
Haven't been without them for
years. Ny druggist tells me Laxa-
cold works wonders. He says it is
excellent forthe treatment of coughs,
colds and Lagrippe ought to
know .
Where do you get Laxacold ,"
''At any Nyal Drug Store .
They are chocolate coated tablets
nice to take. \ box Of Laxacold,
containing thirty-fiye tablets cost
you a quarter. It's easily worth the
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
NEAT OPTICAL ROOM.

G. v. keanan has Just recently
arranged neat optical room. and
added the latest Improvements to
his Optical business. Clarence Beel-
ey will have charge of the optical
business, and he is now prepared to
fit any kind Of deseoted eyes.
Mr. Beeley has recently returned
from Kansas City, where he gradu-
ated as an oeulist with the highest
honors. L Your eyes are giving you
trouble give Mr. BeeIey chance. he
guarantees satisfaction. (advt.l
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
NOTICE.
A Call For Progressive County
Convention.

In accordance with a call from the
Progressive State Central Committee
mass convention is hereby called
to meet at the Court House in the
City OF Fayetteville, on Friday,
March 3lst at 10 O'Clock a. m. for
the purpose OF selecting delegates
u the State Convention to be held
in the City CT Little Rock. on April
10Th. 1916, aud such other business
that may come before the said coun-
Y convention.
\ good attendance is desired
Washington county is entitled to four
delegates TO the State Convention
which will elect delegates 10 the
National Convention to be held in
Chicago on June It'll. The Chicago
convention promises to be exciting
and history making therefore We
want to send a full delegation OF
strong men 70 TIE State convention.
G ". Pool.
Chairman County Committee
l.. B. Fitzgerald.
Secretary County Committee.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

LADIES' stop and see
the electric sewing ma
chine and electric vacuum
cleaner demonstration in
show window at Spring
dale Hardware & Furni-
ture Co.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
BERRY GROWERS ATTENTION.

We have few E quart berry car
riers 70 sell to the growers. As
long as they last at 8 cents each.
See W. A. Claypeol for orders.
Wilson Card well, Sec.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

LaGrippe. .
Insurance against Coughs. Colds and
LaGrippe. ;"
I'll get a box CT Laxacold en- my
way home tonight 60 TO the J.
r. Joyce Drug Co, Nyal Quality Drue
Store
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

EGGS Black Minorca ard Buff
Orpington Also a few cockerels.
4tpd n. 3. Horn, Springdale,
Ark. Route
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

A few fine Barred Rock pullets,
Ringlet strain, 81 90 each.
Weir Hatchery, Fayetteville, Ark.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

FOR SERVICE-You will find a
good, registered, full blooded, jer-
say male, at Carrel & Lindley's Lfy-
cry Barn. Service 5 90.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

FOR SALE-Cherry Du-
roc Hogs. Thoroughbred
stock. Phone No. $40, 3r.
1t. Foster Williams
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

grow strawberry plants for sale.
New bed Price, Klondykes, 81 90,
Aromas, 81 70 per thousand.
Jeff Banks.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Don't miss the big musical treat
at the Auditorium Monday night. Oy-
ar 100 voices.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Don't fal to hear the High School
Girls Glea Club at the Musical
Concert at the Auditorium Monday
night
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

FOR sALFs-One Good six room
hoI5e, $1,000 or less. Inquire at this
office e
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Want 10 Guy a good horse. W. B.
Bro9don
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

FOR SALE Good year Old mare.
Harry Johnston.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

TO TRADE 4-room house to trade
FOR auto. Inquire at the News office.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Money to Loan. See J. R. Harris,
First National Bank building, Fay
atteyille, Ark.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
NOTICE TO MY PATRONS.

Having to attend the Dental Con.
vention at Kansas City, will be out
of my office from Mareh12oth te
9TH.
It " J Grutcher. Dentist.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
TRADE

Atoka, Latimer and Has
kell County, Oklahoma
lands to trade at $40 acre
for improved farm around
Springdale.
Match most any deal.
Fredricks Realty Co.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Musical treat Monday night-Audi-
orium
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Secretary Of War Baker ought at
least 20 see that the department cake
is not all dough
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

council meeting thursday nASiiLt q
last wee. The vote on b7ah stand
ing 70 ,.
Through the courtesy Of the Shap-
leigh Hardware Co, OF St. Louis. the
manual training department at the
High School is in possession Of
new plane Such courtesies as these
are highly appreciated by al patrons
Of the school, and especially by the
students Of the training department.
The garage again changes hands.
The new owners are Stirman Edison
and w P. Bells. the old owners,
Andrew BalIew and Nolan Webster
selling out fore part OF last week.
The new proprietors are we'll known
in Springdale. Mr.. Edison is now OPP
Grating taxi here, and Mr.. Bel
lis came here recently from Missouri.
The debate between Earle w.
Hodges and Dr.. G. H. Brough, rival
candidates for governor, was he'd At
Little Rock. Monday night A=larse
crowd was ii attendance, and both
candidates were the recipients OF
much cheering. The audience grew
very boisterous before the close Of
the speaking. according 70 al news
paper reports.
Be careful while burning brush and
rubbish these windy days. Many
dtsastr ous fires nave been caused
from the burning Of old leaves.
scraps of paper. dead grass, and
other rubbish from yards and gar
dens. and more especially is the dan
ger during the windy days Of March
A little precaution at this time may
save serious eonflagration, and a
call from the fire insurance adjust
er.
Springdale will oil Emma Avenue.
4 petition asking for funds was cir
- w. -, and snr,a+ Il 10,
49, 900 a-;1, 10 r,isa3 - Ia rho
, ,.za.,. 20 :. ;azandsd - ii, z,c,9na
>=,,e,,.a So, =. s.,.;sso ..i.t+.ae.uay
-. = ;, 5,,5..nz4 so.,tta,so 40
- - $50. ~. s5,r+
- =. afso ..n ,5..s-esd +ss+
Z,,f1,1l,ar eirigty1}- Will =pltrz.q4~ ~
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
r & A. M

r a. NJ
Meets Friday night on or before
full moon in each month. Visiting
Masons cordially invited.
f. S. Thompson, W. NJ.
]. P. Beaver, Sec
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

CARD OF THANKS

desire to express my sincere
thanks to the members OF the l.
o. Q. F. Lodge of Springdale and
to all others VINO so kindly assisted
ne in my sad hour Of bereavement,
in the death Of my husband who had
just come among you. stranger,
yet with willing hands wise council
and brother love, did they minister
unto us.
ReSpect fully,
Mrs. Ella Hollopedter,
Nardin Okla
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

5000 for , ID acres with
improvements and some
fruit; in city limits. See
us for bargains.
Fredricks Realty Co.
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17
Of Local Interest

Going to organize the sunday
School Ease Ball League In Spring
dale tais summer?
The Springdale news. [volume] (Springdale, Ark.) 1887-1990, 1916-03-17

Through the courtesy of the Shap-
leigh Hardware Co, OF St. Louis, the
manual training department at the
High School is in possession Of
new plane. Such courtesies as these
are highly appreciated BY al patrons
Of the school, and especially by the
students Of the training department.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
PIECE WORK SHORTENS LIFE

Washington-The effect of piece work
and the increase of tuberculosis among
metal miners in the Joplin, Mo-, district
is shown in report issued by the
United States Bureau OF Mines.
Shoveers in this district work by the
piece and are paid from to s cents for
each can of ore they shovel. These
cans have nominal capacities of 1000,
1850 or 1850 pounds.
"One can hardly realize the severity of
this work without seeing it, says the re-
port. Hard, constant work has broken
these men down, so that at the ages of
% to 80 they are already on the down
grade. The shovcler is frequently his
own trammer-that is, he pushes his full
can out to the station and the empty
one back again. Except for his hasty
dinner at noon he is necessarily at work
the entire shift. Working thus at their
full earning capacity day in and day
out, it is not surprising that, with the
added exposure to rock dust, these men
should contract tuberculosis to an eXces-
sive degree. Especially must this be true
when they start in under age and before
their bodies have been fully developed.
After a few years of shoveling the
shoveler finds himself beginning to get
short winded and his strength failing.
When he comes to the point where he
feels exhausted at the end of the days
work and feels 'groggy' when he starts
in the morning, he begins to rely on alco-
holiC stimulation to see him through, and
if it has not already done so, alcohol now
begins to lend hand in furthering ply
steal breakdown. The next step in the
process is tuberculosis infection. He
finally becomes unable to work, and as
these men usually work as long as they
possibly can, death follows not long after
cessation of work, most often when the
man should be in the prime of life. Us
ualy fair-sized family is left behind
and is apt to need charitable assistance
Although this sequence OF events has not
occurred in every case of fatal illness
among miners, it is fairly typical of
great many.
Attention is called to the bad housing
of Jasper county miners, the absence OF
an established toilet system and the
practice of drinking water from keg,
which is especially condemned because
of the danger of direct infection.
The report is an Endorsement of or,
ganized labor's position that the lead and
zinc miners of the Joplin district must
thoroughly organize and conduct an edu-
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
HUMAN VALUES GO UP.

Philadelphia.-"An event which is
shocking or dramatic or spectacular, even
though its scene be far distant, i'm
presses the people of this country more
than an orderly but revolutionary econ
omic change at home which vitally af-
fects their own interests" says the North
American of this city, in leading edi-
torial.
Newspaper readers will follow the
details of Balkan battle with closer
attention than they give to the creation
of law which shifts the very founda-
tions of our social system.
"A striking example of this habit of
mind is to be observed in the fact that
only casual interest has been manifested
by the public in the new workmen's
compensation law, which became effec-
tive on January /, Yet that day saw
the elimination of the most far-reaching
social and economic change that has oc-
Cured in this state in our day.
"Hereafter, in Pennsylvania, lives
which are destroyed and health and
earning power which are impaired i'll in
dustry will be paid for by industry, in
the same manner that broken or worn
out machinery has been paid for in the
past. This marks the most important
victory yet won in the commonwealth
for the fundamental doctrine that the
rights of human beings are superior to
the rights of property.
THE new law, establishing the prln-
ciplc that human rights are paramount,
provides that an industry which destroys
a workers earning power and his use to
society shall make good his disability,
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
BY FRED G. FILLBRANDT.

r. the
operating
is
F. TO
is % and it, an
t none it in
are o
Fred Ffmtth g Cii stree na a apmy con
ference his How d M E. r d
b Is
ii tina ab
II il o
now
it
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
A. F. OF L. HOME STONE LAID

Washington-The corner stone OF the
new A. F. of L. office building was laid
last Saturday afternoon with appropri-
ate ceremonies. President Gompers
welded the trowel a large delegation
OF visiting and resident trade unionsts
and government officials were present,
and band. volunteered by the local Mu-
scians' union, furnished music
In referring to the significance OF this
occasion, Secretary OF Labor Wilson
said the erection OF this building marks
a great epoch in the history OF union
lied wage earners in America" He paid
a tribute to the successful work OF the
American Federation OF Labor in max
ing possible better conditions for the
working men and women, and declared
that these betterments were also enjoyed
by the unorganized toilers.
President Gompers made brief ad-
dress in which he referred to the prog
ress OF labor through organization.
This structure OF labor he said, "typi-
fes all that is good and noble, and will
stand an enduring monument which shall
inspire the members OF organized labor
to carry the work through all times
The cornerstone a massive piece OF
granite. was presented to the Federation
by Henry J. Gompers, member OF the
Granite Cutters union and son OF
President Gompers The donor himself
chiseled this inscription on the stone;
American Federation OF Labor;
founded 1881; this edifice erected for
service in the cause OF labor, justice.
f-aador, hu,ra1itV-1 g1 5-16
\ copper box, containing official docu-
ments OF the organization, letters from
President Wilson, Secretary OF Labor
Wilson. and President Gompers photo
graphs of them and also OF the executive
council of the Federation in 1881 and
the present council. together with coins.
newspapers. and other articles, were
placed in the cornerstone.
The copper box was made by P. u.
Hugo. member of the Kansas City:
Mo. Sheet Metal Workers union. and
presented to the Federation by Presi--
dent John ]. Hynes OF the Amalgamated
Sheet Metal Workers International Al
lance.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
FOR A GREATER CINCINNATI-BUY in CINCINNATI


o n With F
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
PICTURE OPERATORS GAIN.

Greensburg, Pa.-Motion picture op
orators have increased wages from So
to So a week and secured better work
ing conditions
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22

cational campaign among their members
If they are to remove the deadly COndi-
tions under which they labor
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
Contrary to the Central Labor Council Which
Demands School Books "Wth the Union Label'

of
Book Co. Not Uod
the
Boad Of lPeokW
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22

teacher that instruments do to the sur
geon. The teacher ought to be allowed
to make her choice.
AS a member of the Board of Edu-
cation | am also a member of the court
of last resort which finally shall pass
upon the company or companies which
shall furnish school books to the chill
dren of Cincinnati. Therefore, it would
not benefit me to express any opinion
in advance OF the information which
we shall receive from experts on the
subject OF school hoods.
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
Would Follow Precedent.

81 should say i'm Il general way
that | should desire to follow the
practices of the Board of Education
i'm the past. These practices have
been to make purchases of Cincin-
natl products, other things being
equal. If there is Il case of reason
able doubt the home industry should
be given the benefit of it,"
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
Choice BY Teachers.

The Hospital Commission and the
Purchasing Department always ask the
opinion of the experts as to who shall
furnish the instruments with which the
surgeons operate.
"Metaphoricaly speaking, the school
books bear the same relation to the
The labor advocate. [volume] (Cincinnati, Ohio) 1912-1937, 1916-01-22
WithrOw In Favor of American
Book Co.

President ]. NJ. Withrow, NJ. d., Of
the Board Of Education in an interview
says:
"The plan being followed by the
Board of Education is the same that is
being pursued by the Cincinnati Hos
pital, where the surgeons are called upon
to select the instruments with which
they do their surgical work.