davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
SAID BY SCHOLARS
Some "HoWIers" That Are Worth
Preservation.
As Samples Of Peculiar Mixups That
VIII Occur in the Minds Of Youth
They Are Entertaining
and Illuminating.

The source of food supply in Eng
land is in ships" Here is a school
boy bowler" which the Philadelphia
Evening Ledger says turns out to be
an important fact-and one which has
been well illuminated by recent
events. 1t is timely information, too.
that TO germinate is to become nat
uralized German" From the same
source-the class in civil government
we receive the reminder that the
president takes the yoke of Office"
The joke is on US. For, to quote a
schoolboy: The press today is the
mouthorgan OF the people" Which, in
phraseology, suggests another boy s
description of how the cavalry swept
over the eyebrow of the hill.'
The reader is earnestly requested
not to apply the Salic law to this COM
pilation: The Salic law is that you
must take everything with grain of
salt" Many of these "howlers" are
taken from the notebook of the writer,
who had experience as a high-school
teacher. 1t should be added, for the
sake of the boys that some of the
hOwlers were written by girls.
Now let us begin with the class in
civil government.
Il don't know anything about the
constitution, as l was born in Kan
sas.'
The minority is composed OF the
minors"
The spoils system: The place
where spoiled things and waste are
kept. The board of health has large,
ly taken the place of this
An ex post facto law is one that
gives officers a right to go to foreign
countries and get criminals, dead or
alive, and take them back to the
place where the crime was commit.
ted. 1t is law where the crimes OF
the father descend to his children
they are punished for him"
An ex post facto law is one that
gives electricity"
George Washington was a land
savory''
Lord Raleigh was the first man to
see the invisible Armada" Eng
lish)
"Tennyson wrote In Memoran.
dunn"
"Tennyson also wrote poem called
Graves Energy"
Louis XIV was gelatined during the
French revolution"
Ben Johnson is one of the three
highest mountains of Scotland"
George Eliot left a wife and chill
dred to mourn his genii'
Henry | died Of eating Palfreys.
Caesar was king and went high
up on mountain
Lincoln had a woman make him a
suit of homespun from rails which
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
he split. Thev were hickory rails,

he split Thev were hickory rails,
hence hickory shirts
Franklin produced electricity by
rubbing cats backwards"
Where poisoning by acids is caused
the blood should be Immediately
drawn from the bruises to send back
the acids
IF schoolroom is without ventila-
tion how are the pupils to study with
the fowl air pressed down upon them;
it makes them oftentimes sick and
inclined to laziness."
The blood vessels are the veins, ar
teries and artilleries.
You might think from these ques-
tions that the brain really is "a soft
bunch covered with wrinkles" Or
perhaps your conclusion would agree
with this; The bones of the blood
are the cerebrum, the cerebellum and
other small ZONES"
Reflex action is when anything is
turning in one direction, and it turns
in the other"
The man who eats too fast or too
wen may D6 Interested TO KNOW Inat
the heart is located in the left part
OF the stomach in a loose membrane
sack"
"A deacon is the lowest kind of
Christian"
'Mayday commentaries the landing
of the Maytiower."
The Boxers were Corbett, Fitzsim-
mons and Bill Johnson" ('Were" is
correct.)
"A renegade is a man who kills a
king"
In India a man out of cask may
not marry a woman out OF another
| cask''
The Pharisees were people who
liked to show off by praying in syno-
! nyms.'
Modern conyeniences: Incubators
and fireless telegraphy."
"A lie is an aversion to the truth. "
| tAh. an epigramD
The German emperor has been
called the geyser." Worse than that
AnG now, gentle reader, school Is
dismissed for the day.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
SLAVS REPEL GERMAN SHIPS
Russian Mines Damage Three Teuton
Wsrships in Attack on Gulf
Of Riga.

Petrosrad, via London, Aug. 13-
The following Official communication
has just been issued:
"A German fleet Of nine battleships
and twelve cruisers with large mum.
ber of torpedo boat destroyers per.
sistently attacked the entrance to the
Gulf of Riga, but everywhere were re.
pulsed. Our sea-planes, throwing
bombs, contributed to our success. A
cruiser and two torpedo boat destroy.
ers of the enemy We're damaged by
our mines"
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Sacrifice for Art.

One cold, wet and windy night he
came upon a negro shivering in the
ing what the darky could be doing
standing on a cold, wet night in such
place, the proprietor of the shop
said:
Jim, what are you doing here?"
"'Scuse me, sah," said JON, but
I'm gwine to sing bass tomorrow
mornin' at church, an l am trying to
ketch a cold"
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Alaskan Land Withdrawn.

Washington, Aug. l3.-Nearly half
the land in the Chogach national for.
ernment railroad is to run, has been
restored 10 the public domain by proc.
lamation Of President Wilson, 5,S02,.
Geo acres being withdrawn. Forest
service officials explained that the
land withdrawn had been classified
and found lacking in timber value sufii
cient TO warrant government protec
tion. Homesteaders are warned that
the chances Of locating are not en-
couraging.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
ALLIES TRYING TO
OPEN DARDANELLES
HOPE TO POUR INTO RUSSIA
MUCH NEEDED MUNi-
TtONS OF WAR.
MAKE FRESH GAINS IN STRAITS
British Forces Succeed in Trebiing
Area Formerly held-AngIo-
French Commanders Plan to
Sweep Turks Before Them.

London, Aug. 13.-Athens dis
patches to the London Daily News
says British submarines have cen
tered the Black sea and torpedoed
the Turkish cruiser which was fer
meriy the 6reslau, one transport
and one gunboat.
London, Aug. 13.-The German
Baltic feet has occupied Libau,
Russia, as naval base. says the
Copenhagen correspondent Of the
Daily Mail. A large force OF ex-
perts is working night and day re-
pairing, adopting and terrifying
the harbor works.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Holland, as a result Of the cutting
off Of shipments from Great Britain
and Germany, is suffering from coal
famine.
Berlin reports that the Britis!
auxiliary cruiser India, Of 1900 tons
Eas been torpcdoed off the Nor
wegian coast.
Arrangements have been completed
for the exchange Of iHcapacitated Rus
sian and German prisoners Of wal
a dispatch from Copenhagen says.
THE only peace France can accept
r. one which will guarantee the secu'
rity Of Europe" read message from
President Poincare TO the French
Chamber Of Deputies
The labor Of a million men Will re
required to insure the predominance
Of the British feet al sea, the chan
ceIlOr Of the exChcquer, Reginald Nc
Kenna, declared at a meeting at Pres
ton, England.
"A lasting Russian offensive is no
longer to be expected in the near fu'
ture." says Major Moraht, military
critic Of the Berlin Tageblatt. In a
review Of the situation in Poland.
Pope Penedict has addressed a let
ter TO the Catholics OF east Prussia,
according 10 the Overseas News
agency, "expregsine his fatherly sym
rathy for the terrible war horrors
brought upon them by the Russian
inyasions"
The British torpedo boat DESTROYER
Lynx was sunk AS the result OF strik-
ing mine, according to an official
announcement made by the British
press bureau. Out Of q crew Of over
100 only four officers and twenty-five
men were saved
The French Chamber Of Deputies
passed hill carrying an arpropria-
,ion Of leo million francs $4,000
0ool. 70 he used in The purchase OF
wheat and -four for feeding the civil
population Of France. The limit Cf
such purchases IS fAed at 100000, ,o0a
francs.
Petr0erad is full Of wounded, the
Y lot aud tho
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
SPORTING

,-,, r. c.. ,z~. Nth ,ha
pr,',a-. ,,.r, - .,I - ,ooopo
49,. -. -;,,, ,bo
G, rsa~.,, 49,. ,nn a,,h
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:. . ~ '"p -. 49,
- ~'''
l.,, - '' p -. ON
o. -
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D''' 40
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The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Logical.

Blobbs-Bjones is the most unlucky
fellow at cards ever met.
Slobbs-Then l suppose he is lucky
in love?
Blobbs-I suppose so. At any rate,
he has never been married.-London
Opinion.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

American farmers. millers and
grain exporters made $400,oo0,o"o
profit during the first year OF war,
but cotton growers and shippers lost
s235 ,000.0o0, commerce department
announces.
One man was instantly killed.
another so badly injured that he died,
and two more hurt, one perhaps IA
tally, in the 300-mile automobile Der
by on the new mile speedway at Des
Dea Moines.
Dario Resta, driving a French car
at the rate OF 102s5 miles an hour,
won the Chicago speedway loo-mlie
race. In so doing he established a
new worlds competitive record for
the distance.
Formal demand for an eight-hour
work day with time and half pay Tor
overtime work was made on Presl-
dent S. 7. Davis of the Locomobiie
Company Of America by a committee
of five representing the employees, and
is expected 10 be accepted.
Thirty-seyen convicts on a motor
truck, which was crossing a railroad
track at Spokane, Wash, realized
that a collision with an approaching
switch engine was inevitable, and
refrained from jumping for fear OF
being shot by armed guards follow
ing In an automobile. The engine
crashed squarely into the truck and
seven were severely injured.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Queen Works as Nurse,

London, Aug. 13.-For several weeks
Queen Amelie of Portugal, concealing
her identity, has been working as a
common trained nurse in cap and gown
in the Third London General hospital
at Wandsworth, it was learned. Queen
Amelie has been working eight hours
daily performing all the heavy tasks
assigned to other nurses.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Not Easy to Do,

why is it that the dog is always
referred to as the most intelligent ami
mali" asked the elephant.
Because he knows how to get a
good living without doing any work" !"
replied the horse
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Oh Picklesl

Hazel don't like windy weather.
1t plays havoc with ones complexion.
Aimee-Perhaps you don't get your
complexion on thick enough.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Kansas City. Mo, was selected as
the next meeting place Of the amer
lean Osteopathic association at the
closing session Of its nineteenth an
nual convention at Portland Ore.
After a careful examination of the
new motor speedway at les Moines,
Where TWO fatal accidents occurred
recently, Coroner Claude Koons de-
cIared that ne believed the accidents
were not due to any fault in the
track
Five American ranchmon were
wounded TWO Of them seriously. and
several Mexican outlaws killed in a
fight between Texas rangers and
American ranchers and a band o.
Mexican bandits al Norias ranch, ter
miles north Of Lyford, Tex.
Warden Edmund NJ Allen Of the
Illinois peuitontiary resigned, and his
resignation was accepted by Governor
Dunno. following the Iatters refusal
TO grant Allen permission TO reside
outside the walls Of the prison. where
his wife was murdered several weeks
ago
Enlistment oi the UNEMPLOYED for
brief periods in the army and navy
was suggested by Ehelbert Stewart.
chief statistician cf the Department
Of Labor AT 'ha .pfr1 1a.,r,,,r+ -0,r..
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Inc lifsl report on operations OF
he twelve federal reserve banks,
shows that the system earned $91S,-
5Ss from November 16, 1914, to June
30, last.
Provisional American registry was
granted to the steamship Riga, the
fourth Of twelve foreign built vessels,
proposed for admission by the Amer.
can-Trans-Atlantic companies.
Treasury Comptroller George f.
Downey has been appointed associate
Justice of the court of claims. Ex-
Congressman A. Mitchell Palmer
probably will become counselor to the
state department.
American farmers are harvesting
the greatest wheat crop ever grown
in any one country. II may reach A
billion bushels. Department of agri-
cultural experts estimated the crop
at sec 100000 bushels, basing their
calculation on the condition of the
crop August l.
! President Wilson has signed an ex-
| neptive order, deciding the Big Lake
| reserye in northeastern Arkansas, for
| the protection of native birds. The
| new reserve. about nine miles long
and carrying from 100 yards to a mile
| and quarter in width, forms prob
! ably the most important bird reser
| yation in the country
|
| The United States treasury depart
| ment announced that on December
Secretary McAdoo would make public
! the names TO take steps to sue all
| persons who are able to pay and VIII.
| then have failed to pay advances of
! money made 10 them by the govern
mcnt to assist them in returning
home from Europe at the outbreak OF
the war.
State department officials have de-
| ,ided they are powerless to secure
re'ief from the riding censorship to
which American mail and cable mes
sages passing through the belligeren,
countries oi Europe are subjected
|
immigration was at its lowest since
S99 during the twelve months ended
July !, and the net increase IN the for
| ign population for the year was less
Than $4,000. Statistics show 326.7O0
immigrant and l07,5i4 non-immierant
aliens admitted to the United States
'du-iDg the year.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Libau, in the Province of Courland.
was occupied some time ago by Ger
man forces. 1t is about 60 miles by
water from the entrance to the Cuff of
Riga and about l40 miles by water
from the city OF Riga.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

SLAMS are fighting desperately TO ex.
tricate themselves from the Gordon of
Austro-German troops which is stead
lily pressing them more closely in Po'
land, their allies are working feyerish.
ly and with considerable success to
open the Dardanelles, through which
they hope to pour into Russia much.
needed munitions of war.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Treasury Comptroller George +.
Downey has been appointed associate
Justice of the court of claims. Ex-
Congressman A. Mitchell Palmer
state department.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Russians Hard Pressed.

Very heavy losses which already
have been inflicted on the Turks have
had discouraging effect upon the OF
toman troops, according to reports
from Greece. On the eastern front
kovno is the danger point in the Rus
sian line. The armies of Grand Duke
Nicholas apparently have arrested the
German offensive against Riga and
Dvinisk, but are being hard pressed
on the kovno front, which the Ger.
mans are attacking with guns of all
caliber, including the famous le-inch
cannon, which no fortress hitherto has
been able to Withstand
On the western front little has hap
pened beyond the usual artillery en-,
gagements.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Provisional American registry was
granted to the steamship Riga, the
fourth Of twelve foreign built vessels
proposed for admission by the Amer
ican anTrans-Atlantic companies.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

Mutz Ems, first baseman with the
Bridgeport club Of the Eastern league
last year has signed to play with the
St Joseph Western league club.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
Fighting Is Continuous.

Since Saturday night, when fresh
British forces were landed on the Gal
lipoli peninsula, there has been almost
continuous fighting on the krithia
road. In these operations the Austral-
ians and New Zealanders in the An
Zac" region, name taken from the
initial letters of the words Australian
New Zealand Army Corps" have CO
operated with new forces to the north
Following the successes OF the troops
on the krithia road and those to the
north of the Anzac zone. the Austral-
ians and New Zealanders took the Of
fensiVe Tuesday and succeeded in
trebling the area formerly held by
them. Their comrades to the north,
who assisted them, made no further
progress, however. simultaneously, the
French battieship st. Louis attacked
the Turkish batteries on the AsiatiC
side of the straits which had been bonn
harding the allied positions on the
peninsula. and put five guns out Of
commission. These actions are be-
lieyed here to be preliminary to a
much more ambitious attempt which
has been planned by the Anglo.F'rench
commanders TO sweep the Turks be-
fore them.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
GE[\tR AL.

Kansas City. Mo, was selected as
the next meeting place Of the Amer
lean Osteopathic association at the
nual convention at Portland, Ore.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
w EF1lNOTON.

The first report on operations of
he twelve federal reserve banks,
shows that the system earned $91S,-
5SS from November 16, 1914, to June
30, last.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18

State department officials have de-
sided they ore powerless to secure
re'ief from the riding censorship to
which American mail and cable mes
saces passing through the belligerant
countries Of Europe are subjected.
The Lemmon herald. (Lemmon, Perkins County, S.D.) 1912-1917, 1915-08-18
FOR THE BUSY MAN
NEWS EPITOME THAT CAN SOON
BE COMPRISED.
MANY EVENTS ARE MENTIONED
Home and Foreign intelligence Con.
denscd Into Two and Four
Line Paragraphs
WAR NEWS.

Holland, as a result Of the cutting
OFF Of shipments from Great Britain
and Germany, is suffering from coal
famine
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1915-07-15
SYNOPSIS.

In the New York home OF James Brood
Dawes and Riggs, bis two old pensioners
and comrades. await the coming OF
Brood's son Frederic to learn the contents
OF q wireless from Brood. but Frederic.
after reading. throws IL into the nre and
leaves the room without "A word. Frederic
tells Lydia Desmond, his fiancee. that the
message announces his fathers marriage
and orders the house prepared for an i'm
mediate homecoming. Mrs. Desmond. the
cool Fredefic's temper at the impending
wins Frederic's liking at first meeting.
his son. Lydia and Mrs. Brood meet I'm
the jade-room. where LYDIA works as
Brood's Secretary. The room. dominated
by a great gold Buddha. Brood's father
cOnfessor, Is furnished In oriental mag
nificence. Mrs. Brood. after "A talk with
LYDIA. which leaves the latter puzzled. Is
disturbed by the appearance of i;aijaS,
the Hindu servant OF Brood. Mrs. Brood
makes changes In the household and
gains her husbands consent to send Mrs.
and Lydia away. She tries to
fathom the mystery Of Brood's separation
from his first wife. and his dislike OF his
son. but fails. Mrs. Brood fascinates
Frederic. They visit Lydia and her moth
er In their new apartment. Mrs. Brood
begins to fear Ranjab In his uncanny APP
~pearances and disappearances and Fred
eric. remembering his fathers East Indian
stories and firm belief in magic. fears un-
known evil. RanJab performs feats OF
magic for Dawes and Riggs.
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1915-07-15

to be nice and good and reasonable.
James? mean about poor Frederick
His face clouded again. do you
know what o are doing to the boy?"
he asked bluntly.
Quite as we'll as I know what you
are doing to him." she replied quickly.
He stiffened. Cant you see what IL
is coming to-"
Yes. He was on the point of leaving
your house, never to come back to it
again. That's what it is coming to-
she said, lively.
"Why-why, he'd starve!' cried the
man. shaken in spite of himself. HE
has never done a days labor, he
doesn't know how to earn a living.
He"
And who is to blame? You. James,
you! You have tied his hands. and
have penned him up in"
We will not go into that" ks inter-
-rupted coldly.
Very well. l have advised him to
bide his time."
To RE CoNTINUED)
The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1915-07-15

into his ear that caused him to look
at her in utter amazement. 1t was so
astounding hat he could not believe
he heard Alright. He mumbled in a
questioning tone, 81 beg your pardon?'
and she repeated her remark.
How wonderfully like you Frederic
is. Mr.. Brood" Then she added: do
you know, I've never noticed it until
tonight. It's really remarkable"
1T is a most gratifying discovery"
said he, and turned to speak to Mrs.
Desmond. He did not take his gaze
from Frederic's white, set face, how.
ever! and, despite the fact that ne
knew the girl had uttered an idle COM
m%onplace. he was annoyed to find
himself studying the features of Ma
tides boy with ar interest that
seemed almost laughable when he con.
sidered it later on.
His guests found much to talk about
in the room. He was soon being
dragged from one object to another
and ordered to reveal the history, the
uoC II III hdtuiC VI SouiltiCoo LnluHS
that obviously were intended to be
Just what they seemed; such as rugs,
shields. lamps, and so forth. He was
ably assisted by Messrs. Riggs and
Dawes, who lied prodigiously in a
frenzy Of rivalry.
What Q perfectly delightful Bud
dha." cried Miss ,Janey, stopping in
front of the idol. How perfectly
lovely he is-or Is 1t a she, Mr..
Brood?"
Frederic joined Lydia at the table.
"A delicious scene, wasn't it?" he
asked, bitterly. in lowered tones.
Her fingers touched his. What did
he mean, Freddy? Oh, I felt so sorry
for you. 1t was dreadful"
Don't take it so seriously. Lyddy."
he said, squeezing her hand gently.
Both of them realized that II was the
nearest thing to a caress that had
passed between them In a fortnight
or longer. A wave of shame swept
through him. Dear old girl. my dear
old GIRL" he whispered brokenly.
Her eyes radiated Joy, her lips part
ed in a wan. tremulous smile Of sur.
prise. and a soft sigh escaped them.
my dear. dear boy" she murmured,
and was happier than she had been In
weeks.
"See here. old chap" said one of the
middle-aged gentlemen, again consult
ing his watch as he loudly addressed
his host, cant you hurry this per-
Torrance Of yours along a bit? 1t is
after ten. you know"
81 will summon the magician" said
Brood. BE prepared. ladies and gen
tlemen, to meet the devil. Ranjab is
the prince of darkness"
He lifted his hand to strike the
gong that stood near the edge Of the
table.
Involuntarily four pairs of eyes fas-
tened their gaze upon the door to the
ffindrs eiasst,Th-ea mellow softly
reverberating Blooms" filed the room
Almost instantly the voice OF the Hin
dr. was heard.
-Ai-ee. sahihi-