davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
WHITFIELD TO A POINT.

A lazy man makes much ado about
nothing.
Men, like pins, are no good II they lose
their heads.
Any man who knows II all must be an
awful bore to himself
Opportunity never troubles a man IL
there is nothing in him.
1t is asserted that the electric chair is
sure antidote for old age.
During courtship an ounce Of flattery is
equal to a pound Of caramels.
Yet blockheads are not the kind that
produce the burning thoughts.
II mans credit isn't good he can
easily cut down his expenses.
At the age of thirty man begins to
unlearn what he doesn't know.
Those who suffer in silence usually
have lot to say about 1t later.
What would be the result IL we all fol-
lowed the advice we give to others:
Women do not like new wrinkles any
more than they do old ones.
The early bird that monkeys with tho
early bee is apt to get stung.
The man who says he is glad he is mar
ried is either an optimist or a liar.
But IT is better to quarrel over trifIes
than over something of real importance.
Poverty Is said to be q sure cure for
dyspepsia, but the cure may be worse
than the disease.-Chicago NswA
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
People and Events

Smoky city's millionaires are getting
wary. Pittsburgh sends out a story that
one OF its wealthy elders rebuked a beau
tiful woman for trying to flirt with him.
Miss Frances whitney. aged 81. Of St.
Louis, keeps twenty cats in her home.
Friends think she IL off in the upper
story and seek to have her purr mental
condition inquired into.
The Matteawan cocktail Is the very lat
est New York stimulant. The nature Of
the prescription lie not stated on the label,
but three doses are sufficient to carry
the bearer to his destination.
War promises to bring some grist to
the lazy mans mill. Out of the periscope
OF the trenches and the submarines a
New Yorker has produced a pocket device
which enables the rubberneck to view the
scenery on all sides without the exertion
OF turning around.
Word is passed down the line 10 the
alumni Of the Kansas university. with the
emphasis OF finality. that the state is not
going to foot the bills for the gay and
toothsome dinners OF the alumni. With
the word goes rejected bills for 3e7 co.
The heartlessness Of statehouse job
holuers once more ploWs irritating FUR
rows on polished highbrows.
The census Of the Empire state is ex-
pected to show a population OF about
ten and a quarter millions OF people. or
one-tenth Of the country's total. Where
fore the New York World fires this
salute: zone section OF the effete east
is multiplying in men'snd resources at a
rate that would make newer communities
explode with dissatisfaction"
Two Germans who were partners In the
restaurant business in Chicago fell out
and separated in anger. The retiring
partner started three new feeding shops,
one of them next door to the original
restaurant. The owner of the old shop got
sore all over, but he didn't scream
He took the public into his confidence by
means Of placards on his windows, the
principal one being q cartoon entitled:
"A German submarine at work In Amer
ica,' with these explanatory remarks:
THE American moral code OF business
principles precludes a former partner
from opening up opposition within a rea-
sonable radius. Here this unnRturalized
German renegade has violated all moral
codes, and 1t Is UP to the public to
relegate him into q concentration camp"
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
ERRORS OF HISTORY.

William Tell was a myth.
Coriolanus never allowed his mother to
intercede for Rome.
Blondel the harper. did not discover
the prison in which Richard was con-
fined.
The duke Of wellington never uttered
the famous words, up. guards, and at
them!"
Alfred never allowed the cakes to burn,
or ventured into the Danish camp dis
guised as minstrel.
Fair Rosamond was not poisoned by
Queen Eleanor, but died in the odor of
sanctity in the convent OF Godstow.
Charles Kingsley gave up his chair Of
modern history at oxford because he
said he considered history largely lie."
Charles TX did not fire upon the Hugue-
nots with an arquebus from the window
of the Louvre during the massacre of st.
Bartholomew.
Chemists have proven that vinegar will
not dissolve pearls nor oleave rocks, IN
spite OF the tabled exploits OF Cleopatra
and Hannibal.
The siege OF Troy Is largely a myth.
even according to Homers own account.
Helen must have been 90 years old when
Paris fell in love with her
The number of xerxes' army has been
grossly exaggerated, ana It was not
stopped at Thermopyiae by 900 spartans,
but by 1000. or even, as some authors
compute, 1000.
The Able Edgeworth frankly acknowI-
edged to Lord Holland that he had never
made the famous invocation 20 Louis
XVI on the soaffold: 'Son Of ST. Louis.
ascend TO heaven. New York World.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
Nebraska AGAIN to the FOra.

You can't keep Nebraska down. In arts Of
war or peace. In politics. agriculture. eommerce
or industry, In any OF the things that go to make
up what is good in our complex civilization,
Nebraska will be found at the front The latest
triumph is Just announced from the Navy de-
psrtment 10 the effect that for the next year the
battleship Nebraska. built on the western coast.
win carry on its forward funnel big letter
&c" to denote It's supremacy In battleship ensi-
neering efficiency. Seventeen battleships wore
In the test. which extended over a year, and the
Nebraska is 20 far ahead OF the others as to b
oct OF sight. Kansas Is far behind and the
rest are nowhere. This news will make glad
all hearts from the Missouri TO the Colorado
wyoming border. and every Nebraska heart will
beat little stronger because It is So II you
want to find Nebraska's position. look at the
head OF the procession.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
TABLOIDs OF SCIENCE.

A newly-invented electrical device meas
ures off the ten-milllonth part OF q second
with accuracy.
Nitrate of sodium crystals as clear as
the best glass have been made by
Partisan scientist
Among the dog-day convenlences is
tumbler with twin compartments, one for
ice and the other for liquid refreshments.
To prevent kettle from rusting always
keep an oyster shell in it. The oyster
shell should be taken out occasionally and
brushed.
Inspection OF the old walls OF the pal
ace Of the Louvre disclosed that rein
forced concrete was known and used in
Paris in the sixteenth century
It has been estimated that nearly Soo.-
900, 600 feet, or more than 5000 miles, of
film are used up yearly to satisfy the
worlds demand for moving pictures.
To analyze the unburned gases given
off by industrial plants a French scien-
fist has invented electrical apparatus
which makes the tests and records the
results automatically.
Aluminium shapes to fit all parts Of the
human body. pierced with channels for
hot or cold water circulation, have been
invented by a Viennese surgeon for use
as surgical congresses.
The icing OF refrigerating cars will be
dispensed with by the invention Of a new
system by which the warm air is pumped
out OF the cars and replaced with cold
The scheme has just been patented.
The United States geological survey is
studying the lavas of Hawaiian VOLCANOES.
The work is particularly pertinent be-
cause all the islands of that group have
been built UP gradually by volcanis dis
charges of lava, from beginning deep
down in the sea-
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Reference having been made TO q beautiful r.Sisna-
tion. Congressman Joseph ]. Russell recalled an APP
propriate story.
During dinner party soma tine ago the congress-
man said the tu0io turned to the connubisl state
Among the guests was q bachelor person
speaking OF marTtags," eventually remarlsd the
eAoheior. 1T seems that the longer a man q MAJ
Red" -
The happier he e." inpulsivsly broke m q spens.,-
party with hopeful glance at the other
Il waA going 20 say" resumed the bachelor "A.
IeEarainsly, That the longer man is married the
less ne seems to mind t"-Philsdelphia Telegraph
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
PEACE!

Henry w. Long6eliow.
Were half the power that fills the world
with terror,
Were half the wealth bestowed on
camps and courts,
Given 20 redeem the human mind from
There were no need Of arsenals and
forts.
The warriors name would be q name
abhorredi
And every nation that should int again
Its hand against brothsr. on its fore
wolnd wear for evermore the curse of
Cain.
Down the dark future. through long gem
The echoing sounds grow FAINTER and
then cease;
And like a bell, with solemn sweet vbra-
I hear once more the voice Of Christ
say, 'Peacor
Peaeel and no longer from tn brazen
portals
The blast OF wars great organ shakes
the skieai
But beautiful as songs Of the immortals
The holy melodies OF love ariBe.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
Twice Told Tales


You say that you want name engraved on
this rngr said the jeweler to the b.shfu young man
'Yesi want the words George to his dearest Alice
engraved the inside OF the ring
rs the young lady your sister7'
NO; she Is the young lady to whom I am en-
gagged"
We'll IL were you would not have Qeorxe to
his dearest Alice engraved on the ring II Anc.
changes her mind you can't use the ring again"
what would you suGsest?'
u would suggest the words. George to his FIRST
ana only love- You with that inscription You can
use the ring half dozen tirnes 4 have had axperI
enco in such matters myself"-New York Journal
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

One element OF every city's credit on the
bond market consists Of the amount OF securi-
ties outstanding. When city like Omaha buys
It's own bonds with sinking fund money the
bonds should be cancelled and to that extent let
the reduction of the debt strengthen the mu-
nicipal credit
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
DOMESTIC PLEAsANTRIEs.

States Is to turn out a slibna rIna which
can travel $500 miles and cross the ocean
on one supply of fuel. II is the Ga"
ia call a submarine like that the Gee
whizl'--Baltlnlore American.
Can you keep a secret7'
Yes"
But will your
"oh, thate different. don't know
Detroit Free Press.
Il always encourage my husband TO e1-
plain public questions to me-" said the
CHEEKY woman.
You have great respect for his opin-
ions7"
Il don't Try to understand them. Tho
less understand them the more fun he
has explaining them to new ashington
Star
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Bing-Borely IL going to take UP rail-
roading.
Bang--So many nice girls have told him
to make tracks that I don't wonder at II.
Town Topics
Helter-Do you think severe religious
training really prevents a person from
wrong-doing2
SkeIter-Well, It doesn't exactly prevent
II, but il certainly detractg from the
pleasure one gets from ginning.-Life.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Autoists are again admonished that the law
requires them to come to a full stop whore street
cars are loading and unloading passengers, and
not to start again until the car starts Safety
first
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

The DEVELOPMENT OF American submarines
with cruising radius OF 5000 miles dispoaes
of the fears OF invasion being In one direction.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

That was hair-trigger action on filling those
city hail vacancies following the transfer Of the
big boss from the city hail to the federal build
ing. Looks as II someone had an inside tip
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

John Wanamaker's suggestion OF buying
back Belgium Will strike real estate men as
risky speculation. A title based on squatter
sovereignty is not an attractive investment
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

The saengerfest is voted a pronounced sue
cess without dissenting voice. zum wieder-
kommeni
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Yes but isn't there any more pie in the cup
board for the other Nebraska democrats Just as
deserving, II not more long-waiting7
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Chicago is being exploited as a summer re-
sort city. But SO far 1t has had no advantages
to offer superior to Omaha
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

In his diplomatic correspondence, woodrow
Wilson may not use many long words as did
Grover Cleveland. but he manages to make his
meaning Just as unmistakable.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Like all compromises after the fact, II salts
fies nobody. though everybody pretends to be
tlcked to death.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Despite the prayers Of the devout In Russia.
the allied Teutons are making the fur fly on
both sides and the middle
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25
Thought for the Day
The mind Is Its oen palace, and IN itself
Can make a heaven Of he'll, aheIl OF heaven.
Million.

It's been late season for all the crops. but
more particularly for the political plum crop.
Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-25

Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should have The Bee mailed 60 them. Ad.
dress will be changed as often requested.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17

ACME teachers agency; best service;
 most liberal terms 12S3 Healey Bldg Atlanta, Ga. 4-S-42t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
123,0OO MEN IN THE FORTS AT PRzEMYSL
Booty in Fortress Concealed or Buried Is Just Coming
 to Light

Petrograd. May 2.-(Cerresponden
 of the Associated Press. .)-The removal
 of prisoners from Przemysl has now
 been completed, and the official Russian
 statement of the numbers is as follows:
 Nine generals, 2307 officers, 113,s90 men,
 $500 sick and wounded
 The number of sick and wounded in-
 cludes only those who were regarded as
 unfit to be removed. They are distrib- uted among the various hospitals of
 Przemysl in charge of Russian physf- clans, aided by 129 Austrian doctors and 1 % hospital orderlies who were cap tured when the fortress fell.
 The captured stores and munitions have not yet been completely tnven- toried. Much of the booty in the fort ress was concealed or buried and Is only gradually coming to light. The quantity, however, is said to be enor- nous. Over 900 guns many of them still in good condition. have been inven- toried Thousands of Austrian bayonets which are highly prized by the Russian soldiers as knives, have been distrib- uted among the victorious troops. The River San is being dredged for quantities of arms and ammunition which were thrown into it before the 1 city capitulated. Hundreds of soldiers spend their idle hours fishing for this booty with hook and line or with a small grappling hook dragged through the water from a row boat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
Why Called "Commonwealfhs?"

q am told there are but four real among all the states if our union. Will you tell me what these are? Also what is the meaning of commonw edith, and why are these four thus named? I had a notion that all of the old 13 states were common wealths
 JAMES R. S."
 In these United States, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Virginia and Kentucky are officially styled "commonwealths.' Yet commonwealth is defined as government chosen directly by the people; a republican or democratic state" An eminent writer upon political economy says: The essence of com monwealth is self-rule If 1t takes on itself the rule of others, it becomes a corporate king" The word had it's origin in an early English phrase, "the common veal" Why, in view of this definition, but four of our states should receive the honorary degree of "com- monwealth" I cannot determine. Sun dry learned authorities to which I have appealed differ in their replies. We have wise politicians and pundits not a few among our members. Will they answer correspondents and make recompense to readers for editorial ignorance? Why are Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Vir- ginia and Kentucky officially styled "commonwealths?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
IMPROVEMENT SEEN
 IN THE STEEL TRADE
Current Domestic Orders Larger and Export
 Trade Is Heavy
By" "HOp'

New York, May 16.-Improvement was evident in the steel trade last week. Spec ifications against contracts were larger permitting an increase of per cent in mill operations current domestic orders were larger and export trade continued heavy. The Steel corporation indicated about 75 per cent of the ingot capacity against average operations of 69 per cent in April.
 Railroad equipment purchases, while larger were still of minor importance with the much talked of Pennsylvania orders still nebulous. Rail contracts in- cluded 1900 tons for the Baltimore and Ohio, 1200 tons for the Missouri Kansas and Texas and 15eo tons for the Norfolk and Western. The Boston and Albany or and Denver City contracted for 10 locomo- tives and 17O0 cars. The American Car and Foundry company and the Seattle Car company each will build 2000 cars for Rus sia; 4000 more will be built In Canads. and the Pullman company is credited with 5000 cars for Russia The Southern Pa cific ordered 65o0 tons tie plates and the Santa Fe 3400 tons steel plates and bars. The American, Baldwin and Rhode Island Locomotive works, the American Brake Shoe company, the Laconia Car company and some other shops placed orders for steel bars amounting to 75.000 tons. Ex- port orders for steel amounted to nearly 60000 tons.
 Domestic orders for wrought pipe for oil and gas lines aggregated nearly 40- 600 tons. Steel building and bridge orders n n n fnV inta .@f r1,rs. t.11 -I the largest order was 5000 tons for ex- tensions to the Eddystone plant of the Baldwin Locomotive company The Mis- rouri. Kansas and Texas placed a 250o- ton bridge order and the Burlington awarded a bridge contract calling for 1850 tons of steel. The Lehgh Valley took bids on 1500 tons more for train sheds at Buffalo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17

WE buy second hand clothes. shoes, for
 cash Phone 15S1. 2116 2d. 1-20-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
COTTON TRADE
 SHOWS LOSS Political Situation Governs Market Most of the
 Week

New Orleans, May 16.-The political last week and under the unfavorable developments that arose prices were driven 25 to 3s points under the close of the preceding week In the early part of the week the market at one time stood 24 to 27 points over last weeks final quotations. The close was at net loss of 4 to 8 points
 Much liquidation of long cotton was accomplished and bulls considered that the short interest was greatly in : creased by the growth of bearish sen timent. There was a decided disposi- ton on the part of nearly all brokers to even up their books as much as pos sible in order to be ready to face any grave complications which might arise from the present relations between this country and Germany. In this respect the market Is much better off than 1t was last summer when world politics suddenly turned actively unfavorable.
 Very little attention was paid to crop or weather news. Probably never before in the history of the market has the new crop been so completely ig- nored during May. It Is quite generally regarded that during this week even the situation confronting the Italian government may have more important bearing on the course of prices than will crop reports.
 This week the trade will be bound up in speculation concerning the prob able import of the reply to the United States note to Germany. Until the reply is received the market is expected tt be waiting affair and probably sub ject to narrow and nervous fiuctua' tiOnS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
In Hymnal Forty Years Ago

Can you, through your Corner, find for me the old song, She Sleeps in the Valley? It was in a Sunday school hymnal about 40 years ago. I am not sure, but think the book was called The Singing Pilgrim It would give my aged mother more joy to find that song than almost anything I could do for her. She so often talks about the song and longs to hear it again. She will be so years old soon and loves music and old time songs. N. H. McD."
 Readers who. have their own tender memories of the-old songs, sweeter by far to ear and heart than modern oper- attic achievements, and who love their dainty old mothers, will ransack brains and music books for the ballad for which the octogenarian longs I hold the daughters address.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
Ink Exposed to Air

"An interested reader of the excellent pot pourri,' designated the Helping Hand Corner would be glad to hear from Cornerites of some method to pre- vent ink from thickening after the bot tie is opened It is dreadfully annoying for fresh ink of the best quality to thicken so soon after it is exposed to the air. What is the remedy?
 REGULAR READER"
 Ink of really good quality should not thicken by exposure to the air You may avoid the annoyance by adding to 1t really good cider vinegar, say a teaspoonful to the pint. Then keep the inkstand shut when 1t Is not in use. Evaporation may be the cause of the trouble.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
LEGAL NOTICES
Legal Notice

Notice is hereby given that certificate number five t5) for forty y-nine (49) shares, and certificate number seven t) for one CD share of the capital stock of Ensley- Pratt-Highland company, pledged to se- cure debt of which the undersigned is the assignee will be offered for sale and sold to the highest bidder for cash at the courthouse door of Jefferson county, Ala bama, during the legal hours of sale on Wednesday, the 18th day of May, 1915, default having been made in the payment of the debt for the security of which said stock was pledged J. B. ADAMS,
 5-l4-5t Assignee.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
Two Kinds of Mushrooms

When I was a girl we were afraid to eat mushrooms for fear of getting hold of poisonous ones. Now, we sec them freely offered for sale in market on all sides. What has made them less dangerous than they used to be? And we never read now of persons being killed by eating them.
 MRS. A. R. H." The poisonous fungi which was dan gerous years ago is as deadly now, but few persons eat wild mushrooms and so they run no risk of mistaking the edi- ble mushrooms for the counterfeit. The mushrooms offered in our markets are carefully cultivated from spawn known to be safe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
Canape an Appetizer

What Is a 'canape' when one sees it upon restaurant menu? My French dictionary gives as the meaning of the word sofa That doesn't help me at all. We don't upholster victuals.
 BUSINESS MANI
 canape, when classed as an edible, Is an appetizer, or an entree Gas you may choose to order it) of toast, with a layer of grated and heated cheese, or of potted meat or caviar spread upon 1t. Sometimes it Is made of puff paste, and an active imagination may discern in the oblong dressed with cheese or caviar a resemblance to a sofa. But the pastry must be puffy and the imagina Ition lively.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
MnonhddndsHoIpInQf5
 E,s Marsnn Hznand -
By Marion HaHaHd

looking for all such things as that. I should be awfully glad if I could find out. MARY F."
 I could wish you had been more deff- mite in framing your queries. Readers may be able to inform you as to the United State Directory" am at loss to decide what book you mean. And what is electric napery? Having had many experiences-some rather humi1- iating the major part gratifying and edifying-of the efficiency of constitu- ents in helping me out of fogs and morasses. I pass your letter along the line. You are so evidently honest and earnest In your quest for information that I cannot withhold the communica- tion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17

WANT to buy second hand pony cart and
 harness; must be in good condition.
 Phone 1132 Main. 5-15-3t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17
Putting It Up to Dad

From the Louisville Herald
 The Yale freshman year was proving very expensive to father so father decided to have a "heart-tQ-heart" talk with Johnny. home for the week.
 Now. son., said he gravely, but affec- tionately. your mother and l are spend- ing just as little as we possibly can. get up in the morning at 6:30 and l work until after B. But. son. the money just won't go round at the rate that your ex- penses are running Sow, ask you. as one man to another, what do you think We had better do."
 For a moment Johnnys head was buried in thought-and then he replied
 Well. father, don't see any way out but for you to work nights-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-05-17

RATES-One cent word a day; no nd.
 taken for Iess than 25c for first inser-
 ton. Cash must accompany order.