davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
somewha. nifferent.

BY the way, old chap" said Josh
EN-. did you eve see a cakewalk?"
NO" replied Soberleigh, but once
say a cheese that might have walked
Il the cage door had been left open
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Evened Things Up.

Mrs. Wiggs-Poor Mrs. Rounder!
Her husband didn't leave her much
when he died.
Mrs. Diggs-Oh. well. he made up
for it when alive. He left her nearly
every night.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Feminine Charity.

Mrs. Biloxi wonder why Mrs. De
Style is always late at the theater?
Mrs Knox-Oh. / suppose she has to
wash the dinner dishes before she
starts.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
The Difference.

Mr.. Lookit-Mrs. FAIRY is such a
stately woman. She has an unusual
ly fine carriage.
Mrs. Comeup-We have a fine mo
tor car.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Its Kind.

That mar must have been crazy
about travelling"
What makes you think that?"
THE doctor said he had the loco
and taxi disease"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
His Speciality.

The one-He can't be much of an
actor. l never see his name on the
billboards.
The Other-No; but understand it
appears on a good many board bills.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Nor Msrcenarx.

Mr.. Gottrox-My daughters, young
man. are both worth their weight IN
gold
Suitor-Then the fact that | am ask
ing vol for the smaller one proves at
any rate, that | am o msrcenary-
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Tired of Monotonx.

Did you see where a man accused
his wife Of pouring oil over him and
then setting fire to him?"
Maybe she wanted a change in
the way of seeing him lit up"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Sarcastic.

She-I wouldn't be a cook for the
world.
He-Of course not. 1t would e i'm
possible for one person to cook for the
world.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
A Clean Course.

Say. Sam, do you endorse this
project of making soap out OF sew
age?"
IF you ask me, l wash my hands of
the whole plan"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Not Affected.

That plausible promoter you have
just let into the chiefs Office can do
a lot of convincing gassing."
Eyes, but the boss is wearing a
r~espirator."
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Finger Prints Again.

Jimmie-What are you doing?
Tommie-Washing the jelly of my
hands. Mas a finger print expert,
you know.-Woman's Home Compan.
ion.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Probably Not.

rs dat dab Sassafras Simpson took
a wife yit, Rastus?"
Reckon he hain't, Bre'r Higgins.
He's workin'."-Browning's Magazine.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
One DANGER Escaped.

WAS your effort to learn swimming
from a correspondence school a sue
cess?"
ITO a certain degree. didn't get
drowned while l was trying to learn"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
GRIST OF NEWS
OVER The WIRES
TeIegraphic and Cable Items
Recording a Weeks Events.
FROM FORTY-EIGHT STATES

Happenings in All Parts of the Union
Decisive Battles in the World
War-Washington's Latest Gossip
Reports Of Crops and Business.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Ample Proof.

Us this an all-star company" asked
the manager Of the Bunkhurst opera
house.
Sure it is" said the press agent.
They haven't spoken a pleasant word
to each other since they started N
tour"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Discarded Smile.

He is las happy as a king.'
1t was a good old phrase.
Alas, it doesn't mean a thing
In these eventful days.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Confession.

81 say, pard, they say all the men
they catch who took part in that
lynching are to be put on trial"
We'll, I'll be hanged"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
Couldn't ELL the Order.

81 say, waiter, bring me an inini-
tesimal portion of that chicken"
Sorry, sir, but we've got only the
tiniest bit of it left"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
The Classification.

Pop. Venice is half water, isn't it?"
Yes. my son."
Then would it be correct to refer
to it's large floating population?"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05

Greatness upon some men is thrust,
But well we know they believed it
Was not thrust on them at all, but
That they achieved it.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
unkind s-uunestion.

"Cholly wouldn't go into the water
today because he felt dizzy"
The fool ought to know he safest
when his heads swimming"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
NOTHING Wasted.

Hobson-My wife never wastes any
thing.
Dobson-No?
Hobson-No. If it's edible, it goes
into the hash. and if 1t isn't. it will do
10 trim a hat.-Juoge
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05

handle its WI riots. He proved that it could, moreover, for he ordered out
the National Guard and went down to the scene of the disorders and tool
charge himself. The riotfng was stopped and the federal troops we're re
turned to their quarters.
Governor Stewart is a lawyer, a director of two state banks and has
been chairman of the Democratic state central committee. His term a IS gov
ernor is from 1913 to 1917.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05

his belief. Perhaps this var, with promises of a better and more stable
market for food, may supply the needed incentive.
Where are the abandoned farms?" he asked. you do not find them in
North Dakota OF the Panhandle of Texas, remote and far from urban centers
as they arr But you do find them in New York and Ohio, for example.
Hope for a golden future is what moves men to 20 to the newer portions of
the continent OF to the cities. Without hope for such a future, you cannot
keep them in one place."
Professor Whitney is one of those government scientists who have given
their lives to public service, their recompense a small salary and the salts
faction of doing helpful work. He is a native of Baltimore, and is hftythree
years old.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05
The Inextinsuishable Ego.

No penitent is quite so sad,
AS he his failings ma rehearse,
That he won't say. Il may be bad,
But there are others vastly worse"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05

self with a knowledge of public law and finance, SC that when he entered the
chamber of deputies in the sixteenth legislature his abilities were quickly
recognized.
He held various governmental posts and finally received the treasury
portfolio in the cabinet of Baron Sidney Sonnino, who is minister of foreign
affairs in the present cabinet.
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05

The Ruling Requirement.
What's that famous river in
PARISH
You mean the River Seine?"
yes, but is it also safe?"
The Penn's Grove record., 1915-11-05

How much of a tip did you give
the waiter?"
I didn't give him anything in cash,
but | asked him if he would take a sec
ond mortgage on our house"
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
RIBBONS

a Department Always Complete In
staples and Novelties.
All silk Satin Ribbons. all cOiOrS.
IOc
All silk TaGeta Ribbons. all coIorS.
Zoe
Taneta Ribbons. full line of coIurs.
13i=c. Ice, Ice and 25c
satin Ribbons, full line of colors.
15c. Ice and 25c
Moire Ribbons, all c0IOrS.
15c. 19c and 25c
Fancy Dresden Ribbons. Zoe and 35c
Plaid aud shepherd Checks 80. 25c
Wash Ribbons. Be. &c. sc, &c, sc and
Toe.
ColOrcd Velvet Ribbons, Ice and a5c
Black Velvet Ribbons,
Zoe, I21=c, Ice. 19c and 25c
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
Try This If You
Have Dandruf

There is one sure way that never
fails to remove dandruff completely
and that is to dissolve it, This DESTROYS
it entirely. To do this, just get about
four ounces of plain, ordinary liquid
arvon; apply it at night when retiring:
use enough to moisten the scalp and
rub 1t in gently with the finger tips.
BY morning most, If not all. OF your
dandruff will be gone, and three OF
four more applications will completely
dissolve and entirely destroy every
single sign and trace of it, no matter
how much dandruff you may have.
You will find. too. that all itching
and digging of the scalp will stop in
stantly and your hair will be fluffy,
lustrous, glossy. silky and soft and
look and feel hundred times better.
You can get liquid arvon at any drug
store. 1t is inexpensive, and four
ounces is all you will need. This SIM
pie remedy has never been known to
ail.-Advertisement.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
UNDER COVER" 4
PLAY Of SURPRISE
A Play of Society Smuggling,
Revealing Peculiar Plot in
the Closing Scenes

There seems to be an inexorable
law of nature that anything man
wants. man must work long and per-
sistently TO obtain. Anything man
wants to know. he must study and pa
ttently wait for. Just so with Under
Cover the new play by Roi Cooper
MeErue, presented yesterday at the
Majestic by Selwyn and company, pro-
ducers of within the Law" Baby
Mine" and Twin Beds"
Under Cover is play revolving
about the customs offices and SNUG
Cling as is practised so the play says.
by the shining lights of society Those
who stayed for the fourth act of the
denouement of the play would never
have guessed anything was going To
happen il the first two acts had been
used as a criterion of the play. The
early scene of the play served only TO
disgust the audience by the advan-
tages taken of a girl. caught in a help
less position in endeaVoring to save
her sister, suggested anything but the
gentlemanly action that is supposed
to surround government officiaries
The parts. too, were quite overdrawn,
which only better accentuated the
disgust of the action. Into the third
and fourth act there were crowded
kaleidoscope action eliminating in Il
revelation in the fourth act which
made one feel just about as foolish as
the end of Seven Keys to BaIdpate"
by George VI. Cohen.
Under Cover revolved around one
Stephen DENLY. played by Arthur
Stanford who. after he got properly
started proved himself equal to the
part. but Clara Louise as Ethel Cart
right, the girl set to catch DENLY in
his smuggling. failed to reveal any
thing of an emotional character and
she played everything in a monotone
style with little difference from every
thing else.
The supporting company was gen.
orally good. but there seemed to per-
wade the entire play the thought that
none of the company knew exactly
what they We're supposed to do next
The play. especially the last two
acts was well received by Il fair-sized
audience.
MAX RORERTSONa
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
Gettysburg withstood the

Gettysburg withstood the furious
charge of Pickett's men.
Therefore with these recorded facts
set down and many others in mind,
of the accomplishments and honor
able life work of California's sons
in Pennsylvania, and the achieve
ments of Pennsylvanians in your
State, can ii not truthfully be said
that we are bound each to the other
by ties of patriotism, of friendship
and good will, stronger than links OF
steel and as enduring as your ever
lasting hills.
When the complimentary call came
from San Francisco for our Common
wealth to demonstrate to the civilized
world what she has accomplished in
preventive medicine, and her methods
to overcome tuberculosis and to build
up q stronger race of mankind by
proper school hygiene, and combat ty
phoid fever we lost no time in ac-
cepting the invitation. Pennsylvania
State exhibit will give a materialistic
demonstration so as to make an ocu-
lar impression upon the lay people.
that each visitor may go away with a
graphic impression of what can be
done to improve health conditions
lbpon which all industries and happi
ness of mankind largely depend. II
is not my intention to enlarge upon
health matters, but 10 express our
appreciation for the invitation and
to leave our exhibit of hygiene to
speak for itself.
This building which we dedicate to-
day stands as a monument TO the
genius of the architect who planned
it, to the builders who fashioned 1t
and to the artists who enriched ii.
From the time of the Centennial
Celebrat tion in 1876, when the first
worlds exposition was held, until this
wear, large cities throughout the
United States and other nations have
We'd with each other in attempts to
excel all that had gone before in the
conception and magnitude of their
respective undertakings. 1t remain
ed. however, for San Francisco and
that executive and constructive ge-
Mus. your president, Charles c. Moore.
surrounded and aided by an efficient
staff, to arouse public sentiment to a
determination to make this eXposi-
tion. and the event it celebrates. the
greatest in point of interest to all
peoples the world has ever known.
Our imaginations were staggered
when we of the East learned that,
notwithstanding the terrible European
war. then and now in progress, the
hesitancy on the part of many to send
exhibits, due to unsettled business
and political conditions, that the gates
of this great fair ground were opened
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18

to the thousands clamoring for admis-
sion upon the very day, in fact the
very hour. set for that momentous
event.
Pennsylvania heartily congratulates
you in the consummation of this stu
pendous task And now by the au-
thority vested in Pennsylvania's Com
mission and in the name of the Com
monwealth we represent, hereby de-
clare this building dedicated to the
uses and purposes of the San Fran
cisco Panama Pacific Universal Ex-
position.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
THOUGHT He HAD
CHRONIC DYSPEPSIA
But Now Eats COrned Beef, Cabbage.
Pork, Onions and Vince fie Ior
Dinner and Never Feels n Pain

DInuer and Never Feels Pain
DO YOU belong to the mo thank you
society of the dinner table where the
mere sight of certain foods makes you
feel the pain you know would be yours
IL YOU ever ate them?
Corn Beef, Cabbage, Pork. Beets,
Onions, Turnips. etc, are all good,
healthy, strengthening foods and
strong, healthy stomach can always
digest them. Yet II the stomach kicks
hack and simply won't work on such
strong fare it's folly to fall back on
ARTIFICIAL digesters that push the stun
through whether the somach Wills or
What a weak. easily upset stomach
really needs is not a digestive aid, but
n stomach strengthener. ANY reliable
physician will tell you it's dangerous to
Continually dose the stomach with pep
ain diResters and the like. His own
prescription will act on the stomach
instead No physician ever wrote a
better stomach prescription than that
embodied in the famous MI-O-NA
stomach Tablets that II. C.. Kennedy
and most every other druggist in this
vicinity sells with the positive guaran-
tee that they must put a complete and
lasting end 10 stomach misery or money
back Mi-o-na strengthens the walls
and muscular fibere OF the stomach
and induces prompt normal working Of
your own stomach machinery. 1t gives
relief I'm ten minutes to all the COM
mon and uncomfortable symntoms OF
hIoating. shooting pains. etc. and In
few weeks will nut the stomach In such
clear and nerfectly healthy condition
that It can digest a. tvDical New Eng
land boiled dinner without the slight
est effort or distress.--Adyertisem
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
HEADACHE, COLDS,
COSTWE BOWELS,
TAKE CASCARETS
Tonight! Clean your bowels and
end Headaches, Colds,
Sour Stomach


You men and women who can't get
feeling right who have headache.
coated tongue, bad taste and foul
breath. dizziness. can't sleep, are bill
Gus. nervous and upset, bothered with
u sick, gassy, disoTdered stomach, or
have a bad cold.
Are you keeping your bowels clean
with Cascarets. or merely forcing a
passageway every rev days with salts,
cathartic pills or castor oil?
Cascarets work while you sleep;
cleanse the stomach. remove the sour.
undigested, fermenting food and foul
gases; take the excess bile from the
liver and carry out of the system all
the constipated waste matter and poi
son in the bowels.
A Cascaret tonight will straighten
you out by morning. 10-cent box
from any drug store will keep your
stomach sweet: liver and bowels regu-
lar. and head clear for months. Don't
forget the children. They love Cas-
carets because they taste good-never
grippe or Standardization
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
Japan Said to Have Been
Warned by Allied Nations
IN .lfsocinLcd Prcst

London, March 1S.-A dispatch from
Peldng yesterday set forth that the
allies had warned Japan against press
ing her Chinese demands and that
Washington had told Toxic that GER
tain of the requirements upon China
violated existing American treaties
with that republic. The views of the
allies We're presented by the British
and Russian ambassadors at Toxic.
who advised the foreign office that
Japan confne herself to her first re-
quests from China, as otherwise it
would be difficult for Japan's allies to
negotiate automatically with her in
the future.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
Outer Forts OF Przemysl
Reported to Have Fallen

London. March Is. 12.45 2. M.-The
outer forts of Przemysl, toward which
a part of the Austrian army has been
struggling in an effort to bring about
the relief of the besieged garrison,
have at last fallen before the Russians,
according to unofficial reports reach
ing London.
Although confirmation is quite lack
ing, British newspapers this morning
apparently are eager to regard the re-
pert as not improbable. They refer
to the fact that news dispatches re-
ceived from Petrograd yesterday said
the surrender of this stronghold was
but a matter of u few days.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
HORN PLACED ON TRIAL

Bangor Maine. March IS. - The
claim of Werner Horn that his attempt
to destroy the international railway
bridge at Nanceboro was an act of war
figured in proceedings here before
United States Commissioner Charles
II. Reid to-day in connection with in
dictments returned against him in fed
eral court at Boston charging illegal
interstate transportation of explosives
from New York to Nanceboro.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18

Chicago, March 1S-Arthur w
Greiner has started suit against
Thomas II. Miller former member of
the Board of Trade, for $4,000 for the
alienation of the affections of his wife,
Mrs. Gladys Madolin Sykes Greiner.
Miller is believed to be in California
with his wife. His attorneys refuse to
comment on the suit, merely asserting
their client does not know Mrs.
Greiner.
The plaintiffs chief witness. who
asserted he introduced Mrs. Greiner to
Miller. has made an affidavit telling
of the doings of the couple on the
evening they met, when he was with
them.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
EARTHoUAKE REPORTED

Paris. March Is. 1.5O p. M.-There
was a slight earthquake last night at
Perpignan, a town at the eastern end
of the Pyrenees. a dispatch from
Perpignan to the Havas agency says
the shock lasted four minutes and that
no damage was done.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
100000 FOR BELGIANs

New York, March 1S-Mme. Llala
Nandervelde. wife of one of the Bel
gian ministers of state, who has OBJ
tanned in this country nearly $500. 900
for the relief of war sufferers in Bel
sium. was preparing to-day to start
for Europe after a farewell meeting
held in her honor in Carnegie Hall
last night.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
MINISTER HELD FOR ARSON

Newark. y. j., March 1S.-The Rev
Louis K. Patmont. whose home here
was burned on July .. 1912. and whose
church, the Christian Baptist Church,
was destroyed by fire on April 10. 1913.
and who was subsequently indicted for
arson. was arrested here last night
Later he was released under $500
bail
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
SUICIDE IN RAIN BARREL
Rr .4ssociated Press

Dy .TNaOtIUFtu 7 FtNN
York, Pa, March is. = Jumping
head first into a rain barrel. Mrs. Ed
ward HeItzel 63 years old, wife of an
Adams county farmer oddly COM
mitted suicide by drowning yesterday.
The womans body with only the feet
protruding was found by her husband.
She was mentally deranged.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
500, 900 DINING ROOM ON ROOF
By Associated Press

BY ASSOCIATED Press
New York. March IS. - That a
100000 dining room is to be con-
structed on top of the Standard Oil
Company's sixteen STORY office building
at 26 Broadway became known to-day
when plans for the erection of an
other story to that building were made
public The additional floor. 1t was
stated, would be used for private din
ing rooms for officials and employees of
tho cnrananN-
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1915-03-18
EXCHANGE INTEKNED woNIEN

Nish, Serbia. NIarcn IS, via London
liz p. M.-After prolonged negotia-
tions through the medium of the Span
ish legation at Bucharest the govern
ments of Serbia and Austria have
agreed to exchange interned women
irrespective of their age and men
under 1 s years and over so.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1915-08-21
HELP KEEP THE CITY CLEAN.
Regulate as to Disposal of Gar
barge Must be Observed.

All garbage must be kept in cans
or other receptacies with tops proof
against flies; and inside of premises
except on days noted below.
Garbage will be taken up by the
carts on Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday of each week, and all garbage
must be placed on the streets not la
ter than s o'clock in the morning on
those days.
In no case should garbage cans,
whether full or empty, be allowed to
remain on the streets after 7 o'clock
at night.
The throwing Of paper, refuse,
ashes, or garbage Of any kind on the
streets, and the sweeping Of paper
and trash into the cutters is absolute
" prohibited.
All sidewalks and premises must
be kept clean Of weeds and tall grass.
Violations of any of the above rules
will be punished in accordance with
the provisions of ordinance No. S of
the Commission Council Series, 1913.
WALTER LEMANN,
Commissioner of Public Health and
Safety.
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1915-08-21
CaLOMEL IS MERCURY! IT SICKENS!
ACTS ON LIVER LIKE DYNAMITE

Here's my giarantee-Go 10 any drug
store and get so cent bottle OF bod.
sons Liver Tone. Take a spoonful to-
night and if il doesn't straighten YOU
right up and make you feel fine and
vigorous BY morning | want you to 90
back 20 the store and get your money.
sale of calonej because it is real liver
medicine; entirely vegetable, therefore i
can NOS sahyate or make you sick, g
guarantee that one spoonful OF bod.
sons Liver Tons will put your sluggish
f,yar to work and clean your bowels of
thaS sour bile and constipated waste
which 10 elogging your system and max
ing you feei miserable. | guarantee that
= bottle OF Dodson's Liver Tone viii
keep your entire family feeling fine for
months. : Give ID 10 your children. q II Is
harmless; doesn't grippe and they like it's
pleasant TASTE