The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1915-08-06
1.-THE FIXER"
ANAL AMATES
THE CHURCHES
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Y our Fixer having startled the peo-
pie with his church story last week,
must add to it this week in order to
keep out of a hole that might be dug
for him. There is but one postoffice
in town the size of Caldwell and one
church could do the business very
nicely, and just as satisfactory as does
the one postofice.
We could have one preacher in
charge of it all, and let the others be
mail carriers, clerks, etc. OF course
there is sense in which the church
work is like the commercial life, the
stores, ct. We have the hardware
store, the dry goods store, the gents
furnishing store, etc, and often two
or three of kind. These little mer-
chants would not welcome the sug-
gestion to shut up shop and all clerk
TOR some one else, SO there is sense
in which Varney would not like to go
clerl<ing for Case and Ewing would
not like to clerk for Sias and Sias
would not like to get his walking pa
pers from Case, etc. But the Great
Commission to the church people for
babe carrying only a part of the stock
in trade; the church was told TO carry
the whole stock or none.
Now if the Baptist church is the
gents furnishing store, the Presby-
terians the hardware store, the Christ
ian church the dry goods department,
and the Methodist church the grocery
store, and some other church the rack
ct store, and still others the variety
store, and they all insist upon doing
! business from that standpoint, there
is good-sized African in the wood
pile somewhere. If each of these
churches is carrying the whole stock
in trade, their difference can only be
in definition and prices. That brings
the matter back TO Webster and
amounts to but very little after all.
We are told in scripture that a
church has all the organs Of the body,
like fingers and ears and feet and eyes
and hands. That it is a crippled insti-
tuition if one organ is missing. Now
suppose for illustration that the toes
are all off worshipping in one of
Caldwell's churches, the fingers all off
i'll another church, going through with
its wailtng and suffering that it calls
worship and still another church is
all eyes and another all ears, where
ard each ear knows full we'll that it
possesses every attribute of toe or
an ear or an eye, but is it going to
stand out for crippling the body COM
plcte? That's all toe or an ear or
an eye would be expected to know
ahout anything.
saw man the other day without
legs walking down the streets. He
made me think of the Body of Christ
here in town. gripping along on its
ear. OF course, your Fixer admits
that there are some things that will
need TO he changed. before all this
dGvout day can be ushered in The
Baptists will need to go through all
their hymns and kill a few songs For
instance: I'D rather be a Baptist and
wear shining face, than for TO be a
Methodist and always fall from grace"
would need to be left out of future
hymn issues.
The Methodist bishops insistent
idea that orthodoxy is strictluy a
Methodist production while Hetero-
doxy belongs to ali other denomina-
tons, will need to be adulterated
somewhat.
The Presbyterian platform in con-
nection with church union will need to
be altered just a mite. When the dig
nitary was discussing getting together
with other churches and said: "the
leaders are ready any time, but them
asses will be difficult to control" he
had just another way round about
Them asses are ready any time to
coaIesce, but the leaders hold back
Their harness about which they love
to boast, consists in pair of hold,