The daily star-mirror. (Moscow, Idaho) 1911-1939, 1916-12-12

himself opposite Barnett Zapp in Was
| serbauer's restaurant.
'SThat's what Old Man Zeppelin used
| to say" Barnett Zapp, the waist man.
ufacturer, replied as he laid down the
current issue of "Sultry Stories"
EVERY once In a while he would find
his youngest son, Pincus Zeppelin,
reading a dime novel, and he would
catch him a box on the ear and ask
him what would become of him, and
/ that he had a kind father and good
mother and this is the way he repays
| them, and to look at his brother Sig,
which never read nothing but the pa
pers and now runs one of the biggest
delicatessen and fine grocery stores
In Immendingen, Wurtemburg, where
as Pincus Zeppelin couldn't forget the
time he fooled away over "Ned Har-
rington, the Boy Aviator" in the Med
Harrington series till it affected his
mind, Birsky. He becomes crazy on
the subject of airships and before he
RECEIVERS his senses, understand, he
stands a show to get away with any
WucIcS lTOu lSh " LNShtS AhiAhOa
dollars"
"You are talking now from one sin
gle for-instance out of hundreds"
Birsky objected, "aber the shoe could
pinch on the other foot, too, Zapp. If
1 would read, for example, in a ten
cent mazagine that Ned Carruthers'
uncle left him two million dollars prof
its from the Cruller trust and Ned
wouldn't take q cent of the money on
account it was tainted from being
ground out of the blood of working
women which has got to sit and see
their husbands die because there isn't
so much as cruller in the house, and
that's the way Old Man Caruthers-
, Steel Trap Carruthers they used to
call him on the Cruller. exchange
made his money, understand, read
ing such stuff couldn't do me no harm,
Zapp. 1t wouldn't make me turn down
any two million dollar legacy from
my uncle, even though as a reward l
might stand show to marry a girl
with five million dollars, the way Ned
Carruthers did in the story, because in
the first place, Zapp, such things only
happen in stories. r-~s ssrsesa y
"Zapp, you take here the other
day a lady which lives over in Brook
Ign and rents for few dollars a fur
nished room, understand, and the
poor woman actually has got an uncle
die on her and leave her two hundred
thousand dollars, Zapp."
"Nebich ~ Zapp exclaimed. 1T
must of upset her something terrible"
'Ordinarily it wouldn't" Birsky
agreed. "The chances is she would of
refused to take the money, Zapp, be-
cause she read the magazines so long
she didn't believe in real life no more"
Neither does a whole lot of other
people," Zapp declared, "editors of pa
pers for example. Every New York
newspaper editor has got an idea that
anyhow fifteen per cent of the COM
mon people which lives in New York,
or 100000 people, takes such a big
interest III gollef, understand, that
it's necessary to get once week a
funny gOllef picture done by the news
papers cartoOnst. Now as such a
cartoonist is paid salary equivalence
to the President of the United States, |
supposing Mr.. Wilson also received a |
royalty of ten per cent on the rights
to reproduce in moving pictures as |
comics, the carryings-on of the Senate ]
and House of Representatives, yum
derstand. take One-seventh of such a (
cartoonist's salary, Birsky, and it
makes gollef a very expensive game
for a newspaper, even supposing it !
was as popular as the editor thinks /
it is. However, Birsky, if you was an
editor and was able to read all the
free, you wouldn't act no !.
because it don't make no
difference if a author is writing a love
story or sea story, he thinks he
must got to ring in something about
gollef, the idee being to make the rest
of the story sound more refined and
give people the impression that al
though writing under an alias he is
really kin to the Astors and Wander
bits"
'What is there so becoming about
playing golfef?" Birsky asked.
"Well, for one thing, it's taking ex-
ercise," Zapp continued, (which tax
ing exercise is considered such prop
or thing nowadays, Birsky, that when
some fellers tell you about the exer-
rise they are taking, understand,
hey act like they would be admitting
hat they just give hundred thou
sand dollars to the Belgium Relief
Fund"
"If taking exercise is such won
lerful thing" Birsky said, "a shipping
Jerk must be athlete already"
"He is just such athlete as gol- I
eff player is anyhow" Zapp said, "be-
ause packing and shipping goods is 6
great deal like playing gollef, I
,irsky. It exercises every part of
he body except the head-the only ]
Inference being that gollef couldn't I
g done in such close quarters as 7
o6c -