Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1915-09-04

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Their Names Were MiIIie and TiIIie."
was sleeping as noisily as possible,
and when 1 started up the stepladder
he began to render Mendelssohns
obbIigato for the trombone in the key
of G..
Above the roar of the train from
away off in lower No. 2 family 1 could
hear an answering bugle call.
/ climbed up prepared for the worst
and in the twinkling of an eye the
porter removed the stepladder and
there I was, sitting on the perilous
edge of my pantry shelf with nothing
to comfort me save the exhaust of
professional snorer.
After about five minutes devoted to
a parade of all my sins, 1 began to
try to extract my personality from my
coat, but when 1 pushed my arm up
in the air to get the sleeve loose my
knuckle struck the hardwood finish
| and 1 fell backward on the cast-iron
| pillows, breathing hoarsely like
busy jackrabbit.
I waited about ten minutes while
my brain was bobting back and forth
| with the excitement of running fifty
miles an hour over a careless part of
tried to approach my shoe laces-
Say! If you're a man and you
weigh in the neighborhood of 200
pounds, most of which is in the re-
| gion of the equator, you will appre-
! ciate what it means to lie on your
| back in an upper berth and try to get
| your shoes off.
| And this goes double for the man
who weighs more than 200 pounds.
| Every time l reached for my feet
/ to get my shoes off l bumped my
head off; so I decided that in order
| to keep my head on had better keep
my shoes on also.
Then l tried to divorce my suspend
ers from my shoulders but just as I
| got the suspenders half way over my
| head / struck my crazy bone on the
rafters, and there l was, suspendered
between heaven and earth. but pray
ing with all my heart for bottle of
arnica.
Finally 1 decided to sleep as ma
ture made me, with all my clothes on,
including my rubbers.
So stretched out, but Just then the
train struck a curve and / went up in
the air till the ceiling hit me, and
then l bounced over to the edge of
the precipice and hung there, trem-
bling on the verge
Below me all was dark and gloomy,
and only by the hoarse groans of the
snorers could / tell that the Pullman
company was still making money
Luck was with me, however, for Just
then the train struck an in-shcot
curve which pushed me to the wall,
and 1 bumped my head so completely
that 1 fell asleep.
When 1 woke up small package
of daylight was peeping into the car,
so decided to descend from my cup
board shelf at once.
I peeped out through the aluminium
} curtains, but there was no sign of
the co1ored porter and the stepladder
was invisible to the naked eye
The car was peaceful now. with the
exception of a gent in lower No 4,
who had a strangle hold on a Bee
thoyen sonata and was beating the
cadence out of it.
made a short prayer and conclud-
, ed to fall out. but just then one of my
feet rested on something solid; so !
put both feet on it and began to step
down.
Alas, however. the moment / put
my weight on it my stepping stone
gave way and fell overheard with a
l splash.
How dare you put your feet on my
head?" yelled the man on the ground
I moor of my bedroom
: Excuse me- 1t felt like something
! wooden / whispered, while / dashed
: madly for the smoker
4 From that day to this 1 have never
' been able to look Pullman car in the
face, and whenever anybody mentions
] an upper berth to me lose my pres
r ence of mind and get peevish.
4 If you have ever been there your
3 self know you don't blame me!
D Do your