The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1915-09-04
ALADY and A BABY
And Uncle Sans Polite Consul
In a City In France.
HOW THEY MET AND PARTED.

And How Light Was Thrown or the
Problem That the Woman, Who Was
French and voluble, and the In
FAINT, Who Was American, Presented,
Not very long after having taken
charge OF one OF the consulatcs In
France l was one morning seated at
my desk buslly engaged In figuring
over my quarterly accounts, when sud
denly a woman carrying u bundle In
her arms appeared before me. had
not resided In France sufficiently long
to imbibe the unaduterated French po-
liteness. but had progressed suf'
nciently to ask;
Madame. what cah | have the pleas.
urc OF doing for you this mornlngy"
Monsieur" she exclaimed, walking
toward me. holding out the bundle ns
if to deposit It on my desk, this Is an
American baby. What shall do with
itr'
Abashed at the prospect of SO sud.
denly becoming a father with the or.
ange blossoms aud rice omitted aud
knowing that the American govern.
ment had established no precedent of
maintaining orphan asylums either at
home or abroad. l hesltated n mnmcnt
and replied:
"Will the madame please be seated
over there by the door aud tell me
why. being a Frenchwoman, she has
become possessed OF an American
babyr
II never occurred to me to examine
the little bundle OF humanity. ! had In
previous times rather prided myself on
my ability TO distinguish the nation.
ality Of people. had even boasied !
could tell them by their shoes hut !
had never tried my perccptive powers
on infant physiognomies.
"voilar she said. seating herself,
shall never forget that word VOLTA
II was one OF the iirst French words |
ever learned. You know II means oh
so many things when used exclHma
torily. as II generally Is. Usually. how.
ever. TO the beginner In the French
language II conveys the meaning OF
Here Il is" That was about ms far as
I had progressed in my French educa.
tion at that time In regard to the many
varied meanings OF VOLTA. and de
termined that II Il meant the baby then
1t would retain its geographical loca.
tion iudehnitely-th Is. In the wom-
ans lap over by the door. or preferably
outside. But her VOLTA referred not
80 much to the infant as to the story
Of how Il came 10 be In her possession.
She talked volubly while tried to as
sumo the defensive power OF silence.
But to a Frenchwoman- we'll silence
simply means what the Jockey gives
the horse In the last heat encourage
ment
From the verbal French cyclone she
hurled at me | gathered II few frag
ments that enabled me to understand
For three months she mad been EN-.
pioyed as nurse by an American won
weeks previously. however. the mother
had returned 60 New York. saying She
was going over for only Two ur three
days on an urgent business matter and
would return at once She had not seen
or heard OF her since. Reing woman
who had to work for her own living.
the baby was burden on her hands.
She could hardly support herself. much
less provide for the infant, and MS the
child was OF American parentape she
thought the representative OF the Amer
lean government ought to take care
Oft.
suggested that would write TO the
city authorities In New York asking as
10 the genuineness OF the address that
with her.
And what shull do during all the
time you are waiting for an answer
starver'
My answer finally was n twenty
franc gold piece. with which size de
parted. saying she would try 10 take
care OF the baby until / could hear
from the New York authorities.
Now. the reasonable and the unren.
sonable part OF the story Is that since
her departure. though The sun has
risen hundreds of times. she has never
returned. II had not risen more thnn
seven times. however, before ! learned
the reason.
II was Just one week lnter at an In
formal dinner OF the sixteen consus
who resided IN the city that In the
course OF conversation with my Ital
fan colleague | told him the story ~
the woman and the baby. What do
you suppose he answered.
''Well. WELL" he laughed. why. that
same woman came TO my office. only
she had an Italian baby. And thought
I was fortunate 10 get rid Of her for
30 francs"
In the general conversation that fol
lowed ! discovered that the woman
had visited every one Of the sixteen |
In the city. and by her abll |
lty TO change the baby's nationality |
Haitian to japanese and all the other
colors of the rainbow she had extract
cd from the consular corps OF that par.
ticular French city the sum of 775
'rancs.
This incident Is Just one Of II series
" similar experiences with frauds md
'akers consul has To face In the Is'r,
'ormance OF his duties Thornwrll
Haynes In New York Tribune
Who hangs himself In the chimney
hould not complain OF smoke.-Ger-
nan Proverb