The Washington herald., 1915-08-09

I know every mother of child has
felt many times the disappointment and
| chagrin that a young mother wrote me
| of the other day. She said:
Dear Aunt Chatty-I wonder II any
one in our club has a child like mine? he
| is a smart little thing: he knows lots OF
cute little pieces and kindergarten songs
| that he says and sings to me al nome.
! or to himself when he is playing AROUND
| the house, but do them he won't. when l
want him to for other people. nave
| often told my friends about them' pu'
not one of them has ever heard MIN say
a piece. He just hangs his head ana
wont saw a word when 1 tell him to.
The other day I was spending the day
at my mothers and she had quite a din
ner marty. I took Clifford with me, ana
in the afternoon I told the ladies no"
smart he is and about his pretty songs
and pieces. OF course they wanted 10
hear some of them. but. as usual ne
couldn't be made to do thing. l WHIP
ped him for disobedience, but 1t was all
the same He wouldn't and he dldn I:
What would you do with such chiio
Well, in the first place, / would take
mvself severely to task for trying to
make NV child show on" To gratlty
her own pride, that mother is doing her
child a real injury In the first place
she is making the mistake many OF US
do when we first undertake the dlmcuit
task of motherhood; she Is not trying 10
see how the child himself feels ABOUT
showing or what he can do WONDER
II we would like 1t to be led into ROOM
full of strange people by some one
[ great deal larger and stronger tnah our
selves and told to get of song ana
dance in the midst of the circle OF star
ing ewes, Wouldn't We feel a little as II
we were a circus performer under the
direction of a tyrannical ringmaster VINO
was putting US through our PAGES? NOW.
can't YOU imagine yourself in the place
of a little child, a thousand times more
shy and sensitive than the average
grown person, asked to get up IN a
company of people far more formidaoi
to him than a circus audience wouio oe
~ ne and recite or sing for them to
laugh FOR that Is what they do. you
know, and how Is he to know whether
the laughter Is approval or derision!
And then the remarks that usually fol-
,owr ..Isn,t he cuter How cunning"
..Uh.t a dear little fellow" Come here.
LITTLE how. Let me see who You look
like And then perhaps his chin Is
taken in the hand of some severe wom-
an in a black dress and his features dis
cussed. one by -one. to see II he looks
like the Smiths or the Hopkinses! l
know because have been all through
with II. and I wasn't a smart child,
either!
II any Of the members OF our Mothers
Club are guilty Of the crime of making
their children SHOW on, or OF that
equally heinous misdemeanor of telling
people in their hearing how cute" they
are or how well they can do things.
want to tell you most emphatically you
are making almost the worst mistake
you can make with them.
Children should grow and develop as
freely and unconsciously as the flowers
of the field: their attention should never
be called to their performances in such
a way as to make them self-conscious or
proud of their accomplishments. Praise
them? Yes, Of course. judiciously. as I
told YOU in our talk on "Praising the
Child few weeks ago. But that Is
something quite. different to telling your
friends, in season and out Of season. how
smart Tommy is and how cute 1t Is to
hear him say his little pieces.
I know q mother years ago who
thought to give her boys self-conhdence
by constantly telling them how well
they could do things. and urging them
to display their talents whenever =
friend came to the house.
They were bright boys. and Philip,
especially, was frequently able to skip
q grade in school. One day he strutted
In to announce that he had been promot-
ed again.
why, how does that happen IN the
middle Of the year?" asked. was sit
ting on the porch with his mother.
''Oh, It's because TIN % awful SMART
Master Philip replied. And his mother
laughed.sss
II was 4 naive remark. but Il was In
dicative Of the man Philip grew u to be-
to take the center OF the stse.e In every
company. end most people dislike him
and avoid hiu s-ss.