The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
SANDY BEND JUSTICE
Judge Hoke Seldom Fails to Hit the Point

, cIar him? Not any. He jest leaves that
crittcr in peaceful possession and saunters
down to hunt me un and say:
' 'JCdGe. I'm a-wditln' Of the law.
What sort Of law" says |.
"'Th" kind with justice in it, says he;
! Humble Hill has jumped my claim. and
/ I want the law to jump him.
when he told mo that he hadn't even
I fired one shot at Bill. l was knocked out
! with amazement and Indignation, but as
he persisted in dcmandin' warrant
had to issue one Humble Bill is now he
fore us and settin' by the stove over
thar is Weepin' Jim. Thar won't be no
miXin' in by the lawyers. It's case fur
me TO decide, and | feel myself ekal to
the occasion. My decision is about as fol-
Icrs. and thar's no buckskin fringe on the
':Fustly, Wcepin' Jim hain't got the
backbone of a tishwOTm.
secondly. Humble Bill has got the
cheek of a government mule.
Thirdly. when a man comes home from
ROarin' Hin and finds he's bein jumped:
it's his bOunden dOoty under the United
States Constitution TO shoot
''Fourthly. while we've got law and jes-
tice, it's calculated that they only come
in after the gun-in other words shoot
"FifthIy. this court hain't blamin' Hum
bile Bill fur grabbin' good thing,
'.Sixthly if it had bin this courts
claim, he'd hcv plugged Bill so full of
holes that he'd hev answered fur screen
door!
:.Seventhly. as Weepin' Jim has no case
in law. and as he disturbed this court
at game of poker to demand his jeS-
tice. he's fined s. spot cash.
"Eighthly. and lastly. Humble Bill is
sot at liberty, with his character as pure
as the driven snow. but as a sOt of warn
in to him aG'in future Claim-jumpln and
as a caution TO him not to be so burned
humble fur month or so to come, he Is
hereby fined a like amount. and the pair
y,F nronf. raf FGn0
too fast to please the enterprlsln popu-
lace
The Case of Chnin-LtEhtninE Bill.
our other case" said his honor, after
an intermission of two minutes. is that
Of DeadwoOd Sam vs.. Chain-Lightnn
They came over here from Bloody
Creek about three months ago and set
up as Holy TerrOrs.
men, and though the rest of us are bit
on the shoot, VIC let the two desperate
men elbow us aside.
Il frankly confess that l have given
them more Ieeway than | ever did any
other critters. and l reckon that most
Of you have done the same:
"Deadwood Sam is married to hait-
breed suuaw, as you all know, and Bill
is goin il alone. Sam has shack half
a mile down the river. and he was a-set-
tin by his own hearthstone the other
night when Bill rides up on his cayuse
and commands
You bring her out p. d. O."
Who says Sam.
That wife of yours
"'Fur why
'Rekasp she is goin' away with me"
WAS DeadwOod heeled?'
He was"
Did he shoot"
Not a shot, He Jest let Bill bear the
souaw away. and then come running TO
me for a warrant and justice. and he was
weepin like child.
Il has to issue a warrant. and when
the constable serves it, eNpeCtin' TO be
shot full of holes, Chain -Lightnin' Bill
Curls up like a rabbit.
They are a pair of buffers. and the
case is thrown out of court. and as they
pass out YOU are expected to do your
duty as patriots and eminent citizens.
Don't be afraid OF kickin' too hard