Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1916-01-22

This must be the biggest war tina
ever was" said the Rookie after read
ing some telegraph news from Europe
SURE Il Is" Kelley said. '1viry
war that ever happened was tn big
gest In fits time. Win our forefatherl
was fighting tn civil war wit rifle.
that ay properly primed would sind 8
bullet hat Way throughsa Brae cheese
81 ha' mile, and was KILN off the'l
relatives on tn other side, they quiz
betwane times 4 brag about what q
big war II WAS But II twas like now,
tn whole Nv tn min In tn civil war
wouldn't be enough to dhrive tn COM
misarry wagons fr amy wan av tn
armies Engaged now IN tn glntle pas
times ay seekin' each other wit can.
mons that shoots 20 miles an ondher
IN, pressure ay necessity can do Q few
hundred yards further.
"Ay1 could be wit thin, wherever
they ARE, fwould do me good t hear
the spirits av some Of them old ginrils
like Napoleon and George Washington
talkin' about the prisint conflict.
Napoleon. Mere Bra0aart.
"sIn me young days Ginril Wash
ington says to Napoleon, news didn't
travel 90 fast, and i used to think We
was really wagin' some war; Ye've.
been gbriggin' 90 much 1t has took me
q long time to nm ye ARE q piker
an .niyir was no more, he says, than
q busher. Ye was fist allowed t fight
wan av tn pfelim'naries.' he says, an
ay We was in wit these here heavy
weights tn audjance would be syellin'
take him out" ct ye. Wit all We
talk we've had me believin, We had
Europe bluffed, and maybe We did, but
ay We was there now instead ay want
I'm Z kape We on St Helena he says,
they'd be DARN ye { come off, ne
says, and ye'd be hoIlerin' fr more
guards go tes
Av twas not rr tn fact Napdl-
con says, that We nivir seen rale
war. he says, I'd feel hurt at THIN
remarks, but as It 10 1 regard them
a. prattlin's.' he says, not, AZ IT no.
ginril TO pay amy attenshun. e.. This
war "a not war AZ all he says. IT'S
fist 4 bunch av sojere shootin'. Y
chatsd Or Ran Away.
+" In me days Napoleon kapes on,
twas required av ginril. he could
ride 4 horse, use q sword, shoot q gun
and do wit'c5t slape Fr "a hours iyiry,
DAY ontil he'd got IN inimy chased
safe distance, or, he says, had been
chased Z q safe distance
aAll these ginrils do now is sind
some sojers out { dig holes, and thin
crawl IN thin. Av ye'd. asst wan av
thin { come out av his dueout where
he alternatives like q. bear, he'd tell
y6 tE9s not allowed be rule swim av
the articles av war ay 1892 he says.
err q ginril TO cit himself mixed up
N1t'a lot av murdherous sojers.
Akv We was there" says Washing
ton. Eyed be dom tn same thing.
butt he says, 'ay, yell look at me
picthures yell see was always on q
horse al III head av me min" he
says rslft,ugh ri admit be says.
w1nkin'. Ihere was mo cam'ras IN
him days an th' works IN ques-
ton q highly iminaginative." ~, y
Why Not Take ireland. \
what can't understand. Kelley
went on. 'is why ifiny Az thin coun-
tfrIts wants tn other at all whin ire
land 10 there r. thin e talkes In Ire
Ian there ARE pretty eurls. plinty av
epn6E- them latter bein fie wan OBJ
jtctun 10 IreIan' because av q bad
h1hIl me- ould man had Nv. lettin' me
gII exercise be heein' thim-and there
3 also some poteen w ye can fin II
--6nd he th' price, But from what
I've heaf'r1 MS nothin thin other
centuries has & riccomind thin to
amy van.
c1ron IN that has drifted t me.
from Eerueny-1n' from some Ger
|m1n1--IH van thing they have de-
voted most az. their life Z Is tryin'
e. c10I|rt oiI,f smells possible In
wan ICID ~ cheese wrapped In tin
I1'' AZ Iaf'r - r ondhurstan' it.
|I|rI Young German thries to fin out
som. U&V Nv maxim cheese that
L..0|& I1Iret to bein' lifelike ripri-.
s'.||['o1 Nv 3 hippotomus standin' be
1|.1 ~ monkey wit the soft win from
|.|I1Iiref flethrey BLOWN over him
tI1n trry ~ his radecesscrs has dis
AS & tn habits aysth,. English, they
ARE confined mostly roast beef an
ne, but amy day in that counthry
u TT &c weHrinF q faincoat al gin.l
rilIy there Is anoQgh fog Z make; ye
think We fave fell into tn river. i
have hear'rd tkt climate Is better In
France, but I would not sysnt to take
amy c0unthry where ivry man ye
meet wants T. Kiss ye-av he does not
want { fight duel.
IN wan thing strikes me about
tn war Is its tn most motionless war
ivir was. Whfn lis over some ayl
thin min viii av lived in tn trinches
50 long they will have got tn habit av
living IN tn ground like moles, an
whin theyst0 home they can't slape
anywhere excep' in IN cellar or q
ditch. Az We ARE In Europe whin
this great conflic' is concluded. yell
zee IN housewives comm out av tn
back dhure bout tn time breakfast
4 ready--if they have annythin' lef'
4 1T breakfasts wit'-an' calm tn
Old nan up from down the well.s
pWhin crate movement is made
a this war Il means wan army has
turned over In its sleep or maybe fell