davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03
By DOROTHY DIX.

PAVE women sense Of humor2
II Men contend that they have
= = not Men have frankly admitted
that they do not understand woman's
anatomy. physical or mental but
they've been sure Of one point about
her. and that is that she was made
out OF Adams wishbone and not out
OF his funnybone.
Tradition has it that to tell her q
funny story is like scattering pearls
before swine-that she had 10 have
jokes diagrammed for her. and then
laughed in the wrong place.
This is the way men. who are scin-
tillating wits abroad. who keep the
table in a roar, excuse themselves for
being dull and Erouchy and silent at
the domestic breakfast table. They hold
that a wife is so lacking in a sense OF
humor that she is no good even to try
out new joke on.
Perhaps il has been true that the
woman OF the past had little sense OF
humor and didn't laugh much. They
hadn't much TO laugh about Tears
were their portion. and in our grand
mothers time when women met to-
gether they sat up and told one an
other mournful stories of trouble ana
atIHctlon- and recounted all OF tho
painful details OF sickbeds and death
room scenes
Laugh More Nou.
But the evolution Of women is bring
ing with it an elongation Of their
funny-bone. Their sense OF humor is
beginning to develop. They laugh
more, and now when they meet to-
setner they exchange Jokes instead or
sy mptoms and particulars Of their last
surgical operation, and the difference
comes pretty near 70 measuring the
distance that women have progressed
II shows they are getting a real sense
a sense OF humor is-in its last analy'
Heaven knows that Of all things on
earth women most need this sense or
humor, Perhaps IL is because they
haven't had il that they have made
tragedies out OF things that might have
been turned into comedies.
For instance. the other day the news
papers contained an account Of a wom-
an who had had her husband arrested
for assault and battery. The next day
when she appeared before the judge
with her eyes blackened, minus two
teeth. and with her lip split SO she
could hardly speak. she said that she
desired TO Withdraw her charge
For what reason" inquired the
Judge. ''You seem To me to be about
as bad a wreck as ever appeared before
this court. Isn't il true that your hus-
band inflicted these bruises upon YOU
"Oh, yes, your honor" replied the
woman. But / didn't understand
when my husband beat me and / had
aim arrested that ne was Just playing
a practical Joke upon me / thought
ne was angry and was beating me be-
cause he was mad. III I had under
stood DO was all in fun 7 would never
nave said q word; for, your honor I'm
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03

YOU cried the bunny uncle. so sur
prised that he nearly dropped the dish
OF carrots.
Il thought YOU didn't" grumbled the
COX. sort OF smacking his lips, hum
gry-like. I am giving you a little
surprise"
And not q pleasant one, either"
sadly spoke Uncle Miggily
i s'pose you know what I have
come for" went on the fox III you
don't I'll save you the trouble OF guess
ing. It's YOU.
Me- cried Uncle WiEgiIy. pretend
ing 10 be astOnished
Yes. you. I want you to come 10
dinner with me"
But my dinner IS already cooking
here" spoke Uncle Nigeily- All /
have TO do is TO put the carrots IN
the soup for Nurse Jane. and
no matter You come with me-
cried the foxs
oh. deaf Well. I suppose ] must
the bunny gentleman said. sad-like
and resigned. But viii You first let
me put the carrots in the soup, 50
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03

Figure =. Photographic plate on
which new aster0id is discovered The
dots are faint stars. The moving aSte-
rOid has photographed itself as n short
trail within the circle at 4.
appeared below the horizon. The whole
south and east are filled with the great.
Ialnt groups Of Ophiuchus- SerDens and
Hercules, while the wonderful and com
nieX summer branch Of the Milky Way
enclrcles the whole eastern area Of the
heavens from the south 10 the north.
me most interesting OF the new ar
rivals is, without doubt. the beautiful
Sc0rplos which, with its deep reddish
star at A (figure ID and its striking
oand or bright stars at d forms the
most beautiful OF all our summer con-
stellauOns- In early times the stars
at 3 and c formed the Claws OF the
scorpion and were therefore a part OF
the constellation, but these We're after
ward removed TO form the single group
Libra thus greatly mutilating the orig
maj nearly perfect figure
To the beautiful. glowing Antares
Iylng so near the path OF the sun and
SHINING so consplcuously in the sum-
mer heavens. there are naturally in
Vulnerable references among all earlier
peoples Many Of the Greek temples
were orlented to IT, in Egypt II was
the symbol Of Isis. while in China. as
the Fire star" il was for centuries
invoked for protection against fire.
Antares is a beautiful double star
-L- q AloAH4 e-Lt4E 4dEEe Telescope It's
companion IS Of a green color, which
during the last century has shown no
trace Of any motion around the prin-
cipaI star. There is no doubt. how
ever that the two suns form a sys-
ten, Just as the earth and moon do.
Tor Autares is very slowly drifting
over the face Of the heavens and car
rylng the companion with it, the time Z
required for the companion to revolve /
once about the larger star is, however.
doubtless tens Of thousands OF years
and possibly much longer.
There are many such majesticallv 4
SLOW moving systems now known. bus I
the science OF exact astronomy is still /
50 young that we know but little of
their true natures The astronomers
OF today can only secure very exact-
measures Of their present positions.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03
Bedtime Story For the Little Ones
UNCLE wIGGILY AND The CARROT.
by HOWARD R. GARIS.

6GEV YELL. there" cried Nurse
NJ Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy, the
muskrat lady housekeeper.
as she stood in the msddle Of the kitch-
er floor Of the hollow stump farm
house. and looked at a pot boiling on
the stove Z might have known I'd
forget something,"
What have you forgotten now
asked Uncle Wiggily Longears, the
rabbit gentleman Didn't you make a
fire IN the stove before you began 70
cook the dinner, Miss Fuzzy Wuzzy2"
oh, did that part all rightr' said
she But I forgot to get any carrots
for the soup"
'Ha. Carrotsi Soup cried Uncle
Nlggily. say no more. You shall have
All the carrots you want Don't you
know that 1 raise carrots on my farm,
as well as onions, potatoes and cab
bage?"
"Oh, so you do" said Nurse Jane.
You see you have only been a farmer
such short time that I am not yet
used to thinking of you as SUCH" and
the muskrat lady spoke almost like a
telephone girl when she wants TO get
your number.
I'll go over to my carrot patch,
where they are growing just like tin
soldiers in row. spoke Uncle Wig
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03
The Starry Heavens In June
ByPaOTso poo1rns ahsUaaB aRa4yma.

-HE last few months have been
noteworth ones because Of the re-
\ markedly large numbeT Of bright
planets which shoLe in the evening sky
Indeed, at one time. every one Of the
five naked-eye planets might have been
seen in the early evening. and doubt
less there are many readers Of these
monthly papers who derived much
pleasure from studying these most in
teresting worlds in the telescope and
from watching their continual and va
rious motions among the winter con-
stenations
The first deserted from this company
OF beautiful worlds was the planet
Jupiter, which withdrew from the eve
ming sky on April l. but at this time
Venus was nightly becoming so very
brilliant in the west where also Mars
and Saturn shone brightly, that the alb
sence OF the Giant Planet was hardly
noticed On May i, also, Mercury ran
sc unusually far upward IN the eve
ing sky that with but little effort this
most brilliant silyery world could be
detected and examined in the telescope.
The spectacle presented in the even
ing heavens at this time FAR surpassed
that Of the morning sky, where Jupi-
ger Felgned alone. pouring out It's
steady golden radiance until the com ,
ing OF the dawn
But these conditions will very quick
" be completely reversed. Already
Mercury is again lost in the suns rays,
and even the very brilliant Venus viii
become quite invisible 10 US during the
present month. though il Will not enter
the morning sky until July s. Saturn
VIII follow on July u, and from this !
cate on Of all the five brilliant worlds. I
tne single planet Mars will alone be I
ieIt with US This little planet how
ever, runs so very rapidly eastward +
tnat II VIII not be overtaken by the 7
sun ana so become a morning star IN 1
III February %, 1917.
The June stars.
II is IN this. the first Of our. sum
mer months. that the fainter constel-
latlons are seen for the first time in
Inc year To predominant on the face
OF our evening heavens It is true ]
tnat the bright winter groups Of Gem
I'M and Leo still finger with US. but
these are far in the west and the for
mer- indeed, has more than half dis I
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03
What Happened To Jane
BY Virginia Terhune Van de Water.
jontinued from previous pagel

Ncohtihued from previous page)
room At.the door she paused. some
lhlng was moving in that great room.
She Calls Loud.
augustus" she called Why didn't
she hear him breathing @Augustust''
On Cod She would go crazy il he did
NOT speak she must wake him-musr
speak 70 living person.
In the darkness she staggered to-
ward his bed Here il was She had
run fuu against the side OF IT. Angus
tus was here She touched him. He
did not move.
augustus she screamed. She
caught him by the shoulder tried 10
Lnd MS face that she might awaken
nlm-then her hands slipped into
something thick and warm-sorne-
lning that was flowing down from his
throat over the bed.
With a shrek as Of some mad
creature she fled from the room. As
she reached the hall a shadow form
caught AZ her-but with another
shrek she rushed downstairs and out
into the night.
Through the storm she ran. gasp
ing weeping repeating over and
over, oh God, On Godr' Her heart
Deat suffocatingly, her mouth tasted
a. u u were full Of blood But she
cCuldnt stop Was IT following herr
On, she must rum She must rum
she had come 10 the lane leading
10 her old home Down this she sned
tnrousn lhe gate and I'D the short
path TO the house She threw herself
against the door, beating upon il with
both hands
Mother. Father" she sobbed-
Quick; Quick
The door was opened from within
and Ezra Hardy stood there, a lighted
lamp in his hand
.What'-he began
But his question was checked by a
sasping cry as his daughter fen
5enseless at his feet
To BE Continued.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03

not one Of those women who have no
sense OF humOr and can't take a joke
Think. If this spirit could become
universal among women. how benefit
cent would be its result Take the
matter Of the drunken husband. for
instance We all know how excru-
cl2tngly amusing a drunken man is
on the stage. and how gladly we give
up $500 Of our hard-earned money 10
see comedian give a lifeIke repre-
sentation Of man on o spree.
Yet there are thousands OF women
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03

who greet this spectacle in their own
homes, not with laughter. but with
tears Is IL possible thar the wives OF
drunkards have been missing a good
joke. and that all they need to turn
their sorrow into JOY is Just to cult
vate a sense OF humor2
And there's the unfaithful husband
also a source OF infinite jest on the
stage. the very backbone OF every
farce
VIII solve Many Problems
What an incentive to wives to cul-
tivare a sense OF humOr that Will en-
able them TO see that a rowing hus-
band is a household joke instead Of a
subject for the divorce court
Therefore, let Us all wish a sense
OF humOr on the female sex It will
solve many OF women's problems. and
il viii abolish the foolish fashions
with which women make figures OF
fun OF themselves; fer then they will
see what good jokes are when they
wear. as they did last summer. the
faithful old family white cat around
their necks in August
Heaven send women a sense OF hu-
mOr.-and send IL soon
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03

Nurse Jane viii have something to eat
after / am gone
oh, yes. I s'pOse YOU can do that
Erunted the fox Teen with a louE.
sharp-pointed carrot IN his paw Uncle
WiEgil- crossed the kitchen l5ur. ir-
stead OF putting the carrot in the SOUP
Uncle WiEEily suddenly showed the
sharp point right in the soft and ten
der ribs OF the fox.
oh. W0uch, Oh. smOuch, on. bean
poles and bread baskets" hOwled the
fox oh. my ribs, How they tickle"
And then. with a sueeZe ana a som
elsault. he ran away to get some tai
cum powder 70 stop the tickling
well. it's a good thing I raised
sharp-pOiured carrots on my farm.
said Uncle Wiggily. as the fox ran
away. and Nurse Jane said the same
thing
And If our player piano doesn't run
off with the hand organ 10 watch the
suubeams dance az the moving pic
lures III tell you next about Uncle
Wiggily and the fence--CopyriEht
1916, By Mcclure Newspaper Syndicate
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03
Women Sense of Humor
Is Steadily Developing

Ability Funny Things Will Many veg Problems
Of Sex and Many Fashions Prevailing
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1916-06-03

one within the region Of the photo
graph viii photograph itself as a
single point. or dot of light. Figure
. shows a photograph obtained by the
first process. the faint. new asteroid
having photographed itself at A.
Eric DOolittle
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08

few vines are better to grow than the
Madeira and the Columbian climber.
Their foliage is of a very rich,
glossy green, and the delicate white
flowers, or rich clusters. of the Ma
deira vine are not only abundant, but
deliciously fragrant. Both vines are
easy to grow, and in a fairly good soil
will attain a height of 20 or 25 feet.
Although the asparagus sprengeri
produces only tiny flowers, its foliage
is SO glorious, SO green and restful to
he eye, that it is a plant much to be
desired. Not requiring a great amount
of sun, it al be placed back of other
plants and, If somewhat above them
its rich beauty will act as a charming
foil.
1t is doubtful if there is any other
one thing in the culture of house
plants SO little understood as the
proper application of moisture.
Generally, the best way to determine
when a plant needs water is to take a
pinch of the soil and rub it between
the thumb and first finger. If dry
enough to become powdery, water
should be applied; but If it is still so
damp as to hold between the fingers,
no % water will be needed for a
time. Lilies, of course, are an excep-
ton to this rule, and in fact, almost
all kinds of bulbs.
fansies are a desirable flower to
have, and a five-cent package will be
sufficient for one ordinarily to grow.
They want to be started indoors in
a box full of rich soil, and kept in a
slightly-shaded place.
The dirt should be damp all the
time, to insure which 1t needs frequent
watering, and when the pansies are
planted out it Is better on this account
to have the bed on the north side of
the house.
There If given a little care, they can
be made to bloom till frost m in
the fall.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
HUBIN'S THEATRE.

Five different parties called on
Frank B. Hubin, owner of Hubin's
Theatre, this week in reference to
leasing his theatre. Hubin says: 81
will lease my Theatre only on one
condition, that is that the new lessee
must run a clean, refined and respect
able place; keep the building in proper
condition, cater to ladies, gentlemen
and children, allowing, presenting or
~tolerating nothing of an Objectionable
nature in Hubin's Theatre. I have
over $4,000 invested in my theatre
property, and if I cannot get the
proper tenant to run a clean and re-
spectacle place, the theatre will re-
main closed until I find the parties
who will run a clean and respectable
place."
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
PERMITS.

The following permits were issued
by Building Inspector Stiles the past
week:
Milford T. Sharp, installation of
Hot Water plant for A. H. Page, First
St., below Shadeland Ave.
Milford T. Sharp, same, for John
H. Green, Glendale, below Columbia.
Milford T. Sharp, same, for Mount
Pleasant Church, Reading and Main
st.
Milford T. Sharp, same, for John
Ryon, Park Ave. &Main st.
Milford T. Sharp, same, for Mr..
Hilton, 81 w. Park Ave.
Hosea Madara, repairs to Cottage,
New Road, cost $4,000.
Geo. K. Merritt, addition to cot
tage, 116 Nth. Fourth St., cost $4,000.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08

TOAST VENISON.-Wash the meat,
wipe dry and trim it neatly.
Make a stiff paste of -four and
water and cover the meat, or else use
several thicknesses Of buttered paper.
This keeps the delicious juices from
running out. Roast about twenty min
utes to the pound.
Saddle Of Venison.-Lard the saddle
with strips Of salt pork run in rather
close together. Tie it to hold it's shape.
Slice an onion into a dripping pan
with a sliced carrot, and lay the veni-
son on this. Put it into a hot oven.
The fat will soon begin to run, and
with this haste the venison very often.
Bake about an hour and a quarter, or
Melt a glass of current jelly and pass
this as a sauce with the venison.
Broiled Venison Chops With Chest
nut Puree.-Cut the chops moderately
thick and seaso with salt and pepper.
Lay them for a few minutes in olive
oil and then broil brown on both sides.
turning frequently. Serve with a chest
nut PURGE made in this way: Remove
the skins from forty chestnuts and dip
in boiling water to free the inner skin.
Simmer until tender. after removing
the inner skins. in stock. Rub through
a s%trainer. season with a little nut
meg and add a cupful of cream. Heat
in a double boiler. mixing thoroughly.
Delicious Toppings For Ice Cream
Roll macaroons rather fine. use equal
parts minced almonds and enough
heavy strip to make a paste. Grated
maple sugar with s%prinkling of walnut
meats is fine, or n car use grated
sweet chocolate with any desired nut
meats.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
DEATH OF MRS. REBECCA LUTZ.

Mrs. Rebecca A. Lutz died at the
home of her daughter, Mrs. Ellwood
Bowen, yesterday friday morning,
in the 10th year of her age, following
an illness of several months dura-
ton, the result of a fall. She is sur
vived by five children as follows:
George Lutz and Mrs. Mary Simon,
of Philadelphia; Michael Lutz, Mrs.
Ellwood Bowen and Charles S. Lutz,
of Pleasantville.
Reading the Pleasantville Press is
reading the news of this locality.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08

"The greatest health insurance in the
world is the simplest" he said. 81 new
er could quite understand why people
are so negligent in the use of the sim
plest of all ~preventives of illness. It's
all a matter of keeping the bowels
open. The man who carries a little box
of Rexall Orderlies has got a good
health policy in his pocket. believe
they are the best laxative ever pre-.
pared, and their pleasant taste appeals
to men, women and children alike"
We have the exclusive selling rights for
this great laxative. Trial size, 10 cents
Crawford's Main ST. Pharmacy
THE REXALL STORE
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
P0TTING SOIL

Lay in a supply of potting soil now,
so if need arises for soil when the
ground is frozen or covered with snow
it can be met. Equal parts of good
garden soil, old, well-rotted manure,
leaf mold and sand should be stirred
well together, sifted through a coarse
sieve and stored under shelter in
boxes and barrels.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
CONCISE NEWSLETS
ABOUT THE CITY
Interesting Local Occurrences
Briefly Told.

A great many persons from Pleas
antville and vicinity have attended
the DR.. Slough evangelistic meetings
in Atlantic City this week.
st. Margaret's Guild will meet at
the home of Mrs. ]. H. Troeller on
Verona avenue next Thursday after
noon, Jan. 13, at 2.30 o'clock.
Floyd Somers, who for some time
has conducted a grocery store at Lin
wood has filed a voluntary petition in
bankruptcy. His liabilities are placed
at $1,429.7 70, with assets of $1,157.56.
The Republican Club of Pleasant
vile has endorsed George M. Bates
for appointment as a member of the
Board of Education to succeed Charles
Stebbins, whose term is about to ex-
pire.
The Woman's Home Missionary
Society of Wesley M. E. Church will
meet at the home of Mrs. Franklin E.
olulIil, HIdilhlll EfC., ICAG HCdliCo-
day at 2.30 p. m. 1t is hoped all
members will be present.
Fire early Thursday morning prac-
tically destroyed two dwellings hous-
es on the Old Turnpike, one the prop
erty of Ross Irwin and the other of
James Vickers. The origin is un-
known. Both houses were unoccupied.
On Sunday morning, Jan. 9th, at
IL o'clock, Rev. M. J. Hoffman will
officiate and preach at St. Marks
Protestant Episcopal Church, corner
Verona and Franklin Sun
day School at IL o'clock. The pub
lie is cordially invited to attend.
The monthly meeting of the Wom-
ems Foreign Missionary Society of
Salem M. E. Church will meet at the
home of Mrs. Charles Collins on
Doughty road Monday afternoon, Jan.
10, as it was postponed on account of
so much sickness among it's members.
At the reorganization of the Town
ship Committee of Egg Harbor Town
ship, held on New Years Day, Louis
D. Champion, of Pleasantville, was
chosen to succeed former Judge Hig-
bee as solicitor, and DIR. w. J. Hud-
son, of Pleasantville, was appointed
Health Inspector, succeeding DR..
Ernst lille.
A freight engine which had nearly
completed its work and was prepar-
ing to leave Pleasantville became de-
rallied in front of Lake & Risley's Of
flee about $50 Thursday afternoon,
and it became necessary to send to
Atlantic City for assistance. 1t took
three hours labor to finally get it
back upon the tracks.
Miss Marion Murphine, ~17-year-old
girl of Somers Point, became despon-
dent and wrote a note in which she
stated her intention to end her life.
She left her home and was reported
as having been seen upon the boule-
ward. Believing that she had COM
mitted suicide by drowning in Lakes
Bay, P~leasantville police and others
made a search but could find no trace
of her.
Council will be petitioned to on
tinue the street lights in Pleasant
vile until 1 a. M, instead of shutting
them off at midnight. This will al
low people to reach their homes from
the 1890 train without being COM
PEELED to do so in darkness. 1t would
also be a good idea to have the lights
turned on Immediately upon an alarm
of fire being sounded, to remain burn
ing until the fire company orders
them off.
sxsGE AHEa~1A~ Ea
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH.
Rev. H. R. McClelland, Phi. D., Pastor.

Sunday services:
1870 a. M, subject, Strength and
Beauty"
7.3O p. M, "Three People Rescued
From Death" f,
Sunday School, 2.30 p. m.
Christian Endeavor, 6.45 p. M.
Prayer service, Wednesday, 7.30 p.
m.
All welcome to all services.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08

READ THE ADS, SAVE MONEY

Has it ever occurred to you that it
would be money in your pocket to
glue your eyes-both of 'em-to the
ads. in The Pleasantville Press every
week?
It's a fact, and others know it and
are ~profting by that knowledge, whe-
Their YOU are or not,
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
HOLIDAY FRILLS.

0OAST VENISON.-Wash the meat,
Z wipe dry and trim it neatly.
Make q stiff paste of -four and
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08

like a potato in need of a shave, be-
cause the skin is hairy. Dasheen
seed has been distributed by the ag-
ricultural department. 1t can be
cooked in many ways and the taste is
very meaty and rich.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
THE DASHEEN PLANT

BY e. VAN BENTHUYSEN.
The dasheen Is the new food plant.
It is a vegetable much like a potato.
1t is a semi-tropical vegetable rather
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-01-08
Not Mentioned.

"Sir, / come of a long family line"
"And I'll bet it has had plenty OF
rope in 1t, too"