davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.
 nt-4,x xor;+to. ha1a+s 1trfu cfraat

From the Chicago News.
 Dirty politics begets dirty streets.
 Mustard plasters come under the head of drawing instruments.
 The average man thinks he Is many notches above the average man.
 Men talk to amuse others. but women talk just to amuse themselves
 In after years loves young dream oc- casionally develops nightmares.
 He is a dangerous man who thinks he deserves credit for keeping out of jail.
 Every head of the household would like to have his wife worry about him, but she seldom does.
 There are desirable kinds of monopolists. Among them is the man who attends to his own business.
 One kind of nuisance is a man who works but tries to impress people with the idea that he doesn't have to. If a man has the right kind of ma terial in his makeup, it doesn't matter whether he was born with a silver spoon or wooden ladle in his mouth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

associated with the early history of this country to make it a feature of a fair.
 The patriotic women of Philadelphia who are opposed to taking any further risk with the Liberty Bell have the indorsement of a great many people who think it should never be carried about the country again for exhibi- tion purposes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
POETRY
POETRY George Jean Nathan, in February Smart

George Jean Nathan, in February Smart
 Set.
 Whenever the word poetry is mention ed, there is certain to arise full quorum of schoolboys to quote learnedly and loudly from their superstitions. As I pointed out a couple of years ago, one of the chief advertisements provided by the quorum is the belief that poetry should be read in one manner and prose in another: that 1t takes one school of actors to recite verse and another to recite prose. Mince-pie! An actor who is proficient in the recitation of prose Is equally proficient in the recitation of verse. Why should 1t demand a double technique to read the music of "Ceasar and Cleopatra and the music of Stephen Phillips "Herod?" AS matter of truth, is it not a more difficult trick to read well the prose of, let us say, J. M. Barrie. than it is to read the verse of, let us say, Laurence Housman?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
A COMPROMISE
the Louisville Herald.

From the Louisville Herald.
 Look here. Hiram,' said Si, when be you goin to pay me them S fer pasturin your heifer? I've had her now for about 10 weeks
 why, Si, ther critter aint worth nor n $1O.
 well, s'posin' keep her fer what yol owe me?'' Mot by a 'jugful! Tell you what I'll do keep her two weeks more, an you can have her."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
To Have Greatest State Fair

The Birmingham State Fair asso- citation will soon take up the work of preparing and issuing catalogs and securing amusements and turf attrac- tions for next fall, and there is every promise that the fair will be the great est yet held.
 Birmingham's State Fairs are not only widely advertised in the south but competent judges have said that those of recent years have been of the highest excellence and have compared favorably with the best state shows seen in the north.
 In point of agricultural exhibits it should be easy to make an exceptional ly fine hit this year. The crop diversi- fication campaign will have big re- suits within the next two or three years, and results worth while even this year. The very fact that the farmers are aroused to a high pitch of enthusiasm over the diversification movement will mean that they will take keener interest in the fair than ever before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
W. J. BRYAN's BROTHER CHARLEY


 In the Interesting People department in the February American Magazine ap- pears a sketch of Charles w. Bryan. brother of the Secretary of State. He lives in Lincoln, Neb., and there isn't much that Brother William says or does that is not first talked over with -rother Charley, for Brother Charley has had a great deal of experience and is sound adviser. Following is an extract from the article:
 Brother. Charley has never been a del- egate to a democratic national conven- tion, but he hasn't missed one since 1Ss6 Not being a delegate his name has never been heard on roll call, but just the same Brother Charley has rsgistered quite often. The Baltimore convention is not such ancient history that men will have difficulty in recalling a certain res- olution introduced by Brother William,
 which resolution hoisted some verbal brickbats in the direction of two or three gentlemen deemed to be political unde- sirables' It is generally conceded that the resolution had great bearing on the final outcome of that convention, but only a few know that 1t was Brother Charley who advised 1t and particularly pre- pared it.
 Brother William is great orator and great leader, which statement no one will deny; but it is Brother Charley who knows how to perfect the organization and put the boys in the ranks to working overtime.
 His genius for organization work, ana lis willingness to use it for the penen' of others, is so well known in his nome | city of Lincoln that Ee is usually the l first one called upon when a pig CIVIC ] task is to be undertaken.
 Physically Brother Charley and broth- CT William look about as much alike as a goober-nut and butter bean. Ihe only point of resemblance is that neither one
 has any hair to speak of on thas part of the head usually covered By hat. ln- deed. 30 bare is Brother Charley's poll
 that he usually wears a skullcap when
 be |. sunposed to be bareheaded. But
 Inc two brothers are much alike tenn 1 peramentally. Both are anapie' easily approached, and good company at any
 social gathering.
 "Tn short, Brother Charley is Brother | Williams alter ego, and about everything else needful and necessary. He makes al of Brother Williams lecture dates, at tends to all his business. sees that the insurance premiums are kept up m terrupts lot of correspondence"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
SAD rIMEs FOR WHALES
m the New York Timel

Prom the New fOrK Ilmes
 .In the North sea lived a whale." That was long ago. Olivette in Audran's long popular operetta told about the luckless end of that marine mammal in melodious fashion. That whale met a torpedo. and. mistaking it for another and undesir- able fish of strange shape, gave it battle with dire results. Now from the same region we have authentic information of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
A FIELD FOR INVENTION
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 A GAINST the airship and the sub
 "A marine there seems to be no
 A adequate defense. It happens that in the present war Great Britain
 is the nation most menaced by these
 ultra modern contrivances. Her cities
 are threatened by air raids; her ship
 ping is threatened by the unseen terror
 of the sea.
 In the history of military and naval development a defense has always been
 devised against the most startling and
 revolutionary engines of attack. Then
 the inventors go on to invent new weapons. Again the defense is found in due season to nullify or moderate the destructiveness of each innovation. Nearly every war gives practical trial to some new contrivance which sets at naught certain plans of the mili- tary scientists and renders them tenn porarily helpless. When the next war comes the fighters understand how to use the new weapons or how to pro- tect themselves.
 The greatest military innovation was the utilization of gunpowder. It put out of business the old historic weapons The first armies in Europe to use gun powder as greatly outclassed their op- ponents as the pioneers in America out classed the wild Indians armed only with bravery and arrows.
 One of the remote ancestors of the present German Emporer, a margrave
 of Brandenburg who found his barons
 not only rebellious but openly con- temptuous of his power, brought into
 use the first cannon ever seen in Ger
 many. It was clumsy little gun, but 1t battered down robber castles that had been considered impregnable.
 Then they began to build castles to withstand artillery fire. As artillery be- came more efficient the strongholds be-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
BURMESE TATTOOING rom the February Wide World Maga-

zine.
 In spite of the fact that the Burmese tattooers are very skillful, the business is a painful one, and in many cases the patient is kept under the influence of an opiate. The designs traced on the chest and arms are for ornamentation or act as charms. Those on the wrists, for instance are supposed to keep snakes away. Tattooing on the thighs shows that Burmese boy has reached man. hood. The designs are always of animals, each one surrounded by letters or words so that it stands out separate from other patterns. The dyes used in Burma are red and blue, but the former fades quick ly. leaving only the blue showing. The Shans are the best Burmese tatooers. but but their work cannot compare with that of the Japanese.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

BEGINNING THE DAY-O Lord, beIp me to he gentle in my home ms I nm abroad. Help me 10 he as gracious to my own ms If had not yet achieved them. Forbid that the chose should grow com mon, that the possessed should lose its perfections. In Christ's name. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

It is the surest method of alternating the Scandinavian countries and will at the same time give offense to Hol- land.
 The announcement by the German admiralty is an indication that the internal tension is growing in inten- sity-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

Ground-hog day having been duly ob- served, it is now in order to exhume the cherry tree myth and prepare addresses on George Washington.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

highly educated. Why, she makes the most absurd mistakes in grammar and pronunciation" What meant was that old MT. Blud- ger spent s20,000 on the process
 USUALLY EMPTY.
 With cold in his head,
 He's still feeling fair;
 Is thankful. 'tis said,
 To find something there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

If all the pictures of President Wilson and the Sayre baby have beer published,
 change to something else would be
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

The man who is afraid to shake hands with anybody for fear of germs. doesn't seem to live any longer than the average person and frequently not as long.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
A RARE DISH.

What sort of salad is that, anyhow?'
 Search me. It tastes like minced over shoe with gasoline sauce"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

A comedian explains the var in E'l- rope by saying the Kaiser was all dresed tended to visit Paris, but was unavoid- ably prevented.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

came stronger, till masonry was aban-
 doned, and other means of construction
 adopted. Since the day of the first can non it has been an endless game. At the outbreak of the present. war such
 up-to-date Notifications as those of
 Liege were considered impregnable, but the Germans brought up their new ] Krupps and battered them to pieces. Now there will be new schemes of for tification. and greater cannon to render ineffective the denfense which is ef- fective to meet the assaults of today. In the Franco -Prussian war the Prus-
 sians were armed with new breech- load ing rifles. The French mostly retained the old muzzle-loaders, which, alone, would have been enough of a handicap to assure ultimate German victory. The appearance of Ericsson's monitor
 in the American civil war quite revo- lutionized the worlds navies. There seemed to be no possible defense against the tiny craft; and no defense was pos sible in the established naval science of the day. But it was not difficult for the naval inventors not only relegate the monitor to the curiosity shop, but | to keep on developing new ideas year after year, to the increasing distress of
 national economists, till the dread naught and super -dreadnaught have l been evolved. The torpedo boat was for a time the terror of the seas; it was met by the torpedo boat destroyer. which has now practically replaced the older type.
 | When the Monitor appeared in Hamp- ! ton Roads it was doubtless as great a problem to the naval and military in ventors as the submarine Is today. There Is reason to believe that before the end of the present war some re- sourceful mind in Britain or elsewhere will find way to circumvent the de- lstructive activities of the submarine and
 of the ship which flies in the air.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

Battleship hats for women are on dis play. After man pays for one he feels as if he had been torpedoed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

with wheat flour up to $9.50 a barrel, will somebody please send in recipe for pumpernickel?" asks the Boston Globe. Sounds like the last word in something to eat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

How can war correspondent do him. self justice when he's expected to de- scribe in glowing terms the gain of a few yards?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

.Inteligent women hate to be wooed for their wealth." says the Chicago News And on the other hand, intelli- gent women hate not to be wooed at all.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

London and Paris are keeping their valuable paintings underground during the war, but they'll never be missed by the sort of people who get all their "art' from magazines and billboards
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

There are nearly 15o,Oo0 physicians in the United States. and every blessed one o1 them seems to own 9. Ford.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

British soldiers call Ypres "Wipers." A striking example of putting the English on if"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

The fact that Richmond Pearson Hob- son thinks unkindly of President Will son and Secretary Bryan is going to raise them in the estimation of many people who formerly disiked them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
PESsIMISTIC.

I don't know when this war will end, I really cannot say, But greatly fear than when it does I will have passed away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
MANS STOMACH

It's true that no lives are lost in a chess tournament but a lot of valuable time is.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
SPARED FOR A PURPOSE.

SPARED FOR A PURPOSE. You say your cook is a joke in the kitchen. Why do you keep herr" Well, you see, It's like this Although she can't cook. she's the only woman I ever saw who could throw straight and as it will soon be time for me to start a garden, thought she might be useful in putting the neighbors chickens to rout while I'm at the office''
 GREAT HAPPINESS. Rain and hail and sloppy snow. Weather couldn't be sadder; Yet we whoop and gladstone grow, He didn't see his shadder
 Philadelphia Telegraph. Presume it is the ground hog that Inspires such joyous feeling. Ere long we'll see 'em at the bat And on to second stealing
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

The art of our necessities Is strange, that can make vile things precious.
 Lear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

Of course we have our troubles down here in Dixie, but a pedestrian can at least venture forth without danger of slipping on an icy sidewalk and burst ing anything breakable that he happens to be carrying in his hip pocket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
PAYING THE FORFEIT.

PAYING THE FORFEIT. H. did not know
 Why he should go
 And sleep each night in bed. .'I'll stay awake
 And pleasure take Wherever found" he said. Mere loss of sleep Shall never keep Me from the white lights glow; The giddy throng, Wine, women. song
 The pace that's far from slow" Twas thus he spoke,
 His health soon broke, He's like ghost, they say. He wouldn't rest, But soon he'll test The kind that lasts for aye MIGHT WADDLE. "well?"
 You don't seem impressed. I'm waiting to see how she walks DISTINCTIVE.
 "so that's college yell those boys are giving?" 'Yes Sounds odd, doesn't it?" True, but I believe a college yell is intended to sound like nothing else on earth.'' A QUICK CHANGE. q used to know an old-fashioned man who spoke of any police official as a 'minion of the law
 What's become of him?"
 ''He was given a minor place in the police department and now he's as up- to-date as anybody
 WASTED MONEY.
 q thought you said Miss Bludger was
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06

Dumb brutes, because of their inferior ity to the '1ords of creation" are fre- quently subjected to cruel treatment A man who is cruel to his horse or his mule, or his dog, or ..ny other animal is himself a brute in the worst -4eeptation of the term, but societies for the pre- vention of cruelty to animals, due to wantoness or carelessness, are necessary
 There are such societies in all parts of the country and they do good work. Massachusetts has a Society for the Pre- vention of Cruelty to Children. report shows that during the year ending Oc- tober 31, 1914, the society had extendel its work to 232 Massachusetts cities and towns and had prosecuted 97S cases in court, involving 1922 children. The society investigated 4s4S cases and helped 12, ,51s children. The years work cost sS6,00O. Of this amount $3l, 900 was provided by con- tributions, $S2,0Oo by bequests and $13,OOo by trust funds, leaving a deficit of s10,O0O
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-02-06
WASTED MONEY

q thought you said Miss Bludger was
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
AUCTIONS

JOHNSON 4 ZINN'S SALE DATES
j. II. Buster, 4 miles southwest of
El Centro, oct. Is; % dairy cows, 65
head young stock
Gillett Bros. Z miles southeast of
lIoliNill", oct u. 75 dairy cows, 81
head Of young stock: genuine closing
out sale.
W. u. Poolc, - miles west OF EI
'eniro, Oct. II; 80 head OF dairy
cows; 20 horses
Seitz Butcher. ! milo north Of
lleher, Oct %; horses. hogs. cows
aud hCifcrS.
Big closing out Ranch Sale, Nov l.
watch for big bills 113
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
roR sALl3-i.iNE SrocI<

For SALE Ranch team Weighing
100, S9ai gentle pony for children.
-. sound delivery mare, some speed,
$50, 3-Nea1-old black colt. single.
double, weighing 1.10O, 500: best
horse in city for SIS. We are dis
solving partnership. Call 469 Park
ST, Ei Centro. 40
For SALE CHEAP. for cash. fine
driving and saddle mare; in foal to
registered saddle horse; this animal
must be seen TO be appreciated; on
my ranch adjoining the John Webb
place, 6l2 miles $. W. El ccntro G.
A. Mcdonald, A5I Hamilton Ave. FL
Gentro.
FOR SALEZ1i0 shoats. healthy and
thrifty good feeders. will sell all or
nart and deliver. Burritt $. Allen.
Calipatria. Ranch miles northwest
Of lockwood.
FOR SALE Cheap=One mule. weight
loo lbs; one horse. LOO; one mare.
100, wagon and harness. II. II.
Phelps, Melolaud. x1I2
FOR SALE 81 choice heifers. some
milking, 500 each terms. J. G.. De
lozier, lo9 South Sixth St. El Cen
tr9.
FoB sALE-onc span good work
mules. or will trade for corn or hogs.
Box $50, GaleNico. Cal.
FOR SALE a choice lot of Duroc-Jer-
SeN boars. all ages. G.. ID. Wnlough-
by q Sons. Calcxico.
FOR SALE 60 strictly A dairy cows.
SO per head cash. Box 73, Holt
vile. X171
SEE w L. CAMPBELL for Holstcin
bulls. One mile west on Dahlia ca
nal X150
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
NOTICE or SALE oF SToCk ron
nl.IINAI L.NI AsAIss MLAI.

FCTT DoVcT0pmenI I0mpAnN. LoNaTlOn
of principal place of business, El Cen
tro. Imperial county, California.
Notice is hereby given mat there is
delinquent upon the following dc
sCribcd stock Of the corporation. on aC-
count Of assessment levied on the 2Sth
day of August, 1915. the several
amounts set opposite the names of the
respective shareholders. as follows:
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
MoNitA Tn LnA&

LOMBARD y SON. INC, Loan aEcnfs
Tor the linion Central Life Insurance
tomPdnN, have money To loan on
lrat class farm security, long time
loans, annual interest. with liberal
prepayment privileges. = j. Mont
roHcrN. Aer. Room .. Security Bank
Bldg. El Centre, cal.
lihNCIi LOANS, vacant aud improved,
in sums of &1,5o0. 5000, $500. 81.
oeo, $1,000, 5000. Sb.0O0. S7,000 SIS.
ona, $4,000, $l0.G0o. VIII Loan in X Kcrn.
Gularc, Fresno or Imperial counties.
iW"crH address I. q. EoN 9S1, Los
Angeles; s per cent interest 143
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
MUSIC ~
NOTICE OF DELINQUENT SALE.

EFGcnilo Country club. Location ol
principal place of business. 80 Main
slroel. Ei Contra California.
Notice: There is delinquent upon llle
foIlaWlus descrihcd stock. Oh account
Of Assessment No ;, levied on lhc 23rd
day of August, 1913. In several
amonhI~ sci Opposite Ihc names Of HE
respective shareholders, as follows:
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13

Have your Vacation Films finished
al Evan naNis Sludlo. ; doors west
Of posIorrire. W" lave now installed
a special modern department for anna
trur finiShin@= ADV. Nl36
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
WANTED-LIVE STOCK

WANTED To buy for cash, good work
team. about 1,30o pounds each. e
8hiiloW, miles south L. mile west
ot pumping plant.
WANTED To rent 4-hcad team horses
or mules; state price. Address p. O.
IioN 5hg. X1Jh
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
Mrs. Va. e. COY.

teacher Of piano, will open her class,
corner Fifth and Brighton, DEL. /. pn-
pills may enroll from now OH for pref
--La.LL.n ~ nnLlL-- AlA
Imperial Valley press., 1915-10-13
WNNTED-ItE,I. ESTATE

+ rANrED Real estate. Have several
pieces Of good southern California
property 10 trade for valley ranches.
VIII look at your ranches at once.
Il. \. Allen. oregon Uotcl for this
week