davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
JUSTICE TO PLUMBER.
Writer Calls a Halt on the vener-
able Joke.
skilled Scientist" Is New AppelIatlon
Given Him, and It May Be That
He viii Be Held Deserv-
ing of II.

Time to call halt on the veneer
able joke about the plumber. He is a
skilled scientist, Just as is the sur
geon trained and highly intelligent
artist. The only difference is that
one ministers to a body diseased or
smashed up in some of its essential
parts, and the other ministers to the
larger organism in which a group Of
humans make their home, healing its
diseases so far at least as they have
to do with the circulatory and other
important systems upon which the
health of the whole depends.
For instance: the other day some.
thing went wrong with Smiths house
in its most vital parts. The kitchen
boiler cracked, to be definite. The
symptoms could be interpreted by
anybody, and clearly a major opera
ton was Immediately necessary. The
skilled surgeon was summoned. 1t
was decided that the house should
have a new heart. Also after consul
tation and mature consideration 1t
was determined that certain minor
defects of the circulatory system, as
leaking taps and insufficient valves,
should be patched up and put on the
job again. The cisterns no longer
should murmur.
Alas! The following night Smith
was awakened by the steady drip.
ping of water close by the side Of
his couch. The candle which was
hurriedly procured showed that upon
the ceiling there was a circular patch
OF wetness rapidly gaining in size.
Quizzical Investigations showed that
all seemed to be in order. The ear
applied to walls and floors detected
no gaspings or gurglings. The reser.
voirs seemed to maintain their cor.
rect levels. The telephone emergency
call got from the nearest plumber,
after half hour of rather wild work.
merely the advice-"Tap on the sup.
ply pipe with hammer" That was
not entirely satisfactory, and another
pIumDer was summoned. He meas
ured, calculated and listened. He
finally diagnosed thus: Must be the
supply pipe just before it enters the
top of the reservoir"
And all hands went over to the
house, turned off the supply in the
cellar, drained the cisterns and sought
peace and sleep once more.
In the morning the plumber made
his official call. A brief examination
convinced him that his colleagues
diagnosis of the night before had been
correct. Serious measures being
necessary, he began to pull up floors
and remove baseboards. Thus there
were laid bare the secrets of the an.
atomy Of the house. All the hidden
organs were revealed. Wires and
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
CREDITED TO THE BosToNEsE
Proverbs With Which Most Are Fa-
millar Set Forth Clothed In
New Language.

II upon the initiative attempt sue.
cess eludes your efforts. repeat the
operation ad inflnitum.
It is an exceedingly lengthy byway
that fails to produce some tangible
evidence to prove that its natural ten
denotes point to an apparent longing
to execute a right angle.
When the household feline has tenn
porarily vacated the premises, the
small rodents will undoubtedly take
advantage of her absence to partici-
pate in unseemly gambols common
surate with the joyous occasion.
The operation of conveying a beast
Of burden in the general direction of
the trough containing aqua distilla
may prove to be one of comparative
ease, but the process of inducing the
quadruped to partake of the contents
thereof is often a matter of conjec-
ture, to be determined only by the
avowed inclination of the animal in
question.-Judge.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Fans, PIcnIcs and carnIvaIs.

Aug 31-Sept. Eighth annual reunion
southwestern Blue and Gray Association
Bridgeport
Sept. l-3, Pontotoc County Fair. Ada.
Sept. 10, Binger Fair.
Sept. ITO. Kinghsher County Fair
Kingfsher.
Sept. Sir, ureer County Fair, Mangum
Sept. 9-10 johnston County Fair, fish
omingo.
Sept; l4-l5. woodward County Fair
Sept. H-17, Pittsburg County Fair, Nc
Alester
Sept. 14-17. Cimarron Valley Fair. Guth.
rie.
Sept 14-17-Rogers County Fair, Clare.
more
Sept. 1918, Bryan County Fair. Durant,
Sept. l5-17. Tulsa County Fair, Tulsa.
=, Sept. 1918, The Sterling Fair Ster'
ling.
Sept. 16, Cherokee Celebration. Perry.
:, Sept. 1917, Harmon County Fair, Hol.
Sept. 1917, Kiowa County Fair. Hobart.
Sert. 1918. Cleveland County Fair, Nor
man.
Sept. 1913. Jackson County Fair. Altus
g., Sept. 1918. Lincoln County Fair,
dell
Sept 1918. TilIman County Fair. Fred
erlck.
Sept 1913. Coal County Fair. Coalgate.
Sept 171S, Marshall County Fair, Ma
Sept 1921. Creek County Fair, Sapulpa.
Sept 20-22, Atol:a County Fair, Atosa.
-. Sept 2122, Pottawatomle County Fair,
Shawnee.
Sept 21-23, Peanut Carnival. Duncan.
lett.
Sept 21-24, Beckham County Fair. Elk
Sept 22-2i. Canadian County Fair, Ell
Reno.
Sept 1925. Kiamichl Valley Fair, Tall
hina.
Sent s5. Football, state University VS..
Edmond Norma
SEPT 25-O,.. 2, state Fair, Oklahoma
City
Sept q, Old Soldiers pay, State Fair
Sept 81, Indiana Day. State Fair.
Sept p, Fraterndl Day, State Fair.
Sept 2S, Kentucky Day, State Fair.
Oct. l. Missouri Day. State Fair.
Oct. l, Press Day, state Fair.
Oct, 40, New-State Fair, Muskogee.
Oct. So, Caddo County Fair, nnadarko.
Dec 27-Jan l, Eastern Oklahoma Foul
try Show, Tulsa.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

pipes and traps and mysterious appli-
ances hidden beneath paint and wall
paper acquired a threatening look,
and the observer could not but won
der what might happen If they should
once take possession of the premises
on their own account.
Examination by the master sur
geon, with Mr.. Smith trailing at his
heels, revealed no serious LESSONS nor
fractures. A temporary restoration Of
circulation showed no flaw in the
main arteries. Mr.. Smith in despair
mentioned one or two of the emer-
gency measures of the night before.
the minor adjustments of taps and
valves. The surgeon smiled. Fiji
up the cisterns and wait" he said.
The pipes began to throb. The wa.
ter rose to the customary level. When
the top Of the reservoir filled and
the noise was reduced to the mini
mum, there it was again.
There in the bedroom-"Drip, drip"
1t came again.
The flaw was found at last. 1t was
in the waste or overflow pipe of that
top reservoir. For the seventeenth
time the weary Mr. Smith climbed
to the top of his house. There was
a short spout, perhaps six feet long.
that made the whole trouble.-Boston
Herald.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

In one of the southern states the
negroes are great patrons of a matri-
monial agency. One darby. anxious
to find wife for his son, went to this
agent, who handed him his list of
lady clients. Running through this
the man came upon his own wife's
name, entered as DESTROYS of obtain
ing husband between the ages of
twenty-eight and thirty.
Forgetting about his son. the darby
hurried home to announce his discov-
cry to his wife. She was not at all
disturbed.
Yes" she said. 81 done give him my
name. | puts it down when you was
so sick in de winter and de doctor
says he must prepare for de worst. >
Chicago Journal.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

THAT jitney gave you a mighty
hard bump
81 should say So I'have been laid
up for two weeks"
Good thing you carry accident in
surance."
Yes, but it doesn't get me anything
in this case"
Il should like to know why not?"
81 could see in the ehauffeur's eye
that his hitting me was not going to
be an accident"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Caddo county has approximately
10000 acres of corn this year.
Mrs. Lizzie Snyder of FL Reno, while
on the way from Okeene to Enid. died
on Rock Island train.
An election has been called at We.
leetka to vote 1000 in bonds for a
sanitary sewer system.
Citizens Of the Crusher school dis
trict in Murray County have purchased
a home for their teacher.
Henry Starr has arrived at McAles-
ter to begin his % year term for rob-
bling the banks Of Stroud.
Requests of the Oklahoma county
excise board that the valuation of the
county property be reduced $1,75O,O00
was turned down by the state board of
equalization.
Rev. c. Stubblefeld, who has been
pastor of the First Baptist church at
Ada for the last seven years, has re.
signed his charge and accepted work
with the Baptist university at Shaw.
nee.
A reward of $1,000 is being raised at
Muskogee to stimulate detection, ar
rest and conviction of the Ratchet
liend who is charged with number Of
murders in Muskogee. The unknown
murderer, whose latest victim WIS VIM.
b. Province, has so far eXadeC detec-
ton and the community has become
terror-stricken to the extent that very
few persons venture out upon the
streets of Muskogee unless they have
urgent business to be attended.
The will of L. F. Lee, prominent
contractor, builder and citizen of Ok.
lahoma City, who died July % as the
result of an operation for appendicitis,
was probated in the county court. The
estate is valued at about $4,000.
Governor Williams has offered a re,
ward of 5000 for the arrest and convic.
ton of the murderer of W. b. Province
at Muskogee. Province is believed to
have been killed by homicdal fien1
who has used rusty Ratchet in sew.
eral crimes of this kind.
E. B. Howard, state auditor, has sig,
nified his intention to attend the con.
vention of abstractors of oklahoma TO
be held al McAlester August 26-2S. II
is expected 200 title men from over the
state will be present. T. P. Keator
editor of the Chicago Financial Jour
nal, and d. L. Stoner of Kansas City,
will be among the speakers.
The British steamship West Wales,
laden with approximately $4,000 bush
els of wheat, sailed for Rio de Janelro.
This is the first cargo of wheat to be
sent to Brazil this season.
Three school land appraisers have
commenced work in Tillman county
appraising the school lands prelimin.
airy to the sale of the lands by the
school land commission in December.
81 never saw such fine corn and kafir
Us is growing in the southern Okla.
homa counties this year." said w. ID.
Matthews, state commissioner of char
tiles. "In Jefferson county and around
Lawton are the crops especially prom
Using. The cotton also has a bright
outlook for this time of the year and
one of the best yields for many years.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
A ForIorn Hone,

"Mr. Corncobbe, dare say your son
has learned great many things at
college,"
Eyes. He's larnt how ter yell, how
ter dance, how ter play football an
baseball, how ter set in a stiff game
Of poker an has other accomplish
ments | haven't been able ter classify
yet, but hope ter find among 'em
what I'm looking for"
"And what is that?"
Something that will help him ter
get more out of an acre Of land than
I've ever been able ter get"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Canning Hint.

Asbestos cones will be found inval-
liable to the open.air camper. Roll a
sheet of asbestos in cone shape and set
the small end securely in the camp
fire. In it may be baked apples. po-
tatoes and many other things. A good
sized cone will take the place of sew
eral cooking tensils.-McCalrs Maya
Z.ne,
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
OKLAHOMA NEWS NOTES
SHADOWS OF COMING EVENTS.

Aug.S0-31, Schools land sale, Alva.
Sept. lilo. School land sale. Cherokee.
Sept. 11-22, School land sale. Enid.
Sept. 22-Oct. 7. School laid sale, Med
Oct. 9-12, School land sale, Newkirk.
Oct. 1875, School land sale. Perry.
Nov. 25-27-StaIe Educal ional Associa-
tion, Oklahoma City.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

The water swept inland in places q
distance of at least twenty miles over
the low mainland Of Texas. The hur-
rircane rolled houses over like tops,
deposited vessels in farm fields and
drowned large numbers Of valuable
animals The damage reached many
millions of dollars.
+ r. +
The total missing and known dead
from an area one hundred miles wide
along the Texas coast, extending on
both sides of Galveston, is 1913, with
the known dead less than one hun.
bred, as a result of the recent hurri-
cane. t..
Damage which will run into millions
of dollars has been done to the cotton
crop in Texas by the recent Gulf
storms. Reports from towns in Cen
trail Texas say that cotton open in the
bolls has blown out of the bolls and
been beaten into the ground by the
heavy rains.
n n n
Though only one person, negro,
lost his life, Houston, Tex, has sus-
tanned a loss estimated at from two
to five million dollars in the worst
tropical storm in the history of the
Texas coast
:. r. +
Leo NJ. Frank, convicted of the muir
der Of Mary Phagan at Atlanta, Ca,
and sentenced to life imprisonment,
was taken from the state prison farm
at Milledgeville, and lynched one
night recently. Officers are after the
mob.
Five persons persisted and damage
of million dollars was wrought by
terrific gulf storm that swept Calves
ton, Tex, recently. Many other coast
towns in Texas suffered heavy dam
age. Water ran five to ten feet deep
in many streets.
+ l. +
Capt. George II. Knox Of the First
Aero Squadron, U. S. A., was killed
and Lieut. r. B. Sutton, his aide, was
probably fatally injured when an aero.
plane in which they were flying fell
five hundred feet at Fort Sill, Ok. The
officers had feared that the various
currents of air existing at and near
the Wichita mountains might make
aeroplaning dangerous there.
+ r. T.
Representatives of nearly two hun
dred American manufacturers will
meet in Chicago soon to consider
forming permanent organization for
the promotion of export trade to Rus
STA. The call for the meeting was is.
sued by A. S. Postnikoff OF Chicago
r. r. l.
The supreme court of Colorado has
issued a writ of prohibition, barring
Judge Grandy Hillyer from presiding
at future trials resulting from disor.
ders in the recent strike of coal
miners.
+ + j.
Reports reaching army headquar-
tiers at San Antonio, Tex from places
in the Rio Grande Valley indicate that
many MeXicans have been killed as a
result of the recent bandit raids in
that section. and declare there is no
way of estimating the number. The
reports indicate that several hundred
have been killed
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Wasn't on the Map,

Little Lemuel-Say, paw, what state
is EGigy in?
Paw-Effigy! Why, don't believe
ever heard of such town, son.
Little Lemuel-Well, was just
reading about man who was hanged
in effigy, and l can't find it on the
map.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Wrote Famous Work.

Karl Friedrich Glasenapp, the IA
nous biographer of Richard Wagner.
recently died at Riga, Russia. The
Glasenapp'Wagner biography, pub.
lished in 1876, remains the most ex-
tensive work on the life of the great
composer.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
An Honest Confession.

81 suppose you will be out again
tonight" remarked Pokertons wife
somewhat sarcastically.
81 am sure" he admitted, unless
hold better hands than l did last
night"
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Another ueLdCHln6HJ Ol AluSIlCdu
marines has been landed from the war
ships at Haiti. The rebels have re-
fused to disarm and in some sections
have expressed desire to fight the
Americans.
r. T. +
A citizen of a neutral state who has
Just made a tour through Germany
gives an account of the work of the
German chemists in discovering a
substitute for cotton as basis for
high explosives. This is found in the
shape of ordinary wood pulp.
T. + ~
The French Chamber of Deputies
has passed a bill carrying an apprO.
priation of 1870 million francs GA mil
lion dollars) to be used in the pur.
chase of wheat and flour for feeding
the civil population.
1, T. -
Much concern is expressed at the
diminishing birth rate of Berlin. The
statistical department has just issued
tables which show that the war has
begun to tell and has still further &C.
centuated the downward curve which
grew perceptible in 1913. From 1910
to 1914 the births for the five years
numbered 1880, 44,S52, 1926, 42,5Ol
and 39,O53.
:: + +
There are no fewer than two thou.
sand Americans in the ranks of the
Canadian military contingent, SAID
Mai. Gen. Samuel Hughes, Canadian
minister of militia, at a meeting OF
Americans held in London recently.
T. T. T.
Several deaths have been caused at
various points in Spain by heat
wave of unusual intensity, The TEN
perature rose to 1873 degrees Fahren
heit in the sun at Seville, and los al
Madrid.
+ + +
General Carranza summarily dis
missed the mayor of Vera Cruz from
office for permitting the recent anti
foreign demonstrations which aroused
apprehension of the American govern
ment.
+ T. +
Leading German newspapers arr
making strong bid for the entry o
Spain into the war on the side of tn,
Teutonic allies. The Kreuz Zeitung
| Al.
lished in Berlin, extends an Outspokel
invitation to Spain, pointing out tn
tremendous moral and material re
suits which would be gained
r r +
Swiss newspapers announce tina
Pope Benedict has decided to convok
grand consistory at the end of Sci
TENDER, at which he will make fres
efforts to bring about peace in Europe
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

When the time is noon in London
Berlin records 1884 p. m.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Submarines for naval purposes were
first developed by France
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

A close friend is one who won't
lend you money.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Berlin and Vienna have each pop
ulation exceeding 100000.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

The thread of the silkworm is one
thousandth of an inch in diameter.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Washington.

American fashions for American
beauties This is the watchword
which will be sounded from coast to
coast by the Daughters of the Ameri-
can Revolution. Congress will be
asked at its next session to appropri-
ate money to establish a fashion cen
ter with a suitable building in Wash.
ington.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Five persons persisted and damage
of million dollars was wrought by
terrific gulf storm that swept Calves
ton, Tex, recently. Many other coast
towns in Texas suffered heavy dam
age. Water ran five to ten feet deep
in many streets.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Domestic.

Twelve soldiers were killed at Texas
City in the terrific storm when the
Thompson Building, a new three-story
structure, collapsed. Eight were
killed by falling brick, while four
drowned later About forty civilians,
many of them women and children,
also lost their lives.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

President Wilson has appointed
Samuel Alschuler to be a circuit judge
for the federal circuit of Chicago. The
President also appointed W. w. Rus
sell to be minister of Santo Domingo,
succeeding former Minister James NJ.
Sullivan of New York, and William l..
Whitney to\be a federal circuit judge
in Hawaii
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27
Foreign.

Another detachment of American
marines has been landed from the war
ships at Haiti. The rebels have re-
fused to disarm and in some sections
have expressed desire to fight the
Americans.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

General Carranza summarily dis
missed the mayor of Vera Cruz from
office for permitting the recent anti
foreign demonstrations which aroused
apprehension of the American govern
ment.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Leo NJ. Frank, convicted of the MUIR
der of Mary Phagan at Atlanta, Ga,
and sentenced to life imprisonment,
was taken from the state prison farm
at Milledgeville, and lynched one
night recently. Officers are after the
mob.
The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-08-27

Swiss newspapers announce thai
Pope Benedict has decided to convoke
q grand consistory at the end of Sep
TENDER, at which he will make fresh
efforts to bring about peace in Europe
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-03-19

A New York Stock Exchanges seat was posted for exchange for a, con- sideratfon of $44,e0e, the same price as the last previous sale.
 Emperor William and General von E'aIkenhayn, Chief of the German Staff. arrived at the German head quarter near Lille, France.
 The Town Council of Nuren1burg Germany, decided to take for public use all stocks of flour! exceeding 50 pounds, found in private houses
 An earthquake shock, lasting four minutes, was felt at Perpugnan, a French town at the eastern end of the Pyrenees. No damage was done.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-03-19
CLERGYhTEN OF ALL
 FAITHS AT BROTHER
 ANTHONY,S REQUIEM

New York; March 1s-serv4ces were conducted in St. Patrick s Cathedral yesterday for the Rev. Brother Anthony, vino was president emeritus of Manhattan college and one of the best known Catholic edu- reQuiem mass was sung by the Very epf's seminary. Father Chidw1ck was assisted by the Rev. Thomas A. Thornton. as deacon, and the Rev. William Norris. as sub-deacon. The Rev. John J. Byrne acted as master of ceremonies, and the eulogy was delivered by Mgr. Michael J. Lavelle- Cardinal Farley pronounced the afb- solution
 The honorary palIbearers were Justice Victor J. Bowling Of the ap- pelIate division of tine supreme court; Senator James A. O'Gorman, Thos M. MuIry, Dr. Jose M. Ferrer, John F. Brennan, John F. Cross. Peter Hendrick and Justice Daniel F. Coha- Ian of the supreme court
 Delegations of teachers and stu dents from the C1aSon Point Military a,cad enny, De La SalIe institute, Man hattan college. Holy Cross school, the Catholic school and representatives Of many Catholic organizations attended the funeral. Brother Anthony join ed the order of the Christian Brothers in 1858- He was William W. Byrnes and was born in Rochester, N. Y. He died in St. Vincent's hospital, Sun day.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1915-03-19
''I MUST BE LIKE A KING IN 4 BUSTED
 FLUSH" J. I. SAYS
Tells Members of Republican Club What the Newspapers
 Say About Him

John T. King, ruler of the Repubn- can party in Bridgeport, endeavored to reply to what he considers news paper criticism of himself and his po- 1tical methods at a dinner given by the Ninth District Republican club last night. MT. King, who was the princi- pal speaker at the dinner, in opening his remarks said that Judging from his introduction and from what the newspapers had said about him, he must look like a liking in busted flush
 MT. King defended the extravagant policies of the Republican admintstra- tion of the last three years and prom ised that a statement of what has been accomplished by this adn1in1stra- tion will~ soon be forthcoming. MT. King said that the administration would have to go slowly for the next year, however. because the tax rate is already too high for the man who owns a small home and because the manufacturers are paying all the taxes they can afford to.
 He advocated more bonding for flu ture public Improvements and said 1t direct taxation. He said politicians are the only men fitted by training for positions of public trust because no one could hand them lemon
 In Connecticut" he said, i've have the highest standard of judges both in the Supreme and Superior courts In the history. of the state there he's nev- CT been any scandal that affected our 1 judges. This is a wonderful record, yet there isn't a man sitting on the Supreme or Superior court benches who was put there by the influence of his political friends. All have been appointed at the befest or request of
 men active in either the Republican or the Democratic parties.''
 Alderman William D. Primrose was toastmaster. Among the guests were
 Mayor Wilson, City Clerk Robinson, Judge of Probate Paul L. Miller, Po- lice Commissioner George s. Hill and Fire Commissioner John A. Leonard