davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1916-05-14
1--f.t-t-f'ff++
CLUBDOM
Calendar of Club DOings

Monday
| Daughters Of American Revolution, Omaha
chapter, public library, p. M
Child Conservation league, Dundee circle
Mrs Allen White, hostess, 2;30 p. m,
Chautauqua circle, Tonnyson chapter. Mrs
A, r. Klopp, hostess, $3.50 p. MI evening
lecture at First Baptist church by Rev. H.
o. Rowlands
Gymnastic and folk dance demonstration, Y.
W. G. A.
Luncheon for Omaha Womans club, political
and social science department Brandeis
stores cafe, !? o'clock.
Tuesday
r E. 0. sisterhood Chapter Is, r., Mrs. ]. A.
Hawkins hostess, 2 p. m.
Woman's Auxiliary Of Episcopal church, an
nual meeting All Saints church a. m.
Business Women's club Y. w. G. A., 7 p. NJ.
Society Of American Widows, Y. w. G. A.,
p. m.
Business Glrls' council, luncheon and prayer
meeting, court house, to o'clock.
North Side Mothers club, Mrs. c. II. Malard,
hostess, 1880 .. NJ.
Gymnastic and folk dance demonstration,
Y, W. G. A.
Wednesday,
Visiting Nurse aaaociation, board meeting,
city Hall, 1890 a. N.
May breakfast, Business Womens club, Y,
w. G. A. 10 Q a. NJ.
W. C. T. U. of Douglas county, Y. NJ. G. A.
2;3O p m.
Railway Mail Service, Woman's club. Mrs. j.
g. Hart, hostess, $3.50 p m.
Benson Womans Foreign Missionary society
tea, Mrs. Charles Anderson, hostess.
Relay meet of athletic club, Y w. c. A,
Spanish War Veterans, General Lawton aux
HAIRY Memorial hall.
Thursday
Benson Woman's club Mrs. J. Y, Hooper,
hostess, 2:30 p. m.
Association of Collegiate Alumnae, drama
section, Miss May somers hostess. 4 p, m.
Society OF American Widows. Y. W. G. A.,
7:45 p. M.
Conference of Employed Workers opens at
v. w. G. A.
Friday
Child Conservation league. North Side cir
Gle, Mrs IT, w. Dorst hostess, 2 D. m
P. f. o. sisterhood luncheon at Commercial
club for Plattsmouth chapter and recep-
ton at home Of president Mrs. w. y,
Woodward
w c. T. U. OF Benson, Mrs ]. N. Horton,
hostess, $3.50 .. m.
Saturday
Luncheon at Hotel Fontenelle, Omaha Story
Tellers league. / 2 o'clock
Departure of Nebraska delegation to bien-
NAL convention. General Federation of
Womens Clubs.
Omaha daily bee., 1916-05-14
Glad Maypole Dancers at Omaha University
9Th si,,t1..t.i-
SOCIETY
Social Calendar

Social Calendar
Monday
Wadsworthscott wedding rehearsal.
orpheum party and supper at the Fontenelle
for l. Whist club.
George A. Custer Trio club. benefit card
party Mrs. George W, WinshIp, hostess.
Tuesday
Wadsworth-Scott wedding.
Annual Creche brldgt party Hotel Fontenelle.
Nordling-Jerpe wedding
Bridge-luncheon at the Henshaw, Mrs. Victor
Gladstone hostess
Bridge-luncheon, Mrs Harry Steele, hostess.
LoWellen-smsor wedding
Wednesday,
Unitarian Woman's Alliance meeting Mrs.
II. W. Barnum, hostess.
Dance for Miss Metz and Mr. schnorr. given
by Mrs, J. r, Wilcox and Mr. and Mira Roy
Wilcox.
Thursday
Bennot-Amos wedding.
Comus club. Mrs, Charles Lanstrum, hostess,
paugherty- Burdc wedding at the Herman.
May dance Of tho Pagalco club, Krug park.
Friday
Dinner for Dr. and Mrs. A. T. Schultz. given
by Dr. and Mrs. G. NJ. w. POINTER
Sigma Nh annual banquet, Fontenels.
Saturday
Field club opening
Les Amles Whist club, Miss Grace Nickel
Afternoon bridge for Mrs. Horace Chaplin.
Miss Nettie Witte. hostess.
Omaha daily bee., 1916-05-14

Aalltloaal 1ab News sa rsss toaF
Omaha daily bee., 1916-05-14

FAIRS for May brides made mp the
principal affairs OF the past week and
a guest came In for an occasional tea
or course, there was the luncheon TO
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

could be, understand, if he would
sit down and tell lady how he was
up till three in the morning figuring
the costs ON big shipment of enamel
ware wash tubs, aud how by reap
portiOning the overhead, he cut the in
dependent manufacturers price ten
per cent, Zapp, is it any wonder that
the daughters of our best families
prefers marriage match with for
eign noble Teller? Am I right or
wrong?"
"Yes and no." Zapp said, because
while your idee is, good talking
point for the president of the Airy-O
Club, Birsky, supposing he does prom
Use teller that if he becomes an airy
onaut, he stands chance to leave a
rich wilder provided the wedding
takes place before the accident, y
understand, where is the inducement?
The fact of the matter is, Birsky, that
the members of the Airy-O Club of
America is starting in from the wrong
end. What them fellers should ought
to do is to get after the manufacture
ers to make up line of semi-safe
airy-oplanes, where if you fly in 'em,
understand, you will stand show
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
q Would Lay for Him at the Drug Store

Europe up to the present war using
your head wasn't considered becoming
neither. Gollef and tennis is all right
once in while, Birsky, but If Teller
is hitting q ball NIT club day in day
out, understand, he might just so
well be hitting a nail NIT hammer
and become carpenter. The conse-
quences was that until airy-oplanes
Was invented, all such a young Teller
could do to get any excitement out of
life was to climb mountains NIT snow
on 'em or go to Africa and kill once in
q while a menagerie animal like lion
or a tiger. However, Birsky, after
airy-oplanes was invented, flying be-
came more fashionable than mountain
climbing and killing menagerie ami
mails, as it was found out to be Just
az dangerous, but with less travelling
expenses and more convenient to a
hospital. So therefore, Zapp, for
every son of millionaire In this coun-
try which is working hard to carry on
the old mans business and give en-
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

just what it was shout the airy-opIane
that killed the airy-Onaut. One mem
Der of the club In particular feels
quite sore that we should be willing
to learn by Europe's mistakes and not
by our own, so he is offering trophy
for an annual airy-Oplane competition
for flying across the continent"
"What for, a trophy?'' Birsky asked
"He didn't say" Zapp replied, "bul
the chances Is it would be wilder In
sterling silver holding in her right
hand cancelled insurance policy and
underneath the motto: Kindly omit
flowers
"And he expects that American
airy-onauts will risk their lives flying
to the Pacific coast for such prizeT
Birsky said. II suppose the second
prize is safety razor with twelve
blades and styptic pencil in Katherine
case complete, and the third prize .
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

years subscription to any two Of the
monthly magazines. It's too bad that
the North Pole was discovered before
this here member Of the Airy-O Club
started in to offer prizes, Zapp. He
might of loosened up to Admiral
Peary for cut glass olive dish or
something"
81 guess the president of the Airy
o Club thought the same thing as
you, Birsky," Zapp said, because so
soon as he got the letter from the
member who offered the trophy he
comes right back with an offer of
$4,000 for first prize, $4,000 second
prize, $4,000 for third prize, $500
for fourth prize, and so by degrees
down to You done noble for the ninth
prize, Fine work for the tenth prize
and What detained your for the 18th,
10Th and 18th prizes"
"Sure, 1 know" Birsky commented,
'but twenty thousand dollars amt to
be shifted at, neither"
Listen, Birsky," Zapp said. "There
is already entered in the Airy-o Clubs
contest thirteen concerns which manu-
features airy-oplanes in the United
States, and, SO far as l heard it, they
amt in business for the benefit they
will get from the systematic exercise
of making up weekly payroll exact
ly. So you can trust them fellers to
see to it that enough young billion
aires learns to fly to net the manufac-
turer anyhow ten per cent on his in
vestment, and that is the secret of
airy-oplane preparedness, Birsky. To
the members of the Airy-O Club of
America an airy-onaut is only an airy
onaut, but to Teller in the airy-o-
plane business an airy-onaut is some
thing more than that. He is Gus
toner, Birsky. So, therefore, Birsky,
what the Airy-o Club of America must
do is to train travelling statesmen for
the manufacturers of airy-oplanes, and
in case of war, Birsky, the air would
be black with customers"
Copyright, New York Tribune.)
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
1t HELPS.

1t is told of Doctor Johnson that, in
the course of his last illness, when he
could not open his letters, he asked
Boswell to read them for Linn. Bos-
well opened letter from tome person
in the north of England-of compli-
mentary kind, and thinking it would
fatigue Doctor Johnson to have it
read aloud, merely observed that it
was highly in his praise. Doctor john
son at once desired it to be read to
him, and said with great earnestness
1.-THE applause of single human be-
ing is of great consequence"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Quail an Industrious Bird.

In a plea for the bobwhite, w. L.
Nelson, assistant secretary of the
board of agriculture, states that they
eat at least IS kinds of weed seed.
For meat he chooses among 81 kinds
Of beetles, q kinds of bugs, 9 kinds of
grasshOppers, Is kinds Of caterpillars
and variety of ants, flies and wasps.
One bobwhite has been known to eat
as many as 5000 plant lice in two
hours, and he is fond of boil weevils,
cinch bugs, cabbage worms, cucumber
beetles, squash bugs, army worms and
Hessian flies.
And yet there are farmers who are
willing to have all the bObwhites on
their farms killed. Shooting the hired
man would be more logical, remarks
the st. Louis Republic. The hired man
demands wages, while the bobwhite
works for nothing.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

for your life somewheres between a
Teller working in a powder mill and
a teller in a submarine-in otEar
words, not so safe that it wouldn't be
considered a good tropic of CONVERSE
ton with ladies, y'undarstand."
For my part, Zapp, am content to
stay out of airy-oplanes till they get
so common that talking about flying
in 'em will be so much trOpic of con-
yersation as saying amt 1T rotten
weather we are having" Birsky de-
clared. "At the same time, Zapp, /
think that time is coming fast, on ac-
count I seen it in the papers where
over in Europe they are learning a
great deal from airy-oplanes. and that
after the war is over, Zapp. they will
rake big Improvements in EN-"
1.-THE idea of Airy-o Club of Ameri-
ca" Zapp said, ''is that we shouldn't
wait till the war is over but we should
go right ahead experimenting on our
own account NIT airy-opl;nes. and
learn from one accident to ano;her
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Physician Says Ordinary Nuxated Iron
Will Increase Strength of Delicate
Folk 200 Per Cent in Two
Weeks Time in Many
Instances.

NEW YORK, N. YIN a recent dis
course DR.. e. Sauer, Specialist, of this
city, said: IF you were to make an
actual blood test on all people who are
i'll you would probably be greatly as
tonished at the exceedingly large num-
Der who lack iron and who are i'll for
no other reason than the lack of iron.
The moment iron is supplied all their
multitude of dangerous symptoms dis
appear. Without iron the blood at once
loses the power to change food into liv-
ing tissue, and therefore nothing you
eat does you any good; you don't get
the strength out Of it. Your food mere
ly passes through your system like corn
through mill with the rollers SO wide
apart that the mill can't grind. As
result of this continuous blood and
nerve starvation, people become gen.
orally weakened, nervous and all run
down, and frequently develop all sorts
of conditions. One is too thin; another
Is burdened with unhealthy fat; some
are so weak they can hardly walk;
some think they have dyspepsia, kidney
or liver trouble; some can't sleep at
night; others are sleepy and tired all
day; some fussy and irritable; some
skinny and blOodless, but all lack physi-
cal power and endurance. In such
cases it is worse than foolishness to
take stimulating medicines or narcotic
drugs. which only whip up your tagging
vital powers for the moment, maybe at
the expense Of your life later on. No
matter what anyone tells you, IL you
are not strong and well you owe it TO
yourself TO make the following test:
See how long you can work or how far
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
The Two Limits

J. T. Scheidt, German consul to Gal
weston, was discussing the German
losses on the Somme.
Losses on the Somme," he said,
"gain in the Dobrudja. There are
two lights, good and bad one, to
look at every situation by.
ut Is like the philanthropist who
said:
".Ach, God bless woman! She is
the same as the ivy on the ruined wall.
The more dilapidated you become, the
more she clings to YOU
"But misogynist grunted in reply ::
ayes, and the more she clings t.
you, the more dilapidated you be-
GOMEZ"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

ployment to thousands of operators, y
understand, they got over in Europe
a son of millionaire who is learning
to fly in an airy-oplane and has work
ing for him steady two mechanics. a
surgeon and trained nurse.
swell, you couldn't blame such a
young Teller in especially If he is
going out a good deal into society,""
Birsky said. 1.-THE. fact that Teller
is learning to fly in an airy-Oplane
and so to speak could never tell which
moment is going to be his next, Zapp,
makes him In way very interesting
to meet, especially for ladies, Zapp,
which they could say h'afterwards:
Only yesterday he was talking to me
the same like you are now Also an
airy-oplane flyer has got trOpic of
conversation more attractive to ladies,
Zapp, which / don't care how good
looking young American millionaire
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Efficient EMPLOYERS.

We hear great deal these days
about the efficiency of employees, and
it is well worth while to turn our at
tention to the efficiency Of the engi-
neer and the employer of labor as well.
1t was said of III. w. Thornton, the
well-known railroad engineer, who was
called to assume charge Of the Great
Eastern railroad in England: "Any-
one can handle engines and cars and
tunnels, but Thornton is wonder at
handling men. Nor does he ever block
the door of his Office to a man who
has something to say."-Industrial
Management.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Astonishing Power of Iron
to Glue Strength to Broken
DoUn Nervous PEOPLE

you can walk without becoming tired.
Next take two five-grain tablets of or.
binary nuxated iron three times Der
day after meals for two weeks. Thea
test your strength again and see fog
yourself how much you have gained. Z
have seen dozens Of nervous, run-down
people who were ailing all the time
double and even triple their strength
and endurance and entirely get rid ok
their symptoms of dyspepsia, liver and
other troubles in from ten to fourteen
days time simply by taking iron In the
proper form, and this. after. they had
in some cases been doctoring for
months without obtaining any benefit
You can talk as you please about an
the wonders wrought by new remedies.
but when you come down to hard facts
there is nothing like good old iron 10
put color In your cheeks and good.
sound, healthy flesh on your bones. q
is also a great nerve and stomach
and the best blood builder
in the world. The only trouble was
that the old forms Of inorganic iron.
like tincture of iron, iron acetate, etc.
often ruined peoples teeth, upset their
stomachs and were not assimilated,
and for these reasons they frequently
did more harm than good. But with
the discovery Of the newer forms az
organic iron all this has been overcome.
Nuxated Iron, for example, is pleasant
to take, does not injure the teeth and b
almost Immediately beneficial.
NOTEThe manufacturers Of Nuxafea
Iron have such unbounded condolences fn
Its potency that they authorize tho A.
that they will forfeit SfAa0
to any Charitable Institution II they eaa-
not take any man or woman under sa1fy
who lacks iron and increase their strength
200 per cent or over in four weeks tire,
provided they have no serious orgznko
trouble Also they will refund your monaV
In any case In which Nuxated Iron dec
not at least double your strength in -
days time. It is dispensed by most DIR.
g1sts. II your druggist or general stosn
g without q supply, ash them to st g -
you-Ady.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Chewing Gum Out of Place.

Marion was fond of chewing gum,
and one morning before she was
dressed her papa gave her piece,
which she chewed vigorously, but In
some way part Of it came in contact
with her nightie and stuck. That night,
when her mamma put her to bed she
undressed her in a dimly-lighted room.
therefore the gum on the nightie was
not discovered. Marion was tucked
into bed and her mamma went into the
next room to await Mr.. Sandman, and
just when she thought the little girl
was sleeping tiny voice piped up
Mamma. You have my nightie Oh
wrong; the chewing gum belongs in
front"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
By
MONTAGUE GLASS

m SEE where the president Of the
Airy-O Club of America has got
new plan to encourage young
fellers to learn how to fly" said Louis
Birsky the real estater as he laid down
the morning paper in Wasserbauer's
Restaurant.
What was the old plan?" Barnet
Zapp the waist manufacturer asked.
WELL" Birsky replied, II suppose
he took the young Teller to one side
and said: Listen, be a sport. You
got to die some time, and long, ex-
pensive sickness amt so pleasant
neither. Get it over quick. Learn to-
fly"
"And naturally the young Teller
wasn't encouraged" Barnet Zapp sug-
geSted.
Naturally" Birsky said. $50 now
the president of the Airy-O Club says:
'LOoky here, why don't you learn it
flying in an airy-Oplane and after you
graduate l would get you and two
thousand of your classmates to fly
from here to San Francisco, and who
arrives first gets $2O,OOO?"
"Aber supposing the Teller don't ar
rive first?" Zapp inquired.
"Then that's his funeral" Birsky
said.
"Well then where does the encour-
agement come in?" Zapp commented.
Furthermore, Birsky, this here pres
ident Of the Airy-o Club of America
has got 1t wrong. The thing to do is
not to encourage young fellers to learn
it flying in an airy-Oplane but to DIS
courage 'em."
swell, what he said in the first
place didn't sound so encouraging to
me-" Birsky said.
"What he said was all right" Zapp
admitted, 'but he didn't lay no pipes
for it. For instance, if would be the
president of the Airy-o Club of Amer
lea and I wanted young Teller he
should be an airy-onaut, understand,
I would find out where the young fell
Ter is working and get him fired. l
would then fix things so that the girl
he is going to marry wouldn't got
nothing to do with him no more.
H'afterwards / would use all this as
evidence why his father should throw
him out of the house, and when ! got
the young Teller absolutely in despair,
understand, would lay for him at
the drug store and just when he Is
going to buy the poison he is figuring
on taking, 1 would say to him: Lis
ten,-since the war has stopped Ger
many shipping drugs to America, you
couldn't rely on poisOns no more
Save your money and try something
certain. Learn to fly"
"Aber not considering the funny
side of this thing, Zapp, why is it we
amt got more as one airy-oplane flyer
to Europe's twenty?" Birsky asked.
''It's a question from etiquette"
Zapp replied. "Over in Europe If a
young Teller has got father with a
rating anywheres about d to F credit
fair, for such young Teller to work
for living Is considered like eating
with his knife or wearing tan shoes
with a full dress suit. So what is a
Teller like that to do? Cards he soon
gets tired of, because you've got to
use your head to play cards, and in
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Protection During thunderstorm.

In the event of lightning stroke Oh
an unprotected building there is con
siderable danger to life, but there i.
no doubt that an unprotected house j.
preferable to the open. under trees, OF
in unprotected outbuildings. AS show
when a stroke falls on an unprOtecte,
house sheltering family of the aver
age number of persons, the minimum
chances of escape are 40 i'm 100. III
al; probability. however. the chances
of escape are much greater than this.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Some Bill for Jam, This.

When we think or read of the vast
expenses of the present war our minds
naturally turn to munitions, airplanes,
submarines, equipments and items of
a similar warlike nature, but the Eng
lish army account for the last finan-
cial year opens another vista. During
the II months we are told $1O,OOO,0OO
was spent on jam!
Does not this suggest possibility
that this item might advantageously
appear on our domestic menu with
greater frequency?
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Spiteful.

She-I hardly ever get new dress,
and everybody thinks you are mil
lionaire.
He-Why should they have that
idea2
She-It's the only reason they can
ton Evening Transcript
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
A StIcker.

"HOw do you account for the cleo
ion results?"
81 don't try to account for it," re-
Piled Senator Sorghum. That's too
far ahead. Until the official count is
over 1 don't intend to quit prophesying
on the result"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Sniff. Sniff.

"How can l get to Flubdub's fish
marketP
Follow your nose"
"Follow my nose? Now, that seems
indefinite advice to give a man."
'1t is all right when hunting for a
nal.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Helping Alonu.

Timid Admirer-Will you be en-
gagged tomorrow, Miss Ella?
Desperate Maiden-I may be If
somebody plucks up nerve enough to
ask me.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

A preachers life would be awfulIy
tame If 1t wasn't for weddings.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

No Foreign Element in the Case.
"Why don't you have your son ex-
amined by an alienist?'
I'D rather have a good American
doctor than any Of them foreigners"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Literally So,

'"The style Of that writer Is per-
fectly killing"
81 should say so, the way he MUIR
ders the kings english"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
RED, ROUGH, PIMPLY SKIN
Quickly Cleared by cuticura Soap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

You may rely on these fragrant,
super-creamy emollients to care for
your skin, scalp, hair and hands. Moth
ing better to clear the skin of pimples,
blotches, redness and roughness, the
scalp of dandruff and itching and the
hands of chapping and soreness.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Very Much So.

Very Much So.
SIS this really cut glass"
II should say so! Cut from slips
to 80 cents"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
1.-THE Spirit Was Willing"

1.-THE Spirit Was Willing"
Despite the exhOrtatiOns OF her
teacher, small Mary persistently Jagged
during the march in the kindergarten
one morning.
At last the teacher called Mary to
her side, and said: "Mary, dear, can't
you keep up with the music and the
little boy in front of you"
EYES," answered Mary, with beam
ing and obliging smile, Il can, but my
new shoes can't"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

We all squander money on schemes
that won't work.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
The Leavinqs.

"You know, that tramp we just saw
comes from fine family.
"Is that so? Why did he leave itw
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Sf0u the Pain.

STOP the Fa1n.
The hurt of burn or a cut stops when
Coles Carbolisalve is applied. 1t heals
quickly without scars. Csc and SOC by
all druggists. For free sample write The
J. w. Cole Co. Rockford, IlL-Adv.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01

A girl is willing to elope-if therG
are no wedding presents In sight.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-12-01
Cost of Army Rations.

Cost OF Army Rations.
In 1913 the cost of days rati0n1
for army men in this country was q
cents per capita. Now the cost IL 30
cents.