Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1916-10-28
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Pitiiess Publicity.

Meself could tell him. where's pitt
less Publicity"T says Hughes In the
Ash Cam says L Twas all right on
the stump. but In Washin'ton tbs
differ The Harp that wanst through
Trenton's halls'| name Tumulty.
Win he bursts into song now he picks
his chunei
It's not that Prisidint Wilson is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pitiless. 'Tis like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
tn illyfant. but he has mintaI resva-
shune about the spotted baby.
so it is wild Wilson He's sof'ned
the hard heart iv 'Pitiless Publicity
How about the Postmastersr axes
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell ye,'
says the C'mishun. For whyr says
the League 'Twid embar'ss tn Adj
ministhrashun,' says the Cmishun-
And the people laughs. 'Ye fred tn
Hid iv the Cinsus.' says Hughes 'Ye
lie,' says Redfield. He raysined wild
out bein' axed,' says he. 'Ye lie yer
SELF says Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
Z fire me. an We gev me place to a
POLITICIAN. says Durand. Txac1y fwhat
l said yelis Pink Whiskers. 4 was
goin' to fire We anyway. but 1 niver
the people roarS.
"'Teii us about all thin Dishurvin'
Dimmycrats.' says the people. An
Washinton is sweep be a storm iv
silence.
But dOan't We think there's no pub
licity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers. but he cud
be quiet, too.
"'We'll grab some land in Vinzu-
eely.' says the Ambassydure.
'tem'prily. says he. Yen not says
Teddy. yen agree to arbitrate,' says
he. or he says. in tin days Dewey'II
be there says Teddy.
Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
sint,' says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, I'll sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. We
agree says he,-an' divil a bit did we
know how it was for a dozen year.
Wen have Ferdy Carey alive, or
the Bashi Bazook dead says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says On demand iv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
How is it now? The greasers
slaughtered twinty at Sanity Isabel. An
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines. 'Twinty Americans killed. they
says. The Prisidint Calm says they
'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays GOluf,'
says the headlines. An the paper
goes on:
1.-The Prisidint's appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader iv the ma
shun gettin' outside iv' grape fruit,
bacon an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin Docther Grayson announced the
| bill iv fare the tinshun over Mexico
| was much relaved.
1.-The Prisidint is solvin' in privacy
the fateful question, '.WiIl me throat
| last?" The answer is waited wild few
erish anxiety
"Mondah, the papers says 'Nashun-
1 al Disaster? Sore Throat Feared, Pan
ic at the Capital. The Prisidint Calm
! Consideration was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisidint awoke with a sore throat.
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
talk iv appintin' day iv prayer. 1t
! is hoped that Senior Arre-ye-on-though
will claim that the dead Americans
! raysisted iXicushun- A high authority
! states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but wan remark
"Av they'd not been there they'd not
iv been kilt
''Choosdah, they says, Hope revfves
No sore throat. Bitten by insect
! Prisidint calm All Phrases iv Mat
Their to be considered
The anxiety in the Capital was re
laved today be the foIlowin' bulletin
1.-The Prisidint has a slight per
! foration in the cuticle over the infery
ure maximary caused by a insect bitin
him whin asleep. The patient was toe
proud to scratch (Signed) Grayson-'
at is reported also that Ginera
Scott will go to the border to bury tbs
dead, and apologize to the Insurgents
He will axe Carranzy, whether he wut
accept a loan if offered. This is con
sidered the thrue Sutton iv the diff
Guilty.
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
in. Thursdah he writes note and
Gineral Scott starts for the border
Fridah the headlines says Peace ii
Europe near. Prisidint studyin' terms
VIII he stop the war? Another not
expected. Capital excited over report
But we're comforted be bein' towlt
the Prisidint will not be bethrayet
into hasty ackshun-
"Sundah, he's considerin' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he ad