The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1916-03-30

Several years ago my hair be
gan to fall out. You of the baldhead
ed legion know what tragedy, VIVA
pathos, what anxious moments Of
scrutinizing the barren spots on youl
head are contained in these few words
Softly, gently, like the leaves in au-
tumn, my hair began to fall.
To see my pride and joy leaving
caused me much mental anguish. 1t
was like having your pet pup bite
you. Each morning as | combed my
treacherous locks / anXiously search
ed in the mirror for the first signs
of approaching badness.
Ever since | recited the piece on
"The Bald Headed Man" have had
horror of being subjected to the grins
of the mob as ] sat in the theater
with glistening dome. Il having
the glistening dome, not the theater.)
Now / began to read advertise
ments of various preparations guar
anteed to grow hair on any kind of
a head, from bonehead up.
Someone had told me that whisky
and salt rubbed into the scalp would
stop falling hair Immediately. This
seemed like rather a ruthless waste
of whisky, but as was not living in
a dry territory | decided to try it.
Every night the mixture was rubbed
into my scalp, and the next morning
! would have to stop brushing my
cherished locks for fear of being
strangled by the hairs that got into
my mouth. ceased using the whisky
and salt connection.
Not long after the failure of this
homely remedy | went into a barber
shop and confided my troubles to
the baldheaded barber. He plunged
into long and eloquent eulogy of
the hair growing qualities of Ritch's
tonic.
After listening intently while he
held bottle temptingiy before me
and let the sun shine on its pink {
contents ] told him to go ahead. He
applied vigorously, joyously, man |
fully, and it was only AFTER | had in S
quired tactfully whether it was neces- '
sary to remove ones scalp to make n
the lotion take effect that he ceased |
his operations and reluctantly watch v
ed me climb from the chair a
| believed that by morning, taking
the BARRIERS testimony at its face c
value, my hair would be SO thick that S
j could groom it with curry comb. il
But Mr.. Ritch's infallible remedy St
seemed to stimulate the decrease in a
stead of the growth of hair. n
Then the barber advised clipping, I;
but the clipping process was not a a
great success, either. One of the
books in my rapidly growing tonsorial hi
library had said that badness was IL
caused by wearing hats. 1t contain m
ed many Illuminating illustrations 10
showing how tight bands around ones Fl
temples cut off the supply of blood as
which nourished the ROOFS or the hair. ed
Abandoning my hat gave all the town C;
comedians and office wits a chance m
o show their humor and their origi- so
lality. They asked me many ques- M
ions, such as where did | lose my ri
lat and did / want to borrow a dol an
ar to buy a new hat. to
By this time my bathroom was lit
cred with scalp remedies till it so
ooked like a chemists laboratory. as
'arbers began taking a deep personal SO
interest in me. They knew | was pc
leat and bread for them. One of in,
ne last to cooperate with me in the
of my tonsorial decora- SIN
on shook his head knowingly as he tn;
an his comb through the struggling be
inks on my head. BILE
Il have the very thing" he said Tn
"It's mango cure. The the
srasite that causes mango in dog soc
similar to the one that causes SIN
'ndruff. And dandruff causes the tai
iir to come out"
DO your worst" l said resignedly.
am willing to try anything"
So he hauled out bottle of black Tai
luid and smeared it on my head.
ION the odor of tar permeated the Y
hole barber shop. -
us Blackman painting his roof "v,
,ain ?" asked.
lad