The Alaska citizen., 1916-03-06
Town Gossip and Stories
By The Tattler.


 Of Cigars right and it went off,
 too; but I fell asleep and dreamt I was dressing, and did not really awaken until called by the deputy marshal"
 The court replied: T thought Sunday vas for grand jurors to rest up. and I hope you will see tha; this doesn't happen again, for never dreamed that you wouldn't bc here"
 The above conversation took place in court last Monday morning be tween R. NJ. Crawford, the secre- tary of the grand jury which fin ished it's labors during the past week. and Judge Charles E. Bun nell. on the occasion of Mir. Craw- ford being late in attendance at court And as the result the other members of the grand jury smoked at Mir Crawford's expense for, when he went out at noon, he brought in box of perfeCtos
 Oh! For A Down below Cinema there Stomach lives a man who can Like This. not get drunk on whls-
 key. even if it is 100 per cent pure. At least he says he can't. And he further declares that he has, during his lifetime, drunk so much of the liquid that cheers that it has refused to cheer him any more All he can do now to get what he calls fairly good drink is to make his drink about one-third whiskey and the other two-thirds denatured alcohol.
 The report concerning this mans drinking proGlivities is authorita- tive, He is also said to have many contemporaries among the residents of the below Cinema" country, but none of them are exactly his equals in the art of imbibing Despite that fact however, 1t Is stated that there has been less drunkenness along the lower river during the present winter than ever before
 Drinking stories are a reminder of the first saloon Charles Tackle son. now deceased, opened at Cinema in early days. All bars and drink emporiums being generally adver tised as first class thirst parlors the proprietor of the place under di sus n called his saloon The Only Second Class Saloon in Alas ka."
 The letters in the word saloon" were spelled out in old English characters and in true cockney dia lect The word, as it was on the sign, looked something like this; "a hess, a hay, a hell two hos and 2 hen"
 Here's To "Absence makes the The Absent heart grow fonder." Members. Gone but not forgot
 ten."
 Both of those old adages are ap- plicable to the case now under con sideration, but perhaps the most appropriate is the one sprung at the city council meeting at Il o'clock last Monday night; the toast which has made the Elks famous as an organization all over the United States, Here's to the ab sent members" etc.
 Of course, there was really no toast. but it was suggested. The reason was that, reposing in the chair at the head of the council table, facing the mayors seat, the place occupied by City Councilman Dan Callahan for nine consecutive terms of office, was a large and well pictured sketch of this dean of the city council"
 On the picture there were two inscriptions: The Absent One" and Our Next Mayor" Of course all of this wouldn't be printed were it not good advertising for Dan if he should decide to run for the city council again.
 Bluff Of Last week the bluff of Gossips a number of the gossips Called. of the city of Fairbanks
 were Called. That is, in formation received by a number of the grand jurymen having been to the effect that certain of these par ties knew this or that, the gossips were summoned to appear before the Investigating body But little was learned, however, according to all reports, as those who had been so loud in expressing their views on various subjects before they were called to the grand jury room failed to corroborate their former statements when put under oath.
 The case of one woman, as re ported, was particularly good She was visiting at certain house in Fairbanks, ard, while there. she made something in the nature of a speech about certain things under investigation Called before the grand jury next day she denied every assertion she had made at the pri-