davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

The Greensboro News is au-
thority for the statement that J.
J. Cudd was a candidate for
something or other in an election
held in South Carolina t'other
day. But after the votes were
counted it turned out that j. J.
Cuddn't.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01
PLEASE TICKLE ME.

In the last issue of the Fool
Killer there was not any special
appeal to club-raisers, but in
spite Of it's absence the returns
have been very good. The daily
average all summer has been
nearly 100 subscriptions per day.
That does pretty well for the dull
summer season, and under nor
NAL working conditions I could
have saved some money at it.
But, bless your souls, [ now have
to hire EVERYTHING done and
pay a big price for it all. The
sickness and trouble in my home
has knocked me completely out
SO far as doing any Office work
myself is concerned. The paper
is going right on, of course, but
all the work has to be done by
hired help. Consequently, when
the running expenses are paid
there is very little left for the
widder and me. To be sure, we
have made some money in the
past and amt quite ready for the
"poor- house" yet, but that ain t
the point. We want to make at
least enought to live on as we go
along.
And that's the reason for this
here Special Appeal which you
are now reading. (Or it is some
body else that looks like you?)
Anyhow, you are the one I in
tended it for.
Of course business will natural
ly be better from now on through
the fall and winter, but I want
us to make it a doggon big sight
better. And we can-easy
enough. All it takes is for each
subscriber to do a little mission
ary work among his friends who
are not subscribers. Tote your
Fool-Killer in your pocket and
draw it on every fellow you meet.
Mighty few folks >wHl refuse he
pay ten cents a year for such a
rip-snortin' good paper as the
Fool-Killer. All they need is
the asking, and the dimes will be
ready. Try it on a few dozen
anyhow. I don't care if you
bury the office force so deep in
subs that it will take them all
next summer to claw out. That
would be funny to me. Please
tickle me.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

It don't matter what in the
thunder he does, I never aim to
print the name of Harry Thaw in
this paper again. Just look
there, will you? Sarn- taxed if
it didn't slip in again in spite of
me.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

When you hear some silk hated
millionaire shooting off his lip
about fighting to the last man, :"
yon can rest assured that he aims
to be the ''last man."
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01
PERSONAL POINTS

After having written funny
stuff to amuse the crowd for six
years, you might think that a fell
low had about MIXED his thinker
dry. Well, l have almost felt
that way about it few times, but
after resting a month, there is al
ways new supply ready. That
if the secret of being a writer-to
always have something to say.
The man who runs out'' or ''goes
dry" was not much of a writer to
start with, If I hadn't been pretty
confident that [ would have some
thing to say, [ would never have
started in to edit a paper. And
so, having stuck to the job for six
years, [ am ready to stick a good
while longer.
And now we come to another
question: What is the Fool Kill
ler's mission in the world? What
have [ been trying to do all these
six years? A dozen men would
probably give a dozen different
answers to the above question.
But as near as I can make out,
The Fool-Killer has, above all else,
established the reputation of being
a funny paper" More people
read it for the alleged 'fun" they
find in it than for any other rea-
son. From all over the country
they write me that they never
laughed so much at anything else
in their lives.
And so, if the readers insist on
it, I will continue to use my same
old motto Make a man laugh
right big, and then cram a truth
down him while his mouth is
OPEN"
One of the editorial errors that
have often found myself falling
into was the tendency to get too
"serious.' I would forget, for
the time being, that The Fool
ler was expected to be funny, and
would start out on a long, dry
argument about something or
other. Suddenly it would occur
to me that what I was writing was
not "Fool-Killer" stuff at all, and
wuold tear it up and start again.
! In this way more copy goes to
the waste-basket than gets into
print. But never mind the waste
basket. I want at least a million
folks to read what I print in this
pungent periodical of thrilling
thought.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

= w. Henry Davis says in his last
Hornet: Don't criticise me too
harshly for publishing The Hor-
net. I won't, Henry, because
I see it's all the sense you've got.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Texas has again been devasted
by storm and flood. Looks to ne
like it would pay Texas to pull up
and move to North Carolina, any,
how.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

I'd like to be an optimist as
we'll as anybody, but there amt
but mighty doggon little to opti-
mise over these days.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

One of the towns in the war
country along the Euphrates is
named Kilissa-pronounced" kill
I-say."
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Even with the dull season and
the hard times on, The Fool
Killers circulation has climbed
upward more rapidly this summer
than ever before.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Edison says he owes every
thing to his wife. Must be purity
nigh bankrupt, then, and the
only way I see out of it is for her
to take him for the debt.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

The only trouble with the Pan
American conference in hehalf of
Mexico is that it refuses to "pan. -
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

The war will be over in an
other year., " says J. P. Morgan.
Over what? Over the whole
world? ........ ...
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Recently a Democratic speaker
took Lies" for a subject. And
he was full of his subject.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Eat, drink and be sociable, for
tomorrow you may have the
toothache. .:
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

The thing that puzzles me is,
how God found room on a chigger
to put such an awful mouth.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Pass your plate, Mexico, and
let us help you to some of our
nice, homemade "strict accoun-
tability.''
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Hot words are like hot mush-it
is easier to spit them out than it is
to swallow them.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

If there is anything nastier
than politics, it is more politics.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01
w arsaw saw war.

Gravelot has a lot of graves.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

I'd rather buy peace at-any-
price" than to take war as a free
gift. Hadn't you?
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

Part of the world sane is better
than a whole world crazy.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

J L. PEARSON, Editor and Propr
GEORGE FITZPATRICK. Bus. Mgr
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01

One year to your heart 70 Genus
In clubs of Five or More. 1O cents.
The fool-killer., 1915-09-01
EDITORIALS.

EDITORIALS.
Warsaw saw war.
Gravelot has a lot of graves.
If there is anything nastier
than politics, it is more politics.
Part of the world sane is better
than a whole world crazy.
I'd rather buy peace at-any-
price" than to take war as a free
gift. Hadn't you?
Hot words are like hot mush-it
is easier to spit them out than it is
to swallow them.
The only trouble with the Pan
American conference in hehalf of
Mexico is that it refuses to pan. !"
Texas has again been devasted
by storm and flood. Looks to ne
like it would pay Texas to pull up
and move to North Carolina, any,
how.
One of the towns in the war
country along the Euphrates is
named Kilissa-pronounced kill
I-say."
I'd like to be an optimist as
we'll as anybody, but there amt
but mighty doggon little to opti-
mise over these days.
Pass your plate, Mexico, and
let us help you to some Of our
nice, homemade "strict accoun
tability.'
Eat, drink and be sociable, fol
tomorrow you may have the
toothache.
The thing that puzzles me is
how God found room on a chigge1
to put such an awful mouth.
"The war will be over in an
other year, r" says J. P. Morgan
Over what? Over the Who'll,
world? .... .....
| Recently a Democratic speake,
took Lies" for a subject. AM
| e
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15

nent, David Arbuckle. To the latter
Judge Dinsmore said:
Proceed with the defense, Mr.. Ar
buckle"
To this Arbuckle replied, IN call
Miss Doris Strickland" And an at
tendant left the courtroom for the
Young daughter of the defendant.
Again the orderly proceedings of the
law were interrupted by impulsive ac-
ton by the prisoner at the bar The
detection which had marked him gave
way to desperation mounting almost
to frenzy. Predominant in his nature
was the love of father for his daugh-
ter, the love which an eminent pro-
lessor, learned in literature and psy-
chology, has declared is the purest,
most disinterested affection known to
human beings.
With a cry Strickland sprang to his
feet
His tones were broken as he address
ed Judge DinsmOre.
"No-your honOr-dOn't let her testify
she's my little girl-she's all I've got
left-don't let her testify"
With the same cold, grave, judicial
severity that had marked his admon1-
ton to Glover not to volunteer opinions
Judge Dinsmore addressed the pris-
Oner:
You must leave your case In the
hands of your counsel. He will protect
your interests"
Il don't want to be protected; pro-
tect my little girl. Don't bring her In
here!" said the unhappy father.
But his voice was stilled by the sight
of little Doris entering the room. The
childs face frightened as her eyes fell
on her father. Crying Daddy" she
hurried to his side and put her arms
around him before Arbuckle could
make gentle interposition and take her
away. AS he separated the two StrlcK-
land said in a broken voice:
mo, no; take her out OF here. she >
all have left to me"
His words went unheeded. up
there. Doris" said Arbuckle to the lit
tie girl. and he took her to the witness
stand.
Again Strickland made futile at
tempt to spare his little girl the ordeal
~e testifying-
(To Be Continued)
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15

Here Gray held up the card SO that
Judge and jury, court attendants and
counsel for both prosecution and de-
Tense and many of those further re-
moved from the scene Of the eXamina-
ton could see that the card was torn.
The card was passed to the jury for
examination. Then Gray said:
Now, Mr.. Glover, 1 call your atten-
ton to the fact that the card is torn
almost in half Can you explain how
that OccurredY
"Yes, sir" said Glover. "As took
the card from Strickland's pocket he
snatched it out of my hand and started
to tear it in half. Before he had torn
it all the way managed to get hold of
it again"
With this testimony of Stanley Glover
the proceedings in the case of the peo-
pie against Robert Strickland paused
for day. The examinations of the
widow and the private secretary had
consumed much time, and the hour OF
adjournment had arrived. Judge. at
torneys, attendants of the court, wit
nesses and spectators went to their
homes. The prisoner was taken back
to the Tombs, since in capital cases no
bond is accepted. "All that a man
hath will he give for his life" the law
agrees with Holy Writ. and no bond
can be fixed so high that man who
knows that he stands in danger Of con-
viction on a murder charge will not
forfeit it. SO Robert Strickland went
back to his cell to think of the wife
who had disappeared and the daughter
against whose appearance in court he
had protested SO earnestly. Whether
he pondered over the testimony given
against him on that day was not re
vealed.
Reading in the later evening editions
the testimony of Mrs. Trask and Clio
yer, the city buzzed that night with
discussion of the case. 1t was the
leading topic. overshadowing even
grave international complications.
acute political matters. revelations of
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15

standing at the other side of the room
with a revolver i'll his hand. | dashed
at Strickland with the cane and struck
his arm. He dropped the revolver and
fell to the floor.
when you entered the room did you
see any sign of the other MANI asked
Gray.
NO, sir; the French windows ut the
back were open. and he must have eS-
capped that way. While Mrs. Trask
was telephOning for the police L kept
watch on Strickland. Then | happened
to remember what Mr. Trask had said
about giving Strickland the card with
the combination to the safe on it, and
I thought he might have it on him and
that if he did it would prove of value
to the police"
Here Arbuckle, ever watchful of the
interests of the client who did not
wish to be defended, interrupted Glov-
er's testimony. witness must tell
what he knows of the case. but he
must not comment on his knowledge
OF draw conclusions therefrOm or make
differences which may affect the minds
of the jury. The law makes the jury
arbiters OF the facts in case, not the
witnesses. Therefore Arbuckle inter-
jected:
i object to the witness stating what
he thought
Judge Dinsmore sustained Arbuckle
in his objection and directed that that
part of Glovers answer be stricken
from the record of the stenOgrapher
and inferentially from the minds of
the jurymen.
Then the district attorney admOnish-
ed the witness.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15

Just tell what you did and saw, Mr..
Glover" he said.
well. l began to search Strickland's
pockets"
WAS that before the police arrived?
asked Gray.
Again Glover's eagerness to volun-
teer information became apparent, and
he answered:
Eyes: was afraid he. might destroy
the card"
This time Arbuckle made more Wig
orous objection. Springing to his feet.
he shouted:
"Your honor. l ask that the witness
be instructed to answer the questions
and no more"
Yves. strike out the answer said
Judge Dinsmore. And then. with all
the stern dignity of the representative
and embodiment of the law. in cold.
measured tones he said to Glover:
you must confine your answers to
the questions which are put to you.
You are not to volunteer and you are
not to tell what passed through your
mind. Is that clear?"
Yes. your honor" said Glover. and
the judge instructed Mr.. Gray to pro-
coed with the examination.
"Did you find the card in Strick-
lands pocket?'
Yes. sir"
Gray passed a card to Glover. ask
ing. rs this it?" Glover examined it
and said. Eyes"
Gray took the card from the wit
ness, said to the judge. Il offer it in
evidence. your honor" and to the jury
and the crowded courtroom. intently
following every development of the
case. be described the card as follows:
This peoples exhibit A is a visit
ing card. On the face is engraved in
Old English type the name Of Mr..
Gerald Trask.' Below that is written
IN pencil '2O6 Henderson place, Long
Branch On the other side is written
In words and figures IA right 2, Il
left g. Is there any question about
the handwriting. Mr.. Arbuckle?
you'd better prove it," said Ar
buckle.
Glover proved to be competent wit
ness in this respect, being perfectly
familiar with Mr. Trask's handwriting.
As the financier's secretary he had
seen it hundreds of times on letters
and documents. The inscriptions on
both sides of the card, he testified,
were in the handwriting of the dead
man. There was absolutely no doubt
in his mind about it.
Gray then asked:
"Do you know the significance of
these figures, IA right 2, p left 81"
Eyes, sir" said Glover. Its the conf
bination to Mr.. Trask's SAFE"
Here the fact that no one but Trask
and Strickland knew the combination
of the safe, a fact already testified to,
imposed itself on the mind Of every
one in the courtroom. Mr.. Gray asked
'How do you know?"
"When the police arrived gave them
this card. We locked the safe and
opened it with this combination"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15
Music of the Spheres.

The rising and the setting of the SUI
clearly prove that this globe is carrie
round in the space of twenty -four
hours in an eternal and never ends
circuit, and with incredible swiftness
am not able to say whether tla
sound caused by the whirling about {.
50 great a mass be excessive 4.
therefore far beyond what our ears
can perceive. nor, indeed, whether the
resounding of so many stars, all car
ried on at the same time and revolN-
ing in their orbits, may not prOdu e
delightful harmony of incredible sweet
ness. To US, who are in the interior
the world appears to glide silently
along both by day and by night
pliny.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15

graft in high places. V'High and low
talked of the Trask murder case. the
former interested because some of it's
own people were involved. the latter
with the avid curiosity with which
each detail of a sensational murder
trial is followed by the multitude.
All of the newspapers, even the staid
old Evening Star, stranger to big
type and faring headlines. featured
the case. On the ''yellOwer' journals
the sob sisters spread themselves
over many columns, with half tone and
line Illustrations, in reporting and COM
menting upon the testimony of Mrs.
TraSk. All agreed in commencing the
quiet dignity Of the woman in widows
weeds who had taken the stand to tell
the secrets of her life. and they ex-
pressed much sympathy-sOme of it
maudlin-with the bereaved woman.
The case was meat and drink for the
sensational writer's, and they availed
themselves of it to the full.
But Joan Trask knew nothing of all
this. She did not read the papers. and
she denied herself to interviewers. She
had told her story on the stand. She
would add nothing to it for the sake Of
spreading the sensation. Only few
intimate friends did she tell how much
of an ordeal the giving of testimony
had been to her.
In passing from the courtroom she
had neared the prisoner, and he had
raised his head just in time to catch
her eye. For a moment he had forgot
ten his own misery. and in his coun-
tenance she read commiSeration for her
and sympathy with her in her ordeal.
brought about by his own dreadful act.
Despite her horror Of the man who had
shot her husband. she felt plOmenta-
ry parg of sorrow for him and regret
that perhaps her testimony would aid
in the taking of his life by the law
But the law had called upon her for
assistance in unfolding its majesty
and she must obey.
When the trial Of Robert Strickland
was resumed the first witness to be
called was DR.. Morgan, the physician
who had been summoned to examine
the body of Gerald Trask after the
shooting. He told of the summons and
Of having established the fact that the
pistol had been aimed truly, the bullet
putting Trask beyond the possibility OF
human aid
DR.. Morgan, in what condition did
you find Mr.. Trask's bOdy?" asked Dis
trict Attorney Gray.
Il found two bullet wounds. one
was slight flesh wound in the right
shoulder caused by Il grazing bullet.
The other bullet entered the body just
above the left breast and lodged in the
heart"
That's all, Dr. Morgan said Gray,
and Arbuckle signified to the court that
he did not desire TO cross examine the
witness.
With the testimony of DR.. Morgan
the case for the prosecution was closed,
and MI. Gray resigned the leading
place in the proceedings TO his Opp"'
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15

Glover nodded, and the clerk asked:
what is your name?"
STANLEY Glover"
Then the district attorney began his
examination. The first question was.
Mr. Glover. you were SIR. Trask's pri-
vate secretary?'
Eyes. sir"
ION the night of June 24. after you
left the library with Mrs. TASKS
books. what did you do?
81 went upstairs TO my room.
Describe what occurred then.
Il began going over the books. About
half an hour later | heard 4 shot; then
heard Mrs. Trask scream and anoth-
er shot fired. picked up heavy cane
| had in my room and rushed down.
stairs to the library. Mr.. Trask's body
was on the floor. and Strickland was
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15
ON TRIAL
Continued from Page Three)

and the first fire Of her grief and shock
had burned down. With the loving
kindness of a good woman she had for
given the Offenses of the erring hus-
band who lay in the grave. He had
WrOnged and insulted her grieyOusly,
and no effort of the will could erase
the memory of his wrOngdOing, but he
was dead now. and she was not a
woman to carry even justified anger
beyond the grave.
But now
The simple question of the attorney
aroused her. Her lips frightened and
her eyes flashed as she answered with
emphasis:
''NO. SIR. | DO NOT"
This ended her testimony. Both
Gray and Arbuckle signified that she
was not to be questioned further. and
she stepped down from the stand.
At this point there was slight hitch
i'm the trial of Robert Strickland Dis
trict Attorney Gray called for DR..
Morgan. hut he was not at hand.
Explaining To Judge ninsmore that
DR.. Morgan was the physician who eX
amined Mr. TraSk's body and that DR..
Morgan had said he might he detained.
the district attorney asked and obtain
Ell permission to call Stanley Glover
ID tie witness stand.
From waiting room entered. in re-
Spouse to Il call from an attendant.
the dHpper young man who had been
the private secretary of Gerald Trask.
lie had been present on the fatal night.
ana lie WINS conversant with I'll OF near
IN all IF the details Of the case. 1t was
he who had taken the money from
Trask for deposit in the safe whence
ii hal been removed
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-15
CHAPTER VII.
20 &c In the Pocket.


- ELOVER entered the courtroom
eE with an air of assurance that
- might almost be called jaunty.
- He did not glance ut the pris-
one. as he walked quickly across the
courtroom, and Strickland did not
change the attitude of detection which
had marked him for many hours
Only rarely Ill Strickland raise his
head to listen Ii any of.the testimony.
Since the rC;hurst i'll which he had
protested against the proposed calling
to the stand Of his little daughter Dor
Is he had seemed Indifferent to his fate.
The spectators who had known him as
q happy. active business man. albeit
one upon whom the sun of prosperity
had not shone Of late, noted and COM
mentcd upon the change which acute
mental and physical suffering had
wrought in him.
Glover took the stand, and the clerk
put TO him the usual formal question:
do you sOlemnly swear that the teS-
timony you are about 10 give will be
the truth. the whole truth and nothing
but the truth, so help you Godg"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-07-05

appointed and paid at the discre.
ton of the county school board, are
required to make reports and to
keep records of delinquents and
violations of the act. Teachers of
public schools are required to re-
port absences to the county superin
tendent, and the attendance of a
child upon private, or church
school, is allowable, provided the
records are kept and rendered as re-
quired of teachers of public schools.
Attendance officers are also re-
quired to make a census Of every
child between the ages of six and
twenty-one years in his district or
districts in June of each year, and
to file these reports, containing
name, sex, date of birth, name of
parents or guardian. with postoffice,
before the first of July of each year
with the county superintendent .
The attendance officer must also
furnish the principal of each school
within his jurisdiction with list
of the children who should attend
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-07-05

In 1912, from "a acres he gath
cred 92 bushels by actual measure
ment and weight.
In 1913 he gathered. from 40
acres, 1000 bushels
From 4 acres of oats Mr.. Hodg-
son harvested 4SO bushels.
Mr.. Ellis vouches for these fig
ures. He says that before her mar
riage Mrs. Hodgson was court
stenOgrapher, is a thorough bust
ness woman and keeps an accurate
account of the farm operations, and
thetOtal cost of the yield in 1913
was "a 1-2 cents per bushel.
All that was not needed for
home consumption was readily sold
for 81 per bushel
Mr.. Ellis says that Mr.. w. b.
Phifer, living near Rochelle, has a
corn yield record of 1877 l-2 bushels
per acre.
Mr.. Ellis says that there is
wealth and happiness in living on
farm if our people could rid them
selves of the speculative and get
rich-quick spirit.