davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Payette enterprise. (Payette, Canyon Co., Idaho) 1909-1935, 1915-12-02
Stated Mestln'
'HAsnoE LODGE. NO. as.

A. F. L. A. NJ are held Ia the Ma
sonic hall In the characterization
building on the second Tuesday ev-
sning Of each month. All sojourninr
Master Masops are frsternally invi;
ed to be present
VIM. cARsTEks, WIN.
}. r. WALKER, seo'y.
Payette enterprise. (Payette, Canyon Co., Idaho) 1909-1935, 1915-12-02
M. ~. r..

M. ". Il.
The Modern Woodmen Of America
meet the second Wednesday OF each
month at p M.
Grange Hall, over Testers Second
hand Store
Visiting neighbors welcome ut all
meetings.
Assessments can be paid at Geisler
Bros Store.
C. w. GIESLER, Clerk.
HENRY CARSTENS. Consul.
Payette enterprise. (Payette, Canyon Co., Idaho) 1909-1935, 1915-12-02
HIS POSITION NO SINECURE
Persian Poet Laureate Kept at Work
lmmortalizing the Speeches Of
His Royal Master.

Persia appears to be the only coun-
try besides England where poet
laureate has been maintained of re-
cent years. Until Muzaffar-ed-Di
abolished the post in 1896 the court
of Teheran had for centuries pos
sessed a laureate. whose duties were
far more numerous than those of his
British confrere.
According to Narcisse Persin, who
spent some years in Persia at the
beginning of the nineteenth century,
court etiquette prescribed that
whenever the shah travelled outside
the capital his suite must include a
dwarf, giant, jester. historiog-
rapher and poet laureate.
The last two were kept busy, for,
while the histeriographer had to re-
cord for posterity all the doings and
sayings of the shah, the laureate was
called upon to celebrate large pro-
portion of these, in verse. M. Persin
highly commends this custom, which
he found rigidly followed, "fer the
shah, knowing that many OF his ut
terances and deeds would be CRYSTAL
lied in an ode, felt bound, on these
royal progresses, to speak and behave
majestieally."
Payette enterprise. (Payette, Canyon Co., Idaho) 1909-1935, 1915-12-02

by Williams ARMoRCOTE
roof and
chicken house-Cal E. A. Blair iron paint
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
UNCLE ELPS FABLES
There 5 a Point or Two for the Readers

One day the King got the idea into his
head that his courtierS might have been
pi1inS II on too much, and he therefore
invited all his subjects to come before
him and speak the truth. One after an
other N long procession they went be-
fore him and pronounced him the great
est general. the most eminent statesman
and the wisest ruler on earth Everything
was said to increase his conceit. and he
was getting to think he owned the globe
when rugged-faced peasant paused
before him to say:
Before speaking my mind, o King. I
pray thee to como down on the lawn
and see what | have brought
The King descended with him to behold
n beehive with three holes bored In Its
face for the bees to come and go.
''Dost dare to trifle with thy King"
demanded his highness as he saw only
the hive before him.
Not on my life" replied the Peasant.
You who are so great and eminent.
you must know into which hole to thrust
your finger after honey
why the middle one. of course. said
the King as he advanced and performed
the little trick.
An hour later when the poultice had
begun to case the pain little. and the
royal physician had assured him he
would live through 1t. the King sent for
the Peasant and held up finger as big
as a baseball bat and said:
What you wanted to prove was that
the wisest man has still something to
learn. and you hit me plumb-center. For
the lesson thou hast taught me in the
bee-business I give thee this gold chain. I"
Thanks. o, King
Don't he in hurry. A subject may
never make a fool of his King. and for
tho lesson I hast taught thee in manners
I'll hav" the boys give thee two hundred
on the bare back
MORAL:
'B'gosh. but suppose he'd tried fin
ger in every hole Sroaned the Peasant
as he linpcd homeward.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
Fate of the Brig |'IUan''

Russian commander called for assist
ance 1t would not have been afforded. At
least fifty of us saw the Russian cap
tain shot and thrown overheard. and af-
ter him went his first lieutenant. Then
follow ed the paymaSter. and two others,
and the crow had the brig to themselves
Before going out of the harbor men
were sent to every vessel to show their
raw backs and tell now they had been
wronccd, and as tEc brig turned her
head to sea she was cheered. The sailor
fully believes i'm the old saying that turn
about is fair play. Treat him half
way decertly and no peril is too great
for him to encounter-no hardship Sc
we're enough to make him complain Sc
him like dog and he will submit UP to
4 certain. extent. Go beyond that and
he becomes recklesSly desperate and
savage. Not a sailorman in port blamed
these men. and all hoped they would get
safely out of it. ] was one of the three
men from our bark who picked I'D the
captains dead body as it fnatcd in the
hav that evening. and lowed it ashore
for odrial.
1t was week after when We got ready
for sea. hound for Rio Janiero. We had
no idea Of ever hearing from the Rus
SLAMS again. but when four days out We
ran across New Bedford whaIer named
Scott. which gave MS some exciting news.
Two days before she had been brought
to ny the Ivan in mdoCean. An armed
boats crew had come aboard and robbed
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
Brother Gardner's Remarks
The Great Man Also Has His Troubles

imagery Falls for five dollars dan my ole
woman did for two shillins. Greatness
may bring store cloze, but 1t doan' allus
bring happiness Fame may bring
house purvided wild a burglar alarm. but
de higher de fame de higher de gas bills.
II greatness comes foolin' around you,
catch him by the coattails. If he neb-
her comes, be content widout him. A
bonneville and chill'en-plenty to eat
pew rent paid an a pig in de pen. am
good 'nuff fur any man. an he who seeks
to climb higher am JUS as apt to bust
his 'spender buttons as to git dar."
81 war ober to de wilder Smiths de
odder evenin' to see II she could lend
my ole woman her washboar1 de mex
day, an de wilder she spoke up an said:
.Misser Gardner. dis world am all
sham" / war in de co'ner grocery de
mex day. an de grocer he hove a sigh
As big as my fist as he leaned ober de
counter an said: 'Misser Gardner. dis
world am all a sham ] was blackin' n
stove fur de doctah down on de co ner
below dat same day. an when i got
frew wild he job he drapped . quarter
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
P: D. Q! INTERVIEWS
"He Was Elected by Large Majority",

"Ah, but you have come to congratu-
late me- exclaimed the successful can
didate as the P. D. 9. Man entered his
office.
Yes. you got there in great shape"
Anything new as to the majority
"The latest returns bring It up to
9. Coz
:Whew. And I never counted on any
thing above 15.0oO | hear that the OPP
position conceded me only 5000
1T was that last speech of yours at
the opera house that settled the major
fly. After you had finished L bet on
1000 majority
Nothing wrong with that speech, eh?"
laughed the newly elected.
why, Major. 1t would have elected
President, You see, you hadn't come out
before and announced just where you
stood on certain Questions. and the peo-
pie were wondering and waiting
Il hope no one doubted my integrity.
Not for a moment. but a man may
mean well and still make mistakes. In
that speech you rather broke away from
the party platform and adopted one of
You pledged yourself to strict public
economy.
You said we should have lower taxes.
You said you should be an enemy of
all graft.
You said the workingman should
have good pay and full dinner pals
again.
cheaper coal and flour.
You were to stand between hunger
and cold and the poor
And my platform brought the cheers
and the votes" smiled the major as he
patted his knee with satisfaction.
Surely il did. I want TO go over that
platform a little with you.
81 shall he pleased. Go ahead
We'll. about this public economy. Can
You do anything toward stopping the
waste and extravaganza"
Not A darned thing"
''But you are pledged"
oh. YES, but you know what politt-
cal pledge is
Then you won't get UP and speak in
favor of rigid economy"
1T would be playing the fool
Put what are the electors who elected
YOU going to think about it,
oh. they'll forget it. They always
do
And how about lower taxes" was
asked.
Same old song-same Gullihls crowd
You heard the speech. Did you swallow
that part of it,
Yes and ! think We all did"
Il wouldn't have thought it, You
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09

inter my hand an softly whispered:
'Brudder Gardner. dis world am all a
sham Now, brudders. all dat talk am
cl'ar hosh. De world am all right.
Who says de boss am sham? Who
says dat de COW an mule an dog an de
cat am shams? De man who falls down
finds solid bizness. De man who buys
Goldfish doan get mutton chops. When l
ak fur kaliker dey doan' gin me silk.
Once in awhile we may frow bootjack
at a cat an hit muffin but an ash barrel
but de world in gineral am plenty good
nun for de kind of people who put in
der time heah. De man who scratches
his hack agin de City Hall will tell you
dat de world am all a sham. De chap
who's wife supports him by washin an
sewin' feels dat de world am sham all
ober. DE noodlehead who sots out to
captur' de public wild a little cane an
good deal of brass is no sooner stepped
on dan he cries out: Sham" till We
can't rest. I doan' wont to hear dat
'spreshun aroun hcah. kase it won't go
down wild men who work ten hours
day an pay DER honest debts"
What 7 was Gwine to remark, was to
say to you dat the pusson who expects
to inioy dis life mus make up his mind
to strike dc world on de gineral average.
He who neglects to do so will meet wild
daily sorrows and disprntments.
"Doan't expect dat de man who hap
pens to agree wild you on the weather.
am sartin to agree wild you on politicks-
1t doaus foller dat de man who agrees
wild you on politicks will feel bound to
accept your kind of religion. De fack
dat you lend a naybur your shovel doan'
bind him to lend You his wheelbarrer.
He who looks for honesty whar' he finds
gray hairs will he sadly disappointed as
he who argues dat old coat am de
sign of thief or a beSEar. Put faith
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09

but determined. and it was plain that
all had been drinking. and that great
confusion existed aboard the brig. From
what the crew of the whaler overheard
they were led to believe that the men
had abandoned the idea or making the
coast of Brazil and had decided to turn
pirate.
on the next day We spoke an English
brig named the Empress. She, too. had
suffered an overhauiing at the hands of
the Russians. When they had attempt
ed to take what they wanted the captain
resisted and he shot down In his
cabin The two crafts were then brought
together. the sea being smooth, and
much of tho EnElishmaus cargo was
removed 10 the Russians. when the lat
ter finally left sh" was headed to the
south. and So We saw that the idea of
going to Brazil had been dismissed from
their minds.
The next news zane to us two days
later. \ gale Sprang IN from the south
west. and before it was four hours old
we were compelled to lie to. 1t struck
us about o'clork in the afternoon and
did not reach its height until about
next morning. Everything was boiling
and bowling when we caught sight OF
the Russian down in the southwest She
must have run before the gale much
longer than we did. for she was not in
sight when it broke upon us. Being
higher out of the water and more heavily
SPARED. she was also drifting faster.
About o'clock she drove slowly past
us at not more than cable length away
and we saw many evidences that things
We're not shipshape aboard her. Since
tho crew had decided upon a rowing life
they would naturally shake of all dis
cipline. We could see plainly enough
that they had done So although the brig
was lying to on the same tack as our
selves and making equally good weather
CT it. By o'clock in the afternoon she
WAS out of sight. and about that time the
gale settled down into a fair sailing
breeze. We got Off on our course again.
but an hour before shutdown we saw the
Ivan corning down upon us from the
north.
Our c. tain had no idea of being plum
dered by the fellows. and we cracked on
sail until it seemed that a yard more
would take the masts overheard. Had
the Russian been astern OF us we GER
tainly would have held our own. II not
walked away from her. but she was COM |
ing down at right angles and everybody |
realized that she would certainly cut us
on. / had not told any of our officers
or men Of the talk 1 had had with the |
Russian sailor that night during the !.
anchor watch. I knew he would be elect /
ed to some Office by the mutineers, and |
believed he would intercede to save our |
berk from being despoiled. Therefore |
while others were much excited I was
so cool about II as to attract much at |
tention. |
Just at sunset the brig fired a gun for |
us TO heare to. There was an ugly
cross-sea running. and We doubted II
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09

DE odder night, in de club library.
hoard a member Of de club grievin'
because he wasn't a great man. 1t
am material huff dat we should all want
tn git ahead. 1t am not unreasonable
in any man to want to be on top OF de
heap. Preachers. poets. editors. an
lecturers all ineourage us to dig long
an strive to carve our names on de
cupalow of de temple of fame. An
Wit what boiler mockery fame am!
Oar was shakespeare. He had a toof-
ache same as a. common man. He
had his blue days. same as de poorest
white. De rain pored down on him
came as on Samuel Shin-he fell in de
mud. same as Elder Toots-his grocer
wanted cash. same as mine. Oar was
Ryron de poet. His name am as high
as de steeples. an yet his corns ached
same as Waydcwn Bebee's. butcher
carts run him down same as Trustee
Pullback. street kyar drivers rang de
hell on him. same a. on Sauar' Williams.
Oar was Queen 'IAzabeth. She had a
big place, heaps o walters and lots o.
cloze. but she had big feet. got bald
headed. an couldn't see any more Of
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
The Vain Peacock

One day as Traveller was Passing
along the Kings highway. a Peacock.
vain of her display of tail feathers rush
cd into sight and maze as fine spread
as possible.
Heavens but what a beautiful Bird
exclaimed the Traveller as he paused TO
gaze. Il have Travelled over half the
known world. and yet never before have
7 set my eyes on such beauty and pride.
] wonder if her owner will part with her
for 800 in Gold?'
The Peacock strutting back and forth.
proud Of the impression she had made.
wanted to make still greater hit. and
therefore she opened her mouth and at
tempted a song. At the first Shrek the
Traveller took to his heels and ran for
his life. and looking back after placing
himself in safety. exclaimed:
"A hundred dollars for such a
squawker as that, why. I'd kill her
with crowbar and replace her tail
feathers with huckleberry bushes If she
was my property"
MORAL:
Few of us lose anything by modest
silence.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
A On me of Logic.

Once upon time the Bug went to the
Lion and Indignantly complained that
the Elephant had been slandering him.
In what particular thing" asked the
Lion.
why he told tho Wild ASS that /
could not run ten miles in a day to save
my life, and that he was hundred
times bigger'n me-"
At that moment THE Elephant arrived.
having also determined to lay his case
before the Lion, and he exclaimed
II am glad to meet the Bug here. He
has slandered me, o, Lion, and | want
Justice
What is the slander?'' queried the
Lion.
so big and clumsy that l could not crawl
into a rathole.'
II see.' unused the Lion with half
closed eyes. There have been things
said here which should have been left
unsaid. but | think things can be man.
aged so that no one will suffer in rcpu-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09

! great lesson to you. You will be
Mrs Bowser." he interrupted as he
suddenly sat up: 81 see through 1t all
What do you mean?
Il thought it necessary. this morn
ing to give you a little advice. felt
It to he my duty as a husband. This
4 why. Mr.. Bowser"'
Don't Why Mr.. Bowser me. It's as
plain as that chair over there"
How could l rob You or tell any
Never you mind: I see it all: It's
let go of this camphor bottle and take
a seat in the other room. \ husband
will bear a great deal from the wom-
an he loves. but when crowded too
far he turns, at bay. have turned.
will have an understanding and you
can probably take the noon train for
your mothers in Buffalo. Robbed.
a pndndet Know s mT dui sss through 1t ALL
DO you think you will expire be.
fore ] go upstairs and return? asked
Mrs. Bowser
When she returned she had the
watch in one hand and the wallet in
the other, and as she held them out
she said:
Being afraid that l would rob you
in the night. you hid them under the
bureau and forgot them this morning.
It's a wonder that YOU didn't miss
them-you never mislay nor forget.
but here they are.
Bowser as he dropped the camphor
bottle on the floor and sat up.
oh | haven't taken any OF your
money or stolen any of the wheels OF
the watch"
He didn't beg her pardon. He sim
ply grunted and passed down the hall
and out of doors. Just outside the
gate he met n neighbor. who said:
"Good evening. MIR. Bowser. l be-
lieye ] made a fool of myself a few
minutes ago"
And I'm sure | did. was the lugubri-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09

not. however. know forty times as
much as his wife, would be considered
a stick of man. Did you go out this
morning?
was your bonnet taken off your
head"
''Lucky-very lucky; You are to be
congratulated l didn't
Mr.. Bowser; where's your watch?"
My watch. Mrs. Bowser-my watch
is-great Scott"
He dropped his hand to find the
chain. but IL was not there. He felt
for the watch, but il was gone.
she asked. as he stood with open
mouth and stared at her.
it, I've been robbed" he shouted as
he danced around.
1T can't be Feel in n your "nn pockets :snSss
WsisS my p Soa yHI
1 will tell you I've been robbed"
We'll don't take on so. Your wallet
is safe. isn't it, III.
hands up: watch and wallet both
You must have been robbed in some
Robbed: crowd? Robbed OF course
I've been robbed" he, shouted as he
pranced about. Get that internal cat
or the lounge s and ie aame Stand stay dow wp
Where's that camphor?'
She ran for the bottle as he Topped
down. and for the next three minutes
he had his nose in the opening.
You ought TO go to the police al
o" HG-eone. G-Sone. he gasped.
But how could you have been
Il dunno. Hold the bottle little
you are so careful. you know"
Yes"
You never mislay anything or for
get anything.
And never lose Anything. and have
so much worldly wisdom"
..nb nv head"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09

Togo is the southcrnmost island in the
cape de Verde group. situated in the
North Atlantic 1 was there in a bark
which had brought lumber, hardware.
agricultural implements and other stuff,
and on our arrival we found the brig
Ivan already at anchor. She was there,
If remember right. to see about a Rus
sian craft which had been wrecked in
that vicinity.
1t may not he news to tho average
reader to be told that the discipline in
the Russian army Is the Strictest in the
world. If anything can be more strict
il is the Russian navy. The commander
OF a Russian man-of-war on cruise has
more power than the Gar at home The
latter must at least have some excuse
to send a citizen to his death. The for
mer has only to report him dead and the
details arc never asked for.
Several of the crew on tho Ivan were
triCed I'M and hocEed in plain view of us
on the FIRST day of our arrival, hut ii
wasn't long before we learned that the
brig was q floating he'll. She had a vet
cram captain. hut most of her crew were
new 10 the service. They were fine
body OF men. but the captain was con-
stantly naSEinC at them ard seeking OPP
portunitieS TO intiict punishment. In one
day thirteen men We're logged or had
other forms of punishment melted out
TO them. Men We're logged because they
moved too fast or tso Slow-hecausn
it-beCause the captain thought that they
thought so and so. There We're several
among them who could speak English
and when We learned just how they
were being used We expressed our indig-
nation and encouraged them to resist
ance. 1t wasn't the right thing to do.
as admit but we were in the merchant
service and felt that We had certain
rights which no commander dared to
tramplo on.
One dark and rainy night. while 1 was
standing anchor watch on our craft. one
OF the Russian sailors swan Off to us
He was about thirty years of age. He
hce he held and given twenty-one lashes
to boot because he accidentally upset a
lamp. He had come Tor a talk. He knew
nothing whatever of geography, and
could not tell in which direction any
coast lay. He asked particularly about
people. the rivers. etc. lie finally told
me the crew of the brig to a man had
decided TO mutiny. kill the officers and
run the craft ashore and each man shift
for himself until the excitement had
blown over. l told him all he wanted
returned as he had come. He had not
told me when the uprising would take
place. There was an English man-of-
war in the harbor then. and of course no
movement could be made.
The days went by. There was the usual |
routine of fogging abroad the Ivan and
n sailor who sprang overheard rather
than be dashed was coolly shot down
alongside the brig without having even
ordered to return. At noon on the Sec
ond day the Englishman left. and at 8
O'Clock In the afternoon the mutiny sud |
denly burst forth. There were six mer-
chantmen In the harbor. but had the :
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-09
BOWSER'S SHOESTRLNG

There are two standard complaints
| that husband can urge against his
wife whenever he gets crouch on.
One is her extravaganza. and the
house.
Husbands the world over are more
husband could do it tenth as we'll
Even En- an I'D, old bachelor living alone is
complaint, and sometimes the Other
dramatic poses in either of them,
Mrs. Bowser is the guilty party.
The other morning. when he was
ten minutes late at the breakfast ia
Mrs. Bowser had learned to connect
with a row, and she was keeping very
quiet when he began:
Il would like to know IL this house
supposed to take care of itself?'
What do YOU mean?' she asked.
for a shoestring for the last half hour.
found"
II presume, not. presume the 200
pairs ! bought month ago have all
been chewed W, by the cat or sold to
house than ours in America I'd like
10 see it,
Why, Mr. Rowser. you only brought
two of them TO tie up your papers"
We'll. where is the other"
Il can't tell. We may have lost it
in the fall housecleaning."
Don't doubt il in the least. While
shoestri1E is not as big as piano
or as valuable as clock. the loss of
extravaganza truly discourag ing Have
you got a piece Of clothesline in the
house"
"Proha bly, not. Probably gone to
join the shoestrinE l must have
and 10 lie VIII nP my shoe N;.r With
stovepipe wire.
After breakfast. when ready to go
out. he said:
Mrs Bowser. hope you will take
this lesson to heart. Carelessness in
wife is very. very reprehensible
trait"
You are just as careless as I am"
NO ma'am. No ma'am. I never mis-
lay ANYTHING: forget anything, or lose
will go around the world with a pin
in my vest pocket and bring the same
one back with me. II you go out on
the street today you had better have
a policeman with you. II not you'll
cloak"
W men MIR. BoWSer cdme nome TO
dinner he entered the house with a
smile on his face and the doormat in
his hand and said:
Il found boy walking off with this
mat. Has any one taken the range
out of the kitchen? It's wonder to
me they haven't come in after the
carpets
That's mat the girl put out in the
barrel to be carried away" she ex-
planned.
oh, il is, More reckless extrava-
gance. l see. Mrs. Bowser. | want to