The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1916-10-23
PHILOSOPHY
Pitiless Publicity

Il see Mr.. Hughes wud like to know
fwhat's come to Pitiless Publicity
Meself could tell him. Where's "Piti-
less Publicity? % says Hughes. In the
Ash Can says l. Twas all right on
the stump. but in Washin'ton it's diff
fer. The Harp that vans through
Trenton's halls - name Tumulty.
Win he bursts into song now he picks
his chune.
IT'S not that Prisidint Wilson is
less public than Candydate WILSON,
he's less pltiIess. IT'S like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
tn illyfant, but he has mintal res-va-
shune about the spotted baby.
so Ii is wild Wilson. He's sof'ned
the hard heart iv 'Pitiless Publicity
How about the PostmastersF' axes
the refawrumers. Wen niyer tell we,
says the C'mishun. For Why says
the League. Twid embar'ss tn AID
ministhrashVn,' says the C'mishun
And the people laughs. 'Ye fired tn
Hid Of the Cinsus,' says Hughes. We
lie says Redfeld. He raysined wild
out bein' axed,' says he. 'Ye lie yer
self says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
fire me, an We gev me place TO IA
POLITICIAN says Durand. 'Ixacly
fwhat | said yells Pink Whiskers, i
was goin' to fire We anyway, but !
niver axed We to r~aysine,' says Pinky.
An the people roars.
Tell us about all thin Dishurvin'
Dimmycrats,' saws the people. An
Washin'ton Is sweep be a storm iv
silence.
But doan't We think there's no pub
licity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet too.
"'We'll grab some land in VinZu-
eely. says the Ambassydure, 'tem'pri-
ly,' says be. Yen not says Teddy,
ven agree to arbitrate,' says he. or
he says, in tin days Dewey'n be there
says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con
STINT say til other. Thin says Ted
dy, IN sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin'.' Teddy says. How'd
en- says the Ambassydure. we
agree says he. an divil a bit did we
know how 1t was for a dozen year.
"'Well have Ferdy Carey alive or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy.
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says. on demand iy the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
How Is 1t now? The greasers
s%laughters twinty at Sanity Isabel
Another Mexican Crisis says the
headlines. "'winty Americans killed.
they SAYS. The Presidint Calm say
they. 'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays
Goluf.' saws the headlines. An the pa
per goes on:
"'The Prisidint's appetite at break
fast was good. tn leader ~ the ma
shun gettin' outside Nv grape fruit. ba-
con an eggs. hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin Docther Grayson announced the
bin iy fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
1.-The PriSidint is solvin' I'm privacy
the fateful question, Twill me throat
last?" The answer is waited wild fe.
verish anxiety
"Mondah the papers says: 'Nashunal
Disasterl Sore Throat Feared Panic
at the Capital! The Prisidint Calm!
Consideration was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisidint awoke with a sore throat
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
talk iv appintin' a day ~ prayer. IL is
hoped that Senior Arre-ye-on-though
viii claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ix%icushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but wan remark
Az they'd not been there they'd ut iv
been kilt
'Choosdah. they says. Hope reyives.
No sore throat. Bitten by insect
President calm. All Phrases Nv Mat
Their to be considered.
1.-The anxiety in the Capital was re
laved today be the followin' bulletin
1.-THE Prisidint has a slight per
4 l0A dAlui III tue Gull1lt ONGA lhb AuIclN
ure maximary caused be a insect bitin'
him whin asleep. The patient was too
proud TO scratch. (Signedp Grayson."
ut is reported also that Gineral
Scott will go to the border TO bury the
dead. and apologize to the Insurgents
lie will axe CarranZy, whether he wud
accept a loan If offered. This is con
sidered the thrue sutton Nv the diff
Guilty
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in. Thursdah he writes a note and
Gineral Scott starts for the border.
Fridah the headlines says Peace in
Europe near President studyin' terms
Will he stop the war? Another note
expected Capital excited over report.
But we're comforted be bein' towld
the Prisidint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
aGun1ah hos anncfAar{pS fh, Ar