The Monticellonian., 1916-11-16

For many other reasons he was not He was chiefly fortunate in being. as certain opponents often strove wither- ingly to designate him, the son of his father since that sound old gentle man was the wealthiest farmer in that section. with but one son and heir to supplant him, in time, in the role of county god" and haply perpetuate the prouder title of the biggest tax payer on the assessment list" And this fact. too, fortunate as it would seem, was doubtless the indirect occa- sion of liberal percentage of all Johns misfOrtunes. From his earliest school days in the little town, up to his tardy graduation from q distant college, the influence of his fathers wealth invited his procrastination, hu- mored it's results, encouraged the lax ity of his ambition, and even now" as John used, in bitter irony. to put il. it is aiding and abetting me in the ostensibie practice of my chosen pro fession, a listless, aimless undeter- mined man of forty, and q confirmed bachelor at thati" At the utterance of his self-depreciating statement, John generally jerked his legs down from the top of his desk and rising and kicking his chair back to the wall he would stump around his filtered of flee till the manila carpet steamed with dust. Then he would wildly break away, seeking refuge either in the open street, or in his room at the old-time tavern. The Eagle house, "where." he would say, 'I have lodged and boarded, do solemnly asseverate. for long. unbroken, middle-aged eter- nifty of ten years. and can yet assert, in the words of the more fortunately dying Webster, that I still live' "
 Extravagantly satirical as he was at times, John had always m indetinabe drollery about him that made him agreeable company to his friends. Ut least; and such an admring friend he had constantly at hand in the person of Bert Haines. Both were Bohemians in natural tendency, and, though John was far in Bert's advance in point of age, he found the young man just the kind of q fellow to have around. - while Bert, in turn. held his senior in profound esteem-looked up to him, in fact, and even in his eeeentricities strove to pattern himself after him. And so it was. when summer days were dull and tedious. these two could muse and doze the hours away to- gether: and when the nights were long, and dark, and deep and beauti= ful, they could drift out in the noon light of the stars. and with the soft complaining flute" and "warblng lute." Hay the pipes as John would say, for their enduring popularity with the girls And it was immediately sub sequent to one of these romantic ex- cursions, when the beated pair, at two o'clock in the morning. had skulked up q side stairway of the old hotel, and gained Johns room, with nothing more serious happening than Bert fall- ing over trunk and smashing his guitar-iust after such night of TO- nance and adventure it was that. in the seelusion of Johns room. Bert had
  something of especial import to com municate.
 Mack" he said, as that worthy mathematical spiteful match, and then sucked his finger.
 Blast the all-fired old torch '" said John, wrestling with the lamp-flue. and turning on welcome flame at last. Well, you said Mack ? Why don't you go on? And don't bawl at the top of your lungs, either. You've already sue ceeded in waking every boarder in the house with that guitar, and you want to make amends now by letting them go to slecep again !"
 But my dear fellow" said Bert with forced calmness. you're the fellow that's making all the noise-and-"
 "Why. you bowling deryish w inter- rupted John, with feigned air of pleased surprise and admiration. But let's drop controversy. Throw the fragments of your guitar in the wood- box there, and proceed with the open ing proposition
 What l was going to say was this" said Bert, with Il half-desperate enun- ciation; I'm getting tired of this way of living - clean, dead-tired, and Jagged out, and sick of the whole arti- fcial business '"
 "Oh, yes!" exclaimed John. with towering disdain. you needn't go any further. l know just what malady k throttling you. It's referm-reform You're going to turn over q new leaf and all that, and sign the pledge. and quit cigars, and go to work. and pav your debts, and gravitate back into Sunday-school, where you can make love to the preachers daughter under the guise of religion, and deseerate the sanctity of the innermost pale of the church by confessions at class of your thorough conversion Oh. you're going to-"
 No, but I'm going to do nothing of the sort, interrupted Bert resentfully. What mean-if you'll let me finish is, I'm getting too old to be eternally undignifying myself with this singing of midnight strains under Bonnvbelrs window-panes,' and too old to be keeD- ing myself in constant humiliation and expense by the borrowing and string ing up of old guitars, together with the breakage of the same, and the general wear-and-tear on constitution that is slowly being sapped to it's foundations by exposure in the night air and the dew.
 And while you receive no further compensation in return" said John. than, perhaps, the coy turning up of