The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1916-10-05
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
~OOO~
Pitiless Publicity.

| whats TO come to 'PitileSS Publicity.
Meself could tell him. Where's pitt
less Publlcity"P says Hughes. In the
Ash Can says l. Twas all right on
the stump. but In Washinton tbs
differ. The Harp that wanst through
TrentOns halls'-I name Tumulty.
Whin he bursts into song now he picks
his chunel
IT'S not that Prisidint Wilson Is
less public than Candydate Wilson
He's less pitiless. 'Tls like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
tn illyfant, but he has mintal res'va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 1t is wild Wilson. He's sofned
the hard heart iv 'Pltiless Publicity
How about the PostmastersT axes
the refawrumers. Wen niver tell We,
the League. 'Twid embar'ss tn Ad-
ministhrashun.' says the C'mlshun.
And the people laughs. Ye fired tn
Hid Nv the Cinsus.' says Hughes. 'Ye
lie,' says Redfeld. He raysined wild
out bein' axed,' says he. 'Ye lie yer
oCll0 ouyS Lui LC lONih yC
fire me, an We gev me place to a
Politician says Durand. Txac'ly fwhat
| said,' yells Pink Whlskers. i was
goin' TO fire We anyway. but / niver
axed ye to raysine.' says Pinky. An
the people roars.
"'Tell us about all thin Dlshurvin'
Dimmycrats.' says the people. An
Washin'ton is sweep be storm Nv
silence.
But doan't We think there's no pub
llcity at all. Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers. but he cud
be quiet, too.
"'We1l grab some land in Vinzu-
eely,' says the Ambassydure.
'tem'prily,' says he. Yen not says
Teddy, ven agree to arbitrate,' says
he, or he says, lin tin days Dewey'n
be there says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
STINT says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, III sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. we
agree says he,-an' divil bit did we
know how it was for dozen year.
wen have Ferdy Carey alive, or
the Bashi BazoOk dead, says Teddy,
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says 'On demand Nv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
"How is 1t now? The greasers
slaughtered twlnty at Sanity Isabel. AN
other Mexican Crisis says the head
lines, 'Twinty Americans killed. they
says. The Prisidint Calm says they.
'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays Goluf,'
says the headlines. An the paper
goes on:
1.-The Prisidlnts appytite at break
fast was good, tn leader Nv the ma
shun gettin' outside iv' grape fruit,
bacon an eggs, hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin Docther Grayson announced the
bill Nv fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
1.-The Prisdint is solvln' In privacy
the fateful question, evil me throat
last?" The answer is waited wild few
erish anxiety
"Mondah, the papers says 'Nashun-
al Disaster? Sore Throat Feared Pan
ic at the Capital. The Prisidint Calm
Consideration was spread among
all classes today be the report that
the Prisidint awoke with a sore throat
Strong men tainted before they cud
reach the nearest saloon. There is
talk iv appintin "A day iv prayer. 1t
is hoped that Senior Are ye-On-though
will claim that the dead Americans
raysisted ixicushun. A high authority
states that this wud end the crisis.
The Prisidint made but wan remark /:
"Av they'd not been there they'd not
lv been kilt"
"Choosdah, they says, Hope revives.
No sore throat. Bitten by insect.
Prisidint calm. All Phrases Nv Mat
Their to be considered.
1.-The anxiety in the Capital was re-
laved today be the followin bulletin |:
lathe Prisidint has a slight per-
foratlon in the cuticle over the infery-
ure maximary caused by insect bitin'
him whin asleep. The patient was too
proud to scratch. (Signed Grayson."
ut is reported also that Gineral
Scott will go to the border to bury the
dead, and apologize to the insurgents.
He will axe Carranzy, whether he wud
accept a loan IL offered. This is con-
sidered the thrue sutton iv the diff
Guilty
"Winsdah the Prisidlnt goes motor
in, Thursdah he writes q note and
Glneral Scott starts for the border.
Fridah the headlines says Peace in
Europe near. Prisidint studyin' terms.
VIII he stop the war? Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
But we're comforted be bein' towld
the Prisidint will not be betrayed
into hasty ackshun.
"Sundah, he's considerin' tn Ar
menyan question, an Mondah he adj
vises Grandmothers about suckin'
eggs. And another crisis is past.
$50 II goes ivry day. AS ! was say
in, there's a'plenty publicity. but It's
not the brand iv 1912"