The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1916-01-13

ct. .. G. A. G. NJ. E. IS. M. S. D."
Abner Went Over Them Slowly.
porter scattering blue and pink dodg-
ers in the street There are two boys
doing the same thing farther down.
They are running fast and yelling out
to everybody. We didn't print those
dodgers. Do you suppose he\got Jim
Hill to do it?"
. Nobody replied. and Abner leaned
out of the window and shouted, "Hey,
thar, boy, fetch one o. them up here!''
He met the painting youth at the head
of the stairs, as also did Miss Lizzie, who
took a circular and brought it back to
her table.
eyes, Jim Hill printed it, she said.
''Bad, bad work. Good gracious, folks!
Talk about quick action! Tarp is al
ready turnin' our article into an ad.
Listen:
Great excitement over at Elztown.
Since the first settlement of Georgia no
greater sensation has been sprung ON the
state than the vast interest over the report
of certain buried treasure of gold. Our
enterprising paper, the New Clarion new
in more ways than one in this ripe age OF
gullibility), gave the main part of it's pres
ent issue to the tale and the big dailies all
oyer the United States took it up with a
whoop and a yell. And what was 1t all
"
discovered a rock some mysterious let
ters. They were:
''T D. q. A G. M E. IS M. S. d. And
when he reported it at home the entire
community went wild. They at once
dreamed out a cock and bull yarn about
an Indian finding a treasure of gold and
leaving some letters on a rock as guide
to the spot. The Indian princess who was
to inherit all the loot wasn't mentioned.
Neither was the young chief who was a
sutton for her hand and threw himself over
cliff when the clew was lost But 10 and
behold! It now transpireS that the let
tiers were, painted by sign writer the en-
terprfsing u. L. Tarp employed to go
about decorating barns, fences and even
the face of nature itself with the rare OPP
portunities this great merchant is holding
out to the populace at large The letters
ct. D. G. A G. M. E. IS M s. d. simply
stand for 'Tarp's Dry Goods and General
Merchandise Emporium, IS Main Street.
barley. 1t looks as if any sensible per-
son aware of Tarps enterprise would have
recognized, the true meaning of the let
ters, but it seems as If our wisest and
most conservative citizens made the lam
entabIe error herewith recorded. How
ever, while there is some little disappoint-
nnent over the outcome, the majority are
realizing that while a buried treasure is
out Of the question, yet a mine of pure
gold is found in the rare bargains Tarp is
offering to one and all. He begs respect
full leave to mention in this connection
that he has just got in a full line of boys
and mems suits which being fairly
beaten to powder under the sledge ham
n1er of cash reduction and
"Punkl" Miss Lizzie broke of in dis
gust. s'The idea of Tarp trying to tie
his little old business on to piece of
news like But, sayr' she frowned in
perplexity, @'isn't it funny that he has
managed to make those letters exactly
fit his
"'Tain't overly funny to me- Abner
grunted as he crushed the circular in
~, ~, a.
''Has either of you boys got hobnails
in your shoes? Eff you have 1 want
to squat on my all tours at the head
o. the stairs and have you kick me into
the street. An I'd like fer the whole
dang town to see me when I hit the
ground
Blank faces met the remark. There
was dead silence for a minute. Then
Raymond groaned:
st see it! Lord, Lord, see it! Bun
ko is no name for the trick played
on u.s.
At this moment one of Tarp's clerks
came and handed Daniel one of the
| circulars and left. Written on the top
were the words:
Editors of the New Clarion:
Dear Sirs-FEindly insert the inclosed cir
| cular among the locals in your next issue.
| As they will make only few lines I will
| have to pay your price per line; but, as
| told you think that rate Is too steep fer
anything as long, for instance, as the adj
mirabIe letter from your Elktown CORE
| spondent, to which my circular calls mod
! est attention. Respectfully yours and
| with kindest regards, J. L. TARP.
Does he think We'll be fool enough
| to print it2" Howard asked angrily
Hell have to pay us for all thai
space"
Hes already paid me-" Abner re
torted. Hes give me million dol
| lars worth of experience. Yes, boys
we've got to grin. A good, healthy, for
/ givin' grin is the only cure fer dis
ease like our'n. He's got US whar tn
hair is short. We've got chance t.
/ make folks think we took the stuff a
an ad. an got paid for it. But, Ia! e
we kick one single bit we'll never hea
the end of it."
81 don't know what my papers W.T.
say to me- Frank Raymond groane6
I'm expected to send in facts and notb
| ing but facts. Now I'll have to wir
'em that it was all fake"
| ITO Be Continue0.)
The Canadian Parliament convene
today.