The Winslow mail., 1915-09-10
Why He Balked
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II will mott" stated Whingle, firmly
and co1dly
Mrs Whingle went on with her din
ner unruffled 1--WE meet at the Dub
kinks tonight she told him sweetly.
And I think I'll let them come here
next time. The curtains are just back
from the cleaners and everything is
nice and fresh!"
you may be going to meet at the
Dubkirks," said Whingle, hotly, but I
am not! Any human being who de-
sires to see me this evening will find
me right over there in my comfortable
library chair, with my slippers, news
paper and pipe, presenting q picture
at once dignifed and appropriate
middle aged man appearing as he ought
to appear. To think that you, my
wife. who should have my best inter
ests at heart, should want me to make
a fool of myself"
'Now, Wilfred,'' said Mrs. Whingle,
dropping her airy tone and getting
down to brass tacks, ''you are perfect
ly ridiculcusi You were in the dane
ing class last winter and why should
you suddenly turn against it now?
We had awfully good times"
SO we did, said Whingle II
don't. know when I've had more fun
than did watching Whoofes learning
the Hesitation! It was just like
chicken with the string gha1t. And I've
no doubt Whoof1es enjoyed himself
quite as much when he gazed on me
trying the twinkle All grown men
who did the twinkle last winter should
have been taken and tenderly shot.
"The twinkle is pastime for babes,
but not for adults" continued Whingle.
when it came to the pompous tango l
felt just as much at home as would an
elephant trying to skip lightly from
crag to crag. I smothered my feelings
for your sake and suffered agonies.
slightly relieved because all the other
fat men Of my age looked just as silly
as I did That sustained me some
what
II was born to be hanged, otherwise
the Castle Walk would have killed me
on the spot, To do the Castle Walk
and still have your breathing appara-
man needs to go into training suitable
for prize fight. My partner always
had to give me first aid to the injured
and call for water to bring back the
Pickering spark Of life at the finish!
above all | hated the hesitation.
When ! waltz / want to waltz and IT,
tend strictly to business, instead of
being smitten with paralysis every
few seconds, during which | feebly
suspend one foot in the air as though
signaling for assistance. Do you re-
member when / lost my balance while
my foot was in the air an! fell into
the Chinese vase at the Ebbicks? They
but to this day Mrs. Ebbicks looks
should have thanked me for smashing
such an atrocious thing as that vase,
but to this day Mrs. Ebbicks looks aa
though she was about to burst into
tears when she meets me and l have
the uncomfortable feeling that I would
mortgage my home and import
sacred pagoda inlaid with gold for her
IL l were really SCnlISludns
This hasn't anything at all to do
with the dancing class this winter!''
insisted Mrs. Whingle They aren't
doing any of those dances now,"
~ know it," growled Whingle. "Oh.
I'm wiset The dancing teachers have
to earn money to take them on vaca-
tions to Palm Beach and Europe, SO
they've sprung lot of new ones! !
saw that card the other day that our
teacher sent you, and what did it say
on it? The Fox-trot, the Canter, the
Ta-tao, the Loop-the-Loop or something
like that, and a lot more! Can you
picture me on clogs hopping along to
meet my partner and humping fore
heads in the Tatao without q pang Of
pity? Can you even dream of me
trotting along like red fox or doing
hobbyhorse canter without pausing
in your demon career? Remember,
I'm q director on sev }2al boards and
our living depemds % ny sustaining q
reputation for being man of sanity"
Pooh, said Mrs. Whingle "All the
other directors will be experts in the
new dances befofe you quit talking
this nonsense! You're just lazy and
you've got to come along with me, so
nowl If you dance hard enough, you'n
get thin"
81 tell you z wsn's,' said Whingle,
stubbornly.
"Your clothes are all laid out and
you've fifteen minutes to dress" pro
ceeded Mrs Whingle, inexorably She
looked him straight in the eye and
then smiled beguilingly. you're com.
ing, aren't you, Willie?"
cob, darn it ALL" said Whingle. ~