The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-05-23
By NJ. QUAD

bled TO listen to his tale, did any O.
you ever hear of an animal called {
'guyasticutus z"
There never was such an ANIMAL
Replied one. There is such word al
suyasticutus, but 1t is a slang word
When you call a man a guyasticutus
you express your contempt for him"
My friends, you are wrong, and
shall take great pleasure In convincing
you of the fact | can't say that such
an animal exists now, but he surely did
forty years ago. for invented him
myself"
Give us the yarn was called out
from every one.
Wen. | was head keeper of the me.
nagerie travelling with the circus. We
bad started out of winter quarters with
nye hyenas In the cage, but four of
them had gone dead on us. | guess If
was pneumonia that carried them Off.
The one left was an old he hyena, and
he could stand any sort of weather and
take the bumps of the country high.
ways. However, after his companions
had departed this life we saw a change
In him. He didn't fall sick. but he got
lonesome and sulky.
There were daily complaints that
our hyena was fraud, and was
wondering what we could do about 1t
when the boss came to me one day
and said:
George, that old hyena is making
trouble for us. What's the matter
with him anyhow?
81 guess he is tired of being a nv.
ena,' l replied.
hep
Why, we can't make a bird OF him.
but maybe l can make some other ami
NAL of him.
Then do it, man.
Il changed the hyena's food a dozen
times and gave him whisky to Ian
instead of water" said the old show.
man, "but it didn't improve him any.
and set myself to wonder how |
could make him over. The bright idea
came to me at last, and one Sunday.
When we had lazy day of it, / bought
various paints and brushes. There
was a farmers hired man hanging
around the show. He had deserted the
ploW for the romance of the circus.
He had offered to work for So a week
and his board, but had no room for
him. When | got the idea OF making
the hyena over l beckoned to this chap
and said:
Joshaway, l will give you SIS a
week and your board If you will do
what | want you to do. It concerns
the old hyena in the cage over there.
want to make guyasticutus of
him.
"Joshaway promised, and the first
thing to do was to tie the old hyena
up. We got ropes and straps around
MS legs and a muZzle over his nose.
and then went to work with the paints.
tie didn't give us much trouble: he
was too lonesome and homesick for
that We gave him bright green ears;
we gave him bright red nose and
red eyebrows: we spotted his body
lere and there with green, red, blue.
yellow and black paints. We put a
fozen rings around his tail, and we
painted his legs one color and his feet
another. Say, boys, when we got
through with that hyena we had to sit
pack and roar with laughter.
we had special cage made for
nm and gave it such position that
My the front with its iron bars could
'e seen. Behind 1t on chair was
oshaway, the young man who was
boxing for romance. He did all the
alking, but 1t seemed to come from the
Joshaway had voice
Ike the filing of saw, and his talk
Vas great success. The animal In
ront OF him went on with long rig
1arole as to his forest home in Hon.
uras and what he did there.
The fatal day did not arrive until
re had shown that guyasticutus for
wo years and half. | renewed the
amt on him every other Sunday and
aw to 1t that he had the choicest kind
{ food"
But what about the fatal day p was
ueried.
"oh, yes, about that fatal day." re-
lied the old Snowman. well, It came
bout in this way. That young man
oshaway undertook to eat an apple
lille he was giving his talk, and the
ED of the fruit got into his throat
I'D stuck there. He had to choke and
'ugh and sputter. and the fact that
lere was man somewhere hidden be-
Ind the guyasticutus could not be
'ncealed. There were shouts Of ex-
tement and derision and calls for an
yestigation. Half dozen men press
forward and seized the cage and
llled 1t of its benches. That same
llf dozen men seized Joshaway by
le neck or somewhere else as he still
loked and sputtered over the seeds
Id brought him out for the crowd to
OK on. In just one minute it was
ain that the public had been swim.
ed for years. They had had a sHyas
eutus instead of hyena and Aad
'uble their moneys worth. but they
anted their revenge, and they took it
ne cage was kicked abost until it was {
mashed and its occupant was killed. {
I'd they stepped on Joshaway ami
ked and pounded him until he would
yer again feel romantic, and the fight {
read until something like a thousand I
en- and women were engaged in it. t
e had to stop the circus performance S
ID pack up and move on, and we had t
go for full hundred miles before
2 heard the last of our scheme to ]
tdo natural history" 9
DIV a falling off in stolen bases for