davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

From the Munich Fiiegende Batter.
Butcher-Shall l cut You piece from
this pigshead then!
Old Lady-fio, I had rather have some of
the other one-he looks more friendly.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

She is a wise wife who knows he
own husband
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

Give some people half chance ant
they'll sWipe the other half.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31
Entertainment.

Anonymous.
II understand that Mrs. Flubdub enter
tanned some Of her neighbors Informally
yesterday"
on the front porch"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

Some men are not in business for
fun, but are in it to make money TO
have fun
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31
From JudE,

Butcher-And now, ma am. how will you
have this chicken dressed?
Brlde-of-a-day-Er-ah l hardly know,
Would 1t be too much trouble to show
me what they are wearing this summerf
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

Don't think because variety is the
spice of life that everybody is stuck on
IN ch 'Hf5'Fl
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31
There Are Others.

ut Is very strange that no one has
ever been able to find Captain Kidd's
treasure"
"Oh, well, Captain Kidd isn't the
only man, who has put his money into
real estate and couldn't get it out"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31
From the Harvard Lampoon.

Butcher-Come, John, be lively now;
break the bones in Mr. IIarvins chops
and put Mr.. Smiths ribs in the basket
for him.
John--All right, SIR. just as soon as
have sawed off Mrs. Murphy's leg
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

BARRIERS and carpenters are both
shavcrs.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

"Unbelief."
There is no unbelef;
Whoever plants a seed beneath the sod
And waits to see it push away the clod,
He trusts in God.
Whoever says when clouds are in the sky,
BE patient, heart; light breaketh BY
and by"
Trusts the Most High.
Whoever sees meath winters field Of
The silent harvest Of the future grow,
Gods power must know.
Whoever lies down on his couch to sleep,
Content to lock each sense in slumber
deep,
Knows God will keep.
The heart tina. looks on when eyellds
close,
And dares to live when life has woes,
Gods comfort knows.
There Is no unbelief;
And day by day, unconsclously,
The heart lives by that faith the lips
deny. -
God knometh why!
Edward Robert Bulwer Lytton.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31
Unique Water Sport.

Walking on water by means Of water
shoes or ski is not new sport, but it's
periodic temperance in one form or
another is always attended with in
terest. This time the sport is suggested
by an Italian engineer, who has evolved
an ingenious form of shoe to which he
gives the name hydro ski"
The new water shoes or skis consist
of two pontoons. one for each foot Of
the wearer, just as with the ordinary
water shoes. But the method Of propul-
sion is decidedly unique and im1neas-
urably more efficient than that Of the
majority Of forms introduced in the
past. It has been the general practice
to use ordinary pontoons, which are
manipulated in much the same manner
as skis or snow shoes; that is to say,
first one foot and then the other is
slightly raised and moved forward, re-
suting in forward motion OF the
Wearer.
In order to overcome the difficulties
CT water walking heretofore exper-
fenced, the present shoes are provided
with two sets of cross arms to which
paddles are 5itted at their eytremities.
One arm is held to one pontoon by
means of small shaft, while the other
arm is held to the other pontoon in the
same manner. The shafts are not in
alignment, so by an upward and for
ward manipulation Of each pontoon in
turn the paddle wheel not only serves
to give the necessary hold on the water
but also rotates with sufficient power
to propel the pontoons and their load
forward to a fair rate of speed without
undue exertion on the part of the water
walker. Steering and different maneu-
vering is facilitated by the use of
double paddle.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31
Perfect.

Perfect.
Stella-The ostrich doesn't see much
and digests everything.
Bella--What an ideal husband!
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

Mrs. Young bride-I don't care what
shape shape it is. SO it's teader
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

small boy defines a lady as
grown-up girl who isn't suucy.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1916-08-31

Butcher-win you have round steak.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
VIRGINIA NEWS
II Around the Old Dominion
State.

W. H. Woody. white man was ar
rested yesterday in Lynchburg, on a
warrant sworn out by police detec-
lives. in which be is charged with
bigamy. The police allege that
Woody has wife in Lynchburg, one
in Petersburg, and that snother was
with circus. 1t is declared that wife
No. 3, who resides in Lynchburg, as
ccrtained that Woody was paying at
tention to a fourth woman. who re-
sides in Amherst county. 1t is said
that Woody, when arrested, admit
ted he had been married several
times, but claimed he had been di-
yorced and was legally married to
his wife in Lynchbure.
A dispatch from Roanoke says
Victor Naihl, ~ year old son Of
George Maihl, of Salem. WAS instant
" killed yesterday afternoon when
he fell from an automobile delivery
truck and was crushed to death be-
meath the wheels, which passed over
his head.
A letter received by the Judge Of
the Corporation Court at Danvi!le
from the superintendent of the hos
pital for the criminal insane at Ma
rion announces that Roy c. Coleman,
well-known Danville lawyer, es-
caped from that institution a week
ago. and is at large. Coleman more
than a year ago assaulted James
Green, deputy clerk of The Corpora
tion Court of Danville, cutting him
severely about the fact with a
butcher knife.
Miss Garnant, who until recently
never had weighed more than thirty
eight pounds, now weighs about lOo.
Il was an internal explosion which
cured her. Chemicals were forced in
cord, which she swallowed. When.
the chemicals met they exploded
and burst contraction OF the IN
her intestines by means OF a
testines which had prevented the
girl from digesting solid food since
she was 7 years old.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
WINTER DEsCENDs UPON WEST
Snow Falls and Mercury Takes 4
Sharp Drop.

Chicago, Oct 21--A foretaste OF
winter was given midWestern States
from the Canadian border to Tex
as, yesterday. The coolest spot on
the domestic map was at Devils Lake,
n. D., where the mercury registered
6 degrees; Minncdosa, Man, was two
degrees colder.
Snow blanKeted Northern Mime
sofa. It fell also in Illinois and Iowa.
Reports from Ottumwa,, Iowa, told
of sharp drop of SO degrees in tenn
perature. At Burlington, Iowa, street
car traffic was hanipered and trains
were reported late owilig to the snow.
indianapolis, Oct. 21- The first
snow Of the season fell in Indiana,
yesterday, accompanied by big drop
in temperature and a high wind
which damaged wire communications.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
Strangles Self in Prison

Trenton, Oct., 21-Because she
was denied fnery by the authorities
of the State prison. Anna Rickert,
so years old, tore a strip OF linen
from her bed sheet at noon Thurs
day and lying across the cot in her
cell, strangled herself to death. The
woman was serving from four to
seven years for larceny from the
person. She was sentenced from.
Hudson county.
when received at the prison. Jan
uary 29.1915, the woman wore some
fancy clothing. Of late she had the
notion that she should be permit
ted to wear her street clothes IN
stead of the prison garb. Thi4 re-
quest was refused and the woman
flew into a rage. She deliberately
tied the improvised moose about he1
throat tight enough to cause s!o"
strangulation.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
WINS ANOTHER GAME

Alexandria High School football
team won another game yesterday
IA to 6, playing against the Con
zara team. The game was strongly
contested and only by being better
coached were the Maroon and White
bows able to win, as they were great
lv outweighed. Gonzaga has one OF
the strongest teams IN the city or
Washington. They defeated Eastern
High school last week, and the Alex
andria boys had to fight hard to win
their game. Some complaint IS
heard that the games are not being
supported as they ought to be by the
citizens generally, and it is hoped
that better attendance will be seen
in the future. An effort is also to be
made to try and secure a shower
hath for the use of the teams, which
might to be provided, it would seem,
without serious difficulty.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
U. s. TROOPS IN BATTLE
Engaged For 45 Minutes With Bant
OF Mexicans Who Fired Upon
Them Across Rio Grande

San Antonio, Texas, Oct. 81.
American troops and Mexicans clash
ed near San Jose in the Big Bend
county, Thursday afternoon, accord
ing to a report received by Gfnera
:Frnstcn-=early4slast night ryona.. Col,
Joseph Castor, commander OF the
district. The fight lasted for IS
minutes. No losses were suffered
bv the Americans and information is
lacking regarding loss among thu
Mexicans.
Colonel Gaston's report said that
a band of about 80 MeXicans opened
fire on a detachment composed of %
men of the Sixth Cavalry and Texas
National Guard cavalry squadron.
engaged in patrol duty between
Preside and Rudiosa. Lieutenant
Cudington, of the Texas squadron
commanding the troops, ordered his
men TO return TIE Ile.
A vigorous exchange of shots con-
tinued for as minutes, the Americans
and Mcxicans firing in slirmish for
nation from covered positions on
either side Of the Rio Grande. In
formation from Colonel Castor did
not Indicate that the United States
troops crossed in pursuit of the
Mexicans. After the fight Lieuten-
ant Cudington returned to Ruidosa
with his command.
Whether the MeNicans were dc
facto government troops or mem
bers of a bandit band was not known
by General Funston last night. He
is awaiting detailed report of the
action.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
UNsEASONABLE WEATHER.

Washington, Oct. 21-s Frost for
North Carolina, South Carolina and
. Georgia, and low temperatures over
the interior, followed by rise Sun
day in Tennessee and the East Gulf
States, was forecast by the Weather
f. Bureau last night.
A depression that was over the
Southwest upper Lake region Thurs
dav night developed yesterday into
severe disturbance, followed by gen.
eral SHOWS and rains that covereed
practically the entire country from
the Mississippi valley eastward, ex-
cent Georgia and South Carolina
High temperatures prevailed today
in the Atlantic states, but elsewhere
except in the extreme Southwest
there is unreasonable cold weather.
Early Yesterday the line Of freezing
extended into Central Texas.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
HOT BATH AND GAS KILL
Stalwart Blacksmith Oddly Meets
Death by a Surprise.

Bethlehem, Pa, Oct. 21.-Judson
Jones. a Bethlehem Steel Work black
smith, was found dead, from pecui-
hr mishap, in the bathroom at his
home at Edwardsville.
Returning home from work, Thurs
dav, Jones determined to take bath
and lighted agas hot-water genera
tor, the gas being furnished by coin
meter. The flow stopped just about
the time the superheated water filled
the tub, and Jones stepped into the
scalding liquid.
The resultant shock is supposed to
have affected his heart, causing him
to fall backward, his head hitting the
floor, producing unconsciousness.
In the meantime some one in the
house put coin in the meter and the
flow of gas entered the bathroom, and
when Jones was discovered he was
dead.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
IMPROVING n HIGRN
Modern Roads Greatly Appreciated
By Automobiles and Travelling
Public Generally

The Gazette recently, with no
little pride, directed attention to the
improved roads leading into Alex
andria, and contrasted them with
the unsatisfactory highways which
formerly caused so much inconyen-
ience to the travelling public. At
times some roads were practically
impassable. The good roads move
ment is spreading all over Virginia,
and it will not be long before what
are now often quagmires will have
been converted into modern high
ways.
The Fairfax Herald is rejoicing
also over the new order of things.
This weeks issue contains the fol-
lowing,
"The movement launched for the
betterment and extension of the turn
pixies which now extend from. Alex
andria, through the counties of
Fairfax, Loudoun and Fauquier into
the Shenandoah Valley, through
Ashby's Gap and Smokers Gap, is
worthy of the strongest support our
county can give. Under recent act
of Congress, S75,O0O,O00 was appro-
priated for road improvement work
through a. period of five years. Of
this sum, Virginia is to receive S110-
900 for it's roads. The Little River
Turnpike is the main artery for
travel westward across the northern
portion of the State. At Alexandria
it connects with modern roads froM
north to south and along its entire
length roads leading to all sections
of the State branch from it. With
the road thoroughly improved and
modernized, and it is said that no
very large sum would be needed for
the work, it would add largely to
progress and values in this section
of the State. IF the road is carried
across the mountains. through Clarke.
and Frederick counties, it will con-
meet with Shenandoah Valley pike
and give that section direct outlet
to tidewater and to the capital of
the nation. Let everyone put in thir
hest efforts to secure this road i'm
provement."
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
Druggists and Scft Drink Dealers
Given Chance to Get Licenses I'm
der Prohibition Law.

Druggists and dealers in soft drinks
in this city and section are hastemng
to comply with the new prohibition
law, which requires them to procure
licenses from the circuit court, in
order to be able to sell certain al
coholic products or any form OF SOFT
drink, There is no charge for the IL
cense, but in the case of druggists
a thirty days notice posted on the
front door and publication for three
weeks in a newspaper is required, the
notice to state the time when appll-
cation for license will be }aade. In
the case Of those who sell soft drinks
only the law apparently does not re-
ouire such notice, but many soft
drink dealers, to be on the safe slde'
have given notice of application.
AS few if any druggists In TINS
mart of Virginia have given it before
the prohibition law goes into erect,
IN Noven her /, Judge Thornton OF
rho Circuit Court Of Alexandra, has
let it be known that ne Will waive
notice in the case of those making
application at once.
In Alexandria county he VIII re-
ceive applications up to Friday OF
next week. and in Fairfax county he
will receive applications at falr1aA
on Monday. October 30. In Alexan-
dria city the notices being prlnteo
state that applications will be made
on November 20.
1t should be understood that on and
after November l. no soft drinks
can be sold except by charitable ben
avolent organizations without procur-
ing a license, under heavy penalty.
The license costs nothing, but 1t
must be procured in order 70 do busi-
ness lawfully. In addition druggists
must have a separate license 'ouy
or sell whisky, wine, brandy, gram
alcohol, and other forms of alcohol
eorrnedic;nal, mechanical or sacramen-
tai purposes only These spirits can
10 bought only upon physicians
prescription or an affidavit by the
purchaser. each of which will cost
FIVE cent stamp.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
LAST NIGHT OF BAZAAR
Mystic Shrine of Washington to
Bring Arab Patrol and Band =,

Last night was gala night at the
Masonic bazaar, Columbia and Poto-
mac Commandcries. Knights Temp
lar, Of Washington came over in full
force to add color ard animation to
the occasion, while the Fraternity
band, of 21 pieces. .suanIkaz music to
the delight of the assembled throng.
The bazaar will close tonight and
in order that the committee may can
vass votes in time TO announce the
result of the contest of the loving
cup, ring. and other special features,
Ill ballots must be turned in by l0:30
sharp. Almas Temple Mystic Shrine,
with its Arab Partol, of cighty-seven
and "tom-tom" hand will constitute
ne special feature. The patrol will
give an exhibition drill and perform
some of their sidc-splitting stunts.
which have made these fun-makers
famous.
Potentate Estes accompanied the
Commandery last evening, as did
Right Eminent Grand Commander
Lem Towers. Eminent Commander
Towers delivered a short address, en-
pressing the hope that both the Fair
and the cause for which it is being
held would prove not only success
ful, but glorious Masonic achieve
rnent. as he was sure it would. Po-
tantate Estes informed the commit
lee that they would bring the
"camel" with them, and turn him
loose this evening, to dispense the
real milk of the desert, and those who
fail to he present and witness the es-
capades of this animal will forfeit
rare chance, which will probably
not be offered them again in long
time.
The Shriners will leave the train al
Patrick street and march down King
headed by their unique musical or
ganiZation. while the Lambskin band
will greet them at Armory Hall with
burst Of real music and the fur
| will begin.
Columbia drill team gave fine eX
hibition drill last night under com,
riand of Captain Shackelford, which
was much enjoyed.
Great interest is manifested in tht
various contests. in several of which
the candidates are running neck-and
neck.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
HICCOUGHS KILL ATHLETE.
Daniel Raley, Former Baseball Player
Dies in Cumberland.

Cumberland, Md, Oct. 2l-- Hlc-
coughs were responsible for the death
of Daniel Raley, 81 years old, a form
err baseball player, at the Western
MARYLAND Hospital, here Thursday,
He was stricken Friday afternoon
and the hiccoughs continued without
interruption until Monday when he
became unconscious. He is survived
by his parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Albert
Raley, Ellerslie, Nd. and his widow,
and five children Of Bloomington,
Garrett county.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
HUNTERS, TAKE NOTICE
Points in the New Virginia Game
Law Which Should be Remembers
by All.

AS the hunting season opens NO
vember /, and closes December 3l' IL
is well to call the attention OF Al
exandria nimrods to a few points IN
the new game law, which may not be
altogether plain.
First, any man who hunts beyond
his or his neighbor's property (Whlch
must touch his at some point) must
have a license. This includes the hunt
ing cf squirrels and night hunt
ing also.
Second, if any property is posted
saying written permission must be
obtained before hunting will be al
lowed, then all who hunt there must
have written permission, and carry
it and the license with them. If not
posted verbal permission must be OBJ
tanned.
Third, all non-residents who do
not own property in the State, must
first obtain a license. Any non-resi-
dent who owns property in the State
will have the same privilege as a
resident.
Fourth, no license is transferable.
Fifth, all persons found hunting on
Sunday will be fined not less than
SIS nor more than $50, including costs.
An alien may obtain license by
paying $50. A nonresident $40 and
a resident may obtain a State license
by paying So, or acounty license by
paying 81. A license may be obtain
ed by making application to F. W.
Richardson, Fairfax, Va.
Everyone who is interested i'll
hunting should become familiar with
the new game laws, a copy Of which
may be obtained from John s. Par
sons, Richmond, Va, so that there
may be no violations Of the game
laws, as there will be wardens and
ex-officio wardens all over the county,
who will see that the law is inforced
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1916-10-21
COUNTY TEACHERS
Changes at Several of the Schools
in That District

Ill 1HAI Dl5tI lCl
A number Of teachers come into
the schools of Alexandria County
with the opening of the new school
wear; also several have been trans
ferred from one school to another.
The changes by schools are as fol-
lows:
Mt. Vernon (Potomac), Eighth
grade, Miss Josephine Wayts, daugh-
ter cf Rev. Willis Wayts, pastor of
Del Ray Baptist Church. She is a
graduate of Farmville Normal. Sey-
enth grade, Miss Ina NJ. Hall, of
Lynhams, Va, a graduate of Black
istone Institute, DR.. James Cannon S
school. She has been teaching sew
eral years. Fourth grade, Miss Will
lie Harris, recently living with re-
latives at Chevy Chase, Nd, a Farm
vile graduate. Third grade, Miss
Nav Trundell, of Loudoun County, a
Washington normal graduate. She
is a granddaughter of the former
superintendent of Loudoun schools.
Second grade, Miss Lyle West, OF
Louisa, a Farmville graduate, and
Miss Mabel Henderson, of AleXan-
dria graduate of Harrisonbura
Normal.
Ft. Myer Heights-Miss Heller
Walcott, of Westmoreland County, {
Washington Normal graduate, wht
has been teaching in Fairfax Coun
ty. Miss Abbott.
Clarendon-Miss Catherine Nun
son. of Falls Church, daughter OF
| DR.. Reginald Munson, a Washing
ton Normal graduate. Transferred
10 this school are Miss Gladys Alb
bott, who taught last year at Ft,
Myer Heights and Miss Grace Cros
we'll from Bancroft.
Rallston Miss Inez Tetingale, O
Washington, graduate of the Nor
NAL there with one or two years
experience.
Barcroft-Miss Edna Walker.
Cherrydale-Miss Eugenia Tod
hunter, Washington resident ano
Normal graduate. Miss Pauline D
Rrodes, Washington resident and
Normal graduate. Miss Helen us
sell, transferred from Carne schoo
! where she had taught two years.
! Carne-Miss Ethel Brockman, O
Washington, a Normal graduate
there.
| Kemper, colored-Miss Julia u
! Smith, graduate of the Virginia Nor
NAL for colored.