Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-08-10
The Bold Burglar
He Will Come Along :.
By and By
B. M. QUAD
Copyright 1915, by the Mcclure
NeWSnapar Syndica+a

ny anu Dy.
He has you on his list for CALL but
hasn't got around to it yet.
Your burglar has passed your house
many times and made good use of his
eyes while passing.
One day your house is to come on his
list, and he is ready for you or will be
at midnight, and he has patience until
the hour comes.
The bells are striking midnight-that
is, If there are any bells to strike.
You are sleeping soundly, but creak
of door or the complaint Of window
sash being raised reaches your sleep
ing ears and rouses you up. While
you rise up on your elbow to listen
your wife wakes also and asks you
what is the matter.
You would tell her If you could. All
you can reply is that you were awak-
ened by strange sounds, and it is your
opinion that there is burglar pack
ing up plumber in the rooms below.
"And what are you going to do about
it?" she asks, with gasp in her
throat.
"Kill him." you reply in bold Ian
guage.
She admires your decision, but you
are in no hurry to perform the murder
GUS feat. You know you have an au-
tomato pistol in the house, but just
where it is you can't think. You put
it in some place year or two ago and
have forgotten where.
it." says your wife eff you don't get
up shall"
You shake your finger at your wife
to keep very quiet, and you creep from
your room to the head Of the stairs.
You make no more noise than blast
in the new subway. You think you
see light in the parlor. You are not
quite sure of it, and as your wife
comes creeping along to learn if you
have killed anybody yet you ask her
opinion about it. She replies that 1t
may be light or it may not be. She
will go down and investigate and come
back and tell you.
you are no coward. ~
You have got halfway down when
You hear the clink Of knives and forks
and spoons. No cat has any use for
such implements. 1t surely is q bur
glar. AS he takes drink out Of the
bottle of your port wine you can hear
it gurgle down his throat. No cat ever
yrnf Of No
smacked her lips and uttered an "Um!"
after drinking. There is no longer any
room for doubt. The killing must go
forward. Yat
eff you are not going to kill him /
am" whispers the wife.
4 You descend another step. 1t sud
denly strikes you that the burglar may
be the father of seven or eight chill
dren and that it will not be the square
thing to hustle him into eternity at q
l seconds notice and leave the kiddies
to the mercy Of this cruel world. He
should be given chance to reform.
"Hello, old man! Are you coming
downstairs to help me pack up this
plunder?"
1t was the burglar who spoke, and
there was no fear In his tone
care you down thereT' you timidly
inquire.
"Of course am" he replies. II
have been here about half an hour and
you have heard nothing till Just now
Won't you come down and greet met"
'If you don't leave the house will
whistle for the policev'
"But you have no whistle. Not one
man in hundred carries one. If you
did whistle for the police you would
get no response from them. It is q
rainy night and they are leaning up
(, against the bars of saloons You have
no pistol handy and you do not keep
! a baseball bat in the house. Besides,
| you are not a hero. Your wife would
! have been down here ten minutes ago,
but you wouldn't let her come. Are
you going to stand there all night or
are you coming down here and help
| me sort over the silverware? Most Of
1t Is plated ware, and / don't care to
lug that around with me-"
Richard, ! will never live another
! day with you!" whispers the wife.
That seems to solve the problem, and
you take seat on the stairs and ex-
claim to the man below:
"Old fellow, l am going to shout
from one Of the front windows, and
I'll get you sentence of ten years
If have to sell the house to paw the
lawyer"
II would if l were you, but you
won't" came the answer, with a laugh
added to it. "In about ten minutes I
shall be ready to move on, and you
can go back to bed or come down and
talk 1t over between yourselves. I
hope there will be no family row fol
lowing this visit Of mine, for have a
conscience about such things If you
had the common prudence you'd lock
your windows and l should not be
here. All had to do was to raise the
SASH 1t was as easy as eating ba-
mana. ! was In yOur room half an