Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1915-12-22
coexal0A1I GEORGE Aoe

1t lad been dinged into him that
True Politeness means to wait until
everyone else has been Served and
then murmur a few Thanks for the
Leavings.
Besides, his Parents had convinced
him that if he went Fishing he
wouldn't get a Nibble, and if he
climbed a Tree he would fall aid
break his Leg, and if he tried to ma
nipulate more than Two Dollars at one
time, he would go Blink.
Therefore, when both were in Col
lege, Rufus acted as plunging Half
Back, with Blue Smoke coming from
his Nostrils, and achieved the undying
Distinction of being singled out by
Walter Camp.
Edgar sat up on the Bleachers with
$500 other Mere Students and lent
quavering Tenor to Song about Alma
Mater.
Even the Undergrads could not take
the Tuck out of Rufus.
He was fresher than Green Paint
and his Work was Raw, but he was SO
Resilient that no one could pin him to
the Mat and keep him there.
When a Boy has been told SIT times
Day for many Years that he is the
Principal Feature of the Landscape, it
takes more than ordinary Doctoring to
Cure him.
He left College thoroughly convinced
that the World was his Oyster and
that he had an Opener in every
Pocket.
He began grabbing Public Service
Utilities by Strong-Arm methods,
whereupon a lot of Uplifters became
excited and wanted some one else to
head him off.
He put things Across because when
he tucked the Ball under his Arm and
began to dig for the Goal of his I'm
mediate Ambition, all the Friends Of
Public Veal were scared Blue and re-
tired behind the Ropes.
Edgar took his Degree out into the
Cold World and began to make apollo
getic Inquiries regarding Humble En-
ployment which would involve no Re-
sponsibilities.
He became an Office Lawyer of the
dull gray Variety with special Apti-
tude for drawing up Leases and ex-
amining Abstracts.
He could not face a Jury or fight a
Case because the fond Parents had put
the Sign on him and robbed him of all
his Gimp.
But Nice Fellow?
You know it.
Anyone who had a Book to sell, or
a Petition to be signed, or a Note that
needed endorsing came dashing right
into Edgar's Office and Hailed him as
the Champion Patsy of the Universe.
Not one of these ever ventured into
the Lair of the Street Railway Car,
for he knew that Rufus might jump
over the Mahogany Table and bite
him in the Arm.
Even Edgar, when he made a Busi-
ness Call on Boyhood Friend and low
ing Classmate, was permitted to wait
in the Outer Room, resting his Hat on
his knees, and mingling on terms of
Equality with the modish Typist and
the scornful Secretary.
And when they went away to look at
some Properties, Rufus took the State
room while Edgar drew an Upper.
Any great big Brute of Man with
Tigerish Instinct for bouncing on
each Good Thing and then hanging on
to it like Grim Death, never can win
the Esteem of the envious but anaemic
Gallery.
Everyone at the Club referred to
Edgar as a Good Old Scout, but when
all the Push gathered at the Round
Table and some one let fall the Name
of the High-Binder they would open
up on Rufus and Pan him to a Whis-
per.
Then Rufus would enter in his Fur
Coat upsetting Furniture and Serv-
ants as he swept through the Loun-
ging Room.
Immediately there would be an Epi-
demic of Goose Pimples and Rush
to shake Hands with him.
Rufus was sinfully Rich, but never
theless Detestable, because his Family
had drilled into him the low-down
Habit of getting the Jump on the Other
Fellow.
Edgar may live in a Rented House,
but he Will always nave the inward
Satisfaction of knowing that he is
sweet and courteous Gentleman with
Pink Underwear, and a Masonic
Charm on his Watch Chain.
When Edgar answers the Call, the
Preacher will speak briefly from the
Text, blessed are the Meek"
If the Death Angel succeeds in pull
ing down Rufus, the same Minister
will find Suggestion for his Remarks
in those inspiring Words, II have
fought the Good Fight"
MORAL:
The Scrapper is seldom beloved but
he gets Run for his Ticket.
IIsafII on Occasion