The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

My dear Fellow Citizcns-It is my GUS
tom before proceeding to the business OF
lh,. evening to take up a collection among
tho audience for tho benefit of some char
ilv. ON this occasion the subject is tho
individual who stands before you. | have
managed to get alOnc for the last three
DAYS on s. cents. hrt I can go no further.
While thcrc is no doubt that am worthy
ur all You can do for me. yct no one need
.rcl under obIcahDn 10 give. l will now
ra-.s around tho hat. and rs | move
among you am glad 10 observe that the
audience assembled here tonight is one
.,C The most cultivated | have seen for
months I will not he base enough TO
think that frey admission had anything
to do with it. You came to hear one of
the great questions of the day discussed
hv one Of the great orators of the CEN
tury. and had the price of tickets been
10 cents each I believe that one and all
would have cheerfully coughed up. do
not use the expression in a slang sense,
hut as a Latin phrase. l find that the
collections amount To % cents, and,
thanking YOU from the bottom OF my
heart and trusting that YOU may go out
Of here better men and women, / will
now begin:
My friends. I have IN my pocket the
ngures showing Just how many dlSthler,
i..s and hreweries there are in the nlted
states and just how much whisky ana
beer are made every twenly-lour nout
during the year. But why give them:
Why tell you that 1.00.OOO Of our pOpula-
ION go 10 he'd drunk every night IN inc
wear. and that the money spent for drink
every day would provide all the WIDOWS
with sralskin sacks and French hecled
shoes We all know those things. Let
ais hrciR with christopher Columbus, who
had rather more to do with America than
any man who has come after him; l
Civc his picture on tn" canvas You LOOK
puzzled and SURPRISED. You can make
il out You behold Christopher lying
drunk on the highway. with a jug on ono
side and a bog on the other. 1t Is fanCi-
ful picture. | want YOU to look at II
closely and keep it in Your minds; and
every day for years to come l want You
to ask Yourself what would have hap
pcncd. If Columbus had been that sort
" man. When Ferdinand and Isabella
had fitted him out for his voyage, sup
pose he had gone and got a three days
jag on and had rolled around in the mud
and hhad had three or four scraps with
other old buns Can YOU for an instant
believe that he would have been left in
command OF the expedition or that this
country would have been discovered for
the next fifty years? But there was no
hDOZinE. lie may have taken "A farewell
drink Of root beer or lemonade. as was
cmincntly proper but it ended right
there. and he became world famous as a
result. A whole hemisphere and millions
Of people owe him a debt of gratitude
and will remember his name forever be-
cause of his abstinence. The lesson
taught by the picture is plain to all. Get
drunk, and YOU will be sent to the island
for thirty days; remain sober, and you
will become famous
NV friends. let me give you the picture
Of George Washington as he was about
to cross the Delaware and gain a great
victory over the British. You observe
that George is lying drunk with his feet
on a chair while the patriot army waits
for him to take the lead. You murmur
and are aghast. You never heard that
the Father of His Country got jag on.
No more did he. I give you this picture
as an object lesson, and ask You where
this country would have been today had
George gone OF on hoopala at a crit