New-York tribune., 1916-11-26
Sweepings from Ink
Pot Alley
Continued from Page -Four

Charles whitley. who went back utter
w disgusted with our language, which
he denounced with great emphasis. lie
particularly objected to our use OF the
words proposition, operate, cinch and
Communication.
Then there was the recent truly har'
rowing experience of Cecil Chesterton
II Philadelphia. Mr.. Chesterton want
ed 10 mail a letter. so he asked Phila'
delphian to direct him to the postotiIce.
con the next square the Quaker d.
rected him. SO Mr.. ChestertOn walked
and walked and walked. but ne never
came to a square, because in his mind
square was a little park, and in civil
ized country it could not be anything
else. Mr.. Chesterton was so Indignant
that he sailed for London on the
next boat (probably still clutching his
letter. and wrote a sarcastic piece about
MS in an English magazine.
Both II. G.. Wells and Arnold Bennett
have visited the United States, but APP
parently their visits did not destroy
their illusions about the traditional
American language. In "Mr. Britlng
Sees IT Through" Mr.. Wells has his
somewhat invertebrate character, MIR.
Direck, demonstrate his Americanism
bv calculating "My wordw at all times
and occasions. Mr.. Direck also "reckons" )"
and "guesses" rather carelessly. In fact,
il is the first duty of these fictioral
Americans to reckon long and persist
emily. Il only reckon to know Amer
lea" saws famous American theatrical
manager in Mr.. Benefits "The Old
Adam" when asked for advice about a
dramatic production in London.
Bernard Shaw, in Captain Brass
bounds Conversion" puts some fearful
and wonderful language on the tongue
Tor perhaps, one should say in the nose)
of the captain of the American warship
Santiago" Il cawnsider," says the
Yankee officer, that you have more
sense in your wedding ring finger than
the British Admiralty has in its whole
cawnstitootion, Lady Waynefete." He
also speaks of human fawlly" folly)
and mountain fahstnesses" and hold
ing some one "respawnsible."
But for the real thing, we have to
turn to Mr.. Galsworthy and Mr.. Ches-
terton. In 'The Little Man" Mr. Gals
worthy introduces an American who
evidently escaped from an insane
asylum. "In my country" he says,
we're vurTy democratic-but that's
quite a proposition" Later expressing
sympathy with some one, he remarks:
81 guess Providence has played it pretty
low down on you. judge it's acted real
mean" He refers to the measles as "a
vurry important pestilence" and speaks
of "Gawd's airth."
Much the same sort of person is Or.
Cyrus Pym, famous American crimi-
nologist," in Mr.. Chesterton's Mana
live DR.. Pym is "real moved" at a
murder, and he expresses astonishmcnt
by calculating "Sakes alivew Being a
New Yorker, of course. he prefaces
most of his sentences with character
istic oval"
There is one very curious thing about
Americans of this genus. They are
never to be found in America. You
don't run across them in the subway Or
in your neighbor's house, or in Maine
or Montana or Texas. Evidently they
spend all their time abroad and asso-
ciate with English novelists exclusively.
They are really a race by themselves,
mysterious and elusive. They are not
related to us, but it is possible that they
are first cousins of the typical Ameri-
can stage Englishman.
We've all had many good laugh over
the Englishman of American comedy.
What a scream he is! So ridiculously
English. He is always tumbling over
his own feet, or poking into corners with
cane or umbrella, and exclaiming in
amazed falSetto: "Oh, theah you are