davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
PLAN LABOR DAY PARADE
Nearly 10000 Workers to March in
St. Paul in Six Divisions-Offi-
cials Invited to Review.

st. Paul.-Between 5000 and 10000
men representing the thirty-eight un-
ion labor organizations of ST. Paul will
parade through the business section
of the city Labor. day, September 6.
This was decided at a meeting of
the parade marshals at the Trades
and Labor hall.
The parade will be in six divisions,
each headed by band. 1t will be
made up of marchers from the unions
and of floats representing the various
industrial activities in which the un-
ion members are employed.
Leading the parade will be pla-
toon of mounted police. Chief Mar
shall Gus Brissman and other officials
of the Trades and Labor assembly will
ride in one of the automobiles. State
and city officials will be asked to join
in the parade and to review the
marchers.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

made living dressing feas in martial
array. They reposed in little boxes
against background of white cotton.
and / often observed them through Y
microscope Their martial spirit had
long since fed, but hope they come
to life and take vengeance on the
thieves
When no one was at home two men
were seen to enter Mr.. Randall's house
at noon and leave an hour later. They
carefully piled up a quantity of sill
yer, but left it intact. They likewise
spurned a gold and pearl necklace
and numerous gold pins. They made
their selection almost entirely from
antiquities and curios, of which Mr..
Randall has large collection. The
only modern article they took was
new suit of clothes.
One of the most valuable objects
missing is an antique Roman gold
pin, which was presented to Mr.. Ran
dali in Venice by an Italian wom-
an of rank They removed and left
behind a topaz stone which was set
in the pin. Many rare Greek coins, a
cameo pin bought in Scotland, a
unique diamond pin and an old gold
watch are among the missing art
cles. Mr.. Randall places his loss at
ST 900
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
SEEING LIFE lU1M
fYaN7 JOHN HENRY
1SSA' ~ GeOlqeX. X.Hobart
EyIX\ \xX1e'l John Henry on the Street Car
John Henry on the Street Car

I've been up and down and over
and across in the surface cars and
my experience is ornamented by
ripped trousers and discolored shins
but my intellect blows out fuse every
time | try to dope out the real way
not to be an End.Seat Hog.
Last Monday / jumped at an early
bird open-face car and it seemed that
all the world was filled with JOY and
good wishes.
| / was smoking one of those Bad
Boy cigars. call 1t Bad Boy
cigar because as soon as it goes out II
gets awful noisy.
The car was empty with the excep
tion of couple of benches.
Two blocks farther on the cal
stopped and a stout lady looked over
the situation.
think she must have been color
blind. because she didn't see the
! lot with me.
It was terrific moment.
john said to myself, don't be
| Hog-move Overt"
And virtue triumphed.
I moved over, and the stout lady
settled squashfully into the end seat
Her displacement was about fifteen
cents worth of bench.
After we had gone about ten blocks
more every seat in the car in front
and behind us was crowded, but no
body could get in our section because
the fat lady held them at bay like Ho-
ratius held the bridge in the brave
days of old.
People would rush up to the car
when it stopped, balance carelessly fore
and aft until their eyes rested on the
vacant seats in our direction, and then
| they would see the stout lady sitting
there, as gracefully IS concrete
| Sphinx.
The people would look at the stout
lady with no hope in their eyes, and
then, with sigh, they would retire
and wait for the next car.
No one was brave enough to climb
the mountain which grew up between
him and the promised land.
After while l began to get tooth
ache in my conscience.
John" said to myself in hoarse
whisper, perhaps after all you were
the Hog because you moved over.
After the lady had climbed over you
she would have kept on to the other
end of the bench where now there is
nothing but sullen space"
l began to insult myself
John" exclaimed inwardly, what
do you know about the etiquette of the
street car? According to the newspa-
pers 1t is only Man who can be a
Hog on the street cars, and since you
are the original cause of blockading
the port when you moved over, you
must be the Hog!"
Then got so mad at myself that I
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

of us may not be Hogs. but there fs
a moment in the life of every man
when he gets near enough to it to be
called Ham Sandwich"
Just then the Disinfecti brothers.
Microbeini and Germicide, walked
over me and l had a short but excit-
ing visit to the slums.
Since that eventful day have
moved over thirty-six times, and out
of the thirty-six people gave the end
seat to all but three of them belonged
to the Mucilage family. and stayed
there.
Therefore | made myself a severe
promise not to worry any more about
my Hog qualifications when movable
or immovable on an openface car.
will do as my conscience dictates,
and walk downtown as much as pos
sible.
And, speaking of street cars, was
in one of those cities recently where
some of the cars stop on the near side
of some of the streets and some stop
on the far side of some of the streets.
Honestly they had me in the air.
left the hotel to attend to some
business downtown and went over to
the near side Of the street to wait for
car
When the car came along l held
my thumb up in the atmosphere warn.
ingly, but the motorman kept on to
the far side and stopped.
BY the time l ran over to the far
side he was gone again, and another
car had stopped at the near side.
When rushed back to the near side
the car passed me going to the far
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

side, and now the near side looked SC
much like the far side that / went
back to the other side, which should
have been the near side, but how
could 1t be the near side when the car
was on the far side, and could not
get near the side in time to catch the
car before it was far away on the far
side?
Just as I rushed back again to the
far side the near side became the
nearer side to catch the car, and
when rushed over again from the far
side to the near side the nearer l got
to the near side the clearer / could
see that while the far side was far
away it was nearer than the near side
which was always on the far side
when / hoped to take a car on the
near side.
Then l began to grit my teeth and
made up my mind to anticipate the &C
tion of the next car by standing half
way between the near side and the far
side, so that could run to either side
the emergency called for
I was standing there about min
ute, much pleased with the idea, be-
cause the near side was about as
far away as the far side, when just
then an automobile sneaked up behind
me and one of the forward turrets
struck me on my personal far side
and hoisted me over to the near side
just as car left for the far side.
l reached out my hand to grasp the
far side step, but l missed 1t and
caught the near side, and by this
time the car was on the far side and
the motorman grabbed the near side
of the electric controller and pushed
it over to the far side, whereupon the
car started for Ell Paso, Tex, at a
speed of about 5000 miles minute.
and there / was with the near side
of four fingers holding on to the far
side of the step and the rest of my
body sticking straight out in space
like a pair of trousers on clothes
line in a gale of wind.
Then suddenly the near side of my
fingers refused to hold on to the far
side of the step, and with the near
side of my face struck the far side
of the tracks, and the near side OF
my brain saw every individual star on
the far side of the Universe.
Then / went back to the hotel and
crawled into the far side of the bed
while friend wife sent for near-side
doctor who lived on the far side of the
block
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
MAY SUE DIVORCED HUSBAND
Court Holds Action to Provide Sup
port for Minor Children
Is Proper.

st. Cloud.-That even though the
final decree of divorce did not pro-
vide for the support of the minor chill
dren, the wife has the right to sue
her divorced husband for a share of
the cost of supporting the children,
was the decision made by Judge Roe
ser in the case of RELY against RELY.
Mrs. RELY lives at Anoka and was
granted a divorce several years ago.
The final decree failed to provide for
the support of the minor children
though awarding them to the mother
RELY, who lives in Morrison coun-
ty, was made defendant in an action
for $4,000 which the wife contended
should be paid towards the support
of the children who have now reach
ed their majority. A demurrer was
entered by the defendant but was
overruled by the court who holds that
the suit is proper.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

refused to talk to myself any fur
ther.
The next day was riding downtown
on the end seat with my mind made
up to stay there and keep the harbor
open for commerce
Never / said to myself, never
will anyone become a human Merri.
mac to bottle up the seating capacity
OF this particular bench while the
blood flows through these veins and
the flag of freedom waves above me-"
At the next corner very thin little
gentleman squeezed by me with a
look of reproach on his face, the like
of which / hope never to see again,
but was Charles J. Glue and firm in
the end seat.
Then a couple of Italy's sunny sons
Of the name of Microbeini and Germi-
eide crawled over me and kicked
their initials on my kneecap and then
sat down to enjoy smoke of domes-
tic rope, which fell across my nostrils
and remained there in bitterness.
After | had been stepped on, sat
on, clawed at and scowled at for
twenty minutes, began to discuss
myself to myself.
John" whispered, do you really
think that the general public appre.
ciates your effort to keep the Harbor
| open?"
And then myself replied to myself
with sigh of exhaustion, Il doa't
! think"
john l said to myself, mo mat.
| ter what your motives may be the
other fellow will always believe yov
| are trying to get the best of it. II
you move over and give the end seat
to another gentleman, he will consider
: it only as his right. II you don't move
over he will think you are a Hog for
! keeping that which is as much yours
as it is his"
l began to grow confidential with
myself.
Civilization is fine idea, but Hu
man Nature can give 1t cards and
spades and then beat it QUIT" l told
myself "The Human Hog was In
vented long before the openface street
car began to stop for him. and there
isn't anybody living who should stoI
to throw stones at him, because
selfishness is like the measles-ii
breaks out in unexpected places. ~
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
BOAT STRUCK BIG 'LUNGE
Fish SO Badly Injured That It Was
Easily Caught, Says Pennsyi-
vania Man.

Meadville, Pa. Sampson, Mead
vile man, speeding in his motor boat
on Conneaut Lake, felt a jar as it
struck some slight obstruction, and
an instant later great muskellunge
came to the surface, foundering along
the top of the water for few feet
and then disappeared.
An hour or two later two boys
playing in shallow water near shcre
discovered a big lunge disabled but
still alive, and they had no difficulty
in capturing him by looping rope
through the gills. The fish, supposed
to have been the same as struck by
the boat, weighed f2 pounds and meas
ured so inches.
This is the largest fish OF this spe>
cies ever caught in Conneaut lake.
Two seasons ago George McFadden
caught 37k pounder with hook and
line.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
RESERVE BANK TO
WELCOME DEMANDS
HAS PLENTY OF MONEY To MEET
FIRST REAL TEST DURING
CROP MOVEMENT.
PREVENTS BIG SHIPMENTS
Many Farmers in Same Locality Have
Different Times for Cutting
Heavy Demands Not Expect
ed by Directors

Minneapolis. first real test of
the Regional Reserve bank during a
crop movement in the Northwest will
be had in the next thirty days Gov
ernment officials will welcome any de-
mands. Last year the bank was not
In operation in time to assist in the
movement of grain. At present the
national and state banks are meeting
the situation.
Peter M. Kerst, director of the Re-
serve bank, said that the officers did
not look for any big demands.
The bank examiners" Mr.. Kerst
said, "have reported that in every
country bank there are large amounts
of commercial paper that is eligible
for rediscount in the Federal Reserve
bank. The member banks can get all
the money they need in ten minutes at
the Reserve bank.
This year in many cases farms
near one another have difference of
two and three weeks in cutting. This
will prevent big shipments at one
time"
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
BISHOP is SHOT AT WlNONA
Rev. Patrick r. Heffron Wounded
Twice by Demented Priest-Con-
dition Is Considered Serious.

Winona, Mimi. - Right Reverend
Patrick r. Heffron, bishop of the
Winona diocese Of the Roman Catholic
church, was shot twice by L. NJ.
Lesches, crazed priest. One bullet
pierced the right lung causing the
most serious wound. The other
caused a flesh wound on the hip.
Bishop Heffron is expected to live,
attending physicians said shortly aft
er the shooting. His condition is con-
sidered serious, however. DR.. w. J.
Mayo of Rochester has been called in
consultation.
Lesches, after the shooting, re-
turned to his room in ST. Mary's col
lege, locked the door and made a
barricade behind it. The door was
forced by Sheriff Parr and Chief Of
Police Huck, who covered Lesches
with their revolyers.
Lesches did not put up a fight. It
was found afterwards that he had
drawn all the cartridges from his re-
volver and thrown them away.
At the police station Lesches said
he shot the bishop because the latter
refused to assign him to regular work.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
THEY "GUY" HIS TIN HAT
Whiting Built 1t Himself, for Himself
to Wear on His Own Head, So
It's His Own Affair.

Bangor, Me.-William H. Whiting
of Jonesport, a seacoast village town
in washington county, doesn't care IL
he is caught out in the rain while
wearing MS new hat. 1t is made OF
tin and has band of copper. In gen.
eral build and dimensions it conforms
to the 1915 model worn by fashionable
young men, Mr. Whiting concluded
that straw was too fiimsy, wool too
hot. and Panama too costly, so he
went to his own tinshop and from the
thinnest tin that he could find built
for himself this novel hat. 1t shines
gladly in the sulight of the morning,
reflects the glory of the sunset, and
echoes musically in the rain.
The only think about it that makes
Whiting any way nervous is that some
day it may attract bolt of lightning
People guy the hat, but Whiting
merely observes that it's his own hat.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Charqe Liquor Law Violation.

Moorhead-J. A. Karlstrom and
two of his employees were arrested on
charge of violating the liquor laws
of the state. This is the first arrest
of any of the former saloonkeepers of
the city on this charge, though most
of the establishments have been sell.
ing soft drinks and tobacco. The
three men were released on bond to
appear in justice court and enter their
plea 1t is said the authorities have
been watching the Karlstrom estab-
lishment for some time and that they
have strong evidence.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

m friend, Hep Hardy, presented
IVA me with neat little gold ham
mer day before yesterday. Why,
don't know.
But now that have 1t I might as
well use it.
Every time hop into one of those
roomy. comfortable street cars in
city of the second, third or even
Fourth class | Immediately contrast 1t
with the wood boxes we use in New
York. and find myself growing red
In the face and biting my nails.
Those SQueezer cars that prowl the
streets OF New York are surely the
breathIess limit, aren't they?
Tne S,vaezer car is the best genteel
1mitstion OF q rough-house that has
ever been Invented.
They are called SqueeZers because
the conductor has to let the passen-
gers out with a can opener.
Brave and strong men climb into
q street car, and they are full of health
and life and vigT, but few blocks
OF the road they fall out backward and
inquire feebly for sanitarium.
To ride on Broadway street car,
for instance, about eight o'clock of an
evening brings out all that is in a
man, including a lot of loud words he
didn't know he had.
The last census shows us that the
street cars In the city of New York
have more ways of producing nervous
prostration and palpitation Of the
brain to the square inch than the
combined population of Amsterdam,
Rotterdam, Tinkerdam and Gotterdam-
merung.
To get In some of the street cars
about six o'clock i5 problem, and to
get out again is an assassination.
One evening recently l rode from
Forty-second street to Fifty-ninth
street without once touching the floor
with my feet.
Some of the New York street cars
lead double life, because they are
used all winter to act the part of re-
frigerators.
1t is cold day when we cannot
hAiu IL SOluol III the SITcGI CARS.
The germs in our street cars are ex-
tremely socia5le and will follow a
stranger all the way home
) Often while riding in the New York
street cars have felt a germ rubbing
against my ankle like kitten Being
q gentleman, at least specifically,
did not reach down and kick it away,
because the law says we must not be
disrespectful to dumb brutes.
Many of these street cars are built
on the same general plan as a can
OF condensed milk
When you get out you cannot get in.
and when you get in you cannot get
out, because you hate to disturb the
strange gentleman that is using your
knee to lean over
Between the seats there is a space
OF two feet, but in that space you
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

will always find four feet, and their
owners, unless one of them happens to
have wooden leg.
Under ordinary circumstances four
into two won't go, but the Squeezer
cars defy the laws of gravitation.
A Squeezer conductor can put twen-
ty-six into nine. and still have four
to carry.
For man with small dining room
the Squeezer car has it's advantage,
but when a stout man rides in them
he finds himself supporting a lot of
strangers he never met before.
One morning l jumped on one of
those Squeezers feeling Just like a
two year old, full of health and hap
piness.
During the first seven blocks three
men, fresh from a distillery, grew up
in front of me and removed the
scenery.
One of them had to get out in a
hurry, so he kicked me on the shins
to show how sorry he was to leave
me.
One of the other two must have
been in the distillery long time, be.
cause pretty soon he neglected to use
his memory and sat down in my lap
When / demonstrated with him, he
replied that this Is free country, and
II he wished to sit down / had nc
business to stop him.
Then his friend pulled us apart, and
resumed the use of my lap.
During the next twenty blocks
mad one of the worst daylight nigh.
mares ever rode behind.
The party who had been studying
the exhibits of the distillery became
obsessed with the idea that my foot
was the loud pedal on a piano and he
started to play the Blue Danube
Waltzes."
That man was such hard drinkel
that he gave me the gout just from
standing on my feet.
Then l jumped off and swore of
and swore at and walked home.
If the man who invented the ides
81 standing up between seats in 9
Soueezer is alive he should have q
monument.
Ny idea would be to catch him alive
md place monument on him, and
,ave the conductor come around
avery ten minutes for his fare.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Minnesota Pioneers Meet

Saltwater, Minnesota.-Sixty seven
years ago the flower of the sturdy
manhood who Inhabited the region
around st. Anthony and st. Paul gath
cred at saltwater and held conven-
tion which eliminated in the forma-
ton of the Territory of Minnesota. To
commemorate that event more than
100 pioneers, only one of whom sat
in the conventions deliberations, but
all of whom have seen the state grow
from infancy, journeyed to Saltwater.
There were the territorials and rela-
tives and friends, 800 in all.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Son Gives Blood to Mother.

Winona-That his mother might
be successfully operated upon at a
Winona hospital, M. c. Shield sub
mitted to an operation whereby blood
was transfused from his body to that
of his parent, Mrs. Emma S. Shield.
Mr.. Shield is an employe of the
appropriations committee of the
house of representatives of Washing
ton, ID. c., and is visiting in this city.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
THIEVES ABDUcT
RED-GARBED FLEAS
Bible Also Included In Plunder
Taken From Home With
Martial Insects.

Hartford, Conn.-f two curious and
unusual burglars who ransacked the
curio room in Herbert Randall's home
bring forth fruits meet for repentance
he thinks they will return an old Bible
they took, whatever disposition they
may make of two red-robed f1eas they
included in their booty. The Bible
was printed in Greek, and was more
than century old. The fleas were
considerably younger-and dead.
The fleas were dressed in red uni
FORMS" said Mr. Randall. 81 bought
them from an old lady in Seattle who
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
To Extend Protective LEAGUE,

Minneapolis meeting was held
in Minneapolis to extend the opera
tions of the Minnesota Game and Fish
Protective league to embrace the en-
tire state. The leagues activities
have been confined to Minneapolis
and Hennepin county.
1t is the intention to organize So
ciety which will be composed of
sportsmen from all parts of the state.
Invitations to the meeting have been
sent to several hundred persons.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Five Caught in Water Under Aut

Rochester-Six young persons OF
Rochester had a miraculous escape
from death when a seven-passenger
car in which they were riding ran
off Cascade bridge, dropped ten feet
and turned over. Five of the occa-
pants were pinned beneath the car In
the water. Miss Amelia Mas was
the most seriously injured, and was
nearly drowned before released from
her position under the running board
Her condition is critical. Elmer
Krusel, whose father owned the car,
suffered q cut astery.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Lacerated by Binder Blades.

Red Wing.-With one hand torn and
his side lacerated by binder blades.
Reuben Shoquist, IS years old, son of
Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Shoquist. lies in
a critical condition at his fathers
home in Belle Creek as the result of a
runaway accident Shoquist was in
front of the machine. repairing it,
when the horses became frightened
and ran away. He was caught in the
guards as the harvester passed over
him. Physicians have hopes for his
complete recovery.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Prehistoric Bones Dug UP.

New Braunfels, Tex.-While digging
on the property of Pete Nowotney on
which is located the Prince Solms ho-
tel. the mammoth bones OF prehia
toric animal we're uncovered at
depth of 26 feet. The bones were put
on exhibition at several places in town
and we're considered quite curiosity
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Killed by switch Engine.

Hastings.-Joseph Lindenfelser of
Hampton. blacksmith, was instantly
killed by a switch engine of the Great
Western road, the locomotive passing
over him twice. His body was badly
mangled.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Mother Of Chief Justice Die

Willmar. - Mrs. Orissa Maxfield
Brown, mother of Chief Justice Calvin
L. Brown of the Minnesota Supreme
Court, is dead at the summer home Of
her daughter, Mrs. George w. Tyler, at
Green Lake, near here.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
eabv Took Lonq Drive with Horse.

Cheboygan, Mich. = Billy Slater.
aged two and half years, decided to
drive his fathers horse he found
standing in front of their home in
Cheboygan, Mich. He managed to un-
tie the halter and started away. II
was two hours before he was found
by "Shep," collie dog Of the Slaters
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
Mower County Pastor-Editor Dies

Austin-Rev. C. d. Belden, for many
years editor of the Mower county
Transcript and author of the Farmer
Ben" column in that paper, died here
Rev Mr. Belden was born near Provi-
dence r. l., May 3, 184S. In November
1874, he located as pastor of the Bap-
tist church here, resigning in January,
1882, to become county superintend-
ent of schools for Mower county.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03

Couple Found Insane on Same Day.
Little Falls.-Adjudged insane ON
the same day, Philip Bolstrom and his
wife, Anna Bolstrom, were taken to
the asylum at Fergus Falls. They
lived on farm at Upsala.
The Ely miner., 1915-09-03
What He Meant.

The Sultan want to speak to you
about the light of the harem.
Grand Vizier-The beautiful Fati
ma?
The Sultan-No, the gas bills.
They're getting too high. - Boston
Globe.