Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1916-03-17
MyAgent
By F. A. Mitchell

One evening | was keeping an eye
out for a place to stay over when I
came to a neat looking house-not a
farmhouse-that looked us if it was or
had been inhabited by refined people.
But what attracted my attention was
a sign fastened to the gate bearing the
words Matrimonial Agency" 1t seem
ed rather to mt that they should be
'Courting Quarters The place was
certainly very coy.
1t is needless to add that | put mp
at the house. | was received by an
elderly lady whose manne seemed
quite too refined and courtly for an
occupant of such Il modest establish
ment. | asked her. if she were the
matrimonial agent, and she said she
was not. Her daughter was trying to
make something in that way. She new
er appeared to strangers unless they
called professionally. Being curious, l
told the mother that | was ready for
a wife whenever fate should throw n
into my hands and, handing her a fee
in advance. asked to see her daughter.
{ l expected to meet an angular old
maid or widow. What was my surprise
when the plumpest, rosiest little crea-
ture came into the room smiling from
her eyebrows to the tip of her dim
pied chin. She appeared to be about
seventeen years old, though she was
twenty. Coming at once to business,
she asked:
Nnn n prnfnr N bland or n hruI-
nette?'
Looking into her blue eyes, l told her
that l preferred blends. But" | add
ed, before coming to particulars l
should like to talk with you about mat
rimony. DO you recommend it?'
1T would be absurd for me to rec
ommend what is SO important a part,
if not the most important part, of ma
ture."
1t struck me that this was evading
responsibility. l wondered at one so
young being so diplomatic.
do you vouch for the persons you
introduce?' | asked.
"Only for their responsibility"
'Then you do not guarantee happi-
ness?"
81 do not. The happiness of married
persons depends only on themselves
Have you made many matches?'
"a number of persons l have brought
together have married"
"Have the unions usually turned out
happilyT'
Il have not been in the business long
enough to find out"
you surely don't sail under false
~pretenses."
l described the appearance of the
girl l should like to marry, and she
might have beer the twin sister of the
matrimonial agent. She declined to
notice the fact that | had given her as
a model, and nothing l could do to
persuade her to drop her professional
attitude had any effect upon her. Her
method was to give her business card
to the man of the couple she proposed
to bring together, with the name and
address of the lady on it. But she
never introduced a couple unless she
had thoroughly investigated both par
ties and was satisfied that each was
i'll earnest in seeking a matrimonial
mate.
Before leaving l gave her my name
and address, with references to GER
tain cronies of mine whom | could
trust. 1 had no idea of having her in
troduce me TO a possible wife. My OBJ
ject was to visit her again, and |
knew she would not receive me unless
/ satisfied her that my application was
bona fde. Indeed, in one respect il
was bona fide. | was willing to CON
slider the agent herself as a possible
wife-not that | had made up my mind
to any such result, but it was pleasant
to contemplate.
The matrimonial agency was not far
distant from my home, and a fortnight
after my return l ran out in my car to
see the agent again. She informed me
which | already knew-that the re-
ports of me were satisfactory and she
was ready to give me a card to a
young lady who was looking for a hus-
band. | took the card. but informed
the agent that, being very busy, l
might not soon deliver it. Not wish
ing that she should be delayed in re-
ceiving her fee, l handed her another
retainer. She took it in a business
like manner and told me l was well
come to take my oWn time in the
matter.
When I called again l told the agent
that l should like several introduetions,
stating at the same time that | would
choose a wife from among those in
whom she was interested. She con
scented to this. and l left her. During
the winter l went to see her a number
Of times, always apologizing for not
having called on any of the young la
dies whose addresses she had given me.
Toward spring, after having called
on the agent many times and upon
non of those she had recommended, |
went TO see her for the last time rs q