New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-04-06
CURING A DRUG VICTIM
AS 1t Affected One Who Was Con.
hrmed Eater.

To the Editor of The Tribune.
Sir: The story of Mrs. Anna Wells, in the
dope ward" on Blackwell's Island, as told
by Eleanor Booth Simmons, is interesting.
but am sorry to say only true as far as 1t
goes Mrs. Wells has only just got nicely
started know, for / have been through 1t
all, that a morphine habit is mental habit
as we'll as a physical one and that the physi-
cal suffering attendant upon the cure of the
disease is not marker to the mental suffer
ing.
7, too, am a self-supporting woman. In my
line I was m expert, who drew as high a
salary as $50 week. For eight years took
morphine | was an eater" and it is less
than a year since l stopped it. suffered
physical pain, but the short week or ten
days of that was as nothing compared to my
mental suffering since.
Soon after the Boylan law was passed my
source Of supply for morphine was cut of. l
was then taking twelve grains q day.
could get no more. A physician told me
my only hope was hospital. The private
ones wanted from $50 to 500 week, and
could not pay it. l went to Bellevue.
Ny stay there was brief-ten days. !
took the Lambert cure and was discharged
For few weeks l suffered from pains in
my legs. The pains in my abdomen did not
bother me after left the hospital. For days
was so weak could hardly lift hand
Gradually l grew stronger. 1t was then that
my real troubles began.
r. i'm nj
There was nothing In particular that | want
Cd l had no physical desire for morphine,
neither had | a mental longing for it, but
still there was that awful something lacking
in my brain. At times it would seem to me
that there was no crown to my skull. ] have
often inadvertently, Of course. put my hand
to the top of my head to find out IL it was
really and truly there.
have sat in a room with five or six other
persons all friends Of mine and all talking.
and have felt that was sitting in morgue
that every one and everything about me
was dead This would not be on one occa-
sion, but on many, every day. would lie
sleepless at night q dared take nothing to
make me sleep, and it would seem that
was all alone on vast, dark gray ocean and
that on the top of every wave there bobbed
dead body; none that | knew, but they
we're just dead. This was not one night
only, but countless nights.
Physically, except for the weakness Of my
limbs upon out of the ordinary exertion,
had no difficulty. Mentally, tell you and
tell Mrs. Wells and Miss Simmons, it was
hell There is no other name for it,
Always, day and night, that awful void,
that terrible, fearsome lacking of something,
I knew not what I did know what would fill
it, but | would not take it. Fortunately,
had support from those who loved me. They
watched me when | needed watching; they
did everything others besides myself could
do, and now, eight months after ] left the
hospital, | feel that | have chance. There
are times when feel that lack of some
thing" terrible as 70 be undesirable, but
they are now of less frequent occurrence.
| could easily stand the physical suffering
of the cure" again, and would so so gladly
if it would do me or any one else any good
| would not go through the mental fortunes
Of the last eight months again for all the
money in the world. II knew had to face
them again tomorrow | would kill myself
to- day.
am sorry for Mrs. Wells. I am sorry for
any person who is or has been a drug user
l am writing this to give those who don't
know something Of an idea Of what the
"cure" Of drug user means-to the user It
is a crying shame that the City of New York
and the state fail so miserably in provid-
ing for the thousands who are asking for
aid 70 overcome their habits. This winters
question of the unemployed" is nothing 70
that Of the dope fends" which another win
ter will present.
One message TO the unfortunate ones who
find themselves in my former positionl II
can be done, think. Yes, |, after an eight
months trial, am sure of it. 81. L. &.
New York, April 1. 1915