The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-10-14
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
~
On the Merry-Go-Round.

Faith an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
it, for it was agin the constyehooshun.
Now that he is for 1t, that immortal
Instrument has also changed Its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
"But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, The Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some ~ thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're a good man,
but We make me dizzy says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
MIN for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
THROWN hin a Cocked-Hat " the vim
tage of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL says Garri-
son. How does it suit?' he axes,
"'Fine.' says Wudthrow, 'barrin' a
few changes Yell redraw It, he
says, to provide says he, 'volun-
tary universal service in a Federal
Milishy,' says he, controlled be the
states says he; AN recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. 1T
shud be nayther too large nor too
SMALL says he; or maybe both,' he
says; AN the ammynition,' says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore l decide the daytales, for it's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me off,
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
~ Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye.' says Wudthrow. I've a near-real
raygrit at losin' you,' he says. And as
Garrison beats it to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays a side step.
"'F'what iv the NavyT says Kitchin.
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, lex
cept in Montany, where We need no
Navy says he, and In st. Louey,
where it shud be the biggest In the
world. Well be none e~xthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, so
ncIc , Tic hlIuJOldI III Yen pass,
says he.
"'But this same Is the Raypubli-
cans bill, says Kitchin starin'. Yell
go an pass It, say Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
1 dream says Kitchin. IF I liver
drank, I'd t'ink I was boozed,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off.
"'How about the Army billT' axes
Hay.
"'Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
eye.
at have here a bill,' says Hay, pro-
vidin' for an increase iv five hundther
men a year for twinty year. he says;
AN amynishun for six hours ackshun,'
he says, twill make us safe from
Madagascar, measles, muckrakin',
milit-rism and marital infidelity,' he
says, AN We'll catch Willy before he
dies av he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
embrace me- says Wilson. oh
Hay-afther all preparedness is a
matther iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a job? he axes, stoppin' short like.
"Divil a wan,' says Hay. 'Thin,'
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otto service in so bravely sipportin'
me policies he says, in all their
phrases he says, 4 make a judge ~
ye'he,' says he, as well as yer frind
that We put in the JOKER says the
Prisidint. 'Howly Saints says the
preparation S%initors.
"Ph'what does this mean at all
at allT they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the President, AN
We go all through me train iv thought
before We come to the pork car says
he. Are We on?' axe the Apostle iv
Common Counsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors, fall
ing off. An the Merry-G o-Round plays
a Wilson Waltz, (Which We know.
Jawn, is var step forward, two steps
back, hesitate an sidestep). An Tu-
multy goes out to spread the glad
tidin's that the preparation p'rade will
be led be the President In person.
allow does he save his face?" asked
Malumphy.
"Wid his mouth" responded Finne-
gan dryly.