Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1915-02-17
"COUSIN BILLY" ON GNATs,
No Harm to Come from Gnats on the
HeeI-The Movies.
Walhalla, Feb. Is, 1918

Is certainly dark, rainy morning in
Walhalla and from general appear
ance it is well-nigh dark and rainy
everywhere. Cousin, dear, you know
l never did like to write much, but
since we are having such a nice cor
respondence lake a shade of pleas
ure in writing to you.
Say, why didn't you tell those
"gnat-heel school teachers" of Ebe-
nezer's that if they would get col
lar and p" It around his neck, and
hook little chain to it and lead him
around with them, the gnats would
all leave their heels and swarm af-
ter him. Why, yes, some people
even keep poodles and pugs around
for the purpose Of keeping the gnats
away. You tell the "gnat-heel
school teachers" that gnat on the
heel won't hurt them, but, in case
like EDenezer's, where the gnats have
gathered in the eyes, it is a hopeless
case.
Why, dear cousin, | have just
laughed my sides sore at Ebenezer
He has thought all these years past
and gone that he was fighting and
swapping at compulsory education
when it was gnats that have been
bothering him--and he never will
find it out, or won't own it if he does
Say, "Coz,' don't you tell our old
friend Eb. what | say to you, or show
this letter to any one. He (Eb.D
says he don't favor any law that will
give man or set of men the power
to go and tell you to-and even make
you-send your child to school, Eb
says, "Think a minute" | say so.
too. say for him to think; every
body but him has thought. Here is
what he ought to know-that We
have law that gives the road over
seer the authority to go to his homo
and tell his boy that on a certain day
he must be present with a shovel ho,,
or pick to work the road or pay %
certain road tax; he ought to know
that we have law that gives thu
proper authorities the power to como
to his home and arrest his child fo
some misdemeanor, try the child /
the courts, convict and sentence it t.
a term in the house of correction.
Eb, should know that we ha,c
many different laws that will punis1
men and women for wrong-doiny
N%r" ~. Adam and Eve driven Our
al Htcn .or not oboyln their Mas
fer'S law DoDT that show fhat I'm
'hc very h"~jr0ng tuoro was runish-
mcnt for nose who disoDcycu.
Didn't Ebenezer vote for a bill die
tating to his neighbor how much cot
ton he should plant? Didn't this
same EbeneZer introduce a bill fore.
ing all public schools to have moving
pictures? Yea, we have laws, and
sundry laws.
Say, Counsin Legislature, let's yoI
and me slip over to the door of the
Senate Chamber and peep through
the keyhole at Eb. Be easy now and
let's tip-toe so he won't hear us
(Dont be snickering or they viii
hear u.s.. What? Don't YOU Sc
MIN at his desk? rou get away and
let me peep, maybe you don't know
hlm Yes, cousin, you are right. He
here, cousin, and I'll go in there am
ask the boss man where he is. Jus
as l expected! The boss said hr
guessed we would find him (Eb.) at
some one Of the moving picture
shows. Shall we go hunt him? Yes.
I'll go if you will. I know his ways
Of doing better than you do, cousin
He's so anxious to see one of thesa
shows that he more than likely dron.
ped into the very first one he came
TO. III buy the first ticket, and yon
the next, until we find Eb.
NOW, cousin, don't he laughins
though it's just like you to laugh.
jolly old maid that you are. I hay.
OFTEN wondered why you have never
married, Cousin Legislature. Be easy
now; | see him, cousin, see him
Don't you see that man sitting away
up towards the front with than
swarm Of gnats over his head.
knew | could show him to yor.
Don't he look natural No, I'm u0r
going to call him don't want thcse
people in here to think that we know
MIN. If he don't close his mouth.
though, the gnats will choke him 10
death. Now don't you tell him ahnu.