The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1915-01-07

pills. said the salesgirl as she took
my matching" sample and studied 1t
with tired eyes How would yuh like
to stand behind here and let about
thousand of them pills a day heave
Irish confetti at yuh?"
Irish Confetti" I inquired. mysti-
fed.
"Half-bricks-yuh're on'y pretend
in that yuh don't get me, amt yuh?
Well, there amt anythin' in this
thing O. sittin' on the mourners' bench;
but along about this time O. the after
noon I feel SO clawed up by them pill
in cats that breeze in here to take a
inventory O. stock that get to thinkin'
I'm fghtin' the inmates Of Bide-a-
Wee home.
Them four dolls didn't skate In
here t buy. They just ambled along
t scratch. They've been V-wedgin'
through bargain-counter crushes all
day. and they've picked up q peeve,
dom that, that they're afraid to tote
home T. their men-folks because they
are hep that the men. when they hit
the hall and hang their kellys up on
the rack, are goin' T. be there with
grouches themselves.
They're not keen r. the kind O.
all-hands medicine that the hubby
dovell pull in case anythin' is started.
So. just { get the rough edges o their
peeves sand-papered down, they skid
along here q little while before closin'
up time and begin t toss chunks o
loose asphalt at US sunny-natured-look-
in dolls behind the counters. A lot Of
'em pick me out because I'm there
most O. the time with one O. them
grins that got froze on my map by
mistake when I first fell intuh this
business and before I jerried up t 1t
that the grinner Is pie for them VIM
men that wants somebody t pick on.
There amt no use chirpin' about it.
I'm crazy over my own sex. They
make it just about as peaceful for me
as IL was on a battle field ten hours
a day. Sometimes I feel like I'm de-
velopin' intuh white hope. 1t used
t. be that I'd let 'em hand me the har-
pooh one after the other, just as fast
as they could nudge up t the coun-
ter
"But four years Of 1t has funneled
the vinegar intuh my nachully win
some disposition, so that now I take
slant at their wicks as they elbow
along; and if they're there with that
I'm goin' -t'-push OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
glitter in their lamps, feel myself
stiffenin' like somebody that's waitin'
for trolley car t hit him on the nigh
end O. the wishbone, and it's all I can
do t. keep from tricklin' back as good
as they shoot in.
"On'y need the eight-a-week,
whereas that eight thing isn't gum
change for them, so that they've got
me sewed up before the gong rings,
and they know it. So the best I get
for mine is a 'casional little uppercut
that I've gotta eat as like as not before
the ambulance in the shape Of the
floorwalker comes up, whereas they
can paste me ontuh the ropes and
swing on me with both mitts.
"And they're hard t. dope by just
lookin' 'em over, If yuh're inquirin' o
me. I get 'em right, as they sail down
the aisle. about four times outa five
Then I head-on intuh one that don't
run t. her looks. and I'm in Heinie.
Dye think you can chart 'em right
because they're there with one O. them
Dolly Warden smiles? I'm askin' yuf
! that, because most men do. l AIM
: never cut the trail yet Of man thai
wasn't fall-guy for a smilin' cat. But
, I needn't talk. I'm a mark for thai
stuff myself ev'ry once in while.
"I'll wise yuh t. one Of the smilin
! kind that waltzed up to my counter
day before yestiddy afternoon. Sh'
was a nifty-dressed, peachy-skinnet
dumplin' Of about thirty or so. tina
was logged like she had man work
in the day and night shifts both end
from the middle t keep her diked GU
In all the scenery fit t wear.
81 wicked her smile when she wa
20 feet away. 1t looked like the sui
comm out from under cloud ant
shimmerin' on the water on the da.
youh're bound for Coney. Some doll
pull that kind Of a grin all the tim
that they're not sleepin' just t give al
hands a chance t. pipe their pearl
teeth But this ones smile looked
be on the level.
"T'm goin' T. get along with thi
cunnin' fatty says to myself, as sh
swung for my counter. She's chatt
little thing that'll be prattlin' to me al
about the news Of the day and askir
me II I don't find the life Of a sales
girl hard. and II I'm engaged, and
not why not, an all the like o thai
Hi-hum! It's nice t. wait on cheel
full skirt just before closin-up time
That's a bug with most Of us, yu
know-t' top off the day by waitin' o
one that don't bark at us. We hate
break outa the plant and steer for tn
ballroom with the coyote music in on
ears, and that's what it sounds like a
the end of a long day when VIC snag
piller to be waited on just before tn
big doors are closed and we're due t
vamp.
We'll. this one with the dimple
and the fine double row o. mother-o
pearl molars and the sunny smirk tha
looked like the twenty-four carat III N
pumped on stool in front of me. an
looked me right in the lamps with
widenin' of her cutey grin; and
wiped the froze grin from my chal