The daily Alaskan., 1915-01-16
A Bachelor s Complaint
By F. A. MITCHEL

l should be tied by nnOfGakaDIe cIallS to one of those paradoXical, unrcason- able, illogical creatures. a woman.
 Why my bosom friend, Jim Brown.
 had 10 put a lirebr!nd between him. self aud me 1 cant imagine. We were inseparable. ncv,r felt at home with any other person dS with him, and
 without me he did not know what to do with himself Suddenly there pop ped up between uS-whdt! Clothes
 many clothes. clothes varying In cut
 with every season. And within these clothes was a Wunruu
 There Is nothing unreasonable about
 me. would have been perfectly will, Ing that Jim should go 10 see this
 much adorned grOwuup child once
 week and stay till 3 in the morning
 if he liked certainly would never
 have thought of being jealous of one who Is not endowed with a spark of
 manlinrSs But she was not satisfied
 with this She wanted nim all the time And Jim. pool Uc-gar, was so
 under her thumb that she did what
 she liked with him
 Then she must needs nag at him to
 bring me tO see her Why she wished to meet me was d puzzle. certainly
 had no desire to meet her Do bring
 your friend He must be u lovely man
 since you aye so fond of him." And Jim was fool enough 10 hclitve that she wanted to rlrrt my because ] was
 "a lovely man
 Just as soon Hs they were engaged
 there was friction us tu the evenings she wanted Jim and those wanted him l. being reasonable creature,
 was willing 10 divide Jim's evenings
 with her Not SD she If Jim made
 an engagement with me she would
 make him break it.
 Despite all this pulling and hauling for Iim's cumpauiCUShip he must
 bring that "iovcIy" friend of his to Scr her | refused Iu go This frightened Jim. fer nI said that il would create au vumity bctwcca hr' and me that
 would be unpleasant a' round gave In tu JiUl-"ot tO her
 ConSiGrr,ng wh't she waHtrd Wc For,
 her treatment of mr waS remarkable. Ton wuulI have Iluu-ht ohc was in love witl mc Instead If Jim 'l m aw' fully glad tv >ro yOu," $sc said, all smiles "l'vr heard So much about YOU that it ScrmS | have known you
 a lony while Yuu have no idea how
 fond Jim is of you You must come and see nr often Any one that Jim speaks of So highly must be very nice. V
 If you had heard the intunaiton she
 gave the words 'ycry ujrc' you would have realized the irony between the beginning and ending of thi$ sentence. Mind yuu. didn't >yr th.ou2h a. this then confess l Was toO.cd willie she was showing plainly that 1 sh,. had an object in roOlin" me No one lut a woman can cudllc q man
 and let him know that she iS Stutius him without rrpelug him Instead Of repellimg she winds him round her Iin ger while she k feeding him poison. Rut | know it all now Jim was married. and when ne returned from his wedding trip uc tried to grasp my hand with fcrvor. but it was not the same fervur as before | knew that l had been suppHutrd. and. more than this. knew that his wife had under i mined his good opinion of mr, Then 1t became apparent why she wished Jim to bring me to see her She couldn't attack one she had never seen. or If she did her onslaught would have | had no weight She must have some thing tangible to attack.
 50 this k the wonderful man. l
 doubt pot she said after seeing me.
 that you have brcu lHudiuc to the skies Why did he not say some oi
 those bright things that you have so
 often spoken uf? Didn't feel well enough acquainted: | suppose l shall have to wait till he does some day when be frriS more at home here 1 pre
 sume he will dcluGn LIS with his wit"
 What a melancholy awakrun" Jim
 must have had after this first In spection by his ladyIove of his bosom friend to discover that | wlS after all n commonplace person. Anal how sin gullr IL is that these creatures. who uo
 not know the difference between a syllogism and sole leather can produce ol man of intellectual vi@ur the effect they require by mere irony Jim had known me intimately for years, and
 vet by few words woman had shat
 tered his idol
 Jim has relapse occasionally ana drops into my room for a bit of "oId
 times" as he calls them But he
 knows they are not old times; they are
 altered times Doubtless he thinks
 that for him they are changed for the
 better; that ne is leaving me in sta
 tiouary position. while he has ad
 ranccd At any rate, | have noticed
 that those things 1 continue tU enjoy
 or think ] enjoy. are beginning to bore
 him If l speak ol H new Itay on the
 boards he will turn the subject to the
 smart sayings of his little Jim Then
 too. he has become absorbed in piling
 up money for his wife and children after he has gone He snySit k awful to think of leaving them without sup
 port It seems tn me that in getting
 married he gave up all the fun there
 .-tf, ..HE