The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-10-20
A Rip Van Wrinkle
Story
BY OSCAR COX


In the Catskill mountains. in America.
Like his progenitor, he was on a height
and could look down on a broad ex-
panSe of country. 1t was the same
season as that in which he had COM
menced his slumber, so he didn't realize
that he had slept couple of decades.
What peaceful scener' he re-
marked. 1T makes me feel like taking
another nap"
Hearing a buzzing sound above. he
looked up.
MY good gracious" he exclaimed.
Have whales from the sea got into
the air."
A Zeppelin was swimming along laz-
lily. Mr.. Stone watched it till it passed
out of sight, wondering what it could
be. Beneath him, running from north
east to southeast, was an i'll defined
zigzag line. He didn't remember hav-
ing seen it when he went to sleep
While he was wondering how it came
there he saw flock of birds rising
from the other side of hill and come
toward him. AS they approached they
grew larger and larger, and when they
passed over his head he saw men on
them.
Great Scottr' he exclaimed. What's
the matter with me? First, the world
seems turned upside down and whales
swim where the birds should be. Next.
men ride by on the backs of birds"
| A party of men in uniform rode up
in an auto to point near where he
J was gaping, and one of them brought
binoculars to bear on the country be
low. They were German general
and his staff. Stone spoke French
pretty well and hailed them.
Hello, you fellows! What are you
doing cavorting in uniform in these
peaceful times?'
The men looked at him curlously.
and one of them asked him in German
who he was and what he was doing
there. He said he was an american
on tramp: then. rising. he was be-
ginning to descend the declivity when
one of the officers asked him where he
was going.
"To Paris" was the answer.
Il hope you'll succeed in doing So :
was the reply. We've been trying tc
get there for a year and haven't &C
complished the feat yet"
The American started down the de
clivity.
"See here, my man, do you want tt
walk straight to your death?"
"How can | walk to my death coins
down into that quiet country?'
whats the matter with you? Den
you see that zigzag line down there!
"Yes, and I can't make out what i
means"
at means 100000 or 100000 o
men. armed with all the Implement
of modern warfare"
"What are they doing thereT'
They're at war;"
"You don't mean to tell me tina
there's war going on down in thos
peaceful meadows and slopes"
At that moment came the roar of
hundred guns from segment of tn
line not a mile long.
whats that?" asked Stone
"Cannon. you fool"
Stone didn't hear A light breeZ
was setting westward A brow
cloud arose and drifted with 1t.
"What's that?'
"Asphyxiating gas"
"What's it for?'
"There are millions of French so
diers down there. That gas is intende
to poison them so they can't fiGh
Wait minute and you'll see charge.
Bv this time there was so much nols
that 1t was useless to ask any NOR
questions. and the Yankee simply gal
ed He heard the charge and say
some of If. but the foes were so nea
together that it seemed to him like
gigantic football game wherein tn
two teams were deadlocked. and wher
ever they moved they left heaps c
men living still. Gradually the di
died down. and the Yankee found
\ possible TO make himself heard again
"See here" he said. did those so
diers get vomited out of the bowel
of the EARTH
"Thev came out of the trenches.
"Trenches! What are they
/ Don't you know anything abor
war;"
Yes. my father was in the gred
/ war between the states in Amerlci
I'VE heard lot about war from hin
Rut that was war of men, not
rabbits. He was in the battle of &c
tvsburg. the biggest of the war, TheI
H were a couple of hundred thousan
men engaged. The line must haV
been several miles long"
"Oh. give US a rest about your Anne
lean battles. There are three or lot
millions of men in that line and It
200 miles long"
"Whewr
flock of aeroplanes was seen
the distance The general and d
staff manifested some trepidation an
descended the hin rearward TO see
cover.
ii whpl