The Liberal democrat. [volume] (Liberal, Kan.) 1911-1924, 1915-05-21
NO MORE INSOMNIA
Jaxman Had Got Rid of That
Kind OF Trouble.
But, Even Then, Circumstances Wers
Such That He Was Not satlsle4-~
Disconsolate Bridegroom hao
Tale of Woe.

RAtSl tuSll OLA " SlOCh uluueE ttlBDy,
the host, and JaXman, who was down
for the week end, went to the billiard
room. At eight Highly was yawning
behind his hand. By nine he was walk
ing in his sleep.
"Egad!" said Jaxman dryly, as he
put his cue in the rack, you became
domestEated in a hurry, didn't your"
81 don't know what is the matter
with me tonight" apologized Highly,
trying to suppress another yawn.
you have been kept up beyond your
usual bedtime" declared Jaxman.
when there's no company, I'll wager
you curl up on the hearth rug and go
to sleep as soon as you've had your
dinner"
Highly grinned sheepishly. Doing
behind his paper ID chair was not
very different from that.
Il can remember the period" unused
Jaxman, when you complained be-
cause daylight always broke up the
revels before you got sleepy"
THE sting of hilarious night" re-
Elected Highly, lies in the tail end Of
1t. You can get by with lots Of things
in the dark. But when daylight comes,
you can no longer fool yourself about
how rotten you feel"
Hear, hear!" jeered Jaxman. And
you've been married just three months.
If thought that matrimony would
have such soporific effect on me, I'd
shut my eyes, hold my nose ""H take
dose of it. Nothing else seems to
help this COMPOUNDED insomnia of
mine"
Marriage is the best little sleeping
powder on the market" chuckled Hig-
by, land it's easy and pleasant to take.
You must remember, however, that 1t
doesn't come with money-back-ifit-
fails-to-cure guaranty"
Just then pretty Mrs. Highly came
in, and the utter peace and content
ment visible in the sleepy eyes of her
husband irritated Jaxman SO that he
went to his room presently. At two
o'clock JaXman sat up In bed with a
smothered exclamation that should
never be used in Sunday paper.
"There are $751; SAC, 1886 sheep in the
world" he bitterly announced. 1--WE
counted them jumping over a fence.
I've listened to water dripping until
the earth must be inundated. I've lain
on my stomach, stood on my head and
hung by my toes from the footboard
and still l can't sleep" A heavy bass
snore floated over the transom.
And there's old Hig sleeping like
like married man. Egad!" muttered
Jaxman, Il wonder If there is anything
in that? There must be. Ashley.
Beckwith, Potter and the rest all be-
gan to act that way as soon as they
got into double harness. BY Jove!
I'll try it. I'd better be a married man
than dead one"
Jaxman soon discovered that falling
in love was easier than falling off the
water wagon. Whenever he seemed to
have stopped tumbling, Betty led him
to an elevated spot and gave him a
look that made him dizzy-headed II
that failed, she kicked his feet from
under him. She had long been sorry
for the poor, lonely bachelor and was
glad of the chance to help him.
Where shall we spend our honey
moon, lover" asked Jaxman, when all
else had been decided.
Palm Beach," replied Betty prompt.
ly.
"Oh, not there, DEAR" he protested.
81 was thinking of bungalow in some
quiet place, where / could have you
all to myself"
81 want you all to myself, too"
cooed Betty, stopping his mouth with
her soft cheek. But wouldn't 1t be a
pity to let all my handsome clothes
mildew in a bungalow in some quiet
place."
Two months after the wedding Jax-
man, wearing hunted expression and
less than his normal
avoirdupois, arrived at Higbys. Hide
ne, Highly" he begged. IF anyone
calls me on the phone, say that / am
not here"
Didn't the matrimonial insomnia
cure work?" asked Highly, shocked at
his friends worn appearance.
Within two weeks l would fall
asleep in my chair before eight |
o'clock" answered Jaxman.
Then what"
Betty wouldn't let me Sleep"
he disconsolate bridegroom. "She |
lad made her debut only a month be-
ore we were married, and she wanted
% do society. I've been to dinner,
lance, theater party or something OF
he kind every night since the wed
ling"
The poor fellows head dropped for.
ward, his eyes closed, and his words
anne thickly. Even If the medicine
.ures -you-may-be-sorry-you -
ook-it"
At last he slept-Judge.