Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-08-10
The Habit
of Telling
By ADA PATTERSON

Have you lost the habit of self tat
thing?
Two murder trials, one that ran
its dramatic length in New York, the
other IN a town near Chicago, have
turned largely upon the sclf-tattlne
habit revealed by two OF the chief
witnesses. One woman might have
held the public to its bencfit-of-the
doubt attitude. and her husband in
the belief that she was true as we'll
as tender, had she not turned tale
bearer upon herself, Now the pub
lie, through her own confession, ranks
her as a Brighter of love, a deceiver
OF the husband who reposed his faitl,
in her. In the other case, the chum
OF a girl who had been a self tale
bearer violated the confidence OF the
dead girl and blazoned her faults to
the world.
, 1t is a strange, disastrous impulse
that bids us flaunt our own folles
and spread our own sins before an
unsympathlzing world. A physician
termed it the fatal impulse to con-
tession." | know a young woman ad-
r dicted to it. She told the neighbors
every time the office boss reproved
her. She told all her girl friends
every time she fell in love or thought
she did. All the family quarrels were
detailed by her to whoever would
lend an ear. All her mistakes in
judgment and in act she made the
common property of her little world.
Once when l had been, for the nine
hundred ninety-ninth time, her con-
ildante in matters which were none
of my affair, | asked her why she
told them. She answered: Because
by telling my troubles l get rid of
them"
This is true in some instances. If
the spine is weak it is relief to SHIFT
the burden to another back. If the
mind is weak, it is relief to shift the
weight of a troubling secret to another
and sturdier mind. If the back is
strong the owner prefers to bear the
burden himself. If the mind and char
acter be strong, both grow and
strengthen by stiffening themselves
against the burden. Resistance is a
faculty that is like all others, strength
'ened by exercise.
Prominent in my memory is another
figure. A female one this, too. She
had a strong face, a little sad at mo-
ments, when she was tired or when
she thought no one was looking. Then
the brave, calm mask fell What ]
saw showed me the world-old story
Of pain and weakness. But it was
pain being conquered, weakness be-
ing strengthened. Said that woman
to me, II have never given a conf
dence that | have not regretted"
When l pressed her for reasons for
this, she answered, at isn't fair TO
the person who has to listen. He
has enough to carry. We all have
Whenever, after that, saw this
woman listening to the whine OF some
weak trouble-passing-on human, | re-
nembered how tired and sad her face
was, and that little time the mask Of
calm bravery had slipped.
Don't tell your troubles. II isn't
fair to the one who has TO listen. 1t
isn't fair to yourself. Remember that
long, long after the trouble you have
related has passed, leaving slight trace
upon your heart, others in whom you
have confided will remember, and, re-
Numbering. pity. Telling your
troubles is photographing them indel-
IDLY upon the memory of others. Don't
be that kind OF photographer; who,
that deserves to live, wants pity:
Don't be self taiebearer.