davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08
A LITTLE BIT OF MOST ANYTHING

the other a. m. when the grogan
family was feeding there faces at
the breakfast table littel gorgie
spilled his coffey cup over and In
about IA OF a second he had slid
his plate over tho spot where the
coffey had mussed up the label
cloth but at that speed he coodent
get away with the goods that time
cause his NAV had her lamps on
him
gorgie, she said 20 him. that don't
do you no good to hide the results
OF your kairlessness for 1 always
find II out when go 10 take the
dishes from often the label
o, know that. replys gorgie, but
by that time ! am In skool
johnny
after the Job? I thought you be-
lieved that the office should seek
the man7
Old Patron--I. DO, but this is n
fat Job and ] thought It might get
winded before II reached moi
The Viewpoint
Widow-But have nine children.
He-Wretched deceiverI
Widow-They are all working.
He - Dearest onel - Michigan
Gargoyle.
The Same Onesi
Army Surgeon-Young man, /
am sorry but can't pass you. Your
teeth are too bad.
Youth--Well. I'll be hanged You
passed these same teeth yesterday
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

q. y. wensdy-sum fellers are
purity nifty at dragging the covers
over there tracks when they get in
bad one way or other but sum pee
pei say that IL don't get them no
where caus they always get nabbed
In the end
but what's getting nabbed In the
end meen to a guy when he amt
there. that's what | wood Ike to
know
that reminds me Of littel gorgie
grogan who lives with his nav and
paw in the BRONX and he IL mitey
smart kid IL there ever was one
and CESS he will grow up to be a
captin of finanse and use up the
statue OF limitations to a frazzel
Right Between the Ribs
Petricia--Quite n girl you had at
the game!
Penrod-Yeh. a peach. Knew the
game. too.
Patricia-Well, she ought TO. She
hasn't missed one In 20 years
Cornell Widow.
HE Failure
Perkins will never make a good
golf player" remarked the first golf
bug.
NO" replied the second golf
bug; "he neglects his game TO at
tend TO business. "-Cincinnau En-
quirer.
Took No Chances
Old Waffcr-co cir vn,, uont
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08
ON THE WAY TO A NEW RECORD

Q BATTLES council has done well in passing
~ the ordinance providing for purifying the
city's milk supply thru the tubercun test and
pasteurization.
Milk sold in Seattle has all along been kept
up to the highest possible sanitary standards.
With the additional safeguards provided by the
new ordinance, our milk should be the pureSt in
all the United States. Doctors agree that this
distinction is now within Seatte'S reach.
with this new law" said the famous ex-
pert. Dr. Charles North of New York, while here
recently, ''you should have absolutely the finest
dairy district in the whole country"
And fine thing about il is that the improve
ment isn't going to hurt anyone. Producers OF
most of the milk sold in the city already are
equipped with facilities for pasteurization. Small
dairymen can pasteurize their milk at a nominal
expense And judging from results noted thus
far in administering the tubercun test to cattle
supplying Seattle the entire loss to darymen thru
COWS found infected will not be more than $1,000
And this loss is to be made good by the state.
We make our milk safe; no one suffers eX-
cept the state, and the state only stands to lose
$1,000.
II looks to The Star like good deal.
Incidentally, il developed today that Coun-
cimen Erickson and Marble, who opposed the
ordinance, and Councilman Lundy, who fought it
but finally voted for il, have been using Pasteur
lied or tuberlin tested milk at their homes right
along. Lundy has been drinking tuberculn tested
milk for three years and didn't know it
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

SIGN OF PEACE: American bankers commence
worry over European credits.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

WE READ that one may hypnotic cobra
ng its neck with the fingers One may also by
at,lesnake by biting its head off.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

hH"HN = " - Aff - 49, HFff1
engaged IN Dentistry
In this state.
Patients have told
me many times that
friends were fearful TO
come 20 me because I
was an Advertising
Dentist. and my prices
were too low So. you
see. there are disad-
vantages In being an
Advertising Dentist.
first. one must over
come the stigma ehrust
pom than by { h o
quack clan: second. tho
preu alec OF WELL
meaning people must
be ov srco m ., and.
again, tho takers oven
try TO 1 IN tate my
ma m o, so beware OF
those calling b e m
selves the Right DR..
fir0Kyn
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

Old Waiter-So, sir, you went
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08
BIG DITCH PAYS

VOUR Uncle SAINT has collected more than
l. 100000 in tolls for the use of the Panama
canal since il was opened to commerce in May last
year. The figures for April last show that the
canal paid for its maintenance and operation and
turned over profit Of s84,t12 for that month
The advance estimate of the May receipts indicates
that the operating deficit now existing will be en-
tirely wiped out If the big ditch is turning over
profit now what will she do when the worlds
commerce gets to moving across the seas again as
it did before Europe staged her big conflict?
WE READ with great glee Of Missouri farmer
who lured New York Rube down into the Ozarks and
unoaded gold brick him. Now If he can avoid
specializing in Wall ST, will believe the Mssouran
wise.
WE DO NOT blame Gen Huerta much but what
ought be done with New York spectators who pledged
him financial aid in his attempt arrange for the murder
OF a few thousand wretchcd Mexicansl
WE READ that may hypnotic cobra by press
ing its neck with the fingers One may also hypnotic
rattlesnake by biting its head off
IF MEXICO keeps at it they will have eghtcub
league OF revolutionary clubs
SIGN OF PEACE: American bankers commence to
worry European credits.
THE GERMAN defense of the of gas bombs
"they did first" How like small boys nations are!
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

Councilman Bolton who proclaimed to the
council that he wanted his milk raw" uses con-
densed milk mostly, it has been learned, But
BUYS PASTEURIZED MILK WHENEVER HE
USES THE. BOTTLED PRODUCT.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08
- EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE SEATTLE STAR -:

day after. When you come home at night, al
peace with the world, tired and dirty but In bet
ter humor than you have been in month, you
will thank us. So will your wife.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08

open evenings until 3 and Sundays
until for people who work. Phone
Mai8 3s40.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-08
The Dental War Is On
FAKE ADVERTISING
DENTISTS
NJ EDWIN J. BROWN. -. ID. r.
7f3 First Ave. Union Block

There arc reasons why Advertis-
ing Dentists are looked upon with
suspicion; one IL that there are some
a.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
wooLWoRrH PAYS BILL.

Cancels Old Circus Debt Of so Cents In
Town Of Boyhood.
WATERFOWL, N. Y.-Frank w. Wool
worth, many times millionaire, Is
worth at least 80 cents less than when
he arrived here. 1t was persistent
creditor known far and wide in this
section as "Huckleberry Charlie" Sher-
man that took Mr. WOOlworth's meas
IRE.
Forty years ago, when the big syn
dicate man and "Huckleberry Charlie"
played as boys in the fields near Great
Bend, the future multimillionairen need
ed just 90 cents to 60 to circus that
had struck town. On Charles money
they both saw the show.
Recently. as Mr.. Woolworth alighted
from his automobile, Charlie was on
hand to press his claim. Mr.. Wool
worth did not temporize. He acknowl-
edged the debt, and, what's more, he
paid 1t.
I'VE are both from the same town,
you know" explained MI. Woolworth
after the settlement 1T seems good
to see Charlie once more, even II it
has cost me half a dollar. Anyway,
that was the best show I ever saw"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29

SHELLS started by the heat, sweeping
out the fetid contents and feeling ip
one swift motion of thumb for any
hidden secretion of the naore. Nothing
was found while was watching. and
as did not much like the odor drew
to one side.
IT think he's holding out on usr'
Kissed Jean Laf1tte. thine and again
I seen the varlet make false moves.
Let him have care! The eye Of Jean
Laf1tte is upon himv'
For my own part. cared little for
anything beyond the sport in my pearl
venture but no man likes to be "done,"
so I joined the guard over the pearl
fishing.
They showed me few pieces they
had saved, splinters and slugs of nacre.
misshapen and of no luster, and sneer-
ed at the net results, worth at most not
so much as the days wages was pay
ing either. l cared nothing for the re-
suits and smiled and nodded as took
them.
Thus the day wore on till midafter-
noon, when, such had been the zeal of
the clammers, the heap of bivalves was
exhausted. They stood erect, straight
en1ng their stiffened backs, and grinned
as they looked at me.
"Well," said the old bag, II reckon
ye're satisfied now that we know this
business better'n you do. He told ye
there wasn't no pearl in this river"
NO." added her hopeful son, IAN,
come to think Of it, how'd ever know
you had hundred dollars? I amt
seen it yet. But we've done, so let's
see 1t now"
l quietly opened my pocketbook and
took several bills Of that yellow backed
denomination and selected one for him.
He took it at first suspiciously, then
greedily, and l saw his eyes go to my
wallet. II forgot" said l, and took out
two bills of IS each, which 1 handed to
him.
by golly," said he, sod forgot!'
"Why did you forget about your
wages?" I asked, and looked at him
keenly. He turned his eyes aside.
'This fresh water pearl f1shing," said
l, has many points of likeness to the
ocean pearl fishing in Ceylon."
"You been there|' be queried. "And
why is it like them?"
''In several ways. 1t is. in the first
place, all a gamble. The pearl mer-
chants buy the oysters as bought
my mussels, by the lump and as a
chance, based on the law Of average
product. They rot the oysters as you
do the mussels. The smell is the
same, and many other things are the
same For instance, 1t is almost i'm
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29

Helene" the finest eyer taken IN fresh
waters in America.
] looked at him quietly. and handed
him back all but the one pearl. II am
sorry you were not better sport" said
1, very sorry. Didn't play fair with
your"
NO." said he. ''Some folks have all
tho luck. You come along here, rich.
with all sorts of things, and you'd rob
man like me out of what little he
can make"
was opening my wallet again. Il
am sorry to hear you say that" said
I, handing him two bills of hundred
dollars each. "Sorry, because it has
cost you $780,"
Heavens, man, what do you mean p
he gasped, even his fingers slow to
take both money and contempt.
'That the pearl Is worth to me that
much, since l have a purpose for 1t. I
have more money than want, and
fewer pearls like this than want. 1t
would have given me the keenest sort
Of pleasure to give you and your
mother few thousand dollars, two or
three, to set you up with little launch
and an outfit enough to give you a
good start-and, perhaps, a good part
ner. You had good chance, and like
many another man who isn't good
enough to deserve success you lost it.
DO you know why you failed"
"It's the luck" said he. II never had
none."
"No," said l, 1T is not that. So far
as luck goes, you are lucky you are
alive. Little do you know our desper-
ate band. Little do you know you have
escaped the wrath Of Lafitte, of LOlon-
nois, of Black Bart. Luck! No, that is
not why you failed"
"What then?" he demanded, still COW
etous, albeit rueful, too, at what he
vaguely knew was lost opportunity.
1T was because you, did not play the
part of a clammer naturally and nobly,"
I replied. "My friend, counsel you to
read Epictetus, and while you are at
that" I added. II suggest you read
also that other classic, the one known
as The Pirates Own Book"
A moment later the waves were rip
ping merrily along the sides Of the Sea
Rover as she headed out boldly into
the high seas.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
turn FAUCET and GET
APPLEJACK COCKTAIL
Enjoyed Until Cider Makers
Find New Dump For Refuse.

Reading, Pa.-For some weeks the
city water bureau has noticed an amaz-
ing increase in the water used In this
city. Inspectors and registrars alike
were unable to account for it. People
who seldom used water except to wash
iD have been seen indulging in amaz-
ing quantities. Men who have not
used it as tipple for long time have
been forsaking bars and clinging to
water attachments in public places in
lieu Of pumps.
Analysis of the water discovered a
peculiar taste. 1t was like three fingers
Of Bourbon diluted to the eighth de-
gree. This failed to solve the mys-
terry, however, as no one supposed for
moment that dist1llery had been
located near any Of the reservoirs.
By accident the key to the puzzle has
just been found. One of the inspec-
tors Of the state health board patrol
ling the water shed found several cider
mills along the Maiden creek, which
supplies the city, were dumping the
waste and pulp from the apples used
in making cider into the stream. This
pulp, fermenting In the shallow places,
produced the alcoholic Juice that lent
it's peculiar applejack flavor later no.
ticed in the city water.
Even the fish showed the effects.
Fishermen reported that the fish would
not bite, but seemed to be running
around recklessly In the water and In
dClging In antics that no fish In its
right mind would think of.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
KEPT COFFIN THIRTY YEARS.
Eccentric War Veteran Arranged His
Own Funeral.

Eccentric War Veteran Arranged His
Own Funeral.
Newcastle, Ind.-Moab Turner, sew
enty-seven years old, was buried in a
coffin he had made thirty years ago
when he suffered his first stroke of pa
ralysis. It was built from great
walnut chest which had been in his
family for years The coffin had been
in the care of local undertaken foe
ten years.
Turner, who was eccentric and ar
ranged his own funeral, lived In Ten
nessee when the civil war broke out.
He was conscripted by the south, and
after six months service succeeded In
having himself taken prisoner SO that
he could join the Union army. He was
captured at Cumberland Gap, exchang-
ed, saw service daily In the Atlanta
campaign and was again captured.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29

possible to keep the diver from steal
ing pearls, just as it is hard to keep
the Kaf1rs from stealing the diamonds
they find in the Mines"
still was looking at him closely,
and now said to him mildly and In a
low tone Of voice: 1T would be of no
use. l should only beat you again,
and would rather spare your mother.
You see," l added in louder tone Of
voice, 1.-THE natives put pearls in their
hair, between their toes, in their
mouths--although they do not chew
tobacco as you do. One who merely
put one in the pocket of his overalls,
II he wore overalls. would be called
very clumsy indeed, especially if he
had been seen to do it"
1nvoluntarily he clapped hand on
his pocket. What would have been
his next act l do not know, for at
that moment I heard q voice call out
sharply: Halt, villain! Throw up
your hands or by heavens you der
Turning swiftly, saw LATTE, his pis-
tol aimed in very serviceable fashion
at the heart Of the clammer, about the
same as when he first accosted me on
my stream, glancing along the barrel
with an ominous gray eye again gone
three cornered.
Before l could even cry out to him
his warning was effective saw my
clam fisher 60 white and put his hands
over his head, the while his mother
ran screaming toward the tent, Jimmy
LOlonnois at her heels, sword In
hand, and warning her not to get a
gun, else her life's blood would dye
the strand.
In moment or two restored peace.
held out my hand to the clammer.
Il didn't know you seen me-" said he
simply and placed in my hand three
pearls, either Of them worth more than
all had paid him, and one Of them
the largest and best had ever seen
it is the pearl famous as the Belle
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
Saw q White Crow

Harbor Springs, Mich.-A very un-
common freak Of nature has lately
been observed here in the shape Of a
snow white crow, which mingles with
q flock that makes its home ON and
about the Thomas Kneale farm. It Is
all white excepting spot on its tail
and one on its breast and furnishes q
strange contrast to its black compan-
ions.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
ARE WED IN Lookup CELL.

Ohio Bride Wanted Ceremony to Be
"out Of Ordinary"
Sandusky, O.-Miss Luelia Martin Of
Toledo and James Edward Vessel Of
Detroit were married In cell in Put
Inlay village lookup by Justice Of the
Peace Homer Ramey.
We want something out of the ordi-
nary In the way Of a ceremony" said
the bride elect
'Try jail CELL" suggested Squire
Ramey. And they did.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
KIN Bio Brown Bear.

Nevada City. Gala 800 pound brown
bear was killed by Albert Buck and
Henry Bever while hunting their stock
In the vicinity of Moores fiat. The foot
prints Of the bear had been seen for
weeks The dogs got the scent and
soon had the animal freed. Buck. took
one shot and brought the bear to earth.
There have been several bears seen IN
the northern part Of Nevada county,
and they have been menace to the
stockmen.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
SHE IS QUEEN RAT CATCHER.
Girl Of Twelve Demands Bounty on
Bodies of Seventeen.

Marinette, Wis. = Pearl Parlmeteer,
twelve, has given another proof Of wo-
mans encroachment on provinces here
tofore occupied by men. She took
seventeen dead rats into the Office of
Menominee's city clerk and asked for
the bounty of cents head.
In the number Of rats caught Pearl
IS second only to Lloyd Mason, the
champion six-year>old rat catcher Of
Menominee, who has killed and col
lected bounties on fifty-four rats.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29

Easy Money.
II give my wife half my salary ev-
cry week to spend on the housekeeping
and herself"
"And what do you do with the other
half of your salary2"
"Oh, my wife borrows that."-Hous-
ton Post.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29
FLOOD LIFTS cow INTO TREE
Among Other Freakish Stunts, IL
Steals Barrel Of vineaar.

Steals Barrel Of Vinegar.
Frederick, Md.-Queer freaks were
played by cloudburst which swept
over section Of Frederick county.
County Commissioner Frank NJ. Ste
vens Of Creagerstown lost two cows.
He found one Of them In the fork OF q
peach tree seven feet from the ground.
Samuel Geisbert Of Creagerstown, who
thought he had taken every movable
object from his cellar, lost barrel Of
vinegar.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-09-29

A man must be excessively stupid as
well as uncharitable who believes there
is no virtue but on his own side.-Addi-
son.
Arizona sentinel Yuma southwest., 1915-12-23
Associated Press)

LONDON, Dec. 21.-Pre- mier Asquith today announc- ed in the House of Commons, the recall of Lieut.. Gen. Rob ertSon; Gen. French has be- come chief of the imperial staff, with headquarters in London, to fill the place of Lieut.. Gen. Murray, who is about to receive an important command.
 The total British casualties resulting during the evacua- ton of Suvla Bay, was three wounded, according to the of- ficial announcement.
 The German Reichstag to- day voted a government credit of 1O,OOO,O0O,OOO marks .19 Socialists voted against it, according to a Berlin dis patch.
 The Albanian city of Du- an important Adriatic port coveted by Italy, is to be the next objective of the Teu- tonic attack. Strong forces are said to be marching there with the intention of either Forestalling Italian occupa-
Arizona sentinel Yuma southwest., 1915-12-23
GERMANS IMPRISONED
 ON SAMOAN ISLANDS
Associated Press)

WELLINGTON, New Zealand, De-,
 21.-In consequence of complaints by
 the Auckland Chamber of Commerce
 the the Deutsche Handels und Plan
 tagen Gesellschaft, German Pacific
 island trading firm with headquarters in Hamburg and large business in
 copra, was doing business in Samoa and the Tonga group, the headquarters and four plantations of the company in Samoa were lately raided by the New Zealand government authorities, papers were seized and several Ger mans arrested. Subsequently Karl Hansen, the general manager. was convicted before a military court of evading the censorship by mailing le:. ters to Germany from San Francisco through the connivance of sailing yes. sels plying between California and Samoa Adolph Eberhardt, manager of one of the company's largest cocoa nut groves, was found guilty of hay ing withheld from the New Zealand authorities documents which had belonged to the German Samoan government. Hansen was sent enced to six months imprisonment and in ternment until the end of the war; and Eberhardt was sentenced to a fine of $50 and internment.
 The business has been placed in the hands of a receiver appointed by the New Zealand government. By this action all German business activity in -he South Pacific-unless it be under British scrutiny-ceases until peace las been concluded.
Arizona sentinel Yuma southwest., 1915-12-23
LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN WAR
 1OLD BY FOREIGN DISPATCHES

tion, or driving out forces said to be already there.
 Russia's plans to invade Bulgaria by sea are apparent ly being carried through. An Athens dispatch says a Rus sian cruiser with two destroy CTS are conveying Is trans ports, loaded with troops from Odessa, and are now bom- barding Varna, Bulgaria (the chief Black Sea port).
 The Rotterdam Courant says that the Prussian casual ty lists 800 to 399 contained nearly 43,O0O names, making the total PrusSian losses in excess of 2,25O,OOO which, printed as book lists, would 100 volumes Of 45O pages each.
 The Chancery Court today granted Mrs. Asquith an in- junction forbidding the Daily Globe from printing articles to De libellous. The counsel for Mrs. Asquith de- clared that the paper had ae- cused the premier's wife of being disloyal, declared her a traitor and a disgrace to her sex.
Arizona sentinel Yuma southwest., 1915-12-23
CALEX|CO HOC SALE Is RECORD:
 Sll,OOO FOR 25O DUROC.JERSERYs

What is claimed to be the largest sale of roc-JerseyS west of the Mississippi river took place last Thursday at the I. B. Owen ranch adjoin- ing Calexico, advertisement of which appeared in the Yu- ma Examiner and other big papers, at which time between $11,O0O and $12,O0O worth of registered hogs were auction ed by Will Stanton and the Wachtel brothers.
 Remarkable prices were re- ceived and over 250 register ed hogs, exclusive of wean- lingS, were disposed of in 5 hours. PrlCeS ranging rom S12.5O to $1OO were received and spirited bidding ensued during all of the three hours given over to the sale.
 The Calexico Chronicle says:
 MT. Stanton considered it the most spectacular sale in the history of the valley, establishing new prices and fn- dicating that hog raisers in the county were intent on acquiring registered stock in preference to the ordinal, breeds which are used for killing pur- poses. Some of the best known hog 1 fanciers in the county attended the sale and made purchases, while a num- 1er of prospective hog ra1sers bought 1 he nucleus of herds.
 Weanling pigs, from one. to two months old, brought from $12.50 to i ;25; pigs from two to four months old