davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
NOTHING NEW IN JOKE LINE
Foolish 10 the Humorist Who Would
insist That This "Has Never
Been Sprung Before"

A reader of the Docket In New York
city cut out the item relating to the
dissolution of partnership, in which
one partner makes the statement that
chose who owe the firm will settle
with him, and those that the firm owes
will settle with Nose" and sends 1t
back to us with this notation: This
was an old chestnut when / lived In
-, which was In 1855"
To this charge we enter a plea Of
confession and avoidance. We con-
tend that the courts will take judicial
notice Of the fact that there is nothing
new under the sun, and in our judg-
ment the jokesmith is we'll within
his rights in resurrecting a joke
which was old in 1855.
The incident brings to mind the fol-
lowing story: 1.-THE editor of Mime
sofa newspaper back in the sos con-
cocted the following: 'Yon Yonson put
four sticks of dynamite in the stove
last Sunday to thaw them out. The
handles were nickel plated and only
cost $10.'" A professor Of English
literature In an eastern university
wrote a very interesting article on
this joke, claiming that it represented
a distinctly American brand OF humor
and that 1t could not have happened
in any other country or at any other
time.
But alas for the professor of Eng
lish literature-for there is nothing
new under the sun. Reference to II
Chronicles, Chapter 16, Verses IL and
13, produces the following:
II. And Asa In the thirty and
ninth year Of his reign was diseased
in his feet until his disease was ex-
ceedingly great; yet in his disease
he sought not to the Lord, but to the
physicians.
13. And Asa slept with his fathers.
Vests Docket
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
ACCOUNTS FOR OLD LEGENn
Simple Explanation OF the Age-OAt
Myth That Surrounds Nf1e
Golden Fleece.

In the legend of tie Golden Fleece
lies hidden the record OF an ancient
method of the Tiba~eni, the sons Of
Tubal, for the collection of gold The
north coast of Asia Minor produced
large quantities OF the precious metals.
as we'll as copper am iron. Gold was
found in the gravel, IN often happens
still in streams draiFi1g from copper
regions. The gold in copper ores
originally containing insignificant
amounts OF the precious metal, ac-
cumulates in the course Of ages, and
sometimes forms placers of astonish-
ing richness.
The. ancient Tibareni washed the
gold bearing gravel, first by booming.
which concentrated the gold into rela
lively small amounts Of sand. This
was then collected and washed through
sluices having the bottoms lined with
sheepskins. The gold would sink into
washed away in the swift current.
The skins were removed from the
sluices, the coarsest gold shaken out
and the fieeces, still glittering with
the yellow metal, were hung upon
boughs to dry so that the rest of the
gold might be beaten from them. and
saved. The early Greek mariners, wit
Messing this process, carried home
tales of the wonderful riches of land
where warlike race of miners hung
golden fleeces upon the trees in the
grove OF Ares.
After so many millenniums the
metalliferous country of Tubal-Cain
is once more coming into prominence
The natives still Gull the high-grade
copper ore, and break it into smalls
which they cover with wood and roast
to matte; they still work the matte Ia
forge-like furnaces to black copper,
which they ship to Alexandretta and
to Euxine ports. They still make the
famous carbonized iron that was cele-
brated as Damascus steel because II
was distributed through this mart to
the rest Of the world after receiving
finish by local Damaacene workmen.
These decadent methods, that give
a hint of the approved practice Of the
father Of metallurgy, will soon become
wholly extinct, for the modern miner
is studying the disseminated copper
ores of the Black sea coast. and
threatening to rekindle on a magnifi
cent scale the smoldering fires OF
Tubal- Cain.-Argonaut.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
(By J. G.. FULLER.)

CBy j. G. FULLER)
The proper housing of swine is best
accomplished by using central hog
house with a number of colony pens.
The large central house is well suited
for winter shelter and spring farrow-
ing. The portable houses are espe-
cially useful for housing different
classes and sizes of hogs in separate
fields, particularly during summer or
after narrowing.
Portable hog houses have been used
satisfactorily for a good many years.
They are quite generally in use by
breeders of pure-bred swine where
they often find it more satisfactory to
quarter but few animals together.
The farmer who produces swine for
the market and depends on a large
central hog house will also find few
portable pens very useful in separ-
ately housing odd lots of swine.
Some farmers prefer shed roof
hog house to the A-shaped cot. Six
feet four inches wide and eight feet
long makes a good size house. IN the
rear it is provided with door two
feet wide and two and one-half feet
long, the same size as lower front
door which is placed diagonally oppo-
site so that by opening all the doors it
makes a cool house in summer On
the other hand, by closing both lower
doors and opening an upper door
which is put in above the lower door
in front, so that ample ventilation is
provided, it makes warm house for
cold winter weather. 1t is very i'm
portant to have a door at the top in
front for it is serious mistake to
build these houses with but one open
ing, as is sometimes done. There is
no ventilation whatever, and in warm
weather the house becomes suffocat-
ing. The upper front door is ar
ranged with a wooden ratchet on the
back side, by means of which 1t may
be held in any desired position. BY
having hinges on the top, the storms
and hot sun cannot enter, and yet air
can circulate freely without causing
a draft on the animals.
To build the shed roof house, con-
struct the frame eight feet long by
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15

One piece 1 in by II in. by Is It.
for sides and ends.
One piece 1 in. by 6 in. by II #.
for braces and cross pieces for doors
Thirty-six pieces o. G. battens 10 It.
long for sides.
Thirteen pieces 1 in. by IL in. by
10 #. for roof.
For shingled roof it will require
100 feet of rough lumber IA feet long
and six lunches of shingles laid
four and one-half inches to the
weather A single roof is preferable.
A practical farmers sunlight hog
house may be constructed "a feet by
so feet with a four-foot alley. The
building should face the south. A
most substantial building may be built
with ends and sides, six feet in height,
of solid concrete, eight to twelve
inches thick. Nine windows arc
placed in the first elevation, four of
which are continued to the floor to
form door openings. The top of the
low roof is eight feet and the top OF
the high roof IA feet from the ground.
Movable partitions are provided and
stored above to give separate pens
for 20 sows at narrowing time. The
flood is of solid concrete, and con-
crete feeding floors are laid outside
on both sides of the building The
dimensions and height of this build
ing are arranged to secure the maxi
mum amount of sunlight, for early
spring narrowing
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
woy,s Handle Wheat IN Bulk

Australian wheat, at the present
time, is transported in bags. a system
which involves not only considerab BILE
cost, but Is also uneconomical in the
use of labor. In consequence, the gov
ernments of New South Wales and Vic
toria are considering proposals for
handling it in bulk, based upon the re-
ports of engineers. who made inquiries
as to this method in Canada, the Uni
ted States and South Africa. The ex-
perts also say that the change would
result in a large extension OF the
growing areas. 1t is understood, how
ever. that the steamship lines, which
have been approached on the subject,
are not agreed that under existing cir
cumstances the shipment of grain in
bulk Is practicable, though 1t is be-
lieved that e adequate supplies were
guaranteed the necessary space would
be readily forthcoming.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
Roof Atached-A Most
Excellent for Summer.

thing that is lacking in the winter
ration that causes egg eating.
Usually the thing that is LACKING is
some form of animal food to take the
place of the bugs and worms the fowls
pick up in the summer. Meat scraps,
green cut bone or skim milk should be-
fed. Hens won't lay we'll, anyhow, I'M
rations.
Soft shelled eggs which are easily
broken in the nest are a constant
temptation to the hens. The cause of,
soft shelled eggs is either not enough
lime from which the hens can make
shells or the hens being too fat.
Ground oyster shells kept where the
hens can help themselves is about the
cheapest way of supplying lime. To
prevent the hens from getting too fat,
see that they take a proper amount of
exercise. Feed the grain in litter so
the fowls must scratch for it. 1t is
probable that egg eating may be
caused from the hens not having
enough grit. Grit is the hens teeth.
They can't digest their food without
it. So, if grit is lacking much of what
they eat passes through them undi-
gested. The fowls will feel hungry
though getting plenty to eat. Then
they are apt to eat eggs-but not to
lay very many or look very thrifty.
Small pebbles, broken crockery or
stones will do for grit.
Have the nests rather low. A hen
must stand up in the nest to eat eggs.
If the nest is too low to allow her to
stand up she can't eat the eggs.
Gather the eggs two or three times
day and don't have too many nests.
Nests which the hens are not using
with eggs laying in them are teplpta-
ton to the hens.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15

had sought to trace 1t. only to find
every clew leading back to the staff
Now he was as confused in his shame
as a sensitive schoolboy. Vaguely,
in his distress, he heard Westerling
asking question, while he saw all
those eyes staring at him.
What information have we about
Engadir?'
Il believe it to be strongly forti-
fied!" stammered Bouchard.
You believe! You have no infor.
mation?" pursued Westerling.
mo, SIR" replied Bouchard. Moth
ing--nothing newt"
I'VE do seem to get little informa-
tion," said Westerling, looking hard
at Bouchard in silence-the com
bined silence Of he whole STAFF.
This public reproof could have but
one meaning. He should soon receive
note which would thank him politely
for his services, in the stereotyped
phrases always used for the purpose,
before announcing his transfer to a
less responsible post.
Very little. sir!" Bouchard replied
doggedly.
There is that we had from one of
our aviators whose machine came
down in a smash just as he got over
our infantry positions on his return"
said the chief aerostatic officer. "He
was in a dying condition when we
picked him up, and, as he was speak
ing with the last breaths in his body,
naturally his account of what he had
seen was somewhat incoherent. 1t
would be Of use, however, if we had
plans OF the forts that would enable
Us to check OF his report intelli-
gently"
yet, what evidence have we that
Partow or Lanstron has done more
than to make a fortunate guess or
show military insight?" Westerling
asked. There is the case of my own
belief that Bordir was weak. which
proved correct"
Last night we got a written tele-
graphic staff message from the body
OF a dead officer OF the Browns found
in the Twin Boulder Redoubt," said
the vice-chief. which showed that in
an hour after our plans were transmit
ted to our own troops for the first
attack they were known to the en-
envy"
That looks like q leak!" exclaimed
Westerling, "a leak, Bouchard. do you
hear?" He was frowning and his lips
were drawn and his cheeks notified
with red in a way not pleasant to see
Stiffening in his chair, q fash of
desperation in his eye, Bouchard's
bony. long hand gripped the table
edge. Every one felt that q sensa-
ton was coming.
Yes, l have known that there was
a leak!" he said with hoarse, pain
elaboration. II have sent out every
possible tracer. / have followed up
every sort of clew. l have trans
ferred dozen men. have left moth
ing undone!"
With no result?" persisted Wester-
ling impatiently.
Yes, always the same result: That
the leak is here in this house-here
in the grand headquarters of the army
under our very noses. | know 1t is not
the telegraphers or the clerks. It is
a member of the staff"
Have you gone out Of your head"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15

6cuCndF0 T aCeo the GirCtS OF FToWnc.
are doing and we don't know what
they are doing!" said the tactical ex-
pert.
There the chief Of the aerostatic d.
vision took the defensive.
They certainly don't learn our plans
with their planes and dirigibles!" he
declared energetically.
Hardly, when we never see them
over our lines"
"The Browns are acting on the de-
fensive in the air as we'll as on the
earth!"
But our own planes and dirigibles
bring little news" said Turcas. Il
mean, those that return" he added
pungently.
"And few do return. My men are
not wanting in courage!" replied the
chief aerostatic officer. Immediately
we get over the Brown lines the
Browns, who keep cruising to and fro,
are on US like hawks. They risk any
thing to bring US down. When we de-
scend low we strike the fire of their
high-angle guns, which are distributed
the length of the frontier l believe
both their aerial feet and their high
angle artillery were greatly under
estimated. Finally, l cannot reduce
my force too much in scouting or they
might take the offensive
Another case of not being In
formed" concluded Turcas, returning
grimly to his point.
He looked at Bouchard, and every
one began looking at Bouchard. II the
Gray tacticians had been outplayed by
their opponents, II their losses for the
ground gained exceeded calculations,
then 1t was good to have a scape-
goat for their professional mistakes.
Bouchard was Westerlings choice for
chief of intelligence. His blind 10y
atty was pleasing to his superior, who.
hitherto, had promptly silenced any
suggestion Of criticism by repeating
that the defensive always appeared to
the offensive to be better informed
than itself. But this time Westerling
let the conversation run on without
word of excuse for his favorite.
Each fresh reproach from the staff,
whose opinion was the only god he
knew, was a dagger thrust to Bou-
chard. At night he had lain awake
worrying about the leak: by day he
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15

demanded Westerling. What staff
officer? How does he get the infor-
nation to the enemy? Name the per-
sons you suspect here and now! Elk.
plain, if you want to be considered
sare!"
Here was the blacklist accusation
that could be made against an officerl
The chosen men Of the staff, tested
through many grades before they
reached the inner circle of cabinet So
crecy, lost the composure of council
All were leaning forward toward Bou-
chard breathless for his answer.
There are three women on the
grounds" said Bouchard. II have been
against their staying from tho first.
l."
He got no further. His words were
drowned by the outburst of one of the
younger members Of the staff, who
had either to laugh or choke at the
picture of this deep-eyed, spectral sort
of man, known as woman-hater, In
his revelation of the farcical source
of his suspicious.
why not include Clarissa Eileen?"
some one asked. starting a chorus OF
satirical ordinations.
"How do they get through the liner
Eyes, past q wall of bayonets%
when not even soldier In uni
form is allowed to move away from
his command without pass?"
by wireless?"
Perhaps by telepathy!"
Unless" said the chief of the aero
static division, grinning. "Bouchard
lends them the use of our own wires
through the capital and around by the
neutral countries across the Brown
frontier!"
"But the correct plans and location
Of their forts and the numbers OF their
heavy guns and of their planes and
dirig'bles--your failure to have this
information Is not the result OF any
leak from our staff since the war be-
gan" said Turcas in his dry, pene-
trating voice, clearing the air Of the
smoke of scattered explosions.
"All were staring at Bouchard again.
What answer had he to this? He was
in the box, the evidence stated by the
prosecutor Let him speak!
He was fairly beside himself in a
paroxysm Of rage and struck at the
air with his clenched fist.
- Lanstron!" he cried.
There's no purpose in that. He
can't hear you'll" said Turcas, dryly as
ever.
HE might, through the leak" said
the chief aerostatic officer, who con
sidered that many of his gallant sub
ordinates had lost their lives through
Bouchard's inefiiciency perhaps Cla-
rissa Eileen has already telepataically
wigwagged 1t to him."
To lose your temper at stan coun-
Gil is most unbecoming. Turcae would
have kept his II hit in the back by
fool automobiles, Westerling hxd now
recovered his. BE was again the gu
perman in comDlend.
"It Is for you and not for us to
locate the leak; yes, for you!" he
said. That Is ali on the subject for
the present" he added in a tone Of
mixed pity and contempt, which left
Bouchard freed from the stare Of his
colleagues and in the miserable com.
pany of his humiliation.
(TO BE CON-t1NUED.l
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
Charcoal for the Chickens.

Charcoal is health promoter for
the fowls. If you will put some ears
of corn in hot oven and let them
burn quite black and feed when the
grain gets cold enough you will per-
haps be astonished to see how greedily
the poultry will partake of the charred
corn. Give such a feed every two
weeks. We do not mean that the
fowls should have to depend on the
charred grain for the meal, but an
opportunity to eat what they wish
from the cob.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
AIgeria's River OF Ink.

In Algeria there Is river Of ink
In the upper part OF Ats course II
flows through beds of dacaying moss
in the lower part through strata o,
iron ore, and thus. throu gh the comb
nation OF the two, It's waters accuiTx
very nearly the color and som&tkina
OF the taste of black ink.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
Study Climatic Conditions.

One of the copmonest mistakes
which orchardists make is TO try to
follow the same system of pruning in
all parts of the country Climatic and
other conditions make big difference
in the growing and bearing habits of
trees, and in order to secure the best
results it is necessary to adapt prun-
ing methods to suit local conditions.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
AVOID EGG EATING
BY PROPER FEEDING
Hens Seldom Indulge in Habit
While on Free Range-Grit
Is Quite Essential.

Wrong feeding is the commonest
cause of hens eating their eggs. They
seldom do it in the summer when they
are on free range. Then, the fowls
get everything that their system
Graves. 1t is the craving for some
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15
Value of Chief Crops in 1914.

The value of the principal farm
crops was:
Corn. $1,7O2. $4,000: wheat, $779,-
069,000; cotton, $519,616,000; oats,
$499, 431,0 OO potatoes, $19S,60s. 900;
barley, $1O5,9OS,0OO sweet potatoes.
$41,294,000; tobacco, SOL, 900;
rye, $37,O1S,OOO; sugar beets, s27,O5O.-
900; rice, $21,S49,O 900; fiaxseed, $1O.-
$4,000; buckwheat, $12.S92,000.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-04-15

six feet four inches wide on seven
two-inch by four-inch joists six feet
long, and two pieces of two-inch by
four-inch nailed across the ends of
the joists. This will make the foun-
dation for the floor six feet four inches
wide and eight feet long. Beneath
the frame are nailed three two-inch
by four-inch pieces which serve as
runners for moving the building. The
house is built six feet two inches high
in front and three feet high in the
rear. Seven 12-foot boards cut in
two can be used for boarding the
front of the house. The small space
left at the top may be closed by a
batten or frieze board. Two eye
bolts should be securely inserted in
one end of the joist, for attachment
when the house is to be moved. A
shingled roof is necessary to insure
the best results, and that, of course,
is what should be desired.
A large portable hog house eight by
twelve feet ma. be constructed on the
same plan as the small shed roof
house just described. 1t will accom-
modate from eight to ten mature hogs
or twenty or more growing pigs. BY
constructing partition in the middle
the house can be used for two differ
ent lots of pigs or for two sows at
narrowing time. Being provided with
four doors in front and one in the
rear, it is we'll ventilated and may be
adjusted to suit many conditions. A
shade may be attached to the house
during the summer
This house has proved very salts
factory where it has been, found de-
sirable to keep more animals in a lot
than can be accommodated by the
smaller houses. However, it is more
difficult to move and does not differ
greatly from a small stationary house
in that respect. The bill of lumber
60 +L;c bouCa fo1IOu,c.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1915-12-08

we should give intelligent federal aid
and stimulation to industrial and voca-
tional education. as we have long done
in the large field of our agricultural
industry; that at the same time that
we safeguard and conserve the natural
resources of the country we should
put them at the disposal of those who
will use them promptly and intelli-
gently, as was sought TO be done in
the admirable bills submitted to the
last congress from its committees on
the public lands, bills which | earnest
ly recommend in principle to your con-
sideration; that we should put into
early operation some provision for
rural credits which will add to the ex-
tensive borrowing facilities already
afforded the farmer by the reserve
bank act adequate instrumentalitieS
by which long credits may be obtained
on land mortgages and that we should
study more carefully than they have
hitherto been studied the right adapta-
ton of our economic arrangements to
changing conditions.
Many conditions about which we
have repeatedly legislated are being
altered from decade to decade, it is
evident, under our very eyes and are
likely to change even more rapidly
ana more radically in the days imme-
diately ahead of us when peace has
returned to the world and the nations
Of Europe once more take up their
tasks Of commerce and industry with
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1915-12-08

federal commission has had admirable
results and has fully justified the
hopes and expectations Of those by
whom the policy Of regulation was
originally proposed The question is
not, What should we undo? 1t is
whether there is anything else we can
do that would supply us with effective
means, in the very process Of regu-
lation, for lettering the conditions I'M
der which the railroads are operated
and for making them more useful serv-
ants of the country as n whole. 1t
seems to me that it might be the part
of wisdom, therefore, before further
legislation in this field is attempted.
to look at the whole problem of co-or-
dination and efficiency in the full light
of q fresh assessment of circumstance
and opinion, as a guide to dealing with
the several parts of it.
For what we are seeking now, what
in my mind is the single thought of
this message, is national efficiency and
security. We serve a great nation.
We should serve it in the spirit of its
peculiar genius. 1t is the genius of
common men for self government. in
dustry. justice, liberty and peace. We
should see to it that it lacks no in
strument. no facility or vigor of law.
to make it sufficient to play its part
with energy. safety and assured sue
cess. In this we are no partisans bur
heralds and prophets Of q new age.