The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-06-24
Evening Chat

a special meeting Of the contrIbu.
tors Club of Fairmont was called last
night TO discuss the grave Mexican
situation and the Traffic regulations
on the South Side Bridge. These
1noulderB OF public opinion, whose
moulds are somewhat cracked occa-
sionally, behaved very well and al
though the discussion raj sometimes
warn and personal yet they adjourned
before any actual violence was begun,
such as marred the last meeting. The
following extracts from the minute
book show the nature OF the discus
sion.
Pro Bono Publico: Before commenc-
Ing this meeting wish to announce the
regrettable absence OF Patriot who
has been called to the colors and who
has responded so loyalty. It will be
remembered by all distinguished mem
bers present that Patriot went home
from tho last meeting with two black
eyes, viewing that the first chance he
got he would do some fighting. He has
luckily been granted his wish.
Republican. Yes and the poor suck.
er Is going to be brought home TO his
fond mother and his hard workinb
father In a few weeks minus a leg and
several ribs, all because Wilson want.
ed to pull the biggest buncomb job
that has ever been foisted upon the
American p%opulace. Hughes would
not.
DEMOCRAT: Gentlemen. how can
any loyal American accuse u dear
President Of sending u sons to war?
Has he not been a Price on earth eve
since that fateful 2sth Of July 1914
when the entire old world was preci-
plated into an insane war? Did he
TAXPAYER: He also thrust up
on US q foolish peace stamp tax that
would never have been necessary II
Underwood and Wilson had not plotted
before Woodrow's election to favor
rush through all possible OF Under.
woods bills II this worthy son OF AL.
ALBANIA would support him at Balti-
more in 1912.
voX P0PULI: What has that to do
with the traffic cops on the South
Side Bridge? Tom Ford and Art Kern
stood down there all day yesterday anu
bullied every pedestrian that tried to
cross, while ] stood on the corner and
counted within a half hour time TWEEN.
ty.four automobiles and five trolley
cars that exceeded the speed limit OF
six miles an hour as stated on the
sign on the end of the bridge. Why
didn't they use their authority where
It would do some good?
CONSTANT READER: What's
this l see in the papers about q mo-
torcycle cop. / would suggest that q
most appropriate man for the job
would be this fellow Speed that has
been secured to engineer FaIrmonts
development. He could combine the
two Jobs and save US q lot Of money.
INNOCENT BYsTANDER: What's
the idea in this sudden persecution OF
the hard working b%ootleggers. Pretty
a man to buy any liquor In this town.
I think the sheriff and the city police
should lay of and let Detective Con.
ners handle these cases alone.
ANONYMOUS: Don't you know
that this arrest OF all the bootleggers
Is only o stall? Don't hear Of any be-
ing locked up do you. i can tell you
now where you can
PROHIBITIoNIST: Shut up! You
know Of a lot about nothing. Do you
want to break up the meeting with
such information.
OLD CITIZEN: You all must OK.
cuBe me now as I have an engagement
to meet an old friend at half past
eight.
QUIET OBSERVER: Let him 60.
I know he is going to meet a bootleg
ger and won't be back. Speaking OF
going to war, ] wonder how many To-
cal employers OF members of the
guard will keep on with the mems sal.
pries while they are away? Don't all
speak at once.
BENEDICT: My wife Gays
DRIVER: l told you before that
what your wife thinks Is barred. Don't
you eve. think for yourself? Speak
Ing OF traffic regulations, why don't
these Fairmont authorities get next to
themselves and stop the use OF blind.
Ing headlines on automobiles that II.
illuminate everything but the road?
Most any lamp II properly adjusted
can be arranged SO that 1t will not
throw the light higher than three feet
which is now the requirement in all
modern cities.
BENEDICT: Lets adjourn. My
wife said