davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
SHOULD NOT
HAVE MOVED
Story of a Man Who Was Max
ing Good, but Rowing Fever
Got the Best Of Him.

On May 4th, 1915, the ST. Paul Farm
er's Dispatch contained a very inter
esting account of the experiences Of
man from Staples, MINI. Realizing
that he was not making much head
way, he decided to look up home
stead IN Canada. With $3.50 he and
his wife took up q homestead near
Outlook, Saskatchewan. After recount
ing his experiences of q few years, in
which they had undergone hardships
which we're likely to be unavoidable,
with small amount Of capital, he
continues the gtory by stating that
in the fall after fair summers work
on his 100 acres cropped, he cleaned
up nearly all his debts, having now
four good horses, a complete set Of
farm machinery including two wagons
and a Swell" top buggy and eleven
head Of cattle. He continues, How
ever, was not satisfied I had been
reading of the splendid homesteads
that we're TO be had in Montana.
Wheat was cheap and I thought it
would get cheaper, so I began to think
that demonstrating as a moneymaking
proposition was better than farming.
did not stop to consider that wheat
was not the only thing; as a matter
Of fact I had sold pork for IA cents
pound Eggs and butter had kept US
In groceries and more, we had now
four mich COWS, two heifers coming in
and more growing up. We had a cream
separator, and some hogs. We had a
quarter section Of land that could
raise an abundance of small grain,
roots and grass for feed, but I could
not see all that; I had the moving
fever, and decided to sell.
set the price on the land at 5000
cash I could not find anyone with
that much money, however, so I came
down until I finally sold for $1,4OO.
We had an auction and sold the per-
sonal property. On the sale we got
just about enough cash to pay the auc-
tioneer; the rest was all notes.
The horses brought about two-thirds
what they we're worth. The imple-
ments sold for hardly one-third of
what they had cost. The cattle
brought a good price.
Must Make Another Start.
We now have a homestead In Mon
tana, but we find that after moving
here and getting settled, what money
We had did not go far. We have three
horses, about all the implements we
need and a little better buildings
than we had on our former place. We
have no cattle, though we had to build
much fence to keep ranch stock out
Of our fields. We have about $500
worth Of honest debts.
True, we have a half section in
place Of a quarter, but that is no good
to u.s. as long as we have not the
capital with which TO work it.
IN summarizing it all up see where
] made my mistake 1t will take fully
five years to get into as good circum-
stances as we were before we made
the change. It is five years lost.
My advice to anyone contemplate
ing a change of location is to think
twice before you act, and If your pres
ent circumstances are not too bad
stay by your bush till you pick It
clean Advertisement.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
One Trey Anpreclated.

That last thing you sent in was
good" said the editor; I'VE all en-
joyed reading it very much"
We'll. in that case" said the youth
full poet, Il take back what / said in
the letter ! wrote to you yesterday
about my determination never to send
you any of my work again"
The editor slowly shook his head.
Don't do that" he murmured; why,
that letter, is what 1 referred toll
Stray Stories.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Qdz4H HR1 Il e
81 az Y SWNlLE2v " "
AN EFFECTIVE scAREcRoW.
An American tourist had been boast

An American tourist had been boast
ing again in the village inn.
Talking Of scarecrows," he said,
with a drawl, why, my father once
put one up and it frightened the crows
so much that no one entered the
field again for year"
He looked triumphantly around his
audience. Surely that had settled
those country pumpkins.
But he was to meet his match.
That's nothing" retorted one farm
er. "A neighbor O. mine once put a
scarecrow into his potato patch and
it terrified the birds so much that one
rascal Of a crow who had stolen some
potatoes came next day and put them
back. "-Pearson's Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
TENDER SENSITIVE SKINS
Quickly Soothed by cuticura. Moth.
ing Setter. Trial Free.

Especially when preceded by a hot
bath with Cuticura Soap. Many com.
forting things these fragrant super
creamy emollients may do for the
skin, scalp, hair and hands and do it
quickly, effectively and economically.
Also for the toilet, bath and nursery.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard. Cuticura, Dept. KY,
Boston. Sold everywhere-Adv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Not Acquainted With Adam.

In his interesting book of memo
ries, Sixty years in the Wilderness, -
Sir Henry Lucy has an amusing story
about Sir Francis Burnard. Sir Henry
and Sir Francis were talking togeth-
er at big public function when very
i-1portant-looking guest, arrayed in
a brilliant uniform, came up and effu-
sively shook hands with Burnand, who
appeared surprised at the act.
Il see you don't know me from
Adam" said the stranger.
My dear sir" answered Burnand
gravely, Il didn't know Adam"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

fuse absolutely to use any grain for
seed that contains it. AS soon as the
fall work is we'll out of the way get
the tanning mill in working order
and clean the seed grain so well that
there is no weed seed of any kind in
it. With oats and barley the work
must be done particularly well, since
quack seed resembles these to a GER
tain extent, although it is much
smaller. Buy your seed grain and
grass seed early, and be absolutely
sure that you get no quack seed in
either.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
TO ERADICATE QUACK GRASS
First Thing Is to Know Seed and
Then Refuse TO Use Any Grain for
Seed That Contains IL.

AS a usual thing, quack grass does
not mature it's seed in hay or in win
ter grain crops, since they are cut too
early, but in hay that is left standing
for seed and in spring grains it does
become mature, and is carried from
field to field or from farm to farm by
the threshing machine, in manure, in
hay and straw or in seed grain or
grass seed.
The first thing to do is to learn to
know quack grass seed and then re-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
T eeth for Practice,

My son wants to become a dentist,
observed South side man to his
neighbor; where do you s'pose he
could get some teeth to practice
on?"
Send him over to my house said
his neighbor, and let him have
couple of old rip saws. youngstown
Telegram.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
SjVind Hons Medicine

To give hog medicine against his
will, take an old shoe and cut some
Sits in the toe OF it. Put the shoe in
the porker's mouth. He will chew at
it and while he is doing this pour in
your medicine and the hog will drink
il down A trick worth knowing-if
one knows what ails the pig
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
The Profitable WAY.

All farmers and poultrymen should
adhere strictly TO the following rules
in handling their poultry and eggs:
/ Keep the nests clean; provide
one nest for every four hens.
2 Gather eggs twice daily.
8 Keep the eggs in a cool, dry
room, or cellar.
/, Market the eggs at least twice a
week
5 Sell, kill or confne all male
birds as soon as the Matching season
is over.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
DISEASES OF POTATO
Results of Experiments Conduct
ed at Cornell Station.
Amount of Scab Reduced by Sulphur
Treatment of the Soil Before
PIanting-TroubIe in No Case
Entirely Eliminated.

The results Of a series Of expert
ments conducted by the New York
Cornell station to determine the value
Of sulphur for preventing potato scab
and its effect on the subsequent crop
and on it's possible fertilizing value,
are shown in a report received BY the
department of agriculture.
1t was found that sulphur treatment
Of the soil against potato scab, when
applied at the rate Of from $50 TO 900
pounds per acre, sown broadcast and
thoroughly mixed with about two
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Something Unusual.

You can't always judge a man by
his clothes, remarked the moralizer.
That's right" rejoined the demon
alizer. Why, l know millionaire
merchant in Chicago who actually
dresses as well as one of his s10-a-
week clerks"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Hot Old lime,

AT this point" said the narrator,
who was describing a domestic storm
scene, my wife broke down and wept
scalding tears.
My goodness" exclaimed his one
man audience, she must have been
boiling over with rage"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
PROFITABLE AS "SIDE LINE"
To Raise Few Nice Sheep One Should
Have Good Stock, Pastures and
Buildings for Animals.

A profitable side line of farming is
to raise a few nice sheep every. year
for men who are willing to pay a bit
extra for the sake Of improving their
stock. To do this, one should have
good stock and good pastures and good
barns, as well as a good man to care
for them.
In disposing of such stock be fair
about it. 4 reasonable profit is all
right. If you try to overdo the matter
you will break down, and be driver
out of the business.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
IN SUCH PAIN
WOMAN CRIED
Suffered Everything Until Re-
stored to Health by Lydia
E Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound.
Florence, So. Dakota "I used to be
very sick every month with bearing

p aims and
bscksche, sn d b q q
b cad ch e s good
deal of the time and
very little appetite.
The pains were SO
bad that I used to
sit right down on the
floor and cry, be-
cause it hurt me so
and I could not do
any work at those
times. An old wo-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
SCGklCs
No. Deep Scab.
No. 3-Surface Scab.

pounds per acre it seemed to be more
or less injurious to the crop. AS
rule the effect of sulphur treatment
on the potato crop in the succeeding
season is that of reducing yield and
scab, the scab being reduced more
than the yield.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Maxine No Mistake,

He was an urchin of the streets, but
did not lack wits.
One day he saw a well-dresseG
woman with a benevolent face coming
along At once he dropped in a mis-
cradle heap on the curbstone and be-
gan to sob pathetically.
The kind lady paused beside him.
What are you crying for, my boy?"
she asked, gently.
Sitting his sobs with ease, the
youngster looked UP and replied:
Dunno. What have you gOt?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
No RISING There,

Recent Graduate Ito the man be-
hind the desk)-What's the chances
for a young fellow beginning at the
bottom and working up?
Man at the Desk-Poor. We're con
tractors for digging wells.-Nebrask
AWgwan.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Snma Sneed

Joy Rider quilting up at wayside
tnn)-What place is this?
Proprietor = Woodlesburg, New
Hampshire.
Joy Rider turning to the other oc-
cupants of the carl win the money,
boys! I came the nearest to it by
three states.-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Why not?
A LambIike Lion.

We'll, did you have that social lion
at your reception that you we're telling
me about?"
"Oh, yes. He was there"
And did he roar?"
no. His wife was also present and
he could only bleat."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
No Help Then.

Hints on courtship abound. Every
magazine will tell you how to win a
wife Anybody will gladly post you on
the etiquette Of love-making."
What's in your mind?"
But after a man marries he has to
shift completely for himself. Pitts
burgh Post.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
On. IN the Pill comoounder

81 always cure my own hams" re
marked a prominent physician at a
banquet the other evening.
''If that is the case, DOCTOR rejoined
a lawyer who was present, I'D rather
be one of your hams than one of your
patients"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Broken ECO Under Hen

If an egg gets broken in the nest
of a setting hen the other eggs should
be washed with warm water and the
nest made fresh. The broken egg
will close the pores in the shells Of
the others, excluding the air and keep
them from Matching.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Domestic Strategy,

Mrs. Exe-That last cook I had was
awful; I'm glad she's gone.
Mrs. Wye-Did you discharge her?
Mrs. Exe-No; wished to avoid a
scene. What l did was to f1atter her
so about her cooking that she thought
she was underpaid and left.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Suspicious Nature.

so you don't care for poetry?"
Il admire it, replied Miss Cayenne.
But I can't help thinking that it's
dangerous to attach much Importance
to language that is selected because
the words rhyme instead of for the
purpose of communicating facts"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Vigorous Stock for BREEDING

A recent publication from Cornell
university shows the Importance Of
breeding from vigorous stock Chicks
Matched at the same time showed a
great difference in vigor. hardness
and health, and the object lesson is
one not to be overlooked.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
A LEADING Question.

Sir" said the young man, Il wish
to marry your daughter-the flower
of your family
Are you sure" queried the elder
man, that it is not dough you are
after?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
HARMONY.

I'm going to select new uniforms
for my baseball team" said the mana
ger. Can you suggest anything?"
How about caps of green billiard
cloth to match their ivory domes?"
said the disguised rooter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Paw Knew the Answer.

Little Lemuel-Say, paw, what is
the meaning Of commercial actiy-
ity?"
Paw-Borrowing five dollars a week,
son, and lodging the lender for yea-.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
A Bachelor

That chap says he would rather
fight than eat"
Then why doesn't he prove it?"
You mean go to Europe and fght?"
Il mean remain here and marry"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Imnortant.

Anything important in the paper
this morning."
Yes. indeed. I see it has a de-
scription of the gown I wore at the
ball last night Free Press
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
In One Event

do you think it is a sign of bad
luck to open an umbrella in the
house?"
1T is if tha owner is around and
sees his name in it.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Always Looking for 1t.

That manager certainly carries
his professional feelings too far"
How 500"
Il told him I wanted him to come to
a little supper where I would play the
host, and he Immediately asked me If
there was any punch in it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
A Strenuous Nudue.

Anyway" remarked young De-
Enobbs, 81 claim to be a gentleman"
One may claim anything" rejoined
Miss Caustique, $50 long as one is not
called to prove it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Twas Ever Thus.

The One-What a lovely dress! And
such a perfect fit, too!
The Other-Yes; but it is nothing
to the fit my husband will have when
he sees the bill.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
The RfrH& Mar

"Jin2s says he is very thorough
that he always goes to the bottom in
anything he undertakes"
Then he's just the one to under
take TO meet a submarine"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Perhaps True.

He-The artists whose paintings
show that angels are all women, GER
tainly didn't know women.
She-That is perhaps true. 1t may
be that they only knew men.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
A Valid Objection.

Don't let a pretty woman like that
go out as a missionary to the Canni-
bal islands"
Why not?"
The saVages would see in min
ute she is sweet enough to eat"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
ParadoxicaI Energy

People who speak English do
funny things, don't they?'
How SOP"
why. they put stops on organs to
make them 60"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Rather Spiteful,

Mrs. Crawford-Has she really as
good memory as she claims?
Mrs. BRADSHAW - Only for certain
things. She can remember if one has
had certain hat made over or skirt
turned-Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

Little Lemuel-Say, paw, when a
man fails in business, what is meant
by his liabilities?
Paw-The sum for which his credi-
tors get left, my son.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

willis wife is such a trifing sort
Of woman. She never puts anything
through"
"Oh, yes, she does. She puts her
hand through Wills pockets all night"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Still Modest

Il hear VIII links has a swelled
head"
"DreadfuIly So"
so conceited?"
No; humps"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

Have ordered Ahen Foot-Esse. the aHaseptle
Shaken into the shoes or dissolved in the foot
bath, Aliens Foot gives refreshing rest and
comfort and prevents the feet getting tired or
foot-sore; Try it TO-DAY. Don't accept any sub
pie. address. Allen S. Clmsted, Leroy. N. Y-hdv.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Real Helpmates,

Btggs-Our forefathers had wives
that were of some account. They
would do everything from the family
sewing to driving oxen.
Boggs-Yes, they hemmed and
hawed, as it were.-Christian Regis
ter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Its Status.

DO many travellers come to that
city which was fooded?"
AT present, I may say its entire
popu' zion is more or less a floating
one"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
A Sad Thounht.

These incubators make me feel bad
for the poor little chickens who have
no mothers care. They are really
melancholy"
Perhaps; they're brooders.''
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
His Demand.

That pugilist in his demands is
paradoxical."
How SOP"
He says he wants a square deal
on each round"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Profit in Waste Places

There are many rough hillsides and
PASTURES which are now bringing no
returns that could be made profitable.
were they planted to nut trees. espe-
cially waluuts.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Knockers.

No man can knock you on the sly
And do so with impunity;
The only knocker who gets by
Is known as Opportunity.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Difference OF Opinion.

He-You are the idol of my heart.
She-That's all right; but / don't
intend to have any idle business in
this family.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
TREATING Animals for verrfr

When treating cattle Or other do
nestle animS&> for lice, bear in mind
that it is just as necessary TO clean
up and disinfect the stables as TO treat
the affected animals.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

Il can give you a few wrinkles
about keeping young"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
The Cause of Il.

Our new maid has a blackened
character"
You don't tell mel"
Her last employer split the ink
over it"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

If woman is young and thin she
is slender. If she is old and thin she
is skinny"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Drink Denison's Coffee,
For your health's sake.

Montclair, N. j., has school for
domestic servants.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Always in Evidence.

Baseball presents a curious claim
To thOught-nO one can doubt il.
When you're not looking at a game
You're hearing talk about 1t.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Whit CalIIiHnuer

To get white caulifower tie the
leaves over the head as soon as the
head is formed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
important to Mothers
SUNDAY Fishermen.

Little boy, don't you know this is
the day of rest?''
I'VE amt tired, mister Life.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

There is a czarina in nearly every
home.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Danc.rous Habit.

Carelessness is more dangerous than
disease in the poultry yard.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Drink Denison's Coffee,
For your health's sake.

4 wife is very dear to the ex-bach-
elor who formerly saved his money
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

Wonder why it is so easy for a
woman to love man who is unworthy
of her?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
A Mistake.

A Mistake.
They proved in court that fellow
on trial was a paranoic."
"'Tain't so; he's a plumber"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
Perce ption.

q knew that man was q carpenter
after ! had conversed with him a little
while"
How did you know it?'
From his plane talk"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29
PHYSICALLY ImnossihIe

Physically Impossible.
Can you square that policeman ?"
"Of course not. Don't you see he
is a round sergeant"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-07-29

An orator is willing to raise his
voice if his audience raises the cash.