Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1915-12-24

l did get some awful kicks at that. |
and 1 would send back some sweet |
words in nice letter and in the Office
have good laugh about it.
Yes, the girls and men who work in
the correspondence department of my
concern have almost as much fun over
the letters that you send in and in
the answering Of them, as if they were
sitting in theater hearing the jokes
and funny songs. It's a perpetual
comedy for them.
You sit at home, after hard days
work, and write, with the greatest
sincerity and often trouble, letter
Of complaint to my house. You are
very serious about it. What would
you think, how Inundated you would
feel, if you could see your letter, writ
ten so carefully by you, passed around
| for sneering comments and laughing
jests.
And one of my nine-dollar-a-week
clerks will turn to his stenographer
and say: Send this kicker form 13
letter. And the stenographer will
take an imitation form letter, write
your name at the top and stamp the
name of one of the bosses as the sig
nature, and mail it to you. The letter
will read something like this:
Dear Friend:
We are very sorry to note that you are
displeased with your last order. We can
not understand how such a mistake has
occurred We paid particular attention
to the shipment of your order as we look
| upon you as one of our most valued Gus
toners
1 will attend personally to your next
order and see that it is put up in the very
best manner. We value your letters very
highly and look to hear from you with
pleasure.
Hoping you are well and wishing you
the compliments of the season, permit
me to sign myself.
Yours most sincerely,
Signed: CName of the Boss.)
Probably the boss is away in Eu-
rope or somewhere else You will
note that the letter would apply to
anything, from the receipt of can of
decayed tomatoes to broken chair
! It's all 'hot air. These letters don't
mean anything. The manner in which
we avoided sending duplicate of the
same letter to you when you sent in
the next kick, which we looked for
and expected, was in this way. We
kept a big yellow envelope with all
Of your letters and correspondence,
orders, etc., in it. On the front of
the letter was a memorandum of the
form letters that had been sent you
For instance, when your next kick
was received the correspondent who
would get your letter would look on
the front of the envelope and see that
you had been sent form r3. So he
would reply to this new kick with
: form IA, which would read something
| like this:
: Dear Friend: n
have just looked up your last ordel
and find that in the absence of Mr.. BLANK
Ghe boss that signed the other with E
l rubber stamp as proxy, who was un
) | avoidably out of the city when your or.
| der came in, your order was filled by {
new employee. Just how the mistake oc
CURED we don't know but I have dis
charged the person who handled the or
. der.
|
are trying to give you our very best serv
J. ice and if you have any further com
|, plants to make write direct to me.
o will give them my personal attention.
Send in another order, as soon as yol
can. and I will see that it is taken car
I. of.
d We are having nice weather here an
+ hope you are having the same in your 10
y cality. Write soon.
Yours faithfully
r Signed: (Another Boss.)
You as an individual have no NOR,
!, consideration in my concern than
postage stamp. You are a nonentity
you are only yellow envelope witt
- a series of marks denoting the nun
: Der Of kicks you have sent in.
1 But fattery goes long ways Yo'
9 must be fattered, you must be ca
;, joled. You must be given all and an
kinds of promises, but none of then
4 will be kept. Your money is what W
want. But must try to make yo
believe that you are a great friend
= that read your letters personally an
. answer them.
Dear Friend-It's all bunk For e1
cry letter sent you, full of f1attery an
!, insincere statements and lies, ther
II are thousands of others all over tn
= country who get exactly the same le
: ters. I'll guarantee that many of 20
= who read these confessions by m
>, have read letter after letter write
!, by me and to which the name of som
big boss was signed with a rubbe
stamp. Or perhaps some little gun
= chewing girl signed them with pc
:. and ink, writing the boss name.
~ Think it over.