The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-08-01
By GEORGE R. MINER,

By GEORGE R. MINER,
For two years SUNDAY Editor of the Philadelphia
Pros. for tour years Editor New York Herald. for
nix years special London correspondent Of the New
York Herald. for three years Sunday Editor of the
Ne" York sun and formerly Editor Of the Cosmo-
politan Magazine.
Copyright. lel5D
The most enjoyable way to go to the
San Francisco Exposition and come back
is to lay out a route that in shape looks
like the ground plan of a piece of pie,
with the 1sthmus ofPanama at the long
point.
1 made this statement to an English
man on the ship, but it didn't get over.
He politely thought about it a moment
and then said:
Il fancy | don't follow you. There is
no point to pie. YOU know. One simply
dips it out of the dish. Possibly you
mean to say large American tart that
has been cut UP into pieces"
Anyway, my hea Is to loop North
America, pillow down the Atlantic. through
the West Indies, across the Caribbean
TO the Isthmus. through the canal and
up the rolling Pacific to San Francisco;
then come hack across the wonderful
Canadian Rockies and the back yards
of Canada to Halifax. It's A case of the
longest way round being the best way
there. two sides OF the triangle on a
water wagon instead of following the
cinGers all the way across the continent
and back.
1t costs a little more to go out by
water than by land. but you get your
moneys worth and other things that you
don't pay for including perspiration. Any
one who tries to do the trip for less than
500 will have to shave closer than you
can with a safety razor. l looked harder
than Dr. Cook did for the pole and
couldn't find anything to beat that
OF course. there are always two ways
Of travelling. just as there are two ways
of buying a suit of clothes. You can
either get your trip ready made or have
It made to order. The tourist agents will
sell you all sorts of ready-made trips
that fit pretty well. and include transpor
tation. meals hotel bills, carriage rides.
admissions and about everything else eX-
cept tips tipple. and an easy conscience.
Along with SOS other men. women
and children in the first cabin. | sailed
on a Panama Pacific boat. The wom-
en- and children were first by big
ajority. 1t was easy to see that the
were not in for any sine
cures.
This ship is a big boat with $4,000
tons displacement. whatever that
means. At least that's what's printed
whenever there is room to get it in. l
don't know personally | didn't weigh
it. So long as the ship is light enough
to float don't care a hang how heavy
it is. This boat runs straight from
New York to Colon without stopping
Or even hesitatinG. Then she goes
through the Canal under her own
steam, despite the fact that she draws
thirty feet of water. and the Navy De-
partment announces itself timorous
a bout the slides in Culebra Cut and
wouldn't let the fleet so through
Looks a little fshy. but ] must write
the truth. let the ink splatter whom
Il will. From the 1sthmus up to San
Francisco there is only one stop made
at Los Angeles.
Naturally. in figuring the cost I am
making it from New York. If you come
from other places land the great ma
jOrity dol you don't start the trip
+. o. b. on the ship at the pier. There
are railway ticket agents, Pullman
oorters and jitney busses to be reckon
ID with. and, believe me, that is some
The steamship company-which is
now called the PanamaFacidc Line.
although it was formerly the Red Star
that it makes the
voyage from New York to San Fran
cisco in seventeen days. Well. we will
see about that.
Now. as to departure: Running around
he lock looking-tOr baggage which
might be lost. 1t isn't Crowds on the
ship seeing friends off and all that. Wav
nG to the wrong people on the pier end
IS the boat draws out and all that.
Whistles blowing. all demanding the deck
steward when they don't want him at
all. a hundred people trying to write let
ers for the pilot to take back at desks
nat accommodate eight and all that sets
Is fairly on our way.
The noble North Atlantic, for fifty miles
,ut from Sandy Hook. needs straininc.
L looks thicker than il does wet. The
surface would lead one to believe that it
would not he A difficult job to build a
,ridge on it or even drive tunnel
through without any particular danger to /
he workmen'S lives unless they succumb-
d to typhoid fever or something like /
hat. They certainly would be taking !
ong chances with their health. as there ,
S no way that l ever heard of to disin- /
eCt an ocean.
l suppose there is plenty of water un-
lerneath or the ship wouldn't splash it
lp on the sides. but you don't see much !
# it. This particular section of the !
main is thiCkly coated with all !
orts of things that are not Indigenous
o pillows. They are mostly familiar .
hinGs. however. and make YOU feel quite
t home on the deep. There are peach
rates, bottles (both prohibition and Ii
ense styles disintegrated watermelons.
loated cats, damaged hats, beer kegs.
efunct dogs, broken chairs. old shoes
"a steboard boxes. melancholy mattresses
nd lot OF things that l couldn't rec
gnize. / didn't want to. either.
One of the passengers got up a game,
n which We bet on what the next article
would be that the ship struck. 1t was
trained nurse who promoted this gam
ling and gathered in 10 cents each from
IS for the pool. I staked my 10 cents
nd the chance Of winning 90 on it being
bunch of hay. The nurse played the
avorite. which was a whisky bottle, as
hey were in the great majority. !.
Nobody won that pool. however. as the
ext object to scrape along the boats
ide was demolished baby carriage. The
urse, who is unmarried-although She