The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-12-18
Slants
By "Zeke"
By "Zeke"

By "Zeke"
We classify as thrifty the man who
claims to have saved the price of his
$3.50 alarm clock in five months and
read the next door neighbours morn
ing paper before the neighbor is out
of bed.
There are still few old fashioned
men who insist on looting a bank
from the outside.
We have known some highly aes-
thetic people; poets, musicians. pain
ters and such, whose thoughts spent
most of their time wandering about in
the clouds, but we do not recall sin
gle one whose shins were inclined to
wander from the stove or whose ap-
petite failed to respond to the appeal
from the kitchen.
Lady Christmas Shopper, to sales
man in mems furnishing store-"Show
ne something. please, in a soisette
night shirt"
One of the meanest advantages the
doctor takes of you is to jam the lit
tie thermometer down your throat and
then start an argument with you.
Why is it that the movie actor who
finds it necessary to jot down a few
notes on his collar or cuff never for
gets his pencil?
We do not wish to seem harsh with
the public nor yet do we want to
seem to favor too strongly the movie
censors, but personally, we will not
miss Charlie Chaplin.
= When a man brags about his ability
as a cook he means that he can fry
eggs and make n fair pot of coffee
The Chicago Tribune says that the
New York police force would be the
first army that could be modified to
fight invader. BY the time he had
been gone through and over by the
finest" who have already some prac-
tice in handling immigrants, most any
invader would be glad to get out of
New York with what clothes he had
left.
poriums the shoe statesmen are pulling
some new stuff. That is, if You do
not buy shoes any oftener than we do,
1t is new.
For as long as we can remember
and as near as we can tell from the
letters and numbers and signs on the
inside we have been wearing a num-
Der & II shoe on something called a B
asst We do not state this from van
ty but merely as a matter of fact We
nave always prided ourselves on the
'act that we bought shoes to fit our
feet, not as the old fashioned man
says, to fit our head. Furthermore, |
when the talk would get around to the
point where everyone was discussing
hose intimate little things which peo-
Die will discuss, such as operations, |
,hildren's troubles, and those other |
title things. we never had any griev- |
tnceS to air because of things caused |
~ i'll fitting shoes. But that time has |
passed and now we are no better off |
han the rest of them, and it came ,
bout like this:
We went into the store to negotiate |
ome new oxfords. We sat down on |
| bench and finally when a bored /
'oung man came around and asked us
What we were doing around there; |
hat isn't what he said, but that's |
What he meant, we told him that we /
wanted a pair of oxfords. So -B, the |
anne as we had on The young man
'rdered us to take off one of our
hoes. This did not worry us a bit /
. we We're all ready for him with a
'air of flawless, guaranteed hose. He !
limbed up one of those little ladders
nd brought down one of those little
ticks that they keep hid around shoe
torres. With a sad, sweet smile he
measured our foot and informed US
hat we did not know what size shoe
re were wearing. and that the shoe
id not fit US in the least.
Why did they not fit US? We had
1orn them months without discom-
DOT. Why, because the ball of the
DOT does not come in the wide part
f the shoe. Get that. l repeat it, the
all of the foot does not come in the
tide part of the shoe. That's what
ad been giving us all the trouble we
ad been having with our feet which
re did not know we had.
The young man then proceeded to
buse us after his own fashion. We
ould not tell his ancestry from his
,oks, but would bet little that some
{ his progenitors had something to
o with the institution known as the
lquisition. After we had been torn
NIB from limb several times and had
-psed into insensibility he informed
s that he had it. that it was a beaut,
fifty, neat. nobby. one of the new, or
as it old, English lasts, and that the
all of the foot came in the wide part
{ the shoe. ,
1t was the very latest thing at only !
sven-fifty and the size was a ION.