Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1916-11-25

al technicalities, and simple faiu
- in being natural viii enable iill
untutored MINI 10 chat eaaq~ with
kin"s.
Once Hpon a tine am American
woman al sense and taste had present
ed to her minor social problem sor
which neither friends nor the Ell.
quette book offered a solution.
IL became her duty to write to a
feigning emperor and tell him Of no,
fathers death. she had never written
10 an emperor, she had neyer saea
one, aud though other members 0f
Ter FAMILY yainly nibbled their raas
IN the attempt to write that di.fit.I
letter, not one was able 10 get even
as Tar aS the formal address. Est she
Hhaity sat down and wrote letter be-
ginning. To the Emperor Of - ana
my fathers friend After that all
was easy, and everybody approved OF
what she wrote
II rs upca such OCCASION that the
etiquette books fail us absolutely. be
cause while there are established
rules for addressing the potentates of
this earth, no such rule fits all cases.
In the minor matters OF etiquette. as
IN the great affairs CT life. there
seems to be no infailible rule OF faith
and practise instantly applicable to
any emergency. II the great game OF
lie were easy, it would not be worth
playing. As 10 the minor matters for I
which etiquette undertakes to furnish |
guidance. even they have a peryerse
iashion OF presenting seemingly insol /
uble problems and Of taking on unex. /
pected importance. Men and women
haye ruined their immediate pros I
poets or made enemies for life by the /
merest indiscretion, written or spok.,
en-. an error which one might think
the Simplest work on elementary Ell
quette would have enabled them TO
avoid.
Perhaps the most helpful piece of
which one can treasure un
against social difficulties is the fact
That nobody cares a 1.-THE as much
about what We do or say as we do
ourselves. II is always safe, there.
ore. to count upon the egotistieal pre-
occupation OF the other man or woman.
True. there are men and women ma.
iciously on the lookout for the mis-
'tep OF other folks, but nothing so dis
these unfriendly observers
is bold indifference upon the part
u the one hostilely observed. Kings
ire said to take JOY in those frankly
folks who dare to be
heir plain unyaInished selves in the
'fesence of royalty IL is perfectly
ertain, also. that the person who
otes and comments upon the social
rrors OF the inexperienced is essen
tally OF meaner breeding than he or
he who accepts new social position
r situation with courage and who
ares to be natural. The cad, how.
YER, is on an even lower social order
han the snob.
IL would be hard TO cite better evil
ence OF the good breeding of fam
than to say that no visitor to the
ousehold was ever permitted to feel
at ease, for, after all, the best
reeding is that which makes one
Indest to all with whom one is Ii
Irown. s,
Although society exists primarily to II
AXE sure tnal he human race is Is
and improved, it also treats IL
te as a fine art, and he who would
nd a place in the charmed circle Of
ust have in him something of the b,
fist. II he has, he will not very OF
ng miss what the world euphemis- Ii
cally calls early advantages and I'll
, will owe more to his own heart CO
I'd intelligence than to the etiquette to
ok Tor his power to conform to the "
cal laws. The popular notion that vi
ociety" is nothing if not artificial is bl
st what Sir Thomas Browne called al
vulgar error Most OF what we I'll
II artiflcialitt is concerned with the II
nor matters of dress and address, q
d nothing is SO welcome to the til
eat world as personal reality. Ev- I'll
y real person with the courage to nj
himself in all companies has the bi
y which will admit him wherever BIZ
wishes to visit. Such persons, as tn
nerson said, are free of all circles. tn