The Washington times., 1915-12-21
When Thirty
Five Feigns
Seventeen!
Telling of the Adventures Of
the Aged Forty-two Who
Dressed to Look Like
=. Number 1S Misses!
? Asst summer she lansuished alone,
and unattended. forty-two shirt

- Asst summer she lans uished alone,
and unattended. forty-two shirt
waist and all she lived by her
self in big apartment mouse
filled with people who knew one anoth-
er. and were congenial but she was
out of 1t entirely. She had thirty-five
years to her credit in addition to the
forty-two shirt waist size, and she work
ed for Uncle Sam. She used to tell
me once in a while how drab life was.
But yesterday she walked proudly
down F street with a wrist-watch youth
on either side of her. and at Fourteenth
and F when she passed the corner
where a bevy OF college prodigal sons
were gathered. she received as many
sdmiring glances as did the girl ahead
Of her fwho to the piercing eye Of won-
an was a bona fide eighteen misses'').
In fact she might have been the young
woman's prototype. From head to toe
they were as alike as convicts. Each
wore small fur trimmed turban, each
a tight fitting basque suit with a iuf-
fle skirt, fur on the hem Of the coat.
and fur about the neck and sleeves.
And high, side-laced colored' BOOTS to
batch the suit were very evident by
virtue OF short, spare skirts
She chatted gayly, and talked not Of
mundane governmenty mustinesses. but
of politics. and fashion. and Mrs. V.
castle, and Rosieka Schwimmer. and
made a joke about Noah and the Peace
Ship. and spoke of everything as be-
ing smart" or perfectly cocking," and
of adoring ever so many things right
Of hand. And when one of the youths
said something which made the other
boy laugh she looked at him and
crinkled up her nose (that same nose
which six months before was NEVER
crinkled under any circumstances and
creased with cold cream every night.
and said: 'Ohl love it :"
Behind and before. from the sides,
in the face and even under her SIX In
and her hat she was metamorpho osed!
She was FLApPER!
Later in the week. a. q stool and
sandwich eatery she confessed the
"hange. and out Of the fuIlness Of her
neart told how 1t came about.
1T all began with the suits this
YEAR" Size paused and pushed her
cup aside. SO that she might lean lux e.
uriously upon her elbows. Her cheeks
began to get pink and her eyes (Which
always were pretty began to dance.
"G asked for my usual tailored
model. you know. lapels, plain and
severe, and l couldn't get one.
couldn't tind one for love or money
that was what I would wear. And
tnere wasn't a thing to De had but
this fur-trimmcd STUFF. Fur. fur, fur,
until in desperation, tired to death. I
bought this Then | m ade the blessed
mistake Of wearing 1t to the millin-
er's when I went for hat and the
clerk simply choked this fur turban
on me. And here ! am.
THE first day went down to the
office / was scared stiff. But. do you
know. from that minute, the women
who had always been pleasant to me
hogan to freeze me out and the men
who had never looked at me began to
hang on my desk, also my words. And
at my apartment people began to say
good morning and good evening to me
for the first time.
And when my suit was a week old
friend OF my mothers from the West
came in and offered me a position in
his office at twice what l was getting
from Uncle Sam.
The suit that had hated because It
was merely a larger number OF the
most popular version for mo. IS
Misses" has saved my life. ] am no
longer thirty-fve, and wear forty
Two that looks the part. but twenty ana
plump, lust plump! And I have another
whole row of chances to get married A!
But II 1t hadn't been for these decep-
tive suits. which make the forty-two
and the eighteen misses absolutely sy-
nonymous and identical and duplicates
Of one another / would still be on the
shelf
While she helped herself to cream
puff and made eyes at chocolate
eclair. a man who had heard the whole
confession stared at her with even
greater admiration than before, and
nearly broke his neck to have her speak
D him.
Which merely proves that they all
wish to be fooled!
And the new suits according to this
perfectly true story would fool any
body-anybody.
II you don't believe It try separating
The mothers from their daughters some
thickly populated shopping day and see.