The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1916-10-19
FlNNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
Purging ths Heart.

smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
fgesh!a' Jobs cushes foorth for thursty
hut dlshurv!u' Dimycrats. He blows
Oh 4 horn al ivryt1in falls for ut.
If tho people cali him lyer SO soft, Lit
tie Samuel had no quicker ear. An for
sacrynciu' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
be Is Dimocricy's shield an exceedin'
great reward. -
Ills his Presbyterian bringin' up,
I'm thinkin.' Furst he adopts a policy;
thin he thries to justify it, thin he
sanctifies It wild phrase. while a choir
" Deshurvin Dlmmycrats sings a
hymn. An there We are. Justification,
Adoption an Sankty-fcashun.
THE choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Billy
Brine was all in Ut But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
" the life iv the great Idaylist
Harvey wint back to edith an Bill
Brine wint in search iv the Howly
kale. McCOmbs was canned, because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing a
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff ragtime. But Wudthrow die.
grated them all Wild fwhat say ye?
Wild the Order " the Double Cross.
Ohio. mind we'll the time at the
Manh2tta9 CLUB, whin be kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan notion
Now tho ahnit. ho h.
calls the vital stuffs " life Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
W!d Redtield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs " praise,
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow Is fond " music, but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced Clog on
a Washbiler yed niver hear a sound.
We'll, wan night in August the Colo
mel come tiptoein' in through the base
ment dure. o.
"'How's the game, Colonel?' says
Wudthrow. $3.50 the Colonel says.
'Ee might round up few more votes,
says he. scratchin' his ear wild an alb
sent air.
"'Ain't | got the full dinner-pailsT
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. AL
that's forgot the first two year and
half says House pleasantly. Amt .
KEEP EN- out O war?' axes Wudthrow.
Part O the time says House, rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. Amt my voice our
greatest liquid asset?' axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says
House, but lot ~ suckers can't tell
4 asset firm an lrbility,' the Colonel
says.
"'F'what are ye drivin' atT says
wilson, four flushing a little.
"'Arre We watchin' the strike" says
House. Half a millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
"Well, Sir, he left Wudthrow sunk
in profound miditashun. At last he
spakes 4 hear he says, In a low
sweet tone that vice " the people
which is 20 me as the vice Of Car
negie Penshun.' Oh he says, thrillin
in ivry nerve, must indade sacryfice
wan more IDOL says he, on the altar
" me Country" says Wudthrow.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says; an
the Tariff for Rev-nOo.' he says; AN
all me friends, beside says he. six
teen per'fly good Mexican Policies
was not ali thin enoughT he axes In
agony. Butt will purge me Heart iv
ivry pers'nal fought says he, startin'
for bed. An before he retires he takes
a Heart Purge " his own invinshun
the way it'll wurk while he sleeps. I
dinnaw fwhat the purge is. IT'S a
secret
an the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted great sacryfise of pur-
rinciple, dear to his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged sacryfises. So
he sends for House Colonel says
he, "F'what pur-rinciple dyr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincy?" he axes anx-
iously.
whisper says the Colonel And he
said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear, and
faded silently away through the dure.
For wan instant Wudthrow stud
spellbound. Thin he burst into q
whoop; The Ram in the Bushes cries
he wild tears " j'y.
"'Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryise was soiemny-ised
at the Capitol.
1.-THE precision started fom the
White House wild the Prisidint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
an a box iv Safety First matches in
tn other. He was followed by a coon
bearin' four gold pans, and behind
came four Union Chiefs ridin' on milk
white steeds followed be a group "
Railroad Prisidirts, Stock Holders,
Farmers, Shippers and Consumers.
loaded wild chains. After short ser.
mon to Congress on 'Purgin' the
Heart the Prisidint laid the Ram on
til alter, an imprissively stabbed it
wild the four gold pens while the choir
sang Holy, Holy, Holy. The Prisdint
handed the gold pens to the four chiefs
wild a bow; jim Ham lit the wood an