davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-10-21
40 InCubatOrS
for sale

Practically new, used but little,
displaced by mammoth machines.
rs 360-Buffalo, S18 each.
Is 400 Standard Cyphers, $22 each
z. C. DRUMM, ROSEMoNT, N. j.
Bell Phone 121R21 Lambertville
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-10-21

The annual sale of the Improve
ment Band of the First Baptist
Church will be held in the lecture
room, II and 10 of November.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-10-21

SEED WHEAT FOR SALE Miracle
Seed Wheat. yields heavily, good,
long straw; price reasonable. Francis
A. Worthington, Aquetong, Pa.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-10-21

FOR SALE-The Logan House, in
New Hope borough. One of the best
hotel stands in the county, and the
only licensed place in the town. Apply
to Charles S. Roberts, New Hope, Pa.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-10-21

HORSESHOE four-year-old horse
and one-horse rubber-tire cab for
sale. VIM. M. Field, Brownsburg,
Pa. Sept. 30-14.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-10-21

GIRLS WANTED Girls to learn
silk weaving; S. per week paid while
learning. James Simpson & Co. New
Hope, Pa. Oct. 21-28
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-04-05

This is the season of the year when
we have brief period of surcease
from goosefesh before starting on
prickH heat.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-04-05

Judging from the kaiser's first in
terview during the war we are of the
opinion that he has been reading pro-
German newspapers
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09


"Your credit established in the city of Tacoma"
Pacific Andrews morning,
after exciting blocks
as stepped out of the
E. Gilmore of the Goodyear Raincoat known,
haps Gill, Jimmy
18th and theeN be something doing In this neghbohood
was he said 'I didn't
quite get you"
After that there a silence and
little later when Conrad Kopfensen
sold a suit of clothes
promised to back tomorrow, don't he'll think
lar-and
Maybe he's right don't know.
Big Jim s laying for me- so I'm
going to take Commerce st. for few days
don't want 1t particularly
l nearly always meet him on Pacific
Jim big it gives headache look a hr..
The hourly sale at the Greater Tacoma Cloak
to have very good values for tomorrow. :
their evenings Times
Continued Tomorrow
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
ne Presi Tents Happiness

Dispatches say that callers at the White House
came out from their interviews with Grandpa Wilson
smiling They had found him one Of the happiest
men and willing to talk of little save that new Sayre
baby:
Why, Of course! It's all nice and natural Today
we have say three babies in the house. A little
Der of years pass, and we have none. Oh yes, we've
carried them O. long nights gone near crazy over
their squang, hunted the collie bottle, stubbed our
toes rockers bumped our fOreheads doors ajar,
groaned under bills for lot of darned infantile
things in which didn't see any sense use, and
felt gray and stopped under the of fatherhood
and then the time es--always too soon-when by
growth, loss through marriage, death there are
no babies in the house.
The babies are gone! They've carried with them
somewhat of our youth and ambition in life, and the
hill over which we all go seems nearer. Our baby
boy who is all ours and we all his) today, tomorrow
has girl and cigar case and other interests in
which we are not. Our baby girl who is all ours to-
day, tomorrow, has her eyes fixed home of her
own, with us as occasional visitors. Husbands take
the place we held mothers and wives the place
held as fathers. We had been thinking that we were
ALL as teachers and lovers of our babes and we find
that we are only part. A chidless house is even
sadder thing than the den of bachelor.
Only two years ago, Woodrow Wilson had splen-
did wife and three fine children He lost his dear
mate by death and two of his children by marriage
Now comes into his domestic life little baby boy.
TO be grandfather is to live again 1t is balm
for the heart-ache. It is gentle rain in the domestic
desert 1t is regeneration of hope, expectation de-
sires. 1t is child more, one of mans greatest
blessings to lie ones breast, to stir the heart to
make life again worth the living. 1t is loving
refuge to which to fly from the hard demands of pub
lie duty The grave look worn by our president 81
face since he buried his wife is supplanted by broad
smile. He laughs He cuddles that baby He talks
OF nothing but his little grandson Be very happy,
President Lest men should feel old and neglected
and deserted and out of the game the good God made
granddads
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
In the Editors Mail

A Times subscriber living at Milton asks "what
In your opinion should be done with that German re-
servist who destroyed the bridge between Canada
and Maine.''
And just as we were about to forget our neutral
ity by solving this great international question we
opened another letter from a West End reader. a
very brief letter it was and to the point. 1t read:
Editor Iimes How is Welsh rarebit pro-
nouncedg" Subscriber.
Now, Subscriber always try to be accommo-
datln' but when you come at us on our blind side.
we're likely to shy
We guess, Subscriber, that you have got outside
OF Just as many of the devlish things at the hour
when all respectable people are in bed, as we have
ana there amt no use tryin' to lay trap for u.s.
You might be the next door neghbor to our wife for
all we know
Howsoever we aim to answer all the questions put
to us, somehow or MOTHER So Subscriber we 90 to
the length sayn that if you try one of those rare
DIT or rabbit things about a. m tomorrow and wake
up something like two hours later when the cheese
= runnn' a read heat with the beer at mile a
minute q, gait inside your anatomy you will more than
nkely pronounce it La Sherman on war.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

given Krupp
BACH he probably really needed
deadheads San Diegos the first month";
10000 people buying tickets.
Japanese soldiers fighting SOIL invitation,
would send the chills the white mans spine.
Bushing bashfuy himself president,
showed his Mex of hts
treasury.
The Japanese manufacturing clothing Of
quite successfully Eureka Think of getting spring suit Of
Sundays paper
believe charge
II a OF n
America will propose
A Chicago 175 "a
We him in that the getting
thin
evident
suggestions made neura provided
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

LII. Tonic Riedmann of Hamburg. the coal oil
Rockefeller of Germany, says we Americans are
pltifu set OF weaklings" This because we don't do
more than protest against the act of the English
navy in hauling down the American FLAG on an alec.
ed contraband ship.
When we stopped counting, the English navy had
hauled down the German flag on about 800 ships, but
we don't notice that Germany has done anything
particular about it'll
OF course, Dr. Tony is mad because his millions
are not rolling in as fluently as of yore Mostly,
however his conversation is for the purpose of ex-
citing the American nation against the allies and
thereby dragging us into this big war
We refuse to be drug in, Tony!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
CORRESPONDENTS

The following contrib. 10 from
the facile pen of Ebert Hubbell,
who claims to have been the VIC
tim of a woman who sold patent
stew pan covers (and got away
with it, round Tacoma. The pa
tent, she assured prospective pur-
chasers. would prevent the escape
of scents from cooking meats.
This argument was a sure money
getter. Scents from cooking
meats have been known to at
tract hoboes from miles away.
The lady salesman picked up con-
siderable family rainy-day cash.
CONTRIB
There was a young dame in Ia
coma,
Who said she'd suppress the
OF prime ribs au jus
Or even roast goose
And now she is building home
ah!
Don't worry about Jerome.
Now that the Thaw fees are shut
off, II he hasn't anything else to
fall back on, remember that lie
can 20 to work.
BILL COCKROACH
Bill Coekroach WAS almost
ready to turn away from a couple
of court house dads who were
grouching- pleasantly over the
question of taxes In their relation
to the public schools.
II thought we had free text
book law In this state" said one
of the knockers.
"Sure," said the other. 1--WE
do"
"Eh?" exclaimed the first. II
paid $40 for books, calico, thread,
tablets and one thing and another
that my daughter had to have mt
school last term"
>Bill left disgustedly. Of course
he knew this wouldn't be of any
interest TO anybody.
o
THOUGHT WE COULDN'T
ANSWER 1T, DIDN'T YOU?
Dear Selah: l have three pet
oysters that snore dreadfully at
night, often keeping my husband
awake. He threatens to kill them
every time they snore and l am
afraid that he will do SO some
time in a fit of anger. How can
l prevent them from snoring?--
Mrs. F. ID.
The snoring is no doubt due to
their sleeping on their backs. Roll
them over on their sides.
SELAHl
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
SET RIGHT

A stout old gentleman was hav-
ing trouble with the telephone.
He could hear nothing but a con-
fused tumble of sounds, and final
ly he became so exasperated that
he shouted into the transmitter:
Who's the blithering idiot at
the end of this line?"
He's not at this end" answer
ed cool, feminine voice.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
THOUGHT WE COULDN'T
ANSWER 1T. DIDN'T YOU
LUCKY FIGURES

Jones-Do you believe there Ia
safety in numbers?
Skorcher--I'm certain. When
ever I'm exceeding the speed lin
II l hang some other chaps num-
Der on the back of my car.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
THEY PART RIGHT THERE

It's short way to vacation,
It's short way to go;
It's short way to vacation,
And the cash our wives will
blow;
Nighttimes we will open jackpots,
Daytimes they will spend our
dough;
It's short way to bankruptcy,
It's a short way to go.
Houston Post.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
CRISP QUERY

do you know of anything that
is really good to preserve the COM
plexion?" asked Miss Middle.
"Why?" inquired Miss Knox.
Are you interested in somebody
who has one?"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
WHAT A RELIEF
HER VORACIOUS BEAUS

Mr.. Manley--Well, my dear,
I've had my life insured for
$1,000.
Mrs. Manley-How very sensi-
BILE of you, Now I shan't have
to keep telling you to be SO care
full every place you go.---Patll-
finder.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
HARD TO PROVIDE

Mr.. Litchfield, the art dealer,
when exhibiting some panels OF
tapestry, teiegraphed for the re-
turn of one thus: "Send panel
eight by ten, Venus and Adonis,
Litchfield."
A puzzled clerk sent on the
message to the city of Litchfield.
and received the reply. mo such
firm as Venus and Adonis known
here. Try Manchester"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

The Suspended One-This Is a
fine predicament. Believe me, I'll
never go mountain climbing
again.
The Guide-I was just thinking
that myself.
The Suspended One-How so?
The Guide-Because l really
don't know any way to get you
down.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
SPEAKING OF MEMORIES

r. ". Stevenson, 10 Saskatch-
evan Crescent, Saskatchewan, can
repeat his address without once
referring to notes.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
LET JOY BE UNCONFINED

w. H. Paulhamus, one of the
niftiest little free ad getters in
the state. who says he may not
be candidate for governor,
charges that the report in circu-
lation that he went into q seed
store to get some cuckoo seed be-
cause his cockee clock had stop
ped is a base canard started for
,...,,.s.u. an rtHlSeS
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
AESTHETIC

The Mistress shall take one
OF the children 10 church with me
this morning, Mary.
The General--Yes'm, which?
The Mistress Oh, which ever.
will go best with my new mauye
dress.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
LITERARY RIVALS

They say that Tennyson fire.
qaently worked a whole afternoon
on single line"
That's nothing. | know a man
who has been working the last
six months on one sentence"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
LETT Joy BE UNCONFIRMED

Edward Danz OF Union. Mo I,
and Miss Viola Walz of the same
city, went to Memphis last Sat
urday and were married.-Harris-
burg (Ark.) Modern News.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
THE RACE ISN'T ALWAYS

The physicians were DR.. Whit
man. first; DR.. Morrow, second,
and DR.. Swift. - Belvidere, Ill.
Republican.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

ODE
There may DO things n man who
1Ias
But one leg cannot do;
Remember. though, that he can
kick
As hard rs one with two.
A WORD FROM JOSH WISE
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09
OB>SERV ATIONS|

Iron been given Dr. Gustav Krupp BohIen
BACH but he probably really needed iron
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

FAVORITE FICTION
I'VE expect a much better team
this year than ever before; in
fact a pennant-getter-"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

eth largest art
collection i'm Bee.
leysp0rt is owned
by Soy Bean. IL
consists of 5000
cigaret picters, and
he Is all smoked up
over it."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

panese soldiers fighting European soil, by invitation
sure send the chills up the white mans spine.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

Chicago has 175 vests. 81 suits, "a dress sui
overcoats We him in that the seat of
rim
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-02-09

II is evident that both the Germans and the allies
suggestions made by neutras provided happens
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Luke MeLuke SAYS:


1t often happens that a man has no
peace Of mind because his wife is al
ways giving him a piece of hers.
a man would rather spend ten
months telling about his troubles than
spend ten bours in getting rid Of them.
1t is easy to get a reputation for be
ing wise man. Just Wear Il tall hat
and frock coat and keep your mouth
shut.
He expects her to provide for the in
ner man. but he kicks when she asks
him to provide for the outer woman,
If we would work as hard as we
worry we would all be wealthy.
When Il man is Dragging that his dog
has more sense than he has he thinks
you won't believe it.
/ Wealth doesn't always bring beauty.
Some Of the heiresses look as though
they had been born with silver soup
ladies in their mouths.
A woman isn't always arranging for
friend husbands funeral when she is
gazing intently into Il gun store Win
dow Maybe she is only admiring her
reflection in the window pane.
4 Tell Il girl how pretty she is looking
and the moment your back is turned
she will open her hand bag and powder
/ her nose.
/ Too many of the men who are wait
ing for their ships to come in do their
waiting where they can see the schoon-
ers crossing the bar.
You do not have to 90 to Europe to
see real battle. Just go home with
a man who hasn't notified his wife that
he is bringing a stranger to dinner
Some men are so strong in their be-
lief that they should profit by their
mistakes that they are always short
changing other people.
There are all sorts OF people in the
world. including the man who has time
to sit down and worry because oratory
IS on the decline in this country.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
O354O
Notice for Publication.

Department of the Interior, U. s.
Land Office at Missoula, Montana,
Sept. 8, 1915, Notice is hereby given
that Earl Michael Spencer of Horte,
Montana, who on July 3, 1911, made nd
entry No O3540, for Unit G, 81
SEA Sec. S, 7. 20 NJ, r. q w. Nj.
M, has filed notice of intention to
make communication proof under old
law, to establish clam to the land
above described, before E. H. Rath-
bone, U. S. Commissioner, at Roman,
Montana, on the 18th day of Oct, 1915.
Claimant names as witnesses: Stanley
Scarce, Robert Langhotf, of Roman
Montana, Leroy Atkinson, of Horte.
Montana, William Hilton, of Dixon.
Montana
FRANK M. M'HAFFTE,
sep 10 oct Register.
Nom coal land. Flathead Project
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
O48O2
Notice for Publication.

Department of the Interior, U. S.
Land Office at Missoula, Montana,
Sept 8, 1915. Notice is hereby given
that George 3. Broughton, of Roman,
Montana, who.on Dec. II, 1913. made nd
entry No. 04802, for Unit N, SW4,
Sec. %, 7. q NJ, r. 20 W., NJ. M,
has filed notice of intention to make
communication proof under new law to
establish claim to the land above des-
cribed. before E. H. Rathbone, a U.
5. commissioner at Roman, Montana,
on the 18th day of Oct, 1915. Claimant
names as witnesses: John B.. Bear,
Stanislaus Otto, Joseph A. Lemire,
William r. Sheen, all of Roman, Mon
tana.
FRANK M. MHAFFIF,,
sep 10 oct s Register.
Non-coal land Flathead project
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Well, What's the Difference T?

Editor ROuntlee of Texas announces
that the Temple badger farm is rs
bleak and bald us Judd Mortimer Lew
is head Indeed. it must be Il cold.
bleak and naked place then. Luke Nc
Luke in Cincinnati Enquirer.
We can't Tiger out whether Lee said
that because we came to Texas or
Luke said it because we left Ohio, but
we don't care. They're gettin' us con
founded with Rody McPhee. - Judd
Lewis in Houston Post.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01

"A steady stream of nelu
merchandise is an important
rule of good storeheeping.
The big Store" is buying al
most constantly at the centets
of production. The display
of ne,U goods is a panorama.
Nelv goods comes in regularly
and frequently.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Tie SypIay MinstreIs.

Mr., lntcr!ocutor, can You tell me
why bald head always reminds you
of heaven:"
mo, Nh Bones, l cannot. Will You
tell us why?'
because it is bright and shining
spot and there's no parting there"
after the police have dubbed the
audience into Inconsistencies Mr.. Russ
lad. Your Breath Is Strong. My Oar
ling, But My Love Is Growing Weak.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01

---"Big Store" merchandise is
bought and sold With the OBJ
ject of giving the most gener-
Gus value for each price---and
the big Store" aims alWays
to gi,e the most quantity and
quality---for the price.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Huh!

I'm sick and tired of this stuff that
you cook every meal" growled Mr.,
Gabb as he sat down to the dinner Ia
pie, My doctor tells me that should
eat more fish and other brain building
foods"
Very WELL" sweetly responded Mrs
Gabb. "I'll order Il dozen of whales
tomorrow"
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Wocps.

There was an old fellow named WNnne
Who drank too much bitters ana gynne.
He took a delight
In getting so tight
That he could observe the world spy!ne
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Paw Knows Everythir q.

Nillie-paw. what is critic?
IaW--A critic is Il man who can
show you how you could have done
thing differently without showing YOU
how you could have done it better, nay
son
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
NtuH!

The COW said: "What have YOU for sale
What is that stuff SO blue and pale?"
"Why, that is milk" the mtlhmm said
And then the poor old COW dropped dead.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Bits Of byplay
By Luke McLuke
Copyright, 1915, the Cincinnati
Enquirer
Fact.

Old opportunity won't bluff,
He takes your chance and frees it;
AND he is wise who knows enough
To seize it when he sees it.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Another Fatal Flash.

Here's another fatal flash" for Luke
McLuke:
Didn't hide
Tablets bichlOride.
Slow ride
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
There Are Too Many Germs In Water

/ There Are Too Many Germs In Water.
/ Dear Luke-You have this to say:
ENOUGH is PLENTY.
/ Lives of great men oft remind us
That we should control a thirst
And departing, leave behind us
This fair warning, Safety first"
But it should read as follows:
Lives of great men should remind us
OF this warming, safety first"
VIII Luke strive and some time help us
Cultivate a safety thirst?'
cleveland, O.
Names Is Names.
Miss Ina Hyalen lives at Rich
mond, Va.
Things TO Worry About
John d. Rockefeller's income is $40
minute.
Our Daily Special.
With some men cleanliness is next to
impossible.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
What Do You Wish In Silks.
Wash Goods or Dress Goods?
NEW FALL APPAREL

Anticipate your late autumn and winter
needs in plenty of time. Come today
why wait?
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
All the new fancies in
WOMEN'S BLOUSES

Varied as they are charming. These new
blouses include models for all occasions modified
tailleur styles for morning and business wear and
lacy creations for the dressy toilet.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
FURS---
FURS---
This is the time to think of buying
furs. Come in and 60 over the
situation with us.
Style and Economy in
WOnen's New Shoes

On the eve of season when footwear is to as
sumo unusual fashion Importance. The Big
Store assortments are unusually large.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Thinus 70 Worry Abou

John d. Rockefeiler's income is $40 a
minute.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01

Pleasing assortment of new fall and
winter suits and coats---made by the
Royal Tailors. Leave your orders with
us.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01

1.-The store that adds smiling
service to best merchandise,
at fair and moderate prices,
marks far itself a road that
leads to popularity and pros
perify.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Names Is NJ anes.

Miss Ina Hyslen lives at Rich
mond, Va.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Our Daily Specia

With some men cleanliness is next to
impossible.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-10-01
Attractive assortment of women's
Silk PettiCOatS

We know women will recognize the desirability
of having one or more of these stylish models.
Full founce effect that fashion demands