The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-08-27

noises again give me another call"
Mrs. Bowser was out Of bed in thirty
seconds and feeling for the automatic
under his pillow.
Here! What are you going to dor
he asked
Il am going down and shoot tha,
burglar, If there is one," replied Mrs
Bowser.
lie swung his legs Off the bed. took
the pistol from her hand, and as she
turned up the light he started for the
door. He paused three times In going
ten feet. and as he laid his hand on
the doorknob he asked
suppose there is more than one of
them?"
III there are dozen shoot them allr
MIS-. Bowser followed him to the
head OF the stairs, and he did not OBJ.
1ect In the least All was silent and
darkness below, and the bravest gen
eral IN the European armies might have
hesltated over the situation The
plunge, however, must be taken, and
MI. Bowser took it, fully expecting
that he was going to his doom. Mrs.
bowser encouraged him with whisper
eu words, and at length he reached the
loot OF the stairs. There he turned to
enter the sitting room, and Just as he
reached 1T there was bump, bump.
Dump-a shout--a scream and then the
| noise of skirmish line.
Mr. Bowser had turned loose his NIL
tomato. Mrs. Bowser had screamed
| ana the burglar was trying to get out
OF the window he had entered. In the
| darkness he could not be seen. but Mr.
bowser was taking no chances of let
ting him escape. He had the pistol
pointed all over the room as it belched
forth its bullets.
Have you killed him?" the voice of
Mrs. Bowser asked as the pistol ceased
to bang.
len times over" was the reply
Can you light the gasY'
A gas Jet was lighted and at that
moment a big black tomcat who had
somehow got into the house and want
ed to get out again and had been
pumping his head against the glass ut
tered frightful y-e-o-w-l and streaked
lt Tor the basement stairs and disap-
peared.
M. Bowser looked at Mrs. Bowser.
Mrs. Bowser looked at Mr.. Bowser.
Ihen he exclaimed, 'By goshT'
Ihen she sat right down on the door
and chuckled, and Uttered and gipgled
and laughed as she had not done since
she was girl Of twelve.
What in the thunder ails YOUR,
growled the burglar killer.
oh, It's SO -Lnny?" gasped Mrs.
Bowser. 1T was nothing but the old
cat after ALL"
"Durn her hide, but how did she get
in here?'
1.-The cook may have left the kitchen
door OPEN"
Ihen you discharge her in the morn
Ing, and If there is any wages COM
inE q her don't Day them. I saw thea
here, bat stiHP fHPffa I am F. tSntsR1a.daD oeiteveI
that there really was a burglar in the
house."
Mrs. Bowser stifled her laughs and
lighted more gas jets and went to in
specting the room to find where the
barrel of bullets which had missed the
burglar had found lodgment. The fol-
lowing Is a true record:
One bullet through the mantel mir.
ror.
One bullet through the eight day
clock, making it no day clock.
One bullet through a landscape on
the wall. 1t improved the painting,
however.
Two bullets through the piano, but
not improving its tone.
overlooking the back yard 1t was
later on ascertained that this chunk
Of lead entered barn on the opposite
side Of the alley and nicked the ear of
a hostler sleeping on his innocent bed.
Two bullets through the fatal parts
Of n Japanese vase. 1t must have
died instantly
Three or four bullets through cray
on picture Of Mrs. Bowser. They de-
stroyed her nose, knocked out her
front teeth and carried away both eye
| brOwS, but she was glad Of it, as K
| had always given her chill to look
at It.
With the exception of five or six
holes in the ceiling there were no
more marks. The other bullets might
have been shot into the fireplace and
climbed up the chimney.
"Well?" querled Mrs. Bowser after
they had got through hunting.
"If it was a burglar" replied Mr..
.Bowser. "he has been mortally wound
ed and has crawled away to die"
"Yes. that is the way OF it," said the
polite wife, and the lights were turn
ed out, and the couple went back to
bed. Next morning Mrs. Bowser re-
ferred to the matter at the breakfast
table, but Mr.. Bowser discouraged her
by saying:
| afYnu had better ret Won q tonic OF