The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1915-03-15
The Colonel's Duel
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1915, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate
By M. QUAD

After supper dozen or more OF us
congregnted in the hotel office for
smoke, and presently the landlord came
among MS to say:
Gentlemen, we have a fire eater In
this town named Colonel Sebastian.
He has several peculiar theories Of his
own, and | wish to post you in adj
vance. He is very strong in his tax
and should you differ with him he VIII
challenge you to duel. The colonei
is dead shot and | hope you'll take
friendly tip and not engage In
discussion. Let him have his own
way and never mind what he says
The colonel had never killed any one
vet, but that he stood ready to do so
If his opinions were disputed the land
lord felt dead certain, and so we agreed
TO agree with the colonel If he came
in-all but one. The exception was the
smallest and the most humble looking
man among the guests. No one knew
that he had made up his mind TO OPP
pose the colonel, and when the iatter
entered, half an hour later, he picked
him out of the crowd as a good man to
go for. He got alongside OF him ana
after bit turned on him with:
perhaps you have not been inform
ed that am the originator of the idea
that all men were once animals OF
some sort and that perfection has been
reached only after many centuries of
timer"
mo, sir, haven't" was the prompt
reply.
but / am. subj and what do you
think of the ideaY'
"What idea?"
"Why, the one just stated. / think
you heard me. subj think you did.
"Oh, / remember! Well, don't train
with that crowd, thank heaven!'
"Suh, do you know what you are
saying?' cried the colonel.
~ do"
"And that your language, sun, Is
personally offensive-personally offen-
sivel'
"I'm sorry you belong to the crowd
who furnishes great ideas"
Crowd, sub! Why, you have gross
ly insulted me and must at once apol-
ogize or accept a challenges!
Bring on your challenge, colonel!
"Then you will fight me, suh?'
Certainly. Just name time, place
and weapons. BY the way, | want to
leave in the morning. Can't we fight
in the billiard room, out in the yard,
up in my room? No use waiting until
tomorrow"
"And youll fight me. subj" gasped
the colonel
with the greatest Of pleasure, and
III bet a thousand dollars to shilling
| kill you. Where can we get swords,
rifles, pistols or bowie knives? am
just aching to fight you.'
Were you told about me, sub, befo
I appeared here this evening"
ooh, yes"
"You were told that ! was Colonel
Sebastian"
II believe that was the name"
"The Colonel Sebastian Of the Fiji
teenth Texas"
"Yes, the Tenth or the Fifteenth"
"who led the charge at Malvern
HIP
ut was something like that"
"Not only one charge. sub. but three
three desperate charges!"
"They say i've, but let II go at
three"
And, subj" said the colonel as he
frowned like a bushel OF carpet tacks,
did you hear that ! was duelisty
something was said TO that effect"
"And that had had twelve affairs
Of honahY
"Only twelve. colonell why I under
stood Il was twenty" replied the 9th
er. "well. this one VIII make you thlr.
teen"
"Yes, suh-yes. sub. win You honah
me by giving your nameT"
Name? Please excuse me for my
forgetfulness. Did you ever hear OF
General ChilversT
'why-why"-
"Of the Louisiana Tigers
"WhO-w what
.who led nine desperate charges At
second Bull RUM"
BLESS me. subj
"And who has Killed three times the
number OF men that you have In
duelsT'
General Chilvers"-
"Never mind that. colonel You have
challenged me. and ! accept let us
have Il ever with a. soon a. possible.
a. 7 have some business 20 attend 20. {"
General Chilvers"-
Il choose pistols. and ! don't think
u viii detain me over I've minutes.
Where shall We eoT'
The colonel swallowed his Adams
apple three or four times and then
asked.
"YOu-you won't apologizeT
NO. SIR. never My object y % kiG
you and get a theorist on the earth.
Hurry up. or may not be able 10 bold
Fnranfff-f