davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-07-28
ANNUAL PICNIC OF LODGE

Members of the Peace and Plenty
Lodge, No. 251, Ladies' Auxiliary to
the B. of r. T. will hold their annual
picnic tomorrow at Paxtang Park.
Cars will leave Market Square at 10:30
O'Clock and a large attendance is
anticipated.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-07-28
MISS woRDEN ENTERTAINs

Miss Esther worden entertained the
members of the II. G. L. Club at her
home, 6S7 Maclay street. Refresh
ments were served to the following
guests: Miss Blanche Mining, Miss
Esther Jones, Miss Esther Worden,
Miss Helen Shuey Miss Ruth Mining,
Miss Marguerite Dobbs, and Miss Mil
dred Dull.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lawrence A Hetrick
and children of Raysorville Heights
are home after an automobile trip to
Atlantic City.
Miss Suzanne Westbrook and Miss
Helen Cherrick Westbrook are visiting
their sister, Mrs. Heber Thompson, at
Tamaqua.
Miss Addie Darlington and Miss
Mary Adams, of New Bloomfield,
are guests of DR.. and Mrs. E. L.
Darlington, 2025 North Sixth street
Mr.. and Mrs. H. F. Beaner of 1924
Susquehanna street, are home after a
ten days trip to Massilon, Ohio. Mrs
Beaner is much improved in health by
the outing.
Miss Virginia largest King is visit
ing at Winchester, Va.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-07-28
WORKS IN HARVEST FIELD

H. F. Beaner of Susquehanna street,
while visiting in Massilon, Ohio, last
week, had the unique experience for
him, of helping his uncle in the har-
vest field. The uncle is 50 years old,
but can teach the city residents many
things they don't know. even now.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
Let Us Talk It
Over

Well dear sinner friends. this 10
Che Fool Killer.
How does it set on your stomach!
If you like it, you can get more at
headquarters.
The Fool-Killer is not even forty
Teyenth cousin to any other paper On
earth.
It stands in class by itself, and
Itz field is az broad as the Engnsn
language.
This paper wears no bell, muzzle,
collar nor halter.
You can put that down to start with.
am the fellow who works at thu
pump-handle on this pungent period
icaI of thrilling thought. I print only
what I write; I write only what I
think: and I think what | doggon
please.
I own this entire establishment,
and Rockefeller isn't rich enough to
buy one share Of 1t.
Does that sound strange?
Well, bless your soul, I am great
deal richer than old John.
i UGY@r LEaVS1Cu oily W @pOc1h 0As
aut have read g. great deal, and have
skunk some.
I have also writ few books which
know are great, because they don'r
sell worth a cent.
Great books never do.
And then I started The Fool-Killer,
eust to quiet my nerves and keep tho
cid press from getting rusty.
From the seclusion of these wooded
hills there will go forth each month
Q bundle of literary dynamite that
will shake the rotten foundations OF
society and cause the Church Of Nam
mon to at least turn over ia its sleep.
The Fool-Killer In a monthly mus
sard-plaster for the blood-boils OF
Society, Church and State.
II is ealted with wit, peppered with
Aumor and seasoned with sarcasm
Every line cuts like a whip, and
avery word raises blister.
If you are a fool you had better not
subscribe for The Fool-Killer. II
V0u are wise you will. And 90 thai
settles 1t.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
March, 1915.

esy from you, and failure to comply
will be taken as proof positive that
our correspondent purposely tried to
put one across us. =
'Tried," indeed! No, tried
is not the word, my dear
Bruffey. It looks to me a plum
sight like he succeeded. If he on
~ "tried to put one across you,
it would be worth weeks wages
to see somebody do the job just
right.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
STATEMENT

of the ownership, management, cir
culation, etc., required by the act of
August "a, 1912, of The Fool-Killer
published monthly at Moravian Falls,
". O., for Oct, 1914.
Editor, j. L. Pearson Moravian Falls, n. G,
Man. Ed, J. L. Pearson, Moravian Falls, n. C,
Bus Man, G. Fitzpatrick, Moravian Falls, n. c.
Publisher, IL. Pearson, Moravian Falls, N. C
owner, J. l.. Pearson, Moravian Falls, N. c.
j. L, Pearson, Ed. Pub. and Owner
Sworn to and Subscribed before me this 2Otn
DAY Of Mar, 1915. w II. HUBBARD, N. P.
Ny commission expires 30 Jan. 1916.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

The Secretary of Agriculture
is said to be putting in his spare
time developing a new breed of
milk COWS. Pretty soon he aims to
send to every farmer by Parcel
Post a pair Of calves Of the new
stock. These improved COWS are
to be so near all milk that the on
ly thing required at milking time
will be to run them through the
clothes wringer and throw the
hide and bones back in the pas
ture.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
TALKIN' TO YE.

Howdy, Comrades! Mighty
glad to meet you again. Just
can't let the paper go to press
without my little personal chat''
with you-alt.
Well, boys, I am glad to tell
you that the paper is still on a
boom. The past two months have
been the best in the history Of
the paper, and the prospects are
good for the boom to continue
There is just one thing wrong,
and am trying my best to rem
edy that. AS you all know, the pa
per has been about a month late
for several months. This has
been due to sickness in my fam
lily, and other circumstances en-
tirely beyond my control. My
wife is almost an invalid, and
her suffering is terrible, especial
ly at night. We never get half E.
nough sleep, and right now as |
write these lines, I am so sleepy
| can hardly hold my eyes open.
Most of the "hot stuff" that I
have written for this issue has
been produced under just these
conditions. AS I have said often
before it seems almostIlike trying
to be funny at a funeral.
But it does no good to sit down
and grunt and complain about
the hard conditions. I guess most
of you have troubles of your own,
and we all have to get along the
best way we can under this ''psy-
Geological prosperity"
Butso many people have kick
ed about the paper being late that
| just wanted to.tell you WHY.
The office force has been increas-
ed, and We are making a little
headway toward catching up with
Father Time.
So you fellows all just stick to
me like a COB of tar to a pair Of
summer breeches, and we'll all
live as long as we can get a breath,
anyhow. And while we live we
just as well enjoy ourselves. Tell
everybody you see and send word
to the rest that we want 'em tn
come along and jine our crowd.
If The Fool Killer continues to
be a little bit late for a few months
yet, we will at least do our dog
gondest to make it worth waitino
for.
Yours from the ground up,
J. L. PEARSON.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

Why don't Woodrow rush into
print with a statement showing
that the war is only a ''psycolo-
gical condition?' Maybe that
would stop it.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

The newspaper directories put
the letters ''jkl'' after the names
Of all papers having a very small
circulation. It means, ''just kan
live"
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

Somebody asked little girl if
they raised any poultry at her
house last year. She replied: 1--WE
planted some, but the chickens
scratched it all up"
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

Rev. Yung Hen is the name of
a new Chinese preacher. The name
indicates that the preacher is fe-
male, and that her proper place
is among the lay members.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

It generally takes two assistant
secretaries, one detective and ff-
teen nigger boys to find Billyum
Chaw-talk-away Bryan when he
is needed at his office in Washing
ton.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

The masters have begun to
hold inquiries about the con-
dition of the unemployed. Hang
take their "inquiries.' [ could
''inquire'' about the tempature of
hell, but that wouldn't cool it
any.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

in at one ear and out at the
other" is an old saying, but in
the case of the neighborhood Cos
sip and tattler it should be, In
at both ears and out at the mouth" !"
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
IT TICKLES ME.

A double-geared jimdandy of a
Democratic Solomon is H. H.
Brufey, the alleged editor of
The Webster Echo,'' local
Democratic sheet published at
Webster Springs, w. Va. Editor
Bruffey is SO green that I want to
solemnly warn him to keep away
from the barn-lot, for the COWS
might eat him. He has such be-
fuddled idea of what he thinks he
believes thatit's wonder he don t
imagine himself dead and write
his own obituary some day. You
could slice up an OLD rubber boot
and fry it in gravy and he would
eat it for cabbage and swear it
was good.
The above is the prelude. Here
is the music:
Some time last fall [ wrote a
poem called The Psychological
Panic" " and it was published in
The Fool-Killer. The poem was a
shaft of ridicule aimed at Wood
row Wilson's now famous remark
about hard times being only ''psy-
cological. - The poem made quite
a hit among the readers of The
F'ool-Klller, and was also widely
copied in other papers. Nun bers
of people made special mention
OF 1t as being one of the hardest
hits against Democracy that they
ever saw in print.
Well, it seems that one of my
subscribers at Palmer, w. Va,
evidently knowing the mental cal
ibre Of Editor Bruffey, thought
he would have some fun. So be
copied my poem and sent it tc
Editor Brudey, accompanied by
a cunningly-worded note designed
to hit Brutfey On the blind side.
And it did. The poor ignorant
editor bit like a hungry trout
He set my poem in double column
space with a border around it
headed il in big type, ''SENSF
IN THIS,'' and played it up OF
the front page of his paper, an6
even added a foot-note commend
ing it to his readers as good Dem
ocratic doctrine. That was in biz
issue dated for Jan. 20, 1915. A
soon as that issue got circulated
among it's Democratic reader
who were not quite so green a.
their local editor, there went vi
a howl that could have been hearc
om'Wheeling to Bluefeld. They
began to guy the poor fellow fol
his ignorance, and made it so ho
for him that be came out in hi
next issue with the following Re
quest. -
"Will the gentleman from Paine
who sent us that little poem las
week please favor us with his ful
name, since only his initials appeare
at the end Of the composition. w
, make this request because some O
our readers are taking it as a cleve
piece Of irony aud meant to, be rea
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

Guess I won't go to the San
Francisco fair. Ny shoes are a.
bout worn out, and it's most to
far to walk, anyway.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
EDITORIALS.

I'll bet jitney you don't know
what a jitney is.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

It seems that the Germans have
captured Przasnysz, but | bet a
nickel they can't pronounce it.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

Peace will come in June, - says
an exchange. But it failed to say
what year.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

The sinking Of the Frye is a
bout to make things boil.
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

One year to your heart, 70 Cents.
In clubs Of Five or More, 15 Gents.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
FATE OF TWO FROGS

Two gay frogs from inland boys,
Had spent the night in drinking,
AS morning broke and they awoke,
While yet their eyes were blinking,
A farmers pail came to the swale,
And caught them quick as winking.
Ere they could gather scattered
senses,
Or breathe prayer for past offenses
The granger grave that guileless
Had dumped them In the milkman's
can.
The can filed up, the cover down,
They soon are started off to town.
The luckless frogs begin to quake
And sober up on cold milkshake.
They quickly find their breath will
stop,
Unles they swim upon the top.
They swim for life, and kick and
swim,
Until their weary eyes grow dim,
Their muscles ache, their breath
grows short.
And gasping, speaks one weary
sport:
Say, dear old sport, it's pretty
tough
To die so young, but I've enough,
OF kicks for life. no more III try 1t;
| was not raised upon milk diet"
tut Tut, my lad" the other cries,
"A frogs not dead until he dies,
Let's keep on kicking, that's my plan
We may yet see the outside Of this
can"
mo use, no use, faint heart replied,
Turned up his toes and gently died :.
The drawer frog, undaunted still,
Kept kicking with a right good will
Until with Joy too great to utter,
He found he'd churned a lump OF
butter.
And, climbing on this chunk OF
grease.
He foated round with greatest ease
| Moral:
When times are hard, no trade In
town,
Don't get discouraged and go down
But struggle still, no murmur utter.
A few more kicks may bring the
butter.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
How Nature Fought Engineers In
Their Struggle To Cut Canal Across
Panama And Unite The Oceans

brought in by the slides, SO that at
least forty.four weeks are chargeable
against the slides. The more than
six weeks remaining until the open
ing Of the canal on August Is were
taken up with the removal Of slide
debris, more than two years and
three months In all.
"One of the wonderful things about
the building of the canal was how
Colonel Goethals and Colonel Gall
lard were able to drive down unit
cost as the mercury in the difficulty
thermometer sped upward. In 1908
it was estimated that the cost Of
removing yard of soil would be
around SO cents for the whole cut.
In 1909 this was hammered down to
rs 2-3 cents. With the slides more
troublesome than ever In 1912, they
forced the unit cost down to 81 3-S
cents. Than this there Is no proud
er showing in the history of business
economy or of engineering"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11

"The only reason ships were not
using the Panama Canal ten months
ago when the docks were first ready
is that nature was battling to the
last ditsch in her efforts to thwart
the purpose of man to put shipway
through the vitals of proud old Gu
Zebra Mountain writes William }
Showalter, magazine writer, who Wis
tied the Canal Zone many times dur
ing the progress of the work there
in a communication to the National
Geographic Society at Washington,
ID. C.
"Over $50 acres of ground lying
outside Of the intended banks Of
the canal and containing over 100000
600 cubic yards of material, we're
swept by Nature with silent, but ter
rife force down into the canal" he
writes. Now this onslaught demon
allied an entire railroad system;
now 1t has put the compressed air
and water system out of commission;
now 1t bottled up one end Of Culebra
Cut with an avalanche of debris; now
it imprisoned dirt trains and wreck
ed steam shovels. Consider what
the removal of 3O,OO0,0O0 cubic yards
of material means. 1t Is enough to
build sort Of Chinese wall seven
feet thick and seven feet high reach
ing from New York to San Francis
CO. It is more than could be drawn
by all the horses and mules in the
United States. 1t would fill a mil
lion and half big Lidgerwood cars,
enough to make string 10000 miles
lonE
When you reflect that each yard
OF this sliding material rendered
doubly difficult the getting out OF
three yards Of other material, the
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
NOTICE

United States Land Office,
Salt Lake City, Utah,
January 20, 1915.
To Whom It May Concern:
Notice is hereby given that the
State Of Utah has filed in this office
lists of lands, selected by the said
state, under section OF the Act OF
Congress, approved July 16, 1894,
as Indemnity School lands, viz: Seri-
al 0l37S6, SWh, Sec. II, T. 8 ~, r.
E., s. l.. Meridian. Copies of said
lists, so far as they relate to said
tracts by descriptive subdivisions,
have been conspicuously posted in
this office for inspection any per-
son interested and by the public gen.
orally. During the period Of publ
cation of this notice, or any time
thereafter, and before final approval
and certification, under department.
al regulations OF April 25, 1907, pro-
tests or contests against the claim
of the State to any of the tracts or
subdivisions hereinbefore, described
on the ground that the same Is more
valuable for mineral than for agri-
cultural purposes, will be received
and noted for report to the General
Land Office at Washington, d. c.
Failure so to protest or contest, with
in the time specified will be consid-
cred sufficient evidence Of the non
mineral character Of the tracts and
the selections thereof, being other
wise free from objection, will be APP
proved to the State.
e. d. r. THOMPSON,
Register.
ADV. mo
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11

true meaning Of the sides begins to
appear. There have been 10 trains
going out of the cut one day at the
south end, only to be stopped entire.
ly the next day by a slide. Again,
half a dozen tracks would suddenly
be put out of commission. 1t is the
greatest engineering wonder Of the
age that In spite of these difficulties
1O6,000,00O cubic yards of material
we're removed from the cut In less
time than was estimated 53,000,000
cubic yards could be removed. And
this wonder grows when I look at
the cost sheets and see that a cub
ic yard was removed for an average
of 90 odd cents, when 1t was estimat-
ed that, unhindered by slides, the
cost of removing a cubic yard would
be 9s cents.
Prior to 1910 the slides presented
no serious obstacles. Up to that
year the excavations on account Of
slides were only 7.S7 per cent of the
total excavations. During 1910 sew
en- weeks were required to take care
of the 14.S3 per cent of al excava-
tons which represented the slide
debris taken out. In 1911 1t reqir-
ed thirteen weeks to take out mater
ial the slides brought into the cut,
this material. amounting to 26.3
per cent of the total excavations for
the year. During the fiscal year Of
1912, 34.5 per cent of the excavations
were of slide material whose remov-
al required eighteen weeks.
Forty six per cent of the total
excavations in 1913 were from slides
which accounts for twenty-four weeks
work. Last year beginning July l.,
1913, saw only two months required
for the final bottom to be reached in
the cut, outside Of the material
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
HuMORS OF LAW

We laugh at old Wouter Van Twlller
Whose mode of deciding a case
Was to go by the looks and weight
OF the books
Which the lawyers brought into his
place.
We jest at his manner of Judging
Because 1t Is queer in our eyes,
And the erudite way of our jurists
today
Shows up as decidedly wise.
For now they determine on justice
Ivy means that are noble to see
By comma misplaced in a proof
readers haste,
Or the failure of crossing a a."
And having thus climbed to perfec-
ton.
To justice sans error of flaw.
Our laughter rings shriller at Wouter
Van Twiller,
And his way Of deciding the law.
The Docket.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11

You are hereby summoned 10 appear
within twenty days after the ser.
vice of this summons upon you, II
served within the county in which
this action is brought, otherwise With
in thirty days after service, aud de.
fend the above entitled action; and
in case of your failure so to 10, judg-
ment will be rendered against you
according to the demand OF the
complaint, which has been filed with
the clerk of said court. This action
is brought to dissolve the bonds Of
existing between plointiff
and defendant.
Utah, =. o. Box 29S.
NEBEKER, THATCHER &
BOWEN,
Attorneys for Plaintiff.
Postofilce address, Logan City,
ADV. me
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
HOW TO PREPARE A HoT6ED
BY o. M. Morris, Horticulturist

Collect unheated manure from the
horse barns and mix with the pure
manure an equal amount Of straw
that has been used for bedding. Fork
this over we'll and pile In a heap
and let stand for about two days. II
II does not start to heat In this time
moisten the entire pie with warm
water.
Prepare a pit for the manure bed.
This should be located on the south
side of buildings with a good expos
ure to the sun. The pit should be
about two feet deep, not over six
feet wide and as long as desired. 1t
is preferable to have the long meas
ure east and west. AS soon as the
manure has started to heat well, 1t
should be placed In the pit careful
ly tramped. This Is the best meth
cd of packing in the manure evenly
in all parts of the bed. II 1t seems
dry add enough water to dampen,
but do not apply enough to saturate
the bed. Let the bed stand until
it is heating well throughout, then
cover with five or six inches of good
garden loan. Let this stand for
three or four days and then work
down the surface with rake and
the bed is ready for seeding.
A broad frame ten or twelve inch
es high on the south and double that
on the north, should be placed about
the bed when the pit is prepared.
The glass sash or cloth covering used
should be placed on as soon as the
manure Is packed in.
A bed prepared in this way will
furnish heat about six weeks. The
temperature will run high at the
start and gradually go down. AT the
end of six weeks the hot bed be
comes a cold frame and will protect
p ants from frosts but not hard
freezes. Utah Farmer.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
It's Surprising
That So Many Logan People Fail to
Recognize Kidney
Weakness

Are you a bad back victim?
Suffer twinges; headaches, dizzy
spells?
Go to bed tired-get up tired?
It's surprising how few suspect the
kidneys.
It's surprising how few know what
to do.
Kidney trouble needs kidney treat.
ment.
Doan's Kidney Pills are for the
kidneys only.
Have convinced Logan people Of
their merit.
Here's a Logan case; Logan testi-
mony.
Kidney sufferers hereabouts should
read 1t:
Carl A. Torp. expressman, 1853
North Third West street, Logan,
says Heavy lifting and exposure
brought on my kidney trouble. My
back got So lame that could hardly
lift a pound. Mornings I was lame
and sore and 1t was all could do to
straighten. / used two boxes OF
Doan's Kidney Pills and they
strengthened my back and helped
me in every way. cannot say too
much in praise Of this remedy"
Price soc, at all dealers. Don't
simply ask for kidney remedy
get Doan's Kidney Pills-the same
that Mr.. Torp had. Foster, Mil
burn Co., Props, Buffalo, N. y
Adv.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

Estate of Emma Williams, deceas-
ed. Creditors will present claims
with vouchers to the undersigned at
his residence at Logan City. Utah,
on or before the 22nd day OF May. A.
D., 1915.
Date of first publication January
q. A. D., 1915.
VIM. W. WILLIAMS,
Administrator.
WALTERS & HARRIS,
Attorneys.
ADV. req
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
NOTICE TO CREDITORS

Estate of Elizabeth White Cranney,
deceased. Creditors will present
claims with vouchers to the under
signed at the residence OF William
Kingston, 2lO East Second South
street, Logan City, Utah, on or be
fore the 18th day OF May, A. D., 1915.
Date OF first publication January 0,
A. D., 1915.
Willard ID. Cranney, executor OF
the last will and testament Of Eliza
beth White Cranney, deceased.
J. z. STEWART, JR.,
Attorney.
ADV, fl3
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11

A heavy cold In the lungs that was
expected to cure itself has been the
starting point in many cases OF dis
ease that ended fatally. The sensi-
BILE course is to take frequent doses
OF BILLIARDS HoREHoUND sly.
RUP. 1t checks the progress of the
disorder and assist nature TO restore
normal conditions. Price Csc, SOC
and 81 90 per bottle. Sold by Ritter
Bros. Drug Co.-Adv.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11
AFTER MANY YEARS

j, l.. Southers, Eau Claire, Wis.
writes: Years ago ] wrote you in
regard to great results | obtained
from Foley Kidney Pills. After all
these years | have never had re.
turn of those terrible backaches or
sleepless nights; am permanently
cured" Men and women, young and
old, find this reliable remedy relieves
rheumatism, backache, stiff joints
and ills caused by weak or diseased
kidneys or bladder. Cache Valley
Drug Co. ADV.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1915-02-11

II your child is pale and sickly,
picks the nose, starts In the sleep.
grinds the teeth while sleeping, It is
sure sign OF worms. A remedy for
these parasites will be found in
WHITES CREAM vERMIFUGE. 1t
not only clears out the worms, but
II restores health and cheerfulness.
Price 25c per bottue. Sold by Ritter
Bros. Drug Co.-Adv,