The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
IF YOU WANT TO BE INVITED AGAIN

invitation may be followed after the
function by a note of appreciation. Es-
pecially is this true when you have en-
joyed an evening or a meal in some
home circle Your friends will appre-
ciate the extra mark of courtesy, and
YOU will be Icss hurried about making
YOUR subsequent caH. Only a most care
less person allows over two days to pass
before sending a letter appreciation after
an extended visit at friends home.
Conversely is the second very impor-
tant factor IN gaining social popularity.
This does not necessarily mean being
ready.conversationali for a good lis
tenerk more TO he envied than a flu
ent taIker. Its real meaning is to show
true interest in whatever is taking
place. and Yet to retain sufficient of your
own personality to command the interest
OF others. 10 this respect the second
and third part of the rule of three that
makes for popularity are very closely
allied
To begin with. conversation in 'socIs:
life implies the exchange of thoughts on
an equal basis. To ascertain what th4
standard of your listener may be, quCs
tiOns are the very best method Learn first
on what ground the person with whom
you arc convcrsing will meet you, and 90
not scorn the asking of commonplace
questions to find this out. Personal ques-
tions, however. are barred except IN
very general way. and when used should
be worded so that the person answering
may avoid a direct reply if he wishes.
Once you find the subject in which your
companion is interested, try to see his
view of it, rather than your own. Keep
your decided opinions in the background
unless they are specially asked. Make
the other PERSONS hobbies and fads
seem to he your immediate concern, and
by no means allow your attention to be
distracted. Your thoughts as well as
your looks must convey consideration.
Tho voice counts tremendously in con-
vcrsatiOn. Speak with musical tOncs.
ACcustom Your ear TO catch any harsh
or jarrinG note that YOU may utter. An
authority on this subject says to use
only the low pitch of the voice. as this
is always sweeter and more convincing.
Speak slowly and distinctly that the per
son with whom you are conversing will
not be obliged to ask you constantly to
repeat.
Do not emphasize what you say with
movements of your hands or feet or
with contortions of the face. Leave this
to people on the stage who in playing 70
a mixed audience need to use evely
means at their command to express the
different emotions.
In private life the most refined and
cultured members of society retain al
ways the quietest and calmest manner
of saying and doing everything. This is
an invaluable aid in the exCh anGe of
thoughts and ideas. for it allows the
other person to think of what you are
saying rather than of what you are do
ing. Furthermore, this repose of man
ner is a delicate compliment to your COM
panion. who Immediately feels that You
are not anxious to be somewhere else.
In other words. it puts him perfectly at
his case.
A pitfall into which the youthful con-
versationalist is always in danger of
falling is the use of slang words that
have not been accepted as legitimate.
An occasional use OF the more usual of
the newly coined words and phrases is
not so serious a mistake some would
have It. However, girls especially have
to avoid rough modes of expression.
which invariably mar a pleasant conver-
Sation.
There is one trick which the successful