El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-03-13

i rance VINO mas not Deeu SnOL dS q
I'VE see. Hinnissy, it appears that
tn gin'rals were Jealous iy these eN-
perts an small blame 10 thin TO
carry on "A war with wan ~ these
ianiuses lOOkin' on was like tn pitch
er iv a prairie bah team thryin' 10
wurruk with Christy Mathewson
standin' on tn sidelines. II made him
narvous. 1t was no pleasant thing 70
have a young fellow peeEin' around IN
tn camp recordin. tn kicks " IN
bCuld private again his canned corn
beef. chalkin' up tn number " times
tn gin'ral was seen goin' ii tn cup
board an jottin' down all his fumbles.
They made up their minds that in tn
scoor is this war thereu be no error
colyumn. livery gin'ral is now his
own special correspondent, like Hog
ans friend, JOOlyus CAVIAR.
"Joolyus Cayzar wasn't as copyous
a writer as Gin'ral Joffer Whin he
wanted tn boys back in Rome TO know
he'd busted tn inimy he autographed
7 come he says I see them, an he
SAYS. I licked thin 'Neeuy.' he says,
veedy,' he says, veecy' he SAYS
In afther years he was sorry he'd
put in two Wurruds too nanny.
Maybe the time may come whin
Gin'ral Joffer viii be ashamed he's
been so garrulouS- Ne'd think he was
paid by tn cOlymun tn way he's been
floodiu' tn pa-apers with wild out
pa-apers: ON our left there If alb
solutely nawthin' to report. On tn
river WISER we advanced wan MILL
meter. On tn Moose all is cam. TIL
day was univintful in tn forest iv
ArEonne. EXCEPT Fr tn squurls in tn
trees who hoped around a good dale
dull an rather tiresome day was
Spint be tn ARMY near Arras- In tn
coorse Nv tn languid afternoon, mo-
notOuOus in tn eLtnreme. we gained
between wan half an four-fifths iv
millimeter. but Just how much 7 can
not say, as I didn't have a tapeline
with me. TIL list " casualties follows
be freight
'I don't see why he shudden't write:
Still here an lave 1t 80 at that It
must be puzzlin' TO n Fr-rinch lady,
maybe, whose husband has gone 10 tn
war to read that absolutely nawthin'
" tn Taste Importance has happened
an thin bump into tn good mans
name in tn list iv those that has per
ished. presOOm'bly " ongwee. I niver
see such hard war TO read about
Tn minnyit I find mesilf gettin' in
tnrested IN a dispatch 7 stop readln'
il because I know il amt so. Tn
histhry " this war viii have 10 be
wrote be tn censor If ne can reminder
what he cut out
I don't blame tn gin'ra1s. II 7 was
wan " thin divvl III tut wud I let
any correspondent come with tn
ARMY, II cud help mesilf. Not that
I'd care about Thin rippin' me hand to
tn inimy. All the great sthrateegists
is lik' OF Won MolSy- They nivir know
what they're goin' TO do till just be-
fore they do it. No sinisble man wud
believe q giu'ral If he told him his
plan " battle. II wud be too simple
In a gin'ral way, Hinnissy. IL is 20
find out tn inimys sOftest spot
That'u be tn spot he's guardin' tn
most Thin thry an make him change
his guard be jabbin' him someWheres
else I wudden't care what he told me
about plans in advance IL 7 cud edit
what he wrote about thin afther I'd
carried thin out II 7 stharted
strategic RETREAT I wudden't want
some young fellow writin' home
'Gin'ral Dooley has Just passed me on
III broad highway, runnin' like rab-
bit. He was pale with fright an had
lost his hat an maybe priutiu'
pitcher IL me with both feet off III
ground, labeled 'Gin'ral Dooley IN ac-
ton
NO. sir. I'd write up tn exploit in
a way that wud be fair 10 mesilf.
Chicago; TIL inimy has appeared in
Sr-reat fOOrce. but I have dhriven him
back with tur-rble loss. KeOkuk.
IOway- Fiudin' me position ontinable
fr military raisons. I ordered an led
in person a strategic RETREAT Tn
brillyant manoover was accomplished
i'm good ordher- I arrived here this
mornin'. breezin' nsunder wraps. with
q
an file bad third Time 2,351z-
Omaha, Neebrasky- F'r tn purpose iv
Turin tn inimy away from his gro
ecries. ] continued me sthrateeEic re-
threat, which was conducted by me
in tn most mastherlr fashion, IL do
say So. tn Eoin- was heavy. but tn
time was fast Tn inimy off bad,
tired i'm tn sthretch an niver got up.
san Francisco: OWN TO my bein' a
poor sailor I have found if NECESSARY
TO make a stand at this pint an de
mand an armistice- II was arranged
on terms hou'rabIe to both sides. 7
turn over 10 tn inim- me side arms,
card-case, flask. boots. purse. watch
an chain, pocket comb. an TIL govern
mint ~ tn country He gives me
back my hat. I viii now return 20
tn bosom w grateful fatherland 20
collect me pinsion'
Wen niver know what happened
till tn war is Owe. an thin we won @
know But We can get a giu'ral idee
Or We have key TO tn dispatches.
I'm thinkin' iv gettin' one out;
strategic rethrsat-Ruuuin' away.
Fallin' back sthrateegic RETREAT iv
less thin ten miles whm III inimy is
out IL breath Onivintful day-Naw-
thin good TO report. Successful re-
nnysauce-Onsuccess attack Chat
bout tn flynn masheens-Bad news
about tn ARMY Inimy's mines-Our
mines or luiny's toTpedOes. Black
SavaEes- Spy-Waiter or barber.
bumdCm bullets-Inimy ammunition
Envelopiu' movement-Gettin' too far
IT m tn rest iv tn ar-rmy an havin