The Winslow mail., 1915-07-30

Wanfed---
A ProUerb

BY Leroy Wallingford

(COpyrlght by Paget Newspaper Ser)
1t was Fernley who undertook the
regeneration of Morrison. Fernley
pursued new breakfast foods and the
simple life, but he carried enough
proverbs to fit any situation that STUN
bling humanity might get into On
this account Morrison attracted him.
The majority Of the proverbs appear
to have been especially constructed
for people who dig the hard rows In
this life, and it looked as if Morrison
was wrestling with Panama canal
with only blunt garden hoe to help
him along.
The other clerks in Aaronstein's pit
led Morrison, but they did not bother
to acquaint him of the fact. They had
a dim idea that pity and advice are
poor things to offer to a man who is
wrestling with a heavyweight drink
craving, but Fernley thought different.
He had tremendous faith in his pro-
verbs. He loaded himself with them
Sach morning, and he became a sort
OF human Gatling that fired adages at
Morrison every time that unfortunate
got within hearing range.
"The darkest hour is that before
the dawn" he would whisper as he
tiptoed UP to Morrison's desk to col
lect the sales slips. Then, as the
thirsty one handed him the bundle he
would add: "It's a long lane that has
no turning and always remember
That the Lord helps those who help
themselves
Morrison was inclined to think that
his lane ran in a circle, and he had
hig doubts whether Providence would
cooperate with him as Fernley sug-
gested, but he allowe:1 The nroverb-
FOUNDER to fire away without Interrupt
ton.
1t was on the days Immediately pre-
ceding pay day that Morrison's condi-
tion became especially noticeable. At
this time of the week the saloon ex-
ercised a greater pulling power than
the restaurants, and as Morrison was
performing financial handSprings in
an endeavor to make cup and lip meet
as often as possible till he received
his pay, his physique suffered as well
as his morals.
Then an idea came to Fernley. He
tried to induce Morrison to buy COM
muter's ticket at the restaurant so that
he would be protected against hunger
when the drink craving ransacked the
treasury in the latter part of the week.
1t was good of Fernley. He picked
out the weightiest of his proverbs, and
morning and night he flung "The Lord
helps those who help themselves"
argument at the head of the suffering
one. The drink demon within Nor
rison objected strongly to the prepay
ment of three dollars for food, but
Fernley was insistent He urged Nor
rison to make fight; to stand up and
let the Almighty Sc that he was in the
ring and finally the sufferer consented.
Fernley was delighted. Pay day
came on the following Saturday, and
lest the devil might obtain a jiu-jitsu
grip on the morally weak one, he cor
rallied his man the moment he was
paid, and he never stopped bolstering
him with the proverb that urged
heavenly cooperation till Morrison
paid over three dollars to the Tee
totalers cafe and received in exchange
a red ticket emitting him to twenty
one meals. Ferndley once more ad-
ministered the proverb in solemn
tones and then satisfied that he had
out-witted the devil he walked gaily
homeward.
On that evening Morrison's drink
demon held high festival 1t claimed
the money remaining after his room
and food had been paid for, and Nor
rison spent it freely, but he kept a
firm grip on his meal ticket.
Monday morning when Fernley
reached the office he saw Morrison sit
ting with his head bowed in utter de-
lection, and surprised at the others
attitude he stepped quietly over and
tapped him on the shoulder. Morrison
lifted his head and two bloodshot eyes
started accusingly at the proverb-
FOUNDER.
"The Lord helps those" began
Fernley, but Morrison stopped him
with an angry gesture. Fernley was
astonished.
Morrison tried to speak, but his dry
tongue refused to mold the word, SO
he grasped his pen, wrote rapidly and
pushed the sheet across to Fernley,
who read these words:
"The Tee-totaler's cafe burned to
the ground yesterday morning and my
three-dollar commuters ticket isn't
worth a tinker's damn"
AS Fernley finished reading Morri-
son gained the use of his tongue.
''If you've got proverb that 1 can
swap for sandwich, trot it out.
haven't tasted food for twenty-four