La Junta tribune., 1915-03-20
CkInneys'
Dope

hoard eighteen new stories about
~ Ford this last week but ON &C
csaat, ef lack Of room they will not
be printed until next week.
ygus es, ~ y-A> sis
Thulsmsyer sold bis almost auto
s161als 10 Chariie Ciark and the ru-
aoE YES soing around that Clark
bought Il for the purpose Of using
sshs snsiae In an electric light plant
that he proposed building soon.
}Thale dsaiss selling II for any such
purpose and what Clark says would
not be very salubrlous TO print in
the great family journal.
A large colored woman followed by
= child was heard to say. Come on
here you Egg-nos. what do you mean
by comm long 20 slow"
A by-stsnder asked her why she
called the child by such q name. She
replied. you know that niger Julie
johnson. Well she done got twins
what she call Tom and Jerry. and
Amt going to let no Niger get ahead
of me namin' her brats. Come on
here you Egg-nog.
A man walking along = road In
Missouri met wagon drawn by q
mule and containing a number OF ne
xroes. The driver. n black boy about
twenty years old. was tryiLg TO induce
ihe mule to 30 = little faster. when
srddenly Il let fly and kicked the boy
On the head and stretched tim ON the
ground. He lay there for al instant
rubbing his head.
Is he hurt!" inquired tie man
running up.
mo Boss answered one OF the
men. Dat mule will walk kinder
tender for = day or two. but he Amt
hurt much
sSoAhC uuhuONu
&c talent was brought to light on the
occasion Of the Eiks' show. notably
the performance Of VIII winchell -
. Madame Coriosi. the nightingale Of
Wickhsm Addition. This was . rev.
elation to friends and strangers alike
and brought tears TO the eyes Of
many. w. J. Hamilton gave 4 fine
performance Of sparatti the half civ
iiised switchman. He Just acted nat
ural. Paul Henkel played the deaf
and dumb wheel Of fortune man. Any
one wanting the services Of q voice.
sess spieler will make no mistake In
hiring Mr.. Henkel.
New Years resolutions BY q lad
Of fifteen yean.
Il will not put pins 10 my dear
teachers chair. tTacks will do
Just A. well.
! will not quarrel and fight with
my big brothers. Il have some lit
ue brothersD.
! will not play hockey from school
70 20 fishing or swimming. tNo,
for several months).
I will not take mothers currant
Jelly from the pantry shelves with.
out permisaion. ,Her raspberry
jan looks good 10 mel.
] will be Kind To dumb animals.
Nssch ~ lions and tissrs and eie.
DhAnts. Cats and dogs aud Charlie
Clask's goat had better hide out
When am around).
IL 10 shame the way the rising gen
Sgaetoa h singing slang. A youss
-oaa Who has just recently married
geet into . local book store aad
: asksd for . kitehea nschsnic's rule
'6ssk. The clerk did Dot sadsr.
Sand.
why. ! want . guide for phoaey
naejack flippcrs." said the purchas.
-.
The young lady thought he had
oscaped from = nut factory.
Il want hints on hash ham mering.
'sasy ess experiments. tips TO tin.
warc toiiers. safe soup steers. In
other woids want . muffin mixers
manual. DO you get me-"
A hish school teacher came In
just then and explained that the
-custoincr was after n cook book.
K expect To compile soon . guide
tc English a. she 1, spoke Ia La
Junia." or slang a. Il Is siung." do
you yet me. Hogan,
with sis~ lslg sisv~.