West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1916-03-09
Old Hickory Chfbs
Mailing a lie won't keep it down.


The best way to get rick quick Is
TO go slow.
Congress can't expect to raise reve-
nue. by taxing our patience.
+
Every time a Turkish soldier falls
about ITO women have to put on
crepe.
Those Russians seem TO fight better
on the road than on the home ground
+
III the night has a thousand eyes.
London certainly appears to need ev-
cry one OF them.
Some of these here young sparks
are so stingy that they never spend
anything but the evening.
+
Our notion OF wise Mexican faith
er is one who brings up his son to
be a surgeon or an undertaken.
+
Let's put a stop to this peace talk.
Charlie Chaplin says he intends to
play Hamlet when the war ends. .
+
Perhaps the pork brigade will fake
more kindly to a bigger navy when
hey learn there's trough in the
sea
IT must be a great relief for once
Tor the girls to be able to pop the
question without having to question
pop
Russia is getting back at the Turks
FOR those atrocities. Grand Duke
Nicholas has ordered his prisoners to
battle.
Senator La Toilette is not standing
back for any leap year demonstra-
tions from the 1916 nomination.
+
When New York city gets a new
postmaster all the politicians of both
parties naturally stop, look and lis
ton.
II is unpleasant to lose "old friends"
but after this years experience the
public should never trust another
ground hog.
A new wreck on the New Haven
road adds another incident to a
lengthy program of investigation.
+
NO matter what forms of govern
ment China seeks to adopt, the result
Is altogether informal
| +
Steps are now being taken to rem
der the ocean unfit for use.
+
1t might encourage a citizenry
trained to look on the practical side
to be told that the Swiss government
insures its citizen soldiers against
eventualities of sickness, accident and
death.
In signing the warrant that pro-
NOTED Brig. Gen. Hugh Scott to be
Maj. Gen. Hugh Scott Secretary, of
War Hugh Scott performed an act
that the entire nation approves.
+
That drop in the price OF mules ia
likely to be temporary. The Stand
ard Oil company is using horses again
to pull its oil wagons because of the
high cost of gasoline.
+
Nobody has ever accused the Swiss
OF militarism, yet that smallest of the
worlds recognized republics has a
much larger army than has the larg-
est of republics.
+
A word to the wise is a waste OF
breath
A non-sinkable dreadnought is no
novelty. Kiel is crowded with EN-.
+
When a woman gets to be 20 years
old. she will he 30 in about four years.
+
Another mildly humorous feature of
the situation is the New York editors
sitting around in dazed horror be-
cause Hon. JoBephus Daniel does not
resign, although they explicitly re-
quested him TO.
Nobody seems TO have thought of
providing our missionaries who are
urging the African savages to get civil
lized and wear clothes with a few
photographs of the latest Palm Beach
model bathing suits
+
Georgia doesn't seem to cotton to
Hoke like she used to-
f.
Probably when their constituents
quit demanding bacon Congressman
will cease to work for pork.
+
Suspicion grows that the beam in
. T RS eye is a one-term plank.
+
The British army is not attacking
yet" London explains. We seem to
have noticed e.
f.
Instead Of looking for an Apollo
some OF those merchant tails would
better be looking for a Croesus.
f
Wilhelm would make a wonderful