The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-12-05
Ole Miss, CT Lie is CT Abomination in de Sight uv de Lawd, but hit is CT evah present Help in de Time uv Trubble. Yassum!

girl he hopes he'll run against some day -first''
 I was so afraid he'd flutter away from the subject that I looked away and in voice absolutely casual, I indifferently replied that I didn't know there were any ideals of girls nowadays.
 "You didn't,' he exclaimed biting at the bait Just as had planned. Why, even the limpest old piece of timber that ever got into ball game without the gate fee has his dream of what the particular woman he could love would be like
 "But you?" I gently but firmly headed him away from any reminiscence of the summers ideal sport-baseball-an tried to get him back to the personal equation. 'T suppose your ideal girl would be little and pink and peach-y looking, with fluffy gold hair and a lisp, and she'd always wear light blue frocks.''
 "That just goes on to show how far afied your guess goes, when you don't know what you are talking about" he said quickly. "The girl I'm going to promise the preacher one of these days to look out for the rest of her natural life is going to be tall and black-headed with long eyes and pink ears.' 'T.ike a white rabbit observed. "She may be white rabbit for all I care" he pounded back ito the rest of the world, but to me she'll be Mrs. My Own Wife,, eff she'll have mel, and if sine doesn't take cheerfully to the idea of letting me fetch and carry for her m Iv oil v,Jo f. I'm going to throw her across my shoul- der and elope with her.
 "Kidnap her. I suggested. Then" he warmed up to the sub- ject, "she would start out thinking was brute good and proper, and a big old bully and she would begin to hate me good and hard and it would all end in her-eating out of my hand"
 You are nothing more or less than the reincarnation of an old Hun or Goth or whoever 1t was who slung the Sabine women over their shoulders and ran away with them," gasped. There is nothing original in your ideal am trying to get at something specific. wanted to ask you what virtue you admire most in woman"
 ''Oh! l don't know" he replied casu- ally. suddenly bewildered by the mag nitude of the subject. T like for 'em to know how to read and write. It makes 'em look intelligent, whether they really are or not"
 Another man later told me like the man in the old My Queen" verses, that "he didn't know when or how hell greet her-or what words she'll say, or even how she'll look"
 ''One thing is certain, however, he asserted triumphantally, "she must have a good looking foot 'I shan't mind passing under the matrimonial yoke provided it's the arched instep of a No. slipper
 Yet another man puts it this way:
 Tt doesn't matter so much about beauty" he says, but she must be sweet. I'd like to marry the kind of girl who wears frilly little aprons and caps tied with blue ribbon bows over her ears. Also I'd like her to have blue eyes to match the ribbon bows"
 Another says: s'No girl without dimples need apply.'
 A widower twirled his mustache when the question was put to him and sapologetically explained that every girl who expects to marry ought to be taught how to manage servants No home can be happy. in his estimation. where the kitchen holds two or more servants debating whether they can afford tt stay on or not with a mistress who doesn't know how to give orders and exact strict obedience.
 "Fd like one,' very good looking man said. "who would select me as her