Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-11-23
She Knew Baseball !:

Since / have become a baseball
fan" said the girl who likes to talk, Il
know what 1t means truly to live.
81 can't help it if / am old-fasliion-
ed she went on. OF always romp ir
On style several years after it is
an accomplished fact. Years ago,
when it was the style to be crazy
about baseball, had to retire to the
background and pretend baseball was
beneath me. Secretly I read every
thing about baseball that / could get
hold of, and asked every man ! knew
to explain the game to me. but some.
how couldn't comprehend it. !
could make an interesting book out OF
the baseball explanations got, rang
ing from that Of my small cousin Jim.
my to that OF a bank president.
a.As / remember it. Jimmy's remarks
we're so tinctured with disgust at the
idea that human being could exist
who was not saturated with the fine
points Of the game that the explana-
tory part was pale in comparisons.
"Gee!" said Jimmy. "Don'tchu
know baseball? Gee, but you're slow!
why, the fellows on bases are always
trying to skin the pitcher alive, an
the pitcher he's trying to fool the
batter, an the batter he gen'ruliy
bunts the ball when they're looking
for scorcher-don't you know what
a bunt is? Gee, you're slow!'N
."There was a college professor who
did his best, but couldn't tell whetli.
er he was explaining baseball game
to me or demonstrating problem IN
Euclid. He enjoyed himself very
much, however, and told me that 1t
was a pleasure to explain anything to
a girl who had such wonderful corf-
prehension- so really couldn't count
that episode wasted.
'"The bank president complicated
things. MY dear young woman" he
said fervently. stroking his NOUS
tache, why burden your head with
coarse, masculine affairs? You'd look
SO much nicer pouring tea or-er--
sewing something, you know, or play
ing the piano! Why do you insist on
spelling 1t alp
ut took me several years to decide
that the bank president himself didn't
understand the game, and he was be-
ing diplomatic instead Of compliment
tary!
"sttll struggled on. I always said.
oh, yes! / dote on baseball If was
asked to go to a game. And l had
horrible escapes. There was the aw-
fully nice man visiting here from
New York. He was the man almost
lost by asking why the ball player
Quit playing after he had run Of!
around the field and kicked the thing
they called the home plate. said !
supposed he was mad or something.
because they yelled at him SO. And
l was temporarily estranged from the
best daacsr in our set because SAID
/ should think the man with the hat
would hit the ball instead Of whirling
around in that silly way. and It was
lust as we'll that the leader evidently
called him back to the bench.
II do think it's true about virtue be-
ing rewarded, because sometime ago
all the mixed up Kaleidoscope base
ball bits in my brain suddenly and
without warning fell into a clear and
beautiful pattern, and to my hysteri'
car delight realized that at last !
knew what the men out on the Ola
n1ond were trying to do.
"The man who at present insists on
hanging around where I am scoffed
and jeered when I confded to hin,
my achievement. He said might
be an excellent buffer, but never,
never, did really know what 1t was
all about! Hadn't he sat and writhec
at games while disgraced him before
all those surrounding us by my i'm
beetle questions? Didn't he know?
However. II he could get of the next
afternoon he'd take me to the game.
swell. passed the whole morning
downtown hunting particular para
sol that I'd had in mind for weeks"
continued the girl who likes to tall,
"and walked sixteen miles and final
ly+ound one, and / carried it delight
fully to the game as a cherished pos
session. In the eighth inning the field
ers mufYed the ball and fell all over
themselves, and the three men on
bases raced home in bunch during
the excitement when nobody was no.
ticing.
"When I came to I was on my feet
pounding on the floor with my new
parasol and yelling like an Indian. l
had smashed the handle of the para
sol! I did not realize what I was do
ing till my escort dragged me down
into my seat and applied soothing
words and showed me the wreck in
my hand.
"Yes,' he admitted, as he regard
cd the smashed parasol, I think you
qualify! But who would ever have
thought it"
II think, concluded the girl who
likes to talk, that It's worth the price
Of parasol to be able to realize that
one understands baseball. I'm 50
proud over my knowledge of the game
nc would be il I'd been left $1,000