The Washington herald., 1915-12-26

II.
yesterday. I like old Mr.. Snider be-
cause we knew each other In Ger,
many and we was both sent 10 Iail
together but he vhas a great bore hs
comes in when / vhas very busy und
he talks, talks. talks until ! hke 70
have some lightning strike der puiid-
ing and scare him avhay, but there
was no such good luck. 20 de,
shelf on which i keep der water-Gan,
and lifts 1t oop and smells IL. Den
he lasts il. Den he turns to me and
says .u ,h,s,-
oh. ! thought u yhas ammonia
und / like to take big drink: Dat
vhas some more disappointmehts ioi
"Mr. Snider. it vhas too bad. II j
knows you vhas coming In mere To-
day, ! haf you drink all ready
He sits down and says nottings lot
five or six minutes. Den he heaves
great sigh und says:
Hans. do you know dot dis vhas
sad. sad world:"
wherever l go find nottings yhas
like II should be. Der odder day l go
up Flatbush way. I vhas walking along
when l see a sign out billiard Han;
like to play some billiards vhen
yhas not in hurry. Und so i goes In
and says to der man:
Il can beat anybody in this town at
a game of billiards for a dollar. BRING
You like to play some billiards
eh?" asked.the man.
You bet"
Dis vhas a pool room und | don't keep
some billiards"
But your sign says you do"
But your sign vhas painted by SONG
fix il. 60 along. my frendt. and don't
kick over a lettIe thing like dat vhas.
I know a women's who has lost three
husbands in taking subways und she
don't make one single complaint.
Il vhent out und oop the street,
und pretty soon | came to place
where a new building vhas going oop;
Der yhas a sign of Danger. but l
minute. a piece of brick fell down
upon my head. 1t broke my hat und
gave me "A bad hurt. Some folks ran
oOp to me und a policemans says:
old mans, don't you see that sign
of danger
"Of course" l replied.
Den Why do you keep on?
Because I don't know where der
Maybe ii vhas danger from an auto.
Urd maype it vhas danger from some
bricks. Why don't you make II plain
Der peoples all laugh und l goes
on. BY und by. 4 man stops me und
asks II | knows where Doctor Brown :
office is. | did. | belief his childs had
swallowed spool of thread und he
must fnd Doctor Brown at once or
death vhill come. | goes out of my
road two blocks to show him Doctor
Browns office. Der doctor vhas stand
ing in der door und der mans pulls a
bill for "A ton of coal und hands II
TO him as cool as ice. He says he
Vhas very much Obliged to me. but his
wife don't swallow a spool OF thread
NOr fall on hot stove. Don't II ma k 9
yCu mad to see soOCh things. Hans;
Uhas hnSV work dot
! don't answer him und pretty soon
he speaks up again und SAYS:
One day when | vhas taking walk
on Fulton street | sees a painter on a
ladder at work on der front of store
On der ladder vhas 2 sign of Take
Care / don't like dot painter to fall
urd break some bones. So ! goes out
into der street to pass him by.
vhas shust going to step on der side
walk. when cab came und knocks
me down"
"Hf-hi, What YOU doing in der
street" calls the driver to me
- vhas taking care" says.
The devil you vhas." said the man
as he drove off.
Hans. vhas | fool? Don't dot take
care mean that | shouldn't run agin
the ladder? Don't it mean dot | shall
walk softly out in der street und not
make dot painters wife a poor widow
womaus?
You know it does. you old hyena
YOU" saws Mr. Snider. 'und den he
shuts oop for about five minutes. /
vhas in hopes he got out but he hangs
OF und says:
II vhas on a Smith street trolley car
und I likes to get off at Pacific street
/ got out on der platform und gives
der conductor nod. He don't stop
der car und | shumps of Uud lands on
my head. He comes und picks me Oop
und says:
What YOU do dot for
because | WANTS to get Off.
"Den Why don't you say So?
But ! gave you nod