The Goldfield news and weekly tribune. [volume] (Goldfield, Nev.) 1911-1947, 1916-07-01
HIS BLOOD
PURIFIER
By M. QUAD
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright, 1916. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

"A
was chewing s~assafras root with great
energy, suddenly appeared in the wait
ing room of the depot across the river.
and as he approached a man who was
waiting for the western train he pulled
a bottle of liquid from an old satchel
in his hand and said:
MY friend. you are looking yaller
about the eyes, which is a sure sign
that your blood is in a bad state. One
bottle of my blood purifier will restore
you to health and vigor."
Don't want it. sir" was the reply.
"All right, mister, all right. III a fell
le- wants to keep on looking yaller
about the eyes when a pannycea is at
hand. that's his OWL business. Long
about the middle of April you'll be on
your back with Il spell of bilious fever.
but you needn't lay it up agin me.
The next person approached was a
sever looking woman about thirty
five years old. who was probably an
old maid.
Them yaller streaks at the corners
VI NOuI ulOutu uCuOtt a w hNNhs
ma'am." said the man as he gave the
bottle a shake. Something right here
to improve your looks so per cent"
"Sir!' she demanded in icy ones.
Only so cents a bottle, ma'am. and
made right i'm my own house from
herbs and roots gathered by my W
hands. Just opened the campaign. and
it's only so cents u bottle"
Go away, sir" she commanded.
Don't want any at all. eh?"
mo. sir"
"All right. madam, all right. Torpid
liver may be Il good thing to save
about the house. but | don't think so.
Here's your pannycea, and if you don't
want it | can't compel you to buy it"
The third passenger was a man with
a marked redness about the nose and
rough spots on his face. He was busy
with d newspaper when the old man
approached with:
lone bottle will cure that nose or
your money returned"
What. What's that?' demanded
the nan
Anu the SeCOuu Dottie VIII SuIc ali
those rough spots"
Look a-here. you old %reprObate.
What are you driving at anyhow"
II am selling a blood purifier. made
of roots and herbs. It's a little early
perhaps. but | want to get the start of
the buckwheat scratchers Are you a
drinking man or not?"
"Do you mean to insult me to my
face, sir? Why. I'll punch your head
off,"
Wouldn't do no good, sir. Here's
the only genuine blood purifier in the
country. and last year ] sold 1000 bot
ties Of it. Invigorates the liver. tones
up the blood. and if | can't cure up
that nose of yours | don't want a
cent"
"I'Il purify you. you old assassin
said the man as he started to take off
his coat. But just then n policeman
came up and told the old man he must
get out.
And not sell a bottle of my blood
purifier in this crowd?" he loudly asked.
Come. out you go.' said the officer.
And you don't want a bottle for
yourself? You've got a jaundice look,
and this medicine will cure 1t In five
big doses"
He was led out and told not to re
enter the depot. But he stood at the
door and said to the policeman:
"All right. officer. all right. If the
people don't want my blood purifier
they needn't have it. It's the season
to purify. but | never go agin the law.
and If there is a rampage of bilious
fever don't say | wasn't around with
my at regular price.
The officer made a move for him
and the old man ambled off down the
street to the corner. There stood a
man beside the lamppOst with deep
trouble in his looks and bearing. and
after a moment he was addressed with:
IF | ever saw a man who needed it
you are the c%ritter".
Are you talking to me. sir:' was
queried in reply. but the maj looked
straight across the street.
Right to you. my friend. You are
almost on your dying bed. but there is
one hope. 1t is my blood purifier. Ii
has cured when the doctor pronounced
the patient dead. lie Il dose down you
ut once
Thanks. but cannot change the
program now"
I'll give you the first dose without
charge"
But the old man saw II patrolman
p.unging across the street to gather
him in. and he made his escape to stop
a fat pedestrian ut the end OF the
block and say:
MY dear sir. you are fat and look
The picture of health. but is it solid fat
or bloat?"
What do you mean by addressing
such II question To me. sir: was stern
ly replied
IF it's bloat. sir. I have that which