El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-05-29

"a TO; no MORE railroading in
M mine" said the talker. as he
tilted his chair back and ele-
waited his heels on the desk There
are some things in this world I'm not
adapted for. That's one
You see. I once applied to division
superintendent for a job, and was as
sured my application would be cOnsid-
cred the very first vacancy that &C.
Cured
with a note requesting me to call at the
superfntendent's office. OF course
compiled with the request, and they told
me they wanted me to act as assistant
agent for a day or two at a place called
Beaufort, or something like that
This train don't stop at Beaufort,
young fellow, said the conductor, as ne
pocketed my pass and proceeded calmly
on his rounds. informed a brakeman
OF my predicament and he very kindly
volunteered to ask FATTY DUR to slow
down a little at Beaufort and let me
off I presume he did so, yet II there
was any reduction in the speed Of the
train il was too slight for my unprac-
tfced eye TO detect did not light
right away, but with / did land the
conclusion was something awful, ana
as I rolled over and over 1t seemed 10
me I must have gathered up about all
the splinters there were in the platform
in different portions OF my anatomy
1T was a rickety old station
picked my way to the offiee, ana pre-
sented my CREDENTIALS to the agent a
tall. Iank man with a long neck, care
worn features and a stiff hat that
looked out OF place in the midst OF such
rural surroundings
I'm sick and tired Of this business,
he said. The works enough TO Kill
mule, but its the injustice and lack OF
appreciation that makes me not on
can't pick up a paper without seeing
a lot OF rot about the herolsm or loco
motive engineers and the terrible re-
sponsibility that makes train dispatch
ers hump shouldered before their time,
but never q single. solitary word about
station agents. Why. TO read the pa
pers. a person would think the engineer
went through life with his eye glued 10
the rail and a death grip on the re-
versfns- lever. and that the train dis
patcher had to put in all his spare time
sonufng his head with hair vigor to
keep from turning gray in a single
night But look Al the facts
ANY track walker can tell you that
an engineer is asleep more than halI
his time when out on the line, and the
only way to call his attention IS 70
heave a rock through the cab window
while as for the train dispatcher, we
all know what he is-a pretty tyranr
with an eight hour trick whose most
arduous duties consist in rawhiding US
DOOR Wretches out on the line bull-doz-
ing US into sending him regular trlD-
ute Of fruit. fresh eggs and butter
HerOfsml Responsibility! Well If II
amt enough to give a person dis
taste for strong drink And he dis
appeared in the direction Of a saloon
about half a mile down the road
When he returned ne gave me an
idea of ny duties as assistant agent
You're familiar with the interstate
tariffs and the transcOnunental classl-
fiCatiOn, ] suppose. ne said
I was obliged to confess my ignor-
ance-
That's bad" he replied You'd bet
ter sit right down and famiiariZe your
self with them. You'll find EN- all
in those files. Besides the tariffs
there's 724 supplements and 1,644
amendments, in addition to 2,2S6 cir
culars that YOU should post up on Then
there's the special commodity rates and
modified rulings as applied to the diff
ferent tariffs and the new rulings
there's 4S9 of 'em-that devote a little
time TO the local classification was is
sued After you get all those down pat,
it would be well to devote little time
to the local classification and tariffs
learn the terminal points and get the
routing Instructions committed to mem
DRY. Hello. there's that freight coming
at last Tell EN- there's nothing for