Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-12-10

! go to the White House
And find the door barred
For Wilson still lives there
And his heart is So hard.
With exit of Murphy the dialogue
! between the national chairman con-
tnued.
Willcox-By the way, did William
J. Bryan participate in this cam
paign?
Certainly He sup
ported the president Loyalty.
Willcox-Perhaps But he must
have had laryneitis. His voice didn't
carry as far as usual.
cCormick-Speaking Of weak
voices, the state of Maine had some
impedimont in its speech on Novem-
Der Z. From 1900 in September to
1000 is some drop.
Willcox-But Colonel Roosevelt did
not suffer from vocal trouble. His
voice was heard throughout the land
McCormick--So ! noticed from the
returns. He helped us in the win
ming of the west.
Teddy Leaves Address.
Here the voice of Roosevelt inter
Iupted the colloquy, saying | am now
devotng my attention to my duties as
a grandfather But my health is
bully In 1920 the country viii know
where to find me. My address IS still
at oyster Bay
Wilcox What about New Jersey?
McCormick- Hush, hush, we will
talk of other things.
Wiilcox-Wel, how about Indiana?
McCormick-W saved Tom Mar
shall out Of that wreck.
Willcox-That's so. He was run
ming, wasn't he. / wonder what went
wrong in Kansas?
Mccormick can tell you. Two
dollar wheat ten dollar hogs, Ford
machines and player pianos
WillcoX-Do you think he kept you
out of war?
Mccormick dunno. But some
body got us out of debt.
The national chairmen continued to
comment referring to the suffragists'
Henry Ford and the lonesome De
mon Rum" who had just been thrown
out of several more states. The De
mon Rum" sang a pathetic song de-
pictng the hopeless future for De.
mon Rum and his rummy crew
when the follies closed with the fol-
lowing:
McC,rmick-It funny, isn't it?
Wflcox-Whats funny? If any
things funny tell it to me. l need
a laugh.
McCormick-IC funny how the
world keeps going around, no matter
what happens,
Willcox-Yes. but it will move very
slowly for the next four years
T. Il. and Bryan.
Next came a vaudeville sketch, the
scene theatrical booking office, with
Roosevelt and Bryan, as the Crisis
Cross twins" Senator Lewis, Colonel
George Harvey and the other national
figures applying for engagements
Roosevelt and Bryan were first tried
cut.
T. R.-The Victoria Cross I'd greatly
prize;
The Iron Cross | do despise,
But if ! can't the hero be,
some medals Of my own you
will see
They'll get the double cross
from ME.
Bryan-They got the cross of gold
from me;
The Nobel Prize I've hoped to
see,
Now. humbly, bearing my
cross / come
To say "You shall not cruel
fly the bum
Upon the cursed cross OF
RUM"
r. R.-Say, Willie, what is the dill
( ference between what YOU intend to
do TO the democratic party and what
+ have done to the republican party
/ Bryan-Well Teddy what Is the
/ difference?
/ n. R.-You intend to make the
democratic party dry and ! have made
! the republican party SWEAT.
/ When T. r. and Bryan had been
ordered out of the booking Office,
/ Senator Lewis of Illinois, whip OF
/ the senate, appeared and rocited q
/ long series of verses, of which the fol-
j lowing are typical:
Who guides unruly senate DUCKS,
And keeps the party on its trucks
/ VINO is. in short, the whip de luxe?
Jim Ham.
/ Who followed Hughes upon the tran
! And tied a tin can to his tail;
And nut the din" in dinner pallE
jim Ham.
7 Who is the White House blushlng pet
\ The truly only, one best bet
/ OF the democratic smartest set!
Jim Ham.