Mansfield mirror. (Mansfield, Wright County, Mo.) 1908-1957, 1916-11-02
FINNEcAN's PHILOSOPHY
Single Track Minds.

"What Is her asked Nnnegan. "Sufe
at InjainnypOles he said he ri full
Of Annymated Concerv'tism. Fwhats
that ye say? tbs the turn-table on
the wan thrack mind. 1t kapes spin
MIN round and round an divil q man
can tell fwhat awitch It will pick up.
1t dinnau itself. SO ye dinnau where
to lay for II.
.'T'was SO wild the arrumed freight
ships. They're not warships.' he says,
'0nless l change me mind he says.
which l have he says. an annywan
who says so Is a liar he says. but I
refuse to discuss It, he says. I'll
pass the buck to Congrecs' he
says. 'on'y ! WON'T he says. for tbs
no business Of theirs he says, though
they must vote on the resolution. he
says. to show where they stand he
ssys. 'Hince yen lay 1t on the table,
he says, AN thin they can't VOTE
says WudthrOw to Stone.
"T-I-thOnght ! e q ~fallacy,'--
says Stone. timid like, but the Great
Idaylist brung down his isht wild .
t'ump.
".rabIe the RESOLUTION says he.-an'
away goes Stone.
"'Fwhat does this mesn?' axes the
Sinit.
Gentlemen says Stone, weepin'
bitterly. 'Ye can frisk me. But thim's
the orders says Stone. an If amy
man ivir knew fwhat It meant he's
KEEP quiet about It,
$50 wild the fightin' wurd. We're
too proud to Tight says this turrible
man to q bunch Nv just-overs at Phila-
dephy. .Haw-Haw-Haw.' says the
wurld "a laugh gets his goat, Jawn).
I was thinkfn' Nv sOmethin' I didn't
say yells' Wudthrow. 'Haw-Haw-
Haw.' says the wurld. laughin' to split.
BE this an be that Too Proud to
Fight has made the reppytashun "
Wudthrow. TIs like the Monroe Doc
trine to Monroe, or Emanshipashun to
Lincoln. Twas TRANSLATED into ivry
tongue. tbs better known than the
tw%enty-third psalm. or the famous or
alton II the Guv-nOr " North Carllny.
II an Ashtantee pOked another In the
eye, he's give him the cOo fr Are 70
Too Proud t. Fight?' an they'd both
laugh befure they whit to the lure.
All the recruitin' signs abroad had It
an the shame wud bring three recruits.
where 'Tipperary' or rum wud bring
wan. oh. won't ye place stop laugh
in'!' says Wudthrow. but they laughed
the more. So he sinds Jim Ham Lew
10 to explain. He's called Ham by rea-
son he's So fond Of pork.
"sThree thousand years agOne,' says
Jim Ham, or maybe less says he. an
Ould Dago said Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry Tor the like O. that. lawn. Il
means not to have q chip on yer
shoulder. Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry says Jim Ham, an Julius Say
xer.' says he. AN Tolmy Philadelphy.'
says ne, an the Earl " Cheatem,,
rays Jim, am William Hatch Seward.
says Ham, AN q lot more l forget
says Ham, who felt the same ways
says Jim. although he says. they
nivir said so.' ssys Jim Ham I the
Sinit. so
Now says ne. how. ! axe ye. ecud
the Prisidlnt know that the c~ultyvated
Christian a~utience.' he says, Nv immy-
grants says he. 'wud fail to grasp the
noOance.' says Jim Ham An lawn.
they shut the dures the way the PEG
Pile wuddeit see the Sinit lose its
dignity
"Fwhat's a ~nooance?" asked Mall
umphy.
.'T'is a sort " intellectual gold
brick" replied Finnegan. slightly pug
xled. 'be which We say fwhat ye doant
name. an name wye dOant say. The
nooance comes out " 1t somehow.
Tis like l dinnau what. Just exactly
like it," he added after q short pause.
~ cudden't tell thin apart"
"Well." said Aialumphy, 1.-THE single
thrack mind gets nowhere, I'm think
In"
''rh' gauge Is none too broad" ~
piled his friend. IAN the thrafnc's
heavy" he added. ~
'Non Dinicare est 'vincere.