davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
CORRESPONDENCE.

Is G. L. SCARBORO, ROyston Ga.-f
herewith enclose sixty cents for six
subs. The only objection we all find to-
The Fool Killer, it is not daily pa
per, do not want to miss single
copy, so keep on writing that good
stuff
MISS PEARL McCLUNG, Ell Dora
do, Ark.-Enclosed you will find a.
money order for one dollar for which
send twelve doses of The Fool-Kil.er.
to ten of our Arkansas fools. There
are lots of them down here; we@1eede
more Fool Killers scattered around
in this part of the country Please
send me some sample copies that I
may pass them around to the fools.
ROY A. HERON, 46 Rose St., sa-
lem, Ohio.-Please find enclosed
money order for 10 for which send
The Fool-Killer to the enclosed ad-
dresses for one year. BY taking your
last issue (Which contained the Dew
IFS Letter and Teddy's Lament) to
the shop yesterday, I was able to Sc
cure 81 fools for you, including my
renewal, in one day. Those articles.
and your low-cost of-living price
seemed to draw them like magnetism
| This list includes most of the foremen
and several of the Office force, besides,
the shop men.
\. A. TOLBERT, Rosemary, N.
c. Slam, bin, BAN, bang! Here it.
is again, broke out in new place.
Enclosed find the names and address
es of ten new subs that I got one ev-
ening, and money order to pay for
same. I believe The Fool-Killer sells
as good as honey-coated popcorn and
red lemonade at a circus show. This
is the second club have sent you ia
about two weeks. Almost every body
wants to subscribe as soon as they
see it, for they know it is something
| worth while. Send me a few more
sample copies-as many as you like.
J. R. CRAWLEY, 621 Gum ST.,
Lynchburg, Val am sending you
a list Of subs sand money order for
same. There is 43 in this list, making
125 in less than two months. Get right
after the boys and you are sure to
get them. Let every sub try to send
in a club of five Or more reright at once.
and cover our friend Pearson up with
subs (Thank you, Bro. Crawley. IF
every subscriber would do one-half
} or one-fourth as much as you have
done, The FooI-Kiiler would soon
have a million subs. Let everybody
initiate Crawley and there will be re-
joicing in this shop.-Pearson).
W. A. HEADRICK. R3~ Sulphur
Springs, Tex.-I have been taking The
Fool Killer for some months, and
look forward for the next one as eag-
erly as I would for letter from my
good old mother. All the fault I find
with it is that it don't come often e.
nough, and the only trouble is we
ought to be getting four of them at a
time instead of one, as my wife,
T daughter, mother-in-law and myself
t scramble with each other to get to
| read it first every time it comes. So
keep the little dickens coming. It is
a hummer and comes in full grown
doses-the kind this poverty stricken,
$ Democracy ridden, church-hypocritic
, country needs. Send me just as many
samples as you can, and l sure will
hand out each copy where it will dc
r the most good.
e
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01
The Devils Letter .

AZ C11C Ol1CA1Ap1Oy ca III AOA5AAOO0
the Benighted States and Else
where
NV dear Down-and- Outs Il am
feeling my oats this morning.
How are you? Guess you are
feeling your straw, because no.
tice you slept in straw-stack last
night. How did you like your
bed? Was it very cold? And
where did you get your break
fast? Guess that was cold, too, if
you got any.
Say, speaking of cold, [ don't
know what that word means. We
are never bothered with it down
here in my regions. Come to see
me next time you get cold. I'll
guarantee to thaw you up and
not charge you cent.
Yes, boys, J know I've got a
mighty bad name up there on
earth, and I guess I deserve it,
but to. save my gizzard [ can't
see that | am much worse than
some of your pretended saints gp
there. Take your fine city church
es, for instance. I've heard all
about how you poor homeless
and jobless fellows have tried to
get permission to sleep in the
peWs Of those fine churches on
cold nights, and how you were
driven out by the police and q
mob Of outraged saints. "
Now I'm not boasting Of my
goodness at all, but never was
guilty of such a low-down deed
as that. never have turned any
body off that came to my place
asking for admission, and I new
er expect to. I've got just oodlins
of room for all that want to come,
and the dirtiest, hungriest tramp
on earth is, just as welcome as
the millionaire dressed in broad
cloth. My motto is, "A warm
welcome for ALL
And so I want to say to you
unemployed fellows-you hun
cry and destitute tramps and
buns wrecked vessels on
the sea of life-don't give up the
fight! If the preachers and their
religious followers turn you down;
if Big Biz bounces you and So
ciety shuns you, and you fee
like there is no place where yor
are wanted-don't give up the
fight! After the governments o1
men have failed to give you {
chance, and after the so-callee
Church Of Christ has lifted W
it's dainty foot and kicked yol
out into the cold, you can throw i
back into their hypocritical faces
that the hell they denounce from
their pious pulpits is the onl.
place a poor, thinly-clad, shiver
ing mortal can go to get warm
Your plutocratic preachers AM
reformers are all the time de
nouncing me and my business
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

their tongues to, and they 60
right ahead and drive you to
this place by refusing to let you
in anywhere else. Amt that the
truth, boys?
And say, you fellows, there is
another thing about this unem-
ployment business in it's relation
to the present war that maybe
you hadn't thought Of. So I just
want to give you an idea. Your
preachers and statesman ought
to have told you of this a long
time ago, but since they haven't
done it, it is better for you to
get the information from the
Devil chats me) than not to
get it at all.
You know this much at least.
You know that there are count
less thousands of honest work
ers tramping from place to place
and looking in vain for work.
Especially is this true in regard
to the Benighted States of Amer
ica. Well, if you think this con-
dition just came about by acci-
dent, you certainly do need to
have your head bored for the
simples. There never was an ef-
feet without a cause. And there
is a deep-seated cause for all the
present unhappy conditions
throughout the world. These con
ditions exist because it is tc
somebody's advantage to have
I them exist. Well, it isn't tC
YOUR advantage, is it, Rubei
You don't look as if you were
making a fortune out Of it, any.
way. Then who is getting the
benefit Of your suffering? Yor
can bet the holes in your old coat
that SOMEBODY is getting the
benefit. Can you fgger out who
it is and give me the answer
rig hit quick? It's as easy as drop
ping a wet cake of soap wher
you learn how. Listen:
The hundred or so Of multi
millionaires who own and contro
the earth are always getting ul
fuses among themselves abou
their various financial interests il
the governments that they tot
around in their vest pockets. Ant
, as they consider their own yale
: hides too precious to pum]
; bullets into or to otherwis
disfigure by a personal en-
counter, it becomes necessar.
l to have their fighting don
, by such poor fellows as you. An
in order to make you fellow
4 more willing to go to the war AM
! get killed, they begin by max
} ing your lives so miserable tha
! you would just about as soou di
as to try to live. They get you
5 feeling like being shot to deaf
1 couldn't be any worse than pei
Y ishing to death, and then yo,
: are ready to enlist and 'die fo
The fool-killer., 1915-03-01

Congress spent all the money
in sight and had nothing else to do,
so it very kindly adjourned.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09
off Again On Agah
Ion sprsngzyturnn

Hope SnfsngEyfufnm
thad an awful night. but n n MORN
And Hope stands uD and begs 10 be
reborn.
Last week my business brought mo
only fret
The morning malls not been deiiv-
cred yeti
1t may contain an order that will
give
Me not alone a chance to work and
live.
But 20 put by some for a rainy day,
I don't expect II. but. you know. IL
MANi
And when tho mails been laid up
on my desk
With its assortment, cheeky and
frotesque.
OF begging schemes such as no man
may heed.
! find not that which I so sorely
need.
I will not yet despalr-you bet I
WON'T
People who have good gumption al
ways don't.
Because Il hasn't come, must ! be-
wail2
Great. Cesar. not Therell be an
other mail.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09
lrn nInnNY pnnrnF1s.

NFRECEDENTED harvcss re-
turns. with many crops show.
ine production returns which
may remain unhroken for yaars. are
shown IN the department of aeneui-
tar.'s November ropor, made nrom a
can,ass I'll the coantry on November
. and issued yesterday.
The thrce-hlinon bushcl corn crop
Will be worth two billion dollars.
wheat. with q production 81 AZ
mosi one-fourth Of the entire worid's
euirut ,his year. has established a
record never before reached ~ that
crop In any nation The American
harvest this year exceed tnc previous
record production OF Nhtat IN TINS
unit by more than fit eoo.e 900
bushels.
uats. barley, rye. sweet potatoes.
hay. rice. tobacco and peaches all
have been produced in quantities new
~ before harvested In a single year
In tho history Of the nation.
with higher prices being paid 10
farmers because Of European war in
nuence. the nations crops thia year
undoubtedly viii be the most talu-
able ever Known. notwithstanding the
heavy production which ordinarily
would have the effect Of lowering
prices
An this ia respectfully referred to
ihose gloomy gentlcmen IN various
editorial anarien throughout tha
country who teaal ere tearing n-iF
hair Ia IN 10 Nrent plausible
stories indicating co. immediate APP.
preach Of national astcr. u fInan-
eiaI panic and industrial ruin. such
stories are badly needed in certain
political circles. A national election
is now less than a year away state
like the above. official and not
To be osntradicted or successfully
modified In any way, make tho task
Of the political calamity howlers u
this nation peculiarly difncult.
The wnr may continue. or the war
end this Month OF next month
Bat conditions In the United stutes
are such shaI a continuation Of the
present satisfactory business condi-
tions is certain. Nothing can change
them bat some unforeseen nation
wide calamity such as iuyolvemen; In
the European struggle. And the n-
tercsis 81 his nation are So admir-
ably guarded In this respect By the
man on whose administration the ca
lami'y nowlcrs strive 10 reflect. that,
our horizons are el but clear even Of
small clouds.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09

- MANI HtAli fuiiaN
" ~ agriculturailst. has given
Qua d statement e. uho ncws-
papers iu Mss county Co. which he dir
cussea interestingly and sensibly con-
dtions az the the recent siito faIr.
aud results therefrom. Mi. MnHl-
neau is q practical agricultural worker
ana is gettine results boa bis county.
lie Us anxious 10 sec the state nir
prorress. ls hc sees in "a an Incentive
% farmers 60 ercater effort ana more
iuteliigent work His Views therefore
are thos, 90 % sincere we'll wishcr Of
the nthte fair and NOT crll. Brcf
iy he approves the coanty competitive
plan adopted Tor the first time this
year and In which the money ayuil-
able Tor agricultural prizes was
awarded 60 winning committee instead
Of 90 individual Hut Do.
holds that prize mon rbuuon
must 20 further and a. provision
must Dee made for cash prizes ior DIE
individual competitor as vol as for
the counties
THE year out state rir WAS ia
splendid succcss ho says. "and Z me-.
Hure hat every Individual VINO ate
tended ana every county reprcscutcd
has only favorable comment io make.
AS Hefm Unanimous 20 assuring sup.
pom For the coming mIr. Tile :
re'a of any agricultural fair as 3D. uef-
tutnent Institution depends upon th,
Individual farmer VIM produces th,
products for The eAhi1its Far tl.s
Eeafun every possible means sbrrif
BE- used Go encourage lh. mIsIdsa.
farmer
"rnis year premium.
awarded n bulk oou.t,. .t
the ndiuduaI m who helped ta
make the various county exhibits po.-
aible by mruahlng the agricultural
products received no money awards
whatever. ~ thc offering Of "a county
ptize Will arouse interest ana arsura
comp"tiuon between t4cut,.two conn-
Ties of the state the awarding uf In
ditidual cash premiums viii produce
tho same results among several thou-
sand farmers individual awards aIi
make IL possible Tor he farmers OIL
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09
Vest Pocket ESSAYS
ANCESTORS
BY GEORGE FITCH

A NCEsTORs arc found along
~ with old furniture and captive
skeletons In all of our best
regulated families. Ancestors con
sist of forciothcrs and ioremothcrs.
90 say nothing OF i|orcuucles and
aunts. who have done something
grand or noble, like being hehcadcd
by a king or having a relative who
was governor OF a colony. This en-
ables them 10 be pointed 40 with
pride by their descendants forever
more.
Being an ancestor is ~ Of the
easiest and most attractive OF jobs.
IL merely consists ct being boosted
by ono'd descendants. Thus. many
ancestors have been enabled Co make
good after they are dead. More than
one ancestor who has gone out OF
this life @ poor person. and only a
few jumps ahead Tie sheriff. has
had The good fortune. O. century later,
20 become the ancestor cd some am.
bitiOua family WITH plenty ul money.
and las become 800 famous iu cousc-
qucnce that his tombstone has had
% Doc greatly enlarged aud improved.
Ancestors arc one 0t the most
valuable md satisfactory of possess
siOns. they are ~uontax0hlo anil
cannot be stolen. Their Ipkcep ls
practically nothing. and 'lrv do not
detCriorafe with age ar neglect. lu
fact. they increase Bon value 1a they
grow oi0cr. An For 600 years
old is worth "a whole mass meeting
Of nfty veIr-Old 1neas tors Adam
is the oldest ancestor. BE is G.N10
years Cld, and had q nug record But
hc is o common posse ion. like odl.
cation and liberty 800 he Is moi vol.
ucd very highly.
Almost am rich people own and op-
crate aueo tors. nut tine poorest
man may have them. too Many "a
mau who hasn't two vests to his
name. aud cannot hold O. Job two
mjuatof. has ancestor HIieH ara the
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09
Views Of The, Press
Comic Relief In Belgium

stands This impressive building is
q bnrrack now, and shortly after
Brus OILS was occupied two 5l-milli-
meter guns wore swung into position
near %, commanding the Marollian
quarter. Az 500 as they were
placed. from every house In tho
quarter where there was am extra
length nt stovepipr "a dummy cannon
w1H showed ont os % window.
The soldiers made the Naroliian7
take down the s|toynHince. bat they
could not arrest @ quarter OF q mill
lion people.
Rceul1r patrols Wor" placed In tho
quarter then. $500 the half-grown
Nlroll.gn boys orpuuizDd 90 patrol
the atrets also. stitching carrots
through the tops OF old derby hats.
They cuutriyVd fair limitations OF the
German helmets, ana for arms they
carried hrOu Wsiicss, into tlp ends of
which Nuivoa had hocu tied They
p|atrlllgd tIp streets aB |o0nsciou.
fi0usiy g8 tHD Germans and Chuuarl
The guard if regularly Every time
the German Governor issued 100 order
tho Nurollian commander ala like
WiHn and his was pasted mp beside
the other.
One of tho orders issued by tho
German Governor was hardly moro
than e. piece OF advice to tHu people
to go hu,k t0 what work they could
find. Il was not uuliudly meant.
Rut the Marollians posted an order
d,rcctln~ no one 60 return 90 work,
Swing os % %Toa8on. brussels O. tom-
uorarily cloicd Tor purposes OF ca.
larHrmcnt
When white paper was pasted over
this. a group Of MarOllians Kept star
ing at n until the German sentry
asked them what they were doing.
We are looking mt a map of Ger
many after the war, 70 Of them
cuOlly repllod.--7hC MtgrGTy Digest.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09

every county 10 receive money rrlacs
and every county viii be benefited
thereby. whereas under the present
plan IL is only possible for three coun-
ties 20 receive cash premiums.
The oncrins o. a lnrser money
prise 20 Inc counties is very import
ann a. u assures centralized cnor on
Che part 81 The counties. but such a
premium should be offered. provided
additional money h sin available
after a suitable list Of awards ia made
to the farmers Of the state. This is
merely = suggestion and expression
from the other counties Of the state
on hts subject Is invited"
The caninr Of ala this for Albu.
queraue and for New Mcxicans who
are Interested IN the progress and de-
vclopmcnt 81 the stale fair Is simpl,
that adequate financial provision for
~ m%aintenrncc must be made by the
state. Mr.. Martmeau would noe ex-
poet Albuquerque business men 20
double the prize money given FOR ag-
rlculiural competition this year. he
knows thar We caunot loo expected TO
do so. Yet his demand for county.
bulk awards and Tor cash prizes Tor
individuals r. entirely reasonable. The.
Individual farmer who exhibits al
winning product has a risht % expect
q cash prize Tor his successful EFFORT
The discussion thus started Is help
fui and Il Is TO be hoped that g. VIII
De continued actively by men who are
actively Interested Ia the devciupmon,
Of ihe state fair a. an ail-state inau.
tuten ~ creates capacity for ser,-
Ice
This statement suggests O long line
og discussion regarding the future OF
the fair. Il is obviously bud nnan e
that requires an expenditure of from
two TO ten thousand dollars In equip
ping a temporary fair ground, money
Is an absolus dead load during
the fair preparation end q lead loss
the FAIR Is over. Yet untn per-
manent fair grounds have been pro-
Albuquerque must go on bearing I
this heavy dead weight OF expense.
was no other way out fog this
very successful fair manage
ment' and there will De- no way ou
for next yeur's manascrs. unless we
begin now a campaign which viii
change the existing conditions
n M means. 10 Albuquerque chat
time % SET busy on next years
ale fair plans Is rieht now. This
.aay sound Extreme To- some 81 tho
who for five or six months of this
ear worked their heads weary on tho
fair Yet these are the men who viii
be the nrsi 10 realize that delay ~
planning for next years fair is dan
mor dangerous than ever be-
fore, because the state has boon given
a real fair. .; will be satisfied with
nothing less IN The future.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09

WORRY states oi rae Union have
taken legal action toward salc-
guarding the sanitation of pub.
DC school buildings. according to %
bulletin On "schooihouse Sanitation"
just issued by the bureau of education
OF the United states department OF
the interior.
Probably uine-tcnths Of the ex-
isiins regulation of this sort has come
within the past decade. declares th.
hu.letln Each state profits by ihc
experlcnce uf A. others a law parsed
IN % extreme of the COUNT, today
is copied next month or next year by
a state 1000 oy 5000 miles dI-tau,
T%hirty-eiEht states have some l.sl!
provision regarding the school si,
according 10 the bulletin. Nearly ai
Of these provisions are statewide ir
thoir application and are mandatory
in Character These provisions ia-
eiude Tho proximity 81 --nuisanres
availability OF the site. and size OBJ
BE- site. Nineteen states hase iav
prohibiting the location of school
buildings Within % specified distance
from places where liquor Is SOLID, from
gomhhng houses housr OF pf1stItu.
tion aud noisy or smoky ne,arI,
Thirty cot the states have SOUGHT
90 resuiatc ,ao water supps of Tho
pHHiic school. THE revolt as,.n.r
tne common drinking emp. sass th,
has como within The p1 3
five ears. Kansas was the pioneer
'at other states followed rapidl. Bad,
t'at nos hair of the entire number
hove either 70 law co. 20 regulation f,.
eardinF drinking cups"
SOME form cot protection ar,.n.f
sire and panic Ga found .a as t,t.
h.antet regulation. ar tb, raVcr .s.
mui'e fuch r@egulat.ouz cal., .n
states General or peo.al .n.tm,-.
il'n ~ith o. view Co ngo prevention
dealt with Boo 10 states Thlrtpeu o..
.ns states have something 90 say az
to '%affdor and .ausr -ta.roa,s 90.
Be- regulations as Ca exits. and 90 az
exterior esrtpcs 900 mention alarm
.ud ire-frhuur npparatuf. ana d
.i'tos provide by law or regulations
Cog hr, drills. LESS Than haIf r..
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09

Cows are what supply the basis
OF the milkman's justly-celenrated
product.
After the ripping rill or tho
pump have put on the finishing
touches. the wagon starts.
Nearly every dairy ilas n COW or
20 displayed prominently I'm the
pasture nearest the public road.
This Is the sign OF q dairy. Just
rs a pole Of varied spiral colors Is
the sign Of q barber shop.
BARRIERS used 70 bleed people.
and COWS used TO be depended On
TO supply milk.
Some dairymeu cling ~ that old
fashioned and ant3quntod habit.
Any daifymRn who gets sore
about this is a nice dairyman, and
We didn't mean him az all.
So why should he stop his sub
scriptiun and cuss the editor out?
When n approaches a COW for
n purpose or an udder. said COW
Is requested Cat least she used 10
bel to back her leg.
This Is ~hguratlyo. The COW Is
really expected 10 go away with
three OF her legs, leaving the on
hind one where II was.
Then the squirtfest begins.
We well remember when W.
we're as nearly AN %innorent child as
we ever were. that we used 20 get
much pleasure out Of milking.
Far more out OF %. than ga Il.
We remember. with tears IN our
beautiful eyes, an old s%eersucker-
colored a who would rear up on
his hind legs, or hind up on his
rear legs, whichever way you pre-
fer 10 have IL said, and open his
mouth while we MIXED large.
warm, juicy. creamy streams into
said oriGce
This feline target practice was
sometimes Interrupted by our male
parent with o. large and macadam-
lied barrel staye.
Couatry lie ls one Of unalloyed
joy.
II IS nice 90 look back nt o. and
10 know that 90 Will stay back there
and won't backhrc Du u.s.. or re-
Gpond so any OF 1ur fool encores.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09
Current Poetry
Somewhere In France

Somewhere in Franco tho fovered
day is ending;
Bolatcd wild birds IN their home
ward fight
Circle aud Dip, the while, with sweet
insistCnCc,
They voice their soft complainings
10 the night,
Somewhere In Franco tho warm
groom Of her meadows
Cleans red and dank beneath tho
arooding stars:
but what 10 her are blossom TINA
and harvest
Whose fields are sown and gar.
nered by red Mars?
Somewhere IN Franco the sodden
trenches cover
Dreams Of warm vineyards basR.
ing I'm the sun,
or little children calling through tbs
twilight,
OF love and pence and home when
day Is done.
Somewhere IN France tho su,Ien
night Is nearing,
bringing no dreams 10 those WIN
would forget;
But what are dreams 10 him WIN
knows no waking,
For whom the sun shall no mora
rise and set?
FLORENCE Jones Hadley. I'm Ma,
York Times.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09

ili.l l'F' .'h 'n't'" ana
Hl 'nouHt DID H..ri1m' ana
undoubtedly moro SUD are fet
81 .. VINO Aa. i'.'hN. returned
from talJ't' nation b. able %
i'' i'ni i IIill' .'ulf'rel
100 I,'I' .lHi VI h'ii .i'n instant
,'l ... W l, '..' lN'i inc
Aili'" "'' soon 0'l. i'. Germans
"ul hHi h" .'' '. l a'imrs'
"l OTTO. Ir,T "i i tIi
ha'' IIni lliil
n0l''' earring 'H ..iT.I' 'I inc
NiiN .'. queen 90. ''I''1ul' ana.
"''
's l'' 'ri'y 800 "h'r'
yearly ... "h.'. 'o.' ii'a haunt
Dry i' nF PORTRAITS
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1915-11-09

medisteiS upon discovery iu N
> heoi of any Of d certain class Of
d~iscascs. Three 81 the states have
a special iist Of specific diseases ,has
call 1T once Tor action This list in
ciudcn scarlet fever. smallpox anc
d%tphtherla Ia an three states. measles
IA twp ana nfantiic paralysis, cpl
deniic snins. MENINGITIS and bubonic
piauec 10 each