Arizona republican., 1916-09-17
For Sale Miscellaneous
A PITIFUL VAIL

Friends I've got an Organ. q mean l one with keys). Oh, of course, I've got | vocal organs, which in earlier years could be classed as tractable and useful Now. wholly useless. However. there | is one which perhaps you would class | as a similitude, for the reason that it ! takes wind to bring music from the ] inanimate instrument, and ditto here l notwithstanding the vile insinuationS I of mine enemies who would have you think that the Lord needs no supplica | ton for me as l am pumped full of wind continuously and explode auto matically. All this has nothing to do with the sale of the organ, however and I want to sell badly, the reason for which is this: About the time l get deep into the chasms of muck and junk, in comes a beautiful young lady, the very personification of all known graces. and immediately she poses be- fore that organ;- l murmur isn't 1t grand to possess an organ? Her first production is, "I Want To Be An Angel" Like the fool I always am, I get funny and roar. No Angel for me. I want to stay here" Why, MT. Ford, do you not wish to be clothed in heavenly raiment and have wings?" Well l should say not. Up she jumps, switches her skirts about twice, and slamming the door, mutters: ''Ill never gather any old dust from that joint again, believe me-" Next comes a musician (you can til these crooks a mile off). He seats himself Hyphen ates, and very visibly premeditates. then turns himself loose. He played, sang. played again. and sang again, 1 finally belching forth that ancient old homily. "Auld Lang Syne" When. he got to the stanza where wen take draught of willy wait for the sake, etc." 1 saw my chance, and yelled, I Me, tool" At this he stopped the clouds overspread his benign counten- ance, and truly hail, as big as bould- CTS falling on a glass roof could not have done more damage. l cussed | Onwardly). wished. begged, and | prayed that that d- organ might disseminate, disintegrate, and dissol- vinate, or in other words be rent in strips, siivers, shavings. and frag ments, but to no avail-Calling me. as the guilty thief that notes his finish, l approached-"Do you drink. sir?' Tn termittently." l gasped. What does that mean?" Tt means that in Phoe-
 nix there is a long period between drinks" I whispered. Would you i'm
 bibe now if opportunity presented?"
 Beloved genius" roared as his hand
 1 grasped, "dost thou hold the Balm
 
 breast covers?" (And my lips smacked
 like pop guns.) See, I fall at thy feet
 and worship" Phew-e-w, I wish
 youse ginks could have seen his face! Get thee hence, Satan," he fairly
 screeched, and fellers 1 just got, You
 have read of hurricanes rushing tor
 rents, and shooting stars, boys
 know but you never have read with
 what lightning rapidity l reached that
 door. Save me, save mel" I yelled
 as l prostrate fell into the arms of a
 Mexican drunk, who. giving one un-
 earthly "carraho," les ped over the side
 walk as frightened as Governor Hunt
 now is at Campbelrs chances of get
 ting his gubernatorial ermine.
 Do you wonder at my wanting to sell that organ?-Here's some other
 novelties
 have some elegant dressers, maple,
 mahogany and oak, sl5 to s20.
 Lovely bookcases. chiffoniers and li-
 brary tables.
 Dressers, all styles and kinds, from
 8 to S1O.
 Beautiful brass beds, s10 to $20.
 Iron beds, 20 grades. sl50 to $s. ! Springs, 10 makes g.. % to $500 f Mattresses, 20 to 45, $2 to $8.
 Floss mattresses. ss for an SIS one. Couches. S3.50 to $450. If you can use a y60 oak bed 1 will sell it for $5.00.
 f Cots in canvas or springs. s1.00 to $5. : Rockers run from $l l.50 to $300 ,t Rugs and carpets from $2.00 to S25. l have the finest filing cabinets you :. ever saw. Large or small drawers or single boxes
 , Oak typewriter desk, T beauty. si4.0J Roll top desks. sl500 to sis00. ? Parlor desk, s6.50. l Single gents desks s4 to s. Desk and bookcase, light wood, sl0 [ Desk and bookcase combined, ele- g gant, s20.
 l Large book case, glass front, $l750. l. Massive walnut wardrobe, SIP. Gentleman's beautiful polished oak n wardrobe with drawers and glass, s2C ' cost $50.00.
 Glass front china cabinets, s4 to s1O
 Large oak side board. Si5.0O.
 Handsome buffet, sl5.00. f Dining tables. extension, Sl0 to S14. , Just received a massive brass bet Z. and springs, S26.00. q Center parlor stands. S1 to $3 z Library tables. 8 to $15. = Elegant oak 5-foot tables, s750. Eight-foot oak desk, Sl6.
 Flat top desks. s10 to SIP
 Singer sewing machines, SIP.
 All other sewing machines, S. IS Beautiful cabinet sewing machine r, s15.00. 't Estey organ, very pretty and good h. 5000
 '. Chiffoniers, s8 to SIS. If Books:
 a Britannica Encyclopedia, full sci o $15.00.
 L. American History, set $2 to $1O. s- Worlds Best History, set $10. ! Science and History, set $500 pr Blacks Novels set $500. = French Novels. set $500. ~ Sherlock Holmes. set $150. F. Redpath World History, set $7.5O
 Annual Creation, set $500.
 Bryants Poetry and Song, $2.00 ~ Webster's Dictionaries, $125 to $37 or large. m Novels, large assortment. 15c to 50 ed School books, any price-very cheal in A full library of physicans books. )t, Mandolin, Guitar, Flute, Claironet. Iis Cash registers, s20 to s25. Id An elegant new electric cofft ss grinder with two nickel receivers. n l4 ready to hitch to electric bulb. S30. % Spring counter scales. Anderson sv $25.00; tested and warranted ge Stoves: In gas stoves, anythir IT, rom tWo-burner to handsome range at Cheaper than all others can sell. If Oll stoves. gasoline. ranges, and ho . cake plates.
 Wood and coal ranges from $1O - s2500. |. Wood and coal stoves, $4 to SIP. Heaters and heating stoves cheap. VI Refrigerators and ice boxes, $1.50