davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
THE HOG AND THE HAM
~ Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright. 1915. by Frank Crane)

1t remained for Representative Gar
ner, Of Texas, in speech at the Atas-
cosa fair, to state epigrammatically the
creed Of the knights of the pork barrel.
Without a blush, says the Chicago
Post, he admitted that federal buildings
were being erected in his district at a
cost far in excess Of actual need. In his
own town they were putting up a $780,
900 postofiice, when a $1,000 building
would have sufficed. He was not muck
raking nor viewing with alarm; he was
Dragging, as follows:
"Now we Democrats are in charge Of
the House, and I'll tell you right now
whenever one of those Yankees gets
ham I'm going to do my best to get a
hog"
II anybody wants to know what's the
matter with United States preparedness,
here 1t is. Our defenseless condition is
not due to the stinginess of the Ameri-
can people; it is due simply and plainly
to q congress made up of selfish. unpa-
triotic, petty and grand grafters, who
have used appropriations to their own
political or financial profit, and not for
the good of the nation.
According to former Secretary Of the
Navy George l.. Won Meyer, this coun-
try has spent in the last Is years ST.
Csc, 100000 for the navy. During the
same time Germany spent 81, ,l37, 900 900.
Yet we have only 214 vessels to Ger
many's 362.
OF the s25O00O,00O we pay each year
for national defense S15O,0O0,OO0 is
squandered unwisely and 100000, 900
goes to the grafters who manipulate thu
pork barrel.
Of the AZ army posts throughout the
country, said recent editorial in a west.
ern paper, 40 are absolutely necessary.
To protect ourselves from the ferocious
Indians, who are mostly prosperous
farmers or harmless beggars, we have|
laid out S20,000,000 on Forts Apache,
Clark, Huachuca, Mackenzie, Meade,
Missoula, Robinson, Sill, ID. A. Russell.
Douglas, Leavenworth, Riley, and Shell
ing.
Against the raging red men of YER
mont we have drawn million dollarsI
from the treasury for Fort Ethan AL
len.
Fort Benjamin Harrison has cost q
million and half dollars TO prevent the
savages of Indiana from scalping the
citizens of Indianapolis, Fort Wayne,
and Terre Haute.
The navy ward scandals are even more
.urid. Twenty million dollars have gone
INTO the Mare Island Navy Yard, and not
battleship built since 1907 can get in-
20 it. For years the S20,O0O,OO0 navy
yard at Portsmouth, n. H., has been un-
suited to the purpose for which it was
created. The $4,000, 900 yard at Charles
on, S. c., is in shallow water, and the
So, 100000 yard at Port Royal, S. c., had
to be abandoned, since ships could not
get up to it.
Since we are rejuvenating the issue
Of patriotism these times and agitation
Tor greater army and navy it would
seem that the proper place for orators
20 crate bit for love of country would
be in the congress of the United States.
The first duty Of people, alive I'd
heir national danger is to scotch the
,opperhead snake of private graft, and
lect a few men to congress who will
evote their efforts to their country
nd not to the rake-of of their con-
,tituents.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
The G. O. p. Will Hardly Care
to Use the ALTERATION

While the Republican national COM
mittee was in session in Washington
thsre was q banquet at which some
body got up and said that the cry Of
IL party in 1916 against Wilson should
4 - Prosperity from murder, munitions
end mystery"
Th1t sounds good, but we would be
willing to wager that it never becomes
anything like . G. o. P. battle cry.
g Without dwelling at all upon the ques-
Y I'm of whether the ALTERATION would
\ H. fatr Or supported by the facts, it will
vue b adopted II the older heads in
(! III pAfty have anything to say about it,
1880 because It is an illiteration.
W Iho Grand Old Party had its expe-
rIonce away back in 1884 when three rs
'locaated James G. Blaine, Republican
- the presidency, and elected Grover
Z lnnd, Democrat.
- ~ r(o1nogable incident In political
>1 night when Blaine was
- Upo ~ home by = delegation
II lnASo III Just reolnsd Ms home after
& onnous tour of eonDnigning, tired
lo . the point Of su|Annstiou, but
nlod 10 receive the tslse1kion,
vsestsd from the laAnne Il
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
sheer Iasoiencs.

Charity Patisnt-Doctor. is there
any danger that the operation viii
prove fstal7
Really. my good man, consider.
ing that We srs experimenting on
you free Of charge your idle curl.
nsity smscks Ct insolence.---Life.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
HIS REASON

II think" said the editor. In worried iona
that will drop Journalism and take to astron'
Dmy."
why"
because astronomers have more spaca thai
they know what to % vith."-Herald and Pres
|bytoS.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
An Expert

. "our minister makes hundreds Of
converts BY his astonishinsiy fasc'
uating descriptions Of Heaven
mo wonder! He used to be O.
real estate ageut--lifo. ~
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
Let the People
Rule-and Write
Give IL q Fair Trial.
To the Editor Of The Times:

TO the Editor or The Itmes:
Being an admirer Of q newspaper
that endeavors to report only such
news as you have every reason for
believing authentic. l feed inclined
To write you and tndorse your edi-
to-ial article of the 18th inst. re-
garding that excellent saver OF time,
the skip atop plan.
Why wasn't the idea given . fair
trial before being discontinued! ]
rode out to Wulis-ave. under the
new system and must admit the I'm
provement was very noticea BILE.
There II nothing more annoying. in
my estimation, when you're pushed
for time. than to have the car stop
at every corner. In fact there II
nothing more nsrvewrecking under
the sun. imagine the D. U. r.
could obtain the good viii and sane.
ton Of these kicksrs By having .
wheeled chair meet them On return
Ing from business and deposit them
at their own residences. thereby say.
ius them FROM committing the al
most universal twentieth century
crime OF walking. II will eventually
have to be approved. anyhow. for II
Is an utter impossibility. with such
a rapld-growiny city a. Detroit. to
handle the trsfic satisfactorily with
the present methods. Here's hoping
the plan will set . fsir trial In the
hear future.
ALFRED r. HOLT.
No. SIG Twenty.third-st-
Detroit. Dec. IL, 1915.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16

Friend-Are YOU taking good care
of your coidf
sufYcrer-You bet I am, I've had
II six weeks and IT'S as good a. new.
Judge
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16

there are so many easy ways to get into
police station.
Rather a bad turn and a bad spill. we
would say, for those motor speedway
stockholders.
One time. after he had been out all night
gambling and had lost all his money, he
came home so enraged over his loss that he
took his spite out my hat and my watch
He tore up the hat. The watch he threw on
the floor and then jumped on IL until he had
mashed II into bits.-Testimony Of a De-
troit wife in divorce court.
You've met the fellow, perhaps: the
one who says: II don't mind losing the
pot; that amt the idea; whadda-I-care
about few chips?"
Complainant in a Kentucky breach of
promise suit says the defendant pro-
posed to her while she was riding with
him in his automobile. Maybe he was
skidding.
A Syracuse man has managed to save
$412 out of 5000 earned this year. 1t
may have been this fellow of whom the
old waiter remarked: The only tip +
ever got from MIN lost.
John Munday has regained his strength
and gave a glimpse OF himself on our
streets yesterday for the first time since
his sickness.-State Exchange
The editors glimpse of Mr.. Munday
was, we take it, the first of the weak.
A woman in Los Angeles Is suing the
dentist for putting into her mouth some
body else's false teeth. And the dentist
don't dare put in defense that she is
entertaining a wrong impression.
Bankruptcy proceedings suggest that
Albert NJ. Barnes could hit a flock of
creditors.
A few more wives for that Detroit man
who is alleged TO have three and his
would be case Of almost public owner
ship.
Anna B. Stahl, Of Denver. Is suing her
"Heaven-made husband" for S75. 900 ali
mony. 1t may be Anna's opinion that
money is homemade.
1t was this way. 1t wouldn't run, so
CAD left it out in the country somewhere
at the side OF the road and came in the
rest Of the way on an interurban.
Then he called up garage and told
them to go out and get it and find out
what was the matter with it, which the
garage did, and when the man got back
to the garage with it he called up CAD
and told him what the matter was, which
was that the gasoline was turned of.
which. no doubt, explained why it
wouldn't run.
Qoceofs recommend goats milk for
Cows milk, they contend, Is
! - "a
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16

We've all got bad colds at our
Is the common expression.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
JUST ONE LARGE FIZZLE

We were being ground UP. absorbed. as
inflated by the Standard OIL octopus
But, a decade or more of the finest sort OF
-tatecraft had given us law TO relieve u.s.
The United States supreme court Punloosened
The tentacles OF the octopus, unscrambled the
rust a. some put II, rendered decisions irl
ended to prevent enormous profits being exI
orted out OF US
Where are the octopus and We today;
The octopus is here as fragmentary octopus
md we're in the octopus.
Same old situation. only more so.
Stock in the New York tentacle OF the octopu,
selling Mt 204. In the New Jersey at 4s7, the
pdiana at 457, the California at 326 and in the
prairie OIL a Gas at $50.
Ten advances In prices OF oils and gasoline
have been made In the Middle West since
August and an ocean of yeast seems 10 have
been stirred into the market everywh here
The octopus is Just the same old success
fully ravenous beast and we're Just the same
OLD. helpless 'meat." in spite OF all the law.mak
ing, yelling OF bloody murder. prosecuting, and
,aIcnt of the ". 8. supreme court
Thus far, regulating" monopoly has proved
a miserable, openfaced farce and hzzle
n a monopoly can't be controlled, IL should be
killed.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
From An0fheT Point of VieD
By c. T. S.

1t is planned to have Christmas tree
in every police station. Fine. And it
won't inconvenience Santa much. either
there are so many easy ways to get into
q police station.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16
FIND JOY IN DUTY

AODN0ToN BRUCE.
The Detroit times., 1915-12-16

Rather bad turn and bad spill, we
would say, for those motor speedway
stockholders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
WANTED-BOARDERS

EXCELLENT table board, desira ble rooms with hot and cold water, steam heated moderate prices. one block from Five Points. 1900 s. 11th ave. Main 7l0.
 11-17-7t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

Mrs. C.. T. Mayfield will entertain the Twentieth Century club this afternoon at her home on Norwood boulevard
 The Edgewood. club will hold meeting this afternoon at o'clock with Mrs. E. B. Afford, 141O St. Charles street.
 The Outlook club will meet this after noon at 10:30 o'clock with Mrs. Lee Nor row as hostess.
 Clionian club will hold a meeting this afternoon at 2:30 with Mrs. W. A. Porter as hostess.
 A social and musicale will be given this evening in the parlors of the First Baptist church. The musical programme will be- gin promptly at 7:45 and reception will follow.
 On account of an unavoidable delay the bazaar to be given by the ladies of the South Highlands Methodist church will open next week instead of this week, as first planned. Mrs. Frank Turpin. chair man, announces there will be sale of fancy articles choice pure food products, and the usual dinners.
 pr. H. M. Edmonds will give his lec- ture "A Cattle Boat Trip to Europe" this evening at o'clock in West End hall. This entertainment will be under the auspices of the Vine Street Presby- terian church.
 All prizes intended for the card party to be given by General Sumter chapter, Daughters of the American Revolution, Tuesday afternoon at the Southern club, should be sent to Mrs. J. R. Estes, 2200 South Fourteenth avenue Mrs. Estes re- quests that all members meet Saturday afternoon at o'clock at her home.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
German Potato Salad

will you please send me a recipe good old German potato salad? F. H.
 Cut cold boiled potatoes into cubes uniform size and mix with them a rs onion of medium size, chopped fine, a a tablespoon of finely minced parsl, Mix well without breaking the poi toes; season to taste with salt a pepper and two tablespoons of salad with one of vinegar. Toss and tu lightly and put into a salad bowl S in ice for two hours. Just before ser ing stir into the salad half cup mayonnaise and pour the same quan ty over the top. Or. should you pref simpler salad, how would this do? c the cold potatoes into suitable size a add a parboiled onion which has be allowed to get cold and been chopp fine. Season with pepper and salt taste, and pour over the salad a F-en dressing made with five tablespoons oil and two of lemon juice. Toss well and set :n ice for two hours fore serving. Take your choice. Bd recipes come under the head of Cd man potato salad.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
Society
tContinued from Page SIX,

Mrs. Churchill Marks. entered together. The bridesmaids and the matrons wore beautiful dresses of soft taffeta in tones of rich yellow changing to rose. The gowns were fashioned round length and were artisticalIy trimmed with lace and tulle. They carried shower bouquets of sunset roses tied with yellow maline
 The bride entered on the arm of her father. MT. J. Craig Smith, by whom she vas given in marriage. She was a beau tiful picture in her wedding gown, an ex- quisite creation of rich Spanish lace with a court traine of white duchess satin falling from her shoulders The soft draperies of lace were caught with orange blossoms and valley lilies. Sprays of orange blossoms wreathed her veil of white illusion and real lace. She wore handsome diamond and platinum pin, the gift of the groom, and her flowers were a lovely bouquet of orchids and brides roses showered with lilies of the valley.
 MT. Stakley was attended by Mir. Jack Vardaman as best man and the ceremony was performed by the Rev E. F. Cobbs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

w. F. KELLY, practica1 prumber, 506
 S. 20th st. Phone Main 3471. S-18-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

WANTED-One pair Maxwell cylinders, model oil, size 3s4xS Call Main 249S-W.
 u-16-3t u-fri-su
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
TaffY Annles

will you please send me at yo
 earliest convenience a recipe for ma
 ing taffy apples? I have tried seveI times to make them but the candy VI not get hard. have store and wal
 to make taffy apples to sell. I shou appreciate cheap way of maki1 them. PAULINE R. .'1
 I offer this with diffidence, not bell sure that it will meet your want. I hal seen apples sugared in this manner tn did not grow sticky or melt. Prepd syrup by mixing pound of confd tioners sugar with scant half pl of water Boil without stirring until "strings'' and is brittle. Add desse1 spoon of lemon juice and take from Il fire. Set the saucepan in boiling watt Run stiff wire or stout straw into Il stem end of lady apples and dip, one a time, into the syrup. Hang by q
 wire or straws from line to dry. I3 dip when they are dry until you hal the right thickness of coating. Readd may tell you of better way of gaini| the desired end.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
R MARION $ I HARL.ANUS \
 HEIlp PING HAND
Cleaning Brass and Copper
By "Hop
Ae1Hxry3,s Kz,zxsd


 Will you be kind enough to let I know of good liquid for cleanil brass and copper--a liquid which I c mix myself and Is harmless to t hands. and not a dangerous explosi, but still effective to metal? I shall looking for your answer In the Corn in the near future. MRS J. L. s. There are, of course. proprieta preparations for cleaning brass whi may be had in the shops. know of home made liquid brass polish. If hou mothers have formulas for the san they will oblige our correspondent a, the Corner by sending them in. The c fashioned method of cleaning brass a copper was effectua1, if tedious. A pas of powdered bath brick and paraffin applied. and, when dry, is rubbed with pulverized bath brick. A paste powdered chalk or fuller's earth al lemon juice may be used in the sar way with satisfactory effects. Be on t watch for the liquid cleanser suppli by kindly sister housewife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

ROOMS with good board very cheap 1916 5th ave. 10-30 30
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
MRS. PAISLEY IS
 CLUB HOSTESS

Mrs. Newton Paisley entertained the members of her bridge club and 8. few additional friends yesterday afternoon in Norwood. when her home was prettily decorated with ferns and chrysanthe- mums. Following the game dainty luncheon was enjoyed.
 The club personnel follows: Mrs Philip Alexander, Mrs. Eli Pigman. Mrs. Will liam Simmons. Mrs. Gordon Moughon, Mrs. William Moughon, Mrs. E. B. Pen nington, Mrs Shook, Mrs. Sam Nance, Mrs. Gregory Johnson, Mrs. w. J. Las siter Mrs. John Wood and the hostess. The extra guests for the afternoon were: Mrs w. B. G. Marlborough, Mrs. McClel- Ian, Mrs. William F. Johnston, Mrs. B. w. Hendrix and Mrs Julian Goslin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
What Has Become Off,

From the Louisville Herald.
 The d-fashioned man who used lose his watch key?
 The old lady who didn't know to tango. but was forever forgett where she put her tatting?
 The dude who wore a brown de and a cutaway coat? [ The fiend who used the old-fashio muffler cut-out?
 The automobile with the dor in back end of the tonneau?
 The bicycle clubs that used to mi the country side every Sunday?
 The red flannel chest protector?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
Thread Stain on White Goods

There was a black thread stitch in my best white top shirt and when t skirt was washed the thread left ugly stain. Is there any way in which can remove the mark? should be gl to see a formula printed in the Corn either through you or some one co nected with it. I will be glad to se some household suggestions on recei of word through the Corner, telling I how I can remove the mark
 "M. E. e. Wet the stain with chlorinated sod leave 1t on for 10 minutes; rinse al lay in the sun for an hour; then rene the application and rinse as before the end of 10 minutes. Leave in the s all day. if there remain any sign of t stain, weting hourly with lemon jui' This process is slow but sure and dd not weaken the threads of the fabricl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

WHITE chauffeur with two years expe- rience wants Job driving private or pub lie car; can repair car; can furnish Ali reference. Call or write Rillar Davis, 3o15 Ave. B, Ensley. Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
FOR ass s
 ANNIVERSARY OF EUMENEANS

The Eumenean Literary society of Bir- mingham college will hold it's anniver- sary in the chapel this evening at 8 o'clock. The public is invited. The fol- lowing programme will be given:
 Welcome address. George H. Randall. Piano solo. Miss Ruth Gregory Kim brough.
 Grafton, Bachman G. Hodges.
 Vocal solo, Miss Flora Jones.
 Debate, Resolved, That Education Is the Best Solution of the Negro Prob lem.' Affirmative. w. F. Armstrong, E. w. Burns negative, J. c. Hatcher, Ira Pegues.
 Music, college quartet
 Decision of the judges.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
Tree Cake Recine Wanted

"Could you tell me of a recipe 1 tree cake? ate it in restaurant t last part of August. INQUIRER
 A recipe for tree cake passed throu the Corner two ar three years ago. | do not know to whom it went. She respectfully urged to let us have 1t 1 your benefit. Or anybody who may ha such formula will obilge us by ma ing 1t public
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
MRS. MORROW PLANS
 LUNCHEON FOR VISITOR

Mrs. Hugh Morrow has asked a few friends to have luncheon with her at the Southern club Saturday, compliment ing Miss Alice Hunter, the guest of Miss Margaret Moore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
Want Ads For THE AGE-HERALD can be left at

Florence Hotel Cigar Store, 2d Ave. and 18th St John L. Parker, 1st Ave. and 20th St. biowIrMarx Cigar Store, list Ave. and 20th Flrst National Bank Cigar Store, 2d Ave. goth Iamml Drug Co.,. 2330 2d Ave. hlssell Pharmacy, HOO N. 18th St Nlilner Drug Co.,, 1900 Huntsville Ave. NorWood Pharmacy 2631 18th Ave, N. lWentytirst Avenue Drug Go, 2601 Fist Ave, N. alker Drug Co, 2707 29rh Ave. N. Qdlnn Drug Go, 800 Tuscaloosa End. west End Drug Co., 1122 Tuscaloosa Ave, End. Cheek Drug Co.,, 2200 Ave. F. s, cigar counter Magnolia Pharmacy, Magnolia Point, S., cigar counter East End Drug Co, 600 27th St. S.. cigar counter
 e4d fnarlnacy, 2720 Ave c, S., cigar counter Maurice Letaw, 143O 11th Ave, S., cigar counter.
 Ne Points Drug Co.,, Five Points, S..
 ~ond Pharmacy 18th St Charles St. s. cigar
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

COALGood, clean, 325 per ton. South
 ern Coal Yards. 18th st. and Avenue E.
 Phones 769-9123. 11-16-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

FOR SALE-C. c. Conn Slide Trombone, silver -plaited with case Good as new. s25. Special bargain. Williams Music House. Everything in Music" 1918 Sd ave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

INDIAN MOTOCYCLE-Fo sale, with side delivery car; practically new; will sell cheap for cash. Capitol Park
 Motor Co. 11-19-2t-sat-mo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
ONE CENT A WORD
SITUATION WANTED

RATES-One cent n word day; nd,
 taken for less than 25c for first fnser- tiOn. Cash must aecOmDany order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

S25 kitchen cabinet just like new, at S14. Wise Furniture Co, 2210 2d ave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

LADY employed as secretary to college president wishes stenographic work dur ing day; competent, quick, intelligent.
 with initiative ability; prefer law Main
 3545. 11-19-3t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

SEVERAL very delightful rooms for rent to gentlemen; private bath and garage if desired. FIT Highland ave.
 Phone Main 239S-J. S-5-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
ONE CENT A WORD
FOR KENT-ROOMS

RATES-Onc cent word a day; no ad. taken for less than 25c for first fnser- tf0n. Cash must accompany order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
ONE CENT A WORD
FOR SALE

RATES-One cent a word day. no nd.
 taken for less than 25c for first fnser- ton. Cash must Accompany order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19

FOR RENT-Furnished room, with or without private bath; beautiful South Highland home. Main 6O55-J.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-19
Ads under the head of situations wanted are free to deserving oneA

COLORED boy wishes position as house boy: can run 8 gasoline engine; age 1T. Address Samuel Warner. Luverne. Ala, care of J. A. Beall, R. F. D. No. 10e.
 11-1Y- 2f