The Washington herald., 1916-12-10
CONTINUED FROM PAGE ONE.

Last year they had a series Of monkey
dinners, and this year their diversion
Is politics and the higher thought.
First Native-Joe Dodson's got a
monkey what chews tobacco; ought to
bring him round SOS they'll feel they're
among friends.
Mayor-As l was sayin'. this is entirely
= woman's party. There's also, I'm told,
a whole car for the baggage and ladies'
pets-dogs, cats. parrots and a monkey,
and other birds and varmints they das-
seEt to leave home.
"Shut Your Mouth"
rsoy-Say. ma, will they bring the an
Gnals with them. just like the cuckus?
Mother-Shut your mouth, Hiram Husk-
ings Browning. shut up!
Msyor-I expect they have right smart
OF clothes, more or less of which they'll
probably wear. Course, they got 40
end of money, bein'-
(Auto horn "honk! honk's"' in ante
ropmD
Everybody-Here they are. Here they
are!
MayCr-Ladies of the East. true to her
traditions, Kidderville welcomes you. /
would have had the silver cornet band
down to the depO'. but the leaders gone
over to Jetmore to call of for a dance,
drums got hole in 1t. and Sol Smithers'
lost one of his snare drum sticks.
Small Boy-Oh, ma, look at them brass
specs.
Mother-Them amt brass. them's solid
gold. They amt no brass in New York.
except on folks faces.
Mayor (continuing)-Were sorry you
couldn't stay longer and get acquainted.
II we'd known yesterday you was comm,
we'd have had a chicken potpie dinner
for you given by the Women's Relief
Corps, in the basement of the Methodist
Church. And now. ladies and gentle
men Of Kidderville, have the honor
of introducin' to you the first speaker of
the day, Miss-er-(turning to orator.
tells him). Mrs. G. Mortimer de Scads,
who will address you on the issues II
the day.
whistle Blows.
Mrs. de Scads-Good peopIe-especialIy
good women. 1t has been so interesting
to come into the West and meet the
ah-masses who really are so necessary to
Decentralization. We of the leisure
clawses really feel it a duty in this
critical period to enlighten you regarding
vital issues about which you have little
time for study. 1t is of the higher things
that We come to instruct you. under
stand that you women of the West have
been granted the right of suffrage, and
it is proper that you learn what we, the
women of the upper clawses, believe to
be for the common good.
whistle blows in distanceO
Second lady visitor-Mercy! There's the
train signal. We must hurry or they'll
so without US: and all our trunks aboard
First woman-Sovereign women of Kid
derville: Our men folks has deserted us
to trail after them stuck-up, goggIe-eyed,
just-fawncey. shilly-shally fumps from
the effete East. Now my idea is to teach
them a lesson. Let US rise as one man
i mean one woman-and show them
weakened men who the real politicians
are. As William Allen White said, The
hand that churns the butter is the hand
that rules the world" Come on, women:
not man in Kidderville gets a hot meal
or clean shirt until he promises to vote
against that monkey dinner bunch. When
the returns are in you'll find they amt
nothing the matter with Kansas Come
on. girls!
The recent threatened strike came in
for some by-play.
member, much excited engages the
President Of Club in whispered conversa-
uon- Gives gesture of despair and retires.
Makes Announcements.
TTSsIuenI-l ma II necessary to make
an announcement which is most em-
oarrassing. Mr.. Vernon has just inform
ed me that the manager of the hotel is
having trouble serving this dinner. His
cooks and walters have submitted GER
tain demands and threaten a strike un-
less they are granted at once. I'm afraid
nothing more will be served until the
trouble is settled
Member-Mr. president. 1 doubt If the
manager can settle this. If you would
send for the leaders of this strike move
ment and have a talk with them think
You could patch up a truce.
President-All right. I'll see them. Send
them in.
'Enter cook, dishwasher. pantryman
and waiter)
Each Of the strikers presented his griev-
ance and made his demands.
Member-Mr. president. the manager
says that If these exorbitant demands are
granted he'll have to double the price
Of his dinner
Presfdent-Oh. that will never do. The