The Johnson City comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1916-1917, 1916-04-20
SQUAD ROOM STORIES.

an Indian wrappar round ye, it's
tough enough. | wus sick whin they
TUX me there, and I'll walk home dead
mkt time. / woke up in the morning
among a lot of old vets-the one
mkt to me having the heaves. They
first thing l knew they brought q
trolly-truck in loaded with grub and
put it on trays at each mans bed,
but divil a bite did they give me. Says
| to the nurse, where's mine?' You'll
get yours in time, says she, Being
a greenhorn / said nothing, for ! was
thinking about the black bottle. AT
ter a while she KEN to me and asked
me questions about meself that made
me blush; and thin she stuck a glass
pipestem in me mouth, saying, Don't
bite it, L won't says |, nor food
either. l found out after that it's
the way they have of taking your
timper away from ye. After long
wait the doctor KEN in and talked
to the min, and said to me, We'll
clane we out today-and he tould the
truth. At 10 o'clock the nurse
stopped at me side wild a pint and
tould me to take it. l did. 'Howly
Moses says l. what's that?' It's
phosfourous and sulphurated hydro
jane,' says she. Well, me hearties,
veil not forgit the name nor the
smell if liver We git the Whit of it.
tbs made from soldier socks and in
cubator eggs, I'm thinking. When
the whistle blew in KEN the truck
wild the grub and | drew a bowl OF
soup and three pills, and at supper
time | won out wild coup of tay
burnt bread and more pills. l was
that hungry / could ate horse, an
tould the nurse, but she only smiled.
Whin the lights wint out | heard Cap
Smith beyant me tell the orderly to
bring him duck. l didn't know they
played favorites in the horsepital, but
what's the use talking. Mkt morn
ing the truck arrived on time and
found on me platter one egg and skim
milk. Thank Hiven, says l, they
missed the pills! Not so, me buckho.
The nurse was on her job, for in a
minute she was back to me and says,
says she: How are we this morning
Mr.. Ryan? I'm as wake as cat,
says /. Here says she, take these
pills, they'll strengthen ye.' At 10
o'clock she KEN to me agin, with a
bowl of soup. What kind of soup is
it, says /. 'Tis pea soup says she.
'Yis,' says l, 'payfowl soup is mkt TO
duck, giving her hint about Smith
but she only grinned. Well, to make
a long story short, they kept the
same thing going till | made up my
mind they had carload of pills left,
an / tould the doc. the third morn
ing l was well and strong, an he
pardoned me. Whin | got to the
barracks / was that starved wild pills
that l found out I'm wearing ball
bearing bowels. AS soon as l can
I'll go to Bristol and drink some
whisky to take the taste of that sui
phurated hydrojane out of me
mouth"
Il notice." said the Oracle, that
we have our scan. mag. affairs just
the same as other well regulated
communities, and sub. rosa news is
as sweet morsel to us old derelicts
as town gossip is to old women. The
plight of my next door neighbor in
the ward excites my sympathy for
he means all night-not on account
of his actions, but because he got
caught. He claims to be lay
preacher of the hard-shell Baptist
kind, and has just heard from back
home. 1t seems that female of the
species more deadly than the average
round here, had written to his wife
about this preachers hankering af-
ter a young chicken, and that he was
guilty of osculatory offenses, etc.
Friend wife came here and found him
in company with the good-looker Sun
day evening, and of course created a
scene. Now she has filed claim for
half his pension, making charges of
the discriminating conduct. The wife,
whose kisses are believed by all we'll
regulated social units to be the limit
to which all passionate pilgrims, SOL
diers or others, may safely go in the
field of endearing hugs and amative
advertisement, is certainly entitled to
relief in the shape of pension coin
and for other reasons / will not men
ton"
Said the Old Hero ION account
of an acquired habit of Indulgence in
seats occasionally, it has become
throwup with me at times whether to
take the hospital gown or choose the
cellar-job, to practice self-restraint.
Well, this time l accepted 80, grace
fully given me by the governor and
slipped cog. The reason, oh, the
new dump-boss is a graduate of Spill
mans Rank of the Phoebus Branch
and as is usually the case with these
drs., is too well trained"
When it came to his turn, the old
Rounder said During the last year
the nicknames of the different
Branches have been changed by the
substitution of monikers known now
to most of the comrades who prefer
to sleep under a tree during the
summer time. AS near as l can re-
call they are: Togas, Cold Storage
Dayton. 'Hunkitown;' Leavenworth,
Standard OIL; Danville, Cannon
ville;' Hampton, The Canteen; Mil
The Line Santa Monica,
'Altenheim;' Battle Mountain, Lung
err Marion, Gas City: Johnson City,
'Mush.'"
Lieut.. Macauley says, Now that
several members of D barrack change
the color of their hoary locks to
black, red and yellow each week I'm
seriously considering changing mine
to green"
DR.. Briggs of d Company, said to
the bunch who were talking about
spring tonics: 1.-The tonic which the