Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1915-08-07

no renponAlpl1Ny Tor OPINIONS u
correspondents. All letters sub
jeot 20 condemnation By editor.
Defense of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
TII,DEN. Neb.. Aug. ITO the Editor
OF The Bee; OF late the Unhappy Hyphen
has been made sorry target. in fact
II has been bounced upon numerically
by over-enthusisstic patriots. Therefore
We arise to defend its proper use. This
''linelet' has two ends which in the field
of magnetism would be termed positive
and negative. therefore much depends
where the word american is placed.
on the positive or the negative end. For
we stand in defense OF the american
German. American-Italian, American-Bo-
hemisn. ETC.. but we can't say as much
for the German-American. etc.
Even though the "Two-Tailed-Injun-
Rubbsr-Kritter'' can't help that he was
made that way, yet we note that he al
ways goes forward. and don't play crab
tactics; for no pays but little attention
20 his caudsl-appendage, in the rear.
Going forward, he uses nls proboscis as a
means of maintenance, for he could not
subsist long II he would become q cauda-
proboscls; therefore. being wise, he re-
jolces In being proboscis-cauda. II
would be presuming upon the magnani-
nifty OF this nation for any Two-Tailed-
Injun- Rubber-Kritter, to heave the rear
TO the fore. and drag the proboscis-end
behind, roaring and barking with the
other, which would indicate that his brain
had changed places-what a CONSERVATION
such an action would cause, until the
ksepers-of-the-peace could arrest and
chain him, treat him until he returned to
reason. or seAd him to the Jungle from
whence he cstne.
But sir Elephant Is too wise TO take such
a fit; he knows where he is well fed and
kept, and he has long since ceased to bel
low about the glory Of his former haunts
lin short. he's satisfied here, and IL not
his return il not cut off. So he smiles
and oheerfully fills his place in the
happy parade. after the money-wagon
Chis favorite place.. with Old Glory flap
ping on his proud brow. Not one in ten
thousand Of them ever was interested
enough to bend his neck to see his own
minimum-extension-o nor has
he taken special notice of those that his
brethren wore; neither has he Organized
societies TO exercise this vanishing-term-
nation into the gigantic-monstrosities-
a-magatherium-of -antediluvian-days Ha
has not been heard to remark that he was
particularly proud OF It. for the memory
Of former days bring him sorrow. for he.
or his ancestors, came hero to better their
onditions-nevertheless. he uses It just
for what It is worth-he chases fliesi and
wisely refrains from decking 1t with col
ors ana emblems OF his ancestral-jungles,
for he would indeed be unwise to gain
his sustenance by the proboscis-end and
do his barking with the caudal-end.
The writer finds that he Is an "Ameri-
can-German," but he can't help that. yet.
he ever endeavors to keep his "corpor-
iety'' headed in the right direction and to
make the best use possible of the radi-
penultimate, having the ability to use
| that language and prides himself of many
| Unborn traits (chasing flies, ETC., etc.)
| But Deutschland Uber Allies don't go
| here--that might do for O "German-Amer-
| ican'' and then only in Germany. for here
| we are only -good~behavior, or
we can return TO the beloved father
, land" BY the way, the most OF US So
| called Americans have at least few
| Ink-bones left forming the coccyx; signs
| OF former greatness. II you pleasei but
| they are dropping off during these de-
cadea, forgetting the 'Egypts of Bond
age ana praising the ''lAnd-of-the-free,"
looking toward the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
hood. But. by the way. some Bedlamites
are Hopping that member until It has
grown to be a cauda-maximus: We are
becoming affrighted.-"shu, de tail du
wag de dawg." POLY GLOt'