davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
William Drady,M.D.
Constipation and Efficiency.

From the title you may imagine we
are going to utter some impressive
ideas about the bad effects Of constipa-
ton on the health. If so you are mis-
taken. We delight in the unexpected
- we reyel In 1t, as some OF our read
ers probably know by now.
Sometimes constipation seems to
make one feel rotten. Apology for
the word is hastily offered, but it is the
only brief way to express the idea.
When a patient comes to the doctor
and says he feels rotten, the doctor
knows just what he means. and pages
Of description could not add to the
clarity of the idea. Constipation
sometimes seems to do that, we say.
But it only seems so. Things have the
most annoying way OF being some
thing else than what they seem, in
medicine. II doctors accepted symp-
toms and appearances without care
full scrutiny of all the concomitant
conditions, medicine would indeed be
q very ineKact science.
That constipation does not injure
the health in itself, that it occurs
in thousands of individuals without
any apparent i'll consequences, every
doctor knows. There are people who
go through life always constipated,
and doing you might say nothing at
all about 1t, and yet always maintain
a high degree of general good health.
So. Then why so many remedies
| for constipation?
There is one thing doctor, or a
! friend, or most anybody can always
do if he doesn't know what else to dc
| for an ailing individual-he can sug-
gest a physic. Some old trilobite
once remarked that half the battle
against disease consisted in keeping
the head cool and the bowels active
and most people have taken the phil
osophy literally, as to the latter part
A great many minor and major i'll
nesses are accompanied with inactive
bowels. The inactivity is as often &
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Sidelights on the European War

and who had $500 In his possession
was more likely to come to Japan to
look for a wife
More Japanese tourists visited Ja>
pan last year than ever before and
the decline Of the picture bride sys-
TEN had a great deal to do with this.
Even more would have come had there
been enough steamships on the Pa
cific to bring all over that applied for
passage. A special appeal was made
at one time to s. Asano, president of
the Togo Kisen Kaisha, asking him to
send a special ship to Honolulu, to
carry many Japanese who were anx-
ious to visit their home country. This
appeal could not be granted and in
connection with the coronation more
than 1000 Japanese were disappoint-
ed in Honolulu alone. 1t is believed
that many Of them wished to select
wives during their visit here.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Selected by Tavenner

that the war shall never end until the
last foot of land has been regained.
THE man who played cards was
court-martialed," said Cabby. HE was
shot that night"
During the spring rains the sector
of the line on which Cabby was sta
toned became a mere sopby morass
and at last the men could endure 1t no
longer.
For six days" said Cabby. I'VE had
been standing in mud up to our
breasts. The Germans were just as
badly off. We could not sit down or
sleep"
An informal armistice was arranged
In an hours time the neutral ground
between the trenches was filled with
rejoicing men Of both sides. Fires
were lighted and the mud baked until
| it could be eaked off, and some warmth
was coaxed into the chilled bodies.
I'VE all looked alike" said Cabby
l"Often we would say to a man we met:
Are you French or German"
That drying party was winked al
| by superior officers on both sides until
| the mud filled trenches could be drain
ed Then the men returned to theiI
wallows and took up the pastime OF
andy-overing hand grenades at each
other.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

Alexandria, Egypt. - Correspond
ence of The Associated Press. )-Ac
cording to reports received here 400
600 persons in Jerusalem are now re
ceiving daily rations from the Ameri-
can Relief fund.
A woman engaged in relief work
there writes:
Everything costs four times as
much as before, so you can imagine
what state the people are in. Our
children look like skeletons. Bread
Is very dear and the pieces are very
small. All the fathers have been TAX
en- away for soldiers and the mothers
are miserable and weak"
An English woman who has arrived
here from Palestine by way of Cyprus
states that the Turks fully expect that
the allies will invade the country and
are devoting much energy TO prepare
tons to repel them. They have con-
structed numerous military roads
They have fortified the Mount Of Olives
"''' heliave that they have made it
impregnable.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
StrychBine Tablets.

Is one-thirtieth grain strychnine
sulphate in tablet a good remedy to
strengthen the heart? 10 it dangerous
in any way?
Answer-No, It is not heart slim
ulant, but an EXETER of the nervous
system. II taken frequently it makes
one very nervous. 1t is really a very
inefficient. drug. The chief danger,
and real one, is that baby will get
hold Of the tablets, swallow a few
and die in commissions. The poison
Gus character Of strychnine far out
weighs any feeble stimulating effects
it may have. 1t certainly does not
add strength to the heart or any other
part of the body. 1t is Just a whip and
nothing more.
Will the following correspondents
please write again and enclose stamp
ed addressed envelopes for private
reply: NJ. A. F., Mrs L. s., G. A. R.,
c. g. A, Miss NJ. L. c., J. r. NJ, VIM.
G., NJ. j., J. D. R., S. S. s.. Mrs L. A. H,
Mrs. s. M. NJ s., Waterford, s. NJ. G.,
Miss B N, C. A. M, F. A. H., L. ",
McC., Mrs. G., E. L., H. B., Mrs. H.
F. R.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

! result, as cause, of the "rotten"
feeling. A physic may. indeed, just
make the patient feel worse than be-
fore.
The truth, toward which we are
edging as unobstrusively as may be,
Is this: The way to overcome the
temptation to take pill or something
on the slightest provocatlOn. Leave
the bowel function to Nature-she
| will take care OF 1t all right, even if
she is a little slow in resuming her
duty. You can't expect her to be very
enthusiastic after all the years YOU
have ignored her. When cofronted
| with a dilemma, give Nature the
| benefit of the doubt.
That is to say, don't take a pill.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
TAVENNER AND THE WAR TRUST

pie to situation deliberately ignored
by the former and unsupported by the
latter. The result has been that the
senate has passed a bill authorizing
the expenditure of 81 100000 on a
government plant to manufacture
armor plate, and has brought down
upon Mr.. Tavenner the bitter hatred
Of the war trust.
So cunning are these war lords and
so resourceful, that every effort is
made by them to break down Mr.. Tav-
enner and his position. To success
fully fight this malta requires constant
care not to be caught in compromis-
ing position. Hence, at times it is nee.
essary to do things not understood by
his constituents, but having in view
the larger benefit of his country.
This visitor met many prominent
congressman from all over the country
who spoke in the highest praise Of
Congressman Tavenner and his work
He commands the respect of all and IL
a force in congress.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
War Helps Second Hand Business.

London.-One of the most curious
results Of the war is a veritable boom
in the second hand piano business.
The reason for this is that the work
of making munitions for the men at
the front has enabled so many people
to think of piano who never thought
they would own one and their added
income is just enough for them to af-
ford an old instrument.
Less than two years ago" explain
ed dealer, pianos, If more than 20
years old, were a real drug on the
market and many had to be sold at
firewood prices. Now we dealers can
not get enough Of them to sell for very
fair prices. l paid customer the
same price for a piano that he paid
me for 1t 16 years ago"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
on LONG VIEW HILLS.

On the smiling slopes of Long View,
Looking down the wondrous west,
There's lovely maid sits dreaming
The one love the best,
For her locks are tangled sunbeams,
Her deep eyes are heavens blue.
And her lips are new-hlown fiow'rlets,
On the fair slopes of Long View.
On the fairy slopes of Long View,
She, perchance, will talk with you,
If you'll WOO her. lowly listening,
To enchanted lore, and true;
For she is mystic being,
Pure and beautiful as dew;
Poesy, maid Of magic beauty,
On the fair hills of Long View.
G. Nj. f.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
STILL THE BOWERY.

New York city has decided not to
change the name of the Bowery and
the Bowery 1t will remain for a time
at least.
Business men located on the Bow
cry wanted to change the name Of the
thoroughfare to Fourth avenue, or
Central Broadway, because Of the as
sociations of the old name. For years,
SAYS a real estate dealer, it has been
difficult to sell real estate on the
Bowery or to obtain mortgage loans
because of prejudice against the
name. A large wholesale firm on the
Bowery with a back entrance on
Elizabeth street, uses the Elizabeth
street number entirely for It's bust
ness and telephone address. Other
firms keep the Bowery address or
their wagons. A retail clothing deal
er who had been in business 90 years
recently gave up his store because he
said customers objected TO wearing
clothes with the Bowery tag on them,
this despite the fact that he was care
full TO keep the Bowery address from
his delivery packages. Real estate
men complain of loss OF clients for
office and loft buildings because GUS
toners say they can not do business
at a Bowery address.
The proposal to change the name
has excited ridicule from persons who
recall the ancient history Of the
street The Bowery is one Of New
York's oldest streets, rich in tradi-
ton and historic associations. The
name dates from 1866 when an Indian
attack led TO concentration OF early
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
By +. A. Mitchell.

Why charge my wife more than
mef"
People only value what costs them
something. A woman is always bound
to get the full value of her money. II
your wife pays a good sum for my
advice she will be more apt to fol-
low Ii. The man is mofe~liable to act
upon the value Of what he receives as
he sees it,
you surely know your sex"
I'VE women all know one another"
Before I left Miss links I handed
her five dollar bill and gave her my
home address, asking her for the med
icine. But she said prescription
would be sent in due time. Squabbles
was plural disease; no one could
have 1t without inoculating some one
else. The cure must therefore be plu-
raj. I saw the point and submitted
to be guided by Miss Jinks' method.
left her trusting that her efforts to
cure my wife would be successful.
Since all our difficulties were her fault,
the treatment would naturally pertain
to her. Miss links did not gainsay
this: she only smiled wizened smile
A few days after this my wife In
formed me that she was going to make
a tour In the car and would be gone
all day. Since 1t was a days ride to
and from the domesteopath's assumed
that she was going there. She return
ed without saying where she had been,
but noticed that when found fault
with her for concealing her doings she
refrained from answering back.
The next morning received by mail
prescription from Miss Jinks: Look
for the fault within yourself"
To make long story short, Miss
Jinks had given me and my wife the
same prescription. 1t struck US on
consideration that the prescription was
worth what we paid for it. and I OBJ
served the treatment on this account
Julia observed it because she didn't
propose Ito pay out $40 for nothing"
We have kept up Miss Jinks' treat
| ment from that day TO this, and no
household Is happier.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
The Daily Story
Miss Jinks Domesteop ath BY +. A. Mitchell

One spring morning WINE touring In
my car 1 passed a little house stand
ing a short distance back from the
road to which was nailed a sign, Miss
links, Domesteopath."
Now, I had often heard of the aIlo-
path, hydrepath, osteopath and other
schools, but never before had l seen
the word domesteopath. l drove on,
wondering what 1t meant my curiosity
rising with every mile l receded from
it till could stand it no longer Then
l turned, rode back to the house, left
my car in the road and went up to
the door. There was no bell, but an
old fashioned iron knocker, represent
ing the face of q smiling girl. / rap
ped.
A lady came to the door who was
In appearance as unintelligible as the
sign. She might have been fifty, yet
she was dressed like a girl OF sixteen.
While her face and figure smacked Of
youth, it at the same time smacked of
age. I asked If she was DR.. Jinks.
She said she was Miss links and In
vited me into a coy consulting room.
What is your speciality" I asked
her.
"Squabbles, she said in a cracked
voice as peculiar as her appearance.
"Souabbles? l never heard of that
disease"
Its universal. Every one suffers
from 1t more or less"
What are the symptomsT'
ut comes largely from overstrained
nerves. Sometimes it Is reasonable,
though usually unreasonable. 1t is
most common between husband and
wife, for the reason that a man is a
man, while a woman is half child"
What! You, woman, make that
statementT
"A man living with a woman she
went on, SIS continually in the pres
ence Of being made up entirely diff
ferent from himself, and vice versa.
Therefore they are subject at all times
to the disease Of which l make a spe-
cialty-squabbles."
"Oh, see! Well, don't know that
my wife and ! have any more Of that
disease than the average couple. At
the same time
The last four words were enough for
Miss links. She told me of difiicul-
ties had with my wife with as much
exactness as II she had been a mem
Der Of my family. They were not seri-
Gus, but annoying, and sometimes Dor
dered on what might be called quar-.
relsome.
And you eradicate these difficulties,
these squabbles, as you call themT'
Wherever l can get my patients to
take my medicine"
What Is your treatment?
THAT Is my secret II you desire
me to treat you and your wife / shall
charge you fee TO begin with
You would need to call upon my
WIFE" I interrupted, "and | don't see
what reason could be offered for do,
ing So
Not at all. Your wife will call
on me-"
How do you make out thatT
Give ME your address and I will
send her my card"
How would that effect the pur.
pose?"
What led you to make this visitr'
Curiosity"
VIII you deny that your wife has
less curiosity than you:"
"on the contrary. she has ten times
as much as l."
She need not know you have been
here. AS | was about TO say when
you interrupted me. shall charge you
consulting fec Of SIS aud will charge
your wife fee Of Slo."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
knowledge.

knowledge is comfortable and nee
essary retreat and shelter for us in ad-
yanced age, and if We do not plant it
while young it will give us no shade
when We grow old.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Daily History Class-Apra 8.

16S5-C Catherine |. OF Russia was hHrn:
died 1877, empress 1925. Cattle
rine l. succeeded Peter the Great.
1794-Danton, Camille DeSmoulins and
other Jacobins In the French revo-
luton guillotined at Paris.
1S65-General Lees Confederate army
began its. historic retreat toward
Appomattex.
19l5-Tte British hattleship Lord Mel
son was DESTROYED by Turks In
Dardanelles strait.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
PAVLOWA is writing a series of ar

PAVLOWA is writing a series of ar
ticles telling us how to have beautiful
feet Well, these are about the only
two points OF the anatomy that have
not been exploited through the press
by beauty doctors. But here Is a sub
ject that Pavlowa claims to have a toe
hold on that none OF her contemporary
les can boast J. Nj
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Ching to Send Military Attaches.

Peking.7-Military attaches are to be
sent to the Chinese legations at Wash
ington, London, Paris, Petrograd, Ber-
lin and Toxic. The attaches will be
military officials below the rank of
colonel with sufficient knowledge of
foreign languages to qualify them for
the posts, Some difficulty is being ex-
perienced In finding officers suitable
for the places.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
cH0RD@ a NJ
DISCO r. DS

"A ROCK Island man has married
a woman weighing 6l5 pounds. He at
least Is to be congratulated for TAX
ing unto himself spouse who can
be shipped at less than carload rates,
observes the Peoria Transcript.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Life's Little FabricatOrs.

Lies Little FabricatOrs.
Il wish you would invite the Browns
and their three children over to din
ner some night, dearie. l do so love
to have children around the house
And Brown is so interesting. He also
brings his own cigars with him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
JUST so.

JUST so.
The onion differs
From the peach.
Few people of
The onion screech,
In rhyme or song.
But fortune always
Makes amends
And those who are
The onions friends
Are for 1t strong
Louisville Courier-Journal
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
inst as Good.

Did he leave footprints on the sands
of timer
NO, but they took his thumb prints"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

ERNEST Schiller, the German who
single handed captured the British
steamer MatOppO, is not to be prose-
Gated in New York. Cap Kidd had his
gang with him when he executed jobs
similar to that pulled by Schiller.
Nerve is usually rewarded in this
country. Thus, 1t would seem the Just
thing to do would be to naturalize En-
nest and put him In charge of one OF
our new submarines.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Alexander Pope.

Pope's features were small and deli
cate. All his life he was very pale
and looked sickly.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

ACCORDING to evidence brought
out in the Patten suit in Chicago
court, Wine of Cardui has been giving
Peruna chase for favor in
southern dry states. Two witnesses
from North Carolina said there was
asreasoR. The reason, they explained,
lay in the stronger spark possessed by
w. of C. A spark Is defined as a kick.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

HOWARD Chandler Christy, the
artist, has sued his wife for divorce.
He alleges gross neglect of duty. Her
offense probably consists in not being
able longer to offer inspiration for his
work. Artists must have their inspir-
alton, you know.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
Famous Clans.
Colonel House.
Justice Hughes.
Mississippi.

A DOUBLE play, Herr Pfabe to Old
Bill Schmacht, is responsible for the
new heading for the column this p. m.
II the customers have any objections
they are asked to register them with
out delay. Pfabe and Schmaeht have
other designs. The one who fills this
space offered suggestions for what in
his judgment would serve as more
artistic heading, but he was unani-
mously overruled, as is usually the
case when an ordinary layman as
sumes to cope in judgment with a
highbrow mechanic. OF course we sub
mitted, inasmuch as Old Bill Schmacht
gets the last crack at the column every
day, and if We were SO indiscreet as
to incur his displeasure there is no
telling what he might do to us in en-
barrassing us with our large and
growing audience.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

RODDY Wannamaker says he is
ready to fly across the Atlantic II the
$4,000 offer of Lord Northcliffe still
stands. Roddy really doesn't need
the money, but he wants to be in a
position to refuse to make the attempt
If he learns that the prize has been
withdrawn.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

BILLY Sunday has invited President
Wilson to "hit the trail" at Philadel-
phia next Sunday. The president de.
clined, explaining that he had a trail
of his own that he was trying to per
suade some Of his belligerent coun-
trymen to hit.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

OF course your men won yesterday
Even if they didn't you might as well
say they did. 1t is so much more pleas.
ant.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

WAIT until your neighbor begins
cleaning house before setting fire to
your rubbish pile. lie will have the
windows all up and his carpets. etc,
IN the yard and the smoke will at
least be reminder that he Is not the
only one In the vicinity who is re-
spending to the cleanup campaign.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

IF it had rained last night the Rock
Island vets would have been in posi-
ton to have claimed that even the
elements were with them.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

WHILE discussing preparedness
you may or may have not overlooked
the statement in the society columns
the other evening that following q
Rock Island wedding ceremony the
guests Clipped In for "War fund.-"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05
THE ARGUS.

Rock Island Member Associated Press.
Full Leased Wire Report.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

Audit Bureau of Calculations.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-05

Telephones in all departments. Cen
trail Union. Rock Island las, LAG and
lat.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1916-12-29
.SLAYERS USE AK
TO MURDER -FOUR
Louisiana Farmer, His Wife and
Two Children Found SIaught-
cred In Bed

MINDEN, Louisiana, December ~
Three negroes. heavily shacklcd. are in
jai here today end the town il wildly
excited following the murder here
Christmas eve Of John N Reeves, a
farmer, and his wife and the wounding
OF three of their sons, aged respectively
eleven years five years, md fifteen
months. Two Of the children are dead
and one * dying. Robbery is believed
to hav" been the motive of the bloody
crime
Another child Of the family, "A boy
seven years old. who awokr Christmas
morning and went to look for his
Christmas presents, discovered the dead
aud wounded members Of the family
CRYING hvstericalIy, the boy ran for
help.
When ncighbors rushed to the house.
they found Reeves dead with his skull
crushed in hy blows of nm axe, the
wife all" dead. having been shot, and
the three children badly Wounded An
axe had been used on them IA it had
on their father
a hest in which Reeves had hOaptpd
that he had $1,000 in cash was rrnptv.
Shortly after the discovery Of the
crime three negroes were arrested NV
the police and hurried to the Jail hpav.
lily mnnncled What evidence the au-
thOrItiPs have against them has not
been disclosed.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1916-12-29
HAPPY
SOUTH OF BORDER
Every One OF the Men Under Per-
shing Is Given WORTH
while Gift

WASHINGTON, December % ---
Christmas eve and Christmas Day were
gala OCCASIONS with the American
troops in Mexico, according "a des-
patches from headquarters Of General
FPrshinR's force in Mrxiro
Every nnn on the expedition, from
the lowliest mule driver to the general,
received q present valued ut two or
three dollars. No work except that alb
solutely necessary was done. With the
singing of carols, the playing of bands,
and athletic contests, the entertain
ments were gay and picturesque. Great
feasts were served in oil the company
messes. For days the army cboks had
been preparing the edibles, including
antelope, turkey, chicken and wild
duck.
On Christmas eve fireworks costing
1900 were set of. The Mexicans gath.
cred in the neighborhoOd Of the camp
wor Q startled Hs the explosions and
flames shooting into the heavens sud
denly broke out on Christmas eve.