Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1916-08-10

believe in fairies too, dad. Introduce
me To the Flincess"
Mefkle volunteered this service, and
Rub promptly hitched his chair closer.
l-oreei saw that lie Was ve,'y drunk.
and mafveled al his control during the
recent exhibition.
Tell me more about the PARTED
i'etticoat' ana 'Dentol Chewing Cum,
Miss Knight. Your face is a household
word in every street car" he began.
She replied promptly. quoting; hap
hazard from the various advertise
meats in which she figured ut never
shfinEs; 1t holds its shape; 1t must be
seen to be appreciated; Is cool, re-
rfeshing and prevents decay
How did you meet that French
dancer" Hannibal Wharton oueried.
sourly. OF his son.
=! stormed the stage door and way
laid her In the wings. She thought |
MAS you. dad. Wharton is grand OLD
name" He chuckled at his fathers
exclamation.
Where did you learn those Argen-
tine wiegles9"
Hard times are to blame. dad The
old men Oh the exchange play golf all
,i,:, and the young ones turkey. trOt all
night stay up late IN the hope that
! may find Il quarter that some sub
lTbanite has dropped"
The elder men rose and sauntered
IN, Al. ~.
wherenpon Bob winked.
They've left us fiat. Why? Be
cause the wicked Mile Demorest has
finally made her appearance as a
guest. My dad is splendid shock
absorber Naughty. naughty papa!'
ITS probably well that you came
with her: fathers are so indiscreet."
Young Wharton signaled to Il waiter
who was passing with a wine bottle
and a napkin.
"'rarry" he cried. Remove the
shroud. please. and let Inc look at poor
old Roderer. Thanks. How natula
he tastes" Then to Lorelei: '"rhe gov.
ernor Is Il woman hater: but no maj
Is safe in range of your liquid orbs
Miss Knight Wouldn't mother enjoy
reading the list of Hammon's guests al
| this party! Among those present Were
Mr. Hannibal C.. Wharton. the we'll
known rolling mill man: Miss Lorele
Knight principal first act fairy of the
Bergman Revue. and Mile. Adoret
Demorest the friend of a king. A good
time was had by ALL and the diner:
enjoyed themselves very nice He
laughed loudly. and the girl stirred.
shed be pleased to read also thai
you came late, but highly Intoxicated
"Ah! Salvation Nell" Bob took nc
offense. IF the hour was late shed
know my intoNication followed az q
| matter of course. I ain derivativt
| of alcohol, the one and infallible urgu
ment against temperance, Miss
knight"
You talk as ii you were always
drunk"
"Oh--not always. By day am fire.
| Quently sober. but at such times l AIN
/ ut company for neither man nor beast
| am harsh aud unsympathetic;
scheme and | connive, With nightfall
/, however. there comes metamOrpho
sis. Once | am stocked up with ales
wines, liquors and cigars, | become q
living, palpitating influence for good
spreading happiness and prosperity In
my wake"
DO you consider yourself in such q
condition now?" queried Lorelei
vaguely amused.
/ Il am, and. since it is long past the
/! closing hour OF one and the tango par
lors are dark. suppose we blow this
Who's Who in Pittsburgh and taxi
cab out to roadhOuse where the bass
tiddie is still inhabited and the second
generation is trotting to the Robert E
Lee"
I.orelei shook her head with a smile
II don't care to GO
':strange!" MIR. Wharton helped
himself to a goblet of wine. appearing
to heap the liquor above the edge OF
the glass. No. II l We're sober
could understand how you might pre-
fer these 'l4ppy guys to me, for no
body likes me then, but Pm agreeably
picked. Merkle won't take you any
where, for he's full of distilled watel
and has directors meeting at ten."