davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
PERFECT LADY oRArORY

From the st. Louis Republic.
the presidency. Charles e. Hughes was
distinguished for frankness and candor.
Since that momentous event he has
been busily piling up a reputation for
precisely the opposite qualities His
recent performances in evading and
lodging definite inquiries as to the
course he would pursue in dealing with
specific questions now before the adj
ministration have left bad taste in
the mouth of myriads of his former
admirers. AS a specimen of the kind of
oratory vulgarly and unkindly known
as "guff" his Boston speech will not
soon be surpassed:
you ask what road I propose to
travel" Mr.. Hughes said. "These are
the principles that mark tan execu-
tive responsible to the whole nation, a
cabinet chosen from our ablest men,
a foreign policy that stands courte-
ously but firmly and consistently for
American rights, a flag that protects
the American citizen in his lawful
rights wherever his legitimate BUSH
ness may take him, preparation for
trade cooperation which shall protect
all groups of American workmen, a
government supervision of business,
which while preventing abuses Will
act as on the assumption that the
average business man is honest, and,
finally. domestic policy which looks
to industrial peace and cooperation,
not to industrial war"
Children, Look at the Perfect Lady
on the Back of the Cigar-Box. Her
Cheeks are as Red as the Paint on
Jimmy's Wagon. Her Hair is as Black
as the Coal-bin. Her Slender Yellow
Hand Holds a Green Rose to Her
Magenta Nose. Did you Ever See Any
thing So Bee-you-ti-ful in Real Life?
And, Dear Children, Do You Ever
ex-spect To?
The ablest Cabinet, a foreign policy
firm and consistent, domestic policy
LOT peace and co-operation-all the viz
tues of government. none of it's weak
|nesses. Was there ever more typical
specimen of Perfect Lady oratory?
1t is like a circus-poster in its undis-
terminating superlatives, and sadly UNI
like the posters specific enumeration
of funny clowns and Understanding
Ihippopotami.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
LUKE yI'LUKE SAYS

Our idea of a cautious man is the lad
who always puts mucilage on the back of
a postage stamp because he is afraid that
the stuff the government puts on the
stamps won't stick.
Fate plays some queer pranlSs. The girl
who can't cook water without burning it
usually draw domestic husband who
comes home to every meal. And the girl
who is good cook usually draws a hus-
home to his meals.
1t isn't love that makes a girl a big
enough fool to marry man. 1t is SYM
pathy.
1t doesn't hurt to tell the truth once in
awhile. If man thought as much of a
dime as his wife does we would all own
our own homes.
We can't all be diplomats. But we
know one man who gets along nicely with
his wife even if he does stay out every
now and then. The way he works it
when he gets home late is to march up
to his wife, salute her with wave of his
hat, and then say: Good morning, boss!'
What has become of the old-fashioned
man who used to throw his bootjack out
of the back window when a cat serenaded
him?
After a man has been married for
dWnll6 he DeSiHS 10 WOUOeT what SOIL %
a grudge a woman has against herself.
D Be careful how you issue invitations to
girls to go out to dinner with you. a
scientist has figured that because of the
fact that women are wearing so little in
cool weather they have to eat 10 per cent
more food than formerly In order to
maintain their normal temperature.
Men are so stubborn that they would
rather spend half hour forcing their
way through a crowd than save 20 min
utes by going around the crowd.
Cheer up. Things could be worse. Just
suppose the steam calliope was as cheap
and as popular as the monograph and
the player-piano.
Matrimony is the only game in which
hearts do not rank higher than da-
n:onds.
Another reason why we have SO many
divorces is because girl would rather
marry the wrong man than run the risk
OF not geeting married at all.
We are always demanding Justice. But
ii most of us got 1t we would be making
little ones out Of big ones.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
A VERSATILE SAvANT
m the London Express.

From the London Express
Since Sir David Brewster in September
1881, with the help of a few colleagues
gathered together at the archepiscopal
palace at York. founded the British AS
ISOLATION for the Advancement of Science.
many great savants have addressed the
annual meeting. None among them,
however, can have eclipsed the founder
in the high qualities that makes the born
scientist. He found time, In the middle
Of researches into the mystery of light,
to invent the Kaleidoscope and play the
part of pioneer in photography, as well
as to write innumerable magazine ar
ticles with a regularity that would have
made him the favorite Of the most ex-
acting editor.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
Farm Loan Banks TO
BE of Vast Benefit

nm HE rural credits act, at the time
y it passed Congress, was accept
ed by men acquainted with agricul-
tural and banking conditions as one
of the most beneficial measures adj
vocated and insisted on by President
Wilson, but the public in general did
not fully appreciate it. They sup
posed, as a matter of course, that it
would do something for the farmer
who needed operating capital. He
would be able to borrow money on
long time paper and at low rate of in
terest.
But now that the details of the act
are becoming better understood it is
the opinion of bankers and economists
that it ranks close up to the federal
reserve system. 1t will do for the
tillers of the soil what the reserve
banks have done for the business in
terests in general.
The rural credits law will help farm
ers in every section of the country.
To the south it will be a distinct boon.
And especially will it be directly bene-
ficial to Alabama. With this states
rich grazing lands and it's adaptability
to the raising of live stock, cattle hus-
bandry will increase steadily. This
branch of farm activity requires
money and a good deal of it, if it is
to be developed on large scale.
The farm loan bank is just the
thing to get the cattle breeders ahead
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
Creditable Publication

"The fifth issue of Sixty-one One, the
official organ of the First National
bank, is a meaty little pamphlet" said
William Blanks Everett, acting gen.
eral manager of the Chamber of Com
merce "A particularly interesting fea-
ture of the magazine Is an article on
the situation in Alabama by Erskine
Ramsay, vice president of the Pratt
Consolidated Coal company. In addition
to this article. which contains many
statistics of interest not only to the
banker but the business man, the mag
azine carries number of other lit
tie stories of personal interest. One
of the most praiseworthy is copied
from the Montgomery Advertiser about
Chairman Oscar Wells Of the local fed
eral farm loan bank committee"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
MARGATE, AN ENGLISH RESORT

NH II ASHINGTON, d. c., November
MW Especial. )-Margate. one Of
the many watering places or
the southeast coast Of England which
resemble, in miniature, our own Atlantic
City. has been raided by bomb drop
ping enemy aeroplane. The town is de-
scribed in the following war geography
bulletin issued by the National Geo
graphic society:
while not among the most fashion
able seaside resorts in England, Margatt
and its twin city. Ramsgate. four miles
distant, are crowded every summer sea-
son, when the population Of each, 2S,0ot
and 1900, respectively, takes decided
trend upward.
''Margate has the advantage Of an ex'
cellent beach. and this natural promenade
has been supplemented by q jetty. a
quarter of q mile long, and by a 900-foot
pier.
ION bank holidays before the war the
London trains bound for Margate and
neighboring resorts invariably were taxec
to their utmost capacity by the pleasure
seekers of moderate circumstances. The
town, which is situated on the north coast
of the island Of Thanet, is "a miles eas'
of London, 20 miles northeast OF Canter'
bury and 20 miles directly north of Dover
In times Of peace steamers piled daily
between Margate and London as wei
as to Dover. and at the height OF the
season there was a daily service to Ca
lais, Boulogne and Ostend, the last named
resort being only 65 miles away in 8
northeasterly direction.
Between Margate and Ramsgate Is
the quiet and attractive little watering
place known as Broadstairs, the name
being derived from the broad stair OF
gap In the cliff which leads down to the
sea. This charming spot was favoritt
retreat for two of England's greatest
noyelists-George Eliot and Charles Dick
ems. The cottage which Dickens occu'
pied is now called bleak house. but II
has no associations with the story Of
that name. However, parts Of 'PickwicA
Papers were written here.
Beyond Ramsgate ana about sever
miles from Margate is spot marked by
a memorial cross, which is hallowed
ground in the religious annals of Eng.
land. Here st. Augustine, at the heac
of mission directed by Pope Gregory
I, landed In SGT and was cordially re,
ceived by Aethelbert, King of Kent wht
subsequently made the missionary monk
the first archbishop of Canterbury. The
place is known as Ebbs fleet and is neal
the center of Pegwell bay, famous 70,
its picnics and its shrimps
Tradition says that this was also tht
landing place. $50 years earlier. OF those
history making brother chieftains. Hen
gist and Horsa, leaders Of the first Saxor
adventurers to set foot in England. They
came upon the invitation of King Worth
germ, who at that time was sorely in need
of help in his desperate struggle with tn,
Piets. Those pioneers from Saxon LAND
soon quarreled with the people whom
they had come to assist, and established
themselves firmly ON the island OF Tha
net and contiguous territory. Eventually
Horsa was killed in battle with vortigerr
and thereafter Hengist reigned alone il
what became known as the kingdom o.
Kent.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
DELlRIoUs REAL ESTATE AGENT
From the Chicago Tribune.
"a Mr.. Klutz rises to sing, Will


"a Mr.. Klutz rises to sing, with
ukulele accompaniment.)
North Carolina is the garden spot OF
the world; the land of Tar, Pitch and
Turpentine. She lies between two es-
tates, the Mother of Presidents. and the
hot bed of Secession; and from her geo.
graphical position combined with her
varying attitudes, possesses a greater
variety of soil, surface and vegetation
than any equal extent of contiguous
territory in the world. Basking in the
sunshine of the temperate zone. her
head pillowed in the Land of the Sky,
her feet resting on the ocean, her
snowy bosom rising to the clouds, she
rests serene in the majesty of her
might She guards vast treasuhers of
gold and silver, emeralds and opals
adorn her brow, while the hem Of her
royal robe, dipped in the Atlantic. is
embroidered with pearls and the riches
of the ocean.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
Motorists Should
Lock Their Cars

ID BIRMINGHAM is not the only city
~ in the country where automo-
biles are stolen in large numbers. In
fact, it is no reflection on the police
department of any city that each day
brings its toll of missing cars. When
"a thief steps into machine and
jauntily rides away, even though a
policeman may be watching him at the
time, unless he knows the owner of
the car, which is highly improbable,
the officer is unaware that the man
at the wheel doesn't belong there.
There are ordinances in some cities
requiring all automobile owners to
lock their cars when not in use. A
particularly bold thief will sometimes
break lock or open it with a false
key, but in majority of cases the
protection afforded is ample. The
Washington Star, in commenting on
this matter, recommends heavy chains
and locks that will defy any thief.
A great many automobiles are SIM
ply taken away by irresponsible per-
sons who want to go "joy riding" This
is vexatious enough to the average
owner of car, besides the danger to
pedestrians from the reckless driving
of such persons, but automobile steal
ing on an immense scale is now being
carried on throughout the country by
gangs who dispose of them through
crooked garages. Not long since Bir-
mingham figured in automobile thefts
which were nationwide in scope.
Crooked garages are clearing houses
for stolen cars. They are to be found
in all large cities. 1t is related that in
New York private detective agency
rented a garage and let it be known
that cars would be bought "and no
questions asked" According to the
Star, within week they had taken
in enough stolen cars and made
enough arrests to check the anto steal
ing industry in that city materially.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
TO Some EXTENT
"1rhe Plays the Timing"

6NHE idea prevails in this country
u that a popular dramatic star
with large following will draw full
houses, regardless of the vehicle with
which she or he is provided. In a
measure this IS true and accounts for
the fact that managers have often re-
lied on the popularity of star to
make amends for an Indifferent play.
Birmingham theatregoers are evident
ly an exception to the rule.
Last season Miss Maude Adams,
who is certainly the most universally
beloved actress in America, appeared
at the Jefferson theatre in "The
Legend of Leonora." While this is one
of the most delightful plays magma
Bile and exemplifies Sir J. M. Barrie's
humor in it's most whimsical form,
therefore is ideally suited to Miss
Adams, it did not appeal to many of
her admirers. Considerably to her sur
prise, her performances here were not
as we'll attended as they usually are.
Thursday afternoon and night when
Miss Adams appeared in 'The Little
Minister" hundreds of people were
turned away from the theatre. There
were hundreds of mail orders that
could not be filled. AS it was, large
number of visitors came from neigh
boring towns to see Miss Adams in
this play, which ranks close to peter
Pan" as her most popular vehicle.
1t would seem, therefore, that there
lis class of theatregoers who are not
content merely to worship star, but
demand play to suit their tastes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
HOTEL. LOBBEEs
Craig I'm City


W. B. Craig of Dallas county. whC
formerly representated the Fourth dis.
trict in Congress, from which service
he retired voluntarily, was in Birming-
ham yesterday. Mr.. Craig is now O
practicing attorney. and a citizen who
numbers his friends by the score.
las is generally known" he said
.T am an applicant for the federal
judgeship from which Judge Toulmin
will retire December l. I have just
mailed to the President my application
and my Endorsements"
Other applicants are Judge B. M Mil
Ter of Camden, W. B. Inge, Harry Pill
lans and j. T. Irving of Mobile, Judge
John c. Anderson of Montgomery and
Chambliss Keith of Selma.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04

elections; four years ago the COM
bined vote of Taft and Roosevelt was
about thirty-two thousands against
a republican vote which usually
ranged above fifty thousand before
the present constitution went into eff
feet.
The school tax amendment submit
ted for ratification has been so thor
oughly canvassed that it is safe to
assume it will bring out more than a
normal vote. In fact there is every in
dication that the total will reach the
highest record since 1901.
= = -
Difference I'm Some
PoliGical OvaGi0ms
1DRESIDENT WILSON has done
u comparatively little campaign
ing, but wherever he has gone i'm
mense crowds have greeted him. No
candidate has ever aroused so much
enthusiasm, and the significance Of
it is that all the demonstrations in
his honor have been spontaneous.
Mr.. Hughes was very low spirited
terribly depressed-until he reached
Ohio in his second tour this week. He
had a great ovation in Columbus, and
was heartened by it, for it was about
the first real demonstration in his
behalf. He had been feeling that Ohio
was lost to the republicans. He
showed it in his manner and his
friends were free to admit that Will
sons chances in the buckeye State
were better than Hughes.
But if the republican outlook in
Ohio appears bright to Hughes j. is
only in comparison with the way the
situation seem I'd three weeks ago.
Mr.. Hughes can no more stir up
enthusiasm than his raining mate,
the icy Charles Warren Fairbanks.
The Columbus torchlight parade was a
drawing card and money from head
quarters had been used to make up a
splendid affair
The contest between President Will
sons magnetic personality and
Hughes lack of anything like magnet
ism is striking. The people believe in
Wilson. The public hesitates when it
comes to Mr.. Hughes.
That worked up" demonstration in
Ohio will have been forgot before
day, while the ovations to
Wilson will be still fresh in the minds
Of the voters.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04
Importance of Big
Note In Anabam@

NNX HILE the democratic primary
Wv in this state is of chief inter
est so far as the matter of filling Of
fices is considered, nevertheless in
every general election the democrats
should poll their full strength. Not
understanding the fact that the nomi-
hees of the party are sure to be
elected, whether most of those who
voted in the primary vote again in
November or not, there should be the
same amount of zeal in supporting the
democratic ticket as was manifested in
the contest between rival aspirants
within the party.
Why? In the first place, when every
elector exercises his voting privilege
It indicates spirit of patriotism and
! desire to keep the body polite in a
healthy condition. In the next place, it
shows in the encyclopedia almanacs
ana OLueT Ic1 cIcIlCc UOOhS WIlCIC
Alabama stands" Primary election
figures are not published in statistical
books; only those Of the general cleo
ton, and it should be matter of
pride to appear well before the world.
Lastly, the republicans usually poll
their full strength, and although they
can never expect to elect presidential
electors or a member of Congress, it is
well worth while for democrats to be
always on guard, SO as not to allow
their opponents to creep up on them
and give the democracy a scare.
Prior to the adoption of the state
constitution in 1901 the electorate was
much larger than it is now. The or
ganic law of today imposes cumula-
tive poll tax and by an educational
test vast percentage of the former
negro vote has been disfranchised. The
Republican total is usually around
twonty-five thousand in presidential
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04

rapidly. Within four or five years
Alabama will be known as one Of the
foremost beef cattle states in the
union.
There must be deep satisfaction for the
Germans in raising bumper crops on
other peoples land, somewhat akin to
the pleasure derived from spending other
peoples money.
On the other hand the New York man
who claims to be Captain Koenig's long
lost brother may be simply trying to
step for moment into the glare of the
spotlight.
The high cost of living is going to in
terfere seriously with the Thanksgiving
dinner this year. Some old ROSTERS will
go into the pot who might have escaped.
!; i i;
Give the sanitarians credit. The old
fashioned soda water clerk who used to
swab out dirty glass with a dirty
towel has about outlved his usefulness.
It requires intense concentration on the
part of a newspaper reader to keep his
mind from wandering after he has read
about half column of war news.
Maybe those Mexican bandits who held
ctn1o he cIo of
women passengers have expectant lady
loves somewhere in retirement
= i II
Mr.. Hughes says he is confident of
being elected. Mr.. Wilson says he is
not worrying. That's the way to feel
on the eve of an election.
Captain Koenig may have his troubles,
but no transatlantic tramp will try to
beat his way to Europe as a stowaway
in the Deutschland.
There's movement on foot in Alabama
to put the timid and retiring sweet po-
tato on an equal footing with the asser-
tive Irish potato.
A New York dramatic critic bewails the
stupidity of motion picture producers.
Yet the public seems to be getting what
it wants.
The stump speakers will deserve a
long rest after this week and the aver
age citizen will be glad to see them
get it.
If Madame Bernhard wants to meet
Charley Chaplin the matter can probably
be arranged by their respective press
agents.
With bread selling for Is cents loaf
in some communities, the wife who is a
boss biscuit maker is jewel beyond
price.
A proud and happy parent is apt to
discount broken collarbone if his son
scores the winning touchdown.
Birmingham wants the governments ar
NOR plate plant located in Alabama, re-
CARELESS of what city gets the prize
-
A woman thief recently captured says
she never robbed friend. Perhaps all
her friends are poor.
y
Things have indeed come to Pretty
pass, if Paris considers American styles
inmodest.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-11-04

las early as 1900 there was q pier at
| Margate, but even UP to the time of
Elizabeth the place was only a small fish
| ing village and possession of Dover.
| 1t was not until the middle of the nine
| teenth century that it was incorporated
as an independent town.
TN the waters off the coast between
Margate and Ramsgate the English fleet,
in spite of it's crippled condition. owing
| to the diversion of funds. voted for its
| maintenance. but spent by the luxury
| loving Charles in court extravagances
! defeated the Dutch fleet in 1866.
FROM "UNDER THE WILLOWS"
BY James Russell Lowell.
| This willow Is as old to me as life,
And under it full often have I stretched,
| Feeling the warm earth like thina
| alive.
And gathering virtue In at every pore
Till it possessed me wholly. and thought
ceased
Or was transfused in something to which
| thought
Is coarse and dull Of sense
| My soul went forth, and. mingling with
i the tree,
Danced in the leaves: or, floating in the
| cloud.
saw It's White ooupie IN the Stream be-
was the wind that dappled the lush
| grass,
The tide that crept with GOODNESS to Its
| roots,
The thin-winged swallow skating on the
| air;
The life that gladdened everything was
| mine.
Here, sometimes. in this paradise Of
Rippled with western winds. the dusty
| tramp
Hats to unroll his bundle Of strange food
And MUNICH an unearned meal. cannot
| help
Liking this creature lavish summers
bedesman.
Who from the almshouse steals when
| nights grow warm.
Himself his large estate and only charge.
To be the guest of haystack and Of
| hedge,
Nobly superior to the household gear.
That forfeits us our privilege Of nature,
bait him with my match box and my
| pouch,
Nor grudge the uncostly sympathy of
| smoke,
His equal now. divinely unemployed.
Some smack of Robin Hood is in the man,
Some secret league with wild wood-wan-
dertng things:
He is our ragged Duke, our barefoot
| Earl.
BY right of birth exonerate from toll
Who levies rent from us. his tenants all,
And serves the state by merely being
| Here
The scissors grinder. pausing, dofrs his
| hat.
And let's the kind breeze, with its delicate
fan,
winnow the heat from out his dark gray
| hair
A grimy Ulysses. much wandered man,
Whose feet are known to all the populous
| ways,
And many men and maners he hath seen.
Not without fruit of solitary thought.
He as the habit is of lonely men
Unused to try the temper of their mind
In fence with others-positive and shy.
Yet knows to put an edge upon his
speech.
Pithily Saxon in unwilling talk.
Him I .entrap with my long suffering
knife,
And while his poor blade huns way in
| sparks.
Sharpen my wits upon his gritty mind,
In motion set obsequious to his wheel.
And in quality not much unlike.