Omaha daily bee., 1916-03-04
The Other
Side of
War Weddings
ny An ENGLIsHwOMAN.

Hy An ENGLlsH "OMANs
Then there will be a real war we'd
ding Oh, how jolly! I'm so glad, All
my congratulations"
That was the kind Of remark that
greeted her every Gay, and she had to ex-
plain that the engagement ring did not
mean war wedding and that, in fact,
there would be no marriage until he
came back from the war. Her people
were disappointed. The man was a senior
office. thoroughly good fellow, and
they were both deeply in love. It would
be so much nicer for her to be married
And then. jf-well. IL he did not return
she would have a pension that would
at least ease the material side of life.
They could not understand how the girl
could stand out so definitely when all
who cared for her were willing, even
eager, to help her in the thousand little
tasks and details associated with war
wedding.
Don't open up house." kindly rela-
tive said. come and live with me. You
shall have a sitting room to yourself
so that when he comes home to leave 1t
will be almost like having home of
your own"
But the engaged girl. grateful as she
was, declined The offor, and 1t was only
to an understanding friend that she at
last confided her point of view.
It's not thing one can talk about
very easily" she said, but l should
like you to know. l think that every
man who marries and returns almost
Immediately TO his post of duty has
very mixed feelings. He is tremendously
happy, of course, 70 know that the girl
he loves is his, that when he Is out at
the front, he will be tied to her by the
most sacred bond that exists. And the
girl of course is happy too. But there Is
another side Of the question. The man
may argue that if he comes back fit
and strong happiness lies before them.
lie may say IL he is killed in action his
wife will at least be beyond the attack of
poverty and material distress! He knows
that the pension due to an officers wife
will 1T least keep her from want. Both
these considerations are ip-favor of a
war wedding But-end this is where the
man nesitates-supposing he comes back
without an ann or with two legs missing
n utterly hopelessly blind? He thinks
y OF the girl. young beautiful full OF
strength and health, and the idea that
she should be tied to a NAMED and Grip
rled creature is absolutely intolerahle. He
knows that the girl would be glad to
serve him with all her love and tender
ness But he regards 1t as a sacrifice,
and his chivalry will not allow him to
accept the sacrifice. You see, II the girl
is his wife he knows that she will stay
beside him from a sense OF duty. Her
place is at his side. Can't you see how
that might hurt a man7
Now, take my position. II my maj
n n Wi
limbs missing, he knows that I am FREE
to marry someone else. There is no III
between us that cannot be broken. An'
il tell him how much I love him ant
how greatly need him, IT win in a wa,
reassure him. He will realize that an
coming to him out of my own free will
and not because / am his wife.
II don't think that people realize how
deeply most men feel this aspect OF wa
weddings They know how the averag
girl loves a man in khaki. They realiz
that the love that prompted a girl T.
marry man, though heroic and stronl
and splendid. was order orders for tn
front. might not be strong and rea
enough to make happiness possible 70
her IL he came back battered and broken
SO many men feel that the girl doesn'
quite realize that II does take rather
big love to make Joy at all possible in
married life that would be much GU
of the ordinary.
That's why" she went on. II do no
believe in war weddings. II desired /
/ Dick would marry me tomorrow. Blu
~ know that II will make him happier I
think that l am free. It is a sacrific
for me, but make IL very gladly. know
ing what it means to him. We are sur
OF our love. II he comes back to m
we shall be married at once. Our engage
ment has been announced only becaus
our right to be with him If he come
home wounded will be the more clearl
asserted. We are very happy-perhaps
little happier than those who have nc
considered the other side OF the wa
wedding
you see." she added. there are case
that make man think. Dick has
great friend who married in the earl
days of the war. The girl was great
excited. She imagined herself to be
love. She rather liked being an officer
wife. A month ago her husband cam
back with one leg missing. and HI
health so seriously undermined that tn
doctor has ordered him to live perme
ncntly in the country. The girl love
town life weekend in the countr
bores her The man knows that happ
ness is impossible for her. and the cir
simply from a sense OF duty, will 6
with him 10 his country retreat, and bot
viii be intensely unhappy ! would fin
happiness with Dick whatever happene
TO him, but he would not believe it VI
less [ were free TO choose my life whe
he came back broken and hurt. No, v
..rc going to have peace wedding plea
God, and just because we have waite
for our happiness, It will be all the fin
when 1t comes"