The star-independent. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1904-1917, 1915-05-11
Old Zeb White
He Te!h How Hh Career Vas Cut Short
BY M.~QUAD
By QUAD
Copyright. 1915. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.

story telling mood one evening THAT
was good many yrs ago and Jest
befo' got married, and perhaps it
was powerful good thing that SUM-
thin happened to me when 1t did" {
l asked the old man a question in
tended to draw him out, and after a
bit he continued:
WAL, when | was young man
hadn't no sense In my head. l Jest
reckoned that the critter who could
wrestle and jump and fight and yell
was smarter man than the governor.
When l was twenty-three years old
thar wasn't nuthin' human in this
yere Cumberland mount'in which could
stand up to me. One day 1 fell in
love, but that didn't settle me down
any Mebbe was even wuss arter
that. / wanted to show off to the gal,
yo' know. and so continered my mad
career"
'The girl is the present Mrs. White,
I take it?" said as he waited to ill
his pipe anew.
had mo- boss sense In her leetie finger
than 1 had in my hull body. She
knowed I was making fule o. my
self. and she knowed it would take
strong medicine to cure me. She
| didn't say much one way or t'other,
but jest waited till the sign cum right.
One day she went down to Spottsville,
and when she cum home she sez to me,
sez she:
"'Zeb. thar's gwine to be circus
down at Spottsville tomorrer, and 1
reckon Td.like to go. Will yo' promise
to behave yo'rself?'
"As to howr asks.
"'As to raisin' fuss
"'If nobody steps on my heels thar
won't be any fuss .t'
1--WE made all our plans for an early
start the next day. ..........
She didn't say no mo- till we wus
on the road next forenoon. and then
she suddenly turns on me with:
"'Hev yo' ever been licked since yo'
becum fighterY
"'Never, and thar amt thing as
stands on legs as kin do it.
"T want to ask great favor Of yo',
| Zeb,' she sez as we walks along.
'Thar's gwine to be an elephant at that
| circus
"'And what of itT
'Nothin', hope. but bein' he's big
germ yo' are didn't know but yo'd git
mad and tackle him. Don't do it, Zeb.
Don't do it, fur my sake
"If she hadn't spoken as she did I'd
never thought of tacklin' the critter,'
said Zeb as he softly rubbed his knee.
"but them words sorter stirred me up,
and I begun to git mad. We didn't say
nuthin' mo till we got to town, though
/ was doin' a heap o. thinkin'. We
seen the elephant a-walkin' along the
street with the purceshun. and my wife
sez to me, sez she:
"'Zeb. he don't look to be very hefty
on the jump, and he can't wrassle, but
he pears to be an awful fighter
"'Shoo,' sez l. but don't reckon he
kin fight fur shucks.'
"Bimeby the parade was over and we
went into the circus. I'd kept gittin'
madder and madder all the time, and
now l was ready to bust. The elephant
was chained up in the middle Of the
| tent, and l walked around him and
felt dangerous. The missus was watch
in me and purity soon she sez:
"'Zeb. he's as big as hill. amt he ?
"'Mebbe he are sez I. but that's got
nuthin' to do with it. The bigness of
q man don't count fur much in fout.
l jest consider to reckon / kin make
that critter beller fur mercy in about
two minits!'
"'But yo' won't try it? Yo' are the
awfulest fightin' man on the face of
this airth. but yo' won't tackle critter
like that
IF she'd kept quiet mebbe my mad
ness would gone off, but her words
hurt me. and all of a sudden peels of
my coat and whoops whoop. l was
usin' both fists on his head when he
winds that trunk around my body and
lifts me off my feet and begins to play
with me. He slams me on the ground
and agin cages and wagons, and when
he finally lets go they picks me up
and carries ME out fur dead man.
That critter broke purity nigh all
the bones in my body, and I'm feelin'
the effects to this day. 1t was two
weeks arter the fuss befo' got things
straight in my mind. l kept thinkin'
al h. hot Cnr, ,hov- -lo, a
range had slid down on me. One
mawnin' I axed the ole woman how it
was, and she sorter laughed and said:
"I jest led yo' up TO 1t, Zeb. kase 1
wanted to see yo' git some sense in yo'r
head. l knowed yo'd git whopped, but
reckoned thar'd be nuff Of yo' left to
build up ag'in. Yo' ar the whopped-
est, lickedest man in all this world.
and faint no use to fool around no
mo-. When yo' git up jest let the fight
In bizness alone and tend to the con
and horses.
"And did that adventure effect a
eure?" asked.
"The biggest kind, sah," he replied.
'When l got outdoahs ag'in wasn't
eatin grass for anybody. but l jest
quit yellin' and steppin' high and look
in fur a fuss, and hain't had fout
since. No man likes to be whopped,
but I'm tellin' yo' that when a man
gifts so puffed up that he thinks nuthin'
on the face Of this earth kin down him
1t can't help but do him good to run
up agin an elephant who's bin feelin'