davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
whats the Idea7" easped.

duction of four pounds-Rnglish
money.
A few days later while l was down
town Mrs. Carruthers dropped in, also
at lunch time, and carefully explained
to friend wife that the only way to
beat back an attack of avoirdupois is
to take electric baths.
An hour later Peaches gathered up
the family plate and exchanged it for
an electric blanket, which she had sent
home Immediately.
1t was cold that night so 1 wasn't
at all surprised to see what supposed
was Mackinaw coat spread over the
bed.
1 figured on reaching Dreamland by
the fast express but, heavens! how
warm it began to get.
THE janitor is sure annoying the
radiators with lot of steam tonight"
said. feverishly, but all got was a
sharp "ShushI" from the other half of
the sketch.
A half hour passed and one by one
my features trickled away from my
face. The temperature jumped up to
211 in the dark.
For the friendship OF Nike" plead
ed, cant we throw this asbestos quilt
on the floor and come out of the fiery
furnaceH
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13

nay! have you ever noticed that the
bug called Vanity can cook up
more trouble for human beings
than any germ that ever built its nest
in brain cell?
It's a subtle little disease, this fever
we call Vanity. No man ever knows
he has it but he can always recognize
the symptoms in his neighbor.
Sometimes it breaks out in diamond
rings on the fingers; sometimes it
takes the form of ragtime clothing ac-
companied by rainbow neckties, and
sometimes it drives man into politics
who should remain at his post as the
chauffeur of a garbage wagon.
And then again there are occasions
when it never shows in a man until
after he is dead and his will reads,
Il give and bequeath the sum of thirty
thousand dollars for the purposes of
scattering my ashes from the highest
peak of the Himalaya mountains"
Hep Hardy has it for keeps. Around
at the club the other night 1 saw him
drink seven Scotch highballs because
somebody swelled him all up by telling
him he never showed the effects of
| liquor.
Then he had to lean against the
buildings all the way home.
Even friend wife isn't proof against
the Vanity microbe.
Not long ago some fresh friend told
her that she was getting stout and
Peaches promptly fell for every obes-
ity cure known to modern science.
! During her calmer moments Peaches
has the general appearance of Fetch
| erizing canary bird, but when some
amiable idiot told her that day by day
she was growing to look more and
more like a public building she ut
tered few shrill screams and started
after that obesity proposition with a
| tomahawk.
| 1 tried to flag her and talk her out
of it, but she waved me back and said
she wasn't going through this world
chaperoning a double chin.
So Peaches started in to put the
sabots to the fatty tissues, and for a
week our erstwhile peaceful home be
came two reels in the Movies entitled
"a Rough Night at Sea-"
When 1 reached home on the eve
of the Battle Of Embonpoint l found
Peaches strolling around the campus
made up to look like lady scarecrow
Her face was concealed behind a mus
lin mask, there was feverish glitter
in her eyes and in both hands she
clutched a book which proclaimed
itself THE Road to Beauty; or, How
to Get Thin Without Calling in the
Coroner"
AS 1 breezed through the turnstil'
with a CHEEKY Good eventide, Las
sie!" she turned her acetylene lamp!
on me and burned me to standstill
Then she threw both herself and thu
book on our nearly-Persian rug ant
began to roll around the room. Seek
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13

ing new worlds to conquer, she rolled
out into the dining room. bumped into
the sideboard, and exit, rolling into
hall with glass-crash.
What's the idea?" 1 gasped, when
friend wife rolled back into my life
again and dropped anchor in Morris
chair.
Reducing" she answered in the
still, small voice of a Marathon run
ner at the end OF the ninety-fourth
mile. Then she rushed out and
weighed herself and came back with
the glad tidings that she'd lost six
and one-quarter ounces.
Eat one of our new cooks break
fast rolls and get it back permanent
ly," 1 suggested, and Peaches didn't
speak to me for twenty minutes.
The next morning Aunt Louisa Milf
fendale, who weighs 278 in her war
paint, fioated in and told Peaches that
she had picked out the wrong kind of
exercise, and presently / was chased
OF downtown for a rowing machine, a
set of Indian clubs and sixty cents
worth of dumbbells.
That evening Peaches jumped mer-
rily aboard the rowing machine and
bore away to the northeast, with a
strong ebb tide on the port bow.
She was about four miles up the
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
ID. II. Freeman
FIRE, ACCIDENT AND
HEALTH INSURANCE
PHONE 2s5
L. & N. Time Table
South Bound

South Bound
No. 31-Cincinnati to Atlanta, arrives ana
departs ll:52 p m.
No. 71-Richmond to Stanford, departs
700 a. m.
No. louisville to Beattyville, arrives
1910 p. m, departs 12:15 p. m.
No. 37-Cincinnati to Knoxville, arrives
11:l5 a. m, departs l2:l5 p. m.
No. Cincinnati to Jacksonville, arrives
and departs l1:l9 a m.
No. 27-Richmond to Louisville via. Row.
land, departs 1855 pm.
No. 3-Louisville to BeattyvilIe, arrives
Gas p. m, departs TBS p. m.
No. 9-Cincinnati and MaysvilIe to Stan
ford, arrives TBS. departs 7:30 p. m
North Bound
No. 34-Atlanta to Cincinnati, arrives and
departs AIS a m.
No. Stanford to Cincinnati and Mavs-
vile, arrives Sos a. m, departs
Clio a. m.
No. 2-Beattyville to Louisville, arrives
us a. m, departs 7:20 a. m.
NO. Z0-IOulSVlhe 10 RICHMOND VIA. KOiH-
land, arrives 12:1O p. m.
No. 81 Knoxville to Cincinnati. arrives
l:3o p. m, departs las p. m.
No. 70-Stanford to Richmond, arrives
2:30 p. m.
No. 4-Beattyville to Louisville, arrives
1:30 p. M. departs lbs p. m.
No. Jacksonville to Cincinnati, arrives
and departs Sis.
No. 60-Sunday only. arrives 6:15 4. M,
Z departs 6:25 al
No. 69-Arrives HOP p. m.
Nos. 10, 2, 81, 81 SO, 81 "a. %. 80. 80. are
daily train3- Nos. II, 9. 10. 2. a,
20, daily except Sundays
Nos. 80 and 80 are fast, solid though
trains, Cincinnati, Ohio, to Jacksonville,
Fla, carrying drawing-room, observation
sleeping cars and coaches Dining car be+
tween Cincinnati and Atlanta. Z
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
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The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
SEEING LIFE 1Uih
rAN,a JOHN HENRY
SSSa e. George I1obart
1S[a(y9e' John Henry On Vanity
John Henry On Vanity

river and going hard when a strap
broke, whereupon Peaches went over
board with splash that upset most
of the furniture in the room and
knocked her manicure set down be-
hind the bureau.
One of the oars went up in the air
and landed on the bridge of my nose,
because my face happened to be in
the way when the oar came down
When loving hands finally untangled
Peaches from the chain drive of a
rocking chair, she found that, with the
help of the rowing machine, she had
lost nearly two pounds-mostly OF the
end of her elbow.
A day or two later Mrs. Fitzenstaatz,
who tips the beam at 243, Topped in like
an amiable seal and told Peaches that
her system of physical torture was all
wrong. Once more / hotfooted it for
the shopping district and returned
with one of those rubber contrivances
which you carefully fasten to the wall,
and then take hold of the handles and
try to pull it off again.
Bright and early the next glad morn,
ing Peaches grabbed the handles and
was getting away from her fat little
/ self at the rate of an ounce an hour
when one of the rubber strings sud-
| denly quit the job and then something
kicked Peaches just where a good
singer gets her coloratura.
When Peaches fell wounded on the
| field of battle she decided hurriedly
that something must fall with her so
she selected our new talking machine,
| and there was such a crash that our
new cook thought the end of the world
had arrived and she ran screaming in
| the direction of Paterson, N. ].
1 had to pour a pitcher of ice water
over Peaches facial expression before
| she came to, and then she found that
all she had lost by the new process
was her breath and $24 worth of rec
ords.
She was sitting on Caruso, with
her left foot embedded in Tetrazzini
while fragments of a Victor Herbert
medley nestled coyly in her hair.
Mrs. Gadfrey dropped in next day
about lunch time and told Peaches
that the only real way to reduce the
flesh is to take long walk; SO Peaches
picked out long walk and took it.
After she was gone about six hours,
and it was getting dark she called me
up on the long distance and broke the
news to me that she had walked some
fifteen miles, and that she had been
terribly extravagant and had used up
all the walk that was in her, and would
l please be so kind as to send taxi
and not leave her to perish in a
strange land among the savage tribes
in the Bronx.
When Peaches reached home that
night she found that all the flesh she
had lost was her pocketbook contain
ing ten dollars, and was set back ten
dollars for cab hire, making total re
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
Sandwiches and Sandwich Filings.

odnO"lCn0S ana oaHo"lSn
Honey Sandwich.-Spread thin slices
of bread with very thick honey that
will not run readily; spread other side
with butter stirred with cream. Press
one slice of each together and cut into
fancy shapes If something tasty is de-
sired for an afternoon tea.
Baked Bean Sandwich.-Reduce the
beans to pulp (red kidney beans pre-
ferred). Mix pulp with melted butter,
onion juice, a pinch of dry mustard,
few olives or pimentos chopped and a
dash of tomato ketchup or chill sauce.
Spread the mixture between slices OF
brown bread. Chilli sauce is generally
used.
Deviled Ham Sandwiches.-To make
deviled ham chop very fine one pint
Of boiled ham (more fat than lean), six
hard boiled eggs, one teaspooHful Of
mustard (the made kind), season and
press in a mold. This will keep for
weeks and Is a good filling for sand
witches.
Filings for sandwiches are numer-
Gus and nearly always on hand. First
there come the sweet filings. such as
creamy Judges of all kinds, mashed
| chocolate creams, maple filings. creamy
maple fudge, caramel fudge. candied
| ginger as garnish for outside Of sand
witches, also as a filling; raisins chop
ped and mixed with fudge or chopped
and mixed with butter, etc. They
make a good filling. They do not at
tack digestion quite so harshly when
used in this manner and. may be used
between crackers, cookies or bread
with good results and are always liked
by those who use them. Second
come the cheese filings, American
cheese and Swiss cheese. and they
may be cut wafer thin and served in
many ways with pimentos on buttered
bread. Nuts and raisins are popular
now as sandwich filings, as are alsC
the meat, chicken and vegetable fll
lngs.
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
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The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
HOW ONE MAN GOT HIS START
Couldn't Go in for a Literary Career,
So Went Into Hardware
Business.

st got my start in life," said a
wealthy retired hardware dealer, in
a singular manner.
You might not think it, having
passed the major portion of my life in
selling nails, padlocks, stoves and
shovels, but in my early youth my
great ambition was to be a writer, an
author. l had no doubt whatever
that that was what l was cut out
for, and certainly / worked at it good
and hard; but none of the publishers
to whom l sent my things seemed to
agree with me. AS fast as l sent
the things in to them they would send
them back.
But that didn't worry me. 1 knew
that sooner or later they would come
to like what l wrote and buy it. What
got my goat was the expense. l was
very ready writer and l wrote long
pieces. The stamps 1 had to use to
send these pieces out and get them
back cost me a lot of money.
When 1 realized how much 1 was
paying out for stamps l said to my
self: 'Rumpfl I'll save up that money
for five years and then I'll go to writ
ing again And for the next five years
1 did put aside regularly the amount
that / would otherwise have spent for
stamps and you would be surprised
if 1 should tell you how much 1t
amounted to. But at the end OF that
time / did not again take up writing.
Just at that time the senior part
ner of the hardware store in our town
died and HE hairs draw ont all hia
interest in the firm. There was a
chance for a man with little cap
ital to get into good business. l had
the capital, by accumulated stamp
money, and 1 bought that interest in
the hardware store.
From that time on / was always
too busy to write; but my great sue
cess in the hardware business you
can clearly trace to my original ambi-
bition for authorship"
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
NoncommittaI.

In many ways the Cornishman re-
minds one Of the Scot. When he has
absolute knowledge of a thing he is
"sure for sartin." but he prefers to be
sure as can be-" which admits OF a
loophole. In ordinary conversation he
likes little mystery and takes care
not to give himself away. This. from
j. Henry Harris Cornish Saints and
Sinners" illustrates in general way
the point:
Where are you going" Down
along" Where tor Past the cor
ner." How far" "a pure bit" "wHl
you be long" Maybe 'Say an
hour?" IF you like" "Or twoY'
Shouldn't wonder"
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
LOCUST BoRER.

Does Large Amount of Damage In
State-A Method of Control Sought.
A feature of forest protection which
mas been brought to the attention of
the state forester's Office is the locust
borer. an insect which attacks locust
trees The black locust has been eX-
tensively planted in Kentucky for
posts. and there is hardly farm in
Kentucky that does not utilize to a
more or less extent black locust in
this way. Several farm owners have
planted extensive locust groves for
tie purpose of having posts available
when needed, Also the railroads and
mining companies have planted black
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13

locust for ties and other purposes on
account of its durability in contact
with the ground. Black locust is also
extensively planted to regenerate worn
out soil, since it is a legume, as clover
or cowpeas. The locust borer has
recently done large amount of dam
age in Kentucky. In some instances
it has destroyed whole groves. In Or
der to combat this the entomologist of
the Kentucky experiment station, in
cooperation with the state forester,
has been conducting study of the
locust borer through the state. The
damage from this insect has been re-
peatedly called to the attention of the
state forester and is not confined to
any particular section of the state, but
is pretty widely scattered.
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13

screaming! Take it away! Take it
away! Now 1 know what a hard life
the third rail must lead!"
think the electric blanket has
cured friend wife.
At any rate all the exercising do
funnys have been presented to the jan
itor's children, and Peaches has prom.
ised to be kind to double chin if Ma
ture slips her one.
Old King Solomon had the right idea
when he said to his typewriter, Van
ity, vanity, all is vanity!"
If surgeon could remove our Van
ity as easily as he removes an appen
dix there'd be lot more money in the
savings bank.
What do you think?
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
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The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
The pevIps Own.

The Inns of Court Officers Training
corps is proud of its traditional name,
the DEVILS Own, title which links
it with the patriots of the four inns,
who formed volunteer corps in the
time of the Napoleonic wars. 1T was
George III who bestowed the title on
the corps. He was reviewing bands of
volunteers and. as one particularly
smart body Of men passed before
him, asked who they we're. Law
yers." was the reply. THE DEVILS
Own, the DEVILS Own" said the old
king, who had habit of repeating his
phrases. And the lawyers, who had a
sense of humor, adopted the title with
glee.-London Chronicle.
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
SQ37N AXOnLN7X

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The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
Won't Lift a Hand.

''It's well to believe in the conserva-
ton of energy"
Perhaps So"
But Boneson carries 1t too far"
Just what do you meant"
THE nearest he ever comes to hail
ing trolley car is to give the motor
man reproachful Birmingham
Age Herald.
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
Darnino Hint.

When darning run the thread around
the hole first. drawing the hole up I'M
i'll the edges lie fat on the darner. The
hole will seem much smaller. and the
darn can be made more satisfactorily.
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
Half Dons.

81 can't remember the words Of that
new song" said the girl.
THAT makes 1t easier,v replied her
father. Nov all you've got to do to
make home happy is to forget the
tune. ~ Washington STAR
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
Fully Informed.

Woodles-Did you ever know any
body with as much savoir faire as
Mrs. Jones?
Toodles-Faith, never did. And
they say her husband made it all In
pickles too.-Harvard Lampoon.
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13

The Victor typewriter is the newes
and best machine on the market
27tf Marion Lilly, Agent
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13
Hone.

Hope inspires courage. it is the mu-
sic Of life. the anchor OF the soul and
the forerunner of success
The Decisive Moment
Clara-What constitutes the decisive
moment in an engagement? Dora
Asking the pater's consent. probably
The Climax-Madisonian. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1914-1917, 1915-10-13

GRANT E. LILLY
ATToRNEY-AT-LAW
Office Second Street RICHMOND, KY
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1915-09-30
The ''unterrifed'' of Minnesot.

The "unterrifed'; of Minnesota
as usual are at outs over the division
of the --spoils,- not only state but
national. Hon. James A. Novel;,
chairman of the Ramsey county
democratic central commi ttee. writes
the Fairmont Sentinel letter in
which he voices his criticism of the
distribution of patronage in Mime.
sofa. Col. Day at one time had con
siderable to do with the distribution
of state patronage, and it is entirely
possible and probable that he was
unable to satisfy all the office.
hungry democrats. A man capable
of doing that would be a miracle.
worker.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1915-09-30
ANENT COUNTY FAIRS,

Writing on County Fairs, Genez-
ally Speaking,''' Editor Bjornson Of
the Minneota Mascot among other
things pertinently remarks:
T, It takesntime, it takes money but
above: all it takes ability and energy
to do the publicity work of COM
munity.
A county fair does this for it's To-
cality better than almost anything
else, and for this reason the people
of the county should join hands with
the fair management and help in
every way possible.
People should try to see the good
points about the fair land if there
are some mistakes, as there are
bound to be, these should be over
looked as far as possible. and the men
in charge should be given the bene-
fit of doubt every time.
It is easy enough to 60 to county
fair and find fault-it is s'durn
sight, harder to put on the fair and
have it faultless. ~
A good county fair not only has a
tendency to bring new settlers to a
county but it adds to the value of
the farms Of a county and makes it
easier for a man who wants to dis
pose of his farm to do SO.
There is only one right way to
look att the county fair proposition
and that is as a publicity feature
helping every farmer and every prop.
erty owner in the county.
Instead of knocking you should
boost.
If the fair does, not suit you. il
you see things at it that.you think
should not be there 90 to the man.