The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-11-14

of the profession referred to. It finds that the government pays $1,447, ,3O5 a year in salaries to it's 716 chemists. pr. F. E. Breithut, professor of chem istry in the College of the City of New York, who submitted the report, states that the basis of compensation of successful chemist is 5000 year or upwards, as fixed by committee of the American Society of Civil Engineers.
 Applying this standard to Uncle Sam's service, Dr. Breithut pointed out that 90 per cent are below stand ard and only 10 per cent are stand ard or above it. Of the 34 chemists employed by the state of New York, 20 per cent receive salaries above S9000, while 80 per cent are paid be- low standard. The federal govern ment will have none but high-class men, and they should be paid accord ingly.
 Owing to the large demands for national defense the Sixty-fourth Con- gress has made a new high record in appropriations, and only the most urgent matters adding to the cost of government will receive attention in the short session, but some day the technically -entomologists, botanists and so on, as we'll as chem ists-must come in for better pay. Another chap with no brains to spare paid an election bet by dressing up in women's clothes and parading the streets There's no use crowding the insane asy- lums with people like that. They couldn't be cured, anyhow
 A Chicago man who lost a freak cleo ton bet famed a statue of Venus for an hour and whispered soft nothings into her marble ear. Still. that's more es- thetic than rolling a peanut.
 The campaign managers will take q rest, but how about the telegraph opera tors and the messenger boys and the poor newspaper men, who worked 22 hours day all last week?
 Having won handily in California, Hiram Johnson naturally doesn't regret the democratic victory there so much as some of the republican and progressive brethren elsewhere.
 A St. Louis hobo, after 15 years of wan dering, says it doesn't pay. The only sort of tramping that pays is professional pedestriansm, with a purse at the end of the journey
 The first Pullman cars were not very comfortable, but people who could afford to ride in them looked down on the pas sengers in a day coach, just as they do now.
 Country editors throughout the south were not caught mapping Most of them had democratic roosters on the front pages of their newspapers last week. Broadway is just now going into ecsta- sies over chorus beauty just F years old. Any tired business man in Gotham can tell you her name.
 Nearly everything else has gone up. but talk seems to be about as cheap as ever-except over the long distance tele- phone.
 The lady on the new dime is said to be "a beauty. However. that doesn't in- crease the purchasing value of the new dime.
 When a man doesn't understand what is going on around him he looks wise and calls it "hysteria."
 * * *
 People who bet large sums of money or the election are still keeping an eye on the shareholders.
 M *
 Baltimore will continue to be one of the ''wettest' spots on the map for a while longer.
 ;; $: *
 The master spy" will discover that the department of justice is not impressed by titles.
 a; ]: *
 Regardless of Chairman Wilcox, it looks like four more years of Wilson.
 * !;
 The barber vote is not believed to have turned the tide again MT. Hughes.
 LUKE M'LUKE SAYS
 ..;.~ l&