The Washington herald., 1915-03-21
O. HOPE JONES.


than a wooden Indian. Do you like to
believe that of a man or had you rath-
cr be told that there were times without
number when the great warrior and
ruler let himself loose and proved to all
the world that he was possessed of all
the sentiments of average humanity. We
here behold him engaged in a wrestling
match with one of the soldiers of his
army, and no man that followed him
thought the less OF MIN for indulSing in
such relaxation. Sometimes he went
down with whoop and sometimes he
! Hoped the other man ON his ear. but it
was always in good nature and the
struggle thoroughly enjoyed. Alexander
The Great has always been one of my
like to know that he occasionally stole
watermelons. upset smokehouses and
carried off front gates for diversion.
must an d iat ibs Fead 9 96st
put in twcnty-four hours per day seeing
how mean and contemplate he could be.
While large part of Rome, on which
there was no insurance. was burning,
the historians have it that Nero laughed
and fiddled. One must infer from that
that he would pay mighty little atten-
ton II he saw somebody's woodshed on
fire at midnight. with the family absent
at a candy-pul. Ny friends. gaze an
this picture. Nero was not exactly my
sort. hut | don't propose TO see. him hit
in the back 10y history. Our artist has
ca Sht him playing with goat. No
N; n that WAS thoroughly wicked and
yiIlianous ever did that The first thing
hardened wretch would DO when ar-
PREACHED by a ''Eflly' would he to
knock the animals blamed head off
Nero had his hat on his ear and chip
ON his shoulder most of the time. but
y" historian can make me believe that
he WAS thoroughly bad. In Schenectady,
Il few weeks ago. hull-neCked. cock
eyed CatifT threatened 10 do me mortal
injury for saving that Nero had his good
points. but q Hope Jones is not the
fox hlun W b, 5rItN- nj
tho way.
Who 81 Won before me can think of
pioCeues except As a Grabbed and cross
grained old kicker sitting in front Of tho
tub he lived in History is to blame for
that. History has never let us get any
further. and Will" We except the phil
"sophy "" hIv" a contempt for the man.
Let us disahuS" our minds. biOg"ncs
us a man first and a philosopher next.
Ia this picture Nru behold him chasing a
man with q Wh""l-bdrrnw. No old CSeuk
or kicker would indulge in such per
E"rmaT"e. Their. * to" much fun in it
for tn" man with the barrow. When
s"rl,. big gun arrived n tho Diogenes'
..'r''!ril" - fill up with a wagon load ui
nIloSuphy il must have been surprise
I:irty IN him 10 have old Diogenes sud
denly jump un and run him around town
rith Il wh"el-barrow grazing at his
heels. but you'll notice how careful the
historians are to keep mum about the
Get. | have great reason also to believe
that he played checkers, went to spell
ing-lres and took in the circus with the
rest Of tine town and feel it a duty to
set him right before this generation. Let
us believe that he was the first and only
philosopher if We will. but let us also
reason il out that he busted a Suspend"r
row and then. and knew how il felt to
kick an old hat in the road and find a
cobble stone underneath to drive his
toes back TO his heel.
My friends. always introduce a re-
cess Of five minutes at this iuncture. and
are. will now occur. II anybody desires
20 pass tho hat for the benefit of any
body or anything in particular | shall
raise NO objections. and 8 | make ready
to continue tho exhibition I shall cheer
fully observe in the back end Of the hall
a wild-cyed. hOw-backed critter with a
couple Of hens eggs in his hand. and il
might save trouble il now remark that
in ease either egg should strike my per-
son This evening that the thrower won't
he ton seconds in figuring that the two
upper stories Of this hail have fallen
down upon him"