davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
As To COPING.

4 last resort criticism of the demo
cratic party by its opponents is that
it is unable to cope with the business
'upheavaIs that come after the war"
Too silly IN view of the democratic
party's record during the past few
years osbe worth much consideration!
As a matter of fact, coping with" is
the democratic party's long suit.
It COPIED with the difficulties of the
tariff, it COPIED with currency condi-
tons inherited from the republican
party: il COPIED with the matter Of
rural loans: it COPIED with the neces-
sity for preparedness; ii COPIED with
the selfish demands of jingoes in Mex
lean affairs; it COPIED with the matter
of taxing great incomes for govern
mental expenses; It COPIED with gov
ernmen1al regulation of interstate car
rfers; h~coped with labor's difficulties;
it COPIED with the dominating issue of
American neutrality and dozens of
others. and rs primed and ready for
a lot more coping
If there ever was a time when the
republican party, with its Penroses,
Smoots. Hemenways, GaIlingers, Bran
degees, Du Points, Fairbanks, Roots,
divers. and that ilk should be rejected,
this is the year. What they would do
with the business upheavals" TO fol-
low the end of the European war
would be crime against the govern
ments good name and fair fame. The
lust for spoilation, the rapacity OF
privilege, the constituencies robbery
of the helpless and enrichment of the
favored have always been the repub
lican paTty's idea Of proper and fit cop
ing.
The democratic party viii prove as
able and wise in the matter of hand
ling-or coping with-condition at
ter world-peace comes, as it has prov
en- during the existence Of worldwar-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14

and calls it "Tuxon." Mr.. Smith of
Arizona objects to that pronunciation.
MIR. penrose doesn't care. He thinks
there are more coyotes than voters
out there anyway. Is that SO, says
Mr.. Smith. Well, there aren't as many
coyotes as there are timber wolves
in Pennsylvania
Mr.. PeurOse thinks that if Tucson
gets that building the traveller viii
get the impression that Tucson Is all
building and no town. Mr., smith
thinks that If Tucson were in Penn
sylvania the appropriation would have
been for 5000, 600 instead of 1926. 600.
Mr. MARITIME brings in Mr.. Pen
roses motor car again. 1t is called
the Rcd Devil. be remembers. He fire.
quently sees Mr.. Penrose honking
through New Jersey in it and soaring
the chickens and calves. Which re-
minds MIR. MARITIME further that Penn
sylvania will get 5000, 900 under the
federal road bill to improve it's roads,
presumably for the benefit of the Red
Devil
And so the senate deIiberates day
after day on the momentOuS ques-
tons before it, trusting that If its
strength holds out it will get through
in October
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
SUBMARINE OF THE FUTURE

The FTankfurter Zeitung quotes the
following from an article in the week
y technical paper, PrOmetheus, or
new submarines and diving cruisers.
Reports have been lately even more
persistent that the two foremost naval
powers have begun building regular
submarine cruisers. These vessels are
Of 5000 tons gross, are 400 feet long,
and are as strongly protected and
armed as medium-siZed protected
cruisers. They have engines Of Is, 5000
horsepower, developing a speed above
water of rs and under water of Is
knots. Their effective radius is from
$4,000 to 10000 nautical miles, and
they are capable of travelling from the
Baltic TO Japan without Teplenishing
their fuel They carry thirty torpedo
tubes and TWO reserve torpedoes for
each tube (ninety torpedoes in alb
and several light and medium quick
frers Tor defense against aircraft.
The Journal says: THE most terri
BILE weapon, however, which the sub
marine cruiser will have, in addition
TO the torQadoes, is the apparatus al
ready introduced with such great sue
cess in submarines for laying sub
merged contact mines, OF which each
Of these strange vessels will carry
from 125 to 100"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
New York World.)

Mr. Hughes is denouncing President
Wilson because there is extravaganza
in the government of the United States.
But Mr.. Hughes gave New York the
most extravagaut administration ii
had ever known.
During the four years previous to
Mr.. Hughes the total appropriations
made by the legislature and signed by
the governor aggregated $112,31S,126.-
81. During the four years of Mr..
Hughes the total appropriations made
by the legislature and signed by the
governor aggregated $3.50, 1898, 066.53.
This was an increase of $3S, 074 ,940.3S.
The governor of New York has pow
err not vested in the president of the
United States. He can veto separate
items in an appropriation bill. Yet Mr..
Hughes exercised this power to SO
little effect that the appropriations for
the last year of his administration ex-
ceeded those of the last year of the
Higgins administration by more than
$4,000. 600.
The present Generalization of the
state finances began with the Hughes
administration. and when Mr.. Hughes
attacks the Wilson administration for
extravaganza he inevitably calls at
tention to one OF the weakest points in
his own political career.
MIR. Hughes invites the same kind OF
an answer when he attacks the presi-
dents appointments to office Mr..
Hughes is a good man and was a good
governor, but his appointments on the
whole were nothing to brag about His
political manager was Frederick c.
Stevens, the superintendent of public
works. Mr.. Stevens constructed for
Mr.. Hughes one of the tightest private
political machines that New York has
ever known, and this weapon was used
freely in MIR. Hughes warfare with the
regular republican organization.
Most of Mr.. Hughes appointees were
republicans of a mediocre type. The
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
The Daily Story
The Grand Promotor-By M. Quad.

then the landlord. a deputy sherry -
two husky men entered the room anu .ns
a legal paper was served on the MAJ
who read IL and replied:
Gentlemen, have you called IN a..
about Investments have large H.,
Of them and none that pay less tbsn
3 per cent
The landlord and the others pald n,
attention 10 this statement, but selzsS
the furniture and carried IL dow
stairs to the sidewalk The task va
quickly over There was only the ~
desk, an old swiyeled chair and tuo
common chairs with lame legs. Tbers
was also a small coal stove which ia
been deathly cold nearly all wintsr
The major was a man who felt thai 4,
was cheaper 10 be frost bitten than N
buy a quarter OF ton Of coal.
He made no objections to the rernov-
al OF the furniture, but followed down
stairs and calmly took a seat al his
desk and began writing out protest
The landlord and the men went awav
but crowd gathered and there was
block Of the sidewalk Pretty soon :
policeman came up and asked:
is this an eviction for nonpayment
OF rent
1T has that appearance" VIVA the
reply, But, il being a warm. balmv
day. / shall continue 10 do business "a
usual"
But you can't" was protested
This crowd has got 10 b. dispersed
II you don't find q room somewhere 70
move your things into I shall have 10
call the patrol wagon and have them
carried to the station house"
Il will look for a room, sir" said
the major. with proper dignity ell
find one | shall hope that you will
come around soon and let me show
you my list Of investments There "a
some that / sell to policemen only"
The major rose up and walked half
block and then to the shop where his
clothes cleaner did business He went
in and told the men how he was fixed
He was a German, and, having heard
his story, he said:
But you vhas owing me a bill Of "a
and | can't get her"
we will call il 49," said the major
with a liberal smile, and / will pay
you next week"
You always say next week when
comes about my bill"
But next week l shall probably sell
10000 worth of stock"
'Vhell, maybe you WILL" said the
cleaner, after taking two minutes 10
think it over. IF you vhas in my
shop I don't have 20 climb your stairs
und you can't go out by der roof when
you expect me to call"
And so Major Crofoot, grand pro-
moter and with millions Of money in
the bank or elsewhere, moved into the
humble shop and amid hanging suits
and the smell Of benZine is continuing
his joyous career.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
OUR BUSY SENATE.

1t was intImated IN the senate the
other day that congress may
sit until October. Just why such
protracted session is necessary may
not be plain on the face OF things. the
Kansas City Star comments. bur the
Congressional Record viii supply the
reason 10 anybody vino takes the
trouble 10 read il. Whole pages are
taken up with senatorial exchanges
that resemble nothing 20 much as the
sidewalk conversation Of TWO men
vino have nowhere 20 90 and with
plenty Of time Ia which to get there
Standing around whiting \ stick
in this way the senate listened for
O good part Of an afternoon, while
Mr. Penrose and Bfr. Stone twitted
each other with occasional Hags
thrown i'm by other senators Mr..
Stone twitJed Mr. Penr0se with be-
ing absent from The senate Mr. Pen
rose regretted he had not been there
To be entertained by Afr Stones
speeches. Mr. Stone ratorts with q
reference TO Mr.. Penrose's expensive
motor car. Mr. Penrcse retorts with 3
reference 70 democratic extrayagan
and cites an appropriation NJ 1925 zoe
for public building in Tucson. RTi1,.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
MR.. HUGHES OWN RECORD

World is by no means satlshed WIN
all of MIR. Wilson's appointments, put
they probably average better than Mr.
Hughes They certainly produce bet
ter results in the way of pubic ser
vice.
We have no doubt that Mr.. Hughes
would have been glad TO name better
men If he could have found them, Just
as we are certain that MIR. wilson
would have been glad to name better
men than some that he has appointed
to office: but a chief executive must
use the tools that are available. tie
cannot always have his own way. de
is forced to take conditions as he mas
them. not as he would like them TO De-
A president of the United States
must work with congress. He must
work with his party. He must know
when to sacrifice the small things IN
order to obtain the larger Dement'S 10
the country If he undertakes ruthless
ly to trample his party organization
underfoot. he will end as Mr.. Hughea
ended in New York, when the disgust
ed voters turned to Tammany-
The World has a low opinion OF
some of the deserving democrats"
who have been put into office by
President wilson yet we doubt II any
of them have proved so wretchedly
incompetent as Mr.. Hughes's highly
respectable public-service commission
which practically nullified the law so
far as the people of this city were
concerned.
1t is just as easy for Mr.. Hughes to
magnify the small plumbers of the VIII
son administration as it was for Mr.
Hearst 10 magnify the small blunders
of the Hughes administration. Yet no
honest man would deny that Mr.
Hughes wrought a great good to the
state of New York, and if Mr.. Hughes
were now less of partisan and more
of a Judge he would frankly admit
that President Wilson has proved him
self one of the great world leaders of
democracy in modern history.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14

Major Crofoot stock looking out Of
one of his office windows with his
hands thrust deep in his pockets and a
look of meditation on his face. He
was mediating about his landlord.
He was now $40 in arrears for his
room and board, and when he came
home TO dinner he might find his trunk
in the hall.
Then, too, here at his Office he ex-
pected every day to be bounded for
office rent long in arrears.
In the midst of his meditatiOns the
major felt a touch on his elbow, and
he turned around TO behold his land
lord with hand outstretched and TO
hear him say:
Major Crofoot, your back rent Of
this Office now amounts to $50 Come
down."
only $6O." smiled the major after
swallowing hard for half a minute.
Why, | thought it was near a hun
dredl 1t won't take me over five min
utes to fill out a bond in your name
| shall make one for $500"
NO bonds no checks-no promises
the cash in hand" warned the land
lord.
Have you lost confidence in me?"
asked the major, with a worried look
on his face.
Il lost it long ago, sir"
Il am sorry-very sorry. | was go
ing 10 fill you out a bond Of my Egg
Forcing company, and the bonds stand
at a premium, and you can take one
over to the bank and sell il at par and
carry the gold home in your pocket q"
mo bonds" repeated the landlord.
Well Mr. Blake, ! have just sent a
thousand dollar bill over 10 the bank
10 get changed. If you will sit down
for five minutes the boy will be back
Mr.. Blake sat down. There were sew
eral looks of doubt on his face. After
one minute he VISA uneasy and shuffled
his feet After two minutes he was
more uneasy and got up and walked to
the door and back. After five minutes
he looked out of the window to see if
the majors boy was coming on the
run with the handful of money.
Mr.. Blake waited for II minutes and
then rose and asked:
Major Crofoot, | believe you have
lied to me-"
Il am getting uneasy myself" was
the reply. DO you think il possible,
Mr. Blake, that the boy cribbed the
money and has run away with it?''
Il think it possible that this Office
will be vacant within an hour" And
Mr.. Blake stalked out of the room and
downstairs, while the major sat down
to his desk and said to himself with
great sigh of relief:
Well that is off my mind for an
other three months. Mr. Blake is not
the man TO climb four flights OF stairs
for few dollars back rent"
Forty minutes had passed away and
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
WHAT TO DO FOR YOUR
TREES.

Expert a vice on what TO do for
trees in midsummer is given TO its
members and the public by the Amer
lean Forestry association, as follows:
Spray fruit trees with bOrdO-lead.
Spray eims for elm leaf beetle with
arsenate of lead, one pound to ten
gallons Of water.
Spray for forest tent cateTpillars
with arsenate of lead, one pound to
ten gallons Of water.
Spray tussock moth and other leaf
eating insects with arsenate Of lead
one pound TO ten gallons Of water.
Examine the under side Of beech
leaves, and if woolly, aphis is pres
ent- Spray with whale oil soap, one
pound TO ten gallons Of water,
Examine evergreens, especially pros
trate jumpers, box, yew, etc, for red
spider, and If necessary spray with
whale oil soap, one pound to ten gal
Ions Of water.
Examine sycamore trees for blight
which produces d white, woOHy mass
on the under side Of the leaves and
causes them to curl and wilt If pres
ent, spray with bordeaux mixture, one
pound to eight gallons Of water
Examine peach trees for leaf curl,
and watch all the other trees Tor some
insect infestation, because this is the
time when the insects most commonly
appear.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
AND YET ADMITS HE HAS NO
PANACFAS.

Candidate Hughes despite the fact
that most Of his speeches on tour have
been devoted 10 lambasting and as
sailing the administration of Presi-
dent Wilson, soiemnly admitted at
Fargo, y. D.. that he had no pauaceas
10 offer. Il cannot f0reteI what I
should do to correct the nations evils"
he said. Il do not carry panaceas for
tie evils I know to exist. and I cannot
fsreteu what I should do TO correct
them. But if elected, I should devote
ny ability to serving the United
States"
All Of which goes TO adj new en-
phssis TO the Old adage that 1t is easy
enough to ind fault with The man who
ir doing things, but not so easy to
point better way.
Regular republicans managed the
meetings ana demonstrations At Fargo.
The pregressives had no share g. the
events The state organ iza-.an Of PRO-
gressives met in Fargo while Hughes
was making his speech a block away
and refuse to adopt a resolution in
dcrSing him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14

London--The sound of the big guns
at Ypres has been heard on rare occa-
sions in various parts Of London, occa-
sionally at a point in Essex county
80 miles away and repeatedly at
points in this country 125 miles from
the scene of firing, according to Mil
Ter Christy, widely known member
of the Royal Meteorological society
The speaker said that windows in the
Temple, huge building of law offices
almost in the heart of the city. were
ratified violently many times by the
Ypres guns.
Lloyd George, minister of munitions.
and Sir A. Conan Doyle, the speaker
added, were among those who had
heard the sounds.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14

"calamine lotion" which contained
something less than l per cent of phe-
mol. II was excellent as a relief for
itching in various skin eruptions. Caa
you tell me what that formula was or
something like it? / have lost the
prescription.
Answer Powdered calamine and
powdered zinc oxide. of each, one-half
ounce; glycerin and boraX, OF each,
two level teaspoonfuls and lime water
enough TO I'LL an eight ounce half
pint) bottle. To this may be added
one-half dram (one-half teaspoonfull
OF pure phenOl (carbolic acid Direc-
tons: Shake well before using, APP
ply by dabbing on skin with fingers
several times a day. II you can't OBJ
tain pure carbolic, use ounces OF the
; per cent carbolic solution ordinarily
sold in place of two ounces Of the lime
water and the strength will be abou.
/ per cent of phenoL
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
CANADIANS ARE IN THICK OF WAR

viving if they try to go or come from
the rear.
Five hours of this. Then at 1850 in
the afternoon orders To retreat did
arrive.
That officer from Toronto gathered
the remnants of his command under
the showers of shrapnel bullets and
in the midst of geysers from the high
explosives. Just as he was starting
the tornado suddenly ceased. This
meant the German infantry charge.
AS the Canadians started taking what
cover they could in a haIf-Obliterated
communication trench they had a
glimpse over their shoulders of the
Germans arriving. German rife and
machine gun fire followed them on
their way back to the support
trenches, taking final toll; then the
British guns turned their tornado on
the Germans in their new positions
and the support trenches blazed their
rife fire into German charges.
Another officer in another farm
hOuse-this one from British Column
bia- He was pleased with the coat he
wore when he went thrO 1gh a curtain
of fire A piece of she'll had cut a big
rent under the arm without even pen
Grating through his ur dershirt.
Some luck, eh!'' he said. Il had a
bunch that I would come through all
right when | started"
His orders were to go up in rein
fOrcement. He went One shell struck
in the midst Of a platoon and got only
one man. That was some luck" too.
Men fell, but the command went on to
the counter attack
Those who are. in the thick of it
certainly get it h IT." said another Of
ficer. Each com pany in the thick of
it thinks for the time being that it is
fighting the whole war It's casualty
list looks pretty bad But when you
take the losses of a division as a
whole you are surprised at the small
percentage"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
BIG REQUEST FROM RosE-BoUND FRIENDSHIP

brought about an acquaintanceship
with Mrs Palmer that, as the years
passed by, ripened into the warmest
friendship Mrs. Palmer's hobby was
ideal motherhood" and she i'm
pressed these ideas upon the mind of
her girl companion.
Finally the little girl moved from
Detroit to Chicago and later was mar
ried TO Clarence s. Boothby. In time
Thomas and Evelyn Boothby were
born, and to her babies Mrs. Boothby
applied the ideal motherhood" teach
ings she had learned from Mrs. Pal
neF.
The rose-born friendship between
the two women never Jagged and was
further cemented by frequent visits.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
CRIBBING.

An optimist, skinny, 1ong-waited,
loose-kidneyed, 40 summers. had lost
80 pounds in two years, and looked it,
She had been compelled to give up first
one thing and then another, because
everything she ate turned to gas" es-
pecially, she declared, eggs, cheese,
fat meats, bread, potatoes and sugar
The gas" she explained, pressed he
heart" She felt ravenously hungry all
the time but dared not eat enough to
satisfy her appetite. Her husband was
one first-class valetudinarian with
lots of ideas about the kinds of food
that agree and the kinds that don't
agree
Throughout the interview, and dur
ing several subsequent interviews, the
doctor observed the patient closely
Likewise he made her swallow the
stomach tube, analysed the gastric
juice, found the hydrochloric acid alb
sent-but placed no reliance upon
single test because he knew from eX-
perience that the first session with the
tube pretty nearly stops all digestive
processes from the psychic effect But
Two subsequent analyses show ed prac-
tically normal secretion An X-ray
meal showed no apparent trouble
The doctor finally spoke up: Now, my
dear madam, 1 have found the cause
of all your trouble. l have solved the
Conundrum and can promise absolute
relief-provided you have enough
courage and will obey TO the letter"
Then l must have an operation %
no. But you must do. as ! direct
in every detail, no matter how trivial
and silly you may think the treatment
it. Do you promise?"
Pomise? She would willingly stand
on her head on the town pump if tn
doctor ordered her to.
She was fitted with a light support
ing belt, for psychic effect. She was
given a strict diet, including hearty
vegetables and meat in specific guam
titles for every meal Finally, she
was instructed TO place cork be
tween the teeth and keep it there for
half an hour after each meal and 20
lie down upon a couch with the foot
raised on 14-inch blocks.
The first week she gained three
pounds. In two months she gained
20 pounds. In three months she was
around telling all the neighbors how
prayer and will power had restored
her health,
The cork stopped the "cribbing."
The woman had the not uncommon
habit of swallowing air. She would
swallow unconsciously every Few sec
onds till she had a stOmachful then
belch the gas" with great commo-
ton 1t is hard to swallow up hill
with your mouth open. In fact. il is
difficult 10 swallow down hill with
your mouth open.
Sometimes. YOU see, IL is better for
"A woman not 10 keep her mouth shut.
Cribbing sometimes accompanies
serious organic troubles. but in this
case the doctor first made sure there
was no organic trouble
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
fly IN C. 0. P. OINTMENT.

There are some republicans who are
not rickled pink over Mr.. Hughes per-
sonaI endorsement Of woman suffrage
One may read between the lines IL the
following from the Cedar Rapids Re
publican, the party affiiatiOn Of which
n implied by its name:
Even . clear thinker like
Hughes catches the tangie-foot
when he tries to dispose Of the
suffrage question. he said he
would be for it TO get rid Of it. But
now he has the others on his back,
and how is he going to be rid OF
tbem2 It's just one side or the
other and the politician who IS
looking for peace has another
guess coming. Reformers are al
ways Unsuitable
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-08-14
(Chicago Herald)

A rose playfully flung at the feet Of
a woman in Detroit many years ago
by a little girl brought that child
now a woman grown, $4,000 be
quest when the Detroit woman died
recently.
The woman who so generously re
membered the little girl of long ago
was Mrs. Lizzie Merrill Palmer, and
the recipient of her bounty is Mrs.
Clarence S. Boothby of La Grange,
who at present is in the east on an
automobile trip with her husband and
knows nothing of the beQuest.
It was little BERTHA Brown who
threw the rose, and the childish act