Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1915-08-27
JUSTICE TOP[uMBER
Writer Calls a Halt on the vener-
able Joke.
"skiiIed Scientist" is New AppeiIat.on
Given Him, and 1t May Be, That
He VIII Be Held Deserv.
ing of 1t.

lime to call halt on the yeneF-
able joke about the plumber. He is q.
skilled scientist. just as is the sur.
geon a trained and highly, intelligent
artist The only difference is that
one ministers to body diseased or
smashed up in some of its essential
parts. and the other ministers to the
larger organism in which a group of
humans make their home, healing its
diseases SO far at least as they have
to do with the circulatory and other
important systems upon which the
health of the whole depends
For instance: the other day some
thlng went wrong with Smiths house
IN Its most vital parts. The kitchen
boiler cracked, to be definite. The
symptoms could be interpreted by
anybody. and clearly a major opera
llon was Immediately necessary. The
Skilled surgeon was summoned. IL
was decided that the house should
nave new heart. Also after consul
tation and mature consideration IT
was determined that certain minor
defects of the circulatory system, as
leaking taps and insufficient valves,
should be patched up and put on the
JoD again. The cisterns no longer
should murmur.
Alas. The following night Smith
was awakened by the steady drip
ping OF water close by the side of
his couch. The candle which was
hurriedly procured showed that upon
the ceiling there was circular patch
| of wetness rapidly gaining in size.
Qulzzical investigations showed that
all seemed to be in order. The ear
applied to walls and floors detected,
no gaspings or gurglings. The reser-
voirs seemed to maintain their cor
rect levels. The telephone emergency
call got from the nearest plumber,
after a half hour of rather wild work.
merely the advice-"Tap on the sup
ply pipe with a hammer" That was
not entirely satisfactory, and another
plumber was summoned. He meas
ured, calculated and listened. He
finally diagnosed thus: Must be the
supply pipe just before it enters the
top OF the reservoir.
And all hands went over to the
house, turned of the supply in the
cellar, drained the cisterns and sought
peace and sleep once more.
In the morning the plrmber made
his official call. A brief examination
convinced him that his colleagues
diagnosis of the night before had. been
correct. Serious measures being
necessary. he began to pull up floors
and remove baseboards. Thus there
were laid bare the secrets of the an
atomy of the house. All the hidden
organs were revealed. Wires and
pipes and traps and mysterious appli
ances hidden beneath paint and wall
paper acquired threatening look
/ and the observer could not but won
! der what might happen if they should
once take possession Of the premises
on their own account
Examination by the master sur
geon. with Mr.. Smith trailing at his
/ heels. revealed no serious LESSONS mol
fractures. A temporary restoration ol
: circulation showed no flaw in tbs
/ main arteries. MIR. Smith in despair
: mentioned one or two of the emer
Y gency measures of the night before
the minor adjustments of taps ant
valves. The surgeon smiled. FIJI
up the cisterns and wait" he said
; The pipes began to throb. The wa
:. ter rose to the customary level WheI
e the top of the reservoir filed ant
q the noise was reduced to the mini
r mum, there it was again.
There in the bedroom-ssDrip. drip.
it came again
The flaw was found at last. 1t wal
S in the waste or overflow pipe OF tha
a top reservoir. For the seventeenth
e time the weary Mr.. Smith climbet
g to the top of his house. There wa
r short spout. perhaps six feet long
that made the whole trouble.-Bostol
Herald