The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1915-09-13
Andy Phillips, Fighting
Constable Has
His Fill
SEXES TROUPE"
AT STATE FAIR
TribulatiOns Include
Long Chase For Es-
capped Simian


stable from the Fourth ward, was
all "het' up, when he came in to
make his daily report, Monday
morning. It's no cinch, this bust
ness OF seizing a monkey show at
the State fair, running the exhibi-
ton, and then chasing an escaped
Simian for three hours, to the most
remote corners Of the fair grounds.
Them as don't know monkeys
got no right trying to mix with
en-, said Andy, as he mopPed his
brow. Il guess | ought to know
Listen boys, and I'll tell you the
story The story went along
something like this
Andy, assisted by Walter Lemkie
deputy clerk Of the justice courts,
took charge of the monkey show at
the fair conducted by Fred y. Nal.
johnson and Howard Hubert Andy
had an attachment for SllO Little
Barney Oldfeld" is the star monkey
Of the troupe He drives small
automobile around a track at high
speed
Well, Andy and his assistant took
charge OF the show all right Andy
stood outside, "barked' like an old.
time bally-hoo man, and sold $lO7
worth Of tickets at 10 cents per
during the afternoon and evening
TO Lemhe. he said:
Now Walter. you're helping me
and you want To- 10 what say.
sell tickets, and you--you, Walter
old Top. take care Of the animals
in the tent See that they give the
public their moneys worth Walter
was hesitant. but h. bowed 10 duty
and assumed charge Of the exhibit
ion
Along towards o'clock in tho
evening. the monkeys gathered
about Little Barney They heiC
long conference. Lemkie says hC
could see they we've mad as wet
hens but he didn't know what the
trouble was. Three minutes later
the monkeys went on a strike They
1uit performing and looked Wpon
LcmNe with the cold insolcnce OF
worker who has tied up a shop
by ceasing 10 labor LemHe plead
cd and begged. They wouldn't re
sumo their work. He understood
soon after. what tho trouble was
Malcolm and Hubert the proprie
tors entered, and threatened to have
him arrested for cruelty to animals
"Why don't you feed 'em?" they
demanded.
Lemkie hoped 10 the nearest
booth He purchased two deliciou;
lemon pies. some milk, and some
peaches. lie laid the food before
the monkey band They shifted al
it with scorn, and went back tC
sleep.
Andy quit selling tickets, and
after looking around, he told Lem
kie that he ought to know better
than trying to feed Woodworking
stage folk with such truck. He
bought some eggs and toast and
crackor-jack and peanuts He treat
ed the troupe 20 a feast They atC
and ate. Barney was bloated and
listless when he returned 70 the
little automobile.
Nine o'clock IN the evening came
and the sterling constable from the
Fourth was still selling tickets
Something volplaned from the tor
of the tent and chung TO his coat /
WAS Little Barney" A boy haC
unhitched him from the seat Of the
automobile. Barney grinned at him
dropped off. and dashed down th'
midway They chased him, did Phil
Inns and Temkie. over fields. aroun'
tents. and past long rows OF stables
He was cornered in dark part o
the Krandstand. shortly before mid
night. The speeding monkey wa
taken back to his tent Lemkle wa
dispirited and tired. He spoke o
going home.
"Now. Walter" repeated the con
stable. you oughta do as | tel
YOU. You're my assistant. You
Walter-you sleep with the monk
tonight. so they won't be harmed ="
Il only took in SlO7," concluded
Andy. There's 81 more due on TIT
Judgment. and the costs come &
500. so I have 20 go out and ru'
the show again. Walter? No, NJ
quit lie don't seem TO undCrstan'
how to get along with stage mon
keys"