davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
90 IT ALONE

The Rotary eiah 81 Manchester.
Enslaaa. rvceetiy save diaasr al
midday IL Harry Lauder. The cotne-
etap A Scottish meaa ~as served
In hts huaay. the hAFxss aGariag pfo'n5
neatly. Thu Cock o the North was
da,y playcd BY q piper aad ca the table
wcrv beer. wine and spsrs,s
Said Harry 60 his hosts
We, IA Ro'arsans. meet as hast
ness proposition In the middle % the
day. shea drink Is not necessary
You may take one. two or three aud
SO back TO business 'mutsS You
cant do your business II yea are In a
state Of 'mUaEircAs when you have
finished yea can drink as much as you
like hat 30 1; alone II you are Eoing
to hell. so by yourself. dont DRAG
anyone w5th you have gnRe ihto
clubs not often. thaGk God-snd
seca fellow eome tn whsn every
other place Mas closed lie was re
sardcd IA Jolly good fellow, and
ever bcdy clappcd him on the hack
and laughed MD his I-~spie at home
laugh -
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
PROHIBITION PROHIBITS.

Incidentally. one OF the Interesting
roults Of the prohibition sweep which
IS causing comment here is Indicated
by the New York stock market reports,
Gays Washington ID, c. correspond
sni About ten months ago the shares
81 the nistilleries Securities company
we're quoted around nineteen and
twenty and on Que occasion twenty
two. Then they tobogganed down to
fourteen. Calculated there short time.
and took other drops, until they were
quoted two and half and FIVE and q
half This 10 the lowest record ever
reached. and is credited to the fact
tina, many dlstilleries in the dry and
prospectiveiy dry states have gone
in,o voluntary liquidation, while In
Ohio and Illinois many brewery com
rAples have been placed in the hands
OF receivers
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
WAR AGAINST ALCOHOL.

Get on the water wagon" Is now
the slogan OF the New York health
department. It's head, Or Sigismund
$. GoldSater, says that anything
which affects the health Of the people
Of city Is a subject Of concern to
the health officials and IN accord.
ance with this view he has declared
war on liquor, 1t Ia nonsense" he
says. to 20 on fighting disease and
crime II We don't do something to Rbol'
ish tho chief factor in causatiou.
There are too many people sick from
liquor In New York city--that's enough
for me | want Il understood
that this ia 20 ba u real nght II Is
catory mention OF alcohol and its ro.
suits. We muEt have definite autial.
cohoi program, The work Of the
health Department In this field will
aud uuremi',ng Every means Of
publicity will be utilized IN this cam.
paign II viii DO spectacular and in
the ycrnacular. tho rich mans cham.
pasuo and highballs, az we'll as the
poor mans third rail" whisky and
beer, v!ll bo tho object Of attack.
For maaths tho New York state
board az health has been giving out
90 the press 81 the state. under the
tile 'Heslth Hints, strong state
meats concerning the Injurious effects
~ alcohol Therefore the action now
taken by the Now York city beard ~
rot a great sgrprise II il being warm
~ commented by members Of the
medical profession. and without doubt
hrAlth anlctAls Of other cities will FOL
lea the lead
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

nilly Sunday message 10 Chicago
IN the effect that Batter Voose has
three balls sua ;wn strikes called on
i,m prompted Chicago Tribune 20
ln,egvgew some ot the downtown 80.
lonakorperA THIS wha, one oldtimer
said
Three balls and two STRIKES isn't
putting IL strong caoagh The bats
hSlf swung on tho third strike now.
way over the hall You can 60 from
onr end Of the loop TO tho other and
crtescr0ss. and yoa wats fad single
saloon acrror making money. In soH1e'
where hetsrru thrcn ani hYe years
tbs towns eolnx TO BE- dry as Evan.
rca The women are goinr 10 do T..
and | don't much blame h~tu, rs
tne ~ufaea the thsGE'z hH. Who saf,
srrw ~hra good fr-o~ tnsking SIS
uoek. shows his sporting blood
hy spending soar az Ave ~ /: over
tho hAr oa ray day' Say, rs trar'
ety for that woman SO, what's she
rajug to DO Lust stop Il, pat her fo0s
aowa aud Der vote dowa Three balls
AMI lwo urtkcs, eh' Yoa can iast
call that thlra strike now
There's 90 aouht Atont Il, said
another. Chicago Is gn!ag dry. We
all Enow that. and 50 FAR as We are
concerned down here in The loop. Il
usKht as ~rli 10 ORR aow
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
neutrality-suspicious. Land Selling Company Cape Cdeau, Missouri
Fallacious Faericatiers.
Write for full inf

An old horse that lay sleeping In his
stall was rud.ly awakened by the
hired man, who labhod him with a
pttchiork
"Oh. no. ho!" said the horse. arising
stla'y Another days work ahead, |
suppose"
For once" said the hired hand.
who WAS a college graduate In dis.
guisc. your superstition is incorrect.
You will be permitted to remain in
your stall and rest Your master Is
dead. and his funeral will be held to-
day"
But am going To the funeral.
said the old horse.
why. for the love OF Mike" gruaiy
asked the hired man, should you go
when you may as well stay here and
TEST"
For 20 years. replied the aged
horse. 4 have been wanting 10 attend
my masters funeral. and now that the
opportunity is present, will not be
tsnied
Occasionally Il happens that all
those In the funeral train are not
there for the purpose OF shedding the
scaidlng tear Judge.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

In calling Oh the proper authorities
al this urnc tdr 4 report on thu cUGdi.
ton Of our army and navy. President
Wilson has broken one Of the Oldest
and best observed OF American prec.
ctepts lie is tFytas TO .asten tho
stable door before the horse is stolen.
instead Of waiting TIL sner~ard lie
Is making ready 90 meet trouble. even
while doing all that he hdnurahly can
20 aycid Il, instead OF hid!as behind a
curtain % pretty phrases and hoping
that everything will come out right
Sor 10 this all Secretary OF War
Garrison. ~ith the approval or perhaps
nj the direct order OF his chief. has
had tho war college busy for mon,hs
working ou; permanen; plan FOR ma.
iion&l aeicnso This plan. doubtless
With notifications suggested by the
reports nov coming IN from the mill
,Ary and naval chiefs. ~ill be laid be
fore congress at the opeaihg OF the
next session.
This IL Tough laek FOR the Rooso-
volts and Gusxygardnrrs sho have
bcea trying to make a partisan issue
Of the rational defense, and get into
power on tho cry ~ democratic IN.
preparedness HAT the coun;ry at
large alIi rejoice that the administra.
ttoa which had tho courage and wis.
dom 10 cut the Kratt out o! the tartS
and give the uattoa its FRS, rational
banking ard currency law II to under.
take the loh q bringing our navy up
to full strength and undermining our
land defense~ Chicago Journal
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Starting Trouble.

Why is it that the attendants in
telephone Offices are all women? Mrs
Brown made this inquiry of her hus-
band
Well. answered Mr. Brown, the
managers Of the telephone Offices are
aware that no class of attendants
work so faithfully as those who are
in love with their labor; and they
know that women would be fond OF
the work In telephone Offices.
What is the work in telephone
Office" Mrs Brown further inquired
Talking answered Mr. Brown
And that conversation came TO an
end and a different kind Of converse
ton began
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
WANTED IT DONE BY PR0XY
Youngsters ingenious Idea for cett No
Out Of Situation That Didn't
Please Him.

Jack disliked being kissed and, be.
ing a handsome little chap, sometimes
had a good deal TO put up with, One
day he had been kissed lot, Then,
to make matters worse on going TO
the picture palace in the evening, In.
stead of his fayorite cowboy and In
dian pictures there was nothing but a
lot more hugging and kissing
He returned home completely out Of
patience with the whole tribe o! WON
en-.
After he had rolled into bed mother
came in TO kiss him goodnight
He refused 10 be kissed
Mother begged and begged, til IN
disgust he turned TO his father. who
was standing at the doorway looking
on and said.
Daddy, for the love OF heaven, give
this woman a kiss!"
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
CHANGE NOT LIKELY
People viii Not Overthrow the
Democrats.
Party's Conduct OF Affairs Undoubt.
eddy Has Met With the Approba.
ton Of Large Majority
OF the Voters,


Senator James A. Reed of Missouri
stopped on in Washington for a day
on his way TO New York. lie said
that crop conditions In Missouri are
excellent with the exception Of corn,
and there has been too much rain for
that staple. The people are beginning
10 talk politics. he ayerTcd.
i attended number OF meetings"
said Senator Reed. and everywhere
! found the administration exceed
Ingly popular and the Democratic
party in excellent condition The
president has grown very popular
among the people Of all parties be-
cause they believe be is directing our
foreign affairs with rare patience and
wisdom We do not want war. but
wo do want the honor OF our nation
upheld with dignity. and that 10 what
the president is trying 10 do, lie has
an exceedingly difficult task.
One OF the most striking features
Of the political meetings | have AT.
tcnd"d lie the evident respect In which
the president ~ held One Is accus.
toned 10 hearing shouts aud hurrahs
AZ the mention of Roosevelt or Bryan.
but when the name Of Wilson ia spo.
Ken there appears 10 be disposition
among everybody to take OF his hat"
Ot Democratic prospects aeIt year
Senator Reed Was very optimistic.
II the var continues. there will be
nothing to II" said tho senator. and
Il 4 should end NC shall have such an
era Of prosperity that the people
would deem !; gnvise 10 make .
change w Washington Post
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
NAVE YOU NorIcEpi

did you ever notice" says an eH'
change. that when the booze inter
es,s want to put one over on the PEG
Pie they always work under an alias
Manufactures and Dealers assooia'
ton Is . fair sample. Also they al
WAYS clothe their proposition in high
sounding and pleasing name--a catchy
uame-such as Home Rule And did
Won ever notice how many ignora.
muses. fall for such q namef Isn't IL
strange that such 3 powerful interest
never presents a square front. but al
vays proceeds by eircumvention'
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Last Corn Land
Southeast Missouri Reclaimed Lands

the only remaining undcveoped corn land IN the United States
Land that will double triple and quaduTc in price just
day follows night Good land will IN the future
it has in the past and the prn, command the highest
price 900 Of good rich auyIa cu-ocr bottom land
both drained and undraind lo7e the Illinois prairie rich
the Valley Of the Nile rocks h- or umbo bat mellow
sandy loan SOIL always works well short mild winters, long
growing seasons abundant yields Of all staple crops corn wheat
alfalfa clover timothy peas, potao's Two crops year
OF Of the land Land owned by Observation-Disclosures
souri, largest land owners Southeast sou Men who have
in the last IS years sold 100000 Of this kind Of
land to over 900 different people, all Of whom have made good
They have orecosci purchasr taken back an acre
Of the property Sales from Februay first August 10TH
1864 acres to 10 different people Can YOU beat W In tracts
Of 40 acres up 10ro cash, 10 annug uaments with ~
interest Warranty Deed backed by 100000 assets
the payment of only l0 in cash. Can equal it? Come sec
land.
Write for full information and free map Address Dept A.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
DISTRESSING PIMPLES
Removed BY cutieura Soap and ONT
ment. Trial Free,

Smear them with the Ointment
cara Soap and hot water and continue
bathing for some minutes. Repeat on
rising and retiring These fragrant
supercrcAmy emollicnts do much for
the skin, and do IL quickly.
Sample each free by mail with Book
Address postcard, Cuticura. Dept ky.
Boston. Sold everywhere. ADV.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

In one Of the south western states
the courtroom ot the courthouse was
overlooking the cemetery. A negro
had just been sentenced for TWO years
The Judge, pilued at his apparent in
difference. remarked You don't
seem 70 mind your sentence
Bless you, Judge des plenty 90 en-
oyAh yondah would like to hah il.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Moncysacks tsterRly James, after
this please uneork all Of the bottles in
my presence. notice that when you
draw tho cork in the pantry the wine
is extremely decolete
James the butler ~~ Extremely
decollete. sir
Moneysacks--Yes. James. very low
In the neck.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Ia It true that only people with an
excess Of iron In their systems have
tendency TO freckles7' asked the
summer ctrl Of her father
don't believe il is. replied Dad
That young char who goes bathing
WITH you has an excess Of brass, and
be ; got TreCklys
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

1t was street beggar who made
me feel my insigniHcanCe, said for.
mer United States Senator Chauncey
VI pepew. and be did It in gracious
way. VAS a trtfe out Of sorts when
| said TO him, You cant hold me up.
Not even as a good example be
replied. lifting his hat Youth 5
Companion
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Thlnklno Versus raiklne

Il Is no, a bad sign that Secretary
lansing shows. like President Wilson.
a disposition to think things out alone
before talking about them. Success.
full government by the people depends
quite as much on thinking as on talk.
Ing. Springfield Republican.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

my husband has found a way by
which he says ! am Of the greatest
help 10 him In hts literary work"
How nice that must be for you
my dear But how are you able to
do n.y.
AS soon as ! see him at his desk
so into another room and keep
perfectly quiet until he has I'M
tshed
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Going Up

What is the reason ice is so high
this summer inquired the lady Of
the house
Its like this" said the iceman
Tile early part Of the summer was
so cool that there wasn't much de
mand for ice. so We had 10 raise the
price so We could make Il living
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Cheap

That is a story about elephants be
ing used IN some Of those European
battles
How DO you know"
Elephants are far too valuable 10
risk getting them killed"
oh, that's the reason they use men,
eh9"
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
TO Drive Out Malaria
And Build Tn The system

TaKe the Old Standard GROVE ;
] ApTELESS chill TONIC lou KNOW
ahat YOU are taxing. as the formula IS
r.luted on every label, showing 1t IS
qaluiue and Iron 10 a tsstelesS form The
Qnlnine drives cut malaria, the iron
builds up the system. 50 cents Adv
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

The tact that man is duwncast
doesn't necessarily mean that he is
In trouble. II may be that he has
caught sight of himself in that mir
rur
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Proof Positive

Diggs--Mrs Biggs is unusually kinC
10 her husband
Mrs DigEs-How do you know
Iiegs-He tells me she never sings
when he is at home.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Jim Mann says he 10 9 farmer ana
We suppose we must take his word
for q. but how many Of the congress
sional seeds he has planted In 20 years
have ever sproutedf-Houston Post
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

I understand they sentenced him
TO life Imprisonment"
Well. no. ii wasn't as bad at that
He got only ninety nine years." -
Puck
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

\ man has 81 few distinctions that
IL he has had tooth pulled without
taking anyth.Dg TO deadeu the pain he
considers IL one.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Russia has been making plans for
the construction Of great stcrehouses
Tor grain at many points.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

by means of q secret process a
French scientist converts flowers,
fruit and even animal tissues into
metal.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Spirituahsts will tell YOU We come
back from the dead At any rate,
many a family skeleton has come to
1ffe
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Being restrained by law from whip
ping his wife. about the only amuse-
ment a married man has is kicking
his dog
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

About the only man who can afford
70 believe everything he hears is the
maa who is stone deaf
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

1t is better 10 90 slow than to ex-
coed the speed limit and acquire
punCture.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

What married men can't understand
is the fact that most bachelors are un.
able to appreciate their freedom.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

When a man is beaten he admits il
but II is different with a woman.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

The man who Judges his future by
his past is apt to become discouraged
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Many a straight man goes on a ben
der when luck is against him.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19
Suburban Quiet.

Kuicker--Did they have sleeping
porch?
Bocker-Yes, the darned thing
snored
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

First love breaks hearts and second
love mends them.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Many people are either rich or hap
by. but few are both
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Even a sensible man likes taste of
fattery occasionally.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1915-08-19

Some mems ideas OF progress is TO
stand and watch others so backward.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1915-03-07
GERMANY SEEKS
AID OF WILSON
Ottoman Forces Have Made Extensive
Preparations for Defense OF
Turkish Capital

WASHINGTON, March 6.-Ger-
many has asked tho United States 20
care for its diplomatic interests In
Constantiuople should the allied
forces occupy the capital Of Turkey
Ambassador M0rgcuthau has been
instructed to assume that duty when
The German minister 10 Turkey leaves
with the ottoman government for
EsEich-ir, the newly-sclected tempo
rary capital for the porte.
There is every indication nom the
vTg.sl dispatches received here, both
atHhe Turkish embassy and the Wash
lustou government that the Ottoman
forces have made extensive prepara-
uons 90 defend all approaches TO Con-
stan,inOple.
Removal Of the government will in
no way affect the intention of the mil
ltary 90 make every resistance against
the invaders
Reports of O contemplated evacua-
tIon Of Constantinople are not men
toned In any official dispatches.
Ambassador M0rgeuthau Is arrang-
ing a neutral zone for foreigners
should the lighting touch the capital.
lic viii remain In Coustantnople and
one NJ the embassy secretaries will ac-
company the Ottoman government.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1915-03-07
WILSON TO SEND
OUT INQUIRY NOTE
How De, laratiun Of Embargo Will BE
EnfOCrcd l. Subject Of Con-
Germ To [. :.

WASHINGTON. Marnh s.-Presi-
dent Wilson and Secretary Bryan had
under consideration today note of
inquiry to Great Britain and France
asking how the declaration Of an en-
barge by tho allies on the commercial
Intercourse between Grmauy and
neutral countries was to be carried
out In actual practice.
SO numerous have been inquiries
from American shippers and export
ers as 20 what would be the legal
status Of ships and cargoes if detained
by British or French cruisers and
taken into port, that the United States
government has prepared a general
inquiry on the subject to be addressed
% Great Britain and France. Up 70
late today the inquiry had not been
sent
IL was expected the American gov
ernment would ask Great Britain and
France for an explanation OF their re-
cent notes, since President Wilson has
spoken Of the rather general and
vague policy announced in those com
municauOns and the necessity for dis
covering how the principles expressed
would actually be enforced.
As yet no reply has been received
from Great Britain TO American pro-
pOsals for the abandonment Of sub
marine warfare, the removal Of mines
and the shipment Of foodstuffs and
conditional Contraband 70 Germany
under supervision that would guaran-
tee their distribution to the civilian
population only.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1915-03-07
MURDER THEORY
NOT BORNE OUT
Tom Wilkinson Came 10
Death at His Own
Hands Thursday.

Tom wilkinson. who lived -n
miles east of TULSA killed himself
This was the decision reached by
County Attorney EI Grassland yes
ts-day afternoon after he had made
raoro-1h investigation " the .,r-
.lmstanr-s surrounding tae death Of
Wilkinson. wilkinson was found dead
IN his home seven miles east ot Tulsa
Thursday night His skull was shat
tered ry d. discharge from O shotgun.
When found the gun was resting In
the dead mans Clutshed hands the
m.zz.- pointing toward his head
Following au autopsy, physicians
decided that fle fatal shot must have
been fired ly a second person How
ever. this theory was d.spelled after
a suspect had been arrested and held
lr fat. for several hours The man
held charged with killing wilkinson
asserted a.- innocence and explained
tn the authorities how Wilkinson
killed himself
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1915-03-07
.LIGON MADE "GOAT"
BY RAH RAH CHUM
Commodore James Of Mis-
sissippi Is Arrested i'll
Oklahoma City.

Special 10 The World.
SAPULPA, March 6.-Commodorc
James Of Meridian, Miss, was brought
back from Oklahoma City this after
noon after prcsuming once too often
on q college friendship and singing
Nat Lyon, probate attorney, for $50
on a draft endorsed by Nat last week.
Commodore was an exceedingly
fresh freshman when Nat was I'm col
lege in Mississippi and later after
after marrying the daughter Of a rich
man forged his father-in-law's name
10 lot Of checks and came near
going To the pen.
For the past few months he has
been travelling around oklahoma, llV-
ing at Tulsa, MuskOgee and oklahoma
CITY. where he and his present wife
lived at the best hotels and spent
money freely, He told Nat a number
Of different stories about his business
out here. one of them being that he
was working for the interior depart
ment in connection with the Missis-
sippi Fhoctaw claimants, and another
time that he was investing money for
his father-in-law.
Whether or not his operations are
pll Of the character that cost Ligon
f6j will likely he known after he is
behind the bars a few days.
The charge on which Lyon had
him arrested in Oklahoma City - OBJ
tanning money under false pretenses,
the draft carrying the new provision
Of the law by which the signer de-
clares that he has funds I'm the bank
with which to meet the draft
This is the second time Lyon has
been stung By friends from Missis-
Hppi,