The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-08-10
His Undesirable
Inheritance
A Clergyman's Efforts
to Get Rid of It.
By BARBARA PHIPPS

rather, his wife, had moved his effects
into the rectory, made vacant by his
predecessor, and he was In his study,
the furniture still disarranged, strug-
Cling with his next Sundays sermon.
Mrs. Chiverly came up from the base
ment. She had been much worn by
moving and had struck the usual num-
Der of snags in that irritating process.
Judging from her expression, she had
now come upon a new one Of the most
exasperating character.
"Well, my dear?" said the rector,
looking up from his work inquiringiy
and anxiously.
what do you suppose?"
II give it up"
"The basement Is full of empty bot
ties"
what kind of bottles"
whisky bottles, brandy bottles, gin
bottles, wine bottles, siphons-all kinds
Of bottles that should never be In the
house Of a clergyman. especially one
who has preached total abstinence"
Send them away" replied the rec
tor, turning again to his sermon.
what! Send them away! How
could that be done without publicity2
And publicity you know very well
would result in an awful catastrophe
to us. The town would ring with your
condemnation. Your practitioners would
be obliged to condemn you. innocent or
guilty. Your resignation would be de-
manded."
Mr.. Cheverly was evidently moved
by such injustice.
"But, my dear, these bottles have not
been brought here by US. They were
left here by DR.. Parkinson, who has
just vacated the rectory."
"Not by DIR. Parkinson alone. but by
q number of his predecessors. Quite
likely some incumbent needed stimu-
liant and started the pile. The next
added to 1t. The next, being confront
ed by the problem now before us. took
no action, and so the tide of bottles
has been steadily rising. Quite likely
It started in the cellar. It has climbed
to the basement. We cannot let it re-
main where it is, for we need the
room. Besides, IL discovered 1t would
prove our ruin"
The rector cast his eyes up to the
ceiling for solution Of the momen-
tous problem. He had been struggling
successfully with the ancient theolog-
{nof prohIap ne fnroordipotion hut thio
one of empty bottles staggered him.
"I'll tell you what you do" he said,
his expression lighting up-"get rid of
a few of them at time
"HowY
ITO junkman."
days and seen by the neighbors carry
ing out empty bottles? Oh. James.
how impractical you arew
How would 1t do to box them up
and ask our grocer to call for them
Mr.. wilkins is very kindly disposed to-
ward me. / will explain the matter to
him"
"And he will explain 1t to Mrs. Will
kins, and she will explain 1t to her
dearest friend, and the dearest friend
will spread it broadcast"
Mr.. Chiverly heaved a sigh. His
wife continued:
"T'here Is but one way out of 1t.
They must be sent to another town to
some intimate friend or relative of
ours who will dispose of them without
risk to us. Your brother Edward
would be a good person to receive
them. Once In his hands, he can easi-
" dispose of them. But we must pack
them so that no one will suspect what
the cases contain"
1--WE might put on them Glass; han
die with care"
"Oh, James! How stupid you arel"
ut would give the impression that
they were tumblers and such things"
do you suppose our neighbors. who
are ever on the lookout, seeing these
boxes marked glass, would not at once
suspect"
"I'n order the cases sent, and next
Monday you can begin the packing"
Mr.. Chiverly heaysd sigh that his
weekly day of ease after hard Sun
days work should be devoted to 80 I'M
attractive and laborious service. then
resumed his work on his sermon. while
his wife went out to continue the ar.
ranging of the disordered furniture. In
due time. the cases arrived. Mr.. Chiv.
erly did the packing and the marking.
and they were ready to be shipped. A
wagon came to the door. the goods
were carried out. and Mr.. and Mrs.
Chiyerly fell into each others arms In
transports of relief.
THANK heaven!' said Mr.. Chiverly.
They're gone"
'0h, James, you've no idea what a
load is lifted from my shoulders"
do you think any of the neighbors
took notice?'
"No; l was looking between the stats
Of the window blinds and saw no one
watching"