New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-06-11
But Some Are Too Small
10 Hurt the Vacuum
Cleaner.
THAT, FOR INSTANCE,
OF w. q. WEBSTER
Only Two Men Admit Vice-Pres-
idential Ambitions, Though
Job Pays $4,000.
BY HAYWOOD BROUN.

cleaner ooughed Il could manage the
buttons and the hatbands, but every
now and again IL encountered a broken
boom. Some were hard 20 swallow. One
went down at q gulp. There was not
the slightest difficulty in sweeping up
an that remained OF the candidacy Of
William Grant Webster for the Vice
Presidency of the United States.
This may have been due TO the fact
that his name was placed before the
convention IN one Of the most remark
able nominating speeches ever record
ed His sponsor from the State of Ore
con did not assert that Mr. Webster
was even a ninth CARBON copy Of Abra-
ham Lincoln. He admitted that his can
d.date had not a chance Of securing the
nomination. and added that possibly IL
was a little ridiculous 60 introduce his
name.
40 this point the speaker was inter
ruptcd by another Oregonian who
thought that he was too enthusiastic
IN presenting the claims OF 0regon's
fsyorite foster son. He explained that
Oregon had never heard Of William
Grant Webster. OF Illinois. but that the
state direct pr nary law permitted any
body 20 have name placed on the
ballot Webster was the only one TO
enter the state primary as Vice
Presidential sndidste, and therefore
By the terms Of the law Oregon was
bound 10 support him. And there the
eulogy ended.
Chicago Thinks Him Harmless.
Chicago knows William Grant Web
ster and regards him as harmless He
IS also known IN Ohio. where he planned
10 run in the state primary for Vice
Presidential preference. Here. too, he
might have had walkawsy, but
through 2 mistake his name was put
in the Presidential column, and he got
no votes. Mr. Webster is still spoken
Of IN Ohio as "the clerical error
But the candidate mad his reward.
On the first and only Vice Presidential
ballot taken in the Republican National
Convention he received two votes.
Some sixteen hours in all were re-
qEred 20 choose the nominee Of the
Republican party for President. but the
candidate for the Nice-Presidency Was
selected IN little less than an hour
The low estate Of the Office is extraor-
binary. In spite Of the joke lore which
has grown up the job is good one.
The Nice-Ppsident draws a salary of
$4,000 a year and has the use Of a
good automobile. More than that, he
IS no long shot for the Presidency. In
thirty-two Presidential terms FIVE men
have succeeded to the White House by
the death of the President. II is only
little worse than 10 l that the Vice
President will 90 higher.
The odds made little appeal to-day
With the exception Of William Grant
webster, only one man admitted that
ne wanted TO be Niee-President. He is
Elmer J. Burkett. of Nebraska. How
ard Baldridge. who nominated him in a
long speech, took a toe hold in the
platform and shouted: Ts loyalty al
ways to go unrewarded ?" The answer.
as usual, is Yes" Charles Warren
Fairbanks received 1863 votes and Bur
kett got l08. The ensuing demonstra-
ton lasted twenty-six seconds.
SmoOt as an Actor.
Il was not much OF day FOR demon
STATIONS, not in the Coliseum, at any
rate. The choice Of Hughes brought
only six minutes Of cheering, although
there was an additional ten minutes Of
visiting and milling around in the
sisles.
The one dramatic moment OF the con-
vention occurred when Reed Smoot
read the telegram from Theodore
Roosevelt. The lank man from Utah is
4 bit Of an actor. As he delivered the
message from Oyster Bay he either
consciously or unconsciously picked up
one OF two Of the mannerisms Of the
Colonel Whatever his sympathies may
have been, he gave Theodore Roosevelt
earnest elocutionary support The
strong points Of the message were en-
rhasized with fist strokes and his voice
grew high and metallic in the crises.
As an imitation 1t deserves TO rank sec
ond only TO Elsie Janis's impersons-
ton Of Ethel Barrymore.
Il was not the fault Of Smoot that
the Lodge recommendation failed to
stampede the convention. A Lodge
stampede Is almost a contradiction in
words. II such a thing were indeed
possible, we haven't a doubt in the
world that il would be carried on 10
the accompaniment Of penetrating
cries Of "Fiercely, fellows Fiercelyl"
The tumult and the shouting. such as
they were, have died. The captains
and kings and the delegates and Mr..
Brown and the reporters and the favor
ite-son fat ladies have departed. They
were u tickle lot, those favorte-son fat
ladies. All wore Hughes badges to-day.
Big Mike has the floor now. His
power is as great as that Of Penrose,
Murray Crane and Barnes put together.
He has only TO say sweep" and every
nan in the building will obey him.
It's a hard task that Big Mike and
his delegates have before them. His
tory in the making is mussy thing.
Ask Mike. and he will tell you that
there's never a world crisis but leaves
It's egg shells, its broken ham sand
wiches and its lemon soda bottles be-
hind u.