The Detroit times., 1916-06-16
Say, Doctor: Want To
Hear How We Joined a
Great Auxiliary Body?

Great Auxiliary Body!
The scheme of world organization is
largely one of main bodies and auxilia-
J ries.
This is apparently true in politics.
The main body of any political party
I Is the national committee; its auxiliary is
the rank and file.
One is as essential to party organiza-
ton as the other, the only difference ~
ing in the fact that the rank and file
doesn't know it is essential
The scheme Is followed strictly in business
eay for instance, in the theatrical business II
n would be hard to convince the gent In the
( ticket window that in his particular playhouse
the show Is not the auxiliary attraction ana OF
the lesser Importance.
y what would happen In the social world. what
e Veuld become Of some OF our lodges II there
we're not auxiliaries well az main bodies!
Ask an Oddfcllow II the order could get along
Il without the Daughters OF Rebecca.
Ask q Mason il the order could get along
without the Eastern Star.
U Secret societies have to have their auxiliaries
composed Of the members OF the other side OF
ne house, SO that it will be all right when he
comes home and explains; Il have been TO
u 1edse-
Now ws come to the scientific world and the
8 auxiliary body to the distinguished association
I q medical lights which we have with US this
T OF this great auxiliary body, without which
the doctors could not exist YOU, reader, are
= member, and you owe IL TO one OF two facts
either that you have had doctor, or nave not
I'd ! doctor-that you are a member.
u y0u have never had doctor. you are only
"a honorary member.
Va ourselves. belong actively to the auxil-
3 lary body, because W have paid our dues.
3 xnd the presence In town Of the doctors has
tveat1ed 70 us the time we Joined.
e lt started with q pain In tho chest, which
ls5pud promptly diagnosed as indigestion.
s& He knsw Il was indigestion because he had
~ No same pain; had It zone time after he
~ eaten corned-beef and cabbage" and wanted
~ know Il we had eaten corned beef and cab
3 Va hadn't and the diagnosis seemed to have
1a11cn by its own weight. but he was insistent
that e was indigestion and just as tnsistent
alhat We accompany him to a drug store, where
~ ordered for us a patent remedy that had
7ssnover failed" to help him.
II didn't work and he next prescribed soda
and seltxer water and that didn't do any good.
and then he happened to think Of something
neighbcr had recommended to him. and we went
With him and got some Of that, and failed to
Z ret any relief.
\ Instead, the pain was getting more severe all
X the time. and seemed to be finding its way to-
II.
Crowd sign there, and We didn't know what to
Just then 1t struck US that we had heard rec
y commended an excellent article TO be procured
4 IT any cut-rate drug store, for indigestion, and
4 having taken the case out Of our friends hands,
went all by ourselves TO nearby apothecary
4 station, where we summoned into our face
4 look intended to convey sufficient amount OF
agony To impress the drug clerk at first sight
Win the seriousness OF the situation and the
Il need OF speedy relief.
q When we had stated the name of the article
h Ne were after. he said he had something that
f2wns 3 great deal better. and we bought some
Y And that didn't do any good.
70 we went home. dropped onto the daven.
< poet and began ordering cold drinks, which did
3 - good. principally because. as we learned lat
s ~. IT great expense. they should have been hot
Come friends were there. but we very impo-
1itely lapsed into dopey sort Of sleep and be
q Nm buttins into the conversation which was
4 taking place with remarks that are generally
n described AZ incoherent and which must. of
course have been foreign to the subject matter.
x OF sudden, the immediate relatives and the
\ friends assembled around the case OF indiges.
\ tion Geo diagnosed by the friend). were startled
By rumbling sound. general shaking OF the
Y house and rafting OF dishes out in the pantry,
y and for the moment were In doubt whether It
(. was an earthquake or somebody out on the curb
trying to get motorcycle started.
iT lt proved to be chill.
y Considerable alarm came over the assem-.
DlaG0 then and everybody was asking everybody
else what had better be done. when somebody,
with rare presence Of mind suggested that may.
be they had better call doctor.
y We are reliably informed that IL one Mr.. Chill.
who umpired Tuesdays game between the Tigers
and Bill Donovan's team, had arrived at any de.
!. cfsion with anything approaching the fairness
Il that was rendered in our behalf by the per-
4 son who decided we ought to have doctor, Do.
4 1rojt would have won the game
Wy They called doctor.
# And the doctor called another one.
And together they called an ambulance.
H This was not, however, until we had been
treated 10 long debate between the doctors,
\ ,cver the very trivial matter Of whether II was
f5Worth while.
60 N seems the friend though OF course, very
X yellmeaning. was slightly out OF the way in his
1lognosis.
AZ We had was pneumonia at that
&EFX1Qu the Doctor No. ! came In. he went
1ooGA the bustness first OF trying to convey
~ - Ne ~ that family picture on the wall