The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1916-11-15
Don Marquis
Column
Interviews With Imaginary Char
THE CENSOR.

acters.
THE CENSOR.
And the gentleman whose task and
Joy II Il to ferret out the obscene In
works OF art said. In part. as follows:
showed an inclination toward my
Life Work at a very early age.
l could not have been more than
ten years old when reported to my
Teacher at School that Myrtle Snod-
grass. a little girl who sat In the next
| seat to me. had written a naughty
word upon her slate.
How do you know II 10 q naughty
| wordT' asked Teacher.
Because" ! answered. Myrtle Snod-
grass jerked her slate away and would
| not let me read It,"
Then you did not see lit"
mo. ma'am." 1 have always been
| truthful.
Perhaps" said Teacher. ut was not
| q word at all. You have accused
Myrtle Of something that you cannot Sss6
| naughty, Harold! You have no right
to look at Myrtle's slate II she does
not wish you to. And you have re-
ported something you do not know to
| be true"
| have always been prosecuted In
my efforts to safeguard the public
| morals.
Teacher" / said. ~ It wasn't a
naughty word. then 1t must have been
| naughty picture"
why do you say that Harold7"
Teacher. she had been showing her
| slate to Willie Simms and they had
been laughing over II. And when I
tried to see. too. she jerked It away"
My Greatness Showing.
| I still think my logic was unassail-
able. child though was. still be-
lieve that my deductions were quite
justified by the circumstances. For in
the years since then have had II borne
In upon me, on many. many occasions.
that words: phrases. illusions. which /
| cannot readily understand or which are
deliberately hidden from me. are usual
ly capable OF some construction not al
together proper. 1t Is always safe to
infer when people refuse to explain to
one that their real and secret meanings
will not bear explanation.
| l told my father. who was a member
OF the school board. that the teacher
had scolded me for reporting some
! did not like to go into details, and he
took the matter up officially
Perhaps, even then the teacher would
not have lost her position. but / was
which (my instinct told me even at that
early age) tended to prove that this
teacher was no fit person to form the
minds of Ingenious little children. Ar
irving at the schoolhouse earlier than
any OF the other pupils one morning.
and earlier than the teacher herself, 1
found her desk unlocked. 1t was usual :
locked@a Suspicious thing in itself. I
ransacked II, In the interests OF the pub.
lie welfare and, ! may add. my
father had suggested something of the
1 found two damning photographs.
Abomihable pictures! One was the pic
ture OF teacher herself. surrounded by
several other young women, all In the
abbreviated eGstpm ce,, Of the basketball
not have been so bad In itself
though It is a sort OF thing I do not
approve but near by was the
nude. He had on the eSstume q pfr a col.
''Tfh The Teacher latertoid the school Doard
that It was n picture of her brother.
But, as my father pointed out. 4: might
just as readily have been the photograph
OF some one to whom she was not re-
lated. And the relationship itself, my
father Justly said. counted for little
against the impropriety OF leaving such
into the hands OF little children such
as his little son.
| The Foolish Majority.
Eeven then the majority OF the school
board were unwilling to dismiss Teacher
on an out and out charge of Improper
conduct; but my father and some of his
right thinking friends were strong
enough in the community to get rid OF
her on another charge. 1t was generally
understood, however. that her services
were really dispensed with becaase OF
some unnamed immortality .. my
father and his friends were too Just and
too merciful to relate the details pub.
iicly. am proud and happy to testify
that, because of the cloud under Which
she left our godly little city. this per.
verter OF the morals OF childhood was
never afterward able to obtain a posi-.
tiop as a teacher. There was nothinl
definite ever published against heI
!. but people generally seemed Il
feel. even as I. child that l was. haC
felt. that there must be somethinl
wrong somewhere -. something
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