South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-06
Statesmen Real
and Near.
By Fred c Kelly

WASHINGTON. March 6.-Sec'y
Franklin X Lane of the department
of the interior. keeps a full outfit of
evening clothes in his office. The
reason is that he is one Of our most
popular diners-out, but has never
been able 10 apply banking hours 10
his job. He rarely leaves his office
until $50 or in the evening. When
he does leave, the chances are that
he will have on his half-after-six garb,
for he dimes out oftener than he does
at home. Awhile ago somebody about
the office kept track and Lane was a
dinner guest in Washington &c times
within a month.
One reason why Lane is constantly
besieged by friends TO come and eat
their food is the fact that he is for
ever in good humOr, and has never
been known TO run out of good
stories. A few nights ago Lane told
a story that made a big hit. In con-
densed form this is it:
A southern lawyer was never good
at remembering names, and so when
he made a speech he always jOtted
down any names he might want to
use on a small calling card and held
it concealed in his palm. He had TO
make a speech one day at the funeral
or a prominent member of the local
bar
"I feel certain" he said in the
course OF his remarks. that if our
friend had been granted the same op-
portunities he would have been
recognized as one of the great orators
Of the nation, and would have occu-
pied a place second not even to that
great pleader' consulting his memo
Tandum-"Daniel Webster.
And not only that, but in his
qualities Of real craftsmanship he had
few equals and no superiOrs. He had
many rare traits in common with that
beloved and martyred president
again looking at his little card
Abraham Lincoln.
But our friend stands now at the
final court. where his good deeds Will
lie weighed by that final judge of us
all / refer, of course, tO-er once
more looking at his notes-"Almighty
God"
Sen. MARITIME OF New Jersey speaks
with a deep-down voice like an echo
from a hollow. Sen. John Sharp Will
liams, on the other hand, has
strange draw that borders almost
upon a whine. One afternoon these
two senators began 10 tWlt one an
other about their voices.
Said MARITIME to Williams: John,
when you speak it seems like child
crying in the Wilderness good deal,
/ imagine, like Moses when he was
found by Pharaoh's daughter"
Whereupon Williams retOrted:
Anyhow, / haven't got one of those
sepulchral voices like "a well-digger.
When you talk it always makes me
think of a voice from the grave"
Within an hour after that Sen. Will
liams overheard Sen. Lewis telling
somebody that he had half notion TO
cut off his famous whiskers.
II suppose" suggested John Sharp,
that you'll get a taxidermist to
mount them for you"
BY employing "a guide at Srihing
cost one may learn a great many
entirely unexpected facts concerning
the national capitol building. For
instance, the other day we heard a
guide standing beneath the great
dome describing the paintings around
the wall.
These pictures" said he, We're
done by man named Trumbul. lie
was a contemporary of most OF the
people in the pictures, and knew them
nearly all personally"
And the painter must have had a
wide acquaintance, for the pictures
ran all the way from such people as
Christopher Columbus and Poscahon-
tas on down 10 George Washington.
Copyright. 1915, by Fred c. KellyO