davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13

has been severely criticism the way this
guvverment is run lately. Anne says
| for two cts he'd set down & write a
| letter to Washington and tell em there
what he thinks. Wed hate to be in
their place if Anne should git mad and
take it into his head to cut loose
Doc Livermore, our expert human
speshialist & horse veterinary is suffer
ing from a turrible bad cold in his
head. Doc says he's all bungd UP I'M
til he cant smell or taste nor hear no.
think hardly. Being as Doc is a
physishian folks thinks its ridick1us for
him to have a cold & as a result he
never gifts emmy sympathy when he's
sick
q Seth Dewberry, our lion hearted.
town constubble ketched rat in
trap in his cellar tother night Seth
has been a good cal botherd by rats IN
his cellar. this. winter This is the fifth
one he has ketched. Well, Seth is a
good constubb1e wether it comes to
ketchin rats or criminals.
Samantha Deevers is on the sick list
this wk as ushual, but Samantha ad
nits that she Amt as sick as she was
last wk Probably by next wk how
ever she'll be sicker-that's the way
it goes, better one wk & worse the next.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Abe Has Cats

Abe McCracken informs US that he
has a hole mess of kittens on his hands
which he don't know what to do with
& hates to kill and so he has decided
to give them away for nothink to who
ever desires kittens of this descript-
shion.
Abes old brindle cat presented Abe
with seven little brindle kittens about
wks. ago but Abe didn't know ennything
about it until tother day when he was
rurrlrnagin around in the haymow after
eggs and run his hand into what he
tf1ort was a hens nest and found seven
little kittens in it The shock scairt Abe
to SIGH extent that he fell over back
ards and tumbled down outen the hay
NOW landing on the back of his old gray
mare who kicked and squealed some
think awful
Abe says these kittens mother is a tur-
rible good mouser and he persooms they
will be also. Here is a chanst to git a
kitten for nothing. Otherwise they'll be
drouned. First come, first served.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Personal BreefS

Abe Witherow while stoopin over
tother morning to pull on his boots
busted his braces on hisse1f and being
as his wife haddent time to fix EN-
Abe amt wore emmy braces sinst. Abe
has managed to keep his trousers on
fisse1f by wearin a belt around his
self, but he says he has to wear it so
gorrammed tite that he cant skeercely
breathe
Wess Woodruff, our expert hunter
& trapper ketched a curious thing in
one of his steel traps one day last wls
it was his own hand. It was a
good cal of a surprise to Yves when
the trap snapped shet on his hand. Yves
managed to git his hand outen the
trap, but he left his mitt in it which
he couldn't git out so he left it in the
trap and come home in disgust with
only one nitt on and tother hand
logged near froze.
Dad Henderson diddent sleep well
last Thursday night all night and says
he had the most turrible dreams a per-
son ever dreamp Dad holerd &
screeched off and on all night long and
twice jumpd clean outen bed skeering
his wife dreadful Dad attributes this
to three pieces of hot mince pie which
he ct before retiring being as he was
hungry 1t would probably of been
better if Dad had of went to bed on
a empty stunmick.
Anne Hillyer, our talented loryer,
legal lite. J. of P. & Notary Publick
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Job Home on a Visit

lob Hanson who is Abe Witherow's
wife's mothers son & who holds 1ucre-
tive posishion over to the co. seat has
been visiting at home for the past wk
or two on a little vacashion.
Job says he likes his posishion which
is a responsible one and he wouldn't be
surprised if he would git hisse1f permot-
ed before long at more pay being as he
has now been working in the same place
he started going on seven yrs. and he
thinks its about time to git rise
Job says he don't see how ennybuddy
could be contented to live in Bingville
speshially after they have lived at the
co. seat like hes did and enjoyed the gay
life there Job wears a collar which is
so high that he cant turn his head with
out moovin his feet. He also smokes Gig
arets and swears like everything to say
r1othink of other accomplishments which
he has lerrt at the co. seat.
P. S.-We almost forgot TO state that
Job works in livery stable feeding the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13

This is to serve motifs to everybuddy
in Bingville & vicinity who it con-
Germs or otherwise that MY WIFE
HAS FLEW THE COOP AGINi In
other words, she has went & left me in
clooding my bed & board, ct cettery too
numerous to mentchion. When she left
me she left me laying on the floor
with most of my hair puId outen my
head and both eyes bungd shet. She
done this with her hands and a floor
mop. Then she left me. / understand
she is at present living with her mother.
I hope she continoos to live there
forever. 1 don't care if she never
comes back. I consider that line better
off without her both fzzically & men,
tally.
My wife & me never did git along
never struck her like she did me-
knowd bettern to do that.
What 1 desire to say in this connecl<-
sfion is that if my wife comes to you
and contrackts emmy bills of emmy
descripshion whatever and tells you
that lie pay EN- shes mistaken because
/ wont pay EN-. Ennybuddy who trusts
my wife does so at their own risk becuz
wont be responsible for her detts being
as / never was and / amt a going to
start in now.
Its turrible lonesome Twin all
alone, but Ide ruther do that than to
live in mortal terrier Praps some day
lie Uit divorce after u-hitch Tie tru
to find me another wife if possible.
ort to be able to find one being as I've
had a lot of cxperients as a married
man. Enos Snodgrass.
GRASS WIDDERER.
BINGvILLE
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Cold mOIaSSeS

! You've all heerd how slow cold mo-
lasses is. Well Hen Weathersby,
prop of our genl store had desided that
cold molasses amt so slow as it's
cracked up to be. Here Is how it hap
pend:
Jim Winslow come into Hens store
tother evg with a gal jug and planked
it down on the counter and told Hen
he wanted a gal of molasses in it. so
Hen he TUX the jug down cellar and put
a tunnel into it and then put the jug
under the molasses bari fawcett and
turned on the fawcett and set there
waitin for the Jug to fill UP but being
as the mo1asses was so cold it jest
barely trickeld into the jug and after
Hen had waited half hour and only
a pint of molasses had run into the
Jug he come back upstairs In disgust
and lit his pipe and set down by the
stove and got into a game of checkers
with. Anne Hi11yer & Jim forgot all
about byingin the jug for molasses
& went home and Anne forgot also
locked lip the store about half past 9
and went home and to bed.
About midnight Hen wofeed TIP all
of student and happened to think that
he had left the mo1asses runnin into
Inns Jug so he jumped outen bed and
half drest and run acrost to the store
and down cellar and the Jug was full
and there was pool of molasses con-
tanning about S gals on the floor a.
round the bari.
Hen turned off the molasses and jest
left the mess there until next day when
he cleaned it up. Hen says that's the
dearest gal of mo1asses he ever sold
in his life. Hen wanted Jim to pay
for all the molasses that was wasted,
b,1t Tim refused
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Sad Blow for Sine

Slime. Gookins had sad blow to hap
pen to him last wk. when he went & had
fine steer to lay down and die on his
hands of some ailment which Slime
diddent know.
This steer which passed away to that
bourne whence no steer ever returneth,
was one of two steers which Sim was
a going to make yoke of oxes out of.
In fackt he had been training them
some to drive together. They was
matched UP well, but now alas, only one
is left
Slime says if ennybuddy will sell him
q steer to match the one which is left
he will pay a good price for same. If
YOU have a steer of this descripshion see
Slime at olct
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
EDDYTORIULS IN BREEF
FORM (FOR A CHANGEl

Not long sinst copy of City
newspaper fell into our hands by
mistake and whilst we was peroos-
ing the same we notised that the
edditor of this City paper instid
lof dashing off a long & Termed ed
dytoriul on one partickler subiecl1
like we do in the Boogle every
wk, had instid quite a col1eck-
shion of breef eddytoriu1 squibs in
his eddytoriul collum.
This give us a idee that praps
it would be jest as well if we
tride the same skerne in the Bugle
for change jest to see how it
went for say a wk or so & then if
it diddent went we'll why of course
we will go back to the old way
agin. We don't perpose to let emmy
City paper git ahead of the Bugle
and if City papers can afford to
have whole passel of little eddy
toriul squibs in their eddytoriul
referd to as folders
/ Let us know how you like this
change in the eddytoriul policy Of
the Bugle and hereafter we will
govern ourself according. How
ever, here be the eddytoriul squibs
referd to as folders:
You can lead a boss to worter,
but if the crick happens to be dry
after you git there its a turrible
Disappointment for the boss.
Somebuddy has said that time &
tide waits for no man. We don't
know nothin about tide being as
Bingville is lokated so far from
the oshean (& sometimes we have
our doubts there is SIGH a thing as
a oshean or not and we wont be
shure of it until we see one) but
as for time, the way Bingville
folks does when time refuses to
wait for EN-, is to stop the clock
until they ketch up.
The person who cuts off his
nose to spite his Ease disfggers
his countenance.
i A bird in the hand is worth two
on the roost perviding the hen
house door is open.
It amt no use to cry over split
milk-the only thing you can do
is to grab the milkpail when you
see the old COW begin to hist, be-
ing as a ounce of pervenshion is
worth a gal of milk on the ground.
How do you like them kind of
eddytoriu1s for a change, heys We
thort them all UP jest as we went
along without no speshial mental
effort to speak of a tall and yet
I'VE persoom that our average igno-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Postal Cards Have ArToVe

Eph Higgins our accommodating P.
M. of the Bingville P. o. wishes us to a
nounce to the genl publick that he has
jest received spesf1ial from the U. S.
Government at Washington a fresh sup
ply of postal cards after being outen
postal cards in the Bingville P. 0. for
several wks.
Eph says he anticipates that when you
read this a uouncement there will be a
turrib1e big rush for these postal cards
by patrons of the offs. In order that
these postal cards may last as long as
possibil and go around amongst them as
desires same, Eph says that until fur
Their notis he will sell EN- for two cts.
each instid of the regular price of ct.
each This will give everybody a fair
chanst. Eph says if he asked only one
CT each for these cards they would all
be gone in no time and then he would
only haft to send for some more.
Call on Eph and lay in few of these
postal cards before they are all picked
over and the choicest ones gone.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
Spring Pome by Sally

1t Is with considerable pride &
pleasure that we persent herewith a
beautiful pome entitled, 20 JOY
SPRING IS MOST HERE!" by Miss
Sally Hoskins our beautiful poet wri-
ter which Sally has wrote exclusively
for the Bugle and presented to us for
publicashion with her compliments.
The poetick fire of jenus burns in
.Sal1y's buzzum. On more than one
occasflion Sally. has had PONIES print
ed in the co seat papers & she enjoys
big reputashion as a poet writer in
Bingville & vicinity. However here
is the pome-judge for yourself:
o JOY SPRING IS MOST HERE!
AS set waiting for my lover last evg,
I heerd robin sing;
Then I says to myself:
my goodness-it's almost spring."
Ime glad the winter is over
Yes, line just as glad as I can be
No more snow & ice & cold
Nobuddy is gladden. me.
It wont be long till the grass shoots
will be shooting
& the bees will be bizzing around
& the mayflours & johnnie-jum-pups
Will be growing outen the ground.
o for the genti1 spring zeffers b
To cool my feverd brow
As I merrily trip through the medder
To milk our ole roam cowl
AS for me I've had enuf of winter
& I guess you have also had too,
Therefore lett glad sspringtime arrive
Which it cant too soon for me & you.
(MISS) SALLY HOSKINS.
Bingvil1e.
IMPORTANT NOTIS-County seat
papers please coppy-S. H.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13

runt subscriber will find consider
able food for thort in every one of
EN- and possibly there will be some
which he cant understand a tall.
In that case if you will call at this
office we will take great pleasure
in explaining to you what they
mean.
READ THE BUGLE. FOR
THE LATEST STYLE OF ED
DYTORIULS LIKE TIL E Y
HAVE IN THE CITY PA
PERSi
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
LOkaI Squibs

Lem Gookins has notifide Polly Skin
ner his next door naber that if she
| wants to see her ole tomcat alive agir
shed better keep him in mites becus Lem
says next time that cat perches on his
| back fence & hol1ers all night long il
will git charge of shot in its vitals.
Don't let these Mise warm days which
we have had lately indooce you to take
OH your heavy winter wooden underwear
and put on lighter and don't be so fool
ish as to go and have your hair cut jest
becuz your hairs long & the wether feels
warm. If you do your liable to ketch
your deth of cold. A word from the
wise is suffishent.
>. Ras S1ocomb says he ca1kilates we be
going to have a fairly early spring this
spring. We agree with Ras like emmy
buddy else who had lick of common
sense would. When Ras perdicks about
the wether he allus waits until it ar
rives' before he perdicks, then hes shure
to hit it.
Mrs. Anne Hil1yer says her kitchen
stove smokes somethink awful Praps its
got rats nest or somethink in the stove
funnel. If Anne was emmy good he'd find
out i1stid of settin down to Hen Wealth
ersbys store all day long playin chek-
kers.
Roomer has it that Phoebe FIi1der-
brand, our fashionable dressmaker Is
maxim another dress for Miss Amelia
Tucker, Bingvilles sossiety queen to
splurge around in. Our wife informs US
that it amt only been a few months
sinst Amelia had a new dress made and
here she is havinl< another one made
Our wife thinks this is awful extrava-
giants and that the money Amelia Tuck
er spends for clothes might be put to a
better use.
Hank Dewberry informs us that he
has hired hisself out to help Amos Tut
tie harvest down Snake Bend way next
fall, but Hank sage he'll take odd jobs
for few days at a time here and there
until next fall arrives. All Hank wants
is to ern enuff to keep him in tobacko.
Bill Hepburn our artistick blacksmith
diddent go to the CO. seat and git full as
Bill staid at home and got full. We
persoom he got full on what he had left
over from his spree the week before.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13
FeIon on Jake'S Thumb

Jake Winslow wishes us to a nounce
in the columns of the Bugle that he has
a felon on his thumb.
Jake says if there is emmy orkarder
place for a person to have a felon on
than jest on their thumb he'd like mighty
well to know where it is being as he
says he cant move that hand which the
felon is on without knockin it agin some
think and when he does that he lays to
and swears like a pyerate.
Jake says poor man as he is he'd ruth
er jest pay out a ten dollar bill than to
have a felon on his thumb and he
wouldn't want a snake to have SIGH a
afflickshion on its thumb or ennywhere
else.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-03-13

horses and sweeping out at s. per wk.
and found.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06
WORKOUT OLD BUILDINGS
Dismal and Dangerous, They Can Be
Transformed by Some Paint
and Energy.

Doesn't 1t make something In you
ache ~when you pass building. resi-
dence or business property, that looks
like 1t had weathered the blasts and
reflected the suns of fifty or more
fieeting seasons? There are splotches
and blotches all over H.. the shingles
or pieces Of the roofing often curl up
at the ends like crank reformer's
hair. neglect seems to have covered 1t
with frayed and tattered mantle; the
doors sag, and the windows wink at
you with bleary indifference. And
people live in them; 1t Is not living;
1t Is existing, and a very poor sort of
existence at that. No one can do bust
ness In such place. Such building
reminds one Of ragged beggar seek
ing for job. A little work, little
energy, little paint will transform
one of these places into habitation fit
for human dwelling. or make the for
mer decrepitude and decay give place
to inviting brightness In Sks case Of
business room.
Clean up and paint up. Paint de-
stroys millions of germs thas irfest
wood. Paint is one of the enemies
with whom the doctor has to contend
Paint Is the doctors rival,
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06
HOUSEHOLD HINTS

Soap should be stored some time be-
fore using in order to get the best
value out of it. Remove wrapper, put
the soap on tin and place in a hot
oven until moist, but be careful not to
leave 1t too long or it will run out of
shape. Remove and place in a cool
spot. In few hours 1t will be found
hard and will last twice as long.
When washing and rinsing colored
materials add teaspoonful of epson
salts to each gallon of water, and even
the most delicate shades will neither
fade nor run.
To remove slime from sponges,
thoroughly soak them in salt water
and then rinse in clear water. after
ward allowing them to dry In the air.
When q box OF sardines is opened IL
should be drained of it's oil at once
and the fish turned out.
A pretty way to serve hot biscuits
Is folded In napkin on a sweetgrass
basket with handle
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06
WHEN CLEANING THE HOUSE
Renovation Of Furniture and Wood
work 10 One Of the Most Impor.
tant Considerations. .

Housecleaning is here. We hear
the sound of rug beating, see windows
devoid of their hangings, come upon
evidences every day that the annual
cleaning period Is under way.
OF course all furniture must be thor.
oughly gone over at this time. Fur.
allure, like other woodwork, tends to
shrink II 1t becomes too dry, and
should be washed for the sake Of mois.
ture as well as of cleanliness. Hence
furniture, besides being cleaned when
necessary with suitable cleaning com
pounds, should be sponged occasion
ally with clear water and wiped dry.
But do not use soap or washing pow.
ders on painted or vanished furniture
Remove dirt, dust and stains with
other cleansing agents and rinse by
sponging with clear water. Wipe dry,
oil and polish. Detergents recommend
ed for cleaning furniture, removing
finger marks, white spots and stains
are olive, sweet, linseed, paraffin and
other oils; whiting, fuller's earth, cold
tea, kerosene. turpentine, soda, es.
sence of peppermint, camphor, as.
phaltum. vinegar. various acids and
combinations OF these.
To wash furniture, use large
sponge, wipe dry as possible with a
chamois skin wrung out of clear wa
ter, or with soft flannel cloth. Do
not use dry channels on vanished
wood or polished surfaces. Wipe al
ways In one direction. preferably with
the grain of the wood.
Wash carved wood with a stiff hair
paintbrush dipped In clear water.
Or wash with cold tea applied with
sponge or brush, wipe dry, oil and
polish.
To keep polished or vanished furni.
ture in good order, each article should
be gone over lightly once a week on
cleaning day with clear hot (not boil
ing) water without soap. or with cold
tea or any other suitable cleanser.
Or, II there Is not time for this,
after busting the furniture rub it over
with cloth moistened with kerosene,
turpentine. cold tea or cold-drawn lin
seed oil, or with mixture OF equal
parts Of these. This practice will as.
sist in keeping 1t in good order.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06
Plea for Shade Trees.

Shade trees are rapidly dying out in
many Of our streets: this is frankly
admitted by civic officials. For years
past spasmodic efforts have been
made for better care of the trees
generally. but little of practical na.
ture has been achieved. One cause
for this is the meager amount an
nually voted for tree culture. care and
planting. This city spends less on such
work than any other OF its size on the
continent. In many OF the big United
States. cities the Importance OF max
ing streets attractive. by the planting
of shade trees, lis demonstrated by
their appointing special commissions
who have sole charge OF this branch
OF the civic service. The results thus
obtained have been most satisfactory.
Montreal Star.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06
Raised Oouuhnuts.

One yeast cake, one cupful luke.
warm milk. two tablespoonfuls luke.
warm water, 21a pints sifted -four, one.
half teaspoonful nutmeg, two eggs, IL
tablespoonful butter, one cupful
graduated sugar and one-half tea
spoonful salt. Dissolve yeast In luke,
warm water. To this add the milk and
one pint Of flour to make sponge. Set
aside in warm place for one hour OF
more, until bubbles rise to the surface
When well risen add butter and sugar
well mixed: salt, nutmeg. eggs well
beaten and remainder of -four, IL
picts, to make soft dough.
Knead thoroughly, but keep soft
Set in warm place to rise again
Should be light in IL hours. When
light, roll out to one-Quarter-inch thick
ness on well-foured board and Gu,
with docghnut cutter. Set to rise
again until light, and then drop into
boiling fat. Makes about three dozen
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06

table Compound, and now | feel like
different person. / believe there is
nothing like Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound for weak women and
young girls, and / would be glad if |
could influence anyone to try the medi-
cine, for know it will do all and much
more than it is claimed to do. - Mrs.
CLARA FRANKS, r. F. D. No. /, Maple
crest Farm, Kasuta, Mimi.
Women who sLffer from those dis
tressing ills peculiar to their sex should
be convinced of the ability of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound to re-
store their health by the many genuine
and truthful testimonials We are con-
stantly publishing in the newspapers.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound will help you,write
to Lydia II. PinkhamM edicine Co.
(confidential) Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1915-05-06
Hammond TO Speak at colersine.

Dulath.-~-George d. Mccarthy of Du-
iuth, secretary OF the Northern Min
nesota Development association. has
issued the program for the conference
on development that the association
Will hold at coleraine on June 10 and
IL, Governor Hammond and State
Auditor Preus will he among the speak.
ers, the governor subject being
Minnesota Development, and that
OF the state auditor, THE State Lands
OF Minnesota"
On the second day, the members OF
the legislature, who will then be tour,
ing Northern Minnesota. will attend
the sessions.
Other speakers will be: Miss Mabel
Carney, state inspector. teachers
training department.. st. Paul; c. NJ
King, Deer River. b, +. Faast Eau
Claire, Wis; u. III. MeGarry. Walker.
Mimi; Otto l., Bersh. superintendent
North Central experiment station.
Grand Rapids, Miun.; John Moonan.
Waseca, Mimi. aud c. r., Middleton.
Raudette. MINI.
Extensive entertainment has been
planned for the visitors,