The Palatka news and advertiser., 1916-06-16
The Cooperative Plan
A Farmer Tries 1t on an Auto
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1916, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate,
By M. QUAD

| was driving across the country
with horse and buggy when came
to the wreck of an auto in the ditch,
and farmer was tinkering at it. He
had a sledge, crowbar, an ak, cold
chisel and a screwdriver and had work
ed up a nice little state of perspira-
ton.
you appear to have wreck here"
l said as l drew in my horse.
"Appear! he shouted as he looked
up. "If this isn't the durndest wreck
anybody ever saw I'll eat my hat!"
How did it happen?'
How does anything happen to an
auto with a fool driving it?"
WAS it yours?" l asked, scenting a
story.
"One-fif of her was mine up to
last night. Now the whole sad remains
belong to me. Did you ever hear of
the cooperative plan among farmers?'
Lots of times"
"Waal, then, this was cooperation in
buyin' and runnin' an automobile, and
this is one of the results of 1t. The
other result is that | am about $500
out of pocket and have lost widder
who was goin' to be my wife. If you
want to hear all about it I'll tell you,
for l guess it hain't any use to tinker
any more at this blamed old thing"
The farmer took a seat on the NOR
tai remains of the auto and drew a
long breath and proceeded to say:
There was Tom Lvans. Joe Baxter,
Jim Williams and 81 Perkins. They
are all farmers and live about here.
They are all married men, and each
one has a gang Of children. AS for
me, l am an old bachelor, but | was
a-sparkn' of the incest widder woman
in this county. The four men ! have
mentioned come over to my house one
evenin' month ago, and Tom Evans
the cooperative plan to buy an auto
"'How muchT says |.
"a thousand,' says he.
"'That's $3.50 each
"Jest so, Sam
"And the auto was bought?' |
queried.
"She was, sir. She arrived here glis-
TENN like star, and she excited the
wonder of folks for ten miles around.
We got a feller from town to show us
how to run her, and in about a week
we was all ready to glide around the
country Bein' I was single man and
nightly In love with widder, they
said | might take the auto out first,
which was very decent Of them. felt
sure I could run the machine as good
as any man in the state. 1t was a
bright moonlight night, and the whip
poorwills were singin' and the katy
dds chirpin'. and that widder woman
should promise to be mine before we
returned"
"And did she?" was asked as the
farmer heaved a long sigh.
"She didn't, stranger, and I'll tell
you why. We had gone about mile
as steady as an old horse when the
auto SHE'D at stone in the road, ran
through a rail fence, wrecked the auto,
and the widow gave me fits"
''It gets interesting" said.
"Kinder interestin', stranger--kinder
so. We got a machinist to tinker 500
worth of tinker and the old machine
could run again. Then it was Toms
turn. He has a wife and five children,
and they all piled in. They was clip
pin along as happy as larks when
they came to a crossroad. The auto
was for keepin' straight ahead. Tom
wanted to turn to the right and his
wife to the left, and the result was
that the machine run into and knock
ed over the guidepost and then tried
to climb a fence. The whole family
took a spill and was scattered for
twenty rods around. No one was kill
ed, and there was no broken bones,
but the bruises are yet blue, and Tom
still walks bent over like an old man
on account Of the Jar to his spine. By
this time we had all got skeery of the
machine; but, it bein' now Jim's turn
and he not wantin' to be called cow
ard. he took out his family for a prone
made. AS the other accidents had oc-
cured at night, Jim went out in the
afternoon. He thought there might be
somethin' in the night air that affect
ed the old critter. There was seven in
the family. and they was climbin' the
hill beyond the red ridge when all to
once the auto gave a snort and stop
ped in her tracks.
What's the matter? asked Jim's
wife.
"Durned if know, but she's got to
go! he answers.
and she did 90, slr-she went back
wards. There was screamin' and yell
in and swearin', and Joe's wife slap
ped his face, but nothin' did any good.
That auto kept on gOin' backwards
until it dumped them all in the river,
which was about three feet deep at
that time. They was shook up and
bruised and half drowned, but they
were lucky for all that. They waded
ashore and left the old auto lyin' on
its back in the river"
But you got it out again?" l asked.