The Washington herald., 1915-10-03
O. HENRY'S MASTERPIECES

OcduCIul SIdIt. VIC osoo " OioS oOOut WOI'
gan and E. H. and others of our wisest when
was in the provinces-but now no more. Tha,
peninsula has got our little country turned into
a submarine without even the observation
tower showing.
Major Bing's idea was this. He had the
population go forth into the forest and gather
these products. When they brought EN- in he
gave 'em one-6fth for their trouble. Some
times they'd strike and demand sixth. The
major always gave in to EN-.
The major had bungalow so close on the
sea that the nine-inch tide seeped through the
cracks in the kitchen floor. Me and him and
High Jack Stakeholder sat on the porch and
drank rum from noon till midnight He said
he had piled up 100000 in New Orleans
banks, and High and me could stay with him
forever if we would. But High Jack happened
to think of the United States. and began to talk
ethnology.
"'Ruins!' says Major Bing. The woods are
full of EN-. don't know how far they date
back, but they was here before | came
High Jack asks what form of worship the
citizens of that locality are addicted to.
Why says the major, rubbing his nose,
I can't hardly say. | imagine it's in6del OF
Aztec or Nonconformist or something like that.
There's church here-a Methodist or some
othei kind-with parson named Skidder He
claims to have converted the people to Chris
tianity. He and me don't assimilate except on
state occasions imagine they worship some
kind of gods or idols yet But Skidder says he
has EN- in the fold
"A few days later High Jack and me. prowl-
ing around, strikes plain path into the forest,
and follows it a good four miles. Then branch
turns to the left. We go mile. maybe. down
that. and run up against the finest ruin you ever
saw-solid stone with trees and vines and un-
derbrush all growing up against it and in it and
through it. All over it was chiselled carvings
of funny beasts and people that would have
been arrested if they'd ever come out in vaude-
vile that way. We approached it from the
rear.
High Jack had been drinking too much rum
ever since we landed in Boca. You know how
an Indian is-the palefaces fixed his clock
when they introduced him to 6rewater. He'd
brought quart along with him.
Hunky.' says he. well explore the ancient
temple 1t may be that the storm that landed
us here was propitious. The Minority Report
Bureau of Ethnology.' says he. may yet profit
by the vagaries of wind and tide
I'VE went in the rear door of the bum edi-
6ce We struck kind of alcove without bath.
There was granite davenport. and stone
wash-stand without any soap or exit for the
water. and some hardwood pegs drove into
holes in the wall. and that was ALL To go out
of that furnished apartment into Harlem
hall bedroom would make you feel like getting
back home from an amateur violoncello solo at
an East Side Settlement house.
while High was examining some hero
glyphics on the wall that the stonemasons must
have made when their tools slipped. stepped
into the front room That was at least thirty
by fifty feet. stone floor, six little windows like
square portfolios that didn't let much light in.
Il looked back over my shoulder. and sees
High Jacks face three feet away.
'High.' says |, of all the
And then noticed he looked funny, and |
turned around.
He'd taken off his clothes to the waist. and
he didn't seem to hear me. touched him, and
came near beating it. High Jack had turned
to stone had been drinking some rum my
self.
".'Ossi6ed!' says to him, loudly. I knew
what would happen if you kept it up
And then High Jack comes in from the al
cove when he hears me conversing with nobody,
and we have look at Mr.. Snakefeeder No. 2.
It's stone idol, or god. or revised statute or
something. and it looks as much like High Jack
as one green pea looks like itself. It's got ex-
actly his face and size and color but it's stead
ier on its pins 1t stands on kind of rostrum or
pedestal. and you can see it's been there ten
million years.
"He's cousin of mine.' sings High, and
then he turns solemn.
"'Hunky.' he says. putting one hand on my
shoulder and one on the statues, I'm in the
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