The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1915-07-22
YE CARL SUSTAiNS PAINFUL injuries
The Cub Reporter Falls From a Run
ming Automobile

ming Automobile
AS the result of news greed, Ye
Carl, the reportorial wizard of The
Commonwealth, lies in his Ill '<trum-
mel' bed this week suffering with
fractured right arm and body bruis-
es. It happened something about
like this: Carl had been nosing
around the Mayors court during
the breakfast hour, missing his ini-
tial meal deducing evidence on two
or three alleged blind tigers whom
the authorities had "cuffed" await
ing their trial.
After noting on several pieces Of
parchment that war vernaculars
term scraps of paper" what had
taken place and what his keen news
sense had anticipated would in all
probability take place, Carl, the
scooper, oblivious of the fact that
The Commonwealth would not go to
press before Wednesday afternoon,
scurried away from the temple of
justice as fast as his molly little
"footsies' would carry him.
But, 10, friend feet were entirely
too slow; he just needs must swing
onto the running board of the Case
car driven by Mr.. Robert Josey, in
order to get the story typed up in
time. Mr.. Josey, who was then in a
hurry to meet the morning north
bound A. c. L. train, stepped on the
Cases tail and she was off in blaze
of speed-Carl still clinging to the
running board with pad and pencil
hand.
AS the powerful petrol monster
rounded the corner Of Depot and
Main street the young reporter for
getful Of the speed Of the car in his
anxiety lest. his story grow stale
with a few more revolutions Of the
wheel Of time, sprang from the
racing Case as The Commonwealth
Office was passed.
Billie Walston, the proprietor OF
the Walstcn Tonsorial Parlor across
the street from the newspaper office
for the first time in twenty years
gashed the man he was shaving as
Carl thudded the sand-clay one BLOCK
up the street from the place he triel
to ahght from the car Gentle
reader will note that Monday WASH
a good day for speeding, either)
Of course it wasn't q regular, hon
est to goodness, cross my heart
hope-to die earthquake, but, on the
square, Mr.. Bobbie Jyner, who wa
inhaling the aroma Of King Nicotine
from the bowels Of "44" cigar tw,
blocks away, stated positively tha
old terra firma did quake mildly a
the exact time that Carl embraced
Old Mother Earth. We offer Mr.
Jyner's testimony to this extraor
dinary statement, because we know
that the "subs" to this paper vii
give credence to anything tha
comes out Of that part of Mr.. Jy
ner's face that the smiles emanat
: from.
However, we are DEPRESSING. Dr.
A. D. Morgan, who was in tn
| neighborhood Of the accident, wa
at once summoned. After maxim
: d careful examination of Carl's hu1
places, found that his writing han
was limp and useless. The woun(
ed newsman was then ambulance
home and his arm set and slung.
knowing Carl fidelity to the p;
n per and his mania for news, sever;
of the chocolate milk boys, have il
: timated that the jealous young r
porter purposely imperiled his Iii
and sacrificed corporal pain for t
sake of a long green news stol
with Carl in the center of the type.
. The last reports from the Fit
patrick home on Main Street sta
u that both Carl and his broken ar
3 are doing nicely
c
- Eamcon EfO.nc