Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1915-07-01
WHEN PA TRENCHED'
Started His Garden on Highest
Scientific Principles.
Il Was a PeaeeabIe Imitation Of War,
so He Finally Enlisted the Aid Of
a Belgian Refugee-The
Grinns to RIana
Grippe to Blame.


IF you're going to have good crops
in your vegetable garden. the thing to
do is to trench it," quoth Pa Jenkins.
For some days Pa has been show
ing symptoms of garden fever. Not
only has he pored wei seed cata-
logues, of which he accumulated a
score or more, but he has been read
ing of the most modern methods of
making the back yard garden support
a family, ct cetera. A space of some
20 by so feet is devoted to the Jen-
kins gardening experiments.
whats trenching?" asked Ma.
It's what the Belgians do" in
formed Pa.
"Huh!" shifted Ma. Its what the
Germans and the French and the Eng
lish and all the rest of those crazy
people over there are doing. l don't
see any sense trying it on here"
"You don't understand" explained
Pa. "All fine gardeners do this trench
ing. They dig a deep ditch, about IS
inches down. Then next to it they dig
another ditch and so on, throwing the
dirt from n ditch into the other each
time. That gets the soil all stirred up
and aired and it makes things grow
BETTER
And who," inquired Ma, does the
digging in this family?"
Mel" announced Pa, Strengthening
up and striking his broad chest. Il
need the exercise, anyway. I'm get
ting all soft and good for nothing
sticking to my desk all day. A man
makes a mistake not to do any hard
physical labor. The creator intended
us to use our bodies as we'll as our
minds, and we have to suffer for it
if we DON'T.
WELL" remarked Ma, don't come
to me with your aches and pains"
And she ostentatiously set out the
arnica bottle.
Pa ordered several bags of expen-
sive fertilizer, which he scattered Law
ishly over the 20 by SO. He also
bought a new spade, which he said
was built especially for trenching and
which cost accordingly. He demand
ed his garden shoes from last year,
and vas peeved when he found that
Mike, the dog, had chewed one of
them into a pulp
But he donned the rest of the outfit
an ancient pair Of pants frayed
around the edges and stained with
honest soil, blue shirt that had been
washed into streaks, coat that any
Weary Willyum would scorn, a straw
hat of old vintage, broken in the
crown SC that a tuft of Pas hair, like
a warlockfi stuck out belligerently
and a new pair of 10-cent store gloves,
Pa started trenching. For a while
the soil few and Pa whistled blithely
Then he stopped whistling. After a
while he leaned OF the spade and
gazed speculatively into the hole he'd
made. He dug again. He rested oft
ener. The sweat rolled down his face.
He felt it tickling his ribs. He pulled
off his coat and hung it on the fence.
When Ma called him to dinner he was
red, damp and exceedingly dirty.
Great work." he asserted. 81 could
eat a bear.
Ma gazed at the long, narrow hole
Pa had dug.
Pa ate a real meal, %punctuating it
by telling how fine he felt. Then he
went forth again and trenched until
dark.
Pa went to sleep in his chair that
evening and Ma had a time to get him
to bed. He declared he would sleep
like a log, but he talked trenching in
his sleep and groaned SO loudly that
Ma had to shake him awake.
"Ouch, where am II" he grunted.
"Shan't I get arnica, Pa?" anxious.
ly queried Ma.
Pa was SO lame next morning he
could hardly straighten up, but insist.
ed he was all right. Later in the day
a stolid looking individual in overalls
presented a note to Ma.
Dear Ma" ran the note. "This
man is a Belgian refugee and knows
all about trenching, SO I've hired him
to help him out. I'll be home early.
Doc Smith says I'm not over the grippe
ryot NJ -