davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
TRADEMARKS
BY HELEN GooDE.

mo, sir, l amt the sort of man to
do things by halves" said Alpheus
T. Jumper When l ordered this here
mansion built l told the architect,
None Of your one-man styles for me.
I'm going to have a bit of everything.
Gothic and Renaissance, and Colo
NAL porch and a Jacob bathroom, and
a Elizabethan furnace. That's the
sort of man am
Now, ! put it up to you. / want
my mansion furnished proper. don't
care what it costs me, but I'm going
to have bit of everything, to show
I'm up to date. Now, I've got list
Of the styles l want. First, the
chairs. Them's going to be Louis
Quinze. The tables will be Louis Seize
The rockers will be Sheraton. The
beds will be Adam. The bookshelves
will be mission. See?"
The furniture dealer saw He saw
about twelve thousand dollars of solid
profit for him, and he resolved not t.
be baked.
"All right. Mr.. Jumper" he an
swered. Il guess we won't have an!
trouble in fixing you up"
Mind you don't" growled the mil
lionaire, who had recently built
house in the town. Il warn you RICH
now, everythings got to be genuine
See?"
The furniture dealer retired to sc
liloquize over the situation. FINAL
he arranged with Mr.. Jumper, at tn
latter's suggestion, that Jumper shoul
call at his store and inspect the goods
The assortment of gimcracks tha
the furniture man proposed to pail
off on Mr.. Jumper would beggar d.
scription. 1t would not have deceive
anybody with half an eye and quartz
of brain, but the dealer shrewdl
surmised that Mr.. Jumpers brusQu
ness hid a deep gullibility. Alphe'
T. Jumper had appeared from Il
West-somewhere in Michigan, it Wi
believed-and he had plans Of spen
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27

ing his declining years in the home
as he said-of his boyhood days.
The dealers anticipated profit had
already leaped up to fifteen thousand
on sixteen thousand-dollar deal when
Mr.. Jumper appeared.
Fakes, every one of EN-" he an
nounced curtly.
The dealer was greatly wounded.
Il assure you are mistaken. sir"
he replied. Il have been particularly
careful to instruct my agents to in
quire scrupulously into the history OF
every piece before I purchased It.
II you reject this lot. sir, 1t will beg
gar me-"
How do you know your agents are
speaking the TRUTH" demanded Mr..
Jumper.
why, Mr.. Jumper! They are all
men of strictest integrity, mainly sons
of the impoverished nobility OF France.
who have ransacked their districts for
Just such ancient pieces as these. :
Ancient" snorted Mr.. Jumper. do
YOU suppose | mean to buy furniture
that's old? How do ! know that
somebody amt sat down on them
Louis Quinze chairs before me?"
only kings, sir"
We'll. | don't hold by kings re-
piled the millionaire. You got to
prove them things is what you claim
EN- to be-" So saying, he walked out
of the store.
Fifteen thousand profit meant a
good deal to the seller That night
he telephoned to Mr.. Jumper.
Il have summoned all my agents
home by wire. They are bringing the
makers, he announced. THE cost
will almost beggar me, and l would
rather be beggared to prove my honor
than make a modest profit and be
thought rogue.
You bring them makers to swear
to their goods, and I'll pay their trav.
cling expenses, replied the rich man.
And the dealers despair changed to
citation. as he saw his $4,000 of profit
double at a bound.
Il was exactly two weeks later when
a procession of economically dressed
gentlemen called on the millionaire,
The dealer, who was at their head
ushered them into Mr. Jumpers com
pleted but empty library.
This, sir, is Mr.. Louis Ounce he
said, introducing poetical.looking old
/ man, with flowing ringlets white as
silver
pleased to meet you, Mr.. Quinze.
said Mr.. Jumper. How about them
chairs?'
Made in my workshop in the Rue
boulevard. under my personal super
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
That TeIe-
phone Pole
By Clara lr1ez De0cos,

Copyright 1919. by Associated Literary
Press.)
Little Nell Adams, as most of her
friends called her, had been invited
to spend couple of weeks with her
old nurse in the country, and she had
arrived In the midst Of trouble and
lamentation. Mrs. Culver, the old
nurse, was laid up with a sprained
ankle; one Of the pigs had just gone
crazy and would surely die; hawk
had descended on the big rooster and
borne him away. and the suburban
telephone company was getting ready
to plant one of its poles in front OF
the gate. Mr.. Culver was a quiet,
humble man, and they had bluffed
him. 1t was while she was out In the
road "sassing' the workmen for the
company that the wife turned her
ankle.
Little Nell listened to the tale Of
trouble. and then with her chin in the
air and her eyes flashing she asked
Of the husband:
"Are you man or q mouse?"
"But they've got the law on their
side," he protested.
'And Aunt Joe has got me on her
side It's good thing I came. They
don't plant a pole in front of this
gate! How many of the company's
men are there?"
"A big dozen"
"Humph! Only that many? Why
l can sass twenty at once!"
"Of course she can, the little dear,
observed the wife. Look how hel
brown eyes are turning black and the
color coming to cheeks! Oh, | needed
her! I've got husband that dasn'i
| speak above whisper, but wait til
the dear child gets to talking! Why
she was scarcely an hour old wheI
she was telling the doctor what wa!
what! She'll never let 'em put tina
pole up"
Il saw that they had dug the hol'
for it."
"And this afternoon the pole will
be up" added the husband.
We'll see about that!" said tn
girl as she tossed her head. "Yo'
leave it to me and don't mix in. Uncl
Jim. you simply keep watch and lie
me know when they are coming
Aunt Joe, you sit still and let tina
ankle get we'll. Is there gun aroun
the house?"
"Guns and shootings and hang
ings!" groaned the man as he turne
pale.
"You never mind, but hunt up tina
old pistol for the dear, brave child.
thing it's hanging in the woodshet
Yes, hanging in the woodshed, an
you letting folks plant a telephon
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
MInht Haue Been Worse.

Romeo johnson of Indianapolis once
rave this explanation of how he came
by his first name: MY father was
great admirer OF classical acting,
said he, land was an especial aomireI
of Edwin Booth Shortly before l
was born he was in the East and
STAYED over a day TO see Booth In
Romeo and Juliet The impression
was so strong that he named me no
meo. It's a good thing that he iert
when he did. for the performance the
next nIght VAS = 5aaaaea anu va
Iatea
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
w.odIno Ring Always used.

Wedding customs have varied with
changing periods but the wedding ring
has always been used. Its earliest
form was iron. then. In turn, copper.
brass, leather. sedge and adsmant;
and, after this. the precious metals
The first record OF its use Is In Gem
esis 4. The old Gimmal ring was
cunningly fitted In two sections, so
that one went to the bride and the
other to the bridegroom: and It 10
often copied for modern @.sees-
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Wanted 10 Be HospitabIe.

When | went to Paris. relates Gen.
Horace Porter, told my friends that
any OF them who got within a mile
of the embassy must come to see me.
The latchstring, | told them, was OUT
there was always a spare seat in my
pew at church. The latchstring was
often pulled; the seat in church re
NAMED vacant. One OF my friends who
visited me stopped his subscription
TO the Christian Observer. He said
he didn't want any Observers while be
vas in Paris
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
How He Got the Lumps.

Judge-What's this specimen ar
raigned for. Mr.. Officer?
Oficer-He approached me on the
street and be--m abusive because /
wouldn't give him money for some
thing to eat.
Judge-Well, but what about those
Jumps on his head?
Oficer-He wouldn't come along TIL
gave him a club sandwich.-Puck
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Diamond Re- ms luster.

Only the expert Cal tell an limitations
diamond from real stone when the
Imitation is new, but after the rake
stone has been worn for little time
II soon loses its luster. II is this
which makes a real diamond valuable.
No matter how long it is worn 1t VIII
keep its sparkle almost as well az
ever.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Er..h Water Above Salt.

selawik Is a curious lake near the
seacoast of Alaska. I'll es rise and Iaii
ia the lake by reason of an under
ground connection with the sea. A.
the bottom the water is quite SAT-
but at the top is layer of perfectly
fresh water
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Guard Against Infection.

The Argentine national heaitn oe'
partment has posted signs along tne
PRINCIPAL streets Of Buenos Aires ten,
ing what animals and insects should
he avoided to lessen the dangers Oh
infectious diseases.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Hubby Couldn't Lie,

Does your husband ever lie to
you?" Never" How do you know"
HE tells me that do not look day
older than | did when he married me,
and II be doesn't lie about that |
don't think he would about less i'm
portant matters"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Secret Of Good Memory.

The secret of good memory is at
tention, and attention to a subject
depends upon our interest in it We
rarely forget that which has made
q deep impression on our minds
frFoa Edwards.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Iro, in Water Easily Detected.

Half a part In a million OF IRON IN
water is detachable by taste, and four
or five parts make water unpaialapie'
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27

= D. & II. D. MENDENHAL
CIVIL ENGINEERS
mite 2l2-215 Drane BUILDING
LAKELAND, FLA.
osnhate Land Examinations and
o,ant Designs, Earthwork Special
lists, Surveys.
Residence Phone ITS BLACK.
ot,ce Phone 27S Blue.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
The Professions
CHIR0PRACTOR

CHIROPRACTOR
DR.. J. q. SCARBOROUGH,
Lady In Attendance
i. Dyches Building, Between Park
and Auditorium
OFFICE HOURS
11.3O a. N. 1880 to s p. m.
700 to $3.50 p. N.
,s,,tation and Examination Free.
Residence Phone 24o Black
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Peace.

Nothing can bring you peace put
yourself: nothing but the triumph ol
principles.-Emerson.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
n.,.l. al the Bicycle.

origin Of the Bicycle. s
The modern bicycle seems to nass
had ,ts origin In 1854. P. Fl. F1scneI'
!, mecbanic Of schweinfurt, Germany
sddaa nedal cranks to the veloeipeoe
OMIT independently Ernest Mienauk
hit upon IN, SAFE idea In loos, R srs,
Der tires seem to have oeen ms
.zed in 1855 by NJ. Thevanon OF Lyons
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27
Industry the Best Capital.

I began life with a sixpence. and be-
lieve thai a mans best capital Is bis
industry.-Stephen Girard
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27

mr. SARAH E, WHEELER
OSTEOPATH
.unn Annex. Door South Of First
National Bank
LAKELAND, FLA.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-11-27

ing his declining years in the home
as he said-of his boyhood days.
The dealers anticipated profit had
already leaped up to fifteen thousand
on sixteen thousand-dolla deal when
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02
The Preadamite of ROselle.

Mr.. ALBERT :. DAVIS. Supervising
Principal in the Jersey capital with
the poetical name Of Roselle, must be
a bunker, a reactionary, a preadam
tie. lie actually believes that public
school children should learn to spell.
We may pity II we can't sympathlze
with his pathetic delusion. The wiser
youngsters of to-day have no heart
for that antiQuated accomplishment.
Our interest in Mr.. DAVIS must rest
on his curious failing for photography.
What words are most commonly mis-
spelled? Instead of going to the
books, Mr.. DAVIS has asked business
and professional men to send him
lists Of misspellcd words that turned
up in their daily work; and he has
made catalogue which contains 1851
words. largely of homespun. daily
use. that are often spelled according
to the taste and fancy of the spoilers.
On these Rosellian youth is practis-
ing diligently.
From this beadroll of GEOGRAPHY
we pick out few words so simple
and usual that the mutilation of
them Is cheerful evidence of the ge-
MUS Of correctness that pervades the
public schools:
Much tdoes the ghost OF A. WARD
haunt Union county?l February talmost
universally pronounced "Febuary"l !:
until. getting. truly. all right common
~ spelled alright" We believed; forty,
ninety Unjust take inspiration to get these
wronel piano Though every school,
girl has onel; tariff lin Mr.. WILSON'S
and JIMMY Marines State tool: fruit,
piece. laid seem. often. athletics lgreat
cation"] loss. least. grammar land the
Jerseys infested with grammariansl
it's, its. loose, weather. vegetable TO-
commuters. o. gardens J lose, salary.
blackboard. sure. great, born, bear.
bath lit must take commanding talent
to get that wrongl; title table, label
nurse. welfare"
These words are about as common
as the casing air; and "welfare" is the
shibboleth Of true goodness. Super
vising Principal DAVIS will find Jor'
dan a hard road to travel: and will he
be allowed to travel II long? His low
practical standards invite the wrath
/ Of all the dcvotees Of newfangled
| fripperies and fiubdubs.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02

to achieve full campaign treasury
than Governor " New York state
who in n commission charged with
the regulation Of public service cor
porations Is represented by purely
personal appointec whose principal
qualification for his post Is disclosed
in the highly significant official dec
larniiou that he has been prominent
In Western Republican politics"
TO the objection that the individual
thus described is antipathetic to those
Republicans who regard with aver.
sion the policy vulgarly described as
standpatism the sufficient answer is
that his chief, having already been
kicked by the grand high priest of
progresslvism, can lose nothing more
through antagonism in that quarter.
Only one disturbing thought in
trudes. What are the sentiments Of
the Hon. CHARLES EVANS HuGHEs in
this interesting hour?
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02
FOURTH AUCTION OF
EAMES AMERICANA
Many Rare Books on Indians
in This Part Of the Col
lection.
TO BE SOLD APRIL ) AND u

From the great collection OF books
Indians got together by Wilbcrforce
Eames. head Of the American history
department Of the New York Public
Library. the Anderson Auction Company
has already made three sales and II
now announces another, that of Part =
of Mr.. Eames's collection. which will
take place on April 3 and s. There is
still another section of this library to
be sold on a date not yet fixed
Mr. Eames has been book collector
nearly all his life, and it has been his
custom to sell books whenever his col
lection became burdensome. He has
never sold book, however, that was
not on the shelves Of the library with
to the library Is the first consideration
lie began his library work in 1855. when
he iorcd the stan of the Lenox. He
became its Librarian in 1898 and when
two Years later. the Lenox. Aston and
Tilden foundations were merged into the
New York Public Library he became
the chief OF the division of American
history. He has been the librarian of
the photographed Society since its or
ganiZation and is recognized as the lead
ing authority on Americana.
Part of the Eames collection con-
tains many rare items. Bossn's "Nou-
veaux VOYAGES" Paris. 1858. was en-
tirely unknown to Sabin and Child's
New Discourse London. 1894. was
not mentioned by him. CoCkburn's
Ia, ia
lard from Honduras to the South Sea.
Darleys Scenes i'm Indian Life Phila-
deiphia. lSt3. fourteen plates, Is so rare
that the Eames copy Is the only one
ever offered for sale by auction. The
broadside to William Denny, printed by
Franklin in 1861. is very scarce. The
copy of the second edition of La Hon
tan's Voyages is complete with all
the maps and plates. Ogden's "Claim
of the Inhabitants of Newark printed
AT Woodbridge y. j.. by Samuel Parker
in 1866. seems to be one of three known
copies. Pettrichs Portraits of Distin-
guished Indians" Autographed and pub
lished at Baltimore in 1872, is one of
three known copies. the two others be-
ing In the New York Public Library
and the American Museum OF Natural
History. OF the Columbian brOadside.
published in Boston in 1872, only five
copies are known. The minutes of the
Indian conference in Easton. printed in
Germany by Saur in 1857. of which only
two or three copies are known, and
Quintanas "Confessionario." Puebla,
Mexico 1898. which is very rare. are
included in this part of the collection.
There are many rare Pacific coast
items, including the first number of the
first American newspaper. and twenty
of Hall ]. kelley's own copies OF his
works.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02
DEFENCE OF THE COUNTRY.
A Wen known Friend Of Peace States
His Views.

To THE EDITOR or THE SUN-Sr: I'm
der present conditions il is the duty OF
this country to remain strong. What we
are trying to do is to build up inter-
national institutions so as to change
the conditions which make war possible
Urtil that happens there can be no ger-
eral disarmament of all the Powers, and
disarmament on the part of one Power
or small group of Powers would place
them In the position Of China.
There is just as much difference be-
tween International disarmament and
local disarmament as there was between
international bimetalism and our free
silver craze. This is not a change of
view, but has always been the position
of the men whose main efforts are di-
rected to setting up a world court and
kindred institutions.
The United States does not want a
large standing army. The numerous
officers OF such an army. whose interests
are advanced by war. bring n pressure
on the Government in favor of war. Rut
:here is nothing in the history OF Eng
land to show that the same is true OF a
navy Nor is ii true of militia who are
engaged in civil pursuits and whose in
terests are therefore actually damaged
by war THEODORE MARBURG.
BALTIMORE, Md. March 81.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02
American and English Drys.

The Hon. MORRIS SHEPPARD. Il Sen.
ator in Congress from Texas and the
Young Roscius of Texarkana, sees
in the English movement for restrict.
ing the use Of alcohol during the war
a powerful impetus for the Dry con.
stitutional amendment, lie sees ma
tional prohibition in the United States
within four years II not sooner"
And he calmly misrcpresents Eng
lish opinion by assuming that "ac-
ton now will lead ultimately TO per
manoni English prohibition"
Mr.. SHEPPARD takes no note of the
fact thar a movement for voluntary
total abstinence led by KITCHENER
and the King Is going on side by side
with or as q preparation for what
ever cnrtailment Of the vending Of
intoxicants may be decided upon !;
and nobody knows what that curtail
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02

ment will b.. The temporary disusc
Of alcohol Is recommended in Eng.
land as n patriotic duty. as the dis
use of tea once was In this country.
Restriction will not rest on supposed
morality. but on patriotism and M
tional necessity. Moreover, II II I've
clear to Engishmcn that such re-
strictlon. even II it should 60 TO the
point Of prohibition. Is a patriotic
duty, who can doubt that the ma
jority Of them will consent?
The Hon. NORRIS SHEPPARD must
be curiously obtuse even for po-
litical prohibitionist II he can't see
the unreasonable distance between a
temporary national restriction or pro-
hibition, yielded to by men who cheer.
fully sacrifice a certain measure Of
personal liberty to great national
purpose, and the permanent forcing
OF national prohibition upon an un.
willing state.
Whatever Of economic argument the
Drys may get from the present ex-
perience ~ England they are entitled
to use: but they are not fair II they
forget that England will give up liquor
for time, II she gives 1t up, by the
will to patriotism and not In the
spirit Of sumptuary legislation.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02
TRADE BALANCE AT HIGHEST,
tnOnirini EiGurrs tor March Are
Given ~ St7. iOO, 600.

Exports from the port OF N"w Nnrk
FOR March set 4 u"W high record lU zig
urcs of Si36,5U0 .u00, according ~ uuof-
fetal reckoning on tn. basis Of tho daily
figures. This total IL subject to revision
III the anal ofncit record.
This Is the laird new monthly 70 ord
for tho year, January aud February
having made new marks. Exports IN
February were Sll3,2o3,l72 March ex-
ports last year ware S72,19S,ia3
The balance Of trade IN favor OF New
York for Mtrrh ON the unofficial figures
~ exports and imports was $4,000. 600
This compares with a February favor
able balance of sac ,l>6,3"6. Last year
in March the trade balance was unfa-
vorahls nv S2S.S57,5il.
Imports for March were $50, 900, 900
A month ago they were SIl,0l6,S 6S.
Last year in March imports We're sl0l,-
655,98%.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-02
FAKIRS AND TAKERS.
The Unreasonable Distinction Be.
tween the Two Professions.

To THE EDITOR or THE SrS--Sir, In
The SuN Of March 81 appeared an ar
tiCle headed the Takers VIII Not Fake
In This Year of War" To this We,
the Society Of American Fakirs, howl
our objections. Please don't think for
one moment we're not grateful for the
publicity; we are, extremely so. You
wonder why we object? Listen,
lawyer, "A singer, a professor of
mathematics, a bank president, a movie
director. baseball player. a great Gen
eral, any of these may be a faker and
most likely arc. Why? Because they
all fake for no ones benefit but their
own
\ fakir is Of n different breed oh,
my. yes \ fakir fakes. IL is true,
but he fakes for the benefit of American
art lie makes fakes and sells them
openly as fakes mot as art gives
the proceeds 10 some struggling student
20 pay his tuition in art school. This
is a fakir-srt'
The fakirs have been In existence
twenty-five years For twenty-five years
We have been painting fakes and SELL
ing them. People have laughed az them.
They have laughed so heartily that
.helr pockets have been torn asunder.
leaving a shower Of gold on our we'll
worn floors We have CLEANED this
money and used il to the best sdvan-
tiEc possible
y ltymau does not realize, and never
will what these sleauings have meant
To- many students. They meant one
year of study with only board and room
To- worry about. \ student II clever
can always swipe pigment, "turps" and
canvas enough Monday morning to last
HIM through the week
While ohjrrtinG We will make a good
job u' II, rs We have said before, ",
have been miking fakes for the last
tw"uty-riyc wears Along came cuhists
futurists. post impress onis's, and tho
rest of that bunch uf nuts, a few years
ago. They stulo our stun and called
il ar. Is that fair TO US No Now
We hope you can soc tho wide guilt
between a ftker and fakir
SoCiErY OF AMERICAN FAklRs.
Per *. l. q.
\tW Ntpt, March n