The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1915-09-21
The Too Good Man
His Kindness Is Always Repelled.
BY NJ QUAD
Copyright, 1916. sy tho Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

I've figured 1t up with slate and pen
ell. and I've chalked 1t down and add
ed 1t up and subtracted 1t and multi
Piled 1t ON the barn door, but 1t Away
comes out the same-the too good maj
has no place In this world. He is |
sort of cross between burdock ant
sunfower-not ornamental enough
for wear nor good enough eating fol
cows.
Coming up from Red Bank the othel
day, followed an old man into tn,
passenger coach. had noticed hin
on the platform, and recognized hin
as belonging to the species l have
named.
The train had scarcely begun to
move when my too good man, who had
a rear seat, rose up apd announced:
Don't nobody be skeered, now. This
hain't no collision. It's just like they
allus move off. I've rid on 'em more'n
dozen times, and I'll tell you when to
jump off,"
Everybody looked at him, while some
deluded him with smiles meant to be
Encouraging. He slowed away his
satchel and removed an old SLOUGH hat
he had been wearing.
There was woman sitting alone a
few seats down the aisle. She had an
umbrella, a bundle secured with a
shawl strap and two or three parcels
on the seat, and as Uncle Jerry passed
down the aisle he stopped before her
and cheerfully observed:
Face kinder familiar to me, but I
can't remember your name. Never
been much of hand at remembering
names, anyhow. Husband few around
and helped ye to git ready, ! suppose?
Leave the children all right? Been lots
o measles around this year. Didn't
leave the outside cellar door open, did
yep
II don't know ye," she said as she
looked up.
what! Hain't ye Hammer Jones Of
Jones' Crossroads
mo, SIR"
"Waal, I swow! I'd bet two-year-
old steer agin a cider BARI that We
was"
The next one he accosted was man
fully as old as himself whose crown
was bald and who wore spectacles. He
was reading letter. which he had TAX
en- from corn colored envelope. when
ri r,ft,
In the ribs and called out:
Lands, you look just like my broth
err Bill across the back and head. Coin
somewhat, | s'pose."
who did that?" testify exclaimed
the old man as he looked up.
Il kinder poked We, but it hain't !
nuthin' to git mad at" replied Uncle |
Jerry. Folks all we'll at home, hope. !
How'd yer taters keep last winter?
Hear any demand fur turnips lately?"
Il want you to stop, l sayp' yelled |
the old man as he waved his arms
around.
Then l will. II We are so techy as
all that / don't want nuthin' to do
with ye. Lucky that We hain't goin' to
run fur supervisor in my town. You
wouldn't git blamed vote. Howdy
do, nayburT"
This last remark was addressed to a
rather savage looking man with weed
On his hat who was reading a maya.
Eine.
II warn you TO 20 on" said the man.
I'm wicked! I'm tuffl III hurt ye"
by squash, but what Teller ye bel
Haul right off and PUNK me cause |
want to be friendly, chr"
He seemed to be a bit discouraged
or q moment, but presently his eye
'aught the figures Of two females at
he far end OF the car, and he edged
long down to see II anything was
wanted in his line. The two were
mother and daughter. and the latter
Iidn't look well
did she fall down the cellar stairs
" pitch of the haymowr kindly in
luired Uncle Jerry as he sat down on
he rail Of the seat
Are We speakin' OF me dsrterr' de-
handed the mother.
"Zactly. Doesn't look Just right for
his time Of the year. II I'd only
bought I'd brung along a bunch o. ,
layweed and told re how to make tea
( II. Beats all creation how mayweed
akes the kinks out Of the system. She
int in luv. Is she7'
"Sir!"
"Naybur O. mine had a gal about her
&c who began 20 ravel out and fade
way. They put horsersdish drafts TO .
err feet mustard plasters 10 her neck /
nd dosed Der with catnip. mayweed
nd sage tea. but she continued TO fake 1
q and fade in the wash and finally I
led When too late they diskivered /
be had all along bin In luT with BIN I
Iawes. my hired man. who was 30 !
hui burned bashful that he dassn't I
~ q word about u. Better begin 10 I
ant around the grass and see ~ some-
lin Of that sort Amt troublln' her
-You old critfer. 60 away from here
ith yer barney or IN be the death q /,
," shouted the mother. and az Re
Imped back she RULED the giri out !,
10 the aisle beside her and waved
r umbrella IN = threatening manner. 4
'W-whats the rumpus now gasp =
Uncle Jerry in great establishment !
IL Fs don't 20 tn cal TIE policsf-
Wnnl b. gum. n was e. tel TITS
Lucr when ! rit hume she'd sag
: asisep and hsd the nightmare.