davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-04-20
MOVED
by FREDDIE FILM.


Back from my fishing trip, and
ready to devote time to movies
once more. | might say for the
benefit of those nimrods who are
planning to visit lakes and
streams soon, that the water ia
too high for any successful
angling. Anyhow, it's great sport.
They're making quite fuss
about those undraped ladies who
cavort about in "Undine," the big
fairy picture at the Apollo. In
some of the pictures the SWIM
ming maidens are distinctly
clothed for summer weather, and
the police censors say it is shock
ing.
Manager Moore is chuekling
over the scoop" he scored when
he signed up Charlie hCaplin's
burlesque on Carmen" which
comes to the Colonial all next
week. The picture is causing
riots in Seattle every day, so anx-
ious are the movie fans to see 1t.
1t is the first Chaplin release In
six months.
Mary Pickford continues to be
the favorite with the fans. She's
returning to the Melbourne to-
morrow In THE Englishman and
the Girl" one of her most pleas
ing successes. On the same bill
will be THE Heart of Tara" with
Margaret Gibson and William
Clifford. Helen Gibson COM
pletes the bill in a daring railroad
drama, Tapped Wires"
John Barrymore is appearing
In one of his best comedies at the
Colonial this week, "The Lost
Bridegroom" In the role of the
young bridegroom who gets lost
on the eve of his wedding, the
famous actor is a veritable
scream" 1.-The Woman's Law
dramatized from a novel pub
lished two years ago in the Amer
lean magazine, is another feature
of the bill.
H. B. Warner may have been d
success in Alias Jimmy Valen-
tine," but he has done far better
In his latest drama, 1.-THE Raid
ers," appearing at the Regent. 1t
Is drama of Western life, and
Warner is most capably assisted by
Miss Dorothy Dalton and big
Triangle company. "An Oily
Scoundrel," Keystone Triangle
comedy, Is great.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-04-20

and less bone while base-running,
they would have won the game.
The score.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-04-20
WARNIxGi

The man or woman who falls
or refuses to examine the prices
on our stock of groceries willfully
throws their money away.
PACIFIC 0ROCETERIA
1916 Pacific Ave.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-04-20

score. Ills blow-up in the eighth
caused four singles IN row, and
the inning ended with five tallies
for the Stadium team. Score:
II III f
Stadium .......... 8 3 2
Lincoln ............ 3 . 3
Batteries: Burkhart and Ken
nedy: Piper and Kelley.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-04-20
PACIFIC COAST
Standing or the Csnba
Games Yesterday.

Games Yesterday.
r II E
Salt Lake ...........13 IA 0
Portland ............9 IL 2
Batteries: Hughes and Han
nah; Noyes, Higginbotham and
Roche, Fisher.
r II r
San Francisco ...... 1 z 3
Los Angeles ........ 5 IL 0
Batteries: Brown and Brooks;
Perritt, Hogg and Boles.
II II e
vernon ............ 0 9 0
Oakland 2 z 0
Batteries: Hess and Whaling;
Boyd and Elliott.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
MAY ORGANIZE SQUAD
OF SOLDIERS TUESDAY
Meeting to Be Held to Sound
Sentiment-lntereSted
Parties Invited.

Men and young men of Misha-
waka who are interested in the prop
osition Of organizing a volunteer
company Of soldiers in the city will
have an opportunity to show their
patriotism and get in back of the
proposition at meeting to be held
in The News-Times Office next Tues
day night.
For several days since the massa-
ere of American soldiers by Car
rama troops. the project has been
talked of, and many inquiries con-
corning il have been received at The
News-Times. In order to bring the
matter TO a definite head and under
standing this meeting has been call
ed by those interested in the prop
ositiOn.
Several prominent soldiers Of the
Civil and Spanish-American COM
bats have consented TO attend the
meeting and say a few words 10 the
boys about the matter. Hon. +. A.
Jernegan, one of the most enthusi-
astic members of Houghton post. c..
A r. and editor of the Mishawaka
Enterprise, has given assurances of
his presence. II. +. Strubbe. health
officer. and prominent Spanish
American war veteran, will be pres
cnt to talk, provided municipal bust
ness does not interfere. Hubert
Nifong. retired regular army non
commissioned officer, the suggestor
Of the proposed company, will be
present and will explain the fea-
lures of the proposition.
If enough interest is shown, and
sufficient number of loyal young
and old men attend the meeting
Tuesday night. the company will be
organized and will make application
&c the United States government for
rifles to be used for drill purposes.
About 40 men will be needed 10 in
sure service with the regular troops
and militia should the need arise,
and if the project is given any kind
Of n boost at all it should be an easy
TASK 10 get 40 members for the COM
pany from city of 5000 inhab-
itaats.
South Bend is having trouble in
raising $50 men TO go to the front
and now is a good opportunity for
Mishawaka to get the jump on her
big Dcishbor and show that she is
not lacking in patriotism.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
RIVER PARK

A meeting of the Truth Seekers of
the NJ. E. sunday school was held
Friday evening at the home of Miss
Dorothy Davidson. y. sixth st. Fol-
lowing the business session the time
was spent socially. Miss Clea An
dersOn won honor in the drop word
contest. Miss Elsie Aker was a
guest The hostess served refresh
ments.
In two weeks Miss ora Hubbard.
1921 Mishawaka ave will entertain
the club.
Miss Nellie Ferris entertained a
few friends Friday evening. The
evening was spent informally, and a
twO-course luncheon was served.
Miss Irene Bollinger. of Goshen, Ind.
was the guest Of honor.
Mrs. A. Brown entertained Nth an
informal dinner party yesterday.
Covers were laid for nine.
Rev. and Mrs. A. ". Smith. Mfsha-
waka ave. entertained al luncheon.
-iday, F. L. De Coudres. Of North
Liberty, Ind. and Miss Nell WATSON.
OF Waveland. Ind.
A call meeting of the River Park
Independent club was held Friday
afternoon with Mrs. William Ault.
one new member was admitted 70
the club. and all unfinished business
was completed for the years work.
The club Will meet July Is with Mrs
Burt Hardy.
Mrs. II. r. Brooks. y Eleventh ST
entertained the Finch club Friday
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
LOCAL COUPLE WE'D
At KALAMAZOO, MICH.
Miss DonnabeIIe Martin Be-
comes Bride of Two Huns
berger Saturday.

Ivo Hunsberger and Miss Donna
belle Martin, two well known young
people of this city, mOtored to Kali
amazoo. Mich, Saturday morning,
and were married at the Methodist
parsonage in that city. The bride
was prettily attired in a gown of
pale blue taffeta trimmed in Lace
and pink rosebuds and carried a
shower bouquet OF brides roses.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hunserger returned
10 Mishawaka Saturday afternoon
and this evening a reception will
be given in their honor from to
9 o'clock at the home of the bride 5
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Martin,
us +. Fifth st. The interior Of
the Martin home will be decorated
with St. Joseph lilies and roses. A
dinner will be served Covers viii!
be laid for 40 guests. Among those
who will attend will be Mr.. and
Mrs. George Grain of Kalamazoo,
Mich.
The groom is the son of Mr.. and
Mrs. Joseph HunsberEer. 12G +.
Seventh St, and is employed at the
Studebaker plant in South Bend.
Mr. and Mrs. Hunsberger will go
to housekeeping in the groom's
neatly furnished home at 512 Carl
ton St
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
LOCAL FANS WANT GAME.
WITH SOUTH BEND CLUB.
Suggest Ball Bands Battle
LeaguerS-WOuId Be Good
Drawing Card.

Considerable conversation has beer
going the round of local sport circles
for the past week on the question OF
arranging d game between the Ball
Band team OF the Factory league
and the South Bend Central league
club.
Mishawaka boosters are inclined
t0 believe that the local club could
give the Benders a most interesting
articles and back up their talk with
promises OF big bets.
A +. Gardner. director of the
local team. when asked concerning
the matter, said that he had heard
the proposition discussed by mem
ters OF the team. but that the fac
tory heads had taken no action on
the matter He said that in his
opinion a game with the Benders
would be a good attraction for that
club as hundreds Of Mishawakans
would attend such a combat. He
does NOT believe. however. that such
q contest could he arranged before
the end Of the Central or Factory
league seasons.
Central league clubs DO not Sraw
many open dates during the playing
ee;ueou. ana would probably not want
20 plas tire locals until the close OF
fhe season. Mr.. Gardner said that
whichever team won the pennant OF
the Factory circuit. and he believes
II VIII be the local squad. would eX-
pertence little difficulty i'm landing
q game with the leaguers. IL Mish-
awake ahOuld win the penna mt
Springbrook park would have 10 Toe
enlarged TO accommodate the crowd
'tar ting 10 witness such a game.
Special cars for the Ball Band
Singer game az Singer park viii
leave Main and Lincoln way at
O'Clock this afternoon
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
SOUTH BEND TO PLAY
BALL BANDS MONDAY
Schedule Game With League
CIan-RaIph Willis
to Pitch.

Vow for the big killing. EncOur-
aged by the publicity given the mat
ter in The Nevs-Times, and urged
ON by the ball players and fans, the
Wooden Co officials went out and
scheduled a game with Ed Smiths
Central leaguers. Monday afternoon
at 3:15 at SpringbrOok park the big
doings will take place
All season long the fans have been
clamoring for such a contest but it
was not believed that il could be ar
ranged until the close of the Central
season as very few open dates crop
out on that circ0it. Smith. realizing
that the game Will be a big drawing
card, postponed his combat with
Evansville to take on the local
squad.
Local fans are inclined TO believe
that the Ball Bands will give Smiths
gang an awful battle and should
they get any breaks in the luck
might be able TO slip a victory over.
Ralph Willis, star hurler of the
locals, is anxious for a shot at the
leaguers. Early in the year he tried
out with Smiths squad and was re-
leased. not even getting a fair
chance to show what he had.
Since then he has been anxious TO
try conclusions with the Ed Smith
team. and the fans will be for him
when he takes the mound Monday
afternoon.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
PUGH CO. EXPECTS
TO OPEN IN AUGUST

Myer Newfeld. special representa-
tive OF the PuSh Stores Co, Chicago.
who has been at the Hotel AIisha-
waka for the past few DAYS. visited
several OF the smaller towns con-
tiguous 10 Mishawaka Friday and
viii leave for Michigan City this
morning. He will return 10 Chi
.cago Monday. Speaking Of his mis-
sion here. which is 10 establish one
Of the branch stores of the COM
panr. Mr.. Newfield said he had
reason 20 believe that by August
next the Pugh stores would be rep
resented I'm Mishawaka II is under
stood that he succeeded in obtain
ing a location and that only a few
minor details have yet 10 be ar
RANGED. Mr. Newheld is no stranger
10 Mishawaka. having visited here
several times previously. The COM
pany is about 10 open one Of its
branches in Michigan City. end II
is i'm this connection that Mr.. New
field goes there today.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
SEEKS $4,000 DAMAGES
Mrs. Elizabeth BUday Brings Actor
Against Imre ZOrad.

Suit 10 obtain $4,000 damages was
instituted in the superior court Sat
urday morning by Mrs. Elizabeth
Buday against Imre Zorad for ma
licious prosecution. The plaintiff al
lCges that she was arrested once on
blind tiger charges, the affidavit be-
ing signed ~ Zorad. which later was
dismissed, and again arrested for
larceny. On this occasion she
charges the warrant was sworn out
by Zorad alleging that she stole
$3.50 fom him This second charge,
according TO the complaint, was like
wise dismissed
That she was compelled TO suffer
the humiliation of being brought
down To the police station between 3
and o'clock in the morning is one
of the allegations mentioned.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
NJ re HANTS PICNIC
MEETS WITH FAVOR
First Celebration of Its Kind
Will Be Held During
Warm Weather.

The proposed business mems pic
mic. as suggested by the heads Of the
Business Mems association. has been
received with much favor through
out the city. and will in all prob
ability be held some time next
month. Pres't Ray Winey and Vice
Pres't Schuyler Sprague of the assO-
citation are heartily in favor Of such
an outing and are laying tentative
plans for the carrying out Of the
idea. 1t has been suggested that
the picnic be held on a Wednesday,
as on that afternoon each week
nearly all the grocers' and butchers
places OF business are closed, so that
the owners and clerks could attend
the outing. 1t is intended to make
the occasion one of much enjoy
ment. and IL is considered likely that
every store and Office in the city will
close, at least for the afternoon. The
annual picnic Of the Scotch Thistle
and as il has been the big event Of
it's kind the past few years, il is
thought that this proposed celebra-
ton would fttingly take its place.
IL is expected that some place
will be selected which is of easy ac-
/ cess. and that sufficient automobiles
will be secured 10 convey the pic
nickers to the rendezvous. pro-
gram of events will feature the af-
ternOon. for which there Will be a
generous prize list contributed b.
/ the merchants. AS soon after the
| Fourth as is possible the matter viii
be taken up and discussed at one Of
the weekly luncheons at the Hotel
| Mishawaka.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24

afternoon Following the games
luncheon was served. Miss Grace
Hunsburger was a guest The next
lake. $. Eighth ST
Walter White Of Chicago is spend
ing a few days with friends here.
Mr. and Mrs f. w. Evans and
daughter Miss Pauline Evans, and
son sammy. Mr.. and Mrs. William
Straub, returned Saturday from an
outing at Eagle lake, Edwardsville,
Mich.
|. Mr.. and Mrs Harry Denyes and
sons Gaylord and Ralph and Miss
Ethel Rice, Of Dowagiac. Mich, who
spent the past week here. left Sat
urday for Indian lake to spend their
vacation.
Mrs. Fred Kramer was in Wood
land Friday
George Fellers, Charles Henry, Ru-
dolph Hage and Charles Gray left
today for Lagrange. Mich.
5. A. Branaman, Of Enron, O.. who
has been visiting here the past week
returned TO-DAY.
MIS- w IMAM MOSel. CnUOIQ CT,
left today for Lucerne, where she
Will attend the annual reunion Of the
Witte- family. TO be held Sunday at
the home of David Witter.
Mrs. 3. Schneider of Canton, o.,
arrived here Saturday for an extend
ed visit with her daughter Mrs. o. E.
Rogers, y. Smith St
Amos Bussert, of Rochester. Ind.
is a guest OF his son, Ambrose Bus
sert and family, S. Sixteenth ST.
a daughter was born Thursday
to DR.. and Mrs. Arthur Knapp
Mishawaka ave.
Mr.. and Mrs. 5. c. Judson and
daughters Glendora and Zettella, Mr.
and Mrs. c. Ream and daughter Mil
dred, motOred to Howe, Ind. and
Sturgis, Mich TO spend the week -end
with friends.
Mr.. and Mrs Adam Hunsburger
s. Tenth St. who have been visiting
at Richmond. Mo. for the past ten
days, returned Saturday.
J. r. DeFreece will leave the first
of the week for a months visit in
Canada.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
MAN GETS BIG FINE
ON ASSAULT CHARGE

John Sheedy was handed a fine of
$50 and costs in city court by Judge
Feig Saturday morning. when he was
found guilty of assault and battery
Upon Wilbur WoOlbertOn.
Sheedy came to Mishawaka Fri
day with Mrs. WoolbertoE, from De-
troit. where she testified they had
been living together as man and
wife When Woolberton learned of
the affair he started out 10 get
Sheedy and have the matter settled.
II was settled. but not the way he
wanted il. and Sheedy was arrested.
lie was unable TO pay the fine and
was given 50 days in the county
Jail.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
WILL OBSERVE
MISSION FEAST

The annual Mission Festival will
be held at st. Peters German Lu-
theran church Sunday. There will
be German service at 1890 o'clock
Sunday morning and at 1880 in the
evening, English services. Prof. c.
PurZer OF the COncOrdia COLLEGE at
Fort Wayne. Ind, will give both
sermons. The collections will be
for the benefit OF the home and
foreign missions.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
BUY REAL ESTATE DIRECT
FROM OWNER.

7 have several houses and lots.
ONE ready 10 move into at once /;
ocant lots in best locations. close
3D.. also acre lots or as many acres
f- YOU may desire. adjoining the
.ty. Can sell any OF these properties
oo the best OF terms and at the right
price HomS phone 81 or sS.-Advt.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
PART II.
3YRL LAD0W MARRIES
MISS MARIE HATFIELD

Byrl La Dow and Miss Marie Hat
field. both of this city. were mar
ried in st. Joseph, Mich. Saturday
morning at the parsonage of the
Methodist church. The bride wore
a pretty white suit and carried
roses.
Winnie La Dow 331 Laurel St, and
is employed at the National Veneer
Co, while the bride is the daugh-
ter of John Hatfield, 913 E. Grove
ST.
Mr. and Mrs. LaDow have re-
turned 10 this city and for the pres
ent will make their home with the
groom's mother.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
HERE FROM TEXAS.

Mr. and Mrs. Frank White Of
Amarillo, Texas, have arrived in this
city and are the guests 1Of the for
mer's parents. Mr.. and Mrs. William
White. 43O W. Battell St Before re-
turning to their home in Texas, Ley
Will also visit relatives in Warsaw,
and Milwaukee. Wis.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
BAND PROGRAM FOR
SATURDAY NIGHT

Following is the program of airs
to be played by the Wooden Co.
band at the corner of Lincoln way
and Main St. Saturday night,
weather permitting:
PART 1.
Mach. n. Y. Hippodrome. Sousa !;
Overture. Morning, Noon and Night,
Suppe; Waltz, Danube Waves. Ivan
niei; Medley. Remick's Hits, No. 16.
Lampe; Characteristic, Kangaroo
Court, st. John.
PART II.
Overture, Hungarian Comedy,
TObani; Grand Selection, Faust,
Gounod; Song. My Little Girl, Won
Tilzer; Fantasia. Tone Pictures.
North and South, Theodore Bendiz;
Star Spangled Banner.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
TWO HOMES GUARANTEED.

Chester Ostrander, 13-year-old son
II Charles Ostrander, 1902 Lincoln
way w. is i'll with scarlet fever and
ne home Eas been placed under
quarantine by Health officer Strubbe
The home OF Frank Zilmer. 126 W.
lattell st. has been placed under
luarantine for the same disease. A
,0ung boy is the patient
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
"R00KIES" MAY ENLIST
Invitations Sent Out to Members of
Plattsburg Camp

NEW YORK. June 25.-The for
nation Of a volunteer division 10 be
composed OF men who have had the
advantage OF military training at the
Plattsburg camp is proposed in a
circular sent out Friday 10 each OF
the $4,000 men enrolled for Platts-
burg instruction. by the Militia r.
Training Camps association q the
United States.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
BANK CLEARINGS JUMP
Show Increase of S9i2.253 Over
Same Week i'm 1915.

Bank clearings for the week show
ed a gain Of $912,253 over the cor
responding week in 1915. The total
clearings were $2,445,S53 while for
the same week last year. they were
S1,527,5S4. The clearings each day
We're: Saturday. $377,612; Monday,
$2S1,702; Tuesday. $318,427; Wed
nesday. $57O.4S6: Thursday, $685.
1871; Friday, S31O,SS3.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
SPORTING ITEMS

international News Service
DES MONIES, Ia. June 24.-Ten
drivers were expected TO be sent
away this afternoon by Starter Fred
Wagner in the 150-mile automobile
sweepstakes at the speedway here.
This list may be added to, should
the tTyOuts of the morning bring
more qualifications. The proba BILE
starters IN the event are:
Ralph De Palma, Mercedes: Eddie
Rickenbacher, Maxwell; Earl Coop
er, Stutz; Pete Henderson, Maxwell:
Frank Calvin, Sunbeam; Dave Lewis.
Crawford; Ralph milford, Super
Six; Wilbur D'Alene, Deusenberg;
Eddie O'Donnell, Hotchkiss Billy
Chandler, Crawford
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24

JACKSON. Miss, June 24.-Mis-
sissippfs national guard will leave
for the border as soon as the federal
mastering officer pronounces them in
shape TO leave.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24

international News Service:
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. June "a
Fred L. Beebe, baseball coach of the
Indiana university club, has signed
a contract with the Cleveland Amer
leans.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24

NEW YORK. June with the
racing shift to Aqueduct today, the
running of the historical Brooklyn
handicap will mark the days events.
Ten horses are carded to go with
A. Miller's Roamer, favorite at , TO I.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
international News Service:

international News Service:
CHICAGO, June 24.-Vic Safer,
the Cubs first baseman. had 20 put
outs in yesterdays game with Gin
cinnati. This is within three of the
major league record held by the late
Jiggs Donahue, who put out p play
ers in a White Sox-Yankee game in
1905
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS.

FOR SALE - Sixteen foot motor
boat in good condition. complete
outit cheap for cash. Call Home
phone S5.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24

HOT SPRINGS. Va, June "a
The annual summer tournament o
the American Golf association o
Advertising Interests has been VOL
by r. j. Ross of Dunwoodie. VIII,
defeated z. T. Miller of Apawamis
5-4.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
FUKNIsHED ROOMS.

FOR RENT-Furnished rooms suit
able for light housekeeping and
sleeping. Home phone BIOL; 1O4 f.
Sixth ST.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-06-24
MlSHAWAKA CLASSIFIED
WANT ADS
FEMALE HELP

FEMALE HELP.
Observation-Disclosures woman for
plain housework Phone Home
422. Bell PAP.
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.
FOR SALE-PrintinE shop; must
sell this week on account of sick
ness. will sell az bargain. Inquire at
Hutchinson. III l. r.. First st.
The Lakeland evening telegram., 1916-10-11

That he wouldn't hear the boys who
Were Juggling off the ripe melons.
4 don't know what he thought
When he saw that field in
Tie light of the early morning
but ] imagine it was the way
Those vessel captains felt
Mhen they found that the
German submarine mail-carrier
Had been keeping the folks laughing
While there was some deviltry
Going on in various particulars.
NJ they weren't so awful dern
Particular, when you think it over,
Talk about doing things upon
The dead quiet and also in
The dark o. the moon.
Why, that sub-work was tn limit!
We have subs in the Office of
The Morning Post that work overtime
Rut the Germ sub that started
"Subbing wholesale and retail
Seemed to be willing to work
Both overtime, underline and alltime
I'm betting that henceforth
For some little period to come
Every time a Goldfish rises for air
Outside the three-mile limit
land makes a noise like herring
Trying to ring a dead telephone
Every vessel within radio distance
Will elevate both wings
And try to fly to the yon shore.
Yassum.
Mind you, this aint endorsing
The act of sending ships suddenly
Down within the deep
Although that is the nearest land
But l have to admire the nerve
Displayed by the underwater craft
In coming right over here
Just as proud as man when
He gets out of hospital
After having a delicate operation;
| This subsidized submarine business
Sort of makes me sit up and
Make a noise like wireless telegram
Tor a correspondence course
In horse-shoeing, or something.
But really, there's lot of folks
That would make good watermelons
Who wouldn't be worth darn
At the submarine business.
And I'm one of 'em, I think.
| Yassum.
I thank you.
Thorn in Palm Beach Post.