davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Roosevelt a la ULYSSES.

THE Teddysee tells how the godke Teddysee our srenu
Theodore sets Oblivion, but misses the train
He wanders into Africa he hikes on the way he
hears the Song OF the Sirens to
america to find his beloved Penelope far with
tons OF her political suors. The
them with his pages OF merry reading
The march OF the epic numbers by little lyrics Here
Is part Of the High Tariff Spinning Song
"f Uplift Is good--and they say that ii is
It's bully in any direction;
It's fine In Religion, it s better in Biz
But in Tariff it's simply perfection
SO we'll hike mp the schedules and breeks
On rice, cotton hour-can you beat EN-?
Copyright. 1915 Compan
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Twins HoOdlum Humor.

IT HRouGtI the Love runs the story
or the love of Willie for his Mame-a tale OF ex-
pressed in slang than language
mas heen credited Bad luck the
doughty lovers standard Murphy Willie
sings or The sad elimination 10 his woong following
Al noon to-day Murphy and Name
Gospel huckster did the referee.
And all the Drug Clerks Union 10
me queen OF Minnie street become a bride.
And that bad actor, Murphy, by side
Standing where Yours Despondent ought o be.
went TO hang smile in
but weeps were in glimmers
The pastor murmured. and two make one"
AND slipped a sixteen Nantes grab;
Nnd when the game tied all
The guests SHE'D footwear a bridal cab
And Murphy's little gilt-roofed brother Jim
Snickered, She's left her happy 70 him
The two last stsnzas Of the eplogue ring
To Just one girl I've tuned my bazoo
Strnsing my pipe dream off
And as I've tipped the straight word.
IT YOU don't like it you know O
Perhaps you think I've handed
An idle jest, ouch-menot.
As any kybue-pink canary bird
Billed for a record q Zoo
n that's your guess you'll to guess again.
For this fzzed in burst of glory
And this rhythmatic sde-show contain
The sum and substance of my hard story,
Showing how Vanity is still deck
Ana humble Virtue gets it in the neck.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Togo on Bill Board Advertising.

IN travelling through American raicar cannot
interest my branthoughts in birds flowers because OF
large conversation which painted nature
by sweet rnnny Is sgn-post of fierce red
Table Water. 1t Is Sufficient OF ain
reckless blue Razoo Making
Climb Up BY lovely signature Norman Dat
Ihey Chew themselves Meadow
hopfrogs aggressive bottles adycorse etc
which eminent American scuptors has
somewhere behind these but what doing? Maybe she
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Togo's Ideas on AutomobiIiup

(OONi there red %hzz passing 1t are a0tomobe NJ
- French extraction disposition nv front sna soto
attv gentleman who is look
ike It, Nearly to him Hon. clasping teeth for
H'"e ''''' '''
dust " ' e"''"e SUMS
6omie hourly we going IT," say.he with wheels
Extreme slowness," derange Hon Finance
More pushes by gasoline
VI what speedneSS now?' hen Trust Magn
'lb'mie horsepower after wi lung
EXaggerae IT. elapsc Hon. mania
Hon CHATTER tryto but angry rage Of cops
ana 40 an explosion by fence where fraSons
patiently injury enjoyed by passengers who aar of
among coverfeld where they to. -. "
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
From "Omar Khayyam, Jr"

A GRAND Piano underneath the Bough,
"A Gramophone, Chinese Gong, and Thou
TRYING to sing an Anthem off the Key
Oh. Paradise were Wilderness enow,
Creation stands between the Won't and Will:
Yes. and that Doubt Infnitude might fill
II took nine Taiors once to make n Man:
1t took nine more to make him pay the Bill.
Then let the beloved Tobacco be my Sheath
The ardent Weed above me and beneath.
And let me like Living Incense rise,
A Fifty-cent Cigar between my teeth
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
FriCken ChiCkasee.

REND enlarged fence resembling crisscross
II near sentiment expressed in
up 10 majority We make walkin hat eha
ieties of feathered scracers stalking forth back
while peckng bugs from weed How we're 10 see
them chasing butterfly with flop OF wing while yet
cned idly beneath while with dirt
How fortunate 1t are to be Bird" happily While
man must lay bricks, birds merely eggs"
These do not deposit reng coolishy They ara
only Y size " "
Nhe she spoke this electromagnetic o my poetry long
came enormalous high o safracee appear
watze such appearances Of hI
do7e that all chickens scatter rightly
20 suredly such hen II M, oo
lazy" I narrate - 7e : 49, W."
a 800 ' "'e
] did not say reply.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21

friendship preense you wrote Japanese
e'ter 10 magazine from idea you
unacquained II Japanese should talk similar
from how what could OF noble?
Please think angel and not devil about
VIII be scorn by heathens too Christian
do not wish
scod YOU with insulting voice of dove.
Yours sincerity
KURO
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Moving Day-Also Sorry to Observe 50 Much Jugs
China and Ancestors Bursted by Striking
Me While Worked

cells Angry elbows to be slipping everywheres
while each ladies and gentleman
without intending to there Such chucky OF
ducknG away from music amid bounces o
containing great poetry could understand
could do this American jiuitsu without
their personality. And yet ambulance "a called.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
The k-Enders.

HTOGO" she It. train Mrs & Mr. Ak
weder will arrive In custody OF Hon Husband Kindly
hitch Sarah the and
elope depot wiph coachman expression"
forthly horsegarage where Hon. eating
his So hitched
depot where stood proudly clutching grand
thumbs resembling Newport.
Tootoo OF 2:22 Three human personalities eoped fohly
from Pulinany train One Hon. Spggot
OF courteous Another enlarged gentlemen
Republican expression Another lady
whose nose contained great snobbery amidst eyegass
1t such pleasant change to
mild horseback
expensive automobiles. she swectshly
1ogg off ::
We prefer this style It's health
growell Hon. Spggo Yet he attempt appear hospital.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21

have general reportoriaI experience
specializing When got down In Chinatown went into
JOSS house and sat there listening sing
and absorbed little Of the local color thought I'd
come into the office the next day and do great story
it,
"As as reached homo the phone rang and the
city editor asked what luck I'd had, what I'd
seen in Chinatown told him what I'D been doIna there
and he said:
81 Just thought I'd call up and tell you the news
There hundred thousand robbery lust around
the corner from that Joss house hour ago You 90
get job magazine"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
He Tackles the Tango-Tea.

was very hard science describe tangowatze when
saw It, Mr.. Editor similar to a mnuet danced Inv
Great Britain Rights Reserved
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21

But We'll let down the bars Italian Antiques
Because folks can't wear em eat EN-"
chute into the internal basement Of IIades There
18th the crushed spirits OF his foes and behod spectre
many familiar monsters These grizzly called
give their college YELL whereat they hideou
Orus:
I'VE the Grafters,
We the Thugs,
We the Crooks and the Shorts and Ugs;
We the Preds
And the Wealthy Mails
We are the Corporation Pals;
We are the Rebate Spells Distributors
We are the Campaign Fund Contributors;
The Meddling Mats
The Moycods
The Standing Pats.
The Salary Gods
The GrubS of Cannon,
The Slaves Of Mammon.
The PorkKeg Grabbers,
The CorkI.eg Sabbers
The Senate Protected,
Doodle Directed,
Toothess
Truthess,
Utterly ruthless,
Soot-bad,
I.oot-mad.
Cogs unclean.
or the old Republican Coin Machine
Har! Har!
That's what arei"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
He SWats the Fly.

5@E4OW much flies we caught this Togo? II.
al Six say it. Five house butter"
"unloosen Hon Butterfly" dement, should not
punish natures lovely nsex OF
So grRb that lovely insex and him from
MS sticky toes But when done SO he turn meany
ME on thumb with hot end Of his poison tail.
That butterfly wasp"
'Wasps does little HARM sweetishy.
What little they be noticed
And
After 2a days OF continuous hymanship became extremely
skllfu My
flies AT distance of IS IT. Fy walking I'M
windows Then time for My eyebrows, containing
gunpowder expression peculiar hide behind
cnrain-shade with cruel hand containing Fly
approach little imagining Now and he
rubb his mns together they will ready catch
diseases Still sjently
like cells drinking milk. And then.
BY this warfare broke
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Letters Sent to Wallace Irwin by Japanese
Followers of Hashimura Togo.

X TR IRWIN,
wi Dear Mr. Irwin.
beg to respectfully a application for the position
OF the cook Beg offer your your
employ 1872 TO H. and since left Ashland
lancaste Pa But
your family or some place and If need kindly
at the Vine Club Philadelphia and thanking
pttly shall pleasant times which was
Ashland Hoping to you give favorable reply.
Very
KONDO SHIMAMURA.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-02-21
Dear Sir Irving:

Dear Sir Irving:
understood how know of chauf-
feur for ottomoble.
any other American education which
apply time when racQuired.
Your truly friend
THOMAS
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11
The Best Policy.

My young friend, let me tell you something. You can't afford to be anything else than strictly honest. You can't afford for any temporary gain to have the least trace of a stain on your. good name. You may lot realize it now, but the day will come when you will see only too plainly that reputation is not a thing to be traded off for few patry dollars. You can't be dishonest and not have the people find it out. You may fool them once, or even twice, but the day soon comes when you must fall. The world has no use for a dishonest boy or girl. There is no place in the business mart for them, none in politics, religion or society. If you steal and are crooked, you must live in the world of thieves and crooks.
 No young person who is known as thief ever succeeds m the world. The brand of dishonesty on a young person is a raillstone around the neck that drags to sure ruin. The few dollars you are able to gain dishonesty in your early days will grow and grow until they are insurmount. able barriers in after years. Honesty is the best policy. The time to realize it is now, before you have burned your fingers.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

A little baby girl was born near here recently and the first time it's five years old brother looked at his new sister he said, Nam. ma, what did Sears < Roebuck charge for that thing?"
 Moral Sears & Roebuck ad- vertise their business so thor oughly that even the little child ren know them. Go thou, Mr. Carlisle Merchant and do like wise if you want your name and business konw to the world.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11
Newspaper Advertising.

If a member of your family died, would you print the resolu- tions on billboard?
 If your wife entertains would you send an account of it to the theater program man?
 If you were going to enlarge your business would you adver- tise it in a hotel register?
 If you were going to have a wedding in your family would you get out a hand bill?
 You would send such items to newspaper wouldn't you?
 Then why don'tyou put your advertisements in a newspaper?
 Every man who uses the bill board is adding to nature faking.
 Every dollar spent in theater program, in register, in a di- rector, or in a hand bill, is a le- gitimate dollar taken away from the newspaper of your town.
 The newspaper build your town, why not help build up your newspaper? There is no better advertisement in the world for a town than a good newspaper.
 A newspaper is the barometr of the towns industry. Show us good newspaper full of ad yertising and we will show you a good town, full of live merchants.
 Billboards are an eyesore; hand bills are nusance; theater programs are worthles; hotel registers from an advertising stand point, are redidulous.
 Newspapers are town builders, town advertising, fortune makers news dissematers. sermon del iverers, prosper ity- forecasters- they are necessity, not luxruy; they must be maintained. With out them they would retrograde to the miedvial days.
 Don't patronize them from a charitable stand d-point-uatfo onize them because they deliver the goods-that is if they are the right kind.
 Cut out the foolishness and work for the upbuilding of your town and state by upbuilding your newspaper.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

A farmer asked the Indepen dent man the other day if Mr. --w was still Tn business in Car lisle. When he was told that Mr. was still on the business calendar in a way, he seemed greatly surprised and said. T thought he had quit business as I never see his ad in the paper. ; MT. Merchant, don't let the peo- pie think you have quit business. Advertise in this paper, it reach. es the people.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

If you want to enjoy heaven on earth for a few days just mind your own business. If you have not enough to keep you buisy buy yourself a Waterbury watch.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

The enormous loss sustained by business generally and by every citizen of Arkan- sas through the decreased buying power of the railroads is strikingly illustrated by the great falling off in the past year in the pur chase by the railroads of lumber, ties, piling and other forest products.
 On the lines of six of the principal roads traversing the state of Arkansas the load ing of railroad ties for 1914, compared to the previous year, records decrease of $500 cars, or approximately 3,800,000 less ties were bought. There are now over l. 100000 ties assembled on the right of way Of one railroad in Arkansas, or in the hands of the producer, which the railroad is un- able to purchase, and more than another million are reported to be on the right of way of other roads awaiting a purchaser. About TO per cent of these are ties that have been hewn by farmers. The railroads have use for these ties and would like to purchase them, and thereby help the farm CTS and other owners, but through lack of funds they are unable to do so.
 A statement from one car building con- pany having plants in several parts of the country shows that under normal condi- tions they purchase annually 300000,000 feet of lumber for use in construction of railroad cars, costing S9,000.00O. The car building plants of this company, located in
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11
Cure for Blind Staggers.

As soon as the animal is strick en. inject strong ammonia water in nostril and hold a sponge sat- urated in ammonia water over nostril. It will give immediate relief and remove the cause.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

Blue sky makes a poor shelter for farm tools and machinery, but manufacturers are by no means averse to such arrange mentS.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

Business activity in this vicin- ity is taking on new vlgor and it looks as if the spring months are to be lively ones for our people.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

The devil has a tough time get ting a snare about the feet of a girl who has a good mother.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

Boys should remember that the time will come when they know no more than their fathers.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

Somehow an employer never seems to want man who is out of a job.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

About the only secret some people can keep is a mean story on themselves
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

It is a pure waste of time be angry at man whose wife takes in washing
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

OTHER LINES All other lines will a all be kept the highest point with onable servcabe saeabe merchandise such all need all times shall endeavor to keep what you want See us before buying Special Features Shall be the order of the We will every week something special before buying
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

Many a man buys more than a ribbon for his typewriter.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11
Way Arkansans Are Interested in the Prosperity Of Arkansas
 Railroads

the St. Louis district, use 100,000,000 feet of lumber yearly, at cost of S3000000, and the greater portion of which is pur- chased in Arkansas, but they are buying practically no lumber under present con- ditions. The enormous shrinkage in con- sumption annually has almost paralyzed the lumber industry in this state.
 Every additional dollar put into the chan nels of trade in Arkansas is of value to ev- cry citizen of Arkansas.
 For the twelve months ending October, 1914, six railroads in this Western district show decrease of S6,000,000 in their pay rolls compared with the previous year. Railroads must retrench in every depart ment at the same time endeavor to retain their organization, hoping and believing that the people will come to their rescue and place the railroads in a position to pur- chase new equipment and material for bet terments and extensions and enable manu- lecturers to provide employment for hun dreds of thousands of men now out of work and formerly employed in industries which supply the railroads.
 Mr. Citizen of Arkansas, the restoration of the three-cent rate will mean much for the prosperity of the railroads and the prosperity of the railroads means prosper ity for the entire industrial system of your state.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11
The Railroads Of Arkansas

Charlie Hutson spent segeral days in Lonoke last week visit ing and attending Court.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

Cotton Seed Meal. Marble & Downs.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

That Coffee that leaves a pleas ant taste in your mouth you get at Buechley's.
The Carlisle independent., 1915-02-11

DRY GOODS Our Dry Goods stock will be at all times keyed up the seasonabe servcabe saeabe lines that keeping with the times See before buying.
 SHOES This line will be kept the minute with strict " hoh grade merchandise sold the lowest possible prices consistent with merchandising and will at all times have snecal values in special See before buying
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-01-21
COMMERCIAL CLUB
COLLECTING FUND

Members Of the Commercial club
are meeting with success in the eollec-
tion of a fund to conduct the publicity
campaign at the San Francicso exposi-
ton. When the publicity fund was
clipped by the county court, 1t became
necessary for the club not only TO
raise by the subscription the amount
promised TO be used in supplementlng
the court fund, but also the $500 deficit
made by the courts clipping OF the
budget.
Thirteen hundred dollars Of the mon
ey to be collected will be used for the
San Francisco exhibit, while 500 viii
be expended for club purposes.
The following members Of the organ
ization are soliciting subscriptions
A. o. Adams, Cascade Locks; M. X.
Noble. Ruthton; Gus Miller and A. ID.
Ramsey, Belmont; F. G. Sherrieb and
Roy d. Smith, West Barrett; W. h.
Dyer and W. L. Nichols. Oak Grove
c. G.. Paddock, II. NJ. Holbrook and 2.
o. Bonebrake, East Barrett; Hans
Lage. NJ. Dragseth, Sam Freeman, &C.
Dethman, Joe Porter and j. e. Jarvis.
Pine Grove: o. L. Walter and Geo.
Sheppard, Odell; c. p. Johansen, Up
per Valley, and members Of the board
of directors, the city.
The collecting committee were guests
Saturday at an informal luncheon given
by +. O. Blanchar at the Mount Hood
hotel
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-01-21
MORE BARNS

Among the items of the Oak Grove
correspondent this week appears the
news that a number of the residents of
that section are increasing their activ-
tiles in diversified farming. Similar
activities have been noted in all parts
of the Hood River valley.
Many new barns have been con
structed in the apple districts the past
summer. by far more substantial
barns than any other structures have
been built this year. Next to the
home the barn is the most important
building on the farm, and wherever a
good barn exists there frugality ant
prosperity abide supreme.
AS the Glacier has often said before,
apple raising will always be the pre-.
dominant industry of the Hood River
valley, but the grower that branches
to limited diversified farming will
never have cause to regret it.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-01-21
GOVERNMENTAL ECONOMY

Ii appears from the manner in which
they have begun their labors that the
Oregon state Legislature will make q
record for economy The lawmakers
Of the state are apparently putting
into practice real economy. The tax.
payers of the commonwealth are hop
ing that when the session ends and
when next years budgets are being
made out favorable results will show.
Many kinds of economy are proposed
and put into effect by legislative bod
les. Some are characterized by penny
wise theories that lose sight of the
possible saving of pounds. Such a
condition is almost as bad as willful
extravaganza. However, the legisla-
tors now at Salem are showing that
they are ready to stop wasteful meth
DDS and to put into practice methods
that will save the states money.
The signs are gratifying ones. Al
most every state government has been
extravagant, not only in conducting its
business, but in the laws passed and
appropriations made. The same criti-
cism may be made of the federal gov.
eminent Why should not the business
of the state and nation be conducted in
a businesslike manner?
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-01-21
COMMERCIAL CLUB SUBSCRIPTION

However sincere any man may have
opposed the publicity fund when con-
sidered by the county court, when that
body held its budget meeting in Decem'
Der, and however much that same man
may have been pleased with the action
of the court, the action of the CONNER
cial club in rsllying to the support Of
the campaign for the purpose Of ex-
plotting the Hood River valley at the
San Francisco exposition will certainly
arouse his admiration Steps had al
ready been taken toward providing for
an exhibit at the San Francisco fair,
and expenses had been incurred. The
members of the club are now raising
the sum of $1,000. A portion of the sum
had already been promised by the club
for the years publicity work. But the
committeeman in charge of the solicita-
tion for subscriptions are also raising
an amount that will make up for the
deficit left when the county court cut
the publicity fund appearing in the
budget items.