The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1915-01-28
DO We KNOW
OUR TRUE FRIENDS?
LOYALTY OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP Is NOT
POSSESSED BY ONE AND ALL
When We Believe That We Understand a
Person and When the Crucial Test
Happens it is Then Only That We
Know Our True Friends.
By Beau Esprita

! were IdVOreu Win very dDle dis
sertation upon friendship, from the
pen of the editor. His conclusions
were heartily cOncurred in by a
large number of his readers, as
have had occasion to learn since.
1t is not with the intention to add
to or detract from what was then
written that | have selected the
same subject for this article; but ra-
ther for the purpose of enlarging
upon a view of the matter of friend
ships which is very apt to assume
an undue prominence under condi-
tions such as we are placed in here.
When men are thrown together
in any unusual environment it is
but natural that quick friendships
and enmities should be formed.
Under such conditions, when the
normal habits and procedures of the
individual are arbitrarily altered or
completely changed, 1t is not unus-
ual for him to select his friends not
SO much on basis of congeniality
such as would govern his actions in
ord nary circumstances, as on
grounds of common interest at the
time. and with little or no thought
for changed conditions or for the
future. In this way persons Of radi-
cally divergent tastes and habits of
life and thought are drawn into
friendships as unstable as they are
unnatural.
1t has been said, and truly, that If
a person is your true friend, no ac-
ton on your part can break the
bond. 1t has also been said, and
equally true, that what you may
have been or done in the past Will
not change the course of true friend
ship. This would seem to cover
the ground completely, but it does
not. II is yet needful to lave a
concise definition of true friendship
Let me attempt such a definition.
Friendship is a bond of mutual
sympathy formed between persons
who are thoroughly informed of one
anothers true nature and DISPOSE
ton, who know one another's faults
as well as virtues with an absolute
knowledge. There is not, and can
not be, any other basis for a true
friendship.
This may seem to be an unreason-
able statement. | know it has been
contended by many able persons
that no man can know his fellow
man absolutely. admit that such
knowledge is not easy to attain.
And yet eXperience-your own eX-
perlence-will prove to you that
without it there can be no true
friendship. Think back to some
person whom you believed to be
your friend, someone with whom yon
were on close terms of intimacy,
with whom you shared what you
had to share, and who you believed
would share with you in like man
ner. You thought you knew him,
you believed in him. you liked him
for the good qualities in him which
you had found, and it was not hard
for you to see the explanation and
the excuse for such faults as he may
have had. Yet when your troubles
came he did not come to your help,
He left you to face 1t alone. He
showed you one quality in himself
which you had not suspected, and
you had TO admit that he was not
your true friend.
Now if you had known be was
unloyal you would never have con-
sidered him your friend. 1t was that
in his nature which you did not
know which broke down the bonds
of your trust and showed you that
he had never been your friend. He
could not have been your friend,
because he had that one quality of
which you did not know. You may
meet him again, and like him for
his good companionship. You may
even, now that you know his lack
of loyalty, rebuild your Old friend
ship for him, if you can find it in
your heart to excuse that fault in
him. But to do this you will have
to keep in mind your knowledge of
his unloyalty, and remember that
his friendship is not of character
to help you in your times of need.
If you can rebuild this shattered
friendship. it must be rebuilt on |