davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
WHERE THE INCHES COUNTED
British Statesman's Remarkably Neat
Retort to chairman's Shaft
of "Wit."

Lloyd-George's wit on the platform
is well known, but here is one of the
neatest retorts he ever made.
He was addressing meeting in
South Wales, according to Pearson's
Weekly, when the chairman, thinking
to be witty at the chancellors expense,
remarked to the audience that he was
little disappointed in Lloyd-George's
appearance.
Il had heard SO much about Mr.
Lloyd-G George," he said, that l nat
uralIy expected to meet big man in
every sense; but, as you can see for
yourselves, he is very small in stat
ure."
Many an orator would have been
grievously upset by such an unfortu-
nate beginning to the proceedings, but
not so Lloyd-G George.
Il am grieyed to find" he said, with
mock seriousness, that your chairman
is disappointed in my size, but this is
owing to the way you have here of
measuring man. In North Wales we
measure man from his chin up, but
you evidently measure him from his
chin down."
After that the chairman made nc
more personal remarks.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
AGENTS WANTEn
W. N. u, BALTIMORE, NO. s1-1si'
BEATING the Bakers.

'Oh, l am almost tired to death!"
said the woman who spends half her
time addressing club meetings. Our
political economy club has been in
session all day passing resolutions
and drawing up petitions demanding
law regulating the price of bread.
Only think! Three dollars worth of
flour costs, when baked into bread,
$13. It's outrageous. Wen soon all
be bankrupt The bakers must be-
made to feel the power of the law.
You should have been at the meet
ing"
, q couldn't come, was too busy"
said the calm-faced woman
Busy on club day? What ON
earth at?"
Baking bread" said the calm
faced woman.-New York Times.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30


may be an island of moss--the moss
can be bought in the florists shop or
in a Japanese shop. or you can get it
in the woods. Seeds can be bought
for little plants that grow in a week
or SO, and tiny dwarfed trees can be
bought. There are little lamp posts
and garden lanterns and there are
bird houses set on wicket gates, and
there are tiny japanese figures made
of clay or porcelain. fishes, birds,
deer, fitted with wires to thrust into
the ground to hold them upright and
all have remarkable lifelike look.
For dollar you can buy enough fit
tings to make simple garden but
having spent one you wifi become
fascinated with the miniature thing
and spend more.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
TIMELY SUGGESTIONS

Watch the tender greenhouse plants
that are in the open and take them up
before the last days Of summer have
passed.
Have the pots ready for the bulbs,
which must be taken up soon.
Insects will now begin to attack the
scarlet runner and other flowers of
that nature, and they must be careful
ly watched.
The dahlias, gladioli, viburnum and
other rank-growing plants are likely to
be blown down by the wind and should
be staked.
Unless the chrysanthemums are
shaded during the hot months they
will be injured by the sun.
Drench the ground around the tea
roses, but do not spray the bush.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
INEXPENSIVE SULPHUR BATHS
AT H0kM

People travel long distances and
spend large sums of money to secure
the benefits of sulphur springs and
baths because for generations sulphur
has been known to be one of natures
most valuable curatives unequalled as
q blood purifier. BY dissolving 2 to 4
tablespoonfuls of Hancock's Sulphur
Compound in a hot bath you get the
same effect and your system absorbs
the sulphur through the pores Of the
skin. For prickly heat and summer
skin troubles of infants and children
use teaspoonful of the Sulphur Com
pound in bowl of warm water This
makes refreshing bath and quickly
RIleviates the pain. Sold by all deal
ers, Soc bottle. Hancock Liquid Sui
phur CO., Baltimore, Md.-Adv.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

man advised me to try Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound and I got
bottle. felt better the next month so
/ took three more bottles Of it and got
well SO could work all the time. I
hope every woman who suffers like did
viii try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. Mrs. P. w. .I4ANsENG, Box
8, Allyn, Wash.
Why will women continue to suffer day
In and day out or drag out sickly, half
hearted existence, missing three -fourths
Of the joy Of living, when they can find
health in Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound?
For thirty years it has been the stand
ard remedy for female ills, and has re-
stored the health of thousands Of women
who have been troubled with such all
ments as displacements, inflammation,
liberation, tumors, Irregularities, etc.
II you want special advice write to
Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co. (c0nfl-
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter win
be opened, read and answered by .
woman and held in strict confidence
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
REL liable PAINTER WANTED

We nave wonderful new paint which will
mot peel, blister, crack or chalk. Costs 20c
less per gal, and covers l5T more surface than
any other paint. IL is the only all-zinc paint
made brittle-proof and crack-proof by our
secret process, this accounting for its extreme
whiteness, durability, permanent gloss and
non-fading colors. We call it Zinolin, the
"Arnold-ized" Zinc, and viii advertise it wide
". We want painters in each town whom we
can certify TO house-owners and architects as
dependable in applying ZinoIin-- painters who
will use Zinolin when called for, and not some
thing else. To be our Certified Painter will
mean bigger, steadIer business for you. II you
can get the appointment you should at once.
Write for particulars, sending references.
KEYSTONE vAREsH CO., 70 0tssgs Street, Broukiyn.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

at the edges. II badly affected. strip
the leaves from the plants and burn
them.
Rose plants will take no hurt from
this method, but some plants cannot
stand being disleaved, and must be
sponged With soap-suds, leaf by leaf.
hand hot.
Frequent Swinging of the whole plant
with clear water will keep down many
pests.
Asters suffer from root-lice, which
invariably kill them in a short time,
If undisturbed These lice also affect
ehrysanthemums, clematis and like
plants. Where these pests are at
work there will be ants also.
To destroy the lice draw the soil
away from the roots and soak the
earth with solution of good soap
and quite warm almost hot-water
or tobacco tea. The ants will leave,
then the aphis are killed
Hand-picking seems the only rem
edy for the blister bug and it must be
attended to several times a day.
Sometimes a sprinkling with Persian
Dalmatian powder will rout them, but
only temporarily, as it soon loses its
strength, and they will return.
The insect powder must be show
cred on the plant with the powder gun
which comes with the powder, and
fresh powder used every time; this
will kill every bug it touches, but it
must touch the bug.
Earring the plant or vine will cause
the beetles to drop instantly to the
ground, and they must be stamped
or beaten to death at once, or they
will make off rapidly, only to return
in an hour or so
Their season is July, August and the
first half Of September, and they are
voracious eaters, soon stripping the
plant. In appearance they are long,
slim, grayish black, the grown ones be-
ing about an inch in length.
They soon ruin clematis, golden,
glow and many other plants.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
Mean pisposition.

Before engaging rooms ia your
house" said the bachelor, Il want to
know if there are any families with
crying babies staying here. ?
I'm afraid there is, replied the
Iandlady; "but we"
Well, / was just going to say con
tinued the other, that il there are,
want you to put me in the room next
ta theirs. / want to wake up In the
night and hear their trouble, SO that
/ can congratulate myself again that
I'm not married"
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
FIGHT THE INSECT PESTS

For the little white fly, use sulpho-
tobacco soap according to directions
on the package. For rose bugs, in the
evening place two or three ounces Of
quassia-chips Ito be had of the drug
gist) in pail, and fill with boiling
water two or three gallons accord
ing to size of pail
Let stand until next morning. then
apply the liquid to the plant with a
garden syringe. getting the tea on
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

all sides of the foliage and stems. II
the tea is applied hand hot it will be
more effective.
A strong soap suds made of any
good white soap, if applied quite
warm, is discouraging to the bug popu-
Ilation, and is especially good" for
the green louise or aphis.
Red spiders affect the outdoor as
well as indoor plants in droughty
weather, and are usually found on
the under side of the foliage. causing
the leaves to turn brown and to curl
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
Not Guilty.

Hey, you big busher!" yelled an
excited fan as the pitcher of the home
team issued his fourth successive base
on balls, forcing runner across the
plate. Where did you learn to pitch?
In correspondence school?"
If the pitcher heard, he made no
sign, but another spectator sitting
near the excited one administered
stinging rebuke.
"You talk like a fish," he said
scornfully. What makes you think
that dub ever learned to pitch any
where?"
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
in SUCH PAIN
WOMAN CRIED
Suffered Everything Until Re
stored to Health by Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BE Compound.
Florence, So. Dakota. go I used to be
very sick every month with bearing

dow n pains and
backache, and had
b eadache q good
deal of the time and
very little appetite.
The pains were so
bad that I used to
sit right down on the
floor and cry, be-
cause it hurt me so
and I could not do
any work at those
times An old uU0-
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
Charity.

II hates desc suspicious guys" said
the panhandler
What have dey been doin' to you
now" asked his friend
"A gink gives me dime dis morn
in to git somethin to eat, and den he
follers me into a restaurant and
watches me spend it,
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
MIDSUMMER HELPS

Keep the seed-pods picked on. If you
want flowers.
Mysosis will succeed in hottest sun
shine If seeds are picked on.
Look over the grounds and gather
up the mistakes for reference.
Treat the lilac shoots as weeds. Cut
on all seed-pods II you want flowers
next year.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
THE JAPANESE GARDEN

If you object to anything diminu-
tive and that needs attention, then
you will not care for a Japanese gar
den. But If you like things Japanese,
if you delight in tiny things that have
all the charm of their huge proto-
types, if you like to have something
growing under your eyes then you
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
One Exclamation.

Rankin--I wonder how wrist watches
came to be fashionable?
Phyle-I suppose it is because the
small amount of goods used in modern
gowns does not permit of pockets.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
S. Pair of S1spSg STs4s;sg Free

To introduce our line quickly. we offer to
One Lady in Each Town pair of beau
tiful Ecru Marquisette Window Curtains,
absolutely free. Write at once for full par
ticulars to THE HAGER COMPANY,
PREMIUM DEPT, SOUTH BEND, IND.
Cut this QUIT may not appear again.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
After 4 Catch.

A man with a small mesh net was
seen returning to his bungalow.
Been out after the speckled beau
ties?" asked neighbor.
mo, I'm going in after mosquitoes, !"
replied the net bearer, with vengeance
in his tones
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

will soon become a devotee Of the
miniature Japanese garden or land
scape.
After you have selected something
to hold it--a dish can be bought for
few cents-plan the garden. There
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

It isn't what you say but how you
say it that makes a woman either
your friend or your enemy.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

Contrary to the general belief, flies
do not pay particular attention to
baldheaded men.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30
Municipal Research Chickens.

Farmer-These are chickens.
City Guest-I presume one breed
lays scrambled eggs and the other
fried.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

If the man who gives advice freely
knew it was good he would probably
use 1t himself.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

A tombstone always has a good
word for a man when he's down
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

The average brass band is harmless
until it begins to play.
The midland journal., 1915-07-30

Dogs are not dentists, but they Oft
en- insert teeth.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04
GERMAN SUFFER
Continued From Page One

feature of the campaign. The Frenet
troops have now reached the highea
points on the ground north of Perths
and Beausejour and must be drawing
near positions from which they will b
able TO shell the branch railway that
runs TO the rear Of the German line aai
maintains communication between ihs
German forces before Rheims and Yer
dun.
There has been fighting at other poina
but none to compare in importance witt
that in Champagne
With the allied fleet again bombardas
the Dardanelles. and the Russians push
ing their offensive in the Caucasus, ns
Near East is again coming into tr
limelight. The Russians have scored .
distinct success by the capture OF th
Turkish port of khopa on the Black ss-
from which the Turkish army in the Cav
casus drew part of its supplies, unos'
which entered the Dardane!les and ar
bombarding the interior forts, some d.
the fleet are throwing shells Overland
into the Gulf of Saros, so that the Turk
ish Garrisons will be subjected to fr
from two sides. The Turks are coneen
trating strong forces for the defence o.
Constantinople. The success or failur
OF the Allies attempt to open the straits
means much to the Balkan nations.
The King of Greece has called grand
council for full discussion Of the ST.
uation. The Chamber later will hear IT,
report of the council.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04

Miss Olive Fowler entertained Miss
Alice Raynes several days last week.
Miss Rose I.amson of West Windsor
was recent caller at H. G. Dickey's.
Ina Sabin. who has been visiting his
brother Linwood, returned to Augusta
Tuesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. II. Hodgkins of Riv-
erside were visitors Sunday of Mr.. and
Mrs. c. NJ. Dickey.
H. G. Dickey attended the funeral of
the late L. S. Forrest Thursday at Riv-
erside.
Ralph Dickey of Bates College and
friend, Welcome Mccullough, enjoyed
the week end with the formers parents
and also called on other relatives in the
place. ..s- .-..
Miss Helen Miller, one of the nurses
at the Maine State hospital, passed
Monday with her parents, Mr. and Mrs.
Elijah Miller.
Miss Adelia Weber teacher of the
Whitehouse school. is passing her va
cation with friends in Portland.
The engagement Of Ralph Miller and
Miss Marion Small, both of the Maine
State hospital, is announced.
49, olet w vi III, WI ANtil LUG anu
Ed Weber of South China We're callers
Sunday of Master Linwood Webber at
the home of his parents, Mr.. and Mrs
Dan Weber.
Mrs. Eta Twitchell returned Mon
day from weeks visit with friends in
Winslow, Waterville and Unity.
Mrs. Della Dickey returned Sunday
from several days visit with her broth
er. James Clark and family of River
side.
Miss Iva Howe, who has employment
in Augusta, passed the week end at her
home in this place.
Miss Ethel Miller is visiting her
brother, Henry and wife for few days.
Mrs. Ruth Morse has been housed
with cold the past week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Ballard of sea-
wood were Sunday guests of Mr. and
Mrs. c. NJ. Dickey
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04
ALLIED FLEET
ENTERS STRAITS
0FDARDANELLES

Paris March 5, $40 a. M.-The
bombardment Of the Dardanelles forts
was resumed yesterday, says an
Athens despatch to the Matin when
an allied fleet steamed into the straits.
Four battleships are reported to have
bonlbarded positions of the Turkish
army along the gulf of Saros, which
is separated from the Dardanelles by
the Gallipoli peninsular. The funds
and books of the Ottoman Bank and
the German Bank. it is said, have
been taken from Constantinople TO
Konieh in Asia Minor.
An Athens despatch to the Figaro
says.
Information from reliable sources is
to the effect that Turkey now realizes
the situation is becoming critical. De-
lenses are being thrown up hastily at
different points along the coasts of
Asia Minor. Troops from the vilayets
of Smyrna are being rushed to the
Dardanelles region. Desertions are
numerous. Placards are said to have
been posted in Constantinople pro-
claiming the Young Turks leaders
traitors. Bitter dissensions are said
to have arisen among the Turkisl.
leaders"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04

and upon doctorins the injured mem
Der found the jam to be a very serious
one. II no complications set In, how
ever, the wound may heal, although
1t will be several weeks before ne
will be able to walk about.
The funera services of the late Gym
thia Elizabeth Dearborn. wife of Will
bert Dearborn were held Wednesday
forenoon from the Dearborn residence
on Elm street. Rev. T. j. Cooiorotn'
pastor of the Waterville Advent
church officiated. and spoke very feel
ingiy of the deceased as mother
wife and church worker. The bearers
were William Norton. Thomas Dear
born. Harry Gibbs, William Hail In
terment was at Maplewood cemetery.
Among those. in town, Wednesday
to attend the funeral services of the
late Mrs Wilbert Dearborn were: Mr..
and Mrs. Thomas Lawley of Skowhe-
gan, Mrs. William Maxim of Show
hogan, Mrs Damon Burse. Mrs. Eta
White of ST. Adams, Mr.. and Mrs.
Alex Patterson Of Eartland. Mrs. En-
ma Raymond of Pittsfield.
Edward F. Parker. who has been III
several weeks, is able to be about the
house.
Mrs George Mutt returned "Wednesday
afternoon to her home in Clinton after
passing several days in town with Mr.
and Mrs Clyde Gibbs, Maple street. Mrs
Mutt was called here by the illness OF
her daughter. Mrs. Gibbs, who Is better
now.
Mrs. N. E. Davis OF Gilbreth street is
passing several weeks as the guest Of
Mrs. William r. Kreger. Western avenue.
Miss Faith Hinckley of Good Will was
in town and in Waterville Wednesday
visiting friends.
Mr.. and Mrs. McCabe. who have been
making their home with Mr.. and Mrs.
Joseph McAleer since their marriage sew
eral weeks previous. have moved Into a
vacant rent in Mrs. John Gibson's
house On lower Main street.
: A large number of townspeople went
to Fairfield Center on Wednesday eve
ming, where they witnessed the play as
given by members of Cascade Grange at
Victor Grange hall, and also attended
the dance following the play.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04
FAIRFIELD
Fairfield Board of Trade Holds
Annual Meeting at The Gerald
Hotel and Elects Officers
PERSONALS AND OTHER
TOWN LOCALS

The annual meeting Of the Fairfield
Board of Trade was held, Wednesday
evening at the Gerald Hotel, and the
annual election of officers to serve
for the ensuing year was held The
report of Secretary Abbott Nelson of
the minutes of the last meeting was
rendered and accepted. Treasurer Ed
bert Kelley rendered the financial re-
port of the Board. including the re-
ceipts and expenditures of the past
year. Quite a large amount is on
hand, and with the 200 dollars appro-
priated in 1914 by the town for adj
vertising, a pleasant prospect for fl
nances for the coming year is as
Sured.
AS no member of the playground
committee was present. Pres. Bur-
CESS gave the results of his queries
with the subject of purchasing the
plot Of land between Western Ave-
rue and Elm street, for a school play
ground and stated that fully one
thousand dollars would be required to
make the place suitable for the pur-
pose desired. Mr.. Gregory mentioned
a vacant lot on upper Main street, that
could be purchased for that purpose.
Mr.. Nye. stated that upon previous
Investigations he in company with the
late Amos Gerald had found that that
spot Of land is very high priced.
Mr.. Jewell also remarked upon the
subject to the effect that it was his
idea the first mentioned plot Of land
would be suitable. The matter was
suspended until the next meeting. Sec.
Nelson read the announcement Of the
annual meeting Of the State Board of
Trade, which will take place Thurs
day, March II.
In way Of aiding the committee on
new industries Pres. Burgess read
communication received from a GER
tain advertising company. whose prop
osition was they will send for GER
tain stated sum. at stated times a list
Of business places from towns. whose
desire it Is to change place Of busi-
ness. These notices will keep the or
ganizations Of such nature posted. I.
was voted to invest the sum necessary
to receive the list of the business
places or industries Of the above de-
scription for the next three months.
to begin with April.
President Burgess read a letter from
the instructors Of journalism and ad-
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04
ADJUSTMENTS
At The Opera House

Piaygoers of whatever type, who are
planning to attend a Pair of Skies,
which is 20 be given in the City
Opera House. Thursday evenin.,
should get a hustle on early Thursday
morning and purchase tickets. A de-
nland even greater than for The Sew
en- Keys to Baldpate'' was evidenced
by the line of $50 or so that was walt
ing in turn when the window opened
at 9 y. NJ, Wednesday. The play Is
interesting. laughable. and the alb
sence of trite ilorsepiay entities it 20
classification as one of the best plays
Of its kind ever written.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04
UNITY

Thomas Quicker, who has been WorA'
ing for the Turner Center Dairying As
ISOLATION, for the past year. has been
transferred to Thorndike to take charge
OF the shipping station.
Mrs. W. T. Woods, who recently W.
derwent a serious surgical operation q!
the hospital in Belfast, is doing nicely
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Wellington have
been the past week entertaining frien0'
from Massachusetts.
Mrs. l.. c. Dodge. who has been III w
a number OF weeks, remains about Inc
same.
Silas Pendleton, who had the mstor
tune Thursday of breaking his leg W"
taken Monday to the hospital in "als4'
Vile for treatment.
Mr.. and Mrs. F. A. Whitaker we're gus
mess callers Thursday in WaterT1!le'
Wellington Taylor, who has been 'e'
Ill with tonsilitis. is improving. ;.
f, L. Chase. who has been srioasiy ~
for the past two weeks. is more comic'
table.
A very interesting meeting was he4'
Friday evening by the Rebekahs. ATE.
comforting the degree oyster stow aps
assorted cakes were served and 's''
enjoyable time was pessed.
The Arts and Crafts Club will mee'
Wednesday with Mrs. Beulah knight
Mrs. w. F. LoweE returned home ri'
day from Belfast, where she has oes'
the guest Of friends.
Miss Mabel Bean returned Saturas'
to Lynn, Mass, after passing a ~eeAs
vacation with her parents.
Miss William Barlow had the mn
fortune Saturday to fall and disocA.
her shoulder. Her sister, Mrs. Snah '
Brooks. is with her.
Mrs E. NJ. Whitehouse left Monday ~
Boston. planning about weeks ouN
ness trip.
Mildred Rollins has closed her scnOs
In Vassalboro and is passing her ssS'
ton at home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Cunningham v
Troy were guests Sunday at r. c. ""'
aker'2
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1915-03-04
VASSALBORO

The Ladies' Aid will meet Thursday
afternoon, this week, with Mrs w. v
Nash. A hearty invitation is extended
to all the members and also to any
others who may wish to join the Aid, to
be present.
SOUTH-Mrs. Della Dickey was a
recent visitor in Waterville on pleas
ure and business trip.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Perley Of Sea-
wood were recent guests of Mr.. and
Mrs. NJ. E. Brann.
G. II. Morse was a recent business
caller in Waterville.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Tobey were re-
Gently guests Of Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. L.
Sabin.
Miss Stella Barton Of West Windsor
was spending a few days last week
with F. Belle Taylor.
Mrs. Ella Davis returned Monday
from Waterville.
Mrs. Mary Emmerson Of Edgecomb is
visiting her cousin, Mrs. Della Dickey.
Mrs. VIM. Cappers and Mrs. Charles
Jones Of Windsor were callers Saturday
at F. Belle Taylor's.