The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-10-26
ales of the Town

- - SAA> - ~ ~ -
The average fellow is always will
ing to hug a delusion if it wears
petticoats.
Sometimes | am inclined to think
IT was crabapple that Eve gave
Adam and that the so-called serpent
was only worm.
Who can name word with an Il
In it?' queried the teacher of the
juvenile class. "Needle!" exclaimed
bright little miss.
Construct a sentence using the
word 'grewsome,' said the teacher.
when the man stopped shaving his
whiskers grewsome MORE" answered
Willie.
"Him?" scornfully snorted Old Bill
Misgivens. "Aw, he's the kind of
man that would try to convince you
that there is a show for the Republi-
cans to carry Arkansaw"
4 &
"A Mother" observes that some
very good church members play an ex-
cellent game of cards; but the best
of them will occasionally forget about
trump that is still out.
& 4 &
Old Bill Misgivens declares times
are gold. During the entire month of
October he has had to buy only cents
worth of chewing tobacco. The other |
fellows always had plenty.
= & &
Every husband is simply compro- )
mise-a problem in arithmetic to
which you find the answer by adding
up his faults and his virtues in separ
ate columns and then comparing the
results.
Every mother knows there are lot t
of things she should tell her daughter c
But before she gets around to it, a
daughter has likely learned it thru K
other things mother has never learn q
ed herself.
A British soldier writes back COM p
planning that it was 124 in the shade n
in the Garden of Eden last summer. o
And apparently from the dissatisfied 81
tone of his letter, he wasn't allowed c
to dress for it.
A woman said to little boy with d
his hair bobbed in his neck: "Franklyn ic
when are you going to have your hair ca
cut like papa's?" 81 don't want my is
hair cut like papa's" he replied, with
a hole in the top" Sc
Z pr
An exchange quotes Socialist ora a
tor as follows: "There is no differ
ence between Wilson and Hughes pl
They both stand for the same things.
There isn't hairs differ-yes, there
is a few hairs difference"
4 & & m u
All of US have our little rays of
sunshine that break into a golden
glow about US and throw US into rap
turous moments. Almost every day
we see fellow who hates US so hard
it has given him dyspepsia. w
"Thump-rattle-b went the W;
piano, "What are you trying to play, tn
Jane?" called out her father from the pl
next room. cts an exercise from my co
new instruction book, First Steps in Sc
Music " she answered "Well, l knew pa
you were playing with your feet" he pa
said grimly, "but don't step so heav- mi
lily on the keys-it disturbs my Ell
thoughts" va
* Co
morning prayer: The day re- at
turns and brings US the petty round
of irritating concerns and duties. tn
Help US to play the man, help US to of
perform them with laughter and kind pr
faces; let cheerfulness abound with be
industry. Give US to go blithely on on
our business all this day, bring us ult
to our resting beds weary and content it's
and undiscovered and grant US in the on
end the gift of sleep. Amen-Robert sit
Louis Stevenson. int
= da
A man who wanted to quit using the sid
weed at the rate of twenty cents
worth a week decided to economize. III,
In two weeks he had used $3.50 worth hill
of the cure and for the next two d,,
weeks he ate ten cents worth of can roc
dy and chewed five cents worth of he
gum a day. In the same period he set
also consumed two large rubber eras- of
ers, ate the rubber tips from fourteen vic
lead pencils, chewed up dozen pen fr,,
holders and browsed-off his mustache. inc
In the interest of economy he now has scr
gone back to tobacco. 10
ma,
Him" scornfully snorted Old Bill r.,
A German farmer was in search of A.
a driving horse. A friend directed 49,
him to a liveryman. Give got just ou e
the horse for you,' said the livery s,,o
man. Hes five years old, sound as +as
A dollar and goes ten miles without ~
stopping" The German shook his :; 10 .
lead mod for me-" he said; mod 40 ~
'or me. l lif eight miles from town r. r.
tut, and NIT dot horse l hat to walk h;s
pack two miles" H..
"Ill buy little farm somewhere" PC
he old man says, "and tinker there, lnu
Until it's time to go to sleep, down yoo