The Washington herald., 1915-03-21
Portia Routs Squire Crunb
In "Boneless Egg" Case

The great case Of the Borough of Pine
Notch versus Newton Bull has had its
day in court. To report the entire pro-
lceedings before Squire Gerald 'Crumb
would require many columns OF space.
From the moment Constable Reg Hay
and Bailin Jim Dolan threw open the
portals of the tribunal sensation fol-
lowed sensation.
The climax came when Newt Bull ap-
peared in company with young woman
lawyer. whom he had engaged to defend
him. Never had Portia shaken out her
petticoats in the presence of Squire
Crumb before. Nor could you say ex-
actly that Nevis counsel shook out her
| petticoats or futtered fiuffily and with
many frou-frous and swishes through
the courtroom. She wore divided skirts.
a paid waistcoat and jumper jacket.
heavy walking shoes and stiff derby
with a green feather. She is cousin OF
Miss Pemple. editor Of the Pine Notch
Fortnightly Bulletin. and 1t was upon
the advise Of our talented young journal
list and suffragette that the secretary OF
the Pine Notch Board of Poultry Trade
was persuaded to engage her. The name
of this triking and startling visitor to
Pine Notch Is Ethel Weir Near. She is
la Minnesota blonde with blue eyes, and
was admitted to practice at Sleepy Eye.
Mimi. though most of her practice is
said to be in the adjoining town of New
Ulm.
Upon advice of counsel. Newt Bull
uttered only one sentence in court as he
was hailed to the bar by Constable Hay.
Miss Ethel Weir Near walked beside
him. and noddinS toward her Newt Bull
said simply anA finally, Your honor, my
lawyer. she'll defend me-
Squire Crumb was struck speeches..
In 4 sudden spasm of nervousness he
raped his own knuckles with his gavel.
The Bull twins laughed at this and were
Summarily fined 80 cents each for con-
tempt Of court and elected from the room
by Bailifr Dolan. Zedekiah Bull the de-
PENDANTS father. was fined 81 for saying
something under his breath, which he re-
fused 10 repeat aloud. Reading Spill. the
old driver of Hose Company No. IS. al
leges that II. Bulls whisperings contained
profane comment upon Squire Crumb
and upon his son Newt for hiring n wom-
an lawyer Bailiff DOlan did not eject
the elder Bull for the reason that Zede-
kiah holds two of Dolan's notes.
Counselor Ethel Weir Near smiled con-
temptously while his honor disposed OF
these annoyanCes. She was still smiling
when Squire Crumb turned sharply upon
her and demanded to see her license to
practice. She smiled on while the court
read through every word q the license
and closely inspected the seals. Squire
Crumb handed back the license with
Grunt and asked:
We'll. whatter you got to say? The
charge is that Newton Bull has disturbed
the peace an committed a nuisance agin
the comfort an we'll bein' o Pine Notch
by starting riddle going round about
homeless eggs. This riddle has caused
ten assaults and seven batteries in this
borough. according to special count of
Constable Reg Hay. The evidence is
overwhelnlin agin him. and there amt
no use trim out your voice defendin. l
reckon he got a woman lyer to defend
him cause a man would a-had better
sense"
rs that all. your honor asked Miss
Near. in a voice so sweet and musical
that half dozen male spectators rushed
out TO be shaved and buy collars and
neckties. Even Squire Crumb was so af-