The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-07-11
THE ELEVATOR BOY

If you were to start my career over
again l would choose the same profess
| sion that / did-manager of an elevator
Decidedly. would.
| There's fils sentiment about it.
| You cuItirat. your MINI ,.nd broaden
| your views.
| You are constantly in contact with the
\ highest strata Of society
| A millionaire never goes to lawyer
| Except to hire him to break the law.
| \ doctor is never called except in ca Sc
of sickness. and must worry then wheth-
er 1t is going TO turn cut case OF
measles or smallpox
! An editor must carry two guns and fear
assassina ton.
life insurance man is always wonder
| ing which of his insured will next blow
! down a gun to see IL II is loaded.
a banker can't sleep sound a nights
| for fear the tellers take in a coun-
| terfeit dollar bill next day.
As manager of an elevator you have
| little TO do, good pay, a dignitied attitude
and there is hardly a day passes that
some rich man doesn't die and leave you
| a legacy for picking up his eyeglasses
If there is any trouble about sky
scraper the elvator boy is bamelesS in
| the case. 1t comes from the tenants
themselves. For instance, Mr.. Flynecker
of the nth floor is one of those tenants
| who start out with the idea that he can
put his iron heel on my neck and make
a humble tool of me. One day he rung
me UP and said:
Boy: heard you asking the kid in
my office a 1T of questions and | want
to say to you that YOU are altogether too
business and trot around here very softly
| or you'll take walk
Yes. sir. said l.
Let me kid alone and let my affairs
alone. and when you hear my ring don't
daily on the way. l shall keep an eye on
you. and if | find you f0oling around.
you'll hear from me-
I hadn't said five words to his kid. and
he had no business tY talk to me like
that His sign said that he was a pro
moter." and l just asked the boy what
''promoter" was. He said that he
didn't exactly know. but he'd seen four
or five men playing cards for money. and
Mr.. Flynecker had won all the big jack
pots. l wanted to get even. of course,
and it wasn't long before three clergymen
called to ask for the Bible Society's of.
landed them on the fifth floor and pointed
to Mr. Flynecker's door. They walked
right in on poker game, with $50 on the
table, and the kid said the embarrass-
for about flve minutes. Those preachers
didn't gos away without speaking their
minds, and | was pretty sure I'd hear
from Mr. Flynecker about matters. In
about an hour he got into the elevator TO
go down, but instead of grabbing ME by
the hair he softly said:
Boy. l believe your name is Sammis.
isn't it,
And you are fatherless and wrestling
with vtuperous mortgage on the home
stead?"
That's it. sir and you don't know how
lonely and discouraged l am.
Poor boy, but cheer up. / have no
son of my own and I'll adopt YOU and
be father to YOU. Here's a dollar for
the mortgage, Sammis. and it won't be
the last. You brought those preachers
up. of course"
Yes, sir.
And wrung 'em in on me? see where
| made my mistake. and I'm sorry for it
You haven't said anything to anybody"
oh. no. sir"
We'll. you'd better let it go. If YOU
were a talker l shouldn't want to adopt
You. Just keep quiet about that and
anything else you may happen to dis
cover. and we'll have the mortgage paid
off by fall. Here's a couple of loose
quarters, Sammis. and you may also give
my love to your mother"
But shall l call YOU father"
When we are alone, Sammis-when
we are alone. In public I am Flynecker.
the promoter: in private I am your low
ing and devoted father. and it will he my
duty to cheer you up and make life
pleasant for you. On the other hand
Yes. sir. / understand. sir
Than ta-ta. Sammis, and run in soon
whenever you want the shelter of a
fathers arm.
The other afternoon as I was taking old
Mr.. Hopkins up alone in the elevator he
gave me a looking over and asked:
Your name is Sammis. isn't it,
Yes sir"
Well Sammis, there is an old bird in
room IL on the eighth floor named Fos-
dick. He hasn't got business enough to
pay his room rent, and vet he is always
advertising for a copyist or d type
writer |
Yes sir Two awfuIly spod-looking
typewriters went up there this afternoon"