davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1915-01-28
TTae Modest Proposal of tE2e
Boston Chamber of
Commerce.
PAGE SEVEN
commerce.

nSnlng lines OF steamers Tor the ocean COM
merce, the vessels to be owned and operated by
the Government
Private capital is opposing the plan
Rational craftsmanship would criticise the
plan as one that ought to foUoaO Government
ownership Of railroads.
A natural continuation to every railroad
system which runs to deep water, is line OF
ocean going ships.
Bus to have the ships without the railroads,
is an unwise policy.
What Expresses the American people. is
not the water freights, but the land frei2hts.
The ocean is open to everybody, the compe-
tition is active, and in times Of peace the
freights are very low
But the American capitalists cannot con-
troll that commerce. as it controls the business
Of the railroads.
Hence, the capitalists are dissatisfied with
the situation. They have long sought a Ship
subsidy, and unless they get it, the heart Of
William Randolph Hearst will break.
President Wilson hasn't the progressiveness
to advocate the Government ownership Of
Railroads.
lie is willing to wink when bis friends J.
L. Morgan and William Rockefeller steal
S90,OOO,0O0 from the New Haven lines; and
he is willing to say eyes" when they ask to
be allowed to rob the people of S50,000O0O
more, every year, on freight rates
But he IS willing to favor the Government
ownership Of steamers aohich qciU help the
railroads.
There's where he meets the opposition Of
certain patriots who do not happen to own
railroads.
Some of these gentlemen belong to the Bos-
ton Chamber of Commerce. and their antag-
onlsm' to the Ship purchase bill takes the
somewhat 1iar form Of q +Lo+
the Government let them have the money!
Lest you suspect me of levity which [ as
sure you is foreign to my nature, [ copy that
part Of their virtuous Resolutions, as printed
In the New York Times Of Jan. 10, 1915:
Fourth-In place of an investment of $40, O0O,-
600 IN Government ownership and operation, as
proposed by the pending measure, Federal fund
OF the same amount to be administered by the
Shipping Board for the purpose Of guaranteeing
mortgages examined and approved by the Board,
or for careful loans upon shipping built pur-
chased for overseas trade and fitted for auxiliary
naval service.
Now, if ever you get hold of anything
cooler than that, you will have to 90 after it,
in Massachusetts, in the dead of Winter.
The patriotic Bostonians tell the Govern
ment that it must not buy forty million dol
lars worth of ships, but must lend the money
to private ship owners on careful loans"
Mind you, the $4O,000,000 must be loaned
to private patriots, but not in any reckless,
dissipated, dissolute, Newt Haven Railroad
way.
That money must be put at the disposal of
the Bostonians ct al. for careful loans"
So. you see, your Government has loaned
SO much of your money to the Big Rich dur
ing this Democratic Administration. and it
loaned SO much during the Republican con-
troll, that the Big Rich are spoiled
They have come to regard your public
finds
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1915-01-28
The Bishop, and The Punctua-
ton Mark.

n.y. oil IlFlll S-dllci mean TO Try 1U-lG
IS clear to my mind that [ will learn many
things that are quite new under the sun.
For instance, it has come to pass that
Methodist preacher got trouncing from his
amlable bishop, because the preacher did not
know how to punctuate his letter
How are you, on punctuation?
Ii you are not up to snuff, you'd better be
careful how you write to Bishops / find that
at least one amiabIe Bishop has no patience
whatever with a preacher who cannot cor
rectly punctuate
After perusing the tender episte in which
this amiable Bishop trounced the poor coun-
try parson who did not know how to punctu-
ate, [ scanned the Bishops own letter with
more care.
[ naturally wanted to see how much of an
expert he was with commas, semi-cOlOns, CO.
Ions, and such
Dog my cats, if I didn't find a dozen mis-
takes that the amiable Bishop made, on one
pageI
That these errors were not due to haste. or
inadvertence, is shown by the fact that the
amiable Bishop inserted, 2oith his pen, several
commas, and word, before signing his
name.
The Bishops final sentence in one Of his
letters reads
Il return your letter with some Of it's errors
marked that you may see for yourself how
imperfect is your education.
I am, yours truly"
Now. in that very letter, [ counted ten
errors III punctuation
Could anything be more childish and I'M
just than for college-bred Bishop to be
shaming a country parson because the latter
does not use his grammar, his capital letters,
and his punctuation marks properly?
What would become of the Bible if that
rule had been enforced?
AS originally written, it was not punctuated
at all, except at the close of sentences
How would George Washington and An
drew Jackson fare at the hands Of this anna
bic Bishop?
Gen. N. B. Forrest couldn't spell, and
neither could George Washington.
Napoleon never could learn to spell, nor to
add up, accurately long column Of figures
If Saint Peter had come before this amiable
Bishop, the poor fisherman of Judea would
have got knocked out on the first round.
Not one of the Twelve Disciples could read
or write.
And the heroic EngEishmen who re-
established our liberties in the Great Charter,
signed their names by making their marks.
They could not write
Somehow. [ had got the idea that preacher
ought to be a man who preached, because he
couldn't help 1t.
Voices within him cried for him to take up
the Cross, and the Message Voices within
him gave him no rest, until their spirit flew
from his lips on winged words. Voices within
fired his BRAIN chastened his heart. made him
hungry for the calling of fallen Man to a
higher estate. Voices within him left him no
peace, neither by night nor by day, until he
took up his burden, and walked with it.
In the midst of worldly men and things,
he would be unWOrldlY striving always to-
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1915-01-28
The Virgin Mary Finds Eleven
Lost Horses, and Does Many
Other Stunts For the Money.

Other Stunts For the Money.
4 [ Laclawanna, in the State of New York,
the Roman priests publish a magazine
called The Anna28.
It tells Of the great things which are done
by the wife Of Joseph, the jack-leg carpenter,
for those who pay cash to the Roman Catho-
lie priests.
The January number of this delightfully."-
idlotic periodical has just meandered down
to the semi-barbarians of Georgia.
One Of said semi-barbarians. in looking
over said idiotic magazine finds the follow,
ing letter written by civilized person, Of
North Dakota:
Dear Father: Enclosed find little Offering
Some time ago [ wrote you to kindly make a
novena for us, as we lost eleven horses. On the
third day of the novena we found six of them
and later on found them ALL We are very CRATE
full to God and Blessed Lady and wish to
have this published in her Annals
What sort of education does the Pope give
to Americans In order to make them believe
that money paid to drunken priests on EARTH
moves the Virgin Mary to hunt for stray
horses?
Here is what another lunatic writes to these
priestly cheats and swindlers:
Dear Fathers: I glad to tell you
am being cured Of the ulcers which
for fifteen years covered both my legs
suffered greatly and the doctors could not help
me at all. Before your last Solemn Novena
sent in my name together with a small remit
lance for placing light Our Ladys altar. On
the fifth day Of the Novena | commenced to get
better and am improving since. My sores
now are about all healed and have no pain
Please publish this that others in affection may
know how to obtain relief
solicitor writes: "A friend of mine under
went very serious operation which has proved
successful and she is doing nicely, which is con-
sidered unusual for such a critical case. [ placed
the Lady of. Victory medal on her before the
operation and thank God prayers were heard.
Please send more medals, for they are i'm great
demand
Here is where the Virgin stopped the flood
to keep the medal from getting wet:
During the late food which caused SO much
danger near here (Lacour, La.) my mother placed
@ medal Of Our Lady of Victory at the waters
edge and prayed that the water might not go
beyond it, and our prayers heard. Also my
niece has been cured OF eruption on her face
through addressing Our Lady of Victory"
This is where they soaked an alleged Pro
testant:
81 am sending $1,000 according to promise
| made Our Lady of Victory. Through her inter
cesson, |, Protestant confident that re-
ceived position for which I anxious With
thanks to Our dear Lady, 1 am sincerely"-S. B.
Inasmuch as the Pope's laws condemn Pro
testants to death, and the Pope compels his
cardinals, &C., to persecute Protestants to the
utmost, it seems strange that the Virgin
would sell out for ten dollars
BY the way, it's queer sort of Protestant
that believes in popish superstitions, pays
$1,000 to the bachelor bloats and writes about
"Oug dear Lady"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1915-01-28

Won't you send us one new subscriber9
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
WESLEYAN PINNED
FOR GAME TODAY
Great Crowd Will See the
Big Gridiron Battle at
Wheeling.

The Carlisle Indians and. the Yves.
leyan College football teams arrived
in Wheeling today for the great con.
test to be staged there before the
thousands who have bought their
tickets In advance.
The players under Harry STAINS.
bury,s wing are confident that this
conflict is going to the Methodists,
and they are in the game to make it
do So. AS the game at Morgantown,
hi which Bethany and West Virginia
lakesspartis hardly Of very great I'M
portance In determinin the state
championship and as Bethany has a
pretty well SCARED record, the one
being played at Wheeling .seems to be
exclusively in the limelight: The
Carlisle Indians after over 10 years
as a winning team are very anxious
10 get on their feet again and they
wish to use the Wesleyan game as a
stepping stone to prestige. This
game will be very interesting from all
standpoints., The Wesleyan team has
10 hold back most of its trick plays
for the West Virginia game. and by
Withholding these plays they are liza
BILE to have to extend themselves
more than otherwise. The breaks be-
ing equal, Wesleyan should walk
away with the game.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
Observation-Disclosures HlA
WHEELING; BUT luck FAILED THEM

WHEELING, Oct 30.-Preyented by
hard luck in not making a try.at.goal,
RidgelyS who starred otherwise, kicked
one wide OF the goal posts and by
losing the one point lost the game
against Linsly. The Normal school
football playing was the best seen
here In a long time and the game
that the proteges OF Ernest Bell put
UP was more than a surprise. The
figures before the game were that
Linsly would win by three touchf.
owns, but as to touchdown the teams
tied.
Normal's old weakness, that OF get.
ting started in the first period told on
the Fairmonters and the Linsly ca.
diets scored two %touchdowns In this
period. But after getting warmed up
the Normalites got busy and went
over the Linsly goal for two touch.
downs, both times the ball being cal.
ried over by Frame. One OF these
goals was the result Of Frames 20
yard run. Frame was easily the
brightest constellation in the firma:
ment for the AZ minutes Of football
that was staged.
The fnal score 4 to 10 on foreign
grounds and with a team that play
ed Davis and Elkins to a much more
creditable score than did Normal
shows that the Fairmonters are fight.
ers and that regardless of what the
score was the boys from Marion
county put up a splendid game.
The Normal team had the ball on
Linsiys five yard line Ave times but
failed to score on account OF FUN
-bIes or accidents. The. Fairmonters
had the better OF the contest in the
second period and in the second half,
but could not get the ball G the
Ene. After the first period the game
was all Fairmonts and they should
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
Barnes Will
Return Tonight

Prof. Waiter Barnes Of the English
department OF the Fairmont State Nor
NAL School will return tonight from
P%arkersburs, where he attended the
State Council OF Enslish teachers in
session there yesterday and today.
Prof. Barnes addressed the council last
evening on the subject aPossibilitise
OF the English Councilsn Prot. Barnes
is the president Of the council and
presided over hte sessions. An elah-
crate program was carried out and q
large number OF steachersl from various
towns ofsthe state were present.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30

have won, by at least two touch.
one OF the ,Linsly players found 1t.
Hitting the Linsly line the Fairmont.
ers made the cadets look oolish.
Coach Bell for some time has been at.
ter his men attaching them how to hit
the line they generally wen through;
what he taught them showed to ad.
vantage yesterday. When they hit
the line they generally went through
at n time the hole that Normal.
made was SO big that Joe Hartley
went through for a run Of 60 yards.
When Joe put the ball down he was
on the fiye.yard line and from there
Ridgeley ordered the ball to Frame
TO be carried over, and OF course,
whenever Frame gets the ball near
any goal he either goes over said goal
or he Is unconscious for some time.
The boys received good treatment
during the game and after the con.
test decided that as no player was in.
jured they all might as well stay to
e Wesleyan trim the Indians. They.
remained, all but Morris, who re.
turned to Fairmont last evening.
Tho ifnattn. 7fs
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
Weston High Plays
Local Team Today

Tho Weston High School football
team and the Fairmont High, com.
mencing at $50 this afternoon. will
try to play a winning game OF football
before what is expected to be n OF
heSlargest crowds Of the season.
heWeston tribe, although reported
not as good as the old time team that
Represented the Lewis County castle of
knowledge, Is on the average a bigger
and heavier bunch than the fast lit.
the players Of the Fairmont High.
The Fairmont team which started on
lii the early part Of the season with
one Of the best eeams in the Valley
Will hnyes out OF its lineup this after
noon,FHugh Meredith, Captain Ginkle,
Miller, thalf-back. and Goodnough, star
tackle. With these men missing 1t Is
hard to tell what is going to happen.
sGoodnough had been missed greatly
since he became bedridden. Captain
Ginlle who was the Edisono of the team
when IL came to %inventing plays dur.
riug a contest is still confined to his
/ home with broken leg. Meredith's
arms are useless and he will be out
Of the game for at least two more
weeks. Miller crafty %haif.back, al.
though able to be on the street, stu
has his arm in a sling and is nursing
a broken collar bone. With this i'm.
mense handicap staring the tFairmont
team In the face they will have to re.
sort TO trick plays of which they
have q large store. Also on the OF.
Tense they will have a hard time
breaking through Weston's heavier
line. But on the defense, It may be
truthflly said that every man on the
Fairmont team Is an indiyidual star at
tackling. And the line of defense Is
something more to get through than
a barbed wire entanglement. Hawkins
will likely play full-back and Russ
Meredith on the line, as Meredith is
still suffering from the injury received
several weeksIago.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
MANY INTERESTING
GRID GAMES TODAY
Harvard May Get Another
Wallop From the Penn
State Eleven.

This afternoon on the gridirons in
the east there is terrible slaughter
going On. The same may be said of
all the gridirons in the country but
of special interest are those battles
in the east In which Yale meets the
Colgate bunch which has not been
scored on this season, and Harvard
meets Penn State. There Is going
to be some pretty well decorated
news after these two games in which
the winner is almost impossible to
pick. Harvard's game at Cambridge
should go to the Harvard team on the
years showing, but the game last Sat.
urday which Cornell wont rom Harvard
shows that the eastern colleges have
Percy Haughton's number and will
make the rest Of the season hot for
him. The Princeto Williams game
is hardly more than practice for the
Princeton bunch, who, like the Wes-
leyan team at Buckhannon, have
something UP their sleeves which
they intend to pull in the games to
be played next month. University Of
Pittsburg's game with Allegheny Is
all over but the shouting for Pitt. The
Washington and Lee players have
gone to Indianapolis where they meet
the Indiana college team. Washing.
ton and Lee has the upper hand on
the dope In this game. Cornell gets
to trim Virginia Poly today, and Mich.
igan Agricultural eleven has a chance
to take Syracuse into camp.
After today's game, which is going
to be easy for the Tiger, and hard for
Harvard, these tow teams will start
practice in preparation for the big
game to be staged at Princeton in
which Percy Haughton's clique and
the Princeton eleven will start hair
raising and back breaking bucks, for
the supremacy Of the east. Cornell
has been figured for some time as be.
ing the team that was slated to hand
Harvard It's first defeat, but Cornell
beat the Tiger to 1t. This, however,
does not lessen the ardor at Prince.
ton, but does increase it. II the Har.
ward players had gone stale last Sat.
urday's game they cannot r%ecuperate
in time to hold back the P%rinceton's.
The game that Colgate puts up against
Yale should win for the former bunch
this afternoon, and what Penn State
does to Harvard will cause the bunch
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30

part of the city and was confronted
with the proposition OF finding some.
one to properly care for the alleys he
already had.
His sister came to the front. She
argued that a woman should be able
to manage alleys as well as a man.
She deserted music for bowling and
has done SO well her brother would
not think Of making a change.
Miss Bark also has become a
bowler and is enthusiastic about the
game.
The woman manager has organized
a league for teams composed Of wo.
men bowlers and is mapping out a fine,
winter sport for wives and others OF
her neighborhood.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
eY BROWN HOLMES.

Funny things would happen II all
states permitting boxing should take
up a scheme proposed by the New
York boxing commission to compel
fighters to use their real names. Sport
columns would be full Of, such names
as Anchol Anchoyitz, Andrew Giar.
igl.on, Jacob lsadore romlich and Joe
i6arra, and there would be fewer
Fiynns and o'Briens and other good
old Irish monikers.
Could Charley White, the Chicago
k%nocker.out. gotten as far as he has
II he had appeared under his real
name, which is Anchol Anchovitz.
Gould Jim Flynn ever have worked his
way TO a bout with Jack johnson with
his right name-Andrew C%hiariglion.
Some fighters adopt ring names be.
cause they fear they couldn't get by
with their right names. Others are
given names by referees who say the
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
Folwell Drives
Wash-Jeff Team

WASHINGTON, Pa, Oct. so.-coach
Folwell showed his dissatisfaction
with the practice OF the w & j team
this week by keeping the men to .
long drill on the eve Of the gsuae With
Muskingum, He did no. send his plny.
ers into a scrimmage. but he required
a little bit OF everything else ifom
the most fundamental and rudiment.
airy tactics to q dummy scrimmage anu
an hours signal drill. Captain We<
becher went through all the work with
the remainder(oftheiteam and appears
to have completely recovered from his
recent injury. He will not play today.
however. Boteener being scheduled to
MI his shoes.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30

az BROWN HoLMEs.

When Miss Loretta Hoag OF New
York became manager of "a fighter II
was conceded she Just about set a
record in the matter Of new occupa.
ton for women.
Now comes Miss Hazel Bark, OF
Cleveland, o.. into the field and she
seems to have Miss Hoag tied Miss
Bark is manager or bowling alleys,
Miss Bark had decided on a musical
career, studied long and hard and be.
came an accomplished pianist. Her
brother owned bowling alleys. He ar.
ranged to start new alleys in another
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30

WASHINGTON. D. c., Oct. 90
It's only a matter of time now, &C.
cording to Capt. w. H. G. Billiard,
chief Of the navy wireless service,
whom Secretary Daniels will be able
to take tho receiver on the hook of
his telephone and talk with the ad.
mlral commanding the fleet anywhere
on the ocean,. Capt. Billiard is in
charge Of the great wireless towers
at Arlington, Va, which flashed the
telephone messages as far west as
Hawaii and as far east as Paris. The
telephoning Yas' done under his direc.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
Gives $3.50 a Wordsto
Hold Grid Game Seat

Thlrty.six dollars and so cents is
the amount spent by Fred.R: Wilson,.
OF the Harvard class Of 10 to reserve
a seat for the Harvard.Yale game to
be played Nov. 20.
Wilson is in Tananariye, the capt
tai Of Madagascar. His cablegram
reserve a seat consisted OF FIVE words
to a friend: Leaving tomorrow;
get me Yale ticket" He paid $3.50
q word.
The ticket will cost him S. to $40
and the trip from Madagascar a whole
lot more.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
.C0[lEG|AnS LOSE
TO CLARKSBURG
Never Had a Possible Show,
the Final Score Be
ing 81

The West Virginia Basiness College
at clarksburs played with the Fair
mont collegians in q game Of foot ball,
Il YOU cailI62ltot0 playing. The Clarks.
burg team defeated the Fairrnonters In
q clean and fair game. Nothing was
said concerning the game ct ciarks-
burg other than that ciarksburg won
by playing better football. The cole
CLANS were unable to follow the bust.
ness college eleven IN the open field
game that the Harrison county lads
put up.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30

Don't Spend Money Fooilshly.
It is the easiest thing in the world
to spend money foolishly or carelessiy.
It takes strength and determination
to resist the temptation to do so, but
successfully resisting the temptation
brings two rewards-a %stiffening OF
your mental and moral backbone and
an increase in your material resources.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30
WALKING FROM CHI.
CAGOT TO PORTLAND,
ME-, FOR FUN OF 1T

Edwin quinn. Chicago cigar maker
and amateur walker; is hoofing it from
Chicago to Portland, Me. for the fun
1t and to see &c he can beat the
record made by Edward Payson Yves.
ton.
Quinn claims to nave walked from
Philadelphia TO New York in %
hours and % minutes in 1918. Yves.
toms record for the walk Is IS MN.
utes longer.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-10-30

The Dlxies and the Will Bees had a
very exciting contest in the Temple
League last evening. The Dixies lost
two and won one. Manager Linn OF
the Dixies cracked out a nice total OF
1874 pins in the first game, which is
high for the season, Amos having high.
average for the night.