davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

He Had to Have the Mchsy.
i've simply got to have an increase
In salary"
what for? Are you going to get
married."
Worse than that, boss. Ny need b
greater. I've an automobile"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09
Qualified.

Lawyer-Have you formed any opin-
ION?
Jury Talesman-No, sir: l was ON
the case at the previous trial.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

II was out walking with Billy, and
looked daggers at him."
mo wonder he was 80 cut up"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

Following Suggestion.
Italy is shaped like Q boot"
Maybe that's the reason its been
doing 30 much kicking.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

Marriage IL form of speculation IN
which the women participate on equal
terms with the men.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09


quail salad
their coffee monkey palms
gambian around the table, afraid
the leopard bit
skin the cenepece table
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09
Immune.

"Good-by. old man. I'm on for Eur
rope tomorrow"
Aren't you afraid Of submarinesr
Not bit. get 90 seasick on the
water that l don't care what happens
to me-"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

Women undergo greater trials than
men," True. fair one. but no matter
whom they have murdered there's al.
ways an acquittal or hung jury
Louisville Courier Journal.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

It Depends.
The world goes on In cycles"
Some of 1t goes on. when they're
motor cycles"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

At sixty man knows that he didn't
know what he thought he knew at
twenty.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

What has become Of the old-fhsh-
Toned woman who took snu6 for weak
eyes?
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09
9all-Riahtaous.

Some people," said Uncle Eben.
talks about heaven like 1t was their
own property dat dey was preparfn'
to tack No admittanee' sign on to-"
Warrington Star.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09
The easls Of tils Belief.

The ea0t0 Of He Belief.
How can you say my husband is
happy in heaven. and me not there?"
That's what I was thinking about"
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

Does he act with spirit?"
Il never saw him act without it,.
Baltimore American.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

R0clprocIty.
She-Here IL my v-shaped waist.
He-And here IL the x-shaped bill<-
baltimore American.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

Her Objection. 4
Shell don't mind late callers.
He-Oh. thank you.
She-It's late stayers l object to.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09
DOG DEvouRs EXHIBIT A"
White calf's Red Ear Did Not Appear
In Theft Case In CALI
fornla.

San Francisco.-Elmer Norgard, son
of a wealthy rancher. did not steal
from the Round Valley (Cal) Indian
reservation one white calf with red
ears, a jury in the United States dis
trict court found here a few days ago.
The calls value was placed at SIS.
The case cost the government $4,000,
1t was said. A notched calls ear that
was to have figured as Exhibit A"
did not appear in the case.
Daniel Deram. forest ranger. said his
dog ate It.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1915-07-09

Defined.
What queer smell the automo.
biles leave behind them!"
ITS the road scorching."
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
WcN HONOR WITH THE FIST
Earned the Victoria Cross by the Use of Their Bare Hands.

Skill in fsticuffs has several times won the Victoria Cross. At Inkerman, for instance. Capt Hugh Rowlands saved his commanding officer, Colonel Hay, by straight lefthander. Hay was wounded and lying on the ground, with a gigantic Russian standing over him and about to plunge a bayonet to his heart. when Rowlands, who had lost his sword. smashed the Russian with his left hand, knocking the man unconscious. Rowlands got the V. c.
 At Jeerum, in India. during the in dian mutiny. Gen. James Blair, whose sword had been broken of at the hilt and who had no other weapon, dashed into a crowd of armed mutineers and knocked five of them down with his fists in a few seconds. The Victoria Cross also went to him.
 Another officer whose sword broke at the handle while in action was Ad- miral Tug" Wilson. who at Fl feb, howled over six Arabs with his fists. He not only won the V. c, but also his nickname, being called Tug" VII son after an English boxer who about tha time had gained brief notoriety by fighting John L. Sullivan, the heavy weight champion boxer of the world.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
IDEAL FOR SUMMER HOUSE
Most Attractive Table Is One Covered With chintz and Fitted With a
 Plate Glass Top.

For the well-appointed summer house, table covered with chintz and htted with plate glass top is exceed ingiy attractive This is very expensive If ordered from a professional decora- tor; but if you buy the chintz yourself ht 1t to your table and have the glass cut to measure, the cost will be much less and the effect quite as pleasing.
 Another device for an inexpensively furnished country house is the trans formed kitchen table cheap kiteh- en table can be treated in a variety of ways to make an attractive bedside or writing table for the guest chamber One that l have seen, for a green and white bedroom, had the legs sawed of to convenient length and was painted an apple green. Over the top was stretched-and tackled on the under side-a cover of green denim; on the top of this was set large green writ ing blotter, rack for note paper and a green pottery ink we'll The result was pretty and original writing ta- bic at cost of two dollars and half
 A kitchen table painted white and decorated to match the chintz or wall paper is attractive; but this demands some skill with the brush.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
LARGER EXPORTS OF COTTON
Had Wholesome Influence in Correct. n9 Collapse of Prices-Trade Bal
 anee of S25,0oo 0oo.

The increase in exports of cotton manufactures has had a wholesome influence in correcting the collapse of cotton prices in the South, but al though the total exports for the last ten months exceed by several million dollars the cotton exports for similar periods in the past, the real test can be made only in the domestic mar ket.
 Official figures made public by the department of commerce show an indicated export total of approxi- mately $75.000,000 for the fiscal year, while imports will fall below $50.000,, 000, making a favorable balance of trade amounting to $25,000.000 This net business done by American manu- lecturers cannot fail to be gratifying. It means that there will be $25. .000000 to be spent in the United States, which otherwise would have been held in Europe.
 Administration officials. however, should pay greater attention to the improvement of domestic conditions. says Washington Post. These condi- tions have been improving, but the department of commerce would do well to consider all possible methods of increasing domestic trade
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
TWO DRAWBACKS IN FARMING
Want of Good Roads and Absence of Social Pleasure Big Handicaps
 Farmers Must Cooperate.

That American farmers must coop crate Tn order to get the rural credit they need is the belief of Myron T. Herrick, former ambassador to France, and Ohio finaneier. In order for a CO., operative system to be successful, ac- eording to Mr Herrick, the farmers must build it up themselves for their own vital needs. Mir. Herrick gave the principal address before the Ma tional Fertilizer association conven- tion at Hot Springs. Va. few days ago. his subject being The Need of Rural Credits"
 Outside assistance to the farmer will not do, MT Herrick says The want of good roads and the absence of social pleasure are the two chief drawbacks to the farming business at the present time. outside the lack of organization selling and marketing through cooperation. which overshad- ows all other troubles of the farmer "The rural cooperative bank works for the individua' good through the common good of it's members. The banks grand object is to assemble the individual resources of its members and organize and strengthen their pur- chasing and selling power"
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
Had PeIIagra Seven Years Thanks God He's Cured

Cowards, S. C.-David c. Pate, of this place, writes: q am glad to say to you, after waiting forty days, that I still feel like I am cured of pellagra. had this disease for the last seven years. The fourth day after beginning your medicine I went back to work and have been able to do my work ever since. I thank God for your remedy"
 There IS no longer any doubt that pei lagra can be cured Don't delay until 1t is too late It IS your duty to consult the resourceful Baughn.
 The symptoms-hands red like sunburn, skin peeling eff, sore mouth, the lips, throat and tongue flaming red with much mucus and choking; indigestion and nausea, either diarrhoea or constipation
 There is hope; get Baughn's big Free book on Pellagra and learn about the remedy for Pellagra that has at last been found. Address American Compromising Go, box POST, Jasper, Ala, remembering money Is refunded in any case where the remedy fails to cure.-Adv.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
RATHER GAVE HIMSELF AWAY
Uncle Eph Had Not Considered Just What His Assertion Meant to
 His Pending Case.

Uncle Eph, an old colored man, was up in court, accused of stealing a watch. He pleaded not guilty. and, moreover, brought against the com plainant eounter-charge of assault. The man, he declared, had tried to kill him with an iron kettle.
 During the cross-examination the attorney, Lawyer Bennett, demanded, Dare you say that my client attacked you with an iron kettle?"
 Dat what he done. sah," replied Uncle Eph," with nervous gulp.
 With an iron kettle. eh?s sarcastic. ally reiterated the lawyer That's a fine story for big, strong fellow like you to try to impose upon this hon orable court And had you nothing with which to defend yourself?"
 "0nly de watch, sah' was the un- wary reply; "but what's a watch agin an iron kettle, sah ?"-Harper Maga- zine.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
Radlun in Air and Soil

J. R Wright and O F. Smith at Ma nila have spent more than q year in Investigating the amount of radium in the air and i'll the soil under differ ing conditions. The effect of weather conditions upon the rate at which ra- dium emanation is eXhaled from the ground and the relation of the rate of exhalation to the radioaetivity of soil gas at different depths were also in. vestigated. Rainfall and wind move ment seem to be the principal meteor ological controls, the amount of em- anatien in the air being greatest when these factors are at mini mum. and vice versa. A decided di- hrnal variation is found to ex- ist, the emanation content being considerably greater by night than by day The rate at which radium emanation is exhaled from the surface of the ground shows a decided de crease after periods of heavy rain.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
SOME HINTS FOR BUILDERS
Great Care Should Be Taken in Seec- ton of the Most Substantial
 Roofing Material.

If you were without preparation CT plan, rudely placed in a wilderness your first thought would be of food supply and your next of shelter, for these are the two most vital necessi ties of mankind It is therefore natural that the best thought, and study are put upon these two essen tials
 More forward steps have been taken in the building industry in the past fifteen years, as regards comfort service and architectural beauty than in the fifty years previous.
 Only in recent years has the hand ling of cement in building work been understood properly, and progress is still constantly being made with it Modern hotels and office buildings are being equipped with sheet metal mouldings and steel veenered doors Nearly every important change in building construction is away from the fire hazard of wood
 One of the most significant develop, ments of recent years is the crushed slate surfaced asphalt shingle which is, on new construction and old, rapid ly supplanting the wooden article There are many reasons for this. The slate surfaced shingles add beauty to any building-in fact, there is really no comparison from an architectural standpoint. Crushed slate of pleasing tints of red or green. is employed as a surfacing. The shingles are uniform ly eight inches wide and are exposed four inches to the weather. No paint ing is necessary as the red or green crushed slate Is natural and therefore cannot fade.
 The purchaser. however, should guard himself against buying slate surfaced shingle that is not guaran- teed by reliable and responsible manufacturer. There are so many kinds of roofing and shingles on the market today each claiming to be the best that it becomes necessary for the buyer to get some satisfactory assur- ance that the roofing or shingles are represented honestly.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
Rich Orange Cake. .

Yolks of five eggs. two cupfuls gran ulated sugar. two cupfuls bread flour. one-half eupful cold water, one-half teaspoonful soda, one teaspoonful cream tartar. whites of three eggs, grated peel and juice of one orange.
 Beat yolks until thick, sift sugar three times and add Beat the whites of eggs stiff and add to first mixture. next the water and soda, then flour and cream of tartar sifted twice Last ly. add the orange juice and grated rind. Bake in dripping pan. and when done cut in halves and frost with orange frosting
 Frosting Whites of three eggs, one orange juice and grated peel and powdered sugar to make stiff enough to spread. This cake is not good un- til the day after making Be sure to use bread flour. Frosting may be made without whites of eggs.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
COOPERATION IN AUSTRALIA
Societies Organized for Purchase and Sale-OWn Valuable Warehouses
 Handle Farm Machinery.

Australian agriculture has necpIiari. .ies or It's own. In the early days farms were usually eighty acres in extent, but various conditions, among which no doubt the dryness of the eilmate was predOminate. made farms ot this size economically unprofftabfe and the range in size now is from one to nye thousand acres, stocked with modern machinery, and so equipped generally that each Is independent of all others Naturally cooperation, such as we have among small farmers ana fruit growers, would not and could not develop. Instead of this, coop efation in Australia consists of a few large societies organized for purchase and sale, says Farm, Stock and Home. These societies have their thousands of members, own valuable warehouses, handle machinery and farm supplies, and conduct a huge volume of busi- ness.
 There are two societies in particu- lar that call for attention. One has been in existence about twenty-five years, and now has 6.000 members. Be sides it's machinery and produce ware houses in various parts of the country. conducts large banking business ana publishes monthly magazine. Inc society handles practically every thlng going from and coming to the farm. All profits, outside of an ample reserve fund, are distributed among the members who hold about seventy thousand shares; not less than ten shares may be held by any member, and the largest actual number held is about two hundred and fifty. The vot- Ing power is, therefore, we'll distrib- uted, and is so limited that it is i'm possible for any small group of men 10 obtain control. Shares are trans Iefred under certain limitations. Seven directors manage the society, the bus mess of which is divided into depart ments.
 The other organization was started about eighteen years ago. This grew out of the dissatisfaction which cer- tain farmers felt with prices obtained in the town. They appointed their own agent in the city market; the agent was charged with the sale of the wood and the purchase of needed household supplies Gradually the transaction extended to other farm products. Stores were opened at rail- way points. There are now fifteen of these stores, and the company also maintains steamer on the Murray river Twenty-Five hundred members hold shares. amounting to a capital of $l55,000, with a reserve of $17000. A bonus of , per cent on purchase, the same for the use of the capital, is usu- ally paid
 Cooperative dairy farming and fruit growing also has received some atten- tion. There are a number of co-opera- tive butter and cheese factories in one of the grazing districts, and these. as rule. have been successful. Co operation in fruit growing has but re gently been introduced, and gives ev- cry promise of being a success. There is talk of a central federation of CO operative societies, and this may be looked for as one of the logical steps of the near future
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
CALOMEL MAKES YOU SICK, UGH!
 H'S MERCURY AND SAL|VATES
Sraighen Up! Don't Lose Days Work Clean Your Sluggish
 Liver and Bowels With "Dodson's Liver Tone"

Ughl Calomel makes you sick Take dose of the vile, dangerous drug to- night and tomorrow you may lose a days work.
 Calomel is mercury or quicksilver which causes necrosis of the bones. Calomel. when it comes into contact with sour bile crashes into it, break. ing it up This is when you feel that awful nausea and cramping. If you feel sluggish and 'tall knocked out" if your liver is torpid and bowels eensti- pated or you have headache dizziness. coated tongue, if breath is bad or stomach sour just try a spoonful of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone.
 Here's my guarantee-Go to any drug store or dealer and get a 50-cent bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone Take spoonful tonight and if it doesn't
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
MILLS RUNNING FULL TIME
Cotton Industry of New England Seems Permeated With life-PIeas-
 ina News for the Southerner

News comes from the manufactur- ing sections of New England that cot ton mills are running in some instances three shifts a day and many more are running double shift The whole in dustry seems to be permeated with life, in decided contrast with the con ditions prevailing year ago.
 This is good news for the cotton raising sections of the South, for 1t indicates that a large amount of cot ton is being worked up in this coun- try that has been going abroad.
 The cheering news has also leaked out that every cotton mill in Texas is running full time, and that orders are piling up Now. if the cotton raiser will keep his head, and not allow him self to be stampeded, there may be good times. sure enough, in Texas Fort Worth Record.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
SECURING UNITY OF ACTION
More and Better Farmers oreaniza- tions Are Needed-Concerted
 Effort in South Carolina.

The farmers need organization and sadly lack, at present, means to se- cure unity of action among the sev- eral states. Those who are interest ed in buying cheap cotton act as a unit, while we farmers are a disor ganized mass with no concert of ac- tion. The South Carolina State Ware house System shows what can be ac- complished by concentrated effort. writes John L. McLaurin in Progress siye Farmer When we began to take over warehouses we found the insur- ance rates so high as to be almost prohibitive The difference between a warehouse in the country and fourth class town was so great that it was Impossible to store cotton except in the towns. The rate in the country was $3.50 hundred, and on house Of the same construction in a town where there was no water protection. 1t was s1.75. We have had a eonsid- erable battle, but have won out, and are now getting rate of Sl.5S hun dred on cotton stored in the country, and with no distinction made between a country warehouse and a warehouse in fourth class town
 The intention of the system is to provide for direct sales from the state warehouse to the cotton manufactur CTS, but, owing to the war, 1 have not deemed it advisable to attempt this as yet. However, there is no practi- cal reason why it cannot be done, and l shall probably take steps in that di reetion before long
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
Cooperation.

The Emporia idea of better union between the town and country is grow ing. For an example, read this item from recent issue of the Coffeyville Journal:
 Harmony Grange near Chanute, in- vited the Chanute Commercial club to meet with it and the invitation was ac- cepted. The purpose of the meeting is to bring the business men and farm CTS in closer touch.
 A proper cooperation between the town and country results in a greater progress for both than can be obtained by them working independent of each other. Other communities should fol low the example of Emporia and Cha. mute in this union.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
PANCAKES ON SUMMER DAYS.
Made in the Right Way They Are Just as Welcome as Those Popular
 in the Winter.

Very tempting griddle cakes may be prepared without a soapstone griddle or in fact any griddle-if you have all ordinary frying pan and a good hot flame from an oil or gas burner. Sum mer pancakes should be thin, delicate ly Drowned and rather small, for the appetite is not as hearty as on a crisp winter morning. For two people. mix a cupful of four. pinch of salt, tea spoonful of sugar and a level tea spoonful of baking powder. Beat up one egg in about half eupful of sweet milk and add this to the batter. If it is not thin enough to pour easily add little water or more milk. Have the griddle-or frying pan very hot and well greased-and pour a little of the batter from the tip of a spoon to make each pancake. Turn with a knife as soon as the batter bubbles in the pan. If the cakes brown without cooking through the griddle is too hot; if they refuse to brown, 1t is not hot enough.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
Aduertise Your Crops.

In every small city in the land there is splendid market for every kind of fruit and vegetable that is produced in it's vicinity, and many of these markets are continually in want of large quantities of produce which could be supplied by the immediate vi einitv. But these wants are frequent ly but poorly supplied at best, and then usually by produce shipped in from the outside. This opportunity is continually facing every producer, and the key to the situation is adver- tising
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
Kentucky Spoon Bread.

Two cupfuls cornmeal, two tea spoonfuls salt, two eggs, one and one half cupfuls buttermilk. one teaspoon ful soda. one and one-half tablespoon fuls butter
 Scald the cornmeal with enough hot water to make it the consistency of mush. Add salt and butter. and set it aside to cool then beat in the eggs whipped light: dissolve the soda in the buttermilk, beat into the mixture, and bake in a rather deep buttered pan in a quick oven for thirty-five or forty minutes. IT Good Housekeeping Magazine.
The Monticellonian., 1915-09-02
CUTICURA SHAVING
Is up-to-Date Shaving for Sensitive
 Skins. Trial Free.

Prepare razor. Dip brush in hot water and rub it on Cuticura Soap held in palm of hand. Then make lather on face and rub in for moment with fingers. Make second lathering and shave. Rub bit of Cuticura Oint- ment over shaven parts (and on scalp if any dandruff or itching1 and wash all off with Cuticura Soap and hot water, shampooing same time. One soap for all-shaving, shampooing, bathing and toilet It's velvet for sen sitiye skins. No slimy mug. No germs No waste of time or money. Free sample each, if you wish. Address postcard, "Cuticura. Dept. KY, Bos- ton" Sold verywhere.-Adv.