The Sunday telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1914-1927, 1916-01-30

fall, IL was rich. Jokes in which unuertahers
played prominent parts were the best.
Sickness, too, was inherently funny. II a
man had q bad cold a laugh could always De
brought from his stricken conversation. Comic
artists Of the day pictured the influenza victim
wrapped in blankets and seated as close to a
crate fire MS the law allows, with his feet In n
tub of steaming water. Beneath the cut would
appear such lines as: "Sprig the sweed sprig.
now bloobs every thig."
slapstick stuff. But, come to think of II,
things aren't much different today. Sickness
Of the so-called milder sorts, such ms tho grip,
bronchitis, mumps or the measles, Is consid-
cred n good deal Of a Joke.
You meet Bill Jones on the street. Raw.
sloppy day. Street cars creeping along. auto
mobiles s%kidding, pedestrians slipping. A raw
wind tips around the corner and you pull Bill
Jones into u neighboring doorway, or through
a swinging door, and the two OF you freshen
up your acquaintance. .aa''
A coke" on Tom. "a
Rotten" & 80
"Seen Tom Smith lately?"
Haven't that"
"Where's he keeping himselfT'
Toms sick" .f
Don't say. WhaSSa natter!
Grip" .r Hat
Grip? Don't say"
"Yep. Went to bed last Tuesday. They say
he's got it bad" t
$50 TOMS got the grip. That's good! That's
rich! Tom always kids me about being care
full. He said he didn't have to watch out.
Wouldn't put on his heavies when the cold
snap came. Wouldn't wear rubbers. Then
1rbop 7 had thnt cOlh in NnVernher--ynl rn-
member that bad cold l had-Tom kldded me
about It. And now he has the grip. That's
sure rich. Wait until l see Tom" . O.
OF course it's barely possible, no, come to
think of 1t, quite possible that he may not see
Tom. That is, see him alive. His next glimpse
OF Tom may reveal that grip victim framed In
a neat background of black wood and roses,
with a self-confdent, alert individual in a black
frock coat lowering in the background, busy
tipping off the pallbearers how TO comport
themselves when the time ONES.
tits q good Joke, a fine one on Tom. Let's
have another one. Just wait til I see Tom
I'll sure kid him about him having the grip"
AS a matter Of cold, sober fact, most per-
sons do think that the grip is n good deal Of a
laughing matter. Painful, no doubt, like having
a tooth filed. Disagreeable, surely, like paying
taxes. Inconvenient, very, like. rising at 3 of a
frosty morning. But dangerous? VINO ever
heard OF a man dying Of the grip.
Your cocksure friend, who doesn't believe in
doctors. anyway, and thinks we all would be
better off and never i'll would we only take an
ice-cold shower on rising in the morning (but
who never takes this icy horror himself)-he.
the cocksure friend, will tell you that grip is
child's play-the burlesque OF diseases. Why,
he has had 1t every winter for the last twenty,
ever since he was a short-trousered boy, In
fact, and had to walk ten miles to school every
morning, and, perforce, ten miles back in the
evening. And when he got a touch OF the grip,
influenza, they called 1t in those days Cor in
fuenzee') his mother would load him full OF
ouinine pills and give him a scaldlng. hot bath
and put him to bed.
And the next morning when he had to get up
he did 1t, by George. And, furthermore, he
MIXED four cows and fed the chickens, and
then walked that delightful ten miles to school,
Heroic treatment was what did it. People are
too soft nowadays, and pay too much attention
to little ailments.
The General Does the Hearing.
Yes, perhaps we are a soft and degenerate
race. No longer can we live on salt pork ant