davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

I got off at a small railroad station
in Tennessee to find a crowd in front
of saloon. and as 1 began inquIring
the cause of the excitement young
man of twenty turned and replied:
stranger. l kin tell We all about 1t.
Do you want TO sec the corpse
"ls some one dead
Dead as Il coon track, and it's my
old dad at that
Been row here
Not a bit of it. Dad jest mace II
fule of hisself Hes in thar waitin'
fur cart to take hisself home to be
laid out and buried"
Never seed nuthin' to ekal it in all
my bon days" said man in the
crowd.
/ Il was right yere. or wouldn't
hev staggered to it. no how" added 4
second.
1T was jest this way. stranger"
continued the son as he picked a
whittle at it with a sprrng-back jack
knife. Dad an me comes down yere
this mornin' to buy mewL Dad was
powerful frisky all the way down, and
Ruben. ! kin out-walk. out-run.
Out-shute. out-holler. and out-lick
anythin' on top of this yere airth's
surface and I'll bet our rarm agin a
II sees dad was purity cnucky, ana 1
seq to him. j seq:
Dad yous top of the heap round
yere. and nobody kin deny II, but doan'
you go and meet up with no fight in
town. Yves arter 4 mewl we is, and
we doan' want no fussin' nor nuth-
in
And with that. dad. Jumps TO feet
high and cracks his heels together
and whoops out that he's b'ar-traps.
pizen. powder and catamount. all
dangerous if anybody goes to pick up
his hind foot"
"Yaas. and 7 hears him boiler when
he's mile away" said one of the
IF co'se you did, replied Ruben.
lerin'. He'd hOller a bar out'n a tree
half mile away. When we got down
we're, thar was Teller from Mem
phis with patent liftin. macheen
a-standin right we're. Thar's the
pieces of it agin' this fence, while the
Teller hisseIf is ten miles away and
still runnin'"
But 'twasn't his fault" protested
n man on mule-back.'
swered Ruben. I'm a-sayin' as dad
got mixed up and made a fule of his
self. No sooner had he sot eyes on
the masheen than he cracks his heels
seq to me, seq he:
Ruben. kin pull the hull State of
Tennessee right up by the roots If
kin git brace fur my feet. and
81 tried to shy him off by talkin'
mcwl. but dad was powerful sot in his
ways. and he crows some more and |
hollers out:
"Whoop-whoopee. Lemme get hold
OF them ere handles. and all who
don't want TO tip over when the airth
comes up had better hold on to the
fences, Ruben. stand back and gimme
room"
"Iaas. I heard him say them re-
marks put in one of the crowd.
Sod l." added haH dozen of the
others. Wv
of co'se he sed EN- continued
Ruben-"of co'se. Nobody's denyin'
that he sed EN-. Dad jest fggered on
pullin' most of this yere airth up as
easy as you kin lift the top-crust OF
a pie: He spit Oh his hands. grab
bed them ere handles. and when he
Strengthened up I jest felt the ground
trembling all around
. sod L." called seven or eight voices
in chorus.
Dad had one side of the hull conn
ny lifted up two foot high. when
mere was rip and a smash-then
handles tore out. the masheen flew IN
pieces, and the earth sunk back win
a chugg which made us dizzy"
Then your father had broken a
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18
CASEY, THE COP
He Tells of His Sublime Deed of Heroism.

Mr.. Casey" I asked as I walked be-
side the famous cop on his beat the
other evening. did you ever perform
a sublime deed of heroism?''
81 have been a hero for twenty
years. sir" was his modest reply.
But there are several heroes in the
United States"
Il didn't know it, SIR, but II you
say SO. we'll let it go at that"
What / refer to is a deed so heroic
that the hero might pass into history,
like Napoleon crossing the Alps;
IF the Commissioner had told me
to cross them, sir. it would have been
done or Casey's bones would lie there
bleaching now"
I'm sure of il, I said, but it must
have fallen to you at sometime 10
perform some deed that outranked en-
tering a burning building TO save hu-
man lives"
Let me see-let me see! Why, sir,
now that you have called my atten-
ton to the matter, I can recall case
though there are some painful mem
60 ahead, Mr.. Casey"
You have read of crime waves" he
said as he darted suspicious glance
at a green lamp post. We'll there
was such a wave about Is years ago.
All had been quiet on my beat for
months, when in the twinkling of an
eye, there were four apartment house
next day there were three. No clew.
on the third day there were four
again, making eleven In three days.
They were all daylight robperies, and
The detectives couldn't strike the
trail"
1T must have worried you some?"
was observed.
why, man. I was half crazy. I had
to take in a drunk now and then. but
think of the audacity of ono coming
on Casey's beat and committing eleven
robberies, and in daylight Al that.
couldn't he patrolman and detective
TOO. and | was in a stew when the
commissioner sent for me and said:
Casey. something has got to he
done"
1T has. sir I says
THE detectives don't detect"
They don't sir"
But you. Casey. j have heard of
YOUR running down the shoe clerk
WHO stole pair of shoestrings every
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18
WHO COMES HERE?"

Halt Who comes here"
Friends, with the countersign"
Advance one and give the counter
sign"
1t was the relief going the rounds
to change the pickets. and L was
dropped out at post No. :. We had
fought Lee all day long on the
strangest battlefield OF the whole war
in the Wilderness. From right to
left flank-from front to rear-we
We're hemmed in by forest and thicket
There were swamps in which lizards
and serpents lurked. thickets in which
the coy whIppoorwill built its nest,
dense spots OF forest which seemed
never to have echoed the ring of the
We had fought from .rree to tree.
from thickeI to thicket, from glade to
glade, pushing the grey lines back
here, baltIed and compelled to give
barred the way. Not man in his
whole army whose musket barrel was
not hot that day; Not a man who
the life of the Confederacy.
How the forest shook ana trembIed
as the great guns sent their deadly
missiles crashing through the foliage,
How the thickets blazed up in flame
the severed limbs crashed down-the
sunny Slades turned dark as night
win Inc powder smoke settling down.
The dead outnumbered the bushes; the
wounded walled or cried as | never
heard them before or after. There was
something SO unearthly In fighting a
foe unseen in the semidarkness that
the shouting and cursIng usually
heard in the lines gave place to ST.
lence and pale faces
Darkness had come at last and the
roar of battle had died away to a
low growL Grant had failed to drive
Lee. We knew that from flank to flank
II he could not force passage
through those grey lines he could
flank them. Before the sun went down
we knew that he would do it. 1t
was not yet night when the move
ment began. but my division would
be one of the last to move, and we
must hold our ground ana prevent
the Confederates from discovering
what was taking place. 1t was q Curl
Gus coincidence of war that Lee was
also moving by the flank, both armies
moving in parallel lines from a bat
tlefield which had yielded neither vic
tory nor defeat to either side
Post No. Z was under. large tree
on the edge of a thicEer. To the
south there was stretch of open
ground, then a thicket. then an old
field, in which stood a log cabin. n
was lonely place. we'll away from
the camps. the dead and the dying,
but was glad to he alone. All along
the lines there was growing OF
musketry. but this was but a bluff
a bit OF acting 10 cover the real de-
sign. 1 had been nearly an hour on
the post without anything happening
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18
Mr.. Bowser is not eccentric.

Mr.. Bowser is not eccentric
He is not irresponsible.
He has bought burglar alarms: .
He has invested in nine kinds of
fire escapes.
He has kept cows and pigs and
chickens.
He has bought little less than a car
load of patent cures.
He has. according to his diagnosis.
had every ailment on the list of hu-
All this and a heap more. and yet
he is not far ahead of the average
husband.
good TO HIM. anG he he" ws sasa to o0b bs
helping to shove the old world along.
The other afternoon rs ne sat in
his h -. office a sudden thought made him
two minutes before taking action. He
rushed down stairs-rushed into a
drug store-rushed home.
Mrs; Bowser noted his excited look
and the package under his arm, and
was at the door to exclaim:
IF anything has happened why
didn't you telephone me? What Is
wrong. and what have you got there?
Don't keep me in SUSPENSE
Don't ask me any questions now"
he replied as he dropped his hat on
man in danger.
rs anything ,wrong--are you sick?"
she anxiously demanded.
Don't say word-not a word, and
don't bother me for ten minutes.
hope I'm in time TO avert the DAN
GER
She turned pale and fell into a chair.
and he hurriedly broke the string Sc
curing the package. seized the three
quart bottles which comprised it's COW
tents and rushed upstairs. down the
back stairs. down into the basement
and up again. \ strange, disagreeable
odor followed him as he hustled
around, and by the time he had re-
turned TO the sitting-room Mrs. Bow
ser had recovered sufficiently to ask:
MIR. Bowscr, what on eartn are you
doing and what in the name of good
ness is that stuff"
what have l been DOING Saving
our lives, Mrs. Demonstrating our
lives and every ono under this roof"
But Il didn't know our lives
were in danger"
.'Of course not If the house was on
fire from top to bottom. and the fire.
men pitching our furniture out of the
the fact. but II has never struck you
that death silently turks in every
room in this house"
How you talk. Mr.. Bowser what
has been the danger hanging over
u.s."
Microbes. Mrs. Bowser" he wills
Pered as he sat down and wiped his
millions of EN-"
"It can't be-" she replied
Cant ii! You know nothing what
ever about it. ] do. of course. but |
having SO many other things to at
tend to this one slipped my mind I'M !
til today"
But what causes that terrible
odor?"
Nothing terrible about it. as I see !
On tho contrary rather lik.. it, IL ,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

those birds cantering around through
your system, en-
where do they come from"
Sewer gas. BY this time tomorrow
the house would have swarmed with
them, and nothing on earth could
have saved us from typhoid fever or
diphtheria. If the micrObe was the
only thing to look out for 1 shouldn't
have been SO anxious. but there is
the bacteria"
What's that"
Here is a picture of him. Comes in
the same way. and his mission is to
eat out the lungs. 1t is calculated
that 1000 of them will eat out the
strongest mans lungs in a month"
And they were in this house,
Yes: and ready to be absorbed into
our systems" Not only ready. but
anxious"
You are sure you don't mean cock
reaches" I saw two under the kitche n
sink yesterday. and was going to ask
you to get some powdered borax."
stood up. ARE you growing soft in the
top of your head? Do ] know a Ben
gal tiger from a woodchuck?"
II suppose so.
bacteria from cockroach!" he thun-
dered.
But have never heard you speak
of them before. and 1-1T
do you suppose that l or any
other husband sits down and tells his
wife all he knows" he shouted. Be
cause | haven't told you that jack
rabbits legs have three Joints is that
any reason why l haven't known it
for forty years."
But this is medical science, isn't it?"
she softly protested.
And suppose ii is? Do you sup
pose I've gone sloshing around all
these years with nothing but a recipe
for making soft soap IN my mead:
She was silent, and after striding
M and down the room a few times
he halted before her and continued:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18
The Man with an Opinion

All day long, as the stage rolled
over the plains of Kansas. one of the
passengers, who had the look of a
school teacher, kept giving the rest
of US his opinion of this or that 1t
was his opinion that Kansas was
pushed from the ocean bed; that the
jack-rabbit was descended from the
kangaroo; that the Indian had come
from Peru. and that alkali lands
would grow watermelons from which
brandy could be made. Every ten
minutes he led Off with:
Gentlemen. l don't want to put my
self forward. but it's my opinion"
and SO forth.
The thing got to be tiresome after
had eaten supper at a stage station.
and were waiting for the horses to
be changed. Then he had an opinion
of some distant hills. another on the
of cattle and a fourth on a petriflca-
ton which some one had picked up.
One of the passengers on the front
seat was sis LITTLE man who had hardly
had noticed that he was put out by
the man with an opinion. He had
stood it just as long. as he could. and
when the opinion of the petrification
came he advanced upon the school
teacher and said:
see here. my friend. there's one
thing you nave 1OrROtten To-Day.
Whats that" was awsked.
ITO give your opinion on this"
continued the little man. as he pulled
his gun and touched the Others nose
with the muzzle.
That. my dear sir" replied the
school teacher without n wink, that's
is n species of deadly weapon termed
revolver. II was invented by Colo
mel Colt. I believe
You know what il is for. do your"
II do. sir. 1t is a weapon of offense
and defense. In the hands of a skill
full man it can do great execution"
Have you any opinion as to what
I'm ging to do?"
81 think | have. I think I've made
YOU tired and that you intend to shoot
me rather than hear any more of my
opinions You needn't proceed to ex-
tremes, however. as it is my opinion
that / shan't open my mouth again
until we get to Deadwood."
'Sure you've got through"
81 know / have"
Then there's no call 70 shoot.
II was a. further ride of four hours
to deadwood, and the school teacher
only opened his mouth once to speak.
After two hours of deepest silence he
fished up a flask from his hind pocket
and said:
Gentlemen. l have no opinion on
the subject, but 1 think some of you
are splitting cotton, and this stuff IL
to make 1t easier"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

"Who comes herc?"
! 81 wish it wasn't SO dark! I am so
tired,'
| And then she comes across the open
! strip toward me, making no stop.
never hesitatinE, walking straight up
to me, as IL she could see as well by
night as in the sunshine of day:
Il can't find the place." she sobbed.
as she came to stop within arms
length.
Good God. woman. but what are
you doing here" I gasped, almost ter
rified at her presence.
See! See" she replied. 90. holding q
bundle out toward me. "One time l
saw beautiful spot in the woods. and
bury him there. but l can't find it
can't find it,"
What is it, woman? What have you
got there"
See. See, Don't be afraid! He's
dead. He can't speak or move. Take
him."
She put bundle Into my arms and
1t was the body Of baby about a
year and a half old. Dead? Yes. Deaa
from n cruel Cullet which had pierced
its little body and left a great wound ,nd
dim light. Dead and cold and bathed
in it's own blood-dead for hours. And
when l reached out and touched the
blood.
Il have carried him such a long.
long way. she moaned, and I have
seen so many dead men and nearo
so many guns, You'll heIp me, won't
you-help me to find the place and
bury poor baby?
WAS it your baby? Did you live in
the cabin beyond the thicket?" l ask
ed. still holding the little corpse.
HE was so happy" she said as she
patted the little bare mead with a
motherly hand. And I was SO happy,
too, He won't never laugh and crow
again, will he? I've got TO flnd that
beautiful place and bury him, haven't
1? And you'll help me: yes. I know
you will, for you don't swear and
She had lost her mind. Think of 1t
an insane mother wandering over n
bloody battlefield with her dead child
in her arms, She had but one idea,
to bury Ii in a dell winch she mad
once visited and remarked its beauty
"a dell in which Federal or Confed-
crate were doubtless then burying
their own dead.
knew not what to do. I could not
leave my post and I did not want ner
to go wandering further. was try
ing to soothe and quiet the woman
when she suddenly cried out:
"Ah. it's not 80 dark now and I can
find the place. I'll go on ahead and
dig the grave and you follow on with
the baby. Poor baby! He won't know
that he is buried, will he? I can find
the place and you"
Come back! Come backw I called
to her as she ned away In the dark.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

ii drop right here. Is supper ready
The odor was so strong in the din
ing-room that the butter tasted of il,
and after supper the cook called Mrs
BowSer into the kitchen 70 ask:
rs it going to be like this all the
time"
oh, no. Mr.. Bowser had to kill off
all the microbes and bacteria. you
What's them"
He'll have to come in and explain"
No need of ii. ma'arn, for my bun
die is all made up, and I'm goin', A
man who'll drag dead cats through his
own house would cheat a poor girl out
of her wages at the end of a month.
Microbes and bacteria, Ell" l don't be-
lieve il. Let him show them TO me
up in the Geological Gardens"
When Mrs. Bowser told Mr.. Bowser
what had occurred he bristled up, got
red in the face and exclaimed:
81 see how il is. You couldn't carry
your point with me. and SO you went
out and upset the girl Mrs. Bowser
you are treadInS on dangerous ground.
husband may he a worm, but il
that worm is stepped on too often he
turns"
And he cIapped on his hat and
walked over to his family drug store,
and after peer nG into the window and
seeing that the druggist was alone.
he entered and asked:
Doc. are you protected from mi
croDes and bacteria here?
..Thoroughly." was the reply.
What do you use?"
why, every time you come in and
go out ] sprinkle the floor after you
with catnip tea
Mr.. Bowser turned and went out
into the night and leaned nm against
fence, and in his Utmost soul real
lzed that he was a man with plenty
of bacteria and microbes, but without
4 human friend
And an owl lighted on a nearby
telephone pole and hooted three boots,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

ness, but she was 200 feet away as
she answered me:
I'll find the place! POOR poor
baby"
And when the relief came | told
the story and pointed to the bundle
resting on the ground beside me-
God pity her." whispered the SER
geant as he lifted his cap:
God pity herr" echoed all the others
as they stood uncovered around the
poor little corpse.
Time meant human lives that niEht:
Grant was moving by the flank: Lee
was moving by the flank to match
him. The morrow was to witness more
slaughter-make thousands of other
widows and orphans.
dig here" said the sergeant. and
with our bayonets We scooped out
shallow grave in scarcely more than
minutes time.
Carefully now, Poor little thing!
Now fill in! That will do. God knows
where 1t lies! Fall in-forward.
march"
And yet men write Of the glory Of
Uart
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

an nebber return it. You kin lend
your boss to man who would cheat
you blind in tradin' obercoats. You
kin send home Il par o dead ducks
at noon-day by man who would
steal your live chickens at midnight
when l lend my nayhur Mocha cof-
it back in Rio. When de ole woman
buys kaliker on guarantee she
rather hopes it will fade in de washin.,
Il solemnly believe dat de world
am honest huff. jist as it am. Wher
you gin your word stick to it if it
busts de bank. when you do a job of
work do it well; when you make 4
honest dan dat will want you to cut y
penny in two to make out his shilling:
he will ring you up at midnight to
one shingle from your bunch an offer
you de one-hundredth part of what de
bunch cost: he will borrow your boot
jack an insist dat your borrow his
dashboard to Offset II.
Oar am sartin folks I want to keep
away from. | mean dat class of peo-
pie who groan ober de wickedness Of
de world, an who have heartaches an
sorrows to peddle roun de kentry at
de regular market rates. Oar am do
ole man Turner. He comes ober to
still kase somebody stole his dog or
hit him wild a brickbat, or beat him
out of 15 cents He fully believes
dat de world o3 t,, am Ew ins to smash a.
il would almost kill him to lose his
ole wallet an find a man honest 'nuff
to return it.
DE wilder Plumsen comes ober to
borry some butter fur supper. an she
draps down on a char an heaves a
sigh as big as a barn doah an goes
fsein World cordinr to eg her a ie,, uni an
men am dishonest. all women extrava-
giant. an all children jist ready 10
come down wild de measles. Tears
Ion t,a- al
she had to work an plan while cherry
body else has money to frow inter
Lake Erie. an she wipes her nose on
her apron as she asserts dat dis wick
ed world can't stan mo- dan TO weeks
longer.
Deacon Striper draps in to eat pop
corn wild me on a Friday ebenin'. an
befo he begins to tell what his first
wife died of: how his second wife run
away; how his third broke her leg
s sss for on Doctor, fsnse bi e Ssfo n he
gifts frew you couldn't make him be-
lieve but what de hull world was dead
agin him. He predicts late spring.
a bloody war, an goes home feelin'
dat he am stoppin' on airth only to
somebody.
"I have no sorrow of my own, I've
been robbed. but dat was kase I left
a winder up. I've been swindled. but
dat was kase / thought TO queens
would beat TO- aces: I've bet on I'D, de
cts which didn't draw: I've been sick
unto death. an I've been shot in de
back wild hull brickyard. but do
psthy. DE world am plenty good
nun fur de class of people Twin in 1t.
Honest men am not lonesome fur com
bs spp a at De 5snitor viii now
open 70 winders an We viii purcssd
to bixnesa"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

! to alarm me. when I heard a person
moving in the thicket across the open
strip.
Was it person? Riderless horses
had galloped that day almost without
number This might be one which
had found shelter in that thicket!
Hustle. Rustic! step, Step! 1t was
, Z cautious movement. Whoever 1t was
hoped to reach me without discovery.
but there were dead leaves underfoot
and the thicket was dense. A hare
could not have moved without betray
ing it's presence
Rustic, Rustic!
Kneeliny down to see under the
darkness. as it were. I suddenly made
out a black object against the dark
background. 1t is neither horse nor
mule; 1t is Il human being. A scout
from the enemy's picket post. only a
quarter of a mile away. A wounded
man hobbling about to find succor?
One of our scouts returning?
who comes here"
There is silence for fifteen seconds.
and then a woEGan'S voice answers:
II can't find the place! It's SO dark
| can't find the placei"
Aye, 1t was woman'S voice, and
it had sob in IT. too. A woman there
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18
He Gave an Order.

A drummer for a New York grocery
house took shelter from a thunderstorm.
er in a small grocery kept by colored
man in the suburbs of Nashville. and
pretty soon the proprietor asked:
Was yo' stranger around yerc
sah?'
81 represent this house." replied the
drummer as he handed out one of his
cards.
II see. Does yo' own de bizness yo'-
self?''
"Oh, no."
Was yo' de senior pawdner?"
DE tunior?'
mo"
Was yo' backin' de concern wild yo'
capital?"
mo"
Just sent out to take orders?''
That's all. Perhaps l can take an
order from your
Wall. sab. IL dat house has dun sent
yo' clean down here to get an order
from me amt gwine ter be mean about
IT. Put me down fur TO- pounds of
brown sugar. an draw on me arter sixty
days fur de BILL"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-04-18

day for 432 days. The cleverest head
quarter talent couldn't trip him up.
but you did it,
Put it was luck, sir"
'r'asey. there is such thing as
being too modest. You are going to
catch that robber. for we know that
bnries. You will be relieved from pa
troll duty, get into a disguise and
bring me the criminal within week"
iii do it or perish, sir, / says as
| turns and walks away"
And what was your first novel,
was asked.
To go home and sleep for a night
and a day without Il break. That's
The reason such poor work is done
by the police. They don't get sleep
enough. a patrolman may cat-nap