davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1915-01-27
Smile Provokers

Husband You spend altogether
too much money.
Wife-Not at all. The trouble Is
you don't make enough.-Ex.
The magistrate ito Mrs. O'Scrap).
Don't you think you and your hus-
hand could live together without
fighting?
Mrs. O'Scrap-No, yer 'anner;
that is not 'appiIy.-London Sketch.
"My papa is mounted police
man, said small Eric to visitor"
Is that better than being walk.
ing policeman, asked the visitor.
Course it is, replied Eric. If
there is trouble he can get away
quicker. "-Ex.
'My husband, remarked a Phila-
delphia matron to a group of
friends, was a confirmed smoker
with a tobacco heart when l mar
ried him year ago. but to-day he
never uses the weed. :"
Good, said one of the group.
10 break off a lifetime habit re-
quires a strong will.
Well, that's what I've got, said
the wife"
TIE senator and the major were
walking up the avenue. The senator
was more than middle aged and
considerably more than fat, and,
dearly as The major loved him, be
also loved his joke.
The senat II turned with pleased
expression on his benign counte-
nance and SAID: Major, did you
see that pretty girl smile at me?"
"Oh, that's nothing, replied his
friend. The first time I saw you
laughed out loud. ."-Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
A teacher, instrucling her class
in the composition of sentences,
wrote two on the blackboard, one a
misstatement of fact and the other
wrong dramatically. The sentences
were: The hen has three legs" and
WHO done it?:''
Harry, she said to one Of the
youngsters. go to the blackboard
and show where the fauls lies in
those two sentences.
Harry slowly approached the
board, evidently studg.ng hard.
Then he took the cragon and wrote:
The hen never done it. God
done t."-Milwaukee Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1915-01-27

Entered as second class matter at
the postoffice at Edgefeld, S. c.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1915-01-27

Husband You spend altogether
too much money.
Wife-Not at all. The trouble is
you don't make enough.-Ex.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1915-01-27

The magistrate ito Mrs. O'Scrap).
Don't you think you and your hus-
hand could live together without
fighting?
Mrs. o'Scrap-No, yer 'anner;
that is not 'appiIy.-London Sketch.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
EAST JORDAN. MICHIGAN SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 6, 1915.
LIGHT in THE HORIZON

The United States is slowly but sure.
ly emerging from period of keen
financial stringency and commercial
unrest.
1t has been felt by all classes OF
people, in every strata of society.
But light at last is showing in the
distance, and relief is in sight.
But it will require yet little more
patience on the part of the people, and
a united effort and determination wrest
prosperity from chaos.
Those who expect to see an instant
transformation from stringency to
boundless wealth will of course meet
with disappointment.
But commercial aud financial experts
are all agreed that the next six months
will see the United States in the
midst of an era of unprecedented pros
perity.
In the meantime let us be patient
and work.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
THE STORY OE JANE

Jane was a good 5irl, but she had
been an only child and it had made a
difference to the bad.
Then, too, James mother had the
foolish idea that it was fine to slave in
the kitchen, washing dishes and peel
ing potatoes, while Jane, dolled up, sat
In the front room and read trashy nov
els or thumped rag-time on the piano.
Then when Jane grew older and had
to be educated" of course nothing
would do but polishing school where
they teach you most everything except
the things that are really important.
So, after all, it was not JaLe's fault
that when she had arrived at woman
hood and was ripe for a home of her
own she didn't have a single qualifica-
ton for rnnning one and was as help
less, almost, as doll.
Besides, she had never been taught
to save. She was an extravaganza that
no ordinary man could afford. She,
therefore, had either to marry money,
become an "old maid" or take desper-
ate chances of breaking a poor mans
pocket book and heart
What really happened was that Jane
met the right man and came down from
her high horse. She learned to cook,
to plan and to save-after marriage, at
great expense.
But wouldn't you think common
sense scheme of education would have
made sure of these vital things earlier?
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
HOUSEHOLD HINTS

When beating the white of egg for
sponge cake, when it becomes dry and
light, test it's stiffness by turning the
dish containing it upside down. If it is
beaten to the proper point not a par
ticle will become detached.
In ironing the plait of the back of a
shirt waist on which tiny buttons are
sewed, try laying it on flannel or
heavy towel, as you do your embroidery
The buttons sink in as the material is
ironed
If the spoon used in serving oatmeal
or other cereal is dipped into the cream
pitcher before being used the cereal
will slip off the spoon very easily.
When your carpets have become too
worn for use, cut them up as founda-
tions for new rugs. Take two yards of
dark green monks cloth, which is fifty
three inches wide, and lay itsmmothly
down over the carpet, or whip raw
edges carefully before fastening the
monks cloth to it.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
WAR LOOMS AHEAD OF US

II is a fact!
Grim war confronts us.
And the staging is set for the gentle
springtime, when the daisies bloom and
the silver throated birds break forth in
song
And it will be battle royal.
The American Fashion League has
decreed that the shirtwaist must 90.
1t is to be thing Of the past, must be
seen no more.
AT least such is the dictum of the
Fashion League.
But American womanhood is up in
arms and is girding for the fray.
Womanhood says NO!
The shirtwaist is dear to the feminine
heart-and that which appeals to the
feminine heart is right-must be right
we men declare it to be right, and it
must prevail.
Down with the League!
Into the discard with the czars of
fashion!
Perish the brain which would abolish
the shirtwaistl
For the shirtwaist is useful-it is
simple-it is genteel-it is easily wash
GLAND 1T is COOL.
1t must not fall at the hands of a
ruthless horde of brainless czars of
fashion whose gods are gold and a
mirror.
The enemy must be routed-put to
flight-exterminated.
And we herewith enlist under the
banner of womanhood and offer our
self willing sacrifice that the shirt
waist may be saved.
And we call upon all men to come
forward and smite the enemy of wo-
manhood.
Beauty is in distress-and beauty
must be saved.
Long live glorious woman!
And long liye the shirtwaist.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
The Postmaster
Should Worry.

Every time we hear anyone "raking''
the postmaster we always feel sorry
that the public cannot come to reali-
Zation of his thousand and one worries.
And he's "raked" more or less every
day.
The general delivery" window, we
imagine, is the nightmare of every
postmaster. One who has never taken
the trouble to give the matter little
thought may think it strange to be told
there'is no mail for them, when the
postmaster or clerk "does not look to
see." The probabilities are that he, or
she, has looked through that box fifty
times since the last mail came in. Par
ents unthoughtedly permit their chill
dren to call for mail, and when this is
done, the children abuse the privilege.
Take family with three or four chill
dren in school. Many times each one
of them will call for their mail at the
general delivery window-and not half
an hour apart. In such cases the per-
son waiting on that window well knows
there is no mail for the family in ques-
ton and he, or she, is not going to look
through the mail in such cases. Often,
too, children lose mail. They should
not be sent for it when il is possible to
get il in any other way.
Older persons, too, sometimes insinu.
ate the postmaster or clerk is discourte.
Gus, even limiting that they think they
have ms p1r at least cannot understand
why il isAt2 there for them. Nothing
could be more ridiculous. Mail accumu-
lates fast, and we feel sure the post
master and employees are glad to see il
leave the postoffice as quickly as posi-
BILE after receipt.
We don't think we should care to be
"p0rmaster"
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
ROAD BUILDING FIGURES
Over Two Million Dollars Has
Been Used in Western
Michigan.

The figures that tell the story of Roac
BtVe eing in Western Michigan are
almost startling. Since 1905, when the
state highway department was organic
ed, over 700 miles of public highway
has been improved; over two million
dollars has been expended for "better
roads" and nearly half million dol.
lars has been received by the twenty
counties as state reward.
The standing of the twenty counties
on the basis of miles of road improved
as given by the state highway depart
ment as follows: Montcalm, 62.7; Wex'
ford, 626; Oceana, CO.'S; Mecosta, COG
Muskegon, GOA; Manistee, 55.7; Mason,
50.6; Antrim, 48.4; Benzie, 45.1; Kent,
Az; Grand Traverse, 39.2; Kalkaska,
36.7; Newaygo, 1884, Osceola. 1873; EN-.
met, 21.4; Missaukee, 20.6; Lake, 1913
Ottawa, 10.1; Charlevoix. 81; Leelanau,
&c.
The above figures are for the nine
years ending with June last. Since the
first of July many miles of roadway
have been completed. This is especial
ly true for Leelanau county, where the
main highways are being turnpiked
and covered with gravel at a surprising
ly rapid rate.
Muskegon, of the twenty counties,
has made the greatest expenditure for
road Improvement purposes. In nine
years it spent almost quarter million
of dollars. Oceana county was second
in the amount of expenditures, its road
builders having used $213, ,667.93. Wex-
ford's spendings amount to $l64, ,03l. 40.
The other counties using over one
hundred thousand dollars each are:
Manistee, Mason, Mecosta, Grand Ira
verse, Antrim, Montcalm, Kent and
Kalkaska.
Of the twenty counties, Oceana has
received the largest amount of state re-
ward, it having nearly sixty thousand
dollars to its credit. Muskegon is sec
ond with s57, $50 to its credit and Wex-
ford third with 35,262.
The road building that has been done
in the past is but a beginning During
the next few years all the principal
highways are to be improved until
there are firm, level roads from the
farming sections to the shipping points.
Furthermore, the West Michigan Pike
skirting the shores of Lake Michigan
and the Grand Traverse and little Ira
verse bays is to be made into scenic
auto road that will be famous through
out the north central states.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
RESOLUTIONS.

Whereas, 1t has pleased the Almighty
God in his infinite wisdom to remove
from our midst our beloved sister, Mrs.
Iva Pearl Burbank, and therefore, be it
Resolved, that the officers and mem
bers of South Arm Grange, No. S15 ex-
tend to her bereaved family their heart
felt sympathy in the loss of their be-
loved wife and mother and be it further
Resolved, that copy of these resolu-
tions be sent to each of the local papers
for publication and a copy be sent to
the bereaved family; that they be spread
upon the minutes of the next meeting
Be it further
Resolved, that our Charter be draped
for thirty days.
Committee:
EUNICE LISKUM.
BESSIE GROENINK.
IRWIN MURPHY.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
MAGAZINES

Magazines are an accumulation of
advertising pages with just enough
reading matter sandwitched in between
to keep them from being catalogs. The
average magazine Of today may be ex-
pected to contain about twelve articles:
One on finance, one on politics, and ten
love stories. High-brows may come
and high-brows may go, but so long as
sex writer's remain the magazine edi-
tor should worry. Sometimes a man
gets the idea that he can run magazine
and print neither love stories nor
advertising, but these ventures never
get farther than Volume One.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
"WARNING!"

An organization styled the National
Farmers Union is flooding newspaper
offices throughout the country with
free plate matter.
The appearance of the pages gives
the impression that the articles are pre-
pared in the interests of farmers, and
many publishers are accepting and
printing them with that impression.
Look for the little joker
Read the proof sheets carefully and
reject the matter appearing in each
page which you do not consider entitled
to admission to your columns.
The scheme is insidious.
Each page carries legitimate, well
written articles to cover other matter
which certain large interests desire to
smuggle into your columns. For ex-
ample, a recent issue contained an arti-
Gle advocating higher freight rates.
Another article in the same page urged
the abolishment Of the 'ful crew" rail-
road law passed by various states.
The articles give legislators the i'm
preston that farmers and publishers
favor higher freight rates and smaller
train crews.
Thus do certain interest attempt to
mold public opinion.
1t costs many thousands of dollars to
prepare and distribute each page, and
"The National Farmers Union" pays
the bills.
WHO PAYS THEM?
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
Ever Think of 1t This Way?

When you find that your watch il
losing minute day you hasten to
have it regulated.
II you find that your pulse is losing a
beat or two a minute, the fact does not
worry half as much as does the loss of
the second or two by your watch.
The watch mnst go at once for re.
pair, but your pulse-well, you think
that that will take care of itself. No
matter about that.
The chances are you don't really
know whether your pulse is beating or
not, but you will compare your watch
with a chronomster at least once q
week. But you never compare your
pulse with anything. Why?
Because you don't care as much
about your heart as you do about your
watch. Your watch cost you perhaps
5000, but your heart cost you nothing,
and you value il accordingly.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06

Unpa artionable orlme OF the vetera
An BoaPder In He Youth, -samnn

objectionable orlme Of the Veteran
40 BoaPder In He Youth ~su11
"I never had but one row IN
boarding house." said the veteran
boarder, "and that brought on my
self.
I'm this house we certainly did have
tough steak. Where they got it
never knew. 1 used to think they
bought the sole leather remnants from
a trunk factory about four blocks
from our house and cooked them Tor
steak.
BE that as 1t may, the steak was
tough and one night l conceived what
then thought was a felicitous fancy.
you have seen those knives with
a cutting edge on one side and saw
teeth on the other2 They sell 'em to
housewives for cutting of slices or
ham, the knife to cut with and the
saw to saw the bone. Well in my
youthful foolishness I bought one or
those saw knives and took it home,
and the next night we had steak Tor
dinner I took it down and laid it be-
side my plate on the table. Well, II
made a sensation.
when my piece Of steak came in
tried it first with the knife side Of my
saw knife, but there was nothing do
ing, and then 1 turned the knife over
and tried the saw side and 1 sawed
and sawed and sawed away, bending
down over the plate and bearing on
and saving hard with all hands ST
ting around my table stopping eating
and looking on, and
1--WE were all having lots OF fun,
and then without any warning the
landlady came IN. She came in and
stood alongside Of me, all without my
knowing, with me keeping right on
saving, and then, she touched me on
the shoulder and i looked UP, with the
whole dining room now looking on,
and then she stood there and looked
down at me, just looked at me, that
was all, but the look she gave me
was enough. / put down the saw.
II hoped it would end there hao
put away the saw knife for good
but it didn't. 1t was on a THURSDAY
that 1 performed my grcat feat Tor
the amusement Of my table, and on
Saturday when paid my board TOT
the week the landlady coldly inform
ed me that my room had been rented
to a boarder who would take posses
sion of it next morning, SUNDAY, ano
that day l had to spend looking for
another boarding. place, which was
not at all funny.
1T is difficult to find anything per-
feet all the way thro ugh. Tough
as the steak undoubte dly was my
room had always beela kept in the
pink of order and I Gel 'tainly did hat
to leave it. But for nch crime a
mine there could be suspension o
sentence, for as every hoarder shouit
know there is one thi' ~ that no land
lady will stand for, 81 70 will not stans
making fun OF her ia bse."-New forl
Sun.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
Other Brains and Ours.

Worry is the interest we pay on bor-
rowed trouble.
The good that is in you is of small use
as long as it stays there.
The drum makes the most noise, but
it is the silent baton that directs the
orchestra.
A New York tango parlor has estab-
lished nursery so mothers may leave
their babies while they tango. Babies
with that sort of mothers would be
better off in the pound.
DR.. Cook is surely humorist. He
wants Congress to decide whether or
not he discovered the North Pole. Dis
covering the Pole by act Of Congress
would be the prize joke of the age.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
AFTER MANY YEARS

j. L. Southers, Eau Claire, Wis,
writes: "Years ago wrote you in re-
gard to great results obtained from
Foley Kidney Pills. After all these
years | have never had a return OF
those terrible backaches or sleepless
nights; am permanently cured" Men
and women, young and old, find this
reliable remedy relieves rheumatism,
backache, stiff joints and ills caused by
weak or diseased kidneys or bladder. =
Hites Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
USES AND APPLICA-
TION OF REMEDIES

Note:-Following are some of the
many uses of the remedies every home
should keep on hand, as outlined in the
article on "a Home Medicine Chest"
published last week.
Aromatic Spirits Of Ammonia-Useful
as stimulant; often used in place of
alcoholic stimulants where their use is
objected to. Is also useful in cases of
acid dyspepsia, nervous or sick head
ache, and simple nervousness. Dose
for adult IA teaspoonful in third of
tumbler of cold water; for child, ten
drops in fourth tumbler of water. This
may be given every fifteen minutes
until four or five doses have been taken
Castor Oil-General use is well
known.
Syrup of Ginger-Good for diarrhoea
with cramping pains. Dose: One-third
teaspoonful in q glass of water every
hour for four doses.
Syrup of Ipecac-A good emetic If
used freely. Adult should be given
tablespoonful; infant as near a tea
spoonful as possible. 1t will do no harm
and too much is a safer risk than not
enough. 1t is used in cases Of poison
ing, convulsions, Group, whooping
cough or asthma.
Essence of Peppermint-A few drops
in
collie. Also good in cases of indigestion
for adults.
Listerine-Excellent for gargling OF
sore throat or sore mouth. Not intend
ed to swallow, but is not harmful.
Sweet Spirits of Nitre-Teaspoonful
added to tumbler of water; dose for
adults, tablespoonful, for child of any
age, teaspoonful of the mixture every
half hour. Good for fever Promotes
healthy activity of skin and kidneys
and will often loosen tight cough.
Oil of Cloves-Used chiefly for tooth
ache, piece of cotton being saturated
and inserted in tooth.
EPSON Salts-A tested and tried ca
thartic. Adult take tablespoonful dis
solved in tumblerful of water.
Calomel-A 1-l0 grain tablet every
half hour for ten doses for adult, four
doses for children, is effective cure for
acute constipation.
Quinine-Standard remedy for break
ing UP cold, or for malarial attacks. For
internal hemorrhage of women 10
grains mixed with water will often
promptly check and should be given in
every case.
Carbolized Salve - Cleansing and
healing for bruises.
Hydrogen Peroxide A valuable
cleanser of infected wounds.
Sweet Oil-Heaiing for sore spots
and bruises.
Turpentine-Danger Of lockjaw may
be averted if wound caused by nails or
other metal is kept well soaked with
turpentine. For tight cold on chest,
greasing with lard or sweet oil to pre-
vent blisterlng, then generous appnca-
ton Of turpentine.
Carron Oil-Invaluable for burns.
Dry Sulphur-In case of liberated
sore throat, nothing is more effective
than to cover the ulcers with the dry
sulphur by inhaling with a clay pipe.
Lime Water-Excellent to settle sick
stomachs. Good to give children in
milk in hot weather.
See this column next week for ar
ticle on: "Antidotes for Poison"
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
All men are born free and unequal.

All men are born free and unequal.
What delightful world if the rose
kept its odor as long as the moth ball
does!
II better cough syrup than Foley's
Honey and Tar Compound could be
found, we would carry it. We know
this reliable and dependable medicine
has given satisfaction for more than
forty years; therefore we never offer a
substitute for the genuine. Recon-
mended for coughs, colds, Group,
whooping cough bronchial and lagrippe
coughs, No opiates. Hites Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06

The average woman can talk so long
on given subject that most men hate
to give her one.
However, the woman who marries
preacher doesn't have to nag him in or
der to get him to 90 to church.
Possibly the explosion Of the theory
that two can live as cheaply as one is
responsible for good many divorces.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
w. c. T. u. Officers for 1915.

AT the Annual meeting of the w. c..
T. U. the following officers were elect
ed:
Pres.-Mrs. Mable Hall.
lst Vice Pres.-Mrs. Martha Grigsby
End Vice Pres.-Mrs. Mary Robertson
Corresponding Sec'y.-Mrs. Hattie
Porter.
Recording Sec'y-Mrs. E. Cummings.
Financial Sec'y-Mrs. Alice Joynt.
Treas.-Mrs Rose Painter.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
The Week in History.

Monday, l.-Texas seeded, 1861.
Tuesday, 2.-Ground Hog Day.
Wednesday, 3.-Horace Greeley born,
1911.
Thursday, 4.-Confederate states organ.
lied, 1861.
Friday, 5.-Roger Williams landed, 16-
81.
Saturday, 6.-Constitution ratified by
Massachusetts,, 1888.
Sunday, 7.-Charles Dickens born, 49,
IL. Georgia settled, 1873.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06

When a man borrows trouble, he
doesn't have to pay it back-but he
paya lot of interest.
If we could only borrow money on
our good intententions, poverty"
wouldIsoon be an obsolete word.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06

After a man has known a woman
about so long he begins to tell her the
story Of his life-and three-fourths Of
the story is fiction.
A dark cloud, financially speaking, is
one without silver lining.
Charlevoix county herald., 1915-02-06
Stung Again
National Farmers Union Works
the Poor Publisher.

Some time ago The Herald received
an offer from the above concern, in
which they agreed to furnish material
for use without any charges. The idea
being that the "Union" was in the in
terest of the down trodden farmer.
We couldn't find the "joker" then but
the proposition went into the waste
basket. Several of our exchanges
however, have been using the matter.
Now comes The American Press, one
of the trade papers, with the following