The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-04-07

The worst thing preacher can say
of you when you lie in your coffin"
yelled Billy 'is, he had no enemies
Why. Lord God. II you haven't enemies
you're carbuncie on the neck OF the
body polite" tLauehtcr.l You can SIT
In stin backed pew and / tell YOU
that you can slide TO he'll as quick along
"A church pew as IN booze Joint II
people are not living the way you say
YOU are living, 20 and get EN-. 80 get
the drunkards on the water wagon. you
NUTS
You can go to church or to mass
every day and you won't be saved 8:
YOU don't live right" said Billy as
he waded into stormy TRADE against
the doctrine Of salvation by charac-
ter" which is displayed In posters at
the local headquarters OF the Unita-
, rians, two blocks from the Tabernacle.
And for some time then Billy repeated
these sentiments about as he delivered
them In mis- sermon Of Easter after
noon.
We've got lot OF fools and NUTS
around us trying to lead us TO hell. %
shouted Billy after deciding the Uni
tartan motto Of character % salvation.
Yes" he screamed in his loudest out.
burs; OF the afternoon let EN- all 20
, to hell"
When I started 20 preach. | said
10 Christ Lord this bunch I'm Foing
up against is all from Missouri! It's up
to me TO show them, Lord
so | got down the Encyclopedia Bri-
tannca and Webstor's Dictionary and
dug out "A lot of words and sentences for
my sermon that would make the jawbone
of Greek professor squeak for a week
II lie tried to pronounce 'em. But that
sermon was like the firccracker a boy
busts open before he lights II. II didn't
get anything. II was only sizze-
80 one day." went on Billy as ne
started in on his pet sentence, II got out
the old gospel gun. loaded her up with
rocksalt, dynamite. ipecac, sour butter
milk and horseshoe nails and pulled the
trigger, and the gang has been hunting
its hole and the feathers have been
flying ever since. tGeneral happiness.
our daughter Helen-Ma and / have
three sons and one daughter-Helen.
when she was in grade school in Chi
cago-she's graduated from a university
now-Helen-say, Ma, how old IL Helen
| now anyway"
Billy turned with a grin 20 Ma, Ma
didn't give Helen's age away, however
| Billy always turns with "A grin TO Ma In
this part OF his talk about his daughter
and asks. Ma. how old is Helen now
Mas answer, Those anxious TO know
the answer, however. may be told her,
that Helen Is still down among the bes
part OF her twenties.
Billy told his usual story here OF tn,
efforts of the little girl Helen 10 detaii
him when she learned on the celebrated
occasion that he was about TO go ava.
on an evangeistic trip.
"Oh, I've got to go and preach, Helen,
Billy quoted himself az saying to tn
little girl, 80 I'll make house rent. foo,
and clothes and things. And II yo
won't cry about my going III go RICH
down TO Carson, Prize a. SCOTS ,thi
was some place out in the middle West
and buy you some sllk-some Paterso
silk for "A new dress. Applause fror
Paterson.I And Ma made the dress u
and when Helen got through with
we gave II 10 a little girl IN the ale
and she wore It TIL II looked like
, battle flag"
When Billy had finished that stor
he started I'm again sarcastically upo
the folks who decry excitement an
sensationaism' in religious propaganda
He walked up and down with exagger
ated steps and burlesqued in mincin
and affectedly effeminate tones the wal
and talk OF this class OF his critics.