Norwich bulletin., 1916-12-13
ANNOYINGNEsS OF HUSBANDS

least would keep some poor old man
warm thiSswinter.
| Il hate to tell you the sequel, but
| that very identical night after Her
bert had walked restlessly all over the
! house she said no, he didn't care to
so out, no, he didn't know just what
he did wish to do. FiraIly he yawned
and declared that he wanted to sit
i down and spend a comfortable evening
| reading and, by Jovc. didn't he have
a sort Of smoking Jacket or something
he could slip ON? He believed he'd
like to use it!
When you hear low rumbies and
&EG 9BEaws anywhere it is Herbert, still
exSseGstng his opinion OF a home
where man never can be sure to
find his belongings when he wants
them! You'd think I had disposed of
ming clothes to the ashnaan to hear
the way he goes on: All the rest of
his life he'll mourn over that smck-
Eng jacket!
Then there was the smoking set
Aunt Ellen gave him Aunt Ellen has
kind heart, but limited ideas on art,
and this thing was painted china that
looked as though you had won 1t in
a rattle got UP by your worst enemy.
Even Herbert himself turned pale that
wintry morning ten years ago. when
we unpacked it amid the Christmas
excelsior.
81 put it in the attic where the light
was dim, and twice year 1t has
confronted me reproachfully. Nothing
ever fell on it and smashed it and
mice never tipped it over and the
scrubwonan handled it with tender
care. It didn't even get cnipped.
AT length I had a cleaning woman
who burst into ecstasies over the
smoking sets glory.-I think she was
about to marry her third husband
and when I found that she looked
covetcusly I wept with relief and
hastily bestowed the atrocity upon her.
Yes, you know the rest! Herbert an
nounced at dinner two hours later that
he wanted to give the old elevator man
something and he knew the old chap
wanted smoking set and why not
give him that perfectly good if slight
ly brilliant one Of Aunt Ellen's2 The
old fellow would appreciate it,
Il said No, Herbert, much as I re-
greet to state, that set is totally beyond
the appreciation of your elevator man,
unless by chance he is going to wed
Mrs. Mahoneyi" When the full truth
burst upon Herbert ne was as grumpy
as a man always is whom baked in a
deed Of kindness. u think h.. even be-
lieved had done it on purpose.
sHThat is why l still dust his boy
hood collection of shells which he has
not seen for twenty years, and un-
pack and repack in caznphor his two
suits of logging camp wool under
wear that he bought to go iceboating
and then never went. He never will
go iceboating and he never will want
that wooiens unless he turns arctic ex-
plorer in his old age, but don't dare
dispose Of them. Just as certainly as
1 did so, Herbert would arrive home
at 2 o'clock in the afternoon with the
GREATNESS news that he had Joined
somebody's north Greenland expedi-
ton and where are those wooden suits
of his? No, I've learned my lesson
| It's no usei"
you alarm mel" said her friend. az
guess Pll pause In my own rackIess-
ness-I had just set aside some school,
books used by Tom fifteen years age
and three hats of the vintage of 1910
| to be got rid of, but
'Dcn't!" cried the fluffy woman
grimly. Put 'em where they're
| handy, because I'll bet they're the
! first things Tom calls for tonight.''-
| Exchange.