The hummer., 1915-09-24
UNCLE ELI FAILED TO BE AT
THE SCHOOL COMMENCEMENT.

Well was not at the beginning of the school cot
back from Chattanooga little too late Its the rag
ged place in the world When the Lord was making the
world and when He got to Chattanooga he had more ma
teral than He knew what do with and got mad and
tore things up Cavne rivers running through the val
leys and rocks piled up half mile high above you and
Lookout Mountain from the top Of which you into
many states though don't suppose the states had been
laid out at that time He never took time to smooth
things but hurried to the Shenandoah valley I'M
Virginia where He knew Stonewa Jackson was to clean
up three Yankee armies in day. and then in be-
hind them in the great battle of the Wilderness and help
Lee win victory.
sodiered all over Lookout Mountain Missionary
Ridge and Chckamauga, a half century ago but am
not going tell about it now further than say that
my tracks in old peach orchard made so years ago
was Getting out of the way of the Yankees who seem
ed to have important business up there Now lets get
back the schools Chad get rid of these thoughts be-
fore could get started) got fellow who there
tell me what happened at the school beginning" You
know people call school closing commencement. Ask
Prof Reid why?
He said Major it was good thing for your reputation
that you was not there You know to fit little fish
among lot of big is hard do the little fishes tail
is short the little fish aint got brass than
brains he feels the strenOusty of the situation He
one speaker divided men into casses-One represented
wheebanow and the other pushed and rode respectfully
rode but he gave credit for running the world the
man that pushed Well don't want credit that bad-I
don't love to work and I've got the Scripture for it. When
the Lord turned Adam and Eve of the garden of Eden
lie placed the curse Of work on them and I've been
mighty busy trying escape that curse but dOnts any
hing about it for I've always been willing let the other
fellow work Jerusha says am not likely to turn the
world upside down anyway
But " got a rail under corner, and giving it
nd lIati
in the papers where snOok off forty million loads Of
irt into the Panama Canal a few days ago So you see
amt no slow coach myself Then he said others told the
young idea to shoot where shoot and when and dwelt
largely in what was going to be- Man is curious ami
NAL always guessing the future for what he actually
knows about it don't amount to hill Of beans There is
million of things already happened to talk about So
what's the use of specuatng what's going to be When
la man begins to talk about what might be- know
his brains like lot of scrambled eggs you just as we'll
suppose something good bad when its only speculation
any way Like Daniel Webster Henry Clay StOneWa
Jackson and Abraham Lincoln got my start in the little
log cabin in the lane and while they had humble start
they shook the world by their elOquence, and had the
power to lead to do daring deeds The school teach
er was little black eyed smooth shaven fellow that kept
two long hickory switches close by necessary part of
an education was to tan the boys hides occasionally.
Anybody that had good watch long hickory switch
es and backbone enough tackle the job could teach in
these days You had to look wise and not talk much.
Now the books and teachers have been hauled and
everything and everybody put in their proper places.
Geography Grammer and History have all been
stratened ont but when they got to Arithmetic nothing
could be done twice two has been four since Adam
drove two yoke of oxen mill in the year I've been
on the county school board for 18 years and noted the
vast improvements made in that time The school is
keeping pace with the fast age in which we live With
good roads, autos telephones and flying machines. We
are run in the midst of the enlightened period of the
world history our responsibility is great and must
leave our footprints in the sands of tmerunnng in the
rsht drectonand the literary moral and spiritual up
lift of the world should be the high mark for for which
strive. ELI PERKINS.