davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
A Marrying ParsOn

In his four years as the pastor of the
First Methodist church the Rev. Dr.
j. w. johnson has married upwards o.
500 couples. and is still at it.
II am still in the marrying business
said DR.. johnson, land I have enjoyed
tying the marital knot on over 600 cou
pies in the past four years I've only go
few months left to marry the young
folks al the First Methodist church. rs
after November the conference will place
me elsewhere, as I've served my fou
years"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Montgomery Advertiser: Republican
campaign managers issue list of the
names of democratic relatives who
have been appointed to positions in this
administration. The republicans also are
kicking at the appointments to office of
democrats who are not kin to senators
and cabinet ministers. If there's any
thing that makes a republicans corns
burn it is to see democrats drawing pay
from the government.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
FOOLISH WISE MEN.


A learned society man sat down to dine,
The food was delicious and so was the
wine.
But soon bold theorist made remark
And what was joyous occasional lark
On tn instant became an impass ioned
debate.
Each savant ignored what was laid on
his plate
And snapped at his neighbor and then
glared around
And added his voice to the volume of
sound
Which rose to the roof and was heard In
the street
By persons who wondered what caused
so much heat
Then, after some hours of uproar and
strife,
Mid angry contentious and arguments
rife,
They went home. The question at issue.
one hears,
Has vainly been argued for 1000 years.
WASTED LIFE.
What do you think of Mr.. Gasserby,
65 years of age, starting to take dancing
lessons?"
Poor old fellow!' sighed the tango
fiend.
Pathetic, isn't it?'
Yes. Consider all the years he has
lived without knowing how to dance!"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
Amendment VIII Garry

he support that has been given by
the birmingham press in the school
tax amendment that comes up for the
people to vote upon in November has
helped wonderfully" said Commission
err Hornady. The question of giving
the counties of Alabama the right to
increase the school tax to mills is
a vital one and should be carried with
out any opposition. If the amendment
carried all the public corporations will
have to pay their share in the school
tax. At the present time thousands
of dollars in incidental fees are paid
by the parents of the school children
only.
The democratic part of the school
providing adequate facilities for the
education of our children will not fall
on any particular class, but will be
distributed equally among all the peo-
pie. Even the bachelors will have to
come across with their small part. We
have organized a campaign committee
next week. Anyone who wishes to know
all the details of this law will be
given the information. Speeches will
be made in every precinct in Jeffer-
son county. That the amendment will
carry is certainty" '''s
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
THE SHARKS MUST GO

THE SHARKS MUST 60.
Said Imogene Irene de Peach
TO properly protect the beach
The dogfish should be trained to bark
Whenever they espy a shark.
Springfield Union.
We must admit that she is right,
But what about the beach at night?
The catfish then should be on view,
To scratch the shark and loudly NEW.
Youngstown Telegram.
The cowfish too, at early morn,
Might toss the shark upon her horn;
Or, meeting one, she would, no doubt,
Be Just the one to bawl him out
Newark, o., Advocate.
The swordfish, too might snoop aroune
The sharks familiar hunting ground.
And when he saw the shark, insert
His trusty blade where it would hurt.
Springfield Union.
The devil fish should be on hand
When sharks come shopping in a band.
The moment that they saw his face,
They'd cease to linger round the place.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
A DISCIPLE OF CH1vALRY

From the New York Globe,
A lad with tortoise shell glasses read
The knights Of the Round Table in a
subway train, while an elderly woman
and girl chung to straps directly in
front of him.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

pEGINNING THE DAY to
- contentment. Help
srorI hard enough to find sat's, IN.
TO- IN my labor. Help me 10 ~
ssncere,y enough to fear no me-
Mas dig up enough In my piase
e. discover the Colds and waH
high enough to see the stars. Ma
,,xe n. IL permanently. IN
name. Amen.-H. NJ. e.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
PROVING HIS METTLE.

THE trouble with you, Gadspur, is that
you are too easily discouraged re-
marked his friend, Githers.
Il don't think So" answered Gadspur.
For instance, yesterday I wanted to
borrow the small sum of $40"
"Yes?"
IT delivered neat little speech to
exactly II people before 1 got the money.
That strikes me as extraordinary perse-
verance."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Mobile Register: 1t is stated that Mo-
bile's famous oysters suffered greatly
from the muddy waters caused by the in
cessant rainfall of the month of July
and that the crop which was so promis-
ing at the beginning of July has been al
most entirely destroyed. Experts in oys.
ter culture say it will be two years be-
fore Mobile bay and adjacent waters will
give up oysters large enough for cult
nary purposes 1t is encouraging to
know, however that the oystermen OF
Mobile and Baldwin counties are prepar-
ing to repant their beds in order that the
industry may revive in it's aforetime pro-
portions.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

clubs was followed up by another old
timer who laments the lack of inter
est in the present campaign. He thinks
that torch light parades would change
apathy into enthusiasm. "The political
atmosphere needs stirring up and
needs it badly" he writes. General
Apathy seems to be in control. Sound
the timbrel and wake him up. We
need more ginger in our campaign in
order to arouse sort of war spirit
among certain classes of people that
don't listen much to political speeches
without the pyrotechnical accompani-
ments. Start the ball rolling now.
Never was there better opportunity
presented for such organization on
gigantic scale as at this time"
No presidential candidate ever made
greater number of speeches in the
space OF few weeks than Mr..
Hughes. His language is often bitter,
but what he says is never convincing.
Mr.. Hughes does not arouse the peo-
pie and these republicans who miss the
marching clubs are showing uneasi-
ness over what they consider
woefully apathetic condition, especial
ly in New York.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Every inordinate cup is unolesse"'
and the ingredient is devil
--OthellO.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
BEHIND THE SCENES.

Il see where a prominent politician
and his wife went to a polling place to-
gether and voted"
Now that's the way for married peo-
pie to actr'
Apparently so. But nobody knows
what acrimonious debate as to the mer-
its of respective candidates may have
occurred before they left home
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
ALABAMA PRESS

Troy Messenger: Constantinople has
been promised to Russia, says a mem
Der Of the Russian Duma. That ought
to be encouraging news to Turkey, in
that 1T predicts her dismemberment
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Huntsville Mercury: The statement of
the state pension committee that 800 old
Confederate Veterans and widows of vet
Grams had died during the last three
months shows how rapidly the old SOL
diers are answering the roll CALI over
yonder.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
IT ISN'T 50 Now.

Times have changed"
"Yes?"
In the old days if you had asked
society dame if she danced the hula
hula, she would have felt ihsulted."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Selma Times: An Atlanta newsie was
arrested and fined for selling newspapers
containing liquor ads. 1t doesn't look
fair to pounee on the smallest culprit
in the herd.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
TIME TO QUIT THEN.

do you expect to spend your wnole
life in the wicked pursuit of riches?'
asked the ascetic person.
NO" replied the brisk individual. III
I'm not rich by the time I reach 80 years
of age, I shall consider myself an igno-
BILE failure
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Another feudist has bitten the dust in
kentucky, but this time United States
marshal fired the fatal shot feudist
VINO allows himself to be killed by an or-
iicer of the law is considered by friends
and enemies alike to have died a failure
although the British and French re-
port big gains nearly every day, there is
no getting around the fact that the Ger
mans still occupy considerable slice of
french soil and they continue absolute
masters of Belgium
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

ne won't go SO far as to adopt passionate
plaids and the conventional links lope.
revelations regarding the operations of
a band of alleged blackmailers show
that wealthy old fellows who flirt with
pretty women will sooner or later get
themselves into peck of trouble.
Illinois tractors are helping the British
to win trenches from the Germans, hut
they are doing their best work on the
farms of the middle west.
When Petrograd is silent it isn't
usually a mysterious reticence. More
often than not, the Russians have suf-
fered a backset
An Indiana man claims to have read
the New Testament 90 times. He prob
ably doesn't care for the works of In
diana authors.
* u *
New York parents oppose the opening
of public schools next week. Their at
titude is no doubt Endorsed by the chill
dren.
According to the latest reports. villa
views battles from distance. He must
be studying the tactics of European gen
erals
The season is at hand when the mar.
| ried man of moderate means begins te
experiment with temperamental fur.
mace.
| Europe is producing a crop of wooder
crosses such as the world has never see,
before. but that isn't anything to bras
about
| The firing squads are working overtime
| in Mexico, but there seems little dimin,,
ton in the pernicious activity of ban
| dts.
4 u
How the little towns must envy tn,
| larger cities able to indulge in a white
slave sensation once or twice a year.
The rumor that Mr.. Hughes will let hi.
@hiskers flourish again may possibly
ALLEVIATE few barber votes
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
LOOKING BACK

LOOKING BACK.
Time was when the rebate
Flourished everywhere;
Deemed an institution
Great beyond compare
Sooth, you should not wonder
When shipper says.
AS he ponders sadly,
Those were good. old days.
EXCEPTIONAL CHARACTER.
."Abou ben Adhem. who loved his fell
low man, had nothing on Dubwaite
How is that?"
IT have actually seen Dubwaite display
a friendly interest in a pair Of plumbers
who were mending a pipe at his house
although he knew he would have to pay
five times what the job was worth"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Bibulous individuals suffer great hard
SHIPS While travelling through dry
states on transcontinental lines-unless
they have forethought enough to carry
along private flask to sustain them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange cohhee~
deuartmentsC Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

Entered at the Birmingham Ala
postoffice as second class mstter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-09-20

$500
ceptionally attractive fair. The agri-
cultural exhibits
Opening Date of will be large and
Fair Not Far Off will give some
idea of the prog
ress of crop diversification in Ala
bama.
Especially interesting will be the
live stock exhibits. AS valuable as
the cattle section was last year the
display next month promises to sur
pass it.
Many of the exhibits will be in
stalled several days ahead of time and
not one will be day late. The man
agement is offering cash prizes to
every agricultural exhibitor who will
have in place whatever he has to show
ID hours ahead of time.
The races will be we'll worth while
and the free. acts" will exceed in
thrill any amusement features ever
| seen at fair in the SOUTH
Out-of town visitors will come by
the thousands and the people of Bir-
mingham should show their apprecia-
ton of the efforts of President R. A.
Brown and his executive committee to
maintain high standard for Bir-
mingham's greatest annual event by a
record breaking attendance.
1HHERE is evidently no lack of stir
u at Hughes headquarters in New
York where Chairman Wilcox and
his associates are working overtime,
but some earnest adherents of the re-
publican party
Republicans Remark are complaining
Apathy in Campaign that apat y
! is notice BIZ
among the rank and file. A few days
ago an old citizen wrote to the New
York Sun suggesting that marchi1g
clubs such as were popular in 1850
and in many subsequent campaigns be
formed forthwith in behalf of Hughes.
This plea for q revival of marching
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-26
LET EVERY CITY HAVE ABATTOIR

lied and clearly competent inspectors
before being offered for sale as food
Prevent Combinations
The establishment Of municipal
abattoirs," said Col Pryor. beside pro-
ylding for sanitary meats. viii make
impossible q combination OF individuals
having for its object the manipulation
or control of the privilege Of providing
meat foods for such cities as have mu-
nlclpal ahattOirS. and make II lmposSi-
bic also for a combination against live
stock producers in the vicinity in which
the city or town is located in the mat
Urge system.
Il would suggest that this association
ADOPT resolution urging each state
orSanlzatiOn represented at this con-
Nenuon take this matter up in their
respective states and to make q vigor-
Gus and systematic effort TO bring all
me principal cities Of their respective
states 10 realize the Importance OF
system Of municipal abattoirs with
ilslu local Inspection.
Stimulate Livestock Industry.
SuGh system viii encourage and
Simulate the livestock producers or
us country 10 a point where they viii
-. - uIe Ihey have voice IN the dls-
posltlOn or the products OF their farms
dl1 ranches, so far as prices are con-
e.SLreu. IL viii increase very mate
- Ile number OF livestock markets
, ~ me United states and win lessen the
~ pOItunity for any individual, firm
or corporation to dictate on the one
nahu, what the feeder shall receive for
- pIoHuct and on the other hand,
80 ,ue consumer must paw for MS
oeel' pork OF mutton. This should not
llSSessafl4y increase the price to the
.tll slIner, but would give full sway 70
supply and demand
No Fight on Packers.
nave no special fight to make on
the packers. They are z necessity and
70 eliml nat them would be a step back
W, " ~ a. mere Is business eEOuCh along
ti ~ 4.ls 1I supplying meat products for
me the world To furnish occupation for
sne great packing houses as well as
Tor the municipal abattoirs I hope to
80 go 20, isned ia every city through
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-26
Alkali in Soap
Bad For the Hair

Soap should be used very carefully, if
you want to keep your hair looking its
best. Most soaps and prepared sham
poos contain too much alkah- This
dries the scalp, makes the hair brittle,
and ruins il.
The best thing for steady use is Just
ordinary mulsified cocoanut oil (Which
IS pure and greaseless). and is better
than the most expensive soap or any
thing else YOU can use
one or two teaspoonfuls Will cleanse
the hair and scalp thoroughly Simply
moisten the hair with water and rub it
IN II makes an abundance Of rich,
creamy lather, which rinses out easily.
removing every particle of dust. dirt,
dandrutf and excessive oil. The hair
dries quickly and evenly. and il leaves
the scalp soft and the hair fine and
silky, bright, lustrOus, fluffy and easy
to manage.
You can get mulsified cocoanut oil at
any pharmacy. it's very cheap. and a
few ounces will supply every member
OF the family for months.-Adv.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-26
TAKE LIME FOR TUBERCULOSIS

In the Journal of the American
Medical Association duly -, 1912, Page
3OSD- Dr. g. =. Olsen, Of MinnenpoIis.
holds that n deficiency of calcium,
nfmeD Is responsible for the physical
conditions which lead 10 tubercaIOSis-
land the therapy he advocates rests
ON this basis.-
One Of the reasons for the wide
spread success OF Eckman's Alterafive
in the treatment of tuberculosis is its
ability to supply this deficiency If
contains a lime salt in such combine
ton with other valuable agents 40 fo
be easily assimilated by the AVERAGE
yielded to it
We make no exaggerated claims for
IT, but prefer that il be tried on the
same basis as any other prescriDtion
and since it contains no opiates mar,
cotics or habit-forming drugs. II is afa
From your druggist or direct.
EcI1man Laboratory, PhiIadeIphIa.
Sold by Kelly & Pollard. KnobIaucb
Drug Co. Peoples Drug Store and lead
ing druggists.
Advertisement
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-26
Ike Pryor Hopes to See Day
When Every City viii
Have Killing Plant.

Col. Ike Pryor urged every delegate
TO go back home and insist that his
city install municipal abattoirs. He
said he hoped TO see the establishment
of municipal abattOirs in every city or
the country. His address was made
Wednesday before the convention.
The burden OF Col PryOr's address
was the advantage 10 be gained BY
livestock PRODUCERS. as well as by con-
sumers of meats, through the establish
ment Of municipal abattOirs TO take the
place OF the large packing plants az
least SC far as supplying meats for To-
cal consumption might be concerned.
He urged the delegates to the conven-
tiOn 10 use every honest endeavor pos
sible to have the governments of the
principal cities OF the United States
pass ordinances providing for the cree
ton Of slaughter houses to be conduct
ed under municipal control and making
it obligatory that all animals intended
for slaughter be inspected on the hoof
and again on the hook by duly author
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-01-26

CHWO illustrated lectures were given
Tuesday evening in the ballroom
Il OF the Paso del Norte hotel, Dr.
C.. d. Marsh, psychologist Of the United
states department Of agriculture,
speaking upon Prevention Of Losses Of
livestock by Poisonous Plants" and
-'Hvbrids in Central Asia" by DR.. c.
c. Young. OF Belen, Tex The attend
ance was representative and keen IN
terest was shown by the spectators IN
the Interesting facts presented by the
two authorities, the federal expert pre-
senting technical yet interesting facts;
the other dealing with a remote coun-
try in an imaginative way.
Feed Stock.
The best prevention for stock eating
OF poisonous plants" said Dr. Marsh,
is TO feed them. The next best is to
upt sheep on land where cattle and
horses fare badly and cattle on land
where sheep fare badly.
Among the unique facts presented
by this speaker was that livestock. win
the possible exception OF an enthusiasm
for the loco weed, seldom eat poison
Gus vegetation If they can get any
thing else. AS illustrative Of this ne
spoke OF the wholesale death Of 500
sheep in one OF the northwestern states
who ate lupine after being unloaded
and as they followed a trail They
eat of the lupine," he said. because
they were hungry and II was Iresh
and green. Had there been something
else on hand perhaps they would not
have eaten of the plant and died
Est Poison Plants When Starved
Frequently we hear Of one sheep
drive going along a trail and coming
through uccessfully-then a second
drive where a great number of the
sheep die; and third AFTER mat IN
which the sheep. II hardy come through
all right Why is this2 Simple enough
The first batch eat up the healthy
vegetation The second have only the
poisonous plant The third have moth
ing.
Now. as It is a huge problem 10 dig
I'D the poisonous plants on the ranges
because of the vastnses Of those ranges,
the stockman must face his problem IN
another way. and that way as see II
Is a sort of rotation. There are certain
plants that cattle viii not eat and sheep
wiz: there are on the other hand,
certain plants that the sheep VIII not
eat and the cattle will I do not say
that we have reached the point where
we can rotate with much success; but
certainly if larkspur is injurious 10
cattle and not to sheep. then why not
let the sheep Craze in those lands ana
the cattle IN others.
Poisonous at Certain Times
AN interesting thing We discovered
in our work was that many OF the
plants said to be poisonous are only
poisonous at certain times It is the
seed Of the 1upine' that does the dead
" work and that when the plant ma
lures: while iarkspur is not poisonous
10 sheep, and horses are poisoned by II
but rarely on the range"
Among the poisonous plants that
were shown by way Of slide were the
wild cherry. with its tincture OF prusslc
acid; the water hemlock that has the
elements Of a poison that dates back
10 the fatal CUP of the Greek prisons;
the death camis. which is most deadly
in springtime, when II has fresh-