South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-03-27
PAW PAW DIPLOMAT
Sees FALL OF u. S.
Draws Cheerful Word Picture
of Villa Capturing
Washington.

AMIfIUnI Inual News ~f-fNife-
PAW paw. Mich. March 81
Col Ezra W Blaine who admits
that he Is one Of the best informed
grocery store diplomats in this
county. has been Induced TO give
his views on the present Mexican
situation for the public. 10 was very
difficult for the reporter 20 secure an
interview with the veteran sage, IL
being necessary 10 urge him insist
emily for nearly 30 seconds before
he resignedly consented.
Like nearly every other warrior
@hO is well along I'm years. when
launched upon martial topics he
became strangely reticent The
colonel in years is well up around
30. but his memory OF former heroic
deeds. performed by him for his
country has grown keener each day.
n fact his exploits at Gettysburg
have come back 90 him so vivdly
that one wonders what Gen. Meade
needed OF a large army while he
dashing colonel was there.
Easy TO Forecast.
We asked him what would be the
result OF our present Invasion OF
northern Mexico. The ex-soldier
showed no hesitancy in replying
Such simple matters are forecastinE
future events were mere trifes to
one OF his philosophical intellect
"lt means war. sub" he said. The
--suh" he brought home with him
fTOr1 a two months enforced stay IN
confederate camp. The euphony
appealed 20 his cultured mind "Only
By war. sun can We regain in the
eyes OF the world the prestige this
peace bunk has cost us Peace. bah.
, am a warrior. SUM- and in strik-
ing the emphasis ne brandished his
cane in dangerous proximity TO the
reporters head.
Yes" answered the reporter,
guardediy cycling the cane. but do
you believe that CarranZa viii join
forces with Villa"
Cant m Done. SUN
or course not Absurd Can you
imagine any two Mexican leaders
going 90 each other. clasping hands
in ecstatic friendship and saying,
senior. love YOU. lei us join
forces Impossible. sub. utterly
utterly. That ring-tailed rGttlesnake
Villa viii continue fighting his own
battles. numbering his prisoners and
gradually increasing his army until
be finally has a large enough com
mand TO turn upon our forces. He
viii then NOV down our soldiers
like grass Then. when he marches
triumphantly into Washington--.'
What's that o." shouted the re-
porter
when he marches triumphantly
into Washington. our national cap
ital the blood Of our standing army
will add a touch OF beautiful color
10 the landscape Pres't Wilson will
he standing on the front piazza Of
the white house as PaHcho rides up
on the horse ne will steal from
Gen Funston. villa will capture
Wilson and out of regard for the
kindly manner in which our pres
ident has treated him his punish
ment viii he very mild He will be
carried through the streets on a red
hot pitchfork after which he will be
suspended by his little toe from the
top 81 Washington monument"
Calls q - Army Joke.
"But. Colonel surely YOU don't
think these MeNicans stand any
chance OF conquering us"
You heard me. sub ne answer
ed proudly. with our present laugh
able facilities for Vaging war we
would be as effective as band OF
boy scouts Why. sun in 10 year.
the congressman from this district
VIII be seEOr somebody. and the
white house viii be Villas harem.
The reporter seized his hat hastil,
and arose II must leave YOU. Col
onel -"
The colonel paid no attention bu
continued. The only way thi,
country could possibly win woula
are 10 have some OF us old boys OF
the firing line These young fell
lows don't amount 20 much Their,
aren't any more fighters ike the ole