davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1915-01-21
The Natural Kind.

what kind of ships do they have
dog watches on?"
why, banks, OF course"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1915-01-21
The soft Coal Question.

lis she blonde or brunette?"
Il don't know; met her in Pitts
buIgh. Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1915-01-21

Man Is made Of dust which RAY 40
count for his wanting the earth.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1915-01-21
Their Use

DO you see where the Futurists
land Cubists have gone to Spain?'
Maybe they use their pictures on
the bulls to infuriate them in the
ring"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1915-01-21

Many great man is never heard OF
20 miles from home.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14

Miss Lilly Noel was quite successful
with exhibits of fancy work at the
Hopkinsvile and Paducah fairs AT
the former Ne was given ten and at
the latter three first premiums. Dam
vile Messenger
Mrs. j. S. Johnson, Miss Charlie e.
more and Mr.. Bruce Pollitt have re-
TUNED from Louisville where they at
tended the lnterdenominational State
Sunday School convention. While in
Louisville Mrs. johnson visited her
sister, Mrs. Armp Elkin.
The following sbcial affairs were
given in honor of Mrs. Rockwell Smiths
recent guest. Miss Nora Kennedy of
Greensboro. A reception by Mrs.
Smith. Rock party bS Miss Tommie
Francis, Sewing party by Misses
Jane and Mary Doty, a reception by
the Misses Gill and also a reception by
Miss Emma Doty.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
VOTE FOR tom BALLARD.
For Sheriff
For Sheriff

To the voters Of Garrard County,
II is generally known that the late
Curt A. Robinson was elected sheriff
Of Garrsrd county by one of the largest
majorties ever given any man. and
that George I. Ballard Jr.. was his
chief deputy, George I. Ballard ST.,
his father. being partner with Mr..
Robinson in the emoluments or fees of
the office If Mr.. Ballard is elected
for the two years. vet remaining Of the
term, he Is pledged. and justly so, 10
give the widow of Mr.. Robinson half
the profits or fees Of the office, which
as certainly belong to her as any pro
perty he left her. The truth is, an Of
flee is a most sacred property right. be-
ing bestowed by the people, the high
est authority, and il would be the gros-
sest injustice 10 deprive the holders Of
such property Of their rights IL is
not believed that the voters Of Garrard
county will overlook the principles Of
justice and equity in this race. II The
office belonged 70 Robinson and Ballard
before Mr.. Robinson's death. the re-
mainder Of the term belongs to Ballard
and Mr.. Robinson's widow.
II the voters will calmly consider
this, as a matter of right and justice,
they will not recall or revoke what they
have done. and Tom Ballard viii be
elected BY an overwhelming majority.
Adv. Fair Play.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
FARM LAND--2O YEARS TO
PAY.

Fertile farms in Western Canada
offered by the Canadian Pacific Railway
Company. Productive soil. good eli
mate, ready markets. fine churches and
schools. unexcelled transportation, all
eonveniences and opportunities of best
farming districts anywhere. Prices
Sll to $50 an acre; irrigated land from
S35. Loan of 81, 900 TO assist practical
farmers in irrigated districts. Twenty
years to pay-or sooner at your option.
Long before your final payment is due
your farm will have paid for itself.
Also some improved farms with houses,
barns. wells. fencing etc. ON the same
favorable terms. Interest in all cases
only 6 per cent. This offer is based on
good land We offer these terms because
we know farmer on our lands can be
successful" he can live well and save
enough TO pay for his farm. Western
Canada lands are naturally suited to
growing grains, folders. vegetables.
dairying and raising horses. cattle,
hogs. swine, poultry. Cash in on the
high grain prices. Don't delay: the
best land will be taken FIRST Write
today for free handbook and full in
formation to Mr. r. b. Thompson.
District Representative, Canadian Psc-
fife Railway, Department Of Natural
Resources, ll2 W Adams ST.. Chicago
Illinois. l0,l4-4t.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
DAKOTA JACK

The Northwestern Cowboys Great
Indian Remedies still creating big ex-
element and big sale still continues
all over the country
HAD TO GIVE UP HIS TRADE
Bristol, Tenn.
To all who suffered as | have for the
past 20 years have had bad stomach
trouble. 1t seemed that everything
would eat would hurt my stomach. |
would have smothering spells and al
most die. had a good trade running
a linotype machine and worked at this
10 years and finally had to give up my
trade on account of my stomach-k was
so weak. Four years ago. to make
matters worse. became afflicted with
rheumatism, which completely put me
out of business. have tried all kinds
of doctors and medicines. Nothing
would do me any good, so was getting
worse. Seventeen days ago began
taking DAKOTA JACKS INDIAN
AAGANDp dhh INV ditl lndnhlul " say
my rheumatism is all gone. | eat any
thing | can get and any time | can get
it. Last night after eating supper ate
half of blackberry cobbler pie and it
never hurt me at all. If | had done
this four weeks ago would have died.
| am feeling fine and working now and
sleep at night hike baby. It's won
derful. and hardly know how to thank
DAKOTA JACK for putting his RENE
dy on sale at Turner's Drug Store,
where | obtBined it.
Yours for good health.
w. I. GALLIHER.
Better known as Murphy,)
Headquarters for all of Dakota JACK 8
Indian Remedies. Where you get a
bottle u DAKOTA JACKS COWBOY
FREE with every $l,OO
as days treatment
j. Z. STORMES DRUG STORE,
r. E. McROBERTS DRUG STORE
LANCASTER. KY.
BOONE SANDERS General Store,
KY.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
BUYS ANOTHER.

James Hatcher, who has the mail
line TO Lancaster, on Saturday pur-
chased handsome new Overland au-
tomobile to be used in his work Mr.
Hatcher Will now have two machines
TO haul passengers. and will make a
specially Of carrying passengers on
Sunday and TO other cities. he is a
very obhging Official and quite popular
on his route. over which he has been
carrying the mail for many years.
Mrs, Hatcher often runs the machine,
and is really 'the boss" Of the BUSH
ness. Danville Mess snger-.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
T0DD--C0LLINS.

Miss Eliza Todd of this city and Mr..
]. O. Collins of Louisville. motored to
Danvile on last Thursday and were
united in marriage Rev. H. C. Gar
rison, the Christian minister officiating.
The bride is the attractive young daugh
ter of Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Todd. and
a recent graduate of the Lancaster
High School. while the groom is son
of DIR. Charles Collins of Louisville and
served years in the United States
Army. having been for wears in the
Philippines.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
REVIVAL SERVICES.

The services which began at the
Methodist church last Monday night
conducted by DR. Pike, mention Of
which was made in our last issue. is
increasing with interest at each service
and indications point to one of the best
ever held in the city by this
The singing is one Of
the features Of the meeting which will
c intinue for several weeks.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
VERY GRATEFUL.

Judge NJ. d. Hughes is very grateful
for a commission he has just received
from Governor McCreary appointing
him a delegate to the seventh annual
of the Southern Commercial
Congress. to be held at Charleston, S.
C. on the IL to II day of December next.
Should his health permit, Judge Hughes
hopes to attend this convention.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14

Mrs. Anna Bailey spent Sunday in
Stanford with relatives.
Mr.. Coils Harmon Of Florida was a
guest at Hotel Kengarlan for several
days.
Mrs. j. NJ Casey is at home from a
visit to Miss Gertrude Wilkerson Of
stanford.
Mr.. and Mrs. Samuel Jennings and
children spent Sunday with relatives in
Paint Lick.
Misses Mittie and Mary Lee Dunn
were the weekend guest Of Master
Louis Broaddus.
Mrs. w. A. Price and daughter, Miss
Mamie Stormes Dunn were visitors la
DanvIlle Saturday.
Mr.. Edgar Coson was popular
young visitor in Lexington from Sat
urday until Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs II. Clay Hamilton and
Mrs. Halle Hamilton Dunlap .motored
to Lexington Saturday.
Mr.. flames Tucker and family Of
Crab Orchard have taken up their
residence IN Lancaster.
DR.. and Mrs j. j. Pursley and Mrs.
Stella Sanders Perkins will leave this
week for a stay in Virginia
Mr.. and Mrs. Ed Ballard Of Stanford
motored over and spent Sunday with
Mr.. and Mrs. Hayden Leavell.
Miss Bessie Chapman of Nicholas
vile is the guest of Mr.. and Mrs. j.
Hogan Ballard at Bryantsville.
Professor and Mrs. d. w. Bridges.
and little sons were guests Friday of
Professor and Mrs. NJ. l.. Cancer
Miss Jennie Duncan is at home after
visit of several days with her sister,
Mrs. Charlotte Warren of Stanford.
Miss Bessie Turner of Psynes Depot
who has been with relatives here for
several weeks returned home Monday.
Mesdames w. B. Mason and W. X.
Cook are at home alter pleasant visit
to Mrs. Roy Asa Haynes of Hillsboro,
Ohio.
Mrs. Marshall C. Denny entertained
the Woman's Presbyterian Missionary
Society at her home on Lexington
Avenue.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Ball and bright !
little daughter Margaret, were recent
visitors of Mr.. and Mrs. Bohon Camp
bell of Stanford.
Mrs. Chas Dearinger and children of |
Richmond returned home Wednesday
after pleasant visit to their cousin.
Mrs. l.. Manuel.
Mrs. Herbert Price and sister, Miss
Mary Goodloe Lackey of Denville were
up for shert visit to Mrs. ID. NJ. |
Lackey and daughter.
MIR. ard Mrs. Sam Helm Of Huston
vile. Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Rankin of |
Danvlle spent Saturday and Sunday |
with Mr.. and Mrs. Hayden Leavell.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. C. MeElhannon
left Thursday for Atlanta Ga, for
visit IN his naranfg after a nlpaganf /
visit with MIR. and Mrs. j. A. Jones.
Miss Ida May Grant returned Satur-
day night from a visit of weoAs TO
her aunts, Mesdames S. M. Gates Of
d. c.. and Frank Moore
Of Norfolk. Va.
Reverend L. L. Pickett. Methodist /
minister and prohibition candidate for
governor delivered temperance lecture
to a good crowd Sunday night at the
Christian church.
The first meeting of the Chsuqauqea |
Circle was held at the home Of Mrs. |
Frank B. Marksbury on Danville street.
After business meeting inviting re-
Treatments were served.
Mr.. Gowen Bourne Of Lancaster, has
entered the Danville Business School
for the slll course. The graduates of
this school are taking high rank in the
business world. Danville Advocate.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
BURDON-COBB.

Mr.. Merritt Cobb, of lower Carrsrd
and Miss Jennie Burden, of Jessamine
county were united in marriage at the
residence of Mr.. j. /. Hamilton in this
city last Monday morning, Rev. Bell,
pastor of Pleasant Grove church Of
floating. They were accompanied by
Mr. and Mrs. N. P. Cobb. the former
being an uncle of the groom.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
GETS NO PAY.

The new law on the assessment of
dogs is very strict and provides a
severe penalty for the owners of dogs
who fail to list their CANNES. The law
also imposes strict regulations upon
the assessor and forces him to list
every dog. The assessor, however, is
not allowed any pay for assessing dogs.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14

Mrs. X. b. Wilkerson is in Stanford
for visit to relatives.
Mr.. w. J. Romans was in Cincinnati
for business stay of several days
Mrs. Breathitt Brown has returned
from 10 days stay at Elixor Springs.
Mr. ard Mrs. II. ID. Frye of Hubble
spent Sunday with Mr.. and Mrs. j. o.
Bogie.
Mr. and Mrs. Ed Hays Of Louisville :
are here and guests at the Gulley
House.
Mrs Jas. II. Witt is at nome after a
recuperative stay Of 10 days at Elixor
Springs.
The Chautauqaa Circle met Tuesday
afternoon at the home of Mrs. Fred
p. Frisbie.
Mr.. and Mrs. S. d. Murphy of Liberty
were weekend guests of Mr. and Mrs.
j. o. Bogie.
Mrs. Sarah Hurt is at home after a
pleasant visit to relatives in Lexington
and Danville.
MIR. Paul Hilton. of Paris. is here for
a.few days visit TO his sister, Mrs.
Maleom House.
Miss Eliza lson of Bryantsville is
visiting her sister Mrs. W. A. DECKER
son and family.
Mrs. j. G. Carpenter and daughter
Miss Josephine of Stanford were visit
ors here Tuesday.
Jesse Arnold Of Frankfort was called
here by the critical illness of his father
MIR. W. A. Arnold.
Mr.. and Mrs. Luther Foley of Lex
ington motored to Lancaster for visit
TO Miss Sallie Tillett.
Mesdames Lilly Holtzclaw and W. c.
Withers of Lincoln were recent guests
of Mrs. Anna Bailey.
Mr.. and Mrs. Samuel Johnson are
being congratulated since the arrival
of a son in their home.
Mr.. Ed Price left this week for
visit to his cousins Mr.. and Mrs. w. C.
Price near Winchester.
Mrs. VIM. Elliott and little son, are
at home after a visit to Lexington,
Richmond and Frankfort.
Miss Lucy Joe Msrsee of Paint Lick
spent several days last week with her
sister, Mrs. Mack Turner.
Jack Best has returned to Wichita
Falls, Kansas, after visit with Lam
caster and Garrsrd relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jack Doty of Lexington
were guests from Saturday to Tuesday
of Miss Lena Bright and Master Gayle
Doty.
Miss Leila Beatty was called to Rich
mond by telegram announcing the
sudden death of her brother Mr.. Frank
Beatty.
Mrs. j. Rockwell Smith and little
daughters will leave soon for Danvile |
to visit her parents Hon. and Mrs. C. /
c. Fox.
Friends will regret to hear that Miss |
May Powell. student at the Richmond |
Normal was so unfortunate as to sprain I
her ankle.
Mrs. Ike S. Dunn and daughters.
Misses Laura and Mary Lackey. have |
been visiting her parents, Mr.. and Mrs |
j. ID. Gulley.
Misses Clara Collier. Anna and |
Katherine Middleton and Mary Gray
of Crab Orchard were recent shoppers I
in Lancaster.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. $. Carpenter and 1
son. j. T Of Versailles returned home I
Sunday after visit of two weeks with |
relatives here.
j. o. Bogie has returned from Louis T
willie where he went 10 consult a stom- /
ach specialists and has been confined TO .
his room for several days
Lieutenant John Paul Miller. wife I
and bright little son left last Friday for
a visit to Louisville, after which they /
will go to New York. to visit Mrs. /
Miller's relatives.
The Annual Silver Tea will be held
at the Presbyterian church on the
evening Of the 10Th. Not only are the
members invited. but others as well,
as these affairs have proven enjoyable
occasions.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
Reward.

Will pay liberal reward for the re-
turn of overcoat and bear skin rug.
stolen from my buggy on Depot street
last Saturday night.
Walter Flannery.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
For Sale.

One double Gaar-Scott Sawmill with
80 and Sc inch inserted tooth saw. The
saws are new. One Is II. p. Geiser
sawmill engine on wheels, in A shape
carrying LIS ID pressure. Will sell on
terms to suit customer.
Leslie T. Bradshaw.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
YOUR CHANCE.

Charlie Bohon, of Lebanon will be at
W. B. Burton's mule barn next Tues
day morning to buy army horses and
mules. Those having such stock for
sale should have,them there on that day.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
Money To Loan.

Money in sums of $1,000, or over at
5 per cent to loan on farming land in
Garrard County. Write or phone,
E. ID. Pennington.
9-9-6t Stanford, XIV
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
Coal, Coal

Lay IN your coal while it is cheap.
We sell Red Ash Jellico and Red Com
ct Block, Straight Creek and Ideal Jel-
lico round Special price this month.
If. VI. B. Northcott
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
9-9-6t
Wanted.

1000 bushels hickory nuts. 1900
bushels chestnuts, 1000 bushels wal
nuts. 1000 bushels hemp seed and ten
cars of hay. Bailey & Moss.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
Tobacco Stalks.

Wanted to buy tobacco stalks. Write
G. F. Vaughn Tobacco. Lexington, KY.
stating number of acres and nearest
shipping point. l0-l4-3t
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
YOU'LL. FIND 1T IN THIS COLUMN.

Repairing clothes is a knackish pur-
suit, so let Kirk the tailor repair them
Phone 76:
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14
5 IL per ct-Money- 5l-2 per Ct
5 80 Years - S

Loans made on real estate. If you
need cheaper money on long time, see
me about it.
G. B. Swjnebroad,
2-l8-tf. Lancaster, XIV.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14

Wanted all kinds of junk, Iron,
Bones, Rags. Rubber and all old Brass.
link and Copper.
II. b. Northcott.
The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1915-10-14

We sterilize your clothes while press
ing them. killing all disease carrying
germs. Kirk the Kleaner.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-27
OIL BLAZE SET
ON U. S. WARShlP
Discovery Deepens Mys-
terry of Attempt to De
stroy OklahOma.

PHILADELPHIA, July 26.-Additional
mystery surrounds the fire on the
superdreadnought Oklahoma July 49, at
the New York Shipbuilding Company 5
nlant. in Camden. 1t leaked out to-
dav that the damage to the vessel was
caused. not by slowly burning cork as
announced, but by fiercely blazing OIL.
The fixtures in forward turret No. 2
N which the blaze was confined. were
melted into fantastic and unrecognizaole
sbapes. Deck plates were buckled and
hent. and the entire framework OF the
turret so damaged that it will have TO
be replaced.
An investigation Immediately after
the turret was emptied Of the water
numned into smother the blaze showed
that Joint in an oil feed pipe had
heen unscrewed with evident dellbera-
ton so that a thin flow of oil grad
uallv saturated the deck lining OF the
rurret. and lay in puddles on the moor,
making a roaring furnace OF the IN
closure once the fire was started.
That the blaze may have been set
nv an employe of the company rs the
belief Of officials. Pending investlga-
tion. night work on the battleshlp has
been suspended.
Several hundred foreign workers at
the plant, most of them Austrians. who
had been employed in the night shift.
have been transferred TO day work.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-27
LeelanaW Was Returning
from Archangel Trip

The Leelanaw was an American
steamship. registered in this country
and owned by the Hardy Steamship
Company. an operating concern .or
Harris. lrby g. Vose, of 10 William
Street. A. II. Bull & Co., of Bridge
Street. representing the Bulllnsular
line were agents for the vessel. The
steamer was undoubtedly fyirg the
American flag when she was torpedoed,
those interested in her declared yes
terday. d
Delk. OF the Leelanaw, received by
Harris. Irby e. Vose last night from
Kirkwall, contained the first official an
nouncement the owners had OF the sink
ing of their ship. 1t read;
@I.oelanaw torpedoed yesterday
Whole crew landed Freight insured.
Archangel to Robert Harris. Advise
crews families"
The Leelanaw was formerly named
the Earnwell, and was built in Eng
land in 1886. She was 2SO feet in
length and 80 feet beam, and was re.
Gently fitted with oil burners. Most OF
her ocean career was passed as cot
TON carrier in the Pacific trade. She
onre went ashore and was on the rocks
a year before she was relocated and re-
haired. She became an American
pyned and registered vessel several
A. the Offices of the Hardy Steamship
Company il was said that last summer
snd fall the Leelanaw made severa
Continued on page 2. column -
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-27
HORSE KIDNAPS BEAR
CLOGS FIFTH AVENUE
Dobbin and Bruin Cause Trafhc
Tangle That Pursuing Patrol
man Finally UnravelS.

With a Gagged bear bouncing in the
wagon, a driverless and brdleleSS
horse tore into Fifth Avenue from
Twelfth Street yesterday afternoon
He brought up with his nose pokine
vainly for place to wedge into the
northbound traffic stream, while the
bear growled. |,
An unlucky backward glance by a
curious chauffeur and the whole traii'c
of the avenue was jammed with the
bear at the centre of the tangle;
Patrolman Edward Hughes, VINO hau
chased the runaway from sixth Avenue
and Thirtieth Street. seized the, plunggcc
inc horse. The animal freed himself himself
and s started down the sidewalk. Hughes
pinned him against the, fence ar4una IN,
the 7. F. Ryan home, and suoGueu ,,tft n'i','
William McCann, driver OF the outht'
came along and resumed his inter-
rupted trip TO New Jersey.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-27
BALTIC, IN PERIL
OF U.BOAT, SAFE
White Star Liner Escapes to
Liverpool-Submarine Be-
lieved Sunk.
(By Gable to The Tribunel

London. July 26.-After being shad-
owed by a submarine, which it is be-
lieved was subsequently sunk by a
British ship, the Baltic arrived safely
at Liverpool at 9 o'clock this morn
ing from New York. When the pas
sengers reached London this afternoon
thew were all full of the submarine
story. Only one, however, Arthur Plss-
kidd. of New York. asserted that he
actually saw il.
81 was on deck about o'clock on
Friday evening" he said. 1--WE were
then nearing Fastnet. | saw the sub
marine distinctly, about half mile
away from US, coming in our direction.
It must have been seen that moment
by the lookout, for our course was i'm
mediately changed. believe we must
have kept that course, zigZagging until!
we almost made Cornwall.
"a few minutes after | noticed the
submarine saw British torpedo
boat destroyer coming from the north.
She seemed TO me to be chasing the
submarine. Anyhow, we saw no more
of the latter"
DR.. Smith, Of Winnipeg, said that
most Of the passengers were having
dinner when the submarine was sight
ed and Therefore scarcely any had the
opportunitysto see 1t.
81 was told about it later by ships
officers" he added They said il was
heading straight for US, but the tor
pedo boat intercepted it,"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-27
MRS. G.. w. c. DREXEL
PUSHED OVER BANK

Islesboro. Me-, July 26.-Mrs. George
W. Childs Drexel, Of Philadelphia, who
has summer home at North ls!esboro,
narrowly escaped death when she was
pushed over a forty foot bank over
hanging jagged rocks by an unknown
assailant on Saturday afternoon. Mrs.
Drexels life was saved by her clothing
catching in the branches of tree few
feet below the top Of the bank. She
hung in midair until her cries brought
rescuers, who hauled her back to
safety.
Mrs. Drexel was walking from her
cottage to an observatory overlooking
Penobscot Bay when she discovered
that she was being followed by a
strancer, She turned and started
hack, As she passed the stranger he
suddenly pushed her over the edge OF
the bank. s..-.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-27
KISS RESONATOR
WARNS GIRLS PA
Joshuas Invention Records
Osculatory Sounds in His
Daughters Vicinity.

Stoyestown. Penn, July ga kiss
resonator- that's the invention OF
Joshua Conkling Reeves.
Necessity, some one said, is the
mother of invention. Joshua is the
father of three perfectly kissable
daughters. Men called on them some
times. Joshua felt his parental re-
sponsibility, so he invented the reso-
nator.
1T ketches and increases sound,
Joshua explains. when there is any
kissin' gon' on in the parlor the sound
floats through this machine and | hear
it all, but much louder. Jist common
kissin' on the cheek or neck sounds
like a B. & O. train going over Turkey
Foot Crossin', and long huggin' kisses
are like the wind BLOWN in November.
Good night kissin' sounds like cannon
shot.
What ! need now Is a machine that
will tell me what to do about it."