Mansfield mirror. (Mansfield, Wright County, Mo.) 1908-1957, 1916-10-12
fINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry.Go.Round.

Vs. ~" "
lection. Four year agOne he was agin
1t. for It was agin the cOnstychOOshun.
Now that he Is for 1t. that immortal
Instrument has also changed its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison. the civil service Dimycrats.
and the raIe Dimycrats, the Passytists
an the vulgar sOwls that's none Toe
Proud to Fght'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-rOund. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye--ye'rc a good man.
hut We make nj dizzy says Bryan.
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
min for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at lOsin' ye.' says Wudthrow
thrOwin' him a Cocked-Hat Nv the vim
tage Of 1909.
"'Here's the Army hill says Gnrrt.
son. How does 1t suit?' he axes,
"'Fins,' says Wudthrow. 'barrin' a
few changes Yen redraw It, he
says. to provide says he, 'volun-
tary>lniversal service In a Federal
Milishy.' says he. controlled be the
states says he; an recruited be
spiritual cOm-pulsiOn.' says he. 1t
shud be nuyther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe BOTH he
says; an the ammynition.' says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore ! decide the daytales, for It's me
j'ooty to kape an open mind says
WudthrOw.
"'StOp the music and lave me or
says Garrison. Are ye crazy or am
IT Garrison means. layin' OH his back
an gain. wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye.' says Wudthrow. I've a near-reai
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays a side step.
"'F'what Nv the Navyy' says Kitchin.
1T shud. be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'ex-
cept In Montany, where we need no
Navy says he. and In st. LOuey,
where 1t shud be the biggest in the
world. Wen be me exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he. so
here's the Dimycrat bill yen pass
says he.
"'But this same is the Raypubli-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin'. Yen
go an pass it, says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
l dream, says Kitchin. If liver
drank, I'd rink ! was boozed.' says
Kitchin In a threnblin' vice. And he
falls oil.
"'How about the Army bill? axes
Hay.
""ThorOugh an instant preparation
for definse must he the wurd,' says
WudthrOw, wild heroic ris'lutiOn In his
eye.
81 have here a bill.' says Hay, pro
vidin' for an increase Nv five hundther
men a year for twinty year. he says;
AN amynIshun for six hours ackshun,'
he says, twill make US safe from
Madagascar. measles, muckrakin'.
| milit-rism aud marital infidelity.' he
| says, an wen catch Willy before he
dies Az he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
, "'Embrace me- says Wilson. ON
Hay-afther all preparedness Is q
matther ". the heart an not Of guns
or forts. did Cleveland ivir give ye
a job?' he axes, stoppin' short like.
"'Divil a wan.' says Hay. Thin,
says WudthrOw shakin' the both Nv
Hays hands cordial like. for yer patri-
otto service in so bravely sipportin'
me policies he says. in all their
phrases he says. ! make q Judge "
ye'he,' says he. as well as yer frind
that We put In the Joker says the
Prisidint. 'Howly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Ph'what does this mean at all
at allT they axes. I've the wan
thrack mind says the Presidint, an
We 90 all through me train ~ thought
before We come to the pork car says
he. Are We on?' axes the Apostle "
Common Counsels.
"'We're on says the Sinitors, fall
ing off. An the Merry-(lO.ROund plays
a Wilson Waltz. (Which We know
Jawn. Is q step forward. two steps
back. hesitate an sidestep). An Tu
multy goes out to spread the glac
tidin's that the preparation p'rade vii
ho Iod ha tho President in nprson
"'How does he save his face" asked
Malumphy.
vivid his mouth" responded Finne
gan dryly.