The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-06-12
but 1 don't CO." persisted Mrs,

but uOH go, persisted MIS-
Bowser.
| She was right. Mr.. Bowser had
never even rowed a skiff about on
rock bottom. At a motor boat eX-
hibition he had stood within five
| inches and a half of a fine looking
motor boat, and had been told that
the price was $3.50, but that was the
limit of his experience. After chew
ing the rag for three or four minutes
he growled:
You can stay home if you like, but
I am going. You would probably
spoil our day for us if you went along.
Tell the cook to have. me bit of
breakfast ready soon after o'clock
At seven o'clock next morning, MIR.
Bowser was DIT Mortons wharf, and
found the rest of the party all ready
there. During the night he had
dreamed of being drowned in each of
the seven seas, but this fact had not
lessened his assurance that he could
run a motor boat. The owner of the
that point. For Re asked of him:
Have you had much experience ?"
"Only about fifteen years." was the
reply.
you manage the engine from the
wheel"
sure see Don't waste any breath
on me-
All got into the boat, Mr.. Bowser
took the wheel, and the owner start
ed up the engine. Mr.. Skill's wife was
a large portiy woman with squlnt
in one eye. The other eye hadn't
squirt, but a ferocious glare. She
didn't like the looks of Mr.. Bowser
at first sight and she was ready to
pick fuss with him on the slightest
excuse. She got that excuse within
five minutes. A ferry boat came out
of a slip and whistled for the motor
boat to get out of her way. Mr.. Bow
ser was willing enough to do so. He
turned the wheel to port and then to
StArhO9r6
and forth when Mrs. Skill cried out:
See what the idiot is doing! He'll
have us under the bow of that ferry
boat in minute more. Take him
away from the wheel some of YOU
Before he had released the wheel
Bowser had escaped a collision by
tain of the ferry boat had told him
what he thought of him, and also of
his father and grandfather When
the danger had been averted Mr.. Bow
ser Smiling1y said in excuse:
Il got a cinder in my eye, and could
not see for moment
IF another cinder comes along it
may mean a broken neck for you,
eye.
Mr.. Bowser wobbled the boat along
in a tolerable straight course for about
a quarter of mile. Then he had to
look out for an ocean liner coming in
from the sea. Should he pass to port
or starboard of her? He didn't know.
The fact that he didn't know put him
in a sweat. He finally decided to go
to port of her. Then he decided on
the contrary. In the midst of his per-
turbation. Mrs. Skill screamed out:
Hes at it again. Well be drowned
this time fer sure"
The three men jumped for Mr.. Bow
ser as before, and there was another
struggle to wrench the wheel from
him. In the midst of it the engine
stopped working, and if the big liner
hadn't altered her course by two or
three points, there would have been
a smash and five people drowned. AS
it was, the motor boat was half filled
with water from the wash of the
steamships propeller.
You old liar, but you told me you
could run a motor boat exclaimed
Mr. Skill.
HE couldn't run a plank" added
Mrs. Skill.
I'VE ought to throw him over
board" said the two men in chorus.
Mr.. Bowser rose up from the bot
tom of the boat where he had been
floating around and said:
Ladies and Gentlemen: I told you
that L could run motor boat. 1 think
got the thing mixed up. L should
have told you that L could run Mis- |
sissippi river steamboat, and I'll stick |
to it that can I do not ask to take
the wheel again.
But if you are to go along with
us, this is the end of the trip for me-"
half shrieked the owner of the fero-
cious eye.
"Our lunch is all water soaked" an
nounced one of the men.
And the tackle and bait have been |
washed overheard" added the other. |
After staring at each other for a |
moment Mr.. Skill solemnly said:
''Bowser, you have got to go. 1 |
think l can start the engine and we |
will land you over there"
Mr.. Bowser hadn't word in reply |
and ten minutes later was landed in |
the woods of Staten Island. He didn't |
get away, however, without something
more from Mrs. Skill. She scrambled
ashore after him, saying:
THAT half-baked idiot mas spoiled /
the day for all of us and 1 don't pro-
pose to let him go so mighty easy.
Come on, the rest Of YOU
Mr.. Bowser started on the run as
Mrs Skill picked up a club and be-
fore she could administer justice he
was lost to sight amidst the trees and
bushes.
Didn't the party go fishing?''
asked Mrs. BoWSer as Mr.. BowSer
reached home about noon, having a
fOrlorn and abjeCt appearance.
1T has been postponed for two
weeks he calmly lied as he wandered
out into the back yard to see if his
were still living.-(Copy-
right. 1915. by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate.)