The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1915-06-22
ABOUT SEVERAL THINGS.
THE FELLER WITH THB HOE.


THE TELLER WITH THE HOE.
By match raj upwardness the troglodyte
Stepped outen the ape This some time ago.
Borned was the trogdolyte with club in hand.
Twas fttin', this fer it 'nough for him
He made his Twin with the club That time,
Twas true, society had neither top
Ner bottom, fer these identical.
The first of anarchists the trogdolyte,
To wear the big stick first.
The upwardness
Kept busy and it come to pass, they was
Two children horned, with sword within
Its hand and t'other with a hoe. Both was
Consumers, but it is a cranky fact
That only producer, and
The world swings ever 'twixt the two The hoe
Runs from the field hoe up and up, and up
Unto the hoe that dug out Hamlet. Now
The hOeess Teller, he leans the hoe
The other fellers hoe He gifts along
Quite well, thank you
The most importantest
Hoes the hoe that tickles up the sile. 'Thout it
They wouldn' be grub; 'thout grub, you know
We'd lose the hoe itself, and 'thout the hoe
They wouldn't be nothing fer us but to go
Back to the club! The Teller with the hoes
Gods pardner; they work touchin' elbows, and
The angels, they look on, and smile, and wait.
WORDS MEAN NOTHING.
For the maximum of words and the minimum of
information commend us to the title of an act in
PRODUCED in the New Jersey legislature 1t reads
follows "An act to amend act which is sup
Elemental to an act to amend act applying to
courts having criminal jurisdiction" The sample
is typical of many and New Jersey is not the only
offending state. But New Jersey now proposes to
make such absurdities unlawful. A measure has
been drafted requiring the introducer of a bill
to file with it brief setting forth its purpose in
Guiding the of the law, if any, it is designed
to amend. That should help. Anything that con-
tributes greater intelligence in lawmakng is well
come But what is needed more than such
trvances is some method for providing the average
legislator with intelligence or compelling him to
use honestly what little he has.
THE SECRETARYS CIGARETTES.
The legislatures of several states have been
wrestling with anti-tpping laws. Mississippi al
ready has such a law, which is more honored in
the breach than in the observance, very much as
are the anti-cigarette laws of most states which
attempt to regulate personal habits laws Nebraska
has anti-cigarette law but" says writer IN
the Omaha Bee, Il never heard of serious effort
anywhere to enforce it. When Secretary of War
Garrison was here about year ago l was on the
reception committee and as we were coming out
of of the big office budiRgs-not the Bee
building to who were serving as his escort he
seemed suddenly to disappear. l went back and
found the secretary in front of cigar stand.
$" we feared we had lost you, Mr.. Secretary
Oh said he, I just dropped back to buy them
" We'll, then l remarked jOkngly, you have
helped break one of Nebraska's most solemn laws
g 'HoW's that?' quizzically.
e Why I answered, our lawmakers have strict
ly prohibited the sale of cigarettes to man, woman
or child in the state of Nebraska.
q" That explains it, was his retort; I thought the
girl looked at me rather critically when called for
cigarettes, but she reached out the package with
out asking any questions"
That is just one shining example of the results
OF freak legislation
THE OLD HOME TOWN.
Do you remember the lazy fellow who used to
sit around in the implement store and the barber
shops in the old home town and predict the failure
of everybody who tried to poke his nose above the
common herd? Up in the village of Salem they
used to crack lots of Jokes at the expense of
Iank and unganly young fellow who clerked in
the village grocery polnd fiat boats in those days.
He became the president of the United States and
thousands from far places the earth have visited
his tomb at Springfield to do him honor. They
used to make fun of Bill McAdOo back in the home
town. Of course you've heard of Bill. He dug
a tunnel under the Hudson river and is secretary
of the treasury now. But there lot of old
tads back in the old home town who sort of hope
that Bill will fall over something yet and land in
the consomme. And Orville Wright was regular
joke in his old home town. 1t is the old home town
itself that is the joke
FAIR WARNING.
And now, they say, they are going to prohibit
pink lemonade. The psychologists, or whoever it
is that are always discovering that something par
ticuarly dear to hearts is deadly and danger
the bacteriologsts say that it has more germs
than Heinz has pickles. So it must go. WE'LL all
right. But by the great central pole of the uni
verse, warn you scientific ginks right here and
now, don't go shopping around and discovering that
it is unsanitary to feed peanuts to the elephant!
For if you do, and you try to have any laws passed
prohibiting that pinnacle of pastime, the great
American public will rise up on it's hind legs and
hurl the whole horde of you with hideous ruin and
combustion, down to bottomless perdition
IT CAN'T STING.
The editor of Illinois exchange is a public
benefactor and when he dies the people of his
county ought to erect a monument to the honor
of his memory. He has discovered a way to
get rid of mosquitoes. He tells you simply to rub
alum on your face and hands. When the mosquito
takes a bite it FUCKERS his gazoopie it can't
sting. Then it sits down in damp place, tries to
dig the pucker loose catches it's death of cold and
dies of pneumonia