davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Rose In Revolt.

Johnny. who was more proficient in
the art Of wheeling the baby buggy
than in the selection of his pronouns.
became tired of being called on so Of
ten to perform this duty. So when
mamma summoned him in the midst
of an exciting game of tag he relieved
his mind thus: Now, mother. what's
the world comm to? Ever since that
baby got here it's been nuthin' but
Johnny, wheel she all the time"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

What is your position on prepared
ness?"
Il am in favor of it, replied Sena-
tor Sorghum.
do you think it will operate to-
promote peace?"
That's my view Of it. Anyway. B.
candidate out our way who isn't in
favor of preparedness may as we'll
expect to have terrible fight on his
hands,"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Grim Humor.

Seems like you've had an accident
here" said the farmer, as he brought
his team of fat mules to halt.
NO" replied the motorist, who was
crawling painfully from under his
wrecked car. I've just played prac
tical joke on my WIFE"
"How's that?"
"She thinks she's going to matt
nee this afternoon in this car"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Resented.

what want to see,' said Diogenes,
lis an honest man."
And when you see him, what will
you do?"
"Pll simply go my way. A thor
oughly honest man generally has posi-
tive opinions of his own, and, there
fore, is liable not to be very good
company"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Had MANY AccompIices,

Judge-Did you commit the burglary
alone or with the help of others?
Prisoner-With the help Of about
5000 others.
Judge-What? Explain yourself.
Prisoner-Well, you see. judge, the
parade called everybody in the house
to the front windows. SO had clear
chance to do me work In the back
Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

is there any way of stopping these
cyclones?' asked the man from the
East.
oh. no." replied the Westerner;
the best way is to go right along
with EN-"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
A Straiuht TIP,

Il hear your engagement with young
Cashleigh is OFF," said the first fair
daughter of Eve.
We'll, you are entitled to another
hearing" answered fair daughter No.
2, as she held up a graceful hand on
which solitaire sparkled. You see
for yourself that l am still in the
ring"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Retort Courteous.

THAT man has an unfair advantage
over me in swimming match. He
can't go down, for he's got a cork
leg"
Yes, but it won't float any better
than your head"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
chance for Inuen4ors

New Arrival-Me legs most broke.
I've heard tn Amerykins was a nation
av inventors, but, bedad, it doesn't
look loike it.
Friend-Phwy not?"
New Arrival-Sure, phwy hovnt
they inventid a coal hole that will
shtay shut phwin it's open?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

so they are finding out how to
manufacture colors for our own
trade"
Yes; the manufacturers have been
spurred on by desire to dye for
their country"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
A Careful LADY.

Never leave the parrot in the
room with the goldfish
Very well. mum"
THE parrot is hopeless. But l
don't want the goldfish to learn to
swear"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

How is the fair sex taking to the
ankle watch?"
"Oh, as might be expected"
''How's that?"
Those who have trim ankles are
for it, those who haven't are not"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Took llp,hrsne

What was the trouble between you
and that barber?"
Il simply asked him what was the
damage. | meant the amount due him,
but he took it as reflection on his
ability
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

81 have been taking Father Johns
Medicine for two years for lung and
throat trouble and found great results
from it. l had cough for three weeks
and nothing seemed to help it but af-
ter taking Father Johns Medicine l
was better and my health was much
improved and now I work every day."
(Signed) Miss Margaret Murphy, 3
Clinton St., Albany, N. Y.
At this season of the year, those
who tire easily, are run down, below
normal weight, thin and pale, should
take pure and nourishing tonic flesh
builder, such as Father Johns Medi-
cine, because it Is free from danger
GUS drugs and actually rebuilds wasted
tissue. Many people gain weight
steadily while taking 1t.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

Il have destined my son eventual
ly for the bench"
Then if he is to sit on the bench,
l think you had better caution him
about standing SO much at the bar"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
SPREADING Evervwhere.

Yes, saw plenty of native dancing
girls in India
And did you see those wonderful
native dances?"
Nav; they wouldn't dance EN-.
They are all crazy over the one-step.n
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
HeadWork.

Why" asks Missouri paper. does
Missouri stand at the head in raising
mules?"
Because" says another paper, that
is the only safe place to stand.
Christian Register.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Still Extant

Uncle Jim, have dragons gone out
of existence?"
oh. no, my lad. You can see one
almost any day chaperoning a pretty
girl."-Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Very Much So.

There is an extremely paradox
cal way of freezing out man in
business"
"How's that?"
by hot competition"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Limited Experience.

Mistress Ito new girl)-We enter
tain good deal. Have you had much
experience at parties?
Girl-Only as a guest, mum.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Niuht Views Only.

City Resident-That's a very pretty
suburban town you live in, Jones.
Distant Suburbanite-Yes. hope to
see it by daylight myself some time.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Delicious Fumes.

Skinny Mistress (scenting unaccus-
toned delightsl-Sarah, what is that
| smell?
Unacracurished Maid OF Al Work
think it must come in from next
door.-Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Retort courteo,,s.

Shell never helped you to make a
fool of yourself.
He-You didn't? Didn't you marry
me?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

81 wonder what sort of life the peo-
pie lead who live on Mars"
DO you suppose that for pets they
have moon dogs?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
The Usual Result

When modern fiction writer's try
Their thoughts to serve UP hot,
We get erotic novels-with
The accent on the rot"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
A Personal tragedy.

"The stranger you saw took me
apart to tell me a startling story"
What happened them"
Il could not pull myself together"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
The Human Masquerade.


Mr.. Staylate-I often think, Miss
Susie, how will come to die.
Bored Hostess-I wouldn't like to
frighten you, Mr.. Staylate, but I'm
sure it will be of something linger-
ing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
New Business.

Lighting, the experts say. is mod
ern art; III TACT. some aviators haven't
yet measured it completely.-Wash-
ington Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

Mrs Earlydawn-Get up, daughter.
Remember, it's the early bird that gets
the worm.
Daughter-Let him have EN-. ]
think worms are horrid. anyway.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
lust So.

IT see where the poor Serbs are
making a sort of movie arrangem emit
about their seat of government"
Yes; capital idea, isn't it?"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
Knew Her Lesson.

He kissed the maid upon the cheek,
And when the deed was done.
The Good Books teaching she obeyed-
And turned the other one.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
FREE OFFER
ENDS DEC. 20 .--...

Cut out this "Ad" now and send it to rs. It 10
valuable. Turn all your collections of coupons,
cash OF Into any one KIND so you can get your
premium quicker; This Al counss as ten 90:
collections and tell US what kind Of coupon.
stamp or label you want In exchange or
not please you, We return your collection at
once Cut out and send US this Ad-it counts
Address NEW YORK COUPON EXCHANGE co, Suite 1900.
a. w. s4h st. Now York. Ref: Sherman National Bank.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09

1t is difficult to dispose of every hog
in the fall to advantage, because in a
bunch of hogs there are always some
that are not fat enough to sell.
1t also is difficult to feed such hogs
SO they will make profitable gains
after cold weather comes, unless they
are kept in warm house.
Breeding stock also needs warm.
comfortable quarters for winter, where
they may make good use of a small
amount of feed and have sufficient vi
tally to develop strong, healthy filters
of pigs. To provide facilities for
handling hogs under these different
conditions we are illustrating a me-
dium-sized winter hog house.
1t is divided into ten pens, five on
each side of the house. There Is a
center feeding alley between the pens.
and each pen has an opening into this
feeding alley.
The foundation and floor is made of
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1915-12-09
HOUSING STOCK
IN THE WINTER
Comfortable Quarters Make for
contented Animals and Sub =.
StantiaI Profits.
FIRST-CLASS PLAN OUTLINED
Design Shown by the Illustrations Is
One of the Best That the Ingenuity
of Experts Has Produced-Ample
Ventilation Provided For
by the Builders.
BY WILLIAM A. RADFoRD.

Mr.. William A. Radford will answer
questions and give advice FREE OF
COST on all subjects pertaining to the
subject of building work on the farm. for
his wide experience as Editor. Author and
Manufacturer, he is, without doubt. the
highest authority on all these subjects
Address all inquiries to William A. Rad
ford, No. 1927 Prairie avenue. Chicago,
Ill. and only inclose two-cent stamp for
reply.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

AT THE ORPHEUM.

The new bill at the Orpheum which
began Thursday offers varied enter
tainment and will appeal strongly TO
are Capt Gruber's trained animals
consisting OF Minnie, the largest per-
forming elephant in the world, a
handsome horse. a pretty pony ana a
great, big St. Bernard dog. All of
them work perfectly under the skill
full direction Of Capt. Gruber and Mile.
Adelaide They have played around
the world, in the biggest theaters of
this and other countries and the en-
tertainment is one that pleaseS.
Another feature for the little tots
is the unusually clever performance
offered by the four juvenile Kings.
These youngsters work with all the
skill of old time professionals and the
little star. Baby Loretta, is a genuine
coincidence. The older ones in the
audience viii be pleased with the dra-
matte sketch of Arthur Sullivan and
company. The playlet is called
straight" and gives a new and pleas
ing angle to the modern crook play.
AS fast a pair of vaudeville entertain
ers as the Orpheum has had for some
time are Spencer and Williams ana
their new songs and bright patter
earns them a number of encores. y
close second is the singing team OF
Hager and Goodwin ana their county
fair number is a big hit The entire
show is excellent.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
WOMEN who ARE
ALWAYS TIRED
May Find Help in This
Letter.

Swan Greek, Mich. -" l cannot speak
too highly of your medicine. When
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
THE AUDITORIUM.

BETTY hansen, the great Norwegian
actress. is the attraction at the Audi
torium today, appearing IN powerful
play entitled The Celebrated Scan
daI" i'm five reels of wonderful pic
lures This is Miss Nansen's first ap-
Dearance i'm this country i'm pictures
and she is supported by an exception
ally strong cast including Edward
Jose. Walter Hitchcock and Stuart
Holmes one OF Bray's clever car
toons is also on for today
TomorrOw's bill includes "Roselyn,
a two part Nitagraph featuring Naomi
Childers. Roslyn, a talented young
actress. is deeply i'm love with fhlllP
James. an ambitious young lawyer.
He loves her but is selfish and egotis-
tical. and when he meets Helen Mari,
whose father is wealthy he falls IN
love with her and marries her. When
Roslvn hears of Philips marriage her
love turns to hate She marries John
Ware. a good man. but their married
life is not happy as Roslyn broods
over her revenge
The influence of time and mother
hood softens Roslyn's heart bit. but
when her baby dies she becomes more
bitter than ever, she leaves her nus
band and returns To the stage. Philip
seeing her name on the billbOards has
a desire to see her At the sight of
her he is again fascinated. lie sends
words 10 her and she leads him on
finally inducing him TO write few
COMPROMISING lines TO her. With this
evidence she goes 10 see his Wire
and have her revenge, but she sees
Philips child rocking and singing
with her dolls and is reminded her
own and the memory of this bit or
sunshine in her life. drives away the
shadows from her heart
She succeeds in escaping from the
house unnoticed. and returns penl-
tentlv TO her own good husband, there
finding peace and solace in his COM
forting love and kindness.
How Ida Got a Husband kalem
comedy: the Selig weekly Of current
news: THE Guardians Dilemma a
Selig comedy. and The Death Train
completes tomorrOw's show.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
STOCK is COMING.

The Pearl Stock Co. will open a
spring season at the Oliver starting
Saturday, April ,, and continuing in
definitely. The company has just
closed a long enga cement in New
castle. Pa. playing there for many
months where they attained great
popularity. Miss Pearl Evans Lewis
heads the company as leading lady and
is said to be a very charming and at
tractive young actress, Russelle Test
will appear in the Juvenile leads while
a. \. Webster will play character
leads.
In the supporting company are
Helen Robinson, Jane Tarr, Florence
Gordon, Petite Webb, Edwin Vickery.
Leslie Webb. Bert Bence, Donald
Gregory, Oswald Gordon and William
Hurley
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

The Las1IlC t0day prcsents WiIlaH
IT. Crane in his immortal characteri-
zation. David Harum." Famous
PLAYERS Paramount five-part produc-
ton.
David Harum" is unique as work
Of the drama Ii does not represent
life I'M the manner presented in the
many OF the modern plays. but reflects
a type OF story and personality OF the
most natural kind. though removed
from the more usual principles of dra-
matte composition. David Harum
as character study assumes first
rank with the dramatic type delinea-
tons OF the past half-century.
Though William III. CraEe's person
al achievement dominates tue story, he
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

health again. 1t is truly a great bless
ing to women, and l cannot speak too
highly of it. l take pleasure in recon-
mending il to others. Mrs. ANNE
CAMERON, RI, D., No. l, Swan Creek,
Michigan.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
AZ THE MAJESTIC

New songs, new comedy. a new bill
called, The Runaway Girl" makes
the Majestic a bright spot for the last
half of the week. The pleasing story
is well acted and the song numbers
are put over with a viz. They in
Guide BALM the Jack" by Fred Dun
ham; Ruff JOhnson's Harmony
Band" by Eugene Rauth; Dance the
Denzozo With Me-" by Ethel Brandon:
My Pickaninny Babe" by Dorothy
Ellis. and THE AutOcar Accident" by
Ed SchoOley. The girl chorus works
often and pleasingly.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

1 Large Jar Arthur's GreaseIess
Cold Cream
I Bottle Burwal Almond Lotion
Bottle Eden Florida Water
Jar Parke's MenthOIated Cream
Cake Palm Olive Soap
Box Clabelle Complexion Powder
1 Box Burwal POudre de Riz Violet
Rice Powder
1 Bottle Lavender Smelling Salts
Jar Eden Massage Cream
Jar Eden Face Beautificr-
/ Bottle JOubet Et Ole Perfume
I Bottle Eden Green Soap
] Can BurWal Tooth Powder
1 Bottle Peroxide
1 Bottle Arthur's Rose Water and
Glycerine-
Box Eden Rouge
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
WIDOW is NOT NAMED
Will Not Share in Gen. Ives $4,000
600 Estate.

NEW YORK, March 26. - Mrs.
Elonora b. Ives, widow Of Gen. Bray
ton Ives, and his daughter. Winifred
Ives. both of New York city, were cut
off by Gen. Ives in his will disposing
of an estate of more than $2,OOO,000
filed Thursday in the surrogate's
court.
Yale university. the decedents alma
matre, will get the residue of the
estate unless the will in question Is
broken. A contest is anticipated.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
TO GIVE TALK SATURDAY

Mrs. Anthony French Merrill of
Chicago will give her final talk at
the oliver hotel Saturday afternoon
at 4 o'clock when the ladies are re-
quested TO invite their husbands or
some other guest The lecture was
to have been hello Friday evening but
was postponed until saturday owing
60 the Cadman recital. The subject
for the day viii be south America
i'm It's Relation 10 U.s..
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
Another Sufferer relieved.

Hebron, Me-" Before taking your
remedies l was ell run down. discour-
aged and had female weakness. | took
Lydia f. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and us>d the Sanative Wash. and
find today that am an entirely new
woman, ready and willing to do my
Homework now, where before taking
your medicine il was a dread. / try to
impress upon the minds of all ailing
women / meet the benefits they can
derive from your medicines. " - Mrs.
CHARLES Rowe, Kennebago, Maine.
If YOU want special advice
write TO Lydia r. Pinkham Med
icine Co., (cOnfidential) Lynn,
Mass. Your letter viii be opened.
read and answered by a woman
sEd held in strict confidence.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
The Utility Bathroom or
Medicine) Cabinet

is made of heavy steel throughout and is finished in
triple-coated pure white enamel, ovenfred, inside
and out.
A Cabinet that will last lifetime in any home
In fact its material and construction assure prac-
tiCally endless service. 1t can't warp get out of
shape pull apart The steams of the bathroom
or kitchen can have affect upon it. And no
handsomer cabinet would be possible!
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
At THE SURPRISE.

The Prayer of a Horse a sort of
a BLACK Beauty" story told by a
horse. There is a fine white animal
mixed up in a Kentucky feud and it's
interesting. THE Water Cure" a JO-
ker comedy is on the same bill.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

Twenty different articles-aII full
size bottles or jars-the same as sell
in drug stores throughout the cOun-
try.
From such famous houses as:
BuFwal. Perfumer:
Eden, PeFfumer;
Arthur Chemical CO.;
Clabelle Co.:
JOubet Et Gle. Perfumers:
Park * Co.. PeFfumeFS:
j. Ii. Johnston Soap Co. palm
OIive);
1 Bottle Of Eden Tooth Wash
Can OF Burlval Talcum Toilet
Powder
Bottle Eden Violet Witch Hazel
1 Bottle Eden Violet Toilet Water
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

is supported by an unusually compe-
tent cast, and assisted in giving the
story its fullest value by a production
commendabIe in its mechanical and
artistic scope.
Also, such Is Life" a comedy.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

through neglect or
overwork l get run
down and my appe-
lite Is poor land 1
have that weak, Ian
guild, always tired
feeling, / get a bot
tie of Lydia E. Pink
hams We &c ia BILE
Compound, and it
builds me up. gives
me strength, and re-
eAovac mo 70 T,orfa.N
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26
At THE COLONIAL.

The Colonial offers today In the
Warden's Garden" a strong story Of
a poor man. forced into crime by adj
versity. the penalty he suffers and
how his child redeems him. Above
Par" is a Reliance comedy drama
on the same bill.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-05-03

of japanese as advisers in political
financial and military affairs, together
with japanese supervision and control of
China's manufacture or purchase of mu-
nitions of war, various railway and min
ing concessions, and the right of the Jap
anese to propagate Buddhism in China
The demand for railway concessions was
refused as conflicting with concessions al
ready made to another power, and there
fore affecting China's good faith. Japan
is expected to send an ultimatum to
China, and about the only recourse of the
government at Pekin win be an appeal
to the powers The nations of Europe are
not in position to help settle the contro-
versy, and the United States may be
called upon to play an important role as
mediator.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-05-03

The Massachusetts forestry association
has inaugurated campaign for planting
shade trees along the line of the state
highways and connecting links on a $50
mile circuit, beginning at Boston and ex-
tending through Worcester, Springfield,
Pittsfeld, North Adams, Greenfield,
Fitchburg, Cambridge and back to Boston
again. This is the most ambitious pro-
ject Of the kind ever undertaken in this
country. The association is taking long
look to the future, but it does not require
vivid Imagination to picture the beau
ties which future generations would en-
joy with miles and miles of symmetrical
trees shading the highways.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-05-03
He Knew.

A teacher in children 5 institution
was giving the geography class a les
son on the cattle ranches. She spoke
of their beef all coming from the West.
and wishing to test the children s OBJ
servation, she asked:
. And what else comes to US from
these ranches?'
That was a poser. She looked at her
shoes, but no one took the hint. She
tried again:
" What do we get from the cattle
besides beef?'
One boy eagerly raised his hand.
CT know what it IS It's tripe,'
he announced triumphantly.-Y Youth ,
Companion.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-05-03

That electricity is destined to play
a big part in navigation is Indicated
in the award to the General Electric
company Of contract to equip the
battleship California with machinery
q propulsion. The mechanism has been
tested on a smaller craft and found to
work satisfactorily. Less expensive
installation and operation, lighter
weight for space occupied and swifter
.reversals Of shafts and ships are the
main arguments that lead the naval
authorities to make this notable ex-
pertinent. If electricity can drive the
dreadnought type Of battleship as well
as the launch and collier lot of pres
cnt day machinery viii go to the scrap
heap in short order.