The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1916-04-11
A DEFECTIVE
WARRANT
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1916, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
By NJ. QUAD

enough to make garden and raise
the most of his vegetables. 1t Is a
custom that may have descended from
the pilgrim fathers that when the
crop IS bountiful and there are cucum-
beers and tomatoes to waste to invite
the neighbors less fortunate to open
the gate and help themselves. This
custom had prevailed in the village OF
tKernstown for many long years. There
WAS one exception to It, however, and
that was the case of Elder Wickshaw
and his wife He had been elder of
church since church had been estab-
lished In the place. and he bad long
been known for his stinginess.
The elders wife would have been
open handed with the neighbors. but
her husband had said to her:
IF we have got any neighbors who
haven't cowcumbers, onions and toma-
toes In plenty it is due to their shift
Iessness and they shan't have any of
ours
but they are going to waste" would
reply the wife.
the soil for another season. Even IL
they won't | am not going to encour-
age shiftlessness in anybody"
/ Among those whom he denominated
as shiftle3s was Solomon Graves. He
wasn't exactly lazy, but yet he might
have had more energy. He had small
garden. hut 1t was hostile soil. lie
passed md repassed the elders house
many, many times, and always stop
ped and looked over the fence, but the
elder never came out and invited him
to help himself. At length. when Solo
mon saw that things were going to
waste. he determined to help himself
without the invitation.
In walking In the garden at sunset
one evening the elder particularly no
ticed six large cucumbers on a certain
vine. He walked out again soon after
sunrise and there were no cucumbers
there. In place of them, in the soft
soil, were the tracks of the villain who
had visited the spot during the night
and despoiled the vine. He FASTENED
into the house to say to his wife:
! Marian, there is an unhung villain
in Kernstown."
"Good graciousr she exclaimed. with
a start of surprise
And that unhung villain entered our
garden during the night and picked
and carried away six of our choicest
cowcumbers"
And after hasty breakfast the elder
took the trail so plain in the soil and
followed it over the fence into the alley
and from there to the house of Solo
mon Graves, quarter of a mile away.
IN ten minutes more he was at the
house of the justice of the peace for
the village, one Hiram Brown, before
whom two lawsuits had been tried In
about eight years. He felt all the dig.
nifty, however, of his official position
and was not to be gainsaid as to legal
points.
!, Judge" said the elder as he entered
In haste, Solomon Graves has stolen
six cowcumbers from my garden ]
want a warrant for his arrest, and ]
want him sent to Jail before sundown.' y
When the warrant had been filled out
his honor handed it over to the elder to
read, and it was but moment before
the latter exclaimed:
Here, judge; this won't do. l told
you Solomon Graves had stolen six
cowcumbers out of my garden"
But the warrant says so.'
You haven't got the cowcumbers in at
all. What you have got is 'kucumbers,
when it should be cowcumbers. You
can't hold Sol on warrant like that"
Look here, elder" said the judge as
he rose up and puffed out his bosom
t'have you come here to teach me how
to spell or to get warrant for Solo
mon Graves?"
"But you probably made slip of the
pen" lamely explained the man who
wanted justice.
There are no slips In my law, sir"
N"But they are cowcumbers.
Il never heard of such things. As
for kucumbers, l have a hundred in
my own garden. That warrant will
send Sol to the county jail as fast as q
horse can gallop. l want no man to
come here thinking he can teach me
my business
The schoolma'am was finally called
in to settle the question of spelling
The wondering teacher came, and
when the case had been stated to bel
she hesitated a moment and then said
Il can decide the question at issue
and | hope neither of you will bear me
any hard feelings for so doing. You
are both OF you wrong. The name OF
the vegetable you are disputing about
is 'cooeumber.' and you pronounce the
COO softly
I'm be burned If I dor shouted his
honor
And III be burned in the same
way.' shouted the elder, making use
of a swear word for the first time In
thirty years.
In few hours the whole village
heard of the dispute and was spill
into factions. There were the COWS
and the 'kus" and the "coos." and there
was a row that didn't quiet down for 6
year or more. More than fifty pocket
dictionaries were sent for and consult
ed. and although they settled the pro
nunciation for some. others continued
TO hang out and are hanging out still
But perhaps the main point of the
whole affair was that Solomon Graves