Crossville chronicle. [volume] (Crossville, Tenn.) 1894-current, 1915-02-03
SENSITIVE AS TO AGE
HUMAN NATURE SEEMS TO RE.
SENT PERSONAL QUESTION.
Walt Mason, In the Story Of the Pre-
historic Citizen, Sets Forth the
Case With q Good Deal
Of Truth.

Case With q Good Deal
Of Truth.
The other day an Emporia citizen
whose whiskers have been whitened
by the SHOWS of many winters was
urged to dress himself in a circus suit
and play golf. A number of the town g
patriarchs are indulging in the game
this season and they naturally hold to
the old theory "the more the merrier."
But the prehistoric citizen refused to
fall into the snare Of the fowler, writes
Walt Mason in the Kansas City Star.
Il realise" he said, that am merely
q venerable ruin, and I am not going
to pretend to be anything else. The
vine and the fig tree are good enough
for me. OF course you will say that
q mans Just as old as he feels, and
you will argue that golf makes an old
man feel young, but 1t doesn't. 1t
merely brings his age to the surface
and makes him look like something
left over from the paleozoic age. An
old man seated under his fig tree read
ing Baxter's Saints Rest and getting
his house in order for the great
change is an edifying and improving
spectacle, but an old man gallivanting
around in the sun trying to create the
impression that he's three-year-old
is an offense to the eyes.
"How we like to pretend in the mat
ter of age! The women have been
1oked a great deal about their reluc.
lance to acknowledge their years, but
the men are just as bad, If not worse.
An innocent bystander or solitary
horseman might suppose that there is
something disgraceful about advanced
years. people hate to own up to them
80 greatly. try to take philosoph-
zeal view Of such things, but always
feel resentful when anybody asks me
my age. People can spring all sorts
Of leading personal questions and I
don't mind them. I answer them
freely. acknowledge that have
stolen chickens and watermelons
without the least en- Embarrassment, but
If a man asks me how old am I feel
like hitting him on his red necktie. /
have tried to analyze myself and dis
cover some explanation. but in vain.
when the government announced
that it was going to establish postal
savings bank in Emporia said to my
self: Now, here's a good business. I
have always been afraid Of banks con-
Quoted by people I meet on the street
every day. A man can't feel much con-
fidence in citizens he knows SO we'll.
But the government bank will be con-
Quoted by strangers, and I always did
have confidence In strangers. So III
salt down my rose mobiles and pieces
Of eight in the government bank
when that institution was opened
for business l was the first one at
the receiving teller's window. had
quite package Of counterfeit money
with me, and supposed there wouldn't
be any formality other than handing
me a passbook. But the paying teller
opened his official copy Of the longer
and began asking questions
and jotting down the answers. had
to tell where and why was born, and
my grandmother's maiden name and
other statistics; had to convince the
questioner that had never served a
term in the penitentiary and thaN none
of my blood relatives had died insane.
There were all sorts of Impairment
questions to be answered, but they
merely amused me until the teller !
asked me how old was.
That filled me with virtuoue 1ndig-
nation.
"It's none Of the governments |
BUSINESS l said, how old am. I'm !
Did enough to deposit my own money,
and that ought to be enough
"'You can't deposit your wooden
money in this bank said the teller,
unless you give your correct age and !
your wife's correct age, and the cor
rect age Of your man servant and /
vour maid servant, and of the stranger /
within your gates"