davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

Mr. Bowser smoked and read.
Then he chuckcd the paper away and
talked to the cat.
Then he hummed the air of song.
Then lie looked at the clock.
Then he rose up and stretched and
yawncd.
be told, as the mournful howl of a dog
came from the street to cause Mrs. Bow
ser to eXClaim:
Mercy on me. but go out and drive
BY George, but that's a curious coin
CidenCe!' exclaimed Mr.. Bowser, as he
got up. 1T was only this afternoon that
I was reading long article on transmit
in front of my door
Il don't see any curiOus coincidence
about it, replied Mrs; Bowser: Jf you
had been reading a long article about
Noah and his ark. the dog would have
come just the same. Please go out and
club him away"
We tell that the soul of some of our dead
friends has not passed into that dog
and returned to the earth again?'
You may sneer and sneer. but there
are thousands who believe in transmigra-
tion. I'm almost believer myself. Hear
that howl? There's something about ii
to remind me of the voice of some one
who 1 have known. 1 won't do no driving
away until I've had look at the ami
mai"
Mr.. Bowser put on his hat and passed
out. The dog sat at the gate and was
getting ready for another howl. but
chOked it of into a whine as the door
opened. As no clubs were thrown or cuss-
words used he made bold to jump the
fence and enter the yard. He was long.
lank. ilI-used bObtailed dog. who had evil
IDENTIFY cut loose from home and was free
lanCinG around the country. Mr.. BOwser
was about to utter yell and scare the
canine out of years growth when Mrs.
Bowser spoiled it all by opening the door
and demanding.
We'll. why don't YOU drive him away.
or has he turned out to be an old friend
of yours
Mr.. Bowser snapped his fingers, and
as the dog came trOtting up the steps he
was ushered into the hall and through
to the sitting-room. The family cat was
living under a chair and seemed asleep,
but il didn't take her over the thOuSandth
part of a second to wake up and light on
that intruder. There was n miXup for
few seconds. during which Mrs. BOwser
ran upstairs. Mr. BOwser got n chair,
and cat and dog rolled over each other on
the floor. Then the cat flew upstairs after
Mrs Bowser. and the dog sat down and
about that dogs face. There's an eN-
preston about the mouth which awakens
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
MAKING HIM WHOLE.

1T takes the glorious old West 10 do
business" said the man with the alIi-
gator grip as he boarded the train at
st. Paul We of the East are not in it
a little bit"
Anything to relate?" queried one Of
the passengers as he woke up.
Just few words. Travelled from New
York to Chicago with a starved-IOoking
girl. At Buffalo I vas gone on her. At
Detroit We were engaged. AS VIC reached
Chicago she had set the date. returned
home, wrote her $50 love letters, and
came out here to get married"
And what"
She decided that she would marry an
other. She estimated the value OF my
time at 500. the worth of my letters at
$500, and my broken heart at 500, and
drew me a check for S,0O0, and here it is
Gave her a receipt IN full to date kissed
her good-by. and there you are and here
am. There's but one way to do bust
ness, and the West knows all about II.
Yes, check for thousand, and how
many OF you gentlemen will smoke a
Henry Clay at my EXPENSE"
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

, Is the expression Of the mouth the same
as it Was?"
It's a heap worse, Can't you slip
down and open the front door,
Mrs. Bowser said she'd try it. but she
didn't The dog decided to take a view
Of the second story and made a start.
She heard him coming and had just time
to reach her bedroom and shut the door
when he banged against il. He tore
around for minute or two and then got
down stairs and drove Mr.. BOwser onto
the lounge and stood before him and
growled and ChuCkled and gurgled in a
way TO freeze the blood. II was evident
that the soul of Will Baker had shut his
eyes and felt his helplesSness when the
family cat came TO his rescue She had
been licked in the fight. but she had
been taken bv surprise and hadn't a fair
show. Burning to recover her lost laurelS
after hiding for fifteen minutes under the
bed she had sneaked downstairs, and all
of a sudden she landed on the dog back.
The soul of Mr.. Bowser's old chum was
both panied and surprised at the sharp
ness of her teeth and the length of her
claws. He made two turns around the
sitting-rOOm, three around the parlOT, and
then there was a smash. a crash, and a
howl. With the cat Clinging to his back
and putting in ten hours "A day. the dog
had taken n header through parlOr win
down and the BOwsers were saved.
And this" said Mrs BOwser, as she
got downstairs and found Mr.. BOwseT
palefaccd and trembling and his knees
bending under him-"this is transmigra-
tion. is it?''
Il thought thought he stammered
but she SpOintcd to the broken window
and interrupted:
Yes. ! know and that's result of it,
You'd better let souls and dogs and trans
migration alone and find some boards to
nail over 1t till tomorrow
Mr.. BOwser tried to work up 4 bluff
and save his dignity. but il was a vain
effort. There was q feeling as if a cold
III. Il
spine, and the wobble of his knees took
his breath away.
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
HE HAD CHANGED.

The street car had struck fat man
WHO was crossing the street and knocked
him into a heap. and he had scrambled
up to shake his fist and shout at the mo-
fIorman 1t was a funny scene. and every
passenger but one so considered 1t. When
the car had passed on, the single ex-
ceptiOn was asked:
Did you witness that laughable oc-
currence back there
ct saw a fat man hit by the car. but
/ didn't see anything laughable about
it." he replied.
But wasn't it funny the way he got
up and pitched into the mOtorman?
Not bit funny.
It was realized that he was a man who
couldn't see a joke. and no more ques-
tiOns were asked. He sat in solemn ST.
lence for three or four minutes and then
said:
ways like this. for such is not the case:
There was a time when l went around
looking for funny things and when l
ran across one l could enjoy II with the
next"
But you have changed?" was sug-
gcsted.
1 had an old uncle who was the most
solemn old fellow you ever saw. i ii bet
that / spent one year In ten trying TO
make him crack a smile. but never sue
and he would sit and hear II with the face
OF an owl on him. Finally he died. /
was the only heir. and I had reasons to
look forward to good thing.
And you got it?'
II haven't heard that did. He wiIled
me half a million dollars in bonds, and
the rest Of his property went to charity, "
But half a million was pretty good. ="
WAS II? Yes. ] thought so until over
hauled the bonds. They were bonds OF
an old silver mine and worth cents
a pound. The old man had finally come
to gee the humorous side Of things"
And you?"
and have been out ever since. Our car
strikes a fat man He gets up and
shakes his fist and jumps up and down.
The rest of you are amused. / am<not
1t wasn't funny. II was ridiculous 1t
was nothing whatever TO bring smile.
and now you and the others go to Texas
and leave me TO think OF death and last
words and tombstones and enjoy myself
Fin my own wayP
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
A DETECTIVES REMINISCENCE

BY the merest accident ! further learned
that Mr.. Dawson was home only three
nights per week. and am honest enough
to confess that did not connect the cir
Hadan or Saunders. The reason / didn't I
was because l had not yet suspected
Hadan of anything, and because 1 had
no case against the other two.
AS to Hadan: Living in the same house
with me he cultivated my acquaintance.
He told me of his business, invited me to
lunch with him and was as frank and
open as any man l ever saw.
On half a dozen occasions he invited me
to drop into his workrOoms in case l
found myself near them, and admit
/ took quite a liking to him. His wife
was more reserved and less to be seen,
but yet the four OF US went to the theater
occasionally in company, and she was
agreeable IL not talkative. Hadan was
fair-sized man. who always shaved
smooth. His reddish hair was scant, one
of his front teeth broken. and he limped
a little, from an old accident. Any po-
liceman could have picked him out OF
crowd on DESCRIPTION. Saunders was a
larger man, with hair turning gray, per-
feet teeth and side whiskers. Dawson
was a smaller man than the other two,
with black hair. black mustache, and
prominent wart on his cheek. Hadan
had She voice of a woman; Saunders
spoke slowly and with a growl: Dawson
had what might be termed fair voice.
Now, then, for six years | knew these
tnTee men, ana TWO OF lieil were uHutI
espionage. I talked with them. ate with
them, drank with them and never i'm
bibed the faintest idea that | was the
biggest fool in the world. One day a
man who was in a machine shop not far
from detective headquarters was killed
by accident I happened to be almost the
first one on hand. I recognized him at
once as the tailor, and the body was
taken home. While doing his work the
undertaken found that the black hair and
mustache and wart were all false. This
was a revelation even to the wife. The
affair was published in the paperS. an
in less than two DAYS II was found that
Hadan, Saunders and Dawson were one
and the same man.. He had padded his
body to increase his size and apparent
weight. and false tooth. whiskers, mus
tache and a wart had done the rest. You
will say ought to have detected the
chast by the voice. In an ordinary case
yes, but this man had made study of
Disgusting his voice and was doubtless a
natural mimic to begin with. I never
caught a tone to make me suspect.
You will say that a good detective
ought to penetrate such shallow DISCUSSES
as false whiskers In answer to that let
be made to look so genuine that no liv-
was a new dodge and one was not up
the man prick Il with pin and cringe
bad enough at being fooled even had
there been no case In II, but there was a
case. The silversmith was sfence' for
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

thieves. the bric-a-brac man was an
other and the tailor was a third. lie
was married 10 three different women
he lived in three different parts of the
city: he carried on three occupations; ne
represented three different men. All this
he did successfully for six or seven
years. and but for the fatal accident
might have gone on for years more. Dur
ing his career he had made a fortune
and never a person had suspected the ais
guises. 1t seems as il wife should
have detected them. but the three did
not or at least, SO claimed. lie dlVldeu
his time between them. passed as a re
spcctabIe member of society, and they
accepted his excuses for his absence
without question. In each case he told
his wives that he Travelled so many days
per week. and in each case he lett the
house and returned to II with hand bag
gage. Yes; I was made fool OF; put
fortunately, was the only one VINO knew
II. and l may give the fact away now
without my identity being suspected. II
would have added more glory to my rec.
ord 20 have caught up the-Sly rascal put
now and then the sharpest of our1Srofes-
sion are outwitted, and If made stupid
blunder IN the one case have onset II
a dozen times over in making success
of
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
THE BOY AND HIS RAT.

He was boy with a rat ina trap. The
street was clear as he stepped out into
the road, followed by a bobtail dog, but
before the trap could be opened and the
rodent shaken out a dozen boys were
crowdIng around him and yelling at the
top of their voices. For half a minute
the boy was a king bee. He had baited
the trap that had caught the rat, and
it was for him to show off. All Of a sud
den the crowd grew to thirty or forty.
and young man with eyeglasses on left
the sidewalk to approach the boy and
say:
IYou'n let that rat get away if YOU
d MT quit fooling. Here. let me dump
him out
You go on"
Gimme that trap"
I won't do it,
Dump him out and give us a circus"
shouted a score 0f the boys, and a team
ster got down from Ms vehicle to say:
That idiot don't know nuthin' bout
rats, Say, you. gimme that trap"
Its my rat" exclaimed the boy.
But l amt goin' to see him set away!
Ill take that trap and"
But he didn't The crowd had increased
to two hundred now, and among them
was doctor. who wanted to know what
was going on.
Rats" replied lawyer at his elbow.
Sir. Don't you try any monkey busi-
ness with me-" sternly said the doctor.
And don't you try to blum me-.
There might have been more words be-
apart and a policeman pushed his way
forward and demanded:
Now. then. what's all this about. Boy,
what have you got there
"A rat and he's mine!"
Make him dump it,'' shouted the
crowd. and the officer was reaching for
Then a whiriwind seemed to pick up the
crowd and whirl II round and round.
while everybody screamed and yelled.
The policeman was banged against a
uN h.. UrfN ola
was hustled under a wagon, and the bob
tailed dog, the boy. and the rat trap were
rolled over and over on the street until
they brought up against a sand pile. All
at once the crowd melted away like 4
frost. leaving only couple OF gamins
to pick up the buttons and buckles.
Say. Jimmie" yelled one what's be-
come OF de rat"
Got AWAY" replied the other. as he
caught sight OF a cent and jumped for II
and fell on his nose.
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

ing to give him something to cat and
then study him"
1t happened to be the cooks night off.
or there would have been a riot in the
kitchen. AS II was, Mr.. Bowser cleared
the pankry for the dog, and when there
was nothing more to eat he returned to
the sitting-room. Mrs. Bowser came down
just then to say:
II never heard of such a silly thing
in all my life. Why don't you turn him
OUT
Mr.. BOwser. There's familiar look
again? See him look at me, Why, wom-
an, that dog seems TO understand every
word | say
well. you can talk over old times with
him and I'll go upstairs" replied Mrs.
Bowser. III he suddenly runs mad and
bites you. don't blame any one but your
self
ITS queer-mighty queer" unused Mr..
Bowser. after a long study of the dog
face. THAT Is Will Bakers mouth to Il
dot. II he comes back to earth in the
form Of a dog. I'll not go back on him;
A dog can't talk. but il this is poor VIII
there ought to be some way of making
sure of it. Doggie--"
The dog didn't wait for him to finish.
He lifted his head and INDUCED in long
drawn howl which made things rattle.
For heavens sake. but what is going
on down therc?" shouted Mrs. BOwser.
him If fSs fSs 0H Of viii BaRSP GSns h6d 5G
turned to earth in this FORM when he"
There was another howl. 1t was louder
and longer than the other. and there was
something so uncannv about II that Mr..
Bowser found chills racing up and down
his back. He determined to turn the soul
of Will Baker into the street forthwith.
but he instantly discovered an obstruction
in his path. The soul Obiected-that is.
the dog stood firmly planted on his feet
before him and not only hOwled again.
hut finished up with a menaCinE growl
and a vigorous scratching of the carpet
with all four feet.
What is it now" shouted Mrs. Bow
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
G. HOPE JONES


ical moment? In those old colonial days
there was corn juice around by the bar
rel. and il was easier to get drunk than
to roll out of bed but Washington was
a man to Withstand temptation. On
twelve different occasions. AS ! figure it.
had h.. gone off on a tear, instead Of at
tending to business. this country would
not now he the United States. I never
hail him as the great and noble without
also blessing him for not filling up with
corn juice. The analogy is plain to the
dulI"St mind. Get drunk and fall over
yourself and roll around i'm tho CatniD,
and you'll die unknown and unwcpt. Let
whisky and beer alone, except when or
dcrod for cramps. and a nation will sor-
row at YOUR death and raise monuments
10 you for a thousand years after.
The name Of John Hancock must al
WAYS be associated with the Declaration
OF Independence His name was the first
to go down. His was the first neck to
be put into the halter. l give you this
picture. He is limpsy drunk and hang
ing to a lamp post in the city of Boston.
The convention waits for him TO sign
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

When 1 retired from detective work
after an experience of sixteen years, the
! public press and my friends were pleased
| to say that I had done excellent service.
| On the whole, this praise was deserved,
! but at the same time, in one case at least,
| had shown a stupidity worthy of the
! greenest patrolman on Iondon's police
! force. had been at Scotland Yard for
three years when l removed my family
to Queen street. 1t was to an apartment
house. and we took the second floor. On
the floor above was a married couple
named Hadan. The man, as / came to
understand, was manufacturing JeWeler
in a small way. The Hadans lived very
quietly and made no display. and the
wife kept very much to herself. Not as
a detective but as an occupant, learned
that the husband was home only two
nights per week-that is, he came home
remained overnight and to breakfast, and
was seen no more for five days. This had
been the program for a year before l
came to the house, and i was not bit
curious over it.
At about the time of my removal / was
set to watch in a general way certain
I dealer in bric-a-brac named Saunders.
His shop was good three miles from
Queen street. He dealt in all manner of
art goods secondhand. and II had been
pretty well established that he bought
goods without asking any questions. In
watching him I assumed another iden-
tity and became a customer. We came
to be on quite friendly terms, and fiat
tered myself that he had not the slightest
suspicion of the part l was playing. At
one time and another ] was the means Of
enabling a number of householders to re-
cover stolen goods Saunders had bought.
but the man always evaded the law. /
got to know that he lived in Jane street,
only few blocks away, where he had a
wife and one child. One of our men oc-
cupied a room in the same house. and in
a casual way he had learned that Saun-
l-ders was home only two nights per week.
He came and went as did my neighbor
Haden.
A year after I began watching the
bric-a-brac shop there were complaints
made about a certain merchant tailor
named Dawson. He was making suits to
order so cheap that other tailors declared
the goods must be stolen. AS n matter
of fact several bolts of cloth stolen from
a tailor in a town fifty miles away were
found in his shop, but he proved himself
clear OF the law by a narrow margin. I
became a customer to him. as I had to
Saunders. There were many times when
er, and from the very outset used my
He continued to make suits to order far
shop was searched again and again no
more suspicious goods were found. Dav-
ison was full of talk and seemed to be
without suspicion, but / got no informa
ton from him to help my case. / early
ascertained that he lived in Montgomery
place and had q wife and two children.
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

Think II over. man-t-h-i-n-k it over!'
replied the major as he took his arm
and helped him along. You are sur
-startled-dumfounded by the sud-
den proposition and the vision of mil
lions. You can't make up your mind-in
five-in a day. Take time-take a week
a month-a year. I'll save your place on
the ground floor. My fortune shall be
your fortune. As my gilded chariot rolls
along the street your gilded chariot shall
follow II. 1t will never be said of Mai
Crofoot, grand promoter, that he froze
out friend who trusted to his integrity.
Think it over and come again and close
up the deal and carry away your millions
in profits. And when you come again
III could only get dollar
and when you come again, my friend.
bring in any little bill you may have
against my name. 1t won't offend me. I
am always glad to receive them and put
them away and separate business from
friendship. You are going, and I am so
sorry, but you will think II over and re-
turn. Good morning to you-g-o-o-d
morning. and should 1 be out when you
come again, please wait for me. I'm
never out of the office over twenty-four
hours at a time. and don't like people to
20 away disappointed. Think it over
think it overland my little bill-don't for
get il"
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
THE GRAND PROMOTER
One Suit of Clothes, $2O-C-o-r-r-e-c-t'
-A-O-r-r.R-C-t

! honor OF being second on the list. re-
served it for you
The tailor took the extended pen and
svirled it in his fingers and looked at the
major appcalingly.
"Ah. you hesitate" exclaimed the
grand promoter in reprOachful tones.
There is a lack Of confidence IN me-iu
the man who is 10 revolutionize the world
and rake in 100000 as you load UP a
cart with dirt! Haven't J owed YOU S2U
for months and months past: Haven't
you presented bill after bill? Isn't the
bill you presented twenty minutes ago
lying in my breast pocket at this very
moment-deposited there out of sight.
that the bonds of friendship might not
be severed? What do you demand-what
more? Perhaps you think the returns
will not be large enough, In my haste
and enthusiasm | may have said that 7
would guarantee you half million. Did
] say so? Excuse me. and take a million
two milliOns-even three, 1t shall never
be said that | begrudged a trusted friend
and cOadjutor a few millions. Call It
three millions and let me see in You that
spirit of enthusiasm and confidence which
our long and pleasant connection has Civ
en- me the right to look for"
Couldn't you pay g on the bill?"
asked the tailor as he retreated toward
the door.
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

This court having been duly called to
order and tho heather Chinese chuCkcd
out Of the courtroom" said his honor, as
h" settled down TO business, we will pro-
coed to tho cases in hand. The Critter
known to us as WC"pin' Jim. who has n
lain over Oh Hill Creek. goes over to
Roarin' Hill the other day artcr flour
and meat. His shanty is left to take keer
Of itself, though he puts a sign on the
door of Not To Home Weepin' Jim has
bin gone about an hour, when along Gums
that critter known TO Us as Humble Bill
Hill wasn't Eoin' anywhere particular
that day, but was just gambOlin' around
in s'arCh of good thing. He nacherally
cum across Wrepin' Jim's shanty as he
GamhOls and. bein' as nobody was sittin'
in the door with a gun, he takes posses
sion.
''When Jim returns from Roarin' Hill,
he finds Bill OCcupyin' his domicile, and
thar's d sign over the door readin'. Very
Much To Home So he was He was
drnkin' the last of inns Ticker and
smOkin the last of his tcrbackCr. and he
had on Jim'S Sunday clothes. Now, all
YOU critters take notice that Weepin'
Jim had a rifle on his shoulder and gun
uu his hip. and he was posted as to the
,.uStOms of his kentry. 1t is all right 'nuff
fur him to come forward and see who
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

had jumped his claim. but when he sees
it was Humble Bill. what followed? 1t
gives this court SeaSiCkness to think OF
il. Humble Bill sOts thar as cool as ice
and tells Jim he had better move on. He
don't make no excuses fur bein thar, but
SAYS he's comfortable and means to stay
He hasn't any sort Of a gun with him.
hut is armed with cheek. Wecpin Jim
orders him to get. but he keeps on smok-
in Then he is COaXed, hut he keeps on
~nokin some more, but he only smiles
Then Jim offers him ten dollars to glide
and he breaks out with ha! ha. ha! ha.
lH the horn spoon. this court can't talk
about it without feelin' his hair curl,
when Weepin' Jim had threatened.
,uaNod. and hrihCd, does he jump back
and ul1Ink four or FIVE bullets into the
carcass Of Humble Bill and then comes
down here and ask a COrOner's jury to
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10

a memory. Say. now. but just is true as
YOU live, one OF the best friends l ever
my word. believe the soul of Will Baker
who died two years ago. has passed into
this dog"
Then it had hotter pass out again!
I'll open the door and you jump at him.
I'll do nothing of the kind That eN-
preston almost ClinChcs my belief in
The Washington herald., 1915-01-10
BOWSER'S DEAD FRIEND
He Comes Back to Earth in the Form of Dog

"Thc blame cur won't let me move:
l believe he's going mad. You'd better
open a front window and yell for the
police"
we don't want to arouse the whole
neighbOThOOd and have them laughing at
you. II that's the soul of your dearest
friend. he'll go out If you'll ask him to.