Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1915-05-20
HEARD ON THE STREET
.

It's long way to wet territory,
It's a long way to go.
It's a long way to wet territory,
To the suds joint that | know;
Goodbye old town, I'm going,
II Anywhere but here.
It's a long, long way across the desert
But l must have beer.
H Leroy township has been infested
with wood peckers here lately. Some
people lowed il was the tax payers
! knockin, on the sewer being put in.
The man who has just bought a
second hand automobile has no war
rant for urging this country to go to
war III order to find more trouble.
| Jake Meyer says he can't under
stand why mover wagons are mark
ed oklahoma or Bust" when they
are already busted, or they wouldn't
be going to Oklahoma.
! A slight earthquake was felt in the
vicinity last Saturday night. The on
ly serious damage done was in West
Audubon where it shook bottle of
Peruna OFF the clock shelf.
When the Piety Hill husband sue
ceeded in finding all his own clothes
and fixing his own tub Sunday morn
ing without help, the hen had moth
ing on him for advertising pual-
tiles.
! One of our recent benedicts who
promised in a careless moment to
love, honor and cherish" the woman
of his choice. has awakened with a
cold shock to find that this also in
cludes paying for her hats.
II has just been discovered thai
Audubon has at least one perfect
husband for he is man who knows
that mother bought her pies at the
bakery, too, and that she liked be-
coming dresses as well as his wife
does.
| Considerable excitement was caus-
ed Friday evening at what those on
South Park street thought was the
! bursting of tire on Leola Sweeps
Ford. But it proved to be the ex-
plOsion of a can of tomatoes in one of
the grocery stores.
! Some of the timorous ones are of
the opinion that advocates of war in
/ this country would not be so siren
uous to reach a recruiting Office il
war should be declared. There need
be no worry on that score. Enlist
ments will be easy if the need arise
One of the last articles written by
Ebert Hubbard was under the title,
who Lifted the Lid Off of HELP"
II Hubbard could come back now
for a little while the chances are
strong that he could give a more con-
| elusive answer than he did when the
article was written.
/ A couple of impudent and uninvit-
ed guests helped themselves to jar
of potato salad at the Freshmen pic
mic near Hamlin Monday evening.
The girls didn't like it very well and
swore vengeance when the culprits
were apprehended. The loss of the
salad caused a shortage in rations
| for the picnicers.
Several enthusiastic Audubon fish
ermen went to the Botna the other
day to try their luck hooking the
finny tribe. On their return home
they informed friends they caught
the fish so fast they were compelled
to get behind trees to bait their fish
hooks. Strange to relate, however,
no one saw the string of fish.
The Sweet Sixteen Club met Mon
day evening and after a heated dis
cussion of Bertha M. Clay's last novel
vote was taken on the most popular
book of the day. OF the twenty-seven
members present the poll showed
Married in Haste" IL; LENA Riv-
ers," Z; Tempest and Sunshine"
5; "The Brass Bowl" 2; and 1.-The
Wondering Jew" L. The Club will
not meet again until next fall.