davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
Quincy High Wins Close
Game From ke0kuk Squad

Stuart opened up in his new position
by making several brilliant gains.
Schauff scored the first touchdown for
Quincy by racing through to goal from
the center of the field on an on tackle
play. Heibreder kicked goal.
Quincy then kicked to Keokuk. This
visitors tried forward pass which
Schaun intercepted. Then followed
another race to the goal, Hefbreder
carrying the ball across the line. He
failed to kick goal this time.
Quincy kicked of again and with de
feat staring her in the face, Keokuk
rAde desperate last effort that al
most counted. Two long forward
passes and big end run put the Wis
itors Eve yards from Quincy's goal
with two minutes to play. Here Keo-
kuk was held. Roberts touchdown not
counting as 1t came after the whistle
had blown.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
coIgate Swamped.

|IIJnited Press Leased Wire SerTlce.l
SYRACUSE. N. Y, Nov. 13.-syra'
cuse swamped Colgate, her ola ri''.
SO to o, this afternoon, oIeaAins
hoodoo OF many years stand. ooo
A record crowd, estimated az z''V''
persons. saw the game.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
Couldn't aa Held.

Philadelphia North American: AS a
matter of fact, Bryan's opponents
would not have to be forced to take
the first line; you couldn't hold 'em
back!
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
Lucky Score in Third
Quarter Beats
Princeton
TBy George r. Holmes, United Press
Star CQrrAnnondent

|[By George r. Holmes, United Press
Stan Correspondent
NEW HAVEN, Conn. Nov. 13.-Tom
Shevltn, the miracle man Of football,
saved Yale from the worst gridiron
season in her history today. He
sent . two weeks old eleven against
Princeton and aided by the gods of
good luck, swept the Tigers to q we'll
nigh heartbreaking defeat. 13 to Z.
The score gives but little intimation
of how terrific battle was waged.
The greatest crowd that ever saw .
Yale-Princeton game, viewed the strug-
gle. More than $4,000 persons. most
ly students and graduates. made the
huge bowl bedlam OF cheering
throughout the game.
Back in the dark ages some geek
opined that history repeats itself. 1t
did at the bowl this afternoon, but
with a reverse English. In 1911,
Sammy White, OF Princeton, snatched
up straying punt and raced across
Yale's goal line to q touchdown and
victory. This afternoon pie" Way,
Yale's six foot right tackle, grabbed a
crafty hopping punt twenty yards
from the Tiger goal and was over tho
Princeton line before even his own
teammates could realize what had
happened.
The score up to that time-in the
third quarter. was to 6, with Prince
ton on the seven end.
Tigers Fight Hard.
Facing the bitterest defeat In years
because 1t was the most unexpected
the Tigers made one OF the games
fights in the last quarter ever seen on
any football field, but the attack fail
ed at crucial moments. For the last
five minutes Of the game Yale's goal
line was always In danger Of being
crossed.
The Tigers were out-jumped on the
getaway. The first quarter ended with
neither side having scored. In the
second quater, standing on his own 81
yard line, Otis Guernsey booted the
first three points through the Tiger
goal it was the longest drop kick
made in a major game in recent
years. The ball struck the cross bar.
nesitated a moment and then rolled
over. A few minutes later he dupli-
Then the Tigers began the attack
them the most feared team : In the
east. Yard by yard with briggs. Shea,
Tibbot and Click, alternating-.~it the
ball they moved down to wftf1n twelve
inches Of the Eli's goal =
Halted Foot From Goal.
There they halted for i've minutes.
Time and again Captain Click, play
ing his last game for Princeton, hurl-
ed himself against the line and each
time was thrown back. It was neces-
sary for the officials to hold a con-
sultation as to whether Princeton had
scored. The Tigers failed BY inches
until briggs was given the ball and he
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
Score by periods
Princeton, 0700-
Yale, 067O-1S.
Summary.
Is, briggs, Way.

Summary.
Touchdowns, briggs, Way.
Field goals, Guernsey, 2.
Goals from touchdowns, Guernsey,
TibbOtt.
Substitutions. Princeton, Law for
briggs; Eddy for Dickerman; Dicker.
man for Tjbbott; Moore for Shea; VII.
SON for H1ghley; Brown for wilson;
Ames for Click; Larsen for Parisette,
Semmens for Gennert; Heyniger TO-
Nourse; Love for Hogg.
Yale, Gates for c. Sheldon; Higgin
botham for Church; Moseley for WED
eman: Allen for Moseley.
Omcials, Tuft, Brown, referee.
Marshall, Harvard. umpire.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
Football Results

East.
Yale, 10; Princeton, Z.
Michigan, o; Pennsylvania, Q.
Navy, %; Colby, IA.
Harvard, 16: Brown, 7.
Army, "a; Maine, 0.
Cornell, 40; Washington and Lee, 81.
Penn State. 80: Lafayette, 8.
Amherst, 81; Williams, O..
Georgetown, %; North Carolina Ag.
giles, 0.
Pitt, 49, Carnegie Technical, 0.
Davis Elkins, 10; Marshall, 6.
Syracuse, 50; Colgate, 0.
Rutgers. %: All Stars, z.
Tufts, So. Bowdoin. 0.
Dartmouth, 27; Bates, 0.
w. and j.. z; West Virginia Wes-
leyan, 8. =
West.
Minnesota, 20; Chicago. Z.
Illinois, Z; Wisconsin, 8.
Indiana, 10: Northwestern, 8.
chic State, %; Oberlin, o.
s,mes, IS; Iowa, o.
Kentucky State, z: Purdue, 0.
Nebraska, SO; Kansas, 0.
Notre Dame. Al; Creighton. 0.
Miami. IA; Ohio college, s.
Case, o; Wooster, 0.
Reserve, 35: Mount Union. o.
Franklin, 10: Louisville, z.
Missouri. Al; Drake, 10.
Grinnell vs. Monmouth, not played,
game postponed.
Missouri, Al; Drake. 10.
At Galesburg-Lombard %: Brad
ley Poly, 0.
Wabash, IS: Earlham. O.
Depau, IA: Rose Poly, 6.
Butler, 20; Hanover, 7.
South.
Georgia. o; Georgia Techt.. 0.
Mississippi College, "A; University
Of Mississippi, 7.
Springhill, 10; Southern University,
6.
Georgia, o; Georgia Techt., o.
Auburn. 0; Vanderbilt. II.
Tennessee. o: Miss. A. and NJ, IA.
North Carolina. 20; Davidson, 6.
Sewanee, 0; Chattanooga, 0.
Virginia, 10; South Carolina, 0.
Citadel, o; Florida, 6.
Texas. 30: Alabama, 0.
Taylor, 12 Oklahoma Aggies, s.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14
Knows Human Natur,

Fremont Tribune: It's wise jitney
who hires pretty girl to ride in the
back seat.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14

The Lineup.
Wisconsin. Position. Illinois.
Meyers br0nneman
Right end.
Filter ...... Hetty
Right tackle.
Hancock stewart
Right guard.
Center.
@. Simpson. -. ........... Hanchman
Left guard.
Buck Rundquist
Light tackle.
Stayrum S4u1er
Left end.
e. Simpson. clark
Quarter back.
Giayer Macomber
Right half back.
Cummings .................. Pogue
Left half back.
hreuSe adiSou
Full back.
Score by quarters
Wisconsin ...............O O.
Illinois Z O-17
Subs-Wisconsin Koch for Filter,
Pollinger for Gunderson, Taylor for
e. Simpson, Smith for Giaver Peder-
son for Smith, Weimer for Peterson,
McCroy for Cummings, Reiger for
Kreuse, Berg for Reiger; Illinois:
Craft for Squier, Phipps for Runquist.
Graham for Hanchman, Potter for
Watson, MacGregor for Stewart, Mad
sen for Petty, Brenneman for Clark.
Marquard for Brenneman, Anderson
for Pogue, Connell for Anderson.
Pethybridge for Macomber, Nelson for
Halstrom.
Touchdowns-C1ark and Nelson.
Goals from NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
2.
Goals from neld-Macomber, E.
Simpson.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14

Referee-Baird, Carthage.
Umpire-Irwin. Quincy.
Timers-Dr. r. L. Reid, Keokuk;
Zens Smith, Quincy.
Score by quarters:
l.eokuk-6000,
Quincy-0O013.
Touchdowns-W. Roberts, Schauff,
Heibreder.
Goals-Heibreder.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14

The Lineup.
keokuk. Quincy.
LeFatvre .................... Breeze
Center.
Waterman, Wells
Right guard.
Ackley ................... Schaberg
Right tackle
l.. Roberts NMcCarl
Right end.
wooster Hollon
Left guard.
1ulShAmp dorsey
Left tackle.
VelS, Joy beSI
Left end.
Hancock ............ Morris, Stuart
Quarterback.
w. Roberts HetDreder
Fu1lback.
Wygle Schaun
Right half
Beach ............... Dorsey, Morris
Left half
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1915-11-14

Observation-Disclosures: herman,
2: Long. L: Chicago: Agar, /.
Goals kicked-Minnesota Baston,
2: Chicago: Shull.
Subs-Minnesota: Johnson for Bal
lentyne, Sparks for Bierman; CHICAGO:
Bershfng for Gordon. Shafer for Nor
gren. Redmond for Whiting. Whiting
for Foster. Scanlon for Redmond,
Calm for Agar. Townley for Breslos,
O'Connor for Shafer,
, 1915-06-12
OBITUARY.

Died last night at her residence in
Queens Street, the widow Ann Eliza
Thompson. She was born in Sept. 1871.
She was educated under Bishop Westerly,
the Morayion Bishop at that time, and was
among the tilst batch Of students to gradu-
ate from the Yonpg Ladies' Seminary estab-
lished by him.
She was married to the Rev. Paul Thomp-
son OF Frie6ensfeld, ard taught withhim ia
Antigua and also in this island at La Vall6s
Two Williams, Kingshill and Friedensfeld
After his call 10 the Ministry she did not
discontinue her teaching activities, but
kept a private school, to which many
OF the gentry in the country district sent
their children.
After her husbands death she removed
to st. Thomas for q while, but was again
called to this island by school Inspector
Quin and given work in the Communal
school in this town. Here she rendered
very acceptable service, till failing health and
old age compelled her to resign.
The Moravian Church here IS also under
n great obligation to her for her unwearied
services. She has been Organist for quite q
number of years, and has only ceased being
active IN this direction because of failing
sight. She was also President and Joint
founder of the Loving Circle of Kings
Daughters, connected with the church, and
II is due TO her that the circle has been
kept going all these years.
The Funeral takes place at S o'clock this
afternoon.
We offer our sincerest coincidence West
Lind NeaoS, I'm 10Th.
, 1915-06-12

0Aclstiansted, st. &goix.
Saturday, 18th June, 1918.

Il is seldom that two "%silver' anniversa-
Ijes occur within a year to the head of the
same family. This IS, however, what has
happened to Mr.. John Motta, the FRESHMAN
in our office. On Sep: 20, 1914 lie celebrat-
ed the 18th anniversary of entering our
office, and to-day be celebrates the 25th an
niyersary Of bis marriage. We beg to offer
Mr.. q Mrs. j. Motta our sincere congrntu-
latious and We JOIN with their many friends
IN hoping that many years OF happiness and
usefulness lie before them.
We are glad to say that the Children's
Entertainment on Wednesday night w~as7well
attended, and was equally as good as when
1t was held on the first night. We offer
our congratulations to all concerned.
The $. .. "Parima" left New York on
Thursday.
The s. S. "Korona' will leave New York
on the 18th inst.
The s. s. "Guiana" for New York is due
at Frederiksted on the 22ud inst.
2 lines of rain was measured in Chris
hansted yesterday morning.
, 1915-06-12
Censored at ~Jamaica.)

London, June 9th-~Despatches from Rome
state that from the Stelvio Pass, nine thou
sand feet high. down to The sen, the Italian
troops are making steady progress along a
front of 335 miles, including three hundred
miles of mountainous country. The slopes
of Monte Nero, which are visible from Toll
mino, are the scenes of The tiercest fighting.
The Austrians are defending the town. on
which Italian airmeu dropped leaflets y@ester-
, 1915-06-12
ST. GROIN STATIC
Censored at J~amaica.)

(NensOred ut JNmalc0.)
London, June 9th-Despatches from Paris
state that north of Arras very violent fight
ing continues. An artillery engagement Of
a violent nature was fought through the
whole of Monday without interruption in
Fond de Buval, Abluin, Souchez, Melville
and Ecurie. North Of the AisDe the enemy
multiplied his desperate efforts to recapture
, 1915-06-12
PASSENGERS.
ChriStiansted.

June 8th-Dannebrog from St, Thomas
}. Nielsen, Inspector Hansen, Michael Long
bill, Brinde Blake.
June 9th-"Dannebrog" for ST, Thomas
AItora Sebastian, II. G. Hansen, c. Moller.
Mr. & Mrs. Junghaus, Miss Reider, c.. Ras-
mussen, A. Oycrscn.
, 1915-06-12

DIED at her residence in Frederiksted
on Wednesday night at 8 o'clock Mrs. ANN
L. thompson, aged IA, widow Of Rev. Paul
Thompson Of Friedensfeldt The funeral
took place ut 5 o'clock on Thursday after
noon.
, 1915-06-12

Censored ut Jamaica.)
London, June 10;h-A British official bull
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
V v ,s,7sftt
 Really Accommodasjno.


 "A cyclone is not such a bad thina. after all." remarked the portly sales man as he settled himself comfort ably In his chair. One saved i've dollars for ms once" Flow did 1t eappen!" asked a lounger. T was iD ( little town out in Kansas. about two years ago. and wanted to get 10 another small town 15 miles distant There was no railroad between the two points and was standing in front of the livery stable arguing with the Nvery1nan, who wanted Ave dollars to take me and my sample cases over. when @ cyclone came along and. picking me up, landed me right in the little town to which l wanted to go." "Er-how abolt your sam pie cases:" faltered an awed listener, sOh." suave,y replied the salesman. "the cyclone landed them just ahead of me and had my goods all spSea6 out on display wEen I got there"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
H INE BLUFF x.
 CIR { ROSPERITY gN.S {
THE CITIZENS DUTY.

1t is the duty Of every Democratic voter to go to the polls tomorrow and register his choice of men for the different offices of the county. This is a responsibility of citizenship, las well as privilege. There are men who would raise hell if not giveu the ballot, yet many of these do not value it sufficiently to utilize the the right for good government.
 Wherever political conditions are found to be in a bad way, there will be found half-hsarted citizens. too en- crossed in their own personal affairs, too careless or two cowardly to speak through the ballet box.
 Wherever there is poor government, or graft CT extravagance, or ineffic- iency in public office. the voters are to blams. The incompetents, the hoodlers. the ignorant do not seize of flee in this country in the year A. D. 1915. They are gwen the jobs by the voters.
 Thera ought to be just as much care exercised in choosing Il man for public office as there is in selecting a person to fill 9 position in private life.
 From the numerous candidates who have offered to serve Jefferson coun- ty, the voters should be able to pick a corps of officials who will render satisfactory service.
 If the voters fail, or if they neglect to vote, they should remain silent, for the fault is with them.
 Ga to the polls tomorrow and vote as though you were hiring men to fill places in your factory, sore or office, or on your farm Follow this rula !;l all elections, and efficiency in public office will increase.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
INCOME TAX LODGING.

In South Carolina, when an attempt was made to enforce publicity of in- comes by advertising it in tha tax lists, l~gging letters flewed by the thousands to those who had very good incomes. So the practice was stop ped.
 Yet it is declared by experts on tax matters that publicity is the only thing that can remedy the present wholesale dcdging of the income tax for it is admitted on all sides that Uncle sam is getting mulct of his pound of flesh to the extent of mill lions annually.
 Nobody knows what income tax his neighbor pays. Evasion is easy. Human nature apparently won't be curbed when it comes ito paying taxes.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
x fi,, "esns Law:.

The first game law" for the proteo lion Of wild animals and birds was enacted ia 10ss by William the Con. qacrof. This decree of the Norman hing was called forest law. but its principal purpose was the preserva. Ion of game. Forfeiture of property was made penalty tor killing or disr sbling any kind of wilt beast. while the slayer of a stag, buck or boar. If convicted: had his eyes put out These laws, of course, applied only to the masses, since the royslty and no hility were permitted to kill as much as they pleased in fact, the princj pal purpose of the pidneer game law was to provide sport for the few. Tho nrst parliamentary game law In Eng lend was passed in l496. Game laws ln America have bec4ms increasingly strict of latc years, but theY were adopted too late to save many speciea. notably tho buffalo. from almost com Dlots extinction.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
.-rhe Seven SeaA~

The phase "The Seven Seas" has been current for some time-was SO current when Kip)ing universalized IL nearly twenty years ago--to denote all the great waters of the earth. It's use divides Into seven parts the "triparAte ocean (the Atlantic. Pacific, and ln' dian oceansl as the North and South Atlantic. the North and South Pacific. .he Indian. the Arctic. aud the An 4arctic oceans. It Is interesting to oote that Roman. Italy had its "seven seas." the chain Of salt lagoons about the mouth of the Pc. separated from the Adriatic by strips OK sand or em tank,nents. Tho lagoons were In m eient days much more extensive than now, and the "Septem Maria" afforded continuous means of internal navS gS.ion tvcm Rav@nns to Altiuuu.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

in the advance. If Al,heimsr were taken, it would be of little more Cd vantage than merely taking trenches.
 That is why the fighting in Elan ders must be so unsatisfactory to b tn sides: To the Germans because the allied armies arc enabled to gain trenches to some extent, and to the allied armies because more of greater consequence is not wen when weighed with ihe terrific cost in men.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
THE BATTLEFIELD AROUND
 PINE BLUFF.

Fighting in Flanders can be illus trated pointedly by imagining the bat tie line were in this neck of the woods.
 Suppose that between Pine Bluil and Little Rock the two armies were opposing each other.
 From this perspective One Car easily see that capturing few trenches at loss Of thousands oi lives wouldn't make, much difference
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

Tha average lcvee of, the average river town is nothing 10 be proud of. But saf late years towns on rivers have begun to spruce up bit and make some use of their advantages. Winona, Minn., has transformed an ge!sltraetite ssp!ysaraae4i river front into a well |executed park. It certainly is a good Elopker. judging by a pictnrs in, The American City" Winona will never be sorry. z+- --
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
COURSE OF THE U. 5,
 IN THE ROCKING CASE
Ii Vessel Seized Under Order in Council, PeremptOry Demand for
 Release to be Made.

Washington, Nov. 6.-The Unitel States will demand peremptorily the release iof the American steamship Hooking, if Sir Edward Grey, in his reply to the United States, admits that the seizure was made under any order in council or municipal law of Great Britain.
 If the reply of the British foresgn offica, however, sets. up the claim the ownership of the vessel was not wholly American, the United States will discuss the point with Great Britain as question of fact.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
Protection scr Canary.

Canaries kept Ia cages arc apt b get minute rod insect in the feath. CTS. especially under the wings; when such is the case. the bird should have . little insect powder sprfnkled under the wing. and the cage should bs scalded out, and dried thoroughly in the sun. or before tho Ire. A small bag of sulphur should be hung 2p lS aids the top of the cagA
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

Now Henry Ford comes to bat witl q scheme to send fifty pf his best em- ployes to Valparaiso university ''te give them an education." Would havt thought that the ''best" employees al ready had made gocd without the education.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
Curiosity for Mother to See.

After mother had laid a steak on . hissing hot pan and the air became too thick for comfort, little Marcia re. treated to a safer distance, and as the sputtering did not diminish. her sense Of caution finally sent her into the pantry. From this vantage ground fascinated brown eyes peered forth at the volcanic action on the stove. Find ing voice at last. the little one piped. "Look. look. mother. ct the greass dust In the air
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
Arc You Too FatS
Curious Old Carving Cleaned.

The famous White Horse on Graham hill, Wiltshire, England one of the wellknown figures cut out in chalk and familiar to travellers from London to the west of England, has undergone . thorough securing process. The cost has been borne by Nigel Gresley. descendant of head master of Marl. sorough school, the boys of which cut out the chalk no years ago.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
CALLS SPECIAL ELECTION.
Governor Sets December as Date for Choosing Fifth Circuit
 Judge.

Lit le Rock, Nov Ex-Governor Hays issued q proclamation Friday evening calling special election in the Fifth judicial circuit for the elec- ton of a circuit judge, on December 4 to fill the uneXpired term of Judge Jesse M. Martin, deceased. Upon the death of Judge Martin, of Russell vile, Judge Marc:llus M. Davis of Dardanelle was appointed. A prl- mary was then held and A. B. Priddy .Of Danville was nominated for the place. The circuit is composed of the counties of Popa. Yell, Johnson and Conway.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

Drivers of wagons that hook tnelr vehicles at right angles to the curb sesm to have "Run Into Me- signs at tached to the back wheels.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
"HOBO" GETS JOB

Green Brier, Tenn, Jan. 2, 1915. Hobo Medicine Mfg. Co.,,
 Singer, La. ->.z. Gentlemen:-
 I have used your HOBO KIDNEY AND BLADDER REMEDY for kidney disease from which I had suffered for long time. I could not sleep at night. I found no cure until I be- gun to take Hobo Medicine. After taking one and one-half bottles of the medicine I am perfectly we'll, and cheerfully recommend this remedy for Kidney and Bladder ailments.
 Yours truly, (Signed) JOE COOK. All druggists.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
.-O&O.

Note that Mrs. Galt, widow of d Washington. jeweler, went to New York sMiih the president to buy a diamond ring. Getting it frem her own showcases probably woulln have bsen as sweet
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
Fiped for Fighting.

M M Mcknight and Alvin Burford. negroes, were fined $5 each yester- day morning by Police Judge J. R.. Stewart, after trial on a charge Of fighting They paid their fines.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
Telephones. Business and Circulation Depts.----1 News and Editorial Rooms---------8'

The Graphic gladly publishes f7ea of charge notices for churches, soci- cites, fraternal organizations and clubs when the events are not intend ed as money makers. If there is at tempt at profit-taking, notices of the events are advertisements, and will be charged for accordingly.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

Cotton futures may take a tempo rary tumble occasionally, but this will hardly alarm the farmer who has cotton to sell.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

Mir. Bryan says he is going to stay ir politics, but not in office. In other words. he's in the fix of the average citizen not in office.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07
Circuit Court Tuesday.

'ssThe trial of civil suits will be taken
 uphn the circuit court Tuesday, there being S9 cases set for, trial between Tuesday and December 2!e2a2# %E ses.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

By the way, what's become of the hoop skirt, that thing that was "going iao take the country by storm
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

It is true that you will be dead q long time, but you won't regret II.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1915-11-07

For the love of Mike, why are corset ads always so attractive?