Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1915-02-11
CHRISTOPHER
sy HOWARD DWIGHT SMILEY.
(Copyr,ght)

(Copyright)
Smith and ! drove back from town
one day and found Baeley. sitting ON
the piazza, holding q big grasshopper
between his forefineer and thumb and
looking speculative.
Friends" says he. did you ever
stop to think OF the vast possibilities
based on the construction OF these
little insects7"
1--WE observed the vast results,
based on the destruction Of things
vegetable and otherwise by those lit
tie insects, n that 10 what you mean"
answered Smith.
Which it ain't.s replied Bag.
"What ! mean is. supposing that this
grasshopper was M large as a horse
and as strong in proportion, Just think
Of the terrific speed that could be OBJ
tanned from such o creature: why,
mounted on such q beast, one could
5utdistance the fastest locomotive I'm
the WORLD. The idea 10 wonderful.
friends, wonderful"
william" says Smith TO me sor.
rowfully, he wants to cross O grass
hopper with horse and ride the re-
suit. That 10 the limit. VIII You
throw him down and sit on him while
ride to town and wire the asylum
to send attendants out after him? It's
an awful way TO use q partner. but O
man amt safe running at large with
Sach ideas as that In his head"
That's just the way" growled Bag.
This Ii what comes Of q man Of
brains associating with such ditch dig.
gers as you two You can 60 to blazes,
and ] win prove the Possibilities Of
my idea IL II takes every cent I've
got" And on he went, mad az q
wet cat
Later In the day Smith and I drove
down and found ont from the ticket
agent that he had purchased n ticket
to St Louis. He had informed the
agent that he might be gone for sew.
eral weeks. and that was all we could
learn as to his whereabouts and In
tentions.
II was a month before Bag returned.
He came down the road one day I'm
the lead OF q dozen wagons, loaded
with lumber and q lot OF packing
boxes; with him were several carpen.
ters and slim. cadaverous man.
They unloaded the wagons down
back OF the barn, and Bag immediate
ly put the carpenters to work build.
ing what turned out to be o shedlike
structure. about sixty by forty feet
square. When this was finished the
packing boxes were moved inside. and
Bag and the slim fellow got busy.
Another month rolled by. and then,
one day, the big front doors of the
shop were thrown open and out of Il
crawled an object that caused the top
OF my head to give q 1rstclass imita-
ton OF cat ON q fenee-post talking
TO q dog.
II was ali Of twenty-five feet long.
with eyes two feet wide. and Il looked
SO natural that I honestly thought Il
was alive.
Waddling into the front yard, Il
stopped. A little door I'm its side
opened and Bag stuck his head out.
Are you gentlemen still Of the opin.
Ion that am a fit subject for an In
sane asylum" he inquired sarcastic.
ally.
Bag didn't wait for us to reply, but
closed the door. and q moment later
the grasshopper gathered its legs un.
der IL and jumped.
II rose into the air as gracefully az
O bird, and shot or across the fields
like bullet.
When Il lit Il was a mile away; Il
Immediately rose again, and I'm six
jumps disappeared below the horizon.
Pretty soon Il came sailing back,
about two miles to the south of US,
and disappeared In the east. For an
hour we watched it come and 60 from
all directions. until finally It came
shooting back from the direction In
which 1t first started and. landing
squarely In front OF the shop door.
crawled In.
Bag was the kappiest man alive. He
had forgotten all about his crouch.
Friends" says he. ALLOW me to In
aroduce you to Prof. Albertus Ether
idge. the foremost scientist and In
ventor in these United States or any
other country.
'It Ia with his assistance that have
succeeded In perfecsing this most won
derful achievement OF human genius:
Bagiey's Automatic Grasshopper and
Marine Waterbug!"
TITS wonderful, Bag," says I hum.
bly,. What's 1t made of"
Aluminium" he answered. Built
in exact proportion 10 the ordinary
grasshopper. even to weight and
strength; propelled by q ten thousand
horsepower engine, invention OF the
professors. With one barrel Of gaso-
line we can encompass the earth"
While he was talking n crowd OF
about nifty very excited farmers,
armed with shotguns. horse-pistols and
pitchforks, came galloping up.
did you see emf" they yelled.
See what?" answered Bag. What's
the matter with you folks?"
"Grasshoppers!" answered one.
"Grasshoppers as big as barnsi They
are loose In Kansas! We must run
'em down and kin 'em. or they'll ruin
us ALI They are eatin' up cows and
horses and everything! Get your gums
and come oni"
Welt" said Bag. IL they're calcu.
iating to exterminate that grasshop
per with horses and shotguns. they're
going to be highly disappointed
There amt thing that moves on legs,
wheels. or wings that can catch my
machine
Next morning We prepared to take
another trip. for Smith and were lust
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