Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1915-09-14
Starting the Boy.

| Paper read at Kennebec Pomona
The vital question of the day is
What shall We do with the boy? and like
unto it its sequel, How shall we star
the boy? The right start fortifies
against failure. The right start leads
on TO success. The future depends
more upon the regulations of early life
than upon the adjustment OF any other
period of existence.
1t is unfortunately fact that a pro-
portion of parents, perhaps larger than
some think and perhaps smaller than
others estimate, are neither fitted to
master themselves nor to master their
children, and are totally incapacitated to
have the charge of anything, be it beast
or boy.
| Parents should have the opportunity
of learning the duties of parentage be-
fore they assume parental responsibility
/ Clubs for mothers should be supple
mented by clubs for fathers. So many
fathers shirk the responsibility of train
ing the boys; they leave 1t to the moth
ers, which is not just nor right to either
parent. For the good of your boys,
look TO yourselves first, to your children
afterwards. Be what you ought to be
before trying to make anybody else what
be should be. Wise parents seldom ex-
ercise the right of might. They rule by
suggestion, advice, interest and love.
Their children are their companions,
co-workers with them, and their interest
is mutual.
Each child is junior partner in the
house or home, and his rights are re-
spected. Discipline is practiced and il
must be, butit is accompanied by fair
ness and good will.
The boys social associates may be
considered as one, IL not the most, i'm
portant factor in the building of the
boys success. The world to the boy Is
as his associates see il, and they arouse
or dull his ambition and shape his
course. If his parents are of his asSo-
ciates, the boy is far better of, but bis
parents alone cannot fill his ,equire-
meuts. The boy must have outside &C
quaintances and friends. he must have
an outside life distinct from his school
and his immediate home. This life he
cannot avoid, and he is not likely to
succeed without it. The more the par
ents 90 out into this life and help to reg
ulate it, to encourage the best of it and
discourage the worst of il, the better it
will be for the boy.
The boy, il necessary, should be forced
through the common school, but seldom
step further. After the common
school is past, he has an equal vote with
his parents, and il he be a boy of charac-
ter and sense, the casting vote in the
matter will be for educational progress
sion. And to him more than TO his par
ents belongs the decision of the method
of his livelihood. If be is worthy of a
higher education, force will never have
to be exercised upon him.
II is the parents business to encour-
age the boy, TO teach him the way he
should go, to boost him up the tree of
life and let him climb through the
branches of his own choosing and TO
help him while be is climbing, and even
to hold the net Of safety beneath him
lest he fall.
There never was boy worth the feed
ing who did not present TO a close OBJ
server some indication of a fitness for
something. Study the boy, watch the
boy, analyze each action and inclination.
Do not force him, do not hurry him, do
not fit him to a calling; find a calling
that fits him.
There are thousand means of liveli-
hood. If the boy has but one prominent
ability, discover that ability and feed it
with the kind of food it needs, that it
may develop into a good thing for the
community.
Half of our blundering, ignorant, out
of-place lawyers, doctors and ministers
are but the product of wilful and con-
ceited parents, who hadn't brains
enough to let their boys walk upon
their own legs, but insisted upon prop
ping them upon crutches for life, and
the suffering world with the boys pays
penalty.
Better that the boy be the best ma
chinist in town than the poorest lawyer;
better a good carpenter than butcher
ing doctor. Better that he ill the soil
we'll and enjoy profitable harvest than
that he in his ignorance misrepresent
religion. Let us believe in these boys
of ours and lend hand and a cheerful
smile, that we may have nothing to re-
gret as We review our life in after years