Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-05-04
Chopping Off
Slang


For goodness sake, John,'' said
Mrs. Medbury, "be more careful in
the language you use around the
house. I've been intending to speak
to you about it for some time, but it
got away from me-"
whats the kick?" demanded her
husband, Indignantly. "You don't
hear me spilling any profanity or
anything like that, do you?"
mo, but you will talk slang!" pro-
tested Mrs. Medbury, "and I'm get
ting into the habit so that I'm asham-
ed to talk to my friends. It's fierce.
mean, it's distressing!"
II never noticed you talking slang"
said Medbury. Besides, everybody
talks little slang nowadays. What's
the principal noise about?"
There you 60 now" said his wife
sharply. "You talk that way two
thirds Of the time and can't help
falling for some of it myself would
say unconsciously assimilating ex-
pressions from your conversation.
When any of my friends call I'm in
nervous tremor all the time for fear
I'll forget myself and make some hor-
rible break. They're not used to it."
ooh, I guess you're not so bad"
protested Medbury. "They can stand
for anything you hand them without
straining themselves. I'd like to see
any of your set that you don't shape
up with on the conversation thing
when you put yourself to it."
That's the trouble" went on Mrs.
Medbury, "and that's why I wish you
would cut out some of your slang.
Then in time l could break myself
Of the habit. Only this afternoon
Mrs. Miggles and Mrs. Jasper were
here making arrangements about the
lawn party at the church next week,
and we got to talking about the ser
vant-girl problem. I told them how
annoying Minnie has been and how
we planned to let her 60 and in my
absent-minded way, what do you
think it was that I said?"
IT couldn't hit it in thousand
years." said Medbury. "Come across
with It."
"Well, was so embarrassed after.
ward I could scarcely talk to them"
went on his wife. Il was telling how
Minnie was growing more imperti-
nent every day, and I said: 4 think
she knows that I'm fixing to put the
rollers under her"
Medbury pounded his knee with his
open palm and shrieked with laugh.
| ter.
Mrs. Medbury bit her lip and
frowned. "You see" she exclaimed
"That's the way it goes, and it's all
your fault. You've simply got to talk
better English around the house, be
cause I'm sure all the women I know
are beginning to get wised up on me
and the first thing know I'll be get
ting myself ditched-I mean snubbed
and ignored. It's really serious
thing, John, and I don't see where
you get the big laugh out of it,
Neither do l." admitted Medbury
'T'm trying to be serious, no matter
how painful You know, l amt there
with that long-faced stuff very much
but I'm really going to try and help
you out. I can see where you're
likely to get in wrong with these
danes that aren't Joseph to your line
Of talk, and 1t isn't right. appreciate
that I'm going to chop"
ooh, will you try, John?" exclaimed
Mrs. Medbury, eagerly. That's fine
and dandy! We've simply got to
frame it up some way so we won't
use SO much slang. Don't you see II
my way?"
"Surest thing you know, kiddo!" ex
claimed Medbury, enthusiastically
"You can count on me being there
with my hair and braid when it
comes to the reform gag. Nothing
but the purest wells of English unde-
filed for mine after this-just watch
my smoke!"
That's the real goods!" said his
wife in delight. "Now l know we
can put it overt"