Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1915-09-08

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Their Names Were Mile and TllIIe."
was sleeping as noisily as possible.
and when / started up the stepladder
he began to render Mendelssohn's
obbligato for the trombone in the key
Of G.
Above the roar OF the train from
away off in lower No. family | could
hear an answering bugle call.
climbed up prepared for the worst
and in the twinkling of an eye the
porter removed the stepladder and
there l was, sitting on the perilous
edge OF my pantry shelf with nothing
to comfort me save the exhaust OF a
professional snorer.
After about five minutes devoted to
parade OF all my sins. began to
try to extract my personality from my
coat, but when l pushed my arm up
in the air to get the sleeve loose my
knuckle struck the hardwood finish
and / fell backward on the cast-iron
pillows, breathing hoarsely like a
busy iackrabbit.
l waited about ten minutes while
my brain was bobbing back and forth
with the excitement OF running fifty
miles an hour over a careless part OF
the country. and then l cautiously
tried TO approach my shoe laces.
Say! II you're a man and you
weigh in the neighborhood OF 200
pounds, most of which is in the re-
gion OF the equator, you will appre-
ciate what 1t means to lie on your
back in an upper berth and try to get
your shoes off
And this goes double for the man
who weighs more than 200 pounds.
Every time ! reached for my feet
to get my shoes off / bumped my
head off; so / decided that in order
to keep my head on had better keep
my shoes on also.
Then / tried to divorce my suspend
ers from my shoulders but Just as +
got the suspenders half way over my
head / struck my crazy bone on the
rafters. and there I was, suspendered
between heaven and earth, but pray
ing with all my heart for a bottle of
arnica.
Finally I decided TO sleep as ma.
including my rubbers.
So stretched out. but Just then the
train struck curve and went up in
the air till the ceiling hit me, and
then / bounced over to the edge OF
the Drecipice and hung there. trem.
bling on the verge.
Below me all was dark and gloomy.
and only by the hoarse groans OF the
snorers could / tell that the Pullman
company was still making money.
Luck was with me, however for Just
then the train struck an inshoot
curve which pushed me 90 the wall.
and bumped my head so completely
that ! fell asleep.
When woke up a small package
OF daylight was peeping into the car.
so ! decided TO descend from my cup
board shelf at once
! peeped out through the aluminium
curtains but there was no sign NJ
the colored porter and the stepladder
was invisible 10 the naked eye.
The car was peaceful now with the
exception Of Il gent in lower No. 4.
who had strangle hold on a Bee.
thoven sonata and was beating the
cadence out OF Il.
made a short prayer and concIud
cd 10 fan out. but iust then one OF my
feet rested on something solid: so 7
put both feet on II and began TO step
down
Alas. however. tho moment put
my weight on IT my stepping stone
gave way and I fell overheard With q
splash.
How dare you pot your feet on my
head?' yelled the man on the ground
noor OF my bedroom
Excuse me. 70 felt like something
wooden" I whispered. while I dashed
madly for the smoker
From that day TO this / have never
been able to look Pullman car in the
face. and whenever anybody mentions
an upper berth TO me lose my pres.
ence Of mind and get peeyish.
If YOU have ever been there your
self I know you don't blame met
DO you?