The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-01-05

Irish confetti at yuh?"
Irish confetti?" l inquired, mysti.
fed.
"Half.bricks-yuh're on'y pretend
in that yuh don't get me. amt yuh!
Well, there amt anythin' in this |
thing o. sittin' on the mourners' bench; |
but along about this time O the after
noon / feel so clawed up by them pill
in cats that breeze in here to take a
inventory O. stock that get to thinkin'
I'm fightin' the inmates Of Bide-a-
Wee home.
Them four dolls didn't skate In
here t buy. They just ambled along
t scratch. They've been V-wedgin
through bargain-counter crushes all
day. and they've picked up a peeve,
dom that. that they're afraid to tote
home t. their men-folks because they
are hep that the men, when they hit
the hall and hang their kellys up on
the rack, are goin' t. be there with
grouches themselves.
They're not keen FIR the kind o
all-hands medicine that the hubby
dovell pull in case anythin' is started.
So. just t get the rough edges o their
peeves sand-papered down, they skid
along here little while before closin'
up time and begin t toss chunks o
loose asphalt at us sunny natured-look-
in dolls behind the counters. A lot Of
EN- pick me out because I'm there
most o. the time with one O them
grins that got froze on my map by
mistake when I first fell intuh this
business and before | jerried up t 1t
that the lrinner is pie for them vim
men that v'ants somebody t pick on.
There amt no use chirpin' about 1t,
I'm crazy over my own sex. They
make it just about as peaceful for me
as if was on a battle field ten hours
day Sometimes ! feel like I'm de-
vclopin' intuh white hope. 1t used
t. be that I'd let 'em hand me the har-
pooh one after the other, just as fast
as they could nudge up t the coun-
ter
"But four years of it has funneled
the vinegar intuh my nachully win
some disposition, so that now ! take
slant at their wicks as they elbow
along; and if they're there with that
I'm gon' -t'-push -yuh-one-in-the-cho
glitter in their lamps, ! feel myself
, stiffenin like somebody that's waitin'
for trolley car t hit him on the nigh
end O. the wishbone, and it's all can
do t. keep from tricklin' back as good
as they shoot in.
"Ony ! need the eight-a-week,
| whereas that eight thing isn't gum
! change for them, so that they've got
me sewed up before the gong rings,
and they know it. So the best ! get
for mine is a 'casional little uppercut
that I've gotta eat as like as not before
the ambulance in the shape Of the
foorwalker comes up, whereas they
can paste me ontuh the ropes and
swing on me with both mitts.
"And they're hard t. dope by just
lookin' 'em over. II yuh're inquirin' o
me- get 'em right. as they sail down
the aisle. about four times outa five.
Then I head-on intuh one that don't
run t. her looks, and I'm in Heinie.
Dye think you can chart EN- right
because they're there with one o them
Dolly Warden smiles? I'm askin' yuh
that, because most men do. l amt
never cut the trail yet Of a man that
wasn't fall-guy for smilin' cat But
; | needn't talk I'm a mark for that
} stuff myself ev'ry once in while.
"I'Tl wise yuh t one of the smilin
, kind that waltzed up to my counter
: day before yestiddy afternoon. She
, was a nifty-dressed, peachy-skinned
dumplin of about thirty or so. thai
was logged like she had man work
in the day and night shifts both ends
from the middle t. keep her diked Out
, in all the scenery fit t wear.
!. 81 wicked her smile when she wa:
: 20 feet away. 1t looked like the SUI
l comm out from under cloud ant
: shimmerin' on the water on the da!
5 youhre bound for Coney. Some doll
: pull that kind of grin all the TIM
Y that they're not sleepin' just t give al
l. hands a chance t. pipe their pearl,
t teeth. But this ones smile looked
be on the level.
t "I'm goin' t get along with TIL
g cunnin' fatty says l to myself. as sh
r swung for my counter. She's chatt
y little thing thatll be prattlin' to me a
}. about the news of the day and askir
me If | don't find the life of sales
girl hard, and If I'm engaged, and
not why not. an all the like o tina
e Hi-hum, It's nice t wait on a chez
o full skirt just before closin'-up time
a That's a bug with most of us, yu
a know-t' top off the day by waitin' o
% one that don't bark at US. We hate
a break outa the plant and steer for IL
4, ballroom with the coyote music in OF
n. ears, and that's Wa. it sounds like
m the end of long day when VIC snag
piller to be waited on just before IL
III big doors are closed and we're due
&C. vamp.
40 We'll, this one with the dimpl
" and the fine double row o mothers
ii pearl molars and the sunny smirk til
nj looked like the twenty -four carat THU
"a. pumped on a stool in front of me. al
"A looked me right in the lamps with
widenin of her cutey grin: and
80. wiped the froze grin from my cha
and smiled right back at her. and
looked like a sure thing that we're 2
e in t be little playmates for the tin
- and get along like as il both of us h;
been rollin' the same hoop and playi
puss-in-the-corner together ever sin
we begun t wear our hair in braids.
- Does she run to form? Does sh
eli. Say, honest. amt through yet pick
re- chiggers and burs that that sum