The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-12-05

trator for these weekly bits of literature. However, the indoor ice skating scenes are quite picturesque and marvelously popular is the sport today.
 Of course, if one doesn't care for ice skating, that lets him out, but here one must skate, dance, run or go at some pace faster than the ordinary walk or he is soon left in the lurch, and my idea has always been, for some req son, that the lurch is 8 very bad place for any one to be left in.
 There are also the great shows of this season. of course. And they are indeed numerous, filling pages of the daily press with advertisements and reviews, but not always filling the house al which they are to be seen. Yes. many show gets well billed and goes busted on and near Broadway
 It has just occurred to me that some loyal southerners reading these ar ticles, may {. be sitting scornfufly in judgment upon the views set forth at tlmes, when I feel more kindly toward Broadway, and saying to himself that his own main street in the dear old home town has attractions just as good as those of the worlds greatest high way. Ah. but my friends, have you the privilege, along Main street, of paying s2 nightly for a picture show ? Can you part with $5 bill for the chance to witness high class bur- lesque arrangement, and then walk to the nearest restaurant and get rid of about $15 or S25 more just for an aver age after theatre supper? The latter feature may be among your main streets possibilities but there are still other easy ways of spending money along Broadway which, not being de Maupassant, nor having the broad scope accorded genius, I am not privi- legged to set down here in detail But they are there, and they are a part of the general lure of the thorough fare.
 And the spending of money seems to be a great privilege here. Why, we think of the poor farmer with pity there on the farm with so little to spend his money for foolishly Of course, when he comes here, then it is our pleasure to show him how best to get rid of it for the least possible re- turn. Tn other words, initiate him into . the delights which the wise" New Yorker enjoys and clings to up to a certain length of time. And that time is generally limited to the length of his purse. There Is a sort of unwrit- ten law here to the effect that a man Is to be accepted in good faith until his money gets low enough to force him to attempt touch." I have seen good friends of one evening become nonspeaking .acquaintances of the next morning as a result of an attempt to touch" sAeft ts #RFsF ~ ss
 If one's funds are exhausted it is per- fectly ethical and permissible to steal more, but do it cleverly and in large packages, or the end is about the same. But don't attempt to touch if you care to retain your generous opinion of mankind and belief in the good in all people,
 These stories about handsome women ..-Y- I ners and dinners for these partners of how they present we'll filled purses to certain types of young men may be true enough, though I cannot say positively, never having had the ex- perience. Of course, there are many types that might attract that kind of money and that sort of maids, but I'll venture to say that Abraham Lincoln never had such experience either. (You see, it is the fashion here to "hate" ones-self, therefore, the foregoing should be acceptable).
 Have you heard anything about this Hip Hip Hooray show at the Hip podrome? Well, it is about the best yet In fact, it is now claiming to have brought that worlds largest thea tre back into it's own. The Hippodrome, on account of it's magnitude. was once visited by many transients, upon whom it largely depended. It announced great spectacular entertainments, and had them. Then came time when the management believed that it could get away with less expensive productions, so on went the movies there, with a few embellishments in the way of songs and scenes This soon proved a failure. The people had heard of the Hippodrome as great show place, but if it was only movie playhouse they T Ix~tk Co., CN h.p ( %< the big thing, and it is getting by with it splendidly. Yes, really that is quite true, though I know it is worth a few passes. And they are things no one refuses in this little city.
 N It is somewhat surprising fact that as large as this city is, its streets are cleaner than those of any other I have seen. Of certainty they are litter ed with dead bodies here and there in the immediate wake of automobile and other accidents, but these little things will occur from time to time, and have come to be accepted without denur save by those directly and indirectly effected.
 When we say, shall we cross Broad way here?" It is as one should say, "are you ready to join me at the west ern or eastern front?~ If the other party is game for the undertaking, they start forth. They may or may not make it, but such action is often neces- sary,. and one must not deduce from this that each of us who crosses the street is a hero or a heroine.
 It has just started drizzling snow (does 1t really drizzle" snow?) and the temptation to glide softly into q set of verses or lot of rhymes anent the fall of .'the beautiful' is becoming 50 overwhelming that 1t were best to end this installment before becoming trite. bromidic and all the rest of it.
 However, we did manage, after all to get no further away from the subject than Fifth avenue, and we didn't finger long on that street-couldn't, 1t costs too much, and besides there are trenches-I mean street intersections at certain Fifth avenue points that even a neutral hero would hesitate be- fore storming.
 How silent the customary noises of the street have grown. How soothing Is the soft thud and roll (but recently a rumble) of the traffic, and how gently. almost caressingly falls the snow the beau--yes, 1t Is really the psychological moment to write "finis.''