davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
Story of a Postal Gard.

Don't desplSe the badly written post
al card, mOraliZes a writer in BuSi
ness He received a card that was
written In scrawl and showed signs
OF having been in the writer's POCKET
for some time after he had signed IL
But It was answered just as If 1t hau
been written by a reputable business
man And it was 1t seemed that tne
card had been hastily written on the
cars, put into the merchants pocket
discovered several days later and then
mailed. I'VE have since" concludes
the writer. done a very nice business
with this man."
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
Eyes of q Bird.

Fishes and birds have an advantage
over human beings in their ability to
zee on both sides OF them. Their eyes
are set not for looking straight ahead.
but for looking out on each side. That
Is because they balance their bodies
to right or to left, while we balance
forward and backward. A bird can
watch the tips OF both wings at once.
The pilot Of an aerOplane has to turn
his head from side to side to zee his
wing dps.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Ma McTavish Go neighbog,- lis It
true that your Jock startdt to work in
the pit last Mondayf Mn. Christie
(her face glowing with pridel Quite
true Mrs. and. what's MAR, zee
By the papenl that there's been tWa
thoosand mair tons O coal shipped last
week than ever has been beforel aye
said Jock had the makinss q g guild
coIiiert-Lo London Globe
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
German GIeanings.

Germany's population has grown 1so
per cent In a century.
The goose step OF the German soldier
was adopted with an object, that Of
making the peasant conscrips more
sure footed In charge.
In Germany it Is said 70 indicate
good luck II a spider spins its web
downward toward you II the opera
tion Is reversed that means mizfor-
time.
In Germany the prefix -von7 means
''cOurt worthy" Il Is granted By the
sovereign. who alone can raise man
nom the rank Of citizen to that Of z
gentleman
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

When he came In late he said to hi.
waiting wife. See the nice present
brought you"
where IS itT
-Here It "a A point lace hsndker.
chief
-Oh. amt It beautifulF'
Yes. # cost a dollar, marked down
to 90 cents"
~lIy, what a horrible odorr"
-oh. that's the scent on the doIlari-
-ExehangA
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
A. unklns R..e,t

.1ou made a fool OF meF' exclaimed
the angry husband
-calI yourself fool II you wish, mo
dear" calmly rejoined his tautalizing-
h placid wife. hut remember that youl
have always claimed to Be self made
man.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
His Music Room.

and you call this your music roomF
"Yes."
But there are no musical instrH-
ments In it,
NO. It's so constructed that can !
hear any OF the surrounding music that
may be turned on from time to time
Violin World.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
Foroshadowed.

Madge : Why did you throw him
over? Mabel-He would have been a
very parsimonious husband Madge-
But he fairly lavished money on you
during the engagement MabeEYes;
but as soon as we began to talk honey
moon the FIRST thing he did was to look
up excursion rates.-Judge.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
Hin Chosen Profession.

-And what do you expect to be when
Jon grow up. Bobby" asked a minis
ter. "a lawyer. Ike your fatherT'
NO" Bobby replied Mother says
I'm too much Ike papa to make a sue
eessfnl lawyer l did think I'd be
drum major. but ! guess III be Hon
tameE."-Chicago News.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
Eovuss pe..rt.

II has been discovered that the air
OF the Egyptian desert is as free from
bacterial life as the polar regions or
the high seas. and II Is an excellent
place for people suffering from rheu-
mafism or consumption to take up their
abode.-London Telegraph.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Fires Of any size are 50 scarce IN
Holland mat the city Of Rotterdam.
with q population OF over 10000, has
practically no ere department. while
TIE prevalence Of canals Offers an ever
ready water supply 70 eight any ares
which might occur.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

rErom the Viewpoint q an innocsni
bgzlander phllosophicaily semsEksd
the cd codser. 4 beiIsTs nat TIE
ksenest competition know of occrrz
when two chronic dyspeptica See 70
seth4 and eom9srs Their syrlDtnmsr
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Teacher-Now. Clarence. can you zen
me what cant" Is the abbreylauoH
OF? Clarence-It's the abbreyiation Ot
cannot" Teacher-That's right. Now
Edgar. what Is don't the aDDreIM
ton Of? Edgar-''Doughnut.' -ChicA
90 News
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

when you are once wen dressed fox
the day wrote Chesterfield, ''thtnk
no more Of t. Always and without
any stiffness or fear Of discomposing
that dress let all your actions be a.
easy and natural as II yOu had no
clothes ON at an
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Contentment In old age Is deseL'e -
By him alone who has not lost faltn -
what Is good. his perseyerins sIeu e.,
Of win and his desire for &cn'e e
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
InoonaintannN-

Mrz Baeon-He's a very inconsistent
man.
Mrs. Egbert-Indeed7
Yes. Why, he tried TO break his
boy Of being left handed, and be could
only punish the little fellow With bis
Left hand. .-Yonkers Statesman.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

so Jon are marrying the nan OF
yoar choicsf
Not exactly the man Of my ehoice;
rather the man could gstr-Dstro,t
Bree Press
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

-ouiet. children. quietF' sayS the
German mother In Fliegende Batter
'Father IL tired to death. he wrote q
letter today that win go 30 very FAR
an the way to America"
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

An angry ostrich Is great lighter.
he strikes out with his feet. and his
legs. being immensely strong. he can
with no great amount OF exertion. KIM
q man
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
TaI. AIona Hammar.

She = HATE Jon been up 10 break
bread with the new bride and groom
yeti He-NoI I'm not feeling very
StTong.-Boston Transcript.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

s,Did simktns get any damages "
that assault caseY lar
did he? Ny dear fellow yOo
70 see his face
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
s,I.,d;d Scheme.

Mother tof her sonl-He has e.,
dful voice. and we have mao -
taught the fute so that be can ae'OA"
pany himseIf.-Exebange
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Ire virtue OF prosperity Is tsmDsr.
ance. he viEfns Of adversely 3 ford
tide
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

A bog may be proud OF his father
and stin not take much comfort In
wearing the old mans CASTOR clothes.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

You can't satisfy some people. They
are always looking for trouble and ars
never happy when they find It
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Good luck and bad habits are very
seldom on speaking terms.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

II a man got all he wished he'd have
more than he knew what 70 do with.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

A well wisher is good. but a well
doef is better.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

When you hear a man say that he
has never made a mistake Just ash
him II he has ever made anything else.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11
PITH AND POINT.

Envy has tOrpedOed many a friend
ship
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

There are two classes Of busy people
those who are busy in fact and those
who are busy in appearance.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Wise men are always doubtful about
the man who is dead sure Of every
thing.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

When it comes to pacifying MEXICO
the other powers seem willing to let
their Uncle Sam do #
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Calling a man a liar is never an ar
gument
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

It Is as safe to judge a man by the
excuse he makes as BY the company
he keeps.
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

There is as much trouble over Mace
donna now as there was thousands Of
years ago
The broad ax., 1915-09-11

Envy has tOrpedOed many a friend
ship
Calling a man liar is never an ar
eument
A well wisher is good. but a wen
dOer is better.
Good luck and bad habits are very
seldom on speaking terms
Ifa man got all he wished he'd have
more than he knew what 70 do with.
Wise men are always doubtful about
the man who is dead sure Of every
thing.
1t is as safe to Judge a man by the
excuse he makes as by the company
he keeps.
There is as much trouble over Mace
donna now as there was thousands Of
years ago.
When it comes to pacifyfng Mexico
the other powers seem wiling to let
their Uncle Sam do It
There are two classes Of busy people
those who are busy in fact and those
who are busy in appearance.
You can't satisfy some people. They
are always looking for trouble and are
never happy when they find II.
A bog may be proud of his father
and stin not take much comfort In
wearing the old mans CASTOR clothes.
When you hear man say that he
has never made a mistake Just ask
him II he has ever made anything else.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
S. A. L. Meeting to Ratify
Acquisition of CA. & w.

Stockholders Of the Seaboard Air
Line railway will hold = special meet
ing at Petersburg. Va. tomorrow 10
ratify the acquisition Of tho Carolina
Atlantic and Western railway. a sys-
ten with s3l miles OF railway. and the
construction of eighty-five miles Of new
railroad betw cen Charleston and sa-
vannah.
The stockholders OF tho Carolina AT
lantic and Western have already rati-
fled the merger. and a large percentage
OF the total capital stock OF the Sea-
board II already In hand to be voted
by proxy at the meeting tomorrow.
Acquisition OF the Carol!na-Atlantic
and Western, together with the con-
struction OF the eighty-five miles of new
roadway. which Is already under way.
will give the Seaboard entrance to two
additional Southern ports. Charleston
and Georgetown. 1t will also shorten
its route to Florida resorts and thus
put 1t In better position to compete
for the heavy traffic from the East to
those towns.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
HIS APPEAL DENIED.

which have from time to time been
imposed upon you. and numerous
other acts OF which you are fully
aware. The department believes that
for the above reasons you are not a
fit person for retention In the serv-
Ice.
A. M. KLoEPFER, Postmaster.
Protested Dismissal.
Mr.. Burkitt wrote the next day I,
Kloepfcr and to the Attor
ney General as follows:
A. NJ. Klospfer. Postmaster. WIN
nctka. Ill.
Dear Sir: This is to acknowledge your
letter Of yesterday In which you
summarily remove me from my posi-
tiOn a. assistant postmaster. l have
not been xiven notice Of any charges.
II any, having been preferred against
me. M required BY the civil service
act. I am fully prepared to make
answer to any charges that may be
] deny with vigor that I am guilty
OF any disrespect In any manner to-
ward President Wilson, as you charge
In your letter. And I also deny that
dement's have from time to time
been imposed upon me. as you state.
Without any charges having been
preferred against me. you demanded
my keys and ordered mo out of the
postofficc. Yours very truly.
GEORGE BURklTT.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

William l.. Purdun, fourteen-year-old
son Of Mr.. and Mrs. Luther PurdLm. OF
Cedar Grove. was the victim OF the
this county yesterday. when he was IA
tally injured by a coiored man employed
as chauffeur by Philip r. Hall. OF
Washington. The accident occurred on
the farm Of Arthur Watkins. near Cedar
Grove. A rabbit was started and the
man turned suddenly and fired. The
boy received the entire load in his right
thigh. He was hurried to the home
Of DR.. Shippers. at Germn ntown. and
preparations were being made to take
him to a Washington hospital when he
died. The funeral will take place at
II o'clock Monday morning from the
Baptist Church at Cedar Grove.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
Elks to Stage Oyster
Roast Next Thursday

An oyster roast. vaudeville perform
ance. and dance will be staged by tho
Washington Lodge Of Elks In their club
rooms next Thursday night. Members
of the lodge. their friends. and ladies
will be welcomed by Chairman Charles
Herman and the other members Of tho
committee on arrangements. oysters
will be served In the rathskeller and
hall. The ballroom viii be elaborateiy
deco rated for the OCCASION.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
EVANSVILLE.

The four-year-old child of Mr. and
Mrs. Frank Lancaster was seriously
burned about the head yesterday while
playing near a bonfire In the rear of
the home In Brentwood. Mrs. Lancas-
ter suffered severe burns on the hands
In rescuing the child. DR.. II. r. Willis.
OF Hyattsville. was summoned, and the
child was taken to Washington hos
pitai.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
H. R. Latimer to Speak on
Uniform Type for Blind

"a Uniform Type for the Blind" Will
be the subject OF an address to be de-
iivered for the benefit OF the blind at
the Library Of Congress on Tuesday
evening at S:15 O'Clock by II. Randolph
Latimer. executive secretary Of the Ma
tional Commission on Uniform Type for
the Blind. The lecture will be delivered
In pavilion No. of the library.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
Loses Government Job
Because He Criticised
Wooing of President
Assistant Postmaster at Winnetka, ILL.,, Dismissed on
Ground of "Disloyalty to Chief Executive"
Appeals to Washington, But
Plea Is Denied.

CHICAGO Nov. iCeorge Bui for six years first assistant
postmaster Wnne has been discharged from the Government
service the Of "doyay the President according to
article printed in the Tribune today
Burki alleged have made the remark that President Wilson
should have waited longer after the death his wife before becoming
engaged to Mrs. Calf.
Mr. Burkn public series papers relating his dis
charge Of which the United States Government he has been
making efforts get possession.
, HIS APPEAL DENIED
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
u. S. Expects to Quell
Haiti Revolt at Once

In two davs all Haitian bandits
should be dispersed. and complete order
restored on the island. Navy Depart
ment officials said today, following re-
ports from Admiral Caperton. All the
hands to the east Of the Cape Haitien-
Bahon railway have been quieted.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
ROCKVILLE.

Of Mr.. and Mrs. Philip b. souder. of
Damascus. this county. and Leroy Har-
ris. OF Travilah. were married at Lay
louisville by the Rev. John L. Fort.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The mission for women conducted the
past week In st. Teresa's Church was
brought to a close this afternoon. and
tonight the mission for men will be
opened to last for week.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

Mr. and Mrs. James W. Marbury en-.
tertained last night at the game OF
five hundred.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

Harry Kelly. George Hanes. T. r
Williamson. and Harry Arnold returned
to their homes this morning. after q
three-day hunting trip In Maryland.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The Misses Kingdom entertained the
Rockville Inquiry Club at its bi-weekiy
meeting. The program included a paper
on What 10 Feminism7" by Mrs. Frank
A. Spencer. and other features. Re-
treatments we're served.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The Ladies' Guild OF Emmanuel
Church is to give a supper at the parish
Wood IL chairman OF the general com
mittee.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
ANACOSTIA.

NJ. NJ. Parker Lodge. No. q. is srrans-
Ing for a progressive euchre and dance
in Masonic Hall for November a.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

M. Summers OF Berwyn. was severely
injured yesterday when the horse he
was driving slipped and threw him out
of the wagon.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

County Commissioner-elect Theodore
B. Middleton announces the marriage OF
bis dauRhter Miss Mildred G. Middleton
to Elmer c. Wheatiey. Of Brandywine
Tho ceremony took place Wednesday q,
the Catholic Church At Laurel.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The Rockville Inquiry Club will give
q tea at the MONTGOMERY Country Club
here tomorrow afternoon. for the beneft
Of the Montgomery County Social Serv.
ice League
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The Hyattsville Neediecraft club will
hold Its annual sale OF fancy work IN
the armory Of Company r Thursday and
Friday.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14


pealed to First Assistant Postmaster
General Daniel G. Roper on the ground
that his dismissal was irregular and
contrary to civil service regulations Mr..
Roper then replied that the papers had
been carefully reviewed and that
favorable consideration of the request
would have to be denied.
Following are the letters in the order
In which they were written:
United States Postoffce.
Winnetka. ILL.,. Oct. 20. 1915.
Mr.. George Burkitt. Assistant Post
It has been reported to me that on
the day the reports concerning tho
engagement Of the President were
published In the daily papers you
which indicated disloyalty not only
to your superior officers. but also
the Administration as we'll. thereby
placing me In . very embarrassing
position.
Please let me bave promptly q
written statement from you. quoting
the exact language you used. and
submit such explanation as you may
wish in this connection.
A. NJ. kLOEPFER. Postmaster.
Remembers His Words.
Mr.. Burkitt did not keep copy Of
his reply to the letter. but he quoted
what he could remember Of 1t. as fol-
lows:
- replied to this in the nearest words
I could remember and as follows: I
acknowledged that in q general conver-
sation with a man through the window.
the remark that l thought that any. one
should wait at least q year before re-
marrying and In line with that thought
that the President should. too.
II also made answer to the foresoing
letter that there was not = soul In tho
office except the postmaster'S own
brother and this man with whom was
talking
Burkitt then received this letter:
United States Postoffice. Winnetka,
ILL.,. October ~. 1Sl5-9eorge Burkitt.
assistant postmaster: Your reply to
my letter Of even date. DO you not
remember making certain remarks in
the presence Of carricry and clerks
during Office hours In the morning of
the same day. that you admit you
made statements through the post
Office window to stranger? II so.
state the language used. Please re-
turn original letter.
A. NJ. KLoEPFER. Postmaster.
Exchange Of Remarks.
He replied as follows:
A. NJ. Kloepfer. postmaster: Re
plying to your second letter Of this
date. will say that there was a gen
eral exchange of remarks by all on
duty in question. l could not recall
any specific remark in the matter on
my part, any more than l can OF
those present.
do know. though, that the talk
was gcenral. and any more than TAX
ing part in q general line OF talk
with the others I remember nothing.
do not see how l can be held liable
for making with the rest small talk
affair Of the matter. OF which I
could not recall a single remark.
GEORGE BURKITT.
On November I Burkitt received tho
following notice Of his discharge:
u. 8. Postoffice. Winnetka. Ill. No
vember I, 1915.
Mr.. George Burkitt. Assistant POST
master:
This IL to advise you that you are
this day removed from the service of
the Government and from your POSI-
tion as assistant postmaster Of this
office on account OF your disloyalty
to the President and the very 'unsat-
isfactory service you have been rem
derins. a. evidenced by the demerits
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

Work is now In progress on the i'm
provement OF Seventeenth street be-
tween Good Hope road and Minnesota
avenue.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

ett. Mrs. William B. Ciagett. Mrs.
Mrs. A. T. Brooke. Mrs. F. Il. McManus,
Mrs. A. M. Marbury. Mrs. L. A. Grif-
fifth. Mrs. Mary 4. Wilson, Mrs. Rev.
erdy sasscer, Mrs. Charles J. Hill. Mrs.
John Russell. Miss Susie Ciagett. Miss
Isabelle Randolph, Miss Carol Wilson.
Miss Rachael Clasett. Miss Josephine
Wilson. and Miss Elsie Haupt.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The Rev. DIR. s. u. Mitman. of South
Bethlehem. Pa. fielc secretary OF
the board OF religious education OF the
Protestant Episcopal church. will speak
tomorrow evening In Christ Church
parish hall. before the Alexandra
Sunday School Association
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

The board of county commissioners,
the orphans' court. and tho board Of
county road directors will be In ses-
sion In the court house at Upper Marl-
borO Tuesday,
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
EDUCATIONAL

AcCoUNTANCY.
10 sit year c.. p. A. ana business courses:
WRsiiISGToH school, OF ACCOUNT
ANCY. Y. N. C. A.. 113s q N. ".
The Washington times., 1915-11-14

Mrs. Sarah Bashford. widow of the
late Phillip Bashford, died this morn
ing at her home In Bashfords road.
She is survived by several children.
The Washington times., 1915-11-14
ALEXANDRIA WILL
REPAIR OLD TURNPIKE
When Completed It Will Be the
Shortest Route to Wash.
ington.

ALEXANDRIA. Nov. H.-The old
river turnpike between Alexandria and
washington is to be put In thorough
repair by the county supervisors. and
when completed will be the shortest
route between the two cities.
There will be three fine automobile
roads between this city and Washing
ton. The Mt Vernon avenue. through
the towns Of Potomac. Del Ray. and
st. Elmo. is now completed. and has
been opened to the public. Grading 10
practically finished on the Russell road.
which enters Alexandria through Brad
dock Heights. Rosemont. and King
street. and the new undertrack crossing
OF the Old Dominion railway. near
Hnme's Springs. is also finished.
The river turnpike. which follows Po.
tomac yards on the cast and runs
through the brick yards near Arlington
Junction. is one and one-half miles
snorser shorter than either OF the other two I've
OF the overhead bridge at the Door Nouse
to the south end Of the highway bridge
being three and one-half miles.
Frederick Griilbortzer. the nve-year-
knocked down by an automobile on
King street. between Fayette and Henry
streets. last night. and slightly Injured.
A coroner's jury. summoned by
this morning over the body Of Will
Taylor. colorcd, who died in q hos
pltal yesterday morning as the result
OF being struck by an automobile. The
evidence showed that the man was
struck by a machine owned and operat-
ed by John J. Hermann. of E0S r
street. northwest. Washington. on the
afternoon Of November 8, near Hume
Springs.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-22

Two boys who spent the night in lob
bies of the Post Office and the Union
Station waiting for Santa Claus to come
in on a train from the north. were ar
rested early yesterday and held as fuGi-
tives from their parents.
But old Kris doesn't get here until
Saturday. Detective Baur told them.
I'VE thought he was to slide down on
the Weather Bureaus snow Storm one
OF them replied.
One of the boys, who said he was
Floyd Rollins, L, of 1OlS Second street
northwest, was sorrow-striclen when
the sun rose yesterday and his long
nights wishful vigil brought neither
Santa Claus nor the snow. His COM
panion, q white hoy, Bernard Cady, II,
of 4s Fifth street northeast. took more
stolidly the failure of the gift king to
arrive.
For the forepart of the night they had
taken reservations in a lobby OF the
Post Office, near the Union Station.
They were undecided about that plan
along about 3 O'Clock I'm the morning,
for while they saw many packs there,
none belonged to Kris Kringle. So feel
ing he was not to come through the
mails, since the Weather Bureaus
prophecy was wrong. they went to
Union station hoping Herr Kringle had
abandoned his sleigh for a Pennsylvania
train.
Detective Baur saw them about s
s'clock. sleepy and tired, standing near
The Washington herald., 1915-12-22
0be Down Gr,et

The wsneab Chrlstian Aasoeiat3oa,
Of 171S Thirteenth street northwest,
will serve Christmas dinners on Satur-
day for the inmates Of the home.
Gifts will be distributed from a big
Christmas tree.
Riehsrd J. Harden Camp, Ne. Z De-
partment Of the Potomac. United Span
ish War Veterans. will hold ladies'
night" on the evening Of December
81. The camp will hold q banquet at
National Hotel on January II.
Christ Episcopal Church Of Gesrxe-
town will observe the ninety eighth
anniversary Of the founding of the
parish on Friday night in connection
with the regular Christmas Eve serv-
ices. Rev. DR.. James H. W. Blake,
rector, will preside.
George Washington University stu
dents will organise an art society at
o'clock in the Arts and Sciences
Building. 2073 @ street northwest. w.
s. Hance. one of the editors of The
Hatchet. weekly student publication.
will preside. q
"Uaele Rea1s" Might will be eeIe-
brated by the Southern Society tonight
In the small ballroom at the New will
lard. Interest will be lent by the
presence Of Joel Chandler Harris, son
of the famous Southern humorist, who
bears the full name of his distin-
guished father.
The washiaGtoa active and alumni
chapters Nof the Delta Tau Delta Fra
ternity will hold a joint dance at
Hauschers on Christmas Eve.