The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1915-06-04

1glades, where the Leading Citizens
and where Parched Corn. fabricated
with Photo Paste, was served at Sc
lect Functions.
He was Welcomed to- Our-Town by
Large and Commodious Audience
(which packed the Amph1theatre Of the
Railroad Loafing Place. There was
the Gazook with black sweater who
operated the Ark which Navigated be-
tween the Steel Rails and the Only
Hotel. two Giggling Milk-fed Girls out
for Mash; four Prominent Citizens
sitting back on their Surplus trying to
batch out Eight Per Cent, and eleven
BEADING pillars of High Society who
were there to Grab some express pack
ages which contained Great Joy that
they could Lap Up faster than the
Revenue officers could paste on the
Stamps.
.l "Isit" Is lts Name.
,'Is1t' was blazoned on both ends of
the Da-po, and lsit it was; destined by
Lur1d Literature to become the New
York of Sub tropical. Sun Kissed Flor
ida.
1t was Low. Rambling, Sheetiron
Oornice, slab-sided sort of a town, so
out Of harmony with Nature that it
couldn't be set to Rag Time or Soma
tn in Minor. 1t was a Lead Pipe
Cnch that its Vertebra was Cata-
Iogued as Broadway
1t was Blot on the Landscape af-
f11cted with an Eczema of Architecture,
splotched with a Dull Weather. Beaten
Complexion and Running Sores like
Rotten Sidewalks and Galvanized
Awnings. It's 642 acres of Various
and Assorted Weeds needed Manicur-
ing. There we're so many For Sale
Signs impaling the climate that it
looked National Cemetery by moon
tight.
Claude-for our hero's name was
Claude-Clande DeShon-gave the ODce
Over 10 the Human Mephitis Mephltis
who navigated the Village Ok Cart:
passed NJ the digging Girls with
COntumely: Scorned the OvertureS of
the Eight Per Cent Night Riders, and
taking his bearings from the Solitary
Coal Oil Glimmer which Pinkled SO
Pale at the end Of Broadway, ne Jig.
gjed his Carburetor, threw himself into
Low Gear and set his course little
East by So'east and went pulsating
into the Solitude of the Night.
He Was Man With a Mission.
He had a Mighty Mission to per-
form.
While his Massive Thinktank was
Coming a Suitable Approach to make
to the Geezers Of this Misft Village
be colided with a Razorback employ
ed as Sanitary Officer He had no
more than Apologized for his Offense
of Interfering with the Towns Chief
Rooter, than be Floundered into a Hog
Wallow. BY this time his Religion
was Cracked.
With a Flat Tire and his Radiator
Bubbling over with Wrath he steered
into the Assembly Room of the Pal
ace Hotel, rates one dollar per. with
the Grace of Stone Boat in Sloppy
" cd Iuel.
81 jerks. the prop. and gen. man.,
was awaiting bis coming. He had been
Awaiting the coming of some Weak
minded Victim all day. ST ran liv.
cry. sale and feed stable in Commune
ZION with his Palace Hotel. You could
kers and Mackerel Eye, and Drank
Soda Pop when be wanted to be Dew
iIish. The Palace was some hotel.
Even the Hound Dog, which was part
of the Furniture, hOwled when the
Dinner Bell called one to Partake. The
rooms were big as Telephone
Booth. and furnished like Box Stall.
Evening. stranger" be spoke. SHOW
ing Stubby Pencil into his Digits.
and pointing to the Register MY
rates be one dollar day. strictly terra
frma."
Ha. Newspaper Man!
Evening. sir" replied Claude. for he
was Feeling His Way. AS ne did not
know whether 81 was a Leading Ga
zook or just Plain Timekiller. u
want Il Rabbit Warren where the Al
falfa is Deep and blythe bye you can
Lead me to the Fodder. For the night.
put me next 10 Pure Reading Matter,
Top of the Column Crave Rest. for
my Soul is Tortured and | have Cal
louses on Ny Conscience. l have 10
towed to your Sanitary Officer and
Chief Rooter; have Inspected your
Real Estate: been Lamped for a Hard
ware Drummer by Loud Oalicoes; been
ADnroaci,ed bv 2y0yar Anamafad Ao1iA