South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-01-12
Statesmen Real
and Near.
By Fred c. Kelly


PreS't Marshall stepped from the
senate chamber the other day after
presiding over a particularly bore
some session, fumbled in his vest
pocket for a cigar. yawned, and then
squared himself away to paraphrase
as follows:
Sometimes think I'd rather be
wrong than vice president"
To prepare ones self for this brief
tale one must keep it in mind that
Secy NcAdOo is a tall man built
along the lines of the average grey
hound.
A certain United States senator
dropped into McAdOO's outer office
the other day and asked George
Cooksey. the private secretary. If
NO" replied Cooksey. "he just this
minute went out TO lunch. But he'll
be back shortly"
Il think III not wait" remarked
the senator. IF he's half as hungry
as he looks his luncheon will occupy
two or three hours"
Rep. Joseph w. Byrns of Tennessee
was holding a joint debate with his
opponent the year of his first race for
congress.
The only bill of Importance ever
fathered by my friend here" asserted
Byrns-when man has something
particularly mean TO say about an
other man he always refers to him as
his friend-"was to get his congress
sional salary raised from $4,000 to
$500 a year"
To which the other candidate re-
piled that the increase was necessary
because of the high cost of living in
Washington.
ION, yes" retOrted Joe Byrns, lit is
necessary if one goes about always
clad in spotless linen"
And, fortunately for ByrnS, his OPP
Ponent was wearing spotless white
linen, even at that moment, right In
full view OF the audience. 1t was
futile for him to deny that he wore
immaculate white linen. The jig was
up. He was defeated.
If one were TO rummage through the
fascinating pages OF back numbers
Of the Congressional Record in an in
vestigating frame of mind, he might
note this coincidence:
That Sen. Ollie James Of Kentucky
will often go for weeks without having
much to say but that he always has
something to saw whenever there Is a
a speech by Sen. Bristow of Kansas.
BirstOw making a speech seems TO
Il
is to the Kentucky senator the red
flag to the bull, the fly in the ONT
ment, the hind leg in the milk bucket.
the sour note in the orchestra. II
Bristow gets up to offer a few re-
marks to the senate, you may be
fairly certain that in a minute James
will express a desire to ask a question.
And the question will be designed
to show that BristOw is entirely
wrong in most of what he has been
saying.
If it fails TO show Bristow in error,
James feels that he has talked that
day and lived that day in vain.
Rep. John Richard Garfield of
Syracuse, y. Y, defeated at the last
election, is a man of great candor.
When he sets out to give the facts he
is likely to be unsparing of himself.
His idea of the truth is that Ii must
he the whole truth. When Clancy
came to congress two years ago he
wrote a brief biOgra ply of himself Tor
the Congressional Directory, ending II
with the simple statement of his cleo
ton and the amount of his plurallty
After his defeat last November, Clancy
revised this biography for the newest
directory and added this
Defeated for the 64th congress by
Walter w. Magee, republican, by
about 5000"
ct isn't necessary to mention your
/ defeat" his friends told him. why
not let the biography stand just as II
was?"
because" said Calncy, lit would
/ incomplete"
/ Copyright. 1915. by Fred c. KellyD
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