davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fair play., 1915-11-13
OFFICER REALLY TO BLAME
Husband That Woman Simply
Could Not Stop Scoldine.

A woman from the pineland belt,
who had seen a railroad only once,
and who had ridden ir to Atlanta's
Decatur street on her husbands wag-
on, was arrested for talking back to
an officer of the law.
She Jabbered steadily for half
hour, when | told her she must not
stand so long, squarely in the middle
of the street." explained the officer
who had made the arrest. Il couldn't
even get word in edgewise. 1t was
the most awful CAB | ever heard"
Turning to the prisoner the judge
said:
What have you to lay for yourself.
madam"
Couldn't hep 1t, jedge," responded
the offender, tried fo' ter shet up
but tn officer looked so much like my
husban jes' couldn't find tn heart Z
stop!"-Case and Comment.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
MORE THAN HE COULD STAND
Prospective Husband Resented What
He Considered UnealIed-For Al
iusion to His Lack Of Hair.

He was a bachelor, as bald as bill
lizard ball, and fifty.
She was a widow-fair, fat and for
dy.
lie had been lifelong friend of her
late husband, Robin Macarty, and this
might he was to offer her his hand
and heart.
She Enew it, and her soul went out
IN song; so in the twilight she seated
herself at the piano and sang to him
chat dear old song, Robin Adair.
winding up with "Ro-o-ob-in Ad.
air"
Gently he rose from his seat, and, IS
he reached for his hat said:
Madam, is there any necessity to
remind me of the fact? | know 1t.
Robin did have hair; shall never for.
get his curly locks. But why taunt
me with it?'
And thus two lives were blighted!
Fair play., 1915-11-13
zeppelins or Spiders?

A story s told of young French
woman who observed with punctilous.
ness the wartime precautions ordered
by the police.
She kept the shutters closed at
nightfall and the curtains pulled down,
so that not a speck of light would es-
cape from her apartments. But one
night, when reading the newspaper,
she said that she had reached the
limit
The newspapers said that if TIE
Zeppelins came all persons must go
into the cellars. She told her friends
she would not go down into the cellar.
Il do not care a fig for the Yep
pelins," she said. 1T is no use ask
ing me. will not go down into the
cellar"
But why?" asked her friend. BE
cause" she replied, Il am afraid of
spiders"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Coal Miners Dilemma,

A new regulation in certain coal
mine required that each man mark
with chalk the number on every car
of coal mined.
One man named Rudolph. having
filled the eleventh car, marked it with
a No. and, after pondering a wwhile,
let it go at that.
Another miner, happening to notice
what he thought was a mistake, called
Rudolph's attention to the fact that
he had marked the car No. l instead
of II.
Yes, know" said Rudolph: but |
can't tink which side de odder wan go
on. n."-Everybody's Magazine.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Most Eminent Medical Authorities Endorse 1t
New Remedy for Kidney, Bladder Uric Acid Trouble

Dr. Eberle and DR.. Braithwaite as
well as DR.. Simon-all distinguished
Authors-agree that whatever may be
the disease, the urine seldom fails in
furnishing us with a clue to the princi.
pies upon which it is to be treated,
and accurate knowledge concerning
the nature of disease can thus be OBJ
tained If backache. scalding urine or
frequent urination bother or distress
you, or If uric acid in the blood has
caused rheumatism. gout or sciatica
or you suspect kidney or bladder
trouble Just write DR.. Pierce at the
Surgical Institute, Buffalo, N. Y; send
a sample of urine and describe symp-
toms. You will receive free medical
advice after DR.. Pierce's chemist has
examined the urine-this will be care.
fully done without charge and you
will be under no obligation. DR.. Pierce
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Rouah on the Doc,

Here Is another way of wheedlug a
toe tender-hearted public out OF the
living you are too lazy to work for.
This is the trick; a shabbily dressed
man, with clever dog as a confed.
crate. strolls along a crowded street
and tosses into the gutter a piece OF
stale bread The next minute you see
Joth the man and the dog rolling in
the dirt and apparently lighting say.
age.y for possession OF the bread. rae
crowd that assemblies showers small
coins upon the supposed starving man.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
No Worse

Say, old man. lend me ten dollars.
will you?"
why should 1? You'd only buy
whisky with it"
What If l do? You subscribed to
the war loan, didn't you?"
Il don't see what that's got to do
with it."
DO you think it's any worse to
lend me money to buy whisky with
than to lehd money to the allies to
spend on guns and ammunition?"-
New York World.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
What Really happened.

Then out spake Spurius Lartius-
a Ramnian proud was he. "Lo. will
stand on thy right hand and keep the
bridge with thee"
stand on my right hand?" pessi-
mistically .epeated Horatius. mot ii
| know it! already have an ele.
phant on my hands in the person of a
shuckless brother-in-law who invited
himself to dinner eight years ago and
has been at my house ever since!"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
lor illustrated Book of the Eye Free.
PIanninu.

Can you tell me where l can buy
a small flock of moths?"
Moths? What in the world do you
want with a flock of moths?"
We'll, you see, need a new over
coat, and unless l sick some moths on
my old one and make it look perfectly
disgraceful my wife will make me
wear it another winter"
Fair play., 1915-11-13

during many years of experimentation
has discovered a new remedy which
is thirty-seven times more powerful
than lithia in removing uric acid from
the system. II you are suffering from
backache or the pains of rheumatism,
go to your best druggist and ask for
a 80 cent box of "Anuric" put up by
Doctor Pierce, or send 10c for large
trial pck'g. DIR. Pierces Favorite Pre-
scription for weak women and DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
for the blood have been favorably
known for the past forty years and
more. They are standard remedies
to-day-as we'll as Doctor Plerce's
Pleasant Pellets for the liver and
bowels. You can have n sample OF any
one of these remedies by writing DR..
Pierce, and sending 1Oc for trial pack
age.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Patient RhsInnatinn

Can't you persuade your husband
to. work."
II s'pOse | could" replied the weary
looking woman. But he couldu I
work to suit anybody. | might as we'll
keep him home and tind fault with MIN
myself as turn him over to strangers.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Lucky Break.

Are you satisfied with your SON 8
progress in his studies at college"
Yes, he's doing very well, but he
doesn't deserve any credit for it. He
broke his arm in football practice the
first week he was there, and since that
time he hasn't been able to do any
thing but study"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Same, but Different,

Summer Vistor-Are old Stegbauer
and Schattiebner still carrying on that
everlasting lawsuit of theirs about the
boundary?
Native-Not those two any longer.
hut the lawyers are.
Summer Visitor-How is that?
Native Oh, the farm belongs to
them nOw.-Meggendorfer Blatter.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Irish LANGUAGE.

The natural language" of the Irish
man is the Gaelic, the old Celtic
tongue, which is still spoken. to Ger.
tain extent, in Ireland, Wales. the
highlands of Scotland and northern
France, where the remnants of the
Celts are still dwelling.
Fair play., 1915-11-13

who sheds copious tears of gratitude
The dog gets lost in the shuttle. but
soon rejoins MS owner and the two re-.
peat the performance as often as may
be necessary.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Contrast.

Aunt-'Your bride. my dear bow. is
wealthy and all that, but don't thipk
she II make much of beauty show at
the altar. Nephew-"You don't. Ell?
Just wait till you see her with the
bridesmaids she has selected.
ton Transcript.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Final DUTY.

The Umpire-Your men are all out
OF action; you've been shot over and
over again.
Platoon Commander-The we may
as well eat our lunch, sir.-London
Opinion.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
To Drive Out Malaria
And Build I'm The system

Take the Old Standard GROVE S
TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know
what you are taking, as the formula is
printed on every label, showing it is
Quinine and Iron in tasteless form. The
Quinine drives out malaria. the Iron
builds up the system. SO cents. ADV.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
SOAP IS STRONGLY ALKALINE

and constant use will burn out the
scalp. Cleanse the scalp by shampoo
ing with La Creole" Hair Dressing.
and darken, in the natural way, those
ugly, grizzly hairs. Price. $l.00.-Adv.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
BABY LOVES HIS BATH
With cuticura Soap Because So sooth-
ing When His skin Is Hot.

These fragrant supercreamy emol.
lients are a comfort to children. The
Soap to cleanse and purify, the Oint-
ment to soothe and heal rashes, itch
ings, chatings, etc. Nothing more ef-
fective. May be used from the hour
of birth, with absolute confidence.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept, KY.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Timely Adviee

Take keer, nah frens." said the
preacher solemnly; take keer dat
when de time comes to shuttle off dis
hyah rno'tal coil, you doan git los in
Ia shLb.e. Puck
Fair play., 1915-11-13
No Enthusiast.

Il persuaded my husband to attend
symphony concert yesterday"
Did he enjoy it?"
Not very much. He said the ap-
plause disturbed his slumbers."
Fair play., 1915-11-13
His Feast.

THAT stage manager in increasing
the pay of the chorus is doing some
thing of an agricultural nature"
In what way?"
Isn't he raising chickens?"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
COVETED BY ALL

but possessed by few-a beautiful
head OF hair. II yours is streaked with
gray. or is harsh and stiff. you can re.
store It to it's former beauty and lus.
ter by using La Creole" Hair Dress.
Ing. Price s1.00.-Adv.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
A Possible Meaning,

What is the meaning of this phrase,
the higher the fewer?'"
ut may allude to the oysters in a
stew. w."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Some Glass.

Where did you get all the second.
hand furniture, old man."
Those things are not secondhand.
They're genuine antiques"
Fair play., 1915-11-13

There is always room at the top for
aeroplanes-and room at the bottom
for submarines.
Fair play., 1915-11-13

Mollie-How do you recognize a
gentleman in a crowded car?
Dollie-By his general get up
Fair play., 1915-11-13
And Frequently Does,

zone can't know too much"
mo. but one can say too much."-
Boston Transcript.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Proof of Wisdom.

If man be gracious and courteous
to strangers it shows he is a citizen
of the world, and that his heart is no
island cut off from other lands, but q
continent that joins to them.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Wall Named

What did that clustering fellow
want?"
That was Gale. He just blew in to
raise the wind"
Fair play., 1915-11-13

You can blind men by throwing
gold-dust in their eyes.
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Ignorance Is Bliss.

whats the matter?"
my wife says | don't know how to
handle the baby"
Il wouldn't get miffed over that.
son." said the older man. Take my
advice and don't learn"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Nos Gray Hair. but Fired Eyes

make US look older than we are. Keep your
Eyes young and you will look young. After
tbe Movies always Murine Your Eyes
Don't tell your age
Fair play., 1915-11-13

Even If you do ride a hobby you are
not the only Jockey in the race.
Fair play., 1915-11-13

The smaller the town. the more i'm.
portant an egg with two yolks be-
comes
Fair play., 1915-11-13

Even the watch man keeps on his
tongue is apt to run down occasion.
ally
Fair play., 1915-11-13

WoMAN's GROWING GLORY
is her hair. II yours is streaked with
ugly, grizzly, gray hairs. use La Gre
OLE Hair Dressing and change il in
the natural way. Price sl.OO.-Ady.
Fair play., 1915-11-13

Many man gets his back up like a
camel and roars like lion.
Fair play., 1915-11-13

There is still some criticism of Noah
based on the fact that he took too
house flies into the ark
Fair play., 1915-11-13
THIS is THE AGE OF YOUTH.

You will look ten years younger if you
darken your ugly, grizzly, gray hairs by
using La Creole" Hair Dressing ADV.
Fair play., 1915-11-13

Miss Prettyface has such straight
back"
Yes, and such a false front"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
Necessary,

They're putting on my new play
at the Pifiie theater next week"
you don't say sol Have you ar
ranged TOR an audience?"
Fair play., 1915-11-13
What Did She Mean2

He-l am going to kiss you when
go
She-Leave this house at once, sir!
Fair play., 1915-11-13

1T has been American policy time
out of mind to look to the navy as
the first and chief line of defense.
The navy of the United States is al
ready very great and efficient force
Not rapidly, but slowly, with careful
attention, our naval force has been
developed until the navy of the United
States stands recognized as one of the
most efficient and notable of the mod.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
Death Of r. .. SeeIy.

Platteville Witness: Rufus D. Seely,
aged "a years, son of David j. Seely
and Sophia Shattuck Seely, was born in
the town of Elk Grove, Lafayette
county, Wis, May II, 1841, and died
at his home in this city Wednesday
morning, May IL, after an illness OF
about year and half. Mr.. Seely was
married Sept. 8, 1852.
The following children survive him
Edward g.. Seely, of Reliance, S. Oak.
Mrs. Katharine Phillips, of Mineral
Point, Wis.,; Miss Dell Seely, at home
Lewis D. Seely, of Platteville; Charles
M. Seely, of Rockford. ILL.,, and Mrs
Maylou Gould. of Seattle, Wash. Also
seven grandchildren.
Mrs. Seely and one daughter Eleanor
E. Seely, and two sons, who died in
infancy, preceded him in death.
Mr.. Seely lived on the old David J
Seely homestead until his removal tc
this city about fourteen years ago.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
CHEMISTRY ABOL|SHES
WORK WITH THE HOE
Weeds Killed by Arsenic and
Much Labor Is Saved.

Washington.-Ofic Of the depart.
ment OF agriculture are greatly inter.
ested in reports received from Hawaii
to the effect that one of the big sugar
companies has adopted as a regular
field practice the system Of destroying
weeds by use Of an arsenic poison
spray instead Of by hoeing.
Experts who have conducted expert
ments on Hawaii sugar lands estimate
that by the spraying method saving
can be made in labor OF $15 to $50
per acre per annum.
The latest developments along this
line in Hawaii are discussed in a let
director Of the experiment station staff
Of the Hawaiian Sugar Planters asso-
citation. Before going to Hawaii Pro
fessor Agee co-operated with the de-
partment in experiments on Louisiana
sugar land.
The value Of this method in Hawaii
is very great, because Of the fact that,
like most tropical regions, the islands
are subject to torrential rains. The
less the surface of sugar and other
lands is disturbed by cultivation the
less chance there is that heavy rains
will wash off the top soil or immedi-
ately beat it into compact form.
A few years ago the department OF
agriculture issued a bulletin dealing
with the weed factor in the cultivation
of corn, following a series Of expert,
ments extending over several years.
which apparently established the prin.
ciple that it is the removal Of the
weeds rather than the cultivation prop
er that contributes most to the pro-
duction of the corn crop. A series OF
125 experiments were conducted, COW
ering many states. On some plots the
most approved methods of cultivation
were employed, while on other plots
there was no cultivation whatever, the
weeds being eliminated by surface
scraping with hoe.
A general average of all these ex.
periments showed that the plots that
were simply weeded produced 95.1 per
cent as much fodder and 99.1O8 per
cent as much grain as those that were
subjected to the most approved meth.
odS of cultivation.
The arsenic spray method will be
given a trial on corn land in Louisiana
this year by. experts of the Office OF
farm management in cooperation with
local authorities, with view to de
termining whether it is not available
for use in that region, where climatic
conditions to some extent approach
those in Hawaii
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
SCHOOL EXHIBIT
High School Building, Friday and
Saturday.

Next Friday and Saturday there will
be an Exhibit of Public School work at
the High School building. This is not
in the nature of show. but will con-
sist of samples of work done in the
various lines of school activity since
last Septemb Der. Note books, copy
books. spelling tablets, compositions.
etc., will constitute large part of the
exhibit.
The special departments of Manual
Training and Domestic Science will
have more complete exhibit of arti-
cles made. All parents and others
interested in school work are invited
to be present at any time to suit their
convenience during Friday or Saturday
forenoon. The exhibit will be in the
two South Rooms of the first floor of
the High School building. Some one
will be in charge during the day Fri
day. Everybody is cordially invited.
E. G. GOTHAM.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
WILD JOY RIDERS
Endanger Lives on the Highway
and Run their Car Into Ditch.

A wild joy ride ended suddenly last
Thursday evening when big Mitchell
car, with four occupants landed in a
ditch on Iowa street, short distance
north of High street. Thomas Ryan of
Hollandale was driving the car. The
right front wheel, striking against the
sidewalk, was broken off. Shortly after
five o'clock Ryan and three companions,
all seemingly under the influence OF
liquor. INDUCED in a wild ride about
town, to the terror of all in their way.
They continued their ride out north OF
town on the Dodgeville road. Return
ing they came down Iowa street towards
High street, in most reckless manner
and at a frightfull rate. Just as they
passed the residence of Colon Oke, the
machine swerved to the right and ran
into ditch and against the sidewalk.
The occupants were unhurt; but the car
remained in the ditch until Friday
morning, when it was taken away and
repaired at the Star Auto Garage.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
Mrs. John c. Roberts.

Miss Mary Ann Waters was born in
Hogan, County of Cornwall, England,
April 7, 1924. and died at her home in
Mineral Point, Wis, May IA, 1915;
aged 81 years, month and days.
December %, 1854, she was mar
ried to Mr.. John G.. Roberts, and in
May the following year the young
couple came to America and took up
their residence in Mineral Point, which
has been the home of the family ever
since.
Mr.. Roberts died July Q, 1904, and
since that time Mrs. Roberts has been
in feeble health and the infirmities OF
old agehave rendered her a prisoner in
her home. She had scarcely been out
of the house for several years. She
was the mother of five children, only
two of whom lived to attain adult age.
They are Miss Alice w. Roberts and
Mrs. Edith M. Williams, both of Min
eral Point.
For thirty years Mrs. Roberts had not
been able to attend church or go out
anywhere and her faithful daughter at
home attended her and made home her
world, and pleasant one she found it..
Mrs. Roberts died peacefully, as one,
who lies down to pleasant dreams.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
EDISON WINS HONOR MEDAL.
Forum Decorates Him as American
Who Has Done Most For Mankind.

Forum Decorates Him as American
Who Has Done Most For Mankind.
New York.-Thomas A. Edison has
been voted the American who has
done most to benefit mankind and has
received the Civic Forum medal Of
honor for distinguished public service.
This medal, established to give rec
ognition on the part Of the rank and
file Of the American people to that one
Of their countrymen who in ways Of
peace performs some signal public
service, was awarded last year for
the first time to Colonel George W.
Goethals for his work at Panama.
DR.. Nicholas Murray Butler, presi-
dent Of Columbia university, presided
at the reception, and the speakers in
cluded Guglielmo Marconi, inventor Of
the wireless telegraph; DR.. Charles P.
Steinmetz, consulting engineer Of the
General Electric company; DR.. Richard
G. Maclaurin, president of the Massa-
chusetts Institute of Technology, and
Charles A. Coffin, chairman of the
board Of directors of the General Elec-
trio company. Percy Mackaye read a
poem written for the occasion.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
NORMAL SCHOOLS
AND THEIR WORK

The Normal School Bulletin for May
contains strong article by E. G.
Gotham, Superintendent of schools,
Mineral Point. The subject is Depart
mental Organization in the Training OF
Teachers. Here is paragraph:
The Normal Schools of the state are
performing a great and noble service
They are better every decade in adapt
ing more and more their training to the
needs of the schools of the state. The
establishment of Departments, on the
basis of the age. progress, and develop
ment of the children to be taught, is in
the right direction. The demand is not
SO much for teachers of subjects as for
teachers of children.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
MET DEATH IN MINE
Ernest Miller, Respected Citizen
of MiffIin.
CRUSHED BY A LARGE ROCK
Buried With Masonic Honors Tues
day Afternoon.

Buried with Masonic r10noFS IuS9-
day Afternoon.
At about $3.50 last Saturday after
noon Ernest Miller was crushed under
a great stone in the Grunow mine at
Mifiin and received injuries from
which he died shortly afterwards. AT
a point in the side of the drift stream
of pure water poured up and this the
men used as a drinking place, keeping
a cup at hand. One man ahead OF Mr.
Miller had just taken a drink and
stepped back again, when Miller stepped
in TO get drink when great rock
toppled over him out of the wall of the
drift which had seemed to be solid and
secure. Charles Wonn and other
miners were close at hand and rushed
to his relief; but he was very badly
injured and died soon after they got
him out.
Mr.. Miller lived in the village. He
was AZ years old and leaves wife and
four children. He WAS highly respect
ed. He was past master of the Ma
sonic lodge; and he was buried on
Tuesday afternoon with Masonic honors
Ernest Miller was the underground
foreman in the Grunow mine, and was
known as very careful miner indeed
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1915-05-20
LEAD BREAKS RECORD
Increase Of 1oo, 900 Tons Of Refined
Lead Produced In 1914 Over
Previous Year.

Lead Produced In 1914 Over
Previous Year.
Lead is one of the first metals that
would naturally be associated with an
increased consumption in time of war,
and yet. the exports of lead from the
United States to Europe since the war
began have not increased in proportion
to the increase in exports Of zinc and
some other metals, and the price of
lead instead of being enhanced by the
war actually slumped in October to
the lowest point reached in the last
10 years. These and other facts are
graphically presented in the advance
statement of the production of lead
in the United States in 1914, just is
sued by the United States Geological
Survey.
The total production of refined lead
from both domestic and foreign ores
was 542, l22 short tons. compared with
462. 400 tons in 1918. The production
of refined lead from domestic ores was
512, 1914 tons, an increase Of 100,916
tons over the record figures reached in
1918. This increase was due chiefly to
gains in Missouri, about 1900 tons; in
Idaho, 10000 tons; and in Utah, $1,000
tons.
Lead was consistently higher in Lon
don in 1914 than in New York, and
this. together with the scarcity Of
Mexican lead, caused the large exports
of domestic lead.