The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1916-10-26
FlNNEeAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
Pursing the Heart.


Wklch iv them? All lv them. he
smites the Civil Service Rock and re.
freshin' jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on a horn an ivrythin' falls for ut
If the people call him iver so soft, Lit.
tie Samuel had no quicker ear. An fol-
sacryticin' what's dear to his heart
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocricy's shield an excaedin
great reward.
''Tis his Presbyterian bringin' up
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts a policy
thin he thries to justify it, thin he
sanctifies it wild phrase. while a choir
iv Deshurvin Dimmycrats sings a
hymn. An there ye are. Justification
Adoption an Sankty-hcashun.
"The choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Billy
Brine was all In ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
lv the life iv the great Idaylist.
Harvey wint back to edith an Bill
Brine Wint In search iv the Howly
Kale. McCOmbs was canned, because
him an Billy MCAdoo cuddent sing q
duet. an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff ragtime But WudthrOw die.
Grated them all. Wild f'what say yei
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross.
Ohio. | mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club, whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion
Now the choir has what WudthroW
calls the vital stuffs iv life Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis
wild Redtield for the high falsetto
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow is fond iv music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear a sound.
well, wan night In August the Colo
mel come tiptoein In through the base
ment dure.
"'How's the game, ColonelY says
WudthrOw. 'So-so,' the Colonel says
'Ye might round up few more votes,
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an alb.
sent air.
"'Ain't got the full dinner-pail's?' ?
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and a
half says House pleasantly. Amt !
KEEP 'em out O war; axes Wudthrow.
Part O the time, says House, rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper OIL
his right foot Amt my voice our
greatest liquid asset? axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice says
House, but lot iv suckers can't tell
asset firm an li'bility. the Colonel
says.
"'Fwhat are ye drivin' atT says
\, ilson, four flushing little.
"'Arre We watchin' the striker says
House. Half a millyul votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure. an clOsin' ut behind
him.
"Well, Sir. he left Wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. 1 hear he says, in a low
sweet tone that vice " the people,
which is>tO me as the vice Of a Car
negie Penshun.' 'Oh,' he says, thrillin'
in ivry nerve, must indade sacryfice
wan more IDOL says he, 'on the altar
iv me Country! says Wudthrow.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says; an
the Tariff for Rev-noo.' he says; AN
all me friends, beside says he, six
teen per'fy good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enoughT he axes in
agony. But will purge me Heart "
ivry pers'nal fought says he, startin'
for bed. An before he retires he takes
Heart Purge iv his own 1nvinshun
the way it'll wurk while he sleeps.
dinnaw f'what the purge is. 'Tis q
secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted great sacryfse Of pur-
rinciple, dear to his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged sacryfses. So
he sends for House. Colonel says
he, "F"what pur-rinciple d'yr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfse In this
great morel imargincy?" he axes anx.
iously.
whisper says the Colonel. And be
said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear, and
faded silently away through the dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stud
spellbound. Thin he burst into a
whoop; The Ram in the Bushes cries
he wild tears iv 1y.
"'Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryfise was solemny-ised
at the Capitol.
"The procession started f'om the
White House wild the Prisldint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
an box iv Safety-First matches in
tn other. He was followed by a coon
bearin' four gold pans, and behind
came four Union Chiefs ridin' on milk
white steeds followed be a group iv
Railroad Prisidints, Stock Holders.
Farmers, Shippers and Consumers,
loaded wild chains. After short ser
mon to Congress on Purgin' the
Heart the Prisidint laid the Ram On
tn alter, an imprissively stabbed it
wild the four gold pens while the choir
sang Holy, Holy, Holy. The Prisidint
handed the gold pens to the four chiefs
wild a bow; Jim Ham Lit the wood an
wiped up the blood, an the sacryfise
was complete.
"'What was the RamT say ye.
Twas a pet baste Wudthrow used to
Craze in the White House lawn. Twas
TIL Idol iv his heart. He named it
Arbitrashun. 1t was the Ram, an all
the people was the goat"
Mr.. Wilson has become SO thoroughly
neutral that he looks with grave suit