Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1915-01-15
B. NJ QUAD
Copyright l9l4 ~ the Mcclure
Newspaper 6yndicatel

Certainly, your majesty"
snow. sir" continued the emperor
IA be lifted up the musket, Il am 60
ing to tire at your breast Are you
willing to take the chances?" .
Fire away" was the reply.
The emperor tired. and. although the
bullet did not penetrate the shield, the
force Of It knocked Birney head ever
heels aud put him out OF It for the
next ten minutes. While it was de-
cided that the vest was not a success.
the Americans nerve excited such ad-
IMITATION that be was given u hand.
some present In cash and graciOusty
dismissed. he seemed to want to say
something to the emperor before be
left the room, but did not have oppor.
tunity. Early the next day. however.
he bobbed up at the war office for an
interview with the minister.
1T Is no use" said the official az be
gave him a minute. 1.-The emperor has
decided that he will not buy the vest"
Il knew that yesterday. Of course"
replied Birney. Il am not here about
the vest, but altogether another thing.
The fact Is l do not like Napoleon's
nose. and want to improve it."
Mon Dieu. man, but what do you
say!" exclaimed the minister as ne
sprang to his feet.
Il say that the emperor's nose Is of
and that can improve It."
''Tbe emperors nose1 You say it Is
wrong? You say you can 6x it? Man.
what mean Your
II mean just what say" calmly re-
piled Birney.
. Mon Dieu: Mon Dteuy' gasped the
minister as ne looked at the American
with wonder and terror N his eyes.
Then sou have gone crazy! You are
out OF your mind. You know not what
you say
II am all right from head to heel.
my dear sir. and can't understand
your agitation. What's the matter
With my scheme for Improving Nalnr
Icons noseY'
The minister rang his belI with nerv-
Gus hand. aud minute later Blrney
was out on the sidewalk WITH tiea IN
his ear-that Is. be was told to take
himself OF Or be would be locked up
as an insane person. 1t was rather
setback for him. and it took nim Il dag
or two to get over 1t. out he finally
came up smiling. II the minister
would not help MIN out there were 9TH
er officials who would. he tried two
or three Of them. With the result that
he was eventually hailed before the
chief OF police. That official probably
sized him up correctly. for he said to
him:
lyon do not realize what you are do
ing. Don't you understand that you
can be sent to prison for thisi Y0n CO
not appear to have lost your MIND. and
yet you are no fool. and the best thing
you can do Is to get out Of Paris ut
once"
':Weil. I don't want to leave Paris
for few days yet. but ri keep still
about NapoIeon's nose.''
He went out of the poltce Office
meaning to do It. but scarcely twenty
four hours bad passed away when be
accidentally met French Doctor VINO
could speak English fairly WELL Htr.
ney was naturally asked why he had
visited Paris. and. OF course. he told
Of the bullet proof vest Having got
started. be couldn't stop there.
Say. do you know could az the
emper0r's nose In Iess than monthly"
be remarked In q burst OF condolences.
s"rhs. dewitt Whv man. von ara IN.
suitinR the emperor! You ought to be
locked upr'
The Doctor Iefe him without even q
cold bow aud probably went to tho
pott'e. ~ Birney was arrested an hour
later. According, DO the story. 10 was
vent to prison without q trial and Dc.
tathetI for f,au year. Then be was
tak~o "ut one day ana conveyed to the
vat caii.~ and ineo tho presence Of Na-
la)is'0n
''.'is aaid the emperor after glaeing
VI TIM fts awhiie, M my nose out OF
pis,nD?" ~
1T = plumb a p,ummet:' was tie
ready r.t'ly
"s'n... n Deed any 0xins over
"<os 4 nx!'
"AnGi ns'w II It With yoursT
''Dt'~ out IT Joint. your ma 1&sty. bat
I th,''k ! .r'..td follow It cut OF rranco."
'"rh-n vs", may Try" H.
And try n did. Hin Dose l..o aim
ta..k to tn. .and 1t the free w,sh.,,,t
ans lingering on the rosa.