The Washington herald., 1915-01-03
THE VALUE
OF TACT

Tact is an invaluable asset for the man
or woman with social ambitions And
please bear in mind that tact is not
toadyism. We all know the type of girl
who hangs breathlessly on every word
uttered by the woman of social influence
n who praises the hideous gowns of the
woman whose dinner invitations she de-
eires TO secure. She is the girl who sim
oily toadies. The tactful girl is not
.oady-and what is more she does not
lave TO be
Tact consists of doing the gracious
ming in a gracious way at the psyche
logical moment when sraciousncss is
most required. Tact is forgetfulness of
self without "Gush.'' Slang may not be
good form. but it is often most express
sive in an article on good form, and
there is no word which will express so
clearly a certain state of mind and form
Of conversation as that word "gush''
The tactful girl is the girl We are all
-lad to sec in time of trouble. She will
not open the wound afresh. She will
not try 10 belittle our particular form
of affiiction. And she will not leave the
scene Of trouble TO carry tales.
The other night two old-time friends
"tmc to the parting of the ways, simply
ho"ause one was in trouble and the
other was not tartfuI. And they were
mon at that
tn" mar in trouble had inst PASSED
through an experience which would try
tho strongest nerves. The man without
tact would have gone all to pieces under
The sam" experience and strain but IL
lid not realize that fact or. more plainly
Speaking. he did not think for his friend
Instead he Strodc fiPpantIy into the
presence of the man who was holding
his nerves down with n grip like iron
ami proco"d'-d jauntily to remark: Say.
] heard good one about blank today
."IIcavcuS, man." answered his friend.
don't tell me funny stories when I'm
IN this frame of mind
oh, you'll he all over this pretty
S""ii-and next Year you'll laugh about
quite true-So kiu@ is Providence in
softeninE bereavement or failure with
tn" balm Of time, But just at that mo-
ment, tn" fiippant remark was like salt
on an open wound. The man i'm trouble
told the tactl'.sS man what he thought
"t him As "a comforter. and the tactlesS
man told TN" troubled man what h'
thought of chap who could not laugh
In In" fu,' of catastrophe. and the
door WAS hanged between them
II "nI> the tactI"ss man had let his
tl"nd give Vent IL his feelings IC he
had sat silent ur uttered An occasional
that = 80" a. the tai" proceeded. the
i.i"md would HAY" been relieved 10y the
rr"'">- "f pouring forth his soul. and
they would have E0n" out for nerve
l">tInc walk. ann i. arm.
Young man became cutanEIed with a
SchcmlnG woman much older than him
self and vas rescued from an untimcIy
matt imuUial fatc Icy Il r"Suurccful moth
90. AMONG his friends II was agreed that
ia" affair Mas not 10 h" discussed m lis
Ir"s"nr". hul "u" night at a social gath
"lln- q Woman VIII" MEYER loses her .
ham"'. {" l@ud h"r own ~,N remarked
I.t"tIr--ly.
= hear Miss GtsI Is to bc married to
- Huffai" man next week. Well. George. ,
that wa~ a L.k, escape for YOU You
"Ghi I" thank Your mother every LAY .
"f our life
Si"kcnin- silence followed. and every
man in the room =larcd openly or covert
y at the taCtlcSs young matrou who's,
SNUG remark had opened an old wound
and made every one in the room feel
awkward.
The girl who can 20 into a sick room
and cheer the sufferer without making .
light of the lattcr's atiiiction. who can .
20 into tn" house of mourning and show
courteous sympathy or perform useful .
service without becoming maudlin and .
hysteriCal. who can Soothe by a we'll .
chosen remark. the feelings Of some
woman who has just been snubbed by .
another persOn->he is the Iactful girl.
If your friend has Just met with .
loss. OF passed through some unpleas- .
ant experience, let her tell you all about .
it without interruption. DO not stop her .
at the end of the first sentence with oh. .
YES. but ] had muCn more severe at
tack
The girl who can listen while another
party relieves her feelings is tho ,tactful
-irl Remember that for the time being
h, individual in trouble cannot get her
thoughts from herself. DO not try L,
perform this miracle for her. She will
not thank you.
Allow for the mental stress and nerve
strain under which your friend Is labor
inS-and do not interrupt nor thrust your
own affairs upon her attention. At an
other tire. when she has disposed Of her
particular problems, she will bc glad
To listen to YOUR confidence For the
moment. force yourself to concentrate
upon her affairs, her troubles. That is
tact in time of trouble, u social asset
" ell worth CUltivating.