davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
70 LIFE WIM
JOHN HENRY
@Ge0lgeVHobart
John Henry Goes SIeishridins

GAY! isn't it great to get all wrapped
- up in fur robes in fine old slelgn
and let fine old horse drag you over
the fine old snow on fine old coun'
try road?
Answer: 1t is.
It's great if all the ingredients are
properly proportional. but nine times
out of ten something goes wrong with
the horse or the sleigh or the snow or
the road and you find yourself four
miles from nowhere, sitting on an ice
hummock and screaming for transpor-
tation. while the harsh winds of win
ter are biting their initials on your
southern exposure.
Peaches and | went to visit Uncle
Peter and Aunt Martha upstate, and
when friend wife found the ground
covered with snow, right away she
began to sit up and beg sleigh ride.
She said that the sweet jingle-jangle
of the bells would bring rest to her
nerves after a season OF trying to
cross the streets in New York without
being struck by taxicab. SO Uncle
Peter told me where to find a livery
stable and off hiked.
Anyone who has never lived in a
semi-rural town will doubtless recall
what handsome specimens of equine
perfection may be found in the local
livery stable-not.
The liveryman in the town where
Uncle Peter lives is named Henlopen
Laffenwell, and he looks the part.
l judged from the excited manner
in which he grabbed my deposit
money that he had a note falling due
next day.
Then Henlopen shut his eyes, count
ed six, turned around twice, multi
piled the day of the week by 10, sub
tracted Z, and the answer was a cream
colored horse with four pink feet and
q frightened face.
The gargoyle gazed at me sadly.
sighed deeply and then backed up
into the shafts Of a sleigh that looked
something like a BARRIERS chair and
something like the tumbril Marie An
toinette used the afternoon she went
to the guillotine.
The liveryman said that the name of
the horse was Lohengrin, because 1t
seemed to go better in German.
l drove Lohengrin up to Uncle Pc
ter's residence and all the way there
We ran neck to neck with a coal cart.
Lohengrin used to be a fast horse.
but quite some time ago he stopped
eating his wild oats and now leads a
slower life.
When l reached the gate whistled
for Peaches. because l was afraid to
get out and leave Lohengrin alone.
He might 60 to sleep and fall down.
Friend wife came out, looked at the
rig and then went back in the house
and babe everybody an affecting fare.
we'll.
There were tears in her eyes when
she came out and climbed into the
sleigh. She said she was crying be.
cause Aunt Martha wasn't there to
see US driving away and have the
laugh Of her life.
We started of and we were rushing
along the road, passing a fence and
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

overtaking a telegraph pole every once
In a while. when suddenly we heard
behind us a very insistent choof.
choof-choof-choof!
ITS one Of those Careless Wagons"
/ whispered to Peaches, and then we
both looked at Lohengrin to see If
there was a mental struggle going
on in his forehead, but he was rush.
ing onward with his head down, watch
ing his feet to make sure they didn't
step on each other.
Choof-choof-choof came the Torpedo
Destroyer behind US, and l wrapped
the reins around my wrist. in case
Lohengrin should get uneasy and want
to print horseshoes all over the auto
mobile.
The next minute the machine passed
US. going at the rate of IA constables
an hour. and as it did so Lohengrin
stopped still and seemed to be biting
his lips with suppressed emotion.
l coaxed him to proceed in English,
in Spanish and Italian, and then in a
pale blue language of my own, but
he just stood there and bit his lips.
believe If he had possessed finger
nails he would have bitten them too.
gave the reins to friend wife with
instructions how to act il the horse
started. and l jumped out to argue
with him.
Just when l had picked out a good
sized hunk of ice which was to be my
argument. Lohengrin came out of his
trance and started off, but Peaches
forgot her instructions and spoke
above q whisper and he stopped
again.
Then l took the reins, cracked the
whip. shouted a few paragraphs OF
the language General Villa uses in
Mexico when he captures a Federal
soldier. and away we rushed like the
wind-when it wasn't blowing hard.
The hours few by and we must have
gone st least half a mile, when an
ether Kerosene Wagon came bouncing
toward US from the opposite direction
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

In it was happy party of ladies and
gentlemen, who we're laughing and
chatting about some people they had
just run over.
Lohengrin saw them coming and
stopped still in the middle of the road.
Then he hung his head as low as he
could, and l believe If that horse had
been supplied with hands he would
have put them over his ears.
The people in the Bubble began to
shout at us, and / began to shout at
the horse, and friend wife began to
shout at me, while Lohengrin stood
there and scratched his left ankle with
his right heel.
Then the machine made sudden
lump to the right and hiked by us at
the rate of about a $500. fine. while
the lady passengers in the cabin de
luxe stood up and began to hand out
medals to each other because they
didn't run us down.
Ten minutes later Lohengrin came
to and looked over his shoulder at US
with a smile as serene as the morning
and once more resumed his mad ca
reer onward, ever onward.
We we're now about two miles from
home, and suddenly we came across a
big red touring car which stood In
front of a roadhouse, sneezing inward
ly and sobbing with all its corrugated
heart.
Lohengrin saw the machine before
we did.
He knew there must be an automo-
bile somewhere near, because he
stopped still and quietly passed away.
jumped out and tried to lead him
by the Coroner's Delight, but he plant
ed his four feet in the middle of the
road and refused to be coaxed.
took the horse by the ear and
whispered therein just what l thought
about him. but he wouldn't talk back.
l told him my wife's honor was at
stake, but he looked my wife over and
his lips curled with an expression
which seemed to say. Impossible"
1t was all of with US.
Lohengrin simply wouldn't move un-
til that sobbing Choo Choo Wagon had
left the neighborhood. so l went In
side the roadhouse to find the owner.
found him. He consisted of Ger
man chauffeur and eight bottles OF
beer.
When / explained the pitiful situa.
ton to him the chauffeur swallowed
two bottles of beer and began to cry.
Then he told the waiter to call him
at 1880. and he put his head down on
the table and went to sleep with his
face in cute little nest of hard boiled
cigarettes.
l rushed to the telephone and called
up the liveryman, but before l could
think of a word strong enough to fit
the occasion he whispered over the
wire: Il know your voice, Mr.. Henry
suppose Lohengrin is waiting fol
you outside"
Forthwith I tried to tell that livery.
man just what thought about him
and Lohengrin, but the telephone girl
short-circuited my remarks and they
came back and set fire to the wood.
work.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

my, my!" l could hear the livery
man saying. "Lohengrin's hesitation
must be the result of the epidemic of
automobiles which is now raging over
our country roads. The automobile
has a strange effect on Lohengrin. 1t
seems to cover him with a pause and
gives him Inflammation Of the speed"
thought of poor Peaches shivering
out there in that comedy sleigh staring
at a dreaming horse, while in front of
her a Red Devil Wagon complained In.
ternally and shook its tonneau at her,
and once more jolted that liveryman
with a few verbal twisters.
Don't get excited" he whispered
back over the phone. "Lohengrin is a
new idea in horses. Whenever he
meets an automobile he goes to sleep
and tries to forget 1t. Isn't that better
than running away and dragging you
to a hospital? There must be some
thing about an automobile that affects
Lohengrin's heart / think 1t is the
gasoline. The odor from the gasoline
seems to penetrate his mind to the re-
gion of his memory and he forgets to
move. Lohengrin is a fine horse. with
a most lovable disposition, but when
the air becomes charged with gasoline
he forgets his duty and falls asleep at
the switch"
went out and explained to my wife
that Lohengrin was a victim of the
gasoline habit, and that he would
never leave that spot until the Bubble
went away, and that the Bubble
couldn't go away until the chauffeur
woke up, and that the chauffeur
couldn't wake up until his mind had
digested a lot of wood alcohol, 80 she
jumped out of the trick sleigh for the
purpose of telling Lohengrin just what
she thought about him.
At that moment somebody opened
the folding doors in the barn Just
ahead Of us. and Lohengrin, with 4
whitening glance at friend wife and 9
shrug Of his shoulders in my direction
| tippy-toed to cover and left US fat
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
The Gargoyle Gazed at Mel

your limitations of Rip Van Wrinkle.
Come on now, git!"
When we finally reached home Aunt
Martha asked US how we enjoyed the
sleighride.
1.-The scenery was perfectly lovely
it was SO stationary" Peaches an
swered, with chattering teeth.
"One Of the best walks l ever had"
said as l put both feet in the FIRE
place to warm up.
Lohengrin. Ell? To make him go Mr..
Wagner would have to set him to rag.
time.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
South American OIL,

According to a recent government
report the production Of petroleum at
COMMODORE Rivadavia, Argentina, in
1914 averaged more than 5000 tons
per month. the total output during that
year amounting to 10000 tons. 1t is
estimated that in 1915 the production
of these oil fields will exceed 10000
tons. The petroleum deposits of
Bahia Blanca and Rio Negro also give
promise of increased production dur
ing the present year. The Argentine
government is taking active steps in
developing these deposits on a larger
scale than heretofore.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

- N certain of the islands lying
off the coast of Maine are some
of the peculiar, hermitlike and
" sometimes degenerate charac-
tiers such as are found in the
remote regions, the back towns and
the hill towns of every New England
state. But these islanders, more COM
pletely separated from their fellow
men than the recluses of the inland
states or even the inland portions Of
Maine, are distinct type and per-
haps the most striking representa-
tives Of a certain class that shuns
civilization and lives and rears its
young in the manner Of past GEN.
turtles.
Back in the hill country of the
South are descendants of some of the
best blood of early colonial days.
stranded on the mountain tops like
the ark on Mount Ararat, of the pur-
est Saxon blood and the best ances-
try the country affords, fallen into
ignorance and sloth yet retaining a
sense Of family import stnce and per-
sonal dignity. poor anN proud as an
ancient Scottish gentleman, resisting
the advances of civilization weile
eager for its advantages.
Dislike Civilized Life.
Not like these are the jewellers OF
the islands of the Maine coast. They
boast no pride of ancestry. though
theirs may be as good as that of any
of their more respectable contem
poraries. They live apart from civil
zation because they have no love fcl
1t. They have no sense of forced iso
lation, the result Of generations OF
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06


explorations
found box Of bags filed
struggled the street into the
picnickers gathered
assistance
somebody In q laugh
threw
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

Ostler Joe. the charge d'affaires Of
the barn, tried to stop Lohengrin and
ask for his credentials. but the equine
onion brushed right by and planted
himself and the droshky in the middle
of the barn floor. where he promptly
went to sleep again.
Just as we hurried away to flag an
approaching trolley car l heard Ostler
Joe say to the slumbering Lohengrin:
Wake up. you doggone OIL rabbit,
wake up and git out'n our barn. know
you. dag gone you. even If you be dis
guised by hidin' behind that thar four.
poster bed on runners. Wake up, you
OIL hit! You be Henlopen Laffenwell's
accomplice in crime. been't We? WAL.
you git right out'n our barn an do
your sleepin' where you belong. Dag
gone If you kin use our barn to give
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

unitarian
1000 hills would total $500
stalk producing 900 gallons of alcohol leaving Is
determined"
sunnower a prolific will
considerable
utilized
1t
growing unfowers them
ordin on
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

ular Robinson Crusoe. There he has
remained ever since. His cat fam
lily has increased to fifty or more IN
spite of frequent drownings. When
he goes fishing some of the feline
family accompany him in the boat
and the others perch on rocks about
the shore to await his return with the
fish that constitute their principal
food.
Have No Use for visitors.
Only occasionally does visitor get
q glimpse at the interior Of one Of
their habitations. The women ana
children are as carefully guarded
from casual visitors a. the inmates
Of a Turkish harem, but where .
man lives alone, "baches IT," - they
say, the well-intentioned visitor may
receive an invitation to enter. e.
pecially II he has been liberal In tho
matter Of -four or tobacco, or "likker."
which is forbidden by the Maine law
and therefore in greater demand than
1t would be among ordinary fisher
folk.
They are a queer people, these H.
land squatters. They are apart from
the world in which they live and nave
no desire to mingle with any but their
own folk. They are uncouth, UNI
kempt. illiterate. but not decadent
or degenerate. They are fair repre-
sentatives of the peasant class Of two
centuries ago. No one knows their
ancestry. The history Of their mar
riages is obscure. They live outside.
the law and have no occasion to In
woke It in their affairs; neither do
they desire Shat It shall be invoked
to control their activities. They are
an Arcadian group, representatives
of the real philosophical anarchists.
those who feel themselves able to hive
outside the law. without the restraint
or control Of government. and who
recognize no authority beyond their
own desires and needs. They have
achieved the care free life which
many philosophers have sought and
perhaps those who aspire to the
ideals OF philosophic anarchy may
find some guidance in the record Of
the lives Of these people who are. to
all appearances. outlaws.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
co,ds AIwsys infectious.

Colds are catching; every now and
then the papers tell Of epidemics OF
colds. Then look out for the man
who talks thick. and who Is constantly
sneezing, blowing his nose and max
ing general nuisance Of himself. Sore
threats should be treated until they
are cured. Adenoids and infiamed ton
sils are q fruitful soil for the catarrh
germs; in children especially they
ought to be removed.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Idle Metaphors.

Idle Metaphors.
What is the title of that book you
are reading?"
1.-The Sea of Matrimony.'"
Hum! Any submarines about!"
"Oh, yes. but the particular ship
whose fortunes l am following is in
no danger. 1t Is conveyed by q dread
naught."
"Meaning?"
THE brides mother"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
First Head Of PolIcewomen.

Mrs. Alice Stebbins Wells. the po-
licewoman of Los Angeles, was elected
president of the National Congress Of
Policewomen at their recent meeting
in Baltimore during the National Con-
ference of Charities and Correction.
In forming the new organization Of
policewomen Mrs. Wells outlined q
new system of police work. She urged
that policewomen be mutually ex-
changed between cities SO that going
about incognito they might be better
able to discover in strange cities con-
ditions hitherto unexpected.
The other officers elected were Miss
Mary Steele Harvey. policewoman Of
Baltimore, vice-president; Mrs. Geor-
giana Sherrot. policewoman at Mime
apolis. secretary. and Miss Anna Nc
Gully, the policewoman at Dayton.
O., as treasurer.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
But He Understood.

The artist was painting-sunset, red,
with blue streaks and green dots.
The old rustic. at q respectful dis
lance, was watching.
"Ah," said the artist. looking up
suddenly. perhaps to you. too. nature
has opened her sky-pictures page by
page? Have you seen the lambert
flame Of dawn leaping across the livid
east; the red-stained. sulphurous islets
floating in the lake Of fire in the west |:
the ragged clouds at midnight, black
as q ravens wing. plotting out the
shuddering moon?"
mo-" replied the rustic, shortly;
mot since / signed the pledge."-Tit.
Bits.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Or Why Not pramatIze the Name9 I

Or, Why Not DRAMATIC the Namsf
I'D like" a trifle mordaciously said
Grout p. Smith, ito see the name Of
Imri .umwalt, the able Bonner
Springs editor, set to music. It would
be Immediately snapped up by all the
cheap dramatic aggregations in the
country, for use in nlaying the villain
of the piece across the stage. Just d.
vide 1t up into four syllables and re-
peat It slowly. and note the appropri-
ateness."-Kansas City Star.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

tern, q beautiful piece of goods. all
hand embroidered and handsomely
decorated. With the pattern was
design for the dress. showing exactly
how 1t would look when completed
and how 1t should be put together.
1t certainly was beautiful. 1t was
exclusive and such a bargain! The
young woman promised not to sell
another to any woman in the city.
Could any woman resist a combina-
ton like that? Can a duck stay away
from the water? But why ask foolish
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

There are no trades or guilds In
Iceland, every man being compelled
to depend upon his own skill for his
supplies. The natives make their own
shoes, shoe their own horses and man.
ufacture their saddles. A few ar
tisans are found in the capital-for ex.
ample. a bookbinder, . jeweler and
others.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Origin Of the Bicycle.

The modern bicycle seems to have
had its origin in 1854. p. H. Fischer,
a mechanic of Schweinfurt. Germany.
added pedal cranks to the velocipede.
Quite independently Ernest Michaux
hit upon the same idea in 1855. Rub
Der tires seem to have been first
used in 1865 by NJ. Thevanon Of Lyons.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

Will insure nearing
the capitalist seeking to interest
occupaona diseases
efficiency
members
state museums have oen
Museum OF ihese
are the in Boston and Francisco
Safety is not coercive
machines must
place view
words the becomes
ndustaist the country
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

you dreary. depend upon It they are
wrong. do not say give them up"
for they may be all you have; but con-
ceal them. like a vice. lest they should
spoil the lives Of better men.-Robert
Louis Stevenson.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

number OF seeds one sunhOwer pre-
duced, and 1t started him thinking.
He discovered that sunfiower seeds
were valuable, and he offered to fur
nish seed. as long as the supply
lasted. to whoever wanted to plant
them. He has received so letters in
curing about the raising of sunflow-
ers, ranging from Malone on the north
to Jacksonville. Fla, on the south.
east to the Hudson river and west to
Montana
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
His Views.

why 90 they call 'em fountain
pens? l should say reservoir pen
would be the better name. A reser.
voir contains liquids; a fountain
throws EN- around"
Il think fountain pen is the proper
name." said the party Of the second
part
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Cause and Effect.

Cause and Effect.
Stage Manager-What's the cause
Of the commotion?
Serio Comic-You know that Jug
glor who catches things on Q fork in
his mouth?
Certainly"
We'll. someone Just threw him an
egg."-Youngstown Telegram.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Syracuse Man Finds Sunaowers a Paying Crop

YRACUsE N Y-E
originator
raised sunnowes and
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

America to be installed. but the t"eh'
ty-third in the world, has recently &C.
cupied its new and commodious quar-
tiers.
The laboratory is intended, pri-
marily, for the evolution of safety de-
vices, but it is understood that the
work of the inventors will not be re-
stricted. They will have the free use
of the rooms and equipment, but must
furnish their own material. 1t is ex-
pected the fact an inventor has had
the use of the laboratory will be
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
CheerfuIness.

Gentleness and cheerfulness, these
come before all morality-they are the
perfect duties. II your morals make
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Topeka Society Women Got Exclusive" Dresses

woman came to town and
called
Japanese silk
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
ceoroe Washington outdone.

OeoT0e WdSHtn0tou Outoone.
Pop" said little Rollo. why are
parlor ornaments called ornamental"
my son." replied Rollo. ST.. Il can
not lie: don't know."-Philadelphia
Ledger
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

soon lost in day dreams Of his native
village on the Aegean sea.
Across the street in Jackson park
were three hungry squirrels. They
evinced much interest in the peanuts
owned by Sperekas.
When they saw the proprietor
droop his head and heard strange
noises issue from his nose. they were
convinced that an excellent Sunday
dinner awaited them.
One. more daring than his CON-
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
CHICAGO Park Squirrels "Pinch" Greeks Peanuts

a
his He bnked
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06

Prudence IL common sense web
trained.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-08-06
Laboratory for Free Use of Men With Ideas


Ameic to be the TWEEN
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-10-20
THE EARTH AND MA

IIlG EFNN n HlNG UTNNs--1 uO
earth was made for man and labor is
the key of his existence. Take from
him the key of life and he shall per-
.ish. At the dawn of civilization a
forked stick was the tool with which
the ancient man used to scratch the
earth to till the soil. 1t was of his
own making. He used it in conjunc-
ton with the other tool, the land, and
the result was wealth. AS time passed
on mans desire to lessen his labor
from grinding toll developed the
cruder tools of the past into the great
complex machines of production of
today. In doing so he has separated
himself from his key to life. He has
changed the system of production
from the individual order to the So
cial one, but has not changed the
ownership. And the result is star
walton, poverty and want in the midst
of plenty-a crime against God and
man.
No one man could make steel rail,
locomotive or car. Neither could he
operate them, but hundreds and thou
sands of men can, and the result of
their labor is not individualistic but