New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-01-30

ut isn't so bad You're awfuIiy poor"
The wicked doctor winked with the eye
furthest removed from the director, but kept
my face straight and YEARLY replied:
Thank you, lady The children will en- Joy
them
She took the hint and gave them to my Off
spring. and they Immediately fell to quar-
relling over the fruit. This called down the [
wrath Of the director and he'd hopes that he
would remember his animal training days and
give them their just deserts. But no; he con-
fined his punishment to scathing remarks.
which hadn't the slightest effect upon the little
dears Nine. Merova then took the matter
into her own hands Her fiery temper rose TO
it's highest pitch, and. reaching over my pros
trate form. she administered resounding
srnacks on each little innocent cheek, and order
was restored.
All right-'nough fur that scene said the
director Now lights Begin"
A row OF those CHASTITY green bulbs was
placed so that tn. light shone directly in my
eyes. The result was agonizing. | was thank
full could close my eyes occasionally and still
be in the character. else know that / should
have been blinded for life
The result OF The scene was evidently salts
factory for the director did not criticise It, but
merely remarked:
Now well git on ter the next. Stay in bed,
madam. No more need for you, doctor.
You've done yer worst-the woman's dyin'.
Now folks, listen. This is where husband
has lost his job See? You kids are cryin'
Yer hungry. Pas los, his JOB an mas dyin'
Gee. that oushter he enough ter make even
youse cry You. sick woman. turn yer head
an close yer eyes. You're about ready ter cash
in Get me2 Nov turn on the real gloom.
Give US the sob Stuff Husband, rest yer head
on yer hand. So It's all up with you. Mis-
ery's your middle name, Get me' Now,
Nine. Menova, yoI come IN. You 80 straight
to old Father Killjoy an put yer hand on his
shoulder an say, Cheer up, the worst is yet 20
GOMEZ Ask him what's the matter. He tells
yer he's lost his job. an you ask him who his
boss is, an he says Mr.. Moore Then you
say. Not M. Charles Moore, Of Wall Street,
an he mods. You say: He's my best friend.
He has kind heart | will get him TO give you
back your JOB. Cheer up See?'
(Fronl which gathered tina; ii the irt had
soul, the victim OF her wiles had heart which
beat with kindness under his .'orid waistcoat.)
Then you go to the bed an take good look
at Mother Gloom the director went on. She
don't move You lock closer Nothn doin'.
You touch her hand. It's cold Then you get
the Idea. She's cyoakedt Now you gotter
break the news 20 father. See? You 90 TO
him and help him outer his chair an steer him
ter the bed ter view the remains Seel That's
it. Now, you father. you break down an fall
on yer knees beside her ar kiss her hand an
you kids come nearer an start hollern'
Great Say. Bill, lamp ,hisi Amt that some
hot little death scene Tha,s sob stuff all
right. They'll eat i, up Come on, now. folks
Lights! Come Oh. now turn on the gloom.
Let er CO.!
And so | died at last in the most approved
and heartrendlng fashion.
Cold, hungry and weary with the long day
OF waiting, ! got into my hat and coat and
hurried into the street The world was per-
iecty black. | stumbled through jet black
wilderness in wha. Judged 10 be the direction
of the trolley. | had collided with man.
tree and telegraph post, when cheerful
voice called out from behind:
Wait minute, Mrs Gloom. You'd better
take my arm. You will be able 10 see all right
in few minutes. It's the lignts. used to be
like that when | first did pictures
1t was the good looking doctor with sense
OF humor His diagnosis was correct. BY the
time that had reached the trolley line my
sight was quite normal again
Ii was 10 o'clock when | reached home.
Penelope called TO me as | opened the door,
Its about time she said. You must be
dead.
Il am" ieebly replied. Quite dead. I've
croaked.'