davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23

His Story at Least lie a Variation From
Time.Honored Yarns So often
Rehashed.

Porter T. Scripture is a truthful
soul, Porter T. Scripture is a truth
full soul-(chorus of impolite friends
of Mr.. Scripture here gets it's cue to
arise and chant)-Yes, he is, as white
as coal. However, Mr.. Scripture
shall be heard. Unfortunately his
name is Scripture, not Scripture, or
It would be cinch to compare Scrip
ture with the well-known gospel vari-
ETY. Of TRUTH.
Mr.. Scripture set out with his lit
tie fishing rod the other morning for
the Mohawk river in search of trout.
Some hours later he returned Wild
eyed and weary, and to his friends he
told this story:
He had been casting a fly from the
shadows with Indifferent success and
was about to reel up and move on
(chorus of friends: "They always
are!") when there was a prodigious
splash and a giant fish that looked
with the silvery sheen on its scales,
like German torpedo, leaped sew
eral feet out Of the water and seized
the fly.
A terrible struggle here ensued
Chorus, There always does!") the
fish endeavoring to haul Mr.. Scrip.
tune into the depths and drown him,
Mr.. 8. laboring valiantly to lure the
fish into shallow water, where he
could be seized. Finally, after 40
minutes of tremendous exertion, MT.
Scripture got the trout into shallow
water and picked him-(chorus, "Ay,
60 on; he slipped off the hook, didn't
he?") No. Mr.. Scripture lifted the
mammoth fish, his tail tapping fero-
ciously and his teeth swapping vi
ciously, and hung him on his pocket
scales.
Inasmuch as trout are not known
to have pockets, 1t is supposed that
Mr.. Scripture, in his excitement
playing fast and loose with pronouns,
alluded to his, Mr.. Scriptures.
pocket scales. However, now comes
the cruel blow. The fish weighed
liz pounds. This is a record. But
Mr.. Scripture recollected sudden.
ly-the law says that no angler may
take more than ten pounds of trout
in one day.
What was to be done? On one side
fame and fortune beckoned, but there
also threatened the stern face of the
law. On the other side duty and
honesty. Duty and honesty triumphed
(Mr. Scripture says SO, and he
ought to know, and the record trout
was sadly released, to return to his
native waters. Chorus, well, that's
q new one, anyway, Bill. Y'gonna
buy?") Mr.. Scripture Is quite indig
nant when people ask him why he
didn't cut Off and return a pound
and half of the trout's tail, and thus
keep within the law.-New Yorb
World.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
One Way to Eradicate the Prune

One Way to Eradicate the Prune.
A meeting of the Boarders' Protec-
tive association was held the other
night, the Olathe Register reports, and
the matter Of prunes was discussed,
and the best ways and means Of Grad.
icating these nuisances from the board.
ing house menu were considered. Ezra
Standridge, who is one of the towns
most successful boarders, stated that
prunes had been staple three times
a day at the hash emporium which he
patronized until about six months ago.
Mr.. Standridge said that he cured the
landlady of the deadly prune habit by
the use of mice. Mr.. Standridge rec
commended that the remains of q
shredded mouse be placed in the prune
dish of the landlady, and advised it as
a sure cure. The association will dis
cuss methods of determining whether
pressed chicken is young hen or old
rooster at the next meeting. The meet
Ing closed with the singing of the
boarders' ode, Short Sheets Make the
Bed Seem Longer."-Kansas City
Star.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
Indians and Priests, as Result Of un.
expected Meeting, Thought Each
Other "Haunts."

British Headquarters-An amusing
Ger commanding clearing hospital
which is now being used as GONZALES
cent hospital, writes a correspondent
of the London Times. His hospital Is
housed in a Cistercian monastery.
Among the wounded were consid-
cradle body Of Pathans, who, after the
manner of their kind, had no sooner
had their wounds attended to than they
began to wander about the building
and explore what kind of place it
was to which they had been brought.
They chose for this amusement the
hour-between two o'clock and three
o'clock in the morning-when the
monks were at complins. Some of
them even went so far as to get into
the monks beds and settle down there.
In due course the monks returned
and there was a scene of frantic ex-
element. The Pathans, seeing these
white figures walking along the cor
ridors and coming into the rooms,
thought that the building was haunt
ed by ghosts, while the monks sudden
ly confronted by a crowd of black hui
man shapes, became obsessed with the
idea that their monastery had been
invaded by a host of black phantoms.
Each side began to shout with the
fury Of fear at the other. Luckily,
they made such a noise that the at
tention Of my informant was attracted
and he succeeded in putting matters
right.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
Ely News Notes.

Mrs. Robert Hooper and little
babe who was called to Hannibal
by the illness of her returned to
this city Monday.
Miss Beulah Owen, of Hassard
was in this city Tuesday.
Walker Bixler, of Gladstone, Iowa
came Monday to visit his father,
Will Bixler.
Misses Clifford Lovelace and
Mary Crane were shopping in Mon
roe City Thursday.
Edd Feeney and Lou Boone were
Hannibal visitors Thursday.
Robert Hooper went to Hannibal
Wednesday to see his son who is
sick.
Leo Hooper made a business trip
to Monroe City, Thursday.
James Barnes lost a Jersey COW
Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frances Moss were
shopping in Monroe City Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Will Wadsworth.
Mrs. Jim Brooks and Miss Leila
Tuley were Monroe City visitors
Friday.
Mrs. Homer Corder and little
daughter, Virginia returned to this
city Friday after several days visit
with V. S. Corder of Monroe City.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Moss and son
Owen spent Friday with Steve Owen
and family.
Several from this place attended
the sale at Zimmerman Thursday.
Will Youell of Monroe City was
in this city Friday.
Larkin Goisuch made a business
trip to Shelbina Friday.
Mrs. Jim Corethors and daughter
Misssl Bessie and son. Johnnie were
shopping in Monroe City Saturday.
Albert and Walker Bixler were
in Monroe Saturday.
Mr. and Mrs. Edd Feeney and
little son. Thomas Edward were
! visiting in Monroe City Saturday
| afternoon.
Misses Myrmel Young and
Dorothy Boone were shopping in
Monroe City Saturday.
Mrs. John Moss and little son.
Owen were shopping in Monroe
City Saturday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
Good Men Are Scarce.

Col. E. Polk Johnson of Louisville,
who fought for the Confederacy, read
something in the dispatches from the
front the other day that reminded him
very much OF what happened when
he was serving in the western army
in the Civil war. II remember It was
a wet, cold, rainy night in the middle
Of winter" said the veteran, when q
long, lean chap In my regiment was or
dered to go on picket duty. He
thought the situation over for O min
ute and then he turned to the ser
geant who had brought the message.
You 60 right straight back whar you
come from he drawled, and tell the
cap'n Jest natchelly can't do It. I
got q letter from Gin'ral Bragg this
mawnin', and he said good men was
gittin' almighty skeerce In this here
army, and for me to take good care Of
myself"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
MANY KINDS OF ARTICH0KE
Plant Really 10 a Variety Of Thistle,
but Man Has Greatly Improved
Its Edible Qualities.

The artichoke, which originally
came from Barbary, Is not a botanical
species, but a variety of the thistle,
which grows spontaneously all along
the African coast Of the Mediterra-
mean from Morocco to Palestine. 1t is
now cultivated extensively in France,
where those which come from Brit
tany and Algeria are the species most
highly esteemed. Even of these there
are many varieties, such as the Ca
mus artichoke of Brittany, the
bronzed artichoke of Roscoff, the big
green artichoke of Laon, and the vio-
let artichoke of Provence. There are
also varieties which come from Italy,
Spain, India and Canada, to say moth
Ing of the Jerusalem artichoke, ia
nous for the enormous size of its
leaves. In the south Of France, when
the crop is abundant, the heads are
carefully picked Of all their leaves, and
the hearts dried in the sun, put up
In sacks. and stored away for winter
use. These hearts, when boiled in
water, or in a rich beef broth, become
soft and recover their form, color and
flavor. They are then taken from the
pot, the water and broth strained
away, the center is filled with forced
meat, and they are eaten either fried or
baked,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
Ancient wax Scale

Interesting results obtained by the
government chemist by making
analyses of old wax impressions on doc
uments in the public record once are
described by Mr.. Ainsworth Mitchell
in knowledge. The seals examined
dated from the thirteenth to. the
eighteenth century. and differed but
little from modern sealing wax. Most
Of them consisted Of mixture OF bees
wax and resin, others Of pure bees
wax. Two seals, OF the dates 1899 and
1A1S. respectively, were composed OF
wax. the characteristics OF which
agreed more nearly with those of East
Indian than OF European beeswax.
The wax composing an impression
&um the great seal OF 1850 agreed. In
chemical and physioal characters.
with pure bseswax Of today. The pig
ment In the red seals was vermilion.
whine the green seals contained YER
diGTia.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
There Was a Difference.

In the lobby of a hotel they were
speaking about speed fiends, and Con-
gresham Wyatt Aiken of South Car
DINA recalled story about Jones.
One afternoon Jones was rambling
along the boulevard when he ran
across friend Smith. Handshake and
then some talk, which included the
war, the weather and automobiles.
by the way" said Friend Smith
recollectively. IT hear that you have
been buying q machine"
"Yes." proudly admitted Jones. II
brought her home about two weeks
ago."
Some speed. OF course" returned
friend Smith. How fast can the ma
chine GOT"
WELL" answered Jones with q
smile that was half sad. ut depends
altogether on who is timing II. my
self or a country constable"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23

We are ready to buy your grain
Top prices paid.-Green & TOOley.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23

For Sale-Five-acre tract. large
house and all out buildings. first
class repair. ideal location. a snap
for quick sale. See Node Green. Is
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23

Fall Pasture for Rent-Blue grass
and white clover mixed. Plenty
of water. Inquire of W. W.
Mitchell 9-23
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23

Typewriter For Sale-Large size
15-inch bar Oliver typewriter in
good condition. Used but little.
Apply at Democrat.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23
For Sale.

Several good residence properties
at bargains. good terms.
A. S. Jayne BISON.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1915-09-23

Repairing by an expert See Lane
the Tailor. II
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-23
A WINNER

81 went to the races with my wife
Yesterday" said the man in the Palm
Beach suit. Never again for me-
sShe insisted that l bet $50 for her on
a hundred-to-one shot just because
, she liked the colors the jockey wore"
= 'eWomen will do those things" re-
turned the other 81 always put the
money in my pocket and tell my wife
I've placed it according to her i'm
structions."
'That's exactly what l did, but the
COMPOUNDED horse won by three
lengths. IN. Y. World.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-23
1T WOULDN'T WAIT

II WOOLDN ENNII
Two Hishmen decided that they
would go hunting. Aiming themselves
they started out from Denver seeking
game.
After much walking Sheehan saw
a bird not far distant and raised his
gun to fire. O'Callaghan yelled to
him:
Don't shoot, Sheehan, your gun
isn't loaded yet! Load your gun first,
man.
''Shure an OF know thatw cried
Sheehan, raising his gun, ''but fire Oh
must, begorra, as the burrud won't
wait"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-23
DELIGHTED HIM

To-day, for the first time, 1 was
really delighted to hear my neigh
boris piano going"
Something worth listening to, I
suppose?"
81 should say so. I heard the in
stallment men taking it away Mu-
steal America.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-23

> n.y-a young teller in our offs got
= married recently to CURL who is
5 strong on looks but is amatshure
Aaround the cook stove
last mite mr. maine hussles home
lSEfrom the offs after blowing his head
3 off about the swell meel the wife was
going to dish up to him that mite
they set down to the label and
wife chirps out, deerie have pre-
pared the hole dinner all by myself
took speshial panes with that dish
you are eating deer, wife says can
Gyou CESS what it is
~ & the pore boob gesses everything
from pancakes to pie
o, no, she says, i learnt that in the
domestic science skooL try just 1
more CESS
is it the diploma, he inkwires
& he never did find out for he had
to spend the rest of the evening pur-
sWading wife not to go home to
smother
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1915-12-07

Davis-Davidson Company, Dry Go
Clothing, Shoes, Millinery.
Dawson Drug Co., Drugs and JeWe
E. B. Durham & Co., Furniture, v
ons, Buggies and Harness
Dawson Steam Laundry.
Dawson Ice and Coal Company.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
EVERY LEGAL PHASE
OF RIGGS BANK CASE
TO BE INVESTIGATED
Violations of National Bank
Act May Be Charged in
Counter Suit by the
Government

Washington. April 14.--Interest in
the effort of the Riggs National bank
to get injunctions against Secretary
McAdoo and Comp ptroller of the Cur
rency Williams centered today on the
question of whether these proceedings
might not be overshadowed by a coun-
ter attack, alleging violations of the
national bank act by the banks Off
cials.
MIR, Williams tonight declined to DIS
cuss this phase of the matter or to
indicate whether the governments case
would GO beyond civil proceedings 1t
became known, however, that careful
consideration was being given TO all
statements and correspondence be-
tween officials of the bank and the
comptroller's office.
Before any decision is reached in re-
speet to the governments course, il
Is said, every bit of evidence in its
possession will be examined with the
greatest care and resort will be had
to a federal grand jury only if treas
ury officials and counsel are convinced
the law has clearly been violated.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
Pass Captured

Lemberg. April l3.--tNia Petrograd and
London, April H. 9a5 p. m)-n desuer-
ate attack by the Russians on the right
flank Of the Austrian position at Mexola.
bofe2, on the Hanearlan side OF the cast
Beskid mountains and about so miles south
of Przemysl the Austriaus were forced
after i2-heur battle TO mako u preeipi-
tate retreat
The whole main crest inthis district
which the Austrians considered In
presnable, now is in Russian hands
The main body OF the Austrian army
moved on Rostolza. where they found
the Russians prepared in strong de-
fensive position. and they again were
repulsed. Another attack made by the
Austrians in the southern tableland OF
uzsolS and Neretzkih met with "A SINH
lar cheek. the Russians occupying a
plateau three miles from uzsok.
The left flank of this Austrian army.
under command of Archdulxe Joseph
Ferdinand, Is being gradually exposed
by the Russian advances toward Bart
field and Gummieno.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
LOCK SEVENTEEN ON
WARRIOR RIVER WILL
Be OPENED TODAY
Alabama Will Have Water
way 500 Miles Long.
Project Has Cost
$12,00O,0OO

Mobile, April id-With the opening
of lock II on the Warrior river senoa-
hled Tor tomorrow morning there will
be minimum depth of six feet of wa
ter by the Mobile river. the Tombigbes
river and the Black Warrior river from
Mobile to Sanders Ferry in the min
eral district of Alabama The govern
ment project viii have expended Sf2.-
100000 In the completion of the prof.
ect business men from Mobile. Tus-
caloosa and Birmingham will attend
the opening. Lieut.. Col. Charles Kel-
Ter. United States engineer. will make
an inspection Monday and Secretary of
War Garrison is expected early in May
10 view the completed work The dis
tance from Mobile to Sanders Ferry.
by water is 500 miles.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
THE WAR SITUATION


(
To
nrepulsed andtna
IN the Chapel
the figures approximate these
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
French Rennri

Paris, April t4.-(via London. tt:sc
p. M ronight's official communica-
tion said
Near Berry Au Bac yesterday even
ing we carried a German trench which,
however the enemy recaptured. During
the night We We're able to establish
ourselves in the immediate neighbor-
hood In a new trench
In Champagne, In the region of
Perthes, a detachment of German in
iantry attempted TO come out of their
trenches but were stopped short by
our fire.
AT Lese Parges counter attack
debouched Yesterday from Combres hut
II was Immediately stopped by our ar
tillery.
In the forest of ALLY we have ex-
tended our front and repulsed a coun-
ter attack
In the forest of Montmare we have
made progress to the west of our lines
and repulsed two counter attacks Some
prisoners and one 31-centimetre gun.
many rifles and a quantity of ammuni-
tion remained in our hands"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
SYNDICATE BUYS
NEW HAVEN NOTES

New York, April ia syndicate of
New York and Boston banking houses
has purchased from the New York. New
11aven and Hartford railroad $27 000,-
600 one-year per cent notes. The pro-
ceedings together with $3,000,000 cash
from the railroad company's treasury,
viii be used on May | to pay Off $20-
100000 5 per cent collateral notes OF
the New Haven and 100000 per
cent notes of the Harlem River and
Port Chester railroad, guaranteed by
the New Haven. The collateral back OF
the new note issue is composed of
securities of the New H=yen road hav-
ing a valuation in excess of $40.-
100000
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
Attack u. S. Policy

Amsterdam. April 11.--tS:i0 p. M
The Hamburger Nachrichten comments
ing on the German memorandum to the
United States, recently given out by
Count Won Bernstorff, the German am
bassador, declares the United States
CLOVIS England to act as she pieases
and supplies her with all the war ma
terials she requires and continues:
Many one who has had to OBJ
serve this procedure of the United
States has struck the table with his
fist. The anger created in Europe Is
freater than the people ever there ais
low themselves to imagine.
"Our foreign office has found the
right language against France, against
England and, without any sort of con-
slderation, against the United States.
too. With consideration and forbear-
anee we get no further forward. The
German people will gradually finish
with their declared enemies. although
tremendous efforts will be required.
but behind them stand other enemies
Continued on Page TweIve)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15

The freight ears pushed by the en-
gine struck the street car fairly in
the middle, smashing it almost to bits.
The wreckage was pushed along nnn-
tired feet, several of the dead and in
fore the train was stopped. Others We're
crushed in the spltntered mass of steel
and wood and it was several hours be-
fore they could be eXtricated
As tie dead We're taken from the
debris they we're laid in a row along
the street, pending the arrival of the
coroner -ater they We're removed 10
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
TODAY'S AGE-HERALD

1-French reports on losses at Neuye
Chapel.
German Zeppelin over England.
Thirteen killed in car collision.
Russian advance brought to standstill
2-Tuscaloosa to entertain judiciary body.
3-Lamont helps unravel railroad knot.
4-Edtorial comment
b-Reported DIR. Sanders will resign
Third arrest made in Barton case
Underwood talks at Rotary meeting
Joseph D. CARRIER dies in Demopolis.
6-Socety. a+s.
7--Sports.
9--America wants German dyestufrs
n--Markets.
12-Wounded soldiers of France honoreds
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15

talked with the secretary even longer.
Officials here have been kept closely
informed Of the progress of the confer
ences at Peking and frequently points In
the Japanese demands have been dis
cussed informally by diplomatic represen-
satives of the Japanese and Chinese gov
ernn-e ents with the state department Press
reports have indicated that deadlock
had been reached in the negotiations at
Picking. but officials here declined to re-
veal tho nature Of official advices from the
Chinese capital
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
AIRMEN TO PATROL
AMERICAN BORDER

Washington. April 14.-First Lieutenants
T. De w Milling and Byron O. Jones
and eight enlisted men with an aeroplane
from the army aviation school at San
Diego, Cal, were ordered today to
Brownsville, Tex, to aid in the enforce
ment of neutrality during the fighting at
Matamoros.
An aeroplane army officers believe, af-
fords the best means of patrolling that
section OF the border
The expedition already is on it's way
from San Diego.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
BRYAN CONFERS WITH JAP
AND CHINESE DIPL LOMATS
Holds Separate Conferences With Vscount Chnda Ka
Washington Officials Keep in Close Touch
With Negotiations at Peking

Washington, April Secretary Bryan
held separate conferences today with Wis.,
count Chinda, the Japanese ambassador,
and Kai Fui Shah. the Chinese minister,
at which it is believed the pending Jap
anese-Chinese negotiations were dis
cussed. Neither the state department nor
the visiting diplomats announced the pur-
pose OF the conferences.
The Japanese ambassador was with Mr..
Bryan for nearly a half hour and was
followed by the Chinese minister. who
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15

Newcastle, April 15.-C2:45 a. MIA Yep
pelin raid was made in the Tyne district
of Northumberland county last night. 1t
appears that the Zeppelin reached Blyth
from across the North sea al about $40
o clock, passed over Blyth and Cramling-
ton and proceeded to the neighborhood
of Seatonbuln.
Bombs Were dropped on several villages
passed by the airship-five at Chopping-
ton, three at Wallsend two at Seaton-
burn and one at Bedlington
The airsiip passed near North Shields
and Newcastle. While neither city was
visited both took precautions against at
tack by eXtinguishing lights.
No Lives Lost
Newcastle Eng, April 15.-(2:5f a. MI
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-04-15
ALPHA TAUS TO HAVE
SMOKER TONIGHT

The Alpha Tau Omega Alumni associa- :
ton of Birmingham will hold a smoker
at the Hotel Hilman tonight at o'clock
President Vassar L. Allen announces that
there will be an election of officers and
several important reports from the various
committees. and urges every member to
be present. There are about $50 members
of the Alpha Tau in this district and a
great deal of interest is taken in tho local
chapter