davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31

Then. when they began to under
stand. 10 some slight extent the mag
snitude ana awfulness OF this war,
would say to them
.' Now. 20, back and appreciate the
United States; realize your opportuni-
ties. Don't start digging trenches
when nobody ia firing at you. Don't
fall down when you have not been
hit. Don't be blind TO the most glori-
Gus chance you have ever had in your
life.
eco back and advertise. Get ready
for the most tremendous boom that
any nation ever had. Build your fac
tories bigger. Train more statesmen.
Borrow more money. Go ahead and
thank God you are alive and that your
family is alive, and that you are living
in land that is at peace, at time
when nearly the whole world is at
war
"All of which is very good advice"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Luke McLuke SAYS:

Nine times out of ten the man who
has black eye got it by butting In.
After looking at the tango as it is
tangoed fellow often longs for the
good old days OF the dignified turkey
trot.
The rest OF the world may regard a
man as wise. But his wife knows that
he is fool.
Why isn't 1t as easy to go to sleep
when 1t is bedtime as it Is when it is
time to get up?
There are all sorts OF liars in the
world, including the man who says he
isn't afraid OF his wife
Two men can admire the same OBJ
ject and get along all right unless the
object happens to wear skirts.
Many n square man has n son who
is n rounder.
Some people don't know the differ
ence between what they think they
know and what they know they think.
When a chemical blond marries a
man who dyes his mustache neither
party has any kick coming.
An old fashioned man can't under.
stand why it is proper to wash your
uduuS at tne L2Dle Vnen you get
through eating and why 1t is a sin to
pick your teeth.
II people had to advertise their mis-
takes there wouldn't be any room for
news in the newspapers.
When you stop to think that other
men are measured almost solely by
their faults you will have to admit
that they make mighty good show
ing.
A woman gets lots Of exercise jump
ing at conclusions every ten minutes.
But 1t doesn't seem to keep her from
getting fat
This is a mean old world There is
more joy over one good man who goes
wrong than there is over ten bad men
who reform.
Any gambler knows that you can't
lose all the time. Even the weather
forecast is correct once in awhile.
They say that wealth does not bring
happiness, and maybe that's the reason
why we are all SO busy trying to make
other people happy by separating them
from their coin.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Entertain Knights
Of Pythias Officers

Chancellor Commander Rolla j.
Conley of Mountain City Lodge No.
4S, Knights of Pythias, entertained
the officers, trustees and some of the
degree team members of the lodge
last evening at a supper and smoker
given at the lodge rooms on Main
street.
At the meeting, plans were laid for
increased activities of the local lodge
which is at the present time trying to
retain possession of the loving cup
won last year for having the largest
per cent. of increase of any lodge in
the United States.
The lodge will probably inauguratc
new membership Campaign in the
near future.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Marriage.

Marriage.
voltaire. in his philosophical Die
tionary," says: The moro married
men you have the fewer crimes there
will be. Examine the frightful coll
umns Of your criminal calendar; you
will find there q hundred youths exc
outed to one father of q family. Mar
rage renders men more virtuous and
more wise. The father OF a family 10
not willing to blush for his children;
he is afraid to make shame their In
heritance."
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Bis d BypIay
BY Luke McLuke
-
Copyright. 1915. she o,ao,nz1As,
Enquirer
BY Luke McLuke

Proof.
1t was the rush hour in the cafeteria,
enc of those quick lunch places where
you help yourself and grab chair and
use the arm OF the chair AZ table. A
rushed feeder grabbed slice OF pie
and COPIED out a chair. Then he re-
membered that he needed coffee and
he dashed over to the service counter.
When he returned with his coffee his
chair was occupied by another hurryup
diner.
Excuse me-" said the first man, ..but
that is my chair"
How do you know It Is your chair?"
demanded the occupant In surly tone.
Because I can prove It," stated the
flrst man.
How can you prove itg' asked the
occupant.
by the seat OF your pants" was, the
reply. You are sitting on my pie"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
The Bsston Idea.

me 6o1eon tdoas 50
$50 you come from New York; said
an English lady TO "a travelling Ameri-
can. "I supposed, OF course, you cams
from Boston"
"why did you think thata' Inquired
the New York lady.
Because I supposed an cultured, In
telligent Americans came from BoR-
son"
But what in the world made you
think thatr' was the natural question
"oh, don't know exactly. I think
It was Boston Indy who told me. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Had L Eiaured Out.

The attention of the tourist in north
ern France was attracted to the fol-
lowing notice: Pasture your horses
here. Short.tailed horses, fifteen
cents a day" On inquiring about
the difference OF price, the farmer
remarked that anyone ought to know
that, and explained that short.tailed
horse, had to chase the flies with
his head, and while he did so he
could not eat, while long tailed one,
not being thus handicapped, naturally
ate great deal more.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31

I. NEW YORK, March s1.-Miss
Augustine Otter. stewardess on q
French steamship has lost three sue
cessive frances in the war, and now
asserts her next choice must be a
neutral.
Miss otter was engaged to be mar
ried when the war started but her
dance was killed in his first engage.
ment. Then she met a reservist and
ebcame betrothed 10 him. He was
killed IN. the trenches. The third
lance was petty officer who died
leading q charge ON the Aisne.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Taking Mo chanesa,

Taking No Chances.
Dear Luke read your column ev-
cry day. and have pictured Luke in
my minds eye as something good to
look upon. So I have no anxiety to
see him lest my dream be shattered.
He may be something that looks like
cartoon l have seen on predigested
foods.-A Corn Fed, Holland, Tex.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Put Off the Old
Put On the New

Easter bells viii soon ring out
the fact that Spring is here and
will soon be wearing her flower
bedecked garments.
Apropos of Newness: OBJ
servant people are commenting
on the improvement of our milf
merry section. New standards Of
service, new ideas of quality.
The display Of pretty Hats in this
department during the last two
weeks proved the fact that this
store has the best assortments Of
really distinctive millinery.
Perhaps you haven't selected
yet. And it is only four days I'M
til Easter. You will find
Dozens of Hats at S2.9s
Dozens of Hats at $500
Dozens of Hats at $3.50
Dozens of Hats at $3.50
to $3.50.
And you have the assurance
that the styles are absolutely cor
rect and no matter what your.
Easter costume, you will find d
hat to harmonic with it.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Thinas to Werry About

The average woman has between for
ty and fifty miles of hair on her head.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Some Love Lacking.

Helen was playing on the porch.
where she spied a white moth and
asked her mother to kill It. Her moth
er said. But, Helen. you ought to
love the poor little moth" 'T do love
It, mother. but don't love It enough
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
STATEMENT OF THE OWNERSHIP, MANAGEMENT, clRcuLAT

STATEMENT OWNERSHIP, MANAGEMENT, CIRCULATION
W. Va required by Ac OF
toIEIhis statement
third
c,
NAME OF PoSToFFICE ADDRESS
Vacant
Business Manager. w wege w.
fu9lsher The Fairmont Printing Publishing
Owners; or corpoaon give
of
w j. Wiegel H Rownd T. Cunningham
T. s Coch-
rane NJ Brownfeld A L.
w. o - "' -""AAs'on'
curites " ee00' - fNt 90
Of
ID required from daily
(Signed) w. j.
sworn to and subscribed before this
C. R. HALL
PRESENT CIRCULATION 300
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Cheer Up!

They were divorced year ago.
Their shattered lives were barred,
But they've made up again and SO
They want to be repaired.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
You Know H;r,

His life was one long round of stalls.
And worries lined his brow,
And yet the notices on his walls
Read this way: DO It Sow!'
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31

month ago for neerIy ten years. Mercy,
sed Missus Mace, for WHAT
For killing q life insurance agent
pa sed, & / Iexpec to so rite back.
Then Mister & Ielssus Mace went
hoam q. 20 + 81 n
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Tutt.TuttI

TUTT-TUTT.-Marrie in the parson-
age of the Lake Avenue Methodist church.
James F. Tut OF Cincinnati and Miss
Alta Tut OF Cleveland. Louisville papers
please copy.-Cleveland Press
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Dust.

He Is quito rich, understand,
He never asks for trust:
He Is a carpet beater and
Can always raise the dust.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
GiddanI

Tho mule may seem real slow, but, Gee.
He does as he Ia bid
His spark plug never fails and he
Is never known to skid
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Mali.

Said Mrs. Pell. This DR.. Slaughter
Is spending money Just like water"
Then II he does" said Mr.. Pell,
He doesn't get It from the WE'LL
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Fair WarninoI

Eat one OF our famous pies and Won
viii never eat anything else. The Gem.
-Ad. in Newspaper.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Paw Knows EverytIino

Paw Knows Everything.
Willie-Paw, what are parts q
speech?
Paw-Hyphens, my son.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Our Daily sn.nial

Never tnlk unless you have some
thing to say.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-03-31
Names Is Name

Names Is Names.
Miss Wava Hood lives in Cadillac.
Mich.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
Louisville Snake Story.

Louisville. KY. May 13.-James
F. MCGEE. former cashier of the
Crestwood (Ky } Bank got the scare
of his life and suffered a shock which
necessitsted calling physician when
he found a six foot Georgia Bull"
snake crawling about his bed in his
room in a loo i hotel.
Thinking a friend was playing a
joke on him MCGEE grabbed the
snake, when the reptile began to show
fight and put up hard battle,
Clerks and attaches of the hotel came
to his rescue
A clerk a. the hotel said the snake
belonged to vaudeville performer
VIII Sc loom was directly above thai
of McGee's.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
HABIT OF LETTER WRITING
One of the Best That Can Be Acquired
and Is One That Makes
Friends.

Don't get into the habit of saying
that you hate to write letters Many
friendship has been broken by neglect.
ing to answer letters.
Letter writing is decidedly not q
forte with some women-they think
it bore, and keep their correspond
ence as far as possible within the very
narrowest limits, Others don't trou-
BILE even to answer letters when they
get them.
"Oh! you know I'm a wretched cor
respondent" they will say in excuse.
The woman who can talk on paper
TO the person to whom she is writing.
almost in the same way and with the
same fiuency as she would talk to her
were they together in the same room.
is by far the most successful letter
writer.
A good correspondent nearly always
writes as she speaks.
It is one of the unwritten laws OF
etiquette not to begin letter with
the pronoun 81"
This is always a point which should
be remembered in letter writing.
1t is always a wise plan to answer
letters within few days. In this way
there is no danger of your laying them
aside and forgetting them. This is
especially important where invitations
are concerned.-Camden Daily Cour.
Ter
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
Health Promotes Happiness.

Without health, genuine joy is i'm.
possible; without good digestion and
regular DO vel movement you cannot
have health. Why neglect keeping
bowels open and risk being sick and
ailing? You don't have to. Take
one small DR.. Kings New Life Pill
at night, 10 the morning you will
have full. free bowel movement
and feel much better. Helps your
and digestion. Try one to-
night. Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18

Ideal Beverages to Be Served at Card
Party or Other Informal En-
tertainment.

To serve between games at card
party, try iced coffee or chocolate.
For the coffee, make enough Of what
is known as clear black afterdinner
coffee to all at least two wine or
sherbet glasses for each guest. Sweet
en- this while it is hot and set aside
to cool Then pour 1t into large
bottle or pitcher and set In a pail or
deep kettle, packing ice around II.
When ready to serve pour into
glasses three-quarters full and heap
on top either sweetened and whipped
cream, or a tablespoonful of Ice
cream.
Iced chocolate.-Melt two squares
Of chocolate in a double boiler and
add a cupful of graduated sugar and
a cupful of water. Let this mixture
cook from the fire. add a teaspoonful
OF vanilla ana set away to chill in a
pitcher When ready. to serve half fill
large mixing glass with chopped ice,
add two tablespoonfuls of the choco-
late strip, fill up the glass with good
sweet milk, cover with shaker and
shake thoroughly. strain into glasses
and put whipped cream on top of each.
Do not mix more than a large glass
of this at a time. 1t will make three
small glasses. This method Is much
better than boiling the chocolate and
milk and then chilling, which usually
forms a sediment
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
THOUGHT HIM A PREACHER
American Diplomat Victim Of an
Amusing Mistake in the Yosem-
lite Valley.

Madame Recommendations
author of the book, THE Sunny Side
of Diplomatic Life" tells of an Incl
dent that happened when she and her
husband-then Danish minister to the
United States-were travelling in the
West. They were spending Sunday in
the Yosemite valley, when immedi-
ately after breakfast a man knocked
at their door and with huns and ,haws
said he had been sent to ask Mr..
Observation-Disclosures If he would
read the prayers and preach sermon
in the drawing-room of the hotel, "it
being Sunday and you being minis
ter" j. was little aghast. not ex-
actly understanding, while / was shak-
ing with laughter at the other end of
the room, and would not have inter-
fered for worlds for fear of losing
word of the dialogue.
81 read the gospel!' cried j.
Eyes. sir. You're minister. amt
yer?'
"Well. yes. l am. but not the kind
you mean
"The little man said. condescending-
ly: We are not particular as to sect.
Whether you're a Baptist or Metho-
dist, 1t makes no difference as long as
you will preach
~. had difficulty in explaining in
his best English that preaching was
not a specially Of his"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
Saved BY Music.

F. M Lassetter. officer of Scot
fish regiment. who was wounded
ear y 10 the war and had been on a
voyage 70 Iecuperate. was saved
with his mother. by the saloon grand
piano of the Lusiiania, on which they
fioated for three hours.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
DIR. BEAZLEY
Specialist
(Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat. }
Not a Full Explanation.

The manifestation called heat Is
with humans and most other animals
a. sensation indescribable. From the
time of Democritus and Epicurus. and
far back of that, the mystery OF the
source OF heat was hotly discussed.
AS time dew on and on the mystery
was segregated into learned words.
and Sir Humphry Dayy explained Il
all by saying that heat was merely the
vibration OF corpuscles Of the body.
He did not tell OF the origin OF the
corpuscles or why they vibrated.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
Germany's Excuse.

German naval circles express sur
prise at the rapidity with which the
steamer Lusitsnia sank. They assum-
ed the vessel was of modern con-
struction and with alright compart-
ments arranged as were the Lusi-
tanis's. she should have kept afl at
three or four hours. giving time for
saving all the passengers. Some nav
al experts express the opinion that
the vessels rapid sinking was due to
an explosion of ammunition in her
cargo.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
Wreaths for the vIetors.

In classic times successful warriors.
athletes. poets and singers were some
times crowned with bay. II is some
times written that they were crowned
with myrtle wreaths. These leaves
came from a tree which botanists call
Taurus nobills."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
Guide for Daily Life.

: Know what you want to do. hold
the s<hought firmly. and do every day
whd should be done. and every sun
set win see you that much nearer the
goalr
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18

Never can tell when you'll mash a
finger or suffer a cut. bruise. burn
or seald. Be prepared. Thousands
rely on DIR. Thomss' EIectic Oil
Your druggist sells II. 25c and soc.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18

Constipation causes h a1sche, in
digestion, dizzine:s. droHsiness. F r
a mild, opening medicine. use Doan's
ReQulets. 25c box at all stores.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1915-05-18
|. . & n .
Time Card
Effective Friday. Apr. 2. 1915.
TRAINS GOING SOUTH.


TRAINS GOING SOUTH.
No. SC. & N. o. Lin. l1.56 p. n
No. 5l--St. L. Express 5:29 p. NJ.
No. 95-Dixie Flyer 9:35 a. m.
No. 55-Hopkinsville Ar. 700. a. m
No. 5S-St. L. Fast Mail 5:24 a. n
TRAINS GOING NORTH.
No. &C. & St. L. Linn, 5:29 a. m
No. 52-St. Louis Express. 9:55 a. m
No. 94-Dixie Flyer. 7;08 p. m.
No. 56-Hopkinsville Ac. 8:55 p. N
No. 54-St. L. Fast Mail 1915 D. m
No. 81 connects at Guthrie for Memphis AZ
points as far south as Erin and for LouisviIls
Cincinnati and the East.
Sos So and So make direct connections at Guth,
RE for Louisville Cincinnati and all points north
and east thereof.
No. % carries through sleepers to Atlanta. hs
con. Jacksonville. st. Augustine and Tampa. Fh
Also Pullman Lserers TO New Orleans Connect
at Guthrie for points East and West No. % vi
not carry local passengers for points north
Nashville. Tenn.
&c. HOOE. A0t.
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

Following the extension of the war tax period by congress some days ago, the signal corps have received official notification that the tax of one cent on all telegrams will continue In force during 1916. As Uncle Sam needs the money. all persons sending messages will, therefore, be mulcted one cent in addition to the regular telegram tolls. It Is the law and we will all have to come through if we wish to do business with the telegraph system.
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

Tickets for the Aksala carnival are now on sale at the following business houses; HilPs Pharmacy. Rose Candy Kitchen, Lomen Bros. Drug Store anu the Bessie store. They can also be purchased from street sellers. The committee offers ten per cent of all sales to the youngsters or others who wish to sell tickets. The only condi- tion Is that the party must sell not less than ten tickets.
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

Ptarmigan are commencing to reap pear on the streets again in considera ble numbers indicating that the recent The native hunters still state that they are none to plentiful in the hills and it Is necessary to go a considerable distance to find them. As one abori- zion expressively put 1t Him catchum, long time ago."
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

The Million Dollar Mystery scored another success at the Dream last nigh standing room only being available. To- night. the tenth episode "Shanghied," and two supporting numbers will be shown. Friday and Saturday, holiday features will be exhibited-Friday, King Renee's Daughter" a superb photo play in two parts. Saturday, "A Winters Tale,' the most magnificent
 .4 R,fa5,.l. .Shakespearian picture ever made-a three par tfeature em- bracinga a cast of over five hundred people. A Christmas night with the Bard of Avon. Usual prices.
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

A total of sixteen guesses as to the missing words in the carnival an- nouncement Boost ........ ......... Boost" Of this total nine were fil ed in with the traditional accompani- ment of profane tenor while the re- mainder were made up of the follow. ing: Alaska carnival. Nome carnival the carnival, always boost. Don't knock, boost everybody, and all boost None of them were right, however sc the contest will continue from day tc day until some one gets 1t right
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

Crowley's. In this connection 1t may be well to warn drivers of teams that hcrses are usually heightened by the sight of reindeer and team drivers would do well to keep a careful eye on their animals while the reindeer team is passing through the streets.
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23
NEWS NOTES

Jack Ohrem returned to the scene of his operations on Dexter hill this morn ing. accompanied by Pete Brandt. who will probably return this afternoon. Ohrem Is about 10 start new shaft on the Kathleen claim for the purpose of aiding operation in the frozen sec tions of the claim
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

The Christmas program of the Sun day school of the Federated church will be given Friday evening, begin ming al s o'clock instead of 730 as announced A picture program. visit by Santa Claus. and a social hour are to be enjoyed
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

Santa Claus will make his first ap- pearance in Nome this year tomorrow afternoon at 2:30 and will make a tour of the main streets before pro- ceeding to his headquarters at Crow leys store where he will be pleased to meet and greet all Nomo's little folks
 Old Santa will be brought to town by his original reindeer team which will also carry him on his journey through the bureau of education building on Steadman avenue and will proceed along Third avenue to D street, thence to First avenue and Front street to
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

Interest in the Boschen cup race is becoming daily greater and the owners of fast stock are all more or less busy getting their animals in shape for the speedy contest scheduled for carnival day, Ross, Riley and others are rap idly bringing their dogs into excellent form and several very speedy tryouts have taken place already. One of the teams Is reported to be running very close to the record already and there Is every indication that the record will be seriously jeopardized if not broken if the trails are in as good shape as at present. Grant Jackson Is reported to have a team of pups that are dis playing considerable speed but as they
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

All parties needing coal before next week will do well to send in theiI order tonight or tomorrow as the coa office will be closed all day Saturday
The Nome daily nugget., 1915-12-23

The first outside mau arrived at the postofflce about noon today. The con- signment consisted of close to three hundred pounds of all classes.