Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1916-02-03

"'Have you-have you lost your
money! she asks.
Sir Percival studies a minute
81 am poorer says be, than the
poorest sandwich man on the street-if
l don't earn my living
You call this work? says She I
thought man worked with his hands
mountebank.'
The calling Of a halberdier,' says
he, is an ancient and honorable one.
Sometimes says he, the man-at-arms
at the door has saved the castle while
the plumed knights were cake walk
ing in the banquet halls above
81 see you're not ashamed says
she, of your peculiar tastes. l won
der, though, that the manhood l used
to think l saw in you didn't prompt
you to draw water or hew wood in
stead of publicly Haunting your igno-
miny in this disgraceful masquerade
'Sir Percival kind of rattles his ar
NOR and says: Helen, will you suspend
sentence in this matter for just a little
while? You don't understand says he.
I've got to hold this job down bit
longer
You like being a harlequin-or hal
berdier, as you call it? says she.
81 wouldn't get thrown out Of the
job just now says he, with a grin, to
be appointed minister to the court of
ST. James.
and then the forty HIP. girls eyes
spanked as hard as diamonds.
Very WE'LL says she. You shall
have full run of your serving mans
tastes this night And she swims over
to the boss desk and gives him a smile
that knocks the specks off his nose.
81 think your Rindslosh, says she,
is as beautiful as a dream. 1t is a
little slice of the old world set down
in New York. We shall have a nice
supper up there, but if you will grant
US one favor the illusion will be per-
our table,
THAT hit the boss anthology hobby
just right. Sure says he, dot will be
fine. Und der orchestra shall blay die
Wacht am Rhein" all der time. And
he goes over and tells the halberdier to
go upstairs and hustle the grub at the
swells' table.
I'm on the job says Sir Percival,
taking off his helmet and hanging it
on his halberd and leaning 'em in the
corner. The girl goes up and takes
her seat and l see her jaw squared
tight under her smile. We're going to
be waited on by real halberdier,'
says she. one who is proud of his pro-
fession. Isn't it SWEET
"Ripping, says the swell young
man. Much prefer waiter says the
fat old gent. I hope he doesp't come
from cheap museum, says the old
lady; he might have microbes in his
costume
Before he goes to the table Sir Per
cival takes me by the arm. Eighteen,
says he, I've got to pull off this job
without blunder. You coach me
straight or I'll take that halberd and
make hash out of you. And then he
goes up to the table with his coat Of
mail on and napkin over his arm and
waits for the order.
"'Why. it's Deering!' says the young
swell Hello. old man What the
Beg pardon, SIR interrupts the hal
berdier. I'm waiting on the table,
The old man looks at him grim, like
a Boston bull. so, Deering,' he says,
you're at work yet
Yes, sir, says Sir Percival, quiet
and gentlemanly as | could have been
myself, for almost three months now
"'IOu haven't been discharged dur
ing the time? asks the old man.
Not once, Sir says he. though I've
had to change my work several times
"'Waiter. orders the girl, short and
sharp. another napkin He brings her
one, respectful
II never saw more devil, if | may say
it, stirred up in lady. There was two
bright red spots on her cheeks, and her
eyes looked exactly like a wildcats I'd
seen in the ZOO. Her foot kept slapping
the floor all the time.
"'Waiter.' she orders. bring me fill
tered water without ice. Bring me a
footstool. Take away this empty salt
cellar. She kept him on the jump
She was sure giving the halberdier his
There wasn't but a few customers
up in the sl0Sh at that time. so hung
out near the door so I could help Sir
Percival serve.
He got along fine with the olives
and celery and the blue points. They
was easy. And then the consomme
came up the dumb waiter all in one
big silver tureen. Instead of serving
it from the side table he picks it up
between his hands and starts to the
dining table with it, When nearly
there he drops the tureen smash on
the floor, and the soup soaks all the
lower part of that girls swell silk
dress.
"'Stupid-incOmpetent" says she. Civ
ing him look Standing in cor
ner with a halberd seems to be your
mission in life
"'Pardon me. lady says he. 1t was