The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1915-12-10

heau Aoi othdnltut, thc Suhit ar u
mules.
ANY one carrying a rabbits foot
around in his hind pocket is sure to
have gccd luck"
Mr.. Bowser silently folded the manu-
script and returned it to his pocket and
looked at Mrs. Bowser and asked:
Can you deny that the gentleman
gave me bright idea and that have
not worked it up to the best advan-
tage?"
"Mr. Bowser." said she i'm reply, you
might have both hind pockets and all
other pockets in your clothing stuffed
full of rabbits feet and they would not
be sufficient to get that article accept
ed even by a family almanac!'
by George. woman. what are you
sayingr' he exclaimed.
Keep cool. sir-keep cool! Don't go
to shouting or gesturing or getting un-
duly excited. II the editor of the Nat
uralist should ever receive such a con-
tribution and he had a supply Of pens
and ink handy and had little time to
write, he would answer:
"It Is estimated that the rabbits of
the United States pull down and de-
vour at least 1000 persons a year.
mo rabbit was ever yet known to
eat mince pies. They prefer custard
pies.
"The hind legs of a rabbit are the
longest, as you ought to have known.
They were made thus that he could
climb tree wrong end to and be all
ready to come down again with
promptness and dispatch If alarmed.
"'You are mistaken about the number
of offspring at birth. 1t is $50 in
stead of thirty-two. This is that the
rabbit may in time crush out all the
beef trusts.
"'NO rabbit was ever satisfied with
running fifty miles an hour. He start
ed right of the mark at a pace of 125.
II there were two dogs after him he
not detect him.
"'An the rabbits in Ohio and Michi-
gan swim across Lake Erie twice q
day for the fun OF the thing.
"'No rabbit with any self respect
would get drunk on sweet cider. You
must set out old rye or dry champagne.
"'YOur rabbit pies of the restaurants
and hotels not only contain mutton. but
beef hash, ham hash. veal hash or
! other kinds of hash. The rabbit needn't
feel insulted at the name.
Mature did not give the rabbit tail
because he was the last animal made
and there were no tails to spare.
"a rabbit was given large ears not
for ornament, but that he might hear
all the gossip going on in the woods
You may have observed many women
with ears almost as large.
".As to rabbits feet bringing good
luck. more than 10000 men are drown
ed every year with their pockets stuffed
with the tokens. Better cnrry around
with you the tip of a donkey's tail
That's what he would think of your
bright idea. Mr.. Bowser." said Mrs.
Bowser as she finished.
Mr.. Bowser sat with his mouth half
open and the glare Of a ferocious pan
ther In his eyes, but he answered never
word
You had better have written of the
rhinoeeros in Africa. for you know as
much about him as you do of the rab-
bits of the United States"
There WAS a decided twitch to Mr..
Bowser's ear like a horse that is try
ing to make out a sound.
I'VE have three different works on
/ hfessa Ia. -
you have never opened one of them.
You broadly state that his fore legs are
the longest. Our butcher has half q
dozen hanging outside of his door ev.
cry day. One glance Of your eyes
would have told you that you were
wrong. All the other statements in
your article are equally as absurd. In
fact, Mr.. Bowser''-
"Yes. my lady. in factr' repeated Mr.
Bowser. as he rose up and started fol
the hall tree.
Are you going outT' was asked
There was no answer. Mr.. Bowsel
got into his overcoat and hat and
banged the front door after him. HI
was not going to hunt the ferociou.
rabbit nor let the rabbit hunt him, bul
he wanted to walk and think over tha
bright idea which the gentleman hat
SO kindly given him and which Mrs
Bowser had jumped on with both feet
As he walked he brought up at tn,
drug store OH the corner. He didn'
enter the store. but stood 0utsid,
bumped over as became forl0rn hus
band. The druggist saw him through
the window and came to the door an,
asked:
"Bowser. Is there anything wrong ?
'Naw," was the gruff reply.
Il thought there was. old man. from
your looking so used up. I think an
right. think you and Mrs Bowse
have had a discussion. and you hav,
come out of it with the loss Of one leg
as usual. Go home. Bowser-go hom
and be glad that you have got such
smart wife"