The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1915-01-29
MEXICO
Is The Land Of Hot Stuff,
Bull Fights
Revolutions, Chile Con Carne
And Other Things
New York Telegraph)

'INcW lcic6idpuJ
Mexico is large triangular country
to the immediate south Of us which is
infested by much more tropical at
mosphere than its position on the map
would Indicate. 1t is bounded OH the
north by Villa and Orozco, on the
east by United States gunboats, on
the south by Central American riots
and on the west by eight yards of self
starting hades.
1t produces chilli con carne, torea-
dors, Mexican monte, revolutions, Car
ranza's whiskers and sleepless nights
for American Cabinet officials. Re
belling is the principal industry. Five
poems and dog, REINFORCED by one
mule and small detachment of fieas,
can install rebellion which will run
for six months without fuel or water.
causing gooseflesh to amble up the
spines of the entire foreign popula-
tion.
When not otherwise engaged the
Mexican puts in his time watching
lean and cadaverous bull pass through
the various stages of matadoritis. But
having been attacked by revoluting In
it's most malignant form he has for
some time been compelled to forego
his favorite pastime, and thus life
has become one long, sweet holiday
for the bull, which is no more consid
cred an extra hazardous risk.
The Mexican Is also addicted to the
siesta habit, and promptly at high
noon he will adjourn all other activi-
ties to fold up peacefully in his tracks
and snore till 2 o'clock. If the rurales
are attacking the insurgents when the
midday whistle blows all hands drop
their guns while the opposing leaders
lock arms, retire to the shade of a
neutral and comfortable sagebrush
and snoOze Justify into each others
ear for two hours. Then they will
arisee much refreshed to resume hos
| tilities.
Mexico il noted for It's beautiful
senOritas, the most beautiful of which
are that handsome pair, the Generals
Geneveve de la o and Inez Salazar.
The senorita's beauty consists of an
olive complexion, which turns to Il
comely pea-green on the approach of
a revolution; and she has a pair of
flashing black eyes which are almost
as fatal to the innocent bystander as
are the guns of her male cOuntrymen.
IL Is said the senorita's charms are
shot-lived and that she fades early, but
this may be due partially to the Incl
dental fact that she also marries ear
ly.
The Mexican himself goes in for
black hair and skin tinted to the gen.
ial hues of superannuated saddle.
However, his fast color stands him in
good stead. preventing him from turn
ing pale under fire, and as he spends
a majority OF his years In that state
this Is considerable aid. He Is much
given to powder, but always Of the
smokeless brand, and, ladylike, invari-
ably carries his powder pun in his
boot. 1t Is pretty and fetching thing
to see an adult revOlutionist on a sun
shiny day out In his yard unselflshly
powdering the noses of his neighbOrs
with a sawed-off shotgun or old army
revolver.
The Mexican IL also prone to cigar
cites, goldtrimmed hats and aversion
to manual labor. He can roll cigar
ette with one hand while he scratches
himself with the other. He will stand
around for days thoughtfully cOntem-
plating work, but when 1t rises up and
begs to be done he will back away
loudly shouting, "Manana!" The only
time a Mexican shows any abundant
haste is when he is being pursued by
robust and neet-footed job.
He will spend his last peso for an
ornamental lid. If he has no last peso
he is willing to borrow one from a
friend. He may have sagged down to
| hihSit iilJOio uhu SulIl u uOutH, Dut
he will still earnestly yearn for silver
and gold braid on his headgear. The
truoble with Mexico today is the un.
equal distribution of wealth. The pe.
ons own all the revolutions while the
upper classes have hogged all the fan.
cy hats.
The favorite indoor sport Ia storing
away kuarantines of chill con carne
and Mexican mescal. Chile, like many
other things Mex. is just the opposite
OF its name. II is very warming, and
after the native has partaken freely
he adJourns to the open air, addresses
a few unpatriotic remarks into the
Silly night and Is promptly hanged to
convenient cactus. The mesca Is a
brand OF intoxicant lured from the
same cactus. 1t smells like seorched
boot, and while passing down the
throat craatao tha haIfaf a., tbo ..t..t.