The sun., 1916-10-16
CYNICAL EPH SMALL.
He Brutally Assalls the Governmental
Doctrine OF Service to Humanity.

met Eph Small in front of the Capitol
at the unveiling of Sheridln's statue.
"He was "A fust class fightin' man."
said Eph. gazing in admiration at the
heroic figure of the mounted warrior.
He was "A mar Of vision | replied.
who had a passion for American ideals
and dedicated himself to a mission of
disinterested service"
Fer the love of Nike" growled Eph
oontemptuously, when did you fall fer
that lingo
What lingo?' asked. somewhat an
noyed.
why. that lingo about passion an
mission an disint'rested sarvice,' he
replied In n ~falsetto drawl. rolling his
eyes In affected piety. How long is
this ere thing a-goln' to cont!nye?'
he queried. Amt we never goin' to
quit talkln' like sanct.monious Willie.
boys an git back to the understand
abe speech o. common menu
THE trouble with you. Eph," I
swered. rs that you're behind the
, times. You've overlooked the fact
that a conception Of duty. as exempli-
fed in dislnterested service, Is now
playing n prominent part In the az
fairs OF men and nations"
Overlooked IT," he exclaimed. They
amt none TO overlook. | amt seen no
disint'rested sarvicc. ner you neither.
But ! amt overlooked the talk about
II. Ye can't overlook that any more'n
yc kin overlook n plague o. cutworms
in n cabbage patch. We hear 1t morn
in. noon an night, from the highest
in the land down TO the scurviest
houn' diwg yelpiu' fer pap. II gives
me a pain in the pit o. my stummick.
this tall Of sarvin' m1nkind."'
Don't you believe that men render
d!sinterestcd service" I asked.
sure | do-somotImes," said Eph:
but mostly when IL don't interfere
non with their own pus'nul welfare.
Dinist'rested sarvicc Is all rigit now
an then. What | object TO Is this
everlastln' zap about II as IL 1t was
the first rule OF a mans conduct. Dye
think human natoor's changed tee
totally sence Wilson was elected Presi-
dent? Dye think man has changed
overnight from the selfish animile he's
allus ben into a self-saorificin'. hymn
s!ngin' martyr? Not on yer life. he
amt. an nohuddy in a normal state
o. mind believes il. neither.
"A man may he put in a high sta
ton he continued rotiectively. AN
the glamour of his Office becloud his
jedsIncnt an make him think he's a
sort o. lily white savior OF the race
when he amt nu'hin' hut the frdil
representative OF sev'rul million COM
mon. ordinary people whose main OH
jcct in lie is 10 look out fer their own
interests an the devil take the hind
most"
"You don't believe. then" said.
that We should subordinate our own
selfish interests 10 the common good:
that We should love our ne!ghbors as
ourselvos?''
as an axiom OF rclecc.on. yes nc
replied: blu as an aNiom Of COVER
munt, not In a thousand years. This
present Administration van elected
to preach relocsion. II vas elected To
look artcr the material welfare OF the
people ~ this country. The President
ought to 'hc a fuil sized man who prs,.
fers the United States To- any other
nation on airth. an stand up fer its
rights through thick an thin an give
II the benefit ~ ev'ry doubt. fust.
last an all the time.
"Govcr'munt an rclecrion don't mix
now any moron they did " thousand
years wAnn them as inquired
about II vas told to render unto
Cesar the things which are CJsar's.'
Human natuor's jest the same now as
II was then. only "A lcct'c more So
81 suppose this country wou'd be TT
upr NON - x,r, .Att1l h.,. .,,,r
way" | remarked.
Not by no means" said Eph. "Yc
might Jest as w,ll ask mo II Ia XIII a
stranger I found curryin' away pun
k.ns from NY garden. hspe | wouldn't
have 10 XII! him t. make him onder-
stand n" was trespassin' on my rights
and had to quit. Df curse IL | was
Altered to assert my rights I'd prob
ally lose my punklns.
What would you do in such a CASE"
he asked. becoming qucstioner in turn.
Il s'puse ye'd offer tn arh.trItc, or
mehhc yo'd feel yc were rendor!n' a
d.s!Ht'rested sarVice in .ctt!n' the russ
git away with your property, or p'r'aps
yc'd lot the TRANCE strip yer gar
den clean 50 yc could say To yer wife
long about harv"stin' time. Wall.
MANDY, they ain't nuthiH' left in the
garden, but we've got along all sum-
mcr witaout no trouble"
You ak fo~plishly, Eph.'' 7 replied;
nothing can be more absurd than a
comparison between tho management
Of a miserable little garden patch and
the solution % the great world prob
lens of the present day"
II, I-.Hs ,I... 81, -, Ii. ..-tI