The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1915-01-07
BRICKBATS AND POSIES
By Uncle Goshdingit : 1858

The Grown of olives has been captured
by katch-up concern and made into ''97
varieties
| The breadline in Belgium is more con-
slstent to Belgium than is the consistency
of breadlne to the u. S. A.
| Between two evils choose the lesser
says some one that had no choice between
not choosing and getting it on four-Aush
The race is not always to the strong
said the geek who was captured while beat
| ing it with an annexed brick of Linn
| burger cheese.
The reason that all people do not reach
the pinnacle of fame, is because it is too
much like climbing the 'slipp' ry-pole' of
ye childhood days
Whoozutt, the geek with the purple
| whiSkers says that success consists of dodg-
ing the Assessor. Yea, boy, many truth
is clothed in mother-hubbard of testing.
Appreciation to you Messrs NJ. Joe,
j., and others, for the good will toward an
'omnivorous' reader. Well done-ye MEM
bers of a helpful, knowledge sharing bro
therhood.
The Peanut hordes that invaded our cell
house at Xmas has been totally annihilated,
with enormous losses. The fatalities
among the defeated Gubers amply testify to
the superiority and efficiency of our 1910
centimeter dental siege guns. A bas la
peanut!
Duke our popular doggie says she
has deserted the cause of the Allies for that
of the Kaiser.-She gives no reason for this
trsltorous conduct-information from our
secret service department developed the evil
dence that feed of German 'metwurst'
and Pretzels has had something to do with
this change of heart!
It's Fate DEGREES that l should linger
another six months among you;'' sighed
Willie the second-story artist, as he tear
fully jammed another spoonful of squash
into the hole in his face. ''Fate is uta''
growled Duke with look of scorn. cts
the degree ov both yer fate that how We
blocked now, who'd think ov shown
clememency to geek wild the soize of fate
the lokes ov yez hOv?'
''Why doesn' the dog-cathcer get after
those dogs of war's'' asked Duke of we Ty-
pc the other morning. 81 don't know why
he S been lettin' them dogs chase each other
around Europe obstructing tnternation-
al traffic thataway, Duke, unless he's lost
that string of sassiges and pretzels that ne
yer fails to lure the bow-wows to be good,
as you yourself well know; said We useless
and witless Typo with yearning sigh.
Will our jovia and musical Uncle Rue
barb elucidate wherein the musical terms
conjugate the paradoxial apocopates, and
syndatonics merge into chromatc strabis-
mus? For instance: If to B-hat is to B-natu-
raj how can it eventuate to B-sharp? Or
if it is so exquisite to C-sharp can one not
therefore C-hat also? of course, to B-sharp
and not C-natural is certainly symptomatic
of using the staff on the (p). piano. But B
that as it may, you will readily c one can
B-natural and C-Datural too. AS the fore
going contention concurs in accordance to
concurrential cOncurrences, we will pro-
coed before we lose our "embouchure;" for
one can C-natural without having to C-Aat
Then it follows that to B fiat is to B-nat-
ural. Then further if to C-sharp we B-fat;
but it does not follow that we can B-fat and
B-natural at the same time and get away
with it without the prof. calling you down.
And the same line of reasoning leads to the
conclusion that to C-sharp one must B.
natural ana N-Hat 10 b-Snarp, without
using specs. We pause, for fear of mix
ing the double peas Opp with our single
peas (p.) at the speed of 2:40 (tf.) to $40
NW)!
P. S. If the foregoing spasm doesn't spas
medically spasmodicate one can take a
'stave, direct march into 'gallop' and
conduct this 'medly' with the trio to
an overture where it will fall over the
cleft to the 'andante' below, without
half measures to diminish for the want of
rest and the lack of breath!