South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-05-04
Seeing America
First
by Fred Kelly.

From Diary:
The rising generation Of Mormons
today impress one with nothing so
much as their close similarity to other
people They will buy dinner crack
a jOke-even a joke based on poly
gamy-and behave in every way like
anybody else. 1t seems to be a stand
ing joke to the younger Mormons'
and to other residents of Salt Lake
City as well. that the visitor comes
expecting TO find every other male
citizen with a clump Of wives to his
credit
Amateur jokers when about to sign
a hotel register in Salt Lake City al
most invariably make some laughing
remark TO the effect that they will
need only one room as they have only
one wife along. Then the clerk forces
a smile and observes:
you have it easy. All three of
mine insist on going with me when 1
travel.'
Even the lecturer on the sightsee-
ing wagon will have his joke. He
points TO a home and says:
There is the dwelling place of Mr..
Taylor. one of our most prominent
citizens He has buried 80 wives"
Everybody gasps and the lecturer
continues: Doubtless he Will bury a
I
ing undertaken"
The MormOns have a clever scheme
for getting their people TO church
a scheme that it is a wonder other
denominations do not adopt Instead
of exhorting people to go to church.
they make il difficult to get in, or at
least into one branch of the church.
They have their tabernacle and also
a temple; anybody can attend the
services in the tabernacle. but to get
into the temple one must be vouched
for as a very good Mormon. One
may not even peek in the temple. 1t
is guarded the same as the lodge
room Of q secret order. The conse-
quence Of all this is that people get
their curiosity aroused and determine
to see what the temple looks like on
the inside. Scores of MOrmOns lead
exemplary lives just for the satisfac-
ton of being permitted to enter the
temple when they see fit. Imagine
living in a town and having to pass
day after day a building that you are
not allowed TO enter. L presume a lot
of people in Salt Lake City join the
Mormon church and behave them
selves for a long time, just 10 acquire
the good standing necessary to enter
the temple and satisfy their curios-
ity.
Many business men. am told. be-
come MormOns after taking up their
residence in Salt Lake City simply
because il is good policy to do So
just as a republican becomes a demo-
crat when he moves TO the sunny
south
Salt Lake City has the longest city
blocks. 1 reckon. to be found in the
entire country. When a native in Salt
Lake City tells a visitor a place is
only three or four blocks away he
chUckles TO himself afterward. Even
if a place is only one block away the
person who wishes to conserve his
strength Will be wise to call a taXicab
In Reno. New. the other night. I
asked a bystander at the station how
the people awaiting divorces put in
their time. Promptly he replied:
Going 10 Los Angeles and San
Francisco mostly
Reno is another town set in the
desert The sight of the mountains
in the distance saves the surround
ings, however. from utter desOlatiOn
Even at that. it seemed 10 me as I
look about me that regardless of
how much my wife might annoy or
harass me. I would try TO cheer her
mp and make her do, rather than
spend a long period in Reno in order
TO effect a change.