Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
lhe OleV6

Strange as 1t may seem there are
many men, who, while eminently sue
oessful In the business world, yet
yearn to hold positions of q cher
acter widely at variance with their
chosen yocations. We know Of a
banker who wishes he was an auto
mobile salesman; a railroad man who
longs to be q hotel-keeper; pugilist
who laments because he is not pro-
fessional dancer and a playwright
who wants to be a policeman.
ii
We ourselves are not immune from
the fever of restless hungering for
something that we can never be. For
years a dream has ratified around in
our brain cells without any possibn-
ity of its ever being fulfilled.
We want to be a cigar-store Indian.
s.
Nearer and nearer comes the hour
when the battle at the hustings Will
decide the fate of suffrage in New
Jersey. If the gentler sex pull
victory out of the fracas let us hope
that they will make no inroads on
the personal liberty of mankind.
Let them not abolish the practice
of the male of sitting with the feet
on the top of the mantelpiece, just
because a real lady should not do
such a thing. Let them not abrogate
the inalienable right of a husband to
chew tobacco In church, or to beat his
wife II she hard-boils instead Of
shirrs the eggs for the morning
meal
Let them not decide that straight
should rank higher than a flush. or
that a sport shirt should be washed
once week. Neither should they
interfere with the pastime Of waxing
the moustache, because its ends tickle
their ears or with the indoor sport
of consuming a noggin Of Scotch
with q rye chaser.
Let them not insist that we drop
our pipe ashes into the cuffs Of our
trousers to save the Louis Quinze
sun parlor drugget, or cease to toss
olive pits into handy jardinieres when
visiting friends. Nor should they
ask that one keep the coat Of the
dress-suit on the back when enter
tanning the president of the visiting
plumbers at banquet on a hot sum-
mer night.
Let them not enact a law provid- |
ing that all husbands who stay out |
later than g. m. should be required |
to pass a written examination, as a |
test of their mental capacity before
entering the house. Let them not |
elect an Adonis-like dancing master
president of the United States, or
demand that picture Of the family
be taken in a group.
Let them not agree that those who
talk the loudest win the rubber of
bridge, or that castor oil is remedy
for all Ills.
Bring Your Own Faucets, Stopper. Soap
and Towel.
(From the Lakewood Citizen.
FOR RENT-Four rooms and bath un-
furnished, 81 Clifton avenue. Apply at
Bhinn's Grocery Store, Ocean avenue.
II
Tho Sieve has solved the problem OF
national defense, without even wait
ing to be asked. There is just one
way by which 1t can be accomplished
safely, sanely and economically. Not
cent need be appropriated by Con-
gress. Just have all the newspapers
announce that tho United States has
a feet of 2,547 submarines along the
Atlantic coast and a smaller flock of
2,546 submarines lurking around the
Pacific shores. No foreign nation
can disprove this statement and
the welfare Of the nation is assured.
Il
We ask no recompense for saving
the United States. We are sufficient
ly paid. We got two paragraphs out
Of it.
Il
Three to be exact.
IT.