davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1915-07-01
A PITY AND NOTHING TO PUT
TT IN.

A well-meaning but misguided
brother up in Corning, New York,
has writ me a very weepy letter
bemoaning my tendency toward
the use of slang. He thinks {
mean we'll, but am really doing
more harm than good. He wants
me to ''tone up" my paper and
make it refined and classical, sor-
ter, like The Christian Herald, I
guess. He wants me to cut out,
my home-spun language and talk
like the president Of a Boston
college, using words big enough
to choke bull elephant to death
Aw, say, mister college-found-
cred goodikin! I wonder to my
soul why you didn't learn some
common sense while you were
learning SO many big words?
Now wouldn't you play
smash with trying to- measure
everybody's language by your
grammatical yard stick? If oc--
casionally use a word that amt
in Webster's Underbreeches Die
tionary, I reckon that s my bus
mess. Didn't you know that the
proper words Of today were the.
slang words of yesterday? Where
would the new words come from,
if somebody didn't have original
| ity to make 'em?
Slang! Aw, your foot! Do you
reckon you would know a slang
word from patent calf-weaner
ii you: woke up in bed with ite
doubt it like thunder. I know
what's the matter with you, hon.
ey-you re Just as jealous as an,
old maid because you cannot edit
a good nice funny paper like The
Fool Killer and talk to 100000
people every month. Suppose yeu
start a paper according to your
elevated ideas of journalism and
see how it works. After several
years Of squatting your lifeless
words into paper with a hand
press, you will throw up the job
and get me to send The Fool--Kil-
ler to your little handful of sub
scrlbers. Be ashamed!
The fool-killer., 1915-07-01

One editor says corn is the en-
,blem OF modesty, because it is 50
easily shocked. It's a plain case
that that fellow never shocked
any corn. Easy2 Don't you be-
leve it.
The fool-killer., 1915-07-01
The Devils Letter. .
MY dear Woodpile Wilson:

On, say, was ABOUT 10 1oigeC-
/ promised in my last letter that
/ would write to you this month
and give you some views on
"Neutrality'' from the stand
point of He'll and Wall Street.
So here goes:
I want to tell you in the outset
that the conduct of that fellow
Bryan has been giving me good
deal of concern here Of late. L
called into service four Of my best
sub-devils and put them to work
helping me figure out just what
Billyum is up to. We have used
up all the asbestos paper IN hell
except just enough to write this
letter on, and we amt got the
problem solved yet. l have al
ways considered Bryan one OF my
best friends, and it hurts like
thunder to give him up, but l may
have to do it. Of course | have
noticed for some time that he was
spouting off too much Of that
"peace talk" but [ didn't think
he meant it seriously. [ thought
the blame fool was just talking
that wav as a sort Of blind. You
know my business depends a
great deal on keeping the pub
lie fooled. up, and have always
had a mighty good set Of helpers
in the politicians of the Excited
States.
But, as l say, Bryan has still
got me guessing. hate to be-
1ieve that he has gone over to the
Lords side, and that he is actual
ly in earnest about wanting to
prevent war, but it certainly does
begin to look like it. The infer
nal traitor! He deserves to dance
bare-footed on one of hell's hot
test griddles for deserting a good
friend like me. }.-.
But let US hope, my dear Wood
pile that we can keep the war
spreading without Bryan. I
think you are doing just fine. I
am SO thankful that you went a.
head and sent that note that
Bryan refused to sign. OF course,
as Bryan said, it was calculated
to stir up more trouble, but that
was just what [ wanted. And I
am tickled half to death because
Germany's answer is a fat refusal
Of everything that the Excited
States demanded. That looks
good to me. Fine prospects for
war all around. Please don't let
any Of those "peace cranks" in
terfere with our plans.
Say, that Frank Holt business
was just great! Blamed if he
WASH ia fool for certain Thought
he could stop my prosperous war
business by blowing up the CAPT
tol at Washington and trying to
kill my friend, J. P. Morgan. But
it seems that Holt did know few
things, even if he was a crazy
fool. He must have had a fairly
correct idea of Wall Streets pow
er to stop the war. But he was
barking up the wrong tree when
he thought he could make Wall
Street use it's power for that pur.
pose. The very idea! Wouldn 4
the House Of Morgan be a pretty
blamed fool to cut it's own throat
that way? Don't scare yourself
The Mnrnan in+onna4n hauo hon
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08
the upbuilding of the territory thru

the upbuilding of the territory thru
which it operates.
Formal announcement of the change
was made today from the Minneapolis
office, from which point business has
been transacted in the past. The de-
cision of the company to move its gen.
eral offices closer to the territory in
which it operates comes as marked
recognition of the rapid development
of the state of North Dakota. It is
the conclusion that the company's bus
mess can better be handled from the
city of Devils Lake than from Min
neapolis.
The move will bring five families to
permanently reside in this city at once
and it is believed that shortly after
a number more will follow. The COM
pany handles several well established
speciality lines which are recognized in
modern building. It is likely that
special statesmen will be stationed in
this city to develop business in their
individual lines.
The third floor of the opera house
block has been leased by the company
for offices.
The move of the Bovey-Shute COM
pany has special significance to the
state at large and Devils Lake in par
ticular. The following statement was
issued by an officer Of the company
concerning the change:
believing thoroughly that any bus
mess can best be done to the satisfac-
ton of the customer by local con-
Germ, it has been decided to make the
Bovey-Shute Lumber company more a
North Dakota institution even than it
has been hitherto and to transfer the
headquarters of the company in so far
as the selling and collecting depart
ments are concerned from Mime
opilis to Devils Lake.
"The buying department will remain
in Minneapolis, principally because our
experience indicates that it is a
broader lumber market than any
other. The best of the products
from the coast, from the south and
from the white pine woods of the
north can be selected and bought in
Minneapolis.
Every builder knows that each
wood is best adapted for certain spec
flied purposes but that no wood is
equally we'll adapted for all purposes.
In buying from our yards it is pos
sible for the customer to obtain the
proper assortment Of various woods,
each one adapted for its particular
purpose.
ut will be our aim to become as in
timately acquainted and connected
with the conditions in the various COM
munities which we are trying to serve
as possible, with the hope that we
may be a factor in the development of
the country along the most progress
sive lines, and may be in position to
meet the needs of our customers in
the most effective way and to direct
our policies along the credit and other
lines so as to give to our customers
the utmost of service.
eve hope that our customers in var
ious parts of the state will get into
the habit of calling on us at our Dev-
lis Lake Office. Personal acquaintance
and closer working cooperation with
our patrons is what we DESIRE"
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08
HfLLSTR0N IS
ON WARPATH
OUT WITH PETITIONS TO SUS-
PEND TWELVE LAWS PASSED
AT LAST SESSION OF THE LEG
STATURE.

Valley City, N. D., April 81 am
not doing this as democrat, but as
citizen Of North Dakota" said Hells-
from, regarding the referendums. my
friends will stand by me-" He address
ed meeting at Crystal Springs this
afternoon. He carries petitions with
him, and would refer Senate Bills $50,
1856, 279, 143, 1914, and 1852, and House
Bills 500, 507, SOC, ZIG, 361 and 356.
He cuts all appropriations from Sen
ate Bill 143 except $4,000 for hog
house. He is preparing to push petit
tions this week. Ployhar favors spec
ial session to circumvent plans.
The following laws are on these Pc
titions: The act appropriating $6,666
to pay the deficit in the state exami-
ner's office for 1914, and the one ap-
propriating $24,637 to cover the defic-
it in maintenance fund of the capitol
The Board of Regents act. Law re-
pealing the mill tax levy for terminal
elevators, the law placing the regula-
ton rates to be charged by public
utility corporations under the control
of the board of railroad commission
ers.
Emergency Boards Power.
That clause of the law limiting the
powers of the emergency board which
validates and makes legal all trans
fers or additions to the appropria-
lions made prior to July 1, 1915, is
also on these petitions. This directly
affects the present litigation pending
over the acts Of the board Of control
at the insane asylum at Jamestown.
So is the Hughes law, appropriating
$4,000 for the deficiency at the peni-
Tertiary; Bronson's law limiting the
time for commencing suit under me-
chanic's lien law; Wallis law approp-
rating $15, 1000 to continue the work Of
the public accountants on the states
books for the next biennial; the board
of immigration law; the law increas-
+ ing the term of Office of the members
of the board Of control from two years
to six. Twelve laws in all.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08
Truthful Reports
Minst Reads Them With Uncommon
Interest

A Aiast citizen tells his experience
in the following statement. No bet
ter evidence than hits can be had. The
truthful reports of friends and neigh
bors is We best proof in the world.
Read and be convinced
j. N. Horst, Sl5 Washington ST.,
Miast, says: For long time the ac-
tioa Of ny kidneys was irregular. l
had severe. cutting pains across my
kidneys and dull, bearing-dow pain
through my hips, loins and limbs.
Doan's Kidaey Pills in a short time
completely cured the attack. When
ever have taken Doan's Kidney Pills
since. they have helped me-"
Price SOC, at all dealers. Don't
simply ask for kidney remedy-get
Doaa's Kidney Pills-the same that
Mr.. Horst had. Foster-Milburn Co.,
Props, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08
b0vEY-SHUTF
OPEN OFFICES
AT LAKE MAY |
GENERAL OFFICES OF LARGE
LUMBER CONCERN WILL BE
TRANSFERRED TO SATANIC
CITY MAY1.

Devils Lake, N. D., April Con
May l Devils Lake will become the
home of the Bovey-Shute Lumber
company's general Offices, recognized
as one of the biggest institutions of
the kind in the northwest. With over
thirty lumber yards in North Dakota,
the Bovey-Shute company has for
years proved strong factor in the
development of the state, having ad-
opted broad policy in assisting in
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08
Self Denial Effort.

Next week will be the period Of the
Salvation Army self-denial effort.
Each year the Salvation Army, thru
it's numerous agencies, distributes
clothing, food and provides shelter to
many thousands and no one, should
refuse to help in the work.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08
Immense Alligator Hide.

The hide of the twelve foot alliga-
tor, killed at Eagle Lake, Tex, last
winter by C. H. Parker, arrived in
Minot and was on display at the Lee
land hotel Tuesday. The alligator had
killed many hunting dogs and many
hunters had failed to get him. Mr..
Parker saw the big fellow in some
rushes only ten feet away and shot
him in the head.
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08

Call at the Scofield Implement Co.
and see the Cushman binder engine
and the Western Electric Co. farm
light plants, as we'll as the Curtis
auto trailer. For prices, write Of
phone Bert Bunel, Minot, N. D.
3-1S-tf
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08

as badly after the long indoor life of
Winter, heavy foods, lack Of vegetab-
les and fruits - HOLSTERS Rocky
Mountain Tea will clean and purify.
35c. Tea or Tablets. Mccoy Drug
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08

Walker. Coal Mine will only run on
Mondays Of each week after April S.
E. r. Walker, Owner. 4-1-t3*
The Ward County independent. [volume] (Minot, Ward County, N.D.) 1902-1965, 1915-04-08

In the Spring time you clean house;
the stomach, bowels need cleaning just
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-01-21
JOB GOES HUNTING

Mandan, N. D., Jan. 21.-"TeI Mr..
President Wilson to come out and get
his postoff1ce. There is not a Demo-
crat within 20 miles to take it, " wrote
Postmistress Clark of Janesburg
after she had failed after advertising
for a Democrat for the job.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-01-21

itate flight toward ETzerum portions
of the Turkish forces are becoming
disOrganized and their rear guard is
falling into the hands of the Russian
cavalry advance.
The Russians have occupied Arda-
nutsch, about 60 miles northwest of
Kars, the retreating Turks having
been forced to evacUaJe.
A Russian torpedo boat operating
in the Black sea southwest of Batum
sank twelve Turkish cargo boats.
Furious fighting along German
battle line, extending from st. Mihiel
to Metz, with first one side and then
the other having the advantage, was
reported in the official cOmmunique
today.
French troops in the forest of
Apremont captured several lines of
trenches. The Germans hastily re-
formed and CONGRATULATED, but,
according to the war office, were
driven off with severe losses.
In the same region, northwest of
Pont-a-MoUssOn, the Germans, who
have halted the French advance to-
ward Metz, continued their offensive
movement today. 1t is officially ad-
mitted that the enemy recaptured
several yards of French trenches.
On north French took German
positions northwest of BeausejOur
after steady Smelling had rendered
Cannon 0OcifiOOC 1IOtnO9bln
French armies operating toward
Mulhausen in lower Alsace are re-
ported to be advancing"
Official cOmmunique withhoIds
comment upon renewal of German
attack at Scissors.
Berlin, via Amsterdan.-NeWs of
German air raid on English east coast |
towns aroused great enthusiasm here
today. Berlin papers, particularly
Voit11nn
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-01-21

Vienna, via ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
of several hundred Russians in Sc
we're fighting along the DOnajec river
in Western Galicia, was reported in
the official statement from the Aus
tTian war office today.
A FREE AID FOR THOMPSON'S
The hearing of the plea of the
mattresses union to Judge Baldwin
to dissolve the injunction restraining
the girls from picketing, granted to
George Knab, is now being heard.
Yesterday was the first session.
Atty Edgar Lee Masters, for the
girls, argued the John R. Thompson
restaurants show that good service to
the public and fat profits to the in
vestors can be had by a concern
which has a contract with the walt
resses' union. The bill said:
These defendants (the waitress
es' union and its Officers) further an
swer and say there was a corpora
ton in Chicago known as the John
r. Thompson corporation, capital
STOCK Sb,UUU,OOU, owning great
number of restaurants in the city of
Chicago, New York and other cities,
which are noted for high grade of
food, excellence of service, careful
management, and which are of a
higher grade than the restaurants
maintained by the complainant
George Knab) and these defendants
in that month asked the John R.
Thompson corporation to sign the
said union agreement, which it diu
without protest or delay and willing
Iy, which agreement was renewed
and is in force today. The said
Thompson corporation has in its en-
ploy 125 union mattresses furnished
by the said union"
JOB GOES HUNTING
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-01-21

Vienna, via Amsterdam.
of several hundred Russia
we're fighting along the Don
in Western Galicia, was re
the official statement from
tTian war office today.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23
MANNER or GIVING PRESENTS
Simple Little embellishments Such az
Ribbons, Seals and Holly Count
for Much.

Al no time does the manner OF do.
Ing thing count for 10 much AZ at
the time OF Christmas giving: and
while In q few instances there are
those who overdo the outward embeh
lishment of gifts. none OF US now like
10 offer the simplest little remem.
brance unless wrapped In spotless pa
per, tied with gay ribbons and adorned
with bright seals expressing merry
greetings.
And this Ii as It should be for the
holiday season gains a great deal OF
cheeriness and zest from the multi
pl.city OF berihboned white parcels
whisking to and fro. and we do not re-
gret tho passing Of the yellow paper
bundle OF our grandmothers day.
Hut the attractive appearance Of the
gift In not all that counts. we must be
careful OF the how and when and
where OF presenting II.
The time that custom more and
more sets apart for the exchanging OF
gifts among friends liz Christmas eve.
any time from dusk to midnight. but
Christmas day itself In sacred to pre-
senting gifts within the family circle.
Some families put all the gifts In
the library or living room, In separate
plea. and then, after \ deliberate
breakfast. they all walk In and open
the packages In the presence of each
other.
Never give . gift In person II you
can contrive to send Ii or put II where
1t will be found awaiting the recipient
when he or she Ia alone. for when re-
! ceived In this way the gift makes III
strsngest appeal to ones appreciation
In giving money. even TO near rela
tivAs, the utmost care should be taker
to give II In tho most delicate wa,
possible; especially II you know thu
money Ia needed.
One or the cleverest ways Ia to taxi
4 tiny Japanese umbrella, place thu
money In paper bag and. after roll
ING ana tying the bag around the VI
per part of the handle underneath
close the umbrella over 1t and tie wit
narrow ribbon.
Another good way Ia TO present al
attractive little booklet with chez
or q greenback for bookmark, writ
Ing on the hyleaf, mote page IA,
Turning TO see what liz noted. tn
fresh new paper money is seen an
the recipient appreciates the manns
OF it's presentation no less than tn
material benefit
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
osn4.4ye,*tsS.s.s sTssss .sSSVW
Gratitude as the Real
Key to Christmas Joy
xz1ssz.s,1,1,. Ss:.%s.1e11

: xsr-, NETEEN hundred years
MI MI ago a star poised above a
SWxA iowiy manger in B.ahte'
~ Nx@ mem. and ABOVE the moon"
lit hills OF Judea the an"
gels heraidcd the beginning OF the Ire
of Jesus Christ upon this earth. Ana
once more the birthday OF the Saviour
approaches.
How fast these festai days follow
one another Only few days ago
was penning Thanksgiving day mes.
SAGE, Now we are looking forward
with happy hearts and bright a,itlci"
pations to Christendom great git
giving day,
Gratitude inspires in us the grace
OF giving
Gratitude ia the great original
source of noble living ard service
Just az sin 10 the original source ana
root OF all seliishness. The great all
seeing eye of God as 1t surveys THIS
planet, with all it's scenes OF revesry
and It's riot OF sin, beholds but one
fostering ulcer---selfishness--and gaaes
upon one thing of great beauty-grati-
tuae~-whici recognizes In every need
of man the voice OF God.
rhe immortal Frances ID. Willard
said: Il regard ingratitude as one OF
the basest OF sins,
The psaImist said What shall |
render unto the Lord for all his good
ness to me-" Then answers his own
question by saving: y will take the
cup of salvation and call upon the
name OF the Lord.
Never before nave we so seriously
faced the question OF our obligation to
| Almighty God. There are thousands
! of neavy.hearted, world worried men
and women who will never IND HE
worth living until their lives are
| linked with Jesus Christ
There la no safety save I'm service
| We must use or lose. The Dead sea
| gives nothing out. and that's why 1T IL
dead Many lives are like the Deae
aea. II you would have the Joy o.
Christmas. you must find 1t in doinl
what Jesus did. He went about do
| ing good, NO one VIII ever ma ta'
Christian secret OF happy life save
by trying to make 1t easier for Others
to do right and harder to do wrong.
There Is 10y In lifting any burdenl
OF others, as the little girl found !
who was carrying her baby brothe
across the street. lie was almost al
big as she was,
'.rsn't he neavy9" asked passer-by
"Oh, no. he's my brother"
You cannot be Christian withou
peing good fellow in the sense O
trying to help others to be good. OF
as someone has put 1t, Except 20
erect the cross In your own heart
Jesus will profit you nothing,
o TIoiy Child of Bethlehem.
| Descend on us, we pray;
Cast out our sin and enter In.
sl Ba horn In ia today.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23

As two little girls We're hurrying to
school, one of them saw discarded
Christmas tree In an ash barrel
Lizzie" said she, do you think
Santa Claus Ia a myth
Certainly not" retorted her COM
panion. glancing sharply at her. San
to Claus Is mister. What makes you
lisp SOP"
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23
WHOLE WEEKS CELEBRATION
Descendants Of Old Spanish Settlers
Observed Christmas With Din
ners and Parties.

Among the descendants OF the OLD
Spanish settlers we find that they OBJ
serve a week in the celebration or
Christmas. This begins one week be-
fore Christmas. In the daytime they
have dinners at each others homes,
and In the evenings they give series
of parties at the different houses. In
The evening the young folk go to the
home OF one of their number and
knock. and then all begin to sing.
Those within the house ask. Who Is
there" and the answer is. The Vir-
gin Mary and st. Joseph seek lodging
i'm your house" To carry out the BIZ
BILE story they are at FIRST refused ad-
mittance, and then the door 10 opened
wide and they are all given hearty
welcome.
On Christmas eve the old and
young all join together and nave a
big celebration, In a large hall they
fix up enc side to represent the man
ger, and here they very solemnly give
a little play I'm which many take part,
| the characters being Mary and lo'
| semi the wise men. the shepherds
and the angels, This play is very real
| to them, and they all play their parts
| with a reverent spirit.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23

A convenient gift which will be vel
coined by either men or women is
group OF wall pockets for the closet.
A strip of denim or cretonne is cut
as long as the maker may choose
and bound with tape. Strips OF the
material, ranging In width and length
are bound with the tape and deep
box plat is laid in each one.
These pieces are stitched along
three sides to the plain strip to form
pockets, as shown in the picture
above. The pockets hold slippers
shoes, rubbers. hosiery. corsets OF
small articles for the laundry. Pock
els made to extend the length OF the
closet door will hold everything which
usually finds place on the floor.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23
7v-~~@e
HAPPENING OF UNEXPECTED.

Mrs. Homer---What! Your hus-
band ill2
Mrs peckem--Yes he had an aw-
full shock this morning.
Mrs. Homer You don't say'
Mrs. Peckem-~- Yes; he and | had
! quarrel and mamma sided with
him.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23
NEARER HOME.

sfVhat do You think Of this erup-
ton OF Mount Vesuvins?"
"Why. it's nothing to the one our
baby had
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-12-23
THE MAIN ISSUE.

ssSir, when | marry your daughter
I propose to work"
All right, young man. as long as
vou don't try 10 work me.