Warren sheaf., 1916-08-02

' SoAA hiAlIeu ssu1c1ue dUOuC Two lOurS
ago?'
NO" was the answer. "Was it
around here somewhere?'
only three blocks away. He jump
ed from wharf right into the ca
nal and went down to the bottom like
stone. Some boys saw him jump in.
What do you suppose was his last act
before he jumped?'
He pulled off his coat maybe" said
Mr.. Bowser.
mo, he didn't. He tugged at his
chin whiskers as If he would pull them
out by the roots.''
That was funny"
And yet it wasn't went on the bar
Der as he rubbed away at the cheek.
-Four -ifths Of the suicides among men
are wearers Of chin whiskers. It seems
to affect their brains the raising of
whiskers on the chin.''
Il don't see how that can be-" blunt
" exclaimed Mr.. Bowser. 'sWhiskers
have nothing to do with the brain,
whether on chin or cheeks"
Il beg to differ with you," said the
barber in propitiating tones. 'I have
been in this business for twenty years,
and have made study Of whiskers
all that time. Let me give you tip.
1t you want to come to grief raise and
wear chin whiskers. No man of sound
Judgment ever wears them They de-
note weak character. They denote a
vacillating mind They are sign of
vanity
= can't agree with you" protested
Mr.. BOwser. Take my own case here.
Would you say that am weak mind
ed cr vain man p Il.
Quite the contrary, SIR"
Then what difference would it make
If wore chin whiskers?'
1T would change your looks entirely.
sir. You will excuse me, l am sure,
but If you brought chin whiskers into
this shop should have a poor opinion
Of your character. You would be like
a man have heard Of His name Is
Bowser, and he lives about mile from
here
''Bowser, eh? What about Bowser?''
asked the man In the chair as he sat
up a little.
why, he is the vainest and most
conceited man in all the town. He
quarrels with his wife and is always
In the wrong. He is always kicking to
his butcher and grocer. He is always
wanting to raise chickens, go to the
north pole or some such fool thing.
Say, didn't get the name of the man
who jumped into the canal, but
thought strikes me- I'll bet dollar
even up that it was old Bowser him
self It would be just like him to start
in and grow chin whiskers and when
he found what the world thought of
him become Respondent and rush for
the canal. AS soon as you go out 1
shall try to find out whether it is him
or not. I believe he has been in this
shop two or three times and that
could identify him, even if dead. There
Is little room, sir, for cranks and kick
ers in this world of ours. and maybe
It was time for old Bowser to 60 up
there where they play on the golden
harps.''
You seem to have personal grudge
in this case,'' said Mr.. Bowser, as he
made a motion as II to get out of the
chair.
tsOh, no, no, no. said the barber,
hourishing his razor around In fact,
instead Of a grudge I have pity for
him, whether he is alive or dead.
have read and heard enough about him
to realize that he was born half witted
and can't help being what he Is. It's
pretty hard on his wife, though, and
the last straw to break the cameps
back would be for him to grow chin
whiskers. Will you start in to raise q
mustache, sir, or shall l give you
clean shave y
Do you take me FOR a jackass p
fairly shouted Mr.. Bowser.
Certainly not, Sir. shall 60 ahead
and shave every thing. You are right,
Sir. A man with your face would be a
jackass to fall In love with either q
mustache or whiskers About that Mr..
Bowser, sir .a
oh, shut up about Bowsery' ex-
claimed the man IN the chair.
And the barber didn't block out any
beautiful chin whiskers, and Mr.. Bow
ser didn't 60 home and surprise Mrs.
Bowser. All she said when he came IN
and sat down was: IS ss Y.
9 You look better with that stubble
OF. If you had any sort OF whiskers
they would make your face look like q
pumpkin half hidden away In the pig
weeds.