davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
INDIGESTION, GAS
Or SICK STOMACH
Time it! Pape's DiapepsIn ENDS
all Stomach misery in rive
minutes.

Do some foods you eat MT oa0"
taste good, but work badly; 1ei'len'
into stubborn Jumps and cause eioh'
sour, gassy stomach? Now, MI VI
Mrs. Dyspeptic, jot this down: rape y
Diapepsin digests everything leaving
nothing to sour and upset you lueie
never was anything so safely qulch' ~
certainly effective. No difference no"
badly your stomach is disordered you
will get happy relief in five minutes y
but what pleases you most Is tna' II
STRENGTHENS and regulates your stoln
ach so you can eat your favorite tooos
without fear.
You feel different as soon as rape o
Diapepsin" comes in contact WIN 'le
stomach-distress just vanlshes-youi
stomach gets sweet, no gases, no pe'el'
ing, no quotations of undigested loou.
Go now, make the best investment
YOU ever made by getting a large MY
cent case Of Pape's Diapepsln from any
store. You realize in five minutes DO"
needless it Is 10 suffer from indiges-
ton. dyspepsia or bad stomach. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
His Frame of Mind,

Ihe horse had run away and was
tangled up in the wire fence at the
side of the muddy road. Its half-wit-
ted owner had kicked and sworn and
tried to lift the animal until he was
out of sorts and covered with mud.
A well-groomed man came along,
took in the situation, and suggested:
Spring the fence back, then he can
get his feet free"
ASss e~ner" or the horse did as he
NSaold. Now give him a cut with
the whip and he'll get up himself"
This the owner did. Then he looked
at the horse, up and ready for travel,
looked at himself covered with mud,
and looked at the immaculate gentle
man in the road. Wrath filled his
soul.
WELL" he grumbled, thank you
just as much as If you'd helped me-"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
TAKE SALTS TO FLUSH
KIDNEYS IF BACK HURTS
Says Too Much Meat Forms Uric Acid
Which Clogs the Kidneys and
lrritates the Bladder.

Most folks forget that the kidneys,
like the bowels, get sluggish and clog.
ged and need a flushing occasionally,
else we have backache and dull misery
in the kidney region, severe head
aches, rheumatic twinges, torpid liver,
acid stomach, sleeplessness and all
sorts of bladder disorders.
You simply must keep your kidneys
active and clean, and the moment you
feel an ache or pain in the kidney
region, get about four ounces of Jad
Salts from any good drug store here
take q tablespoonful in glass of
water before breakfast for few days
and your kidneys will then act 1 ans
This famous salts is MADE
acid of grapes and lemon Joiee' eonA'
bfned with Hti1fa, and Is harmless to
flush clogged kidneys and stimulate
them to normal activity. 1t also neu-
tralizes the acids in the urine so it
no longer irritates, thus ending blad.
der disorders.
Jad Salts is harmless; inexpensive;
makes delightful effervescent lithia-
water drink which everybody should
take now and then to keep their kid.
neys clean, thus avoiding serious com.
plications.
A well-known local druggist says he
sells lots of Jad Salts to folks who be.
leve in overcoming kidney trouble
while it is only trouble.-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
BILIOUS, HEADACRY,
SICK q CASCARETS'
Gently cleanse your liver and
sluggish bowels while
you sleep.
Get q 10.cent box,

Sick headache, biliousness, dizzi.
ness, coated tongue, foul taste and foul
breath-always trace them to torpid
liver; delayed, fermenting food il the
bowels or sour, gassy stomach.
Poisonous matter clogged in the IN.
testines, instead of being cast out
Of the system is re-absorbed into the
blood. When this poison reaches the
delicate brain tissue it causes con.
gestion and that dull, throbbing, sick.
ening headache.
Cascarets Immediately cleanse the
stomach. remove the sour, undigested
food and foul gases, take the excess
bile from the liver and carry out all
the constipated waste matter and
poisons in the bowels.
A Cascaret tonight will surely
straighten you out by morning They
work while you sleep-a 10.cent box
from your druggist means your head
clear, stomach sweet and your liver
and bowels regular for months. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
GRANDMA USED SAGE TEA
TO DARKEN HER GRAY HAIR
She Made Up Mixture Of Sage Tea
and Sulphur to Bring Back Color,
Gloss, Thickness.

Almost everyone knows that Sage
Tea and Sulphur, properly compound
cd, brings back the natural color and
lustre to the hair when faded, streaked
or gray; also ends dandruff, itching
scalp and stops falling hair. Years
ago the only way to get this mixture
was to make it at home, which Is
mussy and troublesome. Nowadays,
by asking at any store for "Wyeth's
Sage and Sulphur Hair Remedy" you
will get a large bottle Of the famous
old recipe for about so cents.
Don't stay gray! Try it! No one
can possibly tell that you darkened
your hair, as it does 1t so naturally
and evenly. You dampen a sponge or
soft brush with it and draw this
through your hair, taking one small
strand at time, by morning the gray
hair disappears. and after another ap-
plication or two, your hair becomes
beautifully dark, thick and glossy
Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

spoonful and If it doesn't straighten
you right up and make you feel fine
and vigorous want you to 60 back to
the store and get your money. bod.
sons Liver Tone is destroying the
sale Of calomel because it is real liver
medicine; entirely vegetable, therefore
1t cannot salivate or make you sick.
| guarantee that one spoonful OF
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean your
bowels Of that sour bile and consti.
pated waste which is clogging your
system and making you feel miserable.
| guarantee that bottle Of Dodson's
Liver Tone will keep your entire fam.
lily feeling fine for months. Give 1t to
your children. 1t is harmless; doesn't
grippe and they like It's pleasant taste.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
CAL0MEL WHEN BILIOUS? MO-! STOP!
ACTS LIKE DYNAMITE ON LIVER
guarantee "Dodsons Liver Tone Will Give You the Best Liver
ana Bowel Cleansing You Ever Had-Doesnt Make You Sick

Stop using calomel. 1t makes you
SICK. Don't lose days work. If you
feel lazy, sluggish bilious or consti.
pated, listen to me.
'alomel is mercury or quicksilver
which causes necrosis OF the bones
oalomel, when It comes into contact
with sour bile crashes into it, breaking
II up. This Is when you feel that aw-
iul nausea and cramping. If you feel
all knocked out" if your liver is tor.
pld and bowels constipated or you
nave headache, dizziness, coated
tongue, If breath Is bad or stomach
sour just try spoonful of harmless
LCdson's Liver Tone.
Here's my guarantee-Go to any
drug store or dealer and get a 5O-cent
bottle or Dodson's Liver Tone. Take a
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Strange Scorpion Found,

A curious, strange specimen of liz.
ara or scorpion was captured by Wal.
ter |. Todd near the trolley station
of the Chambersburg, Greencastle &
Waynesboro Street Railway company
at Highfield, Pa. The reptile, or what
not, was about eight inches in length
and the color of brick dust. 1t was
found lying on the ground only few
feet from the station and, on account
of the rain and cool weather, was un.
able to use its locomotive powers very
actively and was easily captured
The reptile had an elongated body
without scale four short legs and
short tail, anu It's body was almost as
tough as rubber. Where it came from
no one seems to know.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Mr.. BUSBY AS A HUMORIST
or Course It Doesn't Often Happen,
But on This Occasion He
Failed to Score.

Busby-l see tn Turks have been
kicking up tn sand around the Suez
canal.
Mrs. B. (faintly Interested Some
religious ceremony?
Busby-No-o-o! It's war. They're
hghting. The report from Berlin says
they've licked tn British army to a
frazzle. 1t looks as if the canal would
fall into tn Turks hands. ..t
Mrs. B. tcalmly)-l csn't
soou II "ou!a i.d seeu up to his Climax
-sy, S4hey'd loot it.
Mrs. B. (innocently)-Of what?
Busby (triumphantlyl-Of the hard
ware. They'd take the locks, of course.
Ha, ha, ha!"
A brief silence ensues.
Mrs. Busby (sweetly)-But there
are no locks in the Suez canal.
And 1t wasn't any consolation to
Busby to remember that he had no
one but himself to blame.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Ammunition Used in Mar.

How much ammunition does a mod
ern army use? We shall not know
until after the war what the German
and the allied forces have been ex-
pending; but We know what the Ger
mans used In 1901. The total for
rifles was 100000 cartridges for
field artillery $4,000 rounds. It Is
worth noting that battles are much
less costly in ammunition than sieges.
The siege of strassburg alone cost
weight for weight, three times the
amount of ammunition used in all the
decisive battles and actions through
out the whole war. OF course these
hgures are a mere bagatelle COM
pared with those of the present strug.
gle, with its millions of soldiers and
us qulck-firing guns and it's week-long
Observation-Disclosures Guardian.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
$40 you No Hurry.

$40 yuu No Hurry.
ments?" he asked, after she had con-
scented to be his.
yes, dearest" she replied. Il have
always thought 1t was such mistake
for two people to rush into matrimony
before they learned to really know
each other"
well, about how long would you
wish the engagement to be-"
Let me see. Would you think it
was too long If we didn't get married
until a week from next Thursday?"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Mark of 100 for SAMMY"

Sammy April, the small boy who
supplies President Wilson with news.
papers, called on Secretary Tumulty
and asked him what he thought Of
Mr.. Wilson's message to congress.
Mr.. Tumulty Immediately launched
into laudatory discussion Of the sub
ject. When he had talked few min
utes, he paused and asked: But why
do you ask, Sammy"
Il have to write compositienfho
it in school tomorrow, , ICON come to
boy and l th4 c ne information"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
HERE IS A GOOD WAY
TO GET RID OF PlMPlES

Battle your face for several minutes
with resinol soap and hot water, then
apply a little resinol ointment very
gently. Let this stay on ten minutes,
and wash off with resinol soap and
more hot water, finishing with dash
of cold water to close the pores. Do
this once or twice day, and you will
be astonished to find how quickly the
healing, antiseptic reainol- medication
soothes and cleanses the pores, re-
moves pimples and blackheads, and
leaves the complexion clear and vel
vety. All druggists sell resinol soap
and resinol ointment.-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Wasted Dress,

Clarence-Did you wead that the
deuced dyes they use to color clothing
will no longer be obtainable because
of the horrid wah?
Reggie-Dear, dear! What's a fellow
to do? Dwess in black?
Clarence-If. we are to dwess In
black / shall feel almost sorry mothah
didn't insist upon making me clergy
man, don't you know?-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Not a Misdemeanor,

Colonel Carter had been playing golf
for but three months. Therefore, when
the secretary of the club saw the colo
mel playing his ball several feet in
front of the tee disks during tourna-
ment he thought the veteran soldier
had forgotten the rules.
Colonel! Colonel," he exclaimed,
"you must play from behind the tee
disks"
The colonel's face turned red, but
he preserved his dignity.
Its none of your business, sah," he
answered as calmly as possible, "but
this Is my third ke!"-Collier' s
Weekly.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Somethinn In This Name.

SVTHctnIn9 IN MS MAINE.
In New York teacher found that
a HUE negro girl was named Fertiliz-
er Johnson.
"Areyou sure that Fertilizer is your
right name?" she asked.
yes a'am," replied the little girl.
Wei tell your mother to come
shA hesn6ther cams ,.sr,.--.v-.
Eyes; Fertilizer is right" she said.
You see, named her after her father
and mother both. Her fathers name is
Ferdinand and my name is Liza, so we
called her Fertilizer"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Wonders Of Science.

A French scientist says that the bill
lions Of cubic feet of heated gas that
have been shot into the upper air
since the first Of August have been
displaced by cold air from the north
pole, thus causing the early freeze
along the battle line. On the same
theory It may be that the safe and
sane Fourth of July crusade was to
blame for our hot summer.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Few Survivors Left.

II wonder why there are so many
more borrowers than lenders IN TINS
world?"
The explanation is most simple
my dear fellow. Fully 80 per cent are
born borrowers and always remain
such and the few who start in as lend
ers are soon driven into the other
class"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
She Remembered.

Mamma" said little Lauretta, Aunt
Mary is getting awfully fat, isn't she?'
ut isn't polite to say fat dear. You
should say Stout reJoined her moth.
er.
At dinner that evening when she
was asked what kind of meat she
would like, Lauretta replied: "A lit
tie of the lean and little OF the
stout, please"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
True to Type.

The Customer-These grand opera
monograph records are no good. l
can't get anything out of half of them.
The Salesman-They are our finest
achievement. You never can tell when
these records will sing. They're so
temperamental-Lo Opinion.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Accounted For.

"How do you like my new fence?"
"I'd like It better If the pickets
were an equal distance apart. What's
the idea of building 1t like that?"
1.-THE only man l could get to build
It suffered"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
COLDS & LaGRIPPE

5or 6 doses 666 will break any case
OF Chills & Fever, Colds & LaGrippe;
1t acts on the liver better than Gallo.
mel and does not grippe or sicken.
Price 25c-Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
She kent Her Vow.

GLADYS vowed she would never live
to be gray-haired."
"She has kept her oath. found her
in a dyeing condition
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
No Failure Is Final.

One of Napoleons marshal is said
to have approached him on the battle
field and exclaimed:
General, fear that the battle Is
lost"
Napoleon coolly looked at his watch
and replied:
Time for another battle Summon
the army to fresh charge"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Substitution.

Deacon Jones-Do you keep the
Sabbath, sir?
Druggist Bllnks--No, no, sir, but /
have something just as good
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Awaiting the Outcome.

Awaiting the Outcome.
"The folks at our hotel are greatly
interested in a problem"
What is it?''
AN irresistible blonde has just met
an immovable bachelor" Judge.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
The Rank,

"They took that Junior officer on
the ship to command the torpedo
boat"
Il guess that was because he was
a sub marine
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Not Ready.

put on your helmet an your red
shirt, Silas, there's big fire down the
road piece" ny shirts in
"Shucks! eanstofd woman's out in
the wasfuf film my helmet with a
hess of beans "-Birmingham Age
Herald.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
It Depends.

II UepehoS.
Don't you like girl of cheer.
full disposition? One who always goes
singing about her work."
No; that Is the reason we moved
from our last fiat"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

The cheapest literature Is the Con-
gressional Record: they are turning 1t
out now by the cord.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

Most particular women use Red Cross
Ball Blue. American made. Sure to please.
At all good grocers. Adv.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

The optimist rejoices that the world
Is full of sunshine. So does the avn
ing maker
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

Many school boys life is made
miserable by trying to learn the multi.
plication table.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

A married woman says that the per.
fectly devoted husbands have their
habitat in books.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
When Talk Begins.

Hostess-People are very dull to-
night. really can't get them to talk.
Host-Play something. dearest.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Bye Remedy for Red. Veal. Wstery
iust I'VE comfort. Write for Book OF the Eye
by mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

You can always tell good friend
from the fact that he generally keeps
his opinions to himself.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Its Kind.

What's call money!"
What you pay telephone bills
with. Baltimore American.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
A Gentle Hint.

He-Once for all, / demand to
know who is master of this house?
She-Youll be happier If you don't
find out.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Not at All.

"I've noticed one thing"
"And what Is that"
mo matter how often tough citi-
zen gets stewed. 1t doesn't seem to
make him tender"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
lns and Outs

lns and Outs.
Smith is on the outs with our club"
"Well?"
$50 he's got 1t In for us"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
The Shocks of Football.

The Shocks of Football.
How rough this sport of football
is! What shocks of irresistible bod
ies!"
"Humph! What shocks of irresisti-
BILE hair!"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

A man would rather have fortune
smile on him than give him the laugh.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

One way to sidetrack bad luck is to
be prepared for 1t.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
Physical Objections.

LET me take you apart"
"You cant. I'm all broken up as 1t
Is"
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01

important to Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that It
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-01-01
INTERNATIONAL.
SUNINYS0lOOL
LESSON
LESSON FOR JANUARY 3
GODS PATIENCE WITH ISRAEL.
By E. o. SELLERS, Acting Director Of
Sunday School Course)

LESSON TEXT-Judges 2:7-19.
GOLDEN TEXT will heal their back
Lilding. will love them freely.-Hos, H4.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1915-03-09
EDITOR
A VISITOR HAWAII SHOULD SECURE

An excellent suggestion has been made that
DR.. A. c. True, director of experiment stations
in the department of agriculture, should be In
yited to Hawaii with the party of Congressman
and other officials coming in May.
A visit from DIR. True would be distinctly in
order at any time, since the federal government
maintains an important experiment station and
allied branches in this territory. A visit from
him at this particular time would be highly
beneficial There is on foot plan to amalga-
mate the experiment station and the College
of Hawaii-to work out system in eonjunc-
ton with the territorial work The arguments
for the plan have been ably presented and
passed upon by the Chamber of Commerce.
Congressional action will be needed to perfect
the plan and it may not meet with favor in the
department of agriculture unless good deal
of first-hand information is placed before the
office of experiment stations. To secure visit
from the director of that office would be the
best possible move. i
The federal government IS interest in Hawaii
is close and vital 1t may be taken for granted
that the department Of agriculture or any other
department desires to do what is best for the
territory. If there is an argument as to what
is best in the present instance personal in
spection will be the quickest and most salts
factory way of getting theory and facts coz
Ordinated
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1915-03-09
|ADMIRALS Will
| HOLD RANK ONLY
During COMMAND


Rear-Admiral C. q. T. Moore has
received cablegram from the navy
department briefing the contents of
the naval appropriation bill OF spe-
cial interest to Hawaii is the fact that
the high power radio station at Pearl
Harb0r is not eliminated.
Following is copy of the message.
In skeleton form
Appropriation bill passed both
houses with following important pro-
visions: Establishes chief Of naval
operations, one million for aeronaut-
ics, advisory aeronautics committees
established. Marine Barracks. Nor
folk, Va, and Mare Island, Cal Pluck.
ing hoard abolished, no substitute.
Officers retired plucking board may
be reinstated by President in the next
two years. Extra numbers Restores
Col. Perkins. Extra pay ayiators, 35
per cent for officers: per cent for
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1915-03-09

men. Establishes nGvaI reserve. Com
mander.in-chief Atlantic. Pacific and
Asiatic fleets to be admirals. second n
command yice-admirals. total three
admirals, three yice-admirals. pay
s10, 900 and $4,000 dollars respectively,
designated by the President. hold
rank only while in command Greats
no vacancies: return to original rank
when relieved. Pay Clerks bin pass
ed, status same as warrant officers
Provides for "a additional naval con
structors. not more than five per year,
High power radio stations Sea pay
marines increased 10 per cent for OF.
ficers; 20 per cent for men. Increase
marine corps 20 gunnery sergeants.
20 sergeants, 20 corporals; decreases
priyates lie. Authorizes construction
OF six destfoyers, 80 knots. Two sea.
going submarines, % knots; JIG coast
defense submarines. One oil fuel shin,
two battleships. Following thrown
out: Hobson amendment, purchase
armor-piercing shell plant for manu-.
featuring proiectiles; provision for SO
per cent sea duty for promotion; re.
tired officers assigned shore duty;
construction one gunboat; one hospital
ship; armor plate factory. &
(Signe6 DANIELS. z
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1915-03-09
TEACHERS PENSIONS.

theoretically, at least, the teachers pension
idea is a sound one. The present bill before the
house Of representatives may or may not con-
tain the best method Of administering it but
the general principle is good and eventually
some sort of system should be enacted
School teachers are proverbially underpaid
and overworked. On their salaries they mani
testify are unable to save enough to support
them when the terrible strain Of the classroom
has compelled them to- retire. The alterna-
|tives for those without an Independent income
are dependence on others IN their old age or
change at an early age to some more profitable
occupation. The first is repugnallt because the
pauperization Of public servants must be re-
pugnant: the latter is detrimental to the school
system because teaeher's efficiency in most
cases is in some proportion to his or her length
of service.
The mechanical problems of administering a
pension are difficult, however, and the legis-
lature should go slow. Thousands Of dollars
of the public's money and public employees
money has been wasted in other communities
because systems have been established without
any study or knowledge Of conditions Let the
Legislators find out first whether the teachers
of the territory want pension, then what kind
they want. Then with the aid Of experts the
lawmakers can devise fund that will stand.
This probably means no legislation at the
present session which is better than unwise
Legislation.