davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

that the VsePresidnt himself is permitted to rome at large ovver the country and promise the plain peepul in case of his electsion what he will do for them. In this regard he can go as far he likes for no one will hold him to enny strict ac- countabillity in it's not dun The VisePresdint be reckless with his promises as the new hird gur is with your best china and theere won't be enny back. Of corse, it's perticuler easy stunt to preside that peevish and turbulint body the United States senit. But at the time afur one gets the hang of it evvery thing will as smooth as meeting of the Doughturs of the Americon Rev vol,lson when they air eecting a new presidint. Aftur the Senit is adjourned the VsePresidint with the consciencessness of days work well dun; nuthng to wurry him. the Mexican situason can go jump in the lake so far as he is consumed; the Uropean war is a thing to be deplored but it's diplo matick tangles him directly little as the prise of muffs at the equator The quaficasio h. necessary to becum Wise Presdint is moor or less promminense in state favvorite Sun and the ability to sit pasienty and listen to lot of hybrow stuff day in and day out.
 Theere ought to be assosiason formed called say. the Amalgamated Sosiety of Surviving Wise Presdnts for the purpose of elevating the possion to s1mthing wurth while T. Roosfelt, Esq, did to boost the Wise Presidnsy, probabully, than enny uther persun. It job long as Teddy had it. beleeve me But heere is the Honorabull Charles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

But suppose this bureau had had in it's a machine which, when placed within a room would produce upon a transpired within that room within the past "A hours. (And Lord grant that no such machine will ever be invented) Would the report of the organization have been so encouraging? Don't ask me T merely put the question to you with out the least desire to discuss it further.
 Only 195 female flat dwellers Historically were arrested each month in 1915-says the report-and one can hardly help asking why they did not arrest the rest of 'em. But in answering this question they tell us: why. in 1914 only 10 a month were arrested very good, Eddie.
 If we who criticise New York had to control it-but let's talk about something pleasant.
 Is there any one down south ambitious to enter the moving picture field? (No an- swer required) Well, let's take a look at the situation as we find it on Forty sixth street, which is film row, and in one building of which there are located half a dozen or more big film corpora tions
 These corporations advertise for every thing from a dope fiend to burglar, and it is claimed that they procure the real articles they go after. Cripples, when employed, get $lO day for working be- fore the camera, and ordinary ''extras' get from g to 8.
 If you care to break into the game it is easy-there are only about 5000, appli- cants a day to these corporations, so all
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

In religion, or in politics, or money,
 Use your judgment, let your caution
 have it's say.
 For, believe me-and the fact is far from More than half of us are crazy, anyway. Do not catch too much of anyone infec-
 tion:
 Guard yourself against the common,
 modern trend,
 For whoever leans too far in one direction, Will be sure to lose his balance in the
 end.
 A glance through the want ad columns of some of New York's daily papers would convince anyone that this is the city of loneliness There is no issue of any paper which carries want ads which does not contain the advertisement of some one who calls himself or herself Lonesome.
 Here is a frequent one: Wanted, nice furnished room in the - section, by young man who is very lonesome. Would prefer private family who appreciate good companionship."
 And there are many others along the same line. Of course, some of these are paid for by affinity seekers who hope to break into a private family and get away with daughter-or two. But in many instances they are put in by men who are really and genuinely lonely, and who want to get with someone who will permit them to talk more or less about themselves, in most cases.
 The epidemic of pneumonia and la grippe here has resulted in an order to enforce the anti-spitting law, and has added thereto a regulation against sneez- ing in public places. regret to say that both laws will affect New York women.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

reward of sum kind. It is hard for the Presi- dint to make mistake-his record must be good one, mattur what happens, if he is good feller and all of our Wise Presidints have been good fel
 lers If enny thing happens thinks about
 jumping on the Wise Presidnt about it-not at all If our forran reasons air tied into double bow knot, no the Wise Presidnt for being re- sponsibull for it; he has to do with our for rain re1asions than the ise Vise-Presidint Mar shall has maid good Wise Presidnt fact it would have been impossibul for him to do utherwse-he is prinse of good fellers; therefore, he could not have maid bad Wise Presdint if he had wanted to.
 It seems too bad that our VisePresidnt has to do than is attached to that offse No little curly heded boy, frecked fased boy tow headed boy with the intellectual droop in his frayed panta- looms is patted the he'd by the Mayor, the Presiding elder, the walking deligate and corraged to obey his muther and honur his fathur love his teecher so he will up and becum grate and good man and perhaps Wise Presidnt of the United States The Wise Presidint's gratest use to his party-whatevver it may be-is during the elect sion. Then his picture is stuck up along side the picture of the cannydate for Presidnt the Hon. orabu Horasio A. Prune in stenitoriam tones ac- companied with frantck jestures will appeel to his feller citizens to support those peerless leedurs Wilsun and Marshall Roosefelt and Johnsing or whoever the sed Horasio mite be for. Then it is too
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16
OnerOuS Duties of
 Vice Presidents

w. Fairbanks, of Indanny, the home of Wise Presi- dnts, who, while making a fine Wise Presidint, Wise Presdints go, has continued himself with liv- wing quietly his record and uther assets, mostly uther assets cents that time It is trew that and then sumboddy thinks about him and men, sons him for sumthing uther, but almost rite sed little boomlet curls up and expires like the last gurgng whisper of bath tub Charles Warren is hefty citizen too in spite of his whiskers-he is an abu and broad gagged man, but his turn as Wise Presidnt put crimp ill him for all time to cuIA Aftur has been Wise Presidnt and gets of job without evasion to the White House he mite well becum a polytca sage, oracle or sumthing. He's through. Mr. Fairbanks has dun rite well in the sage and oracle bizness, but folks who have engaged off and on in that bizness for yeers testify that that has little increment in it. don't know just why used increment here, but it is a good word and had it in my system, and it had to out
 S1mone has mensioned Hennery Ford for Wise Presidint; the Jitney Ticket I suppose. Well Henery would make fine Wise Presidnt he's qual- flied arite Enny boddy who preside evven for few weeks, the Peese ship and thru without the loss of leg and with his escutchion still work ing tho badly damaged, ought to manage the United States Senit with grate eclaa and have it eating of his hand in few munths. Of Henery would have to gard against going to sleep while Senatur
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

that is necessary is to get in line, wait your turn, or your turndown, and start to work, or home again, contented. Very recently the wife of man whose name is we'll known throughout this and other countries, wrote to one of these film corpora tions, offering herself as available screen material. And she had had stage experience, too, having travelled for some time with a well known company in sue cessful play, taking prominent part therein All she received was brief note of regrets-there were so many applicants, etc In fact it is as easy to break into the movies up here as it is for a rich man to go through the eye of camel-- or something of the sort I doubt if some of the producing companies would con slider contract with the Kaiser.
 Fair and Warmer is said to be one of the naughtiest comedies now running here. It tells all sorts of affinity af- fairs ludicrously, but daringly and is drawing full houses, for the time is not vet when naughtiness shall fail to attract the theatregOerS.
 STEADY! In these troublous times of fads and
 freaks and fancies,
 When the world is going forward like
 a shot,
 Trying ev'rything from war to fancy
 dances
 It is hard to tell what's right and what
 is not.
 Ev'ry fellow seems inclined to go the limit With each idea he develops more or
 less,
 But 'twere best to let your judgment sort
 of skim it, e Ere you risk your final dollar on a guess.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16
CHARTING ALASKAN SEAS

tions to determine just where they were and to aid them in surveying the waters.
 Surveying like this has been already done in the Alaskan waters over a ter ritory as big the state of Missouri, In some parts of this area the waters have been tested at every few feet and you can tell the exact depth over which your ship has to sail. In other places the soundings are far apart, it having been taken for granted there was no change in the bed of the ocean be- tween them. This does very well for the smooth parts of the sea bottom but it does not do for much of the waters of Alaska In the Panhandle, where I now am, the islands are really half sub merged mountains, and the ships sail in and out above the needle-tipped peaks of a great mountain chain. These mountains have spires and cathedrals of rock, and in ulaces there are rocky obeisks that rise to the height of the Washington monument or higher When such shaft comes out on an island it is covered with green and is a delight to tte eye of the tourist. When it rises from the bed of the ocean and it's peak is still concealed below the surface it is the terror of the navigator. It is then one of the deadly swords of old Father Neptune, ready and waiting to cut the heart out of any ship that comes in it's path.
 These rocks are often of such small area that they escape the soundings of the coast survey. They can be detected only by the wire drag, which, sweeping along at a given depth is sure to strike against them if they rise above the height at which it is gauged.
 The first wire-drag vessel used in American waters began it's work about 10 years ago on our Atlantic coast, and the government surveyors have been working there ever since. In this time they have discovered more than 5000 rocks with less water over them than shown by the charts, and about 1000 of those are dangerous to navigation. All were in waters that had been previously charted by the coast survey.
 Here in Alaska large number of pin nacle rocks have been unearthed by the wire drag. Capt. John A. Daniels the engineer with whom I went out this morning, has located 21 great stone spires along 42 miles of this channel and right in the course of the steamers One of these rocks is of the shape of a pyramid, and it rises from the bottom of the chan nel to height of 500 feet, or almost 50 feet above that of the Washington mon ument It comes within + feet of the surface of the water, and is surrounded by deep water on all sides. The channel had been charted by the coast survey,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

Gallingur giving long and lerned dissurtasior the tariff, otherwise he mite wake up at sum startling climax and absent mindedly inturrupt the Senatur by enquiring of him, if he had Our new 1916 Model yet?"
 Enny how insist that it should be commended to both of the grate parties of the countrythe or the uther of them destined to be in control of the Guvvermint-that the offise of Wise Presdnt of the United States, While dignified and important becawse whoever fills it mite becum Presidint-be maid reel honest to goodness phase of importance. Let the Senit elect it's presiding offiser and make the Wise Presidint part of the working organzasion of the Guvermnt Give him job wheere his talents may be used to sum advantage. Enny Senatur can preside the Senit-not that the presiding off of the Senit is not grate, honorabull posision but it would be graur if the sed presiding off could take part in the deliberations of that boddy and cast his vote enny and all subjects.
 The Wise Presidinsy could be maid reel live and active adjunct to the Presidincy if party would take the t~bble to do 1t. Then it would no longur be phase to burry prominint statesmen. Not that of our promnint >catesmen could not be buried sum phase without much loss of sleep the part of the peepu but those ant the usue kind that get to be Wise Presdint. Think it and if you agree with me, I'll try and have it attended to.
 Yours trooly,
 BILL VINES. Washington, D. c.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

but this rock not marked. If the lead struck the rock it probably slipped off into deep water, at the side, or it may have come in between two soundings and have been missed altogether.
 It is interesting to see how the wire drag works The chief boat has a wind lass operated by the engine. About this windass is the telephone wire which Is to be let down and stretched across be- tween the boats far below the depths at which ships sail. This wire is sev- eral miles in length, and it is run out according to the width of the channel which is to be tested. The wire used here is stretched across a. channel up to two miles in width. The horizontal drag ging wire is supported by vertical wires which fall from large buoys. and it is held at the proper depths by sinkers and floats. The buoys are really galvanized iron buckets of perhaps 10 gallons ca pacity. The buckets are sealed, and, be- ing full of air, they float while support ing the weight of the wire beneath. The floats are of cedar They look like the rolling pins with which bread is made They hang to the wire and aid in keeping
 
 It takes boats of about 40 horsepower to move this submerged wire through the sea, the average speed of the drag being about a mile and half per hour Not withstanding this, as many as l5 shoal spots and rocks are sometimes found in one day.
 When the drag strikes a rock the place is marked and another surveying party develops the area about it. A buoy or float of some kind is then anchored there to show the danger and new record is made on the chart.
 Up to the present between one-third and one-half of the main channels of southeastern Alaska have been explored by the wire drag. The work will be prosecuted steadily and as fast as the appropriation by Congress will war rant
 Most of the vessels in the coast stir vey service in Alaska are only fit for the scrap heap. Secretary Redfield has rightly called them 'unseaworthy old tubs" They are without wireless equip ment, deficient in modern appliances, and some are so poor that they can be safely used only in protected waters. The Me Arthur, to which I have referred, is over 40 years old. She has been nick named the "Chinese Shoe" on account of her shape. She is only 20 feet wide and 120 feet long, and her speed is about seven miles an hour. She has to use a steam launch for her surveying work. but it is so frail that she cannot hoist it on board.
 The Gedney and the Endeavor are in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

From weakness now and then, From thee I've gathered courage new To battle on again. In loneliness a comfort thou,
 And sympathizer sweet, Who, many time, hast helped me win A victory from defeat: And in thy wreaths of blue and gray. That hover low above, I've seen, on many a lonely night, The face of her I love. It may have been thy mystic charm, And yet twas she I'll swear, And, gazing in her eyes, I saw
 The same old love-light there; While soft from out thy curling clouds, Her voice reached my ear I'm waiting, waiting still" she said. And still I love thee, dear An, dear, old friend, with thy good aid, I'll battle to the end, And know, though all men be my foes. ; I yet have one true friend; And thus, though all the world is drear, And with misfortune teens. I'll find a solace with thee still
 My Brar-and my dreams.
 And New York seems to think that dreams are about all the fellow will get who leaves the girl behind and goes forth to conquer alone as witness the fol- lowing actual conversation:
 Are you married?" she asked me.
 NO, I came up here to seek fame and fortune, and left the girl behind. When I have won them shall go back and bring her up here to enjoy them"
 ''oh. so you're one of that kind. And you think she'll wait for you?"
 "Certainly--I shall win and she will wait"
 How thin the ice is on the lake this afternoonr' and she skated gracefully away from me.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

ting so good, according to John D. Rockefeller's Bureau of Social Fly gene that it would be foolish to buy any more aeroplanes-we'll all soon have wings of our own A 50 per cent decrease of vice within the last two years-that's what the bureau tells us, and were it not for the fact that no bureau is absolutely infallible in it's work and estimates, some of us might begin to feel horribly encour- aged.
 But, the bureau prefaces it's every state- ment, and all it's figures, by the words, s'There were found." An. Already you begin to get me, and I feel that we are en rapport on this matter. There were found"--but what of the vice the bureau failed to discover? For we all know that there isn't a bureau under heaven, formed for purposes of detection, from which that which it endeavors to detect does not hide most cleverly. Why, vice is so adept at ths game of hide and seek that it would not surprise me to find some of it secreted in this own bureaus archives.
 And so, ia spite of the fact that this particular hureau is headed by John D. Rockefeller (which, translated. means, "All-kinds- -ol lmoney'D. there are those of us who are still bit skeptical with re- gard to this reported social metamorpho- sis of Manhattan and betterment of Brooklyn andthe Bronx.
 Even big naney and awe inspiring names are nf always successful in the detection of ice They are more often successful in fe creation thereof. though
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16
Soldiers Noisy Dreamers

From the New York Sun.
 London.-Landladies of lodging houses near by the railroad terminal such as ictoria and Waterloo are becoming diff fdent about taking in soldiers just back from the front, particularly those who have participated in the recent fighting around Loos.
 The landladies say the poor soldiers fight the terrible battles over again m their sleep and the shrieks and hys- teria are enough to shake the strongest nerves.
 Many of the men who took part in the engagement are afflicted with the most horrible of dreams and somnambu- listcally slash and kill the Huns to the terror of all the other lodgers.
 Figures are unobtainable but the cases of nervous breakdowns during the last few weeks have reached high figure.
 Even officers have been affected, and men who have stood up under the strain since the early days of the war say that the sights during the recent offen- sive are too terrible for mention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

light erected 10 years later. There are now on the whole Alaskan coast line only 329 aids to navigation, and these include about 140 lights, of which 2S were es- tablished in 1915 Thern are but few lighthouses and only three on the main travel route from icy Strait to Nome, 8 distance as far as from New York to London
 At the present Sme the government is awake to the dangers of Alaskan navigation. It was only last year that President Wilson called attention to the necessity of exploring the waters and erecting lighthouses, and today Sec retary Redfeld of the department Gt commerce has number of new move ments to that effect under way. He is constructing a first class coast light on Cape St. Elias. This lighthouse is being erected on the south end of the island of Kayak, one of the most inn portant points on the Gulf of Alaska. It is where the boats, after leaving the Inside Passage, pass on their way into Prince William sound and Seward the terminus of our new railroad. The light house is to cost $115,00lO. It will rise 90 feet above the level and will be equipped with a lamp of 1S0,O00 candle power, which can be seen more than b miles away The light is double flash which bursts forth every 20 seconds.
 The government is building several new vessels for the improvement of the Alas kan waters. One of these is to be for the lighthouse service, and it will be ready for work in May 1916 It is being constructed at Long Beach, Cal. It is to be called the Cedar. The boat will be a double -bottOmed schooner -rigged vessel 200 feet long, 36 feet wide, and with dis placement of 1750 tons. It will draw 13 feet of water, and have speed of F knots an hour. It will be constructed of steel throughout. It will be lighted by elec- tricity and will have radio outfit of the most modern type.
 Secretary Redfield is having a new coast survey vessel built on the great lakes, especially for the Alaskan waters. The boat will be taken down the lakes, out into the Atlantic ocan and by way of the Panama canal to Alaska It will be place of some of the old tubs known as the coast survey vessels. now in the serv- ice.
 Another government ship which will be in Alaska next season will be devoted to the protection of the fishing rather than of navigation. This is the Roosevelt the vessel made famous by Peary in his north polar explorations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-01-16

We have, enjoyed outdoor skating on naturally frozen ice during the week. It is more than interesting to visit one of our lakes at such time. Not that you see anything so wonderful on skates, but you can see hordes of photographers lin- ing the banks endeavoring to catch "ac- tion," as well as motion pictures of the society women on ice.
 Funny how these movie and even non movie camera men get in everywhere. IT you want the entree too any place in Manhattan. just buy moving picture machine carry it with you, under your arm, and even the traffic policeman will be civil to you.
 From policeman to pipe dreams is something of a leap, but one can never account for a rhymesters route-he has no reason-and so, we'll just discuss mos mentarily:
 MY OLD BRIAR. Old friend of mine-for such thou art
 1 never can repay The service thou hast done for me
 Through many a dreary day; Full often hast thou borne my lead,
 Thy head within the yoke, And bade the worries that I knew,
 Go up in so much smoke. Whenever trouble comes to man.
 And such must ever be, He seeks, at once, a real friend
 As | have turned to thee; And never hast thou faltered yet,
 Nor failed to grant release To my poor woe-imprisoned heart,
 And bring me rest and peace. I've turned from others unto thee,
 When others proved untrue And thou hast whispered soft to me-
 Forgive, as thou should st do." And though fatigued and faltering