davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
CIT " NJ VS.


church, the guest of Rev. Bird -.
There was a rally in progress and the
services both morning and evening
were excellent. Rev. Bowles preached
from Matt. SO, "The Great Teacher"
Several went from Argentine to at
tend the services, among them Mrs.
Bowles and Mesdames Waller. Bur-
ney, Otie William, Small and Little
Misses Clark and Williams. The trip
was a very pleasant me-. AT the re-
quest of the property owners three
electric lights have been installed
south of Barber venue on 18th street.
THE Misses Cotton returned from
Kansas last week to resume their
school work, at Sumner High. Mr..
n Mrs. Frank Smith are the proud
parents of a baby girl. &c. Mrs. Annie
Porter, on South 18th street, is ILL.,.
Mrs. Victoria Mcdaniel, prominent
singer of st. Paul A. NJ. E. choir. is
confined to her bed on account of ill
ness. e. Mrs. Jenus Devauld was
struck in the face with a piece of
wood, slightly iniuring one eye.
Archie Elliott fell from a two story
building on last. Saturday morning
and was severely injured. Mrs.
Daisy Holliway is recovering from. a
recent operation st. Paul A. M. E.
Church Choir, under the direction of
Mrs. Ophelia Watts Jackson, entered
the contest at Lincoln Electric Park
last week in competition with the
choirs of Ebenezer Chapel, Bethel A.
M. E. of Leavenworth, First A. NJ. E.
of Kansas City, Kansas, Allen Chapel
OF Quindaro, st. Luke of Westport
and First Baptist of Kansas City, Kan
sas, and the Dixie Jubilee Singers off
Greater Kansas City. in which con-.
test they secured fourth prize. SIS,
which achievement demonstrates that
with proper preparation Argentine
can successfully compete IN chorus
work with the surrounding territory.
The whole week of contest was gen
erously attended by the citizens of
Argentine, and especially Friday
when they attended zen masse"
Mr.. Charles Hamilton is in the
hospital, having met with an acct
which injured his eye while at
work last Friday Mrs. Gussie Locke
is gradually improving, after a re-
lapse of a recent illness. .ReRginald
Jackson, son of Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer
Jackson, who feel from a burro and
received two painful cuts, is improy-
ing nicely.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Lizzie Springles of San Fran
cisco, Calf, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs.
William Sprangles, 1884 L. 18th street,
is home on a visit to her parents af-
ter an absence of several years. She
is looking exceedingly well and is
much impressed with the growth of
Kansas City. Miss Lizzie had the mis-
fortune to slightly sprain her ankle
last Sunday, but is getting around
nicely at home and hope to be out
again soon.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
CARD OE THANKS.

The bereaved family of the late T,
H.. Whibby wishes to express their
thanks to the friends, neighbors and
pail bearers for their kindness and
assistance. Especially r they CRATE
full to the Revs. w. C. Williams, viii.
liam H. Thomas, and S. w. Bacote
for their words of comfort; the EN-.
ployees of Gateway Station, Allen
Chapel Choir, F. ]. Dawley Court o,
o. c. Damon Court, B, X. Bruce TEN,
pie and the Baptist Relief Workers
for the beautiful floral tributes and
Mr.. A. T. Moore for his personal at
tention.
Mrs. t. II. Whibby and Family.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
In MEMoRIAM.

In sad and loving remembrance of
our dear father who departed this life
n year ago today:
Sad and sudden was the call
For u dear father, loved by all;
For we never thought on that day
Our dear father would be called away.
But when you breathed your last fare
well,
The blow meant more than words can
tell,
But since the angel called you home
Rest on, dear one, your cares are over,
Sadly missed by Mother and Chill
dren, Mr.. and Mrs. w. o. Bergman.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
KANSAS.
BY Mrs. ophelia Jackson.

Mrs. Lucille Williams is slightly in
disposed. -. Mrs. Strickland returned
from Atlanta, Ga, last Saturday i'll
but is improving -. Mrs. Irene Wat
kins entertained Miss Webster of Co
lumbia, Tenn, with a lunceon on last
Thursday afternoon. Rev. Bowles
has resigned as pastor of the Second
Baptist Church and spent last Sunday
at White Oak Grove, Mt. Olive Baptist
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Alice Sweeney of Tonganoxie,
Kansas, is spending a few days with
her daughter, Mrs. Birdie Williamson,
1925 Armstrong avenue She will go
from here to Winnipeg, Canada, to
make her home with her daughter,
Mrs, Mamie Johnson, who was for
merly Mrs, Norval Wilbur of Kansas
City. Mo.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Martha Lewis and Mrs. Title
Rummons have just returned from
Atchison, Kans., where they were sud
denly called on account of the death
of their cousin, Mrs. G. A. st. Clair,
mother of Mrs. Virginia Elliott, a
teacher in the Stowe school at Kan
sas City, Kans.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

State Fair closed with biggest success
in history this year. Rev. T. p.
Paine is urging his dollar money in
preparation Of going to the Annual
Conference, September &c, which
meets in Wichita, Kansas.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
HOME BARGAINS.


Pay for your home with rent money.
You have paid for the other fellows
over and over and you have nothing
to show but a receipt. Here is your
chance and choice for only 800 down.
1O-r. frame, 2017 West Prospect
idCV' = '''''...... ,.... $1,000
2740 Highland, 5 rooms. H.. ..... 1900
Or. lilo e. 18th street. ........ 200
3-r. $40 Claremont. ......... O
4-rA2733 Vine street for, rent OF, (saIe)
7-r. 1921 Highland $4,000
6-r. 3013 Holly. 500
Of' Idzo oakley ............. 1000
4 Groom new modern Bunga-
lows, 4O4 Steptoe ST., in West
port. E. $3.50 and $500
See Us for Other Bargains for
Renting or Buying.
SERVICE REALTY CO.
727 independence Ave.
Bell Phone, Main 4464,
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

CONGRATULATIONS
Furniture loans made to honest peo-
pie. Pay back in weekly payments.
Business strictly confidential.
Bell Phone, Grand 23o3-R.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. T. B. Watkins, wife of the
well known undertaken and Grand
Master of OddfeIlows, left Thursday
for an extended visit to st. Louis,
Chicago, Niagara Falls, New York City
and Kentucky. She will be gone pos
sibly a month.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
BUckNER G. MeELRoY
TRANSFER CO.

Furniture and Piano Movers, Express
and Baggage.
Goods stored, packed and shipped by
experienced men.
The right price with truck and wagon
service.
14o4-6 Holmes Street.
Bell phone Grand 1566-W.
Home phone Main 9172.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Prof. H. r. Healing of Western Uni
versity will deliver the address at
the opening exercises of the Citizens
Forum, Sunday, September II, at New
Metropolitan Temple. Music will be
furnished by the Inter-City Band and
other talent.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

A large crowd attended the Metro
politan church Sunday. Rev. Prince
of st. Joseph, No, preached an in
spring sermon Sunday morning. Rev.
Overs of Denver preached at night.
A number of other distinguished min
listers were present.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

The Rev. DR.. Southern, the noted
evangelist of Houston, Texas, will
preach each night for the next two
weeks at the Second Baptist church.
DR.. Bacote, pastor, 10th and Charlotte
streets. Everybody is invited.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Callie Diggs entertained Fri
day. morning at breakfast Rev. E. C.
Cole of st. Louis, Mo-, and Rev. Z. B.
Sims of New Orleans, La, after which
the party were shown over the boule-
wards in an automobile.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
SECOND CHRISTIAN CHURCH.
24th and Woodland Ave,

-TFFT ~ OITuTT ENVNs
Bible school at $3.50 a. M; preach
ing and Communion at II a. M; Y. p.
S. C. L. at Z p. m; preaching at S:15
p. m, prayer meeting Wednesday at
$3.50 p. m; Christian Woman's Board
OF Missions. Thursdays at 2 p. m.
WILLIAM ALPHIN, Pastor.
A. G. NELSON, Clark.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Lewis Edward Arnett, Jr., Odessa,
Mo-, is now making Kansas City his
home and is attending the Lincoln
High School. While here he is the
house guest of his aunt, Mrs. Jno. w.
Haney, 1872 Holmes street.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. and Mrs. A. L. Odom of 2444
Montgall avenue entertained at dinner
at the Paseo Y. NJ. C. A. last Saturday,
September 8, the Rev. and Mrs. l. H.
Kelly of San Antonio, Texas, and Miss
Anna H. Jones of this city. Covers
were laid for five.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Anna Roberts, or District Su-
p~erintendent, made her first visit to
Allen Chapel Sunday School on the
10th. Allen has an excellent Sunday
School and fine corps of teachers.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
COMING

AVE. BAPTIST CHURCH
18th and Highland
MONDAY NIGHT, SEPT. 18.
"THE DIXIE SINGERS"
Jubilee and Negro Folk Songs.
Dramatic and humorous readings.
Admission 10 Cents.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. A. r. Rivers and Mrs. Lottie
NJ. Beth of Little Rock, Ark, were
guests of Mrs. Robt. Berry, 9211 Main
street, and were pleasant callers at
The Sun office.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Quarterly meeting was held at the
A. NJ. E. church Sunday. Presiding
elder preached in the morning and
Rev. Thomas preached in the after
noon, ard Rev. Hubs of New CLEANS
at night.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Wanted-Elderly lady to assist with
housework. One desiring good home
in a small family. Call Saturday, Sun
day, mornings or evenings. It's "B"
East 21st st.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. and Mrs. Taylor Holmes, 2409
Vine street, proprietor Handy Colored
Store, left for a two weeks visit in
Chicago, Detroit, Niagara Falls, Buff
falo and other eastern cities.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

= Now is your chance to get real =
y Oriental drawn work done by hand /"
= in your city by an American citi- 3"
. zen. Get your Christmas work =
" done early Mrs. Lee, 1928 Michi- =
e gan e &"
. r = = = = = 3 = = . q . = q
Mr.. and Mrs. H.. w. Anderson, 2545
Woodland avenue, leave the 18th for
an extended trip to the South. They
expect to visit st. Louis, Mo-, Mem
phis, Tenn, and Little Rock, Ark.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

FURNISHED front room; two large
closets. Modern house, heat. 3414 f.
21st. Miss Hale, Home phone East
1882.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

= Wanted two neat, intelligent
" women for collecting. Permanent
. positions to right parties. Address
" Kansas City Sun, 1903 E. 18th st.
= r. = = = = = = = = = > = . = 1
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

For Rent-A 4 or 5room apart
ment, strictly modern, steam heat and
electricity. See Kinsler, POO Char
lotte street. Bell phone, Grand 29O3R.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
10 Rent

For Kentucky furnished rooms.
Modern. us "B" L. 21st St.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. and Mrs. Richard Gaines of
Chicago and Mrs. Cecil Thompson of
Kansas City, Mo, are spending the
weekend at the Hotel White.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Little Miss Tomlinson, 1927 Wood
land avenue, has returned from Okla
homa where she visited her grand
mother and other relatives.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Pauline G.. Vaughn of Quin-
daro. Kans., underwent an operation
at the Douglas hospital and is very ill.
Her many friends pray for her early
recovery.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Minnie Payne of %Chillicothe,
Mo-, is visiting her aunt, Mrs. ]. o..
Kingsberry, 1907 Tracy avenue.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

The Annual Shreveport Louisiana
Excursion arrived here last Monday
bringing Is coaches and S77 passen-
gers. Most of them returned Thurs
day.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

For Rent-SiX rooms, modern; 244O
Montgall. John NJ. Day, 1419 E. 1S'h
st. Bell phone Grand 1413.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Jesse ]. Johnson of st. Louis,
Mo-. paid a flying visit enroute to
Omhaa.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Eva L. Braxton of st. Louis,
Mo-, is visiting her sister, Mrs. f. H.
Davidson, 1912 e. 18th street.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. r. E. l.. Bailey and Mr.. N. b.
Milligan are in Chicago, ILL.,, on bust.
ness.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

FOR RENT-A neat front room fur
nished. Strictly fodern. Bell phone
East 2047-J or Main 1850. Between
18th and 18th St. car lines on Wood
land.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Wayman Lott and daughter of
San Angelo, Texas, are visiting her
sister, Mrs. l.. X. Carlock, 1414 Lydia
avenue, for two weeks.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

AS we go to press news reaches us
of the death of the estimable wife of
Prof. c. F. Clinkscale of Topeka, Kan,
Tuesday night of Acute Indigestion.
The Sun extends its sympathy.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Little Helen Morrow arrived Mon
day morning from Fort Huachuca,
Ariz., and is the guest of her aunt,
Mrs. Callie Digs, for a few days be-
fore entering Western University.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

= Dr.. E. A. Walker announces the
= change of Bell Phone to East 1850.
. Same location, 18th and Paseo.
= = . = o = . - y = = = = = = = = & 4
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Kenyon has returned from her
trip out west and will leave the 18th
to join her brother from Chicago and
niece from st. Louis in a family re-
union in Holden, Mo.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

PAST CoUNSELLoRS' COUNCIL.
AL members of the Counsellers'
Council are urged to be present Sun
day afternoon at 4:30 at the residence
of Mrs. M. A. Kirkpatrick, 1912 Vine
street. Urgent business of strict i'm
p~ortance. By call of President,
FLORENCE E. BIRCH.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

The many friends of Mrs. Anna
Harris, who has been i'll at her home,
1715 East 18th street, will be pleased
to know that she is convalescing.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Ethel Barnes and ]. G. Barnes,
Jr., are visiting in Atchison, Kans.,
this week.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

For Rent-Neatly furnished rooms ;
modern. Bell phone Main 1873; S24
f. 10th st.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. S. E. Bean, 1882 Grand venue,
has been i'll but is somewhat better
at this writing.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. and Mrs. Dave Hickum, 1923
Michigan avenue, are the proud par-
ents of a son born September 2.
Mother and baby are feeling fine.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16
KANSAS CITY, KAS.
BY Mrs. Zenobia Nelson.

BY Mrs. ZenobIa Nelson.
Miss Ruby Hill of 1O4s Freeman
avenue is i'll.
Mrs. A. Rutherford of Hiawatha,
Kas., was in the city visiting last
week.
Mrs. J.. r. Ransom left Wednesday
for Lawrence and Topeka to visit her
daughter and sons.
Mr.. Carl Brown and sister. Ounce
Ia, attended the picnic at ~Tonganoxie
last Monday.
Mrs. ]. r. Ransom, 1880 North 9Th
street, royalty entertained the Minis
ters' Wives Alliance Monday.
Mrs. Josephine c. Buckner of Bata.
via, Ill, is the guest of Mrs. ID. w.
White, 1886 North 9th street.
Mrs. Annie Holmes, 312 State ave-
nue., is confined to her home with a
SDIdlIeu DdCh,
Mr.. and Mrs. Nat Singletary and
little daughter have returned from a
two weeks visit at their ranch at
Western, Kansas.
Mrs. Elsa Tyler, 629 Garfield ave
nue., has returned from Mackanac
Island, Mich, after a two months
visit.
Mr.. and Mrs. H. Wood, 1916 North
9Th street, will leave Wednesday for
and Ottawa, Kans., to visit her
relatives.
Mrs. S. A. Hendricks and little son.
is visiting her brother and
sister, Mr.. and Mrs. c. A. Allsbrooks,
Of S14 Freemamn avenue.
Mr.. and Mrs. Tilford Davis, 1116
Washington Boulevard, entertained at
dinner Tuesday Judge w. H. Harrison
IF Oklahoma City.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

After spending the greater part of
the summer in Colorado, Mrs. C. B.
Burton, 1414 Vine street, has returned
home.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Beatrice Randolph and Mr..
Geo. Walker arrived home from Chi
Gag Monday after a very pleasant
visit for three weeks,
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. Burgett of 1O11 Virginia left
for Memphis, Tenn, Sunday to bury
her brother.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Full line Of School Shoes at Pages,
1907 e. 18th st.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. j. H. Kenner of Marshall, Mo.
is spending a week at Excelsior
Springs and reports his health much
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Miss Rita Stewart Of Garden City,
Kansas, enroute to Nation, ILL.,, stop
ped over to spend a few days with
Miss Guineeta Brown, At 1881 Arm
strong.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

FOR RENTING furnished rooms.
Every convenience. Mrs. Smith, 1419
East 22d street. Bell phone East 2453.
Before 1880 a. m; after $3.50 p. m.
. n + > = = = = = = = . o y = i
= 25 CENTS PIANO LESSONS =
B" FOR BEGINNERS TAUGHT AT y
= YOUR OR MY HOME. CALL =
= BELL PHONE, WEST 1886. "
4 - = = = 4 . . & 4 = . = =
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

For Rent-Elegant bungalow; mod
ern. 1926 Highland. Call Bell phone,
Main 47l3-W.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Shoes for growing boys and girls at
$500. Pages, 1907 East 18th ST.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Authoress of
"BLIND BOONE, His Early Life and
His Achievements"
This book also contains a full BIZ
ography of the life of the late John
LANCE. No race lover can afford to
be without a copy in his home. A
memorial edition is now on the press
and will be out Good agents
wanted.
For information, write
MELISSA FUELL-cUTHER,
S16 Kentucky Ave. Joplin, Mo.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

For Rent-Furnished room to re-
fined young man or couple. Bell
Phone, East 4139W.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mr.. and Mrs. Tilford Davis, 1116
Washington Boulevard, entertained at
dinner Tuesday Judge w. H. Harrison
of Oklahoma City.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-09-16

Mrs. S. A. Hendricks and little son,
Napoleon, is visiting her brother and
sister, Mr.. and Mrs. c. A. Allsbrooks,
of S14 Freemamn avenue.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
KIDNEYS CLOG UP FROM
EATING TOO MUCH MEAT
Take Tablespoonful Of Salts II Back
Hurts OF Bladder Bothers-Meat
Forms Uric Acid.

We are a nation Of meat eaters and
III blood is filed with uric acid, says
a well-known author ty, who warns us
to be constantly on guard against kid
ney trouble.
The kidneys do their utmost to free
thu blood of this irritating acid, but
become -Teak from the overwork;
they get sluggish; the eliminative It's
sues clog and thus the waste is re-
tanned in the blood to poison the en-
tire system.
When your kidneys ache and feel
like Jumps of lead, a you have sting
ing pains in the back or the urine is
cloudy, full of sediment, or the blad-
der is irritable, obliging you to seek
relief during the night; when you have
severe headaches, v and dizzy
spells, sl~eeplessness, acid stomach or
rheumatism in bad weather, get from
your pharmacist about four ounces of
Jad Salts; take a tablespoonful in a
glass of water before breakfast each
morning and in a few days your kid
neys will act fine. This famous salts
is made from the acid of grapes and
lemon juice, combined with lithia, and
has been used for generations to flush
and stimulate clogged kidneys, to neu-
tralize the acids in urine SO it is no
longer a source of irritation, thus end
ing urinary and bladder disorders.
Jad Salts is inexpensive and cannot
injure; makes a delightful efferves-
cent Whitewater drink, and nobody
an make a mistake by taking a little
occasionally to keep the kidneys clean
and active.-Adv.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Knew the Drama. Too.

Father, in the hall, has been stand.
ing for an hour while Millicent and
Harold bid each other good night in
the doorway.
"Partirg," quoth Harold. lis such
sweet sorrow that l could say good
night till"
At this speech father gets a Shake
spearean inspiration of his own and
tramps down the stairs.
Seems to me-" he asserted, there
is too much adieu about nothing
here."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
PHILosoPHic E

Tn out of patience with my car"
said the fretful motorist.
"Ah! Do you ever have any tire
trouble?"
q should say SOL"
Engine work all right?"
ut balks frequently"
Maybe you need a new carr"
NO. | rather think | need the kind
Of disposition that will enable me to
endure the usual annoyances Of motor
ing with calmness and fortitude."
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Limited Capacity,

THAT chorus girl is very attractive.
I'd like to give her a small part"
Il don't think she could learn a
part"
Still, she is so pretty that | should
like to feature her in some way"
We'll, you might let her raise her
eyebrows in response o something
said, | think she could learn to do
tn It"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Not a Steady Job.

SANDY suppose you've heard
ABBOTT 'em laying MacGregor off the
docks after thirty years sairvice?
McTavish-Tut, mon! yon's his ain
fault I told him when he takit the job
'twould no be steady worrk.-Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Nice Remedy.

Nervous Neighbor-In the name of
heaven, Frau Bormann, how can you
give your little son such a noisemaker
as that trumpet?
The Lady-Oh. | only let him have
1t when he cries. to make him keep
still. Meggendorfer Blaetter (Mu-
nich).
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
SAD SIGHT.

American Contractor-These pyra-
mids have been here for some time,
haven't they?
Egyptian Guide - Thousands of
years, sir.
American Contractor-Um. Pity to
let all that material go to waste. Why,
there's enough for the foundation Of
a whole city of houses; and practical.
ly all ready.-Judge.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
Her Happy Thouoht.

Il hear your husband delights in
fishing" gushed the ELUSIVE caller
"Oh, yes, indeed" responded her
hostess. 1T was only yesterday
said to him, William, you are becom
ing a perfect anglophobe.'"
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
ProvidentiaI.

A Jewish rabbi, whose stipend was
small, was asked how he was getting
on. Poorly" he answered. IF it
were not for the numerous fasts which
religion prescribes l am sure my
family would die of Standardization.
ton Evening Transcript.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
His Fortunate Inflrmltx.

Miss Sweet-Gelday always looks
80 pleasant when he plays bridge.
Miss Dear-Yes; he's quite deaf. you
know. and can't hear the things his
partner says about his playing.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24

Reggy-I saw a very-aw-peculiah
thing In a show window the othah
day. doncher know. 1t was rn-aw'
ankle corset fob the-aw-support Of
weak ankles.
Peggy-It's too bad some genius
doesn't invent a brain corset for the
support of weak brains.
The Penn's Grove record., 1916-03-24
SURF of His Salary.

Yes. I'm press agent for a popular
star"
Better get into something where
you will be sure of a salary. The
public doesn't believe a word of that
stuff you write about the talents Of
YOU star"
Don't worry about my salary. She
believes it."