The Cook County news-herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Cook County, Minn.) 1909-current, 1916-05-17
Gle MAN WHO
SPOKE LAIN


Mementoes of Average Jones' ex.
ploits in his chosen field hang on the
walls of his quiet sanctum. But no.
where does the observer find any rec
ord of one of the Advisors most curl
GUS cases, running back two thousand
years; for its owner keeps it in his
desk drawer, whence the present
chronicler exhumed it, by accident, one
day. Average Jones has always insist
ed that he scored a failure on this, be-
cause. through no possible fault of his
own, he was unable to restore a docu-
ment Of the highest historical anu lit
erary importance. OF that let the i'm
partial reader Judge.
It was while Average Jones was
awaiting the break of that deadlock Of
events which, starting from the flat
d"cilor with the poisoned face, finally
worked out the strange fate of Telfk
Boy, chat he sat one morning, break
fasting late. Contrary to his impec.
cant habit, Average Jones bore the
somewhat frazz]ed aspect OF man
who had been up all night. Further
indirat on Of this inhered in the wide
yawn, CT which he was in mid-enjoy-
ment, when i hand on his shoulder
cut short his ecstasy.
Sorry to interrupt so valuable an
EXERCISE said languid voice.
But and the voice stopped.
"tEel|c, Bert" returned the Advisor.
looking up at the faultlessly clad slen-
dernl5s OF lis occasional coadjutor,
Fobcrt Be:tram. "Sit down and keep
Me awake till the human snail who's
Alphabetically ministering to my wants
can get me some coffee You said
but and nothing further. The con-
junction but: in polite grammar, or
dlnarily has cometlike tail to it,
"Apropos Of polite grammar, do you
sneak 1atin?" asked Bertram care
lessly.
MOT enough to be gossipy in it."
Then you wouldn't care to give
job to man who can't speak anything
else?"
so that's the other end of the but
is it?' said Average Jones. go on.
Elaborate"
Be.'tram laid before his friend a
printed clipping In clear, large type,
saying: when read this, couldn't
resist the notion that somehow or
other it was in your line; pursuit of
the adventure of life, and all that.
Let's see what you make Of it,
Average Jones Strengthened in his
chair.
'Latjn!" he said. And an ad, by
the look Of it. Can our blind friend,
J. Alden Honeywell, have taken to the
public rrints?"
Hardly, I think. This is from the
Classical Weekly. Baltimore publica-
tion of small and select patronage"
Him. Looks ra-a-a-ather alluring,"
commenced Average Jones with a pro-
longed drawl.
He bent over the clipping, studying
these words:
L. livius NJ. F. Praenestinus, quod-
Tibet in negotium non inhonestum qui
victun' rneream Iocare velim. Littera.
tus sum; scriptum facere bene scio.
Stipend'a muIta emeritus, scientiarum
be''i, praesertim muniendi, sum peri.
tus. Hac de re pro me spondebit
N. Aarjppa. Latino tantum scio. ST.
quis me velit convenire, quovis die
mane adesto in pubiicis hortis urbjs
9a'timoranae ad sisnum apri.
Can you make it out" asked Ber-
tram.
"tim MN. Well-the general sense.
L1vius seems to yearn in modern
print for any honest employment, but
especially scrapping of the ancient
variety or secretarying. Anybody who
wants him can find him in the Park of
the Wild Boar in Baltimore. That's
about what I make of it. Now, what's
his little lay, I wonder"
my informant tells me that Mr.
Ll7lus, who seems to have been an all
round sort of person, helped organize
fire bligades for Crassus, and was one
of the circle of minor poets who wrote
rhapsodies to the fair but FRAT Clo-
dia's eyebrows, earlobes and insteps."
Your informant? The mans actu-
ally been seen. then?"
lob, yes. He's on view as per ad.
vertlsement, I understand"
Average Jones rose and stretched
his well.knit frame. baltimore will
be hotter than the Place-as.1sn't." he
said plaintively.
Barye's splendid bronze boar
crouches, semi-shaded, in the center of
Monument park, Baltimore's social
hilltop. There Average Jones lounged
and strolled through the longest hour
of a glazing July morning. People
came and went. One individual only
maintained my permanently of situa-
ton. He was a gaunt, powerful,
freckled man of thirty who sprawled
on'~a settee and regarded Average
Jones with obvious and amused inter
Ast. In tins this annoyed the Ad-