davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Navy, Not Diplonacy,

According TO the New York World, no Amer.
can has right to attack the Presidents policy
unless he is prepared to demand war in place al
the slow processes Of diplomacy" This amounts
to saying that there is n6 diplomacy but Mr.. VII
sons, and that his diplomacy is necessarily sub
sutute Tor war. Yet 1t might be argued with force
that Mr.. Wilson avoided war not through dinlo-
macy but through luck and that different diplo-
macy would have safesuardcd the country's in
terests var more surely. What fasifes the Worlds
stopped the submarine war by diplomacy" Surely
i ought to be clear by this time that il was the
British navy which ended the submarine war by
making 1t too dangerous and too unpro6tablc Mr.
Wilson's diplomacy consisted almost entirely in
keeping the American people quiet long enough
Tor the British to invent a defense against subuia.
saved Mr.. Wilson's policy and kept us out OF
the war Ii the american people think they have
learned from the Lusitania that moral suasion"
~ worse than can be counted in The nn,,hsr of
dead.-The New Republic
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
A Statesman's Error.

"A Sclf-goyerned Washington could hardly be
worse than the Washington which must hang or
the skirts of Congress and look to strangers fo,
favors," said Representative Bailey, of the House
District Committee, the other day.
When member of Congress views the Ma.
tional Capital in such a light, argument would al.
most seem useless, and reason completely un-
armed. But MIR. Bacys attitude is that of many
Repre- sentatives, and the fundamental error in the
conception both Of the position of the Nations
Capital and of himself public servant, is COM
mon to many members of the House. Fortunately
it is less prevalent in the Senate. ... a..
Mr.. Bailey completely ignores a number of
rather important facts in striking his attitude of
fierce virtue and hardy courage In the first place.
Congress is neither the nation nor the government,
of the United States, but servant of the one
created to assist in the other. Washington asks
nothing from the strangers in Congress, but from
the nation; therefore she cannot be hanging 10 the
skirts Of Congress; and she is not hanging to the
skirts of the nation because the Capital is pecuji
afly part of the nation.
Another rather important fact Mr. Bailev
when he comes to Washington and discusses af
fairs of the District of Columbia is not "Warrep
Worth Bailey, of Johnstown, Pa.." but "a member
Of Congress from Pennsylvania" So are a,,
Others more or less. And the member of Con
eress from Johnstown, Pa, is public servant
asked to spend, not his own money, or something
that belongs.to him, but the money of his master.
the people of the United States; not his own vaiu
able time. taken from private enterprise for per
sonal gain, but the time for which the people of
the United States pay him $500 year
The error which Mr. Bailey voices SO illu,n-
natineiy, is not peculiar to himself. but common
70 nsery 7-.sjSs5 - < a ;, : s.,
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Additional Arm. mud Navy
news viii he found On page D.
society section.

nation between the eight Republicans
and three larger navy Democrats.
The situation on the whole In the Com
ini;;ee on Naval Affairs is better than II
has been for q number of years. The
Republicans are talking of a larger navy.
ard all. With the exception of four, VIII
support the administrators program.
The indications are that II there Is a
minority report it will have very rev
signers.
Army officers reporting at the war De-
partment yesterday were Capts- Niiiiafn
III. Tobin. c. 4. C, and Haistead Dorey'
Fourth Infantry.
Naval officers registering at the Navy
Department yesterday were Lieut. A. 8.
Hflkey, L. s. s. Neptune. and Lieut..
junior grade, r. G. Small. L. 5 S. Jar
Wis
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
NAVAL ORDERS.
MOVEMENTS OF VESSELS.

Arkansas arrived at TomrkinssiIe. December 10
Nlwin arrived at Newport. December 10: Buffalo
sailed for san Diego. December 10: Celtic Sei 10,
Mexican waters. pcrember ei Louisiana and Mime
sn+a arrived at Hampton RoAds. December 10
Nans,ian arrived At san franci~o. December 10
Nerc,rs sailed for San Frarciscu. December 10; Ncw
Orleans sailed for San Blas. December 10; NeW
Yoih arrived al Toinpkinsyilic, Dccrmtrr 10: Raleigh
arrived a. Tornohamto. Deccmter 10; Teas arrived
at Ton,rhirs,Iiic. December 10; valeaa saiied fcs
Pcrt au Prince Dccsmbsr 10. winsiow arrived Al
Roscbauk. y. V. Dccrmist 10; Wyoming arrived at
Tcmrhinssills. Decemtsr 10.
NOTES.
The Dixie has b~et oftiefrd placed IN <sservs
upon arrival at the Philadelphia yard. about De
cemter 80.
ORDERS rO pf'FfrEHs
Lieut.. Cominander Adolrhas Andrews to cunnec.
tion fitting out Oklahoma and duty on board when
commissioned.
yisut. Commander \. Il. Nails. to Utah. .f
Lieut.. Commander Arthur Crenshaw. to naval Sta
tien. Honolulu. -.a a-5-.--r s.ss..
Lieut Ernest ftedfick. 70 navy yard. Nav Yefk.
kieut. John RcdgsrS. to home and wait of11A
Lksut =. O. o. nai1nakisa aee11tcd
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Pro Pocuiis.

The world is mad: | ought to know
Who watch them hurry to AID fro
In search OF money, power and place,
An auto or pretty face,
Rich food and raiment superfnc,
The rarer brands of foreign wine.
Shows and the tense neurotic noise
Such as the ragtIme world enjoys.
Who see them hunt the lighted way,
Turn day to night and night to day,
Stunning the cold and scornful moon
In lobster palace and saloon.
Who hear them on the morrows morn
Rcgretting they were ever born.
Until the prandial cocktail fires
Their jaded souls with new desires,
And sends them toddling down the street
To whecze and drink, to lecr and cat
As long as they've the moidores
To liquidatc their several scores.
Thus on an aimleSs round they go
| know they're mad. | also know
That if | had the nccdful pclf
I'd do the sclfsame thing myself.
They tell us that the ancient Catos
Passion for discourse and potatoes
Bcgat periodic drought
That fairly knocked the wise one out
And left him pledging horns of grog
To Ceres at the Yellow Dog
And preaching Friendship to the blond
Melissas of the dem-monde.
And Cincinnatus, ancient sport,
Whom his compatriots besought
To leave his unproductivc harrow
And cleaye the Volsci to the marrow,
He, it is said, would amblc down
Whene'cr the circus hit the town
And lay his hard earned scsterccs
On shells unoccupied by peas
And so il goes. And | have thought
That man was born to be sport
To flirt and drink and overeat
And dance upon his foolish feet
And do the things you'd least expect
From one possessing intellect.
Quite mad, of course! But what of those
For whom the wassail never flows,
Who never fling a lightsome leg,
Illumined by the festive keg
Or rent cafes on long term leases
For Terpsichorean cantatrices?
Are they the ones whose lucubrations
Add to the gayety of nations
And help to make the world go round?
Not SO! And when they re underground
No roses blossom where they lie
No jocund grape or wholesome rye,
But sorrel and all bitter weeds
Whereon the wandering woody" feeds
And utters disgusted "meeehr'
Some righteous sharp" he means to say,
as lying here beneath the sod.
Il hope the sports will get his wadp'
BRETHERTON
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Seeing the u. S. Capitol
On the Efficiency Plan

4 = =. Z.
| This statue. said the Capitol guide
casting 4 critical eye at Benjamin.
Franklin, cost l0,0Oo."
"lts carved out of solid mayblc.r N
added hsfriedly an he noted the deep.
sst fkepticism In the eye OF the large
lady from Ohio.
.Just i6ok at the buttonholes, mad
ame." continued the guide persuasive
~. DO you think you could work bet
ter ones even in cloth. No? That's
right When you 60 home. ladies and
gentlemen, you can tell everybody that
you've seen Q statue with better but
tonholes than a tailor could make
Hiram Powers did this statue. and It's
great wQrk Of art. Before we pass
on You might notice the cuticle around
the finger nail. And, remember. all
carved out Of solid marble" >
The large lady Jagged to look more
closely at the buttonholss and the
cuticie. and in doing. SO lost the In
troductory remarks concerning Pow
ellis heroic canvas The Battle Of Lake
Erie" She will never know, perhaps.
that There Is a good likeness Of Com
nodore Perry. q good likeness of his
brother. Alexander Perry. and per-
feet reproduction Of the commodore's
cutter In fact, the Iaggard learned
no more than the picture cost 324.U00."
This time the speaker gave doubt no
time to mobiliae. 1T IL the largest oil
painting In the Capitol" he explain
cd.
As soon as the last member of the
party had entered the Presidents room
the guide closed the door. For the mo-
ment that part of him which was art
critic made way for the business man.
HA ghat
terly. that my party is getting larger
all the time. enjoy explaining the
wonders OF this remarkable building
very much, but some of my friends
here have not paid their quarters.
Guide Gets HIS Quarter.
The lady from Ohio. with that high
degree Of curiosity which a clear con-
science inspires, gazed at her neigh
bors In a vain effort to ascertain which
ones had neglected to make the re-
quired sacrifice for history and for
art.
The charge for the trip is a quar-
ter" persisted the guide. I'D like to
go on. 1t only takes about forty min
utes ana I'm sure you'll enjoy 1t, but
the charge 10 25 cents"
-Four men and a boy left the room
and a woman handed over a
dollar.
Twenty-Five. fifty. seventy-five."
said the guide. This room was dec
grated by Constantine Brumidi. a
painter and a patriot. II is without
doubt the most beautifully decorated
office room In the world. Look at the
yelled lady and the child just over
the mirror. Now walk to the other
side OF the room. Do you notice how
lhe Iady's eyes follow you wherever
you go. and her cheeks follow you.
too"
That's right said gray haired
nan who up to this point had taken |
no part in thS proceedings.
This is the chair in which the |
PRESIDENT sits when he comes 10 the !
,apitol to sign or veto bills on the |
asst day of Congress- continued the |
guide. would any member OF my |
srty like to sit In the chair? You |
an take the Presidents place without |
lis salary" he added facetiously in
rider to relieve the strain Of the mo-
nent. No one moved toward the red |
Gather chair, though IL looked COM
ortable.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Morning Smiles.


Professionalism two bodi,s come to.
gether with some force is heat geher.
iated?
Harastax-Not always. sir ] hit guy
once and knorked him cold.-CornrI
Widow.
Nursc-'The new patient in our
ward is light-headed." DOctor-'pe-
lirious or blonde 7'--Baltimore Ameri-
can.
How about your new stcnocrapher-
Is she quick and sccurate?' yes. sir:
she can powder her face. arrange her
bracelets and fix her hair quicker than
any stenographer I ever hail And do II
accurately. too.'-Pittsburgh Post.
MadSe-lt's foolish to put any Christ
mas decorations in this out-of- Ihe-way
corner. You have II SO cluttered up not
more than two could squeeze in there
Marjerie-You little goose. that's where
7 am going to hang my mistletoe.-
Judge.
What's the difference" inquired the
landlady. between a turkey. dinner and
a mess of stewed prunes:'' Il don't
know" said the solemn boarder. In
that case she continued, 81 might as
well save money and serve prunes."-
Louisville Courier-Journa!.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

Editor sof The washington Herald;
Permit the following expressions re-
gardiing the ''peace- phase OF the
paramount subject Of European war.
The writer fears lest the over-zealous
advocates OF terminHtion OF hostiii-
ties are being led ihto the commit
ment Of egregious errors that may ac-
! eentuate rather than mollify the hos
tile spirit that exists SO strongly
abroad. Whatever may be the views OF
American citizens pertaining TO
causes. effects and cure. the writer Is
! persuaded that the highest interests OF
all concerned can be best subserved
by yielding to that course for pacifca-
tion which emanates from our reg
uiarly appointed officials. Proper criti-
cism Of their efforts Is justified, But
non -officiai and thoughtless move
ments, whether sincerely inaugurated
or not. must seemingly culminate In
A useless failure that leaves trouble
in its wake.
The titanic struggle snow raging
naturally has had an appalling effect
upon civilization. Yet we should De
mindful that IL we are to aid our
fellows to emerge from chaos TO or
der. orderly methods must be pur-
.ued F4lse sentiment. undue temper
must he casr- aside and in its stead
placed the element of Justice tempered
with mercy. Interference sometimes Is
equivalent to participation. but II
,riseIv made aids in the restoration OF
peace.
tunately is ofttimes lacking Despite
wars the world has reached its pres
mt advanced staSe of civilization
And those of us who have been STU
dents OF the philosophy OF history
and moral science are cognizant OF
the fact that wars have ofttimes been
of much that was goou anu
IN. wnria makes impracticable the
doctrine of universal peace Let us
be properly hopeful and reasonable.
Holy influences will finally iuii 10
sleep the deadly effects OF the 'er
bic carnage now taking place ana
.b.a .broad the light of a brighter
and a more truly progressive day.
w X. YATES
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

+ Il always urge the ladies to sit II
the chair. unmarked the master oi
4 ceremontes. because feel Sure nont
Of them win ever occupy IL
\ s,stee. IN ne CAslr.i
Propelled by her Escort. q short
blond catapuIted out off the crowd
sat In the chair. giggied and bounced
ouf again. Thereupon fifteen others
accepted the adventure.
| From here" said the leader. I'VE
pass into the Marble Room, which il
used by the Senator'S as . private re-
| caption room. It is called the Marble
Room because. as you see. 1t is all
marble We will now walk to the west
f1ront OF the Capitol into Statuary
Hall You'll often hear this called the
Han OF Fame but Ii isn't It's Stat
uary Hall. Each State In the Union has
the right to send statues in bronze or
marble OF two OF its fay-vo-rite sons.
What State are you from" de-
manded the guide. with disconcerting
fensive old woman who had paid her
| quarter and never wronged a soul.
Missouri" she admitted
Triumphantly the guide indicated a
statue OF pudgy little man.. wearing
an enormous wing collar which tick
led both ears II was labeled Benton.
The old lady regarded 1t without en-
thusiasfn. Shoup was next fdentified
at the request of man from Idaho.
and some well known statesmen and
an educator from Alabama whose
name begins with an IN" or, perhaps,
It's an r." was pointed out
The corner stone OF the Capitol was
laid In 17sa The dome weighs $685.
200 pounds and the Senate Chamber Is
'1l3 feet inches in length. The Cap
itol was burned by the British in 1SiI.
just as George Sylvester Viereck il
fond of pointing out when he dis
cusses the violation of Belgium's neu-
trality and the rights Of small ma
tons The damage has since been re-
paired.
How TO Tell Representative.
The House OF Representatives has
4s5 members. We completed the count
last night II Is easy to tell a member
of the House. In the first place he
In too old to be mistaken for a minor
league baseball player. and he is much
too self-conscious to be sized up as
the heavy man in a stock company
There Is In the House an abundance
Of material from which to make stat
ues for the next generation fully as
homely as anything at present in the
Capitol.
Possibly the spirit which has gov
erned the selection Of paintings and
statues for the Capitol is best ex-
pressed In the "oniy guide book sold.
in the building" wherein you may
read:
These four paintings cost $4,000
each. They are worth the money which
they cost. and they are also worthy
of the inches they fill in the great
But these four paintings are
out of the inra einations Of the artists
and they are secondary to the paint
ings on the west side of the rotunda,
which cost only $4,000 each. These
paintings represent actual events just :
as they did occur. and they are not
out of the imagination of the artists
We are a businesslIke people. and
Shy should We spend pubic money f.
for something which has been made
up out of a PERSONS mind? We are
also a free people. and it is our right :
TO have art just hideous as we
Correspondence
ef the New York Tribune.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Justice Day and His Son.

Justice Day. of the United States
Supreme Court, is a man of small stat
ure. a writer In "Everybody's" OBJ
serves: while his son looms high even
among six x-footers. Recently the son
came into the Supreme Court room
Seizing the opportunity, Justice
Holmes Jotted down d note on a piece
of paper and passed II along When
1t reached Justice Day, he read: my,
the boys a block on the old chip. isn't
h&. Day!'
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

Secretary of State Lansing announces: "The
German Ambassador informs that the En-.
pcror has been pleased to recall Capt. Won Papcu
and Capt Boy-Ed in accordance with the wishes
Of the United States" We should have thought
the Kaiser might have been able to conceal his
pleasure.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

The milonth Ford has been completed in the
Detroit factory and the man who can make and
sell automobiles faster than 100000 people can
make jokes that have no market value is entitled
to the last laugh.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

A Colorado judge announces that he will not
have his hair cut until Henry Ford and his peace
advocates have accomplished the task of bringing
"the boys out of the trenches" IL he lives long
enough he will probably be able to get his locks
trimmed on a techncality. ...
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
rosehiaf Mr.. Br,sa.

from the taxation Of gasoline and automobiles. for
the common people" use them both, which is to
say that Mr.. Bryan himself has now reached the
gentleman from Nebraska with winter home in
Miami, Fla, is found protesting against an inn
pest on diamond tiaras, ropes Of pearls and Jew
elled stomachers New York World.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

woman suffrage resolution begins: Whereas
the cnfranchisement of women is more important
than revenue, commerce, national defense or in
ternatonal relations" Butt if all things are abol-
ished what will the women want with the vote
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

A film concern has offered Gov Walsh. OF
Massachusetts,, $4,000 week to pose in a peace
DRAMAS 1t will be little tough on the concern
if the governor, who is soon to retire from Office
accepts since the newspapers have already fallen
for the advertising and Gov. Walsh has plenty OF
doubles" who are willing TO work for lot less
money. .
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
WHAT OF TODAY:

It's not where I'll be Tomorrow
That bothers me on my way,
That vexes my soul with sorrow,
But where am | at Today
Some groan DER the Thence and Thither,
The Wherefore, the Why, and How,
The terrible Whence and WHITTIER
For me it's the HERE and NOW!
Copyright tslsJ
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

The railroads have been enjoined against Der
mitting passengers to carry Intoxicating liquors
into West Virginia in their personal baggage.
Nevertheless lot of booze will continue to find
its way across the border concealed under coats.
waistcoats, sweaters and hickory shirts.
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
Where /. Piaee Ae fa..

Germany gives US a tip. She IS Koing to levy
tax OF 50 per cent on the profits of the munition
makers. Munition makers who now make 400 per
cent profit on their investment will have to worry
dsas Of the eountfy< -Detfoit 5oarnaiS ~
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

Villa and his forces have been driven out of
Sonora, but in adjacent territory in Mexico the
event is not regarded as cause for rejoicing
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12

Philadelphia has the reputation of being slow
town, but it must apply only to its pedestrians
since seventy-one killed by automobiles this
year, increase of fourteen over 1914
The Washington herald., 1915-12-12
A Line O Cheer Each Day o the Year:
By JOHN KENDRIcK BANGS.

First printing of an original poem written lni1J
for The Washington Herald
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1915-04-13
lnuectIve Carried Too Ear.

An unusual suit for SANDER brought
by clergyman against members OF
his church. is reported by the Michi-
gan Law Review as follows:
Plaintiff, minister of the Gospel,
and defendants were members OF the
Colored Baptist church During a
campaign for state prohibition plain
tiff opposed the adoption Of the consti-
tutional amendment to that effect. De-
PENDANTS, at various conventions Of
said church, made statements to the
effect that plaintiff was a rascal, a
whisky agent, disgraceful saloon
puller, etc, and introduced resolutions
expelling him from membership. Held,
that the occasion was qualifiedly priv
ileged and that in the absence of NAL
ice being shown no action could be
maintained; but that the statements
made we're so Incorporate and the
epithets applied so vile as to be alone
sufficient to carry the question Of NAL
ice to the jury"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1915-04-13
ELDERLY MAN ~0FFICE BOY'
New Yorker Who Has Tried Scheme
More Than Satisfied With
Results Achieved.

A Broadway business man was talk
ing to friend who was looking for a
good Office boy
"Cut out the boys" he said with
confidence, "and get an old man who
is willing to work for less than a
mans wages. began it about year
ago and I never did better thing.
Il got the suggestion from man
not in business, but physician. He
had ordered some article or other
which had not come promptly and he
came in person to see about it. |
told him, which was true, that had
been bothered so by changing my Of
fee boys that | couldn't get it to him.
Then he blew out at me and asked
me why ! didn't get an old man to do
office boy work and | wouldn't have
any more bother.
1T looked so different at first that
I laughed at him hut he insisted so
that it was the Only cure that con-
cluded | would try it. / knew OF an
old chap. honest and living with his
son, doing small jobs and helping all
he could for his keep, and | asked him
how he would like to be Office boy for
me. He laughed just as | did at first,
but insisted on his trying it and he
agreed to come and do the best he
could but wouldn't guarantee that. he
would be satisfactory
"He came the next day and though
he was a bit slow at first he was al
ways ready and willing and in week
or so was so well satisfied with him
that | wouldn't have traded him for
all the boys | had been bothered with
for five years. He isn't perfect, nor
is anybody. for that matter, but he is
reliable and honest, never soldiers on
me, doesn't smoke cigarettes or read
dime novels, isn't fresh around the
store, is always polite and is always
on time.
81 pay him 81 week and he is glad
enough to get it, and he isn't so old
but that he is good for at least ten
years of duty, which will also be ten
years of comfort for me and the entire
store. | don't say that any old man
will be as satisfactory as this one, but
] do say that nine-tenths Of the old
fellows will make better office boys
than the average we have to put up
with.
"Try an old man for an office boy
and see If you can do any worse than
you have been doing. Several Of my
friends are doing it and SO far they
are all pleased with the change"