The Sunday telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1914-1927, 1916-02-27
Adventures of a
Bald-Headed Man

happen TO be one"
The clipping process was nota great
success, either One Of the books In
my rapidly growing tonsorial library
had said that badness was caused by
wearing hats. II contained many IL
Eliminating Illustrations showing how
tight bands around ones temples cut
on the supply Of blood which nour-
lshcd the roots Of the hair. Our an
cestors had much hair on their bodies,
but the wearing OF clothes had made
our bodies bald; so the wearing 81
hats must be responsible for the abb
senco Of hair on tho modern pate.
Abandoning my hat gave all the
town comedians and Office wits o
chance to show their humor and their
originality. They asked me many In
tenscly amusing questions, such az
where did lose my hat and dld !
want to borrow u dollar to buy a hat
| resumed my hoadgear in a few
days, not so much on account OF tho
wit OF it's absence inspired in my comic
friends. but on account OF sunburn.
The beating summer sun burned ana
scared my clipped pate until It seemed
TO no afire.
By this time my bathroom was lit
tered with scalp remedies Till 1t looked
like chemists laboratory.
BARRIERS began taking a deep per-
sonOl interest in me. They knew ~
was meat and bread for them. One OF
tho last to corporate with me In the
conservation OF my tonsorial decorat
ton shook his head knowingly as he
ran his comb through the struggling
ranks on my head.
az have the very thing he SAID
con0dentIally. ITS mango cure, "
will save your hair all right The
parasite that causes mango In dog
ia similar to the one that causes dam
druR, And dandruti causes the hair
to come out"
90 your worst" said reSlgnedly,
al am willing to try anything"
So he hauled out bottle OF black
llquId and smeared 1t on my head
Soon the odor Of tar permeated the
whole barber shop. .s ~. N
ARE they paving tho streets neaf
berC7" ] asked, ys- ,a
mo sir. It's the mango cure"
"Whatw shouted, "Do you mean
to toll me that truck is being rubbed
into my hair" @s
ayes, sir. But It washes right OUT
"What good does 1t do, then' Smell
won't drive dandrutt away"
at promotes the growth"
The remedy felt as though It was
nIncty-nine parts carbolic acid, After
what seemed an interminable time Of
rubbing and massaging the barber
pushed my head into a washbowl aaa
began the rInslng process tride hair
heartedly,
"You will find that wonderfully
beneficial" he said, smiling, as | left
the shop. az you repeat that for
several weeks yoi win have no more
trouble with your scalp"
~ believe you" replied, rubbing
my tlngllng head, Several more
weeks OF that and you would not be
troubled with anything except your
immortal soul"
Tho day was warm. ! climbed
aboard street car and opened 9
Newspaper. Soon the man who had
taken the seat next to me began 70
eye mo susplclously. lie thrust his
nose into the air and shifted. Icould
feel his Icy stare boring into me. The
scent came to mo- 1t was rather bad.
1t smelled like street paving.
When at last came to my street /.
sneaked off the car with hang dog
look, inspired by the mango remedy,
as though had picked passengers
pocket. / could feel the angry glances
Of my fellow travellers Hurryihg
home dashed a bottle Of the strong
est perfume could find on my shamed
head. ! never tried this remedy again.
There are some things worse than
badness.