The Washington times., 1915-03-05
The Outside World
(Bg Diplomatic Social and War As Viewed At the Train
ing Tabe)
Bv BUGS" BAER.
ing Table.)

You dumb birds can
hammer Pittsburgh all you wantta.
That towns good enough for this or
bird any Of time.
ENGEL-Well, bone. why didn't yuh
stay in Pittsburgh? They gotta
good free lunch emporium there.
SHAW-Oh! Me and an Andy Carnegie
couldn't team up. busted tn OIL
bird In tn beak with a high inshoot
and blew.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS yuh think Of the
way they're hitting that Carnegie
bird? They're hammerin' that old
dove of peace all over the lot.
BOEHLING-It amt Carncgie's bone
play. it's these birds in the State
Department. This guy Bryan is
tryin' to make Europe think the
dove of peace is an eagle, and
they're lowbridgin' HIN.
ENGEL-You gotta hand the Kaiser
credit. That Of boy went in cold.
and has got 'em spiking the water
bucket.
MORGAN-Aw-w, can't see that sub
marine stuff. Those low babies ON
the outside always was my jinx.
ENGEL-Heehce! Never saw you
Dustin any Zeppclins. either.
MORGAN-When a regular batter bawls
me. III condesccnd to answer him.
ENGEL-Profcssional jealousy is an
awful thing.
good air that a good man might be
breathing.
BE%NTLEY-What l can't figure out is
what is one of those shrapnel things
the Gar is using.
HARPER-D Didn't yuh ever see Mel
Gallia pitch?
BENTLEY-Not unless I was compelled
to. What I can't figure Is what
they're going to do with the Sultans $
wives.
ENGEI,-You might write to Rube Mar
guard about It.
SHAW-That Sultan guy looks like he
was going to forfeit his franchise In
the big league. Those allies got tn
Darning Needles sewn UP.
HARPER-Darning Needles? Darning
Needles? who do you think You are?
Sister Susie?
MORGAN-Wish Sister Susie would stop
sewing shirts for those soldiers and
make me one. Those rubber shirts
are fierce
HENRY-N'ell you can't pull the Stuy
vesant Fish stuff all winter and ex-
pect to keep your youthful figure.
MRGAN-Lissen ! don't eat enough
ENGEL-Ostrich is a wonderful beast.
MORGAN--Lissen here. Joe Engel. |
never saw you pull away from tn
plate.
AW-Talkin' about eatin'. 1t made
me awful sore when the President
cut out the inaugural ball. ! was all
primed for big eats. Hadda get my
dress suit remodeled into an Eng
lish walkin' suit
AINSMITH--I'll admit those English
suits are funny. but those pros GER,
tainly can scrap when they get
SHAW-Don't blame em. game O.
cricket is enough to get even Julian
Fltinge sore.
ENGEI-Well. impersonating a college
widow isn't any worse than lmper-
sonatin a ball player.
SHAW-Lissen. skull. if us birds don't
hang together the squirrels will eat
us one BY one. Whatta you ridin'
brother nut for?
ENGEI--Gotta- give my golden spurs
like YOUR head.
HARPER--What I don't like is. this
bird. Engel. being SO strong for the
Kaiser
ENGEI~What do you think my name
HARPER-That's all right. the Kaiser
amt got a chance. They're start
Ing to run the bases wild on him
right now. That Czar bird amt no
busher He's gonna capture Prz-prz-
er-where's that paper?
ENGEL-Wow: what's the name OF
the place he's gonna capture, skull?
HARPER Where's that paper. Here 1t
Is, PrzasnysE. There II 10.
BENTLEY-Aww-w What's the use
of capturing a place you can't pro.
MORGAN-All | gotta say IL the Uni
ted States get drawn into the war,
I'm going to move to Cherrydale.
MIKE MARTIN-Weli. what's the mat