Omaha daily bee., 1916-05-20
Engaged Couples
and Love
Blindness
by DOROTHY DIX.


There is no subject concerning which
there is wider difference Of opinion
that there Is about the ethics OF be
trothal. Among foreign people marriage
engagement Is almost as solemn and seri-
Gus a matter az the wedding. In the cast
Of our own country an engagement Is a
sort Of a quarantine nat keeps every
other man except her fance away from
q girl while IL doesn't bind him TO the
altar II he happens to change his mind.
IN the south, where they know how To
play the love game, an engagement Is
merely q preliminary sMrmish along the
matrimonial line and, short Of the wed
ding day. either party can draw back
with honor, and without breach Of prom
iRc suits,
Nor do individuals agree rs to what
privileges aud rights an engagement be
stowg upon the bctrolhcd. There are men
who think that an engagement gives them
tho fun authority Of matrimopy and that
they have perfect right To boss their
fiancees, and do the jealous Turk act
whenever any other man shows their
particular ladylove the slightest atten'
ton
And there are girls who think that
being engaged 10 man gives them inc
privilege Of policing their bctrothed ana
10 raise Cain every time their own
RoneoG look at another woman, or slfe
evidence that they are aware that there
Ia another skirt in tho world.
This Is pushing a good thing TOO far
This Ia tyranny Of the most CALLING 40
noatic brand. II is time enough for ono
TO assume the attitude Of D keeper ana
one who-mnst .bo-obeyed wien ono actn-
ally marries and the engaged should re-
fleet that. after all until the wedding
ceremony has been performed he or shs
has only an option on the party Of the
other part The trade has not been
closed nor tho goods delivered.
II Ia selfish and 6Nerbearng for man
Before marriage 10 narrow a girl down
10 hlP exclusive society and whatever at
entons he chooses 70 bestow upon her.
There's time enough for that when she rs
his wife and can mako him take her
about TO places abe wishes 10 80. Like
wise n Is both silly and catfish for
woman to keep man tied TO her apron
strings during The days Of her engage
ment, He will have plenty of that sort
Of thing afterward when lie will have 70
produce an, alibi for every evening no
spends away from her s-..
AZ a matter Of fact, there would be a
great many moro happy marriages II
engaged couples looked upon their be-
trothal az merely a period Of probation
during which they undertook tho serious
task Of finding out something about eac1
others character and disposition and
whether they were temperamentally
suited and likely td<make % matr m1ny
glad sweet song instead Of a Kilkenny
cat fight.
There are q great many worthy men and
admirable women who. with the best in
tentions in the world and even with n
sincere affection for each other. are so
antagonistic by nature that II they marry
they will make each other moro miserable
than any deliberate villain could II
should be the province Of the engagement
TO reveal this state OF affairs and to give
the hapless couple chance TO withdraw
on the safe side Of the altar.
1t Is a thousand pities that engaged
couples, instead Of billing and cooinG
and asking each other "oose ducky is
oo?' and will 100 ever get tired OF me?'
and does 100 love me million, billion.
trillIon bushels7" don't use the precious
opportunity to find out what each other
thinks of the real problems OF real life.
and investigate each others tastes on
every subject from politics to pic.
There wouldn't he 80 many divorces il
n,it.
to brass tacks before he married her and
ascertain II she was prepared TO do her
own cooking. and mako her own clothes,
and undertake the hardships Of q poor
mans wife. Nor would there be so many
family spats or so many neglected wives
II the engaged young man would find out
whether his sweetheart had advanced
views about women's rights. and intel-
gence enough to understand when no
talked to her about the books in which
he was interested.
Nor would there be 40 many discon-
tented wives II engaged girls would get
the views OF their future lords on the
subject Of a wifes rights. financial and
otherwise, and find out whether tho man
she was purposing to marry intended 10
make an unpaid servant, playthlng,
or q real companion OF her,
Every engaged man and woman should
be a Sherlock Holmes on the trail Of the
man or woman he or she is purposins
20 marry. Every characteristic should ba
studied. every word weighed. every ACT
analysed, and II the investigation con
WINGED either party that the marriage
would be- q mistake there should be no diff
tlculty In breaking the engagement, and
no discrodtt attached 10 doing 80.
For thls reason the breach OF promise
suit should Dc thrown out u court. and
che MAN or woman who breaks an en-
Easemeht instead ~ being pepaitaed
should b. aNuoftd for having the couraga
10 own up 90 having made mistake.
and taken atcps 90 correct q hefora O.
WAS too late AZ maat a broken engage
mfW Is q plu prick 20 affection AMT
pride, hgi a divorce or mtzfFabie mar.
flaRe Is a stab SO mo very heart "a
aaeiTt3