The Detroit times., 1915-12-11

tor of the Hamilton car that crashed in
to another Hamilton car on Grand River
ave., for having packed us in so tightly
that nobody was knocked to the floor and
no women had room to fall in faint.
A gasoline famine threatens, according
to an expert, unless the price of it goes
up. They seem never to forget to wish
our old friend John D. a merry Xmas.
A Mckinley school boy has submitted
short story effort which begins: The
sun was sinking in the west. just as 1t
did, we recall, when We went to school.
Police Commissioner Gillespie has gone
on another iunket to New York to study
traffic conditions. John, just possibly.
has undertaken the job of finding out
while junketing is good, why chicken
crosses the street.
A petition is being circulated Tor re-
turn to central standard time. Come 10
think of il, we haven't had change OF
time in pretty near six months.
r r SIS Il proper for bosrders at the
tahla tn discuss the age of the chicken!
From the talk last Sunday at our place you
would have thought the name OF the chicken
was Ann.-E. NJ. Z.
On the other hand, its name might
have been Hank.
Mrs. Louise Lindner. the accomplished
pianist showed herself an artist gem OF the
purest water Her technique seemed perfect
ovA a. he rit
ing him Of q winding brook. the water rip
ping over the myriad OF white pebbles.
while the sun In the dewy morn oserfiows
the whole vista with his sprays OF gold
iust dispensing the impish laughing, singing
and since early dawn, dancing fairies. while
rejecting all the colors Of the rainbow from
the tiny scales Of the thousands OF the willy
and basking minnows swimming nurTiediy
past the beholder, oblivious to his surround
ings-The Ocone (Wis) Reporter.
Put tn bait in tn middle Of tn boat
where we can get little of it, will va?
A New York man comes through with
an invention that will keep setting hen
fro, y p"t-put t"~' W. =
Preparedness.
Here comes the conductor, Willie.
Get down in the seat and remember that
you are only ur-and-a-half."
c. T. SIT is said that a people change
with the years. Are our own people grow
ing shorter or taller?-B. VI. g.
1t depends, B. NJ. S., upon the season.
The day after Xmas will find many of
us bit shorter.
We believe we have met at least one
Detroit man who isn't worrying about
where his Xmas money is coming from.
He was telling friend that he attended
only one ball game last summer, when
he walked out to the park and dropped
into the 25-cent bleachers to see a double
header.
Bones-"Mistah Intoloculah. what am
de difference between an oystah stew at
church sociable an summer"
lnterloculator-'I will have TO let vou
answer, Mr.. Bones"
Bones-"Well. sab, it takes noah dan
one swallow to make summer"
A New Yorker who possessc7 a fortune
of SIS, 100000 once drove a grocers wag-
on. he appears to have kept right on
delivering the goods.
Arthur f. Gordon says the board of
health is a joke and filled with a bunch
of ward heelers. Mr.. Gordon. himself. is
member of our board of estimates.
Zone kiss from Ada and / thought ]
was in heaven" wrote New York mar
to his prospective mother-in-law. Then
he married the girl and his pending di
vorce suit indicates that matters were
reversed.
A squirrel in Cincinnati that refused tc
eat has been pronounced insane. II does
seem to be clear case of off his nut
THE UNIQUE JOHN ID.
II observe" said the fiend. that Mr.. Rocke
feller says he owes much OF his success 10 golf