The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1915-01-15
THE MAN VINO MAKES NO MIS-
TAXES or GRAMMAR.
Eph small on the Presidents Benemoth-
Ike Effort at indianapolis.

To THE EDITOR OF TIRE SUN-Str:
Have you read the Presidents India
napolls speech I asked Eph Small yes
terday morning
"Ive read 1t from start to finish." he
answered. TITS the most readable speech
that's ben delivered by any President in
forty years"
what do you particularly like about
itY' | inquired
The Eenrul tone" said Eph. the
main elegance Of II. When | started to
read II had the comftable feelin' that I
want a-goin to run across any mistakes
o. grammar nowhere"
"But how would you know whether you
did or not?' ] asked you don't claim to
be a grammarlan, do your"
M. sir" replied Eph promptly AN
don't claim to be a zoologist nuther an
yet I'd travel ten mile any day to see the
blood sweatin' Behemoth o. Holy Writ
an I'd reco'nize the beast when I saw
it. too" ~
nize an error OF grammar II you saw IT,"
yer logic amt sound" retorted Eph.
apparently warming up to the subject.
"In order for me to reconize Behemoth
don't have to he one. do - Likewise
I don't have to he a grammarian to reco'-
nise that the President never makes no
mistakes in writin' or speakin' the Eng
lish language
"Ev'rybody's agreed that an overgrown
short legged. Dubious jowled. pink skinned
river hawg IL tho Behemoth OF Job
That's all I know about IL but it's nun.
an believe 1t.
Likewise | cal'late, evrybody's agreed
that the President Is a right smatt gram
marian: an further than that, he admits
II himself, which furnishes an additional
pus'nel witness that ye amt got in the
case OF the Bchemoth.
s'Ypq air that'q Tho frat thing thpV all
say whenever the President opens his
mouth. that he never makes no mistakes
o. grammar Everybody says IT, psychol-
oRists, pacifcators. farmers. wage earn
ers. Mormons, suffragists an business
men. classes OF our patriotic citzenry
which have named in the order OF their
importance with the Administration"
Eph fumbled in his pockets, apparently
looking for something
II thought ! had the speech with me-"
ne continued 81 cut II out OF The noos-
paper. intendin' to keep II for future ref
renee It's not only parfict specimen
OF correct English, but it's strong in what
ye might call elementary philosophy
"Ye see. before this here Admin'stra-
ton come In we'd ben a-readin' speeches
an messages all clogged UP with facts
an figgers. Just after ye'd finished read
in paragraph about the benef cent In
flooence a. civilization In the PHILIPPINES,
with a statement OF the number OF dead
an wounded. ye'd come to a paragraph
shown exports an imports an internal
rev'nucs an sechlke uninterestin' an sor-
did details.
Them old speeches an messages was
great on facts, even II they was some
times doctored.
But now it's diff'runt
I'm the old days II was customary 10
prove the prosperity OF the country by
! a table Of statistics. Now ye prove II
by psychic research. Then we was en-
gagged In the pursoot OF tangible an vul-
| gar things like work an trade an COM
| merce.
Now we're dedicated TO n mission o
| aarvice An what's n table o. statistics
TO n man with mission who, in the alb
| sence Of material prosperity. is a-doin'
| his best to wish II onto the country, pro-
! vlded it don't injure no foreign natonT'
~ think. Eph," I remarked. that
| could forgive n mistake Of grammar now
and then II business would pick up
Eph shook his head
. shame on ye man 80 he cried would
| We arraign ycrself with tho most dscred-
! tied class OF Americans? Would We put
business afore sarvice? I'm surprised at
W. why don't We try to appreciate
what's bein' done fer ye" This is an
! Administration of good grammar an good
Intentions What more dye WANT
hLpAET, January ~ Sisios; CGEEi.