davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
FAMOUS RACE HORSE ARRIVES
Special to the Telegraph

New York, July s. - Light Brigade,
a famous English racehorse, was
aboard the Atlantic Transport Line
steamer Minnehaha, which reached
here yesterday from London. 1t was
said that j. NJ. Camden purchased the
celebrated racer for $500
Light Brigade is o-year-old
stallion by Picton, out of Bridge of
Signs, and was bred and owned by
Lord Derby. This famous running
horse won IL races as 5-year-old
and three races as a 4-year-old.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
Baseball Summary;
Where Teams Play Today

WHERE THEY PLAY TODAY
New York State League
Harrisburg at Binghamton.
Wilkes Barre at Syracuse.
Scranton at Utica
Albany at Elmira.
National League
Philadelphia at ST. Louis.
Boston at Chicago.
Brooklyn at Cincinnati.
New York at Pittsburgh.
American League
Detroit at Philadelphia.
ST Louis at Washington.
Chicago at New York.
Cleveland at Boston.
Blue Ridge League
Hagerstown at Frederick.
Chambersburg at Hanover.
Martinsburg at Gettysburg.
Dauphin-Perry League
Dauphin at Duncannon.
Halifax at Marysville.
Millersburg at Newport.
Motive Power League
Harrisburg at New York.
Philadelphia at Wilmington.
Baltimore at Meadows.
Camden at Trenton.
Lykens S. S. League
Zion Lutheran VS.. Methodist.
St Johns German Lutheran VS.. Re-
formed.
Dauphin-Sc -Schuylkin League
LykenS at Williamstown.
Tower City at fremont.
WHERE THEY PLAY TOMORROW
New York State League
Harrisburg at Binghamton.
Wilkes Barre at Syracuse.
Scranton at Utica.
Albany at Elmira.
National League
Philadelphia at St. Louis.
Boston at Chicago.
Brooklyn at Cincinnati.
New k-Pittsburgh-no game.
American League
No games scheduled.
WHERE THEY PLAY MONDAY
New York State League
Harrisburg at Binghamton.
Wilkes-Barre at Syracuse.
Scranton at Utica.
Albany at Elmira.
American League
st. Louis at Philadelphia.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
Winning Pitchers
Robertson Now Leading

Robertson has Displaced Daubert as
batting leader in the National League,
hitting $50 to Daubert's .sSS: Carey,
Pittsburgh. is in front again in stolen
bases with 26; Flack, Chicago, in
sacrifice hits, with 26; Williams in
home runs with 10 and in total bases
with 1870; Burns, New York. in runs
scored with so. Brooklyn is ahead in
team hitting with 1855. The leading
batters are:
Robertson, New York, $50; Dau-
bert. Brooklyn, .SS3; Hinchman,
Pittsburgh. $50; Wagner, Pittsburgh,
1925; Long, st. Louis, 1924; thinner
man, Chicago, 800; Wheat, Brooklyn,
.313; Schultz. Chicago, .312; Chase,
Cincinnati, .311; Williams. Chicago,
sos: Hornsby, st. Louis, .302.
The leading pitchers are:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
HARD CHASE FOR
ELMRA TEAM
Harrisburg Loses Close Battle;
Hair-raising Plays Feature
Final Game in Series
Special to the Telegraph


Elmira, July s. - Pitcher Volz had
the local hypnotized unit 1.-The sixth
when he made an ascension, the Colo
nels, Harrisburg, losing out by a score
OF 3 to 2. Cockill's crew rallied in
the ninth and it looked lige a garrison
finish for the Keystone Capitol boqs,
but Jordan was sent in and stopped
the slaughter.
Dessau was wild at intervals and
several times was helped out of tight
places by his teammates. The game
was featured with sensational fielding.
When Jordan came in, Harrisburgs S
hitting stopped. With one man out he
famed Harrison and forced Reed out
at second.
Elmira Scores One
With two out in the first Elmira
scored one. Ward singled and stole
second. Loudly walked. Coles doubled
to center, scoring Ward.
Harrisburg evened matters in the
second. Harrison walked, took sec
ond on Reeds out and registered on
Downey's single.
Elmira took the lead by scoring two
in the sixth. Sullivan singled and took
third on Hunters single Hunter
stole second. Sullivan came in on a
wild pitch. Wards sacrifice and
Loudys sacrifice fly brought Hunter
across.
In the ninth Layden, first up. walk
ed. Cook singled to center. Cough
advanced both runners by sacrificing.
Brown singled to left, scoring Layden,
Cook reaching third on the hit. The
score:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08


Portland was awarded the 1917 tour
nament of the Sportsmen's Association
OF the northwest
At the beginning of the present year
there was 1851 active gun clubs in the
United States
Houston has been awarded the 1917
tournament of the Texas State Sports
mems Association.
Traphouses have been erected on the
grounds of the Portland (Ore) Gun
Club that will hold 10000 targets.
One of the most ardent trapshooters
in the Pacific slope is c. A. Fleming,
mayor of Spokane, Wash.
10000 targets were trapped in the
two days tournament of the California
Nevada State association on the San
Jose. (CaL) grounds.
Miss Gladys Reid, of Portland, COre.)
demonstrated in the Northwest Handi-
cap event in the Northwest Sportsmen's
of the coming women trapshooting ex-
perts in the country. She broke Al out
of so tieing for first place.
Henry Pfirrmann. Of Lon Angeles,
who won the California-Nevada State
championship with 100 straight and had
an diminished run of Ill straight is
only a recruit at trapshooting. Three
years ago this summer he was the raw
est of all novices; now he is one OF the
best shots on the coast.
The Oregon State shoot will be held
in Salem in 1917.
Up in Alaska they have lot of good
trapshooters. Juneau has "a club of live
businessmen and they shoot team
matches quite often with a club of
businessmen at Douglas. "a suburb"
across the Gasteneau channel.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Harrisburg 20 100 o o 1-2
Elmira .....1 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 s-3
Summary: Two-base hits - coles,
Loudly. Stolen bases - Ward, Conroy,
Hunter, Brown. Sacrifice hits -
Cough, q. Sacrifice fly-Loudy. Dou-
BILE plays-Volz to Brown; Bedenk to
Loudly to Ward; Conroy TO Loudly to
Ward. Left on bases-Harrisburg, 2;
Elmira, 3. Base on balls-Off Volz, 2;
off Parsons, L; off Dessau, T. Hits
and earned runs-Off Volz, 6 hits.
runs in seven innings; off Dessau, 5
hits. no runs in eight and one-third in
nings. Hit by pitcher-By Dessau, 2
Cook p. Struck out-By Volz, 4;
by Dessau, 8; by Jordan, l. Wild
pitch-VolZ. Umpires Dougherty
and Kuhn. Time-1.30.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

The Central high school tennis
courts at Front and Seneca streets are
ready. Three courts have been equip
ped and play will start Monday. Nets,
and other equipment can be had at the
home of Lewis Rimer, 2241 Penn
street.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
LIEUTENANT spALDING KILLED

New York, July S.-Lieutenant A.
Goodwill Spalding, of the Inniskillen
Fusiliers, has been killed in action,
according to cable message received
by relatives mere to-day. Lieutenant
Spalding was 25 years old and adopted
son of the late A. G. Spalding.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
RESULTS OF YESTERDAY


RESULTS OF YESTERDAY
New York State League
Elmira 3, Harrisburg 2.
Binghamton 5. Albany 1.
scranton 3, Wilkes-Barre 2.
Syracuse o, Utica 2.
National League
Philadelphia 1, st. Louis 0.
Chicago /, Boston 0.
Pittsburgh 5, New York 2.
Brooklyn 4, Cincinnati S.
American League
Detroit 8, Philadelphia 2.
Boston 2, Cleveland /.
New York 4, Chicago 8, (13 ins.)
ST. Louis 5, Washington o.
Allison Hill League
Reading l, Rosewood o.
Carlisle Industrial League
Carlisle Shoe 10, Beetem Textile 2.
International League
Rochester s, Newark Z GA ins.)
Buffalo Z, Providence 3 (first game)
Buffalo Z, Providence 6 (2nd game
toronto 4, Richmond 3 I'll ins.)
Montreal 5, Baltimore 4.
Blue Ridge League
Chambersburg s, Hanover I.
Martinsburg 8, Gettysburg 5.
Frederick s, Hagerstown 1.
Lucknow Shop League
Smith Shop 4, Clerks l.
STANDING OF THE TEAMS
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Detroit at Washington.
Cleveland at New York.
Chicago at Boston.
National League
Philadelphia at st. Louis.
Boston at Chicago.
Brooklyn at Cincinnati.
New York at Pittsburgh.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
Bits From Sportland

Enola Festival at Third and Reilly
streets Monday night.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Team No. 1 of the Enola Shop
League yesterday tied up with No. 4;
score l to /.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

The Night Truckers defeated the di-
vision Transfer team yesterday, score
8 to i.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Hard luck to loose a game that b.
longed to Harrisburg.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08
Chips From the Clays
BY Peter p. Carney

By feter +. carney
Portland was awarded the 1917 tour
nament of the Sportsmen's Association
of the northwest.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

The Pirates are moving faster.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

ing, and could not connect with men
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Manager George Cockill hopes to be
moving inward
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Downey is proving a good find.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1916-07-08

Bricker's two base hit in the open
ing inning yesterday, brought victory
for the Reading team in the Allison
Hill. League. Rosewood went down
fighting hard.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Wool Season OPENS.

The new wool season is getting un-
der way in the Yakima country, where
shearing has started. The few sales
already made, which range in price up
to 27 cents, are in line with quotations
elsewhere for this class of wool.
Shearing will not begin in Eastern
Oregon until about the middle of next
month, and in the meantime it is not
thought that much business can be put
through, as buyers and sellers are
apart in most sections. Isidor Kosh-
land, of Portland, has contracted for
so, 900 fleeces in Baker county at 20 to
21 cents, and also secured 10000
fleeces at Condor. This and the Stan
field sale already reported is the ex-
tent of the business done in Oregon to
date. There has not been as much
contracting to date in Western Idaho.
The London market continues irreg-
ular, and for this reason the feeling in
the trade is still rather nervous.
Fine reports are received from the
first Landings east of the mountains,
there being practically no loss.
More than 80 per cent of the wool
clip of Utah has been contracted by
buyers from Eastern houses and prices
paid for IL, 200, 900 pounds under con-
tract range from 81 to 28 cents, ac-
cording to DR.. S. W. Mcclure, secre-
tary of the National Woolgrowers'
association, says the Salt Lake Herald
Republican.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
inspection Day at Q. A. c.

Corvallis, Ore.-Military Inspection
Day, one of the really big days of the
college calendar, has been set for May
16, 1916. Review of the cadet regi-
ment and inspection of equipment and
military efficiency will be in charge Of
Captain Ross of the General Staff Of
the U. s. Army.
Military exercises will occupy the
entire day. In the forenoon will be
held a regimental review and general
inspection. In the afternoon there
will be individual and competitive
drills held for the benefit of privates
and officers. Upon the character Of
the work done in thase exercises will
depend the classification of the college
cadets for this year.
Because the college cadets repre-
sent almost every portion of the state
of Oregon a great many visitors are
usually present on this day to witness
the exercises. Leading state officers,
including the governor of the state
and distinguished military leaders Of
the state and national divisions Of the
army are usually in attendance.
Groups of Portland visitors and dele
cations of other nearby places are ex-
pected to attend.
This is Captain Ross first inspec-
ton at o. A. c. Heretofore, during
the last two years, inspection has been
performed by William T. Merry, also
of the General Staff. Captain Ross
will have charge Of the inspection Of
the military departments of twenty
two colleges, universities and other
schools. He will come here from in
spection Of the San Diego Army and
Navy Academy, and after finishing
the work at Corvallis will go to Seat
tie, Washington, 10 inspect the cadets
of that university.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
States Coal Resources Reported to
Government.

University of Washington, Seattle.
The United States Geological Sur
vey will shortly publish compre-
hensive bulletin on Washington's
coal resources, bringing together in
one report what has heretofore been
printed in fragments. The bulletin
is being prepared by Dean Henry
Landes, of the college of science.
during his years leave Of absence.
New fields, such as the Whatcom
county anthracite and Lewis county
Ignite beds, will be the subject Of
discussion in the report, in addition
to the better known King, Pierce and
Kittitas county fields.
Washington coal operators are feel.
ing the competition OF the California
oil fields, according to Dean Landes,
but the mines are nevertheless fairly
prosperous.
The hard coal of Washington will
draw only conservative comment.
Dean Landes describes 1t as in the
prospective stage, and says only de.
yelopment work will tell the story OF
quantity and quality.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Are Forced to Economize.

Methods of industrial efficiency
such as are habitually ascribed to
German establishments actually pre-
vail in the automobile industry of the
United States to greater extent
than is ordinarily understood. Par
ticularly in the handling Of waste
materials Is extraordinary attention
paid to details that are seemingly in.
significant.
The advantage Of these efficiency
methods and detailed saving possi-
BILE has been strongly emphasized
by conditions prevailing in this coun-
try at the present time. For instance
the scarcity of aluminium has placed
what was once a common metal now
almost in the semi precious class.
Prices on many manufacturing met
ais have in many cases doubled and
quadrupled over the ordinary rates
prevailing before the opening Of the
European war.
BY the use Of electric magnets,
scrap, which was formerly wasted,
is now carefully gone over and the
iron and steel fragments automati.
cally lifted out. In fact the automo
bile industry in the United States
gives keener attention to details
than is bestowed In any country.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
GUARD YOUR FAMILY

Peruna protects the family
against coughs, colds, catarrh,
bronchitis, catarrh of the stom-
ach, liver and kidneys. 1t is just
as sure to relieve case of ca
tarrh of the bowels as it is a case
of catarrh of the head.
Anyone suffering from catarrh,
severe or mild, acute or chronic,
in any organ or part of the hui
man body, should at once get a
bottle of Peruna.
As soon as the value of Peruna
if fully appreciated in every
household, both as a preventive
and a relief from catarrhal af-
fections, tens of thousands of
lives will be saved and hundreds
of thousands of chronic lingering
cases will be prevented. Peruna,
indeed, is a household safeguard.
A course of Peruna never fails
to bring relief in such cases,
since there is no remedy like it,
as thousands of people have tes.
tilted.
Peruna Tablets are now available In
convenient tins Easy to take.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Apple Storage Stocks Declining.

Portland-The office of markets has
issued its report of apple holdings on
March l, showing that on that date
there were 2529,23S barrels in All
storage houses in the country. The
same storages reported l, 767, 214 boxes
of apples on the first of this month.
On February |, 407 storages reported
3, 457, 999 barrels and 2, 651, 908 boxes,
or reduction of 928, 761 barrels and
1888, 994 boxes during the past month.
The holdings of barrel and box stock
are about 10000 barrels more than
this time year ago. Present hold
ings of actual barrels are more than
last year, while the stock of boxes is
some less.
Total exports of apples to March 4
were 223, 958 barrels, against 81, 924
barrels the same week last year. To-
tai exports for the season up to Satur-
day of last week were l, 1876, 1888 bar
rels, against 2,491, ,9O2 barrels the
same period year ago.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Senate Passes $11,OOO,OOO
ArmOr Plate Factory Bill

Washington, D. C.-The Tillman
bill to provide for the erection of an
armor-plate factory by the government
at a cost not to exceed $11, 900, 900
was passed by the senate late Tuesday
by vote of So to 23.
Democratic senators supported the
bill solidly, regarding it as one Of the
important measures include the Ma
tional preparedness program. Nine
progressive Republicans joined with
the majority in voting for the bill.
Passage of the measure.in the house
is regarded as assured. Administra-
tion leaders are planning to bring it up
soon after passage of the army reorg-
anization and immigration bills.
The bill, which has the approval Of
the administration and Secretary Dam
iels, was bitterly opposed by several
Republican senators.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Blame Denied by Berlin.

Berlin-No German submarine could
have been in the vicinity of the spot
where the Dutch liner Tubantia was
sunk, and no German mines had been
laid in this region, the German ad-
miralty announces. The official state
ment says: "a German submarine is
out of the question in connection with
the sinking of the Tubantia, as the
place where the accident took place is
less than 80 miles from the Dutch
coast, which means that this place is
within the territory declared to be not
dangerous for shipping by the mani
festo Of February 4, 1915"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Hospital Ship Is Sunk.

Berlin-The Austro- Hungarian hos
pital ship Elektra was torpedoed Sat
urday in the Adriatic sea by an entente
allied submarine, according to the
Overseas News agency. One sailor
was drowned and two Red Cross nurses
were seriously wounded. "Vienna re-
ports that the hospital ship Elektra, of
the Austro-H Hungarian Red Cross, was
torpedoed in the North Adriatic by an
enemy submarine. The steamer
stranded. The Elektra was not unknown
to the enemy as hospital ship, and
was provided with visible marks"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
GENERAL FUNSTON ASKS WAR DE-
PARTMHNT FOR "ADfQUA1f FORCE

San Antonio, Tex.-General Fred
erick Funston asked the War depart
mnet Tuesday for more troops to send
into Mexico, after long consideration
of the advisability of continuing the
operations against Francisco Villa
with his forces now commanded by
General Pershing. General Pershing
suggested that another regiment be
sent to him, and General Funston
asked the department for what he
characterized as an adequate force. "
It was announced at General Fun
ston's headquarters that the Fifth
Cavalry, of which one squadron is at
Fort Myer,. Va; another at Fort
Leavenworth, Kan, and the third at
Fort Sheridan, ILL.,, would be brought
to the border at once, and sent forward
along General Pershing's line of COM
munication to Casas Grandes.
The only reason given for strength
ening General Pershing's forces,
known by the public generally to be
considerably more than 1000, was that
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
NORTHWEST MARKET REPORTS;
GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS

Portland-..Wheat = Bluestem, CSC;
fortyfold, 90c; club, 90c; red fife, 90c;
red Russian, 90c.
Hay-Eastern Oregon timothy, 500
@21 per ton; valley timothy, SIG; al
falfa, 500.
Millfeed = Spot prices: Bran, $3.50
$3.50 per ton; shorts, $25.50@26;
rolled barley, $31. 50@32.50.
Corn-Whole, $37 per ton; cracked,
$3S.
Observation-Disclosures 75@90c per
dozen; tomatoes, $4@4.25 per crate {;
cabbage, $1.25 a 2.25 per hundred !;
garlic, 1Oc per pound; peppers, TAO
Zoe; eggplant, 22ac; sprouts, 8@9c;
horseradish, 8sc; caulifower, s1.15@
2.25; celery, $3.50 per crate; lettuce,
s2.25; cucumbers, $1.25@1.50; spin
ach, $1@1. Is per box; asparagus, 15@
17ac per pound; rhubarb, $2.25@2.7 rs
per box; peas, 12ac per pound.
Potatoes - Oregon, $1.40@1.5 so per
sack; Yakimas, $1.50@1.75; sweets,
$3.25@3. so per hundred.
Onions - Oregon, buying prices,
$1.50 f. o. b. shipping point.
Apples-Spitzenbergs, extra fancy,
1925 per box; fancy, So; choice,
$1.25@1.5O; Yellow Newtowns, extra
fancy, So; fancy, s1.75; choice, $1.35
@1.5O; Rome Beauty, fancy, $1,000
1.6O; Winesaps, choice, $1.15@1. .35;
Stayman, choice, $1.25@1. .35.
Eggs = Jobbing prices: Oregon
ranch, candled, 19s@2Oc per dozen;
uncandled, 1Sc per dozen.
Poultry - Hens, 16@17c per pound;
springs, Tie; stays, 12@13c; broilers,
25c; turkeys, live, 1S@20c; turkeys,
dressed, choice, 24@25c; ducks, 1870
Ice; geese, 10c.
Butter = Prices from wholesaler to
retailer: Portland city creamery
prints, 60-pound case lots, standard
grades, 95c; lower grades, 32c; Ore
gon country creamery, prints, 60-pound
lots, standard makes, 32@34c; lower
grades, 31@31ac; packed in cubes, &c
less. Prices paid by jobbers to pro
ducers: Cubes, extras, 9O@31c;. firsts,
2S@28ac; dairy butter, 15@19tc; but
terfat, No. l, 33c; No. 2, soc.
Veal-Fancy, 9s@10c per pound.
Pork-Fancy, 1Oac per pound.
Hops-1915 crop, 10@13c per pound;
1916 contracts, 11a@12c.
Wool-Eastern Oregon, 20@30c per
pound; valley, 27@28c; mohair, Ore
gon, 2S@29c.
Cascara bark-Old and new, 4c pei
pound.
Cattle - Prime steers, $7.50@8. 10;
choice, $6.50@7.50; good, $6.75@7;
medium, $6.5O@6.75.; choice cows,
Sc. 50@6.75; medium, s5.25@6; heif-
ers, $4@7; bulls, $2.5O@5; stays, So
@5.25.
Hogs = Light, $3.50 q 9; heavy,
$7.5O@8.
Sleepy Yearlings, $7@s; ewes, 81
OF; lambs, $8@9.25.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Both Unnecessary.

Former Speaker Cannon tells this
story Of his early impecunious days:
zone of my friends was strug-
Cling physician. Neither fame nor for
tune had come to either Of us, but
we were always hopeful. The years
had weighed heavily upon my friend,
however, for he soon lost his hair, be-
ing quite bald.
"One day I greeted him with a
beaming countenance and exclaimed:
What do you think, Henry? have
Just bought an office safe
Then, Joe,' he said with the ut
most gravity. I shall buy hair
brush.'"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
LOSSES SURELY PREVENTED
The BypIay MInstreIs.

"Mister Interlocutor, can you tell me
why room full Of married people is
like an empty room?"
mo, Mr.. Bones, | cannot. VIII you
tell us why?"
Because there is not o single per
son in It,"
Good, Mr.. Bones. And what have
you to say this evening, Mr.. Tambo?
Can you tell me how many eggs a
man can eat on an empty stomach%
mo, Mr.. Tambo, l cannot. VIII you
tell us how many?"
"One. Because after that his stom.
ach wouldn't be empty"
AFTER the smoke has cleared away
and the blood has been mopped up
from the stage, Mr.. Let's Lynchem
will render that pathetic ballad, Ten
Million Squirrels Have Starved to
Death Since Henry Ford's Ship
Steamed Away"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1916-03-24
Black Cat in Four Wrecks

North Yakima, Wash. - One closed
Northern Pacific freight car, in which
black cat was locked at Auburn, was
responsible few days ago for four
accidents. The train had two derail-
ments on the west side of the noun
tains, the same car figuring in both.
The ill-omened car jumped the rails in
the Roza canyon and spilled shipment
of flour and automobiles. After passing
this city it caused another wreck in the
lower valley. When the car was
opened at Pssco the cat disappeared,
and no more trouble was encountered.