The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-04-15
ales of the Town

r is born.
: Absolute independence consists in
eating onions and not giving whoop
who knows it.
AS for JohnaArthur Johnson. il is
going to be awfully easy for The pub
lie to forget him.
"Slavs to Polish Heights" head
line announced the other day. They'll
undoubtedly use Dutch Cleanser.
Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife
could eat no lean,
Because they went without their meals
to ride in a machine.
From the way the price has been
soaring it is disappointing not to find
sprig of wheat Oh the new Easter
hats.
If you can't plant shade tree your
self on Arbor Day, you can at least
refrain from hitching hungry horse
to your neighbours.
1t was bad enough when they put
the steam roller into politics. Now
they seem to have put the steam show
ell in to throw mud with.
4 4
DR.. Wiley, the noted health expert,
estimates the value of human teeth AT
$1,000 each We could name several
hundred Emmett people each of whom
would be willing to trade couple
Of perfectly sound molars for motor
car.
al don't see why you call your place
a bungalow" said Smith to his neigh
Dor, according to the Ladies Home
Journal. "Well, if it isn't bunga-
law what is it," said the neighbor.
1.-THE job was bungle and | still owe
for it."
In Nevada on one of the motor
highways is the town of Razine, a
blacksmith shop and four houses. On
a big sign just outside the place this
legend appears: "Razine. Speed Lin
it One Hundred Miles an Hour Do
Your Darndest."
"John," demanded the wife of her
intoxicated spouse, chow did you get
that cash on your forehead?" Guess
| must a. bit myself" "Bit YOURSELF"
.scornfully. GLOW could you bite
way up there?" "Guess /
must a stood on a chair"
DR.. Harvey W. Wiley in a recent
lecture, told his audience that there
was more good than evil in kissing.
Doc is a great and good man, but he !.
is just trife slow. The information /,
he brings us has been known out in |,
his country for some little time.
A man sued another man al 7
eging that he had called him a hip y
oopotamus six months before. "Why
lidn't you begin 2ction six months
lgo instead of waiting until now"
,sked the judge. 81 never saw hip
,opotamus until week ago." replied a
he complainant. :
"Boss, dis yuh toof am MIGHTY nigh y
.illin' mep walled an old darby. "How d
much will it cost to have de blame II
hing pulled out?" FIFTY CENTS" re- e
lied the dentist But loogy yuh, "
ahl hasn't got but quawtah to 81
,ah name. KANT yo'-all pull it out &
alf way for dat?" m
e al
"Walter jones'" said the teacher hi
.ernly, "you are not attending to the 81
,sson. Did you hear Jessie Smiths tn
escription of the American product. ba
ominy?" "Yes'm." replied the small ca
by glibly. "All right, then. Give L.
e sentence in which you bring in
lie word correctly" With the cour- I'M
re of despair Walter replied: "Ho- we
my marbles have your" no
q 4 2
"Now, Silas," said the speaker, 81 it
ant you to be present when deliver dir
is speech" "Yassuh." 81 want you To
start the laughter and applause. cha
very time | take drink of water arr
u applaud and when | wipe my fore sid
ad with my handkerchief, you
ugh" "You better switch dem sig
Is, boss. It's heap mo- liable to
AXE me laugh to see you standiH' cir
thar deliberately takin' drink O. we
,ter." hat
4 4 = Ev
The employer of Polish girl who the
S learned quickly to speak English haC
lis of her attempted mastery of the wa
ephone. After its use was ex- Ola
aimed to her, she was eager to an fri'