davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
RECORDS NEW AUTO Joke
Joe Mitchell Chapple Tells of One
Which Is Ascribed to Uncle
Joe Cannon.

Summertime brings with 1t a glow
or peculiar types of humor. There is
always someone who is ready to tell
you the latest story about the Ford
automobile. These stories are pro-
duced about as rapidly as the Ford
automobiles, which recently reached
the astonishing record. OF one machine
every FIVE secoNds. There is danger
IN ttGai.iIng the latest Ford story for fear
of that wearied expression on the face
of the reader or hearer which signals,
Il have heard it," 1t is said that
about thousand new Ford stories
are received by the advertising de-
partment at Detroit every week. One
was soberly related by Uncle Joe
Cannon on his return to Washington
that will apply to any automobile or
Ford.
The man." said Uncle Joe. "ap-
peared at the door in a striking and
histrionic attitude and gravely an
nounced:
My lord, the motor waits with
out The weary owner replied Ian
guidly, Without what?' The reply
came quick and decisive: Without
gasoline The weary owner delved
deep in his pocket and once more
paid the toll of a mileage rate far be.
yond the jurisdiction of the interstate
commerce commission, while without
waited the motor. Affairs at Wash
ington," by Joe Mitchell Chapple, In
National Magazine.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
SANITY IN MUSICAL WORLD
War Has Failed to Produce the Dis
cord That at One Time Seemed
Sure to Come.

Summing up of the musical year
has begun-though the drums, fifes,
trumpets and bands in certain Of our
parks are stimulating the public spir-
its and keeping up the popular en-
ergy. On the whole we have been
generous. Mr.. Percy Scholes' list of
interned musicians contains no alien
composers and performers in English
prisons. But harmony was split.
Brocsky (of Manchester and Russia)
was caught in Germany, Richter re-
nounceG his English honors, Kreisler
went to fight for Austria, and Lamond
was shut up at Ruhleben Harmony
was disturbed. In England the war
threatened for a moment to Danish
the music made in Germany. But
sanity prevailed. Wagner could not be
banished. The Royal Philharmonic re-
fused to abolish the bust of Beetho-
ven from it's place before the orches-
tra-possibly because Beethovens an
cestry was proved to be Flemish.
Bach and Brahms have had their cele-
bration upon English strings and wind.
And rightly!-London Chronicle.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Cheapest Commodities

There are many opinions, but, next to
human life, opinions are the cheapest
commodities of these times. AS it now
stands, human life is the cheapest and
the least regarded thing in the world
not only human life as it exists, but
human life in the future. Both are
held in careless disregard A rifle
has more value than the man who
shoots 1t. A high explosive shell is
worth a hamlet. A battery OF guns
is more treasured than a village.
THE most important man in the
world" said a Russian cabinet min.
lister to me. "is the man who can make
or supply munitions Of war."-Samuel
G. Blythe in the Saturday Evening
Post.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Mesa Verde Prophets.

The season 80 far verifies the wealth.
er predictions Of the Indians who oc-
casionally visit the Mesa Verde ma
uonal park In southwestern Colorado
for trading purposes. but who never
stay an hour longer than is necessary,
because OF their dread Of the little
people" who they believe still In
habit, in spirit form, the prehistoric
cliff dwellings that have made the
Mancos valley famous the world over.
Last fall the Mesa Verde prairie dogs
deserted their villages for new ones.
and the Indians have been shaking
their heads oyer 1t all winter. Rain.
much rain" they say; rain all sum-
mer." SO far they seem to have pre-
dicted right. And now they are again
shaking their heads. "Cold, much
cold" they say; bad winter coming"
And why? Because this summer
game has been unusually plentiful on
the Mesa Verde. Deer are more fire.
quently seen than for years. Rab-
bits and hares are so numerous one
can scarcely go about without seeing
them In large numbers. Coyotes and
mountain lions are also unusually
plentiful, which may be explained by
the abundance Of the small game on
which they live.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
THR0NGs GATHER IN "zoNE"
Part OF the Great Exposition That
Has Strong Attraction for the
Majority Of Visitors.

In the later evening the throngs
naturally drift to the Zone, where the
rollicking sense OF humor of the
American people asserts itself. The
Midway OF Chicago and the Pike at
st. Louis is appropriately christened
the Zone" at San Francisco.
: There are the Fagdl auto trains.
long taunting cars with seats side.
way, propelled by a magic little auto.
The passengers view the building first
on this side and then on that-a sim.
pie idea that has already made a for
tune for the inventor, with a name
where the letters seem "pied." There
are no weary marches to see the ex.
position OF 1915, so compact and so
convenient are the little automobile
trains, to say nothing of the tiny rail
road reaching all parts Of the ground
The tendency of the expositioner of
today is to neglect to enter the build.
ings and see the exhibits which I'm
themselves represent the tremendous
progress since former expositions.
The historic declaration of William
Mckinley at Buffalo that "expositions
are the timekeepers of progress" is
again exemplified.
Inc hrst place 1 visited was the
Panama Canal" with CONGRESSMAN
kahn and wife, where, seated ~ a
moving platform travelling over a
quarter of mile with a telephone at
my ears telling me this point and
that' L saw the canal again as vividly
as II looking down from Balboa
heights. Even after two visits to
Panama, this attraction was most fas.
cinating, as the boats passed through
the locks and across the lake with
every light. shoal and mountain re-
vealed.-"A Trip Overland-The Ex.
position" by Joe Mitchell Chapple, in
National Magazine.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
What Happlness n.

Learn what happiness is. Study a
little about good taste. If everybody
mad good taste everybody would have
MS share OF Joys. You see l do not
say everybody would be happy. That
would be a foolish world and a selfish
one, but say everyone would have
his share OF Joys, and having claimed
his birthright to his share OF joys he
surely would be pig to want them
all! The JOY OF making q poor home
happy is greater than that of being
content in fine one-and sometimes
easier. We who have little Of this
worlds goods stand a glorious chance
OF having much OF the spirit which
stands ever ready to come in and fill
up the waste places If only we viii
open the edoor.-Exchange.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Nature Fake.

The story of the tomato plant graft
ed on to an eggplant and producing
a splendid fruit, with a purple skin,
deep red meat few seeds and wonder
full flavor. survives and goes the
rounds
This particular nature fake persists
because of the lack of horticultural or
botanical knowledge Even Burbank
himself could not produce new fruit
by grating. Such fruits can only be
produced by pollenizing. Every school.
boy who has studied botany or a
primer on farming. which always con-
tains instructions on grating, knows
that the scion or bud. grated on to the
root or stock, governs the kind of fruit
to be produced. Otherwise, every
graft might produce hybrid or freak.
One may graft half dozen kinds OF
orange scions on one sour stock, and
each scion will invariably produce its
own kind of orange. and not cross
between the sour orange and that OF
the tree from which the scion was cut
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Awakening Of Chinese Women.

Miss Ruth Phillimore Of Peking,
speaking at a conference of mission
aries In England some little time
ago, said that people in England had
hardly any idea how much Chinese
women had altered since the revolu-
tion. In Peking it was now a COM
mon sight to see q husband and
wife driving out side by side. show
ing how the position of woman in
the household has changed. Women
were taking very keen interest in
politics, and one girl of eighteen was
considered dangerous enough to be
beheaded. while another was COM
PEELED to escape to Japan. In mis-.
sionary work both old country and
American missions are doing much
for these women. and the Christian
schools established by them are
looked to hopefully in the way Of
results. Their aim is to train up
Christian teachers, as it is considered
that the Chinese women will do
far more valuable work In evangel-
izing their own people than could
be done by women of other coun-
tries.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
She Cured Him.


Mrs. Belle Armstrong Whitney. who
Is to dress manikins In all the latest
creations and have a regular daily
fashion show at the Hudson theater,
In speaking Of economy in dress the
other day said: Il know q man who
was so stingy he grumbled every time
his wife bought a new gown. Deter
mined to cure him OF this habit, his
wife for one month stayed away from
the shopping district and the stores,
and succeeded in not buying a single
cents worth of clothes When the
next months bills arrived the husband
noted there was a memorandum for
about thirty Turkish baths. He In.
qutred If there was real necessity for
such large number OF Turkish baths
In one month. Certainly replied the
wife. You told me rot to spend any
more money on clothes, and a Turkish
bath is about tho only place I can 20
and not wear clothes All of which
proves that when a woman makes up
her mind she wants that $50 suit.
marked down to $29.9S, she is going
to scheme until she owns 1t, contrary
Notwithstanding" New York Tele-
gram.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Waterproofing French Uniforms.

In the rainy season, which lasts well
into the summer in parts OF France
and Belgium. the French army author.
tiles faced the necessity of providing
an inexpensive and effective means OF
waterproofing the uniforms OF their
soldiers. A chemist came to their
rescue with the information that the
fat extracted from wool while in the
process of cleaning it for manufacture
would serve their purpose.
experiments proved that the chem
lst was right. The waterproonng is
done by reducing the wool fat to a
liquid by the use of a solvent and di.
luting it with benzine or naphtha.
The garment is soaked in this solution
for few minutes. 1t dries in a short
time. Neither the color of the article
nor the fabric is impaired by the treat
ment.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
MANY WIRELESS STATIONS
Germany Prepared for Emergencies
That Would Arise in tho Day
Of Conflict.

Part Of German preparedness for
the Day" was the erection Of a world
wide system of high-power wireless
stations. When the war started there
were in operation German wireless
stations in Europe, Africa, America
and the South seas. Many have been
dismantled by the allies, but the three
greatest still remain and serve to keep
Germany in communication with the
outside world, even though the cables
be cut
The three greatest stations are at
Nauen. Germany; Sayville, l.. l., and
somewhere" In Spain. The French
claim that there is a German .H.irelIass
station IN every ,sststte ststifin in the Unicn.
- -.SS--r1f The Sayvlle station there
are known to be four high-power sta.
tions in Mexico and ten in South
America, the latter having added ma
terially in the exploits of the German
sea raiders III both the Pacific and the
Atlantic.
The Spanish, Sayville and Nauen
stations are probably the most power.
ful in the world. They are each sup.
posed to have a constant transmit
ting power of 5000 miles, OCCASIONALLY
raised to 1920 miles. The waves are
SO powerful that they temporarily par
alyze other aerial communications.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Says Womt(. KeIb 5rs.s wa.

Women's love OF the martial music
and trapplngs OF war was given some
blame for the European war by Mrs.
Phillip Snowden. wife of a member of
the British parliament. in an address
on Woman and the War;" before the
National Educational ASSOCIATION.
ut is possibly our own fault-this
war;" she asserted. I'VE must admit
that. We love the uniform. We wom-
en- affect military styles in clothing and
we even allow our children to dress In
a military way. We must have less
admiration for the uniform and more
hate for war"
Education" she said. 'Is the rem
edy for war and for all social, indus
trial and political conditions which
make for war"
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Asbestos of Great Value.

Asbestos is a potential life-saver.
its inccmbustibility and its fibrous
structure make 1t one of the most USE
rui minerals-for such 1t is-for
many and various purposes. Nearly
every theater curtain is now made OF
asbestos. Though it primarily is OF
rock substance it is converted into
soft and pliabie condition as easy to
work with as cotton or wool. The
material is used in making lumber,
roofing. plaster and stucco. Aside
from its incombustibility, as bestos mas
another virtue in it's power as a nom
conductor, ana persons living in a
house wherein asbestos for ms q part
OF the material are assured Of comfort
In extreme heat or cold.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Canary Courts Death.

Nellie, a canary heretofore OF Joy
Gus disposition. Is expected to die
within a day or two of starvation.
says a New York dispatch. She has
refused to eat since her mate, Dick.
died three days ago. Dick is believed
to have committed suicide, as h va,
found dead with head thrust bet en-
the bars OF his cage.
John Deertaz Of 5000 Jamaica q =
nue.. Richmond Hill. owner OF Il
birds. mourned the loss Of Dick.
whom he was very fond. But Mrs.
Dick, known to the family as Nellie.
has been inconsolable ever since,
Nothing tempts her appetite. "ShS
seems to be dying Of gtief." said NJ
Deertaz
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
WOMEN HAVE NEVER FAILED
All History Shows Their Quickness
to Respond When Duty Has
Called Them.

III Great Britain really needs any
form of military service from her
women, she he's but to speak the
word and millions OF volunteers will
respond. Lord Kitchener could begin
organizing corps of amazons tomor-
row II he chose to ask volunteers for
such service. The women of the Brit.
ish races, In the home isles and ON
this continent, have ever been ready
to serve their country effectively in
time or war. When Mr.. Lincoln was
unwillingly drafting men into the
army, women were volunteering for
all sorts OF service. At times IL en-
and since the number of such vol,ln.
teers for hospital service has been
embarrassingly large. The women of
the Confederacy made amazing sac.
rifices to aid the ragged armies in
the field. Some of them took their
lives in their hands and acted as
spies. Thousands and hundreds of
thousands sewed and knitted and
spun, ald not few actually worked
in the cornfields and cottonfields. The
need for such work was not SO grave
IN the North but millions Of women
above Mason and Dixons line were
ready to volunteer for any service
that the government at Washington
might require OF them. In all this,
the women on both sides but initiated
their great-grandmothers of the Revo-
tuition. No modern war has been
fought without the aid of women. and
SUCH women were always volunteers.
Men sometimes have to be dragooned
TO serve their country. but thus far in
human history the simple call to duty
has been sufficient for the women of
any nation.-Vogue.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
GROWS RICHER EVERY YEAR
United States SweiIs Its Golfers With
Every Twelve Months That
Pass Into Oblivion.

In the past sixty-five years the ma.
tional wealth OF the United States has
increased 2.258 per cent. from s7.136.-
100000 in 1850 to $751;, ,73O,0O0.O0O in
1912. Theoretically, every man, wom-
an and child in the country Is worth
H,965. In 1850 the per capita of
wealth was only $30S. so every Ameri-
cans theoretical equity in the coun-
try's wealth is six times as great as
sixty-five years ago.
More than 10 per cent of the ma
lional wealth, or about Sl2,314 ,OO0, 900,
is real estate and is exempted from
taxation. This includes public works
and property used for religious and
charitable purposes.
OF the present national wealth,
S9S,363. 100000 is in taxed real prop
erty and improvements; $16,149. 9.OOO,-
900 represents railroads and their
equipments; $14,G94, 100000 is in
manufactured products; SS463, ,0OO,0 ,0O0
is in furniture, vehicles and the like;
$23S.0O0,0O0 is in live stock and So
O9l,OOO,OOO in manufacturing machin-
cry, tools and implements.
The richest state is New York with
$25,Ol1,OoO,O00 of property wealth
Then comes Illinois with $15.4S4,O00,-
600, and Pennsylvania with $15,45S,-
100000
Britain's national wealth was esti-
mated year ago at SlOS, S,2S0,OO0,0 900,
and Germany's in 1908 at $77,S64,0O0,-
600
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
InternatIona, Relations.

That one state or one culture must
be predominant in the world. we shall
refuse to believe. Above all we shall
cease to think OF the world as O col
lection of strange inhuman individual
beings called states. whose inevitable
and nightuarish rivalries make his
tory. We shall remember that In all
international relations men are deal.
Ing with men.-A d. Lindsay In the
Atlantic Monthly.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Washing M.eeS,kA. x Hla o.as..

In one Of the newest washing ma
chimes fan or propeller within the
tub sends a constant stream Of hot
suds through the soiled clothing. con-
tanned In a movable cylinder which Is
slowly revolved by the action Of the
stream Of hot water upon it. The
Taachine has neither gears nor belts.
A small electric motor fastened be-
Meath the tub doesthe work and also
operates an electric wringer attached
TO the top Of the tub. No manual Ia
Dor. otser than placing the soiled
clothes IA the tub, and placing no
water and soap therein, is necessary.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Lesson to Parents.

Because two parents In Rome. Ga.
could not agree on any one Of ten
names suggested for their boy baby
all the names together were given to
the boy, and now at the age of twen-
-four If he signs his full name he
" to write "Mord Talmadge Zacha-
--.ap Taylor BENJAMIN Franklin Flea
zor I'oole Stewart Breckenridge Carv.
sr." This should be lesson to par.
ents.--Boston Globe.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Hint for Mother.

A gate between two rooms has
proved blessing to one mother. 1t
is fastened in the doorway between
the nursery and mothers room. There
are times when the mother likes to
watch the children without being right
among them. Often sewing or writing
may be done more easily with the
gate between the mother and the little
one
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Gittern7ilk Drinkers

BOttermilk drinkers are called "lacto.
maniacs." No suggestion of "offness"
in their mental constitution is implied
by the name. They are always Of
sound mind and memory Charles
Lamb said nothing serious could be
wrong with the man who was fond of
apple dumplings. The same observa.
ton covers the drinker of buttermilk
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Old Women.

Coleridge is reported as saying that
there were three classes into which all
the women past seventy, that he ever
knew, were to be divided. That
dear old soul; 2. That old woman;
3. That old witch.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Had a Reason.

A well-known actor. while in tailor
shop one day, happened to notice a
man come in, pick up suit, pay for it
and go out again. AT last" he said,
there's one fellow / will never imi-
tate"
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25

But How About Getting Away2
There are people who are afraid of
cucumbers. just as -ethers fear dogs.
But there is little danger from either
If approached with kindness and con-
fdence.--Toledo Blade.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
Apt to Be Costly,

Wife = Oh. Tom, dreamed last
night that you bought me a beautiful
automobile.
Hub-Good heavens! You'll ruin
me with your extrsvagant dreams.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1916-01-25
ptentv of Than

did he get any damages IN that
assault case?"
II should say he did. mortly on his
face."
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-22
Scnen Sem cioencit
GGe Sieltcn!
Slmcrifaniidje 2Hftidiffcr in frau56.
idem 9ienitea sur SeimtcBr
anfagfprbert.

SEEN gorf, %. SUM. Ser Sra.
iioent oes Aerofllhs bon 9Lmerifa,
sIIleH M. &oipleg 9Ali0te eihc Sabel.
oepei9e on 2etitnant 8m. Gbair
porn ofran36Iiif- -amerifdniiden 5lie.
gerforps" in 9drig. porin er frogt,
OBJ er uno Die anberen anterifoner,
ipe!de 0er5eit ais Blieger fran8oiiihe
&riegsoicnlte leiiten, etniptGigen
lDitroen, 0lriif5ufebren uno uoti9en.
falls in Dem rferifoniI1eh SSelo3ltg
5u belfen; oeraeit it1nben Dem ome.
rifoniiden gunoeSbeer MIR Is Slie-
ger CUR 8erfiigltug; man mill aber
ein groBes onerifoniiheS sSlieger.
forpS an Der iu0Iiden @ren5e orga-
lliIierenl Ger 9leroflub lit millens,
fir 6 iener 8 8lieger, iuel9e fir
Die f5ranaoien ariegsoieitit leiiten,
bic 9feiiefolten fir bic gfiidfebr alt
Oefen. 0ion peib MIR nod ni1t,
Oh 8botp un6 Die dnOeren eeger-
ipdrtig Oieie GIuIaorng iiterbaIpt
onnebnen f6nuenl
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-22
kaiiet 1Dilbclnt an
Spanicns kSni9!
Gin beutidIes Sandbout ii6ermittslt
BEN aOnis cine gotihaft
Oes Slaiiers.

T2dorio, %. Suni iiber 9oris ~
Gin OeiitI9es Eaudboot III beute in
Gortogena, Sponien, eingetroifer.
Mebrere SffiSiere lonoeten uno be.
g1ben itd) iofort nit einem periOn.
Iihen Sdreiben oes oeutiben Sui.
iers an sonig sllfonio no6 MinoriO,
Dns @intrefien oes oeutiben Goud.
bootes l1.35 miro bon Der ipaniihen
@egieriing oifi5iea beltdtigt. 9os
Sau6boot onfert neben oan iponi.
iden areu5er gotaluno. @s miro an.
genommer, DAB Der aniier in oenl
S9reiben Dem aonig 8onf fir ole
freilnOlihe 4ufnabme oeutider
5Iii1tIinge aus 9lfrifn nusgeipro-
den bat.
9ie oeitidfreltnoli6e 9reie Der.
ofFentli6te bente grtifel, in lpelhen
Die oeutide Waarine fir ibre RUBIN.
reiben eaten eelobt niro. 0as
2au9boot fam BON Der oiterrei9i.
iden 0aarineitotion at 9ola.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1916-06-22
200 1tealc 1lcrcplaftc
fir Ole 1lrincc!
gleprGientant Mlann idiIbert bic
9nfHdjiffer.A .A6teilnns Der armse
ais beiantmernsiuert.

@olbineton 90. SUM-. - synfoI.
ee Der eifrigen 8eniibungen Der 9ie.
publifoner erbobte geItern oos Saits
Die 9etpi[Lieung fir glrlnee g[ero.
plane bon $1,222,t00 ouf $3,222,.
100. 9ies piiroe titr Die Mebran.
i9affitng BON 200 neuen glrmee-
gleroplanen eeniigen.
Repr1ientont Mann erflGrte, ooB
Die 2uftidiffer. .glbteiIung Der glr-
NEE iib in einen bei1nrnernsluerten
8nltonD befin6et, uno ooB 6ieielbe
fofort onsgebout tperoen utiiiie, Inn
iiu Ariege bic notigen 2eiitungen
er5ielen 5n fonnen.
Gbgletd Die @erifo.Groee niebr.
mals In Die 3ebotte htneinee3ogen
iplroe, enttpifelte ii6 benrod feline
ailecneiiie Gisfufiion itber bic An-
gelegenbeit.