The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1915-02-18
kELLINeER's INSOMNIA
BY DOROTHY DUNN.

COulou btctps AL uib iAAo
he had been bothered that way. For
no reason whatever sleep would sud-
denly desert him and when It aban-
doned Kellinger IL abandoned the rest
Of the family, meaning Mrs. Kellinger
and the bulldog.
When Mrs. Kellinger would an
nounce sadly to their acquaintances
that Tom had begun waking up at
one o'clock and staying awake till six
or not going to sleep at all until half.
past-three 1t was exactly as tragic as
though she was breaking the news
that he had fallen victim to the
suicide habit or had begun numbering
people again after a short vacation.
Those to whom she spoke always had
an uneasy feeling that they ought to
send flowers or something.
Kellinger absolutely refused to go
to the doctor about 1t. He said the
physician would merely ask him II he
had embezzled any trust funds or had
anything else on his conscience, and
would appear annoyed because he
hadn't.
TITS just nerves." Kellinger would
say in martyred tones. 81 wake up
and then I begin thinking and l can't
stop. worry about what would hap
pen II ten years from now long, hard
winter should set in and didn't have
any work. Then there Is Uncle Dave,
who has Just invested all his money in
gold mine, and what II he should
lose It! And think of the sufferings
of the people over there In the Bal
kan regions during this cruel war!"
IF Tom didn't have such an absurd
ly tender heartl" Mrs. Kellinger
would sigh proudly.
That is, she sighed proudly till the
sleepless streak had continued for
some time, and then she grew peevish
from lack of slumber. At first she
would read aloud to Kellinger or
would arise and. descending to the
kitchen, would concoct unholy two
o'clock lunches of fried egg sand
wiches to lull him to sleep. Later on
she took to making remonstrances.
Following these heart to heart talks,
Kellinger gave up coffee and cigars
and once in while managed to sleep
the night through, bnt more often he
didn't.
IF you we're twins. now" Mrs. Kel-
linger murmured reproachfully one
night at three O'Clock at Kellinger,
who sat propped up sociably against
the bedpost with the reading light on
full blast. Il suppose shouldn't mind
being awake like this. I'd expect It.
But I don't mind telling you secretly
that I'm (yawn) getting aw-aw (yawn)
fully tired OF It! I'm just dead for
sleepl"
Are you sleepy. dear?" Kellinger
asked. in hurt tones. What wouldn't
give to feel that wayl"
Whereupon Mrs. Kellinger felt
ashamed OF her desire to sleep and
read aloud from The Theory of Hot
Water Heating until she toppled
over, sound asleep
Kellinger really suffered. He said
II 1t kept up much longer he would
go crazy. he knew All the Kellingers'
friends we're intensely interested in
the situation BY their advice Kel-
linger drank hot milk before retiring,
drank cold milk. put hot water bag
under his head and then an ice bag,
stood on his head and walked on his
hands. breathed in six times and out
six times, crossed his fingers and
counted Jumping sheep.
When they were out in the even
ing Mrs. Kellinger had the habit of
watching her husband neryously. and
if his eyelid twitched she would grab
the person next to her and moan:
tom is going to have another sleep
less night" she would say. "He is
getting the blinksl Poor man,
don't know what is going to become
of him! Isn't 1t awful Dearie!" to
the afflicted one, "sit over here where
YOU won't get the cigar smoke-it
makes you nervous, ] knowl"
All OF this happened before the ar
, rival of Mrs. Shandle. who had known
Kellinger at the misunderstanding age
, habit. The first time she was present
at one of these sad exhibitions she
: transfxed the Kellingers with a dis
! gusted glance and spoke her mind.
I stuff and nonsense. Tommy Kel-
lingerl" said she. 81 never heard of
, such tomfoolery! | never saw a per
| son put on the airs you do! Are you
) any better than any one else that you
can't sleep as the rest of us do? You
r say that your life is without reproach,
and If it is there's no excuse for your
not sleeping. The idea! Smoke that
> cigar and drink that cup of coffee and
= go home and go to bed and go to
/. sleep, You're perfect goose!
, think the trouble is that your head is
Z only big enough for one idea at time
. and you've grown attached to this
, sleepless idea and hate to tell It to
. move on. I'm ashamed of you! And
4 your wife is an easy mark!"
e 81 think she is horribly rudel" Mrs
D Kellinger kept saying all the way