The Oskaloosa herald., 1915-03-11


his feet up on the desk making laws
for us, and | suppose we viii have to
send our cards up to their room be-
fore We call on them, hut do not be-
lieve ! will go"
Whew!
"becaGse if we did we might be in
vited to go and eat with them and
what a sight we would present with
that old plume of hers falling over
in front and dipping in the soup every
time she took sWig, and John eating
pie with his knife, no not for me |
would rather blow our last cent for
meal at the oyster house and do with
out anything on the way home and
live on salt-pork and parsnips for the
next two weeks and did you ever hear
of that story about the jitney bus
man who died and went up to st.
Peter at the gates along with a lot
of other fellows one OF whom was a
printer and St. Peter said to the
printer you have been associated
with your devil | know for a long
time and have always kept little
go down and stay awhile to get
taste of the real thing and then when
the picture show man came along
they made him confess that his films
of the wildS of Africa were made III
Chicago and he had to have bath
also to take the cuss off his soul, and
so on with the whole crowd until the
jitney bus driver limped into the
| limelight and st. Peter asked him
where he came from and he said San
! Francisco and st. Peter asked him
what he had been doing to keep out
of the poor house and the man said
driving a jitney bus and st. Peter
asked him how long he had been driv-
| ing it and he said about two omnths
and then st. Peter asked him what
kind of a machine it was and the man
said a Ford and st. Peter said go
right in and take a cushioned seat
where you may be happy as YOU have
had hell enough already and | think
st. Peter was right after our expert
ence this evening, and when we get
hcme we will
What's that? Time to get up!
Gracious | did not suppose it was
morning already.
It's a happy provision Of Providence
that everybody's ideas on having n
: good time are not alike. Ii they wera
some places would be jammed like
the opening night of a ten, twenty,
thirt. special engagement OF week
stand with an entire change OF pro
gram each nightRnThen there would
be other places as scarcely populat-
ed as the ordinary church is on q
cold Sunday morning. And having a
good time, sometimes bears no re.a.
ton to being good. Ordinarily it
means breaking away from regular
habits, bali game, picnic, hurrah
or any kind of a pleasure "eXertiOn.
All goes we'll if nothing goes to eX
cess. Mos evil comes from OVERRIDING
a good thing. A life of industry, bust
ness of any kind. or even Of piety
needs diversity To- maintain en,LLs
iaom. Without recreation life be
comes prosaic and rheumatism thriv
eS in the Shoulder blades.
With this preamble, The Rousta,
!
ty-One resolutions OF coincidence for
the people who have to stay at home
Wnile he Sleeps three successive
nights in one OF Mr.. Pullman's beds,
/ doubled up like a jackkniGe, and tells
the unfortunate" left behind what
a fine time he is having. And what Il
Hot of politics one can absorb if he
, is a good listener. In fact if he tries to
. hold all he picks up around the de
! pots and on trains he soon gets into
bad way, and it is sure to break
out to save his gray matter, just as
nature brings out The measles or Che
small poX to relieve the system of all
over dose of germinal poison.
- - -
The wheel of fortune carried us
through Des Moines. 1t was dark
when we got there and still dark
when we left but the politician III
Des Moines never sleeps, especially
while the legislature is in session.
And he told us confidently that the
man,-meaning an ordinary human
being of mature years should never
seek the Office The office should sit
/ up nights, go without warm meals
and make last seasons tires do an.
other year in seeking the man. But
he also admitted that as things are
yet constituted, and unless they are
changed by the present legislature
! the office that seeks the man is in
Isuch demand that there is fierce com
petition for it, and great embarras
ment for the Statesman who is called
upon to decide from among his hon
orable constituents who shall have
the plum. Finally one is pleased with
the reward and nineteen others start
the grind-stone to get their axes
ready for the Statesman, when the
announcement Is made that hosts of
friends have asked him to stand for
reelection. and confidentially the pol
,itician admitted to me,-not for publ
cation, of course, that when the Of
flee really seeks the man it is usually
a man VINO can fill it, while when the
man seeks the Office there is likely to
be square plug in a round hole. And
mark this further confession, The
inefticiency which worries the govern.
ment and annoys the public is due to
the number holding Office instead of
filling them"