The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-11-02
ales of the Town

Z = =
The devil is a good manager. AS
soon as he puts the flies to bed, he
awakens the mosquitoes.
Z 4 4
From the way flour is rising each
day, it looks as. though we ought to
save something on yeast.
4 4 4
How odd it is" remarked Old Bill
Misgivens, "that man never meets
an automobile going the same way he
is"
Fashion DEGREES that skirts shall
come to the shoe tops this winter,
which is putting rather an unfair bur-
den on the shoe manufacturers.
4 4 4
Mr.. Optimist says that if it had
MT been for Mr.. C. Columbus
whole lot of American men would pro-
badly have been in European trenches
today
= =
Old Bill Misgivens announces that
there will be four votes in his family
this year, and that he controls one
of them. Unusual man-natural lead
car, in fact.
= 4 4
"What is the plural of man., John
n.y." asked the teacher of small
pupil men," promptly answered
Johnny. Correct" said the teacher.
"And what is the plural of 'baby'?"
Twins" was the unexpected reply.
Robert, A years old, was saying his
Having petitioned blessings
for friends and kin, his mother said:
Nov, son, ask God to make you a
good boy" Lets don't bother God
with that" said Robert. "That's your
job"
"The war is keeping them all guess
ng isn't it, Henry?" "Yep. No
body can guess what Greece is going
% do next" "And it's just the same
With butter. There is no telling how
nigh it is going"
An exceedingly smart young man
job in grocery and was
warned not to fall for any of the jokes
hat might be sprung on a new clerk
)ne day a young lady came in and
allied for some bird seed. CAV, go
m" replied the clerk. "You can't fool
ne. Birds is Matched from eggs,
now"
In the moonshine districts of the
south, where whiskey looks and is
trunk like water, strange ideas pre-
all as to what intoxication really is
and here is the story: In village
ne Saturday afternoon, in the mid
lie of the road under the broiling
un a man lay with an empty whiskey
ottle by his side. "He's drunk, lock
i'm up" said the sheriff But wo-
1an hastily interposed saying: "He
int drunk, l jest see his finger
nove."
The life of one young married cou-
lie in town has been one long, sweet |
ear of joy until this morning. The
fife was at breakfast, morose and
yretched. She was snappish with her
usband and would hardly speak to
i'm. Finally the husband insisted
hat he be told why she was treat
lg him so badly and looking at him
nth tears in her eyes, she said: "John
NTH, if l dream again that you
ave been kissing another woman,
ont speak to you again as long as
live"
A huge eating competition had been
ED by some brawny sons of toll in
country town in Yorkshire, and one
f the competitors had succeeded in
isposing of leg of mutton a plenti-
IL supply of vegetables, and plum
udding, the whole washed down with
,pious draughts of ale. He was un-
nimously declared the winner and
as being triumphantly escorted home
hen he turned to his admirers and
lid: "Ah, say lads, don't thee say
owt O. this to my ole woman, or she
ont gle me no dinnerl"
4 Z 4
There is a golden binding chain
lat links the hearts of friends. This
lain is mystic welded by the Mas
RS hand; it is sometimes as fragile
rose leaves, sometimes as strong
steel, sometimes as frivolous as
lighter, sometimes as solemn as
ayers; sure as the return of sea-
ms, constant as the drift of the
ars. Distance nor time, silence nor
aiting, nor the choice of circum-
ances can tarnish the chain made
light by some happy hours of close
'mpanionship. Nothing can make
forget the sweet comfort of a
lend Ada M Kassimer