Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1915-07-31


TO take flowers to tho leading LADY.
we now have 10 characters In the cast
Sweeney. sangulnettl, Schultz, the little
lady in the box, the press agent ana the
eight baboons Destiny sent the Ftn
actor in the drama lurchlng through the
doors shortly after the opening OF tho
second act The 1ith actor was fat req
in the face and of htful, troubled Ideas
His name makes no difference at ALL
though he told the police afterward that
II was John Smith.
An usher looked at John Smith doubt
fully as he seated him In the ver1 last
row upon an aisle.
keep your eyes on that souse," he
warned his companion.
John Smith oozed into his seat. He
found the music soothing, and, with
series of nervous Jerks and quiVers, iell
asleep and dreamed of strange animals
In the upper stage box Sanguinetti ana
Sweeney leaned out over the rail trying
to frt with the third one from the END.
Schultz slumbered fitfully, for he was
tired, having played pinochle on the tram
the night before. The scornful little lady
counted the house and sniffed.
Out in the lobby Mr.. Walker and the
trainer marshaled the eight fower-oearing
balloons.
''The house is dark for the next song"
said tho press agent. "and that's the time
we'd better herd the monks into their
positions. She lights UP right after the
moon song for the finale Of the act. NOW
let's see-four monks to one aisle ana
four to the other, and you're to send EN-
down with the flowers after the third cur
tain call. The newspaper men are all III
front"
'Did YOU give 'em my picture?" asked
the trainer anxiously.
"Surest thing you knowl' lied Harley
O. glibly. They'll probably want to In
terview you afterward" They did too.
"All right" said the trainer. "All set?
Hup. You Battling Nelson! Quit that"
Battling Nelson, a blond baboon with
blue face and pink whiskers, showed his
teeth in doprecatory smile, and the pro-
cession began to move.
The lights were low when the flower
bearers entered the auditorium. The stage
was deserted. save for very big woman
with a very little voice, who was singing
a song to a greenish property moon. The
Iouso was absolutely quiet, save for the
vocal struggles of the large lady upon the
stage.
At that very moment John Smith,
dreaming of pink lizards and purple mice,
awoke with a snort and gurgle. He
jerked his head about to make sure of
his surroundings, and, in the shadowy
gloom of the place, his astounded eyes
rested upon solemn procession Of dog
faced apes with bouquets in their hands.
The balloons were passing along the rum
way behind the last row of seats, and
they were so close that John Smith might
have touched them.
Now, every one knows that when a
man is accustomed to pink lizards and
purple mice, baboons with roses in their
hands are a terrible shock to his nervous
system.
John Smith leaped to his feet with
hoarse howl of terror. and even as he
yelled he launched tremendous kick at
the baboon nearest to him.
Then everything happened at once.
You can kick baboon IL you see him
first, but you cannot make him like It,
A baboon is sensitive. He doesn't look
It. but you never can tell from the color
of baboon's face what his disposition
may be,
Two baboons and three ushers hurled
themselves upon John Smith. who began
to fight like a maniac, screaming at the
top of his voice. Those In the back of
the house had jumped to their feet with
the first yell now Smiths cries were
mixed with the chattering and barking OF
the eight baboons.
Down in front a woman began to scream
Historically 1t was her voice which
stampeded the six balloons who had, up
to that point, taken no part In the battle
One of the brutes sprang upon the rail-
ing and started for the footlights over
the heads of the people, and, as he went,
he used his sheaf of American Beauties
as club.
The other balloons followed him, Shrek
ing and chattering like crazy things. One
haNF ka, aNrrI.
a disturbances eight of them complicated
the situation somewhat.
A panic resulted. Men and women were
swept out of their seats, and carried in
wave toward the front OF the house. The
aisles were full of struggling scream
ing human beings and behind them came
the balloons, like hairy furies.
From their seats In the upper box, San
guinetti and Sweeney could not see what
was causing the excitement. They saw
only the panic swlrling down the aisles
toward the orchestra pit.
"Hell's loose I'm the back OF the housel"
shouted Sweeney above the clamor.
Lets jump down on the stage and beat
It out of the back doorl''
you said 1t for mel" yelled sanguinetti
excltedly.
lust then the seornful little lady called
attention to her presence with success
sion Of piercing screams.
Adililhi MdiuInh4 Sue walled.
I'VE can't leave this poor kid here"
said Sweeney. Got to take her along
somehow"
He picked the child up In his arms and
she clung to him, still screaming with
fright.
''Its all right now" said Sweeney ITS
all right. Cheese on the noise, little one
Wen get you to your mamma. Hermann
''Vot iss?" demanded the big German
Herman. you jump down on the stage.
Sanguinetti you drop into the box below
here. Ill pass the kid along TO you. ana
you toss her TO Schultz I'll follow. Quick
now"
1t was the commanding officer speaking.
and. like trained soldiers, Schultz and
sangumetti obeyed BY this time the up-
roar In the back Of the house had begun
to subside. but the sight OF two men
leaplng from an upper stage box did not
tend 10 restore public confidence. one 81
the men jumped on the stage third
man appeared Ia an upper box with 4
child IN his arms.
Now thenl" he yelled. Sweeney to
sanguinetu 10 schultzl All setF'
4 wrrn rsavrHrrts-g~