davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
Tricky Type

Over in Arkansas a few days ago a well known secret order had an in- stallation of a new chief by the name of Watkins, who succeeded to the of flee by reason of the sudden death of his predecessor, whereupon the edi- tor of lccal paper wrote headline; "Watkins Takes Obligation" The erudite printer set this headline so that when it appeared in the paper it read: Watkins Tends Alligators.'
 It so happened that MT. Watkins did not have any aligators to tend and judging by the editorial apology which that Arkansas editor made in his next issue. MT. Watkins was not especially pleased with the manner in which the paper handled the report of his install lation.
 All of which brings to mind the fact that type in the hands of the printer who works mechanically without hav- ing his mind on the copy before him, is likely to bring most ludicrous results.
 For instance, few years ago an Omaha society editor in describing a function given in one of the ex- elusive homes of that city, wrote: "The participants were then regaled with dainty ices, etc." The compositor, however, caused her to say: The party's pants were repainted with dirty ink"
 When the editor of the automobile section in an Amarillo, Tex, news paper few days ago wrote a head line: Carload of Bucks Coming the typo set it to read: Carload of Bricks Coming"
 The late Edward Rosewater, editor
 of the Omaha Bee, was exceptionally critical, it is related, as to the nature of every utterance entering into the editorial page. MT. Rosewater ire quently wrote his own editorial lead CTS, despite the fact that it was his practice to employ two or more high salaried editorial writers.
 MT. Rosewater was detained from the office (which was most usual. by the office (which was most unusual, by writers gave exceptionally vigorous treatment to a local topic, and pending
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
Found Detective. Eycrxwh.r.

oharies G. Davis. who returned from a trip east few days ago, tells of many pleasant experiences and some that were more novel than agreeable Said he.
 T was accompanied on this outing by my two daughters and my first desire was to give them pleasure I took them to see as many of the places of interest In New York as time would permit. We called on a relative who is a member of the stock exchange and asked him to give us card to the gallery-a request that is readily granted in ordinary times. Knew my girls would be interested in looking on during the rush hours but the relative said that since the attack on MT. Morgans life. only members were allowed to enter the exchange. He said that de- tectlVes were as thick as hops and that every approach to the exchange was guarded. As l could not obtain a ticket l said to my daughters, Come on and seq If we cannot persuade the detectives to let us pass. We went to the stock ex- change, but our efforts to gain admission were unavailing. Detectives were every where and they were vigilant to the last
 
 doorkeepers to call out member who was partner in my relatives firm. He was mighty polite. but said the rule against admitting visitors was so strict as to make exceptions impossible.
 From the stock exchange we went to one of the other exchanges, but there we found squad of detectives and the same rules obtaining
 Detectives are doing double duty in the hotels, in the theatres and on the streets of New York. We went over to Wilmington, Del. I wanted to see some thing of the Dupont works, but it was next to impossible to get into the office buid- ing let alone the operating plants The visitors are stopped by detectives.
 "One may read the New York papers. but he can form no idea of the army of detectives on duty until he goes east and tries to do some innocent sightseeing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

the arrival of MT. Rosewater. the fore man of the composing room demanded editorial copy and got it. The writer by way of preeaution, penciled across the top corner of the copy, just above the caption: Do not run this until the old man reads it."
 By some mysterious chance the old mans" usually accurate eye failed to catch the guide line instruction and the man who made up the forms also overlooked it Consequently, the warn Ing, proper enough in the beginning. but extremely Imaginable at the finish. appeared as part of the editorial
 At another time, when there was keen rivalry between Omaha and Lin coin, the main competition being be- tween the wholesale interests of the respective cities, MT. Rosewater ptHHSu dH eullOTldl eDIlllcl, '16OSe Lincoln Jobbers." He was given to vigorous language at all times and on this occasion he almost exceeded his own speed limit Therefore, he roast ed the Lincoln jobbers to terra cotta tint and the compositor added em- phasis by transforming the headline, Those Lincoln Jobbers,' into Those Lincoln Robbers"
 Verify, the ways of the printer man are often past understanding, and the path of the editorial man is frequent ly strewn with brickbats instead of roses with cum laude" inscription blown into the petals. But come to think of it, the compositor really makes surprisingly few mistakes, con the poor copy that often reaches him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
 The old-fashioned dude who used to soap his bangs so they would lie flat down on his forehead now has a son who combs his hair so he will look like a sea lion.
 A woman gets so little pleasure that if she didn't get to talk about what she is going to do she wouldn't have any fun at all
 After looking over some of the fool laws made by the state legislature a man finds 1t an easy matter to keep the ten commandments.
 Before he gets her he would kiss the ground she walks on After he gets her he gets mad if he has to wipe his face on the same towel she dried her face on.
 A woman with face like a dried her ring gets as much pleasure out of ad- hiring the hats in the window of mill linery store as pretty girl does.
 It takes more than the knowledge that she is a grandma to make woman quit feeling giddy these days. L. It is all right for a girl to throw her hips out of joint and then throw them back again when she is dancing the maxixe or a new-fangled tango But there was time when we used to think it real devilish to pay a dime and goain and watch hootchie dancer. A man IS almost as inconsistent as a woman. If she wants nice clothes he kicks, and if she looks shabby when she goes out he kicks.
 Just because a woman happens to be married to man Is no reason why she should insist on dressing up like a circus horse and embarrassing poor hubby by making him parade the street with her. It Is funny that the men who do not be- lieve in fairies spend lot of time in chasing them.
 | Every neighborhood has a nosey man or woman who is trying to do-the worry | ing for the rest of the neighborhood.
 Why is 1t that the less woman eats the latter she gets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
State Fair and Live Stock

The Birmingham state fair has be- come a great educational institution and this years exhibition will not only be up to the usual high standard Of ex- ceilence but in its agricultural display there will be greater variety than ever.
 The success of the crop diversifica- ton movement in Alabama will have practical demonstration at the fair. and in live stock exhibits alone a re- markable advance will be in evidence. Ten years ago the cattle breeding in- dustry in this part of the south was almost a negligible quantity; but two years ago it had assumed much import ance, and since tick eradication, under the direction of government experts, has proved highly successful, Alabama beef has become an important com mercial asset.
 In some counties cattle will exceed in money value this year the total value of all the other crops. In Dallas there are now about 60,000 head, in cluding calves. In several other counties the dipping" reports make a large showing quite as large as that of Dallas, but from 50 to 75 per cent greater than three years ago It
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
HOTEL LOBBIES
The Wave of Prosperity

mere is great prosperity in the indus 'flal centers and also great prosperity out west, said ]. NJ. Seares of Chi cago
 was in Pittsburg a week ago. and never have I seen that city looking more prosperous than at the present liine. Four weeks ago l was on the Facific coast. and made two or three stops between San Francisco and Chi caso' Everywhere business seemed to be booming.
 on my way south I came by the way or St Louis. Early in the spring the ousiness men of that city talked blue, put l find them exceedingly buoyant now. St. Louis is enjoying a great deal or solid prosperity, and as far as I can learn the south, as whole, is full of optimism"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
The Wise Mr, Wise

I have just returned from Cleve- land and while there I saw one of the most amusing incidents in which a vil- lain was foiled that I can recall" said Edgar Sanderson Tt seems that one William Wise. 77 years old, living In the country near Cleveland, had gone to the Ohio city last year to witness the street fair. During his perambu- lations about Cleveland clever fin sered pickpocket got to him and touched him for his roll
 This year he was particularly anx- ious to see the fair in Cleveland but wanted to do so safely. Then an idea struck him. He took an old pocket book, stuffed 1t full of paper and tied twine securely to his suspender button and affixed the other end to the pocketbook. Then with the wallet peeping from his pocket he strolled contentedly about the city taking in the sights.
 Tor four days nothing happened and MT. Wise became somewhat mourn ful on account of the needlessness of his strategy. But fortune was with him and on the fifth day while he was watching the ponies do five furlongs a light fingered gentleman. from Louisville spied the wallet and laid covetous hands upon it.
 Feeling the tug on his trousers Mir. Wise turned with yell and caught the frisker with the goods. He clasped him in grip of iron. yelling lustil, the while. and in a second. for police men in Cleveland are slightly more numerous than in Birmingham. an of. ficer was on the scene and the exper, was taken into custody, where it Wal discovered he was an old offender
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
STILL SORE.

If yu are kind to people they will be kind to you"
 No doubt that is true in the main, but there are exceptions and hope you won t dwell on the subject this morning
 "Why, what's the matter?"
 I've just been victimized by a fake promoter, and I was as kind to him as I could be-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
THE HEAVENLY ROAD

By Edward Wilbur Mason. There was no milky way of stars But just field of green With daisies by the pasture bars All radiant and serene! There were no angels in the air, Nor raptured seraphs wise. But up the noontide's sunlit stas.. Trooped gorgeous butterflies! There was no river of pure gold,
 But dancing in the breeze A laughing brook forever rolled Beneath the archtng trees! There were no shining jasper walls, Nor azure baldrickcd dome, But just a house with friendly halls,
 And quiet peace of homsl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
BEGINNING THE

BEGINNING THE DAY-Last night I followed a mountain trail. It was dark, and I could not see my way. I scanned the ground to keep the path and even felt with my hands for It's smoothBess. Then I cast my eyes up. The opening in the bushes and trees above the trail was fairly visible, md thereby followed my path with ease and con fidence. If you are troubled about your way today. look up.-H. Nj. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
AGREED.

Don't you think Mrs. Gadders charm ing woman?'
 Indeed, I do.'' She has great deal of tact
 Undoubtedly. What did she compli. ment you for?"
 My wit. And your"
 For the same thing
 Shake. She fattered us both.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
Republican Progressive

''The regular organization republica ms would naturally like to get Colonel Roosevelt and his great progressive fol- lowing back into the old party, but it will not be that way said Charles H. Scott, at one time prominent in Ala bama republican politics
 "Colonel Roosevelt in his brief state ment this week makes 1t plain that he will remain in the progressive party And I think it safe bet that the grea majority of those who voted for Roose- vet in 1912 will keep out of the repub- lcan party in 1916. no matter who is nominated.
 T keep in close touch with the west. The democratic party is very weak out there, while republican progressives are strong.
 Tt is too early to begin predictions for 1916 further than that President Will son will be renominated by the demo- crats.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
COTTON NOW SECOND


 From the Providence Journal.
 Hereafter the south will figure large1 ly as a producer of the food supplis1 of the country. The report on the cropA just issued shows that the grain cron of 1915 exceeds in value by several hundred million dollars the most valrI able cotton crop ever marketed. Thd estimate of wheat corn and oats ii 1.540, 000,0 900 bushels-a gain of 266, 900, 900 bushels over last years yieid-an@ in addition there is rice crop of Sv, \ 1000 bushels. The statement that o1 the gain of the entire country nearly 64 per cent is in the south, gives an ided Of tho activities of the owners of agriI cultural lands below the Mason and Dixon line.
 Cotton of course is the great stapl( of the south, and it is not likely to Id neglected. But the cotton states ard learning the value of diversity in prodI ucts and their prosperity is bound W
 be increased by the departure from th( accepted notion that the south ia nee essarily dependent upon single crop| The entire country also is benefited bJ the breaking away of the southern DC Z, pie from the old tradition that for thehI cotton is king" The question of food supply now is not secondary to that oil textile products.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
THE PROBLEM OF BEING A MOTHER

From the Philadelphia Ledger.
 l Do you advocate raising children for county charges, the poorhouse, what? I am a mother of seven children and feel
 thar I have my right to ask Perhaps you
 have never had the experience of raising
 seven children on $so month and then
 suddenly losing the position and have your
 house threatened with foreclosure Mrs. McHcnney to Theodore Roosevelt
 MT. Roosevelt has yet to meet Mrs. 1 McHonney face to face; and he has yet to meet her argument in any fashion whatsoever He tells her to keep right on being a mother, the best, highest, most worthwhile job on earth, no matter what the temporary conditions that surround it may be- But he fails to wonder whether such conditions are really temporary for
 most mothers of the poor, whether the job of being mother Is more worth while on
 a basis of quantity or quality, and whether 1t can be better improved by individual in- itiative or by social forces. Perhaps the
 European war may give a little light. Germany and France supply two glaf- ingly contrasted methods of dealing suc- cessfully with the mother problem. Ger
 many stood for a high birth rate, for more minds and more workers; but she also
 stood for the essential concomitant of pro-
 tectins that increase of minds and work CTS from the poverty and destruction that their very numbers would otherwise bring
 France took the opposite view. She cut down the birth rate, and the chances of
 poverty took care of themselves Ger many's policy undoubtedly was suited to a nation in a period of renaissance
 Frances was the product and the fit ac- compartment of more stable conditions
 Both achieved a more or less prosperous and happy people.
 But what about England? England has practiced both racial profiigacy and social profiigacy. Do we want to follow her?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
A RECIPE.

'Tls possible in any cline,
 To make jest of Father Time. A smile, if practiced every day. Will keep his tell-tale marks away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

snake over two feet in length" The fsher1 reptile and recovered the spectacles. Hd declares they "are the best glasses hd ever owned" And here is a real sunni mer story from Maryland: "A setting hen on the farm of George Johnson abandoned her nest in the sun a week ago and sought the shade. John1 son paid no attention to the 15 eggs, whicH he thought of no value Much to his sur1 prise yesterday he found Il chicks matched out by the sum-
 People. according to present day narra1 tors. go in much this summer for an easy, conscience and health. Escaped convict1 seem falling over one another to givd themselves up to the authorities. Thd luxures of the modern jais may have td do with this All conscience funds groa1
 in warm weather. A Washington womar1 who had filched four prunes from a grocel r years ago sent 10 cents in stamps t4 pay for this indiscretion. She placed the responsibility for her reformation upor| the reading of one of Billy Sundays ser1 mons. collector for a California pape1 was stopped III tne NeNdua 1nOuHtdlfs uJ
 a man who paid up three-years sub1 scription he had owed IT years. The col lector tainted" This detail is merely t4 add verisimilitude to the story. No coll lector faints after he gets the money.
 A kansan says that the reason of hi4 longevity is that he goes barefooted si1
 months of the year; and he advises every{ body to do the same An Oklahoman, DI Devine, ridicues this foolish idea Th( thing to do. he says, is to eat sand, Al1 same quality used on the engines, which is fine as salt and has been heated and
 sifted. Tt should be boiled before beinz
 eaten" he says. Those persons who profess to scorn stim{
 mer stories because they are ali alikeI are missing something.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
THE ONLY WAY.

THE NHNi1I WAT An expert in affairs of the heart says that If a young couple don't quarrel at breakfast. they'll probably get through the day without a fuss" That sounds reasonable, but I'd hate to miss my breakfast
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

The University of Pennsylvania museum announces the discovery of great temple at Memphis. Egypt, belonging approxi- matey to the period of Rameses IT. The and summer explorations of the Eckley B. Coxe, Jr., Egyptian expedition, led by Dr. Fisher of the university museum The report of Dr. Fisher has created much in- terest in scientific circles, as it is be- leved to herald further exploration on the site of Memphis, at one time possibly the greatest city in the world. It is known to have been of great importance more than 5000 years ago. One hundred expert dggers spent three months in the work, and they unearthed a great hall of col umns belonging to the temple. The ex- cavation, which began with the capitals of two columns at first discovered, were carried down to the original soil. Despite structive forces, enough has been found to show that the temple was a magnificent structure. An inscription indicates that it may have been erected by Seti I, although at first supposed to have been the work Of Menephtah, son of Rameses IT. About 1000 specimens of archaeological value were found. including scarabs amulets, gold and silver rings and other objects
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

The French are not doing much talking these days. The natural inference is that they are too busy to talk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
SOMEWHAT PUNGENT

From the Knckerbocker Press.
 Georgia negro is PA years old. How did he ever escape the Georgia lynchers for that long?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
vAGARIEs OF PATRIOTISM

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
 Patriotism is surprising thing, some- times. Take the case of the New Jersey Italian who sold his housekeeper and her child for $20 and went to war
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

sends additional thousands scurrying to Atlantic City.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
TOO EMOTIONAL

TOO EMOTIONAL 'The leading lady seems unified about something.'
 ''Yes. She complains that the leading man makes love to her with too much fer vor"
 That's singular. don't understa nd it.'
 ''such cases are not uncommon on tho stage"
 But this chap is her husband"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

newspaper paragrapher suggests father show after the babies are put to bed Father was never intended for ex- hibition purposes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Victor Murdock emerged from obscurity long enough to announce that the pro- gressives will be in the 1918 fight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

The conversational zero is a discus sion of national defense by two jingoes who think one American can whip six Flu. ropeans
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES

That depends on the circumstances, son. In our house the last word is usual ly won't corruption for will not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Race riots are by no means confined to the south. Detroit recently had one that could not shave been surpassed by any town in Texas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

The German equivalent for Pooh pooh" is freely used by the Teutons when anybody insnuates that they are being starved out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Scientists with a calm disregard for the war in Europe continue their hunt for buried cities, a harmless and instructive way to spend ones time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
THE EGoTIsT.

We wish a certain type of man
 Deep in the oceans maze were sunk Who says of every human plan,
 Except his own, 'Oh, shawl It's punk. ''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Wherever Grand Duke Nicholas goes there is action, but just now it is chiefly of the rear guard kind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Von Mackenzen recently gained seven miles with loss of 35,oOO men. Five thou sand men to the mile. The cost was trif- ling!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Colonel Roosevelt stopped over in Chi cago long enough to scratch tiger on the back in the Lincoln park zoo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Moving picture censors recently cut out a scene showing a close view of a man placing bet on a horse race The hunt for realism is discourag gng business when movie censors are on the job
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
NO LAME DUCKS THERE

From the Harrisburg Patriot.
 Cutting their heads off has a pe- cullarly tragic significance in the political affairs of Haiti. There are no lame ducks" there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Shut doors after you; Fast bind, fast findI A proverb never stale in thrifty mind.
 Merchant of Venice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

Colonel Roosevelt says he has been f. fered nothing by the republican party, which may or may not indicate recep- tive mood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
CRUEL DECEPTION.

CRUEL DECEPTION. What caused the rift in the lute?' She's a first class cook" What did that have to do with it?'' Shed been making him think all alonl hat she couldn't boil water"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

At least the movies will never be able to put the girl show out of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

newspaper correspondent infers that Chinese money is joke. Chinese wages are joke to the honest worlSingman in America who gets peevish if he doesn't receive at least S5 for eight hours work
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05
ABOUT NED BRACE

Hon. E. w. Barrett. Birmingham, Ala: Dear Colonel: Allow me to express my appreciation of the sound. solid, common sense contained in your Sunday Talks" l wish they could be read by every man in Alabama. Yours truly,
 J. T. GORMAN. Mobile. July ?, 1915 CAUTION ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY From the Savannah Press. In Sing Sing you must have a care when you take a chair.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-08-05

PRECEDED BY PRoNoUN q" Pa, what is meant by the last word?"