Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1916-09-27
! FINNEeAN's PHILOSOPHY.


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Faith an now Wilson's for pro-
lection. Four year agone he was agin
It, for It was agin the constychooshun.
Now that he Is for 1t. that Immortal
Instrument has also changed Its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
"But I've good company Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfi fists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry -go-round. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're good man.
but We make,me dizzy" says Bryan,
leppin' from the Hobby-Horse and rum
min for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin ye.' says Wudthrow
THROWN him a Cocked-H Hat Nv the vim
tage Of 1909.
Heres the Army BILL" says CARR
son. How does 1t suitr he axes.
Fine says Wudthrow, 'barrin'
few changes. Yen redraw it, he
says. to provide, says he, voluntary
universal service In a Federal Mi
llishy,' says he, 'conthrolled be the
states says he; an recruited be
spiritual com pulsion,' says he. 1t
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe BOTH he
says; an the ammynitfon,' says he
must be nayther too much. nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay, be-
eoro 1rctdo xbo doyto1ac FOR ,tic x,,a
jooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me OF,
says Garrison. Are ye crazy or am
IY Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye, says wudthrow. I've a near-real
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry.
go-Round plays a side step.
"'F'what Nv the Navy says Kitchin.
1t shud be thur'y adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he. and in st. Louey,
where 1t shud be the biggest in the
world. Well be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he. so
here's the Dimycrat bill ven pass
says he.
"'But this same is the Raypubli-
cans bill,' says Kitchin starin'. Yen
go an pass it. says wudthrow. pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
l dream says Kitchin. If / liver
drank. I'd t'tink | was boozed,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off.
"How about the Army BILL axes
Hay.
Through an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd.' says
Wudthrow. wild heroic ris'lution In his
eye.
81 have here bill says Hay. pro-
vidin' for an increase Nv five hundther
men year for twinty year be says;
an amynishun for six hours acksun.
he says; twill make rs safe from
maddygasker. rneas.es muckralxin
milit-rism and marital inhdility,' he
says. an Wen catch Willy before he
dies av he doant die before we catch
him. says Hay.
Embrace me. says Wilson. oh
Hay - afther all preparedness is a
matter Nv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a job?' he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'Divil a wan says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri-
otto service I'm so bravely sipportin
me policies he says. in all their
phrases he says; L make a judge iv
ye'he.' says he. as well as yer frind
that We put in the JOKER says the
Prisidint Howly Saints says the
preparation S'nitors.
"'Ph-what does this mean at all at
allp they axes. I've the wan thrack
mind says the Presidint, am We go
all through me train Nv thought before
We come to the pork car says he.
Are We onY axes the Apostle Nv Com
mon Counsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors, fall
ing of. An the Merry-go-round plays
a Wilson Waltz (Which We know, Jawn,
Is wan step forward, two steps back,
hesitate and sidestep). An Tumulty
goes out to spread the glad tidin's that
the preparation p'rade will be led be
the President In person.
How does he save his faceT asked
Malumphy.
"'Wid his mouth, responded Finne-
gan dryly.