Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1915-10-31
CASES OF UNCONSCIOUS WIT
Making Bad Bulls in Times Past Has
Given the Opinion that Makers
Were Wise Men.
SOME SPECIMENS ARE CITED


II was Sir Richard Steele who said
that the ''bull' wss a result OF climate
and that II an EnEishnan were born
In Ireland he would make just ar many.
The collection OF this form Of wit y
very timely Now. Of all TIRES. We
need wit and kindly humor. And tboee
qualities belong IN generous measure to
J. G. Percy, whose book OF Bulls and
Blunders" has given me an hour Or twcs
| delightful relaxation. says T. Pa
| Weekly.
Mr.. Percy gives a fine specimen from
\ old timesi ~
''Grose. in his 'olIo, relates e as a
fact that in May. lisa, a bill relating to
franking was sent from Ireland for the
| royal assent One clause enacted that
any member who, from illness or airy
other cause, should be unable TO write.
might authorize another 10 frank for
| him. provided that on the back Of the
I letter 30 ranked the member gave UNI
der his hand a full certificate OF his in
/ ability to write"
! Even Cobbett managed TO perpetrate
the following sentence In Rural Rides
II saw no corn standing IN ricks, a
| thing / never saw before and would not
have believed Il had 1 not seen IT,"
Humor expresses Itself in action as
we'll as words. The Irish rebels OF 17s6
, enacted a ''buil" OF remarkable kind.
They wished to annoy the Hon. John
Beresford, banker. 80. forgetting that
every bank note that n lost reIieves a
bank of liability, they collected at great
expense = pile OF Beresford paper money
and burnt It with great sound and fury.
Mr. Percy. tells another story. this
time OF psychologist bull" from be-
yond the Rhinei -.. -.-..-.- ..,....---.-
There is most excellent story Of a
German old maid. who had petltiened the
authorities to remove great hill from
In front OF her house. Sin order that she
might get an unobstructed view of the
river Rhine, The authorities were I'M
Oblising and pighosded. and would not
move the HILL The old mail pleaded, but
quite In vain. But she was a pious
Bible-reading woman. and a linesl de-
scendant Of Martin Luther into the bar
gain. She remembered the text about
the faith that can move mountains, and
she resolved 70 try It on ths great,
troublesome hill that cut off her view
Of the beautiful Rhine. She decided
upon q night of the prayer that the
mountain might be removed, with i'm
be answered All night long shs wres-
tied like Jacob Of old. In the morning
she rose, with radiant countenanoe, con-
fidently drew the curtain OF her window
that looked toward the mountain. stag
gered back with apparent surprise, and
exclaimed; And there Il stands, just
as expectedr"
An Irish NJ. p. somewhat wearied by
debate. perpetrated the following: 'If
you leave this question 70 us for three
years, We will settle It tomorrow morn
Ing" sr
IL Fails to Cure.
"Sir Edward Carson" Gays the au-
: thor, lis specially addicted TO the Taurus
=. Hibernicus. which long residence In
: London has failed TO cure have Just
room for two prime Carsonian speci-
/ mems. The Ulster leader said, Mr.. A.
: quith was like n drunken man walking
: along straight line-the further he
Z went the sooner he fell At Mount
: Ddgeoombe Sir Edward referred in cor
. dial terms to the gentleman 1 see be-
| hind me-. And his friend. Mr.. r. E
Smith. NJ p. In discussing the Parlia-
ment act with its famous preamble, re-
ferred to them as twin bills, the younger
OF which had not yet been born"
With these gems II would be hard tc
compete But the book IL full Of them
Scottish. Australian and American al
contribute to this lucky tub OF verba
0 topsy-turvy.
The mixed metaphor. like the "shibbo
Z leth," often is the result Of looking OF
: the wine when II IL red But sometimes
d as In the following instance. It Is the re-
n suit OF vigorous attempt at vitupera
r ton:
!. There was an editor or q local pape-
In little Wisconsin town who was
y source OF perennial Joy. It Is on recort
/ In his files. observed by an appreciativ,
, local reader, that one week, while re
a buking some heinous charge by the op
position. he announced that chickens
like two-edged swords, Outlines com,
: home to roost' On another occasion, II
, handling the case OF q contemporary, h,
= said: Thus, the black lie. issuing from
his base throat, becomes q boomerang
TO Ids hand. and he IL hoist by his owl
= petard. and finds himself . marked
Z man."
Into the BulI Ring.
Mr.. Percys personal circle seems TO b.
. a promising bull ring He gives the fol