The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-01-07
Tales of the Town

OS1NU "a SAAO " -
A giggling girl is apt to bncome
cackiing woman.
When man pays his taxes he feels
like writing real political platform
AS an eye opener these dry times
what's the matter with an alarm
clock?
A tip to the legislature: Why not
change taxpaying time to some other
date than Christmas
q 4 4
How man watches the little bare
spot on the top of his head in the
vain hope t!lat it will grow no larger.
We don't believe we would care to
be an osteopath doctor. II is too much
work, We would rather give 'em a
pill.
q 4 4
Sometimes it looks as if the harder
a man has to work to keep the wolf
from the door, the oftener the stork
gets in.
The Russian and Turkish names are
becoming easier. Sunday Berlin re-
ported that the Turks won 4 battle
between the cities Of Olti and Id.
paw" "Well?" "Paw, why is it
so much longer from New YeaRs to
Christmas than from Christmas to
New Years." And Paw was stumped.
When a charivari party called at
the home OF newly married minister
in an Oregon town, the minister in
vited the visitors inside and then Of
fered up prayer for their salvation.
"And this raincoat," asked the GUS
toner, ut is absolutely waterproof"
"Yes, 1t is what we call waterproof"
And it's price7" "Ten fifty" Il will 4
give you my check; while it is not |
absolutely good, it is what you may /
call practically good"
. &c 8
War has lifted the prices Of almost /
all products, and the Interstate Com q
merce commission has hiked the rates r
for the railroads. Now if someone n
would come to the aid of little old a
ultimate consumer, he might be able II
10 raise three cheers for himself. v
q Z & u
Two drummers from coast towns ii
were, the other evening, Boosting of A
the salmon in the respective locali- b
ties of that state whence they came.
Where come FROM" said the first, :,
I'VE have salmon river that rises in :,
some boiling springs. AS the salmon .
limb up the river they gradually get q
lcclimated to the heat of the water :,
md don't mind it. In fact, when we a,
fish in the highest reaches of the !,
stream we catch our salmon ready
,oiled." IL don't doubt that" said .,
he second calmly. "Down my way +.
here's curious salmon river, too. 1t :,
Uses in some tin mines. As the fish =
work up, they meet the suspended ore =,
n gradually increasing quantities.
hey get quite mineralized, if they
.eep on up stream, so that If we fish !"
t the head of the river we catch our 81 81
almon ready timed and all we have 10
o do is to pack and ship them to ~ y,
market" III
A wide-awake manager of a news 81
aper wanted to increase his outside PC
REGULATION and sent solicitor into I'd
he wilds of Arkansas to secure sub
rriptions. "At the first house Wis OF
ed said the solicitor in describing III
is experiences, sthe daughter told
lie that her pa and ma were down wa
| the cornfeld went down to the gu
cid and there the old woman had my
lie old man hitehed to pillow. an
liked to her first and explained all tn
lie advantages of our great newspa-
sr, but she wouldn't subscribe. Isl
len talked to the old man and he fac
ouidn't fall for me. Finally | be- sea
me rather exasperated and spread il the
fore him. There ! said, is the buC
'eatest newspaper in the world at thr
e same time giving the paper a to
I'D smack with my open hand. Do fro
~ know what that old fool did? He anc
n away and broke that pillow all to qui
eces-" I
q Q -
What a man needs who farms in
nth Dakota" remarked Old Bill 80
sgivens in reminiscent mood, ais eve
Il, perseverance and cheerful OF
nd, because he will find times when tur
Of them will be tried considerable one