The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-03-05
WHEN JUDICIARY
ESSAYS HUMOR
Some Interesting Sidelights on
Bright Spots in Dry
Legal Lore.

Legal Lore.
To the ordinary citizen the ju-
dietary is looked upon as legal wis
dom personified, without, however,
the faculty for humor; or at least
without the opportunity within the,
limitations of court propriety, for ex-
ercising that faculty. But Judges
som etimes become humorous, inten-
tiona1ly or otherwise, in their legal
language. Perhaps such humorous
passa ges in court cases are not bet
ter given than from cuttings taken
from American, English and Cana
dian reports, collected by B. A. MIL
burn, and to be found in the state
library.
In the case of Moses against
Pittsburgh, ETC., 81 Ill, 516, decided
in 1859, occurs a comment on street
cars which amounted to a prophecy.
Gears upon street railroads are
now generally, if not universally,
propelled by horses, but who can
say how long it will be before it
will be found safe and profitable to,
propel them with steam, or some
other power besides horses?''
Some might do well to read what
the judges themselves say about the
nature of actions at 1aw-and be-
ware accordingly. Thus say judges
who hail from Iowa. Maine and
Georgia.:
.eThere is nothing sacred. about a
rep1evin suit
seThere is nothing certain about
q. lawsuit except the expense of it."
1.-THE questions in a case are divis-
able into 'pints' and 'pintees,'' and
counsel should not worry the court
with the latter f-
ssWhen an action is started as a
through train, it, must go through,
and what is no less nportant, must
keep its freight on board, not de-
liver the whole of it en- route, or at
some way station, to favorite con-
signees.',
About Men and Animals.
A great many observations con-
made by learned judges, which
either from their import or from
the manner in which they are made,
are provocative of mirth. Some of
these, all of them being given as
passages, in definite actions which
are fully capable Of verIucation:
9.Perversity and a. disposition to
have their own. way seem to be a
popularity of East Tennessee ami
mails"
"a locomotive and a mule may
well pass over the same ground, so
that they pass at different moments
Of time"
"a person is not bound to stand
quietly and be bitten by dog, nor
to give him what might be called a
fair fight among men"
"a dog is notNas person. and hence
is not entitled to kill another dog
going at large without a license. I'M
der a statute authorizing any per-
som to kill such dogs.
.eThe courtesies and Inequalities
of dog life cannot well be regulated
by the judicial tribunals of the
land \
ut is plain that whether a dog
is licensed or not does not affect its
character. A good dog is none the.
less SO though it wear no collar
There are also some generaliza-
lions concerning human kind made
mons everyday people should be IN
formed about. For instance:
"A Chinaman is an INDIAN" and
simply because person is ne
gro, he is not to be necessarily deem
ed dangerous
A good many. observations exist in
legal records concerning the nature
of court procedure, privileges of
counsel, admissibility of statements
and other matters:
ION appeal it is not sufficient that
God knows a thing, but the record
must show it,
Tt Is needless to make the speech
long because the cause is weak
@CounceI may, in the discretion OF
the court, be permitted to lie down
on thesfIoor and hollo at the top of
his voice"
counsel in arguing q. case to be
jury have the right to shed tears,
and if they have them at their COM
mand it may be their professional
duty to shed them
And Women, Too.
Concerning cases of assault and
battery and crimes of violence,
members of the Judiciary have made
certain pungent observations. For
instances:
"If a strong man has weak one
in his power, and gives his victim
the choice Of being licked or cuffed,
he cannot defend his battery on the
ground that the injured man con-
sented.''
where an unauthorized person
forcibly throws a woman,s freshly
washed and ironed clothes on the
floor it is a question for the jury
whether she could lay hands on
him more gently than by means of
a baseball bat applied to the back of
his head
.arhose who shoot at their friends
for amusement ought to warn them
first that it is mere sport"
"a dead man is not absent -
teThe right to harry and bedevil
ones creditor is inestimable."
"a husband who stays in the PEN
itentiary for a term of years for
shooting his wife is not guilty of
.wiIful, continued and obstinate de-
sertion.''
"a policeman is an excellent judge
of whiskey.''
"a judge does not have to be a
fool
tsThat judge is the best who re-
lies as little as possible on his own
opinion