South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-02-17
Statesmen keal
and Near.
BY Fred c. Kelly

WASHINGTON, Feb. L. - This
question Of maintaining ones neutral
ity makes Congressman Henry Barn
hart think Of the case of old Bill Jones
or whatever his name was, out at
Rochester. Ind, where Barnhart has a
little newspaper.
One morning Bill Joness wife called
Editor Barnhart on the telephone and
asked him If he would like to have a
good, red-hot article for his paper.
Always" replied Barnhart.
So Mrs. Jones said she would put
on her hat and be right down.
In little while she came bounding
into Barnhart's Office and began tell
ing him all about IL.
Her story, il appeared, was in the
nature of a undertaking article, and
the subject was her husband.
Old Bill Jones. so his wife said, had
fallen in love with q gOOd-for-noIhing
widow over at Peru, and was much
in her society. to the neglect of his
work and his family.
One day Mrs. Jones caught him and
che Peru widow engaged in earnest
conversation over a timetable down
at the railway station.
Going some place." asked Mrs.
Jones. in a twitting, bantering tone,
as she walked by the pair.
Whereupon the Peru widow squared
herself away and gave Mrs. Jones a
piece of her mind. 1t was an extraor-
binary piece OF mind, too, contain
ing a great many altogether depre-
eating epithets and certain quaint
nouns which if reproduced here would
tend to prevent this paper from going
through the mails.
Bill Jones excused himself while
this clever repartee was being eX-
changed and started TO walk away.
Are you going 10 allow your own
wife TO be called such nameS2" asked
Mrs. Jones. who was really quite put
out about the thing. as she afterward
explained to Barnhart. Il say, are you
the kind of man that will let woman
like her say such things TO your own
wife? Answer mel"
At which point Bill Jones, looking
back over his shoulder, stated his
position of neutrality.
II do not intend" said he Ito take
sides in this matter at all"
Sen. Hamilton Lewis Of Illinois has
"A great memory for words and phrases
but scarcely any for figures. He dis
likes anything involving even the
slightest form of mathematical calcu-
lation, and for this reason rarely
counts his change.
Don't you suppose people cheat
you =! ne was asked.
Yes" he admitted, Il imagine they
do. ] suppose / have lost great
many thousands of dollars in that
way
Vice Prest Marshall while waiting
for train at small town in the west
was introduced to the local station
and express agent.
This is Mr.. Marshall, vice president
4 . ha
who made the introduction.
We'll, / don't mind telling you that
| didn't like that last inspector you
/ sent around" remarked the agent TO
| Marshall.
Il don't understand" said Marshall
Didn't the man say you were vice
president Of the L. So"
| Yes"
We'll, if your company sends any
I more boneheads like that last one to
90 over my accounts I'll quit you and
go TO work for the Adams or the
/ Wells Fargo"
l have just ascertained why it is
/ that members of congress do so much
/ talking. 1t is for the purpose of keep
/ ing in practice. If one did not get up
and make speech every day he
would not be able To make a speech
/ when one is actually needed. 1t is on
\ the same principle that financiers
often borrow money when they do not
need il so that they may feel perfect
/ ly at ease when they really have to
/ borrow.
Champ Clark testihes on this point
as follows:
During the last year that l was
/ the minority floor leader / got into
/ the habit of having comparatively
| little to say, and / found that the
longer / went without making a
/ speech the less desire I had TO make
one. There is no place where public
| speaking is harder than in the house,
and one who seldom does it is apt to
| be half afraid to try it,"
other members have told me that
/ they find il just that way and speak
| frequently rather than wake up some
dread day and find that they have
little inclination TO speak at all.
/ Copyright, 1915. by Fred c. Kelly)