davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Answered,

Says the New York Sun: Attention,
philosophers. When and in what peo-
pie was the sense of humor first devel.
oped?"
Luke McLuke will tell you:
Now 1t was the morning of the tenth
day and Adam was glorying in the
strength of his manhood. And he
looked upon the garden and saw that
1t was fair. And he spake unto Eve,
saying: LET US 60 forth and witness
these things that have been created
for us. Let us walk in the garden and
beneath the armament"
And Eve replied unto Adam. saying.
But haven't thing to wear"
And Adam looked upon the vast
orchards of fig trees round about the
garden. And Adam Just LATED and
laffed and laffed.-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
ONE WOMAN
BY HAROLD CARTER.
Copyright, 1915. by ". G. Chapman)

Copyright, 1915. by W. G. Chapman.)
Now that the moment for action had
arrived Jim Corrigan felt his courage
oozing away. All he had to do was to
take the packed suit case that lay un.
derneath his desk, go out of the door,
jump on street car, and make his
way to any railroad depot.
Yet during the three months in
which he had lived in princely style at
the Repington hotel. and spent his
days in the mahogany-furnished Of
fees, sort of attachment to his en-
vironment had grown up in him.
Somehow he had begun to feel sense
of responsibility. He hated to lose
the esteem Of these good people, who
were already thanking him publicly
for the good he had done the town, for
the factory that he was going to start,
who had openly preached his name for
the mayors office.
And there was Delia-delicious
sweet, just the bride for a worthy
man. Della, with her inherited hun
dred thousand dollars, which had not
spoiled her. Della who Enthusiastically
liked him. and had placed her whole
capital in the Red Lion mine.
The man felt the sweat start out on
his forehead.
He opened the door and looked in at
the stenographers room. At once the
young women began hammering hard
er; the bill-folders accumulated their
speed and worked self-consciously.
The eye of their boss was upon them.
And all this was to be shattered like
the crystal Of dream. For Jim Cor
rigan would be an outcast in twenty
minutes.
He had been tipped of that the fed
eral authorities intended to raid his
Office that day. Thousands of worth
less shares had been sold in a worth
less gold mine, which was little more
than hole in the ground. And Delias
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22

! Della" he began, and a footstee
sounded in the passage outside, and
the door was opened.
The federal officer read his recogni.
| ton in Jim's startled look.
You are Mr.. Corrigan. / believer"
he asked, though the formality was
unnecessary. And this lady is-?"
"One of my customers" said Jim,
land not connected with this Office"
Il shall have to ask her to wait a
while all the same" said the man.
Don't be scared, miss; there won't be
nothing done to you, and you're to be
pitied."
What does this all mean" ex-
claimed Della, bewildered.
at means that l am under sus-
picion for fraudulent practices" an
swered Jim bitterly. The government
doesn't believe there is any gold in
the NINE"
But of course there isl" exclaimed
the girl Indignantly. Officer. l am
Miss Della Heming My father was
president Of the national bank here. l
can vouch for Mr.. Corrigan's honor"
The officer, without paying the
slightest attention, began to rummage
among the papers on Jim's desk. The
stenographers and other girls in the
large room adjoining, having got wind
of what has happening, appeared at
the door with frightened faces.
HMr Nnrriuon-Tiv,, ha1s
in you to the last!" cried Della, losing
all self-control. She came up to him
and slipped her hand into his and
stood defiantly beside him.
Jim smiled little wistfully. At
that moment this was the hardest
thing that he had to bear, her trust
fulness. If only he had gone before
she came!
What's this?" queried the officer,
picking up the telegram.
Jim had forgotten Clancy's message.
He groaned as the man deity opened
it. Clancy was always outspoken, and
he was no more careful in his dis
patches. That meant the end Of all, of
Della, Of what shreds of honor he had
hoped to retain after the investiga-
ton.
The officer read the telegram and
laid it down. Jim picked it up and
read: Huge gold deposits discovered
in Red Lion mine. State inspector
notified. Is coming at once to re-ex
anime. Clancy"
The federal officer scratched his
head. my orders are to seal" he
began; and then a second man ap-
peared at the door. He took in the
situation instantly.
Come of, Louis!" he said. "Mr
Corrigan, this is a mistake for which
we owe you good many apologies.
We had information which led US to
believe that-well, anyway, later news
has come which shows US we were
wrong. We had our orders, sir, and
no doubt you'll receive apologies from
the proper quarter. We know your
company is beyond reproach. And I
wish l had few shares in it." he
added.
They were gone. Della was standing
at Jim's side and they had just ex.
changed their first kiss.
"As If you could be dishonest,
dear!" she said softly.
Jim looked at the packed suit case
and WINGED. In another minute that,
too, would have been examined. 1t
would have been harder then. He
knew that the inner shame he felt
must be his punishment for many a
year to come.
But when he looked at Della he
knew that he would be given strength
to bear it..
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22

was shocked He knew his uncle had
not been in very good health for sew
eral years. This, however. was
dreadfully sudden. Selfish, heartless
as he was, Guy was stunned mentally.
Then he rushed down to the cafe OF
the hotel He had refrained from
drink since morning, so that should
his uncle arrive Unexpectedly he
would not trace any sign of liquor.
Now all care went to the winds. OF
course he must go at once to Beacon.
However, no train left until seven
o'clock the next morning. AS he
fired up" a spirit Of exultation pos
sessed him. He knew that Mr.. Ashe
had named him in his will as q chief
beneficiary. Huzza for opulence-
goodby to twisting and turning to pay
his debts!
Half seas over. Guy phoned half q
dozen Of his choicest friends. Birds
Of q feather, they speedily flocked to-
gether.
We'll have one grand jubilee" de-
clared Guy. "In day or two. fellows,
I'll be back here with the Overlooking
money bags of that accommodating
old fossil uncle of mine. who kicked
the bucket just at the right moment
to lift me out Of my money trouble
Good for the old codger!" roared
q strident chorus and Guy Joined in
the toast.
Just as their jollity was at its
highest. a man poked his head In
past the half-open door, unperceived
He saw and listened. appalled,. His
aged face grew abashed. stern, and
then furious He left the corridor and
then the hotel
BARLEY Moore and his wife were
just locking up the house when there
came a ring at the door bell. As
they reached the threshold a quaver.
ing voice articulated.
Don't you know me, Bartley?"
why, It's Uncle William" ex.
claimed his nephew Come in. come
in"
Mr.. Ashe staggered into the coy
parlor and sank to a chair apparently
exhausted.
Give me time" he painted. I'm
crushed! That Guy!" and amid anger
and indignation he gave to BARLEY
an Ineligible clue to the situation.
This is-Laura.' said BARLEY.
Uncle William arose and extended
a trembling hand. His eyes fell upon
that fair face and he put out both
hands-pleadingly, brokenly.
tive come to ind friends" he said.
"Am l welcome?"
She kissed him in reply. She COM
forted him amid his troubles. Not q
word against Guy Wadham-concern.
ing him Mr.. Ashe knew all.
Two days of quiet peace and har-
mony. stern arraignment of the in
crate Guy. who now realized that the
telegram had read died. instead of
did" Uncle William settled down
for life with the fond and loyal friends
he had SO misjudged
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22

~ .SSNSS SsSaeySS &uo NUAtO00s
each a goodly cash present and the
event. at least to BARLEY, was looked
forward to as very pleasant occa-
sion.
Laura looked serious and sad when,
the first Of May, just after their mar
rage. BARLEY saw his uncle pass by
his little home in an automobile with.
out even looking at him. Stiff and
prim the old man sat up in the rear
seat Of the machine, his stern angry
eyes fixed persistently straight ahead
OF him. BARLEY sighed. He had heard
of the ill-timed boasts Of Guy that he
had got on the soft side of the old
money maker" and BARLEY knew that
Guy. with his covert sneers to grace
less companions concerning his bene-
factor and his general dissolute
career, made him unworthy of the
favors Mr.. Ashe bestowed upon him.
Now the second visit of Mr.. Ashe
was anticipated along the last days of
October Always when the time came
around Laura looked sad and wor-
ried
1T makes me feel as though I had
been a hindrance to your prospects,
Barley" she said.
What! with all this happiness and
prosperity surrounding us?" chal.
lenged BARLEY. proud of wife. garden
and his modest salary as an architec-
tural craftsman. why, my dear, the
, world is ours!"
At that same moment Guy Wadham
was seated in his room at the town
hotel. He looked blear-eyed and
anxious as he bent over a heap of
documents and account books. Guy
was recovering from one of his period
ical drinking bouts. A letter from his
uncle had checked him up short. Mr..
Ashe had written from q place called
Beacon, saying that he would leave
there Tuesday evening and after q
brief stop at his home would come on
to Linden. Therefore he might pop
In on Guy at any moment.
What worried Guy was that he
I, might not have time to doctor up his
accounts. 80 as to present the usual
plausible showing Of profits with
which he usually succeeded in pull.
ing the wool over the eyes of the
credulous old fellow"
Hell get here before I am in trim
for q showdown" muttered Guy. "Ii
he left Beacon last night, as he wrote
l may expect him here any hour. II
l 4, - IA
four hours more Of leeway for me. "
Guy wired to the hotel at Beacon
where he knew his uncle usually put
up making the inquiry: HAS William
Ashe left Beacon?'
1t was five o'clock in the afternoon
when he received the following re
| ply:
/ He died last night"
For few minutes Guy Wadham
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Fascinated BY Model.

The weekly meeting of the Married
l ladies' Society for the Better Control
and Guidance Of Husbands had Just
been called to order by the president.
Members will now tell their trou.
bles. one at time." said the chair.
A meek-looking little woman stood
up in = far corner of the room.
my husband" she quavered, lis in
love with his model"
The buzz Of gossip suddenly ceased,
and all eyes we're turned upon the
speaker.
But your husband Is not an artist" "
argued the president. "He runs an
iron foundry, doesn't he?"
"Yes'm." said the meek lady, but
all the same he loves his model. You
see, he's q self-made man."-Londou
Standard.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Sympathetic.

Never before had Speedlimit expert
enced a breakdown. There he stood,
looking at his motor car with an ex.
preston that typified anger in its most
acute form. In fact. it was only the
presence Of two nicely dressed misses
that prevented him using language
which was not in keeping with the
cold weather
At length, however, his patience
reached the breaking point, and he
asked the girls to run away, as he in
tended to SAY things"
"Oh, fire away" replied one, beam
ing with delight. 'My dadda owns a
motor car, too"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Rouah on His lordshIp.

The verger of the little old country
church was showing a party Of visitors
around.
He pointed out the place where
Cromwell's cannon balls would have
hit the church. only 1t wasn't built
then, and all the usual sights of the
place.
Then they assembled the belfry.
There the verger drew q long
breath, and the visitors crowded
around eagerly. Evidently they were
to see the sight Of sights.
Nov. this ere BELL" said the
verger. proudly: "a bit remarkable
this bell is. 1t is only rung on the
occasion of visit from the lord
bishop, a fire. q flood or any other
such calamity"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22

VI Was Shopping" Continued the Girl.
hundred thousand had gone with the
rest.
The man felt ashamed and humili.
ated.
Il must have got cold feet!" he
jeered, to hearten himself.
A telegraph boy appeared and
placed the yellow envelope upon his
desk. Corrigan did not open it. He
knew Clancy was to warn him when
the police raid was imminent. This
must be the warning He prepared to
60. He stopped for his bag.
Then the door opened and on the
threshold stood the prettiest of young
women. She was simply dressed, but
the furs about her neck were of rich
sable. her bearing, a little imperious,
was softened just now by evident ad-
miration.
Corrigan had given the girl every
reason to believe he loved her, but he
had not asked her to be his wife.
Della had waited, a little curious but
never doubling him.
"Why, Delia!" exclaimed the man.
How do you do, Mr.. Corrigan!"
said the girl, smiling. II haven't come
to trouble you about my money. That
Is safe, know. 1t is as safe as my
faith in you."
Her faith in him" And Clancy
had telegraphed that the state inspec-
tor in the West was to visit the mine
the day before this, and that his dis
covery of the fraud would be followed
by a visit from the federal authorities.
or a sudden panic seized him. He
wanted to get away, before the au.
thorities came down on him.
Il was shopping" continued the girl,
"and mother asked me to get you to
come to dinner tonight. So I Just
looked In"
Yes, I'll come" muttered Corrigan,
conscious that he was speaking alb
ruptly, and seeing the surprised look
on her face. Excuse me-I'm very
busy"
The girl made naughty little bow.
III you are busy, Mr.. Corrigan, CT
course won't detain you any longer.
she said, moving toward the door.
Jim Corrigan forgot everything,
Forgive me-" he pleaded, catching
her hands in his 81 didn't mean that
Della. was troubled was not able
to say that"
Her face softened. Business trou.
bles?" she queried. bordering. 81 am
SO sorry l misunderstood. 1t was
very thoughtless Of me-"
mo, it was-about you," Jim blurt
ed out. And something stronger than
himself took possession of him. He
wanted to tell her everything, includ
ing his love, to ask for forgiveness
and to restore what he was able. The
girl, seeing his emotion, waited till bs
could control himself.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
The Greatest River.

The Amazon is the worlds greatest
river. The Nile. Mississippi and
Gauges are mighty streams, but in
length, probably. and in breadth,
depth, volume of water and reach Of
clear sailing the South American river
leads them all
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Grows on Telegraph WIres.

Thers b . form Of plant which
grows on telegraph wires. 1t has no
roots. but derives its nourishment
from the air. and prefers electric
wires to the nourishing earth. The
seed Of the plant-which when fully
grown resembles an orchids carried
70 the wires by birds and insects.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
New Remedy for Frozen Limb,

In the French army hospitals ultra
violet rays are being used in the treat.
ment OF frozen limbs. The results are
very good. particularly where ulcera-
ton has set in. In one case the pain
was arrested by the ninth or tenth
application of the rays and the SWELL
ing subsidized the following day.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Ie0al holldaya

The general (presidential) election
Is a legal holiday in all the states
except Alabama. Arkansas, Connect
cut. Delaware. Georgia, Maine, Massa-
chusetts, Mississippi. Nebraska, North
Carolina, Utah. Vermont, Ohio. Kan
sas and West vi, $50
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Flour 70 Extlnaulah Fire.

II should be a matter OF common
knowledge. since -four is always with
In convenient reach. that wheat -four
Is the best extinguisher to throw over
fire caused by the spilling and ignit-
ing of kerosene.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Booked Ahead,

Nov that your son Is through col.
lege. what are you going to make Of
him." Cant tell for a couple of
years. He went to a coed institution.
and he's booked up for two years
solid to act as an usher at weddings
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Phoebe's Only Chance,

Cats 1t . cat show are not scored
O their rat catching records; there
fore II would be of no use to enter
Phoebe. She'll have to be shown In
. steel and wire trap exhibition
Toledo Daily Blade.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Daily nhouoht

Nnetenths Of the good that 10 done
iA the world IL the result not o, laws,
however wise. or OF resolutions how
ever strong. but of the personal infiu-
ence Of individual men and ~omen.-
Sir Samuel Chisholm.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Universal Deatre

To be happy at home is the ultimate
result Of all ambition, the end to which
every enterprise and labor tends and
OF which every desire prompts the
prosecution.-Samuel Johnson,
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Credit Belonos r. l.her.

n We rightly estimate things. what
n them 10 purely owing to nature and
what to labor. we shall find that nine
C-nine parts Of hundred are wholly
to be put q n the account Of the labor.
Locke.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Measure Of Haoplness

A woman is happy when she thinks
she is better looking than the lady
cashier at the downtown cafe where
her husband gets his lunches.-Port-
land Telegram.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Yea. NVhv9

Why Is Il that the last words of the
s.eat are SO much wiser than any they
change.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
Immune From Many Diseases.

Men attending the pans In salt
works are generally supposed to BE-
exempt from cholera. smallpox, scar
let fever and Influenza.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-06-22
FATE At THE WHEEL
BY BARBARA coLvIN.

copyright, 1915. by the Mcclure Newsps'
per Syndicate)
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1915-05-08
MAKING WILL0UGHBY LAKE
RESORT SAFE,

A large landslide on the Mount Pisgal
side of Willoughby lake last week did
considerable damage TO the roadway
which runs along the base of the cliff
and the shore OF the lake. one boulder
estimated TO weigh well toward 20 tons
being left in the highway, while the
other chunks tore their way a little fur.
Their into the lake. The landslides are
said to be annual occurrences on that
side of the lake in the spring season.
This slide must have loosened other
blocks of great weight on the precipi-
tous side Of Mount Pisgah. and, such
being the case, those loosened rocks will
remain menace during the summer
months when q large number Of people
are wont 20 gather on the shore Of the
lake or 10 pass along the narrow high
way between the mountain and the lake.
A heavy rain might still further weak
on their balance. or the weight Of the
rocks themselves might be sufficient 70
send them oatapulting down the side Of
Che cliff, tearing deep holes and crush
ing any living thing that happened 20
h. in their path. An automobile might
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1915-05-08
AIDING THE POLISH.

Throughout New England, Polish peo'
pie are raising money for the support OF
their destitute countrymen in the cen
ter of the war district between Germany
and Russia; and in one city alone, Low.
ell, Mass, they already have raised ST.
SEQ for the relief work. 1t is to be
hoped that the Polish people have n
guarantee that the money thus raised
will reach its intended destination and
that not one cent OF il will be spent
otherwise except 10 aid in its transmits.
sion to the suffering people of Poland.
We presume that there is an authorized
Polish relief association which has the
distribution in charge and that this as
ISOLATION viii see TO il that the money
raised in New England viii be well
spent. In times past money has been
raised for the relief Of suffering in far
Of foreign lands, and there has been
grave doubt whether all Of the money
thus subscribed reached the destination
for which il was intended. In many
cases the subscribers were credulous peo.
pie, As well as sympathetic, and they
reposcd fun confidence IN those who
made the collections Such credulity
makes an easy opportunity for those
who are unscrupulously inclined. Money
raised now for Polish relief ought not
20 be- entrusted 10 any association un-
less that association il found 10 be thor.
oughlv responsible and reliable. The 4
subscribers through competent investi- /
gators ought to demand the proper Gre
dentials from any collecting agency.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1915-05-08
Fancied Troubles.

! Once more we find the advance of our
boosted western civilization crowding
upon the heel-marks made by China
progress some thousands OF years ago
| For the first time in the history Of Har.
ward a physical examination of the en-,
tire freshman class has been completed
Chinese custom OF ages, TO pay the ply
stefan regularly so long as the patient
remains well, and TO cease payment upon
the supervention of illness.
DIR. Roger |. Lee, the new professor of
hygiene, found some cheerful facts in
the condition of the boys of 10. OF the
662 "men," only II had the symptoms
OF ineipient tuberculosis decided drop
from the day, only a few years since,
when il was said that 80 per cent of New
Englanders had more or less of the dread
white plague in their symptoms. The
general impression gained by the doctor,
indeed. was that he had found n re-
markably healthy, wholesome group OF
young men.
The first purpose OF the examination
was, OF course. to detect unsuspected
cases Of disease. Oddly enough. there
were fewer boys who thought they were
perfectly well, but who had disease.
than there were of bows who fsncied
themselves suffering from some organic
trouble-most commonly Of the heart
but who were found entirely sound.
IL j. the commonest of observations
that the young are apt TO fancy them
selves diseased. especially as they come
TO learn something Of the existence and
danger Of disease Most medical stu.
dents develop all the symptoms OF &c
p" as general paralysis is affectionate-
" called in the schools. as soon as they |
learn what those symptoms are.
As 10 "freshman's heart disease the |
boy who hasn't experienced IL must have
grown up in a town where there were
no attractive girls.
In many instances the hoys exam
med were worrying over faneied ailments,
purely imaginary. Of course but wear. 4
ng upon their minds 20 such an extent 4
,s to have a measurable effect upon |
their general condition DR.. lee does
iot say whether this is 20 h. taken AZ
evidence Of the power Of mind over
natter. or Of the influence Of matter
IN mind. But the examination il az any /
ate the simplest and most obviously |
desirable cure.--B oston Globe.