davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
lCopyrsht 1913. Mcclure Newspaper syndicats)
LITTLE IMPORTANT THINGS.

The store was on fire. The fire de-
partment had left card in the of
fice. locating the nearest alarm box;
but somebody had mislsid the card or
thrown 1t into the waste basket. No
body knew where the nearest fire
alarm box was. and fifteen minutes
of time was wasted hunting for 1t.
A telegram arrived at ten o'clock
requesting the head of the firm to be
in another city on the morrow. At
1880 o'clock a limited train left the
city. arriving at its destination at two
o'clock the next afternoon. The next
train was not due to arrive until after
the close of business. The telephone
was out OF order. and there wasn't
a time table in the office. When one
was procured, the 10:30 limited had
departed.
There were half a dozen rugs
upon the parlor fioor, and no water
close by. The wife's dress caught
fire from a lighted match. Her hus-
band ran for water. instead of wrap
ping one of the rugs about her. She is
SCARED for life. The husband. like
AAAAAI4o Vi ONhCAo, dldD hnOM Mhat
to do.
One of the woman clerks in the
office fell in a faint Her compan-
ions lifted her from the floor and
supported her head, instead of laying
her down with her feet slightly ele-
waited. 1t was some time before she
recovered consciousness. How few
people know what to do in similar en-
ergencies
Johnnie mad sore throat Mother
thought it might be serious, but grand
mother differed from her. They bound
1t in liniment and applied other home
remedies. instead of sending for the
doctor. 1t was diphtheria, but the doc
tor was not called in until a few hours
before Johnnie died.
Thousands upon thousands of peo-
pie have neglected the symptoms and
invited the disease, instead of placing
themselves in the hands of reputa-
ble physician.
When in doubt. call the doctor
Don't take chances with yourself
Miss Smith was stenographer. She
didn't know how to spell a certain
Noiu, anu Sue inquired Oh dozen
fellow-clerks, none of whom could
spell 1t. The dictionary was within
half an arms length from her all
the time. About one-tenth of l per
cent of us realize that the dictionary
will answer about nine-tenths of all
everyday questions. and we fail to
consult il.
IL man treated his machine as he
treats his stomach, the machine would
be out oil order most of the time. He
enters restaurant, orders dish,
does not like the taste OF it, thinks
II may not be fresh, but eats 1t, and
ptomaine poisoning keeps him in bed
for week or more. He would not
treat his engine that way, but then
an engine isn't human and must be
cared for.
How many of those who work are
thoughtful enough have an extra
pair OF stockings and shoes, or even
another suit of clothes, in the office
in case a sudden storm drenches
them?
If you haven't any common sense,
go out and get some. even II you have
to pay for it. Common sense is worth
more than doll@rs. and double dis
counts money in any market
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

line, or any other heavy rope. tie
them 20 the upper crossed ends of the
poles, and run them down and tie to
stakes driven into the ground halfway
between the poles, as shown in Fig. 2.
Figure 1 shows the framework GOV
cred with odd-sized pieces of cloth
The torpedo-shaped shelter tent
shown in Fig. 3 is new form that
have devised for you boys. Four bar
rel hoops and eight two-foot stakes
iSre needed for its framework. and
enough cloth to cover this.
Open the barrel hoops where their
ends are Joined, and nail each end of
each hoop to one of the stakes. Then
drive into the ground the other end
of each stake OF the frames thus
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Tried Both,

The Widow-If you married again
suppose you would want a woman of
intellect.
The Widower-Yes. but just about
medium.
The Widower-Mcdium?
The Widower-Yes. My first wife
was a strong-minded woman and ny
second was a weak-minded woman and
ones about as bad as t'other.-Judge.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
If You Need a Medicine
You Should Have the Best

Although there are hundreds of prepa-
rations advertised. there is only one that
really stands out pre-eminent as a rem
sdy for diseases of the kidneys. liver and
bladder
DR., kilmer's swamp Root Is not recon-
mended for everything
A sworn certificate OF purity is with ev-
cry bottle. You may receive sample
size bottle OF Swamp-Root by Parcel
Post Address DIR. kIlmer & Co. Bing-
hamton, N. Y. and enclose ten cents
For sale at all drug stores in bottles OF
two sizes-5oc and sL0o. also mention this
paper-Adv.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
4 DOLLS TEETER, MERRY-GO
ROUND AND FERRIS WHEEL.

The teeter Gig. u requires stick
"a or 80 inches long and two inches
wide, for the teeter board "a. Fig. %.
two short sticks for supports (B. Fig.
ID, spool bearing for the top of each
upright tC). and berry box for each
end of the teeter board.
Locate the center of the length OF
stick A. upon each edge. and then
drive a nail into both edges at this
point Cd, Fig. p. Drive uprights B
into the ground three inches apart.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
The Kind You Have Always Bought.

public
has been anusued under the Chas Fletche for
red
engaged
selling
be
child II
mo wa III xxZTHx-l-
signature ofCzA<zXZZ<<<<<
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
That's Different.

when we want to say something
that we don't dare say in English. We
use French"
And when the French want to say
something they don't dare say in
French"
"Ah. you could make your fortune in
Paris II you could only discover that
something"
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Careful piaunosis.

We'll, did you succeed with your
first diagnosis? Did you profit by my
advice?"
The Young Doctor-I think ! did,
sir. | told the patient that he was
suffering from combination Of liver,
stamach, heart, lung and brain trouble.
Old Practitioner-Good No chance
of mistake there.-Stray Stories.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Speaking From Experienced.

PA. what is the first line of de-
fense'?"
THAT depends on the circumstances.
son. II this country were at war, the
first line Of defense would be the navy
When a mans married, it's usually the
telephone line, by which he tries to
square himself before he comes home"
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Win a Fine Outlook,

Il engaged the rooms for my holi
day" he said. because the landlady
wrote me that they overlooked al.
perb garden OF 200 acres. richly
adorned with statuary. where was at
liberty to promenade.
"Well?" Jones inquired.
1T was cemetery" he said. bit
erly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Acting in One Lesson.

DO you think could learn to be a
moying-picture actor?"
Sure you could. Just remember
this one thing: A heaving chest de-
notes surprise. fear. hate or any other
emotion. louisville Courier-Journal.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Politeness is like an air cushion
there may be nothing in it. but 1t eases
many q hard jolt.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Stretched Out.

What is your dachshund's name?''
Il call him Art"
"An appropriate name. Art is long
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

The girl who doesn't use slang may
be more attractive@than the one who
does, but she is less numerous
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

A man plays golf because he likes
to sport. A woman plays golf because
it is a proper thing to do.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

the man who wants to sell you his
dog finally will give him to you.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

There are all kinds of chumps, in
cluding the one who has a ship tat
tooed on his arm.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

leading as the one to the effect that
women suffer in silence.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
ReQrets.

For all we know. the gaudy butter
fiy may have moments in which 1t re.
grets the fine times 1t had as a cater
piliar.-Puck.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

One of the compensations of life is
that man can't study himself through
microscope.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

display in shop window But man
never 5oes.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Instead of waiting for a rich uncle
TO die go and take lessons of the in.
dustrious ant.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Paw still on the lob.

Little Lemuel-What's a bookworm.
paw?
Paw-It's worm that would rather
digest book by eating it than by read.
ing It.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Labor is the foundation of many a
big fortune-but not necessarily of the
laborers.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Graduating by Post.

Dad, what's a postgraduate?"
"A fellow who emerges from a cor
respondence school, imagine
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

1t may be true that marriage is
failure. But so. for that matter. is
remaining unmarried.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

The practice of combing the long
hair over the bald spot never fooled
anybody
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

The rule in politics is that the side
that owns the steam roller use IT,
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Other people may have good taste
but, of course, yours Is a little better
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Don't be misled Ask for Red Cross
Bag Blue. Makes beautiful white clothes.
At all good grocers. Adv.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Motto for lawyer: II Will" Mot
to for fruit preserver: II can"
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

1t is easy to get around anyone you
can manage to see through
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
His Error
A Rrlluion With Kim

what is your fathers religion"
Golf, ! guess. It's the only thing
he does on Sundays
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
Good Reason.

First Motorist-T This Is terrible
heat.
Second Motorist-But you must re-
member we have been scorching.
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

The Advantage.
I'VE want the bald facts in the
case"
Then we can't split hairs over it."
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15

Everything is becoming to the noble,
The Elbert County tribune., 1915-10-15
FOR BACKYARD CAMPING.


Copyright. by A Nicely
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
PROPER ACKNOWLEDGMENT

"HE proposal to invite eX-Presi-
dents Taft and Roosevelt to be
! the special guests of the United
States government at the cere-
monies attendant upon the official
opening of the Panama canal and to
place a battleship at the disposal of
each for the trip to and from the
Isthmus, if carried out, would constitute
a very proper and gracious acknowl-
edgmcnt of the services of these two
men in the construction of the great
waterway. Both rendered invaluable
aid in solving the problems that arose
and in putting the work through in
record breaking time. The nation can
well AFFORD to show it's gratitude in the
way Suggested.
Possibly it is just as we'll, however.
that a ship apiece be provided, and we
suppose the Navy Department will
keep them far enough apart to insure
against any chance violations of neu-
trality.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
WHAT NEURASTHENIA IS

Neurasthenia is a condition of eX-
haustion of the nervous system. The
causes are varied. Continuous work,
mental or physical, without proper
vacation periods. without proper at
tention to diet and exercise. also wor-
ry over the struggle for success, are
the most common causes. EXcesses of
almost any kind may produce it.
Some diseases, like the grip, will cause
neurasthenia. So also will a severe
shock, intense anxiety or grief
The symptoms are over-sensitive-
ness, irritability, a disposition to wor-
ry over trifies, headaches, possibly
nausea.
The treatment is one of nutrition of
the nerve cells, requiring a non-alco-
holic/ tonic. AS the nerves get their
nourishment from the blood the treat
ment must be directed toward building
up the blood. DR.. Williams Pink Pills
act directly on the blood and with
proper regulation of the diet have
proved of the greatest benefit in many
cases of neurasthenia. A tendency to
anemia, or bloodlessness, shown by
most neurasthenic patients, is also
corrected by these tonic pills. Your
own druggist sells DR.. Williams Pink
Pills.
Two useful books Diseases of the
Nervous System" and What to Eat
and How to Eat" will be sent free by
the DR.. williams Medicine CO., Schen-
eetady, n. Y. If you mention this pa
er-Advertisement.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
NEW YoRK's BACCHANALIAN

~ NE of the larger New York ho-
tells reports that thousands of
- dollars worth of jewels and
cash were found on the floor
and tables of the dining and grill
rooms on New Years morning after
the annual revel.
What must have been the condition
of the women who dropped the dia-
monds? About the same. We sup
pose, as that of the men who left their
money on the tables.
AS a nation, We should be especially
thankful for cities like SLOW old
Philadelphia" and slower Harrisburg.
where the greeting to the new year
does not sink to the low level of a
Bacchanalian orgy. Here the crowds,
full of jollity and goodfellowship,
greet the year in that old-fashioned
manner where the ringing of bells and
the blowing of horns is the accepted
methods rather than the clnking of
champagne glasses and the swilling of
wine.
Just why New York believes it is
necessary to end one year and begin a
new to the vile hilarity of the ordinary
Metropolitan cabaret is more than any
sane provincial can grasp.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
ENoLA TEN YEARS OLD

TNOLA is to celebrate the tenth
- anniversary of the opening of
- the big railroad yards at that
point on Friday of this week.
The town has much over which to re-
ioice on such an occasion. Little more
than a decade ago where Enola now
stands the peaceful farmhouse was
the only sign of habitation and only
an occasional freight train broke the
silence that brooded over the country
side. There was no sign nor thought
of the great, bustling railroad yards of
to-day nor of the thriving. prosperous,
progressive town that adds so mater
tally to the population and the COM
mercial importance of Cumberland
county.
But while young in years, Enola is
old in accomplishment. Few COM
munities anywhere in the State can
boast of so much done in so short a
space of time. 1t has up-to-date stores,
enterprising churches, first class
schools, a water, sewer and street
lighting system, an active Y. NJ. c. A.
and all of the accessories and embel-
ishments of an up-to-date town.
When it is considered that all this
has been brought about in the short
that Enola is not without ample rea-
son for celebrating its tenth anniver-
sary.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13

one term plank in the Baltimore plat
form on which DR.. Wilson stood when
he was elected. the Democratic party
will renominate him.
1t is all very simple. There Is not
another man in the Democracy who
could be nominated. To reject Wilson
would be tantamount to confessing
tration had been a failure in the eyes
of the party leaders, which in turn
would be tantimount to confessing
that the Democratic party is not capa-
BILE of successfully governing, even un-
der the most favorable conditions.
Republicans will continue to hope
that nothing will interfere with Will
sons denomination program. The
President and Democracy are one and
the same. Democracy is on the down
grade in public opinion and there is
more and more evidence thatthe voters
believe the President to be incapable of
measuring up to the practical require
ments of the White House Job. No
body questions his sincerity, but there
is general distrust of his policies and
lack of faith in his theories. The re-
nomination of Wilson will spell GER
tain defeat of the Democratic party.
The Democrats are in a distressing
ly painful position. They cannot
swap horses in the middle of the
stream and stand no show of reach
ing dry land with their present steed.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
ACCOUNTS IN ORDER

THERE ought not to be any great
delay in auditing the accounts of
= Dauphin county this year. Coun-
ty Controller Henry w. Coughs
annual report to the court to-day is so
comprehensive, concise and clear in
all of its details that there would seem
to be very little left for the auditors
to do.
Mr.. Coughs report is made in ac-
cordance with State law. It embraces
the receipts and expenditures in detail
and classified, together with a full
statement of the financial condition of
the county for the year ending Janu-
airy 4, 1915. 1t shows just how much
money the county had to spend last
year and where every penny of it went.
The report brings out the very inter-
esting fact il the county just now
wished to wipe out it's entire net bond
ed debt it could pay off all but about
100000 of it from the balance in the
treasury alone. The net bonded in
debtedness is S167,977.4S; the cash
amounts to $137,456.S5.
other interesting items are the fact
that the county has a thousand dol
lars more of a cash balance this year
than last year, that it has redeemed
$4,000 worth or its bonds; set aside
more than $4,000 in its sinking
funds; paid $4,000 for the construction
of its share of the State road in South
Hanover township; nearly $1,000 for
the erection OF a new bridge at Mil
lersburg and more than $4,000 for a
concrete viaduct across the Swatara
at Middletown.
Mr.. Cough would appear to be right
in his belief that the county was never
IN better shape financially than now.
incidentally, this condition is in large
part due, no doubt, to the careful sun
ervision of all expenditures through
the Office of the controller. This new
roff1ce seems to have amply justified its
creation.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
THE REEL OF LIFE
BY Berton Braley

Time was man had need to go
And travel far and patiently
To glimpse strange scenes in Borneo
Or Syria or Araby.
Upon the spot he had to be
Where foreign lands their sight reveal,
But now-they're brought for him to
see
He'll find them on the movie reel.
The book that used to make you glow
With fear and doubt and hone and
glee,
The fairy tales you used to know
And listen to at Mothers knee,
The tales of old mythology
or gods and men. OF woe and veal
They live again for you and me,
Well find them on the movie reel
The whole world furnishes our show
A swift and throbbing history
OF folk that hurry to and fro
OF comedy and tragedy,
Love: hate and war-the pictures
They make their quick and sure ap-
peal.
Life, life itself. keen. vibrant, free
You'll find it on the movie reel.
Envoy
Only the future has no KEY,
No glimmer of 1t ma" we steal
And yet in time. who knows but we
Shall find ton the movie reeln
-Photoplay Magazine for February.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
TRADE EXTENSION TRIP

THE Chamber of Commerce could
devise no better way to adver-
= tise Harrisburg in the cities and
towns of the surrounding terri
tory than by the trade extension and
get-acquainted trip proposed for next
month. Those who were fortunate
enough to participate in last years
little journey of the kind will testify to
the benefits and enjoyments they de-
rived therefrom.
We suspect that Lancaster, York,
Lebanon and Columbia people think
just a little better of Harrisburg as a
result of last summers visitation and
it is certain that the Harrisburg party
acquired information about those
towns and their people they could not
have learned in any other way. Per-
sonaI acquaintanceship is at the very
foundation of trade extension and
there is no better way of making new
friends than during such trip.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
TILL EVENING TIME

Light of the Years!
The way is all unknown
Make plain my path to me,
Give me a faith serene
The end / cannot see!
Deepen my trust! Brighten my hope!
Ere comes the evening time
o Light of the Years.
Light of the Years!
Give me a work to do
A life in service SPENT
If mine but humble part.
Give me a soul content!
Sweeten my heart Dispel my pride!
Ere comes the evening time
o Light of the Years!
Light of the Years,
Give me a vision clear
To sec and know the right!
4 courage that is strong
To do it with my might!
Quicken my powers, Enlarge my mind!
Ere comes the evening time
o Light of the Years!
Light of the Years!
In midst of I.ifes hard fight,
And it's strife and stress,
When burdened oft with care,
Thy presence soothes distress
Strengthens my soul and nerves my
will
To toll till evening time
o Light of the Years!
Joseph Henry Ayers in The Christian
Herald
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13

"HE Harrisburg Chamber of Com
merce could not have conceived
= a more appropriate Trademarks
for this city than Harrisburg,
the Heart of Distribution.
1t tells the story in a nutshell. That
is exactly what this city is-a heart
of distribution. This becomes more
and more evident every day. Manu-
factories are all very well and we need
more of them and shall continue our
efforts to increase the number that call
Harrisburg home, but our future is
distinctly and pre-eminently that or a
transfer and distribution center.
This city is the hub of the Penn
svIvania Railroad east, west north and
south: the Cumberland Valley south
at still another angle, the Reading
system to the hard coal regions, east
and south TO tap Virginia, West Nir-
uinia and Southwestern Pennsylvania.
According to the United States Census
Bureau, within a radius of fifty miles
roundabout Harrisburg, $4,000 peo-
pie reside; within 100 miles, 6,294 900;
zoo miles. 2O.1OO,0 900; 800 miles, 27,-
6s4,4OO; 400 miles, Sc, ,SO6,O goo, and 500
miles 4S,592.o00.
Thus, it may be seen that Harris
burg has not only the central location,
hut it has the railroads and the popu-
lation. These together afford the big
shipper opportunities for quick de-
liveries TO distant points possible at
only a very few points in the entire
country. 1t has been a realization Of
these facts that has brought to this
city all of the big warehouses and dis
tributing agencies that employ so
many hundred men and which will
make the Harrisburg of the future
double the population of the city of to-
day.
But we must continue to advertise.
Not all of the big manufacturers are
so keenly alive to the advantages of
Harrisburg as are those who have To-
Gated here. They must be informed
and we must be the agencies whereby
that information is kept before them.
The Chamber of Commerce suggestion
that the Heart of Distribution" label
be placed on all business stationery is
a good one.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-01-13
AT THE MOVIES
BY Wing Din er

If it were not for heart weakness.
BY iove, the scribe who writes
The moving picture plays would sit
Up very late at nights
To find a way to get rid of
A character or two,
But with the weak-heart stuff he does
Just as he wants to do.
AS films speed onward it would seem
As though the author had
Installed too many characters
And put himself in bad.
Sometimes he has two lovers for
Che very self same girl,
And how he will get rid of one
Sets your brain in a whirl.
A villain. too. he'll i've. whose deeds
Are just within the law
You know the guy 1 have in mind
With frown and iron jaw
He makes life dreary for hero
And heroine alike.
But does it legally so he
Can't be sent down the pike.
There's fifty feet of film to run.
The author now must lose
One lover or mete punishment
To villain, here's the ruse-
The chap the author wants to dump
Begins to roll his eyes,
Grabs at his heart falls to the floor,
And on the last foot dies.