The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-08-02
ON SPUR OF
THE MOMENT
By ROY x. MoULTON.

The Summer Girl.
She will flirt quite bit, there Is no doubt
She will bangle the men at her ease
With no thought to deceive she win make
That Af the moon moon is composed of green
cheese.
She will rule like a queen and with inno-
Till she gives all the spinsters pain;
Men will follow her within, they will golf,
And viii ianguish all day in her train.
Yes. the men will jump through, they will
They viii fight for the chance of smile,
They'll lie down and roll over. play dead
like dog Rover,
Or carry her trunk for mile.
It is fair to suppose that they all will
They'll invoke the small god with the
wings.
If the season is right and enough fellows
She will gather harvest of rings.
But along toward fall. the gay beach
Johnnies all
She win can, with shrug and frown;
She will bid them adieu, and will. catch
And will marry some mutt back in town.
In Vaudeville.
Shades of Dave Garrick and w.
Shakespeare, what will come next ?
The champion bean picker of Caluga
county, New York, has worked his
stunt up into a vaudeville sketch. He
sits at his bean separator and differ
entiates between the good beans and
the bad by tossing the good bean out
into the audience with all the agility
of Howard Thurston, the card shark.
and throwing the bad beans up
against the back drop. He can pick
beans so fast that the rattle of the
l.r. = he 81
sounds like a snare drum solo and he
can play anything from yankee
Doodle to the Dead March from
Saul
A woman out in Iowa has also gone
on the stage recently. Her speciality
is knitting socks. She can knit pair
of socks in full view of the audience in
less time than it takes a spring lamb
to switch its narrative, and embroider
the name of any lady or gentleman in
the audience on the side of the sock
as she goes along. At evening per-
formances, when the size of the audi
ence seems to demand it, she further
complexities her performance by re-
peating the Declaration of 1ndepend-
ence backward while knitting the
socks. For an encore she knits a
whole union suit in four minutes.
Bill Simms of northern Michigan,
who is one of the champion milkists
of that locality, plans to go on the
stage with his pet yellow plush Jer-
sey cow. He ought to thrill the audi
ence all right, as he promises to throw
the milk into the mouth of any crying
baby in the audience. direct from
manufacturer to consumer, as it were.
He will also set fire to a papier mache
summer house on the stage at each
and every performance and then put
the fire out with milk cunningly aimed
and directed by himself as he sits be-
meath the caves of his patient bovine
and mill<s, gives correct impersona-
tions of famous war heroes and whis-
ties Listen to the Mocking Bird" at
one and the same time. That is going
some even for vaudeville and Bill
promises to be headliner. rF1
Personal
Inquirer-Napoleon lived almost
| entirely upon onions. This explains
two things-his great strength and the
reason for exiting him to the desolate
island of st. Helena.
G. R. F.-The legislature is So
called because it does about every
thing in the world excepting 1egislate
Young Writer-There is only enc
sure way of landing all of your stories
| in a magazine and that is to marry
the editors daughter.
Mildred-Take one quart of carbolic
acid before each meal for a few days
and your cold will soon disappear.