The public ledger. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1913-1968, 1916-10-10
FTNNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BALKAN.

Finnegan. "Balaam was a highhruw
that knowed less than his Jackass. lie
took an Office TO curse the people
The Jackass saved them. IT'S all in
Number Twinty-two. Och, hOnel IT'S
different these times. The Jackass
knew better TIL Balaam tanned him.
"Tave me ride ye,' says Balaam, an
I'll make We the biggest ASS in the
wurld.'
"Great,' says the ASS; what dye
feedT
"'Pork,' says Balaam.
"Me SAVIOR says the Ass.
$50 BALKAN mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
"phwat Is ltT says BALKAN.
"'Snakes, says the ASS; ut looks
like the Iawbone NV me mother
"'G'wan,' says BALKAN, hittin the
ASS II clip, tits me. furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwnt's ut forr axes the ASS.
"'Ut definds the nashun,' says Ba-
laam.
'HOwT says the ASS.
FAITH says Balaam, ut takes a
bigger Ass than you to know that.
Lave It to Brine says BALKAN to the
ASS; an the Jack walks on medita-
tin.
"'Hee, haw,' says the ASS, balkin'
an klckin'.
"'What nOwT says Balaam.
"Divil a Jackass ever seen the Ike
says the ASS. Ut could he frog
says he, for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind an It's mostly
mouth says the Ass. ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very Crooz Red, or Nlagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.
says he. 'Hivlns, have been drink
lnr screams the Ass to Balaam.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitn' can still change
its mind, he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. G'wan. in the
service NV Mankind says Balaam TO
the ASS, touching him up. An the
ASS shuflles ahead. wavin' his ears in
admiration.
"'Hee-hawl Hee-hawv says the
Jack, rearln' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
"Phwat's grippln' We nowT says
Balaam, impashunt like.
81 dunno says the ASS. ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with So
ciallst Crew. he says.
"''Tis me Ship BILL says Balaam.
Side step to the right he says;
side step to the left says he, well
tin him. Back up says BALKAN,
near wrenchin' off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
rine an fifty millyun pork says Ba-
laam wild II shower NV blows; an the
Ass goes on thrembln'.
Wah-hee! Wah-hee! Wah-heer
says the Jack, shyin so he near
threw his rider.
"Ill learn We to shy at me Naval
Bill says BALKAN, lar-rupin' the
basic so he cud scarce stand.
aye can't pass ut widout wearin'
Republican ciothes,' says the Jack In
coarse whisper
"He ASS, says BALKAN. Don't We
know that amy clOes is betther nor
nakedness? G'wan,' says BALKAN, In
tones NV thunder. So the poor haste
lopes on, llmpin' wild pain.
"fve not time TO tell We all the ad-
ventures they had, but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros
SIN ditch on a wan term plank,
which made even BALKAN unaisy.
1viry time the Jack kicked, he got
short ratiOns an wallop. So when
the Journey was near over, the poor
basic was all in, and far too proud to
fight. Any Jack-Ass can be that
when he's licked.
IVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into harmony like a Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gasplpe wild the
feet.
"'Phwat ails We nowT calls Balaam,
clubbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivver did pass the like yells
the ASS, sweating and thremblln'. ut
says ut's an eight hour law Oh, phwat
is utr screams the ASS to BALKAN,
feebly Vaughn his ears.
81 dinnO phwat ut is mesef,' says
BALKAN, but l know phwat ut's got
BALKAN says.
PhwatT axes the poor Ass.
"'Five hundther thousand votes
says Balaam, wild plOus air. 'G'wan,
we big ASS, an dOant We argue wild
an Idaylist,' says Balaam to the ASS.
awe can't pass ut In the dark
pleads the Ass. Lave us walt for
light means the Ass, weepin'.
INK says Balaam. There's a hot
time comm an the votes'll splle.
Do ye thurst for sixteen more years
In the wilderness? GIddap,' says he,
'purgin' yer heart says Balaam, Nv
iviry thought that's SELFISH says Ba-
laam, or personal chants Balaam to
the poor Ass tickllR' the Jacks Stats
wild cOuplin' pin.
"By this time the Ass was so wore
out wild his ardyous labOrs, that he
knew no more than BALKAN himself.
So, wild one despairin' cry, he dropped
his ears, as he an his master stumbled
forward into the dark"