The Press., 1915-05-12
RETELL|NC A JOKE
It Seemed Easy, but the Attempt
 Was a Costly Failure.
so THE VICTIM TRIED AGAIN.

 After He Studied the Thing Over to See Where and How He Had Made His BIunder He Sprang 1t Anew, Only to Receive Staggering Jolt. Richard Smith and John Jones were great friends. They were alike in many respects, but there was this diff ference between them-that Smith was an ardent churchman and was inclined to take things seriously, while Jones did not go to church very often and was inclined to take everything more lightly.
 One day these two friends happened to be strolling along together, when the conversation drifted around to this diff ference between them. Smith had been telling Jones that his course was all wrong and that he ought to change his views and go to church, giving his reasons therefor. To this Jones listen ed attentively and seemed much i'm pressed.
 "Your argument seems very logical" said Jones when Smith had paused, 'but," with twinkle in his eye, there's one point you did not men, tion which has just occurred to me and on which I should like little en- lightenment."
 'What is it?' said Smith. "I'll be very glad to explain it if I can.'' iS nv does it happen that man may be a church member and heathen at the same time?'
 "I don't understand you," said Smith. ''How can q man be a church member and heathen at the same time? You are joking You know he can't"
 "But say he can. Take yourself, for example. I will emphatically assert that I can prove in eight words that you are heathen, and, furthermore, can convince you of it."
 q know you can't do anything of the sort You are trying to put up bluff. And to make you back down I will agree to this-if you can prove either in eight words or in eight hun dred that I am a heather to my satis- faction I will give you pair of gloves, but if you do not prove it you must give me a pair. l hate to take the gloves on such an easy proposition, but it will teach you a lesson
 "All right It's go,'' said Jones.
 Smith looked surprised. He really "Well, how dc you intend to prove that am heathen?"
 "Are you woman?
 "No"
 "You must be he, then"
 Smith looked stupetied for an in- stant Then he laughed: "Ha, ha, ha! That was a clever. one. You have won the gloves all right and have proved your contention to my satisfaction. But I will get it off on some one else. An, there is Roy Green! I will spring It on him.
 So they joined Green, who, like Smith, was churchman. Smith plunged immediately into the subject.
 "Jones has just proved to me that man can be churchman and yet be heathen."
 "What absurd nonsensew said Green. ''It cannot be proved. Of course a heathen may attend church, but it can't be proved that all churchmen are heathen."
 q thought so a few minutes ago myself" said Smith excitedly. "And so sure am I of this that I will agree to give you a pair of gloves if cannot prove to your satisfaction in eight words that they are heathen, but if do you are to give me pair.''
 "Donev said Green. "It will be al- most like robbing you. But if you are willing am.'
 "All right" said Smith.
 Proceed to prove it," said Green.
 "The men aren't women," said Smith.
 ''No," said Green.
 '"Then they are hes. Ha, hap
 "But that does not prove them hea- then"
 Smith looked dazed. q guess made a mistake"
 Green chuckled. q guess you did. Fork over those glovesv'
 And Smith had to buy two pairs.
 Smith went home chagrined, think ing where he had made his mistake. By and by it came to him. It would go better to prove that he was a hea- then as Jones had proved it to him in that way He would get back those gloves yet!
 The next day he met Brown. 'Now is my opportunity he thought, and accosted Brown.
 Brown he said, "I heard a clever one the other day, and that is how a man can be churchman and hea- then at the same time. You know that I am churchman. But did you know that can prove that am heathen?'