The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1916-12-14
The Goose ThatL Laid
the Golden Egg
BY r. A. MITcHEL

friend Sturdeynnt. "If man wants to |
win woman he must raise himself |
above his fellow men by doing some.
thing that glitters. TO wear a gaudy |
uniform is the easiest way with the |
ordinary type of woman. But am
not surprised that II required a diner-
ent sort of prominence TO secure Mrs
Sturdevnnt. She Is very bright wo-
man aud would naturally look mp to
man Of your cnllber'
Surdcvanf glanced at the ceiling,
then at the floor. then out through the
window.
yes" he replied, my wife is a
smart woman, but she has no reason TO
admire me"
That's modcsty for you."
"You don't know anything about wo-
men. John. You say woman to love
n man must look up to him. SO far'
so good. But she II just as likely to
love him because she looks down on
him The truth II. the sex Is not TO
be nnnlyzcd. This story that ! won
my wife on account OF my literary
standing is balderdash. I'll tell you
the basis OF It II you like"
"Plensc do So"
81 have always been rather imprac-
tical. and Dora n the very reverse.
When I met her ! was ambitious to
write n successful novel She listened
to my talk. sympathized with me, but
[ could see that she considered me In
the clouds.
lyon don't seem 10 think I'm up 20
the work OF successful scrlbbllngr !
said 20 her one day. mlffed at her want
OF enthusiasm.
"T think you're not down TO &c. she
replied.
"'What do YOU meanr
"oh. that would take too long to
explain
"Shc might have truthfully added. 4
wouldn't attempt 10 try TO fire II into
as stupid n brain ms yours"
~ was engaged at that time on my
story. The Goose That Laid the Golden
Egg"
~ believe 100000 copies were soldT"
Dawson broke In.
"Three hundred thousand"
"And all the while" interrupted
Dawson, ut was you who
Don't be In such hurry. I'm tell
ing this story. put $1,000 into the
venture. intended to spend Il all on
the printing and binding. but Dora
persuaded me 10 have II illustrated.
go I paid 500 OF the amount for pie
lures. The book was published through
Lampblack 4 Co. who put their I'm
print on the title page.
"Three months passed. and l got a
check from them for $3.50. The pub
lic didn't clamor for the goose that
laid the golden egg worth cent One
reviewer said that Il was easy 20 pick
out the goose that didn't lay the golden
egg. which complimentary remark evil
IDENTIFY referred to the author Another
three months passed. aud got another
check for S675.
"What was my surprise when the
next quarterly payment was made 10
receive $3.50. After that one day when
was introduced TO man he looked at
me curiously and asked, Author OF
The Goose That Laid the Golden
EggT"' Surprised. admitted that
was and with heart futter. The
next day l was told by friend that
my book was being talked about, aud
stopping at book and news stand, the
dealer told me that he was selling 4
like hot cakes. asked him 20 whai
he attributed the sudden increase oI
sales, and he replied:
1.-The public wants IT,
This satisfied me that had a
least struck popular vein, and
hoped TO climb the ladder OF literar!
fame.
ITO make long story short, m!
novel was talked about by everybody
rich and poor. high and low. In sii
months I had cleared a small fortune
then the sales fell 20 nothing. l ha'
made some money. but no literary rep
utatlOn.
Dora and l were married and wen
TO Europe on bridal trip. One da.
while on the voyage over ! was twii
ting her on her want OF appreciation
OF my ability 10 succeed as an author
when she said;
THE reviewer who said that II wa
easy TO pick out the goose that didn'
lay the golden egg was half Itghi
Now listen 10 me.
, "'One day after your novel had fal
en- nat.' she went ON. I concluded
,, try to stir mp an interest In II. wen
/, to all my friends aud told them ther
was a hidden meaning In the title an
asked them 10 guess what II was. The
/, all went about .propOunding the quer
J TO their friends. IL got noised aboI
! that there was mystery In the boo
!. that did not appear on the surfac
> I re-enforced the position by propOun'
a ing tbe query whether the goose va
= a goose or a gander. This set peop
\ 10 quarreling as TO whether the her
!. Tom Phunnyfeller, or the heroin
Miriam Twaddleby. was the myster
4 To half my friends | suggested thi
Al