The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-15
TALKING AS A TEST
By MARGUERITE GAsToN

Have you ever thought how many things are told when we are talking? l am not thinking of gossipy tea parties partic- ulary, nor yet of those more cherished hours in which we give each other our condolences by the firesde. Perhaps it is just what is known as general conversa- ton. casual. talk that l have in mind.
 Most of us do treat. general conversa- ton very casually both in regard to the way we listen to and share in it. Profound thinkers have told us that we are afraid of silence; that only be- tween two perfectly attuned spirits can any rate, most of us talk a great deal And we labor under the delusion that so long as the awkward silence is avoided it doesn't much matter what we say.
 No one remembers. Why, we don't re- member ourselves what it was that rather pleasant woman talked about the other day on what would otherwise have been a tedious railway journey, nor yet what it was Aunt Susan enlarged upon l last time she paid her formal call. Yet this is a very superficial way of | looking at it. Every time We speak we re- veal our thoughts, but what if our own individual manner of thus playing hide and-seek betrays us?
 1 Directly we look at the face of strang- CT we received an impression, consciously or unconsciously, of his or her general de- meanor of the vivacity of the look, the mobility of the features.
 1 Then, when we wish to find more solid ba sis for our hastily formed opinion we are no longer content with the external j, view and desire to get into conversation. l lrr-- H. f- |. L1-+ xr that has yet been found of ascertaining what is in his mind. In conversation the sound of our interlocutor's voice, the fiex- iblity of its intonation, the fineness of l it's shades are all elements that tend to confirm or weaken the opinion we have 1 formed.
 We are much influenced, also. by the de- gree of attention he gives us, for we are all moderately certain that our remarks are worth listening to--if not remember ing; his quickness to grasp our meaning pleases. even flatters, us; his replies, which partially anticipate what we were
 going to say, prove delightful; by such
 various details in the course of conversa- | ton we do something more than estimate the intelligence of the speaker; we de-
 eide whether we are going to like him or
 not. (The reverse process may be easily 1 ina gned.)
 After all, it does matter what we say.
 doesn't it? Or at least it matters how
 we say it.
 And again, in regard to that little mat
 ter profess of the attention we give other speakers. We are often reminded that
 good listeners are rare. They are also
 wise How can we know anything about l human nature, profess to be any sort of 1 judge of character, if instead of listening
 to what is being said to us we are plan-
 ming our own next remark or impressive
 speech, or are pondering how best we can l bring the conversation round to some
 event or connection the revelation of | which we foollshly imagine may cause us
 to rise in our companions estimation? l If our fellow talker be anything of a judge, if he ever knows the world he lives in, how sadly have we let ourselves down
 in his eyes! But of course these people
 who are guilty of the more serious of- lenses are usually quite unconscious of
 them, and are not sufficiently sensitive to I notice the degree less of warmth in the
 other persons tone when the reply comes. They never knew that their talk has be- trayed them. that out of their own mouths | are they condemned,