davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
SEX OF MINcE PIE is
QUESTIONED in WISCONSIN

Brentwood. Wis.-The sex Of a
mince pie IS the question which has
been submitted TO the state game
warden's department at Madison, in
view OF the suspected violation here
1of the provisions CT the game law for.
bidding the slaughter Of female deer
and prov ding that all deer ~carcasses
must bear evidence Of the sex.
Warden Hubert. hearing that deer
had been slaughtered In this vicinity.
,.raided a home where he found the
family making mince meat He
placed them under arrest and wired
Madison for instructions. Meanwhile
he is ~suppress,ng the names OF those
arrested, fearing suit for false arrest
If the game warden rules that mince
pie is neuter.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
|AblvcE TO BOY CALLING
DAD "THE OLD MAN,

m=N15Es E-N Hfs4e
1chabod, my son. methought !
heard you speak of your father this
morning as "the old man." You are
Is years of age, are you not
Just so.
That is the age when callow youth
has its first attack of bighead. You
imagine at this moment that you
know it all.
/ observed by the cut Of your trou-
|sars, the angle of your hat, the tip
Of your head, the flavor of yer
breath, the style of your tcothpicl
shoes and the swagger of your walk
that you are badly gone on yourself
This is an error Of youth which
your uncle can overlook, but it pains
him sorely to hear you speak In dis
respect of n you should never men
ton save by the sacred name, ia
lther."
He may not be up to your style II
the modern art OF making a fool q
himself, but ten to me he forgets
more in a week than you will evel
know.
He may not enjoy smoking gutter
~snipes chopped fine and enclosed II
delicate tissue paner but he hal
borne a good many@hard knocks fol
your sake, and is entitled to all thu
reverence your shallow brain cal
muster.
BY and by, after you are through
knowing 1t all and begin to lear1
something, you will be ashamed T
look In the glass where the foolkille
kept himself when you were ripe TO
1.-THE sacrifice.
And then, when the "old man,
grows tired OF the journey and stop
Ito rest, and you fold his hands acros'
his bosom and take a last look at
face that has grown beautiful i
death, you Will feel a sting Of regre
that you ever spoke Of HIM IN p
grossly disrespeetful a manner; an
when other sprouts of imbecility us
1.-THE language that SO delighted you y
1.-THE germinal period of manhood, yo'
will feel like chasing them With
thick stick and crushing their kun
to see If there is any brain.tissue 70
s.de.-Robert J. Burdette.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Local happenings

Mrs. Peter Erickson and two daugh-
tiers went to WATERFOWL last Thurs
day to spend the holidays visiting
with relatives and old home friends,
Lake Preston Tines.
Misses. Grace. Violet and Myrtle
Franklin Of Waterfowl, were over
Christmas guests at the home of Mr..
and Mrs. II. B. Gaylord, returning
home this Wednesday evening.-Estel-
line Tribune.
Miss Ida Osmann, from NE!5atertown,
visited a few days with her sister,
Mrs. Herman Reoh. She will spend
the holidays with her folks at Iro,
quois, and from there she leaves Jan
uary LIST for Chicago where she will
finish her course in the nurses train.
ing school.-Ws Ilow Lakes News.
The Misses Aloha Thompson and
Freda Dellsaan Of WATERFOWL. who
We're operators In the local telephone
Office Tor Two weeks, have returned to
their homes and the yacanc es. at the
Office are being filed by Misses Dora
Dean and Manila Pederson.-Cnark
Courier.
James Finley is doing quite a bust.
ness here these days baling fax straw
and shipping to the tow mill at Wa,
tertown. He has shipped four carloads
up to this writing and has several
more carloads in sight to bale and
ship. His plans are to go to the farms
where the straw is piled and bale it
on the premises. and he pays one dol.
lar per ton for the straw. AT the
present time he has his machine in
the vicinity of Brandt, where he has
considerable work for 1t. He gets
$3.50 per ton for the ba!ed straw pro
duct on track at this station and in.
tends to continue the business during
the winter months. Clear Lake
Courier.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06

FOLEY.

The new year owned upon us with
the first real blizzard Of the season.
Mr.. II. Kerssen returned from Min.
neapolis on Saturday, where he spent
a few dys on business and visiting.
Miss Lucia Dean and the Misses
Loesch were Sunday visitors In Wa
Itertown.
Mrs. Ralph Leisure is spending the
week In Waterfowl to ssist in the
care Of her brother, Lyman, who is
reported as getting along fine at the
hospital.
Mr.. and Mrs. H Schuelke. Mr.. and
Mrs. Del Martin mad the Misses Mrga-
ret, Alice. Julia and Catherin Loesch
and MI. Baumberger were sunday
visitors at the home OF MI. and Mrs.
win Dean.
Fiss Charlotte Kimberly OF Estel-
line. gpent q few days Of the past
week here visiting at the home Of
her sister, Mrs. Geo. Lewis.
who was called to Wisconsin by the
serious Illness Of her mother.
Miss Anna Schrtck Bas 4 visitor
with # ends at Hazel from Friday I'M
it'll Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. a Hemp and family
Mr.. and Mrs, Sylvester Wegner and
Mrs. John Cook were Sunday visitors
at the James Cook home.
Miss Julia Canty spent the pasl
week as the guest Of her sister, Mrs
y. e. O,Briens
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
WOULD TRADE PHILIPPINES
FOR NEAR HOME COLONIES

Washington, d. C.--Charles IA.
Sheriff., former United States mn.
lister to the Argentine republic, In an
address here last night advanced the
suggestion that the United States
might strike some bargain with Eu-
ropean nations and Japan whereby
American possession Of the Philip
pines would be relinquished II the
Old World nations would give up their
few remaining colonial possessions
in the western hemisphere. Mr.. Seer
5rill was celebrating upon the views
which he expounded some time ago
to the effect that the Monroe doc.
itrine should be completed, by having
the United States purchase and set
free all existing European colonies ! n
the New World, except Canada. which
is already self-governsng.
In his address. which was delivered
at a banquet given by the Carnegie
Foundation to the American institute
OF International Law and other SO
eieties MI. Sheriff. said that to make
sure of a continuing peace on the Pa
ciic, the United States muf act as
through the Monroe doctrine, It asked
others to do. For nearly 4 century,
he said, the United States had preach
ed TO all the outside world against
interference with the affairs Of this
hemisphere, and peace On the Pacific
could not be assured until Japan was
convinced that what we preach on the
eastern shores Of that ocean we are
willing to- practice on the western.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
sTlRs LONDON.
Berlin Enjoys Wife Not Popular
London-Rer!in Fura Better.

London, Dec. 24.-The departure
for Berlin of Mrs. julius G. Lay, wife
OF the American consul-general ait the
German capital, has ended a peculiar
situation in social London which re-
suited from the spread of gossip re-
garding Mrs. Lays sympathies In the
war.
Mrs. Lay came to London recently
to purchase furniture for her Berlin
residence. During her stay she was
the guest of Ambassador and Mrs,
Page in Grosyenor square.
The start Of the trouble Is said to
have been an innocent discussion Of
1.-THE relative excellence Of the furs sold
lin Berlin and London. Mrs Lay, q g
Icording to the story, %contended EN-
phatically that the skunk fur sold IN
Berlin was superior TO that sold In
London.
From this it was but a step to max
ling further comparisons Of Berlin
and London and the English women
found Mrs. Lays frankness unpleas-
ant. Another cause for resentment
had It's origin in q report that Mrs.
Lay called German Processes by their
Christian mi
She was denounced In private as "a
German agent abusing English hos
pitality under the protection Of the
IAmerican diplomatic corps
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Pat, Mike and the Mutton.

rs that you, Pat?"
ut was yesterday. and will be to,
morrer, SO. bedad, it's loikely enough
ii is today. And is that Mike?"
TITS doubtful that | sometimes am
but people won't believe me when J
tell them ] am not"
That's a nice lot Of sheep We have
I'm not d~isagreein' with We"
How many have YET"
Sure, Olive never counted"
well. well, it's the sthrange mar
We are. And have We no notion. then?
.Begorrah, OF have a notion thai
il OF had 36 more O them dear sheer
Old be 4s short OF three times the
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Not Always.

II supp New Years v is q reg
ular harvest me for YOU walters"
said the out-ofytdwT visitor. gig ne
surveved the gay lei In an uptown
restaurant
sometimes IL is. and then again.
sometimes ii isn't" replied the va
81. You see, some Of the parties we
serve get SO darned hilarious that
they forget their own names, and 80.
of course. they can't be expected td
remember the waiter.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
KICK ON WILSON Plan.
Taxing Of Gasoline Engines Haisino
1in Protest from the People.

1ie Pro,test IRON the People
Washington. b. C~.-IIouss demo-
crYs have decided to ding BY the
beard ii Of Pres dent Wilson's sug
g~estions for raising revenue. It is
his tentative plan for taxing internal
combustion engines. now in institu
ON on farms throughout the coun.
try.
Congress began to hear from the
country. Just as oon as the pIesi-
dents message was printed. Every
farmer who Owned a gasoline engine
with which he operated his fodder
cutter. his separator, his churn, or
pump, was up in arms.
The response to the presidents sug-
gestton was SO instantaneous and Wig.
|orcusly engative~-particularly from
the farmers who added their voice to
tho expected howl from the autorno-
bilists-that administration leaders In
congress decided 1t was political ex-
ipSu-CuVy w uAop ihS OPosSu 49,
plan at once.
Congressional leaders with an eye
Ito the farmers, vote next year, as
well as the votes Of automobilists, de-
lcided It would be better to shelve the
engine tax. Another factor in tbs
decision, 1t was uilderstood, ds The
widespread use Of automobiles as farm
vehicles.
The proposed tax on gasoline fs
still an issue. Certain members pro-
Tess to see in the recent rise In gaso-
line prices an effort by the Standard
Oil comaany to create sentiment
against this plan of raising revenue,
The gasoline user, now paving from
20 to "a cents a gallon, according 70
locality, would raise a terrific roar II
the government proposed to add two
or more cents a gallon to this price
as a tax.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
KANSAS MAY GET BOYS
AS 4TELERHoNE GiRLs'

Topeka, KanrTraining schools fcr
men ribbon clerks. Plain and fancy
sewing 81 Nmale dressmakers. Men
mangIers insNEthe ~laundrias. opportun-
titles for ambitious young men I'M over
all factories Hello beys IL the tele-
phone Offices.
Sounds straniSe. doesn't Il Yen that
is the situation Mat may face Kansas
Il the shop andSNyfactory heads nuke
good their threaty I discharge femase
help when the staNSe welfare comtnissNy
sion makes q ninsShoursa,day ruling
for female help.
Just to make the situation little
more real and certainsS Miss Bresette
as secretary Ok the new commiss on,
has called the blufrs Of the employ.
lers.
What kind OF pretty, Frenchsheeled
powdered Kansas man will purr Mum
Der, please when you take down the
telephone received? Miss Bresette
desires to inquire. Then the young
Kansas woman, who Ii both factory
inspector and secretary Of the new
commission. stamps her foot aud asks
more question.
a have tried to Imagine just the
condition that win exist when we
women go to the department stores
and find men selling ribbons and ell
the fnssy. fluffy stan that women buy,
Maybe Kansas wouldn't produce Z
new species Of manhood when we had
male clerks in the 1o-cent stores and
at the notion counters. or taking the
places Of the mangle girls IN the
l%aundries.p
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
SAY 1T WITH CARE.

HaeEsEa HasaAsF2
h speaking OF a persons faults,
Pray don't forget your own;
Remember those with homes Of glass
Shousd seldom throw q ston
IL we have nothing else to do,
But talk of those who sin,
Tis better we commence at home,
And from that point begin.
We have no right to judge a man
Until he's fairly tried;
shculd we not like his company,
We know the world IS wide.
sone may have faults-and who has
not
The old as we'll as young
rorhaps we may. for aught we Know
Have fifty to their one.
III tell you a better plan,
You'n lind it works full well;
70 try my own defects TO cure
Before Of others tel.
And though / sometimes hope tosbe
Ne worse than ON ! know,
Nv own SHORTCOMINGS bid me let
GAs faults OF others go
Then let us All when we commence
no slander friend Of zoe.
Rink Of the harm n word on
dos
rs those We little know
Remember, curses, sometimes Eng
oar chickens. stroost at
pon,t speak or ofhers faults unit
vs. have none Of our own:
-Selected.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
l O
outclassed

Look here exclaimed the corset
manufacturer to the editor Of q popu
lar magazine. what do you mean p,
putting d Y like that on your
magaz ne2"
What's the matter with it?s asked
the editor.
What's the matter with III? Why
the young lady in the picture has
hardly any clothes on. How do you
expect people To- look at my ccrse,
ads when you print that sort OF thing
on the outside Of the magazine2sS
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
II Didn't Work.

Never put off till tomorrow what
you can do today"
That's what ] Thought when !
cleared a path from my front door to
the road last night"
II e 8 Saved yourself the trouble
Of getting up early in the morning to
do II.
"That was my idea, but when I got
up this morning ! found the snow hsd
drifted and completely filled upsthe
path ! had made
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
VALUE or STEAM LAuNDRiEs.
Statistics for South Dakota as Gath.
cred by the Federal Buream

efed by h Federal Bureau.
Washington. D. ca preliminary
statement Of the results OF the census
OF steam laundries in South Dakota
has been issued by Director Sam L.
Rogers, of the bureau Of census, de-
partment of commerce. 1t consists
OF a summary comparing the figures
OF 1903 and 1914, prepared under the
direction Of William NJ. Steuart, chief
statistician for manufacturers.
Laundry statistics were first col
lected in 1909 and comparison is made
between the figures for 1909 and 1914.
There were 26 power laundries in
South Dakota in 1914, of which 6
were in cities having an estimated
of 10000 or more, as fol.
lows: Aberdeen, 8, and Sioux Falls
a comparative summary for 1909
and 1914 shows the number of laun-
dries in the state have decreased
from % to 26 during the Swear period.
There was a decrease from 33 to 30
in the number of p%roprietors and firm
members and from % to Is in the
number of salaried employees. With
these exceptions the various branches
of the industry show gains for 1914
as compared with 1903. In the order
of their Importance, from a percentage
standpoint, the increase for the sew
eral items rank as follows: Materials,
37.6 per cent; amount received for
work done, 1913 per cent; services,
|12.7 per cent; capital 40 per cent;
wage earners, 3.6 per cent; and horse
power, OF per cent.
The capital invested, as reported in
1914 was $~352,747, a gain of $16,47f,
or 40 per cent, over $336.276 in 1909.
The average capital per establishment
was approximately $13. 600 in 1914 and
$4,000 in 1909.
The cost of materials used in 1914
was 9llG,o0o DIS hSdlhol "oI,tio ~
1909, the increase being $30,7S5, OF
37.6 per cent.
The census inquiry does not in-
clude amounts paid fora miscellaneous
expenses, such as rent of offices, roy,
%alties, insurance, ordinary repairs, ad-
vertising, travelling expenses, or al
lowance for depreciation.
Salaries and wages in 1914 amount
ed to $215,051 and in 1909 to $190,S3O,
the increase being $24.221, or 12.7 per
lcent.
In 1914 the number of proprietors
and firm members was 20 as compared
with 33 in 1909, while the number OF
salaries employees decreased from
2S in 1909 to Is in 1914. The average
number of wage earners was 40G in
1914 and was 1856 in 1909, the increase
being IA, or $50 per cent.
The amount received for work done,
which is regarded as the product Of
the establishment, was $477,474 In
1914 and s423,092 in 1909, the increase
being $54,382, or 1873 per cent.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Successful

Before / give you my daughters
hand IN marriage. said the girls IA
ther, 81 want you to answer one ques.
tion: Do you ever play cards FOR
money?'
q do replied the young man, and
what's more, 1 always get It
Bless you my children-biess you
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
8HENRy

Paul Danforth departed frpn hsre
Monday morn ng for Iowa CHI ow
Ito his studies Id the ssA
there after d weeks visit viii Sia
|tives ana friends at Raymond ana
this city.
Mrs. BerthsSgosgroye cnie up fsaszz
|Watartown Thursday afternoon i
spend . few days visiting the es
groves here.
b. /. Ganther returned from ais
Minneapolis trip Saturday night.
Mr.. and Mrs. Warren Page assae
home Wednesday afternoon traA
Hazel where they visited aIfew asys
with their daughter. Mrs. Peel.
Mrs. w. 81. Andrus nd little LNoa
went to Clark wednesday mornns
visit with her parents.
MRS, Howell returned I her hsaac
lid Redfield Tuesday morning
Martin Larson cane home Saturday
morning from northern Minnesota
where he has been trapping
Mrs. starkweather and Alice Kinas
ZEN went 10 Estelline SATURDAY mora
ing to spend New Years With tAc
Enstness family.
Grace Clegg, Of WAtertown,
spending the week with her cossins
here.
Ole Christianson came back
Minneapolis Saturday eyenins fer y
short stay here.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
FULLER

Lake View school opened % Non
day after Il week Of vacation
The young people Of this nelshbOr-
hood, who are attending school q
town returned to their schosa work
Wednesday after enjoying tssp veeya
of vacation ut home.
Mr.. and Mrs. g. CT Kellogg were
callers 1T the Ciapp home Monday,
vern Olds Is reported - as ~
home. ErnestSBorns IL helping Dur
ing his illness,
Mrs. b. Ri Clapp and Grandna
Clapp have been quite sick ~ -
week. They re reported better =
ithis writing. s
Earl Hayford, of Fargo. y u spehts
several days last week yiasttak ~
the home Of his cousin. Mrs Carl re-
iierson.
MI. |, Cook IL helping az ttDS =.
kellogg home this week.
John C,abby Was q business caaer
lin town Monday.
Mr.. nd Mrs. Nv. G. Walsh took aas
vantage Oh the nre day and splendid
sIeighing last Sunday and came ~
and took supper Al Lake View fara1
Warren WsIch u having 3 new ven
drilled.
Mrs. 1. Robins Is enjoying q yisH
from sister who resides a AssA
s.. b.
Mrs. 4. ". Babcock u very s'ck
with an attack 81 the grippe. r.
other members Of the family 49,
have been sick are better.
MI. Smith Robins; who WIS threat
ened with pneumonia last week ~ ~
parted very much better.
MI. and Mrs. II. r. Hayfcrd re
family and Mr.. and Mrs. LA Hayfors
of Wtertown, took New Years d'n
liner at the home Of MT. and Mn g.
Peterson.
Mrs. Dravegsis among thrbc or w
sick list.
MI. Adolph Braves and sister, 49,
Italian, attended party AZ t4Ae e ~
ers home near Gardner cn Ncs
Years eve. MISS Fore1lre Dcasss
came home with them b asnaf
visit.
MI. Otto schmeIsng made seyesat
trips to town the past week
MI, and Mrs. braves euteyeained =
lparty i'll frsends oyer New Years AM
sunday Among them we're MEaas
mrs Korb. Mr.. and Mrs. Mates -
IMessrs. Marotz.
The club WAC entertained last Nsek
at the Kellogg home. On cccunt 81
sickness there was not AZ large
crowd as usual. Those present nad 8
very pleasant fine. MRS. eEp
served 4 delicious lunch and ~ 4
the new year dawned tho E,ezt5 a
psrted. our Z meeting 4 tos AZ
held III the home of Mrs
Warnie clapp:
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Protracted.

why don't you give a house party
some week end at that wonndcrful
country place OF yours?.
Never again. The last time I id
that the party was showed up and ]
had to feed the whole bunch for near
" a week.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Close.

What sort 81 a chap is this man,
Skinner,
He's the sort Of chap who
wouldn't think Of offering yon 4 match
to light your cigar unless be were
sure you had another cigar ii your
pocket
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
WOMEN or sEDENTARY HABITS.

Women who get but little exercise
are likely to be troubled with consti
patton nd indigestion and will find
Chamberlain's Tablets highly beneiic.
hal. Not so good as a three or fonr
nile walk every day but very much
better than to allow the bowels % re
main il a constiupated condition. They
are easy and pleasant to take san
most agreeable in effect. Obtainabie
everywhere. adv. Sp-sS
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Guilty.

What To the charge against this
man" asked the Judge as the prisoner
was brought before him
aI~mpersonating an officer, your
honor answered the p~oliceratn. stIIs
was flirting with the nursenaids u
the park"
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
playing Safe.

ssThe Bachelors club seenas to be
utterly deserted these days. Won
der whats the trouble?
Ter year, that's all. The boys
- afraid to hang around where the
women would be sure to look for
them
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1916-01-06
Keller Daughters Are
All Holiday Affairs


ISaturdav -nr;,,ts ~ nhatas IS 80
Of the Ave danphtars 80 Rar 4 s.
Keeler. formerly nasto, ~ tbe ror.
gregattonaI church of This civ n,ior
therein serv,ns as nastor IL nc ron.
greeationaI church al Hanrv
Strange as Il nav annaar fhasa
daughters ware ho,n IN tba soI,o,v.
ing DAYS rasnactivalv. ebr;stm.s
July 4 THANKSGIVING Memorial nav
and ST, Patr,ck,s nav IN he morning
~ rr,h,na art,a,a am,t. ~
n,cture is az follows.
Auous a.ne Shrisenias Tree ~ =
noine olsthe hes. e heeier, 4iei
hshua.e avenue south' lnefe VIII gatn
8 sonisne nse iisle sis'es-a Cnrist-
may uas paps' 9 ihankssisihs oay
pao 8 roui.i y 1uiy papy' 9 Ms,
o.iai uas Dapy aiu-uo iolse .he
Tonight he eldest OF g girls,
Mary Alma Keller, aged u, is to have
the ono OF hghtlng the CHRISTMAS
.iee oanuies ioi' :. peihs Mais 1Ainla :
.Weil.h pneiuas ~ auul.ioh - "
,hs ~ is.ina' 10y
In fact, this is her right in the Keel
er home every Christmas, just as Miss
Elva Darling, aged 3, q Thanksgiving
day papy, mas the privilege OF piuns-
ing the knife into the big tur.
key on that day.
And likewise, just as on lndepend-
|ence day Miss Nellie Blanch, aged 5,
is the BOSS 1recracker shooter, 1t be
ing her birthday. and just as on Me.
mortal day Miss Vera Leona, aged Z,
lis the chief flag bearer, and just as
on next ST. Patrick's day, Miss Helen
Marie, now aged nine months, is go.
ing to rise UP and wave the Irish
green.
NJ, KaaIa, L. state evangelist in
Minnesota for the Presbyterian Home
hoard Tbere are no BOYS in his
family
has traue,ea
- ~ -
80 .as,aa T-hsnrss;v;n
IN ~ rast h,t that
uas 800 81 a,s1a s.snas ,,nio,,a 4
$3.50