The Washington times., 1915-11-20

Once upon time in u Beautiful Burg
OF Ninety Thousand there were Forty
Eight Varieties If the Joy of Living and
a Traction COMPANY; Tho Traction
Company had II Tilid"athdOuspHrt Oh
the Epigloltis of ne Community, ana
It looked as though the =. G. had an
Aye Lease on the product Of the Golden
Dividend-laNing Goose.
Conditions had a decidedly Chrome
inclination.
The Populacc had to ride in Rolling
Stock which couldn't Roll because its
Wheels were Partial to Skccing. In
the Winter time the Zero Zcphyrs
played Tag with the Inmates of these
lili Boxes and In summer Old Sol and
the Humid i<id had Carte Blanche.
Every Time. one Of them Crossed an
lnterseCting Trail the III c. P.'s Over
head played Hide and Seek, and Gus
toners got Free Application of Os-
teopathy.
Hut since the Embossed Stock Of tho
company was doing "A Whirling DcrNish
up among the members of the Lunar
system. and was paying ll'ls per cent
Dividends tho Board of Directors played
Inertia all the way across the Slate.
They felt that there was Nothing they
could DO so they did II Freely. and tn"
Populace continued to Enjoy large Gobs
of Dissatisfaction.
The First Jitnnv-Bus line lasted Three
months before the Traction Company
got Mad. Then the Jitncy WAS De-
throned in some Mystcrious Fashion.
ana " lost tnc lbpuldtc Wo bltS VI
Luxuriatc In "a -Four Hundred Dollar
Limousine ON the trip from Hither to
Thither.
The BUS Line Languishcd and the
lie was Poor but Honest Chaur-
four. He had the RcdccminG Feature
However. OF Sense of liumor.
One Day. therefore, when he was
Brcczing by IA pm BOX Gloomed with
II Palpitating and PcrspirinG flock Of
the PopulaCc. he mad an lea. II WAS n
Great Notion. and II was Cachin-
national Cinch.
In the First Place II was SO Simple
that FinanCiers Couldn't see II through
Lick. In the Second. II was Obvious
that he was Poor but Honest. so they
were suspicious.
Just after the Last Sentence. however.
n Lucky Rube from New York fell into
his Tender Talons, and the next day
the Chauffeur and the l.. X. Incorpor-
ated the L. $. Auto Renting Company
with Three Hundred Thousand Capital
and Stock in the Treasury.
They Bought 30 Cars, Vintage of 1915,
Guaranteed TO Run " Miles tn the
| Gallon. and Found a Service Stable
| Then they shot an Earful into the Three
Local Dailies.
ANNOU NCEM ENT'
The l. s. Auto Renting Company
M ME Tfn you We car Furnsh rs hlvE everytSns TnHns
but the Driver YOU Drive 1t. Rent
Il car from us and keep it as long
you like. Enjoy motoring minus
| Upkeop and Worry.
Let Us Plan Your Trip
They got Husky Ha-IIa from the
| Traction Company. a shipment OF Four
| teen Tank PullmHns OF Gas and Three
Ditto Later of oil from Texas. Twenty
| Three Columns Of News In the Local
| Dailics. and a Hundred Thousand Tel"-
phone Calls from the Populace during
| the first week.
" was Tough.
1t got So bad tnat they had to Buy
Two Hundred Additional Cars to Meet
the Demand.
The Traction Company Sat Up and
| Took Notice 1t got Serious in Gcner-
GUS Quantities because IN Month r
| Chicago Pork Rex bought a Stack OF
| l.. S. A. r Stock for Half a Million
! and Seven Hundred and FIFTY
| new Boats brought the Total up to a
| Thousand in the Fleet.
| Tho Tnsympath"tiC Seats In the Old
Pill Boxes got into the Lonesome Pin.
class and the Shot heard Round tho
| World wasn't n Snare on an Eardrun
| compared to the Crash in the Traction
Stock. II Floppcd so hard for Finish