davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
That's all CUFF
BY M. Quad.

| That's all CUFF"
Il have just organized the great
American Veal Tablet company: can
ital. 100000. The stock will 20 Ia
200 above par, Dividends viii be 30
per cent the first year. Greatest thing
ever known in the history Of the world
VIII YOU take the seeretaryship al A
salary OF $4,000 a year?'
Not by durn sight You might ia
we'll give up trying 10 work a cold deck
in on me. l want that dollar"
And 1t was my genius and my anap-
ciering which brought It about SAID
the major as he rubbed his hands ami
patted the chiropodist on the shoulder
The thought came TO me while I was
eating a veal outlet at my boarding
house"
Look here. now" exclaimed the CHI
ropodist as he pounded on the desk
I've come for my dollar Don't try ia
stuff me, but come down with the
cash"
4 said $4,000 a year. but II that is
not enough, if you feel that you ought
to have 100000, speak right up. I want
you to be perfectly satisfied, you know
VIII $4,000 a year be enough~
What about my dollar9"
''The tablets will be a go They cant
help but be. Let US walk ont la the
hall while tell you that the public
can't get enough Of veal outlets in
their present form, They are always
eager for more. They want the taste
Of outlets in their mouths as they go
about their daily routine Fifteen
cents a box In order 20 compete with
potash iozenges, but a profit Of 10 cents
on every box. Take the sales at l0.-
100000 boxes a year and what do you
get? You want stock You want a.
least
Not blamed cents worth want
my dolIar!'
AT least $4,000 worth Of stock
You shall have #. You have paid me
81 to secure II, and don't worry. IT,
will be made out in your name, and
later on Excuse me"
The major stepped into his inner Of
fee and shut the door
Look here, you old deadbeat
want my dollar" was shouted
The major sat down at his desk and
lighted the stub end of a cigar.
You come ont Of there and pay vour
bill or I'll bust the door down !" shout
ed the creditor.
The major calmly puffed away and
gazed out Of the window and the look
on his face would have reminded o be-
holder Of buckwheat cakes and mo
Iasses.
Then I'll wait for you out here and
punch your head, DO you hear me-
The major did not hear. He was per-
fecting the organization OF the Veal
Outlet Tablet company and wondering
whether the Canadian general agency
should be placed In Toronto or Quebec
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

A man with a crouch Is his own
punishment
The hopeless man is one who tries
to live on hope alone.
Not all patient men are in the hen
pecked class
Genius may be little backward
about coming forward, but talent al
ways shows up on pay day-Chfcago
News.
"A STUDENT hasn't time 10 spend
very much money" says the dean Of
Swartmore college. That is deter
mined entirely by the time required
to loosen fathers bank roll.
REV E, Andrew Good breaches to
a flock at Lamar. Ill.
WOMEN are carrying canes at New
port. Well, they are less dangerous
than hatpins.
HENRY Watterson SAYS there is
danger Of Kentucky going to hades
There are those who will claim that
1t takes lot Of smoke to frighten the
colonel.
GEORGE F. Keys wants to be nom
mated on the republican ticket for
treasurer Of Illinois, II ne should be
elected it ought 10 be easy for him TO
keep the state cash locked up.
NOTED educator is advocating more
play in public schools Isn't there too
much play already?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

War seems to have been elevated in
certain part Of Africa 10 such d.
plane that humaRitarians can take no
exception 10 it. British and Germans,
It is claimed, fought 8 sharp battle,
the former capturing a fort without
the killing or wounding of man on
either side This is a long way ahead
n tho methods they are using in
Europe. but at that there was a de-
pIorable waste of expensive ammunt-
ton
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
Sept. | In History.

1T15-Louis XIV. of France died after
a reign OF seyenty-two years, she
longest on record.
1791-Lydia Huntley Sigourney. au'
thor, born; died 1865, wrote simple
sentences at three and verses at
seven.
lS5O-,Ienny Lind, most famous singer
Of her era, arrived in New York.
Sweeping German victory over
Russians at AIlenstein and Tan
nenberg, East Prussia
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
However one may take issue with

However one may take issue with
per-miltancy in this country, IL
cannot be denied that the war game
would afford a quick and effective
means of separating your Uncle Sam
uel from that superhuous fat AMI
burdensome wealth with which GER
tain cartoonlsts have endowed him Of
late. John Bull appears to have lost
few pounds, physically and other
wise. since he began playing it.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

The government not only can make
It's own army and navy supplies more
cheaply than is done by private con
tractors. but we have the word Of
General Crozier for 1t that ways are
being found. at least at Rock Island
arsenal, to steadily cut it's own cost
figures. No wonder those who have
been getting the contracts are fighting
extensions Of work in the armories.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
orEsrI0Ns AND ANswERs.
Wanted: Facts Ab0nt snoring

Wanted: Facts Ah0ut Snoring
Turning the tables, we would be
grateful to any readers who may en-
Tighten up upon the modus operandI
Of snoring. Will not q few wives
whose hubands indulge in the pastime
.endeavor. experimentally, in the inter
est Of science, TO ascertain whether
gently pinching the nostrils SO as to
enforce mouth breathing stops the
snoring Try 1t. please, and, If able
10 write next morning, report the re-
suit Your contribution will receive
due credit in the paper.
Rest Kind Of Hair Brush.
What kind Of hair brush is best?
Answer-If one has dandruff,
brush that can be washed or other
wise sterilized-as frequently as the
head is shampooed best. Long,
flexible, genuine pig bristles. A good
brush 10 stimulate the scalp is the
Hughes Ideal brush, which has bris-
ties implanted In a pneumatic base.
1t permits vigorous brushing without
scratching. or tniuring the scalp.
Prescription for Morning Maiaise.
Can you suggest anything to prevent
or relieve morning malaise--that mis-
cradle, headachy, dull, irritable, mean
feeling one wakes with, though III
fairly good health?
Answer-The surest cure for this
form of toxemia is a bed in the open
air. Build a porch bedroom. An open
bedroom window won't do.
What Is a Delusion.
Please explain precisely what q de-
fusion is.
Answer-It is a faulty belief con-
corning a subject capable Of demon
stration, out of which the individual
cannot be reasoned for the time be-
ing The rising of the sun, for in
stance.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

chine, and that be has dizregarded The
civil service laws IL his efforts IN this
connection
Before the Deneen followers are
done with it they propose they say,
70 show up everything and II they DO
the democrats ought 20 have easy sail
ing
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

II this depreciation Of British money
continues England need not think
she viii be spiting Americans by
looking elsewhere for supplies. Pe0-
pie over here like to know where the
money is coming from before parting
with their goods
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

a AEuGEa
81. John Smith, citizen, by birth or
by solemn oath of allegiance. OF the
United States of America, do resolve
from henceforth to avoid the pes
simistic negligence. unmanly surren-
der Of prerogative. and unjust default
of civic duty that give opportunity to
the demagogue. the disloyal propa-
gandist, the organised strength OF pa
cifst' weakness; TO oppose SO far as
in my power lies the civic heresies of
hypocritica1 or blind idealism and the
treachery that would send Uncle Sam,
armed with a broken bladed tacknife,
into international ways where high
waymen Turk; to support my party so
far as 1t promises to UNFOLD unspotted
the American flag. to defend Ameri-
can rights and protect American CIT
liens; to endeavor to purify 1t of fac
tionalism and error. and in every way,
by restraint OF selfish impulse and
cultivation of sanity with courage, to
contribute so far as I may to the
spread Of true Americanism in this
time Of test. I shall earnestly and
increasingly endeavor to keep my head
straight on my shoulders and not
twist the other fellows neck because
he is not looking in the direction I am. -
New York Sun
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

The colonel vas president Of the
United States six or seven years and
he ran things pretty much as he
pleased. AS the Burlington Gazette
remarks. he had abundant opportun-
lily then TO arrange for military pre-
paredness," the lack OF which he now
danlnreH
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

With 145 auto fatalities IN Chicago
during the present year no wonder
American cars are finding ready
sale on the other side of the Atlantic.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

II Henry Ford can find a way TO
make soldiers as fast as he makes
automobiles the United States need
no longer worry on the score Of pre-
p8redness.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
William Drady,M.D
DeIiriunn TremenS.

responsibility for his culpable negl-
gence. and it makes no difference
whether the prisoner is a low-down
loafer or one of the high fiers OF the
town
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

School begins next Tuesday. This
will be the shortest week Of the SUM
mer for little Willie.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
CHORDS AND
DISCORDS

IN buying your new fall hat Be
careful and not permit yourself to
imagine that you need 8 larger size.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

One hears a good deal about pota-
toes IN Germany. bur the Belgians are
said to be the greatest potato cot
sumers. outranking even the irish IN
that respect
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
Street Car Comedy.

II had always supposed Jones to be
a model citizen
Nothing to that Why, he couldn't
even keep an upright piano in hIs
home He sold it last week.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

From the way General Carranza Is
playing his hand one might infer That
he had an ace up his sleeve.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
Sidelights on the European War

Peking Britishers in China, whose
by the publicity campaign OF their
German adveTsaries here, are endeav-
oring to counterfeit the effect. Rev.
". E. Soothiu. formerly the head Of
the Tai Huan Flu university, has writ
ten paper in the Chinese language
lin which he has a reputation as
scholar), explaining the war from the
British point OF view
In the document which Is being
circulated throughout China. he says
that hitherto Germany has possessed
q distinct advantage here because Of
the Chinese name for that country
"Ta TIE Kuo,' or Great Virtue Nation.
The name conveys the idea to the ord
mary man. the writer states, that Ger
many is distinguished above all other
nations for its TIE (virtuet The names
applying to England and France are
respectively, Ia Wing Kuo Great
Brave Naton) and TIA Fa Kuo fGreat
Law Nation); and it is interesting to
note that applying to America is Tia
Mel Kuo Great Beautiful Nation)
Berlin-Although one of the trump
cards Of the advocates of the Roman
script and print as against the Ger
man script and German (Gothic) black
letter has always been the greater
Iegibility Of the first named, a German
scientist. after a long series of exper-
iments, now announces that the Goth
ic letter is less firing to the eye than
the Roman.
According TO his experiments, an
ordinary line Of so-called German let
ters requires on the average SIT
movements Of the eye. against 101t
for the Roman letters. The reason is
that the sharper characteristics" Of
the former make is possible for a sin
gle glance to comprehend more 1t
is true that it requires 1875 per cent
less to read q Roman line. but the
Gothic line regularly contains at least
10 per cent more than the former.
The eye, however, making less move
ments for the Gothic, has more rest,
and its glance also moves more
smoothly, whereas in reading Latin
characters sit moves trippingly along"
Paris-A French soldier fighting in
the Argonne has just inherited an es-
tate valued at $4,000 from an eccen-
trio retired army officer who lived in
the soldiers native village. The only
condition attached to the legacy is
that the soldier must from time to
time visit the grave OF his benefactor
and relate there some Of his war ex-
periences. The will says:
Being without family. 1 leave the
whole Of nay fortune to Paul Cambon.
farmer. / desire thus to show my
gratitude TO him for having for many
years listened patiently and with ev-
cry air Of interest to the stories l
used to tell of the war OF 1870. trust
that he will be spared to return to his
village after the present war, and my
only request to him is that he come
occasionally to my tomb and there re-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
Rock Island-From River to
River

This promises TO he dull season
for straw hat vigilance committed
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
Social Service Item,

Ad in Dubuque, Iowa, paper:
"Wanted-Girl to work for board.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

Havana, Cuba ~ Correspondence 81
The Associated PressD Tentative
plans are in process OF formation os
Colonel Jose Maru. chief of the gen
eraI staff Of the Cuban army for the
creation OF national militia as sec
ond line Of defense IN the event Of war.
All Cuban citizens OF military age, OF
good repute and capable OF passing me
regular medical examination, are eng
ible for enlistment and the organiza-
ton equipment and arming Of the force
will be uniform with the regular ar
my, Officers and men will be required
to attend drills twice a week and Their
arms will be kept in the barracks OIL
the regulars to be issued only ioI
drills or when the militia is called INTO
active serevicee. No estimate has been
made as to the probable strength OF the
force that can be raised No iimita-
ton is placed on the enlistment ana
il is believed that the service will prove
very popular in Havana and the other
principal cities.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01
New II He Doesn't.

Frank Fudge has enrolled in the
kewanee business college for the com
bined course. He will prepare for A
government position Kewanee Star
Courier.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

LINZY Rizen and Martha Beebe
have Just been welded in d nearby
town.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

THE new Chicago directory shows
there are 10000 Johns3ns in that city.
Does the list include the Big Smoke?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

LONDON dispatch says brokers
make good lighters. Meaning bulls
and bears. OF course
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

late some of his own war expert
ences,"
Copenhagen Proposals have re-
Gently been made looking TO the grant
ing Of universal suffrage to the negro
population of the Danish West Indies
but no action in the matter viii he
taken until a report is received from
a commission to be appointed to coa-
slider the result Of universal suffrage
among the negro population ia the
southern states of the United States.
The negroes in the Danish West iu-
dies largely outnumber the whites.
and the granting Of the vote to the
black is therefore regarded as a prop
osition OF considerable movement
The Danish minister Of finance Dir
Edward Brandes, is one of the leaders
OF the movement for opening the cleo
toral privilege 10 the negro
London-A scheme to employ w0m-
en- who have received scientific edu-
cations for shell making rs now form
ing in the ministry Of munitions. The
making Of munitions is highly tsehpI-
cal and trained chemists are badly
needed Many women have studied
chemistry and done chemical research
for years for no other object than
teaching or In the interest of abstract
science. Their names now appear
the register Of women for War work
Special departments for women chem
lists will be created in the factories u
IS said.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

MR. Lawman and Miss Halter Of
Manchester. Iowa, kept their marriage
g secret for a month Held 1t under
their hats, as it we're.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

LONDON dispatch says brokers
make good fighters. Meaning bulls
and bears. OF course.
MR. Lawman and Miss Halter Of
Manchester. Iowa, kept their marriage
g secret for a month. Held it under
their hats, as it were.
STRANGE. but the meanest man
you know have the finest kind Of
wives.
TWO Indiana farmers were so busy
harvesting wheat that they sent their
fances to the county clerks Office to
secure their wedding licenses, The
girls at least had the satisfaction OF
getting their correct ages in the rec
ord. Men are so careless when deal
ing with girls ages.
JUST after reading where a west
ern railroad magnate had chided the
bankers for being too easy on the
farmers a dispatch tells us how an
after raising thousands OF dollars on
bogus mortgages, Which proves you
can't always believe what a railroad
man says.
NEW York finally has declared war
on the fly. Yet Gotham is always
laughing at Philadelphia for being SO
slow.
ANCHORAGE, Alaska, not yet five
months old. has a population of 5000
Looks like q good place to throw out
the life line
PERSONALITY Is the thing which
teachers should cultivate in order 10
reach the boys and girls whom they
instruct" advised an expert in ad-
dressing Rock Island county teachers
institute. Personality may be the prop
er thing in these days. but when our
daddies went TO school the most efec~ |
tive means Of reaching the pupil was
via the paddle.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

tCc2tinued on Page Seven.l
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

STRANGE, but the meanest man
you know have the finest kind d
wives.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-09-01

NOTED educator is advocating NOR.
play in public schools Isn't there tos
much play already?
New Britain herald., 1915-02-05
PLAN TO RECOMMIT
 SHIP PURCHASE BILL
Majority Leaders Expect to Bring Measure Up Again on Motion to
 Discharge Committees.

Washington, Feb. 5.-Democratic leaders in the senate in a further effort to save the administrator ship purchase nlIl were today considering new lines of action. Outnumber0d by the opposition the majority leaders yesterday failed to carry out their plan to recommit the bill with instruc tiCns for amendment.
 The new plan under consideration is to recommit the bill with instruc- tions so as to bring 1t up again on a m otion to discharge the committee if it failed to- return the measure with amendments recommended by the caucus. Some of the leaders favor this plan if assured of enough votes to carry 1t.
 Meantime, the democratic leaders are waiting for the return here next week of two democratic senator's Newlands and Smith of South Caro- lima. Then with the vote 48 to AS, on a motion to recommit the bill with Instructions to amend, they would count Vice President Marshall to hreak a tie In their favor.
New Britain herald., 1915-02-05
ENGLAND BUILDING FIVE
 ZEPPELIN DESTR0YERS
Preparing for Threatened Air Raids Along British
 Coast.

New York, Feb. 5.-F'ive Zeppelin destroy constructed along new lines-are now being built near London for protection against threat ened air raids along the British coast, according to announcement today by Thomas Rutherford MacMechen president of the Aeronautical society of America, who arrived here last night from Liverpool.
 My investigation leads me to be- Geve that recent air raids on Brit ish cities were in the nature of try outs for the large Zeppelins." MT. Mac Mechen said. 'The dropping of small bombs and projectfles in an appar- ently promiscuous manner was not done with the idea of taking lives or of producing damaging results; I am convinced that it was preliminary move to - more serious raid, when heavier projectiles will be used.
 Announcement by Germany of an impending blockade of British and French ports also bears out the be- lief that air craft will be used in conjunction with submarine attacks on shipping.'
 MT. MacMechen declined<o discuss the Zeppelin destroyers but Said they would be faster than Zeppelin smaller, easier to navigate and would fire a erlal tOrpedOeS.
New Britain herald., 1915-02-05
RECOMMENDS INVESTIGATION OF SENATORIAL CAMPAIGNS
Committee Urges Probe Where Corruption Charges
 Have Been Made.

Washington, Feb. 5.-By unani- nous vote the senate elections com mlttee today recommended inyestiga. ton of senatorial campaigns in Penn sylVania and Illinois, and\in other states where charges of corruption nave been made.
 The original resolution by Senator Norris, gressive-republican from Nebraska, proposing inquiry into the campaigns where Senator Penrose was reelected from Pennsylvania and Roger Sullivan was defeated by Sen ator Sherman. republican, in Illinois, was adopted, but al the insistence of republicans on the committee it was amended to authorize similar inyesti- gation into any such charges from other states. Chairman Kern said the committees recomm endations would be put at once before the sen ate.
 Senator Suth erland, republican, of- fered an amendment specifically nam ing Alabama, Indiana. California and south Dakota. but it was rejected and the amendment was made 70 provide for inquiry into campaign eXDendi- lures In any other states vhich evil dence brought before the committee may justify
 Should the senate adopt the resolu- ton the inquiry possibly would be conducted during a recess of congress.
New Britain herald., 1915-02-05
MRS. JANE MITCHELL
 WILL BE S5 TOMORROW
High Street old Lady Has Six Child rcn, Eighteen Grandchildren and
 Ten Great Grandchildren.

Tomorrow, Mrs. Jane Mitch ell, one Of New Ib1gfalns venerable old ladies. will observe the passing of the eighty fifth milestone of her life at the home of her daughter, Mrs. J. A Blake, of High street where she makes her home. While Mrs. Mitchell does not expect to make 8 big celebration sho will be pleased to greet as many of her friends as care 10 call on her
 Three daughters and three sons are living to make happy the declining years of Mrs. MitcheIl's life. They are Mrs. Joseph Caunt, of Pasadena California, Mrs. James Caunt, of Lynn, Mass, 'trld Ms. Rl1kL, Of this city, and Reuben Mitchell. Of Lynn, Mass, Joseph Mitchell, Of Pittaiyld, Mass. and Thomas W. Mitchell, of this city.
 She also ha, eighteen +yrandcHIldrcn and ten great children.
 Despite her four score and five years Mrs. Mitchell is d rema rllably well preserved woman She is enjoy Ing the best of health and takes much interest in reading the latest news of the day. She is also good seam stress and spend coniderabl time sewing
New Britain herald., 1915-02-05
NEW HIGH RECORD.
Selling Stampede on Wheat Market
 Price at S1.67.

Chicago, Feb. 5.-Wheat advanced swiftly today to a new high record war price. It took only a brief time for the May option to reach S1.66 1-2, a jump of 3-8 cents compared with last night. The previous top notch quotation was on Feb. 3-$1.66. Most of the trading today, however, was in the July delivery, in which the upturn was not quite so radical.
 Something like a selling stampede ensued after the market had climbed 10 s1.67 for May. Sea board offers to resell wheat in Chicago surprised the bulls. and there was also an element of depression in the fact that corn, which to a large extent may be sub stituted for wheat, was not keeping pace upward with the higher priced cereal. The result was a sudden drop O1 more than three cents from the top figures attained by wheat