davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

The home secretary, we understand, cannot see his way to allow a distin- guished Anglo-German who dwells in our midst with his family to exhibit, with view to safeguarding his home against Zeppelins, an Illuminated sky sign bearing the words "Gute leute wohnen heir" ("Good people live here. .")--London Punch.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
Why He TelephOned

John Kendrick Bangs was one day calling up his wife on the telephone. The maid at the other end did not recognize her masters voice." and after Bangs had told her whom he wanted, the maid asked:
 "Do you want to speak with Mrs. Bangs?"
 "No, indeed" replied the humorist; q want to kiss her"
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

Former Mistress-I would like to give you a good recommendation, De lia, but my conscience compels me to state that you never got the meals on time. I wonder how I can put it in nice sort of way, Delia-Yez moight just. say thot Oi got the meals the same as Oi got me pay.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

q notice you consult that man ire quently." q have great respect for him." said Congressman Flubdub. "As to why?" q offered him little pif- fling office once, and he would not give up a good-paying business to &C., cept it.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

Deacon-Susie, am sorry your papa was not at meeting. Susie Please, no, sir; he went out walking in the woods. Deacon--I am afraid, Susie, your papa does not fear God. Susie-Oh, yes, sir; l guess he does: he took his gun with him.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

Timid Youth-What do l have to pay for a marriage license? Facetious Clerk-Well, you get it on the install ment plan. Timid Youth-How's that /? Facetious Clerk-Two dollars down and most of your salary each week for the rest of your life.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
A PROCLAMATION By the Governor of Arizona
Appealing to the People of Arizona for general cooperation in relief of suffering families in the Clifton-Moren Mining
 District

Clifton- Morenci Mining
 District
 This is the season of harvests, that especial time of the year when toll is taken of Natures bounteous usufruct; when industries are measured in terms of their products; when labor takes accounting of that which it produces; and when prosperity is carefully gauged in it's relation to human en- deavor. It is well, if at this period of the year when the day of thanks giving approaches, they who have plenty may freely celebrate their good fortune with the comforting assurance that the grim spectre of woeful want is not abroad anywhere in the land. For the observance of feast days when the hungry go unfed, the houseless go unsheltered and the sorrowing go un- comforted must savour sharply of sacrilege, and ever be tinctured with sadness.
 In the Clifton Morenci mining dis trict of Greenlee county, state of Ari- zona, there exists deplorably a condi tion whereby nearly five thousand workingmen are deprived of employ ment, and where, consequently, hun dreds of families with their slender savings exhausted are entering upon the rigorous winter season without any dependable supply of the neces- sities of life. Words cannot express or picture portray the extreme suffer- ing that even now is barring its cruel visage to the people of this stricken l district.
 Pursuant, therefore, to the plain dictates of humanity, I, Geo. w. P. Hunt, Governor of Arizona, do herein proclaim the serious need of food, fuel and clothing in the Clifton-Morenci district, and do earnestly appeal to the generous people of this state for such contributions of money and supplies as will alleviate suffering and afford means of simple sustenance for penni- less families in this time of industrial trouble All civic and benevolent organizations are especially urged to organize and conduct movements for the gathering and shipment of sup plies to the worlSmen's Relief Com mittee, care of the Sheriff of Greenlee county, Clifton, Arizona, to the end that, through ministrations unto those who are afflicted, the spirit of mercy and brotherly love may be exemplified in our citizenship.
 In Witness Whereof, have hereun- to set my hand and caused the Great Seal of the State of Arizona to be affixed.
 Done at Phoenix, the Capital, the 27th day of October, A. D. 1915.
 GEO. w. P. HUNT, Governor of Arizona. Attest:
 SIDNEY P. OSBORN.
 Secretary of State.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

Jones-That seedy-looking individ- ual is Professor Ragtag. He is work ing on a scheme that will make him rich if he can perfect it. Smith What is the scheme? Jones--A plan to enable outsiders to make money in Wall Street.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

O'Brien-So the landrord lowered the rint for yez. He'll save money at that. Casey-How so? O'Brien- Shure, it's less he'll be losin' when ye don't pay it.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
Unappreciated

Photographers Assistant-Mrs. Van Perkins complains that her portraits don't look like her.
 Photographer-Complai does she ? She ought to be grateful.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
Enough

Precocious Offspring-Pa, may l ask just one more question:?
 Patient Pater-Yes, my son Just one more.
 Precocious Offspring-Well, then, pa, how is it that the night falls, but it's the day that breaks?
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

He is some white hope, isn't he?" "Indeed he is, but he doesn't deserve any special credit for being such a fighter" "Why not ?" His mother named him Montmorency and kept his hair in ringlets until he was fourteen. He had to fight"
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

Modesty is an engaging quality in a young man, and the war office is said to have appreciated the letter of youth with no military experience whatever who, in applying for com mission, stated that he would be quite willing to start as lieutenant.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05

The officer (having been challenged by a recruit and seeking to improve the occasion)-I say, you know, that was quite right, but you left out "All's we'll" The recruit-"All's well, is it, sir? An, me two feet like a block of ice"
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
UncOmplimentary

"You look blue and discouraged, old man."
 "I'm not myself this morning" "Well, that's nothing to feel so bad about"
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
Attest.
SIDNEY P. OSBORN.
 Secretary of State.
He Has To

Bacon-What do you suppose makes that baby cry so fearfully loud?
 Egbert-Oh, it's father is hard of hearing, you know.
The Coconino sun., 1915-11-05
HOw'S This /?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
 F. J. CHENEY CO.,, Toledo. o. we the undersigned. have known F. J. Cheney for the last 10 years. and believe him perfectly honorable in all business transactions and financially able to carry out any obligations
 NAT. BANK OF COMMERCE.
 Toledo, Ohio. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Testimonials sent free Price 70 cents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists. Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
STILL SEEKING HONEST MAN
According to Story, Dogenes Has
Small Hope Of Finding Him
In Cleveland.

Diogenes was sitting on fire
hydrant when a kindly faced man
stopped and addressed him.
What's wrong with you, old
friend?" he asked
I've been sorely misused," replied
the cynic.
I'm what way?"
"As | turned yonder corner carry
ing my lantern youth approached
me. Wherefore the glim?' he asked.
] replied that ! was Diogenes looking
for an honest man. The youth
laughed You're wasting time in this
town, uncle he said. Your glim is
no use here And what do you think?
He took my lantern away from me.
and my hat and my street car pennies,
and ran around the corner. The only
thing he left of any value was my
collar button. Do you wonder that
appear morose?"
mot at ALL" replied the kindly
faced citizen. "You are quite excusa.
BILE. am little sorry, however, that
in your search for an honest man you
couldn't have waited until you met
me. But, perhaps, it's just as we'll
So saying, he stopped down sudden
ly and, snatching away the philoso-
piers collar button, ran up the near
by alley and disappeared.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
GUARDING GOLD ON LINERS
Most Daring of Robbers Would Find
Difficulty In LootIno Strong
Rooms of Steamers.

It would be natural to suppose that
shipments of gold bullion back and
forth across the Atlantic on the big
liners would be attended by consider
able precaution, but there is probably
no other place in the world where the
transport Of great wealth is carried on
with such simplicity.
One of the great liners has two
strong-rooms, the smaller being in
close proximity to the captains quar-
ters, while the other is next to the
provision department. The small
strong-room has its walls. floor and
ceiling lined with two-inch steel plate,
and contains nothing in the way of
furnishing other than shelves. This
has more than once contained enough
gold to buy the liner many times
over. The locks, which are of the
double variety, are rendered still
more secure by covering the keyholes
with steel hasps, which are themselves
locked in place with massive padlocks
This strong.room, being located in the
most frequented portion of the ship, is
passed by persons at all hours of the
day and night, which, after all, is the
great protection.
The strong-room located near the
provision department is II feet long
by four feet wide, and it often hap
pens that both these rooms are filled
to capacity with gold bullion. On one
occasion the two rooms contained
$1O0,0O0,O0O in gold bullion, packed in
small kegs bound with steel hoops.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
BIBLES PLACE IN LITERATURE
knowledge Of the Scriptures Has
Been Acknowledged Essential to
Education.

The ignorance of the Bible is to be
deplored for other than religious rea-
sons. It's cultural value Is very great.
We have been learning during the last
half century that knowledge Of Eng.
lish literature Is an indispensable ele-
ment in public education; that in get.
ting to know" as Matthew Arnold con-
tended, "the best that has been said
and thought in the world" we broad
en- our horizon and purify our ideals,
and thus prepare ourselves for the du-
ties of citizenship. Our colleges and
universities have been enforcing this
truth upon US by their requirements
for admission.
But If a knowledge of literature Is
indispensable to the education OF
citizen, acquaintance with the English
Bible is surely fundamental for that
knowledge Washington GLADDEN.
writes in the Atlantic. All our best
English literature is shot through and
through with Biblical quotations, max
inns, metaphors, characters. alluslons'
the one book with which a reader
needs to have familiar acquaintance
is the English Bible.
1t is ridiculous for anyone to un'
dertake to teach English literature
who does not know his Bible at least
as well as he knows his Shakespeare
On the pages he is undertaking to
elucidate he will meet the Bible five
times where he will meet Shakespeare
once. For purposes of critical exposi-
ton, it is certainly quite as necessary
for him to understand Jacob as to un-
derstand Shylock; familiarity with
Job is of greater practical value than
familiarity with Paradise Lost"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
Benevolence.

My ideal of human intercourse
would be state of things in which no
man will ever stand in need OF any
other mans help, but will derive all
his satisfaction from the great social
tides which own no individual names.
No man can play the deity to his fel'
low man with impunity-l mean spirit
ual impunity, of course. For see: II
i am at all satisfied with that rela-
ton, If it contents me to be In posi-
ton of generosity towards others,
must be remarkably Indifferent at bot
tom to the gross social inequality
which permits that position, and in
stead of resenting the enforced humili-
ution of my fellow man to myself, in
the interests of humanity, / acquiesce
in it for the sake of the profit it yields
to my own self-complacency. l do
hope the reign of benevolence is over;
until that event occurs | am sure the
reign of God will be impossible
Henry James, Sr.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
SAVE THE COST OF SPRAYING
Martins and Blueblrds Should Have
Houses Provided for Them Near
the Orchard.

The American Bird House Journal
says that farmers and orchardists can
avoid the cost of spraying fruit trees
by providing the purple martins with
a residence in or near the orchard and
encouraging these intelligent birds to
keep down the insect pests. The pa
per produces evidence to show that
the martins protected certain Or
chard to such an extent that great
crops of fruit were raised without any
spraying at all. 1t may be too much
to assume that the birds will take
care OF all tree pests; the San Jose
scale, for instance must be beyond
the reach of any bird. But there Is
no doubt about the activity and the
value of martins and bluebirds In fight
ing insect pests, nor any doubt at all
of the readiness of these birds to oc-
cupy ard take advantage of the nice
little houses provided for them, pro-
vided the English sparrows are kept
at their distance.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
Best Not to Copy Too Closely.

"After the general change Of the
political situation In the middle ages
that took away the city y-planning activ.
tiles from the princes, and either an.
initiated them or put them in the
hands Of the citizens, those citizens
in very many cases turned out to be
very ordinary, short-sighted, and un.
educated bourgeois" Therefore, con-
tinues DR.. Werner Hegemann, German
expert, it behooves city planners of
today not to take too seriously the
work OF city planners of yesterday.
Beauty is all very we'll, but there are
other things to be considered.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08

hTOWNV5
M HELPS
STREETS OF MANY LEVELS
Time May Come When Multiple Road.
ways viii Be Matter Of
Necessity.

Fifty years ago the notion of a 90
story building would have seemed ex-
travagant Now it Is commonplace.
We have with us some prophets who
talk about the city of the future as a
place of many stories. We have now
but one level Of streets. They fore
tell many levels, the Portland Ore
gonian states. Perhaps there will be
a plane of streets for every floor In
the big buildings The streets will be
laid on concrete arches and lighted by
electricity. Keeping them clean will
not be much of task because no
horses will be permitted upon them,
nothing but gasoline trucks. The
horse, amiable and useful creature
that he Is, must be blamed as the
great detiler of the streets. When
he has taken his final farewell of the
world, dirt and flies will vanish too.
The need of some such modification
In municipal architecture has become
apparent. In few years it will be
pressing. Few single streets are wide
| NhouSh w oSNoiil iiibhulc lILt pppulu-
tion Of the big buildings which border
them In the busy quarters Of our cit
les. There is always congestion, tur-
moil and delay when the cave dwell
ers pour out in body. In case Of
great fire there would be terrible
panic and destruction of life. Besides
all that, there is great loss of time in
continually going from the top to the
bottom of high buildings. The eleva-
tor service is usually exemplary, but
It cannot work miracles.
With streets connecting all the
tenth stories of the same city with
one another the dwelers at that alti.
tude would constitute an independent
community. There would be another
set Of streets at the fifteenth story
and still others higher up and lower
down. Business would naturally tend
to segregate its departments on differ
ent levels and an endless saving of
time and toll would ensue.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08

Few persons know the origin of this
common name. 1t originated In this
way: The earlier experimenters with
the fruit believed that 1t had great
effect on the speen-that is to say, 1t
made persons liable to crossness good
natured-gave them, so to speak,
lovely disposition, and for this reason
the plant was known to the ancient
Spaniards as the love apple. BY the
name of love apple 1t Is still known
in many English-speaking countries.
The word tomato is derived from the
same source, that is to say, from the
original Latin word amo, to love, al
though we use it now as a Spanish
derivative, tomato being Spanish ex'
preston. Monthly.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
Sexton Had Discretion.

At Christmas time certain ladies' OF
an English parish were busy decorat-
ing the village church, when they
were informed that goat was max
ing meal of peace on Earth Good
Will Toward Men" design in yew-
leaves, which was standing in the
churchyard ready for removal into the
building. The sexton, who was assist
ing, Immediately rushed to the rescue,
but the goat, resenting the Interrupt
ton. repelled his attack vigorously.
Make haste, Johnson, and get up"
said the wears wife, from place Of
safety; its starting to eat again."
Let him eat again, ma'am!" said
Johnson; I'm going to wait till he's
got some good will to men inside
lrm!"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
A Wide Rance,

A young woman with an aspiration
to shine in the chorus applied to An
dreas Dippel, who has managed opera
singers all his life, for position in his
company. ITO sing In chorus Of
mine," said Mr.. Dippel, you must
have a good voice." "Oh, but I have
one," replied the girl. Mr.. Dippel led
her to the piano and asked her to dem.
onstrate her vocal powers. Sitting at
the instrument and then swinging
around, she smiled sweetly and asked:
"Shall sing The Chairs in the Parlor
All Miss You,' or something light?"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
RECALLED OFFICER TO DUTY
Sight of Shoulder Strap Brought to
Soldier a Realization of His
Responsibilities.

There Is a story that Lieut.. Guy
Preston of the United States army
saved his men at the fight at Wound
ed Knee by remembering the senti-
ment of the old French proverbs
Mobility necessitates noble conduct
He was holding his men in line before
the Indians fred. Everyone was
looking for trouble of some kind, but
it was the unexpected thing that hap
pened.
The Indians were lowering about
with their blankets round them when
the signal was given by one OF them,
and in an instant every buck threw
away his blanket and stood revealed
with a gun in his hand. The red
skins fired They had every advan-
tage of the soldiers, for they outnum-
bered them and had taken them who'll
ly by surprise. The soldiers ran.
They did not mean to run far. but
they needed some sort Of cover.
But Preston, looking back over his
shoulder to see II the Indians were
following, or for whatever purpose a
man looks back at dangerous foe,
saw the strap on his shoulder and ex-
perienced a shock
1t occurred to him at the instant
that he was running away with the In
sigma of rank that his government
had conferred upon him. that he was,
in a way, the representative of a great
nation, and that he ought not to run.
He stopped. OF course there was no
well-defined object in his stopping.
but when the rest of the men saw
him standing there, without cover,
and returning the fire Of the Indians,
they turned back, and in five minutes
1t was ali over, and the Indians were
beaten.
1t would have been nothing short Of
a slaughter'had Preston gone with the
rest, for there was no cover until the
top Of the hill was reached, and that
was SO distant that the Indians would
have had an easy time picking of the
men as they ran. Preston's idea OF
duty was what saved the day
Youths Companion.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
The Fourth KInqdom.

80, you see," said the teacher. fin.
fishing up her talk about the three
ingdoms-Animal, Mineral and Veg
etable-"everything we can think Of
belongs to one of these. Take the
things in this room, for example. Your
desks belong to the vegetable king.
dom, your pens to the mineral king
dom, and little May (pointing to a
rosy-cheeked little tot of six) here be-
longs to the animal kingdom" May
was startled at first, then the big
tears came to her eyes and she said:
81 fink you are mistaken, teacher,
cause my muvver said as how all
little children belong to the Kingdom
of Heaven"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
ShowInu the World Moves.

One of the most startling things OF
all up the tabernacle way is to walk
suddenly into the cafeteria and see
standing there an old-fashioned, sweet
faced, gray haired woman-the exact
replica Of your dead and gone grand
mother-calmly munching "hot dog"
sandwich and slipping coffee out Of a
cumbersome receptacle bearing all the
earmarks of shaving mug,
The look of keen enjoyment on her
face is proof positive that she has
always wanted to do this very thing,
but never had a cause 80 iustihable
before.-Philadelph Record.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
SANFORD |. SHAFFER
Licensed Real Estate Agent and Broker
TnURM0NT, MD.
THIS WEEKS SPECIALS
FOR SALE.

Four Fne Building lots on Carroll St.
extended.
Several Modern Cottages in fine loca-
ton.
Twenty Acre fine farm land on Grace
ham-Thurmont road.
Several Large Building Lots at "Wood-
side."
Comfortable Home with acre ground
along State Road at edge of town.
Fifty acre farm on State Road one
mile from Thurmont.
Sixty acre farm almost in Creagers-
town. All improvements.
One building lot on Altamont ave.
Seven Room House on Walnut street
at bargain price.
Small comfortable home on East street
if bought at once.
Several Fruit and Garden Farms in
fine condition.
Severable comfortable homes in Grace
Wanted At Once.
Small, but comfortable home in good
condition, in or near town. Purchaser
will invest 81, 900 or 81, 200 if suited.
Call on or write
Sanford l.. Shaffer.
Phone No. Fl Lock Box rs
ThurmOnt, Maryland.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
Information.

The bear Ia one of the most curious
hibernators, as 1t is only the female
which sleeps, and then usually gives
birth to cubs when she wakes. The
male will not hibernate as long as
food is available. The Information of
reptiles in cold climates is complete
and hey will not awake except with
the advent of real warm temperature
or If they be brought from their lair
and exposed to artificial heat.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
For States Attorney.

| hereby announce myself as can
didate to succeed myself as States
Attorney, subject to the Democratic
Primaries. | stand upon my record.
jan 2S tp >. "A. LEWIS.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
For Sheriff.

hereby announce myself as a candi
date for Sheriff of Frederick county. sub
ject to the Republican primaries of 1915
| stand on my record as an offi:er and re
spectfully solicit your support
MARION C.. MILLER,
mch Aft Woodsboro, Md
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08
Cheese Soup.

Roast three large, green peppers.
then throw them in cold water. and
remove the skin. Shred them, then
fry in a spoonful Of butter. Add two
cupfuls of hot water and little salt.
Just before serving, add few rolled
crackers and a cupful of grated cheese.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08

CruIIers.

Mix a cupful of sugar, three table
spoonfuls of butter, cupful of cream,
three cupfuls Of flour sifted with two
teaspoonfuls of salt. II more -four Is
needed for a soft dough add it. Roll
the dough out and cut in two-inch
squares Slash with a tagging iron or
a knife, fry drain and roll in sugar.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1915-04-08

Removing EGG Stains from Silver.
A pinch of table salt taken between
the thumb and finger and rubbed on
the spot with the end OF the finger
will usually remove the darkest egg
stain from silver