davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Two Ways of "Cleaninp Up"

Some years ago young man from
a small country town, on visiting Gin
cinnati, walked into one of the down.
town barber shops to have his hair
cut.
After the barber had clipped for
some time on the young mans head, he
asked him if he hadn't better have his
hair cleaned up. The young man, after
glancing at the hair on the floor and
thinking the barber was trying to put
one over on him, said he guessed not"
After asking the same question sew
eral times to no avail the barber gave
it up. The young man paid his bill
and went from the shop, laughing to
himself, thinking he wasn't so green
after all.
AfterWard it .dawned on him that
the barber wanted only to give him
shampoo.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
VILLA MOVING ON JUAREZ.
Carranza Leader, Driven From Chi.
huahua City,, to Join Murguia and
Attempt Recapture.

Carranza Leader, Driven From Chi.
huahua City,. to Join Murguia and
Attempt Recapture.
Ell Paso, Tex, Nov. 2S.-Villa is
moving northward from Chihuahua
City, according to dispatch from
Gen. Trevino received by Gen. Con
zales at Juarez, who was ordered to
concentrate his forces here in de-
Tense. A private message, coming over
the same route, adds that not only is
Villa proceeding north, but he is in
control of Chihuahua City, which Gen.
Trevino is said to have abandoned,
proceeding southwark. Gen. Trevino,
according to the private report, said
that after effecting a junction with
Gen. Murguia, he would return and
recapture Chihuahua.
The message from Gen. Trevino
was sent in code by way of Ojinaga.
opposite the Texas town of Preside.
where it was relayed. 1t said, accord.
ing to Carranza officials, that Villa
was moving north and ordered the de.
tached garrisons along this section of
the frontier and on the Mexico North.
western line to concentrate in Juarez.
The message, they added, spoke of
this as the fifth day of Villas attack.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Poisoned by Thousands
(By L. Fl. SMITH, M. d.

many times more potent than lithia,
and many find that it dissolves uric
acid as water does sugar.
DR.. Weir Mitchell once said: "What
we call diseases are only symptoms of
conditions. Allow the mans vitality to
be reduced to certain point, and he is
ripe for any of these weaknesses, or
certain conditions which we call dis
ease."
Through failure of kidneys to act,
through congestion, inflammation, any
PERSONS condition is ripe for disease
to fasten it's hold upon the system.
Anuric has been tested for the past
few years for kidney, bladder, uric acid
troubles, rheumatism, gout, and such
ailments as follow, and so many cases
both acute and stubborn have yielded
to this wonderful remedy that do not
hesitate to recommend it.--Adv.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Simple Question to Answer.

The editor of the correspondence
columns had very busy day-a very
busy day, indeed. So busy, in fact,
that he had to enlist the services of
the ''sub" to read out the correspond
ence.
What is the next query?" he asked,
when he had gone half way through
the pile of letters.
"Oh," replied the "sub," "a reader
wants to know how to prevent the
hairs in his mustache from falling
out. What shall put down, sir?''
"Well," answered the editor, with q
sigh, ''just put down: "The best way
to prevent hairs from falling out is tC
brush them lightly apart and keep
them from quarreling."
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

The victims of auto-intoxication are
many thousand. BY reason of the tox-
ins, or poisons, bred in the intestines,
these poisonous bacteria are sent all
thru the blood channels and the victim
feels tired, sleepy and headachy, or
the brain doesn't work as usual. The
best treatment for this is to drink hot
water before breakfast-plenty of wa
ter all day and procure supply of DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, made of May
apple, leaves of aloe, etc., with no
calomel, entirely vegetable, which can
be obtained at drug stores for 25 cents.
Equally important is it to cleanse
kidneys and bladder, and drinking plen-
tifully of pure water will cleanse them
to a certain extent. Then obtain at the
drug store little Anuric. This is to
be had in 50-cent packages. Anuric
should be taken before meals. 1t is
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
TURKEYS for u. S. Troopers.

Columbus, N. M.-Sixteen thousand
pounds of dressed turkeys, 1000
pounds of cranberries, 100 boxes of
apples and oranges, 1000 pounds OF
plum pudding and 1000 pounds OF
candy and other dainties were shipped
south for Thanksgiving dinners for
the troops of the punitive expedition.
Thirty-three motor trucks, in COM
mand of Capt. w. F. Herringshaw,
conveyed the cargo. The lead trucks
carried muslin streamers bearing in
red letters the words "The Turkey
Train"
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
ThouuhtfUI Wife,

A man condemned to be hanged was
visited the day preceding his execution
by his wife Gan ignorant woman), who,
as the sequel will show, intended to
have no hitch in the carrying out of
the sentence. After the anxious in
quiries about his health had been made
and answered he noticed that she had
two parcels, and asked what was in
them.
Wife-This one contains a change of
linen for you.
HuSband-And the other one?
Wife-Oh, that is the clOthesline. l
brought it, as 1 did not know whether
they found the rope or we had to
provide One."
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
HAD ALL QUALITIES NEEDED
One Small Thing That Screen Star
Lacked Was Not at All Neces-
sary for Success.

II can," said the bashful young man
to the director Of the film company
"swim, fence, box, shoot, ride horse
run a motor boat, play golf, fight, make
love, fall off cliffs, rescue heroines
play football, die naturally and kiss a
girl"
But" interrupted the famous direc.
tor "can you act?"
"Alas !" muttered the would-be
screen hero, II never thought of that y
Engaged" growled the director, and
another screen star was bOrn.-Life.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Prof. SchmitZ.

Dodd's Kidney Pills and they relieved
me again. l used three boxes. That
is now three years ago and my Back
ache has not returned in it's severity,
and by using another two boxes lit
tie later on, the pain left altogether
and have had no trouble since. You
may use my statement. I recommend
Dodd's Kidney Pills when and wher-
ever can" Dodd's Kidney Pills, SOC.
per box at your dealer or Dodd's Medi-
,ine Co., Buffalo, N. Y.-Adv.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
POSTPONED.

Little Dorothy's mother had spoken
to her several times about teasing the
cat, whose name was Teddy.
Finally she said, dorothy, I want
you to leave that poor cat alone, and
I am not going to speak about it again
tonight"
dorothy looked around at the cat
and said, threateningly, Cali right, Mr..
Teddy-cat, but you'll catch it tomor-
row."-Woman's Home Companion.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Cattle Epidemic Stirs Officials.

Chicago. - Possibility of another
foot and mouth epidemic loomed
when orders closing the union stock,
yards against the shipment of any cat.
tie, sheep or swine except for imme.
diate slaughter were issued by State
Veterinarian Dyson at Springfield. A
similar order was directed against the
National Stockyards in East st. Louis
The action followed the receipt OF
word of suspected outbreak of the
scourge in Nebraska, Kansas and
Missouri.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
MEAN TRICK HARD TO BEAT
According to Fat Plumber, He Wit
messed Action That Would Seem
to Be the Limit.

II have spotted another tmeanest
man."
1t was the fat plumber who spoke.
who is it this timer" the thin car
penter asked.
"Umson.'
"What's Unison been doing?"
"He took me to dinner with him in
swell hotel the other evening""
''Do you call that mean?"
"NO, but listen"
Il am listening"
"When we had finished he took a
small piece of tinfoil that had covered
a little square of cheese"
"Uh huh"
"Placed it on silver dollar to get
a perfect impression"
"Yes-''
"And then left the impression on
his plate so the waiter would think
he was getting a fine tip."-Youngs-
town Telegram.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
He Knew.

Little Edward was listening careful
ly to the conversation of his elders,
did not understand, when he heard
his grandfather call a certain person
an optimist. Edward frightened.
"Oh,' cried he, II know what that
ls!''
"Wen, Edward" said his grandfa-
ther, "what, then, is an optimist?"
"Why," said Edward, ''the man who
fits you with spectacles !"
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
RED, ROUGH, PIMPLY SKIN
Quickly Cleared by Cuticura Soap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

You may rely on these fragrant,
super-creamy emollients to care for
your skin, scalp, hair and hands. Moth
ing better to clear the skin of pimples,
blotches, redness and roughness, the
scalp Of dandruff and itching and the
hands of chapping and soreness.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Can You Beat IT.?

Mrs. Exe-My girl has left me. She
said had so much company there was
TOO much work to do.
Mrs. Wye-That's singular. Mine
has left me, too. She said l had so
little company it showed l had no So
cial position.-Boston Evening Tran-
script.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Pretty Often, Too.

During a Bible lesson a teacher was
tares.
"Can anyone tell me any person who
is like the evil one who sowed the
tares?'
A hand instantly shot up from the
foot of the class.
"Well, David, what person do you
say?"
please, ma'am, my mother"
'Why?" asked the teacher in aston
ishment.
Because" answered he, eying
his patched trousers, "she sews tears. "
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

it's last stages, I
tried Dodd's Kid
ney Pills. After
using two boxes I
was somewhat re-
lieved and I STOP
ped the treatment.
In the spring of
the next year I
had another at
tack 7 went for
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
What She Said.

there, mamma. She often speaks to
me.
Mother-Yes, darling, and what does
she say to you?
Little Ernest - She - she says
"Don't you dare to throw stones at my
dog again, you little wretch ]"
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Exception Noted.

II believe everything appeals 10
Smiths sense of humor."
II didn't when he fell down on
concrete pavement and hit his funny
bone"
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Still, There Are Some.

"Gosh ding!"
whats the matter, friend2"
81 wish 1 could find hotel that was
run to suit me-"
tits a difficult matter, friend. This
hotel isn't run to suit me, and yet 1
own t."-Louisville Courier-J Journal.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Important Consideration.

"Your husbands Office doesn't ap-
pear very busy" remarked one woman.
NO." replied the other, "but it's
very useful. 1t gives him some place to
90 when he isn't playing golf"
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
DRUGGISTS HIGHLY RECOMMEND
DIR. KILMER'S SWAMP-ROO1
Customers Speak Favorably

We. have been handling DR.. Kilmer'a
Swamp-Root for fourteen years and dur
ing all that time we never had dis
satisfied user of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp
Root; all of our customers speak very
favorably regarding it. We know of
cases of Gall Stones, Gravel, Catarrh or
Inflammation of Bladder and Rheuma-
tism where it produced the most benef-
cial results. We believe it is a good
medicine for the diseases for which it il
intended.
Very truly yours,
McCUNE DRUG CO.,
By N. E. McCune,
Bridgeport, Texas.
November 11th 1919
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
THE PROFESSORS STATEMENT.

Prof. Aug. F. w. Schmitz, Thomas.
Okla, writes: II was troubled with
Backache for about twenty-five years.
When told I had Bright's Disease in
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Satisfied With Results

I have been selling DR.. Kilmer's
Swamp-Root for six and one-half years
and my; customers are always satisfied
with the results obtained from the use
of the medicine and speak favorably re-
garding it. I have used it for "pain in
the back" and bottle or two put me in
good shape and made me feel fine again.
I believe DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root will
cure any cases for which it is recommend
ed if they are not of too long standing.
Very truly yours,
FRANK JENKINS, Druggist.
Pilgrim, Texas.
Novemher 11th 1015
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

Life is the growth from little things
% great.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

The vain show attracts the eye, but
makes heavy the heart.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Only a Goat Could Do 1t.

First Goat-How did you get rich?
Second Goat-Saving hat checks by
eating my hat.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

To keep clean and healthy take DR..
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. They regulate
liver, bowels and stomach.-Adv.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

You gotta get down to bizness; it
won't come down to you.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Prove What Swamp Root Will Do For You

Kler N. Y,
will
at
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

Red Cross Bag Blue, much better, goes
farther than liquid blue. Get from any
grocer. Adv.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

Smile on wash day. That's when you use
Red Cross Bag Blue. Clothes winter than
snow. All grocers. Adv.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

Prosperity is often the forerunner
Of calamity.
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02
Masculine Form.

"What is a hunch?
ga hunch is the masculine equiva-
lent of feminine intuition"
The Benson signal., 1916-12-02

He conquers twice who conquers
himself in victOry.-Syrus Eliot.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
Space Basis Is Substituted for.
Present Weight System of
Paying for Carrying Uncle
Sans Mail
50.P0UND LIMIT ON
PARCELS POST RETAINED
New Measure in Harmony
With Recommendation Of
PoStmasters General of
Many Administrations,

Washington, Feb. 2S---Over bitter
and persistent opposition the house
tonight passed the annual postofficc
appropriation bill with its provisions
for substituting a space basis for the
present weight system Of paving rail-
roads for carrying mails and prohib-
ing any increase IN the existing limit
of fifty pounds on parcels post pack
ages. The measure carries appr0piia-
tons aggregating S3sl. 100000 to op-
crate the postal system during tho
coming year.
The fight against the space payment
plan. long advocated by the postpffiee
department and vigorously opposed by
the railroads, was led by Representa-
tive Cannon, Of Illinois His proposal
that the matter of rate adjustment be
left to tho Interstate Commerce COM
mission was defeated, 10 to 81.
Representative Lewis. Of Maryland,
eontended to the last for l00-pound
limit for the parcels post. He declared
the limit of fifty pounds would hog
tic the parcels post service and send
mp The stocks of the express COM
panics
The bill finally was passed without
a record vote, a motion to send It
back to the committee was voted
down, IA TO 1879.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
WOOD DOESN'T THINK
MUCH OF THE MILITIA

New York, Feb 2S.-Mai. Cen,
Leonard Wood, United States army. In
command Of the department of the
east. speaking here tonight before
1000 members Of engineer societies.
criticized the stnte militia of the
United States and said that its organi-
zation would never be q success In
ease Of war. I'm his opinion the at
tempt to create a new standing army
from the militia would be unsuccess-
ful and he intimated that he would
rather wait for the organization of a
volunteer force.
ITS fine thing that men Of your
type have manifested so much interest
in the work of preparedness" asserted
General Wood The time has come
when the people Of this country stand
in the most need of preparedness. We
have been complacently relying on a
false impression produced by our
schoobook histories which have never
told the truth about our wars and our
achievements. These histories
have CLOSED over our failures and ex-
our successes. in fact, so
masnified them that we have come to
believe we are uncomfortable as a ma
tion."
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
GERMANS MASSACHED
BY THE FRENCH FIRE

Parts. Feb, 27--(5O5 p. M, do
layed) IA frightful massacre, Is
how German soldiers taken prisoner
in the battle of Nerdun describe the
effect of the French artillery, ma
chine gun and rifle fire. But tho
impetus of the assaulting forces was
not diminished thereby during the
first four DAYS because OF the fresh
troops thrown into the battle unceas-
ingly.
Advance no matter what tho
losses may be-" was the order given
To the German troops before the at
tack This Is verified by documents
found on one of the captured Off
GERS.
The most critical moment in tho
six days actions was when the GER
mans gained footing in the en-
trenched camp by the capture of
Fort Douaumont The least hesita-
ton on the part of the defenders
wunld have been disastrous. The
Germans redoubled their efforts "a
talk, advantasc of any confusion. but
the French Immediately began a
'French infantry advanced 1T
double quick TO the trumpet charso
and lcaped at the first ranks of the
Germans with Irresistible fury The
clash was muiderous to both sides
The thinned French ranks were not
to be denied. but went on to the se',-
ond German wing. while reinforce
ments were hurried TO their support
The German lines wavered first west
OF Douaumont. then were driven out
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
THREE KILLED,
MANY INJURED
BY EXPLOSION
Five Cases of Dynamite Tear
Great Hole in Ground in ST.
Louis Suburbi 80 Houses
Are Demolished,

St Louis. Feb. 2S Three persons
are known to have been Killed and
many injured seven Of them serious
ly. when five cases Of dynamite stored
at Maplewood for sewer construction
work. exploded late this afternoon.
Mapiewood Is a suburb Of about 5,0OO
population adjoining 81 Louis on the
southwest
Approximately thirty houses were
demolished by the explosion and
many other houses were damaged
Early tonight searching parties were
exploring he ruins for more bodies
which il is was feared had been
buried in the Wrrckage.
The identified dend
MRS BESSIE BENNETT of Green
field. H.
MISS EFFuE BARNETT, maid at
the home of A. l.. Chenery, which
was demolished.
MISS MAGGIE EVANS
First reports were that the eNplo-
sion had resulted in an appalling loss
OF lifo aud that 100 had been injured.
An available ambulHncos and patrol
WAGONS ir ST. fouis ana four fire
companies were rushed 10 Ma
plewood.
At ali early hour tonight the cause
Of the explosion was not known. y
hole sixty feet IN diameter and fifteen
deep was torn IN The ground by the
blast. which was heard several miles
away.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
MINNEAPOLIS AROUSED
OVER VICE SITUATION
icy MORNING Journal SPECIAL LEASED WIRE

Minneapolis. Feb. 2S.-~An investi-
cation of vice conditions in Minneap-
oils was decided upon today after OIL
ficials of the county attorneys office
had questioned a fifteen-year old
girl, for some time missing from her
home, who told of being forced into
a life of shame.
Club women and welfare workers
are investigating chain of question:
able hotels and will present the evi-
dencc gathered to the grand jury.
A man known as kid" Scully,
wanted in connection with the dis
appearance of the girl. who is the
daughter of a South Minneapolis min
ister, was arrested late today at Hot
Springs, Ark. on information fur
nished by the local police according
to a telegram to the police depart
mcOt
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
CONFLICTING REPORTS
REGARDING DlNZ

New orleans, FEB. 2s.-confilctns
ranor,s as TO Felix Diaz present
whereabouts and his ultimate destina-
lion wore current tonight IN New Or
cans Lalin-American colony.
From one source the Information
was obtained that Diaz had gone 70
New York to confer with some OF ms
leading followers there.
information from other sources was
that. accompanied by Lee Christmas
he loft here last Tuesday by train for
KEY West. where tEey were to em-
bark Friday or Saturday for Cuba.
later. according TO this report Diaz
intended to go Frontera. IN the state
of Tabasco, in southern Mexico, where
his followers were to be assembled
and military operations begun.
If was learned today that number
of Mexieans formerly associated with
Diaz had left New orleans recently for
cuba. II was recalled also that Col
oneI Hipolito Villa. brother Of Fran
ciscn villa, had been in Cuba several
(Coniinued on Faye Two)
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
plead Guilty of Murder

Pittsburg, Pa. Feb. 2S.--Willianl
Mcclure and Joseph White pleaded
guilty in court this morning to tho
murder Of Mrs Caroline Viehmier u
wealthy widow whose body was found
in her home In McCandless township
December last. Her son-in-law,
Aaron Fell. whom Mcclure and White
declare paid them $50 TO attack Mrs.
viehmier, IN order that he might Sc
cure possession Of note for 1900
she held against him. was placed on
trial charged with completely in the
crime.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1916-02-29
SLOW PROGRESS
BY WATERP0WE
BILL IN SENATE
Shields Measure Likely to Be
Modified by Myers Amend
ment; Lease System Is Pro-
vided For,
isy posa,ao JOURNAL SPECIAL LEASED w'esi


Washnston. Feb 2s-Senators in
terested in legislation for the devel-
opment Of water power planned TO-
day to shorten debate on the SUD
iect of attaching as an amchdhleh ht
to the Shields dam bill, now up iot
passage. the Myers water power plli, ,
which has been favorably reported
by the public lands committee.
The Shields bill which would per-
nit construction of dams on navlsa-
ble rivers for the development ol
hvdro-electric power by private capi-
tal has been before the senate more
than two weeks. Much of the arsu-
ment both for and against the
measure applies equally to the Myers
measure which was introduced by
Senator Myers as substitute 10 the
Ferris water power bill which has
passed the house. 80
Provision is made in the Myers blii
for the leasing of public lands as
water power sites; regulation ana
control being left to the interstate
commerce commission when the pow
er il developed in two or more states.
Appljcants for lease would have to
comply with requirements OF sea'e
laws for obtaining the right to ute
the water. Fifty per cent OF tne
return from such leases would ne
Maid to the state in which the plant
was located, and the other SO per
cent would 20 to the fund for recla-
nation projects in arid states.
The Shields bill made some aa-
vances toward passage during the
dav An amendment by senator
Cunnins which received the ap-
nroval of Senator Shields, provides
tha comnensation shall be arrived at
by the law of the state governing .ne
of private property tor
public use in that state.