The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1916-09-16
LowLY LEeuME NOW LoRDLY.
Plebeain Beans Command Aristocrat-
ic Price, Hortense Finds.
By C. C. sTITH in New Orleans Item.

ic Price, Hortense Finds.
whats yours?" asked Hortense,
the waitress, as she placed a glass of
water in front of a young man. He
yawned trif1e and complained of a
jaded appetite.
81 don't know what | want. What
you got?"
"How abouta nice plate of beans?"
young woman, don't mention
beans to me. wouldn't eat beans
''-Hortensez placed her hands on
her hips and smiled a smile in which
pity and sarcasm were equal ingre-
dients.
$50 shall bean you no beans, shall
I? Well, do you know that the price
of beans, which you have scorned,
has gone up more relatively in the
last three weeks than champagne has
risen since the European war started?
Of course you don't know it. You
dent know whether pate de fol gras
is beverage or an insect! You don't
know whether caviare is cosmetic
or part of an automobile.
But
Listen to me, my good friend,
I've got time to talk. This is an of
hour and / might as well put it to
good use by instructing the unen-
lightened. To you, a bean is bean
don't interrupt me. Have you ever
been told that a bean consists of
water, protein, nitrogen, free extract,
ether exract, and ash, and that it's
food value per pound is 1905 calorics?
You don't need to answer.
IF I had $4,000 this bright sum-
mer morning, continued our heroine,
'I'd invest it in the same beans at
which you turn up your retrousse
nose. They're going up, up. Bel
gium, Russia, Great Britain, even
Canada, Italy and Greece have taken
all of the United States surplus sup
ply. Last years crop was far below
the average and right now Michigan
and New York are short"
$50 beans grow?" ventured the
customer, as he figured if he could
afford 15-cent stew which Haunted
itself at him from the one-sheet bill
of fare. II thought they made 'em
at Battle Greek"
You're taxing my patience" re-
sponded Hortense. But shall per-
severe with you. The bean is plant
of the natural order leguminosa or le-
gumes
'sDoes the pork grow with them?"
x "Say, you can be polite even ii you
L.. II aescaHr "a gYny h0uo
never realized that you have eaten
eeratonia siliqua and sesquipedalis.
Well, you have. Those are the scien-
tists' names fas beans.
sHow is AAw all Of this deep
stuff 5asshuse instead of
spending srsza1 randall hours al
the tpB Bang Fog lge ~ places, / ST up
and peruse EenoWn set of books
in 49 volumes for which am paying
SO month, rain or shine.
ssSome women devote a winter to
acquiring knowledge of Ibsen or Gals
worthy. This winter | went in for
beans. You don't know it, but it's a
fact that beans are the best substi-
tute extant for meat. They are nu-
tritious food, rich in starch and in the
proteid, legumen. If the skins are re-
moved they are easier of digestion
and not so likely to cause fatulence.
ssBut let's look at the financial side
of the question. On July beans
were quoted in the New Orleans mar
ket at 5 cents pound. Three days
later they had gained a quarter OF q
cent; two days more they gained a
half-cent. Two weeks later we ind
them at 1-2 cents, and now this
morning they are 7. If they keep up
the same pace for the next year they
will be something like So pound by
the next Fourth of July. Now, what
are you going to have?"
t'Gimme plate Of beans"