davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Napi.s. on. Mord pi.natnh.

Very few commanders have revealed
any sense Of humor In their campaign
ing exploits, and It was reserved for
the witty Sir Charles Napier to BE-
come pre-eminent IN this rare accom-
plishment bis crowning achievement
In the realms Of humor was coincident
with his most brilliant feat Of armA
he was deputed to essay the con-
quest Of Scinde. and, after 4 series Of
nne exploits In the face Of innumerabie
difficulties, he accomplished his mis-
sion But the authorities at home wait
ed anxiously for his dispatch annOunc-
ing this momentous event The days
passed. and 1t added to the tension. At
last the long expected missive arrived
and IT contained one word. ''Peccavir
A man who knew Latin was sought
and he translated It. II have sinned
tScinde) T-London Man.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

A charming story Is told Of Tissot
the great French painter. While IN
England on one occasion he painted q
beautiful religious picture and, meet
ing a woman from Paris, asked her
opinion Of his work. Characterizing Il
a. q work OF real art, she gave a re-
markedly Just and detailed apprecia-
tion OF the various merits OF the paint
inG.
sAre you satisnedY" asked a friend
The artist answered In the negative
He entirely reprinted his picture.
working night and day. When II was
finished he sent for his fair critic, who
pronounced It admirable. and then she
remained silently admiring It with
smiling criticism.
"Are you satisfedr once more asked
the friend "No," replied Tissot as he
began work on the picture for the third
time. When the lady saw the new
painting she gased at It for some mo-
ments with evident emotion and then,
without a word, sank softly to her
knees and began to pray.
"Are you satisfied nowT whispered
the friend Yes" answered Tissot.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Whv You Wink.

The unconscious act OF winking
bears q quite important relation 10 the
welfare Of the ere. This being the
most delicate and sensitive organ OF
the body exposed 70 the ar, It n In
constant need Of the protection given
by the sysIids, which not only close
quickly at the approach Of danger, but
are employed IN washing the surfacs
Of the eye. Moistening IL required b
Offset the drying effect Of the air and
cleaning 70 prevent the injurious elect
Of dirt Every time you wink the eye
u washed Inside the eye 10 the little
tar gland, which, as its name implies,
d buy storing up the supply Of tears
This gland keeps the inside Of the Id
moist. and you wink automatically
whensVsR the surface OF the eye BE-
comes dry or particle Of dust or any
thing else strikes It This work IL
done a. often as necessary, and 10
rsalizs how often It Is necessary ty
how long you can keep your eyes open
without winktng.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Homsmads Raromstsr.

To make a cheap but effective ba-
rometer take eight grams OF pulver'
lied camphor. four grams Of pulver-
lied nitrate Of potassium. two grams
Of pulveriZed nitrate OF ammonia, and
dissolve them, all In sixty grams OF
alcohol. Pour the whole lotion In a
long and slender bottle, the top OF
which should be closed with a piece OF
pigs bladder which your family
butcher VIII give you gratis-eontain-
ing a pin hole to admit air. When
rain IS about to visit you the solid par
ticles Of your liquid barometer VII
tend gradually to mount, little star
crystals forming In the liquid, which
otherwise would remain clear. Should
high winds be approaching your baron
eter win become thick, as II ferment-
ing, In addition to which q solid 6lm
Of particles win form on the surface.
Fair weather Is Indicated by the liquid
remaining clear. with the solid parti-
cles settling into a firm sediment
London Answers
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
EvanosIIGt Who Was an Actor.

George whiteheld qualified as a boy
for greatness In more than one direc-
tiOn- The future evangelist enjoyed
play acting ana performed In girls
clothes before the mayor and CORPORA
ton Of Gloucester, while By the time
be was fifteen be had become an ex-
port ale drawer IN the family public
house These pursuits, alien to the
pulpit appear. however, to have been
converted into aids 10 evangelism The
youthful love OF the stage, says the
London Chronicle, no doubt helped 70
dsvelQp the tremendous histrionic gift
which made Lord Chesterfield on hear
ING Whfteheld describe a blind beg
gzr's ian over precipice spring from
bis seat and exclaim. Good heavens.
he's RunegT
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
OCEAN TsnD.r..ur..

The steamer AIbatross, which II used
By oceanographers, makes records Of
deep sea temperatures. These tenn
perature observations prove that the
ocean has a far more limited range Of
heat and cold than the land, its maxi
mum surface temperature being about
50 degrees r., and its minimum about
% degrees +. in the most frigid
depths, the 'eold puddles" between
Greenland and Norway. The average
ocean temperature at a depth Of six OF
seven hundred fathoms Il 80 degrees
,. One OF the mysteries Of the sea
= q regular nightly temperature rise
Of half a degree at a depth OF 100
fEthomA This unaecountable tempera-
turs variation has been observed by
the Albatross over and over again
American Magazine
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
pnarr stufI.s aald eIaalnu.

@. B. BurEin In the Bookman contrib
Gtes q personal recollection Of George
Giastng, whom he met many years ago
at q garden party in St Johns Wood
he was curiOusly and should think
unconDeiOuEly picturesque" writes Mr..
Bargfn. his loose, easy clothes and
aloueh hat seeming q part Of his own
Dennnalfy more than q studied pose,
and boxing rather at variance with the
smart 1getup' Of the London crowd
which filed the little garden" During
conversation Gissing alluded 10 the
fAct that many authors wrote with
eass and facility, hut" he added, Il
grind # out with infinite pain aad IA
bG." When Mr.. Burgin limited that
most az his material was saddentng,
sYeZ" be said thoughtfuIly, SITS
dreary stun-dreary stufF
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Altman Life Net.


There q some soul OF goodness IN
things eyfl would men observingly dis
TN 1t out" How much evn marked
the daily lives Of the actors In the fol
lowing episode IL a matter OF conjec-
ture. but they were. says q New YORK
newspaper, denizens OF what h called
the underworld"
A lodging house IN one OF the crowd
ed tenement districts In New York
caught IRE. The lives Of the inmates
were endangered, and seven Of them,
al women. were cut on by the flames.
They rushed to the windows and
shrieked for help.
Then, 20 quote the newspaper &C
count, "a crowd Of Park row human
1otsam and jetsam and boys Of the
neighborhood punched themselves to
gsther to break the force OF the wo-
mems fall and called to them 70 jump
The jump was more than thirty feet
but all the women made It safely.
~only one Of them needed attention.
but some Of the men walked away
with heads cut by flying heels and
backs strained by the shock Of the
falling bodies When the reporter
spoke 10 them most OF those who made
up this human life net said grufny that
they had no names. When they were
asked where they lived they would
only say, oh. round here"
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Ambition.

Contented, unambitiOus people are an
very well In their way. They form q
neat, useful background for great por-
traits to be painted against, and they
make q respectable II not particularly
intelligent audience for the active spir-
tts OF the age to play before. But do
not, for goodness sake, let them 90
stalking about, as they are 50 fond OF
doing. crying out that they are the true
models for the whole species. Why,
they are deadheads, the drones, the
street crowds that lounge about gaping
at those who are working.
They never know the excitement OF
expectation nor the stern delight Of &C
compIshed effort, such as stir the pulse
OF the man who has objects, hopes and
plans. To the ambitious man Life Is a
brilliant game-a game that calls forth
ell his tact and energy and nerve; q
game to be won In the long run by the
quick eye and the steady hand and Jet
having sufficient chance about its
working out to give It all the glorious
Eest OF uncertainty.
And II he be defeated he wins the
grim Joy Of fighting; II he loses the
race be at least had a run Better to
work and fail than to sleep ones life
away.-Jerome K Jerome
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

The names OF musical compositions
do not always convey the impression
that Is intended by their composers, as
one listener discovered recently at q
San Francisco concert. One woman
was much interested In the music and
sat as close to the orchestra as posi-
BILE, attentively listening to every note
A popular air had Just been played It
was a catchy, meIodious bit Of music
and was received with warm applause
Immediately following II on the pro-
gam was DvOrak's ''Humoresque," and
the attentive listener drew back In dis
gust Just think" she said In tones
loud enough to be heard by those near
by-'just imagine playing something
humorous after that other beautiful
piece. II ought not to be aIlewed"-
Argonaut-
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Toward the end Of the last siege Of
Paris by the Germans in 1s7071, the
custom grew up OF observing an In
formal armistice Of about an hours
duration at SHUTDOWN, when the hun
CRY citizens, or some OF them at all
events, used to come out and purchase
sausages from the Prussians and Ba-
varians in the advanced trenches at
about ten times their normal price.
After awhile, however, the custom
came TO the knowledge Of Won Moltke,
who efbectuaIly and promptly put a
stop to It by shooting some half dozen
or more Of the amateur truce makers.
Parsons Weekly.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
How 70 Live One Hundred Years.

Lo and behold, a physician comes for.
ward with the announcement that II h
as easy as falling on log TO live 10 be
q hundred years old. BE says all you
have TO do IL to avoid alcoholic or malt
liquors, don't smoke, 60 to bed at 10
D. N. and get up at a m, sleep sound
~, don't worry about making money
1--WE don't-we worry about not making
it). do nothing to excess don't marry to
excess. Of course-Mark Twain said
that. the simple life all the time, don't
get excited tive don't over anything ex-
cept elections or prizehghts). eat only
when you feel inclined Tor have the
price-this has no reference 10 news
paper men. who never eat a regular
neal. With the exception Of the pa
rentheses this is really serious advice,
and you would do well to heed It II you
wish to make the century mark In HES
little Marathon However, as for rs,
we wouldn't swap one hour Of a golden,
glittering time on pay day In joyous
Jacksonville for a whole century Of
such a simple and uneventful existence
anywhere else--Phl a Armstrong IN
Florida Times Union.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
PAGE Two


The Russian empire Is as compact e.
the British empire Is scattered Il a
one great mass with no parts, except
possibly few islands along the coast
ssparated from the main body. There
are no distant possessions, no oveDea
tsrrItary, and the car claims no domin-
i0n over any land not IN the northern
hemisphere.
Ia area e what astonlshes. II IL
larger than all OF North America from
TIE canal north and with the islands
Of the Caribbean thrown In. 0ne-stxth
Of the land area Of the globe 10 under
the cars Gag and within tn boun-
aries b q population greater than that
Of Great Britain, Germany and France
combined And this population Of be
tween 100O00.O00 and 170,00o.0o0 -
increasing at the rate Of 100000 q
year by birth. The population Of the
empire has doubled IN forty years-
OF the many strange things about
Russia perhaps the gtrangest Is that
tbs immense empire has no salt water
port which does not freeze up IN the
winter. No big nation IN the world
a 90 circumscribed IN this respect
Brooklyn Standard Union.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Thn Hahnaa cornun.

The substance Of habeas corpus was
given In the famous Magma Charta Of
1215, but as today understood the
habeas corpus refers to the act Of 1873.
This act provides that any man taken
to prison can insist on being brought
by his accuser before q judge, who
shall Immediately decide whether or
not bail is to be given; that the &C
cused shall have the question OF his
guilt decided by jury OF twelve men
and not by a government agent; that
no one can be tried twice on the same
charge; that every one may insist on
being examined within twenty days
Of his arrest and tried by jury the
nett session; that no defendant may
be sent out Of the county for impris-
Onment-New York American
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
A Smart Answer.

The following episode took place in q
country village in the north Of Eng
land: One morning as a sehoOlmaster
was proclaiming to his school he saw q
penny. He picked 1t up, he placed the
penny IN his pocket, and after the chill
dren had assembled In the school the
schoolmaster said:
SHas any child lost any money!
Aftsr q few moments q small boy in
the front Of the class put Up his hand
well, Robert. what DO you vantr
asked the master.
Please SIR. have lost q penny" -
piled the boy.
and where did you lose your penny,
RobGtr inquired the master.
Please, sir, where you found It"
Robert got the penny amid the laugh
ter Of the master and the whole clasA
Philadelphia Record
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Land Of tha Dana

Denmark has almost abolished pau
perism and nliteracy among her people.
Only one IN a thousand Of her adult
population Is unable to read and write.
The number Of those dependent on
charity Is extremely small and IL less
ening each year IN spite OF a barren
son and a villainous climate. The
whole land Is prosperous, and its pro
ductiVeness L. Increasing year by year.
The community health Il improving.
crime is exceedingly rare. and refine
ments Of life as wen as its necessaries
are growing more abundant and are
distributed In wider and wider circles.
Chicago Journal.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
8. LIad Eound BAD, speelaItr.

A London contemporary tells the fol-
lowing anecdote: A member Of the bar
not richly endowed with intellect after
years Of briehessness married a rich
widow. She died Again he sought q
bride with large dover and again
became q widower. Then he thought
he would return 10 his long neglected
profession He approached an old
friend who had meanwhile become a
judge OF the supreme court and asked
what IN his opinion, would be the
wisest course for him 10 pursue. stick
to the probate and Matrimonial" said
the judge.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Whx Tsath chattar.

Although the muscles which affect
ne action Of the Jaws are especially
under the control Of the brain. the
ehattsring Of The teeth Il really q
spasm caused By chill or fear, and al
spasms act independent Of the WI
The muscles which operate the Jaw act
IN a series OF Involuntary little con
fractions which pull the Jaw up and
permit Il TO ian Of its own weight
This action - quick, and the ehattsEing
occurs nom frequent repetition. ne
eoid has a similar eject upon the Jaw
muscles 70 that which some polsons
have in causing spasmodic action IN
cher paris Of TIE BODY.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
VIA. X. Had Better Do.

Macpherson In talking 10 his minister
told the reverend gentleman that be
was going to take trip to the holy
land.
And whites I'm there" be said en-
Enthusiastically. I'm read the Ten Com
mandments alood frae the top Of Mount
Sinai"
@Nae. Macpherson" said the minister
grayely, '-tak' my advice Dinna read
them alood Bide at hame and keep
them
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Vsrsss and Miles.

Many people know that to multiply
any number Of French kilometers by
five and divide the product by eight
Is to get an exceedingly close approx
imatiOn to the number Of miles in the
same distance, but It Is even easier
mentally to convert versts TO miles.
as one OF the former Is equal TO 0.6S3
Of the latter. or almost exactly two
thirdA
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Hs Va. Unanimously Elscs,d.

When the term Of the old neEp
preacher had expired he arose and said:
~Breddren, de time am heah 70 De
detection OBJ 20 pastOh for anuddg
yeah. All dose faborin' me 70 20 pas
toh VIII please say Aye"
The old preacher had made himself
rather unpopular, and there was no re
Spouse.
Hal" he said. Silence gibs consent
aIIuA Pse 20 pastOh 70 anuddE
yeah."-Exchange.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Old Divorce curs.

In old Holland when couple a.
Piled for a divorce they were locked
I'D In a one room, trying out eaon
with one dish and one spoon. II artsi
q month they had not come % a
agreement they got the wit, Whia
was seldom asked for after this treat
ment
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Me- p-...I..I

DID you attain the high ideals you
setfor yourself when you were youngT'
asked the friend OF his boyhood.
NO. replied the millionaire, ''and
I'm glad didn't I see now there was
no money IN thsm-S-st Louis Post
Dispatch.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Natural Result.

Mamma" said small Elmer 1iers
20 In the back yard and play fOOtoaA
81 can't play the game, dear IN
swered the mother.
"Huhg exclaimed Elmer scornIuu!
THAT Is what comes Of having w
man for a mother. Chicago News
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Mamma, do you think Il IL true. a.
papa says. that teachers do not have
10 work as hard now - they did when
he went to schoolT"
Il expect It e."
what DO you suppose the reason isf"
The teachers OF today don't have TO
tsach your father."-Bufalo News.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
en..Linn For Herself.

Widow-Mr. 0ldbOy, my oAaS -
Maud has set her eyes on you L
lovingly. Mr.. Oldboy-Has she -. =,
I always considered her q ST sid
Widow-Yes, only today s1s .s1.H
athat's the sort of a gentleman -
IKE for my papa."-ChicagO new"
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Aft.r oood RarnaIn.

'This suit vim cost you 500 per
day
DO Jon and people willing to pay
such pricesT
Plenty Of them"
In that case what win you take for
tie h0telr-Judee
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Tr.ss and chimn.y..

The existence Of tall plants and trees
depends largely on the wind force. A
tree with square trunk and branches
would offer 30 much resistance to the
wind that It would be continually hav-
Ing its branches snapped Engineers
build tall chimneys and piers for
bridges round in preference to any 9TH
er form.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

~Ha, hal" said the man who had inst
been elected Il thought you sid you
trusted the wisdom Of the pain peo-
pie"
Il SIN believe IN n replied the de-
feated candidate. The w1Best people
want q joke now and thea.-SG Louis
PostDispatch.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
supsrauous.

Il understand they have a eurfsw
law out there nowT he said
'sEo," his informant answered. They
did have one. but they abandoned #"
what was the matterY'
well. the ben rang at Q O'Clock,
and almost every one complained that
e woke him up."-Chieago News
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Hs-Do Jon know, you are % elsEsr
and charming and Brilliant that rsal-
h feel embarrassed IN yow prBencs.
She But you mustn't; really yOu
mustn't He (reassuE1ngiy1-oh. I dAre
say IN get over It when I know yOa
bettG-LAfs.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
PurzIlnn Am RIaht.

ms q bit puEzling. isn't itr said
one msn to another who was striving
b hold on to his hat and his umbrella
At the same time In a high wind
Yea" said the man accosted IT'S
Ike q wall paper hanger with the
hiYes.S-LAdies' Home Journal
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Overhead CHARGES.

The Boss-Whafs this item on your
expense account, Overhead expenses,
SAT- The Travelling salesman-Th
was an umbrella / bOught-Philadel-
phia Bulletin
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

at b better to have left something
Unsaid than to have talked too much"
observes philosopher, who has ev1-
dsntly been through breach OF prom
iss Euit-Philadelphia Inquiries.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Ona L. Enough.

Before she married him, you Know
she used to say there wasn't anOl0A
man Ike him in the world
Eyes, and now she says she'd na'e "
think that there was"
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Innanarnnk.

The Touehsr-rm going to work next
week, but III need few dollars to 1--we
ON tfl pay day. Can you see me
through The Wise Guy-No, but can
&c through you.-New York GlobA
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

.There seems to be a coolnsas b.
tween them
..Yes. The trouble is they're both To
hot tempered Detroit Free Prsl-
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Had an Aim All Right

CoIe-I Ike to see a woman WIN =
aim In life. Now, has your VIE ~
aim1 Wood-Rather! LOOK Wnele -
hit me with a plateEChicago News
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
eubeenaeloua cerahration.

The bridegroom appeared cool and
eoFlected-
''Yes. he didn't seem to realize that
hs was losing control Of himself.s-
Philadelphia Ledger.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
psr,tIa Foo.

A remarkable fog on the T0.
coast s known as the "garua. ! m
ours IN a region where az .,cIaturs
known and supplies sufficient
to support vegetation
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Longevity. after al, Is largely q
matter Of Diet
'Tndeedl I had the impression Il
was largely a matter Of tims.s-st
Louis Times
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

ghe : Would yo1 leave your home
FIX mel Held leave a baseball game
A TIE ninth inning with ths score q
tia-Phsladelpnia Ledger.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

"Jiggs' wife speaks ten Language
II move we adopt resolutions OF - y,
patty and send them to jugs -OU
falo Express.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Il hate that girl"
Yet you lend her your cIothes.s
syes, and she has fhs bad tasts 10
look better IN them than do.s-Knn-
60 citz Journal.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
Evidently.

.There are some very ugiy
IN this case"
what caseT p.Hmcs
This photographers
American.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Il d our duty 10 do our best to brisht-
en- the lives Of the people who i've with
IA 81 ara danandank an M
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Pnnsncs Mature has prOvidsd M
hsr lavishly.
Pafrice-hoW sol
-she has two china : YonkGs
Statesman.
The broad ax., 1915-03-27
ks.uIna Il Cool.

Il hear that old snagSOy isl'
million dollars behind" :. .odF-
How else could be keep "
London Standard
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Loneliness Is an all perVaoAnS
BcIousness Of self
The broad ax., 1915-03-27

Fsre d not sxtinguisnsd y
TfaIlan Prnvarb
Newark evening star and Newark advertiser., 1915-11-19
SOL" TEITLEDAUM'S
WOES FAR FROM END
Man Expelled for Causing
0uarrels In Hebrew 'SchuIe'
Faces Forgery Charge.

The troubles OF Solomon Teitel-
baum. OF 144 Charlton street. and
Abraham Goldstein. of 164 Prince
street, will be aired before Judge
Wolf in the Fourth Precinct Police
Court on November 26. Teitelbaum,
it Is said, will be charged with
forgery.
In 1912, Goldstein, who is president
of the synagogue at 157 Prince street,
known as the Congregation Anshi
5ward Hasedek, had Teitelbaum ex-
PEELED from the schule for causing
ouarrels among the various members.
Teitelbaum, it is said, left threatening
vengeance, and according to Gold
stein, forged a check dated June 1S,
1914, on the West Side Trust Com
pany, in Springfield avenue. with
Goldstein's signature. The cashier
at the bank refused to honor the
check and Teitelbaum threatened to
sue Goldstein. The two men went to
Rabbi Solomon Haiperin and stated
their cases.
Both men were satisfied to abide by
the rabbits decision, according to
Goldstein, and placed SIS each in the
rabbits hands. the man who lost the
decision to pay the rabbi the $25 for
! his trouble, while the winner of the
argument retained his own money.
Goldstein was the winner, and Teitel-
baum paid the $25.
The two men shook hands and
parted good friends. Last April Tel
telbaum attempted to enter the syn
agogue In Prince street, but was re-
fused admittance by members Of the
congregation, who informed him that
he had no business there.
"But the president and myself are
good friends now" TeiteIbaum is al
legged to have said. The members of the
sohule still refused him admittance,
and he again departed vowing VEN
Reance Shortly after it is said that
Teitelbaum presented another check
for 500 on the West Side Trust Com
pany, alleged to have been signed by
Goldstein.
The cashier of the bank again re-
fused to honor the check, and Teit-
teIbaum started a suit in the First
District Court, which was decided
wednesday. Judge Frederic L. john
son found that the check was illegal,
and advised Goldsteins counsel,
George Furst, to make a complaint
against Teitelbaum in the Fourth
Precinct Court. The check was
turned over TO Eugene II. Meyer
Teitelbaum's attorney, but Il was said
that Meyer would not appear in the
case until Teitelbaum paid him his
fee. Orders were issued by the court
to subpoena Mr.. Meyer to be present
at the examination next Friday.