The Sentinel=record., 1916-12-10

l
 WillcoX-That's so. He was run ming, wasn't he. l wonder what went wrong in Kansas
 Kansas-I can tell you. Two dollar wheat, ten dollar hogs, Ford auto miles and player pianos.
 WillcoX-Do you think he kept you out of war?
 Kansas-I dunno. But somebody got us out of debt
 The national chairmen continued tC comment referring 10 the suffragists Henry Ford and Demon Rum who had just been thrown out of several more states The Demon Rum sang pathetic song depicting the hope less future for Demon Rum and his rummy crew" when the follies closed with the following:
 McCormick-lt's funny isn't it?
 Wilcox Whats funny? If any things funny tell it to me need a laugh
 McCormick-It funny how the world keeps going around, no matter what happens.
 WillcoX-Yes but it will move very slowly for the next four years.
 Next came a vaudeville sketch, the scene a theatrical booking office, with Roosevelt and Bryan. as "The Criss Cross twins" Senator Lewis, Colonel George Harvey and the other national figures applying for engage ments. Roosevelt and Bryan were first tried out
 T. R.
 The Victoria Cross I'd greatly prize; The Iron Cross l do despise; But if l can't the hero be, Some medals of my own you'll sec They'll get the double cross from ME Bryan
 They got the cross of gold from me f; The Nobel Prize I've hoped to see, Now. humbly, bearing my cross come To say You shall not cruelty the bum Uron the cursed cross of RUM" r R-Say, Willie what is the diff ference between what you intend to do to the democratic party and what have done to the republican party?
 Bryan-Well, Teddy, what is the diff ference?
 T. Rt-You intend to make the dem oeratie party dry and I have made the republican party SWEAT.
 When T. R. and Bryan had been ordered out of the booking office. Senator Lewis, of Illinois, whip of the senate appeared and recited long series of verses, of which the follow ing are typical:
 Who guides unruly senate bucks. And keers the party on it's trucks Who is, in short the whip de luxe?
 Jim Ham. Who followed Hughes upon the trail And tied a tin can to his tail; And put the din in dinner pail? Jim Ham. Who is the white house blushing pet, The truly, only, one best bet. Of the democratic smartest set?
 Jim Ham.
 Col George Harvey, who Credicted the election of Hughes by a large ma jority. next appeared and was chided by the vaudeville agent Harvey said he was a lightning calculator, and that he had predicted the first nomi- nation and election of a certain pro- lessor in New Jersey"
 Harvey-M Moreover, four years ago, I calculated exactly what electoral votes each of the three candidates would have.
 Agent-Wonderfu you done any of the same kind of calculating lately?
 Harvey (Truculently) If you are going to be personal I'll not stay here and stand for it. I don't think want a job from you, anyway. The North American Review is good enough vaudeville for me; Good Day.
 Another travesty entitled the Ghost Skit" was cast in a "Spool Court" with a court sitting in judg ment on the astral spirits of aspirant' for positions in the new cabinet. Spir it's of Secretary of Commerce Red field. Henry Ford. Postmaster Gen eral Burleson, Col. House, Secretary Humility, Vance Mccormick, Frank l. Polk, Counsellor to the state depart ment. and others appeared, all to b' rejected by the judges. When the an , nouncer heralded the spirit of Henr, Ford. the astral body of the Michi gan manufacturer arrived "rattling lot of tin cans
 Chief Judge-The music is familiar What seek you. MT. Ford?
 Ford-I want to be secretary of thu treasury.
 Chief Judge--Why?
 Ford-So I can find out how t make money.
 Chief Judge Warden sweep ou the padded cell for MT. Ford.
 Announeer-The spirit of Joseph r Tumuhy, secretary to the president
 Chief Judge When did you aequir' an astral body, NIT. Tamulty?