davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01

Ma had lady trend up to The house
last mite that was a suffryget. Her
naim was Missus Blake & her husband
was with her, too, but he dident say
q word all eevning except, yes deer.
He cud say that so%patural that / thot
maybe he was all the time saying. 1t.
The reason we wimmen want the
ballot sed Missus Blake, Is beekaus
the laws witch the men has made
dosent favor the wimmen at all.
Is that SO? sed pa. think you are
mistaken.
beg yure pardon, sed Missus Blake.
it is you who are rong. Am 1 not
rite, Henry?
Yes, deer, sed Mister Blake.
Wimmen is exemp from military
duty. sed pa, & from jury duty. How
about them two laws, made by men?
Yes, sed Missus Blake, but thay
want to be -on the juries. & thay
praise thare boys to be solgers.
A married woman is not obliged to
contribute to the support OF her fam
bly,, no matter how welthy she is, sed
pa. Men made that law, too, & she
may own reel & personal property &
dispose of it without her husbands
consent. Men made that law, too, sed
pa, while thay also made the law that
wen a man owns reel or personal
property he cannot dispose of it with
out his wife's consent. Think that
oaver, sed pa.
doant care to git into ragument,
do deer, sed Missus Blake. know
am rite.
Yes, deer, sed Mister Blake.
Thare isent going to be much argu;
meut to this, sed pa. Heer is a other
man-made law: A married man must
pay his wife's bills. She is not to be
made to pay his, eeven for the support
of the family, eeven II he is sic &
she is well G well fixed in her own
rite. & II she gifts a deevorce from
him thru sum fault of his, he has got
to kick in with the alimSny reglar
every week or go to Jail, & she newer
has to pay him any alimony IL he gifts
deevorce from her. Are you follow
ing me, sed pa.
l am not much interested in what
you say, .sed Missus Blake.
& another man-made law is this, sed
pa: She may be worth nilyuns in
her own mummy & she can cut him It
| without cent but he cannot cut her
off without her one-third dover rite.
The weeker sex gifts lot OF the eesier
sailing according to that, sed pa.
Thay are nit the weeker sex, sed
| Missus Blake. Wimmen is the strong
er sex, aren't thay, Henry.
Yes, dear, sed Mister Blake.
Yes, / guess thay are in sNu fam
| blies, sed pa. l know that in my
household have always figgered that
my wife was the weeker, the one that
] loved & wanted to support & help.
& l cud go on & tell you lot of moar
laws made by men to help & protect
wimmen, but doant want to quarl
In closing will meerly state, sed pa.
that 1t is a good thing for you gals
that US boys is hanging around.
This morning wen Pa was reddy to
go to the office he sed to Ma; Well,
good by deer, how do you feel.
feel fierce, sed Ma, have awful
he'd axe, o deer, me, sed Ma. wud
that l cud perish.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01

There Are Too Many Gerr,s In Water.
Dear Luke-You have this to say:
ENOUGH IS PLENTY.
Lives of great men oft remind US
That we should control thirst
And, departing, leave behind us
This fair warning. Safety first"
But it should read as follows:
Lives of great men should remind Us
OF this warning, Safety first -
VIII Luke strive and some time help us
Cultivate a Safety thirst?"
Cleveland, o.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
The aynIax MinutraI..

Mr.. Interlocutor, can you tell me
why bald head always reminds you
OF heavens?
mo, Mr.. Bones, cannot. Will you
tell US why?'
Because It is bright and shining
spot and there's no parting there"
after the police have dubbed the
audience into Inconsistencies Mr.. Russ
T. Pypes will render that pathetic bal
lad, Your Breath Is Strong. My Oar
ling. But My Love Is Growing Weak
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
She Mlsunderstoo,i.

There is one thing wish TO say to
you. The last girl had habit OF
coming into the parlor and playing
the piano occasionally. You never
play the piano, do your" New Do
mestic-'Yis. mum, I play; but I'll
hev to charge yer half dollars week
extry IL am to furnish music for the
family"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Well, What's tho Difference?

Editor Rountree OF Texas announces
that the Temple badger farm is as
bleak and bald as Judd Mortimer Lew
is head. Indeed. it must be cold
bleak and naked place then.-Luke Nc
Luke in Cincinnati Enquirer
We can't figger out whether Lee said
that because we came to Texas or
Luke said it because we left Ohio, but
we don't care. They're gettin' us con
founded with Rody McPhee. Judd
Lewis in Houston Post.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Remembered rhat.

Jock Robinson, having been making
merry with some boon companions.
finally took his leave and got aboard
street car. Soon he was fast asleep.
but was finally aroused by the com
ductor calling Robinson streetin
Sleepy and befuddled. Jock made an
swer, "It's>no. Itreated last tins"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Changed the Formula.

1lr Paul Taylor. London magistrate,
has Improved upon the time.honored
formula addressed to prisoners who
are obviously innocent-''You leave
the court without q stain on your char
setter In a case before him recently
he assured . defendant that he would
ieAve the court with as good char
setter as when no entered It"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Wantad n samnia.

Your honor" said the foreman of
the jury, this body is suing this gent
for $4,000 for stolen kiss" Cor
rect" responded the Judge. You are
to decide If It was worth it." That's
the point, your honor. Could the jury
have q sampler"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Huh!

I'm sick and tired OF this stun that
you cook every meal" growled Mr..
Gabb as he sat down to the dinner Ia
BILE. my doctor tells me that should
eat more fish and other brain building
foods"
VERY WE'LL" sweetly responded Mrs.
Gabb. I'll order a dozen OF whales
tomorrow
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Woopa.

There was an old fellow named wynne
Who drank too much bitterS and gynne.
He took adelight
In getting SO tight
That he could observe tho world spynne.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Paw knews Everxthina.

Willie-Paw, what is critic?
Paw-A critic is a man who can
show you how you could have done a
thing differently without showing you
how you could have done it better, my
son.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Uncle Ehen.

Uncle Ebea.
do man dat wastes his time brag-
GIN" said Uncle Eben. els like an
ingtne dat uses mp all his steam On
de whistle"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
WuHI

The COW said: What have you for sals7
What Is that stun so blue and pale?"
''why, that In mills" the miIkman said,
And then the poor old COW dropped dead
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Another Fatal Flasr

Another Fatal Flash.
Here's another fatal flash" for Luke
McLuke:
Didn't hide
Tablets bichloride
Slow ride.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Bits Of Byplay
By Luke MeLuIe
copyrtsht. 1915, sho-canoannas.
Enquirer
Fact.

Fact.
Old opportunity won't blum.
He takes your chance and frees Il:
And he II wise who knows enough
To seize It when he sees It.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01
Namea LIS Nanea,

Names Is Names.
Miss lima Hyden lives at Rich
mond, Va.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01

Things to Worry About. .-
John d. Rockefeller's income is $40 u
minute.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01

Our Daily Special.
With some men cleanliness is next to
impossible.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-01

This morning wen Pa was reddy to
go to the office he sed to Ma, Well,
good by deer, how do you feel.
feel fierce, sed Ma, have awful
he'd axe, o deer, me, sed Ma. wud
that l cud perish.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
German Helmets
Rare Trophies

Correspondence of the Associated Press }
GENERAL HEADQUARTERS. british
army. France, May l0-German helmets.
notwithstanding the thousands of Ger
mans who have. been killed. wounded and
captured, sare still rare trophies at the
british front. There are two chief rea-
sons for this.
The first is that the Germans OF late
have been wearing. caps; the second that
the dead and wounded between the lines,
on whom most Of the helmets are to be
found, are In no mans land. where 1t is
almost sure death to venture.
The British soldier appreciates that
these helmets are bringing fancy prices
in Paris. London and New York and he
is Ioath to part with any trophy except
for a good sum. A regular clearing
house for them has been established and
hundreds are being sent to England for
sale to dealers and others.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
WAR ZONE ACTUAL
CHARMED FIELD
ED Burgess Nash-Better Service Convenience Courtesy
Thousands of Bodies of Men Killed
in Battle Strewn Through the
Marshes Of the Saint Gond.
COMING OF PESTnENCE FEARED


Correspondence of the Associated Press.)
PARIS. April 22.-"Seven months after
the beginning of the retreat OF the Ger
mans says DR.. Dolly. deputy for the
Department of the Ardennes. "unburied
dead are being found on the battlefield
OF the Marine. In the center OF a village
on the banks of the Marine, where the
sanitary department was clearing away
the debris It brought to light a body that
was beyond Identification. either as Ger
man. or French.
Hundreds, IL not thousands, OF bodies
are supposed to be lying more or less
submerged in the ST. Gond Marshes
who're the. Prussian guard was thrown
beck, it having had neither the time nor
the means to save those who fell there
In order to avoid the pestilential' effects
of warm weather on the unburied corpses.
Dr. Dolly thinks It viii be necessary to
explore the entire swampy region with
the aid of dogs. g." r.t p
Bodies in Wells and Springs.
Bodies are also being found constantly
under british in bitches. and abandoned
trenches. They are found not only in
bitches, trenches and excavations made
by Shells but I'm wells springs and alt
the little streams of the region Ia many
places where it was possible to bury
their dead, bodies we're insuffioiently COW
cred with earth and were frequently
buried in too close proximity to sources
OF water supply.
These conditions exist over zone 80
miles long and from ten to forty miles
wide. with total Of from 5000 to G.OOO
Hpf
part of which required thorough disinfec-
ton to prevent the outbreak of epidemics.
Besides the bodies Of men, there were in
.this zone thousands of bodies Of animals,
Part of them killed by shell fire and many
OF them dead from starvation, having
been abandoned by the fleeing pbpula-,
ton. u.s.. ,'..t., "a
This vast work of siisinfection is well,
under way Ar the debris from bonn.
barded buildings. is Being cleared away
and the ground saturated with a solution
Of lime. The floors of every building
that has been occupied by troops, either
German or French. are being scraped,
then washed in q solution of hot. water
and carbonate, Of soda while the walls
are all newly whitewashed. Wherever any
odor remains after. these precautions have
been taken more drastic measures are re-
sorted to;sin some cases the building is
burned
All yards and gardens around buildings
that have sheltered troops are spripkled
with chloride Of lime. All rwells and
springs are thoroughly cleaned and the
use of the water prohibited until analysis
shows it to be absolutely unpolluted.
The authorities have also to solve the
serious problem of sheltering the popula-
ton that is glroaqnaally- returning ~ the,
100 inhabitants, that was .almost. COM
pletely destroySa! 80 ShGtes alfsSdy We
turned and are living mostly in the cell
lars OF demolished houses, and Tdnder
conditions that constitute a menEce6 to
health almost as serious as the presence
of unburied, or insufficienbys buried
dead bodtes.s.s l.. 80 - oeo-r--ss
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
Princess Juliana
Starts to School

Correspondence of the Associated Press.)
THE HAGUE, Netherlands. May 10
Princess JuIiana only child OF Queen
Wilhelmina and Prince Henry. her con-
sort, began her schooling on her sixth
birthday. April 30. The queen has decided
TO have a regular school class composed
OF childzOn OF the same age belonging to
aristocratic Dutch families. and during
the studies no difference is to be made
between the princess and the other chill
drCn.
Only one reservation has been made by
the queen and that is that the religious
instruction OF the princess shall be left
entirely 10 her majesty
The little princess is becoming a pro-
ficient linguist and the utmost attention
Il, being given to this branch Of her edu-
cation. She has frequent conversation
lessons from governesses speaking Fren n,
German and English
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
Wives Of the Men !.
At the Front Are
Organizing Army

LIVERBo0Gs, May 1O.-An army OF
women. 1000 strong, is quietly drilling at
Liverpool. = It. s-;eomposed of soldiers
and sailors wives who are tired of sit
ting idly at home, thinking of their alb
sent husbands.
The commanding officer Is Miss Phyllis
Lowell. The government plans to enroll
some Of the women as orderlies in local
hospitalss
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
Germany Buy. Much Cotton.

Correspondence Of the Associated Press
AMSTERDAM. April 2-,relegram from
Gothenburg, Sweden, to the Berlin Tsse-
blatt states that the harbor OF Gothen-
burg is overcrowded with cotton steamers
or their way from America 10 Germany.
over 10000 bales Of cotton have passed
through Gothenburg Tor Germany since
the beginning Jf the war.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

Long Cloth, iO-Yard Bolt,
ut b0c.
Old Glory long cloth, soft
finish. no dressing, 10
yard pieces the bolt, each.
at ....,... ........ Doc
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
t2hc Dress Ginghams at Sc

t2hC Dress Ginghams at Sc
Real Seal Ginghams are the best OF all stand
ard makes, The colorings are warranted, a
variety OF patterns that will please you.
Thousands OF yards on sale, at yard 81. DC
Indian Head Suiting nj 15c
Dresses and frooks made from Indian Head
have all the beauty of linen without its ten
dency TO wrinkle easily, white and every
wanted plain color, all are 80 inches wide.
The genuine Indian Head for Monday, at,
yard ......... ............... .1Sc
Fancy lawns and BauStes at 3iSc
Fancy figured lawns and black and white
striped batietes, ON sale in 3 TO lO-yard
lengths, at, yard .....,.............. .Sia e
BleAched Muslins Monday at 54c
True Blue and other bleached muslins that
are one yard wide. Firm quality, the right
weight for general family use. equal to
Lonsdale, etc. On sale Monday. yard . sac
BurGesR-Nash 0o-1conomy Basement
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

1Dc White Flaxon Monday
ut tOc yard.
White flaxon corded crepe
novelties. "a ms. wide,
usually ice. Monday, the
yard ....-. ....... Zoe
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

15C White Persian Lawns,
nj 7ISc
White Persian lawn, sheer
and crisp, As ins. wide, 15o
value. Monday, yd. ..75Sc
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

12lSc and t5c tc-Dimity -NIulls, 7lsc
A great variety OF patterns, light medium
and dark colored grounds with figures. dots
stripes, floral and conventional designs.
Plenty of the desirable black and white eff
fects. The widths are - to 2S ms Price = ~
20c Woven Part silk Tissues, i5c
Woven from silk and the finest Egyptian cot
ton, The colorings are beautiful. every want
ed stripe, check and small plaids are TO be
found. The lengths are just right for waists
and dresses, A very desirable half silk wash
fabric, at, yard ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. tSc
Fast color Blue Apron Bingham at 3&c
Even and broken checks, one grade under
Amoskeag. sale price from the bolt. yd. sac
35c silk Chiffons at Zoe Yard
Pretty floral and black and white effects that
are bright, fresh and new. The same fabric
would sell elsewhere at 35c yard. Sale price
Monday, yard OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 1Oc
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

battles are being won
with the spade. II il the same
with gardening campaigns, tho
winning spades are here. Base
ment)
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

There's peace in the air, per-
haps. There's flies in the air.
unquestionably; all the munitions
for fly war are ready. basement
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

1T WILL BE A LAZY MANS
JOB IL you get the right lawn
mower your lawn will need
only the once over. Basement
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

-"COL. BOGEY" seems to be
quite at home among the new
golf clubs. balls and accessor-
les In the Sporting Goods store.
(Fourth Floor)
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

WEAR A QUESTION MARK
IN YOUR HAIRi Stone set
question marks are the latest
for women's hair. They are very
popular, too. MAIN F1oorD
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

soc Fancy Ratine at 24c
Fancy ratlne In mixtures
and assorted shades, the
usual SOC kind. Monday
at. yard ..........-.2 4c
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

SLID Bolt Nainsook, 10 Yards, S1.19
4O-inch Knickerbocker Nainsook 10-yard
bolts, right weight and finish for warm
weather wear. &1.75 values On sale, at.
I5c White Poplin Monday at INC -.f
White poplu. 81 inches wide, for separate
skirts or suits, usually 15c. Mon, yd. INC
SOC SILK and Cotton ShirtinGs, Soc
Beautiful selection OF new stripes in a wide
range OF colorings, 80 FMS wide. Usual soc
quality, at, yard ...s...... s...-. .SSc
25c Washable Tissue Monday, I0c
Splendid selection OF new stripes and. checks,
good range OF colors, % ins. wide; usually
Csc, at, yard ...........,.t. 49,. 15c
zoe White Novelty Goods, t2hc
White novelties, fancy weaves also plain
sheer materials for waists or dresses, SO
inches wide: usually 25c yard. Monday. the
yard .....ss.. -. .ss@s- lS1sc
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16

10c Nainsook, 12-lard
Bolt, zoe
English nainsook. SO ms.
wide, specially soft finish,
12-yard pieces; usually
loo yard; by the bolt,
only .......H........7Oc
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
OVER THE
COFFEE CUPS

THE JUNE bride who wishes
to keep her dining room table
as polished and perfect as It Is
now will welcome the asbestos
dish mats. MAIN F1oor.)
Omaha daily bee., 1915-05-16
BURGEss-NAsH STORE NEWS FOR MONDAY
PHONE DOUGLAS 1877
Thousands of Yards of the Seasons Most Desirable Wash
Goods From the Observation-Disclosures Stock of ST. Louis
the Basement Monday Way Below the Regular Price

HE N
goods to GU is emrk buying advantage
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-01-12
TRUCKERS ELECT
OFFICERS FOR YEAR

Bay Minette, January 11.-(Special.
Ferhaps the most enthusiastic as we'll
as the most largely attended me,tine
Of the farmers and truckers of this
piace that has ever been held since
the bay Minette Truckers association
ras been organized was held Satur
cay AFTERNOON in the courthouse, at
which time an election of officers for
thls year took place. The new Off
GERS are Fred C. Hall, president: l.. A.
Riley. secretary; w. d. Stapleton,
treasurer, and John W. Mum, secretary
and business manager
The new officers have in mind the
complete reorganization of the associa
lion and its incorporation. The papers
VIII be drawn up shortly and filed with
the probate Judge. At the meeting
about 30 new farmers who have settled
here this winter became members of
The association, making the number
how exceeding 100 members The re-
view OF last years business by the
former president and secretary was
found to be much in advance of the pre-
vfous year despite the financial depres-
sion. The outlook for this year is ex-
cellent and already two full carloads
of seed Irish potatoes have been or
dered for the members of the asso-
citation for their spring crop.
1t is also planned to make the local
organization cooperate with other
similar organizations in this county
until the entire county is bound to-
gether in one large selling and growing
organization.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1915-01-12
SOME SAFETY MEASURES
AND WHAT THEY MEAN

I jingly phone TO the shades of retire
| ment.
Due to. universal reading. an undiscov-
cred thought is as rare as hens teeth.
| People think in chorus. as they sing in
! church.
| The Individual word is the group word.
| The mind reaching out to new thoughts
| rebels against having to hear the verse
of the chorus repeated by a single singer
Folk generally are like a man who
complained of his seclusion being intruded
upon by relative upon the score that she
could tell him nothing he did not already
know.
A modest estimate of self. but It is easy
to understand what he meant.
He read every blessed thing in sight,
and thinking bored him, because It gave
him nothing new.
Being scholar, he disdained local trivi-
alities.
Many folk plead excessive business to
avoid conversation.
The surgeon under high nervous tension
carts In and out of the sick room as
though pursued.
1t isn't always a mad professional rush
by any means which is the pursuer.
either.
His haste oftfmes is only the outward
and visible manifestation of his unwill-
ingness to enter into a conversation.
He is like the man of a friend who was
recently approached with the polite in
quiry:
''Have you time to let mo ask you a few
questions?'
No. have not was the reply. What
is that you want to ask me? I"
And when she would have retired with
her question unspoken, insisted that he
be Informed of their nature.
Like Mr.. Otis Skinner in Goodman's
drama, '"The Silent Voice." it looks as
though folk must be deaf before they
can. nowadays, bear to listen to 1.-The
Silent Voice" or any other voice without
Irritation.
1t is the nervous fad Of the hour, this
Willingness to play the role of listener"
and believe 1t or not, as you will, woman
Kind the more silent we are the safer
we are" SO far as people are concerned.
Yes, sir, Gilbert was right, as he always
is, when he uttered those prophetic few
words.
II the debutantes of 1915 will only coun-
terfeit the speechlessness of the deaf and
dumb. they will doubtless be regarded az
just a little lower than the angels.