Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1915-11-06
CHORDS AND
DISCORDS
BILLYs LETTERS.

wen Tell you tuat NE anu SSA 10 oo@Ai'
the best OF frens. I knowed rite along
that she was for me but was afraid
that maybe her Nav was trying to
with our affairs bekose my
bank acct diddent look big enough for
her Me and Nav had long talk
about society and she give me to un-
derstand that JeH was moving in a set
Of young foxes that made it necessary
for young man who wanted to court
her to have the polish that wood carry
him threw with credit to hisself and
to her daughter, Nav asked me ali
about my past life and 1 tolled her as
much as | could remember. She is one
of them women what gets you in a
corner and does all the talking Wonce
or twice I thot she was going to give
ne a waliop She waves her hands
wen she talks. / believe she is one OF
them suffergists Onpy she makes
others suffer insted Of suffering her
self Jen was doing fancy work wen
Nav was delivering her curtain lecture
TO me. Jen never once raised her
glims to encourage me, But wen Nav
got threw she patted me on the back
and sed I acted like a little man |
guess she likes TO listen to her own
conversashun, for l never got a word
in edgewise. The best ] could do
was nod my noodle. That was last
Tuesday
Friday mite NE and Jen went to al
air that was some swell. I borrowed
me a dress SCOT, and Chas, you ought
to see me. The SCOT fits so snugly that
you would think it was built for me. /
should have said that I rented the
SCOT You know that's what most Of
them chaps does what you sees at par
ties I tolled the merchant from who
I got the SCOT that If things went well
I would take the SCOT over for keeps.
I must tell you about the party
Chas. There was 20 gests, The Jane
at whose house We had the feast has
been leading grand balls for more sea
sons than she'll admit you can bank
on that. but she's one Of them kittenish
kind what tries to cut up like If she
was is. Wen we all got seated al the
table one bum that l never did like
asked me If / wossent working mites
no more or il / had laid off to come
TO the party You know, Chas, l was
on the mite shift for about two yrs,
tut I worked hard and the boss finely
give me a day jon. This bum what
tried 10 make me feel cheap hassent
got no more repetashun than a rabbit
but he gets by bekose he has good par
ents what supplies him with clothes
and money. They was a nervous kid
sitting alongside me. I thot at first
they must have been something stick
ing her the way she fused around in
her chair After she took her first
drink Of water she giggled as though
she had got on the outside Of a pint
of bubble goods. Of course Jen was
with ME. but I had to be nice to the
dainty doll on the other side OF me Her
name was Vive. She came with d Ion
necked guy what seemed to be afraid
TO turn his head for fear he would
cut hisself with his collar. He kept
looking a. the wall paper and the
pitchers most OF the evening. and
thot perhaps he was getting soar al
me
was Just as sure as anything that
Niye was going to spill the beans be
fore the mite was over. and sure
enough she started dropping things on
the foar The first weapon TO get
away from her was d soup spoon. She
blamed it on the soup. She said il was
so hot she just naturally let go OF the
spoon, / got the soup. That is the
trousers Of the dress SCOT what does
not belong to nbe got it. In order 10
be gallant | stopped down to get the
spoon off the fi0ar Cnas, ! termed a
lesson | never will forget. Wen you gel
dress SCOT give it a thorough test
befoar you go into company, 0ekose
when You bend you never know what
lis going TO happen. Well, Chas / lost
both buttons off the back Of my trous-
ers. my back collar button busted, let
ting my collar climb up around my
ears, and they was a ripping report
from another section Of my anatomy
that made it advisable that I he the
last one 10 leave the room when the
hostess announced that the parade
would head for the library where We
bad music to wind up the evening
They is one thing about a dress SCOT
what has saved more than one man
It's the long tail Il surely saved me
/ got d seat in the rear of the room
and l held it until it was time to start
for home.
asked Jen who footed the bill for
the party and she said that the boss
tess father did / must Of eat four dol
lars worth myself. They was 90 Of Us
at the table. Now you can figure it uE
yourself. Jen said they was a nice SCI
Of young folks and we was lucky to
be counted among them. She said hel
father was opposed to social d0ings
hut that her mother was not So that
she could not give any big affairs al
her home She said when it come ouI
turn 10 entertain we could have a
theatre party, or something like that
and put the finishing touches on ii
with dinner at one Of the cafes
Chas, do you suppose Jen meant thai
that theatre party and feed what she
has on her mind is to be paid for by
me- That's how it sounded to me
But then it will be long time before