New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-02-13
Rv SAMUEL HOPKINS ADAMS.

By SAMUEL HOPKINS ADAMS.
The one really difficult feature of guaranteed advertising is to
make people comprehend what guarantee means No term mas
been more ugged with and qualified and pared down on the sides
and trimmed off at the ends maued of shape and squeezed
into strange FORMS and diluted and aduteraed and mbranded
than that simple ninecttered word common experience
for me to have Tribune reader usually the shopping offer
concentrations on the papers stand guaranteeing It's advertising
and say; -
"Of course it's fine for the public But how can you tell
whether the complainant is in the right
Then smile pleasantly Cat least pleasantly for the rs
two or three hundred tmes) and say I'm afraid don quite
understand
oh yes do understand perfectly
lust what do you understand@
Il understand that if buy hat shrwast or pair OF
shoes advertised in The Tribune and they arcn represented
Excuse me- but there's nothing about Misrepresentation in
our guarantee.
isn't there? Well then it's this way the hat or shoes or
whatever it is ISM worth the money
Pardon me There's nothing said It's being worth the
money.
oh OF course not see There must be something wrong
with the article and the
81 dislike to interrupt again. but the condition of the article
hasn't any bearing the guarantee
By this time the lady probably becoming little confused
even aggreyed 1T thats funny sort OF guar
ance If has nothing do with Misrepresentation or money
worth or condition of the goods how you tell whether the
chaser deserves her money back?
I'VE can't"
Then you don't give it back do you9
Yes"
Even if she got her moneys worth and everything was all
straight"
Yes"
And don you require any evidence of her good faith3
Only that she shall deliver the unsatisfactory goods
We want them to file as evidence for against the store
We'll Ldespairingyl may be very stupid but don't see
what it's all about What is ii you guarantee
Satisfaction. Then suggest mildly Cat least II was mildly
for the first three hundred me that she read The Tribune
guarantee printed daily at the head of the editorial columns.
Nine times of ten she says that she has read it In that
case venture hint another reading might impress upon her the
meaning and intent of this passage
g" If dissatisfaction results any The Tribune
guarantees pay your money back upon request No red tape
clubbing We make good promptly the advertiser does not
Now that seems to ne unequvoca piece Of English 1t
was fashioned be entirely free of oophoes pitfalls and quah-
cations. Yet appears possess snguar elusive quality for
The average mind only feminine but masculine well Re
Gently made an address on standards of advertising before
organization far from New York made up of professional
in the of which explained The Tnbunes moneyback
guarantee Now from long practice writing and speaking,
that able make myself understood regarding any
simple matter but make doub sure quoted The
Tribune guarantee verbatim When through gentleman in
the second owhe looked be in the prime of mental vgo he
the Phi Beta Kappa key of scholarship his watch chain and
he had been awake all during remakrose and said that he
would like to ask a question. This his question
What does dissatisfied purchaser have proJc order
get his money back from The Inbunc}"
After tearing handful Of hair (my own. my inqu-
tor explained that he had prove nothing except his
And top Of that another person who also looked human got up
and said
That's very interesting, Mr. Adams but suppose the pur-
: chaser the believing that the merchandise was not
as advertised
And another popped up and inquired Must he make affidavit
that he bought the article because he the advertisement in The
Tribune
And still another sat still and demanded Would you give him
LIS mnncy back 4 he Mcreni IrLunc .uL.-rLer3.