The broad ax., 1915-06-12

SCOT he stumbled over another ana
came down on the hard bottom Of the
cellar and rolled. over on his back
"Woman, see how It isr' he yelled
out in his first surprise, but the words
were hardly uttered before he got up
and rubbed his knees and elbows ana
the back OF his head and whispered to
himself:
ITS all right-all right intended
to take the joints apart anyhow, and
this has saved me a lot OF trouble. IL
would have taken a stove man just two
weeks to do what have done In tep
minutes. It's wonder the old lady
isn't down here to ask II there has
been an earthquake"
Mr.. Bowser cautiously picked up each
Joint Of the pipe and played tattoo
on II with hammer. That's the prop
er way to clean 'em, and he did as well
as a stove man could have done. When
a smoke pipe has been taken apart II
must be put together again to be made
useful. Fully realizing this fact, Mr..
Bowser began work. he picked up
two Joints and fitted them together
No, he didn't To his surprise, they
wouldn't fit They were made to at.
had fitted and ought by natural philos-
ophy to ft again, but he turned them
over and over and over and end for
| end and failed to make go or It lie
suddenly made a discovery.
'1One wants pounding out and the
other pounding in," he chuckled as he
reached for his hammer. Il don't
4 claim to be the smartest man in Amer
ica, but IL l can't put two joints OF
pipe together
He couldn't. The hammering had not
improved them he took two other
FONTS, but they were just as obstinate.
All of a sudden Mr.. BOwser got mad
and jumped for the Ak, but his feet
slipped In the SCOT, and he went down
and saw millions of stars as the back
| of his head whacked the cement
"Some one shall suffer for this" he
said as he finally sat up, and he was
on the point Of going upstairs and
bringing Mrs. BOwser's perfdious con-
duct home to her when the resolution
came TO have one more trial. Only
an hour before he had read In his
newspaper the saying what man has
done can be done again." and he pick
ed up all the joints, stood them on
end I'm a row and surveyed them In a
critical way. None were missing. The
end Of each and every joint had been
made to ft into another. All he had
to do was to exercise patience and
press and squeeze and tap with the
hammer. Mr. BowseT pressed BE
also squeezed He likewise tapped.
He was Just on the point OF success
when the joints fell apart and banged
around over his feet and rolled away.
With a wild warwhoop he grabbed the
ak and began to pound and batter and
destroy, but as he raised the weapon
for a fell swOop it hit the ceiling and
rebounded on his head, and Mr.. Bow
ser knew no more for ten minutes.
Then he realized that Mrs. Bowser and
the cook were bending over him with
camphor, brandy. porous plasters, ia
maica ginger. ammonia, porous stick
ing salve, and In a PARKWAY voice he
heard the cook saying:
els 1t a naygur, Mrs. Bowser, who
was sent up here TO clean the pipe.
and II so why didn't see himr'
mo; it's Mr.. BOwser himself. BE
wanted to save 500 and have the ben
eft Of the physical exercise besides,
and guess he's done it! While you
are going for the doctor you'd better
stop four or five men and ask 'em to
come In and help get him upstairs,
and you can stop at the grocery and
order six bars of soap sent down at
once"
woman began Mr.. BOwser, but
then the lights went out, and he could
not finish by announcing that his law
yer would see her lawyer in the morn.
ing.
Mr.. Bowser was brought to life that
evening by the elatter Of the doctor
a policeman and three or four othel
men on the cellar stairs. They gather
ed around him and looked from him tC
the smoke pipe and burst into a roar
Of laughter.
as he coloredT' asked the policeman
Of the doctor.
~why. this is Mr.. BowserP exclaim
ed Mrs. Bowser.
"And beggin' your pardon, ma'am
what has he been dom to himselfr
why, he has been getting some
physical exercise and saving 500 II
cash"
II should say" dryly remarked the
doctor, that he has had a circus herr
all by himself and played the clown t
? IT the same as usual"
With that the gang gave another roal
and passed upstairs and went out Of
the house, and Mrs. Bowser turned e
the clown" and solicitiously asked:
'-shall help you upstairs, dearr
his grunt and his glare in reply gave
hera chill. and she stepped back while
| he managed to draw himself up and
? reach the stairs. He paused In tn
kitchen long enough to pick up thre'
| bars Of laundry soap, and after he had
| -