The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1916-12-18
A KING CAN
HELP HIMSELF
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1916, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
By M. QUAD

His royal n1bS OF Persia, finding
that his treasury was empty agair
and that a prima donna would soor
visit his capital to sing for him ant
would expect sunburst as big as 6
dinner plate, called Murphy. his roya
treasurer, to him and said:
Murphy, thus far you have been a
fiat failure. Your suggestions about
how to raise money have not been
worth peanut shucks."
"Your highness, can a man make
money out of nothing at all?" replied
Murphy. when l came here you had
/ full treasury; you had horses and
carriages; you had few diamonds
left. Where have they gone? Excuse
my plain speech, but you have vast
ed them In spite of all l could do.
If they are gone, is it my fault?'
"Of course it is your fault" said the
/ king. "It was your business as treas
urer to keep my Golfers supplied as
fast as i emptied them. | am king
and must live as king, and my treas
urer must be constantly planning new
ways to uphold my dignity. AS a
king who is almost dead broke can
have dignity? You know | can't You
don't seem to care a red cent whether
am Inundated or not"
"But l do care, o king. | care so
much and have planned so much that
my head is buzzing all the time. Just
now it would be relief to part with
it."
but l rather like you, after all, Mr..
Murphy. and shall let you keep your
head on your shoulders for awhile
and try to teach you something about
finance. 1t is true that / spend large
sums of money and that / have the
reputation of being waster, but /
know how to financier and get the
rhino back. For instance, bring hither
a poker deck"
Murphy disappeared for two min
utes and then came back, bringing a
pack Of cards and face that showed
detection and despair. He had had
that trick worked on him before, and
1t was coming again.
"Now, then, Murphy, l owe you
about $1,000 back salary. don't II"
asked the king.
TITS all Of that. your majesty" was
the reply.
"Well, I'll give you a chance to win
some more. Cut for deal. l take the
first deal How many cards do you
want?"
"None, o king"
"Ah-ah! You have got a pat hand,
eh2 Well, what is your betP"
Murphy replied that he would 60
$40, and when the king saw him and
raised him $40 more he had to keep
it up. 1t finally came to a showdown
with $500 in the pot, and the king
showed straight. while Murphy show /
ed flush.
Il take the potr' exclaimed the king
mot on that hand, your majesty. II
have flush here, and flush beats a
straight every time
1T used to, but l changed it some
time ago. Mr.. Murphy. don't look so
amazed"
"Now, then, have got a scheme to |
work. You ought to have thought of |
1t long ago. but haven't enough wit to. !
l want you to issue a royal edict that
on next Sunday evening all nv sub |
1ects who can gather here will witness
a strange phenomenon. At the time the /
moon rises a second moon will rise
also and there will be two moons in
plain sight at one and the same time"
But how can you make a second
asked Murphy.
Il can't" replied the king.
"Then the people who come to see It
VIII call you faker, won't theyY
They may call me anything they
feel like, but they will have to nav
cash for it. My little scheme is like
this: The next day after the moonlight
excursion l will notify all who were
here to let it be known whether they
saw one moon or two. They will be di.
vlded. While all will have seen only
one moon, part of them to fiatter mo
Will claim to have seen two"
You are right there, o king" ad.
mitted Murphy.
And l shall be right about other
things, my old has been. / want Won
to see about bottling up about 5000
bottles of clear water and LABELLING
each bottle Kings Eyewater.' l will
proclaim to those who didn't see but
one moon that something is wrong
with their eyes and that they must use
this eye water. The price will be e.
per bottle. l will also proclaim 70
those who say they saw two moons
mat something is also wrong with
their eyes. and they must buy a BOTTLE
and pay the same price. Now. then
can you see the point after / have
thrown it at your"
BY George, but it is greatp or.
claimed Murphy.
WelL not so very great. but r. win
1o-it win do said the king. ..If n
1ont bring in at least $4,000 then
VIII admit that 1 don't rule the SIM
ne moon, the stars and the seven seos
Now, Murphy. We win have another
1and at poker. Poker Is a very nlaas
INT and instructive amusement Won
nay win back all you have lost and