Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1916-10-06
FINNEGAN's PHILOSOPHY.
On The Merry Co Round.

~. ~
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS *ss,
Faith an now Wilson'S for pro-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
1t, for it was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he is for it, that immortal
Instrument has also changed it's
mind. He makes me head shwim.
"But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight all been on
the Merry go-round. Some iv thin
turned sick
"'God bless ye-ye're good man,
but We make me dizzy" says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby-Horse and rum,
MIN for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
throwin' him Cocked-H Hat iv the vim
tage of 1909.
Here's the Army BILL" says CARR
son. How does it suitY he axes.
Fine says Wudthrow, 'barrin' a
few changes. Yell redraw it, he
says, ito PROVIDE says he, voluntary
universal service in Federal Mi
llishy,' says he, 'conthrolled be the
states, says he; an recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. 1t
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe both,' he
says; an the ammynition,' says he
must be nayther too much, nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay, be-
fore decide the daytales, for It's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me off,
says Garrison. Are ye crazy or am
II Garrison means, layin' on hts back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
We, says Wudthrow. i've near-real
raygrit at losin' YOU he says. And as
Garrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry
go-Round plays side step.
'F'what iv the Navy says Kitchin.
1T shud be thur'y adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and In st. Louey,
where it shud be the biggest in the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bill yen pass
says he
"'But this same is the Raypubli-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin,. Yen
60 an pass It, says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the BILL DO
/ Dream says Kitchin. IT l iver
drank, I'd t'tink was boozed,' says
Kitchin In a thremblin' vice. And he
falls of.
"'How about the Army bi1l,' axes
Hay.
Through an instant preparation
for defnse must be the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution In his
eye.
81 have here BILL says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase " five hundther
men year for twinty year. he says;
AN amynishun for six hours acksun,'
he says; twill make us safe from
madagascar, measles, muckrakin',
milit-rism and marital infidility,' he
says, AN We'll catch Willy before he
dies av he doant die before we catch
him. says Hay.
" Embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay - afther all preparedness Is a
matter iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a jobY he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'Divil wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otto service in so bravely sipportin'
me policies, he says, in all their.
phrases he says; I make Judge iv
ye'he,' says he, as well, as yer frind
that We put in the JOKER says the
Prisidint. sHowly Saints says the
preparation S'nitors.
"'Ph-what does this mean at all at
alp they axes. I've the wan thrack
mind says the President, an We go
all through me train Nv thought before
We come to the pork car says he.
Are We onY axes the Apostle " Com
mon Counsels.
"'We're on, says the Sinitors, fall.
ing off. An the Merry -go-round plays
a Wilson Waltz (Which We know, Jawn,
Is wan step forward, two steps back,
hesitate and sidestep). An Tumulty
goes out to spread the glad tidin's that
the preparation p'rade will be led be
TIE President in person.
"'How does be save his face?' asked
Malumphy.
+ n
".Wid his mouth responded Finne-
gan dryly.