davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Archimedes.

Archimedes was a great inventor.
One time he was taking his bath.
when the household was startled by
hearing him exclaim: Eureka"
You see, he spoke Greek fluently.
great man must be great, even
In his bath, so when the interviewers
asked him why he eurekaed so vocif
erously, instead OF telling them that
he had located the soap he hemmed
and hawed and announced that he had
discovered that the amount OF water
displaced by the human body was
aoual in weight to the same. Thus,
he disclosed the fact that in order to
ascertain ones weight all one needs
do is to get into bath tub, save the
water he displaces, and weigh II.
Archimedes also announced that II
he had a place TO use as a fulcrum,
and a long enough lever, he could
move the earth,
He neglected, however to state
vhare he would move the earth to.
He also invented the screw. Any
one who has tried to remove an old
door from its hinges may include
Arehimedes in his prayers.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Colored Teeth.

Pearly teeth are not the fashion ev-
erywhere Firms of artificial teeth
manufacturers who have an export
trade have to keep in stock molars of
every shade of color from white to
black. There is a steady demand for
black teeth in Siam. Java. Batavia, and
Burma. where the natives chew the
betelnut. which blackens the teeth.
For Persia the teeth must be abso.
lntely milk-white. Recently an order
was received from Bhavnagar in In.
dia. for some bright red and blue arti
fetal teeth Smokers teeth are regG.
larly supplied TO dentists in shades Ia
match those which have been discol
ored by nicotine
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
DRINK HOT WATER
IF YOU DESIRE A
ROSY COMPLEXION
Says we can't help but look
better and feel better
after an inside bath.

To look ones best and feel ones best
Is to enjoy an inside bath each morn
ing to flush from the system the pre-
vious days waste, sour lamentations
and poisonous toxins before 1t Is alb
sorbed into the blood. Just as coal.
when it burns, leaves behind q GER
tain amount of incombustible material
in the form of ashes, so the food and
drink taken each day leave in the ALI
mentary organs a certain amount or
indigestible material. which II not
eliminated, form toxins and poisons
which are then sucked into the blood
through the very ducts which are In
I, tended to suck in only nourishment
to sustain the body.
II you want to see the glow OF
healthy bloom in your cheeks, to see
| your skin get clearer and clearer, you
are told to drink every morning upon
arising, a glass of hot water with a
teaspoonful of limestone phosphate IN
It. which Is harmless means of wash
ings the waste material and toxins
from the stomach, liver, kidneys and
bowels, thus cleansing, sweetening and
purifying the entire alimentary tract,
before putting more food into the stom-
ach.
Men and women with salloW SKINS,
liver spots, pimples or pallid COM
plexion, also those who wake up with
a coated tongue, bad taste, nasty
breath, others who are bothered with
headaches, bilious spells, acid stomach
or constipation should begin this phos-
phated hot water drinking and are
assured of very pronounced results In
one or two weeks
A quarter pound limestone phos'
phate costs very little at the drug
store but Is sufficient to demonstrate
that just as soap and hot water
cleanses purifies and freshens the
skin ON the outside, so hot water and
limestone phosphate act on the inside
organs. We must always consider that
internal sanitation Is vastly more I'M
portant than outside cleanliness, be
cause the skin pores do not Absorb
impurities into the blood, while the
bowel pores do.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
shave A GOOD SLEEP. JACK"
Brooks Tells How His Thoughtful
Wife Provides for His Rest
Sunday Morning.

II don't care very much about get
ting up early Sunday mornings" Mr.
Ames confessed to Mr.. Brooks, his
seat-mate on the o'clock train to
town, land my wife generally let's me
sleep as long as like"
How is II when she's bound yon
shall go to church," Mr.. Brooks ask
ed.
How is It with your wife," par
ried Ames.
Along about O'Clock" Brooks re-
piled readily. my wife gets up"
Don't you stir. she'll say: have
good sleep.
Then of comes n blanket. Just
the top one she explains You don't
really need it for such a short time
and 1t will be airing
up go the windows. that haven't
been open all night, with slam. o
isn't that refreshing she cries. It's
going to be perfectly lovely day!
"She steps briskly about, singing one
of those songs so joyous that 1t puts
you out at the first Tilt.
IF that doesn't work, she drops {
hundredweight of silver stun off the
top of her dressing table on the floor
What in great surprise. Are 20,
awake. jack
81 am awake and | say So" Brooks
smile was grim. II hope she feels TIT
reproach in my voice, Not at all
Well she returns. as long as your
! awake, wouldn't you just as lief ge
upe II you will you'll have plenty o
time to wash the dog before break
fast
Ames smiled. We haven't a dog.
he said.-Youths Companion.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13

should fall in love with the only cir.
Cupid Weldon had really appeared
personally interested in. He deter.
mined to go away
Cupid Weldon interviewed. Later
IN the day he introduced Hilary to
Lucy Wall. and that was the begin.
ming OF the end, for the girl was at
Tacted by the dark handsome man.
and it soon ceased to be a secret that
Hillary Ingram and Lucy Wall were in
love with each other.
AT last came the night when Hilary
mad his blissful answer, and, feeling
Ike traitor, he sought Mr.. Weedon's
apartment, prepared to receive al
most any sort of condemnation from
his friends lips.
Mr.. Weldon was seated before a
swapping fire. for it was November
and the air was crisp. The lamplight
shone on his slightly bald head. and
shining through his straw-colored hair
made him look like a halo-encircled
cherub He arose from his chair and
held out cordial hand.
I've been expecting you, Hilary
he said, smiling.
You have?" muttered Hilary guilt.
lily How long,
From the beginning" returned
Cupid, setting chair for him and
pushing the box OF cigars across the
table
Cupid, old boy" murmured Hilary
you don't know what cur / feel!
| didn't know that day when predict
ed that when you-er-that ! would
e." i,
You miscalculated my ability as .
mixer of love philters II you though
Id let you escape my matrimonial
net, Hilary" laughed Cupid Weldon
, 1T was a put-up job on my part. ant
: ] must say that | never saw two PEG
pie walk into trap as did you ant
I Lucy"
J After Hilary had pounded his frien,
Justify, that plump young man conde
: scended to listen to Hilary's rhar
sodies. AS Hilary paused for breatl
I before beginning again, he notice,
e that Cupid Weedons eyes had los
l their careless light and were sadl
: fixed on the darting flames.
/ Cupid" said Hilary doubtfully
? you are sure-aren't you ever goin
to find the girl of your heart and 70
{ low the example of the rest of us?
n For answer Cupid detached loci
ct from his watch fob and opening /
gave it to Hilary. Within was a pi,
f ture of Hilary's younger sister. VIII
r had died dozen years before. Fl
]. was startled. for he had never su
II pected romance between them.
il Il found the girl Of my heart an
lost her again. said Cupid Weedo
d grayely, as he replaced the locke
e But | want all my friends to be {
e happy as once hoped to be"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13

Il must explain she began. I
am an artist and animals are my forte
have seen you pass with your dog
Tor days, ami ever since | laid eyes on
him | have wanted TO paint him. He
is such beauty with his long white
coat and his pert little body. That's
the reason | say this is Fate, for now
| shall have the temerity TO ask II
may use him for a model long enough
to get him sketched into the can
vas. /"
But of course you may" the man
Interrupted. Nothing would please me
more. I'm proud of Tchucaats as you
may well believe when l tell you
brought him all the way from Nome,
He is an Esquimau dog and l had
hard time keeping him the first sum-
mer in this part of the country
Il thought he had come from a cold
climate with that coat" Barbara said,
her eyes on the now discouraged
canine.
Here, Tchucaats," called the man.
Come and make your apologies to
Barbara Graham" quickly supple
! mented Barbara, a rich color spread
ing over her face.
Miss Graham" the man repeated
bowling.
And l may paint him." she asked
all her artists soul rejoicing.
Most certainly. When will yot
want him." the man asked, pulling the
ears of the animal beside him.
Barbara thought moment. III
have to find a home for my kitties be
fore | dare to bring their enemy into
the studio" she explained. Would
tomorrow do?" she asked.
The sooner the better-eh. Tchu
caats?" the man asked Il will brint
him tomorrow morning and" pro
ducing his card-"this is his owner:
name"
Barbara took the card With he
eyes on 1t she confessed to the uncon
her plea was that her one passion II
life was to succeed in her art and tina
If properly inspired she could do bet
ter work
The man understood, and left he
with the promise to bring his dog o.
the following morning
1t took only few days-for Ban
bara worked constantly-to sketch Il
the figure of the dog. and then tn
artist was forced to admit that sh
could continue the work without tn
presence of the model.
But il is no trouble for me to leav
him-if it would be easier for you,
the man insisted.
Barbara smiled up at him. Z
: course 1t would be easier. but"
D Then he shall come" the man il
a terrupted with determined EXPIRE
sion.
a Barbara said nothing. She Wa
u squeezing the contents of a small tut
Z onto her palette with wonted extrav
gance
"And-Miss Graham" the man b
VI gan, waiting for her to ansyer him
e looking up-"might the master con
some day after studio hours, and s
8 with the artist-if not for herr"
IS Yes" Barbara answered. "he mig
e if he likes"
E. John Harden sat in the rustic stud
~ many times after that, and when t
n picture his dog had inspired took
re honorable mention at the exhibit
& bought 1t to hang-in their home, /
lie own and Barbara's
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Women's Duties.

For the women of an earlier time.
their duties were not only we'll de-
fined. they were unacceptable. For US.
they are not only rather readily o.
capable, they are not even defined.
This is, indeed, broadly true Of all eth
les, whose entire emphasis seems to
have changed. The older moralists
occupied themselves with the diff
Guilty of doing ones duty. The mod
ern ones. If they want to hold our
attention, must rather consider the
preliminary difficulty of finding out
what ones duty is.-Elisabeth Wood
bridge in Atlantic Monthly.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
A,,.nmatlc Testing Machine.

The machines turned out by large
.vnewriter mandatory are tested oy
:, automatic electrical machine which
Aces TIE work much faster than nu
man hands.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Not a la Mode.

Their chauffeur seems a sober.
careful fellow
well. for tho wages they pay they
can't well expect anything else
Puck.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
a.. That. Asking Too Much

politics might be easier. saio
r1nc,a Eben "ef people would think
:. hard about de questions OF de
hour as deg does about de puzzles IN
. funny paper.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
The Reason.

our company has man in It's en-
.t.,. who Is known 10 be light-tin-
gered
.Tbep why do you Keep him.
because he is an electrician.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
ALA, Evidence.

-Nust be a general cleanup can
mus. o,D ne ON In the neishborhood-
p i.trsr so7- my cat came home t0eN
With four kinds Of fresn pam
s,rs-Kansas City Journal.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13

:, .lluyial deposits Of Madasasea.
In su hsen found skeletons OF os-
.ne me-. =" vb,ch. when alive, were four
-. 20 fifteen feet in height
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Atleast Esau Got n

Esau was a better business man
than most OF the spendthrifts. He got
the mess of pottage for which he
traded his birthright.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
sunoressInu Free Speech.

II is a happy fact that attempts to
interfere with freedom OF speech al
ways produce tremendous volume
Of it.-New York Evening Post.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Erneh National Anthem.

The Marseillaise." the national IN
snem OF the French republic, was writ
ten and composed in 1892 by Rougst
De Isle, an officer In the French army.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
conno.,.lo, q, IN. se1ptur.a

In the Bible, Old and New rsaS
ments. there are 3,5s6.47s letters, tn
500 words. 1873 verses. 1.1ss chap.
tsrs and 66 books.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13

al. D. MENDENHALL
CIVIL ENGINEERS
,ts 2l2-215 Drane Building
LAKELAND, FLA.
Dhats Land Examinations ana
| Designs. Earthwork Special
Surveys.
hence Phone 278 Black.
Phone 27S Blue.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-04-13
Sawed-OH Sermon.

Sawed-Of Sermon.
It IS said that less than 80 per cent
Of the regular churchgoers ever COM
plain of the sermons being too short.
indianapolis News.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10

do to write the and Yet nowadays
that Teller is reading magazines yet
What are you talking nonsenSe-
Sam Zarodnik reading magazines
2,nn exclaimed. sam couldn't cVeh
read electric signs in words of one
| syllable, like Lunch and Cafe l
| said he was moving away from 9TH
! Street on account Of other people
raadinr magazine stories, BirSky,
! vhict if you read anything from mag
| a2inrs. Birsky, you would know II
| THAT every magazine has got in it AZ
least two stories where the scene Is
loid in n studio close to Washington
Haturr, ana what nearly happens III
them studios, according to the stories
Birsky, has created such a demand
for studios close to Washington
Square that all the furriers and cheap
clothing contractors has got to move
away from there; and the Old rull'
IDNn HOUSES llltS tHNh w oNNNb -
being made over into studios and filled
with magazine readers at rentals
which a furricr or a clothing contrac'
tor would consider high for a %sprinkled
ii]rroroof left with two elevators II
Iigilt on three sides"
".Aher what does all the people want
studios for" Birsky asked. "They
ain't artists, are thcy?'
Listen. Hjrsky." Inpp said. "If all
the people which rented studios in
New York was artists, understand,
the competition in the picture painting
business would make the cloak and
suit business look like it was run by
a y%irtuOuS monopoly. AS n real es-
tater YOU should know it, that from
reading magazine stories a lot of pe0-
pie has come to consider as a studio
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10

l. "And yet you say people gets soou
idpps out of magazine stories, BlTShS
commented.
Il said they get ldees," zapp admit
ted. but not always GOOD ideeS' fof
instance when them mining people
RIM off that strike there in Colorado
they got their idceS from a serial story
bv the name The Guilty Dollar when
mt the time he bought it the tIttGd'
zine editor said vas terribly cXaGger-
atnG. because in this day and Srn'r-
alton, y'UnGprStand, when p miIil"L-
nfrp has got sense enough - make :"
hundred million dollars in p'atlhHm
like Senator CaruthcrS-Stccl trap
Carrutnrrs, they used to call HIM on
the Platinum ~EXchange-it stood 10
reason that he wouldn't stand for his
associates shooting down strikers ana
their wives and children in cold blood,
Birsky. The magazine owner diSo
Says 10 lnP dutliol VIA AN ""
ought to be ashamed to write a story
where an American mine owner pald
foreign mine workers such a miserable
wages, y'undcrStand, and that ter
writing such an exaggerated ami uil~
true story he couldn't give the author
the regular amount for the story, but
paid him S35 for it, which the author
figured WAS ut the rate of &c. an hour
for his work. Later the magazine
owner got to like the story better, SO
naturally when them Colorado mining
people reads on the front page OF the
magazine that The Guilty Dollar IS
Il marvellous, gripping, genjuS-inSpired
story of the Iowa Platinum Mines,
understand, and is Il mastery and
accurate study of the problem Of mlh-
ing capital and labor, they want to
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10

find out what it is about. First the
Acting General Manager reads it and
| says to the Second Assistant Vice
president: what some people wouldn't
do for money. And to make Il note
in the story they used machine guns
on the strikers. When the Second As
SiStant Vice President got through
with if, he said that Il Teller who could
Imagine such a rotten state Of affairs
in any big industrial community was
a tiger in human form and made d
memorandum of the bull-ring idee, the
shutting off of supplies to the strik-
erS, including milk for their babies,
and II or two other pointers about
strikes, and then he passed it on to
the Head Actuary and says to him
that no wonder people hated the trusts
when such lies We're allowed to be
printed about them, and that he
Should look over the story and report
tomorrow morning at the latest what
could be done to equalize the wages
of the foreign mine laborers II in
Colorado with the foreign mine labor
ers in the story"
"Aber don't people get no good idees
out of magazine stories!' Birsky
asked.
WELL" Zapp said, Il myself got a
couple designs for waists from maya
zlne covers and ! figured ! made five
per cent OF the regular cost of the gar
ment Or the goods l didn't use in the
neck and sleeves"
You could have made more than
that If you would be rs sparing with
dress goods as the artists that draws
some magazine pictures" Birsky said,
II a lady would select the kind and
amount of clothes that some maya.
2lhe artists thinks plenty sufficient for
their pictures, and if she would wear
Such clothes on Fifth Avenue. Zano
before the patrol wagon arrives. she
would attract a crowd of twenty thou.
sand people"
But there wouldn't be no magazine
readers among them" Zapp retorted
The magazines has given people ver1
liberal idees in the matter of dress
ana etiquette, Birsky. Yes, Birskv i
lot OF people have changed their WIN
OF living from reading magazine stk
RES, Some of 'em moves into otbE,
heighborhoods on account of it. TaA
Tor Instance, Sam Zarodnik Of zarI,
NIX and karpas, in the fur busines
n Sam tells me he is going to moSf
from 9Th Street to Goth Street"
It's funny how people ]change4,
blrsky said, "Ien years g when II
roonlk Il karpas signed checks. XII,
pas
pas and it was as much as Sam conlf
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10

a romance of international interest
IS interviewer in the recent marriage
Of Miss Margaret Preston Draper Of
Massachusetts and Prince Andrea Bon
compagni Of Italy. His eminence, Car
dinal Gibbons, q close friend Of both
families. conducted the marriage serv-
Ice, Miss Draper having been recently
received into the Catholic church.
Following the service a nuptial mass
was held. This unusual privilege Of a
mass In Il private house, which for the
day was a private chapel, is one of the
favors bestowed by the pope on the
family of Boncompagnl.
The princess Is known In society cir
cles all over the world. She has lived
in many capitals abroad and was pre-
sented at the Court of st. James. The
prince is a member of the Boncom-
pagni-LudOvlsi family which has fg-
ured prominently In the history Of Italy
since early In the twelfth century.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10
Birds Stop Gas Supply.

Menominee, Wis.-TwO little spar.
rows caused every gas user In Menom.
tnee to go without gas for several
hours. The birds built their nest in
the outlet pipe Of the water tank
through which the gas is passed. Dur
Ing the heavy rain the tank overflowed
because the nest cl0gged the outlet
pipe. The overfowing Of the tank dis
arranged the apparatus and shut of
the gas. The nest was removed later
and the gas supply restored.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10

any cold water fiat above the third
floor without elevator service and
within ten blocks Of Washington
Square, and in changing over such
flats into studios, Birsky, the only dec
Grating that the landlord must do is
to raise the rent from $50 a month
up to $50 u month, payable strictly in
advance"
"Well," Rirsky commented, dts
time somebody done something for the
real estate business in New York"
Z2pp disregarded the interruption.
Another idee people gets from mag.
azine fiction" he continued, "is that
Spectacles amt a matter Of eyeSight
no more, Birsky. They come under
the head of clothing, and a young fell
Ter that reads the stories in an up-to-
date magazine would consider himself
practically naked if he was e on
the streets without his rubber tired
Spectactes. Then again in former
time a young Teller was lucky if he
mad three suits Of clothes, y'under-
Stand-his working clothes, his best
clothes and a suit Of clothes he kept
TO go lshlng in, supposing he ever did
20 hshIng-aber nowadays not alone
does young feIIers like to act in real
life like the young fellers in maya
I'M stories, but they also want to
look like the Illustrations. An un-to-
date young teller has got q different
suit or clothes for every purpose men,
TONED in a magazine story, even If
he has to go without lunches to do it.
Yes, Blrsky, the magazine artists
which Is always drawing pictures from
d young man in a full dress suit, a cut.
away or a tuxedo leaning over a
grand piano While q lady is playing
her hardest to keep the blood circulat-
ing so she wouldn't freeze from the
waist up, understand, such q maya
zine artist is doing more to make
young men who are good dressers
raise checks and practice d~ouble-dou-
PIE SRtry than all the poolrooms, race
tracHs, poker games and roulette
Raeelam AQrghYe ex-~
wesailafter all, zapp," Blrsky said,
magazine stories has a bad tndlk
:: ::M::ii!!@seg!|n!r.e g|s{l S::6E[!9 l' 4!
Vne b tired sTectacfe business
neither" WH0rESArr
"Anddow about gollefY'r JRirsky
asked K! y994PGEEE H0M
zaaf, sonqu5$2%#s;esoesss16EStt3st
az r41rtsiss|gghtlpai& oh'ra4
| Copyright, New York s-ibare.)
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10


"a flaming onion? Well, that looks
for all the world like an ~eight-candIe
power electric light bulb coming ut
YOU. Then al of u SulIrn it breaks
into nice little ribbons of fire that dart
and tIoHt through the air like SO many
blazing Scrp"nCS. They are very dis
agreeable, these onions. Their one de-
sire in life is to set YOU uhIaze and
explode your petrol tank"
one thing the American always has
10 remember over here is that GaSo-
line, OF just plain gas Us the motor
lists and flying men call it at home.
has no place in the English lexicon.
II is 'petrol."
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1916-11-10
Wedding Rino EXEMPT.

Yonkers, N. 'Y.-Judge Beall upheld
Michael Stelm's refusal to give up his
wedding ring to satisfy a judgment
for $72.
Martinsburg W Va evening journal. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1913-1920, 1916-03-07

gas, John T Nadenbousch, Jerry
Bechley, Paul Gruver, Rev DE-. w. {.
Gruyer, Page Sencindiyer Claude
Mason CLYDE NJ Anderson, Cedn
Reynolds, Edison Baker Gilbert
Pierce, zenephon Andersen, Robt.
DeGrange, ]. L. Daniels, O. NJ Ram
sey. Robt KershneT. James H. Kerk-
hoff, Roy {. Pearrell, Albert Gerling
Geyer, Guy B. James. Bruce Weller,
H. G. Bowen, G, L. Hollis, ]. P War
renfeltz Roy Bowers Frank II. Kline
H. P, Thorn, G. f. Allen, Claude W
Stewart, Jra Jack Dyche, WI acr T
shoup, Guy Hetzel, Chas. Watson.
Edw. Chapman, H. S. EuIanE5, Ell
mer Bremen Robt Mcdonald clyde
Delaney, George Coyle, Harry Butts
Earl Johnson, Wesley Collier May