The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-11-13
The Mixed ouarrette.

The Mixed Quarsette.
To arms, To arms. - Hear Teddy cry,
IRE IRE some one smites US hip and thigh"
nay, turn the other cheek, pleads Bryan,
AT universal peace well try EN-
Then woodrow states, Lets watch and
wait
And calmly. deeply. mediate"
There's too much talking here by half.
And nothing doing, rumbles Taft
Now. gentle reader what. we pray,
Have we, the people, left to say.
1t is our prediction that present eff
forts to chuck the Old Testament out
of the Bible will fail. Persons will
continue to believe only that part of
the Bible which pleases them. but the
Bible. just as it is, will continue being
the best seller
We don't pretend TO be up on eu-
genics but we are for them if they will
breed out the trait that makes men
come into your office and wipe their
shoes on your leather bottomed chair
So far as we are concerned our
house will never observe the custom
of favoring each lady guest with a
rose
If a vote of the small boys were
taken the choice as to the most desir-
able job in town would lie between the
chauffeur to the chief of police and
chauffeur to the chief of the fire de-
partment-
When two men talk about subject
upon which they agree they interrupt
each other just as much as if they
were arguing
The way to tell whether man be-
longs to the haute monde or to hoi
po1loi is to watch and see whether he
splits in the shoe backing.
The consensus Of opinion seems to
be that Shirola makes the best smell
ing shine
Our idea of nothing to drink is
weak tea corrupted with lemon juice.
Those of US who read some time ago
an article in the esteemed s E. P by
VIM H Taft on the suffrage question,
and for which he was duly PANIED by
certain local organizations, can now
sit back and say that We knew all the
time it was prophecy OF what was
coming in the recent elections in the
east Also there is food for reflection
in this for some people who have be-
moaned the lack of political sagacity
in this same eX-president-
Why is it that two women with
babies can not pass each other on the
street without looking back2
We contend that no show is worth
81.
If YOU let him talk long enough,
every golf player will tell you of the
time 4 bail driven by him accidentally
killed a bird
These chilly mornings we congratu-
late ourselves that we are not women,
and can wear all the clothes we need
As a solution of the squabble over
ion
that he be turned over to the state
which inflicts capital punishment
There never is time that a person
would not rather be doing something
else.
1t is our contention that no county
commissioner in Kansas has ever seen
a good road It would be good in
vestment to gather them all together
and send them on an educational tour
TO other states
We don't know why. but we have
always had an ambition to own a pair
of tailor made shoes
We have seen much advertising to
that effect, but have never yet in
actual practice seen man play foot
bali or baseball or run a hurdle race
in a knitted union suit
The meanest man is the one who
the barber shop by changing numbers
with the man ahead of you
The Labor Agitator is for any kind
of labor, but work
If your pencil will stick behind your
ear it is a sign you need a hair cut.
Every man has a sneaking idea that
he would be better looking in nose
glasses
wanted-In order to keep up with
the procession this department. will
give a handsome Autograph of a
kitchen cabinet to the first person
sending prepaid to us a photograph
of President Wilson's fiancee taken at
the age of six months in wash bowl
in the clothes she was born in
without wishing to inject this
country into any international en-
tanglements, we still contend that the
fried sausage is superior to the cold
mutton chop
One of the pleasing features of pub
lie service is that after the town bore
has been elected from every other
place he can come into your office and
work on you as long as he wants to
without fear of personal iuiurv