The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1915-02-17
FLUCTUATIONS Of
|LABAUME AND Woo
WONDERFUL LITERATURE FOL-
LOWS EATING RAILROAD
MANS APPLES.

i. II. LaBaune. agricultural and
industrial agent, Norfolk and Western
Railway, sends box Of fancy Vir-
GINA apples to John Wood, secretary
of the Roanoke Chamber of Com
! merce, and receives this characters
tic rsFiy.
The box Of apples went forward
with the following enclosed:
"'Dear Friend o. Mine
RI am sending you box of the
most wonderful apples. Open it and
| their enhancing aroma will arise to
greet your eager nostrils and saturate
the very atmosphere. A sweet per-
fume unrivaled by the doors OF Ara
bia, o. any other essence distilled
In natures laboratory.
Look upon these gold aud ruby
| beauties and your very eye-bails Will
dance and Jingle in expectant extacy.
Rivalling the famed Golden Apples
from the Garden of Wesperides itself,
/ they are the selfsame type of luscious
fruit from which the beautiful Po-
mona with loving hands distilled the
| tabled Nectar of the Gods.
Eat them and you will experience
gastronomic spasm of pure delight,
q tintiilat-ng poy, that even Epicurus
himself had never known. AS teeth,
tongue and palate crush and caress the
tender. luscious pulp, your very be-
ing will be transported into the blue
empyrean by the. unseen spirits of
forgotten days Look into the pid
circumambieDt depths beneath you
and your eHraptured gaze will greet
the sunlight and the shadows as they
chase each other across the billowy
fields of golden grain, dance among
the sun kissed valleys. flutter over
, sparkling streams and finally filter
through the emerald canopies Of Vir-
ginia's orchard bowers that crown
thousand hills.
a JOY Forever.
Eat them and all these things Will
come to pass, yea, even more. Eat
them and by their magic, you will
hoods happy days, when you Joined
with other loved ones in the harvest
roundelays. You will hear the glo-
rious music In the laughter and the
song of the young men and maindens
as they while the hours along. Under
leafy bowers, rich studded with these
topaz, ruby gems. they are harvest
ing these treasures, SO we can send
them to our friends.
Eat one now. and you will ex-
perience that deleetable beneficence
that fingers in the memory for life
time and makes one realize that time
itself Is nil and advancing years are
but 4 dream.
II extend to you. dear friend o
mine, my most vitalzing vibrations
peace, prosperity, longevity, health,
appiness--grasp them all with well
wishes from friend.
Sincerely,
f. H. I.aBaume.
\ FeIicitous illumination.
In due course Mr.. IaBaume re-
ceived the following letter from Sec
rotary Wood:
January /. 1915,
Happy New Year.
Mr.. r III. LaBaume.
Roanoke, Va.
Dear Mr.. I4eBaume.
II am oniy now recovered suffic-
iently from the combination OF Christ
mas. that splendid box of apples and
the perspicaciously languiduous card
you sent me to sufficiently attempt
TO express my appreciation of your
consideration I want to say right
here and now that I have eaten good
apples In the past. but that these
were the best I have ever tasted Also
that thought of the donor every time
I took a bite, which means that you
have been pretty chronically on my
mind.
blessings Galore.
The above. being the truth and
nothlnE but the truth, l am going
to wish for you longevity. activity
mirthr cheer, satisfactory digestion,
lack of insomnia. freedom from wor-
ry. care. backache. restlessness, swim
ming in the head, impecuniosity,
luminosity. chagrin. dandruff. excru-
desance, eczema. peruna, potash. govt,
goiter, gullibility, proxiixity. approx
nation and other woes. evidences of
misdeed age and impracticability. to
say nothing of an earnest desire for
your warmth. comfort, health, reli-
Eion, infantiie complaints. such as are
indigenous to your environment. at
mosphere and protoplosms. while feel
ing sure thar your capacity will not
preclude an absorption OF those emo
luments, gains, revenues and like ad-
vantages of n personal nature. AL
though | am not so sure but what you
often labor as much for the love of
labor itself and It's accomplishments
as you do for the nine dollars per
month you draw from the company
Therefore. let me thank you again,
wish you all good things for 1915,
and permit me To remain your made
Quate, but sincere friend.
JOHN WOOD"