South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-08-04
YOUTHS OBJECT TO
THIS NEW INVENTION
New Application of DiCtograph
Said to Detect Kisses May
Be Made at Columbus.

COLUMBUS, Ind, Aug. 4.-Colum-
bus young men are all worked up and
it is small wonder. A report is in cir
culation here that a Pennsylvania man
who has invented a kiss detector, is
seeking a location for his factory in
Columbus. and that the chamber of
commerce has his proposition under
consiL GRAFTON. Whether or not this is
true the officials Of the chamber de-
cline to say. The young men hasten
TO make their position plain. They
say they have no personal interest IN
the m&tter, but they feel that such an
institution would be a violation of the
old tradition, or unwritten law, that
all is fair in love and war. This APP
pears to be a war on love.
The Pennsylvania man, so the story
goes here, has three young daughters,
and each daughter has several admir-
ers. Pa got notion in his head that
some of these young men were kissing
| his daughters. He sat around the house
singing Il Wonder Who's kissing Her
| NOw?' and nobody answered Ma got
TO thinking about it and so they just
naturally up and asked the daughters
whether or not the young mon were
kissing them. The daughters stood on
their constitutional rights to the effect
that one need not answer a question
that tends to incriminate one. Pa said
he allowed these young fellers were
kissing the girls on the slightest provo
cation-as well as on the lips" The
girls did not say anything. They just
looked at each other and blushed.
So pa decided to invent a device and
when he completed his work he had
as many wires as a European war
barbed wire ENHANCEMENT and
"thingamajig" that represented glO-
rifed and magnified photograph. He
called il a kiss detecter, and he says it
detects the slightest kind of a caress.
According to the inventors story.
slight kiss on the cheek is magnified
through the machine until it sounds
like somebody tossing a brick through
a plate glass window. A real old
fashioned soul kiss, right on the lips,
resembles the noise made by a giant
pulling his arctic OVerShOeS out of the
mud. Even hugs are recorded as
quick grab usually causes the maiden
to gasp and the detecter is right there
in keeping tab on the gasps.
The inventor insists his machine fills
a long felt want. He points out that
any father whose home is equipped
with one of these machines can sit up
stairs in his sock feet, read the even
ing paper and not worry about what
Is gong on down stairs. Right beside
him is the automatic recorder, and it
keeps track Of the whole performance
Whenever pa has sufficient evidence
he goes down stairs and says some
thing like this:
See here, at a quarter after eight
you kissed Jane seven times on the
cheek. Then you got a little holder
and you kissed her in the mouth. You
begun that at eleven minutes to nine
and you kept it mp until both of you
were out of breath Then YOU tried
little huggin' at six minutes after ten
and it took you forty-five minutes to
say good night"
There are not many young men who
could face that kind Of a charge and
not feel they had OVerstepped the
bounds a trifie.
Naturally a good many places are
said to be bidding for the location OF
the factory that will manufacture
these kiss detecters. Some places have
offered the inventor a bonus. il is
said Just what steps have been taken
here have been kept secret But the
matter leaked out and the young men
are up in arms. They are afraid that
if they are not up in arms now the
young women will not be in their arms
very much of the time in the future
because no one will be able to tell who
has a detectOr in the house and who
has not. 1t certainly is causing a lot
of talk.