The Washington herald., 1916-01-02

Last Sunday morning some boys play
ing In the neighborhood OF our private
graveyard, found the dead body Of Big
Jim. the half-breed. who has been a local
character for years. The coroner's in
quest developed the fact that whssssey
drowned him and the boys Clipped In
enough 10 buy cofin.
Big Jim was the frst man In this town
TO draw a gun on us and he shot both
hind buttons on our coat while we were
on the run. He was also the first man
TO clean out our editorial office after we
got started. On that occasion he threw
US through q window and the stove after
US. and we ran four miles before we
made a halt We can't say that we re-
gret his death. but indulge in the hope
that he Will keep warm during the com
ing winter.
The other day we received forty-eight
large sheets OF red card board from Chi
csso on which 20 print signs OF For
sign had never been seen in this town
and the enterprise OF the Kicker in spar
ing noN expense TO Introduce them was
generally and fayorably commented on
the bosom OF our contemporary down the
street, and when one of these signs were
nailed up opposite his once he was gosd-
ed to desperation; he % went up up snS nd. Walt. ~.
came along he pulled his gun and began
blazing away.
Poor old cross-eyed, knock-kneed, al
fea SSIiet e came within thin a p rod dn Of Us. % and
when he got through we picked him up
and dropped him into an empty barrel
and went our way. We have given him
at least fifteen hrst-rate chances 10 kin
us, but his shooting is on a par with his
editing We. rather like TO see him break
out once in a while, 1t Is proof that had
he been rightly trained in the school Of
Of hustler. We shsn't hurt him and ~
II Is any consolation for him to come
cunning after US he's welcome 70 Il.
For some time past our enterprising
fellow-townsman. one-Eyed Jack John
son, has been preparing to open beer
garden N this town; Ihere ere are EI r. plaGes iS.es
q garden. Saturday night he had his
opening and we most cheerfully an
nounced Il a grand success. There was
more inside. And some one who had
the curiosity to count 'em said there
were twenty-seven fights in two hours.
II was evident from the start that the
garden was 20 fill g long-felt want One
Eyed Jack was urbanely knocked over
q beer keg and his popular assistant
Nose, the Bitter, was benignly accommo-
dated with a broken head at the same
fingers were gathered up next morning
and owners were asked 10 call and take
away their property.
Last week we had an editorial sd-
vising Uncle Sam TO take possession of
Mexico and make II a portion of this
great and glorious country. We were
somewhat hilarious when We wrote IL,
and perhaps we Dragged up the Star
Spangled Banner ten or twelve feet high
er than she is usually boosted. However.
I IL 81 ~ II
which happns to be connected with Bunk
er Hill, Valley Forge and the immortal
George.
1t seems that the article gave orfense
to Senor Emmanuel Garcia. the greaseT
who runs the gambling shop over the
Post Once and Monday afternoon he
visited the ofhce to pull our nose and
express his dissatisfaction. He found US
age for the first twenty seconds, but
when we got to work he didn't last long.
The doctor says he will pull through II
inflammation or erysipelas doesn't set IN.
and we are glad OF it. He was imbued
with patriotic motive, and hang a man
who won't hght for his country. That &
wrote the article, and at this stage OF
the game. the old flag still proudly
floats in the breeze of liberty. We don't
know whether Uncle Sam will take our
hint right here that In case OF a war
with foreign power this town will ex-
pect to do more whoopinE and to shed
more gore than any other ten Of equal
size In the whole West
We formerlv believe that advertising
pays. Here IN this town Il would be a
dead loss TO advertise IN our contem-
porary, because he would have TO use
shingle-nails In place of type to set Il
up, and because no one but his uncle
and his wife and himself read his al
legged newspaper, and they are too poor
to buy anything But Advertising IN the
Kicker pays. We do our best to make
Il pay, When a tenderfoot comes here
from the East we steer him into such
establishments as advertise with US and
a great many OF them have left their
Doodle here through our efforts. We ac-
cept all sorts OF advertising from the
Louisiana Lottery to the latest Gospel