davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
HISHAPpYTHOUGHT
BY GEORGE ELMER coss.


Copyright, 1915, by W. .. Chapman)
Albert Lane was department man
ager in the big downtown store of
Smith & Brown, top story, grocery
section. He was modest and humble,
but the increased salary that came
with his last promotion aroused latent
aspirations in his hitherto suppressed
nature.
The duties of Lane were simple and
not irksome, although continuous
through the eight-hour working day.
His mission was to see that good help
was hired, a full assortment of sup
plies kept in stock, the big floor run
on sanitary system and everything
kept neat and fresh looking. Twice
in week his employers had compli-
L1ented him on new features he had
introduced to bring in custom. Lane
was something of an artist. and he
had worked overtime TO make attrac-
tive picture signs that won attention
and trade for certain specialties the
house was anxious to get rid of.
IF we could only Danish the colony
of rats that is eating into our profits
and disturbing everything" he told
the store manager. They are eating
up all the profits. We have tried
poison-they are too wary And pro
fessional ratcatchers. Their cleaning
out does for few weeks only
Spare no expense getting rid of
them, Lane" was advised. TITS only
in this department that they make
any trouble"
The others had gone home one aft
ernoon at $50. Lane had laid out
some special work to do. He opened
a window to admit current of fresh
air. 1t looked out on court dividing
the store structure from an adjoining
building.
Lane was busily engaged in ar
ranging some canned fruits in taste
full pyramids, when an unearthly
scrambling and quick, sharp squeals
drew his attention to section of
the department where the cheese and
butter supplies we're kept.
Hello! what's up?" he exclaimed
and ran in the direction Of the un-
usual rumpus
A rare sight met his vision. Be-
hind the counter were as many as
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

half a dozen cats. They were dart.
ing. diving, flying about in all direc'
tons. Scurrying before them were
rats-rats-rats. Then there were
some final squeals and each tabby,
paying not the slightest heed to Lane.
stood triumphantly dispatching each
a special object of prey.
II declared" voiced Lane.
Just then the man who cleaned UP
for the night entered the room. He,
too, stood and gaped
Where did they come FROM" he
inquired in wonderment.
That's the mystery--so many OF
them, too. Ah!" observed Lane. NOV
ing towards the open window. This
explains the mystery"
YES, but how did they get up and
over in here?" asked the other.
Must have been on the roof of the
next building" explained Lane. Don't
you see? There's two big iron cir.
ders leading right under this window
from the caves Of the next building
to strengthen the walls"
But who has six cats all in a
heap" began the helper, but Lane
had interrupted him. A speculative
look came into his eye as he slammed
down the window sharply.
"I've an idea" he announced. You
help me and we'll score the good
opinion of our bosses"
whats your idea?' asked the
other.
Keep the cats here. There's that
old store room at the rear we never
use. Shut the cats in there days
Feed them good, make them at home
Let them out nights. Why, I'll guar
antee inside of week we won't have
q rat about the place:'
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
man Harships began a careless brows-

ing in the Pacific.
The gunboat Adler (Eagle) took pos
session of the Solomons on October 80,
1886. A German-English convention in
1899 left Germany in possession only
Of the two most northerly islands in
the group. OF these, Bougainville, the
larger, is 1875 miles long and between
Is and so miles wide. Buka is about
33 miles long and from five to ten
miles wide. Together their area is
about 1000 square miles.
Have Good Harbors.
Both islands have good harbors and
both are rich in forests and in excel
lent agricultural soils. In Buka, how
ever, there is lack of water supply,
while the larger island is crossed by
innumerable streams, with their head
waters in the interior mountains. The
Germans built a government station
here in 1907, and since then have made
considerable progress in the task of
civilizing the natives, who were en-
ployed to do all of the improvement
work. Up to few years ago the male
portion of the native population
scorned all clothing, while the women
considered themselves dressed for
every occasion when wearing tiny lit
tie aprons attached to slender coard
around the waist, with, possibly, the
addition of some stray tattoo marks
and great sunshade hat made Of palm
leaves.
There was mere handful of Ger
mans resident In the tiny capital,
which was guarded by SO native police.
The islands are very near to British
possessions in the same group and but
q short sail from Australia.
The climate of the groups is that of
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Worthy Memorial,

The great Swedish dramatist, Aug.
ust Strindberg-who died in 1912 a
Christian, although having been most
of his life identified with free think
ers--was to have had splendid grave
monument from the Swedish people.
But on his death he asked that, in
stead, there should be raised over his
grave simple cross of wood with q
wreath on it in which should be carved
the words Ave Cr1x Spes Unica In
one of his last works 1.-THE Blue
Book'') he wrote:
"Sumnla sumlnarum. Pray and
| work Suffer, but hope. Have one
eye on earth, the other on the stars.
Set not your roots fast here, for here
we have foot journey, not home.
Seek truth, for 1t can be found. But
it is found In only one place, with
him who himself Is the way and the
truth. and the life"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
( : ERR ]]AE{!MzS
LOST ISLANDS
onA"""~ --0 -S -

the tropics, but the water wastes on
every hand and the mountainous re
gions near the coast made these Ger
man colonies very habitable for the
whites. Mangrove thickets. sage and
cocoanut palms and valuable woods
abound. The natives cultivate vans,
taro, unusually delicious bananas and
an atrocious tobacco, the last so bad
that not even European accustomed
to his homegrown product can enjoy
the Solomon island smoke.
Every effort was made by the i'm
perial government to encourage the
development Of plantations here. The
soils and climate are admirably adapt,
ed to the growing Of rubber, cocoa
beans and cocoanuts, and much of the
German energy was expended in the
production of these. Much was e&
pected by the Germans from proper
development of tropical farming upon
these islands, and, small though they
were, they were looked upon as impor
tant future assets.
samoa's Strategic Position.
The islands of the Samoan group &C
quired some years ago by Germany
and now lost to it occupy a position in
the South seas which would make
their permanent loss serious blow
to the Germans. These islands lie
in the direct line of mali steamers
between American ports, Hawaii and
Australasia. Upolu and Savaii are the
German islands, while Tutuila and its
adjacent small splotches of green, are
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
~ ARLY in the war Germany lost
to the British some South Pa
~ cific island possessions that were

- y CluC lSiaQQ pOSSSSSlOuS Ludt WCiO
A valuable to the nation chiefly as
coaling stations, but that are of
interest for other reasons. Among
these islands the most extensive are
the Solomon group, of which writer
for the National Geographic society
says:
When a man has learned to live
without ambition and to turn his back
on hope without regret, then the
Islands of the South Pacific are ready
to receive him as their own. Yet to
them turned Germany when its appe-
tite for empire led it forth upon its
tedious quest for unclaimed places on
the earth.
1t therefore happened that at the
outbreak of the present war Germany
had sovereignty over those two insig-
nificant dots of land upon the endless
expanse of the South Pacific, known as
Buka and Bougainville, of the Solomon
group. These islands were small, but,
nevertheless, were an asset to ma,
ton interested in the far East.
The generation Of Germans that fol-
lowed the empire-builders of 1871 soon
felt the need of colonial expansion,
but, when they looked around it
seemed that every foot of the earth's
worthwhile surface had been taken as
a colony or a sphere Of interest"
However, about 1884, the German New
Guinea company was formed and Ger
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
SHARP WITS TURNED TABLES
Moses MendeIssohn, Philosopher, cIev-
erly Evens Up Matters With Mum. .
Der Of Feasting Cavaliers,

Moses Mendelssohn, who was the
victim of much abuse, but whose
sharp wit always turned the tables
on his prosecutors. was once sitting
in an inn where a number of cava-
tiers were feasting. They observed
The philosopher, and in order to an
noy him sent him a plate of apple
parings which remained from their re-
past.
The philosopher accepted the gift
gravely and seemed plunged in
thought Then the cavaliers sudden
ly noticed that there were tears in
his eyes.
why are you crying?' asked one
Of them.
Il am thinking of something my
dead mother once said to me- replied
Moses. when I was a child l had a
very sweet tooth, and mother tried
to discourage me. Once when she
caught me stealing some sweets he
said: MY son, if you keep on this
way you shall have to be content
some day with the leavings of pigs. y
But why are you crying?" reiter.
ated the cavalier.
Alas" responded the philosopher,
her prophecy has come true!"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

As soon as good spender has over
come his fear sufficiently to approach
to the table next to the one wholly
occupied by Ermentrude the snake
darts like a flash of blue lightning at
the bell on the spenders table and
taps the bell smartly with ner snout.
The best part of the stunt is that
Mr.. Hitchcock has trained Ermentrude
to dart right back into her box after
tapping the bell. Therefore by the
time the waiter answers the bell Err,
mentrude is locked out of sight, the
waiter takes the order and the spend
er, picking himself off the shoulder
blades he landed on when Ermen.
trude shot her beady eyes toward his
table. admits that his bell was the
one that was tapped, and, therefore,
buys.-New York Sun.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

The Ramphoryncus or Archeopt
erys was a curious intermediate link
between the bird and reptile, the fossil
remains of which were found in the
1uarries of Solenhofen. Germany. The
tail was long and snake-like and
dragged on the ground. while the foot
prints were bird-like The fossil re
mains of the bird-snake were sold to
the museum of the "Freie Deutsche
Hochstift'' for $4,000
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
EASY Stadea.

Observation-Disclosures your horse?
Bensonhurst-Oh, loaned him to
my neighbor, Brown.
"Why, I thought he was going to
get an automobile?"
Gle is; but / thought my horse
would get him used to riding in AN
automobile because it's so hard to
make him go"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Helping Father,

MY boy Josh is goin' to be heal
O. help around the place this sum
mer," remarked Farmer Corntosse,.
why, he doesn't know thins
about farming"
Summer boarders don't care any
thing about farmin'. Josh knows ali
about the latest dances"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Uncomplainino,

And this idea Of asking six cents
loaf for bread" began the disap,
proving person.
Il am not making any complaint, .
replied the young married man. After
eating what my wife has been baking
seems mighty cheap"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
A Recommendation,

Are you sure of this new man you
have taken on"
''Of course l am. He has just fin
ished a long term of uplift in one
of the most popular state prisons"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Same as Now.

Mrs. Styles-This paper says in the
days of old Rome woman's character
was known by her dress. The toga
was worn by the men, but the stola
was the raiment for the women.
Mr.. Styles-And suppose it was the
custom for the wife to have half a
dozen stolas to the old mans one toga.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

the spring blouses, not to speak of the
dainty vestees. 1t is often cross
barred, chat is, with back hand stitch
in black or colors, or embroidered
with flowers and the buttonholes done
in the same color. Pieces of organdie
trim other materials such as crepe de
chine batiste and other blouse mate.
rails
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Never Touched Him,

Il think my sermon hit your hus-
band this morning. He squirmed con-
siderably and seemed to be muttering
in a remorseful way"
Sorry, reverend, but he was hav-
ing nightmare; that's all.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Very True.

Mr.. Bacon see in the Arctic re-
gion man who wants divorce leaves
home in anger and does not return for
several days. The wife takes the hint
and departs.
Mrs. Bacon--But how is the wife to
know il he wants a divorce or has gone
away to avoid the housekeeping?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
A Gritty Definition.

what is a lame duck?"
"a lame duck" replied the states.
man, SIS the kind of hero who is
willing to take a chance ON being
considered down and out for the sake
of proving that he can come back"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

of our term bankrupt" says a Lon.
don paper. The old Venetian money
| changers and lenders carried on their
business at a stand or bench (banca),
and when one was unable to meet his
oblieafons his 'banca' vas broken
| frupta).
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Why He Was Late.

Sam, you are late this morning
"Yas, boss; I lost nah hat an / did
have t. go after it.
did you walk or run after it, SAM
Neither one, boss; dat emery mule
kicked me after it"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Contrary Methods.

That speaker did queer thing In
his speech about the corrupt boss"
What was queer about it,"
HE squarely attacked him in
rpundly denouncing him"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
His OHense.

! is this your first offense?" asked
the Judge of the prisoner at the bar
after his conviction.
30, your honor" was the reply; 81
hired a lawyer once before"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Accuracy AppAoved

81 always call spade spade"
said the emphatic man.
That's right" replied Broncho Bob.
"a fourfusher once lost his life in
Crimson Gulch by calm spade >
club"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
a Practical Aoe-

Father, do poets play on lyres?'
mo. my son, the Tyre of a modern
poet is ball-bearing typewriter.
which produces nothing worthy the
name of music"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Oisproyed,

"Dopper says he can read charac-
ter at glance"
Nonsense. He's been glancing at
himself in mirrors for 40 years, and
he doesn't know yet that he's fool
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Cause of Detay,

Mr.. Gotham-If you don't hurry UP.
dear, we'll be late for the theater.
Mrs. Gotham-Why, you're not
going to drive the automobile down
yourself, are you2
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Places to GrowI.

Your husband has dog, hasn't
he?"
ooh, yes"
Where is hep
Hes gone up to the tax Office with
my husband
But what does he take the dog
there fcr?"
"Oh, the dog can growl, too
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
An Eve to the Future.

He-You have refused me! I shall
go into foreign lands, there to forget
and to gain my fortune
She-May l also have refusal on
YOU when you return?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Bound With Leather.

A frock of georgette crepe is made
With three ruffles Oh the skirt, each
bound with a narrow edge OF black
leather. The same black leather is
used for belt and to bind on the
bodice
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

American Tourist-So your brother
went to America?
Peasant-Yes; an he was maxim
a mint O. money. II he'd lived he'd
be a gintleman this day!-Judge.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Blouse of Crcandie.

Blouses of organdie unless made OF q
very fine quality are found to be unsat-
isfactory so that this charming mate
rial is used now more for trimming
purposes such as collars and cuffs OF
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Making Eyes

Patience--This paper says that arti-
fetal eyes were invented by Paris
surgeon in the sixteenth century.
Patrice-And don't you suppose the
girls made eyes" before that?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Son,eShina Ne.u

Bill-Anything new in railroad build.
ing?
Jill-Oh, yes; q western road 10
using nothing but twilight sleepers In
construction.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Caring for Stock.

Mrs. Farmer-They tell me that
oxen and sheep are believed to fatten
better in company than when kept
alone.
Mr.. Farmer-Well, when Susie has
her young man in the parlor tonight
Ill ask her to invite 'em in.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
His EXCUSE,

you were a very long time going
on that errand, Tommy"
Yes, mother. but you see I'm en-.
tered in a race at school tomorrow.
and wanted to save my speed"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Practical Illustration.

Teacher-What is meant by the
saying, more haste. less speed?"
Robert-If you try to run fast
through revolving door 1t will shoot
YOU right out where you started from.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Hurryinq a Girl.

Il notice you hustle hurriedly down
when Cholly calls"
YES; he always brings me box of
candy But if keep him waiting he'll
begin eating it.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Limit on His Feet.

Judging from the way old Mr.. Cad
son tangoes, he doesn't feel the weight
of his years much"
mo, and apparently he doesn't feel
the weight Of his sins, either
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
"B ankYuDt."

The discussion on the etymology Of
the work bank in Mr. Justice
Darlings court might have been car
ried step. further hy the illustration
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

Look at that dog chasing his tail"
"He is only doing what you and |
are trying to do-making both ends
meet"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
Cajiy Thouohf,

A noble nature can alone attract the
noble and alone knows how ito retain
| them-Goethe.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11

Women cannot stand as much phys
ical exertion as men"
Say, did you ever try going shop
ping with your wife,"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-06-11
WOMAN'S REASON.

Shes very masculine. isn't she?'
She is, and she isn't"
What do you meau?"
Il asked her last week why she was
so mannish and she replied. Be-
cause"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-23
CONFESSIONS
u OF A WIFE

mouth" when lie gets this. for he
will see that | know that he was
80 angry over my disposal Of Aunt
Mary's money that he did not
think very much about the death
of Kitty.
Probably he tore up the tele-
gram Immediately and forgot
that | mentioned the time of the
funeral services.
"Oh. Kitty. Kitty, | wonder II
you are cognizant of the little
living drama that il going on
about the coffin in which your
still form is laid?
We are all going our several
ways, my dear. taking up our liv-
ing problems and honestly, my
friend, We are getting used to the
world without you as quickly as
we can.
you, dear Kitty, did not stop
to think much about IL all when
you We're with us and know that
you would not resent 1t now that
you are out of il all
THE one thing that you would
want me to do-the one thing
you asked ME to do, dear-take
your baby as my own, am going
to try and do, but you will not
hold it against me, will you, II
| am not able to do It, for | know
that both your husband and mine
will strenuously object"
This morning saw Miss Heath
colt bathing and dressing the
baby. She does not look at all
like a nurse even In her uniform.
She has the most appealing blue
eyes in the world and her com
plexion is like a child's. She
strikes you as a tender, yielding
little thing who would hold some
common man very COD in her
heart.
While l was there Herbert
came in and his eyes lighted at
the picture.
And Kitty is dead
Continued Monday