The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1916-09-11
Advice to the Newly Married
BY Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. by Frank Crane)

4
Now, young folks, you're just fresh
married, you're as happy as June-bugs,
HE seems one infinite, rimless custard
PIE, and Messrs. Joy and Gladness, so
10 speak, seem to have moved in TO stay,
occupying the front room and being
present at all meals.
Hence open up your ears and hearken
unto your Uncle Dudley while he exudes
few words of three-star wisdom.
I'm not going TO give a lot of advice,
but just one piece, small enough TO take.
TO remember and to PRACTICE
Not being parson, | won't talk too
long, not being an auctioneer won't talk
too loud, and Got being a hoss-trader |
won't say anything that is not so.
So just hold hands spell, withdraw
your beamlng eyes from each others
countenance, move your ears forward,
pointing toward your uncle. and listen.
You're To have trouble. Because you're
human. And man is born TO trouble "a
the sparks fly upward, as the Scripture
says.
You won't always be happy You'll
have your share of weeping. Your hearts
will quake when their turn comes
break, maybe. You, too, will walk the
floor, or lie abed looking red-eyed up at
the dark. just as your mother father,
grandparents and ancestors on back TO
Adam have done.
When that time comes | want you to
remember this one thing your Uncle Dud-
ley told you.
One thing
And worth a million dollars.
II is this. -
Are YOU listening?
DON'T LET ANY TROUBLE GET IN
BETWEEN YOU,
The accent is on the word BETWEEN.
All the trouble in the world IL not 60
ing to bother you so long as 1t is on the
outside.
You'll have enemies, but none Of them
can hurt YOU If they do not get in be-
tween you.
You'll have disappointments, bereave-
ments, disillusions. failures. regrets mis-
takes. angers. and resentmen.s; and you
can resist seven tons Of such stuff pro-
vided you stand together and don't let
any Of il seep in between your two
hearts
Be partners. Be allies and swear
never, either one Of you to make sep
arate treaty with the enemy.
Don't have secrets one from the other.
Organize your own oath-bound secret So
ciety now. Lock yourselves in, and the
rest OF the world out, even darling
mother-in-aw.
Peware Of the Intimate Friend TO
whom YOU are telling things about your
welded companion. Said |. r. has brok-
en- UP more couples than any other known
snake. Be your own Intimate Friends.
Gossip tattle, and tell all you know TO
each other all you please, but not about
each other TO any third party.
Remember that Three is fearful
crowd when it comes to married folk.
The corners Of the Eternal triangle
are both sharp and poison.
! When reverses come. or even poverty,
! loss or debt. just cuddle up closer to-
gether. and you can laugh at them.
Don't let the darkness OF dark days
get in between you and separate you.
Don't let even your children, when they
come and hope there'll be lot OF them,
get between you and ALLEVIATE you. That
sometimes happens. :,
Remembrance thing only I've told
you--write it down and hang 1t up on
your wall:
There's bitterness in this world, but
il can't make us bitter if it doesn't come
between us
You've sworn 'till death do us part,
and for better or for worse" Stick TO II!