The Sunday telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1914-1927, 1916-02-20
Baron Munchausen, Jr.,
Takes a Hot Air Bath

friend, Mayor William Hale Thompson
Of Chicago. We took those animals
to Washington OF flatcars and they
are alive there now and on exhibition
in charge of DR.. Daley oh, we keep
them in two or three big barns which
we have steam heated.
II believe those animals are real
prehistoric monsters. You see, we
found them on those high mountains
Of Tibet, where they had gone to es-
cape that big Biblical flood, what do
you call 1t. All, yes, the Deluge-
and Noah missed them,
LET me tell you what those croc-
odilephants have done. When we got
near Lhassa, the capital Of Tibet, the
grand lama sent out 200 soldiers to
meet us, but they meant to annihilate
us-I saw it on their faces. Well,
what dol do? My wonderful ingenu-
ity found way, and DR.. Daley and !
mounted those crocodilephants and
rode at the soldiers. We dispersed
them all and went to Lhassa. Thus
/, single handed, defeated those SOL
diers.
Robs Insects OF Secret.
"Well, now we come to how ! per-
fected anabiosa and contrabiosa, which
will make rich every man who has
Just little money. When ! got to
Lhassa got very intimate with the
private secretary of the grand lama,
who was a good fellow.
we have here plant, he said,
that the insects drink from and when
they drink from 1t they become per-
fectly rigid. One can see daddy long
legs stiftened out to make bridge
for other insects just by eating from
this plant
Fright away l thought Of suspend-
ed animation. needed just one more
thing for my serum that / had got
from Prof Legltowsky Of the Univer-
sity Of Moscow. ! got some Of the
juice Of that plant and 1t was just
what wanted. Behold, have per-
fected anabiosa.
well now, what do do with this
anabiosa? / organize the Seymore
Cold Storage Hotel Company and /
make everybody rich. In this hotel
we apply the anabiosa treatment. Sup
pose a man has only $1,000. That
won't 60 very far in these days and
he wants more. Well, he deposits that
$1,000 in bank and gets the bank
book. Then he comes to the Cold
Storage hotel. We give him one little
injection OF anabiosa and he goes into
a state Of suspended animation-he
is not dead, he is just in trance.
Now he has said when he wants
to wake up. Suppose he wishes to
remain in the trance for hundred
years, So" Again the counts PEN
Gil was busy; he wrote $1,000 at four
per cent. for 100 years makes $52,-
46S. 5S"-"see how his $1,000 has
worked while he slept. He has quite
a sum. He goes to the bank and
draws 1t out.
Hot Air Baths
Now, here is the treatment" the
count wrote again-"deposit, injection,
liquid air bath, cold storage; 100 years
passes" after the injection we give
the liquid air bath to preserve him,
then we put him in one Of the big
chest drawers, labelled with his
name. An automatic clock is set to.
open the drawer at the end Of 100
years, ten years, whatever time he
chooses The clock rings, the draw
or opens, the attendant says, BY
George that fellows time is upp and
he Is given an injection Of contrabiosa
and q hot air bath and"-the count
clapped his hands-"he is alive again!
I'VE have not formed our company
yet, but II you will send reporter to
my hotel he will find there drawings,
expensive drawings, Of the whole cold
storage plant. Thomas 7. Noonan, Of
New Rochelle, of the Noonan Manufac-
turing Company, is my partner. But
] will not. | will not give that hotel
to New York. It must be In Chicago,
because thati is the center Of the coun-
try.
Now, suppose every one will
laugh at anabiosa and contrabiosa, but
they laughed at my blood TRANSMISSION
theory while ago, and only the other
day the Sun printed long account Of
how girls life was saved by blood
TRANSMISSION. We all have to endure
ridicule, Ben Franklin. Edison. all
great pioneers.
"what am i going to do now? Wen
before go to look for The river Of
doubt / am going to give to New.