davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Bills Afterthouoht.

Two lottery derelicts had Just fin.
fshed repast at Bethel Mission
one OF the spreads that are being laid
out for the unemployed. They were
Allied and comfortable and disposed to
"Reminiscences of their experience.
"Didje get piece OF that beef
Bill?' asked one OF the other.
Yep" said Bill,
An didje get some O. that soup?"
yep
Couldn't o. asked for more,
eouldje?'
We'll. | dunno" said Bill.
We'll, what wouldje of asked fer?''
Il was just a-thinkin'," said Bill,
that to make that grub set right in
every way, II we'd just had little
high ball to "a started 1t off with,
there'd be nothin' a-tall now to kick
about. louisville Times.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

In one of George Macdonald's books
occurs this fragment of conversation
81 wonder why God made me-" said
Mrs. Faber, bitterly. I'm sure don't
know what was the use OF making
me-"
Perhaps not much yet" replied
Dorothy; "but then he hasn't done
with you yet. He is making you now,
and you don't like it."
1t would give us more patience with
ourselves If we always remembered
this. We would not get SO discour-
aged with our infirmities, imperfec-
tions and failures IL we always kept
in mind the fact that we are not yet
made, that we are only in process of
being made, that God is not yet
through making us. Rev. J. R.
Miller, DID.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
New Kind of Snort.

He had taken day off to go fishing.
but, alas! his luck had been very bad
and when, on his way home, fish.
mongers shop came into view he
was tempted and fell.
" want half dozen large trout,
he told the man.
Yes. certainly, sir" said the other
masking number one size grin with
correspondingly large hand. Twill
you take them with your"
Yes, please. And ! want you to
stand over there and throw them at
me-"
Thow them, sir?" echoed the Devil.
tered shopkeeper.
Exactly! My wife is sure to ask
me II cought them, and l cannot tell
lie."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Garlic Flavor in Milk.

Recent investigations in the dairy
division of the United States pureau
of animal industry have proved that
the flavor of garlic may be entirely
removed from milk by blowing air
through 1t while it is held at a tenn.
perature Of at least 140 degrees Fair
enheit. An exposure of 80 minutes at
las degrees is sufficient to free milk
from the most Objectionable flavor
A somewhat longer exposure is neces
sary for cream.-Scisntihc American
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Fully SUPPLIED,

Some time ago little girl who liv'
ed in rural community appeared at
the back door OF neighbours home
with a small basket In her hand.
Mrs. Smith," she said, as the
neighbor answered her timid knock.
mother wants to know If you won't
please lend her dozen eggs. She
wants to put them under hen"
Put them under a hem" was the
wondering rejoinder Of the neighbor.
Il don't know that you had 6. hen!"
I'VE haven't was the frank re-
Joinder of the little girl I'VE are
going to borrow the hen from
Mrs. Brown. "-Christian Endeavor
World
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

Bix-What nonsense to say that
one can't get the last word with a
woman; | found it easy enough to-
day.
Dix-You don't say! How did II
happen?
BiX-Why. | said to woman in
the car Madam, have my seat
Boston Transcript
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Outclassed.

Member of Anarchist Society-Gen-
tlemen, | wish to resign
President-But Wy, brozzer? Wy
would you leave us?
Member-Ach der ISIS no more
glory in ris bomb business; eet iss
becoming vulgar; everybody is dom
iti-Punch
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Work of Torpedoes.

Torpedoes cost over $1,000 each; con-
seQuently they are not discharged un.
less there is fair chance of hitting
the object aimed at. So far the yes.
sells hit by torpedoes have been sta.
tionary or only moving slowly; but it
is probable that as the crews of sub
marines become more expert they will
be able to hit warship occasionally
when she is moving at high speed
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
CUTICURA COMPILATIONS
Ara Usually Fresh and Clear, Soft and
VeIvety. Try One.

The Soap to cleanse and purify, the
Ointment to soothe and heal. Thus
these supercreamy emollients promote
and maintain the natural purity and
beauty of the skin, scalp, hair and
hands under conditions which II neg
lected might disflgure them.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. KY,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Lucky Escape.

The Desk Officer-Well, madam.
what's the complaint
The Complementary, sir / gave
man named Blinks, Jim Blinks, rs
cents to go to the court house an get
marriage license for me an him
an he never came back.
The Desk Officer-I congratulate
you, ma'am. Good day.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
They Clash.

What is the matter with the par
son and the doctor that they cannot
agree?'
The parson says the doctor is sc
contrary Just as soon as he gets
a man properly prepared for the next
world the doctor goes to work and
cures him."
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
No Chance for Argument.

Every man has some arguments
with his wife, | suppose" said the wor-
ried-looking man.
Henrietta and | never argue" re-
piled Mr.. Meekton, complacently.
Once in while | make a remark,
and Henrietta shows me exactly where
| am wrong. But we never argue" -
Washington Star.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Surely Not.

Client want you to sue for a
divorce and an allowance of $500
a year.
Lawyer-What is your husband s
income?
Client-lt's about that | wouldn't
ask for more than man makes.
Pm not that kind
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Rotation.

|. Are you going to have a garden
this year,"
No" replied Mr.. Growcher ut
isn't my turn to make a garden. I'm
going to keep chickens this year and
let my neighbor make the garden"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Not Much Acquainted.

Your husband" said the caller,
sympathizingly. was a lnan of excel
tent qualities"
Yes, sighed the widow, The was
good man. Everybody says so.
l wasn't much acquainted with him
myself He belonged to six lodges"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Doctors Advice.

Doctor-You must go away for 4
long rest.
Overworked Merchant-But. doctor,
I'm too busy to go away.
Doctor-Well, then you must stop
advertising.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Doubtful Assurances,

DO you think they approved of my
Easter sermon?" asked one of our
well-known ministers.
Eyes, think so" replied his wife;
they were all nodding'
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
important to Mothera
Dramatic Criticism.

How is that new play of Serb
blers?"
Dead slow. | took my old maid
aunt to see it, and it didn't even get
a blush out of her"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Reason for Chance.

Financier-That is not the same
tale that you told me a few days ago.
Beggar-No, sir. But you didn't be-
lieve that one.-London Mail.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
The Point of View

The Optimist-There nothing like
hope.
The Pessimst-There certainly isn't
for fooling a person.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

No man who has tried to split kin
ding with one believes George Wash
inGton chopped down a cherry tree
with his Ratchet.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

II q iaan will refrain from cOmbing
his hair over the denuded spot the
probabilities are that nobody will no.
tice the fact that he is bald.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Force of Habit.

Bookkeeper.-Hired a new stenog-
rapher. | see.
Manager,-Yes: the other one would
persist in adding postscnpts 10 my
letters
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

"p,eased to meet you" is one thing
4 man never says to a sight draft.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

the genius He is a crank ON only one
subject.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

It's womaus Imagination that keeps
her young-if she imagines people
can't see through a coat of paint.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

man doesn't give himself any the
worst of 1t when he tells the story
of his life to a woman.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

The world SEEING all the brighter to
lovers when the gas is turned low.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Only a Man Could be So Brutal.

She.-Do you like my new hat, hub
by?
He.-You bet. 1t covers up most
OF your face. - Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

Drink Oenloon's Coffee.
Always pure and delicious.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28

Kill the Files Now and Prevent
disease. DAISY FLY KILLER will do It.
Kills thousands. Lasts all season. All dealers
or six sent express paid for 81. Fl. 8OMERS,
$50 De Kalb Ave, Brooklyn, N Y. Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1915-05-28
Novelty.

Were you in the Easter parade?"
No" replied Mr.. Meekton. Il stood
on and looked on. | kind Of enjoyed
seeing Henrietta engaged in a hike
that didn't look like some kind of a
political procession"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

of difference in the cares and uses
of the two, but 1t does not seem like
so much difference after all The
whole routine is to bring about sue
cess and prosperity. 1t is very es-
sential that you feed and take care
of your COW or horse and 1t is just
about as essential that machinery is
given shelter in times of idleness.
The sun, rain, sand and winter
weather will injure machinery as
much as work Herewith, when the
machinery is permitted to stand out
in the open weather, while il 1t was
placed in shelter when not in use 1t
would give, very likely, twice as
much service as under the neglected
system. Take care of your valuable
farm machinery as you would your
stock. There is big profit in the
method. Times.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

Col. Roosevelt has come out i'm an
artic e in The Independent, entitled,
Ut pia or He'll" In this latest out
burst he would have all nations SCI
tie everything, except matters OF
nat onal honor, by arbitration, reserr-
ing for himself we presume, the
privilege of deciding what is or what
i, not a matter Of national honor
lie calls former President TAFT and
Secretary Bryan extreme pacific
isis, and those who disagree with
lis cratic theory Missionaries" aud
other endearing epithets. The Col
one llas been conspicuous by his all
s-nce from the front page for some
lime, and it is fit and proper he do
som thing so the dear public couldn't
forget he was still assisting the Al
mig ~ in regulating the universe.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

We have heard few good ones In
our time, but the following, taken
from the Texhoma Times. is about
as big as any we call to mind right
now:
"Tslk about the benefits of adver-
Using. Down in Florida not long ago
a family lost child which they sup.
posed had strayed away from home
and got lost. After searching in vain
for three days the frantic parents
placed al advertisement in the nearest
newspapers. Imagine the surprise of
the parents upon going to the door
the next morning TO see monsteral-
liga or upon the doorstep, where he
had disgored the child alive and then
died himself. The lad" cost them
but % cents, and it gave them back
their darling child; they sold the al
ligator hide for S. and the parents
are now showing he child in all the
dime museums of the land at $50 per
week. Does Advertising pay2
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15
What Is a Fair Rate7

We do not know what constitutes
basis for rate making and have never
heard of anyone who did claim to
know much about it, but if the pros
perity of the farm is a factor to be
considered and the railroad commits
sion concludes that an increase in
rates is necessary, we would prefer
that it come to us through articles of
consumption on their journey from
the factory to the farm. We would,
for example, prefer that the rate on
nogs remain as at present and the
rate on meat bear the increase, for
any farmer can then avoid the burden
by raising his own meat, and farm
er who will not try to raise his own
meat ought to be penalized, We
think the rate on coal and brick can
much better bear an increase than
the rate on cotton and flour. We
would prefer that the rate on plows
remain the same, and machinery,
pianos and such articles as the poor
er farmer cannot hope to possess bear
the burden of increase.
The increase in rates should be so.
arranged that the farmer who lives
at home will bear no part of the bur.
den, but let the farmer who boards
In other states and countries and
who feeds his stock in foreign lands,
pay the price Of his folly.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

Arthur Capper was duly ordained
Y Neraor of the state of Kansas last
Monday. While we are on the otner
de OF the political fence from Nj.
Capper We have admired the man
from disnance for several years, and
the pr gresslye principles which he
advocated from time TO time in his
different newspapers. But suggesting
these things through the press and
getting them shaped into laws are
two d ilerent things, and unless Gov
ernor Capper has docile legislature
TO act upon his suggestions, he will
bring none of his pet progressive
measures into being. The Democrat
wishes the new state administration
well, and, while it regrets to note the
passing of the former democratic
oni'iils, it harbors no i'll will toward
any of the new, and stands ready to
applaud any meritorious service the
new regime may render unto the
glorious state of Kansas.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

The series of railroad articles en-
ded in last weeks issue. We trust
our readers have persued theW care
fullya as they appeared every week
For the first time i'm recent years, the
railroads have taken The public into
their confidence and presented facts
and figures in support of their pro
posed request to the different legis-
latur,S for an increase i'm freight and
passenger rates, and we hope the
members of the law-making bodies
have given the matter careful con
sideration by this time. While
The railroads in the past have done
Things contrary to the spirit as well
as tie letter of the law, they are a
gigantic industry and asset in tie
nations welfare, and If their bust.
ness should be entirely ruined the
United States would soon recede to
the position it held before the Civil
War. The regulation by law Of com
mon arrierS~is necessary and good,
but it should be done by men who
a'e qualified to do SO in a sane mau-
N r and not by bunch of hot-house
pol ticians who seem hell-bent on
making big splurge in public to use
as campaign thunder before the folks
"Gack home. "
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

G. e. Woods and o. T. Wood re-
turned Friday from business and
pleasure trip to San Diego, and San
francisco, California. They attended
the exposition at San Diego while
gone o. 7. returned that night to
Topeka, where the U. S. Marshsl's
office gives him about all the bust
ness he can say grace over.
Mr.. and Mrs Don Henry returned
Friday from Dodge City, where they
were called by the death of Don's
father,
B. M. Jackson, the government
farm demonstrator of Beaver and
Texas counties, was an interested
visitor at the farmers Institute
here the last of the week.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

We were told the other day dhal
we had good chance to preach ser
mons through the press. But very
few folks like to he preached to OF
at. And the little country week.,
is not in the preaching business most
Of the time People want to read
about themselves and no sermon is
adequate if their name is not re
corded in the society columns. Yet
news may be seasoned with the sag,
advice that no one takes and ser
mon be preached about China or AT
RIGA on general principles. We
might do like William Allen White
write village sermons about real
people. change the names and be
come famous That is if we lived
long enough to get out the second
issue after the stories began EIig-
gins News.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

What has become of the old-fash
oned republican who professed tt
believe that the American hen would
ne put out OF business by her Chi
lese cousin If ever the democrats re-
duced the tariff on eggs? " OF
course it is somewhat Of a body
blow to the &. o. D., whose speaker.
predicted 30 cent wheat when the
democrats came into power, but &
whole lot Of farmers have concluded
that the price OF wheat is regulated
by the law of supply and demand
instead of by a protective tarilf.-La
rosse Chieftain.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

Alonzo Ford, who gained consld
cradle notoriety here a couple Of
years ago this winter, has again
taken up lodging in the county jail
Ford was arrested over a year age
on divers charges and gave bond fol
appearance at trial in the county
court, Hiram Packham and Ed Han
son signing his bond. He did not
appear for trial and the court threat
ened to bring suit on the bond, SO
when Peekham and Hanson recently
got wind that Ford was in Oklahoma
City they ordered the sheriff to sen6
after him, paying all expenses OF
Undersheriff Frank Shockley, who
went after him and brought him
back Monday night. ]. w. Bur-
CESS, who lives few miles southwest
OF town, made a pretty fair record
raising corn this year. From roo
rows 60 rods long, which measures
about 81 acres, he harvested 400
bushels, or an average of nearly sc
bushels to the acre. He always
raises good corn. but this year he did
better than usual. Mr.. Burgess is
SO years old, and If he keeps on, he
ought to he able to make pretty
good record after while. Forgan
Enterprise.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

NJ. e. Henderson has perfected an
other invention whereby h9 can oper-
ate his bell striker invention without
the aid Of an electric motor This
makes it possible to install the ma
chinery in towns where there is no
electricity. Mr.. HendersOn's bell
striker has been used as the clty's
lire alarm for the past year and has
proven very satisfactory. He Will
secure patent on The improvement
and put it on the market in the near
future. --Greensburg Signal.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

Senator Price may have been right
when he said that the whole nation
laughs at Kansas legislation, but
many years ago Kansas enacted pro-
bibition legislation and a few years
ago equal suffrage legislation was
adopted in the SunnOwer state. And
now at Washington, d. c., congress
is talking a little about passing ma
tional prohibition and national equal
suffrage legislation. Maybe the ma
ion does not always laugh at Kan
as legislation. Erie Record.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

The contest over representative
from Harper and Beaver counties hao
been settled by a certificate of cleo
ton having been issued to Howard
NJ. Drake of Dombey. the republican
candidate. This gives the republi
cans / Z members in the house of rep-
resentatives Of the state Legislature
Several threshing outfits have
been busy in this part of the country
almost constantly since the wheat
threshing was completed, threshlng
out the feed crops. consisting o.
Kahr, maize and feterita, and some
Of the threshers have informed II
that there is still enough unthreshe,
feed crops TO keep them busy TO
several weeks yet.-Beaver County
Republican.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15
SHEAR STEAL

Because Kansas man told the
police in Kansas City that he had
two cars of cattle at the stock yards,
the police threw him into a cell and
kept him locked up over night. And
the man had the cattle all right. 1t
isn't safe TO doubt the word of a
Kansas man these days, even If he
tells you that he has an airship or
submarine boat, for if he happens
to want one of those things lie will
get it.-Lawrence Gazette.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

II A. Land and wife are in .Ped-
mont, Oklahoma, at present. They
Went there to spend the holidays
with relatives, but the visit was
marred by the death of Mr. LANDS
father, Jonas Land, an old gentleman
who formerly lived in the Blue Bell
nelghborhood and Of whose death the
people OF Liberal will learn with
sorrow. Mr.. Land was Ill only few
hours.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

One sweetly solemn thouht comes
to Us DER and DER, the Democrats
now worth more than it was before.
We are going to start subscription
campaign some Of these days in which
we hope to enroll 'steen hundred new
names on our list. The new proprlc-
tor mt nds to make the Democrat
"toyer Seward county like the dew
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

Tell me not in mournful numbers
that our merchants are unwise. 'Tis
the business man that slumbers who
will never advertise. Life is real,
life is earnest, and if biz is on the
blink, see that quickly thou return
est to the use of printers ink. Art
is long and time is feeting, just be
neryy and keep brave, If your rivals
you'd be beating, make your ad your
silent slave In the worlds broad
field of strife; advertise, and make
things rattle, it will pay. betcher life.
Trust no future, howe'er pleasant,
do not trust to luck ahead; with no
advertisements present. how. can
business be but dead? Lives of bust
ness men remind us. we can have the
luck they've had, if we have our
nerve behind us and will place a
little adj You should then be up
and doing If you're going TO get the
cash; II your ad the world is view
ing, you will never go to smash.
Oehiltree Experimentation.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

The European war is developing
a. mighty fine crop of heroes" com
mented Judge Pettngill this morn
ng. but / stlll don't think any OF
them will have any more stars in
their crowns than a heroic Ghanuto
mother / know Of, who has worn
Ter life out struggling with poverty
lay after day and year after year,
Iut always with a smile on her face,
% that her boys and girls might he
iven the right kind of start in life.
Chanute Tribune.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

MIR. Stay-at-home, you are missing
s. me mighty good sermons, ditto
sing ny, by not taking in the reviyals
IT some Of the Liberal churches these
days. And what you hear won hurt
you Il bit if your conscience is clear
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

After due deliberation and locking
at matter from every angle, we
have about reached the conclusion
That the elder son was perfectly JUST
lied in kicking up rumpus over the
TODD made in honor of the prodiga S
TpLufu
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

1t is now time for the business men
to b. thinking about the spring clear
ance sales. The Democrat would be
pleas, d TO handle the publicity end
of any sales that are contemplated
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-01-15

Prof. Hamilton of Meade passed
through here Saturday night on his
way to Hooker, where he acted as
Judge in the Guymon-Hooker debate
that night.