The Washington times., 1916-09-11
Bald Heads Declare G. O. P. Is
OOerrun by, Fiery Statesmen
Congressman Oakley Apprehen-
sive Of Lead Taken by Men
Of Hirsute Achievements.
When IL a man really bald7

When IL a man really bald7
Why. when he has q bald spot, OF
course. but then comes the question that
the Bald Head Club of America tried to
solve. How large must the diameter OF
that spot be before the man is bald!
Any bare spot of less exaggerated diam
eter places the owner still In the class
or fur-bearing animals. He cannot De q
member of the Bald Head Club OF
America, perhaps the most unusual or
ganization at large In the nation
The head of this organization whicn
mas declared a relentless war on all
hair restorers is Congressman +. Davis
10 proud Of his eligibility to the club.
and has made many boasts Of II.
Unlike many new Congressional meen-
bers. Mr.. Oakley has dislike to the
ever he does, his words are brief and to
the point. However. he was moved to
utterance recently In the House cloak
room when he saw a grave menace star
ing him In the face-or on the bald spot.
It was q group of Republican bald
heads who listened to the impassioned
defense of the liberties Of the balds,
which the president of the Bald Head
Club Of America gave.
Bald Heads Resent Neglect.
''0entlemen." he began, IT have lis
tened during the weary days Of this
speeches and wearisome orations. The
oIocinsdays Of this session have been
~rhis afternoon. while meditating
nDon the Issues of this important cam
palsu. It occurred to me that In at
Least onS great issue. the Republican
hAs not taken the Bald Head Club Of
America into its confidence, and a
eoomidable rival threatens the organi-
S4tion. We have not only nominated
vs have folioWId the ieadership Of
6sep.r tnnd and st.fford ns' of '0s wssonsln s%nGn
NTH occasionally Incidents from Dali
Hn{,E % Masss ss chusetts hts t., and Hopwood
The advent Of Jim Ham Lewis and
GTclons Davis has seemed to mark the
limit to which hirsute adornment
could 80 IN the national arena. but
epe Republican management has gone
them ten-fold better and actually the
wDole Republican program Is turned
ever to bewhiskered Statesmen.
Reputation at Stake.
"Baid heads. look out! For your rep
utation for brains. humor, and state
craft will be obliterated from the ma
tional scene unless you bestir your
selves In the campaign Of the future.
1t 10 not for you to waste your time
in idle recriminations at this slight
un0n, the the, Club but to strive in noble
The sentiments Of the president of
the club were received with q full
rscosnition Of their grave import by
They reaiised that their snsmies. IL ; the
whole hairs" had put one over on
them this campaign.
why. We can't even put Hughes on
Claimed ens wd'inp impp.tisn,ly ss one of them s1-
But even If Mr.. Hughes IL ineligible.
there 10 one Republican President who
has come into the ranks Of the bald
heads: That Is former President Taft.
think that he stands a fine chance Of
getting in." stated President Oakley, "for
inch spot.
ing much progress toward a membership,
but while there's life there's hope"
The Bald Head Club holds a banquet
every year at Winsted. Conn, near which
It was originally organized. One OF the
features OF this banquet II the way II
10 served.
New-Fangled Lighting Scheme.
Tho lights from the ceiling are reflect
ed sharply from the glossy and highly
polished crowns Of tho members. At
the plato Of each man 10 an array Of
bottles. Tho contents of these bottles
ar chair Yestorers. Hair restorer compa-
MES all over the country mako Q point
of sending large supplies OF their hair
vfgor to the banQuets.
At certain stage Of the banquet. when
tho cookies Of the hearts Of the bald
heads have been warmed and the flood
gates Of their wrath against their loss
OF top fur brought to the surface, a spec
tator can see them taking the bottles and
putting the magic fluid on each oher's 5
heads and vigorously rubbing II in. II
Is considered a Joke par excellence.
Tho annual banquet Of the Bold Head
At last years application Of hair food.
Congressman Oakley was elected as the
chief bare-hoad Of tho club He is very
proud Of IT.