The Northwest worker. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1915-1917, 1915-09-09
YE PARTY COLYUM
SOCIALIST FIBBLEs IN SLANG


with apologies to the author of this
style of bunk
There was once a Scrappy Irishman
named Conle Hane who had a Choice
Assortment of adjectives and much
suppressed contempt for Orthodox la
Dor organizations He had made quite
Rep as Labor General in the Glass
War. After seeing his name in the
papers several times he began to real
lie his Importance and looked long
ingly oversee for other Worlds to con-
quer. So he connected up with his
American comrades-in-m misery at a
good Stiff Stipend to explain the diff
ference between the Royal Irish and
the Rebel Irish.
His Importance was so great that
our Employees at Chicago mislaid
their Constitutions out of sheer Awe
and forgot about State Autonomy, in
flicting him directly upon the Towns
and Hamlets.
So it came to pass that a certain
Local in the Fag End of a would-be
city conspired with Mr.. Hane to save
many worthy souls in the A. F. of L.
He got busy, gumshoed around the or
ganization, and had the Big Chiefs
believing that he had a Patent Rem
edy for the 8-hour day without de-
grading themselves by voting for it.
Prominent members of the fraternity
hustled the Town Band and spread
the glad news that Hale and Hearty
from the Emerald Isle was going to
occupy the center of the stage at a
deserted theatre.
The band outshone the Germans for
about two hours on the Main Thor
oughfare, and all members of the
Working Glass who could be inveigled
from their homes or lured into the
Establishment came in to rub the Dust
off the seats.
The affair was in charge of Gang
of Emissaries who had held down the
high places in Labor Circles since the
Year one, and the brightest of these,
who was numbered among local Top
Hotchers, refereed the Bout.
He spread the usual Tidings about
our Fair City and hoped that the name
of our Beautiful Mountain that was
Gods" but to which he gave quit
claim deed since he couldn't fix the
Monicker, would be settled at an early
date so as to promote greater har-
mony between Capital and Labor.
Then he gave the star Heavyweight
Bow to the Fans and took a Ring
| side seat.
If any one present suffered from the
Delusion that Con intended to in
dHlge in idle Platitudes concerning
our Fair City and Mount they were
soon Jared out of their state of coma
With cast-iron ballot box in one
hand and a ten-pound Top Maui in
the other he Pranced to the center of
the ring and rushed the Fighting from
the tap of the bell.
He hammered the A. F. of l.. into
a Corner and then proceeded to be-
labor it with the Ballot Box. He tore
around like Red Demon on Roller
Skates. He didn't believe in tying
one arm in a Sling
Various Pie Artists in different
parts of the Room began to throw
conniption fits. Referee Taylor tried
to crab the performance by sucking
Lemon and looking like Profession
al Pallbearer On the Rear Benches
several able representatives of Sam
on their necks holding a Protest
Meeting.
| The other SO Per Cent. of the audi
ence came out of their trance in the
Early Part of the second round. They
began to Rub their eyes and Take
Notice. When he Gave the Lame
Duck organization solar plexus that
sent it through the ropes and hauled
out the Red Flag the Bugs went wild.
They did some Fancy Steps on the
backs of the seats and SHE'D their
Kelleys at the ceiling. 1t was all over
but the Shouting.
Moral; Sometimes it doesn't pay to
! Advertise. w. CIR.