The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1916-01-18
Colonel Bunker
BY NJ. QUAD
Copyright, 1915. by tho Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
By NJ. QUAD

nel Bunker as he sat looking out of the
Window WAS just thinking OF an
incident in my early career us duel
list. In fact. sub. when this thing came
about | had not yet drawn my rapier
on the field of honoh. In the southern
town where | first hung out my shin
gle as lawyer were dozen gay
bucks of young men. and was one OF
them.
I'VE were sports. sub. We rode, we
gambled. and we staggered. We talk
ed about our honoh. and we took no
advice from our elders.
ut was wonder we kept clear of
the duello among our own selves, for
we were hotheads. But destiny had
| something laid up for us, and at the
proper time we learned what 1t was
When dapper little man dropped into
the town one day and gave his name
as Professor Mayne and explained that
he was something of naturalist we
had no idea that his coat covered des-
tiny.
1T was about week after the pro-
fessor's arrival, and none of us young
blades had made his acquaintance yet
when six of us sat on the tavern veran-
da of a summers evening arranging
fox hunt. when the stranger appeared
among us, and. looking directly at me,
he asked:
MAY | have the honoh of asking
your nameY
81 gave it as Bunker, of co'se.
Bunker? BunkerT he repeated
Did you evab spell 1t with an H?'
"'Suh! sub! What do you meanr
"'Was the name originally JunkerT
"Egad. sub. the man was deliberately
insulting me!
81 always thought l carried things
off very well for first time. raised
my hat. handed him my card and turn
ed away. He received it with a bow
and also turned.
There you were, suh-there you
were! A duel for sunrise was arranged
for within an hour, and l was hero.
could professor Of natural his
tory handle rapier Ike a young buck
who was always at it?
"NO, of co'se not, and | should play
with him. Should kill or only wound
him2 That question could wait and
be settled after the blades had crossed.
The most / had to fear. as my friends
told me and as l firmly believed my
self, was that the professor would Ell
ther send an abject apology or sneak
away during the night. He did nei-
ther. however
1--WE talked the matter over, and all
the bucks thought | ought to run the
professor through the heart and thus
at once establish my reputation. but
! decided that wound that would lay
him up about six weeks would do.
st was only when the word had been
given and our blades had crossed that
l found out ! had caught tartar.
Why, sub. the professor made me look
like 10 cents! He disarmed me twice
in ten minutes. He could have killed
me during the next five. but lie stayed
his hand
AT length. after humiliating me for
The best part of half an hour, he rink
ed me in the shoulder and | was out of
It. l wept bitter tears as the surgeon
dressed my wound. The young bucks
didn't know what to make of It, but
agreed that they must find excnse to
challenge the professor until some one
had landed him.
"Egad. sub, they didn't have to 90
hunting far for excuses. He brought
them along and laid them at the feet
OF thoSe WHO waited. He stopped Dick
Bascoinb on the street and politely said
to him:
".Suh, nature has made mistake In
your case.
what do you mean, subj asked
Dick.
That your nose is screwed on
crooked.
"'Suh. you must answer for this in
sultr
Yours TO command
"A second duel, you see. sub, and
with the same weapons. wasn't
there to see. but they told me that he
made bigger monkey Of Dick Bas-
comb than he did of me. When he
had made show of him long enough
he gave him the Point in the same
shoulder he had me and walked away
whistling.
I'VE had sensation in that town
now and for fifty miles beyond it. The
professor had made two victims and
was liable to make others. but there
wasn't much feeling against him nor
much sympathy for those who had felt
his steel.
"JOe Beaumont was to be his third
1t was rapiers again. l rode to the
grounds to see the duel. Joe went at
It from the first like butcher with a
long knife aad was disarmed every
other minute He got so mad that he
cried ike boy
1T was the same old wounded
in the same shauiler.
''Three smart bucks Three duels.
"Three arms in three slings.
Three Of us trying to explain why
it wasn't the other fellow who was
pinSed.
. 1T was humsliating, sub. and yet it
WAS the DTODer remedy II hpolra IN