Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1916-05-24
EXTRACTS FROM THE AUTO
BIOGRAPHY OF
ZANE GREY SWISSHELM
First Newspaper Woman Of
Minnesota.
A Remarkable Woman Of Ante
bellum Days-1815-1o65
G. H A P T z r x X x.
Many Matters.

Many Matters.
The period Of the Visiter was one of
great mental activity-a period OF hob
bies-and 1t, having assumed the re-
form roll, was expected to assume all
the reforms. Turkish trousers, Four
ierism, Spiritualism Vegetarian1sm,
Phonetics, Pneumonics, the Eight Hour
Law, Criminal Caudlng, Magdalenism,
and other devices for teaching pyra-
mids to stand on their apex were press
ed upon the Visiter, and it was held by
the disciples Of each as false to all
its professions" when declining to de-
vote itself to its advocacy. There were
q thousand men and women, who knew
exactly what 1t ought to do; but sell
dom two of them agreed. and none ever
thought of furnishing funds for the do
ing Of 1t. Reformers insisted that 1t
should advocate their plan of hurry1ng
up the millennium, furnish the white pa
per and pay the printers. Fond parents
came with their young geniuses to have
them baptized in type from the Visiter
font. Male editors were far away folks,
but the Visiter would sympathize with
family hopes.
All, the crop Of Millions. Shakespeares.
and Drydens which was growing up IN
this land, full forty years ago. What
has ever become Of them? Here con-
science gives a twinge, for that wicked
Visiter did advise that parents should
treat young genius as scientists DO
wood, which they wish to convert into
pure carbon, /. e., cover 1t up with
neglect and disbursement, and pat
these down with wholesome discipline.
solid study and useful work, and so let
the fire shoulder out of sight.
The policy Of the Visiter in regard
to Woman's Rights, was to 'go easy,
except in the case Of those slave-women,
who had no rights. For others, gain an
advance when you could. Educate girls
with boys, develop their brains, and take
away legal disabilities little by little,
as experience should show was wise;
but never dream of their. doing the
worlds hard work, either mental or
PHYSICAL; and Heaven defend them from
going into all the trades.
The human teeth proved that we
should eat flesh, and the human form
proved that men should take the ore out
Of the mines. subdue the inertia Of mat
ter and the ferocity of animals; that
they should raise the grain, build the
houses, roads and heavy machinery; and
that women should do the lighter work.
AS this work was as important as the
heavier, and as it fell principally on
wives and mothers, they in these rela-
lions should receive equal compensation
with the husband and father. By this
plan, the estate acquired by a matri-
monial firm, would belong equally to
both parties, and each could devise his
or her share, so that woman would
know that her Accommodations would so
to her heirs, not to her successor. Con-
seQuently, every wife would have an in
centive to industry and economy, in
stead of being stimulated to idleness
and extravaganza as by existing laws.
Women should not weaken their cause
by impracticable demands. Make no
claim which could not be won in rea-
sonable time. Take one step at time,
get good foothold in 1t and advance
carefully. Suffrage in municipal cleo
lions for property holders who could
read, and had never been connected with
crime, was the place to strike for the
ballot. Say nothing about suffrage else
where until it proved successful here.
Intemperance was then under treat
ment by Washingtonianism. BY this
philosophy it was held that each man
consists of about thirty pounds Of solid
matter, wet up with several buckets OF
water; that in youth his mother and
sweetheart kneads, rolls, pats and keeps
him in shape, until his wife takes charge
of him and makes him into large loaves
or little cakes, according to family re-
quirements; but must not stop kneading,
rolling, patting, on pain Of having him
all flatten out.
The diagnosis of drunkenness was
that it was a disease for which the pa
tient was in no way responsible, that
it was created by existing saloons, and
non-existing bright hearts, smiling
wives pretty caps and aprons The cure
was the patent nostrum Of pledse-sign-
ing a lyin-made-easy invention which
like calomel seldom had any permanent
effect on the disease for which 1t was
given and meyer failed to produce an
other and worse. Here the cure Gre
ated an epidemic of forgery, falsehood
and perjury.
Napoleon selected his generals for
their large noses. DR.. Washingtonian