The Bottineau courant. (Bottineau, Bottineau County, N.D.) 1895-1929, 1915-06-25
Colonel Bunker
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1915. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
By NJ. QUAD

II was just thinking, sub" said Colo
mel Bunker as he sat looking out Of the
window-"l was just thinking Of an
incident In my early career as a duel
list. In fact, sub. when this thing came
about l had not yet drawn my rapier
on the field OF hOnoh. In the southern
town where l first hung out my shin
gle as q lawyer were a dozen gay
bucks of young men. and ! was II Of
them.
I'VE were sports, sub. We rode, We
cd about our honoh, and we took nc
advice from our elders.
1T was a wonder we kept clear OF
the duellO among our W selves. foI
we were hotheads. But destiny had
something laid up for us, and at the
proper time we learned what 1t was
When a dapper little man dropped into
the town one day and gave his name
as Professor Wayne and explained that
he was something Of a naturalist we
had no idea that his coat covered des
tiny.
1T was about a week after the pro
fessOr's arrival. and none Of us yOun"
blades had made his acquaintance yet
when six Of us sat on the taver veran,
da of a summers evening arranging Il
fox hunt. when the stranger appeared
among US. and. looking directly at me.
he asked:
"'May l have the honoh of asking
your nameT
II gave It as Bunker, Of co'se.
"'Bunker? BunkerY' he repeated
Did you evan spell 1t with an II?
"'Suhi Sub! What do you mean"
"'Was the name originally Junker?
"Egad. sub. the man was deliberately
insulting me!
II always thought | carried things
of very we'll for a first time. | raised
my hat, handed him my card and turn
ed away. He received 1t with a bow
and also turned.
There you were. suh-there you
we're! A duel for sunrise was arranged
for within an hour, and l was Il hero.
Gould a professor Of natural his
tory handle a rapier like a young buck
who was always at it?
"NO, Of co'Se not, and | should play
with him. Should | kill or only wound
him? That question could wait and
be settled after the blades had crossed.
The most ! had to fear. as my friends
told me and as | firmly believed my
self. was that the professor would Ell
ther send an abject apology or sneak
away during the night. He did nei-
Their, however.
I'VE talked the matter over. and all
the bucks thought | ought to run the
professor through the heart. and thus
at once establish my reputation. but
! decided that a wound that would lay
him up about six weeks would do.
1T was only when the word had been
given and our blades had crossed that
l found out | had caught a tartar.
Why, sub. the professor made me look
like Is cents! He disarmed me twice
In ten minutes. He could have killed
me during the next five. but he stayed
his hand.
"At length, after humiliating me for
the best part Of half an hour. he pink
ed me in the shoulder and l was out of
it. | wept bitter tears as the surgeon
dressed my wound. The young bucks
didn't know what to make of It., but
agreed that they must find excuse to
challenge the professor until some one
had landed him.
"Egad. sub. they didn't have to GO
hunting far for EXCUSES. He brought
them along and laid them at the feet
of those who waited. He stopped Dick
Bascomb OF the street and politely said
to him:
"'Suh, nature has made Il mistake In
your case
what do you mean. suh?' asked
Dick.
THAT our nose is screwed on
crooked
"'Suh. you must answer for this in
suit
IOur to command
"A second duel. you see, sub. anG
with the same weapons. wasn't
there to see, but they told me that he
AhAN " DSSS lofIhC VI DlCh lDdS
comb than he did of me. When he
had made Il show Of him long enough
he gave him the point in the same
shoulder he had me and walked away
whistling.
I'VE had a sensation in that towI
now and for fifty miles beyond it. Thu
professor had made two victims ant
was liable to make others, but there
wasn't much feeling against him no
much sympathy for those who had fell
his steel.
Joe Beaumont was to be his third
1t was rapiers again. ! rode to TIT
grounds to see the duel. Joe went a
1t from the first like a butcher with
long knife and was disarmed ever,
other minute. He got so mad that h
cried like a boy.
1T was the same old story-woundet
In the same shoulder.
Three smart bucks. Three duels.
'Three arms in three sings.