davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07


check
The second busiest block on Michigan avenue between South Water
River An investigator traffic
counted 1884 vehicles traffic
Madison
checked vehicles inc
without question these blocks
New York has and neither London Paris Berlin
showin he same o densty
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
When all others fail to please
Try Denison's Coffee.

One may be az good as the next
in a barber shop.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

MAIN line. IheSe servants are large
beneficiaries of the will Of Mrs Mary
Van Bell, who died recently. Before
her death Mrs. Van Bell expressed
the desire that her servants occupy
her beautiful residence until they
found homes elsewhere.
Although dazed at first by the
generous requests made by Mrs. Van
Bell, the servants soon became accus-
toned to the wealthy feeling"
Those who only a few years ago
crept humbly through the elegantly
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Eook of Mormon.

Joseph Smith published bis work
known as THE Book of Mormon" in
the year 1885, He claimed that the
work was a transcript. under divine
guidance, of certain golden plates
buried in central New York, the exist
ence of which had been supernaturally
revealed to him by an angel from
heaven.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

Two women were chatting about di,
ferent things when one suddenly sal
to the other:
when do you think the war win b
over, Mrs. Love-"
Tn a fortnight" was the prompt rt
ply, "as my husband has joined tn
army and he never kept a job longe
than a fortnight"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
A Sliding Scale.

What's your fee for legal advice?'
inquired the prospective client.
That depends" replied the lawyer.
IF you merely want me to tell you
what the law allows you to do, I'll
charge you five dollars, but if you
want to find out how you can do what
the law forbids, and get away with
it, my fee is from 800 up"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

trict of Chicago, according to a statis-
teal compilation of traffic figures com
pleted by w ]. Galligan, assistant
superintendent of streets. The Stats
tics indicate that 56,3O1, 800 vehicles
pass through the loop in a year.
With the Rush street bridge
ranked as the busiest span in the
world, the busiest merchandising block
in the world is State street between
Madison and Washington streets.
where 3,15O,O0O vehicles of all kinds
and descriptions pass up and down in a
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Ild14AE IS - - q e.
- ~ lSW1LE9 " "
Paw Knew EN- Both.

Little Lemuel-What is a pessimist,
paw?
Paw-A pessimist, son, is a man who
meets trouble half way.
Little Lemuel-And what is an op-
timist?
Paw-An optimist is a man who
doesn't meet trouble at all If he sees
il first
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

furnished of the Ticking
reflections
polished
with the brightness
the
The entire has been transformed into paradise To
sucht o
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

consignments were in United States
coin-some we have had to ship over
to Europe in other years when the
trade balance was the other way.
Then the Bank Of England evidently
ran out Of eagles, for the last ship
ment were s7,850,000 in United States
coins and $11,615,000 in sovereigns.
The British treat our eagles most
shamefully. They ship them by
weight. To bring each bag up to the
required heft they chop coins into
many triangular bits and add these
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
When MoNinn RunS.

IN packing rugs, when moving, al
ways sprinkle with powdered alum
and fold a few moth balls in when
rolling them. Then, if not used i'm
nedfately, as is sometimes the case,
there is no danger Of their being de-
stroyed by pests.-The Mothers Mag
azine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
SinnuIarlv lnannrnnriate.

Mrs. Jonsing-Dis hyah new minis
ter am fine preachah, but he am de
leanest an skinniest young man eb-
bah see!
Mrs. Black-Yes, an he done tole
nah husband, what weighs 240, to be-
war les he should be weighed in de
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Somewhat Different

l have just finished reading an &C
count of how they burned heretics at
the stake in ancient times" said the
moralizer. Such barbarism would not
be tolerated in this enlightened age"
No, indeed" rejoined the democrat,
izer. The modern hereto is let of
with roast in the religious journals"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

ike new girl and | am now relieved
Of all these troubles. / hope all young
girls will get relief as l have. never
felt better in my life."-Mrs. JOHN
TETREAULT, Box 116, Sterling, Conn.
Massens, N. Y.-"I have taken Ly-
dia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
and l highly recommend it. If anyone
wants to write to me I will gladly tell
her about my case. was certainly in
q bad condition as my blood was all turn
ing to water. Ihad pimples on my face
and bad color, and for five years I had
been troubled with suppression. The
doctors called it Armenia and Exhausa
ton, and said was all run down, but
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound brought me out all right. - Miss
LAVISH MYREs, Box "a, Massena, NY.
Young Girls, Heed This Advice.
Girls who are troubled with painful OK
irregular periods, bsckache, headache,
dragging-down sensations, fainting
spells or indigestion. should Immediately
seek restoration to lealth by taking Ly-
dia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
The Real Test

i don't see how that little Mrs
Grumpy can seem so well satisfied
with her husband. He never kisses
her or shows her any mark like that
Of affection"
Maybe not, but he gives her spend.
ing money without her ever having to
ask for it
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

in Berks county. Jimmie" is a real
sparrow. This little bird flew into the
cell in the Berks county Jail, where
Strazzeri was kept 8 prisoner for six
months after his arrest for the killing.
He came and went for several days,
and then took up his permanent resi-
dence there. When Strazzeri was
transferred to the penitentiary here,
he brought Jimmie along, hoping
against hope that the warden would
let him keep the bird. Kind-hearted
Warden McKenty said: of course,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
What He Was Thinkipo OF

Mrs. Bacon see to obtain abso-
Lutte quiet Dutch scientist has had
three rooms constructed, one inside
another, and has created vacuums be-
tween the walls.
Mr.. Bacon-Oh. well, every married
man couldn't afford to go to that ex-
pense, dear.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
IL Mould Seem So

Old Skinner-Yes, / advertised for a
handy man to work about the prem
| ises. / want man who doesn't chew,
| smoke, drink or gamble.
Applicant-And the wages?
Old Skinner-Six dollars a week.
Applicant-Huh! guess you want
| man that doesn't eat, either.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Creating Doubt.

If the archeologists don't stop dig
ging around in the ruins in Asia we
shall soon be as uncertain about what
really happened six or seven thousand
years ago as we are about the situar
ton on the fighting line in France.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
THE COUNTERSIGN.

first experience of night duty and was
feeling a little nervous. The pass.
word was discount"
In the darkest Of the small hours a
black form suddenly stepped up to
him.
''Wh-wh-who goes there?" he chal-
Ienged.
Friend" was the reply.
Advance, f-f-friend and give the DID.
discount"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Their Desire,

The prisoners asked that the war
den give themspermission to form a
club.
1T is granted, said the head of
the jail What kind of club is it
to be-"
An outing club" said they.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
A Short STAY.

7 thought you said the Nooriches
moved in the best society,""
4 said they moved into the best so
ciety"
''Yes?"
And then the best society moved
on"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Al Humble Cananftv

you say that seedy-looking individ.
ual knows how to handle menu"
Yes"
He doesn't look as if he had much
executive ability"
He hasn't. He's a rubber in a
Turkish bath
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
An Qbs+-eperous Catch.

I hear you caught a 40-pound cat
fish in your gill net"
We did
Make much Of a fuss?"
Tore the net all to shreds. For a
while we thought We had shared a
submarine"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

to form the nucleus of a state feet,
and as the fisheries are said to be
inexhaustible, fruitful grounds hav-
ing been located at depths not i'm
practicable for experienced deep sea
fishermen. great expansion is ey-
pected.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
His Forte.

Il don't know what kind Of posi-
ton to get for my boy. He never
learned anything at college except
sprinting."
Then why not make him q bank
runner"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
a RahHinn Responsibility

Cant you persuade your husband
not to bet on the horses?'
Yes" replied young Mrs Torkins
But I'm never able to tell which
horses to persuade him not to bet
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
In the ASYLUM.

What's the matter with the queer
patient over there who is going
through such queer antics?"
He's crazy on the subject of train
ing pets, and he thinks he's trying to
make a moondog bark at a sunfsh."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
At the Races,

do you suppose that suspicious
man over there is trying to pick win
ners? ''
He looks more to me as if he wers
trying to pick pockets"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
For Obvious Reasons.

"A fascinating widow, with an equal
ly fascinating daughter"
"A great team. eh?"
I'D hardly call them a team. They
never shine together"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

Mrs. Dash-Are you still keeping
boarders?
Mrs. Hash-No; my boarders are
keeping me.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Force of Habit

How do you suppose her business
admirer proposed to Katherine?"
"HoW?"
He wrote to her asking if she
would give him the refusal of her
hand?'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Still At Il.

THE British militant suffragettes
say they want to work like men for
the government instead of smashing
windows"
q see. They are going, instead, to
smash traditions"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Seekino SoIsce,

"Bliggins is careful not to let golf
interfere with business"
HE has to be" replied Miss
Cayenne. Nothing but good business
could take his mind off his bad golf"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
81 got his goat. >
ANGEL Johnny.

Johnny. with thirst for gore,
Nailed the baby to the floor;
Mother SAID, with a weary shrug:
Johnny, dear, don't spoil the rug. -
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
PAWS Idea of Il

Little Lemuel-Say, paw, is the
snare of drum a kind of trap?
Paw-No, son. You are probably
thinking of the snare of the willy
drummer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
DaiIy Pspers,

His Wife-Aren't you ever coming
to breakfast, Darlington?
He-Yes, yes, dear. I've nearly fin
ished the morning papers now, and
only want to glance at the evening
papers that have just come in.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
IN STERLING
LIVES 4 Girl
Who Suffered AS Many Girl
Do-Tells How She
Found Relief.
Sterling, Conn., am a girl of 2
years and / used to faint away ever

month and was yer
weak. I was ais
bothered q lot wit
female weakness.
read you, little bool
Wisdom for We
men, and I saw how
tn e RS h ad beer
helped by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound, and
decided to try it, ana
it has made me feel
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Well Informed.

BilI-It IS sail there are in the Unit
ed States 1.037 woman architects. de-
signers and craftsmen
Jill-uee. / know more designing
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Acquiring Mohammedan Title

Any Mohammedan who commits the
whole Of the Koran to memory is Civ
en- the title Of Hafz.-Cincinnat En-
ouirer
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Fiuures.

Lobbyist-May ! submit some fll
ures in support Of my contention?
Senator-WelI, thereu have to /
at least four figures.-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Scientific Adaptation.

OK represents the unknown guam
tity"
We'll, don't worry about it. / was
only going to ask you to lend me- a
e"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Familiar Odor.

This is the age of gasoline,
A truth we realize full well
AS proved by the signs Of all men seen
And also by our sense of smell.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
She lakes As MANY Chances.

Just the same. a man who can tell
good watermelon by looking at it and
humping it often selects a bad wife
by her looks alone.-Anaconda Stan
dard
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Lack of DAINTY.

q don't think chicken raising is a
manly business"
why not?"
Because it encourages hen-peck.
ing
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

Him very seldom associate with
anyone who knows more than l do.
Her-What a dreary, lonesome life
you must leadi
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Worlds Three Busiest Blocks Are In Chicago

HCAGo-The three busiest blocks the world where
- hummng
thousands Of pedestrians
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Rep rtee

81 came to steel" said the funny
rat.
and 1 spring to embrace you," re-
joined the matter-of-fact steel trap, as
it gathered the newcomer in.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
New York Domostics Live In Luxury for Time

NEW YORK-surrounded
~
the 100000 Bell Highland
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Dead Ietterg.

A legislative act, though fair,
May oft be far from, strong,
We pass a law With patient care
And then pass # along.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

When l was boy ! used to think
there was pot of gold at the end of
rainbow"
And now?"
Il have turned my attention from
rainbows to mining stocks"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Worry's Evil Effects.

What rust is to iron, worry is to
Selected.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07

keep him in his bluff hearty When Sazze took his "
he
his
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Gales Of GOTHAM
and q. dll0OfHherCITIES
318sFz ::i--zTZT1Sz~
Gotham Has Great Piles of Gold From England

NEW YoRNew York recently three gold shipments
~
and then elaborate
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-07
Sparrow Shares a Philadelphia Convct's Cell

the Sparrow prisoner arrived the
penenary
Nlng Diego Randazo
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-11-01

rades were dispersed by the bloody
clubs of the police. The next move
of the protectors of society was to
send a letter to the Maxwell street
station as a warning to set me free
at once. Should the authorities fail
to do so the station would be de-
stroyed by bomb. Luckily this letter
was printed in the yellow press be-
fore the captain even thought of
making it public. Thus the noble spy
who reports for many years to the
police department of the anarchistic
movement in Chicago was foiled.
Is Mr.. Schuettler naive or merely
deceived by his informers, who make
it their duty to invent such pure
and simple nonsense as there being
anarchists taking part in this striker,
1t seems so.
l, the secretary of the anarchists
of Chicago, am ready to prove to Mr..
Schuettler (if he desires I'll call at
his office that no anarchist has any
thing to do with this present strike,
directly or indirectly. 1 am afraid
that Mr.. Schuettler has the wrong
idea of the word "anarchism." It
would be a good thing for him to look
it up in some encyclopedia. never
heard of such a type of anarchists
as he describes to the public of Chi
cago, except that of the sluggers who
are produced by the police depart
ment, paid by manufacturers, and
are ready to quench, for few dol
lars, their murderous thirst for blood
by shifting the slaves who attempt to
strike for "some more soup" Now,
in order to secure public safety, Mr..
Schuettler must do away with the
professional sluggers and secret
agents that bring in false reports con-
corning the anarchist movement in
Chicago. Well, the police are well
come to attend all our meetings.
M. Bernstein, 1910 ST. Louis Az.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-11-01

over on the other side because Of
the light wood and cork construction
of the other rows of staterooms, and
they in their turn will slip out into
the water and float This arrange
ment would have saved all the state
room passengers on the Titanic, En-
press of Ireland and Lusitania, if they
had been in at the time. 1t would
not have saved any of the Eastland
tragedy because the water was not
deep enough. The inner row of state
rooms could be connected by track
with the outer row, so that all cabin,
stateroom and bunk passengers
could saved: This would necessitate
arranging all deck seats at the for
ward or rear ends of the boat, be-
cause the tracks on the sides must
be kept clear. The lifeboats would
be above the staterooms and would
not interfere.-AIIen Steven, 1925 N.
Ridgway AW.
ANARCHIST LEADER WRITES.
This letter is to Chief Healey's
first deputy, Schuettler, from an an
archist
81 have a man who has been MAX
ing reports to me for many years. He
moves in anarchistic circles. Suppose
there are anarchists in this strike.
We must protect the people of Chi
cago."
Such was the cunning statement
of Mr. SchuettIer to the city council
committee.
My aim in writing this letter is to
show to Mr.. Schuettler that he is al
ways led astray by his INSCRIPTIONS
spy. Here is an example: Two years
ago, being unemployed for long pc
Rod, 1 took the liberty to address sew
eral hundred men who were also out
of work, telling them that it is a
crime to permit human beings to
starve in such liberal country as
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-11-01
THE GENUINE REMEDY

of Tax Letters" but not tired of low
wages, poverty and all the misery re-
sulting from unjust taxation. But
Here's the Stuff: Let us hear about
the futile efforts Of unions-13
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1915-06-05

had, more copper than Spain, more
cattle than Texas, more horses than
Kentucky, more silver than Mexico,
more sheep than Arizona, more water
power than New England, more coal
than Pennsylvania, more marble than
Vermont, more sunshine than Cali
fornia, more rivers than New York,
and more politicians than Ohio.
If you have money to invest, labor
to sell, ideas to exploit or a career
to carve out, right here in Montana is
where the money is, you bet.
Don't show you are a tenderfoot
by kicking on the prices. If pie costs
ten cents cut remember that dimes
grow on sagebrushes and the sage
brush thrives without irrigation. Buy
big white Stetson and get into the
game-by and by you will be demand
ing mushrooms on your steak and you
will forget your Boston accent. Once
get the western ozone into your sys-
tenn, and you won't be satisfied until
you send for the old folks.-New
York Tribune"