The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-01-17
She Tells How She Became Addict and Describes Her
Sufferngs During Ten Years Victim of the
Drug-Her Successful Fight for Cure

! downward stroke of the morphine
curve.
However, break off here any elabor-
ate attempt to describe subjectively the
effects of morphine upon my mind
Let 1t only be said that on one certain
day twelve years ago l sought refuge
from a disagreeable experience existing
outside Of me by introducing into the
tissues OF my own body an element
which had powers of mischief sufficient
to multiply a hundredfold the evil re-
suits of the thing l fled from.
1t may be that the reader is surprised
by the absence OF any reference to the
hypodermic needle. / did not use the
needle. The idea of IL was repulsive
to me. / know the great majority OF
morphine addicts do use II. There are
things to be said for the needle. IL
works quickly. The drug is Immediately
admitted to the circulation and the
effects are obtained in a shorter time.
Besides 1t is more economical. Half the
quantity OF morphine taken through the
mouth Will give the same effect il in
jected hypodermically. &.
People who take morphine hypo-
dermcally get the needle habit. They
become very expert and develop a kind
of exquisite artistry in the handling Of
these instruments. With as much grace
as one is supposed to smoke or to sip
wine, these gourmets of the needle will
insert the steel point in their flesh and
consume n whole half hour in with
drawing II. They will be engaged in
conversation, laughing and joking, with
their minds apparently furthest from
the tiny tube in their hands. yet all the
while by the most delicate and steady
pressure they are slowly injecting the
drug into their veins and extracting
the needle from their flesh.
Ugh, The very thought is loathsome.
Besides sometimes there are scars. OF
course that is usually from uncleanli-
ness and often from injections in breast
or arms where the needle is thrust
through the clothing and becomes in
fected by il.
But there are other objections TO the
needle. 1t is bothersome. The addict
must always carry a spoon to heat
water in which to dissolve the tablets
and must have fire 30 heat the spoon.
\ gas jet is not always available It
is inConvenent and irritating to have
to burn a whole box of matches. three
or four at a time. under the bowl Of
the spoon at a moment when the nerves
are a-rack and the whole system is
clamorng for the drug.
But even If these conditions can be
met, they are burdensome. considering
that the average addict must have the
drug at least four times a day-one of
these times being just before retiring.
But to return to my own experience.
Morphine does not give pleasure. II
creates pain. This is It's ultimate and
positive effect. The pleasure it is sup
posed to produce is "A mere temporary
form Of anesthesia The eXhilarating
effect is the first thrill of pain vibrating
so rapidly one does not recognize ii as
such. Let that ne written in letters
as tall as the mountains. Morphine is
pain producer MorIIhine is "A nerve
destroyer. 1t weakens the Will. 1t
disrupts the foundations OF the mind.
After five years another blow fell.
Business reverses overlook the family.
Servants and our home, my husbands
business and his business capacity all
melted away The entire responsibility
devolved upon me.
have always been n woman OF
pride and self-respect, as well as OF
strong affections. l had we'll to do rel
atives who would provide for us. There
We're many who would gladly have
taken our beautiful children. But 1
did not purpose TO become a dependent
nor to see my family broken up.
was willing to accept help, but only
Of that sort that would help me to help
myself.
In such circumstances, to the con-
firmed drug fiend, nothing remained but
more morphine. I took more morphine.
tried to keep myself soaring all the
time ! lived in morphine sunlight.
l faced my responsibilities with a NOR
phine courage and went about my daily
round of duties with a morphine
strength.