El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-05-01

cadets iv tn correspondence Military
School
An thin tn ARMED citizenry.
ye'erself an myself, thrampin' along
in our button shoes armed with squrl
guns, sOOrds lint be tn Knights "
Pythias. bIackjacks, slung shots bean
shooters, brickbats, kOdaks, pokers,
umbrellys, an pathriotic resolutions
At a wurrud firm tn prisidint,
Willum Jennings Bryan sounds on
harp tn signal to charge an tn.
great host filings itsilf again tn
inimy and dhrives it into tn sea or
naturalizes it; an Sicrity Danls
swims out an sinks tn Jap'nese flag
ship be bitin' il just abaft tn engine
room Thin We all return. restore
our arms to tn kitchen or tn hat
rack in tn hall an live ever afther
on a pinsion. 'Tis a GRAND idee.
4 don know what to make " II,
Ye mustn't think, though. that were
dOin' nawthin' to get ready. No. SIR,
we ARE pro-ceedin' in a thurly scien-
tific way to stand off tn invader. In
the first place We pick out thrained
body " experts to tell us exactly what
to do. They wurruk on II all year
an at tn end " tn year they appear
before a comfy iv congress. TIL
ladin' m'mber iv tn comfy is con-
gresham Alpha Woolhat, tn military
expert iv tn Ozark Clarion-Chronicle.
I've been readin' a report " tn eX-
animation.
The Chairman-'Admiral. We say
that we ought to have twinty more
battleships with fourteen inch guns
in tn forward turrets?'
Congressman Woolhat-'Wait a
minyit This is a subjick that I've
give great study to, an no man in
tn United States navy, SpOngln his
Twin off tn sweat iv tn brow " tn
toiIin' masses, can tell me what we
VI s~ ~frsnH
he's tal6in' about II war was de-
clared there ARE a millyOn brave fell
lows in tn mountains iv me native
state who would raise up, march to
tn county seat. an desthroy tn in
Yader. But suppose tn worst that cud
happen. happened. Suppose they de-
sthroyed Wash'nton. New York, Chi
cago an tn other homes iv tn PAM
pered plutycrats- What difference
wad it make to tn rest " tn cOun-
thry2 TIL entire population iv tn
United States cud retire to tn gin'rous
hills. tn rude but hospital shingled
cabins Nv tn mos gloryous state that
tn sun iv hiven shines down upon. an
there amongst a population composed
entirely iv brave men an fair women,
each ownin' a dog iv their own, cud
defy tn inimy-
Il am sure that no foreigner how
ever bold wud want to go to my dis
thrict Gintlemin.,' he says, no wan
is better qualified TO speak on naval
matthers thin I am I have had more
practice thin all, tn admirals in tn
navy
An tell ye. all we need fr tn de-
finse Nv this country is a few good
lively tugs. like what I saw whin
whit TO Saint LOoey las winter, to go
out to sea an give warnin' TO tn
east whin It is time fr thin to lave
tn resorts " crime where they live
an duck out fr tn GLORIOUS south
west he says I wish to examine tn
admiral on a few technical p'ints
which some iv this comfy may not
understand an want him TO an
swer thin now. Admiral. We have
been talkin' iv this an that an wan
thing or another an thrajectOries an
so fOorth. an among other things ye
mintioned turrets- Did We or did ye
not2
"Th' Admiral did. sir
Congressman WOOlhat-'That is a
pint that I'd like We to make more
clear Admiral. what is a turretg
An so, Hinnissy, we needn't bother
about it, The country is safe in tn
hands Nv these iminent statesmen"
Don't ye think We are prepared RI
tn worst2" asked Mr. Hennessy.
'Ye bet we are" said Mr.. DOoley.
That's just what we're prepared fr."