The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-03-25
Tales of the Town

~ lHdJ BetS lHunueT loI uOiiiS itS uuI.
+ well.
s An automobile doesn't have to b,
o very fast to keep ahead of your in
! come.
2 An advertising suggestion for {
r barber: Satisfaction or your whis
e kers back
5 A Detroit physician says there is
: no such thing as collie. What, we de-
: mand to know, is his stand on beyyl-
: ache?
A man is quoted as saying: "If you
want to go to heaven, pay your bills,
advertise in the local paper and see
that your wife goes to church.
= 2
A gold mine in the Cripple Creek
district sold few days ago for Az
million dollars. But what does a man
with Az million dollars want of
gold mine?
"Too bad about Bill losing his wife,
wusn't it," remarked the sympathetic
neighbor to the old crouch. "Gosh,
yesl" replied the crouch. can arter
him a-having to winter 'er, tew."
q q
you're terribly severe in your re-
ligion, Donald. suppose you think
we're all going to perdition and no
body will be saved but you and your
minister" "I'm not so sure o. that,
said Donald thoughtfully "Ye ken,
| whites haze me doots ABBOTT the min
ister."
A couple were discussing a certain
store that was having bargain sale,
he in defense and she the negative.
"Say, look at this pocketbook.
bought it for a dime almost year
ago. Not worn bit" he said "Well,
that's because you don't take it out
of your pocket enough she said, and
the argument was closed.
& 4 &
A lawyer by the name of Strange
was about to die and he requested his
wife to put a headstone over his
grave with the simple inscription:
Here lies an honest lawyer" His
wife expressed surprise that he did
not wish his name on the headstone.
1T is not needed" said the lawyer,
for those who pass by and read that
inscription will invariably remark:
That's Strange
After shaking hands at the depot
he other day one man inquired of
mother: Didn't you marry the Wild
w Jones the first of January ?"
1 did, was the answer, "but I've :
eft her" "Why, how's that?'
Well, the first week she called me
'oney, the next week she sulked
round and called me old Richards, :.
he third week she come for me with !,
flat iron and I've kinder got bunch :
he don't like me-" :,
A widow and maiden were talk :
lg. 81 was first married when / was =
ute young said the widow. my =
usband died and had him cremated. :,
n about two years | married again; =
e died and | had him cremated =
iarried third time and lived to have :"
i'm cremated." "Ah," answered the
alden lady, wonderful are the ways 8
Providence. Here I've lived all
lese years and never been able to be :,
arried to one, and you've had hus- =
ands to burn" -
1t is reported that the following
,te was recently received by one of u
ie deputy game wardens: "Dear ser: Sc
don't wanter this sorter licents. l oil
lot was gettin' a Marriage licents, pi
lmbudy sent Me to mr.. - and said -
-
! would gimme licents. Mandy was &
} mad when got back with this here :,
lntin' licents she would not have Me,
lie said | didn't have sents anuff to A.
t marriage licents, SO she ups and -
ms off with bill Johnson and Am in 49,
hel of fixt. wants my money back
1less this hear licents will let me
loot bill johnson. yours most truly. -
am Jackson 81
An American and a Scotchman were -
alking in the Highlands, and the
;ot produced famous echo. When
e echo returned clearly after nearly ba