davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

come my wife as the first step, and
after that-well, l guess you'll be able
to have all the grammar lessons you
want
The girl hesitated, and the fight
was won. She loved Lester, and at
twenty-four love seems the most pre-
ciOus thing in the world. Before they
parted at her door that evening she
had promised to marry him.
Even in the intoXication of his hap
piness the young man felt the difficulty
of making Il satisfactory explanation
to his parents.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

anesthetize our ears that they will
find anything musical"
Doctor Grayson did not suggest sur
gical treatment, but merely that the
education of children in proper articu-
lation be compulsory. He blamed in
difference and lack Of proper training
for the habit of slurring and clipping
and muddling our syllables, and urged
that no teachers be appointed who
have not clear voices and do not enun-
ciate distinctly. 81
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

iery. Real lace inserts of white will
always have to go with gowns upon
which much lace is used.
prices in silk stockings have in
creased 10 per cent, but they will be
worn by practically everyone, as they
have been now for some years. The
number of silk stockings worn prob
ably has trebled in the last five or six
years"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
DepIoreS american Voice."
Doctor Suggests a Remedy

DR.. Charles Provost Grayson of Phil
adelphia reproved American doctors at
the annual meeting of the Laryngolog-
ical, Neurological and Geological asso-
citation because they had done nothing
whatever to correct the american
voice." in which, he averred, mo
amount or depth of patriotism can so
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
ncome and Outoo.

How much do you suppose it costs
Gadspur to live?"
whats his income?"
"As Gadspur is the average type of
well-to-do citizen, l should say it costs
him between $500 and $4,000 a year
to live"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Purpose of the Menhaden.

The most numerous fish Of economic
Importance on the east coast Of the
United States is the menhaden, which
is known also by a large number of
other names, some of them inappropri-
ate and misleading. 1t is a member
of the herring family. goes In great
schools in the ocean, bays and sounds,
and supports a fishery from Maine to
Florida.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
A Trite Observation.

"You hear so many people say: This
war is a horrible thing that the ex-
preston becomes monotonous."
$50 it does. l saw a deaf-and-dumb
mar meet another deaf-and-dumb man
IN the street the other day and l won
dered If that was what he was saying
IN his fingers"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
A FEW JOKE
The Direct Method.

What is a strikebreaker?" asked
Mrs. Dubwaite, who was glancing over
the morning paper.
"A strikebreaker, my dear" an
swered Mr.. Dubwaite, sis a husky in
dividual who helps to settle economic
problems with his fists"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
IHeartless Man.

81 e said
Mrs. Fla t S o IN e
there's an agent
at the door selling
a device to keep
children from fall
ing downstairs"
"Well?" replied
Mr.. FlatstOne.
"He wants to
demonstrate it,"
"Tm willing If
you'll borrow the
b a across the,
hail."
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
GHded Homes.

q" understand Paris is going in for
municipal reform"
"Goodl If Paris can set q good ex-
ample as successfully as 1t sets most
of the fashions, the result will be won
derful."
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Not a Dry Speech.

Mrs. Flatbush-You say the dinner
was given in the open air?
Mr.. Flatbush-Yes, it was.
go off all right?
swell, it rained."
Really? 1t must have spoiled ev-
erything."
mo; it prevented the speakers from
being dry"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Genius Rebuffed.

IF you'll cut
some wood I'll give
you your break
fast"
Madam" re-
piled the tattered
w%anderer, during
my last term in
a prison W h
shall be nameless,
l was a celebrated
intramural poet.
I'll write you a
S o for my
breakfast"
mo, you won't
either. l might be
able to start a fire
with your sonnet,
but it wouldn't
keep a fire going"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Prehistoric MoIIycoddIe

whats ScribsOn so upset about?'
HE wrote a story in which the hero
was a cave man."
"Yes?"
"The artist who illustrated it gave
the cave man a shaggy coat of hair
and then finished him off with careful
ly manicured nails"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Division.

Willie-Why is a wife called her
husbands better half, dad?
Crabshaw-I suppose it's because
she isn't satisfied with splitting his sal
airy ffty-fifty.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

fins, the body being slightly bent,
while the head sometimes leans up
against the sides of the aquarium or
an aquatic plant. Respiration is
weak at these times. Sometimes it
slips on its back and remains in this
position absolutely motionless for
hours.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Its Paradoxical Quality

"There is one thing queer about
dry humor."
what is that?"
at generally whets ones desire for
more"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Animal Isles.

There is the Isle of Dogs and Whale
island, Pewit island, in Essex, and
Crane and Gulf islands, off the coast
of Cornwall. Near Lundy island are
Rat island and the Hen and Chickens.
A few off the coast of Wales are Putin
island, Sheep island and the Cow and
Calf island, in Pembroke.-London
Chronicle.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

When a man gets short of money
lots of his so-called friends get short
of sympathy.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

And n good turf is usually follow
ed by two bad ones-in a variety show.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
Wise and Otherwise.

If a man is a liar why does he get
mad if he's called one?
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

If the shoe fits it's a sure sign q
woman will ask for a smaller size.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

Some men are born great, some
achieve greatness, but the majority do
not seem to worry themselves very
much about II.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

Perhaps no mar appreciates a legacy
more than a man without legs.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

Even when a man knows a woman's
age she never thinks he thinks she
looks 1t.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

The man who tries to buy his way
into heaven may discover later that he
gave up money to an unauthorized rep
vesentative.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

Some men never give a thought to
the hereafter except when they have
occasion to pass a graveyard on a dark
night.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

ments-and her it may not be found
thereon.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

had gone with the intention Of never
returning to him.
His obstinacy aroused, he went back
to his parents arms. 1t was not long
before the insidious suggestions of
u divorce, coupled with the eager well
come extended by his friends. rs to
a man who had made Il fool of himself,
but had repented, worked upon Les
ter. He sued his wife for divorce on
the ground Of abandonment. The
case was not contested; Lester
thought Rae was ignorant OF it.
III.
Three years later Lester found him
self many times Il millionaire. His
parents were dead; he had succeeded
to his fathers stock exchange bust
ness, and was spoken of as one Of
the coming men of the Street.
II was just Mt this time that Madame
Cossi was announced with a flourish
of trumpets on the part Of her i'm
preSario as the greatest singer of the
age, now about to make her first pub
lie appearance in the metropolis. And
in this case the impresario was right.
The town ruyed over her. Never had
so talented un actress appeared since
Rachel. Never was there such n voice.
The papers estimated her princcly in
come as not far short of that of any
captain of industry. Her studio apart
mrnt on the avenue became the haunt
of celebrities.
Society took her up. Madame Cossi
was the lion-or lioness-of every
fashionable entertainment.
Beautiful, talented, and U~ndeniably
charming, Madame Cossi had the city
at her feet.
When first he saw her Autograph
upon the billboards Lester felt sure
that it vas his wife. He went to see
her in Carmen There before him.
tantalizing, elusive, was the woman
he had won only to lose, of his
own perverseneSS. Her acting thrilled
him.
Yes" he heard a %bald-headed cynic
his side say to his companion, she's
been in loye-helplessly. 1t takes
to bring out the acting quality in
a woman. After all, every woman is
potential actress
Lester remembered the words when
met her Unexpectedly at Mrs. Van
Iromp's reception. Without a shade
Of hesitation Rae put out her hand.
Il am pleased to meet you again,
Ronalds," she said.
She touched him to the heart. The
seemed made of stone. He
for an interview. For some
line she refused to grant one.
Il am at home to my friends at
on Saturdays" she said finally.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

A paragraph has been going the
rounds of the papers from one end Of
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07

The truth about some men is never
known until after they acquire monu-
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1916-10-07
HOW MUCH IS HUBBY WORTH TO YOU?
BY LAURA JEAN LIssEy.

There's ma luck about tn hoose.
There Is ma luck ava.
There is no luck about the hoose,
When our guide mans away.
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

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The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

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The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

~
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

49,
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

-
!, , l
-
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

Try { .
.. A.
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

TER nm fhP hIlC1
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

esiire
iirlllel
ing tC
oSOl
by la
aSlIr
RS X
if Il,
our n
rs q
oduc'
4 nnQl
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

J HIdI
thsp ssGv the
. be inp
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22
| h II

( !! oil
The Harrison times., 1916-01-22

oil OVCl
tha roOcf DIR
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
rhe colder Hemisphere.

DR.. George c. Simpson of the Indian
meteorological service at Sim1a, in In
dia, who asserted that the southern
hemisphere is much colder than the
northern, gives in the Scientific Amer
lean the reasons on which he bases his
opinion. The air is warmed not by the
rays of the sun, which simply pass
through it, but by the earth, which alb
serbs the rays. Now, in the northern
hemisphere there is much land to absorb
the energy of the sun and to give heat
to the air. In the southern hemisphere
there is much less land, and all the
land within the antarctic circle is per-
manently covered with ice, which forms
q virtually perfect reflector and which
sends back into space most of the solar
energy that falls upon it, Five mill
lion square miles of the earth's surface
in the southern hemisphere reflect into
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
IN THE PURE FOOD
MARKET
Exploiting Ice

u make piece of ice explode the
first step is to put on a plate lump of
clear ice about as large as your fist.
Then with a reading glass or the lens
Of magnifying glass focus the SUMS
rays so that the bright spot of light is
exactly in the center of the lump. In
a little time the ice will begin to melt
from the inside, and after a few mo-
ments a small cavity will appear. for
the ice, having expanded in freezing,
will not take up so much room when
melted The cavity, being entirely sur
rounded by ice, viii be a partial vac
uun, fled with a watery vapor of very
low pressure. When you have melted
a large cavity lay the glass aside and
let the ice melt IN the sun. Turn it
occasionally so that it Will be sure to
melt evenly round the cavity. After
awhile the cavity win be surrounded
by a thin shell of ice. Then, because
of the great pressure on the outside
about fifteen pounds. to the square
inch), the thin walls will suddenly
collapse. and the ice will fly In all di-
rections.-Youth's Companion.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
RED MEN REHEARSE {
FOR BIG MINSTRELS
Especial to The F,arrner..)


Stratford; March o-Rehearsa1s
are being made by the members of
Okenuck tribe of Red Men for the
minstrel show to be given by the tribe
sometime during May. The show
this year promises to, eclipse all that
have been presented by the organ
ization. The end men will be Chas.
Abercrombie, John Dorkin, Harry
Sanford and Howard Lambert. Wal
ter A. sHubben will act as interlocu-
tor. William b. Kelsey will direct
the chorus and Harry Sanford will
have charge of the end men. The
committee in charge is Asa L. Parke-
ton, chairman; Charles Aibercrombie,
Howard lambert, Charles Graham.
John G. Beards1ey William B. Kelsey,
Everett Z. BeardsleyA and Ivan I.
Morehouse.
A large audience gathered last eve
ming to hear the lecture ON Mexico
delivered by Daniel r. Holden OF New
Y ork The lecture was held at the
parish house of the Congregational
church under the auspices Of the
Mems league. Mr. Holden lived in
Mexico for many years and disclosed
many personal experiences and views
of the interesting places In which he
had visited.
The o. L. H. basketball team of
sstratford will journey to Westport this
evening to play the Compo Guards
of that town.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
Arthur Mcpenald OF west street

Arthur Mcdonald of West Street
deserves the thanks of the property
owners of the center for the good
paths he has made with his snow
pIow after each storm of the win
ter The borough authorities were
relieved of much concern and expense
by his civic thoughtfulness. Frank
Banks of Sandy Hook, and Thomas
Keane of the Glen deserve like thanks
and appreciation for their services in
the associated villages on the banks
of the Pootatuck.
The town of Newtown through At
torney J. Robert Beecher has brought
suit in the Court of Common Pleas
at Bridgeport for foreclosure of tax
liens, amounting to $1,000, on the
Ronald's Castle property.
Mr.. and Mrs. Patrick Lynch of
zoar are again enjoying the expert
ences of being grandparents through
the birth of q, son to Mr.. and Mrs.
Edward Lynch of Bridgewater Mrs.
Lynch and son are with her mother,
Mrs B. Hartnett of Stevenson.
Samuel A. Blacknan has let the
contract for the erection of a, business
block on the foundations of the Haw-
leyville hotel, destroyed by fire some
time ago The establishment of the
new concern, the Upha1n Food Pro-
ducts Co., in the village has given
life to the community, and doubtless
the building boom will spread.
Rev. Father Sinnott of ST. Roses
church is making. arrangements for
a concert and dance at the Newtown
Inn on the night of St. Patrick's Day.
An orchestra of Bridgeport will fur
nisI music for dancing and several
noted soloists will help entertain. A
large number of out of town friends
are expected.
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
EREN GH REFUTE
GERMAN CLAIMS
OF BIC VICTORY

Paris, March 1O.-An official note has
been issued categorically denying the
statement made the German official
communicated Of March 8 that "the
village and arIn6red fort of Vaux were
captured in a glorious night attack by
Posen reserve regiments under the
leadership Of General Won Guretsky
Cornitz. This assertion the note says,
Is in every way false
The note denies other statements
contgfned recent German official
com1aas1nt cati6las9
The Ere1zeh efzseiaI note says:
ssGArnasSs1 ON dispatches March
tack the PoSen reserve regiments,
Nos. s and 10, ender command of the
infantry OF General Won Guretsky
Cornitz, captured the village of Vaux
with a smaller number OF adjacent
Notifications This assertion is false
In every way. Attic very hour when
the German coInnunica ton arrived
the French STAFF found that the fort
of Vaux had not been attacked and
that the soldiers guarding it were
calmly at their posts
The same communication asserts
further Cd that German troops were
engaged in clearing French troops still
remaining out of Corbeaux woods;
CID that the Germans stormedl the
village of Vat1x- These assertions are
both untrue At the present moment
the enemy only occupies the eastern
extremity Of Corbeaux Woods the
greater part OF which is held by US.
All German counter-attacks failed to
drive us from it. The village of Vaux,
attacked during the night by German
troops was vigorously defended and
$emains in our hands. The Germans
who succeeded in getting into the vii
s9age were driven out at the, point OF
the bayonet
'sIn the attack en- FORCES, Regnfe-
vflle and Corbeaux woods, the Ger
mans ree1ared that they had made
prisoners So officers and S,277 men, all
unwounded. Now the garrisons Of
FORCES and RegnieyiI1e were In all
about 500 men and that is all the en-
envy could possibly have captured. =
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
nov SCOUTS PREPARE
FOR EXHIBIT OF WORK

Announcement has just been made
Of the plans for an exh i1aition of the
5rork done by the Boy Scouts of
&nerfca. to 7be given In the fATmory
Saturday night, April q. The details
Ill this exhibition have been worked
out by q committee of scout masters
sgortright consisting of the following:
hdessrs stanley Beans, william Ti1ton,
William Bfggart. Harvey g. Went,
Horace n. smith. Burton schook and
DorrIas Bir1ns. This meeting was held
asst night at the boys department of
the 2. M. C. A and was attended by
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
GAS, HEARTBURN
INDIGESTION OR
A SICK STOMACH
.sPape's Diapepsin'' ends all
stomach distress in five
minutes.

Time it,. Pape's Diapepsin will di-
gest ANYTHING you eat and overcome a
sour. gasSy or out-of-order stomach
surely within five minutes
If your meals don't fit comfort ably,
or what you eat lies ike a lump of
lead in your stomach, or if you have
heartburn, that is sign of ind1geS-
ton.
Get from your pharmacist a fifty
cent case of Pape's Diapepsin and take
a dose just as soon as you can. There
will be no sour stomach, no be1ching of
undigested food mixed with acid, no
stomach gas OF heartburn, fuIlness
tor heavy feeling in the stomach, na1l-
sea. facilitating headaches. dizziness
or intestinal gripping. This will all go,
and, besides, there will be no sour
food left over in the stomach to poison
your breath with nauseous odors
Pape's Diapepsin Is a certain cure
for oI1t-of-order stomachs, because it
takes hold of your food and digests 1t
just the same as IL your stomach
wasn't there.
Relief in five minutes from all stom-
ach misery is waiting for you at any
drug store
These large ffty-cent cases contain
enough s.Pape's Diapepsin'' to keen
the entire family free from stomach
disorders and indigestion for many
months. It belongs in your home
Adv
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
CONGREGATIONAL
CHURCHES WILL
HEAR OF MISSION

Two Congregational churches will
hear speakers representing the
Bridgeport Christian Union Mission
discuss the work Of the Bank street
home. on Sunday The speakers will
be Rev. Charles w. Simpson, the SUI
perintendent, who will occupy the pull
pit at the Park Street Congregational
church. and Assistant Superintendent
Hay who Will speak at the Black
Rock Congregational church.
In connection with the discussions
of the officers OF the mission, there
will be addresses. or Experiences OF
several of the men whose lives have
been changed through the uplifting
Influences of the mission home
In addition to the special services
under the auspices of the mission, the
regular services will bee arried on
as usual, at the county Jail at 8
O'Clock, and at the Bank street home
at and 9 D. m.
The custom in former years was to
organize the churches for one Sun
day to be devoted to the mission, but
this year the officers OF the mission
are presenting its work from week to
week, in all the churches
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
CIvIL SERVICE ExAMs.

The following examinations under
the direction of the United States
Civil Service Commission will take
place in New Haven. Midd1etown and
Hartford as follows: April A, income
tax deputy collector, inspector and
agent, male salary $1,000 to $1,000.
age Is to SO years: April 5, specialist
in a gricu Itural biological and psysio-
logical chemistry male, salary, $1,000
to 81, 500, age Is to 40 years; April 5,
clerk to commercial attachee, male,
salary $1,000 and expenses, age 21 to
As years; April Sc, assistant chemist,
male. salary $500, age 20 years or
over; April IL. aid. lighthouse service,
male; March IS, assistant in game
conservation male, salary $4,000, age
q to 4es years. April A. natural gas
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10

A friend once entered the studio of
George Inness, the American land
scape painter, while he was at work
and remarked that the picture on the
easel seemed to him much better than
certain former works of the artist.
<Rightr' said Inness. This is going
to be one of my best things, and the
reason is that I have had the good
luck to break my right arm and am
obliged to paint with my left hand.
You See,' he added, showing his right
hand in a sling, 'sthis hand had be-
come SO darned clever that could not
catch up with it, and it painted away
without me, while this hand'-show-
ing the left, with which he held his
brush-'"isl awkward and can do moth
ing without me-
The Bridgeport evening farmer. [volume] (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1866-1917, 1916-03-10
In The Sauna Boat.

Sam had come home from school,
hungry, as usual. Tossing his spelling
book on the kitchen table, he FASTENED
to the pantry and began an investiga-
ton of cake box, cupboards and cooky
jar.
Suddenly the back doorbeu rang.
Leaving his Improbable search, Sam
uel went to answer. On the steps
stood an unshaven, long haired man
whose clothes needed a tailor and a
laundry worker.
I'm hungry" began the stranger in
a low, aggrieved tone, land should
like somethin' to eat"
''WeI, som 1, conffded the boy.
''but you know I've been a-huntin' for
ten minutes an hain't found a thingF'
Judge.