Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1915-05-07
firing Of Too Kind Husbands

flsms her lord and master out of bunch
OF the long green she experiences all Of
the thrills Of artistic burglary success
fully pulled off"
Did you ever notice how a married
wantsy'
''She doesn't demand II as a right OF
ask it as favor. She acquires Il by
subterfuge, Say she has set her heart
or new dress, She goes and picks IL
out. The next morning at breakfast she
steers the conversation around to the sub
jsct of clothes. Hubby. being wise, says
nothing. At dinner hubby perceives that
all his favorite dishes are set before him.
Wife observes in a casual tone of voice
that Mrs. So-and-so has new dress.
business Of profound thinking on hubby's
part.
wife remarks what a good, noble. gen
erous man. and what an ideal husband
Mrs. So-and-so has. stiii nothing doing
from hubby After dinner, in the living
room. wife tearfully oplnes- that she's
afraid husbands business must be bad.
and II It lie OF course she doesn't want to
even think about a new dress. Husband
81 ana NiAt WIPES u lew IuTNiNE tt9Eh
away. Hubby suggests. apparently OF his
own volition, that wife needs a new suit
and wife falls upon his neck in triumph.
Now do YOU suppose that woman
would have missed all OF that scene for
any money! DO you think she would
have enjoyed having that dress hurled at
her the minute she suggested she wanted
Il? Not on your life. She feels that she
has been a regular Taileyrand TO ham,
boozle a husband into giving It to her,
and every time she wears II she throws
bouquets at herself TO think how clever
and diplomatic and deep she is"
Women are queer fish," observed the
Bookeeeper.
WELL" said the Stenoerapher, there's
one thing you don't want to forget: Mar
ried life for the majority Of women is
dead level OF monotony. in which they de-
pend on their husbands TO furnish the
tabasco of existence. That's the reason
that the too easy man is not hot ia
vorite with women. There Is no sport,
even IL there il profit, in selling gold
bricks to blind farmers"
II should have thought that that west
ern man would have won out on one
count. anyway" remarked the Book
keeper. ''the no argument proposition
Anybody makes a hit with me who
doesn't contradict my statements or take
issue with my opinions"
Women are built on a different plan -
said the Stenographer. "A woman pines
and yoarns Ia be contradicted, because
that is the only way she has OF finding
out what she really thinks. A married
woman never knows what she wants
until her husband tells her she can't
have it, and so. II he always agrees with
her. the poor creature is, completely at
sea. II takes opposition 20 crystalline
her opinions. and the husband who re-
fuses to give this first aid to the unds
eided 10 a mean old thing.
And there's another objection 10 thu
too agreeable husband"
What's that?" asked the Bookkeeper.
1t takes away Womans excuse for
not doing the things she doesn't want ID
do. 1 would so love 10 give to your
noble cause, but my husband won't lie,
me- says the woman squeeze. 'Afy hear
is with you. and would Join your Society
for the Preservation OF Superannuated
Cats. but my husband has such a pre-
JUDGE against cats says the woman
welcher. I'm dying 10 have YOU visit
me, but my husband is % nervous he
can't stand company says the woman
who wants to avoid an unwelcome
guest. and 80 II goes
The chief advantage OF having a hus
band is that he u s'ieh a good scape-
goat. and no sensible woman wants TO b
married to a man 30 aniable she cant
even hay things on him"
Have women no ideal of a huah., a -
demanded the Bookkeeper
"On. yes, replied the stsnograpbe.
lit" -
"RiFht-o"' agreed the Rookkeeper