The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-10
Dolly Hears, Mrs. Caudle, Jr., Deliver
SomeVery Pointed Curtain Lectures
(NGR. CAUDLE GOES TO THE FAIR")
By DOLLY DALRYMPLE.

RRN o no, Mr.. Caudle, I've caught
~ up with you again, sir; hope
you enjoyed yourself yester-
day. What do 1 mean? You don't
know what Pm talking about? Oh!
Ives you do. How was The Fair?'
How did know you'd been there?
IOh! there was something in the wind
that waited the glad tidings to my
poor, wretched ears. Yes; was sure
of it when you left home yesterday
morning, but 1 didn't say anything to
you about it; l just laid low and,
watchful waiting, was the word. Pres
emily was rewarded for my patience,
because Mrs. Tattle-tale came over for
visit and the first word she said
was: Saw Mr.. Caudle at the Fair; /
couldn't believe my eyes because the
person with him was SO unlike you
and-and-"
"Old gossip? Old scandal-monger?
What's that you say, Mr.. Caudle about
my dear friend, Mrs. Tattle-tale? Don't
you dare; you know you were there, be-
1
good pair of eyes and she'd know that
figure and face of yours in Egypt. And
you call yourself q respectable man
| the father of a family-and at your
time of life, galivanting all over the
| fairgrounds with every Tom, Dick and
| Harry, and-and-'
"Oh, how could you, Mr. Caudle? Why
couldn't you have taken me and the chill
dren? You know how much we would
| have enjoyed it; besides you can be
such pleasant companion when you are
out, Mr. Caudle. Oh, yes, you can; I've
heard of how gay and blithesome you
| are-so good tempered and all that.
| only wish people might see you at home.
That's just like men, though; keeping
all their good manners and good tenn
per for outsiders and none for their
wives and children. I'm sure I don't
know who'd be a poor woman If they
could help it,
mo, Mr. Caudle; I'm not in an i'll tenn
per; I'm merely hurt, wounded, pierced to
the very heart by your wanton conduct.
l know 1 used not to grumble when we
were first married, but that was be-
cause was little fool; Tdasit at home
and cry my eyes out waiting for you,
thinking how hard you had to work. but
now, sir, / know you. Why couldn't you
have said like man, Mr.. Caudle, yes
terday that you intended to go to the
fair? Don't tell me that you didn't think
of going; you knew when you left your
wife and children yesterday morning
that you meant to go to the fair; you
would never have put on your new blue
serge suit and your felt hat and your
red necktie and your silk socks and your
tan shoes il you hadn't expected to go
skyIarking And coming hame here at
1 o'clock in the morning! No wonder
you can't sleep; no wonder you are nerv-
GUS After all the dissipation of the day
and half the night it is a wonder to me
that you are not dead-at your time of
life! You seem to forget, Mr.. Caudle,
that you are not as young as you once
were; you can't keep up with a lot of
boys and run after the Chickens and cut
up generally like you could 25 years
ago, SIR
"You act like schoolboy, Mr.. Caudle;
I suppose there are a lot of people who
don't even know you are married Why
should they? You are never seen with
us anywhere. Are you ashamed of us,
Mr.. Caudle? Don't tell me you are sore.
and worn out; / guess I know that;
suppose you trotted your fat little legs
off running around the exhibit build
ings. Friends from out of town in an
auto? OF course; that's just what I
imagine. No; I don't hold my tongue,
sir; if I live to be 8 years old I shall
continue to-reprove my husband when
he makes fool of himself
Il suppose, of course. you went in to