The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1915-12-03
SOME OF UPsHAw's SAYINGS

SOME OF UPSHAW'S SAYINGS
1t had been the intention of the
Star to give report of Mr.. Upshaw's
Sunday address in its Tuesday issue,
but finding this impossible it presents
today some of his best hits:
Boys and Booze
| remember one time fellow push
ed up to me in Atlanta, and says,
"Upshaw, why don't you prohibition
lists let us ants alone?" l said: "Do
you know what you make me think
of? You make me think of the first
picture ever saw in an almanac that
/ remember right well. 1t was the
picture of an Irish washerwoman with
her board. She was looking at her
boy Mike. Mike was scratching his
head. The mother said, Mike, stop
scratching your head He said, I
won't do it, Nam; they commenced on
me first" said, "Of course we are
not going to stop scratching your
head until you let our boys alone"
I want to emphasize one truth. The
fight against the saloon in Marion
county and everywhere has come out
of this fact, because the saloon has
proven first of all that it has no finan-
cial or moral right to exist. For the
few thousand dollars Marion county
gets from its income it costs you
about a quarter of million, aside
from the depleted manhood, the ruin
of labor and the wealth producing
strength of the community.
Health of Hogs and Horses
From the standpoint of the protec-
ton of its citizenship Marion county
ought not to allow any kind of bust
ness that hurts the citizenship. You
wouldn't allow in this county any
kind of business for the sale of a
concoction that weakens the health of
the hogs, and you wouldn't allow the
sale of any kind of concoction that
would make horses act the fool. No,
sir; you would have great mass
meeting, and would pass resolutions
that, whereas, there is being sold in
this community concoction that is
running our hogs and making our
horses act fool, and making them
unsafe for our families to drive;
therefore, be it resolved that the peo-
pie Of this county rise in their might
and stop the sale of such connection
which is running the health of our
horses and our hogs. Then do not
understand why it is that you do not
rise and stop the sale of something
that hurts the health of your boys
and girls, unless it is because you love
hogs and horses, and money and pol
itics better than you love boys and
girls.
Carmack's Declaration
The eloquent, martyred Carmack
sale. sThe saloon has sinned away
its time of grace if it ever had any,"
The saloon has proven that it has
no moral right to exist. If any man
can rise up here and give me one in
stance of where any saloon has made
more moral man, better citizen,
or better husband and father, will
stop right here. William j. Bryan,
the great commoner, said these
words: "The saloon is the last place
to go to find virtue and the first place
to go to find crime"
Protest against the saloon is here
also because it has no political right
to exist. will ask my friends to
answer this before God. Just answer
me before God, have you ever known
barrooms to make clear politics in
any community on earth?
Then if the saloon has no moral
right to exist, and no financial right
to exist, and no political right to ex-
list, then it has no governmental
right to exist. There is no living man
who can answer that proposition.
Davis Law a Failure
The Davis law is at once an i'm
provement and failure. It is better
to have poison factory at work from
a. m. to p. m. than to have it run
ming from daybreak until midnight,
but you have found that package
whisky makes men drunk and robs
their homes just like old-time barroom
whisky did. Like the little girl said
to the long-legged doctor, when she
thought he was wired skeleton that
caught her: Don't you come running
after me-you are the same old devil
if you is got your clothes on"
Pole Cats and Liquor Shops
] believe in the Bible, whole book,
Jonah, whale and great many more
things that / don't understand. But
there is one thing that / have never
been able to understand, and that is
why God created the pole cat and left
it in this world. But I had this bright
idea not long ago: God created the
pole cat so we could have an analogy
between the liquor shop and the pole
cat. There are two points of analogy
and resemblance. The first is, both
Of them smell bad; and, second, you
can't regulate either.