The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-10-08
Colonel Bunker
BY M. QUAD
Copyright. 1915. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

You have asked me, subj" began
Colonel Bunker, which was the stran-
gest duel l ever fought. OF the fifteen
or twenty 1 think that two might come
under the head Of strange.
.Maiah Blazer and l were friends
and neighbors and had been for years.
Not a word of discord had ever passed
between us. He had a cat and l had q
dog, and they were also friends.
Zone morning the majah came into
my Office and called out:
"'Colonel, tell your dawg that II he
will come over he may have a look at
them %..
".What is IT, majah?
"'Our old cat has Kittens
"'You don't say! How many OF
them?' m0 s.
".Just twenty-one, subj
"eYou counted them yourself. did
youy
".Colonel. do you question my state
ment?'
"'Not at all, major; but twenty-one
kittens in q litter is certainly a Won
derful thing
cit may be, sub. and-good morning,
suh!'
"And, sub, it wasn't an hour before
he sent a friend to me to arrange a
duel. l had seemed to doubt his verac-
ity, and he must clear his honah. I
agree with you that it was silly. but
men were mighty peppery In those
days. The majah's wife came and
begged that l refuse the challenge, but
at the same time she couldn't show
me how I could do it and maintain my
honah. l asked her the number of kit
tens and vas not at all surprised to
learn that the number was only four.
1.-The explanation was that the ma
jah's wife had been canning strawber-
ries, and in speaking of 1t. to him she
gave the number of the cans as twenty
one.
well, sub, the choice of weapons
lay with me, and l chose swords. 4
week before that while out for a walk
l crossed the dueling ground. and l OBJ
served that close by in a fence corner
was a bumblebees' nest We We're to
meet at sunrise, which is a very IN
comfortable hour, by the bye. and the
night before l had a confidential talk
with a colored brother.
'"The night passed, and the morning
came. l was first On the ground. and I
had time to see that the colored BROTH
er was up in the part he was to play. On
my word, the majah knew no mo about
sword play than q Laplander. I could
have had him out in one minute, but l
did not want that. I gave the colored
brother the nod. and he stirred up the
bees through the fence with a pole.
They came out of the grass by the hum
dred, and I { alone saw them in time to
get away.
"But the bees, subtitle bees! Those
men left behind were a sight to see
when the insects got through with
them. All Of them had to be led home,
and not one Of them got out Of the
house for a fortnight. AS for the ma
jah, when he could get out he came to
the Office to say:
dawg.'
"'What is it?'
livery kitten Is dead
"'Sho! That's too bad
".And the shelf fell down and broke
all the fruit jars H..
""Too bad, too bad
land you take notice, sub, we didn't
get the kittens and the Jars mixed
up.'"
At this juncture Colonel Bunker re-
marked that he would tell the story Of
another duel.
Captain Seaton was my good friend
and had been for years. One evening
as we sat on the veranda of his house,
smoking our pipes and saying little. he
carelessly observed:
".It's a wonder those grasshoppers
can keep that noise up the way they
do
"'You mean crickets. captain I cor
rected.
well. there we WERE" said the colo
nel-"there we were. 1t made no diff
ference whatever to either n of US
whether it was a cricket, q grasshopper
or an owl singing, but there are times
when the best of men are attacked by
what may be called a fool perversity.
We sulked for five minutes. and then
said:
"'Captain. the songs Of those crickets
are not SO unpleasant after ALL
"'You mean the songs Of those grass,
hoppers, suh,' he replied.
"'Crickets!' a
"'Grasshoppers!
"'Colonel Bunker. my friend will wait
on you and arranged rs
1.-THE sooner the better, sub!
"And within an hour his friend came.
ana a duel was arranged for sunrise.
"You may say we were a couple Of
IDIOTS. sub. but in those days a mans
honah was held to be a sacred thing. II
I was out walking with a gentleman
and remarked that there was q ring
around the moon and he replied thatfheN
couldn't see it, honah required that I
send him a challenge. N.
".And. sub. perhaps there was neither
noon nor ring showingl
sswo wore on tI1n fol6 and the Dis