davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

biles, now that gasolene is showed up
so HIGH" Birsky said.
swell, that don't change my plans
any," Zapp replied, because the way
the waist business is after Christmas,
Birsky, if I owned the Hudson River
and automobiles was run with water,
l couldn't afford pushcart even."
'Even so, Zapp, there's lots of fell
lers in the delicatessen business which
is obliged to run automobile deliveries,
and for every penny they've got to
pay more on gasolene, they stick two
cents pound on pastrami oder Frank
furters."
THAT again is something for a
manufacturer of sOdamint oder pepsin
tablets to worry about, not me, Birsky.
Anyhow, Birsky, if cigar stores
couldn't sell cigarettes to minors I'M
der the age of sixteen, there ought to
be law prohibiting dlicatessen deal
ers from selling their machshovOs to
adults over the age of twenty-five. In
fact, Birsky, If Kansas and Maine
would go prohibition on delicatessen
instead of schnappS, Birsky, not only
would it be better for business, yum
derstand, but there would be less
crimes also, on account there is more
fellers feels like committing murder
the day after one delicatesSen supper
than ten minutes after hundred high
balls, and don't you forget it. And
that's only one reason why Rockefeller
amt doing no harm by putting up the
price of gasolene, because when / am
getting heart trouble from crossing
Fifth Avenue at o'clock in the after
noon, 1 wish automobiles was run, not
with gasOlene, but with benedict;ne
oder bay rum at dollar thirty-five a
quart"
That's where you're making a big
mistake, Zapp," Birsky said. "Nowa-
days for an up-to-date Teller, in way,
an automobile is, so-to-speak, practic-
ally necessity"
"a four thousand dollar automobile
is necessity" Zapp cried.
"a four thousand dollar car I amt
speakin' about at ALL" Bfrsky con-
tinued. because for a thousand dol
lars only, Zapp, you could get car NIT
thirty-five horsepower already, five
passenger body, electric self-starter
and lighter and everything up to date.
Such a car is a gen'wine bargain at
one thousand dollars"
IF you could afford the thousand
dollars, Birsky," Zapp said, (which the
way the realestate business is dead
nowadays, Birsky, you've got about as
much chance as I've got to buy thou
sand dollar automobile"
Birsky hid the lower One-third of
his bushes in cup of coffee.
"The fact u.s." he said at last, 1--WE
got maturing on me this week for fiji
teen hundred dollars an endowment
policy, Zapp, and if you would come up
to my house next Sunday morning we'll
take q little run out to Ozone Grove,
and I'll show you them lots was talk
ing to you about"
"You mean them lots they threat
ened last month to foreclose on you,
Birsky?" Zapp asked.
Birsky's face grew shade more
crimson.
81 paid 'em two hundred dollars a
bonus, and they gave me three-year
extension" he explained huskily aud
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
OF INTEREST TO MOTHERS

The cost Of food today is serious
matter to all Of you. To cut down
your food bills and at the same time
improve the health Of your family,
serve them SkInner's Macaronl and
Spaghetti two or three times per week.
Children love 1t and thrive on it. It
Is the best possible food for adults.
Write the Skinner Mfg. Co., Omaha,
Nebr., for beautiful cook book telling
how to serve it in a hundred ways.
It's free to every mother.-Adv.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
irish Wit triumphant.

An Irish waiter named Kenny was
noted for his wit and ready answers.
4 party of gentlemen who were stay
ing at the hotel heard of Kenny's wit,
and one of them made bet that he
would say something that Kenny
couldn't answer at once. A bottle of
champagne was ordered, and the one
who had made the bet took hold of the
bottle and commenced to open 1t. The
cork came out with a bang and flew
into Kenny's mouth. "Ah," he said,
that is not the way to Cork !" Kenny
took the cork out of his mouth and
replied: "No, but it's the way to Kill
KENNY"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
With Sorrow.

An example Of the genially naive is
the following, clipped from an ex-
change:
at is with sorrow that we announce
an accident to Mrs. John Whitman,
wife Of the well-known grocer, who
sells three pounds and half Of sugar
for quarter. While he was chasing
her around the yard In fun the other
evening she stepped on an old tomato
can and severely lacerated her foot.
Should blood poisoning set in and she
be removed from our midst the Ban
ner will turn its column rules as a
tribute to her."
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

made out check to the order of the
Teller that sold it, Rirsky, and all them
diamonds Bertha PITT wears should
ought to be hanging on Mrs. Shapol-
mix right now. In fact, Mrs. Shapoinik
don't know it, Birsky, but Sam PITT
stole them diamonds from her.
Birsky shrugged his shoulders depre-
catingly.
you ought to be careful what you
are saying, Zapp," he advised. From
a big mouth many Teller comes to
pay fifty dollars for smart lawyer
to get a libel case thrown out of court
already"
"a rabbi would fell you the same
what do, Birsky. The difference be-
tween a sneak thief and a Teller which
lives beyond his means is that the
sneak thief robs only from perfect
strangers"
what do you mean-robbing?" Biz
sky protested. According to you, If
a Teller buys couple thousand dollars
goods which he needs it in his bust
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
Reads Better Than II Sounds.

Not even an editor-unless he hap
pens to be the one designated as ''war
editor"-can keep track Of the spell
ing and pronunciation Of the many
syllabled names Of towns, rivers and
mountains which come through in the
reports of the war. Recently man
aging editor finished reading an un-
usually well-written story Of the Brit
fish offensive on the Somme river front
In France, and handed it back to the
"war editor"
That's bully good story" he said.
'It's good for two-column head, and
be sure to use that line about the ar
tillery roaring from - from - ah-
Thingumbob to h-Whatchacallem."
1t got in the paper just as he in
tended II.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
Did Not Interest Him.

"What did you learn at church to-
dayT Bill was asked, 1t having been
his first experience. although he had
often been to Sunday school.
"Oh the minister talked and there
was singing" t
''But what did the minister sayY
''Oh he talked lot about paying
the rent, but 1 did not listen much"
Every one was puzzled, but at last
It was clear. The minister had talked
about the duty Of the parent and pro-
nounced it payment.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
DON'T LOSE YOUR HAIR
Prevent 1t by Using cuticura Soap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

II your scalp is irritated, itching and
burning and your hair dry and falling
out in handfuls try the following treat
ment: touch spots of dandruff and
itching with Cuticura Ointment and
follow with hot shampoo of Cuticura
Soap. Absolutely nothing better.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
Early Christian,

docs your minister practice what
he preachesT the newcomer ques-
toned.
"He Does" the citizen answered with
sigh, land I'd be perfectly willing to
have him stop. He lives next door to
me, and begins at seven o'clock Sun
day morning to practice what he is go
ing to preach"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

minutes his form Is seen in the water
coming up. His face Is turned up
ward. His strong hands beat the wa
ter away from under him in vigorous
downward sweeps. His face looks ter
ribly strained. At last, breathless, ex-
hausted, he reaches the surface and Is
hauled into the boat, where he lies
quite still for few moments, appar-
emily exhausted. But in comparative
ly few minutes he is ready to plunge
again.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
Revised Version.

Man wants but little here below,
nor wants that little long," is what
they sang long years ags, but it's now
a different song. The words we use
are different, quite, though fully as
sublime:s Man wants everything in
sight-and he wants it all the time" "
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

Teen i SUFFERED eacu
month so I had to be
in bed. / had head
ache, backache and
such pains ] would
cramp double every
month"; I did not
know what it was
to be easy a minute
My health was all
run down and the
doctors did not do
~n a~~ ~ooI A
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

The hurt of burn or cut stops when
Coles Carbolisalve is applied. 1t heals
all druggists. For free sample write The
]. w. Cole Co, Rockford. Ill.-Adv.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

Appropriate Exclamation.
She-Just look That church up
the street is on firel
He-Holy smoke!
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
DO YOU GET Up WITH A LAME BACK?
Have You Rheumatism, Kidney, Liver or
Bladder Trouble?

Pain or dull ache in the back is often
evidence of kidney trouble. 1t is Natures
timely warning to show you that the track
Of health is not clear.
Danger Signals.
II these danger signals are unheeded
more serious results may be expected;
kidney trouble in its worst form may steal
upon you.
Thousands of people have testified that
the mild and immediate effect of Swamp
Root, the great kidney, liver and bladder
remedy, is soon realized-that it stands
the highest for its remarkable curative
effect in the most distressing cases. If
you need . medicine. you should have the
best.
Lame Back.
Lame back is only one of many symp-
toms of kidney trouble. Other symp-
toms showing that you may need Swamp
Root are, being subject to embarrassing
and frequent bladder troubles day and
SPECIAL NoTE-You may obtain al
ten cents to DR.. Kilmer & Co., Binghamt
to prove the remarkable merit of this me,
valuable information, containing many of
from men and women who say they found
IN kidney, liver and bladder troubles Tn
well known that our readers are advised to
KilmsS & Co, Binghamton, N. z. When '
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
The More Effective Way.

The sign, "Boy Wanted" is more fire
quent in windows and in advertise
ment columns, than 1t was a year ago
Between improved economic condi
lions and laws enforcing school attend
ance, It has come to pass, lin the Unit
ed States, that few lads who want
work need go unemployed. On the
other hand, never were school and col
leges SO crowded, and administrators
so put to it to find room for pupils OF
high school and college age. In this
way, far more effectively than by spe-
cific statutory enactment, is child la
Dor being reduced.-Christian Science
Monitor.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

Russian women predominant among
foreign-bOrn students of their sex in
Paris.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

Using benzine for fuel, new ciga-
rette lighter is close imitation Of q
cigarette
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

Anuric cures Backache, Lumbago,
Rheumatism. Send l0c. DIR. V. M. Pierce,
Buffalo, N. Y, for large trial package
Adv
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

st. Louis has one factory which will
this year consume 100,OOO,OO0 feet Of
lumber.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
,T>HE HIGH cost of living is ter

rible expensive nowadays"
Louis Birsky the real estater
remarked, as he seated himself OppO-
site Barnet Zapp in Wasserbaure's
Restaurant. This observation had
been provoked by notice in the bill of
fare that on and after q certain date
the 40 cent regular dinner would be
increased to so cents, and Zapp looked
up from plate of lokshen soup to in
dorse Birsky's sentiment with a nod so
emphatic that drops of the greasy fluid
were scattered all around.
II bet yer," Zapp said, cleansing his
mustache with his lower lip. "Only
this morning see it costs Marcus Fast
two thousand dollars for an autOmO-
bile already"
"You don't tell mel" Louis ex-
claimed.
"And Harris Shapolnik must also got
to pay for some diamonds fifteen hun
dred dollars" Zapp continued, while
Birsky wagged his head from side to
side and made incoherent noises
through his nose indicative of shocked
surprise.
II always thought them two fellers
was pretty saving with their money"
he commented.
"a couple of tighter propositions
don't exist at ALL" Zapp agreed.
"Then what do they go to work and
buy all them things for?" Birsky asked.
"Who says they bought 'em?" Zapp
a ;ked. Gall says is that Marcus Fast
pays two thousand dollars for an auto
mobile and Harris Shapolnik pays fif-
teen hundred dollars for some dia-
monds, understand me, but it was ia
cob ]. Rebfield who bought the auto
mobile and Sam PITT bought the dia-
monds. Also 1 could prove it to you,
black on white"
Here he produced clipping which
read as follows:
BUSINESS TROUBLES
Rebfeld G. Pitz.-Schedues In the
bankruptcy of Rebfeld & PITT, cloak
and suit manufacturers, were filed in
the Office of the clerk of the United
States District Court yesterday. The
CTSullOIS are as lOllOWS.
Franco-American Woollen Co.$21, 1926
Kosciusko Bank (secured)...... O,642. so
M. Fast e Co ................. 2,0S045
H. Shapolnik G. Son............. 1,525.00
"What did them Franco-American
people pay for?" Birsky asked. "a
steam yatch?"
81 couldn't tell you exactly" Zapp
rar1IinI Uh,,t
five hundred dollars that Mrs. Reb-
field must got to go. to Palm Beach a
year ago, understand me, and another
couple thousand that Bertha PITT is
the Belle of the Boardwalk in Arverne
last summer, Birsky, and that's the
way it goes"
Them two boys certainly lived be-
yond their MEANS" Zapp said.
"And it amt their fault that they
didn't live beyond Marcus Fast's
means and Harris Shapolnik's means
also, because when a business man
starts in to live beyond his means,
Birsky, he's got a downtown con-
science and an uptown conscience.
That's why when Rebfield buys his au-
tomobile on Broadway and Fifty-sev-
enth Street for net cash, he didn't
worry himself how much he owes to a
couple of Canal Street woollen houses
like Marcus Fast and Harris Shapol-
mix"
"Ain't it funny how most of them ex-
travagant fellers is got such an elegant
reputation for good pay?" Birsky said.
son the West Side above Forty-sec-
ond Street." Zapp amended. "And
that's what I'm telling you, Birsky.
Marcus Fast pays for Rebfield's auto
mobile, just so sure as if he would of
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
warnind

warming.
She-You shouldn't do that. They
say one catches lots of thinks by kiss
ing.
He-Yes, dear, even husbands.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
Mystery.

Mystery.
"What did Rastus git married for7"
"Lawd only knows, chile. He keeps
right. on workin'."
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

London, England, can spare no more
firemen for the army.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
u DON'T SUFFER
y ANY MORE"
"Feel Like a New Person"
says Mrs. Hamilton.

New Castle, Ind" From the time
Twas eleven years old until / was seven.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24
For chapped Lips or Burns.

For Chapped Lips or Burns.
Equal parts of turpentine, sweet OIL
and beeswax; melt the Oil and wax
together and when a little cool, add
the turpentine, and stir until cool, to
keep them evenly mixed. Apply with
q thin linen cloth.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

The Kind.
IT am afraid my fate has put me in
the hands of sharks"
"Then it looks like 1t was your fate
to q finish"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

night, irritation, sediment, etc.
Lack of control, smarting, uric acid.
dizziness, indigestion, sleeplessness, nerv.
BUSINESS, sometimes the heart acts badly.
rheumatism, bloating, lack of ambition,
may be loss Of flesh, sallow complexion.
PrevaIency Of Kidney Disease.
Most people do not realize the alarm.
ing increase and remarkable prevalency
of kidney disease. While kidney dis
orders are among the most common
diseases that prevail, they are sometimes
the last recognized by patients. .vAe
very often content themselves u1tA doctor.
ing the Effects, zVlsi< the original diseass
may constantly undermine the system.
Regular fifty-cent and one-dollar size
bottles at all drug stores.
Don't make any mistake, but remember
the name, DIR. Kilmer's Swamp Root. and
the address, Binghamton, N. Y, which
you will find on every bottle.
nple size bottle of Swamp Root By enclosins
N, N. 7. This gives you the opportunity
icine. They will also send you book Of
the thousands of grateful letters received
Swamp-Root to be just the remedy needed
, value and success of Swamp-R Root are "a
send for sample size bottle. Address N
Tsting Be SURE and msntion this paper.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-11-24

Important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, that famous old remedy
for infants and children, and see that it
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1912-1984, 1916-02-01
ICE PLANT FOR MoRELAND
West End Hustlers Plan to Suppl,
A Big Territory

L. F. Steele, of Hustonville, and
George B. Pruitt, of Moreland, two
of the West Ends ''livest wires," are
planning an ice plant for Moreland.
They propose stock company and
stock in it is already going rapidly.
The two gentlemen will be heavy
holders, but prefer to have a number
of people of the community interest
ed that they may have their coop
Grafton. Mr.. Steele, who is the chief
promoter, says he is confident that
the ice plant will pay an annual div
idend of from 10 to Is per cent from
the start. The field for operation is
certainly most excellent one and
located right on a switch at More
land, shipping to all points North and
South would be an easy matter. There
is no ice plant between Danville and
Somerset and none in Casey. The
proposition seems a most feasible one
and it is not surprising that the stock
is meeting with such ready sale.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1912-1984, 1916-02-01
CHAUTAUQUA
"A SURE GO
Woman's Club Makes Sufficient Ad-
vance Ticket Sale-Bryan on
the Program.

The advance sale of tickets having
been sufficiently numerous, the la
dies of the Stanford Woman's Club
at a meeting Monday afternoon con-
tracted with the Alkahest Lyceum
Bureau of Atlanta, Ga, to put on a
six-day program here this summer.
Mr.. Sewell, representing the bureau
was here and met with the ladies.
The cost of the weeks entertainment
will be about $3.50 and not $3.50 as
was intimated last week and the good
women have been working like bea-
vers to engage enough tickets to
guarantee the sum that will be re-
auired. They have sold 800 tickets,
it is understood, and hope to be able
to dispose of the remaining rs ne
cessary before the Chautauqua is
held.
A tentative program has been
drafted for the Chautauqua here
which is very attractive, one of the
chief features being William Jennings
Bryan or Vice President Thomas 3.
Marshall for lecture. Either will
undoubtedly draw big crowd, from
this and surrounding communities.
The tentative draft of the program
is as follows:
Monday-L. A. C. Orchestra 40
singers); Ralph Parlette in humor-
Gus lecture.
Tuesday-Beasley Sisters, enter
tanners and singers; Alton Packard,
cartoonist.
Wednesday = Crittenden Mayo
Quartette; William Jennings Bryan
or Vice President Marshall.
Thursday : Neapolitan Orchestra
with two soloists; Judge Alden.
Friday-Judge Miller, oSpokane,
Wash; Hampton Court Players, sing
ers and entertainers.
Saturday-Milo, Picco and Com
pany.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1912-1984, 1916-02-01
Waynesburg

Rev. J. L. Dotson, district evan
gelist, will begin series of meetings
here Sunday, January 31st.
Rev. E. w. Coakley, of Nicholas
vile, has been called as pastor of
the Baptist church here, this year.
Miss Corine Florence is very i'll
at this writing.
Little Alma Reynolds has a severe
cold and sore throat.
There are several cases of colds
and grip in the community.
Mr.. w. P. Warmer came home
from New Castle Sunday, with very
sore shoulder, the result Of a fall on
ice.
Mrs. Lucinda Pitman had the mis-
fortune to fall on the ice last SUM-
day and hurt her arm very badly
She is rapidly recovering.
Mrs. o. T. Caldwell is in Kingston,
Tenn, taking a treatment under DR..
J. S. Anderson.
Mrs. Hardin Claunch is very ill.
Miss Leila Richardson, of Ttates-
vile, is attending school here.
Mr.. M. F. Tolliver has rented the
store-room of the X. o. T. M. hall
and will put in a stock of goods In
a short while.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1912-1984, 1916-02-01
NOTES OF CURRENT EVENTS.

) Walter Dalton has been appointed
postmaster at Zula, Wayne county,
to succeed James M. Eads.
Lebanon Junction has probably the
oldest city judge in Kentucky. He is
w. H. Thomas, considerably over 80
years old.
The federal court at Louisville held
that the Western Union has a right
to keep its poles along the right of
way of the L. & N. railroad.
At Lebanon, Tenn, Charles Wal
lace, thrice married and 80 years
old, ran off and married Miss Julia
Harvey, just Is. The irate parents
gave hot pursuit and overlook their
just after the knot was tied.
Aaron Kohn, one of the most ia
nous lawyers of Kentucky, died sud-
denly at his home in Louisville, SAT-
urday night. Mr.. Kohn was distin-
guished as criminal lawyer, and is
said to have defended 500 men charg-
ed with murder and to have saved ev-
eryone of them from the gallows. He
was Jew, a Democrat, Mason, and
prominent in all civic and other pub
lie fairs of Louisville. His mother
was born in Germany and his father
in Russia.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1912-1984, 1916-02-01
GOES ON IMPORTANT MISSION
w. H. Wearen Represents Millers
Before Congregational Committee

w. H. Wearen, of this city, sec
rotary of the Central Kentucky Mil
lers' Association left Saturday eve
ming for Washington, d. c., to rep
resent that body before the congress
sional committee which has in charge
the Rainey bill which seeks to repeal
the present inspection tax on adul-
terated flour. Mr.. Wearen was Sc
lected for this important work at a
meeting Of the millers of the Blue
Grass part of Kentucky at Lexing-
ton last week. The present tax was
imposed, the millers declare, during
the Spanish-American war as a war
tax, and made the manufacture of
-four adulterated with corn -four or
starch known to the consumer. 1t
provides also for the labelling of
the product and licensing of millers
! who would make it. Their present
agitation, they declare, is in the in
terest of honest flour. Representative
Rainey's bill, they say, would take
the matter out of the hands of the
revenue Office and place it under the
pure food and drug department, and
would remove the penalty for the
manufacture of the mixture. Under
the tax method of inspection the
government can inspect mixed flour
at all points. Under the Federal
pure food law, the governments ju-
risdiction would stop at the State
lines, and would cost the State, it is
declared, if the measure is repealed,
at least $4,000 annually to see that
the labelling is complied with in the
home markets.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1912-1984, 1916-02-01
PROMINENT WOMAN DEAD.

Mrs. Martha Pollard, wife of 5.
H. Pollard, died at her home in Lex
ington of pneumonia a few days
since. Besides her husband she is
survived by five children. Deceased
who was ~ years old and most
excellent Christian woman, was sis
ter of Mr.. F. M. Ware, of McKin-
ney, and Mrs. Josiah Bishop, of Hus-
tonville. The other surviving broth
ers and sisters are: Mrs. Perkins
Gragg, of Somerset, Mrs. Brent
Gragg, of Sacramento, CAL, j. F.
Ware, of Boyle county, ]. H. Ware,
of Indianapolis, w. w. Ware, of
Paris, ILL.,, and Mrs. Lizzie Dutton, of
Lexington. The burial occurred in
the Lexington Cemetery.