Pioneer press. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1882-19??, 1915-04-03
KILLING MAN CANNOT
BE WELL DESCRIBED
Phil RAIDER Says He Felt Like Dog
After He Made His First
KILLING

dueludlely ueScrlDS. mere are some
millions Of men in Europe who have
had this feeling during the past half
year, but l venture 20 say that not
one OF them could faithfully detail
his emotions upon first taking a hui
man life.
After you see your victim drop YOU
first feel sense Of triumph.
Then the ages Of training in the
Ten Commandment come to the front
and you feel like a murderer. Then
you want to run around among your
mates and tell them the circumstan,
Ces OF the killing ana get them 70 tell
you thai You did the right thing.
My experience was like that
was standing beside my Lieutenant
one day. He had fastened a small mir
rOr to {. tWig and was looking at
the German trenches, when suddenly
he exclaimed:
Get your gun" A bochs has come
out Of his trench. ran down the
trench, got my gun, and came back
to the loCphOle. | was so excited I
could hardly aim. Through the hole
| saw a German standing on the edge
Of his trench. He had been carryins
huge board and had rested il against
his back while he tried TO light nj !,
pipe.
&c: aim. Get him." said the lieu
tenant.
fired and missed The German
struck another match and merely
looked conteApU0ua.y a. the spot n
space where TIC buIat hdu NHis,leu
past hlm. lie was MY 10 feet away
from ne. bat through ;he loophole !
could only see par. Of his body and
| wanted to hit him low, if possible.
l aimed again. ne ,...-,.lu -,,uu...
and backed in 4 circle, like 4 l.r.iI.l.-
en- man. trying tG Keep his balance.
Then he threw up both hands and
fell forward on his face.
turned around to look at The lieu
tenant. lie had moved away. ] was
pronu. Then wave Of remorse came
over me; i. was The thou sha!t no
XIII th2t l. buried deep IL 2V,-Jy au!.t
mans mind and heart.
Il got a German" | shouted to a
soldier nearby. | told him how the
man had bees; standing there, holding
a board.
Did he have rihe?" asked tn,
soldier
why, no." / said
And you shot II unarmed MANI"
Il had direct ORDERS" | nswere.
| felt like dog. 1t seemed to ne
that l must find some human being
who would say that had done right
lOlu announcer SOlulGT ABOUT IT,
Served him right" said the so.
der. He'd have done the same thin
to you"
These were splendid words for me.
/ had slOuched along the trench be.
fore | met him. After that | held up
my head. But the two feelings, the
pride and the remOrse, fought in my
mind.
At last told it all to an old legion
soldier.
My boy" he said, its wer Could
you have refused to shoot under the
eye of the lieutenant? The war is
killing and that is all there is to it.
Suppose every soldier III the French
line were to obey his oNa instincts
about killing. None Of the enemy
would die. The French have brought
you here to kill. You are ordered to
kill and you must kill, whenever you
can"
Technically I had done wrong, be.
cause all war is terribly wrong.
| sat behind a machine gun, one
day soon after that, and killed eleven
Germans who had built a barrcade
in some nearby trees. They were
shooting at us and | felt much better
about killing them than | did about
the single German.
And then later, again on the bicycle
seat Of the machine gun, and, at the
rate Of 700 shots a minute, | fired at
advancing columns of Germans in
close formation and watched them
drop and squirm. They were coming
to kill us, if they could. 1t was only
fair to kill them, under the rules Of
the war game. A terrific sense of pow
er filed me; the rattle of that gun
was sweeter and grander to me than
the Hallelujah chorus. | knew what
it meant to be drunk with killing
Other machine guns we're going, too
but ! felt at the time as if mine we're
the only one. The Germans turn ed
and ran, their formation smashed
their dead and wounded strewing the
hillside.
But that night, after I had crawl.
ed into my mudhole hut to sleep, !
didn't dare to think Of all the women
and children whose hearts had been
hit by that machine gun fire.
] had Joined the French foreign