The Monticellonian., 1916-11-23

mustn't take all he says for dead ear he talks loud and in italics every oth- CT word, that he wants to do all the | talking and won't be interfered with. | That's the way he's apt to strike folks at first-but it's their mistake, not his. l Talk back to him-controyert him whenever he's aggressive in the utter ance of his opinions, and if you're only | honest in the announcement of your own ideas and beliefs. he'll like you all the better for standing by them. 1 He's quick-tempered, and perhaps a trifle sensitive, so share your greater patience with him, and he'll pay you back by fighting for you at the drop of the hat. In short, he's as nearly typical of his gallant country's brave, impetuous, fun-loving race as one man can be-
 "But is he quarrelsome? asked.
 Not at all There's the trouble If he'd only quarrel there'd be no harm. Quarreling's cheap, and Tommy's ex- trayagant. A big blacksmith here. the other day, kicked some boy out of his shop, and Tommy, on his cart, hap 1 pened to be passing at the time; and i he just jumped off without q word, and went in and worked on that fellow for about three minutes, with such disas- 1 trous results that they couldn't tell his shop from a slaughter house; paid an assault and battery fine, and gave the | boy dollar besides, and the whole thing was a positive luxury to him. | But 1 guess we'd better drop the sub | ject, for here's his cart and here's Tommy. HI there, you 'Fardown' l Irish Mick" called the Major, in afe fected antipathy, "been out raiding thei | honest farmers hen roosts again. have 1 you?"
 We had halted at a corner grocery | and produce store, as I took it, and the smoothfaced, shaven-headed man in wooden shirt, short vest. and suspen derleSs trousers so boisterously ads' dressed by the Major was just lifting, from the back of his cart coop of cackling chickens.
 | hli ah Nt bIdSlCi iNtIi it piled the handsome fellow, depositing the coop on the curb and strengthening 1 his tall, slender figure; "I were jist thinkin' of yeZ and the ducks, and here ye come quackin into the prisence of l r'yalty, Wid yer eanvas-back suit upon ye and the schwim-skins bechuxt yer | toes How air yeZ, anyhow-and air we startin' for the Kankakee by the mkt post?'
 Were to start just as soon as we get the boys together" said the Major. shaking hands. "The crowds to be at Andrews by four, and it's fully that 1 now; so come on at once. We'll go round by Munson's and have Hi send a boy to look after your horse. Come 1 want to introduce my friend here to you, and we'll all want to smoke and jabber a little in appropriate seclu- sion. Come On." And the impatient Major had linked arms with his hesi- tating ally and myself, and was turn ing the corner of the street
 Its an hours work have yet wid the squawkers,' mildly protested Tom my, still hanging back and stepping a trifie high but, as one Irishman would say till another, 'Yere wrong, but I'm wid yer"
 And five minutes later the three of us had joined a very jolly party in a snug back room with
 | The chamber walls depicted all around | With portraitures of huntsman, hawk. | and hound,
 And the hurt deer;
 and where, as well, drifted over the olfactory intelligence a certain subtle, | warm-breathed aroma, that genially combatted the chill and darkness of the day without, and, resurrecting | long-dead Christmases, brimmed the grateful memory with all comfortable | cheer.
 A dozen hearty voices greeted the appearance of Tommy and the Major, the latter adrotly pushing the jovial 1 Irishman to the front, with q mock heroic introduction to the general com pany, at the conclusion of which Tom nly, with his hat tucked under his left elbow, stood lowing with a grace of pose and presence Lord Chesterfield might have applauded.
 "Gintlemen," said Tommy, settling back upon his heels and admiringly contemplating the group; "gintlemen, I congratulate ye8 wid pride that shoves the thumbs O me into the arrum-holes of me weshkit At the l inShtigation of the bowld 0'Blowney -axin' the gintleman's pardon-I am here wid no silver tongue of illoquence to para-lyze yeZ, but I am prisent, as has been ripresinted, to jine wid yez i in a stupendOuS waste of gunpowder, and duckshot, and high wines and ham sandwiches, upon the silvonian banks of the ragin' Kankakee, where the 'di-dipper' tips ye good-by wid his 1 tail, and the wild loon skoots like a l sky-rocket for his exiled home in the alien dunes of the wild morass-or, as Tommy Moore so Elegantly describes the blashted birrud:
 Away to the dizhmaI shwamp he spheeds- His path Is rugged and sore l Through tangled juniper. beds of reeds, And many a fen where the serpent feeds, And birrud niver flew before
 And niver will fly any more.
 If iver he arrives back safe into civili- Zation again-and I've been in the poultry business long enough to know the private opinion and personal in tegrity of livery fowl that flies the air or roosts on poles. But, changin the subject of my few small remarks here, and thankin' yez wid an overflowin'