davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
.ROTAR|ANS WANT GREAT
CROWD OUT TUESDAY
Live business HustIerS Urging Store
Owners 10 Close Up Shop and
Attend First Game.
GOVERNOR TO TOSS FIRST BALL
Opening OF the Local International
Season With Toronto Will he
Made Gala Day-BraSs Baud 10
Enliren Spirits of Spectators.

All aboard Tor BROAD street Park -
VITA this slogan the Rotary club
committee is WORKING 10 make the
opening OF the lntc.uationa! LEAGUE
season In Nchmoud the biggest sport
! big day is next Tuesday. and the time
= o'clock Don; forget it,
Business concerns throughout the
city are following out the suggestion
OF the COMMITTEES that they oSc for at
least par, OF the day. By tting their
employees OFF at o'clock. they Will
/ have plenty of tim" 10 Set home and
dress ana reach tn" park before the
nrst ball is sent whistliug across the
pintr
The early closing. They are: Tower
s|inford Electric Company. fowerS-Tay-
lor Drug Company. southern stamp and
stationary Company, smith Courtney
panyl Many others had previously
nsteed ana II is eNrected mat the com
business houses TO fan i'll line.
IL Will he big occasion at the local
park. There VIII b" band on hand
so w be- Ss' n SrSTS hn% o the n0 spce
tatorS. governor Henry Carter Stuart
l'a,x, consented TO throw out the first
ON hand TO help i'm the festivities Jack
Dunn promises that he will beat To-
fomi" or die In the attempt
Dunn is not the least worried over
me poor showing made by the local
intS while on the trip to the Carolinas.
IN fact. no Is rather glad that he got n
line on some of the men before the
season opened. On the home grounds
in the early training season many eS-
cuS"s We're made FOR poor playing hut
after the men limbered up ana got
Gown 10 actual work: the lack OF class
Was easily seen. Then, too. il was
easier TO drop the men on IL trip than
II was while they wcro on the home
Er@unds.
Tho squad OF PLAYERS brought here bv
Dunn was only a makcshift. as he
plainly said ut the start. lie had TO
nave enough men TO get two teams on
the field and as he was depending on
the big leagues TO furnish the larger
part OF his team he naturally picked up
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
WITH BASES CLOCCED,
ARACON HITS HOMER
"Ints'" New Shortstop Duplicates
Performance in Fifth Frame,
With Two Men On.
BRECKENRlDE GETS HOMER
Raleigh Team, Which Opens Carolina
League To-day. Is Given a Severe
Drubbing by Duunites-Russcli
Twirled in Splendid Form.

RALEIGH. y. G.. April I.--Richmoud
gave Raleigh an awful drubhiue on
The eve OF the opening of the Carolina
i.eaEue season in which the Mackmen
ot Raleigh are hoping to he pcnnant
WINNERS. Tn" score WAS II to j. and
only seven innings were played but
~ was an hour and iifty-iiv minutes
OF play
Aragon hit for home run with the
bases cloEsed in the third inning. and
with two men OF bases lsrrclcnridue
also hit The pill for the circuit
While Russell was hit for two horn-
crs; ne was especially tight in pinches
and held the locals safe AZ all stn,rcs
Mack and Pool got one home run each
for Raleigh. Newman squeezed in the
only other run for Raleigh in the sew
enth inning. The score:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
SMlTHDEALS WIN GAME

Smithdeal business College baseball
team won nm interesting game from
Richmond Academy yesterday after
noon by the score OF 10 to Il, at Leo
Park. Mark Benton laid a corking sin
gle to left field, scoring Lawrence and
broke UP an elevcn-inninE game.
The Academy team played we'll
throughout the game. but was out
battcd by the Smithdealians. who Sc
cured total OF twenty-five hits, one
OF them a home run.
Seibcrt. Buchcr and Anderson pitched
for the Smithdeallans, and Burton did
the receiving, while Shacklcford and
Binford did the twirl!ng for the .Acad-
emy with O. kuyk wearing the pads
The Smithdcal boys showed n great
deal OF Improvement in their team work
over their last performance, and with
n little more practice should devotion
into one OF the strongest aggregations
In the city.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
NICHOLSON SCHOOL WINS
GAME FROM JEFFERSON
Raymond Cole Hit for Three Shncks,
with Bases Ful1-Lcrlie Rogers
Mnkch Pretty Cntch.

10 to .. In their game Tuesday after
noon at the c. &. a. Tho jefferson
boys were strong in the last three In
but Glenn, for Nicholson. had them at
his mercy for tho first six innings
Jefferson led at the bat, making eight
their hits wero scattered, and n num-
Der of their players were left on the
bases. Glenn, Rogers. G Bishop, Kel-
ley. Cole and NJ. Bishop carried Off the
batting honors for Nicholson. Ray
mond Cole landed for n three Dagger
In the first inning, with the bases full,
Tho fielding feature or the game was q
running, one-hand catch of n line ball
by Leslie Rogers, first baseman for
Nicholson
Score by innings: r. H.
Nicholson ..5 0 10
j eff crSon " o O o o. % = 3 &
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

THRILLING MILE RACE
WITNESSED ON JAMES
Eight Dared Crew Win From RyIand;
! FOur-Oarcd Gig by Margin OF
Less ThRn One Length.

a thrilling milo race was witnessed
on the james on Tuesday afternoon.
When an eight Dared crew coxed by
EDshur, defeated Ryland's fast fiyinir
lour-oared gig by the narrow mnrgnin
or half II length.
shell. got his boat away to n good
the bridge, sometimes there being omen
water between the two racing ora n
however, at tho bridge, Upsur's men
Spurted, and with Stroke Tyler raising
the stroke TO thlrty-seven, they passed
their opponents and nosed them out in
the final stretch.
several new men were in tho eight
cared shell. and they acquitted them
several OF tho old Veterans in tho boot
notably "Lum" Wexford and Dorsnv
Tyler. and the hearty way in which
they pulled their oar through tho
water STU showed there was plenty
were seated as follows:
Eight-oarcd shcli-Roy On, Kcene
81, Mason, (3). Williams (4), Splitting
90. Atwell 60. Wexford q, TYLER.
stroke: Cpshur. coxswain.
Four-oared shell--Walthau az.
PlunRet CD, Calls CD, Forrest, strok g:
Ryland, coXswain.
evening or SO. Coach Van Vliet when
he arrives next week will have little
difficulty in instilling into his men tho
GOODNESS and clcarheadedness which Is
essential in every race. The men all
realize that inside OF Il month they will
be Ditted against most formidable op-
ponents, and they are striving eagerly
them AZ competent and we'll trained
OurSmeu.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
NATIONAL. LEAGUE
ph,ll,e. Win Sixth straight.

NEW YONK, ApfIl 2l.-TNe PhllR-
Of their series with New YORK. win
Iiue the fourth game to-day. 10 !.
81 was the sixth straight victory for
Inilaaslphia. ana the htth con9ecu-
lrus George chalmers. VINO won't
South With the New York team This
.p:iu@ and was permitted to sign YES
;crHay with philadelphia pitched
AGAINST his training camp associates.
aud held them 10 two singles. Cfavnth
broke up Permits game i'm the third
uil
score BY innings; RI q
Philadelphia ...to4O 0 . o 81 3
New York ......I % o 0 900 q OIL > 2
Observation-Disclosures ana Klil!fcr;
Jcrr!tt. FroInmc ana Smith.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
cluster Springs Win. Cumc

ROANOKE, VA. April 2l.-ACluster
High School team hero to-day by tho
score OF s to 4 by timely hitting. Tho
Academy boys scored five of their runs
in the sixth and seventh innings after
two men were down.
Chapman, for Cluster, struck out
Thomas. for Roanoke. famed nine and
walked two.
Score by innings: r. H. +
Roanoke OH 600 o. :
Batteries: Cluster. Chapman and c.
Thompson; Roanoke, Thomas and Mel
son.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
AMERICAN LEAGUE.


WASHINGTON, April 2l.-Bunched
miits' bases on balls and errors eave
Washington II 10 ? victory to-day In
the last game OF the series with Ros-
ton. Collins was wild and Ineffective
In SIN innings. and Comstock. who re-
!lcNcu him was no Improvement MI
IAN Dattcd Il home run with one on
base; Lewis hit ono with the bases
empty.
;, score by Innings: RHE
Boston 1910 D 600 o1 O.
washington % . 90 OIL q
attcrics-Collins. Co!nstock and
,G;arriGan; Haley. Bochl!ng and WI
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
Tigers Win in Ninth

DETROIT, MICH. April oI.-Rally!ng
~ u" eighth and ninth innings tho
day. 4 TO 3, and made clean sweep %,
mo fonr-Eamo series. Russell was In
yinciblo until the eighth. When Tho
bttroN half OF that inning began lem
NlngSS men were three runs behind
= triple by Bush, Younr's inAeld. on,
ana doubles 10y Cobb and Crawford pro-
HNccd two runs. Three singles. an error
runs
Score by innings: R.H.E
T,hicaFo ........ & @ oil Ga 6
Detroit ........0 o OO022-4 II .
Eattcries-Russ Fah.r and Schalk
reynolds, Boehierand Baker, Mckee.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

TIiILApEIrHlA. April 2I.-Kalph H.
EroftS, or New York national afnhtour
ii,lehuldcv. aud IL y. Richardson a.
Dover. Del, uci for FIRST place yin,
In nreal<s in l75 targets each in liz
opening events % the eighth annual
league hero Today.
SPOTS won the Keystone introduc-
tory handicap with seventy four breaks
3n sevcnty-lve tarEcth Richardson
won the Phil s. DUPONT trophy with
RinetY-NEht gut Of O possible 34e,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

ClNCiNNATI April 2i.-Icachs sin
Gle ms steal OF second, An out by Her
2oE and sacrifice fly by killifcr that
scored Leach proved the deciding fac
tor iU to-day's game with 81 Louis. In
nsmUch rs rain stopped tho contest in
The Ntth inning Win the score to .
In 'iuclnnaN's favor. Eutu r!tCbcrs
NTcv" tn good form
score i3y Innings: RHE
81 Louis ...........GO q % 2 q
Cincinnati .........l roox-l > o
'Ca!led on account OF rain)
iiatiries--GrineT and Snydcr; Ancs
and Clarke
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

. 7. - y i-.I-f II II, III, ANfiI IL
New York got only five hits OFF Bress
Ter ana Harper today. but three Of
those we're doubles. ana ali o., the extra
and an error, and tho visitors Won 3
TO Fisher Vas In grand form and
lWns given splendid support After
itfeSsi"r gave three passes III III. third
inning, Cook cleared Tho sacks wt,I
double ana scored on Boouc's double
Dl"rrg made wonderful orc-hard
le3plng eaten wh'ch robbed Maiscl Of
Score ~ innings: " II r
Now York 2sno10bo-s
fnilan"lrh!a 80 600 90
i'ttfcr3cS-F Fisher and Nuncrnaker.
ifcSs!cr Harper ard Mchvoy.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
CAROLINA N|ALLOPS
CADETS At LEXINGTON
Currier Was InvincibIe With Men ON
Bases, Though Touched for
Eight Hits.
J. PITTS RELIEVED BUCHER
Neither of the v. NJ. I. Twirlers
Showed Form, and Carolina Had
Walk-Away, being Assisted by
Six Errors.

LEXINGTON. VA. April 21.-Vir-
slnia Military Institute lost to the Uni
Nefsity OF North Carolint here to-day
oE the score of II to o. Currier pitched
great game, being nvincible with
men on bases. Bucher was found for
I'VE runs In tho third when he retired
in favor of Pitts. who Jared little bet
ter The entire Carolina team hit hard
ana timely. Tho score:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
DOWN THE ALLEYS

No extra high scores wcrs mado in
the Palace iive-game singles tourney
yesterday, but there were 4 number
of spectators present TO watch the work
OF tho individuals. The scores did not
cause any change in the standing OF
tho leaders:
Glass II.
Total.
Rudd ......ls4 1873 1853 ego 144-s7e
a. NJ. Smith ..l76 1873 IA Ii2 12G-72l
Clusn {.
Total.
bowman .....15o 14e 1863 167 1915
Brown .......lji lT5 l6G Pill l4l-S47
Woodbridge ....ll0 lO7 80 122 1li-54s
Schedule for To-day.
l oclocE-W. Krause and Liebs
5 o'c!ock-Tompkins and Cooper;
Harper and Tyler.
oClock-Steward and v. williams,
Bell and :. l.. Smith. Al. Davis and
Beardslcy: Dcasy and Burnett.
On the Newport Alleys.
The Cooks and Tip Tops will meet
tonight on the New Port Alleys in tho
Greater Richmond bowling league tour
namcnt, and tomorrow night the
Bunnys and Superiors viii battle.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
VIRGINIA LEAGUE TEAMS
PLAY FIRST GAME TO-DAY
President BoatwriEht Very Optimis-
tic Over Outlook. and Predicts
Successful Season.
FANS no VISIT PETERSBURG
Local Lovers of Game VIII Go Over
and Witness the Rocky Mount
Goohers Contest This Afternoon.
Norfolk Team l. Badly Crippled.

Tho 1915 season Of tho Virginia
Icsc Will open to-day. til" initial
games beuCj stHEcdt I'm Petersburg.
Norfolk and Newport News and while
Richnoud has been transferred 70 the
The fans OF this city will sun take n
deep interest in the graudstamd at
Petersburg This afternoon from 'aCh-
they Will give their support to the
feam lead By 'li-iuc' Eusch. though
Manager Ray ltsau ~ the Rocky
Mount team Viii receive tn. glad hand.
Reports from tn" jnrce upcm!nS Ci-
ties last might were very uptomIStic.
ana President BoutwriEht feels that
IN. league has = successful season,
'1lnaucially, before IL.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

summary: Two-base hits-Zollicofrer
Hart Bruce. Three base hits--Honig
Pope Double plays--Gcllispie to
Schon to Malone. Base on balIs-ofr
Bucher, l: off Pitts. 5. Left on bases-
Carolina. .; Cadets. II. Hit by pitched
balls-Hamlin. liits-off Bucher. In
3 innings: off Pitts. 13 In innings: off
Curricr, in inningS-off Games / In
/ inning. Struck out-by Pitts, 4: by
Currier, 10: by Games l. Wild pitches
and Lee University.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

The third Mcclure team defeated
Stonewall Jackson in n fast game of
by tho score OF to 8. The features
OF the contest were the playing OF
Marye and Horslcy FOR McGuire's. and
Pearman and Watkins for tho gram
mar school lads
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
HhMPDEN- SIDNEY PLAYS
SPIDERS HERE SATURDAY

richmond College VIII rlny IInnr
dcnS Sidney on SATURDAY nfirrHon,,
- c!ocR on tho college prouHdr in WIN,
~ expected TO be ono Of the fa.,cs,
lines or inc seaaon. Tho Tigers hn-a
FOCAL coilcgians Will have 10 be In rocd
'orm 10 stop them. Coach Dobron q
dhY for tho contest, and The Snid.rs g ~
N"ot 10 put w game night for nrst
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

al ~ IS, Apr!l 2l.-'r!mcly hitting
- ,b9us to-day, to ]. The game wa
caii"h ~ u" cmd Of the SIXTH inning
~ i'fMlf '."vclnrd 10 catch :. train
~ ,h@ i"Hitn inning, whiln chasing n
ioni' S"N@f"la crashed into tho stand
AnH was knocked unconscious Acneyy
Score hy Innings: n ~ r
CLEVELAND l0oono
ST. Louis ONoTno -
batteries Stecn and OXEN; Ja,oe,
iciTylhan ana ~cV"rOid spDcw
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
Totals ............31 40 II
Raleigh.
Totals ............2I 3 I 81
Stated for Yon In third.
tEatted for GettingS in seventh

Richmond go. o4o-l4
Raleigh 100000 FL =
summary: Two-basc hitS-l.on.
Schuyler. Home runs-Ara.on ,ol
Erecll enridgc Mack, Pool Sacrifice
hits-Mclnnis, Mack. Stolen bases
on balls-OY Russell, 9 off Yon. 5: off
Gettings, 4. Struck out--By Russell
4: by Yon, 4: by Gettings. 3. Hit BY
approximations Yon, in 3 i9rinCs;
off Ceilings 3 In innings Double
plays-LonG. Dunn and McInnis Left
on bases-luchmond. 6; Raleigh. I. Um-
pire. Myers. Time, :55.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
Builders Plnn Mig Day.

NEWPORT NEWS. VA April 2l.-
Weather conditions permitting, New
port News VIII tomorrow see one OF
The biggest baseball days in It's his
tory. In addition TO the usual prcten-
1ious opening ceremonies, the occasion
will lie lent the usual attraction of
]nVinI foreign warship commander
and his STAFF, q. United states senator
end other notables In attendance. Cap
tain Thierfelder ana members OF his
staff o: the German auxiliary cruiser
EronprinZ Wilhelm. to-day accepted
invitations 10 attend.
Senator Thomas :. Martin also VIII
attend. being the guest OF collector OF
customs Normap :R. fiamilton
More than ..l,0Qo suffolk fans are cx-
l.cted 10 accompany their team here
nnd witness the first game 10 he played
~ club IN the Nrgini2; l; Gag. REP
fans from the lower peninsula likewise
ere expected. and these ContingcntS,
with the Newport News people. are cX-
Icctcd 10 overfo" tn" park
Manager Carucs has gotten together
:, likely crowd Of bal! players. ana as
suffolk is represented by u strong Az
;-regation. there IS little TO choose be
tween tho two clubs.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
STANDING OF TEAMS.

New York Mt brooklyn.
Cincinnati Mt Pittsburgh.
Boston ut Philadelphia.
Chicago at st. Louis.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
Meadows Defeats n,vn,

:, hALT iMpltE. MD. Aprl oi--Rrb.
Mca"9~s defeated his OLD rival Mount
~ MArNS College to-day, allowing
Two hts. striking out soyon. sLa leads
in4 hla team In batting,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
LEAGUE RESULTS

YESTERDAYS GAMES.
Washington, II; boston, 3.
Ncw York, =; Philadelphia, o.
nctrOtf, 1; Chicago. 2.
Cleveland, 3; 81. Louis, 1.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
BASEBALL STATISTICS
NATIONAL LEAGUE RESULTS

YESTERDAYS GAMES,
brooklyn, 81 Boston, 4.
Philadelphia, q, New York, I.
Cincinnati. II st. Louis, q.
ChicaEo-PittsburS rain.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
STANDING OF TEAMS.

WHERE THEY PLAY TODAY.
st. Louis Mt Chicngo.
Detroit mt Cleveland.
Washington AT New York
Philadelphia Mt Boston
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22

PETERSEN RG, y A. April -t.--Iho
Virginia state League opens I'm Peters
burg tomorrow with Rocky Mount.
and il the weather permits rrcurd-
breaking crowd Will b. present TO Wit
ness the initial contest
Manager Busch REPORTS his team 10
be in prime condition. and eager for
the fray. While MS team has only
played two exhibition games. both OF
which II won. the members have pyac-
ticed faithfully, al,d their work has
hecu watched ana commented on by
most OF the fans In the city. and the
conclusion reached That Petersburg will
make the other teams hustle 10 secure
The remnant.
The usual parade through the rrin-
ciple streets headed by II band, viii
he the signal that tho opening OF the
Virginia League is n fact, ana the fans
viii welcome tho music ana the sight
o. the uniformed teams as only base
I.ul followers know how TO do.
''Iicinc' has not positively. decided
Mo ne, VIII be in ne box for the home
That either Rice or Iirsch will be on
The mound when the umpire calls play
bali with HudEins or Tee rs receiving
1mate; Busch, shortstop; Gross. nrst
base; A-new, second base; Cauld.r.
7Aird base; BluckSton, left field. Dono-
Nan. center field; simmons, right field.
pcrkinSon's Park has been put In
with the exception OF left neld, are
IN, equal OF any in the state.
To add to the interest. ii is learned
that Rocky Mount VIII hc accompanied
by between 300 and 400 fans from that
city. who will cheer their team on to
victory If roofing VIII win a game.
brass Bands ut Norfolk.
NORFOLK, "a, April 2i,-- Brass
,'he opening of the Virginia state
J League here tomorrow afternoon, when
The initial game OF the season takes
place at League Park, between Norfolk
and Portsmouth. Several temporary
changes have been made In the local
lean, owing to the crippled condition
~ Manager Mcmahon, and the relative
strength OF the two mines, Is somewhat
81 matter OF doubt, Portsmouth having
q nearly new aggregation
President BoatwriEht. who was in
Norfolk to-day, assigning umpircS IS
optimistic as TO the lal5 baseball sea-
son in Virginia lie belives that the
rev arrangement OF cities. with re-
duction Of railroad fares. will mate
rally strengthen the league financially
and that indications are for i Very
successful season.
Humphries, the lett-handcd star of
last year, viii pitch tomorrow for
Norfolk. being opposed by either Nc.
oleory OF Welcher. \ record breaking
attendance Is prophcs!ed.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-04-22
FEDERAL LEAGUE RESULTS
NEsrEnnAN,s GAMEs

Pittsburgh, .; Kansas City, 4.
Newark, >; Brooklyn. 3.
buffalo, =; baltimore, 4.
No other game scheduled.
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
noLp1NG Ir ovER nIM.

Il shouldn't care to be the wife OF
a man who never smoked"
We'll. &C is comfortable 10 sec ones
husband sitting down after dinner to
enjoy his cigar and then there is
something rather soothing about the
aroma of a good cigar, too"
"Oh, don't care anything about tho
comfort of 1t or the aroma; but as
long as my husband smokes. n will
always be so easy 10 tell him how TO
begin when he insists that we have got
20 cconomlze."
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
THE oNE THINa LrFr.

THE ONE THING LEFT.
A British Army exam
iner had before him a stu
pid candidate. The man
proving, apparently. una
BILE TO answer the most
simple questions, the ex-
sminer finally grew impa-
tient, and in a burst OF
sarcasm demanded:
Now, let It be supposed,
Sir, that you were a cap
tain in command of infan-
try; that in your rear was
an impassable abyss; that
on both sides OF you there
rose perpendicular rocks
OF tremendous height; that
in front OF you lay the
enemy. outnumbering you
ten to one. What, sir, In
such an emergency. would
you do7"
We'll, Sir" replied the
applicant for military dis
tinction, Il should resign,
Sir"
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
THE PINK OF PER-
FICTION.

"Will you have some OF
my sugared almonds,
nuntio dear?" asked tho
dear little girl.
Certainly. darlln &.
Which shall I take--the
pink or the white?"
whichever you like,
auntie."
Auntio selected tn e
white. She knew that
white needed no artificial
colorine. and she was very
particular about what sho
ate. SO she took the
white. She ate some. and
then the dear little girl
came back.
"Auntio." she said. "Ill
bet you don't know what
is the difference between
the pink and the white all
monds."
why, do you mean the
color?"
"Yes."
what is the difference ?
I'm suro don't know"
said auntie piayfully. It's
always SO amusing 20 the
young when their grown
ups confess ignorance.
And they are so glad to be
OF any assistance, as far
as imparting information.
Auntie was Of that oblig-
ing kind.
well, I'll tell you the
diiforenco, IL you really
don't know. They were
all pink at first but ]
sucked the pink of tho
white ones. Didn't it come
on nice?"
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
WE'LL QUALIFIED.

81 wish to so to the
front"
"Have you had any ex-
perionce nursing?"
"Oh, yes. once took
the part Of a nurse in a
college play"
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
A HOT ONE.

Bridget - "Shure an
ON not be discharged.
You'll have to give me two
weeks notice"
Lady OF the House
Then I'll have you arrest.
ed for collecting money
under false pretenses. Yol
represented yourself 70 m,
as a cook"
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
LOVE CAN TELL.

Daughter-I'm not at
home to that gentleman,
Jane.
Mother (protesting) -
You haven't seen his card
yet.
Daughter-True: but II
isn't the machine I'm
waiting for. 1 can tell by
the honk.
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

Bangs-Jones says his
wife is q aagrant violator
of the constitution.
Wangs How SO?
Bangs lilo says she is
continually depriving hin,
Of the rieht Of free speech
and the pursuit of life. lib
erty and happiness.
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
Low SPEED.

The Credit Man-"What are the
running expenses OF your business ?"
The Country Customer - well,
business IS so slow we haven't got up
20 running expenses. We have only
fixed charges and standing obliga-
uons7"
Evening journal., 1915-12-07

He--"My dear, would you answer
question that means much TO me, oi
calculated to affect my finances in
material way?"
she-"Well. what is it?"
He-"It is about those summer IN
OF yours. Are they going to be suit
BILE for winter wear or would IL
brutal to suggest such a thing?"
Evening journal., 1915-12-07
OBJECTED TO PAYING
TWICE.

Customer - Look here,
waiter. Eighty cents is an
outrageous price for a por-
ton OF asparagus.
Waiter-Yes. sir, but
you see, sir. we're putting
on a very expensive cab
aret show, and
Customer know all
about the cabaret show.
paid for that with the
soup.