South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-05-31
The Man In the Street

BE what your friends think you
are; avoid being what YOUR enemies
say you are; go right ahead and be
happy.
The numerous bridal showers in
and around our neighborhOod during
May are promising tremendous
crop Of JOY IN June
we have lost our button factory
and have had 10 90 out Of the city for
an architect for our new library
building, but still we manage to
smile.
Someone writes TO tsk US for ideas
about making her yard more beauti-
full. How would it do for our fair
reader TO remain in the house.
It was a woman who said it was
impossible for a baldheaded man 10
be an ideal husband" We would
never say anything like that, but we
have doubts about baldheaded
woman making an ideal wife.
A young woman of New York fell
in love with a cook because OF the
delicious griddle cakes he made. The
griddle and the frying pan are always
a first aid to matrimOny, and every
girl who approaches the altar in June
ought to be able 10 hand her trem-
bling and simpering lord a testi-
mOnial from mother setting forth
that she can rip a symphony from the
gas range as easily as she can from
the piano.
The brethren who pray for peace
should remember that the Lord did
not start this war
Luke McLuke says the word whisky
had it's origin an the Irish word
"uiscue." 1t is not the origin so
much as the destination of whisky
that demands so much and gives so
much worry.
We're going TO take every moth
er's sen and daughter in the city. as
we'll as the old folks and the house
keepe., into the country this sum-
mer and picnic them to their hearts
content Verify ours is an elysium
more bright and certainly more en-
terprising that that of the ancient
Greeks
The bowling game was played again
With fifty at the. plate.
There were strikes TO spare
'MOng those who were there;
Too bad we had date.
We asked the milkman how it
came that no cream gathered on our
milk and he told Us that he filled the
bottle SO full that there was no room
for the cream on top, and his ex-
PLANTATION satisfied us.
The man who INDUCES RETROSPECT
tion can always see what a fool he
was 90 years ago. but he will have
to wait until 1885 to comprehend
what palpitating idiot he is now.
It's up to the civic fathers to dig
and show their generosity by helping
us keep the band on the streets Sat
urday nights.
The European papers have a
special column devoted 10 births,
marriages and deaths. Coming, go
ing, gone as it were.
We'd Just like TO wager that Prof.
d. w Horton succeeds in getting
/ that athletic field he's set his mind on.
/ Easiest thing in tLe world TO get your
/ hearts desire in AIishawaka-prO-
vided, of course, you know the right
way to go about it.
Cnarne BlnB nam, peg pardon, Slr
! Charles Bingham alias Lord Mersey,
was in his element as POSTMASTER at
/ the bowling banquet. He might well
/ be Scotch judging by the originality
/ of the bon mOts he got of on this
most suspicious occasion.
/ Wonder what we're all going to do
I when the high school closes its enter
/ tanning doors for the season?
| Sandy McTavish puts a penny in
| the weighing machine at the corner
/ of Lincoln way and Main ST Ma
: chine out of order. No money back
An hour later-machine still out of
order Sandy out of breath. Dawn
4 next morning-Sandy found dead
with smashed machine lying across