davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
INDIAN HAD SENSE OF HUM0R
At Least Enough to Get Of Good
Joke on the Cross-Examn-
ing Lawyer.

From Fenimore Cooper and other
authorities we have gained the i'm
preston that the Indian is a stolid,
severe individual, with no sense Of
the white mans humor, but one red
brother showed himself quite a civ
lied joker the other day in the Unit
ed States court at st. Paul. He was
a witness in a holly contested case,
and a lawyer was after him in the
most approved style to cast discredit
on his testimony. After apparently
frightening the Indian with the awful
consequences which would follow the
slightest deviation from the truth the
lawyer solemnly said:
Now, sir, want you to tell me the
exact truth, without any shutting or
evasion. want you to look me square
in the eye and tell me how you get
your living?"
The Indian looked straight at the
lawyer and, with that grave air ia,
miliar to all acquainted with the red
man, simply said: Eat"
The courtroom roared and the law.
yer let the witness 60.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
When Greek Meets German.

A Companion subscriber, jealous OF
the claims of the classic languages %
superiority even in the length of the
words the ancients could upon occa'
sion invent, writes thus:
II notice that the Companion says,
No one can compete with the Teuton
in word joinery.' But what do you
think of the following word that you
can find in Liddell & SCOTS Greek
lexicon? OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
k NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
ossuphophattoperisteralektruonopte 6
neutrality-suspicious. siraiobaphe t
raganopterugon' The meaning is "A
dish compounded Of all kinds Of dam
ties, fish, flesh and fowl That is Ger
tainly an elaborate way Of saying
hash."-Youth's Companion.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
ENDS DYSPEPSIA,
INDIGESTION, GAS
"Pape's Diapepsin" cures sick,
sour stomachs in five minutes
Time It!

aeally does put bad stomacbs IN
order-"really does" overcome indiges.
ton, dyspepsia, gas, heartburn and
sourness in five minutes--that-iust
tnat-makes Pape's Diapepsin the lar
gest selling stomach regulator in the
world. If what you eat ferments into
STUBBORN Jumps, you belch gas and
eructate sour, undigested food and
ACID; head is dizzy and aches; breath
foul; tongue coated; your insides filled
with bile and indigestible waste, re.
member the moment "Pape's Diapep-
SIM comes in contact with the stomach
all such distress vanishes. It's truly
astonishing-almost marvellous, and
the Joy is its harmlessness.
A large fifty-cent case of Pape's Dia.
pepsin will give you hundred dollars
worth Of satisfaction.
It's worth its weight in gold to men
and women who can't get their stom.
achs regulated. 1t belongs in your
home-should always be kept handy
In case of sick, sour, upset stomach
during the day or at night. It's the
quickest, surest and most harmless
stomach doctor in the world.-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
IF HAIR IS TURNING
GRAY, USE SAGE TEA
Don't Look Old! Try Grandmother
Recipe to Darken ant Beautify
Gray, Faded, LifeIess Nalr.

Grandmother kept her hair beauti.
fully darkened, glossy and abundant
with brew of Sage Tea and Sulphur.
Whenever her hair fell out or took on
that dull. faded or streaked appear
ance, this simple mixture was applied
with wonderful effect BY asking at
any drug store for "Wyeth's Sage and
Sulphur Hair Remedy" you win get a
large bottle Of this old-time recipe,
ready to use, for about so cents. This
simple mixture can be depended upon
to restore natural color and beauty
to the hair and is splendid for dan.
druff, dry, itchy scalp and falling hair.
A well-known druggist says every.
body uses Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur,
because 1t darkens 80 naturally and
evenly that nobody can tell it has been
applied-it's so easy to use, too. You
simply dampen a comb or soft brush
and draw it through your hair, taking
one strand at a time. BY morning
the gray hair disappears; after an.
other application or two, It is re-
stored to its natural color and looks
glossy, soft and abundant. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
CAL0MEL WHEN BILIOUS? MOI! STOP!
ACTS LIKE DYNAMITE ON LIVER
Guarantee "Dodsons Liver Tone" will Give You the Best pr
and Bowel Cleansing You Ever Had-Doesnt Make You sck

Stop using calomel! 1t makes you
sick. Don't lose days work. II yo4
feel lazy, sluggish, bilious or consul
pated, listen to me!
Calomel is mercury or quicksilver
which causes necrosis Of the bones
Calomel, when it comes into contact
with sour bile crashes into it, breaking
it up This is when you feel that aW'
full nausea and cramping. II you leei
all knocked out" if your liver is t@'
pid and bowels constipated or you
have headache, dizziness, coatea
tongue, if breath is bad or stomach
sour just try a spoonful of harmless
Dodson's Liver Tone.
Here's my guarantee-Go to any
drug store or dealer and get a 5O-cent
bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone. Take 4
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
she HAD MET The dub"
Nice Young Chap Probably Regretted
His Somewhat Unknd Char.
acterizaton.

At a dancing academy dance the
otaer evening nice young chap was
introduced to a perfectly dandy girl
she was young, sympathetic and wise
70 all the steps, and the kid fell for
her at once. Then she said:
You're awfully nice to me, but
can't you introduce me to some Of
your men friends around here?'
We'll, don't know anybody except
that funny-lookjpg dub over there in
the corner. He and l belong to the
same lodge. Did you ever meet him?'
Indeed l did-years ago. He used
to come and see me a lot-brought me
flowers and candy, and all that"
He did? That old guy? Well,
didn't think it was in him! This'll be
a Joke to tell to the other fellows.
How did you shake him at last?"
Married him. Come on over and
I'll Introduce you."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

spoonful and if it doesn't straighten
you right up and make you feel fine
ana vigorous l want you to go back to
'ne store and get your money. bod.
sons Liver Tone is destroying the
sale OF calomel because it is real liver
medicine; entirely vegetable, therefore
1t cannot salivate or make you sick.
l guarantee that one spoonful of
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean your
bowels Of that sour bile and consti.
pated waste which is clogging your
system and making you feel miserable.
! guarantee that a bottle of Dodson's
Liver Tone will keep your entire fam.
ny feeling fine for months. Give it to
your children. 1t is harmless; doesn't
grippe and they like its pleasant taste.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
QUIT MEAT IF KIDNEYS
BOTHER AND USE SALTS
Take a Glass of Salts Before Break.
fast II Your Back Is Hurting or
Bladder Is lrritated.

II you must have your meat every
day, eat 1t, but flush your kidneys with
salts occasionally, says noted author
lily who tells us that meat forms uric
acid which almost paralyzes the kid
neys in their efforts to expel it from
the blood. They become sluggish and
weaken, then you suffer with a duh
misery in the kidney region, sharp
pains in the back or sick headache,
dizziness, your stomach sours, tongue
Is coated and when the weather is bad
you have rheumatic twinges. The
urine gets cloudy, full Of sediment, the
channels often get sore and irritated,
obliging you to seek relief two OF
three times during the night.
To neutralize these irritating acids,
TO cleanse the kidneys and flush off
the body's urinous waste get four
ounces of Jad Salts from any phar.
macy here; take tablespoonful in a
glass of water before breakfast for
few days and your kidneys will then
act fine. This famous salts is made
from the acids of grapes and lemon
Juice, combined with lithia, and has
been used for generations to flush and
stimulate sluggish kidneys, also to
neutralize the acids in urine, so 1t no
longer irritates, thus ending bladder
weakness.
Jad Salts is inexpensive; cannot in
jure, and makes delightful efferves-
cent Whitewater drink.-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
Out of the Fryino Pan.

David Starr Jordan, at peace meet.
ing at the Hotel Astor in New York,
said to reporter:
Half the world at war, and the
counsel We are getting is that we
must arm more heavily. That counsel
reminds me of the African kings
"An African king feasted white ex,
plorer royalty. Then, at the end of
the feast, 300 girls were led forward.
Choose from among these 3OO,'
said the king, a wife
But the explorer blushed and STAN.
mered:
oh, but If took one, then the re-
naming 299 would be Jealous
That is easily remedied,' the king
answered. Take ALL"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
A Splendid Chance.

Turkey raising Is an arduous bust.
ness,' said a wholesale poultry dealer
Of Baltimore. DAY and night you
must look after your birds the same
as you look after horses.
California turkeys are very fine.
They are very we'll taken care of. It
is no snap to work on a California
turkey farm, tell you.
u was visiting California Turkey
farm last month when a boy applied
for Job.
your references are good. I'll try
YOU said the farmer.
"'Will have a chance to rise, sir?'
the boy asked.
Yes, said the farmer, a grand
chance. I'll want you to have the feed
mixed by four o'clock every morn
ing. Washington Star.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
PHYSICAL WRECK RESTORED
TO HEALTH BY GREAT
KIDNEY REMEDY.

I feel it my duty to furnish you with
my testimonial as to what your remedy
Swamp-Root did for me when l was Z
physical wreck from kidney and bladder
trouble.
Some years ago I was not able to
do any work and could only just creep
around and am satisfied that had it not
been for DR.. Kilmers Swamp.Root I
would not have lived After using tho
preparation for one month l was able To-
work some and when I had used $500
worth of Swamp-Root I could do good
days work. l used about $1,000 worth
altogether and would not take $4,000
for the good that it did me. l consider
it Godsend to suffering humanity for
the diseases for which you recommend
it and have recommended it to many
sufferers.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
Some Hint.

Hello, Blank! Where are you 60.
ing in such hurry?"
ITO the post Office to put up kick
about the wretched delivery service"
Whats the trouble?"
why, that check you promised to
send me ten days ago hasn't reached
me yet"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
Letter to
DR.. kilmer q Co.
BinghamtOn, NY,

Prove What Swamp. Root Will Do For You
Send ten cents to DR.. Kilmer + Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y, for a sample size
bottle. 1t will convince anyone. You
will also receive booklet of valuable in
formation, telling about the kidneys and
bladder. When writing, be sure and men
ton this paper. Regular fifty.cent and
one-dollar size bottles for sale at all drug
stores. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
II Puzzled Him.

Silas-I hear your son left that
small town and went to the city to
have larger field for his efforts.
Hiram-Yes; and that's what gets
me. When Hank was home a two
acre potato patch was too big field
for him.-Judge.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Many actions, like the Rhone, have
two sources; one pure, the other i'm
pure.-Hare.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Beautiful, clear white clothes delights
the lsundress who uses Red Cross Ball
Blue. All grocers. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
RUB.MY.TISM

Will cure your rheumatism and all
kinds Of aches and pains-Neuralgia,
Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts,
Old Sores, Burns, etc. Antiseptic
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

For thrush, cleanse and dry the foot
and make thorough applications Of
Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Wounds cleansed by Hanfords Bal
sam. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

It's as easy to begin loafing as it is
hard to stop.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Nothing equals Deans Mentholated Cough
Drops for Bronchial weakness, sore chests,
and throat troubles-6c At al Druggists.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
Just Punishment.

MIS-. Hemmandham - his paper
says q woman burglar was identified
by two missing teeth.
Mr.. Hemmandham-Serves her right.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Everywhere in life the question is
not what we gain, but what we do
Carlyle.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
N. L. HUGGINs.

Welch, Ark.
Personally appeared before me this
10Th of September, 1909, N. L. Higgins,
who subscribed the above statement and
made oath that the same is true in sub.
stance and in fact.
W. A. PAGE, J.P.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
Dancing Men in Demand.

Dancing Men in Demand.
I'VE never knew what to do with
grandpa before"
And now"
He'll be big help to us socially.
We're having him taught all the new
steps,
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Narrow minds think nothing right
that is above their own capacity
Rochefoucauld.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Maori women, formerly cannibals
now vote in New Zealand.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Some family trees need frequent
spraying. Toledo Blade.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

Worry kills more people than worn
because more go up against 1t.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

lmportant to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that It
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05
Reliable evidence is abundant that women
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound

The many testimonial letters that we are continually pub
fishing in newspapers of them-are all genu
ne true and unsolicited expressions of heartfelt gratitude
for the freedom from suffering that has come to these
women solely through the use of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.
Money could not buy any kind of influence obtain
such recommendations you may depend upon that any
testimonial publish is honest and true- you have any
doubt Of this write to the women whose true names and
addresses are always given, and learn for yourself.
Read this one from Mrs. Waters:
CAMDEN MI sick for two years with SPELLS and
my kidneys were affected had doctor all the time and used
avanc battery but nothing did good Twas able go
to bed but spent time couch in sleeping chair
became almost skeleton Finally my doctor went away for his
health and husband heard Of Lydia Rnkham Vegetable
am like new woman and am at usual weight recommend
your medicine every and does my T1m
WATERS $50 Mechanic Street, Camden, NJ.
From Hanover, Penn.
HANOVER Pal was very weak woman and suffered from
bearing down pains and backach had been married over four
proved excellent remedy for made well After
taking few bottles pains disappeared we now have one Of
the finest boy babies sawMrs RCKRoDE RED,
No. 8, Hanover, Pa
Now answer this question if you can. Why should
woman continue to suffer without first giving Lydia E.
Pinkhams Vegetable Compound triall You know that
it has saved many others-why should it fail in your casel
For 80 years Lydia E. Pinkhem's Vegetable G>s&ssA
Compound been the standard remedy SNAEA9
male ills. No one sick with woman's ailments N/<NM
mcn; medicine made from Roots and herbs 1T i SK
has restored somany suffering w0mentO heath. ~
9ss sSEcs
by . woman and held in strict confidence.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-02-05

LESSON TEXT-Ruth 1918. Read en-
tire book)
GOLDEN TEXT-Thy people shall be
my people. and thy God my God.-Ruth
lie.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1915-01-21
Purchasing Power Of Farmers.

The purch asing power of the
farmer depends not only upon
the money value of what he pro-
duces, but also upon the money
value of what he buys. From
1899 to 1909 Census years. the
money value of l acre of the
farmers crops increased To- per
cent, but in the same period the
money value of the articles usu-
ally purchased by farmers had in
creased IL. l per cent; consequent
ly, as result of the greater in
crease in the price of what a
farmer sold than in the price of
what he bought, the net increase
in the purchasing power of the
produce of | acre was 54 per cent
more OF the articles usua y
bought by farmers than in 1899.
Upon the basis of the purchas-
ing power of the value of l acre
of produce, the year 1909 stands
as the most prosperous for farm
ers of the past so years for which
there are records.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1915-01-21
Movable Institute School.

The 8, 9, 10, and II of Febru-
ary have been selected as the
days for Fulton county's share of
the movable school under the
auspices of the Department of
Agriculture. The Farmers Asso-
citation of the County had hard
work to influence the Department
to let this county have as much
of it's time as we are entitled to,
and now that four days are to be
devoted to the very best interests
of farm life as found in this Sec
ton of the state, we sincerely
hope that all within driving dis
lance will turn out and show
their appreciation of the privilege
When this school was held at
Needmore last year there were
great crowds in attendance. Any
slackness on our part to attend
will prove to Needmore that we
need more than Needmore, and
we cannot think of permitting
Needmore to think that we need
more than Needmore. The school
is not for Cove farmers alone.
1t is for the benefit of the Coun-
ty. Nor is it for men alone.
Mrs. Hannah Mex Lyons will be
present every day to see that the
mothers. daughters and sisters
get their share. Th e farmer
farms for the purpose of making
a home, and the better the home
the better farmer is he. The en-
tertaining instruction is especial
ly intended for young men and
young ladies'. There is nothing
to pay not even a collection. I"
Make arrangement to attend ev-
cry session. If you have a per-
picking question, write it on a
slip of paper, drop it into the
query box, and it will be prompt
ly answered without any one
knowing who asked it. If you
have a field that is not paying
for its keep" stock that are eat
ing their heads off, or a husband
that you cannot manage, drop
your query into the box and get
the answer. But whatever you
door do not do attend every
session that you possibly can.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1915-01-21
OVER DRAWING Your HEALTH ACCOUNT
Little Talks on Health and Hygiene by
Samuel G. Dixon, N. D., IL. D.,
Commissioner Health.

We are all more or less famil-
lar with the strict rules of banks
in regard to individual credit.
We do not expect to be permitted
to overdraw our accounts. Br
with our drafts on the Bank of
Health. the majority of us expect
more liberal treatment. Over
drafts, promises to pay, notes of
hand we give with a prodigal
spirit, and growl nightly if call
ed to account by Mother Nature
for extravaganza.
Every one begins life with a
certain amount of capital in the
way of health and resistance to
disease. This varies in different
individuals according to the ply
sique which they have inherited
from their parents plus or minus
the conditions under which they
developed in their youth. We
start life as men and women with
this variable amount to your cred
it. When it has been expended
we are through.
Every dissipation and every i'll
ness which means the expendi-
ture of physical energy with
draws just so much from your
health account. 1t is common
enough to hear people who have
been i'll, speak of being cured"
but physicians are well aware
that this is a relative term only.
Every serious illness has its eff
feet upon the system, and, even
though we may feel no decided
change, almost invariably there
has been some diminution from
normal.
1t is the same with exhaustion
from excesses, physical and men,
tai strain. Subject yourself to
these trials and after a period of
rest you may recuperate. How
ever, if you continue, this recup-
Grafton will be slower and slower
and, eventually, the overstrained
machinery will break down. For
this reason it behooves everyone
to exercise reasonable caution
and restraint in eating, and the
expenditure of physical and men,
tai energy. Remember that the
doctor cannot restore that which
is already lost.
Expend your energies with dis
erection, and keep the balance of
your health account as much in
your favor as possible-never ex-
hausting it.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1915-01-21
Billy Sunday-GramS.

No man ever intended to be-
come a drunkard. Every drunk
ard started out to be simply a
moderate drinker. The fellow
who tells me that he can leave it
alone when he wants to lies. 1t
is a lie. If you can, why don't
you leave it alone?
Our so-called best girls keep
company with young men whose
character would make a black
mark on a piece of anthracite,
They might as we'll take you to
the graveyard end bury you when
your reputation is gone.
If our women and girls would
take a higher stand and say, mo
we will not keep company with
you unless you live the way we
want you to-" there would be
better men in the world. A lot
of young women hold yourselves
too cheaply. You are scared to
death for fear you will be what
the world irreverently calls an
old maid.
One old God-forsaken scound-
rel of a libertine, who looks upon
every woman as legitimate prey,
will contaminate a community.
One drunkard staggering and
meandering and muttering his
way down to predition, will de-
bauch a town.
You can't live your life alone.
Your life affects others.
There are lots of moral lepers
who are apparently clean. They
live in the best homes, and lots
of the so-called best girls receive
and keep company with them.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1915-01-21
Operation Was SuccesSful.

On Tuesday Mrs. H. P. Charl-
ton and two children Allan and
Ernest, returned to their home
at Jerome, Pa, after having
spent several months with Mrs.
Charlton's parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Lewis Yonker, on account of i'll
health. About a month ago, DR..
j. H. Tobias of Hancock, Md.
took Mrs. Charlton to the Uni
versity Hospital in Baltimore,
where she underwent a surgical
operation performed by Doctors
Bay and Johnson, which was a
success, and she is now returning
home very much improved in
health.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1915-01-21
Recent Weddings.
BAKER-AKERS.

At the Imperial Hotel in New
York on Monday, January II,
1915, Maurice B., son of the late
A. F. Baker, and M. j. Baker, of
Wells Valley, was married to
Miss Ora Bessa, daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. j. G. Akers, of Keyser
w. Va. The ceremony was per-
formed at 7;30 in the evening by
Rev. G. w. Peters of the M. E.
church, Setauket, l.. l., a broth
er-in-law of the groom. After
having spent a day in the home
of his brother-in-law and sister,
Mr.. and Mrs. Baker left for an
extended trip through the west
ern states. The News extends
most hearty congratulations to
this worthy young couple.
BLACK-BRINKLEY.
Walter Black and Miss Mar
garet Brinkley were married
January 16, 1915, at the M. E.
parsonage in McConnellsburg, by
Rev. j. V. Royer. Mr.. Black is
a son of Mr.. and Mrs. P. Fred
Black, and the bride is a daugh-
ter of Mrs. Abner McLucas, all
of McConnellsburg.