New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-10-01
Placed End To End
Bv T. N. POCKMAN.


n lifelong study of the question, if our
.,;- land should be besieged on the East by
-,7.eating Germans, on the South by Mexican
,.;-sss friioes, on the West by hordes of
r,rs,ese Wallets and on the North by Siberian
.roifbounds. and if-drawing a new breath
- country's food supply should suddenly give
-. fully 70 per cent of the adult white pop
.l.+;or Of the United States could subsist for
..rsr months and thirty days on our avail
mo SIMPLY of printed statistics. To say the
,.re in ninety-three less words, Americans
eat figures.
We worship figures, for figures cannot lie.
~ Long Branch, we read, a seven-foot shark
ras caught at II a. m. by three men in
,,eteen-foot motor boat, but when we proudly
recount the thrilling tale at the supper table
= has become an eleven-foot shark caught by
seven men in nineteen feet Of water off Long
Beach.
Ne crave numbers. whether il be that of
ne crimson roadster that ran down the aged
PEDESTRIAN and got away, or the number Of
.of-shel crabs consumed on a bet by stout
,srson with a forid complexion. We lie in
rat for such monstrosities as a chart show
no the fuctuation in the gumshoe market for
he last decade prepared by some obscure clerk
I, Washington. Daily We pore over box
scores, while computing batting averages IS
ne sole Intellectual effort Of millions.
Our whole day is ruined if we do not read
n the Morning Blurb' just how long it took
he Presidential candidates speech to pass
yven point and how many men marched in
he uretzel-benders division Of the prepared
,sss parade. It takes all the fun out of read
NJ about an accident If the newspaper has
aled TO prepare a neat array Of previous dis
astsrs 20 show that this one really isn't so
-uch, as calamities 90, after all.
Every one Of US has known from childhood
hat i all the telegraph wires Of the United
States were Joined in one continuous strand it
Eould reach-how many times?-around the
lobe. and that if the members Of Congress
we're placed end TO end they would reach from
he Battery 20 Fourteenth Street.
Consider poor Switzerland, inhabited by a
simple and home-loving folk. Yet how many
tines has it not been lifted bodily out Of the
mix spot i. rents on most maps and placed
soD right down or long-suferlng Texas by
eme red-haired school teacher. Then with
he Alpine republic gasping for breath so far
out Of lis natural habitat, can't you see Miss
NcFay proceed 70 throw Bosnia and Herzego-
VIVA also into the Lone Star State just to
see row much il viii stand, aside from bor-
isr raids Rotten manners, say we, 70 man
handle both Texas and the pink, green and
l .e.iotrope European countries IN such fashion.
No. content 10 stand by while STATS school
sachers pick on a stunted country ike Here
97na about It's height and weight, some De-
srnent Of Agriculture proceeds to cast as
z-sons on its crops. investigating the neces-
az figures and then placing them IN the
| r,gsr proximity Of a common table Of status
s along with such company as Madagascar
nd Dutch Guiana. How panied must be the
zzbiires Of some really splendid thistle crop
q herzegovina,
To gst back 10 the field OF heavy reading,
10 among US would not feel cheated out OF
~ money If our 15-cent magazine did not
1-.ain. a. least every other month, com
;zrative view Of the navies Of the world? 50
appropriate. zoo. now. with everybody IN the
r,-,d fighting except old Uncle sam, II seems.
sse the huge d-eadnought with neatly parted
gs-wayes representing the might Of Great
3l.a.n, and all the other sea forces IN line
ewing smaller and smaller, until the last,
zprssen.lng the navy Of Hayti, seems such
Up leather pocket edition that one could take
nght home with him.
i I, revsre-t silence again let Us forget 70
-s,ton the comparative chart Of the AR reefs
ne great powers. in which four or five OF
nose foreigners get pictures Of aeroplanes
e SIZE Of double eagles, while your Uncle
a-gel has 70 be content with fly speck IN
as over right hand dim distance.
/ B., me Grand Prx for endurance must be
Hsrded % the overgrown army Of Russia that
zrds patiently, aye resignedly, at the LETT OF
I7sry diagram comparing the standing armies
the universe. What a wealth Of pent-up
-oton must be hidden behind the expression
- eyes tne artist always gives Russia as ne
l 1-dy holds his ground, looking neither 20
e night nor 70 the army Of Germany reach
W 70 MS left armpit.
ee might dlgress for a moment, had we
l ,1lelye @ position, % point out now all
~ eompar.sons are misleading, not 70 say
A'csrae Suppose, for example, that the
s~Y o. Ecuador we're eight times the SIZE Oh
and forces Of Martinique. The ordinary
~ a. once draws the Ecuadorable soldier
e. times a. high a. the other and then pro-
~ % give him broad shoulders, hips and
~ n