The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-04-03

Last mite ia naQ SOSnullSt up 10
the house to dinner. His nain is
Mister Fergstrum. He was Swede.
Pa called him Fergy. Ma dident like
him vary we'll.
Wife, sed Pa, allow me to present
my deer friend Fergy. Me & him has
been talking together & we have dis.
covered that we think exactly alike on
most subjecks & so l brot him up to
dinner. Fergy. sed Pa, shake hands
with my wife, the best pal I ever mad.
& this is my little son. Bobbie, sed Pa.
am sorry to meet you sed Mister
Ferguson beekaus know that under
the present condishuns you & yure
trends, mothers & children alike will
feel the iron heel of poverty before
you die. Conditions are cursed in this
county, sed Mister Fergstrum.
herd conditions was bad, sed Ma,
but l dident think they was as bad
as all that. So far as we are con-
cerned we have butiful hoam d
three meals a day for Bobbie & me,
& a meel for my luving husband when
ever he feels like Getting. witch isent
always, sed Ma.
Thare you go, sed Pas friend, con-
tented with the littel you got wen you
mite have moar. Hevvings, he sed,
the swine are contented with thare
husks & swill, & they will always be
contented, sed Pas friend. Look oaver
the pages of history, he sed, & what
do you find? You find the rich OPP
pressing the poor. you find in many
cases instances of such terrtBul pow
erty as wud maik your soul revolt.
That is rite. Fergy, sed Pa, tell my
wife about things in yure country.
was coming to that, sed Pas friend.
Oaver in my deer Sweden the poor get
nuthing. Is that so, sed Ma. then they
must change thare ways wen they
come over heer. l had . Swede SER
want CURL last year Ma sed & she got
almost everything ! had before l dis
charged her. She got six of my shirt
waists & q lot Of gloves & things. But
let us have dinner, sed Ma.
So we all set down to dinner
Ma sed to Pas friend. will you have
littel OF this lamb roast.
l suppose / will sed Mister Fergs-
trum but it is aggenst my best in
stincts to take food when l think OF
the sobbing thousands witch Is with
out so much as crust of bred. Be-
lieve me the time will cum wen the
peepul will rise & the cutters will run
with blood. Heds will fall & lharts
will feel the tuch of steel, sed Pas
friend.
How vary terribul. sed Ma. Let me
help you to sum moar Of the lamb &c
sum Of this mint sauce, & sum baked
potatoes. Very we'll, sed Mister Ferg-
strum, IL you must, but evvry bite 1
take maiks me remember sum poor
hungry soul in the slums. Then you
must have a good memory, sed Ma,
bekaus you certainly takes bites
enuff. But doant eet II 1t chokes you,
sed Ma.
Wen the dinner was oaver. Pas friend
wanted to talk sum moar, but Ma
yawned & then he went hoam. Doant
bring that man heer aggen, sed Ma
to Pa. If you do will shut the door
in his face. All rite, sed Pa. You
know It is all rite, sed Ma.
Yesterday wen Pa got up & calm
to breakfast in the morning he sed
to Ma. we'll deerest, l am going tor
quit smoking. Newer aggen for me.
sed Pa. 1t is a cursed habit & a
considerable tax on the helth & the
purse. / am through, sed Pa.
What is yure reason for quitting,
sed Ma. I newer asked you to quit.
am going to stay home all day to-
day and work on my new novel witch
I was telling you about the other day.
Not a puff Of the cursed nicoteen
shall get into my system today OF
ever after, sed Pa. l shall rise SUI
perior to the chains Of habit. Pa sed,
by the sheer strength of my iron will.
Then Pa had breakfast & began
to work on his novel. How happy /
feel, sed Pa to know that have shook
Off the shackles OF tobacco. All reddy
/ feel like a better & noabler man.
Pa was riting a funny chapter in
his novel & laffing to himself & hum
ming a song. After vile Pa dident
hum any moar & he dident laff eether.
He KEEP riting pages Of his novel &
tearing them up. The moar he rote
the moar he tore up. Well. deerest,
sed Ma, wen the dishes was finished,
I think Il will go out & do a little
shopping.
That is no news TO me. sed Pa. all
you do is go shopping. But my deer.
sed Ma, am going shopping for you.
not for me. I am going TO buy you
sum shirts & socks q neckties- I
saw sum luvIy ones at that hnber-
dashery stoar next to the cigar stoar
whafe you used to buy yure cigars
before you quit smoking this morning. |
Doant bother buying ennything for
messed Pa. can worry along in
these minor league buds wieh am
wearing. poant fret yurself about me. |
j win try to struggle along In the
oald way IN order that you may have
"