Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1915-12-01
Notes on
Good form
Calling

Calls. as far as the city h concerned.
have passed almost into the land OF
oblivion. N the rush and hustle Of
metropolitan life few women and still
fewer men find time to pay this social
duty. though there are certain calls
which cannot be neglected by those
who pride themselves on good man
ners. Dinner calls must be numbered
among these. To dine formally at the
home Of some hostess and then not
pay her the compliment OF a call with
IN two weeks b q rudeness which
should not be perpetrated under any
circumstances.
Calls Of coincidence and congratula-
ton must be observed. too, though
these may take the form Of leaving
cards only. II one 30 desires.
But It Is not this sort of call we are
discussing today; 1t is the call paid to
a newcomer to q community. great
many OF which win be paid at just
this season Of the year. when q good
many householders have changed their
residence.
In the city no, one in the new neigh
borhood pays the slightest attention to
the newcomer. Every one b occupied
with his own business and has no time
to pay attention to the stranger other
than to note just what kind Of furni-
ture b moved into the vacant apart
ment. But In the suburbs 1t Is differ
ent. There sociability Is more In evi-
dence, and the advent Of q newcomer
Is noted with interest.
It would seem that to make Q first
call upon q newcomer Is very easy Of
accomplishment: that 1t Is a plain rule
of etiquette followed on both sides-on
the side Of the caller and on that Of
the one called upon. But here the side
issues are constantly arising. simply
because there is a deviation from the
recognized rule on the part Of the one
or the other. or maybe on the part Of
both.
Occasionally calling acquaintance
Is not established between the resident
and the newcomer subsequent to the
interchange of first calls. The differ
ence In social position often accounts
for this. joined to individual personal
ity on either side. which renders any
thing like friendship almost impossible.
Another phase in this wide. issuing
subject occurs when a first call Is made
by an extremely vivacious woman who
ing made entirely into her own hands.
thus preventing things taking their
own course. On her departure she will
perhaps say: You must come and SEQ
me. l am generally at home at half
past I. You must come and have tea
with me-" This casual invitation Is
taken seriously. and instead OF a formal
call being returned the recipient Of 1t
takes for granted that she Is expected
to come to tea with her new neighbor
and therefore presents herself ut the
usual tea hours. half past 4. not asking
n Mrs. G. Is at home. but merely say
Ing. Mrs. G. expects me-" and IL much
disconnected when informed that Mrs.
G. IL not at home. Therefore she leaves
cards. one Of her own and one Of her
husbands, and returns home.
Matters between the two women are
now at q deadlock. They have ex.
changed first calls. 1t is true. but the
newcomer considers that she has been
very cavalieriy treated and Il supposed
to resent 1t and stand on her dignity.
The resident is 10 accustomed to say
the same thing to each Of her new &C.
quaintances that she never gives the
matter thought and does not think II
worth while to refer to II at subse-
quent meetings. only wonders little
why this or that lady h so cool in her
manner tOwa ri hpr