davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23
FABLES cz M :!
SLANG \. AR ,! ;: !
q IG-H& 49, ~~~ a2a1axz9 . scaoz ACE i

j, took many an Egg to nave Liza
nroperly Conservatorled' -, !
A. last she came home With pi-
nloma showing that she was an Ac'
treSs. -, n,,
After that she merely needed a Play
and a Company and lot OF scenery
and a Manager and Theater ana 'le
soft old Public buying of the sca'peis
in order to realize her modest Amol-
tion to become q Real Star.
She took her Diploma and the local
Press Notices up to New YORK 10 see
what she could get on them, and found
900 other incipient Modieskss NIT
ting the worn Trail that led from one
Agency to another
Artistic TempeTaments we're more
Abundant than Lamp Posts and gel
ting an Audience with e Big Gun was
| inst as easy as Opening "a Time-Lock
with q Hat Pit.
she had an offer at tie Hippodrome
to walk in front of an Elephant waV-
ing a prop Palm, but she spurned IT,
because she was ready to 90 Desoe-
mona at a Moments Notice.
AS for the Laudatory Article wit
Yen nv a would-be Willie Winter Of the
wild and woolly West, she couldn't
find any one in the neighborhood OF
And Street who had ever heard OF
the Tank Town in which her Folks
were so Prominent
In order to get Experience, she
signed up with a No. Company, play
ing the Part of the deaf-and-dumt
LADY who crosses the Stage and re
moves the Tea Things early In the
, Second Act
When the Troupe went on the Rocks
at Mauch Chunk, Penna., the erstwhii'
. Favorite of the Pocahontas Club fount
, herself sitting on a Trunk marked
"Theater" standing of Deputy Sher
If and waiting for an Answer to ne
Wire.
The First Old Woman, who remen
bered Edwin Booth, came and sat be
side her.
: DO not be discouraged, Honey,
said She. go right back and start a
S over, and possibly sometime Mex
r Year you will again have the blesse
Privilege of going up neglecte
v Alley twice Day and changing you
It Clothes in a Barn. Any Girl wit
It your Looks and Family Connection
= can curl up in Four-Poster at nigf
and then saunter to the Bath over
n soft Rug in the Morning, but only
D throbbing Genius can make thes
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23

Night Jumps in Day Coach and stop
at Hotel which Is operated as an
Auxiliary to a first-class Saloon. 1t
will be Hard Shedding for the first
Is or 20 years. but by the time you
are As you may reasonably count on
getting 20 weeks out Of every So, run
ming around in front Of Kineto-
scope"
Lila pulled into the Scene Of her
Early Triumphs with a mere sugges-
ton Of No. 4 Grease Paint still lin
gering behind her Ears.
AS the Train rolled through the
Yards, the Foreman of the Section
Gang narrowly escaped being hit in
the Head with a tin Makeup Box.
hurled from the rear Of the Otservs,
ton Car.
Next day she had a strip Of Red
Carpet spread for the Haberdasher
and was learning to Cook in Paper
| Bags.
Whenever she hears of Good Show
coming to Town. she invites all of hel
Friends to come out to the Bungalow
and Play Rhum on the Mission Fur
niture.
MORAL: The True Friend of HUI
mainly is one who goes to the Home
Talent Benefit for "nmething ani
Kisses all Evening.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23
PUTS BAN ON ANCIENT JOKES
Bank Teller, Driven to DESPERATION
Officially Announces the Canning
of Musty Wittcisms.

The paying teller in one OF the
large trust companies, which mas
many woman depOsitors, has just hao
this framed and hung up on the wall
Of his cage:
"Notice-The following old jokes
are officially canned:
81. The joke about the woman VINO
drew a check wrong, threw it into the
fire. and then called up the bank ID
q panic and asked that payment on
the check be stopped immediately
"2, The joke about the woman VINO
went into a bank and thought she
could open the same kind Of an &C.
count as in a department store, SET
Ting up at the end of the month.
"3. The joke about the woman "no'
when her husband opened a bank ac-
count for her, was afraid to ORA"
checks because she thought people
might find out how much she was
spending and what it was for.
Il. The joke about the woman "ho'
when told by the bank that she had
oyerlrawn her account, insisted that
it couldn't be, as she had several blank
checks left in her check book.
IS. The joke about the woman VINO
went up in the air and was grlevously
insulted because the cashier (Who
lived on the same street, insisted
that she must be identified upon pre-
senting a check for payment.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23
HAMPERED BY PAST ERRORS
Necessary Reforms Hard to Effect Be.
cause of the Mistakes Made
by Other Generations.

Civilization often seems like an Old
irunkard who is forever taking one
more drink to work off the effects OF
previous drink, or like a CHROME
debtor who is always borrowing upon
the future to refund the past. 1t never
seems to catch up with itself, to start
as freshly as 1t would like to. Be-
tause their fathers fought, children are
taught to hate, and when they grow
ND they also fight, leaving to their
children a new heritage Of hate. Be-
cause their fathers gave over cont.
pent to aimless exploitation, the new
generation finds itself entangled in a
network Of law and tradition and
vested rights from which 1t cannot free
itself except by injuring those who
| nave done no wrong.
Because our ancestors lived IN mud
lied cities We go on building upon n2.r
row and to.rtuous streets, sinking oul
capital in mistakes which age makes
it more and more difficult to retrieve
The original cowpaths of Boston have
become picturesque slums which sup
port innocent ladies' and stif1e tn
health and the happiness of othe
peoples children. Attack these slum
and you attack helplessness itself; tr
to widen and ventilate, and you viii
find that you have struck at the secu'
ity of the innocent. This Is the rea
strength of the past and the ove1
whelming grip it has upon our live'
It lives on, not because intelligenc
can defend it, but because 1t has b
come SO intimate a part Of US tha
to cut it out seems q little too cruel
, New Republic.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23
Tribute to Trees.

The trees formed the first temples
of the gods, and even at the present
day the country people, preserving IN
all their simplicity their ancient rites
consecrate the finest OF their trees TO
some divinity Indeed, we feel our
selves inspired to alteration not less
by the sacred groves, and their very
stiffness, than by the statues OF the
gods, Respondent as they are with
gold and ivory. Each kind Of tree re-
mains immutably consecrated to some
divinity; the beech to Jupiter. the
laurel to Apollo, the olive to Minerva.
the riyrtle to Venus and the poplar to
Hercules. In more recent times 1t
was the trees that, by their juices,
more soothing even than corn, first
notified the natural asperity OF man.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23

responsible the design, the better the
negligee seems to fulfill its destiny
which is just to be pretty.
These house gowns are easy 10
make, as may be gathered from the
very good example shown in the pic
ture. A long, plated skirt is set on
to a short baby waist having elbow
sleeves covered with rows Of plating
that are edged with narrow lace. A
wide ribbon girdle, with a rosette DO"
at the front, is tackled over the join
ing of the waist and skirt.
A coatee of shadow lace, with draped
sleeve, adds the final touch OF dainti-
ness and new style feature at the
same time. Light pink crepe and
cream-white lace make as good a
color combination as any, but one
may consider becomingness and en-
vironment and choose whatever is
most pleasing.
The Caldwell watchman. (Columbia, La.) 1885-1946, 1915-07-23
TIE NEW FABLE OF THE DIVINE
SPARK THAT HAD A 9f7on
CIRCUIT.

o,a Epening at a converted Rink
known as the Grand Opera House. d
eock ~ intrepid Amateurs put on a
War Drama.
Lila principal Child Of the Egg and
Poultry King. played Daughter OF
the Southland, and her Hair shaken
out and Lamp Black on her Eye-W INK
ers 50 as to look like Maxine.
All of her Relations and the o'her
Members of the oocahontas bridge
Whist and Pleasure Club were IN
Front and they gave her Hand every
time she stepped cut from, behind a
Tree,
She scored what Is known in the ID
sen Cult as Knockout
At 1P. NJ. she was up on lone
some Eminence, right between sara
Bernhard and Julia MarloWe, waiting
for Telegram from c. F. to come on
and tackle the Role that was zoe
Heavy for Maude Adams.
The proud Parents awoke neS
Morning to discove, that LADY Mac
beth was boarding with them
When she moved from one Eoom II
another the Portieres had to h.esprea'
the entire length of the Pole, 80 as Z
make Room for her Head.
A local Haberdasher, who had beer
plotting to surround her with a new
Bungalow and a lot Of Mission Furnl
ture. went to call as per Usual AM
found her away Up Stage, trying t
look like Margaret Angelin in the Bi
Scene.
She WIS too busy to Hold Hands
for she was mapping out a Caree
which terminated with an Electri
Sign ON broadway and the Stree
damned with uptown Limoustnes.
So the Gents Furnisher move
down the Street to a Brick House, tn
unmarried Inmates of which Woul
begin burning Greek Fire and sent
ing I'D Balloons every time Live On
Slammed the Front Gate.
Lila had the Bacillus Theatricu
gnawing away in every part of he
System.
She could see the magnificent Pla
House crowded from Pit Dome, jul
as the Producing Manager sees
every August when the Pipe Is dra'
ing freely.
She could hear the Leading Man
the Dress Suit say, as he pointed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17

flame. Simmer until the juice flows fir ly. strain off through colander, pre- ing the mushrooms to extract all liquor from them. Return the liquor the Ire. bring 1t to the boil, cook fifte minutes. take it off again. and measure Allow to each quart of the liquid b leaf two blades of mace, a minute pid of garlic. piece of the same size of gre' ginger root. a tablespoon each of whd black peppers and allspice, and h a saltspoon of cayenne. Once more set { liquor over tho fire, this time with q spices and other seasoning, and col slowly down to half the quantity VI put on. When cool 1t is to be strain@ bottled. and sealed. The dwellers in the country often hal quantities of delicious mushrooms their command at tnis season, and if goI judges of the edible varieties may east make sufficient well favored mushrod catsup to serve as a valuable condime| for the rest of the year. Even in Il cities mushrooms can frequently be pq chased for a small sum.
 GRAPE CATsUP. Wash tart grapes and remove them frd the stem Put them in the kettle oI the fire with an inverted plate in the b( tom of the pot and just enough water| save the fruit from scorch. Stir thd often with a wooden spoon and cook slol ly until the grapes are tender and brokd Take from the fire and put through cl ander or a press, small quantity at time. Only the pulp should go throud leaving skins ana seeds behind. Measu this pulp and to three pints of this alld 2 cup of good vinegar, a pound of whI sugar, two full teaspoons each of sal white pepper, ground mace, cinnamd and allspice. and half teaspoon
 ground cloves. Put pulp and other gradients on the stove together and col long and slowly. The quantity shou be reduced about one-half before it skinned, taken from the fire, and D aside to cool. Bottle and seal when col
 cHUTNEY.
 Take the outer leaves from a whi cabbage, chop it fine with eight peel OAlOAS anu RaSh tASoO HI o >AbSkA V@$A 2 ternate layers of salt. Let 1t stand twenty-four hours. Measure pint vinegar and add to it half a pound brown sugar and a heaping teaspoon ea' of celery seed, turmeric, ground chm mon, allspice, mace, mustard, and bla' pepper. Heat to boiling. pour over u salted celery and onions and leave it f another twenty-four hours. Drain off Il liquid, bring it again to the boil, po it back on the pickle, and repeat th process for three days. After the sthi day put the contents of the crock { sether in kettle and boil for five mi utes. Let the chutney become cold b fore packing into. jars and closing thes
 APPLE CHUTNEY. Mix with six large apples. which ha been peeled, cored. and chopped, te spoon of ground ginger, two tablespoon of brown sugar, pinch of cayenne small onion. clove of garlic, grated, al half pint of vinegar. Boil ten minute cool and bottle or put in jars.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17

are cool? My own experience has bee that tops and jars sometimes shrink
 cooling and that the extra turn, so f, from breaking the seal, strengthens Have any oI the constituency had the
 fate of G. M. N. under similar condition, As to the method she gives for cookir meat, it answers well for beef which
 fairly tender. but if tough meat is D, over the fire in hot water it is difficult
 cook 1t to tenderness. When meat is pl on in cold water and simmered 1t shou
 be served as stew, with part of tf stock in which 1t has cooked to give
 back the juices which have been coaxe out of 1t and which make the pot liqus valuable for soup. The seasoning of sue meet and of the stock in which it hs boiled is also most important, and T one can hope for savory meat or brot simply by putting the meat. water. sal and pepper together and cooking for an length of time. I am personally glad 1 get the macaroni recipe. It sounds { though the product should be most app' tixing and other seekers for variety in tt bill of fare will share my gratitude.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17
Dyeiue China Berries.

- A fellow feeling makes us wondrou1 kind also from time to time have bee| afflicted with ants over pantry and kitcl| en. For some time put groceries in ca Il and dusted insect powder around then It worked all right. but looked 90 unclea ' We finally traced the pests to their derj and poured crude carbQlic acid in an| around them. Presto! No more antd We also sprinkled it about the fowl house to keep them hygienic. It is the best thin| I know of for mites-in fact, nothing couI| be much better. Put half or two-third of teacup in a gallon sprinkling pot arl pour boiling water on it. While ho| sprinkle the house. roosts. and nest boxe@ Care should be taken not to get any of on the clothing. as it leaves . bad stain
 almost indelible. have been watchin| the corner for instructions for dyeinl china berries black. but if 1t has beel given I have not seen it. and I woul like it. MRs. H. B. K."I
 Can some one supply the instructions i'd
 dyeing the china berries? We are gla| of this further remedy for the ant pests.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17
Useful Hints in Cooking.


 In your answer to L. L's queries about canning you say to tighten the ia rs when they are perfectly cold. To me that means you are only breaking the seal. H hen I commenced ousekeeping thirty years ago I frightened my jars as much as could and the next morning had my husband give them another turn. The result was the contents all spoiled. It was explained to me that I should a.l my jars to overfowipg with the boiling fruit. tighten the tops and in five minutes. while the fruit is still hot, tighten again. The heat. with the rubber, caused a per- feet seal. l do not mean to contradict you, with your knowledge, but am afra Id the directions would prove disa strous to many young housekee pers If Mrs. E. R. s. will write to me will send her some of my ant exterminator As you gay. the housekeepers must see that there are no crumbs lef- around the food. l have often thought of the young housekeeper who had % much trouble with piece of boiling meat, having . lot of soup and a tasteless piece of meat. like short ribs of beef and I cook them like this: Cover them with boiling water; add salt and pepper; put in more water as 1t boils away. and if soup Is wanted take . cup or so of stock from 1t. leaving the fat with the meat after the beef has cooked slowly for two hours. Let your meat simmer down. brown it if you like, and cook potatoes with it. The two cupa of stock will be plenty of foundation for soup for small family by addins water. few soup vegetables. etc. to be cooked separately from the meat. We like maca- roni or spaghetti cooked in the following way: Boil dnacaroni until lender in salt- ed water with slice or two of onion. In a separate dish cover one pound of ground meat and one minced onion with boiling water. salt. and pepper. In about fifteen minutes. when done, add grated cheeee. two tablespoons of olive oil. and chill powder, and pour over the boiled maca- roni. have maGa1ines oalore l could give away. This is my first letter to the Corner, but I have been an interested reader for years. c. N. N"
 No doubt our readers will ind this iet-' ter as interesting as do, and only wish the writer had signed more than her ini- tials and address to 1t. I am sure there are many who would be glad to have the ma raxines to which she refers. am de- uehted that after her yeare of reading tho Corner she has finally written to us. and hope this may be only the nrst of many letters. What do the other house. keepers think Of her erper1ence q to tishtsufnS the tops of the jars after they
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17

N ERHAPS there was a time when
 man's-and woman's-appetite was
 in its innocency, so to speak, and no relish was needed to give
 savor to food. If ever that state of affairs prevailed it has long passed and now the catsup or chilli sauce or chutney Is an essential article on the well appointed table.
 Of course such articles can be bought Many of them are put up by excellent houses and their purity and merit are guaranteed by the names of the makers. They are not cheap. however. and the cheap varieties do not always carry an assurance of integrity.
 Taking this into account 1t is beyond dispute that the housekeeper who has garden at her command or the oppor- tunity for purchasing the kindly fruits of the earth at reasonable price will do well if she puts up for herself the cat sups for her family. She need not under take all the task at once. but can make batch at time and by degrees accumu- late a supply that will tide her over the winter. Such relishes are valuable not only as providing a zest for meats, hot or cold, but also as adjuncts in the way of seasoning which will help to convert an insipld stew into a savory ragout with no effort beyond the intelligent addition of such quantity of the sauce as the taste demands. The following recipes do not exhaust the entire range of relishes, but serve as representatives of a large and honora ble class. I have no doubt that among my constituency there are many who could add to the list, and I shall be happy to receive their contributions and improve ments and to make place for them in our Corner.
 TOMATO CATSUP.
 Wash and slice a peck of tomatoes without peelng them; peel and slice five white onions and put them with the to- matoes over the fire in preserving kettle. Bring to a boil slowly and simmer until the vegetables are so soft they can be rubbed through colander or put through a vegetable press. When this has been done return the product to the. kettle with the seasoning, This consists of tablespoon each of salt, sugar. ground cloves, mace, black pepper, whole celery seed. the last tied up in bit of gauge
 
 paprika.
 Let the catsup and the seasoning boil together steadily for six hours stirring up frequently from the bottom of the kettle and taking pains that the con tents do not scorch As advised before when directions for preserving and pick ling were given, it Is well to invert a thick china plate in the bottom of the kettle. At the end of the six hours take out the bag of celery seed, turn pint of vinegar into the catsup and bring again 10 a boil. Set aside until cold; put into bottles. close with new. firm corks. and seal.
 TOMATO PASTE.
 Tomato paste is a valuable aid to the housekeeper in preparing tomato sauce during the winter and may be made when tomatoes are plentiful and cheap. The
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17
Little Girl Wants Skates.

Will you please send me the address of AEaisie. who wishes castor oil beans? I have some to give away. The Corner is of 70 much good to me that don't know how could get along without it. Do you think you could ask for pair of ball bear ing roller skates for my little girl? She is 13 years old and. as all the girls around here have such skates, she keeps asking me to get her . pair. something, am cory to say. cannot afford to do
 MRS C. E. D."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17
Calls II a Perfect Salad.

" In the Corner see request for per- feet salad and I send one which have taken from little book and changed and improved for my own use. It is pretty and usually serve it when have lobster or crab in the chafing dish: Soak an en-
 velop of gelatin in half cup of cold water for five minutes: add half a cup of mild vinegar. half teaspoon of pure fruit acid dissolved in two cups of boil ing water. half cup of sugar. one tea spoon of salt and half a saltspoon of red pepper Strain and set it aside until it begins to harden a little. Wet mold in cold water, put in little of the jelly; on this arrange two cups of celery cut
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17

~ sweet letters of cheer and
 made many friends who have
 kept up the sweet white winged messages which have meant so much to my shut-in life of pain. Today the i'm pulse seized me to write again, for my heart is sad and I am the same tortured. suffering girl. It is twenty-one years now since I became an invalid and I am especially depressed at this time because there has been a hope held out to me in an operation, for which l have not the necessary funds. l have already been operated upon three times. and no benefit has been derived. What I come to you today for is letters to cheer my poor aching heart and help me to forget, if possible, my life of pain. My mail is all I have to look forward to with any pleas ure, so hope a good result will crown my efforts today. My hands are shaky and my body racked with pain while try to write this I am lonely, for out of ten children just myself am left alone on the little farm with my aged and feeble parents. am 3S years old and have been an invalid since was 15. am sending this with hope and prayer in my heart that may get beam of sunshine from my friends. A. P"
 do not know my Cornerites if am mistaken in thinking that this letter will call forth a flood of requests for the writ CTS name and address I recall the let ters had from her years ago. When one thinks of the blighted life of a girl who from 15 to 3S is a suffering invalid. with no apparent hope of cure. it seems little enough for those of us who are well and strong to do our part in bringing cheer to the shut-in and crushed life. l hardly dare hope that financial aid which would make possible the operation to which she refers may be procured for her, but do not question that her days will be bright. ened by friendly messages and that there will be a response which will make the mail time-the only thing she has to look forward to-a landmark of hope and pleasure in her lonely life. I shall have great happiness in supplying her address to those who wish to get into communica ton with her for any purpose of help or comfort.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17
Tho Remedies for Ants.

"T To rid the house of ants, strew con] mon salt all around and in day or so th ants will disappear. Also try putting eg shells in the oven to brown, then cruwpl them up and strew them in any place ths the ants frequent. This method is used r farmers to rid their cellars of, ants and effective. SIM. F.~|
 By this time think there is no reaso why an ant should be left alive to plag,I housekeeper, we have had 90 many cure for themi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17

differs in several respects from tomato catsup.
 Peel a dozen large. ripe tomatoes and four good sized white onions. seed two green peppers or one red pepper; chop all the vegetables fine. Put with them ono
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-10-17
TSUPS AND RELIS HE'S.

it cool before putting 1t into bottles; then cork and seal as directed for tomato catsup.
 CHILL SAUCE II. For this two dozen ripe tomatoes, eight onions, and four green peppers are re-