Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1915-02-13
A MODERN
PROPOSAL
Copyright, Puck
BY TOM p. MORGAN.

A s the primeval oyster. which, &C
"A cording to science, was two feet
long, has shrunk to its present we'll
nigh microscopic dimensions, In like
manner the stately, longdrawn, court
ship of the leisurely past-wherein
the lover, having at his command all
the time there was in the world and
all the words in the vocabulary as Il
then existed, felt that he had not done
proper Job unless he used up both
dwindled down to the rapid-fire click
itypop method OF the swift and busy
present.
To-day. young Percival Yannaway.
enamored OF pretty Maybelle Sweet,
but handicapped by an embarrassing
impeachment In his speech, rises from
his knees, throws his hands aloft in
despair, PUSHES from her presence and
on in the general direction of a sui
cide's grave that is not in use at this
moment, then. struck by a luminous
idea, pulls down his hands, passes in
to a shop which happens to be handy,
purchases a modishly-garbei lay-fig-
ure, or dummy, tucks 1t under his arm
and hurries to his apartment to prac-
toe love-making with the assistance
Of the dummy. Said apartment is but
across the air-shaft from that of May
belle. She looks from her window,
and. upon beholding Percival indus
triously proposing to an unknown
woman, expresses her stern disappro-
baton by means of appropriate ges-
lures. and hurries out.
Percival. with naught to distract,
swiftly progresses to the point of be-
ing accepted by the beautiful lay-fig-
ure. whereat he embraces her ener-
getically. but Immediately inagurates
spirited lovers quarrel, boxes her
ears, dances a highland fling of glee
at his success, cocks his hat niftily
on the south side of his head, and
hastens out. No sooner has he gone
than Maybelle enters, aflame with
jealousy, assaults her supposed rival,
then discovers her mistake and is fill
ed with deft comminging Of humil-
iation and triumph. A moment later
she hears Percival returning. We are
at as great a loss as Maybelle to i'm
agine how she viii extricate herself
from the unpleasant contretemps.
But,-hurrah!-she denudes the unre.
sisting dummy Of its opera cloak, dons
the same, thrusts the dummy into a
closet which yawns in convenient
proximity, and stands, the picture of
inviting docility when Percival enters.
Will he discover the imposition
Oh, no!-not yet. Love, we are pleas
ed to note, is still blind. Percival
promptly resumes where he but a
short while ago left off, and we
shudder in antiCipatory sympathy for
the embarrassment which we are con
WINGED is bound to speedily be his.
No laggard in love is young Perctval.
In seven-eighths of minute from the
time of his return he has tapped his
arms around Maybelle's yielding form
and implanted an impassioned kiss on
her tempting lips. This, of course,
is followed by lucid explanations upon
the part of both, resulting almost in.
Maybelle then hauls the unresisting
layfigure from the closet and declares
that never again shall Percival con.
front the necessity of practicing on a
dummy. So determined is Percival to
make his ratification of the PROPOSE.
ton emphatic that he hurls the
innocent dummy out Of the fourth
story window, and resumes the delight
full task of misplacing the acquiescen;
task of misplacing the acQuiescent
ribs of Maybelle.
We will now, II you please. hasten
in time to have the privilege Of OBJ
serving the dummy fall on the head
of passing Bishop, Telling him to the
pavement, much we note, to his chag.
rim. and sadly shocking large police
man and a neat assortment Of specta-
tors. We now all proceed up the
stairs. the policeman with the dummy
under his left arm and his trenchant
mace clenched In his right hand
closely followed by the maltreated
Bishop and the others.
Undoubtedly. we tell ourselves, both
our hero and his loved one will now
suffer the ignominy of arrest, for ii
can be seen that the Bishop is very
angry, and not without excuse, and
even the gallant officer has cause for
impatience. But, no!-the moment
they enter the room where Percival
and Maybelle are locked in each
others embraces the former with rare
presence of mind springs forward,
wrines the hand Of the surprised but
ready-witted Bishop. who forthwith
unctuously unites the handsome young
couple in the holy bonds Of wedlock,
with the approval Of the policeman
and the attendant spectators.
Thus this short but spirited drama
of modern love-maling comes to a
happy ending. and the operator Of the
moving picture camera declares his
firm belief that II will be one Of the
most popular films of the season, mas
much as II is full of clever comedy,
- .x&l