The Washington herald., 1915-08-22
Arizona Kicker

Last Friday we received word that ;
man had appeared in Gulchtown solicit
! ing subscriptions to the Kicker ant
claiming to be our agricultural editor
! This trick has been played on US half {
! dozen times within year And when we
! heard OF this chap We mounted our mule
/ and cantered over to interview him. W,
! found him just as he had bagsed hi!
/ eleventh subscriber and was ready to gel
i out
! What followed may not be recorded ir
: future history: but il was lively while il
! lasted
The bold faced imposter was of squatty
build. weighed 200 pounds and had been
eating limburger cheese He. therefore
had a shade the best of it. on the go-off
but We rounded him after getting our
second wind. and he won't travel on our
shape hereafter. He's got through TAX
ing subscriptions for us. and six months
probably look for honest work. We en-
plcy no travelling agents. give away no
chromos. and don't take stomach bitters
in payment for advertising.
We notice that our esteemed contem-
porary is advertising for a political edl-
tor. ''one thoroughly posted on politics
of the day" To such one he promises
a steady position at good pay. We dearly
love the old mossback who claims to
own and publish the alleged weekly down
the street. but when he attempts TO de-
ceive the public we feel it our duty to
In the first place. he has only S3l sub
scribers Secondly. our people don't care
a copper for politics. Thirdly. he has 10
pay his hands in store orders, and his
political editor would starve to death IL
two weeks. he got a young man from
Boston out here last summer. borrowing
the So he had left. stole his suspenders,
embezzled his white shirt. and then dis
charged him The lonesome appearanc'
of that young and confiding man as he
started on his 20d0-nile walk will never
be effaced from our memory.
Nearly three wears AGO we told Judge
Wakefield. who dropped in here from
Missouri, that he hadn't struck the right
town and ought to keep right on walk
ing We didn't feel bad because he didn't
subscribe for the Kicker. but the way he
wore his elbows out on the various bars
and his firm attitude before free-lunch
counters was agin him. He also made
himself very disagreeable in other ways.
and our advice was given in A brotherlN
way. He .efuSed to heed il. however,
and the other night the boys put rope
necktie on him and pulled him up and
let him down until he expressed grea
Willingness to move on. He will proba-
bly, have a sore throat all winter. but he
can console himself that it is no worse
We watch things pretty closely in this !
town. and We never tail TO catch the |
drift of public opinion. When we come !
out in loaded BREWER and advise a man |
to look for another pasture. there's noth-
ing funny about it It's a Verv serious |
business: and the rope is hanging on |
peg behind us.
Last week We had something to say |
a bout Col Jim Crocker. VINO Is punIshins
a big stock of poor whisky while waiting
10 be nominated for some political once.
The colonel believes in pap. He al
ways lived on il and he'd starve without
IT, We simply asked our readers II ne !
was honest. capable. and so on. and the
rolonel got riled over it. There Is no
iJubt in our mind that he got Hank
Scott the half-breed. tight and then
gave him a keg OF powder to blow up
he Kicker office We have II from
nan who overheard part of the conTer-
,ation Hank was willing enough 10 blow
is sky-hish. for we've had his lett ear
imong our Office relics for the last year
The trouble, however. was that he was
90 drunk to carry out the program ana
n fooling around with the powder he
,rought about an explosion on the va
ant lot next to our office. and saller
way to the unknown land in sections
md fragments.
What We could find of Hank we buried
.ext dav. at our own expense. and We
ont feel particularly hard against the
olonel We shan't go looking Tor MN
specially. but if we should happen TO
un across him some day while We 1ee!
bsent-minded we shall very likely gath,
r him in and mark his tombstone NO. l.
n our private graveyard.
We received word the other day from
'ol. John Fairbanks. who is running
sCtus farm about twenty miles west or
his town, that he would try ana come
l some time within fortnight ano snoot
s full of lead. The colonel seems 10
olitical ambition by proving that he SOLO
in,saIf 10 hot1 parties last year andI