The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1915-05-29
GAY did you ever get ready and
move into q new apartment?


move into a new apartment?
Take it from me it's an occupa-
ton that makes the burning Of Rome
look like an e~lection-night bonfire.
I'm going to talk harshly about 1t
some day when / recover the use of
three fingers, disfranchised by the un-
expected closing Of. a folding door
which had previously refused to fold.
However, here we are in the "cozy
little nest" that Peaches sopranoed
so c~anaryishly for many weeks before
we finally few up into this tenement
tree.
Now that we are in "the nest" she
sings a different tune. poor girl, be-
cause she finds 1t mighty hard to hit
a high G of joy when she has to put in
eighteen hours a day waiting for the
dumb-waiter to be fixed, and the hot
water to be turned on, and the knob
introduced to the dining room door,
and all the other thousand and one
prediction promises, SO earnestly
given and so eagerly unkept.
Now we come to the plot of the
piece.
Peaches invited a few friends to a
house-warming dinner and an hour
after they had vociferously accepted
our cook got mad becauses he found
out the Persian rug on her boudoir
floor was made in New Jersey and
OUTLET us fiat with q bunch of
friends on our hands who had already
onna IN frain4no for n IOn1 hoovu
feed; catch as catch an, strangle-hold
barred, but go to the mat with every
thing from CLAIMS to the printers
name.
For twenty-four hours Peaches
spent her time hurrying between the
intelligence Offices and the depths of
despair, and that dinner party began
to look like cold turkey.
And the mex day, Just as l was
about to send out the S. o. S. signals,
a tramp cook arrived with the milk
man, prepared to pour oil on our trou-
bled kitchen stove.
The name of the new cook was
Helga. She was half Swede and half
deaf.
Peaches asked her for recommends
tons, and Helga said that her only
recommendation was her face, but
that she tripped the night before and
broke it just above the chin.
Peaches engaged her-what else
could she do with kind and loving
friends eager to exercise our silver
ware and gurgling their hunger at our
outer walls?
Helga was shown to her room. She
kicked a little because there wasn't a
Southern exposure. but subsidized when
Peaches promised her a bunch of fresh
cut flowers every morning. Then the
procession started for the kitchen,
hating for a moment in the buffers
pantry so that Helga could inform her
self as to whether we voted the Pro
hibition or Progressive ticket.
Helga discovered four bottles of
beer coyly reposing IN the ice in the
refrigerator, ~whereupon her face be-
came lighted up with the joys of an
ticipation and she rushed out and
embraced the gas stove.
When, later on. Peaches Joined me
in the front room she looked woe-be-
gone and frightened. Its an awful
risk" she sighed; 81 feel that the
friendship of years may be interrupted
because we have a new and uncertain
cook in the kitchen-do o get me,
Jchn?"
Sure" l said; "but what are we
going to do about it, Kid? It's too late
to cancel your bookings now. These
friends of ours have been saving up
their hunger for three days. We can't
send them a buttered biscuit on a
postal card and pass them up. Let's
go through with it and hope for the
best-maybe Helga is a good cook"
I'm afraid not, john" Peaches
moaded. "She picked up a bowl of
radishes just now and said she
thought strawberries were out of sea-