Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1916-09-16
E. D. K. s Col.
ouR JUNIOR OFFICE BOY

OUR JUNIOR OFFICe Buy
N. Y, fridy--i herd tell of good
COAX that happened in atlantic city
where the swells 60 for cacashuns
on the bord walk 4 in the ocean
where the sharks are
bunch of society fellers was sit
ting around on the porch OF a MOTEL
Ginning about the old names they
had which was dated back to the
time when they had hitching ropes
the courthouse in moo yark & when
you Good throw stone from lnde'
tendance hall in fillidelfia to the COW
pasture outside the town
There was fellers sitting neer &
when the rest got threw | OF these
fellers said, gents, think have an
older name than you have, & he
handede around his card, on which
was his name richard eve
they says by golly, your rite, but
anuther Teller spoke up & said, eve
was the End purson in the world re-
member, here is my card, and his
name was adam smith, & they says
we guess you win, but the Sd man
spoke up & said before adams time
there was a lot doing in this world
and you must not forget that when
raking up old names, now take look
at this bit of pasteboard & tell me
| if you Good DO further back than
| that
he hands around his card on which
his name was, and it read, mr.. B. Gin
ming.
that ended the discussion alrite. Il.
rite, and they woodent let mr.begn-
ming buy at all when they got to toe
| lickwid refreshment phase, the man
said who told the storey to the boss
this A. NJ.
Johnny.
CustOmer-"l want to get dog COL
lar; something handsome and SNOWY"
| Dealer-"Will this one do?"
+ Customer-'No; I'd like something
more expensive than that. You see,
it's my wife's dog, and I'd like to get
some one to steal it,"
A MARRIED MAN SELDOM GETS
THE LAST WORD, BECAUSE OF
HIS INABILITY TO REMAIN
AWAKE.
LOOK OUT!
NOTICE!
| June 1G, 1916.
People say in Grove and Bessemer
that Mrs, Rosise kress' place and it
is not true; and | wish to say, SO not
would talk any further. So if they
keep saying what is not true in they
will be in trouble and will be big
one.-Pueblo (Col.) Star-Journal
! PREPAREDNESS. NJ
Rector (going his rounds) Fine
pig that, Mr.. Dibbles; uncommonly
| fine!" --... ,y,-.-~,,-,~.
Contemplative villager-"Ah,e yes,
sir; if we was only all of us as fit
to die as him, SIR"
Doctor--"Wel, Patrick, HON are
you feeling today?'
| Pat-"Oh doctor, | feel worse than
ever"
Doctor-"What! Didn't you take
the pills | gave you?"
Pat-"Of course, but Pm not sure
If the lid has come off the box yet"
THE MAN WHO USUALLY
STARTS OUT TO LOOK FOR
TROUBLE USUALLY ENDS BY
HAVING 1T THRUST UPON HIM.
WORTH LOOKING OVER
FOR SALE-4 work horses, 8 fresh
milk cops. Call at this offce.-The
Manfui (Ore.) Times.
JUSTIFIED.
"Look here, Snip" said Slowpay
Indignantly to his tailor "you haven't
put any pockets in these trousers"
"No, Mr.. Slowpay," said the tailor
with sigh; 81 judged from your &C.
count here that you never had any.
thing to put in them"
@"Do you know where can buy any
counterfeit money!" inquired the man
with suitcase.
Are you looking for trouble?"
mo. But I'm against the tipping
evil and at the same time want to
20 through the formalities and avoid
being made uncomfortable by the
walters"
THERE ARE HIGHER THINGS IN
LIFE FOR A WOMAN THAN A
GOOD COMPLEXION-A PRETTY
BONNET, FOR INSTANCE.