davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
SPEAKER STUCK ON THE BAR
And Comments of lrreverent Auditor
Did Not Tend to Make Situation
Any Easier.

A Hiram correspondent says that
the news department refuses to report
speech recently delivered in his
town, and he appeals to us to give it
place in our columns. Well go just
this far: ..
He was quoting tenderly Tennyson's
beautiful poem, Crossing the Ban"
and he got one of the lines this way:
And may there be no barring of
the moan, when I put out to sea-"
One of his hearers put in: There
won't be, if your friends know that
you sail under the British flag"
THAT isn't what l meant to say"
replied the speaker in confusion. 81
should have said:
"And may there be no marring Of
the bone, when | put out to sea-
There won't be if you're careful to
jump free of the propeller" chuckled
his irreverent auditor And the speak.
er gave it up.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Childhood In Boston.

A New Yorker who recently re-
turned from a visit to Boston vouches
for the truth of the following, says
the Youths Companion: One after
noon he found the six-year- old son OF
his host settled in front Of the draw.
ing-room fire with sheet Of paper be-
fore him and pencil clasped in his
chubby fist. Stealing look over the
boys shoulder he saw that the little
fellow was making pictures.
well, Bobby" he asked genially,
ARE you drawing an engineer"
Slowly the child looked up, and slow
ly he spoke:
''It would take very strong boy to
draw an engine; but am making
picture of a locomotive"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

Hardly Willing to Admit That There
Could Be Anyone Prettier
Than He Was

The Warrenpeas live in a picture
book bungalow, framed in oak trees,
shrubbery and flowers, and as War
renpea's income is adequate, and like
ly to be more so, they go about
bit in a social way.
Mulligan, their chauffeur, had been
directed to steer the gasoline boat
under the side porch at precisely 1850,
The engine was buZzing as Warren
pea descended the stairs from the
owners chamber, a fine figure of a
man in evening clothes, immaculate
to the tips of his shoes.
Little Barbara, not quite three. was
being prepared for her crib General
ly she's in it an hour earlier, hence
up to this time had been deprived of
observing how we'll her good-looking
dad carries after-dinner garb.
She was visibly impressed
"Daddie, you are the very prettfest
man | ever saw" she confided, snug
Cling into his arms for the goodnight
kiss, II think you're the prettiest man
they Isl
"Toodlekins, you're a flatterer," he
admitted, though not displeased by
her appraisal. Surely not the hand
soonest in the world?'
Well daddie," she replied, as one
who desires to be just above all else,
81 haven't seen God yet"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Hard Lines.

"You look as if you'd lost the best
friend you had in the world" re-
marked the man from Patcho5ue.
What seems to be the trouble?"
my boss just notified me that the
office will close at noon on Saturdays
during the summer MONTHS" replied
the Speonk commuter.
II don't see why you should feel so
glum about that"
."You don't, Ell? Do you know what
that order means to me? 1t means
that I'll have to spend my Saturday
afternoons out in the hot sun wedding
the garden, instead of sitting at my
desk enjoying the cool breeze from an
electric fam" "1.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Feminine of Chief,

American Indian the other day in
rural school, when the teacher asked
if anyone could tell him. what the lead
ers were called
Chief" answered a bright little
girl at the head of the class.
"Correct!" answered the teacher.
Now, can any Of you tell me what
the women are called?"
There was silence for minute or
two, then small boy was seen wav-
ing his hand aloft, eager to reply.
We'll, Tommy" asked the teacher.
Mischief" he announced proudly
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
To Fillet a Fish.

Remove the dark skin: cut down the
backbone and slip the knife under the
flesh, keeping close to the bone, till
the fins are reached. Cut fillet off of
each side, turn the fish over and cut
two more fillets off the other side. A
good-sized fiat fish will give four Ill
lets. Smaller fish that are not fiat
should be divided into two f1llets only.
Weakfsh, founder, salmon, whiting,
herring, mackerel, paddock and any
of the larger fishes that have not too
many small bones are excellent sub
jects for fillet.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Russian Victory.


General Ivan Pavlovitch sat In his
room and studied the map. Then he
rang the bell at his elbow. In came
Sergius Julioffski, his aide-de-camp.
What are your orders, excellency?"
"Sergius Julioffski, glance over this
map. Do you see this hill?"
Il do. excellency."
That hill must be captured. At
tend to the matter and let me know
when it is done"
Il will, excellency."
Twenty minutes passed and there
was a knock at the door. Sergius
strobe in, clicked his heels together.
and saluted.
We'll, what is it, Sergius, my SOM"
Il have the honor to announce, ex-
cellency, that the hill has been cap
tured." H. .... ... ...
Already captured! Fine, my son,
fine! Who occupies it?"
THE Germans, excellency."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Strawberry Pancakes.

Stir one-half teaspoonful of salt into
one cupful of flour and sift three
times. Beat the yolks of three eggs
until light, add one cupful of sweet
milk, stir. the liquid into the flour.
beat hard until very light. then fold
in the stiff1y beaten whites. Bake
on a smoking hot griddle and serve
two to each person with softened but
ter and crushed and sweetened straw
berries between and powdered sugar
sprinkled over the top.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Chocolate Cake.

Yolks of three eggs, well beaten;
one and one-half cupfuls sugar, one
tcaspoonfuI vanilla, one-half cupful
cold water, one-half cupful cocoa. lit
tie salt. one and three-fourths cUPfuls
flour, two teaspoonfuls baking powder
Just beat we'll and add three whites of
eggs we'll beaten last. 1t takes about
forty minutes to bake. 1t is nice
baked in a bread tin and frosted with
butter frOsting.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Brown Sugar GINGERBREAD.

One cupful brown sugar, one-half
cupful lard, one teaspoonful salt. one
teaspoonful soda, two teaspoonfuls
cream of tartar, one and one-half tea
spoonfuls ginger, one cupful of milk
diluted condensed milk may be used,
Dr. even clear water), flour. Cream
sugar and lard together, then add 9TH
or ingredients, using -four enough to
make it rather soft. Bake in biscuit
tin about one-half hour
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
CARE FOR YOUR HAIR
BY Frequent shampoos With cutieura
viii Help You. Trial Free.

Precede shampoos by touches of
Cuticura Ointment if needed to spots
OF dandruff, itching and irritation Of
the scalp. Nothing better for the COM
plexion, hair, hands or skin than these
fragrant supercreamy emollients. Also
as preparations for the toilet.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. Ky,
Boston. Sold everywhere.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
A Spinster's Warning.

She may have had experience in
matrimony from what she said, but
to all outward appearances she was
a spinster. She had been sitting In
the courtroom of a justice of the
peace while he was preparing to
marry a couple in his private office.
There was too much laughing in the
Office to suit the spinster, and she let
everybody know 1t.
Finally she had stood the laughing
of the bride-to-be long enough, she
thought, and she squeaked the follow
ing in high-pitched voice:
Marriage is not to be laughed at.
1t is serious thing like going to
church" indianapolis News.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
PRAISE WAS SWEET TO HIM
Neiahbor of ImpressionabIe Youth
Naturally Pleased at Admira-
tion Bestowed on Singer.

At concert a young fellow got
into conversation with the man sit
ting next to him. Presently a very
pretty girl came on to- sing.
Il say, isn't she lovely?" exclaimed
the impressionable youth. "And just
look at her splendid teeth"
Eyes, they are very NICE" replied
his neighbor. "And 1t gives me much
pleasure to hear you praise them"
THAT SO: Is she your daughter,
hen?"
No"
Are you her brother?"
No." was the answer: but I'm
glad you like her teeth"
They're absolutely perfect. But
er-T should-er-what's it got to do
with you?'
I'm the dentist that made them.
Perhaps I can do the same little job
for you"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
God Must Be Guest of Soul.

The soul, in its highest sense, is
vast capacity for GOO. It is like a
curious chamber added on to being.
and somehow involving being, a cham
Der with elastic and contractile walls,
which can be expanded, with God as
Its guest. illimitably, but which with.
out God shrinks and shrivels until ev.
cry vestige of the divine is gone
Henri. Drummond.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Shrewd Sandy,

A certain glen in Scotland had the
reputation of having a splendid echo.
An English gentleman visited the
place, and asked his guide about the
echo.
Just shout, Two bottles of whis-
KY" said the guide
The gentleman did as requested,
and after waiting for several minutes
he turned to the Scot, and said:
But do not hear any echo."
Maybe no." chuckled the Scot,
but here's the lassie comm wi the
whisky"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Curtain Washing Hint.

When washing new curtains you
will generally find that they are full
of lime A great deal of trouble may
be saved by soaking the curtains over
night in water in which a little salt
has been dissolved. The salt draws
tn wash
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Taking Him Down a Little.

An effeminate, self-opinionated
young man entered a restaurant the
other day, and after he had ordered
lunch the waitress, who was well
known for her obliging disposition
and ready wit, handed him a newspa-
per so that he might profitably while
away the few minutes that would
elapse before he was served.
Thank you, Josephine he said
Familiarity, but l prefer something
funny to look at while l am eating"
The waitress looked at him con-
temptuously, then replied:
THAT need occasion you no incon-
venience, Percy; there's a looking
glass straight In front of you!"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
.lifnev Enthusiast.

PA, with all his money, will never
let us take our rightful place in So
ciety'
why. he's most indulgent. He has
Just bought the family magnificent
automobile 81 lt.. ,as..
Yves, but unless we watch him all
the time he can't resist the temptation
to take on few paying passengers
as he rides around Louisville Gov
rier-Journal.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
r,,x1R nABEK A coon TONIC

=
And Drives Malaria out of the System.
given it to numerous people in my par
ish who were suffering with chills. ma
larla and fever. I recommend it to those
tonic"-Rey s. Szymanowski. st.
Stephens Church. Perth Amboy. N. j.
Elixir BabeIx so cents. all druggists or
by Parcels Post prepaid from kloczeW-i
ski & Co.. Washington. D. c.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
No Limit.

How many pancakes do you sup
pose you could eat at sitting?" in
quired Uncle George, as he watched
his little nephew slowing them away.
Il don't know" said the boy. THE
most l ever had a chance to eat was
twenty-four Ma won't let me try for
a record"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Rice Mold

Mix one-half cupful rice with two
cupfuls cold milk. put it in a double
boiler, add one-half teaspoonful salt
and boil about one hour, then put it
in a mold, and when perfectly cold
turn out and spread with scraped ma
pie sugar, about one cupful; pour over
one cupful whipped cream and serve.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

things; the person
to whom it was
addressed, t b e
person referred to
in the closing pro-
noun, and the cir
cumstances t h a t
the question in
yolved. The per-
son addressed was
Peter, the person
referred to in the
closing pronoun
was Jesus, the
c i r c u m stances
were about these:
Jesus was on trial
before the Roman
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Why He Was Peeved.

Why He Was Peeved.
Il understand he let you in on a get.
rich-quick scheme"
mo. Do you suppose l would be
angry at him for that?"
Then what was it,"
"He made me think it was get-ricb-
quick scheme, but 1t wasn't"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
NOTHING New.

MY doctor is a great believer in
apples. He's forever advising people
to eat them"
Nothing original about that. The
serpent in Eden did the same thing
centuries ago."
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
MANY WAR ZONE HOSPITALS

Have ordered Aliens Foot-Ease. the antiseptic
powder. for use among the convalescent troops.
Shaken into the shoes or dissolved in the foot
bath, Aliens Foot-Ease gives refreshing rest and
comfort and prevents the feet getting tired or
foot sore: Try it TO-DAY. Dent accept any sub
pie, address. Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy, N. Y.-Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
In EormoSa,

The Synod of Formosa. organized
In 1913, announced that whereas so
years ago there was not a single wor-
shipper of God in Formosa there are
now some 10000, and 800 Christian
workers evangelizing the island
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Oh, Well.

Bacon don't believe in fellow
reminding you of a kindness he's done
for you. Do you?
Egbert-No, I do not
well, fellow loaned me an UNI
brella month ago, and he reminded
me of 1t today" u astl... rt.-
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
OutiaWed.

OutiaWed.
How about paying me for that
suit l made for you two years ago?"
asked the tailor.
You surely can't expect me to pay
for that suit" said the impecunious
young man. why, it's all out of
style"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Deadly Insult.

WELL" said Higgins, inspecting Wal
loper's new automobile, there's one
good thing about tit will never turn
turtle" pa
How do you figure that out?'' asked
Walloper, much pleased.
ooh, it just couldn't" replied Hig
gins. 1T might turn mock-turtle,
but" l''
1t was five minutes later that the
police had to intervene. o." @'is.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
The Exact Spot.

Lawyer-So you went out and walt
ed for some time on the pavement.
Now, did you strike the witness in
the interim? tf.e
Defendant-No, ; didn't. | pasted
him in the jaw l.f
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

81 found place last summer where
could rest in perfect quietude."
did you enjoy it,"
mo. l spent half my time on the
cars getting to place where they had
moving pictures and band"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Grand Prize at Panama-Pacifie Expo
sition Awarded to Walter
Baker G. Co. Ltd.

The Grand Prize for superiority of CO.
Goa and Chocolate preparations has been
awarded to Walter Baker & Co. Ltd. Dor
chester, Mass. This famous old house has
received So Highest Awards at the leading
expositions In Europe and America. Adv.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
KIND Wishes.

Kind Wishes.
"You missed the train," said Mrs.
Kermoot, reproachfully.
YES" replied her husband.
well. perhaps it's just as well to
cultivate the habit. wish I could be
sure you were as likely to miss the
train when your motor car hits rail
way crossing as you are in ordinary
travel"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red, Wesk Waisery
Just Eye comfort. Write for Book OF the Eye
b.; mail Free. Murine Rye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Machine Oil Stains,

Yellow machine oil stains on white
material may be removed by rubbing
the spot 18th a cloth wet with ammo
MIA before using soap.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
a Rracer for Dauohter.

Anxious Mother-It was after nine
o'clock when Clara came down to
breakfast this morning and the poor
girl didn't look well at all. Her sys-
TEN needs toning up. What do you
think of iron?
Father-Good idea.
Anxious Mother-What kind Of iron
had she better take?
Father-She had better take fiat
iron.-New York Sun. ''
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Left What?

Mrs. Smith has a million in her
own right"
my wife always carries hers in her
left"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

Since the war broke out the de-
mand for nitrate has fallen off and
great hardship has followed in Chile.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
The Boss,

Whats Blinks doing for living
now"
Everything his rich wife tells him. "
Philadelphia Public Ledger
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
BriQnteninu Ruus,

Throw coarse salt over rugs and
carpets before sweeping them to pre-
vent the dust from rising This will
brighten the color also
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Knew Ills Ruainess.

Mrs. Plat (angrily)-Oh. you think
you know lot. don't you?
Mr.. Plat (calmly)-Well, ought to,
my dear I've been in the real estate
business for nearly thirty years.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
DISCUSSING It.

Some SCOT blew over this steak"
That's easily fixed. Give it
sprinkle with the pepper pot"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Those Queens AGAIN.

tt dreamed last night / took the
classiest queen on the campus to the
prom
She-Did I dance we'll?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
For Sale.

Every man has his price, they say
81 wish l could get mine"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

The horse may become extinct in
time, but the donkey will remain with
us until society has ceased to be.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

Cotton seed meal is gaining popu-
larity as cow feed in Canada.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

He's a wise prophet who can in.
duce others to forget his predictions.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
A Toe Hold Probably,

Ruth-Mother, my foot hurts
awfully.
Mother-It is asleep, probably.
Ruth-Then it's got the nightmare.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
An Awkward
Position
BY REV. J. H. RALSTON
Secretary Of Correspondence Department.
Moody Bible Institute Of Chicago

TEXT-Dlo l not see thee in the garden
with him John 1926.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

The foundation of service is love;
the rule of service is thoughtfulness
B F. Westcott
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
ing suit.

Not every beach costume is a bath
ing suit.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16

Peters position as indicated by this
question depends OH two or three
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1915-07-16
Ease of Apostasy.

And there is an incidental sugges-
ton in connection with Peters base
denial, in that the step from close
companionship with Jesus Christ to
apostasy is not long one. Peter
was in a true sense a primate among
the disciples, yet his base denial of
his Lord is told as widely as the per
fidy of Judas Iscariot himself.
To rest in any relationship to Jesus
Christ with too great confidence Is
dangerous.
Newark post., 1915-09-15
Professor Miggett
Returns West

Professor VIM. Miggett of Uni
versity of Michigan, has started
his motor trip home after spend
ing the summer with his aunt,
MRS. Annie Slack. Professor Mig
get started east June tWenty-seV-
enth and although a greater part
Of the distance was mountain
road, he met with no serious accl-
dent and arrived here July third.
Professor Miggett is accompan-
led on his homeward journey by
Mr.. S. Hexter, formerly of New
York City but now of Ann Arbor
Itch Owing to the opening OF
the University Professor Miggett
will be compelled to cover the dis,
tance in eight days, via Baltimore
Washington, and other points OF
interest en- route.
Newark post., 1915-09-15
Bszar For Benefit Of Band

Mlnnehaha Band No. %, Imp'd
0 R. M. of this town will hold
falr and Bazaar for three nights,
Thursday, Friday, and Saturday,
Sept. 23rd. oath, and 25th, in Cen
ter Hall, for the benefit of the
band. This band has been sup
ported by the members since it's
organization, with the exception
of what has been contributed by
the towns people for the building
of their stand, and it has been a
steady strain on the band members
for some time. At present they
are in need of music, lights, and
some new horns, and are trying in
this manner to raise enough money
to purchase same. They ask the
support of the townspeople in as
sisting them in their good work to
the town. They will have on sale
many useful articles, as we'll as
cakes, candies, and ice cream, and
would be very thankful to all the
townsfolks if they could come out
on one or all Of the three nights
and help them out a little. Come
out and show the boys your ap-
preciation for good music, and a
good cause. Don't forget the
dates, 23rd, oath, and 25th of this
month.