davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
Knew Wher. He Was Headed.

The story is told Of very crusty.
gouty old gentleman who lost his pa
tience with his doctor. because he did
not make enough fuss over the pain
he suffered
Doctor" he cried out, twisting and
turning because OF the agony, you
don't understand! You don't seem to
grasp the easel You talk as though
tl>,'re were nothing the matter with
me. whereas. assure you, ] am en-
during the torments OF the lost,''
What, already" replied the doctor.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
WOULD HAVE MADE TRADE
Disguised Drummer Was Willing to
Accept Joking Offer II the Law
,sa ra Had Allowed It.

travelling salesman for a Ganse-
voort street wholesale grocery firm.
recently back from a trip through the
rough lands of eastern Pennsylvania
tells this possibly true tale:
One day on my last trip had a
six-mile ride to make to the county
seat, and the small village in which
hire and no other form of convey
ance. / may say that friend had
landed me in the town that morning
from his car and had sold goods
enough to pay the expenses of the
trip.
We'll. ] got away on the sorriest
specimen of horse | ever straddled,
and | was to send him back by mail
carrier, though not as a parcel post
package. 1t took me two hours to
cover the distance--I was sorry
enough | hadn't walked-and as
passed the county jail on my old bag
OF bones a face grinned at me from
between the bars of small Square
window. was too sore to smile. but
! nodded to the grin, and the prison
er called to me:
Say. mister he said, how'd you
like to trade that critter for 30 days
in jail?'
Just then I would have been glad
enough to have traded, but the law
wouldn't let me, and | rode on
New York Sun.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
Showed Discretion.

Betty was milking the COW when the
mad bull tore over the meadow. Betty
did not stir, but continued milking.
Observers who had run into safety
saw, to their astonishment. that the
bull stopped dead within few yards
of the maid and COW, turned around
and went away, sadly.
Weren't you afraid? Why did he
run away?" asked every one of Betty
"He got scared" said Betty. This
COW is his mother-in-law."
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
CBy ]. T. GRAINGER.)

CBy ]. T. GRAINGER)
When spring is thoroughly in, the
country will be full of rich grass, and
nearly all the stock of the farm will
be doing well on it. Its effect is some
what relaxing for time, but such re-
taxation must not be classified with
that which in delicate animals is
caused by indigestion. For instance, a
calf is badly weaned. i'll nurtured in
Its infancy, during which period the
constitution is made or marred. Then
as yearling or two-year-old, the
steer has become so debilitated that
he cannot digest the ordinary food,
and the excavations are too liquid for
robustness, and habitual purging is the
unhappy portion of such an unprofit-
able animal. which remains unthrifty
for life.
The healthy yearling or two-year-old
bullock may, just when the grass is
young and flushy, be purged as much,
but he will rapidly gain flesh, and as
the grass becomes older and harder,
the purging will gradually disappear
On such pastures where the grass
is exceptionally rich, no one who thor
oughly knows his business will put any
stock except superior full-grown bull
locks, because the grass is rich enough
to fatten them. making them third,
at the least, more valuable; and then
he has the use of the grass, when the
bullocks are grown, for other stock
OF course there are few farmers who
have pasture that will fatten bullocks
without artificial assistance, and those
who have such luxury should not de-
bilitate it by moving, but rather build
1t up by the best of farmyard manures
i cannot say l am an advocate of
using light artificial manures for pas
lures, but grass can be indirectly fed
by carting green food to the stock and
hnseed cake and other purchased
foods.
The land from which any OF these
green cropI are taken must be com
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
KIND OF DAIRYING
MAN WILL ATTEMPT
Much Depends Upon Location of
Farmers Land-Much Ad-
vantage in Freight Rates.
By WILLIAM A. FREEHoFF)

CBy WILLIAM A. FREEHOFF)
The kind of dairying a man will at
tempt depends largely upon the loca-
tion of his land. II the farm is within
mile or two of some large city,
worth several hundred dollars per
acre, the most profitable type will be
the retail milk farm.
This milk. or sweet cream. even.
must be of high class, and must sell
for a correspondinsiy high price in
order to be profitable. The farmer sim
ply cannot afford to make butter or
cheese on such expensive land and
make it pay dividends.
In summer, during the ice cream
season, there is heavy demand on
some days, and tighter call on others.
man will have to make quite elaborate
arrangements with retailers in order to
sell all of his products to advantage.
There is another disadvantage, how
ever-that is, the matter of freight or
express rates. Then there are those
men beyond the easy reach of some
city markets. About the best thing
they can do is to haul their milk or
cream to a cheese factory or creamery,
as the case may be.
They may even arrange to have a
man call Tor the cream at stated inter.
walls. Tais method of dairying has the
advantage that the skim milk or whey
remains on the farm, and thus less
fertility is carried Off
But often there are very isolated
farms, those which are too far from
the city to cater to the retail trade and
too far from any city to ship sweet
cream.
These men may well sell TO cen.
tral.5ed plant. This factory, which &C.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
The Beady Vine.

Singing was just over in the kinder
garten, and Immediately a small hand
flew up
What is it, Alice?" asked the teach
er
Il want to know what is a beady
vine," asked the little girl timidly. Il
always wonder what kind of vine 1t
is when we sing that song, Little lives
may beady vine (be dlvine)."
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
His Fitness.

What's become of your ASSISTANT
asked the newspaper man in the bar
ber shop. about to get the once over:
'Oh. he's quit the barber game to
become newspaper mar replied the
boss barber.
What does he know about the
newspaper gamer
We'll, he can handle the shears, all
right"
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

cepts milk and cream when shipped
for hundreds of miles, has facilities for
using a product that has soured in
transit.
OF course there may be isolated
cases where it pays best to manufac-
ture the milk right on the farm, into
either butter or cheese, but this takes
much work and hardly pays when
there is creamery or cheese factory
in the neighborhood.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

Taking Precautions.

Mr. Mulligan," said Dennis. you
must have biniffited by the death of
your mother-in-law. for whom you had
shmall affection while she lived"
Il did
What did she leave your"
enough
But | understand you've been
spinding hundred dollars, if you've
spint a cent to get her out of purga-
tory"
"Whisht now. and isn't it worth it
to get her out before / get in?"-Ex-
change.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

A paper dollar is said to last about
six years-unless II visits church
fair.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
Important to Mothers
Cheaper Plan.

81 see," said the man who reads,
that to bring sleep to insomnia vic
tins an English woman has invented
an apparatus to flow water or medi-
Gated liquids on the forehead gently
until the desired result is attained.
What do you think of that, Pat?"
Sure, think it would be cheaper t
turn the hose on EN-"
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
Deduced.

Il suppose. after all, Irene has her
faults"
So you don't love her any more,
eh h?"--Philadelphia Ledger.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

st. Louis has opened new $1,000
900 Washington university group OF
medical buildings.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
The Caise.

She dropped him instantly"
"oh. see. and that broke their en-
gagement"
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

Makes the laundress happy-thst's Red
Cross Bag Blue. Makes beautiful, clear
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

1t takes an unusually polite sales
man to overcharge woman for any
thing and get away with il.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
ln the cloudIand FLATS.

Harker-Do you live downtown?
Parker-No; twenty-three stories
up.-IndianapolisS Star.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

A kiss. scientifically speaking. Is
but an exchange of microbes.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

A lot OF sympathy is wasted on TN
der dogs and henpecked husbands.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30

A fatal Irritation is one that ends at
the marriage altar.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-04-30
YOUR OWN Dnu0Grsr WILL TELL YOU

Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red, Weak. Watery
Eyes and Granulsted Kyelids; No smarlng-
Just Rye comfort Write for Book OF the Rye
by mail Erec. Murine Rye Remsdy Co. Chicago.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20

clear that for England the peace treaty
of 1916 cannot be anything like the
peace treaties of 1913 and 1915. The
mex peace instrument will not confirm
the right of England to rule the waves
and to waive the rules. The English
capitalist class is bound to emerge a
loser out of this war. And the English
working class will not be satisfied to
keep on fighting and shaving for an
arrogant aristocracy and plutocracy
which even during the fight tries to
reap all the profits possible. There
can be no question that England is
ripe for another Cromwell who will
accomplish for the working class what
old Noll did for the middle class. This
does not by necessity mean bloody
revolution II may simply mean a de
cade of stormy and violent evolution.
In short. this war will hasten the
transformation of the present order
of society from capitalism to democrat
ic Socialism in every civilized coun-
try This will mean a complete change
of inner politics as well as of for
eign relation. 1t will do away with
the present secret diplomacy and will
be followed by a characterization and
socialiZation of the intercourse between
nations.
Karl Marx was right when he de
clared that the dividing of nations in
to classes and the growing identity of
class interests for the same classes be
tween various nations. lessons the
probability of wars. For instance. a
war between America and England
nowadays would be opposed by our
capitalist class to the bitter end-not
because our capitalist class does not
believe in war-but because the inter
ests of our capitalist class and that of
the English capitalist class are closely
interviewer.
This cannot be said for the working
classes o. all nations as yet. But a.
soon as such Will be the case for the
proletariats Of the various civilized ma
tions-and as soon as the workers will
grasp that facial wars will finally
be abolished. Socialism viii then rale
internationally.
OF course this cannot be accom-
plishcd by mass meetings or conven-
by assisting and supplementiug the
natural change taking place in the
present economic system with aimful
far-seeing and consistent Socialist agi-
tation, Socialist organization and So
cialist political action. And that must
every civilized land
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20
American Socialist Sees
European Revolt Ahead

lection of the poor people. although
they were undertaken purely as war
measures. II Will also be compulsory
upon the government to greatly eN-
tend democracy and political freedom.
because The millions of German sol
diers returning from the trenches will
b. i'm an ugly mood. But l do not
look for violent revolution in vie
torious Germany, at least not for the
next ten years to come On the con
trary, l expect that the overwhelming
majority of the Social Democratic par
y will show more constructive ten
dency then ever. A small minority
may draw away from the Socialist
party entirely and degenerate into an
arehiStic groups. What the outcome
rs to be in Germany after the next 10
years however, will depend upon the
wisdom of a ruling class which has
verN LITTLE wisdom. and, therefore, 1
would not venture 10 make any fur
ther predictions.
A. for France the leading Socialist
paper, LIlumanite, is already quite
frequently asking the question wheth-
er this is n war fer the preservation
of democratic ideas and the republican
form of government. or whether this
catastrophe is only a Roman Catholic
clerical conservative crusade for the
re-establishaent cf monarchyf Mar .
eel Sembat even accuses the clerical
clique Of having a king in the back
ground. In this war France can gain
absolutely nothing. The duke of Del
eassc and some militaristic "reVeuge''
politiciaus-al of them enemies of the
republic got France into this mess by
thei" alliance witt Russia. And | can
see Very stormy davs ahead for France
right after the war
The same prediction holds good for
Italy italy had been offered con
siderable land from Austria if it had
remained neutral The participation
of Italy in the war was opposed by
most Socialists. Il was simply CON
ccssion to the mob spirit of the
thoughtloss mass. But this very same
mass will soon after the war severely
punish the monarchy for yielding to
the mob spirit.
Russia will have a bloody revolu
happens. Russia has outgrown its old
form of Asiatic despotic government
and must enter upor its next phase of
development, that is, a sort of a semi
constitutional monarchy. Until it gets
that constitution there will be murder
and bloodshed.
Then there remains England. It is
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20
Cement Worker
Hurt by Auto

Charles Batto a cement worker lv-
ing on the East Side. was painfully
injured today when an automobile
stage. driven by George Hill struck
him. Batto was thrown a considerable
distance and suffered lacerations IN
both legs and the shoulder.
Hill, whose stage plies between Fl
Centre and Holtvine, was returning
from Holtville and was nearing Fourth
and Main streets when the accident
occurred. As he reached the intersoe-
ton of the streets an automobile
norlhbound on Fourth street dashed
into view, and Hill, according to off
cers, turned his car sharply toward the
north side of the street.
The sidewalk is level with the pave
ment at this point and the auto shot
across the sidewalk. the fender strik-
ing Batto, who was walking east ON
Main street.
The impact of the car knocked him
down, inflieting slight decorations.
city officers are investigating the
ease. They stated chat Hill may be
arrested.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20
Feds Barred In
Valley League

The Federal player is banned from
the Imperial Valley Winter League.
That decision was reached last night
at league meeting held at Imperial.
The eligibility of players was thor
oughly discussed before definite ac-
tion vas taken. Brawley members Of
the officials of the league pointed out
that verbally the league had agree,
to employ the Federal players. Ken
worthy and Johnson, who wtr,
brought here.
1t wa pointed out, however. by other
league officials. that since tnat time s
ing of Federal Leaguers and. besides,
many Of the players had refused point
blank To play with Federals through
fear Of ieopardizing their contracts.
Neither Kenworthy nor Johnson will
play in the Valley League.
Johnson admitted having signed q
Federal League contract, his contract
with the Oakland club expiring in
March.
1t was pointed out last night that
kenworthy had come i the valley at
the instigHtion of the league, which
ought. therefore, To detray part OF his
expense in coming. No action was
taken.
Upon what is to be based the eli
gibility OF the players in the future
was decided at the meeting last night.
The selection Of players will be gov
erned by the rules of the National As
sociation IF Professional Baseball
Leagues, the final acceptance or re
lection of player being placed in
the hands If Peter =. Hovley, presi-
dent of the league.
No player who has been released
from any of the valley teams for
cause shall be signed by any other
team in the league, it was also de-
cided.
Manager Joe Seymour. at the close
of the meeting, in brief address, said
the league, as a whole. ought II go
ON record as resenting the intrusion
Of Pacific Coast bali magnates into the
league here. Action Wa deferred.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20

Editors Note: Victor Berger.
conceded by Europeans TO be the
foremost Socialist in America.
whose intimate knowledge Of Eu-
roBean conditions and pcoplcs
makes him possibly the best post
ed of any American Socialist ON
these conditions, has written the
following article. All over Eu-
roI at the present time the masses
are secthing with unrest and sup
pressed revolt. 1t is predicted by
those who should know that the
tension viii break when war is
ended and whom the working
classes discover, too late. that they
have sacrificed their all for
naught. The Press. therefore, re
CARDS this article by a man so
closely affiliated with Socialist and
class interests abroad to be par
ticularly timely, ilummative and
significant.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20
PROTECTED LAW TO
LOWER FIRE RISK

Clean up in the rear IF business es-
tablishments in the downtown dis
trict, including even the alleys, Will
be the slogan Of First Commissioner
william Egerer at the next meeting
of the board of trustees, when he Will
present an ordinance directed to mini
mize fire risk The new legislation,
he said yesterday. would be primarily
directed against tenants who evade
cleaning up ON the ground that ii Is
up 10 the owner OF the building 10
keep the rear Of the building clean,
the owner in turn stating that ii is
up TO the tenant
At the present time there is an or
dinaucc in effect which states that
The rear Of all buildings in the busi-
ness district must be kept clean Of
combustihlr waste materials such as
old papers. hut the evasion, according
10 the fire commissioner. has existed
in the subtcrfugc rracuced by the ten
ant i'm blaming the condition onto the
owner. who. i'm turn, foista the blame
back onto the tenant
All this will be eliminated if the
proposed ordinance which Is To be pre-
scented by Fire Commissioner Egerer
is adopted by the board. The new
ordinance win place the owner Iii
rcctlv responsible tor the condition of
the building, irrespective of whether
the tenant is willing 10 clean up or
not
The city will request him to clean
up the rear of his building. He will
he given "A specified time in which 10
comply with the Injunction and then
if. At the expiration of that time, the
orders of the city have not been car
.ried out city employees will do IT for
him The city. in turn. will collect
from the owner for the work.
Police Commissioner Egerer yester-
day afternoon expressed the opinion
that after the ordinance has been in
operation long enough to be felt by
the owners and tenants of building
who will not comply with the present
ordinance, the fire risk will be con
siderably lowered.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20
1t Is By Inducing Our Friends From a
Distance to Join Us Here That We
Can Hope for the Population We
Need.

from The eastern states. but IL has not
yet reached the coast in fuu degree.
II VIII he III the agricultural SEQ
uoua that the new era of huoyaucy
viii fri manifest itself mere. In fact,
there j. already apparent in this val
he, a better feeling. Money is heeom
ing a nttIr easier and all THE Evidences
point To an early return ot normal con
ditons.
There is one condition that We
must overcome. Eighty per cent OF the
land of this valley is owned by non
residents aud is leased To tenant
farmers. which means that more than
three and half million dollars a
year each year is sent cut Of The val
ley 10 absentee landlords.
This drain ON the resources of the
valley is seriously felt and has pro
duced "A condition that is NOT Good for
the land owners, the tenants II any
body else.
All parties know this. and just now
is the one time when thc homeseeller
can get the lowest prices and the cas-
lest terms of payment that have been
known here for years.
You can wait uuul this period of
the present prices at least and be
obliged To pay much larger proper
tion in cash. or YOU can act now and
get the certain increase in values.
"The land here is iu slow process of
subdivision. because experience has
proven that The small farms pay
best"
Something along that line written
to all our friends should interest thou
sands in the valley
If You are not in position to take
advantage oil the opportunities pre-
scented. YOU can interest others.
If You are Interested for yourself
let rs help you to find the opportu-
nifty. call at the press office if We
can help you find what YOU want or
if You wish 10 let your laud go in
small parcels.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20
AUTO BURGLARS ARE
THE LATEST; T RIP =
HOME, HEBER, LOOTED

There are automobile bandits and
iitney bus hold-up men, but now comes
the latest-the automobile burglar.
The victim Of the origiuators of the
automobile as new aid II criminals
is A. NJ Tripp a cattle buyer of He
Der.
the robbery Of the Tripp home took
place about dusk yesterday evening.
Automobile tracks in the rear of the
house indicate that the ear came to a
halt in the rear of the house. where
one or more of the occupants alight-
ed and cut the back door screen TO eff
feet an entrance
The floors of number of rooms in
the house were Uttered with match
stubs where the burglars had searched
for loot. Among the plunder secured
were . suits Of clothes, ; watches, a
stick pin and lavalier, besides wear
ing apparel of slight value.
Constable Toney and Deputy Sheriff
shepard. who investigated the theft
last night. were unable to find any
trace Of the burglars.
Imperial Valley press., 1915-11-20

-, yaa know That every foreigner
IN America. bN writing u his tlends
i'm the old country. har heromr an I'M
migration agent
II is jdst m this way thai the com
muuiues of Southern California have
been growing. especially during the
last so years.
Pasadena, when il ceased being a
sheep pasture became known as In
diana colony, aud because the first
colonists were from Indiana others
from thai state fiocked to them
Los Angeles might almost today be
called Iowa Colony. because the first
eolouists from Iowa have drawn 81
many OF their old ncighbors TO them
that they constitute a very large part
Of the citN's population.
Redlands was started by two groups.
one from Hartford, Conn, and the
other from Chicago, and they likewise
drew in their neighbors.
If we should all go TO work with the
set purpose Of bringing our friends
10 Imperial Valley to take advantage
If the great opportunities which are
now open, we soon would have The
region going ahead in splendid fash
ion.
Does it bother YOU to know what
To write them that will induce them
10 come Let the Press offer a sns
gcstion. Write this plain truth:
"The pioneers came to Imperial Val
ley and found wilderness in which
nothing was demonstrated.
1T required years to level the land.
10 prove the soil and to demonstrate
the best methods of farming.
1T required other years To overcome
the obstacles which were developed.
just as obstacles always develop in "a
new country.
AT last affairs got i'm splendid run
ming shape when the war came. and
all the country suffered from depres-
sion.
"The revival If industry has set in
and Is gradually spreading westward