The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-06-05
Used Up!
That's What Lem Hutchins Was &
by His Own Wife Too---lem Is
Able to Be Up and Around at
This Writin but He Got a Tur-
ribIe Thrashin.--It Was All a
Mistake of Mistooken Identify

Lem Hutchins met with a turrib1e
surprise on Thursday last the memry
of which will cluster around Lem as
| long as he lives we persoom. Lem was
not only surprised but he was also tur-
rible mauled by nobuddy else exseptir
| his wife and person cant skeercely
blame her under the circumstances, nor
Lem either for that matter. 1t was jest
a axident as you might say all around
AS everybuddy in Bingville knows
Lem Hutchins has al1us wore whiskers
as long as ennybuddy in these parts kin
remember. Lem wore whiskers long
afore he was married and he has wore
EN- ever sinst. We understand on good
otheoritty that there amt pr of sheers
ever fetched Lens whiskers sinst he 1st
begin to wear whiskers until last
Thursday.
On last Thursday evg about 8 D. m.
Hines our tonsorial artist s. expert
barber jest to chat a while with Harve
who wassent doink ennythink but sharp
ing UP his rasers.
Well, as Lem set there Harve askt
bin why in thunderashon he diddent
shave his whiskers off. Lem told Harve
he diddent shave his whiskers often his
Ease becuz they KEEP his Ease warm in
winter and shaded it from the sun in
summer and not only that but another
reason why he diddent shave his
whiskers was that it was too expensive
to have shaved off and he couldn't af-
ford it. Then Harve told Lem that
being as he wassent very bizzy and that
trade in the barbering line had been
turrible dull of late he would shave
LENS whiskers off for the ridicklus
low sum of cts whereas the reglar
price was 10 cts but being as it was
l.. L.
the price in haff
Lem he himn1ed and hawed and dick
cred with Harve and after he had beat
Harve down to 3 cts Lem he got into
the barber chair and told Harve to go
ahead which Harve done.
LENS whiskers was turrib1e long and
all matted up being as we have said
they amt been cut sinst time memorial
as we might say and Harve found he
had awful job on his hands First
HaTve cut Lens whiskers as c1ost as he
could with the sheers, then he went to
work on EN- with his razzer and after
quite spell he had Lens Ease as clean
and smooth as could be but without
whiskers Lem lookt ridicklus and so
mulch like somebuddy else that skeerce-
ly ennybuddy has recognized him sinst
without they ask who he is of some
buddy that knows.
1t d. llCdIly p H. WliCI IOili pau
Harve the cts for shaving his Ease
and started home. When Lem arrove
at his own door the lights in the house
was all out and Lem calkilated that his
wife Mirandy had went to bed so Lem
snuk into the house and lit the candle
and elm the stairs to the upper back
chamber and shure enuff there was
Mirandy in bed sound asleep.
Lem thort he would crawl into bed
without wakin up Mirandy and inform
in her that he had had mis- whiskers
shaved off so he done so and right there
is where he made a turrib1e mistake.
Lem should of told Mirandy Well
Lem blowd out the candle and crawled
in bed and went to sleep.
About o'clock in the mornin Miriam
dy was woke up by a violent toothake
so she CHM outen bed and went down |
stairs to the kitchen to git some Glove |
oil or somethink to put into her akin .