The Detroit times., 1915-11-04
The Newspaper
~ On. FRANK CRANE
) (Copyright 1915. By Frank Cransl


(Copyright ISis. By Frank Crans)
What . creation 10 . newspaper A
marvellous - civilization, a. compiler -
humanity, - deep - science, - shAR
low a. society. - sordid q business. q
base a. crime, a pure ~ piety; . great
teeming ant-hill Of myriad activities, :
dusty arena Of confused wrestlinss,
writings, squirminga. twistings, crawl
ings, crowdings, Itpringinss, In the greet
gladiatorial struggle Of man against man,
class against class, idea against idea. b.
lief against belief. as
Here thoughts scream, visions blaSon,
testers hes-haw and caclle, lovers groan,
the disillusioned sheer, the fat-hea6s ex-
ude platitudes, the fat-paunched smile,
the drugged screech and gibber; its =
huge boiling-pot from whence ariSe the
stinks Of police courts sluns, murders,
incests, afsons, mayhems, thefts rob-
berries. assaults. breakings. sluggings,
adulteries, all manner Of unnatural vices,
of beast-men, brute-women: all classified,
artistically arranged, dressed in rags Of
literature, for our delectation at the
breakfast table.
Here are wars, wholesale slaughterin9s
by men with flags, butchery by shrapnel.
bayonet, chlorine gas, bullets; men gut
ted in trenches like crowded pigs In
SHAMELESS, men spitted by spikes. blinded
by fire, blown to atoms by powder; al
over nothing at all, over mystical na-
tional issues none of them understood. al
to keep up the twice damned and thrice
accursed military caste: read OF It: here,
L. Ia htvSa IA
death by battalions; Mars and Moloch
iancing in glee over the dehuman wave
of red insanity overwhelming Europe.
Read, read, Of weather, probable rain.
of crops. wheat. corn prospects, specula-
ton as to cotton. Of county-seat Nights
of clever swindlers of sick juror, OF
gem robbers, of prohibition laws violat-
ed, Of q newspaper sold out, OF . cam
paiyn to recruit soldiers. OF suffragettss
and their strivings, Of one brother slay-
ing another with q brass cuspidor. Of
Mexican bandits breaking into Texas, u
some pastor breaking into print, Of am
bassadors' doings, of the embroglios OF
cabinet officers, of the President OF the
United States taking q walk. OF what he
might have said. or could, would, ought.
or should have said: Of British cabinet
crises, prime ministers pronunciamentos.
generals sententious hints. emperors
and kings ponderous bromides; OF what
this famous actress thinks and OF what
that millionaire says about things they
know not the slightest thing about.
Here you fnd news Of baseball, and
read Of amazing two-baggers, horrihe
errors and lurid runs, and Of fans ~
ceivinQ the information with red faces,
fifty thousand people yelling themselves
hoarse over q ball; and Of golf. with
strange jargon, of stars and champions;
of tennis. football, horse-racing; Of auto
mobiles and accidents.
OF churches, synods. conferences. re-
vivals; of the movies, OF new players
new fiim-trusts, new houses; Of theatres,
gossip of actors, hints, predictions, criti-
cism, sly advertising; OF music, arr,
cooking, beauty secrets, health notes,
fancy work. styles; corsets; OF deaths,
births. marriages; Of high society ana
its movements: of politics and its prog
nostications, rumors, fights and pacts
of grand opera, concerts, symphonies,
recitals.
OF shipping, of real estate. OF finance.
stocks and bonds, of all sorts OF man.
ciers. from the solid Morgan to the gray
wolf type. of all conceivable swindlings,
little and big.
And all about and through and be-
tween. the advertiser, the man that sup
ports all this world of publicity upon his
Atlantean shoulders. catching your eye.
II by any chance he may with heavy
tyne and pictures and antics and pos
lures lure you to his shop, to buy shoes,
hats, rugs. carpets, furniture. diamonds.
glass. clothing patent medicines dry
goods, food, drink. tobacco. whisky.
Chewing gum, hair dye. tooth paste,
Masters. corn-cures, face powders,
And the want-ad pages, that vast sea
Of trading, seeking, hiring. renting, sell
inc. bargaining humanity, thicker than
at market fair.
This Is mankind's mirror. You are 2
mart of this. You never realize how
amazing is man until you read the news
After all. there are just four things
IN the Newspaper: Crime, Sport, Money
and Woman.
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