davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

YOUNG BUSINESS MAN, 81; worth
$4,000. Would marry eastern lady.
''Lewes' 57-4th St, San Francisco.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

Two-thirds of the worlds CORE
spondence is in the English language
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

M4NT 70 competent girl or
Of the summer at the shore; must mus be
able to cook no laundry; good wages
MIS-. H NJ Gesner. Groton Long Point,
4 SoI1n. jy15d
WANTED1--Women. Beat this; SIS
salary or so cents an hour for spare
guaranteed hosiery, cheaper than
International Mills, Dept SO, Norris
goWn. "a Jy16d
WANIED-Young man of neat ap-
pearance to work in store between
| to. .. s. Marsh. 46 Franklin street
WANTED Position by young
woman as book1zeeper or seenographer
= al esls 81 SpeClanceA wide knowledge OF
Tlish satisfactory references Address
Ste1osxap i1er. Bulletin GO. jyd15
CANVASsERs WANTED-To solicit
ssadq eaTI Tor res plants sr4bbeTfy
Year round employment. Perry Muir
SERIES Roch ester. N. Y. ESta bhshed 81
years. jy15d
wANTED! Quick hustler to travel
these TOWNS and surrounding country ::
Baltic. Groton. Hanover, Lebanon,
Lyme, Mantle, Mystic, Noank, Ston-
In i4s ssSf g4 Waterford Y Glen Bros vi 3 DO
EXCEPTIONAL OPPORTUNITY for
industrious man or woman to make
from 500 tao $500 per month in your
gieInity. Pleasant. legitimate and pro
land Sales Company 307 Atlantic St,
Stamford, Conn. jy15d
MARRY, IF LONELY, for results,
try me; best and most successful
strictly confidential; most reliable;
years of experience; desert options free
The Successful Club Mrs. Purdie
Box $50. Oakland, Calf. jy15d
ga; worth $4,000. Address (GIadam)
Mission Unity" San Francisco.
YOUNG BUSINESS MAN, 81; worth
.'Lewes" 57-4th St, San Francisco.
DARE ycu answer this.-Lone1y
Honorable! 574th ST., San Francisco.
Make GOOD LIVING in Real Els
tate Business Our Real Estate Ed
ucatOr- tells bow Real Estate deals
are made by successful 7?S rea! ,, estate t
sell; advertise; manage property
write insurance; about landlord and
tenant; real estate titles; legal forms !;
pages nicely bound. Only $1.0O; post
age prepaid. Your money right back If
you are not perfectly satisfied. Realty
Educator; Desk s, Station f; Wash
ingtcn, D. {. jy15d
LARGE MANUFACTURER wants
repr esentatiVeS to sell shirts, under
direct to homes. Write for free sam
pies. Madison Mills $50 Broadway,
New York City. jyl5d
PATENTS ADVERTISED FREE in
Popular Mechanics Magazine if Sc
cured through our Credit System. Send
sketch of invention. Free search. 100
Lage book free. Waters Co. 1928 War
der Bldg, Washington. D. c. jy15d
1.-THE WAY to an Independent in
come" Sell our line of nursery stock
on the commission basis. Watch your
income grow. We VIII help you.
Brown Brothers Company, Rochester,
y. Y. jy1,5d
AGGZNTS-For high grade article:
easy to demonstrate. Big profits.
Descriptive booklet and terms free.
Write, Staples Mfg. Co. Dept. IS, En-
field Me. jy15d
WANTED-A waitress at Nabrey's,
F57 Broadway. jy15d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

7
eligible lists for taIp5pointment- at Lake
vile School and Mansfield Colony; $23
per month at start, with. board, room
and laundry, and routine increase.
These lists win also be furnishes
Hospitals for Insane. Graduate and
practical nurses are in demand at State
tuberculosis SanatOriums. Send for
blanks and get in line. No expense.
State Civil Service Commission. Capt.
tel, Hartford, Conn.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

HELP WANTED in all departments
of the American Thread COmpany's
Willimantic mills. Apply at office.
Jel9d
WANTED-A registered pharmacist
or registered assistant. Apply with
references to Drugs. care Of The Bull
letin. je17d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

WANTED-NIen everywhere. Thirty
to seventy years Of age. Three to ten
dollars daily. Pay weekly Write The
Pequod Nursery Co.. Mertden, Conn.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

FOR SAIE--A few tons of hay, and
so acres of standing grass. A. T. Hoxie
(Lebanon). Yantic P. o.. P. F. D., Yam
tic, Ct. jy8SW
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

WANTED-Second hand furniture,
highest price paid A. Bruckner, 50
Franklin st. Tel 71T-3. may24d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

FOR SAIlE--SeveraI good aurornoblIes
at our price or yours they must be
sold, SO the price Is Incidental; Cadillac,
starter. All in tiptop shape; Jackson s.
tion; Buick, 1913. model II, 5-pasgen-
ger; Maxwell roadster, electric Lights.
roadster, $50 horsepower; Ford tour
ing car 1914; Mitchell truck, 1900
pounds capacity; talk with US and you
can do business. c. H Pellet, Dan
ialson. Conn. Phone. JySd
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

Minnesota has 1000, 900 acres
farm lands awaiting settlement.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

NANTED-A waitress at Nabrey'S,
81 Broadway. jy15d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

1.-THE WAY to an independent in
come" Sell our line of nursery stock
on the commission basis. Watch your
income grow. We VIII help you.
Brown Brothers Company, Rochester
y Y. jy15d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

AGl1NTS-For high grade article:
easy to demonstrate Big profits.
Descriptive booklet and terms free.
Write Staples Mfg. Co. Dept IS, En-
field Me. jy15d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

SECOND HAND furniture wanted. We
Fay the best prices for second hand
furniture. We buy and sell all kinds
of furniture, new and old. S. Zelinger,
Washington Square. Norwich, Conn
Tel 1925. je20d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

Oil production of Argentina last
wear amounted to 275,000 barrels.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15
THE KALEIDOSCOPE

PENNSYLVANIA mines last year Yields
ed 246. 797,7S4 tons of coal.
Almost every known variety Of iron
ere is found in Newfoundland.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15
TO RENT

FOR RENT-A nice large furnished
room. So Washington ST. jy15d
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

TO RENT-Lower and upper tene |
ment at 663 North Main St. Apply at /
office. The Norwich Belt Mfg. Co., Inc. |
jan15SW
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

TO RENT-F'urnished rooms; all
eonVen1ences; 80 Grove St Phone 1884.
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

TO RENT-One pasture. Jam es De-
Wolf Trading Cove. jySSTuTh
Norwich bulletin., 1916-07-15

FOR SALE-Greatest real estate bar
gain in Norwich; Buclzin CHAM home on
Washington St; 12-room house, most
substantially built which G9st over
and 4O-foot street. Price for residence
and the IS lots, $4,000. Address Real
Estate Exchange. New London. Conn.
je2ldaW
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-22

S THEDA BARA
/ by those who are not brOadminded,
or farsighted enough to realize am
benefting humanity by appearing in
pictures in which righteousness tri-
Umphs and vice is annihilated, peO-
pie have been coming appeIatiOns to
fit me.
AS soon as one appears in print my
managers receive a batch of letters
suggesting other and more terrible
ones.
Just the other day Mr. Fox for
warded me a letter written by a
woman in small middle west town.
The lady did not say whether she
was married or single.
But her grievance was that had
won the heart of the man she loves.
That he no longer thought her
beautiful.
That formerly his ideal type of
woman had been the blonde with
baby blue eyes and roseIeaf skin.
That now he raVed of daughters of
Spain, of Italy, of the sunny south, of
olive skin with a fine, transparent
quaIity-and midnight eyes.
To make long story short, my
accuser intimated that though her
sweetheart had appreciated the an
gelic woman-al angels are sup
posed to be bIondes-he now dotted
on the colOring of the daughters of
satan-au of whom are trOpicaIly
dark.
She ended by calling me a love
pirate!
There is just one kind of love I
cannot imagine myself coveting.
That is the love that must be ac-
quired by foul means. | am afraid
my meaning is not quite clear. When
say foul means" | mean either love
that is gotten by trick tactics that
trap the victim against his will, or
love that is the rightfUI possession of
an innocent person and is taken
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1916-04-22

BY THEDA BARA.
Written Especially for The Day Book.
Since my vogue upon the screen
has been denounced in some sections
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04
IT'S YOUR KIDNEYS

You have swollen feet and handsl
stiff, achy jointsl Sharp shooting
rheumatic pains torture you. You have
aching back, pain in the lower abdomen,
difficulty when urinatingl Look outl
These are danger signals. Trouble is
with your kidneys. Uric acid poisoning
in one form or another, has set in. 1t
may lead to dropsy or fatal Bright s
disease if not checked.
Get some GOLD MEDAL Haarlem
Oil Capsules Immediately. They are
an old preparation, used all over the
world for centuries, combining natural
healing oil and herbs, well-known to
physicians and used by thousands in
their daily practice. The Capsules are
not an experimental, make.shift "pat.
ent medicine, or "salt'', whose effect
is only temporary. They are stand.
ard remedy, and act naturally, gently
and quickly. But when YOU go to the
druggist, insist ON getting the pure,
original Haarlcm Oil in Capsules. Be
sure the name GOLD MEDAL is on
tho box, and thus protect yourself
against counterfeits.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04
STATE HOUSE NEWS


The Hammond Lumber company of
Mill City has notified the public ser.
vice commission that their platforms
ace badly congested and that unless
they can get ears witnin the next week
or ten days they will be compelled to
close down their plant, throwing be.
tween 500 and 600 men out of employ
ment.
The annual report of the Oregon
and California Power company, which
furnishes light and power to number
of towns in southern Oregon, has filed
its annual report with the public ser.
vice commission, The report shows a
deficit for the year of $l5I, ,276.0i, and
total deficit of sl27,S5l.2s.
Three annual reports were filed with
the public service commission this
morning. The Bend Water, Ligat 4
Power company shows surplus for the
year Of $l2,904.96. The Sutherliu
Light and Power company shows a de
ficit for tho year of si3a.47, but a To-
tai surplus OF $267 The Northwest
crn Electric company of Portland
shows surplus for the year of s96,
3ss.22, and a total surplus of $l09,
399.s0
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04
Putting Them to Use.

81 hear that you intend drilling Il
body of men SO as to be ready in ease
of war"
"I do.''
"Well, when you want to give them
treneh-digging practice, YOU might send
'em out to drain my land"
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

President Wilson some months ago
formally accepted for the United States
the ownership and custody of the birth
place of Abraham Lincoln at Hodgens-
Vile, KY, and September was the date
set for the formal taking over of the
property by the government, with APP
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04
o LINCOLN CRBIN l9ND MEMOR/qL .0

propriate ceremonies. The property
consists of the farm, with the cabin in
which Lincoln was born and the me
mortal erected by popular subscriptions,
which houses and protects the cabin.
Photographs show Lincoln. the cabin
and view of the memorial.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

Wife-Tom, you don't treat me to
ices half as often as you used to-
Hub = Marriage, my dear, makes
necessary the practice of frigid econ
omy.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

HIGH SCHOOL BOY-Senior, wants
work in exchange for board and room
IL care journal. sept4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANT TO TRADE-My laundry ice
plant building and lot for a small
Willamette valley farm Value Of
plant $4,000. Address A. T. Morrison,
Coquille, Oregon. sept3
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

CANNING PEACHES-75c and $100
Phone S3F5 or call at the orchard.
&. o. Boyce. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

HOP PICKERS-wanted at Eafe
Young's hop yard near McNary sta
tion, will haul pickers to and from
yard. D. H. Looney, Independence,
Ore. Rt. /. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

LOST-Pair rimless glasses with ear
chain, on South High street Reward
for return to this office. sept4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

DRESS MAKING-By day or take
home, Call 1245 Shipping st. Phone
2l93-J. sept3
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

SECOND HAND MEMS CLOTHING
jewemy, musical instruments, tools,
guns, ETC.. bought, sold and traded.
Capital Exchange, 337 Court st.
Phone 493. septl1
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-Man with family to pick
prunes, 80 acres, neavy crop. Phone
11F21. sept4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR SALE-A dandy bug body for
Ford ear at ll57 N. Com. st. phone
2365. sept7
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR SALE-Automobiles, one run a.
bout Brush, one Buick, one Chalmers.
Must be sold cheap. R. J. Herself
bach. 229 State ST. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

100000 FOR CTS-Anyone who can
sell my l60 acre ranch can get 200
dollars, cash; send Pet stamp for de-
seription and terms with your name
and address, plainly written. Luther
Myers, Salem, Ore. sept1
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04
Southern Pacific Is
Real Nice About Il

Conditions as to car shortage on the
Southern Pacific remain practically un-
changed. The only difference is an APP
parent disposition on the part of South
ern Pacific officials to keep the COM
planning elements in good humor as far
as possible by the writing of explana-
tory letters. An instance of this is
shown in letter received by the pub.
lie service commission in regard to a
complaint made by the G. II. & p. Lum-
Der company. ]. H. Dyer, assistant
general manager, accounts for the fail
ure of the lumber concern to obtain
cars for logging service on the ground
that the railroad company has been com
PEELED to withdraw number Of ears
from the logging service in order to
take care of the finished product.
General Manager Scott of the South.
ern Pacific company has written the
public service commission another let
ter, but makes no reference to car short
age matters. The letter is protest
against the demurrage rates in Ore
gon, in which he says that under the
present rates the railroad company se-
cures no substantial returns, either in
way of earlier release of shipment or
collection Of demurrage The public
service commission is entirely helpless
in this matter.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR RENT-Furnished home of 6
large rooms, 11a blocks from state
house, all modern conveniences and
hot water heat. Phone 469. sept4.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FURNISHED-Rooms and housekeep-
ing apartments, rates reasonable,
close in, 160 Court. #
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-Prune pickers, men for
drying, good crop. L. S. Arnold, Rt.
4, box SO, phone 65Fll. sept3
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

An electric alarm has been invented
that sounds when a woman's handbag
is opened by an unauthorized person.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR RENT-Furnished or unfurnished
sleeping rooms, office rooms and
housekeeping rooms, reasonable rates
W. II. Norris, Rec. Hubbard bldg.
Room 304. II
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR RENT-Fhrnished housekeeping
rooms, new modern house. Phone
745'J or call after $3.50 p. m. $40 N.
Church. sept15
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

GRADE HOLSTEIN-Cows for sale;
milk records furnished; moderate
price. Write D. R. Murphy, Turner,
Rt. l, septic
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR SALE-3A half truck Studabak-
er wagon. viii trade for heavier
wagon, cordwood or stumpage. 27s6
Lee. Phone 1927. II
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

A Observation-Disclosures home for
rent, modern throughout, fire place,
built in furniture, fine lawn, situated
on Fairmount Hill, reasonable to the
right party. Call ll90 S. Liberty or
phone 2022. sept7
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FARM FOR RENT-l54 acres, good
land and good buildings. W. H. Gra-
benhorst & Co., 275 State st. sept4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR SALE-Canning peaches. Imlah
Fruit Farm, half mile north of west
end of steel bridge on Wallace road,
bring your boxes. Phone 52Fl1. Jas.
lmlah. sept20
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WOOD FOR SALE-In timber close in,
John II. Scott, 404 Hubbard, Phone
254. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

Journal Want Ads Get Results You
Wsnt-Try one and see.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR SALE-Dressed beef by the side
or quarter, and cents. Will de-
liver to hop yards. Phone 1856 w.
sept6
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

erty The object OF democracy is to
transmute these into the life and ac.
tion of society, the self-denial and self
sacrifice of heroic men and women will
ing to make their lives an embodiment
of right and service and enlightened
purpose. The commands of democracy
are as imperative as its privileges and
opportunities are wide and generous.
Its compulsion is upon us. 1t will be
great and lift n great light for the guild,
ance of the nations only if we are great
and carry that light high for the guild.
ance of our own feet. We are not worthy
to stand here unless we ourselves be in
deed and in truth real democrats and
servants of mankind, ready to give our
very lives for the freedom and justice
and spiritual exaltation of the great
nation which shelters and nurtures us. -
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

Use the Journal Want Ad Way.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR RENT-Modern eight room bun
galow, with garage. 1912 North Cap
itol. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

PEACHES-Come to the orchard with
boxes or phone your order to SOFIA.
n. C. Petteys, y miles north on
Wallace. sept9
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

CRAWFORD PEACHES-For canning
delivered as you want them. Phone
9l0 j. sept4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-Lady solicitors to work in
Salem. Apply at ITO So. Commercial
st. Il
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

6 YEAR OLD-Driving horse for sale,
weight 1000 lbs, gentle for women.
Phone S9F2. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-At once 100 hop pickers.
Good hops and camping ground, on
Oregon Electric line. Phone 22l0W.
sept4
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR RENT
ADS under this heading 1c word.
Read for profit; use for results.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

TRESPASS-Notices for sale at Jour
nal office. II
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

MEN WANTED-For picking peaches.
Phone 6F3. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-At once good milk cow,
1910 Rose Ave, or phone 90S. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04
NEW TODAY

HARRY-window cleaner. Phone 76s.
sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

FOR SALE-Cheap, mans bicycle,
good condition. Phone 92S2W. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-Man to drive team, hauling
wood. Phone 692. E. A. Way. sept5
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

TREsPAsS NOTICES FOR sALE-as
journal office.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1916-09-04

WANTED-10 hop pickers at Walling
yard. Phone 64F3. B. r. Oliver. sep5
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-03-13
JEREMIAH

jeremiah was a.prophet, and he always prophesed
the deadliest and saddest things, until the day he
died. He told the land Of Judah of the storm that
was to come. Therell be doings in Jerusalem he
said, ''to make things hum! You cannot dance the
night away unless you pay the bill. The violinist
will collect. You've got to take your pl!''
The people said, ''You make us tired! Why don't
you hire a hall?' Wherever Jeremiah spoke there
was no crowd at all. He stood upon packing box,
and tried to draw crowd. He said, ''I'm here to
prophesy. Give ear, and be not proud! You've got
an awful rotten town. It's time you should reforn
The enemy will come this way and take the town by
storm! The city hall will be laid low the courthouse
will burn down, there won't be left nickle's worth
of unspoiled goods in town."
N one loved Jeremiah, he was often asked to
blow and no one stopped to listen to his prophesv of
woe lie prophesied correctly; all things happened
as he said but he didn't say, ~ told you 500 By
that time he was dead
CHARLES B. DRISCOLL.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-03-13
The Tacoma Times

Human and VITAL terse and newsy; fair to all and
everastingy for the ''under dog;" constructive
force in the community believer in IDEALS but with
the realization that facts are fact and that theories
and practcability often but sadly blend-that's the
spirit which guides The Times.
II we fail completely to hit the mark. just chalk it
up to our human frailty. AS we go along we'll find
way to do better. The Times knows that each day
1T is growing in strength and popularity
And as we are the better taken, the more we realize
that we have big list of improvements to fulfill
We want to hear of our Mistakes Just as much as
when we do something that meets with popular ac-
cord
If you wish to criticize, don't fear but what your
say will be appreciated Newspapers do their share
of criticism. They should be handled Just the same
by the public Generally, we believe we are on the
right track. When you think we aren't let lis know
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-03-13
A Nice Fishy Grin

We think we pleasant grin on the familiar
features OF the Octopus the proposition for ex-
port duty gasoline. When that proposition is
made into law, the Octopus will get off two real
good things, towit:
To the foreign consumer: "An export duty hay
ing been placed on products, we will have to
raise the prices of same to you. Thank you''
To the American consumers can export duty
having been placed on products, we will have to
raise the prices of same to you. Thank YOU
Mr.. Aesop will please excuse us while we perpe-
trate fable.
There was once Man who had large Tank to fill
He ran into it a 4-inch pipe Pretty soon Very
Great Refomer came along and told the Man that
his Tank would fill twice as fast, if he had two 4-nch
pipes emptying into it. The Man tried it and was
much Pleased.
Moral: There are twice as many feathers on two
geese a goose
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1916-03-13
NzEs4Y1zzW
KiHHkHz1>zlcn>/M

For nearly an hour the sales
man had been dilating on the
marvels of the motor-car he was
trying to sell.
And the price of the car is
81 ,000,' the customer murmur-
ed, thoughtfully. Does that in
clude everything?"
"Yes-oh, no; of course, the
lamps are extra"
Lamps extra" said the GUS
toner, sharply. But they are
shown in the illustration.
My dear sir, so is a very beau
tiful woman shown riding in the
car" said the salesman, smooth
ly, "but we do not give lady
with every cart"
A CHANCE FOR INVENTORS
Invent an alarm clock that will
wake up the maid without arous.
ing the entire family to take the
place of the present clocks that
arouse the whole family without
disturbing the maid.
Scare-head in southern news.
paper: Man Arrested For Try.
ing to Blow Up Theater." Folks
of the present day have fine
chance to elevate the stage.
Same publication flashed an
other for the book: Girl Faints
When Told Her Mother Married
Again" She couldn't go a step
father.