Arizona republican., 1915-08-29
Little James
(How the Sinking Of Unarmed anG Unresisting Ships Acts as an An tidote to Ennu in the German Foreign Office.)

| Whenever you want anuthern,7 sez
 Admirle von Tirpitz to Mister Ven Jagow tn German Eurriu Minister, | let me Know an I'll git it fer you. T don't want to order no More"
 sez Mister Von Jagow till l git word ! from tn Keezer which is now in
 Rushy walchin' tn Rushins brakin' all Speed Reckerds"
 Admirale Von Tirpitz an Mister Von Jagow was tallzin' about British Passenger Rotes which was engaged in carryin Amerrycan Passengers as part of their Cargoze. An Ad- mirle Won Turpitz was a gettin Im- pashent fer to hit anuthern with wun Of his Srbmareens.
 We ain't runnin' no Risk a tall,' he tells Mister von Jagow;" we can Lick America along with th' Rest of tn world if she don't like our Style of Submareen Worfare.
 T ain't afeard of Wor," replize Mis- ter von Jagow; T don't s'spose at we could pick Fite out of Amerryca If we Was to Sink d Amerrycan Bote loaded with Sundy Skool Skollers. But I don't like to sink thesehere Botes Jist for tn Fun of seein' tn NNAiiNi NelilS r5O QOWIl III lldNlll IL done only to Preserve our Frendly Relashuns with tn United States. We been kinda Issolated over here fer Some Time an they ain't enuff Biz ness in my Offs fer tn Stcnnografter to Earn her Salry on. But every time We Sink a Eote i'll which tne5's American SitiZens apcers in her Man nyfest, it opens up a Correspond H3rl,i i,.h nl-..e like old Times"
 of coarse" sez Admirle von Tir- | pitz, you don't want to Push this here kind cf Bizness too Fur + you git into Wor with tn United l States you won't have nobody left l to carry on no DlpIomatlic Core | spondence with an you'd die of Oug i Wee. More'n that, you'd Lose your ! Job. Tn United States IS your Sole ! Support. Ii you'd git them Mad sos | at they'd quit Ritin tn Kcezer wud- ! dent have no more Use fer a Furrin ! Minister than Germany has fer a i Iactry to make Injun Wor Canoos'
 T been thinkin of that" repl:ze | Mister von Jagow." I don't spose il 1 it'd be Possible to git tn United i States into a tite President Wilson i otE iN tnGN l5 lVC I lOh1 iO Ilbt. l | remember when I was Boy at tii' | Jimnashum Skool we had some Boys | there which was also too Proud to Fite. But some of them was th' ! Most Gracefle Crawlers or tn Fastest | Runners which l have ever Saw.
 But they ain't no Danger of gittin' i tn United States beyont tn Note Ritin' .Stage an I don't want no more ! Ip..t l-- Emploid anserin' their Notes. We . worked tn Loositania Insident to a Frazzle an when us an tn United | States cuddent think of no more to i Rite about it we Sunk tn Leelenaw but that didn't Pan Out nothin tall. ! Tn United States rote an sez That's all rite; that's our 8ote anhow sos at our Trends tn British cant make no Kick Tn Hole Correspondence about tn Leelenaw didn't last a Week. We didn't git enuff Enjoyment ont of it to pay fer tn Cost of tn Tor pedo at we Wasted onto 1t.
 Then We sunk tn Arabic an it looks like we're going to git our worth of Correspondence out of it which may keep up fer scverle Munths or more and give us a Ex- coos Ter htCDIH LII EIIili olllS OItii- I'll give you tn Hi Sine when tc git anuther British Bote with Amerrycan passengers onto it an don't you Sink none till you Heer from me. We can't afford 70 Waste our meeps of If ycu sunk all of th' l British Botes or sunk SC many of 'em at Amerrycansd git Slleered to ride on em, tn German F'urrin offs ,,i4o CIof hoe
 over in England when th' Arabic was Sunk th' Mareen inshurance sez: We got to Raise our Rates a Hole Lot. IL seen1s now at passengers on our BoteS Ion't affoard no More Perteckshun to th' Rest of th' Cargo'n if they was SO many Amerrycan M"ols."
 LITTLE JAMES.