Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1915-03-02
BANQUET BY THE WEBSTER
CITY COMMERCIAL LEAGUE

,, is worth a dollar a day from his jaw
down and is worth from his jaw up
just as much as he can make it., and
the extention work of the college
is to add to the value of the man
from the jaw up.
O. J. Henderson elucidated upon
"Draining Webster City," The
POSTMASTER had said that during
the incumbency of Mr.. Henderson Of
the county attorneys office, he had
succeeded in draining Webster City
and recent records showed that he
was still draining the town. Mr..
Henderson observed that the toast
master reminded him of a story go
ing the rounds some years ago about
Chauncey Depew and Tom Reed.
These two celebrated men were at
banquet and Mr.. Reed said he al
ways liked to be at a banquet with
Mr.. Depew, because he was always
assured that when in went a sup
per out came speech. Mr.. Depew
returned the compliment to Mr..
Reed, saying that Mr.. Reed had re-
versed this order by gaining the rep
utation that when he put in a speech
out comes supper. Mr.. Henderson
said many good things of Webster
City and Iowa. He also declared he
was glad to know that on the first
of next January Fort Dodge was to
be as thoroughly drained as Webster
City was at present. AS an indica-
ton Of the sentiment Of the large
crowd listening to his address, his
prophecy that in ten years the en-
tire United States would be as dry as
Iowa would be next January, as
result of the recent action of the leg
islature, brought forth vociferous
and prolonged applause. The speak
err then told of how the POSTMASTER
had been accused of being a Nor
wegian, and had never even denied
the impeachment.
Mr.. Sparboe said he had heard
that it was a great man who could
make two blades of grass grow
where only one grew before, but he
thought Mr.. Henderson had the rec
ord beaten, as he could make two
lemons grow where none grew be-
fore and could hand them both to
fellow very effectively. The toast
master then decorated Mr.. Hender-
son with the iron cross, upon which
was inscribed, patriotic Member Of
the Limburger Guards" and present.
ed another to Mr.. Prince with
large short horn carved upon it.
Edmond Perkins of Chicago, presi-
dent of the National Drainage Asso-
citation, occupied the time of NJ. P.
Chumleau of Fort Dodge, who was
on the program for a toast. He said
he did not know why he was asked
to speak and it reminded him of an
observation once made by Justice
Brewer, who declared that he sup
posed the president of the United
States wanted a Brewer upon the
bench so the court would always be
full. But no matter how full the
court might be the chief justice was
sure to be Fuller. Mr.. Perkins said
that he did not know what to talk
about, but thought those present
would like to have him talk about
a minute. He paid fine compliment
to the drainage association of Iowa
and to the work they were doing.
Rev. H. L. Haywood was asked to
supply for l.. E. Bladine of the Ce-
dar Falls Record, who was unable to
be present. Mr.. Haywood said his
position reminded him of circum-
stance related of Missouri farm
er going to town with a load of ap-
! Piles. While going up long hill
leak was sprung in the wagon box
and all the apples rolled out. After
going down the hill upon the other
side the wagon became stuck in the
mud. The farmer turned around
| in his seat and observing that his ap
pies were gone remarked: stuck
and nothing to unload" Mr.. Hay
wood bore testimony to the good
work of drainage and observed that
great improvement had been made
since the days of Adam and Eve,
who were really the first agricul-
turists, or rather the first fruit
growers. The POSTMASTER thought
Mr.. Haywood was right in his first
classification of Adam and Eve as
farmers. Because, you know" he
observed, "they raised Cain
The glee club then sang the fol-
lowing, entitled "The Right Place:
It's swell place, this Webster City:
It's fine place to go.
It's a sure way to Webster City,
To the best old town know.
Hurrah, for Webster City;
. We're all on the square.