The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-04-08
Tales of the Town

"I'll let you know in the morning
is a mans way of saying "Pll ask m!
wife,
A child sometimes gets on tn,
wrong track on account of misplaced
switch.
There's only one thing worse thar
a person who gossips, and that is the
person who never knows any.
| About the supremest pleasure in
life is turning over and going to sleep
after the mean old alarm clock has
done its worst.
"Fellow citizens" said the colored
orator, "What am e-ocation? Educa-
ton am the palladium of our liberties
and the grand pandemonium of civil
/ lization."
Lloyds, the dispatches say, are bet
ting even money that the European
war will be over by June 30, and odds
of 2 to | that peace will be restored
by September 1. Wouldn't it be a
fine joke if the war was declared off
before Italy could make up it's mind
to get in?
A young man had a tender passion
and took his girl some flowers. Glow
kind of you" said the girl, "to bring
me these lovely flowers. | think there
is some dew on them yet" EYES,"
said the youth in visible embarrass-
ment. "there is. hut am going to pay
it off tomorrow"
An old farmer in the upper country
was discussed when he heard some
of his friends discussing the silo as
if IL was a modern invention. "Thar
amt nothing new about it," he de-
clared. Haven't / heerd 'em tell
many time about having fit at the
Battle of Silo in the Civil war;"
"Yep" said the young fellow, give
already had the humps, whoopin'
cough, chicken pox, hives, measles,
boils, stone bruises and three fish
hooks cut out O. my feet, and so l
haven't got anything to worry about
until fall in love and begin to shave"
"Well, no." yawned Old Bill al amt |
takin no paper now. but Teller GIN
me sample copy luther day and, |
sorter sketched over the headlines.
Well, as nigh as | could make out, in
the fightin' over thar in Europe they
have plum quit warrin' in the streets
and taken to shootin' up the Allies"
4 q q
Secretary Bryan's oft quoted "What
is so mysterious as an egg ?" appeared
to be the last word in appreciation of
the queen of breakfast foods. His
tribute has been surpassed, however,
by that of an old colored philosopher
who said; Chicken, sub, is the use
fullest animal they is. You en- eat
EN- TO they's bon an aftah they's
laidi"
didn't raise my hair to go and leave
mel
raised it for to cover I'm my bean:
)ne time | had a mop of hair, believe
me, /,
But now the hairs are few and far be-
tween;
we used "Hope for the Bald" by
quarts and gallons, il
let | am getting balder than an eggl
The peskv flies they think
Ny heads skating rink!
didn't raise my hair to go and leave
mel
A newly enrolled volunteer was
ather alarmed during his first ex-
'erierce of sham battle, especially
IS he heard the colonel in command
ay that everything was to be done
IS IN actual warfare. No sooner was
he first blank cartridge fired than
he frightened soldier dropped his '
run and took to his heels. "Hey! |
where are you running TOT" shouted {
he captain as he fed past him. "Oh," {
aid the man, at is all right, sir. IL
I'm just doing the same as l would {
10 in actual war" {
z 4 4 t
"once upon a time" began the '
eacher, 1.-TWO little brothers started s
o Sunday school one Sunday morning