davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bisbee daily review., 1915-10-17
Q 9 Q . . o .
. A BATCH OF SMILES >
. 9 . G . . Q

Dostor You must go away for a
long rest
Overworked Merchant-But, doctor,
I'm too busy to 80. away.
Doctor-Wen then, you must stop
advertising
Fond Mother-Jack, It's bad enough.
for you and Tommy to fight, but
can't allow you both to turn to and
knock Clarence down and kick him
in the ribs.
The spitework fence has gone. If
your neighbor wants to get even she
buys a graphophone and plays the
same records,a at the same time you do.
"Pop?"
"Wel. Ichabod?"
"Can an iron dog bark?'
81 should say not"
Eyes, it can"
"My son, H."
81 stumbled over one on Rankin
lawn the other day, and it barked
my shins."
con. docter. I'm so glad you've
comet We've just had a scare. We
thought at first that the baby had
swallowed a S. gold piece
"And you have found out that he
hasn't?"
eyes Thank goodness its only a
| quarter"
Pat had p limited knowledge OF the
bird kingdom One day. walking
down the street, he noticed q green
bird in a cage, talking and singing.
Thinking to pet It he stroked lbs
head The bird turned quickly
screaming. "Hellol What do You
want?" Pat SHE'D off like a fr5ghten-
ed horse, lifting his hat and bowling
politely as he suffered out: "EX-ey-
cuse me, s-s-sir, ! thought you was a
burrd,'
Bisbee daily review., 1915-10-17

The spitework fence has gone. If
your neighbor wants to get even she
buys a graphophone and plays the
same records.at the same time you do.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
LOUISVILLE RESULTS.

FIRST RACE Selling: 2year-oids aud upward
six furlongs. Busy Edith 90 Urauhart, Sc 81
sAc.so. $50. Tie Norman Ill Uiarnerl
Sl5e0. $50. second: Deposit. iG1 (Keoghl S5I
third. Time. III -. Undsunted Margaret u
Mazrk. Redsnds. Aunt Josie. Clinton and Boz
HERSHEY also ian.
| SECOND RACE 2-year-old colts: four and one
half furlonss. The Decision. L: tBurng4me,
Nis. $50 $50. won: John. il. liz Mott
$40. 10 second; Stephen r. liz iDishmon,
SEC. third. Time. 0:5j. Granada Sugar King
Fornersade. and Gen. Picket also ran The lie
ci>ion and sugar King Davis and Morris entry
THIRD RACE-Purse; J-yesr-olds; one and one
sixteenth miles Emerson Cochran. I65 TAYLOR
a.ic. ont. Royal II. los 0ioose, out. second
l:f Is. Only three starters
FOURTH RACE ear-oIds and upward: one
mile. GcldC1est BOY. 81 tGarner, S2ec $50
81. wen: Hocnir. los Mott. sac $50 sec
ord: Stout Heart. 10 iGriffn). $50 third Time
40 -. Bayberry Candle Old Rem Bsc Charter
Wiliit-. Hekn Barbee. and Grover Hughes also
ran.
FIFTH RACE-runse: eycar-od Allies: fslr
ard one-haF furlongs. Little Sister. IL iApdres,
sI2.7C $50. $50 won: Sal Vanity. Ios CM.r
tin. so. $50. second; Kathleen ll2 Pessel.
sc third. Time. GA S-5. Mission Ben and
Margaret also ran
SIXTH RACE-One and one-s1teenth miles
Reno los UruuharD s.. $50 $50. won: Love
land. los Brown. $50 SD. second: Guide Post
10 oiOO>e'. $3.50 third. Time. las. AIledo Cor
die + Rig DippeT. Sun Queen and Birks also
rs-
SEVENTH RACE-One mile and seventy Yards.
Mabel Duweber. 81 n.arelleI. SO. $50. S. won
Black Thorn. &c iSlosnI. $50 SO second: Gal
lint EUy, IOi JrIlJhart. s. 20 third. Time rs -
Fort Sumter FLYING YANKEE. Jack KavanauSh
Lack Rose. and Stick Pin also ran
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
LOUISVILLE ENTRIES.

FIRST RACE-Purse: 3year-olds and pward
maidens: mile. Fleet AbelIe los: Badinase los
Marjorie D. ej Hoes Hoo 10, Bean SuilleE IG
White Metal lC: KRIS Krinsle ct: Money Maker
10: GreTie. 10: ROYAL Interest 10: Freeman
10: ola MAY. liz: Fleuron II. 10: Orange lis
Justice Goebcl. lie.
SECOND RACE-Selling: .-year-olds and ILL.,
ward: mile and sixteenth. ST. Charlotte 100
Ram Coat. C2: 'Manioc. l02: Binso. lCi: Mabel
Montgomery. los: Tyre lo5: Wadsworth's Last. OS
'Tetan. IL
THIRD RACE-seIlins; i-year-olds and upward
mile and seventy Yards. Bulgarian. %: Tavolara
lG2: Il. II. Adair lG2: -Nerena leg: 'Re1uir.m
lG Raoul. 100: Marshon lGs: Sir Catesby l0s
FOURTH RACE-Purse: 5-yesrolds and ,rpw ard
mile. Bradley Choice. loJS Hodge. lGs: Leo
Chares. G: Robert Bradley ls; Prince Hermis.
Ice; Harrow IL.
FIFTH RACE Purse: oyes-olds: colts: four
and one.haf furlonEs Heir Apparent los: Pay
master. lc5 Cane Run. Is: Jerry los; Bulse Ics:
Marse Henry. ice
SIXTH RACE-Sellins; advance money: year
ODDS and upward: six furlongs. 'Pleasureviile O.:
Long Reach g: Carrie ONO. 81; Amazon q:
BettertGn. %; Collie 10; 'rrettydae Io3: LADY
fanchita. l02: Long Horne. lo6: Trans Miller G3;
Big Drper. To-; Coreopsis ITO; Gold Color. 10:
Cash on Delivery. 10: Feather Duster ITO
SEVENTH RACE-SellinG; i-yesr-olds and NJ
ward; mile and seventy Yards Edith D.. IG2
Prospect. .N: 'Bonne Chance. idc: Acis i04: Miss
ThOrre. ll2 Thought Reader. los; Howdy Hoady.
ITO; Any Bort. 10.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
FOR SALE-fARMS.

For sale, rooms and bath, with 3 IL
acres. All kinds of fruit: beautiful
| shrubbery: few minutes walk from
electric cars and b. and o. Price.
$500: $3.50 cash. balance to suit. This
is. indeed. A bargain. and must be seen
TO be appreciated.
No. 1ee-s2, 600 buys a good farm Of
- IL acres. Is miles from Washington:
81 acres in cultivation: 70 fruit trees
fine we'll and springs: only 10 minutes
walk 20 school, church and store. Inn
proved by 4-rocm house, stable, wagon
shed. corn crib and poultry house. This
price includes horses. 2 cows, 2 pigs,
20 chickens. buggy. iari. wagon riding
cultfvatcr- plcwS, harness., farm In
elements and household furniture. own
er has to leave this section of the coun-
try.
No. 1es-Nice truck farm OF 50 acres.
acres cultivation, balance oak timber:
watered by fine springs. Barb-wire
fencing: so apple trees. 1000 straw
berry plants; Groom frame house. barn.
and poultry house for eco head. Price,
$4,000: one-Ealf cash
O. B. Zantzinger
s03 N. Y. Ave. N. W.
Washington, D. c.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
TWO AMATEUR PLAYERS
INJURED ON WHITE LOT

In baseball game between the
Land Once aud Reclamation
service teaPs of the Home Club
league On the White Lot yester-
oay afternoon, Hartford Clarke,
catcher sa the Reclamation Serv-
Ice ntne, sustained n broken leg,
ana Herman c. Hansen, first base
nan for the Reclamation Service
club, collapsed from n weak heart.
Both players were taken to the
Emergency Hospital, and inquiry
last night developed the fact that
Clarke will he confined to the
hospital for several weeks. and
Haasen for several days. although
the condition of either Is not
serious.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
Garden City Golf Entries.

New YORK. NAV le-An unusually large entry lis
has been .ecs.ed for the invitation golf tournament
OF the GARDEN City Golf Club which will he helC
al Garden City commencing tomorrow. The name!
Of li6 GolfeI~. among them the most IrOmi,ent il
this coIinr have heen received and because of thin
large number If competitors carly start has beer
deemed advisa1e. Following are the names OF those
sho have entered: +. VI. Byers. Percy r. Trne
Walter J. TIaris. James X. Hyde, Max Ii. Behr
Gardner W. Whit., H. J. Torping. Philip Carter
Fred Her1esiof X Webb and Dwight Partridge.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
ROCK HILL COLLEGE
EASY FOR FARMERS
Maryland Aggies Defeat Ancient Ri.
walls in One-sided Game by
13 to 4 Count.

College Park. May l9.-Rock Hill
College proved no match for the Mary
land Aggies here today, the latter team
winning in a romp. IL to 2.
For Ave innings the game was not
lacking in interest. but when the
Aggies scored nine runs in the sixth
session. the game was little less than
farce thereafter. Score:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20

Runs -kuodc Dedrstync. Boost Derrick t9
pberim 90. Sicgert -. DAY -. Donovan TAYLOR
u. Possasno. Schmideger. NJ Collins Bolewcki
Three base hit -obcrhn. Twn-nase hits-Oberlin
H"5endale. Stolen -knode Day Donuvan
Siesert. Derrick. Hu-edale. Higgins. Bolewicki tsl
Sacrifice hits-DonoTan. retons. Struck out-By
Derrick. s: by SchmdeGer :. Bases on balls
ON Derrick. g; oF Sclnmid,ger. 2. Hit by pitched
tali-By schmidescr tBoIstl. TmIire-Mr. Hanii-
trp.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
MINOR LEAGUE RESULTS.
INTERN ALTON Al.

NJ R"chcster-Jersey City. g. Rochester. .
Vt Buffalo Providence. ): Buffalo. 2
~ Toronto Richmond. s: Toronto. T.
~ Montreal Newark. {. Montreal.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR WASTING

DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR, WASHING
ton. u. C.. May 10. 1915. Sealed proposals. in du-
riicate will be received at this Department until
?. m. Iuesdiy. June 8. 1915. and then opened for
the furnishing Of stokers coal and ash handling ma
chinery. and other appliances. for the power house
OF the Government HOSPITAL for the Insane Ana
costa. D. r. in accordance with plans and specif-
CATIONS. copies OF which may be obtained upou sd
pication TO the chief clerk of the Department The
night Is reserved to reject Eny and all bids or to
accert or :ejsct any rart tiereo IN the discretion
OF the DEPARTMENT Proposals should be secrrcly en-
'eioped marked Proposal for stokers, ETC., Govern
ment Hospital Tor the Insane and addressed TO the
SECRETARY Of the Interior. 30 SWEENEY, Assis
tsnt Secretary. mals 20
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20

Boland continues to win for Detroit. Tbs Ti0xs
pitching sensation has helpsd JeaninR tom -
in good start
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20

OFFICE OF THE COMMISSIONERS OF THE
District OF Columbia. Washington, May IS 1915.
Sealed proposals will be received at this Office
June I. 1915. for furnishing and Delivering forage
ncw. and meal. during the months July August
September. October. 1915. for use Of the various
branches Of the District Of Columbia Specifications
and form Of proposal may be obtained from the
Purchasing Officer. Room % District Building.
OLIVER T. NEWMAN. LOUIS BROwNLOw,
CHARLES W. kUTZ, Commissioner D. C.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20

MONEY WANTED AND TO LOAN.
MONEY TO LOAN ON REAL ESTATE
in small and large sums. All transac-
tons conducted with economical consid-
DERS & CO. Southern Bldg. S07 18th st.
MONEY TO LOAN on approved city real
estate at lowest current rates; special
privileges with respect to prior payments.
Tyler * Rutherford. Inc, 100 18th st
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20

United STATES CAPITOL. WASHINGTON,
d. u. May 8. ls5.-Sealed proposals. in duplicate
Tor the following fuel for the United States Capitol
power Plant for the fscal ending June 20 1916,
VIII be received at the oice Of the Superintendent
L. s. Capitol Building and Grounds until 2 O'Clock
r. m. on THE FIRST DAY OF JUNE 1915 and
that hour opened in the Of those bidders
VINO elect TO be present viz: . 900 tons more or
less, OF bt'minous coS. Bidders must specify
names OF coal and location of mines from which
OBTAINED. All coal to weigh 22+0 pound, 10 the
Ton. and TO lie derered on the siding of the Capitol
power plant, situated in Garfield Park Washington
ID. G. at such times and in such quantities as
may be ordered by the undersigned All coal will
be inspected and weighed by a government inspector
designsted by the undersigned for which no charge
VII be made to the contractor Each prDposal
must be accompanied by a certified check for SIN,
payable to order Of the Superintendent L. s. Capi.
toi Building snd Grounds 10 be forfeited TO the
United states upon refusal or failure Of the bidder
to enter into contract within ten DAYS after h.
ing required &c do 50. Checks will be Immediately
returned 10 unsuccessful bidders and TO successful
bioder upon execution If contract in accordance
with these Specifications and filing OF bond for faith
ini performance of the conditions thereof with sat
isiactory S1reties. All coal must he shipped in
sef-cieanins hopper bottom cars II the contractor
de'ers coal in cars Of type other than that here
toiore described. the Superintendent reserves the
tl2ht under conditions existing al that time to
charge against the contractor the excess cos: of
handling he coal with the present euuipnen, at the
power Plant. The government will take all neces-
sary steps fer testing. technically and utacticslly
all the Goals proposed. In event Of delivery Of con-
tractor o. unsatisfactory fuel. the undersigned max
buy coal IN UDen market, and exo,ss in cost over
CONTRACT price will be charged asains, the contrac
Tor The wight is reserved TO reject any or all no
nosas. Bids should be Endorsed Proposals for
Coal and aidreseA TO the Superintendent U. s.
Capitol Building anS Grounds BY order of House
Ohice Building Commission ELLIOTT WOODS.
surerintendent U. S. Capitol Building and Gruunds.
myl.D,3
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
PROPOSALS.

OFFICE OF THE COMMISSIONERS OF THE
District Of Columbia. Washington. May 49, 1915
sealed Proposals will be received at this Office
room ''9 District Building. until O'Clock o NJ.
June !. el5 for furnishing and delivering T. O. b.
cars. Washington. ID. C. two saueesee street wash
ing machines. for in the Street Cleaning De
partment. this city. Specifications and form of
proposal may be obtained from the Purchasing
officer. d. C.. Room I'D Distrir, building
OLIVER r. NEWMAN. LOUIS BROWNLOW
CHARLES W. KUTZ. Commissioners, p. c.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20
FOR SALE-MISCELLANEOUS

1914 TOURING FORD CAR AND A
Maxwell, 2-cylinder. fully euuipped
car in perfect condition. Apply Ais X
ST. NV.
FOR SALE-YGCToR TALKING MACHINE
cost 50. will sell for onefourth original price
2 ST NV
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-05-20

1USE- AND READ THE HERALD CLASSIFIED ADS
ROOMS FOR RENT.
FURNISHED.

81 U ST. y. W.-TWO LARGE UNFURNISHEh
roIn, suitable for light housekeeping: man ant
WE preferred; one opens large vCrsnda; southern
osafe; 'ehn.d family of two; references eIchang
ed; close to car line
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-06-26
AN EDUCATED MAN.

OF course, man VINO has been edu-
Gated Is Dy no means necessarily an
educated mar. But what Is an edu-
Gated man. WHAT Is 1t necessary to
be or perhaps to nave, in order to
quanfy as one! Inc question seems
easy enough TO answer at nrst signt.
An educated man must be able to
read and write anu spell, but then
there are numerous people both edu-
Gated and uneducated VINO write and
speu atrociously. AS matter of fact,
there is no more convenient. deceitful
and misused expression in the English
language than an educated man. 1t
is not possible to buy an education or
TO lie given one, for IN order to get an
education it is necessary to be edu-
cable. a knowledge OF Shakespeare,
for example, can be purchased, but is
it possible TO purchase an appreciation
OF him? Education is not so much
the quantity OF your knowledge as its
quality. / fthe quality is good, then
an educated man may be defined as a
man whose attitude toward life is
based on ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-06-26
HOW TO BE HAPPY IN PAYING
TAXES

DR.. John H. Finley, head of the Edu-
cational System of New Yory is going
to write a book on How to be Happy
II. Paying Taxes.
We nave always been skeptical as to
the truth of the Old proverb There is
nothing new under the sum-" and If
this gentleman can write book that
will cause the taxpayer to shout with
JOY when he receives his tax bill and
bubble over with happiness as he pays
his dollars over to the tax gatherer,
then we will know that he has accom-
plshed something which has never
been accomplished before in all these
nineteen hundred and fifteen years or
even since Adam and Eve roamed in
the Garden of Eden.
Nothing III the life of the ordinary
man is more disagreeable than pay
ing taxes notwithstanding he knows it
is necessary that taxes be levied and
collected and he ought to congratulate
himself and be thankful that he pos
sesses property sufficient to be tax
payer. Perhaps the reason the aver
age man is grouchy when he parts
with tax money is that he does not see
the immediate benefits or returns for
the expenditure and we all like, when
we spend money, to feel that we are
getting value received.
But while taxes are not always ex-
pended to the best advantage and
there is often waste and extravaganza
in the use of the public's money yet
we get as a rule a good average re-
turn for the money we pay for taxes.
We get schools, roads, protection for
our property, laws, law makers, office
holders without number. and numer-
Gus other things that are necessary
and essential, and can only be provid-
ed for by direct tax on the individ-
uaLs owning property.
If all taxes could be raised by some
system of indirect taxation or a tax
without the individual realizing he
was being taxed it would be more
popular and easily collected.
We shall await DR.. Finley's book
with interest ard if he can make the
average taxpayer happy in paying
taxes he will do great public service
and the tax collectors office will be one
of the merriest, happiest places with
while waiting their turn to contribute
their dollars for the expenses of the
city, county or state.
r. the meantime let US cultivate if
not spirit of great gladness in pay
ing our share of taxes at least spirit
Of cheerfuness and resignation until
nr. Finley perfects his system of
"painless extraction" of taxes.
Also let US concern ourselves more
II eectinp men to public office who
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-06-26
GIVE IT HEED.

In view of all the interest which is
being manifested in the matter of
candidates for local offices, is it not a
sad commentary on our local patriot
ism, on our regard for our form of
government, that no interest whatever
seems to be shown in the matter of
candidates for the Legislature. Some
weeks ago the Cecil Star" called at
tention to this lamentab!e condition of
things in a vigorous and just editorial
to which lin part) we ask the earnest
attention of our readers. The Star"
said.
Here is a place Of trust and respon-
sibility of greater Importance really
than any of the other offices to be
filled, that is given the least consider
alton. OF the men who have the max
ing and unmaking of the laws under
which We live, who are the arbiters in
a measure, of the way and manner in
which all .he other public offices are
conducted, there is given lot so much
as a mention.
As a matter of fact, the public
should insist upon having their laws
made and amended by the brainiest,
broadcast minded and best men only.
But the people of the State have fall
lc2 into g loose practice in making
choice of their lawmakers, and in
tnis indifference may be found the
cause of whatever bad government we
have, and the wholly unjustitiable
price the people have to pay for it.
The great mass of the people give
little thought as to their lawmakers,
and have handed over the selection of
these men almost entirely to political
managers and bosses, whose first con-
sideration is the pliability of the cam
didates for partisan and political par
poses. Hence evil after evil has crept
into the affairs of State, and the State
government is overloaded and hecom-
ing top-heavy with expensive commits
sions and superfiuous officials, and
each succeeding Legislature is adding
to this list, in order to furnish soft
places for politicians who render SER
vice to their party.
State taxes are mounting higher
ard higher with each succeeding legis-
lature and the State debt is piling up
in like manner. \ serious situation
confronts the people of Maryland and
until they realize that their relief can
come solely through a legislature that
is more concerned about the public
welfare thar it is about politics and
politicians. they viii continue to pay
the price for their indifference to the
make up of the body that makes the
laws that govern them.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1915-06-26
THE INCOME TAX.

The man with an income of more
than $4,000 has been going through
his annual attack of lncome-taX re-
port; Ike the influenza it grows
worse each year. Contrary to a some
what general belief, the small per-
centage Of citizens thus honored do
not whine and fuss so much about the
tax itseif-most OF them pay it even
cheerfully-uut they do fume ard
blow up at the complications, eXas-
perations, and Representatives, impos-
ed AS an exhibit of crude, inconsiSt-
ent, and amateurish complexities this
latest report is Il masterpiece of in
competence" as a leading daily eX-
presses it. \ weil-known lawyer,
after trying to fathom the law, gave
it up in despair with the remark, at
is impossible to understand its mean
ing save by consulting palmist."
AS interpreted by the department
it is a case, for the government, of
heads win, tails you lose. For in
stance, a man in moderate circum-
stances sells piece of land at a
profit. That pront must be declared
as a part of his income for the year.
That's all right. But should he
through necessity be compelled to sell
that same land, and, in order to raise
money, be forced to sell at an actual
loss, then he cannot deduct from his
net income for the year that loss, un-
less he is a recognized real-estate
dealer, specializing in property as we'll
as making sales for other people. In
other words, he practically pays tax
on his loss. The same ruling applies
to sales OF IL. other things in which
the seller is rot recognized dealer.
be it stocks, bonds, hay, grain, or
whatever it may.
The government also imposes an
unfair burden in making its collec-
tons. Thousands of small investors
and widows who do not pay any tax,
but cash the interest coupon at bank,
cause lot Of work which the bank
must do at its own expense. The
holder Of 50 interest coupon wants
to cash it. Stores will not take it as
money. The holder goes to bank. In
order to comply the bank must first
get a signed statement that the client
has or has not an income in excess of
$4,000 The bank makes no charge
for cashing the coupon, but must do
lot of bookkeeping for the govern
ment. One bank in Chicago alone
spent $4,000 last year for clerks to dc
this work.
The foregoing is not a discussion of
the justice or merits of the tax. but
offers only suggestion of the num-
erous Inconsistencies in the govern
ment's method of applying and col
lecting the tax. No time should be
lost in revising the law, which was
passed hastily and without suitable
consideration, and providing in its
stead one which shall be as definite
and consistent as the regulations gov
erning the payment of customs, to-
bacco, and spirits taxes.