El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-03-13
:: "Mr Dooley" on the Literature of the War - H.
Warren dmy

-Pethrograd. semi-officyal'
~Th' idee iv tn pOtes is TO encour-
age young fellows to enlist i'm tn ar
rmy an become a casualty in an on
ivintful day at IN front Ye can see
a athleet settin' at a football game
readin' a pOme like this an THROWN
mp his job to march TO tn field II
glory.
Appeal to tn Lower Glasses to
fight rr their nations honor
Who. at this hour OF Britain's need,
Can give q thought to self
What degin'r rate son iv Alfred see
Can have an eye on pelf:
Lowbrowed an smelly as ye ARE
A savage an lout,
Than ueighbor. betther sojer far,
Enlist, so on, get OUT
.CCopyright. 1915. All rights re-
sarved. In-fringmint viii be prose-
cuted. Publications wishiu' TO print
these stirrin' pathriOtic lines VIII
write to pote's banker. enclOsln certl-
fled cheeky
an all tn time this bloodthlrsty
business is goin' on. III soJers are IN
tn threuches a few feet firm each
other an not cross at all It's like
what We see a a prize fight IN Two
burlies i'm tn ring ARE good-natured
an friendly. smilin' an. shakin' hands
r
in tn most businesslike way IN IN
wurruld- But at tn rinEside yen see
a lot iv la-ads with pale, yellow faces
an long hair an a cigarct cough, 81
lows. mind We, that cudden't punch a
hole through a pound " lard or wan
IL Willum Jennings Bryan's lectures
an they're hollerin'- xiii him. Muir
Their him. They're tn potes, tn On'y
difference bein' that tn pOtes demand
pay fr encouragin' mauslaughter. ]
rrn
amt laCkiu' i'm nerve tt takes some
courage to blow ye'er little tin whistle
in tn sthreet when tn cannOns are
roariu' near by
might say bitches, ar-re tn sojers. far
removed firm tn shriekin' lithrs~Hoor.
happy an cOntint They re not angry
with each other II they were they
wudden't be able to shoot straight- 1t
Wud be foolish fr thin TO call each
other III names that an English bishop
viii fire at a German bishop. They
have TO live an die as neighbors- TIL
pG-apers say their threnches ARE On'y
a few feet apart They talk 10 each
other tn way We an I might talk,
leanin' on tn backyard fence. They
thrade tobacco. drink an newspapers
Whiu they wake up it's 'GOoteu NOR
gen, Fritz Bong joOr, CASTOR How
did We sleep. Pretty ialr. wan "
yeer barthries dropped a siNteen-inch
shell into our little dugOut. an IL
didn't bust an I usedj it IF a pillow.
HoWs IL with ye- got bad news
firm home Tn wife writes me that
me little girl has got III humps 'Ye
don't tell me so. Dear me. dear me.
It's too bad Throubles niTer come
single. do they2 That was tn little
girl We tor me about that recited so
fine Well, there's wan thing about
il. it ant SeeryOus in kids. but ye'd
betther not go home till it's over. It's
very ketchin' an dangerous TO grown
up people
Look out. there, Don't poke yer
head so high or III have 10 shoot We
&c on. We cuddenr hit my head If il
was as big as tn Crown Princes II
We have a pinch iv tobaccy. wud We
kindly poke il over on tn end iy ye'er
baynit- say. LOOey, have We found
out what this war is all about amy
how Faith. Hans. I give III Up long
ago. All I know il that tn on'y differ
enCe between sojer and a ditch dig
ger is that q ditch digger goes home
afther he's dug tn ditch. an a sOier
digs IN ditch an thin lives in it An
so they go on gassin' till III Ordher
comes to kill each other
Il shuddent think a pOte cud write
tn kind iv stuff we've read 10 me"
said Mr. Hinnissy.
II don't think wan wud," said Mr..
DOoley.