El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1915-03-13

to sprint back. Athrocities-Th' lni-
my'S way iv maxim war PRISONERS
stories iv starvation an mutiny among
tn iuimy-Politeness iv guest
BE tn look iv things IN. fercest
fiEhtin' has not been on tn battle
field, but amongst tn noncOmpaIanls-
II tn armies felt as sore at each other
as tn college professors. tn clarSy,
an tn potes. tn war wud be over in
a month Tn sOjers wud throw away
their gun an bite each other IT,
sthrange that while Central Joffer an
Gin'rel Won kluck ar-re passiu' chunks
iv ir'u an lead at each other in the polit-
est way i'm tn wurruld an without
thrace iv hathred, a professor IN
Munich nyrites to a professor IN ON-
ford. .'Whin ] heered We read ye'er
ps-aper on stalkin' III butterfly at
our last congress L said TO mesilf. here
is wan iv natures mobiles prOducks-
But since / suppose We have taken
tn side iv ye'er barb'rOus country in
stampin on tn On'y refined nation in
the Wurruld- with all RESPECT fr ye'er
attachments, an as scientific men shud,
Herr Professor. stand alOOf firm tn
sordid thing called pathritism. I must
say with due RESPECT / don't think We
liver had tn nerve TO face a butthCr-
fly, an if I was near ye I'd like to
give ye good kick in tn stats, ye
skate, We
TO which tn professor Of Oxford
replies; Up TO tn outbreak iv tn
FORCED upon a peaceful nation be III
inthrigues iv such low scUts as ye'er-
silf I had tn highest RESPECT fr tn
larnin' Nv ye'er country an ye'ersilf
I reminder tn thrill I felt whin 1
heerd ye'er lecture on tn Home Hab-
its iv III Duck" an recall tn deli
cyous AFTERNOON spint uudhe- tn
thrall is ye'er iloquence, 1 can on'y
be tolerant an say We lie, an We know
We lie. As fr ye'er Imply bombasticaI
threats thin
remark that am a Briton. an in de
fiuSe ~ me cOun-thry's honor I viii
slam over tn cerebelum with me
thrusty butterfly net amy cheap orny-
biologist that has been sowin' mines
in tn North Sea, is a well-known spy.
an is at this moment carryin' tn toes
Nv Belgian childer in his coat pocket
As fr what tn clarEy iv tn vary
Gus countries has been sayin' at each
oIher- 1 don't dare TO repeat it /
might be overheard be tn polls. But
IN potes has been III boys Whin I
rread tn bulletins firm Berlin about
tn ouivintful matinees in tn western
theayter, an thin think iV what 7 have
suffered from the pothry iv IT, war. I
feel like stoppin me contributions TO
tn RELIEF fund Why shud 7 be sindin'
clothes TO tn men in tn trenches2 Be
rights they ought 70 be sindin me
ear-muffs- I am safe firm tn sixteen
inch howitzers. but tn man in tn
threnches is safe firm tn pothry iv
tn war An he has III best iv it.
Win war was declared. without
givin' Wurrud iv wamin' tn notes
TURNED loose on onarmed civilians.
women. childer, Red Cross nurses an
ambulance bearers. a deadly fire iv
kind iv pOthry that is conthry 10 tn
laws iv civilized warfare an in villa
ton iv III Geneva convintion- Some
w. these PONIES has been examined
whin they fell without explodin' an
found 20 contain lines that viii give
tn victim a perpetchOol tOOthache I
myself. though separated be thousands
iv miles firm III battlefield. have found
mesilf exposed TO a merciless lombard
ment firm concealed batthries iv Eng
Hsh an. native potes, an I've been
pickin' fragments ~ broken rhymes
out iv me old head liver since. Tn
German pothry is heavier an more on
wieldly. an can be on'y fired firm
specially constructed concrete f6un-
daIons- II was wan iv these PONIES
that destroyed tn lbery al Louvain
Tn Fr-rinch potes have disappointed
expectations because most iv IN potes
ARE in III trenches but tn ROoshyan
pothry has been extremely deadly.
~ can find IL in tn paper marked