davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Useless Visitor.

Say, young Teller" said Bronco Bob,
have you got a gun on you"
mo, sir r,plied the man with the
brand-new cowboy uniform. Il was
told that 1t was better TO be unarmed,
so as to avoid any impression that l
was seeking a quarrel"
well, that's great disappointment.
l needed a brand-new gun an thought
you'd be bringin' along at least a pair
of 'em. Don't you let anything like
this occur again. "-Washington Star.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

The subject of drinking water with
meals has been misunderstood.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

than anything she tried and l always
recommend it as fine tonic."-MRS.
JULIA STINSON.
Get "Favorite Prescription" today,
either in liquid or, tablet form, from
any dealer in medicines or send DR..
Pierce, Buffalo, n. Y, 10 cents for
large trial package of the tablets
Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Still, There Are Some.

Gosh ding."
whats the matter, friendT
81 wish l could find hotel that was
run to suit me-"
ITS difficult matter, friend. This
hotel isn't run to suit me, and yet
own it."-LOuisville Courier-J journal.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
The Wav of the Amateur

"Hcw is higgins getting on with
his vegetable garden?"
Hes enthusiastic about it-works
in It every day himself. BY the way,
he asked me not to forget TO give him
the address of the market huckster 1
deal with"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
STOP THOSE SHARP SHOOTING PAINS
"Femenina" is the wonder worker for all
female disorders. Price 81 90 and soc. Adv.
Odious Comparison.

81 have seen potatoes worth their
weight in gOld,' said the man from the
KlOndike.
'The idea" exclaimed Miss Cayenne,
'of comparing anything so precious as
Il potato to mere jewelry."
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Bodily Housekeeping
(BY V. NJ. PIERCE, NJ. d.

The subject of drinking water with
meals has been misunderstood.
In recent years investigation by
meapsaf X-rays, the observations of
AenSsts such as Cannon, Grutzner,
Paylov, Fowler. Hawk, prove that an
abundance of water taken during d.
gestion is necessary in good bodily
housekeeping.
II your kidneys are sick, or you suf-
fer with lumbago or rheumatism at
times, pain in the back or back of the
neck, take little Anuric before meals.
This can be found at any good drug
store. Therefore my advice to young
or old is, always drink plenty of pure
water. And for long life, occasionally
take tablets of Anurie three or four
tipN day.
Rhuric acts much more quickly than
lithia. Many find that it dissolves
uric acid as water does sugar.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Usual Exclamation.

Before the recent election Mr.
Twobble said his victory was assured"
"Yet. he was badly defeated. How
does he account for that?"
"He says it was due to a combina-
ton of circumstances over which he
had no control"
Meaning"
"He didn't get enough votes"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
China Gets American Plane

An aeroplane of American manufac-
ture, purchased by the Chinese mill
tary authorities for army use, has ar
fived at Swallow, China. A Chinese
aviator trained in. the United States
has been eRgagedrto operate it.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Egyptian Philosophy.

If thou arr successful and lowest the
wife Of thy bosom, then fill her stomach
and elothe her back. Make glad
her heart during the time that thou
hast. She is field profitable to its
Owner.-Ptah Hotep.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
STOP THAT HACKING COUGH.

Mansfield formerly IIungarian)
Cough Balsam heals the Unnamed and
J ,erated membranes and Guiets the
tickling nerves that lie underneath the
infected portions invaluable for Os-
bies. Price 25c and 5oc.-Ady.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
CAPUDINE
For Headaches

Try it and be convinced. Good for
aches in back and limbs also-Assists
Nature to get right and stay so. It's
Lfquid-eaSy to take.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Eccentricity.

Charley, dear" said young Mrs.
Torkins, did you make one Of those
freakish election bets"
"NO. II simply bet $50 and lost it."
THAT was worse than freakiSh.
Charles. That was foolish"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
The Happy Life.

Mrs. Calder never seems to have
any servant problem"
"DO you know why?"
mo"
"She'S never at home long enough
to find out whether she has or not"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Gratitude.

"Ny friend, fear you are slightly
in error"
Permit me to shake your hand,
sir"
But why?"
"YOu are the first man | ever ar
ali wrong"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
At the Wedding.

You know, the beginning of the
happy pairs acquaintance was when
he offered her an umbrella to keep
her new hat from getting ruined"
81 see. He was her rain beau and
that is why she carried a shower
bouquet"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
A NEGLECTED COLD


is often followed by pneumonia. Be-
fore it is too late take Laxative Quini-
d. e Tablets. Gives prompt relief in
cases of Coughs, Colds, La Grippe and
Headache. Price 25c.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Ills a Scale of Wealth.

Rich Brothers folks may occasion
ally need a surgeon, but Poor Broth
er's folks never need anybody except
the family doctor.-Fort Worth Star
Telegram.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
rallest Race, IN M6r!d :,

a.
AS a race. the 1alleSt people in the
world are~-the BeroPos. Of t.fe south.
vest Of Brazil. They average six teet
four inches in height.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
ESpediency.

Your honor. |
don't need a law
yer"
You'd better
have one. You
may be convicted,
you know"
What ! mean,
your honor. is that
| can be convict
ed just as well
without one"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
A PROMINENT WOMAN SUFFERED
SEVERE PAINS
Houston Heights, Texas. IN

mother used DR..
Plerce's Favorite
Prescription. She
was in very bad
health, was all
run down and it
seemed like she
could not get any
thing to do her
a ny good IN
til she took this
medicine. 1t did
her more good
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

Roman Eye Balsam is an antiseptic oint-
ment, applied externally and not wash"
Its healing properties penetrate the in
famed surfaces, providing prompt relief.
Adv
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

There are many mugs. plenty of
cheek and lots of chin in a barber
shop.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

You gotta get down TO, bizness, 1t
won't come down to you.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
To Drive Out Malaria
And Build Up The system

Take the Old Standard GROVES
TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know
what you are taking. as the formula is
printed on every label, showing it is
Quinine and Iron in a tasteless form The
Quinine drives out malaria, the Iron
builds up the system 50 cents.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
A Punctured ENTERPRISE.

$50 the submarine is going TO make
a dash home"
yes. if the enemy does not put
period to its trip"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

Of Course, He Believed II.
''DO You believe that awful story
they're telling, Pierce?"
Eyes, what is it?"-Everybody's.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
Masculine Form,

what is hunchT"
~ bunch is the masculine equiva-
lent of feminine intuition"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

Or. Peery's Dead Shot is not TO
zenge" syrup" hut a real ld-fashioned
dose OF medicine which cleans out Worms
OF Tapeworm with a single dose. Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

If it wasn't for his wife a man would
never know anything worth knowing
about the neighborS.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

A torpid liver condition prevents proper
food assimilation. Tone UP your liver with
Wrights Indian Vegetable Pills. They act
gently and surely. Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
November nth, 1915.
Prove What Swamp Root Will Do For You

Send Dr. KImer Bnghamton n. for bottle
1t valuable
kidneys bladder.
and at all
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

It's better to have an ounce of faith
in yourself than pound of faith in
your nPighhDr.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

A person may cause evil to others
not only by his actions but by his in
actiOnS-J. =. Mill.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

Next to clear conscious, for solid
comfort. comes an old shoe.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
DEATH LURKs IN A WEAK HEART,

80 on first symptoms use "RenUvine
and be cured. Delay and pay the AWFUL
penalty. 'Renoviue' is the hearts
remedy. Price SIOO and 5Oc.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

WoMAN'S GROWING GLORY
is her hair. II yours is streaked with
ugly. grizzly. gray hairs, use La Gre
ole" Hair Dressing and change 1t In
the natural way. Price $1.00.-Adv.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

What is all this talk about the gen
tleman farmer" Isn't every farmer
gentleman?
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

II nine wives out of ten had their
WY about il, they would step from the
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02

Couldn't Feed the Flame.
Wasn't Miss Flighty an old fame
of yOurs?"
Yes, until ran out of fuel"
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
SOME SMILES

Exaggerated Sense Of Possession.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1916-12-02
The Sunerior Sex


He-A miss is as good as mile.
She-But it takes a lot of men to
makes q league.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

strict attention to his work, and seems able to grasp any suggestion offered by his trainers, that twill be beneficial. For a number of years he was the star athlete at the flanders play grounds, %excelling in all branches of sport He has won a number of foot races but does not intend to display any of his ability in that line when he faces Green &t.
 Word from Waterbury states that Drummie is working hard to condi- ton himself for the coming battle with Medar. While not much is known of the latterain this city, he has nevertheless made a fine record for himself in New Haven where he recently appeared, and the sport writ CTS in the Elm City were loud in their praise of his work.
 Manager Walsh has had a mum mber of orders for tickets from various parts of the state. and it is expected that Hartford will send delegation to watch Young Fitz and Red" Au- burn Capitol Cityites who will mingle in the semi-final of eight rounds.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
LOCAL BOXER READY
 FOR COMING BOUT
Local Boxing Fans Watch Murphy Work and Are Pleased With
 His Condition.

"Young'' Murphy of this city who meets Battling Green of Hartford in the Ground preliminary at Man ager Walsh's boxing exhibition in Turner hall Friday evening, com menced the finishing touches on his training last evening, and for over two hours he entertained a number of visitors at his training quarters with skipping the rope, shadow box ing and three bouts with Joe Ryan, t"Kid'' Hector and his sparring part ner. That Murphy is fit for the fray and that his friends will be amazed at his wonderful Improvement in his work, there is no doubt, and they are unanimous in predicting a stormy ses- sion for MT. Green when they clash in the roped ring. Murphy is pos
 sessed of a hard wallop in both hands, and is willing youngster who pays
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
BELL CITY FIVE
 HAND OUT DEFEAT
Local State League BOVIerS Find
 Going Rough in Bristol

The New Britain representatives in the new bowling league formed re- gently. made it's initial appearance last evening on the Bristol alleys anu gracefully submitted to defeat aI the hands of the fast five represent ing the Bell City. The games were not easy for the victors, the local poyS fighting every inch of the way. The opening contest was a thriller With the breaks of luck going to the BrlS- toIites, who managed to cop the game by one ball lead. In this game Foote starred for the losers with 121 score. Hoff for the home team rolled 131 in this frame. Both or these players continued to shine throughout the evening. Eddie An derson anchor man for the home boys rolled in consistent fashion.
 A delegation of rooters from the Aetna Alleys headed by "Al' Huck and Patrick Puppel, furnished plenty of noise and encouragement for tho i team. The cheering squad avow that on the next meeting of the teams the 1 result will be reversed. The scores:
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
 Up Baeba

the desire that Sharpe return to New Haven and lift Eli football to win ming plane, it was found that he was under a five year contract with four years yet to run.
 With Courtney, Moakley and Sharpe all signed up for some years, major sports at Cornell are in the hands of excellent coaches, satisfactory to students, alumni and faculty. No greater honor can come to Moakley except his selection as coach of an American Olympic Games team and at the next revival of this great inter- national meet it is almost certain that he will be the choice for the position left vacant by Mike Murphy's death.
 No Changes Expected.
 The two-day meeting of the Inter- collegiate Football Rules committee set for New York February 25 and 26 is not likely to develop any radical changes in the playing code for next season. Parke Davis the Princeton University delegate to the meeting in discussing action at the conference, said recently:
 From the East arises a cry that to secure a touchdown the ball should be actually touched behind the goal line. From the West comes a sug ,estion that the try for goal follow ing a touchdown should be abolished. The movement to require the ball actually to be touched down behind the line to constitute touchdown arises from the disputes of spectators following two instances in the major games of the East in which some ot the latter believed that the ball Tn each instance actually crossed the line although the officials in. these games ruled otherwise.
 "The movement to abolish the goal following a touchdown has always had it's advocates and has been strong 1y advanced many times before the rules committees The goal after touchdown, however, has been and should be retained in the game be- ca,1se of it's great historical interest, because if is an attractive feature of play and because no sound argument kt
 "A feature of play that really calls for action is the practice which ap- peared here and there during the fall among players on defense of ignoring he flight of the ball on a forward pass and deliberately putting the player trying to recover the ball out ,f the play by violent bodyblocking' at the expense of a ten yard penalty. This is the only glaring defect that he threshing season of 1915 disclosed n the present ruleS''
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
DAkLEY'S RECORD IA WONDERFUL ONE
eran Track Coach Identified With Cornell for Y Years

Few York, Jan. 26.-The announce at that the Cornell University zletic Association has signed Coach Ax M oakley to a ten year contract strain the Ithaca track team, is Eher example of the manner in @ch Cornell looks ahead in the 1ter of collegiate and intercolIe- se sports. Moakley came to Cornell Rnteen years ago and since 1899 had charge of the track and Ss country squad without a break. a1e lives out the term of his new Fract with Cornell he will have Eed the Red and White for twenty bn years-a record which is un- Illed in this line of varsity sport Ehis time.
 like Coach Courtney of the rowing Eartment, Moakley has become Ilre at Cornell. Some years ago lr a notable victory for the Ithaca Fersity track team, MoakIey, like Ertney, was given a, handsome home Rthe alumni and underclassmen so ! today both Courtney and Moak- are as much a part of Cornell Ithaca as the oldest inhabitant. hkley's children have grown up been graduated from Cornell and Far as one can look into the fu- 3 Moakley will complete his ac- career at Cornell
 h signing Moakley to another long Rl contract Cornell has taken time |the forelock and prevented any 2 university from lifting the |ous coach. he same method was pursued, to be extent, in the case of Dr. Al |rpe, the football coach, and as a
 llt when Yale alumni expressed
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
SPORTS TERSELY WRITTEN

Frederick W. Rubien, Chairman of the Amateur Athletic Union Cham pionship Committee, yesterday noti- fled all of the competitors entered in the 300 yard junior championship at the Thirteenth Regiment Armory on Saturday night that this event would be the first track race on the program and that the trial heats would be started at o'clock sharp. Owing to the fact that the A. A. U. rules call for all championship races under and including 300 yards to be run in lanes, the heats, semi-finals, and final of this race will have to be contested before any other track race is started, as it would be impossible to take the lanes up and replace them during the games. The competitors will be permitted to rest ten minutes between the semi-final and final heats, and while they. are resting the 16-pound shot-put standing broad jump, and running high jump championships will be contested in the center of the drill floor.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
New Britain.
485 46S 457
Iandcrs Wins Again.

The "Hickville" five, representing the Berlin Construction h company. went down to defeat at the Aetna AL leys last evening before the superior work of the Landers Mo- 1 team, making the second victim for the win ners this week. The losers started off with a rush and annexed the first game but the Cutters came back strong in the following games and were on top in each. when the count added. Jurgen featured for the win ners, while McQdeeney was high man. for the losers. The scores:
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

which is nothing more than a cat boat with runners on the bottom. The scooter is also used for other pur poses, such as carrying food to ships that are ice bound and for taking other articles to different places along the bay. The scooter can go in water as well as on the ice.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

Two thousand Northwestern. Uni versity students signed a petition to the Faculty today during it to upho baseball as a college sport.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

of the unique craft, the marksmen
 had a successful days hunt. The pie
 ture shows one of the hunters With the sides of his scooter yacht lined with wild ducks. The scooter yacht is solely product of the Great South bay. The sportsmen attain speed of mile a minute in the small craft,
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

Camels are sold everywhere in scientifically sealed packages, 20 for IOc; or ten packages (2OO ciearettes) in eIa assine- paper-coveredc carton forSI.OO. We strongly recommend this carton for the home or office supply or when you travel
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26
SCHMIDT TO QUIT BRAVES
Big First Baseman Announces His Retirement From BasebaII-COn~ tract Expires in One Year.

Baltimore, Jan. 26.-It was learned yesterday that Charles Schmidt, first baseman of the Boston Nationals for the last two years, will retire from the game, and devote his entire time to his private business interests here.
 --'s ---------n.s 1-.sssg .yzE as
 Boston, Jan. 26.--The report from Baltimore yesterday that Charles Schmidt, first baseman of the Braves, had decided to quit the game, was not an entire surprise to officials of the club, although they had not received any formal announcement of it last night. Business Manager Walter E. Hapgood said that Schmidt had indi- cated last fall that he might retire, but Tn a telephone conversation With Manager George T. Stallings last week had promised to reserve final decision until they had had an opportunity to confer. Schmidt was under contract to play with the Braves another year. n
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

(Other Sporting News on Following
 Page.) 70,
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

David Bancroft. shortstop of the Philadelphia National League club, and Toney Faeth pitcher of the Mil waukee American Association, will play a match game at Superior, Wis. on Friday for the pocket billiard championship of the Northwest Faeth is champion of Minnesota. Bancroft makes his Winter home in Superior.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

Joseph Connolly, one of the lead 'Ng batsmen in the Boston National League club for the last two seasons, N"S Forwarded his signed contract to Boston.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

The third Silver Society Cat Show will be held tomorrow and Friday in the Winter Garden of the Hotel Me- A1pin, in aid of the New York Wo- mems League for Animals, Incorpo- rated. A remarka ble collection of cats and kittens will be on exhibition
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

John Leber, third baseman, and Ray Bunny" Thomas, an outfielder, were sold yesterday by the Terre Haute Central League club to the Fort Worth club of the Texas League.
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

Joseph Stone, who represents this city in the interstate three-cushion
 billiard tournament, will play a three cushion match of 150 points with Frank Henry at the Broadway Bill Hard Academy, beginning tonight. The match will be played in blocks of 50 points and will continue tomorrow and Friday
New Britain herald., 1916-01-26

The Brooklyn Superbas yesterday released Raleigh Aitchison, the left handed pitcher to the Milwaukee club of the American Association Aitchi- son was with Brooklyn only a part of last season. having been farmed to Chattanooga.
The weekly tribune and the Cape County herald. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1914-1918, 1916-06-15
CATHOLIC union
NAMES DELEGATE
TIA. Webbemeyer Will Go To
COnclave at Joliet, iii
In October.

t. A. Wibbenmeyer, insurance man
and secretary of the German-Ameri-
can Alliance, last night was elected as
delegate to represent the local organi-
cation of the Wetsern Catholic Union
at the biennial convention of the
order to be held in October at Joliet,
Illinois.
Hugo Kern, of the Normal fruit
farm, was named by the society as
Mr.. Wibbehmeycr's alternate.
Mr.. Wibbenmcyer has been a lead
ing member OF the Cape organization
Of the Western Catholic Union Tor
some time and he was one of the leaG-
ers in making the arrangements for
the entertainment of the delegates to
the convention of the Catholic Union
Of Missouri which met here month
ago.
The session of the Western Catholic
Union last night was held in the st.
Mary's school hall on South Sprigg
street. A feature of the entertainment
was spread" presented by Mr.. Wib-
benmeyer in celebration of his we'd
ding a short time age. About thirty
five members of the organization at
tended the affair.