Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1916-09-29
FINNECAN'S PHILOSOPHY
BKLAHM.

that kDowed less than his Jackass. He
took an Office to curse the people.
The Jackass saved them. IT'S all in
Number Twinty-two. Och, honel IT'S
different these times. The Jackass
knew better till Balaam tanned him.
Lave me ride ye,' says Balaam, an
I'll make We the biggest ASS in the
wurld.'
Great says the ASS; what dye
feedT
Pork says Bnlaan.
"'Me savior says the ASS.
$50 Bplaam mounts. Nut soon the
JACK balks.
"'Phwnt Is itT' says BalAam.
"'Snnkes,' says the ASS; ut looks
like the jawbone Nv me mother
"'G'wan,' says BALKAN, hittin' the
ASS n clip, tits me furren' policy
he says.
"'Phwat's ut forT axes the ASS.
"'Ut defnds the nashun,' says Ba-
laam.
"'HOwT says the ASS.
Faith : says Balaam, ut takes a
uAbBCi hSo uiuu yOu " hhuW llluts
Lave It to Brine says Balnam to the
Ass; an the Jack walks on medlta-
tin.
"'Hee. haw,' says the ASS, balkin'
an klckln'.
"'What nowT' says Balaam.
"'Divil' a Jackass ever seen the like
says the Ass. ut could be a frog
says he. for ut stands up in front,
and sits down behind an tbs mostly
mouth says the ASS. ut has white
feathers says the Jack, wild yaller
streaks, that changes he says, to
Very CrOOz Red. or Nlagary Blue, an
now they're Carrysall Yaller again.,
says he. 'Hlvins, have | been drink
inf' screams the ASS to Bnlaam.
"'Salnts be praised says Balaam.
Me Watchful Waltln' can still change
its mind he says. 'G'wan, where
glory waits he says. 'G'wan, in the
service NV Mankind says palaam to
the ASS, touching him up. An the
ASS shufles ahead, wavln' his ears In
admiration.
"'Hee-hawl Hee-hawl' says the
Jack, rearin' up wild his eyes bulgin'.
"'Phwat's grippin' We nowT says
Balaam, %lmpashunt like.
~ dunno says the ASS. Ut looks
like the FLYNN Dutchman with a So
cialIst Crew. he says.
"'"Tis me Ship Bill says Balaam.
Side step to the right he says ;
side step to the left says he, wei
tin him. Back up says Balaam,
near wrenchin' Off the Jacks jaw.
Now forward for the Merchant Ma
lrine an fifty mlllyun pork says Ba-
liam wild a shower Nv blows an the
Ass goes on thremblin'.
"'Wnh-heel Wah-heei Wah-hee !!
says the Jack, shyin' so he near
threw his rider.
"Tll learn We to shy at me Naval
BILL says BALKAN, lar-rupln' the
bnste so he cud scarce stand.
aye can't pass ut widOut wearin'
Republican Clothes says the Jack in
a coarse whisper.
aye ASS says Balaam. Don't We
know that amy cloes is betther nor
nakedness1 G'wan,' says Balaam, in
tones NV thunder. So the poor haste
lOpes on limpln' wild pain.
ave not time to tell We all the ad-
ventures they had, but they KEEP on
over rough roads, now an then eros.
sin a ditch on n war term plank.
which made even Balanm unaisy
iIviry time the Jnck kicked, he got
short %ratiOns an a wHllOp. So when
the journey was near over, the poor
basic was all In, and far too proud tC
fight. Any Jack-Ass can be thai
when he's licked.
IVAN stormy night, the Jack blooms
into a harmony like a Dimycrat Tariff
Hymn played on a gasplpe wild the
feet.
"'Phwnt alls We nOwT calls Balaam
ciubbln' him wild both hands.
"'Nlvver did | pass the like yell,
the Ass, sweating and thremblin'. III
says uts nm eight hour law. Oh. phwat
is .utT screams the ASS to Balaam
feebly Vaughn his enrs.
az dinnO phwat ut is meself,' say,
BALKAN. but ! know phwat ut's got,
Balaam says.
"PhwatT axes the poor ASS.
"Five hundther thousand votes.
says BalHnm. wild q piOus air. 'G'wan
ye big ASS, an doant ye argue wiC
an IdHylist,' says Balaam to the Ass
awe can't pass ut In the dark,
pleads the ASS. Lave us wait 70.
light means the ASS, weepln'.
INK says Bnlaam. There's a no
time comm an the vOtes1l Spite
lDO ye thurst for sixteen more year
in the wilderness7 Giddap,' says he
'purgin' yer heart says BALKAN, f.
.ivlry thought that's SELFISH says Ba
Ilanm, or personal chants Balaam t
the poor ASS ticklin' the Jacks Stat
wild a cOuplln' pin.
"By this time the Ass was so wOr
out wild his ardyous labOrs, that h
knew no more than BALKAN himself
SO, wild one %despalrln' cry, he drOppel
his ears. as he an his master stumblel
forward into the dark"