South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-01-30
Statesmen Real
and Near.
BY Fred c. Kelly

WASHINGTON, Jan. 30.-A young
man down in South Carolina pestered
Rep James Byrnes of that state for
several weeks to get him a nice little
government job. After a time Byrnes
wrote him that he was unable to find
any roll top desk jobs such as the
young mans commanding abilities and
sterling character should entitle him
to. but that he might be able TO get
him something in the forest service
a position, as Byrnes explained, that
would take him out into Gods great
outdoors.
The applicant fastened to Washing
ton TO qualify and was employed at 50
a day as assistant chair bearer of a
surveying party setting out for the
West Virginia hills.
He started on his new job in high
spirits, but when it came to riding a
horse up into the most forlorn hills
he had ever seen he began to lose in
terest At first he and his chief en-
gagged in desultory conversation, but
after riding along for few miles our
hero said less and less until finally he
lapsed into complete silence.
They came TO a fork in the road.
Right here is where you are to
camp" the chief told him. III show
you how to pitch your tent and then
meet you here tomorrow"
Nav nav, you're mistaken" said
the young man. I'm not a-going to
camp here"
you'll obey orders. won't your in
quired the chief.
You don't seem to understand. -
replied the young man. have re-
signed my job. / may not have said
anything about it at the time. but
resigned seven miles down the road. y
All manner of persons having per-
sistent notions about one thing and
another drift about the capitol of the
United States. and many of these
drop in frequently at the outer office
of the speaker of the house. Wallace
, Bassford. secretary TO Speaker Clark
is reasonably calm. well-poiseo
young man, but the other day it oc-
Cured TO him that he suffered more
/ than his share of association with
various types OF bores. AS he sal
rejecting over the number OF human
nuisances who were regular visitors
at his Office. he picked up his pencil
and began to jot down the names OF
the most pestiferous.
AS he was putting these names or
paper the door opened and there en-
tered a nuisance Of the third magni-
tude whom Bassford had forgot al
about and overlooked when making
out his roster Of bores.
Prior 10 that time Bassford had
always been polite and alfable 10 the
visitor. out his mood was such at that
moment that the caller was the finaI
straw.
Say" began BassfOrd. sternly
I've Just this second finished writing
down the names Of the 10 worst
pests that come 10 this office. I'll be
doggoned if I'm going 10 allow the
list 10 grow To eleven. So get out OF
here"
Rep. Sam Winslow OF Massachu-
sets would be taken at first glance
for a fat man. He weighs some SlO
pounds and even after thorough
size-up one might insist that he Is a
fat man. Perhaps he is. But Wins
low likes 10 emphasize the point that
there are lines of beauty ucmistak-
able. even in fat man. 10 him who
Is enough Of a cOnnoisseur 10 see. II
a heavy man has the same measure
ment about the chest as about the
waist declares WinslOw. tapping his
stomach. impressively. he Is still en-
title 10 every courtesy
3e that as il may. Winslow was al
a meeting one day OF the house COM
mittee on the District Of Colum bia.
\ proposition was mn for the govern