The Washington times., 1915-09-29

The street faker. sideshow srieler.
vender Of gaudy souvenirs and the easy
money men are with US today. Loud
voices and fulsome promise are as Gus
tomary on Pennsylvania avenue and
other byways as G. A. r. veterans and
home State banners. The visitor and
his dime are soon parted. and he who
would be thrifty and uncOnvinced must
look straight ahead and close his ears
to the platitudes Of the professional
spellbinders
On the streets Of Washington during
encampment week one may buy any
thing from hat band Showing where
you are from" 70 a hrst-hand inspection
Of a six-legged dog.
The Times investigator knows this to
be so. He has spent several hours and
as many dollars in a tour OF inspection
and the said tour Is hereby described
for the benefit Of the wary and unwary.
Public Usually Falls.
The G. A. r. encampment brought a
crowd to Washington. Where there's q
crowd there are ALWAYS fakers-sone
harmless and honest. others preying and
emitting empty promises. The public
generally falls for the game. realizing
anything .froA 2 to 100 cents on the dol
lar.
Re-enforced by an expense account.
countenance, The Times investigator
hied himself forth into the world of
sideshow aiiurements. He spent money
like a ''rube." for that was his Job
who expects to be taken in," and en-
says he is "slumming." were spending
money too. 1t was a glorious occasion
that his voice wasn't as lasting as a
political orators and he had only two
hands to take In the coin.
Get banner and let 'em know where
", T9u'rs r. from" spieled the first vendcr
The Times man met.
That's just what don't want 'em ia
know" said the amatuer detecertiff.
Take banner from some other
state then. kid: the State can't help
A Wild West Show.
Something that bore an outside re-
semblance to a wild west show occupied
(for the week. perhaps) an empty store.
Some Of the greatest wonders Of the
worid, the spieier said. were to be seen
10 cents. The Times Investigator
entered and was Immediately greeted
by strong-voiced lady. She was
elaborately tattooed and was attired In
dess.
Would the gentleman like to gaze
upon the marvellous six-legged dog?
sure The lady led the way to a box
and partly lifted therefrom drowsy
cur. alleged to be a native of Mexico,
which looked as tired and disgusted al
| Villista soldier in retreat
| Il have handled his (or her) so much
| today only take him partly out" said
! the lady. The dog appeared grateful.
| II" han four we'll developed legs and
two little offshoots from the front ones.
| The boS lid was slammed down and the
dos went back to sleep. -
! over In corner was a pair Of nervous
heEsTsaid to have come all the way
| from Japan.
| These hens are worth $780," said the
] LADY. DID you ever see pair Of hens
you'd give 800 for?'
Who'd Believe This.
Never said the visitor. NOR chick
ems either"
MY brother sent them to me. He's
always doing something nice See the,
haven't feathers; theil feathers look
| like fur-deltcate Like. One Of 'em has
seventeen toes 1--WE believe that was the
number"
| Her henship. however was sttinl
| down on her toes at the moment and
| showed a decided disinclina ton to arise
| and show them.
| or n nedestal to the right as perch~S
' a stuffed calf with two heads! Hs
Sszed mournfuliy at another deformc