davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
 Be good to your mother boy. The rest of the world is busy examining your faults with microscopes. But your mother looks through the big end of a telescope when she is looking at your faults.
 A rosy-cheeked corn-fed girl never got that way from nibbling at canary birds tongues or mocking birds eyebrows. And she never got that way from eating sar- dimes out of cans. She can usually put an awful dent into a mess of corned beef and cabbage, and what she can do to a plate of pigs knuckles and kraut Is a crime. And you never saw corn-fed who wasn't good cook
 Some men join the army when they want to be ordered around day and night. And other men get married
 After you have lived in one for a while you will discover that 1t is almost as dan gerous to raise your voice in fiat as 1t is to raise children in one.
 If all the human pests were compelled to wear labels you imagine that every man in town but yourself would be la beled. But the chances are that you would be the very first party the pest catchers would tag
 You never heard of a June bridegroom. But a June or two later on you will see a sheepsh looking lad pushing baby pussy dlons tHo strcetp anu thut iaiih' A man can keep his wife awake with his snoring. but he can't convince her | that he is the big noise around their 1 house.
 It is human nature to wait until a man | hasn't any teeth before you offer him a 1 bone.
 ] When staples go up in price your groc<s | Is the first to hear of it. But whom staples
 go down in price your grocer Is the last to hear of 1t.
 | When they are first married it ticklel him to see that she has saved all of his
 love letters and has them all tied ur
 with ribbons, and he swells up with pride
 He doesn't realize that about 15 yeari
 later, when he is a bald-headed shrimp and she Is a fat woman with q leather
 face she will get even with him by read ing extracts from the letters in which he
 calls her his ''darlingest, dearest. sweet i est, little bunchey of sugar and kisses land tells her that she will spend her life l in his strong arms and never leave
 his manly breast. ! A woman can't understand why . mar doesn't buy his clothes so they will matck the rug in the sitting room.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
LITTLE MISTRESS OF THE HOUSE

By Julia Nicely Finch. Oh, house deserted! Place forlorn, With grass-grown walks and sagging
 gate!
 With famished flowers, fallen, dead, And all of life from out thee fled, Where hath she gone? How far hath
 flown,
 The little mistress of the housef This was my home. My very own And she the spirit of it all Twas here she stood to say "Good-by!'' "Good-by for just little while" And, oh, the blessing of her smile! The love within her lifted eyes! Those eyes blue as summer skies! Oh, lonely place and desolate, With ooors and windows shut and barred And nimble insects spinning guard Of filament and silken thread Where hath the little mistress gone? Twas ever her bright way to fling Windows wide unto the sun- That no forlorn and lonely one Should pass and lack her friendly aid Unheard go some low trembling call; And fitting in and out she'd sing As birds sing when they brood and build Oh, empty house and empty world. Oh. fiags of joy forever furied And ''f"'e bright wine, outpoured and spilled
 I am ,oncly! am afraid! Where hath the little mistress gone7
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
CHINAFIEDf NEVER!

From the Detroit News. Is the United States to be China fed?'
 Colonel Roosevelt does the people of his country no good; he does not even
 do them justice, in his declaration that
 because there Is a strong sentiment for peace there is danger of their becom- ing "Chinahed."
 There is nothing in the make up of the American that is like the China man and there is no danger of his country becoming like China The Chinaman has been contented with his lot for thousands of years. what is good enough for father Is good enough for following generations. The Chinaman is not progressive; he Is not active; his reverence for the past has prevented him from looking to the future. from advancing. The American is not content; he is progressive; he does look to the future. Some of our people are now known as foreigners. but there isn't one of us that has to go back many genera tions to find that his ancestor was a foreigner; and what led these newly
 arrived citizens to come to this coun try, whether they are now foreign born
 or whether they were our fathers, our srandfathers or our great grandfath- CTS?
 There was something in the blood of each and every one of them that made him discontented with his lot in the old ro och of hoI ob enough and grit enough and ambition enough to throw off the conditions that
 surrounded him In his native land. break the family ties and come to
 new country to better the condition of himself his children and his childrens s children.
 America Is built up with the pro- gressive citizens of every European
 country Men who were not satisfied to
 be mere plodders have come together 1 and are working together to make this a great nation.
 It is the height of being ridiculous ] to even think, much less suggest that a nation founded and peopled by men
 and women of that type can ever be Chinafed.
 Many came to throw off the yoke that menaced them in Europe; mary.
 most of them, still look on war as | murder, believing that it Is and should be the mission of a great nation to work for the advancement of the arts of peace and not for the art of slaush- ter. They believe in making the world a better place to live in and not in sending the best sons to an early death. They believe in working just as hard to advance the nation as other nations | are working to kill off their neighbors. | In this they are neither Chinamen, nor , Chinaied
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
HOTEL LOBBIES
Traffic Prospect. Frightening

The railroad business in this part of the country. after long period of dullness, is beginning to show signs of Improvement" remarked Robert l.. Southern
 Every furnace that goes into blast means more traffic for the roads cen tering in Birmingham. Not in several years has there been as much indus trial activity as there is today and con- ditions generally are improving rapid ly. l do not see what Is to keep the railroads from participating in the new prosperity"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
"HE sections of the new revenue bill
 containing exemption from taxa u t;o,, odootol hv tha lob mn boi1Se

"HE sections of the new revenue bill
 containing exemption from taxa
 \ tion adopted by the Alabama house of representatives are as follows:
 Sec 2. The following property and per sons shall be exempt from taxation:
 l. All bonds of the United States and of this state and all county and municipal bonds issued by counties municipalities of this state. All property. real and per- sonal. of the United States and of this state, and of the county and municipal corporations of this state; all cemeteries and lots in the same, except such as are held and owned for sale or for profit, and all lots in incorporated cities and towns and all lands and buildings thereon. when the same are used exclusively for re- ligious worship, educational or purely charitable purposes; all school furniture and personal property used exclusively for school purposes; and all property, real or personal that may be used exclu- sively for agricultural or horticultural as- sociations of a public character. or for the maintenance and education of young men preparing for the ministry in any church or religious association; all prop erty of state or county fair associations: all money on deposit in banks, and all manufactured articles which shall remain in the hands of the manufacturers thereof on the first day of October of the year in which said articles were manufactured. and all other property now exempt by law; provided that nothing herein con- tained shall repeal or limit the exemption from taxation of any property now ex- empted for . limited time. or extend such exemption for a greater time.
 ?. All the property of literary and scien- tifc institutions and literary societies, when employed or used in the regular business of such institutions.
 3. The libraries of ministers of the gos- pei, and all libraries other than those of professional character. and all religious books kept for sale by ministers of the gospel and colporters.
 4. All deaf mutes and insane and blind persons, and their property to the value of 5000.
 5. From poll tax, all persons permanently disabled. whose taxable property does not exceed $500.
 6. All family portraits.
 '. The following property, to be selected by the head of each family, viz: House.
 hold and kitchen furniture. not to exceed in value $15O one yoke of oxen, one cart or wagon, two COWS and calves, 20 head of stock hogs, 10 head of sheep, <all poultry, all cotton and other agricultural products
 which were raised or grown during the preceding year, and which shall remain | In the hands of the producer thereof; pro- visions and supplies on hand for the cur rent year, for the use of the family and ] the making of the crop; all wearing ap-
 parel; all looms and spinning whssls kept
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
Steady Improvement fin Business

The increasing industrial activity in the Birmingham district, Is. as a mat ter Of course, having a fine effect on business here not that general trade has returned to normal, but after lew more pay days money will be well circulated and the merchants will pros per- said R. W. Ewing, ex-president of the Board of Trade.
 People are now more optimistic than they have been at any time this year; and they have good reason tc be- It is safe to say that before the end of the year business conditions in Birmingham will be fully up to nor mal'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

The largest ostrich farm in the United States is at Pasadena, Cal. Thirty one years ago there were less than 50 ostriches in the country. most of these being in than 5000 of the big birds on farms in Arizona, Texas, California and Florida
 While ostrich raising is expensive, the average crop of plumes from an adult bird is worth from $20 to ssO so that the business Is profitable The male ostrich produces the glossy black feathers which are most valuable and the female yields the drab feathers which are dyed various hues. The feathers of the California os- triches are surpassed only by those of the Syrian and Arabian birds A farmer says that head of cattle will consume pounds. At five years the head of cattle is worth $40 and the ostrich is worth s3O0 At 10 months an ostrich produces H0 worth of feathers and after that from $50 to $50 worth annually. An ostrich ma lures at five years of age, but some of them live IS long as human, beings and many produce fine plumage when 75 years old While some of the California and Arizona male birds are rated at s5OOO, the average value is about $3Oo for bird one year old and about s10o for a chick The first experiment in ostrich farming was made in this country by an Englishman who imported the birds from Africa and paid S1200 pair for them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
IN SPITE OF IT

Fi om the Cleveland Plain Dealer
 Senator Kern says that Wilson will have no more enthusiastic supporter than Bryan Even that ingenious method, one far cies, will hardly have the effect of beating the President for a second term.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

From the Grand Ldge Times.
 N. Roy Lee. the skilled gardener of this city. has gained some renown in agricul- tural circles by producing wormless to- mato plant. If gently tapped on the head with stick the biggest green tomato worms will leave these plants alone and go and eat alfalfa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
Crop DiversificntiOn

"The cotton south, by diversifying its crops. is on the road to great wealth." said B. J. Hudson of St. Louis.
 ''The crop diversifcation campaign start ed In Alabama last spring has, I am told, been a wonderful success. Arkansas be- gan a systematic movement to diversity year before last, and fine results are now seen. Tn nearly every southern state the diversification practice is more or less in vogue, and this wide section, instead of being known only a cotton producer, Is gaining big reputation for its grain and forage crops and forit live stock.
 "The Baltimore Manufacturers Record. by advertising to the world that the south's grain this year will far exceed in money value the cotton crop. has done un- told good. A tide of homeseekers is sure to turn this way next fall"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

BEGINNING THE DAY-Lord, I need strength, I need courage, | need faith-I need to lose my weak ness in Thy power. Even when l know. I find it hard to do. l begin, but I fnlter, I lose sight of my Mas ter, I sink into compromise. 0 Lord, give me simple trust that will en- able me to go straight on. In Christ's name. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
The National Conventions

lowing to the absorbing information al problems confronting the Wilson ad- minstration little interest is taken in the question of next years national democratic convention said R. N Sut- ton of Chicago.
 q voted foS Wilson in 1912 and if he Is renominated 1t will give me pleas tire to vote for him again. I am not a politician but have never failed to vote since I attained my majority in 1892. I voted for Cleveland then, but voted the republican ticket right along after that until Woodrow Wilson was nom- mated by the democrats I believe Pres ident Wilson can be reelected in 1916 by safe majority.
 "The democratic convention will probably be held in Chicago. prom inent republican told me the other day that Philadelphia would make a strong effort to get the republican conven- ton, but I would not be surprised if one of the cities of the middle west was selected"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
AN APPROPRIATE TITLE

From the Louisville Herald.
 When Austria Hungary sent that pre- emptory note to Servia. she did not call 1t an uitimatum.< but demarche. If she had chosen to call 1t dead march the description would have fitted neatly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
A DISTURBING SOUND.

There is no excuse for a man being run down by a motor car. All he has to do is to keep his wits about him. .,
 "Of course" replied the recent victim. in sarcastic tones. There Is nothing more conducive to rational thinking than a. loud 'Honk.' heard unexpectedly in one's rear" l-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
TROUBLES ENOUGH ALREADY

From the Louisville Post
 The President. it is said. has no idea of calling an extra session of Congress. He has troubles enough on hand at pres ent without going out of his way to gather iu moro.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
FINE PoIsE.

"Chugsforth seems to be at home in any
 sort of company s- That's true I've seen him park his
 automobile with lot of $7ooo cars and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

While MT. rady may lament the defec- ton of RobeD Mantell to the movies" :" he should remember that Mir. Mantell is getting on in years and one-night stands no longer appeal to him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

If cigarettes are abolished in Alabama, the legislators should turn their attention next to the nefarious practice of drinking a matutinal cup of coffee.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

Being comparatively free from war news. the sporting page is now the most restful part of the average newspaper.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Chicago packers threaten not to export any more meat unless England stops hold ing up shipments. No signs of grief and worry are noticed on the faces of any American consumers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

Each succeeding day makes the plight of the Turks little worse than it was the day before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

The Germans and Austrians are using football tactics in trying to make gains around the Russian ends.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
CHEAP EXCITEMENT

From the Washington Star
 Di. Anna Shaw has managed to get a great deal of excitement out of her auto mobile without any wear and tear on the tres
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

The captain of the Eastland says he will not be made the goat. Still, the chances are that he will have a hard time getting another job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

A lady poet who rhymes morn" with dawn was probably writing in a hurry so she could be present when her favorite club was called to order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
FAMILIAR ODOR.

This is the age of gasoline,
 A truth we realize full well. AS proved by the signs of all men seen
 And also by our sense of smell.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

"Chautauqua kisses" are now figuring in suit for divorce as the more repre-. hensible form of the ''chautauqua salute. ''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

"Josephus must go," declare the Secre- tary's critics. but Josephus is just now such a busy man that he probably doesn't t hear them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
A MICHIGAN BURBANK

The cabaret life is largely an afternoon and evening affair.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
THE THROWBACK.

THE THROWBACK. What have you to say?" asked the
 sheriff, just before the trap was sprung. "Only this" said the man who was about to be hanged. My parents are in no way
 to blame for my present plight. I was eugenic baby
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

Aside from presidential booms, the San Francisco fair offers variety of attrac- tons.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

One bomb explosion was enough to make Texas manufacturer change his mind about accepting contracts for the Allies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
Prosperity Extending southward

Prosperity seems to have reached Bir- mingham.' said H. H. Arnold of Ne,, Yors. When I took a trip through the south last winter I found, as I expected, much depression on account of the cot ton market.
 Every city I visited, from Richmond to Houston, had been badly hit Richmond is not dependent on cotton as are the cities in the cotton belt, yet it was duller than had ever seen 1t. I spent two days in Richmond last week, and was glad to see a business revival in full swing there
 ''The prosperity that is in such marked evidence in the east will gradually extend to all parts of the south. Atlanta, which was feeling the depression six months ago, Is very different looking city now. And as for Birmingham one would think from a glance at the smoke stacks that this city was on a boom."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
ALAS.

Fate plays on mortals divers tricks
 And keeps them always guessing. chap a good housekeeper'' picks And finds her forte is dressing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
ANSWERED.

"Oh, Life,' he cried. "how can this be? Thou hast but little charm for me And all my days and all my nights Are colorless, and few delights Upon my dull horizon gleam To gild the glory of a dream. dwell in gloom. my senses numb; The voices of my soul are dumb!'
 Give heed" said Life, thou foolish elf The fault not mine, lies in thyself.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

The more one reads about the situation in Europe, the more attractive seems a trip to the south pole.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

Henry James, probably the most thor oughly Angicized American of his time, has become an English citizen, but not for the puSpose of going to the front.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

As a war orator, MT. Kipling is strictly minor league performer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

The cheapness of dying is about to over shadow the high cost of living.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
A SUBSTITUTE.

"The Calder girls are greatly disap- pointed because they can't tour Europe this year.
 How are they passing the timer"
 They are doing settlement work in Little Italy.'"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
.oh, you never can tell

Perhaps that's true. but I'm not wer- rying any. He has great little curve for a youngster his age.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31
AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY.

AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY
 sflsi4 "A candidate for office should be care full of the promises he makes tar Quite so," answered the practical poli- tician. He should make only such prom ises as are subject to at least two in- terpretations and then leave the task of interpretating them to his campaigp manager"
 NOTHING MORE NEEDED. I met a bathing beauty
 l think her name was Rose; Although she couldn't swim a stroke, She knew lovely pose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

A FUTURE PITCHER. 'IS1 afraid my boy will never be Presi- dent.' ..-- 4.4 s,. 1. .s... .--e.l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

Some sins do bear their privilege on
 earth. -lNing John.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

I am ,oneiy! am afraid! Where hath the little mistress gone7
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-07-31

Entered at tho BIrmlngham, Ala. rustoffice as second class matter un- der act of Congress March 3. lsis.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-20
EDUCATORS MEET
 IN MONTGOMERY
Nearly 200 Are Attending Conference in Capital.
 Feagin Speaks

Montgomery, November 19.-(Special) County high school principals. members of the State School Improvement associa- tion, and representatives of the Alabama Illiteracy commission, are meeting in joint conference in Montgomery for the purpose of discussing matters of common interest. Altogether, there are about 175 educational workers here.
 The session this morning was held in the assembly room of the public service commission, at which time county high school work was the principal topic of discussion. Superintendent Feagn and other educational leaders made addresses.
 The programme for this afternoon in-
 cluded a luncheon at the Sidney Lanier High school and a session in the audi toriuIn of the High school, when school improvement work was discussed. The joint session today was devoted exclusively to discussion of the problem of illiteracy. A large number of members of the illiteracy commission was present.
 Speeches were made by well known teach CTS interested in the work, and an illus trated lecture was given by Prof. R. B. Hobdy of the educational department.
 Tho sessions will continue through to- morrow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-11-20
bETTERT0N TAKES THE WITNESS STAND t Chattanooga Police Com missioner Denies Shipping
 Whisky in Collins

Chattanooga, November 19.-(Special) The principal feature today in the trial of T. c. Betterton. police commissioner of Chattanooga, charged with shipping whisky in collins, was the appearance on the stand of the defendant himself, as the first witness for the defense.
 He told how in 1907 he had gone to the from whence the shipments were made, to take charge of the lumber yard, and in little more than a year had become the general manager. He said he had found the custom of shipping whisky in coffins was practiced when he took charge. That soon thereafter, or about 1909, he had conferred with his father, then pres- ident of the company, concerning the mat ter. and as 6 result had ordered it dis continued. However, in 1909. the com pany had bought from E. R. Betterton & Co, a cargo of whisky consisting of some 45O quarts.
 Thursday afternoons session was de- voted to an effort on the part of the the government to show that MT. Betterton had ample knowledge of the liquor ship ments.
 It was shown that upon occasions as many as 90 bottles were unloaded and packed into the locker That when the shipping clerk became irresponsible MT. Betterton ordered that the key to the locker be taken from him.