davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
TAKING M FROM DAMN
DOES NOT TAKE THE CURSE OFF
BY ANY MEANS.
When One Doesn't Care a. Well.
Even Thinkers Dam" Is Bad
Language to Say the
Best About II.

A contributor to the Sun grieves
over the ignorance of those who as
sumo that "tinkers dam" is a ''pro-
fame expression" A tinker's dam.
says he, was chunk of dough or bat
ter used before the days of muriatic
acid to keep the solder from spread
ing; and as the solder commonly did
spread nevertheless, the tinker's dam
was as nearly worthless as the COM
mon expression of disesteem for 1t
implies. He differentiates it from the
common or garden damn and says:
There is no profanity about it,
But not to care a tinker's dam is
Just as profane as not to care MAYER
lex damn, unbranded with ownership
by tinkers or others. Taking the IN"
out OF damn does not take the curse
OF. II it is profane not to care a
damn, 1t is just as profane not to care
whittier, jabberwock, COOP, or any
other illegitimate and unsanctioned
word. When one stentoriously enun-
ciates his refusal to appraise the ar
ticle under discussion at the value of
damn, he is not swearing or ours
ing; he is literally using bad language,
for, in the sense he means, there is
no such noun as damn. We know
what tinker's dam is, but what is
damn? When one says he does not
care a whoop, he is far more definite.
for there is such a thing as a whoop.
Whence arose the idea that not caring
damn was being profane, and why
do persons who do not care one plume
themselves on their devilishness?
1t is not profane, but it has the
sound of being profane, and that is all
that is needed. An individual who
would not for the world have used
blasphemous language used to relieve
his feelings by pronouncing the name
of one of Wagner's operas in a tone
that caused neighboring windows to
fall in, and "Gotterdammerung' gave
him as much satisfaction as If he had
violated a commandment. And who
was the man who always swore by
Charles G. d. Roberts and Josephine
Dodge Daskam because they sounded
so profane? There is an excellent
Methodist in this town who severely
reprehends profanity whenever he
hears it, but who produces all the eff
feet of shocking blasphemy by the i'm
Uttered emphasis he lays on the ex-
clamation, For governments sake!"
Colonel Roosevelt plumes himself on
his abstinence from profanity, but
none of the unregenerate ever got
sNch satisfaction out of a real cuss
word as he does out of by Godfrey"
No, tinker's dam belongs in the COM
fort-giving galaxy of profane refugees
for the emotions; and that is the
worst you can say of the other damn.
New York Times
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
The Bible in Russia

The holy synod at Petrograd has
been busily engaged in the work of
producing popular editions Of the
Bible. These are being widely dis
tributed by the Orthodox church
among soldiers on the battle field as
well as to the sick and wounded.
Various Russian Red Cross aid asso-
Citations are including Bibles and
Testaments In their parcels of com
forts" for troops at the front, and
as the available stock of the British
and Foreign Bible society has be-
came exhausted, the holy synod is
undertaking the work Of printing
fresh editions. Should this wave of
enthusiasm for the propagation of
the Holy Scriptures prove more than
a passing phase we may look for
ward to a revival of intelligent re-
ligious instruction in Russia.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

GAY! Did you ever sit around in
~ the Pullman Car and study few
paragraphs from the worlds most IA
nous text book-human nature?
Go after it the first chance you get
you'll learn at lot.
For instance, during a trip recently
on one of Mr.. Pullman's sleep-wagons
i soon learned that the brisk and
breezy crew in the seats around me
were commercial travellers, and they
were tanning each other with fairy
tales about the goods they sold.
/ learned that the one who looked
like human apple was affectionately
known as Slim because he's so fat
that every time he turns around he
meets himself coming back.
And it wasn't hard to learn that
the tall one with the sandy hair was
Nick Dalrymple, who goes after the
orders for hardware house in
Columbus and knows everybody in
the world-bar one family living in
Yonkers.
Then there was Tod Gilpin, who
cuts ice for a match factory in New
ark, and he's the life of small party.
Tod's main hold is to creep into
the reading room" of a RUDE hotel
after the chores are done of an eve
ming and throw salve at the come-ons.
Tod tells them that their town is the
brightest spot on the map, and they
warm up to him and, want to buy him
sarsaparilla and root beer. Then
when he gets them stuck on them
selves he sells them matches.
Presently | learned that the party
with the mauve forehead and the
magenta mustache was Mutt Daw-
son-the most reckless spendthrift
with his words and the meanest man
to the English language [ ever
listened to-
The Dream Builders Association
was in full session when Wedge Muir
ray caromed over and weighed-in with
the party.
Wedge is a saucy little party, five
foot four, with three foot shoulders.
He thinks he strikes twelve on all
occasions, but his timepiece is an
hour slow.
| learned that Wedge sells canned
shirt waists for the Shine Brothers,
and If he's ever let into the firm it
will be as a brother.
Wedge is one of those goose-headed
ginks who scratch gravel and start
in to make killing every time they
see a pretty girl.
Across the aisle sat two pet ca
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
SEEING LIFE W1h
f1Na JOHN HENRY
* VIZ ~ Geo1qeXHobart
K1X\1AH}f1 John Henry on Human Nature
John Henry on Human Nature

telegram to your wife in Logansport. .
Curtain.
OF course the fact that Wedge didn't
have a wife in Logansport or else
where made no difference He couldn t
prove an alibi, so he faded out into
the day coach and became as one
who isn't.
The Roast-Beef Sisters seemed to
be all carved up about something O"
other
While these more or less grin-pro-
ducing incidents were occurring there
was ever present In my own noodle
the grim reality that bedtime was ap-
preaching and | had drawn an upper
berth.
Say! I'll be one of a party of six
to go before Congress and tell all |
know about an upper berth
The upper berth in a sleeping car
is the same relation to comfort that
a carpet tack Is to bare foot.
AS a place to tie up small bundle
of sleep boiler factory has it beat
to a whimper.
Strong men weep every time the
ticket agent says, Nothing left but
an upper" and lovely women have
Mysteries and begin to make faces
at the general public when the colored
porter points up in the air and says,
Madam, your eagles nest is ready
far up the mountainside."
While the porter was cooking UP
my attack of insomnia | went out in
the smoking room to drown my sor-
row, but l found such a bunch of sor-
row killers out there ahead of me that
had to hold the comb and brush in
my lap and sit up on the towel rack
while | took a little smoke.
Did you ever notice on your trav-
els that peculiar hog on the train who
pays two dollars for a berth and al
ways displaces eight dollars worth
Of space in the smoking car?
If he would bite the end Of piece
of rope and light up occasionally he
wouldn't be so bad, but nix on the
smoke for him.
He simply sits there with face like
a fish and keeps George Nicotine
and all the real rag burners from en-
joying a smoke.
If ever a statue is needed of the pa
triot Buttinski I would suggest a
model in the person Of the smokeless
smoker who always travels In the
smoking car.
Two busy gazabes were discussing
politics when 1 squeezed into the
smoker on this particular occasion
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

he laughed teethfully and hit me on
the shins with stepladder.
The spectacular gent who occupied
the star chamber beneath my garnet
was sleeping as noisily as possible,
and when l started up the stepladder
he began to render Mendelssohn' 8
obbligato for the trombone in the key
of G.
Above the roar of the train from
away off in lower No family could
hear an answering bugle call
| climbed up prepared for the worst
and in the twinkling of an eye the
porter removed the stepladder and
there / was, sitting on the perilous
edge of my pantry shelf with nothing
to comfort me save the exhaust of a
professional snorer.
After about five minutes devoted to
parade of all my sins, | began to
try to extract my personality from my
coat, but when ! pushed my arm up
in the air to get the sleeve loose my
knuckle struck the hardwood finish
and I fell backward on the cast-iron
pillows, breathing hoarsely like a
busy jackrabbit.
| waited about ten minutes while
my brain was bobbing back and forth
with the excitement of running fifty
miles an hour over a careless part of
the country, and then l cautiously
tried to approach my shoe laces.
Say! If you're a man and you
weigh in the neighborhood of 200
pounds, most of which is in the re-
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

II heir Names Were Mile and TilIie.'
gion OF the equator, you will appre
ciate what it means to lie on your
back in an upper berth and try to get
your shoes off,
And this goes double for the man
who weighs more than 200 pounds.
Every time / reached for my feet
to get my shoes off I bumped my
head off; SO | decided that in order
to keep my head on l had better keep
my shoes on also.
Then / tried to divorce my suspend
ers from my shoulders but just as l
got the suspenders half way over my
head | struck my crazy bone on the
rafters, and there | was, suspendered
between heaven and earth, but pray
ing with all my heart for a bottle of
arnica.
ture made me, with all my clothes on,
including my rubbers
So l stretched out, but just then the
train struck a curve and | went up in
the air till the ceiling hit me, and
then | bounced over to the edge of
the precipice and hung there, trem-
bling on the verge.
Below me all was dark and gloomy
and only by the hoarse groans Of the
snorers could l tell that the Pullman
company was still making money.
Luck was with me, however, for Just
then the train struck an in-shoot
curve which pushed me to the wall,
and l bumped my head so completely
that l fell asleep
When l woke up a small package
of daylight was peeping into the car,
so l decided to descend from my cup
board shelf at once.
| peeped out through the aluminium
curtains, but there was no sign of
the colored porter and the stepladder
was invisible to the naked eye
The car was peaceful now, with the
exception Of gent in lower No. 4,
who had strangle hold on a Bee
thoven sonata and was beating the
cadence out Of it.
| made short prayer and conclud-
ed to fall out, but just then one of my
feet rested on something solid; so |
put both feet on it and began to step
down.
Alas, however, the moment l put
my weight on it my stepping stone
gave way and fell overheard with a
splash.
How dare you put your feet on my
head?" yelled the man on the ground
moor of my bedroom.
Excuse me. 1t felt like something
wooden" | whispered, while dashed
madly for the smoker.
From that day to this l have never
been able to look a Pullman car in the
face, and whenever anybody mentions
an upper berth to me l lose my pres
ence of mind and get peevish.
If you have ever been there your
self 1 know you don't blame me!
Do you?
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
Enchanted VALPARAISO.

The night view of Valparaiso from
the balconies of the cliff dwellers is
one of the great sights Of the world
The vast sickle of the shore lit for
nearly two hundred thousand people,
the scores of ocean vessels lying at
anchor, the harbor lights, the glowing
avenues below from which rises mel
lowed the roar of nocturnal traffic, the
ripping water under the moonlight
and the far horizon Of the illimitable
Pacific produce an effect of enchant-
ment.-Edward Ellsworth Ross South
of Panama"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

and I judge they both had lower
berths; otherwise their minds would
have been busy with dark and per-
sonal fears Of the future
Well" exclaimed the gabby one
from Kansas City, what is politics?
Well, what is it?"
Politics" replied Wise Willie from
Providence, politics is where we get
it-sometimes in the bank, sometimes
in the neck!"
Everybody present peeled the cover
off loud laugh and the smokeless
hog at the window stole four inches
extra space so that he could shake
more when he giggled.
Well" resumed the inquisitive per-
son from Kansas City, what is a poll
tician? Do you know? Eth, well,
what is politician?"
"a politician" replied the fat man
from Providence, "a politician is the
reason we have so much politics"
Much applause left the hands of
those present, and the smokeless hog
turned sideways so that he could
make the others more uncomfortable.
Perhaps" insinuated gabby Jim
from Kansas City, perhaps you know
what a statesman is, eh?"
a statesman is a politician in good
luck" was the comeback from our
fat friend from Providence, and in
the enthusiasm which followed the
smokeless hog found out there was no
buffet car on the train, so he offered
to buy the drinks.
Don't you believe that all men are
born equal?" inquired the Kansas City
tie.
Yes, but some of them have pull
enough to get over it, responded the
Providence philosopher; whereupon
the smokeless hog by the window
took out flask and began to dampen
his conscience.
Just then the towel rack fell with
crash, and after l picked up the
comb and brush and myself / decided
to retire to my bracket on the wall
and try to sleep.
When / left the smoker the smoke
less hog was occupying two and a
half seats and was now busy breath
ing in some secondhand cigarette
smoke which nobody seemed to care
for
How do / reach my Alpine buTlga-
low?' | said to the porter, whereupon
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

naries from Plainfeld, New Jersey.
They were members of the Soubrette
Singing Society, and they were en-
route to the West to join the Bunch
of Birds Burlesque Company"
Their names were Mile and Tillie,
and they wore Feather Buster hats,
and did a sister act that contained
more bad grammar than an East Side
pinochle game.
Mile was fully aware that she
could back Duse off the map, and
Title was ready to bet a weeks sal
airy that she could make Bernhard
feel like she was out in the storm we
had day before yesterday
Tod called them the Roast-Beef Sis
tiers, Rare and Well-done.
In minute the castors on Wedges
neck began to turn.
Nick put the others wise with a
wink, so they lit the fire and began
to cook it up.
Wedges heart was warming for the
birds in the gilded cage.
Nothing into it," said Slim. It's
a plain case of Appomattox The war
is over and they are yours, Wedgei"
Wedge turned a few more volts into
his twinkling lamps
Lower your mainsail, Wedge, and
drop alongside; you've made the
landing suggested Nick.
Wedge began to feel his necktie
and play patty-cake with the little
bald spot on the top of his head
stop the hanson and get out;
you're at your corner" said Tod.
The Sweet Dreams across the way
were giving Wedge the glorious eye
roll, and he felt that dinner was
ready.
Hang up your hat. Wedge, and
gather the myrtle with Mary" Slim
Clipped in.
Then Wedge bounced over and be-
gan to show Mile and Title what a
handsome brute he was at close quar-
tiers.
He sat on the arm of the seat and
steamed up.
In less than a minute he crowded
the information on them that he was
q millionaire who had escaped from
Los Angeles, California, and he was
Just going to put theINboth In grand
opera, when Slim toddled over to
him and said: Next stop Eriei You
told me to remind you to send that
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
Novel Porch Liuht.

A porch lamp of new type, just
placed on the market, is made to be
installed inside the building so that it
is not only protected from the weather,
but serves to illuminate the hall or
front room as well as the porch. The
lamp is mounted inside the wall adj
jacent to the porch. Part of the light
is diffused through the room, while a
part OF the horizontal rays are trans
m1tted through IL inch tube to
globe mounted on the outside of the
wall, where, with the aid of reflector,
porch.-Popular Mechanics
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

equal the student engaged in a man
ual study should develop the almost
divine instinct and gift OF invention
more readily than one not so engaged
and the greater the Intelligence the
greater the exercise of invention This
is demonstrated particularly in den
lists, body of men of superior intel
ligence, whose profession tends to in
crease their growth along mechanical
lines. Many inventions are made by
dentists, not only along dental lines,
but in other directions. But invention
is unconfined to employments or voca-
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
MANUAL STUDY ADVANTAGE
That 1t Must Promote the Mind TIC In
vention Seems to Be Self
Evident.

The principal of technical high
school says that invention does not
frequently manifest itself in the stu
dents of manual training. Probably
this is true also Of other students and
it may be fact or It may simply be
a report of a failure to observe the
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
Caddy Is Doomed.

The doom of the caddy is read in
the invention Of d. and X. Roberts OF
Grantham, England. They have pat
ented an adjustable golf stick, with
interchangeable heads, so that it will
be necessary for the player to carry
only the stick and as many heads as
he wishes to use. Even the number
of heads is cut down by having two
striking faces on each, either Of
which may be used.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

Father" said the small boy, what's
the difference between patriot and
jingo?"
"A patriot, my son, is willing to
fight on principle; lingo wants some
body else to fight on general princi-
Pies"
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

tions and crops out wherever the
spark glows in the production of some
advance in the arts or contribution to
the worlds sum Of novel ideas.-Scien-
tific American.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24

During Col Theodore Roosevelt's
visit to the San Diego exposition he
was much impressed when an Indian
boy born two hours before the former
president arrived at the Painted
Desert" on the exposition grounds,
was christened Theodore Roosevelt.
The colonel took part in the ceremony
and seemed to enjoy it immensely.
With his customary emphasis he de-
clared This is the finest Indian boz
ever looked at" The photograph
shows the mother, Haria Trujile, 40
Acoma Indian, holding the infant in
a blanket while the former president
admires it.
The Watertown weekly leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-24
Mating.

Rub every two or three months with
salt water lukewarm, and dry quickly
with a clean cloth.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-09-21
Golf in the Old Days.

Centuries back golf was "a pastime of the royal family, though then usu- ally played in Scotland. The Stuart family was very fond of the game, and the first English club was estab- lished at Blackheath in 1908 by James l. His eldest son, Henry, frequently played and on one occasion nearly struck by accident his tutor with a club, wl1ereupon he coolly remarked, s'Had done so I had but paid my debts.'' Charles I! was playing golf when he received the news of the Irish rebellion. James, duke of York, after ward James IT., was another ardent player. Golf is frequently mentioned in ancient Scottish records and in the fifteenth century was prohibited be cause it interfered with the practice of archery. Strutt considered it the most ancient game at ball requiring a bat London Standard.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-09-21
LAUNDERING. REPORTERS.
Mistakes That ManeIed the Speakers
 Words and EeeIinqs.

Mistakes That MareIed the Speakers
 Words and Feelings
 .tDrunkenness is folly!s earnestly ex- claimed Bishop Nfagee in. the house of lords on a celebrated occasion. How mortified was the prelate to read in the papers next morning that he had given utterance to the very. bacchanalian sen timent, Drunkenness is jolly!''
 Lord Salisbury was a master phrase maker, but one of his best points was spoiled when a careless reporter turned his reference to .smanacles and Mani toba" into the meaningless ''manacles and men at the bar"
 Sir William Harcourt was badly mis- quoted once. Great is Diana of the EphesiansE' he exclaimed upon the platform, but one paper had it: "Great Dinah! What farce is this?'
 Lack of Knowledge of familiar quo tations is a prolific source of misNport- ing. For instance, speaker once made use of the well known lines from Mill toms 'tL'Allegro:"
 But come, thou goddess. fair and free, In heaven yclept Euphrosyne-
 The brilliant reporter deputed to ''take him down. was in despair. He could not make head or tail of this mysterious utterance. But, following the sound as far as possible he seized his pen and produced the following gem:
 But come, thou goddess. fair and free,
 In heaven she crept and froze her knee.
 The speaker was taken down in more senses than one.-London Answers.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-09-21
Fuss and the Weather.

The cat is an excellent barometer. When you see q cat wetting it's paw in its mouth and then rubbing it energet- ically over the upper part of it's ear you may feel pretty certain that rain is coming. This action is pussy's method of relieving the uncomfortable feeling in it's ears caused by the change in the atmospheric pressure which precedes a storm. If the unpleasant feeling in the ear were due to a foreign substance then the cat would scratch the ear with it's hind foot But when pussy scrubs it's ear with it's saliva moistened paw it is when rain is impending.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-09-21

fitting men for the naturalization ez- animation of September 29 and 30, copies of the constitution of the Unit ed States will be distributed; also lists of elected government, state and local officials, the names of whom the men are expected to be familiar with. Charles A. Hopwood will be in charge of the group.
 The Y. M. c. A. is getting ready to start it's volunteer schools for the study of English. It is the desire of the association to supplement the work done by the public schools among the men of Bridgeport. This work had it's inception several years ago, but each year it is aimed to con duct more classes and have more men enrolled Arrangements are being completed for the opening of such a school among a group of Russians on the East Side. In such ways as these, the association seeks to be of most help to the foreign speaking men of Bridgeport.