davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

A married man may be a good ora
tor when he is down town. But he is
a good listener when he is at home
When a man is out with a strange
blond, dollar looks like 30 cents. But
when he is out with his wife, 10 cents
looks like a dollar
You may not believe this, but it is
fact that the less hair "a woman has
the longer II takes her to fix II.
Being married may have It's draw
backs. but It certainly relieves a man
OF the necessity OF sitting up at nigh,
and worrying over how he is going to
get rid OF his money
When a man who can take a-drink
or let tlt.a alone pushes open the door "
a cafe, the barkeep has the mans IA
voritc bottle on the bar and has the
drink ready TO take before the. man
gets a chance to order something soft
What has become OF the old fash
ioncd man who used TO be arrested for
speeding on his bicycle
The war has boosted the price of
other things and it is to be hoped that
II will boost the price OF Perfumes so
that some people will be compelled to
60 back TO plain soap and water
They say that beauty is only skin
deep But that doesn't prevent a Corn
Fed girl from taking up twice as much
room as thin girl
The old.iashioned woman who used
TO tell her troubles to the Lord now
has a daughter who tells her troubles
to a hwyer
There was time when daughter
liked TO brush her mothers hair. But
nowadays the only time daughter
brushes mothers hair is when daugh-
ter wants to wear II herself
/ What doth II profit, a woman to -
to church ON Sunday when whole
/ line filled with clean clothes break,
and falls in the mud on Monday morn
ing'
A man often regrets the g he paid
for the marriage license But he al
ways believes that the 81 he paid for
his dog license was good Investment,
Things are no, right IN this country
| We jail man for a little thing like
climbing porchcs, bu, We don't ever
arrest a man lor a crime like ea,inr
garlic.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Is That Sol

We don't suppose Luke Mcluke, or
the Cincinnati Enquirer, will ever take
much interest in our great national
gargs until they name ono OF the as
Sociduons the Coruledcral league --
Columbia State.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
NA-f IL -u-I-L-u-II

Your husband tells me tha, he sleeps
like log remarked Mrs Naybor
YES" replied Mrs Gahb "Hc sleeps
like a log that is being operated on by
a buzz saw"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Old Stories
In New Type
Twenty Years Ago.
teaom THE TIMES FiLgN


At the democratic convention which
closed today Major J 2. Allen was
chosen chairman and K. Q, Blakeney
secretary. On the third ballot viii /.
Alexander was declared the choice for
treasurer, J. NJ Owen was nominated
on the fifth ballot Tor register OF
deeds and W K Taylor was nominated
ior county attorney on the fifth ballot.
Miss Claudia Spencer of Yukon Is
visiting friends in this city.
Major and Mrs, T Neal OF Darling
ton are in the city visiting friends,
Miss Carrie = Scott is at home on a
two weeks visit after spending six
weeks at Ocean Grove. Long Branch and
| Chautauqua
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Money!

II money could talk you would hear us
all hOller
The tales coin could tell would make
most OF us glum
And we'd use great care where We spent
every dollar.
It saves lots OF trouble to have money
dumb
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

His whole world IL bounded by money
and clothes
or conscience he hasn't "A whit.
He thinks that the Sins OF Omission are
those
That humans forget TO commit,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Passed

81 hope to see the day when the the
atrlcal dead head viii be a thing OF the
past said the tragcdlan
why the theatrical dead head is a
thing OF the passed right now" re
Piled the comedian.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

New York hotel men announce that on account OF the
shortage OF paper the cards will he cut in size THIS
will be more popular than il the menu itself be cut
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
The Wise Fool.

when You marry woman she be
comes part OF your family" observed
the Sage
That So?" replied the Fool 81
thought she became the whole thing
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Beware the man Of vile intent.
He Is Il crook, my Ind,
And. while he Is on mischief bent.
lio goes straight 10 the bad.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Local humort says that il some Of the restaurant men
get frightened at the cost OF their supplies they will be
tempted to slice the ham with a safety razor.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw, what is a stable gov
eminent
Paw-One in which the ruler exhibits
some horse sense my son.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Wufn

The tramp who ate breakfast good
Said when he ceased 10 chnw IT,
You saw me zee your cord Of wood,
But YOU won't gee me saw II "
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

At the meeting of the directors OF the
Epworth university yesterday it was de-
eided to add chair of pharmacy to the
institution. Or {. w Williams will
be the dean Of the pharmaceutical fac
ulty and Paul Wes,fal will be the Sec
Ictary
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
THE SILVER LINING.

TIE tragic face tha, adorns the man-whop pays the hh
around newspaper office would make YOU think tha,
the present paper shortage with the resultant appalling in
crcsc the price Of paper is cloud without silver
lining
But the same condition that has put wrinkles Of worry
in M, brow may bring about contamination dcyoutb
wished hy every City Beautiful association and Ladies
Improvement society in the country ever since such
gargatuus first came into being
From those ccn,crs where theatrical oycrord, star,
the tours of their star, and more or les, mcorouS pro-
ducons into the of the country comes the new,
that serious difficulty being experienced in procuring
Autographs with which, IN letters ten feet high and colors
gay and bright, TO proclaim the coming of the stellar az,
fractions
Furthermore il is said hy December practically every
lhograph plant mus, quit work
Maybe the billboard will co. after all
Oklahoma produced l2}OOOOO barrels oi oil in i9l'
All the OF the world managed to produce OlOOOWN
barrels which would indicate tha, TN, state is the prnci.
pal factor in the industry
Campers should exercise the same precaution in put.
ting out the camp fire they would when they refuse ,c
rock the boat
Secretary Lansing doesn't propose TO have the Jap,
play in our back yard down around the Panama canal
Some railroads have better scenery in the guide book
lfhan they do along the fghi-oi@ @sS
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

You Can Put a Head on This One.
. Dear Luke What has become OF the
Cld-iashloncd boy who used to sit hy
the old kitchen fire place at night and
play Yankee Doodle on the Jews
Harp2-C Hall
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Russian proycrb says that IF you 60 20 war, pray
il you go journey, pray twice; but pray three
times ii YOU are going to be married.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Luke MCluke
His Column
HUH
Copyright. 1919.

Does It cost much to send boy to
college," asked Brown.
NO. replied Smith. "But it costs
like blazcs to keep him there"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
History Bits
One Hundred Years Ago Today.

One Hundred Years Ago Today,
lSl6-Salcm, Mass, was visited by a
great fire which destroyed score OF
buildings IN the business section OF the
city. n,
Seventy-five Years Ago Today.
lS4l-Scrlous differences arose be
tween President Tyler and his cabinet
over the presidents veto OF the fiscal
bank bill
Fifty Years Ago Today.
lSo6-A peace agreement between
Bavaria and Prussia was signed a,
Berlin, by which Bavaria engaged to
pay a heavy indemnity Tor supporting
Austria IN the late war
Twenty-Five Years Ago Today.
lS9l-Sixty-two persons were killed
] in building collapse in Park Place
New York City
One Year Ago Today in the War.
August p, l9l5-The Russians re.
tired from the Nicmen and Bobr line
Germans occupied Russian fortress q
OSSowez.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Mean Rrntel

1T seems strange to me that men
can't settle down after they marry" re
marked Mrs Gabb
"Nothjng strange about it," growlcd
Mr. Gabb How can they settle down
when their wives are always stirring
them up"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
)ur Daily Speci
Luke McLuke Saws.

Any fool can win a pot, But il is a
wise man who knows when to cash in
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Some railroads have better scenery the guide books
fhan they do along the right-oi-% %ex
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Secretary Lansing doesn't propose to have the Iap'
play in our back yard down around the Panama canal
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

The bald man moves hts comb through
mir.
And heavy IL his heart.
For YOU cannot lose all your hair.
And stlll rrtain II part
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Campers should exercise the same precaution in put
ting out the camp fire they would when they refuse I,
rock the boat
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Fifteen Years Ago.

Judge Burwell today gave out 4
statement OF the work done during the
three years he has been a member of
the supreme court and one of the dis
trct Judges oi this district There have
been ,}lS civil cases and l6N criminal
cases disposed OF and 7,07S orders OF
record made
Allyn Capron No 2l6 comprised of
veterans Of the Spanish-American war,
was organized last night in the district
court room with twenty-five charter
members
DR.. McSsenbaugh left this morning
for a visit with relatives in Missouri,
Miss Eleanor Work left today for Q
visit w,th Miss Jean Frost in Topeka,
Kan
. ! b Garrison the feed man. says that
( hay IS scarce in the immediate vicinity
Of Oklahoma CITY. At this time last year
haled hay sold for So ton, but it is
double that price today
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Tainted.

When he paid for some goods, MIR Hoo
Heard the clerk IN the store murmur:
"phew'"
The clerk almost tainted.
The money waH tainted,
For Hoo kept hts coin ln shoe
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

lines WORTH REMEMBERING
Little things console us, because htte
things afflict us-PASCAL"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Asv

That daIned PAPER IS always roast
ing me- complained the politician 81
wish ! knew OF some way to make II
lose so much money that it would
have to suspend publication"
That's easy" replied the Business
Man "All you have to do is to buy il,
and run It yourself for a few months q"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Mr.. and Mrs, Joseph Huckins jr left
today for Wisconsin, where Mr. Huck-
ms will take a much needed rest.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22

Misses Mary and Blanche Upshaw
returned today from Granada, Miss,
where they have been visiting for sew
cral months.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-08-22
Ten Years Ago.

The first move toward the formation
o the new state was made today by the
ISSUING OF the election proclamation by
Gov Frantz The election is called
for November o. There will be fifty
six districts in Oklahoma Territory and
iiity-iivc districts in the Indian Terri
tory.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-03-13
WHY MINERS WANT MORE PAY-COST OF
LIVING GOES UP so PER CENT; WAGES 26

Inquiry brings out that the cost of
household supplies in the region
have increased in the same time be-
tween 40 and so per cent. Rents
have gone up 40 per cent in ScTan-
ton in the past Is years, according
to the miners figures, and they say
the companies charge employees IS
per cent more for their household
coal
It is easy to see where the 26 per
cent wage increase goes. o.
Mine jargOn divides the miners
into two classes and suck
ers."
The pets" who, the miners claim,
are chosen for their disloyalty to the
UniOn-get jobs at 'robbing pillars, ~
which means tearing out the solid
masses of coal which are left stand
ing until the last to hold up the roof.
This enables the favored ones to
make $75 or $50 in two weeks.
Before one settles into a SNUG
opinion of the question of "recogni--.
ton Of the union" a glance at the
reason for the miners insistence on
this point might be well taken.
There is wage scale agreed upon.
The company agrees that a certain
job shall pay so much and no less.
But, when a vacancy occurs, a
cheaper man often gets the place.
There is a rule that the union can
not take up the matter unless the
man himself initiates the complaint.
He, glad to get even a poor job,
works uncOmplainingly for a wage.
below that agreed upon. In that
way the standard of living is lowered
and the unions power of resistance
to other inroads is weakened.
In the anthracite region the word,
union" is sacred.
Such is its hold upon the public
that in Wilkesbarre, where a street
car strike has been on for some time,
4, l. L
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-03-13
BY ROBERT MINOR

BY ROBERT MINOR
Scranton, Pa, March 13.-EVery
few years the hard coal miners of
Pennsylvania and their employers
fall out. Then the price of coal goes
up. The public is very much inter
ested in knowing why?
The operators say we have to pay
more for coal because of the de-
mands of the miners. Whether that
be true, it leaves. unanswered the
question-Why do the miners COM
plain?
Miners have complained of many
evils and wiped those evils out For
instance, take the company store"
once such a curse to the coal region,
only the remnants of which persist
in the east, thanks to the efforts of
the United Mine Workers of America.
Under the company store system a
very close imitation of chattel slaV-
ery was shrewdly maintained. A
trip through the anthracite hills
brings one into contact with men
who, in the old days, worked years
for coal companies without once re-
ceiving a piece of actual money-al-
ways in debt to the company with
out hope of release or even the
power to rebel They simply were
doled out what black slave received
before the civil war-their board and
clothes.
The strike of 1900 swept that
form of slavery away-aImost. 1t
still persists in the Scranton region
among the smaller coal companies.
The regulations abOlishing the
system are now evaded by the sim
pie means of putting those miners
who do not trade at the company
store to work in places where they
cannot get out enough clean coal to
make a living. Of course the miner
-, 70 10 ho
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
DOLPH EXPECTS
TO REACH HERE
LAST OF WEEK

Information was received today
from Fred A. Dolph, promoter of the
traction line north, who has been in
Huntington the last few days, that
negotiations have been opened for con
tinuing the proposed traction line
south to Hamilton. o. Mr.. Dolph ex-
poets to be in Richmond the latter
part of this week to investigate the
prospects of making the extension.
Mr.. Dolph explained to E. M. Haas,
secretary of the Commercial club. that
the delay in coming to Richmond and
the delay in making final plans TO;
the election on the 100000 subsidy
from Wayne county, was occasioned
by favorable developments in the ne
gotiations for the extension south.
If this southern line is promoted,
the proposed subsidy will be modified.
Mr. Dolph induced the court at Hun
tington to defer closing the option on
the c. B. & C. line until the proposed
extension to Hamilton. is definitely
settled. The promoter now holds the
option on this road which was to have
been closed yesterday.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19

ROME. April 19.-Italian and
French seapIanes bombarded Trieste
on Tuesday, the war office announced
today.
This was the first time that it be-
came known that French aviators are
cooperating with the Italians in air
operations. The Austrians tried to
make another aerial raid on Venice.
but the machines were driven off and
one was compelled to land
Following is the text Of the official
reports:
Yesterday one italian and three
French seaplanes bombarded the mill
tary establishments at TrieGte (Aus-
tra.l returning safely to their base
despite heavy fire directed at them.
-Four Austrian seaplanes attacked
torpedo boats escorting the Italian
and French aircraft. Four Italian ny
dro-aeroplanes delivered a counter-at-
tack putting the Austrians to rout.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
STARR OFFERS TO HELP
PAY EXPENSES OF men
AT TRAINING STATION

The Starr Piano company today an
nounced that the board of directors
had authorized the appropriation of
$3.50 for the purpose of sending as
many employees of the company to the
military training school at Indianap-
oils as can be sent for that amount.
There are no conditions attending
this gift, excepting that they be en-
ployes of the concern. Men who take
advantage of the offer must promise
to volunteer in case the United States
needs their services.
The money can be spent either in
paying all the expenses, including rail-
road fare, of one or more parties, or
can be appropriated among larger
number, who would be willing to pay
part of their expenses.
The men taken must be able to pass
the physical examination demanded
for entrance into the United States
army. Their positions at the factory
will be held open and upon their re-
turn from the training camp they will
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19

Overtures have been made to the
Richmond Adding and Listing Ma
chine company to move its factory to
New Castle. although officials of the
company said today that efforts will
be made to sell additional stock to
residents of Richmond. and keep the
factory in this city if means can be
found to finance the plant further.
The company was organized last fall
with Fred Bethard, president. It was
capitalized at $4,000 and has its
working force well organized.
The company has made proposition
to Richmond people to buy preferred
stock at 800 share, and with each
share of preferred stock one share OF
common stock is given as bonus.
The company has no Indebtedness &C
cording to reports made today. 1t has
bright future.
At the South Side Improvement as
sociation meeting last evening, A. c.
Disher OF the Disher Realty company,
which has charge of the sale of stock,
presented the proposition to the asso-
citation. and a special meeting of the
board of directors will be held tomor-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
City Statistics
Deaths and Funerals.

ADDINGTON-Mrs Sarah Adding
ton, ~, died early Wednesday morn
ing at the home of her daughter, Mrs
Lulie Flood, Roscoe street. The de.
ceased leaves one married daughter,
Mrs. Orland Flood, one married son,
Melvin Arlington, and one single
daughter, Miss Eva Arlington Funer-
al arrangements will be announced
later. Friends may call any time after
Wednesday.
JENKINS-Funeral services for
Mrs. Mary Ann jenkins will be held
at 10:3 o'clock Thursday morning at
the home, 223 College avenue Rev.
Charles Tebbetts. acting pastor of the
West Richmond Friends church will
have charge. Friends may call at any
time. Interment will be In Earlham
cemetery.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
CITY WILL widen
SOUTH C STREET

City Engineer Charles said today
the question of widening South G.
street. the approach to the proposed
south side bridge, will not be taken up
until after the board of works has
opened the street. The plat has been
made and the appraisers have been
ask to report to the board tomorrow
morning on the assessment of bene-
fits and damages. The street will be
made at least seventy feet wide, even
tualIy, but action of this kind requires
certain process of law that will de-
mand time
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
GERMAN Guns
SHELL FRENCH
FROM DISTANCE

PARIS, April 19.-German artillery
at Haudromont vigorously shelled the
French positions east of the Mouse
river last night, but there were no in
fantry action.
The French war office in an official
oommupique today stated that the
French positions northeast of Verdun
were under heavy she'll fire in the re-
gion of Haudromont The artillery
blasts indicated that the Germans
were preparing to renew their infantry
assaults in thai district but the foot
soldiers were not sent forward
The lull followed series of violent
attacks by the Germans by which the
crown prince had hoped to cut through
to the Bras Fleury road. The Germans
were repulsed at nearly every point,
leaving heaps of slain on the field.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19

be reinstated. However, the company
will not pay their wages during their
absence.
Recruiting Sergeant Bond approach
ed Fred Gennett with the proposition
outlined above, and the latter took
up the matter with the company. Ser
geant Bond will pass upon the physical
qualifications of the applicants.
This is the first firm in the city to
show patriotic zeal in the preparedness
program. 1t is expected that other
companies will follow suit
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
ROACH ISSUES
final SCORES

Final and official results of the
second annual "" efficiency meet an
nounced by physical director A. NJ
Roach this morning follow:
intermediate.
First-Casper Parker. 944 2-3 points
Russell Parker, second. SIS; Lestei
Letter. third, 7SS So.
Junior.
First-Kenneth Dollins, 9s5 10;
Fred Van Allan, second, S98 1-9; Nor
gan, third, $50 40.
Junior Prep.
First-Cecil Cureton. TAT; Mahlor
Walls, second. GIT s23; n. DIETRICH
third, $50 So
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
BERLIN FACES
CRISIS CALMLY

BERLIN, April 1e.-Announce
ment that the American congress
had been called into joint session
for an address by President Will
son on the submarine issue be-
tween Germany and the United
States reached Berlin today.
1t was accepted in all quarters
as corroborating the rumors cur
rent here for several days that a
crisis had been reached in the
relation of the two nations.
A high official said today that
the German government felt it had
done everything possible to satisfy
the American demands, and that it
wished to retain the friendship of
the United States, but that 1t could
make no concessions incompatible
with Germany's dignity.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1916-04-19
SOUTH SIDE HEARS
CARNIVAL PROJECT

Members of the South Side Improve
ment association considered propo-
sition from a street carnival company
to show on the property OF the asso-
citation during the week Of June II.
No definite action was taken, and the
matter was placed in the hands of the
secretary, Hans Kohl.
A fall festival is being planned for
September or October. and several
members of the board of directors be-
lieve a street carnival will detract
from the fall festival.