The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-05-20
Tales of the Town

plate.
A contraption has been invented
for running motor cars with hot air
instead of gasoline How nice! We
can furnish our own motive power.
"The only objection | have to the
Twilight league" remarked an old
!, fellow the other day, "is that the
umpires have a hard enough time to
see the plate when the sun is shining"
\ A near-compliment overheard on the
street: Gle amt much for looks, but
he can come nearer finding drink in
dry town than any other man you
ever saw"
Twins arrived at small Margie's
home one day, and when the little miss
was taken in to see them she ex-
claimed; "Pll bet you found them kids
on a bargain counter. or you wouldn't
have bought two"
where's your little brother?" was
asked of a little fellow who had been
playing in a neighbours barn. "He
hurt himself" replied the boy.
"How?" eve were seeing who could
lean out the window the farthest, and
he won"
Farm products cost more than they
used to-" EYES," replied the farmer.
"When the farmer is supposed to
know the botanical name of what he's
raising, an the chronological name
of the insect that eats it, an the phar-
maceutical name of the chemical that
will kill it, somebody's got to pay"
While a travelling man was waiting
for an opportunity to show his sam {
pies to a merchant several years ago
a customer came in and bought a '
couple of night shirts. Afterwards
a long, lank, lumberjack, with his
mackinaw trousers abbreviated be-
tween the ankle. and knee, said TO the S
merchant: "What was them ere that t
teller bot?" might shirts. Can | S
sell you one or two?" "Naup, reck- J
IN not" said the lumberjack. 81 don't c
set around much o. nights" q
4 =
A man died and willed his property v
equally among three friends, an Irish a
nan, a German and a Jew, on condi- v
ion that each one of the three men |;
,lace $1,000 in his coffin. After the +
uneral the three men met to discuss W
heir deceased friends peculiar will T
Well sure put ten 500 bills in his it
ofiin," said the Irishman. "Vell, | C
nut two $500 bills in his coffin" said &C
he German. "Vell, met his terms,
co." said the Jew. Didn't | write in
check for $4,000, place it in his cof- hi
n, and take out $1,000 in change? | m
now my duty, already" d;
An old retired Fifeshire farmer was iii
rom time to time called on and adj he
ised to insure his house against fire ar
Y an agent Familiarity known as Ac
Sandy" The old man, however, met m
he agents advances with INA, Nal"
Flowed by what he doubtless consid- br
ed clinching argument: "My lol
pose is no likely to gang on fire, br
onr The unexpected, however,
,ppened and the neighbors were as 81,
nished to see the old man, instead In
trying to put out the fire, running n
and down the village street shout ",
@: "Whaur's that man Sandy moo? w
haurs that insurance chap? It's ii,
rrible we can never get body when
IRE needin' inn" tb,
Our ability to personify a sea ship Tn
using the pronoun "she," and to wa
ep the Zeppelin in place as "it," ito
ings out one strong point of the
lglish language It is impossible to tbc
so subtle in French, which has no no,
utter, or in German, with its arbi- are
airy scattering of genders Mark =
vain gave us typical instance of do,
cd German: wilhelm, where is the .
rnip?" "She has gone to the kitch- tho
:" "Where is the accomplished and wit
autiful English maiden?" at has {
ne to the opera" Mark went on to no
serve that in Germany a tree is his
lie, its buds female, its leaves neu 7
:; horses are sexless, dogs male, ma
IS female-including tomcats. "By ma
me oversight OF the inventor Oh the len
lguage, woman is female; but
wife (weib) is not" =
q No