davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Not Always So.

"A man learns most who begins at
the bottom" remarked the parlor
philosopher.
How about the fellow who is learn.
ing to swim?" asked the mere man.
Judge. -
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Nothing Unemployed.

Talk about people who put every
thing to use, Mrs. Blank is the limit. /"
"Is she?"
"Why, that woman would use the
family skeleton for dresss form. =.
Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
It Makes a Difference.

The young wife-Some women don't
like to have husband hang around
the house all the time, evening after
evening. I'm sure / don't mind 1t, do
you?
Married friend--Whose Husband?
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
A Fatal Mistake.

A westerner had hanged himself to
the bedpost by his suspenders. The
verdict of the coroner's Jury ran. DE
ceased came to his death by coming
home full and mistaking himself for
his pants. ."-Philadelp Ledger.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08

SirsHiram Stevens Maxim, scientist
and inventor, who quit the United
States in 1884 when his semi-auto-
matte rapid fire gun was rejected by
the United States and accepted by the
British government, has just died in
London. In 1887 he was knighted by
Queen Victoria for his work in inven-
tion and science.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Comedy and Pathos.

"A man looks comical when he pro.
poses"
Yes" replied Miss Cayenne. "He's
fortunate II he can let It go at that
ana not look pathetic after he is mar
ried. Washington Star, ~
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Fatal Kindness.

Minnie-so sorry to hear of your
motor accident!
Lionel-Oh, thanks; it's nothing Ex-
pect to live through many more.
Minnie-oh, but I hope not!-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Loves His Liza.

Look here, Sam"
Eyes, Liza"
Il begins t. think yer doesn't love
me no mo-"
Nonsense, Liza; what put that in
yo' head?"
why, you just sits there by the
fire and sees me work"
why, Liza, the more / sits here by
this fire an sees yer workin', the more
| loves yer, Buffalo News.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08

Young Husband-You are always
right, dear!
Young Wife--Do You really think so?
Young Husband-Oh, yes, and am
always wrong about everything.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
LAND FOR SALE
In SOlanO County California

16O acres known as Northwest Quarter,
Section 2S, Township 20, Range 2 West,
in northwestern part of Solano County.
Low price and easy terms to the right
man. Address M. A. Green, 1922 Mission
Street, San Francisco, California.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Afterward.

Jones (who has called round to see
II his friend has recovered from a
Wild night)-Is Mr.. Wuzzy up yet?
Landlady (sternly)-Yes, he got up
an hour ago, drank his bath, and went
back to bed.--London Notes. n
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08

Lightning caused 271a per cent Of
the 1891 forest fires suppressed by
the Forest Service in Oregon, Wash
ington and Alaska during the season
of 1916.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Modern Life.

well, how did things come out in
your school contests?a
"Trifle mixed. A girl won the ham
mer throwing contest and boy took
first prize for fruit cake. Louis-
vile Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
of Course.

Feminist--Just think, if the girls
were taken away from this college
what would follow?
Chorus of roughs-We would
Chapparal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Strictly Temperar.

tete. wv :"
~ she-All right, but don't let EN-
make mine too strong.-B Baltimore
American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Mr. Meek ohlects.

THE subject of white slavery
Pardon me- said skimpy little Mr..
Meek, but | prefer not to talk about
my condition. Judge.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Corrected.

The Sheriff-Have you anything to
say before you are hanged?
The Prisoner Originally from Bos-
ton)--You don't expect me to talk af-
forwards, do you?-Judge.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08

Amsterdam, via London Constan-
tinople dispatch says the Turkish
chamber Of deputies has accepted a
proposal to increase this years budget
for the war ministry by $50, 600, 900.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08

The timber and grazing resources
in the National Forests of Oregon,
Washington and Alaska have an esti-
mated value of $233 ,0O0,0
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
A chappIe,s Lament.

I'm Shakespearean times young
bloods sat on the stage"
And we think we know 1t all. Why,
the best we can do today is to put ex-
ira chairs in the orchestra pitt
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Little Elsie had been chastIsed so,

misbehayior. -
q What's the matter dear?" asked
grandma. Did you have an aocidentY "
"N,no, grandma" sobbed Elsie. ~
wasn't an a'accident. M.mamma did
u on p-purpose," - Chicago Daily
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Hebbs' Scheme.

$50 you think Hobbs is miserly."
"Miserly! Why, he makes point
of going out to lunch early before his
appetite comes on, so that he can
save money."-Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
Forest Notes.

The National Forests contain the
most extensive public Fairgrounds in
the world, and are open to the free
use Of the people.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08
The French Tribunal.

! Doctor-Why were you rejected?
Applicant tsmiling) For inbecility,
What do you do for q living?'
Nothing; have an income Of Co.
600 francs.s
Are you marriedi''
Yes"
what does your wife DOR
Nothing; she Is richer than r.
You are no imbecile. Passed for
general service - London Daily News.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-12-08

To keep clean and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regu-
late liver, bowels and stomach.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
Street RAILWAY
ASKED FOR POLICY
w. ----~u
Governor Wants To Know About
improvements Before He Acts
On Charter

In letter to the public utilities com.
mission, read at the meeting of that
body yesterday, the Governor intimates
that his action on the proposed fran,
chise measure of the Honolulu Rapid
Transit and Land Company will depend
upon the action or inaction of the
company in making several improve.
ments in its lines in the immediate flu.
ture
The Governor asks the commission to
ascertain from the company at once
whether it intends to do its share in
the proposed Kalakaua avenue i'm.
provcmentsi to construct a loop in the
Puunui district, and if it is prepared
to connect with and serve Fort Ruger
when the federal government has per.
fected its plans at that fertilization.
These queries, in accordance with the
words of the Governor y request. will
Ne submitted to the transit COMPANY
m categorical" form.
Certain extensions, the double track
ng of its line in Kalakaua avenue
and King streets, we're contemplated
W the company some time ago, but
Manager Ballentyne was quoted recent
v as saying that these had been post
1"ned indefinitely, the directors feel
ing they were not in position to make
he extensions while the franchise re.
mninS as it is now.
The Governor in turn intimates that
b" wants official information on the
r"int before he decides what form the
GO mPHny s proposed new franchise, in
his opinion, should take.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
GAMBLERS QUARREL
LEADS TO MURDER
Filipino Shoots Countryman OFF
Running-Board of Auto and
Victim Expires

After shooting and killing Pedro
NolGscO, q Filipino, at Knhaluu, at
nine O'Clock yesterday morning, Gre.
gCrio Endosa, countrymnn. notified
the Honolulu police that he had com
mitted the murder, and gave himself
up to Deputy Sheriff Robert w. Davis
near the scene of the shooting. He
was charged with murder in the first
degree, and his case will be given to
the grand jury on Friday.
A post-mortem examination con.
Quoted by Sheriff Charles H. Rose and
once Surgeon r. G. Aver yesterday
afternoon disclosed that Nolasco died
,nstantaneously from two bullet
wounds In the right side, both of which
penetrated the lung and lower lobe of
he liver, causing internal hemor-
rhages. -Four wounds were found on
the body.
The eoroner's jury returned a yer.
dict to the effect that Nolasco came to
his death as the result of gunshot
wounds inflicted from a thirty five
caliber automatic revolver in the hands
of Endosa.
Endosa said that he killed Nolasco
because the latter had threatened to
stab him, and would have killed him
self but his Ammunition supply was ex.
hausted. According to witnesses, there
were differences between the men over
gambling debts. Yesterday morning.
after they had left a gambling den, En-
dosa accused Nolasco Of stealing FIVE
dollars from him.
The accusation caused a heated ar.
gument between the men near the post.
ONCE, and both, while arguing, jumped
on the running board Of an automobile
which was about to start for Honolulu
Without warning, Eadosa fred four
'hots. at Holasco, who fell from the
machine to the ground, dying instantly
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
KICK OUT AMERICANS .
SAYS Won REVENTlOW
(By The Associated Prsss.)

LONDON, August 22-Writing in the
Tages Zeitung, Count Won ReVentlow,
says an Exchange Telegraph despatch
from Amsterdam, challenges the Ger
man government TO use the crops grown
in occupied territories the same as il
they were grown in Germany for feed
ing the German population, thus dis
posing, he says, of food difficulties.
"This will enable us to kick out the
American commission always unfrieDd-
ly to Germany, and which gives the
enemies Of the Fatherland much valu-
able information concerning Germany 3
position" the despatch quotes the writ.
or as declaring.
american food controllers are in.
tolerable for Germany" he adds.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
METHOD|STS PLAN TO
:. r. 'REUN'|1E CHURCHES eli
. a.,
q
Two Branches Appoint Commit
tee Of Nine For Union
tBy The Associated Prn,..l

KNOXVILLE, August ga com.
mission Of twenty .fve representative
members of the Methodist Episcopal
Church, South, to confer with a similar
commission from the Methodist Episco.
pal Church to consider the union of the
two ranches of Methodists, has been
rrmed NJ Tate Springs by committee
Of nine appointed for the purpose.
Bishop A W. Wilson presided and the
members present included Bishops Col
Inns, Denny and E. E. Hose.
The Inmes of the commissioners an.
pointed will not be given out until
their accertances are received. A suf.
fcient humber of alternatives we're an.
pointed TO ell any vacancies that may
occur.
1he tw" commissions are to outline
a plan Of union which it is expected
will he ratified at the uuadrennial
meetings. Of the two church bodice in
1915.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
DR.. GOODSPEED ASKED
TOSERN CENTRAL UNION

Rev. Frank L. Goodspeed, DID, of
oakland, will be asked to oil the vacan.
"y created by the resignation of DR..
Doremus Scudder, as pastor Of the Cen.
trail Union Church, pending the -selec.
ton Of a permanent pastor and asso-
eiate pastor. This was definitely decid.
ed upon at the last meeting Of the
board of trustees and the standing
committee of the church. A cablegram
has been sent to Doctor Goodspeed.
Doctor Scudder will not leave for ia.
pan until after the recognising of the
church has been completed, and will be
here to assist Doctor Goodspeed in
picking up the work Of the various de,
partments of the church.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
GERMAN CATHOLICS
W|LL Be MUSTERED
Call Issued For Mass Meeting To
Take Stand In Presidential
Campaign
(A.sociated Press b1 Federal Wir.len.l

NEW YORK, August 23.-James F.
Zipf, president of st. AIoysius de Con
zaga Union Of st. Louis, last night
issued call for a mass meeting of
Roman Catholics at the Central Verein
unit 20 vote to conserve "the high and
hciy principles for which the Catholics
stand
tr his statement Zipf says that there
are 100000 Catholics in the United
States who are citizens and voters.
This is quite a force,' he adds,
"for bringing about proper conditions
IN this country. There are almost as
many of US as there were Republicans
who voted at the last presidential elec.
ton, and our weight is going to
COUNT
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
American Commissioners Named
Will Take Up Mexican Question

a member of The Hague peace tribunal.
Doctor Mott is we'll known as an
official of the Y. NJ. G. A. He is a
graduate of Cornell and Of Yale and
the University Of Edinburgh. He was
chairman and executive secretary Of
the student volunteer movement, and
since the outbreak Of the great war
has been engaged in Y. M. G. A. work
back OF the trenches and among the
prisoners Of war.
Secretary Lansing and Ambassador.
designate Arredoudo will meet shortly
to decide upon the locality of the con.
ferences of the joint commission. II
is understood that the Mexicans are in
favor Of some one of the resorts on the
New Jersey coast, but nothing definite
has been settled upon as vet.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
Bourbon Finaneierng Is Upheld
Mexico and Preparedness Costly

In speaking Of the preparedness ex.
penditures of this congress- senator
simmons declared that they were less
than the Republican leaders clamvred
for.
Senator Smoot Of Utah. in answering
the statement made by the senator
from North Carolina. told the senate
that "the Democrats nrc attempting
TO win votes at tn" coming election
under false prctcnses "
"H," he added. "thc Democratic
PARTY is continued in power after the
coming election, the country win suf.
fer an era of unqualified rxtravagu nee
combined with gross ircthcipucv. "
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
HAWAIIAN is STABBED
IN FIGHT WITH HAOLE

Abraham Helena, a Hawaiian, was
seriously injured yesterday afternoon
at the corner of Beretania and River
streets in a fight with Jack Kinamen,
an American, who stabbed the Ha.
waiian with a knife. Kinamen re.
ceived cash on his arm from the
weapon in his own hand. Both men
were taken to the emergency hospital.
HPlena's wound necessitated seven
stitches. Kinamen was arrested
charged with assault and battery.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
HUGHES DECLARES STAND
FOR LABOR PROTECTION

(ASSocistsd Press BY Federal wireIsss)
SACRAMENTO, August 23-Declar.
ing his belief in the proposed federal
compensation law and in protective
laws for labor, Charles Evans Hughes,
Republican candidate for the presi,
dency, last night addressed a huge
gathering of all classes here. He read
to the crowd the letter of endorse.
ment given to him by the labor leaders
of New York on his retirement from
the governorship of the Empire State.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
&ERIAL BOMB KILLS
CELEBRATED SAVANT
(By The Associated Press.1

PARIS, August 22.-Andre Godin,
Psychologist and poet, has been killed
at the front by an aerial torpedo as he
vas leaving a communication trench
At the back of the French line. His
unpublished papers, the result of pro
longed research, are to be edited by his
dancee, Madame Bertha De Nyse. as
sisted by some of Godin's scholarly
friends. Godin was serving as a pri-
vate in the commissariat when he was
killed.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
JAPAN BRANDS LAND STORY
AS BEING UTTERLY FALSE,
ASSOCIATED Press by Federal wirelssu.)

(Associated Press by Federal wirelsss)
WASHINGTON, August %. - The
Japanese embassy vigorously denies the
published report that a Spaniard nam.
ed Fernandez reported seeking a big
land concession near the Atlantic end
Of the Panama canal is acting in Jap
anese interest. The story is branded
as part of the anti-Japanese alarmist
propaganda.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
NAVAL WAR GAME
GETS UNDER WAY
Red Fleet Begins Attack On A.
Iantic Coast, Defended BY
Blue Fleet
ASSOCIATED Press BY FEDERAL wireless,

WASHINGTON, August e. The
two rival American fleets, the Red and
the Blue, started the annual naval war
game yesterday. The Reds are attack
ing the Atlantic coast of the United
States and have until the first of the
month to effect the landing of IN in
vading army somewhere between Cape
Hatteras and Eastport, Maine.
The Red feet Is Under the command
Of Admiral Mayo, and the Blue feet
is commanded by Rear Admiral Helm.
Admiral Mayo has with him thirty
transports, supposed 20 be carrying
the troops Of the imaginary army with
which he proposes to "invade" the
United States.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
lNFANTiLE PARALYSIS IS H..
STILL GARNERlNG VICTIMS

ASSOCIATED Press by Federal wirsIsss)
TRENTON, New Jersey, August %.
-lnfantile paralysis has swept from
New York into this State, and accord.
ing to the reports issued by the board
of health last night there were l4l new
cases of the desease reported in the
state yesterday. Seven additional
municipalities reported cases.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
JAPANESE BOY BROWNS
IN IRRIGATION DITCH

Wandering away from his mother,
H"ri Kiroki, two-year-oh Japanese
child, fell into an irrigation ditch in
Puiwa drive, in Upper Nuuanu, yester.
dav morning, and was drowned. The
baby was found by the mother, who
missed her charge about an hour after
the child had left the house. Drs. s.
Tokuvama and H. Ishima were sum.
moned.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
Supervisor Hatch Wants Homo
lulu Board To Express Its Re-.
grets To San Francisco
BUT FIRST He FAV0RS Il .
CAREFUL INVESTIGATION
Thinks Federal Service Goes Too
Far In Treating Coast City
As infected Port

+. NJ. Hatch, member of the board of
SUPERVISORS. believes HonoluIu sborId
,,o,oo;.o o. a.. p.o;. g.. a.
"P0 W '"".'''o ior Tue
quarantine inspection visitors from the
Msinland must undergo of this port
before they can disembark from thci,
ships. - ~.
He preaented n resolution nj tho city
board q meeting last evening asking
that IL send to the San Francisco suner,
visors a letter expressing regret for
the quarantine. or. as his resolution on.
presses II, F'that the port Of San Fran.
cisco is treated as an infected mort so
far as passenger travel Is concerned
BY the public health service ~ nc
United States in Honolulu. -
The resolution, at his request, was
reterred TO the health committee, of
Wnlcn ne Is member, for further in
ves'lgation' ~
GOOD Name Of CITY Involved
81 don 4 want TO make light of this
matter" said the author Of the meas.
ure, speaking in its behalf. II feel
that the good name of our CITY il in
volved in the reception accorded our
visitors from the States.
1--WE are sending ont invitations by
the thousands to the people of the
mainland to come and enjoy our hospi.
tality, and when these visitors arrive
off port they are compelled to UNDERGO
medical examination that, to say the
least, IL irksome and, to nv opiniop
entirely unnecessary.
"As far as 1 have been able tn
learn, there is no law requiring il.
At San Francisco - request. tho omar.
antine inspection of vessels entering
that port from Honolulu has been
withdrawn by the federal government.
II seems to me il ii up to us to treat
San Francisco and Her people with as
i"u'" 0iVih'y aS phey nave gwen us.
board OF Health In Air
"The quarantine of passengers il
not maintained on vessels from New
ork to New Orleans, or vice versa, or
from New York to Gan Francisco.
"0ur TERRITORIAL hoard of health IA
up in the cir on the question. One
local newspaper, educating ,continu
ance of the regulation, has advanced
he argument that II is necessary to
.)revent importation of fever mosuui.
oes and malaria. For that matter,
an, Francisco has neither mosquitoes
or malaria, so ! can see no danger in
hat phase Of the affair"
Supervisor HollinsOr urged that the
resolution be actel. upon at once.
Hatch objected to this, saying he did
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
CITY PROPERTY APPRAISED

According to estimates submitted by
W J.. Fr"Ie", superintendent, to Mayor
"ne the property of the municipal
electric plant is valued at $26, 59S. II
and thot Of I'll" police and FIRE alarm
t"l""raph system at $75O2.23, a total
of $3ilOO.36 for the two properties
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
tAssocistsd Press By Federal wirslsss.D

!. tAssociated PTesS ~ FederaI WiTelsss.J
WASHINGTON, August 2S.-After
many delays the personnel Of the Amer.
lean commission which will attempt to
reach settlement of the questions
pending between this country and Mex.
leo was announced by the state depart.
mont last night.
The commission will be, headed by
Franklin X. Lane, secretary Of the in
terror, and the other members are DR..
John r. Mott of New York and Judge
George Gray. Of Wilmington Delaware.
Judge Gray is prominent jurist and
Democrat Of Delaware having served
part Of term as United States sen
atoT for his State. He has been mem
Der Of various commissions, as well as
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
SHARP RuMANlAN PROTEST
IS SENT TO BULGARIANS
(By The Annotated Pr.s,l !

AMSTERDAM, August 22--Drawing
attention to recent incidents on the
frontier, such as the attempt of Bull
garian soldiers to seize a Rumanian is.
land in the Danube, the Rumaninn for.
eign minister, according to semioffiriaI
telegram from Bucharest, notified Bull.
g"ria that the incidents were "too
frequent aud not in aceordanc. with
the good relations between the two
countries.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
SPREADING
RAPIDLY IN JAPAN
Citizens Quarantine Committee
r Organized To Assist Officers
Especial oablegram TO Hawaii shinpo.)

Especial oablegram to Hawaii Shinpo.)
TOXIC, August 22.-Cholera, which
threatens Yokohama, Nagasaki, Osaka,
Kobe and omori, has attacked the pre-
lectures of Hiroshima and Yamaguchi,
Two new cases at famaguchi and
one case at Hiroshima were reported
this morning.
A citizens quarantine party has
been organized TO cooperate with the
health authorities, and strict disinfec-
ton of the cities Is undertaken.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
HEAT COSTS WOMAN
EYE WHEN SHE FALLS
(By The Associated Press

PHILADELPHIA, August 22-Mrs.
Mary O. Brien sixty-two years old, of
254 North Fifth street, lost an eye as
she was overcome by the heat and fell
against hook used for hanging chick.
ems in a market stall. She was re.
moved to a hospital in a critical con.
dition.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
WILLIAM J. BRYAN WILL
START CAMPAIGNING SOON

(Asaociated Press BY Federal wireisss)
NEW YORK, August est was an.
nounced here last night that William J.
Bryan, former secretary of state, win
start campair ing for Woodrow Will
son about September Is, unless his pres.
ent plans are altered. He expects to
begin the fight for the Presidents re.
election, in Ohio.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1916-08-25
SENATE CHANGES VOTE
WHEN WARNED OF VETO
tAssOoiatsd Pros. BY Federal wirsIss..,

NABBociAtod ProsS BY FEDERAL WiTelea8.)
WASHINGTON, August %. - The
President said emphatically today that
he would veto the immigration bill il
1t came before him again with the liter.
acy test still Incorporated, and with
that the senate little later today de-
feated o motion to take up the measure.
Yesterday the senate voted twenty
seven to twenty-four to take up the bin
several Democrats siding with the Re.
publicans in voting for its considera.
tion, but today che vote was the other
way and the senate then returned to
its consideration of the revenue bill.