davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

WiTTEL.-D!ed, at the residence OF
her parents. .2ll Randolph street.
OGtoher -. az O'Clock \. N, AIDE
LINE "lTTEL. daughter of c. W.
"ittel and the late Lula a. warriner.
age eighteen years and eighteen days
she leaves two sisters. Mrs Eva Chill :
Charles O. Wittel
Funeral notice Inter
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
FOR SALE-Machinery.

HOSTING engines, concrete mixers
pumps. clam shell buckets, pipe
road rollers and other contractors
equipment. I. Bluford & Co
FOR sale. small cider press /. Blu.
ford e. Co.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

WANTED, carpenters. Apply w. A
Chesterman, 1907 West Broad
BOY to run errands. Trade Engraving
Co. oil East Main Street.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
FOB RENT-Real Estate.
FOR RENT-Business Property.
FOR RENT-Elats.

FORCED TO SACRIFICE BEAUTIFUL
5-ROOM FLAT: EVERY CONVE-
NIENCE: ONE DOOR FROM JITNEY
LINE. BOULEVARD 1881.
WANTED to suitcase fat on Virginia
Avenue. Barton Heights. consisting
OF . rooms. electric lights. private bath
Price, $50. Address G.. c. King, 20
Box 553
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
SPECIAL NOTICES.

TO whom II may concern:
l am not responsible for any debts
heretofore or hereafter contracted by
any one but myself
THOMAS J. WALKER.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

MCHELBACHER-D at the rest
uence OF her sister, Mrs. VI. II Asher,
ESlt Kensington Avenue. SUNDAY.
LINE. daughter of the late Rev. If J
NtChelbachcr, In the SEVENTEEN year
o. her age She leaves five sisters. Mrs
mary Bella Beaie Braiuerd, OF Seattle,
Wash. Mrs. Sam Cohen. Mrs Sam
Bendheim. Mrs. ". II. Asher, Miss Fan
nEe Michclbacher and two brothers.
Funeral MONDAY AFTERNOON at 4
O'Clock from the Nortuary Chapel. He
brew Cemetery. Please omit howcrs
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
FOR SALE-Real Estate

HOPEWELL income property, 20
rooms and store. Rents $3.50 per
month. Price, $4,000. viii take Rich
inond lot in part trade. Address c 400,
care Tlmes-Dispatch.
INCOME proposition at Hopewell. q
story building. Rents $50 per month.
Price, sl,250 Address ID BIS, caro-
Times-Dispatch.
STORE PROPERTY FOR SALE
STOREHOUSE. 30x6o. 2-story, Groom
ali new: 10 acres land: good 'i ioc"t,on;
for poultry; 5 miles from station. Price.
$4,000 TO quick purchaser Address L..
p. Walden. Sutherlin. Va.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

WANTED. experienced man in grocer,
business. Apply 70l West Clay.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

YOUNG man who has had some expe-
riencc in a printing Office and knows
the case. Bi%by's Letter Co, 420 Amer
lean Bank building.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
AUCTION SALES-To-Day
BY j. d. Carnival & SON.
Real Estate Auctioneers

COMMISSIONERS SALE OF NOS. eoo
NORTH TWENTY-NINTH STREET.
1920 BALDWIN STREET. Ic22 BCCH
ANAN STREET AND TWENTY FIVE,
FEET ON SELDEN STREET (wOOD-
NlLLE).
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
Mthnma0 Giulps-pispatrb
sIXTY-FIFrH YEAR.
ADMITTEDLY
THE SOUTH FOR CLASS
IFiED ADVERTISING.
TELEPHONE YOUR WANTS TO

TELEPHONE YOUR WANTS TO
THE MES-DISPATCH
HANDoLPII RANDOLPH
- WANT AID. RATES,
ONLf, one cent a word when paid In nd
vance. No ad. taken for Less than 10 cents
SUNDAY. one and one-hnlf cents a word for
I'll CLASSIFIED ads. excpct Situation Wanted
az one cent word. No I'D. taken for less
than 1t cents.
~ ADS. taken fo- iesA than rs cents when
charged or phon%d in. Phoned orders not
guaranteed. Classification not guaranteed
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
BY YERBY- COMPANY, INC.
zoos Hull Street
Real Estate Auctioneers
TRUSTEES AUCTION SALE OF SMALL
FARM ON THE NEW COURTHOUSE
ROAD. ABOUT FIVE MILES FROM
SOUTH RICHMOND.

gu 1NlIt1MOND.
In execution Of a deed OF trust dated
December IL, 1913, and recorded In the
clerks office of Chesterfield Clrcui,
Court. d. b. 1874. page 500. default hav-
ing been made in the payment OF a
portion of the debt therein secured. and
being required so to do, I will sell by
auction on the premises on
MONDAY. OCTOBER IS. 1915.
at o'clock p. NJ,
the above mentioned farm. The prop
erty contains 46R acres, and Is situated
on the New Courthouse Road. bout five
miles from South Richmond, adjoining
the lands Of George Trent. A Watkins
and Thomas Watkins; together with the
fve-room dwelling and all other i'm
provementS thereon.
TERMS: Cash.
p. c. YERBY, SR.,
Trustee.
n. B.-While the terms OF sale require
all cash, the auctioneers will make a
reasonable loan to party purchasing the
DrODerty
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
DEATHS

LlNS1E.-Dicd. at his residence, zoos
West Cary, y. a. LIVSlE. October II,
1913. age thirtyseven years He liz
surVived by wife. Gertie; one daughter,
maggie: one son. "a. l., all OF this city
three brothers. 7. J Livsie. Of Norfolk.
ana a. T.. and ". D.. of this city He
was !. member OF AboH Ben Adhem
Odd Fellows Lodge. Richmond Nest OF
Owls and Painters Union, No. lois
Funeral from residence TO-DAY at
\. VI. intcrnent At Rivcrview
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
BUSINESS CHANCES.
Lumber for Sale

Rough and dressed lumber, sash
blinds. doors, frames. Large stock
Low prices.
RICHMOND LUMBER CO, INC,
Fourth and Stockton Streets.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
FOR SALE

AZ "A big bargain, No. 3101 West Main
Street. new corner brick dwelling:
steam heated, electric lights and new
ly papercd all through. Owner, now
resident will Sell at 81 bargain and
give long time II desired.
SUTTON & CO
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

WANTED. n tirst-ciass promoter to
promote n new machine. Address
1920 Hull Street.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
WANTED-Household Goods.

HIGHEST cash price paid for second
hand furniture in any quantity. Call
Raudolph 5Sl6
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
ADOPTION

A nice healthy baby will be given 10.
adoption to responsible person who
car furnish references. Write 100 West
Clay Street. City.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
wANTED-Board and Room

WANTED. steam heated room, Will
board. for lady and son, IL years old
Grace street preferred. State price
Address G. 400, care Times Dispatch
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
POULTRY AND BIRDS.

FOR sale. stereotypers mats. 1874:
flexible and tough: just tho thing to
limo chickcn-ho and orthouses: 81
per 100 pounds at the office; 26 cents
extra for out-of-town orders for cart
age Address Times DISPATCH
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18
HELP WANTED-MaIe.

RAILWAY mail clerks wanted Rich
mond examinations coming Write
immediately Franklin Institute. Clerk
6. Rochester y
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-10-18

ABLE BODIED men for fremen. brake
men; Sl20 monthly. Railway. L 218.
care Times Dispatch.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Current Comment.

In order to have no further perplexi-
ties over the question. what Is whts-
kyY' a number Of states have decided
that there will be no whisky.-Wash'
ingtoE Star.
The United States has In actual gold
metal almost as much as any other
two nations together. That illustrates
the wisdom Of not going 70 war
Philadelphia Ledger.
Il It q sign OF the times that the
Princeton students vote ESQ to 100
against compulsory week day chapel,
or b Il a proof that boy nature never
ehangesf-New YORK sun
Some day there win be q fool proof,
crook proof voting machine that WIN
make Voting an Agreeable paSdms and
Give the result a. soon a. the last bal
lot b east-ChicagO News
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Facts From France.

Firing at its highest speed q French
battery would take thirteen minutes
to cover every square yard within
range
The stores Of Paris that are sim do
ing business, even the big department
stores, are reported now 10 be closed
for an hour at noon because there are
not enough clerks left for one 10 -
Heve another at lunch time.
French candle makers have been de-
tected saving wax By leaving three
small holes around the wick length.
wise Of the candleA Thin portions of
wax at top and bottom cover the
cheat Melted wax nlls the holes a.
the candle burns.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
RaInIumIa Portman.

A Belgian who has money owing 10
him often hands the account to his
postman. who passes It through the Of
ice, to be presented to the debtor In
whatever locality the latter may re-
ode, and II payment be made the
creditor receives It from his pOstman
on the following day, with but q tn
ding deduction for commission.
As to newspapers, almost all regular
subscribers to q Journal pay their
money to q postmAn, and two or three
days before the subscription expires
that Official presents the notice for the
renewal OF the subscription during q
fresh term.
All this makes Of the Belgian post
man q kind Of ambulattng general
agency and bank Of deposit, and the
man q obliged 10 have q desk dung
IN mont Of him and to carry q locked
and chained portfolio under his arm
for valuahles, but he Ests through hls
Wotk enthusiastically, because his rounds
an short-PszrsOn,B Weekly.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Sealing Fish,

A Mississippi woman tails a. follows
in the Woman's Home Companion how
TO scale hsh with q minimum Of dis
comfort:
Scaling hsh a. generally done ID q
dlsagreeable task, a. scales hy In every
direction. have discovered that nsh
may be scaled without this trouble II
they are held under water in q large
pan during the operation. Have Just
enough water to cover the 6sh nicely"
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Echoes of the War.

European maxim, THERE'S gorI
enough for anF-WaShington Post
BE % O wise ambassador who keeps
bis trunks packed these dAyA-Chi-
eago News.
Turkey II making the mistake o1
thinking It can beat the other fellows
game.-Detroit Free Pres
The people who had an idea that tn
European war. begun altar breakfast
was going 20 end before dinner have
long since revised their opinion
Philadelphia Press
When the war began Il was In ID
rope. but was not European Today Il
threatens 10 develop into the nearest
thing to Q world war Of which history
has any record.-San Francisco Chron'
fcla.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Established 1890
cunldB, sherlock Hslmss.


A prominent alienist has presumed
70 put love On q scientific basis. He
has issued q formula BY which a
Doubling swain may ascertain without
tail the name Of bis closest rival for
sheF" affections.
Here It Is:
Carelessiy hold her" wrist, as II
eAressingiy. Crafty place your fore
finger on ~her" pulse. Then name
ever In casual conversation the rivals
you fear most When you name the
night one 'fher' pulse viii jump scan
dalously. II It increases something Ike
100 beats Jon might a. well quit the
raeA
10 OGset this mean betrayal the
alienist has issued some hints to the
air Sex On how to avoid .neryousness.
lSe1n gossip he Gays. and don't at
tsnd 70 other psnonst business or
EoEEy over their troubles ana yOu WI
- an Eighks
But hs doesn't say q Wcud - b how
DuIel1sa might have kept the fatAI
Dllae Jump nom giving hee away
OleFllsn1 Pllin DoalsE.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Ths NIGHT Writers.

Writers who habItuaIly WORK al Us ,-s
and all night, frequently get @Tbsu
nervous fancies. Huxley SAID bsar
I am working at night l not on lsS., ais
burglars moving about but ! ak tx b
Zee them looking through the eraeA :
the door at mel" ,,..., uiSbt
wo.Ee - untii he was frightened a. :
Il By the appearance OF anoI1sh M via
Collins, who sat down at tne -. dsSE.
him and tried 10 monopoHs ~ ~ Id,
There was q struggle anu III vi
sand was upset When tns T ms
h Collins came to nin oTpr 10
enough, the Ink was runnmS, aug
writing tabIa proof enough o S,v0 o
II. Aftsr that Mr.. CoulnS
uight work
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Ell. Faulkner, news agency; slO0 s.
State street.
Nine. Rosa Lee Tyler, ice cream cafe;
SS1s 8. State st.
George Martin, maker Of fine Gig
ars and nsEs stand, Is W. 3lst st.
near stat0.
B. II. HArvsyS barber shop and
news stand, 1924 State street.
". 8. Cole, cigars, tobacco and nsWI
stand, "a W. Slst St. near Dearborn
W. II. Maxwell, notions, cigars, to
bseco, CONNECTIONS and news stand
6244 State 81.
Edward Felix, notions, cigars Gno
news stand, SO W. sOth st.
r. BiShOp, cigars, tobacco and new
stand, , W. 9th 3d. near State.
Sylvester AeGloean, news stand and
laundry Ofies, 4l20 State 81.
William Gaughan, laundry ONCE
cigars, tobacco and news stand, 26sC
STATE 81.
Z. II. Oliver, notions, cigars and
news stand, Is ". seth Street. neal
State.
A D. Hayes, cigars, tobacco, notions
stationery and news stand, $40 8
State Sc.
George McFaro, shoe shining pGTlSrI
and news stand. sS0o1S State street
T. B. Han, Laundry ofies, cigars
tobacco and news stand. 36ls sOutl
State street.
Bsn 3 Afford, cigars, tobacco and
news stand. 1881 South State Strest
Fred n. WStsrhsld, cigars, tobacco
notions and nsWS stand, 6209 ssutl
State street.
Coleman 3 GlRnton, cigars, tobacco
and news stand, 3342 8. State street.
J. 8. williams, ladies and gents shO'
dressing ParlOr, laundry once Ant
news stand. IL E. 34th street
Miss E. n. Mccain, hair dressing
parlor and news stand. 80 ". sotl
street
=. n. Dihsy, cigars, tobacco, notion
and news stand. s6O5 State street.
A TuTpin, cigars, CONNECTIONS AM
nSwS stand, 3511 8. State street.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Tree Branches.

There are 500 recognized species 1t
trees In the United STATES.
The oak begins to rot at the heart at
the age Of about 800 years
A count Of the annual rings Of q
California redwood tree Indicated thar
4 began In career In $50 A. d.
Ths yellow poplar or tulip tree. TIE
largest hroadleaf tree IN America, has
ben known to reach nearly 200 fsss
= Aeight and pen feet in cianStsr.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Industrial Items.

About one-third Of Great Britain'I
telegraphers are women.
Over 1000 women belong to New
York printing trade unions.
There are about one and threequar
ter millions OF children between the
ages OF ten and fifteen engaged IN earn
ing their living IN the United States.
Before the war nearly all the coprs
produced In the Philippines went tc
France That market being closed nov
local vegetable OIL factories are beins
built to dispose Of the eocoanuts.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

She (tearfully l-Henry. our engage
ment Is at an end, and wish to return
to you everything you have ever given
me.
he (cheerilyl-Thanks, BlanchsI You
may begin at once with the kisses.
They are married now.-London Tele-
graph.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
A Back Number.

Il wouldn't dream Of marrying him.
Why, ne said he would do everything
to make me happy"
what Is wrong about thatF'
@He ought to know that humans are
put on earth 10 fulfill missions, not to
be happy."-PhiIadelphia Ledger.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Il thought yOu told NE that yOu
would not contract any nsw dsbts
without my knowledge" hoWlsd Mr..
Gabb a. be tore up . bunch Of dunnins
IsttsA
II haven't, my dear" rsplisd Nm.
Gabb. II merely expanded some Of
the old debts."-Cineinnati Enquiries.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
On Ruainaaa Bent.

~Can you make me q sheet iron man
dolinT
Il might, but It wouldn't have much
tone What do you want Of q sheet
iron mandolin. anyhow "
I'm trying 10 Serenade O girl, and
thay have q bulldog. rye busted seE-
sral instruments on him Next time I
mash him / want 10 smash him good
-KAnsas City Journal
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Handieapped.
Phone Randolph sos

Dr.. Curem-You will find your dys-
pepsia greatly alleviated, Mr.. Peck, by
cheerful and agreeable conversation at
your meals. Mr.. Peek-Thats good
advice, doc. but my income win not
Permit me to eat away from home
Terre Haute Express.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
PITH AND POINT.

Pacifying Mexico Is q perpetual NO
don Job.
Everything In Belgium has been shot
up but its courage.
Possibly the warning nations are too
heated to mind the rigors Of q WHITES
campaign
Another OF the mysteries OF life y
Why does a man want TO be president
Of Mexieo7
Opportunity rarely knocks at the
door when there's q gloomy face at
the window.
And think Of the volumes Of explana-
tion Of defeat that win be written after
the war Is oVerl
Wood alcohol has too innocent =
look. Il ought to hy q skull and cross
bones In its name
Old oceans bed seems also to Be
paved with q fine assortment OF armdr
plated good intentions.
Holland behind its dikes and Swift
Eeriand on top Of its glaciers may man
age to keep out Of the war.
Now that they have carried the war
into Egypt the correspondents may be
referred to the sphinx for news
The notion that artillery IRE pro
duces rain, a. the basis Of rain max
ing experiments, Is receiving q severe
jolt
Thom \. Edison remarks that
-Our present civilization IL only thin
veneer" Yes; and in a large share OF
Europe the veneer Il entirely scratch
ed OF.
In placing orders for hardware with
this country. European countries con-
tinue to overlook our special facilities
for producing plowshares made from
swords.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
IarroId anacxnie.

Ugiiest Of trades have their moments
Of pleasure. II 1 were q gravedigger
or even a hangman there are some peO-
pie ! could work for with a great deal
Of eRJOyment--Dougias Jerrold.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
TopieaI Medieinsa.

IN the order named Quinine, eaIomal.
castor Oh. ttncturs Of iron. opium ana
brandy are tns medicines most usod n
tie trOpieA
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
The Greater couraaa.


Men have offered up their lives by
the Thousands upon tho Geld Of battle,
but In the struggle for existence woman
II continually Offering up her life for
man. II there n q mission Of mercy 20
perform she undertakes II. II there n
suffering or distress to succor her WI
ling hand b always ready. II wretch
edness and misery need q comforter
Bhe Il present. The faintest whisper Of
pain brings her a. q pilgrim 10 tn
couch, and IN the chamber Of death
abe takes her place, asguaRing the
hopeless sufferer with the comforting
assurance that there Is q home beyond
the grave free from the agony Of pain.
She suffers herself without q murmur
OF complaint, and the man that would
IN the slightest degree add 10 It and In
crease the anguish that 1t Il her lot 20
bear is beneath the level Of the brute.
II she should happen to possess de-
fectS and faults. which every human
being has In q greater or less degree,
let him compare them with her virtues,
and especially with bis vices, and ey-
cry impulse Of bis better being win
prompt him to overlook them and make
due allowance Decentralization Ray.
ner.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

In Scotland the corn and grass nelds
are divided into spaces twenty to thir-
y yards wide BY q furroW madh BIZ
Q pl0W. These are termed Eigs.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Cherry Wood.

Cherry - the wood most used - q
backing for the metal plates from
which illustrations are printed In mag
axines and periOdicalA Il b chosen
above an others because Il holds IN
shape. does not warp or twist WORKS
smoothly and does not spit.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09
Not the sams Thina.

Il hear young spriggins has taken a
partner for Hfe."
mot necessarily, but he's married.
Livingston Lance.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Possibly the warning nations are tc'
heated to mind the rigors OF q Wints'
campaign
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Everything In Belgium has been Shc
ND but It's courage.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

I'm zRoAD Az GAN m Pou1ED
on aALn AT THz FOLLOWING
NKWs STANDS;
From on and after this data, The
Broad Az, sAn BE- found en- sale At the
following nsWS stands:
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Thorn \. Edison remarks that
Our present civilization Is only a thin
veneer" Yes; and in a large share OF
Europe the veneer Il entirely scratch
ed on.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Pscityins Mexico is a perpetual mo-
don Job.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

In placing orders for hardware with
this country. European countries con-
tinue to overlook our special facilities
for producing plowshares made from
swords.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Another Of the mysteries Of life 4
why does a man want TO be presiden
Of Mexieo1
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

The notion that artillery IRE pro
duces rain, a. the basis Of rain max
ing experiments, Is receiving a severe
jolt
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Opportunity rarely knocks at the
door when there's q gloomy face a
the window.
The broad ax., 1915-01-09

Now that they have carried the war
into Egypt the correspondents may be
referred to the sphinx for news
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-10-09

him and his buried comrades, while
life was fast ebbing away from them
in that pestilential hole in the Lehigh
Coal and Navigation company's tun-
mel mine at Coaldale
Don't write me up without telling
of the other boys" he began faint
ly. ut was but right, you see, that
1 should have bossed that little affair,
because l was the only American
miner in the gang.
eve were unloading a car of lag
gings when it happened. A blast of
air Knocked us all senseless for a
few seconds. A crash of falling
rocks, coal and timber followed.
1--WE were trapped. The gangwav.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1915-10-09
BY ]. H. DUCKWORTH

Tamaqua, Pa, Oct e.-How does
it feel to be entombed alive for seven
days a thousand feet under a noun
tain, in total darkness, living on wax
and rats?
This is the terrible experience nine
Pennsylvania coal miners have just
gone through and escaped from at
last, as result of the amazing nerve
and never-say-die spirit of their boy
leader, a young American, Elmer
Herring!
have just come from Herring's
cot in Panther Creek hospital where
he related to me for the first time the
marvellous tale of what happened to
The Wrangell sentinel., 1915-12-09
FOOLED THE STUDENTS.
A Clever Hoax That Was Porpetrated at Harvard University.

Richard Washburn Child. the nov. elist, when at Harvard university was the originator of joke which has be- come perpetuated In the university. The Bookman describes tine incident as follows:
 "While an undergraduate at Har- yard Mir. Child happened to be. among other things. one of the board of edi. tors of the Lampoon. The Crimson. the Harvard undergraduate daily. had announced that it would print no edi ton on Memorial day. 1901. At MT. Child's suggestion the Lampoon issued fake number of the Crimson. deli. cately enough caricatured to deceive all but the most observant readers.
 "The appearance of the college paper was accurately reproduced. even to certain typographical errors for whics the Crimson had been notorious, but the contents were such that the who.S Cambridge community was for time inyturmoil Information tll1t tho .,in sitor of one of the college iibcra'nlicS had upset jar of microbes and that all those who had been near t!.e iabo ratory should report at once to the co.- iege doctor: thnt So-and-so of the rrev squad had rowed himself out of his shell. but had reached shore withcu: Ill effects. and that the president anf fellows of Harvard college had d. cided not to offer President Aitisinie sn honorary degree was given with tf
 All precious stones. according to gem expert. are the better for frequent sun baths. f' "'
The Wrangell sentinel., 1915-12-09
Boost, Don't Knock

If you like the old town best, Help her grow! If you'd have her lead the rest, Tell 'em sol When there's nythng to do Let the fellows you You'll feel bully when you're through, Don't you know If you want to make hit Get name! If the other fellows it. Who's to blame? Spend your the Where you Dull the heckes down Give the mail concern frown--Thats the g me! If you're used to giving knocks, Change your style Throw boquets instead of rocks For whie Let the other fellows roast Shun him you ghost; Meet his hammer with boast And smile When stranger afar Come along Tell him who and what are-Make it strong Needn't fatter bluff; Tethe truth for that's enough Join the boosters-theyr Ire the bluff.
 Scranton Board of Trade