The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-01-15
FORMER CITIZEN IS
 OUT OF PATIENCE
C. E. Wetmore of Chicago Thinks Ala bama's Motto, Here We Rest,''
 Is Colossal Joke

TO the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 In order to appropriately accentuate and at the same time celebrate the quad- rennial brain storm" in this old and historic and near-great state of Alabama, now being pulled off in the ancient seat Of government" at Montgomery, I, as former Alabamian. respectfully propose that bill be immediately introduced to change the cognomen of the grand old commonwealth from 'the great state of Alabama" to ''the great state of con- fusion.'
 This designation would seem eminent ly proper at most any old time, but it Is particularly fit at this festive season when the "solons" are assembling to gambol on the green and once more ad- vertise themselves as the greatest bunch or idiots on earth! Just as our decrepit commonwealth was beginning to breathe the breath of tranquility the "hayseeds' meet in Montgomery and undertake to de- stroy all chance or possibility for con tinuance of normal conditions
 The beautiful, euphonious and imagin- alive Indian name of Alabama means here we rest" As matter of fact, that is a conspicuous misnomer for this par ticular piece of dirt we inhabit, because there never was time when we were really "at rest; on the contrary, we have always seemingly been at unrest" es- peciaily when 1t comes down to cheap politics. We seem to be hopping about like covey of popcorn on a red-hot stove, and what does it all accomplish except to hurt the state m the matter O. desirable immigration and otherwise l? hof rf f01t TickA thing 1t does, anyway; 1t makes us ma tives' Gone of whom have been which) feel exceedingly proud to admit to the outside world that it Is great stunt to 'come from Alabama with large accent on the from. The present be- nighted conglomerate nooblebatch at Montgomery received their votes with the understanding that they would try to work out some means of restoring the credit of the state, put. as usual, they at once constitute themselves as guardians for the booze fighters, a com mission they were not requested to per- form. How would you, Mister Editor, relish having a collection of '.zoo-ites'' prepare prescriptions for you to live by? It would seem also that after we have successfully emerged from our re- cent 'state of coma that we would all be more than willing to avoid a re- lapse into another condition of uncon- sciousness, particularly as to trade con- citions; but we seem in some manner peculiar to ourselves to have the "habit'' of enjoying these little lethargies. Some bright eye" wrote you a letter the oth- CT day to the effect that blind tigers are much to be preefrred to the open, we'll regulated saloons which pay their big licenses promptly. For myself I could not wiggle out of the maze of his en- tangled argument to understand just what he meant by his lucid" remarks and he did not see fit to publish a libret- to for the enlightenment of the ignorant people. I am still suspended in oblivion. If that little Upright eye' is yet on earth he might give us some additional dope as to his reasoning. It would be a pity if he croaked after delivering himself of his first mind explosion.
 G. B. WETMORE.
 Chicago, H.. January il, 1915.