The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1916-03-11

he, to see fools trying to run the
world
81 never touch a drop says l, and
world runs on its wi apex, accord
ing to science, with no meddllng from
me-
81 was referring says he, to the
president of this republic. His country
is in a desperate condition. Its treas
ury is empty, it's on the verge of wal
with Nicamala, and If it wasn't for
the hot weather the people would be
starting revolutions in every town.
Here is a nation goes on Wainwright.
'on the brink of destruction. A man
of intelligence could rescue it from its
impending doom in one day by issuing
the necessary edicts and orders. Pres
ident Gomez knows nothing of states
manship or policy. Do you know Adam
Smith,
"Lemme see,' says 1. There was a
n cared man named Smith In Fort
Worth, Tex, but l think his first name
was
az am referring to the political econ
omist,' says Wainwright.
~"'S'mother Smith, then,' says l.
The one l speak of never was ar
rested
$50 Wainwright boils some more
with Indignation at the insensibility of
people who are not corpulent to fill
public positions, and then he tells me he
is going out to the presidents summer
palace, which is four miles from Aguas
Frescas, to instruct him in the art of
running steam heated republics.
"'Come along with me, Trotter,'
says he, and I'll show you what brains
can do
"tAnything In itT l asks.
1.-THE satisfaction says he, of re-
deeming a country of 100000 popula-
ton from ruin back to prosperity and
peace
"fGreat! says I. I'll go with you.
I'd prefer to eat a live broiled lobster
just now, but give me liberty as second
choice if 1 can't be in at the death
wainwright and me permeates
through the town, and he halts at a
rum ~dispensary.
Have you any money! he asks.
81 have says l, fishing out my sill
yer dollar. 4 always go about with
adequate sums of money
"Then We'll drink says Vain
wright.
".Not me- says 1. Not any demon
rum or any of It's rami1cations for
mine. It's one Of my non-weaknesses.'
cts my falling says he. What's
your particular soft point?'
- "Industry,' says l promptly. I'm
Woodworking, diligent, Industrious and
energetic
my dear Mr.. Trotter,' says he,
surely I've known you long enough to
tell you you are a liar. Every man
must have his W particular weakness
and his own particular strength in 9TH
er things. Now you will buy me a
drink of rum, and we will call on Presi-
dent Gomez
well, sir" Trotter went on I'VE
walks the four miles out, through a
virgin conservatory of palms and ferns
oA1o LII 4OO1 Sd1bNh P1Ohu1loy ~ InG
presidents summer White House. 1t
was blue and reminded you of what
you see on the stage In the third act.
which they describe as same as the
first on the programs.
"There was more than fifty people
waiting outside the iron fence that sur
rounded the house and grounds. There
was generals, agitators and epergnes
In gold lace uniforms and citizens
In diamonds and panama hats, all
waiting to get an audience with the roy
al five card draw. And In a kind of a
summer house In front of the mansion
we could see a burned sienna man eat
ing breakfast out of gold dishes and
taking his time. l judged that the
crowd outside had come out for their
morning orders and requests and was
afraid to intrude.
But C. Wainwright wasn't. The
gate was open, and he walked inside
and up to the presidents table as conf
dent as a man who knows the head
waiter in a fifteen cent restaurant.
And l went with him because l had
only rs cents, and there was nothing
else to do.
1.-The Gomez nan rises from his chair
and looks, colored man as he was, like
he was about to call out for corporal of
the guard, post No. 1. But Wainwright
says some phrases to him in a peculiar
ly lubricating manner, and the first
thing you know we was all three of us
seated at the table, with coffee and
rolls and iguana outlets coming as fast
as about ninety poems could rustic EN-.
"And then Wainwright begins to
talk, but the president interrupts him.
"'You Yankees says he, polite, as
suredly take the cake for assurance, l
assure YOU or words to that effect,
He spoke English better than you or
me. You've had a long walk says
he, but it's nicer in the cool morning
to walk than to ride. May l suggest
soma p~afraSbmantS9 SAWS hn