davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19
"STUNG"
By o. u. SUCKER

By o. u. SUCKER
The dividing line of Justice
Is the Reservation line,
Outside the acts that are legal
Inside the same are crime.
No more will we sing of freedom
This side of the close drawn line
No more will we handle extracts
Unless we pay fine.
JOY has turned to sorrow
Pleasure likewise to pain.
The taste in our mouth will be awful
Until extracts come again.
And now I'll go to Burbank
Champion CRATER of them all
And ask him what he'll charge me
For pint of grafter's gall.
Do you get that dusty feeling
In the inside of your throat
And long for the land of freedom
Instead of the billy goat.
The decayedness of politics
Is visible every day.
Why don't they drive us off the earth
Or let US have our say?
This is a beautiful country.
A land Of conserved wealth.
Bow low to those that rule it
If yoE would keep your health.
Goodbye, Lydia Pinkhams Compound,
No more on you We'll "toot,'
For now we've cast you on the ground
And smashed you with our boot.
This land is so rich forty acres
Is exchanged for your homestead right,
Four years without water upon it,
Do you blame US for wanting to fight?
This poem is not for the rich man,
No colored paints have we used,
What brains we have left in our think tank,
Tell us that we abused.
Why don't they give us sixty days
And settle this petty strife
Or go the limit if you please,
And send us up for life.
If the big guns down at Washington
Knew how we felt out here,
They would drop into the first saloon
And load themselves with beer.
GU may tnlnk tne stars ana SlTlyeS are aSeu
For Engand's ships to float,
If they find extracts in your pockets
They will surely get your goat.
Is this the land our fathers loved
Land of the free and brave,
Must we haul down our U. S. flag
And just our shirt sleeve wave?
We are like dumb driven cattle,
No more heroes in the strife
No favored ice cream for our kids,
No sherbet for wife.
We may kick and yell ard holler
Until our eyes turn green,
But upon the Reservation
No more extracts will be seen.
They can get you with pigeon stool
Or bat you with a gun
And bump your noodle good and hard,
Then swear what you have done.
How soon will Uncle Sam step in
And end this tommy-rot
Give US back our extracts,
Which right now have not.
The freedom of this country
Has undergone a change
Soon We'll drink pure dew drops
And feed upon the range
Our guns, they now are emptied
We have fired our last salute
No more will we be tempted
With extracts and Swamp Root.
And now adieu, kind readers,
Well not bother you bore,
For the extract mills are SILENT
They will never grind no more.
Wen give or sell what we have left,
And flee from the yawning graves,
And cross the line to the country
Where our U. S. flag still waves.
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19

Despite the inclement weather,
there was a good attendance at
the Leon Ladies' Aid Thursday
last, at the home of Mrs. Tester.
1t was decided to hold the we'll
known "Old Maids Convention"
at some time in the near future,
notice of which will he given
later in the Pioneer. The next
meeting will be with Mrs. Van
Dusen on March Is.
Pigs for sale-Mrs. M. Haney, sec. 2,
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19
Stray Mare

Bay, weight $50, small brand on left
shoulder, broke, with foal. Came to
my place about Feb. lst 81, miles
south of Roman on Ronan-Ravalli road.
Owner pay costs and take mare. M.
l.. Dennis. 46 3
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19
For Rent

Eighty acres all under cultivation, in
sec. Z, 2o-21, 9 miles from Roman and
near Sloan S ferry. Also the 80 acres
of Anton Mitenberger, under Guilt
walton, near the above tract. Apply
to Carrie Mitenberger, 1850 Minor
Ave. Seattle. Wash. 45-46
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19
Work Horses Cheap

From to 10 years old, weight from
1850 to 1900. These horses can be seen
at the VIM. Engie place s miles south
of Roman. P. NJ. Ross, Roman. 472p
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19
For Sale

Span of young mares, wagon and
new harness, hay and oats, farm ma
chinery. Cash Coulter. Asp
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19
Land For Lease

$50 acres most excellent land near by
Roman. Improvement lease will be ac
cepted. Brewer & Hollingsworth. 46
The Ronan pioneer. [volume] (Ronan, Mont.) 1910-1970, 1915-03-19

We buy all kinds of stock cattle.
As Brewer & HollingsWorth.
Work horses for sale. as
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03
ST. JOHNS LUTHERAN.
Morning Service.

Prelude-Triumphal March. ........
"A. w. hAOCl
Choir-Erhohet die Pforten der Liege
Geo. Kossel
postlude
Evening Service.
Prelude, Fantasia on Church Chimes
III " CAdS I1dlIoH
Choir-Now is Christ Risen
Duet-Easter Echoes
Misses Flora and Ode Sturm
Choir, The Voice of Triumph
Duet, God So Loved the World
Misses Ruby Pilgrim and Dor
Othea Schneider.
Ladies Quartet-Christ is Risen
Misses Ruth Zimmerman, Eda Schuer
man, Ode Sturm and Mrs. Frauman.
Hallelujah-Chorus.
Postlude-Festival March-C. H. Read
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03
REID MEMORIAL.

Special music at both morning and
evening service Miss Ganelle Haga-
man will sing at both services.
The music in morning will be by
chorus choir of twenty voice and the
regular quartette assisted by Miss
Crubaugh, soprano, who will sing the
offertory.
The following numbers will be given
at these services.
"Hark the Song" Martin-Full chorus.
BE Joyful" Buck-Alto, soprano and
chorus.
"Life's Resurrection Hour, Neid-
linger-Solo and chorus.
Victory" Shelly-Trio and quartette.
Christ the Lord Is Risen," Wilson
Baritone solo and quartette.
'tThe .Glorified Gorden," Mendelssohn
Soprano, alto duet and quartette.
Public cordially invited.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03

Hymn-'Rise. Glorious Leader. Rise"
G1y1r0l0
Hymn-'Prince Of Peace. Control
offertory-"Aria in F. wv. Hsines
Anthem-'My Redeemer Liveth"...
................... Lorenz
Chorus
Duette-"The Lord Arose. Gabriel
Mrs. E. e. Meyers and Mr..
Ralph Little.
Hymn-"Tis the Savious Pleading"
.................... Fillmore
Postlude- Ira Wilson
Evening.
Voluntary-"Melody in B Flat. ..
Hymn-'l Know that My Redeemer
Lveth" Fillmore
Comet Duette-Barcarolle from
Tales OF Hoffman ....... .Offenbach
Hymn-"He Is Risen" .... Fillmore
Cffertory-"Thoughts of Thee.
Ashford
Anthem-"The Lord is Risen In
deed" ................1r Ira B. Wilson
Hymn-'Is 1t For Me-. .O'Kane
Postiude-. Ira B. Wilson
Miss Doloris Ellis. Organist.
Mrs. w. G. Mcvay, Director.
ST. PAUL'S LUTHERAN.
Sunday school at 8. Mr. George c.
Bartel. superintendent English ser
vices at 1890. The following pro-
gram will be carried out. Mrs. Charles
Igleman will sing at the Sunday
school.
Prelude-Lefebure Weley.
Opening service.
Hymn-Christ the Lord is Risen To-
day.
Scripture reading and prayer
Offertory-Violin solo. Mr.. Clifford
Piehl
Hymn-An Hail the Glorious Morn.
Anthem-Ye Bells of Easter Day,
Louis r. Dressler.
Sermon-Risen With Christ.
The Lords Prayer.
Anthem-victory, Harry R. Shelley.
Hymn-Christ the Lord is Risen
Again
Observation-Disclosures
This service will be followed by the
Holy Communion in German.
Following is the program for the
evening service.
Prelude-Easter Fantasy.
Invocation.
Responsive Reading.
Prayer.
Song-Risen From the Dead
Recitation-Easter Flowers.
Primary Department Song.
Observation-Disclosures Message.
Solo-Miss Lena Weisbrod-"Hos-
anna" by Julis Gramer.
Violin Obligato-Mr Clifford Piehl
Observation-Disclosures.
Vocal Trio-Easter.
Anthem-Alleluia. Christ is Risen. by
Homer U. Bartlett.
Remarks by pastor.
Song-Rejoice the Lord is Risen.
Benediction-Doxolog
POstlude.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03

FIRST CHRISTIAN CHURCH.
Morning.
Voluntary-'Easter Joy" ..........
Alfred Phillips
ocessional-"Christ the Lord Is
Risen Today" ........... Morgan
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03

FIRST N. e.
Morning.
Organ prelude, Easter Morning..
............... Roland Nusbaur1
sym SOuSl SedI4Ou
Anthem, Until the Day Breaks.
................ Oh. Gounod
osalter ..... Pastor and Congregation
dale quartet, The Wondrous Cross
.......... Observation-Disclosures. Parker
Organ offertory.
Violin solo, Angels Seranade" ....
.................. Braga
Mr.. Harold Clements.
Soprano solo. "Hosanna" .Cramer
Miss Dollins.
Sermon ........... Rev. Mr.. Hartman
dale quartet, ITO Be With Thee.
farks
hessrs Druley. George Hodge, Walter
Lurig and c. G. Hutchins.
Organ postlude.
Evening.
Organ prelude.
0ymn ............... Congregation
anthem. THE Sun Shall Be No
More Thy Light" ....... Woodward
soprano solo. 20, Divine Redeemer'
...r GOunO0
Miss Dollins.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03
Special Services
F.. For Risen Christ

/. Special Easter music will be sung in all Richmond
churches tomorrow. The exalted sentiments of the day find
expression music Of high quality. The thousands who
throng Richmond churches will hear the compositions Of the
best masters in the musical world Appended are the pro-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03

Song, How Calm and Beautiful
the Morn" School
Benediction.
SECOND PRESBYTERIAN.
Junior Choir.
Soloists-Miss Carolyn Smith, So
prano; Miss Mabel Overman, con-
tralto.
Morning Service.
Prelude. "Traumeref ...... Schuman
Organ.
Doxology.
Invocation.
Choir
Responsive Reading-Selection II.
Hymn No. 100.
Scripture Lesson.
Prayer-Response ..............
Choir.
Onertory, "Hosanna" ....... Graonie
Miss Carolyn Smith.
"Shirist the Lord is Risen Today.
............ Morrison
Choir
triumphant Morn" ......... Scott
Choir
Reception of Members.
Benediction.
Postlude in G.......... Whiting
Evenina-Senior Choir.
Prelude, Laus Dec Morrison
Hymn No. 1o4.
Invocation.
Christ is Risen ..... Shelley
Ladies Chorus.
And There Shall Be No More
Death" Scott
(From Triumphant Morn
Miss Carolyn Smith. Miss Mabel
Overman.
offertory, God Shall Wipe Away
All Tears Field
Mrs. George Gault
Cantata, "The Easter King.
Soloists-Miss Edith Hilbert, So
prano: Miss Pearl Warner, contralto:
Mr.. Thollie Druley, tenor; Mr. John
Graham, baritone.
No. I. The Kings Entry, march and
chorus.
No. 2. The King in the Temple, con-
tralto solo and chorus.
No. 3. The King in Darkness, tenor
solo and quartet
No. 4. The Kings Trial, duet, quar-
tet and chorus.
N. 5. The King Crowned With Thorns
coral hymn, quartet.
No. g. The Kings Sacrifice, soprano
solo.
No. Z. The Kings Victory. tenor solo
and Double Chorus
No. s. The Kings Command, quartet.
No. 9. The Kings Ascension, tenor
solo and double chorus.
No. 10. The Kings Final Glory, bari
tone solo, ladies' trio and chorus.
Benediction.
Postlude-March in D ..... Dehayes
Junior Choir Members-Sopranos
Carloyn Smith, Carolyn Bradley, Marie
Baker, Hazel Cruise, Marjorie Ed
wards, Helen Hasty. Miss La Won
Beam, Nellie Hawkins, Mildred Ru-
bel. Blanche Harter, Thelma McKis-
sic and Master Ralph Woods.
Tenors-Willard Nearon. Roy Plum
mer. James Woods and Mr.. La Won
Harper.
Altos-Misses Mabel Overman, Bes-
sic Cruise, Ethel Graham, Lucille Shur-
ley. Violet Skiles and Master Robert
Graham.
Basses-Ben Howes, Raymond Ak
en-. Carlton Brown, Kennth Davis,
Herschel Thomas, Paul Underhill.
Senior choir members. Sopranos
The Misses Ruth Mumbower, Eva
King, Gertrude Hoffman. Camilla
Ford, Edith Hilbert. Mildred Hoffman,
Mary Leftwich and Mesdames Arthur
Thome, Rev. Davis, George Gault,
Jesse Woods.
Tenors-Clyde Reigle, Frank Walk
er, Oliver Overman.
Altos-The Misses Pearl Warner,
Cora johnson, Rae Lawder, Beryl
Hasty. Ruth Bradley, Mary Howes.
Basses-John Lawder, Howard Mer-
rill, Arthur Thome, John Graham, Ad-
olson Mumbower.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03
FIRST BAPTIST.
Morning Service.

Lift Up Your Heads. Adams
Miss Ruth Ferguson and choir.
Lift Your Glad Voices" -. Adams
Choir and mems chorus.
Risen. a Glorious King. Wilson
Chorus of women and choir.
Evening Service.
From the Power of the Grave"
Miss Ruth Ferguson and choir.
LET There Be Light" Adams
Choir
Mrs. J. Will Ferguson. organist.
A. d. Cobb, chorister.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03
TRINITY LUTHERAN.

THINITY cUTHeHAN.
Morning Service.
Organ-"Resurrection Morn" ......
Johnston
.Anthem-"Unfold, Ye Portals" Gre
demption) .......... Gounod
Rejoice, Jerusalem and Sing. .Nevfn
Mrs. Charles Igelman
is Risen. Turner
Grand Cchour. Grey
Edna Deuker, organist.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03
GRACE N. z.
Easter Morning.

Prelude, Easter Morning. :. Mailing
Miss Irene Gormon.
Solo, Eye Bells Of Easter Day..
Mrs. c. E. Thomson with violin ob-
ligato by Miss Helen Rethmeyer.
Offertory, Religiso ........ Beethoven
Prof. Hicks, Robert Gentle and Dale
Owens, violin.
Solo, 1.-THE Christ Arose. %. Mario
Mrs. Warren Lacey with violin obi
cato by Prof F. X. Hicks.
Unfold We Portals" ....... .Gounod
Mrs. Thomson and choir.
Postlude, Christ is Risen" .Davidico
Mrs. Grace Gormon, director.
Easter Evening.
Prelude, "Triumphal March"
....... oud1u-ooAny
SThe Lord Arose. So. Gabriel
Mrs E. E. Meyer and Mr.. Ralph Little.
unfold Ye Portals" ... .Gounod
Miss Pearl Crubaugh, violin obligato,
Miss Ruth Scott.
Offertory:
Violin solo, "Menuet" Beethoven
Miss Scott.
Christ, Our Passover. .Vogrich
Quartet and choir.
Postlude, Grand Triumphal Cho-
yiolins, Misses Ruth Scott, Helen
Rethmeyer, Prof F. X. Hicks, Mr..
J Noll Deem.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03

o~~~
FIRST pREsevTERiAN.
Z Quartet composed Of Mechanics F.
W. Krusger. Ray Longnecker. Messrs.
Frank Brafett and Otto Krone, with
Mrs. Fred Miller. organist
Morning. 1880 O'clock.
. Organ.
First offertorie In c minor. . .Grison
Festival in Re Dunn in e flat. 49,.
! ....,............. Dudley Buck
Organ oftertory, Pastoral No. g..
= ............... Arthur Foote
Solo. ''Haleluia, He Is Risen" ......
Mrs. F. w. Kruger.
Sermon Rev. Mr.. Rae
The Choir Angelic. Hanscomb
Organ. "The Song Of Triumph.
i, ................... H. s. Turner
= Vespers. 4:45 p. m.
Organ:
Praeludium Festivum OPP. 49,.
..-................ Rene L. Becker
"A New Heaven and a New Earth
Mr.. Braffett and quartet
Awake Glad Sour' ......... Briggs
4 Scripture reading.
NOW IL Christ Risen" Mccall
The Choir Angelic. ....... .Hanscomb
Remarks.
Christ, the Lord Is Risen" .......
Organ festival chorus. ...... .Faulkes
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1915-04-03

Soprano solo. Victor Immortal.
Mr.. Harold Clements.
Soprano solo, 1.-THE Resurrection
Morn" Rodney
Mrs. Edgar Cleveland.
Contralto solo. THE Man Of Sor-
rows 49,: 49, s, Adams
Anthem, unfold Ye Portals. ....
1900. ....... IN. 1ounoo
G. F. Hutchins, director.
SECOND ENGLISH LUTHERAN.
The Sunday school will give'a can
tata entitled, Captivity Led Captive"
Sunday evening.
Song, HE Livevs". BY School
Responsive reading and Lords
prayer.
Song, Risen From the Dead"...
Song, HE LIVES by School
Recitation, Easter Story.
................. BY Robert Davis
E. A. S. T. e. r. BY Beginners
Song, "Alleluia Loudly Sing.
................, ..... Class of Girls
Easter Message BY -Four Girls
Easter Bells.
Stanley Greene and Orville Duning
Song ................ By Beginners
Easter Flowers ...... BY Beginners
Recitation ....... Miss Lucille Harris
Pastors address and offertory taken
for church extension.
Song, Jesus Lives" BY School
Recitation ........ BY Albert Evans
Recitation BY William Klopp, Jr.
Recitation Beverley Holiday
Recitation ... Elmer Bescher
Song, "Hark to the Song of Spring
time" . Laura Mae Burns
Song, How Calm and Beautiful
the Morn" School
Benediction.
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
"Home, Sweet Home"

It was dark and cold and the gaunt
and leafless trees were swayed by fit.
full gusts Of wind that spoke OF COM
ing rain.
Plodding Pete and Weary Willie
quickened their pace in order to reach
a place of shelter ere the storm
should overtake them. This sudden
burst of energy seemed to excite con-
versation.
"Wots up with yer, Pete?" inquired
Willie. yer look as If yer goin' ter
cry"
81 dunno" was Pete's reply. 81 don't
feel the Joy O. livin' like l used to-
I've been thinkin' O my wasted life,
an I've got a sorter uneasy, homesck
feelin'."
"Homesick!" broke in Willie. why
bless me, l believe that's wot both OF
us are sufferin from. We amt nei
ther Of us bin inside a Jail for close
in three months now, ave we?'
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
THE ONLY COMPETITION,

Bob" Jones, the eloquent southern
evangelist, was condemning New
York.
THE only difference can see be.
tween New York and hades said Rev.
erend Bob, SIS that New York is sur.
rounded by water.
Why, even in your New York of,
fees you don't work Look at your
ofi.ces--crowds of young men in pink
silk hose, crowds of young women in
low-cut and transparent blouses.
u said in New York office the
other day:
" Is there much competition f1ere?'
"A pretty stenosrapher, swinging
her foot in and out of her slashed
skirt laughed and answered merrily:
oh, yes, there's lots of conlpeti-
tion-between the Office mirror and
the Office clock st Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Mans Conquest Of Nature.

More than half a century ago
Buckle, in his History of Civiliza
tion," wrote: Formerly the richest
countries were those in which ma.
ture was most bountiful now the
richest countries are those in which
man is most active. For in our age
of the world If nature is parsimonious
we know how to compensate her de-
ficiencies. If river is difficult to
navigate, or country difficult to
traverse. an engineer can correct the
error and remedy the evil. If we have
no rivers we make canals; If we have
no natural harbors we make art,n'
cial ones"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
The Caviar Bird.

Two ultrasophisticated New Workers
were admiring the wainscoting in a
certain Philadelphia hotel and got to
arguing over the name of the wood
He didn't know, and asked the barten-
der,
''Whatta yuh call that wood?" he
said
That wood?" said the bartender
That stuff costs lot of money. It's
Russian caviar
"PiiIle" sncrted the New Yorker;
'caviars not wood; it's bird"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
An Encouraging Sign.

Cheer up, old boy; you're going to
win out all right
DO you really think SOP
Il am sure of it Just keep going"
What makes you feel so sure that
can succeed?"
"Ail the wiseacres in town are pre-
dieting your failure"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
At Bay.

The walking delegate from the
prison guards union banged his first
on the table in front of the superin-
terdent of police,
You'll have to stir up the cops to
make more arrests he said Half Of
our men are out OF work and if you
don't fiji the iails inside of a week III
call a general strike"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
ANOTHER MATTER.

AS is well known, the law cannot
concern itself in any case before 1t
with side issues. These are vigorously
excluded
In a case in which a man was ac-
cused of forgery, witness for the
defense managed to say:
Il know that the prisoner cannot
write his own name"
All that is excluded said the
Judge The prisoner is not charged
with writing his own name, but that
of someone else"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
The Best Place.

The illustrated Bible had a strong
fascination for small Geraldine With
the book upon her lap, she looked up
and said:
Mother. do folks marry in heaven?"
THE Good Book says they do not,
Geraldine"
Well, do they marry in--in-the
other place."
Il suppose not, my dear
Geraldine shut the Bible with bang.
Then I'm going to stay right here"
she said
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
A Gruescn1e Sneer.

Il have discovered means of saw.
ing health and prolonging mems lives" :"
said the exultant scientist.
That's a good idea" replied the
cynic. There's no telling when some
of your political scientists will need
men in order to demonstrate the eff.
cheney of new military machinery"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
SUNDAY Papers.

Hubby" she chrped, did the allies
win this worlds series | see so much
about in the papers,"
No, my dear, you're a triile mixed.
The allies are fighting in Europe"
And whom are they fighting, the
Athletics?"
Here" said the goaded man, you
gimme that sporting sheet and you
take the society section"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
No Rautime There,

Suppose ! buy a bale of cotton"
said Mr.. Crosslots. cautiously. Why
it'll take up as much room as piano" "
Think of the advantage! No anna.
teur musician is going to sit down in
front of bale of cotton and try to
play and sing"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Euuinc indifference,

Charley, DEAR said young Mrs.
Torkins. 81 don't see how you can
tell which horse to bet on"
We'll, you see, you have to study 1t
all out very carefully"
Yes, and when you get it all figured
out you can't make the horses under
stand it, so they go right ahead and
do as they please"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Jeer for Jeer.

'Ila! hat" said the man who was:
elected. II thought you said you
trusted the wisdom of the plain peo-
pie"
Il still believe in it," replied the
man who was defeated "The wisest
people want joke now and then"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Violated EeutralitY.

why, Johnny, what's the matter
with you?"
I'VE had a free fight, mother"
What do you mean?"
There's twenty-three flghtin' ma
tionalities in our school, mother, and
only three stayed neutral"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
The Willy Husband.

Wife--I' thought you had more
sense than to buy cornet. You know
the man next door worries us nearly
to death with his.
Husband-Calp yourself, my dear.
That's the one bOught-Philadelp
Record.
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Its Translation,

What do these fool novel writer's
mean by saying of the heroine that the
subtle perfume of her breath brushed
the hero's cheek?"
Il guess it's cracking up, the sweep
ing success of the brand of chewing
gum she used"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01

Husband TAT breakfast table)-Oh,
for some of tire biscuits my mother
used 10 make,
Wife tsW eetlyr--Tm sorry you have
not got them, dear. They would be
Just about stale enough by this time
to go well with that remark
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Caught.

Il was looking at some $40 hats
today" said his wife, and brought
this one home to SEE what you think
)f it."
"Frightful," said her husband.
That's what | thought This is a
cheap So hat; let me have s15."
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Greatness Conceded.

want you to understand" said
the man of ardent local pride, that
Philadelphia is one of the greatest
cities of the country. 1t is famous
throughout the world.
"Of course it is, replied the Massa.
chusetts man. / know all about Phil
adelphia. It's the town everybody went
to to see the Bostons play ball.
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
A Horrible PoseihiIitv

Railroads have already begun to
put up the price of tickets" said the
apprehensive citizen
Yes" replied the patient person;
but I'm not going tc kick They're
entitled to credit if they don't fix up
a system for standing in with ticket
spectators"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
A Pretty DECEPTION,

Crawford-So you found a package
of old love letters you wrote your
wife years ago. What did you do
with them?
Crabshaw-Changed the dates and
sent them to her while she was away
in the country.-Puck.
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Why MinstreIaY Is pYlnn Out.

Sambo - Mister Interlocutor, can
yoah tell nah whah de standin' armies
sit down when dey's tired?
Interlocutor-No, Sambo, ! cannot.
When do they sit down?
Sambo-On de seat OBJ war. We will
now sing dat beautiful ditty, entitled,
"Nebber Mind de Cotton Crop, ef de
Chicken Crop Am Good"
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Knows When to Stop,

why are you always Dragging about
your preacher" asked the old fox.
He isn't so eloquent, He reads his
sermons, doesn't he?"
That's why I'm for him. replied
the crouch. He can tell when he
gets to the end
The Coconino sun., 1915-01-01
Superabundance.

He speaks several languages flu
emily"
"Yes. But what's the use He new
er thinks Of anything to say that's
worth translating"