The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

Bill Barbanks. the mulewhacker on
the side Of the creek. IL trying to make
q great mystery Of the fact that he got
dose Of birdshot In this town the
certainly attempted to assassinate him
as he was riding along Cheyenne street
| at midnight, and he thinks OF Offering
a reward of 5000 for the arrest Of the
wretch.
william Is simply playing the pub
lie. but he can't play US. We had just
stretched out on our cot THURSDAY
night. and the hour was about IL. when
We heard him cussing when he was yet
a long ways OF. When he reached the
office he dismounted and hunted
up big club. and was about to smash
q handful of fine shot. kept on hand
for such emergencies. We hardly be-
lieved any of them would go through
the buckskin and dirt. but 1t seems
they did. and he had to have doctor
pick them out. The best thing Bill can
do is to keep shet- He attempted a
smart trick and got left. but there
isn't q man this side of Tombstone who
clean through him and his dromedary.
too.
II the so-called Mai. Skinner. who
has loafed around this town for the
last six months. has any friends who
have his welfare at heart. they will call
him of the perch. 1t seems the Major
has been laying his pipes for office.
asking him where he stole his last COW.
has somewhat clouded his prospects
He now threatens to shoot US on sight.
and was seen at the postoffice yester-
day with big revolver belonging to
Luke Higgins.
We regret these little annoyances. but
IL they must be met we are not the man
to shrink from the task. Tomorrow after
OFF 200 auction bills. We shall strap our
gun and take a walk. II Maj Skinner
has departed for Tucson he may live to
be a hundred years old. II he hasn't, he
will make No. 10 in our private grave
yard. This is official and comes right
from headquarters.
The wheezy. broken-backed press own
ed by our esteemed contemporary fell
to pieces the other day as he was get
ting ready to work his outside form, and
as soon as we heard OF the accident We
rendered hi mthe use Of ours. He crate
fully accepted. but, alas, no act Of kind
ness or generosity can change the leop-
ards spots. His circulation. while given
at 3, $50. is in reality only 80 He hadn't I
the manhood about him to bring along
his $50 sheets Of white paper and depend
on our honor. but he hires a cart and
drives up with two whole bundles. and
then pretends he has run short. Two
men were kept hard at work all day
and hundreds of sheets of paper were
recklessly wasted. that the old hypocrite
and falsifier might fiatter himself that
We We're deceived. We don't like such
men. We can't believe they are an orna-
ment to growing Western town.
firms in this town have combined to get
up a boom and make things jump. In
fact. they offered Us a half-page ad- for
this week. hut We did not take il. AS
t..Na .twt,F -H
Omaha at poker. but as an editor we
can't be hired TO help swindle our sub
scribers. In order to Offset the mach
nations of this syndicate We wish to
say:
We have got the fog-end of one rail-
road line and neither want nor will get
anything more.
society is not cultivated Such a thing
as a toothbrush or volume of poems
found on a man here would hang him.
The land around the town Is so poor
that it takes nine feet Of it over dead
II is not a trade center. We have the
Digger Indian on three sides of us. and
a large family OF coyotes on the fourth.
making the demand for buffaio-skin
overcoats and linen busters about equal
and mighty steady.
1t is not sanatorium for invalids. II
the climate didn't kill 'em. our doctors
would.
This is about ALL but enough to put
our subscribers on their guard and to
clear cur conscience if our advice Is not
taken. Now. gentlemen of the combina-
ton. go ahead with your boomlet.
As an individual to plug around to
place ourselves. and though We own the
only shirt in this town which buttons
behind. no man can ever charge us with
ever trying to fling on scallops over the
other boys. strangers have taken us for
Digger Indian oftener than for the
editor of a great weekly paper. but our
feelings have never been ruffled. As
many mean things as our jealous-minded
contemporary has said of US. he has
never dared charge us with wearing a