davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
AII.His Fault.

One witness in a recent police court
case was an old Irish woman.
Immediately the prisoners lawyer
asked her a question she began talk
ing, and talked and talked and talked
stop! Stop!" ordered the magis'
trate, hammering on his desk.
But the old woman still talked on.
Here, you in the witness box, do
be quiet!" Numbered the magistrate
again. "Oh, do stop for minute!"
And the old woman still went on.
Then the magistrate turned angrily
on the lawyer.
Look here, Mr.. NJ" he shouted
you started her-now stop her!"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
RULES OF UP-TO-DATE zoo
Compiled for the Benefit of Visitors
Who Without Proper Guidance
Might Get Into Trouble.

All persons are prohibited from
playing with the animals. If you are
a monkey, don't recognize your friends
at the zoo. Fraternizing with ami
mails is considered a serious offense,
no matter if the animal shows more
intelligence than the one trying to
torment him.
1t shall be unlawful to stroke the
whiskers of Caesar the male lion, or
to pull the tails Of any of the lions at
any time. Visitors must not interfere
with the food that is given the lions
or put their hands into the mouths of
the beasts.
Making eyes at the balloons and
shaking hands with the monkeys are
not permitted at any time. Visitors
must not pull the horns Of the buffalo
or strike the ears Of the ostrich.
Children are warned not to ride on
the backs of the deer.
Violations of these park regulations
will be punished by solitary confine-
ment in the dog pound for six months.
Springfield News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Wearisome Proposition.

well, Mirandy," said Mrs. Bosby-
shell to her cook, 81 hear it rumored
that you are going to be married again,
this time to Joe."
Nom, l amt gwine git manfred
again, Miss Lucy" replied Mirandy.
I'm very fond o. Joe, but amt gwine
mahry him."
whats the trouble?" asked Mrs.
Bosbyshell.
"Ain't no trouble, Miss Lucy" said
Mirandy, but yo' see 1 done been
married three times already, an tell
yo' de truff I'm gittin' mighty tiahed
payin' out good money to dem undah-
takahS."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
His Bid.

Between the blonde young woman
on the other side of the car and her
stout neighbor next to the left there
interviewed a space perhaps four
inches in width. Clinging to the
strap just in front of the blonde WON
an was a cheerful individual whose
uncertain footing was, it seemed, not
wholly due to the jolting and jerking
of the common carrier. Presently he
fastened an ingratiating smile upon
the young woman.
Madam" murmured he, eff you'd
lemme sit down in that place there
by you Pd-I'd vote for woman suf
frage." New York Evening Post.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
CARE FOR YOUR HAIR
BY Frequent Shampoos With cutieura
VIII Help You. Trial Free.

Precede shampoos by touches OF
Cuticura Ointment IL needed to spots
of dandruff, itching and irritation OF
the scalp. Nothing better for the COM
plexion, hair, hands or skin than these
fragrant supercreamy emollients. Also
as preparations for the toilet.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura. Dept. Ky,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Husband Had His Good Points.

A London mission worker tells how
shocked she was to encounter this bit
of cynicism in the slums. The CONVEX
sation was between two women whose
married life had not been particular
Iy felicitous. WELL" said one Of
them, "of course we has our troubles
with all of 'em. But I'll say this for
nv second husband--he's better than
my first. He's in Jail so much that
practically all l earn I has for my
SELF"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Of Far More Importance.

Pat and a friend were reading an
account of a shipwreck, in which they
were greatly interested.
pat" said his friend, Gin case of a
shipwreck, presence of mind is worth
everything else"
"Prisince of moind," We say" replied
Pat earnestly. Faith, and l don't
agree wild We. In tonne of shipwreck,
absince of body Is of far more impor-
lance than prisince of moind. Ma
tional Monthly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
harhors on the Adriatic.

The principal CULTS of the Adriatic
are those of Manfredonia on the west
Venice and Trieste on the north, and
Quarnero on the northeast. There
are numerous and admirable bay har
bors extending from Fiume and cul
minating in the wonderful landlocged
harbor, the Bocche di Cattaro. The
Strait of Otranto, where Ita2v an
proaches nearest to the Baikea main
land. is As miles wide. Here is the
magnificent Albanian harbor, Avlona
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

Of all sorts from the makeup ink fill fountain
The origins OF the requests about varied the requests
technical
laboratories scientific institutions
o bureaus
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

fronting the east of the capitol, domi-
mating its environment. 1t was fine
piece of art and represented Wash
ington seated after the manner Of a
Roman patrician, but very scant of
drapery, so that he was much ex-
posed to the elements of torrid heat
in summer and of icy cold in winter.
The statue became more an object of
pity than of admiration
Congressman Mccall was among
those who felt distressed, and he no.
iced. mOreOYer that the fine marble
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Times Chances,

"You know when / was living hero
some years ago." remarked the man
who had Just dropped in, you had o
little boy about six years old whom
you thought the brightest boy In the
world"
Eyes, | remember" was the reply;
"but he's been through college since
then"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Well Earned.

'How did you happen to get that
medal you're wearing?"
81 got it for saving an umpire's life.
l had pop bottle in my hand when
he called Sweeney out sliding to the
home plate with what should have
been the winning run, and didn't
throw it."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

the oath Of Office and delivered his
inaugural address; there President
Lincoln made his famous second in
augural; there Coxey tried to make
a speech; there automobiles have
sought to ascend for advertising pur-
poses, and various other efforts have
been made to stage Stunts" includ-
ing that of the motion picture men
when a dancer tripped it lightly down
the flight in Grecian garb, and there
the sutfragists reviewed their pa.
Il ~
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
One Good One.

Patience-What do you think OF
that new young man boarder?
Patrice-Oh, think he's all right
Got good eyes, hasn't he?"
"Well, he's got one good eye"
Zone good eyer"
Eyes, one seems good; but he was
winking at me with the other during
the entire meal"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

having
Virginia
unsighty
which
building also will be replaced the other
ar considered
appropriation Washington
company
the
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Great Scheme.

Lawson-How do the Bjenkses man.
age to go away for three months every
summer?
Dawson-Why, haven't you noticed
They give up the old fiat in the spring
and take a new one in the fall.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Force of Habit.

"Tll bet that Judge used to be a
street car conductor" said the bride.
groom as they came out of the office
of the justice of the peace.
what makes you think 500" asked
the bride.
when 1 handed him his fee for
marrying us, he asked me If ! wanted
a Transient"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
A SAVING,

II see you're laying out a tennis
court in your yard. didn't know you
played the game" eat
81 don't, but you see / won't have
to NOW that part of the lawn after ]
take the turf off" - n.s
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Grand Prize at Panama. Expo
sltion Awarded to Walter
Baker G. Co. Ltd.

The Grand Prize for superiority Of Co
Goa and Chocolate preparations has been
awarded to Walter Baker &c Co Ltd, Dor
chester, Mass This famous old house has
received So Highest Awards at the leading
expositions in Europe and America. Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
u.xx WAN ZONE HOsprTALs

Have ordered Aliens Foot-Esse. the antseprc
powder. for use among the convalescent troops.
Shaken into the shoes or dissolved in the foot,
BATH. Aliens Foot Ease gives refreshing rest and
comfort and prevents the feet getting tired OF
stitute. Sold Everywhere. use For FREE sam
Die. address, Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy. ~. Y.-Adv.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Interested.

your name, please, miss"
"Iona Carr"
ooh, you do? What maker"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Drink DcnIson's Coffee.
Always pure and delicious.
Read Backward.

Jack-How did you come to get In
terested in that novel you are read
ing?
Marie-I liked the way it ended.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
See U. S. A. First.

Blanch-She's going to travel.
Beulah-So? Going to Europe.
ooh, no, she's going to travel in this
country"
81 see. She believes in safety first. "
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
No Chance.

"Was she self-possessed when you
proposed?"
eyes; and-er-she still is!"-An-
SWerS.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

Many a man has sense enough to
get good wife, but hasn't sense
enough to know it.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Eastern Approach Of Capitol to Be Replaced

nv historic spot is
staged eventful historic There president
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Your Uncle Sam Is an Unusually Good Mixer"

might said that Uncle
special being
other Of the world That however
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
rha crand Smash

$50 you bought an auto. How are
you getting along?"
"On crutches."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

you OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Bye Remedy for Red, Weak. Watery
Just Eye comfort. Write for Book of the Eye
by mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
George Washington Covered With Gray Dust

Washington
IL Genough splendid statue
of His and it placed the plaza
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Some Plans.

Some Plans.
MADE ans plans for the summer"
eyes; I'm going somewhere with the
wife,"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

literally. for Uncle Sam is recognized
throughout the country by his citi-
zens who own and manage industries,
great and small, as about the final
authority on just what materials in
just what proportions should be
mixed together to produce desired
substance.
AS a result of this recognition
scores of letters reach the bureau of
standards, which includes the govern
ment's big industrial laboratories, re-
uuesting information as to formulas
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Drink Denlson'e Coffee.
Always pure and delicious.

Development in Morocco has been
generally stopped because OF the war
in Europe.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

Aberdeen's linen mills are kept busy
by war orders.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22
Easy going men often 80 the wrons
way.

A woman diets for fat, a man for
his stomach or some other organ.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

Prices for footwear are going up
In England and retailers find diff
Guilty in getting stocks.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

A really busy man never knows how
much he weighs.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1915-07-22

SWerS.
Wheeling majority. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1907-192?, 1915-09-02

CONTINUED on Page ~
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
inquiry
I0BE OUTLINED
Joint Congressional Commit
tee Will Hold First Meet
ing Tomorrow.
CIVIC BODY OFFERS AID
Will Present Facts and Figures in
Behalf of Half-and-Half
Plan.
CIVIC BODY OFFERS AID

General plans with respect to the time
and procedure for the inquiry into the
fiscal relations between the District and
Federal governments will be outlined
by the joint Congressional Investigating
Committee at its first meeting, at IL
o'clock tomorrow morning in the Office
Of Senator Chiffon, of West Virginia.
Will Offer Corporation.
The Citizens committee preparing TO
direct the fight in advocacy of the con-
tinuance of the half-and-half financial
system will be represented by its execu-
tive committee
This executive committee will try to
posed Of Henry b. +. mcfarland. chair
man; Theodore w. Noyes. d. J. Gala
han. Corcoran Thorn, and Edward +.
Colladay. The committee will offer to
the inquiry commission it's co-opera-
ton in the gathering of statistics and
facts relative TO fiscal conditions.
This executive committee is COM
ascertain tomorrow when the hearings
will begin and what methods will be
followed in adducing the idcts.
Within a day or two a subcommittee
of the citizens committee will visit the
District Commissioners and proffcr them
assistance in the gathering OF data on
fiscal relations. This subcommittee is
composed OF Mr. mcfarland, L. c.
Brandenburg. president Of the Board OF
Trade: p. T. Moran. president of the
Chamber of Commerce; Edward +. Col
laday, president of the Federation Of
Citizens Associations, and Ross +. An
drews. president of the Retail Merchants
Association.
Seeks Aid of Civic Bodies.
The citizens committee has extended
an invitation to other civic organizations
to lend their cooperation in the framing
and presenting OF the arguments in sup
port Of the present fiscal system. and il
is believed that many organizations will
avail themselves of this opportunity. BY
working through 4 small executive COM
mittee OF five. the citizens Of the District
will be able to simplify, unity, and
strengthen their arguments for the con-
tinuance of the half-and-half plan.
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
RESERVE BANKERS CONFER.

Governors of the Federal reserve
banks have just completed their third
session. which began on March II.
During the conference the governors
hold two meetings. with tho Federal Re-
serve Board. on Friday afternoon and
yesterday morning.
The topics discussed hv the con-
ference and reported to the board in
Guided intradistriCt Clcarings. plan for
settlements between Federal reserve
banks. cipher and cable codes. relation
between the Federal reserve banks and
the national bank examiners. redis-
counts between Federal reserve hanks,
membership by Federal reserve banks
in the American Bankers Association
and State bankers associations. foreign
exchange. the printing and use of Fed
eral reserve bank notes. uniform state
mentS to he exchanged between Fed
eral reserve banks. the abrasion OF
gold coin. member banks CertifiCa ton
of eligibility on commercial paper. and
cha ttel mortgages. OF these topics the
most important are those of intradIs-
trICt cl"arinCs and settlements be
tween the Federal reserve banks. both
of which have been referred to a sub
Committe" Of governors to take up
with the Federal Reserve Board.
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
CLERKS CRANKY? SHE
BLAMES SOCIAL FABRIC
Minimum Wage Boards Would Iron
Out Kinks. Mrs. Kelley Tells
Consumers League.

Why il the silly. =um-chewins girl be-
hind the ribbon counter :" devoid of
common courtesy to the hurried shopper:
Mrs. Florence Kelley. ~ New York.
general secretary Of the National Con-
sumers League told an audince in the
Public Library lcctur" hal! last night
that the girls trying manner WAS all
due to industrial conditions
I sually she is taken into the store
soon as she is = Years old" said
Mrs. Kelley. who has spent a lifetime
in improving TN" lot of women and chill
drcn in industry. Then she is left I'M
trained and without the incentive of pro-
motion in pay. Minimum wage boards in
each industry by agreement between the
workers and the employees and under
tn" direction Of permanent minimum
wage commission. will hiring order out
Of this chaos.
Mrs. Kelley announced that her or
GaniZatiOn would press for passage by
Congress next winter a bill establishing
such a commission IN tn" District.
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
LITTLE TRIANGLE ALL
THAT'S LEFT OF BELGIUM
King Receives Woman Writer in
Trenches-Cermans Respect Town
Where Queen Lives.

New York. March 13.-Direct from
the battle front in France. Mrs. Mary
Roberts Rhinehart. playwright and
magazine writer. returned today from
Europe on the White Star liner
Arabic. Mrs. Rhinehart had a num-
Der of thrilling adventures in the bat
tie zone and gave a graphic story of
her experience.
Il was dining in n hotel in Dunkirk
one day when the proprietor rushed
in and said that the city was being
bombarded from the sky" said the
writer Most of the people took
refuge in cellars. but few others
and myself stood in hallway and
watched the proceedings. Sixty-s
bombs were hurled by the Germans
aviators and a number of noncom-
batants were killed.
1T was my good fortune to VISIT
King Albert of Belgium in the Bel
gian trenches. The King, who re.
ceived me kindly, is the life and soul
of broken-hearted people. He is
their guiding spirit. Only pathetic
little triangle of Belgian soil is I'M
trammeled by the foot of the invaders
The town | visited, Lipin, Is the only
one of any size in this triangle that
has not been shelled. The Germans do
not shell it, because Queen Elizabeth
of Belgium, who is a Bavarian prin-
cess, lives there and the Teutons show
her that respect because of her Ba-
varian blood.
The Arabic brought the biggest car
go of mail ever carried by a single
ship across the Atlantic. There were
800 passengers aboard.
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
HUTCHINSON RECITAL DELIGHTS.
Schumann and Bra ms Played Beau
tifuIly by Him Yesterday.

Mr.. Ernest Hutchinson gave the second
"f his piano recitals Yesterday morning
in the ballroom of the New Willard.
SchUmann and Brahms were the CONF
posers discussed The great number was
the "Etude Symphoniques'' of Schu-
mann. The Brahms variation and fugue
on Theme OF Handel is a big and
ingenious work. The cumulative interest
that the successive variations acquired
under Mr.. Hutcheson's skillful playing.
as we'll as the mastery clarity of lines
of the big fugal movement, gave to this
number a high technical value.
The "Etudes Symphoniques' of Schu
mann are not often heard indeed. they
require the whole artist. Mr.. Hutcheson
brings out the peculiar beauty of the
Schumann dissonances by a not insistent.
but very firm articulation. This Pc
culiar beauty Is not easily felt; needs
Interpretation. II Is allied to the beauty
OF a leafless winter landscape: of bald.
bleak CraGs; of the angry sea in mid
ocean. The Grandness of the last of
these Etudes. as Mr.. Hutchinson gave it,
is not to be expressed.
Wholly charming were the Scenes
from Childhood" Of Schumann. Mr..
Hutchinson gave them all. and the 'Blind
Mans Buff the pleading Child" the
Knight of the Rocking Horse" Fright
enngs," and the Child Falling Asleep
were truly realistic pictures Of the
Brahms numbers.
The Capriccio in b Minor was alto
gether charming. and the way in which
Nj. Hutchinson caused the lovely theme
to just be heard. vet quite Enthusiastically
heard under the floating rhythm was a
lesson in perspective. These interpreta-
tive readings of Mr.. Hutchinson no doubt
came as a surprise to the greater part
Of the audience. Il didn't know there
was so much to be forgotten out Of he
piano. I've heard that before. but I
never thought much about it. What a
lot of piano literature there is. to be
sure Something like this would be
the general run OF mental commentary.
Chopin will be composer for next Satur-
day morning. G. S. W.
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
SPARK IGNITES OIL;
BLAST kILLSFIVE
Two Huge Tanks Explode in Brooklyn.
Creating Havoc-Falling Wall
Crushes Boys at Play.

New York. March 13.-Five persons were
killed and a score injured when tanks
containing gasoline and petroleum eN-
ploded in the yards of the Crewe Levicks
Oil and Gas Company. Brooklyn. today.
The explosion also blew to pieces a high
concrete wall like so much paper.
wrecked a siding engine. and shattered
windows in houses and office buildings
within Iadius of half a mile. The ex-
plosior is>believed to have been caused
by sparks from the siding engine ignit-
ing gasoline flowing from a leak in one
of the tanks that exploded Four little
boys. who had been given warning of the
leak. We're crushed and killed instantly
by the falling wall. George F. Avery.
resident manager of the company. which
has its headquarters IN Philadelphia. was
blown to pieces while attempting to stop
the leak.
The two exploding tanks were huge
twin receptacles. each containing 81. 900
gallons of gasoline and petroleum. The
gasoline tank exploded first, the other
tank almost simultaneously.
The fireman of the siding engine
was badly burned about the face and
hands. James Dennis. walking near
the factory, was so Ibdly 1acerated by
Aging glass that he will lose the sight
of both eyes. A score OF other persons
were cut by flying glass.
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
HIGH COST OF LIVING
MAKES DYING CHEAPER
People No Longer Believe in Bury
ing Good Money. Says
Undertaken

The high cost of living and the high
cost Of dying in the National Capital are
combining to cause a marked demand for
cheaper funerals.
Year by year the demand is increas-
ing for less ostentatious and less expen-.
sive layouts." said J. T Clemens I'M
dertaker and embalmer of l24l Wiscon-
sin avenue, last night. THE high cost
of living undoubtedly is the cause of the
demand for n cheaper cost of dying
Then, too. public sentiment is changing
People are beginning To realize il is n
shame to bury good money l belong to
their school of philosophy. l believe the
living should have more money and the
dead should have less"
THE day of 500 baskets is over, fear"
said Charles S. Zurhorst, undertaken.
of sol East Capitol street. The peo-
pie haven't the money to pay and
they don't believe in big funerals. And
all the time the cost of materials is
increasing. The undertaken is the
man on whom the burden falls. for
in recent years he has not materially
raised the price for services"
The Washington herald., 1915-03-14
H0BOEs TO Spend" FORTUNE.

St Louis March 13.-Hoboes in all parts
OF the country by referendum vote. are
to decide what James Eads How. widely
known as the Millionaire Hobo shall
do with $4,000 beQueathed to him by his
mother. Mrs. Eliza A. How. and with the
interest on additional sl25 900 left in trust
for him under the terms of Mrs. HOw's
will. filed for probate yesterday.
How said today he would not think Of
deciding as to the disposition Of his for
tune without first consulting his
brothers
How said a meeting Of the st. Louis
group of the association would be held
next Tuesday night. At that time a
vote Of the st. Louis
brothers" will be taken and a delegation
will be chosen to attend q convention OF
the brotherhood in Baltimore. April 10