davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
PoWEsHIEk COURT OPENS.

POWESHIEK COURT OPENS.
O%skaloosa, Sept. 1.-The September
term Of the Poweshiek district court
convened at Montezuma Monday, Sept.
6, by Judge Talbot. The grand
jury is summoned to report this morn
ing and the petit jurors on the after
noon of Monday, Sept. II.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
coEHRlN0s ON TRIP.

Fremont, Sept. Mr.. and Mrs. D.
Goehring and Mrs. Logan Hibler of
Fremont, and Mr.. and Mrs. Lewis
Goehring of Ottumwa, left in the form
er's car for Duncan, s. D., for a visit
with their brother, Phil Goehring and
wife. .
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
WEEKS WEATHER.

washington, D. c., Sept. Z. Week
ly weather prediction:
Upper Mississippi valley and plains
states: Fair weather and moderate
temperature until September II or II,
when local showers are probable, fol
lowed by fair weather the last two
days Of the week.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
DEAN MARTIN SUED.

Des Moines, Sept. REV. Everett
Dean Martin, former pastor Of the
First Unitarian church. and editorial
writer here, has been made defendant
in a divorce action filed here by his
wife, Mrs. Esther K. Martin, who
charges cruel and inhuman treat
ment.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
TEAM
DEFEATS MEMPHIS

Bonaparte, Sept. 7.-Bonaparte de-
feated the fast Memphis, Mo, ball
team in at game at that city Sunday,
by a score Of 3 to 0. Gilbert pitching
for Bonaparte, had the hard hitting
Memphis team on his string all
way and let them down with three hits.
Gilbert and Heaton was the battery tor
Bonaparte while Mcpherson. McLans
and Stevens worked for Memphis.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
TRAIN KILLS AUroIsT

Mason City, Sept. Finest Schus.
ter was instantly killed at a crossing
at Rudd by west-bound passenger train
on the Chicago. Milwaukee & St. Paul
railroad. Engineer O'Leary saw the
automobile approaching and tried to
stop the engine, but it was too late.
The automobile was badly smashed
and Schuster was picked up out Of the
debris dead.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
BELL NOT YET lMPLAcE.

O~skaloosa, Sept. THE new bell for
Penn college will not be in place for
the opening Of school,; but the work
will be done soon. contract for the
placing of the new bell and the lower
ing of the old has been let and the man
is supposed to be en- the job.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
BITTEN nv MAD DOG

Iowa City, Sept. 7.-Orphea Yenter,
the little daughter Of Mr.. and Mrs.
Al Yenter, was bitten in the hand by
q mad dog at the home Of her parents
at Oxford. The brain Of the dog was
sent to the psychological laboratory
here. The girl was sent to Iowa
City Immediately to be given the
Pasteur treatment. Judging from
present Indications, she will recover.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
CHARGED WITH SLAVERY

Fort Madison, Sept. FIRED An
derson, Of Marceline, has been taken
back to face charges Of violating the
Mann act. Anderson was arrested
with two girls at Fort Madison. He
is said to have purchased a ticket for
one Of the girls and was arrested un'
der the white slave act.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
GOES TO SEATTLE SCHOOLS.

S%igourney, Sept. IL. L. Toomey,
principal of the Sigdurney high school
for two years past, }has been elected
to be assistant principal OF the high
at Seattle. Wash, alta salary of $1,000.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
EXAMINERS At sIooURNEY

S~igourney, Sept. 7.-Messrs. Israel
and Nye, state examiners Of county
officials, have arrived at Sigourney
and have gone to work checking up
the books of the Keokuk county OF.
lcials.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
FOUR SAVED FROM FIRE.

Iowa City, Sept. Fire destroyed
the home Of Mrs. Anton Holub. Mrs.
Holub and three children were saved
by Ben Moore who broke through a
window just before the roof collapsed.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
BAPTIZED.

THTHTY-EIGH1
What Cheer, Sept. There were a
large number at the river Sunday to
witness the baptizing Of thirty-eight
new members of the Christian and
Methodist churches. The former had
thirty.two and the latter six.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09

liet OF APPOINTMENTS
Following are the appointments:
Oskaioosa District.
District Observation-Disclosures L
Minear. Oskaloosa.
Attica-T. X. Holiday.
Barnes City-C. w. Cochran.
Beacon-Supplied CIV. N. Hall).
Brooklyn-W, H. Neil.
Bussey-A. N. Courtney.
Cedar-Clem Davies.
Deep River-W. 8. Gardner.
Delta-A. A. Heath.
Eddyville-Edward Day.
Ewart-C. L. Rubottom.
Fremont-Hugh Neville.
Grinnell-J. M. Brown.
Harvey-George Pottorff.
Hedrick-A. B. Hightshoe.
Kellogg-supplied Guy J. Win
slow.
Kildun-w. J. Fowler.
Knoxville. F. Robertson.
Knoxville circuit-Supplied q. D
Odell).
Lacey-supplied (Evan Reeser).
Lynnville-Horace Clements.
Malcom-W. A. Smith.
Martinsburg-George Filmer.
Montezuma-George Blagg.
New Sharon-P. M. Conant.
Newton-F. E. Day.
Ollie-Richard Collier.
Oskaloosa-W. H. Perdew.
Pella-J. A. Monkman.
Reasnor-C. E. Fitzsimmons.
Rose Hil-George A. Osborne.
Sigourney-L. H. Lanning.
Sonora-W. ]. Hamilton
Taintor and Sully-Wm. Zabilka.
Thornburg-C. G. Ellis.
Tracey-T. ]. Petit.
What Cheer. G. Rohrbaugh.
ottumwa District.
District superintendent-R J.
Shook, Ottumwa.
Agency-M. D. Cox.
Albia-A. B.. Caldwell.
Avery-E. c. sandmeyer
Blakesburg-To be supplied.
Bloomield-H. B. Scoles.
Buxton-R. L. LaMott.
Cantril-W. I. N. Densmore.
Centerville-J. A. G~lendinning.
Chillicothe-W. e. Berg.
Cincinnati-Robert Comyn-
DrakesvillecW. H. Slack.
Douds-Leando-E. s. Hehner.
Eldon-A. W. McBlain.
Exline-Supplied &C. l. Ellis).
Farson-L. c.. Moore.
Floris-To be supplied.
Iconium-Supplied earl Howells),
Jerome-Supplied g. L. Roper.
Keosauqua-J. G. Behrens.
Kirkville-Supplied "a. D. Huh).
Lovilia-N. A. circuit.
Milton-B. G. Hankins.
Moravia-J. S. Decker.
NMoulton-J. w. Pool.
Mystic-C. H. Montgomery.
Ottumwa first. H. Cudlipp.
rOttumwa Main street-C. A. Field
Ottumwa Willard street-M. E
Reusch.
Ottumwa circuit-To be supplied.
Packwood-W. e. Buell..
Pulaski-O. J. Fix.
Pittsburg-Supplied g. ]. BrabDs)
Richland-J. A. Wilson.
Troy-C. r. Young.
Unionville-H. w. Munster.
West Grove-C. H. Boos.
Burlington District.
District superintendent. L. Ten
nant. Mt. Pleasant.
Batayia-C. E. B~aumgarten. ii
tAENA LNM AW4I 49,
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1915-09-09
Work Is Finished With the
Reading Of Appointments
By Bishop Stuntz
OTTUMWA MINISTER'S
WILL REMAIN SAME
Cudlipp, Field and Reusch
All Returned to Their
Respective Charges

C~enterville, Sept. 7.-(Special):
The Iowa annual conference of the
Methodist church adjourned Monday
at / o'clock with the reading of the
appointments by Bishop Homer G..
Stuntz. This Is the first English
speaking conference he has presided
over since he was elected bishop In
May, 1912, his field being South
America since that time. He goes to
the upper Iowa conference at Dubuque
September IL. At it's closing session
The conference received invitations for
the 1915 session from Bloomfield and
Mt. Pleasant and the latter was chos-
en-, sc to 80. The new church at Mt.
Pleasant was one Of the attractions
for the conference there. Bloomfield
contended that 1t had had fewer con-
ferences than Mt. Pleasant and should
therefore be recognized.
Reject New Legislation.
Every memorial from other confer
ences to general conference proposing
new legislation or constitutional
changes was turned down by the an
nual conference. The laymen. how.
ever, In their association meeting vot-
ed q resolution asking the general con-
ference to provide representation for
laymen in the annual conference. The
annual conference voted to continue
the work Of student pastors in the
state university and at Ames another
year, asking that thereafter other
means be found for the support Of this
work.
W. G. Thorn and l. o. Kemble were
granted retired relations to the con-
ference.
The statistical reports were made
and showed substantial gains all along
the line In membership, Sunday school
attendance, benevolences, pastoral
support and such items.
The Sunday services were very
largely attended, the weather and
roads making auto travel good and
many came from distant points. The
thirty-two miles Of interurban service
running into Centerville also made
transportation efi Client.
List Of Appointments
Following are the appointments:
Oskaioosa District.
District NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. L.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
OFF to the Front.

a theatrical woman went into a
Broadway drug store and leaned upon
the show case. A drug dispenser ad.
vanced precipitately and stood smil.
ing expectantly before her.
Have you got any smokeless pow
der?' inquired the woman sternly.
The young man backed off in fear
that the war news from the other side
had unsettled the woman's mental
balance.
"Smokeless powder?" he gasped
mo. madam, we haven't any. You
will have to go to a gun store for
that
You haven't got any them" she
persisted. piercing him with her deep,
dark eyes.
mo, ma'am." he said, all Of trem-
BILE by now.
What do you call that in that box
in the show case?" she asked, point
ing at the article in question.
That's ordinary face powder, lady"
he explained freely
We'll, that's smokeless, isn't it?"
she said with silvery laugh, and the
drug dispenser was nearly overcome
by the reaction.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Joffre's Nickname.

In note on General Joffre, London
Truth says: "a man of bourgeois
family, very much the soldier, very
much the mathematician, very much
the man Of action, and quite as much
the man Of thought. His family be-
longs to the eastern Pyrenees. An
auctioneer founded it about a hun
dred years ago. This ancestor went
from village to village in a showman's
van laden with goods. They were
trumpeted by him as bargains, 'J'offre
such or such an article at such and
such price!' he cried, when he drew
up in the mayoralty square or market
place of burg or village. He began at
a high figure and went down gradual
ly. His Catalan name proclaimed him
a foreigner. and he adopted the nick
name county folk had given him Of
Joffre-le pere Joffre"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
LatiniZed.

Jack returned home from college,
where he had won high honors as {.
student of ancient languages, but he
pleaded ignorance one day when his
young sister asked him to translate a
sign she had seen of an op,ician
which read thus: "Con sulto sabo
utyo urey es."
Jack struggled manfully with it for
several minutes and gave It up.
at isn't good Latin he said
"There are some words in it that are
Latin. The others aren't anyhow. 1t
doesn't make sense"
"That is what l said," replied the
sister; "but cook translates it with
out any trouble. She says it means
Consult us about your eyes It'd
Bits.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
WAR NEWS FROM KANSAS
UP to A. M. the Situation in jerks
Home Was Reported as Re-
naming Unchanged.

The battle at Short jerks home con-
tinues unabated, says the Atchison
Globe. At eleven o'clock this morn
ing Mrs. jerks made the following
othcial announcement: with bril-
liant charge about breakfast time
hanked my husband with my stalwart
foot and he doubled up and then re-
treated in haste. 1t was almost a rout."
At one o'clock this morning Mr.. jerks
officially announced: The situation
remains unchanged. There have been
attacks and counter-attacks on both
sides, with no decisive results. I'm
now we'll intrenched and confident be-
hind tub in the cellar. l believe |
will ultimately triumph. The enemy is
making many claims, and making
those things is the easiest thing in
the world to do. If she had a cannon
that was as rapid as her mouth / would
be compelled to admit that my posi-
ton is serious. At is it, I concede
nothing. I will conserve my strength
and forces, with the view Of getting
out OF the cellar and consulting a law
yer. l urge American newspapers to
Judge not until the real situation is
known. History will vindicate me
and declare that did not start hostili-
ties. My sister-in-law urged my wife
to start them. My wife didn't need
a great deal Of urging"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
GUESTS ENJOYED A +.
ner by Mrs. Conswcrtn Madc
a Decided "Hit"

It happened that Mrs Nicholas
Longworth. the daughter of former
President Roosevelt, and wife Of the
distinguished Ohio representative,
had presented to her among many
hundred other gifts, two little mon
keys. who lost no time in sustaining
their reputation for mischievous an
tics, and kept the Longworth house
hold In panic as to what was going
to happen next.
They were too nimble and quick
to be punished for the evil of their
ways, and so, week in and week out
the monkeys had n lovely time of 1t.
When Mr.. and Mrs Longworth enter
tanned, the little creatures were shut
up behind lock and key, and usually
wore themselves out in their effort to
break through, and went to sleep in
consequence, from sheer exhaustion.
This had always insured the sue
cess Of party, without any disturb
ing Interruptions, until one fateful
night when Mrs. Longworth looked
up to discover monkey grinning at
her from the top of a picture 1t was
only a second until the other one
climbed up the corner Of the cloth,
and snatched a few nuts from some
of the panic-stricken guests. His
partner in crime leaped from the pic
ture and perched himself upon the
shoulder Of a guest. and the details
OF what followed are not laid down
In the directions given to polite So
ciety as how to entertain.
But" laughed a guest not long
ago. II shall never forget how ut
terly funny it was, nor how we all
enjoyed it, just as soon as we were
assured the monkeys would not eat
u.s."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Atlanta's Dry Sunday.

Atlanta, Ga, March 1.-Atlanta
today is recovering from her frs
really dry Sunday in several years,
and the early morning attendance at
the clubs was notably large. But the
men who must have their Sunday
toddy did not suffer if they had fore
thought, for Chief Beavers warning
enabled them to carry home a pack
age Saturday night. Some carried
their package in bottles and some in
ternally.
The chief sprung a surprise by Dig
ging up an old state statute against
tippling on Sunday, instructed the
chief of detectives to have plain
clothes men watch the clubs and
make cases where any drinks were
served, dispensed, sold or given away.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
FOrcsee Sky Battle.

A battle in the clouds between the
aerial fleets of the German and the
allies may take place at any time
and the Germans will be beaten, ir
the opinion of Glenn II. Curtis, of
Hammandsport, N. Y, manufactures
of aeroplanes and himself an aviator
Mr.. Curtiss has been watching re
ports from the war zone in Europe
regarding the aviation operations
and has had many private reports of
these operations.
at is generally understood among
aeroplane experts that the Germans
are preparing to make an aeroplane
raid on the English coast and that
the English reinforced, perhaps by
the French, will rise to meet Them"
haid Mr.. Curtiss. 81 can see only
one result of such a fight-the defeat
of the Germans. | believe this will
be the case, because the English aero
planes are most efficient in every
respect than those of the Germans.
They are faster, better constructed
and can rise to greater heights
Thus far in the war the Germans
have suffered far more in the air
bates than nave the allies. But 1t
seems certain that there will be
decisive battle in the air befor,
long.
"This war has demonstrated the
utility of the acroplane in war, and
h"s nroved that it is superior to the
dirigble or Zeppelin. The Zeppelin
undoubtedly would have been a great
menace to EnpTand and France had
it not been for the aeroplane.
zone striking feature of the war
has been that the aeroplane corps
has been found to be the safest
branch Of the service. This is easily
accounted, as I view it, for the very
good reason that aeroplanes, when
out for business are not dangerous.
1t is only when aviators are joy rid
ing that thew become danoerous.-
Washington Post.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
IF CHILD is CROSS,
FEVERISH AND SICK
Look, Mother! If tongue is coated,
cleanse little bowels with Cali
fOrnia Syrup of Figs"

=. fornia Syrup of Figs"
49, %.lildren love this "fruit laxative"
and nothing else cleanses the tender
stomach, liver and bowels so nicely.
child simply will not stop play
ing to empty the bowels, and the re-
suit is, they become tightly clogged
with waste, liver gets sluggish, stom-
ach sours, then your little one be-
comes cross, half-sick, feverish, don't
eat, sleep or act naturally, breath
is bad, system full of cold, has sore
throat, stomach -ache or diarrhoa.
Listen, Mother! See if tongue is Goa
ted, then give a tcaspoonful of "Cali-
fornia Syrup of Figs" and in few
hours all the constipated waste, sour
bile and undigested food passes out
of the system, and you have a we'll
playful child again.
Millions of mothers give "Califor-
MIA Syrup of Figs" because it is per-
fectly harmless; children love it, ami
it never fails to act on the stomach,
liver and bowels.
Ask your druggist for a 5O-cent
bottle of California Syrup of Fi~s,"
which has full directions for babies,
children of all ages and for grown
ups, plainly printed on the bottles.
Beware of counterfeits sold here. Get
the genuine, made by "California
Fig Syrup Company" Refuse any
other kind with contempt.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Germany's Sources of Wealth.

In 1912 Germany produced a min.
eral output of $592, 1850, 900 in coal, lig-
mite. iron. zinc, lead, copper. rock salt
and potassic salt. Her foundry prod
ucts that year were: Pig iron, s212,-
62775o; zinc. $2s,5S9, ESQ; lead, $11,-
03S,000; copper, $11,003,500: tin, 49,.
$4,000. Two years ago the fisheries
OF Germany yielded $103.916.99O
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Interested Advice.

az am bothered" he said: az can
marry wealthy widow whom I don't
love or moor girl that | do love in
tensely. What shall I do?"
Listen to your heart" advised his
ccmnanion, "and marry the one yo.
love-"
"You are right my friend. I shall
merry the girl"
"Then can YOU give me the wild
ow's address ?"-London Opinion.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

One kind of danger signal is the
kick woman gives her husband un-
der the table when there is company
for dinner.
Man seldom becomes political
insurgent until his term of Office
has expired.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
His Only Chance.

"Why do you carry that umbrella
little boy?" asked the passer-by cn-
riously. otis not raining and the
sun is not shinine."
"I know" said the youth, "but
when it rains Pa wants it and wher,
the sun shines Ma wants it. and this
is the only kinda weather l can git
ter use it at ALL"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
The Test Supreme.

"You say that women haven't the
endurance of mem"
"Thev haven't"
"That they cannot successfully re-
sist unusual mental strain, or physi-
cal fatigue-that they lack nerve and
patience and enduran,ew
dyes"
"Do you see that little woman over
there?"
"Yes."
"You have never known a man who
could endure what she has endured"
"Eh! Why what is she?"
"She's the reader of the love sto-
ries submitted to a popular maga-
zine."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Dwindling.
Boston Transcript)

Boston Transcript
"Pa, a mans wife is his better
half, isn't she?"
"We are told so, my son."
"Then if man marries twice
there isn't anything left of him, is
there2
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

Kokomo visitor calls New York
a sight. Sos Kokomo.
Ohio congressman's bill asking
more wooden legs, should include
fewer wooden heads.
DR.. Wiley says we devote 60 per
cent to eating. And 100 per cent to
paying for what we eat.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Pats PrecautiOn.

During the preparation for battle
Pat emerged from his tent wearin"
his uniform hind side before. This
soon attracted the attention of his
superior officer, who demanded an ex.
planation.
Pat scratched his head and seemed
oath to comply, but finally replied
with sheopish grin: "Well beeorra
Oh wore it this way. thin when o.
had to retrate Oh wouldn't get shot
in the back."-Life.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
How To Give Ouinine To Children,

FEBRILINR is the trademark name given to an
improved Quinine. Itis Tasteless Syrup. pleas.
ant 10 take and does not disturb the stomach.
ChiIdren take II and never know il is Quiniuc.
Also especially adapted to adults who cannot
take ordinary Quinine. Does not nauseate nor
II the next time you need Ouinine for sny nur
pose. ASK for ounce original package. The
name FEBR1LINE is blown in bottle. IS cepts,
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
SMILES
A Limited Journey.

Ed-"He seems to be wandering
in his mind"
Fred-"Well, he can't stray far"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Friend in Need

The ferret-eyed little man stepped
across the street car aisle and whis-
sered into the car of the tall chap
in gray suit:
"You'd better wipe that bit of egr
off your chin. The income tax man
is just two seats in front of you"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Piles Cured in E to IA Days

Your druggist will refund money il PAZO
OINTMENT fails to any case of Itching
Blind Elccding or Protruding Piles in to IA days
Tho ..rst '.n..Nn gives Ease and Rect. Soc
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Invigorating to the Pale and Sicl<iy

The Old Standard general strengthening tonic
GROVES TASTELESS chill TONIC, drives on,
Malaria. .enriches the blood and builds upthe sys.
tenn. a true tonic. For adults and children. SOC
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
One of the Three.

Susie's grandmother had been scold-
i..g her. Susie felt indignant, but
had been taught never to "answer
back" However, she got even. TAX
ing her kitten in her arms, she thus
soliloquized:
"Kitty, 1 wish one of us was dead
this minute. Not you kitty, nor me
kitty, but one of us three in this
ROOM"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Cures Old Sores, Other Remedies Wont Cure.

are cured by the wonderful, old reliable DIR.
Porter's Antiseptic Healing Oil. II relieves
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Patient Search.
(New Orleans States)

New Orleans States)
A man entered the cloak room at
the end of a banquet and began to
smash in silk hat after silk hat.
"Hold on, boss! Wot fo' yo'
manded the attendant.
"I'm looking for nv own," the gen
teman answered. "It's an opera hat
--collapsible. you know. None of
these seem to be it,
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
In Excellent Form.
buffalo ExpresS)

"My boy, must congratulate you
on your consistency"
"Thank you, sir, Ter"
eyes, sir, you've worked here three
weeks and you haven't done anything
right yet"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Translated for the Cook.

Customer-"Here, waiter! Where
are the olives? Hold on! Bring me
half melon and some cracked ice."
Waiter (loudly) "Dumdums, half
a bombshell and bowl of shrapnel."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

Receiver is asked for L. I. Potato
Good Job for N. Y. Consumer.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Devotion.

philadelphia Public Ledger)
She-Would you leave your homo
for me?
Held leave a baseball game in
the ninth inning with the score n
tie.