The Irish standard., 1915-01-16
The Home Circle
By Celia Hord Kenny
THE ART OF CONSOLATION.

THE ART OF CONSOLATION.
With the best of intentions many
would be comforters are like dentists
who mistakenly pull the wrong tooth.
We have all been tortured in the
name of pity and the awkward prac-
titioners sometimes give more pain
than they save. Consolation is even
more than an art. 1t is a very exalted
virtue. The extender of real COM
fort is the most influential person on
earth. A friend that can be wept
with is a heavenly blessing in per-
sonal form.
The real healer of heartaches is
travelling the direct road to sanctity.
For physical maladies there are hos
pitfalls and whole corps of trained
helpers and specified remedies. For
the hurts of the spirit let the relief
be Just as efficient. To acquire great
ability in giving such relief is not
only a fine accomplishment but
Christian duty. Few would attempt
to play a musical instrument without
previous study of it. Why should the
human heart be drummed on by every
bungling passerby? Like every other
art, the art of comforting has its
technique to be thoroughly mastered,
it's Industrious self-preparation. It is
too important to be practiced at hap
hazard. What is said and above all,
what is done to aid the sufferer must
really help his individual case and
not be a generalization. A little hui
NOR or comment in cheerful wisdom
may sometimes brighten grief, but let
the witty comforter realize that, like
spice in pudding, little goes long
way, that people don't confide trouble
to have it burlesqued and that lofty
attempt to laugh sorrow out of court
is often very cruel. In fact, any as
sumption of superiority in the form
of advice or philosophy can be a mis-
take. Sometimes the sufferer has al
ready lascerated himself with wis
dom beyond endurance and let CON-
forters remember that adhering to alb.
stract heroism requires the co-opera-
ton of the nervous system which has
already been overweight by the
pang endured. The garrulous COM
forter may take immense satisfaction
in his own voluble sentiments, en-
joying the torrent of his own elo-
quence, but let him bear in mind that
the feelings he is trying to relieve are
the others and not his own, and that
the other did not undergo his mis-.
fortune so as to give the orator an
opportunity. Odious as self-satisfac-
ton always is, it is never uglier than
in the guise of an angel of mercy. And
let the stricken one be emphatically
conscious of one thing especially
that his listener will regard his con-
fidence as sacred and not to be car
ried further without his own permits
sion. People have greater personal
right to the secrecy of their own ex-
periences than to all their other be-
longings. Most of all, let the comfort
bearer know that If he would really
aid, really stop suffering, really re-
store the spirit, he must forget all
about his own sensibilities, trample
hard on all selfishly instructive i'm.
pulse to save them from discomfort
and cast himself fully and generously
into his sorrowing brothers soul, feel
ing with him in all keenness and reali-
ty and seeking for him exactly what
he would seek were the pain his very
own. Such holy compassion is Di-
vine. When the widow of Main was
following her only son to his burial
the blessed Healer said two words
to her,-just two words, but fraught
with full recognition of her weeping
and Of its cause, and then He did
what relieved her. He spoke little
and did much. Let comforters learn
from this. Although we have not His
power, we can use our own to it's ex-
tent. And, If we would know how to
cure great troubles, we can learn how
just as we can learn any other great
thing, by curing all the small ones
that come into our experience, apply
ing the very same principles of max
ing another's cause exactly our own
and what form of excellence can do
more good than this?
G. H. X.