The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-02-05
On the Spur
of the Moment
A Wholesale Victory.
BY ROY k. MOULTON.

4 Wholesale Victory.
1t really took a lot of sand to ask for
Araminta's hand.
l had stage fright so bad / shook just
like aspen leaf
Though twas a job requiring nerve 1 did
Not not let my purpose s05 sW thn 20,
quite beyond belief
Her father was misanthrope by reputa-
Was offered me by anyone who knew
his crusty ways
He looked so fierce my face got hot and
got scared and quite forgot
The speech that / had practiced on so
faithfully for days.
| suffered and stammered till the old man
thought / had chill.
And seemed inclined to help me on and
have the matter done.
Before l could quite understand. he'd
grasped Inc warmly by the hand,
And then l knew oh, joy of joys, that
| at last had won.
He really loosened up and smiled just like
happy child.
1t was the first time he had done a thing
like that in years.
He was so very gracious that 1 thought
that l could smell a rat.
I'm not Il superstitious man, but he gave
me some fears
The wedding bells rang gaily and the pres
ents were just simply grand.
I'd won my Araminta and the world
seemed glad and gay
1t was not like nv luck bit. l thought
there was some catch in it.
1t didn't seem as though it could be any
Then the awakening was due. I'd won my
Araminta true.
But it seems that I'd also won her father
and her mother
They're living with us in our flat for good
and then, not only that.
But we have also with us now her sister
and her brother.
Fred Kcister Says:
One of our exchanges says that a
Colorado postmaster who was de-
tected in the act of hugging a lady
in the postoffice, was reported to the
department at Washington and his
dismissal requested. A reply was
received to the effect that there was
hfbited postmaster from hugging a
woman who wanted to be Rugged so
long as it did not interfere with the
discharge of his duties. And that
reminds us of one time. when we
were postmaster of this burg, the
wife came in the front door just in
time to Sc our encircling arms about
swell bit of calico. Did she notify
the department? Not so you could
notice it. When she got through with
us she notified the driver of the am
bulance.
The Modern Way.
Lights turned low, they confess
Their romance. She SAYS Yes"
Date is named. cards sent out.
Soon they're in marriage bout.
Friends all say: Perfect match.
She's a queen: he's a CATCH
Things all right for a while.
He's for clubs, she's for style.
Chorus girl soon he sees.
Sends her flowers, just to please.
Wife finds out. Doesn't care;
Goes on trip everywhere
Lawyer starts then. of course,
Poor wife's suit for divorce.
Husband fails to appear
In the court. He's not near.
Get divorce without flaw.
They both yell: Hip, Hurrah,''
AlimOny paid each week
Now they re friends, so to speak.
Proof.
1t was rush hour in a local cafe
terra, one of these quick lunch places
where you help yourself and grab a
chair and use the arm of the chair
as table. A rush feeder grabbed Il
slice of pie and COPIED out chair
Then he remembered that he needed
coffee and he dashed over to the
service counter When he returned
with his coffee his chair was occupied
by another hurry-upi diner
Excuse me-" said the first man.
but that is my chair"
How do You know it is your
chair?' demanded the occupant in a
surly tone.
Because I can prove it," stated
the first man.
How can you prove it?" asked the
occupant.
by the seat of your trousers" was
the reply. You are sitting on my
pie"
Not at All Unlikely
Germany reports a serious decline
in the birth rate. Among the other
sins this war has to answer for is
taking the pop out of population