davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
HAY FEVER
From the Chattanooga News.

From the Chattanooga News.
1t is said that 100000 people in this
country-2 per cent of the population
are suffererers from hay fever. There is
not a single one of the 100000 who
would not like to get a good whack at
the person who is always claiming to
have cure" for the tdisease but who
OILY makes it more worrisome.
From Washington, however. comes an
nouncement of method which is said to
bring relief without promise of cure.
1t is: "Quit eating starch and sugar"
1t is said that If one cuts out every ar
ticle of food that contains sugar and
starch the hay fever will either disap-
pear or be very mild. Among the foods
which come under the ban are potatoes,
beans, peas. cereals, rice. pie. cake and
bread. Also barred are ice cream and
above all. bananas. Fresh vegetables,
not interfere with the treatment.
More is known about hay fever nova
days than formerly. 1t is produced by
weeds with small flowers whose pollen
is distributed by the wind. Ragweed
it is said, causes IS per cent of Amer
ica's hay fever. 1t is found in vacant
city lots,~ beside country roads and II
neglected fields. Besides the three va
rieties of ragweed-common, giant ant
western-hay fever weds are falst worm
wood, marsh and western elder, careless
weed. cocklebur and yellowdock. Some
grasses and cultivate grains also excite
hay fever.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
THE OLD TIN SAFE

wanted to investigate.
If the ants discovered the safe, th'
legs had to be placed in little receptaclei
with kerosene in them. Flies could no
get through the small holes in the tin
but the gnats passed through readily and
found delight in the apple sauce tina
was in evidence along about this time q
the year: Gnats certainly liked appli
sauce but boy didn't care anything
about gnats when he wanted apple sauce
Mother was somewhat artistic in hei
tastes. She scalloped red or pink TISSUE
paper and placed it upon the shelves, 81
the edges would droop down and present
a pleasing, wavy picture when the saff
was opened, but newspapers were USED
upon the shelves-folded neatly ana
pressed down flat
There was a sort of sacred atmosphere
surrounding the old tin safe. 1t was thf
most used and the most useful piece Of
furniture about the home. The children
sought it when nobody. else was present
and half burrowed themselves in III
generous cavities. And now-just thinl.
we haven't seen an old tin safe for
generation.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
THE RULE IN BOYVILLE

From the Kansas City Star.
An old man was sitting in a motor
car in front of a home in Kansas City
one day last week when small boy
came around the house hopping along on
one foot.
Now, the man didn't know he was old
he is less than 5O-but he discovered
the fact when he talked to the boy:
whats the matter, son." he asked.
Have you stone bruise on your foot?'
NO" answered the boy; ''just a nail
in my foot"
Just a nall" That is all. Such a
was rot to be mentioned in the same
breath with tho proud distinction of hav-
ing real stone bruise.
That Is how the man knew he was get
ting old. He had forgotten the standard
ratings of stone bruises rusty nails,
hedge thorns, common thorns and
mashed toenails. A few years ago he
as important in Boyville as the CONNER
cial rate books in the business world
But" the boy added with undisguised
PRIDE Il got hit in the head with a
horseshoe last week, and the scalp was
laid open. 1 didn't know anything for
awhile"
1t was a true story. With a crowd of
boys playing "horseshoes, the lad had
been struck on the head and picked up
unconscious by his mother 1t required
a doctor to bind up the severed scalp.
Following the blow on the head had
come the rusty nail in the foot. A rusty
nail in the foot, plus blow on the head,
that puts one out of commission and re-
quires doctor, equals a stone bruise Of
ordinary degree.
But no single injury is in the same
class with a genuine stone bruise. The
| 'feilers" are curious. of course, to take
a look at the other kind. But in or
der to hold their interest and gain their
envy to the last degree-a stone bruise
every time. A big one.
And the old man, who has come now
to motor cars before he is so, had for
gotten that.
mo" the kid said. "Just a nail in
my foot"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
THE IMMORTAL WALTZ
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
K TANY dancers of an older day. at
MI least, will rejoice to hear OF the
IVA prospective return of the waltz
to favor. They have looked upon tangoing
and foxtrotting as disdainfully as their
ancestors looked upon the waltz itself.
To those accustomed to the old square
dances" the intimacy it involved seemed
improper. Byron, who could not dance,
objected to it, and remarked scornfuliy
upon 'the whiskered votary Of waltz and
war" realizing the perpetual charm OF
gold lace f1r the fair. Yet the waltz tri-
Jumped over all detraction. 1t is not so
many years since it had apparently
crowded out all competitors except the
"two-step," precursor of the evil days
to come. The polka hard disappeared,
though celebrated with lyric rapture:
''You should see me dance the polka,
You should see me cover the ground,
You should see my coat-tails flying
AS 1 madly circle around"
A later generation found the polka not
'the jolliest Dance but one Of the dull
est. So, too, the schottische dropped
out of the memory Of man. with
the mazurka and the polonaise; nor was
Frances often asked to dance the lancels
or the Portland fancy. Perhaps the
waters of oblivion have closed over all
these forever. Is the waltz destined to
remain unchallenged in the tersichorean
lexicon of youth?
That may well be. There is something
in the waltz that no other dance pos
sesses-a grace, a sentiment which weds
it to poetry as well as to music. I'M
fortunately there are many bad walters,
and some who cannot waltz at all. like
Clarence McFadyen, whose feet wasn't
gated that way" 1t was in vain to cry,
zone, two, three-balance with me-" The
poor chap simply couldn't. Now almost
anybody can go through the strange mo-
lions which are to be observed nightly at
our popular roof gardens. The popularity
of the new dances is perfectly under
Aadnb'e Vel III we'1 be gerat pity
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
mitchell AS A MARKsMAN

From the Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.
During his soiourn at the military camp
at Plattsburg, Mayor Mitchell of New
York. made an enviable record as a
sharpshooter, having scored "a hits at the
targets out of a possible rs. thus setting
pattern for other rockies" There Is
reason for experimenting that the art Of
straight shooting. with efficient weapons
used in actual warfare. is not practiced
by the average citizen. In the early days
of the republic, when wild game that re-
quired bullet from a rifle to bring 1t
down was plentiful, close shooting was
an almost universal accomplishment. 1t
is said that rifle clubs were formed
throughout the south after the close OF
the civil war, but little has been heard
about them since the trouble on the Mex
lean border began, With permanent mill
r. amps at Plattsburg and elsewhere
VI interest in rifle,b ,oting may be re-
yived. AS a means of preparedness for
national defense. familiarity with wea-
pons is not to be disregarded.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
CENSORED DEFINITIONS

From the New York Sun.
Whereabouts-A hiding place for those
who are wanted"
Humbug-A fantastic pot-pouri which
sometimes is called life"
Auctioneer-One who lectures on the art
of stealing.
Alms-The requiem Of the rich for the
peaceful repose of the living poor.
Hell-A mystical Philadelphia.
Chesterton &c. K.)-The last spark from
'Wildes last cigarette
fPeople-The algebraic plural of fool.
Decree-lNow used only in this SEN
tence. After the Germans have con-
quered the planet they will decree the
Immortality of the soul.'D
Glory-The five senses of the dead.
Cromwell (Oliver)-The psychological
father of Nell Gwynne.
Library-A place where the dead lie
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
A RESTFUL VICE

liars. And there is nothing like goo
liar to make nature perfect and res
supreme"
In our working hours. when We nav
our tasks to accomplish sNd the colo
grim hand of duty hovers over the scruft
of our necks, we cannot lend to liar
the countenance they require. To loa
and invite our souls, however, would b
a barren joy if the circumspection G
chaste truth had to govern the randor
fancy. Fabrication, craft, ambiguity an
pretext Of a certain large and broad
gagged type have narcotic mission
Their anodyne is only for strong mer
but it is poison pleasant to the i'm
mune in search of relaxation. .
Good liars, though, are scarce. A wagon
load of the pesky, sniveling sort may b
picked up anywhere, but a whole-soulet
generous, outstanding liar of the monu
mental type is rare these days. Colont
Cody is in luck if he knows where t
raise one. He will not keep his treasur
long.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
MARVELLOUS RUSSIA

From the Providence journal.
A new Russian offensive is develop
ing in Bukowina. =
And Russia has eent troops to the
west front to fight in France, and to
Salonil1i to take part in the allied drive
through Servia.
She has pushed far into Galicia.
pressed back the German forces from
the neighborhood Of Riga and disor-
ganized the whole Turkish military
system in Asia Minor.
This is the same Russia which, few
months ago, was being demoralized
and shattered by one Won Hindenburg,
the greatest soldier since Won Moltke-
if not since Napoleon Bonaparte.
Russia has enormous recuperative
possibilities. Her numerical superiority
is impressive. She has repaired her
munition deficiencies, recreated her
armies and given the world splendid
exhibition of logged strength. Her
part in this world conflict is unforget-
table.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
ALABAMA PRESS

Talladega Reporter: The Talladega
creamery is doing it's best to reduce that
four million dollars sent out of the state
for butter.
Decaturs Daily: Vance Mccormick
sized the situation up with some accuracy
when he declared that Hughes has not
developed a single issue so far" Not
only that, he has avoided such issues as
have presented themselves in the regular
order of business.
Sheffield Standard: Whats the mat
ter with Birmingham has again been an
nounced; this time by Ned Brace" of
The Age-Herald. According to his size
up there are too many lazy folks there,
and quite a sprinkling of grafters, tur-
MOL makers and the like.
Selma Times: The voters of Birming-
ham will be called upon to settle the
moving picture issue which has long been
a bone of contention in civic councils. 1t
is unfortunate for the picture houses that
the people were not appealed to in the
beginning, so that an authoritative de-
cision could have settled the matter, Biz
mingham will no doubt vote to open.
Ashland Progress: We read an article
in Birmingham newspaper recently
which said there were rumblings of dis
content on the part of the people there
concerning the price of gasoline-that the
retail price there was rs cents, while in
Atlanta it was % cents, in Nashville only
17H cents and in New Orleans only II
cents. Gee whiz! What would the rum
blings' be if they had to pay the prices
which prevail in Ashland.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
From the Knickerbocker Press.

From the knickerbocker Press.
~OLONEL WILLIAM +. CODY, our
= renowned and cherished Buffalo
~ Bill. has learned in his time few
details of living beyond the easiest way
for a pony express riser to outWit
hostile Comanche in pursuit of scalp.
Miracles of sharpshooting and incredible
feats of horsemanship are only a trifllng
portion of his accomplishments. Among
his claims to distinction must be reck-
oned his discovery of the virtues and the
uses of prevarication.
Addressing a reporter in Chicago the
other day Bison William delivered himself
of his quaint thought:
when 1 am at home, which is In my
beloved west, but still too luxurious for
a man with tastes like mine I frequently
take a prospector and go away into the
wilds for weeks, to lose myself and live
the rough old way. 1 take prospect
tor because prospectors are experienced
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29

when you do dance, I wish 20
A wave O. the sea, that you might ever
Nothing but that"
Could Florizel have paid this gracefr
compliment to a tangoing Perdita? TIL
waltz, indeed, often confers a char
upon those who have it not by nature
1t is matter of common experience tina
nobody waltzes as well as fat maj
The philosophy of this has never bee
expounded.. 1t offers to- the deep thinke
another subject. Perhaps the waltz re
moves from humanity for the momer
this muddy vestare of decay. The mos
stolid' hears the divine harmonies whic
the erAe.est composers have set to on
tive, three time and is transported be
,Fond the ignorant present. A dance ths
ran effect such a triumph is immorta
None of the chances and changes of thi
mortal life, we may be sure, can d.
btroy it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
ROBERT BROWNING

BY Landor
There is delight in singing. though I
one hear
Beside the singer; and there is delight
In praising, though the praiser sit alone
And see the praised far off him, fl
above. a
Shakespeare is not our poet, but Il
worlds,
Therefore on him no speech! And bril-
for thee
Browning! Since Chaucer
No man hath walked along our roads vii
steps
So active, so inquiring eye, or tongue
So varied in discourse. But warm
chimes
Give brighter plumage, stronger win
the breeze
OF, Alpine mounts thou piayest wit
borne on
Beyond Sorrento and Amalf where
The sirar waits thee siro'rp snrr =,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
the pavton lol News.

From the Dayton (O) News.
~ EMEMBER the old tin safe that
TX stood in the corner of the dining
L \ room? 1t is still in use to some
extent in the country, but we in the
city do not encounter it so frequently as
formerly The ice chest has taken ITS
place, and the china closet and the pantry
have made it obsolete for the most part.
But 1t was a wonderful invention in its
day-and the cold food you could sneak
out of it when nobody was looking was
the best food in the world.
A flimsy sort of thing so far as the
woodwork was concerned; cheap poplar
lumber stained with a cheap varnish-
that is about all it amounted to, with
sheets of tin punched full of tiny holes
like nutnug crater. 1t was ornamental
all right, with all of it's shortcomings,
for the holes were punched after pat
tern, and it had a pleasing effect be-
cause you knew what it contained. Why,
there was a sugar bowl on the top shelf
they always put the sugar bowl as high
up as possible, just so a chap would have
to get chair to stand up on when he
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
SAWS RESET

SAWS RESET.
There's one thing that's certain"
Says old Mr.. Peck;
"a boil on the stove is
Worth two on the neck"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Said young Mr.. Duffer,
A gay dog is he:
"a peach in the lap
Is worth two on a~tree.'
Birmingham Age-Herald.
And old Uncle Bing
1 distinctly heard mutter,
"a hair on the head
Is worth two in the butter"
Judge.
I said to the waiter,
That slow, awkward COOP,
"a thumb on your hand
Is worth two in the soup"
st. Louis Star.
We too, raised holler
And smashed at the screen;
"a fly meath the swatter
Is worth two on the beam"
-Pittsburg Post.
MUCH IN THEIR FAVOR.
you are rather too severe on the fail
SEX"
''why do you think so?' asked the
cynic.
Because there are quite a number Of
pretty girls who wouldn't marry moving
picture actors if they had a chance"
DUE TO BE SIGHTED.
What sort of man is Ruffkins?"
HE has an exaggerated idea of his owr
Importance"
ct thought So"
Eyes. He's going to be sadly disap-
pointed when peace is declared in Europe
without his advice being sought
HAVING A HEART.
Did the doctor give you much encourI
agement?"
Sure"
'said you would soon get well?"
mo. But he told me L could pay his
bill when I got the money"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
WANTS TO MEET CHAPLIN

From the New York World.
Paris-"One Of the reasons why I am
delighted to be going to America is that
I hope to meet Charlie Chaplin" said
Sarah Bernhard recently sailing for New
York. The eminent actress is convinced
that Chaplin Is a great artist. although
she never has seen him on the screen.
my son Is always urging me to see q
Chaplin" she explained, land certainly
shall do SO either here or in New York.
Her repertory on her Forthcoming
visit to America will consist chiefly Y
one-act plays and parts of the bettkl
known classics. In one of them she will
speak English on the stage for the first
time in her career.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
THE TRAVEL BOOK.

I've wandered far and wandered wide,
A heavy-hearted tourist sighed
But never yet have l deserted
A scene that filled me with delight"
MY friend" remarked thoughtful man,
i've travelled little, yet 1 can
Take down a book and as l scan
Its pages on a summers night,
View castled heights and cities old,
And eastern marts where slaves are sold,
And domes of ivory and gold
And many a vista fair to see.
So much and more this heart to please,
Although I've never crossed the seas,
Is mine the while l sit at ease,
In glowing words brought home to me-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29

l
lower cost over "free labor" and the
old contract system, but the work is
much more thoroughly done. A trip
throughout Jefferson county will show
that the roads are better constructed
and better kept than ever before.
There are no delays, no labor troubles
and no opportunities for contractors
to "gouge" the county where convicts
are used.
Not only would it be a poor policy
from an economic point of view to put
the convicts back in the mines, but
for humane reasons they should be
kept at work on the public roads. They
are we'll cared for, they lead a
healthy, open-air life, which, in many
cases, regenerates them. The convicts
themselves prefer the present ar
rangement and public sentiment
strongly upholds it.
To revert to the former practice of
farming out" convict labor to indus
trial concerns would be a decided step
backward. Let the county convicts
continue to work the county roads.
This is an ideal solution of the prob
lem which these unfortunates present.
X
While an eastern man and his wife
were fondly embracing, to show that
past differences were forgotten, an in
eliminating note fell out of the lady's
Russia is being paid great many COM
plIments these days by American news
papers Yet, there was time when they
seldom had kind word to say of her.
1t is reported from the gulf coast that
millions of oysters have been killed in
their beds by fresh water. oyster fisher
men are the chief mourners.
Movie fans have no fear that their
favorite amusement will be denied them
on Sunday. Just shows their confidence
in the liberal element"
If Senator Stone would rather spill his
blood than offend a democratic brother"
he'd better not go too far with Senator
Underwood.
Still, il Russia has more men than she
knows what to do with, why should the
allies insist on Italy's declaring war on
Germany?
English suffragettes look forward to
easy sailing after the war is over. John
Bull will come out of it in a chastened
mood.
Long Branch is looking forward to a
great day when President Wilson is no
titled of his nomination for reelection.
New York newspapers have recently
slave" stories of the gripping variety.
X
Some of the war news is interesting,
but the average official report is just
about as enlivening as the dictionary.
Eleven racing cars in one grand smash
up at Kalamazoo, Mich. That establishes
new record in fast motor circles.
The word having been passed along by
way of Switzerland, Italy now considers
herself at war with Germany.
Whatever may be said of Americas
melting pot" it seems to have turned
out some first class athletes
BY the way, what does Mrs. Hughes
think of Mr.. Hughes sudden popularity
with the ladies.
At this distance Venizelos appears to
be the most expert politician in Greece
The new President of China believes in
concise speech. The late Yuan did not.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
MAYBE.

Something should be done for bald
headed men"
"Yes?"
'"They don't get square deal in this
world
Perhaps not"
"But lust wait. Some of these days a
corking good love story is going to be
written about a bald-headed hero"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
IT'S DIFFERENT NOW

From the Knickerbocker Press.
Senator Underwood wants to forbid ii
enlistment of boys under q. Such ru
| would have barred three-fourths of II
soldiers in the civil war.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
SQUELCHED.

while Prof. Ruffinsky was playing the
violin 1t seemed to me that I heard
heavenly voices singing" said the tenn
peramental young woman. How did the
music affect you, Mr.. Dubson?'
"Oh-er-I was considerably moved
myself" answered that gentleman, but
when started to beat time to the music
by tapping my foot on the floor, several
people glared at me so fercely that 1
subsidized
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29

BEGINNING THE DAY-o Cod
may my worship today color my
thinking and my acting. May my
songs set FIRE to my lie, Way !
hear Thee speak to me today thas
may be tenderer and stronger TO-
,,,crroxy. save me from pretense'
..xe me from form, pour Thine own
self into me. In Christs name
Amen.-H. Nj. r.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
MONEY MAGIC.

THAT was a dreadful faux pas you
committed at Mrs. Jimpson's dinner
father"
Never you mind, daughter" replied the
self-made millionaire. mo matter what
I spilled on Mrs. Jimpsons tablecloth,
the spot would look to her like dollar
mark,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-08-29
HOTEL LOBBIES
The Brotherhoods, Position

Desiring to get the exact facts con-
corning the railroad agitation, now at a
serious crisis, 1 had a member of the
Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers ex-
plain the situation to me thoroughly
said John c. Moses, member of the
typographical union, yesterday
The public in general does not under
stand the situation. The brotherhoods do
not desire the eight-hour day, practi-
cally speaking, nor do they desire in the
majority of cases overtime after eight
hours.
What they do want is to be paid at
the rate of 121k miles per hour or at the
rate of 100 miles every eight hours. Over
time will not commence after eight hours,
as the public generally believes, if their
divisions are over 100 miles long To illus
trate: To be paid for 100 miles for eight
hours work, or $50 miles for u hours
work, or 200 miles for 16 hours work,
etc. All this above eight hours is not
considered overtime, but straight road
time. The law allows the road to work
the men but 16 hours out of any "a.
THE men have already conceded their
main point, which was for price and one
half after eight hours. They agreed to
go on at straight time, but contend for
the 12k miles per hour The men have
never contended to be paid for labor
they did not perform. but have always
given the companies 30 minutes on their
overtime, a point never conceded by any
other labor organization.
MY informant tells me that the public
has been misled by many newspaper ar
ticles, and the brotherhoods have been
done an injustice in many cases. Presi-
dent Wilson understands the@situation
thoroughly, which makes him strong in
his argument of holding the railroads re-
sponsible should a strike occur"