The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1915-07-13
RECORD
Of SChOolboy HumOr Duly
Classified
philadelphia Evening Ledger

important fact-and one which has
been well Illuminated by recent events
1t is timely, information, too, that "to
germinate Is to become naturalized
German" From the same source-the
class in civil government-we receive
the reminder that "the President takes
the yoke of office"
The joke is on us. For, to quote a
schoolboy, "The press today is the
mouth-organ of the people," Which
in phraseology, suggests another boy s
description of how the cavalry swept
over "the eyebrow of the hill"
The reader is earnestly requested
not to apply the salic law to this com.
pilation: "The Salic law is that you
must take everything with a grain OF
salt" Many of these "howlers" are
taken from the notebook of the writer
who had experience as a high school
teacher. 1t should be added for the
sake of the boys that some of the
howlers were written by girls.
Now let us begin with the class in
civil government.
Il don't know anything about the
constitution, as ! was horn in Kansas. ."
"The minority is composed of the
minors"
"The spoils system: The place
where spoiled things and waste are
kept. The Board of Health has large
ly taken the place of this"
AN ex post facto law is one that
gives officers a right to go to foreign
countries and get criminals, dead or
alive, and take them back to the place
where the crimes of the father de-
scend to his children; they are pun
ished for him."
benjamin Franklin is the founder
of electricity"
George Washington was a land saw.
ory."
Lord Raleigh was the first man to
see the invisible Armada" (English.)
"Tennyson wrote In Memorandum" ="
"Tennyson also wrote poem called
Graves Energy"
Louis XVI. was gelatined during
the French Revolution"
Ben Johnson is one of the three
highest mountains of Scotland"
George Eliot left a wife and chill
dren to mourn his genli"
Henry !. died Of eating Palfreys."
Caesar was King and went high
up on mountain"
Lincoln had a woman make him n
suit of homespun from rails which he
had split. They were hickory rails,
hence hickory shirts"
Franklin produced electricity by
rubbing cats backwards"
Where poisoning by acids is caused
the blood should be Immediately drawn
from the bruises to send back the
acid"
IF a schoolroom is without ventila-
tion how are the pupils to study with
the fowl air pressed down upon them;
it makes them oftentimes sick and in
clinod to laziness."
The blood vessels are the veins.
arteries and artilleries."
You might think from these quota
tons that the brain really is "a soft
bunch OF covered wrinkles" Or per-
haps your conclusion would agree with
this; "The bones of the blood are the
cerehrum, the cerebellum and other
small bones"
Reflex action is when anything is
one direction and it turns in
the other"
The man who eats too fast or too
well may be interested to know that
the heart is located in the left part
Of the stomach in a loose membrane
sack"
"a deacon is the lowest kind of
Christian"
May day commentaries the land
ng OF the Mayflower."
"The Boxers were Corbett, Fitzsim-
mons and Bill Johnson" ("Were" is
"A renegade is man who kills a
King"
I'm India a man out of cask may not
marry a woman out of another cask."
THE Pharisees were people who lik-
I'd to show off their goodness by pray
ne in synonyms"
Modern conveniences: Incubators
md fireless telegraphy."
"A lie is an aversion to the truth"
All, an epigramD
"The German Emperor has been
,alled the Geyser." (Worse than that
And now, gentle reader. school is dis
missed for the day.