The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-03-24

tracted from me, laid off my
 workmen the next morning.
 They trooped in bright and early, considerably augmented by fresh recruits, who came to share the bene fits of my innocuous prodigality, and if I live to besa thousand I shall never again. experience such noisome half hour as the one I spent in listening to their indignant protests against my tyrannical oppression of the poor and needy. Ins the end I agreed to pay them, one and all, for full days work, ande they went away modified, calling me true gentleman to my face and heaven knows what to my back.
 Punctually at 9 o'clock that evening was in the balcony, thanking my lucky stars that it was a bright moon lit night. There was every reason to rejoice in the prospect of seeing her face clearly when she appeared at her secret little window. But she wore white, fifmy veil. naturally conclud- ed that she was homely.
 Good evening" she said on opening the window.
 Good evening" said I, contriying to conceal my disappointment. How is the baby?'
 Very much better, thank you. It was so good of you to stop the work men.v
 Won't you take off your veil and stay awhile ?'' asked, politely face tious. tIt is net quite fair to me, you know,
 Her next remark brought a blush of confusion to my cheek. A silly notion had induced me to don my full even ing regalia, sptketaI coat and all. Nothing could have been more ludf- crously ineOngruous than my appear ance, am sure, and I never felt more uncomfortable in nay life.
 'sHow very nice you look in your new suit,'' she said. and I was aware of a muf1ed quality in her ordinarily clear, musical voice. She was daughing at me. s.Are you giving dinner party ?''
 q usually dress for dinner,o I lied with some haughtiness. And so does s Poopendyke,1 1 added as an after thought My blush deepened as I re- called the attenuated blazer in which my secretary brea kfasted, lunched and dined without discrimfpatio
 sEFor Gretel's benefit, I presume"
 tsAha! You do know GreteI, then ?''
 "Oh, I've known her for years. Isn't she a quaint old dear?''
 t'I shall discharge her in the morn ing,'' said I severely. ''She is liar, and her husband is a xpoItroon. They positively deny your existence in any shape or form
 s.They won't pay any attention to you,'' said she, with a laugh. They are fixtures, quite as much so as the walls themselves. You'll not be able to discharge them. My grandfather tried it fifty years ago and failed. After that he made it a point to dis miss Conrad every day in the year and GreteI every other day. As well try to remove the mountain, MT. Smart. They know you can't get on without them.''
 q have discharged her as a cook, ; I said triumphantly. s.A new one will be here by the end of the week.
 .sOh,,' she sighed pIaintively, "hcw glad aml She is an atrocious cook. I don't like to complain, MT. Smart, but really it is getting so that can't eat anything she sends up. It is jolly of you to get in a new one. Now We shall be Very happy
 ssBya lover said I, completely stag gered by these revelations.
 t'I have thought it over, MT. Smart" she went on in a businesslike manner, esand I believe we will get along much better together if we stay apart.
 Ambiguous remarks ordinarily reach my intelligence, but I was so stunned by preceding admissions that could only gasp:
 "Do you mean to say you've been subsisting all this time on my food?'
 ooh, dear me, no! How can you think that of me? Gretel merely cooks the food I buy. She keeps a distinct and separate account of everything, poor thing. I am sure you will not find anything wrong with your bills. MT Smart. But did you hear what I said a moment ago?"
 t'I'm quite sure that I did"
 'sI prefer to let matters stand just as they are. Why should we discom- mode each other? We are perfectly satisfied as wet
 s'I will not have my new cook giving notice, madam. You surely can't ex- pect her-or him-to prepare meals for two separate''-
 '.I hadn't thought of that" she inter rupted ruefully. Perhaps if I were to pay her-or him-extra wages it would be all right" she added quickly. ssWe do not require much, you know"
 I laughed rather shortly-meanly. fear.
 "This is most extraordinary. ma