The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-02-25
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: A Mu11igan Stew
SonoROaoHeu0n on enenRoaeno

If / had basketball team that
could play like our Hi school girls
I, team did the other evening when they
submerged the Milton girls with
score of 45-nine. I'd never let 'em quit
playing a-Iall. AS fast as they wore
out ball, I'd bny them another and
I'd hire an assistant janitor for Fred
Pinkerton to keep the Gym warm,
while Fred could get little sleep
once 10 awhile. And d buy up all
the seats In the Gym and let every
body come 10 aod enjoy the game with
me, and I'd have Yellleader Post on
duty between halves, and I'd have
tarrel of Isoream on tap for the
players and spectators. and everyone
could have all he wanted, except
Brooksis. And I'd draw the line on
Brooksie. Because a good basketball
referee never eats more than five dish
es of ice cream at one sitting in Geld
weather. And whenever the Pendle-
ton girls came up here to play, no one
would get more than one dish of cream
and that big blonde Swede girl who
plays center for Pen. Hi could have
only the ice left in the freezar.
I have noticed steady raise in the
price of salt. Mebby you have too.
It's inost serious problem, but Bob
Oliver. travelling noise. maker, tipped
me the reason for it the other day.
He sez that the Athena salt Market
has been oornered by Allyn Breakit-
otfinyou Steele. For this reason: to-
Wit: Steele has houn' Dawg that
has formed the Habit Of runnin' away
from home. and every time the Purp
runsa wny Allyn oorrals him BY put
ting salt on his tail. ! wouldn t
have mentioned it, Eut see Allyn has
bought Kernel Boyd of BY running an
Add in out est. oontem., the Press;
and believe in giving the People a
square deal and putting the news
where ii beloDgs--in the Mulligan
Stew, don't Chew.
Base hall enthusiasts out at Pilot
Rock are trying to pilot Weston, Ath-
ena and pend)eton into league with
themselves on one corner Of the cir-
cult. Not bad IdeaR, ty any means.
But What'll we do 'thout "Rusty =
Hymn with the mistio left FlipperP
| MoCreedie has sailed the OIL Sorreltop
down with the Spokane team for the
spring tryout, an it's dollars to huok-
leberry Dumplin's that he'll stick.
Watarewetodoauyway?
"Say, Mr.. Mulligan, old top, DOM
you think it'd be lind and dandie fel
US to hev an OIL time Spealing Tea sun
mite, wheaIe all the oityzens oud CONT
an spell eech other down au Repeet
We ulster do II bao wheare l WI:
rased." l received the above not
through the mail the other day. ant
have decided to let it simmer with th
rest Of the junk 10 this weeks Stew.
| have good news for a oertaiI
Young friend of mine, and Yoube
he'll bo glad 10 hear it. He'll fall al
over Hisself with Joy when be read
herein that the new BananaI cro
down in the tropical zone is the larR
est In the worlds history. Geewhizz-z 2
With bananas at 25 for Nickle, tn
Deacon will consume more of then
this summer than Vic Harris will o
lettuce. And Vic will have some tn
start of him. Too.
On
"Jho news that Billy Burke get
$4,000 a week reminds US to remint
her that This is leap year and we ar
still bachelor. "--KeInel Wood il
his Weston Fire-kindler.
Ha.zuml And Whist th'-well
what would she do with you, wheI
she found herself hooked up with suol
Il pesky old Crouch? Come to think o
it though, you might Ut lin to som
degree, carrying the card sray, dustinl
off the door mat and keeping Fido'
bottle filled with milk, Yep. Sh
might tlnd place for you.
ON
dunno what the members OF tn
county court will do with themselve
il that $3.50, 100000 road bond issu
carries, aud they are compelled by th
voice of the voters to handle all tha
Vast sum of luore, AS 1t Ia now, Mac
Cook burn is working overtime; an
some say he is a worker, too. And
guess he is, for last summer he had t
cancel fishing date with me, becaus
he had to 90 down In the Junipe
county som 'ers and clean out roa'
culvert that had been iammpd up will
a fIeshet Of iaokrabbits. Well,
never saw Mack from that time unit
the other day, when he bowled int
town with u bunch of Pendletoniaus
Blamed II he didn't still wear bis fish
ing smile and took me into Ware
aud Bought Gatos tor Two, ALL
right, Mack.
Away over from Umapine comes th
old time warwhoop for county div
sion. And it's some Whoop, teliey
me, The fellers that are doing th
Whoopiug have planted newspape
over there. There are two of 'em an
they appear to have their pockets tn
OF intlooence. They do. Why, the
had the name OF Vincent changed I
Umapine--aud they've got a p, o
Two.
The seiiss Of evangelistio meeting
in progress at the Christian chura
are creating much interest. and lara
congregations attend each evenini
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