davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

ANY Intelligent person. either sex. Of
good education and business ability;
must be able to handle correspondence
and write q good business letter. An
opportunity to start small but profit
able mail order business In your own
home or office good for 500 n week
when established: can be managed In
snare time evenings. or rs n side line
ut first: grows rapidly. Send for par
ticulars. Hencock Co. 600 Heacock
Building. Lockport N. Y.
FIFTY colored luborers wanted. APP
ply Virginia BUSINESS Exchange, 3l6
North Second.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

BGokkEErEH, YEAkS' EXPERT.
ENCE IN EoOKKEEPlNC. STEM
oG!tApHf. CREDITS. COILECrIONS
SIZES POSITION. TtiOROC,;HI.y
C0MrETENT, AND ABLE TO TAKE
CHARGE OF OFFICE or DEPART
Mem. REST REFERENC E.S 40
nEi:SS 800. CARE TINES DIS
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

EARN -. weekly, spare time. writing.
Tor newspapers, magazines. Expert
oncc unnecessary. details free. Press
Syndicate, PA st. Louis. Mo.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
HELP NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

THE Virginia Teachers Bureau dcsires
wcll-prcpared teachers to begin work
ut once in Virginia and Southern States.
guaranteed Correspondence solicited
y. w Cridlin. Manager. Woodland
Heights, Richmond. Va. Phone Mad-
son 5hIS. j. Walton Hall, manager
Gordonsville branch. Box Isl. GorLons-
Vile. Va
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

WOMEN wanted. fun time. salary SIS.
selling guaranteed hosiery TO wcarcr;
pcricnCc unnecessary. Wcurpront TO-
sicry. Norristown, Ia.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
FUNERAL NOTICES.

BEREIIAM.-Thc funeral Of MIR. NJ. NJ
BtRNEAM. aged fifty, who died Sat
urday morning, viii he held from Tia"
residence. l72I West Main Street, TO-
DAY at +. NJ.
KUCKER.--Thc funeral of MIR HENRY
:. RtCkER. who died 1T the home
of his brother in Los Angeles. Cal will
take plac" ut the residence o: his
fa'hcr-in- law. Mr. X. T.. lIiliiSl 2ii
South jefferson Street. TUESDAY,
February IL. at 2 o'clock Inter,nc,t
IN Rivervicw. Mr.. Fucker is survived
by his wife and one daughter: two
sisters and four brothers. His sister
Mrs. Owens. will accompany the body
to Virginia
Washington, Charlottesville and
L:nchbrrE papers please COPY
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

LADIES. a fascinating homo business; ,
tntinG postcards. pictures. etc. spare
time; make ST. weekly. no canvaSaiuc:
samples loc; particulars free. Artiut
61a-J, 1870 Manhattan Street. New York.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
HELP WANTED-Aiale.


I TWENTY-FIVE experienced colorcd
hodcarricrs. &c hour out city. Soc
Virginia business Exchange, 3l6 North
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
IN MENOItIAAi.

COSBY loving remembrance of our
d"ar daughter, GRACE LILLIAN
COSBY, who departed this life one year
ago to-day, February 49,
We loved her. yes we loved her,
But Jesus loved her more.
And he has sweetly called her
To Yonder shining shore.
The s soIdGn x ga1sa s were opened,
And with farewclls unspokcn.
She calmly entered home
~ HER DEVOTED PARENTS
pEyINE.-.In sad I'm, loving remem.
RET DENrNE. who left us one year
ago to-day.
One year has passed. our hearts still
AS time flies on we miss mother
Mother sleeps. We leave her in peace
The parting was painful. but Cod
knew best.
Rqt We know that you are happy
In 'hc mansion of the hlest;
here there Is no pain or sorrow
In your sweet eternal rest
BY HER THREE
MIILER.-tn loving remembrance OF
our daughter. MADELINE MILLER,
who was buried twelve months ago
to-day.
Dearest Madolire. how We miss YOU,
More than human tongues can tell;
But we are trying hard to meet yor!
Where no sad farcwel!s is said
Madeline no more do we hear YOUR
Sweet good night
For YOU are NOW happy in
Heaven SO bright
FATHER. MOTHER
AND BROTHER.
SCHULTI--ln sad. hrj loving rcmem-
hrauCe of o'Ir dear parents AUGUST
FREDERICK SCHULTZ, born February
ANNIE HooMEs BRiDGEs sCHtLTz.
born February IL, 1857, died July IS.
1915.
Farewell alas, our father dear:
Thy form lies cold and S.!ll:
Thy death has caused Il vacant place
This world can never fill
There was an angel band i'm heaven
. Ihat was not quite complete
so God took cur darling mother
10 NIL the vacant seat.
How we miss you-miss Won
More than can toll:
Eyery hour and Il ~ that passes
RrinEs us nearer you 10 dwell
oh. how hard We tried TO save vou.
Prayers and tears wers all in vain.
HAPPY angels came and bore YOU
From this world OF grief and main
CHI
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

WANTED, by n rol"rcd hoy. work n
SIG North Seventh Street
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

YOUNG man desires position Thor
ouEhly experienced in stcnography
win knowledSc or clerical and book
work iicSt references. Address ! @n5
care Times piSpntch 80
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

i'tNf man desires position as fire.
man. bclt lacing and also operating
engine. Good references ii desired. i
2O3. care Times Dispatch
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

EXPERIENCED salesman Is open for
position in the Carolinas or Virginia
territory. Manufacturers or speciality
line preferred. References given. Nd,
dress i0N SOL. davidson. y g
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
HELP WANTED-Femaic.

WANTED. Experienced steno=ra phor :
chance for promotion. Jip Mutual
EflilLint.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

PRIVATE offices, quick service. VIII
be pleased to have your application
for any line Of work American En-
Street
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
Bookkeeper & Stenographer

Wanted. competent combination book
Keeper and stenoSruphcr; prcferabl"
with experience III lumber business.
Prefer one VINO does not object To
working late. Office near Tenth and
Main. Address in own handwriting.
giving references and stating expert
cuce and salary desired. Address J
2ol. care Times Dispntcb
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

WANTED thoroughly experienced
mems clothing salesman. Only those
who know their business need apply,
To the superintendent. the Weisherger
Co.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

HAIi'-,iIipWN i;iri wanted for general
h"uscwork. si6 IL East clay street.
upper nat.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
HELP WANTED-aiale.

Employment Agency.
For Work,
See
Virginia Business
Exchange,
Nirginia's Select
Employment
Agency,
ZIG North Second.
Have
Put Thousands
Work.
Placing
Statesmen, BOokkcsperS.
Stenographers. Office Help.
Railroad and Store Clerks,
Stenographers, Collectors,
Mechanics. Men of Trades,
Reliable Men for Any Work.
Call. Talk
1t Over With Me.
Va. Business Exchange,
The
Job Hunters
Friend.
WANTED, moro men 70 prepare ms IRE
men. brakcmen, motormen, conduc-
tors: also Colored sleeping car and train
porters. Washington and New York
roads Write now for application
way Institute. care Times Dispa tch.
CIVIL service examinations open the
way 10 good government positions.
I can coach you by mail at small cost.
Full particulars free to any America II
citizen Of Is or over. Write to-day for
booklet CT: 1874. Earl Hopkins. Wash :
ington, d. G.
WANTED, men and women TO qualify
for government positions. Several
few months. Full information about
Write Immediately FOR BOOKLET CO Isl,
Earl Hopkins. Washington, ID. c.
pORTERS. auto drivers, hotel help,
buffers and other colorcd help want :
ed. Apply Virginia Business EN-
change. 3l6 North Second
GOVERNMENT examinations. Thor
ough instruction. So. Returned il
lean Civil Service School. Washington
II. &.
FARM and dairym.n, hotel and cafe
or quarry help supplied quickly; no
charge. American Employment Bureau,
Foster building. North Ninth Street.
TW TWENTY-FIVE machinists and tool
makers for Baltimore. 40c to 44c and
more promised. Apply Virginia Bust
ness Exchange. 3l6 North Second.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

EXPERIENCED bookkeeDer wants no.
Sittou: married: highest references
i i0". care Times DiSpatch
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
SITUATIONS wANTEp-ssare.

ENPERT ENCED. all-round baker wants
steady position, city or country.
Haydecker. 30+ South Pine Street
Phone Madison 1864.
COAL salesman. experienced. success
full. clean record. desires change q
$50, care Times Dispatch.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

WANTED. > or 8 good ladies, house-ip-
house canvasSers. Call Monday.
Room 3il. American National Bank
bldg.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

EXPERIENCED automobile mechanic
wants position with reliable auto or
machine shop. ,;ood references. Call
boulevard 1917.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. an experienced
millincr for out OF town position.
Bloombcrg Millinery Co, 5o4 East
Broad street.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
CIIAUTAUQUA
REPRESENTATIVE.

REPRESENTATIVE.
a young or middle-aged man
OF fine character. convincing
manner. business ability and
college education may, if his
references are satisfactory, OBJ
tain highly remunerative and
congenial employment travel
ing through th+J Southern States
organizing Chautauquas. Min
listers or teachers familiar With
rural community problems pre-
ferred.
The Radcliffe Attractions,
w. l.. Radcliffe, Manager,
406-410 Star Building
Washington, D. c..
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

COMPETENT bookkccpcr and cashier
desires position at once: years oxpt.
ririitc IN ful! charge home Office books
Thoroughly understands coruorutiof, rc
ports pay rolls SyStcnatizin- Age
IS; married. No. references and
can furnish any amount OF bond re-
0uircd. Wholesale Or manufacturing
accounts preferred. Address j 2Oo, care
Times Dispatch.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

YOUNG man wants position; cxrcrl-
encod collector. salesman. shipping
clerk. Knows city thoroughly: refer
encc, \ 800. caro- Times Dispatch
POSITION in bank. Can givo bond
and excellent reference. Address i.
O. BOX .. Alberta, Va.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

LADIES, earn money and emioy selling
our beautiful line OF fancy aud staple
wash fabrics among your friends and
neiEhbors. No money required. Ref
erenccs necessary. Our representatives
enthusiastic over our line and results.
Send Immediately for particulars Sc
cure your tcrritor: before it's taken.
Old Colony Textile Company, 294 (Bx.).
Eroadway New York
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

SILNEtlNCi mirrors. So daily 1T home:
| free Instructive booklet G.. l.. Red
mund. Dept. 3i4. Boston. Mass.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

LADY with high school or college edu-
cation. unuuestioncd culture and re
nnemcnt. with pleasing appearance: IS
TO 80 years old. ia, high class travelling
position. The position wc offer does
not require previous business cNreri-
cncc or the inVcsjiuo;l: -! an: money.
as finance YOU. splendid opening
for qualified applicant right away. Nd
dress Geo. l.. Shun,an & Co, 1919 North
American Bldg. Philadelphia. Pa
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

Hcii.ERMAKERS. Stcan'it,ers. ma
"hnists. air rivet.rs. helpers for
ShipIard near Baltimore. Must be cN
pcricnccd. Apply Virginia business
IN ChMnEc. Bic North Sccnnd
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

WE want 20 white men OF good char
acter and polite address to represent
the Order OF Owls In Richmond If
you deliver the goods, will pay you
$40 per day. Apply at tho Office, 4l6
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

FARM and dairym:n, hotel and cafe.
or quarry help supplied quickly; no
charge. American Employment Bureau.
Foster building, North Ninth Street.
TW ENTY-FINE ma chinists and tool
makers for Baltimore. 40c to 4Ic and
more promised. Apply Virginia Bust
ness Exchange. ZIG North Second
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13

LADIES. make shields at home. $40 per
100: no canvassing required. Send
stamped addressed envelope for par
ticularS. Eureka Co, Dept l3S-D.
Kalamazoo, Mich.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1916-02-13
w anted Young Man

Who writes good hand to clerk in lun-
Der yard; preferably one who is pro-
icicnt on typewriter Apply in own
Hhhd, giving business experience and
stating SALARY desired. Address \ 3lI,
care Times Dispatch
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
PERSONAL MENTION

Mr.. Ayers, fcreGan of the Ever
green flo.atiop plant at Apex, went
to Denver to spend the Fourth with
his mother.
e. j. Werttack, of the Hamilton
National bank, Denver, was in town
the fore part of the week examin-
ing mining porperty in the Russell
district.
Mrs. Ii. P. Davies, of Denver came
up Tuesday to spend the summer in
this cool and bracing atmosphere.
Miss Mary Hyndman took this af-
ternoon's train for Denver.
L. sternbenger and party from Den
yer visited the city Monday.
Shad Reid, manager OF the Ever
green mine at Apex. was a visitor
in town today.
VIM. Launder came over from Ida
ho Springs today to fix up the graves
CT his father and two brothers in
City cemetery.
Miss Gertrude Rawden, who has
been spending her school vacation in
the valley will return home Sunday.
Arthur Vial and family have rented
the cottage opposite George Hender-
sons residence ON Lawrence street.
o. l.. Patterson and family drove
to Nederland in his King car on
the Fourth.
DIR. Guy Ashbaugh and family, VIM.
Mcleod and family and j. R. Rule
and family, with Rev. Herriott thrown
in for good measure, picnicked at
Glen Lowe Tuesday.
j. R. Rule left. for Denver this
morning to take a perspiration bath.
Mrs. George Matthews and Beatrice
Rule spent Sunday in Boulder park.
James DAILY went to Denver on
the Fourth.
Mr.. C. Richie, brother of Mrs.
Guy Ashbaugh spent the Fourth Wis
iting with his sister.
Ralph Chase spent the Fourth with
his family in Denver.
1hks tuC RhocO6AophSi, 10
visiting in Central. He is now DO
Gated in Ft. Morgan.
VIM. Textbook did his shootin' off
in Denver the Fourth, returning home
Thursday.
R. N. Lewis and family. E. w. Dav
is and family, w. j. Lewis and Mrs.
Tollman spent the Fourth at Cold
Springs picnicking.
Harry Willis and family, and w. S.
Smith and family spent the Fourth
at Glen Lowe.
Fred Caldwell and family spent In
dependence Day at Fall River.
Fred Bushover, an old time resi-
dent spent several days this week in
Central visiting old friends.
James Wood went to Denver the
Fourth to see some of his VERY near
relations. '''-- 07"' q
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
WHEN LOVE WAS YOUTHFUL
The Little Girl With q PigtaII and
Skinny Legs 10 Sweet Memory to
Dayton journal Man.

Did you marry your first little
sweetheart, she Of the pinafore frock
and, perhaps. the barber-pole stock
ings? 1t is certain that at times she
wore a cute little braided queue,
though sometimes-when she was
dressed up-her hair hung in curls
down her slender back. How the sun
glinted in those curls, making them to
shine with splendor akin to that
which lights the wing of drifting an
gels in the dreams of night!
Do you remember where you stood
when you first kissed her? OF course,
you do, says q writer in the Dayton
(O.) Journal. That is an incident
which is craven in our memory for.
ever and ever. You felt thrifty and
chilly and warm and were half scared
to death. You saw God in her eyes
and felt him in your soul. Wouldn t
you give all you have. or ever expect
to have, in exchange for the innocence
of your heart as it beat that day
against the little throbbing heart in
her tender breast?
ouI uIu yOu marry ucT. 0Ouo Syu-
dicate writer is asking the question.
and promises soon to tell US all about
it, provided lot of people will first
write letters telling her all about it.
Perhaps you married this little
woman of dreams. and perhaps you
did not. The chances are that you
did not. But you will remember the
sweet ache that troubled your soul in
the days when you were wooing her
with a chivalry unknown to all who
have passed beyond the heavenland
of childhood.
When you think of her now your
soul yearns backward to that never
never land, and maybe the moisture
of sweet sad tears fills your eye.
Did you marry her? Did you?
II you did, then, sometimes, when
you take her hand, in the quiet of a
summer evening, together you may
read the palmicst Of memory, joying
as It is given to but few mortals to
rejoice.
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
To Do Away Win Old sv.t.r.

The government of India has decid-
cd to abolish the system of indentured
emigration to British colonies, but II
will be allowed for further period
OF five years in order to permit the
various colonies to adjust themselves
to the labor conditions necessarily en-.
tailed by the abolition Of the inden-
ture system. For practically half a
century the colony OF Trinidad had
been dependent upon indentured Ia
borers from India, commonly known
as coolies, for the working OF the
large sugar cocoa estates. Their la.
Dor was the cheapest to be had, averag.
ing about twenty-four cents per day
during the indentured period. East
Indians now number approximately
$1,000 and constitute one-third of the
colony's population.
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
DANGER LIES IN BOILED EGG
Scientists Discover Deadly Germs In
Poultry Product-Buy Only
Fresh E00s.

The fact that hens having certain
diseases well known to chicken fan
ciers lay eggs from which come chicks
that soon develop the parental dis.
ease led DR.. Leo F. Rettger. Thomas
G. Hull and William 8. Sturges Of the
Sheffield laboratory. Yale university,
and the Storrs agricultural expert.
ment station. to investigate the posi-.
bility Of such eggs being injurious to
man.
Doctor Rettger is the discoverer Of
the so-called bacterium pullorum,
which makes the hen sick. is in her
egg when 1t is laid and then makes
the chicken that is Matched sick. He
and his associates report to the Jour.
nal Of Experimental Medicine that
adult fowls and young rabbits, to
which they fed infected eggs, soon
died, that kittens and guinea pigs
showed signs Of poisoning. but that
rats were unaffected.
They did not feed infected eggs to
human beings, but they cooked them
in several ways and then examined
them for the bacteria. Boiling for FIVE
minutes did not destroy these.
Poaching made the eggs sterile. Fry.
ing on one side had no effect. but fry.
ing on both sides destroyed the dis.
case germs. Coddling was effective
only when continued for at least FIVE
minutes.
Cases Of poisoning. sometimes on a
wide scale, after eating eggs are quite
common. So is the infection of fowls.
Hence" say these experimenters in
their report. "a large proportion of the
marketed eggs is infected with bac.
terium pullorum." They warn con.
sumers against any eggs but those
that are quite fresh, as the bacteria
in them develop very rapidly. espe.
cially in summer.
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Speaking His Mind.

"Permit me to give you some good
advice" said the meddlesome person.
Go ahead" replied the irascible
man. You can't make me feel any
worse than do already"
"Oh. II you are going to take 1t that
way. I'll keep silent
That's right! Shut up like a clam
now and catch me some other time
when you will have better chance to
spoil my day"
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
SEEMS PROBABLE.

"Now, don't tell me that opportu-
nifty has never knocked at your door, !"
said the didactic person.
II wouldn't make such statement"
replied the disconsolate Individual,
because I'm not sure Of the facts,
but I'm reasonably certain about ono
thing"
"And what Is that?"
III she ever did SO she probably
knocked just about the time some
chump came along in his automobile
and footed his horn SO loudly ]
couldn't hear her."
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Too True.

"Look.a here. SAM"
"Yes, Liza
rs begginnin' to think yer doesn't
love me no more"
Nonsense, Liza; what put dat in
yer head?"
why, yer jus sit thar by the fire
and sees me work"
BLESS yer, Liza! The more I sits
here and sees yer work the more
loves yer, honey"
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Good Advice.

IT !. knew the voters wanted me-
! would run for Office" said the mod
est man.
my friend replied the practical
politician. you have the wrong idea
entirely"
why so?"
Don't wait to find out whether or
think they want you."
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Adding to French Wealth,

Sixty families OF the Maisons Abort
iuburb OF Paris have received assign.
nents Of uncultivated land for plant.
ng potatoes and other vegetables. the
action being under decree by the
French minister OF agriculture. This
the first practical application Of the
measures adopted for the utilization
II all previously uncultivated lands.
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Considerations Without Weight.

Considerations Without Weight.
Don't you know that Shakespeare's
chirography was poor. and that he
spelled his name as his fancy hap
pened to dictate?" inquired the Ba-
conite.
81 don't recall" replied the loyal
admirer. I'm an advocate Of the
use Of the typewriter and spelling
reform"
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
AppreeiatiXe.

ApPrectat1Ve.
Now, this poet has the right idea
about doing business" said the editor.
You surprise me-"
Before submitting . sonnet he
presents me with a first-class cigar"
Suppose the poem is not worth pub
lishing?"
"Oh, I'm not without . sense of
gratitude. I'll contribute a two-cent
stamp and see that he gets his verses
back again."
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
looklna IL 0xar.

A visitor to Indianapolis, who is
six feet four inches in height, was
asked by an acquaintance II he had
seen the federal building
NO" said the visitor. II was in the
oeighborhood. but did not see IT,"
you probably overlooked IT," was
he comment Of the acquaintance.-In
dianapoiis News
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Speaking Frankly.

I'm sorry we lost our case" said
the lawyer.
Don't drag me into it," snarled the
disgruntled client. Il don't mind ac-
knowledging that caused the case
to be made. but decline to share in
the responsibility for losing it,
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
A Happy ThouQht.

Tommy, how many times must
tell you to wash your face?'
But, ma, I've just washed it,
Nonsense. One side is covered with
dirt"
That's all right, ma, II you will let
me play on the front veranda I'll keep
the clean side toward the street."
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Relief In Sjuht,

do you smile when a comedian on
the stage says, I feel that I'm going
to sing?"
Sometimes"
Yes"
AS rule when he makes an an
nouncement like that he is nearing the
end of his monologue."
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Cant Afford IL.

Hasn't your father had q haircut
lately?"
No"
why not?"
"He can't afford IT,"
Got no money!"
mot that. He's got no hair"
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Costly Merrjment,

my poor man, how did you happen
to be arrested?" asked the sympa.
thetic prison visitor.
1T wuz due to poor judgment.
num-" replied the second-story man.
How was that?'
Il poked pistol in cove's face an
he trembled 80 laughed at i'm. Dat
made i'm 30 mad he jumped on me,
beat me to a frazzle, an turned me
over to de COPS
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Downright Dishonesty.

7 want to buy an egg-the largest
you have In stock"
only one egg, sir?"
yes. I'm trying to sell six prize
laying hens to friend Of mine. and
! want the egg for a sample Of what
they can do"
Gilpin observer., 1916-07-06
Different Ideals.

Different Ideals.
Parents often disagree about rear
ing children"
Yes. A mother likes a boy who
wouldn't get a speck OF dust on his
clothes. And father likes one who
doesn't care what happens to his
wardrobe when he makes up his mind
to slide for second base"