davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1915-05-27
DOES BACKACHE WORRY YOU?
Some Alma People Have Learned How
To Get Relief.

How many people suffer from an
aching back?
How few know the cause
If it hurts to stoop or lift
If YOU suffer sudden, darting pains
II you are weak, lame and tired.
Suspect your kidneys.
Watch for natures signal.
The first sign may be headache or
dizziness,
Scanty. painful, or TOO frequent ur-
nation,
Nervousness or constant, dead
tired feeling.
Avert the serious kidney diseases,
Treat the weakened kidneys with
Doan's Kidney Pills,
A remedy especially for sick kid
neys.
Endorsed in Alma by your friends
and neighbors.
l.. b. Jackman, 421 Sneed ST., Alma
says: 81 had trouble from irregular
action. | suffered from attacks OF
backache and pains across my loins
After ! stopped, | could hardly
straighten. Doan's Kidney Pills cured
me, and during the past several year:
I haven't been bothered at all"
Price soc, at all dealers. Don''
simply ask for kidney remedy
get Doan's Kidney Pills-the same
that Mr. Jackman had. Foster-Mil
burn Co.. Props, Buffalo, n. Y. Adv
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1915-05-27

A country deacon went home one
evening and complained to his wife
that he had been abused down at the
store shamefully. "One OF the neigh
bors." he said. called me a liar" Her
eyes flashed with indignation. why
didn't YOU tell him to prove it, she
exclaimed That's the very thing
that's the iroub'e replied the hus-
bard; Il told him TO prove IL. aud he
did"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1915-05-27
MAN TAKES HIS OWN MEDICINE
Is AN OPTINIIsT

lie has absolute faith in his medi-
cine-he knows when he takes it for
certain ailments he gets relief. Peo-
pie who take Or. Kings New Discov-
cry for irritating Cold are optimists
they know this cough remedy will
penetrate the Innings of the throat.
kill the germs. and open the way for
Nature to act. You can't destroy a
Cold by superficial treatment-you
must go to the cause of the trouble.
BE an optimist. Get a bottle of DR..
Kings New Discovery to-day.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1915-05-27
ADVERTISED LIST
Alma, Michigan, May oath, 1915

Alma, Michigan, May oath, 1915
Advertised list for week ending May
gath, 1915.
Mr.. c. +. Cook.
Mr.. Jack French,
Miss Gladys Porter,
Miss Amelia Smith,
The above If not called for will be sent
to the Dead Letter Office, June 7th
1915.
v. p. Cash.
Postmaster.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1915-05-27
NOTICE

All parties indebted to the City for
Cemetery lots are requested to call on
th&City Clerk and make settlement on
or before June 1st, or accounts will be
put in the hands Of the City Attorney
for collection.
1sS7-t2 BY Order Com.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1915-05-27
-FOUR WEEKLY LIMERICK

In the Spring of the year, Mr.. Quaint,
Decided to improve things with paint,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
HEARD AND SEEN HERE AND THERE
BY Earl Goodwin.

She wore one of those silk sweaters.
a skirt, of some marvellous striped
material la front awning. had nat
heeled shoes and an iron jaw, with
which she masticated 3 cents worth OF
gum. She was a forty-horsepower.
double-six gum chewer. but that didn't
seem to interfere with her ability to
converse affably in a. Loud tone to
young man who sat opposite her. He
had just bought. her fine Looking
something to eat that, he called a
"chock lit Sunday: She spaded into it.
dug out enough ice cream to stop the
entrance to the Hoosac tunnel. tucked
it away with the gum, and after few
seconds burst forth with this:
"Say. was you ever to .Jarvey's? No?
Well, listen. kid. They have some swell
dancing there. Honest, ain't you never
been there? Aw go on. / betcha yo'
been there a plenty times an you
don't want to let on. Listen, kid. 1
was down there one night last spring
1t was Sunday night and went there
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

went into the store, but I hardly
dast. j was afraid you might not
recognize me- j imagine I've changed
considerable. But you haven't. ex-
cept to grow older. How time flies.
don't it. It's twenty years since
went away and yet it don't seem no
time I've been all over mostly
always used to think If j ever got
shut of this town I'd stay shut one
while And ] have. I've seen some
big sights. | tell you"
''Then-then," Serena faltered. you
didn't intend to come back when you
went away"
well, l didn't know. 1t turned out
went a good way. and it wasn't easy
to get back. Lately I've been think
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

was very bashful and timid, and there.
fore he hoped they would one and all
keep very still.
that tall pine,'' he commanded.
OF course. everybody looked up al
the top of the tall pine. They couldn't
see any one there. and they didn't
know why they should look UP in a
tree when the other jumpers had been
we're told to do. -t-..'i :, 8,
Jump" called Jimmy Skunk.
Then out from the top Of the tall
pine tree sailed something or some
body SO small that in the dusk they
could hardly see what or who it was
Away through the air it sailed, over
the mark dghtfoot the Deer had
made. and on and on, coming nearer
and nearer to the ground, until, with 9
scrat ching of tiny claws. 1t landed on
the foot Of another tall tree.
"1fmmy the FLYING SQUIRREL" cried
Bobby Coon. "Hurrah for little Tim.
my! Why didn't we think of him be.
fore?"
tested Peter Rabbit.
mo such thing! He jumped" de-
clared Jimmy Skunk. use your ewes
Peter. Now watch him come back, and
tell me if you see any wings.
of the tree he had landed on, and az
Jimmy spoke he sailed out from the
top and back toward the tall pine
Down. down, he came in a long slant
right over Peters head. Peter stared
with all his might. Timmys legs were
stretched out just as far as he could
stretch them. and, while there seemed
to be something between them which
made him very broad and fat, he Ger
tainly didn't have wings. Down he
sailed, and landed on the foot Of the
tall pine. and at once scrambled to the
top. He had gone almost ten times as
far as Lightfoot had jumped.
Right away all the little people be-
gan to talk at once. Some said that il
wasn't jump at all, but that Jimmy
flew. Others said that it was a per-
feet jump. and that Jimmy was the
greatest jumper in the world. While
they were talking about 1t Jimmy
jumped again. All the tongues stopped
wagging. SO that their little owners
might watch him. The minute he land
ed the tongues began to 60 again,
well, Peter, did he or didn't he
jump You know you are the judge"
said Jimmy Skunk.
Peter scratched his head in a trou-
bled way. II suppose, II he hasn't got
wings he must have jumped, but I
don't understand it." he replied. ut
10 just 80 il he slid down on the air;
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

Easy enough" replied Jimmy. "Doesn't
or Mistsh Buzzard slide down out OF
the blue. blue sky? And doesn't Red
tail the Hawk do the same thing?
But they have wings, and you say
that Jimmy hasn't wings. That's diff
ferent," replied Peter.
Perhaps if you ask him Jimmy Will
tell you how he does it, retorted Jim
my. He certainly hasn't got wings,
and you must admit, Peter, that there
are two better jumpers than your
cousin, Jumper the Hare, about whom
you have boa sted so much"
IN never boast again. declared
Peter
Just then Jimmy jumped again. and
this time Hooty the Owl sailed after
him. But Jimmy reached tree in
safety and disappeared in the Green
Forest. and thus ended the great jump
ing match.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

with fellah from 1t Lanter. Georgia.
He's wire salesman and he certainly
il some handsome. Honest, l believe
he's almost the handsomest -fellah
ever saw. betcha he's the handsom-
est fellah in the wire business. When
he goes to moving picture theayter
the girls all stop lookin' at the show
and Jest look at him. ....,
went down there to dance, and 1t was
Sunday night, and they was the swell
lest crowd there you ever seen. They
was q lot of society girls there and
clothes Just hke they was to q recep-
ton, don't you know. The fellahs was
all dressed in evening dress suits, too,
every one OF them was. It looked just
like they was all in one big party:
don't you know. because they was all
dressed alike. I don't know IL it was
a banquet or not. but 1 guess it wasn't
no banquet because II it had OF been
a banquet that's a private AFFAIR. and
they wouldn't of had 1t in the public
us In. anyhow, II it was a private ban-
aaasWs; .,,. this yer ,e,,ah I was with. he
commenced to get worried because ne
didn't have on an evening dress suit
He Jest had on a sack suit, but 1T was
a swell one at that. because he bought
it of one Of the SWEETEST tailors IN
It Lanter. Georgia, where he ne i cyetbs. !
because l had on serge suit. Jest like
a walking suit. and 1 didn't worry any
because / knew it. was all: Q. X. and
IL any of them parties in evening
dresses wanted to. take any, exceptions
to it Ia tell 'em where they got on
in a hurry. I was out fer a good time,
and didn't care what had on.
but this yer fellah he kept worryin'
about his cioes Every now and then
- ~ Ia PoJt helm
with all them other fellahs who was
wearing their full dress evening suits.
and I got kinda sore. Every time ia
say anything to him he'd hdget around
on his mind He didn't pay no at
tention to me at all, he was SO worried
about his cloes. l told him he looked
all right, and I don't care what kind
right and don't get fresh: and I don't
care If he wears q evening dress suit
twenty -four hours a day II he amt
all right 1 ain't goin' to have nothin'
to do with him. I jest gives him the
once over, and tells him to, beat it
cause / already got another date.
well, this yer fellah, he gets SO wor-
ried over, his cloes that he don't pay
no attention to me at ALL So says to
myself Til give him something to
so much about appearances TIL hand
| him a jolt They was q lot o. green
stuff-salad, you know-setting on the
table. with tomato on top. an jest
reaches over and grabs that tomato
with my hand and begins to eat 1t Jest
\ like 1t was an apple.
We'll, this yer fellah like to throw
a fit You oughter have seen him. He
looks like he was going to faint.
"Whatcha doin'?' he says to me;
'whatcha doin'?. That amt no way to
eat that"
That's ali right, kid I says to him,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
The Most Wonderful Jumper
of All.

1t didn't seem possible to the little
meadow and forest people watching
the jumping match by the tall pine on
the edge of the Green Forest that
there could possibly be any better
jumpers than Jumper the Hare and
Lightfoot the Deer. There wasn't one
but right down in his heart envisd
Jumper and Ltghtfoot. So whom jim
my Skunk announced that he would IN
troduce the greatest jumper of all
there was a great deal of wondering.
and not a few shook their heads in
doubt. Jimmy made little speech, in
which no told them that the last one
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

mount, came into the Press Club one
day last week when Jim Hay and the
author Of these inspired lines were
talking.
Said Jesse to me:
II was. reminded of you last week in
Tennessee. 1 met friends Of yours
Mr.. and Mrs. Wood
Whereupon Jim piped up:
ut must have started you to think
ing about the stuff his head Is made
off"
And he started for the door. laughing
in that dry and feeble manner which
bespeaks the empty mind.
Is he even?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

four took boards out Of the table. Two
tried to get the giants swords away.
and two took chairs to throw.
One of the knights succeeded in get
him rdRiit in the stummuck and fell dead.
AS for the other giant, King Arthur
threw q sword out the, window to Sir
Galahad, and 1t hit the other giant.
and he fell dead tod.
X 1: a.
You cannot beat them.
Women-that is. They have to have
things At or they won't wear 'em. =
DR.. Woodward. health officer, was
taking about life-saving. the other
day down at the bathing , osacn, .x IN.
night, Mrs Woodward and I were,
when a man rushed into our stateroom
ana sa id: For goodness sake come into
NV stateroom and help get my wife
out She won't move
ave rushed in. and there was the
LOOK at this thing; II won't AT
atamp of the foot
which is why I remark that. any
way you look at It. you can't beat en-
+ James Hay, jr., was made little
moro famous than ever g. few weeks
ago by the publication in this column
Of truthful anecdote concerning Mr..
Hay and the suggestion that he would
Improve his appearance by wearing q
mask. Since then he has been lying
in ambush endeavoring to hang some-
thing rough and deadly upon the con-
ductor of this column, and at last he
thinks he has It,
These are the faets:
Jesse S. cottreli he Tennessee -cata-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07


ing lot about you. Serena. I kind Of
hankered to see you. My. you're just
as pretty as ever-I don't know but
prettier. Say, Serena, can't L call on
you this evening"
Serena's face was ice. all save her
brown eyes, and they were fire. NO."
she said. mot this evening or any
other time. Good day to you"
She walked across the street and
left him. She felt that he was look
ing after her in establishment and she
held her head very high.
At the corner Steve sat in the door
way of his house examining some
thing closely. Serena caught a glimpse
of pink and recognized the flowers she
had given him that morning. Her
heart gave a leap.
Steve she called softly.
He sprang up and his face lit.
"S'reny, dear"
Serena tried to speak, but she had
no need. Her face told the whole
wonderful story and her true lover
read 1T Alright.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

that's all right. You got enough to
wofsy you about them cloes O. yours.
Don't take on no extra worries about
my table manners. You jest keep on
lookin' at them evening dress suits
and you won't see me. That's what you
been dom all evening"
An 1 guess that held him for awhile.
We went away from there as soon as
l had ct that tomato and he never even
called me up on the phone the next
A revival Of the Arthurian legends
and the tales of the Round Table hav-
ing struck deep into the young life in
the neighborhood of Cleveland Park,
the conductor of this column has been
importuned by an author who. calls
himself. "Sir Denny" aged seven, to
have published the first chapter of a
prospective book to be entitled king
the book has an older brother, who is
also an author, and who,- when he
heard of Sir Denny's entry into the
field already occupied by Tennyson,
Howard Pyle, etc, penned these burn
ing lines:
"Sir Galahad
He took his Lance
And stabbed Sir Denny
On his Pants"
However, let us see what the first
chapter of the latest King Arthur has
to say. Here it is:
In. the olden time there was castle
so nigh that Erown-up men couldn't
see the top. And on the door in gold
letters We're these words:
"Ye Mightie King"
Now any one who has read King Ar
thur books knows why mighty is
spelled m-t-g-h-t-i-e, but If you
haven't I shall tell you. In the old
time there were no telephones or cleo
trio lights or autimobles They did
not even spell things the same and
spelled mighty m-i-g-h-t-i-e.
Well, the kings name was Arthur,
and here Is a list of his knights:
Sir Iauncelot Sir Tristan
Sir Galahad Sir Allat
Sir Perctvai Sir Baird
Sir Denny Sir Allen
Sir Gawaine Sir Johnson
One day all ton had q feast. There
were ten knights but there were
chairs and plates for twelve. They ate
and ate, and bye and bye they heard ar
NOR behind them. Looking behind
them they saw two big giants. One Of
them said:
II seeth you you have two. unoccupied
mo no." said Sir Baird. I'VE don't
give no seats to strangers"
''Slay them,' the giants cried.
The knights you saw in the list had
no armor on. Two Of them took plates;
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
Lightning Rod Agents Call.

! Since the fire of last week I have
been visited by three o. -four lightning
rod agents. every one of them abso
lutely certain, if their words may be
accepted that lightning caused the de-
! struction of my barn. l don't believe
a least. ! didn't believe--that the fire
owed its origin to lightning. but l am
/ willing TO admit that ! have been con-
! siderably impressed by what the agents
! have told me.
When the agents first put in their
appearance I was inclined to be skep-
! teal and not little impatient. Inever
had gwen any thought to the subject
of lightning rods. and about all 1 ever
had heard regarding them was in the
way of humor or alleged humor. For
generations the lightning rod agent has
! been target for the jokesmiths, and
if | had any opinion of him at all 1t
was to class him with the gold-brick
swindler. the green-goods man and
on the supposed gullibility of country
men.
When businesslike young fellow
drove up one evening the latter part
of last week and introduced himself as
Il lightning rod agent I decided to lis
ten to his spiel" then give him the
laugh and tell him he had picked the
wrong "hayseed.'' He didn't play fair,
for he hit me below the belt before /
had my guards up.
II know" he said, that a great
many people regard lightning rods as
of doubtful value, IL not worse, but the
United States government doesn't
think so. Look over this. will you?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
I would like to build the cow stable

would like to build the COW stable
as a one-story annex to the barn prop
err. so that it could be screened against
flies and dust and kept scrupulously
clean. When l build ] certainly shall
have silo. and it ought to be in
corporated into the general plan with
a view to convenience and the reduc-
ton of labor. All really up-to date
barns are equipped with feed and litter
carriers running on overhead rails. l
don't know whether such an equipment
can be brought within my financial
limitations, but l do know that l am
going to have water pipcd into the
new barn. And when L do that it will
be piped also to the chicken houses
and the pigpen. Carrying water Tor
stock and chickens is one of the most
trying jobs about the place. In ex-
tremely cold weather it has to be
carried several times a day because the
water freezes and in hot weather there
must he frequent waterings to keep
the supply fresh Even in the spring
and fall water must be carried twice
a day. Not only is the job a trying one,
but there is constant temptation to
neglect it. and neglect means discom-
fort to the stock and actual cash loss.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
Presents Official Backing.

And he handed me Farmers Bulletin
No. 367, Issued by the United States
Department of Agriculture, which told
all about lightning rods. attested to
their value in protecting buildings. and
gave instructions for installing them.
That first move by the agent took
the wind completely out of my sails.
a business proposition or decline to do
SO on some ground other than that I
wasn't an easy mark" 1 decided to
listen, and learned lot of things in
other things that the scientists of the
weather bureau had given a lot of study
to lightning rods and have gone on
record that they do protect buildings
properly installed. 1 learned also that
improperly constructed or improperly
installed rods may be more of a menace
than they are protection.
1 didn't order. lightning rod from
this agent, nor from any of the several
others who came after him, but l am
going to have one put on the house at
a very early date; and when the new
barn is built 1t will be lightning rodded
to the queens. taste. They don't cost
much-the weather bureau says no pro-
lection is added by the gimcraeks
which make some of them expensive.
and there isn't any use taking. unnee-
essary chances. Lightning may never
come our way, but we haven't any as
surances it will not We may never
have another Are, but that isn't any
reason why we should not carry in
surance. l know that II could have
drawn down insurance to the full value
of my barn and its contents the money
would have come In mighty handy for
rebuilding. I procrastinated too long
about getting Insurance on the barn.
but I did go next day and insure our
household goods. And when the new
barn is built 1t will carry every dollar
Of insurance the agents will give me.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
POTOMAC BEACHETs,5;Sesss.,ss

ss week and up. Special rates to families and
parties. Abundance fresh vegetables from our
own farm. Sea food and poultry. Salt water
tesisn water. Take steamer st. Johns. Colonial
Beach Auto and motor boat meet steamer. Write
Frank D. Blackstone. proprietor, call room
21l, McGill bldg. Phone NJ. 5000 for reservations.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

the OInner LHuedVOFlnS TO mako IL
appear that I had noticed for the first
time tho vacant places. I inquired, in
as casual . voice as I could assume:
Whats the matter with the boys2 Are
| they dieting?"
"Oh, no." Jane answered. They are
going to have their dinner. Mandy
| will carry It out to the woodpile.
! They'll get It there and take 1t of
somewhere to eat It, Then they'll go
| down to the tent to sleep. You'll have
to do their chores tonight. The edge
| of the COW lot is as close as they are
allowed to come to the house."
What" I inquired, do you call this
particular form of punishment, and
what have the boys done to merit itr'
Jane was thoughtful for a minute.
you would call it punishment at ALL 1t
Is. rather. q course of action made
necessary by natures first law. that Of
MISREPRESENTATION. It was made neces-
sary by the fact that the boys went
We'll. going hunting isn't. q mortal
sin, is it?" I demanded, my temper
venturing to, show itself above the sur
face.
II never have heard it reckoned a
sin at ALL" Jane answered calmly
but 1t Is very great folly. which In q
way is akin to sin, when the game
hunted happens to be skunk"
The boys slept in their tent that
soaking rain. Fresh clothing was sent
them in the morning and they were
permitted to come to the house. But
for several days they wore a furtive
and apprehensive air and seemed al
ways at the point, when one ap-
preached them, of throwing up their
lcleani.5 e.. aM
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07
Little Stotle,
10 Bedtime
ny THORNTON w. BURGESS.
Copyright. 1915, by J. G. Lloyd.)

Copyright. 1915, by J. g. Lloyd.)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-08-07

Shelter for the Stock.
Though It Is unlikely we soon again
win have a storm like that Of Tuesday
night, It impresses upon me the necessity
of providing some sort of shelter for tho
stock without further delay. AS I have
no hay, 1 don't need hay loft. and
I have been wondering II I couldn't put
do this winter and next summer. PLAN
ming to have barn built before the COM
ing OF a second winter. Ordinarily our
winters are not severe, and II tho shed
kept out wind and rain and snow the
stock ought to be reasonably comforta-
BILE 1 would put up another shed. a
perrna nent one, for the wagons and i'm
Elements, so that I would not have to
give up room to them in the new barn.
I would prefer to do this because
when / build a barn, I want q good
one, and don't feel that we can afford
the expense this year. I don't know
that we will be any better able to
afford it next year. but it seems to me
this is one of those cases where II
will pay = be sure I am right and
then wait a while
/ think 1 could very we'll spend Q
year studying barns and barn con.
best adapted to my needs for the least
possible money! AS our farming pro-
gram Is not yet worked out to a final.
ity. 1 can't determine now what oui
needs are going TO De- IL Is reason.
ably certain that eventually We shall
keep more than two cows, but how
many more remains to be seen. Be-
yond a doubt when we get our addi
tional ten acres under cultivation WI
will need another horse. l would like
when we can afford IL, to have a worl
team and a third horse for driving
Realization of that ambition is some
thing for the future. but II is pos
sibility that ought to be taken undel
consideration in planning the new barn
l want barn that is modern and
sanitary and with just as many con
venieAes as I can afford to install