The Washington herald., 1916-02-20
CLOSE-UP VIEWS OF FOLK WORTH KNOWING
Tales of Statesmen-Real and Near
By FRED C. KELLY.
Copyright
Copyright, lsl6)


Vice President Marshall is the most
popular diner-out in Washington. This Is
partly because every hostess feels that
II sets OF a dinner party to have a Vice
President in its midst, but more because
Marshall is good company and never fails
TO keep the guests amused with his merry
quips and cute little snappy bits OF In
diana philosophy.
Mrs. Marshall was recovering from an
illness when Congress convened last De-
! cember. and the Vice President lodged a
good many social engagements. Other
wise he would have had either a spea king
dt!te or dinner date every single night
from the first of December until along
In March, when Lent sets in. Imagine
never having a night to yourself for
three months at a stretch-never a
chance to stay in and do nothing but just
mooch around the house.
There are many days when Marshall
has much less privacy than the average
window trimmer
Sometimes" the Vice President once
told me. I'm half tempted to put on
my evening clothes as soon as / get up
in the morning and Just slip on a nice
set OF blue overalls to work in
There Is one important difference be-
tween inviting the Vice President to din
ner and inviting the President 1t is not
good etiquette to ask the President to
dinner unless the invitation ia accom-
panied by the list of guests who are to be
present. The theory is that when you
can land as good job as that OF Presi-
dent of the United States you are enti-
tied not TO have your evening spoiled by
being at dinner with somebody who
might try to buttonhole you and discuss
something of individual rather than gen.
eral interest.
A mere Vice President. however, is
obliged to take his chances.
George Holden Tinkham is a new
bachelor Congressman from Boston,
noted-or at least he ought to be motel.
and doubtless soon will be-for HAVING
the most horrible signature in Col-
gTess.
When he signs his name it suggests
the signature of a careless hen dashed
off hastily in radish bed. Only once
in his life has Tinkham ever written
his name in a way that made 1t even
half legible. That was when he pre-
pared a sample signature for the pur
pose of having a facsimile made to go
on his official envelopes. Tinkham
worked for more than an hour on that.
And when he got through IL was no
more like his regular handwriting than
If he had hired a stranger to do IL for
him.
When Tinkham first came to Wash
ington he inadvertently caused all the
other Massachusetts Consressmen to
answer more telephone calls than they
ever had before. The reason was this:
Various government departments kept
receiving letters from some Massachu-
sets member whose name they were
unable to decipher. and they were
obliged to call other members to learn
who it was that signed his name with
his foot.
Today TTnkhams secretary wisely
typewrltes the Congressman's name
right beneath the signature. In that
way anybody who receives a letter
from Tinkham can easily tell who has
sent it.
Aside from his chirography, Tinkham
seems to be all right. There are per-
sons who claim to be able to read char
acter from handwriting. Such a person
would put Tinkham down for a dissi
pated yeggman. But he would do the
man a grave injustice. The reason Tink-
ham writes the way he does is because
he is eager to get at something else.
He is brisk chap: always In hurry.
Nothing distresses him SO much as q
slow train. or In fact, any slow means
of transporta ton. Every morning he
becomes almost apoplectic in his annoy
ance at the easy pace taken by the
street car which conveys him from his
home to Capitol Hill. II happens that
Tinkham is on the District of Columbia
Committee and he declares that the COM
mttee could perform no greater work
than to speed up the street cars in
Washington.
Tinkham's habit of doing things At
high speed includes getting dressed in
the morning. He dresses In such haste
that he never knows Just what he has
on until hours later. As a rule. though
his sartorial layout includes . red neck