Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1915-07-30
How a CIodhopper
Made a
General Reputation
By F. A. Mitchell

Jill I'LL A1SA y - 49, - -
ham Iincoln's daughter" as the phrase
had it in those days. Johnny was a
farmers boy and didn't know any more
about war than he did about manag-
ing a circus. 1t so happened that he
fell under the command of a general
who had graduated in the engineer
corps at West Point, had been sent
abroad during the Crimean war to
observe the strategy of European ar
mics and had written a report which
had caused him six years later to be
picked put for one of the great COM
( manders of the war between the states.
In short, he was at the apex of the
pyramid of military intelligence, while
Johnny was one of the many thou
sands who formed the base.
The force that Johnny served with
formed the extreme Of the right wing
of an army whose commander was
anxious to advance, but a fort so stu
ated in a pocket in the hills that 1t
was difficult to take was delaying him,
for it Is a military principle that an
army must not leave a fertilization in
its rear. The scientific soldier who
commanded this wing was approach
ing the fertilization In accordance with
the principles of military engineering
in other words, by zigzag trenches.
The only objection to this plan of re-
ducing the fort was that it tool a lot
of time and delayed al army of 10000
men from advancing. Meanwhile the
men who composed the army were
costing the government immense sums
of money, were dying of camp fever
and were getting generally democrat
lied.
Johnny Hunker, who didn't know
enough about Military matters to keep
himself in camp unless permitted to go
elsewhere, one night, feeling restless,
stole out without waking his tent
mates, evaded the camp guard and
wandered away. He was too stupid
to avoid going in the direction of the
enemy, and while men were crouching
in the trenches he was stumbling along
in the dark toward the fertilization
they were trying to dig out. Presently
he came to a dirt wall Lighting a
match, he saw that it was inclined and
about ten feet high, but he thought he
could climb it and he did. At the top
he laid his hands on something that
felt like a log. By feeling along it he
found that it was a log. Vaulting over
it, he proceeded along the top of the
dirt wall, which was some eight feet
thick, and came to another log. In this
way he discovered a number of logs
side by side on top of the dirt wall.
Hearing a storm of snores below him,
he concluded that they might come
from Concentrates. and concluded TO
retrace his steps. Sliding down the in
cline, he was cropping his way back, as
he supposed, oyer the same route by
which he had come, when suddenly he
dropped into a trench, falling on sew
-eral sleeping men.
Angry at being disturbed in their
slumbers, they reported Johnny's APP
p%earance among them, stating that he
was likely a spy from the fort who
had lost his bearings and fallen into a
trap. The result was that the young
man was sent to the rear In care of an
officer, who was directed to turn him
in as a captured spy.
In the morning %Johnny's capture
wal reported to the general and after
breakfast a staff officer was sent to-
bring him to headquarters. When
Johnny appeared the general began to
question him.
who are you"
John bunker Of Company B, til
Ohio"
The general sent for the captain of
Company B and went on with his ques-
tioning. He asked Johnny how he hap
pened to be out among the trenches at
When he came to the dirt wall, as he
called 1t, and the logs the general
prieked up his ears. He asked Johnny
how many men he had heard snoring.
and Johnny replied. GA hull lot" On
being asked what he meant by "a hull
lot Johnny explained, There must
"a been four or five of EN-"
While the questioning was going on
-~Johnny's captain came in and identi-
ned him az a private in his command.
He was very severe in his manner to
the culprit, being mortified that one of
his men should have been caught In
such a breach Of discipline.
Within half an hour after the inter
view between Johnny and his COM
mander the right wing of the army
was drawn up in line of battle and an
order given to march upon the fort.
When the men reached it they clam
oered up the sides to the. parapet, as
Johnny had done the night before,
without drawing a single shot. They
found that what he had supposed to be
a row of logs were Quaker guns-that
Is, logs shaped to represent cannon. A
lew lean C~onfederates in butternut
We're seen clambering up the hillside.
They had been in charge Of the fort
and kept the guns from falling of their