The Washington herald., 1915-08-15
By GEORGE R. MINER.

Dy 0kON0E n. MlNkk.
There is one, and only one, ensrossins
| topic of conversation down here in the
| crack between the continents and on the
adjacent land and water. European wars
may rage, stocks may turn somersa ults.
William Jennings Bryan may become
dumb. and Charlie Schwab cease to
smile, but only brief and passing inter
est would be taken. The talk would i'm
| mediately drift back to the main and
| important subject
That subject Is sweat.
1t is discussed and described in all its
phases by ladies and gentlemen, and it's
not called perspiration, either. That
word went out after ,forty-eight hours
| experience. 1t did not At the condition.
played a few sets of tennis in a broiling
sun at Northern summer resort but II
| is entirely inadequate to tell the story
down here.
Every ones diary on the cruise from
New York to San Francisco by way of
the canal is the same for ten days. and
is like NARY Twain's on shipboard. with
little addition. II reads like this:
Got up-dressed-ate breakfast-sweat-
ate lunch-sweat-ate dinner-sweat-went
TO bed-sweat."
Ladies discuss-preferably at the din
ner table-the best way to remove 1t.
Gentlemen get quite excited in argu-
ments over the amount they can manu-.
facture.
The salt water in the pool doesn't
take it of me-" said one of the widows.
Il have to have a fresh water shower
afterward.''
Il have to cover mine up with pow
der" chirped in Cutie the belle Of
the ship
BY the way, there are many widows
aboard; two are conspicuous-a merry"
and a melancholy The merry"
wears a pith helmet over one ear and
rakish white clothes; the melancholy"
sauzy black stuff. wistful expression
and naughty eyes. They run close heats
in popularity with all in the unattached
male contingent from the lons-legged
college boys to the tired and retired bust
ness men.
When We pulled out of New York Hsr-
Dor we had very considerable cargo of
fat women. know why now. 1t was by
the doctors orders. for when We reach
San Francisco they will all have the
general physical specifications of Mrs.
Irene Castle. The sweat will have done
its oenefcent work; it's like spending
two days in continuous Turkish bath
It's worth the price Of the trip alone No
wonder the matrons smile through their
moisture. They are melting happily.
Also. it's handy in connection with
flannel trousers. No matter how they
shrink in the wash, your waist line will
have shrunk TO meet the requirements
The unadvertised attractions Of this trip
are many. This is a tip for the Pan
ama-Pacife Steamship Company. II has
not been paid for
It's an odd thing that the negroes on
the isthmus don't perspire. They seem to
be a S dry as a prohibition town on Sun
day. Everything else suggests a Turk
ish bath. even the hotel clerks: but in
stead OF rubbing YOU down, they shake
you down
Two hotels on the isthnus belong to
the government. There are none others
worth mentioning. The one at Colon il
new and cool looking despite its low
lying perch on a mud point. It's called
the Washington and it is a very COM
Portable hotel Its much more COM
Portable than successful. I don't know
how many hundred employees II has. but
I should imagine its normal number of
guests are about seven paying persons.
Anyway. the colored walters are numer-
Gus enough to support several thriving
lotteries in Colon. Apparently buying
those walters can find to do. took din
ner there and four Of them were hud
died around the back of my chair and
succeeded admirably in keeping the
breeze of. Still the dinner got by them
somehow and did reach me after awhile.
The three big. clean. nice. cool-looking
dining rooms were not absolutely de-
serted. Several other tables were occu-
pied and the patrons were quite as elab-
orately guarded as I.
This was a gala night. too. Our ship
Colon town. The band of the Twenty
ninth Infantry was there rafting of
modern dance music and a handful of
trim. smart-looking officers in white
duck uniforms with little black slap
sticks" whirled the girls from the ship
over the red tiled floors to the strains
of the one-step. the hesitation and the
tango. 1t was about as crowded as a
fashionable church in August. Under
ungala conditions the emptiness of that
hotel must be impressive
The government pays the fiddler It's
probably a pretty stin price. but, Of
course, some time a lot of people may
be attracted to the Turkish bath advan-
tases to be had and throng the wide
piazzas and corridors Of the Washing
ton. where every room has 4 bath and
a row Of beautiful royal palms surrounds
the cemented swimming pool in front.
where no shark is allowed to enter. and
not much water Meanwhile, the Hotel
Washington is one of the incest white
elephants that our government has
raised. and is caring for. It's fed on the
long green instead Of hay.
The Tivol, at Panama. is the other
government hosiery. It's an estab-
lished hotel and people 60 there. not
only because it's a good one-the meals
are a dollar each, the same as at the
because II Is on top oil
a hill where there are always a good
breeze and a charming view. and be.
cause Panama is a biggish city. some
1000. and there Is no real rival. doubt
IL the government hand has to go very
deep in its pocket for this luxury.
When Colon was dirty old AspinwalfI
it had a reputation that stank in the
nostrils of every traveller and seafarins |
man. Yellow fever, cholera. typhoid. |
malaria and other evils that insapitary
man and conditions are heir to were a
continuous performance. Aspinwall and
Santos were the two ports In the world
that were absolutely blacklisted. All
ship papers were made out to read that
the vessel was bound from q certain |
place to . certain other place. or any
other port or ports in the world that in |
-