The Northwest worker. [volume] (Everett, Wash.) 1915-1917, 1915-07-01
YE PARTY CoLYUM
WE DECIDE TO BECOME
FAMOUS

hy
not become famous? The opportunity
is at hand. Com. Sudden, with the
aid of Local Tacoma Four, launched a
motion calling upon the national ex.
committee to draw up text book for
use in his little Sunday school. We
doubt the ability of the N. E. G. to
deliver the goods. Moreover we are
itching to detract a little glory from
Local Puyallup, who are also an au-
thor. We will, therefore, publish ev-
cry now and then a brief lecture on
Socialism for the calculation of the
unelucidated. We are doing this work
free Of charge for the Wash. Soc, but
hope later to be able to charge admis-
sion and become. wealthy.
! A Thick Skin Essential.
No doubt there are in the sequester-
ed hooks and crannies of our fair
state hundreds of aspiring young stu
dents who will make our history in
the future; some will become candi-
dates for cong. from the Sd district
when Les Aller has sought his we'll
earned rest, and others will edit the
Milwaukee Leader. To these and to
Jimmy SUITS Sunday school kids we
would say that the most essential re-
Quisite of first class Socialist is a
thick skin in the region of the ears
so as not to be disturbed by the gentle
criticisms of the CONS. To under
stand Socialism it is of prime import
ance that one thoroughly digest the
meaning of EVOLUTION. One can
not hope to be good Socialist unless
that term is handy in ones vocabul-
airy.
There was form of Socialism
stalking abroad in the land before evo.
luton was invented. In those days we
conceived of Socialism as being com.
prised chiefly of imposing municipal.
ly-owned stores, as spick and span as
Standard Oil lunch room. We were
waited on by dapper little clerks at.
tired in white with the Socialist emb.
lem emblazoned on their left sleeves
who graciously doled out our food.
stuffs in Acknowledgements germ
proof packages and never fibbed about
price or quality. The delivery system
was mapped out with the care and
precision of U. S. mail route and
nowhere criss-crossed. At eve. after
we had performed two hours of siren
uous labor we hied ourselves gently
homeward in our Fords over well
paved roads. Along the highways con.
tented cows grazed on well kept lawns
The lull of the stately elms, whose
frightening shadows fell silently over
the countryside, soothed us with
peace and quietness. Struggle was nc
more.
This brand of Socialism has gone
to seed. Like com. Charlie Wallace's
state chairman, it has been pooh.
poohed into oblivion by science. We
have covered up the flaws in our
scheme with high sounding terms und.
er the guise of evolution.
Evolution Is Invented.
Evolution was invented about the
middle of the 18th cent. by set OF
high brows who felt themselves toe
good to work and who had an un
quenchable desire to get their names
into the papers. 1t was brought out
at a time when society was having
troubles of its own and could pay nc
attention to these eminent ones. This
is why they were not drawn, quarter
ed, and boiled in oil The result is
that humanity must continue to be
tormented in vain attempts to solve
their inexplicable riddles.
The theory of evolution has it that