davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
Home Rule for Cities

NJ EN- Works. Constitutional Convention
l urged thereto by Elihu Root has agreed
to consider Some Sort OF home rule for cities
but 1t Is SO devi!sliZed and handicapped that
il is unlikely TO be OF great value, save as a
beginning OF wise and needed reform
Cities. under the provision submitte ed. must
first vote atirma,ively that they desire new
charter; then the Mayor will appoint a
charter commission; the commissions md
ings must be submitted 10 and approved by
the voters and. finally. the charter bill must
be passed by the Legislature, which may
amend The instrument in any respect
That is a very qualified home rule rather
worse Than the method provided by Virginia
Tor Richmond TO escape her bonds We are
not as bad oil. in This respect, as some of us;
may have thought. Looking northward to
The downtroiden municipalities OF the Empire
State, we may smitc our breasts and thank
COD We are not as other men
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

The ma themat expert of the Norfolk Vr-
ginian-P Pilot. who Is not only n genius in the
line of figures. but something of n historian
withal. says: III there had been retained in
the Federal treasury during the last nifty wears
all the millions OF revenue which have been
paid out in pensions to persons who never fired
a gun in defense OF the flag, the government
would have on hand now accumulated fund
sufficient TO build navy greater than that OF
Great Britain and to maintain a system OF
army reserves equal TO the demands of any
probable emergency
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
splendid work in Kidding this section of race
places.-Portsmouth Star.

track gambling has boon duplicated at othor
places.-Portsmouth Star.
Subterfuges have served in
The Nation past years to halt adequate
for preparations for defense. Be-
Doso,so cause tho people themselves
were not aroused. because there
wero many persons who felt
that thcrc would mover be another great war
the obstructionists successful. The next
Congress. however. will meet undcr now condi-
tons The people Of the United States have
learned their lesson They not to DO fooled
now by the old cry OF trusts and monopolies
They are not going TO shy at tho thought that
when the government undertakes to put tho
country into n state of preparedness industry
may make reasonable profit and workinEmen
be given good Observation-Disclosures Post
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
Chats With Virginia Editors

We agree says the Clifton Forge Review
with the Chief of Police of Richmond in saw
ing that 'pingbat' Jones is entitled to a Car
negie medal, for he took a great risk with his
own life in saving others This incident is evil
dence within itself that heroes are not con
fined to battle fields and hattleships"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
Poor Timber for Mexico

IVY r. are frank to say that Carranza now
w most likely to receive the RECOGNITION
or this government and the Pan-American
conference OF all the Mexican factional lead
ers appears TO US least inspiring and cngag-
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
Real Dcnevolcncc.

There never was better man
Than Closefist. in his day;
He knew that money was a curse,
And so gave none away.
THE TATTLEP
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
He was not

Dog Days.
Will you explain for mo the meaning of the
term dog days? N r. G.
The Romans believed that Sirius (thc dog
starr, rising with the sum- added to his heat and
gave the name canicuares dies. whence our
dog dnys" to the period OF that concurrence
Roughly. the time ran from July to August
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
The PessImist SnyS.

The individual who starts again this wear
to find a comfortable hut Inexpensive. summer
resort is shining example of the triumph OF
hope over experience.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

Mr. Sam Blythe. who has travelled much
and seen all that was worth seeing has gone
to Mexico to ascertain conditions there 1t
will not be necessary for Mr. Blythe to pro-
tract his visit.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
Legal Eniinencc.

"Howler, I understand. is one of your civic
leaders"
II should say he is He leads nearly every
raid on the public crib"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
lie knew Too Much.

Gruhbs--Why didn't you join the crowd at the
club when Binks was relating his exploits on
his last fishing trip?
Stubbs-I the trip and didn't believe
I could stand the shock
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
Queries and Answers
4 Dntc.

4 DRte.
Please tell what day of the week was
January Is, 1856 SUBSCRIBER.
Sunday.
Randolph of Roanoke.
Was John Randolph Of Roanoke atheist?
S. w.
He was not.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

Published ever. day I'm the yenr by The Times
Dispatch Publishing Company. Inc. Address NIL
communications 10 THE TIMES DlSPATCH
Time tcii Ituildinf. 10 South Tenth Street
md
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

Villa is gradually becoming a monopolist
He locks up or shoots all native merchants
and expels foreigners in business in his sec
ton OF Mexico
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

What has become OF the dear, good woman
who used TO spend her vacations at home?
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

There is TO he" says the Norfolk Ledger-Dis-
patch, AN assembly OF the greatest citizens
at the San Francisco Exposition but we have
not seen any delegates named by Governor
Stuart for Virginia" We nominate Harvey
Wilson, Alvah Martin and Jimmy Trehy
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

Twelve different men in Haiti have been
Offered the presidency and declined. The
American habit has not yet reached that
revolutionary island.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

RIO Janeiro is acquiring quite thirst for
grape juice. 1t is apt TO make Rio feel
resigned.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

The ColoneIs latest Statement, should have
been signed, r. r.. per Sc ct al
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

An illustrated sermon on a screen in
Montclair, \. j.. church was such a success
that the vacation Of the minister is likely to
be extended.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
TELEPHONE, RANDOLPH I

Publication oihcc. 10 South Tenth street
south kirhmond. .......... 1000 HUH Street
PETERSBURG. ........ 100 North Sycamore street
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

Whether it he its own product or a borrowed
thought. the following from the editorial col
umn of the Southwest PulaskD Times is
thought worthy of a place in n scrapbook:
But the chief foe TO matrmony in our time is
the high cost OF living the of high liv-
ing. Too many girls less uncon-
sciously inclined toward the conviction that
their accepted suitors ought to able to spend
money ms freely the as their fathers
were able to spend it the finish, and they
ought to step from luxurious home into
another. Even when the girl loves deeply and
Is willing to make sacrifices the mans problem
OF putting himself in a position to support n
amly properly while he is still in the TWEEN
ties or early thrties is often n very serious
one. Under modern conditions matrlmony be-
comes more and more question of economics"
Here is a hit, OF its kind. from the Peters
patch tells OF three arrests for Illicit LIQUOR
day. 1t looks like Governor Stuart really ought
to do something about that town whose police
force seems unable to prevent violations of the
liquor laws Even Hopewcll, a city of some
thousands Of inhabitants. brought together
within the space OF n few weeks and from the
ends Of the earth, has been able to surpress
such violations Informed, and Hope-
we'll has police force of but six men," in
justice 10 the innocent editor of the Index -Ap-
peal. II should he explained that the above was
written and printed before Judge West and the
grand jury of Prince George County got busy
and before the police force Of IIopewcll got in
| Jail.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

Uncle Sam May Take Carranza Under His
wing Headline To put him under foot
would produce better results
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

THE TIMES. Founded. ...................1 1883
THE DISPArCH, Founded ................ 1850
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

For the second time President
Wilson has decided to call in the
ENJOYS Of the so-callnd A 3 C.
powers = Argentina. Brazil and
Sh'ie-to help out the United
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06
ilN,HRooK. STORY q BROOKS. me-

by Timr>-DiHrntch Carrier Delivery Service In
K'ci'nond tnnd suhurhs) md Ictcrsburgi
Daily with sunday. week. Is cents
Only without sunday, week. 10 cents
sunday cents
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-08-06

The next Governor of Virginia
has his work cut out for him.
He must take with him into his
high office the most solemn de-
termination to enforce the laws
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
MARRIAGE A VOCATION

Marriage should be looked upon as
a vocation and not mere avOcation,
argues one who signs himself Fem
mist" in an open letter to one Of the
daily papers. The writer, who had
been teacher but who is now q
mother, has been surprised that being
wife and mother is profession,
the successful performance of whose
duties requires all my effort and all
my time" Feminist thinks that wo-
men generally do not realize this or
refuse to. face it, that young women
contemplating matrimony should be
made to realize that they are choosing
profession quite as important as
medicine, law or business, and that, IL
possible, a preparatory course should
be required before granting the certifi-
cate to practice the profession of wife
and mother. This sounds very well,
and would be admirable if it could be
carried through. But as there are two
parties in marriage it would be very
one-sided if the woman received all
the training. A good stiff preparatory
course for the young man contemplate
ing the profession of husband and
father would be quite as much in or
der. If we have one, let us have the
other also.-Frances Frear, in Les
lies.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
SOAP

Soap is one of the distinguishing
marks of civilization. Smokeless pow
der is the other.
Soap does to dirt what cat does to
a flourishing colony of mice. Place q
large r cat with good appetite in
the midst of mouse mass meeting,
and in short time the rodent census
will not be worth taking. Place cake
of soap in the vicinity of week 8
collection of CRIME, and the latter dis
appears down the drain pipe in great
fear.
The savage may have good heart
and a pleasant disposition, but be-
cause he is not intimately acquainted
with soap he is received with reluc-
lance as neighbor by the fastidious
white man and is asked to stand
slightly to leeward, particularly on q
warm day. The said savage lives hap
ply in last years bath and an old
-four sack until he acquires the soap
habit. After this he achieves pants,
underwear, an Ingersoll watch, pas
sion for moving pictures and a good
understanding of the machine gun and
ward politics.
Soap is not a natural but an ac-
uuired habit. It is not relished by the
very young, except as food, and even
in this capacity it does not retain its
popularity. After baby has reached
out for beautiful, translucent cake
of pink soap, and has gorged it's sys-
TEN on this delicacy, he acquires q
distaste for the substance which fire.
quently lasts all his life.
Soaup is made of oils and alkalines,
and dissolves the tender outside skin,
which can then be rubbed off with q
towel, leaving fresh, new coat un-
derneatl1. However, to the average
boy of eight to twelve soap is made OF
nitric acid and bites right through the
skin into the heart. Those who have
seen a terror-stricken male child
shrieking with agony while his implac-
able mother is rubbing soap on his
ears are not impressed with the mild
sufferings of the Inquisition.
The more refined and Industrious
the citizen, the more soap he con-
sumes. The less refined and energetic
he is the more he shuns it and looks
upon it with ill-oncealed nervousness.
One small cake of soap will last q
tramp a lifetime. Tramps are very
careful of their hands and faces, and
do not want the nice, tender, integu-
ment broken up and removed with the
20 in.
side coat and sometimes the vest OF
the stomach with forty-rod whiskey.-
Geo. Fitch, in Judge.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
THE HOG

The Hog is an omnivOrous suoid
quadruped, whose principal occupation
is messing around in any old place
that isn't fenced in. The Hog has to
be kept in a pen; otherwise he will
stray into places where he doesn't be-
long and where he can not do any
good, and make himself general nui-
sance. Hogs have been educated to
do tricks, but no matter how much
schooling they have had they are still
Hogs, and never change their man
ners. Big Hogs are worth more than
little Hogs, especially after they have
been canned. Canning Hogs is more
profitable than raising Hogs, which
proves that dead Hogs are the more
valuable. The chief characteristic Of
the Hog is to root-he is not particu-
lar where. If Hog were to be turned
loose in an office he would poke
around desks, mess up private papers
and become a good DIAL of nuisance.
It wouldn't be exactly his fault, be-
cause he wouldn't have intelligence
enough to know the rewas nothing for
him to fatten on; he would just poke
about in a senseless way, grunting un-
Ineligible squeaks, and keep human
beings from doing their allotted tasks.
Don't be a Hog.-Maurice Switzer, in
Judge.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
A SPADES A SPADE

Why is it that woman who never
rides in a taxi always expects every
man she knows to provide one for her
when he takes her out? 49,.
Why is it that men who think that
only women property holders should
be granted the rights of woman suf-
afrge rarely if ever own property
themselves?
Why is it that the women who think
that all men are inferior expect SO
much of them?
Why is it that women who don't be-
lieve in indirect influence want the
vote "for their children?"
Why is it that women who don't be-
lieve in woman suffrage believe in in
direct influence?s
Why is it that men who say they
are only making money for the sake
of their wives never make it possible
to have a ONT checking account?
Why is it that the men who think
that women are superior expect so lit
tie of them? ..
Why is it that men like to put wo-
men on a pedestal, but fail to offer
them seats?
Why is it that women do not put
men on pedestals and give them all
the comforts of home?
Why is it that women who are in
business for themselves rarely ever
take husband to check them?
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
Their Rates

A young man who was with a party
of motor tourists making trip
through the mountains decided to stop
over in an attractive place for a few
days and went into the hotel to ascer-
tain the rates.
What are your rates?" he inquired.
"Seven dollars day, sir" was the
reply.
"If stay" went on the man, II shall
want a room on the parlor floor"
"That will cost you one dollar
extra" said the clerk.
81 shall also want room with a fire.
place where I can have a fire these
chilly evenings" .a.
zone dollar more, SIR
"And Of course" said the tourist, Il
want one with a bath ALSO"
"A dollar additional, sir"
"Well," said the man, thoughtfully,
chow much will you charge to let me
leave the hotel just as I am?"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
A Good Majority

A hospital surgeon was 1mparting
some clinical instruction to half a
dozen students who accompanied him
on his rounds. Pausing at the bedside
of a doubtful case, he said:
"Now, gentlemen, do you think this
is or is not case for operation"
One by one the students made their
diagnosis, and all of them came to the
conclusion that it was not.
"Well, gentlemen, you are all
wrong" said the wielder of the scalpel,
land I shall operate tomorrow"
mo, you won't" exclaimed the pa
tient, as he rose from his bed. "Six to
one is a good majority. Give me my
Clothes"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
Near ENOUGH

The late Mayor Gaynor, at lunch
con in Brooklyn, praised the many
wholesome attractions and amuse-
ments of New York.
"New York." said he, "is not one of
those cities where the citizens have
no place to go but back to work. Nor
is it like wretched town that linn
tied express was obliged to pull up at
one evening.
A passenger on this express, putting
his head out of the window, said to a
native:
my friend, what is the name Of this
dismal, dried-up, Heaven-forsaken
hole?"
"'That's near enough the detected
native answered. That's near enough.
Let her go at that"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
SECRET OF A GOOD COMPLEXION

The average person is easily duped.
If men buy gold bricks, women are as
easily swindled by the advertisements
of the beauty doctors. The postoffice
department has just called halt upon
a beauty shop in western city which
has been doing land office business
through the mails in the sale of a
complexion treatment to women sup
posed to be in fear of not being able
to retain the love of their husbands.
One of the letters which this beauty
shop sends to it's patrons begins as fol-
lows: whenever there is a woman
mentioned in a divorce case in nine
cases out of ten we find she had a
fairer complexion than the wife. Does
this not prove that a fair skin is the
greatest attraction that woman can
possess?" The woman who is i'm
pressed by this argument needs q
guardian, but there are thousands who
are taken in by such methods. For
their credulity they pay thousands of
dollars to INSCRIPTIONS beauty doctors
whose business the postoffice depart
ment is able now and again to sup
press as schemes for obtaining
money by means Of false and fraudu-
lent pretenses." When will women
learn that there is no royal road to
beauty? 1t takes more than facial
soaps or ointments or powders to
make a good complexion. Regular
habits, plenty of sleep, exercise and
fresh air, plain and nourishing food,
with all organs functioning properly,
producing good blood, are the common
sense ways to insure good complex
ion.-Frances Frear, in Leslie's.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27

4 A man went to order wedding cake
the other day.
"Pm getting married." he said, "and
I want CAKE"
"Well, it's the latest thing" said the
shopgirl, ITO have wedding cakes In
harmony with the bridegroom's calling
or profession. Thus a journalist has
a spice cake, a MUSICIAN an oat cake, an
athlete cup cake, man who loafs
on his friends a sponge cake, and SO
forth and so on. What is your calling,
please?"
II am pianist"
"Then, of course" said the girl,
you'll want a pound cake"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
Couldn't Follow Him

At a small country church a newly
married couple were receiving some
advice as to their future conduct.
"You must never both get cross at
once; it is the husbands duty to pro-
tect his wife; and wife must love and
obey her husband and follow him wher'
ever he goes"
"But, sir" pleaded the young bride
II haven't finished yet" remarked
the clergyman. "She must"
"But, please, sir, can't you alter that
last part? My husband is postman. u
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
From Irish Pastures

Gentleman (riding on jaunting car,
which is just passing a large mansion,
to driver)-"Who lives there, Pat?'
"Och! shure it's Mr.. O'Flaherty-but
he's daed.'' ..H-
"And what did he die of, Pat?"
"Faith, thin, he died of Tuesday"
"And how long has he been dead?"
"shure, yer honor, if he'd lived till
tomorrow he'd have been dade fort
night"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
Not To Be Picked

William, who was visiting his uncle,
passed one Sunday afternoon admir-.
ing the beautiful walks and scenic
views in the nearby park.
"Well, laddie," queried his uncle
when the boy returned to the house,
"what did you see IN the park?"
"Some of the most beautiful vistas
I ever saw" replied William.
"Ah, laddies," cautioned the old gen.
tleman, "but ye mustna pluck them;
it's against the rules"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
His Fond Hope

"The day isn't far distant when the
man in the flying machine will look
down upon the automobilist," said the
prophetic youth.
"And let us hope, too" replied the
weary old pedestrian, "that he'll fall
down on him, too"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
His Condition

The big red touring car struck a
pedestrian, rolling him in the mud and
maltreating him in general. The
owner ran back, greatly excited, after
stopping his car.
"Is he dead?" he asked anxiously of
the medical man who was attending
the victim.
ooh, no." replied the doctor, cheer
fully; "he's not dead-he's merely run
down."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
Hard TO Live up to Il

do you try to make home life pleas
ant for your SOM"
eyes," replied Father Corntossel.
"But it's mighty hard to live up to the
refined ways he insists on. I'm an
noyin' him terrible because when I'm
workin' around the barn I keep for
gettin' to refer to the hayloft as the
meZZanine floor"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27

Among the possible candidates
mentioned" for the republican
nomination for president the name
of the Hon. Joseph G. Cannon does
not appear. Yet Mr.. Cannon decend-
ed from the lame duck perch last
fall.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27

What the average woman thinks she
would do if she had plenty of money
is nothing in comparison to what she
does do because she hasn't got plenty
of money.
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
She'll Reform Him

Minister-"You say you are going
to marry a man to reform him. That
is noble. May I ask who 1t Isl"
Miss Beauti-"It's young Mr.. Bond
clipper" .
Indeed! I did not known he had
any bad habits"
"Yes, his friends say that he is be-
coming quite miserly."
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
A Mistake Somewhere

Mrs. Grumpps-"That book says that
marriages between widely different
races are always unhappy"
Mr.. Grumpps-"That's very strange.
I should think people who couldn't
understand each other might get along
very comfortably"
Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-04-27
What the Public Wanted

With Kisses and groans the audience
greeted the new play. All hope, then,
was at an end.
'Tt's hard to tell just what the pub
lie wants!" murmured the heartbroken
author.
It's easy enough to tell in this
case" said the manager, grimly. 1T
wants its money back"