The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-07-20
EU ening Chat
How to Make Children Mind.
BY RUTH CAMERON

How to Make Children Mind.
Why do children obey some people
and absolutely refuse to obey others !?
In other words, what qualities, what
attitude is necessary to win a child s
obedience.
A letter friend who is to have a
child visitor for the summer asks me
that question.
1t is very difficult TO answer. Chill
dren are not fixed numerical guam
titles, they are variant individuals, and
consequently the answer varies to
some extent for each.
Nevertheless there are certain gem
eraIprin n pies which apply to all chill
dren. e.Cte
In the first place. all children re-
spect quiet force OF cha. eActer. They
are sure to feel it, even though they
do not know what it is they feel. Ami
mails likewise respond to this silent
force. A word from a man who pos
sesses it means more than torrent of
commands from the person who lacks
it, who is all on the surface.
Children never mind well when they
are spoken to in a high pitched, nerv-
Gus voice and an irritable manner
Their antagonisn and obstinacy is in
evitably aroused TO COMBAT nerves and
irritability, and the difficulty of gain
ing obedience doubled.
Mothers often wonder why their
than themselves. There are several
reasons for this: one is that men are
more apt to have that force of charac-
ter that commands obedience; another
is that the children see less of their
fathers and therefore stand in more
awe of them, and still another, to my
thinking, is that men do not nag De
way women do.
A man told me once that he pitied
any dog that belonged to a woman.
They always have a cowed look" he
said, because their miStreSseS are
constantly nagging them with I'M
necessary commands" 1t seems to
me that is a description of the way
many perfectly good women treat
their children, nag them with I'M
necessary commands. If you want to
have your commands respected don't
make them too numerous Don't get
with child. Before you utter a COM
mand or prohibition ask yourself If
it is absolutely necessary, and with
hold it if it isn't.
A child has an Unborn sense of JUS
tice. Appeal to that sense instead of
outraging it. Be ready to tell the child
why. If you can inspire a child with
the belief that you are trying to act
reasonably and justly towards him in
stead of merely welding the authority
of superior force, he will be more will
ing to obey.
To extort obedience by threats and
brides is one of the greatest tempta-
tions of the profession of motherhood.
Occasional punishment and rewards
are right but constant threats and
brides are not. When you must pun
ish, if you can make the punishment
flow out of the crime you will estab-
lish a connection of cause and result
that may make a deeper impression
than an arbitrary whipping.
Lastly, the parent who wishes to be
obeyed must be firm. If he makes a
stand he must hold to it (provided of
course he does not feel that he has
been wrong). In that case the best
thing is to own up. To retreat from
command is to leave b weak place for
the entering wedge or the child's nat
ural propensity to tease.
And anyone who has ever had any
thing to do with children knows that
peace goes out of the window when a
teasing child comes in at the door.