davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS
rom the Cincinnati Enquirer.


 When sO-year-old maiden finds that she can't catch a handsome ath- lete she slows up and begins paying some attention to the lads on crutches.
 When man hates you he has grouch on when you come around But when woman hates you she smiles sweetly when she meets you, although she could be arrested for what sine thinks of you
 Every now and then a man who is sale and sane about other matters will fall in love with woman who is all ready married to another man. Maybe this would be a happier world | if things were reversed and it cost $500 to get married and only $5 to get | a divorce.
 | After sitting down and being honest with yourself you will admit that your fool friends cause you more trouble than your enemies. One reason why father likes to move into another house is because he knows that the day after motheragets moved in she will discover some other house that she likes better. | A woman never realizes how much she loves man until she discovers that some other woman also loves him When a girl has shown an interest l in you and she meets you on the street four times in one afternoon, it isn't I accident. It Is a frame-up. What has become of the old fash toned man who used to get his pie ture In an almanac because one bottle of Piffle's Punk Preservative cured him of dropsy, Bright's disease. ecze- ma, pimples and smallpox?
 The old-fashioned 15-year-old girl who used to wear pinafore, and whose face was covered with natural roses and freckles, now has a l5-year- old daughter who wears a low-necked waist and a see-more skirt and whose face is covered with paint and beauty patches.
 You can't blame a woman for getting tired of married life. If you had tc sit opposite rough-necked mutt three times a day and hear him inhals his coffee and see him lick his soup .fi his moustache. you would be temptsa to treat him to about $2 worth of rougl on rats.
 I When some men own a 1915 mode automobile they are not happy unless they have 1915 model chicken to oc' cupy it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
Oath of Naturalization

"A practice has been started by fed eral judges of Minneapolis which is meeting with widespread indorse- ment.
 Instead of administering the natur- alization oath to foreign born citizens who have proved their fitness to be- come citizens of the United States, and who have compiled with the legal requirements, in whirlwind fashion, as has been the custom, the Minneapolis judges are investing the occasion with fitting ceremony.
 The "two-minute mill" is the phrase which has been applied to the admin istering of the oath which makes for eigners citizens of this country. Now all this is changed in the Minnesota city. The judges have instituted the custom of having the courtroom decor ated with American flags, on natural ization day, and the presiding judge delivers an address in which he sets forth in simple, dignified language, the privileges and duties that devolve upon American citizens. Everyone re- mains respectfully standing while the clerk administers the oath.
 This is as it should be. The assump- ton of citizenship should be treated as a serious and responsible matter.
 American citizenship means some- thing at all times, and especially is it to be prized in the face of the terrible penalty being paid by subjects of many other governments.
 Let the alien who comes here seek ing peace and safety realize the mag nitude of the benefit he is receiving, and begin at once to honor the coun- try that affords him freedom.
 And may not many native born American take lesson from our for eign born citizens who do appreciate the blessings derived from American citizenship?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
United States Military Service

In answering a query the Kansas City Star gives timely information about the conditions of military ser vice in the United States, if there should be a war. Under the federal law known as the Dick bill, which was intended to give the President the same power over the militia that he has over the regular army and the navy, but has been interpreted other wise by the Attorney General, the federal militia consists of every able bodied male citizen between the ages of IS and 45 years in all the states and territories and the District of Col umbia. Naturalized citizens of foreign birth are included, The federal militia is divided into the organized militia, or National Guard, and the reserve militia. Government officials and members of well organized religious sects opposed to war are exempt from military service.
 The President may call out the or ganized militia whenever he sees fit but cannot send such soldiers abroad without their consent. The regular army and volunteers may be ordered to any part of the world. Exemption from military duty is provided for b, most of the states. In Missouri mar liable to military duty may purchase exemption by furnishing a substitute or paying into the state's militar, fund $l5 a month for as long a time as he would have been required tt serve.
 In case of war, the President might not call the National Guard until i had been found impossible to ge enough volunteers. If it were decided to call out the militia the number o. men needed would be apportioneG luong the different states. Natural,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
Christian Business

No sane man can rob Christianity of its look toward God. It is ineradica- ply written in humanity that it must seek help from, and communion with, something above itself; and any relig- ion which aims to meet all the needs of life must have this God-ward eie- ment in it. Christianity has it. Christ certainly did not neglect to reveal God or to impress upon men the possibility and the duty of communing with Him.
 But some one has said that Christi anity cannot be practiced between one man and God. To follow Christ one must be surrounded by all the multiple social relationships. The man-ward seems in Christ's mind to stand at least side by side with the God-ward Modern business presents an m. usual opportunity for the expression of the man-ward element in the re- ligion of Jesus.
 Every rightly conducted business is honest, and to that extent Christian. Honesty is more and more difficult to define, however, as business and life increase in complexity. There needs to be the very spirit of God in the minds of our men in order that they shall discern the difference between honesty and dishonesty.
 Every rightly conducted business renders service, and to that extent is Christian. Bankers, merchants, farm CTS, professional men, if they are do. ing their duty, are all filling some nee essary place in the economy of life.
 Every rightly conducted business is a school of industry and efficiency
 and thereby does a Christ-like work
 If employees were allowed to perform their duties in poor or careless way
 always meeting an easy forgiveness
 there would be no discipline in busi
 ness, and the influence would be devil ish. Character would disintegrate ant
 the world fall apart.
 But the commanding opportunity O.
 modern business is to do the Christ
 like thing of accepting employees a
 partners to receive their just share O the proceeds. It is not a matter of be ing good to employees ard giving then l this, that and the other. It is matte r of being just and giving them what i l theirs.
 l l believe in labor organizations 7 though abhor the violence to whic they are sometimes unwisely led. Car ? ital has an equal right to organiz ? for its own protection. But this syster , of armed camps is unnatural and UT , stable, and cannot last.
 Happily there are many modern ir
 stances of the successful working ou t of this plain Christian principle in bi t and little business. These are multipl, t ing and will continue to do so. Bl there is too much of will merely placate labor, and to get the highcs efficiency. These are good, but ther / is better-namely. partnership
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
Christ for the redemption of this pres-

Christ for the redemption of this pres. ent world.
 agree with socialism that there is something wrong with the world. The rich are too rich and the poor are too poor But I have no faith in mere reorganization of society. Forms will take care of themselves when the hearts of men are touched with the Christ life and the Christ conscience. Labor and capital alike need this. Labor needs it lest it be enticed to idolence and cruelty. Capital needs it to purge it from greed and the willing ness to grind the face of the poor Capital needs it more than labor be- cause it is in the saddle and has been for centuries. But the old day of in- justice and oppression is dying. The new day is dawning in which capital and labor shall sit together in heaven ly places in Christ Jesus.
 HENRY M EDMONDS
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
EDUCATION

From the New York Evening Post.
 great people, being actuated by ideal of one kind and another. taxed themselvei t) the verge of exhaustion in order t make whistles out of pigs tails.
 A few pigs tails actually becam whistle of a sort Quite number re mained, after all, pigs tails. But tn, great majority ended with being neithe one thing nor the other
 The great people chung to their ideala however.
 There's nothing like education and lon of it'' they insisted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
The Grain Crops

Not only will the nations wheat crop be enormous-a record breaker but there will be a bumper yield of oats, the government estimating the crop at 1,2ss, s,000, GOO bushels, against a final estimate of 1914 of 1,141.000.000 bushels" said a member of the Cham Der of Commerce.
 "The oats crop Is expected to be the largest on record, with one exception. The barley crop will also be huge, and will yield about 195, ,o0O, ,o0o bushels. or 13,000.000 bushels more than last year. Prosperous conditions are assured throughout the west regardless of moderate prices. Farmers will prob ably get less for their grain this year, but they will not suffer, because Of the size of the crops.
 Last year the war sent prices soar ing and American growers had things practically their own way in the in ternational markets. but this seasor there will be more competition, chiefly from Argentina. Canada, India and Russia, if the Dardanelles are forced Exporters look forward to an enormous volume of business.
 "The condition of spring wheat is 94.9 against 95.5 last year Damage reported in the wheat belt last montf was not extensive enough to affect th' size of the crop"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

the National Guard units would be expected to fill the vacancies. Con- scription of the militia would be the last resort.
 In some states the National Guard has reached high degree of pro- ficiency and would be of immediate service in recruiting large army. In the southern states there are numbers of so-called "crack" regiments, but the organized militia has been sadly neglected
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
COMFORT.

Iris pleasant to roam in fields of bloom. Iris pleasant to lie in the shade of
 tree,
 But the sun grows hot and quiet room And a rose in vase more appeal to mo. Let others climb hills and tug at the oars Till their weary bodies plead for rest; In an easy chair my fancy scars
 And my book Is one of the seasons best.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

BEGINNING THE DAy-o Lord, may I take my joy gladly, may l bear my pain brayeiy, may carry my burden patiently. May ne thankful in all things. Teach me the vvondrous height and depth anu richness of living my life faithfully fin high place or low. May l see the way lighted before me by the fo"t- prints of the Master of men. Amen and amen.-H- NJ. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
CHESTERFIELD ouTDoNE

From Judge.
 "Wonderful" said Dubbson enthusias- tically. as he gazed at the new Garra- way baby.
 Do you wonder I am proud of him?' said Mrs. Garraway.
 No. madam. do not" said Dubbson. Indeed. I realize more than ever now the tuth of the old saying that a wom- ans crowning glory ia her heir.-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
NOT IN HIS CASE.

'There's one thing I admire about Mir. Manlius Meeker,' said Mrs. Cobbles. He doesn't mind helping Mrs. Meeker with the housework occasionally"
 That's what you think" sneered MT. Cobbles Long years of schooling have taught Manlus Meeker that minding in ever to do with minding in the sense of caring"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

It Is agreed that the fly is without single redeeming trait. Even the shortness of his life does not make him more popular.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
TRYING OUT AN EDUCATION.

Well dad, here's my degree from the agricultural college"
 That's good, son. can now carry out a little scheme I've been thinking about ever since you went away"
 And what is that?"
 I'm going to see If you can coin that diploma of yours into enough dollars to pay off the mortgage on this farm"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
HAT mischievous mountebank among American public men-William J.
 Bryan-is up to his old political

. HAT mischleVous mountepdnh dIhohs l American public men-william ]. Bryan-is up to his old political tricks again
 The man merely revels in the possibili- ties of political pot boiling.
 His burlesque resignation from the pre- miership of the American cabinet because he could not in justice to himself sign note to Germany far less belligerent in tone than the one he actually signed several weeks ago is farcical.
 Even the Nebraskan's best friends can but admit that the Lansing note was mild and extremely argumentative and more delicately appealing to reason and justice and humanity than the note bear ing the Bryan signature. Yet Bryan bombastically appeals in lengthy pub lished addresses to the American people that he Is for that same peace which the President Is so thoroughly and with such dignity attempting to preserve.
 # * H
 An appeal to -Americans-th veriest political clap trap. A politician seeking to make personal capital from great international situation in which our government is attempting by diplo- macy to protect it's citizens and It's inc terests from the piracy of Germany and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

This country has fallen into the habit of receiving the announcement of a bumper wheat crop with an air of non- chalance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
Fish Stories Fishy But Good

''rhe fish stories that get the average reader are of class that are 'fishy, bordering on the fiction field,' said a sportsman, but for all of that many are true.
 About three weeks ago I caught d bass of about one and quarter pounds in East Lake and I strung it on a piece of fishing line, through the lower jaw I cut the string to about IS inches when ready to start for home, tying a loop
 in the end. My companion held the fish up admiring it, when flop, it slipped the loop from his finger and dived back into the waters of the lake. inside the boa thouse.
 Tuesday afternoon I again caught this fish, and at the same place as where
 taken before. and with the string still
 in its mouth. More, when I in surprise { ii1,..,ss i1,.,ss .t ,.p in the hoat hy the old string it broke, and the fish gave a grand flor and came near getting back into the water again. You just bet jumped or it la Val Kolb. and then tied it fast with the three others.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

Speaker Clark wants to pitch all the can see that being pitched into a trench already dug is better than having to dig the trench first
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

It seems almost impossible for a newspaper man to interview a prima donna and not comment on her undying love for America.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

The war correspondent whose motor car breaks down right where big shells are falling knows how it feels to be a soldier
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

People who ride in jitney busses should try to keep their straw hats from blowing off Nothing else short of puneture Is so apt to lengthen the schedule
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

New Workers plan a restaurant with out cabaret features. Dining sans ra g. time and sans vaudeville would be a real novelty in Gotham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

Secretary Daniels wishes it under stood that he is sauarely behind Pres ident Wilson. A firm pacifist, at any rate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

Among other striking qualities, Gen. eral Villa seems to know the proper time to quit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
STRONG WORDS. WHAT,

STRONG WORDS, WHAT.
 Lord St. Davids, addressing Englandi peers, said that even among the member of the upper house. 1t might be possbli to find men who had never done a dayY work for themselves or anybody else sine, they were born and the sons of some ot them were still lettering about the thea tres and music halls This blawsted wal has done more to jolt Englands vel known serenity than anything else tha ever happened. The idea of work, though to be inherently distasteful to many no blemen. and especially to their promis ing sons is being thrust into the facei of the privileged class with tiresome fre quency. The average sprig of a nobl house no doubt expects to die bravely fol his country-if he ever gets around to it. but interference with his worship of tn, stage celebrities and that well applied leisure which has made him such an idea clubman may seem to him bally out rage. No wonder if. when thinking d Brittania he asks himself, What is tn old girl coming to7''
 
 should be one of the means to dispe la, l undergra duates. to the effect that the, are unable to write good English and t. | spell correctly. The clear expression ideas is at least an important part of | college education, and along this line col | lege journalism has not yet been appra ciated or utilized to its possible capacity
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

MT. Hobson says he admires MT. Bryan now more than ever before. Perhaps he might consider MT. Bryan a good running mate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

The polite correspondence exchanged by President Wilson and Mir Bryan doesn't mean anything to people who think they can read between the lines.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

Cullman Tribune: The erection of a S5,- GOO 900 ship building plant at Mobile will mean much to the renewal activity and boon to the optimistic men who have all along contended that there was a brighter day just ahead for the grand
 old state of Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

that Roumania and Bulgaria long tc join the pack.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
Ae.N3,ueo
NOT A CAR.

I've bought a lovely aquarelle," Said Mrs. Jasper Chew. "Oh joyl" cried Mrs. Dobson Pell, T will go to ride with your'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
B. M. Allen and the Warrior

Dr. Frank snedecor remarked to e friend the other day that he took a trlr In a Ford to the Warrior and Lake Bank head with a view possibly of buying lit tie piece of land along the river as an investment.
 When I got down there, however" he said, T found that B. M. Allen had already bought it all"
 ihe friend later asked "B NJ" about 1t.
 There is still some left down there, ' said the well-known lawyer and farmer,
 though I have approximately five miles or river front. 1t is not a recent pur- chase, either, but was bought from time 10 time In years past, because I thought the old Warrior would come into it's own some day. Part of 1t is on the Jefferson county side of the river and part on the Tuscaloosa county side and practi- cally all is in the two townships just above Lock IT, I told the boys I didn' t care where they built the road from Bir- mingham, for if it goes to the river it is pretty apt to hit my property some where"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

The new dance accepted by the danc- ing masters opens the door of hope to the fat man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

When the war Is over there wfll be nothing in France too good for Gen eral Joffre.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

Talladega Reporter: It may be all
 wrong. But we were never an admirer
 of w. J. Bryan. Always thought he had
 a loose screw. which now seems to have slipped a thread. Believe he has done as great an injury to Germany, as to this country by his act. No nation can be permitted to torpedo neutral ships, and the country Is with Wilson on that proposition, as is all the balance of civili- ration. Darn the costs, or consequences; l f. mustn't be donei
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13

Ashland Progress: The celebrated suit of the government to dissolve the United States Steel corporation resulted in ravor of the defendant and, If allowed to stand, 1 it is claimed that the decision will give an impetus to the steel industry of Bir-
 mingham and thereby indirectly quicken | the business pulse of all Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
RecoIlections of a Great statesman

a
 Mir. Bryan will feel anything but proud
 when he reads the press comments called forth by his resignation. for with few ex- captions even where the editors took a charitable view, the upshot is that the ex- Secretary of State was a misfit.," said an old democrat
 This country has had several excep- tionally able State Secretaries in my time, but the greatest of them, to my l mind, was Thomas F. Bayard of Dela- ware. who held the state portfolio throughout Cleveand's first term He was a candidate for the democratic nomi- nation in 1884, and went into the conven- tion with a well organized following. He
 was a distinguished senator and was per onally popular but he had the misfor- tuen of representing state with only three electoral votes Moreover, Dela- ware was in the solid democratic column in those days-the solid southland that made against his chances. A candidate from a doubtful or pivotal state was needed, and MT. Cleveland, then governor of New York; was nominated.
 MT. Bayard was a great statesman and | a sincere democrat, gentleman of high breeding. the soul of chivalry. He had | scholarly attainments, and was a man of l lofty character. He had made a study of | international law and his experience in
 public life especially equipped him for handling large diplomatic problems for he
 had served on the foreign relations com l mittee of the Senate.
 l Among the brilliant and successful l Secretaries of State since the civil war
 were Blaine, Foster, Olney Root and l Knox. But in strong moral stamina, com
 bined with wide international vision and | fine bent for diplomacy, Bayard seemed | to be simply ideal"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
MED BRACE TALKS ABOUT MR. BRYAN'S
 ATTITUDE AND HIS PERSONAL PURPOSES

of
 
 
  heretofo forth. power
  
  but to would
   which commanding respect would American
  of all of And al  the surface TOT he torn nesh ,a affairs of an hundred million people? he pon IS wckedy wrapped m the woros or the smihns ent and scholar as this .o,nt be  n a magni-l subtle a's our % .r.,. - '..s.r % s.. ssss s.. ss@ @ 2e eQ
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-06-13
HISTORY

By Eugene F. Ware. Over the infinite prairie of level eternity Flying as flies the deer, Time is pursued by a pitiless, cruel oh
 lvion,
 Following fast and near. Ever and ever the furnishing coyote H
 following
 Patiently in the rear; Trifling the interval. yet we are calling ' Distance from wolf to deer