The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-07-14

the round" dances. The dances are
something like steaks in the butcher
shop. You can have the round Of the
tee-bone or the porter house of the
flank. or just any other that you want
Well the girl died. dropped dead, |
guess. The angel of the Lord is said
to have gathered her spirit and start
ed off for paradise. The angel of
satan, just a little later in this in
stance. for a wonder, for he usually
first, came along and asked the floor
manager where the spirit of that girl
was. The floor manager told him in
dignantly that he was not within his
rights, since that girl was good
Christian as could be found i'll any
church town. The angel of satan
replied that he would not question
that. but that he was Instructed to
catch everything that died on his
territory, nd here would be trouble
unless he got that spirit. With this,
he started in hot pursuit of the angel
of the Lord nd | know not how 1T turn
ed out in the final controversy. r
really don't think this is what | said
before. Please note, whey funny ques
tons are asked. always sign your name
but | will never publish them.
why are the farmers out south of
town stuck up worse than them out
west of town." You should say
those" instead OF them. do not
really notice much stuckupness among
any of the farmers. north, south, east
or west. There is somo stuckupish
ness in everybody if they ever get
chance to let it crop out. Your clothes
do not show what you are, but they
show what you wear. We actually feel
better and look better if we have on
better clothes. do notice these farm
ers south OF town are wearing little
better buds the last two or three years
but then, since come to think about
it, SO do all the farmers. | should
advise every body to wear just as
good clothes as you can pay cash for.
A dollar or two in your jeans may
make you walk just little more in
dependent, and | have known farmers
who held up the price of their grain
| to the amount of a hundred dollars.
all told, just because they had ten
dollar bill in their pockets at the time
the buyers were dickering with them.
| know of preacher (pcrhaps I'd
better say, | heard of preacher)
who walked down the aisle from the
pulpit just before beginning his ser
mon, and borrowed ten dollars for
thirty minutes from a fine looking
man, and then returned it to him i'm
mediately after the benediction. The
puzzled lender asked what this stunt
meant, whereupon the minister ex-
planned that he had not cent in his
pocket, and could always preach bet
ter with little money on him. Now
it may be that your mystery about the
stuckupness of the farmers south Of
of town is that they have better bank
account, or else are better borrowers
than those out west, but the Hired
Man gives it up.
old Mr. Ball says he is sure you
are one of these preachers about town.
if so tell me what you would say to
a man, if you were to be the
judge in the Judgment, if he had sin
ned right along all through his life
and did not know cussing and lying
and stealing were wrong" I would
simnlv find out what insane asylum
he had been born and raised in. and
then say please step over yonder In
that bunch of queer folks, we keep a
guard over idiots even here in heaven.
81 know a man here in the route of
r. F. D. 4 who has had three wives
here on earth, which one of them will
he claim when he gets to hell?" You
may mean this for joke, but it isn't.
Jesus Christ said man in hell would
never have a wife. Even if his earthly
wife should also go to hell, the man
would be deprived even of the associ-
alton of his formerly bad wife, and, it
it very bad wife indeed who is not
better than no wife at all, even in
hell. Evil woman who take the road
of sin-cursed perdtion here on earth
are deprived even of that equipment
in hell Men will find hell no matter
how much they Joke about 1t here.