davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
Worlds Debt to Humorists.

Cervantes, the great Spaniard whose
epic humor has made the lean fig
ure of half-crazed knight a synonym
for laughter and tears throughout the
world, the genius who gave the world
in Sancho Panza a comic figure SO in
tensely human that it deserves to
rank with Shakespeare's immortal Gre
alton of Sir John Falstaff, he, too, had
a sermon to preach against silly ro-
manticism and the foolish tales of
chivalrous adventures.
Go through the list. The humorist
who wrote with the mere idea of af-
fording diversion and with no thought
of deeper message Is the one whose
work soon grows obsolete. The great
artists feel the obligation of their gen.
ius. They hold a great instrument
in their hands, they use it for noble
ends and their work lives after them.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
ENGLISH VILLAGE A MODEL
About as Sinless as Is Likely to Be
Found in This Wicked Old
Abode of Men.

A sinless village has been found in
England. It is Blackwell, a snug little
colliery town in the Derbyshire hills,
where the solitary policeman enjoys a
perpetual holiday. The last incumbent
left from sheer boredom. The man
ager Of the collieries is a born leader
of men, and this, combined with the
fact that he can dimiss all evil-doers
at will, practically the whole popula-
ton being employed at the colliery, is
the secret of his power. At the model
clubhouse the main army of the vii
layers can be seen around. the model
bar arranged by the manager, who
does not object to drink in modera-
ton. He selects the brands of whisky
and beer for the consumption of his
flock. Over the bar are notices re-
questing patrons not to swear or gam
BILE. There is q ballroom, and here
the youth of Blackwell trip decorous
measures, for Blackwell has no use
for the tango or other modern dances,
or, for that matter, for modern dress.
There is also in the building two we'll
equipped baths, so that cleanliness
ranks among the villagers many vir-
tues Blackwell has also excellent
cricket and football grounds In the
cricket building is a battered straw
hat, the relic from Blackwell's one
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
DEADLY POISON In FLOWERS
Some of the Most Beautiful Blooms
Secrete Substances Fatal in
Their Effects.

1t is surprising, and indeed unpleas-
ant, to learn that many beautiful flow
ers, fresh and attractive, have con-
cealed in them deadly poisons, says
the New Haven Register.
In the Alps is a plant called the
laburnum, which puts forth large yell
low blossoms so beautiful that they
have been likened to a fountain of
gold dancing in the sunlight And yet
the leaves, flowers, roots, bark and
seeds of this plant are exceedingly
poisonous. In fact, even the grass be-
meath and around the blossoms is so
contaminated by the poison that cattle
must be kept from eating it.
And can you imagine blooms so
beautiful as the narcissus, hyacinth,
jonquil, snow drop and foxglove Sc
creting deadly poisons? They do, how
ever, and noxious liquors can be made
from them that will kill human life.
Even the lady's slipper, the quaint
jack-in-the-pulpit and the apparently
innocent little buttercup are likewise
infected. Indeed, the latter is partic-
ularly deadly in it's poisonous secre-
tions. Cattle when grazing always
pass it by, for they seem to know by
instinct that it will kill them. Peo-
MES and larkspurs also contain toxic
fluids.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
FOUR PERIODS OF TRANSITION
Georges Looks, From the Introduction
to Adored One to the End of
the Honeymoon.

He Is a remarkably plain young
man. she wrote in her diary the first
day she met him. He has rather an in
teresting face she said to her mamma
month later as she decked her april
cot-colored tea gown with the William
Allen-Richardsons that he had just
sent her.
When she wrote to her best friend
to give the news of her engagement
she expressed herself thus: He has
not the regular featured dollish good
looks | have always hated in men. He
has a strong, characterize face and
magnificent eyes
You loveliest onei' she sighed, as
she poured out his tea at the third
breakfast of the honeymoon. I could
sit and look at you forever.
six months later, she observed to
her husband: I don't know whether
you're aware of it, George, but your
hairs getting most frightfully thin on
the top, and you're just about the last
man in the universe that can afford to
go bald
"A mans looks must not be judged
by appearances. From Stories
Without Tears" by Barry Pain.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
SPREAD A SPIRIT OF JOY
Fat Man, With His Laugh, DispeIled
Some of the "Bue Monday"
DoWnheartedness.

The scene was a crowded street car,
and the time was about eight of
Monday morning Blue Monday was
written plainly across the face Of
nearly every passenger one.
He was a man round of face and al
most spherical of figure, who chung to
a strap and swayed with the crowd as
the car rounded the turns. In his free
hand he held a humorous weekly,
which he read between sways. And
as he read he laughed. Not dry
cackle or a low chuckle, but a whole
some laugh, which seemed to start
somewhere near his shoes and gather
volume and tone as it rose through
his body and finally emerged from his
parted lips. Some gazed at him with
kind of subdued horror expressed in
their eyes, as if he had intruded on
their private case of blues But the
majority looked upon him with envy,
and that envy called attention to a
common human failing all too common
for the good of the race. We are in
clined to look upon wholesome laugh
ter, especially In pubic, as a sign or
reprehensible vulgarity. But then why
the envy? Perhaps because the man
seemed to be enjoying himself after
his own fashion, and though his fash
ion might be wrong, the enjoyment
might be all right There is some
thing refreshing about wholesome
laughter, which is contagious, and it
is probable that those who heard the
fat man laugh went to their work in
better spirits. In that case he per-
formed real public service, and he
is a man to be praised. And in any
case there can be little doubt that the
fat man ate better slept better and
worked better for his totally uncon-
scious exhibition of a rare talent.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
PoIiteness In Athens.

A long time ago, in Athens, the Spar
tan boys were guests OF Athenian boys
at the theater They were sitting in
the front row because they were the
gue1os of honor.
JUS before the play began an old
man came into the crowded theater,
and made his way down to the front.
He stopped by the seats of the Ath-
enian boys, and they commenced to
make fun Of him. He turned sadly
away.
AS he was about to go away the
Spartan boys all rose and motioned
for the old man to come and sit with
them. At first the Athenian boys were
ashamed; then they began to cheer.
All the people were attracted by this
and looked to see the cause of it.
When the cheering was over, the old
man stood up and said:
"Athenian boys know what is right,
but the Spartan boys do what is
right"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
AT THE CHURCHES

First Church of Christ, Scientist
Services held every Sunday at 1890 a.
m.
Testimonial meeting Wednesday
evening at a'clock. All are cordially
invited to these meetings. Sunday
school Immediately following morning
service. Reading room, Cor. Fifth and
Spring streets, open every afternoon
except Sunday from $50 until 4:3C
o'clock.
REFORMED CHURCH-North Fifth and
Cole Street; +. W. Lemke, pastor.
Sunday school at a. m. Divine Service
at 10 a. m. Ladies Society meets the
First Thursday of every month at 2. p
m. The Young Peoples Missionary So
ciety meets the First Thursday of every
month at 7:30.p. m
First Nj. E. Church-Bible School 10 a
m. Morning worship IL a. m. Epworth
League 6:45 p. M; Devotional service
at 7:3O p. m. Services at Pipersville al
1:3O p. m. Everybody is cordially in
vited to these services. Strangers very
welcome.
st. Johns Lutheran church-Sunday
school at 9 a. m; services at 10 a. m.
English services every second and last
Sunday in the month at 7:3O o. m.
St. Marks Lutheran church Sunday
school at a. NJ; German services at 1C
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
May Make Potash From Sugar Beets


American manufacturers are casting
their eyes about for sources from
which to make potash, the imports Of
which have ceased. Potash is found
in a great bed of salts at Stassfurt,
Prussia, and is made also by leeching
the ashes of land plants, the ashes of
sugar beets from molasses residues
and the publications of sheep STUNT.
In years gone by large qantities
were made from the ashes of stumps
In the Michigan pine forests, but this
was found to contain much common
salt. The pure Prussian potash came
along about the time the Michigan
source was exhausted.
The Scientific American says there
must be an opportunity for the devel-
opment of potash manufacture as a
byproduct of the beet sugar industry.
Prof. Uri Lloyd believes the crude mo-
lasses of the South contains an album
dance of potash.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
a. m. English services the first and
third Sunday of the month at 100 o. M.

tulIu OunUaY Oh Tie nOntH dt LOU u. III.
Moravian church-Sunday school at
9:l5 a. M; German preaching service at
1920 a. MY. P. S. C. E. at $50 o. ~ :;
7:30 p. N. evening services.
German Baptist church--Supday school
at 9:15 a. M; preaching services at 1890
a. M; young peoples meeting at $50 p.
M; evening services at 7:30 p. IN.
Congregational Chnrch-Sunday school
at 10 o'clotk. Sermon at II O'Clock; Rev.
n. Carter Daniel, pastor. Young peoples
meeting at 6:30P. M.
St. Paul's church-Holy communion
at s a. M; Sunday school at $50 a. M;
morning PRAYER at 1870 a. NJ; evening
prayer at 4:30 p. m.
st. Lukes Evangelical Lutheran
church Preaching services at 10 a. M.
and 7:30 p. M; Sunday school at D. m
ST. Henry's Catholic church = Low
mas at 500 a. M; high mass at 10 a. M.
Sunday school and vespers at $50 o. M
ST Bernard's Catholic church-Low
mass s a. NJ; high mass 1870 a. m.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
LIGHT ON JOHNS "BARGAIN"
But Unsuspicious Mrs. Brown Could
Only See Humorous Mistake
Made by Store Clerk.

81 see you have one of those cake
pans that Bargun's ten cent store sold
last week at their special SALE" said
Mrs. White, as she was visiting In
Mrs. Browns kitchen one morning.
Eyes. Isn't that good value for ten
cents?" replied Mrs. Brown, holding
the pan up proudly.
Indeed it is said Mrs. White, TAX
ing the pan in her hands. Il wanted
one, but the good ones were all gone
before I could be waited on. How did
you manage it?''
ooh, I sent john" smiled Mrs.
Brown. Il was busy and couldn't go
that morning, and you know John
passes there each morning about eight
o'clock, when the store opens. So l
asked him if he wouldn't stop and get
me a pan, and he said he would
81 should think you would be afraid
to trust him to buy one. Some OF
them we're quite badly damaged. you
know" said Mrs. White.
ooh, John is careful" Mrs. Brown
assured her. HE always gets the best
of everything. The one he got me is
absolutely perfect as far as | can see. "
well. isn't that wonderfuli | didn't
see a perfect one in the store But
didn't your husband object to carry
ing the pan home? Mine would, and
they never deliver anything sold at
the special sales"
'They delivered this" said Mrs.
Brown John Is we'll known and the
stores are anxious to accommodate
him. Then he has way Of getting
things done"
"I shall certainly send Robert to
Bargun's the next time they have
special sale," said Mrs. White. why,
this pan is just as good as the ones
they sell for quarter at Jones hard
ware store, next door to Bargun's-'
'Yes, it is exactly the same" said
Mrs. Brown. triumphantly. Il thought
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
low to Lessen hardness.

In the Women's Home Companion a
number of contributors present va
riety of good ideas for public schools.
A teacher in Los Angeles, Cal, tells
as follows how hardness is lessened
in the schools of that city:
"a winning method of dealing with
hardness is used in the grammar
schools of Los Angeles, Cal. Iron
sockets which securely hold a Flagstaff
have been placed beside each school
room door, and every morning after
the tardy bell has rung every room
free from hardness places it's flag
outside the door, so that all who run
may read Bereft indeed do the small
persons feel who can fly no flag.
For the best weekly average fur
Their prestige is acquired by being al
lowed the pleasure of possessing a
beautiful piece Of statuary so long a
time as the average can be main
tanned"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
beautiful"

tHow glad I am" purred the visi-
tor, that your daughter has made
such an excellent match"
Mrs. Strug smiled, in the gratifed
manner of successful campaigner.
yes, Madge has married we'll
very WELL" she answered, compla-
Gently.
"But what a pity" pursued she of
the catty instinct, that he has such
d peculiar name Fussenmuck, isn't
1t?" she queried innocently.
"Yes," agreed the other indiffer-
emily.
Hateful don't you think 500"
81 haven't thought about the sound
of it," declared Mrs. s., whose
feelings had been eradicated in the
stru ggle for existence, 'but l know
that it's got a perfectly beautiful ap-
pearance on a check"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
Proved Employers Contention

A young fellow, the son of a wealthy
man, was engaged in some clerical ca
pacity by friend of his father in or
der to try to make something of him.
He was, however, shiftless to the last
degree and nothing he said could be
relied upon.
One day his employer called him
into his private office and gave him a
sound lecture. He dWelt chiefly on
his prevarication and wound up by
saying:
you know, James, that you are al
ways lying
"Sir," said James, 81 would have you
remember that l am a gentleman"
There you go again." said his en-
ployer.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
Pain Is a Hint to the Wise,

One thing that should be regarded
seriously is pain in any form in any
part of the body. If there is a dull
headache frequently, find out what
causes it. Pain in the knee, the arch
Of the foot or at any point should be
taken seriously. Pain means some
thing wrong. 1t may be brave to
bear it, but it is not wise. Remember
that pain felt in one part of the body
may be the result of something wrong
in another part. See a wise doctor
about it.-Boy Scout Handbook
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05

it was, but I wanted to make sure; so
went into the hardware store the
other day and asked to see their pans.
They showed me one for a quarter
that is exactly like mine. / told the
man had got pan just like it for ten
cents, and then he made the funniest
mistake-he said he had sold John one
only a few days ago. Wasn't that
queer?"
''It certainly was" said Mrs. White.
Youths Companion
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
ForesiQht Defined,

The children had read the word
foresight in the reader and the teach
er was endeavoring to make it plain
Foresight" she said, lis looking
ahead. Now, Freddie, you give me
an example of foresight, if you can"
"Well, foresight would be not to eat
much breakfast when you knew you
were going out into the country to
your grandmother's for dinner" ex-
planned the boy.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
Whole Family Benefited
By Wonderful Remedy

There are many little things to
annoy us, under present conditions
of life The hurry, hard work,
noise and strain all tell on us and
tend to provoke nervousness and
irritability.. We are frequently SO
worn out we can neither eat, sleep
nor work with any comfort. We
are out of line with ourselves and
others as we'll.
A good thing to do under such
circumstances is to take something
lie
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05

whether summer or winter-away
from telephone and all other distrac-
tons of the town. / find that the only
way to get lot of work done. l like
to walk, play tennis, row, dance-and
cook. Otherwise I'm just like every
body else"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
What an Author Does.

Margaret Turnbull, author of the re-
Gently published novel, Looking After
Sandy" is a believer in the back to
the country" slogan-that is, tempo
rarily Il run down to the country"
she says, whenever I want to write
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
DR.. Miles Anti-Pain Pills

are relied upon to relieve pain,
nervousness and irritability in thou
sands of households. Of proven
merit after twenty years use, you
can have no reason for being longer
without them. -
MILES MEDICAL CO., Elkhart, Ind.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
DR.. Miles Anti-Pain Pills

to relieve the strain on the nerves.
Mrs. J. B. Hartsheld, 81 Plum ST.,
Atlanta Ga, writes:
at have on several occasions been
vastly relieved by the use Of your med
icines, especially the Anti-Pain Pills,
which I keep constantly on hand for
the use Of myself, husband and two
sons. Nothing in the world equals them
as a headache remedy. Often I am
enabled by the use of one or two OF
the Pills to continue my housework
when otherwise I would be in bed. My
husband joins me in my praise of the
Anti-Pain Pills and Nervine."
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05
Best REGARDS to Science.

Science attacks the sandwich" Is
headline. Here's hoping 1t has bet
ter luck with it than we have had with
some purchased at railway lunch coun-
ters.-Boston Transcript.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-01-05

lapse from grace. 1t was the only hat
out of fifteen that returned when a
party of holiday-makers left Black
well to spend a day in London.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-08-21
STUFF AUTOS
RUN ONE-TWO
In ELGIN RACE
Cooper and Anderson
Show Way to Oldfeld at
3O1 Miles on the Road.

Elgin, ILL.,, Aug 90 The Chicago Au-
tomobile Club trophy, for which nine
drivers entered, over the Elgin course,
was won to-day by Earl Cooper. The
time, 4:O1:32, for the sol miles estab-
lished a new record for the course.
Cooper. who drove a Stutz car, aver
aged 74.97 miles an hour. Anderson, his
team! mate, finished IN second place.
three and a half minutes later, averag-
ing 1885. Third came Barney Oldfield,
in a Delage, who averaged 72.46. Alley
and ODonnell were the only others to
finish.
De Palma was the favorite at the
start and held the lead for the first
fifty miles. when he broke n rocker
arm. He laid up at the pit for more
than an hour while the part was being
replaced and started again. although
hopelessly beaten. Seeing that the pur-
suit was hopeless, he dropped out to
save his motor for the race tomorrow.
De Palma's mishap left the race be-
tween Cooper and Anderson. This pair
were never more than a few minutes
apart, but Cooper finally drew into a
safe lead when Anderson's car lost a
trihe Of it's speed. Barney Oldtield drove
a consistent race. In mid-race he drew
into third position, and stayed there.
The day was cloudy, but in spite Of
the threat of rain a larger crowd than
was expected lined the course.
Tomorrow fourteen cars are expect
ed to start in the Elgin national trophy
race. The distance is the same as to-
day. but there is no limitation on piston
displacement. It is expected that to-
days record will be lowered slightly.
The previous record, 1875 miles an
hour was made last year by De Palma.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-08-21
MARSANS ORDER STANDS
Reds Can't Get Modification
of Decision and Appeal.

st. Louis. Aug. 90. An application
of the Cincinnati Nationals for a writ
setting aside the Federal Court decree
modifying he injunction against Ar
mando Marsans, the Cuban ball player,
was denied by Judge Dyer in the
United States District Court here to-
day, and Marsans will be permitted 20
play with the st. Louis Federals for
the present
Judge Dyer granted an appeal to the
Circuit Court of Appeals.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-08-21

WHITE S0X BUY JACKSON
Comiskey Pays $4,000 for
Smuggling Outfielder.

Cleveland. Aug. 90. Coming through
with a bid of $4,000 and three ball
rlayers. the Chicago White SoX to
day purchased Joe Jackson from the
Indians.
Just what PLAYERS will come here has
rot been determined. and IL viii he
Sunday or Monday before Comiskey
and Somcrs. the club owners, reach an
agreement on this point.
The deal was closed by Harry Grabi-
nor. secretary Of the White SoN. who
came here to-day for that purpose.
Gardiner and Jackson started tonight
for Chicago. and Joe will break into
the lineup with mis- new mates to-
morrow
The sale Of Jackson to Chicago fol
lowed an unsuccessful effort by the
Washington club to secure the slug
ging right fielder. He is said to have
onered Somcrs $4,000 for him. but
was turned down because the only
PLAYER he was willing to part with was
Ray Morgan. now under suspension for
failure to keep in condition.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-08-21
WARSANS FAILS
TO CHECK TIP
TOPS ADVANCE
Brooklyn Team Pounds
3 Pitchers of St. Louis
Feds and Wins Easily.

Armando Marsans, with the weight
of an injunction lifted from his shout
ders, played sparkling game for the
st. Louis Fielders against the Brook
Ign Tip Tops at Washington Park yes
terday. The Tip Tops, however, cap
tured the second contest of the series
by score of 8 TO 1. Marsans was in
centre field and pulled down three
drives.
The Tip Tops enjoyed Eating bee
at the expense of three st. Louis Field
ers, whose offerings were pounded all
over the field for fifteen safeties. Every
player on the Brooklyn team got hit,
while Benny Kauff and Ty Helfrich
gathered three each. Grover Hartley,
the st. Louis catcher, had hard time
checking the base stealing tendencies
of the Tip Tops, Who stole five. includ-
ing a double steal of home.
Don Marion worked in effective fash
ion against the Fielders, holding them
to seven scattered hits.
The score follows:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-08-21
BANCROFT KEEPS
PHILLIES In RACE
BY HIS HOME RUN
Drive for Circuit in the
Eleventh CrusheS
Pirates.

Philadelphia. Aug. 2O.-A home-run
drive by Bancroft in the eleventh in
ling gave Philadelphia a 4-to-3 victory
over Pittsburgh to-day
Rixey, who started the game for the
Phillies. was hit much harder than
Cooper and was taken out in the eighth
inning after Pittsburgh had tied the
score.
Alexander did grand work as a rescue
twrler.
Bancroft and Viox starred at the bat,
each making three hits and receiving
a pass in five trips to the plate.
The score follows: