Arizona republican., 1916-12-10
HILARITY RUNS HIGH AT GRID
 IRON MEETING
Continued from Page One.

hetween the national chairmer con-
 tinued:
 Willcox-By the way. did William
 l. Bryan participate in this campaign?
 McC cCormick-Certainly He support
 ed the president loyally.
 Wilicox-Perhaps But he must | have had laryngitis. His voice didn't earIy as far as usual.
 Mccormick - Spea king of veal
 voices, the state Of Maine had some
 impeachment in it's speech on Novem-
 Der [. From l7,000 in September to
 1000 is some drop.
 W!hcox-put Colonel Roosevelt did
 not suffer from vocal trouble. His
 -voice was heard throughout the land.
 Mccormick l noticed from the
 returns He helped US in the winning
 Of the west.
 Here the voice Of Roosevelt inter
 rupte1 the colloquy. saying: I am
 now deroting m.' attention to my
 duties as grandfathoi- But my
 heast is bully. In 1920 the country
 will know where to lind me. My ad-
 6ress is still al oyster Bay.
 Wiilcox-What about New Jersey.
 McCormick-Hhsh. hush. we will
 talk of other things.
 Willcox-Well how about Indiana?
 Mcc ccormick-We saved Tom Mar
 shall out of that wreck.
 Wilcox-T That's so. He was running.
 wasn't he. 1 wonder what went
 wrong in Kansas.
 iaasas-I can tell you. Two dollar wleat. ten dollar hogs. and player planes.
 willcox-Do you think he kep, you out of war?
 Kansas-l dunno. Bnt somebody got us out Of debt. The national chairmen continued to p.fo ,ytr Henry Ford and the lonesome Demon Rum who had just been thrown out of several more states The Demon Rum" sang a pathetic song depicting the hopeless future for Demon Rum l and his rrmmy crew" when the follies closed with the following McCormlcl-It g funny. isn't 1t? Wilcox Whats funny. If anything's g funny tell i. 10 me l need laugh. Mccormick funny how the world keeps going around. no matter what happens. | Wricox-Yes. but 1t will move very | slowly for the next four years. l Next came q vaudeville sketch. the scene a theatrical booking office. with | Roosevelt and Bryan. as the Criss- | Cross twins Senator Lewis Colonel | George Harvey and the other national | figures applying for engagements. | Roosevelt and Bryan were first tried out
 | Roosevelt-
 The Victoria Cross I'd greatly prize; | The Iron Cross l do despise | But if l cant the hero be Il Some medal of my own youll see | They'll get the double cross from ME Il Bryan
 II They got the cross e gold from me; | The Noble Prize I've hoped to see. Il Now humbly. bearing the cross come | To say. You shall not cruelty the bum II Upon the cursed cross of RUM. HI T. E-SaV Willie what is the difference between what you intend to dc to the democratic party and what III have done to the republican party? III HryaE-Well. Teddy what is the III difference
 III r. R-You intend to make th' democratic party dry and have nlad' III the republican party sweat. H When r. R and Byran had beer III ordered out of The hooking office |I Senator Lewis. of Illinois. whip Of th' senate. appeared and recited long II series of verses Of which the follow II ing art typical. if N.ho gu ideg uaruly Senate bucks. | nd lseeDs the party on it's trucks | Who is in short the whip de luxe Jim Ham Il Who followed Hughes upon the trail | And lied q tin can to his tail. III And put the din in dinner pail2 III Jim Ham. | Who is the White House hlushing pet III The truly. only one best bet. HI Of the democratic srnartest sete III Jim Ham Colonel George. Harvey who pre- Il dcted the election of Hughes by a III large majority nexI appeared and was | chded by the vaudeville agent liar vey said he was 2 lightning cal II cuator. and that he had predicted the | first nomination ani election of . | certain professor in New Jersey. III Harvey Moreover, four years ago III l calculated exactly what electora | votes each of the three candidate' | voull have.
 II Agent--N onderful Have you done II any of The same kind of calculatins III laselNS
 arvev-ttrpculently) If you ar, | going to he nersonal m, not sta, her' III and stand for it. don't think want job from you, anyway. Tn, | North American Review is gooC enough vaudeville for me; Good day III Another travesty entitled the "Ghos II Skit" was east in "Spook Court. | with a court sitting in Judgment or | the astral spirits of asprants fol III positions m the new cabinet. Splrits Of Secretary of Commerce Redfield III Henry Ford. Postmaster General Bur. II leSpr. Colonel House. Secretary Yum Il uliv. Vance Mccormick, Frank |. II Polk counsellor to the state depart mcnt and others appeared. all to b, u ro iected. nv the judges. When tn, announcer heralded the spirit of Henry | Ford, tfe astral body ofthe Michigan manufacturer arrived ''rattling lol of tin cansr
 III Chief Iudee-Thc music is familiar | What seek you, MT Ford? l'ord--I want to he secretary of ths II treasury.
 III Chief Jrdge-Why? li l'ord-So 1 can find out how tC make money. | Chief Judge-Warden. sweep out ths padded cell for Mir. Ford. II Announcer-The spirit of Joseph P III Tumultv. secretary to the president. HI Chief Iudee-When did you acquir; ar astr;l body. Mr Tumulty? Tumulty--About a week before cleo tion.
 III Chief .'ud-c-lou men you want tc | hold Norr present jol with your phy- sica, body and get into the cabinel III with vour astral body? sr.,,. x,,lf