The Washington herald., 1916-07-31
Marriage Today and Tomorrow.

Marriage Today and Tomorrow.
BY JOHN d. BARRY.
In Europe l am constantly reminded that
marriage as an institution is under arraignment
The references to it are bolder and more scorn-
ful than those heard among the American radi-
calls. THE war is doing one good thing in
breaking down that hideous institution" re-
Gently heard bitter opponent of marriage re-
mark, as we were hearing stories of the extra
ordinary laxness regarding the relation of the
sexes in several of the belligerent countries, some
of the stories almost too shocking to be allowed
into print even in these days when almost any
subject is discussed with freedom
As I listened to this kind Of talk re-
minded of old couple among my friends at
home and / wondered what they would think if
they had been present. They would have been
imagine, less shocked than grieved. They
would have felt that the people who held those
ideas had missed the knowledge of something
very wonderful in life, the knowledge that a
woman and a could live together hus-
band and wife in a harmony and peace that
grew richer and finer with the passing of the
years.
Sometime ago I met lady, still fairly
talked of her matrimonial experience with a
frankness not wholly free from pride and touch
ed with whimsical humor "Im convinced
that all men virtually alike" she said, "and
that being married to is much the as
being married to another. No matter who it is
that you are married to the same old problems
come up l sometimes think that l should have
saved myself whole lot of unnecessary trouble
if had gone on living with my first husband"
In these words there is sound philosophy
even if there is not literal truth. The problems
Of marriage are much the in all marriages,
but they are easier to meet when the marriage
is founded on basis of genuine sympathy in
temperament where of the two is con-
siderate wise both. Many a man and
woman who have failed miserably with one mate
have been highly successful with another.
The theories relating to marriage are
extremely interesting even if they do not always
carry conviction. 1t must be admitted that
most of those who rebel against it an inst-
tuition and oppose it in their action do not make
an impressive record. Often their behavior
seems like self-indulgence; sometimes it is
whimsicality, taking away all the sacredness in
the relation Of the sexes. The fact remains
however, that many people marry who are unfit
to marry, morally and spiritually unfit, who have
not been trained to develop the kind character
necessary to make their marrying a success.
Blame repeatedly falls on the institution where
the individuals only are to blame.
One theory that I have lately heard is ex.
tremely idealistic. It has developed out of the
concern for children which Ellen Key and other
writers have been celebrating for the past few
years. 1t prophecies that as a result of this
concern, bound to increase with the growing
appreciation of the dignity and worth of life,
only the comparatively few shall be allowed to
become parents. They shall be chosen at birth
and the others at birth shall be sterilized and
shall live in the human family as brother and
sister, free from the fevers and the complica-
tions of sex and able to devote themselves
wholly to other interests 1t is safe to predict
that it will be many years before this idea is
likely to attain wide popularity And yet it is
directly related to these criticisms of marriage
that may ultimately create moral revolution in
the world. 1t is example of many extreme
ideas that bound to be presented during the
next quarter of century, which promises to be
so wonderful time that all of US ought to take
special care of ourselves in order to be able to
see what is going
Meanwhile marriage goes on. There are
many married people who aren't even aware that
the institution is in danger. "Its discipline
this marriage business" says friend, "but it's
been worth while" Needless to say, the speaker
is man. "You don't hear any complaining
around here" says another, woman with large
family who has always been poor. Somehow
her trials have not kept her from being happy
What is the explanation? May it not be the
one which gives the solution of many a phenom-
enon in life, that what is important is not what
we expect to get out of experience but what
we give to 1t and express through its aid?
whenever marriage is failure we may be sure
that bad forces are operating Where good
forces are operating it is almost inevitably a
success.