davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

/ was about 102 years ole. He had
cot cold or something which &C
counted for his failure 10 life until
rip ole age Ninety nine yeers or
therrabouts of the feller's live had
been spent in tendin a rale rode
crossin. Well accordin 10 the vice
presents version, prayers had been
SADIE and the poor Teller was given
up for lost. His eyes were closed
and his breth had became fainter
A wistle was heerd in the distance.
There goes the 10.4S", the vice
present SEE he sed when he heerd
the wistle. OF coarse every one in
s. bend noes Badly France who goes
to school sumwhere along the miz-
Zouri River altho hes as bald as a
bat Jake seq 1 time he an Gus. the
barber fixt up a wig maid out from
the insides OF a matres. and sent 1t
TO Badly, with the prescription on ii,
Adjust 10 suit yourself 1t is a
candid opinion OF ourn that the
price Of work in Jake's shop wood
take a decided leep upward immedi-
ately If Jake didn't have such a good
time with his cusstumers. Wen
venshure TO say in fact that lots of
time Jake has such a good time that
he even fergets to charge them.
Frank Dunnahoo tole US story on
Jake the other day that we wood be
glad to tell 10 a limited no. Of his
friends, who wood care to arrange
for a special sitting. We wood be
deited TO tell this story any evenin
at some suitable lokation at so
NANNY words per pint.
A critic writes asking US TO let up
on the present day fashions. Would
he rob us Of our bread and butter?
A head owe. a movie show write
up is. "A New Way to Make People
Miserable" Very good, Eddie.
Pupils at the Freeport, H.. high
school are being taught TO read gas
and electric meters. This possibly
could be placed on the head Pre-
paredness"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
MAY t3, 1910.
NEW SORT OF SEA SERPENT.

On the arrival Of British liner New York the
other day. it announced that two German subma-
rines had been sea. 200 miles Bor-
deaux Interest added to the story by the state
ment that the submarines headed this way Evil
IDENTIFY they U-boats Of a and powerful type
capable OF making the transatlantic passage Their
purpose, it was assumed. 70 cross the and
prey munition ships sailing from American ports
And in case Of between Germany and the United
States those fearsome craft would be hand at
tack the American or perhaps they would start
ndiscriminate campaign of frightfulness against
American shipping.
It developed that those submarines were mere
products Of excited imaginatou Now that the thing
is started. however. there will be end Sea
serpents have gone of style lately here is
good substitute We may expect hear every or
two during the spring and summer that U-boats have
been headed for the United off
coast. Bathers at Coney Island Revere beach
and Atlantic city them with much
frequency they used to crested in the
ofing.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

that broke the shacKles OF slavery
might not have been disclosed, If
as a young man he hadn't developed
heart. if he had been helpful and
earnest, there might have been no
such broad charity. no such senti-
ments OF universal brotherhood, as
characterized his official life
We can't all be truly great. but
we need not be gnats. We can't all
be intellectual and industrial and
humanitarian giants. but We need
not be toads. For each there is
something TO do.
A worthy civic movement? Shall
we stand back? A manifest evil?
Shall we shift 10 others the respOn-
sibility OF attempting to eradicate
it? A hypocrite TO expose? Shall
we sneak like towards into the
corner and leave it TO others TO tear
off the mask? A heart sad? Shall
we cut across lots to avoid speaking
a word of comfort? An acquaint-
ance depressed? Shall we deny the
hand of encouragement because it
may disturb or inconvenience us?
An erring sister? Shall we cast
another stone? A misunderstood
brother? Shall we further mis-
judge?
Life is full of possibilities OF help
fulness TO communities and 10 in
dividuals-and so few To help; It
is because too many people refuse to
do their share-small though it be.
Are you doing your share?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
NOT THE SOFT ANSWER.

related that a pious Welsh lady, watching an
officer drilling a recruits. reprimanded him
cuttingy for his language to his men,
Removing hat courteOusly the wretch replied:
Damn your eyes madam. Mind your own business"
War isn't Sunday school picnic and womans part
in it might we'll confined sewing shirts Sister
Susie does. If they must, and will, rub elbows
with war even edges. the of Europe
should expect to shocked. With of thousands
of men, dying every day at front the drill
of the recruits and in fact themselves
not going to strain a few we'll intended cuss words if
helps acquire proficiency which might save
the only scalp they have. And who ever heard OF
breaking in a rookie without swearing a little. The
good women Of England had better be praying for
their officers. rather than engaged in reprimanding
them over tribes. They need a lot OF prayers.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
STATESMEN GREAT AND
NEAR-6REAT
BY Fred Kelly.

WASHINGTON. May 12.-Thfs
may help 20 answer the question:
why do men go to congress-"
When John W. Weeks. became a
United States senator from Massa-
chusetts, his successor in the lower
house was a handsome, romantic
looking raven-headed young man
named John ]. Mitchell. In making
his race for the job. Mitchell had as
campaign manager a smart young
newspaper man on one of the Bos-
ton papers. He was elected by a
good majority. At the last congress
sional election, Mitchell was up for
a second term. Now, as a rule it is
easier to obtain a second term than a
first one Mitchell-and not with
out some little logic on his side
that he had surmounted his major
difficulty when he made his initial
splash Making unto himself a sec
ond term looked like a mere matter
of routine. And so he told the
bright young newspaperman that
while he appreciated all he had done
and everything. he would not need
his services again.
Now. nobody likes 10 be left en-
tirely out Of the picture. to be re-
garded as a disutility. The young
campaign manager, while he liked
Mitchell and thought ne was a first
rate congressman, earnestly desired,
for the purpose of confirming ideas
he held of his own usefulness, to see
Mitchell have none too easy time.
He held subterranean thoughts and
looked about for an obstacle 10 place
in Mitchells path.
The obstacle that he finally select
ed was a wealthy manufacturer. one
w. H. Carter. whose name is IA
miliar TO all who make practice
Of reading underwear advertisement.
Carter qualified to run against
Mitchell.
/ young manager, Il run only on con-
dition that you are sure there is no
chance of my election. have nc
time to go 20 congress"
Don't worry about that" soothed
the campaign manager. Well have
/ a lot of fun out Of it anyhow"
AS the campaign advanced, Garter
| became not a little agitated. Sup
pose-just suppose" he hoarsely
whispered one day TO his chief ad-
wiser, that 1 might be elected"
He mightn't have been elected
perhaps, except for one thing. An
/ opposition speaker declared one day
I or rather one night, that Carter was
/ not close enough to the people. The
remark rather nettled Carter and he
! came back with this retort:
Not close TO the people. Ell.
/ Why 7 make their underwear"
The retort was not only good
advertisements for his business. but
went well politically. To Carriers
/ extreme vexation-so he insisted-he
was elected.
And. so here he is.
FREDERICK Pezet, minister 10 the
United States from Peru, was fol
many years a soldier OF fortune
lust the kind OF adventurer one
might expect TO find IL a S1.20 move
with a cover in three colOrs- Be
sides that, Pezet had. and has, q
sense OF humor. once he found il
desirable q boar boat just pulling
out from q Colombian port, where
there had been a great deal going
I on.
And where are You going ." one
OF Pezet's fellow passengers inquired
/ politely. after they were out 10 sea
I'm not going anywhere. replied
Pezet. I'm simply coming away"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
ENCOURAGING THE BANDITS.

When band of Mexicans broke the border
again. killing and piaging in Texas. Gen. Funston
announced that ne couldn't send any soldiers
after the raiders. because he hadn't any And
the house OF representatives simultaneously voted
to increase the army than 40 per That
frank invitation 10 the Mexcans to keep on murder
ing and footing. The border stop when our
half-civilzed neighbors convincing military evil
dence that Uncle business.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
THE MELTING POT
FILLED BY THE EDITORIAL STAFF
WORST OF ALL

WORST OF ALL
We have seen nuts without a ST.
moleon.
Who insisted they were the Ma
poleon;
We have seen some Kings Of Fl
nance
Seer others try that Butterfly dance
But the giDk that takes the prize
Is the one who always, always de-
MES
That he is the king of all the bugs
But admits he gets fun out OF beat
ing rugs.
Now, my dear. l am right. You
see I knew what / was talking
about"
As Bill Shakespeare Cor was II
Bacon?) once said, It's not what
you say. but how you say it."
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
FAST WORK.

COLUMBIA, Pa. - Especially -
Benjamin Timer went to market
and purchased eggs from farmer.
He took them home. placed them
under hen, and was surprised four
days later TO find three freshly
Matched peeps.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
LIGHT FICTION.

And so reasonably priced.
would have written sooner.
l. o. Il.
Send me So, 1 need il.
Eo-Weight soft hats.
If Roosevelt were president
We'd all be bearing arms,
And the ladies the land
Would be out tilling farms.
Speaking Of Villa:
He who dies and runs away
Will live TO die another day.
The market yesterday was quiet
but firm. Sort Of a fond father atti-
tude OF mind.
May the 18th and no war.
How slow things move.
We're satisfied.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
THE LIFE OF JAKE HECK ANIAN
(hapfPr %

The other day Mister Jake F. T.
A. Heckaman tole a story that vice
present T. Riley Marshal tole when
he was hear in S. bend not long
ago. Mister Marshal, the rite onor-
able vice present of these hear u
Knighted states was in Jake's chare.
He said the father OF gent Jake
new was on his dethbed. The Teller
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
HIGH FINANCE.

A man walked into a restaurant
where a lunch was served for %
cents This included soup and a
choice Of certain meats. The man
ordered the meat but said he didn't
care for the soup The waiter exc
cuted his order and brought in a
check for 80 cents.
What is the 30 cents for?" the
man asked.
Well, said the waiter. you
didn't take the soup"
New Hitch in Mexico Parleys
perhaps means Uncle Sam is simply
drawing his belt up a notch tighter.
It's not what you put on or what
you leave off,
But little microbe that gives you
that cough.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13
FAMOUS DOUBLES

- Wedding
- Play.
Header.
T. r. and Taft.
Half and Half.
AdOlph and Rudolph.
Weber and Fields.
Ham and.
%
A Miss Elk at Chicago is going to
get married. Now she will be Miss
Ex-Ex
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

Opposing counsel in the senate committees hearing
Brandeis nomination. 1t is spectacle And may
yet they'll Louis guilty of being the lawyer Of
the people"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

observe closely that that Seattle posed sue
cessfully for 20 years, until the police
rested her lazy husband There's a moral
fellers deep one
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

ONLY ASSOCIATED PRESS MORNING FRANCHISE
NORTHERN INDIANA AND ONLY PAPER EN-
SOUTH BENDNo other I'm the state protected
leased wirenght and daynews services; also only
agbteumn paper IN state outside Indianapolis
twice al sunday
Holidays Entered the South BEND postoniee second
ms
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

THE NEWS-TIMES PRINTING COMPANY
once: 20 w. colfax Az.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1916-05-13

Call the telephone above numbers ana ask
for department wantedE dtra Advertising Circuaton or
Accounting II
phone directory, BIN viii be mailed after insertion Report
nattentOu business bad execution. delivery OF
20
which dealing NeWsIimes thirteen
hne5 all Of which 70 Home Phone l51 and Bell ZOO
SUBSCRIPTION RATES. Morning and Evening Editions,
single Copy p; sunday s.; Morning Evening Edition
daily inciudinC sunday advance
Delivered Mishawaka, 800
year IN advance, 12c by the week
ADVERTISING RATES; Ask the advertising dePa rtment
Foreign Advertising Representatives: CONE, LORENLEN
WOODMAN. Fifth Az. York CITY and Adv. Bldg.
Chicago. The advertising
columns
defrauded through patronage Of advertisement In this
viii confer favor the by reporting
the facts completely.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
NO FORTUNE IN GOVERNMENT
JOBS

In the August American Magazine
James Hay, Jr., says that government
jobs in Washington have no future
and yet thousands of persons want
them.
lone day near the close of this ses-
sion of Congress-" he says, 81 asked
thirty members of the House of Rep
resentatives how many applications
they had received that day, either per-
sonally or by letter or telegram, for
government jobs. Each Of these rep
resentatives, purposely picked to cover
all sections OF the country, had on his
desk from two to twenty-one requests
for federal employment. The average
was five
"A twelve hundred dollar man.
whose family consists of his wife, his
fifteen-year-old daughter and himself,
told me this:
81 don't mind confiding to you that
we are able to have a roast of beef in
our partment only once year. ]
haven't been to a theater for five
years. Nor has my wife. We can't at
ford to go to moving pictures more
than once or twice month-and
sometimes, when bills are piling up,
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22

Since the City of Maysville produces
$7,26O.0O, l think 1t is only fair and
justice to the Maysville taxpayers, that
this money should be applied to the
$40 miles of main line turnpikes.
which is comprised, as follows:
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22

affairs over to sOme-One-else, as Is
months more of the present manage
ment, will certainly put us in condl-
ton that many years to come would
not bring us back to where we should
be.
This closes my arguments in the
case of the Mason County Turpikes.
II is now up to the taxpayers of Mason
county to act, as the facts l have
stated are absolutely true and have
never been contradicted, and the pres
ent management stands guilty of every
accusation l have made by the silence
they have maintained.
w. HOLTON KEY.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
SKIRTS

Modest persons who have been hold
ing their breath may now let 1t out
again. They have received the maxi
mum shock. The momentous question
whether skirt borders were to follow
demurely after shoe tops receding
ankleward or were to go still higher,
on the rebound, as it were, has been
answered. Skirts age to be longer.
Paris has said it, and when Paris says
so the thing is as good as done. But
even Paris does not promise that the
frightening will be sufficient to re-
store to present application Sir John
Stockings lines:
Her Feet beneath her petticoat
Like little mice stole in and out,
AS If they feared the light.
There will be no low visibility about
feet. They will be perfectly frank and
apparent. Also ankles, for skirt
hens will be from FIVE to six inches
from the ground, according to this
falls models. 1t Is explained that
while the new skirts are not really
narrow, they are Strengthened, and
therefore must be longer in order to
give good lines" The panier effects
fullness about the hips is to be shifted
to the shoulders. although we are as
sured that We are safe from anything
approaching the old leg-of-mutton
sleeves.
In other words, the dressmakers'
bulletins assure us that skirts are to
be sensible In fullness and length, not
so short as to make the wearers ap-
pear ungainly. nor yet so long as to
compete with the street cleaners
brooms. Just why skirts should be
longer for winters slush and mud
than for summer draught is zone Of
the things no fellow can find out" but
then it's none Of his business. any
way. OF course, dresses will cost
MORE" and very appropriately, as hus-
bands and fathers will agree. "somber
colors will be worm"
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
RAILROAD Time TABLES
f![Z]Ea'r!asssaa


No. IL departs 5:S5 a. M, daily ex.
cept Sunday.
No. 9 departs 100 D. Ill.,, daily ex-
cept Sunday.
No, 10 departs $40 D. m. daily.
No. 10 arrives $50 a. IN, daily ex-
cept Sunday.
No. 13 arrives 2;O5 D. m. daily.
No. IL arrives $3.50 p. M, daily ex-
cept Sunday.
No. 1s arrives 1880 a. m. daily ex-
cept Sunday.
No. II departs 1850 a. m, daily ex-
cept Sunday
Sunday Only
No. III departs at a. m.
No. 11S arrives at 1925 D. m.
Schedule effective SundL. May %,
subject to change without notice.
H. s. ELLIS, Agent.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
HOT WEATHER-BE CAREFUL

The dog-days at their worst, the
days when cen the very Hottentot
one sees grow hot and totter," are
here. General Humidity's drive on the
trenches of human resistance makes
US almost forget Joffre and Won Hin
denburg. There's a hot time in the
old town, every night, but little sing
ing, save what the mosquitoes do. The
Big Stick of perspiration is ever pres
ent. The stout man wonders II he
couldn't capitalize himself as a glue
facory and water stock. The thin man
suffers as much or more, but he gets
precious little sympathy by COMPARE
son. He is, willy-nilly, a philosopher
We got such days last year, the
year before, the year before that. We
shall get them next year and the years
to come. They belong to our climate
But a wise Frenchman said: "Philos.
ophy triumphs easily over past evils
and future evils, but present evils
triumph over it," What we are sur
fering now seems always "the worst
ever"
Forget the mercury, if you can. Keep
your mind busy with something else.
II possible. Yet forget not the little
physical precautions always worth
while. Eat little meat, and only mod
erately OF other things. Drink cold
water, not Ice water. Keep clean at
whatever profit to the laundryman. A
dip In cold water before sleeping, an
other on arising, will help. Never run,
never permit yourself to be hurried
Remember that. to quote David Harum
you have all the time there is" But
let elaboration promote efficiency, and
don't dodge work. After all, 1t is the
best friend you have. even in the Au-
gust period of mortal mugginess and
thermometrical misery.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
AN ACT OF KINDNESS
"A Maysville Resident Speaks Publicly
for the Benefit Of MaysvllIe
People.

II you had suffered tortures from
kidney trouble.
Had experienced with different rem
edies without relief;
II you we're finally cured through q
friends suggestion
Wouldn't you be grateful?
The following statement has been
given under Just such circumstances
Mr.. Gallenstein has used Doan's Kid
ney Pills.
He publicly tells Of the benefit he
has received.
His simple act of kindness to other
Maysville sufferers.
No need to experiment with such
convincing evidence at hand.
MIR. Gallenstein speaks from expert
ence.
You can rely on what he tells you.
Henry Gallenstein, blacksmith, Pop
lar st., Maysville, says: "Doan's Kid
ney Pills are the best of kidney medi-
cines. l have used different kinds
and no other has ever equalled this
one. When my kidneys were out of
order and had pain in my back, /
used Doan's Kidney Pills. They stop
ped the pains and strengthened my
kidneys. The cure has been perma-
nent."
Price Soc, at all dealers Don't
simply ask for a kidney remedy-get
Doan's Kidney Pills--the same that
Mr.. Gallenstein had. Foster-M ilburn
Co., Props, Buffalo, N. Y.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
Catarrh Oannoi Ra Cnred

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they
cannot reach the seat of the disease.
Catarrh is blood or constitutional
disease, and In order TO cure II you
must take internal remedies. Halls
Catarrh Cure is taken internally. and
acts directly upon the blood and mu-
cous surface. Halls Catarrh Cure 10
not a Quack medicine. II was pre-
scrlbed by one OF the best physicians
In this country for years and Is a regu-
lar prescription. II Is composed OF
the best tones known. combined with
the best blood purifiers, acting directly
on the mucous surfaces. The perfect
combination OF the two ingredients Is
what produces such wonderful results
In curing catarrh. Send for testimons
ials. free.
y. ]. CHIMNEY a CO. Props. Toledo. o.
Sold BY Druggists, price 56e.
Take Halls Family Pills Tor consil
patton.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
THE PROOF OF THE PUDDING il
In THE EATING.

What the sick want is to get we'll
They do not care whether they are
cured by the most scientific physi-
clan or the most unlearned neighbor
they don't care how they are cured,
II they only get we'll.
For forty years women suffering
from female ills have been taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and have been geeting we'll;
and because they have got well, that
great medicine continues to have a
sale equalled by that of few propri-
etary medicines.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22

Why not try Ledger Want AID?
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
A SYSTEM FOR HANDLING
OUR TURNPIKE BUSINESS

Having made a personal inspection
of practically all the roads in Mason
County and measuring same at the
same time, and having criticised our
present system, 1t is but fair that
should offer a remedy for our condi-
tons
Mason County in the year, 1916, has
an assessment of s12,927, 10000, which
produces from the turnpike levy of
25c, $32,S1S.OO, from this should be
deducted an overhead expense. COM
prlsed, as follows:
Commission to Sheriff for
collecting ..............$1 $500
Interest on Bonds and bor-
rowed money ............ 3,4SO.OO
Superintendents salary ... 100000
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22

Or total overhead of. $6,665.00
After deducting the overhead from
the total fund, there is a balance of
$25, 6530O, to be applied to the system
of 1858 miles of pike.
We occasionally have a cloud burst
in some part of the county, or have
an accident to some large bridge, and
| consider 1t is fair to deduct 1919 Of
the net road fund for an Emergency
Fund, which, in this case, amounts to
$2,565.OO, which leaves s23,0SS.OO.
The City of Maysville produces of
the above fund, $4,000, which deduct
ed from $23,OSS.OO leaves a balance of
SIS, $500, to be distributed in the 16
Precincts OF Mason County, in proper
ton, as it is produced in said Pre-
cincts.
| hand you below, statement,
showing the mileage in said Precincts,
as well as the road fund to be dis
tributed:
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22
Chesapeake & Ohio Ry,
Schedule subject to chsnss without notice

Schedule effective May 2Sth.
EAST BOUND
No. 8. 9:41 a. m.
No. 6. 1855 a. m.
No. 2 lao p. m.
No. 16. $3.50 p. m.
No. Is. 500 p. n.
No. 4. 10:4S p. m.
WEST BOUND
No. 10. $50 a. m.
No. s. 6:15 a. m.
No. 1. 9:19 q. m.
No. II. $3.50 q. m.
No. 8, $3.50 p. m.
No. z. 1888 p. m.
" W. wIKoFF. Agent.
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22

This makes $4,000 for each mile of
the above main line pixies. from Mays
vile alone. By grouping the mileage
of the respective pike in each precinct,
through which they go and applying
the fund, per mile, derived from that
precinct. we arrive at the amounts
to be applied to each turnpike In Ma
son county, as follows:
The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-08-22

Though the public eye may be 70
cused upon Mexico. the political cam
paign will furnish some choice sparks
nevertheless.