davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14
6 OIL. B u N K E r
The Dapper Man and His Rapier.

was just thinking. suh,' said Col
thinker a. b" finished his cocktail and
ct looking out Of the window L was
list thinking Of an incident in my carly
career "a a duelist. In fact. sub. when
TINS thing came about / had not yet
drawn my rapicr on the field of honoh.
in tn" southern town whore I first hung
"It my shinCIe as a lawyer were a dozen
IA bucks "f Young men and l was one
of ihsm
We were sports. sub. Nc rode. we
-.nnblcd. We drank. and We staggered.
We talked about our honOh. and NC took
40 advice from our elders. In these days
we'd have been arrested and jailed for
como Of the things We did. but at that
date a young man was given liberty to
SOW his Wild oats
1t was a wonder We Kept clear of the
ducllO among our own selves, for we
were hot-heads. but destiny had some
thing laid up for us. and at the proper
time We learned what it was When a
dapper little man dropped into the town
one day and gave his name as Prof.
Mayne, and explained that he was some
thing of a naturalist, we had no idea
that his coat covered Destiny
1t was about n week after the profess
sor's arrival. and none of us young blades
had made his acquaintance yet. when
six Of us sat on the tavern veranda OF
a summers evening arranging a fox
hunt. We were drinking and a bit hill
arious, when the stranger appeared
among us, and looking direstly at me he
asked:
MAY [ have the honoh of asking your
name
I gave it as Bunker. OF CO Sc
Bunker. Bunker?'' he repeated. Did
You evan spell it with an H?'
sub, sub, What do you mean" l de-
manded as / rose up.
Was the name originally Junker?"
Egad, sub. the man was deliberately
insulting me-
Il have always thought carried things
my hat, handed him my card and turned
away. He received it with a bow and
also turned.
There you were. suh-there YOU were,
y duel for sunrise was arranged for with
IN an hour. and I was a hero. The pro-
fessoT made a choice of rapiers as weap-
ons and that suited me very well.
Could a professor Of natural history
handle n rapier like a young buck who
was always at Il?
No, OF co'se not. and 7 should play
with him. Should I kill or only wound
settled after he blades had crossed. The
most / had to fear. as my friends told
me. and as / firmly believed myself WAS
that the professor would either send
an AFFECT apology or sneak away during
the night lie did neither, however. but
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14
BOWSER'S APPENDICITIS
HE EXPECTS 1T ALONG ANY MINUTE

When Mr. Bowser awoke the other
morning he heaved a long sigh.
When he got out of bed he groaned.
AS he dressed himself he had visions
of Sraveyards and weeping willows.
When he came down stairs he intend
ed to tell Mrs Bowser that the end Of
things for him was near, but something
happened to prevent. He saw her look
ing at him in an ironicRI way, and with
out the slightest note of pity. 1t cut
him to the quick. She must know that
he was suffering, and yet she could make
game of him.
Mr.. Bowser braccd up like bent bow
springing back.
He took his seat at the table as its
master should
He ate with a dignity becoming Bow
ser.
When he had finished the meal he rose
and departed for the office without I'M
bending. As he came home at the usual
evening hour he shifted and snuffed at
the atmosphere of the hall and observed:
L should say you had a boiled dinner
waiting"
One of the best you ever ate replied
Mrs. Bowser.
That's Very nice OF you. I'm sure; but
unfortunately for me. cannot partake
of tt"
But why"
II got a Iitt" warning today that
think best TO heed"
What sort Of WPrning?"
DR.. MRCelresdy was in tho office on
some business, and hearing me utter an
involuntary Croan as | rose up, he began
TO question me II wasn't five minutes
before he announced that | would have
to be very careful or fall a victim to
appendicitis. He said had all the symp-
toms of 1t"
Il don't believe any such talk. Mr.
BOWser, I haven't heard You groan in
voluntarily or otherwise. for a year. Did
he charge YOU fee for telling YOU this -
He made no charge. but naturally"
Naturally YOU went and handed him
over at least 3. while ! am in need Of
dozen different little things, You have
no more cause to be afraid or appendi-
Cttis than ] have Of the Indian plague
Why do you let people work YOU like
this?''
Softly. now-softIy.' he said as he led
the way to the dininS-room instead OF
shouting woman at her. Mrs Bow
ser, ] cannot bc Chased as an alarmist.
thousands of things have allied nc. and
have never said word to you about
them I wasn't going to say n thing in
this case. but being put on diet by the
doctor. / had to make some explanations.
I have known for months and months
that the appendicitis was after me. ]
have figured that when it overlook me
at last l would make sneak for the
hospital and have the onGratiOn perform
cd before you knew anything about il.
That is the way with me. l do my own
worrying and planning"
Well. what symptoms have you felt:''
she asked.
Pains in the back. roaring in the head.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14

Mine and a halfT'
''Silas went away. and Ehen died. and
a year later Silas was called to go. When
lie realized IL. he said TO his wife:
Martha, don't let anybody blum YOU
when I'm gone. It's ten miles to Cat
Hin and you stick to It II you have to
live on cold 'taters."
I'll do It, Silas.'' she answered.
II don't know II I'll meet Eben where
I'm goin', but I kind OF expect to, and
durn my buttons IL 1 don't stick out fur
ten Iniles,"
In a day or two he was dead and
buried, and as the usual crowd met at
the postoffice in the evening the talk
was all about the two men and their life
long dispute. Some said one was right
and some said the other. There was a
stranger present. and by and by he
pricked up his ears and asked:
WAS you folks talking about the dis
lance to Cat IIiu%'
We was" says Moses Campbell. and
he goes on to explain about Eben ans
Silas
Nv hy. they were both blamed idiotsr'
says the stranger. when he had the facts
in hand Pm the man who opened and
surveyed that road. and it's jest exactly
nine and three-quarters Of mile lonSr'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14

piano. Then nc started down the hall
and put on his hat
Are You going OUT was asked.
I'm going after Il quart Of milk
drink. I may also talk with the druggist
if he isn't busy. ! am sure he would
help YOU about the funeral arrange
ments.
Mrs. BOwser was glad TO have him go.
She knew the druggist was a blunt
spoken man and would diagnose the ease
pretty speedily. SHE therefore ran into Il
nCiGhbOrs for an hour. Mr.. BowsCr made
his way to the druggists, and not finding
him rushed. he began:
DOC. take Il careful look at my face.
will you?''
Cert Thinking of trading it OF for
a new one"
Does my phiz tell you anything
Not much. 1t never did. The yellow
streaks under your eyes show that you
are bilious.
What do pains in the hack signify"
rheumatism, generally"
And roaring in the head
A cold
And when your teeth seem too long"
"A little neuralgia in the Jaws. Why,
what DO you think ails your
Il was told by a doctor this morning
that those symptoms heralded an attack
Of appendicitis
Herald your grandmother! Somebody
has been ma--ing a fool of you again.
l on may have appendicitis some day,
but It won't come on that way. What
did the so-called doctor tell you to do?'
Drink milk and water" sighed Mr..
D" "Yon ought to be kept on that diet
for the rest of your natural life. Didn't
Mrs Bowser say the fellow was a hum
bug?'
Well-er-yOu know
''Of course she did, and of course he
is. Go home and eat n hearty dinner.
Eat as much as you want tomorrow, and
then take some Calomel. Say, man, If
you hadn't the wife you have somebody
would get the socks of your feet
Mr.. BOwser didn't jaw back. He was
too elated. Ten minutes later the cook
was heaping the remains or that boiled
dinner on the table, and he was eating
like a Michigan lumberman. Mrs. Bow
ser came home and surprised him at ii.
3 well, you saw the druggist she
queried as he refillcd his plate.
THE druggist? What about
Il hadn't heard anything about being
threatened"
But you gave up 3 to a fool of a
doctor this morning to tell you to live
on milk and water diet for the next
four days"
MY dear woman" said Mr.. Bowser
betwee0 huge bites. please go away. You
are laboTing under a Authorization. You
havA~SomehOw got me mixed up with
your Uncle Joe or your brother Sam. Go
away while 1 get a few mouthfuls to
eat"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14

was so wrought up over it that he shed
tears. 1t was rapiers again. I rode to
the grounds to see the duel. Joe went
at il from the first like a butcher with
a long knife. and was disarmed every
other minute He got so mad that he
cried like a boy.
1T was the same old story-wounded
in the same shoulder.
Three smart bucks. Three duels.
Three arms in three sings.
Three of us trying to explain why 1t
wasn't the other fellow who was pinked.
1T was humiliating, sun, and yet 1t
was the proper remedy. II broke up the
cabal and settled us down to take a more
serious view of life. AS to the professor,
he wasn't a naturalist at all, but ia
NOUS fencer, and believe he was hired
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14
A VILLAGE TALE

and that it keeps him crazy because he
can't make but nine and a half miles
Of it,
The two men never came to blows. but
they never net without trying TO hurt
each others feelings. II one favored
anything the other opposed it, and they
were contrary in politics, religion and
all public improvements. One day Eben
got buried in his well by a cavern, and.
though Silas helped to dig him out, the
chance was one to say:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14

bated breath that an ostrich covers thir-
teen feet Of ground at every stride when
in full flight. The clock licked, the
silence grew deeper, and the cricket on
Dolby suddenly laid aside his paper,
stretched his arms and legs, with a ''Ho-
hum and looked around to find Mrs.
Dolby asleep in her chair. She hadn't
gone to join the anGels-not yet,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14

OVER AIAS y
will make him turn TO the truth in the
future and admit it's ten miles to Cat
Hill"
. 1t wasn't fohr weeks after that when
as he lay there all nattened out Ebep
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14

by those who wished US well 20 come
there and administer the remedies our
systems seem to require.
That's ALL sub, and it's fine day,
sub, and if"
But the waiter was already bringing It!
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
Ranley'S Shoe Shop Topples Over

While the proprietor was talking to a
japanese customer early Monday morn
ing, the shoe shop of Chris Ranley on
Second street. just opposite the!post-
office, without warning, toppled to one
side. The underpinning at the rear of
the building had apparently rotted
away, and allowed it to settle down
over foot. MIR. Ranley, declaring
that he thought of the frightful calam-
tiles o. the European war. let out a
shrek and started for the door. The
japanese boy, too, was frightened and
gave vent to some CALCULATIONS in his
own language.
S. f. Bartmess witnessed the settling
of the building from the door of the
postoffce. Sheriff johnson happened
along and the two of them proceeded
to interview MIR. Ranley.
al think the accident was caused
from a collection of gas and hot air in
the front of the shop" said MIR. Bart
mess. No." replied MIR. Ranley, ex-
citedly, IL was standing here talking
to a customer, when it happened. "
That's just it" declared Mr.. Bart
mess. and Mr.. Rsnley laughed as he
saw they were joshing him.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
Notice OF Sheriff's Sale.

BY virtue of an execution duly issued by the
Clerk of the Circuit Court of the County of
Mu.tnomah, State OF oregon, dated the 26th
day of March, 1915, In certain action in the
Circuit Court for said County and State where
In Lipman, Wolfe Il Co., a corporation, as
plaintiffs recovered Judgment against Wen
dell s. POulson and Frances j. PoulsOn, his
wife, for the sum of Two Hundred Thirty six
dollars and thirty.seven cents, less the sum
OF 5000 realized on the within judgment
March IS, 1915, and costs and disbursements
taxed at Nine dollars and seventy cents, on
the 18th day of March, 1915.
Notice Is hereby given that will on the Dth
Gay OF April, 1915, at the front door of the Court
House In Hood River In said County, at 10
O'Clock in the forenoon of said day, sell at
public auction to the highest bidder for cash,
the following described property towit:
All of Section Sixteen N6) Township One ~
North of Range Eleventh. J. East OF willamette
Meridian, excepting the southwest quarter of
the southwest quarter; and levied upon as the
property of the said Wendell =, Pouson and
Frances j. Poulson or so much thereofas may
be necessary to satisfy the said judgment in
favor of Lipman, Wolfe 4 Co., corporation,
against said Wendell s. Poulson and Frances
j. Poulsou with interest thereon, together
with all costs and disbursements that have or
may accrue.
THoS. +. JOHNSON,
api.ap2g Sheriff
Dated At Hood River, oregon, April /, 1915.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22

Nancy Martin and Nellie a.
Llpscomb, Plaintliis
VS., |ISUMMpNS
H. u. HowellS and Rosa l.
Howells, sometimes known a.
Rosa y. IIowels, Defendants,
TO Il. d. Howells and Rosa l.. Howells, some.
times known as Rosa = Howeils defendants
above named;
In the name of the State of oregon, you are
hereby required to appear and answer the
complaint filed against you In the above en-
titled court and cause within six (6l weeks
nom the first publication of this summons,
tO.wit on or before the 20tn day OF April, 1915,
and II you fail to appear and answer said
complaint for want thereof, the plaintiffs will
apply to the court for the relief demanded in
their complaint, towiE 10 quiet the title TO
the real property described IN said complaint,
t0-wit:
Beginning at point 10 rods east of the n.
". corner of section 10, IN Township >, North
of Range. 10 T. of Willamette Meridian; run
ming thence East 20 rods; and thence South
80 rods; thence west 20 rods, and thence North
80 rods To place of beginning, excepting out of
said tract one acre conveyed for school pur-
poses and described as follows: Commencing
at point where the south line of the county
road along tine north side Of Section 10 afOre-
said intersects the east line OF the W. OF n.
W., of said Section 10: thence south along
said east line ~ 6.7 rods thence west rods;
thence north - 6-1 rods to the south line of
said county road; thence east along the south
line of said county road to the place of begin
ming, leaving In the tract hereby conveyed
nine acres more or less
And enjoining you and each of you, forever
from making, or asserting any claim right,
title interest or estate In or to said described
real property, or any part thereof
This summons Is served upon you by publ,
cation in accordance with an order made by
the Honorable W. l.. Bradshaw, Judge of the
above entitled court, and dated on the lst
daY of March, lglh
CAEE& CAKE
Attorneys for Plaintiffs
First publication March nth, 1915.
Last publication April 22nd, 1915. mll.a22
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
Of Local Interest
Some People We Know, and We VIII
Profit by Hearing About Them

This is purely local event.
1t took place in Hood River.
Not in some faraway place.
You are asked to investigate it.
Asked to believe a citizens word.
To conform a citizens statement.
Any article that is endorsed at home
Is more worthy of confidence
Than one you know nothing about,
Endorsed by unknown people.
81 suffered from gravel for four or five
months from backache," says Mrs. A.
Samuel, of 1910 Seventh St, Hood River
"When | heard of neighbor having
used Doan's Kidney Pills with good re-
suits, gave them trial. Less than
one box fixed me up all right and have
not had any trouble since. am glad
to confirm what | said about Doan's Kid.
ney Pills, when | recommended them
some years ago
Price SOC, at all dealers. Don't simply
ask for a kidney remedy-get Doan's
Kidney Pills-the same that Mrs. Samuel
had. Foster MiIburn Co., Props, Buf.
falo, New York.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
PORTLAND CONGRE-
GATIONALISTS COMING

The nineteenth annual meeting of
the Portland Association of Congrega-
tional churches will be held at the RiV-
erside church here next Tuesday and
Wednesday. All Congregational church
es Of the Rose City will send delegs-
tions, the members of which will be
entertained by the local church folk.
Trips through the valley orchards have
been planned. The following program
has been arranged:
Tuesday afternoon, April 27
Organization, W. II. Meyers.
LIS Devotional exercises conducted
by A. c. Moses. .
Las Preliminary business, report OF
nominating committee.
2 Woman's hour, address by Mrs.
r. Lucky, "Woman's Work in the
Home Land"
2.l5 Address by Miss Henrietta
Brewer.
8 "Our Home Missionary work, &:
+. Paddock, and "0ur Sunday School
work." j. II. Matthews.
4 Special music by the children's
choir of Riverside church.
4.l5 Business.
Tuesday evening
7.45 Praise service with special
music by the Riverside choir.
8. A recognition service for the
pastor of the church, Anthony 5. Do
nat; (a) Sermon by Luther X. Dyott;
(b) Fraternal Message to the COngre-
CATION, f. S. Bollinger; (c) Fraternal
Message to the Pastor, A. G. Moses.
Wednesday morning, April 2S
9 Devotional exercises and Bible
exegesis conducted by A. G. Moses.
$50 "The Churches" symposium led
by w. II. Meyers on Zone Of Our Best
Achievements During the Year. =.
1915 "The Task of Leadership, y
F. Naples.
1926 Discussion led by d. T. Thom-
as.
IL "Our Responsibility for the God
Consciousness. G. N. Edward.
IL 1.-THE Kindling of Our Altar
Fires" A Binkhorst.
Wednesday afternoon
Las A "Desired Revival for my
Church, J. W. McCollum.
2.05 Discussion led by F. Meyers.
2.30 Woman's Hour, Miss Brewer.
3.15 "Our Young People," (a)
Their Opportunity" c. Johnson; (b)
Equipment in Order to Meet it," j.
Hopp.
3.45 General discussion.
"The Beauty Of Hood River Coun-
ty." 1t speaks for itself.
Wednesday evening
7.45 Praise service.
8 Tenor Solo, (by request) Frank
w. German.
$40 "The Continued Mission Of
CongregationaIism," (a) "The Minis
ter Keeping Right with Cod" F. Will
lam; (b) "Inspiration From our Fore
fathers" G. E. Paddock; (cl "0ul
Present Day Machinery" J. j. Staub
I'D 1.-The Goal of Effort" Frank W
German.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
PEALER TAKES u. s.
SEPARATOR AGENCY

When P. G. Ross, eastern Oregon
representative of the United States
Cream Separator Co., was here last
week he appointed Howard W. Pealer,
owner of one of the largest dairy herds
in the valley and an active booster of
the local creamery, of the board of di-
rectors of which he is a member, as
local agent. Mr.. Pesler declares that
he could consistently take the agency
for the separator and boost its sales.
81 can speak in sincerity about the
merits of the machines" he says, "for
owned hand power machine for 10
years. Two years ago | traded it off
for a motor driven United States separ-
ator. Both have given the best re-
suits.
Mr.. Pealer has already been up and
doing and has sold machines to the fol-
lowing: Mrs. d. H. Sears, j. |. Miller
and William A. Miller. 81 have a num-
ber of sales in course of being closed, "
he says.
Mr.. Pealer is booster for the dairy
and hog business in Hood River county.
He says the creamery is going to make
the orchardists of the community real
ize the worth of cream check.
"Whle it seems rather low to US of
Hood River who have to feed our cows
more now than in the fall and winter,
the local creamery is paying three
cents more per pound for butter fat
than Portland" he says. "rhis low
price is caused on account of the cheap
feed in the Willamette valley and Cali
fornia. The dairymen there do not
have to feed their cows now. They
merely turn them out to grass and
drive them up at night.
Hood River COW owners should
make every effort to have their cows
come fresh in the fall; tor it is then
they will get the most for their fat and
still be at least expense for feed. "
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
HikerS Flag Fast Train

A good story on the young ladies who
walked to Mitchell Point Sunday be-
fore last for breakfast, the party being
composed of Misses Mae Davidson,
Media Carter, Mildred Huxley, Mari
whitman Whitehead, Grace Kerr and
Madge Otis. has been just been told.
The young ladies missed the Pendleton
express of the O.-W. r. & NJ, which
stops on flag for passengers at Sonny,
the Mitchell Point station. They made
inquiries as to whether the noon linn
tied train would stop for them. Efforts
were made to get members of the San
difer- Clarkson crew to flag the fast
train. They refused, and the girls
themselves brought the big limited to
stop.
The members of the train crew were
prone to get little annoyed, but the
young ladies refused to brook such be-
havior. They treated all to cigars, and
later last week. box of the best Hood
River apples was left for them at the
local station. The train crew now de-
clares that the Hood River girls can
get anything they want.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
Notice for Publication.

Department Of the Interior, l. :. Land OF,
flee at The Dalles, Oregon, March 2Srd, 1915
Notice Is hereby that Alice l., Roberts Alice
/. Roberts RawsOn formerly, Of Parkdsle,
Oregon, who, on June 9TH, l9OS, made Home
stead Entry No. l6O6S, Serial NoNtS, for SCI .
Section lS, Township South, Range East
willamette Meridian, has flied notice of IN
tention to make final hve year proof To eS-
tabliSh claim 10 the land above described,
before E.A Bishop, L U.S.CommiSSiouer. al Hood
River, oregon, ON the 9th day of May, 1918.
Claimant names as witnesses: Peter J MOhr,
susie Mohr, Charles +. Mcintosh, Edward Dres.
ser Robert OReilly, all, of Parkdale, oregon,
II. FRANK WOOpCOCK,
m2S.ap3a Register
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
Notice for Publication.

Department of the Interior q, y Land OF
fice at Ths Dalles, oregon, March 10Th, 1915.
Notice is hereby given that Grover c. MeKee
of Park kdale, oregon, who, on October 7th, 1903
made Homestead Entry, No. 05376, for NEl4
NEl4, Section 30, Township South, Range 10
East, Willamette Meridian, has filed notice OF
intention TO made final three year proof, to
establish claim To the land above described
before f, "a. Bishop, U. 5. Commissioner, al
Hood River, Oregon, on the eth day of April
1915
Claimant names as witnesses: Alvah Hard
man, Cyrus Sparks Edward o. McCoon, VII
liam Keeling, all. Of Parkdale oregon.
II. FRANK WOODCOCK,
m2-ap2g Register
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-04-22
COMBINED CLUBS TO
HOLD CHAUTAUQUA

Members of the Woman's club are
eagerly looking forward to the all day
meeting of the combined clubs of Un-
derwood and White Salmon, WASH.
and the local organization here at IL
brary hall on next Wednesday. The
event is termed chautsuqua meeting,
and an interesting program has been
arranged for. A basket dinner will be
served.
Mrs. Aristene Felts, president of the
Oregon Mothers Congress, addressed
the members of the local club at their
regular meeting Wednesday of last
week relative to the work of the Par
ent- Teacher Associations in Oregon.
Other numbers on the program were as
follows: Mrs. Alberta jackson Gillian,
of Portland, vocal solo; Miss Florence
Wiedrick, of Portland, piano selection,
and Miss Miriam Flagler, piano selec-
finn