The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-02-14
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Gives the Members Some Good Advice

! jump outer bed an run 'em down, an
! nobody found fault wild it It'll a few
! months ago. Den medical science step
| ped in an diskibercd dat sIeepin' wild
! dc feet hangin' out interfered wild de
| circulation of de blood an brunS on
| catarrh an lots O. other ailments. an
| shortened a pusson's life by vars an
Vars. De rest O. You Kin do as you
| like about il. but I have bin sleepin
! lately wild my feet tied under de bed
clothes. an I believe de change has dun
me good.
! We must look out fur de sanitary biz
| ness il dc food We eat an de way We
eat it. De baby may like raw turnip an
| bananas. but he shouldn't be filled up
I to dc chin on 'em jest afore goin' to bed.
! It's heap easier to gulp down a billed
am gwine to shatter our systems all
to smash we had better stop TO cut II in
/ two on butter de halves.
Oar am likewise another matter which
| I wish to refer to dis eavenin', an dat
am de weakness of de Guild people in
general fur putin on style, as it is
called. We hev examples of it almost
cherry night in de week. Way back in
| home De elder owns his house an am
purity well fixed. an he kin afford SIGH
things. l was dar as one of de guests,
an while I thought de elder was a lee
! tie eNtraVaEant in de way dey served
| up fried eggs at fo'ty cents dozen
had no criticism TO make. What pains
mo am what folders DAT party
a week later Judge Cabin's wife had
de same kind of a circus. De judge. as
Ne all know has de hardest kind o
| work to git 'taters an meat fur his nine
| chill en-. an half OF en- nov to go b'arfut
all winter. His wife didn't want to be
outdun however. an so she had a
| crush She had three kinds o. cake. two
sorts O. cheese an 70 kinds o cold meat.
an de dress she had on nehber cost less n
! thirty cents a yard. Oar was a heap o
people dar. an everybody had good
| time, but de last guest was hardly outer
! &c house when de Judge was around try
| in TO borrow five dollars to make up his
months rent. Since dat time de family
| has libed mostly on bread an water,
an de parlor clock has gone to de pawn
shop to buy food.
plainin way, but it pains me to see what
| leetlc sense sum folks hev. Putin on
! STYLE an sWellin' around am all right
fur de folks dat hev got de cash down
! in der pockets, but all wrong fur de
| folks who heVcn't"
par was a time. an it was not so
! long ago, dat cherry Guild man who had
| wife had his shirts made by dat wire
| If she didn I git Clus fit 1t was jist de
saufe Dey was roomy an comfortable
an de seams didn't go rippin' when you
jumped oher a fence You could turn a
of You could git run ober by street
kyar and when dey took Your body home
not tail of dat shirt would be found
| ue WuSS III ut u dSCNN-
Den, as sudden as de Dustin, of de
JohustoUn reservoir, de dollar shirt hit
de kentry atwixt de eyes
TT was announced dat it had cum to
DE Guild mans wife was willin' to
| keep right on maxim his shirts, out ne
wouldn't hev it no mo- dat way
He wanted style stead OF comfort.
He wanted folks TO think ne war tlst
! as big a man as Carnegie.
Though dem dollar shirts has been a
snare an a delusion, dey has been sold
| to millvOns of Guild men. an now an
other change am at hand. De dollar
| shirt must take a back seat fur de one
costin' a dollar and a half. John D. has
set de pace fur de hull kentry by or
derin' six of 'em to once an l hear dat
at least ten members of dis club, am
EO'n to hev de new shirts II DER chill en-
! hev to go barfut frew dc snow.
MY frens l am not gwine TO say you
snail or YOU shan't about SIGH things
Dis am a kentrv whar' even an IDIOT
| has a right to make a fule OF hisselt IN
| any way dat he thinks best
II list say this TO you: Mrs. Gardner
will continer to make my shirts. ana DE
! first member wearin' de John D. brand
dat Gums to my cabin to borrow dol
! lar to help him Ober Sunday VIII be
promptly frowed ober de fence an told
! TO amply to de asylum next doah- Let US
| go to our varus homes.