West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1915-10-14
How q sIdewIse Dog Trots.

The place was che porch OF the
store, The time was about 10 o'clock In
the morning OF n summer day, the
people were the amiable loafers-and
Old Baumgartner. The person he was
discoursing about was his son SephenI-
1ah. I am not sure that the name
was not the ripe fruit OF his fathers
fancy-with, perhaps. the Scriptural
suggestion which is likely TO be pres
emit In the affairs OF a Pennsylvania
0erman--whether a communicate or
not--even IL he live In Maryland.
"Yas-always last; especial at fu.
nerals and weddings. Except his own
hes sure TO be on time at his own
funeral. Right out In 'front.' Hah?
But sometimes he misses his wedding.
Why. / knowed a feller-yous all
knowed him. begoshens!-that didn't
git there tell another feller'd married
her-'bout morn'n n year afterward.
Wasn't 1t more'n year, boys? Vas
-Bill Eisenkrout. Or, now, was II his
orother-Baltzer Iron-Cabbage? Seems
TO me now like II was Baltz. Some
sing wiss a b at the front end, any.
how"
Henry Wasserman difndently init
mated that there was a curious but
satisfactory element OF safety in being
last--a "fastnacht" In their language,
In fact. Those in front were the ones
usually hurt In railroad accidents, AL.
exander Althoff remembered
Safer" cried the speaker. "Of
course! But for why-say, for why?"
Old Baumgartner challenged defiantly.
No one answered and he let several
impressive minutes intervene.
You don't know, Hang you, none
OF yous knows! Well--because he
amt there when anysing occurs-al-
ways little late!"
They all agreed with him by series
Of sage mods.
But fellers. the worst is about
counting. It's no way to be always
late. Everybody else gifts there first,
and It's Messing for the fastnacht but
weeping and wailing and gnashing OF
the teeth And mebby the other teller
gifts considerable happiness-and q
good farm"
There was complaint In the old
mans voice. and they knew that he
meant his own son Seffy. To add to
Their embarrassment, this same son
was now appearing over the Lustich
lillian opportune moment for a
pleasing DEPRESSION. For you must be
told early concerning Old Baumgart-
ner's longing for certain lands, tene-
ments and Northumberland his
own phrase-which were not his own,
but which adjoined his. 1t had passed
into proverb of the vicinage; indeed,
though the property in question be-
ionged to one Sarah Pressed, IL was
known colloquially as "Baumgartner's
Yearn."
And the reason OF It was this: Be-
tween his own farm and the public
road (and the railroad station when
1t came) lay the fairest meadow-land
farmers eye had ever rested upon.
uNam speaking again for the father
OF Sefy and with his hyperbole.)
Save In one particular, IL was like an
enemy's beautiful territory lying be-
tween ones less beautiful own and the
open sea-keeping one a poor inlander
who Is mad for the seas-whose crops
must either pass across the land of his
adversary and pay tithes to him, or
30 by long distances around him at the
cost OF greater tithes to the soulless
owners OF the turnpikes-who aggra.
vatingly fix a gate each way to make
their tithes more sure. So, l say, IL
was like having the territory of his
enemy lying between him and deep
water-save, as I have also said, in
one particular, to wit: that the owner
the Sarah Pressed have mentioned
was not Old Baumgartner's enemy.
In fact, they were tremendous
friends. And It was by this friendship
and one other thing which / mean to
mention later-that Old Baumgartner
hoped, before he died, TO attain the
wish of his life, and see, not only the
Elysian pasture-field, but the whole
Of the adjoining farm, with the line
fences down, a part OF his. The other
thing I promised to mention as an aid
20 this ambition-was Sefy. And.
since the said Sarah was OF nearly the
same age as Seffy, perhaps l need
not explain further, except 10 say that
the only obstruction the old man could
see now to acquiring title by marriage
was--Seffy himself He was, and al.
ways had been, afraid OF girls-es.
pecially such aggressive, fiirtatious,
pretty and tempestuous girls as this
Sarah.
These things, however, we're hersdi.
taTy with the girl. II was historical.
IN fact, that. during the life OF Sarah s
sood-iooking father, so importunate
had been Old Bsumgartner for the
purchase Of al least the meadow
he could not have ventured a. that