The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-02-06


but was waiting. shall wait no
Among tho rubbish in the garnet
was an old sabre which a soldier of
the Spanish-American war had pre-
scented Mr.. Bowser as q substitute for
q lawnmOWer. 1t had never drawn
blood and it had never cut grass.
General Bowser now went up and got
1t out Of the RATTLE and standing be-
fore Mrs. Bowser he swung the weap-
on around his head and cried out:
S "On, brave boys, on!"
do you want to scare the cat and
the cook into fits?'' exclaimed Mrs.
Bowser.
The general cut and thrust.
He right-faced and he left-faced:
+ He attacked the enemy in front and
flank.
I He chopped off heads and arms and
legs.
f He won Waterloo over again.
When he had lost his breath and
aside, Mrs. Bowser observed:
''If you have got through making
an idiot of yourself perhaps you will
explain %
MRS. Bowser. have watched this
war like q hawk watches q chicken
from the very first move"
''Yes?'
"I was watching out for false moves
that might be made"
II see."
Il have given you the number Of
mistakes made up to the present
time
wonderful MANI
AT the office today was pointing
them out to Green when a stranger
entered and listened to me. He was
a general in citizens clothes and as
I named the various mistakes he nod
ded his head. When I was through
he extended his hand and introduced
himself as General Scott. Then he
said:
''Mr. Bowser each and all your criti-
cisms are correct. You must have
been at West Point"
Eyes. you and were up there one
day for the steamboat ride" smiled
Mrs. BOwser.
| The general glared at her with cold
revenge in his eyes, and then went on:
"He wanted to know il a lieuten-
ancy would tempt me to take hand
in the game. No.
"a captancy? No.
'Would 1 be a major? No.
"a colonel? No.
| "a general? I hesftated.'
But only for moment" queried
Only for moment. my DEAR
"And them"
'.And then I was General Bowser,"
he answered as he went strutting
around the room, with sabre threat
ening the cat and the furniture.
Mrs. Bowser let him strut for q
minute. and then asked:
How soon do you take your depar-
ture for the front?"
IT shall start tomorrow, IL my COM
mission comes tonight"
GAS soon as that? 1 must tell you
| that the coal is almost out, and that
there is gas bill to pay"
Great heavens. woman" exclaim-
ed the general, but can you think OF
| coal and gas bills when mistakes are
! being made by the dozen, and brave
men are dying by the thousand?"
'And we are about out OF coffee and
sugar." she added.
''Woman!"
"And don't forget to leave some
snow!''
are screaming in their agony!"
And leave me some postage stamps
SO that I can write you now and
| then"
General Bowser turned pale. Then
he turned red. Then the purple came.
Then he shivered.
At the moment he was about to col
| lapse and die a glorious death on the
field Of battle the door bell rang.
my commission" he gasped.
Mrs. Bowser answered the bell and
| took in an official envelope and hand
! ed it to him.
! General Bowser opened it with trem-
bling fingers, and then tainted dead
| away.
It was a recipe for making lambs
| wool grow on a bald head!
The general was q general NO
longer!-(Copyright 1915, by the Nc
Clure Newspaper Syndicate.)