Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-09-26
KILLING OF MEN FAILS
TO ENCOURAGE WIT
SEVERAL Funny Things, However
Make Their Way From Trenches
to Outside World.
BY HERBERT COREY.
Copyright. 1881

BY HERBERT COREY.
Copyright. 1879
PARIS, August 2T-Humor does not
blend with war. Soldiers may be per-
fectly cheerful-almost happy-as they
are on the Lorraine front, and still
they rarely make jokes worth repeat
ing. Killing other men and risking
being killed does not encourage wit
The attitude of the average soldier
is perfectly expressed by cartoon in
one of the French weeklies. Four SOL
diers are seen sitting about a box in
trench on which they have been play
ing cards. shell has just blown the
trench to bits. The air is filled with
fragments. One soldier has turned to
view the wreck. The very lines of
his back tell Of his fright. One of the
others-a hairy veteran-glares at him
with disgust:
Well" he growls, ARE we playing
cards-or are we not?"
Now and then something is told that
has the germ of laughter in 1t. A
typical story of this sort is of the
English Tommy who brought up on the
station platform at Amiens. He was
sore and dust stained and tired. A
friend offered him a cigarette.
What are you thinking of" asked
Cne 1rlen0. MT. AtklnS ruDS MS neaQ
to brighten his thought.
Him thinking" he answered slow
". that maybe we'll ave to give the
bloighters 'ome rule
A Soldiers Funny Story.
Generally a soldiers stories have
something cynical about them. Blood
shed has become commonplace to them.
Death occurs as an incident of daily
life. I know of young French cap
tain, the brother-in-law of a prince,
who came home on leave the other day
He roared with laughter as he told his
yarn:
almost every day the Germans shell
our trenches" said he. Then they
charge. But before they charge they
always shorten their range to land on
our fire trenches-and they always drop
their shells into their own front
trenches. The sides are very close to-
gether there. We know this SO well
that the moment their fire on our
trenches slackens up we jump up, to
see the shells drop into their own men.
Arms and legs and everything are
tossed into the air. 1t is excruciatingly
funny. We cheer and wave our caps"
Often, of course, the humor is I'M
conscious. as in the case of the Eng
lish soldier Charley Williams told
about the other day. The Englishman
was commenting on the qualities of his
England know the difficulty one some
times finds in having a crossed" check
cashed.
"They gets a hi'penny a dye" said he,
@pide every ten dyes with a crossed
cheek-and still they foights"
Now and then the humor. being still
unconscious. is not furnished by the SOL
dfse. VIII Crooks. the labor leader, who
recentiy visited the English trenches,
told on his return to London of the ac-
uvities Of an evangelical organization.
Every time soldiers name appears
IN the pfpers.' a soldier said to Crooks,
he gets package of gospel literature
A nvor1te trac' is 'eaded in black letters:
Soldier. If you were shot dead this mo-
ment. would you go to 'eaven or ELL?
If the people at 'ome cannot do better
thing
Could He Hit church,
One of the stories one most often
hears in Paris Is that of the gunner in
charge Of a battery of seventy-fves
Shippers had been at work in a neighbor-
ing village. Finally they were run to
earth in the village church
Can you hit the church," the gunner
was asked.
Most certainly, my officer" he re-
piled. Il specialize in churches"
The four guns spoke at once, and the
church and the snper dissolved to-
setner. Afterward the officer wondered
what the gunner meant by his remark.
why did you say-you specialize in
churches?" he asked
Il am a priest" was the grim reply
That isn't told with any jeering I'M
dermotive, in spite of the frequently
expressed belief that the French are
an frreligious people. Fully 10000
priests are serving in the French army
and many of them have won crosses or
promotion. The French are proud of
them. They speak of their fighting
parsons with affection. One never hears
3eer against church or priest nova
days. The 10000 in the trenches have
conquered a nation.
Always, 1t appears, one returns to
Tommy Atkins He may not do laugh
able things more often than the men
OF other nations. 1t is merely that an
American is more apt to hear of them
One story is of an English general
feeling his way down a fire trench on a
Jones
Jones'" he called. half under his
breath. There was no reply from the
half-seen forms crouched at the loop
holes. rifle in hand. He walked on,
calling Jones in louder tones Final
ly his patience was exhausted
Il say, Jones' he shouted. cockney
voice rose from the muddy ditch
"Blarsted old bloighter," growled Mr.
Atkins, IVY don't you shut your bloody
cad"
Anxious About Merivale.
There is real fun, too. in another of