The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1916-06-16


That's one reason why real FOLKS
Ike him 80 much
The mosahaeks. the dodos. the
highbrowh and all right thinking
persons look upon him with horror.
Henry Cabot Lodge shuddern III
Ms name and old Papa Gallinrer
looks through his eyebrows at him
Ike a man about 10 blow up.
some sheer and aome swear, but
be eoesn't mind.
Ito dances on tho moldy remaIna
OF senatorial dignity. laughs At tne
ridiculous. slumberlng old senator.
1al courtesy. thinks the dull. dreary
show the senate gives every after.
noon Is bum stuff (which Il ino.
and every chance hs gets lolts the
actors into something almost re.
sembllng human ilfc.
i the press eailery were making
nominations he would get anything
be wanted. and b. reclamation.
Tie r. pretty hot staff for a man
that weighs about 90 pounds.
Every now and then tho senate
casts tic yots. between the p~tri.
fed dodos and the living beings
aud he Invariably comes In with a
vote on the aide OF red blood
eorpuscles in q way beautiful to
behold.
The opponents OF tho river and
haFbor bin had things fixed to yet
tic vote on that hoary old steal
and hs was all ready to vote TO
XIII Il. but two gcnta got cold feet
and fled. and so the dodoa scored
one
In a quiet. unotfruNlva wav he r.
often around trying TO push over
something that Wiil make them
squeai ard that's one reason why
he 10 80 popular with the discern.
ing 10 this convention.
When Roger Sullivan and the
rough neck guards from Chicago
came tumbllug in on tho Marshall
men there was 40 much cold dis.
gust around the Jefferson hotel YOU
could cut chunks out Of II like a
free lunch cheese
However. at one spot tho Suili.
van boom met sith a warm recen.I
ton like an orphan child being
pulled out OF the wet.
That was when II bumped IN
against Gov. Major OF Missouri. the
sole proprietor OF the only ray OF
humor that has iIlumlned these des.
located scenes.
Gov Major. dry. thin and pain.
fully restless little man. was con.
Quoting a boom OF his own for tho
vice presidency and viewing It
with solemn earnesiness that
caused 200 newspaper men to rise
up and call him blessed.
lie gave them something TO write
about.
When weary OF the spectacle of
900 automaton delegates gathered
to dance when the string was
pulled. tho Journalists could always
describe Major going about with
his pictures and his literature.
booming himself
The reason the Major boom fell
with JOY upon tho bosom of the |
Sullivan boom was because the Ma |
jor boom was so ALFRED lonely the |
sight OF another wanderer was like |
the sight OF home TO dog with
can-tied tall
The very salt cellars on the din.
lnK fal.lan
to be renominated with a rush. but |
there was a chance to delude some
body into a belief that there would |
be contest about the second place. |
II wasn't much OF chance. but |
persons tired OF monographs and |
Washington made progra
clutched at It with desperate hands.
Speculation about the orioin
OF the Sullivan boom and the
origin OF the Major boom
hclpes out the fruitlcss speeu.
lation as to how the Presldents
platform managed to sidestep
the danger spots like the Phil
ippines, Panama tolls, slnaIe
terms, a genuine income tax,
sugar and the high cost OF liv.
Ing.
Attempts 20 start a row over
these died early. Every man
knew In his heart that unless
the president had lost his copy
Of Harris Rhetoric (which ca
lamitY God forbldl) the aide
stepping would be done and
everybody would say IL was