The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1915-05-21

oS: mere in the sun and think thing.
over. And gradually / seemed to work
things out in my mind, and at first
was reconciled, and then happy, and
now | am just like a girl in mind
again
You see, as / was saying, folks are
coming back to belief, though it is not
the old certainty. Now / never re-
GREETED marrying Jim, and hope and
am sure that l shall meet him again,
and that whatever there was of COM
mon interest and affection between us
will be renewed. But that doesn't
SHUT me out from Tom.
Now suppose had married Tom.
Would the old romance, which exists
still, in spite of my seventy-eight
years, continue? Or would 1t have
been frittered away with the cares of
life, the bearing and rearing OF my
children, the friction of things and the
struggles2 think 1t would have
been.
That seems the strange thing about
hfe-the moment you begin to realize
happiness you lose it. 1t all consists
in the looking backward or looking
forward.
Now, what an adventure life ought
to be, and was, and is becoming
again, with the old faith coming back
to us. Because l am quite sure that
1t Is this youth in our hearts, which
never dies, no matter how old we are,
that is to be realized in the life to
come. l am quite sure that then AT
last, we shall find the happiness which
we all try so hard to catch and some
how miss.
Well, then, does anyone mean to tell
me that my heart won't be big enough
to hold both my husband and Tom, in
an existence where there is no marry
ing or giving in marriage? It seems
to me that there one will have all the
romance of girlhood and all the Joys
of being mother, and grandmother
too.
l have put this idea into words
rather crudely, not being a writer;
but. anyhow, that was my conclusion,
and l told Tom about it. You can't
imagine how pleased it made me to
know that he understood.
THAT is just how have been feel
ing, my dear" he told me. You see,
when I heard you were married life
seemed impossible for me- But by
and by began to find out that it has
got to be lived, and l tried TO live it.
My wife and l were very happy to-
gether. And thought often that if
it had been you our children would
have been different souls.'
"Yes," / told him. II should be
dreadfully unhappy without Polly and
Dora and Mark and Philip and the
two boys in Los Angeles
"But now we have each other as
well as our own" he answered.
l closed my eyes, because I wanted
to think. l was casting over in my
mind the different women l knew, and
it seemed to me that whether they had
married the right man or the wrons
man it seemed pretty well to even
itself out And ] thought of those
who had never married at all, and
what load of experience there must
be waiting FOR them in the next life.
"For my part, Tom," l said, 81
would not have it any different. l am
so glad / never married you--and
used to think my heart was broken.
Same here" he answered, squeez-
ing my hand, and then | saw couple
who were passing along the street
look up and smile at us.
"Ill be over tomorrow about the
same time" said Tom, getting up and
taking off his hat with the sweeping
gesture he used to use. watched him
walk away toward his cottage. How
pleasant it is to be alive, / thought
And how pleasant it is to be an ole
woman, with all ones troubles lived
through already.