The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1916-11-02
fihNEGAk'S PHILOSOPHY
EALAAM.

"I1ave me ride We says Balaam, AN
wurld.'
"'Great,' says the ASS; what dye
feedy
"'Pork.' says i;alaam.
"'Me savior says the ASS.
$50 Balaam mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
"'Phwat is it?' says Balaam.
"'Snakcs.' say the ASS; ut looks
like the iaMbone uv me mother
"'G'wnn.' says I.alaam. hittin' the
Ass Il clip. ''tis me f,rren' policy
he says.
"'phwat's II, fnr?' axes the ASS.
"'Ut dn!inl> the nashun,' says Ba-
liam.
"'How?' says: thu Ass.
"'Fai,h:' says N,l:am, ut takes a
Lave II to Hrin".' says Rnlaam to the
ASS: an the Jack walks on melita-
tin.
%"'1lce, haw,' says the ASS, balkin'
an kickin'.
"'Nlut now? says l;nlaam.
"I'ivil Il JaciaSS ever seen the like
says the ASS. Ut could be a frog
says he. for III stands up in front.
and sits down behind: an it's mostly
mouth says the Ass. ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
strcalis, thai changes he says. TO
Very CrooZ Red. or Niagary Blue, an
now they're CarrySnll Yaller again.
says he. 'llivins. have l been drink
in:' screams the ASS to Balaam.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me WatchFul Wnltim' can still change
it's mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan. in the
service NV Mankind says Balaam to
the ASS, touching him up. An the
ASS shufllaS ahead. wuvin' his ears in
admiration.
"Hee-lmw! lIre-hawr says the
Jack, rearin' mp wild his eyes bulgin'.
"Phwnt's grippin' We now? says
Balaam, impushunt like.
81 dunno says the Ass. Ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialist Crew he says.
"'Tis HE Ship Bill says BALKAN.
Side step to the right he says;
side step to the left says he, well
tim him. Back up says Balaam,
near w%renchin' off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty miliyun pork says Ba-
laan wild Il shower NV blows; an the
ASS goes on tlreta'lin'.
"'Wah-hee! Wulr;lce! Wuh-heer
says the Jack. sh,rin' 50 he near
threw his rider.
"Tn learn We t" shy at me Naval
Bill says l;uI;am, l%ar-rupin' the
basic so he cud scarce stand.
aye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack in
a coarse whisper.
"'Ye ASS says l','anm. Don't We
Know that emmy ''3:@: is neither nor
~nakedHoss? G'wun.' says Baiaam, in
tones Nv thunder. SO the poor haste
lopes on. limpin' wild pain.
tive not time to tell We all the adj
ventures t'lsy had. but they KEEP on
over rough roads. now an then eros
sin a ditch on a wan term plank,
which made yen Balaam unaisy,
lvirS time the Jack kicked. he rot
short rations am ii wn,lup. SO when
the journey was near over, the Door
haste was Ill in, and far too proud to
fight. ANY Jack-ASs can be that
when he's licked.
IVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into a harmony like a Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gaSpipe wild the
feet.
"ihwnt aiIs We nnwY calls BALKAN,
clubbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivycr did | pass tho like wells
the ASS, sweating and %thremblin', ut
says ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwat
IS utT screams the ASS to Balaam,
feebly Vaughn his ears.
~ dinno phwat ut is meself,' laws
Bniaam, but ! know phwat ut's GOT
BALKAN says.
"Phwat? axes the poor ASS.
Ffvc hundtller thousand votes.'
says Balaam, wild a pious air. 'G'wan,
We big ASS, an doant We argue wild
an ldaylist,' says BALKAN to the Ass.
1--WE can't pass ut in the dark
pleads the Ass. Lave us wait for
light means the ASS, weepin'.
Nix says Balaam. There's q hot
time COMM an the votesll smile.
DO We thurst for sixteen more yeors
! p the wilderness? Giddap,' saws he,
'purgin' yer heart says Balaom. Nv
iyiry thought that's SELFISH saws b.
'ann, or PERSONAL chants Baloon to
the poor Ass ticklin' the Jacks STATS
wild a couplin' pin.
"by this time the ASS was so wore
out wild his ardyous labors, that he
knew no more than Balaam himself
So wild n despairin' cry, he dropped
Ills ears, as he an his mostor rtL,..