davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
GETTING at the Facts.

Attorney-Are you a single man?
Witness-No, sir.
Attorrey-Is your wife living?
Witness-I've never been married.
. Attorney-But you just said you
were lot single.
Witness-True, I'm one of pair Of
twins, see?
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
You Know Him.

Nov, old fellow | want to tell you
my side CT the whole case"
But I thought you had already
told me-"
by Jove! So / did. Well, it won't
90 any harm to go all over it again."
Judge.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
JUST
She Was Busy.

II want to thank you," said the long
winded orator to the nice old lady
who had stayed throughout his entire
lecture. "You seemed to appreciate
my efforts to enlighten this commu-
nifty"
That's all right" she replied. Most
Of your audience slipped, away, but I
had brought my knitting along and
wasn't wasting the time
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Johnny knsw the Sex.

Father-Where is your mother
Johnny?
Johnny-She's out in the back yard
doing a whiting stunt.
Father-Are you sure she's whit
tling?
Johnny-Of course l am; she's try.
ing to sharpen q pencil.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Not So Communicable,

Not SO Commendabie.
"The Gadsby make you feel quite at
home In their house."
IAN admirable trait"
Not in their case"
"No?"
Their way Of making you feel at
home is to quarrel acrimoniously In
your presence"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
SAILING Orders.

Sailing Orders.
Whats that sheet there" asked
the sick soldier.
That" explained the nurse, sis your
chart"
80? Well, what's the next port I
make after Quinine? don't like that
STOP"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Discovered.

What are you wrinkling your nose
about? Are you shifting at this as.
semblage of ladies?"
Not at all. was merely trying to
determine if l could locate the par
ticular perfume that my wife affects.
All, here she is"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Two Souls. One Thouaht.

Two Souls, One Thought.
do you believe that the thoughts
Of husband and wife become iden.
tical?" asked Rounder.
81 do" answered Jaggsby. For ex.
ample. my.lwife is waiting up for me
now and she knows just what she is
going to say to me-and so do l."
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Discreet.

Mrs. Exe-Your new maid seems
very discreet.
Mrs. Wye-Indeed she is. She even
knocks on the closet doors before
opening them.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
PROOF OF 1T.

Marriage is a lottery with very
few prizes"
"Of course it is. The best man
never gets the BRIDE"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Remember.

Here's something, ere you start to talk,
To ponder on a minute:
An empty wagon rattles more
Than one with something in 1t.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
One Msn's Theory.

Mrs. Wederly-Men talk of the joys
Of single blessedness, but statistics
prove that more bachelors than mar
ried men commit suicide.
Mr.. Singleton-Yes, that's true.
Mrs. Wederiy-Oh then you are
willing to admit IL Then l suppose
you can explain why It is true.
Mr.. Singleton-Sure can. They
are driven to despair BY other peoples
babies.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
A Marrying Hero,

jones' see that man somewhere
In Missouri tried to support two
wives on So week. Some bigamist,
sh?
Smith-No. He was a hero.-Al-
bany Argus.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
"Do you believe politics makes
strange bedfeilows?"
"Not these days. Politics doesn't
give a man q chance to sleep at
ALL"
Yea. NerllYl

From the very beginning, 1t seems.
Woman insisted on having her way;
And something's wrong If she only talks
When she has something to say.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Just So.

Just So.
what have you there"
can automobile catalogue"
"Why do you read so many automo-
bile catalogues? You haven't the price
Of car"
We'll, you gotta keep posted on
automobile matters in order to under
stand the jokes"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Imperfect Everywhere.

Horse Dealer-Well, sir, of course
you must take the 'oss or leave i'm.
There e is, with all is himperfections
hon is cad, as the poet says.
Prospective Customer-Ah, your
friend, the poet, can't have looked at
his legs.-London Punch.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Where the Fun Comes In.

Where the Fun Comes In.
Said He-It's lots of fun to fiirt with
Q leap year girl until you get her to
propose, and then say mo"
Said She-Yes, it's fun for the girl,
all right, but she runs an awful risk.
Said Hem what way?
Said She-The poor boob might say
YES"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
MAKING Sure,

Member of the Touring Company
My good lady, the last place I stayed
at the landlady wept when I left.
Landiady-Oh, did she? Well, amt
going to, 1 wants my money in ad.
vance."-Lordon Tit-Bits.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
When Mamma TrembIed.

When Mamma TrembIed.
Auburn Haired Lady Tin the street
car to the little girl sitting next 10
her)-You are all in red, aren't you.
dear?
Genevieve Cooking her over criti.
cally)-Yes, but my hair isn't red.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
A Permanent occupstion.

Fermanent OccUpstIoh.
There's always something to do In
this world
"Yes. When I have nothing else
to do can always sit down and envy
The rich awhile"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
IN REGULAR ORDER.

"What did they do with that dis
abled vessel?"
"First they buoyed her up and
then they manned her"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Ugly.

Ugly.
What an ugly disposition he has!"
Yes. You remember how cross
your husband is the first week every
year when he gives up smoking?"
Yes
We'll, he's that way all the time"
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
ActivitIes In the Home.

Activities In the Home.
Mrs. Flatbush-I see by this paper
that New Jersey woman has used
the same rolling pin for forty years.
Mr. F1atbush-Good aracious! o.
inne husband?
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Order of Hearing on Petition for
Administration.

State of Minnesota. .s
County of St. Louis. 3D.
In the Matter of the Estate of Oscar Miller.
Decedent.
THE PETITION OF James I. Laing hav-
ing been filed in this Court representing. among
other things. that Oscar Miller then being
a resident of the County of St. Louis. State of
Minnesota, died intestate, in the County of St.
Louis, State of Minnesota on the 18th day of
September. 1916; leaving estate in the County of
St. Louis. State of Minnesota. and that said
petitioner is the creditor of said decedent and
praying that letters of administration of the
estate of said decedent be granted to James
I.Laing. #
1t is ordered. That said petition be heard be.
fore this Court. at the Probate Court Rooms in
the Court House. in Duluth in said County.
on Monday. the 4th day of December. 1916 at ten
o'clock a. m, and all persons interested in said
hearing and in said matter are hereby cited and
required at said time and place to show cause. if
any there be. why said petition should not be
granted.
ORDERED FURTHER. That this order be
served by publication in the The Ely Miner ac-
cording to law. and that copy of this order be
served on the County Treasurer of st. Louis
County not less than ten days prior to said day of
hearing.
Dated at Duluth Mimi. October 3lst. 1916. d
By the Court.
Attest S.W. GILPIN. >
A. r. MORTON. Judge of Probate.
Clerk of Probate.
(Seal Probate Court. ST. Louis County. Mimi
H. J. Merdink. Attorney, I"
11-3 11-17 =
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10

De QUIZ haven't seen anything in
the papers lately about Kicker, the
great football player of q few seasons
ago. Is he dead?
De Whiz-Dead? No. He's more
terrible than ever; he drives q racing
automobile now.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10

Belle-What do they mean in
financial talk by federal reserve?
Nell-I suppose that means when
money is shy.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
No Time Then.

The sporting page, the fashion page.
The market page are great;
Some people read the ed. page, too,
But not when breakfasts late.
The Ely miner., 1916-11-10
Reversal Of Custom.

Loquacious girls no more we note,
There's no excuse for baking,
Since women merely want to vote
And let men do the talking.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
CARRY STOMACH JOY
IN YOUR VEST POCKET
w. l. Gokay Has Such Faith in this
dyspepsia Remedy that He
Guarantees IL

One of the greatest successes in
the sale Of medicine has been achiev.
ed by Mona, the standard dyspepsia
remedy, and It's sale is increasing so
rapidly that W. l.. Gokay, the popu
lar druggist, has hard work to keep
stock on hand. 1t is very popular
with bankers, ministers, lawyers and
others whose business or profession
keeps them closely confined while
those who have brought on indiges.
ton through irregular eating, worry.
or other causes, have found relief in
this reliable remedy.
Mona comes in tablet form and is
sold in a metal box especially de-
signed for convenience in carrying
the medicine in the pocket or purse.
1t is pleasant to take, gives quick re-
LIEF and should help any case, no mat
ter of how long standing This
remedy has been so uniformly sue
cessful that w l.. Gokay will in flu.
ture sell Mona under Il positive
guarantee to refund the money If it
should not prove entirely satisfactory.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
place at Mrs. Coles.

place at Mrs Coles.
The w. c. T L. meeting at the
home of Mrs Holt, Wednesday alter
noon. was we'll attended. 1t was
Mothers day, and Mrs. j. S. Clark
charge of the program. Mrs. W. h
Mattison read a paper on the right
books for children to read, Mrs w. w
Bartlett of Bennington spoke on
christian Education for the Child.
A large amount of Red Cross work
was accomplished.
The pastor of the congregational
church has received an acknowledge
ment for $2S90 from Secretary James
/. Barton of the fol- eign missionary
beard, sent by the Sunday school Tor
the Turkish Emergency fund, devot
ed to the relief of American MISSION
aries and Armenians in Turkey. This
was Part of the white Gift money
which was given at Christmas time.
The church had previously sent $50
to The same fund, making about $50
in all devoted TO relief in Turkey.
Sad news has been received from
Newtonville. Mass, by Mrs. NJ. c.
Huling, of the death of her little
grandson, Huling Il. Arnold. Mrs. Ar
mold, accompanied by her two chill
dren spent Christmas here with her
mother, expecting to remain until af-
ter New Years, but she was taken i'll
and returned home Monday following
Christmas. The little son, four and
one half years old, seemed perfectly
well when he left here, but was taken
suddenly and violently i'll on the fol
lowing Thursday morning with acidi-
tbs, the disease which has proved ia
tai to so many little ones in Boston
and vicinity in the last few days.
The next day at 2 p. m. he was called
home. The funeral services were
held from the residence No. 515 Wal
nut ST. Newtonyille. Mass, Sunday
afternoon at 3 o'clock the body be-
ing placed in a vault, to be brought
later to North Bennington for inter
ment in the Arnold family plot in
cemetery. Little Huling's
sunny smile endeared him to strang
er and friend alike and during his few
years stay on earth, he brought great
happiness to many hearts
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
Sir William
Cr0oke's
# Glass

Is scientific tinted glass which
greatly reduces eye-strain, thus pre-
venting many eye ills
This glass is the result of six years
exhaustive experiment by the great
English scientist.
Lenses ground from this glass shut
out the harmful rays of light from
the eyes.
These ultraviolet rays. cause elec
trio ophthalma, Inflammation head
ache, etc.
The mira red or heat rays have
been found to cause cataracts.
After thoroughly testing the merits
of this glass we recommend it rs the
best and without sdoubt the most rest
full and beneficial glass TO be had
Ask us more about it,
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
REPORTERS RIGHT IN COURT
Ohio Court Says 1t is as Great as
LAWYERS

"A reporter for newspaper has
Just as much right to come into court
to report a case as lawyer has to APP
pear in it."
This was the ruling of Common
Pleas Judge Manuel Levine Of Cleve-
land, o. when Harry Crawford, at
torney for the Cleveland Railway conf
pany asked that the jury be dismis-
sed and damage case discontinued
following publication of stories of the
trial in the city papers. Newspaper
request, hut the motion was overrul-
ed.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
SEVERE RHEUMATIC
PAINS DISAPPEAR

Rheumatism depends on an acid
in The blood, which affects The
muscles and joints, producing in
gammation. stiffness and pain. This
cid gets into the blood through
some defect in the digestive process,
Hoods Sarsaparilla, the old-time
blood tonic, is very successful in the
treatment of rheumatism. 1t acts
directly. with purifying effect. on
he blood. and improves the diges-
tioa. Don suffer Get Hood s today.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06

On giving the foregoing figures in
The House of Commons Mr.. Tenant
said it was impossible to separate the
casualties in the battle Of Loos from
those in adjacent areas. These fig
ures, he said, were casualties on tie
western front from September % to
October 8.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
LOSSES NEARLY 10000
British Casualties "a the Battle of
LOGS and Near

The British casualties in the battle
of Loos, France, last September, total
led 237S officers and 57,2SS men, ac-
cording to an announcement made
in the House OF Commons at London
yesterday afternoon by Harold j. Ten
nant, parliamentary under secretary
for war table showing the killed,
wounded and missing by officers and
ether ranks, follows:
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
Skeptical.

Over the Phone-Hello! Is that you,
Blank; Why there's a report around
town that you're dead.
* that so? Wen, call me NJ again
if its confirmed will youT Boston
Trnnscript
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1916-01-06
There IS A VAST ARMY

of men and women who really never
know what it is to enjoy sound, vibrat-
ing health-who would be surprised to
suddenly gain that exhiarating vitality
that robust health brings.
Literally thousands without any par
ticular sickness live in general dc
bility', as the doctors call have
headaches, are tired and Indifferent.
To all such people we say with mmis-
taxable earneStncss flake Scott s
Emulsion afterm meals forone month and
allow its rare oil-food to enrich and en-
liven your blood, quicken your circula-
ton, stimulate nutrition, and aidnatlue
to develop that real red-blooded life that
means activity, enjoyment, success"
Scott s Emulsion is not drug, but
pleasant food-tonic-free from alcohol
One bottle may help you.
Scott s. BOVINE. bloomfield N, j. 1881
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12
Making the Little
Farm Pay
By c. c. BOWSFIELD

A Minnesota reader asks for specific
information as to the successful raising
and profitable marketing Of geese. 1t
may be claimed with the utmost conf
dence that no domestic fowl will grow
into money faster than the goose. To
a limited extent also it is true that
these fowls can be made to pay in any
part Of the country and belong in the
ordinary farm program. big and little.
Geese sell commonly in the retail
markets at range Of IS to % cents
pound, minus the feathers, which are
worth 25 to 30 cents. AS a goose ten
months old should weigh fifteen pounds,
there ought to be a gross price Of $3.50
to So. Then, allowing 80 cents for feed
and care, there is a profit Of So or up
ward on each bird.
The market is never so overstocked
with geese as to prevent farmers OBJ
tanning these prices. The parcel post
enables those living q considerable dis
lance from town to market their poul-
try direct to consumers at full retail
prices. 1t is always possible for per-
sons handling poultry on a large scale
to supply a regular line Of trade. They
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12

all winter long every city and most of
the villages consume these meat fowls
at prices ranging upward Of IS cents q
pound Where farmer ships in a
haphazard way to dealers whose only
object is to pay the lowest and receive
the highest prices possible there is no
certainty of profitable returns. Neither
is there chance for fair profits where
geese do not have reasonable amount
Of clean range. They are birds which
require pasturage just as much as cat
tie do. 1t is one Of the strong points
In favor Of goose raising that they
grow their fifteen pounds or more of
excellent flesh on a grass diet, the
cheapest food used by any domestic
creature.
Where geese. ducks and turkeys are
raised without suitable range their
worth in market will little more than
equalize the cost Of the grain or mill
stuff which they consume, but in my
estimate Of profits it is assumed that
the feeding will be along natural lines,
with only a small proportion Of the
market value Of the fowls taken up in
the consumption of expensive feeds.
Geese require an extremely small per-
centage Of grain products. Geese are
the hardest of domestic fowls, and
as they grow and thrive on cheap for
age, picking up in the fields and
around the creeks and ponds a large
part of their living, the proportion of
loss is lighter than with other birds.
In view of these incontrovertible
facts it is growing wonder that more
farmers do not raise geese, and then
1t is equally wonder that they do
not more generally establish parcel
post shipping direct to town families
that would be glad to buy their sup
plies fresh from the country. Too
many farmers are still committed to
old fashioned methods of raising big
crops and neglecting the smaller side
lines. All over the west there are
thrifty villages and cities which make
good markets for poultry. In Mime
sofa, as in other well settled states,
the parcel post can be used to good
advantage in shipping supplies of all
kinds to the large cities within a rea-
sonable distance. Until producers over
stock these markets, they are not ny-
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12
ing up to their best opportunities in

Ing up to their best opportunities in
money making.
AS to the best types of geese, ducks,
turkeys and chickens for farmer to
handle, I just wish to emphasize my
belief that all the common or standard
breeds are good. For purely meat
production it is wise to select the
larger types. as they keep just as cas-
lily as the others and bring a larger
price in market Farmers who have
not heretofore made much of their
poultry, but who desire to establish
this industry as a prominent feature,
should correspond with hotel and
restaurant keepers, or with private
families in town and endeavor to Sc
cure definite orders for such poultry as
they wish to raise
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12

Regular Electric Light SER
vice for the town of Kendrick
will begin on the evening of
May Is.
Are you prepared to take
advantage of the excellent light
ing facilities offered by this
company? If not ask yourself
WHY you have not wired your
home or place of business before
the first night of service.
We are here in your town to
supply your needs in the electric
light and power line and will
appreciate any support that may
result from your requirements
for light and service. Give US a
trial.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12

may arrange with hotels and restau-
rants, boarding houses. clubs or private
families to take given quantity of any
line of produce. Many successful rails
ers of ducks, geese, chickens and tur-
keys have their private customers and
obtain top notch prices.
So long as the market stands ON its
present high level no farmer can claim
that he cannot sell a well fattened
goose for $3.50. The plain truth Is that
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12
To Kill Siugs and SnaiIs.

When slugs and snails are trouble
some in the garden, busting the soil
with slaked lime will check their at
tacks. In cellars salt can be used eff.
fectively, but salt is likely to damage
plants when used in the garden.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1916-05-12
Diversity of Farm Enterprises,

In most cases where studies on the
profits in farming have been made.
particularly in our Oldest agricultural
districts, such studies indicate that the
most successful farms are those which
have from two to four major sources
OF mcome-namely, they have a well
balanced and diversified business. In
certain instances it may pay better to
have only one enterprise, but usually
when one crop pays much better than
all others the production of it increases
rapidly and soon the price falls to the
point where other crops or products
are equally as profitable Diversified
farming Is often confused with farm
ing where there is a little of eyerv-
thing and not much of anything. Either
extreme lessons the chances of suc-
cess. When the price of certain crops
Is very low then live stock usually he
comes desirable. However, if the re-
turns per animal are poor, cash crops
even at low price are essential A
Well balanced business insures against
losses and provides a much better
utllization Of the labor and equipment
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-05-05

WAsHINGrOS. MAY These navy Or
de-s were issued to-day:
Lieut. X y Iugcr~o''. from the cin-
c'nna'i TO ofH'" ~ 'hi"f 81 laval oper-
a'ions
Lieut.. \ tamphir. from tho Cine!n-
mai To- home and walt orders
Lieut., = Il Mann. from the rs to home
Liou' " NJ Quisley. from IN. Al to
home tor orders
Lieut. ' D. C4aplin... from N. COM
Lieut. ~ \ Mcclure, from the com
maud Of the Perry 20 command the Preb!c.
Lieut.. r g. kinkhid., from proyins
sperry GyrosCope Company. BROOKLYN.
Lieut.. r. u Rut,er, from Washington
yard to- proving ground. Indian Head. MI.
Ensign : II Geer, from tho AS TO the
Ensign l. ! stechcr, from tn. Mohican
to 'hc ~
Ensign = ri,zsimon-. from tn. Mohican
20 'lr At
EgHEa u e Davis. from the Mohican
TO 'hc Al
surgeon Il \ Bschmann 20 Naval Hos
piial, rhilidclphiH.
Passed Assistant Surgeon l. l.. Pratt.
from naval Hospital. Philadelphia. to the
Passed Assistant surgeon " A. Ane-
win from naval station, carite. TO the
Rrooklyu
NssIstAu, Surgeon NJ. n Hidden. iron,
the i'dlos to the Aharends.
Assistant Surgeon r. Wilson, from the
Monterey to naval hospital. Yokoha ma.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-05-05
FIFTEEN PARCELS
IN 100000 BARTER
orrrators and Old Estate the
rrinripals--Two Bronx
Theatres Sold.
>ENEN FLATS PLANNED

r.It.. 80 hf'ccn properties in vari-
os ..,'aus 10 Manhattan and Brouk
H.. valued a. 100000 were bartcrcd
,,-.,rIlv Gar a deal by VI. 4 l. Ernst.
TIE S'1uN aud Cheyenne Realty coinpa-
no. recently Incorporated and under
STOOL tn bee the name taken toy a we'll
known estate. is tho other party in
,h,s uirv parcellcd barter. The Ernsts
siyr Id the 81. george. u seven story
,l.,lto~ apartment house ut the north
eat corner of Lexington avenue and
s.,cr', eighth street. Nh plot S.2x3s ;
s'.o '1c nvc story thirty-six family
,r,rtuent at 5iO and BIG West isith
street. On plo, SOAiO0, between Amster-
dem sui Audubon venue The Sioux
srI ,ue,cuuc Realty Companies gives
p dos cash two upper Manhattan prop
,r..,, and eleven Brooklyn parcels.
- Manhattan properties comprise .
vs.. l.aI street. u Ave story double
A.. ou iot \'9lI, and Pal East l27th
street, A., three story and basement DWELL
Ing. un lot ~ii2Nl00.
Ti, properties IN Brooklyn taken nv
-. operators arc 1882 and 1897 East
Twenty first street. two one family
dwellings. each t0Ni0O: 1850. 1870 aud
rs, East TwcntN-sccoud street, three
,vn family houses. each iOxl0O 2iOS
AMI Ems Avenue ., two two family
houses. Zach ioNl00: 23lS Avenue q,
orc family house. 4ONloO 522 and 5os
rast Thirty fourth street. II family
Dwellings. each ajxl0o. and ten lots on
Cucy Island avenue.