The Washington times., 1915-03-14
Day of Rest
BY "BUGS" BAER.

Today is the day of rest and quiet in
Camp Griff.
The almanac says it is.
According to the calendar. peace and
solitude will reign supreme in Camp
Griff and environs, but what will ac-
tually happen is something else again.
The day of rest will be about as rest
full as being astridc bucking oroncho
with a burr under the saddle. and as
quiet as a boiler factory that has just
had its transmission gears oiled.
Today Is the day Of rest and quiet in
Camp Grif.
The rocks and rcgs will have respite
from the six strenuous days on the
diamond Schasing wild throws and
throwing 'em back wilder
They will not be forced to play ball
on the day of rest.
But WOW! What those birds won't
do.
The quiet will get an awful jolt in
the first place the minute Eddie Ain
smith wakes up and finds Chick Can
dill using his briar pipe for shoe horn.
And by the time the quiet RECEIVERS
from that blow, Joe Engel VIII De
awake giving his demonstration of lhe
economical quartet. Joe takes the part
of four men in the economical quartet,
thus saving the salary OF three trained
singers, and making just as much
racket.
And while the quiet is still groggy.
Jim Shaw will quit snoring in order
to make more racket bouncing shoe
of whoever happens to be playing the
piano at that opportune moment
his other sock and fall off the step
ladder he has commandeered to enable
him TO pull out the nails which fasten
Az to the ceiling. The conclusion Will
awake the rest Of the heavy sleepers,
and about that time things will really
start in to be quiet Ray Morgan will
he the uuietest of the bunch. as the ~
cent drum he bought last Monday is al
most void of vitality. However Kay VIII
run a good second In quietness to Jack
Bentley, whose mouth organ misses a
cylinder once in while.
Bv- this time the Quietness Will have
reached such an intense stage that the
monkey house at the zoo would get all
iealoused up If II were present. Shrieks
of silence will resound through the
training quarters.
IF a Maxim silencer happened to be
within fifty miles of the ranch 1t would
hurst itself trying to make good. The
acoustics of the Blue Ridge mountains
will get an awful lacing The price OF
echoes will RAPIDLY drop In value. as
there will be plethora OF en-; ,,
able, You will be able to hear a pin
drop. The probabilities are that a pin
or two will drop-on your skull.
Coupling pins. railroad is very
That lets the quiet out.
Now for the rest. The boys will not
play ball. They will rest.
Some of 'em will rest walking tC
Monticello, which is six miles as the
crow flies, but about sixteen II the
crow hapDenS to walk.
What makes this walk all the more
restful is that il is uphill all the way.
Then some of the other rest seekeri
will rest astride good sway back steeds
which are easily procurable In th
equine garage here.
This rest Is fine. as most OF the tim
you are not on the nag.
You are just arriving back on him.
The rest oe the rest seekers vii
probably acquire rest by endeavorinl
to juggle the piano and a postage staml
at the same time.
This Is very restful.
For the piano.
The day OF rest and quiet is a grea
institution. Big help to the tired ath
Ietes.
Baseball is so enervating
And rest il so i1vigorat!ng.
No use talking
<meri"a is great country.