The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1916-03-17
POLICE PROBLEMS TOO
MUCH EVEN FOR WOODS
Questions Submitted by Official Organ of the Force Are
Bafhers, Dealing With Fat Cops and Coal Holes,
Gunner and Sewers.

sioner Woods. ITO give the nswer out
for publication would"
An. h You can't answer the ques-
uons?' the Commissioner was asked.
wal a minute. didn't sAy I
couldn't answer them. And by the way.
what's the latest Park Row dope about
me willard Moran box night? DO you
"One minute yourself, C'mish How
about this problem In the bulletin. ~
you found a person violating AN ordi-
nance and after asking him his name
and address q discovered that YOU
had no summons with you:' There's
a catcher-how about itr'
Deep Thirst for knoSIedwe,
but from this time on Commissioner
woods seemed to have an obscssion
that he was doing the interviewing in
stead OF being interviewed. He asked
TOT q straight tip about when the war
would be over. and which side would
win. and how about villa, and n Nexi-
can intervention would. in the opinion
OF Park Row.. be necessary, and what
kind Of weather the paraders were likely
tn have for the seventeenth Of ireland
celebration to-day.
Answe to these questions were
Forthcoming with accuracy and prompt
ness. w~hereupon the Commissioned was
asked once again he or even a
larger member Of the force Would do
down In the coal hole II he became
wedged there on the way to a IRE box
In a n~eighborhood where the non-Eng-
fish speaking residents could not UNDER
stand his cries Of "Woof." Weeeecsse 80
Police Get a cop, somebody :"
While the Commissioner was still do
ing a lot OF mental puss footing aroun
10 try to chang the topic OF conversa-
ton he was told hat the only answer
TO the question which had come to
light was a suggestion that the cop
stay wedged until the janitor who owned
the chute had ordered another ton OF
coal. Then. so the volunteer problem
solver who had worked out the aues-
ton 50 far said. the coal man would.
upon finding the now of coal lnpeded,
begin To investigate and therefore learn
that the coal WAS being held back by
a pair Of feet fastened to a cop.
but here again. as was pointed out
and the Commissioner agreed that a
new difficulty presented Itself with this
solution OF the problem--so long a time
would have elapsed that 4, would be alb
s~olu'ely superfiuous and silly for the
cop. once he had been released a day
or moro later. 10 turn In a fire alarm.
As for the last question on the List.
the one that asks the force what should
BE- done II when about to arrest "A gun
man after a murder the gunman threw
his coat containing the pistol into a
sewer" the consensus of opinion in and
out OF the department was that there
was no occasion for excitement on the
part OF the police. Here. IL was said.
was obviously a case for the psycholo-
gists. not the punitive branch of the
'aw. the argument being that any muir
ierer who would pause AZ 40 engross-
ing a moment carefully TO unbutton his
coa, and take II of and then throw the
coat away In order 10 get rid Of his
cannon when all he had 10 do was TO
throw the cannon away must he an all
arourd plain nut who SHOULD be sent 10
Bellevue for observation. no. 20 "A cell.
The Commissioner was asked II he
had on hand any 81 the forces an
swers to the problems listed in the Bud
ietin. With regret he answered that
no answer had been turned in.