Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1916-02-26
For THE PALIsADIAN :

like der poy going through der dark
woods by der nighttime, und Ellawho
he wants to bitch in in aloud two
minnids und vip der Chermans, den
durn roundt und vollop der Mexican
greasers pefore breakfast.
Now, l dell you dot i'd ISIS nod
necessary always to pc peacefulness,
und dere aind no sense in going
around nit your shoulder full of
chips vaiding fer der udder Teller to
knock i'd off. Vat der dickerson We
need to pother aloud var ISIS none of
my pissness. Nopody is poaching on
our preserves, und l tink Uncle Sam
can go on mid his knittin' like hiss
grand mutter. Ellawho und Teddy
Rosenfelt is anxiousness dot We dit
nod interfere in de Pelgiuim madden.
Ply chemineddy vunce! l gannod see
Wy We should hat did i'd.
1 am Wiling to admid dot America
ISIS der most important nation dere
ISIS in der world, but in diss respect
We would pc disputed by Chermany
und England at the same dime by
both. Confdentially, We ISIS der pig
gest coundry in der world, bud We
must keep der secret py ourselfs.
Dere is always gread satisfaction
aboud knowing someding you ISIS,
vich is der odder feller's pissness not.
Now, dey say We couldn't puild oop
a navy as pig as der British. Wy
couldn't We? ISIS We got no confiden
tials in our own porders? ISIS We god
do dell der world every dime We dit
anything? My bolicy would pc to
puild two pattle ships vile We is dalk-
ing aloud only vun. In diss way We
could suprisal der British. If dey
ged doc smard und shood off DER up
per lip doc mooch, We could let EN-
schlip in py der ocean dinkin' dey
would catch US nappin', ven, py hen!
ven dey god here dey would find us
sleepin' nit vun eye open.
Der trouble ISIS dot if We want more
paddle shibs und don't want to get
caught in der act, We will hat to puild
a vail around some blaze near der
ocean und say, keep oud! dis ISIS
der blaze fer der confidential gofer-
ment to keep ids private secreds." In
diss way We could puild all der paddle
shibs in der world und i'd wouldn't
pother nopody till somepody bothered
us, und den We could come oud und
face der enemy mid more confidence
und ammunition dan Carter had oats.
Dots der secret Of knowing der coun-
dry's own pissiness und tending do it
himself.
Now, gift Villum Bryan credit for
peing q great commoner nit der
beeple. 3aa ~ MI he wears a SLOUGH
hat, he ISIS always calling for der pest
surloin steak in der r-r-restaurants.
He ISIS democrat in hiss head, bud
nod in his stomach. He ISIS aloud der
most hifalutin aristocrad der coun-
dry hass ad ids own expense to-day.
He bass palace at Lincoln, Nebral-
aska, mansion in Washington, und
grape vine fruit farm in Florida. Vat
more did he want? He wants beace
because he bass so many tings der
enemy might bust oop. Villum ISIS
bum soldier because he bass too mooch
appetite on der side.
AS for Ellawho Root, he is der
aristocrat of der nation, und shoots
off his head every dime he opens his
mouth. He has lifed all his life
talking aboud der odder Teller any
how, so vat he says aloud lickin'
Chermany ISIS like yum of his speeches
in a hangin' case: "He is nod guilty
because l hat been paid to say he is
nod, und you cannot get away mid
my eloquence way of saying i'd
Chentlemen of der chury, der brison-
er ad der par is nod guilty vedder he
iss or nod"
Dots yum way of gedding der YER
dict; und you must ,ruff1e oop your
haid, look dramadicals ad der mouth,
odderwise your client goes to der
chair. Bud he ISIS nod going to con-
vict Wilson dot way. Der beeples
will stand py Woodrow ven he
is r-r-right, und Ellawho will nod get
mooch satisfaction py drying to hang
him before der verdict is rendered.