davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
No Spooning in Chicago

And this in Chicago
 Every schoolboy has laughed over the top of his history as he read of the punishment by the Puritans of the man who kissed his wife on the door step.
 Yet in Chicago the other day a man and his wife were haled into police court and fined S5 and costs for in- terrupting the peace and dignity of the city. They were riding in their automobile along boulevard and by islanders reported that the man kissed his companion twelve time in three blocks, although the auto was run ming high rate of speed. The magistrate who pronounced the sentence must have been old and forgetful of his honeymoon days, for the fact that the couple were man and wife failed to move him to clemency.
 If this incident had taken place in Concord, N. H., Montpelier, Vt., or Salem, Mass, it would not strike the reader as so peculiar-but the idea of blase Chicago adopting such a mein of puritanical modesty is sufficient to send a ripple of amusement all over the country.
 Can it be that family affection in Chicago has become so rare that any public manifestation of it is drowned upon as undesirable?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 Always try to remember that when you are laughing at a man behind his back there are lot of men behind your back who are Laughing at you.
 The reason why father knows that Sher- man was right when he remarked that war is hell is because father has to use safety pins to fasten the holes in the toes of his socks together while mother is at her club knitting feet warmers for the men in the trenches.
 Every now and then in your wanderings you run into a man who gives you the inn pression that he is wearing long stock ings and gauge undershirt with baby rio bon in it.
 A pimply princess with a frog face knows that every man in town has de- signs upon her. if you will let her tell
 it. But a pretty girl keeps her mouth shut because she is ashamed to admit that about 800 men try to firt with her every day.
 If man stays around the house all the time his wife has no use for him and if he stays away from the house all ths time she is as mad as wet hen.
 Too many married men try to be faith full to some other mans wife. Why is it that red-headed man never gets bald?
 A man will get mad if you call him a hleary-eyed monkey. and yet he will feel real proud if you tell him that his new baby looks just like him. Whats the use? If father goes out al night, mother will nag him when he gets back because he doesn't take her ou, somewhere like other husbands take their wives. And If father stays home al night and offers to take her out some where. mother will nag him because she doesn't want to go out and will nag him | because she hasn't lot of nice clothes to wear like other mems wives nave | A princess doesn't mind wearing low necked waists and short skirts and ex- posing bony chest and bony ankles pe- cause she realizes that she isn't bony where you can't see 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
Renewed Confidence In Real Estate

Recent announcements of the consum- nation of gigantic deals in properties of Birmingham and vicinity have served to arouse renewed interest in the real estate situation here" rema arked. McLin J. Car ter, the hustling real estate man,
 "A note of confidence has been struck, end capital is beginning to loosen up. There are, as a matter of fact, negotiations now under way between interests controll- ing large local properties, and it will prob. ably be only a question of a short time before other important deals will have been announced. While if is true that Cor the past year there has been a lull in large sales on the Birmingham market this year has been occasioned by inac. tivity in the industrial situation and not to lack of recognition of real estate values. Large industrial operations, how ever, have now taken on renewed life and with the increase in pay rolls things will soon begin to hum.
 For the past few months the man Of small income has been seeking investment. any many attractive bargains in homes snd unimproved property have been cured in outlying sections of the city. Of late, however, men of large capital have found themselves unable to resist tempting opportunities for lucrative ln- vestment in this locality and feeling of optimism Is now beginning to permeate the real estate situation here.
 At the beginning of the European war the Birmingham real estate market. along with other interests here, was naturally seriously affected by the wave of pessim- ism which swept the country But un- deriving this unfavorable state of affairs there was a faith in the ultimate value of Birmingham dirt which could be shaken neither by wars nor rumors of wars. With the return of industrial ac tivity, the faith expressed by people who have invested heavily in the property of this district is now being fully vindi- cated.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
GOOD MANNERS
From the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star SIX xAC, shake hands with Tom Nor
 NU gan Tom, this is Bill McIn-
 lV1 tosh."
 In that way a man introduced to each other two of his friends the other day, accompanying the introduction with such resounding thump upon the back of each that it jared their hats loose
 The man who did the introducing had an idea, no doubt, that he was a very clever pleasant-mannered and jolly fel- low. It was that kind of a man the foet Cowper had In mind when he wrote his stanzas on friendship:
 nnse~
 The man who halls you Tom or Jack, And proves by thumps upon your back
 How he esteems your merit Is such a friend that one had need Be very much his friend indeed,
 To pardon or to bear it.
 great writer once said there wat no greater error than to "mistake vulgar familiarity for gentlemanlike easel
 In the old days, before the age of free schools, when boys and girls were taught mostly in private schools or by tutors. much attention was given to the acquire ment of a good address" How to sit, to stand, to carry on a conversation, to make and receive an introduction, to bow with ease and grace: all of those things were as much part of the schooling Of boys and girls as was the teaching of reading writing and arithmetic.
 And let no one think it was not an inn portant part of boys training. Many a man has climbed high on the ladder of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
Cold Weather In Richmond

In Richmond May and June are usual ly very warm months, but it is re- markable coincidence that the last Con- federate reunion-eight years ago-and the reunion being held this week were accompanied by uncomfortably cool spells said a member of Birmingham s Virginia colony. 'I was in Richmond at the 1907 reunion and it was cold enough for fires.
 "A cold rain in Richmond this week made the weather conditions extremely disagreeable. But the ardor of the vet erans and of the Sons and Daughters of Veterans was unrestrained.
 T feel almost sure that Birmingham will have the 1916 reunion"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
LOVE IN THE WINDS

By Richard Hovey. When I am standing on mountain
 crest
 Or hold a tiller in the dashing sprays My love of you leaps foaming in my
 breast.
 Shouts with the winds and sweeps to
 their foray. E My heart bounds with the horses of the And plunges in the wild ride of the night. Flaunts in the, face of tempests the large
 glee
 That rides out fate and welcomes gods
 to fight. Ho, love I laugh aloud for love of you. Glad that our love is fellow to rough
 weather; No fretful orchid hothoused from the dew But hale and hearty as the highland
 heather; Rejoicing, in the wind that -srss and
 thrills, Ccmrade of ocean. playmate | tl.s AIiis. Z.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
Plans for Warrior Highway

thorities will lose no time in perfecting plans for great highway from Birming- haw to the Warrior river, said man who keeps in touch with the board of revenue
 T am glad that City Engineer Ken drick and County Engineer Clark are to collaborate, so to speak in the work of locating a route through the rugged approaches to the river. They will, I un- derstand, make joint report on the route and the cost This report will be ready, possibly within a few weeks"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
WHAT MOVED ,EM

From London Tit-Bits.
 school teacher recently gave his rupils lecture on patriotism. He pointed out the high motives whicn moved the territorials to leave their homes and fight for their country.
 The school teacher noticed that one boy did not pay attention to the in struction and as a test question ne aske ed him.
 What motives took the territorials to war?"
 The boy was puzzled for moment. then. remembering the public send-o of the local regiment at the railroad station, he replied ''Locomotiyes, sir
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
HIS OPINION.

It's a dreadful thing to sell liauor on Sunday said the reformer
 Yes 1t is,' replied MT. Jagsby .pco- pie who lack the foresight to lay in a sun ply on Saturday night that will last them until Monday, don't deserve any synpa- thy and, furthermore, think bart .uders are Just as much entitled to spend Sunday with their families and take a little outing In one of the city parks as anybody else. ''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
EXCESS OF CAUTION.

ENOEoo UT CAUIION, Do you always say what you think in your speeches?"
 No" answered Senator Cuff. T find it safer to say what l think my constirt- uents want me to say. and in such way that it is subject to at least two inter- pretations."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
LAzYTOWN LOCAL NEWS


 The mail carrier has not come in from the Calf Ribs neighborhood in going on four weeks, and 1t is feared his mule has baked on him. That is one of the main troubles with mule. When 1t desdes to balk. it does not seem to care how much mail matter there Is marked Tn haste D
 Jefferson Potlocks has bought paddock for his front door He did not grow sus- picious until he attended a protracted meeting at Bounding Pillows and learned from the preacher how mean the people are
 Fish should never venture out far from where they are matched until they learn to swim.
 The magistrate at Rye Straw has come into possession of pair of squarc-rimmed spectacles This will enable him to look at all evidence sauarely when sitting on a case.
 Miss Flutie Belcher Is candidate for the admiration of Yam Sims. subject to his action at the next party.
 The depity constable left on hurry call for Bounding Pillows this morning. where he wil attempt to arrest the unknown man who held up and robbed the mai carrier of several Confederate bills ol large denomination. Before leaving. thu depity put on his extra star and place. stove-eye in his shirt bosom, in case tn, defendant tried to shoot him. A customer has broken the spider wei that has been across the door of tn, Rye Straw store for several days. Thi, ia a n indication that husiness condition, are fast improving. Sidney Hooks is erecting fence arouns mule he traded for last week. The sawmill boiler at the head of Ginle creek blowed up Tuesday morning. Anon; those present just before the explosion was Luke Mathewsla.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
FRANK, ANYWAY.

FRANK, ANYWAY. T can never marry you, Then you'll break my heart Let me finish. can never mary you until"
 Please don't ask me to save up cer- tain sum of money first. That would take too long"
 Please don't interrupt me again. I can never marry you until I'm convinced mo- body else wants me-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
NO CHATTERER.

He never calls attention to the foliing of the rain And never makes remarks abcui the brightness of the day: A man you seldom meet with, but the :olt, tis very plain. Who doesn't care 0 talk when h.. has nothing much to say
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Chicago maintains it's reputation for e. ing large wet" town by spending sl40 : 0O0,O00 a year for drinks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Whaclling a bass drum al the psycholog- athlete jump higher. Firing a cannon un- expectedly in his rear should get even better results
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

shortage of meat is reported in Glas- gow, but hungry Chicagoans can subsist for days on the stockyards breeze.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

BEGINNING THE DAY-"If yc love me ye will keep my commnnd- ptenfs.- This is Christ's test or bye. Firing my love to the earth, Lord, and face 1t with this coio criterion. Rebul<e love wh'ch protests but does not obey. May look for my joy in doing Thy will. For Cbrfstss sake, Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

European soldiers find 1t a painful outy to shoot spy, probably because it is minus the 'sportsman's thrilr' which re- suits from putting a bullet through a mans head when he pores it above d trench
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

It Is highly agreeable to have Henryk Sienlliewicz praise the United States even if most Americans cannot pronounce his name.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Jess Willard wants s3oOOo for his next fight. Defeating anyone of the present aspirants for purse of that size world be the easiest money he ever earned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
LEADING AT LAST.

The dream of his life was to be Il; inc head of the procession"
 Was it ever realized?p Yes. He died yesterday"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Still, when you come to think about it. lambastng Josephus Daniels isn't the proper way to go about getting a better navy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

General Huerta enjoys seeing the juven- He members of his family playing with American toss Most supposed hre-eaters are tame enough at home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

The past year in New York has been rather unsatisfactory to the dramatic crit to please.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

After coming out unsclthed from the on- slaughts of Boss Barnes. Colonel Roose- welt had to go and break one of his own slats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

The summer girl show does not fer the merry maidens of winter girl shows. for the simple reason that further cur tailment Is impossible
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

It may be claimed eventually that the Lusitania was a superdreadnaught dis guised as passenger ship by the pres ence Of American passengers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Efforts to swat free lunch have met with desperate resistance, on the ground that it is a grand old American institu- ton
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
A PAINFuL MEMORY.

If I should ask you to earn your break fast, what would your reply be?" said the housewife.
 Dat would depend, mum. on de jou an de meenu," answered the tramp. I made deal like dat wid lady onct al after I'd chopped wood fur an hour she handed me couple of cold battercakes" OPPORTUNITY FOR SOCIAL STUDY.
 You seem to have great deal of trou- ble in keeping servant girl. Mrs. Dop- pei"
 Oh dear. yes! If were compiling data on the artistic temperament as shown by domestics, my experiences would be extremely valuable, but since merely want somebody to do the h ,use work. they are most annoying
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

PROBABLY DOESN'T KNOW HIMSELF
 A newspaper writer says Paderewski was man first and an artist af erwaf6 Always had an idea that Ignace vas born artist who in course of time grew to be man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

The French soldier dislikes to shave while at the front and is not particular about keeping clean. In his opinion dress ing up to die is waste of time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A DISTURBING THOUGHT.

Now doth the fond suburban wight
 His garden tend with loving cafe, And scarcely can he sleep at night,
 For fear the neghbors' chicks arc the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

The automobile bandit can see the peni- tentary staring him in the face when he has engine trouble.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
TRUE.

The sort of dame who cannot smi,e Unless her clothes are right in style, Is neither shallow nor inhuman, But proves herself very woman
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
A RoMDY PLAYER

From the Gadsden Times-News
 The Kaiser treats this country as if it were umpiring the scrap between England and Germany.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
DEPENDS ON THE PERSON.

Some peoples .dea of bad news Is to hear that millions of Poles are dying of starvation, while the most depressing an- nouncement other people can hearsis that there will be no new Lharley Charlin pic ture for a week
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Boiled down to essentials, the German reply to President Wilson's note Is mas terpiece of evasion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
ALABAMA PRESS

Talladega Daily Home: Editor Ayers of the Anniston Star declines to become one Of the Heading lights" of the Alebama press as to matrimony. He is a modest and confirmed old bachelor.-M Montgomery Times. We'll, then, 1t is up to the fair sex of the Equal Suffrage association to convince Brother Ayers of the error of his way and draw him into line.-Huntsville Times. What you fellows got against Harry anyway? Has he ever done you any dirt? Let him alone.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
AS SHE IS SPOKEN

From the Talladega Daily Home. Mon Dieu, Ach Himmel. Blawst it. piablo. Dammit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
CONSIDER THE COST.

Oh, folly's price is often high
 And more than most of us can Day, Methnks an urgent reason why
 Mankind should walk the narrow way.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
Our Foreign Relations

"A most delicate stua ton has developed of late in our diplomatic relations said w. F. Urquhart of Birmingham.
 With the sinking of the Lustania by a German submarine public indignation became aroused to the boiling point. War like expressions were heard on every hand and the sensational press of the country was most bitter in it's description of the hcrrors incident to the destruction of the British vessel on which many Amer jeans had taken passage. President Will son, however, retained his boise in the face of the intense excitement which swept the country; and he was supported by the more conservative journals of the nation. Thus far the counsels of peace have prevailed, although the gravity of the
 situation is still great In order to uphold the respect for the American flag and the rights of our citizenship the President felt constrained to make demands of repudi- ation of the act of the German submarine commander and a satisfactory explana- l ton of the affair by the government of | that country. Dispatches from Washing ton indicate that the answer received from
 the German government has failed to comply with several of the more impor- tant requests made in the American note, and il now seems as though diplomatic re-
 lations will be severed with that country
 but this may yet be averted. l sincerely
 hope that the United States will not be-
 come involved in war.
 | The Mexican situation is also taking or a serious aspect; and this country may yet be forced to intervene and establish
 more stable government in the war-rid-
 den republic to the south of us; but this
 may also yet be avoided. One thing is I certain and that is that all other means
 of bringing about satisfactory under standing between the United States and
 both Germany and Mexico will have been 1 exhausted before we resort to arms.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Gadsden Times-News: Gadsdens steel mills are going to run all summer, a sign that they are unusually prosperous.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03
Tennis Tournament

Christian association are proving most popular this season." remarked H. R.. Howell.
 Tne tournaments which have been held thus far have aroused much interest among the membership of the association. and tennis enthusiasts have worked with vigor to acquire the necessary skill to participate in the events. One tourna- ment came to close Wednesday. Other tournaments will be held later on in the season. The courts have been brought up to a state of perfection, and the game ie greatly enjoyed by those who partici- pate It affords healthful exerctse and is in other ways beneficial"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Anniston Evening Star: What is so rare as day in tuner" Well, we should say. sorter off hand, as it were, a man who has never asked, 'Is it hot enough foi your?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

The hearts of old, gave handsj But our new heraidry fs-h"""s' ""'
 hearts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Gadsden Evening Journal: Plant corn. If your cotton failed it may be good thing for you, MT. Farmer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, rostofnce as second class matter un- der act of Congress March B. lSi9.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Dothan Eagle: Children head the list of undesirables judging from the rooms to rent to couple without children adver- tisemcnts one sees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-03

Decaturs Daily: Having voluntarily &C., cepted the job of umpiring the Mexican situation, it seems to be up to the United States to order the revolutionists to either fight or feed.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1915-12-11
EDITORIAL AMANITIES.

Down in St. Johns parish there are
two papers printed in French, L'Observs-
teur and lie Meschacebe, which are just
now engaged in war of words with
each other as to the relative merits OF
their respective candidates for local OF
flee, especially for that of sheriff; and
he who thinks the French Creoes use
only the most chaste language should
read what the editors Of the papers say
to each other.
We only have TObservateur and,
therefore, can only quote few lines
from its column and half editorial as y
sample of what it says, as follows:
"The editorial, if we must call it 50.
shows that this young man went to
school for one purpose: to learn and de-
velop the gray matter which, unfortu-
nately, is not to be found in his cram
ium, same having been taken away and
replaced by monster spider
We are told by reliable parties 'ha. .Nis
'brainy editor of lie Mesabcebe has placed
standing contract with every butcher
of the right bank and ? few of left This
is why he has monopolized all the
brains" There is scarcasm.-Ruston
Leader.