davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
HUMoR FROM OVER WATER
Some Samples That Seem to Disprovs
En0lishmen Have No 9onso
of Wit.

We spoke last Sunday Of the Pail
Mall Gazette's funny column. Mr. c.
e. Jerningham's "Maxims OF Marina.
duke" gives a more cheerful view OF
English wit and humor. Here are
two or three samples:
almost every Englishman imeg
ines he is moral because he objects
to immortality-in Others
HE who is drunk in a flrst-class
carriage has had fit; he who has had
fit in a third-class carriage is
drunk"
"Man-a biped with prejudices-
which he calls principles"
Here is a quotation from woman
as a Work of Art:
"Since her return from the restorers
at Homburg Mrs. Bias, as we ex.
pected she would, greatly improved.
We are now able to detect the delicate
coloring and the elaborate workman.
ship which were before obscured by
unnecessary varnish. In Mrs. b
the nation has secured an important
example of the New York school. She
possesses considerable freedom OF
style, but her middle distance IS
trif1e pompons. "-Boston Herald.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
THAT TURNS AWAY WRATH"
Soft Answer of "Poor Lone Body"
Nevertheless Had Something os
4 STING to It.

Ellen stopped scrubbing the YER
anda steps long enough to cast an ad'
hiring eye on her employers garden,
says the Youths Companion. Sure
they are fine posies. ye have, doctor"
she said. "Ive a neat little house ]
bought with the money Id put by, and
an elegant garden it had last year,
too, but now there's neither stick MOI
stalk in it..
What was it, hens or dogs?" asked
the doctor, alphabetically, mention
ing his own aversions.
"Sure me neighbor-bad luck to
her!--had a ditch dug in her land.
and the water ran down into me gar
den, and washed all me seeds away"
And what did you do about it,
What could a poor lone body like
me do?"
well. didn't you at least say some
thing to the woman, complain or tell
her that you wouldn't stand it,"
Nov, doctor, dear, hard words just
leads to bad feelings among neigh.
bors, and that We know as well az !
do; and it's not me that would be
using them. So I only said to her,
I hope I'll live to see the floods flow
ng over your grave as your ditch
waters have flowed over me garden"
md let 1t 60 At that"
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
Death Of E. c. Stringe1'

The death of f. @. Stripger,
formerly United States district at
torney for Minnesota during the
last Cleveland administration took
place last week at st. Paul.
Mr.. Stringer was an able and
conscientious attorney, and while
in the government service con-
Quoted the office of Uuited States
attorney fairly and justly all con-
cerned.
He was appointed from Hastings.
but after his retirement from the
service he located at St. Paul where
he resided continuously until his
death.
Mr.. Stringer has made friends
in this vicinity who will regret
his early death as he was not an
aged man.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13

Mike LaChappelle and wife re-
turned from Ada, Saturday of last
week.
S. J. Lewis former employee
of Pipestone Indian School, has left
for Onamia, for a few days.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Roy enjoy
ed a mess of tame strawberries,
which were raised in their garden.
1t is rumored that Gus Monroe
has purchased the Buick formerly
owned by Ed. Oliver, of Red Lake.
WANTED-Names and address
ses of people suffering from
ECZEMA and other skin diseases.
For valuable information address
R. NJ. SHEETS, Brainerd, MINI.
Louie Beauchamp and Albert
Giard have left for Pipestone to
work at the Indian School last
Thursday.
FOR SALE-My place at Oge-
ma, consisting of 4 lots and house,
water in the house. Good location
and cheap for cash. Anyone inter-
ested address Ed. Kelley, Geneseo,
n. d., Route 1, Box 81.
Father Albert and Brother, the
former located here several years
ago, was visitor at the St. Bene'
diets mission for few days, while
for Montana.
The three months old Baty
of Mr.. and Mrs. Allen Beaupre,
died at their home last Thursday
evening. The funeral took place
Saturday. The parents have the
sympathy of the community IT.
their bereavement.
EGGS for Matching, from our
high class Single Comb White
Le;;horns. Our hens are large and
vigorous and persistent layers. Is
cents for fifteen, 81. 90 per hundred.
Order now. We also sell the Ola
7ruSty incubators and breeders
at manufacturers price. A. }.
Saterstrom, Lengthy, MINI.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
Catarr!l Cannot Be Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS. as they
cannot rc:t,n the seat Of the disease. Ca
tarrh is a blood or constitutional disease,
and in order to cure it you must take in
ternal remedies. Halls Catarrh Cure IS
taken internally. and acts directly upon
the blood and mucous surface. Hairs
Catarrll Cure is not a Quack medicine. 1t
was prescribed by one Of the best ply
sicians in this country for years and IS
a regular prescription. IT is composed OF
the best tonics known. combined with the
best blood purifiers. acting directly on the
mucous surfaces. The perfect combina-
ton of the two ingredients is what pro-
duces such wonderful results in curing
catarrh Send for testimonials. free.
F. ]. CHENEY e CO., Props, Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists price 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
Kindly PoIyqlfnlsS

The sleepy Lithuanian town G.,
Mlnsl, Russia, has been tarboripg q
man who has married twenty women
John Prizes twentieth wife had him
arrested the other day for "bigamv,
but at the trial it developed that be
had committed poWgamy. With great
confidence the accused called some O;
his wives to testify in his behalf. arc
each one of them spoke highly of him
In his defense Prizes testified: ";
know there is some law about a man
having only one wife, but. your honor
I know there are many more womer
than men in Minsk and could not
bear 70 see so many fine women be
come old maids" The Judge deal
nercifully with ain. sentencing hin
70 only three months in prison.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
Political Announcement.

For which the sum Of s.. 90 has been
paid.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
An Exau.leration.

Lady Algernon Gordon-Lennox, al d
dinner in New York, said If the pro
nrnciation of English names:
"They are hard, aren't thcy?" Main
waring is pronounced Mannering and
Beauchamp Beecham. But they're moi
50 hard as l heard an American gir
declare they were the other night
"'Oh, those English names OF
yours!' said she. TO spell a name
Cholmondeley and actually pronounce
It Marchtanksl'
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
Pay your subscription NOW.
The White Earth Dele
CATION Left For Bemidjij

The White Earth delegation to
the General Council of Minnesota
Chippcwas left for Bemidji to at
tend the fourth annual council OF
the association.
The council will no doubt take
steps to urge an early payment of
the tribal funds that we're appro.
priated last spring by Congress-,
and likewise other matters of i'm
portance.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
TO THE VOTERS OF BECKER
BANK NO, 72O.

BANK NO. 72O.
GTATEMENT OF THE CONDI-
- ton of White Earth Reservation
State Bank at Ogema, at close of
business on June. 30th. 1916.
Date of Call by Supt. July. 6, 1916.
Date of report by
Bank. ..... -. July. ., 1916
RESOURCES.
Loans and discounts -. SOB, 73l. IS
Oyerdrafts. .... II. :}5
Bonds and Securities .....
Banking house, furniture
and fixtures. ......... 3JOO.O 90
Other Real Estate 1977.2S
Ilue from banks M2l.41
Cash on Hand, 46o2.W
Total Cash Assets l4,224. IL
Checks and cash
items. 194. 81
Paid out for expenses, etc..
in excess of earnings,
Total. $73, Gl9 II
LIABILITIES.
Capital Stock $4,000
Surplus Fund 1000
Undivided Profits. Nct... 1876. II
Notes Rediscounted and
Bills Payable
including Certificates for
Money Borrowed
Dividends Unpaid
DEPOSITS subj. to check 2G, SSH
Cashiers heCkS 354.23
Total immediate
Liabilities 27,M1.96
Time certificates 33,2ll.0l
Total deposits 81, 1921
Total. ........... $73, $40. II
Amount Of Reserve on
Hand l4,224 II
Amount of Reserve Re
quircd by Law. 45l3.5
State of Minnesota, ss
County of Becker,
We, Chas. L. Otto, Nicc-President
and a. Il. Wyvcll, Cashier of the
above named bank. do SOlemnly
swear that the above statement is
true to the best of our knowledge
and belief.
Chas. l.. Otto, vice President.
A. e. Wyvcll, Cashier.
Attest: Chas. l.. Otto.
A. f. Wyvcll.
Subscribed and Sworn to before me
this 10th day Of July. 1916.
+. f.. Hoffman
Notary Public
(ScaD Becker County, Mimi.
My commission expires Feb. LIST.
1918.
The Tomahawk., 1916-07-13
Pay your subscription now.

Pay your subscription now.
DR.. Carman of Detroit was
in town on Friday.
Denny Sullivan of Mahnomen
was a visitor last week.
B. S. Fairbanks was business
visitor to Detroit Friday.
Ben Caswell spent the Fourth
at Cass Lake, and returned Thurs
day evening.
The new water tank for the
village was completed last week.
Cecil Richardson has gone to
Minneapolis to spend his vacation.
Lee Logan has left for Chicago
to spend month visiting his sister
and mother.
j. p. Turpin was a Mahnon en-
visitor last Wednesday.
Frank Kane of Waubun was in
town Friday of last, week.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Setting DoIIy's Table.

Care should be taken by each little
girl housewife to see that dolly's din
ing table is always dainty and tidy.
There should be centerpiece for the
table. This may be tiny fern plant
ed in a dish or several flowers care
fully arranged in a bowl. A sprig of
geranium with its leaf, several daisies
and rose make pretty combination.
Keep the flowers low so that the dol
lies may talk to each other across the
table without having to peep around
the vase Of flowers.
At each place set the plate. At its
right put the cup and saucer and on
the left the napkin. The fork should
be put directly at the left Of the plate,
the knife at the right, with the spoon
at the right of the knife.
Salt and pepper shakers, candles and
such things as pickles and olives
should be placed tidily around the
centerDiece
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
The Children's Play Corner
Mother Bird and Hawk.

This is fine out Of door game and
may be played by large number.
Children are arranged in groups in a
row. Each group has the name of
some bird. as robins. sparrows, cana
ries, etc. About fifteen yards to the
right Of the birds and in front Of them
is space for the mother bird" The
same distance to the left is reserved
for the "hawk." The mother bird
calls, "Come out. canaries" Tor any
other group. At these words the
canaries all run to the mother bird, the
hawk trying to intercept and capture
them. If tagged they are imprisoned
by the hawk. If they reach the moth
err brd's home without being tagged
they are safe. The game continues I'm.
til all the birds have been called out.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Roosevelt
Decisively
Defeated
Parker
1904.

THE Republicans. pleased
with the successor Of Nc
Kinley. nominated Roose-
welt in 1904. A split had occur
red in the Democratic party over
the question of free silver. VIII
liam Jennings Bryan had a large
following, but also had many
bitter enemies. Alton B. Parker
of New York was agreed on
as a compromise candidate. He
was supposed to have no decid-
ed views on the issue. How
ever, before the convention ad-
journed he came out in favor Of
the gold standard.
Roosevelt was overwhelmingly
elected. and Charles W. Fair
banks of Indiana was chosen
vice president. while Parker's
running mate that year was
Henry G. Davis Of West vir-
ginia.
Watch for the election Of Taft
in 1908 in our next issue.)
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Why Bubbles Are Round,

Bubbles are round because the air
pushes with equal strength against all
parts Of the thin film Of water that
surrounds it. 1t presses equally against
the sides Of the bubble at all times. so
that IL you blow more air into the in
closure the bubble will be enlarged the
same amount all over and still con-
tinue perfectly round.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29

labor. Miss Lathrop has been an ear.
nest worker for this law and believes
it will have q marked beneficial effect
upon the nations children.
Miss Lathrop is native Of Rock
ford, ILL.,, and was educated at Vassar.
In 1891 she went to Chicago and for
many years was engaged there in So
Geological work. She served three terms
on the Illinois state board of charity.
She was appointed to her present po-
sition three years ago and was the
first woman to be put in charge Of a
federal bureau.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
MOROS TURN SWORDS
INTO BASEBALL BATS
Civilization Follows the Bat, 10 New
Version Of Old Saying.

The Moros wild men Of the Philip
mines. are heating their swords into
hall bats according to news brought
from the islands by Bishop Brent
From head hunting they are turning
TO run getting. The man who dies on
second NAV not have been stabbed to
death.
Like the British dominions. the sun
never sets ON the baseball diamonds
of the world. a game starts III one
quarter of the globe before the last
inning is played elsewhere. The SOUND
of the bat and the bleachers' yell har-
monte in a hymn Of civilization.
So at last the Moros. most dreaded
of Fiipinos-cruel. relentless. whose
pride for generations has been In the
number of enemy heads they could
show as trophies-turn to the king OF
sports to work off their superf1uous
energy. By the same token there Is
hope for the Moros. Some day one
may read Of a great Philippine base
ball league. Moros clashing with Igor
rotes for the championship.
This. apparently. is to be one OF
Americas gifts to its wards in the far
east or a part Of the supreme gift of
ivilization-baseball. the leader Of all
sports. binding the east and the west
in a brotherhood Of sympathy and un-
Outstanding. When baseball becomes
universal throughout the islands Of the
archipelago we may consider that the
Filipinos are apt candidates for indie
pendence. for they will have learned
one prime essential Of freedom-the
willingness to lose a game by close
decision without numbering the UNI
pire.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Points of a Good Cake

A good butter cake is smooth on TOP
and evenly Drowned. Bursting and
cracking indicate too much -four or toe
rapid baking.
Inside Of loaf should be slightly
moist, but not sticky.
Cake should be fine grained and OF
uniform lightness.
Coarse grained cakes indicate a lack
of beating, too low an oven tempera
ture or too much baking powder.
DIRECTIONS FOR BAKING CAKE.
Tenn.
Cake Time perature
Sponge .................. .40-5O min. 212F.
Butter .................. 1850 min. go F.
Small, cakes and layer
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
l stuck my tongue away out far
Tattino Medallion.

With shuttle make ring Of 10 2
separated by S, fasten (using ball and
shuttle). With shuttle make ring of
8 p separated by 3 S, fastening the mid.
die p to one of the ring of 10 just made
With ball make s. With shuttle make
ring Of p separated by S. Close to
this make another ring of fastened
to last p Of ring just made 3 p
separated by p close. Close
to this ring make another ring Of 3 p
separated by fastening the first p
to the last p of previous ring and points
fastening each one to one p points. fas-
tening each one to one p of the ring
Of 10.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Buddhism's Hades.

The internal regions Of Buddhism
are horrible. They comprise a great
hell and 1856 lesser bells In these
bells. according to the sculptures OF
the Buddhist temples. men are ground
to powder and their dust turned into
ants and fleas and spiders. They are
pestled in mortar. The hungry eat
redhot iron balls. The thirsty drink
molten iron.
Islamism says of the internal re-
gions: "They who believe not shall
have garments of fire fitted for them.
Boiling water shall be poured on their
heads and on their skins. and they
shall be beaten with maces Of iron."-
London Chronicle.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
BEAT MAGISTRATE AT DICE.
So Price. Arrested as Crap Shooter
Was Set Free.

So Price. Arrested as Crap Shooter.
Was Set Free.
Samuel Price was better dice
thrower than Magistrate lmber OF
Philadelphia. and thereby he saved
himself long term in Jail. Price stop
ped on a corner where some men were
shooting craps. He says he did not
play. but Il policeman came along and
arrested Price as he stopped to gather
up the pot. which contained cents.
He was arraigned before Magistrate
lmber. who decided to test Sans
ability as dice thrower and offered to
roll him for his freedom or term in
Jail.
The magistrate rolled only four. and
then Price rolled six and walked away
q free man.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Mother Goose Pantomime.

"Mother Goose" rimes written line
by line on separate slips of paper may
be shulfled and handed to players. in.
structions being given that those re.
ceiving the same poem lines shall find
each other and stay together After
all the groups have been formed each
group can dramatic the little Jingle
they have been given and let the 9th.
ers guess it. Care should be taken to
select rimes that will lend themselves
easily to dramatization.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Chief of the Federal
Children's Bureau

When President Wilson affixed his
signature to the child labor bill recent
ly passed by congress, thus making II
a law. among the interested spectators
was Miss Julia c. Lathrop, chief OF
the children's bureau. department u
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Shadow Tao.

The player who is lit tries to step
or jump on to the shadow of some 9th.
er player and if successful calls out
the name of the player. That player
then becomes at" Children should
keep in the sunshiny places where q
shadow can easily be made.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
WiIlv's TONGUE.

When company came to our house once
To my mother tight chung.
They laughed cause I'd not talk and said
1.-THE cats got WHY'S tongue"
I stuck my tongue away out far
Sos they'd not blame the cat,
And then they laughed and so did
And talked. too, after that.
philadelphia Record.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
HOUSEHOLD HINTS,

= Washing walls and floors with :
= powdered borax is hard on the (
y reaches.
8 When baking lemon pies do not
. have your oven too hot, as the (
= lemon will curdle and boil over :
8 your crust.
= Old sheets and other pieces of (
= linen should never be thrown (
8 away. but kept in a convenient
q place for use in case Of cuts or
= burns or other accidents.
= To clean cut glass satisfac-
8 torily use stiff bristle nail {
= brush and hot water to which
q few drops Of ammonia have
= been added.
. Paste labels on the inside Of
o glass Jars used to hold food sup
o plies, such as rice, tapioca, Z
o spices, etc. Thus labeled the jar (
o can be washed without soiling
y the label or pulling it off.
3 o o 100000 o o o 90 o 90
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
But Now.

did not know the way at all
To eat my meals when l was small.
But now l am really quite able
To act quite properly at table.
So father dear his meal enjoys
(Since I eat soup without a noise).
And mother does not watch my broth
For fear I'll spoil the tablecloth.
And when there's company for tea
They do not feel ashamed Of me.
philadelphia Record.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29

UIdest Permanently Establishea
,.s Specialist on Grays Harhor
Crown word to you men, who hav..
end md" ars respondent or are disappointsSx
o ow;, orc Aooring under a mental cIo~S
o o~na;. 70 long standing and chrc.se
So nht.,ons have cured manv sne~
T NJ nea any mall be glad to heln -
YOU ARE Jusr THE ONES -,
to talk to. SAVlr1HT U T,n Maaf
EXPENSE by C61IMn, m x,oS ane
what Won rna ,unses scu put OF doinx
har % Wv =. =. Anow you whit to a. the..
ual rue; ~ ,s TO cure YOU'D -. ,cr ~.
~ VIII take. and. besidea \ ,.r . ~
foundation for other dissss..as s s.s s4
made. s0oo testbr
lido ONLY OFFICE wopr ,,o~vs.
MY OFFICE HOURS and vo,, nv !. =
ways finds me at your sery,ca CnNx
SULTATION FREE. WV
I CURE RUPTUREs without H.
knife!
l CURE PILES without the Nr,s.,
You can come from Missouri -
may want to be shown. lhave prooSs
real live ones, right here on Grsys
Harbor.
Special attention given to Chron,e
| Cases. Diseases Peculiar to Men. Blood
Poison, Enlarged Glands, LOSS Of viz
or and Nerve Force, Diseases Of bad
der, Bowels and Kidneys. 1914" usel
I use the best and most up-to-d,In
instruments, medicines, serums. ",
cines and methods. Expert intrav0
Gus medication.
also tre..+ head noises, catafIk
and kindred ailments.
Come at any time, as I'm alwayn
on the job, If you are too busy d
ing the day come in the evening.
Hours-9 -. m. to IL M; 1 to /
and 6 to $3.50 p. m. Sundays 1 70 I
p. m. only. Strictly office practice.
Graduate; Diploma: License a.
Registered.
Dr.. vi esser
Specialist Eos. Mon
OVER BLYTH & BLYTH
so4H e. Heron St., Aberdeen, w.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
PRINCE CHARLES OF RoUMANIA.

daughter Of the late Duke of Edin.
burgh and therefore cousin Of King
George v. Of England. Prince Charles
will be twenty-three years old in Oc-
tober and almost since infancy has
been connected with the army. He
has been greatly interested in aviation
and is a proficient aviator.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Can Look Both Waxs-

The horse, the rabbit and the giraffe
can look behind them as well as in
front, and so can the fly. That is, these
creatures can see both ways.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29
Roumanian Prince Who
Is Fighting at Front

Prince Carol (Charles) of Roumania,
who is reported to be fighting in
Pennsylvania, Is connected by blood
to the royal family Of England. King
Ferdinand married in 1892 Marie,
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1916-09-29

cakes .-u-ov "'4iA'
Molasses drop cakes. 1890 min. 40 =.
DIVISION OF TIME.
r.-s. quarter Rise not brown.
caaard quarter Rise and begin to
brown.
Third quarter. brown not Use
r,,,r.h quarter Neither rise or
brown, grow firm
and shrink away
from pan.