The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1916-11-02

Nyhart Sunbeams.

Hello folks, here I come with
tidings from Peaceful Valley
By the way, did you know that
the fountain Of perpetual youth
for which Ponce de Leon sought
so diligently, is located right here
in Peaceful Valley9 Well, it is
and any of the natives will show
you the spring and invite you to
drink and not charge you a cent
If you want to be sunny" and
live again the days of your youth
we invite you.
When l read the speeches OF
Hughes, Wilson, Bryan, Reed and
others and compare them with
the frey outbursts which occur
daily at the cross roads emporium
of Mayor Campbell how puerile
and insignificant they appear
Seems like all the statesmen are
one the farms yet.
Bob Sprouts the genial chill
billy" just north of Nyhart,
killed a "hawg" the other day
and brought the mayor" some
fine country sausage. Aside from
being socialist and little bit
"queer" at times, Bob is a real
good fellow.
In Bates county there arc about
a million men whose mothers
raised their boys to be a soldier
at least you'd think so to hear
them. talk of wanting war with
Mexico. But say, just wait till
the call comes and see them hike
for the woods.
Mrs. Pal Eng1ehardt has been
quite sick with malarial fever. at
the home of her sister, Mrs. VIM.
Simpson. DR.. Lockwood was out
to see her Tuesday Of last week.
She is getting along nicely which
her many friends will be glad to
know. In the meantime Pal is
''baching."
Some one asked me the other
day "whcn the war in Europe
would be cnded' and | said that
so far as I have been able to in
form myself / thought the end
would come soon as the "war was
over" and l don't know of any
one who can give a more intelli-
gent answer, do you?.
Somebody has produced an
"odorlcss onion. So the onion
farmer may as well put away the
hoe and rake. Who on earth
would bother eating onions if
they cant have the pleasure of
blowing their onion scented
breath in the face of some one
who don't eat onions. | hope the
report is not true, 'twould be Il
calamity indeed.
l attended a good roads inject
in last week at CORTLAND school
house under the auspices Of But
Ter Commercial Club. The meet
ing was very interesting. The
speakers We're a little "back-
ward" about coming forward"
but all acquitted themselves mob
ly. 1t listens good and hope
their plans for the Jefferson High
way may be fully carried out.
Our game warden, j. A. Patter-
son, left last Monday on the 10 :O5
train headed north. asked him
where he was going and he said
"sealed orders" Don't know
where he was going but he was on
his way. Poachers and law
breakers would better be careful
for Doc. will gather 'em in.
An "odorless' onion and that
amt all, some one has developed
a "puckerless persimmon"-will
wonders never cease. Soon we
may expect to have an "odorless
skunk" or a skunk who carries
sachet powder. Amt it awful.
Let the road be rough and
dreary and it end far out of sight,
foot it bravely, strong or weary,
vote for Wilson-He's s all right.
Once upon a dark night dreary,
as l puzzled faint and weary,
over half q hundred bills / should
have paid before, suddenly there
came a tapping, twas the sheriff
loudly rapping-boldly asking
for admission to my little "cross-
roads" store. Nothing less and
nothing more. Open, then I flung
the portal, when in stepped lord
" mortal with a star as big as
"Venus" one ne 'er had seen be-
fore. Loudly he began to sputter
and I'll swear he did not stutter.
He could speak the plainest elm
60" l had ever heard before. Aye