davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Ambitious.

A dusky porter Of religious inclina.
lions was employed In . downtown
brokerage ONCE. His name was Sam.
One day he thought 1t was about
time he had had raise. 80 he pre-
scented himself to the boss, cleared
his throat, and began q little Grafton
he had prepared. Pardon me, sub.
for interruptin' you, sub, but I ind
that with this here high cost of living,
and endeavorin' to keep up my regular
church contributions. can't support
my family properly. Just got to
have more money, subj"
The great man grinned.
well. SAM" he said. II see your
trouble. and I'll give you that raise,
but remember. 1t IL far better TO give
than to receive"
Il knows that. boss" replied Sam,
but likes to get on that reception
committee mahself once In q while. =
New York Evening Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
KILL OUT CANADA THISTLES
Most Practical Way Of Getting Rid
Of Patch Is to Cut Of All Leaves
Below Surface.

In response to a query as to the
best way of getting rid Of patch Of
Canada thistles the Wallace's Farmer
makes the following reply:
Anything which keeps Canada this.
tie leaves from getting to the sun.
light for two or three months during
the growing season will give them q
severe setback, and In some cases
kill them. Putting heavy coating OF
straw on the patch has in some cases
proved successful. but in other cases
the straw has become disarranged
and the thistles have grown up
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Made Him Cautious,

A lawyer tells the following story
concern ng a client, something of a
wag In his way. with whom he had
long Ike 1t an account. When the lat.
ter was finally made up the bill, most
ly for trifiins services. covered several
yards OF foolscap. as the items emu
merateo the most minute details.
When the client came round to set
tie he refused to enter the Office. but
stood ir the dor, and, holding one end
OF the pill, unrolled the voluminous
document in the direction of his legal
adviser, with the request that he
would receipt It.
Come In" said the lawyer. In his
most cordial tones.
mo. thank YOU" replied his client;
you'd charge me rent II did"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
He WAS HUNGRY, POOR BOY
Now, Mothers, Do You Think He
Deserved Being Called Cousin
to an Anaconda?

Nov see here, Percy" said Mrs..
Packer to her son Of a dozen sum-
mers, when I went out this after
noon l left seven large doughnuts in
the pantry, and now there are only
three. What do you know about
that?"
We'll. fellow is always hungry
when he comes home from school.
and"
II also left half of a good-sized
chocolate cake and dozen cookies in
the cake box. Now there are only six
cookies and about third of the cake
left. Do you know anything about
that?"
well, fellow wants something to
eat when he has been pegging away
in school all afternoon, doesn't he?"
II also left eight cranberry tarts
and large mince pie In the pantry.
Now there are five of the tarts and a
good quarter of the pie is gone. Have
you anything to say about that?"
well. l was hungry when I got
home from school, and L"
Il had Jane make a nice dessert Of
lady-fingers and whipped cream for
dinner tonight, and about fourth of
1t is gone, together with a lot of the
white meat Of a chicken I had saved
for a salad. or course. you don't
know anything about that?"
There's plenty Of the stuff left for
dessert, and there wasn't hardly any
of the chicken anyhow"
But there was lot Of honey left
when l went away this afternoon, and
IL isn't here now, and half of the cof-
fee cake l was saving for breakfast
is gone, and someone has opened that
jar of orange marmalade was saving
for company. Have you anything to
say about that?"
We'll, tell you was hungry, and
| wanted little something to eat, and
SO L"
"And so you opened that glass of
extra choice currant jam and ate up
nearly whole package of those little
afternoon teas, and drank half pint
of cream, and most of the pound of
raisins and all the nuts l left here at
noon are gone. Hungry? My soul
and body! Percy Packer, are you
first cousin to an anaconda? Hungry?
/ should say SO! honestly believe
that you are hollow clear into the
ground!"-Puck.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04

through 1t. Really, the most practical
way Of getting rid of a small patch OF
Canada thistles is to go over 1t every
week and cut of all leaves below the
surface Of the ground. II conscien.
tious job Of this is done for the sum
mer, the thistles will not bother much
the next year. although 1t is best to
keep an eye open for them and cut
them off regularly. A careful job
must be done, for IL the leaves are
allowed to grow very long in the sun.
shine enough energy will be stored w
in the roots to hold the pest over for
a considerable length Of time.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
USES PECULIAR TOOLS
PtlLAr ELPHlA DENTIST ALSO
HIS UNIQUE PRACTICE.
Called Upon to Alleviate Panss Of
Tooth ,che Among Denlzens Of the
~zoo," He 10 Not Envled by
Mo Profession.

Tom Manley, dentist. Office, Philar
delphia Zoo. Teeth extracted from ele-
plants. CRATES and boa constructors;
rhinocsl Do horns removed; wild hog
tusks q led"
This ard is inserted without charge.
says thu North American. In the first
place. anley holds no degree Of doc
tor of d. ntal surgery, so the zoo is vio-
lating o professional ethics In dis
closing his methods. In the second
place, he will probably get no trade
boost ON his advertisement. One
peep In his Office and laboratory.
where forceps are two feet long and
a. wicl cd looking as guillotine.
would he sufficient to brighten away
the bigs est bravest iron-jawed patient
In Chris tendon.
No 81 lny looking knives and drills
In Manlsy's kit. When he tackles an
aching Tooth he arms himself with a
saw, chisel, hammer and plenty
OF rope. You have to see the two-foot
forceps % understand the meaning Of
the rop,. You have to see Manley.
who Isl really q dentist, but head
keeper Il the zoo, at work on a three
pound 10Th to understand the mean.
ing of yerything.
The ether day the zoos big boa
constric or got the toothache Manley
decided the tooth would have to come
out. One Of his assistants threw Q
hood over the snakes head, and ten
hen POI need on the reptiles body.
The g boa squirmed and wriggled
It's tong he shot out and in like light.
ming an the snake Kissed and spat
The ass istants frightened their grip.
and Ma Hey entered the snake cage.
his hanos covered with pair of thick
leather gloves. Manley had no way
of know ing which tooth ached, and he
intended to take no chances. So he
took ong piece of steel and began
tapping all the teeth in the snakes
mouth.
II did 1T take long to find the sensi
tive toe h. Manley placed piece Of
burlap rag over the tooth and gave
the bag a long pull. The tooth came
out and another one with 1t.
After the snake was placed back in
its glass cage Marley. well satisfied
with hi work, told about some other
big ope rations he had performed.
Some time ago a hippopotamus
broke TOOTH" he said. "and we de-
-cided to take out the piece that re-
NAMED in the animals mouth. We
threw the big ropes about the hippo
and dra sged 1t to the bars of the cage
There We pried open the animals
mouth end went to work with q pair
Of our long forceps. like you see thers
on the wall.
"Thoss forceps are strong enough to
pull a railroad spike. but we had to
take thu ee grips on that tooth before
we could remove it. The piece
weighed three pounds. That big hip
po was 30 alfred mad when we had
the tooth out, that he charged again
and aga n against the cage bars with
such foi ce that several of them were
loosenet and bent.
Come out some time and watch us
tackle & giraffe with a ladder. It's
like flgb ing third-story fire."
How do you handle an alligator"
he was asked.
"Excu Sc me-" said Manley. That's
one animal don't care to try"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
How Queen Rules King Emmanuel.

The queen Of Italy. discussing smok.
Ing with Queen Mary of Great Britain.
remarked vivaciously: II can overlook
many faults in man, and make many
allowances for his shortcomings.
"One fault in man, however, l can
never forgive, and that is-his not
smoking. Whenever King Emmanuel
seems annoyed l give him his pipe;
when he is good-tempered get him a
cigarette; when want him to do
something very particular I offer him
Q cigar.
With a pipe can console him;
with a cigarette / can delight him;
but with a cigar l can lead him any
how and anywhere"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04

1t was Sunday afternoon and Ma.
bets little sister, Ruth, aged four
was seated beside Mabel on the sofa
Presently the little girl asked Of Ma
BETS fiance: Aren't your sweet
heart. Mr.. Bumperf"
WELL" answered Mr.. Bumper with
. fond glance at Mabel. you're the
Hsgt thing 10 ft"-Puek
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Unappreclated.

See. John" said Mrs. Slathers. with
a happy smile. II have taught the
canary every time come near him
to stick out his little bill to be
kissed"
'Humph!" said Slathers. eyeins
the bird critically. Seems to me you
spend your time teaching creatures
how to present their bills for my at
tention--I got one from your milliner
this morning. not to mention a dozen
or two others in the same mall
Harper's Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Care of Swine.

Two things which should be avoid
ed with swine in cold weather are
first, do not let them sleep in or upon
heating manure. because they become
warm and then rush into the cold air
frequently contracting colds. coughs
or severe pulmonary diseases thai
are sometimes fatal; second, bee
them well IN dry quarters whers
there L. no draft of air blowing afGoss
them.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Mluht BE n Wsv.

Miss Ancient Wantiman (suddensy
awakening)-I see you have my pooh,
etbook; but there's very little money
In that compared with what have in
the bank.
Burglar (grufiy)-Well. there amt
no way to GIT that!
Miss Ancient Wantiman-H'm! Are
yoa Q single anEpuck.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Marking Time.

"You prefer parades to speeches In
impressing your views?"
Yes. It's much more interesting to
see how long it takes procession to
pass some point than to see how long
Il takes q speech to do the same
hing"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
What Dolly Lacked.

One cay small Alice was playing
with her dolly Stopping suddenly. abe
looked ut her lovingly and said: Dol
". you II just awfully beautiful but
you amt rot bit Of sense
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-03-04
Added Ia the Iannuane.

Mamma" said little Edna one day,
I'm getting tired of this pug nose. It's
getting pugger and pusgeT every day
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
p As SIM ndiaa 0vA"d~ BALL.

exceedingly sinister in its indications.
When 1t comes on the twenty-fourth
the signs presage variable weather,
earthquake shocks and land troubles,
especially in California. This year
storms may be unusually destructive
and floods may occur in the Eastern
States
Ireland has a sinister omen, which
may mean dissensions among leaders
of thought, trouble with political con-
ditions and spreading discomfort.
A winter of extraordinary occur
rences is prognosticated and women
of every class are counseled to pre-
pare for unusual duties.
Many deaths among persons OF
prominence are again foreshadowed.
A woman foremost in public work
will succumb TO overwork.
Persons whose birthdate 1t is should
avoid new adventures in the coming
year, which will bring many ankle
ties
Children born on this day may
have many ups and downs. These
subjects of Virgo usually have Libra
traits, since they are on the cusp.
They should be affectionate, generous
and ambitious.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
A SONS VISION
Continued from Saturday,
BY HARRY BERLIN.


Brandy returned with the money in
his bosom.
The robber motioned to Jack to
follow him and so he did. They soon
came to a lonely place, where Brandy
was going to divide up the money.
or course Jim took the lions share
OF their profits, but Jack did not want
to argue with him, as he knew bank
robbers are dangerous. OF course his
mother did not suspect anything, as
she thought he was looking for work.
That night they went to sleep in
an old deserted cabin, Brandy soon
fell to snoring loudly, but Jack could
not fall asleep. He thought of his
mother, how she had always told him
not to take anything which did not
belong to him. and her vision rose in
his eyes. He did not have a bit of
rest that night because he thought
Of the terrible crime he had allowed
to be committed and resolved to give
Brandy the money back and tell the
detectives the whole story.
The next morning when Jim got up
Jack gave him the money, which he
gladly accepted and, of course, he
took a bottle of whiskey and began
TO drink. He offered some to Jack,
and as Jack refused it, he emptied
out the contents of the bottle, and be-
came so drunk that he soon fell
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
VOL. H., NO. 22O.
MANTTOU
BY HOWARD FALK.
CONTINUED from Saturday,

Whereas the cliff people have
metal pottery, 1t may be surmised
that they have q knowledge of iron
or any other metal moulding. -
Professor Starn, Princeton Univer-
sity.
Father" said Jack, II have been
thinking of uncle and for some rea-
son or other I am uneasy"
mo wonder, lad" cried his father
in horror, IT have lost our way"
All three stared blankly at one
another and the truth dawned on
them An awful death to die here in
mountain where never a human
foot was set in for fourteen or fifteen
centuries.
Never mind" said Jack, we are
not going to -" He stopped his
conversation as abruptly as he had
started it and gaRed down the pas
sageway. The others followed his
gaze.
There, down the passage, was a
heap of about twenty human skulls.
They gazed in horror at them. Was
that to be their end also?
Suddenly a long, shrill, piercing
shrek sounded wildly through the
cavern. The three jumped in fright.
What did this new menace mean!
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20

to pull the trigger when she burst
out laughing at him. She says he
was so remorseful and polite that he
proposed to her by way of an amende
honorable. He's now Sir Peter Royce,
Bart. M. P, thanks to old Kenway's
gold.
Still on board SIS. Mikado,
In sight of land. December IL, 19-.
lust a. word to close before we go
ashore. Rozzie has asked me to join
their party when we land. She says
she's wild to see all the temples. She
has also asked the Madonna, and
have accepted for the latter's sake.
You see she really takes an intelligent
interest in Eastern architecture, but
could not very we'll have gone about
studying it under my guidance unless
there'd been others with us. So Roz-
zie's project seems highly opportune.
IL YOU find it really necessary to
write to me for advice or assistance of
any sort, my address until February
will be, as at present, care Yamanaka
q Co. Toxic. After February l write
70 Bombay, care Hongkong and
Shanghai Bank, and after the first of
March care Credit Lyonnais, Con-
stantinople. But 1 shall probably not
go so far West. shall probably
3about face" long before that, and
return to America again via Pacific.
Yours, KENNETH.
CTelegram)
Granada, January "a, 19-.
Beware madonna. Cultivate little
devil. ..
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
Bot ed NO1t fes #s Ned MADE "
By Wellington

asleep. Then Jack saw that now was
his chance to betray that old thief in
the hands of the detectives. He
quickly ran to the police head
quarters and when he mentioned the
name Of Jim Brandy, the judge near
ly jumped from his seat, because he
knew him so we'll for his robberies.
The Judge quickly sent over the
place where Brandy was sleeping.
After trial Brandy was sentenced
to go to Sing Sing for lifetime.
Tnen Jack told his story to the
Judge that the latter excused him
because he had given back the money
and thought over the wrong he had
done. Then later Jack received re-
ward for the capture of Brandy.
Years passed and Jack became a
president of the bank which he had
been discharged from and now lives
happily with his mother.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
EVENING STAR
ASTROLOGER
Copyright, 1850
"The stars incline but do not compel
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 1918.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER Fl, 1915.
Astrology finds this rather an un-
favorable day, for, while Mercury is
in benefic aspect early In the morn
ing, the planet changes later and
both Mars and Saturn are adverse.
1t is a time to conduct all affairs
with conservative judgment What
ever concerns newspapers is subject
to variable influences and unexpected
conditions may arise.
Mars gives a forecast of activity
in military affairs. In certain West
ern States the National Guard will
be called out, 1t is prophesied.
Mexico has a sign believed to fore
cast better conditions, but the United
States will be concerned In its af-
fairs.
Again Arizona has the prognostica-
ton Of much excitement and its chief
towns will benefit.
Unrest and discomfort will increase
among workers as the days become
shorter, the seers declare. Much sur
fering among strikers is prognosti-
Gated.
Saturn gives indication of much de-
preston among persons OF all classes
Cheerfulness should be cultivated.
While this confguration prevails,
removals and journeys are not likely
to be successful. Delays. hindrances
and disappointments are supposed to
multiply.
The autumnal equinox this year Is
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
Junior Gpenin9 Stat,
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1915.

But, although they did not know 1t.
this was not a menace, but a great
JOY to come.
Controlling himself with a mighty
effort Prof Starn said:
Boys, hold your rifles In readl-
ness, that cry was one Of a mountain
lion"
Cautiously they advanced and en-
tered another big passageway. At
the end Of It stood a man in the
garb of an Indian.
who are you?' he faltered in
frightened but fine English tones.
"The Starn Science Explora-
ton"
The reply was cut short by a wild
cry from the man and ne rushed
straight into his brothers arms. 1t
was Prof. Starn, the scientis.-magi-
clan.
The brothers were locked in each
others arms sobbing. Suddenly the
magician Strengthened up.
81 must go now, brother said he,
'for / am captive and you cannot
rescue me this way or we will have
the whole tribe about our ears The
magician then told how he was 60
ing to give the Indians a show that
night and Wallace said
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
Substitute for LinoIeum

Any old carpet may be used. First
mend all rents or very thin spots;
then tack carefully to the floor. Make
a cooked starch of wheat -four and
apply to the carpet with brush or
broom; let dry, then apply two coats
of paint. II painted once or twice
each year it will last a lifetime. If
Brussels carpet is used, paint on the
wrong side.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
(THE END9
Europe Hasn't Got All H.!

1t is announced from Columbus,
O., that the Sunday law will be en-
forced in Cincinnati as well as else
where Such action by the State au-
thorities will convince Cincinnssi
that the foundations of liberty have
crumbled and the roof of civilizatiea
blown entirely off.-Houston Post.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
(To be Continued.)
The Wise Fool

"There is nothing in q name,
quoted the Sage.
That's right" agreed the Fool.
"Limburger by any other name
would smell as strong
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
(To be continued.)
Bow, Page Doc Cook!

Rear Admiral Robert e. Peary, reA
tired, has offered MIS- services to the
Navy Department = thinking, per-
haps, that the country wants some
more poles found. Boston Globe.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
Be Good for What Ais Him

Since Berlin has justified the at
tack on the Arabic, the health of Won
Tirpitz may be expected to show q
marked change for the better
washington Post.
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-09-20
The Young

"They say the good die young"
Maybe so, but not when they're
jokeay said the grabbed editor.
New Britain herald., 1915-02-06
TO CON FER WITH ALLIES.

Genoa Italy Feb. 6, via Rome 9:25 a. m.-Riciotti Garbaldi, son of the Italian liherator, who has lost two sons on the French side in the pres ent war. passed through here today on his way to Paris and London to consult with the French and British auth critics in the matter of tn e stand ing of Italian volunteers in the armies of the allies. In Paris Gen. Garibaldi will confer with Minister of War Mill lerand while in London he will see War Secretary Kitchener. He is ac- companied by his wife.
New Britain herald., 1915-02-06
MASSES FOR CUSTOMERS.
Provided for in Will 0f Stamford
 Woman

Stamford, Feb. 6.-Among the be- quests contained in the will of Mrs. Bridget Raymond, filed for probate here yesterday, was one of s100 to the priests of St. Joseph's Roman Catho- lie church in Norwalll for masses for the benefit "of all my customers" " Mrs. Raymond and her husband con- ducted d truck farm in Darien, near Norwalk and most of her customers were otestants.
 She was a communicant of the Roman Catholic church. Small be- quests are also made to the Edith Home, Belle Isle, at Norwalk and for other charitable purposes. and $500 to the Noroton Catholic church. The estate amounts to about $15, 5,000.
New Britain herald., 1915-02-06
PLTNGES THROUGH WINDOW.
Insane Man Attempts to Escape From
 Train.

Middletown, Conn, Feb. 6.-While being brought to the state insane asylum here from New Haven on the Air Line train yesterday, Rocco Bar nardo struck Officer John Gillgan of New Haven on the head with his handcuffs and then plunged through q window in an endeavor to make his escape. The officer, although stunned by the blow. managed to grab Bar nado by the heels and hold him. The train was stopped, just outside of Cedar Hill, and Rarnardo was pulled hack into the car. He fought des- pcratcly and the services of several men were needed to hold him down.
 Upon arrival here Barnardo was taken to the asylum without further incident