davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Keota news., 1915-08-20
Faliaelous Fabrlcation..

An old horse that lay sleeping in h,
stall was rudely awakened by th.
hired man, who jabbed him with
pitchfork.
"Oh. no, ho!" said the horse. arisin,
stimy. Another days work ahead.
suppose"
"For once" said the hired hand,
who was q college graduate in di+
guise. your supposition is incorrect
You will be permitted to remain Ia
your stall and rest. Your master Il
dead, and his funeral will be held to
day"
But / am going to the funeral
said the old horse.
"Why. for the love Of Mike" gruh,y
asked the hired man. SHOULD you 70
when you may as we'll stay here and
rest?"
For 20 years." replied the aged
horse. Il have been wanting to attend
my masters funeral. and now that the
opportunity is present. l will not b
denied"
Occasionally 1t happens that al
those in the funeral train are not
there for the purpose Of shedding the
scalding tear.-Judge.
The Keota news., 1915-08-20
Proof Positive.

Diggs-Mrs. Biggs IL unusually kind
to her husband.
Mrs. Diggs-How do you know!
Diggs-He tells me she never sings
when he is at home.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
Globe Sights
BY THE ATCHIsON GLOBE.

No lazy man should keep white
horse.
It is a weak man who iroasts a house
to its janitor.
Certain organizations seem to exist
principally to pay the organizers.
If q boy has red hair and freclles
he may overcome the name of Perez
val.
A veterinarian feels that he
shouldn't be referred to as a horse
doctor.
Some say the devil is a sneak. but
really he does q lot Of advertising in
the open.
A man who is keeping q .son-in-law
should be entitled to kick the cat o.
casionally.
Life is so short it seems to be large
ly devoted to paying life insurance
premiums.
Some reckless men ride motorcycles
while others dodge across the street
ahead of same.
A boy expects to be his own boss
when he is twenty-one. and will get
fooled in several other ways.
1t is great to be Free and Independ-
ent. but jumping a job and getting q
jag is poor way to prove 1t.
If regular rates could be collected
for the free advertising, more men
would Goose q journalistic career.
The busy bee is likely to sting those
who interfere with his industry. but
a busy man can't treat the bores that
way.
Alb. Adkins says that. beyond the
fact that he began life as q poor boy
he claims no resemblance to Abe Lin
coin.
So far as we know, while some OF
them proceed leisurely, no section
hand was ever accused OF not earning
his stipend
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
rFrom the Philadelphia Record

(From the Philadelphia Record.1
Patience Is q virtue, but virtue il
its own reward.
No mere man Ii ever quite so proud
rs q girl with her first beau.
Don't quarrel with yourself. Get
someone else to do 1t for you.
The great trouble with the fellow
who knows 1t all Is that he doesn't
REPRESENTATION II the thief OF time,
and yet It's q word that carries wait.
You can drive imam to drink, but
you can't always make him take
water.
You never can tell. Extravagant
assertions may merely prove that talk
il cheap.
Wasted opportunities are sometimes
merely the ones that 60 to the wrong
people.
It's a good thing not to have time
to think about the things we shouldn't
think about.
Don't flirt with temptation. Even
the buzz saw won't hurt you II you
don't monkey with 1t.
'.Ah! life is too short" sighed the
Optimist. well. you'n find It shorter
before long" growled the Pessimist
P1aywright-My play. SIR, teaches
4 great practical leAD0n In temper
ance.'' Manager-''I haven't noticed
anything of the kind. and read Il
very carefully" But u
runs for three hours without any IN
termtssion."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
Jauhawker lots

Naturally, observes the El!inwood
Leader, q man believes himself to be
| q big gun when he's loaded.
AS the Agra Sentinel observes: #
there Is anything q school kid enjoys
more than . half holiday. it II . whole
holiday.
If it is true that after marriage the
husband and wife grow to look like
each other, the University KAnsan
|pfties Mrs. Harry Kemp.
Where Is all the automobile tax gone
that was to keep the roads In such
fine shape? asks '.Dick," the Bushton
correspondent Of the Lyons Republic
can, and he adds: The roads are now
worse than they have been In several
years.
How long will q chicken live with
out water? asks the Conway Springs
Star, and it tells Of one that did the
trick for some time: About the first
some feterita at his farm home north
of town and covered up q chicken. but
did not know it at the time. Last
week he was moving the fodder and
found the chicken. It was alive and
is still living and lat home" with the
other chickens. 1t had plenty to eat
while it was "in JAIL" but nothing to
drink.
Observations by Obey Weaver, in
his Sedgwick PantagrAph: A frog
would jump from q throne Of gold into
la pool. We are the people
say the politicians after election.
l. Liars should make it q point
to cultivate carefully their memoir
lies. Foolish compliments
are as unworthy of notice as senseless
abuse. Deaf and dumb
folk may be unspeakably happy; it's
doubtful about others. -. In
many families you will find an old
man irving to Quit smoking, and q
young one trying to learn. s.-. BY
the time a man succeeds in reaching
the top of the ladder, he IL too old to
enjoy tho scenery -ss- -.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
Journal Entries

Many q square dear' has = ten
dency to be rough ON the other fellow.
A more or less general belief among
women il that all men are bad.
The easiest way for 4 woman to OBJ
tain O mans wages is to marry him.
In the race for the unpopularity
championship, the nagger has every
thing decidedly in his favor.
Nothing pleases q woman 30 much
as to have an admirer remark that he
is not good enough for her.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

urally antaeonistic. 1t also oeeuas
probable that ~ our human popula-
ton Increases. % will our bird pop
u1Ation.
plan to repeat this census for several
|years and on Z much larger scale. II
bird lovers throughout the land are
willing to aid in the work. The de-
partment's biological survey furnishes
the necessary instruction and report
blanks to whoever Wiahe1 to co.
operate. There are no funds to pay
for this work and It therefore de-
ponds ON volunteer observers. Farm
|ers in the west and south are particu-
larly requested to help, as these Sec
|tions did not receive sufficient atten-
ton during tho past year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

what will do tonight-the story shall
be about kitten and q dog, and that,
am sure, both boys and girls. will be
pleased to hear.
"Once upon q time there lived a kit
ten named Buster. because he ate so
much milk he grew fat, and in the
same house there lived q dog named
Rover.
and liked to sleep, but Buster was
never asleep, at least It seemed SO to
Rover, for no sooner would Rover
close his eyes and think he was to
have q nice snooze than Buster would
come creeping up to him and tap him
on the nose.
Sometimes he would wait until
Rover was sound aaleep and then ~
would jump on his hack ana let his
claws sink into Rover's back like IT.
tie needles. Then Rover would fumn
mp and howl and run. while thaf
laugh. - 80
being . big dog, would not harm snch
z little creature ~ Buster One dav
Rover was lying on the bank Of :
pond near the house. and Busfer
thought It would be great sport to nm
s - 5ump on nis back and Tighten him
Tnis time, however. Buster was tho
one VINO got the fright, for inst a. ~
landed ON Rover's back Rover 1umpe6
up and over his head went poor Bmster
right into the water
Meow! Me-ow!' cried r,,-4e-
maklne Ms paws go very fast.
Into the water went Rover a n,,a.,r
az wink He grabbed Buster ~ fSse
nape Of his neck ana brought him "a
the bank He gave him q RentIe sha ~
Just before he dropped him. e5d I an
not s0Ie whether he meant 20 ahs -
the water from Buster'n 6rinrs,,e A.es
or TO pay on old scores. Anvxav ns..-
Ter looked very much fri~hfene1 :.
nOvSr dropped him and Walked swsv
- 1io not one look back at moor Istfi:
6ueter. who was licking ia f,,r ana
ss usene Il ever he would be dry
Aftsr that Buster did NOT ,,a.,.-
s.over eeatn' when he vas tskfre .
nap. ana he was careful not to hns5er
nann e any Wy. for he knev eest
nover could hevo left him Is ~ 49,.
w.ter 70 drown Il Ne hiA M s~e
kind hearted dog.
!. xter that Rover ana Buster isveA
Y Reece. and
Why. they are m asleep... IL ~
noman. looking q ne eSsSiarHr
141oot him. "NoW shall h.r~ - q ~
tnem All in their be6e. sfss.' ~ poe
nigm win not be late. I'm 80 !. sss..s'S
N e.me 20 they VIII not have Is lcoE
~ me. (Copyright. 1918. 81 tSe
1v 49, NeWsBapers syu6Soats. NJ
>ssesS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
BIZ ROY X l1oULrols.

Unsss Abnsr 9ayss
Ha aay tse . eas;ss:s Are .. s.sH:n
= + very plain to see,
Hsis,. e s. Day e you and = me. .,,1
xsd f e 1 ss@s ss.s ssssa
9 To .tfes% s|n. to o stop his sane eSs :
Al the - dansSterss q f' offi s
Are inscribfng their initials
Or the nanePlates Of old "beteAes'.
Not Mao af SseS siiSs9'1 imm e ea'ene
From the .old-time wedding tnne.
1 ssrs ne !: T ;ssslsr: :1s t1ss
R Rp, their bel y wdFs: little hiensr
That's what makes our country. grow.
wat for ThtAs.
M Tne tsw ssss w ~. az 1 s appear ON
The morning street car crowd win give
TN The book beer soSt fV VIM bangle in front
OF the corner saloon.
the sound Of e &c lawn mower
Then, and not till then It will be spring.
gentle Annie. spring.
Genesas.
Out Of the silence. song;
Out of the bud, rose;
The wind blows.
Out Of the word, q war:
Out OF the steel, ship;
And, 80 we are told, there comes
Out Of the germ, the grip.
Out OF the winter, spring:
Out Of the planet, grass:
Out Of the picture package seeds;
Out Of the garden, sass.
Out Of the bureau, 4 hat;
Out Of the drawer, . braid;
Out Of the closet, cost;
Out of the house, Z maid.
Out Of the pocket q bill;
Out Of the bottle, stew
Out Of the stew, q still;
Out OF the dark, zoo.
Mehey In 10.
A year ago he walked the streets
With afmlessl tread and slow,
An old bandanna at his neck,
His face denOting woe.
His coat and trousers shone with 49,
His hat; once black, was gray,
And rs he shambled here ana there
The people edged away.
Last night saw him in his car,
In perfect evening clothes,
He wore the smile-the diamonds, toos
The man Of millions knows.
His overcoat was rich in fur.
A silk hat crowned his brow,
friend explained the fellows change
He's teaching dancing now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
EUening Chat
The Appreciatiye Guest.
BY RUTH CAMERON.

The question as to whether it is
good taste for q guest to praise an ar
ticle of food or to admire an orna-
n1ent in q hostess home came up the
other day.
Perhaps it isn't. But even II 1t ism
I'm sure it is something better, more
cordial and more human than good
taste.
OF course I don't mean at a formal
dinner party. but at any friendly
gathering where one Is ones hostess
friend as well as her guest.
A hostess is supposed to show hos
pitality toward her guests. 1 think
there is a corresponding virtue re-
quired of a guest. don't know just
nearest. A good hostess gives gra-
ciously. And consider it part OF
such gracious receiving to frankly ex-
press appreciation now and then.
The ideal of breeding which holds
up q vanished insensibility as the
perfect manner. is not an American
ideal, and we do ourselves and the big
hearty hospitable country in which we
are lucky enough to live an injustice
when we adopt 1t.
Don't be afraid to tell your hostess
that you like her salad. II she sang
you would praise the performances.
why should you not praise this dis
play of another talent?
If you admire some ornament. say
so. Few things give the average per-
son more pleasure than to admire his
possessions. He loves them not only
for themselves but because they are
his and any praise Of them makes him
feel like cat having has back rubbed.
A lumpish, unresponsfve, unappre-
ciative guest is one OF the most ais
NAL things in the world. When you
get through entertaining one OF them
you feel as If you had been carrying
q mill stone around your neck.
The only thing worse in the world
than entertaining one OF these we'll
bred icicles is-Weu what's the only
thing cutter than a kitten?
Question. IT would like your opin-
.on If it is right for a young man to
keep steady company with q girl Tor
one year and q half and not tell her
his intentions or ask her to marry
are old enough to be married and
both seen to think lots Of each other.
Would it be proper for the father to
speak to the young MANI?
Reply. I think 1t would be an ex-
| cellent thing for the father to follow
| the good old custom and ask the
young man his intentions whether
| the young man would feel that way
about it is another question. How
over. IL he wishes to marry the girl
he should have no reasons to resent
| that inquiry, and II he doesn't he has
no right to mcnopolize her time.
think we could. with advantage. &C
back to some Of our good old fash
| Toned customs in this matter.
I Question. Apropos of my talk on
the value Of speaking and writing
properly several people have asked
me to mention some good books to
study.
Reply. wooley's Handbook OF
Composition" has been valuable to
me. Sherwin Cody's "Art OF Speaking
and Writing the English Language
has been recommended to me. This
| Is in four volumes on various subjects
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
THE BIRD CENSUS.

Sixty pairs Of English sparrows to
the square mile, or seven to every 100
native birds, in the average through
out the United States, according to
the preliminary census Of birds of
the United States" which has just
been completed by the government
biologists A new bulletin (No. 1870
tells all about this census, and bird
lovers may obtain it by writing to
the United States Department of
Agriculture, Washington, D. c.
The census seems to show that the
bird most abundantly found in the
United States is the robin, with the
English sparrow a close second. In
the northeastern United States, where
the census was most thorough, there
were, on an average. six pairs of rob-
ms to each farm of s. acres. Eng
lish sparrows averaged five pairs per
farm. No other bird is anywhere
nearly SO abundant as either Of these,
but some are numerous enough to
make their total run well into the
millions. Taking 100 robins as a unit,
other desirable birds were noted in
the following proportions: Catbirds,
40: brown thrashers. 81; house wrens,
|
The statistics regarding bluebirds
are particularly gratifying. Only a
few years ago nearly the whole blue
bird population Of the eastern United
States was destroyed by a severe win
ter. but there are now several mil
lion bluebirds in this locality.
AS for density of population, on
each acre of farm land covered by
t1A
one pair OF birds. The record fol-
density comes from Chevy Chase
Maryland, where 161 pairs were
found nesting on - acres. Thirty
four species of birds were repre-
sented.
While there are no previous off.
cial censuses Of the federal govern
ment that are comparable with THU
one. several censuses have before
been taken by individuals, on more
or less limited areas. One census
taken in 1901 by a specialist, agrees
every closely with the government.
census as far AZ the total number OF
birds is concerned. 1t differs. how.
ever. regarding the number OF Eng.
lish sparrows. showing 10s pairs t.
the square mile, or 18 to every 10t
native birds, while the new census, a
previously stated, showed only 81
pairs to the square mile. or seven t.
every 100.
The present bird population Il
much less than 1t ought to be. accord
ing to the biologists. II birds wer,
given more protection and encourage
ment, there would be an increase il
numbers. which would be accom-
panied by . corresponding decreas,
In the number OF insect rests. Tina
breeding birds prefer thiclkly-inhab
tied centers of population to forests i
one of the conclusions Of the census
This seems to rcfute the widesprea,
belief that humans and birds are nat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

Men may be crude mates for women.
as Hutchings Hapgood, tho lecturer
novelist. suggests. But they also hap
pen to be the only extant mating ma
terial Tor them on this mundane
sphere. So what can the poor girls do
but grin and bear them. 1t is a hor-
rible dilemma. to be sure. for the fair
sex to be in, but there seems to be no
avenue of escape for them until the
superman comes riding in on the
crest OF the wave that ushers in the
millennium: that is, of course. unless
they prefer to go it alone, which IL
also their undeniable priilege.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

TEE ANI1-REE-GRLITT1 BILL
There IL bill before the Kansas
legislature to prohibit fee-splitting
among physicians and surgeone. The
bill provides for q heavy fine sad
revocation of the offenders license
to practice medicine or surgery in
the state. 1t also provides that where
there exists an agreement between
physician and surgeon to secretly de
vide the fee for q surgical operation,
This bill has been recommended for
passage In both tho house and the
senate.
Much has been said recently by
the press and by ethical prActition-
ing the fraud of fee-splitting. For
the past twenty-five years the prac-
tice has been INDUCED in by surgeons
throughout the United States. and
with the development Of surgery it
has grown to almost universal pro-
portions Fees charged for surgical
work are related fifty to seventy-five
per cent, according to the custom of
the individual operator. to the physi-
clan who sends the case to the sur
8COu EOG RH ORSI4llOu. 2NAtlOl1AA Ak1SO.
zeal orsa ni1ations have taken active
steps toward discriminating this evil.
The practice has by them been Off
cia1ly condemned. Yet the medical
profession IL powerless to control the
situation from within. and it IL con-
coded by those high In authority that
the Assistance Of legislation has be-
come necessity. Together with this.
public sentiment must be awakened
through the widespread and unspar-
ing criticism Of such dishonest and
degrading methods.
Nebraska and Wisconsin have both
passed laws prohibiting fee-sp1itting.
and Kansas. in all probability. will
be the third state to pass such q
law.
To one unfamiliar with the work.
ings of this practice. the great neces-
sity Of legislation may not seem APP
parent, but little study into the sub
ject is convincing. The family doc
tor, who il the most trusted individ-
ual in a community, sees q case that
he deems prospective Of a surgical
operation. He takes his patient. or
sends him to the surgeon with whom
he has q pre-arrangement foy fifty,
or more. per cent Of the fee FOR the
operation. Thus it is seen that the
physician places his surgical patients
on the market and delivers them to
the surgeon with whom he can make
the best bargain. The busiest fee
splitters are the surgeons who exact
exorbitant fees and rebate the hand
somestc hecks to their patrons. OF
course, the division Of the fee 10 be-
hind the patients back. and 80 the
physician is given an opportunity to
make an additional charge, If he
chooses. 1t can be easily seen that
the opportunities for graft in this sys-
tenn are unlimited. Unnecessary oper-
atoms are common, and the patient
referred by his physician to a fee
splitting surgeon never gets the best
surgical services, because a truly high
class surgeon will not split fees.
The practice Of fee-splitting has
the most degrading effect upon the
morals of the medical profession. And,
as the public has slowly become
aware of this practice. its confidence
has been shaken and doubt and dis
credit have fallen upon the medical
profession where truth and integrity
1,a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

incidentally, the story from Berlin
about the Bavarian soldier, who sim
gle handed, oeercame an English pa
troll Of six men by killing two, cap
turing two and putting two to flight,
is reminiscent of the ancient tale
about the Irish recruit who came into
camp with three prisoners and aston
ished his gratified superior officer by
announcing that he had captured them
alone by "surroundin' thim."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20
From, Other Pens
CoNvERsATION.

The noted writer, Robert Herrick, il
glad that the war has come. because
it gives people something to talk
about. something to arouse their lazy
become q lost art 1t had lost itself
in gossip and story telling. the women
doing the gossip part ana tho men tho
story telling, either OF which - enough
to kill c0nversation-Mr. Herrfck
doesn't know which II the worse.
But there Il ono thing he says In Ia
vor OF the women-their gossip IL
nearer real conversation than story
telling, and the women are the main
dependence in leading the talk from
where q bright and ambitious hostess
leads in the talk and turns the COM
rpany to substantial conversation. In
which generalixations ana fundamen-
tails take the front rank. Men don't
do this half as much - women. The
other night three ladies and three
gentlemen were together in q parlor
and the question came up about the
captivity and return of the Jews, when
the women Immediately resorted to
history and the Bible to decide the
point in question. but the men put
in their time making rhymes about
Nebuchadnexxar. There il the trouble
that women have-whenever men
come about, the latter incline to as
sumo 1t 10 time for foOlishness. Not
withdrawing the women do the gos-
siping and men the story telling, So
ciety would become vapid. indeed. IL
1t were not for the Women.-Ohio
State Journal.
A VALUABLE OBJECT LESSON.
A resident Of this city has received
from q member Of the Gordon High
landers q letter indicating that Great
Britain has sent to the continent q
second East Indian army, consisting
Of approximately 10000 troops.
which were transported in six troop
ships. Also comes an announcement
from Sydney. via Honolulu. that nine
troop ships. carrying $4,000 soldiers
from Austraiasia, have sailed for Eng
land, and that 10000 more will start
shortly. In view Of these reports.
what about the theory that the United
States never can be invaded by for
eign troops In force because Of its iso-
lation between oceans? 1t looks very
much a. though these movements Of
British soldiers will force some Of our
theorists to modify materially their
conclusions.-Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

FFrom the Chicago Newk1
Blessed Is he who keeps LIS strot1-
bles to him1en.
Silence may be golden or 1t may be
an admission Of guilt
If man il miserable 1t Is usually
because he thinks he II.
True wisdom never thinks Itself
wiser than 1t really Is.
Poverty has its good points. A poor
man never has the govt.
Love makes the world 80 round.
but revenge tries to square IT
Nature balances things by marrying
q fuHsy woman to quarrels0me man.
People boast OF their ancestors only
after the world has forgotten their
records
Some men reach the top through
their own shreWdness ana some
through the stupidity Of otherA
What = boom It will b for the mil
liners when the suffragettes set fAI
enough into politics to bst hats ON the
e1ection8s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-20

Senator Lambertson's bill providing
for the holding of state primaries in
May instead of in, August would only
add to the political agonies that are
now SO annoying to the bulk of the
people by prolonging the period of
their activity by two or three months.
This would seem to be a sufficient
reason for the throttling Of the meas
nre