The Washington herald., 1915-10-10
. A REAL FRIEND.
By ORIsON SWEET MARDEN.

If there is anything of which the
average human being is ignorant. II is
himself Our mental eyes are like our
physical eyes. looking straight out,
seeing everything but ourselves.
1t is unfortunate. tragic even. that
so many Of us go through life need
lessly weighed down. hampered by
trivial faults. peculiarities. weakness
IS. idiosyncr asies of which we may be un-
conscious. but which are well known to
our friends and those who are associated
with US. They know that these things
impet G our progress. stand in the way of
cur advancement. and yet they never
tel US.
We have little difficulty in seeing
the weak points Of others, lack of tact,
unpleasant manners. a disagreeable
disposition. or some popularity or fail
ing that is keeping them back. and we
wonder why they do not strengthen
themselves and improve their chances
in life by Kidding themselves of the
things that are gripping their pow
ers. The reason is very simple: They
do not see them any more than We
see our own drawbacks.
So far as information about himself
is concerned. a person is practically in
a world of silence and darkness. The
moment he tries to peer at his own
tween him as he is and as he appears
to others. and those others make no
effort to draw aside the curtain for
him. People are ready to praise us to
our faces. but they hesitate to hurt.
or criticise US. Yet this is the hign-
est office of a real friend-to tell us
how the world looks at US. to give us
q picture of our real selves. to tell u,
of the things that hinder us. to show
10 hn rid nf
them. Most of the things which him
der people and cause them to be mis-
understood, could be remedied by a
frank, level-headed. sincere friend.
who would hold the mirror up to ma
ture'' and show them their faults and
where they are making mistakes. AS
1t is. we go through life. blundering
along. bffndly feeling our way. con-
stantly doing things that make US the
target Of ridicule, because no one has
ever been frank and friendly enough
to tell US Of our faults. and most of
us achieving a very poor grade of sue
cess. when we could be making a
splendid showing. if We could only
throw off our handicaps.
For instance. I know a prominent
man who makes such a noise eating
isoup that he can be heard clear
across the restaurant or even in the
next room. ne proodDiS Is entiEeiy
unconscious of the fact that he sets
the teeth of many people on edge. de-
stroys their comfort at meals. and that
this bad ha bit has even lost him busi-
ness.
A splendid young man who has great
ability has never progressed very far
because of his silly habits of twirling
his mustache, running his hands
through his hair, twiddling his
thumbs. playing with his watch chain.
or doing some other aimless thing
which creates a prejudice against him
altogether out of proportion to the
/ habit.
can is capable stenographer, who
has never understood why she did nor
oct on faster II is because she has
| habit of clearing her throat con-
tinuaIIy. Employers do not like to
! teII her of this, andoit has lost her
many a position
| Instances might be multiplied to
.,ow what trifes often hold people
back and what an injury our friends
40 ms by letting us be kept back
/ through ignorance OF things which
we could. correct II we only knew
A friend who would tell us. in all
Ltndness what our weak points are
how they are keeping US back. how
,hsy are standing in the way OF our
nonu,a rIty and advancement, and how
! we couJd correct them-would be In
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