davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
THE s N ARK.

It is with unfeigned regret that we dissent from the pronouncement of Editor Loope, of the Millerton Tele- gram, who, commenting on a recent after-dinner speech in that town, on the subject, "The Trail of the Shark, ]" avers that there's no such animal. The subject was supplied by the toastmas- tor, David Dempsey, a student of Snarkology, for speaker who couldn't t find subject to fit his speech. And Dempsey isn't the kind of man who would put speaker on a false trail. A little research will reveal to the cynical Loope that there is Shark, just as truly as there is Santa Claus. The Shark supplied the theme which de- lighteds the gentle and genial soul of the late Lewis Carroll when he romped The process of hunting the Shark, as related in the Bakers Tale, is tick lish business. It is hunted with thim- bles, and forks, and soap. and smiles, and, railway shares; but the hunter is admonished that while the Shark is all right if it be a Shark, and may be served with greens or used for striking a light, it is an entirely different prop osition if the Shark be Boojum. In a1at case "you will softly and suddenly vanish away, and never be met with again.' So far as observation went, OH the night of the banquet-judging of course by the trail, which was fairly well defned-the Millerton Shark is nc Boojum,
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
Immigrants Who Go Back.

Statistics of immigration and emigra. tiOn, for the United States afford some very interesting studies for the politi. cal economist and disclose conditions difficult to explain, says the Bridgeport Standard. The current of emigration from Europe sets strongly toward this country, under ordinary conditions but there is a counter current. Not all those who come here to And pecuniary relief remain after they hsve found It.
 In the, five years previous to 1918 more than 900, GOO Ttslisns came to this country and 500, ,00o went beck. Some of those who returned gre likely to come again, wFen they have spent their earnings or h~ve longing for the "atmosphere" of this country. Then there are the Poles, a people without a country, save wherc they make one for themselves, who might be expected to find our freedom parti- cularly acceptable. BuS of the entire number who in 1911 and 19r2 came to America, 51 per cent went back. Doubtless the greater part ef these had fOund what they sought and preferped 50 enjoy their earnings where the sBsOunt spent would procure more of what they liked.
 In the four years back of 1913, A. 800 GOO aliens of all nations came to- the United States and 2,000, 000, nearby Oae hsf ss many, departed.
 As general rule man Of foreign b6pth who has lived here for two or tiSuee years never feels the same after returning tO his native land as He did ibe8ope he came. It is not unnatural tfiss6 the American influence makes the European uneasy, and tends to uns sstule those with whom he is associated after he gets home. Previous to- the breaking out of the great European War ttieu~ were troubles, in some European. oounSuiss, whdSe& were attributed largely to, the influences of the natives who had liwed in the United States, ac-- iquiredl a taste for our social and politi- cal waYs and taken that liking home, with! a disposition to inculcate it's ideas, among their owm people.
 Undoubtedly there is some founda-. tion for this conclusion and the stirrerss up of strife may have found the matent ials, tasY used, while living in this country. So. too, from the millions, who remain hen@ and arc slowly but sunalS assimilsted- there is an influence upon suu OWE habits and customs which we cannot avoid acknowledging. The Unitsd States of the future is being moldsd out of different materials from those that made the original thirteen colonies, in thought and sympathies as, well as in bAood.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
Good Friday April 2.

Governor HolcOmb has appointed Friday, April 2, Fast Day, in the fol+ lowing proclamation:
 "In accordance with ancient custom to appoint annually in the spring time time day upon which all people may united seek the favor of God in the oc- casions of the ensuing year and to select for that purpose the Christian Holy Day, Good Friday,
 "I hereby designate Friday, April 3, as day of Fasting and prayer. 1T request that on that day all the people of the state, whatever be their creed or belief, laying aside their usual avocations, humbly bow befoe the throne of God in recognition of His mercy to them and their own unaeserv ing; in thankfulness of heart that H. has spared this nation the dread scourgs or war; in earnest application for pa
 tience, wisdom and courage that peac,
 may abide with us; and in sinceFs
 prayer for an early cessation of sh,
 bloody strife which is rending the na tions of the old world. "
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
What the Other Fellows Say,

1t may be that Italy and Romania are to enter the European war but the leisurely way they are going about their entrance indicates to the impar- tial observer that they find neutrality about as comfortable as any sate of war could be. They may have annoying problems as neutrals but to go to war to avoid them, would be to jump from the frying pan into the fire.-Ansonia 1 Sentinel.
 The easy divorce bill wss defeated in the Navada legislature by one vote. They haven't made sure yet whether liberty. y.-Torrington Register.
 Our new narcotic law is in effect, yet it will doubtless be just as easy as ever to get cigarettes and suuF.-PittsfSeld Eagle.
 About the most favorable thing that tee is that its unfavorabDe reports sre acceptable and numerous. It is pleas ing to note that the wort Rnfavorsble is so often attached to the reports now coming along. Occasionally dssiT- able bill may meet that fate, but th@ sacrifice may we'll be made in the gem eral killing off of the undesirables.- Bristol Press.
 This Wethersfield convict who broEe- prison with only ten months, to. serve. out of his five year sentence, must have felt the call of the spring and sacrificed everything to answer it.-Meridsn' Journal.
 New York, Tn time, may become as' civilized as the rest of the country. even as advanced as Connecticut At Albany they are considering a. bill to abolish from saloons the unsanitarY free lunch which Connecticut abolished. years ago. And the saloon men, oppose the bill even though it will save them, money--Hartford Post.
 When they. knocked down the forts, of the Dardanellems the Allied fleet also knocked the extra cent out of six. cent bsesd and thereby consider "legit- innate business. ''-Hartford Times. k Tbe stngy that Amsterdam, N. Y, is- hand mp and has withdrawn its appro- priation for the Carnegie Library, which may be turned into a jail,. of. which the place has need and for which iit is adapted, must be sarcastio; a, nlprlant criticism on the form munich pad economy sometimes takes. s.-WaJer+ bury American.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

Joe Hollister, in the Pittsfield Eagle says: "Hard days for the chap who is made of human clay and frail human clay at that. First in comes a delega- tion of suffs with their blandishments aud their bewitching ways. Then an equally charming delegation of ants invade the sanctum. It's pretty hard to tell which group to vote for. l can hardly blame John Rodemeyer for talk ing refuge in the marriage game. One moment, Joseph; what's the inn plication here? It should be potently natent to any man, that the fellow who enters the marriage game" as a "refuge'' from sutfs and anti-suffS is ant to find himself, like the mackerel +T, the monastery, "out of the frying pan into the friar. '
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
Duty We'll Done.

A lumber buyer was staying over night in a httle farm house in the backwoods of Northern Geoygia. The man of the house did nothing but sit by the fKe and chew tobacco. The lumberman had told him he had held his job for seven years.
 "You got me beat" said the old cracker. "I've only held mine for six years
 What is your job ?" asked the lum- herman.
 "Oh, sit by de fire and watch dat de kids don't fall in."
 "What do you do in the summer ?'' he asked.
 Il sit by de well and pull de kids out when dey falls in."
 "What will you do when the children grow up and don't need watching 7" Inc asked. Den 1 s'pose I'd goner take things easy and retire." he said. phia Public Ledger, =. r.-.-
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
For all we Spend and Give.


 Life brings us few returns For all we spend and give So cries the heart that burns To live and more than live. And vet through all its burst Of antic grief and tear, Down deep amid the worst That happens to us here There's always some sweet shane Of laughter and of cheer To compensate our care! TTis true we give is much,. Our labor and our gleam--. But though in vain we clutch, At substance or at dream,. Iris we'll in that long endI. Or brief career, to know We had perhaps one friend Whom it were good to, know; And maybe knew an hour Of perfect peace and joy A morning with a flower, Or romping girl or bowl Life brings us small Deturns Instead of few-perhaps. If all the spirit yearns Were poured into, oun laps Our sated hours would fly So cloyed, we might not feel That honey of the sky
 Upon our palates steal As now with flavor fine It does in little dips That tasted of heavenly wine On our so mortsl lips!
 The Bentztown Bard
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

The Canaan troop of Boy Scouts are apparently ill shape once more to make 8 success of their local organization With R. D. Peirce as president of the Scout Council, Rev. A. B. Criehton, Scout Commissioner and Leroy Laf- fargue, Scoutmaster, if the organiza- tion goes to the wall again it will be useless to try to perpetuate the order here.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

The Bull Moosers showed no partiality in Canaan. They en- dorsed the Republican nominee for supervisor, and the Democratic nominee for town clerk.-Chatham Courier.
 Whatl The Bull Moosers of Canaan endorsed lot of candidates on both the other tickets, and worked hard for the right man for Justice of the Peace. There was no candidate for supervisor, and the town clerk held over.
 P. s. On closer inspection it ap- pears that the above refers to Canaan, N. Y.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

In his warning against a coming earthquake, Uncle Horace Johnson shouts, "All hands stand from under T" In view of the generally understood habits of the earthquake, he might more aptly have admonished all hands to "dodge from over'
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

Ordinarily the Hartfor1 Couraut is not vulnerable to the charge of loatl- ness to call things by their right names not excepting the, proverbiai spade. That's why we are more amazed than indignant at its reference to this paper as the Commercial Western News.'
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

The hole into which we are to beconsigned is to be seventy five feet deep. And the editor is only six feet two inches. How will the remainder of the space in that big hole be utilized ?-Shore Line Times.
 We reckon it will require the other sixty-eight feet ten inches of filling tc keep Scholey down. Is that the an' swer?
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
Standing Firm.

Hs was one of those jollVs goodr natuEed fat men so common to the East Tenth street car line. But he loved to ar2zls and stood firnly by his convic- ticns. He was aEguing with an &C., quaintance, and strict neutrality was being maintained with difficulty. He insisted it was only the lack of an efit- cient army than kept Italy from enter ing the European conflict. The other held that Italy had no desire to enter the arena.
 "Well," said the fat man, Italy may get into the fight soon, for the Turks are her worst enemies ''
 Nothing to that" said the other. "Only last week Italy reaffirmed her neutrality"
 Well, you'll see," said the fat man, "I tell you Italy is standing or the brink of an abscess.' y
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
MISCELLANEOUS

GENERAL. Laundry work, blankets bed quilts. Satisfaction guaranteed. Mrs. J, F, Cudney. RARE COINS AND POSTAGE STAMPS A uraitium list of prices paid. Yours for dime at The tanaan Printing Co.
 WANTED Competent woman for general housewur; Cool wages to the right party. Mrs I. n. Rorahack. Canaan.
 TO RENT-.Three rooms and pantry lower floor, I,'. .. 5,lsa. SG A month. A \ Hubbard. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT optlcian will be at Mrs NJ A. Halls. Falls Village, Mar,h 10, n; and at Fords Music Store. Canaan, March l2, l3
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
THE SUFFRAGE AMENDMENT

The legislative sensation of the past ment to the State Constitution, giving women the right of universal franchise. Never before was such intense and widespread interest manifested in the subject of woman suffrage, as proved by the immense crowds who attended the hearings, and the quality of argu- ment presented by both suffragists and antis, who were listened to, impartially, by the committee on suffrage.
 One significant feature. from the suf- fragist standpoint, was the presenta- tion of a petition containing the sigma lures of 39, 900 persons in Connecticut, each over 21 years of age, praying for the passage of the amendment. This petition was signed by suffragists ill every one of the 168 towns in the state, and a large majority of these towns were represented at the hearing by delegations of suffragists.
 Such tremendous showing of suf- frage sentiment, throughout the state, it would seem, cannot wisely or safely be disregarded by either the committee or the House of Representatives.; and in view of the stupendous amount of argument advanced and the formida- ble array of facts, figures and results shown in those states where universal suffrage is an established institution, it would seem not only unwise but futile to longer defer the submission to the voters of the state, of a matter that must inevitably come before them sooner or later, and rather sooner than later if the signs of the times are read aright. With the example set by seventeen state legislatures this winter including the great states of New York, Massachusetts and New Jersey, which have voted similar amendments to their final passage, to be voted on by the people at the next election-and in the face of the expressed sentiment of the 168 towns, the representatives, by turning down the amendment at this time, would misrepresent their towns and place their state in the attitude portrayed by the ox-cart in the recent suffrage parade in Hartford, that tagged along behind the column, with adorned the lugubrious legend: Connecticut, trying to catch upp'
 Even the wobblers should refrain from becoming panicky over what may be reflected in their distorted vision as 8 calamity; for with favorable action at this time, there would be time enough for them to become converted before their eyes behold the glory of the coming of the ladies to the polls at state and national elections. It's a long way to Tipperary. If the amendment is passed by the present House it must come up again for action at the next session of the legislature, two years hence, and must then receive a two thirds affirmative vote of both House and Senate before it is finally on its way to the voters of the state. Then comes the supreme, real test of the question whether the people of the state want it. This will be decided by town elections, and every voter in the state will have chance to register his choice and have it counted. So that if the amendment has smooth sledding all the way, and encounters not single ob- structive "thank- ye-ma' 'am," it will take at least four years to make uni versal franchise in Connecticut a con- summated fact.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
NORTH CANAAN HAS

population of a,171, Census of 101O.) Two railroa<.s.
 National and Sovings Banks. Trolley railroad extending through the Berkshires to Pittsfeld and beyond. Up-to-date High School and drst-class school system. Five churches. First-class hotel.
 Fire department. including chemical en zine.
 Ten miles of State Roads.
 Electric light and power plant. Complete Sewer System.
 Fever-failing water supply and the best water in the stase.
 Wide-awake Business Mems Association. Extensive lime and iron industries. Fraterna} and bepeft societies. Brass band.
 Up-to-date department stores. Pure air and wholesome climate.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
MAILS CLOSE, GOING

MAILS CLOSE. GOING North East South West e:41 am 8:f1 a.m g.: 13 am 10:1T a. III 6:4Op.m 3:66 pm 2:30 pm 6:38 pm
 MAILS OPEN, FROM North East South West 0;15 am 9:OO am 1o:13a.m 9:15am 9:1op pm 1o:5o am 7:2op.m 4:25 D. ID
 7:15p.m
 Mail closes on Route No. 1. R. F. D. ct 1o:9o 0. m. For Southfleld and Mill River at p. m.
 E. l.. ROBERTS, P. M.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

Teacher, teacher Willie and Benny is fighting like anything!" Stop that, you boys! You're a. good little girl, Lena to tell me-"
 '1Yes. teacher. But wouldn't tell ,you only Benny was gettin' licked. "- Gieveland Plain Dealer.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
The needless infantile death Tate

The needless infantile death rate owing to neglect and ignorance costs this country $a.00o, 900 a day.--Hartford Times.
 If this means that we are losing $3, 900, 900 worth of babies day, by what process of computation is the estimate arrived at?
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

The Meriden Journal wants to know "What has become of the old-fashioned man who used to say, You are gen. tleman and a scholar ? :" He's proba- bly, lying low and wondering what has become of the old-fashioned man who was gentleman and scholar.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
"Is that a genuine antique ?"

"Yes, replied the dealer.
 "Why, here's a mark that indicates it was made only 90 years ago"
 "Ws are living in a very rapid age It doesn't take nearly as long to make an antique as it used to. to."-Washing- ton Star.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
rHE NEWS. AGENTS

" F. N6~o ASG W - Extra copies of The News are on sale at the sdAce of publication and at
 Dempsey's Drug Store, Canaan, Post Office, East Canaan. D. H. Oakes' Store, Lakeville, Post Office, Falls Village, George T. Johnsons Store, Norfolk Scutt & Rood. Ashley Falls. A L. Dickinson, Salisbury. J. W. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

"Seven men out of every ten are con founded bores !'' emphatically declared Alexander Akinside, the dyspeptic dis sertationist.
 "Why except the other three :'' snarled ]. Fuller Gloom, the widely known and cordially detested misan, thrope
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM

The News should appeal with special force to the saeacious business nan.
 It has an extensive circulation in Western Connecticut, and especially throughout Litch- nead County and Southern BerIshire.
 It has a competent stan of wide-awake cor vospondents in the various towns to report the ocai doings each week, aRd goes into the homes cad Is perused by the entire families of the thrifty, intelligent, reading class of people whom she long headed advertiser most desires to reach.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

Old lady (meeting two little boys)- Why, Johnnie, how very dirty you are! How is it that your little brother is so much cleaner than you are ?"
 Johnnie-"Well, you see, he's three years younger. Judge.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

"Your father seems to look upon me with disfavor. "
 Mot exactly that. More like curi, osity, ''-Buffalo Express.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
SURETY.
BY EMMA RoDEMEYER WAIT.

Oh, let us be sure of ourselves, my friends,
 And as valiantly take stand For principles that time can never efface,
 And cling with an unerring hand. Oh, let us not vacillate with every tide,
 Nor be swayed by each passing gale; Upheld by conviction, and firm as a rock
 The right will, then, surely prevail.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

Subscribers are requested to notify the pub Nsher promptly of any failure to receive papers seg ularly, changes of residence etc.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
wRiTE'a LETTER ABOUT

Communications ON subjects of general inter est to The News readers are invited, but nc sEtention will be paid to anonymous letters.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
Letters From the People
A Denial.
To the Editor of The News:

we are accused of being in league with and backed by the liquor interests of this state This statement is so en- tirely false and absolutely without foundation in fact that feel no state ment is required from me except posi- tive denial of it's truth.
 Grace G. Markham.
 President Connecticut Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage.
 Hartford, March 8.
 Those Lectures.
 To the Editor of The News:
 Extract from The Social Teaching of Jesus, by Matthew's: "Here is the most significant fact in all Christ's ethical teachings While every great principle of equity and love is embodied in his doctrines, on one subject only he gave repeated, concrete, illustrations. He showed that there is no sex in sin; that man and woman stand equally guilty in any sinful act There IS no room in the moral standard, as recog- nized by Christ for a condemnation of woman that is not equally condemna- tion of man. Redemption of woman is as real and as complete as redemp- tion of man. The woman who is for given is forgiven much and as fully as man. When Jesus is the judge re- deemed woman returns to home and society on precisely the same terms as a redeemed man. Yet from Christ's day down to the present day society has joined the father in greeting the returned prodigal son with the best robe and festival. No such welcome is given the returned daughter, even when her Iall is the fall of victim, and not that of a wilful prJdigal. Christ showed how unjust this is. He wei comed into the inner circle of his friend ship, Magdalene; and as if to empha- size his attitude on the subject, he gave a special message of pity and welcome to each of the sinful women who come to Him, and that one who was disgrace fully brought to him by men, He sentJ away with joy and peace in her heart, while her accusers-hardened and un- made to feel the sting of accusation and judgment. He had refused to judge women, but he had judged a whole crowd of men"
 Need we comment on the Christians s religion and it's strange ignoring of Christ's example? No. but we want to call attention to this, that if Christ had been the judge in a recent atrocious case of immortality in our midst it is quite probable that the crowd Os men would have been condemned and not the one woman. And while we are about it, we wish to thank through the of The News those men and women who came to hear Dr. Psrker's wonderful lecture on the Double Stand ard of Morals. That more did not hear it is Canaan's moral loss, and no Loss whatever to this most noble and splen- did woman who speaks before large audiences in an ever increasing number of our towns and cities. Mrs. Parker is expected to return to Canan andt per haps to repeat that same lecture, which would not cause blush to come to- the face of any pure-minded person. If the extract given above is impure or unclean then Mrs. Parker's lecture was, for her line of argument ran along parallel lines with that of the great Matthews. B. H.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
THURSDAY. MARCH II. 1915.

They are slaves who fear to speak For the fallen and the weak, They are slaves who dare not be
 In the right with two or three. Lowell.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11
Csnt-a-Word Advertisements
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-Good work horse Robert RngsB, Canaan Valley.
Connecticut western news., 1915-03-11

IFOR SAI.E-f0 casks of cider at S4.50 per cask- i D. J. Emmons, Canaan Valley.