davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
The League of One Dish
By DR.. Frank Crane

League Two Dishes
repast
of One DISH
which attached which
adduce supporting the propositions
the and surely this budding
another than
that"-C. P. Piny.
Addison, fashionable
it's magnfcence, fancy ehar
with other innumeabe ambucade
eating too much.
Of all denominations established unscientfc the
abomnabe the table doe The formula the
into numbering the stomach and it's co-workers.
relish the assorted things otherwise
salt fish, olives radishe celery what
by
vegetables salad frozen punch
and cordial With all this youmix wine perhaps
What human can resist this of aes Any of them enough
satisfy appetite
Much better health would good
his breakfast bowl appzng
dinner with apple between meals
fabby
brains inefficient nothing dull
such systematic gutony!
Eating ought to be joy is undefed if
p But when feed
homes where cooking
foods and where would
disguised aided eating
criminal joy, bringing disasters in its train.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Diqnif1ed Retirement

still remember the dgnifed retirement of Benjamin
United States Those
Arthur All regarded with accorded to politicians
public Harrison
whose
and thoughtfuly
exPeden might well
from o history
xPresident Roosevelt probably hopeless but the country
shocked the squabbe which Mr. Taft
gotten
making himself the of the of his predecessor
become involved
controversy the Philippines with Secretary Garrison
Careful of the will have difficulty
Mr. Ta
friends separated from the payroll
and whose he has regardless
the President based hearsay
further
ex-Presdnts?" question that
be "NIuzzle them."-
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25

Ex-President Taft and ex-President
Roosevelt run "neck-and-neck," the
former with a vote of fifty-one and
the latter with vote of forty-seven.
Among other possibilities men
toned in the Literary Digest's poll
are Senator Weeks, of Massachusetts,
Senator William Alden Smith, of
Michigan and Congressman Mann.
If the Republican party is to regain
anything like it's old-time solidarity,
Colonel Roosevelt and his ardent fol-
lowers must be reckoned with. The
Boston Record has "no choice other
than Roosevelt" but that journal
says the progressives will vote for
"any reasonably liberal Republican
candidate on a fairly liberal plat
form; but "to secure the full pro-
gressive support" it adds, "the Re-
publicans must meet them half way"
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Christmas.

The coming of Christmas is hailed
as a time of joy in every land where
civilization is known. Through some
mystic force the psychology of which
is inexplicable, this noted day of the
Savior has turned aside all creeds,
all faiths, and occupies place in the
hearts of all mankind. Christmas
is time of good cheer, joy, happi-
ness, good will and charity, as well
as thanksgiving. No other one day
is celebrated by all nations, no other
day is so hallowed of all men. 1t is
inconceivable in it's influence, and its
power is only accountable through
the psychic force of the great prin-
ciple represented in the life of Him
in whose memory the day is pre-
served. Poets have sung it's praise;
scholars have acknowledged it's power,
and told of it's influence, but none
has yet accounted for it's tremendous
hold upon the whole world. The
power of Christmas cannot be told
in words. Its hold upon our hearts
must merely be acknowledged-it
cannot be explained.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Devotion

O Mary, at thy window be,
1t is the wished, the trysted hour!
Those smiles and glances let me see,
That make the miser's treasure
poor.
How blythely wad bide the stoure,
A weary slave frae sun to sun,
Guild / the rich reward secure,
The lovely Mary Morison
Yestreen, when to the trembling
string
The rance gaed through the
lighted ha',
To thee my fancy took it's wing,
I sat, but neither heard or saw:
Tho this was fair, and that was
Draw,
And yon the toast of the toun,
I sighed, and, said among them a.,
eye are ma Mary Morrison"
O Mary, canst thou wreck his peace,
Wha for they sake wad gladly die
Or canst thou break that heart of his
Whase only faut is loving thee?
If love for love thou wilt ma gle,
At least be pity to me shown!
A thought ungentle Gamma be
The thought O. Mary Morrison.
Robert Burns.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Republican Forecast.

1t has been many years since so
many aspirants for the Republican
nomination for President have been
noted. If the name of each "favorite
son" is presented to the Chicago con-
vention in a nominating speech, it
would take a month, nearly, to reach
adjournment. That the convention
must be lively one is foregone
conclusion.
In this connection a recent number
of the progressive and enterprising
weekly, "The Literary Digest" has
recently completed canvas on presi-
Dental possibilities.
Seven hundred and fifty-one replies
to the questions asked by this i'm
partial publication were received,
and the majority of the men eX-
pressing themselves agree that the
tariff will be the supreme issue next
year.
AS to preference for candidates,
249 favor Elihu Root and 152 favor
Justice Charles E. Hughes. But each
of the "favorite sons"-and there are
many of them-polled sufficient
strength to keep them in the run
ming.
The presidential possibilities of the
middel west and western states in
clude ex-senator Theodore E. Burton,
of Ohio, ex-Vice President Charles
Fairbanks, of Indiana, Senator
Lawrence Y. Sherman, of Illinois,
Senator Albert B. Cummins, of Iowa,
Senator w. E. Borah, of Idaho and
Governor Hiram johnson, of Cali
fornia.
Mr.. Burton, listed as "Ohio's only
choice" is strong not only in his sec
ton, but he runs we'll also across
the country"
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Songs For The Damned.

It's not an easy matter for modern
poets to find new themes to sing
about, but it looks like Breton Braley
well--known newspaper poet, has
developed an original realm for
rhymsters.
Braley is not major poet, but he
frequently strikes a true chord. He's
a bit eccentric, which fact was mani
tested the other day when he &C.
companied Henry Ford's peace party
to Europe, and got married just as
the. vessel was about to leave New
York harbor
1t is easier for poets to sing of
roses and lovers than of toilers for
bread, but Braley has found some
poesy in the latter, and his rhyme to
"The Smoke Eaters" as he terms
the furnace workers in the great
mills of the manufacturing belt,
closely approaches the classic. Here
is an excerpt:
He stands in the middle of He'll and
grins
Where a salamander would choke,
His hides constructed of elephant
skins,
His diet is sulphur smoke.
And all he does is play with fire
The whole of the workin' day
An breathe hot smoke to his hearts
desire
AS long as he draws his pay.
There's much more of the same
sort in Braley's new volume, which
deals with sailors, cow-punchers,
muskers, trainmen-all of the Gin
dustrially damned" who do the
worlds work where brawny bodies
are the chief essential.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
DisgracefuL PaIisade Conditions

Without specifying any other por-
tions of the borough in an equally
bad fix, the sidewalks of Palisade
have been in a disgraceful condi-
ton ever since the big snow of De-
cember IL. The situation is not
creditable to the borough author
ties in the slightest degree, and while
there may be excuses offered, there
is no warrant whatever for the in
famousness of the outrage. 1t is
state of affairs especially hard on
little children who were forced to
trudge their way to and from school
in snow, rain and slush, and not the
slightest effort made to ameliorate
conditions. Not only was it bad for
the children but dangerous as we'll.
1t is said that the excuses offered
by the powers in Fort Lee was that
81 900 was spent on snow removals
last year and that labor was scarce
this year. Both pretty punk excuses.
But the whole thing proves how "ef-
ficiency" isn't workable when capa-
city is lacking. 1t is all very we'll to
know about good business" but is
quite different matter to put it in
to effect Campaign promises are
now being fulfilled with a vengeance,
if this is a fair sample. The Dor
ough's failure to remove the snow
is an everlasting shame. That's
about the size of it.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Demand of German Women.

Socialist leaders in this country
have received copies of a manifesto
of German women addressed to the
Socialist members of the German
Reichstag, asking them to take &C
ton on the high prices of foodstuffs.
'sIn Berlin and other localities
there is a great bitterness over the
increases in prices of food" says
the manifesto. "The high prices
have created considerable rioting
among the unorganized masses and
also among the organized masses.
"But the question of high food
prices does not stand out as an iso-
lated question. The question hangs
together with the entire war policy
of the government, and cannot be
solved as long as the people are in
entire consonance with everything
the government does and what is to
be accomplished by means OF the
war. While the government strives
to Cypress and exploit the inhabi-
tants of other countries through con-
quest, so does the government de-
mand the severest exploitation and
oppression of it's own people during
the war.
"The government allows the steel
and iron and coal magnates and the
land owners free hand in the mat
ter of the raising of the prices of
all necessities of life. Only with
reference to the trade of small bust
ness men and middle men does it
make an effort at regulation of
prices.
"Since all protests of the Socialist
Deputies against high prices of food
hsxe been unheeded, it behooves the
Deputies',to attempt other methods.
1t is of the greatest necessity to
establish the freedom of the press 50
that the latter can fight for low
ering of the prices of food. But
only stricter censorship has been ex-
ercised.
"Many party organs have been
suppressed throughout the country be-
cause they contained articles against
an increase in the price of food
stuffs.
"In Berlin the military commander,
Herr Won Kessel, has given orders
to the press to allay public discomfort
by eulogizing the government.
"It has also been forbidden to
criticise the government in any way.
Every publicity concerning the griev
ances of the agrarians is punished in
Berlin as breach of the peace by
the official censors and threatened
with penalties"
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Is There a Santa Claus?


From The Sun of September Fl, 1897
We take pleasure in answering at
once and thus prominently the COM
munication below, expressing at the
same time our great qualification
that it's faithful author is numbered
among the friends of The Sun:
"Dear Editor: am years old.
"Some of my little friends say
there is no Santa Claus
"Papa says If you see it in The
Sun it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there
Santa Claus? Virginia O'Hanlon.
"115 West Ninety-ffth Street."
Virginia, your little friends are
wrong. They have been affected by
the scepticism of sceptical age.
They do not believe except they see
They think that nothing can be
which is not comprehensive by their
little minds. All minds, Virginia,
whether they be mems or children's,
are little. In this great universe of
ours man is mere insect, an ant, in
his intellect, as compared with the
boundless world about him, as meas
ured by the intelligence capable of
grasping the whole of truth and
knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa
Claus. He exists as certainly as
certainly as love and generosity and
devotion exist, and you know that
they abound and give to your life
it's highest beauty and joy. Alas!
dreary would be the world if there
were no Santa Claus. 1t would be
as dreary as if there were no Vir-
ginias. There would be no child
like faith then, no poetry, no romance
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25

to make tolerable this existence. We
should have no enjoyment, except in
sense and sight. The eternal light
with which childhood fills the world
would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus? You
might as well not believe in fairies!
You might get your papa to hire
men to watch in all the chimneys on
Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus,
but even if they did not see Santa
Claus coming down, what would that
prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus,
but that is no sign that there is no
Santa Claus. The most real things
in the world are those that neither
children nor men can see. Did YOU
ever see fairies dancing on the lawn j?
Of course not, but that's no proof
that they are not there. Nobody can
conceive or imagine all the wonders
there are unseen and unseeable in
the world.
You may tear apart the baby's
rattle and see what makes the noise
inside, but there is a veil covering
the unseen world which not tn,
strongest man, nor even the united
strength of all the strongest men
that ever lived, could tear apart.
OnlV' faith fancy noa+rx, 1ovo
romance, can push aside that curtain
and view and picture the supernal
beauty and glory beyond. Is it all
real? All, Virginia, in all this world
there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he
lives, and he lives forever. A thou
sand years from now, Virginia, nay
ten times ten thousand years from
now, he will continue to make glad
the heart of childhood.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Lost

I may be dumb,
Likewise a jay,
But what's become
Of schedule K?
Cincinnati Enquirer.
I'd like also
To know what's done
With that old tike
16 to /?
-Wilkes-Barre Times-Leader
And what's become,
Oh, tell me pray,
Of our old friend,
Chancellor Day?
Allentown Democrat.
And where are
We may be COOP
The kids who used
To roll hoop?
Houston Post.
And tell me, pray,
If you but will,
Where is that old
Half dollar bill?
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
The Duffer

"Look at the ball." instructors say
keep your eye on the pill";
But tho / stand by the tee all day,
The old swing battles me still;
And out of the misery that's spelled
AS we rant and we cuss and rave,
Well join the chorus with Anna
Held
~ can't make my eyes behave"
-Grantland Rice.
"Look at the ball." instructors say
"Keep your eye on the pilP';
But though travel the links all day
And strive with an earnest will,
1 cannot glue my glim on tight,
Lest some rough, ill-mannered guy
Deprive me of half of my precious
sight
By putting pill in my eye?
w. Kee Maxwell in Peoria Journal.
"Look at the ball." instructors say
keep your eye on the pill";
But, ding it, I amt built that way
In spite of my hearty will.
When l am near enough to the ball
To swat it with niblick blunt,
cannot see the dinged thing at all
Because I'm too big in front!
Houston Post.
"Look at the ball." instructors, say
keep your eye on the pill";
But although l work hard all day,
And put up my best efforts, still,
When I glim the dinged ball,
And believe / can whack it's blamed
nose,
l generally fall on the mall
And smash myself over the toes.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Worry

We would not contradict the sage,
Yet we are puzzled some, because
If all the world is but stage,
Who's left to furnish the applause?
-Kee Maxwell, in Peoria Journal.
No argument would we engage
But one wee thought our system
jars;
eff all the world is but a STAGE"
Who's left to pay the twinkling
&C. A. Leedy, in Youngstown
Telegram.
If all the world is but stage,
And all the people actors-fne!
But listen while the show-girls
rage
Who's left to take them out to
dine?
-Rody McPhee, in Springfield Union.
If all the world is but a stage,
And all of us are actors, Pm
At William Bryan gonna rage
He wants the spotlight all the
time?
Houston Post.
If think we all the worlds a stage,
This makes the most of us it's
dupes;
And while we all grow gray with
age,
We wonder who will be the supes.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Virginia and Santa Claus.

To the Editor of The Sun-Sir:
Will you kindly publish any day be-
fore Christmas Virginia's question as
regards whether there is Santa
Claus, and your answer to her in
quiry, and oblige many of your de-
voted readers. Martin Flanagan.
New York, December 20.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25

Mr.. Chas. T. Logan, jr.,
Palisade, N. ].
Dear Sir: Enclosed you will find
check for $1.50, amount due for sub
scription to "The Palisadian" for
the year 1916. Thanking you for
your consideration in not cancelling
the subscription, as "The Palisadian''
is an extremely welcome visitor, l
remain,
Yours truly,
Chas. F. Haage.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Common Case

II wouldn't go out the end of every
act, my boy. Beastly bad form"
II don't go out to drink. I tele-
phone home and get bulletins from
the maid about the condition of the
pan under the icebox. My wife can't
enjoy the opera unless she knows
there is no danger of that pan run
ming kansas City journal.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25

An optical instrument factory in
New Jersey maintains a colony of
spiders to spin webs, which are used
for the cross lines in surveyors tele-
scopes.
An Englishman has invented a
machine for testing the wearing
Qualities of textiles or for comparing
the durability of two or more that
are similar.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
The Ladies Godblessum

No husband ever wants his wife to
call on him at his Office during bust
ness hours, except upon his invita-
tion.-Ted Robinson, in Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Nor other mems wives, either.
Am / right ?-Houston Post.
AS Hans Lobert would say, "V-e-ll,
dots differ-r-r-r-ent."
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-12-25
Another Subscribers
Encouraging Letter

Columbia Storage Warehouses
Office 176 and 180 West Goth Street
New York, Dec 81, 1915.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-05-21

June, when the Colorado river poured
water through the crumbling levee.
at Volcano Lake, a large section OF
cultivated area was ruined by the
floods. With an admirable pluck and
determination TO overcome disaster
the fields were re-seeded and this in
2 measure offset the financial losses
entailed.
Count Ward has been taxing the
Chronicle fer several years ard stat
ed that its arrival in London was al.
ways an interesting event for him. as
he was able to keep posted on Imper-
ial Valley matters. When in New
York City the count resides at the
exclusive Union Club. The distin-
guished visitors will spend consider
able time in Calexico and on the Co
copah Plantation.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-05-21
A n OLD REMEDY.

apply poultice boil The disease germs in the
delighted by that practice, for the poultce
perfect incubator for the germs and they multiplied and
spread the sore beautifully.
Now with the sort of affliction the victim ap-
plies antisepc wash that kills the germs and the
heals quickly.
The American nation was for years afflicted with
bos in the form of microbes of predatory wealth. and in
pretense of remedy the Republican party for years in
with delight as they multiplied.
Then antiseptic of popular rights ap
Piled
Now there is Los Angeles banker perambuating
Southern California insisting return to the poutce
and it remains to be whether the people
of the nation will be carried away with this preachmen
of reaction.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-05-21
COUNT INSPECTING
HIS RANCH HERE

Calexico Chronicle: Count Ward
British nobleman of 101 Lauderdale
mansions, Lauderdale road. and with
London headquarters at the Trafalgar
building, arriH ed in Calexico this
eek and VII spend some time in
ssc = tie Cocopah Planta tion, the
56sl--cre ranch managed by Casey
-aDbot, Count Ward being heavily in
tcrested in the corporation. With the
count came Juan Felix Brandes OF
Santa Barbara. who is also a stock.
holder in the big ranch.
Count Ward came to New York ir
the Pennsylvania, the same vessel
which left Philadelphia a few days
otter the Lusitsnia was sunk by 1
German submarine. The Pennsylvania
caused much worry. as she was over
due several days before landing her
passengers in England. The count
stated Tuesday that no incident
marred the voyage and it could not be
found different from one made in
tines OF peace.
On Monday the count and M.
Drandes drove over one hundred miles
on an inspection trip in the vicinity
Of the Abbott ranch. visiting Black
Butte and other points of interest in
that locality. The Cocopah Plantation
which is commonly referred to as
the Casey Abbott ranch-has 1900
acres under cultivation. 2.Go0 acres Of
fhis amount being in cotton. Last
Imperial Valley press., 1915-05-21
Why Pay More?

One way fare between FL Centre
and Holtville, 35c; round trip, Coo.
Ride in comfortable motor cars on d
good roadbed.
Leave El Centre, 1880 a. m, 1900
nj, Loo, $40 and $50 p. m.
Leave Holtville, 700 and 900 a.
m; 1:30, 4:45 and 7:15 p. m.
HOLTON INTERURBAN RAILWAY
COMPANY-Adv
Imperial Valley press., 1915-05-21
Pianos for 500 for One Day Only

Next Saturday, Nay %, between the
hours of 9 a. m. and p. m. r. L.
Harrell will offer choice of any sec
ond hand piano in stock for S1O0
cash.
The cheapest piano in the list cost,
new. $3.50, and the most expensive,
$3.50.
Such well known makes as Fever
EFT, Sterlin, kohler & Campbell, etc.
will be on sale. 622 Main street, e
Centro.-Adv.
We move pianos and houses. Ed
Royce Transfer. 632 Main.-Adv.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-05-21
DOUTE THROUGH VALLEY.

~ From the text of the bill providing for SIS 100000
highway bonds, it appears the Yuma highway plan is full
~ acceptable to all sections of the valley The wording Of
the bill is:
can extension of the San Bernardino county state
highway lateral to the Arizona state ine the town
of Yuma Arizona via the cities of Brawey and Ell Cen
tro, in Imperial county, by the most direct and practical
route"
Which, of course, implies, that the state highway
will fork at FL Centro branch leading to San Diego
and the other to Los Angeles.
New Britain herald., 1915-10-15

at the straw-called it a high and noble sacrifice, and got rid of his hair It was a great little joke on the gods
 Gov. Hughes and the Fern Dish.
 Irwin Cobb thinks there were several thousand voters in New York state who didn't vote for Governor Hughes the first time he ran because lis pictures made him look so much like a man climbing out a fern dish.
 Cobb recalls that when the demo- cratic national convention nominated the Honorable John Kern of Indiana for vice president, several million Eumorists amateur and professional, simultaneously went 'Ba-a-a!' like a goat, and the whole continent, from shore to shore, rocked with laughter; for MT. Kern, although a worthy gen. tleman had one of those full-rigged faces.
 Dr. Woods Hutchinson, not always funny, rises to humorous eminence Tn ar article printed in Good House. keeping Magazine some time back. He makes several delightfully."- ironic remarks. He says, :. with the exception of hereditary badness, 1t may be broadly stated that in the
New Britain herald., 1915-10-15

great majority of cases, anyone who will keep himself in fairly fit and healthy condition and the scalp clean, we'll be likely to have fairly abundant, glossy, and durable hair If there were any truth in that statement, there would be nothing for us to do Lut to give up bathing and roll in the mud. Hutchinson recalls that Mark Twain was terribly discouraged with life when it occurred to him at the age of eight that every mortal morn ing of his whole life he would be com relled to go through the agony of washing his face and brushing his hair-365 times each year, and he might live to be seventy years!
 "'The real use of hair is to be brushed observes the doctor. It might be added that the noblest work of a brush is to weed the human potato patch.
 But perhaps the worlds leading humorist has come to light in Dr. Szekely, assistant in the hospital at Budapest. who has devised a method Of actually planting bald head with hair. He inserts fine silky speci- men of the pest in a hollow hyper dermic needle by means of gold wire