davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
NOT MUCH OF A PROBLEM
Lawyers Statement Of Case That Won
Immediate Aequlttal for His
Fortunate Client.

A famous lawyer had a client named
Murphy who had been arrested for IL
legal sale Of liquor. The police had
no evidence but n pint OF whisky,
which they found in his house when
they searched 1t. In court this evil
dence was produced, and a somewhat
vivid claim Of prirna facie evidence ot
guilt was made by the prosecuting at
torney.
During all this, counsel for the pris.
oner was silent. When his turn came
for the defense, he rose and said: Pat
rick Murphy, stand up" And Murphy,
with a big red nose, ~unshaven face,
bleared eyes and a general appearance
of dilapidation, rose. . .
Patrick Murphy, look pom the
jury; gentlemen of the jury. look on
Patrick Murphy"
Jury and prisoner mutually COM
piled.
The counsel gazed at Patrick for a
moment, then solemnly turned to the
jury.
DO you mean to say to this court
and me you honorably and truly be-
lieve that Patrick Murphy, If he had
a pint of whisky, would sell it,"
Murphy was acquitted.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Hunting Trouble.

When a man just naturally wants
trouble 1t Is mighty easy to find an
excuse for making 1t. According to
Mike Hogan, Casey and O'Brien were
having an argument of their own at
Breckenridge street and Barrett ave.
nue.. 1t had progressed to the extent
that each had forgotten what 1t was
about originally, and they were
wholly oblivious of the gathering
crowd until an urbane and genteel
person in a frock coat put in.
Come, come, my man." he said.
gently plucking Casey by the sleeve.
You don't want to fight; l can tell
It by your looks. Your face Is too
benign"
Two be nine! Two be nine, is ut,
We scutP' beloved Casey. Me face
is. two be nine, Is ut?"
And there was where the real trou-
BILE began.-Louisville Times.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
MADE THE CEREMONY BRIEF
Marriage Service as Conducted by Mis-
sionary Was Binding II II Was
Not Lengthy.


Rev. r. r. Dodge is a missionary at
Maui, one Of the Hawaiian group of
islands. He is a most resourceful man
in his dealings with his charges, as his
part in the following incident serves
to show:
Recently a Japanese couple came to
Mr.. Dodge with a request in sign Ian
guage. They could not talk English un-
derstandingly, and Mr.. Dodge could
not talk Japanese, 80 he conducted the
ceremony as follows:
You like this wahine?"
YES"
"Bimeby no kickout?"
mo"
You like this kane?" Ito the wom-
an
yes"
"Bimeby no kickout?"
No"
"Pule."
Pau" And the ceremony ended.
"Wahine" is Hawaiian for woman,
kane" for man, "pule" for pray, and
pau" for enough.-Kohala Midget
(Maui).
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Continued. next week.
Won Jaaow Enamored of Lies.

III NNS ACN6OA
Having by endless repetitions Of the
American shell and munitions lie fred
the German heart into a fury of a over
"perfidious America" having also added
oil to this fury by using the p~erjuries Of
Stahl. the Lusitania affidavit maker, in
a state paper and circulating them as
gospel truth all over Germany, the Ger
man foreign office has reached the very
climax of absurdity in officially protest
ing to Ambassador Gerard against the
export OF poison shells" by the Cleve-
land Automatic Machine company. This
poison SHELF canard has been exploded
again and again. Its circulation over here
does no credit to the minds or the hearts
OF the hyphenated Americans who are
still giving 1t currency. Yet months
after the fact has been established that
the Cleveland company does not manu-
facture shells of my kind, to say nothing
OF poisonous ones, that 1t simply exported
metal turning machines before the war,
its largest foreign customer being the
Krupp works, and that 1t has not since
the war began sent any OF it's machines
abroad, the German foreign office cate
gorically accepts the old canard as true.
Evidently the motive of Von Jagow Ia
mai a lie well stuck to IL Just as good
as the truth and, in war, more useful
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
A Senator'S Mail,

In the American Magazine a United
States senator writes an extremely
amusing article entitled "A Senator'S
Mail" In the course Of the article he
publishes a number Of these remark
able letters, one Of which follows:
81 need a pension, but the department
won't give me one. 1 was engaged to
be married in 1862. The a ven away
to war, and I married him after tho
war. He died In 1885, and two years
later / married q man who had just
come from England, and he died last
winter. The department won't give me
a pension on account Of my first hus-
b md. because they say / wasn't hs
wife during the war. l was engaged 10
Atm, and considered that / belonged to
/ I'm during the wal just as much as
though / had been his wife. II l had
more pull, I know they would have
given me a pension"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29

After a girl gives her hand In mar
riage she may discover later that sh@
put her foot in 1t. .
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
His ONLY Chance.

Robinson 10 an awful pest at No
club. He talks and talks all The
time"
"Oh, we'll, you can't blame him.
poor chap! He has q wife and three
daughters at home"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29

The older the scheme the more VtO-
Tins it entraps-and matrimony In ons
of the Oldest schemes on record.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29

A girl lever fully appreciates .
young mar until some other girl tries
to get a corner on his affections.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29

The longer a man is married the
less he lodges when his wife throws
things at him.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Usually Travel TonethaI

They can't keep the wolf from tho
door"
Nor the stork."-Bosto1 Evening"
Transcript. !
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Not MIsaInd.

The baby's got Maria's nose"
mo, Z hasn't, for she's been pok.
ing 1t into my business"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Correct.

In what states does it cost the
most to live?"
In the state Of matrimony."
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Economy.

1T pays to buy a good straw hat.
Look at the one I'm wearing. I paid
SIS for 1t last summer"
"Yes?"
And all 1t cost me to have 1t
cleaned and blocked over into this
years style was five dollars"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
Drink DenIson's Coffee,
For your health's sake.

The circus sometimes fails, but tho
visiting girl always gives a parade.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29

Speaking OF grief, the cold fried egH
undoubtedly is the saddest thing.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
A. In Europe,

As In Europe.
Knicker-I hear you moved.
Bocker-Well, we fell back to a
french on the next block.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
I FLY KILLER sl.s.a ..y,
EARoLD SoMKRs Iso Dc /
SIOUX CITY PIG. CO., NO. s1-1s10.

The principal ingredient In q good
time is a vivid imagination.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29
And That's All.

And That's All.
Van Lushe says he can take a
drink or let it alone"
We'll I've often seen him prove the
first half Of that statement"
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1915-07-29

lndSepha
trocnA
the foot
rest and
tired o.
any sub
5E SAM
Y.-AdT.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03

The dandelion has some uses public opinion
20 the contrary notwithstanding. It's tender
leaves often adorn the table as edible greens; its
tap root. running down TO the center OF the
earth at times, sometimes serves a. a substitute
for chicory. which in itself Is a substitute for
coffee, and under the name OF taraxacum the ac-
tive principle OF the plant appears in the phar-
macopia as cholagogue. But nobody ever
heard Of the dandeiion being Iisted among the
ornamental Towering shrubs or plants designed
for lawn decoration.
The persistence OF the yellow pest is equaIled
In nature by only one thing. the English spar
row, which Is even more useless. The feeundity
OF the Nebraska soil makes the task OF eradi-
eating the dandelion one OF stupendous proper
tions. The eternal application of all known
remedies by everybody is the only available solu-
tion The problem is complicated by the care
less man. who is willing to let his lawn 30 to
waste. and who allows the weed to bloom and
ripen and scatter its seed over his neighbor's
plot thereby nullifying all the effort the careful
man has put forth.
The Civic Leagues Garden club plan for
campaign against the yellow nuisance IL q good
one: swat the dandelion as we'll as the fly, but
the swatting must be perpetual IN order 10 win.
And we always have with us the comforting
knowledge that from the middle OF Decembe-
until the middle OF April we have very little
trouble with either of these pests
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
People and Events

Of the latest wonders OF California is the bone
Of mammoth. which scientists say has been buried
there for sS@O years serpent is the only thing
needed 20 complete the states stock Incompatible
wonders for Eawping visitors
Assurances are given by the Kansas City Star that
a man who carries thirst 10 Leavsnworth. will have
TO 50 the water route or bring Il back TO Missouri
Recent additions 10 the Indiana colony Iaavenwoh
accept the Inconvenience with patriotic fortitude
A. result OF undertakers cut rate war at
n Centre n NJ. INDECENT dead will be decenty
Inferred for the munifoent sum OF one cent each
which the county promises TO pay. The undertaken
does not care for the but needs eKerciss
Old-time fiddler contests are enllVenng life An
Texas Challenges carrying the big den are putting
rosn and pep into the sporting extras OF the Lone
star stats. II ne fiddiers WELD the how as visor
ousiy they talk for publication nothing short OF a
eonerOts eridge VIII hold the eatsut
Opportunity did not have to push the button a sec
end time az the office OF the late John Cudahy Of Chi
IL = more likely opportunity was met half vay
and had 70 speed up 70 keep the pace cudshy had
the speculative dash which does successful team work
with foresight One year he times million
are the next year the fortune wiped out ana he
iboooo0 IN debt Then cudshy buekled down ana
pai1 off the debt In five years and died a rich man
That Is the brand OF American enterprise and grit thai
gives ar Of romance 10 the grain pits Of chicaEo
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
eMls7sZ&4.ssHS %
sMls &Gy4s 0.N:

The Omaha base ball club went up AGAINST In.
4sAhapohs at the sherman Avenue park. and Nere
pounded out TO the tune Of u 70 10 the disappot
inent OF the local fans
Melville L. LandOn better known an Ell Perkins i,
IL stopping over In Omaha
Hon. ". A. Paxton returned home f,o,, a. -,
ooking rugged and sunbrowned
=. Alice 4 70 oe special travelling agent for the
h a.. with headquarters In Omaha.
doc" Middleton. the famous Nebraska bandit -.
n town bat left al o'clock for the east
The Omaha L4ght Guards have rented wil,.n,..
hall formerly occupied by the public library. al
drill room.
The hours for street cars to run al nirht are az
tended from II o'clock 70 midnight ana the driyers
VII oe PAID Aceording 70 ssrios allowance b.lns
threaten 10 strike e'V
According 70 Postmaster coutanls report 40 sSs 70
postage stamp sales were recorded April being an
inorease Of 3 per cent the year before
The hees Printing company have disposed n, ,h,,
rubber stamping department Messrs tIross 4 An.
tin Who have set up business at lSos Farnam street
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
The pOlitio. Of Non.Parti.an,hip

Nonpartisanship is always the slogan by
which minority party candidates for office seek
preferment or power which they otherwise could
not possibly hope to secure. But nonpsftisan-
ship In office and nonpartisanship in seeking
office are two distinct things. Making local ap-
plication. and talking about It without dissem-
bling. our "nonpartisan" commission plan Of
city government has in fact given lis for the last
three years democratic machine entrenched In
the city hall. II has done this by virtue OF the
fact that a majority OF the seven commissioners
are nonpartisan democrats. and where the bal
ance OF political power lies, lies also the main
spring OF political activity. We do not say the
city hall would be free from partisanship II
republicans we're in majority, but what license
have the democrats TO dominate and use for
partisan advantage the government OF a city
like Omaha, among whose voters they are in
striking minority?
Inasmuch one political party or the other
Is sure TO control. The Bee does not hesitate to
express the wish that the outcome of the i'm
pending city election will transfer the balance
OF political power from nonpsrtisan democrats
to nonpartison republicans. Therefore this sug-
gesfion. For whomsoever else you vote, vote
for Hummel. Jsrdine. Kugel and zimman.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03

immoderate extent" Yet in the deduc-
tlons from his statistics these would be
clsssed with the very moderate users.
l. e., the results OF the immoderste use
would be charged UP to the moderate
use
That certainly prodsces an element Of
uncertainty.
The object OF Mr.. Hunters address be-
fore the life insurance presidents ap-
pears on the title page Of his published
speech, and reads as follows: Effect Of
alcoholic beverages. overeating. under
eating, social diseases and occupation
upon length Of life as disclosed from sell
entific Investigation Of 100000 insured
lives" Therefore. he classes overeating
with excessive use of liquors
There Is another serious defect in de-
dLctions based on such statistics, and
that II the temptation of the average ap-
plicant for insurance to misrepresent in
answering the questions propounded to
him as TO his personal habits. Thus an
applicant who may use liquors excess
lively may speak of himself as q moder-
ate drinker. as otherwise he might be
declined as a poor risk. The result is
that statistics referring to moderate
drinkers arc often gathered from men
who use liquor 70 excess. but who con-
ceal that fact
II is, reversely. like men answering for
crime who try to minimize their pun
ishment by claiming that they we're
drunk. although the probabilities are
that they were entirely sober.
Mr.. Hunters conclusions do not coin
eide with the findings of other investi-
gators along those lines While all agree
that the excessive use is injurious and
shorten life. there are many eminent
authorities who insist that moderate US
ers are better insurance risks than total
abstainers. The Collective Investigating
Committee Of the British Medical Asso-
ciation shows by elaborate tabular rat
ings and comparisons that the average
ago Of strictly temperate drinkers is
62.l3 years while that Of total abstainers
lie only 61.27 years. The report explains
however. that the difference may be
partly due to the fact that most total
abstainers are men OF low vitality in the
first place
Or. Arnold Lorand. the famous Aus
trian physician. of Carlsbad, Bohemia.
does not recommend total abstinence. He
tells Us that care, worry. grief and sor-
row cause more premature old age than
all other agencies. He speaks of meeting
a robust boatman on the Island of Capri
(taking wine probably twice a day reg
ulsrly)-a man in the sOs-who aston
ished him. so vigorously did he handle
the oars. Asked how he managed to
keep SO young. the boatnian replied
''sempre allegro Il am always merry.
That is the secret OF the fountain of
youth divulged by the scientists. Total
abstainers are seldom OF the merry kind.
FREDERICK A. SEDLACEK. MD.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
The Benefit Of the Doubt.

The rule Of the English common law is that
every man accused OF crime is presumed to be
innocent until adjudged guilty after a fair trial
by jury OF his peers and that he is entitled 80
the benefit OF the doubt n the evidence is I'm
conclusive
In the case Of Leo NJ. Frank Il is no longer
question OF whether he has been legally
adjudged guilty because the supreme court has
held, although with two dissenting judges, that
the proceedings technically conform with the
law, and that the verdict must stand. Aside
from this. however. in the court OF public opln-
ion, Frank Is still being accorded the benefit Of
the doubt. not only as to his innocence, but as
to whether he really had fair trial. and also as
to whether the supreme court should not have
entertained his appeal from the ruling denying
his application in the lower court. The almost
important fact which has been generally over
sided at the trial refusing another hearing with
this excuse:
have given this question long consideration. It
has given me more concern than any other case
in. and ! want say right here that al
though 1 heard the evidence and arguments during
those thirty days do know this morning whether
Frank is Innocent guilty But not the
to be convinced. the jury was convinced, and feel
II TO be my duty 20 overrue the motion
II the Judge who heard the case was In doubt
as TO Franks guilt although the jury was other
wise convinced. surely the doubt entertained by
thousands OF iustice-loving citizens throughout
the nation warrants them petitioning the gov
ernor OF Georgia for commutation OF sentence,
which can in no way impair the majesty OF the
court or the supremacy of the law.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.

Il shrink from the ordeal" she said,
but there was triumph IN her voice
The lady was dieting and exercising 70
reduce her flesh, and the scales had Just
shown that she had sloughed OF thirty
pounds. Judge.
Randall-Delaney IL very gloonly-says
he doesn't care how soon he dies.
Rogers-Then he ought TO consult
speciaiist.-Iife.
How many people were at the meeting
last uight7" asked the wife
Fourteen" replied the man In, the case.
What kind of meeting was u, dear3"
'Oh. a mass-meeting g"-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Are you going to the expositionT
Nope: can't afford it"
But your wife bought an entire new
outfit to wear at the exposition
That's why we can't afford it"-HousS
ton Post.
Ibid YOU see where some expert had
achieved a seediess applet"
Yes, but life viii not be altogether
worth living until somebody has evolved
the boneless shad. ."-Baltimore American
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
New Deal Al the Penitentiarx.

Nebraska is Just entering on another expert
ment in connection with the handling of labor
at the state pententiary. Hereafter, the convicts
viii work for the state. instead OF for con-
tractors. The new law simply shifts control. and
scarcely affects the condition Of the prisoner
The governor recommended to the legislature
that some provision be made for the employment
OF prisoners on roads OF other outside construe-
tion work. but this was ignored by the law
makers and the prisoners will be utilized in in
dustriai operations carried on within the prison
walls. The principal change Is that the state
will have TO sell or itself use the output of its
prison workshops. The Board of Control should
carefully investigate the problem. and recon-
mend some comprehensive plan for handling
convict labor to the next legislature
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
MOVING PICTURES.

On Farnan street, where sixteenth Joins,
I idly watched the masses on their way.
l knew these for my lifelong, well-tried
WIS. from the world of fiction strayed
Escaping from the printed page. that
they
Might. tsnnt me with resemblanoes
OF face and form. did not dare To
And scarce believed so many years had
flown.
For Dickens. Scott and Hawthorne must
These self-same folk. They were all here,
Mark Tapieys. yes. and Piekwicks by the
Good Don ouixote, without lance or
Rough Robert Burns and gentle Eugene
with all their characters. Then Tiny Tim
And Jenny Wren came by with sunny
Then serooge and David Hsrlm with a
Perlmutter and Abe Potash. come to life;
And then poor Mr.. Caudle with his wife;
And Jean Val Jean with cossette by his
Then Edwin dear. and Angeline his bride:
And Msrys, Marthas. Clara We're de
Shy Minnenaha, too ana Susan CleeE,
And surely that was Airy, Joe and Meg;
Gay Wallingford and Blackie Daw. his
pard;
Ani Eloise without her Abelard
Here were they all, our friends. the
saints and crooks.
To make the characters of future books
From every walk cf life they came, to
meet
On equallzing plane. the public street.
Where each, engrossed in his own sell
fish lot
To ,jostling stranger gave no second
thought
Though 'twould bring smiles and tears
IL thew had seen
These self-ssme pictures on a movie
screen.
Omaha DAVID.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
Abstention ana longevity.

OMAHA. May 2-To the Editor OF The
Bee: On April II you published a synop-
siE OF an address by Arthur Hunter on
Insurance and longevity" delivered by
him at the annual meeting OF the Asso-
citation OF LAfe Insurance Presidents, a
copy of which I have before me The
address is exceedingly interesting. even
though the deductions drawn by Mr..
Hunter from his mass OF statistics may
only be partly correct. because an ele-
ment OF uncertainty necessarily enters
into large per cent OF death cases when
determining the real causes Of death,
especially when considered in connection
with the statements made by the insured
a. to his general habits. when he applied
for insurance. as to the use OF liquors
IN excess, their moderate use and total
abstinence.
The extract from his address says:
Beyond peradventure or doubt abstain
ers live longer than users OF alcohol"
Now what Mr.. Hunter said was as fol-
lows:
~In my Judgment Il has also been
proven beyond peraaventure OF doubt
that total abstinence from alcohol Is OF
value TO humanity. II is certain that
abstainers live longer than persons who
use alcoholic beverages. The low NOR
tality amongst abstainers may not be due
solely TO abstinence from alcohol but to
abstinence nom tobacco and 70 a careful
regard to ones physical well being"
It would seem that conveys a some
what different meaning from the abb
breviation published by YOU. At the same
time there are eminent authorities who
would challenge Mr.. Hunters conclu-
sions that abstainers live longer than
persons who use alcoholic beverages
moderately.
Mr.. Hunter himself. little further on.
says; IL is probable that among those
who we're very moderate users OF alco-
hOlie beveFases there were compara-
lively few who eventually used LIQUOR
hut among those who took
more than a glass OF whisky or .ts
equivalent = day there were probably a
g0odly number who increased their daily
after having applied for In
IurAnne and who eventually drank % an
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
A Klnalr superIntenaent.

ohlcaeO man with business interests IN Mis-
uouri tells OF incident at railway junction therein
He was very hungry, with only two minutes before
the departure OF his train
Sandwich and coffee Guickl" he said to the coun-
ter man 'Havsn't time for anything else"
"Easy. friend" said the other Take all the time
you want Cast your eye over this bill OF fare and
TN phone the superintendent TO hold the train
while"
Hold the train while ! eatr'
'Sure. This IL branch read. and there's no other
train comm gon' IL this mornin' The si-
perintendent will want you to have a good meal-he
owns this lunch room"-st Louis Republic
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-03
Twice Told Tales
Haa Him GuessinG.

walter Roberts. the theatrical man. is usually
ready with quick 70 any question that Is
put 20 him. but once time he clearly nom
pussed. woman had approached the ticket window
and said
II would very much like TO know IL the show
which Is going is moral and proper"
Walter cast a scrutinizing glance at his ques-
TONER. but that was all.
Why don't you answer my question. young man.
demanded the woman at the window
Because madam. frankly speaking" said wal
ter. hesitating. I'm not good enough Judge Of
human nature to know which way 70 answer without
losing q patron Louisville Times