Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1916-03-24

When Mr.. A. v. r. {. Jones-Aver-
age Jones, his friends called him
complained that he had a craving 70
take part in the dynamic activities of
life and was hampeced by the neces-
sity Of spending his dead uncle's mil
lions in New York, Waldemar, the
owner of an important and decent
newspaper, told him to 90 in for fol-
towing up queer advertisements in the
newspapers, and that he would pay
for tracing down fraudulent advertis-
ers. The first ad that attracted Jones
was this one:
wANTED-PERFORMER on B-FLAT
trombone. Can use at once. Apply with
instrument after ! p. m, 80 East leoth
street
And this is the story Of the ad:
ADVISOR Do you expect me TO
blight my budding career by poison
Gus pun like that?" demanded Average
Jones with wry face.
1t may be a poisonous pun. but it's
an arresting catch-word said Waldo
fifty lines viii do Il, in nice open style
Caps and lower Ease, aud black-faced
type for the nst21s and title Insert
twice a week in every New York and
Brooklyn paper"
Suppose, then. do burst into flame
TO this effect?" queried the prospec
tive Advisor" "Et apres? as We
proudly say after spending a week IL
Paris"
"Apres? Oh, plenty of things
You'll be flooded" promised Waldo
mar,
And between times I'm TO go skip
ping about. chasing B-iat trombones
suppose"
You'll have no time for skipping
Within six months. If you're not sand
bagged or jailed on fake libel suits
you'll have a unique photography OF
swindles. Then I'll begin to come and
buy your knowledge TO keep my OWL
columns clean"
The speaker looked up 10 meet the
gaze OF an iron-gray man with harsh
sallow face.
Excuse my interrupting," said the
newcomer. Just one question, Wal
demar. Who's going to be the nomi
nee?"
Under"
'Linder? Surely not! His federal
3Obgs
He resigns in two weeks"
His record will kill him.
What record? You and / know
he's q CRATER. But can we prove any
thing? His clerk has always handled
all the money"
Wasn't there an old scandals
woman case!" asked the questioneI
vaguely.
THAT Washington mans wife? Toe
old. Under would deny it fatty, and
there would be no witnesses. The
woman is dead-killed by his brutal
treatment OF her. they say. But the
whole thing was hushed up at the time
by Linder's pull, and when the hus
hand threatened to kill him Lindel
quietly set q commissioner of insanity
on the case and had the man pu
away. He's never appeared since. No
that wouldn't be politically effective.
The gray man nodded and walked
away, musing.
"Egbert. the traction boss" ex
planned Waldemar. We're general,
IN opposite sides, but this time wer,
both against Under Egbert wants /
cheaper man for mayor I want /;
straighter one. And could get hin
this year il Under wasn't so well for
titled. However 10 get back to ou
project, Mr. Jones"
Get hack 10 It they did with such
absorption that when the group broke
up. several hours later, Average
Jones was committed. by plan ant
rote, to the new and hopeful adven
1ure of Life. What time the Honor
ahie William Under matured his de
signs on the mayoralty, Average
Jones sat in q suite o. Offices in As
tor court, 3 location which Wal6emal
had advised as being central, exren
Eive and inspirational OF confidence
aud considered, with a whirling brain
the minor wees OF humanity. II was
hard, honest study and helpful tot
rather than the romance and adven
ture which he had hoped for, until, il
6 quiet street in Brooklyn, Of which
he had never so much as heard, there
befeIl that which gave Average Jone: