Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-03-21
AND THEN VIRGINIA COLLAPSED

Scene, a classroom of High
school during lunch period. Five girls
variously engaged
Virginia: He is gone. gone.
Mary: How tragic. To whom do you
refer:
Virginia: Why. to dear Mr.. Bach, our
math. teacher, OF course
LenoTa Cooking up from n German
book: Gone, has he? Well. I thought
that he wouldn't last long. Flunked
IN his exams. I suppose?
virginia: You are correct. Len. bu,
from whence such sudden knowledeeo
Lchora: Your stupidity shocks me-
dear child. Mr.. Bach was too much
OF dream to be we'll informed on such
ii dnii subject as mathematics.
Adelaide eating slice of pie with
one hand and completing an English
essay with the other): Well. this trash
IS almost finished. II certainly is
dreadful about Mr.. Bach could al
most weep.
Beverly: Save your tears for better
purpose
adelaide: wonder If that snapshot
which Audrey maneged to take Of him
ever amounted to anything?
virginia: No, worse luck Don't you
rccail II; He was just saying "atten-
ton when she snapped il.
Mary tdohbing her eyes with bool,
mark; Yes. yes, ! remember it we'll
lie always looked 30 cute when he
said attention"
enora-We'll all admit that he was
"a perfect love. but now that he is
gone pray Peace to his ashes"
virginia: it is easy enough for YOU
10 say that. hut if YOU saw that old
baid headed dodger this morning may
ne You might change your tune
l.ehora; Heavens! Old: Bald-headed.
How do YOU know?
virginia: Well, l know now because
| n hn
while all OF YOU were were taking the
biology exam.
Beverly: Oh. tell us all about him.
please. Virginia."
Adelaide: OH yes. do tell u.s. Ugh!
1t makes me SILVER Old and bald
headed
Virginia: Well ! didn't see exactly
an OF him, just the back of him. you
know. He is old as the hills. short
ana thick and pretty nearly bald
headed with just little fringe OF
white hair hanging over his collar. He
has
Mary: For heavens sake spare us tho
narrowing details
i'enora: Well. Virginia has given us
,he hack view only. Perhaps he will
look better from the front.
Beverly: What on earth can YOU OK
peet when he is bald-headed and.
worst OF all, affects that awful flowing
style with the sad remnant?
Ndclalde: ] just know that he must
nave one OF those horrible long boards.
Beverly: And beak nose.
Lenora: And horrid horn-rimmed
eyesiasses-er. ] mean, spcctacles
Mary: And a chin n mile long.
Adciaide: just try to imagine what
Gucer-looking wretch he must be.
virginia: l am fully prepared to
hate him.
Lenora: It's awful Mr.. Bach wa.
so nice and tall and broad shouldered
and curly haired
Adelaide: Hush. lest dissolve in
tears ''
Beverly: know will get the creeps
IL he looks at me with his nasty
sNutnchcd, ferret eyes. and
G2nters Miss Garden. an English
teacher)
Miss Gardener: 1t is a lovely day.
girls. You should he out instead Of
gossiping like mngpies
virginia: We were only talking
about the dear old gentleman whom
we are to have for our new math
teacher.
Miss Gardener: Did you say an old
gentleman? l do not think that the
instructor in mathematics has arrived
as yet.
Virginia: saw him In the Office this
morning.
Miss Gardener (smiling): That, nv
dear, was the new janitor.
(Curtain.)
DORnTIJv