The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1915-02-11
BAGS CHRISTOPHER
BY HOWARD DWIGHT SMILEY.
(Copyright.)

Smith and ! drove back from town
one day and found Bagley sitting on
the piazza, holding big grasshopper
between his forefinger and thumb and
looking speculative.
Friends" says he, did you ever
stop to think OF the vast possibilities
based on the construction Of these
little insects?"
i've observed the vast results.
based on the destruction Of things
vegetable and otherwise by those lit
tie insects, If that is what you mean
answered Smith.
(Which it amt" replied Bag.
"What mean is, supposing that this
grasshopper was as large as horse
and as strong in proportion, just think
of the terrific speed that could be OBJ
tanned from such a creature; why.
mounted on such a beast, one could
outdistance the fastest locomotive in
the world. The idea Is wonderful.
friends, wonderful"
William says Smith to me sor-
rowfully, "he wants to cross a grass
hopper with horse and ride the re-
suit. That Is the limit. VIII you
throw him down and sit on him while
| ride to town and wire the asylum
to send attendants out after him? It's
an awful way to use partner, but
man amt safe running at large with
such ideas as that in his head
That's just the way" growled Bag.
This is what comes of a man Of
brains associating with such ditch dig
gers as you two. You can go to blazes.
and | will prove the Possibilities OF
my idea II it takes every cent I've
got" And off he went, mad as a
wet cat.
Later in the day Smith and drove
down and found out from the ticket
agent that he had purchased a ticket
to ST. Louis He had informed the
agent that he might be gone for sew
eral weeks. and that was all we could
learn as to his whereabouts and in
tentions.
1t was a month before Bag returned.
He came down the road one day In
the lead of a dozen wagons, loaded
with lumber and a lot OF packing
boxes; with him were several carpen-
ters and slim, cadaverous man.
They unloaded the wagons down
back Of the barn, and Bag immediate
ly put the carpenters to work build
ing what turned out to be a shedlike
structure, about sixty by forty feet
square. When this was finished the
packing boxes were moved inside, and
Bag and the slim fellow got busy.
Another month rolled by, and then,
one day, the big front doors of the
shop we're thrown open and out Of it
crawled an object that caused the top
of my head to give frst-class imita-
ton OF a cat on fence-post talking
to a dog
IT was all OF twenty-five feet long.
with eyes two feet wide, and it looked
so natural that | honestly thought it
was alive.
Waddling into the front yard, it
stopped A little door In its side
opened and Bag stuck his head out.
Are you gentlemen still Of the opin-
ion that am fit subject for an in
sane asylum" he inquired sarcastic
ally.
Bag didn't wait for us to reply, but
closed the door, and a moment later
the grasshopper gathered its legs un-
der 1t and jumped.
1t rose into the air as gracefully as
a bird, and shot Off across the fields
like bullet.
When II lit 1t was a mile away; 1t
Immediately rose again, and in six
Pretty soon It came sailing back,
about two miles to the south of US,
and disappeared in the east. For an
hour we watched il come and go from
all directions, until finally II came
shooting back from the direction in
which 1t first started and landing
squarely In front Of the shop door.
crawled in.
Bag was the happiest man alive. He
had forgotten all about his crouch.
Friends" says he, ALLOW me to in
troduce you to Prof Albertus Ether
idge. the foremost scientist and in
ventor in these United States or any
other country.
1T Is with his assistance that have
succeeded in perfecting this most Won
derful achievement of human genius:
Bagley's Automatic Grasshopper and
Marine Waterbury,"
IT'S wonderful. Bag" says ! hum
bly,. What's II made OFF"
aluminium" he answered Built
in exact proportion to the ordinary
grasshopper, even to weight and
strength propelled by ten thousand
horsepower engine, invention of the
professors With one barrel OF gaso-
line we can encompass the earth"
While he was talking crowd OF
about fifty very excited farmers,
armed with shotguns. horse pistols and
pitchforks, came galloping up
Did you see EN-" they yelled
See what" answered bag Whats
the matter with you folks"
"Grasshoppers!' answered one
"Grasshoppers as big as barns! Thew
are loose I'm Kansas We must run