The Washington herald., 1915-12-26
Did He Kidnap Herr.
By NJ. Quad.

Gosh hang it. but I believe ! am an
idiot l not only believe It. but know
l am. Here am I most thirty years old,
and still am a bachelor instead of hav-
ing a wife"
1t was Giles Stebbins seated in his
farmhouse three miles from the town of
Dawson. Outside il was raining heavily,
and before him in the old stone fireplace
fire of wet wood smoked and sputtered
In an aggravating way. For six years
he had kept bachelors hall, and the
memory of it made him Indignant He
hoped that a tin peddler might call for a
nights lodging and suffer himself to be
booted away from the door.
No dog-no cat-no wifei' he muttered
as he looked into the fire and then gave
the wood a vicious kick. Il ought to
have a wife to do the cooking and make
the bed and sweep up this litter on the
floors, but have been a fool and had to
pay for it I am too homely to go
ACQUIRING like other men, but / ought
to have taken desperate chances. I'm
going TO take them know. Yes, by golly, l
ami I'll either be a married man with
in the next fortnight or I'll be in Jail
awaiting my trial as a kidnapper. It's
again the law to kidnap a woman. but
I'm going ag'in the law. 1t was never
meant for man to cook his own meals
and have fried pork at every one of them
for years and years Ugh."
1t was true about Giles Stebbins being
a homeiy man. Nature had not been kind
10 him. He was long, lank and lathy. He
had a nose twice too big for an average
man-teeth too large and bulging out too
much. and the whiskers that had appear
ed on his chin were few and scattering
and seemed to have been singed over a
fire. II ono looked for an offset to
these drawbacks he found it in the mans
industry. He was hard worker and
was gradually accommodating a fair sum
to his credit in the bank. He had often
chuckled with satisfaction as he thought
of 1t, but his days were long and his
nights were lonely. Money can compen~
safe for many things. but not for a
wife.
Yes continued Giles. as he reached
for his old clay pipe and filled the bowl
Of il with the dried leaves of a hazel
bush as substitute for tobacco. Il am
going to bring wife here. Then will
follow a cat-perhaps canary-then
Some decent meals and a happy home. j
don't know who she will be yet. that
must depend upon circumstances. But /
will get some one and I'll keep her here
il L have TO tie her up with rope. That's
fat. old man. and don't you forget it,
AT about the some hour, in the village
of Dawson. Mary Parker. old maid and
twenty-nine years old. sat talking with
her mother.
Mary" said the mother. 81 don't want
TO hurt your feelings, but both your
father and me are bitterly disappointed
in you"
rs it the same old story asked the
1T is was the reply. You don't get
married. You are going on thirty years
did. and you haven't had a beau vet. /
say it is almost scandalous. with You
heinS such good housekeeper as you
are
You may call it scandaIous or any
thing else. mother. but have no chance |
with the other girls and you know that !
well as I do. l can cook, mend and
wash. but | am so dreadfully homely. !
II YOU wer, man and looking for a
wife would YOU ask me to marry you. or |
run away at sight of my face2
Inn You amt so very homely."
No use to say that. mother. while l
self every day and 7 think I grow more4
homely as the days pass away. No man |
will ever ask me to he his wife. 7 have |
got over thinking of that and shall bear |
my misfortune as bravely as l can
But there is Giles Stebbins," said the
mother after a brief silence. Il
Why. he is more homely than ! am"
rupfully laughed Mary. Il shall wait a
hundred years. If necessary, for some |
other man to come along"
They say he is getting we'll off
And it may be true, but that is no |
CONDENSATION for his looks. He always /
reminds me of scarecrow hung on a |
pole
after fussing around for a moment she |
sat down and toorz long look at herself .
In the glass. BY and by she said to her
self:
YES. that is my homelv face and it.
will I've homelier as grow older. ought ,
to have found n husband long ago. home
" as I am. but none came along. Have
! got to go on living this way while all
the girls arr stepping off and getting .
homes and husbands? No, I'm snumm"d I
il do I'll put myself in the way of be
ing kidnapped. have read of such cases
as mine over and over. and they always
turned out for the best. At least. II som"
man tried to kidnap me I wouldn't shriek J
and cry for help. Mavbe he will be a
romantic man and marry me without
looking into my face too closely new
Cr heard Of anyone being kidnapped in the
village of Dawson, hut ANYTHING is liable |
tn harnen al any time I'll take a little
walk through the streets tomorrow even /
ing and see If something won't occur.
With new hat on and veil hiding my
face ! think 7 can pass muster.
ON th, evening OF the next day after
Ills frugal repsst. Giles Stebbins hitched
tho nlG whit. mare tn the top buggy and
then donrsd his Sunday suit and started
for th, village of Dawson There was no
great hurry TO arrive. for II was early
vet and so the old mare took the road
at sober pace.
YES I am going to he = Eidnanper and !
a husband" said Giles to himself as he
rode along ''I shan't stop tn Introduce
myself and explain that am good