American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1916-10-05
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry.ce Round.

VI III "
lection. Four year agone he was agin
II, for II was agin the constychooshun'
Now that he is for 1t, that immortal
Instrument has also changed Its
mind. He makes me head shwim.
But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dimycrats, the Passyfsts
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fght'-they've all been on
the Merry-go-round. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're a good man.
but We make me dizzy says Bryan
leppin' from the Hobby Horse and run
min for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrit at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
THROWN him Il Cocked-f1at iv the vim
tage of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL says Garri-
son. How does II suit3' he axes,
"'Fine,' says Wudthrow, 'barrin' a
few changes Yen redraw It, he
says, to provide says he, 'volun-
tary universal service In Il Federal
Milishy,' says he, 'conthrolted be the
states says he; AN recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion.' says he. 1t
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe BOTH he
says; an the %ammynition,' says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay, be-
fore ! decide the daytales, for It's me
Jooty to kape an open mind says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me OF,
says Garrison. Are We crazy or am
II Garrison means, lnyin' Of his back
an gain wildly AT. tn sky. God bless
ye,' says Wudthrow. Nv II near-real
raygrit at losin' you he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry
GO-Round plays n side step.
"F'what lv the NavyH' says kitchin.
1t shud be thruy adequate lvry-
where says the Great ldaylist, 'ex-
cept In Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and in st. Louey,
where II shud he the biggest in the
world. Well be none e~xthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bill yen pass,
say he.
"'But this same is the Raypubli'
cans bill, says Kitchin starin'. Yen
20 an pass It, says Wudthrow, pound
Ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
| dream says Kitchln. If ! ivel
drank. I'd t'ink | was boozed,' says
Kitchin In n t%hremblin' Vice. And h,
falls of.
"'How about the Army bill1' X
Hay.
Thorough an instant preparation
for defpse must be the wurd, say
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in hi
eye.
90 have here u bill, says Hay, pro
vidin' for an Increase " i've hundthe
men u year for twinty year he says
AN nmynishun for six hours ackshun
he say twill make MS safe frol
: madagascar, measles, muckrakin
milit-rism and marital intidelity,' h
says, AN wen catch Willy before h
dies NV he doan't die before we cate
him. says Hay.
"'Embrace me- says Wilson. %
Hay-afther all preparedness Is
matther iv The heart an not of gun
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give Y
II jobf' he uXes stoppin' short Hike.
"rDlvil II wan, says Hay. Thin
says Wudthrow shnkin' the both |
a Hays hands cordial like, for yer patr
ntic service In so bravely slpportii
me policies he says in all he
phrases he says, 4 make Il Judge
- ye'he.' says he, 'as well as yer frin
f that ye put In the Joker, says IL
a Prisidlnt. 'Howly Saints says III
+. preparation Sinitors.
"A "'Ph'what does this mean Mt a
A. nt allY' they axes I've the wa
n thrack mind says the Presidlnt, a
II We go all through me train iy though
d before We come to the pork car sa,
N he. Are We on?' axes the Apostle
Common Counsels.
Were on says the Sinitors, IA
ii ing Off. An the Merry-Go-l Round pla.
"a n Wilson Waltz. (Which We kno'
lawn, is wan step forward, two steI
back. hesitate an sidestpp). An r
N multy goes out lo spread the gil
IN lidln's that the preparation p'rade W
n be led be the Presidint IN person.
ID "'IInw does he save his facef" ask,
Mulumphy.
"\Vid his month" responded Finn
e. gan dryly.