Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-05-06

Our jitney BUSES are still running,
they having had their earmuffs on
| when the st. utilities com. ruled that
| they had to quit bus. Those liking
lot for their money with thrill
thrown in for good measure continue
though they had come to stay in our
midst in one way or another.
c. Gaetjer, who knows more about
posies and ducks and grass than any
body in these PTS, RECALLED We ed with
one of his latest pics. this wk., same
being accompanied with the an
nouncement that the original hopes to
have aforesaid pic. printed in the not
distant future in the blue book of our
legislature at Springfield, Ill. In 9TH
er words, our pop. park com. has fol-
lowed Roosevelt, Root. Fairbanks, ct
al, and SHE'D his sombrero into the
circle and become can. from these
parts for the Ill. gen. assem-. Ye ed
has been smoking cigars on Christian
for 10 these many yrs. and his only
regret is that he can't do as much for
him as he would like to.
| Kaiser Bills ans. to Pres. Wilson
on the sub. did not occasion any sur
prise in our midst. The only COM
plant we have heard is that it was 100
long. The same message could have
been conveyed in three wds.
W. Wilson, who has been pres. of
the U. S. A. since W. Taft's term ex-
PRED, has been trying all fired hard
to drop in on US next mo. to see where
| the family of B. Hawk played pin
nochle a hundred years ago, but he
finds that he'll not be able to make
the trip, having Villa and some
crowned heads over the Atlantic to
look after, together with seeing the
White house lawn is kept moved, ETC.
The home team will be in the cap
also during the week of the opening
of our centennial, SO his presence
here is out of the question. AS sub.
for his personal visit the pres. will
touch button in the White house that
will start the proceedings at the arse
nal June 10, for which favor he will
have our esteemed thanks.
Our crop of dandelions is the ,largest
we have had in number of yrs. Most
of our lawns are decorated with same,
with the result that numbers of our
men are complaining Of spinal aches.
Report that c. Chaplin is headed
this way with his bull has created
much excitement in our town. Our
cts. are warned not to carry red hand
kerchiefs exposed.
All our husbands are glad to hear
that Flo Peet is coming to town next
wk. to tell their wives how to cook
more economically.
Our grand jury reports that rats are
holding high carnival in our co. Jail
An old subscriber allows that said ro-
dents are celebrating the action of the
supreme court, same insuring them an
other VI. or more in their old home
before they are disturbed.
Many of our cts have been return
ing home SO early nights the past wk
that they have been talked about by
their neighbors. Which proves that
it does not pay to try to regulate your
life to meet the favor of your neigh
borA
GLADYS Giggal and Alma Happy
MARBLE in the choir of the Central
Presbyterian church in Denver.
Phil Miller, our vet. chief of police,
serves notice on us that all of the local
critics interviewed on the Shake
speare-Bacon controversy were wrong
The chief says that all of the writings
claimed for Shakespeare and Bacon
were from the pen of Lydia Pinkham
although she would never make any
such admission.
! The Father of Waters has been rails
ing ned hereabout of late. cutting
capers hardly to be expected from such
an old fellow.
Ye ed received some flower seeds
from Washington. our nat cap, but
they refused to grow. We suspect
repub. conspiracy.
| Winter underwear was seen flying
from wash lines in all parts of our
town during the wk. This is sure
sign that spring has arrived
There were many complaints against
the weather in the early part of the
week. chiefly from b. b. fans.
Our churches will all be open tomor-
row, as per usual. Ye ed can recon-
mend them all as safe places to visit
J. N. Z.