The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-12-03

"'Twas quite sthormy meetn' ivy tn eommis sion Choosday, be all accounts, remarked Mir. Dennessy.
 Yes" answered MT. Hooley ' tis sometime since it was. me pleasure to view such a dishplay iv verbal fireworks as was given be some iv our earnest eityzens an cityzenesses in their noble efforts in behalf iv our morals. As an innycent bysthander, I was pr-roud to be present at tn discussisn' an cussin5 iv Sunday movin picthures in Birming- ham, an to learn just why they were dhraggin us down to perdition. Bein much intherested in tn question, early betool meself to tn seat iv tn city government fr fear I'd miss some par-rt iv tn momentchus proceedin'. As watched tn approach iv tn vasth army iv definders iv our morals, swoop- in down on tn commission like tn char-rge iy tn Light Brigade l uncon- seiously hummed tn chune iv Hail, Hail. tn Gangs All Here" an picked out a route iv retr-reat in case if an outbreak iv axchooal hostilities, fir tho tn spirit iv battle was in tn air, tn spirit iv self-preservation was in tn majority in me system. But twas a noble sight Dennesy. tn advance, with tn plumes on tn ladies' hats wavin' in tn breeze tn fire iv determination in their eyes. an their whispered njunctons to one anither to 'kape VT powder dhry.' An tn men, Dennessy, they were tn martial lot. They impressed me with tn tho't that tn agitation in favor iv prepared ness was useless, f'r there was enough preparedness in that cr-rowd to lick tn wor-rld.
 Tn shar-rp command 'Char-rgeF was given be tn gineral i'll command, who is tn Prisident iv tn Society fir tn Elk posture iv Indacency, an tn fireworks began. Fr'm tn cannon's openin roar. so to spheak, l was all attention l learned that tn movin' picthure ma chane was tn pet invntion of tn old Bhoy himself an that 1t was pr-re- scented to man as a token iv esteem be tn invintor, that tn motion picthure thayters were tn favrite haunt iy sin. an that tn Sunday picthure show was tn mosth insidjoos an deadly evil in tn wor-rld today, an that tn city that permitted 'em was bound to go tn way iv Sodom, Gomorry an Montgom- cry. I tell ye, Dennessy, tears iv sha-ame an mortyfication sthreamed firm me eyes at me bhlindness in niver before seein' tn sinkhole in iniquity into which We were shlippn.' Before me minds eye came tn good old days iv tn Connecticut blue laws, whin a man could not kiss his own wife-nor his naybors ayther--on Sunday; whin to aven shmile, or to go f'r walk m tn afthernoon, or to call on his besth girl, or to read annything but tn Bible on tn Sabbath, was to incur tn dire IA fA1t ha nI r boasted phrogress was a myth, that insthead we, in permittin' this device iv Satan to flourish in our midsth, had retrograded. l felt that we were de- servin' iv tn repr-roach iv tn Wor-rld fir havin' departed firm tn good old custom iv our ancestors iv roastln to a tur-rn their naybors who were so foolish as to disagree with thim in matthers iv religion or politics. But tn thing that mosth impreshed me was tn zeal an arnestness " tn de- lenders iv tn right an tn youth iv tn land Why Dennessy, they w'd hear not a wor-rd iv opposition. an whin a poor, benighted, sin-cursed definder iv tn Sun day movie wd attimpt to spheak, he was promptly hissed down or was uninterrupted so of'en be tn noble champeens iv nor ality that he was compelled to subSide No, siree, these jealous guardeens iv ours w q not aven liSthen to wor-rd fir m tn minions iv Satan. Tn brilliance iv tn oc- cashun was enhanced by tn intherchange iv Christian amenities be tn speakers throughout tn meetin'. Niver but once have I heard more plasin comments than some iv tn remarks that were passed. an that was on the momentchus occashun whin Kid Killem licked Knockout Bruiser to sthandstill. whin Bruiser had been tn fav' orite in tn bettin.'"
 DO ye think asked Mir. Dennessy, that tn Sunday movies kape people fir m goin' to church?"
 q do not. If man wants to go to church, he'll go, but if he doesn't want to go, he won't We've heard tn old sayin', ye can lead horse to wather. but ye cant make him dhrink. so if ye were to foorce man to go to church ye cant compel him to be a Christian fir. alas tn days whin tn approved method iv Christia anizin folks. be tn aid iv tn rack an thumbsccrew, ar-re no more
 Put said Mir. Dennessy, "th' oppo- pents iv tn Sunday movies say that tn people go there f'r evil whin tn show is or Sunday"
 ''Yes. an' whin Bobby Fulton built his