The Grangeville globe. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho) 1907-1922, 1915-12-16
Der German Cobbler
He Makes His Shop
an Up to Date One
BY NJ. QUAD
Copyright. 1915, by Mcclure News
paper Syndicate

gins to sniff und smell und make up
some faces.
do you smell some new mince piesT'
l asked him, und he answers:
Der law ought to complain for you.
Dot old lamp of yosrs alone gifts out
a smell like some horse dead for two
weeks. Hans. you vhas back number
You vhas forty miles into der woods,
While all der peoples around you vhas
up to date. If man comes along here
In der evenings und likes a cement
patch on his shoe he looks into der
window und sees dat old lamp. The
place vhas gloomy und dark. Dat man
says to himself dat your leather vhas
mouldy. your shoe pegs rotten und dat
you can't get good work done. So he
goes along to some cobbler shop NIT en-
terprise. Dat old lamp has cost you a
good many million dollars in loss of
trade"
MAYBE 1t vhas so. but don't say
nothing"
IF you have four gas burners in
here" he goes on, ''all vhas different
Your shop vhas so light dot you can see
when you drop a two dollar bill from
your pocket. People who go by stop
und say to themselves dat you are up
to date. und dey Will rush In here in
such crowds dat 1t takes four police
mems to rap der heads. A great fortune
is yours. Hans. und are you going to
grab on to it?''
But I have no gas" says.
But you must have gas. Dots what
we are talking about. You vhas an old
friend of mine. l have some spare time
on my hands just now. und l Will put
in dot gas und see all about it. When
1t vhas in. tell my clerk to give you
the very best gas und not mix any
molasses with it,
IF you do dot, Mr.. Sprickman, dots
more dan brother would do. 1t vhill
show me dot you vhas der biggest
hearted man in der world. | never
hat sooch kindness offered me before,
und it makes some tears come into my
eyes"
In two days Mr.. Sprickman gets a
man, und dey dig ditch und put in a
iron pipe and run der pipe into my
shop. Den Mr.. Sprickman gets some
gas fixtures. Dere vhas four lights
Und my wife she claps her hands und
says we vhas rich. In three or four
days man comes in NIT a big iron
box on his back and says to me:
Hello. Dutchy-here vhas your gas
meter"
In FIVE days more Mr.. SprickmaI
comes in again. He looks around init
joy on his face 1t vhas delightful tC
see him. We shake hands und hus
each other. und he asks:
Hans. didn't l tell you soT'
you did," l says. II vhas a ricl
man now, und you vhas all to blame
for it. l can do twice as much worl
: as before. und don't smell one single
smell. except dot of roses. oh, Mr.
: Sprickman, 1t vhas so good to meet
man like you"
"But what about this little bill
Hans? We might as we'll settle up to
night
Bill? Bill? Vhas dere some billT
Its only a little one. / shall asl
= you to pay me $47.5O for my work
: Dot vhas way cheap. If l had don
:. dat work for Mr.. Vanderbilt it woul
- have been $400. but you und me VIA
just ike DrOt0erS, you KNOW. OOul
: down NIT der long green, Hans"
don't come down NIT der lon
II green-not just den. l come down o
c der floor in a faint, und Mr.. Spricl
Il man hat to hit me five times with hi
- hammer before l vhas all right agaiI
But l can't talk to him. My throa
- was all swelled up. He says he Viii
~ see me some odder time, und he goe
u AWAY.
+ Den comes a man from der gas o
IL flee. He walks in NIT a whistle III
le opens der closet door to look at dat m
3 ter. His hair rose up und lifted b
le hat, und his eyes were like two tie
IS cups.
ol "Vhas 1t all rightT' asks.
e. ''It vhas more dan all right, Hans
he he replied. "You have burned abo
re 100000 feet of gas in der last twent
ne eight days! You keep right on, III
ID der gas company Will hat porterhou
steak three times a day. Will "
OF give me a check?"
n How moochT'
ok 81 Will take 100000 und come ba
er again tomorrow with der wagon
. take der rest"
he belief he goes out, but l dunno.
of faints away again. Und when I col
- to l vhas in my bed upstairs und I
h wife und children vhas crying out
of l vhas dead. Der doctor vhas de
he und he says:
So mo; he isn't dead. He vhas il
a ripe enough for der idiot asylum. u
Ill OATS where | Will send him."
he But l promised to be good, und
tn don't send me. In three or four nigl
er. more Mr.. Sprickman calls, und
as shakes me by der hand until I vi
ed tired Den he lets go und says:
ley Hans. | vhant to Congratulate 20
lit About vhatY
Ugh "Vhy, about being up to date"
to what you meanT"