Evening star., 1915-02-14

used over thirty years ago by Grover
Cleveland"
Mr. Herrick at the Bar.
| Myron T Herrick was next prisoner
at bar.
Well. my good man. 1 suppose you
/ think you've got an idea?"
Il have"
What is it?'
Distinguished diplomatic service is
the road to political preferment."
That's an exploded idea. Jimmy Ge
rard proved that"
We'll. what the matter with having
a millionaire in the White House
that's a new idea.
aires in the White House. Now, come.
tell us what other handicap you've
got"
Il haven't got. any. I'm an ideal can
didate.''
Aren't you from Ohio?"
Yes. but that's no handicap"
Senator Borah was then called.
"Mr. Borah, what, in your opinion, if
any. constitutes an idea?"
IAN idea. viewed in the light of a
| long line of constitutional precedents,
and upheld in the Addison pipe dream
case. consists in the contemplation of
far less natural equipment than my
| self, have succeeded, by hook or crook,
in reaching the White House.
Purely a State of Mind.
The next case was the people against
| William G. McAdoo, Champ Clark and
| William ]. Bryan.
| Mr.. McAdoo, how do you explain the
| present hard times?"
| with President Wilson's statement
that it's purely a state of don't mind"
| state what. if any. steps you are
| taking to reduce the deficit?"
| We'll, in the first place, there is no
| deficit: secondly. if there is one. the
last administration is to blame; and.
| thirdly and lastly, 1 regard your ques-
| tion as insulting. 1 appeal for protec-
| tion."
| Speaker Clark was next called.
| speaker Clark, what's your idea OF
| hard times?'
The Baltimore convention"
well, Mr.. Clark. what did you say
! recently about the presidential nomina-
| tion in 1862"
Il said that if Wilson made good, he
| could have the nomination. And If he
didn't make good. nobody would
| want it."
| DO you want it,"
NO"
Bryan Last at the Bar.
The last prisoner at the bar was
William J. Bryan.
Now. Mr.. Bryan. where were you on
or about March 4. 1872
| AT Lincoln. Neb.''
AT Lincoln. Neb., eh? What was the
weather on that day."
| 1T was somewhat overcast.
! Mills all running?
| II guess So.
| Now tell the court where you were
| On March 4, 1901"
| AT Lincoln. Neb.
| still at Lincoln. Neb.. Ah-ha. What
was the weather at that time?"
| Twas bitter cold"
| The country prosperous. I suppose? ?"
| Il suppose So
! Vow. Mr.. Bryan. let your mind travel
a little further along Where were
| you on March 4. 1902"
! "At Lincoln. Neb.''
! And what was the weather on that
day."
| Continued cold"
Country prosperous: everybody
| happy"
| pose"
Finally Reaches White House.
Let's get down to more recent his
tory"
where were you on March 4, 1872
Il was in the White House"
The White House. Mr.. Bryan? Pray,
what were you doing there?"
II was eating luncheon with the
President of the United States
What was the weather on that day? %
Twas a beautiful. balmy day. full
of hope and promise; the birds twit-
tered in the treetops. and every cloud
had a silver lining at the ratio of six
teen"
| "Confine yourself to facts. Mr.. Bryan"
Now. Mr.. Bryan (savagely). don't
you know as a matter of fact that i'm
mediateiy after that luncheon the mills
stopped running?"
so did L.
DO you expect the mills to start
running again.
"Oh, yes"
And will you also start running"
II refuse to incriminate myself
The court finds that all these parties
have a single idea, which Is to get into
the White House. and that too much
politics is the cause of hard times"
Parody on Opera.
One of the most delightful events O,
the evening was the rendition by mem.
bers of the club of parody on Gilber,
& Sullivan's famous opera. THE Pi.
rates of Penzance" This was called
THE Pirates of Politics. or the Slaves
of Booty" Some score or more OF
members in costume-and a ferocious
crew they were-occupied the we'll
hHaos him stood ProhiBition Pirate" % Hss,ae uf.
fragette Pirate" and Progressive Pirate. u
1.-The tuneful airs of the opera so pop
1ular long ago were used to carry the