New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-07-30
KAVA THE KINET1C.

| don't suppose many OF my readers nave
ever slipped the deectable thirst destroyer
made from the macerated Rhizome of the
Piperaces? Probably not. l sincerely hope
not It's native heath is Samoa, where 1t mas
ouerades under various aliases. Sometimes IL
as called Kava. Then again Arva, or Ava, or
Yawa. 1t is not by accident, either, that it
comes by its spray of titles. You see, II you
once drink Kava you cannot be induced to do
it twice. if you know it is Kava. But under
the sober sounding sobriquet of Ava or Yawa'
how are you to know 1t is the same explosive
LIQUID that as Kava felled you the first time!
I had often read of the celestial inspiration TO
be derived from Hashsh, Sake, and other exotic
LIQUIDS and before landing in Apia- / used to
wonder if Robert Louis Stevensons aflatus had
ever received any assistance from Kava. To-
day | am firm in the belief that it had not.
It was almost under the shadow Of Steven
sons own Vailma that my one brief, never-to-
be-forgotten plunge into bowl of Kava
splashed its way indelibly into my personal
history Afflicted with that intense form OF
molecular curiosity possessed only by tourists
and newspaper reporters, had sneaked of by
myself to pay visit to native hut. There In
a cone-shaped matched, beehive-like abode OF
smell was invited to try the famous Samoan
drink handsome specimen OF the now raro
handmade bowls was handed me. 1t contained
a whitey-gray liquid much befrothed, resem-
bling for all the world that which is found In
the humble boiler on Mondays after the linen
has just been hung out to dry.
Always athirst for knowledge, I tackled It.
Ny first sip tasted all right and ! think be-
came perhaps a little overconfdent and in
creased the pressure Of my intake too speedily
Without going into too many preliminary de-
tails, it is enough to say that five minutes after
my first sip | was whirling through Elysian
fields at one thousand miles an hour seated IN
a ruby-studded monoplane made Of gold and
mother-of- pearl. Twelve blond angels were
plotting me and they kept singing my favorite
hymns. There was an odor Of violets every
where, and a wondrous sunset.
When came to I was lying in what would
have been a corner Of the hut if it had not been
built quite round and rather copiously built
Samoan lady was smiling toerantly at mo
while she famed me with Tapa cloth. One
Of the native gentlemen present looked at me
with a panied expression, which | did not az
first understand, until it was explained that l
had INDUCED in impulsive language directed at
his ancestry just before volplaning through the
heavens. | have a vague recollection that |
apologized or something.
l was also presented with an inventory tabu-
lating various articles of furniture and expen-
sive herlooms which had somehow or other
been utterly destroyed during my Kavagaries.
Under ordinary circumstances | consider 1t
rather vulgar to tell people what one pays for
things, but think you will forgive me il
mention that that one bowl of Kava cost me
in hard cash $3.50 1t is beyond all question
the most expensive drink have ever INDUCED
in. And am giving you only its cost in mere
dollars and cents. The price paid in anguish,
remorse and remembrance cannot be calculated
in coin of any realm.
And now word or two about the manner
of making this Samoan Nut Sundae. Large,
copper-coored ladies, whose facilities for mas