The Washington herald., 1915-12-20

4
| would not be a good thing to have
two clubs. one Tor mothers and the
other for daughters. for although most
of my letters are from mothers asking
help In the solution of their problems.
| almost every mail now brings me re-
quests from daughters to aid them In
| adjusting relations between them ana
their mothers. My sympathy goes OUT
| oh. SO tenderly. to these dear daugh-
| ters who are striving to ft the new
order to the old. because. after all.
they are at a disadvantage In the
| struggle: mothers. you see. have the
prior right to dictate conditions. and.
nine times out of ten. in a contest OF
| ideas the daughter has to yield to
| the mothers will. II every mother
| were as sensible as some j know IN
realizing "the old order changeth.
and were willing to meet halfway
the ideas of the daughter who has be-
gun to see the world as II affects her
life, there would be less conflict than
there is between the old and the
young.
One of my recent letters was from
a dear girl in the West who is trying
very hard to do her home duty as she
sees IL, but seems to be hopelessly
una BILE to fit herself to her mothers
point Of view. 7 will let her tell you
:he story in her own words. She
writes:
"Dcar Aunt Chstty: know your
talks are for mothers. but they seem
l-so helpful that am sure you Will be
able to give some good advice to us
daughters. too. who have problems to
solve in living our lives at home with
our mothers. I am through school. am
about nineteen years old. and have
come home to stay. We live on small
farm lust out from a nice big town.
and of course there is a great deal OF
work to do. My father and mother are
growing old and neither OF them IS
very strong ] want to do all 1 can
to make 1t easier for them and would
~ were allowed to 60 ahead But
I can do nothing my own way. and
YOU know. Aunt Chatty. that is very
discouraging. AS part OF my educa-
tion I had three terms at good do
mestic science school. and I would like
to nut into practice some of the things
I learned there. but mother insists
that am extravagapt in she use OF
materials and fuses And scolds about
n all the time l an quick tempered
and I an afraid I do not always speak
f,-sier q, kindly ssy1 should when she
has found .fnI1ts with me. but what
can be done about IL I work and
she fusses, and II has to he done over
again SO often that get discour-
aged The worst of 1t is love my
music and want to go on with my
piano lessons. but the lack of system
in doing my work takes the time
might give to practicing. Sometimes
think would like to go away from
home and get away from It all. but
that would make 1t too hard for my
dear father and mother. so I just stay
right on. though I am afraid none of
US Is happy. Can you suggest some
way out Of the tangle?"
really believe this is a case for
the training Of a mother-you know
I always insist that motherhood is the
best means in the world for self-dis-
ciplfne. This dear girl wants to ad-
just herself. but she is not able to
do so because her mothers very nat
ural dislike to seeing other methods
than her own used In the household
prevents the daughter from trying out
her ideas. We all naturally think our
ways are the best and 1t Is very hard
for a mother to realize that the child
she has reared and taught and direct
ed for SO many years can have learned
to do things in a better way than she
herself knows. Nor is 1t easy for us
to believe that new ways may be bet
ter than the old. But they often are.
and the mother who keeps up-to-date
is the mother who retains the love and
sympathy and friendship of her daugh-
ters her life through.
But. you see. I am lecturing the
mother, from long habit. suppose. in
stead Of replying to this dear girl who
has appealed to me for advice. What
I want to say to her Is that think
in her case / should go to my mother
and have a frank talk with her. Tell
her., my dear. that you love her and
want to help her. That will soothe
her feelings. which have probably been
hurt by the friction between you
which she cannot quite understand.
Then ask her to divide the work of
the household between you, giving you
the cooking and management Of the
kitchen. k you like that part. but