davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
WHAT A SMART JUDGE!

If there is any question you want
answered, apply to Judge Richard S.
Tuthill of the circuit court in Chica-
go. He knows the answer to every
thing.
How old Is Ann? Did the whale
swallow Jonah? What causes sun
spots? Is the story Of the ark a myth :?
Oh, just any old question! 1t doesn't
matter. The Judge is so smart he can
tell you without even stopping to
think, says the Springfield News
Record.
He is the Judge who decided last
week that Bacon and not Shake
speare wrote Shakespeare's works.
Evidently the judges Investigations
were deep and searching, for he dis
covered many things no one ever knew
before. He learned, for instance, that
education was looked down upon in
Bacon's time and that Bacon himself
tried to appear uneducated.
you see," this wise Judge says, cit
being thought mean and low to be edu-
Gated, Bacon was fearful of the effect
upon his reputation if it became
known he was boOkworm."
Heretofore most people have been
under the impression that the Eliza
bethan period was distinguished by its
devotion to learning and the arts. It
has been common belief that Bacon
was recognized by his contemporaries
as one of the best educated of the many
we'll educated men of the time because
Of his learned writings on various sub
iects.
Among others Alexander Pope Ia
bored under this delusion, for he de-
scribes Bacon as the wisest Of man
kind.
But this circuit Judge has decided
1t was considered low and mean to be
educated and that therefore Bacon
hid the fact, and, of course, that settles
it.
However, we can't quite understand
why, if Bacon was so anxious to con-
ceal his education, he didn't publish
his essays under the name Of Shake
speare and why, If learning was In
such i'll repute, he went to so much
trouble to publish in his own name his
Advancement of Learning"
But, understand, we are not dis
putting what the Chicago Judge says
about it. He ought to know, for ne
had every opportunity to get first hand
information from the stock yards.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
PREPAREDNESS PROGRAM MEANS
DEFEAT IN WEST.
washington Cd. CD Times.D

w dSDluktUn VI. VI lihSo'P
ANY party or candidates that goes
to the middle west with prepared
ness" program will meet disaster, Is
the opinion of Senator Cummins' cam
paign managers today after scanning
returns which show Henry Ford still
leading comfortably in the Nebraska
primaries. Cummins fully expected 10
carry this state with an easy margin.
Senator Norris gave him active sup
port. Though on the surface he main
tanned an attitude Of confidence that
the final returns from the state would
bring a Cummins triumph, Senator
Kenyon, one of Cummins' managers,
recalled that the rural vote in Michl-
gan had been fully as friendly to Henry
Ford as was Detroit.
This is a straightout peace vote,
said Kenyon. No one can describe
Cummins as a militarist.
But Henry Ford has come to typify
pacifcism, and in the middle west that
Is powerful political influence.
"No candidate who talks war or big
army and navy can gain foothold.
He may get some votes in the cities,
but the rural communities are almost
unanimous against such a plan"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Second Decision.

Bloomington Bulletin: Another SUI
preme court session has decided that
women may legally vote on the local
option question. This case went up
from Pana and was that of man who
was fined. He was, however, given
new trial on the ground that he had
been compelled to testify against him
self. Bloomington has demonstrated
that women do not shut their eyes and
vote any more than do the men. There
are large numbers who inquire as to
facts and conditions and register &C
cordingly. At any rate it is we'll to
have the legal aspects fully determined
in the higher courts, although the abil-
ity of women to vote intelligently is
admitted and is not point to be sett-
led by any judicial tribunal.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
AUTO REGULATIONS.

The Safety First Federation of Amer
ica is accomplishing a good work in
studying the requirements for automo-
bile regulation and In urging uniform
laws throughout the country. For
more than year, and in conjunction
neers. this organization made a close
study OF the requisites Of a model auto
mobile dimming ordinance, following
which IL recommended this form:
Wherever there is not sufficient
light within the limits OF the highway
location clearly TO reveal all persons,
vehicles or substantial objects within
said limits for q distance OF at least
$50 feet, the headlights Of all motor
vehicles in motion shall give sufficient
light TO reveal any person, vehicle or
substantial object on the road straight
ahead of such motor vehicle for dis
lance of at least $50 feet. The head
lights shall be so arranged that no
portion Of the beam Of reflected light
when measured 10 feet or more ahead
of the lamps, shall rise above AZ inches
from the level surface on which the
vehicle stands. Such headlights shall
also give sufficient side illumination to
indicate any person, vehicle or sub
stantial object 10 feet TO the side OF
said motor vehicle at point 10 feet
ahead of the lamps. The terms beam
of reflected light shall be con-
strued as meaning the approximately
parallel localized rays gathered and
projected by a reflector lens or other
device"
. This ordinance has been adopted in
New Orleans. St. Louis, Boston and
Cleveland and the results are said TO
be favorable. Indianapolis has not
adopted the model ordinance, but has
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
one Of It's own. which provides as fol-


lows:
That any headlight display on any
motor vehicle or motor bicycle shall
be so constructed, equipped and oper-
ated that the reflected rays therefrom
shall not rise higher than a line ex-
tended drawn parallel, with and AZ
inches above the surface Of the road
on which such vehicle or bicycle may
be standing or moving"
The Safety First Federation has
been watching the test OF the Indian
apolis ordinance with much interest.
According to the Indianapolis News
the ordinance has not been altogether
successful, for one reason. because it
has not been fully enforced. Compar-
ing the two ordinances the News says
there is nothing in the Indianapolis
ordinance concerning side illumination
or the distance ahead to which the
rays Of light shall penetrate, and ad-
mits that this may be serious defect
as traffic casualties have shown that
dim headlights sometimes are more
dangerous than brilliant ones.
The News is rather inclined to favor
the model ordinance. 1t says that a
comparison of the Indianapolis and the
Safety First Federation ordinances
shows the Indianapolis regulation to
be less effective than was supposed.
It feels, however. that the Indianapolis
ordinance should be thoroughly tested
that is vigorously enforced-and if
It breaks down, then 1t should be
amended.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
SUGAR AND GASOLINE.
Chicago Journal.)

tChlCago Journal
The United States senate started
forward the other day and met itself
coming back. 1t passed a resolution
to investigate the high price of gaso-
line, with view, presumably, to com
polling a reduction Of that price if pos
sible. Then, on the same day, 1t
passed another resolution to retain
the present tariff on sugar until 1920,
thereby adding one cent per pound to
the price of sugar during that time. If
consistency is a Jewel, the senate has
the satisfaction of knowing that it has
avoided any vulgar display Of gems.
Why should the government whack
one trust for holding up the price OF
gasoline, and help another trust hold
up the price Of sugar? Why Is it a
crime to charge extortionate rates for
a commodity which only part of the
people use, and a virtue to foster ex-
tortion On a commodity which every
citizen uses three times per day?
Wherein Is robbery at the table easier
to bear than robbery at the garage?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Is Proud Of the President.

Chicago Post; The president has
made his case for humanity" He has
made it for America first" too He has
ranged his country on the side of the
right and progress in the great sea is
sue raised by the war-the issue
whether the submarine or civilized
law on the high seas shall prevail
This is an issue which goes to the
root of the worlds advance. To settle
it right is cause worth dying for as
any war cause can be. In it is bound
up the cause of freedom itself.
We are proud today of the president
Of the United States. His countrymen
will face whatever may come, calm in
the conviction that he has done
the right thing and the inevitable
thing. With this consciousness any
nation can await the course of events
with a clear conscience and a cour-
ageous heart.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26

Is there any such thing as hair
tonic" or scalp tonic? If SO, the
young man who is just beginning to
grow bald will be eager to try it.
1t is Just as logical to think that
medicinal applications rubbed into
the ends of the fingers will make
the nails grow faster as it is to be-
lieve that any alleged hair tonic"
rubbed into the scalp will cause a
better growth of hair.
Why do men grow bald? That is
a question upon which theorists
have speculated wonderfully for
hundreds Of years, but men con-
tinue to grow bald about as fast as
ever. There is just one elementary
fact which can be accepted by all.
namely, that failure Of nutrition of
the hair follicle is the cause of the
hair dropping out or ceasing to
grow. Our own personal theory Is
that mems headgear tends to inter
fere with scalp nutrition by press
ure upon the arteries, and at the
same time prevents the natural
preservative action of air and sun
light.
But anyway. nutrition Of the hair
follicle is deficient. Can it be i'm
proved by artificial means? Yes,
belond the shadow Of doubt. Mass
age Of the scalp is the sure remedy
Massage must be done by the individ-
ual himself -and it is excellent exer-
else, too.
1t must be done at least once a day
better two or three times a day, for
about FIVE minutes at time. And Il
is most readily performed in the fol-
lowing manner:
Grasp the scalp with the open
hand and, with firm pressure, endeavor
to gather up handful Of scalp In a
bunch. First one hand, for few
grabs, then the other, alternately, for
it is really hard work. Keep 1t up
going Systematically over the entire
scalp, until the skin Is in warm
glow. Do it vigorously. Don't be
afraid to put muscle into the work.
A scalp massage, self administered
Is only fair recompense for the in
jury done the scalp by unnecessary
wearing Of hats. Hats, for men, are
unnecessary about nlne-tenths of the
time. mere vain adornment and moth
| ing more.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
WITH OTHER EDITORS

desires Of the United States in the
matter would be acquiesed in. But.
on the contrary. the submarine atroc-
tiles were not only continued, but
perseyered in on a larger scale, and
as inhumanly and repugnantly as
characterized in the case Of the Lusi-
tania. And the people will solidly
stand in support Of the president in
this action, for the kaiser is the ag-
gressor, and our honor, our dignity,
and our interest in humanity, dictate
and compel US to. even if our love of
country and patriotism were dormant,
which we do not believe is the case.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Prince Albert Poor Marksman.

London.-Prince Albert. the second
son of the present King George,
proved himself poor marksman re-
Gently when he opened a miniature
rifle range in the courtyard of the
house of lords for the use OF peers,
members of parliament and officials OF
parliament. The prince concluded
what was his first public speech by
announcing that he would proceed TO
declare the range open by firing the
first shot and by trying his best to
make bulls eye He did not succeed
but made a hit above the mark.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
People VIII Back Wilson,

East st. Louis Journal: President
Wilson has taken an action concern
ing the submarine controversy between
this country and Germany that he could
not have well longer postponed and
uphold the dignity of his country, and
maintain the respect and confidence OF
the people in himself as their presi-
dent. The president has surely been
more than considerate and patient in
polonged negotiations because of the
reiterated assurances Of the kaiser's
diplomatic authorities that views and
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26

the Paradise was ready to entertsa,
all patrons on scale of unexampled
magnifieence"
"Great Caesar he whispered a. \.
held up his hand. Say, gal. you are
wonder! What about wsges?"
you are too poor TO pay any wage,
for the first month at least"
"Doggone me IL ain't, but I'll tsu
you what I'll do, and 7 never brok.
my word vet to man, woman or tsIs.
graph pole. II you will work for
month and get things shlpshape viii
marry you-yes, by gosh. I'll NARY
you! That will be better than wagass
But I shall have something to saw
about that" replied as rose up.
It was three days before the new,
got around In Jackson's Hollow tha.
a new move was on foot at the Psrs.
disc hotel. The idlers dropped In IN
the number Of twenty or more. and
when they saw me flying from room
to room with broom and mop they had
many compliments for me. In fact.
more than a dozen OF them offered ma
their hands and hearts In marriage
In each case replied that was high.
~ fattered, but had no time to fool
away.
1t will surprise you to learn that IN
a months time the old shebang was
doing good tavern business. and Mrs.
Carson's boarding house was almost
deserted.
When the month was q little more
than up the landlord came to me as
was frying pancakes for the break.
fast Of dry goods drummer and said:
Matilda, what about our g,ttin'
married. (
I told him TO go away until I had
fried six or eight more pancakes and
thought the matter over, and the re-
suit was that we were married that
evening. and forty-nine lovers and
travellers kissed the blushing bride.
All went as happy as the pig In the po-
tato patch for week or more, and
then my husband came into the kitch-
en- one day and found me using kero-
sene to hurry up the fire. With an i'm.
pulse, which was very creditable in
him, he reached out and cuffed me on
the ear. That ear tngles yet, al
though many years have passed since
got the cuff. He lodged the stove lid
which I threw at him, and half an
hour later he was as dead as Hanni.
bal the Great He had died while SIT
ting in his chair He had used too
much energy In cutting me and had
burst blood vessel. / called In doc.
tor.
Would It surprise you TO learn that
your husband Is dead" he asked OF
me after he had paved around for
awhile.
mot bit" I replied "He was too
good for this world anyhow"
my fee is So, madam. and you will
please pay it in small bills"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Selected by Tavenner

The Journal repeats its belief that
democrats in congress are making
grave blunder in yielding to the speci-
GUS arguments of the sugar trust. III
the government needs more revenue,
pass a national inheritance tax law,
and lower the exemption limit on the
income tax. There is no excuse for
retaining tariff which takes S90,000,-
900 from the American people. gives
barely half this sum to the govern
ment, and hands over the rest to the
Cuban and Hawaiian planters and to
the trust which confessed to robbing
the United States treasury through
short weights.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
The Matter With Mann,

Alton Times; Representative Mann
the republican official kicker in CON
gress, had the bad taste, yesterday. to
assail the presidents integrity from
the floor Of the house. He accused
him of being "pro-English" and
charged that his address was for the
purpose Of boosting his campaign
for reelection. Let US get down to the
true inwardness Of Mann's rejoinder:
He represents a foreign constituency
in Chicago. He is anti-English and his
attack on the president was for the
purpose Of promoting his own political
interests among the class he repre-
sents.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
The Daily Story
Matilda Brixs, Widow BY M. Quad.

/ arrived at Jacksons Hollow to
find 1t town on A hill. 1t was a
quiet hour on warm day when ar
rived. There were few men on the
streets, but they were so busy trying
to get up a dog fight that they gave
me scant heed.
I don't know to this day why I en-
tered the hotel. I suppose 1t was fate.
The landlord Of the place was In the
office. he sat In a chair with his feet
In another, and he was asleep with
his mouth open. He was bareheaded
and baldheaded, and a hundred or
more flies were running up and down
his bald pate trying to find soft spot.
l took of my hat and sat down and
famed away the insects. After about
FIVE minutes and with a lonesome
smile on his face the man woke up
and whispered:
ooh, mother, that is 50 nice"
But I am not your mother" re-
piled.
Then who are you"
Il am only the widow Brixs, sir"
"And what do you want here"
II want to see your wife"
But You can't unless you can fy.
Her soul passed into the beyond about
three years ago, and since then have
had to 60 1t alone"
After look around and seeing the
dirt and dust and cobwebs and con-
fusion that prevailed I said:
You seem to have made hard work
Of 1t going 1t alone"
Eyes, it's little tough to be with
out wife when you have had one for
twenty years. do my own cooking,
washing. mending and bedmaking"
This Is tavern, and what about
the travellers" I queried.
"Oh, there are no travellers but me,
and I don't travel very much except in
my dreams. All the travellers 60 to
Mrs. Carson's boarding house, and I
am rather glad Of it, as my style of
cooking might bring about tragedy"
"Mebbe you want to bust up Mrs
Carson's boarding house?" I answered
But how will I do itT' he asked,
with little animation In his voice.
yes, believe would like to bust up
her house, because 1 have asked her
three times to marry me, and three
times she has throwed me down"
"If you will hire me I'll bust her
boarding house within a month" I
said
"Lordy me! But how would you do
itT' he exclaimed.
II should begin by busting, mS2-
ping, washing windows and making
this old pigpen look like a first class
hotel at Newport. I presume there is
weeks work in the kitchen setting
things to rights, but I am a worker.
When I got things cleaned up should
want you to buy some provisions and
see that the word went around that
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
KANSAS PEOPLE AND PREPARED.
NESS.
(The National Field, official organ Of
the Farmers Union.)


(The National Field, official organ Of
the Farmers Union.)
Just how other states in the west
and south may stand on preparedness
this paper has no means of knowing,
but in Kansas the sentiment so far as
it has been expressed by organized
bodies of citizens is all against Prus-
sianizing America. Here is list Of
the organizations that have formally
gone on record in Kansas against ex-
tensive war preparations at this time:
The Kansas State Teacher Associ-
alton, in a convention of 5000
The Kansas State Grange, with a.
600 members.
The Kansas State Farmers union,
with 10000 members
The Kansas State Federation OF La
Dor, with 10000 members.
The Kansas State Mutual Insurance
association, with 10000 members.
The Kansas Association Of Machin-
lists, with 1900 members.
The Kansas State Socialist society,
with $4,000 members.
More than 100 churches, $50 fra
ternal organizations and 40 women S
clubs.
In addition to these scarcely day
goes by that some ministerial alliance
or other association of small mem
bership but large influence does not
protest against the administration
program for spending the people s
money for soldiers, shells and ships
The people of Kansas are practically
unanimous on this subject and expect
their senators and congressman to
vote right.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Daily History Class-ApriI 26.

lIST--Johann Ludwig INLAND, German
poet, born; died 1862.
1s65-General Joseph f. Johnston sur
rendered 70 General W. T. Sher-
man his army OF $1,000 John
Wilkes Booth, assassin Of Lincoln
killed.
1915-French steamer Leon Gam0et'a
torpedoed by an Austrian Subma
rine III the strait OF 0trsnto: 5oV
lives lost The German raiding
cruiser Kronprinz Wilhelm was ine
termed by the United States untb
the end Of the war at Newport
News. Va
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
SINGER OF HOPE GONE.

Walter Malone died the other day.
Senator John ]. Ingalls, wrote a
poem on Opportunity" with which
the name Of Ingalls, will be linked
when much that the Kansas senator
spoke and wrote is forgotten. Its key
note was one of cynicism-that oppor-
tunity once unrecognized does not re-
turn again. Not SO believed Malone,
himself a professional man, barris-
ter and Judge in Tennessee. Where
fore he wrote:
They do me wrong who say l come no
more
When once I knock and fail to find
you in;
For every day l stand outside your
And bid you wake and rise to fight
and win.
Vail not for precious chances passed
away;
Weep not for golden ages on the
wane;
Each night burn the records of the
day,
At sunrise every soul is born again
Dost thou behold thy lost youth all
aghast?
Dost reel from righteous retribu-
tons blow?
Then turn from blotted archives OF
the past,
And find the future pages white as
snow.
Art thou a mourner? Rouse thee from
thy spell;
Art thou a sinner? Sins may be for.
given;
Each morning gives thee wings to flee
from hell,
Each night star to guide thy feet
to heaven!
Laugh like a boy at splendors that
have sped,
To vanished joys be blind and deal
and dumb;
My judgments seal the dead past with
its dead,
But never bind a moment yet II
come.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Human Rights and Wrongs.

Chicago Daily News: There are
certain rights" conventional Or nat
ural, as one may elect, which are fun
damental to progress and human hap
piness. These rights are individual
and bounded only by the rights of
others. No man, said our great eman-
cipator, has the right to govern anoth-
er without the others consent. That is
automatic. Interference by nations at
war with the peaceful pursuits of the
citizens of neutral nations is an at
tempt not only at government but at
disagreement.
America-the spiritual America
stands for freedom It would be untrue
to itself and to its traditions if it &C
guessed in the dictum of Europe that
might makes right. Its basic principle
is that right gives might.
If the United States is forced to
make war for its principles it will do
so in sorrow and tears. But it must
run the risk of being forced into war
when its principles-the principles
that stand for the emancipation Of hH-
manity-are involved. Dollar reasons
are not now to be considered and he
who measures his patriotism by the
dollar standard is already traitor,
not only to America but to the high
ideals of humanity that America
strives to represent.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS,
Can Flesh Be Relied AUayf

Is there any Ill effect to be antici-
pated In taking cabinet baths or Turk
lsh baths three times a week to reduce
flesh?
Answer-That would depend upon
IN" individuals heart But it is a
mighty poor way to reduce. II you
have no other reason for such baths.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1916-04-26
Americans Unite In Toxic.

Tokio.-Prelimnary steps have been
taken for the formation of an associa-
ton of the American residents in To-
kio. The underlying idea is patriotic
one. The organization will hold ain
ners from time to time for the discus
sion of those questions which are In
teresting the people OF the United
States.