davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09

we hasten to second the motion" No girl should be in a hurry to get married. Especially at this time of the year when if she waits but a few weeks longer there will be hundreds, yea thousands, to whom she can pro- pose under the cloak of leap-year. After setting up his Stop, Look and Listen" sign on the road to matrimony the pastor, we had almost forgotten to record his name-Dr w. B. Hinson- delves into the really interesting part of his discourse and sets forth the kind of a man a woman should marry. And when all the frills and furbelows have been taken off the poor unsuspecting man, here Is what is presented: He must be worth while morally. If cor nered he would not lie, or bite, or bait or bribe. He should not have a brow on which nature had written Nobody Home," or Rooms to Let" He should be spiritually, physically, and intellectually a man. And fur ther. he should not be tailors model nor wear a tie loud enough to rival a circus band. Whether he be a tall man, a short man, or whether his physical adornments and attractions run to the lean and lank or to the stout and stubby the pastor does not say. All he wants him to be is a man, a real live honest-to goodness man.
 1I- husband of xantippe, poor old Socra- tes, poured out philosophy the while he evaded copious quantities of dishwater hurled by the shrew, the Portland, Oregon, paragon of pastorship brings from the dust of oblivion the ancient proverb, Marry in haste, repent at leisure" Pointing out the necessity of care in selecting mate he warns that "you have to walk a long road together when you're married" a long, long journey that has no ending but death. And there are many sad miles on this long road. Happily married as you may be, some days will be dark and dreary. There will be sickness, sorrow, disappointment, cross pur- poses along that road, and for those sad miles a woman needs a man walk ing along beside her,-not the carica- ture of a man." Bringing the pastors remarks out of the somber solemnity of clerical garb and dressing them in the carefree clothing of the motley merrymakers we should say that whatever brass bands play on that long, long road which he describes know but one and only one tune: "It's a Long, Long Way to Trip With Harry"
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
On Opening Oysters.
(New Haven UniOn.)

Ever since the days of the Quin- nipiac Indian people around here have been opening oysters by knock ing off the edge of the shell and pry- ing open the covers with a knife. Such is a habit. As oyster eaters we have been unimaginative. We have not tried very hard to improve on the Indian method of dragging the re- tiring bivalve from his lair.
 But out in Ohio they breed men with a genius for invention, and Hudson, Ohio, has produced man who has applied his mind to the oy- ster opening problem. This is the result. He began with a well known adage, Music hath charms to sooth the savage breast Having tried to open his Blue Points Cor perhaps they were local Oyster PointsD he dis covered that unless one has had some practice he is likely to bang thumb or amputate a finger in the process. Believing that in it's native haunts the Oyster was a savage and taking it for granted that therefore it must have a breast, he decided that by putting two and two together he ought to try music on the sulky ami mals. So he set a pan of oysters in front of his $15 photograph and let loose a rare collection of ragtime. Low and behold, his ingenuity was re- warded. The bivalves immediately opened their shells and submitted kindly to removal to less exclusive apartments This information he has not sought to turn into cash so does not object to having it passed a hout by the press. Orher them in the shell and prove it for yourself.
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
My life, by Sir Hiram Maxim.

My life. by Sir Hiram Maxim.
 s:Rather full descriptions of ms many inventions, the author prefaces with an account of his early ana strenuous career in this country ana supplements with impressions or later travels. The whole is characterizeo by a self-assured manner, abounds in anecdotes, and is readable."-A. l.. A. Booklist.
 Rhymes of a rolling stone, by R. w.
 Service.
 Song, its birth, evolution, and func-
 tions, by c. P. Upton.
 "A popular work, tracing the evo- lution of the song and then dis cussing the various sorts - love, sen- timent, patriotic, negro, sea hunting and drinking, and sacred-in each group quoting the popular songs or the different countries. An appendix lists the best known old songs in English under the same grouping. A. l.. A. Booklist. Spell of the Yukon, by R. W. Ser
 vice.
 MT. Robert Service is, we suppose, one of the most popular verse writ CTS in the korld. His swinging meas ures, his robust ballads of the out posts, his joy of living have fairly caught the ear of his countrymen. ."-- Spectator.
 Spies and secret service, the story
 of espionage it's main systems and
 chief opponents, by Hamil Grant. Voice from the crowd, by c. w. Pep per- Lyman Beecher lectures on preaching.)
 At the sign of the Refine Pedanque, ! by Anatole France,
 Double road, by Michael Wood. Hearts steadfast, by E. Moffatt. Jan, a dog and a romance, by A. J.
 Dawson.
 Kiss and other stories, by A. P.
 Tchekhov.
 Record No. 33, by Ida Clyde Clark What a man wills, by Mrs. Geo Vaizey.
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
LOG OF THE OSCAR ?.
Fording the Atlantic.

F'ording the Atlantic.
 Only a few days from Ararat If we had a hydroplane handy I might send out one of the chickens in the party. Bet her twig of olive would be a new gown from Paris
 P. T. Barnum and I would have made great team. I agree with him in everything he ever said although sometimes I am forced against my natural inclinations to place some stock in what Lincoln said about fool ing all of the people all of the time.
 When I am gone people will re- member me as the man who put the ace in peace.
 Some men were born great, others acquire greatness-and still others hire good press agents.
 High waves, poor food, constant chatter, lonesomeness, wind, sea sickness. no ewspapers-Sherman was right.
 Am thinking of naming my 1915
 
 model "The Bryan" It promises 10 be such a noisy thing.
 Informed that all employees of my factory in Manchester, England, have walked out and gone to war. How they do love their little boss.
 Told the captain of the Oscar T would present him with one of my automobiles. Overheard him later ask the first mate 1T wonder what that nut Ford has against me-"
 Inspected the innards of the ship today and was greatly interested in the engines. Informed the skipper I could make 'em myself thereby get ting back at him for telling me it was three bells by the larboard watch"
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
No Pink OveraIls for Us!
(Kansas City Star.)

Good-by, blue jeans, g-g-good-by! No more blue dyes from Germany, no more blue overalls and jumpers. Hickory shirts gone, coonskin caps gone, butternut overcoats gone, and now blue jeans.
 There, there, says F. R. Hambur- ger, secretary of the National as- sociation of Garment Workers, don't take on so, we can give you pink overalls.
 No you cant. Not the free Ameri- can people. In the first place, there is no such thing. It's Q contradict tion of terms. There might be fl pink ocean, or pink moon. There might even be pink bandanna hand kcrchief, but overalls, MT. Hambur ger, arc blue. Did you ever see an engineer on the Santa Fe wearing mink ovaralls2 Ma pos h4a ~a.. aian,t
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09


 erations."
 With the Servian army of the north drawing its lines in upon the ancient battle-ground of Kossovo, the bitter struggle in the Balkan kingdom is gathering upon a field sacred to the Muse of History: for the Servians fought their greatest battle of Kosso- vo, ventured their all to stem the ad- vancing Ottoman, and there saw their empire smashed beyond repair. Kossovo was fought on August 27, 1889. No event in all their history has left such an impression upon the Serb mind as this field, whose results were so fateful to their state. AL ! though a losing battle, it was the great battle of the Servians; the flower of their aristocracy remained upon the field: their Tsar was killed, and their independence was lost for nearly five centuries.
 The battlefield itself is a long val ley lying west of Prishtina, and it's plain is called the Field of Black birds It lies almost in the heart of present-day Servia, being about 125 miles from Monastir and 150 miles from Belgrade. Thirty miles behind the plain of Kossovo runs the borders of modern Montenegro, while to the west of the plain and the town. Prish- tina, runs the Morava river valley and the Uskup- Mitrovitza railway. The plain is watered by the Sibnitza, a tributary of the Ibar It is fruitful, rolling and banked in by mountains, in which are located some of the mines famous in Roman times and during the early Middle Ages.
 Lazarus, Tsar of Servia, command ed in person on the field of Kossovo, and to him was opposed the brilliant conqueror, Murad I, Sultan of the Turks. The advantages of numbers and of position lay with the Servian army but these advantages were more than offset by the skillful tactics of the Turkish commanders and the tra- ditions of victory behind the Turkish soldiers. Tsar Lazarus had an army of 100000 Serbs, Hungarians, Molda- vians. and Walachians, while the sul- tan commanded a force of but 10000 The day was decided by the brilliant fierce charge led by Yildeprim Bayezid and nightfall found the Servian army entirely cut to pieces. Murad I, as well as the Servian Tsar. was killed upon this field, which, if anything, is one of the most celebrated and legen-sur- rounded battlegrounds in all the Ball. kans"
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09

Did you ever see a steel worker put on a pair of pink overalls, astride a beam 300 feet up in the air catch a red hot rivet in a tin cap? No, and a man that would wear pink overalls couldn't do it. You go and find a man with pink overalls on and you'll find a man with a powder puff and a looking glass in his pocket. Yes, and a wrist watch on and garters.
 This country was made, MT. Ham- burger by red-fsted men in blue overalls off when the job was done and put on broadcloth and silk socks. Some even put on diamonds and overcoats with astrakhan collars. None of them put on pink pants ex- cept when they went to bed. They were Americans, you see.
 If the name Hamburger is to be- come a revered household word- in this country it will not be through the introduction into American life of pink overalls. We are an easy going people and most anybody can run anything over on us so long, us they buy our goods, but we haven't yet come to the point where a man by the name of Hamburger can tell US we have got to wear pink overalls.
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09

Washington, D. C., Dec. 9.-"Slav-
 cry never existed under the Servian
 state, and Servian emperors in Eu-
 ropes youth made protests in be-
 half of individual liberty the subject
 of intefnational communications" says the fastest primer of the Ma
 tional Geographic society, which tells
 of some early Servian traits that il- lustrate how naturally this people came by their passionate love of free dom.
 "The Serb, like all of his Slav broth CTS, has been believer in the equal
 ity of men from his appearance in
 history. This belief has been main
 tained by him, despite his long-con
 tinued contact with autocratic Byzan- tium and the Ottoman empire The empires to the south of Servia were mostly the strongholds of privileged
 rank and subservient masses, while the sturdy Slavs in the north jealously guarded the rights and the dignity of
 the individual.
 Etiquette at the Byzantine court demanded that the great noble who
 came into the presence of the em- peror should bow, knecl and kiss tho , emperor's thigh and knee The man of low degree who reached his ru- ler's presence had to grovel prostrate on the earth before him. The noble at the Servian court greeted his soV- ereign erect, while each kissed the
 other on his temple. Even the com
 moner stood erect before his ruler, following the ceremonial of kissing the rulers hand.
 Hereditary titles have played but small part in life in Servia and besides the head man of federated clans, the despot, king, emperor or pr1nce-tls the heads of the Servians have ranked birth in a caste has conformed few
 privileges.
 The Servian has stubbornly main taincd his right to a part in his gov ernment. All classes of his nation have always possessed hereditary
 property rights, and the right to trial by jury. From earliest times, they | enjoyed local self-government, and l administered their town and village affairs.
 "The great noble of the empire | was privileged before the law in that | he could not only be called upon to l appear before a court in the morn , ing, never in the afternoon; but this | privilege did not give him any i'm munity from punishment for his l crime.
 Nor did the Servan church ever ! attain the dominant ascendency over | it's subjects that was won by the i church in other lands. It was estab-
 lished as a public utility, and it's du- ties to the people were closely defined i in the old Servian codes. Thus, tho | monasteries were bound to feed the | hungry, to take in the sick and to 1 give hospitality to the traveller. More | over, the Doushan code says:-"The
 monk shall possess nothing and shall 1 not have in his cell even a needle and thread without having received it in l Eencdiction from the Old One" (ie. the l AbbotO.
 ] While the Serb has never been ! the victim of a too strong social or ganization, with it's attendant special l ization of classes. he has been, in i many instances, the victim of too l great individual freedom, of an in dividual freedom that has deprived 1 his state of sufficient organized l strength wherewith to repel the for | eign enemy. Again. his brave insis-
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
WHY THEY FAILED.
No Certificates Given to Authors of
 Following Replies.
(New York American.)

(New York American.)
 Following are some replies receiv- ed by the University of the State of New York in examinations for re- gents certificates. Among those who wrote the replies were candidates Tor teachers positions, for qualification as law and medical students and TOT admission to colleges:
 The chamois is valuable for its feathers, the whale for its kerosene oil.
 The feminine gender of friar Is toastress.
 There were no Christians among the early Gauls. They were mostly lawyers.
 Climate is caused by the emotion of the earth around the sun. Geometry teaches us how to bisect angels. The purpose of the skeleton-some- thing to hitch meat to- The skeleton is what is left after
 the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. blizzard is the inside of a hen. A vacuum is a large empty space
 where the Pope lives. A circle is a round straight line with hole in the middle. When Cicero delivered his oration l he was prefix George Washington married Mar tha Curtis and in due time became the father of his country. sixty gallons make one hedgehog. The stomach is just south of the ribs.
 The alimentary canal is located in
 the northern part of Indiana. The rosetta stone was a missionary to Turkey. The government of England is 0 limited mockery. Georgia was founded by people who had been executed. A mountain pass is a pass given
 by the railroad to it's employees so that they can spend their vacation in the mountains.
 A mountain range is large cook ctove.
 school meeting are that he must be Achilles was dipped in the river Styx to make him immoral. Gender shows whether a man is feminine masculine or neuter. Gravitation is that if there were
 none we should fly away. The function of the stomach is to hold up the petticoats. The stomach forms a part of the 1 Adams apple. The first governor of Massachusetts was Mir Salem Witchcraft. When the British got up in the morning and saw the Americans on the opposite hill they threw up their
 breakfasts (breastworks) Pompeii was destroyed by an erup- tion of saliva from the Vatican. A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars and eight cuspidors. Weapons of the Indian-bow, ar row, tomahawk and war-hoop. Typhoid fever is prevented by fas- cination.
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
Exit Villa.
(Meriden Record.)

No more striking evidence of tho( mushroom growth of Mexico's soldieryI could be afforded than the history ot Francisco Villa provides.
 Comparatively speaking, it was ohly( q short time ago that the press was teeming with incidents concerning this man. He was the central figure. more picturesque and more forceful in spots than Carranza and more appeal ing though more brutal The Very insolence of his rise was enough toi compel attention and a certainI quality of big heartcdness attracted al kind of admiration.
 The sky rocket sort of existence he| had always led made one interested inl bis temporary power. That he wasl bound to ride to a fall seemed inevi- table, but his unusual characteristica| sustained the curiosity of the public until his power began to dwindle.
 According to dispatches, this speci1 \ men of the earth, earthly, who d few months ago was threatening the| very life of Mexico, has now been re T duced to the gutter. 1t is not Villa s1 makeup to disappear from the fieldl of operations gracefully. He will dieI with his boots on" and won't bother| to have them polished, either. Kroml a general of big body of men, Villa, his degenerated into a chief of gueril | las and he will continue this mode o4 warfare unless he decides to jump tn < country and take possession of thd money which he must have put ava for such an untoward event as tha4 which is now shaping itself.
 Villas metioric career shows sign4 of nearing its end. 1t has been
 short life, merry and hard and had the same restless energy and i'll spen forcefulness been applied in legitinatf channels under proper supervision,
 near-great character might have re suited As t is this soldier of for tune will go down into history as
 fly by night
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
[E MAN YOU OUGHT TO MARRY,

EWhen Portland, Oregon, relaxes for
 e moment from its strenuous com
 tition with Portland, Maine, the far #estern city usually compels the at
 ntion of the entire United States.
 or at such instances great happenings
 e very likely to be writ on the turn
 page of Time and the nation must beds see what is to be inscribed. |apsing into one of these happy at Ftudes not long ago the Oregon Port Ind unearthed a minister with bessage, a doctrine he flung forth rom his modest pulpit in the Ore |onian steadfastness but withal a bit If philosophy that will reverberate |round the world from now until the Ear in Europe is over and then on own the aisle of Time until the crack Pf Doom's Day sounds over the hori- lon. It is a delicate piece of advice tent forth to the young girls of the nation and of the world. It has to do with their selecting mates for their through these somewhat may and misty passageways here be- low "@
 First of all, the pastor starts out with an admonition. Don't be in a hurry to get married--know the man you marry-but, above all, marry a man. are his opening remarks and
New Britain herald., 1915-12-09
THE CONGRESS OF THE NATION.

THE CONGRESS OF THE NATION.
 Because the present session of Con- gress will be the melting pot from which must come the vital issues for the next presidential campaign, there is more interest being evinced in it's workings than has been attendant upon the national legislators and con- gressional proceedings for some years The contests that will be staged in the two houses of Congress during the stormy days ahead will make history. The Federal Administration will ever have it's policies buffeted and kicked about the arena by partisan foes look ing for political advantage. This Congress will produce big men if big men are ever to be produced in this country. There never was more fit ting time, a more suspicious occasion. The entire nation is on edge and men who have previously paid no attention to national politics are watching the every move of their representatives at Washington, the men in the Senate and the House. This is true in every ! village. hamlet and city in the coun- try.
 And, as if to add more zest to the l political battle, the electors of the Union were fortunate enough at the last polls to so distribute the honors among the two great parties that a close contest must inevitably take place over all big questions It is in the House of Representatives that this condition is so manifest. There are l in that body 229 Democrats, 197 Re- 1 publicans, six Progressives, one Inde- 1 pendent, and one Socialist. There is
 one vacancy, caused by death. From that political lineup it is seen that
 the Democrats have but thirty three
 plurality over the straight Republi- ! cans Anytime these latter gentle
 men wish to join with their Pro-
 gressive friends, and others, or vice versa, in battle array against the Jeff
 fersonian tribe, the plurality of the
 democrats will be immediately hewed
 down to scant twenty-five. Granted
 there may be at times dissention in
 the ranks of Democracy and a few
 sheep go over to the Republican side
 there will be deadlock at will. The
 work of the Democratic leaders is all
 cut and dried. The chairmen of com.
 mittees will have good winters work
 ahead of them, for any measures they
 present to the House must be very
 carefully edited, pruned cut down
 dressed up, made presentable in the
 very best fashion. There can be nc
 rough-riding in this session of the , sixty-fourth Congress. And it is 2 . good thing for the country at large that this is so. For this above al times is when the nation must have
 it's interests looked after. With ar almost perfect balancing of politica power such as holds forth in the lower chamber of the national Congress. there is great hope that everythins
 will come out all right Is4