Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1916-12-28

BY Henry Burke, who gossips in a
friendly way, telling him Of his pre-
decessor, Rev. Whittimore, who, be-
cause he wore a cossock under his sur
plice was accused by the congregation
Of going without pants. Rev. Whit
timore was also accused of practicing
celibacy by Virginia Bascom, the
daughter of the senior warden, who
afterward admitted she did not know
what celibacw was.
"Once Virginia got to climbin' her
family tree, to find out where her an.
oestors came from. She thought that
possibly they might be noblemen. But
! guess there wasn't very much doin'
up the tree until she got down to New
York. and paid man to tell her. She
brought back an illuminated coat of
arms with q lion rampantin' on top;
but she was the same old Virginia
still What do care about my ances-
tors! It doesn't make no difference to
me. I'm Just myself anyway, no mat
ter how you figure; and I'm lot more
worried about where I'm goin' to, than
where I came from. Virginia's got
book called Who's Who. that she's
always studying. But the only thing
that matters, 1t seems to me, is Who's
What"
81 wonder she hasn't married. re.
marked Donald innocently.
"Ah, that's the trouble. She's like
= thousand others without no special
occupation In life. She's wastin' lot
Of bottled up interest and sympathy
on foolish things. If she'd married
and had seven babies, they would
have seen to 1t that she didn't make a
fool Of herself However, it isn't her
fault. She's volunteered to act as
Deaconess to every unmarried parsUn
we've had; and it's miracle ot won.
ders one of 'em didn't succuniS; par.
sons are such-oh, do excuse ME!
mean &c injudicious on the subject
of matrimory."
"But, Mrs. Burke, don't you think
clergyman ought to be married
mani"
"Well, to tell you the truth, faint
me that's been doin' the thinkin' along
those lines, for most of the parsons
we've had. I've been more of a first
aid to the injured, in the matrimonial
troubles of our parish, and the Lord
only knows when love-making has
got as far as actual injury to the par
ties engaged-well thinkin' amt much
use. But there's Ginity for example.
She's been worryin' herself thin for
the last five years, doin' matrimonial
equations for the clergy. She's firm
believer in the virtue Of patience, and
II the Lord only keeps on sendin' us
unmarried rectors, Ginity is goin' to
have her day. It's just naturally
bound to come. I amt sure whether
she's got right to be still runnin'
with the lambs or not, but that don't
matter much,-old maids will rush in
where angels fear to tread"
Maxwell smiled. "Old maids and old
bachelors, are pretty much alike.
know a few of the latter, that no wo
man on earth could make into regu-
lar human beingss
"Oh, yes; old bachelors aren't the
incest thing the Lord ever made
Most Of 'em are mighty selfish crit
ters, take 'em as they run; and man
that's never had a real great love In
his life doesn't know what life is."
That's quite true,' Donald respond
ed. with such warmth that Mrs. Burke
glanced at him suspiciously. and
changed her tune, as she continued:
Seems to me a parson, OF any 9th.
81 man, is very foolish to marry be.
fore he can support . wife comforta.
bly, and lay by something for a rainy
day. though. The last rector had five
babies and seventeen cents to feed
'em with. Yes, there were little OIL
i've branches on all four sides of the
table, and under the table too. The
Whittimores seemed to have their
culver full of 'em, as the psalmist
says. Mrs. Whittimore used to say
to me, The Lord will provide, Just
to keep her courage up, poor thing!
Well, i suppose the Lord did provide;
but / had TO do lot Of hustlin'. Just
the same. No, sir, IL parson marries,
he better find a woman who has out.
grown her short skirts. Young things