New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-05-14

was working out IHlS way, III ~ "Vulo maze
my story all the better, but I might have
really been in hurry for my dinner.
It wasn't long, as the crow flies, before on
of the third assistant walters unloosenei
enough to drop round and see il there was
anything else wanted besides one roll and
knife and spoon. looked over the menu as T.
! were in a pretty captious mood, and then,
with the air of an epicure who has tasted 70
the dregs all the condiments Of Arabia AMI
whose jaded palate refuses to thrill any long.
er. ordered "roast beef"
It was billed as $50 ESQ.," which didn't
strike me as being very steep, considering tde
overhead expense there must be in keeping
little knots of walters and bus-boys standing
round doing nothing in the further corner Of
the room.
The waiter wasn't very enthusiastic over
nv order, and something saved me from ask
ing him if they threw in "a side' Of mashed
potatoes with the meat. He seemed 70 expect
something more, even after | had ordered 20
tatoes, so suggested an artchoke. That
cheered him up more than anything had
done that evening, and he really got quite
fratty and said: "a little salad, SIR" Again
I initiated a man who has had more expert
ence with salads than any other three men
put together and who has found them miser
able sham.
"No; that will be all for now" said, and
turned YEARLY away. wanted 10 tell him tina;
I had a dinner coat at home that looked
enough sight better than his, but there rs no
use in making scene when it can be avoided.
During the next twenty minutes the or
chestra played once and ate my roll Then
the roast beef came.
On silver platter, with a silver cover, II was
placed before me under the best possible scenic
conditions. But the thing that met my gaze
when the cover was lifted might just as well
beef that was keeping company with DAD
Of mashed potato in the Bay State Lunch. Il
had q trihe more fat, was just shade pinSa
and perhaps micrometer could have detecteo
bit more bulk; but, so far as was concerned
or so far as the calories were concerned II W.
the same. won't say that It was the same a.
the Roast Beef Special of the Bowery RsStau'
rant because the service in the Bowery Res
taurant was infinitely better.
As fitting garniture TO such dish, there
was O corsage of watercress draped on TIC
corner Of the salver. At any rate, it could %
said for it that it was not intoxicating. and 50
could never cause any real misery In tbs
world.
nibbled at my roast beef, but my spirit was
broken. I had gone through a week OF sell
denial, ordering roast beef when crayed col
bles. eating at restaurants while my family
waited for me at home, and here was the result
Of my researches: Roast beef is roast beef. ana
nothing can prevent 1t. From the lO-cen' VI
der Of the Busy Home Restaurant, up tnrous"
to the piece was then eating, II was the same
grim reality, the only justification Tor
difference In price being silver salyer OF
waiter in a tuxedo.
"But," said TO myself, sixty cents isnf"
much, at that Besides, have heard the or
chestra play one tune every half-hour, anu
have had kind word from one of the charges
d'affares Of the walters staff"
This quite reconciled me, until my cheek "''
brought There, added TO the initial expehs'
Of sixty cents, was the upkeep, such as "Oo'e''
l0c." Potatoes 20c." And to this must be aoO'
ed the modest fee Of twenty cents to the waiver
and ten cents TO the hat-boy who gave me Wv
wrong hat. Total expense for one piece u
roast beef, sl.30.
These Investigations may not prove 70 "
much of contribution TO modern science u
economics. | doubt il they are ever ineOi
porated in any textbook, even if II should DC '
textbook on this very subject. But | mus
take credit to myself for one thing Not one
throughout the whole report have ! alluded v