The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-08-30


Her bedroom window looked out on
the garden, and the sash was raised.
Widow Armstrong" said voice
that was certainly not human, Il
am here to warn you'll
She looked out. Under the apple
tree stood a ghost It was none Of
the vapory ghosts that wave for
ward and backward over the ground,
but a solid-looking chap in white who
stood firmly on his feet.
Widow" continued the voice, be
ware of the piano tuneri He is
doomed to go mad! Beware Of the
butcher! He will. slay you as you
sleep. II you marry himI Beware of
the lightning rod man. He will get
your last dollar and then abandon
you! Beware! Beware! Beware!"
And then Mr.. Ghost retreated
noiselessly and gave the frightened
widow chance to get her breath.
All the rest of the night she lay with
her head covered up and expecting
the summons any moment and she
was happy woman when the roost-
ers began growing for daylight.
Did she rush of to tell the neigh
bors as soon as she had eaten her
breakfast? Not a bit Of 1t. II she
had told OF the ghost she must have
repeated the ghosts words. She
wasn't going to tell Of those three
offers of marriage and set other
tongues to wagging. And before noon
came she began to doubt the ghost.
She went out to the apple tree, and
she found tracks on the soil-tracks
of boots, or she didn't know tracks
when she saw them. Some one had
wrapped himself In a sheet, and
some one had held peach stone in
his mouth while he talked.
When a man tribes with a widow
he doesn't know what he is going to
get When this widow had decided
that she was being guyed by some
one she went across the street and
borrowed a shotgun to shoot cats
with, and paid boy ten cents to
load it with powder and salt and
show her how to fire 1t.
No ghost came that night or the
next. On the third day the Liverpool
druggist drove over and eased his
palpitating heart by a confession and
proposal. His tracks were hardly
cold when In came the sewing ma
chine man. He must tell her of his
love or perish. He was permitted to
tell. The fertilizer man had meant
to be first, but came In third, being
unavoidably detained by Deacon
Robinson. He also loved and had tc
tell of 1t or run the risk of an ex
plosion.
To each Of the last three the widow
returned the same answer as to the
first three. Six proposals in a week
and six men going away fairly happy
When It is figured right down, any
widow is blessing to the land.
Midnight again. The widow Arm
strong sleeps. The shotgun leans
against the WALL. The ghost comes
across the garden with noiseless feet
Cats take one brief glance and fly fol-
their lives.
Widow, am here to warn you
again! Do not marry the sewing ma
chine man!
do not marry the drug store man!
do not marry the fertilizer mani"
The widow slipped softly out Of
bed There stood the ghost under
the apple tree. He had the same
white sheet around him-same peach
stone In his mouth! She reached fol-
the old gun, and as the ghost turned tc
be swallowed up in the night. she
fred There was yell and fall
The ghost had been sailed. Boots
and legs kicked the air-the sheet
was thrown off, and the next minute
the widow was out door and bending
over a man and saying:
why - why-it's Mr.. Phillips!
Why-why-what on EARTH"
IL didn't want you TO marry
anybody but mel" he exclaimed as he
struggled to his knees.
But l didn't know you cared for
mel"
But dol"
well, come in and sit down, and
we'll see how badly you are hurt"
But cant-can't sit down."
Then come over tomorrow and
stand up and tell me you want me fol-
a wife and maybe I'll say yesl"