davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-04-19
NEW OBSERVATION
BALLOON REACHES
THE AERO STATION
OLD ONE SHIPPED BACK TO THE
FACTORY, WHERE IT WILL BE
REPAIRED.

A new observation balloon has
reached the aero station from the
works Of the Goodyear Rubber COM
pany. 1t win replace the one that
went on wild fight a week or two
since, and was so badly damaged by
coming in contact with the tops Of
trees that it was found necessary to
return it to the factory.
The new balloon is similar in every
particular to the one returned.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-04-19

Some high flyers for
boys.
Suits with a dash and
go to 'ern that appeal to
youth.
Norfolk style of course.
If a more becoming model
be designed we'd be the
first to have it, but the
pleats, belts and patch
pockets are particularly
good looking on boys.
Boys Cool Crash two
pants suits, $4 to 81.
Light weight Wool
Suits, SIS to $3.50.
Everyth in G else for
boys to wear on Easter.
Boys Shoes in qualities
that are really unbeat-
able. $500 to $500.
%9%M@r
Always Reliable
Postoffice Block.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-04-19
An ALLEGED NEGRO
MURDERER CAUGHT
CALVIN CARTER, AT LARGE FOR
ABOUT THREE YEARS, is CAP
TURED IN GREENvILLE, ALA.

Sheriff Ellis yesterday received a
telegram announcing that Calvin
Carter, colored, for whom he had
been searching for the past three
years, had been captured at Ever
green, Ala, and is held prisoner in
jail there.
Carter is alleged to have killed
Cleveland Smiley, also colored, at
Century. He escaped, and had not
since been heard from.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-04-19
John Barrymore in Nearly a King"
Also Graft" Isis Tomorrow.


You are caught in a blind alley,
with your back to a massive door.
Upon you rushes a squad Of soldiers
shouting in foreign tongue of which
you do not understand word. But
one thing you do know-that if they
can reach you they will kill you like
a rat. What will you do? Jack Bar
rymore decided to fight, and he put
up one of the greatest battles ever
seen on the motion picture screen.
1t all happens in Nearly a King,
in which the Famous Players Film
company is starring the celebrated
comedian on the Paramount Program
1t is the attraction at the Isis tomor-
row.
But the fight, which is one of the
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
COMING
FOR CONTEST HERE
With HIGH SQUAD
Stuttgart Players On Grip
pied List and Change In
Schedule Is Result.

The Fordyce high school football
squad will come to Pine Bluff Mon
day of next week. for game of foot
ball on Athletic field, against the
squad representing the. Pine Bluff
High school. y
A game for Monday, October Is,
had been scheduled originally with
Stuttgart, but Coach Bassett was
notified yesterday that because so
many of the Stuttgart players are on
the hospital list, that team was forced
to cancel. Arrangements were then
made for Fordyce to play here Oc-
tcber Is and for:.a game with Ben
ton here on the original Fordyce date,
October %. 80 o.:
During the week, the local players
have been working steadily, at signal
practice and with a daily scrimmage
Coach Bassett has been removing the
weaknesses and defects disclosed by
the recent game against Dermott, an6
he is of the opinion the local squad
will make satisfactory showing
against Fordyce, despite the fact thai
he looks for the Fordyce bunch tt
live up to their reputation of putting
up hard game. All the local regu'
ars are expected to take part in the
game against Fordyce Monday.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
ENTENTE REPLY MADE.

Washington, Oct. 12-Iidentical
memoranda from the British and
French governments, replying to the
American protest against the seizure
of neutral mails, were delivered to-
day to the state department by the
embassies here.
The text was not made public, but
the allies are understood to give re-
newed promises that every effort will
be made to minimize delay and an
noyance cause by the examination of
mail. but to insist upon certain legal
rights in regard to mails which the
United States has denied.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13

BOSTON Hoblitzel went out to
Daubert unassisted. Lewis singled
over Mowry's head. Gardner forced
Lewis Olson to Cutshaw. Ty Cobb
caught foul ball in the press box
Gardner went to second on a wild
pitch. Mowry threw out Scott. No
runs one hit no errors.
Seventh Inning.
Wheat flied to Hoop
err. Shore tossed out Cutshaw. Now
ry singled past Scott. Scott fumbled
Olson's grounder and then threw
wildly over Hoblitzel's head. Mowry
went to third, Olson to. second. Scott
threw out Meyers. No runs, one HIT
one error.
BOSTON-Cady fouled out to Now
ry. shore struck out. Cutshaw threw
out Hooper, No runs, no hits, no err
rors.
Eighth Inning.
BROOKLYN-Mer batted in
place of Pfeffer and flied to Lewis
Meyers popped to Shore, trying to
bunt. Scott threw out Daubert. No
runs, no hits, no errors.
BOSTON-Dell went into the box
for Brooklyn. Janvrin singled to
left on first ball pitched. Shorten
sacrificed, Mowry to Daubert. Hob
litzel flied to Wheat Lewis flied to
Wheat. No runs, one hit, no errors.
Ninth Inning.
OOKLYN-Stengel singled to
left. Wheat struck out! Janvrin
threw out Cutshaw. Mowry popped
to Scott. No. runs, one hit, no err
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
ADRIATIC STARTS GUT.

New York, Oct. p With lights out
the steamship Adriatic of The White
Star line, carrying 353 passengers,
New York to Liverpool, and $4,000
tons of munitions. is said to be- steal
ing south within the three-mile zone.
She is following in the wake of the
Pannamonian and Minnehaha. The
Heilig Olav of the Danish line took
an easterly course. They are the first
ships to clear for Europe since the
submarine attacks. There are four
Americans on the Adriatic's passen-
ger list AsMM8
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Mowry who dropped the ball. Scott
fouled out to Meyers. One run, one
hit, one error.

Mowry who dropped the ball. Scott
fouled out to Meyers. One run. one
hit, one error. :
Third Inning.
BROOKLYN--Pfeffer struck out.
Gardner took Myers easy roller and
threw him out. Shore took Daubert's
grounder and nailed him at first. No
runs, no hits, no errors.
BOSTON-Cady singled over Dau-
bert's head. shore fouled out to Mey-
ers, trying to bunt. Hooper walked.
Cady scored when Olson fumbled jan
wins grounder and then threw wildly
past Cutshaw. Olson got two errors
on this play Janvrin was out steal
ing Meyers to Olson. Hooper scored
on Shorten's blazing single to center.
Shorten out stealing, Meyers to OIL
son. Two runs two hits two errors.
Fourth Inning.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES sent up a
ny to Shorten. Wheat struck out.
Shore took Cutshaw's weak tan and
threw him out. No runs no hits no
errors.
RESPONSIBILITIES walked. Lewis
sacrificed Daubert to Cutshaw. Cut
shaw threw out Gardner Hoblitzel
going to third. Olson threw out
Scott. No runs no hits no errors.
Fifth Inning.
BROOKLYN-Gardne took Now
RVS smash and threw him out. Olson
flied to Shorten. Meyers got an in
field single off shores glove. 1t was
Brooklyn's first hit. Gardner threw
out Pfeffer. No runs one hit no err
rors.
BOSTON-Olson threw out Cady.
Wheat made dazzling catch of
Shores line drive Hooper singled to
right. Hooper scored on Janvrin's
two-base hit to left. Janvrin went to
third on wild pitch. Shorten struck
out. One run two hits no errors.
Sixth Inning.
BROOKLYN.Myers flied to Short
en-. Gardner took care of Daubert's
weak bounder and threw him out.
Stengel popped weakly to Scott. No
runs no hits no errors.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
INCREASE IN EXPORTS.

New Orleans, Oct 12.-An increase
of $6,552,537 in exports from New Or
leans for last September over those
for that month in 1915 was announced
by the collector of customs today.
Last months exports, totaling $19,-
435,677, were the largest on record
for September.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
ceylon a Grown Colony.

CeyIon a Grown Colony.
Ceylon is often referred to as o part
Of British India, but 4. 10 O crown col
ony by itself. with an entirely separate
administration and System OF customs
duties, posts, telographs. etc. 1t is
essentially ar agricultural country,
and its manufactures are chiefly relat-
ed to the product of agriculture.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Daily Thought

II men from their youth were
wearied of that sauntering humor.
wherein some, out Of custom, let a
good part of their life run listlessly
away, they would find time enough to
acquire skill and dexterity in hun.
dreds of things.--I.ocke.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
STEAM CAUSES DEATH.

Chicago, Oct. 12.-Three-year-old
Gerald Keeting placed his mouth over
the spout Of teapot today and in
hailed the steam. His throat and
lungs were scalded so badly that
death resulted.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Docs Are Beasts Of Burden.

Residents of Bunschoten, Holland.
make use of the little carts drawn by
dogs, which are to be seen in very.
many parts Of The Netherlands, and
have fine breed Of tall, yellow,
smooth haired dogs, which they some
times harness three abreast.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Had the Elements Of success.

Had the Elements OF success.
HE started life with shoestring
and now he has million dollars.
Seems incredible, eh?" Not at all.
I should consider that man who
could get anybody to buy one shoe
string was inevitably bound to sue
ceed"-Judge.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
After the Honeymoon.

After the Honeymoon.
Shelf I'd known you'd be such
= brute to poor Fido Is never have
married you" He--"TAs anticipated
pleasure Of kicking that miserable lit
tie beast was one Of my chief reasons
tor proposing. STRAY Stories.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
ISAAC DREYFUS CO.
Art of self.Effacement.

The art Of self-effacement may be
considered to have made a consider.
able advance when someone brings
out an autobiography without an az
in it.-Judge.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Exception In This Case.

6NSSPs'0" U" 1"Vo O~oV'
Gibbs-"So you went after the job?
/ thought you believed that the Office
should seek the man." Dibbs-'I do;
but this is fat Job, and I thought 1t
might get winded before it reached
me."-Boston Transcript. ~
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13

Prevention and Intervention.
An ounce of prevention is worth
pound Of Intervention, but it must be
used at the right time.-New York
Sun.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Lona.Lost Found.

"Ah see yo' is housecleanin'," said
Mrs. Snow White. "Yes," replied Mrs.
Marsh Green, "dey ie nothin' LAX NOV
in things round once in awhile. Why
I des come ercross a pair oh slippers
under de bed dat All hadn't seen fob
Eve yeahs. Dallas News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Daily Thouaht.

Time was when Christian used to
apologize tor being happy. But the
day has always been when he ought
to apologize for being miserable
Drummond.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
0 0 0 0 0 OIL
0 / 0 0 o x--4

SUMMARIZING hit, Sacri
off Peffer off Pet1er
nniDs.
Passed ball. Connolly
lefield Time 1:43.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13

Well! What Was lt7
Speaking of fame, what was Mullv
Pitchers husbands name?-Boston
Transcript.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13

In Iceland horses are shod with
horn.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
= 2.
OF Course Baby Cried.

MRS. Giddigad's baby cried the
other day when she wanted to take
it from nurse moment" Eyes, the
poor little dear is afraid Of strangers"
Judge.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13

Arkansas has State association Of
garlic growers.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
Sympathetic Ink.

Take some pure lime OF. lemon Juice
and write with it on paper. Then heat
the paper over an alcohol lamp and
the writing viii come out bro xn.
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13

Daily Thounht

No man is to be deemed free who
has not perfect self-commapd.-Pytha-
Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1916-10-13
REQ SOX ARE
CHAMPIONS Of
WORLD AT BASEBALL

Continued from page one.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
TALES LIKED BY STRAHCONA
Great Scotchman Highly Pleased by
Anecdotes That Dealt With the
Country of His Birth.

Lord S%tratchona was fond of stories
of his Scottish %contrymen. One that
pleased him highly 1 have heard often
repeat, says Mr.. Beckles Wilson, in
'The Life of Lord S~trathcona and
Mount Royal"
A Scot was once Boosting that
Scotch apples were far better than the
Canadian variety.
Really" exclaimed his friend, "you
can't mean that!"
81 do it," was the response;
but l must prefneese that for my
ain taste l prefer them soor and hard"
One story told of his native town
delighted him, although he professed
incredulity. The superintendent of the
Forces Sabbath school had prepared a
list of questions for the junior class:
Name the strongest man; the wisest
man; the meekest man. Only one
child, a cynical little elf she was, an
swered correctly: Samson, Solomon,
Moses. All the others wrote or print
ed opposite the queries the name of
the hero of their hearts-Lord Strath-
coma. There might be stronger and
wiser and meeker men, but the junior
1ciass not acquainted wi EN-
Youths Companion.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Wished Him Well.

John G. Zepp of the circuit court,
who is known to his friends as "Jack,"
tells me about a negro funeral Grafton
which he overheard:
THE preacher, who was wearing
the conventional silk high hat, white
vest and Prince Albert coat, didn't be-
lieve in being stingy with his bless
ings. He began by blessing the corpse,
then he blessed the ~pallbearers, the
members of the family of the dear
departed brother the mourners, the
neighbors, and everybody, in fact, he
could think of, and ended with this
eXhOrtation:
AN good Lord, be merciful and
bless Mistah Miller, the undertaken,
and may his business evan be prosper
ous.'-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Too Frequent.

Ex-Governor Colquitt said in a dis
cussion of the Texas situation:
Our opponents spoke too soon.
They took too much for granted. They
were like the young girl graduate.
"A fat, middle-aged widower took
a young girl graduates hand in his and
said, timidly:
Your mother, my dear Alice, has
given her consent, and l.
But the girl snatched her hand
away.
"tNo,' she said. TT can never be.
My respect for you is great, Mr.. Prem
dergast, and I will be a sister to YOU
"'No, you won't snapped Prender-
CAST. No, you won't either. You'll
be a daughter to me. I'm going to
marry your mother New York Trib-
une.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
SWAMP ROOT STOPS
SERIOUS BACKACHE

When your back aches, and your blad-
der and kidneys seem to be disordered, re-
member it is needless to suffer-go to your
nearest drug store and get a bottle of DR..
Kilmer's Swamp-Root. 1t is a physicians
prescription for diseases of the kidneys
and bladder.
1t has stood the test of years and has
a reputation for quickly and effectively
giving results in thousands of cases.
This prescription was used by DR.. Kill
mer in his private practice and was so
very effective that it has been placed on
sale everywhere. Get a bottle, SOC and
sl.00, at your nearest druggist.
However, if you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents to Dr..
Kilmer & Co., B~inghamton, n. Y, for a
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Druuuist's Hard Luck.

An amateur p%oultryman received a
shipment of fancy perfume atomizers
for the holiday trade.
After he had tried a few on his
friends and had arranged the stock on
the shelves he went home to say good
night to his hens and to gather what
eggs had been laid during the day.
He reached into n nest and felt
fur, which turned out to be fur of a
genuine willow pussy in the full flush
and vigor of young pussyhood.
He says he didn't mind his expert
ence in the chicken coop half so much
as he does the foolish comments of
business acquaintance who keep talk
f1g about 'faunal atomizers."
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.

William Dean HoweIIs. the novelist,
was talking about a poet.
His work is o~verrefned, overdeli-
cate, overnice," he said.
in short, his work reminds me Of
the young husband who said to his
bride, at the end of the honeymoon:
Darling, I'll have to leave you
every morning hereafter to go to bust
ness; but, to make the parting less
abrupt, I'll no longer take the s:15
express, as / used to do-TlI take the
500 slow recommendation"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Badly Wanted.

Friends of Billy Sunday, the re-
vivalist, tell a story illustrative of his
repartee.
Mr.. Sunday was in the Trenton
train n day when a man neal him
began to drink out of a bottle. Noisy,
at first, the man after three of four
drinks became quite unbearable. The
reviyalist launched at him an elo-
quent sermon on intemperanee.
At the sermons end the drinker
looked at Mr.. Sunday steadily and
said:
I'D like to give you a good punch
in the nose.'
"AIy friend" the r~evivalist answered,
charity begins at home. Never give
away what you want yourself" -
Washington Star.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Too Tolerant.

Bishop Conrad said at a dinner in
Newport News:
Some folks regard their sins in too
generous and tolerant a way. They're
like Cal Clay.
Il said to Cal one day:
Calhoun, my man, General Doug
las has positive proof that you looted
his chicken house last week. I should
think you'd be ashamed to take COM
munion after such a rascally deed as
that
"'NIah goo'ness, sah,' said Cal, re-
%proachfully. All wouldn' let a few
measly chickens stand 'twixt me an
de Lawd's table,"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
WRAcKINe AN ARTISTS SOUL.

Il understand the noted pianist you
engaged to play at your reception left
your house in a huff"
s he did" replied Mr.. Dubwaite.
Il can't imagine what was the matter
with the fellow"
Perhaps he was offended in some
way"
Nonsense! While he was resting
from his labors at the piano l thought
1t a good idea to entertain the guests
with a few ragtime selections on the
monograph. l had hardly started the
first n when he ripped out some sort
Of foreign oath, clapped his hands to
his ears and fed
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
No COMPLAINTS.

Secretary Daniels was talking about
the splendid morale of the American
navy.
Take the matter of work." he said.
1.-THE men work like Trojans. No
where does such an endless round Of
work go on as in our navy.
Il asked a boy apprentice once if
he had any complaints to make.
"No, sir the boy answered, look
ing up from his work. No, sir; no
complaints. Only it's like this, sir
they keep on making you keep on"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
The Limit.

Redd-Having spent about five
hundred thousand dollars for road i'm
provement and equipment q Swiss
company will carry passengers over
the Alps in electric automobiles.
Greene-Some disheartening, I
should say. to see those taxi-meters
climb up there.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Used MANY Deadly Weapons.

She went down into her cellar for a
what should she find coiled up on the
floor and ready to strike but a genu-
inc garter snake of fearsome aspect
and most threatening demeanor. She
killed it with no other weapon than a
mop, a hoe-handle, an old flat-iron, an
empty crock and a board from one
of the fruit shelves.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Anreeably Surprised,

=" noticed you didn't applaud when
the American flag was thrown on the
screen"
THAT was not due to a lack Of pa
triotism."
Nor"
I've heard so much lately about
Old Glory being trailed in the dust
that l was simply ~dumfounded to see
how fresh and clean it looked"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
No References.

WILTSHIRE new cook is a jewel,
dear.
Mrs. Whistles, but I'm afraid that
I must discharge her.
Willis-What's the matter?
Mrs. Willis-I'm suspicious of her.
l went to the library this afternoon
and spent three hours in the reference
room and couldn't find any of hers
Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

The old way to cure yourself of an
attack of love-" said the married man,
lis to run away"
"Why didn't you do that when you
were counting the girl you married?"
asked the old bachelor.
Il did," replied the other, "but l
made the mistake of taking the girl
with me-"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28

Nothing Relieves Tender, Aching Feet
like a hot foot bath with Johnson's Foot
Soap. Composed of Borax, Bran and
: Rdine. At Druggists or sent postpaid
for Csc by Thos. Gill Soap Co., I'll
? Kent Ave-, Brooklyn, N. Y. Adv.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
HOPELESS Case

What's that thing, doc?'
That's a medicine ball l brought
you"
Then I'm afraid there is no hope
for me-"
why not?'
Il never can swallow that."-Youngs.
town Telegram.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
A Customer Lost.

"But, madam, your account is al
ready overdrawn.'
Cant you let me have the money,
anyway"
I'm afraid not"
Il once deposited fifty dollars in this
old bank. I'll never patronize it again."
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Chance in StvIe.

Mrs. Flatbush-How do you like my
new dress?
Mr.. Flatbush-Why, is that a new
dress?
Certainly it is"
Looks like same material as your
last one"
"Oh, it's the same material, but it's
four inches shorter 2"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
UnSuited.

II don't suppose the submarine will
ever become popular with the authors
of best sellers"
Hardly. You see, for obvious rea-
sons, the opportunities for love-mak-
ing on the deck of a submarine are
limited"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Energetic P5cifist.

rs Bliggins a pacifst?"
Il should say so. He got into a fight
the other day with a man who insisted
on speaking disrespecfully of the dove
of peace"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Proof Positive.

Oyer That grocer on the corner is
a regular sandbagger.
Myer-How do you know?
Gyer-I bought a 25-pound sack of
his sugar the other day.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Thought Stimulation.

MY speech is going TO set a lot OF
people thinking" remarked the orator.
Yes" rejoined Senator Sorghum !:
but are they going to think the way
you are trying to make them think
they ought to think"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
His Lack.

1.-THE new fellow in the bookkeet-
ing department is quite an amateur
juggler.''
Don't believe it. Why, he can't
even balance an account"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
More Like II.

Pm the Cinderella of this home"
"Since we live in a fat" responded
her husband, SAY rather the Kitchen
elite, my charlottesville Courier
Jour al
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
More Trouble

Bill-A shirt with an adjustable col
lar band has been invented.
FILLMORE trouble. Here's a chance
not only to lose your collar button but
your shirtband with it.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Rural Epicures.

Customer-But isn't two dollars an
awful price for a chicken?
Dealer-Not for a suburban chicken
sir. Why, everyone of these fowls
was raised on flower seeds that cost
fifty cents per package.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Some ~Inducement.

"You know Mrs. Terror, whose hus-
band fell into the river the other day q
Intercepted Jones.
yes; a regular ~virago," said Smith.
swell, she has offered twenty
pounds reward for his body" re-
marked Jones.
"And yet she hadn't a good word
to say to him when he was alive"
aye" acquiesced Jones; but you
mustn't forget that he wore a gold
watch and chain and two diamond
rings"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-07-28
Fairy Tales.

Mrs. Bacon-King Solomon must
have been some story-teller, don't YOU
think?
MIR. Bacon-Why so?
Look at all the wives he had!