American Fork citizen. [volume] (American Fork, Utah) 1912-1979, 1916-12-16

A AYl did you ever get reckless
and give Christmas dinner to
an assorted collection of pctrl-
~ fed relations?
Take 1t from me, lodging benzine
lcgics on the boulevard is sleepy
Ork in comparison.
Friend wife concluded IL was up to
to squeeze Il few uncles and aunts
BIO our 4 by dining room and throw
1fkey wings ut them, SO / cOaxed
~ nervous system to behave and told
jacheS to cut loose.
She sat down and invited Uncle Pc
y Grant and Aunt Martha, Uncle
3pgory Smith and Aunt Bessie. Then
e went In, took another look at
dining room and stopped.
Invited Bud Hawley, his wife Sybil,
ID Hep Hardy, and explained to them
BAT we would all have to sit edge-on
the table and get our meat cut In
kitchen, so IS to avoid hitting
t;h other on the funny bone, and 1t
Is so ordered.
Hep arrived early. He always does.
generally breezes In with the in
nation that four pages of tango
sic ere waiting for him in some
" palace, and he has TO hurry away,
on this occasion he concluded to
the fight To Il finish.
Then the other members of our din
party began arriving and the mad
vel was ON.
Uncle Peter brought frlend-the
nous food expert, Doctor Smother
The doctor is q high card with Uncle
Yer.
He is one of those old ginks with
ady eyes and license to hunt for
rms and everything he eats has
b to give the countersign and then
through written examination.
Uncle Peter believes every word
ht leaves Doc Smotherjoy's face, but
my part / think he's an old Cam
nhert.
Many rate, no sooner We're we seat
at the table than Doc parted his
hSkerS carefully, coughed 10 attract
entlon, then picked up n little-nccl;
an on the end of his fork and pro.
ded To give II the third degree.
The adulterntion of foodstuffs these
Is being carried on to I'M extent
use than criminal" the old bluff be-
solemnly. "Ah, even here | see
'es of sally.sillic acid with boraz'
sphoS even here on this clam"
Put little tabascos on it and cut
e" suggested Bud Hawley.
nave lemon" said Hep. Squeeze
yer the clans and make n wish"
Vncle Peter listened with marked at
Naon, while Uncle Gregory glanced
us clans and shuddercd.
Iae doctor ate his unconcernedly
"hen the soup came on the Doc
a spoonful thoughtfully, ther
aaed 1t slowly back into his plate
Ie the two unkies eyed him ner
Nay
us bullyon," whispered Uncle Pc
anxious to prove the soups In
nce.
nere,' said the doctor, examining
spoonful critically, "here ar,
Us OF hydrophosphates and about
per cent philharmonic acid"
never eat SOUP" gurgled Uncl,
because it's waste of goot
4e doctor said nothing more, but
Ivy surrounded his soup.
"aen the fish was served the doe
ahced over his plate with his forE
SAID "Hydrostatic acid with here
"ere symptoms of manganese
ana few sulphlde microbes"
ace Gregory pushed his plate back
H. sigh that was pitiful to hear
'sVheS was now SO nervous thai
nndS were doing n shaker dust
weFe was big pink spot oil
cheek.
~ Others ut the table, with the
puoh Of nervous old Uncle Greg
p1'u not the slightest attention Il
q Busyface.
- Uncle Peter threw away his
ear after the clam episode, anC
long chance with everything
SOUP 10 nuts.
~ w" had some turkey viii
Potatoes, green peas ant
'Sus tips.