davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27
BUY RED CROSS SEALS.

When we realize that one person
out of every four in America who
! dies between the ages of fifteen and
fifty dies from tuberculosis, and
that it is mainly through voluntary
subscriptions that the fight against
the disease is initiated, we realize
what the sale of Red Cross Christ
mas seals means to Minnesota.
The economic loss to this state
annually from tuberculosis is ten
million dollars, which means that
every one of us loses five dollars
personally. Practically all of the
$500 annual deaths from tubercu-
los1s are preventable if taken in time
and properly treated. When you
buy Red Cross Christmas seal you
help Minnesota to take them in
time" and to eliminate the needless
suffering and needless loss occa-
stoned by the white plague in this
state. tuberculosis leaves more des-
titute widows and orphans than any
other disease-Red Cross seals save
families from misery.
If Minnesota raises the fund
which it should, it will mean that
poverty will not prevent the proper
treatment of tuberculosis victims.
Adequate funds will make possible
the free services of physicians for
diagnosis and treatment, the care of
a visiting nurse, and the provision
Of proper diet and open air living for
the patient and protective care for
the families of the poor.
OF course we want our community
to rank among the first in per capita
seal sales this year. The way to do
this is not to talk about it, but to
buy seals. Let sus put them on our
calling cards, on our private and
business corresponding bills, pack
ages and everything that will hold
them from now until the end of the
year. II each Of us purchased one,
hundred seals, think Of what our
community and the state could do in
Kidding itself Of disease next year!
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27

Mr.. VIM. Evans of 9 e. Sixth street
left Tuesday for a hunting trip in
Anoka county and returned Thursday
With several brace of ducks, quails
rabbits and squirrels. He had a fine
time. -,
PUBLIC OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
II. |. WILLIAMS, OFFICE OF ATTY
W. T. FRANCIS, SUITE 329 AMERl
CAN NATIONAL BUILDING, FIFTH
AND CEDAR. ALL WORK CONF,
OENTIAL.
TAKE NoTIcE.-AII matter intend.
ed for publication in THE APPEAL
must reach the office Thursdays, to in.
sure Ito insertion. Communications
must bear the name Of the sender to
receive any attention.
Have you been to Young's Cafe, 1873
=. Third street lately? Well, you want
to go. They have renovated, rear
ranged and fixed things generally.
You can get good dinner there for
rs cents. Go try 'em.
The Women's Progressive Club
meets the first and third Thursday
afternoon of each month from 2:30 to
1880 o'clock at the Wilder Charity
building. This club works exclusively
for Crispus Attacks Home.
WHEN YOU WISH FRESH FRUIT
OR VEGETABLES, JUST TELE-
PHONE TO J. H. THURSTON, THE
PEDDLER, DALE 62ee. NEVER
TOO LATE OR TOO EARLY; IF
YOU WANT ANYTHING CALL HIM
AND HE'LL COME. RESIDENCE,
1874 RoNDO STREET. III. :
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27
CHURCHES

PILGRIM BAPTIST ct11pc1,
serv street and Summit avenue. Sund a.
son y - PSrreaehing at 100 a. N Icy
p. u 6 H sunday "a; SCHOOL at 1880. B. a9 ~
F F,'n ~, rehearsal, Wednesday e soH and
tended s R and weddings PROMPTLY an IT,
Res: sss w Ksx: c q; n; MurreH. pastor or
study at church. Tel Jackso:n Ppaasstor's
cornc. o, BAPTIST CHURCH
eolner Rice and Fuller streets. sunda,.
services: Preaching, II a. m and 10y
49, sunday School 12:45: Daacoaos.
meet1ng Z; B. Y. P. U. 1880 D. N p,,S
nc cordially invited: Rev. ~ II ~
Oonald, pastor, e51 w. Centro, a,.o w.
r, 81: JAMES A. M b. cH11po.,
ic eaef a Ing Jay streets. sunSa1 coz COZ
prayer m zee IN M; IN 1;so p: m. wednesday
on ON Monday and Teusday at hanea yistts
npe e and Thursday. Med nGme Wed
SIMS hnso9Pa asfo 4s5 Jay street Rev. = 1q p
Jones. Pastor.
s. PHILIPS EPISCOPAL, n,ss,o>,
e etraot aurora avenue and Mac SsSlpN
ton e q, f S3o1nday services: Early ceiebran
t fseiie9ration Of Holy Eucharist mr.+ hisa ign
e eni5o sundays. 1900 q. m. Maths .eo ane
a ana fourth Sundays. 1900 a. m s SHcGa9
sHcnool, 1880 p. m. Brotherhood ~ ~
W eeK ser S;Se D. m: vespers, ESQ p. M.
class, 500 p. m. Fridays. evsnina nsn tloh
S S:00 p. m. Saturdays Holy EScRR.r ist
S az g. M, Rev. A. H. Lealtad. Rectnr'
ZION PRESBYTERIAN cr71pcr,
harrington and st. Anthony avenna. S Sv.'
gay gay services, preaching, 11:Oo A. NJ ANA
S:oo T. NJ: Sunday School 1880 p NJ:
W HeeRg m psSRles meeting. 200 M: MID.
Kev: G. W. Camp, pastor. Manse ~
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27
SAINT PAUL

Mr.. and Mrs. Tracey Young have
moved to 472 w. Central Ave.
ALBION w. HOLDEN, paperhang-
er, 527 st. Anthony Ave. Tel. Dale
2O55. -. .. -.a.
If you want to know all about Pro-
lection VS.. Free-Trade send postal card
request for free sample copies of THE
AMERICAN ECONOMIST, 339 Broad
way, New York
FOR RENT-Nice four room fiat,
GAG Fuller street, $13 per month.
Open for inspection Tuesday and
Thursday afternoons, other days even
ings. Inquire upstairs. 11-20.
For God so loved the world that He
gave His only begotten Son that who
soever believeth in Him should not
perish but have everlasting life. John
3:16. Selected by r. w. Giles.
The Minnesota State Federation OF
Colored Women's Clubs is working
on series Of meetings for the bene
fit Of our young people in Minnesota.
Watch for dates. Don't miss them.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27
ODD FELLOWS

q MARS MA LODGE NO. 22o2, G IT, q NJ
y: r; Meets second and fourth Weines.
oay n each month at Union Hall. Aurora
gu hent Streets, at 500 %. M
dMGaanSs0m, N; G.; J. Wesley Kelly. p e
YOU st. Anthony Avenue. D.
oo HnfREDERICK DOUGLASS LODGE M
sOO5, g. y. Q. of o. F. meets second ~ ~;
Halt iHuf'n co MONDAY In each month at Union
S.0n corner aurora and Kent Streets. at
f;oo I'm; p; m. r. A. Hatton, N. a.; James
st: PAUL PATRIARCHY No -.
T TfeEts 1hird Monday in each month at
S Slo4 HAIL. corner Aurora and Kant
p'reSts, at $500 p. m. George 3 r.nwa
H. " F.; Augusta Jones, W. P. R.o"e'
?, HOUSEHOLD OF RUTH No 5se X
y: -. or o. F: meets first and third So ".
o oay IN each month at Union Hom
ooiner aurora and Kent Streets a. on6
Fl pxr1 III. Mrs Martha Wilson. NJ n 0cSo
b Mid ca erie -. Lindsay. W. r., sis Wool;
Minneapolis.
r. 10OuSEHOLD OF RUTH NO 77s .
T r. ": -. r. meets second and fovrt,
~ ne96uay IN each month at Lahor ~
tie HalI. Cor. Fourth street ana rjnL
AMye: south. Mrs. S. Darager. NJ ~ ~ -
1n'ss cora Napier. W. r. ~ w.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27
CASTLE WALK SOlREE.

MRS. MCCULLOUGH CORDIALLY
INVITES you TO ATTEND THE
CASTLE WALK SOlREE AT LANES
HALL CORNER OF NICOLLET AND
EIGHTH STREET, TUESDAY EVEN.
ING, NOV. 80.
NOTICE.
THE OPENING OF THE YOUNG
PEOPLES CLASS ALSO OCCURS ON
THE SAME DATE AND AT THE
SAME PLACE ONLY BEGINNING
AT 7:3O O'CLOCK AND CONTlNU.
ING UNTIL $50. CHILDREN MUST
BE ACCOMPANIED BY OLDER PER-
SONS. .n.... .
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27

+ !. = !: = : !: :. :. : !: : = = y
N. w. PHONE COLFAx 1896
MRS. ROBERT A. VAN HOOK
FASHIONABLE DRESSMAklNG
AND LADIES' TAILORING
PARTY GOWNS A SPECIALITY =.
1912 ELLIOTT AVENUE
MINNEAPOLIS, MINI.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27

. GOPHER LODGE NO. INK =
=. of the World Meets $1,000 e; Q.
gay IN each month at Union Hail I eon mes
LET Wau aurora and Kent Streets n COZ,
Kent Kent .stre e.; r. M. Johnson, secy., 572
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27
SOCIETY y DIRECTORY
ST. PAUL

MOST WoRsHIPFUL GRAND LODGE
,... -OF-
MINNESOTA, A. F. AND A. M.
H. J. SHELTON, Grand Master,
eos e. Sixth St., Duluth, MINI.
G. L. HOAGE, Grand Secretary.
$50 Charles St., St. Paul, MINI.
=, PIONEER LODGE NO. 1, F. AND A,
each month at Union Hall, corner Aurora
ana Kent Streets, at 500 p. nj. W. A.
Benjamin, w. NJ; J. H. Dillingham;
Secy, $50 Rondo
PERFECT ASHAR LODGE NO. D. F.
ana A. M. Meets second and fourth
tuesday. in each month at Union Hail.
corner Aurora and Kent Streets' at 8.n1
P m. R. M. Johnson, W. M: Oliver
Taylor, Secy.
,,BETHEL CHAPTER NO. %, R. A. M
Meets Meets second Thursday in each month at
0nlon Hall, Aurora and Kent Streats Of
S S:O0 p en- m: John A. sayles, secy., 47s
pI PILGRIM CoMMANDERY NO. %
SSnlsnts Iemplar. Meets fourth Thurs
ICY III each month at Union Hall. cor
1 aeToe A4rora and Kent Street w. +.
fRS Gndo, s f. g.; John A. sayles, secy 479
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1915-11-27

P, NAT M,1 TgR 3c9;R LODGE NO. 2. K. OF
ToIrth Thursdays in each mnn+, ana nd
c corner F TsmR1e Bldg. Second fioo r.
nue south at s :15e9 pt and RE5Fhth az:
" Wo good standing are Welcome. n4R3sfn ns
81 ' Wash ~ e.; VIM. F. Newton. K Fly
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
TO AID ERRINe GIRLS.

Los Angeles Sept. "A woman
judge in the county superior court is
tofbe appointed by the Civil Service
Commission. The position will be the
first of its kind created in California,
If not in the United States.
Action of the county follows closely
that of the city in placing Mrs. Aletha
Gilbert in the office of "city MOTHER
where she is at the service Of troubled
parents and erring or ignorant girls.
The woman judge will be known as
a referee. Her findings will be in the
nature of recommendations Juvenile
Judge Sidney NJ Reaves. She will
hear virtually all cases involving wom-
en- defendants and juvenile offenders.
A civil service examination will be
held to create a list of eligibles for
the position. Only those women who
have been admitted to the bar of Cali
fornia and who had experience in pro-
baton work will be considered as quail
flied to take the test.
II the office fills the sphere intend
edit is expected that similar positions
Will be created for women in every
county where they are allowed to hold.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
CAN AMBASSADOR TO RUSSIA.

oh, what have you done? What
have you done?" screamed the Black
Dwarf. 81 will give you anything
you wish if you will only set me free "
for he had fallen on the ground and
could not rise as long as the branch
touched him.
Il want the blind mans eyes," re,
piled Ivan.
Il will go and get Them" wept the
Black Dwarf.
Il will go with you, for you cannot
be trusted" returned Ivan.
so they set out together and soon
got to the Black Dwarf's cave. II was
full of bags of gold he had stolen. The
Dwarf gave the eyes back to Ivan in
a tiny bag. but the boy took up big
sack of gold.
You robbed my friend of his eyes
and will take him this gold to repay
him for his suffering" said Ivan.
That night Ivan cooked a fine sun
per. Then he gave the blind man his
sight again. He was wild with hap
piness, and thanked the boy thou
sand times.
But that is not ALL" laughed Ivan,
dumping the bag of gold down on the
table. Il knew the Dwarf was a rob-
per and how much he had panied you
SO | took this treasure to pay you
back
And out on the table he poured the
glittering coins till they ran off and
fell tinkling on the floor. So the boy
and the man were rich now, and re-
built the castle again.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04

fallen into ruins. But he and the blind
man went into corner of the place
which was still comfortable. Ivan
cooked some supper. brought water,
and when the man was asleep stole out
into the moonlight and climbed the
shaky stones to the very tip top.
The height made him feel faint, but
ne kept on, and at length grasped in
his hand long branch of the red briar
bush. Then he went down carefully
and stole into bed. The next morning
he told the man he would take the cat
tiezout and that in the evening he
would return to get supper.
At noon when he was eating his
lunch, he saw the Black Dwarf coming
out to meet him, so he hid the branch
OF the red briar bush behind him.
When the Dwarf asked for a bit of
bread Ivan offered it to him, but as
the tiny man put out his hand Ivan
jerked out the branch of briar and
struck the Dwarf hard with it.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04

my cows today, as l am sick, will
share my home with you tonight. But
remember, do not let the Black Dwarf
fool you as he did me. II you do he
will steal your eyes, as he did nine.
One day as sat watching my cows a
Black Dwarf came and asked If he
might share my bread. ! gave it to
him, but as ! reached out he grabbed
me by the shoulder and took out both
my eyes.
1.-THE dwarf is very wicked crea-
ture and he keeps my eyes in his
green bag, which is always hanging in
his cave. did not know his tricks
then as l do now Nothing but a
branch of red briar will hurt him.. but
since l am blind l cannot find it. If
could it would be possible to recover
my eyes.
Where does the red briar bush
grown" asked Ivan. He,r
ION the very top of the old castle
ruins, and it must be plucked By the
light of the MOON" replied the man.
81 will get it for you," said brave
Ivan. 81 have sorrows in my own life
and can understand how much you
suffer"
So the blind man went home and
Ivan tended the COWS all day at the
meadow, driving them home at night,
but he saw nothing of the Dwarf.
When Ivan reached the place where
the blind man lived he found it had
once been fine castle, but had now
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04

in, and at once penetrates to relieve all
strain on nerves, cords, ligaments and ali
parts involved. 1t makes the muscles SO
plant that they expand naturally. And at
the same time they are invigorated by tho
absence of harassing pains sos apt to distress
the mind. Whatever will add to the comfort
of the expectant mother Is great and help
full influence since calm and peaceful perind
must have q wonderfully beneficial impress
upon the coming child. Get bottle Of
Mothers Friend of any druggist and you
win realize why SO many women declare II
10 be the most helpful remedy they know Of.
Write today to Bradfeld Regulator Co., 7os
Lamar Bldg, Atlanta, Ca, for splendid
book Of great interest and value to every ex-
pectant mother.1
Among the letters of interest In this book
pne says. in part, "Seven years ago suffered
from Wednesday to Saturday and had to
have instruments. This time was sick only
three hours. I want to tell all that can
not praise Mothers Friend high enough
for the good 1t did me, as had an easy
time and the baby was perfect. ! will always
peak good word for It."
--Adv.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
Bedtime Stories
For Little Folks
IVAN AND THE DWARF.

Ivan, come here at once, or | will
give you a taste of the lash," called
out a burly Russian to small boy
who was busy herding some sheep in
a pen.
Ivan was an orphan. Three years
before his father had died and left the
boy in his uncle's care, but it had been
a sad home.
So the lad was very miserable. In
this state of mind he determined to
run away. Getting up at midnight, he
crept downstairs and was soon on his
Hay alone through the forest, with
po hing but a bit of black bread in a
sack on his back. Presently he met a
blind man coming through the woods
trying to drive few lean cattle. But
the COWS would stray off, and the man
was having hard time to keep them
with him.
81 will drive your herd for YOU sir
s,id Ivan. (Which way do you wish
to go?' q. =.
~ am going to the meadows about
q mile from here; it is the only spot
10 which | know the way" replied
,ho hind man. "If you will care for
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
WOMAh'S PART N
4 THE NEWS TODAY
LIKING FOR MOVIES FATAL.

4
New York, Sept. 4.--Desire to wit,
ness motion picture production to
which her daughter. and the latter's
husband had gone cost the life Of Mrs.
Elizabeth Dodd of 1881 West Superior
street. She died yesterday at the
County hospital from injuries suffered
when she fell while sliding down a
rope from the third floor of the fiat
last Sunday evening. Ray Taylor and
his wife locked the fiat when they
went to show. Mrs. Dodd, mothar-in-
law Of Taylor, decided to attend the
same show but found the doors locked.
Then she resorted to the rope, which
broke, and she fell.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
FARM SCHOOL OPENS.

corinth, Miss, Sept. 1.-The AgricuI-
tural High School opened at Koasuth
yesterday, nine miles west of Corinth,
under very favorable Circumstances.
The faculty for the ensuing year is as
follows: Ed. Strickland. principal; T.
II. Underwood. Jr., agriculture and
manual training; Lonnie L. Wilson,
history and mathematics: Miss Mary
Wilson. home science; Miss Natalie
Mcbride. music; T.. G. Hubbard. sew
enth and eighth grades; Miss Matte
Googe. nth and sixth grades; Miss
Ruth Dosgett. third and fourth grades;
Mrs. Van Hale, first and second
grades.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04

mat he had written out for her till her
neart was SO heavy that no farther
sadness could be gained; and this
nourishment of grief was every day
applied She spent whole hours 1T
the pianoforte alternately singing and
crying, her voice often totally sus-
pended by her tears. In books, too as
well as in music, she courted thefmis-
cry which contrast between the past
and present was certain of giving. she
read nothing but what they had been
used to read together. 81,
Such viole4e of affiction indeed
could not be supported forever; it sunk
wSthin a few days into calmer melan-
choly; but these employments, to
which she daily required, her solitary
walks and silent meditations, still pro-
duced illusions of sorrow as lively as
ever" t
There must have been a morbid
pleasure in grief of this sort. Person
ally I have met people who are never
SO happy as when plunged in utter
woe-Irish though his, statement may
sound. They enjoy the feeling that
they of all people have been specially
singled out for sorrow, and they take
ghoulish delight in gloating over
their own miseries.
1t scarcely seems a healthy occupa-
ton this nursing of private woes.
And yet it is INDUCED in by many of
those "so-called highly strung" souls,
who scorn the more stoically inclined
as beings devoid of all proper feeling.
The other day here in Paris wit
messed a scene of this Sort A little
French woman was mourning the fact
that her son was at the war. She was
weeping copious tears at the thought
Of the dangers he was running-an at
titude quite unlike that of the usual
French woman, who always keeps up
a brave front, no matter what she may
be suffering.
This woman was being comforted by
lady in deep mourning. "Your son
will come back safely, so do not weep!"
she was saying in kindly tones.
Later l heard that the comforter had
herself lost husband and three sons
in the war. eYt she could speak calm
ly, and not only control herself, but
seek to control and to comfort 9TH
ers, too.
And this, after all, is the finest exam
pie of courage which a woman can
display.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
ToDAps HELP FOR
HoUSEcLEANERS.

Weights and Measures Table.
4 gills equal one pint.
2 pints equal one quart.
4 quarts equal one gallons
One pint of liquid weighs one pound.
! heaped tablespoon of sugar equals
one ounce.
heaped tablespoon of butter equals
two ounces.
cups of flour equal one quart or
one pound.
s tablespoons of dry material equals
one cupful.
Is tablespoons of liquid material
equals one cupfuI.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
, me Woman With a Tempe, ament'
BY FLORENCE E. sIODER


,,,,,. lave Just been rereading that de-.
ssD.,a 1''s quaint old novel, Sense and
N'''i's'P by Jane Austen, in which
a., heroine of the tale is SO carried
on ~ ~ ne excess Of her own feelings
, uu all and every occasion tnst s sss
Sorts h' - aerssif and her family into all
,b,us u u troubles. Moderation in anv.
She .o % quite unknown to her; in fact,
and s su,ns' 1t as something too tame
temns rm :. lor one of her highly strung
This thin excuse Of ho,,,
di,,oos vosers multitude of pecca.
day i, = me lives of many people to.
what, y the s'-at modern plea. the
indication for all manner Of 'i foo,, ,as
hess. ~ r VI iooiish-
The heroine Of Jane Auster,s noro,
referred to above, is an example Of ex'
o temperament" and has, her
counterpart in some modern maidens
~. Ouen' fortunately, the number js
not many. In few terse sentences
'He author tells us how her heroine
DenaVed when her lover was called
away very suddenly on important bust.
hess. - '' 'u'i-
49,
marianne would have thought her,
'ei very nexcusable had she been
able to sleep at all the first night after
pf''lhg from Willoughby. She would
ave been ashamed to look her family
'Nehe race the next morning had she
hol risen from her bed in more need
VI repose than when she lay down in
IT, But the feelings which made such
eonposure disgrace left her in no
uaheer OF mourning 1t. She was awake
Tue whole night and she went the
greatest part of it. She got up with a
heaoache, was unable to talk and un-
wiling to take any nourishment, CIV
ing pain every moment to her mother
and sisters, and forbidding all ATTEMPT
at consolation from either. Her SEN
sibilily was patent enough!
When breakfast was over she
walked out by herself and wandered
about the village, indulging the reccl-
lection of past enjoyment, and crying
over the present reverse for the most
Of the morning
The evening passed off in equal
Indulgence of feeling. She played
over every favorte song that she had
been used to play to Willoughby, every
air in which their voices had been
oftenest Joined and sat at the instru-
Fent gazing on every line of music
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
WELL KNOWN HYMN WRITER ILL

Remington, VT, Sept. AIRS. An
ME Sherwood Hawks, well known as
a writer of hymns, is reported to be
seriously ill at her home here. Many
of her hymns have been translated in
to foreign languages and sung all over
the world. One of the best known of
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1915-09-04
Momentous Future
In Moman's Mind

The expectant
mother rcvolves in
her mind all we TN
derstand by destiny.
And It Is Of the utmost
Importance that hei
physical comfort b.
our first thought. Their,
is a most splendid rem
edy for this purpose
known as "Mother'.
Friend" It Is applied
over the muscles Of ths
stomach 0entlv ruhhed
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-09-03

en-, because I'm q nervous woman
am that" And then the Duchess Of
Deviled Kidneys got q strangle hold
on her green umbrella and ducked for
the grub foundry.
Aunt Martha sighed and went in the
house.
Hep" I said; this scene with Her
Highness Of Clamchowder ought to be
an awful warning to you. No man
should get married these days unless
he's sure his wife can juggle the fry
ing pan and take a fall out Of an egg
beater. They've had eight cooks in
eight days, and every time new face
comes in the kitchen the coalscuttle
screams with fright.
You can see where they've worn a
new trail across the lawn on the re-
treat to the depot.
IT'S an awful thing. Hep! Our
palates are weak from sampling diff
ferent styles of mashed potatoes.
I'VE had one last week who an
swered roll call when you yelled Phyl-
lis.
Isn't that q peach of q handle for
kitchen queen with q map like
the Borough of Bronx en- a dark night ?
she came here well recommended
by herself. She said she knew how
to cook backward.
I'VE believed her after the first
meal, because that's how she cooked.
Phyllis was very inventive girl.
She could cook anything on earth
or in the waters underneath the
earth, and she proved 1t by trying to
mix tenpenny nails with the baked
beans.
When Phyllis found there was no
shredded oats in the house for break
fast she changed the cover of the
washtub into sawdust and sprinkled 1t
with the whisk broom, chopped fine.