Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1915-07-07
II SOCIAL HOUR.


: THE SOCIAL HOUR. :
Good Bait.
A resident of Hudson, Wis, was deplor-
ing the resignation Of Senator Spooner.
1.-The senate can't afford to lose a mind
like that" he said. II know the man
we'll. He practiced law in this town for
fifteen years or hereabouts. He won
every case he set his and to.
ut yes no surprise to us Hudsonites
to find that John c. Spooner was The An
est legal mind in the senate. We knew
him Of old, you see. When he had a
him plead.
II remember to this day a story that
he once told in court in a case where
he was showing how. with a good mo-
tive. one might still do a lot of harm.
H said that two aged Scotch ministers
sat talking n day over their church,
warden pipes.
Last sawbath,' said the n Of
the two old men, only three folk cam
to my kirk and since it was an awfu'
cauld. snawy, stormy mornin'. I just took
them over to the manse, read a chapter,
gied them a prayer, and then. to ward
of the rheumatics, a guild stiff glass Of
the best whisky
1.-The other minister smiled.
"'Aweel,' he said. we will haze a fine con-
gregation, my brither, the next stormy
day."
Don't Take Away Their Pins.
N. II. Hartman said a New York
broker. talked LUMINOSITY the other day
He said we must be careful not to lesis-
late too harshly against the country's
vested interests. or the prosperity of these
interests. n with it the country's pros
perity would be impaired.
HE illustrated his meaning with a
story.
''There was a school teacher, he said.
who exclaimed impatiently one after
noon:
Johnny Jones. what are you fumbling
with there?'
Johnny hung his head and was silent.
But the t~ell-tale Of tfN class spoke up:
It's a pin he's g,NNaa'am.'
Well, a it from him. said the
teacher, n bring 1t here to me-
This was done. and then, In a molli-
fled voice. the teacher said:
Now, Johnny Jones, get UP and recite
your history lesson
But Johnny Jones did not obey. He
blushed, hung his head and sat still.
:" Johnny said the teacher, rise, I tell
you.'
Then the little fellow blurted out dis
| tressfully:''
Il can't. ma'am. That there pin you
took is what holds my trousers up"
-
Moral Nature n the Appendix.
Cling to your appendix with both hands.
says the clerk of the day In the Boston
Transcript. Rev. Samuel Van Vranken
Holmes. Who preached at Harvard. has
furnished the clerk with documentary evil
dence regarding the inestimable value Of
| appendices. In Buffalo, where he minis
ters to a large and influential church. he
has lately been involved in a little I'M
pleasantness with the Torreyites. 1t
CHANGED that his course of addresses on
the modern view of scripture synchronized
with the Torrey meetings and drew down
upon him the rebuke Of that mighty evan
gelist; whereupon his mails grew heavy
with letters of protest. One Of those
epistles ran something k this:
Sir: I understand now why you have
been led astray by the higher critics. 1t
Is less than a year. I am told, since you
underwent the operation for appendicitis,
and any physician will inform YOU that
when the vermiform appendix comes out
the patient suffers the total loss Of his
moral nature. THIS explains your case
| pretty clearly"
In Doubt.
From Harper's Weekly.
A certain young man who, according to
all the accepted notions, should be very
happy at this time. was found by q friend
the other day, with q somewhat trouhied
look upon his face.
Whats the matter. old mani? Haven't
had . tilt have your" the friend inquired.
"N-no." was the reply, accompanied BY
q sigh. Fact 10" he continued. in : bur.t
Of confidence. I've been thinking over .