The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1915-09-01
"EPHRAIM is JOINED TO HIS
IDOLS-LET HIM ALONE"
Editor Leading Paper,
Abbeville, S. G.

Editor Leading Paper,
Abbeville, S. c.
Dear SIR
We wish to make some inquiry as
to two individuals who we're in this
place last Thursday. One was a
short stout man about forty-seven
years old, wore a palm beach suit,
which he called a "Roogheimer" or
something like that, wore glasses, and
an imitation panama hat; the other
was a wise-looking guy, with nose
glasses and he wore his pencil under
his hat band; he weighs about 165,
and evidently has seen better days.
He must be a college professor, or
some kind of a literary ~"infidelic,"
extinct now of course.
Perhaps, if you are. Informed of
the performances of these individuals
you may be able better to advise who
they are. They arrived here on the
II o'clock train, and repaired to our
leading hotel, and at once inquired
the price Of registering, without
meals or rooms; the fat n stating
that he never took anything for din
ner except ice-water. In order to
humor the joke the clerk informed
them that the price would be twenty
five cents each; to this the Wise One
objected, saying that he was in the
advertising business himself, and that
twenty-five cents per line was too
much. The fat one seemed willing
to pay the price, provided a guar
antee was given that their names
would be published among the "ar-
rivals" but when informed that only
prominent people were generally
noticed" in this way, and when he
could not be allowed to write "promi-
nent" after his name IN the register,
the trade was called off.
But the gentlemen did not leave.
They seemed very polite, though,
having taken their hats off as soon
as they entered the hotel lobby.
They took a seat near the main en-
trance, and for sometime annoyed the
guests of the hotel, by getting up and
introducing themselves to each per-
son who came in. If the fat one got
to the person coming in first he
would say, "Allow me to introduce
you to the president of the large fur
niture emporium, Upper Main, Alb
beville, S. c.; Uncle Jim, Vice Presi-
dent, Sam McCuen and Roy Power,
chauffeur and book-keeper; John
White, drayman; shake hands with
my friend, the writer" If the wise
one spoke first he had a "spiel" about
his circulation, and the large amount
of advertising he was doing, stating
"the population of Abbeville is 1925
when we are away; $4,000 when we
are there"
From the hotel the gentlemen went
out into the business section. AS
they passed a large furniture estab-
lishment, a plain clothes officer, who
was watching them, suggested to the
Fat Cne that he was passing a large
furniture store. He didn't even lock
up, only exclaimed "Great falls of
blue mud, it is nothing to compare
with Upper Main, Abbeville, S. c."
and as he finished his companion
chimed in with, "Pull for Abbeville,
or Pull out"
When the officer showed them his
badge they seemed willing enough to
take the next train out of the city
and they did 20 very quietly, except
that as the train pulled out the Wise
One stuck his head out of the window
and called to a passing automobilist,
"Cut 1t Out" while the fat gentle
man called on the conductor for a
sixth of a dozen lunches, buy now and
pay later plan.
We have concluded that these par
ties must be from around Abbeville,
and that it would be we'll for their
relatives to know something of their
whereabouts. If you know who they
are, we believe it would be an act of
kindness for you to advise them.
Chief of Sanitary Dept,
Asheville, N. C.
Some of our readers may know
who the parties referred to are, and
may know their relatives, if so, we
should be glad to have them notified