Omaha daily bee., 1915-07-19
Reaching the
Child Heart
BY Virginia Terhune Van de Water.


20 attempt 10 add TO the mass Of advice
TO parents-to the suggestions as TO how
and when one should punish. IL at all
70 the counsel as 20 various models Of
restraining the child. OF making an
obedsent creature OF him or allowing him
10 exercise his own individuality"
We all recall the paraphrase OF Solo
mons directions: "Chain up n child and
away he viii 60" Though 1t is supposed
20 be only a humorous paraphrase, II
sometimes proves sadly true.
The fact remains that parents have
lived to little purpose ~ they are not
more capable OF guiding the youngsters
than are the youngsters themselves. SIN
the amending and evcrburning question,
Is how 10 do Il?
II IL, OF course. useless TO attempt 10
make any one rule TO fit every case. In
one family the first child needed stern
discipline. while the second was hard
ened by the very process that had sue
ceeded admirably with her sister. To
study the character OF the little one. and
to decide what course 20 pursue in each
case, IL the by no means easy task laid
out for the parent.
And az the parent who In most with
the little boy or girl and upon whom
devoivea most of the training IL the
mother I would tell her OF what one
mother declares has been an Invaluable
aid in the managemsnt Of her children.
Il IL simply this; Take the child into
your confidence.
To explain: One littie giri had q vo-
lent temper which punishments Of
various kinds failed to subduo or con-
troll. The loving mother prayed about II.
thought about It. asked advice Of her
family. co-operated with her husband in
his efforts to find, way TO teach the
little ono that she must not fly INTO n
rage and kick and scream Then, when
almost discouraged. the mother hit upon
the happy idea OF asking the advice OF
the girl herself.
She waited until tho little girl vas in
a sunny mood. Taking her upon her lap.
she begun by explaining 10 her that God
had placed upon every mother the duty
of making the best OF the character OF
tne child entrusted 10 her care. OF keep
ing the body and soul OF this child In a
condition as near perfection ms possible.
All this was told in short. easily compro-
hended words
The mother called the little ones at
tention 20 the fact that she. the child,
was very truthful. and that therefore the
mother would not be blamed for produo-
ing a deceitfurwoman. she praised other
good quaiities,s such as neatness. prompt
obedience. etc. Lastly. she reminded her
gently that there was one thing IN which
she. as a mother. had faiied. and that
was IN teaching her little girl self-c0ntroi
She warned yher listener that this temper
would grow with her growth until at
last II wouldfbecomo her master not her
servant.
"And nowy' the wise parent said. Il am
going 10 aslxNyou 70 help me get the best
OF tiris fault. When you were a baby
you were not wise enough 20 help me In
this work that God has given ua 20 do
But now He wants you and me TO see
just how good a child we can mako Of
you, just what we can do with that
temper OF your. VIII you help me. dar-
ilnE9'
The small cir; promised ana kept the
promise. This compact was a little sec
ret between the uwo. or course there
were times when anger would get tho
best Of good resolutions. but loving
reminder from the mother would abate
the storm OF passion. The scream would
cease suddenly as the words, Please
help me. dariingi'' were spoken. And in
a few years the vistory was won. not
that the temper was banished. one
would not want % do away with A. But
Il was controlled.
The same plan proved successful In the
case OF a chilc who found Il difficult 70
tell the truth. Puniehments OF various
kinds awaited nothing. AT last. one day
when he was detected In a faisehood. his
mother did not even scold him lie looked
al her surprised.
Aren't you going 10 punish meY' he
asked.
mo. dear" she said. sadly. you aro
old enough now 70 know that l cannot
conquer this evil without your help,
When you were little the blame for your
naughtiness rested with me. Now you
have sense enough 20 know that a lie Il
. sin. and that Il II sin that Injuries
your own soul All the punishmenta IN
the world wont break you OF the habit
OF untruthfulness' unless you are wiliine
10 help God and me Ia our aim 70 make
a good. honorable man OF you"
Il wiz hello God and you. mother" the
hoy declared.
A new sense Of responsibility for tins
formation Of his own character had beer
born IN the lads mind. He appreciated
though only very dimly al first. that n.
was thinking Gods thoughts after
Him." ana be won his fight for truth.
After All. children ara reasonable be
hsgs-althoCfh We do not always Civ,
them credit for A. And n treated hon
estly and squareiy. they will usually re-
ward US With honesty and squareness.
Of course such g plan as has been sug.
Sested must be considered confidentia.
between mother and child While the nttls
one Is young. The knowledge that ths
Parent has trusted him enough TO oonfads
% him the secret OF the great work en-,
trusted 70 her imDresses the child and
brings out all that Is best In him.
One cannot expect any sudden change
In the development OF the normal boy OF
SRI. ana che must not despise the days
Of the small beginnings or Be discouraged
AZ many 'lapaes from gruce" But II
M desire Is present a. assist m ne lofty
purpose Of forming q noble. self-con-
troiied honorable man or woman. the
ceiid VIII do ms or her share In a way
nat VII make the mother thank Cod and