The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1916-01-19
BY FRANK G. MENkE.

New York, Jan. 1s.--Up In the wilds
of Greenfield, Mass. lives a youth
named William du Mont, otherwise
known as "Zukie," who is the. original
victim of the "woof' handicap In golf
Once upon a time, runs the story,
"Zukie." who spends large portions of
the year chasing hither and thither in
pursuit of the elusive buyers of tool
steel. dies and similar bits of hard
ware. returned to his home town. Al
ter being patted upon his spinal column
by his bosses In energetic appreciation
of his nice sales record, "Zukis" de-
cided to take an afternoon unto him
self, loaded his golfing clubs upon his
shoulders, and wandered out in the
general direction of the Greenfield
links.
When "Zukie" arrived at the course
he found that all the good golfers were
considerably absent; they were watch
ing a circus parade or INDUCING In
some similar Greenfield deviltry. gu
kie" scanned the landscape and could
see naught,, but a despicable dub"
puttering away. "Zukie" yearned to
battle with a real golfer, but even
dub" furnishes more competition than
a game of solitaire golf.
Greetings. fair one" calculated "Zu-
kie," approaching the dub" ''Wouldst
have q game with mef"
The dub looked at "Zukie" in a
puzzled way, and said;
II don't quite make you"
II mean" said "Zukie," that I'd
I like to play a game with you. III
give you a handicap OF one stroke a
hole-two strokes hole II you like.
And we'll play for one golf ball, just
to make IT a bit interesting. What say
you?"
Dub Gets swoof, Handicap.
I'm willing. replied the dub" but
I'm not satisfied with the handicap
Never mind giving me any strokes
Just allow me two 'woofs as handi-
cap and I'll play you for two or three
rails. Just rs you like"
II was "Zukte's" turn to look pas-
zled.
Two 'woofs~ what's them, hey.'
he asked, lapsing into the ungramn1a-
teal.
Nothing at all except a couple OF
'woofs' returned the dub "Just let
me say 'woof' twice during our game
that's all the handicap i want. And
we'll play for three balls. How about
to-
"Zukie" readily agreed. This was a
cinch for him. He played at least
forty strokes ahead of the dub" In
eighteen holes and this looked sure
way Of gathering unto himself three
nice. new golf balls at the expense
of someone else.
"Zukie" captured the hrst hoie-with
ease, He mounted the tee for the
drive for the second hole. He teed his
bali nicely, got into position and was
half way through with his swing when
a yelI-"woof'-frac tho after
noon quiet.
s@Woor' Unnerves Star Golfer.
The sudden yell threw "zukie" of
his balance he topped the ball and in
stead of getting his average drive of
22s yards he dribbled the ball about
eight feet
"Hey. watcha yeilin' at me like that
for, anyway" roared the snraged "Zu-
kie" at his foe.
Il gotta right to do it," was the
calm answer.
Right? You gotta right to yell? Say.
don't you know anything about golf
etiquette? woncha know you dasn't
yell or talk or even move when your
opponent is driving?"
Yep know that responded his
foe--.But don't YOU remember about
my handicap? I'm allowed two w0ofs.
That was one of them"
And then a great light dawned upon
Zukie.
"Oh. that's whatcha meant. hey. when