Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1916-08-10

marked Mrs Ross, as they came with.
in sight Of the lights Of the club house
at Clear Lake.
"And those other fellows will be
over an hour late. If they creep at
the pace they started" ehirped Ross,
Enjoying thisT
'Its very inspiring, but in a breath
less sort Of way" responded Mrs.
Ross.
"We've got lots of time to spare.
Wen pass the club house and strike
the paved boulevard leading to the
city. A ten mile spin over that
smooth road will bring out the real
merits Of this elegant machine"
1t did. There was no discounting
the speeding qualities of the automo-
bile. 1t seemed to be possessed with
the speed demon of a professional
racing car.
"0ver a mile a minute, see that !"
exultantly announced Ross, as they
turned around finally to return to the
club house.
why, what is the matter now,
EdgarT" inquired Mrs. Ross, as the
machine, which had hitherto behaved
superbly, began to back, slow down
and pound.
He got out and looked over the
carburetor, radiator and vibrator. He
managed to make the machine cover
about a mile at a snail's pace until
they reached a roadside garage sta
ton. The mechanic came out at the
signaling horn toot.
Something the natter" volun-
teered Ross and the man looked over
the machine.
"Out of juice, that's ALL" he OBJ
served expertly.
Fill her up" ordered Ross and got
out while the man removed the seat
cushion and uncapped the gasoline
tank.
"Phew!" he calculated in a stran-
Cling tone, "get a Whit of that"
Ross applied his face close to the
orifice. He drew back, coughing and
sputtering.
"ChloroformW he suggested in a
suffoeated voice.
"No, ether" corrected the mechanic.
what did you put that stuff in for,
81 didn't. 1 just bought the ma.
chine"
Him muttered the mar artisan
thoughtfully and with a quiet smile.
II see. Doped to SELL"
"What do you mean" inquired
Ross, his spirits sinking.
why, the machine probably won't
go very well on gasoline. That
vaporizing ether, though, is dynamic,
and the fellow who leeced you knew
just how to proportion the mixture.
Don't you try dangerous"
He shot in five gallons of gasoline
and Ross started up the machine. 1t
went, but all it's speed glory had
vanished. 1t crept, creaked. The
crestfallen Ross took a side road to
avoid meeting any of his rival neigh
bors.
what are you going to do, Edgar"
ventured Mrs. Ross.
"I'm going home!" snapped out her
incensed husband. I'm going to get
wood X and chop up this misera-
BILE wreck. Two to one If l don't
take the same instrument and 60
hunting for the villain who f1eeced
1t took three hours to get back
home and then in a drenching down.
pour. Next day Ross sold the car for
what it would bring.
"Oh, Edgar" observed Mrs. Ross
two evenings later, what do you
think? Mrs. Riggs was over today"
"Gloating over their new machine,
[ suppose" growled Ross.
"Not at all. They haven't any ma
chine. The one they used a friend
oaned them for a week, while he was
tut of town. They think ours was a
'ented machine"
Don't undeceive Them" directed
Mr.. Ross humbly. Next time any
leighborly rivalry gets me going,
you'n know It'll"
(Which is a very sensible conclu-
;ion," observed his practical wife.
Killed With Druoned Air