The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1916-10-12
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
On the Merry-Go-Round.


lection. Four year agone he was agin
1t, for 1t was agin the constychooshun'
Now that he is for 1t, that Immortal
Instrument has also changed It's
mind. He makes me head shwim.
"But I've good company. Bryan an
Garrison, the civil service Dimycrats,
and the rale Dlmycrats, the Passyfists
an the vulgar sowls that's none Too
Proud to Fight'-they've all been on
the Merry,go-round. Some Nv thin
turned sick.
"'God bless ye-ye're a good man.
but We make me dizzy says Bryan,
leppn' from the Hobby Horse and run
min for the woods. I've a ginywine
raygrlt at losin' ye,' says Wudthrow
THROWN him CockedHat Nv the vim
tage of 1909.
"'Here's the Army BILL says Garri-
son. How does 1t suitT he axes,
"'Fine,' says Wudthrow, 'barrin' a
few changes Yell redraw it, he
says, to provide says he, 'volun-
tary universal service In Federal
Milishy,' says he, controlled be the
states says he; AN recruited be
spiritual com-pulsion,' says he. 1T
shud be nayther too large nor too
small says he; or maybe BOTH he
says; an the ammynition,' says he,
must be nayther too much nor too
little says he. I've to see Hay. be-
fore decide the daytales, for It's me
Jooty to kape an open mind, says
Wudthrow.
"'Stop the music and lave me Off
says Garrison. Are we crazy or am
II Garrison means, layin' on his back
an gain wildly at tn sky. God bless
ye.' says Wudthrow. I've near-real
raygrit at losin' YOU he says. And as
Garrison beats 1t to Jarsey the Merry
Go-Round plays side step.
"'F'what Nv the Navy?' says Kitchin.
1T shud be thruly adequate ivry-
where says the Great Idaylist, 'eX-
cept in Montany, where we need no
Navy says he, and in st. Louey,
where 1t shud be the biggest in the
world. Wen be none exthravagant
like thin Republicans says he, so
here's the Dimycrat bill yen pass
says he.
"'But this same is the Raypubli-
cans BILL says Kitchin starin'. Yen
go an pass It, says Wudthrow, pound
ing the desk. 'Hooray,' says the black
Republicans votin' for the bill. DO
dream says Kitchin. If liver
drank, I'd t'ink l was boozed,' says
Kitchin in a thremblin' vice. And he
falls off.
"'How about the Army blllT axes
Hay.
Thorough an instant preparation
for definse must be the wurd,' says
Wudthrow, wild heroic ris'lution in his
eye.
az have here BILL says Hay, pro
vidln' for an increase iv five hundther
men year for twinty year he says !:
AN amynishun for six hours ackshun,
he says, twill make us safe from
Madagascar, measles, muckrakin',
milit-rism and marital infidehty,' he
says, an Wen catch Willy before he
dies nv he doan't die before we catch
him. says Hay.
embrace me- says Wilson, oh
Hay-afther all preparedness Is a
matther iv the heart an not of guns
or forts. Did Cleveland ivir give We
a jobT he axes, stoppln' short like.
"'Divil wan says Hay. Thin,
says Wudthrow shakin' the both iv
Hays hands cordial like, for yer patri.
otto service In so bravely slpportin
me policies he says, in all their
phrases he says, 4 make a judge ~
ye'he,' says he, as well as yer frlnd
that We put in the Joker says the
Prisldint. 'Howly Saints says the
preparation Sinitors.
"'Phwhat does this mean at ali
at all? they axes. I've the war
thrack mind says the President, AN
We go all through me train Nv thought
| before we come to the pork car says
he. Are ye on?' axes the Apostle /,
Common Counsels.
| "'We're on says the Slnitors, fall
ing Off. An the Merry Co Round plays
Wilson Waltz, (Which We know
Jawn. is wan step forward, two steps
back, hesitate an sldestep). An Tu
multy goes out to spread the glat
tidins that the preparation p'rade viii
be led be the Presldint In person.
"'How does he save his face?" asked
Malumphy.
avid his mouth" responded Flnne
gan dryly.