Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1916-10-28
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
Single Track Minds.

What IS he 2 asked f1nnegan- sure
at Injainnypoles he said he was full
of Annymated Concerv'tism. Fwhat's
that We say? tbs the turn-table on
the wan thrack mind 1t kapes spin
min round and round an divil a man
can tell fwhat switch it viii pick up
1t dinnau itself. So We dinnau where
to lay for it.
Twas so wild the arrumed freight
ships They're not warships.' he says,
'onless l change me mind he says.
which 1 have he says, AN annywan
who says so is a liar he says, but I
refuse TO discuss it, he says I'll
pass the buck TO Congress- he
says. 'on'y 1 won't he says, for It's
no business of theirs he says, though
they must vote on the resolution he
says. to show where they stand he
says, 'Hince yen lay it on the table,
he says, AN thin they can't vote
says Wudthrow to Stone.
"'I-I-thought 1 seen a fallacy,'-
says Stone. timid like, but the Great
Idaylist brung down his fisht wild
t'ump.
Table the resolution says he,-an'
away goes Stone.
"'Fwhat does this meanr axes the
Sinit.
'Gintlemen,' says Stone, weepin'
bitterly, 'Ye can frisk me- But thim's
the ORDERS says Stone, AN if amy
man ivir knew fwhat it meant he's
KEEP quiet about it.
$50 wild the fightin' wurd We're
too proud to fight says this turrible
man to a bunch iv just-overs at Phila-
dephy. aw-Haw-Haw,' says the
wurld Ga laugh gets his goat, Jawn).
I was thinkin' iv somethin' 1 didn't
say yells Wudthrow. 'Haw-Haw-
Haw,' says the wurld, laughin' to split.
BE this an be that Too Proud to
Fight has made the reppytashun iv
Wudthrow. tbs like the Monroe Doc
trine to Monroe or Emanshipashun to
Lincoln. Twas TRANSLATED into ivry
tongue. tbs better known than the
twenty-third psalm, or the famous or
alton iv the Guv-nor iv North Carliny.
If an Ashtantee poked another in the
eye, he's give him the coon FIR Are Ye
Too Proud to Fight?' an they'd both
laugh befure they wint to the fiure.
ALI the recruitin' signs abroad had it
an the shame wud bring three recruits,
where "Tipperary' or rum wud bring
wan. oh, won't We PLACE stop laugh
IMP says Wudthrow, but they laughed
the more. So he sinds Jim Ham Lew
is to explain. He's called Ham by rea-
son he's so fond of pork.
Three thousand years agone,' says
Jim Ham, 'or maybe less says he, an
ould Dago said Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry Cor the like o. that, Jawn. 1t
means not to have a chip on yer
shoulder). Non Dinny Carey win
Kerry says Jim Ham, AN julius Say
zer,' says he, AN Tolmy Philadelphy,'
says he, AN the Earl iv Cheatem,'
says Jim, AN William Hatch Seward,
says Ham, am a lot more / forget,
says Ham, who felt the same way
says Jim, although he says, they
nivir said so,' says Jim Ham to the
Sinit
Now says he, how, 1 axe We, cud
the Prisidint know that the cultivated
Christian aujience,' he says, fv immy-
grants says he, 'wud fail to grasp the
nooance,' says Jim Ham An Jawn,
they shut the dures the way the peo-
pie wudden't see the Sinit lose its
dignity
''Fwhats a nooance?" asked NAL
umphy.
''T'is a sort iv intellectual gold
brick replied Finnegan, slightly puz-
zled, 'be which We say fwhat We doant
name, an name wye doant say. The
nooance comes out iv it somehow.
tbs like i dinnau what. Just exactly
like it, he added after a short pause.
Il cudden't tell thin apart"
'Well," said Malumphy, 1.-The single
thrack mind gets nowhere, Tn think
In
9TH gauge is none too broad" re-
piled his friend, IAN the thraffic's
heavy" he added.