The Detroit times., 1916-03-04
Holds Up to ScOrn
Those Who Would
Convert" Hin
EVANGELIST IN
FIERY MOOD
Declares He's Going to
ChriStianize "The
Pigs"

=
adamantine nerve, 10 try 10 con
vert the Rev. Eli J. Forsythe. Like
the man who painted the lily. some
ambitious Christian is trying 20 Civ,
the Rev. Eli new road maps. and
the evangelist's about as tractablo
a bucking broncho.
The evangelist vas considera bly,
reused. Friday night and wanted
the folks who we're sending him lit.
ersture and pamphlets 10 under.
stand that they We're nuts" and
that he didn't want any OF the stun
that had made them "nutty"
Every one wasn't born TO be =
preacher. or a singer. or a player
in the band he shouted.
Then he proceeded to expound the
Forsythe theories
You used TO take a bath only in
the spring he said Then society
said IL you were a regular fellow
you took one every Saturday night.
whether you needed IL or not Then
society said you should take a bath
every morning. and some OF you
women. II society said you should
take a bath every IA minutes, would
find time somehow 10 do II. but you
can't find time 10 pray or go 10
church.
II the Lord says do anything. you
say, You poor old fathead. you're
asleep
IF you don't like some things
about this revival. we'll take
spoonful OF that medicine that you
take when society says you must do
something you'd rather not Just
swallow IL. and say nothing.
"A bunch OF you people come
around here and criticize, and you
look TO me az though YOU had the
pip. So much slang. you say. and
such singing and shouting. Well.
you poke your carcasses under the
preachers nose once week and
think your Christian It's church
ianity' not Christianity you have.
You old bulkwarts In the church
OF God, you old gszables. you don't
know any more about voting than a
cat knows about its grandfather. II
you had voted As you prayed you
could have had the devil IN the hos.
pital long ago
You can't all be preachers tthank
Cod,D or singers or players in the
band but you can all shine for God
You folks go around with an old
talIov dip in your hand, and don't
even know that it's out when you
ought to be an arc light IN 10 king.
dom OF God.
"As a theory. Christianity is the
biggest joke the world has ever
known. Your business here Is TO
glorify god"
It's the evangelist's theory that
when Christ said. "Ye are the sal,
OF the earth: but II the salt have
lost his SAVIOUR wberewith shall IL
be salted? II Is henceforth good
for nothing. but TO be cast out and
10 be trodden under the foot" thal
he spoke OF salt as a preservatiye
and meant 10 infer that Christian
ity prevented the growth OF the bac-
terra OF sin and that once the salt
had lost its SAVIOUR, the world va.
lost TO sin. The Rev. Forsythc Dc
clared that he bad come 10 rub salt
into tho pigs Of Highland Park
and a lot OF folks were sore" b.
cause he insteod OF they were do
ing IL.
~ battle for The heavyweight
championship Il no more excitin'
than the evangelist's brand OF Chris
tIonity. The Lord and the devi
strain and scufhe back and fortl
across the ring and little boys III
up on the edge OF the pine seat
I and hold their breath, and excitabl'
women gigg'e In the wrong place
and blus hafterward"
Friday was Methodist night. an
a big aggregation from the Trinit!
Methodist church came in bod
behind a band playing Onward
Christian Soldiers" The Gentleman.
Methodist from West Detroit cam'
over about 200 strong for the sci
vice. with the West End band.
Everyone sang and the hymn
were whistled. and Mother F's girl
marched In and later gave shril
feminine locomotive Whistles 70
Mother y. Everybody olspped every
one else. and there wasn't the tinIes