davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

England and the United States An
nf th, preachers with the exception &C
FRANCIS A-uurt returned across M"
-.a Whtrrupun. september g. lsNi
john Wcsl,, ordained br ThuiuIt.
coke CO. no suucrintcudont or bishop
uf thc Methodist Societies ul tus
United states Of America. There 1ir
now twenty bishops and -'you WIs-
siouarN bishops serving M. Nothudist
Episcopal church throughout the
world The former age elected oy
general conference and located fot
which are Dies guatcd episcopal ros'-
dcuucs The latter are elected b> gene
cril conference for continuous serve
ice IN specific fields
Tho Methodist Episcopal church
was organized ut Baltimore. Mi az
the so-c1llcd Christmas conference.
December -. l5Ni To- january q. l1,5
At that time there were loI pr"lrh-
"rs aud tN. 600 commandment. There
are uoW over $4,000 preacher and
io83.Ig3 members In tho carly duNs
ct tn, Methodist church the stlary ct
"A preacher was SCI o. wurt.c' uo re-
criycd 90 similar umuuL, fur his wife.
with $lG for each child under six and
S22 for each child between SIS ana
eleven
Among the important taattors that
will como before the general confer
ouCc 90 saratoga springs ate the
questions concerning orgaulD Iutun
with the Methodist Episcopal Chufch,
south. which has beer under discus
sion With both of thps. imb1rtuut
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27
Vest Pocket ESSAYS
TIP PING
N GEORGE FITCH

HNCE upon a time a greedy man
went Oily 10 q banquet. and
when I've ,aW the tabfc hrapcd
up with good Things 10 eat b. hribcI
a waiter to iet him get nt II This was
a great success. when ~. other
guests arrived he was dead from
oyor-eating, With a smile ON hts face.
From thls incident arose the habit
Of tipping Tipping is an attempt TO
get than one foot Boa The trough.
Originally TIE tippCr paid a., waiter
10 feed him and neglect some other
chap. After that came m err when
men paid walters 90 protect them
selves against the ORIGINAL tipprrl.
Now ever u tipH Co protect him
self against the waiter Some OF ulr
first automobile owner. ere walters.
Tippinr is very seldom a sign of
horgisuNo.5 roy % is q sign OF Tim.
idity. We tip walters, por,crs, bell
boys and boCthlacks % purchase
their good opinion. Men Who don't
care a hang what their friends or
their country think OF them would
walk home Ten miles idther than On.
dure tho lrOwn o, an untippcd
waiter. They would refuse %loyously
10 contribute "a dollar to a church
fair, but IN the presence OF a check
boy AZ q hotel they are humble aud
anxious. II they do not tip tho
check boy al much n the last fellow
did, he wil! think them stingy. and
what Is lifo without the good opinion
OF Il check boy?
In America the tin Is n hold.up,
but In Europe II is an institution. Ike
~aristocrduy and the tourist. II IL
possible L. 20 through Europe with.
out tipping. just as II e. possible Ia
wade through twenty miles Of black
berry bushes. but neither feat IL
worth the EFFORT II must refrain
from tipping in Europe. a good plan
Is to hire "A stout young man aud
then pose as his valet, While he is
refusing O. tip and Is taking the
consequences, you can pick up your
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27
ELECTRIC VI ~ RG.ERY.

-HE war ha brought int boIuf
many ingenious pieces Of dI.
ptritu- designed 20 aid th'
surgeon boo h- dt'u,uIt work. says a
writer 100 th, London Timcs sot1'
OF these Instruments are much too
complicated 100 nc described ~ me
pages ct , lal journal, bat there are
otnors the value Of whicn can De APE
propiatcd readily by anyone
Among these is u bullet extractor
Introduced with the object Of iaci''.
tof.us what is often a tedious and
dIfnrult operation In the FIRST place.
the operation b. performed In the
DART the bullet aoiug 1,sitlo hy th'
shadow thrown hy N-rays In t''
.ooud place. the outlet mus, Dee &C..
moved with the least possible danger
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

growing n beard. you will be able to
live In perfect safety. and may even
forget IN time that somewhere a.
walter would curse your name II he
only knew Il.
Many nervous people do not know
whom 10 tip and whom not To tip.
The rule Is easy In the west, tip
everyone you are afraid Of. In chi.
cago, tip anyone who has done you "a
real service In New YORK. don't
bother tho tippce viii help himself.
In Europe, do not tip anyone with
u crOWn on.
Some Americans. who have spent
thousands of dollars buying love and
respect from ,ippees. have been sued
for divorce by their wives on the
grounds OF general cussedness.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

baggage and aaur'er carelcssly to
the train unscathed.
In America, II you are a bold man
and DO not care 60 tip, put on your
hat and walk away rapidly. SO that
you will leave that particular atIlos.
phere behind as quickly a. possible.
II you o. a Ilmid man. send the
waiter FOR "a glass OF water ana then
flee. Iy changing your name and
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

Those window Envelopes
Whane'er they hand my mail to ma
look IL over. quick,
As anxious as the deuce. to sec
II fate has played n trick
And sent me one with Widowed
side.
Tho address showing through.
I've always groaned when those Two
spied-
They tell me something's due!
X may be from the grocer man,
II may be from the plumber;
il may be for the lovely tan
Top-coat | bought last summer.
But whatsoever goods It's for.
II makes me shudder still
Those things with that Transparent.
door
Always contain a bill.
And so I look the letters DER
With fear down In my heart.
One may be from some grouchy
store
Down in the busy mart.
Such cowardice may be u sin,
But | admit II still
Those envelopes with windows In
Always contain a bill!
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

a man can interest n woman by
telling her he is going 10 be mar
ried. But no cannot interest her
by telling her that he Is married.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

Leila Constance Fcathoringham IL
chasing a Kansas city travelling man
so hard that there is some talk OF
compelling her to take out a hunt
er's license.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

JAY E House ~

One winter IS much like another
I'm the respect That there are too
many poor theatrical attractions on
the road.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27
EInnigin Eilosofy

Advice IL usually given 4 tn
yoong, be some ovid coot that tn
same advice was give to whin no
was a bye, an that he has carefully
saved be niver usin' ut 'msilf.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

Buck Kilby says when he was n
young mar his reputation was such
that the girls all called him tho
Python
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1916-04-27

Buck Kilby says most Of the out.
RACES over which We. the people,
grow indignant never happened.
Eph Wiley SAYS tho beat thing
about his neighborhood IL that tho
people do not give comets for Christ.
mas presents.
Jab Swisegood combats the theory
Of h Secretary Of Agriculture "a
the effect that a toad eats 1890
worth of flies and insects every year.
Jab says there are not $3.50 worth
Of flies and insects In the world.
Marriage also makes a man q
Santa Claus for life.
II Is understood that the Chicago
attorney who administered a 81. O00.-
900 estate for $4,000 was severe
ly disciplined by the Bar Asso-
citation for conduct unbecoming To
his profession.
One great objection 10 the rules
Of g~astronomy Is that the man who
bolts his oysters never finds a pearl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
Polite Fiction

From Judge.
 The great authors favorite hero gaze rron the favorite heroine with the hid eous ferocity of real love. You canno refuse me- he sniffled. My love is to great to he resisted
 She sneered. That is a mere epigram. "An epgram is an eternal crystallizatio of the truth
 ''Oh, no. An epgram is lie so we said that we wish it might be truth
 He began biting his nails in triumph least wish my love could overpower you.
 'I admit nothing'' She was cryptic mysterious, wonderful 'The price of od mission is more than I can pay
 He spoke like a man gone broke wit great emotion. Have you ever though what life would be without me?'
 Often. It is my fondest dream"
 You dismiss me, then?'
 No. I marry you. That's the end ( the story and l get rid of you.
 The hero laughed pitilessly. You car not escape so easily. We shall meet agai in our authors next story. He canno get along without us.''
 q suppose we must expect that. But 2 least we may be strangers for a few hun dred words before we begin this sort ( thing all over again. I have only or hope
 You hope you may some day lear to care for me?''
 Never. I hope our author may gt really new idea and chuck us both fol ever'' She resumed her pose of haught incompatibiity and the story went on.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
Social Duties

From JudSe.
 If you have time-and you have-you
 should sit down in your uneasy chair and
 contemplate your social duties. Catalog
 them first, grouping them under two
 heads that will occur to you, and then
 exercise your sense of humor
 After you have done this, you may
 resolve to reform-if you wish. But the
 sense of humor will be your real saliva
 ton. If it doesn't save you, you're a goner.
 Of all social duties you will find that your greatest and most loved is the composite one of keeping "hep" with somebody who is geared faster, socially and financially than you are. This is the duty that, properly respected. makes you fuss so ridiculously at the grocer and the landlord about the high cost of living.
 Another well recognized duty is that cf becoming prominently eo!icitous about the welfare of the heather at home and abroad. This is a costly duty that de- mands much sacrifice and domestic ac- tvity: but it is worthy for the heathen, who get one or two per cent of the af- fuence displayed, needs the money. There are many other social duties that are not worth mentioning, but it might do you good to think them over.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
A Family Separation
By JowEL TOWERS HEAD

Two little sprites who live in the air were very much excited over the news which reached their ears few days ago.
 Their family name is Gen, the little girl is Oxy Gen and the boy is Nitro Gen. The home of the sprites has been thing about in the atmosphere near the earth. and the two children are on most familiar terms with the inhabitants of the globe.
 "Oh! Oxy," said Nitro. am so wor- ried over what I have just heard.'' What is that?" inquired his sister.
 You know that talkative old fellow, General Conversation "Yes'
 Well, I heard him say that they are going to take nitrogen Chats me all right out of the air' Take you away from me- little brother! What shall I do? What else did he say? He didn't say much more, but I saw and then I heard man read aloud a report that Uncle Sam was going to es- tablish--"
 Uncle Sam who?" asked Oxy. Now, Oxy Gen, l am ashamed of you. As long as you have lived in America. don't you know yet that the people call the government Uncle Sam?" How very strange But hurry up and tell me all the man read. Give me time Oxy; as I was telling you, there will be a plant established for the very purpose of separating us. The man read on and finally came to what they call the process of getting me out of the air First they are going to catch both of us and then freeze and freeze us until the thermometer runs away down to 400 degrees below zero, and we will be-"
 "Oh-o-o-o" shrieked Oxy, i've can never stand it. and she began to shiver violently; then she inquired the best she could between her chatering teeth: What else did you hear?" for nothing is quite able to stop Oxy from asking questions T don't know that I understood the rest of it, for I have been shaking SC very hard ever since he read about the freezing, but I think the account said that we would become a liquid and then | they would let us melt again and that you would escape, but they would hold on to me-
 T would like to know what this Uncle l Sam wants with you. Of course, we have been separated for short time be-
 
 circumstances, for I went into the world to fulfil noble purpose and ministered | to poor miners who were injured and to numbers of dying persons.' "Oh! as to that" proudly retorted Nitro. there were big head lines in the paper which said I would be used for l fertilizer in peace and powder in war; Making the flowers and crops grow is all right. Nitro, but it is terrible to think | of taking part in war. I wouldn't do it 1 if I were you.'
 How can I help it? They're going tc freeze us"
 "Oh-o-o-on' screamed Oxy again. All at once bright idea occurred to her; she asked: Where does this Uncle Sam think he will catch us?' He has almost decided on a beautiful spot on the Tennessee river in north Ala bama. called Muscle Shoals, where he is sure of always finding us.' Then the best thing for us to dc l would be to stay away from that place called Muscle Shoals. Don't you thinl, l so, too?'
 | T certainly think that would be a wise think to do." answered Nitro Cen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
GOLDEN-S -SPANGLED HAMBURGs

the old spotted-breasted game. At any rate, they produced a fowl which was essentially beautiful, slightly larger than the Penciled Hamburgs. yet ar
 equally good layer.
 These Spangled Hamburgs are of twt varieties, Golden and Silver Both have
 been produced in the same manner ant have been developed to distinctive type and beauty that is solely theil
 own Their plumage rivals the Pheas ont in color
 The Golden Spangled Hamburg would appear to be one of the most usefu breeds It has been bred for a long time, and it's prolific laying is unques toned. But the eggs and the fowl itsel are small, so that for large utilit, flocks the Hamburg will not answer To the small breeder. however, or fo a beautiful and useful home flock tn Golden Spangled Hamburg has man, attractions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09

The Hamburg is one of the oldest standard breeds of poultry. It originat- ed in Holland but takes it's name from the city of Hamburg. The penciled va rfeties were the first of these, and the spangled. blacks and whites were orig inted in Great Britain, where they are extensively bred.
 The breed was known as the Dutch everyday layer, because of it's heavy laying propensities, and was greatly popular among fanciers and small breeders. Their laying qualities appear to have made them popular for two centuries and they were used in the making of several of our popular va rites.
 The Spangled Hamburgs were the product of the British fanciers who crossed the original Dutch every day layer, which was of the Penciled va riety. with some of the British fowl. MT Harrison Weir states that this was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
A Notre Dame Lady's Appeal

To all knowing sufferers of rheumatism. whether cuiar or of the joints. sciatca lumbasos. backachs palms in the kidneys neuralgia palms, to write to her for home treatment which has repeatedly cured all of these She feels 1t her duty to send it to all sufferers FREE You yourself at home as thousands will testify-no change of climate being necessary This simple discovery banslas uric acid from the blood the stiffened joints. purlfie the blood brghtens the giving elasticity and tone to the whole system. If the above interests for proof address
 Mr4 N Summers. Box B. Notrs Dane. Ind
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09

ably die before reaching their destination and will cause dissatisfaction and loss of business It is a wel-known fact that only chicks which are well matched are worth putting in the brooder
 MUST BE CAREFULLY PACKED
 Next to the production of strong chicks the success of the day old chick trade de bends upon having them properly packed and carefully handled in order to insure their safe arrival. Chicks are packed when they are about A hours old, or after they have become thoroughly dry Special boxes made of corrugated paste board are used, each box being of such size that it will hold 100 chicks. The interior is divided into four compart- ments. to prevent injury due to crowding or suffocation.
 Baby chicks are usually shipped by ex- press and should be conspicuously la beled The route over which they must travel should be determined in advance and they should be billed and routed and delivered to the express company at such a time that they can be gotten off with the least possible delay. The purchaser should be notified when chicks are shipped and it is his duty to get them from the railroad, and start them in the brooder as soon as possible.
 While in route the conditions should be
  the early spring may come from the pack ages being left for long time on trucks at station platforms, where they will be- come chilled. Again they may be placed near a bank of steam pipes where they will become very much overloaded.
 The express companies have issued spe- cial rules to their agents covering the handling of such packages, and any loss due to the failure of the company to handle package properly can easily be collected by making claim for damages in the proper manner.
 FUTURE OF CHICK TRADE
 There is every reason to believe that the baby chick trade has a remarkable future, if the poultryman uses due care to produce only the best chicks and to sell only those which are of such quail ity that they are sure to give satisfac- ton. The vitality of the chicks after they reach their destination is the big determining factor in the future suc- cess of the trade.
 Probably the greatest opportunity is offered to the commercial poultryman who has an extensive hatching equip ment and who can, by advertising, build up a demand for thousands of these fluffy youngsters A nearby local trade covering radius of not over 60 to 100 miles is probably the most satisfactory. The profit resulting from the baby chick trade is satisfactory, providing at least 50 pen cent matches are secured. which should not be diff cult to obtain.
 When a hen completes the laying of a clutch of eggs at this season of the year, even among the nonsitting va rieties, she is prone to become broOdy. This tendency must be discouraged and promptly brokeu up, or it will Coll zee ;,, Ina yield It's importance cannot be over estimated, especially on commercial egg farms, where the hens is not held responsible for next seasons bullets. Robert Armstrong has written an ar ticle on this subpect for next week, and everyone who raises chickens should be sure to read it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
More of That Subtle Stuff

From the Cornell W1dOW.
 Pater-My son, you have a reputation for driving your car recklessly.
 Fflius-Don't believe it. Pop. I've had three wrecks this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1916-04-09
"CLEARING THE SEAS"
By Donal Hamilton Haines. Ha

by Donal Hamilton HaineS. Harper
 Brothers, publishers, New York.
 Clearing the Seas" by Donald Ham ilton Haines, is a thrilling story of a supposed naval war between the Uni ted States and a foreign power. There are submarine fights attempt to destroy the Panama canal, and gi- gantic battle between two fleets. This book deals with the campaign at sea of the war whose land campaign was the subject of the authors earlier book, "The Last Invasion.'
 Clearing the Seas" is the story of an attack upon the United States by a foreign power which the author calls the Blues, though the reader will quickly surmise that it may be iden- tified with one of the present bellig- erents. The hero of the book, Joe Law ton, enlists in the United States navy before war Is even thought of. When with scant ceremony the Blues Follow their preposterous demands with an at tack. he is assigned to duty on board an immense battleship. the Alaska. There is a sea fight in which the Alaska wars single-handed against six of the Blue fleet, and is battered a1- most to pieces. Her captain refuses to surrender, and the summons comes to all hands to stand by to repel board CTS" Presently "the lean, rakish Blue cruiser comes up alongside the Alaska without damage to either velles-an event which. considering that both are modern steel ships, is truly miracu- lous Nevertheless. the same thing oc- CUTS again before the story ends. Taken prisoners by the Blues, Joe and his chum dig their way out under the barbed wire fence with spoons and table knives. Later Joe has a taste of service on a submarine and finally takes part in the great sea fight which saves New York
 TRANCE AT WAR: ON THE FROM
 TIER OF CIVILIZATIONS
 By Rudyard Kipling. Doubleday Page x
 Co.,, publishers, Garden City, N. Y.
 With a few magic words as only Mir. Kipling can use, in France at War" he makes the reader see the trenches in France. as he saw them.
 He tells how the civilian writer feels there, as he elbows his way among the soldiers ''in order to make words out of their blood;' like one coming in late to a play and incommoding a long line of packed stalls
 Time was when Mr. Kiplng was an ar- dent imperialist, but the German type of imperialism finds no responsive chord in his nature. Here is a haracteristic comment:
 Rheims is but one of the altars which the heather have put up to commemorate their own death throughout the world. It will serve There is mark, well known by TOW, which they have left for a visible seal of their doom. When they first set the place alght some hundreds of their wounded were being tended in the cathe- dral The French saved as many as they