The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-05-25
A Theory
OF Progress
By ETHEL HOLMES

Miss Mary Medford and Miss Gwen
dolen Tracy, chums. twenty-five and
twenty-three years old respectively
both rich in their own right, thought
much on the same lines.
"Gwen," said Miss Medford, Il have
an idea that progress is the only means
to happiness. We must be constantly
going onward and upward. You and !
are apparently at the end of our rope
and still very young. We have indie
pendent fortunes. If we marry ordi-
nary men Wen be bored through life
Let us go abroad and each marry a
title"
What kind of titleG'
"A knight, for instance"
"Then, | suppose, according to your
theory, in time we'd have to divorce
the knight and marry baron. From
the baron we'd have to rise to an earl
then duke. and SO on till we got a
king. But I'M with YOU"
The two girls sailed for Germany,
where every other respectable man is
noblc-at least a Non-but that was
not the kind of nobility they wanted.
So they went on into France. Here
they found it difficult to understand
what title was worth France being
a republic, they couldn't see what ad,
vantage a count or duke had over a
commoner. BESIDES, the old nobility
were all either legitimists or Oreanists
and the most recent ones, Bonapart
lists. If the sovereign of either won
the government the others would be
down and out. Our heroines, being
practical American girls. had no use
for uncertainties.
So they went over into England.
Britain has always been considered
the best preserve in the world for
noble game The law of primogeniture
provides for one branch of the family
at the expense of the others. But the
prizes were correspondingly few. The
scions of some of the oldest blueblood-
ed titles were or had been married to
music hall girls, and this further re
duced the American girls chances
Though they had brought letters tc
families in England and were admit
ted socially. neither of them saw any
thing worth purchasing, for really
that is what their intentions meant
After spending several months in Eng
land looking over the bargain counters
they made up their minds to return t
America and take up some rad. Gwel
said she would prefer a dog.
But what they had been hunting TO
ali over Europe came to them on tn
steamer coming home. They had me
young woman in,aEngland whor
they had asked to he J them in thei
quest. This lady informed them tina
two young noblemen the Earl of Elm
hurst and the Marquis of Bablingtol
were going to America incog. Nhethe
the girls purposely bought tickets on I'll
same steamer as the nobleman, or vic
versa. does not appear. At any rat
the four crossed together, and befo
they had been out twenty-four hou
they were as thick as peas ia poo
The noblemen passed by or6na
names, Elmhurst as Mr.. Calklns al
darlington being Mr.. Strynger IN
did not tell the girls that they we
nohlemen incog, and the girls did I
ten them that they had been inform
concerning them Calkins froze
Mary; strynger made up to Gwen. 1
men both declared that If they eN
married they would wish to be M
r,ed for love. Naturally, after suci
statement, the girls would have b
very foolish to tell them that II
knew them to be British peers.
OF course it could not be e1pee
that the two American girls Wo
snare two such men within the
DAYS of a voyage, but they came '
near together. The night before I
made the port of New York both
nles were on deck sitting close
dark corners. CalkinO told Mary
he wished to give her some meme
of the voyage which she had mao!