The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-07-01
Tales of the Town

i dies Ol lI10 i OWL
A wig is the only effective hair re-
storer.
We have noticed that the man who
believes rock-and-rye will cure cold
usually has one.
Speaking about the automobile TAX
ing the place of the horse, it takes
horse sense to properly run an auto
mobile.
Whiskers being delusion and a
snare, Nature should have arranged
it so the bald spot would appear on a
mans chin and work north.
Now that this land of the free has
two prominent private citizens, it re-
mains to be seen which one will talk
the most. Neither one Of them is !
noted for silence.
4
Henry Ford is building an immense
plant for the manufacture of farm
tractors. But it is doul tful if even
Mr.. Ford can make plowing favor
tie outdoor pastime.
The man who borrowed $4 from his
pastor and sent it away to get four
full quarts with a corkscrew thrown
in, is entitled to go to the head of
the Meanest Man class.
A fat man has an awful time!
When he stoops his backs hum
mock,
And if he stands up straight folks
say:
Gle seems so proud of his stom-
achw
Small Tommy was interested in a
,aler's gold filed tooth. Finally, he
SAID: "Mamma. / know what makes
Mrs. Blanks tooth so shiny; she talks
20 fast her tongue keeps it polished"
An Emmett man says the most ter
'ible experience he ever underwent
vas when he had boil on his neck t
md went to the picture show and sat |
lirectly behind big hat. t
Respectfully referred to Charlie t
iamage, the muleologist: When a a
pick and span new auto drove down o
lain street the other day, a mule t
oft gave its mother one farewell look, p
hen followed the car. n
4 4 4 a
81 fear this shirt will shrink" said
nan to a Hebrew clothiec in New t
,ork City. "Vell, that shirt can't b
brink, / tell you, friend" replied the G
lerchant, "for every fire department Il
l New York has squirted water on I
, yet" c
"Take this medicine according to p
he directions" said the physician, IL
and you will sleep like baby" "You e;
i'll have to excuse me, DOCTOR" mod 81
itly replied the young lady patient. bl
Wy married sisters baby sleeps with VI
5 big toe in its mouth" IL
4 4 = bl
To stand with a smile upon your IL
a, ,ra;,et , staLa f~np, which ,yn,, 10
mot get away, that, no doubt, is al
roic. To stand unclaimed, with tn
rfect liberty to go away, held only
the higher claims of duty, and let pa
e fires creep up to the heart-that of
heroism.-F w. Robertson. ar
he
At fancy dress ball for children in de
Eastern town, an officer was sta tn
med at the door with instructions fir
{ to admit an adult. An excited bu
man came rushing up to the door Sc
d demanded admission. "Pm sorry, DO
lm," replied the policeman, "but be
1T let anyone in but children" But
Cilllu Is uICSSeu as a bulbGIIyf ! vi
,hlaimed the woman, "and has for tn,
ten the wings" "Gan't help ii" an
'lied the policeman, "orders is or ne
IS; you'll have to let her go as a tn,
erpillar." an
COZ
What Evangelist Billy Sunday says an
'ut newspapers is worth consider to
!. 81 believe" he says, that an fas
lest newspaper is invincible. You the
It stop it any more than you can of
k battle ship with shotgun, Fo
ash Gibraltar with a pea shooter be
dam Niagara Falls with toothpicks he,
hair combs. If the newspapers tell
re all suppressed believe that is
ne and sin would increase 100 per for
t overnight, and all hell would mig
! jubilee" res
e Fol
. grocer was going over his books "
The hope that they would show he