Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1915-04-16

/ ELECTED the loudest demonstration Of
applause was this:
81 want to tell you the girl who
scrubs your floor, cooks your grub and
washes your dirty duds is just as good
as you are if she lives right"
At a point where he discarded his
coat, "Billy" was describing, amid
shrieks of laughter, the conventional
old church elder, who has taken so
many pills that his joints have be-
come bali bearing, and his voice is sor.
ter of a cross between q canemill ana
a jackass."
He declared that the hour has arri,,,
ed for plainness Of speech on the part
of the preachers, and he lectured
roundly the two or three score Of
clergymen who had vacated their own
pulpits to sit in a reserved triangle OF
kitchen chairs to hear the %up-to.date
gospel.
Il see Professor West, of Princeton,
does not believe in my methods" he
shouted. Neither does the devil. You
can't get rid of sin 80 long as you
treat it like a cream puff instead of a
rattlesnake.s You can't brush sin
away with a feather ,duster. They
say I am sensational. Nothing could
be more sensational than II some Of
you people should become decent"
Then. turning his batteries upon the
preachers reservation, he t%hundered:
"And nothing could be more sensation
al than if some of you ministers
should begin to preach the truth. The
hour is come to believe in REVEALS;
Ell, yes, the hour is come. But some
Of you don't believe in REVEALS, and
neither does the devil, so you're like
your daddy"
The morning text was from Second
Timothy, H., Is, "Study to show thy
self approved under God a workman
that need.h not to be ashamed"
"A good many preachers" he said,
mo longer preach hell. They have. al
ready put out their fires and locked
the doors; they've made every man
his own saviour and have pitched Cog
into a scrap heap"
B'avatskyism, or theosOphy, he de-
scribed as a silly cult. trying to teach
the transmigration of souls. "And that
MEANS" said he, that you ought not
to shy a bootjack at a tomcat doing
a stunt on the back yard fence, be
cause that cat might be your neigh
boris daughter who used to take mu
sic lessons"
Christian Science he described al
"about three per cent religion, three
per cent mental suggestion, three pei
cent R,indu philosophy and ninety.one
per cent humbug."
"Neyer has there been a time
cried the r%evivalist, when there were
so many spurious isms and schisms
preached in America in lieu of reli
gion. And the modern preacher II
largely to blame for 1t. He's talking
about evolution instead Of redemption
To hear him talk you couldn't tel
whether man came from the Garder
Of Eden or from a geological garden
All right, but if your ancestors came
from a monkey with a jabberine
mouth and p%rehensile tail why. mine
didn't. To hell with evolution. Tt
perdition with all such highbroW
stuff"
Be~lleshazzar's Feast in Slang.
Half an hour before the evening
meeting a violent thunderstorm broke
over Paterson, but the tabernacle wal
jammed in spite of it and hundreds
who arrived after the police closet
the doors turned away in the rain AM
went home.
The r~evivalist preached on the "Ter
Commandments" and began with 3
characteristic pen picture Of the feat
of Belleshazzar in Babylon and the
appearance of the mystic handwriting
on the wall:
Louder and louder became the mu
sic played by the Oriental bands and
faster and faster few the feet Of the
lewd and partly nude dancing women
as they wriggled and wormed them
selves down the hall, between the
tables, swifter and swifter; and by
and by a hust like the stiffness Of
death fell over that drunken crew Of
high rollers, and out from the all
there shot an armless hand and upor
the frieze of the banquet hall it wrote
in yetters that burned and blazed
BGlteshazzar's c~ountenance changed
the joints of his loins were loose, his
knees smote one upon the other. Bette
) shazzar got cold feet right there.
Il guess old Bel was about all in.
~"Belteshazzar finally decided tc
send for Daniel the prophet of God. te
decipher the puzzle"
This is how BILLY" described the
kings reception of the prophet:
"'Put it there, Dan, old top; l have
heard about you. My friends have
been telling me about you. Mother
has been telling me all about you
You are a wonderful fellow. In you
dwell the spirits of the God. have
a lot Of old Holsters here that l have
been feeding and have asked them &c
read that writing, but they can't do it
They make me tired. Now, Dan. il
you can do anything to help me out
get busy"
Strange Gods Of Modern Life.
Under the head, "Thou Shalt have