Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1916-01-13
A Brakeman Goes To Church.

ooho iSi hhOlN' fhhA " iiHt
church did you attend 2"
(which do you guess ?" he asked.
"Some union mission church." haZ-
arded.
NO." he said, 81 don't like TO run on
these branch roads very much. don't
often 60 TO church, but when do, want
TO run on the main line, where your run
is regular and you 60 on schedule time
and don't have TO wait on connections.
| don't like TO run on branch. Good
enough. but don't like it."
Episcopal" | guessed.
Limited express" he said, ''all palace
cars and $2 extra for seat, fast time and
only stop at big stations. Nice line, but
too exhaustive for brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductors punch and
lantern silver plated, and no train boys
allowed. Then the passengers are al
lowed 10 talk back at the conductor. and
it makes them too free and easy. No, |
couldn't stand the palace cars. Rich
road, though. Don't often hear OF a re-
ceiver being appointed for that line;
Some mighty nice people travel on ii too.
"Universalists ?" suggested.
BROAD guage," said the brakeman.
"Does too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels on pass. Conductor
doesn't get a fare once in fifty miles.
Stops at flag stations and won't run into
anything but union depot. No smok-
ing Car on the train Train orders are
rather vague, tho, and the train men don't
get along we'll with the passengers. No,
don't 60 TO the Universalist, but know
some good men who run on that road"
presbyterian p asked.
marrow guage, eh ?" said the brake
man. "Pretty track, straight as rule
tunnel right through mountain rather
than 90 around it; spirit level grade pas
sengers have to show their tickets before
they get on the train. Mighty strict road,
but the cars are little narrow have to
sit one in seat ard no room in the aisle
to dance. Then there is no stop-over
tickets allowed got to go straight through
to the station you're ticketed for, or you
can't get on at all. When the Car is full
no extra coaches cars built at the shop
TO hold just so many and nobody else al
lowed on. But you don't often hear of
an accident on that road. It's run right
up to the rules -
Maybe you joined the Free Thinkers ?"
| said.
"Scrubroad," said the brakeman; "dirt
road bed and no ballast; no time card
and no train dispatcher. All trains run
wild, and every engineer makes his own
time, just as he pleases. Smoke if you
want to kind of -as-you-please road.
Too many side tracks and every switch
open all the time, with the Switchman
sound asleep and the target lamp dead
out Get on as you please and get off
when you want to. Don't have 10 show
your tickets, and the conductor isn't ex-
pected to do anything but amuse the pas
sengers. No, sir was offered pass,
but don't like TO travel on road that
has no terminus. Do you know sir, !
asked a division superintendent where
that road run to, and he said he hoped TO
die il he knew. asked him if the gen.
eral superintendent could tell me, and he
said he didn't believe they had general
superintendent, and if they did he didn't
know anything more about the road than
the passengers. asked him who he re-
ported to, and he said nobody asked
a conductor who he got his orders from,
and he said he didn't take orders from
any living man or dead ghost. And when
| asked the engineer who he got his or
ders from, and he said he'd like to see
anybody give him orders; he'd run the
thing TO suit himself, or he'd run it into
ditch. Now, you see, sir, I'm railroad
man and don't care 10 run on road that
has no time, makes no connections, runs
nowhere and has no superintendent. 1t
may be all right, but I've railroaded too
long TO understand it.
"Maybe you went to the Congregational
church ?"
popular road" said the brakeman (;
"an old road too-one OF the very Oldest
in the country. Good road bed and COM
Portable cars. Well managed road, too !;
directors don't interfere with division
superintendent and train orders. Roads
mighty popular, but it's pretty independ-
emf, loo. Yes, didn't one OF the division
superintendents down east discontinue
one Of the oldest stations on this line two
or three years ago? But it's mighty
pleasant road 10 travel on-alwayS has
such pleasant class of passengers.
"Did you try the Methodist ?" ! asked
Now you're shoutingl" he said, with
some enthusiasm. Mice road, eh g?
Fast time and plenty OF passengers. En-
gines carry power OF steam and don't
you forget it; steam guage shows a
hundred, and enough all the time. Live
ly road; when the conductor shouts "All
aboard !" you can hear him at the next
station. Every train light shines like a
headlight. Stop-over checks are given
on all through trains; passengers can
drop off the train as often as he likes, do
the station two or three days, hop on the
next train that comes laundering along.
Good, whole-souled companionable con-
ductors; amt road in the country where
the passengers feel more al home. No
passes; every passenger pays full traffic
rates for his ticket. Wesleyanhouse
airbrakes on all trains, too; pretty safe
road, but didn't ride over il yesterday" /"