davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Prediction and Practice.

"Bliggins regards himself as .
great weather prophet"
Yes. But he has to ask for the
loan Of an umbrella now and then
the same as anybody else"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Retort Discourtcous,

Pardon me, sir" said the lady in
the automobile
You nearly ran me down." retorted
the gentleman In the gutter. Why
don't you honk, you goose?"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
A Racer.

How fast is your car, Jimson?"
asked Harkaway.
Well said Unison, ut keeps about
six months ahead of my income gen.
orally. Harper Weekly.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02

Wifey-Here's an account OF a viii
lage parson who left the pulpit to
become an actor. l wonder what
could have induced him to do thing
like that?
Hubby-Perhaps he thought the do
be more liberal
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02

backward length % the rope. This
holds the rope more snugly about the
pasterns and iessens the chance OF
the animal stepping out OF the rope. A
steady pull by assistants on each side
will throw the animal. The hind legs
may be drawn TO the horses sides and
securely fastened.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
EAsllY Mended.

He-Theres too much caloric In this
soup.
She-Well, next time I'll tell
Bridget not to be so heavy-handed
with tho seasoning.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
No More Fairy Tales.

Children are getting all mixed
these days"
Whats on your mind?"
MY little nephew only knows Robin
Hood as a character in comic opera"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Oppoaita XleWa.

My dear, everybody says young
Staylate, who is counting our Jane, is
a coming man.
We'll, | would like him better II
he were more of a going one."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Unsettled.

Il hear that they belong to the
early settlers"
well, you wouldn't think SO IL you
could see the bill collectors climbing
their front steps. Judge.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Wlnos Puzzled Marion.

Little Marion was looking at the pic
ture of An angel Mamma she
aueried, how do they get their night
les on over theiy wingsr
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Easier the Harder.

do not fear work" said old man Dobbs
pitch In with brain and hand:
For you Will find that easy jobs
Are mighty hard to land"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02

Lord de Broke latter registering)-
Now. aw--my good fellow, what are
your terms?
Hotel Clerk latter reading name)-
Strictly cash in advance.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Time's Prints,

Lives of great sleuths oft remind us.
We can make our lives sublime.
And departing, leave behind us
Thumb-prints on the rolls of time.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
One Slioht Usefulness.

The Demon Rum is due to quit;
Yet as his grip relaxes
His foemen thoughtfully admit
He paid a lot of taxes.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Wrecklno a Superstition,

DO you think there is good luck
In picking up pin?'
Il doubt It, l picked up a hairpin
the other day and my wife found 1t
In my pocket"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Thu In No Ioka

Omar-A well-kno~n scientist says
that men who work live longest.
HeIny-Oh. ! donr know. II de-
~~nds on ~hom they try to work.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Contrary Process

They are taking queer ways to
smooth out prison life"
How do you mean?"
Il understand they have stopped
ironing the convicts."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
The One Fault.

I thought her features perfect,
And three times / did propose:
But at last Pm quite disillusoned-
/ really don't like her noes"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Between Friends.

Miss Overton-Mr. Gayboy told ne
| was true daughter of Eve.
Miss Younger-How very ungallant!
Miss Overton-Why do you say
that!
Miss Younger-Tm sure you don't
daughter
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Exceptiona.

so it has been decided that what.
trunk must be transported by the
railroads.
Even II it is an elephant's%
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
AppIjed Elatterv,

"My ANGEL" she exclaimed.
He moved uneasily. Few men like
such open fiattery.
But she told only the truth.
For he was backing her musical
show.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
An ACCOMPLISHED Woman.

Mistress here, Susan, can
write my name In the dust upon this
table.
Susan-Ah, mum, there's nothing
like eddication, is there mum?
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02

It's easier to win girls hand than
4 is to eat ner bread.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02
Correct.

Professor lin history was
Alexander III of Russia killed?
Presumably a bomb.
Professor-How do you account for
that?
Freshman = 1t exploded.-Punch
Bowl
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-07-02

Ginks--I saw = woman hold up .
train one night last week.
Bhnks-W1ere!
Ginks-At . society ball.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
HELPING THEM TO HELP
THEMSELVES

WITH Henry Ford completing plans for
w gigantic plant to manufacture tractor engines,
which will employ 10000 men; and model city
after his own IDEAS to provide them with homes,
still another field for his original brand of phian-
thropy will be opened.
Henry Ford is by his works. rapidly found
ing another huge American fortune, but which,
instead of being a menace to mankind and a
weapon of oppression, promises to be redundant
in blessings for his humble coaborerS who assist in
IFS creation.
Compare his course with that of John d.
Rockefeller Jr. who, with the most of his life
ahead of him. controls to all intenS and purposes,
the most colossal fortune in the world.
Should Rockefeller, backed by the tremendous
power of his fathers wealth. compared to which Mr..
Ford'S is insignificant inaugurate genuine policies
similar to FordS, the good he might accomplish
is beyond calculation.
Instead OF which he is following in the foot
steps of the man who wrung this greatest of for
tunes from the heart blood of the American peo-
pe-hS employees and fellow workers, who piled
il up dollar by dollar, each one at the cost of
mans sweat or a womanS tear who Is, in his
declining years, alone with his Millions except for
fawning sycophants lusting for a handful of the
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

you are n soldier, too"
Yes. there are 5000 women in
my army"
Five thousand women. want
to Join. I'm a homo guard"
What arc the duties OF home
guard?"
why, stay home and take care
Of tho regular soldiers wives"
Were you ever in n regular bat.
tie7"
Il lived with my mother-in.law
two years"
THAT easn't n battle"
mo. that was n riot"
Are you brave7"
II should say so. hadn't been
I'm the army two weeks before |
saved the entire regiment"
you did, How7"
II shot the cook"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
0. |. S. LETS 0. v. N. GAZE
UPON SOCIETY IN NEGL|GEE

CHICAGO. July Am over.
heated laundry stove gave lot OF
ordinary workingmen chance to
10 home tonight and regale friend
wife with the latest in lingerie. as
worn by the upper crust.
The o. l.. s. started a blaze In
the home OF +. A. Cudahy. presi.
dent OF the packing firm, on Bank
St, about the time the o. w. NJ.
were on their way to work.
The Cudahy home is in the rear
OF Mrs. Potter Palmer's mansion. A
lot moro Of the best families who
can afford TO sleep late live In that
neighborhood.
Anybody who has read newspa-
per stories of early morning fires
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

she wants painted on her ford
so she gets a man who makes a
Dizziness doing that TO look up her
family history
a. she tells that 90 her lawyer
who replys we'll there amt no harm
done In that and all you gotter dc
Ii to pay him when hes done
yea, replys tho dame. that's all
have been doing since he got good
and started. paying him money all
the time e. he says | will keep rite
on paying him az long as he needs
money
ono. that's all rong. you don't have
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

n. y. mundy-theres a swell dame
up In harlem who came tearing
downtown yesterday a. m. with an
awful holler to the lawyer next
door
a believe yours trolley she has
got a lesson learned that lots of
peepel ought 10 know 30 | will tell
you all about in hopes that sum OF
the rite parties get hep
this dame who has mrs andy
wheeler as name got tho sasiety
bug and got II 40 bad that abe aint
satisfied with nothing less than n
family pedigree and n crest which
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
A LESSON FOR QUICK LUNCHERS

MEYER COPLAN of Newberry, N. G., has prac-
A'A tically no stomach at ADJUST mere two
inches left of what in its day was one OF the finest
Stomachs in North Carolina.
Nor does Mr.. Coplan fret and worry and re-
fuse to be comforted He does mott He goes right
on living and having pretty good time
But being stomachless, he has to handle the
food problem differently than other humans do.
When eating meal he must choose easily digested
food, and he must stand all the time he is eating.
He takes a spoonful at a time, the meal extend
ing over two hours.
Our correspondent in Newberry does not tell
us what put Mr.. Copan's stomach on the junk
heap but more than likely il was an early formed
habit of quick lunching. We have an idea that
quick eating of meals can do more toward separat-
Ing man from a stomach than anything else.
All quick lunching is not done during the
noon hour Some of II crops up in the morning
when grabbing a-be-andhustling for-the-car is a
favorite breakfast sport And too the evening
meal is often eaten on the same me-a-mnute
program.
Notwithstanding the fact that Mr.. Coplan is
getting along without a stomach, we are still in
favor Of the old plan-one good healthy stomach
TO every man, woman or child.
PNEUMONIA is cross between a Palm Beach
nd 81 ind
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
WHY DOES THE POND DRY UP?

EDITOR THE STARE Please tell little boy why tho ponds
dry when the sun 10 hot Where does GOT
JAMES r.
The pond dries up In hot weather simply be-
cause the water changes places-it passes from the
bed of the pond into the air. is not lost, as some
small boys may think, for after a while II returns
as rain and refills the ponds
When water is exposed to air that does not
already contain all the water II can hold, the water
will disappear that is II will pass into the air in the
form of water-vapor. You will hear people say that
II has evaporated The hotter the air Is, the more
water II will hold though even il is not very hot
il will take up water il II has not already as much
as II can contain When the air has taken up all or
nearly ALL the water-vapor Il can hold and II some
atmospheric change lowers the temperature, the
water returns again from the air to the earth in the
form of dew or rain.
Ii enough of the water comes back the pond
and brooks will no longer be dry.
CLEVELAND wants to find missing banker named
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
TURTLE BITES TOE

CRAZE. Pa. July Miss Mae
Lesser. an ls-year-old girl. knows
how 1t feels TO haul a large snap
ping turtle out OF the water with
her large toe. With some other
girls. Miss Lesser was September
Morning I'm the silent stream that
gambols thru the outskirts OF
Gratz. She gave a scream when
the snapper seized her toe. and the
girls who were with her say she
went down into the water before
they were able TO get to the rescue.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

Il understand that the Mexican
factions will follow the lead of
the European nations and issue
an official statement OF the causes
leading to their several revolu-
tons"
Sort OF a Rainbow Book I
suppose Puck.
A prominent New York theatric-
oil man the other day told this story
OF how he was once fooled In Seat
tie.
We had melodrama, and be-
sides playing the leading role. |
acted as booking agent and bust
ness manager AS we made a hit
was in for some share OF popu-
larity. At that time there was an
autograph craze. ! found myself
signing photos and cards many
times during the day. Finally,
one Saturday afternoon, walked
into the theatre 10 find long row
OF people waiting for me. cash bear.
ing q amall card. Rapidly ! auto.
graphed each card.
What was my CONSERVATION. the
next performance, when I found all
these cards In the cash drawerl
On each one was wrltten-"Pass
bearer'"
a certain glen In Scotland
had the reputation Of having a
splendid echo. An Englishman
visited the place, and asked
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

TO pay him amy moro than you
agreed upon for your pedigree
! amt paying him for the pedi.
gree amy more I am paying him
not to tell what he found out about
some OF the crooked limbs In our
family tree. the lady says. and
want 20 stop him from climbing
further up in our family tree
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

can imagine the rest Some Of
those who saw the lightly clad
crowd said II was great.
oh, Yes, the fire didn't amouus
to a row OF pins. Z. A. Cudahx
jr.. put It out before the engine o.
there.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
noils the price Of human souls

spells, the price of human souls.
Instead of being beloved by his fellows, as he
might well be had he wrought upon Ford prin-
opeS, he is the most hated and deSpiSed of men.
Sad but alas true. striking parallel for young
Rockefeller to observe were his eyes not blinded
by scales of dross
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
johnny

Are you going TO have q gar
den this year,"
NO." replied Mr.. Growcher, ut
isn't my turn to make a garden.
I'm going TO keep chickens this
year and let my neighbors make
the garden"
The Indignant spendthrift
I took my spendthrift friend aside
And reasoned with the wastrel
thus:
by throwing money far and wide,
You'll never be a thrifty cuss.
mo matter what the wage you
earn,
You've got TO save a little bit:
You never can have coin to burn.
Unless you hoard part OF II.
The old suggestion stiii holds
good
IT'S wholly useless TO combat tt
You'll never save unless you should
Put money where you can't get
ut H."
And then my ne'er.do-well arose
And hurled this language thru
his hat.
why am | broke. do you suppose.
II had not been doing that7"
Strickland Gillian in Judge.
Desk Sergeant Olmstead-This
mans condition Ia not due to drink.
He's been drugged.
Patrolman ED Hagen Cunning
pale and speaking timidly) I'm
afraid ye're right. sir. drugged
him all the way--A matter OF 100
yards or more.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
A LITTLE BIT OF MOST ANYTHING {

HE guide about the echo.
"Just shout. Two bottles Of
whisky" said the guide.
The enplIshman did ~ re-
quested, and after waiting for
several minutes he turned TO
the Scot, and said:
But ! do not hear any echo"
Maybe no." ehuekIed tho
Scot, "but here's the Iassls
comm WI the whisky"
Without a Guide
Il went TO Jonesboro to see my
father and mother. the other day,
Percy"
by Jovel And how did you find
them?"
"oh, ! knew where they lived"
A Lovely Ride
you visited Venice while you
were In Europe, hear, Mrs.
Trotter7"
Eyes, Indeed; and we were
rowed about by one OF the chan
deliers for which the city 10
noted"
Benevolent Act
Magistrate Ito prisoner) You
we're caught In the act OF opening
bedroom window.
Prisoner-Yes, your worship: ]
believe in hygiene, and was only
going to open the window an inch
or two for the benefit OF the occu.
pants health. It's frlghtfully un.
healthy to sleep with your bedroom
widow completely shut up, your
worship.
The Alternative
When Sir Edward Carson's young
er son, who has inherited his IA
theirs aptness OF repartee. was up
for the navy, he was asked by an
examiner why he was not going "a
adopt his fathers profession.
Il suppose ! shall have 10 II
don't get thru this" he replied.
They passed him.
FROM VAUDEVILLE
Are you a soldler?"
You bet I'm soldier"
What kind OF n soldier arc
your"
I'm boy SLOUGH. But you say
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

ddate for governor Of Massachusetts on the "Brva,
Peace Democratic" ticket This is large free country
in which any he likes. Poor BRYAN I.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

IF THEY put Sherlock Holmes 10 work to diSeov,
who tried TO blow up Andy Carnegie he would sec
first among towns to which he has given librarie
Elemental Watson
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

ONE THING would like 10 have explained |,
why these experts call il "The Causelcss War then writ
five columns OF causes.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

CHICAGO Judge had TO adjourn when ne
that his wife had tripets lie ought have go
out an injunction against the stork.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

H. @. WELLS has written. explaining how to bea
the Germans. AS Mr. Wells discovered this war /.
years before started he is entitled to tell how to op !,
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

LICENSE clerk in Chicago, who has seen
than 10000 persons divorced. has announced his en-
ment.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

CLEVELAND wants to find missing banker named
Szentgyorgyl What did he disappear with the alphabet
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

UNITED STATES dollars are worth SlO2 in Io
don and before long won't be able to get one at an
price in this country.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

THE GEAR, having started for the front, is lik
10 find the front willing TO meet him than half "
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

BLIND Wellesley girl declares New York
beautiful, proving that she is blind beyond doubt
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

ODD, is il not, that the boy who doesn'
own dog almost always grows up TO be an old
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

PNEUMONIA is a cross between Palm Beach
suit and an east wind.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE SEATTLE STAR =$=&&z==
WHITFIELD TUCKER

WHITFIELD TUCKER announces himself az can
didate for governor Of Massachusetts the "Brvar
Peace Democratic" ticket This is a large free corin,,v
in which any he likes. Poor BRYAN (.
fated TO be godfather lot OF parties named after him
ONE THING would like 20 have explained 4;
why these experts call il "The Causeess War then r.
five columns OF
II. @. WELLS has written. explaining how to be,,
the Germans. As Mr.. Wells discovered this war ID
years before it started nc is entitled tell how to sion /,
IF THEY put Sherlock Holmes work 10 discover
who tried 10 blow up Andy Carnegie he would xeeL
first among towns which he has given il,rar;es
Elemental Watson.
CHICAGO Judge had to adjourn court when news
that his wife had trpets lie ought have gotten
out an injunction against the stork.
UNITED STATES dollars are worth Slo2 in Lon.
don and before long won't be able get one any
price in this country.
ODD, is il not, that the boy who doesn't care 10
dog almost always up to be old bachelor;
THE GEAR. having started for the 'front.' is likelv
10 find the front willing meet him than half way
LICENSE clerk in Chicago who has seen more
than 10000 persons divorced has announced his engage
BLIND Wellesley girl declares New York Il
beautiful proving that she is blind beyond doubt
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02
The Alternative
FROM VAUDEVILLE

Are you a soldler?"
You bet I'm n soldier"
What kind OF n soldier are
your"
I'm boy SLOUGH. But you say
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1915-07-02

EDITOR THE STAR; Plea tell little boy why ponds
dry when the 10 hot Where does tho GOT
JAMES p.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-07-16

Bethel school house is employed in the
store Of e. NJ Roberts Of Salem
Monday evening some from here at.
tended In the W. G.. 4. L. hall iu
SALEM where Bible lectures have been
given of evenings for q week or more.
A discourse 10y Elder VIM. HcaIy of
southern California was given. Your
representative is personally acquainted
with Mr. IIcaly. He is am lrisbmau
.note the uamel Of American birth but
never perpetratel an Irish bull nor
kissed the blarnev stone as is some
times done in Ireland He gave q fine
discourse, Tomorrow we an 20 TO
Salem TO see the Liberty Bell. Forty.
three years ago when attending school
m Philadelphia your correspondent saw
the old bell several times. II was
right ON my way to the post office and
! went into old Independence Hall ON
Chestnut street and saw the venerable
relic on It's pedestal in the front room
often. Also saw the old chair iu which
John Hancock sat as president OF the
conventions. Ar Hancock being ab.
sent at the time ! took the liberty of
sitting In the chair minute or two.
yet IL did uot gallapsc under the strain
of having held two such famous in.
hyiduaS Still one was only your
agent D0CIA
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1915-07-16
FRUITLAND NOTES

|Nprrlul To 'Npliul IuufhalI
FrWtuud, Or, July lt,--E, NJ Oberg
of Portland, representing the Western
Oregon Book and Colportagc Associa.
uou of the seventh Day Adventist
church. and Mr. Fchgairc, christian
worker visited here for few hours
Tuesday Mr. Obcrg is state agent of
Ibr above association.
Al Graham had the misfortune 10 get
one ot his horses cue In some unknown
manner the other Jay, tie was doing
some moving when noticing the horse
was bleeding boo one OF the fore legs.
On q closer Inspection he found "a
tiny stream of blsom squirting at every
pUsauou Being unable TO stauuth
the flow he had 20 unhitch aud band.
age the lex. lts d mystery 20 Al how
ihr tW was m0io probably by bit
nt wire but none could De seen.
HAY h1.wg has begun In the neigh.
UurhluJ
june bride, are also scarce article
hero though one ur two should have
shown up 10 Is now just the fourth
of July and tomorrow the Liberty Bell
will visit Salem, but still not wed,
ding bell lu FrmtIaud. But, girls, any
old time wlll DO as Ncll as June. aud II
the Young mcu are slow at popping the
question you can pop it yourselves.
Won need go wait till leap year.
Tom ,rahum is working in the
uc.ghborhooj Of Brooks.
Nr'ghoor NglIwan has treated his
Aoa'e 10 "a coat OF paint Il is a beau.
u'o. plum go,og crossed with an apple
brandy maroon.
sunday Morn, Ransom and family
wo'ofe1 Go Turner aud attended scry.
ut' tH Che tabernacle HE repor,
interesting meetings.
NJ Roberts who formerly owned a
.l-n lu lhf "ptn road west OF