The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1915-07-22
A FABLE A LA WALT Mason
with apologies to my saner self.)

In the village of Mime o Please lives
maid love to tease, mayhap because my
pride was handed a whack, when twas said
"Englishmen are Hottentots minus the
black
But for reward this maid took sick, I'm
agined she had cancer appendicitis or may
be govt; and thought she would cash in,
Shoot the shoots, peg out So gathering
togeather all the pain-killers in the house,
crept down stairs as still as a mouse. Twas
here, and then that a walk marathon begun;
that ended till the rise of the sun.
Discovered by mother who inquiringly
said: "Why dear, are you sicki-Why are
mt you in bed3 I'm sorry my dear if you
feel ill, but you should have called me or
brother Bill
An MD. was summoned, DR.. Sawbones
Whitehead, who casually remarked 'They
couldn't keep you in bed
"No," replied the maid, eff I'm to
shoot the shoots, I'll die. standing and
wearing my boots" (or at least crocheted
slippers.)
Bending over he tested lung, finding
nothing, ordered her to show her tongue.
With finger held quite stiff, this MD. be-
gan to biff, with little jabs and jolts, the
patients anatomy in search of loose bolts.
Diagnosis completed-Mr. MD. was
seated, and then, with an eide mans"
fountain pen, wrote a prescription fully two
miles long; with advises to take until again
feeling strong. Removing his horn-rimmed
and closing his case, the MD. put per-
fecto in the orifice of his phase. Resting
a bit as nj. DIS will, he sprung on them
Daffydill; realizing it has curative value
the same as the pill.
The patient after listening while to his
bright chaff, shortly convulsed in one hearty
laugh. "Well," Quoth he, Cured, By
Gosh! and done with a little timely joke"
But to me an observer seems like a lot of
trouble to take, when simply hanging over
back of chair will cure stomachache. But
then you re sorry wot-that you said an
-? was Hotentot.
Whew! Now that we have unloaded the
above from our system, and have partially
regained lucidity we will proceed to turn
out copy"
News Item: "Behnd Guila Lipa," reads
a war headline - If that is Mule in Greek
it's bad place for the Germans to be.
News Item: An editorial in the Lake
Crystal Union starts with these words: GA
patient Englishman. But shucks, they re
all the same.
News Item: '|What is woman to mana'
-Law'z chile, that's easy, an expensive lux
ury.
News Item: 'Ireland sent out 230, 314
Immigrants last year. Sound more cor
rect if Immigrants read policemen.
PHoNY PHiLMs
Editor: "Hang it, wonder why that
'paragrapher' don't copy up in timer
Comp: "Well, maybe he's out of paper
or needs pencil
Editor: 81 never thot of that
There's young painter poet called
Beau Esprit,
Who in every respect is really wit;
A tube of white lead
Or lay to the dead
Is readily turned into a skit,
By Beau Esprit.
IF IT Is NICE
apologies to T.R.Y0
There's something going to happen, but
blamed if know what it is,
Cause I'm no fortune teller and profas-
| ighing 'aint my biz;
But just know it will happen, but il
takes wiser man than
To give forecast of the weather, by
looking at the clouds in the skye
The day looms bright In sunshine with
breath of summer air
That recalls other summer days free from
any care;
I'd bet my years wages-the whole eight
dollars-and not be afraid
That It's Saturday and game of ball is
to be played.
BRAIN FAC
The editor of this colyum has had several
overatures from the editors of the "Inlook''
sPolice Gazette to fill space in their res
pective sheets but owing to our present
lenormous salary have declined