Evening star., 1915-01-07
UNCLE SAM D|SAPPROvES
OF WINTER FLANNELS"
Through Surgeon Banks of Public
Health Service He Urges Their
Use Be Discontinued.
Other Legacies Of "Our Colonial An
cestors" Severely Scored in
Bulletin Just Issued.

Bulletin Just Issued.
| The average persons idea of a gov
ernment document or departmental
bulletin is something dark and gloomy.
like a dull day. The subjects range
from such uninspiring themes as the
mineral resources of Pike county to
archaeological essay of gaseous and
verbose character. One would scarcely
believe that high brows in the gov
ernment service would descend-that is.
arise-to high comedy. And yet what
is this monograph on winter f1annels''
which comes through the mails? 1t
is no less than a government warning
that winter fiannels are dangerous, and
that if the proper course were pur-
sued there would be no use in the oft
heard expression, Have you changed
yours for lighter ones yet?"
This Uncle Sam of ours is a wonder
fully beneficent old chap. He looks
after our roads, our letters, our coasts
and furnishes US with never failing
| vaudeville in political way. He edu-
Gates some of US and let's US pull his
leg. but the memory of man runneth
not back to the time when dear old
Uncle Sam opened our collar tabs to
see whether we had on the right sort
of underclothes. But now. through the
IUnited States public health service, he
tells US that changing winter fiannels
to suit the changes of weather is a
relic of the ages when pie was used
| for breakfast, and "hominy and hog
fat" was standard article of diet.
| The burden of Uncle Sans warning
| is that you should wear the same
weight Of fiannels all the time. If you
like the long all-wool ones. wear 'em
| all the year round: and If you adopt
| the shorter and more athletic sort,
| stick to 'em, no matter if the mercury
| freezes in the bulb.
Legacy From Ancestors.
Uncle Sam speaks through the lips
of Surgeon Banks and a well worded
man he is. Listen:
Our colonial ancestors left us as a
! part of their domestic legacy many
| habits and some customs that have
been cherished with filial piety for
many generations. and We have come
| to regard them as part of the un-
| written laws of our existence. Among
! them might be mentioned some of the
| pernicious products of the kitchen,
such as the hot 'riZ' biscuit, washed
| down with ice water and the hominy,
| foated in hogs grease; while in the
| lesser atrocities may be clasSed pie for
| breakfast, fried meats and the con-
| coction known in the restaurants as
| stew and dump.
! Surgeon Banks directs attention to
the fact that many persons can't stand
| so degrees of heat in summer in the
house, and yet they plug up their doors
| and windows in winter time and shiver
| like hairless dogs unless the furnace
| blows an 80-degree blast through the
pipes. And, just to show that he is an
artist in the word line, Surgeon Banks
| tosses off d few hot remarks about the
feather beds of a long-dead day and
calls those monstrosities "leviathians
OF our sleep(0 and says that even
now they may be found "in many of
| the remoter districts. swallowing their
victims in their amoeboid grasp" Per-
sons who have slert in feather beds are
! thus assured that any i'll effects have
come from the amoeboid grasp. This
| is evidently recent discovery.
Not Cheating the Doctor.
| But to return to our hannels:
| Even SO we have become the lega-
tees of our grandsires in that iso-
thermic obsession concerning fan
nels,' meaning underclothing in gen
eral, by which we delude ourselves
| that We are cheating the doctor and
| the undertaken. AS a matter of COM
| fort, cleanliness, convenience and
cover we have come to wear in our
clNlllZeu lie Il SUI OF clOthlnS under
| our street apparel, and it is to this
underclothing that We turn our atten-
tion in this brief essay in protest.
Deslsned chiefly as an inner gar
ment to hold the moisture and exfo-
l1atlons of the skin, and of a texture
suitable for constant laundering to in
sure cleanliness, it has become the
chief vehicle for many mems hygienic
haliuclnations. The large and increas-
ing class who carry in their wardrobes
| Of
ciothlng. alternating from the imper-
Vlously thick to the gauZily thin fan
nels IS source of wonder to that
!: other class who wonder what it is all
about IL cannot be said that it is the
ielsure-sated individuals who affect
tnese varying degrees of light me-
d'um ana heavy undercIothng, and
are prepared to confront any range of
weather on the sliding scale basis, but
the average man is so surfeited with
II this 'hannei fetch that he is a reeu-
lariy consistent devotee of its false
and fraudulent Worship"
| Then follows picture of a man
looking out the window to see the
| weatner SO he can match his ftanneIs
to the outer air. The idea is-t that he
l nelS in his wardrobe and snends mort
of his time changing from one to the
other. HIS motto is The colder the dav
the thlcker the merino." All wronp
Clarence. all wrong. Take if frnn,
Uncle Sam. who says, through Surpeon
Banks: 0' seoii
This astute philosopher who spends
his days In fooling' the weather 10
simply fooling himself. Instead of at
tanning his end. the end attains him Nv
any one of dozen processes desipned
for the purpose of putting a nerind to
outraged nature. Instead of dressino q
for indoors with his undergarments he
mas been dressing for outdoor tenn
peratures and left himself victim Of
his obsession when he comes again
into the summer warmth of his house.
Those who do not do this and va
the same weight of underclothine the
year round are simply allowing the
skin to attend to it's normal functions c
unhampered.. They escape the penaIs
ties which nature metes out to those
who violate her laws. not because they
are naturally strong, but because the
protective envelope of the body is per.
mitted to perform its important duties
of regulating the body heat and the
! eXhalations of the system. The lopica !
dressing should be for indoors in Win
ter, and when the cold. inclement sea
III to ks{@