Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1916-10-18
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY.
Purglng the Heart.

Which iv them? All iv them. He
smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
freshin' jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on a horn an ivrythin' falls for ut
If the people call him liver so soft, Lit
| tie Samuel had no quicker ear. An for
sacryficin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin on him. Sure
he Is Dimocricy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
''Tis his Presbyterian bringin' up
I'm thinkin. Furst he adopts policy;
thin he thries to justify it, thin he
sanctifes it wild phrase. while a choir
~ Deshurvin Dimmycrats sings a
hymn. An there We are. Justification.
Adoption an Sankty-fcashun.
1.-THE choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith. George Harvey an Billy
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
Nv the life Nv the great Idaylist.
Harvey whit back to edith an Bill
Brine whit In search iv the Howly
Kale. McCombs was canned. because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing a
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
On Tariff ragtime But Wudthrow die
grated them all Wild fwhat say ye?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross
Ohio. mind we'll the time at the
Manhattan Club. whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what Wudthrow
calls the vital stuffs iv nfe.' Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis.
wild Redfield for the high falsetto.
WudthrOw sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise.
an Col House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow Is fond ~ music. but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced a Clog on
a Washbler ye'd niver hear a sound.
well. wan night in August the Colo
mel come tiptoein' in through the base
ment dure.
FLOWS the game, Colonel?' says
Wudthrow. $685. the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up a few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an alb
sent air.
"'Ain't l got the full dinner-paipsY
|
that's forgot the first two year and a
) half says House pleasantly. Amt
KEEP 'em out O. war; axes Wudthrow
Part O the time, says House, rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. Amt my voice our
greatest liquid assetr axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says
House, but a lot iv suckers can't tell
asset firm an H'bility,' the Colonel
says.
"'B'what are ye dr1vin' att says
wilson, four flushing little.
ARE ye watchin' the strike? says
House. Half q millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure. an closin' ut behind
him.
well, Sir. he left Wudthrow sunk
In profound miditashun- At last he
, spakes. I hear he says, in a low
D sweet tone that vice ~ the people,
which Is to me as the vice Of a Car
negie Penshun.' OH he says. thrillin'
, in ivry nerve. must indade sacryflce
= wan more IDOL says he, on the altar
: " me Counthry!' says Wudthrow.
!. "'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; an the Sugar Tax he says; an
= the Tariff for Rev-noo,' he says; an
q all me friends, beside says he, six.
q teen per'fy good Mexican Policies
= was not all thin enoughT he axes in
, agony. But will purge me Heart ~
lvry pers'nal fought says he, startin
for bed. An before he retires he takes
o a Heart Purge 1v his own invinshun
q the way It'll wurk while he sleeps.
dinnaw fwhat the purge is. TITS g
= secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted great sacryfse Of pur
rinciple, dear to his heart, but he'd
used most iv thin already, an he fell
+ that this was no time for second hand
= or slightly damaged sacryf1ses. Sc
y be sends for House. Colonel says
l. he, "F'what pur-rinciple d'yr think
It wud be an acceptable sacryfse In this
= great morel imargincy" he axes anx
lousy.
"'Whisper,' says the Colonel And he
: said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear, anl
= faded silently away through the dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stu6
= spellbound. Thin he burst into 6
= whoop; The Ram in the Bushes cries
= be wild tears iv j'y.
= "'Twas an impressive ceremony
= whin the sacryfise was solemny-ise
= at the Capitol.
= "The procession started f'om the
= White House wild the Prisidint walkin
= ahead carryin' the Ram in wan han(
= an a box iv Safety-First matches il
= tn other. He was followed by a coo1
+ bearin' four gold pans, and behind
= eame four Union Chiefs ridin' On mill
= white steeds followed be a group i,
= Railroad Prisidints, Stock Holders
+ Farmers, Shippers and Consumers
j. ,oadad wild chains After q Short cor