Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-04-30
DOC E[DERBERRY TALKS
ON SPRING FEVER DOSES
Quotes Medical Man That Dill
Pickle Is as Effective as Sui
phur and Molasses.
Scientists Fall Back on Poke Root,
Saffran Tea and Boneset
Bitters.

Having disposed of the minutes of the
| last meeting, the Ancient and Honor
! able Federated Association for the
Timely Prevention of Spring Fever ant
| Like Distempers lay back in it's oaker
chairs to listen to Old Doc Eiderberrj
deliver his annual report on the re-
searches of the pathological commit
tee on sassafras root. saffron te:
and allied preventive remedies. Doc
| was dressed in Mexican wartime
| SILK hat, with an 1861 frock coat, III
| Indian shawl. a pair of Indiana pie-bel1
breeches. and proudly displayed the
only remaining team OF copper-toee
| boots outside of museum lie also
I hung on to green cotton umbrella
| He was able to wear the boots. he
| explained. because of the extremely
delicate size of his pedal extrenities
| copper-toed boots being boys size hoof-
ings of a dead past.
Il have read in them there New
York papers," began Old Doc Elder
berry, that science has made remark
able forward strides and advances
since our last stated meeting"
Isl who"" asked an old fussy gentle
man with a purple ear trumpet. in the
rear of the hall.
Silence" yelled the sergeant at
arms. who had to be heard as well as
| seen.
who's heo l amt never hearn tell
of ST Lantz, and I been coming to these
here meetin's since they put red lead
paint on the hubs of Eagle Hose wagon
No. l."
The old gentleman was hauled back
suddenly and violently into his chair
| and nearly precipitated a rural riot by
attempting to beat Uncle Ike Milton
Flukes with his tin ear trumpet.
Doc Elderberry Resumes.
Old Doc Elderberry began again:
II said had read in them there New
York papers that science had made
marvellous advances since our last
meeting. and that medical and chemi-
cal researches have shown that you
might as well eat a dill pickle for
spring fever as take a dose of sulphur
and molasses. This looks to me as if
scientists were about ready to follow
the lead of this august association and
to adopt it's motto. which is, as we all
| know. Change your feed and f1annels
at the same time"
Loud and vociferous cheers greeted
this sage announcement, the noise be-
ing so great as to wake up the acting
| janitor de jure and pro tenn, who
TuSHeu 10 Tie duCicul pOl-pelllcu SIcNe
and began poking violently and as
sidulously in the cold. cold ashes
The human race gets overfed in the
| winter time pursued Old Doc Elder
berry. land spring fever sets in just
| in time to be checked by a proper
| food OF yarb tea, boneset tea, dande-
| lion tea, sassafras tea, horseradish
and other anti-spring-fever medicinal
| growths, so bountifully and freely be-
slowed by mother nature. In the first
place, what is spring fever? 1t is a
| 'ornery' lazy condition of mankind that
makes a job around the house seem
harder than settin' around all day
waitin' for Number Eight to come in
with the night mail. Can mankind pro-
gress under such conditions? I re
peat. Gan mankind progress under
these tonditions?"
Loud cries Of NO! Mo-" showed that
| the august and sage association was
unanimous.
Some Medicine.
Our forefathers gathered the catnip
the saffron, the mint, the tansy. the
dock leaves and other blessed plants
FROM, tho sides Of the Tennessee NOM