davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
NO DANGER

From the Chicago Herald.
 A burly man, the picture of perfect health and strength, walked into the of flee of a prominent accident insurance company the other day and wanted to be insured.
 Are you engaged in any hazardous business?" asked the secretary.
 Not in the least,' replied the appli- cant
 Does your business make 1t necessary for you to be without sleep at night?'
 ''No, sir.''
 "Would your business ever require you to be where there were excited crowds for instance, at riot or fire?"
 Never sir
 "Is your business such as to render you liable to injury from carriages or runaway horses?''
 "Oh, no, sir"
 Does your business throw you in con- tact with the criminal class?"
 Good gracious! No. sir
 q think you are eligible. What is your business?"
 T am a policeman"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
PERFECTLY ETHICAL

From Tit-Bits
 The Irish secretary, Augustine Birrell, in his early days at the bar often had to deal with poor clients. On one occasion he defended very poor man, and offered to do so for nothing. MT. Birrell won the case and the client was so grateful that he sent the lawyer 15 shillings. MT. Bir- rell accepted the small sum so as not to hurt the mans feelings; but later on he was reproached by a fellow lawyer for doing so.
 why" said the latter gentleman did you take 15 shillings? Don't you know that it is unprofessional conduct for us lawyers to take less than gold?'
 Well" answered MT. Birrell, with a twinkle in his eye, "I took all the pooi beggar had. You don't consider that is unprofessonal, do your"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
Among the Farmers

q have spent a good part of my time of late in Tennessee and have been in terested in the fact that a large acreage in wheat is being sown," said D. M. Dick son, the well known fertilizer man. Tennessee has always been an impor- tant wheat state, but next years pro- duction will be larger than usual.
 "In northern Alabama, where crop d. versification has long been practiced, the farmers are in particularly fine condition. They have had gerat success with their food crops, and as for their cotton. the high prices they are getting makes them very buoyant. When I was in Gadsden recently, cotton was selling there for 1Sc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
A Great Hungarian violinist

"Ferencz Hegedus, the Hungarian vio- linist, in the United States this season Tor his first American tour, has been ac- claimed by the foremost critics of Ger many as one of the most remarkable in terpreters of Beethoven before the public today" said A. Strakosch of New York. Just as the works of Chopin have been tiresomely over-sentimentalized, so has Beethoven been interpreted in too se- were manner.
 Both in New York and on tour, Hege- dus will offer at various times special programme of the less known of the col lection of 10 Beethoven sonatas for violin and piano. This will give violin lovers a chance to hear other than the much played Kreutzer and minor sonatas, and an opportunity to familiarize them selves with these masterpieces.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
HOTEL LOBRIEs
What He Learned of The Ase-Herald

Tn my short stay in Birmingham have learned that The Age-Herald is the one paper here whose opinions are re- spected." said MT. Rixey, of St. Paul, Minn. ..It is one of the best newspapers have ever read, and it's opinion appar- ently carries weight in this district. l observe that other newspapers here claim large circuations. I don't know what The Age-Herald claims for its circulation. but have yet to find man or woman in this city who does not read the paper.
 This is my first visit to Birmingham. but have heard wonderful stories about the city, and I find they were not in the least exaggerated. I can see no reason why Birmingham should not be one Of the greatest cities in the United States.
 While I understand that the demo- cratic party is the only one that has any strength in Alabama, have observed that their elections are not by any means love feasts.' The present city commits sioner race appears to be warming up This fellow Barber seems to have strong following among the rank and file of the people,"
 MT. Rixey is an attorney of St. Pau. and is in Birmingham on business mat ters
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
PASSING THE PLUMBER

Fl cm the Louisville Courier-Journal.
 Talcott Williams of the school of jour nalism at Columbia university. regrets that while examinations for eligibility are required for those who would be plumbers none is required of the man who would be a journalist. Oh. all they ask of the plumber is whether he is willing to charge with sufficient spirit to make the light brigade seem spiritless by com parisOn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
MIDNIGHT SUN AT KARUNGI

Samuel G. Blythe in the Saturday Evening
 Post.
 I was glad I stopped at Karungi Swe- den, for saw the midnight sun-the al- most midnight sun, to be exact, for al- though it was monday bright all night. the sun did make bluff at setting. It went down at 20 minutes to 12 and rose 20 minutes after F.
 In the hurry of rebuilding the Grand hotel and of furnishing it for the large numbers of others who, like myself, who found no reservations for then-I won- der if those ticket men in Pefrograd own an interest in those hotels in Karungi- no window shades or curtains had been provided, and as I had a room with win days facing both the setting and the ris- ing points. sleeping was rather out of the question. The room was flooded with light all night.
 There is a river behind the hotel. It wasn't full to the bank and it resem- bled a lake more than a river. The sun went down blood red and the sky was crimsoned almost to the zenith. It seemed as if all the north were on fire The river burned in the glow and the sky took on tints that ranged from car dinal to pink. Just as the whole place seemed about to burst into flame, the sun dropped out of sight. and the glaring reds began to mellow into softer shades, the river lost it's glow of fire and the sky dulled and dimmed until 1t looked like a great inverted dome that had been white hot and was cooling slowly.
 There were no other shades than the shades of fire. None of the usual maroons and cerises and garnets that come as the aftermath of mountain sunsets. Every redly, and the trees and the grass were rubescent. All this softened gradually into glowing one-toned mass of color Then, at 20 minutes past F, at a point that seemed not more than half mile along the horizon from the place where the sun disappeared, there came golden glory that spread evenly over the red- 'dened sky. The sun was rising and soon was above the horizon. It went down red as fire. It came up bright, glittering, gleaming, as if during the 40 minutes it had been below the horizon, some titanic hand had polished 1t for another days use.
 I asked in Stockholm and in Christiania:
 When do you sleep?"
 "In the winter" they said. "Then the nights are so long there is nothing else to do."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
Unto the Strong
verdancy

To the really great, physical defects are of small hindrance. They rise above their difficulties with dignity that is grand and a simplicity which detects humor in a situation which would otherwise embarrass.
 A short while ago Thomas Edison, almost totally deaf, presided at the meetings of the new naval consulting board. He presided ably, without hesi- tation or embarrassment and seemed to understand every word that was spoken. Other members of the board were puzzled, including Secretary of the Navy Daniels. Speculation was rife as to what kind of a new inven- tion Edison had perfected that enabled him to hear.
 After enjoying their bewilderment for a time Edison explained, and the explanation was singularly simple. He had his chief engineer, Hutchinson sit close beside him. Hutchinson, un- der cover of the table, tapped on Edi- sons knee everything that was being said. It is also said that Edison anc his assistant worked the code witf their eyelids.
 To the the smaller calibre man the almost total loss of hearing is an over whelming handicap, but to man whe ;s an overmastering genius or even te
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
ONE ON THE WATER WAGON

From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
 The alfalfa delegate was paying his first visit to a city of any size. Standing along the sidewalk he chanced to see a sprinkling cart coming down the street, and no sooner had he set eyes on the thing than he began to laugh like the boy at a minstrel show.
 "Say, old pal,'' he remarked hilariously, punching cop in the ribs, don't that just beat all?"
 Don't what beat all?" responded the wondering cop. What's the joke?'
 ''Just look at that feller on that wag- on!' replied the alfalfa party, pointing to the sprinkler. That derned chumr won't have a drop of water left by the time he gets home"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
Prosperity at Gadsden

Business in and around Gadsden IS highly prosperous" said Capt. w. P. Lay who spent yesterday in Birmingham. "As we have a great variety of interests In the Gadsden district, the depression or last fall was less acutely felt there than in many other sections of the state. And today, with the unusual activity in the iron and steel trade, and with cotton bringing high prices, Gadsden is won derfully busy center and values are en- hancing steadily
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
A wANDERER

Clinton Scollard, in the New York Sul Down the paths of dusk he glides
 Up the paths of dawn; Like dream within a dream . Comes, and then is gone. Just quiver of the leaves,
 Shiver of the grass None with mortal visi6ned eyes
 Sees him pause or pass. Murmur in the heart of day.
 Whisper in the night! = Naught is more elusive than
 His evasive flight. Follow? Nay, you may not trace!
 Seek? You may not find. Ghost of vanished yesterdays
 Is the autumn wind!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
Profitable Pig Farm

'There is much profit in pig farming, said w. l.. Sims of Eden, little station on the Southern railway, 33 miles from Birmingham.
 My father has 80 acres and we make a speciality of breeding fine pigs. We get s1O a piece for them and that price pays well, of course. We have every reason, therefore, to be greatly satisfied with our yeuture.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

Dr. Adoph Eichhord. chief of the di- vision of pathology in the bureau of an- imal industry. department of agriculture, says that anthrax is more or less well knoNr. among human beings and is common in the south, particularly among negroes. The disease originates in cattle, sheep, horses or hogs and is transmitted U human beings in various ways. The division of pathology has been working on serum to counteract anthrax for sev- eral months. The announcement was had been found. which Is both a preven- tive and a curative. serum has been used in Europe for some years, but 1t is chiefly a preventive. The remedy per- fected by Dr. Eichhorn and his associates is prepared by injecting into a horse small doses of anthrax bacilli, weakened by high temperatures. The doses are administered four times at intervals of several days, toward the last the horse receiving small quantities of virulent ba- cili. The dose is increased until the horse can withstand large injections and the serum is then prepared from the an- imal's blood. Anthrax bacill pr. Eich- horn says, survive In full virulence for 9 years being the most persistent and resistant of all bacilli.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

the merely strong-souled man, such a misfortune may hinder but not pre- vent life of usefulness and service.
 Thus another proof is added that person possessed of determination and stick-at-ive-ness can convert every ob- stacle into means of strength.
 For such in modern vernacular, Every kick is a boost.v
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
ALABAMA PRESS

Gadsden Journal: It Is estimated that s13,0O0,000 of that half billion loan to the allies will come to Alabama. Thirteen cent cotton and s1s,ooo,ooo new capital how unlucky.
 Talladega Home: No, William. it is not proper to say a person Forded, Buicked, Cadillacked, Maxwelled, or Doged from Anniston to Birmingham. However, there are instances on record where the return trip might be so described.-Anniston Star. But Birmingham is now dry.
 Gadsden Times-News Governor Hen derson seems to be making staunch friends of former enemies.
 Selma Times: Pensacola declares she has no objection to being the oasis in the desert that keeps on widening around her.
 West Alabama Breeze: Billy Sunday says: Hit the saw-dust trail' Al Jen- nings says Beat back Holy Writ says: Return unto our God" "who hath ears to hear, let him heara
 Dothan Eagle: Kindly refrain from damming that stream of gold that is to flow into the south in consequence of the Anglo French half billion dollar war loan.
 Roanoke Leader: In our opinion, the governor cut down some real good legis- lative sprouts when he yielded his hatch ct so freely after the legislature ad- journed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
prominent .Merchnnt,s Enthusiasm

'Ts business improving? Why, my trade is three times better than it was at the same period last year." said l.. Pizitz. 'When industrial pay rolls began early in the summer to increase, we knew that in time the entire mercantile trade would benefit. Well, since September my busi- ness has been simply splendid. Never has it been so satisfactory. And it will be in- crea sing right along. never felt so en- thusastic over business conditions as l do now.
 Business in Birmingham will be more active this winter than at any time in the history of this mineral district. All for mer records will be easily broken.
 q am glad to see that the fair has been a pronounced success. It is a great fair and it has brought us immense crowds of visitors"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
A HARD JOB

From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
 Show girl twice divorced planes mcther-in-law.' What assignment could present so difficult a task as being perfectly satisfactory mother-in-law to a show girl?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
A REAL PROBLEM

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Students at a. New Jersey law school are given this problem: When a baseball is in the air between the pitcher and the batter, who owns it?'' Nobody cares much about that but if it was the pitcher that was in the air the question becomes of in terest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
A SHADE OFF

From the Houston Post.
 Of course, we recognize the danger of the south becoming arrogant and proud if cotton should attain the Tom Heflin prophecy of. 20 cents. Possibly it would be better for our religion for it to stop at 1884 cents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
--sos---------------- THE OLD GUARD

From the Houston Post.
 Will N. Harben thinks the movies, au- tonobiles and. aeroplanes will finally ruin literature. Not as long as literature can command the services of Jess Willard. Rube Marauard, Christy Mathewson, Ty Cobb and Col. Jacob Ruppert.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
THE WORST EVER

From the Cleveland. Plain Dealer.
 New York man got divorce charging that his wife was "a movie inebriate." It must be hard for lady to get over Charlie Chaplin jag.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

The name of President Wilson's best man has not been announced. If the President decides to have one, who would ba the more logical person for this honor than Assistant President House?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
4ruE HOMER OF THE INsEcrs'

From the New York World.
 Jean-Henri Fabre was an ornament to a nation where poets write like scientists poets.
 Personality. powers akin to reason scruples and perversities strangely hunl- an rabre found in insect life. He showed how the mother beetle stores fooo so deftly that the choicest morsei lies nearest the hungry young larva. He de- scribed the courtesy of the Osmia bee' ready to emerge but waiting in her CO., coon SO as not to disturb a backward sisters preparations. That "unspeakabie hypocrite," the praying nantis. ambushed for it's prey in an attitude Of devotion, is compared to "human animals" wno cannot match its "Grotesaue horror" The gift of interesting the reader is in every line.
 M. MaetcrlinclS's wonderful bravura on .srhe Bee is probably better known in America than Fabre's studies upon which if was founded. It is one of fate's ironies that this gentle old peasant turned phi |losopher, known for 50 years to men of science should have waited for his wid- est appreciation until at Ss he was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

BEGINNING THE DAY-O God of the harvest, help me to plant and tend and wait on Thee for the i'm crease. If in Thy providence Thou givest much, it is all Thine own. If in Thy providence Thou giyest little, it is still Thine. Grant me to reap in joy, for Thou dOcst well. In Christ.s name. Amcn.-H. NJ. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
THEY PROBABLY WON'T

From the Dallas News.
 Furthermore, if the Greeks decide to get mad at the French for passing through their territory on the way to Servia, the French may have to tear up their round-trip tickets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
PROTEST WILSON WEDDING
-om the Kansas City Times.

From the Kansas City Times.
 Cape Girardeau women are protesting that President Wilson is setting a bad ex- ample by announcing his engagement so soon after the death of his first wife. Just for that they probably will not be in vited to the wedding.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
NEXT IN ORDER

From the New York World.
 With the submarine question out of the way, Great Britain is now due for a stiff dose of Wilson diplomacy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
SHE WILL NOT

From the Pittsburg Sun
 Vassar college will be 50 years old this week. Now will the oldest" graduate step forward and smilingly acknowledge the fact?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THE DOLLAR KIND.

THE DOLLAR KIND.
 Whats become of the old-fas shio man who called his watch a turnip' ?''
 "Oh, he is still to be met with, bud many people are carrying that kind watch nowadays that he no longer ha appear facetious in order to spare pride"
 HE DISCRINIINATES.
 Now, Dubbs believes in exercise
 And thinks it very good: clumsy hand at golf he tries,
 But balks at saving wood. A PROUD MOMENT.
 You are charged with speeding"
 Impossible, your honor!"
 "The policeman who arrested you s1 you were travelling at the rate of 50 md an hour"
 Indeed? I wish some of my frieI were here"
 Haven't you money enough to pay y( finer"
 "oh. yes. your honor. They have md so many uncomplimentary remarks abl my car that it would be source of md satisfaction to me if they could hear il policeman's testimony" TRUE. ''Dubson reminds me of a golf ball." q don't see the resemblance, except the head. Dubson won't even move less sufficiently urged" Neither will a golf ball.''
 so EASY TO SPELL. Anent the Teutons' latest drive We'd fain express a wish; We hope they will. no effort make To change the name of Nish.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
POSITIVELY THE LAST

From the Nashville Tennessean
 The Daughters of the American Revolu- tion have just finished celebrating their 18th birthday. This will be about the last celebration they can afford to have.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
u>pprNEss IN MrssIssIPPI

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
 Just to prove they are not moved by any narrow race prejudice party of Mis- sissippi gentlemen lynched Chinaman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
MIXED EMOTIONS

From the New York Telegram.
 Now they're recruiting for suffrage. Back, woman! I did not raise my boy to soldier while you did the heavy work of voting. Still, God bless you,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
CAN'T COMPLAIN

From the Boston Advertiser
 Under the reign of the young Turks, tue Armenians have had nothing to complain of.-Fatherland.
 We wouldn't say that, but we'd say that most of them haven't a kick left.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

Peary had a narrow escape from death in an aeroplane, and during the experi- eIce he probably felt cooler than he ever did in the vicinity of the north pole.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
ITS WELCOME

From the Boston Advertiser.
 The dying leaves swirl softly down, and dull gray looms the sky The world will. soon wear russet brown-and then comes Pumpkin Pie!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

A countryman thought Damaged Goods" posters advertised a fire sale, but a Birmingham man was persuaded to bet against Ben Hur in the chariot race of the play.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

It is almost as hard for some repub- lican editors to see great moral vic tcry" in President Wilson's controversy with Germany as it is for a prohibition ist to see any good points in an adVo- cate of well regulated saloons.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

church organ charges that there are ir moral exhibitions at the San Francisco fair. Still, there are vast areas of the fair absolutely pure and proper. Those whom the "Zone' offends may take refuge in the agricultural building.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

One thing is certain, if those Zeppelin raids continue much longer. the Britons are going to do something more than shake their fists at them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

The old-fashioned thief who stole d red hot stove has a modern counterpart in the man who stole bass viol.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
HEADQUARTERS

From the Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
 Dan Cupid has established permanent headquarters at the White House. Orders for engagements and nuptial ceremonies given prompt attention.-(Adt.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

Even if the Turk were annhilated, New York would continue to turn out a very superior brand of Turkish cigarettes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

James Hamilton Lewis has been men toned for the vice presidency. If James were elected he would make the job more spectacular than any of his predecessors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
DEFICIENCY

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 The Germans continue to measure up to the most difficult Missouri standard on all the main battle fronts
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

Now that Secretary Daniels advisory board has been photographed from va rious angles, there is nothing further to prevent it from getting down to busi- ness
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
THRIFTY JOsEPHUs

From the Boston Advertiser
 Deceiveus Daniels says the navy needs 200 airplanes, and he'll order 20 thIs year. Nobody can call him prodigal'y extravagant you bet!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

If the Bulgarian minister to England. B. Micheff, is like some other European diplomats he ought to spell his name "Mischeff.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

Take it from Charles G. D. Roberts. Prehistoric man had to keep his wits about him when he went out for stroll.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

Norm. Hapgood and the Montgomery Advertiser are not on speaking terms. The Advertiser should worry
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
HOME OF THE PEACE DOVE

From the Boston Herald.
 Columbus Day needs extra celebration this year. Columbus was the gentleman who discovered a country not involved in the war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16
JUSTICE.

When thou dost weigh thy brother'
 faults,
 If thou hast hopes of heaven, With thine own errors trim the scales And make the balance even.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

found by a. fellow poet alone, neglect and almost at grips with starvation.
 A pension from France, memorial Avignon. the scene of his early laooI a serene old age and the surer knowled that generations of children as well
 scientists would find his work key
 nature. followed Mistrars discovery
 1912 of Fabre's needs. Science IS not la ish of material reward; but the rich( and most powerful take no more wi them and often leave less behind th| did the simple old man whom Vict Hugo called 1.-The Homer of the lnsectA
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-16

The repeated assurances of the belliger eiits that they will fight to the last drop oe blood" indicates that they are about ready to quit