Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1915-11-16

''She didn't have 'em before our
Sagensent was announced" the
young man protested to his sister.
..Nine hundred and eleven-that,s tho
number of Susie's loving relatives to
date. They've sprung up like mush-
rooms and each one is bound and
determined to congratulate mel"
You'd be mad If they didn't" eug-
gested his sister. 80 why fussT'
ing sheaf of letters from his
pocket. There are all thesel And
they call me Dear Frederick Am
/ obliged to answer EN- and what do
I call EN-? First names?"
Certainly" said his sister. You
thank them heartily for their good
wishes. And first names, of course!
You must reciprocate."
The young man groaned. 'fWhat"
he sputtered. How can / say Dear
Oscar. to a large, stout gentleman of
times and still have enough left to
tip a chauffeur? 1t seems rude! Be-
sides, there was one bit of Oscars
letter / didn't like. He said, Of
course, Susie had always been the
beauty Of the family and perhaps
they had set their mark for her too
too high, but they would try and hope
for the best and / was young and
naturally / might turn out differently
after ALT"
stThat,s nothing" said his sister.
wait till Susie's mother begins tell
ing you of the splendid matrimonial
chances she threw away OF course
she will That's part Of the ceremony
attendant on becoming engaged!
that the family weren't grabbing you
or anything like that! Treat him
nicely!"
Then there's one from Cousin Ed
ill.," mourned the young man. She
says she never saw anything like the
bravery of Susie coming down to a
six room fiat after that French cha
teau she could have had just as well
as not IL she hadn't been so fussy
over the counts having cross-eyes
and being only five feet tall-and
then his age. Girls. Cousin Edith
too late And she is sure she hopes
we will be very happy, affectionately
yours Now what"
She's showing you what a prize
you're getting" explained the young
mans sister IF you are appropri-
ately humble in your reply she'll send
you q room size oriental rug for q
wedding present. And you and Su-
sic might just as well have it as not!
Cousin Edith is going to will all her
money to a nome Tor cats and dogs,
so it's perfectly justifiable to divert
some OF it into useful family channels
If you can. You must use discretion
and tact!"
''Wowiei" gasped the young man,
did getting married teach you all
this?'
"Uh huh!" admitted his sister.
John had six brothers and sisters.
you know. and a lot of in-laws!
When you go to family gatherings
collected for the express purpose of
looking you over get your face fixed
the way you want it before you leave
homo and then recite poetry to your
self all the while so that you can
hold the expression. You won't have
to talk. They merely want to inspect
you and sigh and make soto voce
remarks about the dear count and
that young lawyer who was so de-
voted to Susie two years at the lake,
and what a string of company the
dear girl always has had! It's bad
form. however. for you to mention
anything about the girls who have
been IN love with you'll"
IT see," said the young man. I'm
the goat! Then I meet 'em on the
street! If they are older than 1 they
slap me on the back and congratu-
late me and then they always man
age to ask what salary I am getting.
If they are younger they say, fred
die, ole boy, how old are you, any
how% They haven't asked me yet