The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-08-29
Little Machine, Much
Like a Wris. Watch,
Frequently Fools the
WearerS
ny JOHN y.

- EDOMETERS. so the physicians
say al their club, are all the
fashion around New York and
e%nvirons now. You can't al
ways get a man who is wearing me to
admit it. like the corpulent folks who
put on health belts, but still the best
dressers are affecting them. especially
the best dressers who are a little bit
over weight.
I'm awful sore at myself tonight"
declared a man confidentially to me the
other day. Il took the longest walk
to-day I've made this week and / for
got to put on my pedometer when I
got dressed this morning. Well. III
have TO guess at the distance and set
it ahead that much when l go home
tonight. put on some health and
took of some weight this afternoon ali
right. so, Joe. you a let us have n
other helping out of the bottle now
Joe is a gentleman in a white suit
whose education is limited TO reading
labels on bottles.
1t isn't old fashioned to walk any
more. The doctors have asserted
that progress IN Shanks's old mare
makes a nan feel like challenging Jess
Willard or a woman like becoming a
militant suffragette, 50 the sidewalks
are crowded. Soon the city will have
10 begin TO provide for this excessive
traffic and stick up sidewalk s~ignposts
such as now block up Fifth avenue by
squares, as they say in literary circles
in Boston. to tip of vehicular traffic
which way TO go and reduce h dig
nifty OF the traffic cops.
Soldier John Kennedy. the dashing
policeman who stands in the middle
Of Fifth avenue at T~hirty-third street.
was complaining about this very thing
TO me the other day.
How do you like the new block sys-
TEN, John?" asked him.
Rotten he replied promptly and
completely. Block system is right.
1t only blocks up the street and, be-
sides that, takes away q mans lows
ality and makes a machine out of
him"
Until Soldier John began to be
chauffeur to a s~!gnpos1 which he
swings UP and down to let the main
stream OF traffic by and crosswavs to
accommodate the other drivers he used
10 be one of the most imposing sights
% fifth n The megaphone men
on the Seeing New York. buses
pointed him out to folks along with the
Vanderbilt houses and the public Ii
brary. / have been told that John haa
a notion tucked away somewhero 'Nat
some day he might win an heiress, but
what chance has a man to accomplish
when he is only running a s!gnpost?
Soldier John is as dignified as the
insurance picture of the Rock of Glib
raltar, and the reader e not have
10 be hit with a brick 10 be told why
they call him Soldier John.
The pedometer doctrine has resulted
in the sidewalk traffic becoming so
heavy now that Soldier Kennedy is
afraid he may be assigned to duty
with his wigwag post on the pave
ment. That wvSd be the ultimate
straw.
This latest health fashion, which
has prescribed a pedometer. leads to
all sorts of indiscretions A friend
OF mine thought 1t a good idea 10 COM
bine walking with dieting in order
10 endeavor TO reduce the complete
circumference of his waistline.
I'VE all eat too much" he GRATED
10 me Just after he had zee measured
for a pedometer. There is m use
talking. Since / have been walking