The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-12-11
Slants
By 'Zeke''
By "Zeke"

Hi By "Zeke
AS formally announced last week
| Stats has really and actually gone to
help Henry Ford pour oil on the per-
turbed waters of Europe. We have
nothing to add to that announcement
except that our readers now have a
chance to see for themselves who has
been doing most of this work Also
the general improvement in tone of
this stuff should be marked.
We are forced to rise in defense
of this same Stats who has been the
butt of article written for Ger
tain morning paper, in which it is
stated that he more or less severely
chastised a policeman at one time dur
ing his youth. That writer evidently
took advantage of the 1000 miles of
rough land and the odd hundred miles
of wet and cold water betw cen MIN
self and Stats to perpetrate that piece
of intimate biography.
Our defense is this: Every normal,
healthy. American citizen, a some
irresistible impulse to lick 4 police
man, being constrained at the time
by the thought of the countless other
minions within the call of a whistle.
Now in the case in poinr, this same
impulse struck the young and callcw
Stats at a time when he had been
swinging a sixteen-pound maui for
three months in anticipation of a COM
ing gruelling football season. and
when the said cop was off duty and
out of harness. There is nothing
more or less in this than that much
talked of knock of opportunity and
Stats having been impOrtuned all his
life to listen for this knock answered
to the best of his ability.
What has become of Ike Gilberg?
Speaking of Ike recalls to US that
the object of the Ford invasion is to
talk peace, and talk it everywhere,
and do nothing but talk it. Now if
there is one man in this country who
can talk anything at all. and talk it
all the time, ana anywhere, and who
is the unbridled, instantaneous, ire
pressible, old he talller, it is Ike Gil
berg. Why" say we, and again
why, is he not aboard"
If the force of heredity amounts to
half what the wise men claim fer it, !
the coming generation of fiction eat
ers should feel greatly encouraged by
the arrival of twin boys in the house
hold of William R. Hearst.
When the statistics are compiled |
they will probably show that he oc-
cupatiOn which is INDUCED in most |
universally by the colored race is So |
Letting donations to raise The church |
mortgage.
The habit is also more or less |
prevalent among the pale faces, al |
though among them the preacher !
does it instead of the congregation.
We have observed in the short /
space of time since we have attained /
the age when we became game for |
insurance writer's that this general /
class Of patriots, philanthropists. par
asites, pests, or whatever they are,
determined by ones point of view is
divided into three general classes:
In order to classify them properly
we appropriate from the vocabulary
of the advertising manager the col
lowing:
The Human Interest Appeal.
The Reason Why Appeal.
The Closer. (This last from the
Sales DEPARTMENT.
The human interest man is n soft
voiced, scriptural quoting. gray suited,
rubber heeled Seducer who slips into
your office just after lunch, the psy-
chology of this manner of approach
being that you are comfortably seated
in your own leather bottom chair
at peace and in good hu-
NOR after n fine lunch.
He rrasps your right hand with his
right and your right elbow with mis-
left and massa ges you like an old COL
lege chum looking for Il loan He
calls you by name, having looked up
the office stationery, and proceeds to
tell you what will happen to your
family when as he expresses 1t the
rolls you over" pheasant
thought). Before your inspired vision
is spread a thrilling picture of your
wife shaving over a steaming wash
tub, while your small son sells noon
in a desperate effort to make
one end connect with the ether end.
About this time the telephone -iIgs
and grasses the lurid picture. The
II Interest AnDealer goes out
weeping.
About the time that you have for
gotten all about the dire things that
are going to happen to your family n
Young man breeZeS into office, shakes
your hand brisllly and sits down on
the edge of your desk and starts fig
uring on your private scratch pad
with your own pet silver mounted
pencil This young man is dressed in
the clothes which are commonly
called swish" and is much more eff
fective if he has a diamond horseshoe
in his tie.
His strong argument is the ability
of his company to create you an es-
tate far in excess of what you can pos
sibly earn even with your superior in
telligence and with your flattaring ex-
pectancy of long life which he can
easily see himself, without the eN-
amining physicians word. This man
he merely regrets that
your judgment has played you false
in this instance.
About the time when you have for
gotten both the prospective desJitu-
ion of your dear ones, good words
hose, and the lost opportunity for
creating an estate, a small, quiet man
dressed in citizens clothes comes into
your office and remarks that you
seem to be a very busy man and that
ne does not wish to take up your time
'or the purpose of talking insurance. {
GU already know that yoI should
and must have it, and he is simply
mere with the instruments for con-
your laudable ambl1o On
IL, civ . fefIrT