davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Case of EornetfuIness.

Mrs. Sherburne Hopkins, who re-
Gently left society for the stage, smiled
the other evening when the converse
ton at a social affair turned to forget
fulness. She said she was reminded
of an incident along that line. Some
days ago Brown was rambling along
the boulevard when he met Green.
Cordial handshake, a donation Of
cigars, and then some talk. by the
way, old man." wonderingly queried
Brown, glancing at the others hand,
what have you got a string tied
around that finger for?" My wife
put it there replied Green. TT was
to remind me to mail letter for her"
Il see," laughingly returned Brown.
Did you mail it, NO" was the
smiling response of Green, 'she for
got to give it to me."-Philadelphi
Telegraph.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

and I jist come over to tell you, sir,
that I'll be ready to pay part of that
claim Of your'n before long" you
must be doing well" 81 think I'm doin'
fust-rate, and I'm powerful obliged to
you. sir. for headin' me this way" 81
am always glad to help if | can" Z
knowed that, sir. and that's why
come away over here so far from
home It's kinder strange to me. but
as long as am dom as well as am
am goin' to stand it" Are you max
ing any money!" The old mans face
frightened perceptibly. NO. | ain I,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

and fe!dspar, quartz, feldspar and mica
and it may vary in texture from the
fine to the coarse. Some sandstone is
so coarse that it will hold six quarts
Of water to the cubic foot, and under
ground deposits of such sandstone
form excellent reservoirs which may
yield a never-faiIing supply OF water.
An arkose sandstone from the quick
silver region Of California, made up
Of granite detritus, was found to con-
tain quartz, orthoclase, oligoclase, BIZ
otite, muscoTite, hornblende, titanite,
rutiIe, tourmaline and apatite. In
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Qd17HEKER2H5lSEE<G e.
81 ~ ASNA1Lk2 " "
FIRST AID.

The patient writhed in the chair.
Anger made his face crimson, but the
rubber dam in his mouth prevented
speech.
The dentist stepped quickly into his
laboratory and came back with a
placard which he hung up on the wall
high enough to be seen by the patient
in his semirecumbent position On
the card were printed in bold type half
a dozen lines of profanity that fairly
siZzled.
rs that how you feel?" asked the
dentist, alphabetically.
The patient nodded his head.
We'll, keep your eyes on the card.
I'll soon be through"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
CHAPTER vii.

After Jonas Hassingbury had left,
Flodie went to the telephone and
called up a number.
Mrs. Royalton- Yes, this is
Miss Fisher-at Mr.. BonistelIe's, you
know about your pictures
Could you drop in this afternoon and
see some proofs? oh, yes,
lovely, I think About three
o'clock, If you will Good-by!"
Next she called up Miss Dallys, and
said nearly the same thing; both Ia
dies agreed to call. But how about
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Here's a Sentence

There was the SAVIOR, the desidera-
tum, the force and quantity that we
have been talking ola SAVIOR i'm
mense and extraordinary, in relation
to which the muddlement that have
called subjective came directly from
the fact that it is not, like the savors
to which I just paid tribute. ''dished,"
served, administered after the fashion
of precious things in general, isn't per-
haps in any degree the result Of what
passes in other societies for prepare
ton, it grows wild, and I had doubt
less partaken of it crude-with the
marvellous effect of it's not disagree
ing with me.-The Sun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
SYNOPSIS.

Hall BonisteIle. photographer, pre-
Cares for the days work in his studio.
FIodie Fisher, his assistant, reminds him
Of a party he IS to give in the studio that
night and that his business is in bad
financial shape. Mr.. DOremus, attorney
and justice Of the peace, calls and informs
Hall that his Uncle Johns Will has left
him $4,000 on condition that he marry
before his twenty-eighth birthday, which
begins at midnight that night Mrs. Rena
ROyalt0n calls at the studio. Hall asks
her 70 marry him. She agrees to give
him an answer at the party that night
Miss Carolyn Dallys calls. Hall proposes
90 her. She agrees to give him an an
sWer at the party. ROsamund Gale, art
model. calls Hall tries to rush her into
an immediate marriage. She, too, defers
her answer until the evening. FlOdie tries
70 show Hall a certain way out Of the
nixups but he is Obtuse. Jonas Hassing-
bury, heiF to the millions in case Hall
falls TO marry on time, calls.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
How the sandstones Differ.

The products of rock decomposition
may be reconstructed either by great
pressure or by the injection Of &C.
menting materials, or by both. Thus
sands are formed into sandstones,
clays become shales. and calcareous
deposits yield limestone. Aside
from their cementing materials sand
stones differ in composition exact
ly as did the sands of which they are
composed. Sandstone, according to
the United States geological survey,
may be nearly pure quartz, or quartz
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Had Imnroved a Little.

He was a renter, and at least every
other season he was occupying diff
feTent farm. By friends advice he
had moved the year before into an en-
tirely new field, a dozen miles from his
usual haunts, and had not been seen
for several months. When the friend
did see him, at last, it was quite by
accident. business taking him into the
old mans neighborhood. The farmer
hailed him from the cornfeld and
came out to the fence. Hello said
the friend. ''is this your farm?" Yes,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

We shall experience all the zest and
hustle of marching feet The swift
running seasons, like couriers bound
for the front, shall still find US on
the road, and shower on US in pass
ing their blossoms and their SHOWS.
For a while the murmur OF the run
ming stream of Time shall be our
fellow wayfarer-till, at last, UP there
against the skyline, we too turn and
wave our hands, and know for our
selves where the road wends as it
goes to meet the stars. And others
will stand as we today and watch US
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

pair at home which will just about
fit you, and will have them sent to
you today. Thanked" said John.
The trousers were duly sent, and the
following three Sundays John was
seen at church. Then, after being
absent for some time, the clergyman
again met him. We'll, john" he
said. you have no excuse for not
coming to church lately. How is it
1 have not seen you there?" Look
here, parson!" said John. q like q
man to speak plain. I know what you
mean; you're a-thinking about them
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Modern Blcndin.

Passerby-What are you kids do
ing?
City Urchin-Chimmie's de prize
boy in de block at runnin' across de
street in front of de autos, and to-
day he's going to do it wild 20 pounds
of bricks and his kid brother on his
back.-Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Woe of the "a ntnrisH

The motorcar shot down the hill at
the speed of an express train. and then
overturned. pinning the driver beneath
it. The village policeman approached
pompously. It's no use you hiding
under there" he said sternIy to the
half-smothered driver. You were ex-
ceeding the speed limit. and I must
have your name and address,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

YEAST see to enable man to
walk on an inclined roof spiked
frames TO be strapped under the
shoes have been patented.
imsonbeak-TheyT come in
handy when man can't find the key
hole to enable him to climb in the
gcuttIe
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Cash Prize

Flatbush-He always was a lucky
guy.
Bensonhurst-What's happened?
He's got the cash prize in a lot
terry.
Really"
Yes, he's just married money.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
The Dnd and the Civ

THE dog cares not whether his mas
ter is rich Or poor, but is as faithful
to the stranger as to the owner of
mansion" Same way with the house
fly. Never deserts a house because
It is humble.-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Extensive Eeatherinn.

why do you keep such a heavy
guard around your ostrich farm? No
body would try to steal an ostrich"
No; but the boys around here are
fond of tar and feather parties. They
wouldn't hesitate to use ostrich plumes
when the excitement was on"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
MADE A MATTER OF BARTER
John Wanted Contract to Be Explicit
as to the Ownership of Those
Trousers.

A village clergyman in England,
Walking round his parish, met an old
parishioner. We'll, John" he said,
how is it have not seen you at
church for several sundays" 'Hain't
got no Sunday trousers" answered
John. Well said the clergyman,
4 think we can remedy that. have
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Sem ibIe Soothssyer,

You are going to have a great deal
of money some day" said the clair
voyant.
Am I going to marry it or earn
it," asked the pleased client.
You are going to marry it, but
You'll earn it. all right"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
He Agreed,

Don't you think women are natu-
rally more courageous than menu"
challenged the champion of her sex.
'Of course" said the horrid cynic,
mo man would dare to get off car
the way the average woman does"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Slack Business.

Patience-St. Louis, Mo, reports
fewer marriages than usual at this
season and blames business depres-
sion.
Patrice-Should think it would cause
business depression with the minis
teTs.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
JUST So.

= 81 see where an heiress eloped with
a poor young man because he didn't
tango"
What do you infer from that?"
A walliower occasionally gets an
inning"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Sizing Up Ba by,

Which side of the house do you
think the baby resembles most?"
proudly asked young Popjoy. Well
h'm!" answered Smith. Il can't see
that he looks so very much like the
side of a house '-Woman's Home
Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

Mamma-Now, Harold, at the party
if anyone asks you to have some
thing, you must say, eyes, thank you"
and if you don't want it you must
say
Harold-Don't bother mamma,
don't expect to refuse anything.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Sense of Humnr.

Has your wife a sense of humor?"
"She must have" replied Mr.. Big
gins. "She buys me the funniest
clothes and gives our son the funniest
hair cut to be seen in the neighbor-
hood"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
The Vanishing Road.

We are all treading the vanishing
road of song in the air, the vanish
ing road OF the spring flowers and the
winter SHOWS, the vanishing roads of
the winds and the streams, the van
this great company of vanishing
things we feel that there is
reassuring comradeship. We feel that
We are the units in a vast ever-mov-
ing army, the vanguard of which is in
eternity. The road still stretches
ahead of US. For a little while yet
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
a Poor BANKRUPT.

81 see that Jones has failed. Has he
any assets?"
Nothing OF any value. The in
ventory which he filed with his peti-
ton in bankruptcy shows that he had
230 wedding presents
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Below Standard

Btx-Shakespeare speaks of music
being the food of love.
Dix-Well, there's lot of it that
couldn't be guaranteed under the pure
food law-Boston Evening Tran
script.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
The Outdoor Life.

THE doctor says I don't take
enough interest in outdoor pastimes."
Are you going to profit by his sug-
gestion?"
Yes. I'm going to sit down and
read every word on the sporting
page"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
InexcIIsahIe Innnranca

How did Good Friday originate,
anyway" asked Tommy Jones.
HUH" rejoined Johnny Smith with
an air of disdain. Didn't you never
read Robinson Crusoe'"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Fine Graft.

Madge-I don't think there'd be any
fun in voting, anyhow.
Marjorie-Sure there would. If a
woman you didn't like were running.
you could get all the fudge and soda
you wanted out of her and then vote
against her.-Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Profit in Fruit.

did anybody out this way make
any money out of fruit last YEAR,"
Yep replied Farmer COrntosseL
THE man that runs the store. He
bought a lot Of it already canned an
sold it to US agriculturists"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

"See those fine folding beds, ma
DAM" said the gushing salesman.
They speak for themselves"
ooh, indeed" replied the woman;
81 thought they were made to shut
up"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
a Radical Position.

"Of course, you are in favor of
peace?"
$50 much so that I don't even want
to get into an argument about the best
way to secure it."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
lie Kind

'As they turned in the waltz Jim
and Kate fairly fattened poor Emily
against the wall and tore her new
party dress"
"Ah! that was what you might call
a crushing reverse"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

as we disappear, and wonder how it
seemed to US to turn that radiant cor
ner and vanish with the rest along
the vanishing road.-From Vanish
ing Roads," by Richard lie Gallienne
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Hinher Education,

We've formed a Faust club" gushed
Friend Wife.
'eWhy?" asked Enemy Husband, who
was eminently practical.
$50 we can learn to pronounce
Goethe"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
a Pretty Problem,

Think of a plant wizard actually
improving on the cactus!"
Remarkable. l shouldn't be at all
surprised If some scientific fellow
didn't eventually find a use for the
cocklebur."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

This notice Of old Millyun's death
says his widow survives him"
q suppose she realized that was the
only possible way she had Of becoming
his widow"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Nothing Ike the Old Fool.

Mrs. Crawford-I hope you son and
daughter haven't taken up the new
dancing.
Mrs. Crabshaw-They indulge very
little, my dear; but their father is at
it all the time.-Judge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
rue.

CA noted stage beauty who has tried
it says there is nothing to being an old
mans darling"
"Ah! But she oyerlooks the advertis-
ing"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
What She Meant

when I proposed to Blanche she
asked me if l was new recruit"
What did she mean?"
she wanted TO know if | had ever
participated in an engagement be-
fore"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
EATING Time.

''Win you buy me a string Of pearls,
George?" asked the sweet young thing.
No won't" replied George; but
If you come with me III get you few
strings Of spaghetti"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

short, all the rock-forming minerals
which can in any way survive the de-
struction or grinding up Of rock may
be found in sands and therefore in
sandstones.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

why does the senator keep talking
u that rambling way? 1 don't know
what he's aiming at, do your
Sure l do. He's f1libustering to
keep his daughter from singing. -
Puck.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Don't Let Them Get Away.

Patience-Don't you think there
should be some sort of tax for bache-
SoTs?
Patrtce-Tacks are not enough. I'm
IN favor of mailing" 'em.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Same Wnrk

Did you ever work on a farm,
Sam?"
"Oh, yes, boss"
What did you do, Sam?"
Il had t sit out under a tree, boss,
an wait for de dinner horn t blow"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Queer Resemblance.

"a philosopher and a sneak thief
are alike in one respect"
What might that be?"
"They both take an abstract view
of things"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
M can Suqqestion.

Don't interrupt my meditations. I
have just started on new train Of
thought"
With dummy engine, presume
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

trousers. l come to church three Sun
lays, an, if you don't think l earned
them trousers, just tell me how many
more Sundays l shall ha' to come
afore they're mine aItogtheri"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
Superficial Impression

The classic dance, with graces rare.
The dry goods trade may mar.
Apparently the less you wear.
The classic-er you are.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19
An Irate Husband.

He gave his wife an angry look,
Used language far from nice.
It seems the dame his razor took
To shave some ice.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

Mrs. Swell-Tell your captain I'd
like the pleasure of his company to a
dance next Thursday evening.
Corporal O'Brien-Oi will, ma'am,
but Dim afraid some of 'em can't
dance.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

sir he replied, hopefully, but I'm
losin' it sIower'n ever done in my life
before"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1915-08-19

There isn't much chance for an old
man"
That's so; it's getting so that
man can't get Job after he gets to be
seven or eight hundred years old
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1915-09-02
Queer Orchid Freaks.

An extraordinary collection OF
plants, many Of them hitherto un-
known, is to be exhibited in New
York city by Harry J.. Black, an Amer
lean, who has spent years On Bolivia,
Peru and Brazil. hunting orchids and
other strange fora. The collection OF
orchids which he is bringing with him
to the show Ii valued at $4,000.
Among his other flowers, speci-
men Is so sensitive that 1t closes It's
petals in fright at a sharp noise. 9th
ers wilt into Inconsistencies II anes.
thetics are applied to their leaves. A
species OF jatropha, from Colombia,
~secretes a poison, which 1t shoots
through two fangs like a ~serpent's
when touched. ard the sting is dead.
iy. Another stinging plant Ia covered
with coarse hairs. and when one Of
them Is snapped enough poison Is dis
charged to kill a man.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1915-09-02

|...H
about Leithcourt and his scoundrelly
associates. l know, too, dear-for
may call you that, may l not?-how
terribly you must have suffered in ST.
lence through it all. Leithcourt Is
dead. He sank the yacht with all the
stolen property on board, but by acct
dent was himself engulfed."
Bending and watching intently as
wrote, she drew back in horror and
surprise at the words. Then ] added:
"We are all four determined that the
guilty shall not go unpublished, and
that the affection placed upon you
shall be adequately avenged. You are
my own love-I am bold enough to
call you so. Some strong but mysterl-
GUS bond Of affinity between us
caused me to seek you out, and your
pictured face seemed to call me to
your side although l was unaware of
your peril. Twas sent to you by the I'M
seen power to extricate you from the
hands Of your enemies. Therefore
tell us everything-all that you know
without fear, for now that we are
united no harm can assail us"
She took the pencil, and holding il
in her white fingers sat staring first al
us, and then looking hesitatingly al
the white paper before her. Her posi-
ton, amid a hundred conflicting emo
tions, was one of extreme difficulty
II seemed as though even now she
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1915-09-02

No outfit is quite complete in these
days without a, sweater Of some sort.
And there is a wide and varied choice
in sweaters, for they ar claiming more
attention than aver before in their
history.
There are finely woven sweaters of
silk, in gay colors, which N ices at
the afternoon concert, at the country
club, on the beaches and the golf
links, and in any other outdoor meet
ings of fashionables. There are sweat
ers considerably like them, made of
artificial silk, usually in more vivid
colorings than the all-silk variety.
Then there are the practical wool
sweaters, similar to that shown in the
picture, and belonging to the same
class.
The new models are carefully de-
signed to the end that they may en-
body just the right style. In the x
ample pictured here, for instance, it
will be noticed that the sleeves are
well shaped and finished with a cuff