davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
MODERN LIVING COMES HIGH
Observer Thinks There Are Too
Many Necessities" In Demand
at the Present Time.

Zone of the reasons for the cost of
living" observes a wise clubman,
lies in the fact that people buy
wholly unnecessary things. | had a
conversation with the proprietor of a
novelty shop in Fifth avenue few
days ago. shiny object had attract
ed. my attention, and inquired about
its use.
"'These,' said the proprietor, are
gilded pincers to pick up letters one
has placed on the letter-scales.'
"'And that ivory stick, carved and
forked at the end?'
People use that to fish out things
they have dropped into carafes.'
"'That square of morocco, about
the size Of a nut-what is that for?
That's a tampon-used to press
down stamps after sticking them on
envelopes
That ornamental box with whole
battery Of little brushes?
Those are to clean other brushes;
brushes to clean .hair-brushes, brushes
to clean tooth-brushes.' New York
Evening Post.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Travestx on ReaI FaIataff.

Yarmouth has a claim upon all Eng.
lishmen quite Independently Of its as,
sociations with the breakfast bloateE.
remarks a writer in st. Nicholas For
1t was the home Of Shakespeare's Fai-
staff, who appears to have been man
of exemplary piety. The Falstann
were an old Yarmouth family.
"A Falstolfe or Falstaff," writes
John Richard Green, was bailitf oe
Yarmouth in 1881. Another Is among
the first Of its representatives in par
lament, and from that the members
of that family filed the highest mu-
nicipal Offices. John Falstolfe, a man
of considerable account in the town,
purchased lands at the close Of the
fourteenth century in Caistor, and BE-.
came the father Of Sir John Falstolfe,
who, after a distinguished military CO.
reer, was luckless enough to give hi9
name to Shakespeare's famous char
acter. In Yarmouth, however, he wae
better known as a benefactor to thu
great church of st. Nicholas.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
WALKING eraveyards.

Some Of the Indian princes have
given over two million dollars apiece
to Britain for the war. Beside such
gifts, the gifts of London business
millionaires seem small.
I'm fact" said James Douglas, in an
interview, "in fact, the gifts of the
nizam of Hyderabad and the mahara-
jah of Mysore and the gaekwar of Ba.
roda give our English Merchant
princes, who owe England SO much
more, look of avarice; and you
know the definition of avarice.
"Avarice, like a graveyard, takes in
all it can get, and never gives any
thing back"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
COSTLY METHOD OF REVENGE
Procedure in Europe Reminded An
drew Carnegie of a Somewhat
Humorous Incident.

Andrew Carnegie, in recent inter
view on peace, said to New York
reporter
"a lad twenty killed man and
woman in sarajevo. All Europe is now
lighting to avenge this wrong. Eng
land alone is spending $4,000 min
ute, according to Sidney Webb, on gun.
powder.
We'll, this is such an expensive way
to avenge wrong that 1t reminds me
Of the man at the banquet.
"A man entered the cloakroom, at
the end Of banquet, and began to
smash in silk hat after silk hat.
" Hold on, boss! What 70 yo' smash
in all dem high hats? demanded the
attendant.
"Tm looking for my own" the gen.
tleman answered. It's an opera hat
collapsible, you know. None of these
seem to be it,"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
WOuIdn't Stand for 4.

She wore a determined look as she
entered the drug store.
Look here, young man, If a tall
man with red mustache comes and
asks you for prescription you're not
to let him have 1t"
Really, madam, l."
mo, you mustn't let him have 1t
on any account. He's come here for
month, and says he wants some.
thing to improve his appetite. He's
boarding at my establishment, young
man"
And with a muttered threat the
landlady passed from the shop leav-
ing the druggists assistant pale and
trembling.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Whx rhomaa conourred.

Whack, whack, whack! Tommy was
undergoing a painful punishment at
the hands of his loving mother for
eating the jam.
Tommy" she said seriously, when
she was forced to pause, this hurts
me far more than it does you"
And when Tommy was alone with
his brother he produced a square
board he had concealed, and thought
fully murmured:
Il thought all along that bit Of wood
wouldn't do her any good!"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Suited Either WAY.

Miss Lucy Price, Clevelands leaA
ing antisuffrage speaker, tells Of Z
funny incident which happened in Men
England while she was campaigning
there. She was walking down the
street after having made what shs
thought was a particularly effective
talk against suffrage when a woma4
stopped her.
Miss Price" she said, Il want To
tell you how much liked your speech
It was one of the best / ever heard"
II am SO glad you are with US" NJ
sponded Miss Price, "and | hope you
will come to our other antisufrags
meetings"
"Oh," exclaimed the astonished
woman, "I thought that was a suffrags
meeting you spoke at"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Poor RurqIar.

"A burglar got into my house about
three o'clock this morning when was
on my way home from the club" said
Jones.
did he get anything?" asked
Brown.
II should say he did get something" !"
replied Jones. "The poor devil is in
the hospital. My wife thought it was
me. e."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

Offenders. At present, he says, the
adjutant generals Office has on file
the finger-print records of 2O2,244 In
dividuals who are now or had been
previously enlisted in the army.
During the past fiscal year 467
cases Of fraudulent enlistment of for.
mer deserters, general prisoners and
others were discovered through the
finger-print system. During the pre-
ceding year the number of cases of
fraudulent enlistment discovered
through that system was 256, and dur
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
At the First siqns

OF falling hair get Cuticura. 1t
works wonders. Touch spots Of dan
druff and itching with Cuticura Oint-
ment, and follow next morning with a
hot shampoo of Cuticura Soap. This
at once arrests falling hair and pro-
notes hair growth. For free sample
each with S2-p. Skin Book, address
post card: Cuticura, Dept. x, Boston.
Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

presence of host Of attaches not all eligible perhaps out Gear
e of the duane the hostess And there are six foreign nun
@ here who Don Roberto Brenes Mesen from
hca Mehdi Khan Persia Dr. Alberto Membreno from Honduras
Carlos Manuel Cuba Vscoun dte from Portugal and
Vontantin Brun from Denmark
The bachelors and the house bseS with
Moreover number Of and navy Dacnos now Ou
~ positions Importance in the national capital
and the wdOwers be overlooked Foremost among nem
on Mclean one Of the richest Of tho
homes Washington nothing Of friendship ms county
pace entern constantly elaboaey and s notably
ng host William Lamar Acknowledgement for the
y0lt once department fnelookng with branA
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Sians of War.

So many of our busy burghers are
standing in front of the war maps,
arguing and declaiming, that dozens
of safes and pianos are being hoisted
into high buildings with almost no
body to observe the phenomenon.
And on Broadway man repaired a
tire to a gallery of four boys.-New
York Tribune.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
The PeelInu Kind.

Mamma" said a little boy, "the
place where l got stung last Sunday
down at Uncle Jims is all peeling
off,"
Brother Bruce took a look at the
injury.
That's So" he grinned, II guess
you must have been stung by a husk-
ing bee"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
startIrq the Day wrono.

There was gloom on the face of the
farmer.
Whats the matter, EliIah?" asked
his nearest neighbor "Flapjacks given
out over to your house?"
"Worse'n that" said Elijah. "You
know, 'twasn't apple year, and wife
says we can't have any more apple
pie for breakfast"
Cant you make out If you have
apple pie noon and night?"
Il can, because I've got to-" said
Elijah, "but, 1 tell you, 1t upsets me,
starting the day wrong like that"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
His ONLY Possession.

AL Rogers was travelling through &
lonely section in the suburbs Of Ioe
ton one night short while ago, whea
ton one night, a short while ago, whe8
he was startled by hearing this pitS
GUS appeal:
"Will the kind gentleman pleas
help a poor unfortunate man? II"
AT this point AL felt to locate hia
watch. The other continued:
Il have nothin' in the world but this
loaded revolver"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Distorted NanetarIanIsm.

80 long as you find the cost Of liv
ing high" said the friendly adviser
why don't you and your husband be
come vegetarians?"
What do you mean?" asked the
worried looking woman.
why, eat only vegetable prod
ucts."
Couldn't think of 1t. What I'm try
in to do now is to persuade John tC
take to beefsteak and quit tryin' tc
live on liquor and tobacco"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
UpsettInq His Theory.

"The heavy explosions of a battle
always cause rain. 1t rained after Wa
terloo; 1t rained after Fontenoy; it
rained after Marathon"
"But Marathon was fought with
spears and arrows, my dear"
There you go. Always throwing
cold water on anything l have to say"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
sssklnn Worthy ohlsnts

"Dodsworth tells me that he is a
practical philanthropist."
That's just what he is. Before Of
fering dime to beggar Dodsworth
asks him so many disagreeable ques-
tions that the poor devil is glad to es-
cape without the dime"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

congregae at lunch hours themselves with
not SO much that the bugs Chamber down the sides empty milk bottles
and eagerly lap the the white fluid The Judge hasn't
the slightest desire of their sustenance
But the judge has decided feeling against the bugs eating the thou
sands Of drawings and descriptions the galleries.
that the bugs after feeding milk by kdhared
the department. still oagng in the files
choice documents which finish their
drink first and eat aterwa but these remember and there
accounting for what bugs will do
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
A Woman's Wav.

Your doom is sealed" cried the
villain.
"Ha!" laughed the heroine defantly
'I guess / can steam 1t open"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Failures as steppInu stonea.

John Wanamaker, in a recent ad-
dress in Philadelphia, urged his audi
ence to persevere.
Every successful man." he said,
has probably had more failures, far
more failures, than the nonentity has
had.
Success, after all, is nothing more
than failure with new coat Of paint"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Inconsistent.

"The English are queer people"
"You think so?"
"Yes. In time of peace they treated
Tommy Atkins with contempt and
made him sore, and now in time of
war they treat him with so much good
liquor that they make him drunk"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

HAes to do nice things for them and
pay them little attentions. The third
assistant postmaster-general, Alexan-
Ser Dockery, is another bachelor. At
nls nome in Missouri he is a political
tOree' He was at one time governor
Of the state.
There is also John Barrett, direC-
'or OF the Pan-American union. He is
mar OF some means, with a taste
Tor society.
Tue presence of the diplomatic
corps In Washington naturally means
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

ing the fiscal year 1912 the number S37
This Office identified Of this
tenn dead who soldiers whose identity could not be salts
o established civil offenders who sought
70 eVade arrest for their by enstng the under assumed
names and soldiers who Impressions their fingers while the act Of
committing ofense.
1T undoubtedly true that the fngepnt records and photo
sapns has deferred the the
purpose of detection the civil authorities
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

clerk Of the interior department, has
anything to say in the matter-and he
has everything to say, as a matter
of fact.
The Judge has just issued an edict
that milk bottles-either full, half full
or empty-are to disappear at once
from the precincts Of the patent office.
It is not so much that the bugs scram-
BILE in gangs and troops from all cor
ners and crevices of the patent Office
and invade the galleries where the
employees Of the Office are wont to
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
The Best LlnImen,

For falls on icy walks, sprains ana
bruises, rub on and rub in Hanford's
Balsam of Myrrh. Apply this linimena
thoroughly and relief should quickly
follow. Adv.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
COLDS & LaGRIppE

5 or 6 doses 6e6 will break any case
of Chills & Fever, Colds G LaGrippe;
1t acts on the liver better than Gallo
mel and does not gripe or sicken.
Price 25c-Adv.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
RuR.MY.TlSM

VIII cure your rheumatism and all
kinds Of aches and pains--Neuralgia,
Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts,
Old Sores, Burns, etc. AntlseptIs
Anodyne. Price 25c.-Adv.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
His Favorite Role.

"Dubson entertained some friends
at dinner last evening"
Entertained you say? Why,
Dubson invariably makes an ass of
himself"
That's how he entertained them" I"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Had Debts Of His Own.

Nodd-Here's a list of European
war debts, Don't they stagger you?
Todd-Well, they might, old man;
but I've Just been looking over my
monthly acAounts.-Life.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

When a woman discovers a silver
strand among the gold she always
says 1t is premature-but she thinks
it's shame.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
War stvlss.

Have you heard anything about
the fall fashions as YETI"
mot as to how the gowns will be
made. l suppose the girls are bound
to wear cartridge belts, Of course"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
The prummer,n Work.

"Are these moving pictures Of the
war authentic?"
"Of course. All but the rumble of
artillery. That's initiated by the
drummer"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Quite SAFE.

What did that man want with you,
Henry?"
"He was after my scalp"
Goodness gracious"
Don't be frightened. He's only a
hair specialist"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Marble TO Retain.

Kniicker-Jones has a remarkable
memory.
BoCker-Wonderful; he remembers
a winter that wasn't just like this.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
rhA Test.

"Is he a good lawyer?"
Il should say he is. He's acquitted
some of our most notorious crimi-
nails"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL, YOu
Try Murine Rye Remedy for Red. Weak, Watery
ss hyeS R2s Ssd Oofn1 %a Sysd 70 sT,ssrpg
BY mail Free. Murine Bye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

The painless filling you get at res
taurant is far more satisfactory than
the one you get in dental parlor.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Cause kemnved.

did you notice how few Sunday
school picnics there were this sea-
SOM"
Il did in a way"
How in a way?"
Il did remark how little rain we
had"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Finger-Print System Proves Useful to the Army

RRG GEN GEORGE ANDREWS adiutant general of the
made the successful
tOn Of the fngerpnt Identification the detection Of military
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

ing has made him expert in diseases Youngsters
Once the $4,000 secured male fish patholopi
who has made life sangest paths Of scientific
There barely pos in the In
States at the present time sad and possible sources of diff
Guilty the may experience the an
salary OF only $500 He will required make his beaa
te at Washington and receive here the
epdemcs at government hachees country
Is not particularly well general public that front and
salmon greatly troubled with the human being would
considered somewhat close ge swelling the thyroid
gland the throat OF salmon trout which apparent
swelling OF the throat and eventually results afflicted
fish, At the present there disease and It is
begin study OF this and similar ailments that
ing a fish doctor.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Conscientious.

Hes one of the most conscientious
men l know"
"So?"
"Yes. He always says Give me a
match, please, instead of Lend me q
match. Detroit Free Press.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

For any cut use Hanford's Bal.
sam. Adv.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

If you have nothing to worry about
ask your wife; she can always supply
you with a because.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Many Eligible Bachelors in the National Capital

AsHNGToN has long list of eligible bachelors Among them is the
new associate justice the Judge McReynolds How
e he by msoam He fond Of the society Of girls and
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

There is a story in that facel"
you must be seeing 1t out OF the
tale of your eye"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

The self-made man can't understand
why anyone should prefer a family
tree to a business plant.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

You never believe a man when ne,
flatters you, but you like to hear IL
Just the same.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
quite Old Fashioned.

Did she marry well?"
mo; it was a case Of true love-
Harvard Lampoon.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

Many a girl is a gem, in spite Of
the fact that she refuses to be cut.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

Experience is a good investment
only when you don't pay more for 1t
than 1t is worth.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
The Uusual Story.

How came you to lose control Of
your automobile?"
Because my wife wanted It."
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Bugs, Deprived Of Food, Desert the Patent Office

pUGs varied shapes and up great gusto
the patent office Of The
lunch in that building have passed Parker chief
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

A girl refuses to let a man kiss her
because she knows that he will do it
anyway.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

Many a man is self.satisfied because
he is not particular.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

Start the year by getting Hanford's
Balsam. You will find frequent use
for it. Adv.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Quite So.

"Baleful lookout this, isn't it?"
What lookout"
"Cotton!"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

How q man does admire bright chill
dren-if they are his own!
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Logical Result.

She has such a dogged expires
sion"
mo wonder, with that pug nose"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Inonortant "a Mothara

HWIPVT EEIIIN 70 TVEVGTTUTU =
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that It
Signature Of &MzZzzu
In Use For Over go Years.
Children Cry for EletcheFS CastOria
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
A Bit Personal.

He-I think Wigglebee is the worst
dancer in the room.
She-Hush, you forget yourself.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

ParadoxlcaI Result.
What's the matter with my labor
theories?"
They won't work"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

who was the first lightning calca
lator?"
Ben Franklin and his kite"
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15

States. 1t has been estimated by fish
experts in the employ of the govern
ment that epidemics among infant fish
at government hatcheries cost more
than $l,OOO,OOO a year. These epidem-
les usually occur among fish less than
SIX months of age, and the damage
worked by disease is greatly increased
when the adult value of the fish is
taken into consideration.
For $2,5OO year, officials of the
bureau say they can obtain the serv-
Ices Of a fish pathologist. whose train.
The Southern herald., 1915-01-15
Fish Doctor Wanted for Government Hatcheries

has by bureau of fisheries of bs
department OF commerce for appropriation annually to cover
salary of family physician domese fishes of the United
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1915-02-13
County Normal Notes.

Miss Cora Driggett, Miss Rose Groen-
ink Miss Clare Thorsen and Mr.. Fred
Gregory began their observation work
in preparation for their practice teach
ing, this week.
Miss Mae Stewart visited the norma
room Wednesday afternoon.
Miss Cleo Thorne and Mr.. Ward
Genet were absent from school
Wednesday on account Of illness.
The House of Representatives which
the normal class organized held a de-
bate last Thursday. The question was,
Resolved that the bill providing for
the bounty on English sparrows be re-
pealed" Miss Bessie Allen and Miss
Ruby Hooker debated on the affirm
alive; Miss Clare Thorsen and Miss
Rose Groenink on the negative. The
question was then voted on, which re-
suited in six yeas and seven nays.
The normal class attended the
leacnerS institute al Boyne City last
Tuesday. They arrived late but heard
several fine addresses given by Mr..
Brown of M. A. c., Professor Mas
selinck of Ferris Institute and Judge
Harris of Boyne City. There was no
afternoon session owing to the fact
that Mr. Pattengill was unable to at
tend. The class attended the Farmers
Institute in the afternoon and heard
another interesting talk by Mr.. Brown
on "Legumes.
Miss Marie Lamiman and Miss Gladys
Waterman were absent from school
Monday on account of illness.
Miss Frances Richardson visited the
normal room Friday afternoon.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1915-02-13
AFTER MANY YEARS

j. L. Southers, Eau Claire, Wis,
writes: "Years ago wrote you in re-
gard to great results | obtained from
Foley Kidney Pills. After all these
years | have never had a return Of
those terrible backaches or sleepless
nights am permanently cured" Men
and women, young and old, find this
reliable remedy relieves rheumatism,
backache, stiff joints and ills caused by
weak or diseased kidneys or bladder
Hites Drug Store.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1915-02-13
WHEN THE TIRED
. MOTHER GIVES OUT
What Then?-The Family Suf.
fers, the Poor Mothers SUI,
fer-Mrs. Becker Meetl
This Distressing Situation.

Collinsville, I'LL suffered from o
nervous break down and terrible head
aches, and was tired all over, totally
worn out and too discouraged to enjoy
life, but as / had four in family and
sometimes eight or nine boarders, kept
on working despite my suffering.
saw Vinol advertised and decided
to try it, and within two We ks l
noticed decided improvement - ny
condition and now am well * y.ly. 7"
Mrs. ANA BECKER, Collinsville, IL.
There are hundreds of nervous, run
down, overworke ed women in this vicinity
who are hardly able to drag around and
who we are sure would be wonderfully
benefited by Vinol as Mrs. Becker was.
The reason Vinol is so successful in
building up health and strength in such
cases is because it combines the medici-
nal tissue building and curative elements
of Gods livers together with the blood
making, strengthening properties of
tonic iron. We ask every weak, ner-
vous, rundown man or woman in this
vicinity to try bottle of Vinol on our
guarantee to return their money if it
fails to benefit.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1915-02-13
SEVENTY SEVEN YEARS OLD.

George w. Clough, Prentiss, Miss,
who had suffered greatly with kidney
trouble, writes: Foley Kidney Pills
are the only remedy that ever did me
any good at ALL" Just think of the relief
and comfort that means to him. Foley
Kidney Pills are recommended for
sleep disturbing bladder troubles, pain
in sides or back, rheumatism, and
kidney and bladder ailments.-Hites
Drug Store.