Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1916-02-17

HoovvALloW NEWS.
Dunk Bolts, Reg. Correspondent.
George Bingham.
copyrighted, 1915, Adams SYM
The postoffice was closed here
on February 2, ground hog day
being legal holiday in Hogwal-
low.
With the arrival of cold
weather Tobe Moseley put an.
overcoat on the scarecrow that
stood in his water melon patch
all last summer.
The Tin peddler's blind horse
ran into the Mail Carriers buggy
in front Of the postoffice Wednes-
day. Considerable damage was
done. The Mail Carrier, being Il
part of the government, has in
formed headquarters OF the Incl
dent and asked that the Tin Ped
dler be held to strict account
ability for his act.
Ellick Hellwanger saw in the
Tickville Tidings where some big
man up at Washington said a
foreign foe could land million
men on our shores in months
time. Ellick gives it as his opin-
ion that out of that number some
of them would get shot if they
started anything.
Every time there is a tragedy
some witness turns UP at the crit
ical time and muddles the evil
dence by declaring that he heard
about two more pistol shots than
were really fired.
Frisby Hancock's watch under
went its annual cleaning this
week. He took il apart, oiled up
the pulleys, wiped off the bearings
and frightened up all the taps.
Then he took his watch key, which
he wears on his chain, and wound
up the springs. And now his
watch is in such good condition.
it runs several hours faster than
it did before.
Sidney Hooks is holding on tn
his old squirrel rifle until he sees
what they do about preparedness.
If the country seems to favor dis
he will dispose of it
for the best offer.
In life everybody seems to be
wanting a reserved seat for the
price of a general admission
ticket.
Fit Smith says the more a per
son knows the more he has the
and for this reason he
has quit taking the Tickville lid
ings. Poke Eazlcy says he has
been reading the 1idings for sew
eral years and has not had u
symptom.
Sim Flinders thinks he has
cornered the weather conditions
for the coming year. Wednesday,
which was national ground hog
day, Sim SGT a steel trap and
the wiley little animal
just as he was in the act Of she'd
ding his shadow across the frozen
ground. This interference of the
general custom of the ground hog
has left the public in muddled-
up condition and there is nothing
left for us to do but to take the
weather as it comes, day by day.
Cricket Hicks reported having
seen a lizard one day this week.
Lizards have been gone for many
weeks, but Cricket is always
about that. far behind the excite
ment.
5 The Excelsior Fiddling band
played in front of the postoffice
and drowned out an ar
gument going on between Poke
Eazlcy and Jefferson Potlocks.
Prof. Sap Spradlen, who has
been getting next to nature in the
wilds of the Gander Creek bot
toms for the, past few days, has
returned with the news that he
has discovered a new stream.
There are several reasons why he
believes it has not been discov-
cred before, among them being
the fact that he saw no wild ami
NAL tracks and empty bait cans
on its banks. His main reason
for believing it is an entirely new
stream is the fact that its water
tastes fresh.
The Call Of Duty.
What does my little man want