davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1915-11-11
SHORT STORIES
Of Local Interest-Clipped from
Our Exchanges.

I j. G. Upton is now the sole
owner of the Ell Dorado Springs
sun, having last week purchased
the interest of his partner, G. s
Smith. 90
Mrs. Nellie Bradley died at the
home of her son, B. f. Bradley,
near Hume, November 2, 1915, at
an advanced age. The funeral
was conducted from the NJ. E.
Church in Pleasanten by the pas
tor, and burial was made in the
Pleasanton cemetery. Wednesday.
Border Telephone.
Mrs. Martha Hammack passed
away Wednesday evening, Nov
ember 3, 1915, at her room on
North 9th Street after many
weeks of feeble health. She was
born in Illinois Is years ago and
came with her parents to Mis-
souri,. when a small childbirth
Hill Western Enterprise.
Mrs. Ed Hereford died at the
family home, north of Hume,
November g. 1915, after a sick
ness of several years with con-
sumption says the Border Tele-'
phone. Funeral was held Thurs
day afternoon and burial took
place at the Independence .ceme-
terry
The editors of the Amoret
Leader are going to take a va
cation. Mr.. and Mrs. Pattee are
an automobile built so
that it will be a home on. wheels
and expect to spend the winter
travelling in the south. Here's
hoping that they have a pleasant
time.
New Home has the good road
fever. The Telephone is urging
hat ! road be built east and west |
that burg to connect
With the Ozark Trails route at
Rich Hill and with the eastern |
Kanels highway that runs from |
zalpas City to IT. Scott, near the |
zazk6 line, practically putting |
7mlk an 18th hs6hwavn
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1915-11-11

teams commenced to arrive and
by six O'Clock Monday morning
there We're nearly one hundred
teams and autos ready to be
weighed and checked in. Fully
500 teams and 1000 people Wis
tied the orchard during the day.
-AmOret Leader.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1915-11-11
WILSON MAKES PLEA FOE
PREPAREDNESS.
Army and Navy Increase Not for
Aggressive Purposes.

New York Nov. 4.-Outlining
policy for military and naval
preparedness which opened the
eyes of his thousand listeners.
President Wilson tonight at the
fiftieth anniversary banquet
of the Manhattan Club declared
with an eloquence that shot deep
into the hearts of the vast throng
that America fears nothing and
that at the first definite challenge
Twill speak forth in tones which
no man can doubt and with COM
mands which no man dare gain
say or resist. =
The banquet was at the Bilt-
more. It was one of the most
distinguished gatherings seen at
the city in many years. It was
bubbling over with enthusiasm
for the proper defense Of the ma
ton, for the program which calls
for the training Of an army and
the development Of = navy which
will speak for peace to- the re-
hottest corner 3 fthe world.
I The President spoke for . half
hour. His words were carefully
chosen. They showed beyond all
question that hin chat i in thel
mng 10 battle Tor . degree Of
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
NAV Revive Lost Art.

II any good can come at all from
the destruction Of Reims cathedral, 1t
might be said to be from the oppor-
tunity to study the fragments Of
stained glass from its famous win
.dows, the secret of the coloring of
this glass made in the thirteenth CEN
fury having been lost in antiquity. M.
Chesnau, assistant director of the
French School of Mines. has reported
through the Academic des Sciences
that he has been able to determine
many of the chemical processes used
to attain the results in the Reims
windows. Among other discoveries
he says that the wonderful red glass
which has been the despair of later
artisans was acquired by covering a
bottle green glass with a thin enamel
'uf calculated copper,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
OFFICER REALLY 10 BLAME.
Husband Thet Woman simply
Could not Stop Scsldina.

A woman rom the pineland belt,
who had seen railroad only once.
and who had ridden In to Atlanta's
Decatur street on her husbands wag-
ON. was arrested for talking back to
IN oficer Of the law.
She jabbered steadily for halt
hour, when told her she must not
stand 20 long. squarely In the middle
Of the street." explained the officer
who had made the arrest Il couldn't
even get word in edgewise. It was
the most awful CAB ever heard"
urning to the prisoner the Judge
said:
What have you to say for yourself.
madam"
Couldn't hep it. jedge." responded
the offender, tried 70 ter shet up.
but tn ohicer looked 80 much like my
husban' jes' couldn't find TIL heart {
stop! and Comment.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
zeppelins Or splders7

A story is told of a young French
woman who observed with punctilious-
ness the wartime precautions ordered
by the police.
She kept the shutters closed a.
nightfall and the curtains pulled d,wn.
SO that not speck Of light would es.
cape from her apartments. But one
night. when reading the newspaper.
she said that she had reached the
limit.
The newspapers said that II the
Zeppelins came all persons must go
into the cellars. She told her friends
she would not go down into the cellar.
Il do not care a fig for the Yep
pelins," she said. 1T is no use ask.
ing me. l will not go down into the
cellar"
But why?" asked her friend. BE.
cause" she replied. Il am afraid Of
spiders
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
RecoiI Of Bio Guns.

Most people know that when an or
binary rifle is fred it kicks and,
indeed, will knock man down unless
he holds the rifle butt close to his
shoulder. It can be imagined. there
fore, what gigantic "kick" big field
gun can give.
1t has always been one Of the prob
lens to solve in firing these big guns,
how to control the recoil. If 1t were
not controlled the gun would jump
back anything up to fifty yards. not
only probably smashing itself up.
but killing the gunners as we'll.
Springs and air chambers, of
course, have been used. but it was
found that they quickly got out Of
order.
The problem was solved by filling
the special recoil chambers with a
compound of which glycerin is the
chief ingredient.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Most Eminent Medical Authorities Endorse Il
New Remedy for Kidney Bladder and al Uric Acid Troubles

DR.. Eberle and DR.. Braithwaite as
well as DIR. Simon-all distinguished
Authors-agree that whatever may be
the disease, the urine seldom fails in
furnishing us with clue to the princi-
pies upon which 1t is to be treated,
and accurate knowledge concerning
the nature Of disease can thus be OBJ
tanned. II backache, scalding urine or
frequent urination bother or distress
you, or IL uric acid In the blood has
caused rheumatism, govt or sciatica
or you suspect kidney or bladder
trouble Just write DR.. Pierce at the
Surgical Institute, Buffalo. N. Y; send
a sample Of urine and describe symp-
toms. You will receive free medical
advice after DR.. Pierce's chemist has
examined the urine this viii be care.
fully done without charge, and you
Vim - under no ohlisat ton. DR.. pierco
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
ltaly's King Grew Champion Mustach,

IItaIy's King Grew Champion Mustache.
The first ruler of United Italy al
lowed his mustache to attain such a
length that in his later years he would
never eat anything at public ban
quet. When taking food he was
obliged to tie the ends of his mus
tache behind his head, and he would
not appear in this undignified attitude
in front of people not belonging to his
circle of intimates.
After a visit he paid to England
Harriet, duchess of Sutherland,
wrote: Victor Emmanuel is the only
knight Of the Garter have ever seen
who looks as if he would certainly
have the best of it with the dragon"
So evidently he had acquired the
wished-for look of ferocity.-LonIon
Chronicle.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
do.
Not
Think 1
Ever Felt
Much
Better
Better
Nss. william II, Hinchlifte. No. 20
Myrtle st. Beverly. Mass. writes: II
CAPTAIN WAS BOSS
Refused to Allow General Butler
to Control Ship.
Hot.Tempered Soldier at First rhrsat.
sned to Hang Commander. but
the Sailor Was in
the Right.

Every once in SO often strange
longing for the sea steals over me,
and II must restrain my mood with
In the narrow confines of four walls
l do that thing which is next best.
I pick up copy of Stevenson and
make the most Of 1t. Upon the last
occasion had scarcely laid down
Treasure, Island" when such. salty
phrases as walking the plank" hang
ing from the yard-arm," ETC., recalled
an incident in the life of Benjamin F..
Butler which doubt If the general
has set down in his memoirs. This
incident was related to me by sea
captain who was. for many years. an
intimate neighbor9 and of whose We
racity there was no question. will
let him tell 1t In his own words:
During the Civil war;" he said.
General Butler was transporting q
regiment of soldier from the New
England coast to one Of the south
ern ports. was In command of ;.
sailing vessel at the time and my
ship was chartered for the purpose.
On the first night out we ran into a
storm. 1t presently became 80 vio-
lent that found 1t necessary to order
the men below. and below they went,
with padlocks fastened to the matches.
This procedure brought forth grum-
bling from the men and it. was not
long before they complained to the
general. General Butler sought me
out.
Captain he said. I can't allow my
boys to be shut up like this below
deck; you'll have to open the hatches'
General l told him. I'm sorry.
but we're in storm. l can't have
them getting in the way of my own
men at a time like this. or we won't
be able to manage the ship. They'll
have to stay below
The general stormed. DO you
mean to disobey my orders?
~ mean, said /, that am cap
tain of this vessel, and am RESPONSE
BILE for all on board. know the law
of the sea, and I'll not take orders
from anyone
"'You heard what said, Numbered
the general, shaking a fist in my
face, and you mark my words, If the
padlocks aren't of those matches in
ten minutes / shall hang you by
the neck to your own yard-arm.' Then
he stamped aft.
In ten minutes l had forgotten
all about the incident-we were too
busy taking care Of the .ship-but when
the time was. up the general APP
preached me again.
WELL he demanded. are you
ready to open the hatches?'
No. general, told him. I'm not.
You can hang me to my own yard-arm
If you want to. But I'm captain Of
this vessel and know what I'm talk
ing about. Now, what do you propose
to do?
The general started to speak but
thought better of it, and this time
when he stamped off he didn't re-
turn"
HE didn't hang you then. did he.
grandpa" spoke up little child at
the captains knee.
well, if he did," smiled the captain.
1T was so long ago that I've forgot
ten Los Angeles Times.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
IS FRENCH ROBINSON cRusoi
castaway on Lonely island Discovered
BY Party From Armed Mer-
chairman.

Defoe's story has had q number o.
interesting parallels In real life. but
none so strange as the story Of the
French Robinson Crusoe. He was dis.
covered by party from an armed
merchantmen, while searching for the
koenigsberg when 1t was hiding up
the Rufigi river. in German East AT,
RIGA. The party landed on the Aida.
bra island, which is about 400 miles
cast Of Zanzibar. The episode is re-
lated by midshipman Of the party,
who tells how. when they approached
the island. boat put OF to meet them
with white man in it who proved
to be the only white man on the Is.
land. says London Tit.Bits.
To the amazement of the party,
when they reached the shanty refresh
ments in the shape Of cocoanut milk
were handed to them by gigantic
black man. veritable Friday Of real
life. The Frenchman and the negro
were living an absolutely Robinson
Crusoe existence, and the midshipman
relates how the former nearly wept
with Joy when they offered him ciga-
rette. He had little knowledge Of the
outside world. beyond what passing
ships brought. He did not even know
that Turkey was at war, and the last
news he had was that the Formidable
was sunk. THE only papers he had
says the midshipman, in his letter.
were two copies Of Tit-Bits Of 1918
and one Pail Mall Magazine Of 1911.
He informed US that he had read
these over and over, until he almost
knew them by heart. When we Of
fered to send him papers, tobacco, ETC..
from the ship. he did not know how to
thank u.s.
Apparently this French Robinson
Cruesoe earned money by keeping tur.
ties. and the midshipman relates how
he showed them about sixty Of the
largest turtles he had ever seen in his
life, and on leaving he made them a
present Of live turtle which had
been caught, weighing about $50
pounds.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
TURN OVER TIME
When Nature Hints About the Food.

When there's no relish to food and
all that one eats doesn't seem to do
any goou then is the time to make a
turnover in the diet. for that's Ma
lures way of dropping hint that the
food isn't the kind required.
For a number Of years followed
railroad work, much of 1t being Office
work of trying nature. Meal times
were our busiest; and eating too much
and too quickly of food such as is
commonly served in hotels and res
taurants, together with the sedentary
habits, were not long in giving me dys-
pepsia and stomach trouble which re-
duced my weight from EOS to 100
pounds.
There was little relish in any food
and none of it seemed to do me any
good. It seemed the more ] ate the
poorer / got and was always hungry
before another meal, no matter how
much had eaten.
Then commenced trial Of Grape
Nuts food. and was surprised how q
small saucer Of it would carry me
along, strong, and with satisfied appe-
tite, until the next meal, with no SEN
sations of hunger, weakness or dis.
tress as before.
81 have been following this diet now
for several months and my improve
ment has been SO great all the others
in my family have taken up the use
OF Grape-Nuts with complete satisfac.
ton and much Improvement in health.
Most people eat hurriedly, have
lots of worry, thus hindering digestion
and therefore need q food that is pre-
digested and concentrated in nourish.
ment."
There's Reason
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Greek, Mich.
Il Ever read the abevs letteFS a new
enc apDears freM tlne = tlne. Thsy
aEe genuines tEDes onA full q huunnH
! lAtae0st.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

during many years Of experimentation
has discovered q new remedy which
Is thirty-seven times more powerful
than lithia in removing uric acid from
the system. II you are suffering from
backache or the pains of rheumatism,
go to your best druggist and ask for
9 SO cent box of "Anuric'' put up by
Doctor Pierce, or send 1Oc for large
trial pck'g. DR.. Pierce's Favorite Pre-
scription for weak women and DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
for the blood have been favorably
known for the past forty years and
more. They are standard remedies
to-dayas we'll as Doctor Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets for the liver and
bowels. You can have sample Of my
one OF these remedies BY writing d..
Pierce. and smiling 10c for trial peek
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
BABY LOVES HIS BATH
With cuticura Soap Because So sootl,.
Ing When His Skin 10 Hot.

These fragrant supercreamy emol.
lients are comfort to children. The
Soap to cleanse and purify, the Oint.
ment to soothe and heal rashes, itch
ings. chafings, etc. Nothing more eff
fective May be used from the hour
of birth, with absolute confidence.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. KY,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
NO Worse.

Say, old man. loan me ten dollars.
will your"
why should 1? You'd only buy
whisky with it."
What IL l do? You subscribed to
the war loan. didn't you?"
Il don't see what that's got to do
with it,"
do you think it's any worse to
lend me money to buy whisky with
than to lend money to the allies to
spend on guns and ammunition?"-
New York World.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
iuet ~ selne-

Gasoline rates have been cd u -
middle West TO eight cents sallsa
Apropos Of this cut, an independent
dealer Of Indianapolis said:
The independents win have - -;
under II the cut rate persists. lt'e
Q below-cost rate. though the trust
claims its rate created by the slack
demand The trust would have u
believe that in making this absurd
rate It was as businesslike and Logical
as the summer girl
(" Think OF all the luxuries q million
aire husband like me could give your
said septuagenarian millionaire to-
summer girl on q white beach, and
he took her hand in the moonlight.
But the summer girl drawing her
hands away, responded:
"A millionaire father would do Just
as well. Marry mother, won't you.
that's DEAR"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Too Much Ham TO Be HUNGRY.

Too Much Ham to Be Hungry.
An English town council. after pro-
tracted sitting. was DESTROYS of ad-
journing for lunch.
The proposition was opposed by the
mayor. who thought that If his fellow
officeholders felt the stimulus Of hun
ger the dispatch Of business would be
much facilitated. At last rather illit-
crate member got up and exclaimed:
Il ham astonished. ham surprised.
ham amazed. Mr.. Mayor. that you
will not let US go to lunch"
"And l am surprised replied the
mayor, that man who has got so
much ham in his mouth should want
any lunch at all"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Same. But Different.

Summer Visitor-Are old Stegbauer
and Schattliebner still carrying on that
everlasting lawsuit Of theirs about the
boundary?
Native-Not those two any longer.
but the lawyers are.
Summer visitor-How is that?
Native-Oh, the farm belongs to.
them neutrality-suspicious. Blaetter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
What Really Happened.

Then out spake Spurius Lartius-
a Ramnian proud was he. "Lo, will
stand on thy right hand and keep the
bridge with thee"
Stand on my right hand?" pessi-
mistically repeated Horatius. mot II
l: know it! already have an ele-
plant on my hands in the. person Of q
shuckless brother-inlaw who invited
himself to dinner eight years ago and
has been at my house ever since!"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

For really fine coffee at mod
crate price. drink Denison's Seminole
Brand, 35c the lb.. in sealed cans.
Only one merchant in each town
sells Seminole. If your grocer isn't
the one, write the Denison Coffee Co..
Chicago. for souvenir and the name
Of your Seminole dealer.
Buy the lib. Canister Can for $1.Oo.
ADV,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Hls Eorte Was FINANCE,


Little Tommy passed for a very
practical youth. The other day his
Uncle John bought him, as birthday
present, word game" which Tom
my had never played. and which did
not seem to be particularly attractive
to him.
Nevertheless. Tommy did not forget
to thank his uncle. and by and by,
sdging round his chair. he asked:
Il say. Uncle joint"
eWell?"
This game really belongs to me
now, doesn't it?"
why, of course"
ITO do just as l want with it?"
Certainly
"Then I'll tell you what I'll do-1M
sell 1t to you for shilling"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Out Of Sorts

HAT IS something is wrong with baby but we can't ten
just what it is All mothers recognize the term bv ta
asstude weakness loss Of appetite inclination to sleep
heavy breathing and lack Of shown BY baby hese
the symptoms Of sickness may be fever conpestion
worms Group dphtheria scarana Do not lose minute
Give the child Casora It will the digestive organs into
operation open the pores of the skim carry of the fd
matter, and drive away the threatened sickness
Gsauiae always signature q 1AZZzee
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Not Even ENOUGH for WINGS.

May-No. George, it cannot be. l
am not good enough to be your wife.
George-What nonsense. dear! You
are an angel!
May-George, even an angel could
not be happy with man who had
only $1,000 year and feathers the
price they are!
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Lucky Break.

Are you satisfied with your sons
progress in his studies at college?"
YES. he's doing very we'll. but he
doesn't deserve any credit for it. He
broke his arm in football practice the
first week he was there. and since that
time he hasn't been able to do any:
thing but study"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Phenomenal

'SMrs. Bowers has a wonderful
mind"
What's wonderful about it?"
WAY. she's reading serial stories
in six different magazines, and she
never gets the plots or the characters
mixed up
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
AIl Kinds.

We'll. we can expect cold weather
most any time now"
AS far as that goes. we can expect
any kind of weather any old time"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

Sometimes you can help your
friends by not giving them advice.
A woman's idea of striking gown
is one that hits her husbands bank
balance.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

Lucius Moore says the reason a man
is afraid of his wife is that he nearly
always is guilty.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Planning.

Planning.
'"Can you tell me where can buy
. small flock of moths?"
Moths? What in the world do you
want with flock of moths?"
We'll, you see. need new over
coat, and unless stick some moths ON
my old one and make it look perfectly
disgraceful my wife will make me
wear it another winter"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Ignorance is Bliss.

My wife says / don't know how to
handle the baby"
Il wouldn't get miffed over that.
son." said the older man. Take my
advice and don't learn"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

Not Gray Ezairs but Tired Eyes
make us look older than we are. Keep your
Eyes young and you will look young After
the Movies always Murine Your Eyes
Don't tell your age.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
A Possible MEANING.

What is the meaning of this phrase,
the higher, the fewer'?"
1T may allude to the oysters in a
stew. "-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

When man sits through an anna
teur show 1t means that he has rela
tive In the cast.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

The smaller the town. the more i'm.
portant an egg with two yolks be-
comes.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

Even q wise man goes lame when,
he gets into religious or political
argument.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Her vindication

He tannoyed) Its eight o'clock
and you said you would be here at six.
She-Did l say six? l thought 1
said seven
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

1t is we'll enough to give credit
where credit is done. but 10 better to
be paid in cash.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., chicago
for illustrated Book of the Eye Free.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11
Necessary.

They're putting ON my new play
at the Piffle theater next week."
You don't say 80! Have you ar
ranged for an audience?"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-11-11

1t isn't always a small matter when
woman puts her foot in it.