davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16
LITTLE BOBBIE'S PA

Thare was SCIENTIST up to our house
last mite his nuim is Professor Beezer
| think that is funny naim for sien
tist, Beezer, & he looked like funny
sientist, too,& he acted funny.
Wife, sed Pa, l want you to meet
Professor Beezer, he.i is one of my oald
trends. He was telling me down towr
that this erth wich we live on is SLOWLY
Icrumbling away to dust. | newer knew
that beefoar& | thought | wud have
him cum up & explain things to us vile
we are visiting & he sed thare was an
other comet cumming wich seems to be
hedded direck for this erth. Did you
know that2
No, sed Ma, dident know that, but
| know that thare is a storm hedded
this way if you doant git hoam erlel
to yure dinner Bobbie g. l have been
waiting two hours.
Waiting for dinner is good for the di
gestun, sed Pa s friend.
1t may be, but it is wretched for the
temper, sed Ma. So 1 hoap you will
pardon me for speaking up so sharp.
A SCIENTIST will pardon anybody, nc
matter what thay say or do, sed Pa Is
friend. & then he started to eet, I new.
yer saw anybody eet like him, he took
such littel bits Of everything.
[ haven't got much appetite he sed,
am worried about that comet wich we
sientists have observed. The thought
Of it cumming in vilent contack with
this erth is saddening.
Doant let that worry, Prof. sed Pa.
1t wud be better to git hit by a comet
than to starve to deth Dig into the
food. WHARF do you think you are, in
Belgium. Thare is lots moar ware this
cain from, sed Pa.
My father was a vary sparing eeter,
too, sed Ma.
Yes, sed Pa, but he wasent spqring
eeter beekaus he was varied about any
comet He was a sparing eeter beekaus
times was vary hard with him the time
l married you. Tell us about the planet
crumbling away to dust, Prof.
You newer mind about the planet
crumbling away to dust, sed Ma, l want
you to tell the professor that you were
joakng about my father 4 the amount
Of food we had to eet. & | think if
you yure friend want to talk astron.
omy after this you better talk it sum
ware besides ware you have been the
last few hours. If you doant mend yure
habits Ma sed, you will crumble away
to dust-o long time before this planet
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16
A SALEM INTERVIEW
Mr.. Brown Tolls His Expericnce.

u,t d, wa A'4A' MS hNVellOllCe,
IGo following brief acorat Of am In.
ter'icw with salem man several
NGors ago, and It's ,quel viii be read
with keen interest ay every citizen
T. w. Brown farmer 1899 state
street salem SAYS. "oThreo Years of
W,IlWr'ght work m lamp atmosphere
a'sordorel my hIducys. / often had
lameness and soreness across the small
OF my back. When having nm attocIl
heard Of noms Kidney Pills and
Eo, a supply They removed the back.
acne and soreness, together with other
symptoms OF kidney trouble. All !
ISid r,r recommending Doans kidney
llsS when publicly endorsed tbem
before holds good. use them occas.
,ono'ly ION, when | have symptoms of kid.
ney complaint and / never foil I, got
quick relief, Another Of the family
n.y. uaS also used noau's kidney pills for
N,UDeN weaEness and has had the best
Price SOC at all dealers. Don't sim.
ny ask for Mduev remedy v-gnt
uoao 5 Kidney pills-the same that
n mr. Brown had. Foster Mnburn &C.,
Ftopso Buffalo, y. Y. V''
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

does. Do have another glass a ,,,
sherbet, Professor. ''' " '-'
Sherbet is vary nurrisbiDq yj A,
sientist, 4 | doant suppoas, by ne n v,r "
that you knew iced foods are b',tr NJ K, \,
the stummick than warm fooj, 1 L I
doant suppoas you evyer had a ,l,,s
to lern that thare is moar Dlm6r,a
in a pound of stake thauilam
You are rong, deer friend. Vi h
thare is moar nurrishment in gg M
in a pound of stake.
Doant tell me, sed Professor Bstt
But | am telling you, ed "a.
Thare is moar nunisAusn h M 4
stake, sed Pas frend
Thare is moar in the eNMA
l think thare is moMn athiln
in the nurrishment yOutptmM
taking, sed Ma.
After the SCIENTIST went hosn Aai&
ed at Pa about the kind of friends ~
brings to our house,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

In talk to the businessmen of Mount Angel Wednes
day. Senator c. p Bishop made an excellent suggestion
It was that all property who could possibly afford
it spend something ON their property If unable to build
new house then repair remodel an old one or possibly
the lawn and grounds might be fixed up Much of this
work might call for but small outlay but it would aggre
gate large sum and provide work for those who need it,
Nothing could do more to restore confidence and tend to-
ward bringing return of normal business conditions,
and the city would be improved and beauthed as we'll
In short this very practical suggestion means quit think
ing and talking hard times and get busy, and almost
before you realize it there will be only evidences of
prosperity ON every hand
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Lebanon Express: Merely to ascer
tain their habits and customs and about
what it would cost to raise them, Rock
Willis, a Corvallis & Eastern engineer
who runs between Albany and the
Mountain section of Linn county, is
keeping three coons, four minks and
two skunks fur bearing animals of the
bear and weasel family, in a pen at his
home in Albany. AS far as he has
gone in his-experiments, Mr.. Willis is
confident that the raising of these
animals in Oregon could be made a
more profitable business by far than is
the cattle, sheep and hog business.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

The newly appointed members of the board of regents
OF the University of Oregon c. c. Colt president of the
Union Meat Company and prominent commercial club
worker of Portland IT. Is. Mckinney, aumnus of the
university and leading farmer of Baker county are ey
celent selections Both have pledged themselves to take
an active interest in the affairs of the institution. Gov
ernor Wlthycombe is in all his appointments showing a
determination to select clean capable men and in most
instances seems to have succeeded in doing so.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Lots Of people who never had a
chance in the world were so stubborn
that they went ahead and made sue.
cess anyway
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16
WHEAT IS BURNED.

Minneapolis Mimi, April l6-Fire
destroyed 100000 bushels of wheat and
the 100000 Huhn grain elevator here
today
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16
STATE NEWS
< x x y 4 = y y x 4 X y y y !

Hood River News: One of the big
gest parcel post shipments to be
handled by the local post office arrived
last week from Bend, Or, and consist
ed of W. 5. Stanton s complete house
hold goods, the shipment including
everything from trunks to the family
washboard. These articles were wrap
ped separately and made pile nearly
as high as a mans head They were
delivered on R. R. No ..
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Pish.tush utterance in editorial col.
umns Of East Orcgonian; "Pendleton
is building so many new houses the
telephone company cannot keep up
with the pace, Now what do you think
of that for depressed times!"
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16
THE CURBING OF BUSINESS

New York street cleaners have been officially ques-
toned as to what their wives spend for underwear ana
the unfathomable mysteries Of Pullman porter tipping
are being officially explored
The only business which to be thriving without
any stagnatiOn hndrance is that Of official nvestga-
tOn
1t the sofest snap that politicians ever got nto and
promises to grow enormously IN extent just as long as
the public which pays for it in two ways will stand for It,
The public pays not only in the cost of the nvesga-
tOnS but also in the heavy loss through the check OF
legitimate business in many lines
1t is beginning to dawn upon the intellect Of this
blessed country of ours that the worst trouble with bust
ness is due to the overworking of "Beit-enacted"
Speaking the other day of the 62000-odd laws passed
by congress and the state legislatures in the last five
years and the $1,000 reported decisions of courts of last
resort, Elihu Root asked:
How can businessmen possibly know them all so as
to conduct their business and keep out Of jai?"
Who knows what even well meant and wisely framed
law may bring forth under the nursing of official commits
siOns and bureaus?
For instance there is the of the members of the
wire rope pOOP who fined from ST. 900 to $4,000
each for certain acts in violation of law which the
ramer of the BILL Senator Hoar, had advised them they
could do with impunity.
1t has been politically popular to lambast business,
ana so business has been ambasted to the limit And the
more lambasting the less business.
--
story is told that group of men were once debating
as to which OF all the inventions was the greatest The
steam engine the magnetic telegraph the electric MOTOR
the telephone, the wireless the art of printing the per-
ectng press and many others had their champions, but
the debate closed when quiet man suggested that the
man who invented interest laid mortgage on all the rest
remarks Goodwins Weekly. But looking both the world
and all the ages over we disposed to conclude that
the man who first took in the possibilities of baseball was
the greatest of all geniuses With little sphere and
club to make whole community crazy is some feat To
eaten and hold alike old age and caow youth to make
young lady for the moment forsake her sweetheart to
make the silent and shy young man in an instant bold and
garuous; and priest ready to shrve sinner to obtain
front seat and to keep this up year after year-where
can you find such another invention
1t would seem that the bigger and braver the name of
British batteshp the quicker it lasts The Lord Nelson
was the fastest to be put out Of commission
Back in New York yesterday masked men robbed a
last freight train That would be impossible out here
Both sides are still winning glorious paper victories
in that little European scrap
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Harry Thaw wants to be tried for insanity, probably
because he has been tried for almost everything else and
would like to complete the list before he dies of old ope
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

1t would seem that the bigger and braver the name OF
BRUSH batteshp the quicker it lasts The Lord Nelson
was the fastest to be put out of commission.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Coos Bay Harbor: The Marshfield
council has handled the band question
just as any business concern would
handle an expense which is considered
a luxury. The council has helped the
band out by paying $3.50 per month un.
til it was sufficiently strong to take
care of itself. Now the band is on its
feet, and the band boys have agreed to
take care Of themselves after this.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Back in New York yesterday masked men robbed a
last freight train That would be impossible out here
Both sides are still winning glorious paner victories
in that little European scrap
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Adyerting to "report that the Cal
ifornians are endeavoring to keep the
tourists in that state until they are
broke and discouraging them from com
ing to Oregon" the Woodburn Inde.
pendent expresses the opinion that the
California fleas may have something
to say about that.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Pacifist sentiment at Marshfield, as
reflected in the Record: Gas the war
college assemblies daily about the bul.
letin board of the Record it is OBJ
served the general sentiment it that
the war should end. No one knows Just
how the beginning of such a task
should be gone at, but all think enough
slaughter has been done to satisfy even
the most royal of royalty"
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

Expressing highest hope for the i'm.
mediate future, the Medford Sun ex.
claims: "a railroad to the Blue Ledge!
lrigationl A bumper fruit crop with
pears at five per box! A beet sugar
factory! Dreams-and may they all
come true"
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-04-16

X K < x 4 < 4 < x \ < x 4
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY

50 Tom soaked his watch. What did he get on ii?
 Soaked. .''-Times Picayune.
 Your boys were in my apple tree again yesterday" observed the first subuTbanite. declared the second ditto, "Pn send the doctors bill.' --Philadefphia Led ger.
 "Bliffers is always talking about his love for the plain people,
 "Yes?'
 his daughter plain and he was hotter than a, redheaded hornet Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 How much did he pay for those grand opera ticizets?"
 Five dollars auiece," replied Miss Cayenne. He must love music.'
 Possibly. And on the other hand he may have very little resDect for five dollars" Washington Star.
 T understand your wife is doing her own cooking
 You are mistaken"
 But Jinx told me she was"
 Oh, that was just for a little and I guess she thought he had stayed long enough" Houston Post.
 What are you working at now7' "Shucllin' oysters" replied Mrs. Erastus Pinhley. How do you like the work?''
 "Its pretty hard work Bout de only satisfaction I oits out of it k ,hinkln' how lucky I is to be de shucker instid O de oyster Wash inGton Star.
 '--dr. Moneybags, what are you go- Ing to make of your son?''
 Ican't make anything of him but ne sot d girl who's making a. monkey Of him. Buffalo Express.
 Eph-What is Nose doin' in de city?
 Ben-He is a. bank director. Fph-W hats his duties?
 Ben-He stan's in de door an tells people where to go. Youngstown CO.) Telegram.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
BIG PRODUCTION COMING
 TO THE AUDITORIUM

For the week of Jan. 11th the Audi toriun1 management have secured for their patrons a treat in the line of The Musical Follies of 1915. The company appearing comprises a number of CIeV- CT artists who require no introduction, having successfully played to numer- pus metropolitan audiences, and in many Broadway successes. Eddie Bowling, New EngIand's famous fun ologist who is featured in The Musi- cal Follies of 1915, has an enviabIe record, havir~ appeared in 1872 per formances in Providence, and is known from coast to coast.
 Raymond FinIay and Lottie Burke have already secured popularity in Norwich. appearing in several other productions and have a corking line of comedy which will be offered for ap- provaL. together with a really funny sketch and plenty Of catchy songs and clever dancing.
 Among the other members of the company are the Finlay sisters. with their dainty Quaker offerings; Walter Bergeron- famous for his baritone voice; Eva Warden, premier toe dancer: Ethel King, and many other clever performers.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
THE WORLD ALMANAC.

The World Almanac for 1915 has been issued and contains over 1000 pages. As one reads this book. the time seems very far removed, indeed, when an almanac was merely book let of calendar pages, with wise re-
 marks about the sun, the moon, a few planets, the tides, and the best time for planting various kinds of seeds. Here set forth, besides election and census returns sporting records, indus tr1al and financial reports, New ' York City gazetteer, and the countless formal informatory departments to
 which the years have accustomed readers Of The World Almanac, are a review of the war In Europe; notes on the wars uf the world; the political state platforms of 1914; details of the special emergency tax; analysis of the prison population; factory statis- tics; workmen's compensation laws;
 occupations in the United States; the Federal Reserve Act: the Federal Trade commission; statistics of for eign born population In the United States: a description of the Mexican situation: facts about the Chinese Re public; the progress and plans of the Palisades Driveway; a paper on the aeropIane and aviation generally In war, and too many other things to re- ceive even a reviewers bare mention.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08

Hope is what leads us to expect Ehe unexpected to happen.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
THE TRUTH
 ABOUT CATARRH
A Germ Disease That Can Be Stopped
 by Killing GeEma Which CMuse It.

n
 by Killing Germs Which Cause It.
 A good many claims are made for this and that remedy for Catarrh and doubtless, If you are a sufferer from this disease, you have yourself tried many of them and received no perma- nent benefit.
 The fact remains, however that there is a way to get rid of catarrh forever and certainly the method most likely to succeed and to cure where all else has failed is one that your own drug gist has so much faith in that he will of success or money back.
 That's exactly the way that Lee & Osgood and many other leading drug gists in this vicinity are selling HyO- mel, the great Catarrh germ-killer, a wonderful medicated but pleasant your nose throat and lungs through a small inhaling device that druggists furnish with it. Hvomei Is made from the pure healing oil of Eucalyptus, combined with other powerful gerni- cidal ingredients, and 1t not only clears the sore, swollen inhamed mem mbranes of your nose and throat, but it goes farther and does more. Its penetrating air Is absolute and positive death to every catarrh germ in your system. It destroys them utterly. And when the agreeable symptoms stop. If you have Catarrh, breathe Hyomei It's the only sensible thing to do and you gain nothing and lose much by waiting. Don't trust to memory. Cut this out of the paper now and take it into pass his store. Insist on getting the complete outfit, which includes the free rubber inhaler, as it is very necessary to use this inhaler to get best results.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
The Fatal Force If H.h;&

How the force of habit may endan. ger an otherwise perfect disguise Is Illustrated in a story told hv sn Ttaie ian count who arrived recently in New York. When the war broke out he was motoring In Germany with his wife and a chauffeur. At Carlsbad he met British officer who was an old friend and who asked permission to totn his party in order to get out of the country. The chauffeur accord ingiy became a man servant and inc officer took his place. The motorists were arrested nine times before thev safely reached France. and only once was the officer suS1ected. That was when he irstinctivelv returned the military salute of a sentry who stopped the car-Manchester Guardian.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
POETRY
ACROSS THE SEA.

Across the sea 1 heard the groanE Of nations in the intervals Of wind and wave. Their blood and
 bones
 Cried out in torture. crushed by
 thrones,
 And sucked by priestly oannibals. | dreamed of Freedom slowly gained By martyr meekness, patience, faith. And To! an athlete grfmly stained With corded muscles battIe-straineds Shouting it on the fields Of death. turn me, awe-struck, from the sight, Among the clamoring thousands I only know that God Is right, And that the children of the IlghS Shall tread the darkness under 3ooS I know the pent fire heaves its crust, That sultry skies the bolt will form To smite them clear; that Nature must The balance Of her powers adjust Though with the earthquake and the
 storm.
 God reigns, and let the earth rejoice. bow before His Sterner plan. Dumb are the organs of my chotces He speaks in battles stormy voice, His praise is in the wrath of man. Yet. surely as He lives, the day Or peace He promised shall be ours, To fold the flags of war and lay Its sword and spear to rust away. And sow It's ghastIy fields with
 -whtaer.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
FUNERAL.
Mrs, William l.. Cummings,

The funeral of Mrs. Rose Casey Cummings was held at S.30 o'clock Thursday morning from her home on West Town street. At g o'clock al Sacred Heart church Rev. Charles w. Brennan celebrated a requiem hlgh mass. There was very large attend ance. The choir sang during the mass and as the body was borne from the church sang Nearer, My God, to Thee. At the offertory Pie Jesu was sung by Miss May Pounch, who also gave Some Sweet Day as @ waiting hymn.
 There were many choice forms and clusters of flowers. Burial was in St Joseph's cemetery beside her sister Mrs Sabourin. The bearers were John Blacker, James D. Murphy, Carl Lyons, John HouHhan, Michael and Daniel Cummings.
 Mrs. Cummings was the devoted daughter of Mir. and Mrs. John Casey. Besides her husband, there are two children, Harold, aged 3, and Alice, aged ?, her parents. MT. and Mrs. John Casey, and three brothers and four sisters.
 Hers was the second death in the family fin 46 hours. Her sister. Mrs. Pierre F. Sabourin. of No. 191 Broad street, died Sunday.
 Cummings & Ring were in charge of the funeral arrangements.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
COLONIAL THEATRE.
Francis 5ushnan Appearing iT Scars
 of Possession, Two Reels.

2 wonderful magnetic personality never shone more brilliantly than does that of Francis X. Bushman in today 8 biz spectacular drama at the Colonial, shown under the title of Scars of Pos session, and produced and presented in two reels. This offering of the film producers of the middle west is one of the snappiest and yet most appealing dramas ever seen. The story is a com plicated one and must necessarily be seen to be understood. Suffice 1t to say that the picture is one of rare beauty and faultless acting and photography. The Serpent Comes to Eden is the next incident in The Beloved Adven- turer with Arthur Johnson as Lord Cecil, and it might be mentioned that Lord Cecil Is becoming more and more admired every incident. Her Sacri- flee is the Selig film drama. and Under False Colors features Norma TaI- madge and Antonio Moreno, the dash ing lover. Coming tomorrow is an other big Tom Moore and Alice Joyce drama entitie" The Lynwood Tragedy, another big sensation.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08

It's general better to be a smaI success than a big failure.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
A Bishop at the Front.

The British West Australian con- tingent of troops can make the proud boast that they are the only body of men at the front who have bishop for their chaplain. This is the Bishop of KaIgooriIe and he is accompany ing his troops to the war. Dr. Gold ing Bird who will be remembered in London as formerly on the staff of All Saints, Margaret street, has promised to serve with the contingent for four months. and after that time will visit England on behalf of his diocese. The bishop is by no means a stranger to active service, for during the South African war, when he was at All
 Saints, he served as chaplain to the First Cavalry Brigade.-Pau Mall
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
ANNOUNCEMENTS
EQUAL FRANcHIsE LEAGUE.
Frank Edward Johnson to be the
 Speaker This Afternoon.

Frank Edward Johnson, F. R. G. S., will speak at the regular monthly meeting of the Norwich Equal Fran chise league at the Norwich club this afternoon at 3.30 o'clock MT. John sons subject will be war conditions in Europe especially as they affect wo- men
 This is an open meeting to which all are invited and will be preceded by the regular business meeting of the league at o'clock. A special pro- gralnme is arrar ged for each meet ing and the league is fortunate in se- curing Mir. Johnson this month.
 A nuu1be. of remaining contributions 10 the Red Cross melting pot will be on hand at the meeting and it Is hop ed to realize further from the fund frolne these.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08

When a man has gone to seed lS Ss time to plant him.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08

A jolly man always finds himself in good cOmpany-When alone.
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08
WANTED

WANTED-GirI for general house. work good home for the right party. Address Mrs. A. J. Fox, Oakdale, Conn. Box 12. janSd
Norwich bulletin., 1915-01-08

When a bachelor tires Of the simple life he gets married.