South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-04-09
Seeing America
First
BY Fred Kelly.

lessly in the clutches Of the sand dab
habit. / myself have fallen victim
TO the insidiOus sand dab. / struggled
against it, / fought the good tight,
but il was a losing battle against too
great odds. and today the sand dab
has me just where 1t wants me.
The sand dab. it may be well to eX-
plain. is a kind of fish a cunnin' little
fish about half "a foot lOng-Or at least
II seems TO average about that size
when it appears on the platter ready
for the ultimate consumer. 1t has the
general outline and conformation Of
watermelon seed, and is an exception
ally bOny variety of fish. This latter
feature of the dab might at first
thought serve TO keep the dab and the
tourist apart and protect them from
one another. But il dots not. A
hOmely Woman's face may do picket
duty for her virtue. but a sand dab's
multiplicity of bones are of scant
avail in keeping ii from the frying
pan.
The first night 1 was in California
l sat at a hotel table bordering over
the menu, uncertain what TO say TO
the waiter, and half inclined TO make
the usual selection common TO such
moments of indecisiOn, that is, ham
and eggs y pleasant young person
named Tom Stout with whom / was
dining, suggested sand dabs. He
seemed so insistent that, between
curiosity and desire not TO hurt his
feelings, 1 foolishly consented.
From that moment / have been
changed man. 1 am no longer my
own master. My Will power is gone.
Each noon at lunch and again each
night at dinner 1 so into cafe fully
resolved to steel myself against the
dubious attractions of the dab and
order q beefsteak or a plate of hash.
But before / realize what l am doing
/ tell the waiter TO make mine dabs.
When the dab comes or rather
when the three oabs come, for they
are invariably served in threeS, / feel
certain that the next time 1t Will be
easier to resist. The have a flavor
that makes one feel like repeating,
tbs true, bat they also have more little
clandeStine bones than a pOrcupIne
has quilts. Eating a sand dab is
good deal like working for ones board.
Why does one order dabs when ne
knows all these little bones come with
it? Why does a confirmed drunhard
order strong liquor that he knows viii
cause him TO 90 home and beat his
wife and children? Simply because
the habit is upon him.
. l shall not be my real self again
until | go where the sand dab is not.
My unfortunate experience with
sand dabS recalls q distressing cpl
sode with still another article of Cali
fornia food, if artichOkes may prop
erly be called food. Two of three
years ago a handsome matron in
Washington was giving a little dim
ner. In order to round the affair out
and give the final touch of tone 10
the occasion she invited me. n feature
of the entertainment was course
consisting of artichOkes, which she
had ordered at considerable expense
direct from California. Now, that
evening marked the first formal
presentation, as you might say, OF
myself and artichokes TO one another.
I had viewed them a few times from
a distance, but we had never been
thrown together in the intimate way
that made that dinner memorable.
Artichokes are not eaten quite IKE
anything else And there is no reason
WHY they should be. What l mean is
that there is no reason why artlchohes
should be eaten at all. The average
person will find it about as satisfy
ing Just to read about something 10
eat as to consume an aruchoke \
person who is going to take artlchokes
seriously should start in when eX-
tremely young and tamllarlze MINI
self with the eating process. Ihose
never acquire that ease OF manner
which is so essential to the full en-
joyment of expensive food.
/ had been tipped off TO the fact
that artichOkes are eaten by breaking
off a leaf at a time with ones own
God-given fingers. No artificial eat
ing implements are necessary or re-
quired by social usage. But there is
a trick to the thing about which l
1, a
of an artichOke is suitable for eating.
one nibles Oft just the soft part at
the root of each petal-like leaf and
losses the rest of the fragment into
the discard. l put one or two of the
fibrous leaves into my mouth and
chewed. while awaiting Developments.
After a few minutes of this / decided
to swallow what l had in my mouth
without further chewing, for, frankly.
l was not making great Roadway, and
the total volume of goods In my
mouth seemed to be increasing. The
fibre of the leaf would not dissolve,
and / felt like a man who is trying
to eat up a jute bag or strip or
binder twine.
1 heard some one remarking that
the artichoke was at its best when one
got down into its heart. So l broke
off several more leaves and went at
them with calm resignation, eager TO
have the worst over with. for / am
not one who will disappoint hostess
by not appearing TO relish costly VIC
tuals l chewed and cheWed ana
chewed. 1 was so intent on my task
that / did not note the technique OF
those about me. and therefore could
not profit by observation.
At the close of the meal the hostess
asked me what l thought of the art-
chokes. and / told her they impressed
me as being extremely serviceable and
attractive. as indeed they were An
artichoke looks ornamental and mine
had proved durable.
But when il comes TO selecting
something TO eat, / incline toward
sand dabS.