Evening journal., 1916-06-01


mykrats 10 give up their weppins. Pm
expecktin sum akshun in Washington
emmy day now. wisht had Chansy
Holkum yeor about this time in an ad-
visery kapasity. Things hain't gone
altogether rite sence Willerd Shang-
hied him an sent him TO Chinee. III
we kud have him here this yeer we
kud yoos him to handil the Chinees
vote fer the outlook is that we shall
need hit mitey bad"
I sez. els yore orginizashun all
rite?" lie sez. tiiit's betteru nit wuz
wen Tom Byerd handed hit over TO me-
but hit hain't wot hit awt to be- Yu
reckognizc. Of korse, that wen a thing
gifts all run down hit takes time fer
even an efiishensy eckspert like me
10 bid hit up agin. got
to ihinkin' abowt our ballit en-
blim a day or two ago an went out to
look at the plOw. I found the handils
bustid. the point snapped off, the coul-
ter missin'. the beam rOttin' at wun
end the share all notched an the
hole derned thing rustid up. Bein'
neer the outbldin's ] decided 10
take a look at the party mule ! found
he wuz ring-bOned, spawned an man
gy Besides. he wuz sufferin' frum
thrush. skratches, kOrns. wolf teeth
an distemper. Wun OF his hip iints
had slipped down, his tail an his wind
wuz broke an he wuz suilerin' frum
string halt in all four legs. lie wuz
the dernedest lookin site yu ever
seen. even fer Dimmykratlk mule.
Hit made me mad l went in to Tom
an ! Sod. You've bin wun helluva
hosler ~ we wuz TO hitch that there
mule Of ourn to that there plow Of
ourn an try 10 wurk the poltikel
feeld with them we kudn't mash down
the mik-weeds, let alone tern a fer
row. Ef I'd a-knowed as how that
there mule an that there plow wuz
in sech bad shape. Willerd never wud
have wisht on me this yeer Job or
helm Stait Cheerman, fer | want yu
10 distinktly understand that hits
heiltu Iced a forlorn hope even wen
yu've got tho rite kind of a mule an
the rite kind Of plow to du the wurk
with. I've bin loOkln over the sityooa-
shun an I have konkluded that ef we
are TO win ennything this Fall we've
got TO substitoot q gang-plow fer that
ballit emblm you've got out there an
git trakter to take the place OF that
bustld-up mule. Hit looks TO me as
Of Tom Monnigin an Peet Ford has
hin devlin' the life outten hit Tom
didn't say nuthin. Bill, fer he knows
as how he hain't bin tendin' to that
mule rite an that he's let that plow
stand out in all kinds Of wind an
wether until hit wud be necessary to
pay junk man to take hit away. I'm
lookin' now fer a sootabil gang-plow
an trakter."
7 sez. "Our old, familyer an es-
teemed friend, Henry p. Skott, re-
sently tried out on his farm neer Ry-
bold wot he kalled tiller. Hit wuz
| a kombnashun trakter an big set OF
hooks that ripped hell outten
things as hit wuz hawled along.
/ Kudn't .yu yoos wun OF them TIL
ers In TIE kampane this Fall?' He
sez. mo: fer ef put hit at wurk in
the Dimmykratick feeld God knows
wot hit wud tern up There's sum
things in the Dimmykratick history
Of this yeer Stait that had better be
kept berried.'
sez. "How's Jim Salsberry gittin'
along as Sitty CheermanY lie sez
"Bnl. that's sumthin else that has bin
wisht on me an that I've got to kar-
~ throo this yeer kampane. be-
leeve sumthin' wuz sed about lemmin
few mlnnits ago. Hits bad enuf TO
have wun handed to yoO, but wen
/ Willerd loads hole box OF choice
/ froot ON yore shoulders an sez, 'Ad-
vance on the entertainments Of the
ennymyn hits time fer me TO hawk,
remember that It's a helluva Job 10
Iced forlorn hope wen yu hain't got
nrthin but Dimmykratick lemmins
fer amyoonishen."
Mary Ann there WIZ teers I'm that
fellers eyes as he termed frum me
an heddid fer Dlmmykratik hedkwar.
ters Even ef am Republican. I felt
fer him. Tit wuznt kwite kleer tC
me wether he wuz weepin' fer the
plow. the mule or the general situa
shen SEE to misclf. "Thcre goes a
man hoo knows as how he is lickoC
before he begins TO hie. an yet he goes
into battle with teers in his eyes an
smile on his Ease a-leedin' the
Dimmykratink army rite up TO the
muzzles OF the derned Republican kan
min an a-yellin' at the ton of hi
voice Tho mules iammod up an In,
pillow is bustid. hut Willerd eXpeckt
every man TO du his dooty!" An a.
I sez hit. ! shets mi eyes 10 keep frun
ISeein the dredful slawter. I tell yu
Mary Ann. Harry's got in him the kin'
OF stuff OF wich heroWSi is maid Hit
a pity he's leedin ferlorn hope
hut hits the penelty he suffers fe
bein' a Dimmykrat i'm 1916
! CESS you'd better send me m
balbriggin underware by the mex
mail fer these yeer red flannels is no
only a-keepin' me all hct up bu
maxim mi outside shirts so red IN
phases that sum peepil don't seem Il
know wether I'm a walkin' dellygat'
fer the Butchers Yoonyun or a ser,
viver OF a Dimmykratlk argyoomen
down in the Therd ward. an beleev'
me 10 be.
Yore lovin' husbind.
Bill Jones.