davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1915-08-19

90 10. Dsutidluno bat Hublaub
siusn Ssparatfrieben angeboteu, bel
Osm Ruslunb 9alijien uno 3onftauti'
nopel srbulten Iollte. Nber oaS treue
8uBlano uerlor lisber Poleu uno Sur
Lamb. Obs bic Seiterrst4er uuO Cir.
Ten stuuben werOsn, auf bic bic 9taA'
ri4t bod bere9net lit
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1915-08-19

= Wtebrers sroBe Yulfane I'M IhO'
liden GeiI uon Stalien entuidsln uussn'
blidli4 cine lebbafte Tatisfeit.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1915-08-19

Die fsInstsn pruesSarbslssn h dsr ssaaa.
;-lsfsrt die orIes de- A'WosasahlsaA.z
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

marks, which In their original state
form the basis of a Scotch ballad
called, Loeb Lomond."
Buds system of speaking the Eng
lish language Is to say with his voice
as much Of a word as he can remem-
Der and then finish the rest Of it with
his hands.
Imagine what Bud would do to a
song with an oatmeal foundation like
Loeb Lomond."
When Bud barked out the first few
bars, which say by yon bonnie bank
and by o bonnie brae," everybody
within hearing would have cried with
joy If the piano had fallen over on
him and flattened his equator.
And when he reached the plot of the
piece, where It says, You take the
high road and I'll take the low road
Uncle Peter took a drink, Phil Merton
took the same, Stub took an oath and
l took a walk.
And all the while Buds wife sal
there, with the glad and winning smile
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
SEEING LIFE w1h
rNNaJOHN HENRY
&ShW Geo1peW Hobart
H%[ XNSW John Henry Has a Musical
John Henry Has a Musical

Rufus apologized and said he'd do
the trick over again if someone would
lend him a hat, but nothing doing. We
all preferred our eggs boiled.
Then we had Claribel Montrose in
select Rotations. She was all the
money.
Claribel grabbed "The Wreck of the
Hesperus" between her pearly teeth
and shook it to death. Then she got
a half-Nelson on Poe's Raven" and
put it out of business.
Next she tried IN imitation Of the
balcony scene from Romeo and
Juliet" II Juliet talked like that dame
did no wonder she took poison.
Then Claribel let down her back hair
and started in to give us a mad scene
and it was. Everybody in the room
got mad.
When peace was finally restored
Mrs. rockingham informed us that
the rest Of the paid talent had disap
pointed her and she'd have to depend
on the volunteers. Then she whispered
to Miss Gladiola Hungerschnitz, where
upon that young lady giggled her way
over to the piano and began to knocl
its teeth out.
The way Gladiola went after one Of
Beethoven's sonatas and slapped it,
ears was pitiful.
Gladiola learned to injure a piano a
a conservatory of music. She can TAKE
a Hungarian rhapsody and turn it int
a goulash in about 80 bars.
At the finish of the sonata we al
applauded Gladiola just as loudly al
we could, in the hope that she woult
faint with surprise and stop playing
but no such luck.
She tied a couple of chords togethe
and swung that plano like a pair o
Indian clubs. :
First she did my Old Kentuck.
Home" with variations, until every
body who had a home began to wee
for fear it might get to be like he
Kentucky home.
The variations we're where she mad
a mistake and struck the right note.
Then Gladiola moved up to tn
squeaky end of the piano and gave a
imitation Of a Swiss music box.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

1t sounded to me like a Swiss
cheese.
Presently Gladiola ran out of raw
material and subsidized, while we all
~applauded her with our fingers crossed,
and two very thoughtful ladies began
to talk fast to Gladiola so as to take
her mind off the piano.
This excitement was followed by
another catastrophe named Minnehaha
Jones, who picked up a couple of So
prano songs and screeched them at
US.
M~innehaha is n of those fearless
singers who vocalize without a safety
valve. She always keeps her eyes
closed, SO she can't tell just when her
audience gets up and leaves the room.
The next treat was a mixed duet on
the flute and trombone between Clar.
ence Smith and Lancelot Diffenberger,
with a violin obligato on the side by
Hector Tompkins.
Never before have / seer music so
roughly handled.
1t looked like a walk-over for Clar-
ence, but in the fifth round he blew a
couple of green notes and Lancelot got
the decision.
Then, for a consolation prize, Hec-
tor led out in the middle of the room.
where he assassinated Mascagni's
"Cayalleria R~usticana" so thoroughly
that 1t will never be able to enter a
hfty-cent table d'hote restaurant again.
Almost before the audience had
time to recover Peaches sister, Jen-
ME. was coaxed to sing Tosti's Good
By!"
I'm very fond of sister Jennie, but
I'm afraid if Mr.. Tosti ever heard her
sing his "Good-by' he would say, "The
same to you, and here's you hat"
Before Jennie married and moved
West | remember she had a very pretty
mezzo-concertina voice, but she's been
so long away helping Stub Wilson TO
make Milwaukee famous that now
adays her top notes sound like a
cuckoo clock after it's been up all
night.
suppose it's wrong for me ia pull
this about u own flesh and blood.
but when a married woman with six
nne children, n of them at Yale.
walks sideways up to a piano and be-
gins to squeak. "Good-by, summer!
Good-by, summer!H just as If she were
calling the d~achshund in to dinner, /
think it's time she declined the nomi-
nation.
Then Bud Hawley. after figuring It
all out that there was no chance OF his
getting arrested, sal down on the
piano stool and made a few sad re-
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
OAYi DID you ever stray away from
home Of an evening and go to one

NAYl DID you ever stray away from
home of an evening and go to one
of those parlor riots?
Friend wife called 1t a musicale, but
to me it looked more like a session Of
the Mexican congress in a boiler fac
tory.
They pulled It off at Mrs. Luella
Frothingham's, over on the Drive.
/ like Luella and l like her husband,
conclave Of the Anvil Association
when l whisper them wise that the
next time they give a musical evening
my address is Forest Avenue. corner
Of Foliage Street, in the woods.
The Frothinghams are nice people
and old friends and they have more
money than some folks have hay, but
that doesn't give them a license to
spoil M of my perfectly good eve
nings by sprinkling a lot of canned
music and fricasseed r~ecitations all
over 1t.
The Frothinghams have a skeleton
In their closet. It's name is Uncle
Heck and he weighs 237-not bad for
a skeleton. Uncle Heck is a Joe Nor
gan. His sole ambition in life is to
become politely picked and fall asleeI
draped over a gold chair in the draw
ing room when there's high-class com
pany present.
For that reason the F~rothinghams
on state occasions put the skids undel
Uncle Heck and run him off stage til
after the final curtain.
On some occasions Uncle Heel
breaks through the bars and dashe!
into the Of refinement witt
merry quip and Jest to the confusion
of his relatives and the ill-conceale(
amusement of their guests.
This was one of those occasions.
Early in the evening Jack tool
Uncle Heck to his room, sat him il
front of a quart Of vintage and left tn,
old geezer there to slosh around in tn,
surf until sleep claimed him for it
own.
But before the wine was gone Uncl
Heck put on the gloves with MOI
pheus, got the decision, marched dow
stairs and into the drawing room
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

as a large alligator, badly wounded.
Topped into the water.
Rev. Presiding Elder borrows my
fountain pen and begins to write Wig
orously. But only for a few moments.
when he gets into a theological boxing
match with several men, who l learn
are "Revs." also. This title has a pc
culiar fascination for many in Africa
Everybody loves a title, and II n
who has Rev" to his name can raise
eight dollars and send to Texas or
some other place and get a ID. D."
he adds six inches to his coat-tails.
and his Importance and egotism grow
to the proportion of a foot to the inch
In a Revival Meeting.
Friends meet me at the headquar-
tiers of the river, and an invitation 10
extended to attend a revival meeting
in a little church near by at night. A
serious young man was preaching
from the text, Strive to enter in al
the strait gate" etc. We were late
and missed part of his eloquent ser
mon, but we heard him say: What
TO- you dun cum heah? Why yo'
gwine cum to dis meetin'? Is yo' po'
wanderin' feets in de way dat leads
to distraction? Is yo' feets on de
Rock oh Ages? Whar is yo' gwine
to lib %fo'ebber? In de place whar de
Good Book say de saints am gwine!
Or is yo' gwine to be shut up in de
fire an de flames?
"Yo' must git all combusted toged-
der and seek de Lawd wifi all yo'se
hearts, an bring yo' piccan ~(children)
an yo' frens to de Lawd. Do it one
time Cat once) befo' it am ebberlastin'
too late"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

charge of the town opera house to
secure an added stipend. Thence. in
fact, came his splendid vision"
Perhaps conditions exactly united
to arouse his imagination upon thet
special evening. AS the manager of
the country opera house, he had to
see that it was opened and closed.
An opera was being given. 1t was q
brilliant picturesque composition, we'll
delivered and the star, a Miss Annie
Winthrop, vas the principal singer.
1t had been restful and delightful
to the old man to listen to her beauti-
full singing. The company had brought
with them some attractive scenery.
There was the glamour of vernal
beauty combined with p~alatial mag
~nificence. When the entertainment
was over, old Abel sat down on the
stage to rest a bit before turning out
the last light. The glare and glitter
had made Abel dreamy. He slept.
There came a vivid vision. 1t was
OF the old homestead, replaced by a
roomy mansion. There we're broad
porches, an observation tower. There
was a lovely hedge, swings. a tennis
court. He dreamed that he sat in a
comfortable hammock, while his lit
tie nephews and nieces disported on
the lawn. Supreme contentment was
his lot. Then, suddenly, shrilly, there
rang out the appalling scream Of
Fire."
The shout aroused him. He ran out
side TO see the hotel with which the
theater connected going up in smoke.
Someone spoke of victims imprisoned
on the upper floor. The brave old
man breasted the dense smoke to
reach the second floor. There he was
driven back by belching flame.
He staggered, choked, blinded, to
stumble over a senseless form lying
across the landing. 1t was that of a
woman. He had just sufficient strength
to lift her and bear her to the street.
The singer-Miss Winthrop!"
breathed a bystander and she aroused
to vince with pain. Her ankle had
been broken in a fall down the third
story stairs. She could not walk. The
hotel was doomed.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

where he Immediately insisted upon
being the life of the party.
Uncle Heck moved and seconded
that he sing the swan song from 10
hengrin," but his idea of a swan was
so much like a turkey gobbler that
loving friends slipped him the mecca
sins and elbowed him out of the room.
Then he went out in the buffers
pantry hoping to do an Omar Khayyam
with the grape, but not finding any he
began to recite, Down in the Lehigh
Valley me and my people grew; l was
a blacksmith, Cap'n; yes, and a good
one, too! Let me sit down a minute,
a stones got into my shoe"
But it wasn't a stone, and it didn't
get into his shoe. 1t was a potato
salad and it got into his face when the
Irish cook threw 1t at him for interior
ing with her work.
I'm discouraged" murmured Uncle
Heck, and presently he was sleeping
with magnificent noises on the sofa
In the library.
There were present at the battle in
the drawing room Uncle Peter Grant
and Aunt Martha; Hep Hardy and his
diamond shirt studs; Bunch Jefferson
and his wife. Alice; Bud Hawley and
his second wife; Phil Merton and his
third wife; Dave Mason and his sta
tionary wife; Stub Wilson and his
wife. Jennie, who is Peaches sister,
and a few others who asked to have
their names omitted.
The mad revels were inaugurated
by the Pippin brothers, who attempt
ed to drag some grouchy music out of
guitars that didn't want to give up.
The Pippin brothers part their hair in
the middle and always do the march
from The Babes In Toyland" on their
mandolins as an encore
II Victor Herbert ever catches them
therell be O. couple of shine chord
chokers away to the bad.
When the Pippin brothers took a
bow and backed on into a vase of
flowers we were all invited to listen to
a soprano solo by Miss Imogene Glass
face.
When Imogene sings she makes
faces at herself. When she needs a
high note she goes after it like a hen
after a ladybug. Imogene sang sleep,
Sweetly Sleep" and then kept US
awake with her voice.
Then we had Rufus Kellar Smith.
the parlor prestidigitator. Rufus was
a bad boy.
He cooked an omelet in a silk hat
and when he handed the hat back to
Hep Hardy two poached g & fell out
and cuddled up IN Hops hair.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
PROBLEMS OF COMMON LAW
Times Have Changed Since the Great
Authorities Wrote L%earnedly on
the Subject.

In the early history Of the common
law, when recorded ~precedents were
far less numerous than they are to-
day and when learned CLOSES and COM
mentaries were few. 1t was more near
ly possible for an industrious lawyer
to know them all Just as DR.. Samuel
johnson ventured to write a dictionary
of the English language out of his own
head, SO did William Blackstone and
James Kent attempt to state the en-
tire common law. He would be a bold
and an ill-advised who would at
tempt to do either today.
In their day it "a possible to re-
gard the opinion of a judge in a liti-
gated case as the last word upon the
subject of his decision. So. also, the
opinions OF the few learned commenta-
tors, like Coke and Blackstone and
Kent. we're regarded with much
greater veueration than are the opin-
ions Of their modern successors,
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
Cruel Treatment.

Thomas A. Edison smiled when ref
erence was made at a dinner to cruel
and barbarous treatment, and said
he was reminded of an incident along
that line.
Some time since a pretty young
wife brought suit against her hus-
band for divorce on the grounds of
cruelty, and when the case was called
the fair petitioner was put on the
witness stand.
You say in your petition, madam"
interrupted the Judge at n interval,
that your husband treated you with
great cruelty"
Yes, sir" was the soft and meek
rejoinder of the witness, "he was
cruel to me very often"
In what particular way?" asked
the judge. 81 want to hear some spe-
cific cases."
I'm many ways" answered the Pc
titioner. "One of the worst things he
used to do was to say things to me
ON the telephone, and then hang up
the receiver before l could answer
back."-Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
'II'B E Ell "a

lily be printed on one single sheet OF
paper.
The rivers of Liberia abound with
fish, and were it not for the series Of
fine falls or rapids, from fifteen to
twenty miles back from the sea, the
rivers might be navigable for hum
dreds of miles. The woods abound
with game of many varieties-the vi
cious bush-cow, deer, leopards, ele-
plants, civet cats. golden cats, mon
keys in almost endless varieties, and
other game. In the far interior lions
and other big game abound.
On a recent trip to the ~hinterland.
where had been invited by King Mo
nah, son of the powerful King Pom
oporah, as we sailed up the river In
the little boat, with u serious friend,
Solomon Hill, the owner and captain.
a clerical and solemn-looking little
man in a frock coat so long that IL
reached to the tops of his shoes, and
whose collar and garb stamp him as
a preacher, came to me and intro
duced himself as a presiding elder,
having a large number of churches IN
der him.
He asks very cordially: What
might your name be-"
my name is Morris"
Where you be from?"
THE United States" l answered
II live at Louisiana"
Where is that?" / ask.
"On the st. Paul river" Just theA
everybody jumped up at the report OF
a gun and a heavy splash was heard
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
A VISION SPLENDID
Copyright. 1915, by W. G. chapman.)
BY MARY CARTER BLAKE.

Copyright. 1915, by w. G. Chapman.)
Once Abel Day had a dream that
he never forgot. From that hour he
was a changed man. He did not tell
of his dream to wife, son or neighbors,
but he cherished its details until there
was a secret chamber in his mind to
which he could repair when fancy
SO inclined, and revel in its idealism
as might a poet, or a painter, or a
pure, innocent girl In her first rapt
love visions.
Abel was a carpenter, earning only
a fair living, getting old and only a
part of the building contracts going.
His son, Alton, he had managed to
educate and Alton was cut out for an
engineering career. Abel sighed and
looked longingly whenever he viewed
the spot they called home. Never
was there such a site. BY rare good
fortune he had been able years ago
to secure a tw%enty-acre plat of ground
just at the edge of the town. 1t in
cluded a little lake, some timber. a
rocky glen, and its highest point over
looked the landscape for ten miles.
A more picturesque and command
ing spot the whole countryside did
not contain. 1t became the dream
of his life to some day erect a house
worthy of those magnificent surround
ings, a house big enough to take in
the poor widowed sister of his wife
with her seven little ones, to spend
his later years amid the rarest beau
ties of nature, and this ideal was his
promised land.
But the years passed by and the
old ramshackle cottage remained as
it was. Abel got poorer and poorer.
His plans for old age began to fade.
To keep going he had to raise a few
extra vegetables for sale. He took
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

with some advantages in favor of At
RIGA.
Life is simple, placid, calm, and not
so complex. The work life is not
strenuous. The people do not rush
and drive as they do here at home.
If you try to hurry a man who is
working for you, he will calmly tell
you: "One day be not all de days,
daddy" And you stand rebuked, for
you know he is telling you the truth.
Liberia Most Attractive.
Four and a half years ago the New
York Colonization society sent me to
the west coast Of Africa to study the
conditions of life in Americas little
colored child over the sea, Liberia.
Morocco, Algiers, Senegal, Bathurst
Konakry, Sierra Leone, Togoland,
Nigeria, Kamerun, East and South At
RIGA are beautiful and attractive, but
the little struggling republic of Lii
IBERIA is TO me the most attractive spot
in Africa.
Monrovia, the capital city of the re-
public, is picturesquely situated on
Cape Mesurado, and is a city with
about $4,000 inhabitants, many of
whom live in beautiful homes, some
very costly.
Liberia has a number of fine settle
ments, peopled by either colored
Americans or their descendants, who
have done a remarkable work in plant
ing farms, building homes and estab-
fishing a civilized community and a
decent government on the west coast
of Africa. They have been greatly
condemned by both Europeans and
some short-sighted Americans, whose
actual knowledge Of Liberia could cas-.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
Didn't Wait to Learn Details

A gentleman, clad in a plug hat and
an'air of determination, together with
sundry other garments not necessary
to enumerate, uprose on a dry goods
box at the most prominent corner in
the village and, holding aloft a vile and
wriggling serpent, invited, in stem
torian tones, all good people within the
sound Of his voice to gather around
him for profit and entertainment.
What dye s'pse is comm Off" in
quired a citizen, addressing the Old
Codger.
"D'know!" snarled the veteran.
"Probly he's some internal Office.
seeker who is going to promise, if we
elect him, to get rid of all the snakes
in the county by eating 'em. Anyhow,
I'm going home! G'day. Ellsworth"
Kansas City Star.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

Of a swordfsh on her face, listening
with a heart full of pride while her
crimeladen husband chased that help
less song all over the parlor, and final
ly left it unconscious under the sofa
At that point Hep Hardy got up and
volunteered to tell some funny stories
and this gave us all a good excuse to
put on our overshoes and say Good
night" to our hostess without offend.
ing anybody.
Hep Hardy and his funny stories are
always used to close the show.
John" said Peaches after we got
home; 81 want to give a musical. May
II"
Certainly, old girl" l answered.
We'll give one in the nearest moving.
picture theater. If we don't like the
show all we have to do is to close our
eyes and thank our lucky stars there's
nothing to listen to-"
"Oh! aren't you hateful!" she
pouted.
Maybe / am, at that.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

WTW9 HE very name Of Africa has
been a subject OF much discus
sion. 1t is believed that the
name is derived from the Latin
word ''aprica' (meaning
sunny. or from the Greek word 'aph-
rika" without cold.
The nickname Dark Continent"
has lost much Of it's significance. The
Bible long ago called Africa "the Land
Swallowed with Wings" Mr.. Henry
M. Stanley stamped it as the Dark
Continent. Another man called it the
Land of Binding Sunshine. AS / have
traversed its jungles and pathways,
many times ! have called it the Land
of Winding Ways, writes James r.
Morris in the Christian Herald. When
the p~erspiration has flowed down owe
my face and body until every thread
upon me has been drenched in the
warm, moist climate, l have named
the country "the Land of Natural
Baths"
Africa is a remarkably beautiful
country. It's coast lines are pictur-
esque, graceful, fascinating, alluring.
Its seaport towns and cities are usual
ly clean, pretty and reasonably
healthful. Equatorial Africa has, un-
til the last two decades, been called
the White Mans Graveyard, but clean
living, quinine, mosquito netting, So
briefly and sanitary improvements
have made Africa a place where one
cannot only exist, but live in as much
comfort, take it all in all during the
year, as in the city of New York. and
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
How to Live.

1t is the hardest thing to live just
the right way on this green earth
For instance, here is one of Thomas
Davidson's twenty maxims, BE on
earth what good people hope to be
in heaven" that is, be without a flaw.
But if 1t were possible, and one saw
wherever he went what is good be
cause he himself is good, this old
world would change to heaven imme
diately-to him. So the way for one
to be happy, rich, noble. pure, honest
brave, true, calm and all the other
virtues is just to start a little heaven
on his own account and fill it full OF
his own beautiful life. People will
laugh at this idea, but it is all as prac
teal as picking up a stone or break
ing a stick. The great sin Of this
world is putting or to heaven what
can be done on earth.-Columbus CO.,
journal.
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26

Jones, who appreciates a joke, but.
like many others, cannot repeat one
with any degree Of success. heard for
the first time the joke about the dog
being the most musical Of animals,
because he wears a brass band round
his neck" and determined to spring it
on the first party of friends to which
he was invited. The time came, and
he electrified his victims with the ex
clamation, 81 say, I've a really good
one!" He asked, why is a dog the
most musical of animals?" They gave
it up. Because" announced Jones.
triumphantly, "he wear a brass collar
round his neck"
The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-06-26
SLIGHTLY Mixed.

The ex-bishop of Manchester, the
late Doctor Moorhouse, was one of the
happiest and wittiest of ~churchmen,
and was never more pleased with him
self than when telling a good story.
One of his favorites was that of the
old lady who startled a missionary on
his return from India with a question
which showed how dangerous a little
knowledge is. Pray, my lord" said
she, "is it true that in India you call
the female converts a and the
male converts bananas?"