davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
Luke McLuke Says:


 There isn't much romance about hay ing a sunny disposition.
 A man usually feels as good as his stomach.
 Ever notice that a street car runs about thirty miles an hour when you are trying to catch it and runs about three miles an hour after you have caught it?
 The old fashioned girl who was al- ways afraid that she might show, through now has a daughter who be- lieves that a coat of talcun powder is opaque.
 If it wasn't for the weather, half the people in the world wouldn't have a blame thing to talk about
 Another mystery is how a thin girl can eat six square meals per day and grow thinner, and how fat girl can eat one potato and gain four pounds.
 A woman can imagine that she Is saving money because she has every thing charged and doesn't ask her hus- band for some coin every morning.
 If it ever came to show down, most of us wouldn't have nerve enough to preach what we practice.
 When a woman tells her husband that she has something she wants to talk to him about she usually means that she wants to talk to him about something she hasn't got.
 The reason bachelor is so particular about wearing socks that do not wrinkle around his ankles is because after he is married his big worry will be to get a pair or socks that have no holes in them. fa
 When the germ of suspicion crawls in at the door tlle microbe of love flies o17f tho
 There is a difference between a gent and gentleman" A "gent" is a man who gets his hair cut on Saturday night.
 Every man knows that he could make himself famous if he wasn't so blamed busy working for living.
 If you are going to get married, why not get married on a Friday or on the 18th of the month? Then you will have something to blame it on.
 Once in awhile you will run across a i little dried up 1o5 pound husband who wants a whole lot of credit because he doesn't' act like brute and beat up his husky 245 pound wife.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
A Lesson With His Autograph.

An adnnirer once wrote to Lowell de scribing his autograph collection and concluding with the remark, T would be much obliged for your autograph.' z The reply came, bearing with it a les son on the correct use of the words s'would' and should" which deeply impressed itself on the mind of the re- cipient. The response read:
 Pray, do not say hereafter, 'I would be obliged" If you would be obliged be obliged and have done with it. Say, q should be obliged and oblige yours truly, JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13

Chicken. Most every man likes chicken pie And maybe that's why vears so high.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13

Huh! Dear Luke.-I discovered this one fin the Yosemite Park Tourist:
 |" A man from Muskogee made this pathetic but truthfulA statement to the clerk at the Sentinel shotek My wife rode to Glacier point and back yester- day, and she Is so sore that she can not register "A Cincinnati Tourist
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
ALLEGED AssATI1ANTS
 FORFEIT THEIR BONDS

A bond of SIS was forfeited in city court this morning when the cases of William Colgan, 1346 North Main street, and Edward Keeler. 794 La fayette street, were called. Both were arrested on the charge of assaultlng Mrs. R osaIie BlakesIey, Stowe avenue and Richmond lane, Meadows End The alleged assault occurred last even ing at Fairfield avenue and Water street.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
commereial Candor.

Dear Luke: If you will look in the Somerset (Ky) city directory you will find this advertisement:
 stAt the Blue Grass Meat Market the Best Is None Too Goodv'-G. G. G., Somerset.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
HeIpI

If real assistance you can lend. Give quickly and give twice, But you can't aid a hardup friend / By handing him advice.
 Cincinnati Enquirer. Your hardup friend will thank you then Full many a time and oft, If yol1'n obIige him with a ten / And so let him down soft
 Newark '(O.) Advocate
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
What?

O. you niIitaristsl o. yoh peace O, you /wise naenI What db you kr Read more talk lessI
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
Our Daily Special.

Anything you get for nothing is usu ally, worth a little less.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13

Things to Worry About. Women can talk more than, men be- cause their throats are smaller and they tax their vocal chords less.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
Bits of BypIay By Luke McLake Copyright, 1918. the Cincinnati
 Enquirer

Two Feet. ''I walk with measured tread,'' said Drake ''I hope to gain rep; For when l walk always take Two feet al every step.'
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
Namaa Is NanneIs.

Will Takecare lives at Stamping Ground, Scott county, Ky.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
Paw Knows Everything.
cidda1pI

Willie-Paw, what is a booze fighter Paw-A Prohibitionist, my son.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13

The White Star liner Cymric arrived at Liverpool.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13

He Knew.
 The former big league baseball man. ager, who had been canned because the team finished last as usual, was taking a civil service examination in order to secure a political job. He was amazed at the list of fool questions on tho cx- animation paper. He didn't know the distance from the earth to the moon, so he passed that one up. And he could not describe a syzygy, so he called that test a loser. But the third ques- tion interested him. It said: "Name the largest bone in the human frame.''
 And with a grin of confidence the former manager wrote this answer: ''The head"
 Chicken.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13

This is the truth that I now tell, ! And I think you will hold so; When any girl thinks she's belle
 She sure likes to be tolled so.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-10-13
The Wise Foe

The Wise Fool. ''Duty comes before pleasure lob- served the sage. ''Yes, in the dictionary" replied the fool
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
COFFEE-AND FOR
MAN WHO 'FLOPS'

the plan of making lighthouses
for men as far different from the
usual dirty. foul-smelling type as
possible.
Its an attempt" said Nichols
today, Ito see II such a plant can
succeed on commercial basis.
The idea | got from the Jefferson
house which the Rev. Gilchrist es-
tablished in Seattle years ago,
but which is no longer operating.
Calls Ii Henry George.
THAT is. we will recognize that
the men have to have a very
cheap place to sleep. but we're
going to make il as attractive as
we can"
The present quarters of the es-
adjustment. which will be known
as the Henry George, are being
remodeled and reprinted.
In a way, Nichols expects his
hotel to furnish a place for men
to loaf. and thus to fill in way
the present place of the saloon.
He is endeavoring to interest the
Rev. II. II. McGinnis of the social
service board in his plan.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
WANTS CTS
TO CONDUCT
INVESTIGATION

CHICAGO, Aug. 4.-President
Gompers of the American Fedora
ton of Labor today demanded Of
President Wilson that he order a
citizens investigation of the East
land disaster, in lieu of the one
being conducted by the inspectors
division of the department of
commerce, as directed by Secre-
tary Redfield.
Gompers declared it was the
fault of the inspection service,
presumably, that the disaster &C.
CURED. and that clearly it was a
travesty of justice to have this
department investigate charges of
its own bungling.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
May LECALIzE
FRUIT GROWERS
ORGANIZATION

The state wide fruit growers
cooperative association, designed
to do for the fruit growers Of the
whole state what the Puyallup
association has done for that dis
trict, may be legalized as a result
of the visit to the Northwest of
the federal trade commission.
After this state wide associa-
ton was formed, to finance, harv-
est and sell the fruit croy Of the
state, 1t was found that 1t ran into
several sections of the Sherman
antitrust act.
Since this. w. ii. Paulhamus,
It's head, has been making efforts
to have its program o. KID
Today the word was given out
in Seattle by Will II. Parry, Sc
attic man who was named on the
commission. that this association
would be given friendly attention,
and that II the facts gained at a
hearing justified it, legislation
would be recommended to con-
gress to make such associations
legal.
This meeting will be in Spo-
kane.
Hearings also will be held In
Tacoma Aug. II on the question
of allowing a Douglas fir trust to
sell exclusively to foreign mar
kets.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
John Bull,
T0o.DenieS
u. S. Claim

WASHINGTON, d. c., Aug. 4.
1.-The freedom of the seas for
which President Wilson Informed
Germany a week ago the United
States would stand, without con-
promise and at any cost" is flat
~ denied in Great Britain's latest
answer to Americas protest at in
reference with her shipping.
Not only does Great Britain in
sist on the right to blockade all
Germany and to prevent American
cargoes destined for civilians
from being landed, but 1t takes
the stand that it has the right
to blockade such neutral ports as
Rotterdam and Copenhagen.
This right Is claimed on the
theory that when shipments are
allowed to these ports, they are
Immediately transshipped to Ger
many. Thus, in reality, the Brit
ish argue, they are German ports.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
DEBATE PROPERTY
OF BIG MOVIE FILM

The Birth OF Nation" a
stupendous motion picture film
which purports to delineate Amer
lean history from the opening of
the Civil war until after the as
sassination of President Lincoln.
including the operation of the ia
nous Klu KluX Khan, received the
honor of more than an hours at
tention at today's session of the
city council
Six negro residents of Tacoma
with two attorneys. were arrayed
against a dozen or more motion
picture house managers, in an at
tempt to prevent the film from
being exhibited here.
AS a result of the arguments,
the city council voted to put
over for week all consideration
OF the amended censorship ordi-
nance introduced last week by
Commissioners Mills, which would
prevent any film from being ex-
Inhibited here that would tend to
arouse race feeling or race
hatred.
Col. A. Il. Joab made an inn
FASHIONED plea for the colored
race, declaring that the play
made the negroes appear as fiends
and brutes. Evan S. Stallcup also
demanded that the film be re-
stricted from Tacoma, asserting
that race riot might ensue II it
were shown here.
Several movie men, with their
attorneys, argued that Tacoma
would be the only city in the
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
By A. J. Eldred

When a workingman who has
just enough money to buy him
self a l0-cent FLOP" in flop
house has to go hunting work
without breakfast. he faces a
whole pack of moral troubles
that most of us know nothing
about.
You have this on the solemn
assurance of j. II. Nichols. who
as keeper of such a flop-house
has seen them leave his place on
cold, foggy mornings, without
anything inside to fortify good in
tentions.
SO beginning Aug. 10, and all
through the winter. he will serve
to every man at his house, 12th
and A sts., who cannot afford n
breakfast light meal of coffee
and doughnuts or cake.
Place to Shine Shoes, Too.
Also. he will establish a read.
ing-room, a big free bathroom
place to shine shoes.
In short, he's going to try out
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
City TO Abate
Boy Nuisance

A dozen firms at the Municipal
dock today addressed remon-
STRANGE to the city council regard
ing a drove of young boys who
harrass travellers at the dock for
permission to carry grips and
suit cases.
Mayor Fawcett, who issues per-
mits to all the boys. announced
that he would expect the dock po-
licemen' hereafter to take permits
away from any boy who acts i'm
|, properly.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

NEW YORK, Aug. 4.-Elsie
Ferguson, the famed star in THE
Outcast," is going to be stage
lands prettiest summer bride,
Mrs. Amelia Ferguson, the
stars mother, announced the en-
gagement OF Elsie to Thomas
Benedict Clarke, vice president of
the Hartman bank and New York
club man.
Every one is interested in this,
Miss Ferguson's second love al
fair. The announcement came as
a great surprise to her friends.
In 1908 Miss Ferguson became
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

United States to refuse permission
to show the film.
At the end of the arguments,
Commissioners Woods exclaimed:
We'll, let's pass the ordinance
and keep the film out of the city.
Tacoma has a reputation for be-
ing freak town in everything
let's not deyiate from the beaten
path"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
HOLD LINDSEY FOR
COURT CONTEMPT

DENVER, Aug. 4.-Because he
refused to reveal on the stand
what he claimed was a confiden-
tial conversation with Mrs. Ber-
tina Wright, charged with the
murder of her husband, Judge
Ben Lindsey was found guilty Of
contempt.
At the time of the verdict
Judge Lindsey was delivering q
Chautauqua address. He appeal
ed from the judgment.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
ONLY 100 APPLY
FOR $4,000 JOB

CHICAGO, Aug. flames w.
Pankhurst, worth just coolies Of
money, advertised for a new
member of the family, the new
member to get $4,000 provid-
ing everything was satisfactory.
Only 100 apprrcants appeared the
first day. Pankhurst is rs years
old and wanted a girl to take
care OF him and his wife while
they lived.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
GOV. MAYTORENA PUTS
BLAME OF CARRANZA

WASHINGION, ID. O., Aug. =.
Gov. Maytorena of Sonora no.
titled the railroad officials Satur-
day night that he was withdraw
ing from the Yaqui valley, Gen.
Funston today reported to the
war department.
Maytorena declared that II Ad-
miral Howard sent a force ashore
to police the district following
his withdrawal, responsibility
for this invasion OF Mexico must
lie with Carranza for creating th
conditions necessitating tho re-
tiromant Of the villistas.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

the wife of Frederick Chamber
lain Hoyt. She obtained a di-
vorce from him in New Jersey in
1914.
AT that time Miss Ferguson
said. MARRIAGE WITH MOST
MEN is ONLY FOR THE OAR
ING SOUL-she who Is content
with the glamour while it lasts,
who knows the awakening will
come and is willing to endure the
loneliness and heartaches that are
bound to follow"
Evidently, one short year and
Thomas Benedict Clarke have
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

spared the vessel the usual tor
pedoing. ~
Presumably this was due to
the fact that the Germans wanted
the cargo of cotton which she
carried, for use in making mu-
nitions. The ship was bound for
Archangel.
The Pass of Balmaha is well
known in Tacoma. She has made
this port several times as a grain
ship.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
SEPT. 80 rs OUR
BIG DAY AT FAIR

September 30-that's the big
day for Tacoma at the San Fran
cisco fair. All Tacomans are ask
ed to make as large showing
as possible. The trustees of the
Commercial club last night decid-
ed upon this day for Tacoma
day."
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
LOOKS AS IF OLD
VIRGINIA'S DRY

RICHMOND, Aug. 4.-Returns
today from the statewide primary
for the general assembly, which
holds the balance in the machin-
cry for the statewide prohibition
move, seemed to favor the drys.
Southern Maryland also voted to
do away with the sale of intoxi-
cants.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
SOUNDS LIKE
MIC MINDLESS
ADVENTURES

PETROGRAD, Aug. A n.y.
dro-aeroplane attacked a German
gunboat. forced 1t to retire; then
attacked two Zeppelins and a
German hydro-aeroplane and fore
ed them to run for it, the war
office claims.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
THE GOV. SURE
LIKES MOUNTAIN

Ex-Governor John M. Slaton Of
Georgia returned yesterday from
an all-night stay at Mt. Tacoma,
bursting with enthusiasm for the
mountain and the national park.
The former governor and his wife
left for Seattle at 5.45.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
USE HEBREWS TO
SHIELD RUSSIANS

ATLANTIC CITY, N. j., Aug. 4.
Despite the war in Europe the
condition of the Jews has been i'm
proved, 1t was declared at a se3-
sion of B'Nai BIRTH here yester-
day. One speaker said, however,
that the Russian soldiers were
using the Jews for shields on tho
firing line.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

persuaded Miss Ferguson to re-
verse her ideas on matrimony and
men.
Or. T. b. c.. isn't one of the
most men"
Now about the bride-to-be:
Her eyes are as blue as cigar
cite smoke, her hair is a beautiful
auburn shade and a certain con-
tralto note in her gentle voice
gives warning of intensity and
passion.
Miss Ferguson will not give up
her stage career when she be-
comes Mrs. Clarke.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
WOMAN WINS
SI5,249 SUIT

A decree, emitting Anna G..
Mccormick to recover $15,249.55
was issued yesterday by Judge
'Cushman in the federal district
court in the case against A. X.
Titlow, receiver for the United
States National bank of Centralia.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
SUMMARIZED

LONDON, Aug. 4.-The Bel
gian steamer Koophandle was
summarized and sunk today. Its
crew was rescued and landed.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
Seize American
Vessel AS Prize

BERLIN, Aug. with one
lone German officer aboard as a
prize crew." the American bark
Pass of Belmaha arrived at Cux-
haven. The officer had been put
aboard by submarine which
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

Dancing at American Lake pa
vilion Tuesday and Friday nights.
adv"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04
RETREATING SUCCESSFULLY

PETROGRAD, Aug. Aft the
Russians along the Narew front
hold their lines two days more it
is believed the main armies will
reach the new positions assigned
to them and the retreat will be a
complete success.
The drive of Gen. Won Gallwitz
against the railroad from War
saw to Petrograd has been
checked. though with heavy
losses by both sides.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

Miss Isabel Angeles, daughter
of Gen. Felipe Angeles, Villas
chief Of artillery. who is spend
ing the summer In Massachusetts,.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1915-08-04

You may want to swap your piano for an automobile
motorcycle for launch, suit of clothes for bed
stead, monograph for diamond span of horses for
a building lot wagon that runs down hill for pair
Of roller skates, and so
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-01-26
ONLY MOTHERHOOD COULD
GIVE EXPRESSION TO STATUE
MISS Florence l.. Pepic Lectures on
"Thc MnlIcfs Masterpiece"
ut Womnn's Club.

y most sympathetic reading of Ed :
ward hcpie's latest work, The IInllct's
Masterpiece. WAS given yesterday af-
t"rnoon before the Woman's Club by
Miss Florence l.. pcplc. The story is
developed from the mystery cnshroud-
ing the majestic figure Of the Venus
de Milo. which stands facing the east
stairway or the Paris Louvre.
The statue when found i'm the Island
OF Melos In 1920 WAS bercft of it's arms,
and the question has been: "In what
position were they? What did tho
Venus hold in her Outstretchcd hands 90
Nh" fopie has drawn beautiful pic
tnre of the Venus. In dcducing that only
motherhood could give the lofty,
Madonna Ike expression to the face.
In the reproductions of this statue this
EXPRESSION Is sometimes lacking but
TO the visitor to the Louvre, even those
not acquainted with the art technique,
tho face OF the Venus of Melos is the
most wonderful of all.
The story of this writer tells of the
young sculptor finishing his master
piece OF The woman and child which
Is then demolished by a Jealous rival.
But its beauty SO divine cannot he
spoiled and Will continue to live as
The Mallcts Masterpiece"
Miss Pcple's Interpretation OF tho
authors feeling was very Successful
and greatly pleased her mos: critical
listeners. Afternoon tea. as usual, fol-
lowed the afternoons program.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-01-26
IN AND OUT or TowS.

Mrs Thomas Scott has returned to
the city after short visit 10 relatives
in Petersburg.
Miss Katharine Bryan. of Titusville.
Pa. is visiting Mr.. and Mrs. George
Bryan, at bll West Franklin Street.
Mr. and Mrs. Hunter Mann are spend
ing some time in this city rs the guests
OF Dr. and Mrs. Herbert Mann, of SIG
Park Avenue.
Mrs. Alice 1ngcrsoll Carradne, of
Keswick and Washington, spent the
week end with Miss Hester Tabb at her
residence on Monument Avenue.
Mrs. Harris Donnan has returned to
her home In Petersburg, after visiting
relatives In this city.
W. Lawrence Smith. OF the University
Of Virginia, has been visiting relatives
in Richmond.
Mrs ]. il. Smith. who is spending the
winter months mt Southern Pines. is
greatly improved, and expects to return
20 the city about April I.
Mr. and Mrs George j. Seay have
returned from weeks visit to WASH
ington. where Mr.. Seny was In confer
cucc with members Of the Federal Re
serve BOARD.
Miss Yctta Goldcnhcrg. of Newark, y.
H. is the guest OF her cousin, Miss
Cprlyn Machman.
Miss Ruth Eskcw, Of Charleston. w.
Va, is tho guest of Mrs Frank S.
Woodson. ut 400 Stuart Circle.
Mrs. Caroline Washburn lockwood.
u'ho returned from Europe just before
tho outbreak of tho war. Is spending
the winter In Staunton with her tlnuCl-
ter. Mrs. Morris. and arrived In Rich
uond yesterday for n stay of several
days at the jefferson Hotel.
Miss Pauline Towers has returned to
her home here, after n brief stay with
rriativcs III Petersburg.
Mrs. w. j.. Williams, OF Portsmouth.
s visiting her daughter in Richmond
thiS week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Vincent Adamson and
their sister, Miss Lucille Casscl, of Rad
ford. have been visiting in Richmond.
Miss Grace Luck, OF this city, who
has hcen tho guest OF relatives and
friends In Clifton Forge. has returned
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-01-26

An unusually good bill Is presented
at the Lyric this week. and every act
listed OH the program took we'll with
packed house. Each seemed little
better than the one before. so that it
was only an accident of circumstance
that placed the Ciaudschmdtts first
ana Gus Edwards's Matinee Girls last.
and left the latter to he the more re-
mcmbcrcd. The girls are clever and
pretty. too. Il combination too often
Ihchiny IN women Of the stage: and
Edwards himself Is no mean hand with
the ivory keys and in directing the
work OF his nine companions
The Gaudschmitts and their two dogs
perform In rather novel acrobntic and
balancing feats. and when one Gaud-
schmitt stood on tho head OF the
other and one of the dogs surmountcd
the dome of the uppcrmoSt, balancing
himself on his rearward legs the house
was distinctIvcly responsive to the
CANNES mute appeal for recognition
Little Miss Jean" diminutive
coincidence, appeals n first because of
her very diminutivcness. She is so
petite and attractive. such IA mite of
feminine frai!ty. that the house was
hers ere she had begun. and after she