The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-11-16
Tales of the Town

Tales of the Town
The Bible remains the safest place
to put things one doesn't want dis
; turbed
A straw vote is just about as sat
isfying as paper mache free lunch
at picnic.
II seems that Rumania went into
the war without knowing she had so
many fronts.
AS nearly as can be gathered from
the market quotations, potato chip
is about equal in value to blue chip.
The story goes that Teddy Roose-
welt is going to quit politics, but we
are long past the age when fairy
tales interest or impress.
If we owned bouquet we would
hand it to the woman who takes her
sons Palm Beach suit and makes
pajamas for her husband.
A New York psycopathist says that
love is all chemical reaction, and
you can get the same sensation by
stroking a cat as by kissing a girl.
q
Sign over the gate on a farm: "Pos-
itively no hunting. Trespassers will
be prosecuted" To which a hunter
has added this postscript: "Been all
over place, and there amt a bird on
the farm"
There comes time in every nor
NAL small boys life when he feels
that a monument ought to be erect
ed, bearing the inscription. Con this
spot, at such-and- such date, Johnny
Smith first spat thru his teeth"
q =
The teacher wrote on the board
the following. Don't light matches;
the Chicago fire" Little
Willie erased it and in its place wrote
Don't spit on the floor: remember
the Johnstown flood"
Since the unjust and untimely end
If the goose that laid the golden egg,
he saddest barnyard news is that
which comes from Maryland where
Lady Byzantine, the hen that laid
/ $40 egg 315 days in the year, re-
.ently passed away.
The new minister was shaking
lands with a new member of his con-
girl fresh from Sweden,
md said, cordially: 81 would like to
now your address, so | can call on
-ou" "Oh," said the girl innocently,
/ hat man."
Johnnie, aged A, was spending few
lays in the country, and hearing,
or the first time, mule braying,
e said: "Grandpa, you ought to give
hat horse some kind of medicine. He
'ot the whoopin cough awfully SER
ous."
A junk man went to certain home :
he other day and asked the man of
he house if he had any old rags to
ell The man replied that he didn't
now-his wife had been away for
month. "Well, them" said the junk
nan, I'm take all the old bottles you
OF"
A tramp knocked at a farmers
cor and called for something to eat.
Are you a Christian asked the
ood-hearted man. "Look at the holes
'orn in the knees of my pants. What
o they prove?" The farmers wife
brought out the food and
ne tramp turned to 90. "Well! WellW
sked the farmer "What made those
oles in the back of your pants?"
replied the tramp as
e hurried on.
Some time ago the stork visited the
ONE of happy young couple and
fishing to notify her girl chum, the
lother sent the following telegram:
For unto us child is born.-lsaiah
&C." "Oh, john" exclaimed the girl
nun to her husband on receiving
ne dispatch. 81 have just got a
,legram from Gladys, and what do
GU think ?" "You have got me chuck
out at first in the conundrum
ame,' indulgently smiled John.
What's the answer?" GLADYS has
baby boyr" enthusiastically respond
little wiley. "iIis name is Isaiah,
nd he weighs nine pounds six ounces!
q 4 4
A good old gentleman, with failing 81
,esight, but unimpaired faith, was in h
,e habit of reading the Bible to his Il
Tvs every night before retiring. One Il