The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1915-12-31
OLD HICKORY CHIPS

This is along with other things the
weddingest administration.
President Wilson continues to use
a superior quality of English and much
horse sense in his messages.
Congress ought to conclude at once
that it is too busy to play politics
How sharper than a serpent's tooth
is to have thankless Boyd.
Another humorous feature Of the
political situation is Colonel Roosevelt
cordially agreeing that creatures must
be crushed out.
A Chicago man got ten years for
abducting girl, which as far as we
know is the maximum penalty ever
inflicted for stealing chicken,
Another pathetic incident of every
day life, is the way the London editors
discover every month that Germany
has reached her high-water mark.
Recommendations to press fight
on Wilson," says headline. Go right
ahead, Herren! Some 14,009,000
American Americans will have some
thing to say at the polls themselves
as we'll as 100000 hyphenated.
If Villa has really lost his mind,
we hope nobody will ever find it.
The "hyphen" appears to be trying
to make the ship of state into a
schooner.
All the German offenses' are not
consigned to Germany" by long
shot.
Europe isn't so interested in show
long" Ford will spend there, as chow
much"
There is strong hope for the Pres
ident's defense program. Hearst
hasn't Endorsed it.
The war theatre won't present any
new terror to the Fordsters, most Of
them being married.
What is one mans Christmas is an
other mans bankruptcy.
Hon. Mikado apparently forgets
that China is to be handled with care.
At any rate whatever China decides
to do or be, it is evident that Yuan
Shih-Kai is going to have good job.
Ben Franklin missed it by not liv-
ing in an era of enlightenment when
his maxims could be hung up as mot
toes on the living room wall.
Another thing for which Col. Roos-
evelt might reprimand the President
is the Presidents contumacious obsti-
nancy in refusing to bark back.
If the South Americans are to be
taken into partnership by the United
States they should furnish little pre-
paredness capital themselves.
Mr. Bryan's protestations of
friendship for President Wilson do
not temper Mr.. Bryan's swats.
Winter may yet prove a star of
JlllS year IOul SGdoOllos
Having no foreign war on, China
stages little rebellion of its own.
Sluggers of all descriptions would
greatly adorn any practicable rock
pile.
Greece's idea of 4 stolen base seems
to be Salonica.
We trust the fresh attaches Ger
many sends us won't be too fresh.
Yuan may find out too late that in
playing the king, he played the deuce.
Some joker must have been assur-
ed Marse Henry, that the Kaiser
doesn't like juleps.
Speaking of the superfuous infor-
nation, London reports that the
Irish troops fought particularly we'll.
Next thing we know Berlin will be
announcing that Germany has enough
light and air to last for many years.
Lord Derby's recruiting campaign
has so impressed the Englshmen that
Maybe Kitchener won't have to.
Vorwaerts the German Socialist pa
per, has been suppressed again, and
the first thing the Cologne gazette
knows it'll be getting in bad odor.
A good memory is great asset.
But why does it so often persist on
dwelling on the fool things a fellow
has done?
It's funny thing how, as soon as
Teuton submarine kills some Amer
lean citizen, it promptly gets Cost
somewhere?
When woman hires new serv-
ant she always hopes she'll have in
teresting gossip about the people she
worked for before.
1t takes all kinds of NUTS to make
a world including the one who wants
to bet you he can swallow half-a-pint
Of liquor in one drink