The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1916-03-24


age Jones, his friends called him
complained that he had a craving to
take part in the dynamic activities Of
life and was hampered by the neces-
sity of spending his dead uncIe's mil
lions in New York, Waldemar, the
owner of an important and decent
newspaper, told him to 90 in for fol-
lowing up queer advertisements in the
newspapers, and that he would pay
for tracing down fraudulent advertis-
crs. The first ad that attracted Jones
was this one:
wANTED-PERFORM ON B-FLAT
trombone. Can use at once. Apply with
instrument after ! p. m. 300 East 1OOth
street
And this is the story of the ad:
Advisor! Do you expect me to
blight my budding career by poison
Gus pun like that?" demanded Average
Jones with a wry face.
1T may be a poisonous pun, but it's
an arresting catch-word," said Waldo
mar, unmoved. Single column. about
Caps and lower case, and black-faced
type for the name and title. Insert
twice a week in every New York and
Brooklyn paper"
Suppose, then, do burst into flame
to this effect?" queried the prospec-
tive Advisor" EFT apres? as we
proudly say after spending a week in
Paris"
"Apres? Oh, plenty of things.
You'll be flooded" promised Waldo
mar.
And between times I'm to go skip
ping about, chasing B-flat trombones,
/ suppose.
You'll have no time for skipping.
Within six months, if you're not sand
bagged or jailed on fake libel suits.
you'll have a unique photography Of
swindles. Then I'll begin to come and
buy your knowledge to keep my own
columns clean"
The speaker looked up to meet the
gaze of an iron-gray man with a harsh.
sallow face.
Excuse my interrupting," said the
newcomer. Just one question, Wal
demar. Who's going to be the nomi-
nee?"
.'Linder."
.Linder? Surely not! His federal
job?"
HE resigns II two weeks"
His record will kill him"
What record? You and | know
he's a CRATER. But can we prove any
all the money"
Wasn't there an old scandal
woman case?" asked the questioner
vaguely.
That Washington mans wife? Too
old. Under would deny it fatty. and
there would be no witnesses. The
woman is dead-killed by his brutal
treatment of her, they say. But the
whole thing was hushed up at the time
by Linder's pull, and when the hus-
band threatened to kill him Under
quietly set commissioner of insanity
on the case and had the man put
away. He's never appeared since. No.
that wouldn't be politically effective"
The gray man nodded and walked
away, musing.
"Egbert, the traction boss" ex-
plained Waldemar Were generally
on opposite sides, but this time we're
both against Under. Egbert wants a
cheaper man for mayor | want a
straighter one. And could get him
this year if Under wasn't so we'll for
titled. However. to get back to our
project, Mr.. Jones'"
Get back to it. they did with such
absorption that when the group broke
up, several hours later. Average
Jones was committed. by plan and
rote, to the new and hopeful adven-
ture of Life. What time the Honor
able William Under matured his de-
signs on the mayoralty, Average
Jones sat in a suite Of offices in AS
tor court, a location which Waldemar
had advised as being central expen-
sive and inspirational of confidence
and considered, with whirling brain,
the minor woes of humanity. 1t was
hard, honest study and helpful toll
rather than the romance and adven.
ture which he had hoped for, until, in
a quiet street in BroNtlyn, of which
he had never so much 81 heard, there
befell that which gave Average Jones
part in the greater drama of the
metropolis. The party Of the second
part was the Honorable William Lin
der.
Mr.. Under sat at five p. m, of an
early summer day. behind lock and
bolt. The third floor front room of
his ornate mansion on Brooklyn's park
slope was dedicated to peaceful
thought. Sprawled in huge and soft
lily upholstered chair at the window
he took his ease in his house. The
chair had beer a recent gift from an
anonymous admirer whose political
necessities. the Honorable Mr.. Under
idly surmised. had not yet driven, him