davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

we've been hitting it up, as Mrs.
Smith, next door, says. We've had the
painters in and the plumbers, and the
plasterers. and the-the chairs have
been up-up-"
Upholstered" said Uncle Eli
And I only wish my papa could
come home and see US now" said
Dorothy.
You don't remember your papa"
questioned the sick man.
mo, Uncle Eli. But mother does.
And when you get we'll she's going
to invite you % come and see us, and
perhaps get you a job as our garden
err"
That will be fine" laughed Eli.
We'll, what story shall I tell you to-
day."
You promised to tell US about
Ulisha," said Ned.
Not Ulisha-Ulysses my boy Well,
sit down and III see how much of it
I can remember. Ulysses was one of
the Greeks, you know. He was a very
strong man, and he had a beautiful
wife named Penelope, whom he left
to go to the wars. He was away ten
years, because that war lasted ten
years"
His wife must have missed him"
said Dorothy.
why, I'm not sure whether she did
or not, said Eli, because, you see,
although the story doesn't admit it,
I'm afraid Ulysses was something of
a waster. AS far as I can make out,
he never did very much honest work.
He lived in a rather doubtful sort of
way. He was a pirate"
When I grow up I'm going to be a
pirate" said Ned NO, 1 won't
though. I'm going to chase pirates"
Much better. Ned. Well, then, this
Ulysses went off to the wars and left
Penelope behind him. When the wars
were over he came back. and that's
where his real troubles began. Ac-
cording to his story he got caught in
a bad wind. and his ship drifted
around for ten years more before he
got home. But that's only his tale,
and lots of married men tell much
the same sort of yarn to their wives,
only they can't lay it on as thick
nowadays. Anyway, even Ulysses ad-
mitted that there were some ladies
concerned in his troubles, and he laid
them particularly to Miss Gree. But
that won't interest you.
Well, just about twenty years aft
e- Ulysses started for the wars he
came home. You can guess he need
ed shave and brush-up good deal,
and nobody recognized him except
his old dog. And what do you suppose
was worrying him, Dorothy?"
Il guess he wondered what there
was for dinner" said the little girl.
Eli nodded. NO doubt" he an
swered. But that didn't prey upon
his mind so much as the knowledge
that he hadn't acted quite as a mar
ried man should. He was scared lest
his wife had thought him dead and
got married again
Mrs. Smiths husband left her. and
she didn't get married again" said
Dorothy. She wanted to. though"
so back Ulysses cama in the guise
of beggar and nobody knew him.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
REMEDY FOR MOIST PALMS
Salt Water an Excellent Astringent,
as Is Solution of Vinegar or
Lemon Juice

If you are bothered by moisture of
the palms, battle frequently either in
salt water, which acts as a stimulant
or tonic, or in a solution of vinegar or
lemon juice, which acts as an astrin-
gent. Or rub with mixture OF pow
dered alum and fannie acid. both OF
which have astringent properties.
Care should be taken not to use
acid or astTingent cosmetics oftener
than is necessary, as they tend to
overwork the pores of the skin and
to produce injurious after effects.
If your hands are over-red and burn
a good deal you may be sure the cause
is defective circulation. The only
sure remedy is TO give strict atten-
ton to the general health. and as
preventive the hands should be pro-
tected from exposure OF course. this
is necessary only in the winter time.
for with warm weather there IS no
need to take special precautions IN
this direction.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Groundless Fear.

Secretly in love with a handsome
baseball player, Mazda had never seen
him play and knew nothing about the
game.
One evening when Jim called he
found her red-eyed and distract.
Jim" she asked, after while,
what did the sport reporter mean by
saying that you stole one in the
ninth'?"
He explained.
OH" she exclaimed, blushing furi-
ously, but evidently much relieved. 81
thought
Then Jim stole several of the kind
she had in mind.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Worth KnoWinu-

The Russian peasant cap of pink or
velvet is high turban, certain to be
becoming to round face Black tat.
feta or faille, as sailor, has a black
ostrich band, and a pump bow at the
back. A close black satin toque has
tricorn points. A fesh-coIored crown
Of taffeta, a brim of velvet, and a frill
OF black malines. Daggers of jet will
be worn. Fancy ornaments of beads
are smart. Buckles of colored pyroxy-
lin are o. K. A cannon wheel orna-
ment is seen, also aeroplane and small
bouquets of velvet flowers to fit into
the tricorn corners.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

and there was whole gang of men
after Penelope. But Penelope was
true to Ulysses. and she kept putting
them off, and"
There's mammal" shouted the 1T
tie girl. 81 told you I was going to
bring her to see you, Uncle Eli
She sprang to her feet. and. with
the little boy. raced across the green
toward sweet-lcoking lady who was
strolling quietly in their direction IN
der the shade of the hospital trees.
Eli Baynes sat rigid in his chair.
Then he looked wildly about him. He
had begged the superintendent TO get
him a prOpelling chair, so that G
could move from place to place. but
as yet his desire had not been com
piled with Now he felt a5mad i'm
pulse to fee.
He sat up and gingerly put one foot
to the ground. He must escaDe at all
hazard. To his surprise he found that
certain measure Of fexfbilitv had re-
turned to his limbs: perhaps it was
the will at work on the body He put
out his other leg, and for the first
time in months Eli Baynes stood erect.
without support, and Strengthened his
twisted limbs and muscles.
Absorbed in this effort. he had not
seen how quickly the three were ap-
preaching him again. AS he was about
to attempt the walk to the hospital
he found himself confronted by the
mother Of the two children.
One glance into his face. a little
gasp Of fear, and Lucy Baynes was
weeping on her husbands neck, her
arms about him.
Eli" she sobbed "Oh. my dear,
why didn't you come home to me after
all these years."
You told me never to come back
until l had made a man of myself,
Lucy" said Eli doggedly. q tried
l tried my hardest for ten years.
made little fortune in the mines. l
sent you everything I had"
You, Eli? That legacy was really
your money!"
He nodded. and I did mean to ask
you if you would take me back again.
But I couldn't bear the thought of
coming back to you a cripple So I
went to the hospital here And I
thought that if-if you had met some
body whom you cared for more, l had
no right to stand in your way. I tried
to find out, Lucy"
There couldn't be-" she sobbed.
Il didn't know they were my chill
dren at first Then l came to look
for Children's day, when l could see
them. And when got well I meant
to go quietly away, if you cared for
somebody else"
"Oh, my dear, 1 have loved you al
ways" she answered.
1t was happy party that gathered
at the new house that night, and Ned
and Dorothy, still open-eyed in won
der, had hardly realized that Uncle
Eli was to be their father.
Tell us some more about Ulysses.
Uncle Eli" persisted Ned, climbing
upon his knee.
why" said Eli in embarrassment,
it ended happily-very happily.
Only I guess there was a lot more in
Ulysses life than ever got into his
story"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
The Reason.

This dog of ours" said Mr.. Jones
to the Sabbath dinner guest, lis a
most peculiar animal; he runs away
very often and stays for days-but
he always comes home on Sunday"
Why is that? Why does he choose
Sunday to return ?" asked the guest
Il really don't know" smiled Mrs
Jones, tenderly stroking the dog e
sleek brown head. Some strange
canine intuition, | suppose"
Canine nuthin," shifted little
Johnny Jones. Il 'spect he knows thai
Sundays the on'y day we have q de.
cent meal. Judge
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Service Is a Hard One

Most naval air mechanics are ac-
complished swimmers, and possess a
constitution of iron. When the navy's
great seaplanes are launched the me-
chanics generally have to wade up to
their necks into the water to
maneuyer the machine from the shore.
To plunge into icy-cold water in the
half light of dawn is not pleasant
task, yet it is one which the sailor
mechanics have to carry out almost
daily. In rough seas the waves break
over their heads, and the seaplane
they are maneuvering is tossed about
like a cork. Yet in true naval spirit
the mechanics of the naval air serV-
ice carry out their hazardous duties
cheerfully.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Cover the Pillows

Cover pillows with good, strong cot
ton cloth. Make same as the slips.
only have them fit closer and little
longer than pillow, with two buttons
and buttonholes in hem to button
them over. They not only save the
ticking, but cases that have become
thin can be used much longer and
covers can be slipped off and washed
often, which is essential where the
pillows are usually taken between the
teeth while changing cases.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Born Diplomat.

Harry, I am beginning to believe
the baby looks like you"
Are you, dear?"
yes. | notice it more and more
every day. I'm so glad"
DO you really want him to look
like me?"
"Of course l do. I've been sorry
ever since we had him christened that
we didn't give him your name"
Sweetheart, you don't know how
happy you make me by saying that"
And, Harry, dear, found the love
lest hat today. | don't believe | ever
saw anything that was so becoming to
me. It's SIS. Do you think ought
to pay that much for a hat?"-Chicago
Record.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
eW Materials

The new winter materials for cos
tunes and wrap coats are beautifully
soft and warm. Serge mouflonne"
and serge Moscovite" may be count
ed among the most popular novelties
OF the hour, and for long wrap coats
the Partisan tailors are using quaint
ties OF English blanket cloth.
A lovely winter coat and skirt is
made entirely Of soft, thick. dark blue
serge which closely resembles blanket
cloth, but which is not quite so thick.
The skirt is cloche in form, rather
short. but not especially wide. 1t does
not measure more than two yards and
a quarter round the hem.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
If You Need a Medicine
You Should Have the Best

Although there are hundreds of Srepa-
rations advertised, there is only one that
really stands out pre-eminent as rem
edy for diseases of the kidneys, liver and
bladder
Dr. Kilmer's SYamp-Root is not recon-
mended for everything.
A sworn certificate Of purity is with ev-
cry bottle. You may receive a sample
size bottle of Swamp-Root by Parcel
Post. Address DR.. Kilner & Co., Bing-
hamton n. Y. and enclose ten cents
For sale at all drug stores in bottles of
two sizes-S0c and s1e0, also mention this
paper.-Adv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

correct sagging of the muscles. A
cloth wet in very hot water should
then be applied, followed by several
applications of cold water. You will
be surprised to find yourself rejuve-
mated
"A most important factor in the pro-
longation of youth is to avoid obesity.
1t is easier to keep thin than to get
thin, and exercise and dieting are
both necessary. Avoid sweets, and an
excess of starchy foods, especially pc
tatoes and bread. Beer and other al
coholic beverages predispose fat"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

Compound to me and l tried it at once
and found much relief. After that I
had no pains at all and could do nv
homework and shopping the same
as always. For years l have praised
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound for what it has done for me.
and shall always recommend it as a wo-
mans friend. You are at liberty to use
my letter in any way. Mrs. THOMSON,
649 ". Russell St, Philadelphia, Pa.
Change of Life is one of the most
critical periods of woman's existence,
Women everywhere should remember
that there is no other remedy known to
carry women so successfully through
this trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound.
If you want special advice
write to Lydia e. Pinkham Med
icine Co. (cOnfidentiaD, Lynn.
Mass. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by woman
and held in strict confidence.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Pale Pink for Pretty peon,a

During the last year OF so. faint
tinge of pink has been spreading it
self over the field of feminine dress.
1t began, really, last summer, when the
pale pink lingerie was first intro
duced; but since then the popular
ity of this becoming shade has grown
until there is scarcely an article of
woman's wearing apparel that doesn't
show its influence
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
For Frayed RuffIe.

When the dust rutae Of a petticoat
gets frayed and worn badly, cut even
ly around and bind with tape; stitch
neatly; will last for years.
For persons who stand a great deal
and are troubled with tender and
aching feet, buy white cotton hose
and wear. These are much better
than black for anyone in warm
weather, as the dye from the black
one works out as the feet perspire,
making them injurious.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
peveloned Powers late.

William de Morgan is the most not
able example Of a writer who post
poned the creation of literary master
pieces until in advanced life. He had
never published anything until his
Joseph Vance" surprised the reading
world when he was sixty-five, and he
has followed it with half a dozen other
long and most interesting novels.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Different From the Rest.

I've got to do something to attract
attention" said the eminent theatre
cal star.
That's right" replied the press
agent. You've got to seem different
and surprise the public some way.
I'll tell you what well do. Well send
out story to the effect that you are
not considering fabulous offer to
appear in the movies"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
THICK LOVELY HAIR
Because Free From Dandruff, Itching,
irritation and Dryness.

May be brought about by shampoos
with Cuticura Soap preceded by
touches of Cuticura Ointment to spots
Of dandruff, itching and irritation. A
clean, healthy scalp means good hair.
Try these supercreamy emollients if
you have any hair or scalp trouble.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. KY,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Culinary Mechanics

What air them kitchenettes hear
tell of in the cities?" asked Deacon
Hyperbole Medders, the somewhat
honest agriculturist.
They're the places, Uncle Hy,'' ex-
planned Epson Downs, his city nephew,
in which are nodded or cast or some
how produced fat dweller's daily
round of mealettes Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
All Want to Wear Gowns.

The craze for legal gowns. says
Calcutta newspaper, has now spread
TO the mukhtears OF Bengal a few
years ago vakils obtained permission
TO wear gowns Black gowns were
suggested by vakils but as these would
have led to their being mistaken for
members of the bar, blue gowns were
given them. Recently the pleaders
asked that the privilege Of wearing
gowns should be extended to them ana
the necessary sanction was granted.
green being the color selected. Not to
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

"Good-by. dear" said hubby as he
started on a business trip. I'll write
to you every day while I'm gone"
You'd better" replied his wife. 81
found those letters you had written in
advance and burned them up, so youH
have to do it all over again"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

be outdone the mukhtears are now
moving in the matter and the initia-
tive has been taken by those practic-
ing in the Jalpaiguri courts who have
pedtioned the registrar on the appel
late side of the Calcutta high court to
be allowed to wear gowns The co.or
suggested is chocolate. The matter
is under consideration by the chief
justice.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Sound Travels Far.

The steam siren, under 72-pound
pressure, has been heard for 40 niles
in tests in the navy. The next most
powerful noisemaker is the steam
whistle, "udible 20 miles, while the or
binary buoy has made itself heard Is
miles
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Very Simple,

Those twin boys of yours are SO
much alike that | don't see how you
can tell them apart"
That's easy enough. When they're
on their good behavior they answer
to their own names, and when they've
been in mischief each one anwsers to
the name Of the other"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Cause for SUSPICION.

Somebody has discovered the ham
omelet is a fine restorer when taken
at breakfast the morning after a night
out. But isn't this calculated to bring
the ham omelet under suspicion in
well-regulated families. = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Force OF Habit.

It is hard to overcome force of
habit
An automobile driver signaled a
man riding a bicycle along a country
road to stop, the driver intending to
make some inquiries as to the road.
Instead of starting to dismount, the
man on the bicycle shouted "Whoa!"
and then, looking rather sheepish,
said
Well. I'll be doggoned. l thought
l was riding a horse"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

Aereu Tor SIX years
terribly. I tried sew
eral doctors but none
seemed to give me
any relief. Every
monththe painswere
intensein both sides,
and m ad e m e so
weak that l had to
go to bed. At last
a friend recommen-
ded Lydia E. Pink
hams Vapatahla
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
ACCORDING TO His Worth

Politician-The pay Of the average
ofhceholder is very small
Taxpayer-Yes; but it average w
all right. Look at the small amount
Of work the average off1ceholder does.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Aumnrnus Object

Perhaps the funniest thing in the
world is the Indignant Subscriber who
says to a reporter: Hereafter you
will never again use my name in
print. Globe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
CATCHING the Vote,

First Politicianess-Wha shall we
do to catch the male vote?
Second Politicianess-I know-put a
popular burlesque actress on our tick
et
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Expensive Advice.

Patient-What would you advise,
doctor?
Doctor-That you have me call
again.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Both StronG,

"Jaggs said the story I told him the
other day made him hold his breath ;"
Gee whizz, but if he succeeded in
holding his breath. it must have been
a tusslei"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Rendition Desired

He-Dearest, this kiss tells you all
have to say. Have you understood
me?
She-Oh, please say it again.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

It's mighty hard to keep level
headed if you're not always on the
square.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
1t was a simple, but highly original

tOque.
The pretty Spanish queen has been
dressing very quietly this season. AS
a rule, in the summer, she wears the
most elaborate white costumes, &C.
companied by picture hats lavishly
trimmed with pastel tinted feathers.
but this year she has worn either all
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

When woman is away from home
two weeks her husband is apt to use
all the napkins in the house for wash
rags.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

The man who is afraid of work de-
serves to be scared to death.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
When all others fail to please
Try Denison's Coffee.

Marriage is the process by which a
woman tries to get job as boss.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

A woman and her maid acting in &C
cord can outwit half a dozen men.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
MRS. THOMSON
Tells WOMEN
How She Was Helped During
Change of Life by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.

Philadelphia, Pal am just 52years
of age and during Change of Life / suf-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Nature Falls into Line.

Nature Falls Into Line.
Even the elements appear to be
adapting themselves to the exigencies
of war"
How now?
only yesterday I was reading of a
khaki-cOlOTed cloud"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

Fur Edging Seems to Be the Decree in
Almost All of the New Creations
From Paris. This Attractive Model
by Lucienne MaIby Is Dark Gray
Corduroy Coat With Raccoon Co.
lar and Cuffs. A Loose Belt With
Large Steel Buckle and Patch Pock-
cts Complete This Simple Coat. Fur
Buttons Are Used.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

white or black and white. at any cere-
monious functions which she attended
at San Sebastian.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28

The only man I know who is not
fairly well satisfied with this country
is Ike Gilberg, who was born in Rus
Sia
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
When all others fail to please
Try Denison's Coffee.

stitch in time may save a hole in
the hosiery.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-10-28
Optimistic Thought.

Not even the gods can fight against
necessity.