Omaha daily bee., 1915-09-20

I htAAN-llNAhtN NAankNANs hAAAAkNNef hANAANF
breakfast" lie was Mortified. but every
time he tried to say anything she would
bring out bunch OF lurid oaths until
/ finally he said; wife. if youu cut out
that cussing I'll never swear again"
out In Iowa there were some men
standing along a fence when a bunch OF
kids came along. one man stuck out his
/ foot and tripped one Tor fun and the
youngster got up. about years OF agc,
and started such string OF profanity
that Il would seem the demons In hell
would close their ears and cry enough.
The man staggered back. It was his
own son. He turned TO the crowd.
| Boys" he said. Il never know what an
influence I have been until Just now. IL
any OF you every hear me cuss again step
up and knock me down and when l come
to I'll thank you for Il. l never knew
what 1 was doing to my children
You say, "Bm. l can't quit cusslng 3"
You lie. II l was mayor of this city and
had authority to put men on the corners
with double barrcled shotguns to shoot
every one who cussed, you'd see how
much cussing there would be. l suppose
II the law against stealing was repealed
and placed against cussing all OF you
would start to steal.
Just think. when at last they put the
clods in on your coffin and your wife and
children 20 home. and try to earn a liv-
ing without you and look at your picture
and all they will remember Is your curses
and blows. What an awful heritage TO
leave behind, and yet that's what many a
man does.
Take young buck that cusses and he
will crush your daughters honor like he
would an egg shell, If you never become
Christian, men, for Gods sake stop
your cussing.
You can't go anywhere any more, In n
| car, a depot. a restaurant, but what you
find some friend with his foul-mouthed
oaths ready to spew them out. What an
awful place hell will be when Il gets all
of that bunch down there.
Like Father, Like Son.
/ Here's a fellow who says. ''Bil, I don't
cuss very much, only when 1 get mad "
He says, Il don't drink very much. Just
a little, and always put sugar and water
in my toddy at that"
one father says to his son: You've
been chewing my tobacco" The boy de-
MED 1t. Pretty soon he found some OF
his whisky gone. The boy denied that.
Then he missed some money, and the boy
denied that. Finally the father sad that
his son was no good. but he would take
him to town and get him job. lie goes
to grocery store and tells the owner he
has just the boy he is looking for.
Sure, he smokes and chews and steals
n little" he says, but that will help the
man out, as he is that kind of a business
man. The grocer throws him out. The
father thinks it is mighty queer that a
fellow like that doesn't want boy lust
like him, so he takes him across the
street to get him started In the lawyer
business, but he tells the lawyer the
same thlng ana says he has the making
of mighty good lawyer in him.
! But the lawyer throws them out OF his
office and asks him IL he doesn't know
that as a nation we are run by lawyers
and gives long list of statistics To
prove It, and tells him that nobody wants
a crook. Take the kid and get out. "
He can't get in lodge, and finds that
u per cent of the members of the Ma
sonic lodge are professed Christians, ant
they'll blackball a mutt like that "a Del
cent of the Odd Fellows are professine
Christians; 81 per cent of the knights
of Pythias, and 4S per cent of the Wood
men are protesting Christians. Fifty
two signers Of the Declaration OF Inde-
pendence were Masons: the Boston tea
party was an adjourned meeting Of tho
Masonic lodge
Mercy Seat Waits.
Here's fellow who stands alone. No
BODY wants him. But God has prepared
one place for all, the Mercy Seat Man
has invented the penitentiary. the jails,
the scaffolds; but God has one rlace for
all who want to be square, and when he
gets down on his knees before the Mercy
seat and says he wants to live right. he
can get In the lodges. he can get in the
banks ana then the saloon doesn't want
! him.
o, yes! The boys are going fast thes,
DAYS suspect you can remember whei
stage coach went across Pennsylvania
at three miles an hour; then they wen
In relays and went four and one-haIf
then the first train went fifteen mile,
an hour, and now today look at Tn,
Pennsy Eighteen hours from Chicago L
New York, and they go eighty miles al
hour friend of mine was on a traII
hob iohs ago Wnen ne noticed IL slOWint
down. He asked the conductor what wa
the matter. "Oh, / have orders to SLOW
to seventy-five miles an hour here"
When l was playing ball I got my les
hurt and / was going home on No. 3
looked out the window and thought W,
were going about fifty miles an hour
| asked the "con" when he came through
and he said we were going about fift,
miles an hour then, but we would &,
seventy-five as soon as he rounded tn,
curve below.
o, we're going fast these days. Ever,
Few years there Is a test made on I
couple Of roads out west to see which
shall carry the mail. They make tn,
tests in February when the going is tn,
| hardest
"GOinE Fast for God"
A train on the c. b. & Q. was fort,
minutes late and a friend OF mine wal
asked to take II out The superintend
ent came out and told the engineer tina
he could throw the schedule in the fire
box as he had clear track. was OF
train coming east and we were side
tracked for the fast mail. saw hin
coming. l yelled "whopee," and he wa