El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-05-01
Mr.. Dooley' CD Our Defence
Republished by Permission of Hearst's Magazine

bandbox, an no telephone on tn prem
ises. II amy nation did presoom on
our binivolence an assault US, what
wud ! do2 I wud call on tn armed
citizenry iv our beloved country to
raise up an crush him
AT tn first call to arms hundreds
iv thousands iv our bould yeomanry "
New York. Boston, an Chicago wud
dash firm tn marts iv thrade 10 thelr
homes in their shirt sleeves. take
down tn oil fOwlin' piece 1r'm tn
fireplace where il has hung liver since
grandfather come firm Poland, fiji tn
paWdher horn. put a few slugs " lead
an some Waddin' into their pockets
an fall upon tn foe with indescrio-
able slaughter Think iv tn way
Jackson's men bate tn British at New
Orleans. whin we were young an
extremely scarce people. an tnln
think what we cud DO with ninety
millyon iv tn same kind " men,
hardy fellows thrained in -atchool
warfare in tn wilderness, men who
take their lives in their hands ivry
time they thry to cash a check 1 can
see thin now marchin' down Broad
way in their cOOnskin caps. or seJtln
on tn shore at Sandy Hook pickin' off
tn gunners on tn hostile battleships
six miles away. which / believe
though divvle the thing DO I know
about it. was tn range ~ tn argue
busses iv thin pioneers firm whom
We are DESCENDED so much
So there We ARE That cheers me
up. I feel betther about tn prospects.
Who ar-re tn ARMED citizenryZ says
We. They ARE ye, Hinnissy- They
ar-re me. IN me minds eye 7 can see
thin swarmin' foorth fr their coun-
thry. Wen say. mind We, that a Jap
'nese fleet is hovrin' round tn Passy-
flick coast Our own fleet is steamin'
through that magnificent WATERWAY,
tn Pannyma canal, led be a steam
dhredge scoOpin' out a path f'r it.
"a hundred thousand crooI Jap
'nese has landed. ARMED with ninety
ctnty-mether guns. This Is Hogan s
idee. All right says III prisidint
now see what happens There is a
call TO arms firm Wash'nton- Up,
boys. an at Thin says Dock Wilson,
waving his eyeglasses in tn di-rec-
ton iv tn inimy. IN a minyit tn
country is at arms In less time thin
two or three months. our regular army
is assimbled in sthrOng bodies iv two
or three firm Very Cruz, tn Philip
poems, Maine. Alasky. an so foOrth.
In tn manetime officers has hur-
ried out an ARE gathrin tn regular
ARMY reSarve to tn colors. This
magnificent corps is composed iv OF
sOjers who have liked tn ARMY so
much that they've promised to go
back If they're wanted While not
ers wud be, il is a fine body Nv men,
sixteen in all Manetime facthries
ARE bein' built fr maxim rifles an
ca tridges, governmint agents are
searchin' Europe fr maJeeryal fr
manyfachthrin' powder. arrangements
ARE well undher way fr a supply
OF large guns firm Kruppses con-
thracts fr maxim pants fr tn army
has been placed in tn hands iv de-
sarvin' dimmycrats. who ar-re thryin'
to sublet thin to desarvin' republic
cans, an there is some talk " an ex-
thry session " congress to buy new
flints fr matchlocks iv tn Naytiona
Guard. All is hustle an cOufusyon-
"Th' reserves ARE not all called
out at wanst First, there's tn Land
sturm. All Higgins be name Thin
there's tn Landwehr. tn O'Brien
brothers iv Terry Hut Thin there's
tn Erlat5 corps, a fine body iv four
ex-sojers retired on account IL rheu-
matism. TIL remainder iv III reserves
is left at home to prO-tict tn fireside.
AT last tn great day arrives.
Tn forces iv our country ARE
hurled again tn foe. First, comes tn
regular army, each with a pOcketful
iv cartridges Thin tn reserves Thin
a mortar firm tn War Museum. Thin
our machine gun. Thin tn Archery
assocyatiOn " America Thin tn