The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-04-13
German Medical Science Was Founded By Quacks

While the Teutons are often de- scribed as a stolid and unirnaginative people, the scientists of Germany have long been noted for their origi- nality of thought. which has often led them into grave error by permitting imagination to outstrip reason. The medical m 1en of Germany rank high. in the profession. and in many branches of the healing art they are leaders, but, more than any other nationality, they have often permitted their en- thusiasm to get the better of their ljud dgmenf The Koch and Friedman tuberculosis remedies are but two among thousands of widely heralded but now discredited ''cures' which Teuton medical men have offered for the relief of suffering humanity.
 German medical science n4ay be said to have been founded by the quaeks of former centuries, for, while quackery has always flourished in all countries Germany was long the leader in turning out practitioners of this dubious profession. They were often men of imagination, akin to, genius and they travelled all over Europe. A majority of the celebrat- ed quaeks xof England were Germans. and their methods of advertising their cures were very similar to those of the Indian medicine men, who still flourish in the rural dis ytricts of America,
 A burlesque of these mountebank doctors entitled esWatho Von CIatur- bank. High German Doctor" was produced by Joe Haines, the famous English actor and enjoyed a great popularity. The stage setting showed the doctor on 9 stage, with a harle- quin and a man blowing a. trumpet to attract the crowd. When the the mountebank introduces himself in language which might be adopted by the medical quack of the. present as "a high German doctor, chynnist, and dentifracator, native of Arabia, Deserta, citizen and burgomaster of the city of Bran ndipoIis, seventh son of a seventh Son. unborn doctor of above sixty years experience 2
 Having studied over GaIen, HYpocrates. A1bumazar, and ParaceI- of the age,s' modestIy confessed the quack: having been educated at weIve universities, and travelled through fifty-two kingdoms, and been counsellor to the counsellors of sew eral snonarchs. By the earnest prayers of several lords, earls, dukes, and honorable personages, I have been at last prevailed upon to oblige the world with this notice. That all persons, young and old, blind Or lame deaf OF dumb, curab1e or incurab1e, may know where4toi repair for. cure, in all cephalalgias, para1ytic paroxysnas, palpitations of the peri cardium, enpyemas, syncopes. and nasieties; arising either from a, pIethory or a eachochyny. veryigin- ous vapors, hydrocephalous dysen- teries, odontalgic, or podagrica1 in flammations. and the entire legion of letniferous distenpers.
 'HThis is natures palladium, health's magazines and it works seven manner of ways, as nature requires, for it scorns to be confined to any particular mode of operation; so that it effecteth the cure either hypnotical- ly. hydrotically,e catharticalIy, pop dramatically, pneumatically, or syne- dFochfally; it mundifies the hypo- gastriurn, extingu1shes all supernat- uraI fermentations and ebu1litions, and, in fine, annihilates all nosotro- phical morbific ideas of the whole corporeal compages. A 1rachm of it is worth a bushel of March dust; for, if a, man chance to have his brains beat out, or his head cut off, two drops of it--I say two drops, gentle men n!-seasonably applied will recall the fIeeting spirits, re-enthrone the deposed areheus, cem eI1t: the discon- continuity of the parts, and in six minutes restore the lifeless trunk to all it's pristine functions, vital, nat ural. and animal; so that this, believe me, gentlemen, is the only sovereign