Cut Bank pioneer press. [volume] (Cut Bank, Mont.) 1909-current, 1916-12-08

contributed TO.
What "boob" said: Nobody loves
a fat man?
All but the blind cackle at the fat.
it is true; but a mar who has to
carry his stomach in a hammock
more often is popular than not
de facto, or de stomacho, as one
might say.
Mr.. William Keatin state auditor
of this great and growing common
wealth of Montana, is fat. Everett
True, of the "funnies," has nothing
or William on retundity; and Incl
dentally from Mondak to Thompson
Falls, from Eureka to Monida, you
journey eight days a week and find
no more popular fellow.
Speaking of Heating, there has
just come to light a most amusing
story, which not only illustrates his
statewide popularity but indicates
what an alarming percent of suckers
are born every minute, even among
men of affairs.
Two years ago while the legisla-
ture was in session, there wal in at
tendance a certain c~arpet-bagger who
as a mixer stood alone in class Al.
H was a stranger in the state, from
away down back east, and he had
no business in particular and II he
had he was too drunk to tell about
1t; but he remained during the en-
tire session and he met and became
intimate with every last soul in the
| capitol.
That Silver Set.
The assembly over, this enterpris-
ing individual ~"tadeG," and. until
recently, was heard or no more. Let
us call him Jones.
A prominent railway man from
the eastern end of the state came
into Helena not long ago and met
Heating on the street. "Lo, Bill"
said he, chow did the silver set go?"
"Whadd'ye mean, silver set?" de-
manded Bill, who, being from Mis-
soula, would be content with pewter.
why didn't you get-what TELL"
exclaimed the railway man. "Why
Jones got a tenner off me?"
1t developed that Zones" had
looked up this railway man in his
home city, 500 after the legisla-
ture adjourned, and said that in
recognition of Keating's kindness to
all who had visited the capitol, dur
ing the period the houses were in
session, there was a little movement
on foot to raise a few hundred dol
lars and present the auditor with a
swell silver set. The railway nan
fell-and 30, Heating learned, on =
quiry, did some more OF his friends.
How much the mixer Jones" raised
in this fashion may eve be known.
But Heating is still dining off clay.
Strong for Missoula
A loyal citizen of Missoula, is the
auditor; not an offensive booster,
but one of those quiet, intensive citi-
zens who lives n dies convinced
that while New York may be all
right in its way and London may
get off very we'll, for hal sort of
thing, his W burg is the only real
ly truly.
Now and then his friends have
some fun with him about his home
town.
We all remember how deadly dull
it was in 1914. Missoula was no
duller than the rest of the state, but
during the Butte riots, when Heating
loftily remarked how orderly Mis-
soula always had been, a Butte man
retorted that the reason they never
had a riot in Missoula was hat the
grass grew so high in the streets
that you couldn't get a crowd to-
gether-and Bill had to go way back
and ssum a recumbent position. 1t
was about this time that some of the
wags here put n over that peeved
Heating, as a Muscular with an
IN" four feet high-peeved him SO
that he still repeats the aspersion
in high indignation. This wag
rushed up to Bill and asked II he
had heard of the horror" in Mis-
soula.
mo, what?" gasped the auditor,
who is too fat to play tricks of that
D sort with. He said his heart stopped
beating, for he surmised right off
that Bull Higgins had stepped on
Y the Missoula avenue bridge and
, broken it down.
Awful" explained the wag.
wiping his brow in memory of the
details. "a rumor got about the
financial district that a guy had got
: off at the Milwaukee depot in Mis-
0 soula with two dollars-and there
was a panic and AZ killed"
Now, why do they let 'em roam
e at Target" Bill will complain, when
o he repeats the stcry.