Sierra County advocate., 1916-10-27
FINiN,EEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY
80 80 ~~~~~~-~
BALAAM.

ttoos hh ONCE 10 curse the Deople
The Jackass saved them. 'Tis all in
Number Twinty-two. Och, hone 'Tls
different these times. The Jackass
ftnew better till Balaam tanned him.
Lave me ride ye, says Balaam, AN
III make ye the biggest Ass in the
surld.'
Great says the ASS; what dye
feedT
Pork says Balaam.
"'Me savior says the ASS.
$50 Balaam mounts. But soon the
Jack balks.
"'Phwat is itT says Balaam.
Snakes says the Ass; ut looks
Ike the jawbone NV me mother
"'G'wan says Balaam, hittln' the
ASS a clip, "tls me furren' policy
W. says.
"'Phwat's ut forT axes the ASS
"'Ut definds the nashun, says Ba-
aaam.
"'HowT says the ASS.
Faith says Balaam, ut takes a
bigger ASS than you to know that.
law ~ W 6Aly - ApaluNh w AhS
ASS; an the Jack walks on medita-
tin'.
"Hee, haw. says the ASS, balkin'
an' kiclsin'.
"'What nowT says Balaam.
"'Divil Jackass ever seen the like
says the Ass. ut could be Il frog
says he, for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind; an It's mostly
mouth says the ASS. ut has white
Feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says. to
Very Crooz Red, or Niagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.
says he. fHlvins, have | been drink
lin7' screams the ASS to Balaam.
"'Saints be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waitin' can still change
its mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, In the
service NV Mankind says Balaam to
the Ass, touching him up. An the
ASS shuflies ahead, wavin' his ears In
admiration.
"'Hee-hawi Hee-hawr says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
"'Phwats grippln' ye howp says
Balaam, impashunt like.
i dunno, says the Ass. ut looks
Pike the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
elallst Crew., he says.
"''Tis me Ship Bill, says Balaam.
Side step TO the right he says;
side step TO the left, says he, well
tin him. Back up says Balaam,
near wrenchin off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
IEine an fifty millyun pork, says Ba-
fiaam wild shower NV blows; an the
Ass goes on thremblln'.
"'Wah-heel Wah-heel Wah-hee 7
says the Jack, shyin' so he near
threw his rider.
"Tll learn ye TO shy Mt me Naval
Bill says Balaam. lar-rupln' the
Ibaste so he cud scarce stand
aye can't pass ut widout wearin
Republican clothes, says the Jack In
a coarse whisper.
aye ASS says Balaam. Don't We
know that amy cloes Is betther nor
nakedness? G'wan says Balaam, In
tones Nv thunder. SO the poor baste
iopes on, limpn' wild pain.
"Ive not time to tell ye all the ad-
ventures they had, but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros
sin ditch on a wan term plank, 4
gbich matte even Balaam unaisy. I
lyiry time the Jack kicked, he got (
abort rations an wallop. So when I
the journey was near over the poor (
haste was all in, and far too proud to
ldght Any Jack-Ass can be that
when he's licked.
'Wan stormy night, the Jack blooms
llnto a harmony like Dimycrat Tariff /
Hymn played on a gaspipe wild the
feet.
"'Phwat ails We nowT calls Balaam.
iclubbin' him wild both hands.
"'Nivver did I pass the like yells I
the ASS. sweating and thremblin'. ut /
says ut's an eight hour law. Oh, phwat
is utr screams the ASS to Balaam,
Ieebly Vaughn his ears.
"T dinno phwat ut is meself, says
Balaam. but know phwat uts got
Balaam says.
"'PhwatY axes the poor ASS.
"'Flve hundther thousand votes
says Balaam, wild pious air. 'G'wan,
ye big ASS, an doant We argue wild
an Ldaylist,' says Balaam TO the Ass.
1--WE can't pass ut in the dark
pleads the ASS. Lave us wait for
light means the ASS, weepln'.
mix, says Balaam. There's a hot
tims comm an the votes1l spile
DO ye thurst for sixteen more years
in the wilderness? Giddap,' says he,
'purgin' Yer heart says Balaam. fv
ivlry thought that's selfish says Ba-
luani, 'or personal chants BaIaam to
The poor ASS ticklin' the Jacks Stats
mid a aornliu, min