davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1915-01-28
Penn,s covernor Inauuurated.

Harrisburg, Pa, Jan. 21.-Martin u.
Brumbaugh, Republican, was inaugu.
rated governor of Pennsylvania, sue
ceeding John X. Tener. There is no
change In the political complexion Of
the new state administration.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1915-01-28
Amerlcan Sailors Arrested.

Washington, Jan. 23.-SeVeral sail
ors of the American cotton steamers
Greenbrier and Carolyn, while ashore
in Bremen, were arrested. The men
will be released in time to rejoin their
ships before they leave port.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1915-01-28
seven Are euII+v a. corsnIracv.

Fort Smith, Ark, Jan. 22.-Seven
defendants in conspiracy charges pre-
ferred by a federal grand jury in con-
nectiOn with the outbreak Of coal min
ers and the Bache-Denman Coal COM
pany, pleaded guilty here.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1915-01-28
Swedish Steamer Sunk by Mine.

NWNN'STI
London, Jan. 25.-A special from
Bjorneborg says that the Swedish
steamer brett while entering the har-
Dor struck a mine and sank. Five
members of the crew were drowned
and 13 saved.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1915-01-28
nrus Win hu Sly Votes.

Painesville. - Fairport village, Lake
county, voted on the wet and dry
issue, which resulted in the drys win
ming by six votes. The drys polled
EOS and the vets 203.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1915-01-28
BARS ALIENS AS LAND OWNERS
Idaho House of Representatives Passes
Measure With This Pro-
vision.

Boise, Idaho, Jan. 22.-An antialien
land ownership bill was passed by the
house of representatives Of the Idaho
legislature on Wednesday.
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08

There is an old saying which SAYS. 1T
is no use to lock a stable door after the
horse has been stolen" I didn't lock
mine. and that gave the horse thief a
chance to come back and steal the har-
ness and buggy.
The divorce courts hold it a case of
cruelty to husband if he spends S. for a
box of cigars. So for a bottle of wine. and
pays dues for six different clubs. and his
wife asks him for 50 cents to buy a cou-
pie Of pairs of stockings.
Some men will kick at good fortune as
we'll as bad. In digging out a rabbit a
Nevada man brought bear to light and
though Bruin was ten times as valuable
as the hare. the man took to a tree and
complained for the whole twelve hours he
was obliged to roost on a limb.
When John went to the barn and found
his horse dead in his STALL he broke
forth in lamentations and declared his
loss at $50 He didn't deduct $500 for the
hay and oats the horse would have eaten
in the next three years had he lived.
There is no man so low and humble
that he does not suffer disappointment
now and then. He may have got seated
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08

As I went hunting for Casey. the cop
on his beat the other evening. found
him standing on one foot and leaning on
an iron fence before dwelling and talking
with the servant girl. whose head and
shoulders were out of an open basement
Mr.. Casey" I said, your roundsman
is looking for you and is only a block
"G'wan'" said the servant girl Casey
was only telling me that German camels
had one hump and some two. and l was
asking him how II was
And here is a camel that will have
three humps if the roundsman catches
him here said Casey
He hurried down the street about a
hundred feet and then stood staring at
the fourth floor window OF a corset fac
tory on the opposite side. He was ire
mendously busy when the roundsman
came up and said:
What is wrong. Casey
Il thought l saw the reflection OF flames
UP there. sir. but ! guess I was de-
What you saw said the sergeant i'll
a sneer.ng way. was the buttermik in
Your brains, Don't See i: ANYMORE,
out of your months larry"
No, sir. won't see it. was the hum
hle reply.
We had walked along in silence tul
five minutes when I asked:
Mr.. Casey. YOU have been in pos
ton to render the public many services
Have You found the people grateful
Well. was the answer. you just saw
and heard nne sample OF human graf
tude. y have experienced it.
II Struck me that The roundsman was
a hit down on YOU.
And for why. sir" Because this Very
morning he borrowed SO OF me that he
might he heeled TO attend a poker party
which takes place after midnight tonight
III lend II to him. of course. and must
eat free lunches the rest Of the month
To paw for it
But 1 don't understand" I said
oh. it's dead easy. He don't intend
to pay the money back. win or lose. and
don't want me to ask for it. He is there
fore throwing scare into me. II I
have the cheek 70 ask for the loan he
will make some charge against me
Therefore. ! am ten dollars out
But give me another case. Mr.. Casey
There was a woman coming down the
street leading puddle by the chain.
and Casey gave ME nudge in the Tbs
and whispered.
Back out to the curbstone With me
and take off YOUR hat when do Their
comes the wife OF the man who runs
the Nineteenth ward. de Is a rIch brew
81 and he has got sucn a pull that even
;he mayor and the police commissioner
are afraid of him I think that the gov
Crnor Consults him before making some
"f his appointments.
As the woman came along she stopped
before Casey. and looked him from top
70 toe with contempt and said IN s-ecr-
ir- way
On. its YOU is it,
lat came off
But they told ne that You were
bounced for good e
The fined me twenty dara' nav.
mann.
They ,uEht +" have don. iratt.r than
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08

! derlng. When the clock struck u. he
said:
III he hanged II I'll wait any longer
for her III go to bed. This thing will
have to be explained in the morning.
II might have been an hour after mid.
night. or il might have bccn an hour be.
fore dayoreak. that Mrs. Bowser came
home M. Bowser never knew. He was
asleep and dreaming that Mrs. Bowser
had rIn away with a fruit peddler. As
for the explanation. none was asked for
She hadn't asked for one, and how could
he? 1t was what they call strained rel
IL "rIed there.
Dinner time and Mr.. Bowser came
again At the Office durin-; the day he
hadn't grinned nor chucked a single
time. hut instead had carried a very
sober face. At home. the cook had start
Bowser. but all the reply she received
was a wink OF something that might be
taken for a wink. The cook knew that a
wink signifies IL is all right, you
There wasn't much conversation at the
dinner table. There was too much hurry
for that.
Both finished their meal at the same
time
Both went up stairs at the same time.
Both were ready to go out Al the same
time. but Mrs Bowser drew back and
waited for five minutes. Mr.. Bowser
'"
ter behind a shade tree. Mrs. Bowser
passed out OF tine back door and the al
ley gate and Mr.. Bowser therefore
missed SEEING her. After waiting for
a while he started out for a walk. and
at the end of five blocks he came face to
face with her. She was strolling and
enjoying the evening air.
Both stopped but not a word passed
for full minute. Then they started for
home. arm in arm. When they had
reached the privacy of the sittinG-room
Mr.. Bowser turned on her and said:
Mrs. Bowser, I have the right to ask
where YOU go at night?
SO have L. she retorted.
Must a husband explain every little
thing to his wife
Must wife explain every little thing
to her husband?
And they looked at each other and be-
gan TO grin and IN a few seconds the
grin was laugh.
Il shall be home tomorrow night" said
Mr. Bowser.
SO shall l. replied Mrs. Bowser.
And if the reader calls any evening
hour up TO II o'clock he will find them
both there and seemingly very content.
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08
UNCLE SHAS, HE SAYS

cannot wash for Mrs Brown today and
thereby earn her usual dollar.
We are commanded to bring up a child
in the way he should go but the trouble
is after ones uncles. aunts. cousins and
neishbors get through advising. most any
old way is the way taken by the child's
parents.
The mule doesn't kick because he is
vicious. but because he is afraid the own
er will kick first, and IL there is any
kicking to he done he wants to get the
advantage.
There is said to be on the statute books
of every State in the Union from 100 to
800 laws that are never enforced. but
they are allowed to stand that shyster
lawyers may put on airs of more import
ance.
1t is said that buck-saw had been in
vented that will run itself, and cut two
cords OF wood an hour all day long
However, the only man who has had a
good word for il up to the present time
is the tramp. II let him out
Charity begins at home" That Is the
reason II costs * cents to distribute the
charity organizations of New York City.
It is said that every farmer in the
kicking wife, and yet most Of them COM
plain that their lot Is not a happy one.
II seems impossible to have things just
right in this world of ours. The man
who has never had corns on his feet has
had a score Of boils on his neck
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08
He Wasn't Fixed.

Our trunks had peen burned with the
car, and when We got to Cincinnati an
Official Of the railroad Company desired
each one of US to give him our state
ments Of loss. A tall and solemn-looking
man came TO me as / was figuring and
wanted 20 know what sum I was going
to name"
well, I think nv loss is at least $50"
/ reriied. Was your trunk burned too"
Got your loss figured up?'
Not yet; and ! wanted to ask you
about it.. Can I talk to you in conf
dence?"
Certainly
We'll. I don't suppose my THINKS were
actually worth over 81. but"
But you would like to get S5o?''
That's II exactly. The railroad folks
seem willing to pay whatever 10 asked"
We'll. then. why not make 1t SSo?"
Wouldn't 1t be cheating?''
That's matter you must settle with
your own conscience"
Yes. l know 1t is. and COL darn my
buttons II I don't hope that somebody
would kick me al over this town"
why. what's the matter"
Matter Why. instead of being ready
to scoop this railroad out Of so or so
I've get to take 80 or ~. i've been
studying TO be . preacher for the last
six months, and blast my old hat II I
dest to tell EN- q lie. That's allus the
way Of II. I'm never dxed 10 hit any.
thing good which COMES alougt"
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08

Bowser opened the door wide enough tc
Peek out and see which way he went
and as she closed it. she said
Mr.. Bowser has taken a new tack.
see. Very we'll. I'll make HIM sick OF
II in less than a week. or my name is not
Sarah Bowser"
To give the new experiment a thorough
trial Mr.. Bowser remained at the club
until o clock in the morning. He sure
~ expected a row when he reached
home. but there was no row. Mrs Bow
ser had left light for him. and had
been asleep for two or three hours She
did not awaken when he came upstairs.
though he purposely made considerable
of a racket.
Nothing about the matter was said at
breakfast. and he went away with feel
ing that somehow or other he had not
gained such a great victory after all.
When he came home at night. nc was
still carrying that gulf between them.
At the dinner table she remarked that it
had been fine day. and he agreed with
her. 4
Then he remarked that PORK chops, had
gone up two cents more a pound. and she
replied that II was perfectly awful.
He might have noticed that she was
hurrying her dinner bit. but he didn't
He was therefore little surprised when
she asked to be excused and left the
stairs. He didn't find her on the lounge
with a headache as he had expected to
AS he stood looking around the room
she lame down stairs iully dressed. and
after telling him to charge the cook to
see that the kitchen door was locked
when she went TO bed. she passed down
the hall and the front door closed after
her. She was going out. hut where?
BY links, but that's COOL" said Mr.
Bowser as he looked after her ''Mebbe
she's heard the story of Bebee. the
BOBBY, and is going to try my little game
herself
After about ten minutes he left the
house for the Dominoe Club but after
playing three or four games. and losing
every one. owing to his abstraction of
mind: he started for home. He hoped to
hnd Mrs. Bowser there. Vain hope. She
had not returned. The cook was lust GO
ing up to bed, and Mr.. Bowser asked:
Did YOU know that Mrs. Bowser was
going out this evening"
No more than knew you we're going
out last night" was the rather impudent
answer.
rs there a church festival?" he con-
tinued.
Not that know Of, sir
is any one in the neighborhood sick
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08
TEN MINUTES IN KENTUCKY

1t was town meeting day in Kentucky
town. and the old man Bigelow sat on a
barrel of whisky in Graham's grocery
store as his son Bill came in. The poll.
teal contest was close. and there was
much excitement over the chances of the
candidates.
How is she goin', Bill?" asked the
old man as Bill approached.
Say. pop" replied Bill. I've dun for
got"
What hev you all dun forgot?'
Which is our man.
You hev? you dod-gasted varmint.
you. but hewitt bin hollerin' fur Kur-
mel Thomas for these yere six weeks
back?'
1T is Kurnel Thomas. eh, pop"
OF course 1t is
And it hain't Kurnel Renfrew?"
- course 1t hain't. Now. then. what
I've dun got in fo'teen Niger votes
for Kurnel Renfrew." gasped Bill. as
he turned white and clutched at the bar
You spliced-livered reptile. but
The old man choked and could say no
more. After a minute he shook himself
together. and. dropping OF the barrel he
pulled his gun and made for the door.
Hold on, Bigelow." shouted some
body. and he turned In the door and an
Back in ten minutes. I've. got to
shoot hfte>a Republican niggers to even
up this yere contest fur Kurnei Thomas.
GU all pound Bill to death with blad-
dsr while I'm gone"
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08

walking along here looking for your lars.
est onions when he will step into the
trap. and-whoop. the jaws will spring
may pull his leg of but they can't pull
1t out OF the trap. II he hollers like a
frightened boy. you had better get VI
and come over to the house and tell me. =
The night passed away without an
alarm. The widow was an early riser
and she was up this morning betimes
AS she had heard nothing. great was her
garden, to find a man in the trap. He
was sitting down, but he did not look
very comfortable. He had familiar
look to her, as she stood In the door, and
on going closer she was forced to gasp
why. Mr.. snider. this can't be you?'
Yes. 1t is me" he replied. with a sick
ly grin on his face.
But set this trap for a thief"
Yes. widow. was going to tell you
But why-why-why-"
You mean why did your trap catch
me instead Of him? It's because he
didn't show up and did. I was waiting
But you didn't holler:" protested the
Y was ashamed to-" he replied.
How long have you been here?'
About five hours, I guess"
Mercy on me! You must have been in
pain all the time::''
why, yes. kinder pain
I'll run for the blacksmith and have
him let you loose in a Jiffy. Oh. Mr..
Snider why on earth didn't you holler."
Josiah stopped her going. He had been
caught in a trap and he realized that the
gossip about II would never end With
he help Of q beanpole. and the widow. he
managed to pry open the Jaws Of the
trap far enough to get ms leg out. Then.
while leaning his weight on the woman.
he was helped into the house. His leg
was badly swollen and needed attention
at once. His trouser leg was cut of and
the limb bathed and rubbed and nursed
for two long hours before he thought he
could make his way home across the
fields. It was while the severed trouser-
leg was being basted on. to hide his
shank while going home that he found
himself saying to the widow:
II know you didn't set out to trap me,
you be my wifer'
why. Josiah, you never stammered."
softly exclaimed the widow.
$50 you expected me tor" he asked
II don't know whether did or not.
Never mind what you had heard" he
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08
A HAPPY HIT
1t Beats the Bogardus Kicker.

plosion Circulars containing all other
particulars sent free on application.
As some Of the guests s, invited to wit Wit
er doubtful of its effects on Weary
Willy" Mr.. McFarlane attached to the
bell handle of the basement door a wire
We went into ambush to see what would
happen. In about FIVE minutes triple
plated old vag came sauntering down
from the corner and leaned against the
fence and looked the house over and
unused to himself:
This house looks good to me: I think
1t is occupied BY large and liberal
minded family who feels for the misfor-
tunes of others. AS am child of mis-
fortune. I think the cook at least will
feel for me-
So saying. and with anticipation in his
eye and confidence in his rnien. he opened
and reached out and gave 1t a hearty
yank.
weary meant to let go after that
one yank in order to state to the cook
that food had not passed his mouth in
two or three days or longer. But he
didn't let so. He couldn't. He found
himself as fast to that handle as If he
had been nailed there. and in tones of
mingled establishment and alarm he cried
out:
Whoa, Emma. What in the devil is
He wrenched and twisted. He danced
up and down. A sensation he had never
experienced before in his weary life was
passing from the broken crown Of his hat
20 the soles of his gaping shoes.
Help, Help" he cried like man
sliding down the roof of the city hall.
and realizing that the coroner would only
find a grease-spot on the pavement be-
low
Was there help for weary?
The umbrella member, the fruit ped
dler and a man with silver polish to sell.
who came rushing into the yard, had
about decided that the old bum had met
his doom at last. when Mr.. McFarlsne
turned switch and there was an in
slant change. The captive was released
and given a kick which sent him to the
fence and over II like kangaroo.
BY thunder exclaimed the trio who
had rushed to the rescue.
Did you wish to do any business with
me-" softly asked Mr.. McFarlane as he
appeared on the front steps.
No. sir, No. sir, exclaimed the bum
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08

! was not so fatally injured that he
/ could not limp into the house and
"Mary, that new COW has-hss-
! Has. kicked you. Josiah" she fin
kick back when a COW kicks you.
! You take one of the others and l will
milk this one
] If Josiah was driving to town. or hoeinc
, corn ALONGSIDE OF another man. he could
! talk about the weather. politics. religion
! or Anything else without a stamncr. but
let something happen to excite him and
/ he was off his perch at once. This was
| not to he laid up against him; it was
simply inconvenient for him. One day
when he was in his potato field. he saw a
| hlacksnake about five feet long. The
the nan. but Josiah gave a shout and
ran a mile and a half to ring the fire
bell Wien the crowd. which came out
! in response. asked him where the fire
There is no fire. It's the gol darndest
biggest; savagest whopper of a black
bla ck-black-"
And it took ten minutes for him to ex-
plain. and by that time the snake had
had time to get into the next county.
When Josiah Snider was introduced to
the widow Oliver, II did not take him
two minutes to make UP his mind that
she should be his second wife. He md
not get excited over IL, and therefore did
no stammering. He knew his failing and
therefore kept himself well in hand.
Presently he went counting. No excite
ment-no stammering. The widow had
heard that he stammered. and was sur
prised that the report was untrue.
Although Josiah reasoned that he must
be cool. he couldn't help being nervous
as he looked forward. There would come
a time when he must ask the widow Oil
yer an important question Would he
dier the price Of a milk pan. or would he
go all to pieces as he did on a previous
occasion This question worried him for
many a long month. and at length the
time drew near when he must face IL.
One night in going home from the
widows. at a rather late hour. he caught
sight Of man In her garden. He was
surprised, but he did not investigate.
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08
A CURE FOR STAMNERLNG

Josiah SnIder was wldower. Il wears
old The only thing about him that diff
f-rcd from a hundred men around him
was the fact that he stammered II was
only when he was excited. However. and
a great many persons nad never heard
him stammeT
Josiah stammered when he asked his
first wife to marry him. He had been
counting ciri for wear. ami was pref
~ certain that she woulG say Yes" but
when the crucial moment Came-when ne
took her hand in his-when he looked his
love into her eyes his courage received
q chill
Mary" he said. will you be-be-
He stopped there and could not so
ahead He was looking for his hat to
leave the house when Mary. who was
good s!rl and understood the situation.
Yes. Josiah. l will marry YOU and
make you a good wife We will be mar
riCd in about two Aweeks. If you want
Three or four times. during his ten
years of married life. Josiah stammerei
again. Once. when he stood at the gate
past he ran into the house and ex-
claimed
I'm be. gal darned. Mary. if a mad
mad-mad-''
OF course. he meant mad dog and
Mary supplied the words and patted him
ON the shoulder. and told him that IL he
stayed indoors the rest OF the day. no
mad dog would bite him.
Again. when he had been missing tor
two hours and the wife had blown a din
ner horn in vain, she happened 10 think
OF the well She at once made an in
vestiga ton. and there was Josiah stand
ing in cold water up to his neck He
didn't say much when hoisted up. He
couldn't. His teeth chartered too much
All he got out was
Il was drawing water and leaning too
far over the-the-the-
Nav knew that he meant curb and
she supplied the word, and Josiah went
in and changed his soppins clothes
One time. when Josiah sat down to
milk a COW he had just bought she
had objected to the Arrangement and
kicked him on the milk-stool He
The Washington herald., 1915-08-08
BOWSER RUNS OUT NIGHTS
But Mrs. Bouuser Puts a Stop to It,

! 1t so happened that four men. all
known to each other. and to Mr.. Bow
ser. gathered in his Office the other after
noon. After some general talk, one of
the men said:
1T was funny about Bebee. wasn't it,
What was it," was asked
Why, he started for his lodge the
other night. and Mrs. Bebee followed
him: and he had to go back home with
her"
"Humph: I'd like to see my wife play
such a trick on me-
SO would L.
And l."
ever since his marriage. That is, he has
never gone out OF an evening without
telling his wife where he was going and
about what time he would be home.
the other evening she thought something
awful was about to happen"
L began married life." said Saunders.
by going and coming as pleased. For
wanted to know all about it. but after
that l got her into training. / simply
get ready and go when I want to go and
she asks no questions. Sometimes I get
home at 10 o'clock and sometimes not I'M
til in the morning but no questions are
asked and no row raised. She quickly
that the fewer questions she asked the
fewer lies / would tell her. If l mad
been in Bebee's place / should have gent
ly lifted her over the first fence and gone
along 10 my lodge"
When the quartet had gone, Mr. Bow
ser had some thinking to do. and soon
exclaimed to himself:
BY thunder, l am like Bebee. l have
never yet gone out of night without
Mrs. BowSer asking a dozen questions.
! can't 90 out to play a game OF bowls
or dominoes or to smoke a cigar with an
old crony but II is:
Mr.. Bowser. are you going out this
evening
II thought 1 would
Where are YOU goins?"
To the bowling club. l guess
Where is it,
Oh. about four blocks away
But what is the street and number"
II is pa Franklin street.
And you are going to go straight
there?
Yes
And come home about 10 o'clock
And then she looks at me as if she
would read my guilty heart and l can
see great chunks of doubt in either eye.
Ii so out, can't bowl for chucks. and
If | stay home / am mad all the evening.
Yes. I have been as much booty as
Bebee is. but by the great horn spoon.
will be BOBBY no longer. II I cannot
run myself. Mrs. Bowser shall not run
me-
Several times during the day Mr.. Bow
ser thought of the situation and each !
time he did he brought his FIST down II
his knee and very nearly shouted:
No. by John, she shall not
When Mr. Bowser came home to din T,
ner that evening he was rather bland (
and smiling. but at the same time he hac
way about him meant to show her that :
wife but there was a gulf between them. !
Of course. Mrs. Bowser was quick to
notice tho change. but she made no re- !
marks calculated to draw him out. Mr.. !