davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
Farmers Urged TO Attend Bank Meetings

Farmers Urged to Attend Bank Meetings
The federal farm loan board will meet in Birmingham Sat
urday Although the board will also visit Montgomery it has
been announced that the claims Of Alabama will be heard dur
ing the sessions Birmingham Farmers from all parts of the
state urged with the board whose members would
much prefer to have the views of practical ers OF the SOIL
this matter which the farmers first and the
bankers afrward The sole purpose of the farm loan banks
will be service to farmers No stock obbing quick
schemes will be tolerated by the government
Chairman Oscar Wells of the local committee has urgently
requested the farmers Of Alabama many Of them
slbe TO be in Birmingham Saturday 1t will be to the mutual
advantage of the states agricultural interests and the farm
loan board which DESTROYS of getting at the facts promptly
and getting them directly from the people whom the federal
banks will most benefit
Tie local committee headed by Mr. Wells has done great
work for this city The board will be given convincing proof
of Birmng fitness and desraby location for one
of the banks Mr. Wells whose public spirit and energy seem
equal task matter how exactng has devoted his
time and efforts getting up data about Birmingham He and
his fellow workers feel confident that this city stands
cellent chance to win the prize.
1t is to hoped that large number Of farmers will accept
the invitation of the board and Chairman Wells Not
only will they able give the board needed information but
they will profit by understanding fully the plan and
scope of the farm loan banks
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
BOMBASTES FURIOSO

parts-of-speech in patience. Then the
Hyphenates among US began to show
their teeth. They claimed to hold the
balance of voting power and said If we
winked an eye cross-wise at the Vat
erland they would straightway send
us to kingdom-kum. They actually
Threatened us with civil war. That
was too much. Immediately the Courier
Journal put on its war paint, hoist
above it the stars and stripes, and
marched on Washington.
Woodrow" says the Courier-Jour-
nal, get move on you. Up with the
bunting. Out with the army!" And says
the President sadly: "Army?-there is
no army. Sixteen years OF republican
misrule-eight under Roosevelt and
four under Taft-have abolished the
army. 1 have not soldiers enough to
mount guard on the Rio Grande."
So, the Courier-Journal had to tuck
tail, come back home and cool alike
it's broth and it's wrath.
Next arrive the Lusitania horror.
Now, says the CONFECTIONERY,
there's going to be trouble sure
enough" At once we sent Woodrow
Wilson this telegram: Call out the
fleet. Assemble the ships. Send squad
ron-two squadrous-to the North sea.
On to Berlin and Panama-any old sea-
port. Hang Bernstorff on a sour apple
tree" And, with tears in his eyes, the
President replied: There is no fleet
no squadron. There are no ships Six
teen years of republican misruie-
eight of them under Roosevelt and
four under Taft-have annihilated the
navy l will do my best. But, until we
can provide the country an army and
a navy, it is worse than idle to talk
about war;
Well-there, men and bretheren, you
are--and what more could the Cou-
lrier-Journal do?
All this while Theodore Roosevelt
was either SILENT or mounting. He is
only mounting now. 1t Is SO easy to
mouth, to fustianize; to amble down to
the footlights; to fire the boss pistols;
to roar with the valiant in the play
"He that doth these boots displace
Shall meet Bombastes face to face"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
From Youths Companion.

From Youths Companion.
6NHERE is striking illustration in
Das Buch fur Allie Of the fact that
1t Is not necessary to roam over
the world to find adventure. The German
merchant of the story found it in his own
peaceful house, in the quiet town OF
his birth. 1t happened on his daughters
wedding day, about 60 years ago. The
happy father was alternately welcoming
the guests and busting about attending
to Anal details
In one of the halls he met a maid
carelessly carrying lighted candle with
out its holder. He did not rebuke her,
as she was not one of the regular SER
wants, but had only been brought in to
help for the occasion. In a short time she
returned from the cellar, her arms full
of bottles, but with no candle. The abb
sence of the light sent sickening thought
sweeping over the merchant. Only the
day before several barrels of black pow
der had been stored In the cellar, and
one of them had been opened In order
to get sample for customer.
Where Is that candle?" he asked her
quickly, with his heart in his mouth.
II had my hands full and couldn't
bring it up" the maid answered.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
luxe M,LuKE SAYS

When girl has a fine head of hair it
is hard work for her to keep from wear
ing it In plat when she is 20 years old.
The man who whines that he Is being
driven to drink in the same fellow who
would want to fight if you tried to crowd
him away from his place in front of the
bar
man has invented a pocket wirelesa
system by means of which he can be
reached at a distance of 30 miles Here's
where we see q lot of hen-pecked hus-
bands being equipped with the system by
their wives.
Don't try to make e married man feel
at home when you are his host He'll
probably have better time If you can
make him feel that he is not at home.
Another pest the fool killer overlooked
Is the lad who sticks his mouth close to
your face when he talks to you, and who
makes you walk a half block backing
away from him when he Is holding a con-
versation with you.
Every time young married man sits
down to meal that was prepared by his
wife he gets the idea that her cook book
is either filled with typographical errors
or that it was poorly edited.
: The reason why girl hates to wear a
pair of invisible silk stockings on cold
day is because she hasn't any to wear.
The knowledge that some other woman
wants him can keep woman mighty true
to man.
A man doesn't pay much attention 70
an ugly man. But it hurts him to look
at an ugly woman.
What has become of the fashioned
editor who used to refer to the matrons
as 'Mesdames?"
There was a time when girl was sup
posed to be home at bedtime But bed.
time has been moved up considerable
since the movie shows began to remain
open until II p. m.
If you will give a boy the largest slice.
any cake is good cake.
1t is a terrible thing to say, and we'll
put on a catcher's mask long enough to
remark that telephone girls receive more
rings than other girls.
Some of these sociologists seem to ina
CINE that ii you raised every working
girls salary to SO a week you could dc
away with the Ten Commandments.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
HOTEL LOBBIES


81 am glad to note that the commits
sioners are now having an ordinance
framed for the paving of Avenue F from
Eighteenth street to Elmwood cemetery,
said Alex Dearborn, local real estate and
insurance man. This indicates to me
that Birmingham is rapidly forging ahead
instead of going backward. The paw
ing of streets and it's approval by the
majority property holders demonstrates
to me that the people of this city realize
that paving is one of the greatest as
sets any city can have.
Mr.. Truss idea of making an east
and west highway appeals to me partica-
larly. This would give us one Of the
finest boulevards in the south. The
property along this route would be en-
HANGED a great deal and the desirabiity
Of locations on this route would be in
creased vastly"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
BOOKS OF 1915

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The conflict in Europe affects all
lines of human activity. Quite explica-
business. There are scores and hun
dreds of books on the war pouring
from the presses, and aside from thu
real war books there is distinct mar
tial tinge to the general output. Many
of the novels of the fall season-pot-
boilers and others-have war back
ground. The scientific books are mostly
devoted to subjects suggested by the
war. Essayists, philosophers and wits
the problems Of world in struggle.
Poetry has an epic flavor. Even the
children's books reflect the one great
interest and Boy Scout stories are the
vogue.
OF books that frankly discuss the
war the number is legion and the value
is uncertain. The great flood of books
by unwarlike men and women of lit
erary fame who were caught abroad or
went abroad at the beginning of the
war has almost subsidized After q
hike" or two to somewhere near the
front these sudden experts penned
impressions and then turned back to
their usual lines of effort Now there
are appearing books by men who have
gone to observe some special phase,
usually the fighting in the Balkans.
Many of these products are highly in
teresting, for they are ably written,
but they are of doubtful historical
value.
Still more questionable in value are
the critical efforts of the experts who
essay, without access to the authorita-
the war while it is still in progress.
Some of these writer's frankly admit
and explain their unavoidable short
coming; but others speak with an as
sumption of authority and finality
which may be amusing and is seldom
convincing. The writer's are usually
strongly biased, and have no clear idea
of the task Of the historian. There are,
however, not a few college professors
who have assumed an attitude of i'm
Partially and superiority to partisan
limitations, and who have written
mostly on the political aspects Of the
upheaval
On the whole 1t may be said that
the literary output of 1916 is neither
cheerful nor impressive. The compare
lively few bright or scholarly excep-
tons merely emphasize the correctness
Of a broadly adverse judgment
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
DEATH LURlKED i'm CELLAR

Where did you leave it?''
Il stuck it in the black sand in the
open barrel" she explained.
But the merchant had not waited to
hear her out. Into the hall and down
the cellar steps he stumbled. His knees
were shaking. his breath caught In his
throat; death already seemed to have It's
grip upon him.
Just beneath the room in which the
guests were assembled stood the fatal
barrel, the burning tallow candle up
right in the powder. To his horror, he
saw a long piece Of burned-out wick
sagging in the reddish flame. II that
spark should fall! He made a desperate
move toward the candle-and stopped.
The slightest touch or breath might
shake that glowing bit of wick into the
powder. He heard the sound Of laugh
ter from above, and he trembled. He
stared at the light, powerless to move.
Suddenly the end OF the wick moved,
and with its movement the merchant re-
covered from his momentary paralysis.
Cautiously he thrust both hands toward
the candle; then, with sudden squeeze,
he smothered the wick and flame In
his grasp. Never relaxing his hold, he
carried the candle the length Of the eel
lar Then he tainted.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
LANTERN OF oLDEN DAYS

From the Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.
We are indebted to Nose Holder, resid-
ing in the vicinity of Somerset, KY, and
to the Somerset News for bit of In
formation that ought to correct some 10
centuries of misinformation, providing
our Kentucky friends are in the right.
The News says that Nose appeared In
it's office with lantern which he claims
is the one Socrates" carried when he
walked through the streets of Athens in
search of an honest man." But aside
from the argument that might arise from
partisans of Diogenes voicing protest
in this matter, there is all interesting
feature in the story. Stripped of his
torical hyperbole, the lantern in ques-
ton, it Is said. can be traced back for
l5o years. and how much older it may
be no one knows. OF itself this is worth
while as reminder of what has oc-
CURED in that century and a half In the
matter Of lighting. There IL a wide inter-
val. In more respects than time. between
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
A sICILIAN NIGHT

BY Stephen Phillips
o for that deep Sicilian night,
When all the stars were burning bright
And ocean, in slumbers bound.
Gave but a sleepless gentle sound.
There's by that heavy, glimmering tide
We were together. side by side,
And 1 held you to me so fast;
There was no future and no past;
We were part Of consciousness,
That, suffering. makes to live no less.
Only a Quivering moment then
And an immortal. boundless ken;
Until knew you for my own
Beside the faint. eternal moon.
And you were, I, and I was you
In brief transparency of view.
A world all silent and all sheen.
All possible that might have been.
We spoke no more than do the dead.
But we were mute with Life instead.
o for that deep Sicilian night.
When for an Instant ~ poe xlGht. 49,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
Great God" cried she.
Can this be he
That slew the great Goliah."
Big Medicine.

That slew the great Goliah"
Big Medicine
Henry Watterson, in the Louisville
Courier journal
6T1EDDY has come and gone. There
was much that he said which
had been better left unsaid. But
we shall not insist upon this. He did
not explain, and could not. how he,
and the Bearded Lady whom he de-
clares so boisterously that he favors
for President, can make an accordant
duo of Der Yacht Am Rhine and La
Marseillaise." one playing the German
flute and the other piping the hurdy-
gurdy. But let this pass likewise. He
did make it clear that he claims to be
a fghter-a fighter from Wayback-
all the way from Bitter Creek, high
up and north side-and, being, not
merely claiming to be, of the same
breed and kidney, the Courier Journal
three rows of front teeth and never
a tooth alike!-proposes to take him
to task and at his word, to call him
down, to expose him, as a body may
say, before all the world!
Instant, when Germany advanced
upon Belgium the Courier journal sent
the Colonel brief but all-embracing
telegram which read Come, Teddy,
get your gun" To our infinite surprise
we got this answer:
1T would be folly to jump into the
gulf to no good purpose, and probably
nothing we COULD do would help Bel
GUM. We have not the smallest re-
sponsibility for what has befalIen her,
and 1 am sure that the sympathy of this
country for the suffering of the men,
women and children of Belgium is very
real Nevertheless, this sympathy is
compatible with full acknowledgment
of the unwisdom of uttering a single
word of official protest unless we are
prepared to make that protest effec-
tive; and only the clearest and most
urgent national duty would ever justi-
fly us In deviating from our rule of
neutrality and noninterference."
That was a sockdolager. What could
we do but shut up and possess our
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
ALABAMA PRESS

Opeika News: If the people of the
south fail to SOW wheat sufficient this
fall to make their own flour they will be
forcibly reminded of the fact next year
when flour has climbed to SIS the barrel.
Limestone Democrat: The Birmingham
Ledger correctly sizes up the situation
when 1t says the people of Alabama are
more interested in who got the railroad
money in recent political fights than in
the amounts spent by the railroads. II
the people had the corrept dope on thc
first proposition they would know better
how to size up the activities of these par
ties in the future.
Florence Times: The average production
per acre of corn has been estimated by
some statisticians as low as IL bushels.
No comment. necessary.
West Albanian: According to an ex-
change, there are at present 114o0O law
yers In the United States. And yet people
wonder at the increase of crime!
Moundsville News: Some fellow rises to
remark semi casionally that the farm
ers are in better shape than they ever
were, and clinches his argument with the
high price of cotton. And such fellows
wouldn't know a boil weevil from a bull
tongue scooter.
Marion Standard Bro. Cornish Of the
.Demopolis Times, writes g. solid column
on prohibition for a recent issue of his
paper. Things have gotten so awful dry
in these parts that it won't even rain,
and recalling the prohibition issue is like
awakening the dead
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
THE WOODEN CROSS
Chattanooga News.

From the Chattanooga News.
Writing to student at Yale, a men,
Der of the American ambulance corps
in France says: Two of the American
aviators have gotten the wooden cross
in the past week We have just heard
that Bill Thaw, ex-Yale 10, was killed
a few days ago. 1t did not come out in
the papers,
There is the iron cross of the first
class, and the iron cross OF the second
class, the Victoria cross, the cross of
the Legion of Honor-all OF those are
decorations given by the war chiefs of
Europe. But the wooden cross"-that
costs more than all others. That is the
decoration given by Moloch.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
NO HARM DONE.

Mrs. Dubwaite recently discovered
package of love letters Mr.. Dubwaite
wrote some years ago to a blonde
"As Mrs. Dubwaite is a pronounced bru-
nette. presume there was the dickens
of row."
mo. The letters were all addressed to
Mrs. Dubwaite"
But
"At that time she was a pronounced
blonde
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
CIRCUS DAY.

Circus day is such a joy,
Makes a chap feel like a boy.
Drops his work, is bound to go
Out just once and see that show.
Other days, gray haired and grim,
Now the long years slip from him.
Doubles up and slaps his knees
At the funny sights he sees
Frisky clowns and things like that
Painted face and painted hat.
Munches popcorn, peanuts, too,
Cranes his neck for a better view
When the artists" by their skill,
Fearless quite, amaze and thrill.
Wouldn't think that he could be
Hard as nails, but then, you see,
Circus day is such a joy,
Makes a chap feel like boy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
Auburn Alumni Luncheon

THE luncheon-meeting of the Auburn
alumni at the Hillman hotel Tuesday at
noon, promises to be very interesting
affair." said e. p. Daugette, promi-
nent member of this organization. Off
GERS of the association for the coming
year will be elected and plans discussed
for the entertainment of the Auburn foot
ball team when it comes here to play
Vanderbilt next month.
There is a great deal Of pleasure 10
be gotten out of these meetings. When
a man goes to college, graduates and
gets into the world to battle for his
daily bread, he is apt to forget his COL
lege friends. The fostering of an alumni
association makes him recall the happiest
days of his life and adds to the zest Of
living"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
BAD FOR THE NERVES.

us your friend in such desperate
plight?"
why do you ask?'
81 heard him say he didn't care what
happened to him.
ooh, he's irresponsible. He just now
tried to reach his fiancee over the tele-
phone for the fifth time and found the
line still busy"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
TOO EASILY MOVED.

This gentleman says he is a man OF
property. Yet, you won't accept his sigma
ture on my bond" protested the speed
find.
Just a moment" replied the minion
of the law. II happen to know that all
the property he owns is motorcycle and
a tin watch" PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
THE CLEVER BISHOP

From London Tit-Bits.
bishop recently Addressed large as
sembly of Sunday school children. and
wound up by asking, in very paternal
way. And now, is there any little boy
or girl who would like to ask me ques-
tion?'
A thin, snrill voice at the back of the
room called out: Please sir, why did
the angels walk up and down jacob s
ladder when they had wings?''
"Oh, all. yes-I see" said the bishop.
And now, Is there any little girl who
would like to answer this question:"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
Circus a Form
OF philanthropy

OF Philanthropy
rMHOBODY ever regrets the money
y v spent at circus. Yesterday
brought one of the oldest and best of
the big shows to Birmingham. 1t was
undoubtedly a welcome visitor, for
many thousands of old and young peo-
pie, from babes in arms to gray
haired grandfathers, thronged the
streets yesterday morning to see the
parade which started with commenda-
BILE promptness and delighted the null
titude with it's glittering wagons,
gaily caparisoned horsemen and horse
women, strange peoples from foreign
lands, elephants, camels, beasts of the
jungle, braying bands and footing cal
Hopes. AS CONCESSION to the public
many of the cages were open to view,
a generous policy on the part of the
circus management.
Shortly afterward the tide of hu-
mainly set toward the circus grounds,
ebbed late in the afternoon and flowed
again last night. And who will venture
to say that an enterprise which brings
happiness to so many thousands of
people, for a modest charge per
capita, is not a, philanthropic institu-
ton? If the matter were explained to
them, no small boy and no small girl
would hesitate an instant before af-
firming the claims of the circus to be
something more than mere money
making scheme. Most of the older
boys and girls feel the same way
about it.
So what does it matter if small
admission fee is charged? Could such
wonders be viewed anywhere else on
earth for the money, save under the
circus tents Assuredly not! Two and
even three circuses a year are not too
many for some people, but one year
is almost a necessity.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
MARRIED MONEY.

"Gadspur says his marriage to Mrs.
Gadspur brought a great deal into his
life"
Frankly spoken
What do you mean?"
Among other things, she has brought
into his life a town house. a country
house and a flock of automobiles"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
Popular West Virginia
Republican for Wilson

FOlpUI&P west virginia.
Republican for Wilson
NF the many prominent business
W men who will vote the demo-
cratic ticket next month for the first
time is J. W. Dawson, extensive coal
operator of West Virginia. He was
on the Hughes ticket as an elector
at large, but few days ago he wrote
to the republican state chairman ask
ing that his name be ken from the
list.
In a published statement he re-
viewed his political career briefly and
told Of his admiration for Charles e.
Hughes when the latter was gov
ernor of New York. He was for him
for President in 1908 when Taft was
nominated and elected, and said that
since that time he had hoped to see
him in the executive chair.
But Mr.. Dawson is now disillu-
stoned. "I have read Mr.. Hughes
public addresses with great deal of
anxiety" he writes. II do not find in
them any good reason why we should
change administrations at Washing
ton at this critical period I do not
find in Mr.. Hughes addresses that
candor and directness of assertion
which l had expected of him." He
further says that vote for Judge
Hughes would be assisting to turn
over the United States and the des-
TIMES of loo, 900, 900 people to the cor
rupt old guard, dominated-controlled
absolutely-by such men as Barnes,
Penrose, Crane and Smoot, and will
never be party to such treachery to
our country"
Mr.. Dawson is known to be an ex
ceptionally popular citizen of West
Virginia. In the state primary last
June he was elected delegate to the
national republican convention by a
majority of more than 10000 in spite
Of the fact that the state convention
had failed to indorse him.
Some democratic prophets have
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1916-10-24
MEANING HIS WALLET.

This rural visitor is simple sort of
person. 1 dare say he wouldn't under
stand city slang
Probably not" replied the sly conf
dence man, "but there is something in his
manner that seems to say, Take it from
me-"