Mountain advocate., 1916-10-13
FlNNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
3 Pursing the Heart. d


Which iy irrm AiI iy them. lie
smitcs thr civil Service Rock aud re-.
freshin' iuns ru.Ics foorlh for thursty
but dishur,u Dimycmts. lie blows
ON horn an iNrytlIiu falls FOR ut.
If the people call him liver So soft. Lit.
tie Samuel lrld Hp quicker ear An for
sacrylicin' what's dear To his heart.
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he Is Dmrcricys shield an cxcecdin'
great reward
"T1s Ills Presbyterian brinSin' up.
I'm thinkin EurSt he adopts policy;
thin he thirs Ia Justify 1t, thin he
snnctiilrs II wild Il phrase, while q choir
~ ncshurvin Dimmycrats sings
hymn. An there We are. Justification.
Adoption an Sankty- iicashun.
"The choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith. George Harvey an Billy
Brine was all I'm ut But wan he wan
their Vices cracked an they passed out
" the life Nv the great ldaylist.
Harvey wint back tn cditn' an Bill
Brine wint In search iy the Howly
Kalc. McComhs was canned, because
him an Billy McAduu cuddCnt sing q
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff Ia.timr i,ut Wudthrow die
Grated them MI Wild rwhat say ye?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross.
Ohio. mind well the time at the
Manhattan club. wlIin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what WudthrOw
calls the vital stulrs iv life. Stone an
McAdoo: DanyiclS an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Rcdliold for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs Nv praise,
an Col. House winds the Nicthrola.
"Wudthrow is fond iv music. but
Colonel House himself Is the quiet
man. Faith nv he danced a Clog on
n Washbiler yc'd niver hear n sound.
"Wcll, wan night in August the Colo
mel come tiptocin' in through the base
mcnt durc.
"'IIow's the game. Colonel?' says
Wudthrow. 'So.So.' the Colonel says.
'Yc might round up few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an alb
sent air.
"'Aint | got the full dinner-pail'sT
axes Wudthrow. anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and n
half says House pleasantly. Amt
KEEP EN- out q WARP axes Wudthrow.
Part u the time says House, rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. Amt my voice our
greatest liquid asset axes Wilson
earnestly. Its some voice, says
| House. but lot iv suckers can't tell
I asset firm an li'bility,' the Colonel
says.
"'F'what are ye drivin' at? says
wilson, forr flushing little.
"'Arrc We watohu' the strikc: says
| House. Half II millyun votes might
| he useful says House. tiptOein' out
| through the dur". an closin' ut behind
| him.
"Well. Sir, he left Wrdthrow sunk
| in profound midilashuu. At last he
spakes. L hear lie says. in low
| sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is to me as the vice of Car
negie PcnshUn. Oh he says. thrillln'
| in ivry nerve, must ! indadc sacryfice
wan more iinl.' says he. 'on the altar
~ Inc Country" says Wudthrow.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; IAN the Sugar Tax he says: AN
the Tariff for Rcv-uoo.'. Inc says; AN
all me friends. beside says he, six
teen pcr'ny good Mexican Policies
was not all thin cuUughE' he axes In
J agony But will purge me Heart "
ivry pers'nal fought says he, startin'
| To-, bed. An before he rCtires he takes
n Heart Purge iv his own invinshun
the way it'll wurk while he sleeps. !
dnnaw f'what the purge is. IT'S
secret,
In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted Gr-rcat sacryilse Of pur-
rinciplc. dear 20 his heart, but he'd
used most iy thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
Or slightly dHmG.cd sacryfises. So
he sends ruf House Colonel says
he, "F'what pur-rinciplc d'yr think
wud bo an II .ccptable sacryfise In this
great morcl imargincyi" he axes anx.
iously
"'Whlsper,' says The Colonel. And he
said wan wurd in Wudthrow's car, and
faded silently away through the dure.
For wan instant Wudthrow stud
| spellbCund. Thin he burst into
| whoop: Tho Ram IN the Bushes cries
he wild tears IL ~.
"'Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryliSo was sOlemny .ised
at the Capitol.
"Thc profession started fOm the
White House wild the Prisidint walkin'
ahead carryin' The Ram in wan hand
an box " Snfety-Flrst matches In
tn other. lie was followed by coon
bearin' -four gold pans, ana behind
came four Union Chiefs ridin' on milk
white stceds followed be group "
Railroad Prisidlrtr, Stock Holders,
Farmers, shippers and Consumers,
loaded Wild chains. After short ser.
mon to Congress on Purgln' the
Heart the Prisidint laid the Ram on
TN altcr an imDriSsiVply stabbed n