Cheyenne record., 1915-09-23

separation between US were that OF
the grave had merited and SO weakly
Stunned.
But was not yet satisfied. How
could insure for, myself the extreme
punishment which my peace demand
ed, without bringing down upon me
the full consequences l refused to
accept.
You have seen how ultimate
ly answered this question. A convict's
bed! convict's isolation!
But after some weeks of this, fresh
fears arose. An accident was possible.
For all Bela's precautions, someone
might gain access to this room. This
would mean the discovery Of my Sc
cret. And this fence was built.
This should have been enough. But
guilt has terrors unknown to limo.
cence. One day caught small boy
peering through an infinitesimal crack
in the fence, and, remembering the
window grilled with iron with which
Bella had replaced the cheerful case
ment in my den of punishment, real
ized how easily an opening might be
made between the boards for the con-
venience Of curious eye anxious to
penetrate the mystery Of my seclusion.
And so 1t came about that the inner
fence was put up. This settled my po-
sition in the town. No more visits.
All social life was over. 1t was meet.
l was satisfied at last. could now
give my whole mind to my one remain
ing duty. l lived only while on the
bench.
March 5. 1898.
There is a dream which comes to
me often-a vision which 1 often see.
1t is that Of two broken and irregu-
lar walls standing apart against a
background of roseate sky. Between
these walls the figures of a woman
and child, turning about to go.
The bridge I never see, nor the face
of the man who died for my sin; but
this see always-the gaunt ruins Of
Spencer's Folly and the figure of a
woman leading away little child.
That woman lives. l know now who
she is. Her testimony was uttered be-
fore me in court and was not one to
rouse my apprehensions. My crime
was unwitnessed by her. and for years
she has been a stranger to this town.
But have a superstitious horror of
seeing her again, while believing that
the day will come when l shall do so.
When this occurs-when I look up and
find her In my path. shall know that
my sin has found me out and that the
end Is near.
1909
o shade of Algernon Etheridge, I'M
forgetting and unforgiving! The wom-
an has appeared! She stood in this
room today. Verify. years are moth
ing with God.
Added later.
thought l knew what awaited me
if my hour ever came. But who can
understand the ways of Providence or
where the finger Of retributive justice
will point 1t is divers name and not
mine which has become the sport Of
calumny. divers! Could the irony
of life go further! divers!
There Is nothing against him. and
such folly must soon die out; but to
see doubt In Mrs. Scoville's eyes Is
horrible in itself and to eliminate it
l may have to show her divers &C
count of that long-forgotten night Of
crime in Spencer's Folly. 1t is naively
written and reveals a clean, if reticent,
nature; but that its effect may be
unquestionable l will insert few
lines to cover any possible misinter-
probation of his manner and conduct.
There is an open space. and our hand
writings were always strangely alike.
Only our e's differed. and l will be
careful with the e's.
Her confidence must be restored at
all hazards.
My last foolish attempt has undone
me. Nothing remains now but that
sacrifice of self which should have
been made twelve years ago.