davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Dress Hints.

Vaseline rubbed into patent leather
boots or shoes twice u week will pre-
vent them from cracking.
When pressing velvet lay the piece to
be pressed face down on another piece
of velvet: then it will not become at all
glossy.
Sponge a shiny suit or dress with
clean hot vinegar and press in usual
manner No odor of vinegar will re-
man. all the shine caused by yea
will disappear, and the garment will
look like new The vinegar leaves no
stain.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
1h. Hull Of . pe.adneuaht.:

wv SV0u " 0VO00UuV0NUS
An amazing amount OF material goes
to the making Of q 1900 ton battle.
ship. Into the hull alone enter some
$500 tons Of steel and iron. m amount
more than equal to the whole Of the
material from keel to lighting tops In
many of the pre-Dreadnought war Q
sells. OF this amount Of material over
1000 tons 10 steel plating, 2y066 tons
u for shapes. chanueling and angle
pieces: the weight Of the cve9 used
exceeds $50 tons. these rivets hanging
In diameter from three-eighths. Of IN
inch to one and one-half inches. and
there are over 400 toni Of specially
shaped steel castings. ranging In weight
from two to eighteen tons each. These
figures include nothing for gun mount
ing or special armoring. but are for the
mere construction Of the bare bull
alone.-London Express.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Short Stories.

Guam island IL twenty-five miles
tong.
Coffee wa. dr.t planted in Brazil in
1854.
cholock waterfall. Yosemite. is 1884
feet high.
The effective range Of the rifle, which
In 1870 was a little over 400 yards, IL
now 200.
I: The Daily Republic. one of the ma
tive newspapers. of HankOw. China,
aecently published ''The Pilgrims
Progress as q serial.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
sIREs AND SONS.

General Suckom!inOf, the Russian
predecessors at the war department., is
a Slav and a Russian Nationalist and
was formerly military governor Of
Kiev.
Count Shigcnobu Okuma, who was
recently appointed premier Of Japan, is
seventy-six years old. The count has
been the head Of the treasury depart
ment, minister Of the interior and min
lister of agriculture and commerce.
Carl Schurz Vrooman, the new as
sistant secretary Of agriculture. sue
ceeding Beverly T. Galloway, Is a writ
er on public questions. He is a trus-
tee Of the Coworkers' fraternity Of
Boston. He graduated from Harvard
university.
General Luigi Cadorna has been ap-
pointed commander in chief Of the
Italian army to succeed General Pol
lilo. General Cadorna has commanded
an army corps in Rome and has taken
q brilliant though short part in the
Lybian campaign.
Charles Summer Hamiin, whom Pres
ident Wilson has appointed as COVER
nor of the federal reserve board, is a
Boston attorney who vas assistant
secretary Of the United States treas
ury, 1887, and was again appointed
last year. He was a commissioner Mt
the convention between Russia, Japan
on6 th{o country in 12O7 He also
served at the convention between
Great Britain and the United States
to determine the fur seal controversy.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Town Topics.

Philadelphia has declared a mora
forum against street beggars.-Wash-
1ngt0n Post.
Ostend suggests what a fine place our
own Atlantic City would be as q mill
tary base.-B0stOn Herald.
New York is not the only city that
needs to modernize its ways Of bring
ing in its nearby food supplies.-Bos-
ton Herald.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Town. Topics.

Baltimore needn't think she owns
1.-The Star Spangled Banner."-Rich-
mond Times Dispatch.
Chicago, like Boston, loses her grand
opera by reason Of the European var
By the way. it is still true, in Chi
cago, that nothing is wasted but the
squeal.-Manchester Union.
Near side stops" for the street cars
have proved to be very popular In New
York, where some people in the past
have experienced difficulty In getting
the motormen to stop at all.-Boston
Globe.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Train and Track.

Finland has 2.433O miles of railway.
About 65 per cent Of the Swiss fed.
eral railways rest on. steel ties.
As a recognition Of good service the
Erie railroad paints the name Of a
m%eritorious engineer on the locomotive.
Russia's railways are narrower than
the European standard. They werf
built 80 to hamper any attempt at mill
tary invasion.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Pathetic.

Oh, sad is the lot Of the poet!
His shirt tears: there's no one to scot.
But you can't get his goet
With his high buttoned o
He's shirt:ess. but nc n will noet.
Allentown Democrat.
Oh, sad is the heart Of the poet
OF Rody McPhee (you should noeD!
He hasn't a hair
On his head. though up there
IL 4 dandy big smooth place to greet.
Houston Post.
We've always opined that a poet
Had hair and the breezes would gloet.
But Judd and McPhee
Are q pair who are free
OF all thatch. and their craniums shoot.
Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
The Perfect Baby.

Little Miss Wigger was measured and
weighed,
Measured and charted and given a grade;
Little Miss Wigger was tested with care,
Tested and sounded from instep to hair.
Never a point did the measurers miss
Never a baby as perfect as this!
'Yes,'' said the judges, t prize goes to
YOU"
Blushins, Miss Wigger responded with
'Goo!"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Cost Of Living.

Why not a i've and ten cen butcher
s~hop?-Washington Herald.
The grocers blame prices on the imam
higher up" but always it is the man
lowest down who pays them.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
Newark, N. j.. has also opened mu-
nicipal markets. A general engage
ment is opening against the advance of
prices. with a particular effort to put
flank beef.-New York Sun.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Come Across.

A Texan SO bold
Toward the border, we're told.
These words would defiantly toss:
"You who yearn for the fray.
Do not further delay! 600
Come across! Come across! Come across!"
The Texan at last
To the northward was passed
To collect the poor taxpayers dross,
And with voice clear and strong
Still he warbled that song,
''Come across! Come across! Come
acrcss!'
Washington Star.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
The Truth.

"Men are getting more sensible"
said the moralist. Il see very few of
them c~ongregating on the street cor
ners on rainy days to stare at the
ladies'"
That's right" agreed his observing
friend. with the present styles they
don't have to wait for rainy days.
Puck.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Friend In Need,

Soubrette-Ravenyelp thinks a great
deal of the president.
Comedian-Yes; the president did
him the best tur amy one can possibly
do an actor.
SOubrette-What was it?
COmedian-Gaye him an audience
Judge.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
AoropoS.

Apropos.
Clare and her sister sat without
We knew a beau was due
When suddenly exclaimed small Bess.
"Oh, sister, kiss me tool"
Who hesitates is lost. and Clare
Without a single famine
Replied: "You shoul say twice, my dear.
Where did you learn u C GRAMMAR,
st. Louis Post Dispatch.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Warden-Are you willing to confess?
Voice From the Dungeon-No, sir.
I'm as much in the dark as ever
Buffalo Express.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
A Saving Woman.

B0arder-What do you mean by call
ing US to breakfast at this hour? It's
only 5 O'Clock.
Waitress-The missus heard it thun-
dering, and she told me to hurry up
and serve breakfast before the milk
soured .-Boston Transcript.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Resting.

Resting.
Patience-Did you see Peggy down
at the beach?
Patrice-Oh, yes.
What was she d0ing-firting, as
usual?"
"No; she said she went down there
for a rest."-YOnkers Statesman.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Willie-Paw, what is unconscious hu-
moro
Paw-That is something that is never
INDUCED in by the man who laughs at
his own jokes, my son.-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

care you economizing? II should
say so," said the man who is always
cheerful. "My wife bought enough
marked down articles to save $50 on
the original rices."-Washington Star.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

But now with folly and with pride,
Their husbands pockets trimming,
The ladies are so full of whims
That people call them whim-men.
Cornell Widow.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
London. ex.W.t.rina p,.e.,

London. Ex.Watering Place.
Time was when London was q va.
tering place. whose wells. II not rival.
ing Bath or H~arrogate. were widely
famed aud %frequented BY people from
all quarters. In South London there
were quite a number of spas, Lambeth
wells. which sold water for a penny .
quart and gave 1t to the poor for moth
ing. St Georges wells. Sydenham
wells and Dulwich wells being the best
known.-London Graphic.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

An Astronomical Theory.
The noon was doing its best to food
Indianapolis part of the earth with
light. Little Margaret and her mother
were looking at the noon.
"Oh, mamma" exclaimed Margaret
"look how bright the moon is! 1t must
be nickel plated."-Indianapolis News.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

BILL see King George of England
is in the hands of his dentist.
Jnl-Crown work, l suppose.-YOn:
kers Statesman.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Ever see spots on the sun. sam"
ooh, yes, sah."
when, Sam"
"Other day, when dat ornery mule
Kicked me at high noon, sah!'-
YOnkers Statesman.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Come into the garden. Maud.
And wear your skirt with Sits.
The birds don't mind h scarecrows now,
But you will give them fits.
Atlanta Constitution.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

He asked the girl to fly with him
His words we heard him mutter.
Beseeched to fly, NJ wonder that
1t put her in a futter.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

"What makes her so positive abou
everything"
"Her sex."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

A good thing is the thing to do.
&c though it be a wee one.
And I can say, tween me and you,
I'd rather do than be one.
-Pnck
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

ibid you see where an heiress mar
ried a butcherY
II suppose she saw 1t was the only
way she could afford to eat meat every
day,'-BaltimOre American.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
No ooeip.

.There's one thing can cay said
Mrs. Wagyles, land that - that I nsv.
er indulge In idle gossip"
no." replied Miss Cayenne. .fou
must be given credit for INDUSTRY IN.
whatever you undertakA.- Washing.
ton Star.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

"A tear was in her voice." he wrote,
And how it made the critic swear
When on a car he CHANGED to note.
A loud voiced BOBBY read 1t ~'tear!"
Judge.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Economy and esvjnn.

A sort Of paradox u the fact that
thousands Of people who make no ef-
fort to save q dollar when times are
highly prosperous will develop and
practice economy when work and op-
portunity are less plentiful. The best
way, Of course, h to try and save ut
least u little all the time. putting BY u
larger amount when earnings are at
their height As a nation We are o
taught that economy. which makes
France the banker Of the world and
whose accumuladons come no from
vast exports of natural resources. but
from the combined small savings. con-
sistently continued year after year. by
the French people as a whole.
The French ave partly because It
has become hereditary and chiefly be
cause the children are brought up that
way and are taught the dignity OF ac-
cumulaton. w, on the contrary. in
a spirit Of false pride. are inclined to
scorn the necessity OF saving. %
though it were something OF which to
be ashamed. It our present expe-
riences shall teach us thrift 1t Will
be a strengthening Of a great national
weaknesA-H. q. Windsor in Popular
Mechanics Magazine.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

When the people wed in Holland
And the wedding guests enthuse
Do they shower the bridal party
With those heavy wooden shoes?
Kansas City Journal.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

"Won't you take a chair?" said he.
Just to see her at her ease.
And without meaning she
Said, after you. sir. please"
New York Sun.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

The Indian that we used to know
Presents a transformation great.
He draws a salary from a show
Or cashes in on real estate.
-Washington Star.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Mr.. Pester-I dreamed I had I'M
counted gold.
Mrs. Poster - That's just like you.
You never even take the trouble to
count your change.-Puck.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

They say that COLTS a splendid game
And perfect recreation,
But every time I play I claim
That COLTS an irritation.
Detroit Free Press.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
With ApoIoaies to Evsrybod,

With Apologies TO EVorybody.
oh, it's easy enough to be pleasant
When life goes along just right,
But the man worth while
Is the man who can smile
When his wife tangoes morn, noon and
night.
Life.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

"How on earth did a man with q
record like his ever manage to clean
it up?"
II guess he did it with soft soap
Baltimore American.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

He dreamed a castle in the air,
A lazy chaps ideal one,
Then sold the plan to a busy man
With cash to build a real one.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Old Stingy jerks would never treat
1t ost too many pence
But he invited every one
To Joke at his expense.
New York Mail.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

A man gets tight. then walks the street,
Astounding left and right.
A woman walks with staggering feet
Because her skirt Is tight.
New York Mall.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Tho Usual Way.

The Usual Way.
my son. be careful to dnd out the
inward depths of . woman's character
value before you make a friend Of
her"
That's all right, out II she's pretty
why not take her at her face valueT'-
Baltimore American.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Doing.

There was q sea captain named Haun
On the warship with crew Of Drawn.
1t was his proud boast
The enemy to roast,
But when he got there they were gone!
Spokane Spokesman-Rsview.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Social upIift.

SoclaI UPIITt.
"You should join our Discussion club,
1t is no end of benefit"
"1)o you cover a wide range of sub.
j~ects"
"Oh, no. We confine ourselves ex-
clusively to bridge and tango."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Wife (after callers had gone)-How
dare you scold me before company!
Hub-Well, you know, my dear, l
don't dare do 1t when we are by our
selves.-Boston Transcript.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Hard Water

Hard Watse.
The Papa-what's the baby crying
ab0ut1
The Namma-oh, he's being washed!
.Oh, % the watss a. hard at thatr-
Yonksrs Statesman.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

what did you do while your wife
IA away on a vacation?"
II talked" triumphantly replied
skinny little Mr.. Hennypeck.-Puck.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Generalship.

He reached the green in two shots. but,
Lifting his ball, he said to me:
ITS scarce ten feet, An easy putt.
I'll Just concede myself a three"
A dandy scheme this seemed to be.
So ere to drive I had begun
I said, and lifted from the tee.
"Iln Just concede myself q one"
New York World.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
WuH!

He married a corn fed named Maud,
Whose shape wasn't long. but quite braud.
They continued to spoon
For q brief honeymoon,
But now he IL claud. chaud and jaud.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Ii fun N good. rntb u stiil better
and love best. OF aii.-Thackeray.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Willie-Paw, what is u square deal?
Paw-That's, when YOU get about 10
per cent the best Of it, my son.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Tso Mve', q One.

Hs-Yon do not seem to be % anI.
ious for a dat now. Shs-H0w can I
boz Didn't . marry youf-BaitimorG
American 4
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

The whole world hates q. grouchy stew.
It always makes US cuss
To fall in with a fellow who
Wants to fall out with us.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Caller-Pardon me. cir. but q thsse
another artist In this buiIdingt Artist
There 10 not. There 10, however. Q
man on the fourth floor who paints.-
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

always envy Mr.. Keer.
For he has wealth, I know.
His park contains a herd Of deer.
And he has plenty doe.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

$50 Ethel is nov engaged in reform
work."
eyes; she is teaching her parrot not
to swear."-Boston Transcript.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
His P~roessdinas.

"A pickpocket in the park caught a
couple Of spoons the other night"
What did he do to them?
''Told them he would knife them I'M
less they would fork over."-Baltimore
American.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
h Would Happen.

Had l the wings OF a bird began
the poet.
you'd suffer-" interrupted the
prosaic person. "Y0ur wife would
take them away from you to trim a
hat."-Detr0it Free Press.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
oe,n.stle Harmony,

Louise-Does Howard get along hap
PLY With his wifei Jntta-Yee. Some
Of bic opinions coincds With hsEn and
the others he keeps silent about-Lafs.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Flows that budding genius son of
yOursY'
He's a blooming idiot now."-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
Not lmmortai.

"Penley used to think his poems wSS
immortal"
What changed his opinionr'i
The editors Killed 90 many q
thsm."-Boston Transcript :
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

An lndiscreet Memory.
"You and that very charming Miss
Maicom were boy and girl friends. I'm
toid?"
"Yes."
II saw you talking t o her. You must
have had a delightful time recalling
early daysy' ~.
'"Weli. no. tried to make 1t pleas.
ant, but it didn't seem to work. l. re-
called to her how she climbed trees
and fences when she was ten years
old. and she gave me a freezing look.
Then ! asked her to remember how she
was thrown from an overturned bob
sled and went head foremost into a
snowdrift and stuck there. You were
seven years old | said, and I recall
that you were What do you think
she did,"
II. dunno"
".Said SIR and stalked away
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
sup.rstitioue Cures.

Superstittous Cures. 4"
At an inquest in an English town
on a nve-month-old child the mother
was said to have given It a detection
of snails and Demerara sugar as a cure
for whooping cough. She put the
snails, alive, into the sugar in a q
lin bag, and the liquid 6ltrate was the
medicine. 1t seems that the small"
remedy is known in other parts OF the
country. Hot lemonade. hot treacle
and elderberry strip r also given by
the poor as a cure. and a sugared In
fusion Of snails may be just as efica-
cious as any Of them.
Walks round the gas works with
the suffering children r still prac-
ticed. Old women were great believ-
ers in this method Of cure, and they
used to be laughed at for their faith
in it. There was method In their
strange apparent madness. and n of
the best known cures today ts the
vaporizing of fluids that give OF COM
pounds similar to those emanating
from places where they make gas
London Taller.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

I can handle soft confetti,
Eat raw oysters with the best,
But I cannot eat spaghetti
Without mussing up my vest.
Peoria Journal.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12
All Around Him.

I'm booking Tor Spats."
"You ought to nave my Job Tor
awhile" commented the weary 50oosl
WALKER Louisville Courier.Jcurnal.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

"H0w long has he been married?"
mot very long. He still goes home
to lunch."-Detroit Free Press.
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1915-03-12

Looking Far Ahead.

Looking Far Ahead.
The vivid imagination Of childhood
is rs a fairy charm for magnttytng
possibilities. A small boy. being d..
rected to empty his buiging pockets.
brought forth among other strange
treasures q circular piece Of rubber.
Asked its nature and purpose. he made
answer: well. that's q real good wash
er. I'm going to start an automobile
shop with It some day."-Pittsburgh
Press.