Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1916-01-14
NEVER AGAIN FOR HIM
MR.. BURLlSoN DECLARES HIM.
SELF IN STRONG TERMS.
Good Reasons Why He Should Make
Resolution Not to Bring the Sun
day Dinner From the City
"Why, Henryl"

There was the look of a man with a
troubled soul in the face of Mr.. Henry
Burlison when he reached his home
one Saturday evening. The smiling
face of his wife did not lessen the
look of grim determination in the face
of Burlison. A wife with far less in
tuition than Mrs. Burlison had would
have discovered that something had
gone wrong, and Mrs. Burlison asked,
why, Henry, what has happened?"
Burlison stepped into the vestibule
of his home and dropped the suit case
he carried to the floor with a dull
thud. His voice had an edge like a
blade as he said:
Something has happened that will
never happen again if live to be so
old that Methuselah will seem like a
kid when compared with me. This is
the last time I save Is cents by TAX
ing that suit case downtown with me
on Saturday and bring home our Sun
day dinner in it to save express
charges-the very last timel"
why, Henry, what happened?"
Enough happened to make me tell
you that I'll eat my Sunday dinner
from an armchair restaurant with gilt
tering white letters on the window an
nouncing frankfurters and mashed po-
tatoes for 10 cents before I'll do any
Saturday marketing with a suit case
%But you haven't told me what hap
pened.'
~You would have seen what hap
pened if you had been with me just as
/ reached the subway stairs. / s'pose
i mad forgot to push down the clasps
that help to hold the suit case to-
gether, and the thing was so crammed
full that it was too much for the self
locking arrangement, and the thing
opened right at the top of the stairs
why. Henryl"
you'd say Why, Henry!' If you had
seen six-pound Philadelphia capor
travelling down those stairs, followed
by three big yellow grapefruit ant
half dozen apples!"
why, Henryl"
"a bunch of celery rolled down two
or three steps, and a man racing dowI
the stairs stepped on it and slipped
and he threatened to sue me for dam
ages You will find the print of {
woman's boot heel on that pound o
butter, and l left the dozen eggs
had bought on the subway stairs, 70
| would have needed shovel to hav'
scraped them up after they had rolle'
down six iron steps! One of tn
grapefruit rolled between the feet o
she gave a yell like a maniac an,
called for the policel A grinning lido
caught up one of the grapefruit AM
flung it up toward me, and two othe
men pelted me with the apples!"
ooh, Henry!"
1.-THE bottle of maple strip sprea
over six of the steps, and the peopl
carried it home on the soles of thei
shoes; and the paper came off tn
soup bone l had bought, and I left
lying at the foot of the subway stairs
All is, this is the very last time 20
ever hear of me. saving 15 cents 1
that wayl My lacerated feelings ar
worth at least a quarter, and
"Oh Henry!"
81 left half of my stuff in the sui
way, and the other half will taste bi
ter to me when I think of that gal
ing, grinning, giggling, tittering mo
that saw me standing there with m
empty and open suit case in my han
and all that stuff travelling down tn
. subway stairs"
"Why, Henry! Judge.