Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1916-09-02
Lone Us. Friendship
BY BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

Several weeks ago wrote All arti-
Gle on this subject. One OF my read
ers. member OF the medical profess
sion, has written me so sanely and
sincerely in reply to my article that ]
want to quote from his letter and
again to point out some OF the quail
ties which make for love which shall
be lasting and worth while.
All of US remember the beautiful
lines from the Psalms, Except the
Lord build the house, they labor in
vain that build it,'
| Nothing that is built on foundations
OF sand can last when the storms OF
life beat upon II. A love that is not
based on strong foundations can not
weather time and stress.
Most OF the tragedies OF marriage
are due to weak foundations. When
the builders OF life hurry too fast and
do not test the foundation on which
They build. they practically invite fall
urc.
| Ny correspondent. ]. ], w, says in
part: The love that lasts is the love
OF the minds and souls of men and
women whose thoughts run on par
allcl lines, whose aims and objects Of
life arc cooperative and whose
characters arc companionable. A love
| that fades is a love based on jealousy,
on appreciation OF things that are only
Iof "a temporary nature and on com
| bination OF two objects whose very
atoms lack the property OF union
Doesn't this sound sane and scnsi-
lblcs A wild flare OF feelinga tenn
porary iniatuation, an attraction that
can be analysed into the fact that
some little trick OF personality APP
pcals isn't much on which to base
| 4 life partnership, is III
Youth plunges hcadlong into IN
iatuations which il imagincs are GO
ing TO be permanent land youth lets
| impulse and instinct anda desire Tor
companionship and sympathy mort
gage its whole future,
II friendship is TO be based on
lcongeniality-and all oil. US know that
| Il has how much more must lifelong
Friendship have congenialiiy on which
to build. Marriage can not be a sue
cess unless in addition, to love Gin its
generally accepted meaning) il has a
| foundation OF honest liking, whole
some respect. mutual interest and
broad toleration OF points OF differ
encc
AS u matter OF fact love in its gen
| orally accepted sense isn't love at all
| Real love ought to include these quail
itics OF liking and understanding and
respect.
An emotional attraction-a sort OF
chemical affiniiy--an instructive APP
peal are all needed 10 make up love,
| but they are not love itself instead
they are but one OF its parts
When a man aud woman are not
congenial. when they do not enjoy
discussing such impersonal things as
politics and current events, when they
do not respect each others work and
ambitions. they have no right 10 mar
Try. Marriage is life partnership.
Love is a wonderful big thing--not
series Of selfish demands on the be-
loyed's personality and time, but a
series OF unseliish adjustments to the
bcloycd's personality and time. Real
love gives, while infatuation asks.
Real love seeks understanding, while
/ the love OF the moment demands that
Il be understood.
Not on shifting uncertainties. mot
on petty trivialties and not on tur.
bulent emotion can YOU build real
love. Instead, il has TO be based on
life's big realities. which arc honest
and stable and for all time.
Marriage must be mating of souls
which are in tune and of minds which
understand. The physical can be sa-
cred and beautiful only wien the
mental and the spiritual give ], life
and color and poetry, The love that
lasts thinks and aspires and under.
stands in addition TO feeling