The Washington times., 1916-09-30

Making a Hit
BY ALMA WOODWARD.
IN A TRAIN.

ness Mems local. into New York.
(Mr. A. and Mr.. B.. not the clear
eyed. brisk-steppinK business men that
Of. but rather half comstose, from UNI
slept sleep. and cloudy as TO enuncia-
tion, have decided not to hold animated
conversation. Mr.. A. unfurls the morn
news Mr.. b. consuits market reports
agssnst the day when he's going TO
plunge ten dollars worthy
AR. A. .(smothering a yawn)-If
MI this road doesn't run nearer TO
Avn schedule next year I'm going
to build on the Q. q X. We've been
standing here full minute-no wonder
we're late getting In every morning.
Mr.. b. tgioating over Steel quota
tions)-Eh. huh.
Mr.. A. I'm the mood for picking on
peopie>--You don't care. do your Your
nerves never get TO the straining point.
A. long asIyour oatmeal isn't burned
Fin the morning. you ride into town on
la rainbow. Gee. wouldn't be fke you
for q million dollars-no pepl
Mr.. d. mildly expostuisting)-Aw:
| "a lady. very much doiled up and
Bearing all sorts and conditions bf I'm
pediments. enters the car and takes the
seat ahead of them. She settles into
Il like q prcening bird. A faint breath
| Of Jack roses filis the sar.)
Mr.. A. (nudgiDg Mr.. b. significantly
Some queen!
Mr.. d. uakinE a good look)-Means
nothing In my life.
Mr.. A. (suddenly)-oh, look! She's
dropped one OF those packages. Here's
where I enter. at lower right. and walk
upstage.
Mr.. Il. Quitting a protective hand on
his arm)-Desist. II you take my ad-
vice you won't pick up that package:
Il IN a forerunner OF what will come
after. That lady 10 going 20 drop ev-
cry package she brought In here--she's
the mouiting kind. You'll get rcd In
the face. hit your head against the seat.
strain the buttons Of your too-tisht vest
and generally court apopiexy all for
nothing. ~
(Mr. A. rises, captures the package,
hands II to the lady with flourish OF
his new fall bonnet. She does more
than smile. She giggias. Her giGgie u
moro divine than her smile. Mr.. A.
II plainly intoxicated. The lady drops
another package and Mr.. A. plays ar
encore. Then he sits down,
Mr. B. (caustically. from one corner
OF his mouth)-If mother could see you
now!
Mr.. A. CAUTIOUSLY oblivious)-oh. look
} She wants the window open. She
!, can't possibly open that window. III
J open II for her. Crises and leans for
ward over the seatJ VIII you allow
:. Lady 1oosing another divine gissie)--
l It's stuck or something. Usually I nevel
have any trouble. ~.
Mr.. b. tsotto voce)-she's another
That's her stock in Undesirable will
CMr. A. begins to tug at the resistih.
member)
Mr.. A lin a choked voiee)-This. SEEM
70 be a very obstreperous window. Blu
I'll get II In n minute.
Voice Urom another seat)-Pound OF
the sides and loosen tits stuck.
Mr.. A. I'm disgust)-I know It's stuck
CHe pounds loudly. injurins his knuck
tes.)
Lady (sweetiy)-when our windows a
home stick we put little butter in tn
l cracks-sort Of grease II. you know.
Mr.. A. (obviously)-I have no butte
Z with me. Maybe you'll allow me Z
= get in that seat-ril be able to manas
9 Voice Cstili another)-Are you squeez
Q ing that little brass catch at the SIDE
r No matter how you pull Il won't opel
I Mr.. <. almost speechlessl-I kno!
y how 10 do II ali right but II doesn'
I work. Now II you'll just allow me Z
r kneel on the seat I'll get a surer pur
r chase on it-then I'm sure It'll open.
Lady (softly)-rm awfully sorry I
! put YOU to so much trouble. really. bu
suffocate II I don't have the windo'
E open.
Mr.. p. very cautiously)-Let her sui
focate.
: (The conductor comes down the aisle
o He surveys the scene. A saturnin
| smoker issues from his lipe) 3d..
Conductor with glee)-Tve been
q window ai7't opened yet! The man VII
: built the car was a joker, guess. IN
. iady'd better take another seat:
: Mr.. r. Gas Mr.. 4. sinks into the sea
3 n wreck)-I told you
J! Mr.. A. (expressivciy)-
Copyright, 1861