The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

Bryan. Redfeld. Jim" Ham Lewis and
Tumulty here entered.
A Member-"Mr. Bryan. there hasn't
been much news since you left Wash
| inston. Haven't you q good Sunday
morning story concealed about your
Bryant have nothing concealed
about me. Everything that I do OF
think is an open book"
Member-"Mr. Bryan. will you advocate
a national prohibition plank in the next
Democratic PLATFORM"
Bryan-"That question is both improper
and impertinent"
Member-"Haven't you any news you
Bryant have plenty Of news. but 1
shall reserve 1t for my own newspaper.
The Commoner.'"
Member-.'Mr. Redfeld. is it true that
You intend suggesting an important
amendment to the Clayton antitrust
act?'
Redneld-"Yes. I have prepared the text
Of the amendment
Member-"That confirms nv story"
Redfield-"It is indeed gratifying to be
able to satisfy the press"
Member-''Senator Lewis. what about
the report that you may be a candidate
for Vice President"
Lwis-.That embarrasses me very
much. Vice President Marshall is my
associate; splendid man. OF course
Illinois is the pivotal State. and some Of
my friends have been kind enough 10
suggest that have certain clements
of strength not possessed by any other
man. But not a word, gentlemen: not
word. pray you. Au revoir. gentlemen.
al revoir."
Member-"Say. boys. the papers will
go to press before We get any news.
Let's try TumuIty."
Enter Tumulty-"Hello, boys. what's
the news? don't get a chance to
read the newspapers any more, and
haven't seen the President for three
days"
Member-"Cant you give us some
details about the dumping clause
to the tarin sct?'
Tumulty-"Did I ever tell you about
the time Jimmy Hammi1l came to see
me?"
Member-"Say. Joe. can't you give
US hint as to the minimum army
and navy increase the administration
will stand for?'
Tumulty-''That reminds me of the
time George Evans came to Ocean
City"
Member-"Say. Joe. for the love or
Mike, cut out this New Jersey busi-
ness and give US a couple of para
graphs for Sunday morning"
Tumulty-'Sure! I am a half hour
late now. on an engagement with Sec |
retary Garrison. Walk along to the |
War Department with me-now when
began the practice of law in Jersey |
City. there was a big Irish policeman. !
etc, etc"
sAlmostss th~ NaIu>-s.-
What is the meaning of this mill
tary outpouring? Are we really pre-
pared at last?" asked President Sny-
der. as a squad of members came In |
the room dressed as soldiers of every |
rank and singing The Chocolate Sol
iier."
Member-"This is merely a demon
stration that the Millennium have
came" Under our noble leader. Mr..
Bryan. We have determined that there
will be no more war. Everybody is |
10 be sweet and nice to everybody
Else"
President Synder-"But you seem to
aave some soldiers"
Member. personating Bryan-"They are
imply exhibits of barbarian age.
proud to fight. Answer to your names:
Zen. Gumdrop. Col Caramel, Mai.
Capt. Candy, Lieut..
Private Peppermint.
Apostles of Melody and Sobriety. in the
,ack row."
Mr.. Bryan IL Good Voice,
There was then . lot of talk BY the
'rivates and a query of a member ask
ng Mr.. Bryan what lie had done with
lis sword since the Spanish war. Mr..
bryan then came forward and in good.
ound voice sang:
chief. I'm through,
/ pray you'll not forget.
say good-by to you.
With more or less regret. l.
go to save the nation, It
With lecture and grafton. II
So bid you fond adieu |,
iood-by. chief. God bless you II
I'm through"
As Is the usual custom. the membersl
the club who have died since the last
inner were remembered with a memorial
xercise and brief eulogies: eloquentIy 1
ead by a member of the club The I
Ictures of the deceased members. John
Shriver. former secretary of the
ub. and Charles A. Boynton, a charter ,,
iember were thrown upon the screen. ,,
he gridiron chores singing Don't you
ear dem bells"
'.Uncle Joe," of Course.
Uncle Joe Cannon, one of the clubs
igulars. and a 'come-back," was intro ,
uced with the '.Watermelon Song"
very one present singing the familiar
r in chorus.
The whole tone Of the evenings fun h
as Preparedness" and the Gridiron 1
iub proved its patriotism when the | 4