New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-01-31


axes tn ex-prohsser ~ aykinomicks'
""Tis little care about syther, replies IN
Sicthcry. but III voters is soEe thee times DC
cos we have no ships siz he. Freq is high-
er aven than in III Spanish war;, an we shud
rouse tn nor1 sinsc iv tn country ne siz'
'aqin TIL aprishun',' siz he, Nv IN greedy ship
o,vr.r' he sz. 'Av we do that tn ships en-
carry sulphur candies 20 tn divvle tr all l
care siz IN Sicthery.
".Th'd be TO votes in that sz tn great
;davlist. Thin black Republicans doant IN
visit in ships.
$50 much tn betther. siz til imminent fee
nansheer 'fr we shll be wetin tn rapashus
Turner. while raystorn tn glory iv our mar
ch'n't m'reen, an ope'nin moo fayld tr IN
vistrnint iv American money. We oud lave
home capital a rest until it en- sit up IN bed
ANYWAY But twud cost-say thurty or nifty
millyun'
"'Niver moind that, siz tn President, call
!, Tin Av we comet tn pa-ple to tin
prrinciple.' siz he, the dough is daytae that
is I'D TO thin. IT'S me lifelong principle that
he siz. an so, Billy, av twill pull til votes
! shud worry-eh?
It'll pull thin all right siz McAdoo. Be
sobs. twill make Lide Cargo green wild hwy,
McAdoo siz.
FINE SPEECHES WHICH END IN PRES
DENTAL TEARS.
Zine siz Wudthrow. IT'S tn will iv tn
nashun that we relave I'll intholerble oondi-
tons iv Comm'ce, an lift firm our sutterin
farmers tn deadly blight iv crool war an
dollar fifty whate. Oh, Billy siz he, burrstn
into tears sure war is a dhreadful ting he
siz. 'aven' he siz, 'whin it gives ye an Excuse
Fr defshney tax. Tell Joe Tumuty to sum-
mon Sinther Shtone while shtep to me desk
an write tn bill
We'll. Dinny. in about tin mints in brushes
Snther Shtone shweatin' like a warm pipe in
a refrigerator
"'Sure. TIL was no taxi an l run all tn way
whin hurrd yc wanted me- siz tn Sinther.
""Twas I'll Taste ye cud do siz tn Prsidint
sravely. 'Sinther. siz he, I have here bill
which veil tell tn Sinit to pass, f'r it EXPRESSES
siz he. tn will he siz iv til nashun,' siz Wud-
throw, that tn Shtar Shpangled Banner shall
agin float on ivry say.
Yen tell tn byes that It's tn greatest
achavemint v me administrator, siz til
Prisidint, an will be considthered fist iv pol
ly-tickle orth-docksey,' he siz
Whats polly-tckle orth-docksey" asked
Qunlan.
Il dinaw, but til Sinther that has it gets tn
orfces," replied Finnegan. so Shtone goes
back to tn Sinit an tells tn byes what Wud-
throw siz Furrst they thought he was shtring-
in thin, but whin he pulled III bill on thin, tn
was a pro-ssshun iv taxis started FIR tn other
ind iv tn Av'nyoo filled wild Jefferson dimmy-
Gratis.
TWILIGHT SLEEP FOR THE BIRTH or
A NEW IDEA.
"'Where did ye git it, fr hivins sake? axes
wan whose frinds was tim-pray provided fr'
ct has been me lifelong convickshun, sz
tn Prsidint, that tn gov-mint shud own tn
ships Sure I'd have no goods put in tn hol-
low part iv amy ship q dinnaw what ye call
iD which was not American firm tn thingum-
bob at tn tip iv tn mast to TIL whaddyyecalIt
that dhrives tn little whale at TIL hinder ind.
I have gev burrth to new idea in statesman
ship. sz Wudthrow, shwellin' wild pride.
eye shud iv TUX tn Twilight Shape fr
that is not afraid to change his mind, siz
saw TO tn vothers whin we've been praychin'
fr years agin tn robber tart an subs'die
Tell thin tn thrue statesman IS tn man
that is not afraid to change his moind,' siz
Wudthrow, am It's tn will iv tn nashun,' siz
he.
Sure that was a shlick turn" said Quinlan
1T was that" said Finnegan, but a thrue
idayst en- turn so quick that his back hair
gets in his eyes 1t comes wild practish.
so, Dinny, tn Jifferson dimmycrats goes
back to tn Sinit wing faylin' like a sufridse
parade at tn bombyardment of Pre-chemesall
an singin' Make me a child agin jist fr to-
night
"As Wudthrow was sittin' at his desk wild his
mind on tn surrvis iv mankyind an his eye
on the main chance in comes Sinther Lodge.
THE DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY is A
JUDGE OF "ISMS." HE SAYS so.
"'Misther Pris'dint' siz Hinnery, is it thruc
that tn administration IS thrine to push tn
country into tn stamcship bus'nis? axes
Lodge.
ITS tn nashnul will, Sinther' replies III
Pris 'dnt, an thrust to tn patriotism iv your
side iv tn Sinit' he siz, to ntcrpoose,' siz he.
no mur -thrishus ob-stay -culs,' siz Wilson, TO
this great farward-rachin' shtep iv civ-liza
shun, siz tn Pris'dint.
"'Why, Misther Pris 'dint' siz Hinnery this
is nsyther Republican nor Dimmycrat. It's
soshulism itself sz tn Sinther