davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
SCOTCH CAPABLE OF BULLS"
Some Good Stories That Have Been
Fastened on Inhabitants of the
"land O. Cakes"

Even in our day, residents Of the
British isles are rarely well informed
upon the geography Of "the states"
Perhaps, too, since we live In coun-
try that boasts long list Of Troys.
Romes, Athenses, not to mention Gin
cinnati and an occasional Cato or
Plato, we should not be surprised
when anyone assumes that anything
else in Greek or Latin Is properly in
digenous to our map
A Glasgow merchant and magistrate
Of century ago, SO MI. D. Macleod
Malloch records. had sent to a certain
mercantile house in New York a con-
signment of goods that remained long
undisposed Of. In response to his in
quiries, he was informed that they
were still in statu quo. He passed on
the information to a neighbor, who re-
marked suspiciously, But I never
heard Of the place"
"Nor I, either" replied the good
bailie, confdentially. Il looked at the
map, but / couldna find it; and l just
conclude it's a sma' town up in the
hntra."
The simplicity and ignorance OF the
rural Scotch magistrate often quite
equaled that of the English, immortal
lied by Shakespeare in Dogberry; and
Mr. Malloch gives two more veritable
examples quite in the true Dogberry
vein.
That is most tragical event which
has just happened" said a friend to
Bailie Blank. Your neighbor, Mr..
B., has committed suicide!"
VIVA on?" inquired the bailie, Gag
erly.
Perhaps it was he-it was certainly
another Glasgow bailie-who, his
health being proposed at a banquet in
honor Of his recent dignity, responded
nobly to the toast:
u Gamma but say, ma friends, that
I'm proud of the honor of being made
a bailie of this great city; and I'm
even, think, entitled to the honor, for
I've gone through all the various
stages Of degradation that bailie has
tae dae tae reach it."-Youth's Com
panion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
HE Stock In Trade.


The nervous little man next to the
car window sized up the fat man who
shared the seat with him and venture6
the inquiry:
"How's businessT'
Cant complain" said the other la
conically.
What do you deal IMP
"Mothers-in-law, billygoats. tramps
the weather. stranded actors. candi
dates. politics and the like"
"Whattyye tryin' to do?" snarled th'
nervous little man. Tryin' to kid
meY
Nope" the fat man grinned- 1.-THE
things l have named in a large meas
ure comprise my stock in trade. Yor
see, my dear sir. am a professional
writer Of jokes and anecdotes. =
Youngstown Telegram.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Modern Business,

Oh, business, what sins are com
mitted in thy name! Thou art like
charity, for thy magic formula doth
cover a multitude of sins" Many
are the men who fall down and wor
ship thee land none other)! Not only
time and talent, but hearts blood are
sacrificed on thine impious altar.
Thy shrines are cold with dead loves
reeking with forfeited joys. Mercy
and pity are vanished far from the
portals of thy temples. Sweet char
ity falls dead, stricken by the glare
Of thy polished brass. Thou slayest
ideals and murderest sympathy and
dost crowd the spirit OF service out
of the road Of life. Thou killest with
surfeit and mad passion of contest;
thou dost suffocate the timid and weak
with want and fear Of age. hunger and
infirmity. Thou art blasphemous
arrogant, heartless idol and tyrant OF
man.-Rev. G. l. Browne.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Easily Explained.

An esteemed city resident was ram.
bling through the country when he
came across a farmer busily engaged
with a hammer and saw and a can
Of paint.
Another building boom, see,' jov.
tally remarked the city man, hating
to watch the work. rs 1t garage or
miniature bungalow"
Wrong on both counts, mister,
answered Uncle Josh, continuing his
work. This here thing is chicken
COOP"
"A chicken coop, eh?" returned the
city man, with a closer look. Why
do you paint the inside of it,"
Have ter do it, mister" solemnly
declared Uncle Josh. That's ter
keep the hens from pickin' the grain
out O. the wood. "-Philadelphia Tele.
graph.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
PROVERBS THAT ARE VICIOUS
There 10 Usually Trouble for Some.
body When One of These Is
Quoted.

There are some proverbs that are
used only to bolster unworthy thoughts
or words or actions. Here is one of
them: Charity begins at home. OF
course it does, but no one says that
to himself, or says it out loud, who
does not wish to excuse some mean
and parsimonious action, the Chris
tian Endeavor World states Every
really generous man will of course be-
gin his charities at home; but he will
never think of mentioning the fact as
a reason for not giving and doing all
that he can for people and causes out
side his home
Business is business. To be sure 1t
is, but no one deems it necessary to
state that fact unless he is doing or
intends to do some hard, cold and I'M
feeling thing. When cruel landlord
intends to turn a widow and her fam
lily into the street, he is very likely
to remark as he proceeds to do it,
Business is business If promoter
seeks to work of some worthless
stocks on an unsuspecting victim, he
is likely to remark that business is
business and that every one must
look out for himself" II a money
shark forecloses on poor man who
cannot pay an exorbitant interest, he
is sure to tell you with much solem-
nifty that, though it is hard, yet "busi-
ness is business
We must play the game. This
though sometimes used in good
sense, often means in business par
lance that we must be as mean and
sharp and untrustworthy as other bad
men. They are playing the game;
and, II we would not lose, we must
play it, too. They have no conscience
in financial transactions; so we must
smother ours. They bow down to the
money god; so must we, or we shall
get left In the dollar race.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02

WESTBOUND from Woodstock.
No. 23-Daily-2:O9 a. m. Loca
for Barrisonburg. Arrive Harrison
burg $50. a. IN.
No. 49-Daily-12:5s p. m. Loca
for Harrisonburg. Arrive Harrison
burg 2::30 p. m. Buffet Parlor Car.
No. IL = Daily = $40 D. III
Local for Harrisonburg. Arriv,
Harrisonburg 1915 p. m.
EASTBOUND-from Woodstock.
No. IL Daily $50 a. NJ
Lnmited for Alexandria and Washing
ton. Arrive Washington 1850 a. NJ
Buffet Parlor Car.
NO. 28-Daily-4:26 p. N. Loca
for Alexandria and Washington
Arrive Washington 9:I5 p. N. Buffe
Farlor Car.
No. "a = Daily 6:55 D. m
Local from Harrisonburg to Stras
burg. Arrive Strasburg 7:30 p. m.
E. n. COAPMAN, Vice-President anG
General Manager.
W q TAYLoE, Passenger Traffic
MaLag
4. +. CARY, General Passenger Agt.
Z. w. WEsTBURY, Gen. Agent,
Washington, D. G.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Chesterfield Outcome.

Wonderful" said Dubbson, enthusl'
astically, as he gazed at the new Carr
away baby.
do you wonder am proud OF him!
said Mrs. Garraway.
mo, madam. | do not" said Duoo'
son. Indeed, realize more than ever
now the truth of the old saying tnal
4 womans browning glory is her heas'
Judge.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Peculiar lncubatory.

China is probably the only country
where an incubator and bed are EN-
ployed in combination, but IN the
Shantung district this sight is com
mon. Chickens are for the most part
Matched by a native process OF lncu'
baton, consisting in placing eggs IN
earthenware jars, which are set upon
konps or beds built of brick and clay
and within which slow fires, generally
of coke or charcoal, are kept burning
The eggs are carefully turned from
time to time. The kongs used are
generally those which serve the family
for beds, each family throughout the
country districts rearing number OF
chickens in this way
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02

Pu' your savings in the Savings
Dep tn1ent of the Shenandoah Val
ley / can and Trust Co., Woodstock,
Va. at per cent compound interest.
Amoants Of $1.00 and upwards re.
ceivea. The only savings institu-
ton in the county for the accomuls-
ton of the small savings of laboring
men. women. and children.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
WEIGHT of Air,

There is no uniform weight for air.
For instance, say the weight of cubic
foot of air at sea level is LOO grains,
with the pressure removed, by its ele'
walton to an altitude of 10000 feet, its
weight would be about the half OF
100 grains. In other words, the cubic
foot at ten or twelve thousand feet
above the sea would expand to two
cubic feet, each of about $50 grains
weight.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Coughs and Colds
Not to Be Neglected

Anyone will realize the seriousness
OF neglecting cold if he observes
results Of such neglect among his
acquaintance. How often have you
heard, He caught cold. didn't do any,
thing for it and it turned into"-then
some dreaded disease is named.
Ordinary colds yield to prompt
treatment at the beginning. That is
why every family should be supplied
with reliable cough medieine-one
that will heal raw and inf1amed sur
faces. loosen the phlegm, allay irri-
tation, ease the hoarseness and stop
the tickling sensation in the throat
that does not permit one to sleep.
Foley's Honey and Tar Compound
is invaluable for relief of coughs,
colds, Group, whooping cough, tick
ling in throat, tightness or soreness,
grippe or bronchial coughs. It con-
tains no harmful ingredients. 1t is
healing, soothing, efficient and pleas.
ing.
WALTOh kSNnCT
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Girl Markers In Ianan.

The number Of factory girls newly
recruited every year in Japan is 2OO,-
600, of whom only $4,000 go home. The
remaining 10000 never return. They
go from one factory to another or go
into other occupations. never thinking
of going home-Werld of Labor.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
TO Persons Who Wish to Drive

Having enlarged my Livery by add
ing number of riding and driving
horses and number of easy riding
rubber tire buggies. we are in posi-
ton to put out teams to order having
81 vehicles in all making q complete
livery equipment We know we can
pie. St you.
NV # J. e. BEMIS. Propr.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
One and Two,

Charming Widow-And what are you
doing nowadays? Mr.. Bach-Looking
out for number one And you?
Charming Widow-Oh. I'm looking out
for number tw0l-Houston Post.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02

Invest you money IN the per cent
Certificates of the Shen. Valley Loan
g. Trust Co., Woodstock, Va. Sc
curity unquestioned. Interest pay
able miannually, and Certificates
redeemable any time after six months
I'd short police
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
To Our Subscribers.

The date of the expiration OF your
subscription will be found on every
COPY of the Shenandoah Herald.
Please remit without waiting for
statement to be sent from this office.
BY SO doing you will greatly oblige
The HERALD PUBS.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Not Eorceful ENOUGH,

When couched in negative form re-
quests bring negative results. A young
man said to father: Il suppose you
will refuse il ! ask for the hand of
your daughter" The father replied,
Yes, I will refuse; but if you had
put it the other way, that you were
bound to have my daughter if you
had to kill me first, you could have had
her. AS tbs, you have defeated your
self at the start, and l do not want
a son-in-law of that type of mind. A
man who defeats himself on PROPOSE
tons at the start needs to be looked
after by someone else most of the
time"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02

PLANTS FOR SALE ALI kinds
Of early vegetable plants for sale.
Frost cabbage plants of all the early
varieties, ready to plant in the garden
now. MISS NELLIE FRAvEL, Court
ST., Woodstock, Va.
March I2-tf.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Inactive Kidneys
Cause Disease
shall not soon forget the benefits derived
from the use Of Foley Kidney Pills."-A A.
Godfrey, Forest Grove. Oregon.

oodfrey, Forest Grove. Oregon.
Too much work and too little work
seem to have about the same effect
on persons past middle age. Proper
action OF the kidneys is necessary to
good health. They act as filter
and remove from the blood poisonous
waste matter which if permitted to
remain in the system leads to many
compiled tons.
Many nervous, tired, rundown men
and women suffer from pains in the
back and sides, dizzy spells, bladder
weakness, sore muscles and stiff
joints and fail to realize that rheuma-
tsm, diabetes or even Bright's dis
ease may result
If you Rave cause to believe that
your kidneys are weak. disordered or
inactive you should act Immediately.
Foley Kidney Pills have been used
by young, middle aged and old with
complete satisfaction. They act quick
iy and sure ly and have given relief
in cases of ten years standing.
WALTON & SMOfT.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Not the Same Thina,

II hear young Spriggins has taken
partner for life"
mot necessarily, but he's married.
Livingston Lance.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Iona story.

A garrulous lady, i'll of complaint
OF 40 years standing, had begun to de-
scribe its progress from the first, when
the physician to whom she addressed
herself interrupted her, saying he
wanted to go into the next street to
see . patient, and begged the lady to
inform him how long it would take
her to tell her story. The answer
vas 20 minutes. He asked her to pro.
esd, and hoped abe would endeavoE
= nniGA ~ ~ tine - setzEnol
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02

Happy thou that learnedst from an
others griefs, not to subject thyself e
TIE eame.-Tlbu1Dn4 -..--4---s. ;.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
DENTISTS.
nR. W. E. FAHRN Ely

TAR W. E. FAHRNEY
PRACTICE LIMITED TO
EYE. EAR, NOSE AND THROAT.
Beginning Monday, May 3rd, 1915,
] will DE at my Woodstock Office every
day except Friday from $50 a. m. to
5 o. m.
Friday of each week at my Timber
yille Office.
DR.. w. E. FAHRNEY.
Apr. 80 rs Tyr.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02

ADYDRTI1IN0RArn4
Advertisements viii BE- inserted
at One Dollar per square OF ten
ines or less, for the first insertiop
an6 so centsfor each subsequent
insertion.
9Quarterly or yearly adveY. :
dsements by contract.
~Unless the number OF inser,
lions IL marked upon the manu-.
script, advertisements WILDE pub.
iished until forbidden and charged
accordingly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
SOUTHERN RAILWAY.
Premier Carrier Of the South.
Schedule between Washington, Alex
andria, Woodstock and Harrisonburg.

Schedule figures published only a.
inform alton "Not Guaranteed I"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
Majority Of Friends Thought Mr..
Hughes Would Die, But
One Helped Him to
Recovery.

Pomeroyton, Ky.-ln interesting adj
vices from this place, Mr.. A. ]. Hughes
writes as follows: "a was down with
stomach trouble for five (5) years, and
would have sick headache so bad, at
times, that thought surely would die.
tried different treatments, but they
did not seem to do me any good.
got so bad, could not eat or sleep,
and all my friends, except one, thought |
would die. He advised me to try
Thediofd's Black Draught, and quit
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1915-07-02
STOMACH TROUBLE
FOR FIVE YEARS

taking other medicines. | decided 10
take his advice, although | did not have
any confidence in il.
have now been taking Black Draugnt
for three months, and it has cured me
haven't had those awful sick headaches
since ! began using it.
! am so thankful for what Black
Draught has done for me.'
Thedford's lack-Draught has been
found a very valuable medicine for de-
rangements of the stomach and liver. II
is composed OF pure, vegetable herbs,
contains no dangerous ingredients, and
acts gently, yet surely. II can be freely
used by young and old, and should be
kept in every family chest.
Get package today.
| Only quarter. II
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-04-23
MEETING Of CITY
COUNCIL TUES. NIGHT
Former Mayor Freeman Elected
Alderman and Harry Hancock
Night Marshal.

The legislative council of Paris
met in session Tuesday night fol
the purpose of completing organ
ization and electing officers whose
terms expired at this time.
Former Mayor Freeman was
elected a member tc succeed May,
or Scates. J. N. Porter was
elected mayor pro tempore. S. P,
Fitzhugh, city attorney; w. G.
Johnson, member board of pub,
lie works; S. A. Miller, board oil
education; Drs. s. H. Caldwell,
]. P. Mathewson and A. Fl. Mil,
Ter, board of health; DIR. A. H.
Miller, health officer; A. N. Lind.
sey, back tax collector; Harry
Hancock, night Waterman.
The Mayor appointed the stand
ing committees with Alderman
Dunlap chairman of the finance
committee; F. M. VanCleave,
cemetery; J. 7. Porter, police;
j. M. Freeman, ordinance. I'm
A committee was appointed to
confer with the county court
committee as to regulation of
courthouse closets.
The retirement of electric light
bonds of $4,000 issued in 1896
was ordered, and $35, 600 water
works bonds ordered refunded.
The number of the fire COM
pany was fixed at fourteen to
serve at $1.50 for each fire.
AT the suggestion of Mayor
Scates any contracts between
members of the council and city
was prohibited, and contract for
caol between city and Peoples
Coal & Ice Co., was referred to
the board of public works for in
vestigation.
The report of t h e commit
tee as to repairs at Lee school
was accepted and the same COM
mittee authorized to make repairs
not to exceed five thousand dol
lars.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-04-23
District Conference Planned.

Below is the list of appoint
ments for the third round for the
Paris district of the M. E.
church by the presiding elder,
Rev. L. D. Hamilton:
Paris Station, at First Church,
May 9-10; Big Sandy Circuit, al
Rushings Chapel, May 1916
Faxon Mission, at Sulphur Creek,
May 1917; Cottage Grove Cir
cult, at Hickory Grove, May o.
%; Puryear Circuit, at Haglers
Chapel, May 1880; West Muir
ray Circuit, at Coles Camp
Ground, June Sc; Kirksey Cir
cult, at Mount Carmel, June g.
Hazel and Pleasant Grove, al
Hazel, June 1918; Hazel Circuit,
at Storys Chapel, June 1914;
Atwood Circuit, at Pleasant Hill,
June 1920; Mckenzie, June 20
Fl; Dresden Station, at Dresden,
June 1927; West Prairie Circuit,
at Henry, June 27-28; Mckenzie
Circuit, at Ell Bethel, July ga
Gleason Circuit, Liberty, July As
East Murray Circuit, at Sulphur,
July 10-11; Murray Station, al
Murray, 11-12; Olive Circuit,
July 17-18; Almo Mission, July
1919; Manleyville Circuit, July
24-25.
The district conference will
convene at Dresden, Tenn, July
7-8. The opening sermon will
be preached by the Rev. ]. A,
Hassell on Tuesday night, July
8, at 3 O'Clock.
The conference will open al
$50 o'clock Wednesday morning,
Let all the pastors and delegates
take notice. The pastors will SEE
that their quarterly conference
journals are on hand.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-04-23
j. 5. WILL REFLECT
WILSON NEXT YEAR
Has Maintained Peace and Plenty
for Nation. kept Out Of Euro
pean and Mexican Tangles.

That the European war will en-
rich the United States that almost
a miracle of statescraft has been
wrought in keeping Uncle Sam
out of the embroglio, that mer-
chant marine law will be enacted
by the next Congress, that Pres
ident Wilson will be nominated
by the Democrats and reelected,
and that the greatest era of pros
perity is dawning on this country
in all it's history, are predictions
made by the Hon. K. D. Nickel
lar representative in Congress
from the Memphis district.
During the last session of the
Congress the most memorable in
it's history, Mr.. Mcclellan became
intimate with the Wilson admin
istration policies through his
able efforts in committee and on
the floor of the House. He en-
joyed the confidence not only of
the president, but of heads of
departments and leaders in all
lines.
While the present European
war is the greatest catastrophe
that has ever befallen the peo-
pie of Europe in all their history,
and while temporarily its harm
full effects have hurt our own
people. still, my firm belief is
that in the end, if we keep out
of the fight, it will mean the SUI
premacy of the United States in
world commerce, in world f.
nance and world power" said
Mr.. Mcclellan.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-04-23

New York is boys work ex-
pert of international reputation.
He was formerly secretary of
the Canadian National Council
for the Boys Work of Canada.
He is now the Senior Boys
Work secretary of the Interna-
tional Committee of the Y. M.
C. A., exercising supervision
over the Boys Work of the
Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton throughout the whole of
North America, and editor of
the American Youth, the official
publication for Association Boys
Work in this country.
Mr.. Henry G. Hart, Boys
Work secretary of the Nashville
Y. M. c. A, has had a large and
successful experience in the de-
velopment of work with boys,
especially in the field of church
club and Sunday school work
with adolescent youth. Mr..
Hart is a pleasing and earnest
speaker and his messages will
bring most valuable and vital
contribution to the objective of
the Institute.
Mr.. c. w. Blakey, as secretary
for Boys Work in Tennessee has
been intrusted with position of
large leadership in the Boys
Work of the South. AS a repre-
sentative of the State Committee
he is cooperating with Local
pastors in bringing this Boys
Work Institute to Paris. His
work with the boys over the
state is rapidly becoming known
lin this stragetic field of Y. M. C..
A., activity.
THE PROMOTION COMMITTEE
A promotion committee com.
posed of interested workers rep.
resenting tn e participating
churches, is responsible for the
promotion of and interest in the
work of this Institute. The per.
sonel of this committee is made
up of limited group of loca
citizens interested in the work 81
the Sunday Schools of the various
churches, and in the work of the
city and county schools.
All sessions of the Institute
are open to the public withour
charge, and an interesting pro
gram has been provided.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-04-23
Parent Teachers-Associa


At the school last Tuesday af-
ternoon the parent teachers
association, in a most delightful
manner, entertained two hum
dred interested guests. The eff
ficient officers of the association,
ever alert to promote and extend
this good cause, strive to make
the programs diversified and
their meetings, at al! times, in
teresting, and on this meeting
turned the occasion into a social
hour.
The most desirable refresh
ments were served to the guests
and during the afternoon splendid
readings and good appealing
music by the band threw every
one into their most happy dispo-
sition. During the whole social
hour the occasion was inspiring,
and modestly we wish it could
return.
Previous to the social hour the
regular business program was
conducted which was bright and
instructive.
The Parent teachers associa-
ton is one of the most commend
able organizations within our
city. 1t is an organization look
ing toward the better and higher
interests and development of our
own boys and girls. This organi-
cation is differed by most capa-
BILE ladies' The personel of the
entire membership is the best we
have they are mothers fathers
and teachers.
No matter how good your
school board; your superinten-
dent of schools; your teachers;
they can all do better work by
and with the cooperation and
aid of an organization Of the
parent teachers type. By the
help of such an organization a
more finished standard can be
obtained and maintained.
An Interested Man.