davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
HONORARY PRESIDENTS
BY Arthur Brooks Baker

The woods are full Of candidates to
steer this noble nation.
Who yearn TO seize the helm without
the slightest trepidation.
And guide the course Of things be-
meath the big star-spangled
banner
In an unusually smooth and cred
liable manner.
They'll furnish wealth for all the
poor and work for all the va
grants.
And pave our path with roses Of in
estimable fragrance.
We're offered many roads 10 peace
and boulevards to glory
Each would-be president can tell a
very charming story.
He wants to serve his fellowmen with
works of weight and frequence;
He covets not the honor or the neat
financial sequence:
He lays his private preference upon
his country's altar;
We neec his noble aid and he will
never finch or falter.
But as the numbers multiply the
difficulty thickens;
To turn so many good men down, is
painful as the dickens.
We need an honorary list on which
to post their measure:
To print: Wed have each one Of
these for president, with pleas
ure.
Their merits shine as brilliantly as
any busy lighthouse,
And we are very sorry that we've
but a single white house"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
AND MONEY GRAB.
BEERS"
Gaporte, Ind, Herald.)

Oaporte. Ind, Herald)
There used to be a time when il
was considered an apt designation
to refer 10 a farmer as a reuben"
or a "hayseed." OF course. the
really sensible folks in village, town
and city took no stock in those
terms; but sometimes one is justified
in doubling whether most people are
sensible.
The village merchant and store
keeper used to be called a money
grabber." with such other pet names
as "grasping, selfish, and unfair" be-
ing added promiscuously. OF course,
persons knowing the facts never
| believed such charges-but a large
portion of the population never had
access to the facts and believed every
quip and witty remark" perpetrated
\ by the pop gabblers.
These MISUNDERSTANDING and
preiudices have been worn away
nowadays. however. The farmer is
looked upon as a dighified, respect
able citizen. and thousands of money
ed fathers, in sending their sons TO
college. are choosing agricultural
institutions, so that their sons may
master calling that year by year
is developing into the most technical
profession we know Of And in the
future many more thousands of
young men are going to become
/ farmers instead of lawyers. doctors
and physicians. The reason is evil
dent TO everyone who takes the
| trouble TO look around.
The country merchant nowadays
is looked upon as a benefactOr of
mankind. He isn't a money grab
ber'' at all In fact, he seldom ac-
quires as comfortable a competence
as the majority of his competitors.
Few ever retire" and move to
town: they have TO stick to their
business till death ends their careers,
lin the majority of instances. They
are the legitimate Intermediates be-
tween the manufacturers Of goods
in the distant cities and the rural
and small town population and are
always on their posts TO serve their
constituencies instantly. They are
respected. dignified citizens and are
deserving OF the friendship and con-
sideration of their rural patrons.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
WAKING UNDER LADDERS.

In attack upon the silly superstitions that pre-
vail even i'm this headed day the statement was
made that would be worth paying a man dollar
an hour for walking back and forth under ladder
just to prove the approximation silly and
grouniless OF all the supersttons that might have
been singled out for contempt this the least
offensive.
Not walk under a ladder is mere matter OF
common sense particularly there is some one on the
ladder the simple Of walking under a
ladder not going bring death and disaster in its
wake. there's every practical danger Of bucket
paint upsettng the head Of the person so lack
n judgment place himself under it, Bricks.
shingles and tools have been known to fall from work
mems hands aud nit the innocent pedestrian. And
there is the more danger the passerby may
bump the ladder and upset it's occupant
No. it's better 10 keep safe distance from ladders
whether through ignorant superstituton plain COM
mon The dollar hour might better be earned
by defying the l3-at-a table superstition.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
LEND A HAND, COL.

The colonel says that he refused make that speech
in Canada because he would surely what it would
be unwise say"
Oh pshaw, Teddy! Go there and cheer 'em up
by touching off the gantest hrecracker you've got!
Those Canadians are having sad time of il, and
they real folks, They're volunteering.
getting their wheat seized punging into debt, standing
under mOritoriums and such, they don't to
have bit home talent capable of properly twisting
the kaisers mOustaches oratorcaly. What they need
oratory that cheers does not inebriate you
showed old England your way Africa.
that you're magazine is loaded with that sort didn't
you? Go and off few! You can't possibly
short of things it would be unwse to say, and so
we've fear Of your returning crippled
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
EXPLAINING THE EVIL ONE AND
THAT APPLE AGAIN.

Editor Tmes:-The E-il one didn't give
the apple to the man. because the Evil one knew
the man would eat il himself but the woman
would go halves.-Sunrage Reader.
can't prove anything by But gee! why can't
the sunragists so ahead with their line propaganda
without habltualy lambasting old Adam and his two
sons.
There is Il whole lot about that apple affair that's
stu unexplained but there any doubt but the
Evil one knew his business Maybe he did fear that
Adam would swallow the whole apple but theren be
those who will claim that if Eve knew the fruit was
good she get 81 per cent away from Adam
and the Evil one must have understood this. Then
there those who feel that Eve was approached
simply because she was easier and the Evil One
knew that if there was TO be racket, she would
surely get Adam up his ears loyal wife
should
course the entire arrangement for the fall would
have upset had possessed the inclination
To go halves family danger like being kicked out
Of house and home 1t is point well made by our
Suffrage convincing to all, perhaps, but
STILL real pointed point.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
JUST A LITTLE CASE AND
PIRLClTY Helped.

free legal aid bureau. Here's another example OF
how it works certain dealer in cows sold COW to
a poor woman under a guarantee that IL would give
three gallons of milk II gave After protesting
TO the dealer who laughed at her in desperation she
vent TO the ems free legal aid bureau.
investigation made conscienuously as II there
was big cash fee involved Numerous victims OF the
sharper. who disclosed made "a business OF mis-
representing cows were unearthed The city bureau
took all their cases The first was TO advise the
newspapers and they warned the public and refused
the fraud advertisements.
The COW dealer is anxious, now. to make good his
victims losses and keep good himself if the free legal
a bureau Will let up ON him.
little thing itself that free legal aid bureau but
it will in the long accomplish more toward the
wedding the harpies who upon the poor and
unsophIsticated than dozen police forces.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
THE BOY SCOUTS MOVEMENT
AND AMERICA FIRST.

ousting = Ernest Thompson Seton executive
head OF the Boy Scouts of America provides very
little object lesson.
Ernest Thompson Seton born in England and.
though an American by adoption and protracted resi-
dence neglected rather important formality Of
taking naturalization papers. The Boy Scouts
preferred governed by American born warrior;
owing no divided allegiance
There great many-entirely too many-men Of
foreign birth this country who waxing fat in
influence. well money who citizens Of the
United This is free country of course, and
any foreigner permitted exercise his discre-
ton about becoming a naturalzed citizen. but If we
have any honors emouments hand around they
should properly be given those who are sworn to
uphold the constitution United States
fend its flag in time Of need.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
WOMEN INDORSE PREPARED
MSS

Cincinnati Commercial-T ribune.)
When so influential body of
leading women as the Ohio Fedora
ton of Women's clubs indorses ade-
ouate naval and military prepare
ton on the part of the United States
il means that the deliberations OF
those sentimentalists who believe
dishonor is preferable TO war have
failed TO make any serious impress
sion or the thinking people of the
United States.
Much of the former lassitude and
indifference noticeable on this sub
Jet hsS been due 10 the ridiculous
belief that the United States could
lick the earth" in a month or two
without any previous preparation
The pitiable efforts OF the allies 20
stem the tide of German invasion
have opened the eyes Of Americans
to the fact that the only way 10
fight an army prepared down 10 the
last detail is with an army equally
as well trained and equipped. They
have recognized the overwhelming
force OF the logic of present events
that il would De better TO Chinsfy
the country and give up all pTetense
Of maintaining an army and navy
unless we intend 70 make those two
branches OF the national service
sufficiently large and effective TO do
the work they are intended 10 do.
There Is no process OF reasoning
by which the issue may he made
fractional. racial, or political All
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
successfully "SOUSED.0

Hon. Riddle mayor of Atlantic City announces for
the entertainment of the New Jersey Retail Liquor
dealers association the successful year he
ever had was in which he 'soused" most of
time.
Not at all improbable, Mr.. Mayor We know men
who successful when dead drunk. It's their
only success the biggest thing they achieve. To
merely to accomplish the sought the
good bad. wise foolish, sober drunk The
fellow who keep "soused' most of year a
way. the whole world 9 turning away
from the fellows Who be most successful only
vi LIQUOR.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
POOR MARKET FOR EUROPEAN WAR
BONDS IN u. s. A.

BONDS IN l.. =. A.
The public has been surprised to learn that the
famous $500 credit loan the allies in this
country was, after all, a popular success The
syndicate that underworld the loan found itself at
the expiration OF 0-day limit with $1S0,0OO0 600
of the bonds its hands and had TO dump them
into market bring what they would. From the
fact that these securities have selling lately at
from So to 81 under the syndicate price. it's
evident that the underwriters losing money on
the deal
1t was supposed, from the readiness with which
fnanciers Joined the syndicate and subscribed for
blocks the bonds that the public would absorb
them readily But the public hasn't shown any such
Inclination. Its apathy probably due chiefly to two
causes First che allies lack of military success in
recent their corresponding failure to appeal
10 the American maginaton and. second the present
attractiveness of the American investment market.
The latter consideration is especially significant
Home investments are looking desirable every
day There is little doubt TO the ability of the
belserent nations pay their obligations but there
doubt the future OF the United states
Interest and patriotism combine 20 induce the Amer
investor help France permanent domestic en-
terprse rather than the European And the
tide American sold turning steadily To the up
building of greater 'aud souuder prosperity.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
A CORKER AT PEACE-MAKING.

Henry Ford surely overlooked a bet" II little
forceful slang is pardonable
There's in America who should have been
o the party for if any individual can
bring about peace he is the We don't know his
but his address may be secured from John X.
Tener president the National Baseball league. We
efer of course to the who conducted the peace
negotiation with the Federal Outlaws success
fully Getting the boys out OF the trenches in Europe
would be merely childs play peacemaker who
straghtened out that baseball tangle.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
IL PSYCHOLOGY o. Ii.

In AIhambra. Cal a well-known lady resident has
gone mad from reading the heart-ren6ing accounts
IT the awful war She imagines she is hesieged by
English troops and has barricaded herself
her home and loaded revolver repels all who
approach the psychological effect of the lurid
war tales. alas, AN too true.
brief space of time i'm the trenches
ON AN sides of were gdunt holoweyed battle-worn
men swaying to and FIRE like phantasmagoric demons.
Even now the recollection comes 20 us unreal as
the vagaries IF a troubled dream
Around above us, as crouched shrinking in
our cramped quarters the air filled with horrid
noises
The atmosphere was dense. sunocaung nauseOus.
deadly gases stHed us
We sasped breath
a signal bugle cali no doubt-though TO our stu
pihej senses is seemed much a motormans gong
IN crowded cuy-souuded warningy.
All, the charee.
The rush 90 the frantic mob demoncal visions about
as the hot fetid breath
heavy hairy hand throat; shaking the life
from 0ut cruelty. relentessly choking, choking
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
HOW'S THIS ONE?

How's this vagary OF the law? In Texas the
county Judge appoints lawyer to defend defendant
trial for lunacy
If the defendant is adjudged insane the attorney
five dollar fee from the II the defend
is acquitted the lawyer gets nothing And the
newspapers of Texas are bowling about the asylums
jais being overcrowded.
Better change the law the other way round and
maybe relieve the congestion
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
With Other Editors Than Ours

patriotic Americans, without regard
to party affiliations or racial descent,
should join hands in an effort to
Influence congress in behalf of such
an army and navy program as will
serve notice on all nations of the old
world that we are prepared to fight
in protection of the magnificent
wealth and resources with which q
bountiful providence has blessed us
Any other attitude would be not
only dangerous but pusillanimOus.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
TIE MELTING POT
GOMEZ TAKE POTLUCK WITH US.

ed into the lobby Of the oliver alone
"Mein Colt. how soon we are forgot
when We are deadi"
and. as a spectator described it.
looked around like a farmer wonder
ing where ne was at. he must have
recalled the wall of Rip Van Wrinkle,
Yes, a Shirt is Shirt. But
(Sen. Sherman.)
When I find a shirt that is the
right number l doubt very much
whether ] look TO see if il has color
or what kind of a figure in it. A
shirt is shirt. Most OF my clothes
are selected the same way.
THE ways things are going"
writes .. y. D., If ] get out of the
Christmas trench by March l Ill be
lucky"
PostmOrtem Notice.
CSterling. Conn. BuUetinO
Mrs Alice Miles Lincoln, having
left my bed and board, 1 will not
pay any bills contracted by her after
this date.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
oct. %, 1915. Sterling. Conn
T. r. has promised to keep silent
politically until after New Years
day. Gosh! but we bet he hates to-
REV. VIII B. Good is an Episco-
palian clergyman in Youngstown, Pa,
and he ought TO be.
HAVE you found that present for
father yet? If not. why not make it
a pair of suspenders?
ONLY two more days to Christ
mas And, Gosh! how glad we will
be when it comes.
WE need a new necktie.
c. y. F.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

LOOK at the difference between
the men and the women" sad Gov.
Ferris 10 the Knife and FOrkers. a
man buys a hat and wears il until il
is worn out. and a dress suit lasts
him 80 or 40 years" on the other
hand. governor. a man can waste
enough money trying TO do the
marketing TO buy him three new
dress suits and hats a year.
ANOTHER woman knocker is DIR.
Quackenbos. a New York nypnOtist.
He says the girl Of today is coarse
and immodest. unfit for marriage.
and that we regard as criminal libel.
AS far as our experience goes the
girls never looked better 70 US than
they do today.
BIG Sam holds the record by be-
coming a father-in-law and grand
father on the same day Some folks
say Big Sam amt speedy. but look
at the record.
THE allies struck hardpan at Gal
lipoli and failed because they
couldn't work it, IL seems that the
Turk is immovable as we'll as un-
speaka BILE.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

It's really touching To how solcitous allies
and the central powers the future of Greece
and Roumans. one would conclude from reading the
expressions Of spokesman the warning countries
the only object is TO STE that those
countries achieve their glorious destinies"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

The white house announces that all expensive pres
Pres't Wilson Mrs Gait except those from
close personal friends will be returned.
oh shucks, Woodrow. what's the of hurting any
bodys feelings that way? Just shuttle them up and
Tumulty them back Christmas presents from
and the madam. Remember next year election
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

into insensbnity gloating voice in our ear
Wake up old scout. end OF the line EVERYBODY
OUT"
latest news from the front" and left the trenches
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

Ben Lindsey who fined $500 for contempt OF
Colorado court, has been denied a new trial and has
Med notice of appeal oh. let it go. Ben, You know
YOU have $500 worth Of contempt for those
Denver
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

Won Bttenfed. official of American news at
Berlin is slated Papen's successor Washing
ton. Watch the eastern newspapers get with one
censor,
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

Kitchener says that Russia will put six million
troops in the field spring But they'll all be
late for Kitchener's drive OF last spring
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

Who knows that Mr.. Ford and his
pacifical friends. though they do
nothing else, will not acquire the
knowledge so much needd by them
all. of what this was about and for -?
They may come to see that il has
two sides. one right and one wrong
that there is more to it than earn
age and destruction; that immediate
peace. enormously desirable as 1t is
In some respects. might be attained
at costs In comparison to which those
of continuing the struggle would be
negligible. Nearness 10 the scene
of combat may give that informa-
ton to these worthy folk, just as it
has TO many others who approached
1t under the same misrepresentation
as theirs.-New York Times.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

Maybe Seattle's TO have floating postofhce. Hon.
Bill Humphrey has the gall s1.25O0OO build
something that Seattle site" anyhow.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23

After MIR. Ford stops the he might drop around
10 Panama stop canal slides while he's resting
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
THE BETTER ARMY.
(The Mystic Wo,kerO

If YOU buy but one Red Cross
Christmas seal, you become a part
of that army which is waging war
on germ diseases. That army is bet
ter than any of those armies which
are engaged in the destruction of
human beings.
The armies of the future will be
vast agencies for the benevolent bet
terment of the people of the earth.
The chief aim of the governments
Of the future will be 10 fight disease
and ignorance instead Of one an
other 1t is better TO live and let
live than 10 live TO kill.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
DEAR SANDY CLAWS:

(DetrOit News)
II YOU wanna make me happy
An my yOoltied fun inhance:
When YOU Bring dad his new slippers
bring his boy some thicEer pants
(Signed) JOHNNIE.
QUITE appropriately William
Grimm is joke editor of the Inter
lude.
OUR optimistic sport editor figures
that there will be 53 paydays in
1910.
1T must be great to be president.
but when one-time Pres't Taft walk
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-12-23
Northern Indiana's Greatest NewspapeT.

Only elght-coumn daily newspaper in Indiana outside
published every day 81 the year ana sed
on an Sundays Holidays day and nght J1ssI
all editions Entered at the south benN
q class
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-12-26
WILCOX CHAPTER OF
DAUGHTERS FORMED
Hrs. J. E. Hewlett Is President.
Ladies to Give Dinner to Veterans
at Tutw;ler Tuesday

Wilcox chapter No. 1902 United Daugh-
fers of the Confederacy of this city, have
deceived their charter and are now fully
organized.
The officers are: Mrs. J. E. Hewlett,
resident; Mrs. J. G. Smith, vice presi-
lent; Mrs. Robert r. Zell, treasurer.
The ladies of the chapter will give a
inner to the veterans of Camp Wilcox
It the Hotel Tutwiler Tuesday. The COM
klittee on invitations is composed of:
Brig. Gen. ]. G. Smith, Adj. Gen. Robert
4. Zell and Lieut.. Robert H. McCallum
from Camp Wilcox, and Mrs. Hewlett,
Hrs. Jones, Mrs. Bertha Hammond of
Wilcox chapter. The management of the
lIotel Tutwiler has very kindly offered
he service of this dinner free, and the
aides have provided everything else.
I Tickets will be issued to the veterans
Sy Adjutant Zell at Hotel Tutwiler before
The dinner The members of Camp Will
OK are requested by General Smith to
ssemble at the courthouse basement at
80 p. M, January 4, 1916, and march to
he hotel.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-12-26
OFFICER NJ. ROM|NE
lis SHOT AT NAUVOO
| AND BROUGHT HERE
Special Officer Was At
tempting to Arrest Luther
D0dd When Dangerous
ly Injured by Bullet

Marion Romine, special officer of Maui
Zoo, about 40 miles from Birmingham,
I'm the Southern railway, was shot and
dangerously wounded, it is alleged, by
Euther Dodd, Friday night at 1880
Hclock, at that place.
Romine was brought TO Birmingham
yesterday afternoon at l O'Clock over the
Aoutnern, and removed to the South High
and infirmary by Lige 10y, where he
Jas operated on. w. H. Morrow, friend
e Romine, accompanied him. The hos
ttal authorities say that Romine is dan
cerously wounded, although he has a
Shance for his life. The bullet took effect
n the right side of the breast and ranged
downward Dodd escaped after the shoot
Flg and is being searched for by posse
10 citizens, headed by Sheriff Phillips.
n According to statements by eyewit-
Neses, Dodd was raising a disturbance in
lis boarding house, by shooting into the
ceiling. Special Officer Romine was sent
p quell the disturbance. He attempted
b gain entrance to the room Dodd was
n by knocking at the door. Dodd re-
Used to open and Romine kicked the
loor in. AS he stepped across the sill of
me door he was shot. Dodd put on his
klothes and escaped to the hills nearby.
The citizens of Nauvoo are reported
d be aroused over the affair and every
Effort is being made to effect the capture
kf Dodd. Romine is married and has
5everal children.