The Palatka news and advertiser., 1916-06-30
HOW TO BECOME OF
THE SOCIALLY ELECT
John Mallem Tells Eager
Crowd Best Plans to
Pursue.

what do you know ABOUT II, any
way, you old scoundrel," barked Jack
Finn as he stood for moment un-
noticed before John Mallem's window
listening to John dilate to crowd of
social customs and the failure OF
certain individual efforts to gain en-
trance in modern society
"Ha; guess l read pape," said John,
with a twinkle in his eye as he turn
ed to Finn, 81 take re JaX Metrop'
lis, mos up-to-dateness societee pape
in State; got page for white folks
and page for niger; l read 'em both
ev' day and keep myself post. But
dat niger page; him's re most 'clu-
sive soci'ty compost ever; eet got re
white folk beat mile an half. Las
Sunday was corker; one verse, heem
say: Miss Elfreda Underlip she gave
recep last Tursday eve in honoree of
her ges' Miss Lowena Macdulceanna,
at palace home her parents on Lev
enth street. Hon'ree she wear low
necked shoe an corsage bokay Of
viii cherree blos'm, an her charm hos
tess is just same, cause day were
bot members Betti Alpa Pie of Col
lege for Culture by Tallahassee. l
scream and newton figs were serve
during intermission of game. Four
tables play whist bridges and two
tables were exclusive to peanuckle.
Mis- Macdulceanna whose home is by
Youkon- on Saint John, is stay q week
and undoubt will receive more social
attention from local soci'ty leaders -
"That's all right" replied Finn,
you may be up in colored society,
but what do you know about best
white social circles?"
"Well, don't | read pape?" retort~
ed John; 81 guess pape tells how mems
act and what ladee wear; what kind
reefreshment been serve and what do
to make hour pass pleasant. Zen |
hav book etikett and heen tells bout
what peopl say. l member one case
partic'lar; dees man was peen-head in
many way, but hees nerve take heem
in beS' Socletce.
"Dees mans he absorb some culture
over by East Palatka and Yelvington
and when he came by Palatka hcos
gcet more by readin' posters by Ed.
Wattles stuck on side Of Gram oprey
house. IIees art ed'cation was shy
ccpt for my picture of jerusalem an
some postcards hees finger by Row.
tons. Hees clos were latest cut in
Beach Palm an had belt in back with
galvanized tin buckle. Hees also
wear white shoe and twenty-five cent
necktie over 4 friscasseed shirt front.
Hees hat was cost someting like dol
lar'n half. Hees look like dude, all
right-but hees nerve, dat's where he
live.
"One day he comes by me and say:
John, | geet invitation to swell lawn
fate with lettuce sandwich and. coffee
and punch. If l can geet % cents
to release my clothes from Wun
Fang'S laundry, | go. Fine chance
for me to geet cen societee, and once
| geet cen, I'm all O. X | let hecm
have two bits and hees go.
Next day he tol me he had great
time. Hees say: 4 escort Miss Hor-
tense Bantam to her home and shoes
cenvite me in. In house she say,
take couple chairs and pleas excuse
me minute; | go to my bodwee. Then
she came back and recline half
length on Divan in Turkish corner,
and smile to me an say: Meester
Lonely, what you think of Seinkie-
wicz? Now, | done heard the name,
but | didn't know whether he was au-
thor of "Silver Threads Among the
Butter or What Are the Wild Waves
Saying, Maudie." But my earlee
preparation for societee had just such
emergency cen mind, an | knowed
just what kin of conversational pars-
ley was need to ganeesh a full-blown
interlectual vacuem. tol' young la
dee | like Sienk, but eet sometian oc-
cur to me hees show lack of eensight
and bread arteestick grasp. Is tol
her that the elaboration of incident
showed a certain modicum of skill, but
that there was not enough plus hu-
man sympathy in the coloring of the
subtitle motives. Is put it to her
cen that away for some time and
when l go shees hol my han and say,
Delight to have you came any even
ing, Mistair Lonely.
Yes sir, that mans got strangle
hol on societee cen this town." said
John. "Hees piker all right, but hees
know bout societee, and hecs told me-"
you've certainly got it pat, all
right, said Finn as he winked at the
scrite and went toward the cigar fac.
tory.