davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14
OLD FEB WHITE


airth. but ,yo' won't tackle . critter
IF she'd kept quiet. mebbe my mad
hurt me, and all of a sudden l peels of
my coat and whoops a whoOp. I was
gwire to sail i'm on the elephant. wher
half a dozen circus men grabs me and
hustles me around and warns ME to
keep quiet. That was the last straw.
sot down fur half a mint till no.
body was lookin' and then 1 riz up and
began bizness. | had never fft-an el"
plant befo' and didn't know jest how
to tackle one. but that critter wasn't
bothered much to know how to 20 to
work on me-. I was usin botn hsts on
around my body and lifts me off my
feet and begins to play with me. He
slams me on the ground and agtn
cages and wagons and when he finally
lets go they picks me up and carries
me out fur a dead man"
He was too much fur your: l sx-
claimed. as the old man got up to
Kin a man fight an elephant? l
sense might hev fit three men te
once or, and had some show: but I'll, didn't Lsl
befo' could walk out doahs. That
critter broke purity nigh all the bones
in my body. and I'm feelin' the effects
the fuss befo' I got things straight in
my mind. ! kept thinkin' all the time
that this yere Cumberland Range had
slid down on me-. One mawnin aXed
the ole woman how il was, and she
sorter laughed and said:
"Zeb White. yO' used to be the aw-
fullest fightin' man fur a hundred
miles around and the hills shook wher
yo' hollered. but things won't be thai
way no mo-.
Fur why" SEE 7.
Fur yo' tackled a circus elephant
down at SpottsviIle."
And how long did it take me tc
whop him.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

no
~ ~ Eomi SPriLs' ,inh 90 S'' 10. ar, ~
,b;n ,.n,' LA III ,, ,,.;,iS
iiin Guiu am in :,
pnoS b., nj @ W s.nu
$50 ~ On LIN, S'u ''u' iou hh'"
"'i r.
..rrpn &c fnr,S" E;o,rar,,;o ra
-. "' D. iri'' i ' '.oi,s az H.
~, co., W W uo aon ia
80 SOu ar IN VI tH. ~, oiu
.Ht. -" VI VI '''' III
-, t,., Va, , "a.
Il, III To-, nc :
nme VI @ S ou. u, ny
~ aIa ss 80 ~, "a fnUr .natS pane
u si"Is MaS iouI Meehs aSo
,au .i by mmom IL tonisht Sai pa'
~, NJ ,.o o,, III, "a 80 IL P
- ~ I nU ' L'ii5 nav VIZ e
~ N''''' ~ ING
~ s., uon., ris,.r~
H5S Wi, ! i'St ;,I. rr ., ,o
anu i say you VII II you come
IA r EiIS me Win IN, nreahlhs ma siass
$3.50 n, me stim ', on ma p,iu
W., VI ours d IN apouo MN i
W ma sou i.eu 10 ohS MANU- anu
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14
Judge Hoke, of Sandy Bend

Then you needn't go no further. I've
been wantin' a wife fur the last six
months. and l reckon I'll take her of
your hands"
Wall" continued His Honor. Jim
Hope he had his gun plump on Abe
Skinner and his finger on the trigger.
and Abe had to give in. This yere Court
CAN'T Farm that the woman objected to
The change. On the contrary. thar Is
evidence that she didn't keer continent
tai. as Jim Hope is better lookin crit
ter than Abe Skinner. The couple heads
this way by the trail. while Abe Skinner
takes a short cut and arrives fustly and
comes to me to yell fur jestice. Thars
two fellers yellin' fur jestice. and third
one with the woman. The woman gifts
yere in doc time. along with Jim Hope.
and over by the creek they meets Joe
Scott. who stops to say:
Jim Hope. was jest goin' out to
hunt fur one
What We mean to do?'
"I want female woman fur a wife.
and you git down and skip!'
Thar was a gun on Jim. and he had
to give the woman up. This court can't
Farm that she shed a tear or did any
TO me and wants law and jestice and al
that. That makes three OF EN- a-wantin'.
and so ! tells the constable to arrest
Joe and the woman. fcre's four men
be purity badly tangled up. Fustly, Tom
Jones, Is this woman your wife,"
"Sartin she is" answered Tom.
"Hev you got the dockyments to prove
it?'' ~
mo: but I married her in the Injun
Territory a var ago."
wall. this Court has nothin' to do
with the Injun Territory. and that mar
rage won't stand yere onless the woman
wants 1t to. Mrs. Jones, as l will call
YOU. what made we run away from
Tom?''
Got tired of him." replied the woman.
DO you prefer Jim Hope or Joe
Scott?"
~ amt pertickler."
THAT makes the case easier. Hank
WILLIAMS. stand Nd
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14
HUN TED DO WIN

I was putting in a month in a
Swiss town, and as | was strolling
along the highway in the suburbs one
day = vehicle containing single
traveller appeared.
The driver pulled up that the trav-
elcr might ask if he could find &C
commOdation at some chalet instead
OF the hotel. as he was not in good
health and wanted quietness. was
lodging at a private house and there
WAS room for another guest. The
stranger was driven on, and 7 sat
down on a rock to sum him up. Hav-
ing come from the West in a Coun
try vehicle, he must have come from
beyond the railroad station. The horse
looked weary and the hour was four
in the afternoon. and I settled it that
he must have come from Thalla, fif
teen miles away. The man wore a hat
that did not fit him and had the col
lar of his coat turned up. He had
goggles. though il was dark day.
y person who wears goggles for weak
eyes will carry finger to one of
The glasses every two or three min
utcs. even if he does not move them
occasionally. On this mans face was
newly grown beard about an inch
leDS. Every thirty seconds up went
his hand TO scratch. He was not used
10 Il beard. but had grown il for an
object He thickened his voice when
he spoke to me. and II was easy to
detect the unnatural information. Why
did ne do it? Travellers searching for
health are seldom to be met with in
The mountain except in early summer.
and this was late in hhe season. He
might explain. however. Mr.. Braceby
as he had given his name. probably
had more reasons for seclusion than
he had stated, and l had a curiosity
to observe him further.
He was taken in at the chalet. and
1 saw by his table manners that he
was used to the quick lun0hes of
restaurant, He claimed TO be an Eng
lishman: but his American idioms
child. The heels of his boots. as l OBJ
served, were very true. He was
therefore man who did little walk
ing. He had the curve of shoulders
a great deal Now and then he leaned
back and locked his fingers as most
public officials do when a caller en-
trouble That was or was not a good
excuse for his presence. A door slam
med. and he jumped. That showed
its way from the railroad station to
the big hotel. and Mr.. Braceby sly
and furtively peered out of the win
dow. That was the action OF a fugi-
tive from justice.
In the course of four or five days
] had the stranger sized up to . dot
and would have bet five to one that
my diagnosis was positively correc,
He was straight-haired American
He was a public official 1t was his
first time abroad. He was in dis
guise and a fugitive. Whatever Doodle
he had with him he had in his under
shirt pocket. 1 knew this because he
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14
The Right of Way

When they came to survey for the
+ and J. Railroad. the line ran across
the farm of old Tom Rathbonc. and it
was only after much argument and de
lay that he would permit the surveyors
to step foot on his land. Every body
knew him to be determined old iel-
county to back him up, even in tight
with a railroad. when the survey had
been completed and york was begun.
and struggle with him. He was offer
ed fair price for the right of way.
but he replied:
That's all right. but We see Id hev
10 shet up my hawgs if we had a rail-
road and hawgs don't do well unless
they kin wander ab~ut. / amt no per-
ticker friend of the hawgs as I knows
fort they kin in this cold world
The lawyer made the following offer:
Look here, Tom. you have been a
widower for long. long time"
And why haven't you married
.Kase nobody would hev me. I've
bin right on the hunt all the time. but
mean. and 1 don't blame the gals and
widders fur THROWN me over"
"A railroad company is powerful
thing, Tom"
so I've heard.
1T can do most anything it wants
to-" :. -. :, 49,,
MeDDe IL KIN. out IL can run no
railroad on my land"
"Supposfn' we could find you
wife," queried the lawyer. IF this
railroad company found you a wife
would you sign OFF,
"A likely ~oman?"
Yes. 1 will guarantee to find you
wife to suit you il you will sign off
on the day of the marriage"
The old man said ne wanted day
to think II over. and he thought so
well of 1t that he sent the lawyer word
to bring on the woman. One had
been found in the person of a widow.
who was all right in character and
willing to marry to get home, and
two hours after her arrival the mar
riage took place and the railroad com
pany had legally acquired the right
of way across the farm. Two months
later the old man called on the lawyer
!, "a railroad company is powerful
thing. sah.
Yes, II is" replied the lawyer.
1T kin do most anything it wants
\"Yes, Il can. Would you like our
railroad to do something more for
your
Il would. sab. Yes. sab. I'D like
your railroad to take my pesky farm.
my drafted hawgs and that wife OF
mine as free gifx and lend me rope
mum to hang myself fur . fust-claa0
idiot"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

When the court at Sandy Bend had
Deen opened in due and legal form. Judge
Hoke assumed what he considered q
proper judicial dignity and said:
This ar a case SIGH as We hev never
had afore us before. but We think We
kin straightcn out the kinks and 60 jes-
tice to all. Three days ago that red
headed critter over thar. who calls his
trail from Big Find to AK il thar was
any law in this kentry. and to holler fur
jestice. He had wife up thar at Big
Find. He went home one evenn' to find
The name Of that man was Abe Skim
ner. and that's him over thar with the
broken nose
What ginerally happens out yere in
this land o gold and hard times when
our wife runs away? IF We amt mighty
glad of it. which We mostly be, we git
on to her tracks and foiler 'em till We
overtahe her If she's alone We take her
by the ear and lead her back. II. she's
amt no law in the case. but the custom
is purity we'll known. The man who steals
another mans wife expects to be popped
by the injoored husband, and he likewise
band IL he gifts the chance.
Tom Jones didn't pursoo. Thar was
the broad trail before him: and he had
and shrek fur jestice. and to Sit ali men.
includin' this court, down on him fur
his doggoneness. His wife. who ar that
female over thar with a mouth as big
as a bar'l. had gone of with Abe Skim
ner as aforesaid, and had him headed fur
this very camp. As they flies from Big
Find they meets up with Jim Hope.
who's the cuss over thar with the game
leg and one eye gone. Jim he stops 'em
and SEE:
ABE skinner. what you got thar
"a female
"'Who Is she?'
TON Jones' wife:
"And what you a-doin' with herr
"'A-runnin' away to Sandy Bend
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

Ten days Mrs Rowscr. don't try to
fool me You sold at least half that
sales. You may deny it, but nothing
on earth will convince me that you
didn't. Great Scott. sell the coal out
of my cellar to buy fummididdles,'
twenty-sevem days. Mr.. Bowser. and
YOU are talking nonsense. You might
as well charge the cook with eating
it. There's leak in water pipe
down cellar. and are you going to say
struck il with the AK
"A leak in the water pipe. OF course
you struck it, Yes. sir. you couldn't
see any other way to spite me. and
the AK. BY John, but I don't know
what prevents me from demolishing
this house and numbering three or
four people. \ water pipe bursted.
and $40 to pay out for repairs:' -.
quietly replied Mrs. Bowser.
Never. Never in this world. Water
pipes are all right until some one
them. suppose y9nll tell me next
that the roof of this house is leaking
N dozen places"
II discovered two leaks yesterday
hut they are not very bad ones.
can put pans on the floor to catch the
water.
Leaks in the roof. Forty leaks in
= roof that was oyerhauled only last
summer. W oman, 40 you KNOW Wnere
YOU stand"
wi hat do you mean
You arc standing in the shadow of
death! You have gone up or that roof
and jumped up and down. You have
played tag and pull-away. You have
turned somersaultS and handsprings.
You have taken the crowbar and
thumped and pounded. You nave done
all this to spite me. and by the bones
OF the One-horned cow
Are you through. Lemuel Bowser?"
Mr.. Bowser turned to find his moth
er-in-law standing in the door She
had arrived hours before. but had
kept in the background to make Il
dramatic debut.
What: You-you here" Gasped
Mr. Bowser as the red left his face
in an instant.
Yes. Lemuel. am here. and
have been an interested listener. Sit
down
What for"
Because ! tell you 10. I've got "A
few words to say to you. and per-
hapS your knees won't wobble quiet
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14
|BOWSER'S PREMONITION

1t was an hour after dinAer. and
Mr.. Bowser was reading and smok-
ing. when he suddenly shivered. Mrs.
Bowser happened to be looking at
him, and she said:
- am afraid you are in for cold"
~ guess not" he replied.
But that SILVER indicates it,"
Hang it, he exclaimed. as he got
up to walk back and forth. I've had
feeling ever since dinner that some
thing was going to happen
"A premOnitiOn?"
g! believe they call II mat
rs it feeling that something bad
is going to happen"
Terrible bad
Mercy. but l hope not What can
mebbec"
You go out and take a walk. Such
ton"
Mr.. Bowser went, and when he
came back an hour later he said ne
felt better. though he was very sober
the rest of the evening, and his face
wore gloomy lool; as he departed in
the morning.
Mrs. Bowser worried all day. and
horRd he would come home feeling
more cheerful. In this she was disap-
pointed. He came scuffinG in. and be
fore he had his overcoat of he de
Don't you know that want my
dinner sometime before midnight
Our usual o'clock dinner is
ready she quietly replied.
Well. ii is good thing that it Is
or that girl would get the bounce.
From now on this house Will be run
as house instead of a sawmill or
I'll know the reason why
running the house,"
What is wrong? \ thousand things
are wrong. Mrs. Bowser. you and |
are going to have a talk after din
ner-a straight. plain talk"
Il thought YOU said we might go to
the church festival this evening"
"Church festival nc HANGED. We
are more apt to go to the poor
Mrs. Bowser had no more to say
and Mr.. Howscr felcitated himself
that he had made proper beginning.
If he had only been little More OBJ
serving and noticed the smile playing
around the corners of her mouth it
would have been better for him later
on. When dinner was finished and
they had returned to the sittinC-ro0m
he assumed his most judicial de-
meanor and began:
AS | stopped at the gate for
moment this evening observed that
one OF the panes in front window
was broken. 1t was all right when |
left the house this morning. Some
time during the day you sneaked mp
there with an AK Crowhar and
gave ii a bat. You did it to spite
me"
You are talking fooIishly. Mr. Bow
SER
81 am talking facts. woman. As
entered the gate | stumbled over a
clothcspin. While ii was only sin
gle one it showed the carelessness
You proba bly, threw it from 4 window
at a dog"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

VANITY has no place in my heart
Humility maketh a man friends. but
Vanity i$ bar trap lynn in wait"
I'll take your tin-type and let you
behold yourself"
And thereupon 1 asked him to pos
ture himself with his back to a tree
and a smile on his face. and ! got
down my camera and proceeded to
business. In a quarter of an hour l
had his picture ready. 1t was a faith
fuI counterfeit OF the homelieSt look in
"ritter in the enthusiastic West, and
a | handed il to him | said:
Man that is born of woman is not
always purity. hut the world will
Judge him by the integrity of his char
aCtcr
is that my picture: asks the old
man after gazing at it for while.
Its you to a dot
cant be no mistake about it? The
cog wheels and Inch pins and piston
rods didn't get mixed up while you
was takin' the picture:
Not Il mix. Its you to the life
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

so much if you. sit down. Now, then.
about that clothespin. You lied about
il simply to have an excuse to raise
i row.
Woman. don't YOU call me a liar.
Don't eXcits yourself. and don't
call me woman, | am your respected
mother-in-law. and such l can't
be bluffed or bulldoZed!'
II won't stay in the same house
with you." exclaimed Mr.. Bowser. as
he jumped up.
"Oh. yes. you will. You and / have
got to have plain, straight talk. and
the sooner We get at ii The better.
! figured that il WAS about time for
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

Hank stood up. and proved to be mid
dle-aged man of decent appearance.
Hank, dye want a wife," asked the
Court
II dew" was the reply.
Then I'll marry We to this woman.
Both of you. stand up yere.
But | say l married her." persisted
Tom Jones
Il know We say so. but the Iujun-
Territory don't go here What We is
arter Is jestice fur all hands. The
woman didn't like yea and skipped.
You didn't go arter her and pop over
Abe Skinner. and so We lost her !
fine We $40 fur disturbin' the court.
Jim Hope. you took The woman from
Abe Skinner by force of arms. and
then lost her 10 Joe Scott. You want
jestice. and TlINine We $50. Joe Scott.
YOU leveleG a gun on Jim Hope and
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

gas? Who has deliberately gone at
1t and turned it on in the daytime
and let il whiz away
NO one. of course. I must tell
you that the coal for the range is
out. 1t lasteds four days longer than
the last ton. but l suppose YOU"
THE range coal is all gone" he
whooped as he jumped up and down
and his eyes hung out. why. it's
only ten days since | ordered the last
tom
IT'S exactly twenty-seven days. my
dear
Don't my dear me. ton of coal
burned in our kitchen in ten days
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

made him give up the woman. and
the constable had to arrest you. 1
guess a fine of SIS will hit YOU"
I'm agin' it," shouted the three
men, in chorus.
THAT makes no difference" an
swered His Honor. The fines stand.
and yen he@ to pay Hank Williams.
will ye take this deluded woman TO
be yer lawful wife,"
you bet" .-...
And will We cherish. and defend
her and keep all the other critters
off?"
'T will"
Mrs. Jones' ye hear what the crit
ter SEE. Ye may be married. and We
may not be. but this court amt
a-goin' to run ally chances of any
future rows and killings Will ye take
Hank fur better or wussg
Reckon So"
And will do yer beet?
Yes"
Then jihe hands. u pronounce ye
man and wife, and durn my hide,
which ar the hide. Of this court, I'll
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

AS there is a FOO, Of snow on our
Sidewalk and more falling I don't see
how You stumbled over such a small
thing as a clothespin." observed Mrs.
BowSer
There are lots of things you don't
observe and :ou needn't try to split
hairs with me. | presume the gas bill
has come in for last MONTH" -
Yes"
And we are charged with burning
about million feet of gas"
The bill is only 50 cents higher
than the month before"
Only 80 cents. BY the great horn
spoon, woman. hut it ought to have
been So less, Who has wasted that
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

TT took him about two minits to
whop yo.' and YOU stay whopped all
the rese of your BON days. I jest led
yo' up to it. Zeb. kase i want to see yo'
git some sense in yo'r head. l knowed
yo'd git whopped. but reckoned
thard be huff of yo' left to build up
again. Yo' ar the whoppedest. licked
est man in all this world. and faint
no use to fool around no mo- When
yo' git up yo' jest let the fightin' biz
ness alone and tend to the con and
'taters.''
And did that adventure effect .
cure?" ] asked.
The biggest kind. sah." he replied.
When / got out doahs ag'in 1 wasn't
eatin' grass fur anybody. but ! jest
quit yellin' and steppin' high and look
in fur fuss. and l hain't had a fout
since. No man likes to be whopped.
but I'm tellin' yO' that when a man
gifts so pulled up that he thinks nuthin'
on the face of this airth kin down
him. it can't help but do him good TO
run up agin an elephant who's bin
feelin' mad fur week.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

When the coroner overhauled the
effects found on the body there came
to light $1,000 in English money and
drafts for nearly 100000 more. His
name was not Braceby. of course. but
as the City Treasurer of a town in
the West he had gobbled it's last dol
lar and fled with his ill gotten gains
to the other side of the ocean to en-
joy himself. He had not Spent thou
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

turn out and help hunt down any hu-
man critter as tries to come between
you and Hank, | now consider that
jestice has been done to all hands
and all around, and il only remains
fur the happy bridegroom TO head the
purceSsion to my saloon and treat
all hands over the happy event, and
thar won't be no ill-feclin's and
nuthin' to find fault with"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-03-14

sand dollars as yet or had a moments
comfort. He had too much conscience
and not enough nerve. II he had got
joyed himself As I looked down at
his dead body and thought Of his dis
graceful life. 1 felt something more
than a passing sorrow. As helped
carry the bruised and battered corpse
down to the town house for inquest
and burial. I found tears in my eyes
and pity in my heart.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-10-02
Woodlawn

Mr.. and Mrs. J. NJ Smith and
Elizabeth, of Plainsfield, n. j., are
visiting her sister, Mrs. c. R. Gibson:
Mrs. Elma Hewitt and chil"sen, of
New York, are guests of Miss Mary
Rawlings.
Mrs Clinton Thompson is spending
this week in Philadelphia.
Mr.. Jay Keillough moved from the
Bitner house Saturday, to Mr.. Harvey
Culbertson's house near the camp
ground.
Mrs. Clinton Jackson, Mrs. NJ. l..
Thompson. Misses M. 0. Jackson, Vir-
ginia Abrahams, Helen Cullen, Olive
jackson and Leila Thompson attended
the Goth annual convention of the w.
c. 7. u, of Cecil county, which was
held in North East NJ. E. Church, the
18th.
Mrs. Halle Weigand and children
have returned to Chester after spend
ing the summer months with relatives
here.
Mr.. John Carroll cut his ankle Sat
urday with a corn cutter and three
stitches had to be taken.
Mrs. R. G. Terry is spending this
week in Oxford.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-10-02

nard Blake. John Krumrine, John Lii
ley, Charles Mearns, Curtis VINEYARD,
Herbert T. Williams, Lester jackson,
Harry Pierson and Charles Ferguson
Mr.. and Mrs. Rowland Atkinson are
the proud possessors of a fine baby
boy.
Mrs. Charles Nesbitt, Jr., is on the
road to recovery.
Miss Mary Wright and Mrs. Harry
f. Mahoney have been at Mahoney
summer home for a few days.
Mrs. Annie 7. McNamee, of Rising
Sun, is the guest of her daughter. Mrs.
Howard Jackson.
Mr.. Creston Sturgeon and Mr.. Geo.
Hyland have been visiting Theodore
friends.
Mr.. John H. Thompson has been on
the sick list.
Mrs. Edward Hines. of Baltimore, is
the guest of Mrs. Algard.
Mr.. Howard D. jackson has erected
a fine new garage for his auto.
Mr.. and Mrs. J. Milton Smith and
little daughter, Elizabeth. are the
guests of her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
John H. Thompson.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-10-02
FRANK P. PRICE
Main and Bow Streets
ELKTON, MARYLAND

from five to eight feet high and seed
ing heavily. The same is true of the
plots of |. Wayne Reynolds and Sam
uel Tyson, Rising Sun, and Prof.
Alfred McVey, Pleasant Hill.
While one season is hardly suffi-
cient test to recommend new plant
on the results so far would justify the
advice that every farmer in Cecil
county should at least secure a few
pounds of home grown seed and test
this forage grass. as it has above been
demonstrated that it will grow on
many varying soils and conditions.