Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1915-11-27

has" volunteered Private Kelley after
supper. No one In the group answer
ed, but the Rookie looked skeptical
-Ye look as though We don't believe
me-" Kelley continued after waiting
for some one TO argue with him, but
bein' well acquainted wit tn ARMY
be years av service, an be readin'
things about II In the newspapers
which nather amy OFFICERS or tn war
department knows ay, l know what
I'm speakin' about. Considher fer in
stince. tn impregnable difinses av
Alaski, manned be four hunder' thirty
wan min and fifteen OFFICERS, and tn
aggragetshun av fightin' min IN Porto
Rico which Is composed av I'VE hunder'
eighty-three men and nineteen orr
GERS. What nhanct would amy ordi-
nary country. like Rooshu or Ger
many, which only has about four mil.
lion TROOPS, have to take thin
places7
It's me opinion some day Congress
viii increase tn army, although It
may not be right away Congress is
not much for hurryin' and there not
bein' amy imeiiate war on hand, con.
gressmen are busy thrying to advance
the prosperity av this great aashun be
glttin' a job for Dan Riley av Four
Corners IN tn furst distric' or maxim
speeches dalin' wild such vital topics
as the necessity av appropriating tin
thousan' dollars to kin musquitos on
the flats av the Potomac below the
city av Washington, tn musquitos be-
In q menace to tn peace an dignity
ay congressman who wants 70 20 to
Mt. Vernon wit constituents from
tn home town who ARE old enough Z
vote and is staunch Democrats, as long
as tn pickin's ARE good an some
member ay tn family is making both
ends meet be disthributin' tn mail.
whin not busy talkin' politics or chew
In tobaccy.
aTo Proceed With compcsure.
Congress viii proceed in tn mat
ter av the ARMY wit its usual COM
posture and some day whin things is
dull and enough pershasuH IL brought
on thin they win increase tn ARMY.
maybe going 70 such warlike extremes
as TO double tn forces In places like
Alaska and Porta Rica, bringin' tn
lighting strengt' up to near thousand
IN each place, and forestallin' amy
attemp' be Europane powers to take
posseshun.
III we was to 60 to war wit amy
nation, we would be able to put in the
field 29.405 troops, which Is the entire
number that can be used for active
duty"
Il always heard this country could
raise q big army Of volunteers at any.
time, though" the Rookie said. They
always have when they needed thin"
"Thrue ye are" said Kelley "But
in tn ould days twas not fist as Il
Is now, be amy means. In thin times
whin our fearless f0refathers had list
come here from England, or Ireland
or some other place, ather because
they was full av tn spirit av advin-
ture or was wanted be tn authorities,
they soon learned how T. use rifle
and spint most OF their time taking |
pot shots at Injuns or huntin' grizzly |
bears, and whin war time come they'd
bein' always entirely occupied be chas-
In somethin' wit their rifles. or get |
tin chased. as the case might be.
In thin days Uncle Sam was
long. lean gint that used rifle bet
ter thin most ay the American citi- |
zens can now use knife and fork |
which I'll admit most av thin ances-
tors did not know annythin' about.
Has Bay Window and Butler.
But now he has got fat and has |
a bay window and butler and whin-
ever he sees small bye wit air
rifle he ducks for cover. II ye'd hand
him gun he wouldn't know whether
ye'd load tn bloomin' thing from tn
front ind or the back. 'Twould be
quite different gettin' an ARMY from
tn byes that owns a business and1
never walks amy further thin the
for thin an has got so tired be sittin'
on stool befure the buuks an thryin'
to figure out whether the boss made
wan or two thousand dollars dhurfn'
tn day, and how they kin live { Sat
urday night wit wan dollar ninety
FIVE cints. that IL they ever got out av
the orfice and in ARMY they would
not be able to dig trinches for more
thin two 15-minute shifts day and If
amy more was required would take
chanel and git shot. hopin' for va.
cashun in the hospital.
They wouldn't be like tn ould sol.
dlors be amy means. and If tn coun-
thry is dipindin' on thin for definse
and don't give thin some thrainin' tn
next time we ever have war II will
take six weeks learnin' for onld byes
who has had tn easy life t. ate beans,
and about the same time TO learn tn
young vans who has been doing tn
orfice work not { kick because they
gifts their boots muddy whin marchin'.
"Whin We talks to congressman
about these things, he imejiately gifts
and followin' tn usual lines
av procedure for congressman whin
he is INTERESTED in annythin', he makes
4 speech.
"'Mr. Speaker he says, we ARE
The most prosperous nashun on earth,
wit vast extint av the 1ch lands av
South America lyin' to tn south av