Omaha daily bee., 1915-02-14
GRTDTRON CLUB HAS
FUN WITH GUESTS
Continued from Pase oneO

verses which made up the evenings en-
tertainment
As usual. the opening chorus was SUNG
in darkness Then. as President Snyder
uttered a few cordial words Of welcome.
the electric gridiron was flashed and the
fun commenced. As soon as the oysters
were served President snyder was in
vested with the jeweled grldiron which
is the insignia OF the presidents office.
His inauguration was made the occasion
OF all the members Of the club gathering
in the space between the tables-the
space which The Gridiron men call the
weil--and there they stood while MT,
Snyder was neatly roasted into offiee.
The fact that Mr.. Snyder has more than
once impersonated Vice President Mar
shall in club stunts was duly empha-
sized. There was some question as To
MIR. Snyders eligibility until he solemnly
swore that he would rather associate with
the Gridiron men than with the senate
After that c. c. Brainerd OF the Brooklyn
Eagle: Arthur j.. Sinnott of the Newark
Evening News, and Harry J. Brt - OF
the Portland Oregonlan, were initiated
into membership with appropriate cere-
monies.
Twenty minutes Of good fun were pro-
vided when half dozen presidential
candidates were put on trial. The Judge
sat on a high bench, wearing wig and
gown. and the representative of the
common people was noticeable for an
abundance Of whiskers. The first three
defendants were Charles s. Whitman,
( Myron T. Herriek and William f. Borah,
/
plains and says that the republican party
has not had an idea for thirty years. y
Each of the accused said that his occu-
patton was presidential candidate.
Whitman's examination then proceeded
What. IL any, idea have you had in
the last thirty years?"
II want to be president
THAT isn't your own idea. That's thC
idea of william jennings Bryan"
! We'll. I've got another idea"
What is itT Be short. but brief
'1he governorship of New York is th'
stepping stone to the presidency" >.
used over, thirty years ago by Grovei
Cleveland
Herrick, when cross-examined. asserted
that his idea was that distinguished dip
lomatic service is the road to politica
preferment He was told that this 'idei
had been exploded by Ambassador Ger
ard When he claimed that II would b
a new idea to have millionaire In tn
White House. the reply was made tina
Roosevelt had plenty OF millionaires Il
the White House, Then this dialogu
followed:.
Herrick-Tm an ideal candidate.
Common People-Aren't' you from Ohio
.Herrick-Yes, but that's no handicaT
Common People-Didn't william II
Taft hail from Ohio?
Herrick-No, he only sprinkled. ..
After Senator Borah had tried to Civ
his idea of an idea in a sentence as lon
ar the moral law, the Judge decided this
as an idea was an intangible thing, tn
corpus deficit could mot be produced !
court. and the defendants were therS
fore discharged
Clark and McAdoO Answer.
Democratic presidential candidates
the persons of Champ Clark, Secretar
McAdoo and Secretary Bryan were the
brought into court. When asked to civ
definition of hard times. Mr. ClaI
promptly responded. The Baltimore col
, vention." Mr.. McAdoo was closely que
) toned as to the deficit in the treasury.
1 I'm the first place. was McAdoo's r
ply. there is no deficit; secondly,
: there Is one. the last administration
: to blame; and. thirdly and lastly, r
! gard your question as insulting 1 appe
for protection =.
. All" said Common People, you wa
! protection. Wouldn't a little protects
5 cure your deficit?' aga
! The witness was spared the necessity
replying by being hustled off to his sea
I: and then Mr.. Bryan was brought befo
! the bar. He was asked where he was
or about the 4th of March, 1897.
AT Lincoln. Neb.," was the reply
Now tell the court where you were
: the 9Th OF March. 1901"
AT Lincoln, Neb."
How was the weather at that time
Twas bitter cold"
4 $50 Did L." Says Bryan.
q Then the examination proceeded tn
y wise:
a Common People-Now, Mr. Bryan,
. your mind travel little further alor
!, Where were you on March T. 1903?
= Bryan (savagely)-At Lincoln, Neb
a Common People-That appears to
q your permanent home.
- Bryan-1t was.
n Common People-And what was
l. weather on that day?
10 Bryan-Continued cold
e Common People-Milis all running?
10 Bryan-So far as know.
70 Common PeopIe-Countrys prospero
everybody happy?
W Bryan-Everybody except myself. 81
r pose.
le Common People-Lets get down to m,
At recent history. Where were you
ly March 4, 1913?
Is Bryant was in the White House.
Common People-The White House,