davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

1t was Enos Hopkins who got the
idea that Sand Hill should prove her
patriotism to the world at large by
displayin' the American flag for seven
days week. He got the idea one
sunday mornln' as he lay in bed, and
he Rugged 1t to his soul and chuckicd
10y his actions tiEat somethiu' was up.
hut they couldn't fgGer out whether
he was plannin' TO stamp Wilson'S face
rolls of butter.
At length. when saturday night
came. and there was the usual crowd
at the postoffice, he shot off his gun.
He had his speech all prepared. He
told how the American flag was first
flung TO the breeze--how men cheered
for liberty, as they saw it-how it
had given happiness to millions. Men
had fought cheerin' for that flag, and
men had died blessin il. He wanted
every day in the year and he wanted
children to cry for it and men and
women to venerate it: Monday, was
wash day in town, and front yards and
back yards made a beautiful shown
of sheets and shirts and towels and
tablecIoths. but above them all would
fiop and flap the flag which had COW
cred the heroes of Bunker Hill as they
died in the cause of liberty
AS soon as the crowd had recovered
Deacon Black said ~ was mlgnr~
strong pint and one worthy of a
leadin' patriot of Sand Hill. He was
heartily in favor of the idea. and he
would then and there contribute Is
cents toward the purchase of a public
flag. He also thought vote of thanks
due Enos for his cuteness in
thinkin' out the idea. A happin', flop
pn' flag h'isted to the halmy breezes
would give the town worldly fame
and probably result in a boom.
GRANDPA ther had died Will fghtin'
under the Stars and Stripes. His faith
er had fallen and killed himself while
climbin' a fag-pole. His mother had
wrapped him in the flag of liberty
when he was born. and he had long
thought of havin' n group of stars tat
,ooed between his shoulders He loved
his wife and children, and he set a
heap of value on his hoss and cow.
hut he loved the flag of his country
more. It was hard times and money
was tight. but he would go without
tobacco for a month in order to con-
tribute shillin' toward the purchase
of a flag. With his own hands. IL
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
A MerciLess Thunderbolt

hand coal-black horse. with flow
ing name and tail-a perfect model.
with a blazing white star or spot, was
so white by contrast that we at first
believed il to be some artificial mark
He came laundering down straight
upon us until about two hundred feet
away. when he swerved to the left
with n snort of alarm and ran across
the valley. Our horses were hobbled
behind the tent. and as one of them
neighed welcome to the stranger he
came galloping back. The sight of
human beings was no novelty to him.
He came within a hundred feet this
time, and then stopped suddenly and
reared up and snorted and paved the
air. No one thought of doing him
harm, but every one settled down to
enjoy the sight. After a moment the
horse began circuit about three
times as large as circus ring. And
for half an hour he pranced. trottled,
cantered and galloped IL he carried
circus rider on his back who de-
sired to show off his PAGES With
head held proudly erect-with name
flying on the breeze he created-with
tail sweeping the flowers as he moved.
he presented such picture of an
al
and again. Now he rushed around the
circle he had marked out as If under
the whip and spur, of a jockey-now
and shook his head in playful way
and challenged us to catch him. Our
horses neighed and snorted and
ious to enjoy his freedom. and one
would have thought that he was
haunting them with their bondage;
watch his antics, we became aware
that cloud was rising of the prai-
RE. 1t came up, seemingly from the
hand. and even as IL climbed up the
horizon 1t grew in size very slowly.
At sea it would have been called an
OF rain. in it, and it had that ugly
green look in 1t which tells of =
bolt or two of lightning stored up to
had no fear, however. and had turn
ed again to the horse when he stop
ped his , play ,s and turned to face the
his ears worked back and forth and
his eyes fairly blazed with excitement
as as he =, i II ID. bis RICH. fore leg and
cloud and the horse uttered a snort
of defiance. wheeled around two or
three times and suddenly reared up
until we thousht he would go over
Crash; Crack, There was a fash
which blinded us-a shock which
for thirty seconds no one moved or
spoke: Then We struggled up confused
and bewildered. to see the gallant
horse lying prone on the grass We
went out to him and saw that he was
Guiyering in the agonies OF death. The
white spot on his forehead had dis.
appeared-scorched and withered by
the thunderbolt which had aimed for
IL and found the target
We could have shot him down az
he gamboled In front of us, but we
would not even raise a stick to fright
en- him. The thunderbolt had been
merciless-and more: II had selected
one Of natures noblest types OF ani-
mai life for ite victim and omoto hin
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
HE FLOATED AWAY.

A typical dude entered a hotel bar
the other afternoon and called for q
PONY" of beer. When II was showed at
him he carefully poured all but a
tumberful into a cuspidor. and then
drank the contents, with evident relish
walked over to the toothpick holder
which contained about fifty splints.
Drawing a gentle cigarette from his
pocket he proceeded to scratch each
succession until the very last one was
reached. As fast as he scratched them
he flung them on the floor. and when
lor match from his vest pocket raked
IL along the sole of his shoe and ap-
piled the flame to his cigarette with
a smile of satisfaction.
"P-i-i-i-s-h!" Missed the barkeeper,
who had been watching him.
And the dude hoated out Of the door
feather blown ON the wings of SUM
mer breexe ssss Z Z 8 S = Z =:
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

Oar am times when I wanter keep
quiet" said Uncle Ras;us. and dar
ia de woods and sot down on log
an talk a heap TO myself"
Il may be right or I may he wrong.
but 1t does me a heap o good to talk
II oher wild myself
L wouldn't gin cent fur de man
who quotes old proverbs an adopts
r eGeP2 man to hold his an p HSe
an he who am content 10 let some
me else hold it must be satisfied wild
p oo' am IN low ioW down dat al I had to pick
rags. | would have my own maxims
an notices. Instead Of sayin' Don't
:oday.' would have 1t: Now. ole man:
YOU git right up'n dust an sling mo-
rags dis week dan any odder chap
kin in a month De odde- day 1 met
about sixty vars old. an about as
hard up a woodchuck in a bars
grip. | axed de ole man how he was
keepin up wild de pursheshun. an he
replied:
Wall. ize mighty hard up. but dey
say II am long lane dat has no turn.
Just fink of an ole man wild one No.
10 in dc grave waitin' fur a turn in
lie lane 10 bring him heaps TO eat an
OTIS to war! Al frew life he has car.
led dat second han sayin' wild him. an
am yet believer in il. Why didn't he
nab one of his own? II he had said,
rorty vars ago; "Doan foller any lane.
he arter him today. man who hes
lie will TO make motto hes de pluck
TO make il a success.
Buckle down TO bizness. am a bet
,er motto dan any book kin give We.
''whar' am Cicero? In de vars gone
by de world cheered at his name.
When he recommended any makers
liver pills dem pills war considered
boss. when he acted as judge at
loss race no man dared appeal When
he entered a street kyar everybody
hitched along. When he rode out in
his keeridge, butcher-carts turned
pale and took a back street. De news
piauded him. an de banks fairly ached
10 cash his checks. But whar' am he
today? His sweet song am silent, his
name am forgotten except by de few
:whar am Plato? Ask EN- at de
en- at de depots an a shake of de
head viii tell de sad story. Gone.
Zone, When he crossed de Rubicon de
world Numbered with applause. When
When he wrote Paradise Lost de
world wept- But he am passed away.
an he faded. an only now an den.
as YOU see a game of dominos, do you
a'ar his memory referred TO.
DE student of. anatomy carves up
, cadaver to diskiver how de bones am
put togedder-whar de muscles. lie
wise Teller studies de Twin, stead Of
lie dead-de mind stead of de body.
De human mind am full Of cons. Tread
On one OF 'em, an dar' am back
sckshun at once. II i should want
| should slip ober an ak Deakun
jackson fur IL His big con am de be-
lief dat no one kin be saved onless
he am baptized in de riber. an ] have
been keerful to walk aroun' dat con.
I go ober to his house wild q jug o.
eider In one hand an baptismal argy-
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

There ere some wives who weep and
| some husbands who are sad.
wear but NJ. BOwsers sad streaks
come oftencr than that.
He gets mp in the morning after a re-
freshing sleep, He tucks away hearty
breakfast
He sort of hints that the cooks wages
ought 10 he raised.
He even gives the cat a CHEEKY word
as he is ready TO go.
lie enters his Office briskly. feeling that
it is good TO he alive. bat within an hour
a sadness begins to steal over him. Moth
ing whatever is right. and he is being
made to suffer. There is selishness on
every hand and he is being made to real
: lie that he is a martyr from way back
When he came home the other evening
Mrs. Bowser and the cat were looking
out of the front window. They saw him
drop OFF the street car at the corner, and
they knew that something had occurred
to put him out. He came along down the
walk with scuff! scuff: scuff! his head
down and his back bumped up, and Mrs
Bowser sighed and the cat uttered a
meow. He scuffcd up the steps, unlock
ed the door in an uncertain way, and
there was no longer any doubt of what
would happen.
Mrs Bowser greeted him pleasantly
| but he had nothing to say. She led the
way down to the dining-rOom. and he
followed without word. She had few
little extras for dinner. but he hardly
tasted the meal He would sip at his
coffee. and sigh: then he would take
mouthfu of potato and sigh some more;
then he would look fixedly at the beef
steak and the tears almost started from
his eyes.
Mrs. BoNser was not alarmed She
had seen just such fits before. She knew
what would happen as soon as they
reached the sitting room. but she did not
let II interfere with her appetite. AL
though he SaZed AT her with reproaches
in his looks. she chartered away about
trifes until the meal was finished and
didn't seem to motto" that he wasn't en-
jnying himself. II WAS only when they
had GOT seated for the evening that she
asked
Has anything gone wrong with you
today. Mr.. Rowser?''
You are the one who ought to know"
he sterny replied. as he turned on her.
why. how should I know. DEAR
Perhaps you will tell me what YOU
call that" he said az he produced a
hairbrush and slammed it down on the
able at her elbow.
It's n hairbrush, and 1t looks like the
one you've had for the last six months"
so it is. but where did ! find 1t this
morning when | took the car and went
to get out my handkerchief? I ask you
where | found it? l ask You to ina CINE
the smiles and giggles of the passengers
as I drew it from my pocket.'
That is just like you. After brush
ing your hair this morning you put the
brush in your pocket Mr.. Bowser. you
must break yourself of being so absent
minded
And yet YOU my wife-the woman
who should look after me-let me go
away with that brush in my pocket, You
didn't care a tinkcrs funk. Mrs. Bow
ser whether I went away with hair
brush or a handkerchief in my pocket.
That's YOUR wifely love and care for me.
If you had been on the street car when
l pulled it out and wiped my mouth on
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
CASEY, THE COP
He Rescues a Kidnapped Girl.

Wasn't it you that had thrilling
adventure with kidnappers few
years ago. / asked Casey the Cop. as
! he came out of a free lunch place to
! pa troll his beat with me.
don't know as you could call it a
! thrilling adventure. sir. was his mod
! est reply.
'But the papers gave you two col
umns about it,.
! Yes. but the papers run to sensa
ton, you know. have known of their
( making a double-!caded column of a
lamp-post blowing up.
a brave man. You are n gallant man.
You stand ready to peril your life
at any moment in the line of duty.
| You had I thrilling adventure with
! you must give me the story in all it's
| particulars There must be no hold
ing back OF anything ,..
he asked.
! Not if 1t makes you out the bravest
man in ten thousand"
We'll, I'll give II to you. sir, but
no photographs go with it at this late
head on it
| Mr. Casey drew long breath.
glanced around TO see II murderer
was in sight, aad began:
Il was on my beat. and vigilant as
missioner wanted TO see me instanter.
! was before him in thirty minutes,
| and he was saying:
! casey. Inc police force is to be dis
h, nded as inc6mpetent.-
.RuI tha; don't hit me. sir" [ re-
pIied
THAT is trlc- and | thank heaven
fo- IL Rrt rnr Won, ia lie in the black
est Jisnair
Has snnc rich woman lost her
ffte.n-cent noodle dog. sir. and are
len Thousand men 10 lose their Jobs
! 'on,,,uo IT, Iort n,rnot he fonnd
III ia aimos, as had as that. casey.
A nron,ineut Young Ia.iV has been kid :
named aud il beiI,r held for ransom -
INA y.i,t suu, do they ask TO re-
store her IN ,he bosom of her family?
IN eveH million dollars
"T'he-voI, sav':'
NJ C,sev 'ramember where YOU
are
II hog nardou sir hut the price hit
mo on neI tbe e" iaw' can the father of the
Young lady raise the scads""
!,
'..,d vb,, do tho kidnsnpers threat
=, 80 a." - W.
'".iS H. ,,ou.y &c not maid in three
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

fore being picked up
1T didn't say where to look for
her; en-" .,
had opened vein in her arm for the
blood. and had used match for a
pen. and was too excited TO give street
and number.
And of course you could do moth
ing
"Could the smartes; detective have
done anything" queried Casey.
of course you don't, but wasn't
the Cop there? Wasn't the commission
er depending on him? Wasn't the
whole force depending on him? Wasn't
il for him TO do or die? II was, Sir,
and he began doing things"
The first step. if you please"
lie. That meant Italians Do you know.
sir that there are about six kinds of
garlic. each having Its own SMELL"
NO. ! don't"
IT make no charge for the infor-
nation. l recognized at once by the
smell OF the note that it came from
sax Yeu f foifewe dh it, rest was easy
Il did. and alone. and it led me to
room where eighteen men sat
around. As told them L had come
their weapons. At the same momert I
heard the cry of woman, and kicked
i'll door"
MIR. Casey. you were in for it," l
said. as | could picture the scene.
Il grant you that another might
have been. sir. but ] was Casey. the
Cop. As ! stood there with my arm
around the girl and facing the gang.
I called out my name. one moment
they were ttirsting for my blood: the
next the room was still as death. So
for few seconds. and then the leader
asked:
Did you say you were Officer
Casey"
THE same"
Then that settles IT. Take the girl
and GO"
And an hour later she was in the
arms of her family.
And the five thousand dollars
Casey"
Il never take money, sir. for res
cuing an actress who Is going to take
star part in 4 new play. and wants
the public to hear of her i'll aG-
vance"
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

have been under my feet. Maybe you
will tell me that l slipped ont of the
house last night and stole a pair belong
ing to a giant
She rose and walked over to him and
unbuttoned his vest and threw it open.
Only one suspender was in sight. She
pulled off his, coat and found the other
dangling down his back. For moment
he was beaten. Then he flushed up and
exclaimed:
Yes. but why in thunder didn't YOU
discover it this morning? ] heard some
fellows suying me on the street at noon.
and I'll bet II was about that dangling
suspender. Mrs. Bowser-''
What else has happened?" she inter-
rupted.
Take a lool, at this necktie. will YOU?
Is It a necktie or a piece of tarred rope?"
There you are again. You couldn't
be satisfied to drag out an old collar. but
you must get a necktie to match. What
do YOU do such things for?'
Don't lay it on to me: and don't bluff
me-" he sternly exclaimed. Woman.
there is such thing as divorce, thank
heaven"
But if you'd apply for one 1t would
turn out to be mortgage on the house.
Now. then. what else"
My socks hoarsely whispered Mr.
BoWser as he pointed to his feet.
What about them"
Full of holes. crevices. chasms. ra-
vines, They hav. hurt my feet all day.
Look at them. guilty woman. and let the
blush OF shame mantle your check
He sat down and took of his shoes.
There were holes in the toes and heels
of his socks. They were not holes which
yearling calf could have passed
through. but Yet they were of respect
able size and only waiting for warm
showers to grow larger Mr.. Bowser
looked at Mrs. Bowser with accusing
looks, and she ran upstairs and returned
after a moment with eight pairs of socks
as fresh as new pins
''Ihey were right there in front ~
your nose. but YOU scrabbled around and
got that pair somewhere" she said Are
the complaints ended?"
Il left my eyeglasses on the table this
morning. You knew / did. The cook
knew l did. The blamed old yaller cat
knew 1 did. and yet the whole caboodle
of you saw me start out without them
and never said a word. l had to go out
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
SAL DIDN'T ...oLLER.

1t was election day in town, and I
noticed that almost every white man
was armed. There was no appearance
OF trouble with the negroes. and I
big revolver under his coat tails
wha: was apprehended.
Cant alIus tell jest how this we're
bin down on the green's .d FUR fo Ee y aIn
and they've dun bin down on US Jest
the same. Thar's the Parkers-they ar
the Lowrys: they ar dun down on the
Browns. Thar's the Perkinses: they
are dun down on the weltons Can't
tell tel when rn, sso nnsI Will begin to
You don't mean there is danger of
regular fusilade right here in the
Cant tell. I've seed it afor.. Got
two vars ago. 1t all depends. I
what does It depend on?"
Bout as much on my boy Sam as
powerful reckless. I wanted him to
stay home but he wouldn't"
'And what win Sam dor
Cant tell. II somebody will take
Sam over to the saloon and fill him
any p &c row yere today II they don't don't an ns
Sam should walk on the squar and
begin to boiler. nobody can be held
IN. sam am, - powerful on on the holier.
mo"
wall. he first flaps his arms and
crows like a rooster, and you kin hear
that crow a mile away. Then he an
nounces that he was born on top Of
the Rocky Mountains. and IL used to
grizzly bars, chain-lightnin'. cyclones
and all that Then he offers TO out
run. out-jump. out holler. out-wTas-
sic. out-cry or out-fEht any Twin ami
mA on top of the face Of this earth.
He works hisself up by degrees and
when he gifts to the climax you kin
hear him three miles on II the wind
IL right"
"And that brings on q row."
-Suah to do It. sab. Thar comes
Sam now. and I'll be clawed II ne
doan' look like he Was gwine to begin
hollerin.;. Will ye do me favor?"
take him over and All him up. I'm
a-runnin' fur ONCE today and doan'
Sam and I were introduced. and we
adjourned to q saloon; 1t took an
hours time and two fuH quarts e
- was there Tor an day an1I v1oa= IL
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
They Had Reasons.

Mai. Singleton was crossing the public
square from the postoffice to the court
house, when he encountered Col. Triton.
who was crossing from the courthouse to
the postofiice. 1t was a hot day. and
both wanted drink;
Powerful hot. Colonel said the
Major.
Makes the throat mighty dry
Yes. sah-mighty dry"
Cant say when I've wanted drink
80 bad since the wah."
Same with me. Majah. Don't reckon
I've had so much cotton In my mouth in
twenty years Where yo' bound for.
"Ovah to the Cote House. sab Yes.
plead a case. and nothing but watah
ovah thar
The Major stood digging his heel into
the gravel and looking down the street.
minute. and then was broken by the
Major. who said:
Colonel Triton. I have reasons sab.
for not inviting yo' TO nip with me this
by the quart, but now glass Of It flies
to my head and makes me forget my
SELF II we were drinking together. sab.
I might say something to hurt yo' feel
iIgs.something to be be-, mighty sorry for
"Aajah Singleton. sah." said the Colo
mel, as a smile stole over his face and
he reached out his hand. ''yo have given
me yo'r confidence. and I will return 1t.
For tn last var. sab. whiskey has gone
right to my brain. and 1t so happened
that have drunk with gentleman and
then called him a liah befo' the taste
was out Of my mouth"
1T is a queer coincidence" observed
the Major.
Powerful queer replied the Colonel.
Then each OF us had best
Jest 50. sab. Good evening. Majah
SINGLETON"
Good SvsninS. Colonel Tifton.''
And they bowed and separated and
each went hin way to buy bis own drink
81 1E31k e ~ himself.
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
Would he stand such treatment?
Would he suffer such humiliation?

father came in and saw him he shook
ha nds and said:
"a thousand times obI.eged. Sam
will lose his vote. Of co'se but we'll
count out ten niggers as an offset. and
thar won't he no shutin' to speak Of
Jest little shutin' now and then
Jest 'nuff TO sorter make 'em realize
that this yere is 'leckshun day. an
our ticket is gwine to git thar by over
To- hundred majority"
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16
BOWSER, HE SUFFERS
If Mrs. Bowser Was Only Like Some Wives.

Numbered as he rose up. DO YOU see
how it's raveled out on the edges? Do
you see that even a longshoreman would
be ashamed to wear it,
Il see IL, Mr.. Bowser. Yesterday
hunted up a lot of your old collars and
put them In bag to give away to
tramps. With two dozen new collars In
your dresser You went to the bag and
got this one out. Why do you do such
things"
Il don't do EN- he shouted. But II
| did it's your business as a loving wife
to notice them before l go away. All
day long the bottoms of my trousers
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

and buy a pair before I could do any
work. BY John, but when l think or
these things
Mrs. Bowser passed down the hall to
where his spring ovCrcoat was hanging
on the rack. and. after feeling in the
pockets came back with the lost glasses
In her hand and observed:
You'll put them in the letter-box some
day IL you don't look out. What else?
Mr.. Bowscr stood back and fixed her
with his eye for 1t time and then pointed
down TO his shoes and tcnsely demand
cd:
What do YOU call these"
The Washington herald., 1915-05-16

Shoes she replied-'.shoes with holes
in the toes and the heels all run over.
You put them on last evening when you
were cleaning up the back yard, and
this morning you forgot to change to the
others. 1t was my fault. l ought to go
around looking at your feet. VIII you
please forgive me? The cook missed a
fork and napkin after you left the ia
BILE this morning. Will you look through
your pockets for them? l was going to
give cook an old corset today but
couldn't find it. Have you got it on? One
OF my nightdresses is strangely missing.
Can YOU account for it? My belt with
the rhinestone buckle cant be found. I
don't think you could buckle 1t around
y you. but you may be using si, IT for Or,
waist
Mr.. Bowser turned on his heel and
walked down the hall to his hat and then
left the house. That house was no place
for a martyr. Mrs. Bowser was no wife
for a martyr. No one loved him: no one
sympathized with him He instinctively
turned his face toward the river, but he
had hardly cleared the gate when the
weather got her sprinkling pot to work
and down came a shower that drove him
under the nearest shade tree. He was a
martyr some more.
He stood there with his back bumped
up and the water running down his spine,
and Mrs. Bowser never came to the door
to call him in and beg his pardon. In
deed. as the rain came down harder and
a policeman across the street yelled to
him to move on he heard the guilty
woman singing:
Il would not live alwa:;
/ ask not to stay"
Would he stand such treatment?
Would he suffer such humiliation?
No. by jeeswax,
He was a martyr. but a martyr would
die with his back to the wall
Ha HnwDt rpdinn hIIt 1ef tho
have care, II die he must
Would you please tell me IL Mr. Ham
merdinEcr lives here came the voice
of n man at his elbow.
mo, No. you son OF n Cun-no'"
And when the startled man turned and
fled Mr.. BowseT fursued him. calling out
at every jump that he would battle in
his gore,