davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25
OInsoSN AI05,RNf zeIFVne

penter bor u~nierer Ginie n~ieoergemGbt 81
8oben, pbue ugenbpo ein8uOrtngsn,
Gin3ig unb oIein bel un0 iibli9 Reus
bile, no man i9on in sngiter @efedtss
beriibrung Itanb, fam IS al gu6tdmpfeH.
@eas fran30ftIde idpere minenperfer
~fsaerten in bieiem 6rte ieit benz friihen
Morgen f4on auf bic bon uns beieBten
9dufergruppen; ni4ts bieIem g~etpaItigen
Rdbtampfmittel 9leidipertbiges batten
mir an bieIer @teIe ertgegen8uieBer. 9a
Iiebt in benz ourd uns tDieber ~getponnenen
Ortst6eiI Der 4bjutant zines tbiringiiden
8~ataiaons, ein ReierDeoffi8ier Der GeIbs
artiuerie, cine baperiIde 6elptanone. Qm
8. Mai batten bic &unouiere fe berldfen
miiFen, 9erf6tub un0 Muuitiou aber bors
Der Osritedt. Qua Oieie fiRbet Der Diff
3ter. Mit 3tpei Snfanteriiten bebient er
auf bas t~pirtiamite bieie J~euertpaffe i'm
9%duIertampf, nit i6r tritt CT aud benz
Acknowledgements entgegen. Sn Nelts
bile ielbft tam Der Qngrtff 3u teinen
sroben g~rse6niFen fibren. Ob bas einc
obtr bas aubere 9au8 mebr benz Beinb
3ufdlt, bas entT6ei6et feline SAIodt. Qber
aug benz 9orf 6sraus gesen 9btIus mod
ten bic 6~rnn3oIen bor0ringen. 6ier liegt
200 Meter 0itlid Neuoille Der airabof,
nit Mauern umgeben in freiem 5elo.
a6t5ig Mlann bes dn5altii6en 8ataillons,
bas bier tdmpft, balten Jpn beIeBt. @egen
3 ubr Ra4mittags Ie9en ie fiioli4 Reus
bile Itorte biergliebrige SaiiBenlinien,
6enen btbt auf llnteritibungen folgen,
borgeben. l1nier Geuer peiit ben Geino
ab. Rod nitt 4 ll6r 1T e, ba sreift
bon SibpeIten Snfanterie an, unb auf Der
StrdBe aug Neubille 6eraus breden 9urs
fog berbor nit 6%dnOgrandten. SIN ras
iden 2auf molten tie bic tur5e Strsde 3us
riidIegen unb ben 8ertbtibiger iiberrennen.
&altbliitig Idieben unfere DhIstetiere bic
Geinbe nieber. Die Teben, 70 gebt e nidt.
Wan mub anbere Mittet bolen. Qrtiasrie
unO RiHenperfer ieBsu Elm, @rdbteine
fplittern, 4reu3e, Grdn3e uno Sdrge mers
ben 5errifen, bic geiaBms fat DerHidtet.
LIN a7 Ibr abenbs bei6lieBt Der &oms
pdgnietibrer ben Hud3ltg. Rldt nett gent
es, nur gerdbe aug Der @eIdobgurbe hers
aug. 6reipiaig ober bleibeu Elm Inter
offi3ier unb 3tpei Wann 5uriid. I'm in Der
8eitIpibe bes &irh6ofes NIT 6anosrdnds
ten bic admeraoen gu beden unb fir Fe
3eit gum Giugraben at g%efpinneu. Damn
erit fam Der Geiub %nadbringen, nm elmer
nelen lebenben Mauer gegeniiber8uiteHen
SIN aabbrintb Iiub nod bieTelbeH 9rups
pen, bic bort am 9. glai getdmpft bdben.
4u9 Ie ba6en nur mebr cine bei Sag
nidt gdnabare @erbinoung mad riitpdrts.
Mie as BEL Reu0ias febt, amen fe nidt.
Sic ieben bort nur Rdu6fhpdben uno
Glammen. Ob mir BAG 9orf beiBsn obsr
Der f5etnb, 1T ibnsn nibt b%etannt; OBJ fe
i'm Often fdon dbgeIdHitten finb. fe MIL
fen es niht. Bon allen Seiteu bdgeln
8runaten, MiHen, SnfauterisseihoFe in
bic 5rimmer, bic emit lire 9rdbeu ma
rem. Bon 0et, 4orb anb Sib berIudeH
bic 5ran5olen bor3ubrinsen. 9ds geeis
ment bait aus unb srfdbrt am abenb, baB
Der groBe feinbli6e ansrifF abseIhlugsn
if, bab bic aomerobeu aud gshdlten bas
ben.
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25

rei6te Der GinidB Der @a4fen grfotse
Gtnige @rdben nabmen fe auriid. gu
Wtorgen bes II. befreiten ite babur9 BIZ
babil9e apmpagnie, bic felt 3tpei SuseH
rings BON 6einbe umi9loHen, unter
f9psriten @erluitsn unO @%ntbebrungeH
i9re Gtelung gebalten bate. Nls elm.
ages @etrdnt bate fie bas aiibltpaHer Der
Wtaihinengepebre beniiben %t0nnen, oa dui
Der tdltigen 90be 8runnen feblten.
Siblid Der Qorettob0be gelang es an
bemIelben @ormittag babii4en 9rendbies
rem, Moulon Mdlon uno bic beiben bort
an 9. Mai bon ben Gran3oIen genpmmes
men 6elbtdnonen 3uriid5uerobern. 3od
cine geii6erte 8erbinoung spiI9en Ga
rencb unb E0u6e8 par bamit nod nidt
erreitt. Quf Der 966e peftlid bes air4s
bofs Soude3 peiter p%or3uorinset, mar
ni6t gegliidt.
Die 5ruge, Oh Gdrencp gerdumt tueroen
fone, tpnnte geitelt perben. Die QntfDort
fiel benz SoIbateu tidt, benz Weniden
i6ner, 9us 9pfer Der tapferen 8eidBung
mar ~notbpenbig. 9enn foIange mir ben
Ort bielten, ber5Dgertsn mir bas Dor
pGrtstommen bes 8einbss' unb nu6nen
i'm idpere 8lutOpfer ub. 9as aber mar
bier unier @efe4ts3psd.
9ur9 ben Giniab peitsrer 9rdfte bic
8erbinbung bprtbiu 81 perbefern, mar bic
Qbidt. Sic tonnte ni6t our ausfibrung
g~elangen, ba am Il. Mdi Hu4mittugs
nteoer groBe fruu80If6e Qngriffe srfoIgs
ten. Qa9 beftigiter gsidieBung bur4
Qrtiaerie griffen bic II. fraH8ofIde Sns
fdnteriesD ibiIon unb 36eile ber 50. 3tpis
I6en ber GtroBe 8uGuds9 ermeles uno
2~ens-Ma5insarbe in bEeiter Gront an;
ben foroeriten Delen folgten ot6te &os
lonntn. @or ~unieren 9inOernifen bras
den tie i'm Geusr unierer 9eI4ibe unb
@efpebrt 3uIammen. No9 einmaI erueas
erten friIhe Sruppen in glei4er 5orm ben
@erIu6, nur I'm ebenfo 8u ideitern. p9os
fran8ofide Regiment 125 1T erIebigt"
t~onnten bic 9abentr melotr. 9efangene
bts 9. fran50Ii9en armeetorps, bic ipds
tex efmdft purben, gaben an, bdB bic II.
Snfanteries DibiFpn an oiefem Gage 5000
Mdnn bat liesen lafen.
9lu6 auF Der 2%orsttob6he febte bas
fran56Ifhe q. Qrmesiorps 5um Qngrifi
an. Gr brad 5uiammen. am gelpdltiss
iten fobte iebob bic SAlnht nm II. Wlai
Radmittags iiibli9 BON Garencp. 3pis
I6en bitiem 8orf unb Der 5cdrpe eins
beitli6 bor3ubreden. mar bic 4bIiat bes
gtinoes. GdnerItes 4ftiderieeutr ans
alien @eI6iiBen Isitete re Elm. 8o4 ourd
bic Danb BON Rauh uub 6euer 6inourd
fab uniers Qrtilsrie aug BEN DdIbden
fiblia GarentD uno aus ben 8rimmern
bon Ga 9argsttt bic Mdfen Dorbrshen.
Inter ben @arben unIerer Sdrdpnsas 3ers
ftob bic fran5DTTde n. Dibifon uub mas
BON Der m~arDftanil6cn 8iDiIion nod nit
dnetiff. Was bier aanone uno 9aubibe
l~eiieten, bds fiel bon RoeliHcourt nc6
Siiben BEN 8epshr 3u. 3roBoem ods
N. uno 10. Qrmeeforps in oihtsn Sdds
rem Bis an bic burh ods fran80iide ars
tiaerieFeuer tart 3erit0rten 9inoernifie
bsrantam, trobbem bic b1perifhe Srdbens
bslaBung bur6 bic 8efhiebung fart eez
litten bate, lanieu bic ftirmtn6eu Reeis
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25

fde Snfdnteries Regimenter our @erfds
gung, nit oenen er am 4bsnb 3piiden
benz Dprf unb Reupiqs dn3u9reifen Be-
febI erbielt. Qrti1trie bersitete ben an=
griff Dor. Sbr Qufmdrid an Der tin8ig
moglideu Stellung beiberisits gimb tonns
te Der frdn30ffdsn 2uftduTtIdrung ni4t
nerborgen bIei6en, Der giniaB Der 8eoba9s
tun9sitelen in bic JnfanterielinieH nidt
ohue betrd6tliGk @srluIte dbseben. unb
bod pdr Is cine Cuff fir bic Truppe,
heraus aus Der ginFormisttit Der SteIs
luugsi4la6t 81 iommen unb a~lffdAren 8u
t0nnen, beinabe pie man IS in Der 5srbit=
GeIbihlaht getbar, fir bic Sommerfelos
faIa4ten erboffts. 9a ertrug man lei4t
gerluite an Mdnn, gtoB uno 8trdt6.
lin Z llbr brad Der angriff log, bic
friI6en Regtmnter, Elm NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
bon @ibendp aug, Elm fddiii6es ii6sr 50be
40 mitten sipiideu ben i'm @efedt itebens
ben Sbeilen. ueber bic fe%inbpdrts abs
falenben 9dnge gait es bor8uItirmen ges
gen bic feinblite SnFanterie, bic it9 in
uniertn borberen SttIurgen unb in leu
dngeIegten @rGben ein5uridteu mebr ais
"a Stunben 3eit ee6nbt bate, gegen bic
9etpaltige feinblihe 4rtilerie, beren 6ier
eingelebte 5euerkitst ieben 8%aumtumpf.
ieben Grbnufpurf better faunten ols duf
einsm idbrelaug g%epo6ntsn S4iebplaB.
Sin 1eueriturm smpfdngt bdber uuiere
G9iiBenipe1en. 6ier unb bort reiBt er
2iiden in bic Sopferen. Qber ieoer peiB,
bab es gift, in iebem e~in3elneH Iebt nur
Der 8rang an ben GeinO. uno e geht!
aus Gonde5 6truus, unteritiibt bon ben
BON 9ipendb Der itiirmeuben Biirttems
bergern, Rebmen baberif9e Sdger ben
9irdbof, Der bas 9orf beberrfht. Meiter
fiibli6 in bic arttaeriemulbe itoben
9abern, @iirttembergsr unb @lIdBs9otbs
ringer, mitten inter ben Sdiiben bic aus
uoniere. Der erite piq isber fein. bic
@afFe, bic Inn iein 9riess9err anDers
traut, bic iiberlegene 9rnft Inn entriB,
ipieoer gu eeninnen. 9iesmdI gelingt's!
Infer iino bic aunonen, infer bic anges
tettetsn Itiptren 9dubibtn. unb ipeitlih
Der Muloe grdbt ii6 bic 3erfebte S6lBens
linie Elm, 6inter iid bic Iberrannte erite
fran3ofldq 2inie laHenO.
BOT bier bic tiefe mulbe einigen 6elsrs
fduB, 70 ftblte er peiter fiolid, tpo bic
5o6In ~borbrangen. Ulit I6peren @ers
lufen nur tonnte bag tdpfsrs Regiment
bic 9obe 1923 ltiirmen unp bdIten. Shr
gum S4ub mltrer artileriebeoba9ttr
n%othnenpiqM Belt lobnts bic Spfer.
au6 III MsHbile bringt Der aampf
Mdnn g,gtn Mann. 9aus UNI 5dus uns
Geuinn. gor alien aber bat infer ans
oriff am Qbtnb bts 10. glai ben JraHs
3oIeu ee3eigt, bab mir nidt ssfpilt Dareu,
ibre angriIfe in Der 9ertbeibigung 81 srs
bulben, ~ionbern boB bic Oh 3ahl 10
i6na6e 9ruppe iid nidt ideuis, ieIbft
an5uertifen.
Die gissnl6aft bic ben SIG i'm aritge
perbiirgt, ben eilsrnen Wilen, unisre Sub
rr uub 1rupps batteu lie bsDieien.
Die nd1nt Gorge Der 5lbrlns bilbste
Gartntp. Sat elmer 5uiel gleia, ums
branoet BON fpilbtr, an ben Geitabeu freis
feHoer Gee. lag bisies 8orf Dor Qnitrer
Gront. auf btr 2orettobobs 5tpar ers
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25

Qbtiiets Nah mttt ata itasit u
itsf Ha8 tgm ltaa6ni Aa glBHa8 lJs.
llb eatfatp hnitu <1a8d tet tayt
tm Htieb umiatt NNnf Utiia,ft. bli
ON p. Giat tt lalbalitit efiflal nab
%aefbW}Rlib so fataslk iH t1ana btt
aanam nat, teh iaaaf ia ba Hasm
nnittu wfaNH ti tu NaFt1t Sober
0ttiitt iatlit tW e6M mllana ra6
aNaia nnb Hag{ntb pat ki 1aaf ahltt
pltifm Ntatt unm66li6. tfl Nati ta
atctts WaaHii,
Nis ORG Na6miitta be t0 fsbt nstlt1.
NriiattitiNlU aai bltItu ElnuHam iaa.
fittt elm fihHldRA gnldnlUit Rtlimtui
sut linluiiabuna btt Adbtau Tn ben o.
fabriihm atitaiti tiH
Dem lisIit scuhti tommdnbiunbn
@tutral hanotn oabtt nlf mtbr ifpti ftis
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25
Die SrOEe s'6la&t Oei
SO 2SdG@ uuO Arras.

De- atob dnedtat nmhtmdsutfiuA 6,ntdl 1aHtts ans
kia 5ulAtltn AT Gem e]tSsnmnit StuiitH ururpu uutt
ptiui NaprHht rem uarsrn = pt btlian Kampit i'm
tuftntr l%iturtrt scudti nao tt s%trelehett
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25

Gin aubitmeter @aTer beg qtldns
tiftsn Sseans sntbdlt 333 aiIogrumm
Sdt5, bas bes GroBen O5suns IS AS,
ods bss norblihen uuo bes iiiblihen giss
meeres 38a &ilogrumm. SIN 8obten
Mssrs finbtn iid aber in Der sIsidsn
iOsar 81 aiIOgrdmm Sab
(ri4tissr Solse).
TaÌˆgliche Omaha tribuÌˆne. [volume] (Omaha, Nebr.) 1912-1926, 1915-09-25

2 h1,a i8 tif tlf blittBt
st Mfmit Nt Hi6attNna
zen N6hrN baffn IA. al tfeiH
am y MlaI hl IIlnilh
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29
HOW ONE MAN GOT HIS START
Ambition to Be Author Not Successful,
But 1t Served a Good Purpose
in the End.

L got my start in life," said a
wealthy retired hardware dealer, lin
singular manner.
You might not think it, l having
passed the major portion of my life in
selling nails, padlocks, stoves and
shovels, but in my early youth my
great ambition was to be a writer, an
author. l had no doubt whatever that
that was what / was cut out for, and
certainly worked at it good and hard;
but none of the publishers seemed to
agree with me. AS fast as 1 sent the
things in to them they would send
them back.
But that didn't worry me. 1 knew
that sooner or later they would come
to like what l wrote and buy it What
got my goat was the expense. 1 was
very ready writer and / wrote long
pieces. The stamps 1 had to use to
send these pieces out and get them
back cost me lot of money.
When / realized how much l was
paying out for stamps / said to my
self. 'Humpf, I'll save up that money
for five years and then I'll go to writ
ing again And for the next five years
l did put aside regularly the amount
that I would otherwise have spent for
stamps, and you would be surprised IL
l should tell you how much it amount
ed to But at the end of that time / did
not again take up writing.
Just at that time the senior partner
In the hardware store in our town
died and his heirs drew out all his in
terest in the firm There was a chance
for q man with a little capital to get
into good business / had the CAPT.
tai, my accumulated stamp money, and
/ bought that interest in the hardware
store.
From that time on was always too
busy to write; but my great success
in the hardware business you can
clearly trace to my original ambition
for authorship
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29
SEEING LIFE W1M
rzm7 JOHN HENRY
VSh WGeOIqeVHObdrf
lgdy .XN4H1 Going Shopping
Going Shopping

and the floor had an Alfalfa carpet SO
a woman could faint wherever she
happened to be standing when told
the price of the particular gown she
had picked to win.
D'Artagnan's grandfather met us at
the front gate and swash-buckled us
into the main Torture Room in the
Inquis1tion.
Suffering Savings Banks, such
gownsi Never before have 1 seen so
many good excuses for a woman to
leave home.
In the meantime D'Artagnan's
grandfather was splashing French
1dioms in all directions until / turned
and gave him the mackerel eye. Then
he switched to English-and killed it
all except a few novels.
"Ahi Madame wishes a new gown.
incest pas? Something chic. Partisan.
ravissant, incest pas? 1 have here
such wonders Paquin. yesl Worth,
Ell! Poiret. yes! Cabot Soeurs, Ell?
Doucet, yesi" Then he nailed me with
the gim1et holes he used as eyes.
rs that the correct batting order for
today?'' inquired politely.
Batting ordaireI" he fumbled, and
She turned and whispered few en-
couraging words to D'Artagnan's
grandfather, whereupon he began to
do Pavlowas hither and thither across
the room until he finally disappeared
He's going to show us the latest
creations" Peaches explained.
What is hep. worried "A
French nobleman over here under
cover to pick up bit of cake money!
''Of course not" she pouted. HE is
M'sieu Voulezvous. the Proprietor OF
the Maison de Splash recognized
authority on women's dress"
Enter M'sieu voulezvous, alias
D'Artagnan's grandfather, at Left
Second, dancingly; followed by Clara
Panatella, blonde and glad of it.
who is the ingenue?'' 1 whispered
.'Shush!" friend wife came back
she is nothing but a manikin parad
ing costume Isn't 1T perfectly love
Typ
grandfather You see what it is
yes, Faded gray chiffon cloth figured
| with re raspberry land a small lemon
| colored flower. You see double fichus
of re material edged with deep cream
COlOToQ bulgarian 6mDrOlQGry Qrap1ne
re shouldaire and crossing in re front
and back-ravissant! Re skirt is vaire
| full at re top with re pannier effect
| at each side and draped into a pane
| of raspberry color silk in re back
which falls down from a girdle of ze
| same raspberry color shk-ravissant
| yesI''
"Exquisite!" murmured Peaches
| "How much?"
| Two hundred feefty dollaire." an
| swered D'Artagnan's grandfather
| without a culver. Some actor, thai
old boy.
1 choked back a couple of sobs anC
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

daily limitations of the sailor and they
don't even wait to get intoxicated.
Whatever my neighbor does 1 want
to do-only more so.
If my neighbor saves up eight dol
lars and twenty cents and buys a red
benzine buggy 1 Immediately get to-
gether seven dollars and a quarter
and get q blue one. In the meantime
the automobile people put a white
chalk mark on our houses
II your wife buys a nearly-sealskin
my wife has to rush and get an almost
mink with possibly-ermine trimmings.
and the children I'LL up the holes In
their shoes with putty and exclaim,
"Oh. doesn't Mamma look sweet IN the
fur mackintosh!"
Vanity is a worm that eats the lin
ing out of pocketbook.
All of which is neither here nor
there, as the engineer said when the
train left the track.
So it's back to that shopping propo-
sition with friend wife
Our first port of call was the
Maison de Splash, where they trim a
piano cover with a lace curtain and
call 1t Creation"
1t certainly was @ gorgeous coy
corner. that place, The walls were
decorated in soft, harmonious shades
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

Hoops. my dear!" ! asfnined. aok
knowing what else to say.
lie Minaret," continued the friend
of Louis the Xl. lit would be to
Madame's beauty as the rose Is to a
lovely garden. yes."
He was there with the salve. that
old boy.
Hypnotized by the harmony of col
ors and carried away by the up-to-
dateness of the creation. Peaches
breathed in the ear of Voulezvous an
eager, ~How much?"
Three hundred and feefty dollaire,"
he breathed back to her.
Sinking for the second time. didn't
breathe at all
Then. with a forgiv1ng smile,
Peaches turned to me and said, Isn't
it lovely? Isn't it wonderful"
"She is" answered; shes a
quaint little package of pepper-that's
what she isl / thought 1 liked that
blonde, but it was only a passing fam
cy. This brunei has me Iimping after
her along the Road of Happiness Did
you pipe the smile she saved up for
me and me alone? She must burn
acetylene in both lamps, because I'm
all lit up with excitement A queen,
take it from an expert-a QueenI"
Exit LIE Minaret hurriedly, while
Voulezvous stood there expressing as
the small of his back.
Does Madame prefer something
else, yes?" he wigwaggeds after notlc-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

began to think hard Two hundred and
fifty dollars for a dish of raspberries
with cream colored trimmings-assist-
ance!
How do you like it?" Peaches
cooed
Lovely" I answered as one in
spired "Prettiest hair I've ever seen
And her eyes-blue mirrors of her
native Mediterranean! I've been lost
in admiration ever since she fioated
into the room Did you get that glad
gaze she handed out to me when
By this time the blonde Venus
wrapped up in the raspberry trim
mings was being led hurriedly away
from there by the bewildered grand
father of D'Artagnan, and IN the
short. sharp silence which followed
lightning flashed from the eyes of a
certain party and storm signals were
ordered up from the Capes to Bangor.
Enter trippingly. from Left End:
Mons. voulezvous, followed by Carts
sinca Maduro. walking a la SLOUGH.
ANc- we have it, yes," spluttered
the ancestor of D'Artagnan. turning
the manikin around and around for our
inspection. You see, lie Minaret. 1t
Is ravissant. incest pas. You. M'sieu.
should value your opinion of lie
Minaret. yes!-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

ing how high In the air Peaches was
wearing her chin
Yes,' l butted in quickly; bring
on something nifty In a transparent
skirt
Curtain
When / came to / was out ON the
sidewalk listening to Section VI, Par
agraph ~, of the Riot Act
Then she pointed her nose at the
North Star and left me fiat
Peaches will probably speak to me
again some time before Christmas.
She'll have to if she believes In Santa
Claus.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29
CAYi Did you ever take your life in
your right hand and go shopping
with YOUR wife?

your right hand and go shopping
with your wife?
tried it the other day and I've been
hearing voices ever since.
When 1 say shopping i don't mean
that simple everyday gag of bursting
suddenly in upon the sleepy floor
walker in a delicatessen parlor and
with languid elbows leaning over the
remnants of a once beautiful cheese
while he cruelty separates four kip
pered herring from the bosom of
large and loving family.
Nix-I mean Big League shopping
/ mean that kind of shopping that
women go in training for two weeks
in advance; high-class, expert shop
ping, where important money changes
hands; the kind of shopping that
wives look forward to with dreamy
eyes and live ever after on the memo
ries; the shopping that sweeps hus-
band off his feet and makes him long
to be a dusky-hued postmaster IN No
8 township, Samoan Islands, where
the fashion in fig leaves is permanent
and money is a myth
John" said Peaches, the other
morning, 81 want you to go to the
stores with me today. l have lot of
shopping to do and you can be such
help to me, because"
"Wait a minute, friend wife," /
broke in. What have l done that
you should wish such a calamity on
me? Tell me to go out and get for my
personal use an attack of inf1amma-
tory rheumatism and I'll do so; ask
me to try to catch a street car at the
corner of Broadway and Fifty-third
Street and I'll work hard at the job
up to the time a murderous taxicab
climbs my front elevation and mains
me for life-but don't, Oh. wife,
don't ask me to go shopping with
youi"
NONSENSE" she gurgled. Il can't
go alone, can 1? And, besides, you
must help me select two new gowns
at the Maison de Splash must have
at least two, mustn't 1? And from
there Wen go to Ginkstein and Boob
heimer's, where I want to get a hat
1 must have something chic to take
off in the theaters, mustn't I?-And
then we'll spend an hour in Gorgon-
Zola Brothers, where / can pick out
the set of furs you promised me for
Christmas, and then wen go to Cam
embert's for some gloves l need, and
then
Help! Throw me anything! Don't
you see I'm sinkingl
The answer is / went-and live to
prattle about it.
You know, this shopping gag brings
out more prominently than anything
else the fact that the high cost of liv-
ing is caused by living high at any
cost.
The ancient Greeks had a saying,
''He spends his money like drunken
sailor" and that goes for seventy-five
cut of a hundred today.
The majority of the boobs give
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29
He CouIdn,t Lose.

A lady IN Los Angeles decided
whether she would bring divorce pro-
ceedings or not by boiling an egg.
Some of the eggs were hard and some
soft II she drew a hard one she was
to sue IL her egg was soft she was
to remain unhappy and married. She
drew the hard egg Any husband who
was given an even break like that
with an egg and divorce ought 70 be
glad to abide py the consequences He
would win If ne iost-and ne did
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29
BABY LOVES HIS BATH
With cutieura Soap Because So Sooth.
Ing When His Skin 10 Hot.

These fragrant supercreamy emol-
Hents are a comfort to children. The
Soap to cleanse and purify, the Oint-
ment to soothe and heal rashes, itch
fngs, chafings, etc. Nothing more ef-
fective. May be used from the hour
of birth. with absolute confidence.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. KY.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

that time. He re-
piled that there
was but one lead
ing question at
that time, or at
any time, and that
was the question
of ones relation
to the Lord Jesus
Christ. He then
went on to say
that the brainiest
men were those
who paid most at
tention to this
subject. 81 have
known personally
all the men who
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29
cheerina Comment.

THAT infant of yours kept me
awake half the night" said the irri-
table neighbor.'
We'll, l congratulate you," replied
the weary father. That comes near
er being a kind word than anything
1 have heard today. Nobody else
owns up to getting half a nights
sleep"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

Society doesn't concern you much
here in Crimson Guich.' said the OBJ
servant visitor
What do you mean by society,"" in
quired Broncho Bob.
You haven't any tuft hunters
around here
Yes. we have A bunch of Injuns
got out their scalpin' knives an went
ON the war path only last week"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

In the War Zone.
$50 your uncle has gone to the war,
has hep"
Yes, sir"
And don't everybody miss him.
why, yes. they have so far. He
hasn't been wounded yet"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL You
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red. Weak. watery
Just I've comfort Write for f3ooS % ~ ssiI y.
BY mail Free Murine Eye Remedy CO.. Chicaco
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

strenuous in managing her silent part
ner.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

Wall paper originated in China in
the fourth century.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-05-29

Every woman's pride, beautiful, clear
white clothes. Use Red Cross Ball Blue
All grocers. Adv.