davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

ahd judge they both had lower
berths; otherwise their minds would
have been busy with dark and per-
sonal fears of the future.
WELL" exclaimed the gabby one
from Kansas City. what is politics
Well, what is it?"
Politics" replied Wise Willie from
Providence, politics is where we get
it-sometimes in the bank, sometimes
in the neck!"
Everybody present peeled the cover
off a loud laugh and the smokeless
hog at the window stole four inches
extra space so that he could shake
more when he giggled.
Well" resumed the inquisitiye per-
son from Kansas City, what is a poll
tician? Do you know? Eth. we'll
what is a politician?"
"A politician" replied the fat man
from Providence, "a politician is the
reason we have so much politics"
Much applause left the hands of
those present, and the smokeless hog
turned sideways so that he could
make the others more uncomfortable
Perhaps" insinuated gabby Jim
from Kansas City, perhaps you know
what statesman is, eh?"
"A statesman is politician I'm good
luck" was the comeback from orr
fat friend from Providence, and in
the enthusiasm which followed the
smokeless hog found out there was no
buffet car on the train, so he offered
to buy the drinks.
Don't you believe that all men are
born equal?" inquired the Kansas Citv.
ite.
Yes, but some of them have null
enough to get over it," responded the
Providence philosopher; whereupon
the smokeless hog by the window
took out flask and began to dampen
his conscience.
Just then the towel rack fell with
a crash, and after l picked up the
comb and brush and myself 1 decided
to retire to my bracket on the wall
and try to sleep.
When / left the smoker the smoke
less hog was occupying two and a
half seats and was now busy breath
ing in some secondhand cigarette
smoke which nobody seemed to care
for.
How do l reach my Alpine bunga-
low" ! said to the porter. whereupon |
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Manager Joe Tinker and Al sridweII.

There are perhaps more tricks
worked by and upon baserunners than
there are in any other department of
baseball. The $50 feet around that
diamond are filled with pitfalls and
handicaps that make Tipperary appear
close at hand by comparison. One
would think that it is a simple matter
10 run around the bases when making
home run. But against a trained
and experienced team it is a hard mat
ter.
The batter drives ball to left CEN
ter field. If he does not get away
from the plate quickly, the catcher
will spring in close to him, perhaps
lrop his mask in front of him, and try
TO hamper the start.
He swings out on to the edge of
The grass so as to make flying turn
1T first base without losing much
ground. The first baseman remains
On the inside corner of the bag, or
near it, giving the runner just room
enough to pass, and trying to force
him to take a wide turn.
The pitcher, if he is speedy enough,
will try to cut across in front of the
runner to throw him off his stride.
Both the second baseman and the
,hortstop will hamper him at second,
onc holding the bag to make him turn
wide, the other trying to force him
% make still wider turn.
The third baseman holds him and
makes him take the outside route and
wide swing, and even then the short
stop will cut across in front Of him
rs he tears for home, pretending to
back up the plate, and after all that
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

naries from Plainfeld, New Jersey
They were members of the Soubrette
Singing Society, and they were er
route to the West to join the "Bunct
of Birds Burlesque Company
Their names were Millie and Tillie
and they wore Feather Duster hats
and did a sister act that contained
more bad grammar than an East Side
pinochle game.
Millie was fully aware that she
could back Duse off the map, and
Tillie was ready to bet a weeks sal.
AIRY that she could make Bernhardt
feel like she was out in the storm we
had day before yesterday.
Tod called them the Roast-Beef Sis,
ters, Rare and Well-done.
In a minute the castors on Wedges
meek began to turn.
Nick put the others wise with a
wink, so they lit the fire and began
tc cook it up.
Wedges heart was warming for the
birds in the gilded cage.
Nothing into it," said Slim. It's
q plain case of Appomattox. The war
is over and they are yours, Wedge!"
Wedge turned a few more volts into
his twihkling lamps.
Lower your mainsail, Wedge. and
drop alongside; you've made the
landing" suggested Nick.
Wedge began to feel his necktie
and play patty-cake with the little
bald sp0 on the top Of his head.
Stop the hanson and get out
you're ct your corner" said Tod.
The Sweet Dreams across the way
were giving Wedge the glorious eye
roll, and he felt that dinner was
ready.
Hang up your hat, Wedge, and
gather the myrtle with Mary" Slim
Clipped in
Then Wedge bounced over and be-
gan to show Millie and Tillie what q
handsome brute he was at close quar-
ters
He sat on the arm of the seat and
steamed up
In less than minute he crowded
the information on them that he was
a millionaire who had escaped from
Los Angeles, California, and he was
just going to put them both in grand
opera. when Slim toddled over to
him and said Next stop Erie! You
told me to remind you to send that
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

CAY! Did you ever sit around in
- the Pullman Car and study a few
paragraphs from tn. worlds most IA
nous text book-hIS,nan nature?
Go after it the FIRST chance you get
you'll learn at sot
For instance, during trip recently
on one of Mr.. PTllman'a sleep-wagons
/ soon learned that the brisk and
breezy crew il the seats around me
were commercial travellers, and they
were tanning each other with fairy
tales about the goods they sold.
learned that the one who looked
Ike human apple was affectionately
known as Slim because he's so fat
that every time he turns around he
meets himself coming back.
And it wasn't hard to leara that
the tall one with the sandy hair was
Nick Dalrymple, who goes after the
orders for a hardware house in
Columbus and knows everybody in
the world-bar one family living in
Yonkers.
Then there was Tod Gilpin, who
cuts ice for match factory in New
ark, and he's the life of small party.
Tod's main hold is to creep into
the reading room" of a Rube hotel
after the chores are done of an eve-
ming and throw salve at the comeons.
Tod tells them that their town is the
brightest spot on the map, and they
warm up to him and want to buy him
sarsaparilla and root beer. Then
when he gets them stuck on them
selves he sells them matches.
Presently l learned that the party
with the mauve forehead and the
magenta mustache was Mutt Daw-
son-the most reckless spendthrift
with his words and the meanest man
to the English language 1 ever
listened to.
The Dream Builders Association
was in full session when Wedge Muir
ray caromed over and weighed-in with
the party.
Wedge is a saucy little party, five
foot four, with three foot shoulders
He thinks he strikes twelve on all
occasions, but his timepiece is an
hour slow.
| learned that Wedge sells canned
shirt waists for the Shine Brothers,
and if he's ever let into the firm it
will be as brother.
Wedge is one of those goose-headed
ginks who scratch gravel and start
in to make killing every time they
see a pretty girl
Across the aisle sat two pet ca
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

Eppa Rixey has shown himself to be
quite pitcher of late.
Bresnahan is doing his best to keep
The Cubs up in the race.
The Yanks expect to land Miller
,ne of the Southern leagues best out.
ielders.
Harold Janvrin, the schoolboy in.
fielder, is going at fast clip for the
Boston Red Sox.
Cy Falkenberg is not having a pros.
porous year this season, as he is get.
ting bumped regularly.
The chances are that Johnny Evers
has taken the pledge to quit talking so
much in the ball games.
Alexander famed 143 batsmen in %
games. excelling all other major
league pitchers in this respect.
Looks odd to see Chief Meyers,
Giant catcher, way below the 300
class. His official mark is .246.
John McGraw still clings to the be-
lief that the Giants and Braves will
fight it out for the pennant this fall.
Those Boston Braves are attracting
a lot of attention these days because
they seem to have started on the rise
again.
II Larry Cheney shows his old-time
form for the remainder of the sea-
son the Cubs will be very much in
the race.
Wallie Schang is playing the out
field for the Macks. He was moved
from third base to left field to make
way for Healey.
Dutch Zwilling is considered as good
man as Kauff Manager Tinker says
ne would not trade his center fielder
for the Brooklyn star.
McHenry, the new pitcher secured
by the Reds from the Northwestern
country, is as large as Orvie Overall
and has as much speed.
Four former Milwaukee Brewers
are now members of the Sox regulars.
They are Happy Felsch, Ray Schalk,
Lena Blackburne and Memo Leibold.
Manager Robinson has talked Phil
Douglass into believing that he can
pitch and the Red discard is coming
through in nice shape for the Dodgers.
Benny Kauff does not believe in in
vesting his money in real estate or
bonds, but puts as much as he can
spare into diamonds. He has one ring
said to be worth 5000.
Even If Jack Coombs is through az
a pitcher, Manager Robinson of the
Dodgers has enough good pitchers left
to keep up the fight he is making for
the top.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

journey he finds the catcher sQuatted
in the line two feet from the plate to
block him.
AL Bridwell, now with the Feds,
pulled a clever one on Joe Tinker
when Tinker was with the Cubs and
Bridwell with the Giants-and won a
game by it.
someone made hit. The hit was
short and sharp, and there was small
chance for him to go to third on it..
He turned second at full speed. Tinker
was watching him and placed him
self exactly on the route Bridwell
would have to traverse to reach third,
and then turned his back to make him
self appear innocent of intent to in
terfere.
His object was to make Bridwell
turn wide to pass around him and
lose perhaps three or four steps in
distance. Bridwell saw the move. He
also saw that it was hopeless to try
to reach third. Instead he turned Sec
ond at top speed, dashed up the line,
bumped Tinker. grabbed him and
fell.
In an instant he scrambled to his
feet and shouted to the umpire, who
turned Just in time to see the two
men struggling to their feet. Natu-
rally he supposed Tinker had inter
fered. He let Bridwen go to third
and he scored on a fly and won the
game.
Not one Of the Chicago players
kicked. They realized that Bridwell
had out-tricked them at their own
game, and gave him due credit for 1t.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Good Address.

Joseph e. Widener, the millionaire
sportsman, was talking in Newport
about homes.
Philadelphia is the city of homes"
he said, but if your home is north
of Market street you are considered.
socially speaking, out of it. Your
home must be south of Market street
you must live downtown-if you
would be social personality in Phila-
delphia."
And yet, after ALL" said an English
man, what difference does it make
where man lives?''
1T makes all the difference In the
world" said Mr.. Widener. "A fact
that is well remembered about Dr.
ogenes today is that he lived in Q
tub" ,
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
GOOD YEAR FOR DAN GRINER
Jinx Has Been Following Big st. Louis
Twirler-Better Things Predicted
for This Season.

Big Dan Griner, Cardinal pitcher,
has been camping at the outer door of
the Hall of Fame ever since he joined
the st. Louis team, but always some
thing has seemed to bar this entry.
Two years ago it was an illness that
overlook him in midseason. Last year
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

he engaged in a feud with Wingo and
Magee that is said to have so worked
upon his health that it was impossible
for him to do his best. This year he
is reported to be in excellent condi.
tion and as Wingo and Magee have
gone from the team st. Louis dope ex.
perts are predicting that the big fel
low will prove himself to be one of the
best pitchers in the National league.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Caddy Is Doomed.

The doom of the caddy is read in
the invention of D. and K. Roberts of
Grantham, England. They have pat.
ented an adjustable golf stick, with
interchangeable heads, so that it will
be necessary for the player to carry
only the stick and as many heads as
he wishes to use. Even the number
of heads is cut down by having two
striking faces on each, either of
which may be used.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
1Wo Classes

That jitnoy gave you mighty
hard bump"
Il should say so. / have been laid.
up for two weeks"
Good thing you carry accident In
surance."
Yes. but it doesn't get me anything
in this case"
Il should like to know why not?"
Il could see in the chauffeur's eye
that his hitting me was not going to
be an accident"
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Records for Harner

Harry Harper, Minneapolis pitcher
developed a wild streak in a recent
game that sets record. He issued
20 passes in eight innings. Harper
also pitched a no-hit game recently
and came very near establishing .
new association record.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Bresnahan to Lead Toledo

The story is going the rounds agair
that Roger Bresnahan is to lead the
Toledo team in the American asso
citation next year. He will be par,
owner in the club. according to thf
story.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Red Murray Helms Cubs.

The addition Of Red Murray to the
Cubs list will strengthen the team
just where they need it. Bresnahau
has been very weak in pinch hitters
and Murray should fill big hole.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

In the sixteenth century dictionaries
were chained in the schoolhouses. az
Bibles were in the churches, by rea-
son Of their costliness and rarity.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20
Tired of Him.

He-I always pay as | go.
She (yawning)-I don't think you'll
ever become bankrupt.-Judge.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

Submarines for naval purposes were
first developed by France.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

Even If Jack Coombs is through az
pitcher, Manager Robinson of the
Dodgers has enough good pitchers left
to keep up the fight he is making for
the top.
The Ely miner., 1915-08-20

The Yanks expect to land Miller
,ne of the Southern leagues best out.
ielders.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
NOT SUITABLE FOR THE NAVY
Would.Be Sailors Hardly Understood
the Duties Required Of Fighters
on the SHIPS Of U. S.

They tell a story about certain
secretary of the navy who had never
seen a snip, and VINO exclaimed, when
he began to explore man war,
Good gracious. IT'S hollow This is
an unlikely yarn. but II is a tact that
there are people who apparently know
as little about a ship as a Sioux In
dian.
Some weeks ago a man visited the
receiving ship Wabash, lying at the
Charleston tMassl navy yard, and
saId ne would ike to ship. nut would
not enlist II he could not be given
work to which ne was accustomed.
he was not enlisted, tor he would be
useless. He was paperhanger.
Another man went aboard aud
asked to see the captain lie was in
formed that that official was very
busy He then made his ervand
known to the officer OF the deck. He
wanted to enlist and care for the cap
tain morse, fOr he was a stableman.
Another wanted to enlist as ships
rooter. and once a garde Ter called to
obtain employment. Flowers and Gar-
dens are scarce on board of United
States man.of-war, so he tailed to en-
ter the service.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
SOME TIMELY RINTS

In grating. the greatest care should
be observed that scions are not taken
from trees infested with San Jose
scale or that are in any way diseased.
Do not set out evergreens in the
fall. Have them delivered as early
in the spring as possible and make the
ground ready now.
In order to obtain the largest blooms
on your chrysanthemum plants, pick
Off all but the large central bud and
do it as soon as the buds begin to
show.
After the drain tile has been put in,
crushed rock, gravel or coal cinders
will keep the ground in good c0ndi.
tion.
Do not be in hurry to mulch the
strawberry beds. Wait until good
stiff freeze comes along,
After the bees have been safely
housed in a dry cellar, with the boz
toms of the hives resting on pieces
about two inches thick, do not disturb
them until spring.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
A n u r &c !!
The Newest Discovery in Chemistry

"Anuric" manufactured by DR.. Pierce,
or even write Dr. Pierce for a large
trial package 10c). If you suspect
kidney or bladder trouble, send him
sample of your water and describe
symptoms DR.. Pierce's chemist viii
examine it, then DR.. Pierce will report
to you without fee or charge.
NOTE. - "Anuric" is thirty-seven
times more active than lithia in elimi.
mating uric acid, and is a harmless but
reliable chemical compound that may
be safely given to children, but should
be used only by grown-ups who actu-
ally wish to restore their kidneys to
perfect health, by conscientiously
using one box-or more in extreme
cases-as "Anuric" thanks to Doctor
Pierce's achievemenO is by far the
most perfect kidney and bladder cor.
rector obtainable.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
WAYS OF STIMULATING BRAIN
Many Methods Employed by Those
Who Are Engaged in Mental Work
That Demands the Best.

Some experiments made in the last
few years with a view to discovering
the best position OF the body TO pro.
mote mental activity may be respOn-
sible in the future Tor a new attitude
in Offices. reading rooms and schools
These experiments show that the ef
hcient working of the brain is largely
dependent upon the supply of blood TO
that organ.
Prolonged physical eXertion enlee'
bles the circulation, and the task OF
the heart to pump blood up to the
brain becomes more difficult. In such
circumstances, II It is desired to get
the brain to work better It is neces.
sary TO render the heart some assist
ance in its uphill task.
My attention was turned in this di
rection first many years ago. when
| was called upon one night after a
long days work to write an article i'm
mediately sat down with pen, ink
and paper. but was unable to get a
single idea OF to write a word.
reasoned out the situation. The
brain was the same as it was yester-
day; it worked then Why should it
not work today?
1t occurred to me that the day be.
fore | was not tired, and probably
the circulation was little more brisk,
and so | concluded that ! must give
the heart some help in the work OF
pumping the blood.
lay fiat upon the table, and at
once ideas began to flow and pen be-
gan to run across the paper. Having
made good start, ! thought ! could
resume the ordinary sitting posture.
Immediately, however. the mind be
came a blank. and ! was Obliged TO
lay my head OH the table and finish
the article in that position.
have since learned that this was
by no means an isolated instance.
The act of mastication, by stimulat-
ing some branch of the fifth nerve.
seems to increase the circulation to
the brain.
An experiment of Marey's proved
that during mastication the now OF
blood through the carotid artery was
accelerated and this probably ac-
counts for various chewing habits
The late Lord Derby, for instance.
used to eat branded cherries when
engaged in arduous mental work.
An editor | know always ate figs
while writing leading articles. A
leader writer on the same paper used
to sip brandy and water. He prob
ably stimulated his cerebral circula-
tion by the local action of the brandy
on his mouth. by the effect of slipping
on the heart, and by that of alcohol
on the vessels. The net result was
that he always went home from the
office drunk Sir Lauder Brunton in
the Chicago Sunday Examiner.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
The RypIay Ministries.

Mr.. lnterlocutor can you tell
me what class of people are fondest Of
bad company
NO, Mr. Bones, ! cannot VIII you
tell us what class OF people are fond
est OF bad company
why. doctors. Mr.. Interlocutor."
And why doctors. Mr.. BonesY
Because the worse people are the
oftener they visit them
AS soon as the police have restored
order and the bricks and tomato cans
have been removed from the stage,
Mr.. o. Suffryn Mackerel will render
his pathetic ballad, When I'm Dream
ing of Garlic I'm Dreaming of You.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12

This is a recent discovery Of Doctor
Pierce, who is head of the lnvalid's
Hotel and Surgical Institute at Buffalo,
n Y. Experiments at DR.. Pierce's
Hospital for several years proved that
there is no other eliminator of uric
acid that can be compared to it. For
chose easily recognized symptoms Of
nfammation-as backache, scalding
urine and frequent urination, as well
as sediment in the urine, or If uric
acid in the blood has caused rheuma-
tism, it is simply wonderful how sure
y "Anuric" acts. The best of results are
always obtained in cases of acute
rheumatism in the joints, in gravel
and gout, and invariably the pains and
stiffness which so frequently and per
sistently accompany the disease rap
idly disappear.
Go to your nearest drug store and
simply ask for a 50-cent package of
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12

If possible, set the box where ii will
have bottom heat for three or four
days, and be sure to keep moist,
when, If your seeds were fresh. you
will find the rows all cracked open and
the green seed leaves peeking out.
Remove cover and take away from
heat Immediately. Place in a strong
light.
These directions you will find ap'
plicable to all small seeds. vegetable
as well as flower. Never forget to wa
ter, however, and keep covered with
cloth until removed to the window
Do not let them grow long stems
Spindling seedlings are a calamity.
When the plants have their fourth
leaf, transplant to fiat an inch apart
each way. These transplantings cause
wonderful root development, which
tells later in the quality of bloom.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
MOTHERS MOTIONS"
Good for Young People to Follow.

"My little grandson often comes up
to show me how large the muscles Of
his arms are.
He was a delicate child, but has de-
veloped into strong, healthy boy and
Postum has been the principal factor.
Il was induced to give him the Post
um because of my own experience
with it.
81 am sixty years old, and have been
a victim of nervous dyspepsia for
many years. Have tried all sorts Of
medicines and had treatment from
many physicians, but no permanent re-
lief came.
Il used to read the Postum adver-
tisements in our paper At first gave
hut little attention to them, but finally
something in one of the advertise
ments made me conclude to try Pos
tum.
Il was very particular to have It
prepared strictly according to direc-
tions, and used good, rich cream. 1t
was very nice indeed, and about bed
time | said to the members of the fam
lily that [ believed l felt better. One
of them laughed and said, That's an
other of mothers notions but the no
tion has not left me yet.
4 continued to improve right along
after leaving off coffee and taking
Postum, and now after three years
use | feel so we'll that l am almost
young again. know Postum was the
cause of the change in my health and
cannot say too much in it's favor.
wish / could persuade all nervous peo-
pie to use it,"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
Postum comes in two forms:
Postum Cereal---the original form
must be well boiled. 15c and 25c pack
ages.
instant Postum-a soluble powder
dissolves quickly in a cup Of hot water,
and, with cream and sugar, makes a
delicious beverage instantly. S0c and
SOC tins.
Both kinds are equally delicious and
cost about the same per cup.
There's Reason" for Postum.
sold by Grocers.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1915-11-12
Not for Himself.

Donald, boy of ten years had been
sent to an apothecary store and told
TO get a package of cigarettes for his
father and rubber nipple for his haby
sisters nursing bottle The druggist
declined to give the boy the cigarettes.
fearing that he wanted them for him
self Indignant because of this i'm
pugning of his veracity after he mad
said that the cigarettes were for his
father, the boy said
Huh! s'pose you think that the
nipple is for me, too, don't your
Judge.