Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1915-01-22
. Telegraphic
Irritation
BY MAY c. ETHERIDcE

at my operating table one night read
ing a novel to kill time-for l had little
to do-when there came a night mes
sage from a distant station. AS 500
as it was finished the operator who.
sent 1t said good night to me. l re-
piled that l wished | could say good
night to all the world. for | was tired
and sleepy and would like to go to bed.
This resulted in a bit of conversation.
In which my correspondent used GER
tain masculine phrases that indicated
If be were a man he surprised me by
saying that he was a Next
l was asked as to my sex, and, half
suspecting that the operator was try
ing to humbug me, l replied that Twas
a man.
Then followed a period of love max
ing, in which | as the man took the
lead. | found 1t very difficult to make
love as a man would, and the effort
constituted the principal part Of the
amusement I derived from the affair.
When | had nothing better to do I
would write out certain lover-like
phrases. then go over them, taking out
the feminine give Always. substituting
masculine phrases. These | would use
In the corrected form the next time
my lady called me up. l f1attered my
self that in this wayI would avoid the
appearance of being a woman.
My correspondent. If a man, which
he claimed not to be. surely played the
womanly part very well. He used
very flowing language and expressed
himself with such words as Il de-
clarei', '"Fhat's just too funny for any
thingl' Goodness graciousr" while l
gave vent to 'The dickens you sayr!'
sCut 1t outi' and You betr'
While | had been led to believe my
correspondent was a man, a constant
use of feminine expressions altered
my opinion. did not believe any man
could avoid making some slip that
would give him away. | certainly
found 1t almost impossible to avoid re-
vealing myself as a woman and re-
allied that l could only do SO in the
manner l have indicated-that is, BY
writing my phrases and correcting
them.
We exchanged, or pretended to ex-
change, photographs. though mine was
one of my cousin, a handsome fellow
about twenty-five. My correspondent
was a comedy girl with a spark of mis-
chief In her eye. 1t was this express
sion that convinced me my correspond
ent was a girl. As | looked at her
photograph it struck me that she was
Just the person to indulge In such a
wise Irritation as was being carried on
between US. looked forward with
pleasure to the day when we would
meet and | should see the look of sur
prise on her face when she discovered
her mistake.
To accomplish a meeting and apply
a test at the same time | proposed that
il my correspondent were coming my
way he should call and see me. II he
were really a man he would not scru-
pie to do so. If she We're a woman
and believed me TO be a man she
would not come to see me. but expect
me to come and see her. She stood
the test. When l made the PROPOSE
ton she expressed herself as greatly
surprised that ! should do SO. saying
that she would not think of going to
call on a man. She would. however,
be happy to have the nan call upon
her.
III there was any doubt leftsin my
mind that my operator was a woman
this dispelled it. Ieapologized for what
I called my thoughtlessness and said
that | would take an early opportuni-
ty to call upon her. Nevertheless II 1t
should turn out that some man had
been representing himselfeas a woman
it would be embarrassing for me. SO
[ concluded to forego the pleasure of
laughing at the girl and let the matter
drop.
One morning a young man alighted
from a train. came into the station.
wrote a telegram and asked me to send
1t. The message was an unimportant
one, simply stating that be would be
in a certain place at a certain date. l
counted the words. told him the price
of the message. and he threw dow the
money. But he kept me at the win
dow asking me questions about the
town. how far it was to this place and
that place and the running OF trains.
He was d~eferential, and ! was not dis
pleased to answer his questions.
Finally / broke away to send his mes
sage, and as 1 did 81 he called to me:
"If the party is not found tell them
RI leave the message"
He went of uptown. but returned In
about an hour with some flowers and.
advancing to the window, laid them
on the board over which messages are
received and asked me II he might not
send a telegram himself. Since he
knew the Morse alphabet and thought
he could stumble through one | as
scented. and. coming into the operating
room, he sat down at the instrument