New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1915-02-07

his size" who should dare TO call him little gen
Gcman' The barber shook him IA his father
had never shaken him. the barber bufeted him,
rocked him frantically to and fro, The bsrbe
seemed to be trying to wiring his neck; and Pen
rod saw himself in staggering zigzag pictures
destroying large, screaming. fragmcntary boys
who had insultcd him.
This torture stopped suddenly; and clenched
weeping eyes began to again. while the bar
Der applied cooling lotions which made Penrod
smell like a coored houscmaid's ideal
"Now what" asked the barber, combing the
feckiug locks gently what would it make YOU
so mad fer, TO have somebody call you little
gentleman Its kind OF compliment. it were,
you might say What would YOU want to hit any
body fer that fer"
To the mind Of Pcnrod this question vas with
ont meaning or rcasonablcncss. I, was within
neither his power nor his desire TO anayzc the
process by which the phrase had become offensive
20 him and was now rapidly assuming the pro
portions Of an outrage. He knew only that his
gorge rose at the thought Of il.
You Just let en- try it," he said thrcateningy,
as he slid down from the chair And as he wen,
out Of the door. after further conversation on
,hc same subject, he called back those warning
words once more: Just let EN- try 10 Just once
that's all | ask EN- TO. They'll find out what
they get"
The barber chucklcd Then fy Int on the bar
ber's nose and he slapped At it, and the slap
missed the fy but did not miss the nose. The
barber was irritatcd. At this moment his birdlikc
CO cleaned CLEAN as IT fell upon customers
approaching the prcttiest little girl in the world,
leading by the hand her baby brother, Mtchy-
Mitch, coming to have Mtchy-Mitch's hsir
clipped against the heat
!, was a hot day and idle, with little to feed
the mind and the barber was a mlschlevous man
With an irritated nose. He did his worst
Meanwhile the broodiug Pcnrod pursued his
homeward wav; no great distance, but long enough
FOR several one-sidcd conflicts with malign insult
cvs made Of thin air You better not call me
that" he muttercd you just try II, and you'll
get what other people got when they tried 1t.
You better not ack fresh with me! Oh, you will
Will vouo" He delivered a vicious kick full upon
he shins Of an iron fence post, which suffered
little. though Penrod instantly regretted his IN
discretion "Oof!" he grunted, hopping, and went
on after bestowing look Of awful hostility upon
he fence post. Il guess you'll know better next
.ime." he said, in parting TO his antagonist GU
Just let me catch you around here again ana
RIP His voice sank 70 inarticulate but
ominous murmurings. He was in dangerous
mood
Nearing home. however his beligerent spirit
was diverted to happier interests by the discovery
that some workmen had left caldron Of tar IN
the cross street. close by his fathers stable. he
tested il. but found it iuedble. Also, as sub
s,itute for professional chewing gum it was IN
satisfactory. being insuficiently boiled down and
: MI lukeWarm
ture But it had an excess Of one quallty-it was
s.lcLv Il was the stickiest tar Penrod had ever
use5 for anv purposes whatsoever, and nothing
uDon which he wiped his hands served to I'D
them Of it; neither his polka dotted shirtwaist nor
ms knickerbockers: neither the fence, nor even
Duke. which came unthinkngly wagglng OUT 10
greet him, and retired wiser.
Nevertheless. tar is tar. Much can be done
with it. no matter what its condition; so Penrod
fingered by the caldron, though from a nelgn-
boring ward could be heard the voices Of comrades
Including that Of Sam Williams. On the ground
about the cadron were scattered chips and SUCKS
and bits of wood to the number of great multi
,ude. Penrod mixed quantities OF this refuse into
the tar and interested himself in seeing how
much Of il he could keep moving in slow swTls
upon the even surface.
Other surprises were arranged for the absent
.yorkmen. The caldron almost full and the
surface of the tar near the rim. Penrod endesy-
ored % ascertain how many pebbles and brickbats'
dropped in would cause overflow. Laooring
heartily 10 this end, ne had almost accomplished
il when he received the suggestion for an expert
.nent on a much larger scale. Embedded at the
corner Of grass plot across the street was
v.hitewashed stone the size Of a small water
melon and serving purpose whatever save the
Questionable one Of decoration. It was easily
pried UP with a stick; though getting 1t to the
csldron tested the full strength Of the ardent
laborer Instructed to perform such task, he
would have sincerely maintained its impossiDiiity;
but now. as it was unbidden, and promised rather
destructive results, he set about it with uncon-