davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
JAYMAW WMER JOTS

AS the Minneapolis Better Way says:
Tis a wise man who knows how big a
fool ne is
The hens seem to have gone on a
strike, says the Toronto Republican,
and neither legislation nor arbitration
can adjust matters.
Wonderful stories are to be found in
the want ads, says the Sedgwick
Paragraph, and it quotes: For sale
one good young Jersey COW giving
two gallons of milk and some furni-
ture.''
1t makes Ham Berger awful mad,
says the Olathe Register, if anybody
accuses him of having a stewed maca-
roni backbone. But he went into a
clothing store the other day, with the
firm intention of buying a $40 suit.
Before he escaped, the gentlemanly
and urbane salesman had unloaded on
him S35 layout and an overcoat. And
eggs worth 40 cents dozen!
A story that sounds like new to the
Sabetha Herald: Mrs. Clint Eisen-
bise brought it out from Chicago with
her. A baseball fan took his little
girl often to games with him. One
time he took her to prayer meeting.
The preacher prayed long and earnest
ly. A good old deacon interpolated
the prayer frequently by shouting,
"Amen, Amen" Father" said the lit
tie girl, who's that roofing for the
preacher"
Where are the mothers? asks the
Atchison Globe, and it goes on: Every
paper you pick up has a column of
inquiries from young women asking
for advice in their love affairs, how
to maye their dresses, what is good for
their complexions, what attentions to
accept from young men, etc. The
mothers know more about such af-
fairs than editors. Why do not the
girls go to them for advice? A mother
is the only person on earth who will
advise a girl regardless of self-interest.
Something is wrong when she asks
such advice from a stranger and a
man.
Sometimes when we hear a present
day woman complain that she has not
time for anything, we wonder, says
the Mankato Western Advocate, what
she would do if she were obliged to
handle for month the work her
grandmother did regularly. In the
days of her grandmother the woman
of q household had to make all the
clothes for the entire family, under
wear and all, and knit the hose and
mittens. She had to do her sewing
by hand, had to spin her own yarn,
had to make her own candles and her
own soap; made the family sausage
and dried the fruit for home use She
couldn't buy bread and cakes at the
bakery, canned fruit and prepared
foods at the grocery. Grandmother
was really busy woman.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
PLAIN COMMON SENSE.

Dog fanciers have long noted that
when a house-dog begins to get fat
and wheezy it is pretty apt to be at
bulletin issued by the United States
public health service. In such a case
they cut down the diet and increase
the open air exercise, thus relieving
the over-burdened body of poisonous
substances.
The sin of gluttony is common and
therefore much condoned, but like
every other violation of natures laws
has a penalty. Fat inefficiency, slug
gish mentality, the Redeemed nose. the
pimpled face, certain of the chronic
skin eruptions, and much fatigue and
nervousness are due to the abuse of
the digestive apparatus. Rich, indi-
gestible foods in large quantities,
highly seasoned to stimulate the jad-
ed palate, are forced into a body al
ready rebellious from repletion. Ex-
ercise is largely limited to walking to
and from the table and bodily deteri-
Grafton proceeds rapidly. Many an
overfed dyspeptic, suddenly dragged
by the stern hand of circumstances
from a life of physical ease and plenty
and forced to work out of doors sud
denly discovers that his semi-inval-
idism has gone. that a chronic skin
arrangement of many years standing
has disappeared and that a new vigor
and zest of life has been given him
Not everyone can spend his whole
amount of exercise and plain whole
some food in an amount not exceed
ing the body's needs can be had by
almost everyone. Simple moderate
diet and exercise make for health.
These are not faddish food theories:
they are just plain common sense.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
BED TIME TALES
But A TURKEY HAS NO TEETH.
BY CLARA INGRAM JUDSON

.Oh, Mr.. Turkey cried Toppy as
soon as he came within hearing of the
lot where the turkey was, Good newsi
Good newsl 1 know how you can get
OUT"
..See," replied Mr.. Turkey without
the least bit of surprise, Il knew some
body would help me. What shall be
done?"
Toppy came close to the fence and
then he said, "All you have to do is
with-isn't that easy? Then you're
free,"
"Humph," grumbled Mr.. Turkey,
"Humph," Just that way. And Toppy
knew in a minute something was
wrong. Il guess you forget 1 haven't
any teeth-how am 1 going to gnaw2
l thought you could think of some
thing better than that" And Mr.. Tur-
key turned his offended head and
walked Off.
You can just imagine how Toppy
felt then, He didn't like to say that
the poor advice wasn't his. because
that would be admitting that he hadn't
been able to think of anything by him.
self And he certainly didn't feel very
proud to think he had not realized
how useless the advice was Maybe
Foxy was only joking him when he
suggested that Mr.. Turkey gnaw the
rope. Maybe Foxy was laughing at him
that very minute. Maybe-oh, dear,
what a lot of maybes there are when
one once gets started thinking them.
There is only one thing person in
a fix like that can do-and Toppy did
that He turned and ran off home
without a word. No more offering ad
vice for him-at least not for a while.
No sooner was he out of sight than
Mr.. Turkey heard a sound at the back
of his tiny yard. He looked to see if
help was coming, and who do you sup
pose he saw, perched on that high
back fence? Mr.. Jim Crow,
"Well,' said Mr.. Turkey (and he
spoke rather sharply. for being PEN
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
LOWER HAULING COSTS.

One of the extents to which good
roads pay is shown by the fact that
the improvement of roads in eight Sc
lected counties in different sections of
the United States resulted, in the ag-
gregate, in a total gross annual saw
ing in hauling cost of $627,409, ac-
cording to recent economic studies by
the office of public roads and rural
engineering of the federal department
of agriculture. The cost of hauling
for the group of counties is lower since
the roads were improved, it was found,
even when charges are made in the
comparative computations for interest
on bonds and annual maintenance
costs. The results of the studies ex-
tended from 1909 to 1915.
The eight counties in which the
studies were made are Spotsylvania.
Dinwiddie, Lee and Wise counties, Vir-
ginia; Franklin county, Mississippi,
and Manatee county, Florida. These
counties were selected because they
had just issued bonds for road i'm
provement when it was decided to
make the studies, and it would there
AOAO NC PO9SADAO W SONSA l4c AOdO lii
provements from outset to compile
ton.
The average gross annual saving in
hauling costs due to the road improve
ments in these eight counties was
found to be 17.9 cents per ton-miie
while the net saving was found to be
11.6 cents. The investigators point out
in the bulletin that an actual cash
saving to the amount indicated is not
effected, but that this is the indicated
saving when the time of workers and
use of draft animals and equipment
are given cash values at the rates pre-
vailing in the several communities.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

Someone with the where, the where
svithaI. and the whoop-that Is 10 say
a hundred or two acres of land In the
Black Hills, a pocketful of change
and a heart surging with enthusiasm
and benevolence - has proposed the
Founding of a home for INDECENT news
paper men. This is a step quite In the
right direction but It is to be regretted
that more of the publishers OF the
strenuous old school who were cursed
at and shot at and kicked at could not
be allowed to spend the latter part OF
their lives in serenity and peace.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
GLOBE SIGHTS


[From the Atchison Globe
The school of hard knocks is on the
highest hill
Many take music lessons. but only
a few learn music.
A man who doesn't care for ex-
penses, isn't paying them.
The limit of human endurance is
a mountain so high that few climb it,
In most communities the cemeteries
seem to be the favorite stopping
places.
If the accused goes free on a tech
nicality, he is apt to regard it as a
vindication.
Sympathy has to have financial
backing if it is to be of much benefit
to the poor.
Your salary is what you are ex-
pected to be worth and not necessar-
lily what you earn.
You shouldn't be unreasonable, and
expect a messenger boy to be in a
hurry just because you are.
Undertakers are mostly cheerful
citizens. but they can't help much in
Frightening up the sick room.
A man doesn't care much for a
flower in his coat lapel unless the
right woman pinned it there.
A woman may be as old as she
looks. but certainly not as old as she
sometimes looks in the morning
There being two or more sides to
every question, it is possible some
very smart men don't agree with you.
Some men who are reasonably IN
dustrious in the employ of others, be-
come loafers when they start in busi-
ness for themselves
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
The Table.

Pineapple Salad-One can pineap-
pies. one-half dozen oranges, one-half
dozen bananas, all cut in small
pieces: sprinkle with one cup sugar,
let stand four hours. Just before
serving pour all the juice off. Then
add two cups of marshmallows cut
fine. Serve on lettuce leaf. Nuts can
be used also. Serves about a dozen
people.
Good Inexpensive Cookies-Recipes
like this one are especially welcome
with butter and eggs so high: One
cup sour cream, one cup sugar, one
egg. one teaspoon soda. flour enough
to roll.
Pumpkin Cake-One cup sugar, but
ter size walnut, one-half cup pumpkin,
one cup sweet milk, two rounding
teaspoons baking powder, one-half
teaspoon cinnamon, one-fourth tea
spoon ginger, sifted with two cups
flour. Salt we'll. Dredge one-half
cup each of raisins and nuts in flour,
and stir in.
In a sauce pan put one tablespoon
butter, let it melt, add one tablespoon
flour and mix. Do not brown. Season
with salt and pepper. Add one cup
of vinegar and water (equal parts of
each). Stir until it boils and is
smooth. Then add one tablespoon
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

asked a colleague one DAY. he seems
a perfect fool"
well" caid the other, the fact is,
he is one OF the most useful clerks l
have. Before I issue an order I always
have him read it. If he can tell what
It means 1 am sure that there can be
no chance that anyone will misunde2-
stand it."
"Does your minister practice what
he preaches?" the newcomer ques-
toned.
sHe does" the citizen answered with
a sigh, land I'd be perfectly willing to
have him stop. He lives next door to
me. and begins at O'Clock SUNDAY
morning to practice what he is going
to preach"
Tn one of his early sermons the new
army chaplain lamented the fact that
many men spent their evenings at the
clrb 1.-THE club" he said, 'is place
for bachelors. It is not right for a
married man to pass the evening away
from home while his poor wife sadly
rocks the cradle with one foot and
wipes away the tears with the other
At the age of sixteen Alice Jones
wrought poetic changes in her name
She signed herself E Alysse Jones'
Thus designated she entered a new
school. The head mistress asked her
name.
"Alysse JONES' she replied.
..A-l-y-s-s-e."
Thank you," said the teacher. And
how are you spelling Jones now?"
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
SIDE 7 ALM S
Charge 1t.
BY RUTH CAMERON.

Charge 1t.
Do you have any charge accounts ?
can just imagine the Mortified look
on the faces of some of my readers
as they mentally answer. MOI"
And 1 know just how they feel A
charge account ought not to make
one extrava CANT. 1t costs no less to
pay for things a month later than
when you buy them.
But somehow it is apt to make one
a little less watchful about money.
unless one is very strongminded.
L once protested that 1 could be i'm
pervious to the dangerous influence of
Charge it," but at the end of a year
I realized that 1 had several things
have thought if I had had to take
the actual money out of my purse
instead of saying Charge it,"
How unfortunate it is that most of
US. even my Mortified reader friends
who are so sure they never would,
must, willy nilly. carry one very big,
very important charge account.
1 refer to the charge account in
health which we all carry with Dame
Nature.
boasted of her wonderful digestion
and laughed at the ordinary precau-
tions which most people take.
She ate her meals any old time.
She thought nothing OF taking A
bath directly after eating.
She frequently bolted down a meal
and ran for a train.
And when people said this or that
was bad for her she said, Nonsense
I've never had a bit Of indigestion in
my life
About a year ago this woman began
to suffer from indigestion. 1t grew
steadily worse Ordinary remedies did
it no good. Last week she went to
a sanitarium.
You see, she is paying a long, long
charge account with Dame Nature
If each indiscretion had been paid
for at the time, there would have
been fewer. But she charged them
and now she finds the account an en-
barrassing one.
People who live on their nerves are
running up long accounts in the same
way.
People with delicate health do
have to pay for their indiscretions at
once, and I think that is why they
often outlive strong. healthy folks.
When you take a vacation, when
you relax, when you let up on your
self, you are paying something on
account. And remember. Nature is
always a more lenient creditor to
those who show their good inten-
tions in this way.-(Copyright by
George NJ. Matthew Adams-)
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
GRAIN PRODUCTION.

The possibilities are that, while the
war will leave the countries as a whole
deeply burdened by debt, individuals,
and especially the agricultural popula-
ton will demand a higher scale of liv-
ing than ever before as an accompani-
ment to the higher wages that post
bellum conditions are likely to bring
about, writes Hugh J. Hughes, in the
American Review of Reviews for No
vember in an article entitled ''Agricul-
ture After the War" At the same
time the shortage of both horse and
man power will in all probability be
reflected in a lessened production of
the more intensely cultivated crops
and an increased production in grain
crops. Consequently from the stand
point of those nations which are now
importing a large part of their food
supplies. the indications are that there
will be an increased import demand
for livestock accompanied by de-
creased import demand for the cereal
products of the farm.
The situation thruout the rest of the
world outside of the United States
leads to the same conclusion. Canada
is training every nerve to put addi-
tional acres Under the plow; her prog
ress in this direction being limited only
by the shortage of man and team
power. Her production OF wheat can
be increased almost indefinitely, ana
the cost of producing this wheat. ow-
ing to the cheap price of Canadian
lands is rnateria1Iv less than If is II,
the United States. A somewhat SINH
lar situation exists in the Argentine
There are in the South American re-
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

The Reverend Festus Foster has at
least kept Kansas motion picture CEN
sorship on the map, regardless of the
sentiment he has aided in creating.
Recently a number of Topeka club
women referred to the minister-censor
as fostering Foster. But it was a
Kansas City newspaper, which recent
ly published a news story concern
ing the Kansas censorship and men.
toned the name of Festus Poster as
chief censor.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

"Humphi" retorted Mr.. Turkey,
suppose you tell me how?"
Fly out" squawked the crow. and
with a throaty chuckle he flew away.
Fly over that fence, indeed" snort
ed Mr.. Turkey GROSSLY, as he measured
with his eye that high back fence,
these folks must think 1 can do
everything that every creature can do,
Gnaw, indeed, Fly over a high fence,
indeed!" And he was so provoked
that he failed to look and see whether
or not all the fences were as high as
the back. and that was another mis-
-(Copyright-Clara Ingram Jnd-
son.1
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
HOUSEHOLD HINTS

By BRINKERHOFF.

Take twelve sweet green peppers,
twelve sweet red peppers. fifteen
large onions, two stalks celery, one
quart cider vinegar, three tablespoons
salt. cents worth mustard seed, one
and one-half pounds sugar.
Wash peppers and remove all seeds.
Put thru food chopper, add chopped
onions. Pour boiling wafer over all
for ten minutes and drain. Add chop
ped celery.
Pour cold water over all and let
come to a boil. Drain again.
Take vinegar. salt, sugar and mus
tard seed; let boil Pour over vege-
tables. let boil again and seal.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
DINNER STORIES

An inspector one day visited a coun-
try school.
Now, children, 1 wish you to take
notice of what 1 do and then write an
account of it, Then he stepped to the
blackboard ard wrote:
81 love a good school"
All the children wrote in effect that
the inspector came into the school and
wrote on the blackboard. One little
girl, however. following instructions to
the letter by adding:
And then he went to the platform,
sat down, played with his watch chain,
twirled his mustache and winked ut
the lady teacher"
She had two hoys. The mother
wished not only to give them a seri-
Gus idea of her desire to make them
good, but also to make clear to their
minds the gravity of the task before
her. At the end of a particularly
touching adjuration five-year-old
Francis was suddenly overcome with
the impossibility of ever attaining mis-
mothers ideal.
Don't try to make us good. moth
er." he said earnestly. Just shoot
u.s."
Among the clerks in the office of
one of the cabinet members at Wash
ington is a very dull young man woo
seems never to be able to do any
thing without making mistakes.
why do you keep that fellow ?"
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
JOURNAL ENTRIES

is obvious.
x x X
No man realizes just how insignifi-
cant he is until he gets into a big
crowd.
Many people are sorely handicapped
by not realizing the extent of their
ignorance.
x ): :.
Too many folk are content to win
victories without regard to the meth
DDS they employ.
x y X
The man who has the reputation for
drinking like a fish doesn't drink
the same stuff the fishes do.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
VIII. DOES 1T MATTER.

What does it matter that the time must
come
When all my petals shall be blown away.
Leaving a brittle stalk where wild bees
hum
And WOO the living flowers all the day?
too have tremb1ed to the kiss they
brought,
Was wooed and knew the sunlight and
the dew,
too have trembied to the living thought,
Have bent and swayed the teeming sum
mer through:
These have been mine unto the uttermost.
And peradventure shall be mine again:
When some new shell becomes my spirit S
host,
Life, beautiful as this shall fill me then,
And strange new thoughts may grace an
other spring,
Making existence seem a deeper thing.
-Amory Hare, in the November Atlantic.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Teaching the Young T. Bara How to
Xamn.

Fig shows vampire correctly reg
istering hatred of someone's wife.
Also bitter cruelty and fierce defiance.
Fig. shows vamp wickedly elated
at success of poisoned tooth-paste
urged upon rich old husband. Also
alarm at enemy's suspicious and en-
nui occasioned by few deaths in last
two reels.
Fig 8. Remorse upon hearing sa-
cred music Darling we are growing
old" Also obduracy to poor old
mothers pleas and scorn of little
match girl.
Practice them all very carefully, es
pecially Fig. q One hour day
should be ample.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
ON SPUR OF
THE MOMENT
BY ROY K. MOULTON.

A Kindly Soul
Oh, would cheer my fellow-man
And though I'm not a D D.,
1 hope to aid whene'er l can
And help the poor and needy.
The halt and lame may run to me
For cheer to light their features;
The blind in me / hope will see
The kindliest of creatures.
The deaf I'll never fail to call
And lecture though it fell me;
I'll listen patiently to all
The woes the dumb shall tell me.
By doing all these little things
With Joy and love and laughter,
L hope to wear a pair of wings
And play a harp hereafter
Teaching the Young T. Bara How to
Vamp.
"How can young girl with tai Mt
and ambition learn to be a good mov-
ing picture vampire?" is a question
one often hears. Very simple.
We have here some free-hand
sketches. Regard:
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

Now that the Kansas Natural Gas
receivership seems to have been dis
posed of, there is small offering of
even money that Joseph L. Bristow
and the public utilities commission
will within the next eighteen months
announce a decision in the passenger
rate case. The United States sena-
torial primaries will not be held until
August, 1918.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02
Handsome Is as Handsome Docs.


A homely cuss is Henry Hose. his
face it is not fair to see; he wears
wen upon his nose, oh, he is homely
as can be; and yet : find if L am
seized with fits of gloom. if dull and
blue, I'm always more than greatly
pleased when Hen comes ambling into
view.
Hens face, tho sraceless and un-
couth, less lovely than the lonely star.
yet it is oft, to tell the truth, more
fair than fairer faces are. Have I not
seen this Henry Hose meet some poor
weak and pallid gink and say to him.
$50 help me. Nose. you're getting
rather fat, l think. 1 never saw you
quite so hale; you're looking young
er every day" He tells him then
comic tale. The old man hobbies on
his way But now upon his wrinkled
brow there shines a radiance of
cheer; his step is brisk, he smokers
now, I'm gittin' younger every yeari'
Such are the deeds of homely Hen
and worthy ones they are, say I; he
may not be beaut but then he is the
cheering little guy
Had | to choose cf outward grace.
a valiant brow, heroic nose; could I
select another face, I'd fain resemble
Henry Hose. I'd pass among the
world of men and scatter cheer and
as homely Hen has done-and may
his tribe increaser
More Purplecowing.
| never fried pound of steak,
1 never hope to fry one:
But at these prices-goodness sake,
I'd rather fry than buy one.
I never bought a bear a beer.
(This is rather neat OneD
But l can tell you this. my dear,
I'd rather treat than meet one.
I ne-er sold a Lin m-ber-ger,
| never hope to sell one:
But l would really MUCH prefer
To sell, you know, than smell one.
A Man worth doing at all is worth
doing we'll.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

The saving habit appears to be MAX
ing rapid headway in the United
States. The number of Christmas
club depositors has quadrupled since
last year and it is estimated that $SO'-
OO0. 900 will be distributed among
nearly 100000 persons.
The Topeka state journal., 1916-12-02

England has taken over the coal
mines of the country. This is meth
od of handling the shortage and the
price problem that probably would
commend itself to the people of any
nation