Judsonia weekly advance., 1916-11-29

Airy-o Club of America has got new plan to encourage young fellers to learn how to fly" said Louis Birsky the real estater as he laid down the morning paper in Wasserbauers Restaurant.
 What was the old plan?" Barnet Zapp the waist manufacturer asked.
 Well" Birsky replied, II suppose he took the young feller to one side and said: Listen, be a sport. You got to die some time, and long, ex- pensive sickness ain't so pleasant neither. Get 1t over quick. Learn to fly"
 And naturally the young feller wasn't encouraged" Barnet Zapp sug- 1 gested
 Naturally" Birsky said. "So now the president of the Airy-o Club says. Iooky here, why don't you learn it flying in an airy-oplane and after you graduate I would get you and two thousand of your classmates to fly from here to San Francisco, and who arrives first gets $20,O0O?"
 "Aber supposing the feller don't ar- rive first?" Zapp inquired.
 'Then that's his funeral" Birsky said
 'Well then where does the encour- agement come inY" Zapp commented. Furthermore, Birsky, this here pres ident of the Airy-o Club of America has got it wrong. The thing to do is not to encourage young fellers to learn it flying in an airy-oplane but to DIS courage 'em.''
 Well, what he said in the first place didn't sound so encouraging to me-" Birsky said.
 What he said was all right" Zapp admitted, "but he didn't lay no pipes for it. For instance, if I would be the president of the Airy-o Club of Amer ica and I wanted young feller he should be an airy-onaut, y'understand, I would find out where the young fel- Ter is working and get him fired. I would then fix things so that the girl he is going to marry wouldn't got nothing to do with him no more. Hafterwards I would use all this as evidence why his fTther ssif;fet44dd- ssf;fee throw him out of the house, and when I got the young feller absolutely in despair, y'understand, l would lay for him at the drug store and just when he is going to buy the poison he is figuring on taking, I would say to him: Lis ten,-since the war has stopped Ger many shipping drugs to America, you couldn't rely on poisons no more. Save your money and try something certain. Learn to fly"
 "Aber not considering the funny side of this thing, Zapp, why is 1t we ain't got more as one airy-Oplane flyer to Europe's twenty?" Birsky asked.
 "It's a question from etiquette" Zapp replied. lover in Europe if a young feller has got father with rating anywheres about D to F credit 1 fair, for such young feller to work for a living is considered like eating with his knife or wearing tan shoes with full dress suit. So what is a gets tired of, because you've got to use your head to play cards, and in Europe up to the present war using your head wasn't considered becoming neither. Gollef and tennis is all right once in a while, Birsky, but if feller Is hitting a ball init club day in day out, y'understand, he might just so well be hitting nail nit hammer and become a carpenter. The conSe- quences was that until airy-oplanes was invented, all such young feller could do to get any excitement out of life was to climb mountains init snow on lem or go to Africa and kill once in a while a menagerie animal like a lion or tiger. However, Birsky, after airy-oplanes was invented, flying be- came more fashionable than mountain climbing and killing menagerie ani- mals, as 1t was found out to be just as dangerous, but with less travelling expenses and more convenient to a hospital. So therefore, Zapp, for every son of millionaire in this coun- try which is working hard to carry on the old mans business and give em- ployment to thousands of operators. y understand, they got over in Europe son of millionaire who Is learning to fly in an airy-oplane and has work ing for him steady two mechanics, 8 surgeon and trained nurse.
 "Well, you couldn't blame such a young feller in especially if he is going out good deal into society,"" Blrsky said. '"The fact that feller is learning to fly In an airy-oplane and so to speak could never tell which moment Is going to be his next, Zapp,