Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1916-10-20
FINNEGAN'S PHILOSOPHY. !;


Eyes sir. He's like the patriarchs.
Which iv them? All iv them. He
smites the Civil Service Rock and re-
freshin' jobs gushes foorth for thursty
but dishurvin' Dimycrats. He blows
on a horn an ivrythin' falls for ut.
If the people call him liver so soft. Lit
tie Samuel had no quicker ear. An for
sacryficin' what's dear to his heart,
Abraham had nawthin' on him. Sure
he is Dimocricy's shield an exceedin'
great reward.
''T'is his Presbyterian bringin' up.
I'm thinkin. Furst he adopts policy;
thin he thries to justify it, thin he
sanctifies it wild a phrase, while choir
Nv Deshurvin Dimmycrats sings
hymn. An there We are. Justification,
Adoption an Sankty-ficashun.
1.-THE choir med great harmony whin
Jim Smith, George Harvey an Billy
Brine was all in ut. But wan be wan
their vices cracked an they passed out
Nv the life iv the great Idaylist.
Harvey whit back to edith an Bill
Brine whit in search Nv the Howly
Kale. McCombs was canned. because
him an Billy McAdoo cuddent sing
duet, an Oscar Underwood was weak
on Tariff ragtime. But Wudthrow die
grated them all. Wild f'what say We?
Wild the Order iv the Double Cross
Ohio. l mind well the time at the
Manhattan Club, whin he kissed Brine
an kicked Harvey wild wan motion.
Now the choir has what Wudthrow
calls the vital stuffs iv life.' Stone an
McAdoo; Danyiels an Jim Ham Lewis,
wild Redfield for the high falsetto.
Wudthrow sits wild his hands crossed
while the stuffs sings songs iv praise.
an Col. House winds the Victhrola.
"Wudthrow Is fond iv music. but
Colonel House himself is the quiet
man. Faith av he danced a Clog on
a Washbiler ye'd niver hear a sound.
well, wan night In August the Colo
mel come tiptoein' in through the base
ment dure.
How's the game, Colonel?' says
Wudthrow. $685. the Colonel says.
'Ye might round up few more votes
says he, scratchin' his ear wild an alb
sent air.
Amt l got the full dinner-paips?
axes Wudthrow, anxious like. All
that's forgot the first two year and
half says House pleasantly. Amt
KEEP 'em out O. WARP axes Wudthrow.
Part O. the time says House, rubin
his left shin wild the felt-slipper on
his right foot. Amt my voice our
greatest liquid asset? axes Wilson
earnestly. It's some voice. says
House, but lot iv suckers can't tell
a asset firm an lrbility,' the Colonel
says.
"'Fwhat are We drivin' att save
wilson, four flushing a little.
"'Arre We watchin' the strike? says
House Half a millyun votes might
be useful says House, tiptoein' out
through the dure, an closin' ut behind
him.
'Well, Sir, he left Wudthrow sunk
In profound miditashun. At last he
spakes. I hear he says, in low
sweet tone that vice iv the people,
which is TO me as the vice Of Car
negie Penshun.' oh, he says, thrillin'
in ivry nerve, must indade sacryfice
wan more IDOL says he, 'on the altar
iv me Counthry!' says Wudthrow.
"'Was not the Wan Turn Plank he
says; AN the Sugar Tax he says; an
the Tariff for Rev-noo,' he says; AN
all me friends, beside says he, six
teen per'fy good Mexican Policies
was not all thin enough? he axes in
agony. But I will purge me Heart iv
ivry pers'nal fought says he, startin'
for bed. An before he retires he takes
Heart Purge iv his own invinshun
the way it'll wurk while he sleeps. l
dinnaw f'what the purge Is. IT'S a
secret.
"In the morn he was puzzled. He
wanted a great sacryfise of pur-
rinciple dear to his heart, but he'd
used most fv thin already, an he felt
that this was no time for second hand
or slightly damaged sacryfises. So
he sends for House. Colonel, says
he, "Fwhat pur-rinciple d'yr think
wud be an acceptable sacryfise in this
great morel imargincy?' he axes anx-
iously.
"'Whisper,' says the Colonel. And he
said wan wurd in Wudthrow's ear, and
faded silently away through the dure.
"For wan instant Wudthrow stud
spellbound. Thin he burst into
Whoop: The Ram in the Bushes cries
he wild tears Nv j'y.
"'Twas an impressive ceremony
whin the sacryfise was solemny-ised
at the Capitol.
1.-THE procession started f'om the
White House wild the Prisidint walkin'
ahead carryin' the Ram in wan hand
an box iv Safety First matches in
TIL other. He was followed by coon
bearin' four gold pans, and behind
came four Union Chiefs ridin' On milk
white steeds followed be a group iv
Railroad Prisidints, Stock Holders,
Farmers, Shippers and Consumers,
loaded wild chains. After short SER