davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1915-10-15

cnifcs. = UT hpre i'm Giere al
oooe Sarme til'ulpS. Senb mig ION
tont EriS % %sl'ripel'e, =. i. Snlb,
minneapolis. Mlnu.
Decorah-posten og ved arnen., 1915-10-15

YroieSior og Mr$. &. q. Sperati
gap Ianoaes Iiten tort SeIitab Tor
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21
jim HOPKINS NOT
A GENTLEMAN

The sheriff Of Benson county sat on the
front steps of the county Jail smoking
his pine and watching two dogs at play
across the street. when there wis a sud-
Gen thunder of hOofs on the street and a
band Of thirty men rode M and flung
themselves from their horses.
Gentlemen began the sheriff. he
arose and bowed to the crowd, ''ncbbs
some critter among YOU will be good nuff
to explain thu. objcclS of this yerc visit"
''We are after Jim Hopkins" replied
the leader of tho gang.
Jim war bruug down to my Jail three
days ago. to be tried fur boss stealth.
DO I understand that YOU gentlemen de-
sir" TO speak with him.?
we mean to hang him. Out OF tho
WAY now. for we'y" no time for foolinG,"
''Cicntlemen, Gentlemen called the
sheriff. as he waved his hand over the
crowd. Am k'rcct in belicVin' YOU to b.
gentlemen"
''Of course YOU are was shouted back.
And I'm a gentleman myself. and
veil make a Eeutecl affair Of this. YOU
dcsir" To hang Jim Hopkins?
YES. and we want no delay"
Thar shall be none. | haven't had
time To- really size the man up. but ! tax"
him to he gentleman. same as the rest
OF us. If he is one he can't object 10 be-
ing hung. | will 50 in and prepar him
The sheriff opened the door behind him
and disa ppeared for about three minutes
Their he returned to say:
Gentlemen, you will please accompany
me around to the rear Of the jail
The crowd moved around and at once
saw a hole in the brick wall. and had no
trouble in deciding who made IL.
Addressing YOU gang of gentlemen as
n gentleman said the official as he
pointed to the hole, ALLOW rue tn observe
that Jim Hopkins must hev made that
this forenoon and as a conscience 10
now fur away and this hangin' bee ar
indefinitely postponed. And | Will fur
Their add that to the best Of my knowl-
edge and belief any burned critter who
will walk of in that sort o way hainl
never been no gentleman. can't be one
and ortcr quit washin' his shirt and usin'
Waller soap on his hands. AS n gentle
man I now invite you critters of gentle
men to cum around In front and take q
gentieman's drink from my two-gallon
Jug
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21
DER GERMAN COBBLER
He Tells of Tip Reporter Gaue Him

, ..So sir"
..Rccause hat lived in Australia for
ton Years
..VheIi":.
Ind soon hundreds; Of kanraroos"'
.Yeso''
Ind if Won saw dot ybas n kangaroo
| saw YOU yhas a blamed old LIAR
PM I don't nv 50 l dom r.,u hin,
by anv name / leave dol to YOU"
..Thanks' II yhas some srII of
ours hui vo,, 90 sbcaI mil NV shoes
YOU look 10; BE- very harmless. but
,r,ess yoI, 70 nm IN g. trick or tv-o
lind a woman NIT two rairs Of shoes
10 no fixcd Don comes in und saws:
Mister Cobblcr, YOU can't fool me-
..Nop''
Il h,r lived in Vermont where dc,,
ybas ono t'ousapd coous init rings
around DER tails
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21
BOWSER WAS. SA WE'D
BUT HE WASN'T A BIT THANKFUL

Just as the Bowsers had finished
! wagon drove up with a parcel. and as
il was brought in Mrs. Bowser looked
at il and turned for an explanation
| Mr. Bowser didn't give one until they
got upstairs. Then he assumed look
| of superior wisdom and began:
DO you know the money value OF
the property annually destroyed by fire
| in the United states"
1T must be quite large" replied
Mrs. BowSer.
1T amounts to tens of millions oil
dollars. my dear woman. Not only
/ that, but at least 1000 lives are sacri-
feed to the fire fiend every year Bust
ness is interrupted and ruined, homes
made desolate. wives made widows and
children made orphans by the devour-
ing element. You should read up on
more food for reflection than a hun
dred novels
Have you posted YOURSELF" she
asked. with tartness to her tones.
I am talking through the top of my
! head. do you" 1t was my duty to pos,
myself. and l know all about it There
were just 1929 fires in the country
S12s.2S2.147 The point set out tC
make is that of these ll,329 fires S.2SS
were due TO carelessness.
How carClcSSneSS"
The CarelcSSneSs of women and
children mostly. Every time you heat
your curllng-tonEs you may set fire tC
the house. The cooks carelessness
may start a fire in the kitchen. You
light the gas and drop a match. The
cook filings matches about where the
rats can get at them. At any hour OF
the day or night your absent mind
edncss may reduce this home To ashes. -
And how about your leaving lighted
cigar stubs around" asked Mrs. Bow
ser. You have burned three holes in
Ia S-.,f
the curtains on fire and done other
damage"
Woman. | am talking statistics
shouted Mr.. Bowser as he turned on
her with such majestic dignity that the
cat wondered if she had ever met him
before. Passing over the fact that
YOU aud the cook and even this infer
nal old cat are liable to set this house
on fir" any day in the year. let me say
that il people had been prepared for
fires there would not have been half
the loss OF property given in the statis-
tics. While ] cant watch over you
from hour to hour. ] can in a meaSur"
offset your CaTeleSSneSS by being pre-
pared TO nip conflagration in the
bud
Then the package downstairs is a
COnfia grafton nipprr" she asked.
Don't try to be funny. woman. This
is matter not only Of dollars and
cents. but of life and death. and | want
it treated seriously. That package
down the hall is a fire eXtinEuisher.
You may at some time or other have
heard of one. the same as YOU have
heard of a pile driver or a thrashing
machine"
Yes. | have heard Of them.
They are TO eNtinEulsh Incipirnt
conf1a CrationS For instance. | awake
at midnight and smell smoke. | leap
out of bed and come down here to find
a fire just starting in that closet-a
fire due to CarelesSnesS. Left to it
self for five minutes more and away
would go the house and our lives. but
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21

recent date. In fact. there were some
which L" longer circulated in England or
India From the material and construc-
tion tn" captain judged that the boxes
had been made by a ships carpenter In
tn" pile at the foot of the tree were ny
ten other boxes of the same size. one
was broken open. and its contents found
to be the same as the first. and the
amount very nearly the same. There
was total, as tine captain injured or
slco.0" NOR" pr leSs. This was based on
the superstition that all the boxes con-
tanned gold. but as h. looked into only
two he could 40; be sure of the contents
OF the others. How came the treasure
there? Captain Graham believed it to
b. a pirates cache" and that the gold had
been there long years before he had been
thrown on the beach. Perhaps the mad
sailor had been one of the pirate crew.
1t was certain that he had un"arthed the
prohabl" that he had stumbled upon II by
accident
Well there WAS big fortune there.
and il belonged, to the finder. but il
might have been 50 much sand for all the
GOOD il could do him. Days and weeks
and months passed away. and one day
, the ra>tlway counted mp the pebbles he
had laid in rows along tn" beach to mark
The time. and found he had been eleven
months on tn" island. ON that day there
came a furious gale from the east. and
= very high tide. and trtl son'r wreck
tity Of stun. There WAS nothing to eat
or wear among tho wrcCkage. but there
Ner" plankS and spars and carpenter :
tool chest. and as soon as the storm mad
abated The caS:aWdy went to WORK 10
build him raft. lie had determined I"
leave the island mt any hazard. and after
four or five days work he had his raft
completed. II was a rude but stout af-
fair Wild fruits were taken for pro-
vi~iGns and fresh water was carried in
a wine keG. which had come ashore with
thu, wrcckage- From one OF the boxes
the captain took $500 in gold pieces. and
ore morning when the wind was from the
west he launched his raft and driftcd off
before il. BY his reckoning. which was
proba oily correct il was seven days be-
fore he was picked w by the John j.
Speed an American merchant vessel.
homewsrd bound.
Captain Graham at once set about find
brig was finally chartered and sailed
with him aboard. but after cruise OF
months she failed to find the island
Where Graham said the island ought TO
be lead found bottom at forty feet and
i'm the immediate neighborhood mass OF
trees ard bushes was found floating
about. But for certain things the whole
story would have been put down to sheer
Imagination. IL was a fact beyond dis
pute that Captain Graham was swept
overheard. He was picked up off raft
eleven months later. Where had he lived
in the interval II not on an island? There
was the raft to prove his story, and how
about the gold pieces? Some of them
were so old as to have an additional
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21

by means Of the cxtinEuish"r l eNtin-
Which is very kind of you" she OBJ
served.
still trying to he funny. are you?
The object is to provoke me. but it will
fail. | have not yet purchased the en-
tinguiSher. but brought il home to test
il. | want you to learn how to handle
il. SO that you may he prepared in my
absence. 1t will also be well for the
cook to know how
Are YOU going to set the house afirc
in order to put il OUT
No ma'am, | am not. I am going
to set fire to a pile of newspapers on
the cement floor of the cellar and then
show you how to douse the flames out.
There will be some little smoke. but
that can go out of the Windows.
Mrs. Bowser felt certain that some
disaster would happen if anything of
either give in or have row. and she
gave in. The cook felt the same way.
but she wanted to keep her place for
the winter. Before going down cellar
guisher and explained what it was
Charged with and how it worked. He
also gave a briec history of the great
Chicago fire. which might have been
prevented by a cool man and an eNtin-
suisher. Then the trio proceeded down
cellar. and he heaped up lot of old
newspapers and gave history OF the
Boston conhaCration, which could also
have been checked in its infancy by
one squirt from a squirter.
Now. then" he continued as he
opened the cellar windows and got
ready to strike a match, Two will make
this scene as realistic as possible. II
is midnight. | awake to smell smoke
and hear the faint cracking of 'he
destructive flames. ] bound out OF bed
without saying anything to anybody.
and as I came downstairs ] find the
cellar ablaZc. 1t is from the cook :
carcIcssncss as she brought up coal for
morning seized the cNtinCuisher and
come dashing down. and. though II ap-
pears as if no human power could stay
the confiagration. | tackle II and have
it out in twenty seconds. ! will now
light the papers and show you how the
thing works.
As the papers were alight he rushed
upStairs after the eNtinSuisher.
minute later he appeared with IL
strapped to his back and the nozzle in
his hand. He had meant to keep very
cool and do the thing up beautifully.
hut he grew excited over il. and as he
was met by volume of smoke he lost
his head and his footing at the same
time. With whoop and a yell he fell
forward downstairs and rolled over
and over to the cellar bottom. As he
rolled, the eXtinguisher tried to eXtin-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21
The Story of Captain Graham,

ami the captain had not yet recovered his
Sjr"u"th. hut, shaking the man off. ne
seized a club ami laid about him so viEDr-
UrSlN that his assIilant ran away
II Nh = whit" man. and from the
MARKS 81 his hands he must haVr brch
sailor How long shc had lived there
a"d how he reached III" island in the first
rI'"" ar" matters Of conjecture. nut the
fact 81 his being mud" went to show that
h' n~1 n"cn there long enough To wear
out his clothes. In breaking away from
ia" captain he ran for the beach The
Latter followed at his heels. shouting for
him /" stop hut tn" unknnwE ran to the
water. plunged in. AMI swan straight out
t" sea. looking back now and then and
S'c'1ln% I" be in terrible fright. He
held To- his c"urS" until he could no long
Cr b'. seen. and thcr" was no doubt he
went 4" mis- death. as he did not return.
In a dr'ISt. thickct the captain found a
r'l" shelter which the man had used.
and among tn" dried grass forming his
bed WI" q few fragments Of cloth.
hi"h T"d once hcCn pea Jacket. There
w. AL" = sailor pipe and an empty to-
am! Years with neither the note Of a
bird az tin" ctirD ri cricket 10 cheer
him. Tn" man had lost his mind. and
looked upon CAPTAIN Graham as an in
trud"r who meant to take his life
The center Of the island was Consid-
orahly higher than elsewhere. and OK
h"tiy in III" midd," WAS Il single tree. sur
rounded by thirkct. which the CAPTAIN
had never vet penetrated. In carving
out his explorations he entered this cOpsc
"rdin" hard-b"at"m ntth evidently
made hy the crazy man Piled AZ AT the
roots Of the tree Ii" captain found a
great stock Of small iron bound boxes
and u needed but one glance to satisfy
him HAT they Were treasure boxes. There
VAS the cavity where they had once been
buried and tn" boxes We're weather.
beaten - II long exposed. Two or three
!JrS" EhCliS lay about. which had doubt
l'sS n"cn used ~ dig ont The dirt and
"!," If IT," boxes had been opened.
g-grt. Sbppffspr..l
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21

Euish. but instead of tho stream strik-
| ing the flames il played on MI. Bow
| ser'S head and feet and body-on the
ceiling above and tn" walls around
( on the women who tried to rush for
! ward and help him ur. The pile OF pa
, p"rs blaZcd. and tn" Smoh" poured out
seconds before some one was poundin .
at the front door and yelling Fire:
| Mrs BowSeT and the cook lodged tn"
! fire and the cXtinguishcr and fed up
! stairs. but il was too late. \ score of
people crowded in as soon As the door
was opened. and without asking ques-
] and snatChed up anything that could
4 hold water.
! MIR. Bowser had got up by this time
and had got control of the squirter.
people who were throwing down wa
ter. As he yelled and shouted and
swore an engine came rafting up. a
| hose nozzle was thrust into the open
utes zoo barrels of ice cold water
Gushed into the cellar. Everything. in
GLIDING Mr.; BoWsc.r was. afioat and
soaked and chilled to the marrow
when Mrs. Bowser finally made the
overzealous populace understand the
situation. Then Mr.. BoNser was haul
ed out of the window by fireman. and
while Mrs. Bowser and the cat stood
on the steps above and the pOpulacc
crowded around. the fireman held the
fire statistician up against the wall
and called him seventeen kinds of a
Euncomb County fool. and added tina
he ought to be drowned like a rat in
tub. Five minutes late Mr.. BOwSer
stood in his own front hall. with the
door shut after him. and the crowd
dispersed. He was soaked and limpy
and smoke bcgrined and half scared
to death. but he remembered his dig
nifty.
We'll. the incipicnt confaEration
has been cXtinEuiSh"d." observed Mrs.
BowScr as she looked him over.
/ TT is eNtinEuished." he hoarscly re-
piled. Yes. woman. the incipient con-
fiagration has not only been eXtin-
guished. hut you have been eXtinguishcd
with it,
Then it was all my fault. was it,
a put-up job on me from the start
! to finish. Woman. I go upstairs to
change my clothes. DO not follow me
to offer explanations or assistance. or
to finish your work of stabbing me in
the back: | know you at last-at
And he pulled himself up stop by
step. and he halted at every step to
point his fingers at her and nod his
head He meant by that the most dire
revenge a human being can conjure
up. but she only sighed and wiped up
| the puddles of water left behind him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21

Ny" had 'aI"d al ManfltliS on our way
."m Liverpool I" f"'"hhH Ia Ia" snip
"r"Wel anu NCf" hN" days ""' from
.H' lSIhi" NH'il Inc 'lN'hlui' 600 iii'u
.'N NM'h w. ''Si Inc captain anu '"''i
ih. inI'natl"h Tor inns story II was &"
"'l"'h IL t'' "'l moon "I a "rl-nI H"N-
I'D ~" $hii' W. not ildkinS hh"N" Tour
Ni"'iN an n""'. N l'l' "a th''' vas IN
""i'i not have h'ih"r"d Il H'ihrt"r-""at
iM' lh" snip IHL'h l" " wave "il\ IL
t'"G intervals. he second h,Ht' An" 1
N.l1 Su"T!n'"ndlnG som" ""rh forward
""'' IN '"l.h WIS ''"'' 'h .I"'
quarter H"CN Al "l 4 sHoi"n ana win
"Hj a nom, nj warming. IN" S"a ".-'th
!" '"I ara n''tN" uh"'t ''hd around y IN
'h. mast NlpI"n' m3nn'r. ana i"Y hNr
minutes every Wfu me-" l" h"I" IN l"r
'..@ me-. Ia h'' h''hihI inc '''t snip
80 tnr'- 81 '""i Ir"'.n S'''iS. Wni,h
'.'''" m "'""S "i ''E'i Nlh'h- W"Nh"!"
.h W. W. r. '".Tl ''nI"'Ih- ourselves
.hi' ''H ii"H di"'' ""'H ' 'hp'di
us '"iI" 10 FL" 'fHS>InE NJ man ~
,'" N"'''I MA" mao narrow escape from
.'''l~ SN'in "r"f ,"'Hrn. Hhl Tor Two or
i n'''IIrS Sl Jos, Si-i 81 Ar aI,a IN
'''",'''' ne 49, S''h W. E.ii,p'h mao n"
'"'.'' We" "''' 6M"N. ana ''N me lIi''
We ~" corr !" inns '"h'h>l"h II was
''r' '"'' 10 .''N'. any ,h",' = uIHlt'T
." .''"' H. ne I'M, puI,''' h'f '"H"-t
,"I 'l''' 'i' '''' :" ''"''i"iN Ni'h"uI
..''''I INV, Il'"l'' iiii '"' ''ihd'HI'I 81
'' ~'"H .hl'9 ~ IN HP1,'.'.-
Almost ''f"r" n" f"hIII'" ms n"Sltlnh
.' ''-'f 900 " ''''' % ''' ~
mr." that n" "oat would h' lowered To
'N1N" 4 :E"rCh Tor nm haElnS found
e'8" ana iaSh"d himSci I" -. Inc "rift"d
.'NdN 1" IN" W"St ana evening came" on
H"iN''h crock and SuhSf' inUf ShlpS
rfSS"" -" drifting man nut al to" I1r
away !" 500, or near. AMI Wh"n niEht
am" down n" i'It tn"r. WdS u" i"nS"r
IN" >h-hI"S' 'hAn"" Tor MN. TIC dStie"
:" IN" westward. as nave told N"u: hut
how TAR mas never h""n known. MINT
passed ana th"'h'r "aN 't'n". ana 10
ward IN" clos" az that dII 'artain Ora
h1n LOST 'nnSr'"lSi'"s -" may nav"
driied DAY "it"l ihti perhaps w"
d"\S. W non n" cam" - nus senses ac.ln
n" WAS lNIuE IN = St'IiN beach with his
f""t IN the water. lie Had ho"n cas-
.'Sh"r" on an island. u was surely an
island (" tn" north and Wcst of NahHGa>-
ar. hut for reasons which viii he "N
ulatn"d Later on II cannot h" more def
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21
SANDY BEND JUSTICE
Judge Hoke Aims to MingLe Sense With 1t

This we're court bem' open" said Judge
iiOk". of Sandy Bend. as he felt behind
iIIm 10 see il his guns were TINS
we're court b"in' open and the Goddess
"f Jc~tic" bein' ready for biZness, | will
All tn. case Of Lee Hung. the wall-eyed
h"ath"I. who is charged with stealth a
I'l..ka. from the camp ri Inn Robinson.
ill., mt any need al LAWYERS or wit
.... fur ! saw tho ,'ritt,r myself as
Ia nm to town with IN" tool ON his
shoulder. We ar not @"in' Ia Az why
h. stole it. ka~c that amt our bIZneSs.
linn Robinson SAW him when he picked it
up and fired three shots arter him and
never teChed ha'r In one way this
court feels that she Ortcr let that
Leather 60 his way to pay off Jim fur
helm SIGH A poor shot. and in another
III" can't furgit that them heathenS hey
cum over to this kentry to eat with chop
sticks. work fur n dollar a day. and bust
MP our religious inStituShuns. It's Jest
InsShle that the crittcr mistook that
pickaN fur 4 mewl or a bag of flour.
hut that can't count in his favor. Why
Ia" didn't hide the tool is nuthin' (" this
court nor the StatoOtS of this territory.
W hat We hey got 10 look at ar the fact
that he stole it. and that Jim Robinson
had the gall TO cum to me when ! was
busy in my Red Dog saloon and hollcr
iBr warrant. -
II wanted to go aCcordIn' to law ex-
planned the plaintiff as he stood up.
Wall. We went that WAY. Jim. and I'll
CIV" Ne plenty Of il L""-IIunS. durn Yer
hide. I'm -oin to fine y" so, That would
l." purity steep flu. a White man. but it,
NV dOotN to crush the hrathen whenever
| gifts show. Jim. YOU not only had
three shots at the ChiuNman. but missed
Inn every time and then bothered me fur
an hour I"u,n hev t" cum down with
the costs in this case. which is about So
m If We don't pay Hp ainre night won't
miss you. That settles that case.
NC now hey aforc MS the case of J""
Parker versus Hank Scott. and the law
Yer. needn't crowd To the front to d"
any talkin Joe had m!nIn' claim on
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-21

One time a reporter for some daily
papers comes in my shop to get INT
put on der heel of his shoe. ana alter
five minutes he says TO me:
| "Cobbler. do you go to Europe every
| summer
Il don't even so by Coney Island" I
says.
Don't you own some steam yachts
'Eut YOU own big house in der
country"
II should like to see him il l do.
But you lend J. r. Morgan million
dollars occasionally
look at dot young man a long tim"
! to sec if he vhas crazy. By und by he
| "CobbIcr. il Il merchant don't get der
peoples to come to his store can he sell
his goods
What you do to get peoples to come
to your shop"
"vhcll. it yhas fecftcen cent for ce-
But dey don't know it unless dey
come in"
"a few peoples go by here. und dey
shust like any odder cobbler shop. Why
should dey come in
I don't say nottings. und he goes on:
DO you Invite der pooblic in here
"Eaferypody vhaS free to come in.
so caferypOdy Vhas free TO be run
over by a trolley car
But can l stand IN uef GOOf una
talk to der peoples" | asks.
oh. no.
can i hire some brass bands"
No. again. but d"rc WAS ndder
in shop window. II vhas shuSt an
old hat. Sooch tramp wears.
Dcrc NhaS no sign TO explain. aund yet
NIFTY peoples wer" gathered around.
You see. you must get der pooblic hey"
to get der custom. What Will bring
EN-: curiosity Will"
How curiosity
Like dot old hat See here. Hans.
| let's hat talk
! ind We talk for one hour. Der newt
morning der" vhas some "%cit"m"nt
wooden cage. und in dot Gag" Nhas an
old hen. She haf some corn to eat,
Und a dish of water to drink from. ON
1 dot cage vhas a sign dot reads:
Was il coon or a kangaroo!
Bring in your shoes to be fixed oop und
find out"
My wife says ! make fool of my
self. ind dot nopody comes. but she
was mistook. In one hour one hooner-
ed peoples vhas looking at dot hen und
CRYING out:
Dot vhas no kangaroo"
Nor vhaS it some coOns:
WHAT'S his game"
shoes to be me ded. dat dcy might
find out all about it. | say to dem az
fast as dey come in:
Ladies und Eentlemens: | vhas
Hans, der German cobbler. | make
new shoes to measure at der Very
lowest price. No hit no pay. | take some
old shoes nit holes in 'em and MAKE
'em last you six months. My charges
for lifts und patches vhas lower dan
anybody else on der street. Work done
day und night. Only der best of ma
terials used here. Now. den. What can
do for you
Please. Mr.. Cobblcr. | never saw a
COON" says a womans.
"VhclI:"
Don't dey have some fur on"
Il belief dey do
But dis one has feathers"
Yes. / sec Well like enough she
vhas no coon. but a hen. Yes. she looks
to me like a hen"
But if she vhas hen What of it,
Did YOU ever seen a hen in cage
in a cobbler's window before:
''N-O-o-.
Den it Vhas something's new to you.
Look at her. Study her. You may
never hat anodder chance
'VhclI, ] vhas much Obliged to you.
CobbIer. II vhas like der education
pictures at dose movies.
One mans crowds in und calls TO me:
Say old mans. do you call dot kan
CarOo?'