The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1916-08-31
A Rip Van Wrinkle
Story
BY OSCAR cox

dIter tramp, IN tne muule OF july
1895. and slept the twenty years his
great-great- great-Grandfather had slept
In the Catskill mountains, in America.
Like his progenitor. he was on height
and could look down on a broad ex-
panse of country. 1t was the same
season as that in which he had COM
menced his slumber, so he didn't realize
that he had slept u couple of decades.
What a peaceful scene!' he re-
marked. ut makes me feel like taking
another nap"
Hearing a buzzing sound above. he
looked up.
my good gracious" he exclaimed.
Have whales from the sea got into
the air?'
A Zeppelin was swimming along lazA
lily. Mr.. Stone watched it till it passed
out of sight, wondering what 1t could
be. Beneath him, running from north
east to southeast, was an Ill defined
zigzag line. He didn't remember hav-
ing seen it when he went to sleep.
While he was wondering how it came
there he saw q flock of birds rising
from the other side of hin and come
toward him. AS they approached they
grew larger and larger, and when they
passed over his head he saw men on
them.
"Great Scottv he exclaimed Whats
the matter with nae? First, the world
seems turned upside down and whales
swim where the birds should be. Next,
men ride by on the backs of birds"
A party of men In uniform rode up
in an auto to point near where he
was gaping. and one Of them brought
binoculars to bear on the country be-
low. They were German general
and his staff. Stone spoke French
pretty well and hailed them.
Hello, you fellows! What are you
doing eavorting In uniform in these
peaceful timesr
The men looked at him curiously,
and one Of them asked him in German
who he was and what he was doing
there He said he was an American
on tramp: then. rising, he was be-
ginning to descend the declivity when
one of the officers asked him where he
was going.
"To Paris" was the answer.
II hope you'll succeed in doing so"
was the reply "We've been trying to
get there for year and haven't ac-
complished the feat yet"
The American started down the de-
clivity.
"See here, my man. do you want to
walk straight to your deathT"
How can l walk to my death going
down into that quiet country"
whats the matter with you? Don't
you see that zigzag line down there?
"Yes, and I can't make out what it
means"
ut means 100000 or 100000 Of
men. armed with all the implements
OF modern warfare"
"What are they doing thereY"
They're at war;"
you don't mean to tell me that
there's war going on down in those
peaceful meadows and slopesT'
At that moment came the roar of n
hundred guns from a segment of the
line not mile long.
whats that" asked Stone.
Cannon. you fool"
Stone didn't hear. A light breeze
was setting westward. A brown
cloud arose and drifted with 1t.
whats that?"
"Asphyxiating gas"
"What's 1t for?''
There are millions of French sol
diers down there. That gas is intended
to poison them so they can't fight.
Wait minute and you'n see charge"
BY this time there wassso much noise
that 1t was useless to ask any more
questions, and the Yankee simply gap
ed. He heard the charge and saw
some Of 1t, but the foes were so near
together that it seemed to him like
gigantic football game wherein the
two teams were deadlocked. and when
ever they moved they left heaps of
men lying still. Gradually the din
died down. and the Yankee found It
possible TO make himself heard again.
See here!" he said. did those SOL
diers get vomited out of the bowels
of the earth?"
They came out of the trenches"
Trenches! What are they?"
Don't you know anything about
WARP
Yes. my father was in the great
war between the states in America.
I've heard lot about war from him.
But that was war of men. not Of
rabbits. He was in the battle of Get
tysburg. the biggest of the war. There
were a couple of hundred thousand
men engaged. The line must have
been several miles long"
"Oh, give US rest about your Amer
lean battles! There are three or four
millions of men in that line and It is
200 miles long"
"Whewr
A flock Of aeropanes was seen in
the distance. The general and his
staff manifested some trepidation and
the hill rearward to seek
cover