The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1916-01-15
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Congress.
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For months the Spectator has not of
fered any suggestions as to what any
one else should or should not do. but
that has not hindered him from receiv-
ing admonitions that were meant well.
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The American people are the only
people on earth who do not honor their
flag; the American people are the only
people on earth who do not know their
national songs; and they are the only
people who do not know how to sing IS
the sweeping anathen1a which Henry
Edward Malloy brings against the cit
zens of the United States. 1t does not
seem to ruff1e them much because they
know it's true.
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President Lewis says that chum is
parasite If chums starve each other
how do they each live?
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It is doubtful if there is any animal
which is so largely legs as the young
katydid, reads science note. But did
you ever notice twelve year old boy
wiggle into rocker in the parlor?
5000
According to J. E. House tact is only
a polite name for hypocrisy. Yes,
hypocrite IS always tactful, but tact
full person is not always hypocrite.
5000
If person feels badly why can he
not also feel goodly.
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One good thing which the war has
done is to create so much noise that we
do not suffer so much from the contin-
ual pop-pop of the Congressman.
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The new Emperor of China has thirty
one children. No comment necessary.
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To say of man that he will make a
good husband is much the same sort OF
compliment as to say of horse that he
is perfectly safe for woman to drive,
says the Catholic Advance.
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eff ever join a church in Hays, l
shall join Church because
it has neither politics nor religion, is
the reported statement of one of the
county's prominent citizens.
5000
No, my son, the devotees Of the Cult
of the Stiletto Tongue do not make
their thrusts for the blood of the victim.
The fluid which the Stlletto Tongue
causes to flow is tears.
A thermometer in sleeping porch is
not nerve tonic, but it keeps the night
from being just one toss of the covers
after another.
It has been rightly said that clever
ness is its own reward and the every
one is certain that it rewards no one.
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Formerly it was an unWrltten law
that the man who rejected woman s
proposal during leap year had to pro-
vide her with a kiss and silk dress.
The Spectator wishes to observe that
the law said provide her with a kiss. -
There is no requirement that the man
who rejected her had to kiss her. It is
presumed that the law fell into disuse
because it was easier to provide the
silk dress than it was the kiss.
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The successful man is he who has
been willing to spend fve-dollar time
doing five-cent jobs avs the rector.
5000
A course in fourth year college En-
glish is to be offered at the Normal
School next semester in which Robert
Browning will be the principal study. 1t
is expected that while there may be con-
siderable Browning there is bound to be
some varnish.
When a5student at the Normal School
wishes to tell particularly good
story he always prefaces his remarks
by saying that this is a faculty story. "
5000
We all have long since learned Mel
sons famous message, England ex-
poets every man to do his duty" 1t
has lately come to light that Mel so1
originally worded it Nelson expects
every man to do his duty" Some Of
ficers suggested to him that he substi
tute the name of his country for his
own. Nelson bowed silently and hum
bly, to their suggestion and gave the
order that now bears his name.
5000
How many of US would have done it
The trouble with us is that all of US say
we would have.
A New Yorker has rented his fiat FOL
next year at an annual rental of $50, 900
It has q rooms and II baths. Yes, the
Spectator has forgotten his name.
5000
The man who does not amount tt
much wears the sign of it, says J. E
House.
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