davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10
. o o o o o o 90 o o o o
o CRAZY CORNER O

o o o o 90 o o o
o CRAZY CORNER O
o o o o o 90 o o
Mamma said small Dorothy,
who was giving a dinner party to
some of her little playmates, shall
we say grace?"
''No, DEAR replied the mother,
cit will be an informal affair, so
you can omit it,"
Later Dorothy explained to her
guests that as it was an 'infernal"
dinner they would "cut out the
grace"
The teacher, a woman of uncer-
tain age, was having hard time
teaching Johnny the names of the
kings of England.
"Why, when I was your age"
she said disgustedly, II could re-
cite the name of the kings back
ward and forward"
Yes'm," said Johnny, "but when
you was my age there wasn't so
many kings
Let us remember that one can
not expect "old heads on young
shoulders" and let us therefore
treat the coming man justly and
fairly, so that the soul that is
dn him may have opportunity for
growth in favorable soil. 1t is a
great responsibility to have the
care and direction of the man of
tomorrow.
Indiana is setting pace for the
other corn producing states in her
efforts to improve the quality of her
corn. Her latest innovation lis One
Hundred Bushel club---every man
who raises five acres of corn that
average 100 bushels to the acre,
is eligible to membership.
Are there any children here?"
suavely asked the agent at the
door,
Not unless you count me-" re-
piled old Hostetter Harsh. 81 am
in my second childhood, and some
times buy from agents.
Ii Accomplished
"Can that parrot talk?" asked
the prospective customer.
Talk" replied the bird dealer.
"Well, say, he talks just like a
human. He can tell some OF the
dangedest Ford stories you ever
heard in your life"
Nve-year-old Frank was of an
inquiring turn of mind, and one
day he went 10 his mother and
said:
Mamma, what am / made OFF,
Why, dearie, the Bible says
you are made of dust
well, then, mamma, should
L
would get awfully muddy inside
when | drink. IS. S Clarke.
Little Edith, aged seven, had a
pet cat of whom she was very
fond. While feeding him one day
at the table, she was reproved by
her father, who told her that the
cat must wait until later. Much
disturbed, Edith wept and said:
II think it's a shame, just be-
cause she's a poor dumb animal, to
treat her like servant girl"
Still speaks He in the roaring of
the sea. !.
Still quickens He the urge of
mans desire.
Broods Ger the world the eternal
mystery.
Still is the breathing God liy-
ing fire.
Florence Kiper.
Peddlar---I have a most valuable
book to sell madam; it tells one
how to do anything.
Lady (sarcastically--Does it tell
one how to get rid of a psetering
peddler?
Peddler promptly yes,
madam. Buy something from him.
A young lady, nursing and talk
ing to pet dog on the trolley.
asked the conductor to stop at a
certain point. When he did so she
went to the platform and stood
gesticulating with the dog in hen
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10
Accomplished

Acco emphasized.
Can that parrot talk?" asked
the prospective customer.
Talk" replied the bird dealer.
"Well, say, he talks just like
human. He can tell some of the
dangedest Ford stories you ever
heard in your life"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

Danville, Ill.--A mad dog rushed
into the home of Louis Smith, G.
verturned some of the furniture
and knocked the telephone from
the table. The receiver fell from
the hook, and when the operator
heard the dogs bowling she call
ed the police who came and killed
the beast.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

| ODD BITS OF NEWS
Morgantown, w. Va.-Twenty years
ago Lewis M. Bunner left home for
Washington to patent device. He
had never been heard from since
until recently, when he returned
home. His wife who had always
said he would come back welcomed
him with open arms.
Cottage Grove, Ore.--Bert Nokes
set hen and then decided to
move to Spokane, 500 miles dis
tant. He shipped biddy, her nest
and all, by express, and twelve of
the fourteen eggs Matched.
Rulo, Neb.-Years ago Arthur
Lyle, a fisherman, located his hut
on small sand bar lying near the
Missouri shore. Dirt washed onto
the bar, and now it is the size of
two sections. Lyle turned farmer
and has made small fortune.
Neither Missouri nor Nebraska. de-
mand taxes of him, but he cannot
vote as his holdings are regarded
as under the jurisdiction of the
national government He has resdd-
ed on the land % years.
Wichita, Kas.--Whenever Mrs. Lous
e. Fisher tries to telephone, her
right arm and side become numb
and she becomes unconscious. Her
affliction is case Of nerves. Sew
eral years ago she received a shock
while telephoning.
| Elkins. w. Va.--Wild hogs rush
ed down the moutains and into
the home of Sanford Phillips in
the foothills, where they attacked
Phillips two-year old son. The
child, frightened, rushed to the
corner where mirror hung. When
the hogs saw their reflections in
the mirror, they became panic
stricken and rushed back to the
hills, leaving the child uninjured.
Hillsdale, Mich.-At social in
the Adams schoolhouse at Cam
br1a township, the women stuck
their toes through holes in a sheet.
and men bought them for the even
ing. The sale Melted the school
i $3.50.
| Danyille, Ill.--A mad dog rushed
into the home of Louis Smith. C.
verturned some of the furniture
and knocked the telephone from
the table. The receiver fell from
the hook, and when the operator
( heard the dogs bowling she call
ed the police who came and killed
the beast.
Indiana, Pa.--Someone put a
hen in the back Of j. IL. Stewards
buggy and closed the flap. Twenty
Two days later Stewart opened the
flap and found the hen reduced to
a skeleton but still living. 1t will
recover.
Columbus, O.-An apple pie
which won a prize of a bushel OF
apples at the o. S. U. apple show.
was baked by five-year-old cook
ing marvel, Esther Rae johnson
She was pitted in the contest with
seyenty-fiye housewives and one
man. The prize was a special one
awarded for the excellent cooking.
Neville, Pa.--Mary Murphy, tear
ing mattress apart to throw away,
found her mothers will which
had been lost and $4,000 in Sc
curities hidden in the cotton. The
Will has been admitted to probate.
1t leaves the entire estate to the
finder of the securities and will.
| Mo nh
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

Still speaks He in the roaring of
the sea- !.
Still quickens He the urge of
mans desire.
Broods Ger the world the eternal
mystery.
Still is the breathing God liv-
ing fire.
Florence Kiper.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

o o o o o 90 o 90 o Q
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

Five-year-old Frank was of an
inquiring turn of mind, and one
day he went 10 his mother and
said: ;.
Mamma, what am l made OFF,"
Why. dearie, the Bible says
you are made of DUST
well, then, mamma, should
think that if l am made of dust l
would get awfully muddy inside
when | drink. IS. S Clarke.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

Little Edith, aged seven. had a
pet cat of whom she was very
fond. While feeding him one day
at the table, she was reproved by
her father, who told her that the
cat must wait until later. Much
disturbed, Edith wept and said:
II think it's shame, just be-
cause she's a poor dumb animal, to
treat her like a servant girl"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1916-02-10

Hillsdale, Mich.-At a social in
the Adams schoolhouse at Cam
bria township, the women stuck
their toes through holes in a sheet
and men bought them for the even
ing. The sale Melted the school
$3.50.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24
HORSE PREPAREDNESS is
THEME AT MILITIA CAMP
Local Cavalrymen Among Those
Given instruction by Regu-
lars at Radio, Va.

instruction In how to keep their
horses prepared is being received this
afternoon by the militia cavalrymen
from the District of Columbia, Penn
sylvania, New Jersey and Delaware,
who are in camp near Radio. Va, with
the regular army cavalrymen. The
lecture is being given by one of the
regular veterinarians at the camp, and
the men are being told in every detail
what to do In the field to keep their
mounts in the best Of shape for all
kinds of service.
In the early morning the usual rou-
tine of stables" and mounted drill was
followed. Later the entire class was
taken out in the countryside and given
instruction ir fire control, that is, the
method of controlling the firing in ac-
tual battle. While no ball cartridges
were used, the students will be given
an opportunity later in thAweek to
use ball cartridges in their practice.
In the early afternoon the class was
given instruction in equitation, and
half of the students in the camp were
taken out on tactical ride for the pur-
pose of working tactical problems in
handling cavalry under campaign con-
Ciitions.
Maj. Louis T. Hess. Medical Corps. U.
s. A. is scheduled to deliver a lecture
this evening on military hygiene.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

A watch requires IT'S separate parts.
more than 2.400 operations being nee
essary in its manufacture
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

So" The item was passed over until
the last thing in the day. when the bill
was amended by the addition of these
words: Thereafter no attorney for the
District of Columbia shall retain any
attorney fee taxed as costs in any It'll
cation in which the District of Column
bia is party"
Representative Cox of Indiana. whose
entire career in Congress has been
marked by his annual attempts to
block well deserved increases in pay
for government employees. made a
point of order against the increases
carried in the bill for the public IL
brarian. the assistant librarian and the
chief of the circulating department of
the Public Library. Chairman Page
endeavored to dissuade Representative
Cox. but without avail. The increases
were taken from the bill, and an at
tempt to restore them will be made in
the Senate.
Representative Mondell offered an
amendment which was rejected by
vote. to place in the bill $4,000 esti-
mated for by the Commissioners for
the repair and improvements of the
Eastern, Western and Farmers mar
ketS.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

Under the direction of Bertram Bloch
of New York and Mrs. Glenna Smith
Tinnin of this city the Drama League
players will present at the Mckinley
High School. 7th street and Rhode
Island avenue northwest. Friday and
Saturday evenings at sis o'clock, four
playlets of varied selection, requiring
versatility In production. They are
Maiden Over Wall" by Mr.. Bloch:
Joint Owners in Spain,' by Alice
Brown; Riders to the Sea-" by J. NJ.
Synge." and The Lost Silk Hat" by
Lord Dunsany.
Maiden Over-the-Wall," which will
be given Its first local presentation. is
the work of Mr.. Bloch. who has for
years been in charge of the dramatic
work at the University Settlement
House, the oldest and largest institu-
ton of its character in New York. 1t
is described as a charming fantasy, and
will be presented by Miss Dorothy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24
Autos Damaged in Crashes.

While turning south at 18th and v
streets northwest last night, an auto
mobile belonging to Mrs. j. E Hurley,
Highland apartments. skidded against
a street car. Damage to the automo-
bile amounted to SIS. The street car
was only slightly damaged.
An automobile belonging to ". F..
Roberts, 1913 New York avenue north
west, last night ran into the porch of
a vacant house on Canal road. Occu-
pants of the machine were not hurt,
but the porch and machine We're dam
aged.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

left Moots drove t town t'dav
t git tn border news, an Incl
dentallv bolt O barbed wire.
Tell Binklev has decided not t
run fer sheriff. so his party is
lookin fer strong man. t be
TIL goat.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

nounced as evidence Of the determine
ton Of the Washington Branch of the
Drama League to inaugurate at the
National Capital little theater." G.
A. Lyon, chairman of the players
group" of the league. states that
these plays are only the forerunners of
many plays to come. whose produce
ton will be freed entirely from the
commercial spirit and solely for the
love of the art and the education OF the
public.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24
To Hear Encampment Report.

The executive committee of the citi-
zens' committee which arranged for the
g. A. f. encampment in this city last
fall is to meet at the Washington
Chamber Of Commerce at 11:45 a m. to-
morrow to hear the auditors report and
to close up. if possible. all ma tiers con-
nected with the encampment
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24
Army Men Not to Participate.

Announcement is made by the War
Department that the national small
under the usual regulations. but that
by reason of the exigencies Of the
service. without participation therein
by any teams, officers or enlisted men
of the regular army"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

Amended Late in the Day.
IT am advised that this is done con-
although it is contrary to law to do
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

Information Furnished by Citizens.
There can be no doubt. gentlemen
of this committee, that the power con-
ferred upon this select committee. to
determine the proportionate amount of
contribution contained the general
power of informing the House whether
or not any proportionate contribution
could be authorized by the evidence
This committee was in session for two
months. and we heard very carefully
every one who presented himself to
give information as to the state of af-
fairs within the city of Washington
and the District of Columbia. l am
very happy to say that a great contri-
button of information was afforded by
the representatives of the citizens
committees of the city of Washington"
When the bill was taken up for de-
tailed discussion under the five-minute
rule, Representative Johnson of Ken
lucky repeated his attack on the insur-
ance department, made for the first
time in the previous Congress. Rep
resentative Johnson again charged
Supt. NesbittSwith conniving at an al
legged increase of rates of insurance in
the District.
should be placed in the bill to prevent
ants taking as part of their compensa-
ton part Of the costs which are assess
ed in a suit. He had with him a check
which he said had been paid to one of
the assistant corporation counsels.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

Take car any line. from any place in the
city. Get of the Connecticut avenue cars at
Columbia road and Ontario place.
Get OF the Capital Traction cars at 18th
and Columbia road walk square east to
Ontario road.
Ontario road extends north from Columbia
road. between 18th and 18th streets northwest
This house is about one-half square north OF
Columbia road
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24
Strikes Note Of Tragedy.

The note of tragedy is struck by J. NJ.
Synge's Riders to the Sea-" recog-
nized masterpiece of one-act plays, the
scene of which is laid at the Island
Of Inishmaan, Ireland. Miss Edna Ell
lis will appear in the role of Maurya.
Miss Aimee Truan as Cathleen, Miss
Louise Wood as Nora and Graham
Hughes as BARLEY, the only mas
uuline role in the cast.
The production of these plays Is an
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24

Keen and Miss Mildred Anderson. as
the maiden and the dragon. respective.
ly, and Mr.. Bloch as a young wall
climber in search of adventure. Mrs.
Tinnin has been in charge of the re-
hearsals of this fantastic fairy tale.
Huumor in "Lost Silk Hat"
The humorous element will be sup
piled by Lord Dunsany's THE Lost SILK
Hat" which has for its scene fash
ionable London street and requires
caller" clerk, a laborer. poet and
policeman, who will be impersonated
by G. A. Lyon. Willis B; Rice. W
Bowyer Pain. DIR. Paul B. Merica and
Richard C. De Wolfe.
Joint Owners in Spain," by Alice
Brown, is described as character
study of certain inmates of a home
for old women. Miss Laura Vessels
will play the part of the fearful and
fearful Miss Dyer. who wishes she
had died in her cradle along OF her
father and mother; Miss Kathryn
Drain will be the cantankerous Mrs.
Blair; Mrs. George Mosshart. the
matron, and Miss Sara Koenfgsberger,
another inmate, Miss Fullerton.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1916-05-24
SPIRITUALISTS.

MRS J. E. MALTBY. SPIRITUAL MEDITTM
1112 10th st. NV. Meetings, Mon. 80 m !:
Wed, pm. and Fri, 80 pm, 25c. A mes
sage TO each. Daily readings. 81. North S2aa
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-03-10
"rin 1IuiE NsIcNIrIC\>CT.'

our good Brother Taylor of the
Dallas News has the happy faculty
of saying things in little different
manner from that employed 10y the
ordinary writer WVlikc To read his
productions and find our own idUs
clothed in lansuagc that gives il an
added charm and wcu-hnown truths
togsed out in unexpected and uncon-
N'"u"h"l h'uil''h'h's h'olh'r IaN-
''' Is an "'''nt defender ol the pr''i.
o'h'' ana Is especially pleased at Mt
Ni'"h $ triumph over the recent hNS-
''''' In congress Ihe political
Nlr'ncS and personal force of Wood
row Wilson, NE says. never shonc
so r'spiendautiy as at the iuncture
whom he firmly held 4 bramstormcd
congress In the hollow OF his hand
ana compelled the panic-strickcn
"la'm'sIs to peel their msIgnIficanco
in fun view of the nation But q
man does not have TO be supporter
90 the president to see the beauty o.
Nr Wilson's triumph nor to symp1-
th,1c with and admire him for the
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-03-10

oaII, fan of IN, ,arruuz., ,,ycrumopi
IL freely predicted ana nothing can
| hc iuroao.n but violence ana anarchy
H. the future II Is NOT po much that
but the de fnrto rn,o,rmont Ia hnnI,.
Irrpt ana ,,ithout uuv financial re
rourrc Mr. wilson coi,ld rocoppiye
Cuianla and rive him a politlc,l
STANDING. but ne ,ould moi mn,,o
American banker. loan the money 10
pa, him ON his feet The host of hts
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-03-10
MUST TAKE TnEIK MEDICINI;

Politicians are free to confess. wlth
oui regard 10 political views. that a.
this furoro OF investigating the record
%, Louis -. Brnndcis be- q piece of per.
functory formalism The impression
ia gannE ground that Nj Wilson m
tends for the ioatou lawyer to sit on
| th, supreme bench. and that the find
! ings ~ the Investigators can only
make II easier or harder to secure his
continuation. Enough has bcDu
shown many times over To- demon
ailalc the appointoGs mntncss for
the place. although much of the cyi.
doncc dagmst hun has helped ha
cause In popular estimation. Nothmp
,' criminal nature has been urged
against him. but the consensus ~
opinion is mat the man ~ not 10 bo
trusted The judiciary committee. Of
course. is not sitting as n criminal
court. neither Is II trying prisoner
at the bar. Its function TX essen
tiplly 10 pass upon the fitness of this
man 10 be made life member OF the
highest Judicial tribunal In the laul.
There is no question of his ability. but
lac lacks IN great measure that de
gree Of public confidence which is cs.
scuual To clothc the supreme court
with the dignity and effectiveness
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-03-10
We Copied This.

The Kew York Ilippodromc wl-
packed to the roof with live hundred
persons seated on the stage thou
sans were turned away last SUNDAY
night to see Charlie Chaplin in the
flesh. The receipts were $4,000.
Charlie Chapln's share going to the
Actors fund. WithOu the funny little
mustachc and the crooked little cane
ana the black baggy trousers, wearing
instead dinner coat, Chaplin walked
on the stage and although, as he said
lie tried To be serious. he was ~ FUN
ny rs ever and brought down the
house whatever he did.
Tom Wise introduced him and for
got his name and had to hunt all over
his expensive waistcoat before he
could find II. Then the movie COM
edian came out ana put Sousa's band
through the Poet and Peasant" over
ture in spirited fashion, and followed
1t up with "a composition of his own
called The Peace Patrol. lie was
vociferously applaudcd for nearly live
minutes with ccVry man in the band
joining, and then he made a little
speech.
THANK YOU" said Chaplin. I'll |
could talk like TONI Wise | would
give up motion pictures at once, but
| can't. and I'm scared to death at this
very minute with stage fright"
That was all there was to it yet
ccNrybody was satisfied.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-03-10
PERSONALS AND
RAILROAD NOTES

H. q. O'poll, traiumaster Of the
NJ. Is. 4 r. railroad. at Muskogee
was IN the city yesterday looking over
the ground in preparation for new
traCkaga which is TO be installed in
the local Katy yards in the near fu-
ture. The Katy has just finished
tracks to the Parker Washington
company but this will he in the nature
of general switching space.
w. \. Muse. travelling passenger
agent of the Seahoard Air Line. with
headquarters at Memphis, Tenn,
spent few hours in Tulsa yesterday.
+. L. Howard, travelling freight
agent of the Katy, out of Parsons,
Kan. stopped over in the city yes
terday.
C. +. Smith. commercial agent ~
the l.. X. & n, with headquarters at
Oklahoma City. was in the city yes
terday on business.
J. +. Ayres, travelling demurrase
superintendent of the Frisco. out of
Springfield, Mo, visited Tulsa. yes
terday.
A. c. Thompson of Kansas city
made the rounds of the local offices
yesterday in his official capacity OF
travelling passenger agent of the Big
-Four.
f. II. Palmer, travelling freight
agent of the Chicago " Alton, with
headquarters at Kansas City, was in
the city yesterday.
c. n. Wilson of Kansas City. tray-
cling passenger agent OF the Grand
Trunk line, was a Tulsa visitor yes.
tcrday.
Eugene Mock, general freight md
passenger agent of the Midland Val
ley at Muskogee. passed through Tul-
81 yesterday.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1916-03-10
"Glad to Get Out of
That HE'LL" Says a
German Prisoner

PARIS, March IA p. m)-
Prisoners taken at Verdun esti-
mate the losses of the battalions
which took part In infantry as
saults since February % at an
average of two-thirds of their to-
tai strength.
our officers promised us"
said one. that cannon would
clear the way for us so that we
could occupy the French lines al
most without loss. We believed
also that at each stage of our ad-
vance new artillery preparation
would enable us to continue with
out great risk. Instead our bat
talon under unheard of fro
from field guns and machine
guns for hours together was cut
TO pieces. The effort we made
passed all measures Of human
strength. That is why the march
on Nerdun failed"
a German soldier belonging to
the SiXty-fourth infantry said:
our battalion started from its
position in the woods on the
night of March 2 with orders to
occupy an earthWork to the
east of Fort Douaumont. Sudden
ly some one called here come the
French,' The shock was so i'm
petuous that it overwhelmed our
lines. ] fell into hole made by a
shell and lay there all night list
oning to the calls of the wound
ed for stretcher bearers. The
moans ended in the death rattle.
There can scarcely be any
thing left of my company. 1t
had already lost one-fourth of its
numbers in the fighting from
February 81 to February "a. This
was the finish"
Another German. n member of
the 2ith regiment said:
81 was glad to get out of that
hell, our spirits were pretty
low in all the division because We
felt that the work OF taking Yer
dun would have TO be begun all
over again"