davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
EXPECTATION A
By Steele.

The wild havoc affectation makes in that part of the world which should be most polite is visible wherever we turn our eyes; it pushes men not only into impertinences in conversation, but also in their premeditated speeches. At the bar it torments the bench, whose busi- ness it is to cut off all opportunities in what is spoken before it by the practi- tioner; as we'll as several little pieces of injustice which arise from the law it. self. have seen it make man run from the purpose before a judge who was, when at the bar himself, so close and logical pleader that, with all the pomp of eloauer~s1 1ia. his power, he never spoke word too much.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
MIR. HARDING's ADVICE l the Tuscaloosa News

From the Tuscaloosa News.
 Warning the southern farmers against an over production of cotton in 1916 and urging upon them diversified farming with moderate crop of cotton, MT. w. P. G. Harding, member of the federal reserve board, in an address delivered in Bir- mingham, gave advice that should be taken to heart by every farmer in the cotton belt.
 According to MT. Harding, there is still on hand from the 1915 crop 1850, GOO bales, enough to last for sometime. And whether or not the war in Europe ends soon, there is no reason to believe that the demand for cotton in the immediate future will be large For so long as the war lasts, it is impossible to export cot ton to any countries except neutrals and the members of the entente; and if the war should close, the world would be so poor that it would not demand the nor nal amount of the staple.
 Most of the farmers of Tuscaloosa county have already graspeG the present situation and are not going to plant a large acreage. It is to be hoped that the farmers of the entire cotton belt will realize the importance of MT. Ha.ding's advice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
PROVIDING FOR 1000, ,ooo MEN


 What does an army of million mean? One million men marching four abreast would extend over a line 400 miles long, practically from Kansas City to the Co., orado border. Some of the things that these million men must be provided with before they can fight are:
 Seven hundred and fifty thousand rifles and bayonets for them to fight with.
 Two hundred and sixty-five thousand pistols, little brothers of the rifle.
 Eight thousand machine guns, the mili- tary scythe.
 Twenty-one hundred field guns to batter down attack.
 One hundred and sixty-five million car- tridges to carry them into their first fight and as many more for each suc- ceeding fight.
 Two million five hundred thousand shells and shrapnel for our field guns for every hour they are in action.
 One hundred and ninety-six thousand carriages.
 One hundred and twenty-seven thousand mules to haul their supplies and pack their guns.
 Eight thousand wagons to transport their supplies and ammunition
 One million cartridge belts for their ammunition.
 One million first aid packets to bind up their wounds.
 One million ponchos to keep them dry. One million canteens.
 Each of them must have uniform and equipment:
 One million shelter halves to protect them from the weather.
 Two million blankets to keep them warm.. Two million pairs of shoes.
 Two million uniform coats, brooches, leggings, suits of underwear.
 One million hats.
 Two million shirts.
 Four million pairs of socks.
 One million haversacks.
 Finally they must eat:
 One million pounds of meat each day. One million pounds of bread each day. Two million pounds of vegetables each day.
  day.
 All this must be purchased, trans ported, prepared, and cooked each day, and to eat it, they must have:
 One million cups. One million plates.
 One million knives.
 One million forks.
 One million spoons.
 To provide for proper care, training, and leading in battle they should have: Twenty-Five thousand trained officers. The calling into service of one million men would mean the organization, equip ping and training of 10 armies the size of the complete regular army of the present time. If one millio nmen should apply at the recruiting offices it would require the uninterrupted effort of 1000 recruiting parties working day and night for more than 10 days to enroll and enlist them. It would require a week to move them to the camps, provided all the suitable railroad equipment of the country were given over to this work alone.
 One thousand men would have to work day and night for 10 days to erect the tents for them, and when completed this camp would amount to city of more than 423,000 tents, covering an area of more than 5000 acres. an area equal to the size of St. Joseph.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
IF THEY TOLD THE TRUTH

FTOm LIIe.
 going to break loose and see if can cure myself of being tired of looking at you"
 Good night! Next time you ask me to such poor dinner, put me alongside of somebody who is at least half witted."
 There is absolutely nothing the matter with you, madam, except pure laziness; but just to maintain appearances and give myself an excuse to call again, I'll write out couple of prescriptions and charge you $5.''
 'I can't begin to tell you how little I enjoyed your voice; I don't think I ever heard a worse one."
 Darling, life without you would not be worth living-say, for about couple of years.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord, help mo to study how Christ would act toxxrrd the servant who is in my house, Then help me to show the same spirit of consideration anu belpfulncss. Remind me that He took upou Himself the form of ser want. and that l also am enGaSeu to serve. In His name. Amen'-H' M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
ASKING roo MUCH

From the Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
 The Houston Post says: "Hobson h going to try to get back into Congress. and we hope he will look like a snow man when the voters get through with him." Not even a billed" shirt and . powder rag can make him that inn maculate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
As to Next Cotton Crop

q am told that Alabama will plant less cotton this year than at any time since the war; this because of the ravages of the boil weevil last year, but understand that the Texas planting will be large as large as it was last year-in spite of the advice of the bankers to keep down the acreage" said H. F. Marston of St.. Louis
 T was in Texas two weeks ago and was told there that many of the farmers were intending to increase their cotton acreage
 'I am not engaged In the cotton trade, but am connected with a concern that does a large southern business and indi- rectly. if not directly, we are affected by the cotton situation.
 'I learn that Mississippi will reduce it's cotton acreage somewhat, but that Geor- gia will plant as much this year as last.
 Southern bankers and business men generally should exert their influence now more than ever with the cotton farmer and induce him if possible to raise more foodstuffs and very little of the fleecy staple for the next year or two. 50 as to give prices a chance.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
understand you gay
NORTHWESTERN.

What is meant by honesty in poli- tics'?" asked the seeker after useless knowledge!
 Honesty in politics 2" unused the cyn- ical man. Hum. I should say the term is used only in humorous sense, as semi-nude dancer or the loquacity of clam."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

The sale of peanuts has been prohib- tied in Atlanta theatres. Atlanta people ought to know that cracking peanuts while grand opera is being presented gets on the nerves of the artists.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
SAFE BET

From the Chattanooga Times.
 One Yale professor has secured prob ably much desired publicity by the as- sertion that the value of baby is $90. Now, wagers are two to one that he has no baby of his own; or if he has any, he is not ready to dispose of any of them at the value named.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
Appealing to Tourist Travel

"In our efforts to induce tourists to and from Florida to stop over in Bir- mingham, we have the assistance and encouragement of the hotelkeepers in the Peninsular state as well as the railroads" said w. Blanks Everett, as- sistant secretary of the Chamber of Commerce, who has just returned from a tour of the Florida resorts. We are not in any way competing with the Florida hotels. We are simply trying to get the tourists to stop over here on their way to Florida in the fall and on their return home in the spring.
 'The advantages of having these peo- pie visit Birmingham cannot be over estimated. Not only are they all liberal spenders of money, but they are ire quently prospective investors. Birming- ham has the advantages and we can make every one of these tourists go back to his home a booster for the city and the district.
 "We found that they were all great ly interested in the proposition We made them, and MT. Shireman and are certain that we will recieve great bene- fits from the work. During the week we distributed 10000 pieces of illustrated literature about Birmingham and the district, and we had calls from the rail- roads and hotels that we could not sur- ply. The tourists were especially in- terested when they learned that we had ample hotel accommodations, and a sist upon playing golf all the time and we assured them that Birmingham had some fine courses. It is now planned to continue this work and possibly make a tour of the north and east at an early date to interest wealthy tourists in this city"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
SIMPLY A FAUX PAS

From the New York World.
 Of course, Curly Joe Cassidy's friends, at the banquet in his honor. meant noth- ing personal by singing "Old Black Joe"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Ten Villa generals in command of 1CO troops recently made raid on a Mexi- can town. But general in Central America would almost explode with inn portance if he commanded as many as 10 soldiers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
WHEN HE'S DANGEROUS

From the Nashville Banner.
 A lot of newspapers that considered MT. Bryan as of no consequence as a mem- Der of the cabinet record with apprehen- sion the fact that he Is back in Wash ington as a private citizen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
HOTEL LOBBIES
More Grain and Hogs

The farmers in my section are busy with their spring work preparatory to an early planting" said John J. Dun lap, postmaster of Eutaw, who spent yesterday in Birmingham.
 Last year the boil weevil was ruin- ous to the cotton in the black belt coun- ties and the acreage this year will be greatly reduced
 Many of our farmers will eliminate cotton altogether. They are diversity ing more than ever. In the Eutaw neighborhood there will be an in- creased acreage in corn and great at tention is being given to the raising of live stock. The number of hogs will be considerably increased this year and all in all the farmers are looking for ward to most prosperous year"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

The Los Angeles wife of Villa was re- ported to be prostrated. wife who doesn't know exactly what her status is, or what number she is in a matrimonial series, should have more fortitude.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

collection was taken up recently at Palm Beach and several 5000 bills were contributed. A man with only a few hun dred dollars in his pocket must feel like a pauper at Palm Beach.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

The President is cheered in moving pictures nowadays Villa has al last sue ceeded in stirring up some patriotism among movie fans.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

The United States should take precious good care to see that Carranza has no opportunity or excuse to send his troops across the American border.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
A WASTE OF TIME.

You say this naturalist has spent many years studying the monkey language?"
 "Yes. I understand he can almost con- verse with them"
 Well. we'll"
 You don't seem much impressed"
 "To tell the truth. I'm not. I don't see what a monkey could say to a human being that would be worth listening to-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Vice President Marshall is 62 years old and feels that he could stand the wear and tear of a second term
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
MERE NOISE.

How did the speaker begin?'
 "Oh, he cleared his throat adjusted his cuffs and with one hand brushed the hair back from bis brow. His arguments were sound''
 T don't doubt it in the least As rule when man begins a speech that way his arguments are nothing but sound,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

These spring days and balmy evenings suggest the approach of Easter, but that feast day is more than month off
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
AND IT'S STILL PASSING

From the St. Louis Globe Democrat.
 Nearly 12 months talk of the Lusitania has passed over our heads-very much over our heads.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Let us stop criticizing England for a while until we see how many blunders we make in trying to capture Villa.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Congress is strongly averse to working at night. Even a congressman seems to think himself entitled to a little recrea- tion in the theatres and cabarets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Seymour Eaton, the man who invented the Teddy bear, is dead. That's some thing we wouldn't care to have go on our tombstone.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
A PRUDENT MAN.

T do not dread the thought of war;
 Said Abner Jimpson Clary, T won't go where the bullets are
 I'll be a commissary."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Occasionally you will find a person who is not particularly interested in the story of MT. and Mrs. Castles rise to fame
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

If the Lord favored the Kaiser as much as that gentleman seems to believe, Yer dun would have fallen long ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Alabama farmers are growing alfalfa as never before, and it isn't on their chins, either
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

No communication will be published without it's authors name. ReJecten manuscript will not be returned uh- less stamps are enclosed for that pur~ pose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Miss Bessie Shaw and w. D. Brum- beloe are the only authorized travel ing representatives ot The ASe-f1er~ ala in It's circulation department. 4he Age Herald Is not reSponSlpLe lVr muuey paid to ouI-of-town carriers UT dealers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
RIGHT UP-TO-DATE.

EIGIII UP-TO-DATE. What are you playing Bobby?" Indians, father." But you are not wearing Indian cos tunes. I see no tomahawks. I hear no war whoops."
 "Shucks! We're college Indians, father. We're putting on problem play"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
WHAT ABOUT THE UMBRELLA.

President Wilson ''watchfully waited'' too long, but we all make mistakes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age-Herald Wili not be responsible for money sent through the malls. Address
 THE AGE
 Birnaingham Ala
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
LACKS INITIATIVE.

"Im afraid not answered MT. Cob bles.
 q understand you gave him good start"
 "So I did, but he expects me to stay behind him all the time and keep push ing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
General Funston the Right Man

''Major-General Frederick Funston is the right man for directing the punitive expedition proceeding to Mexico in pur- suit of Villa and his band" said c. C. Rand of Chicago.
 T served in the Twentieth Kansas in- fantry under him and have always taken deep interest in all his exploits Gen. eral Funston is an accomplished gentle man and great soldier. He started out to make botany his profession. He worked for time as reporter. but the military life seems to suit him best
 General Funston distinguished himself hy capturing Aguinaldo, and 1t will doubtless be his luck to bring about the capture of Villa"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Daily and Sunday Age-I1erald. year so'JV Iailr -,.lthout sunday. y........ 4.VU
 Daily and sunday, per mohth.. 'oV Daily ana Sunday. three mohths'' l.oV MeeKly Age-Heral4l, per annum.. .eO Sunday Age-AeraId, per annum.. S.OV
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Washington bureau, POT Hibbs build ing.
 European bureau, 6 Henrietta street. Covent Garden, London.
 Eastern business office, Rooms, AS 10 50. inclusive, Tribune building, New York city; western business o1Ilce' Tribune building, Chicago. The ;. '. Beckwith Special Agency. agents TOT eign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15

Entered al the Birmingham. Ala, nostofftce as second class matter un- der act of Congress March ,. 1873.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
Great Future for the College

''The work is progressing satisfactorily on Science hall, a new building at Bir- minghsm colege,' said the Rev. J. B. and endowment fund. 'Tt was our plan to erect first the administration build ing, costing s1OO,000, and which. of course. was to be the center of the whole scheme. But because of the financial depression last year the trustees decided to erect one of the secondary buildings now
 This science building is to cost, fur nished, somewhere about 1000. It is but the first of some 20 secondary buildings that the building scheme calls for, to be erected from time to time, as our needs may arise and the necessary funds are secured. We believe 1t Is better where there is sufficient ground space to have a number of smaller buildings than just a few very large ones. The following description will give a pretty good idea of this building:
 Size 100 by 50 feet. Three stories. with a total of 2 rooms and a large fireproof vault.
 Tt is to be of most modern construc- tion of hollow tile, fireproof walls, faced with dark red brick, and trimmed with Alabama limestone. The SIX stone columns and stone balustrade will give a dignified and imposing entrance to the classic facade.
 "The corridor floors are of reinforced concrete, covered with tile, and the steel stairways have tile treads and landings
 'The plumbing is of the highest grade, most sanitary equipment and includes a complete system of water and gas in- stallaticn for the chemical and biological laboratories.
 "The electric wiring is to be in wrought conduit of the best fireproof type. In | cluded in this wiring is an installation of an electric clock system for uniform time throughout all the classrooms. "The heating plant is a vapor-vacuum steam system, which in the future can be connected to the mains from a cen tral power and heating plant.
 This building is to be located in the northeast corner of the main quadrangle according to the general group plan pre- pared by William T. Warren. architect and William H. Kessler. landscape archi. , tect.
 l we are preparing to lay the corner stone in April with Masonic ceremonies
 Grand Master Harris of Tuscaloosa hay ing already appointed Dr. R. M. Cunning
 ham of Birmingham to preside on that
 occasicn At that time we expect to in vite our friends in the city to come out and see what . magnificent campus WI
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-03-15
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
CATS KEEP DRY.

Some people seem to think the cat Is not a worthy pet; Which may be true, but as for that, It never does, if wet, Shake flying drops on costly gowns And brand-new trousers, too, And then ignore your angry frowns, As many canines do.
 DOUBTFUL RECEPTION. "So you once met the king of canni- bal island on your travels?"
 "Yes,' replied the fat man.
 Did you enjoy the experience?" 'I can't say that I did. He seemed to like me, but I didn't know whether that was due to a friendly interest or was merely the manifestation of a debased ap- petite.''
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1916-07-21

town to run for state senator, as the
town has not had one for many wears.
There will be a concert and dance
IN the town hall next Thursday even
ing, July -, with music by the five
piece Casino orchestra of Worcester.
Mass. This is novelty and singing
combination and appears here under
the auspices Of Harold c. Holland.
Mrs. Ralph Metcalf entertained the
Busy Bee club Friday afternoon. 4
pleasing feature was the bird talk il
Illustrated by most of the common birds
and some very rare ones. Mrs Met
calf fed the birds all last winter and
many varieties were seen about her
home. More have nestled there than
usual this summer
Interest in the town league baseball
games is very keen, owing to the close
ness of the race. The games Saturday
will probably be the hardest fought vet
The Athletics are weakened by the loss
of their captain and catcher, Walter
Brooks, and the Braves by the loss of
their first baseman, Harold Weeks, both
of whom have injured hands
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1916-07-21
NORTHFIELD. MASS

Miss Margaret Campbell is home for
the summer.
Principal c. L. Dickerson has a new
automobile, an Oldsmobilc.
John Edgell of Brooklyn is guest of
his aunt, Mrs. Annie Campbell.
Miss Margaret Thomas of Boston is a
guest of the Misses Hamilton.
Frank Otte is in training at the mil
ltary camp at Plattsburg, n. Y.
Mrs. Fox of Albany is a guest of
Miss Betty and Miss Adrianna Otte.
Richard b. Smith spent the weekend
with his mother, Mrs. \. Fay Smith.
Mrs. S. T. Park of Springfield spent
Friday with her sister, Mrs E. w.
Cowlcs.
Lincoln Z. Hammond has moved his
family to the Ralph Stone farm, which
he recently bought.
Mrs. Louis Davis was called to Put
ney, Vt, Saturday by the death Of her
mother, Mrs Richards.
Mrs Fred jackson and daughter,
Ethel, of Springfield are guests of Mr..
and Mrs j. l.. Hammond.
MRS. James Delaney and daughter,
Gertrude, have returned to Orange, af-
ter visiting here several weeks.
Miss Eva Whitman has returned to
Beverly, after visiting several weeks
with Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Whitman.
Miss Mary Dalton, Miss Bessie and
Miss Ruth Moore have attended the con
vention for rural teachers in Amherst
the past week.
Mrs. Ruth Mclean Robinson and Mr..
Robinson of Jamaica, VT, came by au-
tomobile for the week lend with her
mother, Mrs. Henry Mclean.
Mrs j. 2. Sprague of Hinsdale spent
last week with her daughter, Mrs. L.
II. Lazclle. On Sunday her son, James
Sprague of Hinsdale, visited her
Mrs W. R. Moody and Miss Mary