The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-11-16
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X. Y. T. house?
Gink on the other end-Uh huh.
You--s Smith there?
Gink-Sure-do you want to speak
to him?
You-No, | just wanted to kill time
that's all.-Purple Cow.
He Ceiling joke from the "Follies')
do you get me?
Shelf it is what | think il is,
don't, and you're no gentleman.
Jack o'Lantern.
She-Did you know that ankle
watches have become all the rage?
He Yes, so | see.
She-Oh, you horrid thing You can
not!-Princeton Tiger.
Voice from above--What's the mat
ter Mary doesn't that young man
know how 10 say goodnight?
Mary thrilled -Mm-mm. | should
say he does.-Jack o'Lantern.
Rube-Wlat would you say of a
drunkard who beat his wife?
Boob-Id say he was addicted to
ok'er-California Pelican
Jake-What is meant by rafting
OF dry bones?
Blake-Shaking dice for drinks.
Williams Purple Cow
There was a young chap named Van
Dusen
He'd garters but never would use EN-,
AS matter OF course
Centrifugal force
Would pull his socks down and he'd
lose 'em.--Princeton Tiger
First Stewed-Why do you drink so
much?
Second Ditto-To drown my
troubles.
First Ditto-Do YOU get away with
it?
Second Ditto--No, confound EN-.
they can swim.-Purple Cow
marriage notice between Jane
Lennon and Ebenezer Sweet was
thusly announced in the Painted Post
Dispatch:
How happily extremes do meet
'Twixt Jane and Ebenezer,
She was sour, but now she's Sweet,
And he's a Lemmon.squeezer
Penn Punch Bowl
The Irrepressible-Sp Speaking OF
nicknames, of course my regular one
is BIZ, but all the girls call me up
Harvard Lampoon.
Corpulent occupant of the front
seat---Hey, young Teller, would you
mind telling me something?
Y. Yeah?
C. o. O. F. S.-Do you play chess?
Y. Yeah.
c. o. 0. F. Swell. move your
queen.-Purple Cow.
Arnold-Yes. that's garter snake.
Minnie Qnnocently)-Why, it's
much too Medley.
see that the French have discard
ed mitrailleuse.
Oh. I'm so glad! | could never
make mine hang properly in back
Record.
Bah Jove you know. these Ameri
can fraternity customs are deucedly
peculiar ! am reliably informed that
when one membah greets anothah he
gives him he-ah--iniluenza Fawncy
now.-Cornell Widow.
Rookie-And we camped in the
shadow Of the pyramids; they were
simply covered with hieroglyphics.
Stacker-Good Lord, did any of the
dirty things get on you?-Awgwan.
Barefaced Junior-Yes, I'm trying
to raise a mustache and I'm wonder
ing what color it will be when it
comes out.
Miss Green-Grey, | should say, at
the rate 1t appears to be growing
Yale Record.
Wise Gent saw Edith getting into
her new Flanders this morning.
Utter Nut--What are fanders?-
Stanford Chapparal.
Madge-Dont you think girl
should marry an economical man?
DOLLY suppose so; bat it's awful
being engaged TO one
Drug Clerk Now, what kinl of a
toothbrush did you want?
Ole Oleson-Oh it mus be strong
wan; dere Lane seven ano ma lamlee.
Purple Cow.
Tickle Nymph against her princi
plee) YOU the post man?
Picked Shrimp against the mail
box)-No-hic-thatsh only the way
stand.-Jack o'Lantern.
Getout--Who makes these pool
chips"
Why, the makers names
are on the other side
Getout-Who are they?
Getunder--Pat n d-Nebraska
Awgwan.
The lightning bug is beautiful bird,
But hasn't any mind;
He dashes through this 90 orld OF ours,
His headlight on behind,-Cor-
nell Widow
Education heeinS the gentleman. hut
reading. good company and reflection
must finish him i Orkp.