The Blackfoot optimist., 1916-12-28
FlNNECAN'S PHIL LOSOPHY
Pur0in0 the Heart

freshin' jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on horn an ivrythin' falls for ut.
II the people call him liver so soft.
Little Samuel had no quicker ear. An
for sacryficin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocrcy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
'Tis his Presbyterian bringin' up,
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts policy;
thin he thries to justify it, thin he
sanctifies it wild phrase, while choir
iv Dishurvin Dimmycrats sings a
hymn. An there We are. justification,
Adoption an Sankty-ficashun.
'sThe choir med great harmony whfn
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Bill
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
iv the life iv the great Idaylist.
Harvey went back to editin' an Bill
Brine wint in search iv the HOwly
Kale. McCombs was canned, because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing u
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
ON Tariff ragtime. But Wudthrow die
grated thin all. Wild f'what say We?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross.
O-ho l mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what WudthrOW
calls the vital stuffs iv life.' Stone an
McAdoO; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redfield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
'Wudthrow is fond " music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced a Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear sound.
"Well, wan night in August the
Colonel come tiptoein' in through the
basement dure.
elbows the game, Colonel? says
Wudthrow. 'So-so,' the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an
absent air.
"'Aint I got the full dinner-pail's?
axes Wudthrow. anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and
half says House pleasantly. 'Aint
KEEP em out o. warp axes Wudthrow.
Part O. tn time says House rubbin'
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. 'Aint my voice our
greatest liquid asset?' axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says House,
but lot iv suckers can't tell a asset
firm an li'bility, the Colonel says
"'F'what are We drivin' at says
Wilson, four flushing little.
"'Arre ye watchin' the striker says
House. Half millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
swell. Sir, he left Wudthrow sunk
spakes. I hear he says, in low
sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is to me as the vice of Car
negie Penshun.' Oh he says thrill
lin in ivry nerve must indade sacry-
flee wan more idol says he, 'on the
altar iv me Counthry!' says Wud-
throw.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says
AN the Tariff for Rev'noo,' he says
AN all me friends, beside says he
sixteen per'fly good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enoughy he axes
in agony. But l will purge me Heart
| iv ivry pers'nal fought says he
startin' for bed. AN before he re
tires, he takes Heart Purge iv his
own invinshun the way it III wurI
while he sleeps. l dinnaw f'what the
purge is. 'Tis secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. Ht
wanted great sacryfise Of pur
rinciple, dear to his heart, but he'(
used most iv thin already, an he fell
that this was no time for second hant
or slightly damaged sacryfises. S,
he sends for House. Colonel say.
he, 'F'what pur-rinciple d'yr thinl
great morel imargincy?' he axe
| anXlOuSly.
"'Whisper,' says the Colonel. Ant
he said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear
and faded silently away through th'
dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stu'
spellbound. Thin he burst into
whoop; "The Ram in the Bushes
cries he wild tears iv jy.
"T'was an impressive ceremon
whin the sacrytise was solemny-ise'
at the Capitol.
"The procession started f'om tn
White House wild the Prisidint walkir
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan han
an box iv Safety-First matches il
tn other. He was followed by COO
bearin' four gold pans, and behin
came four Union Chiefs ridin' on mil
white steeds followed be a group j