The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-01
(contlnuedoz

guste' s energy. common sense and force of character to keep him and the two chips he carries on his shoulders as defiance to the world in general fTem being in a constant state of com bustion. He has been ostensibIy the mayor of sGIendale for twenty-five years, and Aunt Augusta has done the work of the office very well indeedl while he has blown up things in gen eral with great energy He couldn't dFlw a long breath without her, but of course he doesn;t realize it. He thinks he is in constant feud with her and her sex His ideas on the wo- man question are 90 terrific that I have always run from them, but I concluded : that it would be d good thing for ne to liquefy some of my vague humani- tarianism and help Aunt Augusta with him while she wrestles with the city council on the water question. Any fohdness for the old chap
 chose a time when I knew Aunt Augusta had to be busy with his re- port of the disastrous concrete paving trade the whole town had been sold out on. and I lay in wait to capture liira and the chips. This morning I waited behind the old purple lilac at the gate, which immediately got into the game by sweeping its purple plum cd arms all around me. so that not a tag Of my dindity alarmed him as he came slowly down the street.
 Uncle Peter said as stepped out in front of him suddenly; please. Uncle Peter. won't you come in and talk to mea''
 ssHey? EveIina 9''
 Yes, Uncle Peter; it's Evelina,' ,'' and l hesftated with terror at the snap in his dear old eyes back under their white brows Then I let my. eyes un- cover my heart full of the elixir had prepared for him and offered him as much as he~could drink.
 .'I'm lonely said, with a little catch in my voice.
 Lonely, hey? ?' he grumbled, but his feet hesitated opposite my gate
 Tn about two and a half minutes had him seated in a cushioned rocker on the south side of the porch. Jasper had given Us both a mint juIep,1 and Uncle Better was much less thirsty than he bad been for a long time Aunt Augusta is as temperate in all things asa steel ranrod.
 You see,. Uncle Peter I needed you so that I just had to> zidnap you.'' I said to him as he wiped his lips with n pocket handkerchief as stifHy starch ed as was his wife herself
 Why didn't you go over and live in James hennery-1ive with James hey2" he snapped with the precision of q pistoK cap.
 To be just, I suppose Aunt Angus ta's adamant disposition accounts to some extent for Uncle Peters explo- sfve way of thinking and speaking A husband would have to knock Aunt Augustus nature down to make any Impression whatever on it.. Uncle Pe- ter always has the air of firing an idea and then ducking his head to avoid the return shot
 +His house is so full, and I need a lot of space to carry on my work I answered him, with the words I have used@so ofteA in the last two weeks that they start to come when the Petu- mia asks me if want waf1es or batter cakes for supper.
 'sWell, Sa1lie Carruthers will get him and then there'H be a dozen more to run the measure over-children- hey !? All girIss A woman like SalIie would not be content with producing less than dozen of her kind, hey
 His chuckle was so contagious that couldn't help but join him, though 1 didn't like it so very much But why shouldn't I? Sa1lie is such a gorgeous woman that a dozen of her in the next generation will be of value to the state. Still. I didn't like it. I didn't enjoy thinking of Cousin James as so serving his country
 sCarruthers left her to James. Hell r--
 toes in good time. Piled rotten old business and big family on to James shoulders. and then died-good time hey. tIet a woman on your nanos, only thing to do is to marry or kill her. Poor James-hey ?'' He peered at me with twinkle in his eyes that de xnanded assent from me.
 why Uncle Peter, don't know that Sa1Iie has any such idea She grieyes dreadfully over MT. Carruthers, and don't believe she would think of mar rying again" answered. trying to put enough warmth in my defense to con vince myself
 sMost women are nothing but gourd vines, grow all over . cornstalks kill it, produce gourds until it frosts and begin all over again in the next gen eration. James. has to do the hoeing around Sali1e S roots and feed her Might as well marry her, hey?'
 .sDoes-does Cousin James have to support SaIlie ana the children. Uncle Peterg' I asked, coming with reluc- tance down to the rock bed of the dis c1sszon.
 Thinks he does. and it serves him Fight-serves him right for starting out to rim q widow ranch in the first place. It's like making a collection of old shoes. He let Henry Carruthers per srade him to mortgage everything and buy land on Che river for the ear shops of the new railroad. which just fooled the town out of $10O,000 and is going by on the other side of the river with the shops up at Bolivar If James didn't get all the Eawing in Alton coun-