The Washington herald., 1915-02-07

CHAPTER ].
/ was scarcely a month old when that
tired feeling began to creep over ME. and
] realized that my future had been taken
out of my hands and settled by Fate.
This saved me a lot of hard work. which
is the main thing to be avoided in this
life.
CHAPTER II.
He'll make a preacher" said my moth
er as she and father talked it over.
It's a politician he will become, an
nounced my father.
I ChuCkIed.
knew the old folks were off their base.
CHAPTER III.
I was only two years old when I took
my first nights sleep under a haysteck.
1t was 80 bulmy and refreshing that
ever since then l have pitied the folks
who were driven to sleep on hair mat
tresses.
| early cultivated a taste for raw tur-
nips and green apples, and soon had no
trouble in refreshing myself with sour
milk.
II believe on my soul he'll make a clerk
in a gas Office said my mother, as she
watched my attitude toward mankind:
Or be captain of canal boat. added
my father.
They were both wrong. Destiny was
leading me along.
CHAPTER ".
cultivated the feeling that l was bSrn
10 lOaI Wnen WASH ndIu dl NOih NlAu
u knife and fork. 1t also came natural
to me to study the dispositions of dogs:
Now and then l took walk into the
suburbs and selected two or three houses
and applied for broken yiCtuals.
They were always handed out with
smiles and words of cheer when the peo-
pie learned that ] was made an orphan
by the great Chicago fire, and had lost
all my aunts and uncles in the Pacific
shakc-Up.
1t was then I learned that Truth is
mighty and must prevail. My parents
caught on to my little game, and | was
handed from one TO the other until five
porous plasters wouldn't cover the raw
spots. but l stuck to the big fire and the
quake.
Which proves that. if child will bring
himself up in the right way his success
in life is assured.
CHAPTER V.
Left home at the age Of fifteen.
Might have left home at the age OF
twenty minutes and not hurt any ones
feelings beyond repair.
"Will you stay here and be elected 70
the legislature by a railroad corpora
tom asked my mother.
1T would be fraud on the honest pub
liC,' / answered.
will you become a pork barrel L. S.
SENATOR asked my father.
Il will not. / have got reputation to
maintain
They brought the minister to struggle
with me. and my mother locked the two
of us in d room that l might not run
away from him. There was no danger of
that. however l had the statistics at
hand. and I threw them at him.
What could the good man do when
those statistics showed beyond dispute
that there were nine failures In the min
istry to one in the tramp profession?
1t was he that raised the window and
crawled gently out.
CHAPTER VI.
Took the road with determination and
ambition, and the following list of all
ments in my vest pocket:
Consumptive cough,
Permanent backache.
Probable cancer of the stomach.
Seventeen different symptoms of Mr..
Bright's disease.
Liver supposed to have worked a foot
A tendency to break out with small
pox, cholera or yellow fever at the slight
est discouragement.
Refusal to hand out at the kitchen door
was considered grave encouragement.
CHAPTER VII.
In my time l have seen the agricul-
tural districts. They are all right. Also
the towns. There is hardly farm with
out its hOllyhocks and sunfiowers to-
cheer the weary wayfarer. and there is
hardly a town but that strives to make
it lively for the tramp.
There is not that sociability among the
farmers that you might justly expect, but
that Is partly because he has not yet
come to understand the tramp. He got
il in his head long ago that a man who
tramped was looking for work. whereas
the exact opposite is the case. He is look
ing for a place where there is no work.
He realizes that 1t is necessary for some
one to work, but he Is willing to let the
other fellow have the job. That's more
than nine out of ten of other sorts of
humanity are.
The sooner the delicately nurtured
tramp and the horny-hahded farmer sit