davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

world right now and see the feminine
garb she would wonder why she ever
imagined that modesty compelled her
TO wear fix leaves.
No matter how wealthy a man may
be, and no matter how honest he may
be, he simply can't help stealing a
cake Of soap when he is stopping at a
hotel.
1t is a good thing that some families
do not have cyclometcrs attached 10
their monographs. They would have
to replace a WORKOUT cyclome,cr once
a week.
A woman may put everything she
has on her back. But she puts mighty
little on her chest.
Another safe bet is that the man who
is laughing loudeSt isn't enjoying him
self most.
The easiest way to find a man out
+, to get a job as a collector and call
on him with a bill.
Leave il TO a married man and you
will discover that the only things a
woman wants are the things She knows
she can't get.
1, often happens that you don't know
a man is loaded until he begins to
shoot off his mouth,
A married man can go around brag-
cling about his political atiiliation. But
friend wife is the party he belongs to.
After the first time her husband
tries to stop her from having it, a
married woman always has her own
way.
We don't know much. But We do
know that We wouldn't try to build a
5000 house until we had at least
5000 saved up.
A whole lot of the men who used
to have money to burn are now sitting
tho ashes,
Married life is a round OF fuss and
feathers, The husband gets the fus,
and the wife gets the feathers.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
KEEPING YOUR HEAD.

a O swung his whip lash against the horse he was
~ driving. The lash was a slender affair and tn
horse, frightened but practically %unhurt, plunged torwar !
The youthful driver was ,nccuscd because. the horse did
No, anticipate the every wish Of the driver The horse was
in rather full possession OF his faculties, but the boy had
lost his head
This was no case for the humane officer; the horse SUI.
iered no abuse worth mentioning. 1t was a case Tor an in
structor who might teach the boy to not lose his head,
How many men lose control OF themselves at trivial
occurrence Look closely around observe the men whC
always arc calm and COOL who possess poiSe through try
ing times a, we'll a. when experiencing the petty annoy
anccs which upset many who cannot hold their balance.
Then think of kiplngs lines.
az You can keep your head when all about YOU
Are losing theirs, and blaming 1t ON You,
Yours is the earth and everything that's IN IT,
And. what j, more, you'll bee a man, my son"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
MeR REPUBLICAN,
6dted ByNeRepubhcQnS3o feC Committee
HOW ABOUT 1T, MR.. HOWARD

@ TATE AUDITOR HOWARD, who is rcpwcd to be "a friend for figures"
- Is credited with the >tateycnt that the state Inherited from the old re
publican territorial regime al indebtedness OF 81 H4SNS'
Far be it from lis to question that the accounts OF the present state auditors
nay show exactly whatever the present incumbent and the present aduinrra-
ton contend the condition OF the state finance, to he Unfortunately however,
a, lar as the indebtedness, Inherited from the old territorial regime is con
ccncd MIR lowardS figures are in contradiction not only with the records of
the United States government but also cannot be made TO jhc with the record,
OF the state trca,urerS office.
A bulletin OF the United States department OF commerce bureau of census
issued in April l9l4 gives the debt Of The territory of Oklahoma At the change
OF statehood as $4,000 The state trcaSurcrS records give the figures more
exact as $T4Wl9l
The state treasurer, office also records that James A. Mcnchc. the first
state treasurer, receptcl for SlHl5 800 IS IN cash, turned over to him by The
lid territorial republican regime" This leaves an actual cash surplus ot
SD72&4l We do not aspire to be "iiendS for figures" but we submit these
figures to he public with confidence. because they are the facts
Instead q. the state nhcring over a million dollars Indebtedness from the
territorial government the real fact is that the state inherited from the "od
territorial republican regime a cash surplus OF $S7N2N
How about it, Mr. lIowarl2
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Some Laughs

A Young Italian who hasn't been long
in this country wants something severe
done to people who don't do as they ad-
v%crtisc to do. He says he saw a sign
IN a street car
Buy 0'Flannagan's rubber heels %
cents attached
SO he went and bought a pair, but
there was no half dollar attached, and
he believes he has been Swlndled.
A native OF Georgia, Of the sort
usually called Crackers was sui.
icring from lnilamed eyes. He con-
suited a horse doctor for treatment.
The veterinarian gave him some OF
the salyc that he used N animals. The
man lost his cyesight. He then brought
suit in court to recover damages.
The Judge, after weighing the evil
dcncc in the case said
There are no damages to be re-
covered The man would never have
gone TO A veterinarian II he had not
been an ass
They were discussing love and the
extraordinary things which that power
ful emotion oompclS sensible pcoplc TO
do, Mr.. SimpkinS was mentioned as
an instance.
AN extreme case, his u.s." said Rob
bins. "He'is so much in love that he
has become a postman so he can get
thu girls letters an hour or two earlier"
at is no use trying TO get away from
the solemn fact that the woman OF to-
day is a most practical and resourceful
creature said the man who has known
a few.
what makes you think 500" a friend
asked.
The unsentimental attitude of a girl
| know. | told her that she had in
spired some Of my best poems. She
didn't say a word about the poems,
but she wrote to my publishers for a
percentage OF the royalties"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

BpNditM 0SOn
TO THE CROSSROADS.

n OOD-RN, old town, I'm going
home, to Shuck the corn and pillow
the loan, to prunc the tree and
train the vine, and iced with SwiIl the
shricking swine. was not built for
urban lie, Tor city tricks and city
strife, and cvcdy time | walk the stree,
I'm cuchred by some smiling beat, who
sees in me an easy hick, and sells me
a gold-platcd brick I'm always buy
ing costly shares in ginseng plants and
Belgian harcs, I'm silver mine, ard
orange groves, and mill, that turn out
wooden Glove, The smiling takers OF
the town. ! SIMPLY canuo' turn them
down. They charm me with their sun
my smiles, thcp iaScinate me with their
WilcS, and sell me, from their cata
lugucS, tin motor cars and hairless
dogs, ard remedies that grow new hair
on domcS OF thought that long were
bare. and Autographs OF Statesman
Hughes, and ships and sealing wax
and shoes. Tomorrow, il YOU look for
me, my form in town you will not see.
though you may rake it with a comb
good-by, old town l'm roing home
as there anything left OF that pie we
had for dinner last night asked the
man OF the house
why, no, dear. OF course there
isn't" said his wife. you ate three
big pieces OF it. Yourself"
Amt that Just like a woman
Whenever YOU have anything | like
there's never any left the next day
hut when YOU have something that no.
body will eat there is always twice as
much has anybody wants"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
"SIXTEEN-CENT COTTON.

DLANTERS OF Oklahoma dreamed OF lS-ccnt cotton. \
4 glance at the New York and New Orleans market
quotations brings before the eye the pleasing figures led
by IS cents and 10 cents, with occasional fractions thrown
in.
SO, with lS-ocnt cotton facing the planters and with a
chance that 10 cents may be the price, planters have at
tanned a price for which they have commended and long
hoped 1t may be expected that they will cast longing eyes
across their broad acres and estimate how much additional!
cotton they way raise at the lWcy price now in effect.
Ii the cotton pla~fr' oc33SIahoma and other cotton
states arc as wise as they were last year in looking Tor
ward, they will not lose their heads and cause a stampede
to double the cotton acreage.
The Oklahoma farmer who has raised cotton as his
principal crop has not, as a rule, been successful The
farmer who has raised a diversity of crops, with cotton
as a side line or cash crop, has made much progress.
II, the farmer who has in mind that he will incr Ease
hi, cotton acreage next year will study the question
thoroughly. he will be able to make the deduction which
viii save him considerable money. More cotton acreage
will dcpres, the price. The same, or less cotton acreage
than this year will stabilize the price OF toton.
The cotton planter has conquered the p%crplcxi,res which
vcNcd him. II he will ever keep that in mind, decrease
his cotton acreage a little and raise more livestock, hi,
road to riches and contcntmcnt will be easy
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Thanks, Thank

Wilmington Journal Republican.
Some people take life seriously and
some don't care a whoop what happens,
but what we started out to do was to
notify Luke Mcluke that O Shaw
lives on a rural route out of HillSboro.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

A woman may not know a thing
about mathematics. But YOU can bet
that she knows how to make her own
figure count
Maybe IL Eve were to return to the
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
MeIcYl

Some folks like to have children
come along, and they spend whole
weeks selecting pretty names Tor their
offspring, while others get sore at tho
Stork But what we started to say was
that Damn Wardrip lives at Louis
Vile, Ky That's his real name, too,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

There are many exciting races at the State Fair. But
the hottest one is that between the official announcer on
the one side and the vendors Of peanuts and pop on the
other. The announcer makes desperate efforts to make
himself heard, but he finds it a physical lmpossibility to
compete successfully against the army OF popcorn peddlcrs.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
How About II?

II there arc no objections, A. Biz
7ard Of Dillon, s. C., will JOIN the
clubs weather bureau in December.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

Bride & Groom. tho %Shclbyyillc
GndD druggists, will supply the club
with Qulninc this winter.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Is That Sol

Fierce winter winds soon hard will blow,
And water turn to ice,
But what's the use 20 worry so7
The views may vet be nice.
When Luke can see a two-leg show.
or see the same leg twice S. III. u,
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
The Sympathetic Editor.

Miss Ethel Bridges was quite lone
some Sunday Cheer up, Ethel Every
dog has his day-Cleyeland County,
lArk) Herald.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Huh!

Il rejoice that the world IS filled
with sunshine" said the Fat Man
All" responded the Thin Man, then
you are an optimiSt,"
"No, not; exactly replied the Fat
Man. Il am an awning manufacturer.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Advice.

Though strenuous the race for pclt,
BE square with all your brothers
For. while a man may fool himself,
It's blamed hard TO fool others.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Well, Well

We have just learned that Judge
Bratt is in charge OF the juvenile court
in Bergen county, n. J.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Ouchl

It Keeps me cusslng long and OF,
Whom shoes ! have TO wear,
For. though I know my corn Is soft.
It's hard enough to bear
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Aw. GwaN

Dear Luke If any OF the Corn
Fed, would like to { A. Buob we will
notify him He lives IN Cincinnati,
H. s.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
The Wise Fool,

Life IS short" observed ;hc Sage
YES" agreed the Fool And You'll
ind II shorter before long"
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

IT'S uurrfined,
And yet I v"arn
To hear the HiCk
who saws. II hearn. Mad Glib.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Correct.

What is Your definition OF a gentle
man 20 asked the Old lpgy
"a gentleman reg III the Crouch,
us a man who nevi Eets his hair cut
ON Saturday night
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

The official announcer at the State Fair might start a
school 'of instruction. for the boys who sell popcorn and
such things They have much to learn in silent salesman
ship.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

LINES WORTH REMEMBERING.
Strong characters are brought out by
change of situation, and gentle ones by per-
Observation-Disclosures
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
OLDSToRIHS
In NEWTYpE
Twenty Years ago
-t0m ne TINES FlLEN

Twenty Years Ago.
Professor Boyd OF Norman was in the
city today.
Dame Rumor says that one OF the
city, handSomcst and mos, popular
Young men will marry before the holi.
days. The good dame further says t''lt
ne is an %cnployc OF one OF the city'S
banks.
Mrs Bo,worth who has been visiting
her sister. Mrs. Nclwyu Douglas. re-
turned IT, her home IN Iowa today
Judge Beatty returned from the In
dian county, today laden with game.
Fifteen Years Ago.
\ |. Welsh and wife will return to-
night from thcr trio to Kentucky, Ohio,
New York and other points.
DR.. Baird arrived here this morning
from Red Fork where he is interested
in oil properties,
A. ! Mayiicld N d is in the city
for a few days visiting DR. Dicken
a. O.
w I"''eN 'nu W'le o' HStPrrf'
N',, '' N'>'''"S INC ''"'S VI w. w.
'''"''
n number OF ladies' met at the homc
of Mrs 7. NJ. Richardson today to or
R','|r INC - 'c'lHd NIoIal I'up IW'
following officers were elected PrcS'-
Iput NJ. aa Van Wt,lI, virp prcs-
dent. Mrs VIII York, secretary and
treasurer, Mrs Floyd Lamb Professor
MARQUIS Wa~ chosen musical director.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

Copyright, 1916. by y. c.. Fisher. Trade
Mark Registered v, s.. Patent ouleel
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Luke McLnke Saws.

Know all YOU tell, but don't tell all
YOU know.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

His COLUMN
Copyri6ht19I6
Fooeyl

Fooeyl
The biggest fool In all this land
Is Alexander Dunes
lie lives ia boarding houses, and
Hes always full Of pruncs
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28
Things to Worry About
Our Daily Special.

Cold does not stiffen castor oil
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

A. Mayficld NJ d is in the city
for a few days visiting DR.. Dicken.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

DR. Baird arrived here this morning
from Red Fork where he is interested
in oil properties.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

W S. Torrcy and wife Of Harper,
Kan. are visiting the family of G, Is.
STONE. o.
The Oklahoma City times. [volume] (Oklahoma City, Okla.) 1908-1984, 1916-09-28

llNctH iVdlN NV
\ l.. Welsh and wife will return to-
might from Their trio to Kentucky Ohio,
New York and other points.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19
GRANT WIDOWS PENSIONS
FOR 8 IN MONMOUTH

Special 20 the EVENING NEWS
Freehold. Dec. 19-Petitioners for
widows pensions and rehearings in
these cases were held before Judge
Ruff V. Lawrence here yesterday,
three pensions being granted, three
revoked, four petitions dismis ed. two
withdrawn and decision was reserved
until Saturday in ten instances.
Alice Duncan, widow of John r.
Duncan, of Shrewsbury, was granted
$50 per month; Flora B.. widow of
William II. Emmons, of Marlboro, SIS
per month. and Maria Bambrick,
widow of John Bambrick, of Keyport,
was allowed $14 per month.
The petitions dismissed were those
of Gertrude NJ, widow IF William Z.
Tribe, of Long Branch: Marg's T.,
widow of William G. Brown. of Red
Bank; Eta Morton, of Wall township.
widow of Haviland Morton and Lydia
Ann Brown, colored. widow of Will
liam Henry Brown, of Bermar.
Those whose pensi1rs were revol<-
ell were: Lillian c. Morton, of villa,
Park, widow successfully of A.ber. s.
Osborn and Ambram M. Morton:
Mary E., widow of Michael Egan. of
and Winnie Jones, colored.
of Middletown township.
Gertrude T. Cal man. widow Of Rev.
roseph P. Carman, os Rcd Bank. and
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19
LOCAL AND COUNTY SEAT
COMMITTEES ARE NAMED

At a conference of President o. w.
Ramsay OF the Board of Trade ana
Robert Carson, president of the New
Brunswick Board of Trade. this morn
ing, a joint committee of Perth AM
boy and New Brunswick men was
named to devise ways and means for
raising money for the county's snare
of the expense incurred by the. light-
! erage hearing and argument, which IL
is considered, involves this county
interests considerably. The joint COM
mittee will hold meeting and lunch
con in this city in the near future, at
which speakers will present arguments
in favor of the proposition and will
discuss the function for which the
committee was appointed. means for
raising money to carry on the fight
The committee from this city Is X.
l.. Fowler, general manager of the
Barber Asphalt Company, chairman:
Jean Du Bois, factory manager of the
Roessler & Hasslacher Company. c.
d. Boynton, president of the Boynton
Bros & Company, John Pfeiffer,
superintendent of tho Maurer Brick
Works. and Edward Fraser, president
of Fraser Brothers.
The New Brunswick naommittce will
consist of Charles McCormicle.
chairman. H J. p. P. Dar-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19
FORMER SAYREVILLE CHILDREN
DIE OF POISON IN NEWARK

Special to the EVENING NEWS.
Sayreville, Dec. 19:-A gloom was
cast over Sayreville today when it be-
came known that two of the children
of Mr.. and Mrs. John Karnasel, who
lived here until recently, were fatally
poisoned with Illuminating gas in
their new home in Newark this
morning. Anthony Karnasel. six years
old, died on the way to a hospital
Catherine, his sister. fourteen years
old, is near death.
The family had recently moved in
to newly improved house in New
ak. Anthony and Catherine were
put to bed in a newly painted room
last night and a gas light was lef,
burning for them. 1t appears that
the jet leaked. The children were
unconscious when found this morn
ing.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19

Circulation. 9.174; last year. 1850:
AHA increase.
Largest daily circulation, 4S6; last
year, 1876: SO increase.
Smallest circulation, 167; last year,
POT; 40 decrease.
Adult circulation. 1850: last year.
4,007; 573 increase.
Adult circulation, fiction, 3,2S2;
last year, 1855: 296 increase.
Adult circulation, non fiction, 958;
last year. $50; 102 increase
Adult circulation, foreign, 210;
last year, 165; As increase.
Juvenile circulation, 1901; last
year, 3,453; 1,14S increase.
Juvenile circulation, fiction, 2,567:
last year, 2,071: 496 increase.
Juvenile circulation, non fiction
2,034: last year. 1.773: 261 increase.
Number of pictures circulated, 1856.
Branch
Number of days open, 13: total
circulation, 1874; largest daily circu-
lation, ST; smallest daily circulation
40 (day of openings: adult circula
ton. 623; adult fiction, 1877; adul
non fiction, 374; adult foreign. 72
Juvenile circulation, ISL: Juvenile
circulation, fiction. 329; juvenile non
fiction, 422.
Total circulation for November
10.748.
Number of volumes added, 225, b,
purchase, 113: by gift. 12: mended ir
library. IA; discarded (worn out). 33
lost and paid for, 1; total number
volumes discarded, "a.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19
RECORD BROKEN
FOR CIRCULATION
Library Put Out 10,748 Books
During Month of November
Appreciation for Mayor
and President.

The largest circulation of books In
the history of the public library was
reported by the librarian, Miss Anne
Q. Shivers, at the meeting of the
library trustees last night The to
reached 10,748. This is not far from
the total number of volumes in the
library, which is $4,000. OF these
1918 books in circulation during
November, 9,174 were taken out at
the main library, showing an in
crease of 2,714 over the November
circulation of last year, and 1,574
were borrowed at the branch recently
established in Hall avenue. The Ii
brary trustees expressed much graft
hcation at the increasing popularity
or the library, and were greatly
pleased with the success of the Hall
avenue branch.
Mayor Garretson, who has been
one of the most faithful members of
the board of trustees, sat with the
trustees for the last. time as mayor
last. night. His antiring efforts in
behalf of the library were commented
upon by all the members, and action
was taken to send to the mayor and
have placed upon the minutes Of the
board, note of appreciation.
1t was Mayor Garretson who start
ed the movement for enlarging the
library building, and through his ef-
forts the increased appropriation was
secured from the Carnegie Founda-
ton. for the addition that was built
last year.
The term of the president Of the
board, Frank l.. Antisell, also ex-
pires this year and his colleagues, in
praising his work during the past five
years, expressed the hope that the
pleasant associations would not be
broken.
A request from the janitor asking
for an increase in salary due to the
increased cost of living, was favora-
bly, acted upon. He will hereafter
receive SIS a month instead of $40.
At the same time the salary of the
librarian was increased $40 a month.
The maximum of 500 month for
librarian has been the same for the
last eight or ten years. Owing to
e~increased size and growth of the
library 1t was felt that an increased
salary was warranted. All of t
sistants receive an increase automa-
tically in October, none of them hav-
ing served long enough to reach the
maximum
A final payment to Jensen &
Brooks, architects, amounting to
1912. was authorized.
The librarians report for Novem-
ber was as follows:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19
SEVERAL CRIMINAL CASES
FINISHED BEFORE DAILY

Special to the EVENING NEWS.
New Brunswick, Dec. 19-Severai
cases were finished up yesterday in
the Common Pleas Court by Judge
DAILY. Droma Leontargi and Peter
Catzephone, accused of assault and
battery on Samuel Pasiches were ac-
quilted by a jury.
Benny Bart accused of the larceny
of an overcoat valued at SIS, was
acquitted of the charge by jury
yesterday afternoon. Raymond Lyons,
recently admitted to the bar in this
city, was assigned to defend Bart. and
secured an acquittal in his first case
before the court.
Marx Bohamya accused of assault
and battery on Paul SchonsAi of this
city, was held for the grand jury
yesterday.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1916-12-19
PERCY G. PALMER HEADS
LOCAL K. 0P P. LODGE

Percy G. Palmer. vice chancellor of
Algonquin Lodge, No. A. Knights of
Pythias, was elected chancellor com
mander at the annual election held
last night. Mr.. Palmer will succeed
William c. Martyr. Final arrange
ments were made for the Christmas
entertainment that is to be held at Y.
NJ. H. A. hall, Friday night. There will
be dancing and Refreshments will be
served.
The new officers follow: Chancel-
lor Commander, Percy G. Palmer:
vice chancellor, NJ. Richardson: pre-
late, William II. Tice; master OF work,
William c. Martyn; master of finance,
Joseph Crowell master of exchequer.
A F. Munoz; keeper of records and
seal, ]. Leslie Crowell; inner guard.
Louis Walters and outer guard. B.
Sterns. Representative to the grand
lodge, William H. Cortelyou and al
ternate representative, William c.
Martyr: representative to the Amer
ican Funeral Benefit Association con-
vention at Baltimore. Joseph Quick
and alternate representative, William
c. Cortelyou.