Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1915-11-25

CT applause from your" inquired the
Stenographer.
The evidence at the murder trial
showed that he was married to a wife
who was a human terror, and that he
could not go to his daily work without
having her put him on the rack on his
return and drag out every trivial thing
that had happened during the day." re-
piled the Bookkeeper. He testified that
the minute he put his foot on the door
mat she'd begin a regular catechsm that
would go like this:
What girls have you seen todayY
Who were they?'
Were they pretty7
DO you think they are as good look
ing as am?
Would you marry one Of them II
died?'
Would you commit suicide il died?'
IF you married again after 1 died
would you love your second wife as
much as you do me?"
The poor simp," murmured the Stem
ographer alphabetically.
WELL" continued the Bookkeeper, the
unfortunate fellow stood it as long as he
could. He even did the best he could by
trying to reply in a way that would
please her, but he never could guess the
answer right. No matter which way he
lied it was the key for wiley to go into
Mysteries and so one day he ended the
domestic civil service examination by
taking his gun and blowing off the lid
OF the question: box. 1t was a funeral for
wiley alright when he got through an
swering her last kind inquiries
That was no way to treat lady" said
the Stenographer, "but I am willing to
Hroff lanA
ne was headliner.
And vet they hanged him for IT,"
borrowed the Bookkeeper. 81 wonder why
the poor gink didn't demand his consti-
tutional rights to be tried by jury OF
his peers-a jury of married men, for
I'm wise that no married man would
have brought In that verdict
DO you know what drives a man to
drink? It's when he gets home at night
tired and worn. and hungry. and nerve
racked to have his wife begin to put him
through the third degree before he gets
his hat, off.
you know how she tears it off: Where
have you been? WHERE have you been?
Where HAVE you been? Where have
YOU beenf Where have you BEENY'
1.-THE wonder is to me is that this
woman in the west is the first one that's
gotten murdered Tor IT.
"Oh, 7 don't know" replied the Steno-
Erapher. when II comes to wanting to
know where the partner of your bosom
has been. women are not the only inter-
rogation points. There are others, but
the trouble is that men don't have TO
answer unless they want to, but a woman
has to be always ready to prove an alibi.
But you are all to the good when you
say that women's curiosity is forever
getting them in trouble. Lots wife isn't
the only fresh lady who has been turned
into pillar of salt by looking back at
the wrong time and seeing what she was
never intended TO see. There are plenty
of other women who could have been
packed down in brine In the tears they
have shed over the things they had no
business peeking into.
And the questions women ask their
husbands look as II they had bats In
their belfries. don't they? II man
meets sweller looking doll than his
wife Is. what does she want to know II
for? And what makes her ask him such
a fool question as whether he will marry
again OF not II she diesI II he is a
gentleman he is bound TO lie to her..
''.rhe less we know the less we have
10 worry about" observed the Boot
keeper, sententiously.
THAT'S the idea" agreed the Steno-
'--rrapher, 'curiosity for the single,
creduIity for the married Before a
woman IL married, she should investigate
n man with search warrant and
spot light After she is married she
should wear binders"
"Right-o." said the Bookkeeper'