New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-07-11
By SAMUEL HOPKINS ADAMS.

By SAMUEL HOPKINS ADAMS.
1t stands on the Broadway just below FOrrst Street
Look for particularly u show you miss the place
within are watches clocks junk and bunk with few gnu-
bait Financial disaster hOvers like crested wave above
collection
We are Broke Watham Watches Almost Away
Creditors Forcing Us for Money
Terrific Smash A Terrific Blow! Everything Must Co.
Merchandise Slaughtered
Creditors Want Money. Everything at Slaughter
glazing handpr OF red blue ana
black Yet there these and their accom-
panying Rather the note one of devilmacare
GOOD humor You are invited grin heerfuness come in on
the deug and share Don't DOnthat u.s. unless
you care these aluring paards do
walked along Broadway recently those signs reached out and
took me by the eye particular seemed promising ran like
this clear black print except one important word;
ALARM WARRANTED
CLOCKS SOC
BEHIND stood Big Ben hanked by sleep destrOyers
Now Big Ben article and sells for $3.50 normally To
get one for 90 like finding So went in deal
There leaned across the bndest blondes have
ever seen on either foohs To her poered request
for With bored air she thrust forth at me
sadfad timekeeper labelled Germany 1t looked as if
might have been put by British nc antGeman sentiment
whats the larger in the Window" asked
ooh that's Big faint interest manifested itself
look it. 1t seems better % cents worth sn
UPWARDS WITH ACCENT ON THE UP.
scorn was nv portion observation Dyou
think you're getting Big Ben for sxt-nlne cents?
According the sign in the window
Bplurrph Ths the best that the limitations newspaper
type permit reproducing her snOr) Sixtne cents
rp~ards UPWARDSN Do you get it,"
had outside get it. Sure enough under n
legend alarm placard stood SMALL dim upwards
ed in penc So the sign actually sharp alarm
Clocks nwardWarraned- Cents" Now Clocks upwards
might be subject mnerpon but didn't attempt to argue the
[ With the blonde Somehow felt misgvng she wasn't
the sort of lady person of mild disposition safely debates
Besides there matter in that window For example
[ ~ 1ngerson watches at IS cents because impending dis
solution feet due northwest precisely the same
marked 70 cents the given for the latter bargain beng the
pressing need of
Returning to the blonde adyshe my have
grown even bon while that CHASTITY faced 69cent
whzzer into negotiation for Ingerso watch
"Ingerson? Eighty-fve cents"
regular Ingersol?"
Regular and warranted Everything here cut price,
"HOw much did you say was"
But says right here in the they're cents
because you need money you need the money!"
"Ah have it your way" said the blonde lady impatienty
and look at the sign yourself"
T your it." Obviously she burning to be rid
literal minded customer to offer opportunity for real
profit
"Sevenynne n yawned with the air of disdain-
further against obstinate ureaSOn and passed over the
%In take that and the 69cen clock" handing bill
RINGING SOME CHANGES sHORT-CHANGE GAME
Then began attempt horthang pathetic in its simplicity
place wasn't enough the place to extract
change While this being procured the blonde lady
remained did sell jewled
watch or phony ring vous But the cash
started in with spirit worthy of higher finance to do me
of the vast sum OF SIX cents Ihree % DS Sh gave me- some ooSe
silver and a copper.
"oneffyfour she began, "and is One-ffty-fve"-
onefy four?"
"Why, eightyfve cents for the watch
81 thought marked seventynne cents"
Eighty five" said she firmly
n the window"
"Oh that's right sold Eany eightyfve it's habit"
for the watch and xynne for the alarm
clock"
That's right Suddenly her air and voice took amused
vvaciv "Say! figures twisted! 1t amt onefyour It's
more than myself Whaddye know about hat?"
By this time fairly bewded Getting hold of pencil
dollar and fortyeight
~ was sure cheating myself" chucked the uabOnde with
gagng air of selfderison
"No don't think it yourself you cheating" suggested
ROAST.
Mirth plastic face like mask The glare her
said as plainly What nnuate?"
Before it speech hastily advanced little
probe in simple addition ignored She had produced
pnc absorbed computation From where stood
her first proposition appeared to be:
O 6-with -one-to