The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1916-07-01
Evening Chat

LVClAAAS SA1oe
An especially good turnout Of the
members Of the CONTRIBUTORS
CLUB OF FAIHMoET, was cvidenc.
cd at the meeting last night which
was the second anniversary Of the
night the state went dry. For the
occasion refreshments were served
TO the thirsty CONTRIBUTORS for
The FIRST time since the inauguration
Of these weekly meetings. The result
was far better than had been sntici.
pated. Many members had feared
that the punch would be spiked with
q poor grade OF contraband ambrosin
and that some OF the CONTRIBu.
TORS might become lmbued with too
great enthusiasm. This was not the
case, however, and the following en-.
tract from the minute book showsIthat
the proper dignity was maintained:
PRO BONO PuBLICo: Gentlemen,
i wish TO propose q toast to our state.
So now with this beverage OF unknown
derivation let us drink 10 the health
and future prosperity OF our noun.
tain home. To West Virginia, where
the .mountaineers are always free
we love our native land with all her
faults and politicians. our citizens
with all their opinions and prejudices,,
we drink to West Virginia dry or West
Virginia wet, right or wrong but al
ways West Virginia.
Sound OF swallowing and much
fmacktng of lips from the assembl.
age).
PRoHIBITIoNIST: This Is indeed
q happy occasion. Two whole years
and here we SIT drinking q harmless
beverage and engaging in the noble
pursuit Of advising together as to a
policy OF the state and corporation
A wonderful thing is progress and
education.
ANONYMOUS: Why, you poor
boob! Do you think We could have
AL come out tonight to listen to such
twaddles II this beverage was OF the
kind you think It is?
CONSTANT READER: CAREFUL
Don't spill all you know at one mouth
ful. Why Is this PATRIOT? J
N4ga6hh yba WSh AWol Aopla WtCh
when the Guard was called?
PATRIOT: ! did. But they sent
me home. The medical examiner said.
had fat foot, spinal curvature, col
or blindness and constitutional
apathy. So he wouldn't let me be
asoldier. l am sure that II he had let
me go ] could have helped a lot in
Mexico. I had an uncle that visited
IN Texas for a couple OF months in
1900. He told me all about the coun.
Try and I have figured out Just what
should be done. You see It Is like
Ms, yilla-
INNOCENT BYsTANDER: I OBJ
3ect to hear what you think Of this
Mexican situation. i read Mayor Bow
ems ideas today and that is enough
tpr some time.
TRUE DEMOCRAT: What do you
uRnt to ridicule the Mayor for? Don't
IouS know that the proclamation he Is
ned the other day to the local guard
was really responsible to a great ex.
tent in inducing Carranza to return
those prisoners? They were return.
I'd Just two hours after Bowen insist.
ed his proclamation.
REPUBLICAN: Better not drink
any more OF that stuff, you. Next
thing you will see will be a purple
COW eating pink mint leaves beside
The primrose path. / must say, though,
that Bowen a proclamate as easily
IS PRESIDENT Wilson can Ultimate,
YOX POPULI: Lets drink another
toast. Here's to the suffragettes,
hey would rather raise an argument
han a family. more gurgles and
tnacked llips).
QUIET OBSERVER: Ben Wilson
lays that Abe Lilly's former campaign
manager has forsaken Abe since his
Gefeats by Robinson and is now work.
hg for the suffragettes. i am be.
Winning to suspect that Harry is a bit
bf an opportunist.
NEUTRAL: Also a hoodoo; II he's
tor the women they have my sym.
Sathy.
TAX PAYER: l see the City offc.
ais have exposed their plan to foist
IN the people monster bond issue
md are trying to force It through be.
sause OF the condition OF the South
Dide bridge, Just as I predicted two
Months ago they would. Never will
tconsent to such a scheme to wiring
he last penny from the citizens by
his extortinate matchmaking PROPOSE.
Ion.
OLD CITIZEN: Blackmail is the
world 1t Is too bloody hot tonight
o talk about these things. Another
cast and lets adjourn. To the mem.
ny OF the night of June 80, 1914.
More happy gurgles and smacking
u flips).