The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1915-07-22
Tales of the Town

U HuOSL money CuI u IelOIm 10 IHe lel-
low who gets the gate receipts.
A boy tried to prove to his mother
that he had just washed his face by
telling her to Just look at that towel"
Being a hero is not a large dividend
producer. The salary Of the wireless
operators on the ocean liners is found
to be $25 a month.
Conversation heard between two
boys: "Them English has a gun thatll
kill you five miles away" "That's
muffin. Them Germans has guns that
all they has to do to kill you is to find
out your address"
Maude Muller on a summer day,
watched the hired man rake hay. She
laughed and chortled in her glee, when
up his pants leg crawled a bee. Later
the farm hand laughed in turn when
a g%rasshopper crawled up her'n.
papa" said little Bill, 81 want a
goat" "Why, son, you can't have a
goat, he'd hook you" replied the fond
parent. "Well, daddy, then I'd cut his
horns Off" "Nothin' dom, son, he'd
butt you" cav, daddy, then I'd cut
his button off. Please get me a goat"
"Pa, what does valedictory mean? ~
"Valedictory, my son, is derived from
two Latin wards, VALERIE meaning
farewell, and 'dictre,' meaning-er.
something to do with %doctoring. In a
general way, 'valedictory' was the old
Roman way of saying Goodnight,
nurse" {
A nice old lady got into the jitney {
at the Russell hotel the other day. The {
bus was crowded and the driver said {
to her, "Gimme your bag, lady, I'll
put it on the running board. mo, in t
deed!" answered the dear old woman, i
"that poor engine has enough to pull. I
I'll jist hoI it on my lap"
4 = 4 c
One of the ushers approached a man O
who appeared to be annoying those Q
about him. "Don't you like the show?" t
'Yes, indeed" "Then why do you +
persist in kissing the performers?"
why, m-man alive, l y-wasn't h-hiss- t
.ng. 1 s-simply s-s-saying to t
.S-s-s-sammy that the s-singing is SIS c
s-superb." S
The sporting editor of this Great
Encyclopedia of knowledge
received the following request: |
Can you tell me the best time ever
made on a half mile track on the r
of July by a 9-year-old geld Il
ng driven by a baldheaded man wear il
ng a hickory shirt and chin ~whiskers." "
An advertiser claims he has solved Fl
he boys blouse problem, so there Il
will be no more trouble with tangled
Irawstrings and disconnections and
o on. Any mother with half a heart k
an solve her boys blouse problem in II
0 minutes if she'll just throw the
famed things away and let him wear T
ocular shirts. II
81
Down at Notus somebody spread h
he report of a visible sun dog last a,
EEK and the city marshal, who prides h
imself on his enforcement of he -
og tax ordinance, has hunted high al
nd low for the owner without sue h,
,ss. Now he believes somebody has q,
cen trying to "kid" the police de- 90
artment. III
fe
In the course of an exciting game h,
baseball two fingers of a players
ght hand were badly hurt and on his hi
ay home from the grounds he drop an
ID into a Doctors office to have them hi,
tended to. Doctor" he asked an I'm
ously, "when this fin of mine heals, be
i'll | be able to play the piano p? hi,
HI
Certainly you WILL" the doctor as in
red him. "Say! you're a wonder, flo
ctor. | never could before"
4 = 4 80,
This may strike you as being a good Sa,
Dry: A farmer had been invited to To,
a pallbearer at the funeral of his Da
ighbor's wife. When his wife asked ;tat
m why he hesitated he said: "Weil, q
airy, it's like this: l was p%allbearcr cid,
len Jones' first wife died, and pail "
arer when his second wife died, and int,
iciated when his third wife died, and 7
mellow | feel l shouldn't accept this IF
nth invitation, as l don't like to be ooo
favors all the time without -
ing able to return a few" IA
4 4 4 -,
One ought to know better than to
the pride of his old dun mare
h;tch;nr bor 60 liz En,J hit that's 90