davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

Dear Sweet Thing-"Aren't you
feeling well?"
Steady-"No; 1 ate German noodle
soup and French fried potatoes for
supper, and they won't arbitrate."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
A Real Smart Alec.

(Woman's Home Companion)
"What are the two sexes, Alec p"
asked the teacher.
masculine and feline" answered
Alec.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

The Quinine That Does Not Affect The Head
Because of its tonic and laxative effect, LAXA-
TIVE BROMO DUMMIES better than ordinary
Ouininc and does not cause nervousness nor
-inging in head. Remember the full name and
ook for the signature of T.. w. GROVE. CSC.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

Under Carranza's land plat, each
Mexican is entitled to six feet.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Stingy.
(Kansas City Post)

Mrs. Gordon was spending some
time at Palm Beach, and during be,
stay she wrote her husband, saying
"Dear Will: I enclose the hotel bill"
Will wrote back: w enclose the
check, but please don't buy any moro
hotels at this price. They are rob-
bing you."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Go Easy!

Go Easy!
Two things break gently,
We earnestly beg
Bad news to a friend,
And an over-ripe egg.
Memphis Commercial Appeal.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

nay place made you folks sick"
"Why so?"
because it is we'll water."-Bal-
Gmore American.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
whenever You Need General Tonic
Take Groves

The Old Standard Groves Tastcless
chill Tonic is equally valuable as a
General Tonic because il contains thc
well known tonic properties of OUININE
and IRON. 1t acts on the Liver, Drives
out Malaria, Enriches the Blood and
Builds up the Whole System. SO cents.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05

Dryer New Jersey is On Sunday
the wetter it is in New York.
Slingsby heir wins 100000 by an
ear. Beats losing it by nose.
Kentucky women sell votes at 81
each. Another argument for suf-
frage.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-03-05
Paradoxical Infection.

think it very queer the water on
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10

by Polish. German ana BOnemlan SET
tiers. Fro& 1905 to 1910 it was the
capital Of Poland Later it was part of
the grand duchy of Warsaw. and from
1915 to 1916 it was. with its immediate
nelghborhood, u free and neutral state.
distinction it lost when internal dis
orders gave Austria an excuse to step
in and take possession Of the town.
One of the most interesting things in
Cracow is Kosciusko hill. mound of
earth on the top Of the Borislava hill.
1t is made up Of handfuls of earth
brought by Poles from every corner Of
the kingdom and thrown together to
form memorial to the Polish patriot.
composed Of the soil Of the country he
loved SO we'll. Across the river Vistula
on Krakus hill there is similar
mound. which is said to be almost 1900
years old. 1t was, so tradition SAYS.
raised in the same way to the memory
Of Krakus. the Slavic prince who
founded the city.
To the patriotic Pole Cracow is al
ways the spiritual center of his father
land-the ''heart of Poland. outh's
Companion.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
POWER or ELoouENce..
Financial Effect Of Whitefieid's Sermon
on Ben Franklin.

Financial Effect Of Whitefieid's Sermon
on Ben Franklin.
White6eld made seven visits to Amer.
tea. BE brought great blessings to our
land. Whittier wrote of him thus:
The food OF emotion. deep ana etrone.
Troubled the land as It swept along.
But left result OF nolier lives.
In Philadelphia be preached with
such effectiveness that the dancing
rooms were discontinued and the bali
and concert rooms were shut up las in
consistent With the gospel"
Benjamin Franklin tells that In Phil
adelphia 10000 beard him with ease.
Ben was caught with the matchless
delivery OF his sermons. II happened
in meeting In the course OF which {
perceived" writes be. that be intend
ed to finish with collection. and I
silently resolved that be would get
nothing from me. 1 bad in my pockee
handful of copper money. three or
four silver dollars and five ptstoles In
gold. As he preached began to soften
and concluded to give the coppers: an
other stroke OF his oratory made me
ashamed Of that and determined me to
give the silver: and be finished 40 ad-
mtrabIy that ! emptied my pockets
wholly into the collection dish. gold
and all. "-Cbrtstiap Herald.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
A Tartar Courtshjp,

Among the Tchulian Tartars curl.
GUS mode OF popping the question"
exists The Tchulian bachelor In
search Of q wife. having filed brand
new pipe with fragrant tobacco.
steaIthiIy enters the dwelling OF the
fair one upon whom be has bestowed
his affections. deposits the pipe upon
conspicuous article OF furniture and
retires on uptOe to some convenient
hiding place in the ne1ghborhood. local
etiquette requiring that he should ex.
ecute this strategic movement appar
emily undetected by the damseI OF his
choice or any other member Ut her
family. Presently be returns without
further afrectation OF secrecy and looks
into the apartment in a casual sort OF
way. A single glance at the pipe be
left behind him ena bles him to learn
the fate OF his proposal. II it has been
smoked be goes forth an accepted and
exuItant bridegroom: If not, the offer
OF his hand and heart has been re-
jected
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
THE HEART OF POLAND.
Cracow, Its Buried. Patriots and the
Hill of kosciusko.

Cracow, Its Buried. Patriots and the
Hill of kosciusko.
Cracow is the ancient capital of Po-
land, the city around which cluster
most of the glorious memories of that
lost but not forgotten kingdom. There
for more than 400 years the kings Of
Poland were crowned and buried, and
for more than 300 years it was their
seat OF government.
There lie buried Jan Sobieski, who
delivered Vienna-and thereby all Eu~
rOpe-frOm the Turks; Ponia towsk,
the famous general who became one Of
Napoeon's marshals; Mickiewicz. the
poet OF Poland, and Kosciusko, the
patriot hero Of the Poles. The tombs
OF all four are in the Stanislas cathe-
dral. Il beautiful Gothic church built in
1859. that crowns the Wavel, a rocky
hill that rises on the edge of the town.
There are other fine churches in the
city. the Augustinian and Dominican
among them. and there is also the
great royal castle, which was long the
residence of the kings of Poland. and
fell to the uses of barracks after the
kingdom was divided and which has
within the last fifty years been re-
stored.
The city also contains very famous
old university. which dates from 1864
and in age is second only to Prague
among the universities of Europe.
CracoW itself was founded about 700
A. D. More than once it was destroyed
By the Tartars. rebuilt and recolonized
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
Spanish eox,, G.ma.

Spanish lads have game which they
call ''Hobbybull.' and It has something
on the American kiddies' hobby
according to those who have seen It.
The boys of Malaga aud other Spanish
cities find an immense amount of ex-
element and amusement In mock en-.
counters with the hobbybuii. which b
merely q framework mounted on
wooden wheels and has q pair of horns
dashed to its forward end. Armed with
scarlet CLOTH, one OF the boys infurs-
ates the hObbybull. while another OF
crates the animal"
If the matador has talent in the art
OF taunting and teasing and the other
lad ia spirited the game may become
serious. Boys in training to become
matadors practice regularly With the
hobby bull and consider such play 4
part Of their training. -Phiiadelphia
North American.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
JOHN MUIR AND TREES.

The Great Natursi'st's Pies For the
Preservation OF Forests.
Few men loved and knew trees bet.
ter than John Muir. the naturalist OF
the Sierras lie fought hard to pre-
serve tile forests. and In one Of his
books Tie says:
All sort Ut local laws and regula-
lions have been tried and found want
ins. and the costly lessons Of our own
experience as we'll as that Of, every
civilized nation show c0nclusively that
the fate OF the remnant Of our forests
Is In the hands of the federal govern
tnent and that If the remnant Is to be
wed at all it must be saved quickly,
Any foot can destroy trees They
cannot run away. and II they could
they would still be destroyed chased
and hunted down us long as fun or a
dollar could be got out Ut their bark
hides. branching horns or magnificent
noie backi"nes Few that fell trees
plant them %Or would planting avail
much toward getting back anything
like the noble prtmevai forests Dur
ing mans life only saplings can he
grown IN the place OF the old trees
tens VI centuries old that have been
destroyed 1t took more than 1900
years 10 mak- some OF the trees In
these western wOOdS-trees that are
still standing III perfect strength and
beauty. waving and surging in the
mighty forests Of the Sierra
Through all the wonderful eventful
centuries since Chrtst's time and long
before that God has cared for these
trees. saved them from drought. dis
ease. avalancheS and thousa nd strain
ing. leveline tetnpests and floods. but
Uncle Sam can do that
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
eoiivia's Electrical Storms,

owing to the peculiar Typographical!
formation Of Bolivia. electric and other
phenomena are OF constant occurrence.
the principal zone where such dis
turbances take place being the Att.
planfcie. or grand plateau. As the st-
mosphere IL heavily charged with cleo
trtc1ty both In summer and winter.
dry or electric storms are of frequent
occurrence both on the plateau and in
the valleys. Before the rainy season
sets in electrical accumulation becomes
considerable on the plateau region. its
most violent manifestations taking
place toward the eastern section OF the
tablelands An electrical storm in these
regions ts always a most imposing
spectacle. as the tremendous force Of
the wind. almost equal to hurricane,
and the heavy electrical accumulation
In the clouds produce terrible atmos
pheric explosions and violent detona-
tons. while the surface Of the ground
sparkles and crackles
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
SEEK THE BRIGHT SPOTS.
Ooo't Crouch IN the Gloom, but Look
Up and 30 an Optimist.

0oo't Crouch IN the Gloom. but Look
Up. and 30 an Optimist.
He who thinks the world Is full OF
good people and kindly blessings is
much rrhet than he who thinks the
contrary Each mans imagination
largely peoples the world for himself.
Some live in a world peopled with
princes Of the royal blood: some in q
world Of paupers and prtvation You
nave your choice.
This Is big. busy world 1t cares
precious little what you think of it or
what faults or troubles you find in it.
1t is choice that concerns yourself
more than all others combined. wheth.
er you crouch in the gloom. the com.
panion Of hateful COLLINS. or stride In
the sunshine, seeing smiles and catch.
ing shreds of song.
Men and women in Gods image were
not made as whining. groveling beings.
They were made to stand erect, men,
tally as we'll as physically; to labor
well and joyously; to take the gifts of
providence. whether they be Joy or sor
row. and bear them cheerfully and
with courage: to add ever something
to the worlds store of happiness. II it
be only smile.
Look up! See how flooded with sun.
shine this beautiful world is when
faced with smiling eyes
II you would win anything. do any,
thing no anvthinp don't vphino -
Christian Herald.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
No Business. Good Business.

Yes" said the quiet man. business
mas been good With me this week-or
bad don't know which you would
call it. l have been buster than the
company likes to have me-
What do you mean by that? Is
there an employer who does not like to
have his employees work. Could l get
job there! 1t seems to me that such
Il position would suit my temperament
exactly"
The company doesn't care to nave
anything doing in my department It
would De glad to pay me my salary
and never nave me do stroke Of
work."
What an ideal JOB! What Kind of a
place Is it?''
II am an adjuster OF death claims
for life insurance company. New
York Press
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
NAMES OF OUR EARTH.
Il Was Called Go BY the Greeks an
Z Iarrn hv the latins

It Was Called Go BY the Gresks and
4 Tsrra BY the Lstins.
Answering the question, who nam.
ed our planet the earth? Why could
It not have had romantic and beau
ufui name such AZ astronomers have
given to the planets Juptfes. Venus.
Mars or Neptune: Our planet alone
has the utilitartan, but DOT graceful
name the earth" Edgar Lucten LarktD
In the New York American says:
The good Anglo-SaxOn folk gave the
name earthe to this. our world. an0
the British dwindled the word down
to earth But u this not fully 40 ~
manuc as the name &c. given to It py
the Greeks. ana Terra BY the latins 7
&c is indeed commonplace. out Terra
Is highly romantic.
Classic mythology tells that Terra
was one Of the most ancient detues
and wife OF Uranus and mother OF
OceaDus. the Titans, Cyciopes. Giants.
Thea. Rhea. Themts. Phoebe, Tethys
and MnemOsyne. And she u the same
deity as Tellus hut Teilus was the
most ancient goddess after Chaos In
later mythlc ages she vas called oy
the exceedingly romanuc names Cy.
belle. Rhea. vesta Ceres. Tithea bona
Dea. Proserpine and others. And when
sailing under the euphonins titles she
passed through many very romantic
episodes. AT times she got into 70
mantle difficulties when circulating
around with other goddesses and gods
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
AMERICAN ACHIEVEMENTS.
Some Of the Big Things 20 the Credit
Of This Great Country.

Some Of the Big Things 70 the Credit
Of This Great Country.
Americans founded the first govern.
ment under which all men were equal
before the law. Since the Declaration
Of Independence was published to tue
world the democratic idea bas hourly
received impulse until now tts ruarch
seems irresistible.
Americans were the (1rst to demon
strate the feasibility OF relying on u
citizen soldiery to defend the land and
its institutions against foreign or do
nestle attack.
Americans were the frst to abolish
titular distinctions and to deprive So
ciai eminence Of any support save
character or the consensus OF those
who chose to consider themselves 90
cially elect
1t was an American VINO invented
the steamship
An American invented the telegraph
An American invented the telephone
An American invented the electric
light
An American invented the reaper
which makes It possible to feed the
billion and more people on this planet
1t was an American. too. who In
vented the sewing machine
Americans also were the conquerors
OF pain when they discovered how. by
means of sulphurtc ether, the tenderes,
human nerves could be made insenst
BILE to the surgeons steel
Americans opened the ports OF japan
to the nations Of the world. made q
path into darkest Africa. and ar
American crowned the geographical
achievements OF his countrymep BY
discovering the north poie.-Pittspurgt
Press,
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
AN ARCTIC DRAMA.
Playing to the Coolest House Known
IN Theatrical History.

Playing to the Coolest House Known
IN Theatrical History.
Many and many a play has had a
chilly reception But Imagine what 1t
must have been to witness play or to
be an actor therein in Il temperature "a
degrees below zero 1t was company
OF American sailors who made the rec
ord ut playing to the coolest house"
known in dramatic history.
DR. Kane. the famous arctic explorer,
told an audience at old Masonic hall
along in the tifties of play given at
An exceedingly low temperature by the
crew OF one Of the ships on the l4th of
February, 1851 The play was the
farce called The Mysteries and Mis-
cries OF New York"
The outside temperature was IS de
Erees below zero. In the ''theater'' it
was Is degrees below behind the scenes
and ~ degrees below where the au-
dience was seated One OF the sailors
had to enact the part, of Il damSei with
bare arms. and when a cold tiatfron
one OF the properties. touched his skin
the sensation was that of not iron
On Washtngton's birthday the crew
had another performance. Outside the
ships Thermometer was 46 degrees be
low zero Inside. By the hid of lamps,
1t was only 30 degrees below zero
THE condensation" said DR.. Kane.
was so excessive that we could bare
~ see the performers. They walked
In cloud Of vapor Volumes OF smoke
accompanied all vehemence OF deIiv,
cry, Their hands steamed When an
actor took of his coat it smoked like a
dish Of potatoes. "-lndianapolis News
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
Sandy's Advice.

At time when the Scots had con
siderably less love for their southern
neighbors than in these days father.
taking ieave Ut MS son. said: ..Sandy.
ma bairn. ye're ABBOTT tae gang no tae
Tendon. TAX tn siller ye can rrae
the English-ta' everything ye can rrae
them But mind We. Sandy. they're q
Draw fechtin people, Az be carefn' vi
them Never fecht nald mon Ter ye
Gamma catch MN by tn natr."-Ar
gOnaut
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
MADE HIM a PROFESSOR.

He Didn't Know Very Much, but Ais
Bluff Won tho Appointment.
In one OF the Japnnese papers are
some "reminiscences ut the war with
Russia. and among them Is the follow.
ing:
When peace was concluded between
Japan and Russia the study Of the
Japanese language became something
like craze among Russians. At Har
Din. for instance. Japanese were In
great demand as teachers of their
mother tongue. Many Japanese bar
bers and laundrymen shut up their
shops and became instructors of Japa-
nese
As In most cases the instruction was
not conducted on q systematic method.
many Russian students OF Japanese
only succeeded In acquiring smattpr
ing of the language
Then one day Japanese interpreter
who taught japanese to Russian rail
way men at Hardin received letter
from one OF his whtlom pupils asking
for q certificate of his proficiency. Az
a matter of fact. bis knowledge OF Jap.
anese does not extend beyond what
may be called ptdgin japanese. but a
certificate was forwarded to him as
requested
A few weeks later the interpreter
was surprised to receive letter from
the Russian informing him that be had
been engaged Dy the government as
professor OF Japanese at a monthly
salary of 500 rOnbles.-Japanese Chr0n
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
HUMoR OF LINCOLN.

How tho President Sized W the Con.
federate Forces.
A visitor once asked Lincoln now
many men the Confederates had in the
field The president replied very seri
ously:
Twelve hundred thousand. accord
ing to the best authority"
The visitor paIed as he said:
Good heavens!"
Yes. sir, 100000. No doubt of it,
You see, all OF our generals when they
get whipped say the enemy outnum.
bered them from three or i've to one.
and l must believe them. We have
100000 men In the field. and three
times four make twelve"
A delegation once waited upon Lin
coin to ask the appointment OF a Ger
tain man as commissioner to the Sand
wtcb islands. Besides his fitness for
the place. they urged his bad health.
But the president in reply said. Gen
tlemen. | am sorry to say that there
are eight other applicants for that
place. and they are all sicker than your
man"
A woman came to the White House
one day on an unusual errand, which
Lincoln suspected was u pretext, out
be took her at her word and gave her
the following note to a major OF the
quartermaster's department.: my dear
sir. the lady bearer OF this says she
has two sons who want to work Set
them at 1t If possible. Wanting to
work Is so rare merit that 1t should
be encouraged. A. Lincoln"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
The Retort Courteous.

ITO what am indebted for this Wis.,
it, sir?'' said the manager pompously.
ITO the fact that you are indebted
to our company for $7.75. which we
are getting tired Of waiting for" re-
piled the collector just as pompously
Detroit Free Press.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
The Practice OF kickina.

Kicking. like charity. should begin at
home. 1t ought to be the duty OF every
body at home to object. persistently
and effectively. to the specific over
crowded street car the badly paved
road. the encrOaching doorstep, the
neglected yard, the maIodorous cess
pool. the irresponsible motorcar and
the reckless raiIr"ad--especiaily II he
nave any personal part in the main
tenaDce OF similar abuses. Ii the ten
dency OF these evils were rightly an
pretended, it II part only OF the effor,
that ia expended presumably In uO
jecttng to the generali LIED. foreign and
futile subjects were bestowed on spe-
cif5c and tangible details, II we would
foreeo the emotional pleasure OF the
tmpersona' "muckrake" to assai, the
evil at our very feet-espetiaIly II each
one OF us were careful to avoid OF
Tense In matters OF the same kind
our country would surely be much
fairer one Unpopular Review.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
It Makes . Q,fferenea

IN Levers Charles OMalIey" the
her0's n"as1 while On MS way to
'inei. - ran nrenk the stem Ot q vine
glass NJ fifteen PAGES, wac tnet nc ma
friend and mentor with the comment.
Yes bnt the wtneglaSs hasn't pistol
IN its hand =
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
Coin Ahcasion

ny mere waste caused by coins rub
ping one against another the civilized
world. IT Ia said iO>t> one Ton and .
quarter of gold ana eighty eight tons of
silver annually
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
When Astronomy Was Youna.

When Astronomy Was Young.
The anclentS called Venus oy the
name OF HeSperuS when she was even
ing star and Oy tht. name Ut PhOs-
phorus when she was morning star. for
until her motions were studied II was
not known that the twO stars were one
and the same planet
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10

Sensible men show their sense By
saying much III few words. " Franklin.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
Japan AND the e,oure q.

mere are no tours nor Ills in Japan.
csc telephone directories .n"anS- the
names Of the tignrp four SIN is the
tern, for death.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
No Accent.

No Accent.
Many stories are told of former
Canadian bishop who had passed his
youth IN Scotland nut tlattered him
self that MOI hint OF his origin could
he gained from his speech or manner.
One day be met Scotchman. to
whom he said at last abruptly. Hoo
lang hae We been hereT
ABBOT sag years." was the reply.
"Hoot. mon" said the bishop sharp
" why tlae ye IA lost yer accent.
like MYSELF"
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1915-02-10
Scattered.

Pat was employed on an engineering
JOB few miles out OF the city and
was carried to DIS work BY an express
train. which accommodatingly slowed
up near the scene OF bis iabors One
morning. however. the train rushed
through the cut without reducing
speed. and the superintendent OF the
job looked In vain for Pat At last be
saw much battered freshman timptng
back down the ties and called to him:
Hello. Fat: Where did yon get or e.
rat turned stttt1y ana. waving OTIS
nand toward the steep embankmeDt.
sighed:
'Oh, all along nereT'-lire.