davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
d 4 WILSON cHuckLE.

Although President Wilson's i'm
migration bill veto stands, the man
ners in which Il was sustained by the
house OF representatives can give
little satisfaction to him. "A large ms.
jority was recorded in favor Of the
bill, almost the two-thirds vote neces.
sary to make It law so far as action.
o fithe lower house alone could accom-
plish that, and "a majority Of the
Democrats voting went on record
against the President. evidence Of the
value they place upeas his Indiana
polls utterances with regard to team
work. This action of the house and.
the course Of senate Democrats with
regard to the shipping bill indicates
that the members OF his party at last
have the true measure OF the man
who assumes to be dictator under the
New Freedom and will refuse TO be
dictated to. Mr.. Wilson has run into
troublous times at the national capt.
tai and has something to think OF be-
sides sitting back to chuckle.-
Chronicle Telegraph.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
SOMEWHERE.

Somewhere the birds are singing
In the sweet old way Of song
That sets tho echoes winging
Where the golden memories throng
Somewhere the tides IRE turning
From their fury and their storm
To the peace OF soft skies burning
Where the fragrant shadowsgswarm
Somewhere the world Is happy
And the lays are bright with sun;
Somewhere the wind is srappy
And the waves In thunder run!
Somewhere they're having heaven
In their hours of song and bloom
Somewhere Is love to leayen
All the iheartache and the gloom.
Somewhere Is railways somewhere
That We think Is far away;
But somewhere's always somewhere
Where the Lords bids up to stay.
And all 1t needs Is patience,
And believing grace and cheer
To show US that LIES somewhere
Is right down around us here.
Baltimore Sun.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
lFiRsTTHINes.

The first house lighted by electri.
city was that Of Moses Gerrish
Farmer, an American inventor, who
was born at Boscawen. N. III, ninety.
five years ago today. English and
French scientists had been working
on the problem OF electric lighting
before Farmer began his experiments,
and the new method had been sue.
cessfully used in England lighthouses
but Farmer was the first to make use
of electricity as an illuminant in a
private dwelling house. His system
was crude and not adapted to general
use, however, and 1t remained for
Thomas A. Edison to put electric
lighting on a commercial and prac.
tical basis. Farmer also invented an
%eloctro-motor which he used O n a
miniature railway, and on this little
line he transported by electricity the
first passengers ever SO carried in
America. Farmer also invented the
telegraph fire alarm, a thermo-electric
battery, and built the first dynamo,
and In 1880 he patented his automatic
electric light system. He died In
Chicago In 1898.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
WHO'S WHO IN The WAR.
Corvallis West.

Mrs. Patrick Campbell, the famous
actress, who is f%o.ty-eight years old
today, has a fondness for soldiers,
and her second husband, Lieut..Col.
George CORVALLIS West, is now sery.
ing at the front. Since last Septem-
Der Col. CORVALLIS West has been
commanding one OF the battaiions OF
the Royal Naval Division. He took.
part in the defense of Antwerp. It
was reported last month that he had
been shot in England as a spy, but
this was denied by his solicitors, who
stated that he was still at the front.
and alive and well. Col. CORVALLIS
began his military career with the
Scots Guards, and was a subaltern
when British society was startled by
his engagement to Lady Randolph
Churchill a daughter Of Leonard Jer:
ONE OF New York. Mr.. CORVALLIS
West fought in the South African war
and gained at Magerstrontein. His
marriage to the brilliant and beauti:
full Lady Churchill was not a happy
one, and last April Lady Churchill Sc.
cured an absolute divorce. Col. Corn.
wallis West Immediately married
Mrs. Patrick Campbell, the actress.
He was forty years old last November,
while his bride is about 5 years his
senior. The actress first husband,
Patrick Campbell, to whom she was
married in 1884, was a soldier. He
served with the Imperial Yoemanry
in South Africa and was killed in ac-
ton. Col. Cornawllis West comes Of
a distinguished family. He IS related
to the Earl de la War;, the holder Of
a barony dating from the thirteenth
century. His sisters are the Duchess
of Westminster and the Princess OF
Pless. Mrs. Campbell is the daughter
of John Tanner, a London merchant,
and Luigia Romanini, a beautiful Ital-
ian woman who was a circus perform
er before she became the bride Of the
Englishman. Mrs. Campbell's maiden
name was Stella Beatrice Tanner. The
actress Is an enthusiastic patriot,
and has participated in many move
ments to aid the soldiers in the ilela
and the refugees.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
ILITTLE Boobies PA
BY William q. Kirk.

]. am glad you are going to be hoam
tonite, husband, sed Ma to Pa wen he
cain hoam. Thare Is q Asiatic ser:
resss coming heer tonite to seer. She
Knows all about yure past & yure
future the minnit she sees you. Doant
you think she must beNa wonderful
woman to know all about yure flu.
ture.
Fairly wonderful, sed Pa, but ]
think that knowing my future is only
a middling accomplishment. II she
knows half of my past she must be q
wizard. 1t is my past she has got to
show mo, sed Pa.
She will show you all rite, sed Me-.
Who is this wonderful she, sed Pa.
II thot that Pa was beginning to get
uneasy. 1t seems to me, Pa! sed. that
you bring moar queer peepul to the
house than eny hostess that ever
hostessedf& betweensthe regular club
womin who cum heer, Pa sed. q the
bugs like the one who Is cunning to
mite you maik my life a pekulyar pro.
posishun.
Jest then the Ashiatick seeress
cain In. She had her vail on & "a
long cloak and had a crystal ball In
her hand. Wen she took of her vail
Pa went rite oayer 6 shook hands
with her. She was a butiful womman.
I am glad to meet you, sed Pa. This
is my little son, Bobbie. MY wife
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
Cost OF Administration OF
Funds To Be Borne BY
Rockefeller.
IS SUBSCRIBED
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE
SAID TO BE STARVING
NEPoLAND9

BERLIN Feb. 9.-America and Ger.
many are Joining hand sin movements
Tor the relief. Of the civil population7o of
those districts of Poland occupied by
the Germans.
Official announcement has been
made that international central com.
mittees have undertaken to furnish
the relief: The ltslief plans contcm.
plate extensive collection OF funas
for the purchase Of grain.
The cost Of administration, the an.
nouncement states, will be borne By
the Rockefeller Foundation. Repre-.
sentatiyes of the American Red Cross
and the Rockefeller Foundation found
this work fully as essential as relief
for Belgium.
Tho American and Spanish ambas-
sailors at Berlin and Vienna, the
iArchbtshopsy Of Posen and Carcow and
Vienna, DR.. Wickliffe Rose and
Ernest, Buknell. representing the
Rockefeller Foundation, are members
OF the committee. The committee be-
neyes 1t will be able to buy food sup
plies In Roumania without resorting
to the expensive method Of transport.
Ing them across the seas.
Germans Raise $4,000.
While American representatives
were negotiating with the German
and Austrian authorities to provide
guarantees not only that imported
food supplies shall not be reQuisi.
toned by the military authorities but
that all acquisitions shall cease In oc.
cupied regions, a German committee
had begun raising funds to buy food
for the starving Poles.
Prominent residents Of Berlin sub.
soribed $4,000 as their first contribu.
ton to the fund. The German COM
mittee was organized Saturday after.
noon at o meeting of the Reichstag,
with Prince Hatzfeldt.Trachenberg as
chairman and DR.. Theodore Lewald,
director Of the ministry Of the inter.
ior, as vice chairman. After outlining
the straits of the population DR.. LIE.
wald said:
AN international commission has
undertaken to obtain the necessary
food supplies from neutral countries,
and It Is now for Germany. which can
spare no food, to collect the funds
needed to carry on the work OF mercy.
The willingness Of the German people
to make sacrifices will not halt at the
frontier when 1t is a question Of say.
ing unfortunate fellow men from mis-.
cry and DEATH"
Wants Levles Stopped.
Chairman Herbert Hoover of the
American commission for the relief
of Belgium Ia conducting negotia-
lions with the German authorities to
obtain assurances that financialilevies
on towns and provinces shall be aban.
doned. The German government
pledges hitherto have extended to the
no1,requisition Of food supplies i'm.
ported by the commission, or such
supplies as must be replaced by i'm.
ports from America.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
Mule Came First.

A cart containing a number Of field
hands was being drawn by a mule.
The driver, a darkey of about 20, was
endeavoring to induce the mule to
increase his speed. when suddenly the
animal let fly6withl its heels and dealt
him such a kick that he was stretched
on the ground In a twinkling. He
lay rubbing his head where the mule
had kicked him.
lis he hurt?" asked a stranger
anxiously Of an old negro who had
Jumped from the conveyance and was
standing over the PROSTATE driver.
mo" boss" was the reassuring re-
ply; "dat mule will probably walk
kind o. tender for a day OF two. but
he amt hurt."-National Food Maya
zine. ~ 7
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09

part OF January his army was re-
embarked OF the $500 men compos-
ing the British forces, 1000 had been
lost. but Gen. Lambert was not dis
posed to give up the struggle. He de-
cided TO attack Mobile. In the hope
that the capture Of the Alabama city
would In some measure atone for the
defeat at New Orleans. On the eighth
OF February an American brigade was
landed In the rear OF Fort Bower,
and the English and the Americans,
again faced each other in battle array
on the following day. Gen. Lambert
soon realized that his position was so
III chosen that had nc, choice but 10.
~capitulate. The last land battle OF
the wal, which began Just a hundred
years ago today, was only q Ishdrmish,
and onsthe eleventh OF February the,
British army surrendered, while the
fleet sailed away to the West Indies.
On the same day that Lambert sur.
rendered, the British sloop-of!war,
,Fayorite arrived in New York. AL.
though war vessel, 1T came on q
mission of peace, for It brought the
first news Of the treaty OF peace
which had been signed at Client by
the British and American commission.
,ers on the preceding Christmas. The
officers and men OF the Favorite, erst.
while hated enemies, were given a
most cordial reception by New York.
ers. and were wined and dined by
the officials and social leaders OF the
town. Messengers carrying the wei.
come Bttdings of peace were sent out
In all directions, and wild utilization
greeted their arrival in every city and
town The people Of the United.
States We're heartily tired OF war, and
especially wac this true in New Eng.
land, where from the first a large pro.
portion Of the population had opposed
the war party then in power.
The messenger sent to Boston
made the trip in such haste that he
reached that city in thirty.two hours,
which was Thought to be q great Of
fort Of speed.n Staid Boston turned
Itself loose and the jubilation in.
New York was but a pale OF, reflection.
OF tho celebration of the Bostonians.
All over the city American and Brit.
,ish flags were hoisted side by side,
the bells of the churches were rung
all day long, the schools and shops
were closed, and the people gave
themselves over to transports Of 10y.
In the South celebrations were held
in every city and town.
In Canada, long rayaged by war,
there was the widest excitement
when the news of peace spread from
city to city and westward to the out.
posts OF civilization In the Wilderness
OF what is now Ontario. Canada, es-
.pecially the8Upper Province, had sui.
fered more from the war than even
New England, and the relief was cor.
respondingly great.
In no other was of history, perhaps,
were the wounds of conflict so quickly
healed. In the revulsion OF public
feeling enemies became friends. Pris-
oners Of war in both the United
States became objects of general con-
sideration. Englishmen and Cana
dians in the States, and Americans in
Canada, damned as enemies of one
day, were toasted as friends the next.
Almost in a day bitter hatred changed
to a mutual good will which was often
extravagent in Its manifestations.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
TooAY,s BIRTHDAY PARTY.
BY o. Terence.
a. H. Hawkins is Sc Today-Hc Wrote

A. H. Hawkins Is So Today-He Wrote
"Prisoner Of eZnda.""
Mr.. A. H. Hawkins, the famous Eng
lish novelist, author of. "The Dolly
Dialogues" 1.-THE Prisoner of Zenda,"
Rupert Of Hentzau' and other wide
ly-read novels, will pass his fifty.sec-
ond milestone today. You thought
the works mentioned were written by
Anthony Hope? Sure-by Anthony
Hope Hawkins. For literary pur-
poses the celebrated novelist dropped
the plebeian Hawkins. MI. Hope
was the con Of a clergyman, and maj
ried an American woman, the daugh-
ter Of Charles H. Sheldon OF New
York.
The author has taken a prominent
part in the Belgian relief work. and
has been loud in his praise Of the
fleet Of mercy" dispatched by the
people to the succor Of the
starving millions Of Belgium. In his
investigations he has found thit,
while Holland, Great Britain and
France are caring for many refugees,
the great masses Of the Belgian popu.
lation are almost solely dependent
upon the United States and Canada
for salvation from famine.
Mr.. Hope recently attempted to
answer the question, why do the
Germans hate England?" He finds
the answer in commercial rivalry and
in German jealousy OF England's sue
cess in empire.building. "Our crying
offense," he says, sis that we have
not kept the rules for empire making
the rules as they have been evolved
by Prussian professors and publicists.
We have presumed to be successful
onN a wrong theory, or without any
theory at all. A lamentable lack OF
system has produced a ~deplorable
successful result-and this Is "im.
moral" Also we seem to have won
our way 'on the cheap'-it ought to
have cost us more. Our way of leav.
Ing things to individual enterprise,
and using national armed force only,
In the last resort, Is totally opposed
to the Prussian conception of deliber
ately preparing and organizing a ma.
tional force to open the path to indi:
vidual enterprise. The two concep-
lions Of national policy are so sharp
an antagonism that the success ofSthe
former Is Of necessity damaging, II
not destructive, criticism of the lat
ter. The success OF our overseas
empire Is a challenge to Prussian
"tradition.r And such a challenge is
e%nvisaged both as an insult and a
menace. Hence their interest in prov
ing that our way Is wrong. and their
indignation at the mere idea that
It may turn out right, and the British
empire no sham after all.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
CURIOUS FACTS.

A century ago a workman with
tools of that time could make 5000
pins a day. Now, with modern ma
iehinery, a workman can turn out 49,
100000.
The teaching Of home economies Is
now required by law in the elemen.
tary schools OF Indiana, Iowa, Louisi.
ana, Massachusetts,, Montana, North
Carolina, Oklahoma and Washington.
The Chinese government, which
owns the country's telegraph system,
has extended 1t until more than $4,000
miles OF land lines and about 1000
miles Of cables are now in use.
The formal report Of a. fire marshal
on a fire which destroyed a barn In
Houston county, Minnesota, states
that a sparrow carried a coal from a
bonfire to its nest with the idea OF
warming It.
The old royal palace Of Belgrade,
where King Alexander and Queen
Draga Of Servia were murdered in
1909, was demolished by order ofsthe
present ruler, King Peter, who now
lives in the new palace, or ronak, as
1t Is styled in the native tongue.
Ramsford D. Buchanan, rear ad.
miral in the Turkish navy, Is an
American, but has been in Turkey
since 1901, when he nayigated a. Turk.
tsh cruiser from the Cramps shipyard.
What the Turkish navy is today is
largely the result Of the work OF Mr..
Buchanan.
Never to have been late for a ser.
vice for IS years Is the proud record,
of Prof. ]. e. vernhams the organist
and choir.master OF st. Paul's
Knightsbridge, London. During that
time he has playedEa at about I, 0O0! ser.
vices, including more than 1000 fash.
ionable weddings.
Rear Admiral Henry Thomas Mayo,
whose demand that the Huerta gov.
eminent salute the American flag led
to the taking OF Vera Cruz, Isl ma.
tive of Vermont. He has been In the.
navy for 40 years. Is D quiet and UNI
assuming man, slow to anger, but
when aroused is counted a first!rate
Etwo:handed fighter.
Gentlemen In tall hats and white
'smocks were recently seen In London
sweeping q clean pathway from vint.
nersi Hall to the old church In Upper
Thames street, In London. The Vfnt:
inerss Company had elected d new
master, and II is their ancient custom
to sweep him q clean pathway
through the dusty city IN thean ae.4nt
costumes.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
UNDERWOOD NOT coNviNclNe.

Speaking the other day with regard
to the Presidents ship.purchase bill
Representative Underwood replies to.
critics Of the President In words that
might have been convincing except
for memories OF Tampico and Vera
Cruz. sof all people, said he, .the
President Of the United States would
be the last man TO involve this coun-
try in Q war %unjustitled: No matter
what you may think OF the reasons
for this legislation, no matter whether
you think II is wise or not from a
governmental economic standpoint,
there Is no man who will say on his
honor as q man and as a. member OF
congress that the President would
commit any overt act that would in:
volye this country in unfriendiy re-
latlors with any nation3in5 the world
No one 10 unaware that President
Wilson and his friends, including the
framers.tip 'of the last Democratic
campaign text book, claim for tho
President the credit OF having kept
us out Of war with Mexico. Assnr.
ing such 70 be the actSthelt text book,
after pointing to conditionslin in Europe
as evidence Of what might have been
on this continent, had printed. on its
cover: THANK God for Wilson!.
Yet n the army and navy expedi.
tion to Vera Cruz was not an act OF
war what was IT. II dispatch OF an
armed force to o seaport of a neigh.
Dor nation to take possession Of tho
same and administer Sc, after a brief
clash of arms In which 10 Americans
and o couple Of hundred Mex.cans
we're killed, was not an act of war
what was IN The President and hts
friends and the Democratic text book
land MI. Underwood, if he cares to
express hinself) may not have seen
in the Vera Cruz matter ""any overt
act that would involve this country
In unfrtendly relations with any M:
tion In the worid,s' but % Is not pos.
sile for everyone to take that com.
Portable view. Many or even most
persons are able to see that 1t was
Mexican weakness In the first place
and South American intervention in
the second that prevented war after
Mr.. Wilson had sent an armed expe-
dition to Mexico.
II Nh. Underwood will cpnsldar{ the
Mexican matter mall its .forner bear.
Ii IS and posss i.ttle he mas c6aclu.le
with the President'ss critics 1t would
be unwise 10 give him more edged
tools TO play With than he Possesses
now. We have no Sdoubt that the
President Is moved blythe best inten.
tons. but neither do we doubt that
his Judgment at q critical moment Is
likely to be seriously at fault
chronicle9Telegraph. s
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
THE cAMALsRcoMPAREp.

3 War dispatches which tell OF tho
possibility of the Turks taking the
Suez canal naturally suggest. a ques.
ton as to the probable effect of such
q coup on that important waterway.
1t - at e level, dug across a sandy
waste dotted with small shallow lakes
and It's destruction IS practically i'm.
possible. It has no formidable for.
tifcattons.
1t - very different with the great
work ut Panama, and the difference
justtfes the building of strong for
tidcations by the United States gov
eminent. A hostile force bent on the
destruction Of the canal Uncle Sam
built might accomplish its purpose by
destroying the immense locks and dy
namiting the deep cuts. It would re-
quire years. TO repair the damage
which might be done ina single day.
Wheeling Register.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
Just Smiles.
SUCH is LIFE.

SUCH is LIFE.
what makes that rich man hurry
so?" said the newsboy-in,the-
"To get ahead, to get ahead" the
corner copper. said.
What makes him eat his lunch SO
fast?' said the news.boyinthe.
shade.
ITO save his time; to. save his time"
the corner copper said.
Hes a-piling up the dollars and
a.saltin' them away;
He's workin' like a cart-horse while
his wife and daughters play;
He's workin' till he nearly drops SOS
he can rest some day.
And be hangin' round the golf
course In the mornin'."
'swhy does the old hearse move so
slow?' said the news-boyin.the-
shade.
cts got a load; IT'S got a load" the
corner copper said.
"Who is the chap that's ridin'. free?'
asked the MISUNDERSTANDING.
"'The wealthy chap that worked SO
hard" the corner copper said.
He hustled in the mornin' and he
hustled late at night;
His business grew SO fast he had to
work with all his might; !.
He thought he'd rest next year, but
now his store Is shut up tight,
And they're hangin' crepe upon It
In the mornin'."
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
Explaining a Sound.

'HH-HHH#HI-
William Collier, the actor, was con.
versing with a man of much scientific
attainment. The scientist narrated
in detail a series of experiments he
was conducting with the microphone.
1.-THE microphone," said he, .magni-
fees sounds to the ear as the micro
scope magniies objects to the eye.
The footballs of a spider heard
through the microphone sound like
the tramping of marching infantry"
THAT is amazing" politely com
mented Mr.. Collier.
This afternoon" continued the
man Of science. II heard a fly walk.
ing across the piano. 1.-THE noise re-
sembled the %hoofbeats of a cavalry.
mans mount"
Perhaps 1t was a hoarse fly" sug-
gested the actor.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
tells me that YOU can reed the future

tells me that you can reed the future
as we'll as the past
Yes, sed the Lady, all 1 need is Q
rooms in witch to work. mite s
the libaryE& the living room. Your
wife e little son can be the witness-
Ees wen reed yure past. 80 as to
Iproov that evrything Isay Is the rite,
thing. Itswud not matter about Wit
nesses sven 4 reed yure futura
15see, geda Pa. Pa was getting kind
of pale; was thinking, sed Pa, that
It mite be albetter skeme for you to
reed my future In front Of the folks
e reed the past with me- me aloan.
That cannot be; sed the sessess.
The Norns have decreeds otherwise.
Who was Norns, sed Pa.
It Is a oalds Viking word for fate,
sed the serress. Cum ! Will LIST read
yure past.
No, sed PA, Sthare will be no show
EthisSevening. WenSI was yttng, seer
ress, hare was certain things that
cain into my life Ewich Lam afraid to
have my son lissens to.
The son can go to bed. sed the
.seeress.
No. madam, sedS pa, the son car re-
main.
g that Is why Pa likes me so well
beekaus I stuck to him until the seer
ess went home q she dident tell Pas
future nor his past eether.
49,
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-02-09
Was Telling Them.

The governor of a southern state
came to his office with a friend one
morning to find a number OF men
waiting in the ante-room. Pauslng an.
instant, he told a story that was a
decided Chestnut" When they got
inside the private office the friend
said: THAT was a horrible old one
you sprung on those fellows"
II know It," chuckled the governor,
."but did you notice the ones that
laughed?"
well, 1 noticed that three or four
did,
Those" said the goevrnor, ARE the
fellows who won't get in to see me.
They are the ones who have fayors
to ask" 3.