The sun., 1915-03-30
IT HURTS TO KILL
YOUR FIRST MAN
Foreign Legion Soldier Felt
Triumphant: Then Rcmorsc
struck Him.
NO SCIENCE OR CHlNALRY'
~ PHIL RAIDER.


LONDON. March How II feels 10
kill n man is something I cannot adc-
quately describe There are somc mil
lions of men In Europe who have had
this feeling during the past half year.
hut venture to say that not ono or
them could faithfully detail his emotions
upon trst taking a human life. After
you sec your victim drop you first feel
a sense OF triumph. Then the ages of
training in the Ten Commandments
come to the front and you feel like
murderer. Then you want TO run
around among your mates and tell them
the circumstances OF the KILLING ana
re, them to tell YOU that YOU did the
right thing.
NV experience was like that. was
standing beside my Lieutenant one day.
lie had fastened small mirror to
twig and was looking at the German
trenches. when suddenly he exclaimed ::
"Get your gun! A Boche has come out
Of his trench"
ran down the trench. got MY gun
and came back TO the loophole. was
so excited could hardly aim. Through
the hole saw German standing on
the edge of his trench. lie had been
carving "A huge board and had rested
{, ngains, his back while he tried to
light his pipe.
.'Get him! oct him :" said the Lieu
tenant
I. fircd and missed. The German
s,rucl, another match and merely looked
contemptuously at tho spot in space
where the bullet had whstled past him
He was only forty-tive feet away from
me. but through the loophole ] could
see only part OF his body and | wanted
20 hit him low. II possible. / aimed
again. lie wheeled around and backed
in n circle, like drunken man. trying
TO keep his balance Then he threw
up both hands and fell forward on his
face
turned around to look at the Lieu
tenant He had moved away. ] was
proud Then : wave of remorse came
over me il was the Thou shalt not
Kill" that Is buried deep in every sane
mans mind and heart.
Il got a German" I shouted 20 A
soldier near by. told MIN how the
man had been standing there. holding
a board
'Dd he have a rife" asked the
soldier.
why, no" saia
And you sho, an unarmcd man
"I mad direct orders" | answered |
felt like dog II seemed 70 mo that
I must md some human being who
would say that | had done right | told
another soldier about II.
SERVED him right" said the soldier.
He'd have done the same thing to YOU"
Those were splendid words for me
/ had run along the trench before ! met
him after 'ha. held up my head,
But the two feelings. the pride and the
remorse. Tough, in my mind At last I
told T. TO an Old legion soldier.
My boy he said, ITS war. Could
vou have refused 10 shoot undcr the
eva Of the Lleutenant' War IS killing.
ard that's all there 10 TO Il. Suppose
every soldier IN the French line were 20
obey his own instincts about killing.
None ~ tho enemy would die. The
French have brought YOU hero to Kill.
You are ordered 10 kill and you must
XIII whenever YOU can
Technically | had done wrong, be-
cause all war is terribly wrong.
! sat behind a machine gun one day
soon Ifter that and killed eleven Ger
mans who had built harricade In
some nearby trees They were shooting
AZ us and | fclt much better about Kill
ing them than | did about the single
German.
And then later. again on the bicycle
seat of the machine gun, and AZ tG'
rate Of zoo shots a minute, ] fired al
advancing columns of Germans in Close
formation and watched them drop and
squirn They were coming - kill us 81
they could. II vas only fair to xii
them under the rules Of the war game
y terrific sense Of power iilled me; th'
rattl" of that GUN was sw"eter an'
grander TO me than tho "llalleluial
Chorus" know what u meant to b,
druuk with killing. Other machine gun,
wcr" goirc too. hut ! felt AZ the time al
Il mine were the only one The Ger
mans turned and ran. their formation
smashed. their dead and WOUNDED
strrvug the hillside
But that night. after I had crawle,
INTO my mudholo hut to sleep. I didu'
dHre 20 think Of all the women an
children whose hearts had heon hit b.
hat machine gun fire