davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
Didn,t Want To Be Shot

A rangy youth lounged up to the re- cruiting station at the city hall, over which Sergeant Charles H. Mandy pre- sides, and asked the sergeant if "this is the place where a fellow can join tfae hospital corps"
 Sergeant Mandy told him it was. The boy then asked about the duties of the hospital corps The sergeant explained that the corps had to go on to the firing line and remove wounded to the rear, talk ing care of them insofar as possible by first aid methods etc.
 Well, then, they shoot at a fellow sometimes, don't they?" cautiously in- quired the applicant.
 Certainly" said Sergeant Mandy.
 Well, I don't want to join anything where I'll be shot at," said the young fellow, as he edged away.
 Say, listen, young fellow" said Ser geant Mandy. What you want to do is call at an employment bureau and ask for a job at some hotel or cafe washing dishes. You don't want to join the army at all. You have simply made mistake in coming here. Now, go aI4l look for a job washing dishes. The boys at Mont gomery are rearing to be shot atv
 The boy departed somewhat hastily
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
Thinks War Probable

Secretary Clarence Lloyd of the city commission is quite sure that war can not be avoided with Mexico, no matter what concessions are secured from Car ranza at the present time.
 ''In my opinion, said MT. Lloyd, 'the President is merely playing for time in order to get the militia to the border in good condition. Incidentally, it is my opinion that President Wilson and Secre- tary Lansing are very desirous for the sake of policy of having the de facto gov ernment of Mexico make the declaration of war against the United States. In such case the President could turn to the country with a plea of a defensive war and thus puncture the attacks of the re- publicans who are ready to believe that a war of conquest is contemplated. But no matter what concessions are secured from Carranza at the present time through show of arms the United States is going to war with Mexico on some pre- text or other"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
DEEDS OF THE FAIR SEX

From Health and Culture.
 What is patent to the least observant nowadays is that women wear almost nothing under their gowns, even in the daytime. Petticoats went sometime back. and were replaced by tights, or were not displaced, Stockings are of such diaph- anous silk as to embarrass the beholder. The story is told that an Englishwoman | was offered a dress with the follow | ing inducement to tempt her: Madam will be satisfied with this dress, for in | putting rose-colored ribbon underneath she will present the appearance of being
 nude; there is an orgy of undressing go- | ing on, and it shows 60 sign of abating. l The fashion of today says that the
 present 'bacchanal rage has fallen upon women at time when much is in the | melting pot; at time of world restless ness, with war abroad and with social misery everywhere. It is difficult to de- 1 feet and our quite bare arms we owe to | the anarchy in the political and artistic world.
 The suffrage agitation is an explanation offered by nerve specialist who says: 1 "Exaggeration in fashions of dress can
 be traced to suffrage campaigns. Under lying the present craze for undressing is
 the desire to emphasize femnism."
 Militarism has done more than is sus- pected to upset the delicate relations of the sexes. The feminists assume the rights and privileges of men. Many of them make their costumes approximate the attire of men, with plain skirt, shirt blouse, tie, solid boots and the unadorned felt hat. Many of them almost look like men.
 The consequence is that other women. who have no sympathy with such ideals and methods, attire themselves in a man. ner which experience indicates is the
 most alluring-the gown which suggests
 what it conceals-soft clinging fabrics which outline the curves of the body
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
SPEED OF FAMOUS CLIPPER

Cape Town.-Crowds on the ouavs of thls port and loungers along the shore at the resorts of Table bay witnessed one morning this week the spectacle of the steamship Indraghira, bound in from Ma tal towing battered hulk of a sailing vessel. She had sighted her 250 miles south of Cape Agulhas walowing help lessly in heavy sea minus her main- mast, mizzenmast and fore topgallant yard, and heavily laden with coal. She was brought up alongside dock, and it was seen that she was the Ferreira, owned by Messrs. J. A. Ferreira of Lis bon, and it was learned that she was on her way to Mossademes from Delagoa bay when she was worsted in her encoun- ter with the clements
 To the crowds the hulk meant nothing, put among the ancient mariners of the port it was the object of the liveliest and most reverent interest, for they knew the weather worn thing to be the old Cutty Sark, in her day, the day of the China clippers, one of the most famous of the famous fliers that smashed records under sail in the tea carrying trade, and the only one that wrested the laurels from Thermopylae. An old salt with a memory of the figures that used to be the subject of deep public interest in England and the United States recalled that she had been credited with 17h knots an hour, and that she had made as high as 363 knots in a run of "A hours. These figures were verified by consultation of the rec ords
 The Cutty Sark, whose name, of course, was suggested by Burns poem, was built in 1869, and Tam o'Shanter's beautiful witch, Mamie, with her long hair and cutty sark flowing in the wind formed her figurehead. Her lines had been sug- gested by the hulk of a French frigate that long lay in Bombay harbor. Her measurements were: Length, PIP feet 5 inches; beam, 36 feet; depth, 21 feet; ton mage. under deck, S92; tonnage, gross, s63; tonnage, net, 921; raised quarter deck, 46 feet long. Her sail area was tremendous. For years after the older favorites had been cut down. and in some cases con- verted into barks, she continued to carry her full suit of racing sails and spars, but in 1881 the latter was reduced, g feet 6 inches being cut off her long lower masts and feet off her lower yards, the other spars being shortened in proportion. Even at that, as late as 1892, she made 35s knots in day and covered 21SO miles in a week.
 The revival of these stories of her prow- ess has aroused much public interest in the hulk
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
Fine Convict Camp

One of the best convict camps in the state is that of the Henderson Lumber company in Tuscaloosa county said J M. Kyzer of Albertville, member of the state convict board, who was at the Mol ton yesterday. 'The convicts are now be- ing used some miles from Tuscaloosa in work at the turpentine still. The Hen derson company is also constructing one of the biggest lumber mills in the state on the banks of the Warrior river just outside the city limits of Tuscaloosa.
 This company owns nearly 5000 acres of fine timber land and it is said to be probably the largest and finest undevel- oped timber tract in Alabama.
 'The Henderson company has splendid facilities for taking care of the large number of convicts they work and the men are well housed and given plenty of good food. The sanitary conditions are fine and every facility is had for caring for the sick''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
PRICES IN BELGIUM

The Hague, therlands.-Notwith- standing the good offices of the Bel gian relief committee, the prices of ar- ticles of popular necessity in Belgium have risen to unheard-of heights.
 list of some of these articles shows an average rise of 45O per cent as com pared with 1914. According to Belgian advices, a packet of household soap that formerly cost Il cents, now costs s1; cof- fee is $50 a kilogram, as against 4( cents: sugar AZ cents against IA; bacon or ham $1.20, as against AS cents; tobacco 80 cents. against 30; butter $1.4O, against GA cents; prime beef s1.6O, against 6 cents, and cheese SIPS against 4S cents While regulations and maximum prices have been proclaimed by the author ities, it is declared that if one seeks any of the things thus officially regulated al the lawful price, the customer is tol6 that it is "sold out and the sale is made secretly at any price the dealer can command.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
THE GoRILLA,s THUMBS

From the Baltimore News.
 The gorilla and chimpanzee, which be- long to the higher order of apes, have many points of resemblance to the man; but there is one thing they cannot do that is, twiddle their thumbs. In the gorilla the thumb is short and does not reach much beyond the bottom of the first joint of the forefinger It is very much restricted in it's movements, and the animal can neither twiddle his thumbs nor turn them around so that the tips describe a circle. There are the same number of bones in the hand of a gorilla as in the hand of man, but the thumbs of the monkey have no sepa- rate flexor, or bending, muscle. This is why a monkey always keeps the thumb on the same side as the fingers and never bends it round any object that may be grasped.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
HOTEL LOBBIES
Pure Water Supply

The prevalence Of so many cases of typhoid fever in Birmingham is a very serious matter and the cooperation of every individual and company will be needed to stamp out the disease and pre- vent its spread" said w. w. Horner, su- perintendent of the Birmingham water works.
 This city is fortunate in having a water supply which is absolutely pure and which is watched with such care that there is absolutely no chance for typhoid from that source. In times past many cities and towns have had serious fever epidemics on account of bad water in the summer months, but the constant care and the exercise of every precaution rem ders this source of infection impossible in Birmingham"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
AMERICA FIRsT-IN DRyNKs

America first" has also hit the wet goods establishments here. In number of Broadway cafes is this placard: "Ow- ing to the European war the cost of all imported beverages, particularly Irish and Scotch whiskies, has increased con- siderably. Therefore, on and after July the minimum price of all beverages inn ported in glass Cease goods, will be 15 cents straight per drink. But why drink imported liquors when American prod uts are the best. The best whiskies come from Pennsylvania and Kentucky. Why not confine your indulgence in liquid refreshments to American products and demonstrate Gas a good American should) your interest and confidence in the products of your own country?'' Very good, Eddie.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
Typhoid Situation Critical

City Attorney M. M. Ullman is not so busy with the legal affairs of the city but that he can devote a little time to the problems of health that are confronting the city authorities. at the present time
 Say, this typhoid situation is serious," commented MT. Ullman yesterday, and I am very much afraid it will spread fur ther. A gain of 40 cases in about two days is nearly an epidemic, in my opin- ion, and I believe that it is the loyal duty of every citizen to take every preca ution against the spread of this dangerous dis
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
ALABAMA PRESS

Franklin County Times: What a beau tiful exhibition of patriotism Birmingham has witnessed in the last six weeks. In May, the old Confederates held sway in Birmingham, to one of the largest crowds assembled on a like occasion. Now, we see the streets of Birmingham crowded to witness the parade of the men en- listed to fight for the Stars and Stripes Truly a most inspiring sight.
 Marion County News: Both the demo- cratic and republican parties have offi- cially decided that woman suffrage and prohibition are questions for each state to decide for itself, and this will decide the matter for all time.
 Opelika News: Already we are being informed that there is to be an enormous crop of cotton grown this year. The in- fluences in this country that strive for low prices for raw cotton are always on the job.
 Talladega Mountain Home: The buii moose party died at the age of four years. Yet, in that brief span of time it grew from infancy to old age.-Bir- mingham Age-Herald. And with it's pass ing many politicians come to their end
 Andalusia Star: Andalusia, with a population of litle less than 5000, sends two companies to the front. But Anda- lUsia and Covington county always have taken the lead when it came time to act.
 Scottsboro Progressive Age: While de- ploring conditions in Mexico we might let our visions wander to a few Ala bama counties.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
Closer Attention to Garbage Disposal

Birmingham is threatened with dangerous spread of ty phod ever garbage the residential part of the city emped but week Protests have been made that the odor from of these becomes unbearabe after few days though they are kept covered.
 During the unusually weather prevalent garbage should be emped least every three days Other wise they become menace to health.
 Every knows that the municipal authorities have done the they could with greatly depleted forces Until recently there but handful of sanitary inspectors employed and
 the removal of garbage has been performed under difficulties
 way should be found however expedite the removal garbage least during the hot weather Citizens have done their part when they keep their premises clean and sanitary they poweres solve the garbage problem The city itself must Every citizen stands ready to lend his opera tion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
MISTAKEN IDENTITIES
n the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
 On the very day that school of jour- nalism student accosted the ever silent w. Murray Crane and inquired whethea or not he was the publicity agent of the Hughes campaign, policeman, mistak- ing Fire Chief Kenlon for a mere curious person, ordered him to move on while a fire was in progress. When Henry w Taft brother of the ex-President. asked an Astor elevator boy to direct him tc MT. Hughes suite, the younsster in. quired: You're reporter. ain't you?' It was . week of mistaken identities
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
ANOTHER VICTIM

"Oh, to be in some far realm,
 Reposing on a cake of ice, Where heat waves cannot operwhelm And wilt my collar in trice! "Oh, to feel the bitter blast
 That hurtles down from arctic shores, To see the snowflakes whirling fast While Boreas in power roarsr' So spake a man for whom the heat
 Had taen away the joy of life Who frowned at friends upon the street And even quarreled with his wife. Time was pleasant smile he wore,
 His anger ne'er was seen to flame, But that was-well, some weeks before The present sultry weather came.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
WORTH REMEMBERING

The American eagle is bald, I under stand" said the foreign visitor.
 Quite so," replied the militant pa- triot' but contrary to the belief of some people that is his natural state. The covering of his head was not snatched off by hostile hands after he reached the age of maturity
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01

 1 A negro trooper who took part in the battle of Carrizal says he was robbed of $400, his half-carat diamond ring and IT, jewel watch. A prosperous private whose possessions, from the Mexican point of view, made the battle eminently worth | while
 The shortage of beer in Germany makes it difficult for the Teuts to celebrate a victory properly, but when you come to think of it, there hasn't been much ex- cuse for celebration lately. The trial of Sir Roger Easement was characterized by a great deal of eloquence on the part of the defense, but in case of that kind the English mind is not sus- ceptible to eloquence.
 It is reassuring to learn that Lower Cal ifonia will remain strictly neutral if we have war with Mexico but assurances of that kind from the Yaquis would be much more acceptable.
 Artificial ice for skating purposes is now being manufactured, but advertisements fail to state whether or not it jolts the system any less when skater falls There is such a strong desire among bellgerent persons to "clean up" Mexico that the baseball umpire no longer has anything to fear at their hands. MT. Hearst expected great things from President Wilson's lighting jaw," but that was when war with Mexico seemed more imminent than it does now.
 
 A new style calliope is on the market, but the average small boy still prefers the old-fashioned kind that produces a lot of smoke along with it's noise Attempts to bury Colonel Roosevelt are a trif1e premature. He's far from being in a moribund condition, either as pol itician or as a warrior.
 Do 1t electrically or words to that effect, will become a popular slogan in Italy, where plenty of waterfalls supply electric power
 Do Anything" Niles, the aviator, flew once too often and now he's dead. That's what comes of living up to dare devil reputation
 The only Americans now in Mexico are those who have refused to leave. They are doubtless ready to take the conse- quences.
 Handling a spade is the least romantic phase of soldiers life, but the spade as part of modern warfare has come to stay.
 A lady poet went to hospital and came forth with sheaf of new verses-some- thing the willy surgeon couldn't take from her.
 Some of these days Silent Commis- oiOuCl iluoS lo SOlIS tO UTcdh IOOS0 anu talk for half an hour without stopping.
 
 It's true that MT. Moran received rather severe lacing, but $25,000 should help him to bear up under defeat.
 
 The adopted son of the former Helen Gould has had his picture taken so often that he is no longer camera-shy. Ambassador Designate Arredondo is al- most as busy these days as Ambassador Von Bernstorff used to be.
 The crop of June brides is all in now, and applying the vernacular, the brides mothers are "all in,' too.
 The right sort of patriot will swat the, fly, watch his garbage can and keep his premises clean.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
SEEMS PROBABLE

This wedding notice in the Squidville Banner states the groom is a rising young business man."
 What do you infer from that?"
 T infer that he will have to raise q considerable distance before he will be able to drop a bomb in Wall street"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
NOT QUITE HARDENED

WI f1AftDEN ED T presume you are getting used to riding in your car?"
 Yes, to certain extent" replied the amateur motorist. Although I still feel some compunction of Conscience when T see g. pedestrian turn pale and make a flying leap for the curb"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

had such christening effect on her that for months afterward my place as the
 head of the household was undisputed."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
..sExn oF zEPPELINs
From the New Orleans States.

T Oiff tffO 1NCW OIfcdfI5 NtdVVS
 Though battleship is she, an air. ship is 'he'' After some discussion the English war office has settled the sex of the Zeppelin. Hereafter the war office will refer to the German dirigible as he or him in official statements.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
SOON DISPOSED nr

It IS remarkable what sacrifices peo, pie will make for the sake of appear ances,' said the thoughtful man.
 That's so," answered the humane oh- server And shabby relations are usually the first to be laid on the al- tar.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
A DISAPPEARING TYPE

The horny handed farmer
 These days is seldom seen, Because he puts on motor gloves When driving his machine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
A SELFISH MOTIVE

And you encourage your wife to take an active interest in politicsT"
 Yes, answered MT. Dubwaite. 'IlI tell you how it started. Once mon Q time Mrs. Dubwaite tackled a steam roller in convention. The experience
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
DENIED

I've often heard that money talks,'
 Said one who fills an humble station, And though I've taken many walks.
 In vain I've sought it's converse ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord. teach me that if I did not get tired | could never enter into the heavt- ness of that multitude who nre al- ways tired. Teach me that other wise | could never know the bless edness of rest. Teach me that Thou gavest me my strength to spend, and in its spending I grow likest Thee. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
SHEPHERD BOY OF ISRAEI,

and bread which strengtheneth nan.s
 heart
 | The trees of the Lord are full of san.
 the cedars of Lebanon, which he b.tt I planted;
 | Where the birds make their nests: as
 TOT the stork, the fir trees are her house.
 The high hills are a refuge for the
 Wild goats; and the rocks for the comics He appointeth the moon for seasons:
 the sun knoweth his going down. | Thou makest darkness, and it is night. wherein all the beasts of the forest da creep forth.
 The young lions roar after their prey. and seek their meat from God. The sun ariseth, they gather then- selves together and lay them down in | their dens
 Man goeth forth unto his work and to
 his labor until the evening.
 70 Lord, how manifold are inv ,,or,,s,
 in wisdom has thou made them all: the
 earth IS full of thy riches"
 RESPECTABLE GUNMEN OF GOTHAM
 From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
 Although there is law in New York against the carrying of concealed weap- ons, no less than 5000 persons already
 have received permits to disregard it. and the number is rapidly increasing. As
 this law was aimed at the "gunmen,"
 1t may be assumed that the permits, have not been given indscriminately Indeed. the list, so far as published contains
 many most respectable names, the may
 or's among them. It may be taken for granted that the peace of the city will | not be in any way disturbed by these armed citizens. But why they should think 1t necessary to tote guns," as if they were living on the banks of the Rio Grande, remains an interesting sub- Ject Tor speculation. The war in Eu- rope Is named as one reason; attacks on public officials and highway rob- berries are others. The bearing of tho first is not obvious. The only casualties | traceable to this source are the blowing
 up of munitions factories and ships. and I it does not appear that the handy use 1 of revolver could have prevented that. Public officials, of course, are always open to attack, and they may be excused | for desiring to have some ready means of defense. But why should men of let ters, actors, business men, even women, | be on the list? Is the boasted police l force of New York so negligent or fn- efficient that the ordinary peaceful wav-
 fares must provide for his own protec- | tion? There is a mystery here which l cries aloud for solution.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
MAIDENLY MEDITATION

Don't interrupt Gertrude" Why not?"
 She's sitting with box of candy in her lap and thinking beautiful thoughts;~ "Umph A chocolate for each though, eh?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-07-01
WHEN STEERS SOLD AT s15

From the Washington Post
 How the increase in the cost of living has progressed in the last 30 or 40 years was discussed by Governor J. B. Ken- drick of Wyoming, an old stockman, who has watched the march of events. To- day chicken is worth more than a turkey was a few years ago; a turkey more than hog; hog more than a cow used to be worth, and 8 COW more than a horse. This illustrates the increase in the price of food stock
 Tn March, 1879. I went down to Texas to look over 20O0 head of steers in Mata- gorda county. southern Texas" Governor Kendrick said. While was down look ing over the young cattle I was asked by the manager of the ranch if cared to buy some older steers. The owner, I was told, had number of six-year-old steers that he would sell, although he was not anxious. He was going to hold them until he got his price, he declared. The manager impressed upon me, how ever, that I need not hope to buy un- less I was willing to pay the owner s price.
 II asked the price, and was told that he wanted $15 a head. Think of it-$16 a head for six-year-olds. and today calves are bringing $S5.'