The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1915-01-07
:. SALMACUNDI :.
By Uncle Goshdingit : 1868


teen-fifteen flatten it's nose against the
Mirror office window the morning
following New Years day and won
dered why it slipped us the wink
and pointed TO a large bundle it was
carrying. We made dive to open
the door to give it lift with the
bundle and ask it to come in a while
and rest a minute. But as we got
to the door and peered out, we were
just too late to be OF service with
our eager welcome-for we thot the
bundle contained something good to
eat; for eats is our long suit in the
game of doing time'-and caught
but fleeing glimpse of it as it
wobbled and staggered around the
corner of the corridor leaving a
. trail of wet splashes as of prespira-
tion--or tears-in it's wake.
We had almost forgotten the in
cident amid the rush and crush of our
allotted task, when with wan look
it staggered unannounced into our
Office and collapsed into a chair.
Yes, / saw you beckon a kindly
invitation to stop a moment as / pas
sed;" it said, in answer to our ques-
tioning gaze. "Bnt you see l had
an errand to the dump. You saw
that bundle? Yes? Well that was
a bundle of New Year resolutions
There's still dozen or more bun
dies of the same size to join the one
that you just saw venting. Why
are they doomed to the crematory
at the dump where last years as
sortment of bright and shiney New
Years resolutions were burned, you
ask? Well, it's because they're
bogus and mostly consist of pure
rhetoricl finn fam, that's why.
They all harp on one string.
They all acclaim, resolve and prom
Use to do things foreign to the pre-
sent atoning servitude; every gosh
ding one 'em swear on their honor
as to what they are going to do
AFTER they get out"
Well, but aren't there any a.
mong all those bales of self-promis-
es that are genuine-some that ring
true?" asked the bald and long
necked Typo that butts into this
column with an assurance that de-
serves leather medal. Yes" said
Nineteenth fifteen, Strengthening up
from its attitude of detection, and a
smile twinkling in its eyes; there
was one little package, written on
brown wrapping paper, that caught
my attentention. and which | res
cued because it looked out Of place
among all those gilt and dekle- edged
and beribboned engrossures. Yes.
Pm going to have it framed, be-
cause the resolution scrawled upon
it doesn't diplay that concelted ego
tism manifested by the others, it
doesn't promise the impossible or
intend to reform itself into an angel
with a bunch of lilly-like virtues,
but hits straight from the shoulder
that means businest with a big B.
1t promises to get busy at building
it's temple of reformation right on
the premises, and isn't going TO lay
off and wait until release is gained.
but is going to get out and from
under to-day-NOW!
The New Year has brought with
it the annual resolves to rehabilitate
the errors of the past with the ear.
nest longings to do better in future.
Many of our fellow-inmates look
hopefully forward to what possibili-
ties the New Year holds for them.
Others view the future with help
less dread to possible failure of
their hopes-with a lurking fear
that they will not find the Great
Outside friendly to them. To the
latter we would like to say: Be
self-reliant; you don't need brass
band to meet you at the prison
portal to welcome you back to the
Outside life; get rid of that yellow;
put sand on the track open wide
the throttle and go to it, as if you
meant business. That will get you
over the hills of temptation aud dis
couragement. All the sympathy
and charity in the world will not
help you if you 60 out without an
armor of self-reliance.
Did you ever notice that there are
81 varieties of sympathy and char
ity? There's the kind that snuffles
and ahems mostly ahems' and
says: Pm so sorry. When did you
eat last? And you need clothing?
'Ahem:' oh. do 80 sympathize!