Omaha daily bee., 1915-09-04
Grammar
T. L. n. in Life.


THE man who invented grammar is unfortunately.
i dead He probably died a natural death, because
at the time the enormity Of his offense wasn't
realized He certainly never got what was coming TO
hlm In those days nobody could understand how
much damage do to posterty.
This IL the that Shakespeare undoubtedly had
IN mind when he wrote The evil that men do lives
after them"
OF all the superfluous ind, ,tries Of the present
time. any be said TO approach grammar? Con-
slider the countless women and professors who are
earning living by teaching It. Consider the manu-
facture OF text books grammar II is really awful
to contemplate such vast structure And then con-
slider how utterly useless IL for any purpose
whatsoever and you get, like flash, sudden
laton OF the marvellous stupidity OF the human
Nobody ever a healthy. normal, naturally
bright boy girl who had any for grammar
Nature knew its business when It made 1t impossible
for the grammarians to grab baby before he can
speak and teach him grammar first They would
unquestonably. II they could, make him learn all the
properly constituted baby would want 20 speak
anyway lit would argue that II merely telling what
had to be done by fixed schedule like timetable,
as IL IL government affair. why bother about
talking at all?
The grammarisn would get the baby and say:
Now. my young friend you will soon be In a
position to the word mamma First you must
get firmly fixed in your mind that mamma is a
noun. You must also ask yourself what is its num-
Der? It's gender? What does II presuppore and CO
ordinate? Has II any objective infintve and what
is Its adverbiai complement? Is it governed by any
particpal. prenatal predicate? Also draw diagram
showing the word mamma in its relations to the
antecedent. To the relative pronouns."
Fortunately, no grammarian do this Provl-
dence probably interviewed Babies compelled to
learn how speak before the grammsrians get hold
of them that these gentlemen cannot utterly spoil
them afterward for practical purposes Hence our
best writers have risen above insidous grammar and
frankly confess they know little about it and care
less
There are many devoted people who firmly eeve
that political economist represents the lowest form
OF human intelligence. We respect them for their
opinion. There g. indeed much TO be said In favor OF
their view. But give the grammarian. For
thing there grammarians than there
political economists so that considered by
volume. the grammsrians have the best of II. Then.
again, the grammaran is active and a
broader field and everybody TO have a more
sublime confidence in his unintelligence.
One OF the most curious paradoxes in human life
Is that nobody would take the time or think It
worth while to dispute the word OF a grammarian
yet grammar is accepted matter OF course just
as II IL had remote bearing on poetry. drama
and other real literature II unfortunately happens
that the teaching OF grammar as IT is practiced in
our schools makes everybody who is abormal hate
sincerely and cordially II this otherwise and
and IL got TO be attractive. like the movies for
example, think of all the additional harm It dol
At present we have come to accept it endure It
without question and without knowing the reason why
But our better instincts still survvl who knows
but that the day will when by popular edict
every grammarian will be compelled to give up his
present job and go out and earn an honest living?