davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

The Hartford Posts "Posted Colyum" writer recently had something to say about "a long hospital bill" in. cured through all accidental shooting affair. which the Buffalo Evening News paragrapher picked up a joke, where upon the Hartford scribe retorts:
 Evidently, our friend who con-
 ducts the colyum of the Buffalo
 Evening News has escaped the un-
 pleasant experience of receiving a
 hospital bill, else he would not
 question this long hospital bill to
 pay.' We know"
 Quite correct. Long hospital bills, like the humps, are joke only to those who have never had them. They're not bit funny.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

That is an agreeable assurance tina comes from Hartford, where the build ing committee of the commission on removal of the School for Feeble Mind ed, at meeting in the capitol, Tues day, agreed that it might be advisable to maintain the old institution at Lake vile as well as the new one at Mans field, in view of the limited capacity of the latter and the increasing number of patients in the state.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

"How ignorant that woman is, said Mrs. Gaussip to her caller. ''She and I went to the zoo the other day and I thought would laugh out right when she called the giraffe 'carafe. The joke of it was, the animal wasn't a giraffe at all, it was a camomile. "- Boston Transcript.
 "When I sing get tears in my eyes. What can do for this ?''
 Stuff cotton in yolr eaIs. --Cli- cago Tribune. --.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

With Editor George c. Woodruff, of the Litchfeld Inquirer, in the toast masters chair at the annual banquet of the Bald Head Club of America at the Hotel Winchester, ill Winsted, October IA, there is bound to be a season of joshery and verbal sharp-shooting be- tween the throne and the bleachers that will give the shiny topped multi tude of feasters something to take home with them and impart to their friends.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
NORTH CANAAN HAS-
A population Jf 2,171, (census of 1910. )

A population Jf 2,171, (census of 1910) Two railroaas.
 National and Savings Banks. Trolley railroad extending through the Berkshires to Pittsfield and beyond. Up-to-date High School and frst-class school system
 Five churches
 First-class hotel.
 Fire department including chemical en- zine.
 Ten miles of State Roads. Electric light and power plant, Complete Sewer System. Eever-failing water supply and the best water in the state. Wide-awake Business Mems Association. Extensive lime and iron industries Fraternal and benefit societies. Brass band. Up-to-date department stores. Pure air and wholesome climate.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

"These South Sea Islanders are a queer lot. They have many things which are taboo, mustn't be touched. "
 II see nothing strange about that. It is the same principle on which We care fully plant lot of grass for people to keep off of. ."-Louisville Courier.Jour- nal.
 In the Near Future.-First Doctor Good photograph, isn't it ?"
 Second Doctor r-' Fairly go d. Flat ters ihs left lung little, I think. - Puck.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
Needs Her Name.

Mrs. Nancy Hooper, who formerly was Mrs. Damitz, is suing for diverse in the lola district court. She con- plains that there were so many things to give sufficient provocation that she wants her former name restored so she can say it agajn.-Iola Kansas Reg ister.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

It is stated, on authority of the Bridgeport Telegram, that Congressman Hill will go back to Washington a strong advocate of equal suffrage and will favor the amendment to the na- tional constitution granting women the right to vote.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
Needed Repairs.

"Does your typewriter need repairs?" asked the meandering tinker, as he entered the office.
 Ut would seem so, replied the em- ployer. "She has just gone across the street,to consult dentist.''
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
TELEPHONE: CANAAN 5e
AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM

The News should appeal with special force to the sagacious business man.
 It has an extensive circulation in Western Come cticut, and especially throughout Litch- field County and Southern Berkshire.
 It has a competent staff of wide-awake cor respondents in tue various towns to report the ocal dongs each week. and goes into the homes and is perused by the entire families of the thrifty, intelligent reading class of people whom the long headed advertiser most desires to reach.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
Repartee e.

This old one strikes Harper's Weekly as fresh enough to print ill this week $ issue:
 When the famous advocate Curran was arguing certain point before Lord Clare, his lordship, interrupted with "If that argument is correct l must burn all my law books. "
 "No, your Lordship," Curran re- piled, "you had better read them.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
Lost and Found.

Personal-Will the young lady who opened an umbrella in front of the theater the other night please look on the end of the umbrella for a mans eye?
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
MAILS CLOSE GOING-

NLOeOL UOI4NN-- North East South West 9:48 a. m. 8:13 a. nn TAI a. m 10:2O a. m. 7;03 p. m. 3;55 p. m, 2;S2 p. m. 68S D. m. MAILS OPEN FROM North East South West 8:25 a. m $50 a. III. 10:3C a. m. 800 a. m. 3:10 p. m. 100 a. III. TAO p. m. 425 D. m.
 7:15 D. m.
 Mail closes on Route No. 1, R. F. D. at 10:30 a. m. For Southfeldan Mill River at 1. p. m.
 E. l. ROBERTS, P M.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

Get Together. Pull Together. There's every reason why we should, and not single, solitary, teetotal good reason for pulling apart. Get Togeth- CT. Pull Together.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

Simp (pleased)-"You have been smiling at me all evening""
 The Dream (thoughtfullyl-"There's a mirror back of you. "-Texas Coyote
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
FAITH.
BY EMMA RoDEMEYER WATT.

Ofttimes we're burdened with grim care
 As if the world were ours, And We responsible for both
 The sunshine and the showers. If but our faith were great enough
 To say what is, is best !'' Then We would do each day its task,
 And trust for all the rest.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

A bald-headed eagle has lately made it's appearance in the vicinity of High land Lake, Winsted, according to the Citizen. It's an early bird. The bald head banquet is still month away.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

It was, Mrs. Burlington who said: Single misfortunes never come alone. '" And she was right.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

Subscribers requested to notify the pub tsher promptly of any failure to receive papers reg ulariy, changes of residence etc.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
THE NEWS AGENTS

Extra copies of The News are on sale at the oefce of publication and at
 Dempsey's Drug Store, Canaan, Post Office, East Canaan. Post Office, Falls Village, George T. Johnsons Store Norfolk H. l.. Rood Ashley Falls. A. l.. Dickinson Salisbury. J. W. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16

In the local political movie, will Smith or Peirce replace the present Reel?
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
WRITE LETTER ABOUT

Communications on subjects of general inter est to- The News readers are invited. but no attention will be paid to anonymous letters.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
Which Shall IL Be7

Written for The News. Wet town or dry town,
 Which shall it be? Booze town or bible town.
 From temptations free. Is the christian conscience blunted? Have we all become SO wonted To wet town, that we've shunted
 Our responsibility Wet town or dry town,
 Which shall it be? Church town or lurch town
 For our boys to see. Shall we set them good example, Or shall licensed ruin trample Down fresh victims, for a sample
 Of hell's industry? Good town or bad town,
 Bondage town or free? Curse town or Christ town
 For our Christmas tree? Shall we stretch across bar Guiltless hands toward Christmas stan2. Hear no voice cry from afar
 What shall your harvest be ?" Right town or wrong town?
 Wet town or dIyy Gods town, or devils town.
 GA Christian mockeTyD Is our Christian Brotherhood Nothing more than slap.stick mood While we banquet on rich food.
 Careless who may lie In some lonely cellar dim, Ghastly, horrible and grim, Empty botplss pointing him
 To Eternity. Gods town or devils town,
 LII our choice there lies Proof if we be partners in
 Runs grim tragedies. We are all our brothers keeper, Not one wretched rum killed sleeper Lying dead, meath lonely sky. Shall escape Our Fathers eye, And his soul required shall ba Of our imhumanity. Wrong town, right town,
 Which shall it beg Shall the righteous God look down
 On hypocrisy? When between our brother man.
  Bridged by bar-rooms, never ann
 We from guilt be free, And when our church chancel are Pushed behind saloon ban We have wandered very far
 Prom Christianity. When our churches stand in front. Whiskey and religion wont Mix together as they do- (Makes darn poor cocktail too
 Morally and socially.l Wet town or dry town,
 Which shall it be- A clean town, or mean town That shames both you and me. Rum and righteous don't mix; If they do, 'tis devils tricks, Gets the Christians in fix
 With sure certainty.
 Canaan, Sept. i3- No License.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
MISCELLANEOUS

WANTE )-A capable young woman far house work u a family of two. Address or telephone after Sept. II. Mrs, Lester D. Brown, hotch- kiss School. Lakeville, Conn.
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
FOR SALE

GEM LUNCH SETS-42x5B white table cover and l2 napkins to match. Made from pure sterilized paper. bc each. The Canaan Print. inc
Connecticut western news., 1915-09-16
Wet town or dry town.

WHICH sllhll lb Ds A clean town, or mean toNn That shames both you and me. Rum and righteous don't mix; If they do, 'tis devils tricks, Gets the Christians in a fix
 With sure certainty.
 Canaan, Sept. i3- No Lie
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
Three OLDS Branch
HOUSES ARE BOUGHT
Agencies Hereafter Will Be
Operated AS Independ-
emf Houses

Three branch houses of the Olds-
mobile Company have recently been
purchased from the company and in
the future will be operated as inde-
pendent agencies for Olds. cars. They
are located in Buffalo. n. Y, Los An
geles and San Francisco. Cal A high
premium was placed upon these
branches, which have been distribut-
ing cars as fast as they could get
them. and many offers we're made the
management of the Olds. Co. to take
them over; but the company would
not consent to let them go. until re-
Gently when the propositions from
distributors with practically unlim-
tied resources and far more than
ordinary business experience were
accepted. The new distributors will
handle substantially the same terri
tories and occupy the buildings for
merly owned by the branches.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19

Twin SIX BOSS
OF The FORBES ROAD

Vincent has hung up another rec
ord This time It covers the famous
Forbes road from Philadelphia TO
Pittsburgh.
The PENNSYLVANIA Dutch are still
talking about the great gray bird
that flew over the Alleghenies early
in the morning Of June is.
There are couple of toll gate
keepers with quarters and half dol
lars ingrown in the palms Of their
hands
Vincent loped up to the desk at
the Bellevue-Stratford in Phillie ON
June Is. at 5.26 a. m. He was still
yanking on his recalcitrant necktle
when he rapid-hred at the clerk:
"stampthiscard-willyou?'
We have the signature Of Charles
W. Lynch. the said clerk.
Likewise We can prove by Clerk
Ambrose. of the Hotel Schenley
Pittsburgh. that the same card wal
/ presented for stamping there at 2.4'
p. m. on June rs. hours and q
minutes later.
To the best of our knowledge thil
] is the fatest time ever made be
I tween these two cities. The vice
president OF engineering drove hi
Packard Twin Six.
Thus the mastery OF the Forbe
road. for years Packard possession
remains In the family.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
DODGE CAR SHOWS
UP WELL ON TOURS

Back from an $500 mile automobile
tour through the east. George c.
Hubbs, assistant general sales man
ager Of Dodge Brothers. has added
materially TO his store Of enthusiasm
concerning the touring qualities OF
Dodge Brothers car.
"She ran like scared deer" said
Mr.. Hubbs, referring to the car which
carried himself and four members Of
his family in a three weeks tour
through New York and New England.
"On the entire trip. | spent exactly
40 minutes in adjustments. and 1--WE
made better than schedule time on
every day of travel.
THE cars performance in the
Berkshire Mountains was a revela-
tion to me. We passed many biz
cars on steep grades and we're sell
dom forced TO shift into intermediate
gear. Only two punctures marrel
the trip and our carefully kept los
shows an average OF over is miles
to the gallon Of gasoline. Our bcs
days run was 227 miles on the las
leg OF the return trip"
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
ATHLETIC TOURNEY OF
PHILADELPHIA PRINTERS

The Athletic Association Of the
Philadelphia Typographical Union
will hold its eighth annual tourna-
ment of the Union Printers National
Baseball League from August % 10
August 2S On Sunday there will
be a concert at the Hotel Walton, and
a reception and dance will be given
at that hotel on Monday night On
Tuesday night there will be a smoker
at the Labor Lyceum, Sixth and
Brown streets. On Wednesday there
will be an excursion on a special
train to Atlantic City. Friday night
will be League Night" at the Hotel
Walton. Each day from 9 o'clock
to $50 O'Clock there will be entertain
ment features at the Athletic grounds,
Sixty-third and Walnut streets.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
@GNhxnu
tie *
9oo,ebo1,1{

Yesterdays homers: Wagner, Pirates.
of Mayer. PhilliesA Wingo. Reds, oil
Perritt, Giants; Burns Giants. oil Dale,
Reds. Phelan, Cubs, OIL Appleton,
Dodgers.
Things are coming TO a pretty pass in
Belheerent Ban Johnson's loop when Lee
Fohls Fohlies can lick sir Walter John
SON
Cobb got his usual brace Of hits. prov
ing that things are gradually resumina
their normal state.
Further proof of il is seen in the fact
that j. Honus Wagner, that precociou'
youngster, picked the old pill for sin
Gle, double and homer. besides iig
uring in double play and handling
eight chances.
Several worms turned yesterday
White SoN licked the pompous Rcd So'
and the Reds everlastingly bombarde'
the Giants.
Now if the Athletics could only win
all the worms would have turned owe
and that expression would be dead.
The Cubs rose in their wrath yester
day and smote the pennant-mad Dodg
ers, bat and glove
Both the leaders were dumped, fur
ther complcating these two old go-as
4 you.please races.
The Pirates showed a temporary ina
bel return to form by trimming th
Phils. and incidentally shortening th
gap between the Dodgers and tn
! Quakertown crew.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
CHANDLER CAR IN DEMAND.

Though organized little more than
a week ago when ii took over the
local agency for the Chandler motor
car. the Delmar Automobile Com
pany, has already sold one car and is
kept busy demonstrating this machine
morning, noon and night. Prospec-
tive buyers are surprised at the many
excellent features this car carries
and its remarkable running and hill
climbing power
The demonstrators have little diff
Guilty in convincing prospective buy
ers of the great value OF this car. A
demonstration is all that is required
10 convert the most skeptical person
to the machine. Judging from the
general interest being taken in this
car. the Delmar company expects TO
do a big business.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
GILDEA THE WHOLE SHOW.

Austin Gildea again was high with
thirty-hve points in the Delamore
playground meet yesterday afternoon.
He also broke the chinning record
with %. G. Lafferty, Delamore's
speed king, ran the 100-yard dash in
fast time. His performance. toge-
ther with Austin Gildea's. we're spec
tacular. Lafferty ran up total Of
thirty-one points.
The events follow with the winners,
in the order named.
100-yard dash (junior) r)-Lafferty,
Markle, A. Gildea.
1O0-yard dash (senior)-J. O'Don-
nell, w. Woods. J. Clark.
Wheelbarrow race-A. Gildea and
NJ. Malloy. Lafferty and J. Gildea.
Running broad (junior) Austin
Gildea. Lafferty. Merkle.
Running broad (senior) Jim NAL
10y. Mike Woods.
Standing broad (junior) r)-Jim NAL
loy.s Mike Woods.
440-yard dash-J. ODonnell and NJ.
Woods. A. Gildea and Lafferty
Ginning contest-A. Gildea. 22:
Lafferty. 16: Hutchis. 13.
Grounding contest--A. Gildea, 81;
T. Gildea. 81: NJ. Woods, 81.
High jump-Jim Malloy, Lafferty.
Relay race (iunior) "A. Gildea and
Lafferty. NJ. Malloy and r. Gildea.
Relay race (senior)-J. O'Donnell
and NJ. Woods. P. Rucker and o,
| Newell
Chicken race-O'Donnell and Laf-
/ ferty.
Elephant race-A. Gildea and
O'Donnell. Lafferty and T. Gildes.
Timers-D. Johnson, r. Duffy. OF
fetal Of course-Herbert N. Hartman
/ Starter. Bickta.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
sleeve valve MOTOR
CARS NOW IN DEMAND

The announcement OF the WHY'S
Knight car was substantial proof Of
the fact that the sleeve valve motor
is coming to its own in this country
as IL already has done abroad In
Europe. engines of the sleeve valve
type have been almost universally
adopted by the leading manufactur-
ers.
According TO those familiar with
knight motor construction. the nu-
merous advantages OF the sleeve
valve motor car he summed up la
the two words absolute dependa-
bility."
In Europe where knight motored
cars have been in use In the hands
Of the owners for the past seven
years, knight motors have shown but
! little wear even after years Of use
II is the freedom from mechanical
ills that has popularized It with mo-
/ torists.
Paul Daimler. mechanical director
of the Mercedes Company, Germany's
leading automobile concern. and sol
of Gottliob Daimler, inventor of the
internal combustion engine. is a htu
believer in the sleeve valve motor.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
BAR TWO policemen
FROM athletic PARK
Sergeant Lyons and Patrol
man Eakin Declare That
They'll Get Inside
MAY WEAR DISGUISE
TO GET BY SLEUTHS

with hut one week remaining IN
which to practice for the police Sports
and West and East Side basebaii
leams of the Police Department VIII
settle down to some hard practlce
during the next six days. III me
meantime. representatives oil the
citv's guardians who are planning 10
carry OFF the honors in the runnlns'
jumping and other events also are
trying to break records OF FORMER
years.
While several of the members OF the
force are striving to become prom
cient in knocking the horseshoe cut IN
the left garden others are sprntlhs
with a vigor befitting youth. Two
members of the local force are going
about with broad smiles These men
are Patrolmen Dan" Eakin and Ser
geant George w Lyons. Both have
received word that they will not be
allowed inside Union street grounds
next Thursday when the annual held
sports are held
To guard against any invasion OF
the grounds by these officers, mem
bers of the East and West Side teams
have commissioned several men TO
act as watchmen and every yard of
the fence will have man stationed
before it 10 keep the tabooed officers
from scaling the boards.
Sergeant Lyons, who gained admis-
sion to the grounds at the beneht
given several years ago by Disgusting
himself as a "Rube" promised to be
on hand at 23O o'clock sharp. rain
or shine. but he has so far refused to
say how he will get into the grounds.
The chances for Dan" Eakin to get
into the park are better today than
ever. as he gained the confidence of
the fremen this week by accompany
ing City Council on its annual in
spection and it was rumored last
night that the aerial ladder Of the
Delaware Fire Company would be
raised outside the grounds with
Dan" clinging to the top rung,
When the ladder reaches a certain
height Dan" is to jump with a para
chute in his hand and he counts on
sailing into the middle of the dia-
mond Just as Sergeant John f. Deven-
ish, the announcer, makes his debut
Sergeant Lyons, in discussing Tn
edict against him, today voiced In
opinion in plain language, and he issue
def TO any member of the force &
eject him from the grounds next Thurs
dav. While he refused to divulee hi
plans. he intimated that he would ha,
assistance
Patrolman Joseph Grussemeyer. VIII
usually carries OIL the pie-eating contes
honors has been practicing ON egg Gus
tard for several weeks and as resul
whenever he passes chicken-one O
the barnyard variety-on his distric
Toe feels embarrassed II is a safe bel
however that the German member wi
win the contest
John J. Riley, one of the new patro
men. has requested permission TO collec
tickets at the gate. claiming that he ha
had experience in street car work fc
several years. The request was denie'
however. as the committee claimed Ioh
had too many friends who might wan
70 get through the gate on compliment
ary tickets.
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
1Ol.ss MILEs PER HOuR.

When Resta won his famous 100
mile challenge race at Chicago. he
Immediately wired as follows: won
the 100-mile challenge race az 10435
miles per hour. used Dixon's Gra-
phite Automobile Lubricants. which
can highly recommend. -Resta"
This Is first-hand and mighty con-
vincing evidence that the lubricants
mentioned are really making good.
The hard thing for the average car
owner 10 get into his head is that
although he may not he winning
races his car is, nevertheless. in
constant need OF proper fabrication
which stands up under such severe
tests as racing When Resta can
drive a hundred miles in less than
an hour without fabrication troubles.
right there is big fact for every car
! owner
Evening journal., 1915-08-19
MOTORCYCLE RACES
At The STATE FAIR
Eight Events Are Scheduled,
With Many Prizes for
Labor Day
WILMINGTON CLUB HAS
PUT UP $500 FOR 1T

Preparations are being made by the
Wilmington Motor Cycle Club for tho
races to be held at Delaware State
Fair on Labor Day. These races are
under the rules and sanction OF the
Federation of American Motorcyclists.
Eight events are scheduled, all OF
which promise to be fast and excit-
ing
Motorcycle Race Manager William
p. Wilson, has forwarded entry blanks
to the principal clubs of the neigh
boring states and some keen outside
competition is expected. Two hun
dred dollars has been voted by the
Wilmington club TO be invested in
suitable prizes, so all that the speed
boys have TO do is to select their
prizes and then open the throttle
wide, provided that they can negO-
tiate the turns.
The following events are scheduled:
1. 3mile novice race. 30 IL Gu. in
stock. First prize. khaki suit; second,
horn; third, pair pedals.
.. smile side by side seat, 81 Gu. in.
stock First prize, Gin tire; second,
lamp; third. drive chain.
s. smile race. 30 1-2 Gu. in. stock.
First prize. lamp; second. leggins;
third, gloves.
a. smile married men, 30 II Gu.
in. stock. First prize. pair tubes; sec
ond, drive chair: third, tail light
8. Chase and pursuit race. so 1-2
Gu. in. stock. First prize, 3-in. tire.
8. Smile side car race, 81 Gu. in.
stock. First prize. 3-in. tire; second,
pair red tubes; third, electric light
outfit.
Z. 10-mile race, 80 1-2 Gu. in. stock
: First prize. tandem; second. whipcord
suit and cap; third. Klaxon horn.
S. 25-mile race, 80 1-2 Gu. in. stock.
First prize. Corbin speedometer;
4 second. tire and tube; third, leggins
and gloves.
Johnny Mountz. Wilmington's
popular speed king. is busy doping
his machine. Johns only complaint
is that they don't come fast enough. n
Jack Mullin. his racing partner and
track record holder. is looking for q
machine that will trim the rest ol
them. Charles Hayward and Bill Os
!. mond. with bucket seats. are prayini
for nice dry track Joe Starr a
I present is busy defeating all comeri
at Perry's track and has his prizes
already selected Herbert Wrigh
and John Besinger. riding Harley
Davidsons, will represent the Ches
ter Club.
The Wilmington boys are desiroul
of staging races that will appeal tC
the public. as they hope to give &
number of races before the close o.
I the season, and they feel sure tha
the meet on Labor Day will surpasl
anything of like nature ever held il
: Wilmington.
Picture frames gilded at Yerger's
e 419 Shipley.-Adv.