The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1915-12-24

around in his hind pocket is sure to
have good luck"
Dir. Bowser silently folded the manu-.
script and returned it to his pocket and
looked ut Mrs. Bowser and asked:
Can you deny that the gentleman
gave me bright idea and that have
not worked it up to the best advan.
tageT"
MIR. Bowser." said she In reply, you
might have both hind pockets and all
other pockets i'll your clothing stuffed
full of rabbits feet and they would not
be sufficient TO get that article accept.
ed even by a family almanacw
BY George, woman. what are you
saying!" he exclaimed.
Keep cool, Sir-keep cool! Don't 20
to shouting or gesturing or getting un-
duly excited. If the editor of the Nat
uralist should ever receive such con.
tributiOn and he had supply Of pens
and ink handy and had a little time to
write, he would answer:
1T Is estimated that the rabbits of
the United States pull down and de.
YOUR at least 1000 persons year.
No rabbit was ever yet known to
eat mince pies. They prefer custard
pies.
The hind legs of rabbit are the
longest, as you ought to have known
They were made thus that he could
climb tree wrong end to and be all
ready to come down again with
promptncss and dispatch if alarmed.
You arc mistaken about the number
Of offspring at birth. 1t is 80 in
stead of thirty-two. This is that the
rabbit may in time crush out all the
beef trusts.
No rabbit was ever satisfied with
running fifty miles an hour. He start
Ell right off the mark at Il pace of 12J
III there were two dogs after him he
went SO fast that the human eve could
not detect him.
All the rabbits in Ohio and Michi
gan swim across Lake Erie twice q
day for the fun Of the thing
No rabbit with any self respect
would get drunk on sweet cider. You
must set out old rye or dry champagne.
Your rabbit pies of the restaurants
and hotels not only contain mutton, but
beef hash, ham hash, veal hash or
other kinds Of hash. The rabbit needn't
feel insulted at the name.
Nature did not give the rabbit tail
because he was the last animal made
and there were no tails to spare.
A rabbit was given large ears not
for ornament, but that he might hear
all the gossip going on in the woods.
You may have observed many women
with ears almost as large.
AS to rabbits feet bringing good
luck. more than 10000 mon arasdrown.
ed every year with their pocket$ $stuffed
with the tokens. Better carry shround'
with you the tip of a donkey'sHail'
That's what he would thinRpf your
bright idea, Mr.. Bowser." sa3a Mrs.
BOwser as she finished.
Mr.. Bowser sat with his mouth half
open and the glare Of ferocious pan.
ther In his eyes, but he answered never
word.
You had better have written of the
rhinoceros in Africa, for you know as
much about him as you do of the rab-
bits Of the United States"
There was a decided twitch to Mr..
Bowser's ear like horse that is try
ing to make out a sound.
I'VE have three different works on
natural history IN the house, and vet
you have never opened one Of them.
You broadly state that his fore legs are
the longest Our butcher has half q
dozen hanging outside of his door ev-
cry day. One glance Of your eyes
would have told you that you were
wrong. All the other statements in
your article are equally as absurd. In
fact, Mr.. Bowser'-
"Yes, my lady, in factr repeated Mr..
Bowser, as he rose up and started for
the hall tree.
Are you going outP was asked.
There was no answer. Mr.. Bowser
got into his overcoat and hat and
banged the front door after him. He
was not going to hunt the ferocious
rabbit nor let the rabbit hunt him, but
he wanted to walk and think over that
bright idea which the gentleman had
so kindly given him and which Mrs.
Bowser had jumped on with both feet
AS he walked he brought up at the
drug store on the corner. He didn't
enter the store, but stood outside
bumped over as became a forlorn hus-
band. The druggist saw him through
the window and came to the door and
asked:
'Bowser, is there anything wrong?"
Nav" was the gruff reply.
Il thought there was. old man, from
your looking so used up. think l am
right. think you and Mrs Bowser
have had discussion, and you have
come out of it with the loss Of one leg.
as usual. Go home, Bowser-go home
and be glad that you have got such a
smart wife"
Wrong Suit.
But" she objected. you're a Jack