Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-09-29

They've got into the way. at home,
of thinking I'm sort of lightweight.
When a fellows folks get an idea like
that, there's nothing to 1t. When
came back from college and began
to get my illusions exploded, seeing
women as they really are and not
what I'd hoped they were-scheming,
you know, and false, and all that
all my family made of my disappoint-
ment and grief was to demand TO
know what I was peeved about They
never really tried to understand me.
They took my most sacred emotions
and made conversation of them. l
was the family goat, all right, staked
out in the yard with a short rope,
and asked to believe 1 was having my
fling. Jerked around by the collar,
too, to teas and dinners, and gambol-
ing playfully on the green to amuse
Sis debutante friends.
Well, things are changed now.
Maybe I'm changed 1 don't know.
I'VE been through a lot. That's what
I'm going to tell about.b Not that they
want me to tell it. They've got some
sort of silly provincial idea about
keeping out of the public prints When
my sister came out last Fall they
wouldn't have her photograph pub
lished, and the poor kid cried her eyes
out.
Well. they'll get plenty now. (Not
of course. that the family had any
thing to do with the crimes, or any
thing of that sort. Good heavens, no.)
Do you know what the curve of the
catenary is? No? Well, that's what
the storys about Look it up in the
|
any. I give you my word l wasn't
sure at first whether it was a riddle
or n part of the human anatomy.
I'd heard Of 1t somewhere. but a chap
gets lot of stuff in college that
there's only one thing to do with. and
that's forget 1t. But to get on.
| I'd been at the works for a year be-
fore the thing happened. What with
the war and depression and all that,
we hadn't been making enough steel
to justify keeping the mill open. But
we've held the organization together,
because it was crackerjack in good
times. The office force played bridge
most of the morning, and knocked off
at lunch time for the day.
When / found I was losing more
at bridge than I could afford learn
ed to run one of the yard locomotives.
I'd had an idea that it was a cinch
a track and all that. But, believe me,
the day I got that thing into the shed
without knocking out the rear wall,
l was pale.
Nobody was doing much socially,
either. OF course. everybody lives on
his dividends. And when there are
no dividends, where are YOU? There
were a lot of silly little dinners with
the women drinking and not eating
to keep them slim, and the fellows
eating and not drinking-this water
wagon wave is playing the dickens
with society-and q few balls with
flowers to buy for the debutantes
who had to come out, like ground
hogs, because the time had come.
l was as sore as the deuce the day
the thing happened. For one thing,
I'd won a hundred dollars that morn
ing throwing dice in the storeroom
which is reasonably safe from father
and one of the stenogra aphers grab
bed it for the Red Cross And, Of
course just as I was on my knees ask
ing for half of it back to pay a
quarters club dues, father came in
You know me. Al. I got up, looking
pretty sick.
There was a chap at the works, an
awfully brainy fellow, named Howard
Martin He'd forgotten more things
than I'd ever heard of, and father was
crazy about him
Well, you can judge his mental cali
ber by the fact that when | asked
what "catenary' meant, and suggested
that it might be a cat and canary in
conjunction. which will happen in the
best circles, he gave me the dictionary
definition Of the word, root and
branch, synonyms. connections by
marriage and poor relations in one
minute.
Well. Mar lin was standing by when
the governor came in and found me
on my knees to Miss Hazeltine She
was the girl who had just snitched
the money for the Red Cross. She's
part OF the story, so remember her
name.
Busy as usual. Ollie" the COVER
nor said dryly. IF you have finished
suppose you run out and play with
the yard locomotive. / want to talk
business with Martin"
| got up and busted my knees.
All right" ] said. I'm run out
and play. But some time it may oc-
cur to you that I'm not a child, and
that I'd talk business. too. II 1 had
q chance"
1T might interfere with your dane
ing"
What can you do against that kind
of thing? l went out. Martin was
watching me and the stenographer's
eyes were sorry. You know what 1
mean. She was iawfully pretty. We
like 'em pretty. if they've got brains,
too. 1t keeps the fellows up.
We used to have a woman named
Blair in the office and I give YOU
my word l never dictated spon-
taneous word to- her. like to put
n crimp in business letter now and
then-srun in something lively or or
iginal. Anybody can quote afmor
plate, but not everybody can put
ginger into 1t. IlFemember once quot
ing the Rubaiyat to a coal concern
in Ohio when i was forwarding a
voucher = this part. you know:
Some for the glories of this world:
and somei
Sigh for the prophets (profits!) para
4 disc to come;
All, take the cash and let the credit
go,
Nor heed the rumble of distant
Would you believe that she took
the letter to father?
Well. the girl who had taken my
money for the Red Cross was good
looking. all right And smart She