The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-04-09
The colonel's Duel
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1915. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
By N. QUAD

After supper a dozen or more Of us
c~ongregated in the hotel Office for q
smoke, and presently the landlord anne
among us to say:
Gentlemen, we have a fire eater in
this town named Colonel Sebastian.
He has several peculiar theories Of his
own, and l wish to post >you in adj
vance. He is very strong in his talk
and should you differ with him he will
challenge you to a duel. The colonel
Is a dead shot, and l hope you'll take
a friendly tip and not engage in q
discussion. Let him have his own
way and never mind what he says"
The colonel had never killed any one
yet, but that he stood ready to do so
II his opinions were disputed the land
lord felt dead certain, and so we agreed
to agree with the colonel If he anne
in-all but one. The exception was the
smallest and the most humble looking
man among the guests. No n knew
that he had made up his mind to Op-
pose the colonel, and when the latter
entered, half an hour later, he picked
him out of the crowd as a good man to
go for. He got alongside of him and
after q bit turned on him with:
perhaps you have not been inform
ed that I am the originator of the idea
that all men were once animals of
some sort and that perfection has been
reached only after many centuries Of
time?"
mo, sir, l haven't" was the prompt
reply.
But l am, sub, and what do you
think Of the ideaY
"What idea?"
"Why, the N just stated. I think
you heard me, subj think you did"
"Oh, I remember! Well, l don't train
with that crowd, thank heaven!
"Suh, do you know what you are
saying?" cried the colonel.
II do"
"And that your language, sub, is
personally offensive-persenally Often
sive!"
"1'm sorry you belong to the crowd
who furnishes great IDEAS"
"Crowd. sub! Why, you have gross
ly insulted me and must at once apol-
ogize or accept a challenged"
Bring on your challenge, colonel!"
"Then you will fight me, subj"
Certainly. Just name time, place
and weapons. By the way, I want to
leave in the morning. Can't we fight
In the billiard room, out in the yard,
up in my room? No use waiting until
tomorrow"
"And you'll fight me. subj" gasped
the colonel.
with the greatest Of pleasure. and
I'll bet a Thousand dollars to q shilling
I kill you. Where can we get swords.
rifles. pistols or bowie knives? I am
just aching to fight your
"Were you told about me, sub. befo'
1 appeared here this evening""
ooh. yes"
"You we're told that l was Colonel
sebastian?"
II believe that was the name."
1.-THE Colonel Sebastian Of the Fiji
teenth Texasy"
Eyes, the Tenth or the Fifteenth"
"Who led the charge at Malvern
HIP"
ut was something like that"
mot only one charge. sub. but three
three desperate charges"
"They say five, but let it go ut
three"
land. subj" said the colonel as he
frowued like a bushei of carpet tacks.
did you hear that l was u duelist"
Something was said to that effect"
land that 1 had had twelve affairs
OF 1onah?"
''Only twelve, colonel? Why 1 under,
stood it was twenty" replied the 9th.
er. We'll. this one will make you thir-
teen"
Eyes. suh-yes. sub. Will you honal;
me by giving your name"
Name? Please excuse me for III
forgetfulness. Did you eve hear
General Chilvers?"
"Why-why''-
"Of the Louisiana Tigers?
"Who-what"-
WIN lctk lille uCStNinsC SaAAAAS" 50
second Bull RUM"
"Blcss me. subj"
"And who has killed three times the
number of men that yOu have ir
duels?"
General Chilvers"-
"Never mind that. colonel. You have
challenged me and I accept. Let us
have it over with as soon as possible.
as I have some business to attend to-"
General Chilvers"-
II choose pistols. and I don't think
It will detain me ove five minutes
Where shall we go?''
The colonel swallowed his Adamt
apple three OF four times and ther
asked:
"You-you won't apologize?"
mo. SIR. never! My object Is to XII.
you and get a theorist of the earth
Hurry up. OF I may not be able to hold
myself"
The colonel was on his feet, but he
drew himself up. settled his hat on his
head and his face was as white. az
Aoup anA. hia voice tromhlod mn he aAid.