davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

made and IL was found that Schafer
had been elected. all proceedings were
dropped and Mayor Schafer was de
clared elected by a majority. c. A.
Junkins. who was contesting the cleo
ton. stated last evening that he was
perfectly satisfied with the ending OF
the case as be said that all he wanted
was fair play
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Pleada Not aniltv

Larafina Calhrzio, indicted for murder
IN the first degree. pleaded not guilty
10 the charge, before Judge smith this
morning. She told the court that she
was poor ano had no money with which
To employ counsel and the court ap-
pointed Messrs. LeNiusOn and Bigger to
defend her. The date OF the tIial VIII
be set later. Mrs. Calidizio shot and
killed Dominica Luprusa. on south sew
enth street IN September. She said In
court to-day that she shot Luprusa be-
cause he insulted her
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Granted Life Certificate.

Mis- Bird NJ. Turner. principal OF the
local High school. has received from
the State department of schools at
Charleston a State life teachers GER
tjficate. This Is awarded her for hav-
ing been actively engaged in school
work for ten years while holding a first
grade certificate. and has furnished TO
the State board OF education a record
OF her supreme ability and marked
progress while connected with public
schools
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

Word Va. received 900 this city YES
teriay t' the effect that Harry WOOD
'u.k. a. former resident Of this city. but
now of North Liberty. lnd.. had died
Goa board e. train az that place. The
Iate Nr WuudcuDt left this ,lty about
Tive years ago when he entered tine
theatrical business be is survived bs
Dos vote and parents who reside iu
<urfh Liberty.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Licenses Ready.

Commissioner Kitchener of the
county liquor license board stated last
evening that all of the licenses were
ready to be given out and that the
saloonkeepers can have same by call
ing at his office There Is great
deal of interest displayed in this city
as TO who will be the lucky one here.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

Tho Epworth f.aar1es ~ tte Wheel.
INK district held their quarterly meet.
Ing last night iu tho South BouaIrr
" g. church a fro program was
rendered Ineiudi~e an addrr.. rr Dr.
T. ~ WeCIay ~ Martin. Ferry IuH
subject waa .grf fHr Habit" BrIrea.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

The November meeting Of the Var
Icy Grove Christian Temperance
Union will be- held Wednesday AFTER
noon a. the HON cot Mrs stephen
Kennedy on Brooks Rum ~ will be
H business meeting and al members
are requested % attend
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Close Season Saturday.

The local High school football team
will close the present season next sat
urday afternoon, when they will meet
the speedy Stubenville High team on
their hom egrounds. The locals VIII
not play Thanksgiving. although Byes-
vile wanted game on this date. ana
IL is likely the members OF the squad
will see the big clash at Fairmon'.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
10 Deliver Address-

Rabbi A. ~. Silver. OF Wheeling.
will be in Bellaire and deliver an ad-
dress az the Sons Of Israel Temple on
The Significance of B'Nai BIRTH. "
The meeting will be preliminary 10
the formation Of B'Nai BRrith sons
Of the Covenant lodge among the
members Of the two Jewish congrega-
lions in this city Rabbi Silver IS a
noted speaker. and the public is invit-
ed TO attend
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
PLAY NJ. &. A. c.

Manager Ned Pickett. of the X. X.
eleven, last evening closed negotia-
lions with the North End Athletic Club
eleven. of Wheeling. for a game 10 be
played here next Saturday afternoon.
The Wheeling North Enders are quite
speedy, and will no doubt give the To-
cal outfit a regular football game.
something the local fans have not wit
messed in the last month or so.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
VIII Purchase Bell

The young men and boys OF the
kirkwood Heights church are giving
moving pictures in the church, the
proceeds 10 be used TO purchase bell
for the edIfice. The church will be
dedicated Sunday and an effort will
b. made 70 have the bell by that time
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Repair Old Land Mark

Mr. Beatty. OF Indiana. is in the city
on business and IS having his old
property on Western avenue. known
as the Beatty brick. and which is one
of the land marks of that vicinity.
repaired so that II will again be habl-
table. The souse is fast crumblng
away and IL will take considerable
work TO put it in first class condition
again
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

Funeral services were held yesterday
morning from the NorkVine NJ ~.
church. over the remains OF tar late YES
Henry Brown. who died SUNDAY uDtu-
INK. after lingering illness. The ser
vices were in charge Of the pastor Of IN.
church ana iut,rmcut was iu plan
cemetery.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Has Leg Amputatsd.

Anthony Devanny. aged go employed
as lSborer on the work train on the
Fan Handle. had his left leg ground off.
at Hanlins station. Tuesday morning,
when he lost his balance and fell from a
flat car under the wheels of the train.
lie was brought to the Gill hospital ia
this city. and the mangled leg ampu-
lated at the hip. He resides In this city.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Annual Convention

The annual Wheeling district Chris-
tian Endeavor Society convention VIII
be held in the local resbyterian
church December 10 and II. Commit
tees have already been appointed 10
arrange for the affair.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

The annual union Thanksgiving SER
vice will be held al the First Presby-
terrain church Thanksgiving morning
at 1880 o'clock. The Rev. J. NJ. Crls-
well. pastor OF the Baptish church.
will deliver the sermon. while the pas
tors OF the other churches will assist
with the service.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Gates Funeral.

Funeral services for Mrs. Henry
Gates. who died Sunday at her home
will be- conducted this morning at 300
o'clock AZ the Shadyside Christian
will be shipped 20 Beallsvile for inter
church Rev. T. D. Zimmerman VIII
conduct the services. The remains
ment
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
MARTINS FERRY


The kellar A. g. football team. ~
we upper part Of the city. has arranged
q last game FOR saturday Afternoon OF
this week on the mill field. The Maid
con 4. a. team. OF Wheeling. Will De
tn"lr opponents AMI The game will no
-aLn NOT boon .-n-nl Ln mi. L.ar-
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
nIarriaRs Licenaea.

arr'ss ,. Ash. 80. and Margaret Il.
Richard Divodo %. and Mamie Roma-
no. a. both 81 MiuE1 Junction. John
larkin a. Stsub'uviIle. and Mary 81
% hri'u. 90. Toronto. Ardell Cross %.
80. OF MI Pleasant
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

A large crowd attended the entertain
merf given iu th. First presuyterlar
church last evening by the Childrert4
Bethel uf ~withfield. AMI % proved B.,
very .niuEatl. event. s. ueat sum Rs-
realized On tho event. whiHn viii go ta-
ward the church
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Arranging for Aaemor,sl.

arrangements Tor their annual memorial
services which viii bee hell tnr 'ir-t
sunday 100 December Eut place fur
holding the affair has not boon Sos bun
it vii. uu doubt bee held m tho htlI
srnuU. auditorium
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

Robert -rhraum I. Ul uIfH append.
.fa 10 hif homo ou Harrison ffrrff
Sire D o. $rn piI entertain frr
Music Literature and Art club .. Hrr
Hrr homo Friday afternoon p.e.
mouth Hsa Will n. fr. .Ih.... .Dr
discussion
Deputy H's'rI. Collector Guy r.
Lynch. of wood aUsId uaa visitor
Dol fIr ,.f. yesterday
The EaIuou. County Pharmaceutical
faso,Ianor 900 bold 4 meeting .r f..
Commercial club room. u.. afternoon
NIr Emma F.IH entertained 80
members of 'hs FHIafn.f H.lI. ..1.#
q" 'H' Second Ir..h.'.rHr church
.a.I evening af Hsr home ur Gravel
HI
Size Do A vrg.-r.a .rf ... u..
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

, AAaNN human fH
iant And Tor Dr.
Ielfon every rrt
s'l'd rcmcmher o.
Whatever ig done
en- TIE mother. o. b..
iere her Of d'sirs o.
during her TRIM
months. vii surely II
of marked bcncft
TIE child
Among IRE si~ q
nis n splendid f..
tcrnal remedy t0ar
Mothers FrffrF'
n ia wt-t is ca''ef rt
en- HHs.HH.a-
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

For the first time since the coal strike
was settled there Is mo- strikes or Eriev-
arces on 40 any OF the mines iu the dis
trlrt While nearly all Uf the mines
are worhiug there are still large mum
Der OF idle miners iu the district. hut
they viii be- given employment soon.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Bible Class to Meet.

The Mems Bible class OF the First
NJ. +. church will hold an important
meeting this evening in the sunday
school room OF the church. 4 fun at
tendance of the mem bers is urged
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17
Election Contests

IE'Te - much interest IA hearings set
Tor probate court Wednesday, when the
election contests IN Mt. Pleasant and
warren townships. will be decided II
the contentious of the plaintiffs are up
held. tho election OF justices in both
these townships will be invalid and an
other election necessary
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

Joe H0Ig. who was Iusd $50" and
costs Monday stsuIrE uu Ius chars. of
operating ausaElfar Ir fH. upper part
Of the citf. made arrangements tu pay
his fuc yesterday morning HrI was re.
leaa from Jail $50 session off police
court was held IIH. evening
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

Funeral services Tor Sire James
l"azuro. Who died Saturday morning
were held yesterday afternoon or nor
late home ou Washington .Irsrf Ile
services were largely attended Infar
mont wac made Ir Rose 1000 s,mefry
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

The county commissioners to-day
awarded the contract Tor the super
structure FOR the Meatherson brfdg.
over short creek IN Warren township. TO
the Riverside Bridge Company. OF Mar
Tins Ferry. %. This company's bid was
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

OF tho poor for Webster district viii
be appointed and county claims will
be audited.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

lions were in attendance from all the
towns N this section. and a very sue
cessful and profitable meeting re-
suited
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1915-11-17

high school football game which viii
be played on the League arrk Thanks
giving morning The Minerva team has
been booked FOR that day and owing t0
the fact that the ~ hceliuE- Eellairv
game will De on In the afternoon the
contest will be staged ln the morning
and will no doubt be- witnessed by "a
large crowd
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
The Mystery Solved.

N the midst of Brill's grateful res
olutions came a gentle tap upon
the cabin door. Stebbins started
up from his caressing Of the bits
of wire and the slender steel rod in his
hands and looked at his patron for in
structions.
Brill signed to him to open the door.
1t might be the corrupted jailer, he
thought. At any rate, 1t was best not
to show himself.
Aristides performed his duty with
great caution. In an instant he turned
and said in an eloquent whisper:
Miss Jennison. sir"
Brillis heart seemed to rise n en-
gorge his throat. What evil circum-
stance had brought the girl to the
cabin at such q time as this?
The girl came into the cabin. her
eyes filled with something that spoke
or trouble and with n very manifest
hush on her fair cheeks. Brill saw
the two emotions and hardly knew
which to consider first. But Marion
Jennison left him no time for specula-
ton.
i went TO your room-there was no
time to send" she said in little, nery-
GUS phrases, land when l rapped-a
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

ct in an instant, and Brill began cut
ting at the ropes that bound the man
In the berth. In the midst of the work
came a knock. followed by the seamew
call. Stebbins opened the door, and
Marsh entered.
His keen eyes noted at once the
strangeness of Brill's attitude, and he
crossed to the berth and looked In.
His face paled, and his expressive lips
twitched violently.
1.-THE devil!'' was all he could find
words to say.
~ told you it wasn't Thurston," OBJ
served Brill, with a faint smile.
"The dinner is on me-" exclaimed
Marsh j%ubilantly. Its worth n for
the whole ships company. He's COM
ing to. Give him a few drops of this"
He drew a tiny blue bottle from his
pocket, and Brill, raising the head Of
the man on the bed, forced some Of
the liquid between his bloodless lips.
Marsh looked again and gasped.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
e.

The action of the story has its real
beginning on an ocean liner bound for
Europe and just leaving New York. 1t
has been boarded In haste on a winter
day by Overton Brill, a wealthy young
bachelor. who. attracted by a pretty
girl accompanied by an elderly gentle
man, has followed them aboard. Brill
was on his way uptown with Aristides
Stebbins, his valet. known as jay,
when he saw the girl. just after pur-
chasing a valuable bracelet as a gnt
for a Miss Carstairs. The passenger
list reveals the names of h pursued
as MI. Andrew Jennison and daughter.
Brill finds himself without money and
negotiates with a dark individual
named Benedict for the sale OF the
bracelet. receiving $500 for 1t. with
which he secures n de luxe cabin. At
dinner the conversation turns to the
weather, and a Professor Penny
thorpe's storm prediction is placed be-
fore Captain HUMPHREYS for Judgment.
Brill makes the acquaintance OF Mr.
Jennison, and the two proceed TO the
captains cabin to inspect a phenom-
email. wonderfully trained canary. At
luncheon n jovial person, Christopher
c. Marsh. introduces himself to Brill.
Starting from a sound sleep Brill hears
through the window Benedict, the pro-
fessor and Jennison discussing the
large shipment of gold aboard. Soon
after this he is rewarded by n smile
from Marion Jennison for a small
courtesy. Icebergs and fog are report
ed. Jennlson. worrying about the gold.
becomes sick. Professor Pennythorpe
observes that the ship Is of Its course.
Marsh notices that the captain hasn't
been at the dinner table for several
days. Brill meets Marsh on deck.
Hearing a noise in a supposedly unoc-
cupied stateroom. they investigate with
the captain, but find nothing. The al
tered course of the vessel frightens the
passengers. who protest. Brill and
Marsh look to Jay to assist In a secret
search Of the mysterious stateroom.
A wireless reports that Russia has de-
clared war against Great Britain.
Marsh suspects Benedict Of having
manufactured the message. Professor
Pennythorpe armed with a marine
glass watches a strange craft approach
astern. At the Christmas feast Brill
becomes jealous OF B~enedict's atten-
lions to Miss Jennison. Marsh, still
suspicious, continues his Investigations
OF them mysterious noises. Another war
notice Is posted up. Jennison confides
to Brill that $50, 10000 In gold is be-
Ing shipped to Russia secretly. Jen-
nison wires his partner for instruc-
tons and is told to transfer the gold
TO a Russian ship. Marsh and Brill sus-
pect that the dispatches were tempered
with. The two visit the captain. but
quickly leave on Brill seeing q note
addressed to the captain from Bene-
dict, which arouses suspicion that the
captain is in league with the con
spirators. Brill tells Miss Jennison
about himself. Brill is accused of theft
and Is ordered to remain In his cabin
a prisoner. The jailer is bribed, and
Brill goes to Marsh's room, from which
1t Is intended to reach the room of
mystery. Marsh goes to reconnoiter.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

picked up the steel bar from the floor.
When he rose 1t was as II he were a
part Of some machine. His arm
Strengthened out, and the bar few up
with IL and struck the man n terrific
blow on the wrist.
A howl Of pain anne from the Mex
lean as the revolver flew to the ceiling,
struck 1t and clattered back to the
floor. but without discharge
With the ferocity Of a panther Brill
was upon the fellow and bore him
struggling to the floor. a grip of iron
upon his throat. Little by little the
captive was choked into submission.
Brill looked for Stebbins. There stood
his rustic servitor with some pieces of
rope that he had drawn from beneath
his coat.
by Jove, you certainly do think of
things, Jayr' cried his master admir-.
ingly. Now help me tie this-car-
cass."
When the Mexican was firmly bound
and lay motionless on the floor his van.
quishers went cautiously into the room
from which he had come. They were
to take no chances Of an ambush, as
Brill whispered to his valet. No hu.
man being was visible.
Brill stepped to one Of the berths
and peered i'm. A recumbent figure
was stretched upon the mattress. The
first sight of 1t almost stopped the
blood In his veins, the second set his
heart pumping f~uriously, yet he re
manned calm.
"a knife, Jay" he commanded soft
ly. Stebbins whipped it from his peck
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
Enough to Make
Anybody Laugh
Mans lngratisuds.

MY employers played me a rather
heartless trick" remarked the man
who Is always kicking.
why. I thought they had increased
your compensation"
"Yes. But they increased 1t just
enough to compel me to keep books
and employ an expert accountant to
figure out my income tax."-Washing-
ton Star.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

The Nearest He Ever Came to u.
Colonel" she asked. shave you ever
been up in q balloon?"
NO." he answered, but I got to
talking art to a Boston lady once, and
she had me away up in the air inside
Of two Misunderstanding.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

Nearly Caught Him.
Mrs. Bacon-Where were you last
night, John?
Mr.. Bacon I'm alarm)-Why, dear?
II heard you talking in your Sleep"
You did? What did I say, deary'
"You said somebody had cleaned you
up good that's what you said"
"Oh, yes; 1 was down to a Turkish
bath, dear."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
Cruel Advice.

Cruel Advice.
Miss Oldgirl, would you like me to
borrow Brother Jacks parrot to keep
in your room?"
"Why should I borrow your BROTH
er's parrot?"
Because I heard him say the lam
guage that bird uses would make your
hair curl."-Baltimore American.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
Reaehino : ConcJusion.

HeacHtH0 = OO"c'usI0us
II imagine from your speech that
you are a taxidermist."
what makes you think So"
principally because you tell me I
am as wise as an owl and then try to
stuff me."-Exchange.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
Defined.

Harold says he worships me-"
"a mere idol remark."-Baltimore
American.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
His Left.

"Did he waive his right?'
mo. He shook his left fist in my
face."-New York Press.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
The Remaker.

Friend-Whose make is your ma
| chine? Autoist-The repairer's. most
ly.-Boston Transcript.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
Reduced.

H0duc00.
"Old Juggleworth died at an advance
ed age, didn't hep
"On the contrary, he died at a great
~ reduced age. He was really twenty
years older than he said he was
Chicago News.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
The One Exception.

Mrs. Flubdub-You have never done
anything really clever in your whole
life. Mr.. Flubdub-You seem to forget.
my dear, that l married ~you.-Judge.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

II saw Hickey going into the chirop.
odist's this morning"
There must be something serious on
foot."-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
The Tripping Tongue.

The Tripping Tongue.
Henry Peck, you're a fool!'
"You didn't seem to think so when
/ vas single"
mo, you never showed what a big
fool you were until you married me"
Exchange.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

Copyright, 1906, by Lothrop. Lee q shep-
ard
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
The
Golden
Greyhound
By DWIGHT TILToN

A chase after a fair face leads
oyerton Brill, a wealthy man
about town, into assisting in the
defeat Of the most astounding
act Of piracy ever attempted on
the high seas.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15
startina ~Somsthina.

starting Something.
Say, dyer see me fists and mo
strong right arm? Well, I'd just as
leave start something as Lot!'
"All right. What will you charge
an hour for cranking automobile? "-
Exchange.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

Comparisons.
Big Manicure q little scoundrel,
sir! Little Man-Why brag Of your
size, sir?-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

Tonsorial Artist-And what viii you
have on your face when I finish shaw
ing you?
Optimistic Stude-Oh, probably both
lips and part OF my nose.-CornelI
Widow.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

Thin replied the man who was
talking about a mutual acquaintance.
"WeIl, he's so thin that when he eats
macarcni he can only swallow it n
piece at a time..'-Pittsburgh Press.
The Eureka sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1902-current, 1915-05-15

odist's this morning"
There must be something serious on
~foot."-St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Reduced.
ed age, didn't hep
ION the contrary, he died at a great.
ly reduced age. He was really twenty
years older than he said he was."-
Chicago News.
The Tripping Tongue.
Henry Peck, you're a fool!'
"You didn't seem to think so when
1 was single"
mo, you never showed what a big
fool you were until you married me-"
Exchange.
startins Something.
Say, dyer see me fists and me
strong right arm? Well, I'd just as
leave start something as Lotr'
"All right. What will you charge
an hour for cranking automobiles" p
Exchange.
Easier.
after I wash my face I look in the
mirror to see if it's Clean" confded
little Doris. Don't you?
Don't have to. / look at the towel"
joyfully rejoined Willie.-Browning's
Magazine.
Hopeful.
Tonsorial Artist-And what viii you
have on your face when / finish shaw
ing you?
Optimistic Stude-Oh, probably both
lips and part Of my nose.-CornelI
Widow.
Pretty Thin.
"Thin.' replied the man who was
talking about a mutual acquaintance.
"WeIl. he's so thin that when he eats
macarcni he can only swallow it one
piece at a timer'-Pittsburgh Press.
The One Exception.
Mrs. Flubdub-You have never done
anything really clever in your whole
life. Mr.. ~Flubdub-You seem to forget.
my dear, that l married y~ou.-Judge.
His Left.
did be waive his right?'
mo. He shook his left fist in my
face."-New York Press.
The Remaker.
Friend-Whose make is your ma
chine? Autoist-The repairer's. most
ly.-Boston Transcript.
Defined.
Harold says he worships me-"
"a mere idol remark."-Baltimore
Amaricon