The review. [volume] (High Point, N.C.) 1908-19??, 1915-01-07


permitted to pass without a kick. But
| I did get some awful kicks at that,
and I would send back some sweet
words in a nice letter and in the Office
have good laugh about it.
Yes, the girls and men who work in
the correspond nce department OF my
concern have almost as much fun over
the letters that you send in and in
the answering of them, as if they were
sitting in a theater hearing the jokes
and funny songs. It's perpetual
comedy for them.
You sit at home, after a hard days
| work, and write, with the greatest
sincerity and often trouble, letter
of complaint to my house. You are
very serious about it. What would
you think, how Inundated you would
feel, if you could see your letter, writ
| ten so carefully by you, passed around
for sneering comments and laughing
jests.
! And one Of my nine-dollar-a-wee
clerks will turn to his stenographer
and say: ''Send this kicker form 13
letter." And the stenographer will
take an imitation form letter, write
your name at the top and stamp the
name of one of the bosses as the sig
nature, and mail it to you. The letter
will read something like this:
| Dear Friend:
We are very sorry to note that you are
| displeased with your last order. We can
not understand how such a mistake has
occurred. We paid particular attention
Shinmant
upon you one of our most valued Gus
| toners.
I will attend personally to your next
| order and see that it is put up in the very
| best manner. We value your letters very
highly and look to hear from you with
| pleasure.
Hoping you are well and wishing you
the compliments of the season, permit
me to sign myself.
Yours most sincerely,
Signed: Name of the Boss.)
Probably the boss is away in Eu-
| rope or somewhere else. You will
note that the letter would apply to
anything, from the receipt Of can of
decayed tomatoes to a broken chair.
It's all "hot air." These letters don't
mean anything. The manner in which
we avoided sending a duplicate of the
same letter to you when you sent in
the next kick, which we looked for
and expected, was in this way. We
kept a big yellow envelope with all
Of your letters and correspondence,
orders, etc., in it. On the front Of
the letter was a memorandum of the
form letters that had been sent you
For instance, when your next kick
was received the correspondent who
would get your letter would look on
the front of the envelope and see that
you had been sent form 10. So he
would reply to this new kick with
form IA, which would read something
like this:
Dear Friend:
I have just looked up your last order
and find that in the absence of Mr.. Blank
(the boss that signed the other with
rubber stamp as proxy, who was I'M
avoidab1y out of the city when your or
der came in, your order was filled by a
new employee. Just how the mistake oc-
Cured we don't know, but I have dis
charged the person who handled the or
der
We want you to feel satisfied that we
are trying to give you our very best Serv-
ice and if you have any further COM
plants to make write direct to me. I
Send in another order, as soon you
can, and I will see that it is taken care
Of.
We are having nice weather here and
hope you are having the same in your 10
cality. Write soon.
Yours faithfully,
Signed: (Another Boss.)
You as an individual have no more
consideration in my concern than a
postage stamp. You are a nonentity, |
you are only a yellow envelope with
series of marks denoting the num-
Der of kicks you have sent in.
But fiattery goes long ways. You
must be fiattered, you must be ca
kinds of promises, but none of them |
will be kept. Your money is what we !
want. But I must try to make you
believe that you are great friend, |
that read your letters personally and |
answer them.
Dear Friend-It's all bunk. For ev-
cry letter sent you, full of fattery and
insincere statements and lies, there
are thousands of others all over the
country who get exactly the same let
ters. I'll guarantee that many of you
who read these confessions by me
have read letter after letter written
by me and to which the name of some
stamp. Or perhaps some little gum
chewing girl signed them with pen
and ink, writing the boss name.