The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1915-12-02
Damon and Pythias
How Two Old Bum. Worked
a Crowd.
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1915, by Mcclure News
paper Syndicate.

Just after breakfast the other morn
mg an old bum made his way from the
street to an empty bench in one of the
wasn't a vag. He wasn't hobo.
There was no name to fit him except
bum"
Soon younger bum came sneaking
across the park and sat down on the
other end of the bench. He also gazed
into vacancy. He also heaved deep
sigh. They had not even looked at
each other when the old bum num-
bled:
ibid you git anything?"
mot red. was giving the old gent
fine song and dance about my dying
wife when Il cop appeared and shook
me till my teeth ratified"
There's an old gent coming this
way" said the big bum. He looks like
an Uncle RUDE walking out to see the
sights of the city. Let's work the old
gag on him."
Whereupon the big bum whirled half
around so as to stretch out on his back
and lay his head in the lap of the
younger one and close his eyes.
Yes, Uncle RUDE had come to town
the day before. He had put up at a
hotel near the park and was out at an
early hour to see If the town had grown
any since his last visit of twenty years
ago. As his walk brought him near the
buns his curiosity was excited. Here
was case that demanded investiga-
ton, and Uncle Rube advanced and
called out:
Say, now. but what's the matter
here:"
"Sick," was the answer.
"Sick, eh? What kind of sickness?"
"Weak heart. 1t allus goes back on
three or four days."
Good Lord! But you don't tell me
that's the case now?"
Damon, how long is it since you
had meal?' tenderly asked the little
bum as he bent over the head on his
knees.
"Mebbe week." was the faint reply.
Il can't believe it," said Uncle Rube.
Nothing to eat for week right here
in this big town, where they throw
away enough every day to feed a hun
dred hogs. What's his name:"
His name is Damon and mine Ia
Pythias. We are comrades. You've
read about Damon and Pythias of old,
haven't you:"
II guess have" replied Uncle Rube,
with doubtful look, but I've forgot
ten. But what are we going to do
about this case:''
you are Il good man." said Pythias,
'but you have come too late. Damon.
he has come too late, hasn't he:"
II think he has. Pythias, but mebbe
there is just one chance yet. If could
sit down to full meal once more
think my life could be saved; other
wise there is no hope for me.''
Does he think that food will save
him." anxiously asked Uncle Rube.
At this moment half a dozen men
crossing the park stopped to inquire
what had happened. and Pythias an
swered their questions by saying:
Poor Damon's heart has given out
on him at last
"Neighbors. the case is this added
Uncle Rube. with flourish of his arm.
"This here dying man has been with
out food in your midst for hull week
while YOU have been trotting around
with loaded stomachs."
More men came up until the crowd
numbered thirty or forty. Most Of
them took a look at Damon. whose
hands were clinched and eyeballs turn
ed up. and then smiled at each other
1t was an old gag, and many of them
had seen it worked before.
Uncle Rube took q dollar bill from
his pocket and dropped it In his hat
and passed the hat around among the
crowd, saying:
IF ever met with a worthy cause.
this is the one Of all. l should be
ashamed to go home and face Hannah
If that man died on the bench with me
looking on. You look like men with
hearts. Come down.!
There wasn't man in that crowd of
fifty who didn't believe he was being
gulled. but they were q good natured
lot, and almost every one contributed
from dime to quarter. The change
was wrapped in the bill and the whole
handed over to Pythias. who said:
Gentlemen, you have done merci-
full act. and l thank you, and Damon
thanks you. And you thank these gen.
tlemen. don't you, Damon?"
II do
"And you will never forget this no.
bic hearted old man who has spoken
SO we'll of u.s."
Never. Pythias. never!'
"And you have resolved to live on,
Damon?
II have!'
DO you hear that. gentlemen" said
Uncle Rube as smile came to his
face and the moisture to his eyes,
"They are both going to live on and
lead nObler and purer lives. feel like
giving three cheers!'
But before he could give them Pyth-
las stood up and interrupted with:
"And it only remains. gentlemen-it
only remains to-
s,s