The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-06-01

GAY! did you ever get ready and
move into new apartment?
Take it from me it's an occupa-
fion that makes the burning of Rome
pook like an election-night bonfire.
I'm going to talk harshly about it
some day when l recover the use OF
three fingers, disfranchised by the un-
expected closing of a folding door
(which had previously refused to fold
! However, here we are in the "cozy
1ittle nest" that Peaches sopranoed
$50 canaryishly for many weeks before
we finally flew up into this tenement
tree.
Now that we are in "the nest" she
sings a different tune, poor girl, be-
cause she finds it mighty hard to hit
high G of Joy when she has to put in
eighteen hours a day waiting for the
dumb-Waiter to be fixed, and the hot
water to be turned on, and the knob
introduced to the dining room door,
and all the other thousand and one
prediction promises, so earnestly
given and so eagerly unkept.
Now we come to the plot of the
piece.
Peaches invited a few friends to
house-warming dinner and an hour
bitter they had vociferously accepted
bur cook got mad becauses he found
out the Persian rug on her boudoir
floor was made in New Jersey and
quit-left us fiat with a bunch of
rv3n Har I, A1l oil 1xr
gone in training for a long heavy
feed; catch as catch can, strangle-hold
barred, but go to the mat with every
thing from clans to the printers
name.
For twenty-four hours Peaches
spent her time hurrying between the
intelligence offices and the depths of
despair, and that dinner party began
to look like cold turkey.
And the next day, just as l was
about to send out the S. o. S. signals,
tramp cook arrived with the milk
man, prepared to pour oil on our trou-
bled kitchen stove.
The name of the new cook was
Helga. She was half Swede and half
deaf.
Peaches asked her for recommends
tons, and Helga said that her only
recommendation was her face, but
that she tripped the night before and
broke it just above the chin.
Peaches engaged her-what else
could she do with kind and loving
friends eager to exercise our silver
ware and gurgling their hunger at cur
outer walls?
Helga was shown to her room. She
kicked little because there wasn't a
Southern exposure, but subsidized when
Peaches promised her a bunch of fresh
cut flowers every morning. Then the
procession started for the kitchen,
hating for a moment in the buffers
pantry so that Helga could inform her
self as to whether we voted the Pro
hibition or Progressive ticket
Helga discovered four bottles of
beer coyly reposing on the ice in the
refrigerator, whereupon her face be-
came lighted up with the joys of an
ticipation and she rushed out and
embraced the gas stove.
When, later on, Peaches joined me
in the front room she looked woe-be-
gone and frightened. Its an awful
risk" she sighed; 81 feel that the
friendship of years may be interrupted
because we have new and uncertain
cook in the kitchen-do you get me,
John?"
Sure" l said; but what are we
going to do about it, Kid? It's too late
to cancel your bookings now. These
friends of ours have been saving up
their hunger for three days. We can't
send them a buttered biscuit on a
postal card and pass them up. Let's
go through with it and hope for the
best-maybe Helga is a good cook"
I'm afraid not, John" Peaches
moaned. "She picked up a bowl of
radishes just now and said she
thought Strawberries were out of sea-