davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
SARCASM.
AoDINcToN BRUCE


ca>m is directed gives far less
thought To the mistake Of stupidity
of which he has been guilty than
&c the form his superiOr's rebuke
takes Consciousness OF his fault is
swallowed UP by feelings Ct resent
rIcnt
Thence is developed in MIN an
antagonism which does not readily
wear away. When he again takes
up his work he takes it up in a
spirit of bitterness that mas a part.
ly paralyzing effect tn his muscles
anu his mind
II he is working in an Office. store,
or factory where there are others
who have similarly suffered from a
superior's indulgence in sarcG SIN the
effect is particularly deplorable.
His resentment unitcs with theirs
20 create an atmosphere hurtful 20
The efficiency OF the entire working
force.
And this. Of course. Is detrimental
10 the interests of the superior
whose conterpt dous attitude is re-
spons, bic for the creation OF the
eftciency-lowering atmosphere.
II be is a proprietor II hurts him
in his bank account. II he is a sal
aired official il viii soon or late
bring about his replacement by
some one who can manage men bet
ter.
Also the man addicted 10 sarcasm
is bound 10 suffer in his private re-
lationships
II his employees detest him, his
friends are equally sure Co dread
him they know that On occasion
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

Somebody once defined sarcasm
As verbal high explosive. This
definition IS not bad Il expanded 20
say that sarcasm is a verbal high
explosive that usually does more
damage tC the person using ii than
10 the person against when il is
used
4 good many people seem un-
aware Of this self-dsmag'pg quality
Of sarcasm. They use il freely. in
social intercourse and still more in
their household and business deal
ings.
Everybody is familiar with the
man who is ever on the alert 10 de-
tect mistakes and stupidities IT,
other people, and pounce upon them
with biting remarks.
He l. especially in evidence when
ii lie question OF pointing out TO
business subordinates errors they
have made.
To such a man IL is not ,ufflciert
TO call attention TO the errors in a
quiet il forceful way lie must
lash the error-makers with the
tongue of contempt and scorn.
In Il small proportion Of cases.
this policy Of squirting
by sarcasm does produce results
in terms OF higher efficiency on the
part of those against whom the sar-
casm is directed. They try TO work
better. If only TO escape their supe-
rior's biting censure.
But usually the corrective value
II sarcasm IL absolutely zero.
The person against whom sar-
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
Notice 1t.

when a man with good position. perhaps
with wife and children, beefs and beefs about
being called to the eolors and cusses his luck
and Carranza and most everything else, then
Strengthens up his affairs, provides az well as he
can for his family's support and reports for
duty and does it--thats patriotism.
When a man over the service age or with q
varicose vein two in his leg or an impaired
eyesight bowls about his valor and wakes fran
tic when the surgeon rejects him. then sits down
upon the front steps Of the recruiting station
and wceps aloud why, that's grandstanding.
Remember the difference.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
Rich Man, Cheap Cigars

Sang Lord Byron in his heyday:
Sublime tobacco! which from east to
west
Cheers the tar's lsbors and the Turk
mans rest
And not necessarily a 81 Havana
cigar. either. You may be surprised
10 learn what cheap cigars some
rich men smoke
There Is James r. Duke He In
worth as many millions az he is
years old, and. moreover. he IL the
tobacco king Of the world
Does he have special brand
made in Cuba nicely packed in in.
laid boxes7
Mr.. Duke smokes regularly
cigar which costs exactly four
cents.
Al dinner recently I sat beside
the vice president OF large rail
road When cigar time arrived he
passed up the 25-cent smoke that
was handed around and took
stoRie from his pocket.
There was a time" he said,
when my pride made me smoke a
cigar 7 couldn't AFFORD. now smoke
az please, and this one.cent AFFAIR
suits me best Philadelphia Pub
lie Ledger.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
Dog HOnored BY Author

Jim Is a hero. a life saver. and one
Of unusual intelligence. n # had
not been for his nearly human in
telligence. Dr. II. T. Galpin, his mas
ter and closest friend. would not
be alive 10 tell of Jims doings.
Jim Is sturdy Great Dane, brin-
die in color and dgnifed in deport
ment
Early one morning Arc broke out
in a drug store adjoining the Gal.
pin apartments The fre's first dam
age was 10 a gas meter, and the
escaping gas overcame Doctor Gal
pin and his brother
jim was on the Job In a minute
and fastened 20 his masters side
Realizing that barking and paving
had no effect, the wise dog dragged
the doctor 10 an open window in the
front Of the apartment. where an
electric fan was buzzing and in
few minutes the master revived.
BY that time the apartment was
In flames, but there was Jim, drag
ging Doctor Galpln's brother toward
the window The doctor went TO
Jim's assistance and all escaped 10
the street.
Mrs Kate Sanborn has dedicated
her latest book. The Dog King
dom" 10 Jim. and a, n dinner given
by her In his honor he was presented
With silver loving cup with
golden lining York Herald.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

portant and Just as needed as are
those OF the physicians.
The disease generally breaks out
in warm weather--it is another one
OF the summer dangers that beset
baby. Therefore many physicians
conclude that IL IL spread by IN.
sects
Some blame the stable Gy.
Then why cant parents strive 20
preveRt infantile paralysis by care
fully screening houses and work
ing 10 10 away with the breeding
places OF these fies-neglected
manure piles?
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
WITHOUT REGRET.

certain drill sergeant. whose severity has
made him unpopular with his troops, was putting
party Of recruits through the funeral service.
Opening the ranks so az 10 admit the passage
OF the supposed cortege between them. the In
structor. by way OF practical explanation, walk.
ed slowly down the lane formed by the two
ranks. saying he did:
Now I'm the corpse Pay attention"
Having reached the end OF tho path, he turned
round regarded them steadily for moment or
two. then exclaimed:
your hands are right and your heads are
right but you haven't got that sad look Of regret
you ought to have"
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
he Children of the Poor;
The Children of the Rich.

We all concern ourselves. when we are not
- busy. with the children Of the poor: provide
Nm with Fairgrounds. sand piles, swings and
oront contrtvances 10 assist them to extract
~ 10ys Of childhood.
6 DIT there is a pathetic group OF children
Pm We cannot reach, for they are protected
- o1truistc assault by the stocks, bonds aud
Accpnulating interest thereof owned by their
Doo<ive fathers
M group we see daily on the roof gar.
R Ridiculous mis-nomer) OF fashionable
hotel In this city, and we have noted the
g their childish existence.
~ o9o invisible, shut up in their apart
onu1 about 4:3o. when they emerge on
rnk resplendent In fine linen, ribbons and
~ scar.
= occompanied by nurse who for abso
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
The Daily Reminder
TODAY's ANNIVERSARIES

IsUo-L League OF GermaniC states
formed BY Napoleon,
ls3i-prinCe Leopold OF SAKE Co
burg accepted the belgian crown,
lsS6-Austria granted an amnesty
70 political offenders In the revolu-
tion OF lSts.
France met at villa Franco and
agreed upon preliminaries Of peace.
iS64-The confederates under Gen.
Jubal Early attacked Fort stevens.
six miles north OF Washington
England on visit to Queen Victoria.
is7O-Admiral John A. pahlgren.
who invented system or ordnance
that still hears his name. died In
Wsshigst9TH "a. Born In philadelphia"
NI isso2%Cypus w. Field. protector OF
the ocean telegraph died IN Ardsley.
y Y, Born at stockoridse. Mass
sos| England welcomed Lord Kit
chencr on hts return from south AZ
isot-s.muel NJ Jones. ne the GOLDEN
iedo. @. Born in Wales Aug, 3, 1855.
lsI2-The national prohibition con
vention In session az Atlantic CltS
nominated Eugene W. Cham. or IL
''I iSiS Secretary of the Navy Dan
tells formulated plans FOR the estah-
lishmtnt 81 an advisory board %
civilian engineers 20 devise methods
for conducting naval warfare
ONE YEAR AGO TODAY IN
THE WAR
French and British advanced In
Italians drove Austrians out 81 en-
trenchments IN Carnia.
Severe artillery combats reported
throughout the western war arena.
Russians repulsed Teutonir a.
saults near Kholin. 100 miles south
east OF Warsaw
TODAY's BiRTHDANs
Prince John. the youngest son OF
King George and Queen Mary oorn
IL years ago today.
Or. Albert Membreno. former Hon.
duran minister AT Washington ana
now president OF the Central Ameri-
Honduras. 81 years ago today
ireland. horn 81 years ago today
STR Frederick r. smith the prose
cutting attorney I'm the Roger case
ment trial. born at Birkenhead. Eng
Sir William Osler. formerly OF
Johns Hopkins. university. now pro-
fessor 81 medicine in oxford uniNer-
sity, born 81 Bond Head. Canada 81
Newell Sanders. former L g sem
ator from Tennessee. born tn owen
county. Ind SIS years ago TODAY.
Jeter c. Pritchard former senator
from North Carolina. now a Judge OF
the United states circuit court, horn
AZ Jonesboro. Tenn. ts years ago to-
day
George Eastman. millionaire In
ventor and manufacture ~ the ko-
dak camera. born ~ WaterviIle. y.
Y. 60 years ago today
Lee Meadow pitcher for the 81
Louis National league baseball team.
horn at oxford. y c. % years ago
today
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
Evolution

Some call 1t evolution and others
call IL God.
I am Evolution.
In my name are committed most
OF the crimes that history records.
am Herbert Spencer's child, bu'
come OF a long line. Ny ancestry
goes back to Heraclitus.
When murders are committed il
is said TO be my process Of making
men better. When governments
change. did II.
am the modern substitute for
Jehovah.
Progress Is my progeny. My other
name Is mutability.
am the accommodation elevator
for humanity.
Going up7" or
Going down."
That, by the way. is my secret
Life.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
BY Altman.

he VIII not hesitate to sting them
with Caustic words
Therefore. they sbun his company
He is left very much 20 himself
let 10 an isolation that breeds un-
happiness and mcroscness.
In this miserable condition he Is
sure 20 remain unless some candid
friend conyircingly points out to
him the reason for his unpopularity,
or unless he gains this knowledge
for himself through thoughtful self
analysis.
Sarcasm. in fine, Is liability. not
ence And i is mighty heavy
liability.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
Mixes Pipe, His Soap
Bubbles, Other Bubbles
and Worse and Worse.
Go get your old pipe, Mike.

Mix up little soap and water and
blow q bubble. When the bubble is big
and round and fat, grab it in your right
hand and you'll have just as much value
right there in your fingers as if you held
one Of the shares of stock of any of sew
eral scores of new companies which we
could mention that are now being floated
"a this sweet land of liberty.
& 10 THEE, MIKE WE SING: DON'T
BIJY.
They're pyramiding new securities as
fhe sands of the seashore and just as
Skhble.
Watch the wave of peace hit EN-!
Capital stock of new companies to
make munitions of war increased from
100, 900 in JAN, 1915, to $27, 100000 in
pril. 1916.
# Total munitions interpretations since
IAN, 1915, were over S127, 100000 and
twu-thirds of it will produce no other
6jvidends than sheriff's writs after peace
comes.
Il It's the same in chemical companies
md dye companies, in petroleum and mo-
tors and sugar and copper mining, with
many little people throwing their savings
jnand to the winds.
It's high crime.
It's high treason.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

babies lives by
the score
The disease IL
a mystery even
to medical ex-
.perts.
In fighting this
plague the efforts
OF the average
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
The Same Everywhere.
6Y DR.. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1916. by Frank Crane)

There are nice people everywhere"
1.-The speaker of this sentence was Mrs.
Walden. Methodist preachers wife.
She had lived and moved (moved usually
about once year, in Central Illinois for
thirty years, and she ought to know.
The strange fact about human nature
is that it is not strange. II is about the
same wherever you find it.
The petty quarrels, ambitions, and
jealousies in Hindu village are much of
piece with the goings on in hamlet in
Indiana, Alaska Kamchatka, or Cape
Town.
Wherever there are people-genus
homo sapiens, two-legged animals with
out feathers-there is old friend Human
Nature, incurable, up to its old tricks,
the same yesterday. I'D and t.
The Greek hoplites in the army of Cy-
rus, as we read of them in Xenophon's
"Anabasis," carried on about like the
Bulgars and Teutons act nowadays.
Father Noah got pifflicated, Anthony
erotic. Pericles jealous, That's frisky,
Tarquin lustful Semiramis ambitious,
Rienzi insurgent, Scarron witty-all
pretty much as the folks now in your
circle Of acquaintance, each according to
his forces and limitations.
Nature shifts the scenes, secures new
settings. but keeps the same old stock
company.
The common people were boobs in the
days of Alexander or Rameses l., just
as they are now, and marched forth TO
hack each other whenever their govern
ors whistled.
Kaiser Bill has nothing on j. Caesar,
who defended" the Roman empire by
dividing all Gaul into three parts and de-
vouring them one after another.
Frightfulness is about the same,
whether among red Indians wiping out
frontier settlement, Timour decorating
the front gate Of conquered city with
mountain Of fresh cut heads, or the
apostles of Kulter bringing light and
progress TO Louvain.
But what ] started out to say (and no
matter where one begins, these days, he
always gets around to the war; is that
wherever you sojourn you find what the
preachers wife called mice" people.
Kindly people, generous, open-minded,
companonable, honest, straight, decent,
obliging- do they all>come from?
Possibly this poem of Edwin Mark
hams. which ! copy from the December
number of the Nautilus, may throw some
light on the subject:
Once. whore prophet in the palm shade oasked'
4 traveller CHANGED AZ noon 10 rest MS mules
what sort OF people may they be-" h" asked,
In this proud city on the plain oerspreadY
well. friend what sort OF people whence you
came"
What sort ," the packman scowled. Why
knayes and fools
You1 md the people here the same the wise
man said.
Another stranger In the dusk drew near.
And pausing cried What sort or p'opic here
In your bright city whore yon towers arise!
Well friend what sort OF people whence
you came?"
What sort?" the pilgrim smiled Good, true
and wise
you'll find the people here the same" the
wise man said
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
A PHYSIOLOGICAL GEM.

Recently in an examination OF school papers
the following definition was returned in answer
TO the question, What rs n germ ?"
n germ is very little thing. smaller than
the smallest thing that cant be seen. and the
only way TO kill il is to hold doxygcn under it's
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

n you desire 70 become a genius,
gentle reader. and dope out some
great invention while you wait-an
invention that will make the world
sit up and take notice. also bring
you wealth and fame-all you have
to do Is 10 follow the above recipe.
II is very simple--no capital re-.
CURED
All you have 10 do ia 70 hire Al
attic without heat-preferably In the
winter time-yank of your coat,
roll UP your sleeves. open the win
dows and embark in the genius
business.
II you have been in the habit OF
eating three square meals per day
you'll have 20 cut that out, OF course
A genius, you understand, must not
only be cold, but hungry oh. II
wouldn't do any particular harm to
indulge yourself in a dry crust OF
bread now and then, just as a mere
matter 81 form. but as for steaks.
chops, pies and cakes-nothing do
ing.
II you follow the above recipe for
week OF two. you will then be in
prime genius condition. When you
are shivering from cold and on the
verge OF starvation, you may con-
hdently expect 10 do something In
the line OF music. literature or art
that is really worth while.-Boston
Post.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

The Eighth National Shoe and
Leather MarNet-Fair Is 10 open IN
Boston to-day and will continue for
one week.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
IN THE DARK.

81 shall love you all my days" he exclaimed
passionately.
oh that's all right about your DAYS" replied
the practical young woman. but what are YOU
going TO do with your nights Judge.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
WANING EAXORITISM

Some OF the favorite sons are not proving a,
favorItc as they thought they were. according
to tho primary election returns-Ph Philadelphia
Press.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
A Recipe for Genius

There IL no doubt that genius
Is ecliused by having plenty 20
eat and wear. We cannot strike
out without complete strength
when our stOmaChs are fan and
our backs are warm. The great
est inventions Of the world have
been wrought by men poorly clad
and often hungry Well nourtsh-
ed and comfortably clothed
bodice handicap genius 900 EN-
change.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12
The Keep Well Column
INFANTILE PARALYSIS.

A wave OF child paralysis Is
sweeping over thee ountry claiming
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

U Every day balloon common and bubble
tceferred are being enticingly proffered
~ Detroit newspapers without any atten-
ton to the "blue sky law" which re-
Guires that all stocks and bonds adver-
sf1Ded in this state shall be approved by
ne Michigan Securities Commission be-
Tore being placed on the market.
This formidable body shrinks from the
9isagreeable duty of putting the offend
l1ng publishers in Jail; thereby adding the
IN Of OMISSION to that of COMMITS
ION.
Which leaves Mike and everybody else
IL the mercy Of the mercenaries, be-
1ayed by his newspaper and forsakeD
sby his state.
Penitentiary for the thieves when the
babbles burstf
sttS No, Mike, you're the only one who will
~ punished in your heart
ehes and worse, punished in your pow
sfEty and worse, punished by your fam
NJ deprivations--a worse.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

Ihassa has a population or $1,000.
OF whom 1000 are women.
The Detroit times., 1916-07-12

i. Our old friend, the mercury, appears
to be once more leading the league.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-04-05
Will REMAIN NEUTRAL
Holland Furlough Suspension Not Re
suit of Political Affairs.

The Hague, April 5--At the OPEN
ing of the second chamber of the
Dutch parliament Tuesday after pre-
liminary secret session in committee
the president of the chamber read a
brief statement declaring that recent
suspension of furloughS of army Off
GERS and men was precautionary
measure, as Holland is firmly re-
solved to maintain her neutrality and
there is d possibility of it mourning in
creased danger owing to the course OF
war.
The suspension order. he added, was
not a consequence of present political
entanglements but was decided upon
on account of certain information
which reached the government and
which the government does not judge
opportune at the present moment to
make public. The chamber then pro-
ceeded to the consideration of domes-
tic affairs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-04-05
in final TEST?
Germany Forcing War Issue
Now to Extreme.
Utmost Force Exercised on
Land, Sea and Air.
BY WILBUR S. FORREST

London, April 5.-On land, sea and
in the air. the Germans are now stri--
ing with attacks of unparalleled fierce
ness, presumably to offset in the minds
of neutrals and their own people. the
results of the Paris conference of the
allies
Four Zeppelin attacks in many
days, torpedoings averaging four daily,
and mighty hammering at the gates of
Verdun bear evidence that the kaiser
has ordered a great demonstration of
his military and naval strength. The
three phases of the Teutonic renewed
offensive opened simultaneously With
the closing of the allied ring of steel
around the central empires.
The Berlin papers now emphasize
the fact that the new Zeppelin raids
mean the beginning of the most active
warfare on England. demanded by the
main committee of the reichstag.
Count Won Reventlow. makes this
point in the Tages Zeitung and urges
that the Zeppelins make raids every
night to terrorize Londoners.
On the Verdun front, the fighting is
rapidly approaching a climax. The
Germans are hurting successive waves
of troops against French defenses on
both sidos of the Mouse. At the first
indication of a weakening in the
French line, the grand assault of the
German armies will begin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1916-04-05

them to worry out the answers for
themselves. She will show them the
best way to study-everything but the
answer itself. Even in the first grade
children will be instructed in the
psychology" of study.
Sub contracts to manufacture shells
have no attraction for r. l.. Cofran,
Western foundry. A Chicago firm
which has contract to supply $1,000
600 worth of munitions sent out a
feeler with a view of letting a sub
contract to the Western foundry. The
effort failed to elicit even preliminary
negotiations. I'VE are not equipped
for that kind of business" was the
former mayors only comment.
When Bernardino Leila ran away
with the wife of Ricardo Ramirez he
took with him revolver belonging to
the father of the woman, according to
the information filed, and now he
faces two separate charges He is
charged with white slavery" and with
larceny" He waved his preliminary
hearing in the court of Topeka today
and was bound over to the district
court. The woman is charged with
abandoning minor child and was
bound over also.
The case of Oscar Swayze, county
clerk against S. G. Zimmerman, for
mer county clerk in which Swayze is
suing for over $500 for work alleged
to have been done in completing Zim-
merman's county records. has been
taken under advisement by Judge G.
H. Whitcomb of the second division of
the district court. The arguments in
the case will be made Saturday morn
ing and it is not expected that Judge
Whitcomb will make a decision in less
than a week after that time.
E. A. Sullivan, who has been with
the Morrison Grain company of Kan
SaS City in the position OF travelling
representative, has severed his connec-
ton with that firm and joined interest
with James E. Houston of Kansas City.
The firm will be known as the Hous-
ton Grain company and will operate
on the Kansas City board of trade as
consignment and option house. Mr..
Sullivan was in Topeka this morning
and will leave in a few days on an au-
tomobiIe trip to Denver His home is
in Salina.
Robert Yates, police judge. will be
the next secretary of the Provident
association. At a meeting of the board
of directors of the association, which
will be held Monday he will be ap-
pointed to the vacancy created by the
resignation in February of Louis
Floyd. Judge Yates was selected from
a field of several people. His ap-
pointment will mean a closer cooper
alton between the association and the
police department. Judge Yates's po-
lice duties leave him sufficient time
adequately to handle the two posi-
tions.
w. Q. Rigby, postmaster, wants
some representative Kansas soil He
doesn't want soil around town that is
polluted with ashes, bricks and tin
cans. He wants only two tablespoon
fuls but he wants real soil. Mr. Rigby
received letter today from Miss Opal
Parlett of Harrod. Ohio, asking for the
soil. She explained that she is MAX
ing a map of the United States for the
county fair and that she wants to
make each state out of soil from that
particular state. Mr.. Rigby will mail
the dirt as soon as he has time to go
out and get it.