Tombstone epitaph., 1915-01-24

rles. and Wild Honey. They carried their own Coffee.
 Arrived at the Jumping-On Place they settled down among the Mink and Musk-Rats. Rufus hewed out and damned together a little two by twice Cabin with the Fiue running up the outside. 1t looked ornery enough to be the Birthplace of almost any Success. ful American.
 The Anopheles Mosquito was wait. ing for the Pioneers. In those good old Chills-and-Fever days. no one ever blamed it on the Female of the Spe- cies. Those who had the Shakes al. lowed that they were being jared by the Hand of Providence.
 When the family ran low on Quinine all he had to do was to hook up and drive fifty miles to the nearest Town, where he would trade the Furs for Necessities such as Apple Jack and Navy Twist. and possibly a few Lux uries such as Tea and Salt
 On one Of these memorable Trips to the Store, a Mood which combined Sentiment and reckless Prodigality seized upon him
 He thought of the brave Woman who was back there sn the lonesome Shack. shooing the Prairie Wolves away from the Cradle, and he resolved to reward her.
 With only three Gills of Stone Fence under the Wammus. be spread bis Wildcat Currency on the Coun- ter and purchased a s6 Clock. with jig-saw ornaments. a shiny coat of Varnish, and a Bouquet of Pink Roses on the door.
 Susan burst into Tears when she saw it on the Wall. alongside of the Turkey Wing, and vowed that she had married the Best Man in the World Twenty years later, Jennie, the first begotten Chick at the Log House in the Clearing. had matured and mar ried. and was living at the County Seat with Hiram, Money Changer and l Merchant.
 Railroad Trains. SideBar Buggies, Coal-Oil lamps. and the Civil War had come along with a Rush and disar- ranged primitive Conditions. The Frontier had retreated away over into Kansas.
 In the very township where, of late, the Beaver had toiled without Hin. drance and the Red Fox dug his hole unscared, people were now eating Cove Oysters and going to see East Lynne"
 Hiram was in rugged Health, hay ing defended the flag by Proxy dur ing the recent outcropping of Acri- mony between the Deyotees of Cold Bread and the slaves of Hot Biscuit. The Substitute had been perforated be- yond repair at the Battle of Kenesaw Mountain, proving that Hiram made no mistake in remaining behind to tend Store.
 When Jennie moved in where she could near the Trains whistle and be- gan to sport a Cameo Brooch, she could barely remember wearing Slip and having Stone Bruises.
 Hiram was Near. but he would loosen up a trit,e for his own Preside The fact that Jennie was his Wife gave her quite Standing with him. He admired her for having made such @ Success of her Life.
 They dwelt in a twostory Frame with countless Dewdads and Thingum- bobs tackled along the Eaves and Seal loped around the Bay Windows.
 The country people who came in to see the Eighth Wonder of the World used to stand in silent Awe, breathing through their Noses.
 Out on the Lawn, surrounded by Geraniums. was Cast-Iron Deer which seemed to be looking at the Court House in a startled Manner It was that kind of a Court House.
 In her Front Room the daughter of Rufus and Susan had wonderful Wax Flowers, sprinkled with Diamond Dust; a What-Not bearing Mineral Specimens, Conch-Shells, and a Star