The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1915-01-07

and funny songs. It's perpetual
comedy for them
You sit at home, after hard days
work, and write, with the greatest
sincerity and often trouble. letter
OF complaint to my house. You are
very serious about 1t. What would
you think, how Inundated you would
feel, If you could see your letter, writ
ten so carefully by you, passed around
for sneering comments and laughing
Jests
And one OF my ine-dollar-a-week
clerks will turn to his stenographer
and say: Send this kicker form IL
letter" And the stenographer will
take an imitation form letter. write
your name at the top and stamp the
name of one Of the bosses as the sig
nature, and mail it to you. The letter
will read something like this:
Dear Friend:
We are very sorry to note that you are
displeased with your last order. We can
not understand how such "A mistake has
occurred. We paid particular attention
to the shipment of your order as we look
upon you as one of our most valued Gus
toners.
/ will attend personally to your next
order and see that 1t is put up in the very
best manner. We value your letters very
highly and look 10 hear from you with
pleasure.
Hoping you are we'll and wishing you
the compliments of the season, permit
me to sign myself.
Yours most sincerely,
Signed: (Name of the Boss)
Probably the boss is away in Eu-
rope or somewhere else. You will
note that the letter would apply to
anything, from the receipt of can OF
decayed tomatoes to broken chair.
It's all "hot air" These letters don't
mean anything. The manner in which
We avoided sending a duplicate of the
same letter to you when you sent in
the next kick, which We looked for
and expected, was in this way. We
kept big yellow envelope with all
of your letters and correspondence
orders, ETC., in 1t. On the front Of
the letter was a memorandum Of the
form letters that had been sent you.
For instance, when your next kick
was received the correspondent who
would get your letter would look on
the front Of the envelope and see that
you had been sent form -. So he
would reply to this new kick with
form IA, which would read something
like this:
Dear Friend:
I have just looked up your last order
and find that in the absence of Mr.. Blank
lthe boss that signed the other with
rubber stamp as proxy, who was I'M
avoidably out of the city when your or
der came in, your order was filled by
new employee. Just how the mistake &C.
cured we don't know. but l have dis
charged the person who handled the or
Ter
We want you to feel satisfied that we
are trying to give you our very best serv-
ce and II you have any further com
plants to make write direct to me. I
will give them my personal attention.
Send in another order as soon as you
AN. and l will see that 1t is taken care
".
We are having nice weather here and
nope you are having the same in your To-
,ality. Write soon.
Yours faithfully,
Signed: (Anothsr Boss)
You as an individual have no more
in my concern than
postage stamp. You are a ronentity,
,ou are only yellow envelope with
/ series of marks denoting the num-
,er Of kicks you have sent in.
But fattery goes a long ways. You
must be flattered, you must be ca
oiled. You must be given all and any
kinds Of promises, but none of them
will be kept. Your money IS what we
want. But | must try to make you
believe that you are great friend,
hat read your letters personally and
answer them.
Dear Friend-Its all bunk. For ev-
Try letter sent you. full of flattery and
nsincere statements and lies, there
ire thousands of others all over the
country who get exactly the same let
ers. I'll guarantee that many OF you
Who read these confessions by me
lave read letter after letter written
)y me and to which the name Of some
zig boss was signed with rubber
stamp. Or perhaps some little gum
chewing girl signed them with pen
md ink, writing the boss name.
Think 1t over.
All IN THE ARMY