Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1915-12-30
(lN(s)1


awful mistake he can make is to go
headlong into matrlmony believing he
really understands the sex and total
ly unprepared for the surprises in
store for him. There are just as many
kinds of women as there are kinds of
weather, and every woman has as
many phases as an April day. There's
nothing so disappointing as going to
sleep on perfect night with the stars
shining and being walked up by a
thunder shower. The men who real
ly understand women are those who
haven't any theories and neva. expect
anything but the unexpected; who
play all the matrimonial tunes by ear
and mix their attitude toward a wife,
as Dinah mixes her batter cakes, by
instinct, putting in little sugar or a
drop of vinegar just at the right mo-
ment, when it is most needed. The
man who enters holy wedlock with
theory in his mind is like the man
who always trots around with an UNI
brella and rubber overshoes He's
prepared for the worst; but he is too
burdened down with the weight OF his
theories and his umbrella to enjoy the
sunshine. Matrimony isn't all s,orms
and it isn't all fair weather; and you
can no more tell one day what the
domestic atmosphere will be on the
next than you can tell from day to
day what the weather will be. The
people who get along best are those
who aren't looking for storms and
trouble, but who are just willing t"
take one another as they happen tn
come, as we do Christmas gifts, or
table d'hote dinner, or a vaudeville
show"
"And," I rejoined enthusiastically,
"who enjoy variety for variety's sake.
But" I added, there may be some
general rules, some vague"
There are" interrupted Kitty,
"just as there are four seasons, but
you've got to have lived through the
seasons before you really appreciate
them or understand them. A Hotten-
tot can read a description of a snow
storm without having the slightest
idea of how it feels, and an EsQuimauX
can study up on simoOns without
knowing how they will strike him. A
man can read everything that ever
was written on women and yet not
know enough to keep his feet off
girls frock or to avoid arg ling with
his wife when her mouth is full Of
pins. And a woman can study treat
Uses on men until her head aches and
then act like a fool the first tine she
meets one"
"And that" I declared flourish
ing my cane, "is where the practice
comes in and the theory goes out"
Eyes" agreed Kitty, 'the theory
has got to go before the practice
comes in or you'll get horribly mud
died. Every woman is different geo
metrical problem with a different an
swer Imagine a courtship college
graduate sending his wife violets on
morning when she wants
them for Tuesday night or thoughtful
ly buying her purple hat when she
sitting in the parlor penning her a
poem when she wants him to come
upstairs and hook the back of her
Dress"
cor fancy a lady expert cU love-"
feeding her husband on
angel cake or health food when he is
dying for beWfsteak, or singing him
an aria when he wants to take nap
Just because sJch things are recon-
mended in the book of rules"
eyes" sighed Kitty. Think of go
ing into matrimony with nothing but
4 stock Of ready-made ideas!"
"And having them shattered in the
divorce court" added.
Managing a man or woman"
went on Kitty, els like managing "a
baby. The high-browed lady who
conducts the mothers meetings may
De an expert on nurgeryology and may
know all about prepared foods and
The training of the infant mind; but
she doesn't know the first thing about
putting in pins or taking button out
u IAS u1OuCA1 IuO I1cIoC O40O
mother with five children hanging to
Ter skirt can cook her husbands dim
her with one hand and nurse three
Eases Of measles and one of whooping-
cough with the other, without the tre-
nor of an eyelid. It isn't education
and it isn't theory and it isn't brains
hat make one successful in mother
lood or matrimony; it's the little gift |
If knowing how"
"And what" interpolated.
"And when-that the gods bestow
finished Kitty, "and
,estow oftenest, it seems, on other i
wise unendowed people. The less a |
nan knows about letters, the more he |
Gems to know about women; the less !
le knows about making money, the !,
more he seems to know about making !
owe; the less he has of honor and in
the more he gets of femi-
line alteration"
"Well, the less woman knows of
he ologies," I retorted, "the more /
he seems to know about using her /:
yes and putting flower in your coat
APPEL; the less fuently she can talk