The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1915-08-20
Colonel Bunker
BY M. QUAD
Copyright, 1915. by tho Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.


gest duel ever fought. or the fifteel
! or twenty think that two might com
, under the head of strange.
"Majah Blazer and / were friend
and neighbors and had been for years
Not word Of discord had ever passet
between us. He had cat and had
dog, ana they were also friends
zone morning the majah came init
my office and called out:
"'Colonel, tell your dawg that If HI
will come over he may have look al
them
"'What.is 1t, majahT
"Our old cat has kittens
"'Yon don't say! How many OF
themy
Just twenty-one, subj
"'You counted them yourself, did
your
"'Colonel, do you question my state
mentT
".Not at all, major; but twenty-one
kittens In litter is certainly won
derful thing
1T may be, sub, and--good morning,
| suhr
"And, sub, it wasn't an hour before
he sent a friend to me to arrange a
duel I had seemed to doubt his verac-
ity, and he must clear his honah.
agree with you that it was silly, but
men We're mighty peppery In those
days. The majah's wife came and
begged that I refuse the challenge, but
at the same time she couldn't show
me bow / could do 1t and maintain my
honah. I asked her the number OF kit
tens and was not at all surprised to
learn that the number was only four.
1.-THE explanation was that the ma
jah's wife had been canning strawber-
ries, and In speaking of it to him she
gave the number of the cans as twenty
one.
WELL sub, the choice of weapons
lay with me, and l chose swords. A
week before that while out for walk
! crossed the dueling ground, and OBJ
served that close by In fence corner
was a bumblebees' nest. We were to
meet at sunrise, which is very I'M
comfortable hour, by the bye. and the
night before / had a confidential talk
with colored brother.
1.-THE night passed, and the morning
came. ! was first on the ground, and |
had time to see that the colored BROTH |
er was up In the part he was to play. On |
my word, the majah knew no mo- about |
sword play than Iaplander. ! could
have had him out In one minute, but / |
did not want that / gave the colored |
brother the nod, and he stirred up the
bees through the fence with a pole.
They came out of the grass by the hun
dred, and i alone saw them In time to !
get away.
But the bees, subtitle bees! Those
men left behind were sight to see
when the insects got through with
them. All Of them had to be led home,
and not one OF them got out Of the
house for a fortnight. AS for the ma
jah, when be could get out he came to
the Office TO say:
Colonel. have bad news for your
iawg.'
what is itY
Every kitten Is dead
"'Shol That's too bad
"'And the shelf fell down and broke ,
Ill the fruit jars
TOO bad. too bad
"'And you take notice. sub. we didn't {
ret the kittens and the Jars mixed =
Ip'" a
At this juncture Colonel Bunker re- I
marked that he would tell the story of {
mother duel. i
Captain Seaton was my good friend I
nd had been for years. One evening
s we sat on the veranda Of his house,
moking our pipes and saying little. he
arelessly observed:
"lt's a wonder those grasshoppers
an keep that noise up the way they 1
o. q
lyon mean criekets. captain cor a
ected. K
~ mean what i mean" he snapped. u
well. there we were" said the colo
el-'there we were. II made no DIFF -
arence whatever to either one OF US N
neither II was a cricket. a grssshopper ~
: an owl singing. but there are times q
hen the best Of men are attacked by :.
hat may be cfsled a fool perversity. :,
re sulked for five minutes, and then :,
ia: !.
{" Captain. the songs Of those crickets !.
e not 30 unpleasant after all a,
Z" You mean the songs Of those grass &C
lppers. subj be replied b
{" 'Cricketsr hs
" 'Grasshoppersr n
. Colonel Bunker. my friend win wait be
! you and arrangeF "
= The sooner the better, subj n
~And within an hour his friend cana -
"a = duel was arranged for sunrise. ca
You may say we were a couple II =. -
lots. sub. bot IN those DAYS a mans ~
nah was held 20 he a sacred thing. IL -
wss cot walking with n gentleman n
a remarked that there was a ring :,
1und the moon and be retAed that he ~
uldnt see g. honsh required that -
I'd him a challenge WI
And. sub. perhaps there was neither VI
on Nor ring showing, ne
We were On the feld and the dis
lce vas being r'sced On when bull z
2 st sffer q drove n mules out ~ ~
sfurs. and the rnuies got after "a An
nds wers driven NJ trees. and IS vs
mted fffean feet tirh ons - fhe 80. -
A. called cut
'gentieDsn. I dont fhlrk n vss -.