The Monroe journal., 1915-07-20
THE HoGwALLow NEWS.
How Dock Hooks Wanted to Help
Busines>-Fish Won't Bite ON sun
day-The Wonderful Record of the
Wild Onion school Teacher.


Busines>-Fish Won't Bite ON sun
day-The Wonderful Record of the
Wild Onion school Teacher.
BY Dink Bolts. Rebular Correspond
ent.
While business is so dull. Dock
Hooks. our tonsoOrial artist. has been
endeavoring TO induce lobe Moseley
TO have his whiskers cut on.
The corners OF the foundation IN
der the Hog Ford church are miss
ing, and Columbus AllsOp and Atlas
Peck. two pillars OF the church. have
been appointed a committee to hold
up the building until the foundation
can be replaced
Miss RoySola Moseley came 10
the pOStoiliee yesterday expecting a
letter ard was so disappointed al
not getting one that she let her
mule 90 in a slow walk all the way
home
The protracted meeting at the
Dog Hill church has wrought a Won
derlul change in this community.
Even the FISH will not bite on sun
day now. and a movement has been
started to stop Gender creek from
running on the Sabbath,
Sickness has about died out in this
community.
Tcbe Moseley has been hauling dirt
and putting il in the bottom OF his
pond this week, in order to make the
water rise high enough for his geese
to swim.
Ellick Hellwanger has snapped for
a new pistol and it is believed that
he is preparing to shoot a man as
soon as he can get his witnesses to-
gether.
Little Fidity Flinders got hold Of
Mrs. Isaac Hellwanger's hat the 9TH
er day at church and devoured sew
eral punches of the artificial cherries.
Staying with thing may tend to
make something out of that thing.
but Mrs. Sim Flinders does not be
lieye so. as she has remained with
Sim now for going on thirty years.
The congregation of the Hog Ford
church was thrown into a spell of
nervous excitement last Sunday
morning through the careleSsness of
the preacher. During the sermon a
fly lit on the preachers nose and
the congregation expected any minute
to see him shoe it Off, but he neglect
ed to do so. and very soon the crowd
rose up in fit of nervousness and
the preacher was not allowed to con-
tinue until the fly had moved.
The Wild Onion school Teacher.
While it is not good policy TO
laud any public man at less than
regular advertising rates. on account
of the possibility of jealousy arising.
we feel it our duty to say something
in favor of the Teacher of the Wild
Onion school. There are many shrewd
men in our midst. but none who can
hold candle to the subject of this
sketch. He has gradually grown to
be smart man, and, like all other
self-made persons, he started out at
birth without knowing anything at
all. The Teacher is a gentleman OF
very keen foresight. and had he
thought about it in time he might
have become a great detective Fol
an illustration. two weeks ago he
learned. through some mysterious
source that the school building had
become infested with heas. Where
they came from he could not tell. but
they probably got in one night when
the door was left standing open. Not
to be daunted by them or their de-
termined conduct, the Teacher i'm.
mediately launched a campaign to
rid the premises of their presence
and after having tried several kinds
of patent flea exterminators with nc
apparent avail he hit upon very
happy plan which eliminated in
great success. The Wild Onion
school is very popular over large
scope of country, and the teacher;
plan was to get the people aroused
over some public question, and ther
call mass meeting at the schoo
building. Fearing this might caus,
arguments to arise. he dropped tha
idea. and instead, arranged a bis
basket supper to be held in tht
building on the coming second Sat
urday night. and invited everybody
within several miles. The house, o
course. was filled to overlooking, anC
the evening passed off with the bes
of order and when the throng depart
ed they took with them. not only thu
best wishes of the Teacher. but ais,
all the feas without knowing il.