davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

stiff. and I forgot. Can't expect to get
the hang of in one moment. you know.
A little mos G. the lather."
He lathe~-a s.ay until it began to
drop off. and !. n picked up razor again.
THE lea of my throwing away Slices
to the Jarhcr.' he muttered as he laid
the flat If the razor on his cheek. Well.
better llte than never. No particular
to give himself time TO get the hang
of il. Perhaps I'd better begin on my
chin first Don't suppose il makes any
difference whether l shave up or down.
So long as l.
Mr.. Bowser. what's the matter"
called Mrs. Bowser as she kicked upon
the door.
Nothing" he answered her.
Then what are you jumping around
so for? l thought you'd shake the
The blamed thing must have slipped
on me-" he srowled as he fumed TO the
didn't hold it exactly right. All. that's
more like the way the barber told me to
hold it. Now. then, take it easy till you
get the hang of it. May he ten minutes
this time but on the next occasion I'll"
MIR. Bowser open this door" called
Mrs Bowser from the hall.
'W-what do YOU want he gasped.
Il want to know what all this swear
Didn't l tell you how you would come
OUT
You go away I'm all right. 1t was
the man next door you heard"
He heard her go away after a Bit and
he went back to the glass to whisper:
TN be hanged if l haven't nearly
cut my old chin off! What in Texas
ails the old thing. anyway. I'll get .the
old thing. anyhow. I'll get the hang of
1t II it cuts my head off. | suppose did
not have lather enough"
He lathered away some more. Then
he picked up the razor and carefully ex-
amined both sides and the edge and the
back. Then he laid the flat of the blade
on his chin and smiled sweetly and
whispered:
Probably little nervous. being the
first time. I'll just get 1t by degrees.
That's the way to do il. No barber ever
slid a razor over my chin any nicer than
that. The idea of Mrs. Bowser calling
way with a woman. If they save q cent
here they waste a dollar there. Tll-''>
Mrs. Bowser heard yell and started
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
Some Missing Links

She was a real old-fashioned motherly
woman and she was eating a lunch from
paper bag in the Pennsylvania depot.
She nodded and nodded, and she, hshed
up a piece of mince pie and said to me:
Il want you to eat some of II, even
IL you amt hungry. I made 1t myself"
Thanks. This does taste like old
times
Cant get no such, mince pie in New
York.
NO indeed"
do you notice the lack Of anything ?"
Il can't say that ] do" I replied
We'll, there was something left out by
but I'll fix II in the next batch"
Didn't you mix up meat. suet. ap-
pies. cider, nutmeg. cinnamon. currants,
raisins. cloves. aIlspice. salt. pepper,
mustard and sugar."
II did
After all was mixed up didn't YOU
heat it for fifteen minutes and stir with
q big SPOON
'Of course"
And then put Il In a crock. and ne, n
down celia. with plate over it?''
We'll. don't see where you made .nv
mistaken my
II do. though. I forgot to souee.. IN
the juice Of q lemon. and the citron and
brandy were left out entirely" ~1
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

they crept upon us like .serpents and
sent their silent arrows into camp to
lind living targets.
One night, when the day had been full
the Sioux had determined to retreat no
farther the sentnels were warned to
extra vigilance. We knew that peril
menaced US. and we who stood sentry
ready to fire at the first suspicious.
sound. At l o'clock I thought l heard
light footstep on the grass. 1t was
dark night, with now and md then ian a gust
sound. and l could not be sure that
heard Alright.
1 waited with finger on the trigger.
ready to s not to ine
ly ten minutes had passed when the
sentinel on , my right. who was only
thirty feet away. fired into the darkness.
The report of his carbine had not died
away when a loud. wild scream rang
out upon the night, and every man who
had heard it knew that 1t was uttered
by woman.
1t is a good many years back to that
night. but l remember every incident as
well as If only a week had passed. Now
and then l have dreamed OF 1t. and the
the scream has aroused me and taken all
my nerve. As soon as We could investi>
gate we found an amazing thing-a'
woman lying dead on the grass with
year-old baby in her arms. The senti.
mel haQ SnOt ner deAu IN neT traCkS, .Dut
the baby was still asleep. with one Of her
arms hugging 1t to her breast. We looked
and looked and 1t was hard to believe
We saw Alright. 1t was a settlers wife.
as was afterwards known. who had es-
capped q massacre more than forty miles
away. She had wandered around for
five days. suffering with hunger and
thirst, and had no doubt became crazed.
with anxiety and exhaustion.
There was none but old veterans in
that camp. but there were tears in all
eyes when that poor dead body was
brought in camp. and when the awak-
ened baby cried and held out its little
hands to the very trooper who had fired
upon the mother! No one could blame
him in the least. but he blamed him
self. When he realized what he had
done he turned away from us without a
word and walked As men walk in their
sleep. We had washed the mothers life
blood off the baby's hands, and the
Colonel himself was feeding n with the
Cruel hastily prepared, when there came
another shot and another alarm. The
trooper had gone just without the lines
Of the camp and fred . bullet into his
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
Laying On of Hands.

My friend. the agent of a Buffalo
wallpaper house. was taking on with
a headache in the waiting room of the
depot In Philadelphia. when a slick
looking stranger about % years of age
sat down beside us and asked:
rs the ache mostly over your eyes
or in the back Of your head?'
IT'S all over my head" said the VIC
tim.
Exactly. Proceeds from d nervous
state of the system. All, your pulse is
way up. Let's see your tongue. I thought
so: cold current of air has chilled
the nerves along the spine, and a smash
ing headache Is the result
Are you a physician" I asked.
well. no. not i'm the ordinary sense.
! am called a professor. Some call me
fakir. even. I effect cures by what
Is called laying on of hands. You are
skeptical. of course; but I'll agree to cure
your friend here in ten minutes or for
felt $50"
For heavens sake go ahead" groaned
Tom. IF you can cure me In an hour
I'll give you So
We went down into the baggage depart
ment. where the performance wouldn't
attract so much attention. and the fell
low began passing his hands over Toms
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

own heart. Remorse had driven him
TO it,
Somewhere in the West that baby, now
grown to manhood, still lives. but the
two graves we dug next morning We're
years ago levelled and obliterated from
all sight but that Of God. At the last
great day. He will awaken the dust of
the dead.
Since the sun came up this morning
We have been marching and counter
marching. forming a battle front four
miles long. 1t Is now 10 o'clock. We
were ready here on the left wing before
they were on the right, but all are
ready now.
So long as We are moving there was
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

One night as I was going along Pearl
street a man called to me from a dark
doorway, and I stopped and looked in
70 finally make out a very ragged chap
sitting on the first step of the stairs.
Look a-here-E want to have a talk
with YOU" he said as ! asked what was
wanted.
Very we'll; come on out here
Cant do il. If ] should leave this
place some other chap would jump my
claim.
is this where you Sleep"
Yes, unless the police get onto me and
throw me out. No Fifth avenue style
about it. but it keeps off the dew and
thing in thy tones leads me 10 suspect
that thou art a fellow of my own craft.
Am l k'rect?"
What's your craft
I'm old print Come. now, hast thou
ever handled stick and rule? Dost thou
know a standing-galley from an impos-
ing-stone? Hast thou ever hustled for
a PLAT take on the copy-hook?'
shake. I'd have bet on it. Just the
man I'm looking for. I was saying TO
myself not five minutes ago that if old
print would only come along and stop TO
for the way 1t has wronged me. Are
you broke
Not quite
out of a sit?''
Lucky dog! Say old boy. I've tramped
this country from end to end. I've made
my string in almost every office between
the Augusta Chronicle and the Calves
ton News. I'm on my last take now; I've
got Slug % this time for sure"
Are YOU ill.,
I'm old and broken and played I'm
out OF ,ua's and spaces. | haven't had
a dollar-rnark in the box for weeks and
weeks I've got just about a week longer
10 live"
Il hope it isn't as bad as that"
It's Just that way. Capitals. small
caps and italics all played out. and I'm
solid matter for the bone-yard. Let's
reason a bit l want to ask favor
Of yon-a dying favor of an old print
like myself
I'll grant it"
Gimme a half and don't ask me what
] want to do with it. Don't advise me-
Don't mOralize. Don't double-lead no
TEMPERANCE lcctuFe on me, nor give me
paragraphs of philosophy in italics"
Here's your half
Bless you old man, How I'd like to
have met You five years ago, when I
could hold two gallons of beer at once.
Now. then, l appeal to your fraternal
sentiment
''Wen?"
stars as a token Of respect for the death
of one who has stood at the case for over
thirty long years. It's the only tomb
stone my graveyard will have. VIII you
do it?''
II will"
shake! You are old Long Primer
loaded out. You are reprint copy. You
justify to dot
Are you going"
Yes. Don't fling any questions after
me. Don't pity me. for it's too late
The old tramp print has got Slug 90 and
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
Under lOr;litiOns.

The President stated that he had re-
ceived the following personal letter:
Boston. 1915.
Brother Gardner-1s there anything
wrong in playing a game of cards?
Very truly.
CRANBERRY JONES"
when Elder Lightfoot an his wife
come ober to my cabin. replied the
President, An we sot down fur a game
o. euchre. we feel as innocent of wrong
as a two-year old child foolin' wild re-
volver: but under certain odder con-
dishuns game of cards may result in
great evil. IL a pusson stacks the
keerds. OATS wrong: if he puts de joker
up his sleeve, OATS wrong: il he plays
lone hand. dat looks suspicious: IL he
winks at his partner to take II up or
turn 1t down 1t isn't a squar' game. Or
dinarily speakin' dar's muffin wrong in
a game of keerds-unless you git all de
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

and led him into suburb of st. Louis
1t had been charged that the General
did not know that the dog was mad and
picked him up with the intention of being
g dog ahead.
3. The case of Elder Theopholis Smith,
of Georgia, who plunged into a raging
flood to rescue n boy 10 years old. 1t
until the boys father had offered a re-
ward of 500, and the committee could
not come to any conclusion.
t. The case of George Washington De-
foe. who descended into a well thirty
eight feet deep to rescue a man who had
Just cheated him blind on a mule trade.
and who refused a reward of fifteen
cents for his noble efforts. This case.
in the opinion of the committee. was the
most deserving, and on the question be-
ing put to the Club was unanimous In
voting the prize to George.
There being no further business in the
ice-box the meeting adjourned for one
week.
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

ever looked into his face and put him
down as faint hearted. Twenty minutes
ago he would have swept forward with
us to charge a battery and hurrah with
excitement. Suspense has snapped his
courage and unnerved him. See him
tremble. Note his paleness. Now there
comes a look of terror and desperation
to his eyes and before any one could
stop him
What. He has sent a bullet into his
head from his own musket-killed him
self through sheer terror of waiting to
be killed by the enemy. We saw il
whenever We waited. We rose from
bivouac many a morning in the presence
of the enemy to stumble against the
corpses of comrades hanging to limbs
driven to suicide because their nerves
broke down under the strain of sus-
pense,
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

head and face. and also rubbing his hands
He hadn't worked a minute before Tom
said he felt better. and in ten the
headache was entirely gone.
Now don't offer to pay me or I shall
be offended" he said as he stopped
work. land YOU had better sit quiet for
about ten minutes right where you are.
Close your eyes, thus. and lean back
little more
He bowed himself out in a graceful
way, and had been gone fifteen minutes
when Tom carefully arose. opened his
eyes, and suddenly called out:
Robbed. by thunder!
The fakir got 81 in cash. and rail-
road ticket to Washington. and a dia-
mond pin worth $l2J. and the police
haven't nabbed him to this day.
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

for the stairs. She met Mr.. Bowser
halfway up. The lather was flying about
and the blood streaming down on his
shirt bosom, and his eyes were as big as
onions.
Well. didn't / say so.'' she de-
manded.
Her words brought Mr.. Bowser to him.
self. He turned back. beckoned for her
to follow. and as they entered the bed
room he silently pointed. The razor lay
on the floor. the bowl was broken in
three pieces, and there was lather
everywhere.
"Well?" she queried, as she picked
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

and no more would stick to him, he
picked up the razor and chuckled:
Il just hold it with three fingers. this
way, and lay il on my cheek, this way.
and move 1t gently down. A child three
years old could do that. I'll show Mrs.
Bowser trick or two before I'm
through. Good woman. but she thinks
she knows it all. Razor just slides
Mr.. Bowser gave a jump and at the
same instant he saw the lather stained
with blood.
Don't amount to anything-just the
head of pimpIe.'' he whispeded to HIM
self. Barber told me to keep my arm
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
Rather Embarrassfng

Chicago statistician of curious turn
of mind made inquiry by letter as to
the exact length of the shortest pair
of feet in the Club. AS the Secretary
read the Letter. siXty-four pair of feet
were suddenly drawn under chairs and
benches. The siXty-fifth pair. belonging
to Elder Toots, were too large to be
fore stood out like Jay Cookies kitchen
expenses.
Dat am leadin' queshun,'' replied
Brother Gardner, as he looked around
the Hall. lit am my private opinyun dat
de length of a mans feet do not properly
come under de head of public staytis-
ticks. an de Seckretary needn't bodder
hisself to answer de letter. Among de
home industries built up by de organiZa-
shun of dis Club am de rapid sale of No.
"A butes an brogans. but furder dan dis
l hev no partikulerS.'
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
NeQrer Home.

The Janitor reported the breaking of
five panes of glass in the back windows
during the week. but he had been una
BILE to locate any one with his shot
gun. Also that the rats were eating the
legs off the safe in which the Club
funds are stacked away.
The Librarian reported the receipt of
three dozen almanacs. and a pamphlet
entitled How to Be Beautiful
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
THE LIME KILNCLUB
The Weekly Meetings Are Full of Interest.

nine an ten-spots. an de odder man
holds all de bowers an aces.
The Sick.
The Committee on the Sick reported
that Judge Alanthus Griggs. local mem
bed and had asked for his allowance
from the relief fund.
What am de matter wild de Judse?'
asked the President.
"Sprained his back
How
BY iumpin' ober hitchin' post on
bet of ten cents"
"Bein' dat he sprained his back by
jumpin' ober hitchin' post, he kin now
obtain relief by fallin' off a house."
concluded the President. as he blew his
nose and sat down.
The Committee further reported that
Brother Greensbrier Claxton had fallen
downstairs and driven his eyebrows clear
UP to the roots q his hair. but they
had no recommend to make; The Presi-
dent said that falling downstairs did not
come under the head of accident. and
the matter was laid on the table to see
if the eyebrows wouldn't settle down to
their place.
Unfavorably Reported.
The following candidates were I'M
favorably reported on for causes named:
kenewha Smith. of Maryland. charged
with being caught in bear-trap at the
door OF n nelShDOr SmOke-hOuSe. Ills
excuse that he mistook the smokehouse
for schoolhouse at which there was tic
be a spelling school that night was de-
cided to be too thin.
Cemetery Hastings. of Indiana, charged
with feeding his wife with powdered
chalk when she had the ague. and max
ing her believe it was quinine. His de-
Tense was that the chalk cured her. but
the Committee were afraid that II the
action were overlooked he might next
compel his wife to believe that a chip OIL
a cabbage leaf was quail on toast.
Sincerity Flats. of South Carolina.
charged with assisting to put out a fire
in a grocery. He worked zealously
that next day a constable discovered
cans of peaches. a box of
soap. ten pals. two hams and twenty-one
hidden away in Mr.. Flats
cabin. His defense was absence of mind.
but the Committee refused to consider
1t, holding that while an absent-minded
articles as enumerated in the charge.
he would hardly take up the kitchen
floor to hide them.
Our CoIored Heroes.
The President announced that it was
time to bestow the semi-annual prize
offered by the Club for the greatest dis
North America, and he called for the re-
port of the committee, Waydown Bebee.
chairman of said committee. reported
that he had several cases to mention, as
follows:
l. The case OF Harrison DaybalI Car
burning building and brought a baby
n one hand and a gallon jug of whisky
n the other. 1t could not be definitely
whether the jug or the baby
,. The case of Gen. Pompeii Jones, who
put a string around a mad dogs neck
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
Some New Rules.

The Secretary then announced the fol-
lowing new rules. which will he riGiily
enforced until furthers orders:
l. No member shall address the meet
ing without having both shoes on.
.. No more than forty dogs will be al
lowed in the Hall at any meeting. The
other fifty or sixty shall be tied up in
the alley or left in the anteroom.
3. Religious or political discussions be-
tween individuals will not be allowed
while the meeting is in session.
4. In rising to address the chair, men,
bers will face the chair.
). Peanut-shucks. apple-cores. bananas
rinds. orange-peels and other foreign
substances must not be thrown about
when there is question before the
meeting as a member who is hit on the
jaw is liable to have his attention dis
tracted.
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

something like comfort. this is. Hanged
If l don't believe i shall want TO shave
twice a day after this
Mr. Bowser decided to put on plenty of
lather. He put it on his chin. cheeks.
nose. forehead. ears and throat, and
more or less fell on the carpet. When
he had lathered until both arms ached,
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04
NIisaing Links.

Some weeks since petitions were re-
ceived from Gen. Scott Boobies. of Ala
bama and Elder Whitehead. of Virginia.
and the committee to whom they were
referred were not ready to report back
until this meeting. Their work had been
very thorough. They had ascertained
that the General was last year locked
up for having Thirteen dead chickens I'M
der the bed. and the Elder was known
to have three wives and was strongly
suspected of hiding two more In the
woods. The Committee therefore re-
ported adversely on the petitions. and
the same were ordered to the waste
basket
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

it's no use kicking So long old man.
and may YOU always have a full case
and get the latest takes"
And So ! drop in the. line of stars, as
! promised him, for he is dead. / saw
him no more after he went off in the
darkness. but the other night ! happened
into the clearinghouse in which he
brcathed his last and from which a city
undertaken carried his body TO pauper's
The Washington herald., 1915-07-04

As the hour arrived for opening the
last Saturday meeting of the Lime Kiln
Club Brother Gardner sounded the tri-
angle. Samuel Shin filled the stove anew,
and proceedings started to proceed.
Agricultural.
A letter signed Jonas Parker. dated at
Scottsville Ohio, and making inquiries
concerning the present buckwheat crop.
called forth the following report from
the Committee on Agriculture:
Dis Committee yesterday visited TO
hardware stores an a butcher shop to
ak bout dis vary buckwheat crap, an
de reports in each case war to de effeck
dat de crap am on de bum? All de pros
pecks pint to buckwheat cakes fur break
fast till de cook am tired in de elbows"
The Library.
The LihGArian reported the receipt of
ninety-six additional almanacs. and a
work on the loSwood industry of Brazil.
He suggested that raise of salary for
Bile, as his work had increased more than
one-half. and this suggestion gave rise
to a sharp debate. After the storm had
passed over, Waydown Bebee Offered
the following resolution:
"Resolved-Dat when de laborious Ia
bors of any posishun in dis Club git to
be moren de officer kin walk off wild.
he should resign de same an make a
trip to de sea-shore for his health
The resolution was adopted. and the
Librarian sat down and unbuttoned his
vest and had nothing more to say.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1915-01-13
RETIRED MANUFACTURER
DIES AFTER BRIEF ILLNESS

Aberdeen. S. d.. Jan. 9.-Maurice l..
Fischbein. a retired capitalist and pio-
neer of Aberdeen, died at his apart
ments in the Sherman hotel on Thurs
day afternoon at 5 o'clock. Arrange
ments for the funeral have not yet been
made.
Mr.. Fischbein was an early resident
of Aberdeen. Later he moved to Min
neapolis. where he operated a mattress
factory and accumulated a comfortable
fortune. A few ears ago he retired
from business. INC had since made Alb
erdeen his home. though travelling ex-
tensively, having made a trip around
the world. and numerous trips abroad.
A week ago, he and Mrs. Fischbein had
planned to spend 10 days in St. Paul
and then go to Florida for the winter.
h day before their projected depart
ure Mr.. Fischbein was taken i'll. the
,ilment developing into pneumonia, and
Sc grew steadily worse until the end
zane.
Forest City press. (Forest City, Potter County, D.T. [S.D.]) 1883-19??, 1915-01-13
PREMATURE TAXATION
OF K0MESTEADS IS
CAUSE OF COMPLAINT
Legislature Will Be Asked to
Remedy Condition Long
In Existence.

kadoka. S. d., Jan. 9.-Residents of
western South Dakota will ask their
representatives in the state legisla-
ture to make an effort to secure legis=
latlon which will do away with the
state practice of collecting taxes on
homesteads Immediately after final
proof has been made by an applicant
and the land office receivers receipt
has been issued, but before the appli-
cant has received his patent title)
from the federal overnment
II is commended that THE practice
would not De permitted hou the pay
ment of taxes thus assessed be at
tackled in the United States court.
Those who favor the enactment of
state legislation which will stop this
practice point out that at the time the
state commences to collect taxes in
his way the title to the property is
not in the person assessed. but re-
mains in the federal government. Be
tween the issuing of the land office
receivers final receipt n the ishu-
ance of the patent by the government
circumstance may arise which might
permanently deprive the entryman
from acquiring title to the land from
the government.
a contest instituted at the time of
making final proof, or following the
completion of proof. might result In
the lane being declared the property of
another person. Instances of his kind
already have occurred. In one case i'm
Lawrence county a man la paid X
on a homestead for a period of IL
years after the issuanc of the Ian of
flee receivers receipt and then the fed
eral authorities found he was not
entitled to "A patent.
In this case the county and state
were obliged to refund all taxes coli
lected during the period of IL years.
In the aVa1f thot tho rncnr lnric1n-
ture refuses to enact legislation which,
will stop the practice of collecting
taxes on homesteads before patent has
been issued. the residents of western
South Dakota who have inaugurated
the movement intimate that they will
apply for relief to the United States
court by instituting a test case. which
would be of ~far-reaching Importance in
South Dakota as we'll as in other states
where there are large bodies of home
stead land and where a similar plan
of collecting X on the new and has
been followed.