The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1915-08-16
A Letter From Uncle Sam
to His NeighbOrs
~ Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. by Frank Crane)

Sweden, Denmark, Switzerland, Spain,
Greece, Bulgaria. Roumania, Mexico, all
the Central and South American coun-
tries and any other states that are not
now at war. l take my pen in hand to let
you know that l am feeling pretty
tolable well, and hope you are enjoying
the same blessing.
| Your Uncle Samuel has q proposition
to make to you.
1t is this. Why pot get togetherl
There are q considerable lot of us
that are not fighting. and perhaps if
we could meet somewhere and talk
things over it might save US a deal Of
trouble. besides some money.
propose this. Let US each chip in,
each according to his means and form
an international navy and an interna-
tional army.
These armed forces would be used 70
keep the peace in the worlds highway,
the same as policemen now make men
20 to court to do their quarreling, in
Buenos Ayres or New York.
II we all contributed we could have
humping big navy that any of the war
making countries would hesitate to
attack.
This armed force should be under the
control of central representative body
Of delegates from all our lands.
Let us leave out the warning Euro
pean countries for the present. When
they get through with their madness.
and are bankrupt and decimated, they
will gladly join us. We will vote any OF
them into our club as soon as they agree
to give up their shooting irons and abide
by law.
Come, let us make patriotism mean
building up our own country instead OF
impoverishing it, helping our neighbor
states instead of scuttling them, saving
the lives Of our people instead Of butch
ering them.
/ It's certain that the way we have been
managing our world-business Is plumb
crazy. To kill and wound several million
citizens and to spend billions Of dollars
in settling the dispute land the Lord
knows what it's all abouD between the
nations OF Europe, II that isn't sheer
insanity I don't know what is.
Come on, let's start something new.
Let's give up our pistols. Let's quit run
| ming our nations for the sake of national
erotisfn and run them for the benefit OF
the population.
Let's think about folks, not nations.
] Let's cut out the national defense and
establish international law and order
instead.
| You can bet your life your Uncle Sam
doesn't want anything but to trade with
you, to make your country prosperous,
and to 20 and visit you once in while
and spend some money.
You can be doggone sure that you
haven't man want to kill. nor an acre
OF land want to annex. I've enough
bad men that need killing at home, and
own more territory now than want.
! / think the rest Of you feel pretty
much the same way.
/ Say, why should we stand around and
wait for Europe, anyway? She's not the
whole cheese. Can't we do anything
without asking her? And look at the
way she's messed things up!
i Come on, let's start something.
I'm getting pretty tired of Germany
and England and their swollen egos.
Let's call a world town-meeting.
nominate somebody from Holland for
chairman, somebody from China for
secretary and somebody from Argentina
for treasurer. And I'll be one Of the
high privates.
You can have Teddy Roosevelt for
commander Of your international police
liz you want him. He's been still so long
now we're kind o. scared of him, and
don't know where he'll bust loose next
Take him along.
In conclusion I'm glad to inform you
that my folks are all pretty well and
send you lots Of love.
Don't be frightened at the lingo dogs
IN the yard; they bark something ter
ribIe, but our people are all mighty
friendly to you, and any time you come
TO see US I'll kick the pups back to the
barn and make you powerful welcome.
Write soon and let me hear what you
think Of my idea.
/ Your affectiOnate
UNCLE SAM.
CORDITE