The Palatka news and advertiser. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1908-19??, 1915-11-26

clouds, where the sun is shining, and
looks down from his serene heights
upon the battling elements below.
was born in the slums, of a Stat
ternly, careless mother and a father
who was a curious compound-not OF
good and bad, in accordance with al
most the whole of humanity, but OF
differing forces of evil. Even after
had attained maturity and a phllos-
ophy of my own that embraced both
tolerance and tenderness, | studied
him vainly in the hope of finding one
redeeming trait. | never found it. A
hard arraignment, perhaps, and were
It not for the fact that this bit OF hu-
man experience aims to set down the
truth, the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, should hesitate to put 1t
down here. want you to under
stand that l have had to fight.
| prefer, however, not to dwell up
on nv childhood. | have no adequate
words. 1t was unspeakable. Recall
ing it, l can sincerely say that as a
child there wasn't a day or hour to
which | can return in mind without
bitterness. | was not, nor have ever
been, in the least morbid; if there had
been any sunshine, | think | would
have found it. A singular streak Of
optimism ran through the dun-colored
wool and warp of my nature. Our
home life, if such it could be called,
was dreadful, and we were only hall
nourished and clothed, yet amid al!
the squalor and wretchedness back IN
-, oh
ing painfully toward the light. l
can't describe that open, yet secret,
feeling-it must have been the divine
spark being famed into flame by min
istering spirits, which believe were
wathcing out for me even then.
Perhaps the eviscerating bitterness
of my childhood was meant so to be
i don't know. There seems sort
of unreason in the unhappiness Of 4
little child. Yet we see them all
around us-these wee, starved, de-
feated, sunless lives. The eternal
why" broods over and back of
them. Some day, let US hope, there
will be no such broken little lives,
little warped, hopeless souls God
hasten the day.
My brother-there were only two
of us-was weak, easily cowed and led
astray. He had our mothers cheap,
Indifferent nature. At fourteen he
was killed in street accident. | was
two years older, and the night he lay
dead in the squalid tenement crystll-
lied in me the fierce, sulen determi-
nation to get out" | don't know
why l had stayed so long, except
that | was too underfed, uneduCateI
and helpless to have proper initiative.
| had drifted along in a stupid, apa-
thetic way, hoping vaguely for deliv-
erance, but that night when | had
looked at Jim's crushed, queer body,
went back into the dirty kitchen and,
with my head buried in my arms,
thought it out in the silence. Some
where out yonder was a world wide
and big and open where one wouldn't
go to sleep with the sound of tawdry
wrangling in his ears and could wake
again still without it there. There
must be sunshine and kindly faces
somewhere-even, God willing, for
such as l, chance! Jim and had
gone to school, in a desultory sort of
way, but our rags and insufficient
lunches were the joke of the others,
so that school had come to mean to
me little more than nightmare. l
wouldn't ever go to school, decided.
We have never had drink to con-
tend with. | used to wish we had; it
would have simplified things. One
can understand the viciousness of the
drunkard. Viciousness in a sane and
sober man is always astonishing.
Presently | heard my father come
up the steps, 1t was nearly daylight.
My mother was Crouched over Jim :
coffin, moaning softly.
where's my breakfast, hussy?" 1t
was in such fashion that he always
addressed her. She was slut, hus-
sy-all the tawdry epithets of the
slums-as the fancy suited him.
Sometimes when l hear the gentle
married my DEAR" or my love-" my
hands involuntarily clench and my
heart flies back to that defeated child
hood like a wounded, homing thing
eager to atone, vicariously, for the
childish hurt
She stared up at him blankly. ~
- HGiIl l lllOuSl lG SlDOuI IL IL . Seli
" yet. Pm a-staying with Jimmy all
| can"
"You hadn't thought! No, you new
er think! Expect man to go with
out eatin', reckon? Well, you get
up from there before | beat you up
and get me my breakfast. Hear"
He raised a threatening fist at her
muttered refusal.
Jimmy" she began.
Jimmy, the dickens! What O Jim
N.Y." mimicking her soft drawl
Jimmy amt a-needin' you. The
brat's done for. Pity the other one
didn't 60 along with him. Nothin
but burden on a fellow, youngun:
amt. You"
l got up then. l had been watch
ing them through the open door
Something began to beat hard in m!
throat. | took a quick step TOWARD
the room beyond. | heard my moth
er begin to whine, like an animal tina
has been hurt. 1t always enrageC
him to see her cry. Now he jerke,
her upright, slapped her smartly ant
sent her Keeling into the kitchen. Sht
stumbled against me and fell sprawl
ing to the floor, catching at the tablt
as she went. Her fall enraged thu
man further He plunged after her