Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1915-05-21
NO MORE INSOMNIA
Jaxinan Had Got Rid of That
Kind of Trouble.
But, Even Then, Circumstances Were
Such That He Was Not Satisfied
DisconsoIate Bridegroom Had
a Tale of Woe.

After their six o'clock dinner Highly,
the host, and Jaxman, who was down
for the week end, went to the billiard
room. At eight Highly was yawning
behind his hand. By nine he was walk
ing in his sleep.
"Egad!" said Jaxman dryly, as he
put his cue in the rack, you became
domesticated in a hurry, didn't your"
Il don't know what is the matter
with me tonight" a~pologized Highly.
trying to suppress another yawn.
you have been kept up beyond your
usual bedtime" declared Jaxman.
When there's no company, I'll wager
you curl up on the hearth rug and go
to sleep as soon as you've had your
dinner"
Highly grinned ~sheepishly. Doing
behind his paper in a chair was not
very different from that.
. i can remember the period" unused
Jaxman, when you complained be-
daylight always broke up the
revels before you got sleepy"
THE sting of a hilarious night" re-
fiected Highly, lies in the tail end of
it. You can get by with lots of things
in the dark. But when daylight comes,
you can no longer fool yourself about
how rotten you feel"
Hear, heart" jeered Jaxman. And
you've been married just three months.
If l thought hat matrimony would
have such a soporifc effect on me. I'd
shut my eyes, hold my nose and take
a dose of it. Nothing else seems to
help this confounded insomnia of
mine"
Marriage is the best little sleeping
powder on the market" chuckled Hig.
by, "and it's easy and pleasant to take.
fou must remember, however, that il
doesn't come with a money-back-if-it
fails-to-cure guaranty"
Just then pretty Mrs. Highly came
in, and the utter peace and content
ment visible in the sleepy eyes of hel
husband irritated Jaxman so that he
went to his Dol presently. At two
o'clock Jaxman sat up in bed with {
smothered exclamation that SHOULD
never be used in a Sunday paper.
There are S,767, SAC, 1856 sheep in thu
world" he bitterly announced. CIV,
counted them jumping over a fence
I've listened to water dripping unit
the earth must be inundated. I've lail
on my stomach, stood on my head an
hung by my toes from the footboarl
and still I can't sleep" A heavy bas
snore f1oated over the transom.
And there's old Hig sleeping like
like a married man. Egad!" muttere'
Jaxman, 81 wonder If there is anythin
in that? There must be. Ashley
Beckwith, Potter and the rest all BIZ
gan to act that way as soon as the
got into double harness. By Jove
I'll try it. I'd better be a married ma
than a dead one"
Jaxman soon discovered that fallin
in love was easier than falling off tn
water wagon. Whenever he seemed t
have stopped tumbling, Betty led hir
to an elevated spot and gave him
look that made him d~izzy-headed.
that failed, she kicked his feet frol
under him. She had long been sorr
for the poor, lonely bachelor and wa
glad of the chance to help him.
Where shall we spend our hone
moon, lover" asked Jaxman, when a
else had been decided.
Palm Beach," replied Betty promp
ly.
81 want you all to myself, too
all to myself"
"Oh, not there, DEAR" he proteste
81 was thinking of a bungalow in SON
quiet place, where I could have ye
cooed Betty, stopping his mouth vii
!, her soft cheek. But wouldn't it be
, pity to let all my handsome cloth
mildew in a bungalow in some Qui
placer"
Two months after the wedding ia
man, wearing q hunted expression al
j considerably less than his norm
+ a~voirdupois, arrived at Higby's. "Hi'
d me, Highly" he begged. "If anyol
calls me on the phone. say that I a
not here"
= Didn't the matrimonial insomn
cure work." asked Highly, shocked
t his friends worn appearance.
within two weeks l would fl