Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1916-08-04
LEFT IN A HURRY
BILL NYE TELLS HOW HE SAVED
HIS GOOD NAME.
AS an Honest, Unsophisticated Youth,
Humorist Was the Victim of
Heartless Trick Practiced by
His Employer.

Rows should never be afraid or
ashamed to do little odd jobs by which
to acquire money. Too many boys
are afraid, or at least seem to be en-
barrassed when asked to do chores,
and thus earn small sums OF money.
In order to appreciate wealth we must
earn it ourselves. That is the reason
I labor. l do not need to labor. My
parents are still living, and they GER
tainly would not see me suffer for the
necessities of life. But life in that
way would not have the keen relish
that 1t would if l earned the money
myself.
Saving wood used to be a favorite
pastime with boys twenty years ago.
I remember the first money l ever
earned was by saving wood. My
brother and myself were to received
S. for saving five cords Of wood. We
allowed the job to stand, however, I'M
til the weather got quite warm, and
then we decided to hire foreigner
who came along that way one glorious
summer day when all nature seemed
tickled and we knew that the fish
would be apt to bite. So we hired the
foreigner, and while he sawed, we
would bet with him on various dead
sure things" until he got the wood
sawed, when he went away owing us
80 cents. =
We had a neighbor who was very
wealthy. He noticed that we boys
earned our own spending money, and
he yearned to have his son try to dit
to. So he told the boy that he was
going away for few weeks and that
he would give him 81 a cord, or dou-
BILE price, to saw the wood. He wanted
to teach the boy to earn and appre-
ciate his money. So, when the old
man went away, the boy secured
colored man to do the job at 81 per
cord, by which process the youth
made $40. This he judiciously invest
ed in clothes, meeting his father at
the train in a new summer suit and
a speckled cane. The old man said he
could see by the sparkle in the boys
clear, honest eyes that healthful exer-
else was what boys needed.
When I was boy / frequently &C.
quired large sums of money by carry
ing coal up two flights Of stairs for
wealthy people who were too fat to do
it themselves. This money I invested
from time to time in side shows and
other geological attractions.
One day I saw coal cart back up
and unload itself on the walk in such
a way as to indicate that the coal
would have to be manually elevated
inside the building. / waited till l
nearly froze to death for the owner to
come along and solicit my aid. Final
ly he came. He smelled strong of car
bolic acid, and I afterward learned
that he was physician and surgeon.
We haggled over the price for some
time, as l had to carry the coal up
two flights in an old waste-paper
basket and it was quite task. Final
ly we agreed. I proceeded with the
work. About dusk went up the last
flight Of stairs with the last load. MY
feet seemed to weigh about 10 pounds
apiece and my face was very somber.
In the cleaning saw my employer.
He was writing a prescription by the
dim, uncertain light. He told me TO
put the last basketful in the little clos
ct off the hall and then come and get
my pay. took the coal into the closet,
but do not know what I did with 1t.
AS I opened the door and stepped IN,
tall skeleton got down off the nail
and embraced me like prodigal son.
It fell on my neck and draped itself
all over me. It's glittering phalanges
entered the bosom Of my Bingham
shirt and rested lightly on the pit OF
my stomach. I could feel the pelvis
bone in the small Of my back. The
room was dark, but l did not light
the gas. Whether it was the skeleton
of a lady or gentleman never knew;
but thought, for the sake of my good
name, would not remain. My good
name and a strong yearning for home
were all that I had at that time.
So I went home. Afterward, l
learned that this physician got all his
coal carried upstairs for nothing this
way, and he had tried to get rooms
two flights further up in the building,
so that the boys would have further
to fall when they made their egress.
From "Bill Nye's Red Book"