The hummer., 1915-08-13

Muo MAAtADA 4 gNuAo uAu uuA uNNlANo
Of it had to be left out an account o.
Mr.. Editor
The election has come and gone,
and the shores Of time are strewn
with the sad remains Of defeated
candidates, and now we are caring
for the dead and wounded. In a
regular battle Of bullets during the
civil war, 20 per cent was consider
ed a heavy loss, but in the battle
Of ballots just passed. fully 80 per
cent we're slain, and nearly all Of
them thought they were dead sure
Of an election. The amount Of mis-
placed confidence was appalling.
The hopes and aspirations of a.
bout so candidates in the county
have gone up in smoke and now we
can return to our respective duties,
feeling that Of all the kinds Of Ticks
Polly Ticks out Ticks them all.
This cyclone of disasters, that like
a demon Of des u ton swept over
the land on Aug. 3, would not feel
that it had done its duty without
paying its respects to so distinguish
ed a figure as the man from Owl
Holler," and he was made to re-
solve never to run for Office again
without having a glass eve put in
the back of his head to watch the
fellow behind.
| knew a man that ran for office
in Monroe County. He fgered out
1900 votes promised that could be
relied on. When the election came
off. he got 200. When asked for an
explanation, he said, there is 1000
Of the biggest liars in Monroe cOun-
ty that ever dew the breath Of life"
One old politician told me the more
you tried to explain the worse
you made it, So | will say that if
it had not been for the propelling
power the Majors personality, it
nigh have been Wus. 1t don't be-
come me to kick, for | have been
preaching, DO your best and keep
in a good humOr," for all these year
and now the time has come for me
to take my own medicine, and if
you have any sympathy you are
not using, give it to the other fellow
for | am still doing business at the
same old stend, ready and willing
at all times to do, and say some
thing to help along my fellow man,
and fellow woman too.
The man that originated the pri-
mary law under which we now vote
had a head on his shoulders that
could look ahead and the result is
that we have the fairest and squar-
est election laws of any state in the
Union.
Well we all went over to the
county seat to see ourselves count
ed in. Everybody was hopeful,
your Uncle Eli was there squirting
his terbacker juice half across the
street, feeling perfectly satisfied
that he would be a member of the
legislature-in fact, he expected a
landslide, and he got it, but the
darn thing slid the wrong way, and
he was left floundering like a big
tish on dry land, not knowing eX-
actly where he was at.
Being a man Of many resources
and not willing to be knocked out
in the first round, l sOt my brains
to work to try in some way to re-
tFieve my wanning fortunes. Your
brains are no good and not worth
more than saw dust to you if they
can't help you over a hard place,
so / called a private meeting of all
defeated candidates in the county.
When we had all gotten in and the
door closed and locked, ] asked each
one to give the reason Of bis defeat
and they all with one accord. gave
their friends the devil and rubbed
it in, after which I arose and said,
"EanfIarnau of the Dafiancf 0n9oa