The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-12-07
Tales of the Town

ties that when we can't explain II any
other way, we blame il onto the wo.
men.
Hey, Moike, and phwate do ye t'ink
of these new sanitary drinkin' cups? ~
"Sure, Pat, and soon well have to
spit on our hands with an eye-drop-
perl"
A new face at the door. my friend,
We great it with whyme,
And we hope she'll come to us in
droves-
The girl on the brand new dime.
Says Old Bill Misgivens: "We claim
to be just as honest as anybody, but
right at this time, if neighbours hen
were laying in our barn, we'd be the
last person in the world TO tell the
neighbor about it,"
II doesn't do much good to write a
sarcastic paragraph announcing that
the price of women's shoes has gone
to $40, because by the time it gets
into the paper, you learn that the
shoes have gone to $50.
4 4
A farmer, replying to comment
on the amount of money he was
spending to put his son through col
lege, said; eyes, it does take a lot of
money, but I'd rather leave my money
in my boy than to him"
"Did ye take yer husbands tenn
perature as | telt ye tea, Mrs. Pru
die 81 did that, doctor | borrowed
a barometer frae a neighbor and put
it on his chest, and as it said vera
dry gied him a pint o. beer and
he's gone off tae work"
= 4
Jones owes Smith; Smith owes
Green. and Green, in turn, owes Jones.
Funny game, isn't it? If each man
does his part, it makes short work of
their respective accounts
But-(We'll leave the rest to your
magination-wh would YOU do?)
4 q
The boys were being entertained at ,
dinner, consisting of {
'ich and fanciful dishes. Turning to !
me of the youngsters, the head of the I
Institution asked, well, what will you
ave next" 81 think I'll have
jimmy ache!" the lad replied
In case there are any skunks about q
our place that you were about to
brow away as "white Elephants"
ave them. The Kansas state agricul- :
nral college says the skunk is
DING to play "A big part in the fur
ldustry in the future, and their value
ill rise enormously.
Jorn Bosovich, late of Austria, APP
lied to the federal court at Hammond
nd, for citizenship papers. Clerk
emstock put these questions and got
nese answers: "Who is President of
ne United States? "Mr. Wilson"
Who makes the laws?" "The Con-
ress." "Who elects the President ?" !
said Bosovich. He got
is papers.
Monaghan's friend appeared the
ny after the wake, looking as if he
nd been in a football game or had
zen hit by pile driver. "And did
,u enjoy yourself at the wake?"
onaghan asked. 1--WE sure had the
wills own time,' replied Pat "There
as only one sound nose left in the
'rty after it was over, and that one
'longed to the tay kittle." II,
One of the government scientists at
ashington tells of visit made by a oo
lend to the house of an eminent =
ofessor. The professor was at the ~,
ne examining dark brown sub sa
ance spread on paper "Will you,"
asked the visitor, "kindly let me
ace a little Of this on your tongue? :
y taste has become vitiated by wi
mpling ali sorts Of materials" Ger
My" said the friend. sticking out ae
J tongue. The professor took lit u
of the substance under analysis
d placed it on the others tongue. ~,
e latter worked it around for fully q
minute, tasting it much as he would wi
sweet. Mote any effect?" asked SCI
, professor. mo; none.N at does Pit
paralyze or prick your tongue ?"
OF that | can detect" 81 thought
/. Now how does it taste?" every ,
ter" "Um-m; all right" "What =,
it?" inquired the friend. 81 don't but
DIV. That's what | am trying to