Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1915-03-19
Squire Gerald Crum b
Crumbles Before Genius
of Young Girl Lawyer
Defending Newt Bull, of
Pine Notch.
August Tribunal" Thrown Off
It's Feet by Sudden Appear
ance of Attorney in Divided
Skirts, Plaid Waistcoat,
Jumper Jacket and Derby.
rpoN SPECIAL, coRREsPoSpEST


PINE NOTCH, N. j., March 9.-The
great case of the Borough OF Pine Notch
versus Newton Bull has had its day In
court. To report the entire proceedings
before Sauire Gerald Crumb would re-
quire many columns Of space. From the
moment Constable Reg Hay and Bailin
Jim Dolan threw open the portals OF the
tribunal sensation followed sensation.
The climax came when Newt Bull APP
peared in company with young woman
lawyer, whom he had engaged to defend
him. Never had Portla shaken out her
petticoats in the presence OF squire
Crumb before. Nor could you say eS-
actly that Newt's counsel shook out her
petticoats or huttered fluflly and with
many frou-frous and swishings through
the courtroom. She wore divided skirts. a
plaid waistcoat and jumper jacket, heavy
walking shoes and stiff derby with
green feather. She isaa cousin OF MISS
Pemple, editor of the Pine Notch FORT
nightly Bulletin, and 1t was upon the
advice of our talented young journalist
and suffragette that the secretary OF the
Pine Notch Board of Poultry Trade was
persuaded to engage her. The name OF
this striking and startling visitor to Pine
Notch is Ethel Weir Near. She is a
Minnesota blonde with blue eyes, and
was admitted TO practice at Sleepy Eye.
Minnesota, though most OF her practice
is said to be In the adjoining town OF
New Ulm.
Upon advice of counsel Newt Bull
uttered only one sentence In court as ne
was hailed to the bar by Constable HAY
Miss Ethel Weir Near walked beside him,
and noddlng toward her Newt Bull said
simply and finally, Your Honor, my
lawyer, she'll defend me-"
Squire Crumb was struck Bpeechless
In sudden spasm of nervousness he rap
ped his own knuckles with his Eavel
The Bull twins laughed at this and were
summarly fined fifty cents each for con-
tempt of court and elected from the room
by Bailiff Dolan. ZedelSiah Bull. the do
fendant's father. was fined 81 for saying
something under his breath, which he re-
fused to repeat aloud. Reading Spill.
the old driver of Hose Company No. 49,
alleges that q. Bulls whisperings con-
tanned profane comment upon Squire
Crumb and upon his son, Newt for hiring
a woman lawyer. Bailiff Dolan did not
eject the elder Bull for the reason that
Zedekah holds two of Dolans notes.
Counselor Ethel Weir Near smiled con-
temptously while His Honor disposed of
these annoyances. She was still smiling
when Squire Crumb turned sharply upon
her and demanded to see her license to
practice She smiled on while the Court
read through every word of the license
and closely inspected the seals. Squire
Crumb handed back the license with a
grunt and added:
"WHATTER YOU GOT TO sAY?"
"Well, whatter you got to say? The
charge is that Newton Bull has disturbed
the peace an committed a nuisance
agin the comfort an we'll bein o. Pine
Notch, by starting riddle going round
about boneless eggs. This riddle has
caused ten assaults and seven batteries in
this borough. according to special count |
of Constable Reg Hay. The evidence Is |
overwhemin' agin him and there amt no |
use trim out your voice defendln'. I |
reckon he got woman lyer to defend |
him cause man would a-had better |
sense"
rs that ALL your Honor?" asked Miss
Near in a voice so sweet and musical
that half dozen male spectators rushed |
out to be shaved and buy collars and |
neckties. Even Squire Crumb was so |
affected by the sweet tones that he drew |
a comb out of his waistcoat pocket and |
When he had finally got his long grizzled |
locks in shape, he said with less acer-
bity:
"Aint 1t ernuH, young woman? The
usual fine for such disturbances an |
breaches o. the borough ordinances Is |
so. Mebbe you can show cause why I |
oughter cut down the fine"
A PORTALS GENIUS.
"oh. no, your Honor. believe that tho
lne bnOulu Uc IdlScu To at leaSL
replied Portia. Every jaw in the court
room dropped, and Zedekiah Bull turned
white as chalk and dropped off into an
asthmatic trance. The flicker OF a smile |
played about the corner OF Newt Bulls
mouth. for he was on.
"I don't get you, madam" snorted
Squire Crumb who began to have a sus-
picion that she was kidding him.
1.-THE charge Is very grave one is IL
not?" chanted Miss Ethel Weir Near"
land $40 is such puny fine. In an au-
gust tribunal"
This ain't August TRIBUNAL" sput-
tered Judge Crumb TITS on'y March
yet: August don't come till after July"
"You mlsconceive," ran on Miss Near,
by august l meant impressive, solemn:
the full panoply of the laws majesty. Is
It not within your discretion to impose
a fine of 800. or even $1,000. for such a
grave misdemeanor as is specified In the
against Mr.. Bull? You allege
that he caused 10 assaults and bat
teries. each one a crime in itself. Do
you estimate such brutallties In cents or
dollars?"
Hold onl Hold on!" husked Squire
What are you tryin to do.
miss. convict an bankrupt your elient?"
mot at all, your honor; / am Just
seeking a legal construction from you.
Having stated In advance your positive