davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
LOYD'S BRAIN LEAKS.
;BY F. $. LLOYD:

the CT
InverUncl Dock Green says believe al
till nu say but you had better not say
If co you believe.
'uaeurom Yandell says it isn't the woman
10 goes out to lecture on How TIC
Great Ike Home Happy" and gets back
the late that her husband has to eat
had med junk who has happy home!
sturdis the woman who stays home and
keens "a good hot supper awaiting for
tivesr husband.
d. sffie Baker says any woman can ,ell
wberit she would be as we'll dressed
deep other women IL she star we'd herself
gray e they do and put everything she
the VI on her back.
I'd Baker says some Of the girls OF
On KY, don't seem TO know il. but
bulk nan would rather see girl wearing
neileitation lace that is clean, than real
went that's dirty.
today Just take look at that GIRL" said
Is scyid Woods. Gee. but she is thin,
loss I she?"
landi.Yes," shifted Mrs. Woods. She
writtllmost as thin as married mans
IN tnuse when he gets home late at
scht."
the
was Iome Of these days girl is going to
n foo married and the Record Press will
ders get to say that the bride is beauti-
deedsand accomplished. And when that
of sspens. the brides family is going to
the tie and stop the paper. Oh, she'll
carr even and don't you forget that.
The Ienator Deboe says don't use an ice
not g to remove wax from your ears
Englloel Baker says when father wants
appeship one OF US children for telling a
INC mother always gives father a
'ling out and tells him that the
namS ""' was" W o's'ne LUZ yhg as
fame Inherited the habit from his father.
eronalvin Elder says the biggest suck.
cd f;n the world are the lads who are
oiashys saying "You Can't Fool Me. +"
Enc ellie Hillyard says II your mirror
don you that you are homely and your
embetheart tells you that you are
ords. itiful. you know that the mirror is
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06

Uncle Gus Bentley says every now
and then you meet man who won't
yield to anything but temptation.
Newt Dollar says there was a time
when | was a boy-when a girl had
to raise her skirt 10 keep the bottom
from getting muddy. But nowadays
she wears her skirt so short that she
comes home with the knees of her
stockings splashed with mud.
Uncle Dee Threlkeld says women do
not cry as much as they used to; their
compilations are not waterproof like
they used to be.
George Order says the man who is
afraid to do a thirg because he is
afraid people will talk about him, new
er gets anywhere.
Tom Yandell says there are some
100000 words in the English language
but when man stumps his toe or
mashes finger, the only word he can
think Of is one that begins with ID, ="
aud rhymes with lamb.
Dick Grow says when a man tells
you five times in five minutes that he
is,perfectly sober you can bet that he
is drunk.
Albert Elder says a single man i'm
AGNES that there are only ten COM
mandments, but the married man
knows better.
Billy Cox says any old time a man
hangs around you and pats you on the
back and tells you what a fine fellow
you are, and how smart you are, he is
merely batting his hook for another
sucker.
Uncle Dock Green says what has be-
come Of the old-fashioned shirt that
you had to pull on over your head.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
Opened Wifes Grave
For Her Resurrection,

Huntington, W. Va, Dec. %.
Declaring that the Lord had
appeared to him in midnight Wis.,
itation and commanded him to
unearth the body Of his wife,
who died on December %, 1914.
and that the dead woman would
be brought back to life, Leonard
Smith, 80 years old living in
Brownstown. W. Va. to-day
collected a band of religious IA
natics and, taking a horse and
wagon to haul the resurrected
wife home. proceeded to the
burial ground back Of Browns.
town. where the body was taken
from its grave.
The band gathered closely
around, confident that when the
lid was raised the dead woman
would rise and speak to them.
SO firm was their belief that a
complete outfit Of woman's
clothing had been made ready
to take the place of the gar
ments surrounding the corpse.
The religious band engaged in
fervent prayer for several min
utes, when Mayor James Mar
cum and Constable A. G. Ply
male, Ceredc, arrived and order
ed the grave closed. The party
complied with the order.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
Washers Avoid Girls Periscope.

Three pretty youngEwomen,
wearing what they termed per /.
scope bonnets, came near being
swamped in a sea of humanity on
State street.
The periscope bonnet is abso-
lutely new to Chicago. 1t car.
ries an arrangement of mirrows
by which the wearer can observe
pursuing Washers without turn
her head.
A tiny mirror is tucked at an
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06

attractive and innocent angle in
the bonnet, so that it reflects
the actions of pedestrians behind
the wearer. Thus if some per-
son trailing behind the periscope
begins Strengthening his coat and
busting off his shoes, these act
ions, reflected in the mirror,
warn the pretty girl beneath
that a masher is preparing to at
tempt to flirt. North American
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
Colds Need Attention

Internal throat and chest troubles
produce Inflammation. irritation. swell.
ing or soreness and unless checked at
once are likely to lead to serious
trouble. Caught in time DR.. Bells
Pine Tar.Honey loosens the phlegm
and destroys the germu which have
settled in the throat or nose. II 4
soothing and healing. Pine is an,isep.
tici honey is soothing Il both together
possess excellent medicinal qualities
for fighting cold germs. Insist on
Dr. Bells Pine.Tsr.IIoney. 25e at al
Druggists.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
Help Your LlVer--ll PAYS

When your liver gets torpid and your
stomach acts queer. take DR.. King g
New Life Pills and you will find your
self feeling better. They purify the
blood, give you freedom from constipa-
ton, biliousness. dizziness and indiges-
ton. Yon feel fne-just like you
want to feel. Clear the complexion
too. 25c, at druggists. /
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
10 Drive Out Malaria
And Build Up The System

Take the Old Standard GROVES
TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know
what you are taking, as the formula Is
printed on every label, showing /, Is
Quinine and Ifon IN a tas,eless form.
The Quinine drives cut malaria, the
Iron builds up the sySlem. 50 cents
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
piles Cured In 0 70 nays

Your druggist will refund money u PAzo
OINTMENT fails 10 cute aay case Of rching,
Blind bleeding OF pfotruding Piles In tto IA DAYS,
The hfst duplication gives Ease and Rest. SOC.
Crittenden record-press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1909-191?, 1916-01-06
Deficit In Subscriptions.

The subscriptions. to make up
the deficit in the 1916 salary
for ]. R. Bird, our county agent.
are not all in. Some clubs have
failed TO respond. This is i'm
portant and should be attended
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
Get 10000 ENEMY
British Report Number Seized
Since Drive Began.
Turks Announce alternating
Successes in Persia Fight.

London, July 15.-The statement
from the front, time 1880 p. M, fol-
lows:
All continues to go well on the
British front and at one point We
forced the enemy back to his third
system of defense. more than four
miles to the rear of his original front
trenches at Fricourt and Mametz-
In the last "a hours we have cap
tured over 1000 prisoners, including
a regimental commander of Third
guards division, and the total number
of prisoners taken by the British since
the battle began now exceeds 10000.
Large quantities of war material also
have fallen into our hands"
Turn Back Allies Warships.
Constantinople, July Is Cvia Lon
dom An official statement issued by
the Turkish war Office says:
"On the Iraik and Persia fronts
there is nothing to report
In the Caucasus advanced divi-
sions of our right wing drove back and
pursued to their main positions strong
hostile accommodating patrols. In
some. sectors of the center there was
fighting of decreasing violence without
resulting IN success for either side.
Actions continue with alternating
success.
"Our artillery fire prevented hostile
warShlps from approaching the OAR
danelles coast and the waters of
Smyrna harbor
AN enemy biplane was compelled
to descend near Tenados.
Tuesday night a hostile cavalry
was defeated near Katia."
Repulse Several Attacks.
Paris, July 15.-The French official
statement follows:
"On the left bank of the Mouse a
German attack with hand grenades
against one of our trenches northeast
of the Avocourt redoubt was repuised
''On the right bank of the river the
artillery fighting was sustained and in
tense in the sector of Fleury. We dis
perSed with infantry fire several re-
connoitering parties of the enemy in
Chapitre wood
I'm the forest of Apremont several
attempts of the Germans to make at
tacks were broken up by our curtain
of fire"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
MAKING MEN THIRSTY
That's Why Daniels Removes Wine
Services From Battleships.

Philadelphia, July 15.-Any man
who is reminded of a drink will want
one. Secretary Daniels believes. That's
why there are to be no more cutglass
wine services in the United States
navy.
Mr.. Daniels resolved not to subject
his officers to temptation, has ordered
off the ships all cut glass except olive
dishes and hand mirrors. Some Of
the vessels stationed here already have
been directed to send their services to
the New York navy yard, where they
will be sold at auction.
The folks at home who contributed
good dollars to buy punch bowls and
decanters for the Dattleship bearing
the name of their state may now buy
them back at 20 per cent of their
cost If they were presented in the
two years since Mr.. Daniels order do
ing away with wine went into effect,
they are almost as good as new.
There are some pickle dishes
aboard the battleships. These, of
course, will not be allowed to remain
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
PRACTICE CRUISE
Navy Sends Out $4,000 Militia
ON Eleven Warships.
Women Barred From Fleet Is
Navy's New Order.

Washington, July 15.-Women are
barred from the naval militia and mo-
tor boat reserve cruise and maneuvers
which began today among the naval
militia of nineteen states under the
direction of of the navy department
The cruise will last until July 20.
The original plan was to have the
battleships Maine, New Jersey, Ken
lucky receive the New York and New
Jersey naval militia at New York,
cruising to sea and to Block Island
sound and back; while the battleships
Kearsarge and Virginia were to go to
Boston to receive the militia from
Massachusetts. Connecticut. Maine and
Rhode Island; while the battleships
Alabama, Illinois and Rhode Island at
Philadelphia received the militia of
Illinois. Maryland, District of Column
bia, Michigan, Pennsylvania, South
Carolina, Minnesota. Missouri and
Ohio, and the battleship Louisiana at
Hampton Roads received the militia
of Virginia, Florida, Louisiana, North
Caroline and Texas.
The practice cruise uses nine re-
serve battleships on the Atlantic coast
and a battleship and two cruisers on
the Pacific. About 2T0 officers and
1900 militiamen were engaged in adj
dition to smaller number of regular
naval officers and enlisted men.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
HERzOG IS WILLING
Going to Another Club Will Be Agree
able to Red Pilot.

Cincinnati. O., July 15.-CharIes
Herzog, manager of the Cincinnati
Nationals, said today that he had con-
scented to his transfer to some other
club if President August Hermann
desired to make a trade.
Hermann is at present in New
York, where he is reported to have
been in conference with President
Hampstead, of the New York Nation
ais, regarding a deal for Hcrzog.
1t is said that Hampstead will ac-
company Hermann to Cincinnati to-
morrow morning, and that they will
meet HerZog and endeavor to arrange
the final terms of the deal.
Herzog has been mana ger of the
Cincinnati team for the past two years
and a half, coming here from New
York in the spring of 1914 in ex-
change for outfielder Bob Bescher and
Catcher Hartley.
Hartley joined the Federal league
before the season started and never
reported here.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
MASONS' BIC DAY
Cornerstone of New Library To
Be Laid Friday.
Hundreds of Visiting Members
of the Lodge Expected.

The cornerstone of what will be
one of the two largest Masonic Ii
braries in the United States will be
laid next Friday afternoon at o'clock
at the site, corner of Eighth avenue
and Harrison streets. The ceremony
will be performed by the grand lodge
after a parade OF Kansas Masons,
which is expected TO be two miles in
length
The cornerstone will be laid by
Giles H. Lamb of Yates Center, grand
master of the grand lodge of Kansas
He has given his permission to the
four blue lodges of Topeka to cele-
orate the occasion. The masters of
the four lodges will act as a COM
mittee on arrangements for the day
The committee will consist of Fred
Voiland, master of Golden Rule
lodge No. 80; Victor S. Boutwell,,
master of Sloan lodge No. 225; John
Wilton, master of Orient lodge No
81. and Peter Couture, master Topeka
lodge No. II. These four men have
asked Elmer Strain to act as marshal
of the day. The parade will be
headed by the Knights Templars, and
will include Marshalrs band and
every Masonic organization in the
city as well as the visitors from over
the state
Hundreds of Masons from all parts
OF the state are expected here for the
celebration. Topeka Masons will turn
out in force. for the erection of the
library signifies that the grand lodge
headquarters are here to stay. Topeka
now has every organization in Ma
sonry with the exception of the Shrine
and that will be given to her next
year.
The new library will be the finest
looking building on Capitol square. 1t
will only be OVerShadOwed in the
future by the proposed Masonic tenn
pie at Tenth avenue and Van Buren,
street which will occupy a quarter OF
a block and will cost half a million
dollars
The library is to cost 100000. The
contract calls for its completion by
February 10, 1917; not January
1918, as has been enormously an
| nounced. The money for its construc-
ton is to be raised by a 81 annual as
sessment on every Mason in Kansas
for the next two years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
BE CAREFUL THAT
FRUIT EATEN RAW
is FREE OF DIRT
BY SAMUEL G. DIXON, NJ. d.
Pennsylvania Commissioner of

health.
Fruits and vegetables are a neces-
sary part of the diet during hot
weather. Many of these are more ap-
petizing when eaten raw Berries,
apples, radishes, onions and salads
are popular and have their value as
food.
Care should be exercised in the
preparation and serving of green
foods, however, as they are subject
to much handling between the gar
den and the table. In many market
gardens the gathering of the produce
is intrusted to a class of labor which
is not any too cleanly; and care sell
dom is exercised to insure cleanliness
Food exposed for sale in markets
also is often subject to indiscriminate
handling by prospective purchasers.
AS protection berries and food
stuffs eaten raw should be thoroughly
washed before being served. It is
much better to risk a slight impair
ment of the flavor than to chance
eating unclean foods.
Nightsoil should not be used for
fertilizing gardens from which the
produce may be eaten raw. Water
cress should not be gathered from
streams polluted by sewage. Many
cases are on record where typhoid
fever has resulted from failure to
heed these points
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
$4,000 TO BORDER
That Is Eastern Departments Quota
Organic More Engineers.

New York, July 15.-Fifty-two
thousand national guardsmen from
the department of the east are now
on the Mexican border or approaching
the border. Major General Leonard
Wood announced today. OF these
New York state has contributed 49,
IT'S. Pennsylvania is second with 49,
779
General Wood. who yesterday in
spected the citizens military training
camp at Plattsburg. said the camp
was one of the finest ever established
in the country. .
Another Corps of Engineers.
st. Louis, Mo-. July 15.-Adjutant
General: John B OMeara is in ST
Louis today taking steps to organize
an engineer corps which will be sent
to Nevada, Missouri, as soon as en-
listed to take the place of any por-
ton of the corps which may have to
drop out in vicissitudes on the border
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
MAKE FIGHTERS FIGHT
New York Boxing Commission May
Permit Decision Bouts Again.

New York, July 15.-Elusive cham
pions of the fistic world. who have
been wont to display the itching palm
rather than the clenched fist, may
have to defend their tatles in decision
bouts soon, if they wish to box in New
York.
Chairman Wenck of the state ath-
letic commission, incensed at the ac-
lions of Freddie Welsh and other title
holders, in a letter made public to-
day, suggests that the present regu-
lation of the body forbidding deci-
sions be amended to provide for ref
eree's decision in any contest where a
champion is contestant.
The proposed rule provides that a
generally recognized champion can
not box at all in New York state. ex-
cept in a bout involving his title
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
MATHEMSON MAY GO TO
CINCINNATI AS MANAGER

New York, July 15.-Rumors
early today separated Christy Ma
thewson, "Old Master" of the New
York Giants, from his job on Nc
and Hampstead had virtually
to Cincinnati-possib as manager
of the Cincinnati Reds. Mathew
sons name bobbed up today in
connection with the deal between
the New York and Cincinnati clubs,
whereby it now appears certain
Charlie HerZog, manager OF the
Reds, will return to the Giants. 1t
was declared Presidents Hermann
Graw's pitching staff and sent him
agreed to put the deal through
with Mathewson going to the Reds
Larry Doyle was first mentioned
as being the Giant most likely TO
be involved but McGraw is said to
have refused to part with Larry,
and Mathewson was then agreed
on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
WORRY OVER AUSTRIA
Germans Realize They Cannot Win
Unless Ally Makes Stand.

Berlin, July 15.-The position of the
Austrians is regarded in Germany
with profound anxiety. The military
correspondent of the Frankfurter lei
tung writes:
Even west of Kolomea the Austria
HungarianS have not found sufficient
strength to withstand the Russians.
The interests, however, of the entire
front now demand that the Austro-
Hungarians soon make halt, for even
the most heroic courage of our troops
can avail nothing if the adjoining posi-
tions are not held"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
1885 workers Get Medals.

Calumet, Mich, July Ex-Governor
Woodbridge n. Ferris of Michigan and
Maj. Henry L. Higginson of Boston,
were principal speakers at today's
semicentennial celebration of the
Calumet and Hecla Mining company.
The outstanding feature of the observ-
ance was the presentation of gold, sill
yer and bronze service medals to.
1856 employees who have worked for
the company for twenty to fifty years.
All of the $500 employees were given
a holiday.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-07-15
BRIDGE THREE MILES LONG
Largest Across Mississippi Opened
for Traffic at Memphis.

Memphis Tenn, July 1.-THE new
Harahan bridge across the Mississippi
river at Memphis, said to be the larg-
est structure spanning the river, was
opened to traffic for the first time to-
day.
The structure is owned jointly by
the Rock Island, the St Louis, Iron
Mountain & Southern, and the ST.
Louis Southwestern Cotton Belt)
roads Including the approaches it is
approximately three miles long.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1916-09-11
A FIDDLER" IN FACT.

& One Of the excruriaung cartoons
THAT is being printed in the various
Democratic newspapers OF the State
pictures Uncle Sam" manipulating
the bass yiol with Senator Chiffon
and President Wilson playing the first
Ind second fddles, the superhuman
onceit of the fertile Democratic pub
sity bureau, labeled Three Fiddlers
ln In Tune: Senator Chiffon is said
Ito, be an accomplished yiolinist. and
nothing typifies his political career so
well as his posture between Uncle
Sam" and the President. "hddling.' He
is q great exemplar Of that art. a lid.
dIer par excellence on all issues. We
have Webster's definition OF the tran
sitive verb fiddle in corroboration--to
: Fiddle away" ITO fritter away" to
..spend on trifes.'' Rosin your bow.
Senator, and go to it. You are pre-em-
sinertly a fritterer, aud how long have
'syou persisted in spending your time on
tribes and neglecting the worth while
Things?
II We take the secondary definition
webster gives to the noun fiddler, we
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1916-09-11
"SAFETY FIRST. "

The tragedy that occurred in Bel
mont county, near Martins Ferry, Sat
urdav, by which an estimablc citizen
of that community lost his life and
widow and her fatherless chlldrel
were plunged into inconsolable GRIEF,
is all tho more pathetic, because with
the ordinary precautions it would have
been prevented. 1t was not because
MIR. Rankin, the victim of highway
mn, was given to reckless dlsre-
gard of danger, but that he was one
of thousands who imagine no peril
surrounds them because none has
ever confronted them.
When you cannot read your morning
paper without seeing some detailed
account of robberies much more dar-
ing than this one, holdups that have
occurred in the most densely throng-
ed quarters Of the great cities. it
seems that the open country would
certainly nave suggested the lahIuS
of some precaution against surprise.
Just now we are having dinned into
our ears and staring us in tho eyes
words advising caution in every walk
of life, all symbolized in the slogan
Safety First" 1t is. human nature TO
4 large extent that imposes upon
many of US that We are the forcor-
dained exceptions TO all rules, human
and divine. But as eternal vigilance
has been insisted on as the only
safety against the, Arrangement Ut
our political liberties, how much more
impressive does the exercise OF Or
binary precautions against physical
disasters and accidents stand out as
a vigilance equally worth while.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1916-09-11

extract this suggestive description OF
the kanawha statesman: The common
European Sandpiper, so-called be-
cause it continually oscinates its
body" Let us apply the osc1llatlng
mind of the President, and then We
shall have Senator Chiffon in perfect
tune-in his oscillations. The only
discordant note in this cartoon SYM
phony is Uncle Sam" He is general
IL supposed to represent the American
spirit. In the Democratic caricature
he could not help but play out OF tune.
And, BY the way how about the har-
mony of that tune the Senator was
playing for Clyde Johnson's appoint
ment TO the Court of Claims? The
President failed to take the key, didn't
he?
The Three Fiddlers All in Tune" is
about as incongruous as statement
in a Democratic organ, that a great
effort is being made by the predatory
interests in this State to defeat Sena-
tor Chiffon, because he has so success
fully fought big business" Now
don't that jar you? If the predatory
interests" in West Virginia should hap
pen to find this out there would be a
violent dissolution and liquidation OF
some present partnerships-a definite
severing of some profitable political
connections.