davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

1.-THE hired girl question is one
reason why we should all be hap
\ py and content with a carefree
life of poverty. 1t is only after a man
begins drawing a salary instead OF
wages that he comes down with the
hired girl question
The hired girl is a movable body who
travels in an eclipse like a comet She
comes from no one knows where, and
departs Immediately into Obscurity-
Comets are an Improvement on hired
girls, however, because they do not
take handkerchiefs and teaspoons with
them when they go away
The hired girl is a movable body IN
troduced into the household by the
housewife to provide a change OF
trouble. When she can't stand cooking
any longer she gets a girl When she
can't stand the girl any longer, she
goes TO cooking again They say that
Heaven is place where there are
plenty Of hired girls who are good
natured. Industrious. neat honest and
talented designers Of good dinners and
who never. no never. 20 away This
explains why four women attend church
TO one man
The hired girl is usually imported,
and when first unloaded in this coun-
try is earnest. timid and obliging. In
fortunately, hired girls pick up Amer
lean ideas very quickly The best hired
girls are found in the homes of your
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

John, who could enthuse' their Bankers
ending them a few Dollars, added
same TO what they had and bought the
Land, continuing. OF course, their reg
ular Meal Tickets" such as Real es-
tating. Clerking. Merchandising etc,
holding on like grim Death and break
ing their necks to keep up the Interest
Many Times. Jane and Mary had to put
off indefinitely getting those new
Shoes as a consequence
A few Of these wouldbe land own
ers had Renters on their Land but in
most Cases the native Renter knew
about as much about Farming as New
York Club Man knows ABOUT the simple
Life.
The owner couldn't afford to give up
his Job 10 work the Land as in most
Cases he was too old TO learn a new
Came and. again. he didn't dare to run
the Risk So he simply kept on pay
ing Interest and renewing the Notes
the Banker not kicking because Inter-
est Rates were high and in time would
nearly get the Principal back anyway
When a real live Farmer did show up
occasionally the Fellow who owned the
Land couldn't afford TO part with II
at a reasonable Basis and get out even
SO the prospective Buyer went else
where
This was about the Situation that
confronted the leading Spirits, who re-
allied something must be done 80 a
few Of them worked over time few
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
Hired Girls Make Men Think Poverty Desirable
Best Are Always In Home Of Some Other Person

be induced to enter a family where
there are more than two When set
ting q trap for a hired girl remove all
furniture that is hard to dust. have
the piano tuned. conceal the children
in the attic and tack a sign. Maids
room" over the guest-rOom- Then
cover the library table with gold. and
trust to luck
Hired girls are frequently taught 10
cook wash dishes and do many other
useful little stunts Some people also
attempt to teach them TO come in early
at night and handle cut glass without
breaking it. But then some people
viii attempt anything. They are sub
Ject TO many ailments. among which
are relatives and matrimcny- Many
fine hired girl wears herself out car
rying home food 10 her relatives On
the other hand. matrimony is likely at
any time to enter a happy home and
snatch away a hired girl who is a per-
feet treasure
Hired girls should always he treated
kindly and the mistress Of the house
should not ask TO so out more than
once a week In return for good treat
ment "A hired girl viii almost always
feel gratefully toward her employer
when she leaves to take place where
there is no washing. and the parents
have agreed TO chloroform their chill
dren.-Protected by the Adams News
paper Service
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
How Community Found Itself
A PARABLE

Spectators, worked the Soil for few
Years imam indefinite, unknowing Way,
because there was no real relpful Co
operation or personal Interest shown
in their Success, and as Results were
not what they eUpected-put their
Land back on the Market and tackled
something else somewhere else-pro-
vfded there was Enough LETT after
paying the Interest for Transportation
Charges
The leading Spirits knew something
was wrong and decided to find out Just
exactly what should be done; and
what's more, to do ii. They again
summed UP the many Advantages
herein before mentioned and decided
upon a real practical Program
Through the efforts of a few OF
their strong, active Men, the great Gov
ernment-realiZing the wonderful Fer
tility Of the Soil OF the Valley-built
at great Expense an enormous Dam
some few score Miles up the River that
traversed the fertile Valley and as this
Dam had practically been completed
and Water was assured, the Time for
Action was at Hand
When the Dam Project seemed as
sured a few Years before. every Tom,
Dick and Harry. Henry, James and
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

Evenings and formulated the follow
ing Program:
1st- To organize a big Farm Mort
gage Co. inducing every Banker and
Merchant in the growing City to take
as much Stock as he felt the accruing
Benefits would justify.
End. To put a trained Manager in
charge of this Company skilled in
Farm Values. one with the executive
Ability to practically handle the entire
Venture.
5rd- To induce the Land Owners to
list their Lands with this Concern at
a reatOnable Basis. Price which
would enable the Buyer-who should be
a practical Farmer-to make a fair llv-
ing Return from his Investment, with
ten Years to pay out in, at reasonable
Interest Rates.
This would be very difficult Propo-
sition to handle as it meant CrumhlinE
Values from the inflated Basis OF the
dreaming owners
4th: To send able Representatives
10 the older farming Communities OF
the North and East. and even to for
eign Lands. where the Proposition
would be put to the Farmers in a def
mite business Wa.
No Fairy Tales would be told. but
simply the actual Facts Of the Propo-
sition.
The leading Spirits called Mass
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
Bridgers Says They Caught Him Up Unawaras
States His Position Relative To Gary System

schools. / was opposed some years
go TO some Of the things that We're
being done. I say again that / may be
wrong. but discussion should never be
decried as il is being done at present
am not captious critic L ]
wanted TO be captiOus / could fill
page of The Herald with captious com
plants that have come to ne But ]
think ! know what ] am talking about
when I offer 10 criticise the Gary
system in FL Paso. If l don't know
what I am talking about I at least
have the consolation Of knowing that 1
am one Of those fools who has plenty
of company; and in writing this TO The
Herald. il is to speak in a measure for
those who oppose the Gary system
If I were alone in this matter would
not feel myself called upon TO voice an
opposition TO the system" But
pause to inquire-if the Gary system
is all that its proponents claim for IT,,
If everybody is satisfied with ii, why
all this defence of the system Why
the confession that there is a great deal
of criticism. Indeed. there is much crit
icism. and those who stand for the sys-
tenn have been made to feel il. Surely
a systematic newspaper campaign in
behalf of the system must be the result
Of continual and persistent complaint
against it
W. ". Bridgers-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
80 TICKETS SOLD
HERE FOR DAM TRIP

Thirty tickets for the MesilIa valley
excursion to the Elephant Butte dam
next Wednesday have been sold A W
Reeves. traffic manager OF the cham
Der OF commerce. has notified the pub
lie that these tickets viii be sold in
the order OF their application at the
Paso people.
The excursion viii leave Fl PasO
Wednesday morning and one car VIII
be reserved for FL PaSO people on the
train The excursion crowd viii board
the excursion as it passes through the
Mesilla valley and a big crowd is eN-
pected TO go from Las Cruces The
fare is $3.50 and the return trip viii
be made the same evening
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
Married People

DUNG ROro and Alice got year, palace began
andc in
Reuben roll
mdget-he
along gang she's shebang neither
And
protected by the Adams newspaper WALT MASON
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
Editor FL Paso Herald:

Editor FL FaSO heralQs
have read with interest your editorials
Preparedness" and have been thoroughly IN
sympathy with your sentiments, until came
across the enclosed clipping from the Saturday
Evening Post Of October 23d 1 should like to
see your views the subject in The Herald
Herald Reader.
THE HIGH COST OF. PREPAREDNESS
we are told constantly about the potential
cost of unpTeparedness for war; but IN tacJ the
ness for W will probably be conclusive argu-
rnent against it. Already our little army and
deficient navy $300,000.OO0 a year That we
can a substantially greater flghJlng power
except at a proportionately greater outlay. is
improbable The plans of the most modest mill
would very likely increase government
expenditures anywhere from 80 to 100 percent
That party power VIII assume pollllcal
responsibility addition to federal
taxation, unless actually threatens, is un-
likely The Wastefulness with which govern
ness for almost unattainable luxury for
the richest country in the world
IF THE correspondent desires to discuss the question
from the standpoint of arithmetic, The Herald is
right there Great Britain is spending, accord
ing to official statements, s25oOoooo a day her
part in the war. And Great Britain is hardly
started The part she has been playing in the war,
huge as it is is circumstance to what she would
have to do if she had allies in this war and if she
fighting Germany alone.
Great Britain and the remainder of the empire,
cording to official statements have modified approx
mately 100000 men, British casualties somewhat
coed 100000 men Britain has modified 100000 more
men than were enrolled with the union army at any
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

City and waxed successful Merchants
who hesitated to sell Lands at rea-
sonable Price a few years since were
glad they sold and. IN fact, realized
that they now could have afforded 10
have given il away, with their in
creased Business from the substantial
Settlers
The Fame Of the beautiful Valley
spread throughout the Land and 1t be
came known far and wide as the Place
OF Peace, Happiness and Plenty.
MORAL;-"GO thou and do likewise
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
By GEORGE FITCH

best friends. and can be obtained FOR
a dollar extra per week This explains
why there are so few permanent friend
shiDs in America. The job should be
approached with great caution The
hired girl is very shy and can rarely
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

When z girl don't like a feller ther is
no appeal Theirs too many inferior
people gTumblin' about fate.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05
MIAMI MAN HURT
IN AUTO SMASH

Miami. Ariz.. Nov. 5.-Chauffeur Tay-
Tor. Of a local motor car rent service.
received O dislocated shoulder when his
car ran off an embankmeut at Lower
Miami and turned turtle The car was
smashed. Two women and two children
Twins AT Warrior were shaken up. but
otherwise uninjured-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

a dollar saved BY puylng goods pro
duced elsewhere is a dollar thrown at
your neighbours birds
Build up your home valley. Use her
products.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-11-05

As have said. may be wrong in my
opposition TO the Gary system, but If ]
am wrong 7 think a great majority Of
the teachers and patrons Of the public
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1915-09-04
LABOR LEGlSLA TI0N in THE CLAYT0N
E. ANTITRUST ACT ASSED BY CONGRESS

is Pnnsyva
hd AlRe opno ffmA HoaeG ii shan a
Of o
doe nc d and lin the article
labor and labor
f he ab . Law Gompera
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16
JEW HAD THE LAST WORD
Youths Who Thought to Have Fun
With Him Got Decidedly the
Worst of the Transaction.

There is more than one way OF max
ing retort without resorting to the
vulgar You're another"
A Jewish street-vender of spectacies
was offering his wares when half a
dozen saucy fellows stepped up.
Keep still; wen have some fun
with him." said the spokesman of the
party.
"Shpectacles! Good vons!" called
the vender.
dot vos goot," said the young man.
Now, what can you see through these
glasses, Mr.. Moses"
Anything vot you like" was the
reply.
"Ish dot so? Well, we'll see about
that" He took pair of spectacles,
put them on, and looked straight at
the dealer. Nonsense, Mr.. Moses!"
he exclaimed What have you been
telling US? Nothing whatever can be
seen through these glasses but black
guards whereupon his companions
laughed.
'Vot? Ish dot so?' exclaimed the
vender, as if in alarm. He took the
glasses, put them on hastily, and
looked at the party. my goodness!
he exclaimed, dot ish So" The party
moved on, but this time they were not
laughing.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16
Marital Diplomacy.

Plunger--I felt aWfully sorry for a
poor guy down at the exchange today.
He lost five thousand on cotton and
all the boys were guying him, and as
he started off home they tainted him
with the prediction that his wife
would land on him roughly. The poor
chap acted as though he felt pretty
bad about it.
Mrs. Plunger (sympathetically)-
Poor fellow! No doubt he used his
best Judgment. and if his wife turns
on him because of his reverses she
is not worthy to be called wife But,
who was the man?
er-Why-er-it was me-
Woman's Home Companion.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

He had heard of multimillionaires
across the sea.
"And now" said Van der Wynt as
he sat down in rustic chair. Il wish
to ask a great favor. ! am music hum
cry. It has been months since / have
heard M. Renault sing the sVesti la
giubba' from 'Pagliacci.' Would you
consent to sing it for us here-now?"
All eyes turned to Renault, who
stood up self-consciously. The lights,
the excitement, the. many 'bravos' Of
the opera rang in the ears of his mem
DRY. He had all the old-time inspira-
ton and passion, he recalled the fat
terry. the adulation of his past per-
formances. And added to this was
the presence of Alys.
Renault thought Of their marriage,
of their departure to the States, of the
triumphs they would share there. And
then he sang.
Calmly he began as they all listened
intently. His voice seemed wonder
full even at the outset, then it seemed
like the voice of one gifted by heaven.
At last he ceased. His head sank
upon his breast. He was overcome
with emotion.
And then, and then only was it that
everyone in the little garden looked
up as a saber clanked against a spur
and an officer in uniform entered.
Reverently he had stood by the gate
while Renault sang. Now, with dotted
cap and courteous air, he came toward
the little group. He appeared to hest
tate, yet his manner was businesslike,
as that Of man who had an unpleas-
ant duty which would best be per-
formed quickly
IN. Renault," he said quietly, yet
with the voice of authority, "M Re-
nault, France calls you. You are need
ed with her sons to suppress our foes.
1t seems sacrilege to intrude upon
so great an artist, yet, pardon me,
it is no fault of mine; all the sons of
our country are drafted for the mill
tary service. You are citizen-a re-
servist France beckons- calls to you
to take up the sword against the en-
emy." The man replaced his cap and
saluted as his spurs clinked together
sharply.
Renault arose to his full height. He
twirled his mustache. He was dra-
matte, tragic, theatric.
81 am Jean Renault!" he exclaimed.
"I leave shortly for America, where
have contracted to appear. /, Jean
Renault, sing-I do not fight"
"Sing it to the minister of war;"
said the soldier contemporary. "Sing
it to whomsoever you like, but come
with me. 1t is the military law of
France. 1t is a pity. am no great
singer, / earn no fabulous sums. /
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

am a blower Of glass. Yet France
calls us together, perhaps to die side
by side, even Jean Renault the great
and Antoine Marceau who earns ten
francs the day. Such is fate. So
France Wills
Van der Wynt spoke up. What is
the fee for the release of conscript?"
he asked the officer. II will gladly
pay any sum you ask to free M. Re
nault from service. / will buy sub
stitute for him.
The soldier smiled. There will be
no substitute" he said. IF there
were men available for substitution
we would draft them, too. France
calls all-rich and poor alike
Renault paled. Then the dramatic
side of the situation appealed to him.
He turned to Alys.
Dear heart" he said, Il go to war
go for France and for thee. No
longer shall be soldier of the foot
lights-a make-believe warrior with
a tin sword against singing enemy
From this moment l am soldier OF
France. | shall show them. /, Jean
Renault, shall return to thee not only
the greatest of living tenors, but a
wearer of the Legion d'Honneur-a
hero of this war with Germany. Bah!
May l encounter this boaster Berg
hoff. He is less than the shadow of
a dog-a miserable whining conscript
who cannot even beat time with a
baton let alone parry the sword
thrusts of Jean Renault!"
"Then, with the instinct of a dra-
matte exit, he strobe from the garden
while the saber of the soldier accom-
panying him clanked against the
stones.
II.
A few hours later Jean Renault,
who had not seen military service for
FIVE years, stood uniformed and armed
at the railway station, not in the cen
ter of the stage. but one of COM
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16
Gets Job; Dies First Day.

John j. Cullen had been out OF
work since January. Almost every
day he had applied for work from the
contractors. building bridge across
the Passaic river between Belleville
and Arlington, N. J.
An extra man was needed and the
contractors put Cullen to work.
Pleased at getting job. he worked
with zest until noon AS he was leav-
ing the bridge for lunch he fell into
the water few feet from shore
The water was shallow. Cullen
rose to his feet and staggered to
shore. Then he dropped again. When
men reached him he was dead. He
was thirty-five years old, and lived
at 216 Cleveland avenue, Harrison.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

mustached goldman" before whom
Renault had sung several times in the
Imperial opera house in Berlin.
The great one looked up. The Of
f1cer who had Renault in charge re-
cited the circumstances and laid upon
ried.
Renault made no defense-could not
even find words. But the man of the
bristling mustache found them. They
were short, sharp, menacing.
And a moment later Jean Renault
was led away. He was not made to
walk far. They stood him up against
a tree, and now man would have
blindfolded him. But Renault struck
down his hand In that moment he rec
ognized the officer who had brought
him there. 1t was Berghoff, and the
blue mole mas more disgusting to Re-
nault than ever before. All this time
he had been Berghoff's prisoner, and
had not noticed the fact.
"Bah!" exclaimed Renault. 81 scorn
you! / bite you!"
Bite the dust, fool" sneered Berg
hoff. "You are no more soldier than
you are singer. Do you recall the
argument we had over the bars Of
Marios death-song when l conducted
La Tosca?' Do you remember how
I drowned your impossible voice with
my beautiful orchestra? Do you re-
member-animal?
"Pig!" shouted Renault. "Who are
you-a conductor who must put down
the baton to take up the murderer's
knife. 1t looks well in your hand.
It is just the hand to hold such an
implement"
eve are waiting Berghoff remind
ed him. you delay us. Time is pre-
cious. We must on to Paris, where
I shall conduct a gala performance
Of the opera for his imperial majesty
Renault looked him squarely in the
eye.
"Berghoff," he said, you will never
conduct a gala performance in Paris.
Your emperor will never command
such a performance. I, Jean Renault,
prophesy that But, now, while your
troopers stand waiting, shall permit
you and them to hear Jean Renault,
the greatest of all tenors, sing the last
song of Mario as it was never sung be-
fore. Attend
The sun came up. Facing the firing
squad, and while Berghoff looked on
half awed, half smiling, Jean Renault
stepped forward and began to sing.
The stern faces of his executioners
softened They listened intentIy,
wonderingly. Never before had they
heard such singing And the man who
could do this was the man they were
about to KILL Just outside the inn,
some distance away, little group of
officers stood spellbound One with
a bristling mustache seemed about to
lift his hand to stay the proceeding.
But then. as Renault uttered the
last note, Berghoff raised his saber. A
muttered command came from his
lips The soldiers, ready to break into
applause, sighted their rifles.
A shot rang out
Jean Renault had sung the role Of
Mario before the firing squad for the
last time.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16
Capital" thought Renault.

Capital" thought Renault. 1T
will be too easy"
But Berghoff was beside the car
now. He grinned, and the blue mole
upon his nose offended Renault as it
had never done before.
"Fleeing?" queried Berghoff. May
be. But let us see. Search him!'
the German soldier-director com
manded
A trooper babe Renault descend,
and he did so with sinking heart
Quickly his hands passed through Re
nault's pockets and now in triumph
he held up to light the envelope the
general had given the tenor.
Berghoff took it with savage glee,
tore it open, and scanned the writing
Then he said: ARREST that man and
take him to the rear!"
1t was over. Renault felt ill-he
was almost afraid. He, the great Jean
Renault, was prisoner of war
In his own machine, under guard,
he was hurried back across the from
tier into Germany. The night was
growing old and the first faint streaks
of dawn began to appear in the sky
The machine drew up before road
side inn, and Renault was ushered
into it's public room.
There, gathered about a table, sat
a group of officers covered with med
ais and gold lace. They were the
brains of the war; Among them was
the commander in chief of the forces
of Germany, the royalblooded, fierce
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16
GoIna Too Ear.

There is no way of conquering the
overbearing and dictatorial attitude of
a man." remarked the determined
looking woman.
Il thought your husband favored
your ideas in most matters"
''IIe is tyrant at heart. asked
him whether he thought women
should be permitted to vote and he
said he thought they should be com.
PEELED to do SO"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

The fortune hunter must act as his
own guide.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

The wise man really looks broken.
hearted when his wife goes for a two
weeks visit
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

No Time

Judge-Why don't you look for
work?
Casey-Oi haven't the tonne to
waste in such Improbable employ
ment.-Judge.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

Lots of people are married secretly,
but the whole world knows when they
are divorced.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16
nothing.

A cynic is a person who knows the
price Of everything and the value of
nothing.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-04-16

Some kings and all babies are borr
rulers.