davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22
Jingling Jokelets
Joyfully Jibed

Il wish you had a more off-hand way
of doing business" said the customer.
"Why how is that?" said the
butcher.
ooh, l was just noticing hat your
hand was on the scales when you
weighed the meat"
Mr.. Blank is SO fat that he can't get
near enough the counter to sell goods"
well well, that must be a corpora
ton in restraint Of trade"
and Shakespeare and the mind of the
pupil was just a little mixed when she
answered the question. why is the
waters in the river at Liverpool always
muddy and thick?" and replied, THAT
1t was because the quality of the Mer-
sey a not strained"
8 @ O
A lady rushed up to Chief of Police
Gullick the other day in great distress
because she had lost her little boy,
"Never mind" said the Chief, every
body in the neighborhood knows him
and he'll soon be found" The poor
lady replied in anguish, ooh, my, no.
boldly will know him, | just gave him
a bath today"
A Brookings man went to the big
auto show in the Twin Cities this win
ter and was met by former citizen of
our fair city, who expressed surprise
at seeing him, knowing that he owned
no car and had an expressed dislike
for them, and in fact could not buy a
car if he did want to, We'll, I'll tell
you" replied our esteemed citizen, lit
is just fine to come to such a place
once a year and see the ears you don't
have to dodge"
We were engaged the other evening
in telling of an incident that once oc-
cured to us, and a friend looked us
sQuarely in the eye and sternly inquir-
ed, do you mean to say that this
really occurred to you" And we re-
piled with the calmness of pure limo
cency, Eyes, it just occurred to me-"
N as as
Friend: 81 understand that your
practice is growing bigger"
Young Doctor: "Sure, my patient
has gained two pounds in the last
month"
Customer:-That coat bought of
you was full of moths.
Clothing Dealer:-Well, what do
you expect for two dollars SHUTTER.
flies?
Girl.-You must not put your arm
around me, you've only known me fol
five minutes.
Boy feel that l have known you
for years, darling.
Girl.-Sir, you are exceeding the
speed limit.
O @ O.
"Of course" said Sunny Jim, "if a
man is looking for trouble he's sure to
find it."
YES" replied the Kicker, "and if
he's so lazy that he tries to avoid it, ii
will find him. So what's the differ
ence?" o @ @
Mary had a little lamb,
1t was SO very good,
That when they asked her to have
more
She said, she thought she would.
--E~-
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22
Graham Mullins

I cup graham -four; 1 cup pastry
-four; 2 level teaspoonftls X c Baking
Ponder; 1 to 2 leUeltabtespoonfuls sugar;
. ~teaspoontuL salt; 1 egg: IT cups milk or
Water; 2 to 8 tablespoontitls melted but
ter; mir and bake as One-Egg Mullins.
Graham batter should always be quite soft
to insure light and moist mullins.
To get SO other recipes as good as these,
send us the certificate packed in every IS
cent can of K c Baking Powder, and we will
send you "The Cooks Book by Mrs.
Janet Mckenzie Hill. Handsomely illus
trated. jacques Mfg. Co., Chicago.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22
WHO RUNS THE PAPER?

In a neighboring county a clergyman
took the editor of the local paper to
task because the editor accepted a GER
tain advertising contract. The good
mar forgets that for years the editor
had given freely of his space to help
the church; had printed columns of no.
tees of services, meetings, suppers,
entertainments and lectures, all free.
In donating this space the editor had
given more than the equivalent of
cash. He had given publicity, and
thus had done more to support the
church and pay the minister's, salary
than any three members of the church
had done. An editor has but two
sources of income, his subscription list
and his space. Yet. in this case, when
he sold his space he lost a subscriber.
or course. no one need subscribe to a
paper unless he wishes to do SO, but
no subscriber should want to dictate
to the editor as to what he should pub
lish. Many editors will not accept
certain lines of advertising. Other
editors cannot afford, perhaps, to be
so Independent. Business conditions
often govern these matters. That's all
right. as long Is fakirs, and g~rafters
and swindlers are kept out. No n
can u a paper to please everyone,
be that paper big or little. 1t is the
editors paper and it is his living. But
sometimes he let's someone, who
either has a crouch or a grudge to get
him to put in something "funny"-just
for a joke you know-and when too
late the editor finds out he is the
goat" and the joke has kicked back.
The editor should Judge what should
and what should not be. published In
its columns. and the editor of the Her.
aid IL going to follow that rule from
now on.-Flandreau Herald.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22

held at Brookings. Miss Koehn pre-
scented 1.-THE Martydom of Joan of Arc''
with a forcefulness and ardor which
did great credit to herself and school.
She received a silver medal for her
efforts. We wish her farther success
in o~ratorical contest.-Elkton Record.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22
Mullins

BY Mrs. Janet Mckenzie Hill, Editor Of
Che Boston Cooking School Magazine.
When mullins are on the breakfast table,
nobody cares for meat or eggs and they
would be served more often If this meal
were not prepared SO hurriedly that there
Is no time to make them. If X c, the
double-raise baking powder Is used. the
batter may be stirred up the night before,
put in the pan ready for baking and moth
ing to do in the morning but bake them
One-Egg Mullins
cups -four; 2 slightly rounded tea
spoonfuls X c Baking Ponder; 1 tea
spoonful salt; ] cup sugar; I cup melted
butter or lard; 1 egg; 1 cupWater or milk.
Sift dry ingredients together three times.
Add to this the unbeaten egg, melted
shortening and water or milk. Then beat
all together until perfectly smooth. Oil
mufhn or gem pans and have oven slow
until the mullins come to the top of the pan,
then increase the heat TO bake CygSsYSaSsA
and brown the mullins. This kSsszsaS1ssa
recipe makes II large mullins. ~
RaiSins or currants may be nv
added if desired. ,&MfI3332N
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22

Last Friday evening, Eugene Koehn,
of the Elkton high school, won second
place in the district oratorical contest
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22

That's why Goodyears hold the
highest place. That's why men
lastyearb bought 1,479, 883-about
one Goodyear for everycar in use.
The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1915-04-22
Reduction No. 3

On February 1st we made our
third big price reduction in two
years. The three total As per
cent. Yet we retain every costly,
exclusive feature. And we spend
500, 900 yearly to discover other
betterments. We can and do
give most for the money because
of our matchless output
You'll find that Goodyears
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
SACK FROM THE FIRING LINE
First Aid to the Wounded.

aris, March AT almots every
station on the railroads you will see
men shattered and wrecked for life,
men who must face the future hor-
rjbly mutilated, and yet they accept
their fate without a murmur of com
plant or bitterness. 1t is the same
in England. in France, and, | suppose,
in Russia, that all soldiers are bear
ing their suflerings with the greatest
of fortitude.
The best aid these men have is
within themselves. The human body
will best resist infection from bullets
when it is healthy, strong, active
and with all of its functions fully
alive and working. The best aid to
this condition is a vegetable tonic
and Alternative that will first put the
stomach and blood right, for these
are dependent on one another. Good
stomach means good blood, and like
wise good blood means good stom-
ach.
DR.. Pierces Golden Medical Dis
coyery helps the stomach to do its
work naturally and properly, stimu-
lates the liver. The system is freed
from pOisons. The blood is purified.
Every organ is rejuvenated. This
Medical Discovery" of DR.. Pierce, is
made from the roots and barks of
American forest plants with triple
refined glycerine, and is the best
blood purifier, because it banishes
from the blood all poison and i'm
pre- matter. 1t dissolves impure de-
posits and carries them out, as it
does all impurities through the bow
els, kidneys and skin. If you have
indigestion, sluggish liver, catarrh,
unsteady nerves, or pimply skin,
get DR. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery today and start at once to
replace your impure blood with the
kind that puts energy and ambition
into You and brings back youth and
vigor-Adv.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
MARCH 2 IN HISTORY.

1791-John Wesley, famous Metho-
dist, preacher and missionary
died in London. Born in Lin
colnshire, June 2S, 1903.
1S04-The new government of the
island of Santo Domingo de-
cided to call the country Hayti
which was the original name OF
the island
iS3G-TeXas proclaimed its independ
ence of Mexico.
1SSG-Judge Gildersleeve charges the
new grand jury strongly on
the subject of bribery.
1909-The president named a com
mission to investigation Liber-
ian conditions.
1913-A proclamation warning Amer
leans to observe the neutrality
laws with Mexico, issued :.
the president
MeXicans opened Gre on the
United States border patrol
at Douglas. AriZ. Six MeXi-
cans shot No Americans
were woun 1e1.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
CRUSIO-Houston, Texas

in New York City. Although Miss
Jones is at present learning the mys-
teries of the carbureter, magnetic and
other automobile essentials, her ul-
innate ambition is to be a chauffeur,
and thus become self-supporting.
A bill has been introduced in the
Kansas legislature which provides
that women under 45 years of age
who wear earrings or treat their faces
with cosmetics "for the purpose of
creating a false impression" will be
guilty of misdemeanors and upon con-
viction be subject to fines Face
powders. perfumes, false hair, and
hair bleaching materials are among
the materials women are forbidden
to use.
Queen Wilhelmina OF Holland is
| sometimes referred to as the queen
| with the finest complexion in Europe,
but few people know that she has
special recipe for keeping the skin
in perfect condition. Some time ago
she adopted the plan of the Dutch
ladies of taking lemon baths Five
or six lemons are squeezed into the
bath and various scents then added
including eau de cologne, of which
she is said to use a pint a day. The
bath is highly invigorating.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Makes Stubborn, Coughs
Vanish in a Hurry
Surprisingly Good Cough Syrup
Ensiiy and Chcnply
Made at Home

II some one in your family has an OBJ
stinate cough or bad throat or chest
cold that has been hanging ON and refuses
to yield to treatment, get from any drug
store 2ia ounces OF PneN and make it
into a pint OF cough syrup, and watch
that cough vanish.
Pour the 2la ounces OF Pinex 80
cents WORTH into a pint bottle and fill
the bottle with plain granulated sugar
syrup. The total cost is about 81 cents,
and gives YOU full pint. family
supply-of most effective remedy. at a
saving of -. \ days use will usually
overcome a hard cough. Easily prepared
in ) minutos-full directions with PineX.
Keeps perfectly and has a pleasant taste.
Children like it.
It's really remarkable how promptly
and easily il loOsGns the dry, hoarsc or
tight cough and heals the inilamed mem
branes in IA painful cough. 1t also stops
the formation OF phlegm in the throat
and bronchial tubes, thus ending the per-
sistcnt loose cough. \ splendid remedy
for bronchitis, winter coughs, bronchial
asthma and whooping cough.
PineX is a special and highly conccn-
trated compound of genuine Norway pine
extract, rich in Lualacol which is Sc
healing to the membranes.
Avoid disappointment by asking your
druggist for "21a ounces OF pineN," and
do not accept anything else. a guarantee
OF absolute satisfaction goes with this
preparation or money promptly refunded
The PineX Co., TT. Na5Ec, Ind.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
BROWNING Class.

The Book of Psalms is the great
est body of lyric poetry in the
world" said Mrs. Barry in the first
of the two lectures to be given before
the Browning class on THE Poetry
of the Bible"
THE Psalms and other lyrics of
the Bible we're sung and wr.tt@r by
people whose primitive imaGi va
ton and emotion were lifted to high
planes of thought and feeling by deep
religious experiences and a conscious
personal relationship to God. The
language of the ancient Hebrew was
perfect medium for such poetry.
Il never lost the primitive union be-
tween sensation and idea. Thus the
most striking characteristics of the
poetry is objectivity and concrete i'm
agery. The deep undercurrent OF
feeling gave it a strong rhythm and
rich coloring.
The basis of their verse form is
parallelism of thought rather than q
rhythm of recurring accented and un-
accepted sounds. This gave great
freedom to the poet and makes He
brew verse easily translated"
Mrs. Barry cited Balaam's speech
Numbers %; s, as a good illustration
of parallelism and its effect on the
ear. Read" she continued, with
every other line omitted. the speech
is prose, but with each thought re-
peated it becomes verse.
Much of the early poetry had its
origin in the dance and the dirge
With the dance ode, such as the songs
of Miriam and of Deborah. Later
the processionary ode became a part
of the temple service. Many of the
poems in the book of Psalms are Of
this character There are votive
hymns, national hymns, and the elab-
crate Egyptian Hallel, Some of the
finest lyrics, however, are those OF
purely personal character, such as
the twenty third and ninteenth
Psalms. The last" Mrs. Barry says.
contains the whole philosophy of
life and the basis of albright edu-
cation"
Many new and beautiful concep-
tions of the literature of the Bible
were given by Mrs Barry The af-
ternoon proved to be one of the most
interesting of the series. The next
date will be deferred until April q.
During the month of March Mrs. Bar
ry will lecture in the north and east.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

noon at the High school auditorium
with Mrs. viii Morgan leader.
After the roll call splendid pa
per, Santa Anna" was read by Mrs
Morgan. Miss Amelia Hunter de-
scribed the Alamo and its interesting
history. Miss Daisy Nichols told OF
of the Missions, and Mrs. Ralph Ram
sey read an interesting paper on
Mexican life and Mexican history
Mrs. S. A. Apple spoke of the var
ious places of note to be seen in
San Antonio and described the beau
ties of the city.
The table talk; Lucia de Lammer-
moor, was one of the enjoyable fea-
lures of the study hour. Miss Corlew
led the parliamentary drill.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

81 am not surprised to observe the
number Of men who come into the store
to purchase Mothers Friend, remarked
a leading druggist.
The expectant mother If she hasn't
heard of this splendid eInbrocatio1 is
probably not reading the papers to much
extent And if she does it is naEp'
thought to send hubby to the drug stcro
Mothers Friend is applied external
over the abdominal muscles.
1t is a gentle. soothing lubricant, pcne-
trltes to the fine network OF ncrvc-
beneath the skin and has n marked
tendency to relieve the muscular strain
TO which these broad, fiat abdominal
muscles are subjected. The cords. tea
dons and ligaments are thus permitted &c
stretch without the corresponding surfaca g
strain so often involved during the period
of expectation. And particularly to youns
mothers is this remedial application OF
inestimable value since in thus keeping
the muscles firm but plant it enables
them TO go through the ordeal without
lacpration of the epidcrmis often the case
when tbs gentle attention is neglected.
Mothers Friend is highly recon-
mended by a host of women. Write
Bradheld Regulator Co, 40S Lamar Bldg,
Atlanta Ga, and Ne will send you Va
liable little book to expectant ro,41Ii'
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
ACTIVITIES OF WOMEN
Interesting Notes of the Feminine
Sex the World over.

There are fewer women than men
in Albania.
England has at the present time
100000 surplus women.
twenty-five states now have wild
ows' pension laws.
The best dentists in Belgrade, Ser
bia. are sisters.
A league for business opportuni-
ties for women has been organized
in New York City, the object OF
which is 10 secure equal pay with
men FOR women employed in the bus
mess world.
Women will be employed az chaus
feurs on Toledo's jitney busses.
Over one million women are en-
gagged throughout Germany in work
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Delightful Afternoon.

Marked by many delightful details
and refreshing informality, the after
noon spent Monday with Mrs. John
Teer, when number of friends as
sembled to assist her celebrate her
birthday, will be remembered by
those present as a most pleasing and
enjoyable hospitality. Those who
knew the occasion showered the hos
tess with dainty souvenirs. Fancy
work and merry chat kept the guests
engaged until a beautiful luncheon
was served.
Present We're Mesdames Smith,
Wall, Guy P. Cobb, John Dexter II.
A. Ledbetter C. l.. Anderson, c. l..
Byrne, II. II. Sayre, S. NJ. Davis,
Z. L. Evans, r. H. Hoyle, F. j..
Ramsey, Goodwin, Ray G Poland,
Shelby Downward, Towle and Stuart.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
CAN'T FIND DANDRUFF

Every bit of dandruff disappears af-
ter one or two applications of Dan
derine rubbed well into the scalp with
the finger tips. Get q 25-cent bottle OF
Danderine at any drug store and save
your hair. After o few applications you
can't end q particle Of dandruff or any
falling hair, and the scalp will never
itch.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Cures Old Sores, Other Remedies Mont Cure.

The worst cases, no matter OF how long standing.
are cured by the wonderful, old reliable Dr.
Porter's Antiseptic Healing Oil. 1t relieves
Pain and Heals at the same time. 2oc' SOC, 5loO
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

The Samoset- Dundee well in IL
5-3 was still fishing at the last re-
port. ga
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
}. :: :: :: u ;: ;: I. :; {. :: y II {. 81
SOCIAL CALENDAR
Tuesday.

Tuesday.
Christian Aid society, Mrs.
Eddleman.
st. Philips Guild, Mrs. j. w.
Newcomb.
Broadway Baptist Mission
ary at church.
Broadway Methodist Mis-
sionary at church.
Bundle Day" at rest room.
Catholic Ladies society,
Mrs. Burrow.
East Ardmore Presbyterian,
Mrs. hampton.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

Miss Helen Sayre will leave this
week for Dallas, where she will spend
fortnight.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Wednesday.

Philharmonic club, Mrs.
Pennington.
Ferndale Review club, Mrs.
Bumpass.
Era club.
Bible Study class.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Friday.

Thimble Tea club, Mrs, Roy
Johnson.
Sixth-Day Embroidery, Mrs.
A. M. Brady.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

Tennis was ushered in with March
yesterday and the courts at the High
school and ward buildings are being
prepared for the springtime sport.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Era Club.

The Era club will meet Wednesday
afternoon with Mrs. Han.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

There will be a regular meeting O
the Maccabees Wednesday afternoon
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

Miss Sadie Ikard returned Monda.
morning to Durant, where she is at
tending Normal.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Orio Clut

The Orio club met Monday after
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Thursday.

Summit City club, Mr.. and
Mrs. Dolman.
Priscilla club, Mrs. Robert
Gillian.
Matinee dance at Elks' club.
F. and E. club.
o. d. o. club, Mrs. Wilkes.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

The friends of Miss Minnie Ru-
disell of Oklahoma City, formerly of
Ardmore, will be glad to know that
she will visit at the home of Colone!
and Mrs. Sidney Suggs for some
time.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02
Saturday..

Saturday Lily Bid Bridge
club.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1915-03-02

Il :: :: :: Il ;: {: {: :: (" {. :, Z. - :: 4:
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-05-20
AMERICAS FISHERMEN
CLASH WITH MEXICANSI
Shots Exchanged by Boats off Ensen.
ada-Mexican Customs official
Mortally Wounded.

SAN DIEGO, Cal, May 20. - The
American fishing launch New Ancono
arrived here yesterday with bullet holes
in her hull, received, her captain,
Joseph Escotianius, declared, in an at
tack by the Mexican patrol launch En-
senada.
Captain Eseotianius said he was at,
tackled eight miles off shore and half
way between Ensenada, Lower Cali
fornia, and San Diego and was flying
the American flag. His crew of three
men crouched behind fish nets, fred Is
shots and the Ensenada sheered off, the
captain reported.
Ensenada port authorities and Ameri.
can-owned fishing boats have been al
outs for some time.
Messages received here from En-
senada stated that one of the Mexican
customs officers, aboard the patro
boat, was shot five times by the Ameri
can fishermen, dying shortly after the
arrival of the patrol boat at the Mexi
can port.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-05-20
CHANGE FAvoRs UNITED STATES
New British Cabinet Likely to Improve
Shipping Situation.

WASHINGTON, May 20.-Tkere is 6
strong probability of more favorable
treatment for American shipping in
terests as result of the coming reor
ganization of the British cabinet.
1t is the expectation of officials
here that when the changes contem.
plated under Premier Asquith IS an
nouncement are put into effect Sir Ed
ward Grey, minister of foreign affairs
will exercise larger influence in the
administration than heretofore. The
foreign office has been disposed in
many instances to treat neutral inter.
ests with much more liberality than
has been the practice, but was prevent
ed from doing so by the predominant
influence of the admiralty and the VIZ.
ministry. The lessening of the f1es-
potic power of the military branches
of the government over all other
branches is understood here to be the
chief objective of the cabinet changes
about to-be made.
With this Accomplishment, good rea-
son is found for expecting that not only
will the British authorities be more
lenient in treatment of American ship
ping interests, but that the delays
which really have been a greater cause
Of suffering to Americans than the
British policies themselves will be sub
stantially reduced.