davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
9anFli9es 2eOer.

G6on felt bieleu Jabren btf6Gfttater
.f6 bic 5nbutrien NIT GrIabmitteln fiq
2tosr. Dag bie1e Gabritation ieBt an
8ebeutuns bisI gtfoousn bat. iubsm bic
8edaffung BEG Rp9matsrials uns ipGbs
renb Der 3rtegs3sit mn6glt9 eemaat
ntrb. liegt auf Der 9dub.
9iaige aeberartiieL pie 5dnbiaT6sn.
MDbelbs3Hqs, Saptten, 9iidereinbaabG
unb bergIeihen perben als einem alaIts
leber bergeiteat, bds dts @runofpff Qtbers
abfd1e suthdlt. 9itIe 2eberdbfGae pers
ben 9ereinigt, banu ssrnobleu unb nit
QmmoniutpaHsr, BEN cine 2OIung bon
Rautfdut beieeleBt III, bermiIht. Gs pir6
bdburd Elm probuEt g%efponnen, bas eIas
ltiih unb eef9mtibig 1T unb bur6 ftint
Gie9Iamfeit allerIet 8edrbeitunqsm0glids
feiten gibt. 8as grobutt pirb 6ur6
4reB6rad unS bur5 aneten in btitimmt.
Gormtn gebra6t. 8isfs Gormsu rperben
baun berf6nttttu, gefdrbt. lafiert unb ie,
IL mad benz Gnb3pet, btar6tttet.
4ug gei9a6tem Qeber. 8aumponflots
fen, 3umpen unb otrgleihen, bic NIT
elmer 2eiml0Tung imprdgniert perbtn,
Taft Iia aud Elm aunTtleber 6erIfenm.
Das 70 geiuDnnene probutt futrb in erfter
Reibe fir Hunbidnure. Shu6Ioblen, Ries
men unO berglet6tn bertpenbet. Sc mebr
bds 9robutt NIT atebsmttteln burdItbt
it, beifo better pibtritbt e Ih Der 8eu6s
tigfeit. Die 8s8i9t pon Stiibltn, RIubs
iefelu, Gofds, @anbbetleiOungen unb.
dbnIiben @srnenOungsarten iiHb bur9
GunitlebererJeugniFs gegebsn, bic elmer.
Qrt bon tiiHitIiasr gerbung u~nterpotfsu.
poroen Ein6.
Nan felt aug bitTen gang turS gebdltts'
men QusTlbrungsn, fpel6e berI9ieotnars
tige Observation-Disclosures fir finifs
li4es 9sber btrsits gsg,btn F1b. ueb,rdGI
bort. no iih bic 8eriusnbnng bon natirs.
2eber nibt dts dblolut nctipenbigl
follte, beIonbers itst, has auaTts
leoer Dtripenbet psrbtu.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
klcitcrwcibe In
finSiap, uebr.!

2in6iab, glcbr., "a. SUM Gas
neue 5ran5iBfanerflolter Oabier DlIr'
be om 9omerslae inter entipre'
denoen DISQUALIFICATION eingepetbt.
Batter 9ociiifus Gobnen bon Omaha
ooQ5og bic 8eibe. gieb. Batter Ser
bert, Der erite 9rieiter oieies 9rteS
uno icet in Gbnsfa, Wlinn,, tdtig,
5elebrterte oos feierlide &ohami,
Reb. Batter gfeiffer fuugierte oils
Gioton 8oter gorer ais Sub0ia.
fon NIB 8oter QnuitoiiliS oils 8ere.
monienmeiiter. Die 5eitpreoigt in
oeuti6er Spr1he belt 8oter @Driac
bon OF. Bernard uno in Gnglii6
8nter D1uen1 Don Ytaoilon. Us
mobnten 10 9rieiter Der Ginrpeib.
unasfeier BEL. 3ie geteiligung Der
aatboliten ans Der llmgegeno fpar
cine Icbr itarfe. 2eiOer ieete nnb
GEM @otteSoienit Elm itorfer gfegen
Elm, Der Die neltlide 5eier 6eeiu-
trG6tigte. 9ieie beitanO aus elmer
prd6tigen 9oritequne Der &tn6er
Der Sdule Der Seili9en 5amilie.
@emein0e. Ole S6itler fiibrten elm
i6ones 8rogrom in g%eoiegener 8et-
Ie aus itnO un~terbielten Die 8eilt.
der aufs Bette. Gin fleines 8bea.
teritld. IN pel9em iid alion 5riid.
auf unO Sattie 8eioner beionoers
aus5eidnGten. fono ben groBten Bet
.faa. Die berrltde 6eier miro alien
Geilnebmern unpergeBlih blei6en.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
8rn sfnb fleiner ainber.

Berlin "a. SUM-. gDeuti1,
lono's @riinoung altm Shus bon
SqugIingen uno fleinen 4inbern"
lit Der Same elmer berte bier ms
2eben gerufenen @eieai6oft 8ltr 9e,
fdmpfune Der ainoeriterblidfeit
Ser3ogin 8iftorta 2ouiie BON Braun,
i9lueig mar aIs grotettorin in Der
g|eriammlitng a~ntpeieno. Reidsfan5.
Ter bon 8etbmoun Sollpe8 uno
6el0mori6aa bon SinOenburg muir.
ben at @bretpr1iioenten ernonnt.
g(erste urb 5tnntSmGnner aus
alien &eilen oes Mei9es betelLigten
fid an Der Organization Der @eieG.
idaft. 8oritser, 9rof. Carl 9febr-
Binneru, erfl6rte, 9eutidLoro mir.
De i6brIi1 bic 2eben bon 100000
atnoen retten.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
gerliner 3eituuseH berflcinert.

Berlin, "a. Sunt.-@ine Mebr.
BELT Der 8erIiner 3eitungsbernus-
geber bat it9 entidieoeu, tufolgt
Ser erbobten 9apierfoiten bonn i.
Suit ob bic 6r5Be ibrer 8Idtter 81
rebuateren. Mebrere oteier @erle.
ger iino 5uOem entidloiien, aus Der
ietben ltriode ben Announcements.
preiB at erboben. @te6er onbprt
Beitungen oage8ep bedbiatiger, fei.
ner[et aenoerungen bor3unebmen
iofern iie Die 8eritderung boben
OoB &nitalten getroffeu tpiiroen, il.
men 8apier au ansemeiienen 8rei,
fen 81 beridaffen.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
goacn nidt ariessbieuit lciiten.

2on6on, "a. SUM. Die Sci.
tung o3ailp Weins" mel0et, onB bier
2elte, bic Der aus iolGeu SoIoateR
b~eite5enoen 9(bteiIung ~ange6oren, Be.
ren religioieS @epiiien ibnen 0as
admpfen Derbietet, in goulogne gum
GoOe ~berurteiIt noroen ieien. Cir
berridteten 4rbeiten binter Der ei.
oentliden 5rout, iouen lid abcr aud
bort gefeblen nioeriest baben. Spd-
Ter pltr6e oos urteiI in 8ufthails-
itrofe fir Die Do1ter bon 10 SSabren
itmgepanbelt. Die 4ngeIegenbeit
oiirfte i'm @arLdment 5ur 5prohe
gebrot)t tDeroen.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
Der QuIomO6dEaleI IdIieBt
an OonnerSlag, Den ~. Juni!
Die 1tcntetantcn ftnS fcft cnti6cRcrb sic nod
pcrblcibcnccn fiinf Gage Ii1 nad
1sr6ften sinlbc 81 MAIDEN.
Pcnrp POed aus BOpS 60. tctttc an Ser Spite.

g[m n16lten 9onner8tag, ben 90.
Stunt idIieBt Ger eroBe aonteIt Ger
Gdeliden 0uiaDa Iriblne, Der nit
ieoem Gage intereiiqnter uno inten.
fiber miro. Die aonteitnnten Iino
gori3 encreii6 bel Der arbeit, Inn
bic nod berbleibenoe furSe 6rilt
aiis5unusen, inoem iie iobiele Gtim.
men ais nilr m6glid erInnget. Gle
meroen ieoenfaaS in ben nd6lten
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
Die antuenbnns .Gluriauren Rails Sei
GRANDDAUGHTER

H. fpie ih als Grfdbrung tpeiB, nur pts.
rigen berartig ltibtnbsn MenI9en betdnnt.
Rdmentlih 8abnIdmer8. bon bobIen 3dAs
men b~errtibrenn, 1T bamit raid bertrieben,
psnn man cine 2SIuRg BON eiriem 3eil Des
6dl5es in 90 5siIen DaHer oIs Dumb.
nafer b%erfpenbet. Iau nirnmt einen gros
Ben Ghtud oabon unb be6dIt es 10 ldnge
I'm Murbe, Bis es bsib getpprben III, foi
LANCE fortfdbrenb, Bib Der Shmers bersl
ldtpunben iii. Sci 6obIem s3dbn I'm llrta
~tertiefer bilFt maj id aud in Der Msiis,,
bdb man Elm &0rnten bes GdlSss in biei
6obiang bss trantsn 3abnes legt. Bee
ginnt Der Gdmers nidt 5u peiden. fobalb
ous Mittel in Mnipenbung fam, oonn bans
btlt "a Itb meiIt I'm cine anohenbduteRt4
5iinbung ber 3dbnipnr8eln, unb MIR bas
gingrtiFen zines ar5tes lam ben bamit
o~erbunbeuen Sdmtr8 k%Ieitiseu.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24

lagen nod gon8 beion0ere Sort.
MAIDEN, od iie nidt MIR ielbit,
AUDI ike 6reAl0e al Der
arbeit iino.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24

Seute 1T SenrD Socd ats gopo
GonntD an Der SpiBe, Der 5peit.
b0dite lit Clinton @ctermann ans
Goiintp unO Der brittle Carl
Sobbfn aus Sefferion gountp.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24

ssraft ea4 Del etfdnian ai- bic aaaliae Omaha sribaue".
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-24
euntmernaat.

SIN @arten rnuI6t bie e~oufmerno1t.
&ur1's Gentter OrdRst es fptuer,
mlt metien guesn lauI4' to- ittn,
nno aaes i9peist nmber.
tluo nues i6Idit - sin sebnen nts
Bebt beimIi1 Elm uro aus,
"a fhHat metH 6er8 su peiren an
lnb wout', Is MIR su Saus.
9etttnb Grlepsi
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
How the MiIliner Got Even.

A local business man. who has
friend in a nearby town who is a mil
liner, told a story of how the latter
once got "even" with one of the lead
ing social lights of the place after she
had tried to be unfair with him. The
husband Of the woman in question had
had a bit of hard financial shedding,
and during the reconstruction period
she had to go light on clothes. So one
day she had the milliner send up some
Of his best hats on approval, which he
did. She sent them all back, but in a
few days appeared on the street with
a duplicate of the most expensive one
Of all, which she had evidently made
herself In that town there IS a mid
die aged woman Of uncertain mental
qualities and unquestionable poverty
who is more or less Of a town charac-
ter. To her the milliner gave the orig
Inal of the duplicated hat, much to the
discomfort Of the social queen. who ap-
parently saw the point - New York
Times
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Humors of lndexing.

Quite as bad as the cryptic alphabet
zeal headings under which important
subjects are sometimes hidden in an
index are the delusive cross references
that lead to nothing. The present
writer. looking up the subject OF silver
plate in an index, read silver plate.
see gold plate" then gold plate, see
plate" then plate. see hallmarking,
then "hallmarking. see plate marks"
and finally plate marks. see silver
plate" which brought him back to
where he had started. The most Gu
rious freak Of indexing in my expert
ence. writes a correspondent, was de-
tected in the course of revising and ar
ranging a collection Of obituary arti-
cles which had been neglected
searched in vain for Queen Victoria In
that index. though it was certain that
her majesty's life was included in the
collection. But neither under 20" nor
under ''V" was it to be found. Finally
it was discovered accidentally under
1.-THE Queen" - London Chroni-
Gle
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
The Soft Answer.

"Yes, I'll take Jim's note for hun
dred any time" said Il banker when
an offer to sell note to the bank was
made.
Il want to warn you. though" said
the man in whose favor the note had
been drawn. that Jim is good prom
User. but a poor payer. don't want
you to have anything against me be-
cause of this note"
"Jim's honest, and III take his note
for a reasonable amount any time"
said the banker. II had some trouble
with him once over an Overdraft, and
it turned out that the bank was at
fault and that he had not actually
overdrawn. I'll admit / was pretty
nasty in my talk to him about it. be-
cause was so sure the bank was
right The average man under those
conditions would have 'cussed' me out
at least, but all Jim said, although he
was madden than thunder, was, I
don't see why your wife ever married
your Indianapolis News.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Pepys at a Feast.

Pepys' account Of the lord mayors
banquet which he attended in 1868 u
illustrates the earliness Of the proceed
ings at that time. He made his way
to the Guildhall at noon. went up
and down to see the tables" and then
had a drink. refusing wine in conse-
quence of a vow, but persuading his
conscience that he might indulge In
hippocras, a compound of wine and
spices. Soon after o'clock came the
lord mayor, land so all to dinner.
Afterward Pepys strolled about the Ia
dies room. but could not discern one
handsome face there and, being
wearied with looking upon a company
of ugly women" went of to Cheapside
to see the pageants, (which were very
silly" Thus the lord mayors show In
those days came after dinner.-London
Standard.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
snails Are Queer Creatures.

The snail is found everywhere, over
5000 species being known. Some OF
the large tropical snatls, as bulimas
form nests of leaves, their eggs being
as large as a pigeons. The snail is e1-
tremely skillful In mending its shell,
and some curious experiments may be
made with them. Thus have seen a
helix Of a yellow species attached to
another shell Of a reddish hue by cut
ting Off the top whorl of the latter,
when the snail will proceed to weld
the two shells together and occupy
both, using the addition as door and
possibly wondering at this sudden e1-
tension of its house. In the winter
some Of the snails hibernate or lie dor
mant until warm weather. A snan OF
the Philippine Islands has faculty OF
throwing Off its tail when seized This
is also true of a West Indian variety.
stenophus.-London Telegraph.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Mounting a Horse.


In mounting take the reins in the left
hand. At the same time grasp little
name halfway up the neck Now turn
the stirrup slightly toward you with
the right hand and place the ball of
the left foot in it. Grab the horn with
the right hand and swing on Don't
pull yourself OH. but swing on. Settle
into the saddle easily; don't flop into
1t. If you want to get your neck
broke" some time mount by taking
the horn in one hand and the cantle In
the other, and the time will surely
come when you will not be disap-
pointed.
Just a word in regard to dismount-
ing. First withdraw your feet from
the stirrups to the ball Take the
horn in the right hand and swing of.
letting the left foot slip easily and
quickly from the stirrup. Remember
this, for many a man has been dragged
to death because his foot stuck In the
stirrup. Your feet will nearly always
come free if thrown from horse, but
the left one is prone to stick in dis
mounting unless the above precauton
Is observed.-Outing.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Girls In Korea.

Girls in Korea have no names or
what would be considered names in
the western world There are no
Marys or Mabels or Ruths. The ittls
ones are given pet names at their
birth. and these they bear until they
are ten years old, after which they are
no longer used. After her tenth birth
day the young woman is known as
MIR. Kims daughter" or Mr.. Kim's
girl baby" The latter title is consid-
cred the more honorable.
If there are several daughters in the
family they are distinguished by such
words as big" flor the eldesD, sec
ond." third fourth" etc. After
marriage they are known by their hus-
bands maine and title. with the word
house affixed. They may also be
distinguished by the name Of the place
from which they came when marry
ing. as Mrs. of the House of Kim,
the young lady who came from Kong
10"
The broad ax., 1916-01-08

Effect of Familiarity.

what we see constantly we cease
to see wildly. The faces We notice
least are those We know-and perhaps
really love-best. Our eyes are bit
faded by following the familiar lines.
THE same is true Of pure color"
says q writer in the Atlantic Monthly.
Water and sky are very beautiful.
and you may suppose that you are
duly appreciative of them, but lie on
the deck of a catboat and look at them
with your head in an unaccustomed
position-sideways and upside down
and note how the colors flare out upon
your vision.
"Or stay indoors for few weeks In
a room where you do not get much
outlook and then go out. You Will be
blinded by the glory Of the world, but
not for long. The glory, alas, fades
quickly, and habit settles upon you
once more!
with our friends faces somewhat
the same thing happens. When We
first meet them they pique US pleas
antly with their unfamiliar line and
color. Gradually we grow. used to
them. The first vision has passed
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
An ANALYSIS of "Ain,t''

Amt is an improper abbreviatiou
Of "are not" British writer's spell 1t
"a'n't," which properly indicates Its
derivation Americans make 1t an In
elusive offense. Using it for "am not
and sis not" as well as for ARE not"
1t is unquestjonably the worst instance
Of slovenliness in the common speech
Of today.
Yet it is by no means Of universal or
even of common use 1t will ship oc-
casionally from refined lips, always
with a jar to the enunciator as well
as to the nearer. But the habitual
user Of "ain'ts'' is careless OF refine
ment. He may be an excellent citizen
who never beats his wife or kicks the
cat. But there is likely to be some
thing slipshod about him somewhere.
for ''ain't' is needless as well as ca
cophonous; it fills no void and supplies
no need.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
The CapitoI Dome.


The capitol dome at Washington is
the only considerable dome Of iron in
the world. 1t is a vast hollow sphere
weighing 100000 pounds. How much
is that? More than 1000 tons, or al
most the weight Of 10000 full grown
persons, or about equal TO 1000 laden
coal cars of four tons each, which, If
strung out one behind the other, would
occupy a mile and half Of track On
the very top Of the dome the ale
gorical figure America" weighing 49,
9S5 pounds, lifts its proud head high In
the air. The pressure of this dome and
figure upon the piers and pillars ts A.
ATT pounds to the square foot 1t
would, however, require a pressure OF
755, 2S6 pounds to the square foot to
crush the supports.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
The Founding of Frankfort.

The beautiful German commercial
city Of Frankfort ON the Main is said
to have had a curious origin.
When the Emperor Charlemagne
contended with the Saxons the for
tunes of war were often against him.
On one occasion he was forced to retire
along the banks of the Main. At the
time there was a thick fog. and he was
unable to find his ship or any place
where his army could cross.
He was almost in despair when a
doe, carrying a young one, sprang from
a thicket in alarm, leaped into the
stream and swan over. Charlemagne
followed the example and crossed at
the same place. The fog concealed the
army, which escaped detection
When the emperor reached the shore
he stuck his spear into the earth and
exclaimed:
"Here shall a city arise. to be called
Frankenfordr'
In consequence Of crossing the
stream he overthrow the Saxons. he
then built the town, which afterward
became the scene Of imperial corona
lions and later of great commercial
mportance.-London Answers.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Checkers.

The German name for the game OF
checkers or daughts is "damenbrett"-
ladies' board-probably 'damen' for
short Some form Of dame" is used
in almost every country where the
game is played. except the English
speaking countries, and the Scots still
speak of the "dambrod." Danes
was the name in England for a time.
and we find it in an English book to-
ward the end Of EliZabeth's reign
The first use Of the word draughts In
existing literature is about 400. At a
later day checkers" became another
name, and this went to America with
the early English emigrants and there
became the usual name. In England
In the sixteenth century the game had
three names-"dames," ''draughts" and
checkers" At an earlier period -check-
erie" "chekar," ETC., had been English
names for chess.-London Mirror.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
EucIid,s Lost Books.

81 was very much amused at the
comment Of a young friend who recent
" went up against the board Of exam
liners for the naval service" said a
Philadelphia man Speaking Of the
questions in geometry which were pro-
pounded to the ssga, thts ysungster
satd In O dry way:
History tells - sAat the dc dis
coverer of the science Of geometry,
Euclid. who lived 300 years before
Christ, wrote something like twenty
books, which he called Elements" and
that Of this number seven were lost
The examining board Of the marine
corps has found those books, for the
questions it put to us two weeks ago
clearly demonstrated that it dug up
some theorems which had not been
seen in the last 1000 years Pitts
burgh Dispatch.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Riaht, but Wrong.

The late Professor Thomas R Lounst
buy of Yale, speaking at Cambridge,
England, on the proper use Of Eng
ish, according to the Philadelphia
Bulletin, said:
But precision can be carried too far.
The ultra precise. even when logically
right, are really wrong.
An ultra precise professor went into
a hardware shop and said. Show me a
shears, please
You mean a pair Of shears, don't
your said the dealer.
NO said the professor; L mean
what l say. | mean a shears
The dealer took down a box OF
shears.
Look here, professor he said,
aren't there two blades here? And
don't two make pairT
well. you've got two legs. Does
that make you a pair of men? And
the professor smiled at the dealer tri'
umphantly through his spectacles.
He was logically right" said Pro
fessor Lounsbury, but really he was
wrong"
The broad ax., 1916-01-08

sake of being prepared for the tubercle
bacillus, the influenza germ, the micro
organisms that cause colds, coughs,
pleurisies, empyemas, bronchitis and
asthmas, and last but not least pneu-
monias.
Through the operation of the various
laws of nature even the fttest err; but
their errors are not as fragrant as those
who depend upon the element of luck
The fittest occasionally sneeze, cough,
complain of headache, run at the nose
and show the symptom complex called
a "cold." But the fittest does not
fail to consult the physician before
burdening the already Grant system
with the deadly patent medicine which
the unfit often considers a panacea.
Pneumonia has been called the friend
of the aged because it removes them
from this changing mundane sphere to
join the numerous throng gone in ad-
vance of US. The aged have a low re-
sistence because of the hard fought
battle often lasting three score and ten
years or more. They have probably
qualified as the fttest but those of US
who shuttle off this mortal coil before
engaging in a seventy years strife have
not qualified.
Pneumonia kills easily the idle, the
gluttonous, the careless, the nonvigi-
liant, the unprepared in the hay day
of youth and it removes the unfit
in the fascinating noontide of life.
The fttest of the fit probably never
succumb to any disease; they do
not even "shufle off this mortal coil, u
they never taste the bitter cup of dis,
solution. It is possible for them to
say "Death where is thy stingf" They
sink into oblivion and enjoy the pro-
fundity of "nature's sweet restorer
balmy sleep"
The broad ax., 1916-01-08

Miss Ora Harris of Pittsburgh has
taught twenty-five years in school
for the blind.
Miss Mary S. Boyd, chief Of the data
department of the National American
Woman Suffrage association, is known
as "the woman who answers CUES
TONS"
Mime. Rejane is. one Of the quickest
studies" among great actresses. She
can commit a long passage to memory
by reading it over twice. But it may
take her weeks to decide how to rem
der It
DR.. Laura NJ. Riegelman, attached to
the New York board Of health, Will
not live opposite a vacant lot, have
carpets or wall paper or rent an apart
ment without studying the sol upon
which it stands-health precautions;
that is all
Mrs. Mary Warren has the job OF
looking over the wastebaskets OF the
treasury department For more than
thirty years she has sat at her desk m
a small back room in the treasury
building, carefully examining every
bit of refuse taken from the Offices.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Mark Twain as HAttraetion..

A girl who was a stranger to Mark
Twain once found her way into his
Bermuda home with the hope Of get
ting a sight of the author. She came
Suddenly in contact with him and
frankly explained her Grand
Have you seen the crystal cave
yet" he asked, cor the aquarium
mo: 1 came to see you first she
answered.
'Wen. you shouldn't have seen me
first" he answered 'T run In oppo-
sition to the crystal and the aquari-
um. But they're not shucks to me.
Pm lots better. 1 give them their
moneys worth. But you should see
them. Then you'll appreciate me-"
This was said in his most earnest
drawl and with only a sparkle Of hu-
NOR in his keen blue eyes.
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
Homo Is

Where you wish you were about
twenty times a day when you are
iway from it.
Where you got three square meals
lay and didn't appreciate them.
Where you can use the shower bath
any time you want it
Where you can step across the hall
wearing a Turkish towel and cake
Of soap without fear Of seven or eight
people seeing you.
Where you don't have to dress for
dinner.
Where you don't have TO tip some
one every two hours.
Where the view isn't much, but the
food and beds and company and gen.
eral environments have got 1t all over
any other spot on the map.
Where you go when all the other
places are closed.-Boston Herald
The broad ax., 1916-01-08
The Real Thinq.

Fred, aged three, had been a naughty
boy, and his mother had punished him.
He felt very much hurt and complain
ed to his auntie about mammals
spanking him. Auntie said, 1T Is not
you that mamma spanks, but little
devil inside of you who makes you do
naughty things" After sitting very
stin for five minutes he said, "It beats
all how it hurts me when that devil
gets spanked. "-Delineator.