The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1915-11-04
The Newspaper

~ on. PRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. BY Frank Crane)

What creation il newspaper Az
marvellous a civilization, as complex -
humanity, a deep a. science, as shall
low % society, "a sordid a. business, "a
base a. crime, as pure as piety; great,
teeming ant-hill Of myriad activities, .
dusty arena Of confused wrestlings,
writings, squirmings, twistings, crawl
ings, crowdings, springings, In the great
gladiatorial struggle Of man against man,
class against class, idea against idea. be-
lief against belief.
testers hee-haw and cackle, lovers groan,
ude platitudes, the fat-paunched smile,
the drugged screech and gibber; it's .
huge boiling-pot from whence arise the
stinks Of police courts, slums, murders,
incests, arsons, mayhems, thefts. rob
adulteries, all manner of unnatural vices,
Of beast-men, brute-women all classified,
artistically arranged, dressed in rags Of
breakfast table.
Here are wars, wholesale slaughterings
by men with flags, butchery by shrapnel,
ted in trenches like crowded pigs IN
shambles, men spitted by spikes, blinded
by Are, blown to atoms by powder; al
over nothing at all, over mystical ma
tional issues none of them understood, all
to keep up the twice damned and thrice
accursed military caste; read Of 1t /; here,
every day anew, souls seen marching to
death by battalions; Mars and Moloch
dancing in glee over the dehuman wave
of red insanity overwhelming Europe.
Read, read, Of weather, probable rain,
of crops, wheat corn prospects, specula-
ton as to cotton, of county-seat fights,
of clever swindlers of sick juror, OF
gem robbers, of prohibition laws violat-
ed, of a newspaper sold out, of q cam
paign to recruit soldiers of suffragettes
and their strivings, of one brother slay-
ing another with brass cuspidor, OF
Mexican bandits breaking into Texas, OF
some pastor breaking into print, OF am
bassadors' doings, of the embroglios OF
cabinet officers, of the President OF the
United States taking a walk, OF what ne
might have said. or could, would, ought,
or should have said of British cabinet
crises, prime ministers pronunciamentoss
generals sententious hints, emperors'
and kings ponderous bromides; OF what
this famous actress thinks and OF what
that millionaire says about things they
know not the slightest thing about.
Here you find news Of baseball, and
read Of amazing two-baggers, horrific
errors and lurid runs. and OF fans re-
ceiving the information with red faces,
fifty thousand people yelling themselves
hoarse over ball. and of golf. with
strange iargon, of stars and champions;
of tennis, football, horse-racing; OF auto
mobiles and accidents.
Of churches, synods, conferences. re-
vivals; of the movies, of new players,
new film-trusts, new houses; OF theatres,
gossip of actors, hints, predictions, criti-
cism, sly advertising; Of music, art,
cooking, beauty secrets, health notes,
fancy work. styles, corsets; OF deaths,
births marriages; Of high society ana
its movements: of politics and its prog
nostications, rumors, fights and pacts;
of grand opera, concerts, symphonies,
recitals.
OF shipping, of real estate. OF finance.
stocks and bonds. of all sorts of imam
|cjers. from the solid Morgan to the gray
wolf type of all conceivable swindlings,
little and big.
And all about and through and be-
tween, the advertiser, the man that sup
ports all this world Of publicity upon his
Atlantean shoulders. catching your eye,
II by any chance he may with heavy
type and pictures and antics and pos
lures lure you ~ his shop, to buy shoes,
hats. rugs. carpets, furniture, diamonds,
glass. clothing patent medicines dry
goods, food, drink, tobacco, whisky
chewing gum, hair dye. tooth PASTE
plasters. corn-cures, race powders.
And the want-ad pages, that vast sea
of trading. seeking, hiring, renting, sell
inc. bargaining humanity, thicker than
at market fair.
This is mankind's mirror. You are
part of this. You never realize how
amazing is man until you read the news
After all. there are Just four things
IN the newspaper: Crime, Sport, Money