The Tomahawk., 1916-05-18
Gle MAN WHO
SPOKE LAIN

Va ~ NE| H. MILL
Mementoes of Average Jones ex-
ploits in his chosen field hang on the
walls of his quiet sanctum. But no.
where does the observer find any rec
ord Of one of the Advisors most curl
GUS cases, running back two thousand
years; for it's owner keeps it in his
desk drawer, whence the present
chronicler exhumed it, by accident, one
day. Average Jones has always insist
ed that he scored failure on this, be-
cause, through no possible fault Of his
own, he was unable to restore docu-
ment Of the highest historical and lit
erary Importance. or that let the i'm
partial reader Judge.
1t was while Average Jones was
awaiting the break Of that deadlock OF
events which, starting from the flat
dweller with the poisoned face, finally
worked out the strange fate Of Teltlk
Bey, that he sat one morning, break
fasting late. Contrary to his impec'
cant habit, Average Jones bore the
somewhat frazzled aspect of man
WHO IdU Uocu up oil illG-i'' VI IASA
Indication of this inhered in the wide
yawn, of which he was in mid-enjoy-
ment, when a hand on his shoulder
cut short his ecstasy.
Sorry to interrupt so valuable an
exercise" said languid voice.
"But-" and the voice stopped.
Hello, Bert" returned the Advisor,
looking up at the faultlessly clad slen-
derness of his occasional cOadjutOr,
Robert Bertram "Sit down and keep
me awake till the human snail who's
hypothetical ministering to my wants
can get me some coffee. You said
but and nothing further. The con-
junction but in polite grammar, or
dinarily has a cometlike tail to it,"
"Apropos Of polite grammar, do you
speak Latin?" asked Bertram care
lessly.
mot enough to be gossipy in it."
Then you wouldn't care to give a
Job to a man who can't speak anything
else?"
80 that's the other end Of the but
is it," said Average Jones. go on
Elaborate"
Bertram laid before his friend a
printed clipping in clear, large type,
saying: when I read this, I couldn't
resist the notion that somehow or
other it was in your line; pursuit Of
the adventure Of life. and all that.
Let's see what you make Of it."
Average Jones Strengthened in his
chair.
"Latin!" he said. "And an ad, by
the look of it. Can our blind friend,
J. Alden Honeywell, have taken to the
public prints?"
Hardly, l think. This is from the
Classical Weekly, Baltimore publica-
tion of small and select patronage"
Him. Looks ra-a-a-ather alluring,"
commented Average Jones with pro-
longed drawl
He bent over the clipping, studying
these words:
L. Livius M. r. Praenestinus, quod-
Tibet in negotium non irhonestum qui
victum meream locare velim. Littera-
tus sum; scriptum facere bene scio.
beI!i, praesertim muniendi, sum peri
tus. Hac de re pro me spondebit
M. Agrippa. Latino tantum scio. ST.
quis me velit convenire, quovis die
name adesto in pubIicis hortis urbis
Baltmorianae ad signum april.
Can you make it out?" asked Ber-
tram
"Hm-m-m. Well-the general sense.
Livius seems to yearn in modern
print for any honest employment, but
especially scrapping of the ancient
variety or secretarying. Anybody who
wants him can find him in the Park of
the Wild Boar in Baltimore. That's
about what make Of it. Now, what's
his little lay, wonder"
MY informant tells me that Mr.
Livius, who seems to have been an all
round sort of person, helped organize
fire ,brigades for Crassus, and was one
of the circle Of minor poets who wrote
rhapsodies to the fair but frail Clio
dia's eyebrows, earlobes and insteps."
"Your informant? The mans actu-
ally been seen, them"
ooh, yes. He's on view as per ad-
vertisement, 1 understand"
Average Jones rose and stretched
his well-knit frame. Baltimore will
be hotter than the Place-as-Isn't," he
said plaintively.
Barye's splendid bronze boar
crouches, semishaded, in the center of
Monument park, Baltimore's social
hilltop. There Average Jones lounged
and strolled through the longest hour
OF a glazing July morning. People
came and went. One individual only
maintained any permanency of situa-
ton. He was a gaunt, powerful,
freckled man CT thirty who sprawled
on settee and regarded Average
Jones with obvious and amused inter-
est. In time this annoyed the Ad-