davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Waterproof Matches.

Hint for camping and fishing PAL
ties. Many of you have encountered
the annoying experience Of findin
yourselves miles from store and 81
the matches in your possession 81
damp that they could not be used
A fact worth knowing is that matched
can be made waterproof without Ii!
jury by dipping them in very no
melted paraffin, allow them to COO
and they are ready for use. The par
afiin does not interfere with their ust
in the regular way and they are az
solutely protected from dampness.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Two sinales.

The Nervous Citrate Crying to fol-
low an introduction with genial con-
versation) -And-er-how is your
wife in these trying times?
The Introduced regret to say, sir,
that / am not married.
The Nervous Curate-Ah, yes, of
course; how exceedingly pleasant that
is! take it, then, that your wife is
single, too.-London Sketch.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
SELF sHAMPooING
With cuticura Soap is Most Comfort.
ifN and Beneficial. Trial Free.

Especially if preceded by touches
of Cuticura Ointment to spots of dan
druff and itching on the scalp skin.
These supercreamy emollients meet
every skin want as well as every
toilet and nursery want in caring for
the skin, scalp, hair and hands.
Sample each free by mail with Book.
Address postcard, Cuticura, Dept. Ky,
Boston. Sold eyerywhere.-Adv.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Coal n pethroned.

The Norfolk & Western railroad has
electrified 100 miles of its system in
West Virginia. one of the heaviest
coal carriers in the world The cleo
trio locomotives in use weigh 270
tons each and two Of them attached to
a 4,OO0-ton train recently carried it
with ease up two per cent grade at
the rate of fourteen miles an hour, a
rate twice that attained by the most
efficient steam locomotives formerly
used on the system.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Improvement Impossible.

Improvement Impossible.
1--we been a strap-hanger for 20
years" said the man who wore re-
signed look.
Il guess you have your opinion of
the trolley company"
We'll, / haven't thought much about
the company, but | believe if would
devote a little time to it / could in
vent more comfortable strap than
any now in use."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
A Pitched Battle.

From the viewpoint of an innocent
bystander." philosophically remarked
the old codger, Il believe that the
keenest competition l know of occurs
when two chronic dyspeptics get to-
gether and compare their symptoms"
Judge.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Sea Sheds for Coast pefen,e.

Sea sleds are the latest craft to III
considered by the United States navS
for coast defense work. The navy 4
experimenting with half-motor boat
half-hydroaeroplane. which neithe,
flies over the water nor cuts through
1t, but skips along its surface. A q
foot boat of this type has made 365s
miles an hour at navy test. It Il
hoped to obtain a boat that will carr.
men at IS or 60 miles an hour. It A
said 200 of such craft could be buil)
at the cost Of a single scout cruise
and would be much more effective.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Murphx,s Dilemma

They met on the high road and
shook hands.
"shure, Pat" said Murphy. "bettin's
shockin' bad habit
"shure, Murphy" said Pat. But
why?"
'.Ye know Costigan?"
.Troth l dol"
WELL" said Murphy, "he bet
sixpence to shilling that l couldn
swallow an egg without breaking the
shell of it,
And did ye lose the bet?" asked
Pat.
mo, Pat, won it." replied Murphy.
"Then phwat's ailin' ye?"
"shure. it's the egg that's ailin'
me-" groaned Murphy. eff / jump
about I'll break it and cut me stom-
ach wild the she'll, an If kape quiet
It'll hatch an I'll have a Shanghai
rooster scratchin' me inside! Pear
sons.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

ne willy PROFESSOR.
Clerk-See here! You told me if
took your course, it wouldn't be long
before was earning $40 week.
Professor Skinner-Well?
Clerk-Well, the most can earn
is $40.
PROFESSIONALISM SO? But, honestly,
now, don't you feel that you are earn
ing $40? Almost every clerk feels he
earns at least twice as much as he
gets.-Boston Transcript.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Explained.

Calder (complacently)-Ah, Bobby,
l am glad to see my photograph in
your sisters frame on the mantel.
Bobby-Well, she had to rush some
to get it in over Toms before you
came
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Novel Billiard Tables.

Billiard tables supported on solis
rock are among the novel features 81
house on one of the islands Of thu
San Juan archipelago in Puget sound
Each table rests on massive com
crete base which extends through aI
opening in the floor and has it's foot
ing on bedrock, and is therefore Cd
solid and as free from vibration as
it were part Of the island itself. n
South African business is severely
depressed by the war.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
New Minnesota Iron Mine.

A new iron mine now being operated
in Minnesota has an estimated con-
tent of 4O,O00,O0O tons of ore. 1t will
be worked by the open-pit method
prevalent in that state.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Congressman Olmstead wants to
know what it costs to keep hen
year. The cost varies. To some mar
ried men the expenses runs into thou
sands of dollars.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
An Ideal combinatio,

An Ideal Combination.
What is your idea of happy COM
bination?" asked the doctor.
"a millionaire menu with a deck
hand appetite" answered the equity
patient.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

You can attract some attention by
being champion speller, but the fell
tionary seem to have most Of the good
Jobs corralled
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

The manager prevents many of us
from getting even with the world by
writing play.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Many man imagines that there is
only one honest man in the world.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Owing to the shortage of farm la
borers England is giving attention to
labor-saving devices.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

A perforated rubber fly swatter has
been invented. having the advantage
that it will not scratch furniture.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

To remove grease and dirt from ma
chinery with gasoline is the purpose
of new compassionate syringe.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
mo, Pat, won 1t" replied Murphy.
"Then phwat's ailin' ye?"
A Wise Parent.

Father" said Willie, 81 want to
write war poem and can't think Of
q rhyme for Przemysl. Would weasel
do?"
II don't know, my son." replied the
pater. But I'm told there is no rhyme
for jitney. Why not try that? No
body'd know the difference
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

A blush is one of the few things
that cannot be counterfeited
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Massachusetts has six living ex-
governors.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

The bird in the hand never sings as
delightfully."- as the one in the bush.
anyhow
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

A gasoline engine driven dynamo
that is entirely automatic in its action
is attracting attention in England.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

China yearly exports 5000 leopard
skins.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

British Columbia reports the dis
covery of extensive gypsum deposits.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
ITO Tier OF
SCHOOL Girl
Tells How Lydia E. Pinlxham'.
Vegetable Compound Re-
stored Her Daush-
ter's Health.

Plover, lows. Lee From Z small child
my 18 year old daughter had female
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

A seismograph invented by Japa-
nese scientist registers the velocity of
all earthquakes two hundred fold.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

There are different causes Of popu-
larity, but telling the sad story of
ones life is not one of them.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Some girls are relegated to the spir
ster class because of their cuteness.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
quite Easy.

Quite Easy.
II hear Jim is going to organize
an aeroplane enterprise"
HE ought to find it an easy matter
to keep its stock soaring"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

A married man imagines he is hav.
ing good time when he does any,
thing he knows his wife wouldn't ap-
prove of.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Lawful Procedure.

Magistrate-Why should you not be
heavily fined for backing this mans
eye?
Defendant beg to remind your
honor was performing an action re-
CURED by the law.
Magistrate What do you mean.
sir?
Defendant was only dimming his
lights,
HALT the important European land
battles of the last centuries have
taken place in Belgium.
Don't owe your neighbor a grudge;
better cancel the debt at once.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Possessed.

II don't know what's the matter
with her Of late, she acts like one pos.
sessed."
Maybe she's engaged"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

1dleness is the lazy mans continu-
GUS holiday.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

This Year.
isn't 1t warm today?"
Eyes: but how lovely and cool your
furs do make you look
The Croton river. which furnishes to
New York the greater part of the wa
ter consumed in its limits. was named
for an Indian chief
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
When 1t is.

When Il is.
PA, is marriage failure?"
Usually, my hoy. II a man marries'
for money. Detroit Free Press.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Makes UP for II

docs your furnace smoke very
much, Mrs. Jiggs?"
mo; my husband does.''
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
The Remedy.

That man has an icy manner"
Then give him few melting
glances.''
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Love cannot be bought or sold, but
1t may be exchanged.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26

Exactly.
What do you think? They pinched
the multimillionaire for speeding"
We'll. wasn't that rich one!"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1915-08-26
Make the Liver
Do it's DUTY

Nine dimes In ten when the FLYER n
right the stomach and bowels are right
CARIER'S LITTLE -
LIVER PILLS N
gentlybutf firmly COMFY
! !! !: : Il|!||
pei . lazy liver to- N1nTcHc|
do ito duty. YAK GkSl
Cures Con. n1kE
Sick - MI
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
MEXICAN CHEFS TOLD
 STRIFE MUST CEASE
Wilson Calls on Le1iaTS to
 Set Up a Real Government.

In q ringing declaration that admit called on the leaders in the McXicnu revolution to get together and adOp: some means of ending the into'e"nhl . conditions that have existed in the re public for so many years.
 He declared the situation was such that the people of the Tinted States cannot stand indifferentlv hy and do nothing to save their neighhor.
 The text of tue warning ill part fol lows:
 For more than two years revolu tionary conditions have existed in Mex. leo. The purpose of the revolution was to rid Mexico of men who ignored the constitution of the republic and used their power in contempt of the rights of its people. and with these purposes the people of the United States instinc, lively and generously sympathiZed.
 But the leaders of the revolution in the very hour of their success have disagreed and turned their arms against one another. all profeSSinG the same objects. They are nevertheless unable or unwilling to cooperate. A central authority at the City of Mexico is no sooner set up than 1t is under. mined and its authority denied hv those who were expected to support 1t.
 Mexico Is apparently no nearer a solution of her tragical troubles than she was when the revolution was first kindled. and she has been swept by civil war as if by fire. Her crops are destroyed. her fields lie unseeded. her work cattle are confiscntpd for the use of the armed factions. her people flee to the mountains to escape being drawn into unavailing bloodshed. and no man seems to see or lead the way to peace ard settled order. There is no proper protection either for her own citizens or for the citizens of other ma tions resident and at work within her territory. Mexico is starving and with out government.
 "In these circumstances the people and government of the United States cannot stand indifferently by and do nothing to serve their neighbors They NdHt HOlulHp TOT IUeUSelNeS III MPN ico. Least of all do they desire to set tie her affairs for her, or claim any right to do so. but neither do they wish to see utter ruin come upon her and they deem it their duty as friends and neighbors to lend any aid they properly can to any instrumentality which promises to be effective in bring ing about a settlement which will em body the real objects of the revolution -constitutional government and tho rights of the people.
 "I therefore publicly and very sol emnly call upon the leaders of factions in Mexico to act. to act together anc to act promptly for the relief and re demption of their prostrate country feel it to be my duty to tell then that if they cannot accommodate thei differences and unite for this grea purpose within very short time this government will be constrained to de eide what means should be employed by the United States in order to hell Mexico save herself and serve her peo ] pie"
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
WEST CORNWALL

Miss Lillian Smith enjoyed two of the Norfolk concerts through the ger- erosity of Miss Beckley.
 A large number of Cornwall people had the privilege of hearing one or more of the Norfolk concerts.
 Invitations are out for a church we'd ding June 19, when Miss Harriet Devan will become Mrs Soul.
 ClarenceBailey is in the lospital at Pittsfeld for appendicitis.
 Mrs. William Bailey is expected home this week.
 Children's Day will be observed next Sunday at North Cornwall in the morn- ing and at the chapel at three o'clock ir the afternoon.
 Monday night at the grange Mrs. w., c. Hart and Mrs. R. E. Rebstock pre- sented excellent papers on Home Economies, followed by remarks by several others. The attendance was small, doubtless due to th,, exercises at Cornwall connected with the close of the school year at Rumsy Hall.
 The village school closed Friday with three graduates: Dorothy Davidson, Mary O'Donnell and Donald Hart.
 J. B. Smith has a new seven passen- ger Buick car.
 Miss Jessie Wheaton is home for a months vacation.
 MT. c. E. Baldwin is not so we'll as he has been and for a few days has been confined to the bed. However, Miss Wheaton is there and it is hoped he will soon be out.
 MT. Abe Mallinson is not at all we'll and for time he and his wife are to be in town to care for his mother.
 MT. Nell Hart died quite sudd enly Sunday. The funeral was held from the chapel Tuesday morning with burial at North Cornwall. He was a veteran of the Civil war. Only one is left now in this end of the town and that is MT. Mark Nickerson.
 Plans are being made for strawberry festival at Grange hall soon.
 Mrs. Niles Scoville has returned home.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
BRITISH FLYER WINS FIGHT
Wrecks Zeppelin In Air Battle-FaIling Airship Hits Convent, Killing
 Two Children.


 A Zeppelin airship, destroyed by q British aviator between Ghent and Bruges, crashed through the roof of q convent at Monte St Amand, killing two children, according to dispatches received at Amsterdam from Ghent The airship was in flames when it struck the convent. The entire crew was killed.
 Monte St. Amand is a suburb Of Ghent The historic church and con. vent of Notre Dame de Lourdes en Flandre which attract thousands of tourists annually, are in the village. It is probable that this is the convent referred to in the Amsterdam dispatch.
 A dispatch to the Amsterdam Tele. graaf said that there were twenty eight members of the Zeppelin's crew The convent was filled with orphan children.
 For the second time in forty-eight hours the English east coast was bom- barded by hostile airship. Five per sons were killed and forty wounded, and two big fires were started.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
LEGAL NOTICES
NOTICE Special Town Me eting.


 The legal voters of the Town of Corn wall are hereby warned and notified that special town meeting will be held at the Town Hall in said Town on Tuesday, June 10th, 1915 at o'clock in the afternoon for the following pur- poses:
 To take action and pass any vote whicH may be deemed necessary to dis continue all that section of the highway Cor so much of same as is deemed ad- visable and expedient) which runs northerly from the residence of Andrew M. Clark through land of said Clark, land of John H. Finn, deceased, land of Seymour Cum ingham, and land of George B. Farnl am. particularly des- cribed as follows:
 Starting at a point in said highway northerly of the residence of Andrew M. Clark, thence northerly up and over the mountain to a point near the old Strattman house foundation on north side of highway, thence easterly to point northeasterly of the residence of William H. Baldwin where this high way intersects with highway running easterly to Goshen and westerly to Cornwall, and also that short section of highway running nortberly from the highway above described through land of George B. Farnham and William Fl. Baldwin, and com ecting said highway with the highway running easterly to Goshen and westerly to Cornwall particularly desl ribed, as follows: Starting at a Ioint in said high way easterly of the old Strattman house where this highway intersects with the highway runnil g easterly and westerly past residence of William H. Baldwin, above described, thence northerly to a point where this highway intersects with the highway running easterly to Goshen and westerly to Cornwall.
 Also to consider and take such action as may be deemed best regarding the school facilities at Cornwall Bridge and to pass any vote relating thereto.
 Also to do any other business proper to come before said meeting.
 Dated at Cornwall this 8th day of June, A. D., 1915.
 William A. Preston, Samuel R. Sco- vile, Wm. P, Kennedy, Selectmen of Cornwall.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
General Markets.

HAY-Receipts. 905 tons: steady; fair de- mand; prime timothy, SIPS; No. 1 timothy. s1.2Oa1.25; No. ?, S1.lOaLl5: No. B. sl.05a I07Jk.
 sTRAw-Receipts, co tons; easy; light dealings; supply moderate; No. l rye, 70a 75c.
 BUTTER-Creamery extras, 93 score. 2S1kc: higher scoring, 29a29Iac. flrsts, S9 to 92 score, 27ika2shc.; state dairy, tubs, finest, 8a2Sikc.; good to prime. 26laa27Ikc common to fair, 23a26c.: renovated extras, 2415a25c.: firsts, 23a24c.: lower grades, Fla PC: imitation creamery, firsts, 22ika23c ladies, current make, firsts. PC; seconds 2a21kc.; lower grades. 1919a2O1kc.: packing stock, current make, No ?, 20a201zc. low CT grades, 1SJha19ikc.
 CHEESE-State whole milk, fresh flats and twins. white and colored specials. 16Aa17c.: average fancy, 16I5a16Ssc.; state skins, fresh specials, 13Iha14c.; skins, fresh. choice, 12alSc.; fair to good. 1oa1lNc.
 EGGS-Fresh gathered extras, 23a24c. extra firsts, 211za22c.; firsts, 20a21c.; sec- onds, 1S1aa191ac.: No. 1 dirties, 17ha1sc. hennery whites, fine to fancy, 2ika25c hennery browns, 23a24c.: mixed colors, Fla 2215c.; Baltimore duck, 2la24c.
 LIVE POULTRY - Fowls. 141ka15kc broilers, 22a25c. old roosters, 10a10Iac.; tur- keys, 12c.; ducks, spring, 2Oc.; old, l7c.: western, 14c. geese. 10c. guineas, pair, BOG; pigeons, 2S.
 DRESSED POULTRY-Fowls, 12 to box, western, co lbs. and over to dozen. dry picked, 1Sc. lbs. and over 161kc.; old roosters. 11ka12c.; squabs, prime, white, 10 lbs. to dozen, $3.I5; lbs, S3.25: 8 lbs.. $275; turkeys, fresh hens and toms, lea 7c.; frozen turkeys, dry picked, selected, 21c.; western. 20c.: Texas. 17a17Ikc.; broil- CTS, milk fed IS to 2i lbs, 27a2sc.; corn fed, IS to 24 lbs. 2jc.: chickens. 12 to box, milk fe6 3l to 36 lbs. 20c; 4S lbs and over, 21a22c.; corn fed. 3l to 36 lbs. 1sc. 1: 4s lbs. and over, 2Oc.; fowls 12 to box, 60 lbs. and over to dozen, 1sc. 90 to 35 lbs, 16c.; old roosters, 12al2Ikc.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
FOUR SHIPS SUNK IN BALTIC.
Reported Three German Vessels and
 Russian Transport Destroyed.

Reported Inree 1erman Vessels and
 Russian Transport Destroyed.
 Announcement that a Russian trans port, the Yenesei, has been sunk in the Baltic by German submarines and only thirty-two men saved, and that three German steamships have been sunk by mines or by Russian submarines, was made by the czars ministry of marine.
 Berlin asserts that the Amur, a Rus sian second class cruiser, was sunk in this action.
 The Russian navy list shows no war ship of this name, but only a mine layer of the same type as the Yenesei. and it is believed that the German bulletin is mistaken in the identity of the ship mentioned.
 The London Times correspondent at Petrograd believes that the German ships which were sunk were transports. but there is no verification of this re port.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10

At a meeting in New York city the following officers of the United States Football association were elected: John A. Fernley. New Bedford, Mass. presi- dent: Peter !. Peel. Chicago. first vice president: Douglas Stewart. Philadel- phia. second vice president; William n. Love. Pawtucket, k. l.. third vice president: Thomas W. Cahill. New York. secretary, and Archibald Birse, Chicago, treasurer.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10

The Japanese governments policy of military development was approved by the house at an exciting session. By a vote of 232 to 131 the house adopted the provision for an increase in the standing army of two divisions. or about 24,000 men. It then approved the entire budget. including the naval program. which provides for the con. struction of three submarines and eight destroyers.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
NOTICE

The Sewer Assessments for 1915 of the Canaan Fire District are now due for collection. Unpaid bills after Nov. 1, 1915, will be charged 9 per cent. in- Uerest per annum from May l, 1915.
 John,S. Reed Collector.
 North Canaan, Conn.,, June g, l91F.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10

The death of Prince Camille PcS- niglioSi. q member of one of the best known aristOcratic families in Rome. occurred after a long illness. He was born in 1880. Prince Rosp=liosi was commander of the noble guard at the vatican.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
Not Seen Dead.

Mrs. Styles-This paper says eagles and parrots are among the longest lived of the birds. MT. Styles-Come to think of it, I guess that's correct. I never see lem on women's hats."- Yonkers Statesman.
Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10

For the fourth time in his long golf ing career, Walter J. Travis. the Gar den City veteran, won the champion. ship title of the Metropolitan Golf as. sociation on the Apawamis club links at Rye, N. |.