davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Her Xcuse

Queen Elizabeth made a big bluff
about defending herself over Mary
Queen Of Scots execution, didn't
she?"
Sure she did. Said it was quite
ax-identaI"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Large Returns.
'DohhleWorth is a facefinns

"Dobbleworth is facetious fellow"
In what respect?"
Announcing the arrival of twins al
his house, he said love had declared
dividend on both common and pre-
ferre6 stock"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
DuIcet Strains Not Exnec4ed.

"Will the musicians be on hand to
greet you when you get homer"
I'm afraid So" replied Senator
Sorghum. MY campaign manager has
written informing me that l owe
money 10 every band in town"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
knNLl Ene$r,L L. Wri%+an

This is a pretty poem Of yours.
Something tossed of to crafty a
whimsical fancy?"
NO; something ground out to pay
a wash BILL
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
AVOIDING Talk,

Keep out your tongue the doctor says,
The while your pulse he'll grab;
A goodly scheme in many ways.
1t saves a lot of CAB
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

row ribbon. 1t is cut out in three
pieces, one of which forms the back
of the case and the follower lap,
and a second piece which forms the
front of the pocket into which the
razor is slipped, and a third piece
sewn on in front of this makes a peck
ct for the scissors.
Two pieces of tape are sewn on to
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
In the Kitchen

The Vanilla Beam have a great
association with epicures as a favor
ing for desserts.
Nutmeg-Ah. but l have a crater.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Giddap!

"Weu,' said Clancy, when he came
home to supper, = got fired today"
Il thought you told me that you
were working on a freproof building"
exclaimed Mrs Clancy
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

If a man tells story pretty well his
friends say: THAT fellow is good
enough to be in vaudeville"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
It Seems So.

They are always Dragging of their
ancestors
Yes. from the way they talk you
would almost imagine they had Sc
Iected them themselves"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
It's Lack.

Has your sons college a good cur
riculum?"
No; they don't play none of them
Greek games"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Kne>u the Svpn+on,e

Betty-Dear Jack! 1 wish I knew
if he really intends to propose to
me.
Marie-No doubt of it, dear. He's
behaving exactly as he did before he
proposed to me.-Boston Evening
Transcript.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Worse Things to Talk About.
Human pride takes curious forms"
For instance?"
L know a man who never tires of
Dragging about his patent garbage
can, for which he paid $3.50"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Man is seldom famous for the things
that he has not done.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
It's Object.

81 see a conspiracy is suspected in
flour"
Yes; I suppose the conspirators
see a chance of getting all the
dough"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Eat Skunks in Aroentina

The Gauchos of the Argentine are
in the habit of hunting skunks, not
merely for their fur, but also for their
flesh
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Color CHANGE.

Your new assistant is blue over his
work
4 guess that is because he is so
green about it"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
More Worry.

Don't worry. Worry affects the
ductless glands of the body, thus caus-
ing actual physical ailments"
Gosh, I'm sorry you tol1 me that
1t will make me worry"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Some observe Mothers Day once a
year, others all the time.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
A Human Dynamo.

Hustler; isn't hep
Yes, that fellow kicks up as much
dust as an automobile"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

TOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine BYE Remedy for Red, Weak. Watery
HYes and Grauulatsd Eyelids; No SmRrtinE-
Just Eve comfort Write for Book of the Eys
By mall Free. Murine Rye Remedy Co., Chicago
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

The LORD always seems to pay more
attention to the hustler's prayers for
SUCCESS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

And man is also the architect of
most of his own misfortunes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
Ii De

He-W-w-will you k-k-kiss m-m-me?
She (shyly)-How long will the real
thing take?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Loving q woman is not the impor-
tant thing. Getting along with her
after marriage is the important thing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

If it wasn't for men, fewer women
would dislike each other.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

What has become of the old-fash-
Toned girl who blushed?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Because one is not leading the pro-
cession it is no sign that he is down
and out.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

placed anywhere. at
tracts and kills all
sizes. Neat. clean, or.
namsntai, convenient
cheap. la SITS ell
season. n ad e of
metal. cAntspin or tip
over; will not sell or
nlure anything.
Guaranteed effective.
All de sleFs ore sent
express paid for s1.A
A. E-1.ET -
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
So Says the Bachelor
nom uppOrt

Of modesty men naturally have
All that's to be desired;
But most women seem to think
'Tis a thing to be acquired.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
MRS. MABEN
WAS MADE WELL.
BY Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg.
table Compound and Wants
Other Suffering Women
To Know It.

Murfreesboro, Tenn. "I have
wanted to write to you for a long time
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
The Out and Out Truth.

WAS the man the same one that
brought the bill before?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
From Ancient History.

Biggs-I wonder who originated the
mother-in-law joke?
Diggs-Our old friend Noah, I be-
lieve
Biggs-How do you figure it out?
Diggs-After building the ark. he
failed to take her in out of the wet.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Does your charity cover many sins?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

did you say that was out?"
mo; told him I thought he was"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24

Mr.. Pinfeather-Do you object to
me on account of my age?
The Widow WiseIy-No. On &C
count of your extreme youth.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-06-24
SAW NO REASON FOR SPEED

Canadian Government Agents.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08

low would. however, spell death. The
impact of her body would set the
shale in motion. like an avalanche
and beyond the caves was only empti-
ness and the bowlder-strewn bed OF
the chasm, a hundred feet below,
The sweat poured from his face like
rain. His eyes started in their sock
cts, the blood drummed in his ears
with a roar resembling distant thun-
der. His fingers grew numb, his throat
dry.
He felt that he could not hold on
another instant when, abruptly, that
torture was no more. The rope had
been relieved of it's burden. He heard
a scream from below echoed by one
from above, then the thump of Judith's
body falling on the shale, then the
slithering rumble of the landslide
gathering momentum.
Barcus, at length arrived, assisted
him to a place Of security. Spent
and faint and sick with horror. he lay
prone and shuddering
Only the assurance of Barcus that
Judith had somehow escaped being
precIpitated over the caves of the
shale roof reused him and gave him
nerve enough to resume the climb,
1t was true, when he found courage
to look and see for himself; she lay
within three yards of the brink SUI
pine, her face uplifted to the sun, I'M
stirring; she dared not stir; single
movement was calculated to set the
shale bed again in motion.
Painfully he realized that if, as Bar
Gus asserted, she had deliberately cut
the rope herself, Judith had offered
up her life to spare his own.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08

been nothing more ponderable than a
truss of STRENGTHENING halfway down
the embankment. hopeless tangle OF
shattered tubing and twisted wire.
At first blush the circumstance
seemed surprising, that the car did
not stop. But then Barcus reminded
himself that Marrophat and Jimmy
could not possibly have witnessed the
accident involving Alan and Rose, who,
together with the wreck of their ma
chine, remained well-cloaked by the
underbrush at the bottom of the can
yon. In all probability, then, the as
sassins had assumed that Alan had
hurried on; and since their own first
business was concerned exclusively
with them, they had done likewise,
reasoning that they could return and
deal with his unfortunate friend at
their convenience after overhauling
their quarry, whose life they most
coveted.
AS for Rose and Alan-heaven alone
knew what had happened to them. So
Barcus set himself to find out what
ever Providence knew without more
delay. The racing car was barely out
of sight when he sprang from the
sheltering trees and, Judith at his
heels, pelted headlong down the slope
to the spot where the others had van
ished.
To find them not only alive but
practically unscathed affected that
loyal soul almost to tears.
But when congratulations had been
mutually exchanged, there fell all
awkward pause. The eyes of the four
sought one another's ruefully, each
pair quick with the unuttered but in
exorable inquiry: What next?
In the outcome, it was Mr.. Barcus
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08

who advanced the suggestion which
was adopted-though this was its re
eeption more through lack of better
than for any actual appeal intrinsic
in the proposition,
When we broke down, / saw" he
his thumb to indicate the road, "a can,
yon branching off from this one about
quarter of a mile over yonder. If it's
all the same to you people, We might
stroll round that way and see what its
natural attractions may be-if any,
But it's sure a mighty poor sort of a
canyon that doesn't lead anywhere
and nothing could possibly be more
fatiguing to our mercurial and rest
less tempers than to squat down here
and fold our hands in our laps and
wait for something to turn up-and
anyway we can't be worse off than we
are-and-"
Sufficient" Mr.. Law interrupted
with a bleak smile.
Crooking a deferential arm, Barcus
offered it to Judith
Everything is lovely in the formal
garden" he insisted-"so sweetly TO-
mantle. Are you game for an idle
saunter, just to while the idle hours
away?
The woman found spirit enough for
a wan smile as she tucked her hand
gratefully beneath his arm.
You're the cheerfulest soul ever
met she said demurely. What I'm
going to do without you when-if ever
we get out of this awful business,
goodness only knows"
Let's talk of something else" he
suggested hastily
Unless, of course" she pursued
with unbroken gravity, 81 marry
you.
Heaven" the young man prayed
fervently, "forfend!"
That is hardly gallant
Il mean-heaven forfend that you
should throw yourself away!
"Humph!" she unused. Perhaps
you're right"
Their banter was not without a
subtle object, namely, to reassure the
girl who followed supported by her
lovers arm.
In the course of the last "a hours
Roses jealousy of her sisters new
found friendliness with Alan had
become acutely evident. The least
courtesy which circumstances now
and again demanded that he show
Judith or seem a boor, was enough
to cloud the countenance of Alan's
betrothed.
Nor indeed, was Rose altogether
destitute of plausible excuse for this
feeling. 1t was undeniable that be-
tween Alan and Judith bond of SYM
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08

be to risk leaving the road altogether
and dashing off into space
And it was impossible to stop the
cycle-so brief was all his warning.
In desperation Alan chose the outside
of the road; and for the space of a
single heartbeat thought that he might
possibly make it, but with the next
realized that he would not-seeing the
front wheel swing off over the lip of
the slope.
At this he acted sharply and upon
sheer instinct. AS the cycle left the
road altogether he risked a broken
knee by releasing his grasp of the
handlebars and Strengthening out his
leg and driving it down forcibly
against the roadbed. The effect of this
was to lift him bodily from the sad
die: the machine shot from beneath
him like some strange prOjectile
hurled from the bore of a great gun;
and Rose crashed against him in the
same fraction of a second.
Headlong they plunged as one down
the hillside, struck It's shelving sur
face a good twenty feet from the brink
of the road, and flying apart tumbled
their separate ways down the re-
mainder Of the drop and into the
friendly shelter of the underbrush.
Something nearly miraculous saved
them whole. Beyond few scratches
and bruises and a severe shaking up,
they escaped unframed. And they
were picking themselves up and re-
gaining their breath and re-collecting
their scattered wits when, with i'm
petus no less terrific than their own
had been, the pursuing motor car
swung round the bend and hurled it.
self directly at the two who remained
upon the road above.
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08

scheme they might contemplate for
his personal determination.
Nor would Tom Barcus be exempt.
if they we're caught in company
though Judith might be, in view of
Marrophats infatuation for the girl.
These two were far ahead out of
sight indeed; and must somehow be
overtaken and warned-no easy mat
ter, since the machine which bore
them was, if anything, faster than
Alan's, just as the racing automobile
was faster than either
Alan kept his gaze steadfast to the
road before them, daring not once TO
look up and round or back.
So sinuous and meandering was it's
course, indeed, that Alan seldom could
see a hundred yards of it ahead, but
must pelt on in panic flight, hoping
for the best-that Judith and Barcus
would soon show up in front, that
something might happen to hinder tho
pursuit-never knowing whether the
latter lost or gained.
And thus catastrophe befell q.
Round the swelling bosom of wood
ed mountainside the motorcycle swept
like hunted hare, and without the
least warning came upon Barcus and
Judith, dismOunted, Barcus bending
over his cycle and tinkering with its
motor
For one manipulating instant COLI
sion seemed unavoidable. Barcus and
Judith and the motorcycle occupied
most of the width of the road; there
was little room between them and the
declivity, less between them and the
forest. To try to pass them on the
latter side would be only to dash his
brains out against the trees; while to
make the attempt on the outside would
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08
CHAPTER XIX.
Sacrifice.

But Tom Barcus hadn't failed to
profit by the warning implicit in Alan S
accident.
Alan, he told himself shrewdly,
would never have run his cycle at so
foolhardy a pace without good rea-
son; and under the circumstances good
reason was synonymous solely with
pursuit.
He was therefore on the alert, quick
to see the racing automobile when it
came hurting round the bend, and in
the very nick of time grasped Judith
arm and swung her bodily with him
back out of harms way, amid the
trees that bordered the inside of the
road.
OF necessity his motorcycle suffered.
Abandoned in the middle of the road,
it was struck by the buffers of the
motor car and flung aside as if it had
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08
SYNOPSIS.

The of Hearts is the "death-sign" en-
of vengeance which he wages against
Alan Law, son of the man (now dead who
was innocently responsible for the acct
dent which rendered Urine helpless Grip
pie for life. Alan loves and is loved by
Trines daughter Rose. Judith Roses
twin and double, but a woman of violent
and uncertain temper, promises her father
TO compass Alan's death; but under dra-
matte circumstances Alan saves her life
and SO, unwillingly, wins her love as well
as Roses. In spite Of her jealousy of
Rose, Judith refuses to serve out the VOW
story opens is actively assisting Alan and
Rose and their friend Tom Barcus to es-
cape the persecution of Urine and his
aides led by his confidential man, one
Marrophat
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08
Copyright, l0l4. By LOuls Joseph vanes

But of a sudden one of the women
she who wore the garments of her
sex-paused, uttered low cry,
a-thrill with terror and clutching the
arm of the man nearest her, pointed
down to the card that stared up from
the dust at her feet
1t was trey of hearts
The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1915-01-08
His Position.

Il do not believe any man can please
some of the women all the time" con-
fessed skinny little Mr.. Hennypeck,
nor all the women some Of the time,
and if he succeeds in pleasing any
of the women any of the time + con-
slider him almost a genius. Puck.
Evening journal., 1915-03-22

period of several weeks and after the
completion of this work a report will
be forwarded to the bureau Of census
in the'departmcn. OF commerce.
Statistics concerning the various
kinds of corporations, such as indiyid-
ual and limited partnership. the char
acter Of production, the amount Of cap
ital, and the salaries paid the en-
ployes of the concern, will be included
In the report After this report has
been completed ana verified state.
mcnt OF the reports of all the manu-
facturcrs will then be issued by tn,
government A number Of reports
have alroacy been received by the bu.
roau direct from the manufacturers
Themselves. The agents say co-opera-
ton OF the manufacturers is necessary
in order to complete this report as
soon as possible.
The purpose Of this report is TO benc
ft the manufacturers and to acquaint
them with the numerous other cor
porations throughout the country Th'
report will be known as the fedora
census of manufacturers.
Evening journal., 1915-03-22
Hagiey Community
House Notes
By ths Direotor, Miss Irene EarlL

In the library at the Community
House tomorrow evening Dr. Victor d.
Washburn. president of the Delaware
Society for Sociai Hygiene, Will give
a free lecture. illustrated with lantern
slides, on sex hygiene to men and
boys over fifteen years old. This lee
ture was given recently at the Young
Mems Republican Club to a represen-
tatiyo audience Of Wilmington men,
and received most favorable comment.
IL is interesting and vital. All mon
arc welcome. Come and invite others.
The Delaware Society Tor Social Hy-
giene is a branch of the great national
organization, the American Federation
OF Social Hygiene. which has done so
much in tho past FIVE years for moral,
physical and legal progress in sex
matters. All who arc interested in its
objects arc invited to join the Della
ware Society
On Wednesday, March "a, beginning
at 7.3O p. m. tho March gymnasium
contest will be held. All arc welcome
The fathers and mothers are especial
~ invited.
The Ha-Co-lio Camp Fire Girls held
a successful dinner party on March
/ 10. at which the cooks and entertain
ers were Anna Buchanan and Margar-
/ Ct Thompson, who in this way won a
/ required honor toward the rank oI
] fire maker. on March II the Ha-Co-
Evening journal., 1915-03-22
DONTS
Written for THE EVENING JOUR.
NAL by James I. Crozicr.

Don't ever let your passion rise
10 say unkindly things.
Don't show TO any angry eyes,
That passion always brings.
Don't speak a word that viii bring
shame.
Don't say bad words TO mother.
Just try 10 keep up your good name,
With this one and the other
BE always kind -bc always meek.
Don't quarrel with your brother.
IL he should smito you on one cheek,
Just turn 10 him the other.
Don't YOU refuse il asked by wife
To please wash up the dishes,
Don't dare TO do so on your life,
You should obey her wishes.
Don't ever go home full Of beer,
Don't ever stay out late.
Don't ever tell her she is queer.
Or try TO fabricate
Just kiss her. tell her she's all right
Don't fail 10 hand your pay
To her, and when you're late some
night.
She won't have much to say.
Don't do one single thing that's wrong
Don fail TO pay your debts.
There's lots of people move along.
Who such things Oft forget.
There's many don'ts I want to say,
And here's one surely nice.
Don't fail on next election day
To vote for James F. Price.
Evening journal., 1915-03-22

PARIS. March 5.-(By Mail to New
York; French science has again
come to the aid of the wounded in the
present war. Bullets and shrapnol
fragments deeply imbedded in the
flesh can now be extracted without the
deep probing and incisions formerly
necessary.
The new method Of bringing these
projectiles TO the surface Of the flesh
by means of electric magnets has just
been presented to the Academy of
Medicine by Professor Bergonie the
discoverer. AS practically all bullets
and shrapnels used in modern war
fare are of steel they are capable Of
being magnetized and are subject to
magnetic influence
Professor Bergonic simply applies
TO the outside of the wound highly
potential magnetic current This
suffices to dislodge the proiectile from
the flesh and bring II gradually TO-
wards the surface. To prevent any
further tearing of the flesh the cur
rent IS applied only for few sec
onds each day and the proiectile Is
drawn so gradually towards the sur
face as to cause neither irritation MOI
pain Finally only a slight superb
clal incision Of the surgeons knife is
necessary for the final extraction
The method is TO be introduced al
once in the military hospitals all
through France
Evening journal., 1915-03-22
Federal AGENTS
SEEK Statistics
Manufacturers Census Will
be Made Only Once in
Ten Years
FIRST REPORT
OF IT'S KIND

Joseph S. Daley, of Hartley; Frank
Wingate, of Dover and George II. Nc
Govern, of this city. agents in the SER
vice of the federal bureau OF census,
in the department of commerce. Wash
ing, arc at work how obtaining statis-
tics from manufacturers of the Della
ware district pertaining TO the char
actcr Of their products. their capitali-
zstion, the salaries paid their em-
ploycs and TO the kind Of corporation
This will be the first report of thi.
kind made by the feder. government
and will be made only every 10 years
These agents will be in this district
for the next several weeks TO canvass
among the manufacturers of the yari
Gus concerns The work will cover q