The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1915-10-09
SUNFLOWER PETALS
Plucked by The Golden Belt Spectator.

Frank Carman, the captain OF the FORT
Hays Normal Tiger football team
oooo
There are sixty-four shopping days
until Christmas, Be a Spug.
5000
The really clever girl tells her ad-
mirers that she is just an ordinary girl
and then acts and talks as an ordinary
girl would. There are not many of this
kind left. They get married.
ooOo
Pennsylvania claims the honor of or
i sinating homemade raisin bread.
From the kind we get in Kansas, Penn
s .5lvania is probably correct.
oooo
Meredith and Galsworthy are the
two greatest modern writer's of the
romance of young love, according to
the Book Buyer of Sribners'. Then
Chambers, London, McCarter, Wright,
Morris, write of old love.
5000
If the new F. Hopkinson Smith novel,
Felix O'Day''is one half as good as
the reviews say it is. way does rot
somebo jy read it?
5000
A mems clothing firm in Kansas City
ran an ad in the Star which began with
this quotation from Thomas Carlyle, g
naked house of lords would inspire no
awe Above this statement was
large blank square containing these
words, Illustration deIeted by censor. "
Department stores and ladies ready
to-wear establishments employ no CEN
sor of advertising.
DIR. Newo Ney.i New, archbishop of
Newthot church and president of the
Newthot university, was arrested
.harged with fraud. He was advocat-
ing some new rot. The new thought
any one can preach and get away with
was first figured out by Socrates.
oooo
A young British officer wrote the fol-
lowing love letter to his sweetheart
Dear Edith: What told you February
25, I tell you again" If the American
Young man could remember this formu-
la, it would save some sad mix-ups.
oooo
The babies who were named after
Bryan in 1896 are going off to College
this fall and they are all using their
initials.
Kansas City is not much stirred up
over its vice and booze scandal. The
good people of community are silent
partners to its crime and bad govern
ment as long as they keep still.
COCO
/ A Hays girl received a post card tn; S
week which read: ''They say that ore
and one are two, but that is not always
true; for sometimes one and one arc
one when one by one is Won"
oooo
Why is it that family with a lot OF
children also has cog equally as
worthless?
The enrolment of Chinese students
in the domestic science department Of
the Kansas State Agricultural College
has increased this fall. The Spectator
IS glad to learn wh-re such poor recip;
for chop suey comes from.
Son. "
Father, Eyes the name of the new
building will be Sheridan Coliseum
oooo
Foolish girls make speciality O
breaking hearts; wise girls run repair
shops" Mcpherson Republican.
oooo
As William Allen. White in the page
of his Emporia Gazette has undertaken
with some degree of success to tell thu
women of Kansas whether or not the!
can make salad, whether or not they
should wear corsets, the Spectator de
sires to enlist his services in establish
ing the Kansas division of the Society
for the Elevation and Concealment O
Petticoats. Mr.. White is everywher'
as the leading living Kansan. n,
other person could so well call thu
hosts to Armageddon, or is SO wei
qualified on account of previous expert
ence in similar matters.
oooo
The following item was clipped from
an Oklahoma newspaper between q
and % years ago. The boy who wrot
the essay was in the Wichita publ
schools and was suspended for writin;
it. The effort" was:
He PANTS FOR FAME.
. Pants are made for men and not mel
for pants. Women are made for me
and not for pants. When a man pant
for woman, and woman pants for
, man they ;re a pair of pants. Sue
pants don't last. Pants are like molas
ses, they are thinner in hot weathe
and thicker in cold. The man in tn
moon changes his pants during a
eclipse. Don't go to the pantry fe
2 pants, you might be mistaken. Ne