The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1916-04-11

dreams ! never saw anything of which
l had knowledge In my waking life.
My dream life and my waking life were
lives apart, with not one thing In COM
mon save myself. I was the connect
Ing link that somehow lived both lives.
Early In my childhood learned that
nuts came from the grocer, berries
from the fruit man, but before ever
that knowledge was mine. In my
dreams l picked nuts from trees or
gathered them and ate them from the
ground underneath trees, and In the
same way ate berries from vines and
bushes. This was beyond any expert.
ence of mine.
shall never forget the first time
saw blueberries served on the table. |
had never seen blueberries before, and
yet ut the sight of them there leaped
up In my mind memories of dreams
wherein I had wandered through
swampy land eating my Ill of them.
My mother set before me n dish OF the
berries. filed my spoon. but before
| raised 1t to my mouth | knew just
how they would taste. Nor was dis
appointed. 1t was the same tang that
had tasted thousand times in my
sleep.
h Snakes? Long before had heard OF
the existence of snakes l was torment
ed by them In my sleep. They lurked
for me In the forest glades; leaped up,
striking, under my feet: squirmed Off
thrpnuh th< 1ry ,ly
patches Of rock or pursued me into the
treetops, encircling the trunks with
their great shining bodies, driving me
higher and higher or farther and far
Their out on swaying and cracking
branches, the ground dizzy distance
beneath me. Snakes! With their fork
ed togues, their beady eyes and glitter
ing scales, their kissing and their rat
tling-did I not already know them far
too well on that day Of my first circus
when l saw the snake charmer lift
them up? They were old friends Of
mine, enemies rather, that people my
nights with fear.
All, those endless forests and their
horror haunted gloom! For what eter-
mites have l wandered through them,
a timid. hunted creature, starting at the
least sound, frightened by my own
shadow. skeyed up, ever alert and vigi-
liant. ready on the instant to dash away
in mad fight for my life, for l was
the prey of all manner of fierce life
that dwelt In the forest, and 1t was
In ecstasies of fear that l fled before
the hunting monsters.
When l was FIVE years old / went
to my first circus. came home from
it sick. but not from peanuts and pink
lemonade. Let me tell you. AS We
ing shook the air. | tore my hand
loose from my fathers and dashed
wildly back through the entrance. l
collided with people, fell down. and all
the time was screaming with terror.
Ny father caught me and soothed me.
He pointed to the crowd of people. all
careless of the roaring, and cheered
me with assurances Of safety.
Nevertheless 1t was in fear and trem-
bling and with much encouragement
on his part that l at last approached
the lions cage. All, l knew him on
the instant-the beast. the terrible
one! And on my inner vision flashed
the memories Of my dreams-the mid
day sun shining on tall grass. the wild
bull grazing quietly, the sudden part
ing Of the grass before the swift rush
of the tawny one, his leap to the bulls
back, the crashing and the believing
and the crunch, crunch of bones, or,
again, the cool quiet of the water hole,
the wild horse up to his knees and
drinking softly, and then the tawny
one-always the tawny one-the leap,
the screaming and the splashing of the
horse and the crunch, crunch of bones,
and yet again the somber twilight and
the sad silence OF the end of day and
then the great. full throated roar, sud
den, like trump of doom, and swift
upon 1t the insane shrieking and chat
tering among the trees, and |, too
am trembling with fear and am one Of
the many shrieking and chatterins
among the trees.
At the sight of him, helpless within
the bars of his cage, became enlaged
/ gritted my teeth at him, danced up
and down. screaming an incoherent
nockery and making antic faces. He
responded, rushing against the bars and
roaring back mt me his impotent wrath.
All. he knew me, too, and the sounds
I made were the sounds Of old time
and Ineligible to him.
Ny parents were frightened. 1.-THE
child is ILL.," said my mother. HE Is
hysterical" said my father. never
told them, and they never knew. Al
ready had | developed reticence con-
corning this quality of mine, this semi
disassociation of personality as l think
! am justified In calling It,
l saw the snake charmer, and no
more of the circus did ! see that night.
| was taken home, nervous and over
wrought. sick with the invasion OF my
real life by that other life OF my
dreams.
have mentioned my reticence. Only
once did / conhde the strangeness OF
II all to another He was boy, my