The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1916-07-06

IL
my life I shall dwell in the bughouse
forever.
Over in Tacoma some of its best
citizens got badly stung the other
day. At a lemonade stand out in Old
Town a pretty girl was selling wet
goods and when she detected a gen.
uine thirst she proposed that the own
er try a cup of cold tea. A compre-
hensive wink usually induced the Gus
toner to try and he was rewarded
with cocktail right there in the mid
die of the desert. "We carry cold tea
in bottles, too," she announced, and
many were the citizens who rolled over
a big silver dollar, and tucked away
a pint in their pint pockets and many
were the citizens who were Disguised
that night to find that they had paid a
dollar for pint of real tea.
Carl White is rather disguested
with the tin can detective. Il haven't
heard a word from him." he complain
ed to us. "He's dandy to get started
but he never gets anything but clues.
He hasn't located the undesirable cit
izen who dumped the cans on the oiled
road yet; he never found Capt. Hoyt's
lantern; he couldn't locate the Harry
Heddington berries, and he never got
my hay" "Did he ever send you a
bill 2" we asked. "No," he admitted,
che didn't" "Well, don't boiler then, -
we advised, but nevertheless we rath-
er took the t. c. d. to task and that
probably resulted in the following cpl
sode:
Ding-a-ing-a-li -.
"Hello."
as this the Live Wire Officer"
"Yep." r. .
"This is S. A. Hoyt."
"Hello, Captain, glad to hear you.
Have you got phone? knew you'd
come to it."
"No, sir. None for me till we get
a metallic circuit"
"Phoning from a neighbours, eh
You ought to get in one of your own
so we could talk to you once in q
while. Where are you, at Ford's 2"
"No, I'm on my way home from
town and I stopped in at
ooh, no; so you're bringing home
your barrel after dark now, are you? p
"No, haven't got barrel. If YOU
will let me talk half minute, III
tell you what I want. Why, You're
worse than M. M. Moulton."
Gall right. Shoot away"
"Well, I've got the tin can detective
skinned"
"What now"
give found out who dumped the til
. cans on the oiled road"
"Go on. How did you find out"
"Why, l guess I stirred up his con
science for found him there picking
them up"
"Who was it,"
"Why it was --- --- .------
"Ho! Ho!! Ho!!! Stung again
: Why that's the t. c. d. trying to maxi
good on his reputation"
There's nothing like self-confidence
One of the neighbors received posta
! from A. S. Goss this week dated a
Portland, July LIST. 1t follows:
81 expected to be home Monday
: but I find that this town has gone o.
the bum since left and am going t
stay three or four days longer to fl
| it up. Can't you get some josh fror
/ Sleepy Hollow for me?"
The Grange picnic held at VIM. Te
waits place on July Fourth was YER
! well attended and enjoyable affair, a
j well as one of the largest gathering
! ever held in this community. Re,
Tontz, of Kennewick, gave an address
on "Good Citizenship" to which younl
! and old listened attentively and tn
! people of Finley hope to have the priv
ilege of having him with us upon SOM
other occasion.
The committee in charge of the re
freshments did thriving business al
day and deserve the thanks of the pub
lie for their faithful attention to du
ty. The races and other sports wer
entered into with spirit and gave tn
! spectators much entertainment. Alto
! gether the day was great success
and we hope Finley will celebrate tn
! glorious Fourth next year.
Heard at. the Grange picnic: A par
ty of ladies were discussing the Eu
ropean war. One of them declares
she was an American and positivel,
neutral and that she didn't care VIII,
l killed the Germans!!
/ "Well, Mrs. Altrogge, how is ev
/ erything?" ooh, she's all right.