davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
AMONG THE TIMES
ADVERTISERS

The Cut-Rate Tea and Conee
Co, No. 403 Woodward-ave.. an
nounce the opening Of their ne Y store
Saturday morning at o'clock The
public Is invited to attend and In
spect their high grade teas, coffee.
butter, eggs and cheese.
The big IRE sale at the Grand
Leader. Michigan-ave. and First-st..
attracted capacity crowds all day
Thursday. The actual IRE was con-
fined to small area Of the building
and most Of the damage to the
stock was from smoke and water,
leaving almost everything In the
store practically the same - new.
with o little cleaning. In many cases
even this was unnecessary.
The stocks were large and well A.
sorted and the lines are molly un-
broken In spite Of the heavy selling
Thursday. For Saturday 40 m extrn
inducement to early shoppers 500
suits and coats originally priced at
from $1,000 TO $500 are put on sale
from nine to eleven q. m. at @1.0O
each. House and party dresses form
q series of all day specials and be-
tween two and four p. m. $50 Leader
dress skirts priced up to $685. Will
be on sale at 79c. Shrewd shoppers
will attend these sale en- mase.
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
MONEY! MAHlxET.

NEW YORK. Feb. s6.--Money on
call: 2 per cent. Time money: avg
81 per cent for six months. Bar sil-
yer: London. unchanged: New York.
tINc. Demand sterling. $500
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
BUTTER AND EGGS

Butter-Creamery extra. 3ec: drsts.
Ate; dairy, gle; packing stock. lsc 10.
Essr-ffe-h receipts. cases incInd-
ed. frsts, 32c; current receipts. 21c
doz. Receipts. ISL cases,
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27

Documents containing details Of the
vessels cargo and the ports for which
she IL bound are called the ships
"msnifest"
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27

.on-Raw linseed. CSC. boiled lin
sene. tank-wagon or iron barrels; Dia-
mcnd headlight. sic. perfection, &c:
palacine. s.1cs crown gasoline. sjc per
gallon.
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
TOLEDO GRAIN.

TOLEDO. Feb. 2s..-wheat Cash,
Cash, 7ohc; March, 13%c; July. 7sc
Sc. Rye cash. $40. c ci SS; S"ss
Cash and February, ss.s7h; March.
ss7fh October, sss7h Timothy: Cash
and March, ss.o7h. Aisike: Cash and
March, sS.s2is. Butter: Brick cream
cry. 3lN3ihc; tub creamery, 30h0
81 &c. Eggs: Fancy selects. 2fc fresh
candled. 25c. Hay: Unchanged
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
s-spiit. x-Asked. b-BId.
caIcAao GRAM AVID rRovrsIoN.

CHICAGO GRAIN AND PROVISION.
CHICAGO. Feb. 3s.--wheat exps-
today, following confirmation of re-
ports that the outer fortincations to
the Dardanelles had been crumbled by
Opening prices OF s1.5I and SI.2l rep
resented overnight recessions OF from
2h 10 4kc. Fifteen minutes later
May options fell TO SI.4sA. while July
brought prices down from y1.4s to
sl.2ok Al 1915 May wheat had gone
to yL47. but July had recovered sc.
down from Is to &c over yesterdays
close. Later in the day May corn
went TO 70hc. which represented a
July corn rose &c. to 1850.
Oats opened down 1A to I NC over
yesterdays close. the break I'm other
There were farther. recessions later.
Provisions were slightly lower
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
LIVE STOCK.
! EAST BUFFALO LIVE STOCK.
tA nm nfur n at&w<.~

EAST BUFFALo. Ny. Feb. 2s--
shipping steers. choice 60 prime. ST.So
Ss7I Sus cher; 9t .tser pam cs sess
heavy. s7256T.Bo; fer to good, 1915
o.; best handy. ,iSf ;soi common 10
co%: ana sgs sifsl. Ysims w.rhsyg s.f
s s. sssIsS5: best handy bntehrf hsif !.
80 80 best n,.h heavy fat cows; 3sgsso:
medium to good. s4.75Ss: cutters t a.ss
common and rimss 5000. '''s sails:
20 sss.ys S.sssSs hs sss saI
s s;:., !, s5Ss.sG workers shsse75S;
sheep; Five cars: market. strong;
q SIS; wst,,ers. ,T9ite; swss. ss.5o
Calves: ss0is,so.
UNION STOCK YARDS.
UNION STOCK YARDS. CHICAGO
Feb. ze--Hogs: Receipts. $4,000. mar
scos h.s lssd sps sstsssr soasS
ss.isGs.so: light. ss.scgsso: pigs. IS (
eese. Cattle: Receipts. 1906: mar.
ket slow and steady: bseyes. $500
ana. $3.50 0ss5: csives' SS6ioso
Sheep, Receipts. 10000; nnarket. dull
v v::::,n ;ssS s.ss' lambs ifisS;ss!
cLGvELAND LIVE STOCK.
cIEyM1AND. O.. Feb. 2s.--Hoxs,
Rec>1pte. 3.toe; steady TO shade low
e. yorners e5fs MIXED and pigs. 81,
rss1ss $40 sse . ssss'e. ssseysis
lnu>6: Accepts. ave cars. 2sc Riehsr,
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
CHICAeO BUT'TER MAnKrr.

2Je; dairy extras. ~ Bc. nrsts. 2iasse.
nrsts. 22Ac. Cheese: Twins isE0
lee. Young Americas. 1sc. Live pouf-
try: Fowls. lac: ducks, 12@1sc: geese.
iat Ssse shlssn i Sbssie to gss. ise rS
1880: Wisconsin white. 3S&42c; red,
276l 4Oc; new potatoes. receipts Is cars.
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27
PRODUCE MARKET

Receipts OF poultry were light again
this morning. the market ruling steady
and firm. especially for heavy hsnA
which are in particularly good demand
this week. and for the right kind OF
stock. buyers Win pay more than for
springs. Receipts OF dressed calves
were liberal. but the better grades
were I'm a little better demand and the
market was n shade firmer. The egg
day, but the market is no better than
steady. An excellent demand Il re-
ported for fresh vegetables OF all
ing freely.
The Detroit times., 1915-02-27

Detreat Tines' Sob Prlntsag nspast-
ment--Main 4b20
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-03-17

JOYOUS FELLOWSHIP
Senior-What makes that horrible
smell of rubber come from Birthday
DOTms?
Junior-Oh, that's just some soph-
omore holding a freshman's neck on
the radiator. - Pennsylvania Punch
Bowl.
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23
HE HAD FAITH

young man about twenty five
years old was sitting in the waiting
room of the Erie depot the other day
with year-old baby on his knee. and
his alarm and helplessness when the
young un' suddenly began to howl
was SO marked as to attract atten-
ton. BY and by a far passenger walk
ed over to him with a smile of pity
on his face and queried:
"A woman gave you that baby to
hold while she went to see about her
baggage. didn't she?"
Yes"
'Ha, ha, ha, I tumbled to the fact
as soon as / saw you. You expect her
back 1 suppose?"
"Of course"
for her every blessed minute. amt
your"
Il think she'll come back
We'll, this makes me laugh-ha:
ha. ha. l had a woman in Chicago
play that game on me once, but no
one will again. Young man, you're
stuck! You've been played on for a
hayseed. Better turn that thing over
to a cop. and make a skip before some
"Oh. she'll come back" replied the
young man, as he looked around.
she will. Ell? Ha! ha! ha! Joke
grows richer and richer. What makes
you think that she'll come back?"
Because she's my wife and this is
man wSo got over feeiins sick ths raj aif
at once. and In his vexation he cross
ed the room and kicked a dog which
a farmer had tied to one of the seats
with a piece Of clothes line.
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23
Return of Bill johnson.

"Js. il true that the New Jersey farmer
is harder on a tramp than the farmer OF
any other State | asked veteran old
tourist the other day.
well. I dunno about that" he slowly
replied. I've allus got along purity well
with 'em except in one case.
ANY objection to giving the particu.
lars to the jury
..Oh. no. II was down near Vineland
I was lying in a fence corner one day,
and I heard some men In Held talking
about the owner Of the next farm west.
His name was johnson, and 1t appeared
that he once had a brother Bill who ran
away and hadn't been heard Of for fif-
teen years. There wassa heap Of talk
about how glad he'd be TO see Bill again.
and it put an , idea into nfS my my h RiIa
Exactly That evening l put in an
appearance in the barn yard and l sat
down on a hayrack and broke the joyful
news to him. that his long,lost brother
white and red and trembled all over. and
finally he got up and embraced me and
says:
Lord that long-lost has at last returned.
Now 1 kin be happy agin.
Accepted you off-hand. eh?
Yes. sir: and for a few minutes
through milking and we were ready to
go into the house. when he sets the pail
down and says:
"Bill. remember the day you left home
In the distant long ago."
YES"
~ advised you not to go and you Arled
me a red-headed. hump-backed liar. I
have never forgotten that. Bill. and I've
allus stuck to 1t that IL ever you got
back I'd turn to and lick We out Of yer
goin' to do IT,
But he didn't?" / asked.
Yes. he did. He was as big as two OF
me. and he mopped me all over that
barnyard for half an hour; and the only
way I saved my life was breakin' away
and crawlin' through hole In the fence:
He hollered for me to come back, and
that the fatted calf was ready. but
never stopped running fur i've miles.
Can't say that the New Jersey farmer II
particularly down on tramps. but they
don't seem to have any brotheriy feel
ings fur long-loet brothers."
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23

by taking a hand themselves. The idea
of my getting a man to putter around
here for month or six weeks
When the wires had been loosened Mr..
BowSer knew just what to do next and
he did it. He pulled the end Of the pipe
out of the chimney. AS soon as that had
been done the five or six joints fell
apart with a great clatter. and he was
instantly enveloped in a cloud of SCOT
and ashes. AS the joints fell one Of
jump to evade the SCOT he stumbled
over another and came down on the
hard bottom of the cellar and rolled over
on his back.
Woman. / sec how it is he yelled
out i'll his first surprise hut the words
were hardly uttered before he got up and
rubbed his knees and elbows and the
back of his head and whispered to HIM
self:
Its all riGht-all right. I intended to
take the joints apart anyhow. and this
has saved me lot of trouble. 1t would
have taken SLOVENIAN just two weeks
It's wonder the old lady isn't down
here to ask if there has been an Garth
quake
Mr. Bowser cautiously picked up each
with hammer. That's the proper way
to clean EN-. and he did AS we'll as
slovenian could have done. When
smoke-pire has been taken apart 1t must
De put tOEtNhtE again " ne USE
full. Fully realizing this fact, Mr. Bowser
began work. He picked up two joints
and fitted them together. No. he didn't.
To his surprise they wouldn't fit. They
were made to fit. had fitted and ought by
natural philosophy to fit again. but ne
turned them over and over and over and
end for end and failed TO make go
of it. He suddenly made discovery.
"One wants pounding out and the other
pounding in" he chucllled as he reached
for his hammer. Il don't claim to be
the smartest man in America. but if
can't put two joints of pipe together
He couldn't. The hammering had not
improved them. He took two other
joints. but they were just as obstinate
All of sudden Mr.. Rowser got mad and
jumped for the ak. but his feet slipped
in the SCOT and he went down and saw
millions OF stars as the back OF his head
Wha cked the cement
Some one shall suffer for this he
said as he finally sat up: ard he was on
the point of going upstairs and bringing
Mrs. Bowsers perfdious conduct home
to her when the resolution came to have
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23

you say that thar was luv thar" ask
I ed the husband.
why, I sat there smoking and
| looking into the laurels and ! neither
| heard nor saw much. BY and by l got
up and walked away.
"Of co'se he did-of cose." said the
wife. "He-un knows that no couple
wants a stranger around when they
are a-holdin' hands"
Yes. he-un would git up and walk
away" sighed the husband.
Would you like Jim for son-in-
laid aside his pipe so as to have both
hands free to gesture with, that yere
knife"
And a whoppin' big bar at that"
shot three and skeered of a
And he has swum the Cumberland
River. sah."
And il was in flood. too
And he has killed mo- coons and
foxes and possums in the last two
vars. sub. than any two men in the
State"
.Of co'se he has-of co'se"
"And he made the elephant run
when the last circus cum along. subj"
, And nd, i. was ,S Th9pper Of an eleph-
'And. sah," continued the husband
as he stood on his feet. that yere
Jim can out-holler, out-run, out-wras-
sic, outright and out-lift any critter
of his age fur fifty miles around"
''Of cose he kin-of co'se," adde's
the wife as she also stood up.
And. sah in a var or two mo- we
ar gwine to send him to the legisla-
tur and he's gwine to swell around
these mountains with a plug hat and
a cane. All this. sab. and you axes me
IL I'd take him for a son-in-lawr
'Of co'se We would-of co'se," said
the wife.
Hasn't he said anything to your"
I asked.
Not a blamed word"
And hasn't Linda?"
She's n clam. II you heard any
thin and will tell us we kin go to bed
happy"
l was debating with myself whether
to give the young couple away or not,
when Linda who had been listening
and heard all. came out and said:
ITS as foolish as q muskrat tryin'
to climb a tree. II Jim and me wasn't
gwine to git married right soon would
l let him hug me on log befo'
But ! took q walk" I said.
But you was peekin."
.Hartin-sartin'," grinned the father.
'Of co'se he was-of co'se,"- added
the mother.
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23
A MOUNTAIN COURTSFiLP
And Jim He Rugged Linda on a Log.

The mountaineer and his wife had
t" go down the valley about a mile
at the cabin with their daughter. a
girl of eighteen. AS soon as she had
cleared off the supper table. and while
! sat on the doorstep smoking. she
put on clean apron, arranged her
hair bit. and blushed very red as
she said to me:
and him's very skeery and-and-
and
DO you mean that your young man
is COminEr' | asked.
Reckon him is"
And he's bashfuI?"
Him can't skeercely abide dad an
mann"
Il see. He'd be scared off if he
found me sitting here. Well. I'll take
walk and he out of the way"
,., No no. no! Iou's perfectly proper.
I'll go out and sit down on the log
and you's stay right yere''
oh. that's il? Well. don't you mind
me in the least; Just tell the young
how one feels about it
The log was only thirty feet away.
and she hadn't been sitting there over
1--WE minutes when him appeared. He
had probably been in hiding some
where near. All I could see was that
he was a young man. very bashful and
awkward. He sat down about ten feet
away from her. and il was about five
minutes before either spoke. Then
he remarked:
Powerful sight of rain long back.
Linda"
Why. Jim. IL hain't showered in two
weeks" she laughed.
"Hain't it,"
Why no You's dun got mixed up
with last year"
Reckon So" he replied. and some
how the distance between them sud-
denly diminished one-half 1t was
in the atmosphe4e l couldn't exactly
tell whether she moved. he hitched,
or the log suddenly shrunk five feet
endways
who's him." queried Jim. as he
nodded his head i'm my direction.
stranger. gwine further up" she
answered. .'Yo' hain't no cali to be
skeered of him nor nobody"
Who's skeered?"
Reckon yo' is
"shoo. Never was skeered in all my
Reckon he do"
And yo'r MANI
Reckon she do"
And Linda
HeN stopped there for long. long
time, md Linda coughed and giggled
over his embarrassment. BY and by
she said:
Dad says yo's come powerful nigh
KILN bar last week"
MAN says you's took up them ten
acres of land above Parker's."
No reply.
Has you's lost yo'r tongue. Jim >"
she asked. after n, long silence.
''Co'se not: I was thinkin'." he re-
piled as he heaved a deep sigh.
Reckon j know what 'twas-te! he.
Reckon yo' don't"
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23
UNCLE ELPS FABLES
Nothing " To Be Continued in Our Next Here

man, who had been walking through
| a public park, finally became tired. and
| was about to sit down on a bench to
| rest when of a sudden a bee stung him on
the leg. After Jumping about four feet
high. and uttering yell which was heard
, a mile away, the man turned on the bee
and shouted:
Base migrate. have 1 ever harmed
you?'
Hardly ever" calmly replied the bee
as he picked his teeth with dead
grasshopper's hind left leg.
Then why this attempt to assassi-
nate me-
MY dear man. you have on a new spring
suit: you were about to sit on a freshly
painted bench: your suit would have been
ruined: what I did was for your own
good. and ] was entitled to thanks instead
Of insults
Moral:-The thief who steals your horse
just before the stable is struck by light
ming should return to be praised
A man who had cut his wife's throat
with a razor i'm order that she might be-
come an angel and get rid OF the cares
of n large family found that his action
was misunderstood by the public, and
was obliged to employ lawyer. After
consultation the latter said:
our defense will be that she was
killed by burglar"
But the police found me red-handed,'
protested the murderer.
rary insanity
But ! had planned the murder for
months
I'm: We will make out she was I'M
We cannot, Every one knows she was
virtue itself.
We'll. we'll declare you were drunk
But l never was more sober in my
life-'
Just so: Can't We prove that she mad
threatened your life?''
"She never did 1 cannot find one ray of
hope"
Oh. we'll. we must resort to tactics.'
said the lawyer. I'VE will first hope for
a disagreement Of the jury. II that fails
I'll take exceptions. We can apply for
stays. make appeals, go to the Supreme
time they get ready to carry out the SEN
tence you will have died OF old age. Cheer
up, my friend. The case is not half as
serious as il You had stolen a cow
Moral:-To he found in Sing Sing.
The sage and the Hare.
Once upon a time the Hare went to the
Sage with tears in her eyes and began
''Oh. Sage. my feelings are being hurt
from day to day. and have come to beg
a great favor from you"
We'll. what is it?'' he asked in reply.
The birds and bugs make fun of me.
Oh. Sage. because 1 am bobtailed 1t was
not half hour ago that the Beetle re-
ferred to me as a bob-tailed bobby from
Bobbysville."
And what wouldst thou"
Il want a tail. the same as the Coon
and the 'Possum and Woodchuck.
I'm. Better think the matter over for
a week or So
"I have given it much thought, oh. Sage.
and my tale is that / want a tail"
We'll don't blame ME if things don't
turn out right. Presto. change. and you
are no longer a bobtail."
The Hare started for home with her
brush dragginS behind her. and was feel
ing very proud and vain over the acquisi-
ton. when a Fox espied her and gave
chase. She reached her burrow and dived
into it, but alas. her tail stuck out and he
seized it and dragged her forth and de-
voured her.
Moral:-Let well enough alone. whether
it's long-tailcd or bob-tailed.
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23
THE ELEVATOR BOY /

Many a young doctor or lawyer, just
starting his career. has watched an
elevator boy at work and said to him.
self:
.'Ah. what a profession. No disap.
pointments-no carking care-no burdens
on the young back. Why didn't l adopt
it,
And yet the young gentleman who ele-
Yates the elevator has hidden sorrows
that the public wots not of.
These sorrows begin with the engineer.
Every engineer of public building
should work in harmony with the ele-
They start off that way, but when they
find they can neither boss nor borrow
money of the young gentleman they
turn rusty.
sized up the engineer the very first day
as man who would make me trouble
if he could. l learned that two of the
window cleaners thought him a single
Also that his wife brought his lunch in
regularly every noon. The next day at
the proper time scooted up to the eighth
floor and found the widow Mccarthy
Have you got your lunch with you.
Mrs. Mccarthy >"
''Indade and 1 have" she replied.
And why don't you 20 down to the
Engineer McFlyn? I know he would APP
preciate your company.
That's true. ME boy. and I'll get me
basket and go down Especially as that
bold-faced grass WILDLY. who calls her
self Mrs O'Shane, though she's no right
to ii in the law. seems to have finished
her floor and gone home.
took her down and then scooted for
the fifth floor and found Miss O'Shane.
and said to her:
why don't you take your lunch basket
and go down and keep Mr.. Flyn COM
is il comnany he sichs for. me lad
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23

I joints fell apart and banged around over
his feet and rolled away. With a wild
war-whoop he grabbed the AK and began
to pound and batter and destroy. but as
he raised the weapon for fell swoop 1t
hit the ceiling and rebounded on his
head and Mr.. Bowser knew no more for
Bowser and the cook were bending over
him with camphor. brandy. porous
plasters. Jamaica ginger, ammonia.
porous-sticking salve. and in a far-away
voice he heard the cook saying:
is it a nayeur. Mrs. Bowser. who was
sent up here to clean the pipe. and if so
why didn' see him?"
'No-it's Mr.. Bowscr himself He
have the benefit of the physical exercise
besides. and | guess he's done II. While
you are going for the doctor you'd bet
ter stop four or five men and ask EN-
to come in and help get him upstairs.
and you can stop at the grocery and or
der six bars Of soap sent down at once.
"Woman-" began Mr.. Bowser. but
then the lights went out and he could
not finish by announcing that his lawyer
would see her lawyer in the morning.
Mr.. Bowser was brought to life that
evening by the Clatter Of the doctor. Il
policeman and three or four other men on
the cellar stairs. They gathered around
him. and looked from him to the smoke
pipe and burst into a roar of laughter.
is he Niger" asked the police
man of the doctor.
my TINS Is MT. boWSei. exclaimed
Mrs. Bowser.
And Begin your pardon ma'am, what
has he been doin' to HIMSELF"
Why. he has been getting some physi-
cal exercise and saving one hundred dol
lars in cash..
II should say. dryly remarked the
doctor. that he has had a circus here
all by himself and played the clown to
II the same as usual
With that the gang gave another roar
and passed upstairs and went out of the
house. and Mrs. Bowser turned to the
clown and solicitiously asked:
Shall / help you upstairs. dear"
His grunt and his glare in reply gave
her a chill and she stepped back while
he managed to draw himself up and
reach the stairs. He paused in the
kitchen long enough to pick up three
bars of laundry soap. and after he had
toiIed along to the bathroom he drew
l. 400 gallons of hot water and fell into it.
At the end of two long hours Mr..
Bowser was a cleaner and wiser man,
and next day a slovenian had that pipe
up in fifteen minutes
The Washington herald., 1915-05-23

We were hunting among the Black
Hills soon after the first rush of home
! stcaders and spectators in that direc.
ton. and one day left camp on my own
hook and wandered away three or four
miles AS stood resting beside a tree
saw a deer only a pistol shot away. II
was a fine buck. and he walked into the
open as cool and unconcerned as if no
body had ever thirsted for his life.
I ought to have dropped him dead at
that dlstance-but he fell at my fire 10
get up and limp away, and knowing hin,
to be mortally wounded l followed after.
The ground was very rough and covered
with cedar thickets. and being bit ex-
cited I pushed on as fast as possible and
paid little heed of what was under foot.
OF a sudden / found myself falling, and
as l went down ! dropped my gun to
clutch at the branches. / went down ten
or twelve feet over rocks. struck on my
feet, and then plunged forward and
brought up beside a big detached rock
with a smash severe enough to have
killed one outright. ! did break two ribs
and terribly bruise my hip, and tainted
away with the pain.
When / came to l was lying on my
right side. facing the jungle OF rocks
over which ! had fallen and l realized
at once that l was badly hurt. Just how
badly l hesitated to find out. remember
ing that / was miles away from camp
and could expect no help. 1 lay quiet,
hoping the pains would soon go way,
when / got such shock as nearly put
my wits to sleep again. Almost in front
of me and only twenty-five feet away.
was the mouth of a den in the face Of
the cliff. and out of this den stalked the
largest panther / had ever seen. He stood
snuffinS the air and looking full at me-
and when I realized how helpless I was
to even utter a call for aid things al
most lost consciousness.
The wind was blowing pretty freely
and luckily for me. II blew toward me.
At first this was not of the slightest i'm
portance to my mind. as the beast could
reach me with one spring. but 1 soon
had reason to conclude that he was a
queer animal. He turned to the left and
trotted over the ground a distance Of
about fifty feet. Then he wheeled ana