davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

A newspapers income springs from
three sources. Advertising, subscrip
lions and the owners Of lost dogs.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11
The Villain OutvilIained.

Il wouldn't trust him." she argued.
Neither would l." assented the
other girl; hes as treacherous as
a fountain pen"
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

Buck Kilby says a man of leisure is
one who has time to finish a game of
three-cushion billiards.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Eye Remedy fol- Red, Weak, Watory
Eyes and Granulated Eyelidsi No Smardng-
BY mail Free Murine Eye r. ~'dy Co.. Chicago
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

Better be taken by surprise than by
the police.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

For gals use Hanford's Balsau
Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

Wounds on man or beast should be
healed by Hanford's Balsam. Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

What the average man really should
have is not his rights, but his deserts.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

Conversation attains its most asinine
form in the grandstand at the ball
park.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

A guilty conscience makes hard
pillow.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11
Awkward.

Noah beheld the flood.
And not blessed place to intern"
he cried.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11
Another Woman's Case.

j Providence, R. I.-"I cannot speak
hoo highly OF your Vegetable Compound
as it has done wonders Tor me and
would not be without it. had dis
placement, bearing down, and backache,
until could hardly stand and was thor
oughly run down when took Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. 1t
helped me and / am in the best of health
at present. work in factory all day
long besides doing my Homework so you
can see what it has done for me. give
you permission to publish my name and /
speak of your Vegetable Compound to
many of my friends. Mrs. ABEL LAW
SON, l26 Lippitt St., Providence, RI
Danger Signals to Women
are what one physician called backache,
headache, nervousness, and the blues:
In many cases they are symptoms Of
some female arrangement or an inham-
matory, lucrative condition, which may
be overcome by taking Lydia E. Pink
ham sV egetable Compound. Thousands
of American women willingly testify to
Its virtue.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-06-11

Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to
every suffering woman. Mrs. HARRY
FISHER, 1925 Dounton St., Nicetown, Pa.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
The Censor.


The Washington Star relates that
Mayor Baker of Cleveland In defense
or political movement that had been
attacked, said the other day:
It's al honest movement and q
straightforward movement, and they
who attack 1t are as censorIous as the
Seabright old maid.
"A Seabright old maid was talking
to a sunburned college boy on the
beach. A pretty girl passed and the
old maid said:
There goes Minnie Summers. You
took her to the hop last evening, didn't
your
Yes said the college boy, and he
added politely: AS was taking leave
OF Miss Summers after the hop Il
dawned upon me-"
tt dawnedl' said the OLD maid.
You kept her out TIN dawn That's
what these new dances lead up toi'"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
The War Tax.

Secretary McAdoo's recommenda-
ton that the limitations under which
the war tax measure is to expire De-
cember 81. 1915, be removed and the
act amended so as to provide that
IL shall remain in force until the
end of the conflict in Europe. is par
tcularly significant when considered in
connection with estimates OF appropri-
atoms calling for an expenditure of
$lO9O,775,134. These estimates were
transmitted to congress by the presi-
dent. and II is understood that by his
order they have been subjected to a
pruning process. but they are still SO
large as to show that not much econ
omy Is to be expected at Washington.
Apparently there is little, IL any. dis
position to save money, and yet it is
becoming more and more evident
that with reasonable care in handling
the governments resources II would
be safe TO repeal the emergency tax
measure before the time set for IL to
expire The country properly resent
cd the imposition OF this burden in
time OF peace at home, and its resent
ment will be increased by Mr. Nc
Adoo's most inopportune recommen-
dation.-Rochester Post-Express.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
just a SUGGESTION.

Captious citizens may be inclined
to criticize the treasury commentary
on the new war taxes. or these the
secretary says:
III the emergency revenue act had
not been passed the surplus in the
treasury might have disappeared alto
gether. As long as the expenditures
OF the government exceed its income
there is always danger To maintain
such condition is both unsound and
imprudent"
AS an alternative to the excess OF
expenditures there is always the pos.
sjbility OF retrenchment. The practice
OF private economy has been pain.
fuliy enforced on a large portion OF
the people, and some persons are
likely to suggest that increased taxes
are not the only method OF averting
the danger which Mr.. McAdoo dis
cusses
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
SEES VICTORY IN 1876
Chairman Hilles Predicts Repub-
Iican Return to Power.
Logical Deduction From the Recent
EIeetion-Evii Effects Of the New
Tariff Will Bring Reaction
Against Democracy.

Charles ID. Hilles. chairman OF the
Republican national committee, pre-
diets n sweeping Republican victory
In the national election in 1916 for
president. vice-president, senate and
house. He says 1t is logical deduc-
ton from this years elections. The
issue in 1916. he says. is TO be the
tariff.
Mr.. Hilles in a prepared statement
said: An analysis OF the results OF
the last election shows conclusively
that the Republican party will return
TO power in 1916. Not only will a Re
publican president be elected. unless
there is revulsion of feeling in the
meantime. but the party will gain
control OF both senate and house. II
requires no git of prophecy to assert
this; II is a logical deduction from
the recent election
The issue in 1914 was the tariff
and every state where the effect of
the Underwood bill had time to be
teit went Republican. The disastrous
effects of the new tariff has not yet
been fully felt in the great agricul-
tural states OF the West, but even
there the reaction against Democracy
was unmistakable.
The issue in 1916 will be squarely
on the tariff and on the legislation
or the Democratic party. The revolt
against Democracy is not confined to
business men Labor indicated very
clearly in the last election that il
understood that it's own prosperity is
lnextricably wound up with the pros
perity of business. and that unem-
ployment and reduced wages inevita-
Oily follow Democratic tariff tinker
ing"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
IF HAIR rs TURNING
GRAY, USE SAGE TEA
Don't Look oidi Try Grandmothsr's
Recipe to Darken and Beauty
Gray. Faded, lifeless Hair.

Grandmother kept her hair beauti-
fully darkened. glossy and abundant
with brow OF Sage Tea and Sulphur.
Whenever her hair fell out or took on
that dull. faded or streaked appear
ance. this simple mixture was applied
with wonderful effect BY asking at
any drug store for "Wyeth's Sage and
Sulphur Hair Remedy" you will get q
large bottle OF this old-time recipe,
ready to use. for about so cents. This
simple mixture can be depended upon
to restore natural color and beauty
to the hair and is splendid for dan.
drum, dry. itchy scalp and falling hair.
A well-known druggist says every
body uses Wyeth's Sage and Sulphur.
because 1t darkens 80 naturally and
evenly that nobody can tell It has been
applied-it's so easy to use. too. You
simply dampen n comb or soft brush
and draw 1t through your hair, taking
one strand at time. BY morning
the gray hair disappears; after an
other application or two. II ia re-
stored to It's natural color and looks
glossy. soft and abundant Adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
NOT THE TIME FOR A SMOKE
Old Lady, Filled Up With scar
trldses," Was In Natural Fear
Of an Explosion.

A robust old woman In the noun
tains of north Georgia was iii for the
hrst time in her life and doctor was
sent for. Partly by persuasion and
partly by force. the physician induced
his patient to swallow some big qui-
nine capsules--a simple enough opera
ton. which. however. scared the old
woman almost to death. She was
soon able to sit up and her daughter
thought she would give the conva-
lestent treat. She took her moth
er's corncob pipe from the shelf or
mantel. filled It with tobacco. and
picking up n live coal between two
sticks. started with 1t toward the bed.
Ma" she sud. brightly. jes' look
what Sot for YOU"
Git away from me, Sary," she
screamed in terror. Take away dat
fire! Take hit away Don't yer know
Is done plum filled up wi cartridges?"
Chicago Ledger.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
"CASCARETS' ACT
ON LIVER; BOWELS
No sick headache, biliousness,
bad taste or constipation
by morning.
Get q 10-cent box.

Are you keeping your bowels. liver.
and stomach clean, pure and fresh
with Cascarets. or merely forcing q
passageway every few days with
Salts. Cathartic Pills, Castor Oil or
Purgative Waters?
Stop having a bowel wash-day. Let
Cascarets thoroughly cleanse and reg
ulate the stomach, remove the sour
end fermenting food and foul gases.
take the excess bile from the liver
and carry out OF the system all the
constipated waste matter and poisons
In the bowels.
A Cascaret tonight will make you
feel great by morning. They work
while you sleep-neyer grippe. sicken
or Cause any inconvenience, and cost
only 10 cents n box from your store.
Millions OF men and women take n
Cascaret now and then and never
have Headache, Biliousnesa Coated
Tongue. Indigestion, Sour Stomach or
Constipation. ADV.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
THE ONLY COMPETITION.

Bob" Jones. the eloquent southern
evangelist, was condemning New
York
- The only difference can see be-
tween New York and hades." said Rev.
erend Bob. lis that New York is sur.
rounded by water.
Why, even in your New York Of
hces you don't work. Look mt your
offices---crowds of young men in pink
silk hose, crowds of young women in
low-cut and transparent biouses.
I said in a New York office the
other day:
lis there much competition here?'
"A pretty stenographer, swinging
her foot in and out of her slashed
skirt, laughed and answered merrily:
oh, yes. there's lots OF competi-
tion-between the Office mirror and
the Office clock st. Louis Globe
Democrat
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Responsibility ls wll.on.s

President Wilson's administration
and The Democratic house before him
have been culpably negligent in not
caring for the national defense. He
has had no part in the public awaken
ing. but with the public aroused and
action demanded he refuses co-opera.
ton OF conference.-the congressman
and senators and insists the party in
power handle the matter alone
In making the president exclusively
a party leader Mr.. Wilson has under.
taken departure that viii be watched
With interest not unmixed with IN
easiness.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Why He Noticed L.

Here is another story that can be
pinned to Whistler:
He was dining at a London homo
when titled guest leaned forward to
address him.
Il saw one OF your works In Paris,
MI. James Mcneil Whistler" he said.
Indeed! May l ask what drew your
attention to it,"
Your name, Mr.. Whistler. IL was
the longest one in the list OF artists"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Notice to Subscribers.

Our subscribers will please bear In
mind the railing OF the Postmaster Gen.
erd that il they become in arrears more
than twelve months we will DO required
To pay postage at the rate or one cent for
every four ounces, making one cent post.
age on each paper sent you. II we are
compelled to pay this postage we expect
TO charge 1t to the subscriber; therefore,
see that You do not become in arrears.
LOOK AT THE DATE AFTER
YOUR NAME ON YOUR PAPER.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

Secretary Bryan Us said 70 he plan.
ming 20 resign his Job in order TO be-
gin q campaign TO convert Repub-
'icans TO the Democratic party"
There's just one way in which he can
do it by joining the Republican
party himself Boston Transcript
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Why Minstrelsy Is Dying Out.

Sambo - Mister Interlocutor, can
yoah tell nah whah de standin' armies
sit down when dey's tired?
lnterlocutor-No. Sambo. cannot.
When do they sit down?
Sambo-On de seat oh war. We will
now sing dat beautiful ditty, entitled.
"Nebber Mind de Cotton Crop. eff de
Chicken Crop Am Good"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
DomestIc Ameniti.a

Husband Cat breakfast tablet
for some of the biscuits my mother
used to make
Wife (sweetly)-Tm sorry you have
not got them. dear. They would be
Just about stale enough by this time
to go well with that remark.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Keeping Swell Trade.
nat y fpuiSs
Coffee and rolls, my girl"

WHAT'S yours?"
Coffee and rolls. my girl"
One OF those iron-heavy. quarter
inch thick mugs OF coffee was pushed
over the counter. The fastidious per.
son seemed dazed He looked under
the mug and over IT,
But where is the saucer" he In.
quired.
I'VE don't give no saucers here II
We did some low-brow'd come piiin
In an drink out of his saucer. an we'd
lose lot of our SWEETEST trade"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Ovcrtaxed Vision.

You say you have difficulty in read-
ing?" said the optician.
Yes; l need something restful. All
want is good minifying glass"
"A minifying glass?"
Yes; l want to be able TO hold the
paper on and read the war news head
lines without having to crane my
neck as If ! we're looking at the tall
buildings"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Their Idea of Economy.

The house declined 70 accept a cut
IN mileage allowance from twenty to
five cents. That Is 20 say. these good
Democrats OF ours believe in economy
when II is not personal.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Serious Case,

Wife-You must send me away for
my health at once. am going into
decline
Husband-My! My! What makes
you think so?
Wife-All my dresses are beginning
to feel comfortable
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
A Horrible Possibility

Railroads have already begun to
put up the price OF tickets" said the
apprehensive citizen.
Yes replied the patient person;
but I'm not going to kick. They're
entitled to credit If they don't fix up
a system for standing In with ticket
spectators
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

Reuben Fax-Yonder's a farmer that
raised pumpkin so big that when 1t
was cut in two his twins each used
half for a cradle.
Cityleigh-That's nothing. In our
town we often have three or four full
grown policemen asleep on a single
beat
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Emphatic peslnns-

THERE" exclaimed the enthusiastic
salesman Look in the mirror That
overcoat fits you like the paper ON the
WALL"
Yes replied the small, timid man.
And. by George. believe it has near.
~ the same patterni"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
La Mclean salut. A. -,

Perhaps this firing by Mexicans
across our border is only that long
delayed salute to the flag OF the United
States, finally given in confederation
Of our voluntary withdrawal from
Vera Cruz. Hartford Courant
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
An impossible undertaklnn

snail ] summon your husbands
spirit from the vast deepr"
Wouldn't be no use to try" de-
clared the lady with the massive chin.
My husband never had no spirit"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
A Pretty Detention.

Crawford-So you found a package
OF old love letters you wrote your
wife years ago. What did you do
with them?
Crabshaw-Changed the dates and
sent them to her while she was away
in the countrywide
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Inside crltlcIsm.

80 you are going to be married.
Mary?"
Yes. ma'am, and III be leaving you
next Tuesday"
We'll hope you are getting a
rGod husband"
IF he amt any better than the one
you've got I won't keep him long"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
put 20 the Tes.

His Daughters Beau Yes. I'm a SO
cialist. believe that those who get
the benefit from the labor should be
made to perform the labor
The old Man -Finel You might be
gin by setting no the parlor stove for
the winter.-Town Topics.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
The Following Step.

~ am looking for an opening In
politics"
When you get It. the next thing
you will be looking for is a way to get
out Of the hole"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

Can you support whole family,
young MANI
why. certainly"
Think II over carefully-there are
IL OF us."-Man Iacht (BerlinJ.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Didn't Apply.

Il believe in the motto: Never put
of until tomorrow what you can do
today"
Pay me that five dollars, then"
The rule doesn't apply; that's some
thing | can't do today"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Improvement.

What are your constituents going
to do about sending you back to con
gress7"
Most Of them favor the idea" re-
piled the statesman. They say that 7
have shown a Willingness to work In
Washington that nobody ever sus.
pected in me at home"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Cor snnnort

How is it that Jims is going to
give up working? Is he able to re-
tire?"
NO, but he is going to get mar
rfed
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

"HERE'S a lot of money
here and in this vicinity.
Possessors of thatmoney
read this paper; they swear by
1t. They want to be shown.
II your goods are right. they
want to buy. This paper
talks to that money at regular
intervals. It's money that
talks back and talks back
strong. Get your share-do
your talking through our ad-
vertising columns.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
The Old wsv

Crawford-You can't reason with a
woman.
Crabshaw--I never try. It's much
easier to Jolly her.--Judge
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

TERMS OF INSCRIPTION.
Ono copy, one year, - 900
Ono copy. six months. so
One copy, three months, 30
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Wayne Courts.

Terms Of Circuit Court: Second MosAsy 10
february, May, August and November.
Terms of County Court: First Monday in Jan
sary, April and July, and Third Monday in No
vember.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

OBJ printing of all kinds neatly
q and promptly executed on rea-
sonable terms.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

you told me It was ono O'Clock.
il rust struck three" wife mutters.
hut. dear" he said with aching head
you know that old clock suffers"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Loss Of Appetite.

A man put ON a mOurnful look.
High living made him boiler.
F0r nearly every bite he took
Would cost about "a dollar.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

The most common form OF pes
s!mism is the belief that a good be
ginning makes a bad ending.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL. TELL. Won
Try Murine hye Remedy fol iied, Weak, Water
hyoa and formulated Byollds. No Sua ting
Just kso comfort Write for hook OF the I've
- mali Erse. Murine I'VE fcuody Co Ihtcar,
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
The Ceredo Advance

"A Republican Newspaper that
has large circulation in the Big
sandy and Twelve Pole valleyr.
An excellent advertising medi-
um
Fs6tssAed Eoery Wednesday.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27
Awkward Beginning.

house introduced himself az piano
tuner?"
Yes"
Didn't you suspect that he was a
theft"
NO; but thought II rather strange
that he tried to get into the piano with
crowbar."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-01-27

Deaier-Eas Jones enjoyed his auto
mobile since he got 1t two weeks ago?
Auto Ffend-He should have. He's
run over three men, six dogs and ten
cats
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1915-10-29
ENTENTE POWERS
DENY PEACE TALK
Minister Lloyd George Puts EN-.
phatic Stop To RumorS
OF Negotiations
(Associated Prom br redor,l wirnln,n !

LONDON, October DIN mister OF
Munition Lloyd George put an emphatic
stop to the reports that have reached
Great Britain through neutral sources
that the British are engaged in peace
negotiations. Neither the British nor
any of the allied Powers are either
discussing among themselves or with
any other Power, either bClligerent or
neutral, any questions of peace, said
the minister, in response to a question
on the subject, asked in the house OF
commons. He added that this was not
the time for any talk Of peace nor
would any of the time of the govern
ment be wasted listening to peace sug-
gestiOns from neutrals.
Recruiting here Is on the increase as
the result of King Georges proclama-
ton calling attention to the execution
Of Edith NJ. Cavell, the English nurse
shot by the Germans.
Lord Derby plan of calling the men
to the cOlors by classes has not vet
been tried, Many employers arc re
fusing to promise that they will re.
instate men who leave their employ
to go to the front, the idea being to
assure such men their same positions
when they were returned. An inves,
tigatiOn Of the situation is being made.
Teachers are being urged to enlist.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1915-10-29
ARE KILLED
DURING PANIC At FIRE
Terrible Tragedy Is Enacted At
Catholic ParochiaI School
(Assoetated Pres. b, Federal wtrelessl

NASooSAAbou 1tOoo W AOuoAaA
PEABODY, Massachusetts, October
2S.-In a terrible fire here today at
least twenty children are dead and
scores more injured, many of them
seriously and possibly fatally.
The fire broke out this morning in
the three story building of St John s
Parochial School, Catholic institu-
ton, at a time when 600 boys and
girls, varying in age from seven TO
thirteen years, were assembled at
their lessons.
The Catholic sisters in charge of tho
school started the fire drill march and
attempted TO preserve order, but were
unable to do so and in a few minutes
"a panic took possession of the children.
They jammed the doorways, scores
were tramplod upon, many suffocated,
and many jumped from the windows,
wild with fear.
Meanwhile dozens of mothers Iiv
ing nearby, hearing the tumult, had
hurried to the school and were wit
nesses of the tragedy enacted by the
children.