The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1915-12-16
WILL YOU BE WELL OR s1cK7
Y Pays Yer Money and Y Takes Yer
Choice Read Below Rules for
the One or Other.

Want to now how to Keep SlckS
DR.. J. J. McShane is just as much
of an authority upon that as he is upon
how to keep well, and he gives his I'M
qualified, hearty endorsement to the
following rules for getting sick and
keeping that way.
He suggests that everyone interested
in keeping sick may find food for re-
Election in what follows:
How to Keep Sick.
Keep the windows closed all the
time, especially when you sleep-fresh
air would keep you healthy.
Keep the sunshine out of your home
germs don It like sunshine
Never take deep breath-that
would give your lungs some needed ex-
ercise, and besides you might rip a
button off your vest.
Don't disturb the fies-you I'll miss
lot of filth if you do.
Eat any kind of food regardless Of
it's nutritive lue-sawdust and ex-
celsior are good "fillers. -
Swallow your food without chewing
it-your stomach has no teeth.
Eat irregularly-by all means keep
your stomach disordered.
| Never take bath-soap and water
are enemies of disease.
Never exercise in the open air, let
game of cards in room filed with
foul air be your most violent form of
exercise--your body Graves exercise
and fresh air.
Get very little sleep-your nervous
system will soon collapse under the
strain.
Drink any old water, the dirtier the
better-you II very often find typhoid
in water.
Keep dirty house--dirt and disease
go hand in hand.
If you get diphtheria, don t use an
| titoxin-antitoxin will cure it.
IF you want smallpox don It get vac
cinated.
Don t be particular about your milk
supply-that's a good way to get sick
and to keep the baby sick.
What's the use of being healthy
anyhow?
If, on the other hand, you want to
keep we'll, Dr. McShane offers rules
quite as eficacious in that direction
as are the preceding ones in the other
path.
These formulated laws are issued by
the Health Bulletin of the North Car
DINA board Of health, but Dr. McShane
says thew are worthy of consideration
by all who would be we'll.
They read: IF you live right, you
will not bolt your food and expect your
" digestion" to masticate it. If ma
ture had wanted your teeth in your
stomach she would have put them
there; you will not gormandize. If
nature had intended you to eat enough
to sustain a giant you would have been
built accordingly; you will pet plenty
of sunlight and pure air. Nature de-
signed YOU for out-of- doors and not for
oil dlI-GlSHI VI cduueu eAlSG-
ence; you will take regular and normal
exercise. Your body is nc@pnade to
function properly without it. Your
limbs and joints are designed for ac-
ton, not to be kinked up and stiffened
by the sitting habit; you will avoid
excessive nervous and physical strain
and the loss of rest and sleep. So far,
no one has been able to successfully
defy nature on this point; you will
avoid overindulgence in fats, sweets,
tobacco. alcohol and other drugs. Ma
ture will not stand for this. Tt was
not in the contract; you will also alb
jure peevishness and worry. This drag
upon health and happiness has no place
in natures scheme; you will have per-
iodical health examinations to detect
disease before it is too late to head it
off; you will shun these and other
easily avoided follies of wrong living
which are causing so much needless
suffering and untimely death: in short,
if YOU LIVE RIGHT YOU will enjoy an
orderly, peaceful and sane existence,
using the instructive intelligence which
nature has given you to conserve your
health.