The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-07-29
OFF AGAIN
ON AGAIN
By Strickland w. Gillian.

The car that you viii buy next-I heck
she Is a pcachi
She has the latest gimleks on, a twelve
foot-six-inch reach.
She has a hood \ fathom long.--in fact
there's nothing new
Or up-to-datc--or further stiil-your
next-year's car won't do.
This year. Of course, you've got TO buy
a shackiy bunch Of tin
A common. Gravity road-iouse with a
lot Of ratslcs IN.
But next yca7-then Is when you'll
have the bully bunch IN bank,
And you can buy the dandy boat that
never saw a crank
The car that you will buy next year
has vases for bouquets;
Has leather cushions two Feet deep. a
stove for chilly days;
Has eighty horses hid beneath her bon
net all the while
The car You'll buy next season has
your this-ycar's beat a mile
This Is tic only trouble that the
shrcwdcst can detect
The finest line OF argument has often
ono defect;
The one big obstacle 10 which my spirit
aye succamhs
Is that il always stays this year.
that next year" never eomesl
THE UTNEY.
The jitnibus Is a regular automobile
that has become militant.
II Is an amateur motor car turned
professional.
Il runs IN towns where the street
q service has been rotten according
10 popular opinion.
And there arc no other kinds Of
towns.
They do not run in Chicago. because
nobody expects to have convenient
transportation there.
Have YOU ever stood on Adams
Stree, near the w. X. union station
and waved all day Tuesday for a car
that runs only every other Wednesday,
II gives one a shivery feeling 20 feel
ones transfer expiring in ones hand.
When u begins 20 turn cold one is in
clined TO drop il
| have often had rigor morris set in
on a transfer al almost any street in
tcrscction IN n great western metrol-
hpus where Satan and Sunday 60 20
.he mat.
This is the answer TO the question,
why is the jitnibus'
The jiinibus IS not a permanent IN
stitution every place.
As soon as the street railway scrvice
Is improved, people will quit riding in
the buses and the cars will stop run
ming.
IN ON towns the spirit Of seventy
six will live longer. ard the Boston
teaparty will go on quite awhile.
There are many answers TO whence
comes the word jiineyi' and none Of
them is right.
WHAT 1T MEMS.
The matter Of local option usually
resolves itself into the query, Am !
my brothers Oar keeper"
HflfMELf lust THINK or IT.
Il would he an awfully rude and un-
chubby thing II some one were 10 drop
a bomb N The Hague peace hut,
wouldn't u?
THEIR REdL USE.
A real use has been discovered for
aerop'anes and ether skycraft in this
VIZ war TO hight each other.
SIZE HAD BEEN TO 4 MUSICAL
COMEDY
What Is the uame Of that half-drclc
OF lights right above the stagci'
Wis. you musi mean the obsccrium
arch"
SOMEBODY ANSHER MN
DO they eall them variety shows
because they're all alike
R B s.
DOESN'T THIS VAR DRAG
dLONG THOrGHY
Want Al 81 a Keokuk newspaper
some mortls .iuce:
WANTED Rclly-to-wcar saleslady
Fine opening
FINNiGIN FILOSOFY
TIL non that TURNS sta-ate's iyidince
ar' rits free is niycr very proud az
his freedom. bccorry
ms RECOGNIZED WEAKNESS
Judgc-What q, pcskad0rc's rcpu
tatiuu for truth and ycraci'ys
Witucss.-AIl right. from the FIRST Of
October o. c1tig April
Judge Why not after carly hpril'
Witncss-Thc fishing season begins
then.
ISN'T IT CONFUSING'
Hc-l-vcry woman knows n Is easy
90 trump tp a charge OF breach q
promise against any prominent man.
Shc-Ncs, and every prominent man
knows II Is easy o. make q breach Of
promise suit By a comparatively un-
known woman appear Ike hlackmIil.