The Delta independent., 1916-09-22
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BALAAM.

wen uo iflluu tle StpIy Sdiu
Finnegan. "Balaam was n highbrOw
that knowed less than his Jackass. He
took an office to curse the people.
The Jackass saved them. 'Tis all In
Number Twinty-two. Och. hone! 'Tis
different these times. The Jackass
knew better till Balaam tanned him.
Lave me ride ye.' says Balaam. an
I'll make ye the biggest Ass in the
wurld.'
Great says the ASS; what dye
feed?'
Pork says Balaam.
Me savior says the ASS.
$50 Balaam mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
"'Phwat is it.? says Balaam.
Snakes says the ASS; 'Ut looks
like the jawbone NV me mother
"'G'wan,' says Balaam. hittin' the
ASS clip. It's me furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwat's ut for?' axes the Ass.
ut definds the nashun,' says Ba-
laam.
"'HowT says the Ass.
Faith; : says Balaam. ut takes q
bigger Ass than you to know that.
Lave 1t to Brine says Balaam to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on medita-
tin.
an kickin'
"'What now?' says Balaam.
Divil a Jackass ever seen the like
says the Ass. Ut could be n frog
says he, for Ut stands up in front.
and sits down behind; an It's mosly
mouth says the Ass. Ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks. that changes he says. TO
Very Crooz Red. or Niagary Blue. an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.
says he. 'Hivins. have l been drink
inf screams the ASS to Balaam.
Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
its mind he says. 'G'wan. where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan. in the
service NV Mankind. says Balaam to
the Ass. touching him up. An the
Ass shufiles ahead, wavin' his ears in
admiration.
"'Hee-haw! Hee-hawr says the
Jack. rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'
Phwat's grippin ye nowT says
Balaam, impashunt like.
81 dunno says the ASS ct looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with So
enlist Crew. he says.
".'Tis me Ship BILL says Balaam
Side step to the right he says;
side step to the left says he. well
tin him. Back up says Balaam.
near wrenchin' off the Jacks Jaw.
20 a (Ar ~
rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
laam wild shower NV blows an the
Ass goes on thremblin'.
Wah-hee! Wnh-hee! wah-hee.'
says the Jack. shyin' SO he near
threw his rider. p
"Tll learn ye to shy at me Naval
Bill says Balaam. lar-rupin' the
baste so he cud scarce stand.
"'Ye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack in
a coarse whisper
"'Ye ASS says Balaam Don't We
know that amy cloes is betther nor
nakedness? G'wan.' says Balaam. in
tones Nv thunder. So the poor baste
lopes on. limpin' wild pain.
i've not time to tell We all the ad-
ventures they had. but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros
sin ditch on wan term plank.
which made even Balaam unnisy.
Iviry time the Jack kicked. he got
short rations an wallop. So when
the journey was near over. the poor
baste was all in. and far too proud to
fight. Any JackAss can be that
when he's licked
IVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into harmony like Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on gaspipe wild the
feet.
Phwat ails We now?' calls Balaam.
clubbin' him wild both hands.
'Nivver did l pass the like yells
the Ass. sweating and thremblin'. Ut
says ut's an eight hour law. oh. phwat
is utT screams the ASS to Baaam
feebly Vaughn his ears.
81 dinno phwat ut is meself.' saws
Balaam. but l know phwat uts got.
Balaam says.
"'PhwatT axes the poor Ass.
"'F'ive hundther thousand votes,
says Balaam. wild pious air. 'G'wan.
ye big Ass. an doant We argue wild
an ldaylist,' says Balaam to the Ass.
ave can't pass ut in the dark.
the Ass. Lave us wait for
light means the Ass, weepin'.
NIX says Bnlanm. There's hot
time comm an' the votesll spile.
Do ye thurst for sixteen more years
In the wilderness? Giddap.' says he.
'purgin' yer heart says Balaam, Nv
iviry thought that's selfish says Ba-