South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-07-13
ODD YARNS AND
TALES FROM THE
GOLFERS REALM
Mystery of dead Hymie" Ex-
planned by Nearby Glue Fac
tOry-HoW Smith and
Jones Made First Hole.
RY Frank G. NIenke-

NEW YORK. July 13.-She was
awfully pretty and very bright and
she didn't know very much about the
golfing game. So he explained the
game 10 her as she tramped around
the course with him.
He made a beautiful approach shot
and when they got on the green and
Sc saw where his ball lay, he eXclaim-
ed:
Holy mackerel! There's a dead
Hymie.''
oh" she answered. sis that what it
is thought 1 detected a, bad odor."
Yes. that's right; there was glue
factory in full operation near the
course.
Once upon a time an enthusiastic
golfer drove from the tee-and it was
a beautiful drive. The ball cleared a
bunker by 80 feet, sailed on and on,
and when il landed, rolled along until
it lay on the green.
Lay down, boy; lay down and die"
yelled the delighted golfer. pounding
his caddy on the back. IF you lived
10 be a thousand you'll never see a
greater shot than that"
An old Irishman who used to caddy
for a doctor, became i'll. The medical
party prescribed for him. Several
days later the doctor met the caddy.
How are you coming along" he
asked
Fine" was the answer.
Are you following my orders-four
pills a day and bit of whisky at
night?"
We'll, DOCTOR" answered the irish
man hesitaUingly, I'm a bit behind
with the pills but I'm about five weeks
ahead with the whisky"
The fat golfer lost his temper after
slashing a half dozen times away at
bad lie and exclaimed:
III make hat hole If have TO stay
here a week.
please, sir" spoke up the caddy.
"am l hired sir, by the round or by
the hour?"
We'll. 1 guess Smith and I busted
all existing gOlfing records this after
noon," remarked Jones, walking into
the club house after a game.
"Zatso?" asked several club men,
bers.
yep. Smith made the first hole in
O today and | made it in l." was the
amazing answer.
What's that?" gasped his auditors.
Smith made the first hole in o? Why,
man, you're nutty-"
Smith made the first hole in o.
and l am not nutty." retorted Jones.
Il know DOGGY on that hole is 3--but
Smith made it in and L made it
in l."
How did you 10 it?"
We'll, 1 was Iirst to drive. I got
off a beautiful smash, the ball hit a
rock about half way along, got a new
impetus. bounded along until it hit
the green and then dropped into the
cup"
THAT accounts for you making the
hole in one but" broke in Jones
auditors, but Jones checked them.
That doesn't do anything of the
sort" he answered. THAT really ac-
counts for how Smith made the hole
in because the ball 1 drove was
Smiths ball l drove his ball through
error.
We'll, then, Smith can't be credited
with making the ball in o." said the
others.
Cant. eh?" broke in Jones. "Well
he can-and he has. His ball was in
the hole. wasn't it? And he hadn't
taken even one shot at it, had he? If
his ball was in the cup and he hadn't
taken a stroke that means he went
down in 0, doesn't it,
Guess you're right" reluctantly
agreed his auditors. But how about
you going down in -
We'll. after we discovered that L
drove Smiths ball / then drove my
own 1t landed near the green a
cat came along and began playing
with il. She rolled il along until it
got near the center of the green, and
thor, rolled IL in the hole. 7 was down