The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1916-07-21

1
holds his remains, and he himself has,
before this hour, found corner over
on the other side where there are
high-back seats amid spreading palms
where the tree of life bends under
twelve manner of fruits, and the foun-
tain on the corner flows from the
throne, while children attend untir-
ingly upon the artesian wells of ice
cream, and milk and honey, are serv-
ed every hour and where the fresh
baked buns he loved so we'll here are
made of angelic material, and where
no rips or spots can ever occupy his
unkempt coat, for the old mans garb
is of pure white now and his poor
Old blind eyes have taken on power of
battle-ground compound lens of
perfect white, his palsed hands have
shaken with Obediah and Jeremiah
and the anostle Peter and the sons of
Labdi and he has met and walked with
his dear old sainted father and mother
who lived and loved each other be-
tor Abraham Lincoln ever dreamed of
being more than farmer laddie, his
long cherished hopes have been rea-
lized to the uttermost and surprise
after surprise have chased one an
other to and fro before. this new ar
rival in heaven as this old sinner and
that old bloke of former years, friends
OF his, forgiven by the Blood of the
Lamb have swept into the presence
OF the King and have taken domicile
in the land of the blest, where also
Uncle Jim has cast down his last
anchor and put aside that old hick-
DRY cane he brought here from Iowa
when he scaled the bluffs at Omaha
and hit out for the land of the setting
sun, and the Hired man hereby places
a wreath of flowers around the men,
DRY of the steadfast old soul who had
but few opinions, but had them hard,
and who had but few prejudices, but
had them eternally and who had still
few sins of deeper die and who, if at
this late date should find that Jesus
Christ had not saved him would be the
most surprised man in heaven, for he
had left it all to Him with whom we
all have to do. Fare-thee-well Uncle
| Jim, the sweat and toll of earth with
its weary and care for thee are over,
and this life of thine over which thou
hast been again living for years, is
| thine forever and forever.
"Mr Hired Man, here is list of
| them there question you want"
What is a hedge hog? Its the
ground hog.
What's seat hog? Its a person who
gets in first and gets the first seat
at church and then gets up ten times
to let other people go by him, when
any other part of the seat is as good
as the end.
What is ground hog? l presume
you want me to say sausage.
Who named the hog? Adam did and
he couldn't have given it another name
half so appropriate.
| Is hog responsible? No, we put
ring in his nose.
Do you believe the devils went into
the hogs that time? Yes, just try to
drive hog the way he don't want to
go, and you will think they stayed
there.
Is hog meat fit to eat? If it is we'll
cooked and not otherwise.
Why is it that when we kill hog
the meat is pork? You pork hog,
veal calf, beef COW, administer a
chicken, kill a duck, STAY a man, ad-
wise woman, shield a friend avoid
an officer, steal melon, change your
clothes, pay bill. can the fruit. stop
the car, whistle at tune, deceive your
wife and take the consequences. A
calf is English, veal is French.
presume we change it to French to
hide its identitv etc.
"The Hired Man will now have to
take Captain Banks place and write
us some poetry. Can we have batch
this week. l endeavor to give just
what my readers want and here is your
poetry:
There was young woman from
Midway
Who came down to Caldwell to stay,
But a fellow from Nampa
Stuck a letter with a stampa
And the grille went back the same
day.
Here is another:
A young fellow in Caldwell con-
tended
That after this world is all ended
There is nothing to tell
About Heaven nor hell
So with evil this young fellow is
blended.
Here is a good one, and like the
| others, original:
A man came over from Payette.
And bought all the goods he could
get
AT one Of our stores
And the bill he ignores
But Froman says he is sure to
pay it.
Here is personal thrust:
A man subscribed for The Tribune
And let it run along to the tune
OF getting behind
And forgot in his mind
That Froman might get The Tribune
always like something like this
ballad:
A young woman in Caldwell con-
cluded
That women who got married were
deluded
And so she dolled up herself,
Again dolled up herself
And changed her mind about what
| she'd concluded