The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1916-01-22
SUNFLOWER PETALS.
Pluei.ed BY he Golden Bel, Spectator,

General Francisco Villa, since he has
refused to listen to the President.
oooo
Lyman D. Wooster says that ne can
predict the weather yesterday accor-
ding to the Government report
oooo
When man becomes independent of
the weather he does not need a Thomas
Jefferson to declare for him.
The paragrapher who makes observa-
lions for the SaIina Evening Journal
writes as though he had formerly lived
in Hays. He says that many men are
born with table manners, some acquire
them, and others perform per the
nudges from their wives.
A tracer should be sent out for the
word Eyes" Yeh, yuh, yup, yah, yeh,
yep, va, and grunt are the modern
substitutes.
B. P. Walker, the editor of the Os-
borne County Farmer and Of Irrigation
Board fame, in his Musings of the
Village Deacon last week paid his re-
spects to the Spectator. He said, sit
amounts to very little and is only
within, but I do hate to see smart and
intelligent men part their names in the
middle. get communication every
week from a gentlemen signing his
name (name of the SPECTATOR
1 know I would pay a whole lot more
attention to what he says were his let
tiers signed with that modest name,---
(initials only.) There is a silent i'm
preston abroad in the land that the
fellow who parts his name in the mid
die also parts his hair in the middle,
uses a powder puff and sings tenor"
The Spectator has never seen Deacon
Walker and has not been seen by him
He therefore wishes to inform the dea-
con that although he does not part his
hair in the middle, use a powder puff
nor sing tenor, he does wear pompa-
dour, plays golf, and reads Browning
and Ibsen. The Spectator further al
leges that he has the impression that
B. P. enjoys sitting in dentists chair
knows the reach of Jess Willard, and
shaves his neck.
oooo
Clad H. Thompson says that the
thermometers of the government are
conservatives. Perhaps Clad is right,
they were bought under the Taft ad
ministration. 1t is to be remembered
that the wind gauges were purchased
while Bryan was in Office
Fannie Brice at the Princess in New
York in Nobody Home" has made
hit with her song, Any Old Night
The thing that puts the song across is
contained in the two lines,
''Any old place is wonderful place
If you're there with wonderful
girl"
Gaby Deslys is appearing at the Globe
Theatre in New York in "Stop, Look,
Listen" 1t has been said that the
Stop and the Look refer to Gaby
and that the Listen" refers to Irving
Berlin who wrote the Lyrics and the
Music.
There are no ugly women; there are
only women who do not know how TO
look pretty. Berger.
oooo
If certain foods produce criminal i'm
pulses the banana is one of them.
5000
In the last year Hays has increased
from 21OO to 2339 in population. This
is from 69th in the state to 55th. In
this same time, during 1915, Ellis has
come from goth with 1923 to 96th with
1857 and Russell from 102nd with 1405
to 87th with 1901.
The probable impossibility in Roose-
welt and the impossible probability in
Wilson is the problem which now seems
about to confront the average man
along with his struggle for existence.
5000
liz W I1O LOSAIdICO IL IOSI ID LIZ
motto of the Debutante Proposal Club.
of Brooklyn, each member of which
must ask some man to marry her.
Miss Adele HUM is president.
5000
He who hesitates in a romance has
at least chance at an even break.
5000
There seems to be an impression
abroad IN the land that man who sings
tenor is a sissy. Nothing is a greater
libel 1t takes a man with wonderful
physique to be a tenor. Witness the
powerful animal force of Caruso, Mura-
tore, and Dalmores.
ooOo
No, the Spectator does not sing tenor.
oooo
Some one has said that to have the
most ability means to keep all that one
gains and get more.
oooo
Bank deposits in the United States