The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1916-09-28
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BALKAN.

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! Number Twinty-two. Och. hone! 'Tis
different these times. The Jackass
knew better till Balaam tanned him.
Lave me ride ye,' says Balaam, AN
I'll make ye the biggest ASS In the
wurld'
"'Great.' says the ASS; what dye
feedT
Pork says BALKAN.
"'Me SAVIOR says the Ass.
so haJaam mounts, But soon the
la.l- bmlks.
"Phwat is itT say. bai1aa.
Snakes, says rho ASS; t't looks
! like tno jaUbonc ny me mother
"'C'wan. says EajanI7, hlttin The
LAS q clip. tbs ~" fu-rrD policy
he says.
"'Phwat's ut for? axes the Ass.
ut dcfnds tn. nashuu, says Ra-
laam.
"HOwT says the ASS.
Faith says Balaam, ut takes a
bigger ASS than you to know that.
Lave 1t to Brine says Balaam to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on medlta-
tin.
"'Iee, haw,' says the ASS, balkin'
an kickin'.
"'What nOwT says Balaam.
"Divil Jackass ever seen the like
says the ASS. ut could he n frog
says he, for ut stands up in front.
and sits down behind; an It's mostly
mouth says the Ass. 'Ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very Crooz Red. or Niagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.
says he. 'Hivins, have been drink
inT screams the ASS TO Balaam.
Saints be praised says Balaam
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
it's mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says 'G'wnn, In the
service Nv Mankind. says Balaam to
the Ass, touching him up. An the
ASS shuffios ahead. wavin' his ears In
admiration.
'Hee-haw! Hee-hswr says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
'Phwats grippin' ye uowT says
BALKAN, impashunt like.
81 Dunno says the ASS. Ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with So
ciallst Crew. he says.
"''Tis me Ship BILL says Balaam.
Side step TO the right he says;
side step to the left, says he well
tin him. Back up, says Balaam,
near wrenchln' off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty millyun pork, says Ba-
laam wild n shower Nv blows; an the
Ass goes on thremblin'.
"'Wah-hee! Wah-heei Wah-heev
says the Jack, shyin' so he near
threw his rider.
I'll learn We to shy at me Naval
Bill says Balaam, lar-rupin' the
bnste so he cud scarce stand.
aye can't pass ut widout weHrn'
Republican Clothes says the Jack In
\ coarse whisper.
aye ASS says Balaam. Don't we
know that amy cloes is betther nor
nskeduess? evan says Baiaam, 10
tones Iv thunder. So Che poor hsste
iupes on, Hrpiu ~id rain.
"Ive tot tine ~ tcl re ali The ad-
ventures they had. but Obey keep on
oyer rough roads. now an' then eros
sin & ditch on Wan term plank,
which made even RaIasm unaisy.
Iviry dnle the Jack kicked. he got
short rations an Il wallop. So WHOM
the journey was near over, the poor
haste was all In, and far too proud TO
fight. any Jack-Ass can be that
when he's licked.
SWAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into harmony like Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gaspipe wild the
feet
"'Phwat ais We nowT calls BALKAN,
clubbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivver did pass the like yells
the Ass, sweating and thremblin'. ut
says ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwat
is utT screams the ASS to BALKAN,
feebly Vaughn his ears.
al dInno phwat ut is meself,' says
Balaam, but know phwat ut's got
Balaam says.
"'Phwat?' axes the poor ASS.
alive hundther thousand votes
says Baaam. wild pious air. 'G'wan,
We big ASS, an doant We argue wild
an Idaylist,' says BALKAN to the ASS.
awe can't pass ut In the dark
pleads the ASS. Lave us wait for
light means the Ass, weepin'.
INK says Balaam. There's q hot
time comm an the votesTl Spite.
Do We thurst for sixteen more years
In the wilderness? Giddap,' says he,
'purgin' yer heart says Balaam, 1v
iviry thought that's selfish says Ba-
laam, or personal chants Balaam to
the poor Ass ticklin' the Jacks Stats
wfd n couplln' pin.
by this time the ASS was so wore
out wild his ardyous labors, that he
knew no more than BALKAN himself.
SO, wild one despairin' cry, he dropped
his ears, as he an his master stumbled
forward into the dark"
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