davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
Sporting Notes.

Query: How long win this $1,000
which johnson got before the fight last
him?
Joe Choynski. the only man up to
yesterday who ever knocked out John
son. picked the big smoke TO win. lie
declared that if johnson lost il would
not be by the knockout route.
A triple BY Reilly Of Yale and 4 sin
Gle by Reht, pinch hitter, gave Yale
the winning run over Holy Cross at
Baltimore yesterday by score Of >
to l. Wallace of Holy Cross allowed
only five hits.
Mrs. Jess Willard at her home n
Los Angeles, when informed that her
husband had won, said: - knew he
would win. Then, turning to the 10
months-old son, she sand: . oul daily
IS champion OF the world. Evidently
Mrs. Willard is as undeHoIstratiye as
her husband
Now the hard luck stories are being
received from the teams on their sew
eral ways home from the spring train
ing camps. Most Of the stars are either
crippled or sick to read the reports.
Evers is suffering with hard cold on
his lungs and HoblitzeI Of the Red Sex
has strained groin. Anybody but .
ball player could have both of these
troubles and never get even honorable
mention in his home.
Old Bob Armstrong hit the fake
story on the head so far as Johnson
was concerned when he said: . What
could johnson gain if he faxed and
tossed away his title? Ism t he a man
| without country? What earthly
chance would he have if he ended his
career an acknowledged faker2 He
wouldn t fake this battle when his
good fighting reputation is his real
bankroli. Pretty good dope.
According to the Londonderry Sift-
er DR.. Ben. +. Roller, who has been
postponing boxing match with
George W. Bailey, is to wrestle tonight
IN the town hall in South Londonderry
with Cyclone Mattson, who claims the
hight heavyweight' championship of
Vermont. Roller agrees to throw Matt
son three times in an hour. Unless
! Mattson has improved wonderfully
since his appearance here against Roll
Ter, the physician should have very
easy time.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
Out of Mouths of Babes.

Sunday School Teacher-Can you tell
me who dwelt in the Garden of Eden2
Little May-Yes, ma am, the Adj
amses.
What is an amateur, Bobby ~
quered his small sister
: An amateur replied Bobby, is
anything that ism t nature
Mama, quoried little Myra, do
you think grandpa has really gone to
heaven?'
= Yes, dear, was the reply.
Well, continued Mvra, ON bet
he sneaks outside once in a while TO
smoke his pipe
Can you tell me what a canthook
is, Tommy?'' asked the teacher.
Sure, replied Tommy. s a
cow thathasn t any horns Detroit
Free Press.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
SOME OLD RECORDS TO
REFRESH YOUR MEMORY.

Harry Stovey of the Athletics holds
the record for stolen bases. He pilfer-
ed 156 in 1888.
The first scheme for playing baseball
was devised by Abner Doubleday at
Cooperstown, n. Y, in 1889.
The only two triple unassisted plays
in history We're made by Paul Hines
of the Providence team in Providence,
May 8, 1873, and Neal Ball of the
Cleveland club in Cleveland, July 10,
1909.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
BASEBALL POINTERS
WORTH REMEMBERING.

The Cincinnati club of 1868 was the
first TO receive salary.
The greatest number of consecutive
games won is twenty, made by Provi-
dence in 1884.
Greatest number of consecutive
games lost is twenty-six, made by
Louisville in 1889.
The longest game on record is TWEEN
ty-six innings, played between Phila-
delphia and Boston in Boston, Sept. 1,
1906. Philadelphia won, to 1.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
CALDWELL SHOWS LOYALTY.
New Club Owner Makes a Decided Hit
With Ray

Ray Caldwell has decided to forget
his recent detection to the Feds and
has promised that for the coming sea
son his thoughts will be all for the
interests Of Messrs. Rupert and Hus-
ton. Caldwell, though erratic at times,
is easily the premier of the Yankees
pitching staff.
The liberal policy of the new man
agement of the club has made pro-
found impression on the big right
handler.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
TEAM E TAKES GAME.
Defeated Team G 1886 to 1924 on Ma
sonic Alleys Last Night.

Team E of the Masonic bowling
league defeated team G, 1856 to 1924,
last evening. Spaulding had high sim
gle of % and Cain with 261 took the
three string individual honors. The
next game will be played Friday even
ing between teams B and G.
The game between teams A and D
scheduled for Thursday evening has
been postponed to next Monday. The
scores of last nights game:
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06

New Zealand has an island nearly
three miles in circumference. which Is
almost entirely composed Of sulphur
mixed with gypsum and a few other
minerals.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
BRESNAHAN AS UTILITY MAN.
Manager of Cubs Announces He viii
Be Active This Season.

Roger Bresnahan, manager of the
Chicago Cubs, has assigned to himself
job as utility man.
1--WE are allowed to carry only TWEEN
ty-one men, and so every resource
must be made to count" said Bresna-
han recently.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
Willie Knew.

Papa (concealing something in MS
hand)-Willie, can you tell me what
it is with heads on one side and tails
on the other?
Willie (triumphantly)-Oh, I know;
1t s a rooster on fence!-Judgo.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06

Recent government figures show
that only one person in every 1.00u
in Denmark is unable to read and
write, compared with seven in each
900 in the United States.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1915-04-06
New Uniforms For Athletics.

The Athletics win wear new uni
forms this season, Mack having decid-
ed to pass up the old reddish brown.
Evening star., 1915-02-28
HUMOR OF
THE SCHOOLROOM

EDITORS fesc ago teachers Of the United
- the ehroom Hundreds responded
sending total than thousand jokes OF
publication and had rejected; but the
We the market
printed
accepted
dollars Rejected returned
accompanied Editor
Magazines, 2East1 street, NeuY YokCiy
Evening star., 1915-02-28
A PRACTICAL REFORMER

DoRoTHY's mother is suffragette Of ad-
vanced type. Dorothy is dear little girl
in primary grade, but somewhat inclined to
copy her elders. One day her teacher received
a note from the secretary of the school board,
but waited until after class to read it. Dorothy
returned for some books, and caught tears in
Evening star., 1915-02-28

ling total of than t7yo thousand jokes Of
not quite good enough for Publication and had to be reec
hes to thank the acrers of them also. We still in the
anecdotes of This kind They te original beo
signed ac the authors initials if desired For each sto
" t7vo dollars. Rejected mdnusritts 7cW not be refur
led by stamped envelops Address The Editor, ASSOCIATE
S, 52 East 18th street, Ne1U York City,
the teachers eyes the latter had been denied in
salary upon which she had based large hopes
and said
why you crying?"
The teacher laughed and said, "The naughty old
school board isn't nice to mel"
Dorothy took hold of the teachers hand with both
hers and said very seriously "Dont you cry any
When we get the vote we women will correct such
things!"
SPINAL COLUMN DEFINED
THE subject for the hour was physiology.
planning the nature of the spinal column to class
of twelve year-olds. After finishing the discussion l
said to little Irish boy:
"Now, Michael, what is the spinal column
Scratching his head thoughtfully for minute, he
sni1ingly replied, "Well, Maam, It's the thing that
up and down your back. Yer head sits one
end, and you sit on the other VIC.
SHOULD HAVE BEEN PUNISHED
A TEACHER asked her school to the following
words in sentences Ahired, anHne, eanopies, and
cellar
1leSe answers were gwen. dtlHeu
at don't know what to do. q fish with hook ami
line ""she asked for canopies but he wouldn't cellar
anything"
RARE BIRDS
HOW did Columbus know he was nearing lando"
- asked the teacher of United States history.
"He encountered floating seaweed and saw birds in
the air." answered Willie, reading from his book
Up went Harrys hand.
well, Harry, what is t?"
Miss Page, what kind of birds birds? |
never heard of them before"
HoNI SOFT oUI PENSE
what rough struggle, and when received an u1l-
expected hard blow he exclaimed:
"If You don't look out you Il end up in place that
begins with H and ends with L.
A passing teacher, hearing the remark scolded the
boy severely for what he had said.
"Wel' replied the boy after pause, I'm l
hospital"
SAMMY PROTESTS
TT up in old Vermont. One day the teacher was
telling his history class of the greatness of Great
Britain and France. "Why,' said he Great Britain
has much land that the sun never ceases shine on
it. Let's call her the Sun France is the land of polite
ness, Children where all the little boys tip their hats
the girls She isn't so large as Great Britain SO
let's call her the Moon"
Little Bobby Cole and Jeanne Jarvis sat with heads
erect, eyes sparkling, drinking in the words. Bobby
Evening star., 1915-02-28


young and rather pretty teacher
from Lincoln County told the
following:
at has been my custom to
encourage discussion of subjects
outside the lesson papers, and
along this line one day spoke
of ambitions. After l had set
before the class the desirabity of having high aims
asked pupils what each planned be- One wanted to
be DOCTOR another President, another aviator,
other electric motornan another engineer
railroad, and around the class, until reached
Tommy.
Tommy is bright, handsome youngster of seven
years, and expecting him to want to be someone
of great importance the world puzzled to find
him plainly much embarrassed He dldnt want to tell
me his ambition but finally asked if he might whisper
it to Much interested, | gave him permission,
and he trudged up to my desk. Even there he hesi
tated.
"'Cone, come, Tommv' l said somewhat impa-
tientlv. Tell me what it is you be in life
He raised himself tiptoes and slipped
about my neck as he whispered Your-your husbandr"
TEACHER WAS FOOLED
At German recitation the class asked for the
German forms of English words.
"Wfat is the German for La7vyer, Tommy" asked
Miss Jones OF my neighbor
The German for lazvyer is pronounced Ahd- -fo-kaM
Although Tommy and had studied this lesson with
great zeal the night before could recollect the
word SO Tommy stammered very sullenly:
Il fogot."
"Good." said Miss Jones, first to Tommv's aston
ishnent, then his amusement as he saw the point
and finally to his delight because he avoided getting
zero. E. F. NJ
ASKED FOR INFORMATION
THE minister visited the Sunday school class one
Sunday afternoon, just after Christmas, and un-
rolled beautifully coored chart depicting the Flight
into Egypt. And" said he, using the pointer "the
angel said Joseph, take ye the mother and child
and flee into Egypt Isn't that beautiful Chidreno7
asked the minister. Here you see Joseph, the angel,
the Mother and the Child. In the background is
Egypt
Before he could go further small voice was heard
inquiringly, Where's the 1ea?s NJ. j. P
LOOKED FOR PAPA
WILLIAMS s uncle a very tall, fne-loolng man.
while his father very small. William ad-
nired his uncle. and wished grow up like him. One
day he said to his mother:
"Mama how did Uncle grow SO big and tall?7
His mother said, WELL when Uncle was small
boy he was always very good boy, and tried to
do what right at all times; so God let him grow
up big and tall
William thought this seriously for a few min
utes then said, "Mana, what kind of boy
Papa?"
A PRACTICAL REFORMER
DOROTHY'S mother is a suffragette of ad-
vanced type. Dorothy is a dear little girl D
in primary grade, but somewhat inclined to &
Evening star., 1915-02-28

was English, Jeanne was French, II
and both were proud of their III
respective countries. However,
all the children not in
terested, especially Sammy
Allen, typical little Yankee,
who diligently searching
Sunday school book. Not find
ing what he hewaned, and appear
ing to be unable to restrain
himself any longer, he blurted 1A
out:
"Yes, Sir; but George Wash
inston told the Sun and the Moon stop right dead
STILL and l betcha they did too'
ART CRITICISM
THIS artist, remarked the teacher the conclusion
of the drawing lesson painted many other beaut-
full pictures, which hung in the galleries of Paris
Now want you little boys and girls to write
position about this great painter
One OF said little boys wrote, "The artist painted
many beautiful pictures, for which he hung the
galows in Paris" N NJ
ROARING ALL THE WAY
HAZEL was the pet of the class pretty as picture
- and stupid in lessons she attractive in
appearance
Hazel" said the teacher, "we had lesson the
earhs axis last week Now what is the earths axs?"
@The axis of the earth, replied Hazel, is menagerie
lion, running from the north pole to the south pole
In every twenty-four hours.
MUSIC BY THE PECK
At the beginning of musical exercise the sign "a
TEACHER: @What does the number 3 tell uso"
PUPIL (age ~ "There three quarts of notes in
measure
1T COULDN'T HEAR. ANYWAY
TEACHER: @The bones of person or animal sepa-
rated from the skin and flesh we call skeleton
Shows picture of skeleton) "Have bones ears
Pupils: "Yes Maam
TEACHER: "Then why doesn't skeleton have ears?"
LIZZIE: Because it doesn't need any"
Mrs. NJ. is.
IN THE NATURE CLASS
THE nature lesson was to be on nuts.
TEACHER: John, you may tell me three kinds of
nuts you know.
JoHN (without hesitaton): "Doughnuts, peanuts,
and forget-me-nuts."
EMBARRASSING QUESTIONS
A YOUNGSTER in my Sunday school Glass; on being
assured that God omnpotent, asked after
some hesitation, "Teacher, He make stone so
heavy that He can't lift it,"
And had "yes' framed for the before saw
the point.
Another instance served to ernbarrass COM
petely. 1t when visitor of the church board
talking the class A rather TALL thin man
he was rather addicted to physical culture perhaps
theoretically than practically He telling
the class that to for the body to nourish
the soul. He was getting enthusiastic when
he exclaimed:
"Ten years ago was gaunt shadow of
man l that unless l did something for
4 my health l could not live very long. So 1
Ia took to exercise And what do you suppose
- has wrought this great change in me, Chill
~ dreno"
u Just then the mpish member Of my
class leaned forward and inquired, wat
change NIP.
Evening star., 1915-02-28
IN THE NATURE CLASS

THE nature lesson to be nuts.
TEACHER: John, you may tell me three kinds of
nuts you know.
JoHN (wthout hesitation): "Doughnuts, peanuts,
and forget-ne-nuts.
Evening star., 1915-02-28
HIS HIGHEST AMBITION

HIS HIOHESI AMb1 ION
MANY of the teachers at
A'A tending a recent teachers
convention at Portland, Maine,
had good stories to tell. One
young and rather pretty teacher
from Lincoln County told the
following:
at has been my custom to
encourage discussion of subjects
outside the lesson papers, and
along this line l one day spoke
of ambitions. After | had set
Evening star., 1915-02-28
MUSIC BY THE PECK

At the beginning of musical exercise the sign
TEACHER: what does the number 3 tell ls2
PUPIL (age y: "There three quarts of notes in
a measure
Evening star., 1915-02-28
IT COULDN'T HEAR. ANYWAY

TEACHER: @The bones of person animal sepa-
rated from the skin and flesh call skeleton
Shows picture of skeleton) "Have we bones in ears
Pupils: "Yes, AIa'am.
TEACHER: "Then why doesn' t skeleton have ears?'
LIZZIE: Because it doesn't need any"
Mrs NJ. T. S.
Evening star., 1915-02-28
ROARING ALL THE WAY

HAZEL the pet of the class, pretty picture,
- and as stupid in lessons as she attractive in
appearance
Hazel said the teacher, "we had lesson on the
earths axis last week Now what is the earths axis?"
"The axis of the earth, replied Hazel, is menagere
lion, running from the north pole to the south pole
in every twenty-four hours.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-30
AN INHERITED TRAIT

"Your daughter is improving" said
the music-teacher, "but somehow
when she gets to the scales 1 have to
watch her pretty closely"
"She's just like her father" said
the mother; you know he made his
money in the retail grocery bust
ness. Ladies' Home Journal
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-30
THEY WON'T

at is a great pity" said the girl
who is popular, chat young men
won't arrange their visits on the
short and sweet plan"
What is that?" asked the other
girl.
go home early and leave a box
of candy. IN. Y World.
= -O-O@
! Gnat Ito mosquito -What's Fred
dy Fly doing nowadays?
: Mosquito-Oh, he's become con-
nected with paper-(fy paper.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-30
w=Rs1uu=N
K>l8aaNtNr5aM>%


Winston Churchill, the famous au-
thor, once met an old Missouri friend
on Broadway, New York Seth had
left Missouri raw country boy but
was now niftily dressed and had &C
quired all the polish a big city can
give rustic.
Doing wen, eh Seth?" asked
Churchill.
"Yep-doing fine. Suppose you
saw bout me in the papers yester-
day."
mo-" replied Churchill, 81 didn't,
What was it?"
why they said that figures show
ed there are over 100000 people in
New York"
"WeIl p"
I'm one of them amt II"
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-30
PRETTY BAD

What's his character
apart from this leave-breaking?
Petty Oficer-WeI, sir, this man
e goes ashore when e likes; e comes
off when e likes; e uses 'orrible Ian
guage when 'e's spoken to; in fact,
from is general be'avior, e might be
an orficeF!-Punch.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-30
WHERE MOULD HE 90?

Mamma" queried Bobby anxious
ly, ''is papa goin' to die an go to
heaven?"
why, Bobby" exclaimed his
mother. "Of course not! What on
earth ever put such an absurd idea
into your head?"-Ladies' Home
Journal.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-09-30

WOODY DECORATIONS
81 understand" said Uncle Bill Bot
tletop, "that the Turks are total alb
stainers."
YES"
well, maybe they are. But can't
see how any total abstainer could
think up some of the designs they put
in Turkish rugs"
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30
COULD SCARCELY
WALK ABOUT

believe would have died Il I hadsrl
taken Il.
After ! began taking Cardui, I wac
greatly helped, and all three bottles To-
lieved me entirely.
! fattened up, and grew so MUGS
stronger in three months, felt like "a.
other person altogether"
Cardui is purely vegetable and gentle
acting. Its ingredients have a mild. tonic
effect. on the womanly constitution.
Cardui makes for increased strength.
improves the appetite, tones up the ner-
vous system, and helps to make pale,
sallow cheeks, fresh and rosy.
Cardui has helped more than a mIIlios
weak women, during the past so years.
II will surely do for you. what il has
done for them. Try Cardui today.
Write 20: Chattanooga Medicine Co.. Lsd,.,' "A.
visory Dept. Chattanooga. Tenn. for Special N.
strttcf,ons on your case ard 6-psee book, "f1o1s
Treatment for Women" sent 10 plain ~rappsf. -
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30
WhOOping Cough.

Well-everyone knows the effect
of Pine Forest on Coughs. DR.. Bells
Pine-Tar-Honey is remedy which
brings quick relief for Whooping
Cough. loosens the mucous. soothes
the lining of the throat and lungs
and makes the coughing spells less
severe. A family with growing chill
dren should not be without IL. Keep
It handy for all Coughs and Colds.
25c. at your Druggist. 2
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30

inspiration attached to the season
which kindles hope in all hearts, but
causes us, in the temporary buoyan-
cy of the balmy days, to forget the
serious.
II is the season when millions of
insects will soon be abroad in the
land. Just as soon as the sun warns
the earth these hidden creatures of
the air and earth will creep from
their winter hiding places and hui
manity will b. worried with them un-
til the frosts of October put an end
to their careers.
These hordes of insects that are
already beginning to appear with
the advance of spring come from
many sources. If we could take a
record of those so ensconded, make
a rough estimate of the relative
number in a given area as the lawn,
the garden and the grove, we would
be greatly surprised.
Thousands of crawling things,
winged and wingless, appear immed-
lately after frost leaves the ground
and the warmth of the new season is
felt. The earth will soon be teeming
with these small insect pests.
Among the first to make their ap-
pearance are flies and worms. The
fly is the most dreaded and most
dangerous of all the summer insects
and flies have already made their
appearance, so the swatting season
has been duly inaugurated and the
time of the fly crusade must not be
neglected. They multiply with mi
raculous rapidity. Every fly killed
means that millions of other flies
not yet in existence, will be also ex-
terminated
The cut worms, which are cater
pillars of dull gray and brown moths
with forewings often delicately mark
ed. come next. They hide in crannies
of earth and under stones and logs,
emerging to feed at night on what
ever growing succulent vegetation
substance can be easily reached. I
Following these, sometimes earl
Ter, the beetle family begins activity,
the wasp and yellow jacket and all
OF the rest of the insect world.
1t is at such a time that the far
mer should appreciate the friendship
of the birds for they are the insects
natural enemy. Only one of this
fast breeding family of insects is
welcome. and that is the honey bee.
These busy little insects began work
weeks ago. Floral wagons on the
streets of the city were visited be-
fore Easter by these active hunters
of honey.
The other pests should be destroy
ed and the work of destruction should
begin at once.-Memphis Appeal.
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30
And For Three Summers Mrs. Vim
cent Was Unable to Attend to
Any Of Her Housework.

Pleasant Hill. N. CO suffered for
three summers" writes Mrs. Walter
Vincent, Of this town, "and the third and
last time, was my worst.
had dreadful nervous headaches and
prostration, and was scarcely able to
walk about. Could not do any of my
homework.
! also had dreadful! pains in my back
and sides and when one of those weak,
sinking spells would come on me, I
would have to give up and lie down,
until II wore off.
] was certainly in dreadful state of
health, when finally decided to Try
Cardui. the woman's tonic. and I firmly
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30
HOw's This1

We offer One Hundred Dollars
Reward for any case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
r. J. CHENEY q CO.. Toledo. o.
We. the undersigned. have known +. j.
him perfectly honorable In all business
transactions and financially able to carry
cat any obligations made by his firm.
NATIONAL BANK OF COMMERCE..
Toledo. q.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally.
acting directly upon the blood and mu-
cous surfaces of the system. TESTIMONIALS
sent free. Price rs cents per bottle. Sold
by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30
Farm For Sale.

Eighty acres of good land contain
ing dwelling. barn and other out
buildings, situated on Hartford and
Rockport road. Well and spring on
farm. Church and schoOlhouse near.
For price, terms. etc., call or address
BARNETT & SON, Agts.
34tf Hartford, Ky.
The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1915-04-30
Your Child's Cough is Call For
Help

Don't put off treating your Child's
Cough. 1t not only saps their
strength, hit often leads to more SER
ious ailments. Why risk? You don't
have to. DR.. Kings New Discovery is
just the remedy your Child needs.
1t is made with soothing. healing
and antiseptic balsams. Will quickly
check the Cold and soothe your
Child's Cough away. No odds how
bad the Cough or how long stand
ing. DR.. Kings New Discovery will
stop it. It's guaranteed. Just get a
bottle from your Druggist and try
1t. 2