davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
WHERE THE INCHES COUNTED
British Statesman's Remarkably Neat
Retort to chalrman's Shaft
OF wit"

Lloyd. Georges wit on the platform
is we'll known, but here Is one Of the
neatest retorts he ever made.
lie was addressing a meeting In
South Wales, according to Pearson
Weekly, when the chairman. thinking
to be witty at the chancellor's expense,
remarked to the audience that he was
little disappointed in Lloyd-George s
appearance.
II had heard 80 much about Mr..
Lloyd. George" he said, that ] nat
uIally expected to meet a big man In
every sense; but, as you can see Tor
yourselves. he Is very small In stat
ure."
Many an orator would have been
grievously upset by such an unfortu
nate beginning to the proceedings. but
not so Lloyd.George.
Il am grieyed to find" he said, with
mock seriousness. that your chairman
is disappointed In my size, but this Is
owing to the way you have here OF
measuring man. In North Wales we
measure n man from his chin up, but
you evidently measure him from his
chin down"
After that the chairman made no
more personal remarks.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
Beating the Bakers.

"Oh. | am almost tired to death"
said the woman who spends half her
time addressing club meetings Our
political economy club has been in
session all day passing resolutions
and drawing up petitions demanding
a law regulating the price of bread.
Only think! Three dollars worth of
-four costs, when baked into bread
s13. It's outrageous. Wen soon all
he bankrupt. The bakers must be
made to feel the power OF the law.
You should have been at the meet.
ing"
II couldn't come, I was too busy"
said the calm.faced woman.
Busy on a club day? What on
earth att"
Baking bread" said the calm
faced woman.-New York Times.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
Melted Away.

John Grier Hibben. president OF
Princeton university, said at the Lake
Mohonk arbitration conference:
The day is not yet come when vio-
lence and oppression will melt away
before right like the plumbers bill.
Like, | repeat, the plumbers bill.
For n plumber, you know, once pre-
sented a millionaire a bill Of 800
for mending pipe.
But the millionaire handed the
plumber dollar note and said Sc.
verely:
Receipt that bill OF yours in full.
'But-but-' said the plumber.
"'Receipt 1t In full, the millionaire
repeated. / used to be u plumber my
self
The plumber at this gave n great
start, receipted the bill and handed
the millionaire so cents change"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
HIS WlFe's NAME OMITTED !
Considerably DEPRECATED the Value
OF the Book Containing Speeches
OF Greatest Takers.

"Sir." said the sleek.looking agent.
approaching the desk OF the meek.
looking man and opening one OF those
folding thlngamajigs showing styles OF
binding. II believe can interest you
In this massive set Of books contain
iag the speeches Of the worlds great
est orators. Seventy volumes, ons
dollar down and one dollar month
until the price. $3.50. has been paid.
This set OF books gives you the most
celebrated speeches OF the greatest
takers the world has ever known,
and"
LET me see the index" said the
meek man.
The agent handed II to him, and he
looked through II carefully and me.
thod!ca,ly, running his finger along the
list OF names
Reaching the end he handed the In.
dex back to the agent and said: ut
Isn't what you claim II is. | happen to
know the greatest talker in the world,
and you haven't her in the index"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
YOUTH HEADS BIG CONCERN
Younsster Of Fourteen In Charge Of
Corporation Which 10 We'll or
its Feet.

Russell Monbeck. a fourteen.year-old
Dayton (oD boy. is president OF the
Boys Box Furniture company, incor'
porated under the laws OF the state.
1t is cooperative organization, num-
bering among its stockholders Is
boys. ranging from ten to seventeen
years.
The company operates from to q
p. m daily and the company products
are chairs. music racks, piano benches.
writing desks. flower boxes. bird
boxes and other light articles. for
which II finds n ready sale.
The profits are divided up at tho
end OF the year on n basis OF the num-
Der OF hours worked by each boy. Last
year the 2S stockholders divided near.
ly $4,000
The capital stock is one dollar q
share. Some OF the boys are anxious
to buy more stock. but the rules of tho
| company prohibit II.
Young Monbeck has systematized
the producing and selling ends of the
business. ss.-Cleveland Leader.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
Mean DISPOSITION.

Before engaging rooms In your
house. said the bachelor Il want to
know II there are any families with
crying babies staying here"
I'm afraid there is," replied the
landlady; but We"
Well was just going to say" con.
tinued the other, that IL there are.
want YOU TO put mo In the room next
TO theirs. want to wake up In the
night and hear their trouble. so that
| can congratulate myself again that
I'm not married"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
Canned

is your wife putting up any fruit
this summer"
NO. but I've canned a few peaches
myself
you have?"
Yes. I've had three different
stenographers this year. and not one
of them knew half as much about
spelling and grammar as she did
about the latest fashions"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
An Instance.

1--WE do everything in this country
by machinery"
Yes, everything. Why. even in this
very apartment house, they bring up
the children by elevators"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

The double life would not be so dan.
gerous II the fool love letters could be
avoided
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
What He Did.

Papa, who Is this Thaw that the
papers are always talking about"
He's the man who put the b in
'rainstorm'"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

Contrary to the general belief, fiies
do not pay particular attention tC
baldheaded men.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

My notion OF n perfunctory per.
formance Is that given by two won.
en- engaged in kissing each other.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
OF No Further Use.

What are these volumes you are
throwing out?"
My library on international law" +"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
Directions Wanted.

Oculist--you will drop little OF
this into your eye three times 4
day.
Patient--Before meals. or after?
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

Occasionally we meet man who
has sense enough to do the very bes
he can.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

II the man who gives advice freely
knew II was good he would probably
use II himself.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

The average brass band is harmless
until II begins to play.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
A la Bible.

III kissed you on one cheek. what
would you do?"
I'D turn the other cheek, also"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

II isn't what you say but how you
say Il that makes n woman either
your friend or your enemy.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

The man who is known merely rs
his wlfe's husband usually deserves 70
be.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

The man who knows when 10 quit
talking also knows when not TO be.
gin
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

Female suffrage. says an old bach.
elor, is caused by a scarcity OF hus.
bands
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

A tombstone always has good
word for man when he's down.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

There is at least this to be said
for the angels They do not play the
bagpipe.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19
In a Reataurant.

Angry Diner-Waiter. you are not
ct to serve a pig.
Waiter-I'm doing my best, sir.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

Dogs are not dentists. but they oft.
en- insert teeth.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

One small hint may be worth more
than a ton OF advice.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times., 1915-08-19

Speak but little and let that little
be the truth.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22
CORRESPONDENCE
DRESDEN

Ed. Mutcher one of our prosperous
farmers was in town on business We'd
nesday.
Jos. kartes went away last Monday
and will visit with friends in the
Canadian Northwest.
d. A. Baldwin and w. A. Mcintyre
of Langdon were early business WISH
tors in Dresden Wednesday.
Most of the farmers in this COM
munity have their wheat all sown and
many will be through sowing oats
this week.
Louis Bimler, who has taken a
course in piano tuning and piano work
in general, is meeting with great sue
cess in his work which is giving good
satisfaction.
Mr.. E. II. Howard, who comes
highly recommended from Edinburgh,
arrived here last week and takes
charge of the Cavalier County Imple-
ment Company's business at Dresden,
Geo. A. Williams retiring to go into
business for himself in the Corner
Mr.. Howard was in the employ
of the Observation-Disclosures Co. for
sometime and is thoroughly familiar
with the implement business and we
predict for him unusual success.
A bad runaway occurred on the
farm of VIM. Sbach just east Of town
last Friday afternoon, resulting in
three of the horses being badly cut up
and necessitating the hiring of three
more to carry on the farm work. 1t
appears that the hired man was har-
rowing and laid down the lines while
cleaning a section of the harrow,
when the horses took fright and ran
away upsetting the harrow and run
ming through a wire fence and were
thrown onto the harrow in a general
mix up, At the present writing we
are informed that the horses are doing
as we'll as could be expected under
the circumstances.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22
NEk0MA

Miss Vivian Shuttle is on the sick
list this week.
B. j. Dunn sports a brand new
Ford car purchased from E. p. Tscha-
bold our local agent last week.
MI. and Mrs. John Nordlie, Mr..
and Mrs. Geo. Sholey and Ed. Gorsett
of Fairdaie spent Sunday in our burg.
Miss Nellie kirkman returned to
Fargo, Saturday to resume her posi-
ton with one of the largest mercan-
tile stores in that city which she has
held for several years.
JOS. Jewiski and family, from
Adams, N. D., We're Sunday visitors
with Father Garland. The former is
an engineer on a local 500 freight be-
tween Adams and Overly.
A commercial club was organized
Thursday evening with a membership
of twelve. Geo. McCabe being elected
as president while E. P. Tschabold
acts in the capacity Of sec-treas.
H. Giles of Grafton, who returned
from Brandon, Man., from an extend
ed visit with relatives across the line.
stopped off here Saturday to spend
several days at the Robert Lilies
home south of town. Mrs. Lilies is
his daughter.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22
OLGA

Many of our farmers are through
seeding wheat and the acreag will be
somewhat greater than last
Thos. Dunnigan was in our village
last Sunday. 1t was a pleasure to his
many friends here to see the old gen.
tleman around again.
The condition of J.. B. Laderoute is
causing his many friends considerable
anxiety. We sincerely hope we may
report some improvement next week.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Cleary are the
happy parents of a fine eleven pound
baby girl which arrived at their home
last Wednesday the 18th inst. Mother
and daughter are doing we'll.
Mrs. Peter Gamache is suffering
from a severe attack of la grippe and
her condition is the cause of consider
able anxiety to her family and
friends. We hope she will soon
recover
Peter Corriveau took a small load
OF wheat to Walhalla last Monday
which brought him over seventy dol
lars at STAT per bushel. The present
prices are alright for the farmer who
has grain to sell.
Mr.. and Mrs. Sidney Cuffe were
here last Sunday. They will shortly
move here and occupy the CUTIE resi-
dence now occupied by Geo. Roy, who
will move into the house of Mrs.
Finnegan, which he has rented.
VIM. Gendreau returned from Nor
den last Tuesday where he sold a car
load of potatoes which he will deliver
this week. The duty of twenty cents
per bushel and seven and a half per
cent together with shipping expenses
cuts out any profit he might have
made on the sixty cents per bushel he
is getting for them laid down at
Morden.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22

pull the car out Of any mud or. sand. The Maxwell
has a three-speed selective sliding gear transmission
because Maxwell engineers do not consider any
other type to be worthy of the Maxwell car.
Doubie-Shcll Radiator with Shock
Absorbing Device
The Maxwell radiator is of handsome design,
gracefully curved, and it is built to be trouble
proof. 1t is the expensive double, shell type and
has ample cooling capacity. The radiator is
mounted to the frame by means of a shock alb
sorbing device on each side, which relieves the
radiator of all twists and distortions Of the frame,
caused by r%oughness of the road. The shock alb
sorbing device also minimizes the possibility Of
radiator leaks.
The Roomy Full 5-Passenser Body
Adjustable Front Seat
The 1915 Maxwell has a full grown 5-passenger
body. The front seat is adjustable, you can move
1t three inches forward or backward. This makes
the car really comfortable for the driver. No
cramped legs for tall people or uncomfortable
reaching for short people. Most drivers seats are
made To III anyone--so fit no one.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22
Read This List of Expensive Features.
Attractive Streamline Body

Attractive STREAMING Body
Pure streamline body graceful crown tenders.
with all rivets concealed. All the grace, style
and snap that you will find in any OF the highest
priced cars.
A High-Tension Magnetic
Nearly all the high priced cars have high tension
magnetos. A high tension magnetic gives positive
ignition. The Simms magnetic, with which the Max
well is equipped. is recognized as one Of the best
magnetos made.
Left Side Drive-Central Control
Left side steer with gear shifting levers in center
of driving OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES control-has been
accepted by leading makers of expensive automo-
biles as the safest and most comfortable for the
driver; that is why the Maxwell has it. The Max
well is SO easy to drive and control that a child
can handle it.
Three-Speed Sliding Gear Transmission
All high priced cars have a sliding gear trans
mission. 1t is costly to make, but it is the best.
IT the motor has the power. sliding gears will
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22

ant riding qualities of the Maxwell. The spring
suspension of the 1915 Maxwell is the same costly
combination of long semi-elliptical front springs
and the three-Quarter elliptic rear springs that
Is used on most heavy weight, high priced cars.
The Maxwell offers you every essential of the high
est priced machines at a fifth Of their cost.
One Size of Tire-Anti-Skids on Rear
The Maxwell car is one OF the easiest cars in the
world on tires. Maxwell owners carry but one
spare tire and but enc size of spare tubes. Econom-
ical 80 inch X 3N inch tires are used all around.
A famous make OF anti-skid tires are supplied
On rear wheels.
A Dependable Electric Starter
For $50 extra, you can have your Maxwell de-
livered equipped with the famous Simms-Iiuf cleo
trio starter. This starter is efficient, trouble proof
and easily operated.
And the Maxwell is completely equipped from the
clear vision, ventilatlng windshield at the front
to the spare tire carrier at the rear
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22
Low "Up-keep" Carburetor

Low "Up-keep' CarburetOr
The carburetor used on the Maxwell was espec-
tally designed for it after long and severe tests
under every conceivable condition. Economy tours
conducted by hundreds of dealers and owners in
efficiency, its quick response to throttle and its
extremely low consumption of gasoline. 1t has
been termed the low up-keep" carburetor.
reversible Steering Gear
The greatest margin of safety has been pro-
Nldeu IN the steering gear of the 1915 Maxwell.
The Maxwell irreversible steering mechanism is
OF the expensive worm-and-gear type and its SUI
perlorlty over every other type lies in its many
adjustments. At no time is more than a fourth OF
the bearing surface of the gear which operates
the worm in use. When needed, a new bearing
surface may be had by adjusting the gear q quarter
OF a turn: In short, the Maxwell steering gear
mas TOUR times the adjustment Of any other kind.
Heavy Car Comfort
What surprises most people is the smooth, buoy
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22

We give you these two vital things, and
then just about every other detail of re-
finement, comfort and endurance that you
can think of.
Take power and hill climbing ability, for
example when you buy a 1915 Maxwell
you buy an exact duplicate of the stock
Maxwell cars i'm which "Wild Bill" Turner
and Chilly" Carlson broke two Worlds Re-
cords in two of the toughest, toughest n,oun-
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22

tain h;ll-climbs ever made-Mt. Hamilton
and Mt. Wilson.
Take speed and endurance, for example
when you buy a Maxwell you buy a car made
by the same designers-the same chief engi-
neer-from the same Maxwell Laboratory,
heat-treated, tested steel, that was used in the
Maxwell Racers in which Barney Oldfield
and "Billy" Carlson both broke the 300.
mile nonstop race records in Corona and
San Diego.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1915-04-22

Here are the two vital things that any sane
man wants when he buys an automobile
In the first place
"a handsome, real automobile that
he can be proud to ride in.
In the second place
"a powerful, fast, economical auto
mobile that will take him any
where and bring him back.
Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1915-01-30

4os. M. F. Lockard, 40 q. 9Th st..
Monmouth, III.
400. w. 8. Heath, Salem, III.
469. A. e. Cooper, 634 8. State st..
Champaign, III.
sol. J. A. Bonham, 1904 Elm st., Muir.
physboro, III.
500. p. G. Gosnell, villa Grove. III.
623. H. W. Murray, BOZ 100. Flora, III.
64S. r. G. Ziel, Ladd, III.
ST. r. L. wolcott, Boz S21. Palestine.
COO. G. 8. arimth. stockton. nj.
CHIEF CONDUCTORS.
(0iving Division Nos.)
I. r. B. wheeler, 27l6 Wash. Boul.
Chicago.
Il. W. N. g icy. go n York q.
Blue Island, III.
n. r. W. Vincent, 1017 d. Prairie.
Decatur. III.
70. r. L. Piper. Savanna, III.
70. L X. Murphy. 1908 Knoxville.
Peoria, III.
u. A. J. Frssier. 702 Clay g.,
Beardstown, III.
%. q. o. williams. 1le n 9Th g.,
0alesburg, nj.
81. B. williams. 1907 N. Oak, Bloom.
ington, III.
%. Geo. q. spier. 80 North Ave.,
Downers Grove. III.
81. Joe Hayes. Roodhouse. III.
101. J. v. Fitch. 2l12 Prairie. Nation,
III.
100. +. A. Bledsos, Rock Island. NJ.
IL. @. T. Harris. 80 N. Locust g..
Centralia, III.
l13. J. l. English. wauksgan. III.
lls. W. H. Harris, S5 Cleveland. Kan.
kakee, III.
ls7. W. 8. Drovsr. I'll W. williams.
Danville. III.
500. q. A. Coleman. 1os swinnsrton
Ave., Springfield, III.
az. d. w. wanders. Chillicothe. M.
236. q. @. McCarty. Senate Hotel.
Freeport, III.
sss. q. 8. Lane. 40 9Th Ave-. May.
wood. III.
800. r. q. Lsseurs. 1910 Cherry. Ne.
Carmel, III.
81. L N. Housh. coo 9. Maple g.. n.
bingham. III.
81. M. A. stinson. 80 Sterling. Jol.
let, III.
$50. H. W. Bibb. 1893 Market. East
st. Louis. III.
3SS. J. G. Mo0uan, 1928 Bell o..
Alton. III.
400. J. J. MILAN. SIS N. Monroe. Gin.
ton, III.
400. q. q. Mitchell. S1s W. 3rd Ave..
Monmouth. NJ.
100. T. Whitson. Salem. III.
80. d. q. Jolly. 205 8. Lynn. Cham.
paigo. III.
sol. Carl q schmidt 800 10th g..
Cairo. III.
500. J. d. Blair. vl1la Grove. =
623. d. Nancy. BOZ 81. Flora, III.
64S. H. Hill. LAdd. III.
$40. J. d. Younsblood. Carbonate.
III.
ST. J. q. Brown. Eninsham, III.
600. D. v. Beck. 1881 Coulter Ave-. Du.
buque, Iowa.
Chicago 10 fun % attractions fol
| VbUAVOAU1 V0SDSO0 VI ~ 04V SoOoS0Su
and hundreds Of car routes. Among
the principal features the following
are worth looking ct:
North Division.
Water Tower. Chicago avenue Va
ter works.
Academy Of Sciences museum. Lin
coin Park.
Cemeteries - Grassland. Rosehill
Calvary. st. Boniface.
Grant. Lincoln. Schiller. Goethe and
other monuments, Lincoln Park.
Historical Society. Dearborn ave
nue. and Ontario street.
Lake Shore Drive. Gansbergen Bout
evard.
Lincoln Park conservatories and
zoo.
Newberry Library. Clark street and
| Walton place,
Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1915-01-30
ILLINOIS TRAINm I'm
Officers and Legislative Committeeman of the Con.
ductors an 1 Trainmen of the Prairie State.

DePaul University, Webster and
Sheffield avenues.
Marine Hospital. Clarendon and
Graceland avenues.
Soldiers monuments In st. Boni.
face, Rosehill, Calvary and Graceland
Cemeteries.
Indian trail tree. Glencoe.
South Division.
Continental and Commercial Bank
building, la Sale, Adams, 8. 9Th Ave.
and Quincy streets.
Court House and City Hail, CLARK.
La Sale, Randolph and Washington
streets.
Art institute. on the lake front. foot
Of Adams street.
Auditorium tower. wabash avenue
and Congress street: view Of city.
Blackstone branch library. Lake
avenue and l9th street.
Board Of Trade, La Sale street and
jackson boulevard; admission to gal.
lery.
Cahokia courthouse on Wooded 10.
land in jackson Park.
Caravels In Jackson Park.
Chicago Normal School, eSth street
and Stewart avenue.
Confederate monument In Oak.
woods Cemetery.
crerar Library. 81 wabash avenue.
sixth door.
Douglas monument. ssth street and
Ellis avenue.
Field Museum, In Jackson Park.
Federal Building. Adams and Clara
streets.
Fort Dearborn site tablet, 1 River
street. opposite Rush street bridge.
Grand Army hall. public library
building. Randolph street and Mich.
igan avenue.
lroquois theater Ore. scene Of, 7ASs
Randolph street
Jackson Park. Worlds Fair. 1888.
Life Saving station. ct mouth Of
river.
Lincoln wigwam tablet. Market and
Lake streets.
Logan statue in Grant Park flake
front).
Marquette Building sculpture pan.
ole. Dearborn and Adams streets.
Marquette-Joliet cross. Robsy street
and drainage canal.
Masonic Temple: -tsw Of city from
root
Massacre monument in 18th street
near the lake.
Mckinley statue in Mckinley PARK.
Public Library. MichiGon avenue
and Warrington street.
South Water street: commission
house district.
state street department stores:
shopping district
stockyards. Ealstsd and Root sts.
University Of Chicago. Midway
plaisance.
Warrington statue. Grand bouls
ward and 61st street.
Wooded island In Jackson Park.
West Division.
Douglas Park.
Drainage canal.
Garfield Pafk.
Ghetto district on South Canal, JET
ferson ana Maxwell streets; ash mar
ket on Jefferson street from 18th q
Maxwell.
Jefferson street north OF Randolph
and Desplaines street. scene Of IN
archist riot.
Hull House. 336 South Halsted ct.
Humboldt Park.
Humboldt, Lief Ericsson. Reuter- and
Kosciusko monuments In Humboldt
Park.
Police monument (Haymarket). II
Union Park.
Fire tablet (1S71). 1877 DeKover
street.
The $4,000 railroad employees Of
Chicago are worth listening to in thu
matter of terminal electriflcation
They are all against II. Are the few
cranks who favor electrihcation Of
railroads more important than these
men. who spend 100000 o month II
Chicago?