The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-17

N dlVldual obsessed with the impell-
 q A ing idea In the higher human strata he is exemplifed by the astron-
 omer who pursues the wanderings of An dromedia, all oblivious to the existence
 of the stellar chorus that charms the un- waxed ears and fascinates the undimmed
 front row. In equally sedate ranks his counterpart is found in the devoted sa- want who constructs a new theory of the cosmos from the intestines of a frog. Among the lowbrows, relatively speaking, the gifted individual who chose a mo- ment of silence at the funeral ceremonies tp deliver a few remarks on the tariff will serve to illustrate.
 Each and all of these have missed the point. Their views of life, their obserya- tions, constitute what is known in the elite circle of beginners in French as a faux pas; as you go higher up these rise to the eminence of a contretemps. Possibly the one universal theme, the one topic of conversation, always appro- priate, and for which, as with the serpent of the Nile, time neither can wither nor custom stale it's infinite variety. is-Pie.
 The exact limits of the great American Pie. bel, have never been determined with any satisfactory degree of accuracy. News recently received from the seat of war has been to the effect that both the Czar and the Kaiser have gone to the front Could their respective positions be defi- nitely ascertained the boundaries of inn minent danger might be fairly we'll set tied Not so with pie. Not that pie bears any relation to the zone of danger, for all that Doc Wiley and Woods Hutch- inson, wandering in Cimmerian darkness, have tried to prove. Far otherwise with pie. It's limits rather mark the outward reaches of Arcadan bliss, or the stretch of those immeasurable dreamy expanses in which blooms the asphodel. New Eng land claims itself as the original habitat. But there are regions devoted to pie where the alleged source of its being can present nothing in the way of a product that would serve as more than cruel and perverse stepmother. And there are strange outcroppings in unexpected sources, so surely is it with pie as with genius, which knows no exclusive cline or country
 The best pie, however-and those who have tasted it will tell you so--is born, bred and made in southern Ohio. To en- best is to open Pandora's box. With some the meed-itself an apple of dscord- goes to apple pie.
 There is an apple which the May sun kisses. The leaves of the tree that bears it draws from the summer heat the cool ess green. But vagrant rays slip through and paint the fruit with the hues of Kip ling's Indian maiden, who was fair as bar gold from the mint, and tincture its equatorial regions with the colors of Solomon's beloved, whose lips were as the bursting pomegranate. This, convert ed into apple pie-including the crust-re- sembles the peace of God, in that it pass eth understanding And that crust, ma nipulated by the soft hands of Ohio maid or mother, has given to the world one of its effectual synonyms-particu- larly the upper crust"-crinkly, in strips. shortened, melting-say. stranger!
 It is of record that brutal British of ficer, in the days of the revolution, pre- sented with dish of succotash, threw 1t violently on the floor, declaring it was food for hogs, and was properly horse whipped for his deed In the south today the unhappy residents look much the same on the pumpkin. No true Ohioan would want to chastise such misguided souls. Rather would they call them in when sedate autumn had finished her work The golden fruit of the cornfields, its wrinkled visage softened by the frosts of diversity, which have also sweetened it's heart. lies in tempting yellow slices. Then comes the period of Eleusinian rlys- teries following which is pumpkin pie. a mingling of soft stuff, spices, and de- lectable tastes calling for more. Old man Haynes alone has had the heart to men, tion the drawbacks Pumpkin pie, he says, has one bad feature-it daubs a fel- lows ears up so.
 And the pie made from the currant and the cherry--the white May fruit or the deep red Oxheart And pie from currant or gooseberry-Uncle Jonathan Tener used to say that pint of gooseberries would sour bari of sugar; but it was in