davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
The Heroines of Novels.

If | were his satanic majesty, and a
novelist came to me for judgment, |
should beetle my brows in a horrible
manner and quiz him thus:
Did you ever make your heroine
eighteen years old? Did you ever en-
dow a maiden with the repartee Of
Pinero, the intuition of Blavatsky, the
carriage of Garden, the hauteur Of
the Medici, the beauty of Aphrodite
and the wisdom of Athene-all at the
age of eighteen years?"
If the novelist answered me Ger
tainly not!"'I should say: ITO heaven
with YOU" But if he answered; Sure
I did," | would blast him where he
stood.
For, of all the Ubiquitous, falIacious,
unfair and dangerous doctrines, this
takes the icing Of the cake-that the
female species reaches her apogee at
the immature age of eighteen.-From
Balm for Lovers" by George Weston
in the Saturday Evening Post.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Brothers in Misfortune.

The first baseman had Just been
carried off the diamond with a
spralned wrist and a d%islocated shoul-
der. u
On the way to the hospital the am
buiance stopped to pick up a "janitor
who had fallen downstairs.
I'VE meet quite by accident" said
the ball player. Il am a first base
man."
And H. said the %janitor, Am a first
basement man"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Couldn't Tell.

Why did you help the defendant
in the fight, If that's the case?" asked
the examining counsel.
Mr.. Cassidy looked at the lawyer
with contempt, and answered in a tone
of blighting scorn: For the ra'son
that at that tonne Oh had no means of
knowing which O. thin would be the
defendant"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
A Minority Report,

A small, meek country negro, who
had always lived on one place near
Frankfort, KY, married a big, domi-
neering woman, and very soon after
ward moved into town, where the
keeper of the local bar met him on
the street.
Hello, Gabe," he said, what made
you move to town? l thought you
liked country life"
"Well, Mistah Franklin" explained
Gabe, 81 lister lax de country. But
NAH wife she didn't lax it-and I've
done got so now dat when she don't
lax a thing I jest natchelly hates 1t"
Saturday Evening Post.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
What Causes Tuberculosis.

DR.. John North of Toledo, O., is
working on the theory that tubercu-
losis may be due to a lack Of lime
In the system, as he says that while
tubercular germs are everywhere, they
only thrive in ripe soil and just what
is lacking in persons subject to tuber-
cular trouble gives food for thought.
He says that there is less tuber-
culosis among people living in arid re-
gions and plants in such places have
more lime In their composition than
those growing in humid regions.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
REAL SKIN COMFORT
Follows Use Of Cuticura Soap and
Ointment. Trial Free.

By bathing and amounting these fra
grant supercreamy emollients impart
to tender, sensitive or i~rritated, itch
ing skins a feeling Of intense skin
comfort difficult for one to realize who
has never used them for like purposes.
Cultivate an acquaintance with them.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. ky,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21

DON'T VISIT THE CALIFORNIA Ex-
POSITIONS Without a supply Of Aliens Foot.
Ease, the %antiseptic powder to be shaken into the
Shoes. or dissolved In the foot-bath, The Standard
Remedy for the feet for Is years. It gives instant
.eltet to tired. aching feet, and prevents swollen.
Of my stay at the Expositions. thanks to Aliens
in my shoes. Get II TO-DAY. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Whenever You Need a General Tonic
Take Groves

The Old Standard Groves Tasteless
chill Tonic is equally valuable as a Gen.
eral Tonic because it contains the we'll
known tonic properties of QUININE and
IRON. 1t acts on the Liver, Drives out
Malaria. Enriches the Blood and Builds
up the Whole System. 50 cents. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
He Should Worry.

How do you account for Nero fd-
ding during the burning of Rome?"
asked the professor.
Il suppose he had the place heavily
insured" suggested the senior who
was specializing in finance.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Different.

Dudley makes me tired. He's al
ways Dragging about his ancestors"
"Oh, well, there's one consolation.
His descendants will never brag about
him"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
A Difference,

Hello, old a | haven't seer
you since we went to school together.
| hope Fortune has smiled on you"
You might call it that. She's given
me the horse laugh many a time"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Nav Have Been II.

Papa, why did Diogenes seek an
honest MANI"
81 dunno" replied papa, who had re-
Gently Endorsed q note for a friend,
unless it was to sell him a gold
brick"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
But Not One Of Them.

Does he belong to the moneyed
CLASP
Heart and soul. There's nothing he
wouldn't do for them"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Stupid.

Jack SloWboy May-I-er-kiss
you?
The Girl-What do you want, writ.
ten permission?
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
are constantly being restored to health by
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound

The many testimonial letters that we are continually pub
ishlng IN the new~spapers-hundred of them-are all genu-
Inc, true and unsolicited expressions of heartfelt gratitude
Tor the freedom from suffering that has come to these
women solely through the use of Lydia E.. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.
Money could not buy nor any kind Of influence obtain
such recommendations; you may depend upon it that any
testimonial we publish is honest and true-f you have any
doubt OF this write to the women whose true names and
addresses are always given, and learn for yourself.
Read this one from Mrs. Waters:
CAMDEN, MI was sick for two years with nervous spells, and
my kidneys were affected. / had a doctor all the time and used a
galvanic battery, but nothing did me any good. Twas not able to 60
became almost a skeleton. Finally my doctor went away for his
health, and my husband heard of Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable
am ike q new woman and am at my usual weight. l recommend
{oar medicine to every one and so does my husband" - Mrs. lille
WATERS $50 Mechanic Street, Camden, NJ.
From Hanover, Penn.
HANOVER, Pal was a very weak woman and suffered from
bearing down pains and backache. l had been married over four
years and had no children. Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound
proved an excellent remedy for it made me a we'll woman. After
taking a few bottles my pains disappeared, and we now have one of
the finest boy babies you ever saw."-Mrs. {. A. RcKRoDk, RID,
No. s., Hanover, Pa.
Now answer this question if you can. Why should a
woman continue to suffer without first giving Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound a trial? You know that
it has saved many others-why should it fail in your casel
For 30 years Lydia F: Pinkham's Vegetable @@&&A
male Ills: No one sick with, woman's ailments ST&M
nous medicine made from roots and herbs, it B$HN
has restored omany suffering womentohealth. y III
Write to LYDIA EPINKHAM MEDICINES GO. (A $50 ~
Your Letter VIII be opened, ' read and a nsSsassi aMS1NM
by a woman and held in strict confidence. {SS s sAzsSSsSSs9
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21

Always sure to please, Red Cross Ball
Blue. All grocers sell it. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21

The ostrich always approaches its
nest by a devious path, the idea being
to conceal the location from 0bserva-
ton.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Odd.

What caused the coolnes between
you and Jones?"
"a heated argument"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21

It's a poor rule that won't work both
ways in our favor.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-05-21
Viewpoint.

Viewpoint.
You shouldn't be dissatisfied. Look
at all you have"
Yes, but look at all | haven't"
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
HUnlOR OF THE DAY

1 Did you tell Binks I was fool?" 1 No: I thou zht he knew it."-Har- I'd Fampoon. 1 He--Cou!d you learn to love me? 1 She-I learned to speak Chinese 1 Dartmouth Jack O Lantern. Very. He never runs over any | oHe unless he's sure he can make
 etaway. Judge.
 kricl1er-Do they lead a cat-and-
 Eoeker-Yes, only the dog is mug 2 ed.-New York Times.
 Colonel drritably)-Fool! the countersign. Boston Transcript
 Grubbs-Do you find that your wife can keep secret? Stu ubbs-Well, not exactly, but she can keep 1t going. Richmond Times Disnatch.
 ''They are always bragging of their ancCst tOrS.'
 Yes, from the way hey talk you would almost imagine they had se- lected them themselves - Detroit Free Press.
 Judge-You say you are suing this man because he did not blow his aoFn before he ran into you. Plaintiff didn't say he didn't OiON HIS HUI St<4u lAl<1l l SONAAA hear 1t. Ills hlamed old car rattled too much.-Cornell Widow.
 Am as dear to you as I was dur ing our coprtship, darling?" queried the bride of six short months.
 Much deareI,' briefly answered the freight payer of the combine as he proceeded to audit the latest crop of monthly bills.-Ipdianapolis Star.
 Brown Con fishing trip)-Boys, the boat is sinking! Is there anyone here who knows how to pray?
 Jones (eagerly)--I do.
 Brown-AII right You pray, and the rest of us will put on life belts. They're one shy. New York Globe.
 How useless girls are today don't believe you know what needles are for"
 How absurd you are, grandma" protested the girl. "Of course know what needles are for They're to make the. graphophone play" Louisville Courier-Journal.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
CONNECTICUT oAtRYmEN.
Annual Meeting to Be Held in Hartfort
 This Month.

The 34th annual meeting of the Con- necticut Dairymen's association will be held at Unity hall. Hartford, Jan. 26, 27, 2S, 1915. The meeting will be ad- dressed by an unusually large number of men of national reputation Joseph Wing of Ohio, Prof. Cyrii G. Hopkins of the University of Illinois, Wisconsin, Prof. II. V. Barton, profess sor of animal husbandry of Mcdonald college. Quebec, Canada; Robert s. Seeds of Birmingham, Pa; President c. L. Beach and Prof. Kari B. Musser of the Connecticut Agricultural college, and Mrs. Laura Rose Stephen of Hunt ington, Quebec. are all speakers of na,- tional reputation. and their presence will insure us of one of the greatest meetings of the dairy world for 1915
 Prof. Cyril c. Hopkins will speak on the following subjects: Does Dairy Farming Maintain Soil Fertility? Is Soil Analysis of Practical Value? Use and Misuse of Comm erciaI Fertilizer
 Prof. c. E. Leo of the University of ture to illustrate the excellencies and defects of butter from the standpoint of the consumer and the producer.
 Robert 8. Seeds will give three mes sages: How God Made the Soil Fertile, Mistakes Of Life Exposed, and The In- fiuence of the Home.
 Prof: H. v. Barton will address the and Breeding and Feeding the Dairy Cow.
 Mrs, Laura Ross stephen will speak o1 The Dairy Cow and Influence of Environment.
 Josenh Wing will address the cor yeDtEon on Limestone and Soil Buiidirg and Alfalfa for tine 1lairy Cow.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
\ PLEA.

Have pity. o World. on the little ones: o World, with your cruel uncariAs So few are their joys meath youths So swiftly the stream of youth pleas So soon come life-s shadows. lifo'z arid part, Have pity. 0 World. on the old and World. with your busy. untir!ng oraini For 8. long. long day they your ills have borne; Alas. for dead love and dead hope they mourn Have pity and spare them a further paini Q World, a usurious. unjust toll From manhood and womanhood you have wrungi Have mercy now while youth'S snort hours roll. Show some regard for the work-worA soul, Be good to the aged, be good to the young
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
NEXT WEEK AT THE AUDITORIUM

The management of the Auditorium, who have booked so many startling attractions of late and have given them to the Auditoriunas patrons at absolutely the same admission prices as have always prevailed at this house have secured another sensation for the first three days of next week in Wes- toms Models, an act consisting of three beautiful girls who present an artistic posing novelty which has been fea- tured on many a big vaudeville bill and comes here direct from New York where 1t has been playing for the past week. These pretty models are draped by the use of a spot light machine placed in the orchestra pit and from which different pictures are thrown on them in many different coIors and shades, the girls formir~ the center of these artistfcally painted slides which, when thrown on the screen in the rear of the models make a very beautiful setting. These perfect young ladies also introduce, several spot light poses of a very difficult. yet artistic nature Another. act worthy of the Audito- riun's high standard bills will be Jacque and Foley, who are making & big hit at popular Providence the a.tre this week where they are pre- senting a high class piano and sing ing speciality into which they work several very clever character imper- sonations. Last but by no means least comes Huyler, an expert foot juggler, who will perform one amazing stunt after another in a most finished man ner. This vaudeville program will be a corker and one of the best seen at this house this season.
 Terence O'Rourke, Gentleman Ad- venturer. with J. Warren Kerrigan in the leading role, will be shown in the third episode on Monday and Tues day only. and this Yls1mber is entitled The Inn of the Winged Gods and is a very fine continuation of this high so- ciety serial drama. There will be two other photoplays. shown, one of which is Q very funny comedy.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
DAVIS THEATRE.
Charlie Chaplin in Two Reel Key stone and Three Great Acts Today.

One of the finest vaudeville and photo play bills of the season can be seen at this theatre today, and no one should miss this last opportunity of having a real good time. Heading the bill is that funniest of all comedians, D Charlie Chaplin in 8, special two reel Keystone comedy called His PreIis- toric Past. This is without doubt the funniest picture that this talented fun maker has ever appeared in If you want to see Charlie at his best don't miss this great comedy picture
 In the vaudeville the New Idea. Trio head the bill and this has been pro- nounced by everyone as the greatest singing act that has ever appeared in Norwich. Mar and Evans come next with a great comedy acrobatic turn and F1oretta Clark completes the three acts in a splendid singing act that is a decided novelty
 Mutual Movies of the highest stand ard complete the show today
 For the first half of next week a. specially selected bill has been book CT with the famous Carr Trio q novel singing and daIrcing act as the feature attraction. The next act is Fred and I2SS1e Bacon. Americas premier ban jo soloiSts. this clever team play ev- eiything from classic to the up to date popular music. Mir Bacon performs one of the most difficult feats on the banjo. playing two distinct airs at the same time and making his banjo talk so that the audience can follow lines closely as though it was a human voice. The thlrd act is Sisse Jorlon. the dainty little fashion plate dancer who is always a big favorite where ever she goes. 4 special bill of Mu- tual Movies including the Mutual War Weekly and a screaming funny Key stone comedy will also be shown.
 Tuesday and Wednesday episode No. 4. Zudora will be shown. Matinee today at 2.S0, and 10 cents. Two shows tonight at ' and $40, come eeariy and see Chaplin in the funniest picture of his career
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
COLONIAL THEATRE,
aThe Senator's Brother" Vitaqrspi,,
 with Leah Baird and Big Cast.

This wonderful story of the rise of two brothers as lawyers in a country town. their quaintly simple love affair which ultimately becomes the centre about which the plot revolves, and the near-tragedy which is cleverly avert = cd by diplomacy on the part of the %el1-meaning brother, is 8 special fea- <ure written by Gouveneur Morris. and presented by big all-star Vftagraph cast, included fn which is Leah Baird. William Humphries, Louise Beaudet and many others. The Bufterf1yss Wings is another albsorbing tale fea- turing Bessie Eyton and Thomas Sar1t-, scIa1 in which a ffirt pays the psn- ally, The Girl and the Nrtaer is the 1Sscgx@pn alrn offering which ie espe- t;zAl1y pleasing inRsTnuch as ft is prs ssnfed by Irsne How1ey, the beauty of the Bic@rGph cast, Jack Dr-lmier and others equally well known. The EHoie hlll is capped by & roaring
 weemr ocnD@Gy enf4fsed. Slippery sim
 wy " w >~ N~~
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
POETRY
THE Goo- OLD HYMNS.

There's lot of music in 'em-the
 hymns of long ago. And when some gray-haired brother I sorter want to take hand. think
 Of days gone by. -'On Jordan's stormy banks stand and
 cast wistful eye? There's lots of music in 'em-thosa With visions bright of lands Of light
 and shining streets of gold, And l hear 'em rlnging-slngIn8,Wh here
 mem'ry, dreaming. stands, From Greenland's icy mountains C
 India's coral strands" They seem to sing forever of holieri When the IllIes of. the love of God
 bloomed white in all the waysy And I want to hear their music froIf
 the old-time meetin's rise Til 'I can read my title clear to man
 sions in the skies" We never needed singin' books in them
 old days-we knew The words, the tunes of every one-t1s
 dear old hymn book through! We didn't have no trumpetS then, lc
 organs built for show We only sang to praise the Lord, from
 whom all blessings flow. An so I love the good old h--tnns, and
 when my ti~~e shall come Before my l.oht has left me and my
 singing lips are duInb- IT I can hear 'em sing then. III pas
 without q sigh To ''Canaan's fair and haprv land
 where my possessions lie"
 Atlanta Constitution.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16

MISS zOLA TALMEART, 1r <. H.
 Woods Smashing Success, The Yel- low Ticket. Davis Theatre. Jan. 9. in England is equally accorded in this country, and who is best known here for his dramatiZation of ToIstois The Resurrection, has chosen for the theme of The Yellow Ticket the conditions which prevail today throughout the Kingdom of the czar and the status of the Jew in modern Russia The main characters of The Yellow Ticket are chosen from official and diplomatic circles and the author wishes it to be made clear that he has not resorted for his drama to Nihilfsm, bombs nor any of the usual concognmftants that go to make up most plays of Russian life It is said that the chief incl dents in MT. Morton's play are taken from actual occurrences in real life. There are three acts, all of which take place in St Petersburg, and the in tense interest which is aroused by the situation whiC5. develops at the rise cf tl.e curtain, is said to be maintained throughout until the final climax in the iaSs act,
 Prices 25c to s15O. Seats go on sale Wednesday, at 10 a. m. Mail orders with remittance can be sent now.
 Three years ago the New York Fed eration of Churches passed a resolu- tton calling for the abrogation of the treaty with Russia. and I felt a SOL enn glsdness that we had done so, as The Yellow Ticket advancing from point to point showed the cruel in justices practiced upon the Jews of Russia
 Sincerely yours,
 WALTER LAIDLAW. sReT. Walter Laidlaw. Ph. D., Execu-
 tive Secretary, New York Feder-
 alton of Churches.)
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
J. C. WITTER ........... Auctionee1 FARM, STOCK AND TOOLS
 AT AUCTION
TUESDAY. JAN. I0. at u o,cSnrI, n. n,-

On account of i'll health and old age. l shall sell my farm at Public Auction known as the old Weaver place. about three miles west from Brooklyn Vil- iage. via the Windham or Hampton of land, of which 70 acres are cleared for tiIlagG and the balance of wood land 0f which a portion is suitable for ties and poles; buildIn"s thereon com prising one tWo-sLory house of ten rooms newly painted and repaired, two barns and oCe shed; fruit trees of sev- erai different varieties in abundance.
 will also sell 50 nice bullets most of which are laying. 1 heiter calf, about , tons of F1od stock hay. quantity Of Baldwin and Tusset apples. 3 cider bar reIs,, cart, buggy. ! road cart. 1 one-horso mower. blows l fodder cutter. l incubator. and few small tools; ! room fuI Of household goods. comprising 1 new white iron bed. steel sDr5ng and cotton mattress, marble top stand, 1 haircloth couch, pictures, curtains etc
 If decidedly stormy. sale win take place the first fair day following.
 PIETRO GA0iBATIESTI.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
TODAY AT THE AUDITORIUM.

Owin to the unusual demand for seats and the record breaking business the FoIlies of 1915 has been doing at the Auditorium this week, the manage ment has arranged to give three shows today in order to accommodate all their patrons and give everyone a chance to sec this exceptional show of vaudeville and musical comedy presented by performers Of high stand ing and big reputation among theatri- cal people as well as the theatregoers The matinee will start promptly at 2.3o and the admission will be, adults 10c, children 5c. Tn the evening the first show will start at 6-45 and the second at 8.45, with the usual admission of 1Oc and 200.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
FOR SALE
For Sale or Rent

Sec the beautiful, new, seven- room cottage, modern in every re- spect, now being built Gu the Buck ley property, Norwich Town. Take Yantic car to Pecl1's Corner.
 The entire first floor is finished in oak; dining room has beamed ceiI- ing, palIvied side walls and built in buffet. If desired, before comple- tion, two more rooms can easily be added. Terms to suit you.
 Roderick Meek, Contractor and Builder, invites inspection, and will gladly furnish estimates on build ings of all kinds.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
RESINOL HEALS RAW, ITCHING
 SCALY SKINS

No matter how long you have been tortured and disfgured by itching burning, raw or scalys skin hunors just put little of that soothing, an tiseptic Resinol Ointment on the sores The suffering usually stops right there!
 Healing begins that very minute and in almost every case your skin gets we'll 50 quickly you feel ashamed of the money you threw away on tedious, useless treatments.
 Resinol Ointment and Resinol Soap clear away pinples. blackheads, and dandrufT. Prescribed by doctors for 20 years and sold by all druggists. Contain absolutely nothing that could harm the tenderest skin.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
Mis-. Avery Entsrtains.

Miss Ruth Avery, entertained forSy friends Friday evening at her home on West Town street. The amuslnS games, selections from the phonograph, vocal and instrumental music, made the evening most delightful Pretty favors were used in selecting partners for tho serving of cakes, waters and ice cream.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-16
ANNOUNCEMENTS

Anruai Meeting Of United Workers.
 The annual meeting of the United Workers will be held on Tuesday eve
 ming, Jan. 19, at Broadway church. A cordial invitation is extended to every man and woman in the city to be pres ant and hear 8 condensed report of the last years work The report will be followed by 8 question box discussion. Wil1 you not show your interest Tn this organization by your attendance: