Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08


HE does where the wife is an
idiot. Lord alive, child, any wife is
five times as capable Of handling the
house money as the husband. We
never should have been worth a hun.
dred dollars If hadn't taken the
money matter into my own hands,
When the subject was changed the
wife found herself thinking 1t would
be very nice to handle the money,
but was almost sure the husband
would not consent, but he came home
with a surprise for her. 1t happened
he had heard that Aunt Prue was at
the house that afternoon, and know.
ing her ideas on finance he suspected.
kitty, I've been thinking things
over today"
What things?"
Don't you think you could make my
salary 60 further than I do?"
"Yes. I do, but"
Then I'll turn 1t over to you for
the next three months"
"You are so good, George"
you can run the house and every
thing"
why, surely thought you would
object"
But you see don't. have saved
$50 in the last six months, though |
was keeping it secret. l guess, how
ever, you can beat my record and not
try very hard"
81 shall surprise you, dearest"
She surprised him all right. AS
there we're only two Of them, he had
been buying porterhouse steak. For
dinner they now had round and
seeing that she was a tenderfoot the
butcher had charged her the same
price. The grocer weighed her sugar
and butter short, and there was a
skimping of potatoes. In two weeks,
however, the wife had managed to
save $14, and then Aunt Prue came
again.
You don't want to put your money
in the bank" said the old lady. you
send for one of those secondhand
sewing machines that are advertised
as good as new. You can surely save
thirty-five dollars"
Il will"
"A man called at the house yes
terday with stock in silver mine to
sell. 1t Is a stock to be sold only to
ministers and widows but after some
coaxing, and after promising never to
tell, he let me have fifty dollars
worth of stock for SIS. 1t will pay
dividends Of 80 per cent.
"But I'll buy the stock for you now,
and In two weeks you can pay me for
It, Never miss a good thing II you
can help it. l would not say any
thing to George about 1t If I were
you"
During the last month of the three
the husband looked so starved and
anxious that the wife expected to
hear him say any day that he must
turn to barks and roots to get enough
to fill up on, but he carried the thing
through like patriot.
well, the twelve weeks are up"
said the husband one evening,
"And l think can show you that
I am bit of financier," was the
proud reply.
The sewing machine had been
brought over that afternoon, and the
husband was led into its presence.
How much?"
"Only fifteen dollars"
II know of three secondhand ma
chimes here in town that you can buy
at five dollars each, but never mind
that"
Here is some silver stock that Aunt
Prue bought for me-"
"Then she ought to give you your
money back, for that swindle was ex.
posed years ago"
"Oh, George, have been swindled?"
"Most surely, but what else?"
II bought two seashore lots"
II heard you had and looked them
up. They are on the edge of big
New Jersey swamp"
"And-and-"
Did you buy half of Lake Erie for
a melon patch?"
''Not quite. I only bought some
stock in Peruvian gold mine."
81 see. Now we will figure up
what you have saved in your twelve
weeks"
Don't, George-don't!" she sobbed,
"But, you see"
''If you won't, you may call Aunt
Prue an idiot"
"As | was going to say"
"And you may handle the house
money to the last day of your life!"
And George grinned and kissed her,
and Aunt Prue hasn't been in the
house since.