Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1915-10-15

a dozen times, and ii tell you when to
jump off"
Everybody looked at him. while some
deluded him with smiles meant to be
encouraging. He slowed away his
satchel and removed an old SLOUGH hat
he had been wearing.
There was woman sitting alone
few seats down the aisle. She had an
umbrella, a bundle secured with
shawl strap and two or three parcels
on the seat, and as Uncle Jerry passed
down the aisle he stopped before her
and cheerfully observed:
Face kinder familiar to me, but 1
can't remember your name Never
been much of hand at remembering
names, anyhow. Husband flew around
and helped We to git ready, suppose?
Leave the children all right? Been lots
O measles around this year. Didn't
leave the outside cellar door open, did
yeT
Il don't know ye," she said as she
looked up.
What! Hain't We Hammer Jones of
Jones Crossroads"
mo, sir
"Waal, | SNOW! I'd bet a two-year-
old steer agin cider bar'l that We
was
The next one he accosted was a man
fully as old as himself whose crown
was bald and who wore spectacles. He
was reading a letter. which he had TAX
en- from Il corn cOlored envelope, when
Uncle Jerry gave him playful poke
in the ribs and called out:
Lands, you look just like my broth
er Bill across the back and head. Coin
somewhat, s'pose."
who did that?" testify exclaimed
the old man as he looked up.
Il kinder poked We, but it hain't
nuthin' to git mad at" replied Uncle
Jerry. Folks all we'll at home, hope
How'd yer taters keep last winter?
Hear any demand fur turnips lately?"
Il want you to stop, l say!' yelled
the old man as he waved his arms
around.
Then | will. If We are so techy as
all that | don't want nuthin' to do
with ye. Lucky that We hain't goin' to
run fur supervisor in my town. You
wouldn't git a blamed vote Howdy
do, naybur?"
This last remark was addressed to a
rather savage looking man with weed
bic ho
zine
Il warn you to go on" said the man.
I'm wicked! I'm tuff! I'll hurt ye!"
'By squash, but what Teller We be!
Haul right off and PUNK me cause
want to be friendly, eh?
He seemed to be a bit discouraged
for a moment, but presently his eye
caught the figures of two females at
the far end of the car, and he edged
along down to see if anything was
wanted in his line The two were
mother and daughter, and the latter
didn't look well.
Did she fall down the cellar stairs
or pitch off the haymow?' kindly in
quired Uncle Jerry as he sat down on
the rail of the seat.
Are We speakin of me darter?" de-
manded the mother.
"Zactly. Doesn't look just right for
this time of the year. If I'd only
thought I'd brung along bunch O.
mayweed and told We how to make tea
of it. Beats all creation how mayweed
takes the kinks out of the system. She
amt in luv, is sheY'
Sir"
"Naybur O. mine had gal about her
age who began to ravel out and fade
away. They put horseradish drafts to
her feet. mustard plasters to her neck
and dosed her with catnip, mayweed
off and fade in the wash and finally
died. When too late they diskivered
she had all along bin in luv with Bill
Halves, my hired man, who was so
gaul burned bashful that he dassn't
say word about it. Better begin to
hunt around the grass and see if some
thin of that sort amt troublin' her.
You old critter, so away from here
with yer blarney or I'll be the death OF
ye. shouted the mother, and as re
jumped back she pulled the girl out
into the aisle beside her and waved
her umbrella in threatening manner
wv what's the rumpus now?" gasp
ed Uncle Jerry in great establishment
''If We don't go I'll call the police
WAL, by gum, if | was to tell this
to Lucy when | git home she'd say |
fell asleep and had the nightmare
Don't none o We seem to want to be
sympathized with. I'll go. I'll git
right away. and If had hull sack
of dried catnip and two dozen red pep
pers here I'd let the whole caboodle Of
We suffer. WAL, | just won't say an.
other word. I'm dished If I dew"
New Type of ProdisaI.
"The people in HIS home town said
he never couid CT would amount to any.
thing"
"And now he's rich. l presume he
went back and paid off the mortgage
on the home place or something of
that sort"
mo. The old home place wasn't
mortgaged. He went back and de-
moralized his good old parents by Civ.
ing them a high power automobile
Now they are the worst speeders in
town. Birmingham Age-TIerald.