davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

! doubtless Will bs also. Up to the
free to, crltIcise the administration
| found lous of fault. others did ana
wondered why in Halifax il wouldn't
do things my wa My kicking stop
ped with my appointment and I began
the work of making others stop as
well | may tell YOU this has been .
| freshly skinned most Of the time. but
the day has arrived in Jericho when
man who wants to criticise this
| great and glorious government. goes
out behind his hen-roost and talks TO
himself.
When Huerta refused to salute the
American flag. and told President Will
son to go to Texas. or some warmer
climate. and be hanged to him. Squar'
Brown: who is the justice of the peace.
came Into the postoftice and pounded
on the wall with his fist and yelled at
Pap Pinkham. is this the Unitea
Have we got a President he con-
tinged. as he pounded some more.
Has he got any backbone
He has"
Then why in thunder don't he send
low, Huerta. devil Of a whopping?"
"Mebbe he will"
But when
"Probab bly, when the mud dries up
and the walking gets good"
Pap rG Ptpkhami lHnmi he he T0aPed as she he
has been insulted. Washington has
| been Insulted. The bones of our dead
patriots. who died for our flag have
to b. wiped out in blood. II the Presi
dent won't do it. will you
I'll see about it," says l.
oh. you will sre and the President
will see and the army and navy will
see. and nothing will he done Pap.
of Office
Five or six persons had come in and
heard all he said. and ] made up my
Therefore l jumped into the corridor
and grabbed the Squar' by the collar
The squar' is a chunky. red haired
man and he has never been known TO
run away from row. We had IT hot
then her 's;SS the biz Bird Of liberty. emers@d
with a black eve and bleeding lip.
but with victory on his banner, The
SIuar' came round next day and hand
somely apologized. and there has been
no open criticism since
Mr. Postmaster General. in reply to
your circular. and trusting that you
will say. that If every postmaster in
the United States was. doing his duty
by his government and climbing
cial ladder. as fast as am, this sure
ly would he happy nation.
There is to be great religious re-
vival here this winter. and. of course.
I shall represent the government &c
the best of my ability.
II may be that complaint was sent
in TO YOU some time since that I was
president of a poker club. That part
Of the complaint is true. but If il
stated that l played poker III two
ways filled a straight or a flush. paw
no attention to it. whatever. because II
was born of enmity. and malice. l am
more often found in nv own house
reading the Holy Scriptures. than in
some back room playing penny ante
with gang of men. who do not be-
lieve in the hereafter.
Mrs Pinkham joins with me In
sending respects.
OLD PAP PINKHAM.
The Model Postmaster
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

Mr.. Bowser ! want to know why
you eXa ggerate the way YOU do. 1t is
getting 10 be something shameful and
it has got TO stop"
What do you mean. woman" he ex-
claimed as he suddenly reused up.
Il will tell you what | mean. sir
One evening about six weeks ago our
minister and his wife called. purInE
the conversation he mentioned that
a friend OF his passed through the hre
in the North woods of Canada TWO or
three years ago. He said that his
friend saw two black bears with their
fur ahre. You remember. don't you"
Yes. | remember.
And you at once turned around and
said that while you and Companlon
were out in the Rocky Mountains
hunting. a forest fire took place at
night You knew nothing ABOUT it.
until -he tent was burning over your
heads. The other man had already suf-
foCated. but YOU rolled out or the
Il mes and ran seven miles. Then YOU
stopped 70 draw a long breath, and
YOU found that your eyebrows hhc
been sinCed off. Your ears h!lster-c
t,Ie soles of your shoes burned throug
m seven different places You had just
started to run another seven miles,
when a huge grizzly bear approa"hed
hat YOU might mount to his back. You
did SO. and he carried you to safety
and licked your burned ears before
S-ory Mr.. Rowser. didn't y"u
Il did" he calmly replied.
Il was looking at our callers IS
Won related il. and their faces told
me that they believed it all mon
Strous lie"
Well. | can't help that
II was one evening an@uf t3ur
weeks ago that Mr.. BasComh ana ms
wife called He and you got to talk
ing about the war and he saId that
during the civil war he captured nine
of the enemy with only club IN his
hand. and was made an ott1Cer r"r
doing. He told thal hlih = U'' MI
EOwser?
And then you had 10 have Your
innings. YOU related that during the
Boer war you We're commander OF
RTitish man-of-war. At daylight one
morning as you were cruising around
YOU saw Boer warshlp three or lour
miles away She also saw you. ana en-
deavored to escape hut you Sn. rgt on on
,ta m-bite Hag of surrender. but you
paid no attention 70 ls, it, '.a .Sus "reSfa Sfe
tre,, 70 the bottom in five minutes.
CARVING with her her crew Of 100"
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

off iii 7 can get my wind They are
Ih"yenn-s. and have killed my brother
Thr"" ,oung bucks. on foot had been
in chase OF the fugitive. and they were
within 20 feet Of ME as | rose M The
lev"led rIfie brought them to a sudden
halt. and, after gazing at me for A mo.
mont. they turned and descended the
ridge to JON the others. Ny visitor lay
down ard II Was riVc minutes before he
could get his breath TO explain.
we We're out looking for cattle which
stampeded from our emigrant camp on
the Saline Fork. These hrutes killed nv
brother and took me prisoner This was
Yesterday. and about a mile below here
they had gone into camp and built a fire
TO torture me, when / made a break
Give me Your revolver. for they will be
sure to charge u.s.
l gave him one of the weapons. and
soon after an Indian appeared on the
foot of the ridge. made signs of peace
and asked for talk. Those on the Level
below ME drew away about forty rods 10
convince me that they meant fair play
and ! left my shelter and advanced a
few PAGES 10 ask the errand of the young
warrior While l was thus engaged the
man behind ME was rolling the loose
rocks together to strengthen the posi-.
ton.
The redskin said he came to demand
a prisoner; They had no quarrel with
me. but the prisoner had shot one OF
their number in cold blood and must die.
They only asked for justice. had their
word that / might ride away i'm safety
but the prisoner they would have at any
sacrifice. ! did not wait an instanst be-
fore replying that the man would not be
given up. and that / was ready for any
move on their part TO take him. The
buck had left his rife behind him, and
I stood there apparently unarmed As a
matter of fact each of us had a revolver
We were about half a pistol shot away
from each other. and as | gave him my
ultimatum, he half turned, whipped out
a revolver. and fired bullet which
Passed within en- inch of my head dc
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05
Why Bovser Exaggerates
Mrs. Bowser Demands to KnolD

! wolves, but she did know her son
Sammy from head to heels. At this
critical point. Mr.. Bowser you must
have noticed that Mr. Green went to
the front door to see if it was rain
ing: He was gone about FIVE minutes.
and must have had FIVE hearty laughs
twi1ching a s he came in"
laugh" remarked Mr. Bowser.
thad fourth h9r dh9 ffh Wof howl how of
only smiled in dlsdain. Your mother
heard them. too. but she did not even
stop her knitting. AS you moved slow
ly up the river whistling as you went.
there came more howls until YOU final
ly estimated the number of wolves
| at fifteen Then. of a sudden a pack
ed out upon the ice and with foam
! f1ecked jaws and clashing fangs rush
ed upon you. Was Samuel Bowser
there to be pulled down and made
/ were you, Mr. Bowser2"
i don't remember that I was" he
replied
No. You were scooting up the river.
self with the savage brutes. You let
them come so near the foam few on
your coat tails. but at no time We're
YOU in danger
/ horse, but when they get hold of
young Samuel BowSer they lost their
job After he had drawn them fifty
miles up the river they began to
wheeze and pant and tire out Then
three or four of the pack turned back
10 look for an easier chicken roost.
speed and spirit How far did YOU lead
those wolves up the river, Mr.. Bow
Never mind that" was the reply.
Il think YOU SAID l5O miles II was
then coming day light. and YOU want
ed to have some fun with those wolves
You circled around them. You pulled
tail and swung them about. You gave
them an occasional kick. You drove
them before you TO the starting point
booted them into the woods where
they fell down eXha Your r7other
had not been alarmed over your a b.
senCe hut she had come down 10 the
bank Of the river to see if any musk
rats were playing around She held
OUT her arms to you and called you
tinued that wolf story for another
hour but the Greens rose up and said
they must go home on account of the
ba by. and they went heard them
laughing all the way home
Il will see Green tomorrow and asN
him what they were laughing about"
said Mr.. Bowser.
You needn't as,t see him They we're
place. no riv1r in Florida ever freezes
hard enough TO hear the weight of a
hab by. and ; living boy or man ever
skated $50 miles without a stop. There
were var; Us other flaws in your story
and eve an idiot could have told that
there " .sn't word of truth in it. Mr..
Rowse why do you tell these false
hoods Don't you know that it is
very embarrassing for me. and that
YOU will soon get the reputation of
be- .g the biggest liar in four States?
w ~ do you do it,
"Well, Mrs. Bowser." answered Mr.
Sowser after hesitating,, for. long
sort of a man who will let another
man come into my house. and sit face
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

tben uttered a yell and started 10 run
h,,. he u.as too late Ny bullet struck
hin, under the right arm and went clean
.hro,,.b hin, and he fell and curled up
hv a boulder to die.
The situation was understood ny the
Indians below me almost instantly. ana
the entire crowd dismounted ana 'haF
l,n the ridge. 1t was a very toollsh move
on their part. and proved the eNGltaeiiirS M
~ yornr bucks We had them dead uh-
dar our FIRE. and we killed three or them
with as many bullets ! got pean on
Pawnee's Killers son with my tN",rtI I
as he urged his hesitatlnG nthu ~ pIe'I
IN tho ridge and when he went down l
thought | had killed him. with MS IalI
the lighting ceased. The SURVIVORS mace
a rush for their horses ana men ulSap SII
peared to the east. leaving thr Lo.t 80 ,a,
onas where they had fallen l was puZ-
lied at their conduct. and. AT hrst re-
garded II as a ruse. but when came 10 10
stand up and look around. saw part
of thirteen white men-hunters, urappe ,E- -.
stockmen and adventurers-conlinS up
from the north on their way to the tort.
The name of the man who so cleNerly
escaped was Austin Brice, ana lor the
AZ the fort. He had not shot an Indian.
as stated by the fiag-of-truce bearer, nut
the murder of his brother was entirely
unprovoked and cold-blooded. ana the
Indians meant 10 torture MN W NSa'i
The bullet which struck the young
chief did not kill him. as l at tirst sup
posed 1t struck him alongside the nose.
ran down the corner of his mouth. foi-
lowed the line of his lips down to the
left-hand corner, and passed over his
chin. The result gave him a most horri-
bile looking mouth. making him an object
Of rjdicule and contempt. And he not
only swore to have my life. but Pawnee
Killer proclaimed the fact that he would
give tive ponies and revolver to any
on. who would bring him my scalp
Therefore, while actual hostilities had
not vet begun, there was price set upon
my head. and was in more danger than
If the redskins were on the Warpath.
The FIRST attempt was made about two
weeks after the fight on the ridge. A Sioux
indisn, who claimed to have been out
iawed from his tribe, because he favored
peace with the whites. came into Fort
Havs. ostensibly for protection. He had
no weapons. seemed to be honest and
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05
THE DISPATCH RIDER
By M Quad

In TIE IA! q '.tr.. Will was attached
tn For HsNS A. = coyernriort scout and
drs?ar,.. rId"r ;ho SiouX and Chel enres
'r;- r"ms"1iiarlng To- the war which
si"-reI IN the sprrsc Bands Of straGGlerS
wcr.. lIG.ns anouf the country. stealing
4id ruurGer1nI Whenever opportunity Of
f.r, d. and one dav in October. while re-
VI nrnc - the fort from long tide to
b.. north. aIter some missing horses |
-nerunt. .,.l on" Of the predatory bands.
I numbered twelN" mon. and tho son of
ne Chey enn" chief. knoMn as Pawnee
\ill"r. n command. Whii,A NHr had not
0"en declared. and while the Indians did
rot hesitate to appear at the forts and
radlng posts. some one was heing butch
red every day. | had been on the watch
~ providers. and was as Well prepared
one could he. l had Il Winchester and
NO revolvers. and the only drawback
as that hnf found two horses and had
a"m with me. As they would not drive
had ropeG them together and then
laGe them fast 10 my saddle.
was skirtiny . long. narrow ridge
hadlv broken by outcroppinss of roel.
md the time was o'clock in the after
noon. All of a sudden ] caught sight OF
IrGIans. half n mile away, and coming
zap the same side OF the range Indeed.
! heard them yelling before ! saw them,
and turned sharply 20 the left and forced
the horses Up III" ridge among Il mass of
houlders. The redskins caught sight OF
ilr. Us | went up. but did not Immediate
~ approach. | could see that they were
confused and a dozen or more shots wers
hred, and / was puZZlinE over the matter
when i heard some ono clatterins aver
the STONY ground ahI INC next moment
nc-voUsly exclaimed:
STRANGE. Tor Gods sake stand en-,
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

! Mike. the champion lightweight OF
America. Lift up that glass. l say
What for"
SO that ! can see if my mustache has
grown any in the last two weeks |
was on nv way :" saloon TO gaze into
the bar glass. and this saves nin the
trouble I'm I'm That's a going to be
dandy mTstache in about four weeks
more There now. l haven't hurt Your
old glass any. have II Next time YOU
meet a lightweight don't be so othsh
with him. He might give you an upper
4 cut that would send YOU to an early
; grave.
Humph Skinner waited on the next cor
ner ard puzzled over the sudden dis
appearance Of the old woman. As he
waited. citizen and policeman came
along walking at fast pace. but as they
caught sight Of him and his glass. the
citizen called out. in great excitement:
Why. here is the young scOundrel.
now. and he has my property with him
Boy" said the officer. he laid
hand on his shoulder. This man keeps
a second hand store two blocks down.
You were hanging around there about
an hour ago. This glass set on the side
walk at the door. You stole it and made
off
No. sir, No sir" protested the
frightened hoy. and he proceeded to tell
the story of the old woman
Are You sure YOU saw this hoy hang.
Ing around Your store asked the Of
ncer OF the man. when the story had
been finished.
why. II think So was the reply.
Thinking 50 don't make il so Wa:
there any one else whom YOU can suS-
peCt 2"
NY hov says he saw an old woman
looking a roCkIns-Chair.'
But she didn't steal the chair
Then she stole the glass. Come along
with us. boy, and see if We can't run
across her"
The. three walked, around for a quar-
ter of an hour. and then half block
away. Hunph caught sight of an old
woman. 1t looked like the old woman
Who had given him the glass to carry,
he wasn't sure. He cried out. however.
and the officer quickened his steps
and grabbed the old woman by the
shoulder and exclaimed:
Here. YOU old thief. I want you"
When the, victim gave a jump of
surprise and turned around, Humph
made This, was a real old lady. and
Perhaps had lust stepped out of the
auto at the C'Irbstone. That was enough
for him He saw hlC row ahead, and
Therefore took to his heels and did
not halt again until he had run five
blocks Then he entered candy store
propretor'S boy at the counter II
was suspicious entrance. and the
clerk took il so. and came out from
Humrh ny the collar and sad:
Been till-tapping. eh?"
No sin. was the reply
How much did you GET
Nothing
"Don'r lie to ne. kid You gor as
much as five dollars Hand it over 10
viii call cop"
Humph skinner drew a long breath.
tore himself loose and made bolt
for the door and down the street. He
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

Mr. Rowser"
Mr. Bowser had read the evening
pa per and finished his cigar and wa.
noddlng in sleep when the voice OF
Mrs Bowser. as above reached his
drowsy ear and gave him a jump.
What is 1t he growled2" as he open.
ed his eyes and scrambled around
I want to talk with you"
Well. go ahead You needn't scare
a man half 10 death because you wan,
to talk with HIM. | was dreaming thar
DR.. Cook and / was searching for the
West pole out in Oregon
Mrs Bowser looked at him for a
minute, and then hogan:
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

straightforward. and all the men had
good word for him. On the third dav he
came to me and asked my assistance to
recover his rife. blanket. a lot of pow
der and lead. and various other articles
which he said he had cached at spot
about twelve miles down the Smoky Hill
Fork in grove. When he described the
spot | remembered II very we'll. and next
morning. having permission of the COM
mandant we set out I was on horse
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05
OLD PAP PMKHAM
What 1t Is to Be a United States Postmaster

When an Odd Fellow dies who rides
with the minister at the head of the
funeral procession? Your postmaster
again.
During last year. seven children and
flve grown folks have died in and
around Jericho. In each and every
case. | have written their obituary and
their ePltaphs for their tombstones
This work was formerly done bv one
of the ministers of the town. but griev-
ing parents now come TO me. and will
go TO no one else. They have tried
TO reward me by handing out quar-
ter. but l have always patted them or
the back and told them this was
paternal government. and that even
with them
This action of mine has greatly con-
tributed TO the reverence and respect
of the government of the United States
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

men Not one of the poor fellows es-
capped, You were made Admiral Bow
ser for your great gallantry. Mr.
Bowser. you reeled that story off as
if you were telling about digging n
woodChuck out of his hole
Yes. il was easy work, he half
yawned
But do you think that either one
OF them believed one single word of
the story? In fact you had only be-
gun il when ! saw Bascomb wink at
his wife. He kept up the winking all
through it. and three or four times
back her glggles and her titters"
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05
THE SKINNER BOY
He Has Adventures With Looking Glass

That skinner hnv Was on his way UP
H.. Street To witness the drowning Of a
at by boy Of MS Acquaintance. when
IL met ala old Won1ar carving booking
gIsss under her arm
The woman was old and lame, and han
very red face on her.
The looking glass had once had Gilt
frame on It, but the cIlt had mostly
disappeared and the glass was cracked
across IL. two places
Humph Skinner was passing right
along wondering how long 1t would take
70 drown a dig. fat rat. a nd now loud he
would squeai. when the old woman
stopped him and said
What a lucky thing that I should
meet good boy like YOU. You look to
me like boy who goes to Sunday school
every Sunday in the year.
"Yes'm,' replied Humrh. although he
knew that ne didn't so five times A wear
and then had to he licked inr" it.
You See this glass. my angel one.
aid the old woman IN wheedling tones
A good woman on Joy street gave It
70 me ana ! started out 10 lug It home.
I is too heavy for me Back there a
me-. l n'.arIy stumbled and sat down
m the glass
..Ycs'rn. and ,ou want something Of
me-"
do honey want dear boy like
:og 10 come along with me- about eight
locks and carry the glass. and never
hink "f 'harslnS nl~ cent for E"uI
services IuSt Inln-. I'm your old
mother and Ne WlIl kip along"
Humph looked at hey. and her red
ace. froWsy hair and greasy old clothes.
md couldn't imagine any such thing
H. H..,. Iotu
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

back. and the Indian on foot I u q my
usual wea pons. while he had ar Army
musket. He gave us his name as Little
Smoke, and was a typical warrtor in
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

Nor = hit. dear mother-rof 2 bit. &c
h. answered. as he stroll-d through
rne house and out into rhe hack ward
10 s-v II anyhodT's goat had jumped
the ailv fence and eaten up his pair
Of stills
The Washington herald., 1915-09-05

to face with me and tell bigger lie
than | can, you had better get aC-
quaiHted with me all over again.
And as Mrs BowSer had not gained
much of a point she said no more. and
Bowser will proba bly, continue to lie
at every favorable opportunity.
Fergus County Democrat., 1915-07-08
Receipts and Disbursements.
NELSON SAW THE HAIR-RAISMC
AUTOMOBILE RACES IN CHICAGO

Nels Nelson, the we'll known Han
son creek rancher, who arrived in
Lewistown Friday after veral
weeks visit in the east was one OF
the 100000 people that packed the
race course at Chicago last week when
Resta, the great French driver, won
the 500-mile auto race, making an
average speed Of over 81 miles per
hour. Mr, Nelson says that the race
was surely a thriller, and some re-
inarkable driving was done.
Nelson also enjoyed seeing Chicago
trim ST. Louis, to 2, in a game in
which some hair-raisin~ stunts were
pulled Off
G. L. F'reidlein and wife, who left
here with Mr.. Nelson, will return in
few days, having stopped off in Min
neapolis for visit Messrs. Freidleir
and Nelson investigated grain condi
tions for the Farmers Elevator com
pany in the twin cities and other east
ern centers.
Fergus County Democrat., 1915-07-08

Al HEtNErkE yHE TURNS FROM
TRIP TO DAWSON AND
FINDS PEOPLE EAGER.
THE COUNTRY IN SPLENDID SHAPE


4 AL Heinecke came in last Monday
from Dawson county, where he has
been for some days looking after his
farunstead in the Soda Springs Sec
tiOn, where number of Lewistown
people have homesteads. Mr.. Helm
ecke made the trip out and in by
auto and took time to look over the
country. Our section of Dawson looks
exceptionally fine this summer" said
Mr. Heinecke. Dawson is pretty we'll
settled up now, from Soda Springs all
the way on east, and it is going to
be . great agricultural region. The
crops are pretty extensive this year
and everything is getting on we'll
garden. fruits and vegetables, as well
40 all kinds of grain.
ylnnett and Grass Range.
Coming into Fergus, the conditions
ip the Winnett section are surpris-
insly, good. There are many splendid
wheat fields and the showing is alto
getfer most satisfactory. From Win
nett on TO Grass Range the grain
seemed to me to average better than
in previous seasons, while between
Grass Range and this city | looked
over some fields of wheat that are
really remarkable.
Ss"Grass Range is very busy little
u,ws5 and Winnett is going right ahead.
All through. that country and on into
Dawson, the first question asked any
one coming. in its always in regard
to the outlook for railway cM.s.ruc-
tion. T.lat Is the subject nppermost
in the. minds of the people to the
r% ~ tx,h to1 En trty