davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
Wellington Cross Says:

Everybody is in the movies these
days. Some pose and some expose.
In the latter class is Annette Keller
mann
The difference between her and the
girl who poses in the fashion plate
reel is that one poses in filmy garments
and the other in garmentry films.
They made twilight sleep film, but
the mayor wouldn't permit it to be
shown in public.
With some other show people l was
performing before the inmates of the
Massachusetts state penitentiary. One
gray-haired convict shook hands with
me afterward and said: 81 can't find
words to tell you how good it seems to
hear the old jokes once again"
asked him how long he had been in
and he said twenty-five years.
thought | was little nearer up-to-date
than that. He told me he was writing
motion picture scenario himself. In
fact, he had finished it and it was ready
for release. He was releasing il
through an outside concern. That's a
little deep, but l think it's pretty good
myself.
This convict was what they call a
trusty. He was like new feature
tllm-he was having limited showing
previous to general release.
| l wrote another scenario for a Los
Angeles film company that had a men
! agerie and wanted to work the ami
mails. So | wrote "Perils of the For
est film. in which the hero was to be
eaten up by a lion. 1t was to be the
real thing. The hero was an actor who
! had got sour on the company's hands
| but he had a fat contract and they
couldn't break it. So they started in tt
feed him to the lions, in the hope thai
he would resign
So | wrote the scenario for them
with the big scene where an angr,
lioness comes upon the hero and de
yours him.
Something went wrong when the,
tried to take that scene The liones!
wouldn't come out of the brush. They
looked into her nest and saw that sht
had given birth to twin lion cubs.
! l asked the camera man what h
thought about it. And he said it wa
probably due to double exposure.
That reminds me of the triple ALI
ance and the quadruple entente an
how Henry Ford tried to stop the wa
between them. | don't believe in ridi
cullng Mr. Ford. 1t is true he didn'
succeed in stopping the war, but h
kept it from spreading They say tina
Spain was just getting ready to hi
Norway with rotten tomato wheI
Ford came between EN- and made 'en
ashamed Of themselves.
I'm not opposed to seeing Ford in tn
presidential chair myself. ! think h
rather deserves it. But if he doesn
get the presidential chair I'll bet h
could go into his shop and show u
how to make little one for a nicke
that is just as good.
When peace does come, think h
ought to receive his share of the credi
too. l would suggest that to common
crate his part in the peace all tn
fiivvers stop running for five minute,
Some OF them would never get starte
again.
| | have a friend who runs a five
and he doesn't need a speedometer t
tell how fast he is going. When h
gets to going more than ten miles a
hour he can tell it by the way hi
teeth rattle.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
The Daily Story
Marrying Humorist -- By M. Quad.
$500 By M. Quad.

and Henry soon discovered that sol.
emn, serious girl would have made him
less trouble than merry one. They
had not been housekeeping two weekz
before he came to supper one evening
to find that the only evidence of a meal
was dish Of sliced cucumbers and
some very cold tea.
why, what does this meanT- no
asked as he took bis chair and looked
over the table.
Il wanted to play you joke" was
the reply, followed by a peal Of laugh.
ter
But / can't see the joke" protested
the hungry carpenter, who knew there
was a-plenty in the house to eat
"Oh, it's SO funny. it's so funny,
Henry! wish you could see how SOL
emn your face looks. / am afraid you
are not going to be much Of Joker"
The next good joke" played on
Henry was few days later. He came
home to find twelve cats in the sitting
room, and they were engaged in a live
ly row as he entered.
"For heavens sakei What are all
these cats doing" he demanded.
All the answer he got was a merry
peal Of laughter, and he grabbed the
broom and went in among the fighting
felines and drove them out of the
house with many poke and whack.
There was one more Joke" One day
tin peddler came along, and as some
of his wares were wanted in the house
and Bess had no money with which to
| buy, she traded Henry's Sunday suit
and a rug or two in exchange. "Ex.
change" meant in this case that she
had to dispose Of about SIS worth of
articles for about So of tnware, and
| yet when the husband came home she
was all a-futter to tell him of the great
bargain she had made and the Joke
she had worked off on the peddler She
smiled and laughed and chuckled, but
Henry broke out into words Of indigna.
! ton and even INDUCED in threats. She
| laughed at his words and that night
! she crept softly out Of bed and return
ed to her fathers house, and when
Henry visited her next morning her
father and mother and herself said:
Henry, you are too solemn. No one
can drive joke into your head with a
! sledge hammer. 1t is better that you
and Bessie separate and get divorce
and that you marry Abigail Jones, who
is an old maid Of forty years and who
| is so solemn that she would not fetch
a smile if she saw any one fall over a
sleeping hog on the sidewalk"
And at last accounts poor Henry was
keeping bachelors hall by himself and
looking as solemn as a rock by the
roadside, and Bessie was laughing to
everybody she met about her trying to
make a born owl see the point in her
| joke. They have not got together
again yet and probably never will.
There was too much fun on one side
| and too much solemnity on the other.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
THE PREDATORY CAT.

While organized effort is being made
in Rock Island TO encourage the breed
ing Of our native song birds it might
not be a bad idea to consider what
ought to be done with the worst enemy
the birds baye-the common house
cat. There are a good many birds in
the city, but there are also a good
many cats, and some Of the latter at
this time of year are getting a consid-
cradle part of their living out of the
nests of the former. One cat which
has had d taste Of young bird and has
learned that meal may be had in any
tree whence comes the cries Of the
fedglings asking for food can and will
DO more to reduce the numbers of the
feathered tribe in a given community
than a whole regiment Of boys. We
have put a tax on dogs. Why not one
for the caIs7
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Talks. Other possible factors are lack
of open or fresh air, overeating, failure
to take half dozen good deep breaths
every time the clock strikes the hour,
anemia, insufficient exercise.
Psoriasis Not a Bar to Marriage.
have psoriasis and want to marry,
but fear the disease may make that i'm
possible or that it may some day dis
able me, and | don't want my intended
wife to want. Could l pass life in
surance test?
Answer-The disease will never ser
iously affect your health. 1t is not at
all contagious. 1t will not prevent you
from obtaining insurance. If you are
not underweight, try vegetarian diet
no meat, fish or eggs.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

New York to San Francisco, via New
Orleans, each truck being loaded WITT
two tons of seafood
with the payment of this vast an
nual toll, however, there seemed to be
no diminution in the North Seas fish
supply. England's share of this food
before the war was 100000 tons a year,
or p pounds for every inhabitant of
the British Isles.
"Of the North Sea catch three-fifths
of the total is herring, the fish whose
spawning and feeding grounds have
determined the location of cities, AMI
in several instances appear to have
involved the actual destiny of nations
and the fate Of their monarchs.'"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Although the farms of the United
States are valued at $4,000, O00, 900
and produce $4,000 100000 Of annual
wealth. they have had to pay an in
terest rate Of from S per cent to 10
per cent A democratic congress and
administration passes a rural credits
act which will reduce this rate to
per cent TO 6 per cent. Will the 6,000,-
600 farmers of the United States en-
dorse this act with their votes in No
yember?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
Daily History ClaSs-June Il.

1775-Great Britain offered pardon to
all colonial rebels who would
submit 10 British rule except John
Hancock and Samuel Adams
1861 Entry of Emperor MaXimillah
and Empress Carlotta into the City
of Mexico.
i915-A German submarine operating
near the east coast OF England tor
pedoed and sank two British tor
pedo boats.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Miss Helen Hughes, daughter Of
Justice and Mrs. Charles E. Hughes,
is Vassar graduate who has taken
especial interest in student work of
the Y. W. C. A. She is trained and
capable executive, and is at present
in Camp Mawpawin, the Y. W. c. A.
camp at Canton, Pa. where she is in
charge of the high school girls con-
ference. She was graduated from
Vassar two years ago
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

A Springfield firm employing large
number Of women proposes to try
singing during the noon hour to pro-
mote efficiency. Whether it succeeds
or not the scheme seems to have it on
the Taylor system i many ways.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

ThiTty-six women tainted during a
Billy Sunday session at Kansas City,
but there was no confusion. They
were all promptly carried away and
revived by the staff Of trained experts
whose services are always called for
at a certain stage in each revival.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
CounterfeiterS.

Marshal P. Miller OF the police de-
partment says he reckons If automo-
bilists use Patent Applied For" IL
cense plates, he will have to prefer
charges against them of being counter
letters. The town marshal is "agin"
decsitful tactics, he AYERS.
J. NJ. C.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Republicans of Iowa, with wet can
didate for governor in state made
dry by constitutional enactment are
IN about the same position with re-
spect TO an issue that the republicans
of the nation are.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Roosevelt, it is reported, considers
Inc loss of the republican presiden-
tial nomination at Chicago the great
est political disappointment of his life.
The idea Of man who has twice been
president of the United States talking
like that
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
Attention, PicnicS.

AID in Ottawa Free "McKin-
ley park. Bring your picnics. No ad-
mlttance to grounds. All sorts of pic
MICS are invited" Perhaps the inspired
linotype operator omitted bottles"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Reading between the lines in the
Official statements concerning the lat
est sea battles between the British and
Germans one reached the conclusion
that both sides have merely fired a
few shots and then run away.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

The fact that there are nearly So
600 police in the country has been
mentioned 10 reassure those who are
SO deeply deploring our unprepared-
ness. Fancy a regiment Of pOrtly
bluecoats making daily 30-mile hurry
up hikes carrying a full army load.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

The day following the passage OF the
democratic shipping bill by the house,
the foreign shipping trust lowered
ocean rates from American ports 10
all foreign markets.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
Has Been Reading Health Talks.

! just discovered your articles this
week and | read every one. For the
last few days | yawn great deal
can't stop IL. Is there any reason you
can suggest
Answer-You've been reading Health
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
In Right Place.

"1 have written poem on"
The editor looked up YEARLY. The
blue-eyed blonde young woman was
merciless.
81 have written a poem on The Old
Red Barn on the Farm, and"
The weary look disappeared from
the EDITORS face.
"Ah. Delighted! Written on the
old red barn, Ell? Fine. II be going
along by the farm in a day or so, and
I'll stop at the old red barn and read
it."-Atchison Globe.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Frank Hitchcock earned a reputa-
ton as a prophet alright by predict
ing that it would be Hughes on the
third ballot, but it will be the old story
of a prophet without honor.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
Rock IsIand-Frczn River to
River.

The former calamity howlers are
now the prosperity knockers.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
cH0RDs 40
DISCO r DS
COppers In the Dark.

Police authorities are not Dit
pleased over the filming of William Max
we'll yesterday in Judge Palmer's court
1t is claimed that when his attorney
/. L. Weaver, took him into court ne
could have at least notified the ponce
or the Judge could have stepped to the
telephone. AS result, the ponce dio
not know OF the fining until late In
the afternoon. 1t was question OF In
nocence or guilt. but the minions OF
the law would certainly like to know
what is going on. 1t was only a few
days ago that the police found 1t nee
essary to lay down the law ON the is
suarce of warrants. and 1t was sup
posed that the law would last. 1t will
possibly require some more rapping to
make some people sit up and take no
tice.-Sterling Standard.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

After the war is over, in Europe as
in Chicago, the question will arise:
What principle were we fighting
over, anyway"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

LET well enough alone is obsolete
The up-to-date reading is, Let the
best ever alone"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

with Harry Thaw in Chicago the
colonel took it for granted that his
own presence was not required.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12

Old time prophets says Indiana is
going to have dry summer-and cool,
too, the republicans have decreed.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-06-12
The New Cashier.

M. E. Toothacre, who will attend the
wants of the patrons at the cashiers
window in the Farmers and Mer
chants bank, has arrived in the city,
accompanied by his family. They have
located at No. 100 Washington street
Burlington Gazette
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
TIPPL|NG HOUSES
ASK PERMISSION To
HAVE LATER HOURS

Tipping houses presented petition
to the city commissioners yesterday,
asking different hours than those fix
ed in the ordinance authorizing them
to engage in business in the city of
Pensacola. The effect of their petit
ton is to keep later hours. although
the time for keeping open is not leng-
thened
The commissioners received the Pc
tition. which was presented at the
meeting yesterday by counsel for the
men engaged in this line of business.
and will later announce conclusion in
the premises.
Under the present ordinance, tip
pling houses are permitted to open at
O'Clock In the morning and continue
in business until 10 O'Clock that night.
The petition sets forth the request of
tipping house men, stating that they
would open at o'clock In the morn
ing, remaining open until II clock at
night, thus giving the same number
of hours, but remaining one hour later
at night.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
HISTORIC OLD GRAF I
TIES UP At PALNF OK
WHARF FORFEWD DAYS

Moored at the east side of Palafox
wharf. the 129-year-old British Bark
entine Success, formerly a prison ship
OF the British government yesterday
afternoon attracted considerable at
tention, although it was not open to
visitors. The peculiar lines OF the old
craft were IN themselves CROUCH to
interest many, and people who had
read a bit of history of her past show
ed the greatest interest in the old
hulk, now being taken to ports of this
country for exhibition purposes.
The old Success, which arrived last
Friday afternoon, viii be open to visi-
tors this week, due announcement of
which will be made in these columns.
The berth which she occupies is within
few yards of the driveway over
Palafox wharf, and during the after
noon Of yesterday. scores of auto par
ties went to the dock and from their
cars surveyed the vessel wits such a
past record. unequalled by any ship
now af1oat.
The WELLESLEY, which towed the Sue
cess to Pensacola from San Francisco
left her charge here and went to New
her new owners. it is said. The Sue
cess, after remaining about week in
Pensacola harbor, will also proceed TIC
the Crescent City, to remain through
the Mardi Gras Season. Thence, it Is
| planned to make a trip up the Missis-
| sippi river
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
OF Interest to Married Women.

Most married women look after the
health of their families and almost
every woman can do so to advanta ge.
Mrs. William Flaherty, Skaneateles. N.
Y, writes: my husband used two bot
ties of Chamberlain's Tablets last
winter when he was suffering from in.
digestion and biliousness. These tab
let's relieved him right away and by
continuing them for a few weeks his
digestion was strengthened and gen.
eral health improved" Obtainable
verywhere.-Ady. -
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
RouMANIA PARLIAMENT TO
MEET IN PETRoGRAD

Berlin. Dec. I8.-The Stockholm cor
respondent OF the LokaI Anzieger tel
egraphs that the Roumanian foreign
office will be established at Petrograd
and other ministries for the present
viii be established at ESiey and says
pit is reported that the Roumanian ps~-
lament will meet at Petrosrad
King Ferdinand is reported to have
declared he will stay one week in Rus
STA, then go to England
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
HEADACHES

Thousands OF men and women snffer from
headaches every day, other thousands have
headaches every week or every month, and still
others have headaches occasionally, but not at
regular intervals. the best Doctor Is often unable
to find the cause OF many OF these headaches.
ana IN most other cases, knowing the cause, he
does not know what viii remove it, so as to give
the usual pain relieves. which give temporary
relief, but the headache returns a usual, and
treatment Is again necessary. Ifyo1suffer from
headaches. no matter what their nature, take
anti-kamnia tablets, and the results viii be salts
factory in the highest degree. You can obtain
them at all druggists in any quantity. 10c worth,
Csc worth or more. Ask for AK Tablets
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
SICK-HEADACHES

Sickhea6ache, the most miserable of all SICK
nesses, loses its teFrors when AK Tablets are
taken. When you feel an attack coming on take
two tablets. and IN many cases. the attack will
be warded off. During an attack take one AK
Tablet every two hours. The rest ana comfort
which follow. can be obtained Ia no other way.
Genuine AK Tablets bear fhe n mono
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

Dear Santa Claus-I am a little
poor boy 6 years old and I want you
to please bring me a suit of clothes
and a pair of shoes and some apples
and oranges and candy and nuts for
/ am a good little boy: with love,
wishing you merry Christmas and
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

Dear Santa-Piease bring me for
Christmas little air rifle, bali and
wagon big enough for my brother
and me to ride our little sister in, and
please bring me some nuts and fruit
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

and candy. Don't forget to bring my
little sister a doll my brother Is IN
the third grade and will write and tell
you what he wants Your little boy.
Charles Allen Miller.
Dear Santa Claus-I would like you
to bring me for Christmas tea set
and pair stockings and pair shoes for
one of my brothers years old, and
for my other brothers two pair STOCK
ings and would like to have a coat
for the two year old brother. Yours
truly and loving. JannIta Angelo.
Dear Santa Claus-I want you to
bring me a box OF handkerchiefs, a
raincoat. pair Of rubber boots and a
book sack and that will be all for this
time. You can bring me anything
else you want to- Don't forget my
little brother and sister and don't for
get to bring lots Of fruits and nuts.
That will be all for this time, from
Shirley Davenport, 2S1 East Intenden-
cia street.
Dear Santa Claus-l want you to 4
! come to my house to see meand bring
/ me some drawing material, toys and
fruit for / am a good little girl agid
: love to go to school AID I have -GWo
little sisters and one little brother and
don't forget them. Brsther lis one
year old. Will be very glad If you
will come to see me. From AZ nice lit
tie girl Bessie Lewis.
Dear Santa Claus-T am a little girl
and will be years old the 26th of
this month. Please>saring me a nice
dress blue ribbon, handkerchiefs, fire
crackers, sparklers, fruits and nuts
Don't forget papa and little brother
My little nephew is not two years old
S go I will write for him. Bring him a
pair of shoes, dog that barks and
| a garden set. If there is anything
else you would like to bring us we
will be glad to have it. Don't forget
the orphan children. Wishing you and
, happy New Year. your little girl, Ro-
belize Munroe, Blackman, Fla.
Dear Santa Claus do not care
for much this year. / would like to
have a pair of skates and some clothes
for my baby doll and some oranges,
nuts and a. box of caramel candy; Do
| not forget mama and dady. With love
Evelyn Cole. -
The Quinine That Does Not Affect
Head.
Because of its tonic and laxative eff
feet, Laxative Bromo Quinine can be
taken by anyone without causing
: nervousness nor ringing in the head.
There is only one "Bromo Quinine. =
E. w. GROVES signature 10 on box.
25c.-Adv.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

Dear Santa C1aus-I am little girl
? years old and l am good little girl
and I want you to please bring me q
little fur coat and pair of shoes,
size 1-2. and some fruit and nuts
and candy. Wishing you a merry
Christmas and happy New Year. 513
North F street.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

Dear Santa Claus-T do not care
for much this year. / would like to
have a pair of skates and some clothes
for my baby doll and some oranges,
nuts and a box of caramel candy; do
not forget mama and dady. With love
Evelyn Cole.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19
McHugh
Grocery
Co.
For Cash Only

Is lbs Sugar for. 500
az lbs Head Rice. $40
9 bars Hammer Soap. .25c
Snowdrift Lard, bucket, $1.45
Snowdrift Lard, bucket, 75c
Holland Herring, doz. Acc
Sauer Kraut, quart .1oc
Sour Pickles, dozen s. 15c
Bulk Olives, quart. .4oc
Pure Ground Coffee, per
pound 1900. Zoe
SwIfe Premium Cleo, 2
pounds 55c
Creamery Butter, per lb, 4oc
Fresh Eggs, dozen. -. s5c
Asparagus Tips, can. .SOc
Asparagus Tips, 8 cans. 25c
Gander Cooking Oil, can, s5c
Florida Syrup. gallon. e5c
Florida Syrup, u gallon, s5c
Florida Syrup, quart. .2oc
Pumpkins. 2 cans, 15c
Winner Milk, 2 cans. .25c
Tomatoes, GLIB cans, 8
cans for 25c
3 packages Salt. 1oc
3 cans Pepper 1oc
Irish Potatoes. peck. :. SOC
Prunes, per ID. 1oe
! Eyaporated Apples, 2 pkgs
for ....--.--.-..-l5'
Large Cream, can. -. To-
/. Small Cream ......-. 81
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

Dear Santa Claus--I am a little girl
only years old. so please bring me
q doll. doll bed, dresser, suitcase. pea
nuts. apples and oranges. Don't Tor
get my little brothers as they want
something too. Good bye for this
time. Your little girl, Thelma McEi-
roy. S14 East Garden.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1916-12-19

Fla. Now Santa don't forget me.
Dear Santa C1aus-I am geaR
old. i am going to tell you what to
bring me- Please bring me doll
with curly hair and please bring me
first reader and a tablet and q
pencil. My little brother is ; years
old and he would like to have a rock
ing horse, Ratchet and gun. | hope
you will have merry Christmas. Err
nestine Finsley. Mulat, Fla.