davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
R"pii..t IN Reptile.

L RON Marvin Fauzdik OF Kalamazoo.
1 Mich. The Times Dispatch has received
a communication suggesting certain changes
in tn" political nomenclature of this country
Mr.. Fhuzdik thinks, III the first place that
we should have twcnty-four appointed Sena-
tors, whom he would call Fedicums--;lthuugh
what he apprehenGS these persons would do
10 him, to deserve such an appellntion is not
made clear
This, however. is jus, a starter. 'rhe
United States Is 100 cumbersome. according
TO Mr.. E.auzAtk, so he would change the couu-
trys name to- kebur and let the people he
called Nehins. So far as the language of
kchur is concerned he would let that struggle
aione kebsh
Representative" is another word that
makes Mr. Fauzdik ILL., aud for i, he would
substitute Reptur. When the joys OF woman
suffrage and its corollaries are scattered over
the land. We suppose lady Rcptur would
ne called Reptist or, perhaps. a Reptile
But why anticipate?
There is one chauffeur in Washington who
KNOWS where 10 50 when his boss gets in the
car, without waiting TO be told
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
\ I.nNmnn's Sermon.
sure

In mos; cases the man who doesn't know
how to do thing is the who tells you
how you ought to do il. And it occurs
to him that there conditions in your life
that would prevent YOU from doing what YOU
would like to do. y man who doing his
best ON the work. assigned to him harshly
criticized because lie was not doing his work
quite in his usual way. There reason.
His dead child lay in nearby room 1t is
not necessary for the man who criticize4 to
know just what your troubles are. But n mix
ture OF humanity and discretion will always
help in tightening the burden. - til" critical
should BE- slow 10 anger.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

great deal less money than can an auto
truck They toll mu that the life OF n
box car s. twenty years. and that Il
costs sl,ioo against from $4,000 10
5000 for a good auto truck. and yet
the box car mas three or four times
tho capacity OF the truck. while an
auto truck IL junk in three or four
years, Also YOU win fnd that the
rcakagc In shipment IS much greater
with tho truck than with the railroad.
The railroads have the advantage OF
atty years OF evolved system in hand
lin" goods, and this tells in tho final
annlNs!s ."-Mall Street Journal
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Guide Laughs.

When Newcomer the guide OF CAM, oil
Square waving his hat at the steps OF the Henry
clay pnsoda he inquired the cause Of his
hilarity. quite unusual with guide.
Il kin ketcha like "A Teller ON the ,iimin'
keichcs a ball know when git u jolt an #
JUS ptchi At the right angle I kin injoy IT,
Ths ina ~nin' when the weekly wash come home
an wife handed me my part il | sed wish,
the wash lady would put starch in nv
shirt fronts. Wife Scd she wsht | would pur
more OK ii III my backbone. Thets what 1 call
high ball. Wfes puriy quick on n ding
sometimes I'm real proud Of her brainworks -
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
The Dnminic'S Mistake

a y excellent person, a minister OF the
Gospel i'll Toronto unInlen,ionaIly. no
DOUBT, has forgotten the tendcrest grace in
the trinity Of New Testament eraces Charity
has slipped away from him
inc women OF his parish made a collection
OF Such little comforts as women know now
10 provide for soldiers The articles were
10 DC sent 10 Canadian contingent now in
'he european war One OF the gifts was
cigarettes The Toronto rector ordered that
me! be removed from the packages
we are not advised as 10 the domini..s
opJection If his reason were known. il
would perhaps not rebound 10 Ills credit as
man or as minister The COMMANDING
ofhcers OF the Canadians al the from, should
be the ones 10 decide whether cigarette smnl
ing IS injurious. If any commanding officer
in any army has ever refused To le, his mon
smoke that tact has not been corded
The Toronto rector oneh. 10 give moro .,
teh'loi! 10 inc reading OF his Bible and less
10 prylhs INTO the packages prepared by hs
parisnioncrs for men who are fighting for
their country.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Substitutes for Waited .Joy.

MYTH 1916 looming up ominousIy ON ,be
W horizoh' those unrcconciled TO the win
OF inc majority may lac expected 10 take in
'eres' III me question OF substitutes for the
customary and familiar LIQUID lows which 70
about to be withdrawn from us nv the wort
inss Of the law. The Washington Post has
recently given to the world valuable informa-
tion concerning one OF these improyised
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
" ant n Job

II there is an able bodied young man In Rich
nond who yearns for active employment--on.
who is looking for situation that will brea
the mono,ony OF his daily life--we direct hi.
attention 70 the following advertisement from
the Chicago Daily News:
WANTED. strong young man. between
1926. not over feht inches.
wrestle bear: experienced man preferred
or one familiar with rough wrestling
and waltzing: must he sober. reliable
and furnish references good. steady posi-
ton and chance To travel. ---- Wash
iugton l,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Good Cause to Help

. edmond. discriminating as we'll as gen
1 = erous. will not delay its response TO the
appeal of the Female Humane Associate for
II $4,000 endowmen, with which to carry on
the work the association has been doing for
more than a hundred years. The need is
great and urgent. and the good that can be
accomplished within the knowledge OF al
most all
True. the association has not advertised
itself or its benevolence. but the girls who
have been its wards and who have gone forth
to lives Of usefulness and happiness have
been its unconscious protagonists. They
have told the story that Richmond has heard
There are a hundred or thousand men in
Richmond who could make up this endow-
mcnt and never miss their contributions
There are many thousands of less ample
means who will want to help. There should
be trouble whatever
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Germany Beating Herself

n ERMANG has been declared bea en- thirty
~ thousand times by those to whom the
wish is father 10 the thought. Notwithstaud-
ing. she has resolutely and most inconsider-
atcly continued to win victories OF a maeni-
tude seldom seen before. Yct ii prophets
only continue prophesying long enough they
VIII eventually manage to hit the truth and
the prophets OF the allies are now clearly
right. The persistent rumorS OF peace pro-
posals. coupled with the evident restitution
OF the German lahorng classes and deplct ion
vi the army, show that Germany is wearing
out, and that the crisis OF the war has passeJ
AS this fact becomes evident the Off,
drawn parallel between the Confcderacv and
Germany is striking The Confederate army
was worn out i'll its triumphant career and
the GERMAN, army is being exhausted in vic
tory II is not for nothing that the German
soldier wears the gray that color seems tho
symbol OF heroic failure After the losses OF
men at Gettysburg and Ncksburg had turned
the tide i'll the Civil War. the Confcdera cs
nevertheless, won the Wilderness and Cold
HarDor and the evermemorable victory OF
Chlckamauga. IN the same way Hindenburc
and Mackensen may he destined to higher
Achievements than they have already accom-
plishcd hut what they can do will not likely
AFFECT the result. Germany is beaten
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Revenge Is Sweet.

lie ,afer the uuarrel)--I suppose YOU are
going back to Your mothers.
She ttriumphantly)-I shall do such thing.
ON the contrary, | going to the most ex-
pensvc hotel can find and let them send YOU
the hill
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

The latest report" says the Norfolk Vir.
Einian- pilot. is that Germany is Offering Fin
land to sweden NJ an inducement join her
and her allies. The next thing hear ahe may
be Initiating willingness to give the United
States Canada in return for even so much rs
passive assistance But the United States lo.s
Canada.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Queries and Answers
Fraternnl Orders.

Which is the stronger in number. aud
financially the Woodmen OF the World or tho
Modern Woodmcn OF America"
DAILY READER
III" lists give the number OF Woolmcn nr
the World as 69o,441. and the number OF rncm
hcrs of the other order li.li5. We arc not
willing to max" any statement about the nnan-
cial strength of either.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
lnpleasnnt. Now.

The saddest words of tongue or pen
The Kaiser thinks of now and then.
They're those lie used. war TO decide
When lie said. sweetly. LET 'er slide"
He'd give q cask of lager beer
" these words just would disapDsar
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
State 0mCinIe.

, Is there any publication which gives the
names and addresses. etc, Of the officials OF
the State Of Virginia? BROWN EppES
The report of the Secretary Of the Common
wealth. for which YOU may address Secretary
OF Commonwealth Capitol Building. Richmond
Va.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

There appears to he SO blamed much hidden
money il Virginia" says the Lynchburg Adj
vance. that the state hasn't enough 10 pay
the rewards for finding il: the examiners of
records think" The examiners of records ana
some other people must have something TO tall,
about in dull time.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Au EveninE or n, Home.

= see ;hat gasoline is still going up said
papa as lie glanced over his morning paper,
which he had neglected to read at the office.
Then you will get home earlier. won't you?
II YOU haven't the gasoline YOU won't have to
travel so many miles, eh:s' asked the little
woman VII" was pouring His Majesty's second
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Time to
End the
Suspense

merce has suspended that part OF II requiring
the sailors to understand tho language or their
commanding officers 10y Interpreting IL in such
way to nullify il. He has also suspended
tho section fixing the date which 1t goes
Into effect to allow ships o sn instead
OF being held up in port until they could con
form to all the regulations OF the act. AS there
must he suspending of more provisions as the
weeks go on, il ought dawn on tho CON
seriousness OF Congress that the best way TO
end this suspense is To repeal tho act as a
whole and to pass reasonable and WorkabIe
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Evening Ledger
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Chats With Virginia Editors

And, Of course" says the Staunton News eff
the President were opposed to preparedness Mr.
Bryan could get just big audiences by taking
the other side" And the same fee per head
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

Dispa :chcs report that in corn oy,,ihit
nj the Panama Exposition Virginia won FIRST
prize for the best OF corn in IN. sno.y
No surprise. The public would be CAD to know
the kind OF corn and who grew it.--CIinch Valley
News. Virginia white corn and Virginia yellow
corn. grown by James Bcllwood on his ma 9nin :
cent farm In Chesterfield County, eight miles
from Richmond. Mr. Bellwood also won the very
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
highest award for the best general farm display
and had all of North America to compete with.

The too-observant editor OF the Norfolk
Ledger-Dtspatch observes: 'Thc cut OF the
coining-out gowns shows that the buds do not
fenr the frost"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

IL there We're no bumps knocks in If.
Is there were no bnckbiting hatred or strife
II the world was one round Of pleasure and
every thing resulted IN treasure: IL we had
just the right amount of sunshine and raip ond
everything lovely and sorrow or noin w..
wonder II the same old bunch OF Knockers
wouldn't be- found knocking in every town.
Crbanna Sentinel Not every town, but IN.
towns In which the bunch" allowed would
continue to be railrondcss.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
lust Bound To.

NO YOU suppose women will return TO the
strange aud wonderful fashions of the pas; -
40 you mean the freak onesn'
Yes
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
SkaESk Sn,s:

The man who has impedimcut ia his speech
has the longest story TO tell II lie no
impeachment. he has something just as bad
sometimes it's an onion on his breath.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
The Pcsstmist says,

Doubtless there is good in the worst of
Us, as the philosopher remarks. but it is con-
ccaled so we'll and deeply II docs not repay
tn" mining operations necessary to dig it
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
RlGHMOND IMES-DIsPATCH: TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16 1915

sources or eNhilaration intended 10 replace
the beverages of yore.
This is called 'Old Hen. and its senealogy
and life history merged i'll obscurity. cX-
cept that the one fact Of its nndoubted origin
in dry territory stands out. Old Hen con-
sistS OF cornmeal. brown sugar. cayenne
pepper and rain water. and the mixture be-
comes stun tina, dreams are made Of in
about three weeks Old Hen is said To yield
nothing TO more familiar brands in its sun
shine producing qualities. Indeed. the in
habtants of certain prohibition districts are
said To greatly prefer il to the products of
distillcres and breweries.
Old Hen is undoubtedly the pioneer III the
field OF homemade thirst quenchers Other
better aud even simpler inventions will follow
and replace Old Hen, The natives OF Africa
make most palatabe and stimulating bever.
ages Ivy leaving cocohut milk and palm juice
TO stand in the sun. Likewise. the bercft
natives OF these parts will find compensation
in the alchemy by which nature turns water
melon rnds. mashed berries. potato pcelings
-anyt hng-into that which makes man for
get the burdens Of the moment.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

Queen Sophia ought TO get the Grecian
bend instead OF doing the German goose step.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

well as long the fools will play FOOT.
ball. says the Halifax Record Advertiser
were glad Virginia takes the honors" Oh,
Richmond Thanksgiving sec q cood
game and get your crouch.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

The names of the new Greek Cabinet are
Rhals. Gounaris. 'rheotokis Ianakitsas.
Countouriotis, Oragoumis. Skoulouds and
Michclidkis. bell hop in the corridor of
an Athens hotel would have the lockjaw ii
he had to page more than one at a time.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

Br. Dumba says that President Wilson's
ability is confined TO writing beautiful Eng
!ish when would do credit 10 Macaulay'
Does Inc English written by the President
which caused DR.. Dumba to leave this couu-
try come under the head referred TO by the
Austrian gentleman who was handed his hat ?
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

You may not get us much sugar in vour
christmas candy this year formerly but
what i, lacks in sweetness will he made up
for in the price.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

when ex-Presidcnt Taft in recen, sneecb
advocated the spanking Of children. the sen,i-
ment was applauded. We take II tina, the
audience was composed of adults
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
Current Editorial Comment

The President has suspended
that part of the seanen's law
requiring owners of forcign-built
vessels to provide a certain num-
her OF lifehoats to insure safety
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

The committee Of prominent citizens OF
Toledo who are coming down to New York
to give Minister Whitlock a rousng welcome
ought to understand that he Is coming back
for rest.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

II Carranza is going to drive all OF the
sraftcrs out Of Mexico there will be more
hac,endas for sale or lease than that country
has ever had i'll all Of its history.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

IL Will be too late for General Huerta TO do
any lawn moving by the time he gets back to
his yard in Brooklyn. job Of saving wood
and keeping quiet about II will be ready
however if he will only go to il
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

Why DO the painters want a Paiut-Up Day /?
That is encroaching upon the preroeatives
OF the Order OF the Rouge
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

Inst year was not regarded as
Vl,e OYSTER q good one for oystermen The
l.. country, for unexplained
Business appetite There is reason to he :.
licve that the unproven charges
made against oysters grown in the Long Island
Sound region had something to do with the
sudden loss of popularity of oysters rs n festive
specially The oyster will come again as q
menu favoritc. The base SANDER ha& already
been offset by experimental tests showing that
the Chesapeake nollusks are healthy, whole
some and good What we need in the Maryland
region Is more oysters--enough to mako 1t
worth the while of shippers and Gamers to de-
velop world trade. There never a very
wide demand for canned tomatoes until farm
ers began to grow this vegetable as O standard
market orop.-Baltimore American.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

s. tuhitahed every day In the year by The
1Imes-DfSpntcli Publishing Company. the. Adj
dress nil Communications to THE TIMES-DIS-
PATCH. Ifnies-nspntch building. 10 South
Tenth street, Richmond. vn.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16
News OF Fifty Years Ago
uFrom Newspaper Files. November 10, 1866,

=. II. trump qualified yesterday before the
Hastings Court OF Magistrates as High Com
stable OF the City Of Richmond, ana assumed
the duties Of tho office.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1915-11-16

By Timcs-Dsnatch Carrier Delivery Service
In itichmond tnnd suhurbs> and Petersburg:
Daily with sunday ono week. IL cents
Daily without sunday week 10 cent,
SUNDAY only Observation-Disclosures. 2 cents
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
BLACK SAYS HAVE MORE
 CONFIDENCE IN OUR OWN MEN

We, the people of Arkansas are not as patriotic as we should be. We are putting more conf- dence in men from other states than we are our own.
 For years and years other states have been furnishing Arkansas our Governor, and today we should be ashamed of ourselves. Arkansas can fur nish their own men if we wilt put enough confidence in them. This IS the reason today Arkan- sas has such a bad name. We have men that are we'll qualified for the position, and l am sure Hon. T. c. McRae is the best man in the race for governor and he was born in Arkansas too. You cannot say that he is not we'll qualified enough for the position.
 E. E.. Black.
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
OUR DOMESTIC SCIENCE

Since our funds are so short the School Board has found it impossible to continue the Do- mestic Science Department at the High School. At the same time we all realize that it should not be dropped from the course. Misses Beulah Hesterly and Mary Jones have consented to take the department and charge a separate tuition for their ser vices to those who wish to take those courses. The tuition for each pupil who takes these courses will be one dollar per month provided there are as many as twenty-five. This is a sacrifice on the part of the teachers, since they bear the expense of the department. Credits will still he allowed for work done in the department as heretofore.
 c. N. Hirst, Prin.
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
D'i~l',-C lI0Cn
 0USlnlSo udaRofU

@a hago purchased ,he.a.e. k of ,iru1s ~Doaa as tat a,ainten Drug Store. And wlII conduct the business at the same stand under the name ot Buchanan Drug Store.
 We bought this stock at a greatly reduced price, and hope to give our customers the benefit of these low prices.
 We have also bought a quanti- ty of new and fresh drugs, and Drug Store sundries which are arriving daily.
 When in need of anything ca ried by a first class Drug Store, you will save money to call on us,
 Buchanan Drug Store. 9-16-2t. Phone 67.
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
COLLEGES TO OPEN
Hendrix and Central to Begin Terms Tomorrow, and Nor
 mai Monday.

Conway. Sept. 2.-The thirty second annual session of Hend- rix College will open Tuesday, Practically every room in the dormitories and Tabor Hall have been engaged, and many room ing houses near the campus report that they will be able to care for students other than those who already have reser- yations. Many students. princi. pally atheletes, already have arrived.
 Central College and Conserva- tory of Fine Arts also will open Tuesday, beginning its twenty first annual session.
 The eighth annual session of the Arkansas State Normal will open on Monday, September 20. Indications point to slightly increased enrolment this year, it is said. Prof. J. J. Doyne, the only president the school has ever had, will again be at the head.
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
ATTACK ARMY CAMP;
 1 KILLED; } WOUNDED

Thorough Search Reveals Two
 Wagonloads of Arms; Which
 Are Destroyed Army on the
 Rio Grande Near Actual War
 time Military Footing.
 Brownsville, Texas, Sept. l3. - The United States army in the lower Rio Grande valley tonight went upon a very near approach to actual wartime military foot ing. The cause was carefully prepared attack upon an army camp near the Rio Grande by Mexicans today, the first de- liberate blow at the American army here since the battle raids began, which cost the life of one American soldier. Camps to- night along the border were chosen with a view of reports that Mexicans might renew the attacks at any time and that today's attack might have been a flint to cover attempted plans for depredations in some other sections. Col. A. P. Blocksom at Fort Brown mrde a dash in an automobile to the scene of the fight today. calling out large patrols, and placed officers to search the vicinity. He also made vigorous demands on the Carranza authorities for the ar rest of two known bandit ring leaders on the Mexican side of the river
 A rural postman was shot and slightly wounded this evening near Edinburg, about 20 miles from the scene of the fight.
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
WANTED

Chickens. Eggs. Butter, Bees wax. Hides. Wool, Grain sacks. all kinds of Junk, & Bones. we pay CASH. at Highest market price.
 We sell feed. Wholesale, X Re- tail.
 Nevada Produce Go. West, Main. Street.
The Nevada County picayune., 1915-09-17
FARMERS PLEASE NOTICE

Notice is hereby given those interested in the organization of a strawberry club at Prescott that it has been found necessary to postpone the meeting called for Sept. 11th. It will be held, instead on Saturday, Sept. 18th at Z o'clock at the court house.
 l.. 4 Na'NAuuA,
 kXIpl.nunn Agent.