The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-11-14

hanna.
Some Teller said words are the
instruments of thought. Blame poor
instruments, when a man thinks
the thoughts I think, when 1 think
of the pies of Aunt Johanna. Why,
them pies were like the worlds best
romance, wrapped in forty-horse-
power sunset. One slice of that pie
was equal to love affair and two
good bets on a horse race. One
bite of that pie and l would lend
my worst enemy my brand new
razor. Just to smell of it put me
in such a frame of mind that Pete
Skellet, the Alkali Poet, could read
his product to me and 90 away
without getting his hair mussed.
Now, if this was the effect on
me, well-fed Christian white man,
what do you suppose them pies
tasted like to half-starved, heath
en- Red Injun?
III bet you could stack I'D the
beauties of the past two hundred
years on the reservation, and Aunt
Johanna would put them down for
the count with a single pie.
This. as | have stated, l plainly
see in looking backward. At the
time, | was so busy smuggling stuff
out from under the unkind eve of
Amelia, and being sure that nobody
piped my trail on the way to Bull,
that | never give these fancies a
thought. Indeed, if you got an or
der from the court and searched
my mind the only idea on the sub
iect you'd been able to find was
the innocent joy | felt, at being so
we'll disguised by the presence of
Aunt Johanna.
| didn't know she was in the PLAY
at all. So things ambled for awhile.
To amuse our friend, we put a
horse-blanket on the ground and
played poker. Not for fun, neither
Aunt Johanna wasn't
that kind Of sport. We PLAYED five
to a cent, and when Aunty
got set of threes she'd raise Bull
and me out of our shoe leather.
She didn't seem to sense the idee
that the hands could go higher. We
made d picture. the three of us
playing poker for dear life. with
the Bad lands for background. The
good old Bad lands lying out there
like the skeleton of everything that
ever was. Clean though. Dead.
white-bleached, but clean. And one
Bad 1niun, one red-headed cow
puncher, and Aunt Johanna! Yea,
II was a Scenel
How in thunder the pair man
aged to get planning with me right
on the JOB is more'n I'll ever tell
YOU, but one day, after Aunt 10
hanna had cooked us the king-pin
OF all Suppers, she amt there: shes
And some Of her clothes
amt there; nor is the horse she
used to ride; gone too are three
lovely pies she baked the night be-
fore.
All that's known to be left is two
notes. One to Jim and one to
When Jim opens his couple of
yellow backs fall to the ground and
the letter knocks him so he don't
stooP to pick 'ern up. He hands
ME the note and | read:
Dear Jim: No fool like an old
TOOL I've skipped with the only man
ever liked. Enclosed will pay 5or
the horse and buy a rattle Tor the
baby. Keep Amelia jumping and she
won't weep so much. God bless YOU
and all the boys. Aunt Johanna"
Well! says Jimmie. Well"
says he. And then he says, She
had sense enough to grab what she
wanted. l hope to the Good LORD
She. happy"
And | said Keno" to that.
Amelia'S note was d little dif-
ferent. Jim made a copy of it, and
brought it out to me. 1t said:
Dear Amelia: Full oft have
thought about your noble ideas con-
corning the heather. To whom else
could, | now turn so sure OF SYM
pathy as you? I've got one of nv
own to feed and take care of. He
stands six foot sly on the soIos -
his feet, and he'd send John L. Sui
Ivan TO the repair shop if he took
a dislike TO him. That's the only
kind OF heather | can stand for. Per-
haps can feed him into a Christian.
We leave for parts unknown tomor-
row.
I'VE women should hold together
for the right, Amelia, and if every
harmed cantankerous old maid would
pick out a healthy heather and fly
with him, this world would be a bet
Ter place. Don't fall down on the
cookery, and I'll remember you in
my will-honest. And besides, Jim
my is on to you now. He may light
put with lady heather if you put
I on him too hard. Be good to the
boys and they'll be happy.
Aunt Johanna"
There was one more little note
didn't mention. 1t was for ME.
t read:
"Good-by- Red and thinL- EipdIv