The Washington herald., 1915-10-17
By HENRY WALLACE PHILLIPS
Al. q 4. E.,,or. PED SAiTNnrpS TIL.

at s clock to the tick. a Yell went up In
all the tongues that flesh Is heir to. He
bowed bowed. and bowed. He Cas simp-
ly dream. Never was there a warrior
rigged ou, just Ike that to swat a De-
vouring Demon. In the bright light of
the drug store one could make out that
he wore a pearl-gray cutaway coat. with
a vest of robin's-eSg blue. His panties
were a baby pink with a delicate green
stripe. His patent leather shoes were SO
small you'd think they couldn't hold feet.
His mus-staches were brilliaEtined till
they shone like a pair of polished buffalo
horns. He tUir,ea little cane. and the
last screech in white silk sat on the top
OF his head. Behind como the Faithful
Two-Dan and Harry-pushins a bag
gage truck. swaddled in American flags.
carrying the hand grenaGes. Then Big
Bill Morgan and LII Happy Jack. the
champeen trunk annihila tors of the ". p.
r. r. Bill stood six foot four and
weighed within fen pounds Of me. LII
Happy Jack had never been surveyed.
and he refused to get on the hay scales.
I can only say if he'd been white. and
took Bill and me out, at a distance folks
would think two nice little boys were go
ing for walk with their pa. Bill was
one Of those white-bleached seacoast
Yanks. and Happy Jack one of the most
pronounced brunettes I ever see. The
sunlight sunk into that SCOT skin Of his.
He looked like the entrance to coal
mine in broad daylight.
These two were the official fre-start-
ers. Happy Jack carried torch and Bill
a pitchfork. Both had cloaks of some
kind of red stuff on. Behind came the
Interocean Silver Cornet Band. Blug-
genheimer. the drugstore man. was the
first cornet and led the band. The band
was a little young and they had a new
set Of fnstruments-you could tell that
the moment they played. All the new
notes come out with raw edges on 'em.
and not Just the same kind OF notes the
other feller played. Sometimes you
wouldn't think II was even the same
tune. They looked good. though. and the
trombone felIer did his fart grand.
The Don took position by the boxes:
the baggage truck was wheeled up: BIZ
and Happy Jack looked fierce with their
weapons in their hands: the band played
My Country. 'Tis of Thee so you could
rdly tell il from piece of music: the
crowd hollered. and everything vas
lovely
The Don advanced and made a speech
I didn't hear what he said Didn't make
any difference. The crowd yelled some
more. and with a ma snificent sweep Of
his hand. the Don commanded Happy
ana Dill 10 HSnt Ile ITe. Dill HIteu tEe
papers with his pitchforh. and Happy
stuck in the torch. The FIRE jumped
heavenward in a second The Don held
up his hand for silence. It fell with a
dull thud.
"'Frien's" says he. Eff YOU weel hut
observe, There eet ees. the fire. which
onteel I have show you. eet ees not that
any man can conquer heem. Now may
you retire some nights in esafety. feel
t,r~ ooI %H,% or - La ,.,<Q
may to put dthat fire out eef he ees to
creep upon dju like tief in the dark.
Witness the wonderful. meeracoolus.
awe-perspiring effect of one leetle. leetle
hand grenade! Dju see me now. how I
raise the bottle. how I poosh back nv
hand-and with one throw-observe. now.
Ta,'
, tanned fire twenty foot IN the air. The
| crowd cheered something fierce. rh.
band struck up and the Don looked at
the fire. and something much like sur
prise come on his features.
Harry went up to him. Soak her. you
chump,' said he. The Don came back to
| life. He pelted first one and then an
other quart ,f sasolene upon that fire.
At this the fire lost patience and climbed
skyward. Somebody turned in a fire
alarm.
"'Toot-tooty-toot" says the machine
shop whistle. The fire boys were all on
the spot. but they jumped for their hose
carts.
Il hustled over to the Don. Hit her
up,' I yelled. This business amt going
right tolned in pelting rasolene at
the fire. By the time the hose conpa-
nies arrived It was time they got there.
| There were rivers of fire in the gutter.
fountains of fire in the sky. and pIenti-
full spurts of fire out sideways. You can't
do nothing with water on gasolene.
though. Everybody was set to shovel
ing dirt where there was a chance It
would get dangerous
AT this point. as per schedule. Buck
ley comes out with a warrant for the
Don's arrest on charge of high treason.
The poor little man put his hand to his
brow. BY this time he was moving like
a cigar-store Injun in q trance. He'd
lost track Of most everything.
so. when Buckley yells. 'Oi aperre-
hend an detain We on the charrrge of
conspirin' agin the pace ana dignity of
the United States of Americky in Com
Sress assembled and the roights OF man
in general the Don threw both hands
into the air and walled. 'Adios' Todo.
| todo estoy perdido,'
Right here's where the fun got Jolt.
and a girl shamed us. Lou Mullins burst
from CNe CrO"O. sent Buckley whlrltrS
with one swing of her arm. and turned
on the rest OF US. her gray eyes blazing
You're a fine lot of men saws she.
to torment and bedevil a kindly man
who has more goodness and sense In one
thought than You ever had in your
lives. Come, Have some fun with me.
now" says Lou. putting her arm
around him.
1T was pretty picture. darn my
eyes II it wasn't, Old Buckley Jump
ed to the front first
That's a gurl fer yer loifs- he
shouts. He turned to the music
Stroke up when give the woord.'
says he. Then he yells to the crowd.
'Disperse. ye haythen" and to the band,
Now"
Fall in. boys" hollered. Com
pany A. fa-a-ll in "
There never was a crowd like a
Dakota crowd to catch on At the
word. the hull shooting-match. male
and female. white, black. pink. and
yaller. fell in line behind the band.
and away We went to the nearest
tonic-bazar. leaving the Don and Lou
to settle II over the ruins.
We squared it all later. Gave the
Don a real demonstration. The coun .
ty passed a law that no home was
legal wieiout hand-grenades. or some
thing like that. The courthouse gilt
tered with EN-: Blhgzenheimer had &c
lay in a stock: their fame spread. One
old Intun medicine-man bought tive