The Pulaskian., 1915-02-05

Currs and push back the Forelock and try to be Human
 No use. He was strictly Ritz-Carl- ton from the Pumps to the Topper, but the word Boob" was stenciled right across the glossy Front.
 When they had conquered all the Eating-Places in the Tenderloin they moved on to Europe, where they were just as welcome as Influenza
 It was great to sit in the Savoy at the Supper Hour, surrounded by the best known people mentioned in the Court Circulars.
 It was indeed privilege for Elam and Claudine to be among the British Cousins, even if the British Cousins did not seem to place Elam and Claudine.
 Looking in any direction they could see naught but frosty and forbidding Shoulder-Blades.
 After partaking of their Sole and Grouse and winning a pleasant Good Night" from the Chevalier in the Check-Room, they would escape to their Apartments and talk to the Dog.
 In Paris they did better.
 They learned that by going out on the Boulevard and whistling, they could summon a whole Regiment of high-born and patrician Down-and- Cutters.
 Most of the Titles were slightly worm-eaten and spotted with Fungi, but nevertheless Genuine
 It was Nuts for Claudine to as- semble all the Noblemen to be picked up around the Lobby and gave them free run and jump at the Carte du Jour.
 Her Dinners soon became the talk of the Chambermaids employed in the Hotel.
 Anyone willing to cut loose on Caviar and stuff raised under Glass will never dine alone in gay Paree.
 Whenever Elam made a noise like 1000 Frongs, he found lot of we'll bred Connoisseurs at his Elbow, all ready to have something unusual brought up from the Cellar.
 The securing of an invitation to one of Claudine's formal Dinners was all most as difficult as getting into Luna Park.
 However, the list of guests sounded Real when sent back to America and printed for the entertainment of per sons living in Boarding-Houses.
 Claudine became slightly puffed When she found herself between a couple of perfumed Lads wearing Medals, she would give Friend Illus band the Office to move to one side and curl up in the Grass and not ruin the Ensemble by boring in.
 Elam was usually at the foot of the Table behind mass of Orchids. Once in while he would try to crowd into the conversation just to let them know that old Ready Money was still pres ent, but every time he came up, Dearie would do her blamedest to Bean him and put him out of the Game.
 Claudine could make a stab at the new Picture in the Salon and even run nimbly around the edge of the Futur- ist vogue
 Elam was ready to discuss Steam ship Lines or Railway Accommoda- tions, but when he was put against the Tall-Brows he began to burn low and smell of the Wick.
 Often, when surfeited with Truff1es, he would wonder what had become of the Green Corn, the K and K, the regular Chicken with Giblets, the Huckleberry Pie, the smoking Oyster Stew, and the Smearcase with Chives, such as Gusta used to send in. These reminders of a lowly Past were very distasteful.
 Once he talked in his Sleep about Goldfish Balls, and next morning she lit on him something scandalous.
 After the Parisian triumphs it seemed safe bet to return home and make new effort to mingle with the Face-Cards.