The menace. [volume] (Aurora, Mo.) 1911-1920, 1915-10-16

Naaa-Na4f AAahaaAt1f anu IAAAANa
the head, "LucreEiA BorgA" The
thing 10 . delicious but deadly bit
Of satire, and is herewith given;
Laerssia Borgia vas . lady vho lived
In Italy 200 years ago and vhoss rsputa-
ton 10 n0u beng dry cleaned after hav-
Ing been alluded 70 with sosrn Gnd horror
for several esaturisA
LuereEia vas tAs dangktsr Of old nan
BorgiA, Who vAs . BIG noise In Italy And
vas . Cardinal a q time vhsn the clergy
dispeAssd - much morality 70 the people
hat u tidnt have any left for itself
Al that ttns . daughter vas % valuable
an Aasst that The assessors eonadsred list
ing hsn ~ personal property and the
man who had three OF four handsoms
daughters could very easily maks . luH.
urious living a. a fAiherin.lAu.
When LuersEiA was eleven years Of age,
her father married her 70 q Spaniard
who had plenty Of money and a good
political pull However, no sooner had
hs done this than he discovered 20 his in
dignation that be could have gotten a
better offer from an Italian lord. In
thoss days people did not stand on petty
formalitisa BorGiA promptly annulled
the marriage and married his daughter
Al over again AZ q handsome premium.
BorgiA, hevevsr, was climbing % fast
that his daughter was doubling In value
every year. This made the young lord
vsry pass AZ . husband, and presently
this marriage was Annulled. This time
Bora got . Duks for . son.tn-lav and
IN a. -
Dukss In his political business, he being
pope 81 . time when the tenure Of onAss
vas vsry presHrious and sveutful.
HsvsysT, . split in the party soon took
Plaes and the DUKE got on the wrong ids.
Per this he was soon murdered By his
bro.ner-in-lav, and then Lusrssia .
father, with . glad cry, advertised her
for marriage once more and began look.
ing ever The market
By this time prospective sons-ts-lau
were . httie ny owing 20 the consistent
bad luck Of the former incumbents, but
the son Of the DUKE Of Florence took q
chance, and at % LueTezia became n
blushing bride for the fourth time.
Lueresia has been greatly criticised in
history for her industry in collecting
husbands, and the circumstances under
which at least one Of them expired. But
Il IL now admitted that she was merely
an obedient daughter and would have
married the whole Almanaeh de GothA 10
please her father. She lived many years
quite happily with her last husband and
she is entitled 10 az least as much respect
as the modern women who marry long
series Of husbands with no consent but
that Of the divorce judge.
Apology Quickly Follows
This gave an awful jolt to the
papal sensibilities, but George
didn't care. The owner Of the
Star -Gdsstts did, however, after the
matter had been brought to his at
tention by his Romish masters. AS
sort Of penance the paper was re-
quired to eat crow, humble pie, and
every description Of Romish dirt.
Next day (wonder they didn't get
out an extra for the purpose the
same dayD appeared in the edito-
rial columns an apology as abject
as it was ungrammaticaL Here 1t
is:
AN APOLOGY
The Star-Gdfetfe wishes TO apologize 70
its readers for the Vest Pocket Essay by
George Fitch published last night on
Lucrezia Borgia. It's rejection on the
church was not detected till il had been
published, or IL surely would have been
eliminated.
Mr.. Fitch's writings are invariably
high class, interesting and humorous
They more clearly approach MARI
Twain's style than anything available
and are q feature greatly appreciated BY
all.
That IN this one case he offended some
readers unintentional In his faoetious
style is a cause for deep regret on the
part Of the publishers, who do not eoun'
tenanee such references.
Can you beat 1t for SlsTish ser
vility7
And a most inadvertent individ-
ual must have written that syco.
phantic slush. Invariably" you
know, means without exception. An
unintentionsl truth, in this case.
Certainly Is Pathetic
Funny, but Just above this spol.
ogy appeared another brief editorial,
headed, 'sThe Explanation Doesn't
Excuse" Maybe those heads got
switched in. the makeup. More
sad accidents can happen in that
Office than in any other i know.
In Elmira, BY the way, Roman.
ism splits $3.50 With Professionalism
in the census enumeration.
/ recall how once when / wa
holding down the city editors desk
on the Rocky Hount6ia Neps, Den,
yer, i allowed the obnoxious word
'Romish" to get BY in q hastily
scanned piece Of church copy. The
criminal thing fortunately wa.