davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Matrimony's Cost,

Timid Youth-What do / have to
pay for marriage license?
Facetious Clerk-Well, you get it on
the installment plan.
Timid Youth-How's that?
Facetious Clerk-Two dollars down
and most of your salary each week
for the rest of your life.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Will Examine Nurses.

The board of nurses examiners Of
Tennessee, recently appointed by Gov.
Rye, met here May 81 and elected the
following officers: DR.. J. D. Brewer
of Newbern, president; Miss Nell j..
Daugherty, R. NJ, of Nashville, secre-
tary. The officers serve for two years.
The other members of the board are
DR.. Y. w. Haley of Nashville, DR.. Reese
Patterson of Knoxville and Miss Kath-
crime Schulkon, r. N, of Memphis.
In drafting the bylaws to govern,
the board fixed the first Friday and
Saturday in June to hold examinations
in Memphis, Nashville and Knoxville.
Exception is made to this ruling for
the present year, owing to the short
ness of time in which to give due no.
tice to nurses ant hospitals concerning
the provisions of the law and the by
laws adopted by the board. Examina-
tons will be held in the above named
cities the last Friday and Saturday in
June for this year only,
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

your sluggish liver better than dose of nasty calomei
and that it won't make you sick
Dodsons Liver Tone is real liver medicine You'll
know 1t next morning because you will wake up feel
ing fine your liver will be working your headache and
dizziness gone, your stomach will be sweet and your
bowels regular You will feel like working; you'll
be cheerful: full of vgor and ambition.
Dodsons Liver Tone is entirely vegetable, therefore
harmless and cannot savae Give 1t to your children.
Millions of people using Dodson's Liver Tone in
stead of dangerous calomel Your druggist will
tell you that sale calome almost stopped en-
trely here.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
T rickster.

John H. Finley, New York's COM
missioner of education, said in Al
bany, apropos of an argument on BIZ
BILE reading in the schools:
This argument is straightforward
1t does not shift and jump and beat
about the bush. 1t isn't like the tricky
schoolboy.
(Which would you choose his
teacher asked this schoolboy, the
tenth or the twentieth part of an
apple%
THE boy answered that he would
choose the twentieth part, and then,
noting with his shifty eyes his teach
er's frown, he added, hastily:
az don't like apples, you know ~
Washington Star.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
DEMONSTRATION SESSION GRAM
MAR GRADES WILL BE FEA-
TuRE OF WORK.
STATE OSTEOPATHS MEET
Anti-Narcotic Law Is Endorsed at Sew.
enteenth Annual Convention-Oth-
News From Tennessee
.. Capital.

--NaSnVIII6.
George Peabody College for Teach
ers has completed its plans for the
demonstration school for Nashville
boys and girls. This will be one Of
the most striking features of the work
of the summer quarter, and one-fourth
of the places which the school can &C.
commodate are already reserved by
Nashville parents for their children.
This department Of the summer quar-.
ter will be a complete elementary
school of eight grades, with each class
room in charge of teacher of thor.
ough training and experience.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
CLEAN SWEET SCALP
May Be Kept So by cuticura Soap
and Ointment. Trial Free.

To have good hair clear the scalp
Of dandruff and itching with shampoos
of Cuticura Soap and touches of Cuti-
cura Ointment to dandruff spots and
itching. Nothing better than these
pure, fragrant, supercreamy emol-
lients for skin and scalp troubles.
Sample each free by mail with Skin
Book. Address Cuticura, Dept. KY,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Prepare Militia Officers School.

Capt. E. G. Hartley, state armorer.
and four members of the local com.
panies of the national guard have gone
to East Tennessee, to prepare for the
annual encampment and school of in
struction for officers, to be held on
May "a to 20 near Knoxville. Sixty
men will attend this school of mill.
tary instruction, to be conducted by
United States army officers.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Satan and the Cerulean Deep.

Satan and the Cerulean Deep.
I'm in a quandary"
What about?"
81 have two Invitations to dinner,
and l can't decide"
(Which one to accept"
"No, which one to refuse. One is
to a home where young lady has
just come home from piano con-
servatory, and the other is where a
five-year-old boy knows lot of reci-
tations. Farm Life.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
One Exclamation,

whats the difference between a
politician and a statesman"
Il figure it this way. A politician
has to wear a SLOUGH hat and string
tie. But a statesman is sufficiently
sure of his job to feel that he can play
golf without offending the plain PEG.
pie"
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Bio Position For Or. Brown.

Word has been received here that
DR.. Lucius P. Brown, food and drugs
commissioner of the state of Tennes.
has been appointed supervisor of the
bureau of food and drugs of the de.
partment of health of New York City
by Health Commissioner s. S. Gold
water. He was appointed as the first
man of the list in competitive exam.
ination of more than 100 applicants
frcSI every state in the Union, and
Lmber of men now in the federal ser
ice.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Advice Needed.

II will take the matter under ad.
visement," announced the referee in
the divorce proceedings, land will de,
eide the case next week"
But, your honor" put in her coun.
sci, "the appellant is immensely veal.
thy and"
That" said the referee, lis the
point upon which l wish to be ad.
'vised. This hearing is adjourned. -
Judge
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
On Trail of Opium Dens.

Knox Booth, internal revenue agent,
through whose department all VIOLA
trict are prosecuted, left Nashville on
May 20 for Memphis, where federal
court convened. On that day he ap-
peared as witness before the grand
jury to give evidence against about
rs alleged violators OF the narcotic act.
Some of those under arrest on this
charge are said to be old offenders,
three or four of them, it is alleged, hav-
ing operated what is known as opium
joints in Memphis before these cases
came up.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
And Ingenious.

Bing-I understand that Shmelts is
lazy.
Biff-Lazy! You bet! Why, when
he spanks his child he lays carpet
over the kid, so that he can do two
jobs at once!-Michigan Gargoyle.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
AppIied Art.

What's your hired man blowing up
your front yard for, Blinks?"
MY daughter has new camera,
and the instruction says to break up
the foreground before taking picture,
and / couldn't very well let her do
the hard work"
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
To Drive Out Malaria
And Build Up The System

Take the Old Standard GROVES
TASTELESS chill TONIC. You know
what you are taking. as the formula is
printed on every label. showing it is
Quinine and Iron in a tasteless FORM The
Quinine drives out malaria, the Iron
builds up the system. 50 cents. Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
One for the "Cops."

The Fallen One-Officer, did you see
me fall?
Officer-Yes.
The F. O-had you ever seen me
before?
Officer-No.
The F. O.--Then how did you know
1t was me?-Harvard Lampoon.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Flaw In the Argument,

Don't you think that idiots should
be chloroformed at BIRTH" asked the
progressive person.
1T wouldn't be practical" replied
the student of human nature. Most
of them do not show 1t until after they
grow up
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Easy.

"How did you manage to win the
hand of an heiress," asked the en-
vious friend of dancing man."
"Oh-er-I glided into her affec-
tions."
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Quite So.

you want employment and yet you
can't do anything"
"Sir, l was reared to be a lady"
THAT profession is slightly over
crowded Just now" responded the
business man grimly.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
A Bad Guess.

Panhandler Mister, appeal to
you
Passer-by-Not in the least, DO! Ex-
cuse my dust!-Puck.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
The Prescription.

Il have broken down from over
work, doctor. What cure would you
recommend"
"a sinecure; three dollars, please"
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Sarcasm In the Box.

Judge-Then when your wife seized
the weapon you ran out of the house?
Plaintiff-Yes, sir
Judge-But she might not have used
it.
Plaintiff-True, your honor. Maybe
she picked up the flatiron just to
smooth things over.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Kings Daughters Elect.

The annual state convention of the
Kings Daughters, which has been in
session in Madison, adjourned May 20
after electing the following officers:
Mrs. Everett Doolittle CT Madison, vice
president; Mrs. D. c. Zuccarelo of Pu-
laski, treasurer; Mrs. A. L. Crawford.
recording secretary. Mount Pleasant
was chosen as the next convention city
Eighty-four delegates were present
from various sections of the state.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
Stick to Your Intentions.

Don't put off getting Hanfords Bal
sam Of Myrrh until something hap.
pens Get it now and be prepared for
accidents. You will find frequent use
for it in your home and in your stable
for cuts, burns, bruises and any sore,
any lameness. Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red, Weak, watery
Ryes and Granulated Ryelids No smartipg-
by mai Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
ALIENS FOOT-EASE for the I

ALIENS FOOT-EAsE for the TROOPs
Over io0, 900 packages Of Aliens Foot Ease, the
antiseptic powder to shake into your shoes, are
being used by the German and Allied troops at
the Front because II rests the feet, gives In.
slant relief 70 Corns and Bunions, hot, swollen
aching, tender feet, and makes walking easy.
Sold everywhere, Csc. Try 1t TODAY. Don't
accept any substitute. Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
More So Than the Panama.

Bix--Which do you consider the
most important canal in the world?
Dix-The alimentary is to me.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
No Great Wealth.

Tom-She has wealth of hair.
Bess-Oh, l don't know. You can
buy those switches new for Sc.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

There was an increase of nearly
700,000,000 in the cigarette output in
the United States last year.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

A man who is tied to his wife's apron
string certainly isn't fast.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Keep Hanford's Balsam in your sta
BILE. Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

About the only stone the average
boy does not turn Is the grindstone.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Get 1t to the bottom Of the affected
part. ADV.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

For thrush use Hanford's Balsam.
ADV.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

A mans ideal figure usually has a
dollar mark in front of it. ,...r.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

For wire cuts use Hanford's Balsam
Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Let's not gouge other people while
carving out our fortunes.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Any woman can manage man, If
she can only prevent him from know
ing it.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Some people are vain because Of
their imperfections.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Made since 1s4s-Hanford' Balsam.
Adv.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Something Wrong Somewhere.
Does my new dress fit?"
"Splendidly."
Then it Is unbecoming?"
"On the contrary"
Then why does everybody praise
it?"
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy fol
infants and children, and see that II
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
The Gentle Hint.

The Gentle Hint.
MAY ! kiss your hand?" said he.
Wouldn't that be rather out OF
place." quoth she.
And he agreed with her to the full
est extent.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
FOR half A CENTURY

WOODS FEVER PILLS have stood the test
as the best remedy for Chills and Fever and
all Bilious and Malarial Diseases Once
tried always used. Sold by your druggist
DIR. VIM. WOOD & SONS. CAIRO. ILL.
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28
The Direct Cause,

The Direct Cause.
why do you want to get divorced? ?
Because Pm married"
The Parisian. (Paris, Tenn.) 1907-1962, 1915-05-28

81" is the only letter in the alphabet
of egotism.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
At CHILD'S
TONGUE IF SICK
CROSS, FEvERIsH
When constipated or bill
ious give California
Syrup Of Figs"

Look at the tongue, mother!
II coated, it is a sure sign that
your little ones stomach, liver
and bowels need q gentle, thor
ough cleansing at once.
When peevish, cross, listless,
pale, doesn't sleep, doesn't eat or
act naturally, or is feverish, stom-
ach sour, breath bad; has stom-
ach-ache, sore throat, diarrhoea,
full Of cold, give teaspoonful
of California Syrup of Figs, 4"
and In a few hours all the foul,
constipated waste, undigested
food and sour bile gently moves
out of its little bowels without
gripping, and you have a we'll,
playful child again.
You needn't coax sick children
to take this harmless fruit laxa-
tive; they love it's delicious taste,
and 1t always makes them feel
splendid.
Ask your druggist for a 50-cent
bottle of California Syrup of
Figs" which has directions for
babies, children of all ages, and
for grown-ups plainly on the bot
tie. Beware of counterfeits sold
here. To be sure you get the
genuine, ask to see that 1t is made
by California Fig Syrup Com
pany.' Refuse any other kind
with contempt.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
H=R*4>~=@
KRNN~z1M>H

According to Arnold Bennett a
company of territorials were 60
ing through preliminary drill on
Salisbury plain. Private Nallcy
appeared on parade with his shoes
uncleaned.
private Malloy, fall out!' roar
ed the sergeant.
"Pwhat do ye mean by coming
here wild dirty boots-like thot?"
"Shure, sergeant responded
Malloy, I'VE niver saw good sol
der shown a clean pair of heels,
did yer"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
Personal
q n d
Social

X. of p, Liberty Bell temple,
No. s, will entertain the Pythian
Sisters Saturday evening, honor
ing the eth anniversary of the
founding of the Sisters.
Ladies of Our Savior's church
will hold their annual bazaar to-
day.
Mrs. j. f. Sampson will enter
tain members of the Angelus
Study club today.
Tacoma circle, No. SO, Women
of the Woodcraft, will entertain
this evening at a card party In
Eagles hall.
Mrs. Owen Ford will entertain
members of Over-the-Teacups
club Friday afternoon at her
home on So. 3rd and ] SITS.
Mrs. w. Fl. Udall, Mrs. J. w.
BrokaW ana .. M. wall gave talks
this morning at the first meeting
of the Presidents Council at the
Y. w. c. A.
Mrs. william NOR, 424 So. X
street, entertained Joint meet
ing of members of the Congrega-
tional Woman's State Board of
Missions early this week.
Miss FlOssie Dillon gave the
second of her series of readings
yesterday afternoon at Rhodes
Bros tea room ON Ibsen.
The Sodality of Sacred Hearts
church will give a dance this ev-
ening at Odd Fellows temple at
East 25th and Broadway.
Alumnae of the University VI
washington will meet this after
noon at the Commercial club at
4 o'clock.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

p. MORGAN & CO., New York
N. w. HALSEY & CO., San Francisco
E. H. ROLLINS & SONS, San Francisco
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

Owe have had an argu-
ment about how old Mrs.
Woodrow Wilson was when
she died. AS we can find no
information, We come to you.
Also when did she die?
T. G.. j.
A.-There seems to be no avail
able record of the date of Mrs.
Wilson's birth, and none OF the
articles relative to her death men,
ton her age. In a magazine ar
ticle concerning the president Ii
states that he was seven years
older than his wife. He is 50, so
Mrs. Wilson must have been 81
at her death, as she died Aug. q,
1914.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

Dear Miss Grey: Relative
to the end of the world. l
would like to add mine to the
various letters OF interest as
an incentive to thought.
Before we settle down to
the millennium, and good
will to man, the workshop
Christ represented as a car
penter, a builder, must be
cleansed.
Daniel, the prophet and as
trologer said: In the last days
We shall have such troublous
times as was never before
known. Great wars are O
take place. Revelations
says: Blood shall flow to
the horse bride. Does this
mean blood shall flow four
feet deep? Certainly not.
The constellation Pagacious
extends far up into the sign
Aquarius, and these wars will
last until the sun reaches the
horse neck.
What are these wars to DO
about?
THE stars shall fall to
the earth like a tree casting
its untimely fruit. Shaken
by a mighty wind Does
this mean the stars of the
heavens? So far distant 1t
has taken 100000 years
for their light to reach us.
Certainly not; but as it says,
kings, princes and money
lords-It is they who will
fall.
Every mountain and every
island shall be moved out of
its course. This Is govern
nents. What, have We not the
best government on the face
of the earth? Yes, certain
ly we have, and the most
beautiful flag, and we will
defend it with our lives. But
we will defend 1t from evils
within and there can be no
greater evil than that sys-
tenn that robs the masses;
that which dwarfs the chill
mind and body to satisfy
greed; that system which
makes a few milionaires and
millions of homeless people;
that system which defends
property and degrades man
hood. This is one of the
steps which will finally force
confiscation of all prop
erty.
Every bondman and every
freeman will cry out for the
mountains and rocks to fall
upon him and hide him.
Mountains and rocks are gov
ernments of general and mu-
nicipal ownership.
Individuality in business
will be lost, and the cry will
be, 81 cannot make a living
outside of working for the
government. Are we not
rapidly preparing the way
for these things? Are We
blind that We cannot see 1t?
The sun has entered the
sign Aquarius where there is
no star Of the first magni-
tude. While the sun is here
we shall have Gods Sunday
and there will be no great
men, no privileged class, and
no paupers.
WILLIAM STEVENS.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

Carranza government, New Or
leans bankers yesterday closed
contracts to lend t10.000.000 in
gold to the Mexican administra-
ton.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

VANCOUVER, Wash, oct. 81.
While playing game of ten
mis- here yesterday Prof. w. b.
Hall, so. superintendent OF the
Washington School for Blind,
dropped dead of heart failure.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

Q.-Wouldn't It be
good idea to launch a CAM
paign throughout the coun-
try with the purpose OF
stopping the continual and
disgusting habit of actors OF
all classes of vaudeville from
making the time-worn Jokes
about Jews? l am Irish
American, and We Irish are
never insulted by the many
Jokes made in reference to
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
SEAMEN'S STRIKE
DELAYS STEAMER

SEATTLE, Oct. 21.--A strike
of 40 seamen is delaying prep
arations for the American ship
Dirigo to sail for Sweden with q
carload OF barley.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

our nationality, neither are
those of any other nation, but
1t embarrasses me to be in an
audience of which easily one
third are Jews and to realize
the humiliation they must
feel when we laugh and ap-
plaud at their expense. My
sense of humor fails to ap-
preciate the comedy CT such
so-called jokes, and | think
this practice blot upon the
worldwide reputation of the
American stage. j. V. f.
Alt is wrong to hold any
race of people up for ridicule, ant
there is no plaudible reason fol
actors or anyone else SO doing
While l am an American, like you
l cannot appreciate the Joke, ant
think your campaign idea a goot
one.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

The volume of correspondence rapidly
the last few months that further systemazng work
For that shall receive
Wednesdays, between II "a m. m
keep for visitors the office with the hope that of
friends will their
other shall limit my replying by
CYNTHIA GREY
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
ONE ON THE JUDGE

Said the judge to Milligan, who
into court did come:
" lis the seventh time you've
been before me, Bum"
"Yfs,' said Milligan; "indade it's
strange
How some min hold office widout
changed"
Judge.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

large number of readers called the office yesterday
wednesday of week from until 4.
II such redeter day that decided
readers about it, that will
week.
A times II to the
that puzzle than
decided personally the who have problems.
CYNTHIA GREY
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
TEN MILLION rs
LOANED CARRANZA

NEW ORLEANS, La, Oct. 81.
Because of recognition of the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

$5OO,OOO,OOO
AnglO-FrenCh Five Year so
External Loan
SEVERAL OBLIGATION
DATED OCTOBER
" in g DIN
future h nh Take
n be az 70
a % in II nc and auhnh~m nnHea
nandrgmerd bono non
% 49, 5 T ' inter
5h
Payment m" ma" % % % % purchase"
cation W be IA to Isl these bone IN heN or g
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21
BALDHEADS! HERE is FAIR
WARNING TO YOU!

(From the London Times.)
1t was stated at an inquest at
Hackney on the body of a shunter
named Charles Hall, aged 81, who
was run over on the railway and
killed, that he was perfectly bald,
and that the driver noticing him
on the line mistook the back of
his head for his face, and thought
he was coming towards the engine
and could see 1t.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-10-21

Dear Miss Grey In reply to the party who signed him
self Experienced wish few words which know
be his THE Jolly asks IL
they theater in New York other
refused admttance because they uniform
rich mans daughter might haye
Well a rich mans children better anyone
money them the swell Experience
know that against the law and order
navy refuse with uniform admittanee
public they
so2 SAILORS