davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
PATRONS HERO woRsHIPERs

From the Kansas City Star.
At the close of every opera season In
Kansas City patrons ask: why are the
threadbare operas always given? Why
so much Trovatore and Rigoletto and
SO little Wolf Farrari, Debussy and even
Wagner A man prominently identified
with the Ellis Opera company this week
explained it. after a fashion, in a chat
with a group of newspaper men. Most
people regard opera as an expensive
luxurious experiment, and mean to get
tho most from it, he said. Despite
the known beauties of the score, the chief
interest is in the stars. Unless the ia
nous performers are properly shown
off, the patrons are disappointed. The
new operas conform to the lines of music
drama better than the old. but they don't
show off the stars. The people are hero
worshippers, and the old operas with the
set arias give them the best chance to
worship. And then, 100, regarding Wag-
ner, and others, the performance is
likely to be tiresome to those not UP to
intricacies of the text, the score, and the
orchestration. Why in the 'Nibelang'
ence Whitehall comes out all by himself,
sits down on a rock and sings for As min
utes. I got tired and sneaked out. When
1 came back he hadn't moved, and was
still singing. There Is nothing very at
tractive about that to the tired business
man, who has had shows written espe-
cially for him, but who still buys the
boxes for the opera season." There, now
do you understand?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11

being cleaned from the skeleton and solo
for Just this human food. If hot dog
sounds like something unfit for food, It's
character sustains Its name.
We imagine this note of warning Is
from DIR. Francis II. Rowley, the pres
ident of the Massachusetts Society TOT
the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
We trust that under the national pure
food laws the experiences the doctor tells
OF cannot be repeated. We have never
heard of hot dog disagreeing with
anybody, unless 1t gave them a case OF
indigestion. And this may have been
caused by the mustard and the pepper
and the kraut and the numerous otner
things that go to make up hot dog
when it gets into its mysterious con-
tents the things that go to make one all
the way"
The fall fair season IS on In Georgia
right now, and we believe the quick lunch
provided by the steaming weinie and the
elongated roll will lose none of its popu-
larity because of the suspicion OF this
Massachusetts physician.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
sCHOOLBOYs DE LUKE

From the New York Telegram.
Gone are the good. old days when the
schoolboy. released from classes at the
close of the afternoon session, ran shout
ing joyously into the street. snatching off
his chum's cap, pulling the pigtalls of the
little girls, stopping for game of hop
scotch at the nearest corner. a game Of
cat" in the middle of the road. or a nine
inning session of baseball in the first va
cant lot. diversions which consumed
hours and landed the youth home about
the time the rest of the family had fin
ished the evening meal. Gone, all gone,
the old family PAGES.
At least, the president of the Chicago
board Of education declares that the
modern schoolboy wears wrist watch
and that an automobile with liveried
chauffeur awaits him at the achoolhouse
door when the days stud. ~ re over.
Possibly the board presto an, Is mistak-
ing a few cases for whole situation.
Possibly there are one or two schoolboys
who still go home from school on their
own feet.
There is hope. The news reports of a
shnrtage of gasoline may make it neces-
sary for the schoolboy de luxe to walk
or take a street car.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11

From the Christian Science Monitor.
RH1N OoRRACK' is a word that was
TX adopted into the political vo-
SS cabulary of the United States
in the last decade Of the first half of the
nineteenth century. With "gerryman-
DER" which came into use earlier, and
BOOM" which was invented later, 1t has
long held a secure place in the dictionary.
.Roorback" Is defined as fictitious re-
port intended to influence an election.
Generally speaking. it takes the form OF
sensational and malicious story. usuaiiS
called an exposure" calculated to IN
spire the public with distrust OF a pres
idential candidate on the eve OF electlon'
The "roorback" supposed to be the mosl
effective is one that is sprung" too late
to be contradicted and disproved In all
parts of the country before the ballots
are cast.
lanes Knox Polk Of Tennessee, VINO
became the eleventh President OF the
United States, was regarded as an az
cident. His ancestors. who bore the name
of Pollock. emigrated from ireland u
America In the early part OF the eight
eenth century. and settled In Nortn
Carolina The father Of the future Pres
ident was farmer in humble circum-
stances, but he managed to get his son
through the state university. AFTER
graduation the young man studied law
with Felix Grundy Of Tennessee, an emil
nent lawyer and statesman, whose name
ia perpetuated in the nomenclature OF
towns and counties throughout the south
and west. Soon after his admission to
the bar, young Polk was elected to the
Tennessee legislature, from which he was
promoted to Congress, where he served
seven terms. Then he was elected gov
ernor of Tennessee. He had become
vigorous advocate of a policy of expan-
| sion, and favored the annexation OF
Texas. Mentioned as vice presidential
| possibility only, before the Baltimore con-
vention, his Views on "Americanism" ap'
/ pealed SO strongly to the delegates, on
! the assembling Of that body, that they
| nominated him as compromise candi-
date for the presidency on the ninth bal
| lot the other aspirants being Van Buren,
of New York. Cass of Michigan, johnson
| of Kentucky and Buchanan of Pennsyl-
vania-
The campaign was a particularly bitter
| one, even for those days. and 1t was dur
| ing it's progress that statement, pur-
porting to have appeared In Baron Roor-
bach's Travels Through the western and
! southern States" and defamatory OF
| Folks character. was given circulation
and widespread credence. The book
proving to be an entirely fictitious pub
| LEGATION, however, sentiment reacted in
Polk's favor. and he was elected over
| Henry Clay by a popular plurality OF
| 3S,175, and an electoral majority Of e
votes. The "h' in the spelling of Roor-
| bach was soon dropped, the .'k' substi-
tuted, and all attempts to discredit or to
| scandalize a presir "-ra'Hrtef 70
| ward the close OF &rn ia tes
Z, United States. hav' lnca fNsa tcsI ~
''roorbacks."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
HOTEL LOBBIES
Not Since Andrew jackson

Not since the reelection of An
drew Jackson as President in 1892,
did democrat ever directly succeed
himself to the presidential chair until
Woodrow Wilson was reelected last
Tuesday" remarked Frank V. Evans.
Martin Van Buren,. who was elect
ed in 1886, failed to win In 1910, al
though he was the democratic nom
inee. Franklin Pearce, who was elect
ed in. 1852. and James Buchanan, who
was elected in 1856, both democrats,
were neither renominated by the party.
Grover Cleveland. elected In 1884, failed
in 1888, though he received a plu-
rality of 98,017 votes of the popular
vote. In 1892 Cleveland won again with
277 electoral and plurality of 3So'Slo
popular votes. No republicans have
ever succeeded themselves to the pres
idency except Lincoln, Grant and Nc
Kinley.
This is not a personal recollection
by me-" continued Mr.. Evans, for 1
am not old enough yet for that, but 1t
is matter of recorded history. Will
son is a man of destiny and will go
down in history as one of the few
real great Americans since jackson.
Oscar w. Underwood is really en-
titled to most praise for present con-
structive financial legislation which
meets popular favor and will be the
successful candidate for President in
1920. A full bread basket and an ANAL
gamation of the agricultural south and
the agricultural west means demo-
cratic permanency."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
A REVISED VERSION

From the Indianapolis Star
Samson snored peacefully while Dell
lah shipped at his locks.
DO you want it cut round or square
on the neck?" she asked.
No answer.
would you like seafoam or sham
poor"
No reply.
Hair is getting trifle thin on top
Would you like little tonic?"
Silence
Have your whiskers trimmed?"
More silence.
Next"
Whereupon Samson climbed out of the
chair, gazed into a mirror, then rushed
into the street and pulled down tenn
pie.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
THE "HOT DOG"
m the Savannah Press.

From the Savannah Press.
A writer in "Our Dumb Animals" the
official organ of the Society for Proven
ton Of Cruelay to Animals, gives that
periodical rather interesting view of
the way in which weinerwurst sausages
are made. Says this writer, who signs
himself IF. III. r.:
THE hot dog This term, applied to
a sandwich made of roll and a bo-
logna sausage. Is quite as repulsive as
the thing it stands for. Though many
young people think 1t quite lark to
eat these sandwiches on special occasions
they would never think Of touching them
did they know how the most Of them are
made. We often declared that the cheap,
often wholly unfit meat boned out of the
carcasses Of diseased animals formed no
small part of the ingredients Of bologna
sausages Take the following illustration:
Near Lowell man had a COW die by
strangulation He bled her and then sold
the carcass to cheap butcher. When
the carcass was dressed the inspector re-
fused either to condemn it or to pass it.
The butcher then sold it to a dealer who
boned it out and sold It to a large pack
ing company which used 1t for bologna
sausages. For confirmation of our state
ment see court record. Yet, to our per-
sonal knowledge. the flesh of cows in
far worse condition than this ona is
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
INSIDE A BRITISH ss1TAINLKK''


The following day he refers to the Ger
mans thus:
Silly blighters thought they could rush
the tank like they would fort. Dashed
up from all sides. We fired at them
point blank. Develish plucky chaps some
of them for all their madness. The sur
vivors had another try. We spat at them
venomously. More of them went down.
On the Wednesday, the soldier found
ample cause for amusement. He writes:
Party of Huns came to meet US outside
the village. Very stout old gentleman
in front. Thought it was the mayor and
village big pots to give US a civic well
come. Mistaken. They meant to give
warm reception, but not as we under
stood the word. Let fly with machine
guns. Then tried silly boarding tactics.
We laughed. Our guns answered theirs.
Tank reception committee dispersed in
a cloud of smoke and flame; no trailing
clouds of glory. Fat old gentleman only
visible member of deputation. Stood OPEN
mouthed Purple with rage. Tank bore
down. Old gentleman started to run.
Funnier than sack race Old gentle
man flung himself to earth with many
signs Of surrender.
Later, the Australian, speaking Of AMI
intended German surprise. says:
We tried a surprise, too. and oursI
came first. Huns weren't pleased. Didn't
think it was playing the game According
to Potsdam rules. We waddled into theirl
ambush for the attacking troops. Never
saw men so frightened. Fled panic
stricken in all directions. Only fewt
chaps stayed behind and tried to stop us
by machine gun fire. Smashed them to.
bits, and left their machine guns to be-
picked up by the Yorkshiremen they
hoped to surprise.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

The old-fashioned woman who used to
sing: Hold the Fort, For 1 Am Coming
now has a daughter who yells out of the
window and changes the Fort into Ford.
The fact that girls legs bulge out
over her shoe tops is no sign that she is
a corn fed. Maybe she is wearing a
winter length union suit.
You may get a trace of red paint If
you kiss girl on the lips or the cheeks.
But 1t Is always safe to kiss on the nose.
Any time you are afraid that a friend
might forget you. just borrow $40 from
him and keep on owing 1t.
Business Is business. The man who
sells 50-cent article for a dollar has
to turn around and pay some other man
a dollar for something worth SO cents.
Engaged couples are happy because
each thinks that he or she is getting
more than he or she is giving. Then they
get married and wake up.
If this divorce problem keeps on grow
ing it might profit bride to put her
wedding dress away In moth balls Tor
possible second marriage.
Once in a while you will find man who
will listen patiently to your Dragging
about what q great many you are But
the trouble Is that when you get through
Dragging he is going to touch you fol
a loan.
1t is different with man. But no girl
ever gets SO deeply in love that she
doesn't get the right change for dollar
when she breaks one
The only reason why man gets excited
when he sees q girls knees Is because
he aknows that he ought not to see them
1t doesn't do man any good to come
home and lie to his wife about what hi
did. She subtracts all the things he says
he did and finds out what he really did.
Anyway. corn fed girl gets a lot Of
consolation out of the fact that she ISM
as fat as some women, and a thin cir
gets a lot of consolation out Of the fact
that she is not as skinny as some women
Any time you see boy wearing lone
curls that come down to his shoulders
you can bet that his father isn't boss in
that home.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
What Wilson'S Election Means

Woodrow Wilson's reelection is notable triumph for con-
structve legislation.
His victory proves that the people of this country believe IN
great the democratic administration has enacted
into law.
proves chat the American people longer look the
democratic party party of radicals and extremists, but
rather great agency for building up for meeting modern
problems and solving them and for doing those things which
best for all the people.
Even the republicans recognize the wisdom and stability OF
democracy constructive work of the past three and half
The stock market continues to advance industry get
ting ready for still greater things business look forward
with confidence four years of the upbudng spirit at
Washington.
The American people believe in going forward Ihey nave
seen the democratic administration prove its dependabty
That is wlv Woodrow Wilson remains in the White House
That why nation looks forward to the four
most prosperous years in its history.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
ONLY SIX KICKS

From the Montgomery Times.
On account of the high price Of paper
The Birmingham Age-Herald notified its
subscribers that 1t would have to go back
to the old price, IS year, instead Of IS,
as now. Out of the $4,000 subscribers to
that sheet, only six protested.
This is showing of which The Age
Herald should be proud. 1t is one of the
very finest papers in the south and the
Times congratulates it on the almost
unanimous reception of the change in
price. The readers of our birmingham
contemporary evidently appreciate it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
A GREAT RELIEF.

What man today
In the u. S. A.,
A stay -at-home or rover,
Who's not, say we,
AS glad'5 can be
This darned elections over?
We Joined the throng
And waited long
To hear who'd be the winner;
Though wifey'd frown,
Remained in town
And three times missed our diner.
The newsboys yelled.
Our bosom swelled
With hope and pride one minute;
The next with pain
Heard the refrain,
Poor Woodrow is not in it.
And so it went,
Our strength was spent,
Our mood somewhat detected;
Then came the news
That finished Hughes
1.-THE Presidents reelected"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
DISHEARTENED.

was there much money spent in the
election?"
Don't ask me?' replied the disap-
pointed politician. IF there was any
money being passed around 1 didn't see
it. Believe me or not, but I'll be lucky
if 1 get new silk hat and Prince AL
bert coat"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
GARNETr. TYPICAL OF KoNsAs

From the Kansas City Star.
The story of Garrett. as told In tn
Star this morning, is the story Of tn
typical Kansas town. Garrett is just q
old home town, built up and maintaine
by country trade. 1t has two small fun
niture factories. which constitute tt
total of its Industrial enterprises.
But Garrett. population 20. ymayb,
has paved streets with beautiful stirred
parkings. 1t has thorough system
municipal sewers, with a mnicips
water plant 1t has a municipal ligl
plant, and now it has installed a ''gref-
white way covering all the busineI
section of the town and running to til
railroad stations.
That's Kansas. There are more tina
50 towns of the Garrett class that hay
an the things that Garrett has. Jul
small towns with every metropolitan al
vantage-and none of the disadvantag}
of the metropolitan life.
There Is hardly state in the uni0
where the cities and small towns are
the same class with the cities and sms
towns of Kansas.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
A young Australian soldier has con-
tributed to the Manchester Guardian a
dairy of work inside a tank during
the fighting. The experience, he re-
marks. was not altogether pleasant at
first, tank sickness being as bad as
seasickness until one gets used to the
tanks" His initial trip was on Mon
day. He writes:
~ UT for first time. Strange SEN
Il sation. Worse than being in a
submarine. AT first unable to
see anything, but imagined lot Bull
lets began to rain like hailstones on a gall
vanized roof at first, then like series
of hammer blows. We passed through 1t
all unscathed Suddenly we gave ter
rible lurch. 1 thought we were booked
through Lookout said we were astride
an enemy trench.
Give them hell" was the order. We
gave them it. Our guns raked and swept
trenches right and left. Got peep at
frightened Huns. 1t was grimly humor-
Gus. They tried to bolt like scared rab-
bits, but were shot down in punches be-
fore getting to their burrows. Machine
guns brought forward. Started a vicious
rattle on our hide" Not the least inn
preston was made. Shells began to
burst.
We moved on and overlook some more
frightened Huns. Cut their ranks to rib
bons with our fire. They ran like men
possessed. Officer tried to rally them.
They awaited our coming for awhile AS
soon as our guns began to spit at them
they were off once more. Infantry
rounded them up and survivors surren-
dered, Very curious about us. Stood
onan-nnnufhed and Wide-eYed
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
Cpem-Air Pageant Am
Elaborate Spectacle

n a REMARKABLE demonstration of
EA what can be accomplished by
cooperative community spirit was
given in the great open air pageant
"Wenonah" at Wenonah last night.
The spectacle was produced by the
men and women of the Tennessee
Coal, Iron and Railroad company and
contained representatives from all de-
partments of the company's $4,000
employees.
The occasion was the changing of
the name Fossil" one of the dis
trict's model mining communities, to
"Wenonah." A beautiful allegorical
Indian story was portrayed, the GEN.
trail figures being the maidens Ish-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
A wOBBLING GAIT.

Didn't you know that If you struck
this pedestrian he would be seriously In
tured?"
Yes. SIR" replied the chauffeur.
"Then, why didn't you zigzag your ear
and miss him."
honor"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11

BEGINNING THE DAY-My God,
1 feel more and more that 1 must
find all peace. all power, all per-
manence in Thee. I find myself more
and more sunocated in Thine an
sence and breathing deep In my
presence. Thou art atmosphere anu
food for my soul. Thou art the very
fountaiu of NV Hfe Amen.-H. NJ. E.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
A MEASURE OF HEAVEN

BY Bliss Carman.
Heaven is no larger than Connecticut
No larged than Fairfield county: no.
larger
Than the little Valley OF the Silver mil
The white sun visits and the wanderi3
showers.
For there is room enough for springs r
turn,
For lilac evenings and the rising mod
And time enough for autumn's idle dan
When soul Is ripe for
And then when winter c ptS VIZ
4. dering dusk.
To kindle rosy flames ,r
And hang its starry bel fh4
nr~ firelit room IL la scsGh Il
heaven
Ill we know Of wis 13 ~ ersh
siQ the eternal welfar Size Akaf- /
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-11
F orgot to Reckon
With the West


With the West
7THE leading newspapers of New
u York city, so long filled with
the idea that as goes New York, New
Jersey and Indiana in presidential
election, so goes the union, were
naturally quick to conclude Tuesday
night that Hughes was elected. In
the metropolitan mind landslide IN
the Empire state was practically
enough to determine the contest. The
democrats had been claiming many
western states and pointing out the
possibility, if not probability, of Will
sons reelection without single cleo
toral vote from the east, but the edi-
tors-those that had supported Wilson
as well as those that supported
Enthusiastically did not take that
view seriously.
The Suns editorial in Wednesdays
issue was brilliantly written and,
from a republican angle was in good
temper. The Times, which had labored
earnestly for Wilson, proclaimed
Hughes election almost before the
polls closed. The Herald, with a proud
reputation for the accuracy of its in
formation and for its unerring inten-
ton, was early out with the result
as it was thought to be.
The World, which had been the
Presidents ablest and most impas-
stoned champion, came out the next
morning with broad-minded edi-
torial, in which it pledged Mr.. Hughes
the strongest support that he makes
it possible for US to give him."
All this on Wednesday morning.
Thursdays New York papers had
shaken off their confusion of face
with as much grace as they could
command. The trouble with the
metropolitan journals was that
while they had hear about the
west and how it might go, they
simply didn't think it was loaded.
The World is now rejoicing in
Wilson's victory, and in Thursdays
issue it had joined in the democratic
chorus of jubilation. Nothing bet
ter" the World says, ''has happened
in generation than this shifting Of
the political balance to a section
which still maintains the old ideals
of the republic and which is not owned
by its pocketbook and which has never
made god of its bank account"
The west used to be the strongest
of republican strongholds. In 1915
Roosevelt, as the progressive candi-
date for the presidency, had many ad'
herents in several states west of the
Mississippi, especially in Kansas anc
California. In the latter state he hac
q plurality of TIA votes over Wilson
But the people "out west" no longer
believe in the once popular ex-Presi
dent.
This country has had many an ex
citing presidential campaign, but i
will not soon witness such a politica
revolution as that of Tuesday.