The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1916-06-01
TOO MUCH WEDDING FlNERY.


We sacrifice to dress till household joys
And comforts cease. Dress drains our
cellars dry
And keeps our larders lean; puts out our
fires
And Introduces hunger, frost and woe
Where peace and hospitality might reign.
Ask the average man who is soon
to wed what he thinks of ceremonious
weddings and he will be pretty apt to
tell you that he would cut all that out
If he could have his way about it..
However, as neither of them expects
to be married but once, it is but right
to permit the bride to have just as
good time over 1t. as much fuss and
feathers as she Graves for the great
occasion.
The average bride-to-be insists upon
having her fling. She orders twice as
many gowns as she actually needs
dresses to walk in, to dance in, to
lounge in, to eat in, lingerie pink rib
boned, blue ribboned, mauve ribboned,
and beribboned in every other color.
She buys the town shoemaker out,
white boots, gray boots, bronze boots,
and kid slippers Of every color of the
rainbow, from green to silver and gold.
There are hats, wells, parasols, gloves
and silk stockings to match everything
she has and the things she wishes she
had.
1t isn't every young man who has
the forethought to ask his fiancee to
give him little hint of the number
of trunks she intends to take on their
honeymoon, remarking that two suit
cases will be all that he requires for
his belongings. Woe unto the man
who forgets to find out this important
matter. One bridegroom who had been
too bashful to inquire about the num-
Der of trunks faced direfu1 dilemma
when he discovered to his dismay a
veritable mountain of trunks accompa'
nying them to the railway station,
Billy score or more. 1t took him SO
long to check them he nearly lost his
train, to say nothing of nearly having
hand-to-hand set-to with the check
ing master on account of excessive
baggage. The train hands took them
for theatrical vaudeville team, their
bid for public favor being the lightning
changes of costume - hundred
changes In twenty minutes. When
they reached Washington, that mecca
for brides and grooms, he found that
he was obliged to secure an extra ad-
Joining room for accommodations for
the trunks.
During their two weeks stay it was
a continuous battle between his bride
and himself with those formidable
trunks. If she wanted costume to
promenade in, they were usually
obliged to go through the entire num-
Der of trunks, finding it at last in the
bottom of the very last one tackled.
The same performance was gone
through to find shoes and gloves that
went with 1t.
OF course the average exasperated
man would say something scarcely dig
nified to ears polite, only to be recalled
to his senses by burst of tears from
his bride weepingly protesting she was
going straight back to mother, adding
how could one know just what to take
and what not to take on honeymoon
trip. when one had not been married
before, and that if he had wanted an
experienced person he should have
picked a widow for wife, etc.
To settle matters amicably, both
concluded to have an experienced
packing woman come in and put in
one trunk the things that would actu-
ally be needed for fortnight's longer
stay. One trunk was all they retained
for the belongings of both. The other
nineteen and the ten suitcases were
Skinned back home, and he had to en-
gage an entire baggage car.
But it was cheap at that, for his
nerves and his almost broken back.
Too much wedding finery turns out to
be a delusion and snare usually.