davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
Obituary
John Adcock.

John Adcock.
John Adcock, passed away Sunday
at 1O:45 a. NJ at his home two mile,
southwest of Chillicothe at the age Of
So years. He is survived by his wife
and eight children.
The funeral was held this afternoon
at 8 o'clock from the Chillicothe Meth.
odist church, conducted by Rev. John
Brown of Batavia, assisted by the
Chillicothe pastor Interment was
made in Chillicothe cemetery.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
BLAKESB URG.

]. L. Dorothy and wife left Monday
for lDes Moines for a visit with their
daughter Mrs. Chesley Rogers.
George Alternately Of Allerton is here
he was called by the serious illness of
his mother Mrs. Ann Alternately.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Heron Of Mary
vile Mo-. are visiting at the home of
Frank Fritz.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
FUNERAL OF MRS. WISE
AT ET,DON TUESDAY

Eldon, Aug. -. Mrs Ida B. Wise,
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. ]. E. Hough-
land died Sunday, August 20, 1915. The
funeral services will be held Tuesday
afternoon at two o'clock at the Hough-
land home here.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
ELDON MAN DIES
AT VALLEY JUNCTION

Eldon, Aug. %. The remains of
Chas. Cross who died Sunday at Val
ley Junction will arrive here Tuesday
morning. The funeral services will be
held Tuesday afternoon at $3.50 o'clock
at the home of Mrs. ]. Ed Easton.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24

Tuition in the Ottumwa Public Schools:
For the ensuing year the tuition will
be in the high school SOS, in the grade
schools 500 Free text books will De
furnished tuition pupils.
J. A. Wagner, Secretary.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
PEOPLES PULPIT

yhs Courier Will publish In this
eoIsn,n articles contributed ~
n. readers. The communications
should bs typewrittsn or In plain
hand, on one side Of the papsr,
and sisnss. sss-ssslia. Al ySI!sS
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
DRAIN TILE
For prices and information write
.Morey Clay Products Co.
OTTUMWA, IOWA.
II ri Weekly Courier
cHANclNc ADDRESSES.

Subscribers wishing their address
changed will pl.a-e give the name OF
the postoffice to which the paper mas
been sent as we'll as the postoftice
where they desire 1t to be changed to.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-08-24
ANOTHER FLOOD
HITS MISSOURI

Continued From Page ~
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06
MINNEAPOLIS WOMAN
ESCAPES OPERATION
Mrs. Sinclair Finds Wonderful Rem.
edy In Time to Avoid
Knife.

Mrs. Sadie e. Sinclair of 41S East
Lake st., Minneapolis, suffered from
stomach arrangements for more than
six years. She became respondent and
hopeless. She feared she would have
to undergo an operation. Her COM
plexion suffered along with her gen.
eral health.
Then she discovered Mayr's Won
derful Remedy and took course of
treatment. The first dose brought re-
suits. She wrote:
"Only one dose and I slept like a
log. And I felt relieved right away.
If I should need any more medicine
you may be sure l will send for it.
1t is wonder one can be rid of such
conditions without pain. And my
complexion is clearing; they all speak
Of it was so yellow and brown be-
FORE
Mayr's Wonderful Remedy gives per-
manent results for stomach, liver and
intestinal ailments. Eat as much and
whatever you like. No more distress
after eating, pressure of gas in the
stomach and around the heart. Get one
bottle Of your druggist now and try it
on an absolute guarantee-if not salts
factory money will be returned.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06
AND PLATFORMS

A leading Republican daily in the
Twin Cities comes out for Colonel
Goethals for President, upon a plat
form declaring for Efficiency and
National Defense"
Col. Goethals may be all right as a
presidential candidate, although we
cannot recall anything in his past car
eer that especially fits him for that
position. Of course Efficiency" will
be written into the platforms of all
the political parties. 1t is stock
plank. Every candidate always stands
for efficiency and economy when he is
running for office and they all
straightway forget it after they are
elected.
We are of the opinion, however,
that a candidate who appeals to the
people on a platform of National De-
fense," if that means an enormous
and abnormal increase in the fortifi-
cations and armament and extrava-
giant expenditure in the way of war
preparation, that he will emphatically
be told where to head in by the SEN
sible American voters.
There was never less need for war
like preparations on the part of the
United States than at the present
time. When the nations of Europe
are through with the war that they
now have on hand, and heaven alone
knows when that will be, they will
not have any more stomach for fight
ing for the next fifty years. They
will be literally drained of both men
and money. Every day millions of dol
lars worth of capital is destroyed and
every foot of advance and retreat is
over carpet of corpses of virile man.
hood.
So dire is their future population
prospects that even babies of mesal-
lance are joyfully welcomed and I'M
chastity is condoned and encouraged
even by the best people if it results
in offspring and the husbandless
mothers are generously provided for
by the governments. The cradle and
the grave are being robbed for can
non fodder and the cradles must be
replenished or the nations will pass
out of existence.
With these conditions existant who
is going to bring war to our shores ?
National defense should be given a
long rest. The jingoes and dema-
gogues be accorded the silent treat
ment. The real mission of this Re-
public, for the next generation at
least, is development, construction
and up-building. We believe that our
nation has been Divinely selected to
restore to the world what war mad
dened Europe is so ruthlessly destroy
ing and restoring it in better, nobler
and grander form than ever existed
before.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06
A LOST ART

Senator P. ]. McCumber of North
Dakota, declared that Economy is a
Lost art" and seldom has a great
truth been more teresely and pithily
stated, especially as far as govern
mental affairs are concerned.
Not so many years ago the United
States could boast that it had the low
est governmental expense per capita,
and that it had the smallest official
force in proportion to it's population,
of any country in the world. This is
no longer true, startling change has
been brought about in this matter in
the last two decades. Now we are
burdened with the largest per capita
tax for governmental expenditures
and are loaded down with more public
officials in proportion to our popula-
ton than any other nation.
Old time writer's on political econ
omy laid down a maxim which they
declared to be an axiom: "The more
populous a jurisdiction, the smaller
the per capita tax for governmental
purposes within the same, and the
weather. jurisdiction, the smaller
taxation burden each dollar would
have to bear"
Our solons and statesmen have re-
versed this theory. Now we have a
larger population than ever before
and possess more wealth than at any
time in our previous history, yet we
have larger per capita tax of gov
eminent expense and each dollar of
wealth bears heavier burden of tax
alton than ever before.
This condition is due entirely to two
causes: Unnecessary public expendi-
lures; unnecessary public officials.
The remedy is simple: Make no ex-
penditures unless the same will yield
remunerative return and reduce the
official force to the number actually
necessary to perform the functions of
public service, working reasonable
hours.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06
Multiplying MEASURES

The limit of legislative siliness has
been reached in the anti-tipping
measures passed by several state leg
islatures last winter and seriously
considered by several others.
1t is not our purpose to defend the
practice of tipping; we don't believe
in it, although we have practiced it
to certain extent and probably al
ways will, law or no law, as will ev-
cry other red-blooded man who is not
a tight-wad or a crouch. The men
who are DANGEROUSLY demanding this
Legislation belong to the same class
as wealthy maiden aunt of ours,
who used to visit our family once each
year and at her departure would SOL
emily bestow a silver dime on each
one of the kids and impressively in
form them, "That if they would save
it till she came again, she would give
them each another dime"
The practice is as old as the human
race. From time immemorial men and
women have bestowed gratitudes on
eiiooS WhooC oCINlSCo pICdScu IIlcIIl VI
whose favor they wished to gain,
from kings down to bond-servants
Probably the largest tip on record
was the one bestowed on King Solo
mon by the Queen of Sheba. We are
told that: "She gave the king an hun
dred and twenty talents of gold and
of spice a very great store, and of
precious stones, and there came no
more such abundance of spices as the
Queen of Sheba gave to King Solo
mon."
The idea that a man can be re-
strained by law from bestowing a
gratuity upon another person is the
climax of absurdity. 1t is as ridicu-
lous as it would be to prohibit man
from smoking a cob pipe, having his
finger nails manicured, giving his
wife a birthday gift or wearing a
cloth hat. A jury would no more con-
vict man for tipping a waiter girl a
dime than it would convict him for
assault and battery for kissing his
wife; both are tips.
No greater manifestation of legis-
lation softening of the brain has been
presented than that of legislative bod
les, elected to settle grave questions,
frittering away their time in discus
sing and passing bills preventing the
sale of frogs legs by kids and for
bidding men to tip a chambermaid
with anything more valuable than
chaste lip salute.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

We have been challenged to find a
rhyme for the word "baby" and re-
spond thusly:
Sometimes we think the world is all
right,
And sometimes that it's all wrong,
maybe,
When we see young wife kissing a
dog,
That ought to be kissing baby.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The frank admission of Col. Roose-
welt that he accepted the nomination
and election to the Governorship of
New York, when he knew such action
was in fragrant violation Of the con-
stitution Of that state, is eminently
characteristic Of the man.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

If Solomon were presiding over the
Barnes-Roosevelt farce libel suit, he
would promptly dismiss the case with
out hearing any evidence, on the
grounds that nobody could say any
thing that would libel Barnes and that
nothing that Roosevelt could say
would constitute libel.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06
ADVISING FARMERS

Nothing is more amusing to real
farmer than to have a person who
never did a real days work on the
farm tell him how to run his business.
There are, however, certain things
connected with agriculture, such as
the chemistry of the soil, the COM
ponent parts of fertilizers, the ele-
ments of plant life that can only be
obtained in schools, so agricultural
colleges are necessary and agricultur-
al instruction should be given in all
the public schools, but after all the
only real way to learn to farm is to
farm. Theoretic farming alone is Wis
ionary, idealistic and Improbable and
unless supplemented by practical
knowledge, is valueless. Three quar-
tiers of the people that write farm lit
erature and who are paid high salar-
les to deliver lectures of instruction
to farmers would starve to death if
they tried to make living off farm.
We do not pretend to know any
thing about the practical details of
farming, but there are certain facts
connected with the business that are
matters of common knowledge, indeed
they are so we'll known that few give
them even a thought, and this un-
thinking causes much greater agri-
cultural loss than the lack of expert
knowledge. We never knew a farmer
to fail through lack of expert knowl-
edge, but we are acquainted with sew
eral who failed because they neglect
ed to do things that they knew ought
to be performed, which they did not
do by reason of neglect or forgetful-
ness.
This lack of thoughtfulness has
more to do with profit-lack in farm
ing than any other one element
Take two striking examples. Every
one is aware that it requires as much
soil strength to develop a weed as il
does stalk of grain, that a crop
acre entirely free from weeds and
foul stuff will yield twice as much as
one that is heavily burdened with the
same.
1t is common knowledge that every
seed planted that fails to terminate
is dead loss to the planter. He not
only loses his time in planting it, but
he loses the fruitage that a perfect
seed would produce. An acre of corn
planted in the usual manner, every
kernel growing and producing an or
binary stalk bearing an ordinary ear
would make over hundred bushels ia
the acre. An acre seeded to wheat
every grain growing and producing
an ordinary head, would yield over 80
bushels. Seed of all standard grains
If properly nourished, will reproduce
from thirty to a hundred fold.
The production of every acre OF
land in this county could be doubled
by the elimination of weed waste and
the loss resulting fro mthe use of de-
fectiVe seed
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

When men fill up with booze they
want to fight, but when they want to
fight successfully they keep away
from booze.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

DR.. Bergen, the Danish "Mark
Twain" who, with his wife, are tour
ing this country, declares that Amer
lea leads the world in every line of
human endeavor and then naively
adds that "The men are terribly I'M
der the thumbs of their wives" That's
the answer.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

If women did not admire mems
voices and men dote on stylish women
there would be no wicked men or
stylish women.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

1t is a common mistake that women
clean house to make the house clean,
1t generally looks worse after the OPP
Grafton that it did before.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

Look carefully after your own af-
fairs when another man becomes over
solicitous for your welfare.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

One of the things that has never
been explained is why it is so much
harder to dig for a gardn than it is
to dig for fish bait.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The Chicago Judge who ordered a
man to take his wife home and spank
her for got the maxim safety First. !"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

A preacher, who like Billy Sunday,
breaches a mans gospel, has no
trouble in getting men to attend his
services.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

We have registered some brilliant
and successful failures in times past,
but in our first essay as a dramatic
editor we .eclipsed all former efforts.
Everyone kicked about our write-up
of the "Hoosier Heroine" except the
plug hat. Even the setting hen
Suuaked.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

A woman never gets so old that
she does not look young when she is
rocking a baby to sleep.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The greatest woman problem is:
How can she disclose her new silk
petticoat and show her new silk stock
ings at the same time.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

There may be some doubt about the
chief end of man, but it is certain that
the chief end of woman is the one
she wears her hat on.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The man who knows the most sell
dom talks the most.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

An expert to be of value must ex-
pert the right way. An expert deer
tracker is of no value if he follows
the tracks the wrong way.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

A woman just loves to make garden
when she can sit on the porch and
watch her husband dig.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

If silk peticoats did not rustic, very
few girls would wear them.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

Honesty is the best policy, but the
pest policy isn't always honesty.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

A sucker never gets hooked, but h
lives on mud.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The man a child is not afraid of,
grown-ups need not fear to trust.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The farmer who grows weeds and
plants poor seeds
Is the one that puts up a squeal
About hard times, who lacks dollars
and dimes,
And owns no automobile,
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

There is one good thing about a
mule; he never kicks unless he has
something to kick at.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The wages of sin are always col
lected.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The highest compliment a man can
pay an article is to wish that he had
written it himself.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

If every pug would fight in the
same lady-like manner as Freddy
Welsh, there would be no objection to
pulling off boxing matches in church
parlorS.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

The less reliable concern is the
more glittering are the bargains they
offer.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

We have thought out a method of
settling the European War. Let the
contending armies line up against the
other and each individual soldier
shake dice with his opponent to which
one shall drink poison.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

1t is mighty hard for a man to see
the humor of a joke that is played on
himself.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

When married women get together
they bewail the lot of spinsters, and
when old maids congregate they
spend the time mourning over the
hard fate of their married sisters.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

A colored man down south was ar
rested for stealing chickens and when
asked how he came out at his trial,
replied: ode jury done went Demo-
cratic and acquitted me-"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1915-05-06

One of the funniest sights this
world affords is to see a grumpy old
sinner who never petted his own chill
dren, except with a paddle, being bos-
sed around by young grandson.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1915-12-16
Jennie lind's Salute.

There is a pretty story told Of the
honor Jennie Lind once paid to the
American flag. 1t was when she was in
New York, more than sixty years ago.
The frigate st. Lawrence had just re-
turned from a cruise, and the midship-
men went to hear the Swedish night
ingale sing at Castle Garden theater,
and the next day they called on her
in a body. Their enthusiasm and her
graciousness soon brought about a
visit to the ship and the acceptance of
a luncheon rendered her. When she
was about to leave the ship she look
ed up at the Stars and Stripes and
said:
II wish to salute your flag"
$50, standing on the gangway, she
sang "The Star Spangled Banner" ST.
lently from all over the ship men gath
cred with uncovered heads, until the
ships family was all assembled on
deck. Nor were they her only audi
ence, for borne upon the still air her
song had been heard by many other
vessels nearby, and when the won
drous voice ceased steamers blew
their whistles and exuItant cheers rose
from all sides and of loyal reverence
for the flag she had so beautifully sa-
luted.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1915-12-16
Just a Look

"My son." counseled Wynn, 'you
must be careful not to select best
seller wife. There have been more
domestic disturbances over the best
seller habit than over any other one
thing that know of!
when woman gets to reading
best sellers her own husband begins
to measure up pretty short. He can't
compare with a best seller husband,
In best seller woman can tell her
husband four or five pages of stuff
with just one look"
"Gee!" objected the sol. 81 should.
MT think women would like that ar
rangement-doing away with talk"
"They like it," explained Papa wy.
zun, because they can do more talk.
ing in a day that way than in any
other. If one look is equal to a couple
OF chapters they can talk volumes in
day! But man can't talk by looks.
when he comes home at night and
sees that there is no fire in the kitch.
en- stove, and that the kitchen bake.
pan is guiltless of any biscuits, he
thinks that there is something radi-
cally wrong, but he doesn't realize
that his best seller wife has been hav-
ins a seance with her soul. All he
sees is that there is nothing doing in
the way of grub.
"Then his wife gives him a look,
which ought to explain it all. But it
doesn't Her husband is mere cross
man with ferocious appetite. If he
is a model young man he doesn't make
a fuss. He even does little comedy.
He makes signs expressive of hunger.
Then his wife gives him another look.
That second look doesn't help at
ali. The husband merely asks for his
slippers.
"At that he gets sort of wither-
ing, sarcastic look, which seems to
say, Where are your slippers? What
a question! In the canary's cage, no
doubt, or under the house, or on the
piano.
"The husband begins to see light
at last. He goes out softly, leaving
bis best seller wife to her books. If
he captures a can of beans and a crust
of bread he is lucky"
"The only safe literature for wife
Is a cookbook" responded Wynn,
Jr."
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1915-12-16
His Precaution.

Mr.. Rouzier Dorceirese of Paris.
who has fought many duels and 6-
fected over 200 others, enjoys telling
the following story: Two gentlemen
who had decided to settle a quarrel
on the field of honor betooI them
selves with their second5 TO quiet
country spot, where they would be
free from reporters, photographers
and spectators, and where the only
witnesses would be some cows peace.
ably grazing in the field. While the
necessary preliminaries We're being
carried out the farmer on whose land
they were rushed up.
-EXcuse me, gentlemen" he said.
~but is it sword or pistol duel?"
"Sword. But what difference can
that make to you?"
"Well. you see, II It was with pis'
tolls, I'd want to take the cows In
Arst."