The Lynden tribune. [volume] (Lynden, Wash.) 1908-current, 1915-07-08

lamity, and a bright thought came to
her.
You took pair Of trousers to the
tailor the other evening to be pressed"
she said as she rose up.
Yes; and has he sent them homer
They came up this afternoon and
are In that bundle over there. l won
der II there are any buttons missing"
The package was united, and Mr..
Bowser held them up to view. he
had taken them to the tailor to have
the creases renewed. and the tailor
seemed to have made an excellent job
of it. Mr. Bowser was about to lay
them aside with a nod Of satisfaction
when he gave a sudden start of sur
prise, and the smile his face had worn
during the last half hour was replaced
by a look Of sternness.
"What is it," she asked.
He took one leg Of the trousers and
stretched 1t out at arms length and
sQninted along the crease like man
looking along the edge Of a board.
You took this package in:" he asked
as be finished squirting along the leg.
Yes"
And you knew they were my trou-
sersy
"Of course. What Is wrong with
themy"
What Is wrong with them!" he re
peated as his neck began to grow red
iii you were the sort Of a wife You
ought to be you'd know what was
wrong with them. You'd have known
it hours ago and brought that tailor to
book instead Of assisting him in his
chicanery."
But what IL it,"
Cant your own eyes tell you? Look
along these creases. Do you follow Il
straight line or do they wabble and
crouk.'
They seem to be straight" replied
Mrs. Bowser after squirting.
But they are not. and 1 believe you
have known 1t for hours. See there.
These creases are at least three inches
out Of true at the bottom. And what
will be the effect when put the trou-
sers on? will look like bow legged
man. of course. and. Of course. that
was the plot. BY thunder, woman. but
things have come to pretty pass.
"Mr. BOwser. how silly you are.''
"Ah. yes; oh, yes. Because | don't
want to look like a man straddle Of
barrel am silly. How much did you
have to pay the tailor to carry out this
conspiracy with you? And when you
had made me the laughing stock Of the
neighborhood what other scheme did
you have to work? 1t would have been
sweet music to your ears to hear the
boys shouting. Old bow legged Bow
serr after me on the street"
Il wish you'd be reasonable" said
Mrs. BOwser as she tossed the trousers
on the lounge. lone minute you praise
me and everything is all right. and the
next
Never" he interrupted as be kicked
at the cat. Il have never praised you
and don't mean to. There will be no
theater and no card parties. A wife
who'll conspire against her husband
ought to be sent to state prison. take
my trousers to tailor to be creased.
You sneak down after me and bride
him to squeeze the creases 80 that l
will be an object of ridicule. Why
don't you poison my coffee? Why don't
you murder me in my sleep?"
She passed him and went upstairs,
and the cat held its breath and realized
that crisis was at hand. Mr.. Bowser
glared about him for moment as he
made ready 10 break loose. and then.
with yell. he seized the offending
trousers. and with a mighty wrench he
tore the back seam up and held leg
In either hand. There was nothing
alive In the room except the cat. He
jumped for her with leg swinging
above his head. and Mrs. BOwser heard
a meow. a crash and a fall. He had
struck a chair and fallen over 1t and
plowed along the carpet with his nose.
while the cat had escaped. An appal-
ling silence followed. and she heard a
voice hoarsely whispering:
Il don't wonder that husbands are
driven to drink. l only wonder that
they don't become murderers as well
as drunkards."