New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1916-08-27

many idle players, the women talking
clothes and lying about their summer
rcsortngs, the men pompously an
nouncing their plans for the coming
season and telling each other how bad
the acting was. There were some who
came to see the celebrities in the audi
effce.- There were the never failing
first nighters who go to every opening
but whose interests in the theatre are
ante bellum; and there were the Wash
ington Square intellcctuals, whose in
terests are cerebcllum.
II Is not dif'lcult to single out these
last mentioned persons, because they
are vegetarians, drink Scotch and per-
fume their talk with Ibsen-sen. They
20 to the theatre so they can tell you
how bad the play is. And, finally, there
are the reviewers-poor, implied ana
scorned drudges, wko go to the theatre
so they can tell you how bad both the
acting and the play are.
o. Henry is great ravorite west of
Broadway, because the Dante Of Bag
dad on the Subway penetrated it to the
depths of its uttermost circle OF tor
ments and caught a glimpse of what
lies behind the endless procession OF
faces-painted and chinless. side by
side-of these tired yet tireless nomads
of the street. He saw in Broadway the
thoroughfare which Detroiter pleas
antly calls The Grand Stareway, the
worlds headquarters for gulls. He saw
that it is truly compounded Of many
simples.
And how proudly these New Workers
boast of their city-when they are out
of it. l quote from a guide to New
York:
"Not one in a hundred, IL asked the
question what the city contains worth
seeing, and how its objects of interest
can be reached, would be able to an
swer the question intelligibly."
The sentence is taken from delight
full volume entitled "The Great Metrop-
oils" 1t was published by Humphrey
Phelps at Broad Street in 1866. But
it's just as sound an observation to-
day. A New Yorker knows nothing
about New York. He will tell you what
a desirable place it is in which to live.
Then look for him on Sunday, the one
day he can enjoy his desirable city.
On Broadway are buyers from Elmira
and Adrian and Bucyrus, who closed up
Saturday night, kissed mamma-no,
they spell it mama-and the kids good
by, and with fast-beating heart bumped
their heads in a Pullman at midnight.
There are convention delegates, wear
ing badges and watching waitfully for
wickedness while they think up conf
cal things to write on postcards. And
that's about all. Why, there's more
traffic in Main Street in Grand Rapids
on Sunday than on Broadway the same
lovely summer day.
Tonight I'm going back to the town
where folks are content to stay home
on Sunday; where he isn't called
Henry, but Mr.. Ford; where the thea
tres shelter no skinned milk de fvette;
where Joe Mller's japes are as passe
as croquet or mitts; where there is no
Bert Levy trying to look like Snake
speare, no Ned Weyburn trying to look
like two Neds Weyburns; where we're
content to be what we are; where we
20 to the theatre to see the acting and
the costumes and the makeup on the
stage, not in the audience-to Detroit,
where live is worth fivving.
New York didn't know | was coming.
didn't know | came, and doesn't know
that I'm going, but don't care. De-
troit knows, and that's enough.
But, say; you don't know of any
New York paper that needs young
fellow to do the theatres, do you?
What say? Now i