News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1916-11-01

FlNNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
pitiless Publicity


| Ash Cam says l. T"was all right on
the stump but in Washin ton it's diff
! fer The Harp that waist through
Trentons halls Il name Tumulty,
" hin he bursts into song now he picks
| his chune
'"Tis not that Prisidint Wilson Is
less public than Candydate wilson
he's less pitiless TITS like the show
man. He tells We all, an more, about
tn illyfant. but he has mintal res-va-
shune about the spotted baby.
$50 it is wild Wilson. He's sof'ned
the hard heart iv 'Pitiless Publicity
How about the Postmasters? axes
the refawrumers. Well niver tell ye
says the C'mishun. For whyT says
the League. Twid embar'ss tn Ad-
ministhrashun, says the C'mishun.
And the people laughs. 'Ye fired tn
Hid of the Cinsus,' says Hughes. 'Ye
lie says Redfeld. He raysined wild
out bein' aXed, says he. 'Ye lie yer
self s4ys Durand. 'Ye towld me ye'd
tlIC lhCi al NO Stf Liz paw " u
politician, says Durand. 'Ixacly
fwhat | said, yels Pink Whiskers, I
was goin' to fire We anyway, but
niver axed We to raysine,' says Pinky.
An the people roars.
""Tell us about all thin Dishurvin'
Dimmycrats,' says the people. An
Washin ton is sweep be storm Nv
silence.
But doan't We think there's no pub
Iicity at all Teddy himself was none
gunshy with the papers, but he cud
be quiet too.
oven grab some land in Vinzu-
eely,' says the Ambassydure, 'tem'pri-
ly, says he Yen not, says Teddy,
yen agree to arbitrate,' says he, or
he says, in tin days Dewey'll be there
says Teddy.
"'Me Ry'le Masther will niver con-
STINT says tn other. Thin says Ted
dy, IN sind Dewey at wanst. There's
no use waitin',' Teddy says. How'd
EN- says the Ambassydure. we
agree says he. an divil bit did we
hHUV llON IL w as LII u uoDCu yCdl.
owen have Ferdy Carey alive or
the Bashi BaZook dead says Teddy
an back comes Ferdy. An the papers
says. ON demand Nv the State Depart
ment Ferdy Carey has been released
An that's all.
'How is 1t now? The greasers
twinty at Sanity Isabel.
Another Mexican Crisis says the
headlines. Twinty Americans killed.
they says. The President Calm says
they. 'Ates Bacon and Eggs. Plays
Goluf,' says the headlines. An the pa
per goes on:
"The Prisidint's appetite at break
fast was good, tn leader Nv the ma
shun gettin' outside iv grape fruit, ba-
ron an eggs hot biscuit an coffee.
Whin. Docther Grayson announced the
bill iv fare the tinshun over Mexico
was much relaved.
"'The Prisidint is sovin' in privacy
The fateful question, "Will me throat
asst" The answer is waited wild fe-
rerish anxiety
"Mondah the papers says: 'Nashunal |
Disaster! Sore Throat Feared Panic |
It the Capital! The Prisidint Calm!
Consideration was spread among |
I'll classes today be the report that |
Strong men tainted before they cud
each the nearest saloon. There is
ak iv appintin' day iv prayer. 1t is
hoped that Senior Arre-ye-on-th though |
will claim that the dead Americans
aysisted ixicushun. A high authority |,
tates that this wud end the crisis.
rhe Prisidint made but wan remark:
Av they'd not been there they'd not Nv
,een kilt"
"Choosdah, they says, Hope revives.
70 sore throat. Bitten by insect T
President calm. All Phrases " Mat
her to be considered.
"'The anxiety in the Capital was re-
aved today be the followin' bulletin:
%. lathe Prisidint has slight per-
grafton in the cuticle over the infery-
re maximary caused be a insect bitin'
i'm whin asleep. The patient was too
roud to scratch. (Signed) Grayson."
att is reported also that Gineral
colt will go to the border to bury the
cad. and apologize to the Insurgents.
lie will axe Carranzy, whether he wud
ccept a loan if offered. This is con-
idered the thrue Sutton iv the diff.
ulty.'
"Winsdah the Prisidint goes motor
A.. Thursdah he writes a note and
Iineral Scott starts for the border.
'ridah the headlines says Peace in
Europe near. President studyin' terms.
Will he stop the war? Another note
expected. Capital excited over report
but we're comforted be bein' towld
ne Prisidint win not be betrayed
ito hasty ackshun.
"Sundah, he's considerin' tn Ar
lenyan question, an Mondah he adj
ises G-andmothers about suckin'
ygs. And another crisis is past.
$50 it goes ivry day. AS was say
I, there's a'plenty publicity. but It's
OF the brand iv 1912"
NJ, UTnrNa 10. ! 4