Gunnison news-champion., 1916-07-21

Tn pleased to have met you.' says
Wainwright I'm q devotee to the
great joss Booze. but my Illuminating
facilities are unrepaired.' says be. or
woris To that effect. And I hate says
be. to see fools trying to run the
world
4 never touch DROP says I. and
there are many kinds Of fools. and the
world runs on its own apex. accord
ing 10 science. with no meddiing from
me-
-'I was referring. says he. to the
president of this republic. His country
is In Q desperate condition Its treas
ury Is empty. it's on the verge OF war
with Nicamala, and II IL wasn't for
the hot weather the people would be
starting revolutions In every town.
Here Is a nation goes on Wainwright.
-on the brink Of destruction A man
OF intelligence could rescue IL from Its
impending doom in one day by issuing
the necessary edicts and orders. Pres
ldent Gomez knows nothing of states
manship or policy. Do you know Adam
Smithr
-Lemme see,' says I. There was n
one cared man named Smith in Fort
Worth, Tex. but think his first name
was
81 am referring to the political econ
omist.' says Wainwright.
"'S'mother Smith. them says I.
The one ! speak Of never was ar
rested
$50 Wainwright boils some more
with indignation at the insensibility Of
people who are not corpulent to fll
public positions. and then he tells me he
is going out to the presidents summer
palace. which Is four miles from Aguas
Frescas. to instruct him In the art Of
running steam heated republics.
"'Come along with me. Trotter'
says he. and I'll show you what brains
can do
Anything in itr I asks.
1.-The satisfaction says ne. of re-
deeming q country Of 100000 popula-
tion from ruin back to prosperity and
peace
"'Great! says l. I'll go with you.
I'd prefer to eat live broiled lobster
just now, but give me liberty as second
choice II can't be in at the death
wainwright and me permeates
through the town, and he halts at n
rum dispensary.
Have you any money! he asks.
"'I have, says !. fishing out my al.
yer dollar. I always go about with
adequate sums Of money
Then wen drink says Vain.
wright.
"'Not me- says !. Not any demon
rum or any Of its ramifications for
mine. It's one OF my non-weaknesses.'
Its my falling says he. What's
your particular soft pointT
Industry. says ! promptly. I'm
hardworking. diligent. Industrious and
energetic
"'My dear Mr.. Trotter.' says he
surely I've known you long enough to
tell you you are a liar. Every man
must have his own particular weakness
and his own particular strength In 9th
er things. Now you will buy me Z
drink OF rum. and we viii call on Presi
dent Gomez
"Well, sir" Trotter went ON, 1--WE
walks the four miles out. through q
virgin conservatory Of palms and ferns
and other roof garden products, to the
presidents summer White House. II
was blue and reminded you Of what
you see on the stage In the third act,
which they describe as same as the
first on the programs.
There was more than fifty people
waiting outside the iron fence that sur.
rounded the house and grounds. There
was generals. agitators and epergnea
In gold lace uniforms and citizens
in diamonds and panama hats. ali
waiting to get an audience with the roy.
al five card draw. And in kind OF q
summer house in front OF the mansion
We could see burned sienna man eat.
ing breakfast out Of gold dishes and
taking his time. judged that the
crowd outside had come out for their
morning orders and requests and was
afraid to intrude.
But c. Wainwright wasn't. The
gate was open, and he walked inside
and up to the presidents table as conf
dent AZ q man who knows the head
waiter In fifteen cent restaurant
And went with him because l had
only IS cents. and there was nothing
else to do.
THE Comes man rises from his chail
and looks. colored man as he was, like
he was about to call out for corporal oi
the guard. post No. /. But Wainwright
says some phrases to him in peculiar
" lubricating manner, and the first
thing you know we was all three Of ul
seated at the table, with coffee and
rolls and iguana outlets coming a. fast
~ about ninety poems could rustic 'em
''And then Wainwright begins to
talk. but the president interrupts him.
".You Yankees. says he, polite, .as-
suredly take the cake for assurance,
assure you or words to that effect.
He spoke English better than you or