Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-04-24

By Earl Goodwin.

going home in the farm wagon she said
to her father:
Dad. that fellow with the horn was
grand. but do you really think he was
swallowing it all that time?"
4 X K !
One of the enthusiastic scientists of
! the National Academy of Science who
got all worked up because of the fact
that the north pole had worked around
trfe so that in thirteen billion years
1t would have inclined one-tenth of
billionth of something or other, de-
clared that there were half a million
nebulae in the universe, which puts
me In mind of the number OF fire and
police badges that spring into promi-
| nence any time fire alarm rings
At the Adams fire this week there
seemed to be more young men with fire
badges on than firemen. These badges
are issued by the police or fire depart
ment for the express purpose Of per-
hitting newspaper men to go inside the
fire lines and do their work, which is
sometimes hot and arduous at big
blaze.
At the Adams fire every one In sight
had on a fire badge. Firemen and police
wrong, but they could not stop to in
vestigate on the spot with fire raging.
A lanky youth stepped inside the fire
lines and mingled with two or three hon
the spot The lanky one had on fire
badge that looked as big as a pie plate
and he wore 1t with the air Of new
actor DOMINIC a new suit to play hero
part for the first time.
But he overdid 1t. Fire Marshal Mich
olson caught sight of the badge and
grabbed the lad by the coat tail.
Give me that badge" he said
The youth obeyed. Fire Marshal
Nicholson unpinned the shining trinket
and said:
You beat It."
The lanky one disappeared in the
crowd. and the badge will be traced to
the original source.
Diary Of new automobile:
Monday-Owner has several friends
without the slightest claim to gentility.
Several of them stop him on the street
with this query: Where did you get
that car? Was 1t a present to you?"
Maj. c. Fred Cook announces to a
large gathering: Il told that fellow
to buy a four cylinder Flivver. and
look what he did. 1 took a look at
tho rear axle Of this car, and it looks
like a hairpin"
Owner suggests that Maj. Cook, being
an authority on hairpins, ought to
know what he is talking about.
without lights: owner gets out to tele-
phone from a drug store. When he
gets back to me he finds me surround
ed by Judge siddons. Commissioner
Brownlow, William Hart and a Gordon
| Of police.
"Oflcer. do your duty says Com
| missioner Brownlow.
Owner, after blushing and declaring
the lights must have Jolted loose. gets
in and drives away. Later, owner
hears that police officer asks William
Hart, In awed whisper:
who's that guy that calls them
jud ges and Commissioners by their
William Hart replies: Don't let it
out but that's Secretary Wilson Of
the Department of Labor. He's got
more cars than any man in the gov
eminent"
Wednesday-Owner has a chauffeur.
but I am told he is rally q German
noblenlan here on a mission Of desperate
diplomatic urgency.
Thursday-The nobleman Is real
aristocrat. He has oiled me properly
for the first time since I left the works.
learned today that the nobleman is
really q mechanic and has no title.
There is mystery involved here some
where.
Friday-Owner notices that the girl
who works in the Office across the way
IL making violent efforts to become 40
quainted on tho strength of my feeble
looks. Owner tried eight times to start
in my starting apparatus in his anxiety
to achieve the impossible.
Saturday-Was taken to the Union
station in q hurry to meet Mortimer
Easton of Arcola, N. J. While stand
ing outside, some unregenerate son OF
a thief came along and stole the Key
out Of my starting apparatus. Owner
had no business to leave 1t there. He
came out and spent fifteen USELESS min.
utes endeavoring to start mo In my
keyless condition Such words never
did hear. Finally a barber suggested
that Mr. Thomas of the Union station
dining room had a car like me. Own
or dug up Mr.. Thomas. who cheerfully
loaned me the key to his oar, one Of
my brothers. Three cheers for Thomasi