The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1915-12-31

The second Pan-American Scientific
Congress has brought to Washington
host of men of great renown. Some are
merely delegates to the congress.
Others are here to let the world know
of their great discoveries. One of the
latter introduces himself as Senior Don
Quixote Manana. South American sa-
want and entomologist. II you listen to
the senior don you'll be convinced that
he could have gotten the European boys
out of the trenches before Xmas.
While not desiring to detract in the
least from Henry Ford's laudabie at
tempt to extract the soldiers from their
gravel cutters. Senior Manana insists
that Senior Ford embarked in wrong
direction on his peace quest.
Senior Ford made the meestake or
working on the soldaire instead of the
trenches" vouchsafed Senior Manana
during an interview. During a long
sojourn in the Culebra district last
weenter, l find out what cause the ter
rible slides and cause Senior Goethals to
speak much profane language. Eet Is
the little bug, and him have / named
Cucaracha bug in honor Of the slide"
"These leetle bug he have lots or
companions, what you Americans call
nails. and they mobeelize in the great
Quantity wherever they see the ditch
or the canal. He slide down the noun
tain and the mountain slide down after
heem and fill up the canal. Senoy Ford
take the boatload of bugs on the Os-
cpire Three and they slide down the
trench the same as the canal: soon
pcnt. Thaire ees no trench. The sol
dairc cannot fight without the Nrehch'
Not Enthusiastic In Praise.
Not all of the entomologists look
ing on" at the congress are enthus-
iastlc in praise of Senior Manana
scheme, and some call him a mere
visionary. Others, more cruel, speak
of him as nut" The senior, how
ever, does not care. Furthermore he
does not believe in putting his bugs
all In one basket. In event or his
Cucaracha bug falling down on the
| lob, he possesses as an auNlllary eN'
petition, the renowned Melanolestes
Picipes, colloquially known as tne
| kissing bug 1t is the senors idea &c
| make America so untenable for the
| kissing bug that he will migrate IL
| innumerable hordes to Europe ant
attack the opposing armies.
| Senior Manana Is certain that tht
l
! taCious, and the war Will terminate
| when the boys gavOtte from the
trenches and lombard each other viii
| 42-centimeter oscillations. But lister
| to the Senior himself:
| "Eet' is too sad that the Oscair'
| Two did not have the Melanoleste'
| Picipes on board. Then thaire would
! not have been the terrible quarrelinR
! The only deefculty / see ees the kiss
| ing bug will become lost and be
! wildered in these terrible maze o.
| Russian whiskaires. But then, senior
we men of brains must become useC
to the numerous deeficulties o
| science"
Among other solutions to the Eu
| ropean embroglio advanced by SOM
of the near scientists attracted her
by the congress. perhaps the best i
the scheme propounded by Senior EN-
| ilo Torreador. His plan, while
trifIe cruel, is sure to prove efticaciou
and includes nothing less than con
| structing huge bellows on the fur
thermost peak of Nova Scotia. Seno
Torreador then proposes to watt hug
clouds of Bacillus Influenzae owe
J Europe,
The ensuing laryngeal and nasal con
Vulsions caused by the bacillus subtiii
would disable all OF Eurupe's fighLin
men. Even the renowned poisonous ga
helmets would prove futile against IN
onslaught Of the bacillus infiuenZa
Although the senor's plan is froWne
upon By Senior Aanana and other Jesse