Oxford Democrat., 1916-01-25

uS Oue 1oNOE Tic lluSlOu VIII Ue per
fect-giye us your halberdier to wait on
our table,
"That hit the boss anthology hobby
just right. Sure says he, dot viii be
fine. Und der orchestra shall blay "Die
Wacht am Rhein" all der time And
he goes over and tells the halberdier to
go upstairs and hustle the grub at the
swells' table.
"T'm on the job says Sir Percival
taking of his helmet and hanging II
on his halberd and leaning 'em In the
corner. The girl goes up and takes
her seat, and l see her Jaw squared
tight under her smile. We're going to
be waited on by a real halberdier,
says she, one who Is proud Of his pro,
fession. Isn't 1t sweetT
Ripping says the swell young
man. Much prefer a waiter says the
fat old gent. 4 hope he doesn't come
from q cheap museum says the old
lady; he might have microbes in mis-
costume
Before he goes to the table Sir Per.
cival takes me by the arm. Eighteen,
says he, I've got to pull of this Job
without blunder. You coach me
straight or I'll take that rhalberd and
make hash out Of YOU And then he
goes up to the table with his coat OF
mail on and napkin over his arm and
waits for the order.
"'Why, it's Deeringr says the young
swell. Hello, old man. What the
"'Beg pardon, sir interrupts the hal.
berdier, I'm waiting on the table
"The old man looks at him grim, like
a Boston bull. so, Deering,' he says
you're at work yet
ayes, SIR says Sir Percival, quiet
and gentlemanly as could have been
myself, for almost three months now.
"'You haven't been discharged dur.
ing the time? asks the old man.
"'Not once, SIR says he, though I've
had to change my work several times
Waiter orders the girl, short and
sharp, another napkin He brings her
one, respectful.
~ never saw more devil. If may say
It, stirred up in q lady. There was two
bright red spots on her cheeks, and her
eyes looked exactly like a wildcats I'd
seen in the zoo. Her foot kept slapping
the floor all the time.
Waiter she orders, bring me I'll.
tered water without ice. Bring me q
footstool. Take away this empty salt,
cellar She kept him on the jump.
She was sure giving the halberdier his
There wasn't but few customers
up in the slosh at that time, 80 hung
out near the door 30 I could help Sir
Percival serve.
He got along fine with the olives
and celery and the blue points. They
was easy. And then the consomme
came up the dumb waiter all in one
big silver tureer. Instead Of serving
It from the side table he picks it up
between his hands and starts to the
dining table with 1t. When nearly
there he drops the tureen smash on
the floor, and the soup soaks all the
lower part Of that girls swell silk
dress.
"'Stupid-incompetentp says she, Civ.
ing him a look. Standing In a cor.
ner with q halberd seems to be your
mission in life.'
"sPardon me, lady says he. 1T was
Just little bit hotter than blazes. ]
couldn't help It,
"The old man pulls out memoran.
DUN book and hunts in It. The 25th
Of April. Deering,' says he. 7 know
IT, says Sir Percival. And ten min.
utes to IL O'clock says the old man
BY Jupiter, you haven't won yet!
And he pounds the table with his fist
and yells to me: Waiter, call the man.
ager at once. Tell him to hurry here
as fast as he can 60 after the boss
and old Brockmann hikes up to the
slosh on the Jump.
"T want this man discharged at
pncer roars the old guy. Look what
he's done. Ruined my daughters
dress. It'll cost at least 5000. DIS.
charge this awkward lout at once OF
III sue you for the price Of it.
"'Dis is bad pizness, says the boss.
SIX hundred dollars is much. reck.
on Will haf to-
swat a minute, Herr Brockmann,
says Sir Percival, easy and smiling.
But he was worked up under his tin
suihngs; I could see that And thea
he made the finest, neatest little
speech ever listened to. I can't give
you the words, of course. He give the
uillionaires a lovely roast In sarcas-
tic way, describing their automobiles
and opera boxes and diamonds. And
then he got around to the working
classes and the Kind Of grub they eat
and the long hours they work and all
that kind of stuf-bunkum, Of course.
The restless rich,' says he, never con-
tent with their luxuries, always prowl-
ing among the haunts Of the poor and
humble, amusing themselves with the
imperfections and misfortunes Of their
fellow men and women. And even
here, Herr Brockmann,' he says, In
this beautiful Rindslosh, grand and
enlightening reproduction Of old world
history and architecture, they come to
disturb Its symmetry and picturesque.
ness by demanding in their arrogance
that the halberdier Of the castle wait
upon their table! l have faithfully
and conscientiously,' says he, perform.
ed my duties as halberdier. know
nothing of q walters duties. It was
the insolent whim of these transient
pampered aristocrats that I should be
detailed to serve, them food. Must
b blamed-must be deprived Of the
means Of a livelihood he goes on. 'on
account of an accident that was thl
result or their own presumption and
haughtiness? But what hurts me morv
than all, says Sir Percival, Is the desc
Grafton that has been done to thii
splendid Rindslosh- confscat1on oI
its halberdier to serve mentally at th'
banquet board
"Nven could see that this stun VA
pifie, but It caught the boss.
"'Mein Gott,' says he, you vas right
hin halberiisr have not got der righ
% dish up soup. Him I VIII not dis
lhasnk Haya Anodef MlttaE 4 n.