The Muskogee cimeter. [volume] (Muskogee, Indian Territory, Okla.) 1901-19??, 1916-09-23
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BALAAM.

took an office To curse the people.
The JackaSs saved them. "ris all In
Number Twinty-two. och, hone! "Tis
different these times. The Jacl;nss
knew better till Balaam tanned him.
"Lavo me ride ye.' says Baluam, m
I'll make ye the biggest Ass In tie
wurld.'
"'Great,' says the ASS; what dye
feedT
"Pork,' says Bulaam.
"'Me savior says the Ass.
$50 Balaam mounts. But soon the
Jack ballis.
"Phwat is !tT says Balaam.
"'Snakcs says the ASS; Ut looks
like the jawhone Nv me mother
"'G'wan,' says Balaam. httin' the
Ass clip, It's me furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwnt's ut rorT axes the Ass.
"'Ut dciinds the nashun.' says pa
luam.
"1lowF says the ASS.
Faith says Balaam, ut takes
bigger Ass than you TO know that.
Lave II to Brine says Balaam to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on mcdita-
tin.
"TIce, haw,' says the ASS, ball;in
an kicliin'.
"'What now? says Balaam.
"Divil n JackaSs ever seen the like
says the ASS. Ut could be frog
says he, for Ut stands up in front
and sits down behind; an It's mosly
mouth says the Asa. Ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yallCr
streaks. that changes he says. TO
Very Crooz Red or Niagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again
says he. 'IIlvins, have | been drink
inY screams the ASS to Balaam.
"'Sants he praised says Balnam.
Me Watchful Waltln' can still change
It's mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, In the
service NV Mankind says Balaam. To
the ASS, touching him up. An the
Ass shuilcs ahead wavin' his ears in
admiration.
"'IIechaw! lice-hnw" says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
"Phwat's grippin' ye now? says
Balaam. impashunt like.
81 dunno says the ASS Ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialist Crew he says.
"''Tis me Ship BIZ says Balaam.
Side step to the right ne says;
side step to the left says he, wei
tin him. Back up says Eulaam,
near wrenchin off the jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
laam Wild Il shower NV blows; an the
Ass goes on thrcmbin'.
"'Wah-hee! Wah-hcc! Wnh.heer =
says the Jack, shyin so he near
threw his rider.
"'Tll learn ye to shy at me Naval
BILL says Balaam, lar-rupin' the
bnste so he cud scarce stand.
aye can't pass ut widOut wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack in
a coarse whisper.
"'ie ASS says Balanm. Don't We
know that amy cloes is hctthcr nor
nakedness? G'wan,' says Balaam, in
tones Nv thunder. So the poor baste
lopes on, limpn' wild pain.
"Ive not time to tell yc all the ad-
ventures they had, but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros
SIN ditch on wan term plank,
which made even Balaam unaiSy.
Iviry time the Jack kicked, he got
short rations an wallop. So when
the journey was near over the poor
baste was all In, and far too proud to
fight. Any JackAss cun he that
when he's licked
EVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into n harmony like II Dmycrut Tariff
Hymn played on gasplpe wild the
feet.
"'Phwat ails ye nowT calls Balanm,
clpbbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivver did pass the like yells
the Ass, sweating and thremhlln'. Ut
says ut's an eight hour law. On phwat
is utT screams The ASS to Balaam,
fcebly waggin' his ears.
81 dinno phwat ut Is mcSclf,' says
Balaam, but | know phwat ut's got, ;
Balaam says.
"PhwatT axes the poor ASS.
"'Five hundther thousand votes, ;
suys puluulll, WIZ u IlouS AR. u wan,
ye big Ass, an doant ye argue wild
an Idaylist,' says Balaam to the ASS.
"'We can't pass ut in the dark,
pleads the Ass. Lave us wait for
light means the ASS weepin'.
"'Nix,' says Balaam. There's hot
time comm an the votos'll splle.
Do ye thurst for sixteen more years
In the wilderness? Gidd0p,' says he,
'purgH' Yer heart, says Balaam, iv
iviry thought that's selfish, says Ba-
laam, or PERSONAL chants Balaam u
the poor Ass ticklin' the Jacks Stats
wild coupin pin.
"By this time the Ass was so wore
out wild his ardyOus labOrs, that he
knew no more than Balaam himself.
So wild one dcSpnirin cry, he dropped
his ears, as he an his master stumbled
forward into the dark"