davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Meant Safety.

A Scotchman and an Irishman met
in the country one day and during
their conversation a motorcar passed
by; the Scotchman said he hated the
smell of a motorcar; but Paddy said
he liked it.
'Why?" said the Scotchman, and
Paddy said when he smelt it he knew
the danger was past.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Don't Poison Babv.
ALWAYS Cool.

Mrs. Lightfeede 1.-THE landlady)-I am
sorry to say that the drinking water
is a tritie warm for this evenings
dinner. The iceman is very irregu.
lar about his calls of late
MIR. Fnlup-Oh, that's easily RENE
died, Mrs. Lightfeede. Just draw US
a pitcherful from the hot water faucet
in the bathroom.-Judge.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Indications of Longer Coats.

The inclination is to lengthen the
separate coat, and the prospects are
that by fall we shall see a return to
the full-length OF seven-eighths length
for wear over the afternoon or eve
ming frock of silk or lace. Even the
utility coat is taking on additional
inches. However, this will not affect
the standing of the present models,
which are more seasonable in their
helf-length and perhaps a little more
youthful in line.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Ma Trnuhle st All.

m saved three today" said the first
nfeguard- .o,d tho second life.
81 saved only two, but they
gu fat Yours were thin"
Wei atInbl had the dickens OF time
seeuing mine above water but you u
ECO Zee. +owed those fat women to shore"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
When Pat Scored.

An freshman was one day looking at
the notice, Your King and Country
Need You" A delicate-looking Eng
lishman happened to be passing by
and thinking to have a joke at Pats
expense. started the following:
Englishman-Wel, Pat, will you vol
unteer for the front?
Irishman Begob, l will if you come
Englishman- Why do you want me
with you?
Irishmau-Sure, when the kaiser
sees you he viii look for peace. He'll
think the British are rising from the
dead.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
CONVENIENT FOR SMOKER
Mateh-Striker and Pipe-Holder That
Viii Be Appreciated by Man
Fond of Tobacco.

This is useful little present to
make for 6 brother or male friend who
happens to be smoker. 1t is intend
ed for hanging upon the wall by the
side of the mantelpiece, and for hold
ing single pipe and it is provided
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

trasting skirt facings and Innings 3s
so pronounced. Cloud gray, with
facings of nile green, is another sug
gestion for a lovely color combfna-
ton that may be applied to the illus
trated model.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
He Was Practicinq.

Johnny was seated at the piano
reading
His Mother (from the kitchen)-
Johnny. why aren't you practicing?
JOHNNY am.
His Mother don't hear anything.
Johnny-Wen. IN practicing the
pauses.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

center of the table. The papers are
well mixed together. and each player
directed TO select one of them. Upon
opening the paper. the player must at
once proceed to make either four
or eight-lined verse. making each OF
the words mentioned on the paper
appear in some part OF each tine
When the verses are complete. the
competitors have to lad the verses
aloud and the PLAYERS vote on those
they consider WORTHY of ire prizes
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Nartha-Tcm playing a lot of golf
these days-alone. wonder wig?
Nauha-Molly turned him down.
Aartin-Why, she told me he was
single from choice.
Aarr1a-les, but it's her choice
Judge.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Tired of Waiting.

"Of course the war can't last for
ovar~ said the optimist.
S0f course not" asserted the pes
mist but, confound it, neither can
We"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Appropriate AfHiction

How did the doctors diagnose the
trouble of that grass widow"
They said she had the hay fever"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Fulfilling Conditions.

Fulfilling Conditions.
Miser Thorpe's brother died and left
the miser legacy on condition that
he put up hundred-dollar tombstone
over him suitably inscribed.
The miser ordered the hundred
dollar tombstone-there was no get.
ting round that-but he was deter
mined to save on the inscription. The
stonecutter proposed
Here lies the corp
Of Joseph Thorpe"
But this the miser refused as too
long. He cut it down till it read
"Thorpe's
Corpse"
Chicago News.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

The man who does his fighting ever
the longdistance telephone evidently
believes that discretion is the better
part of valor.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Prohibition Order,

No wet goods at all to be OBJ
tanned in this town, sir
Then could l get something extra
dry?"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

The production of gold in Australia
has declined steadily since 1898, the
output last year being 156,16O ounces
less than the year before.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
MAKING HUT OF BRUSHWOOD
Lean Pole Against Tree, Then Thatch
It With Branches-Thicker the
Roof, Cooler the Tent.

A very simple hut can be made by
cutting pole and leaning it against
a tree. binding it's end there; then
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

shoe trees have improved vastly with
in the last few seasons. To a
very large extent the wooden forms
have been supplant"d by those Of
metal
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Los Angeles has a city mother
Mrs. Aletha Gilbert
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Naturally.

What were you doing so long at
the photographers
Merely awaiting developments"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Sometimes half the truth is worse
than none.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

There isn't much difference between
pretty girl and a homely one IL
they both have a million dollars.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

When a woman has a headache it
is natural; but when a man has a
headache it is usually acquired.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

People who pay compliments never
"ait for the bill collector to call.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

nirect sunlight by its chemical ef'
..ats disintegrates the backing of mir
Us - in a comparatively short time.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Even a prepaid telegram goes on
tick
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Tea ard coffee should be kept in
glass Jars rather than in tin canisters.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

to remain on the body any longer than
necessary, as it is not only unpleasant
but unhealthy. During warm weather
bathing can scarcely be too heating
and cold baths stimulate the circula-
ton to such a degree that the after
effects are positively glowing.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Clubs are Irumps in the policeman's
game
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21
Sailor Hat.

A rather small sailor hat is prettily
trimmed with band of ribbon around
the crown, finished with a simple fat
bow, two ends hanging over the brim
in the back.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

When all others fail to please
Try Denison's Coffee.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

If you have an iron will don't let it
get rusty
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Surnames were not used in England
before the conquest.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

The hard worklns cie.A IS USUALLY
working for q raise.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

Genius may be little backward
about coming forward, but talent al
ways shows up on pay day.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1915-09-21

sides, I have all need, and am con-
tent"
Now, Sarah heard what the old
witch told Margaret and that night
she locked her in the house and went
to the rock herself She tapped it
three times and said.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03

vessels flying the American nag to
supply our navy In case Of war with
the necessary auxillaries.
] believe everybody Will agree that
the government should provide these
naval anxiliaries. And this opens to
us 4 great opportunity WhenSthe gov
Eernment has constrti cted 500, 600 tons
OF merchant marine naval alixiiiaries
1T will have "a splendid commercial!
fleet at fits disposal! These vessels,
while kept available for use In time
Of war, could be used to build up an
enorme increased foreign trade!
Our merchants would no longer be at
a disadvantage In competing for the
open markets OF South America and
the Orient, nor be at the mercy OF for.
eign steamship owners and exorbitant
ocean freight rates. M
+ Passenger and cargo ships running
to Brazil. Uruguay and Argentina: an.
other line to Columbia, Ecudor, Peru
and Chile, and along the west coast
OF South America, and a third line to
the Orient, touching at Honolulu, ia
pan, China and the Philippines, would
supply a service imperatively demand
ed in the interest of this country. We
need not establish regular steamship
lines where sufficient and satisfactory
service is already supplied by Amerl.
can companies sailing American ships.
But the creation of these naval aux
Iiliarics will supplement the compara-
lively small number of American ships
operating in the foreign trade and
assure our merchants OF delivery,
service to the open markets OF the
world that will enable the United
States to get Its share Of the world
trade,
The farmer, the merchant, the man
ufacturer, the miner and the laboring
man are vitality interested in this Inn
tportant question.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
UNCLE SAM MUST BUILD Ills ONlN
COMMERCIAL FLEET, SAYS M'ADOO


in rates and service as against Amer:
lean merchants. onsthe other hand, II
we have American ships, their first
interest is to build up and extend
American business. No groceryman
would think for a moment OF depend.
ing on the delivery service OF his com.
petitor TO get his goods to his Gus.
toners. Yet, that is exactly what the
United States is doing now. We are
destined to be the great merchant for
"a large party of the world, unless we
depend on our competitors TO furnish
the delivery service. n
II q merchant In South America has
an order to place for cotton goods,
steel rails, or some other commodity,
lie will get quotations from England,
Germany and the United States. The
British and German merchants each
have steamship lines to carry their
goods. The merchant in the United
States has none, and must depend on
a German or British line. Which
merchant will get the best freight rate
and service in such circumstances?
Not the American merchant!
We are now paying TO foreign steam.
ship lines more than $3S00,000, 900 a
year in freight rates. BY having our
own merchant marine we can pay
them for this service, thus profiting
our people in time of peace aud sery.
ing our country in time OF war.
For We Gun make our merchant me.
Tine serve double purpose. In time
of war we shall need naval auxilaries.
a naval auxiliary Is fleet Of mer.
chant vessels SO built that they can
be used for naval purposes In time Of
war. The fighting ships of the navy
have to be furnished at sea with coal,
provisions and supplies. They cannot
carry sufficient supplies to enable
them to stay at sea for long periods.
So naval auxiliaries arc necessary. We
cannot rely upon our ability to pur.
chase the necessary naval auxila7ies
after q war breaks out. And even IL
we could. we would have to pay fab.
ulous prices for them.
1898 the navy purchased 102 vessels
as naval auxl!!aries at the enormous
cost Of S1S,0O0,000, and we only had
to so to Cuba. Most of them were
unsulled to the needs OF the navy, but
we had 10 take anything we could get.
We have not today sufficient merchant
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
Must Us: Garry Our Own G oods
to -Four Corners Of the
Globe. ],
.AHDKEEP THET0LLSHONE
That the Treasury Heads
Answer to Commercial
Supremacy Problem.
written Especially for this Newspa.
per-. Copyright, t1e15.

written Especially for this Newspa.
per-. copyright,s1
The greatest opportunity war ever
offered to a nation for. world wide ex.
pansion Gifts commerce is opened to
the United States as a result Of tho
war that is devastating and laying
waste the continent OF Europe and
temporarily paralyzing the economic
forces OF the eastern hemispherel
Acceptance of this opportunity means
permanent prosperity at home and
service abroad. 1t means that the
United States will rise to the topmost
peak OF commercial success, spread.
ing its moral and material influence
throughout the world. 1t means that
the products OF our. farms, our mines
and our factoreies will be distributed
10 the waiting markets of the world.
Will we accept the opportunity.
The excellent business conditions
now prevailing will continue and i'm.
prove only to the extent that we main.
tain and cxpend our foreign trade
along the lines of stability and permn.
nence.
When the European war broke out.
the FIRST effect was disorgRni2ation
OF exchange, dislocation OF CREDITS
and an almost complete stoppagc Of
exports. Following this came pc.
rlod OF reimbursement, restored conf.
dcnce, and resumption OF exports.
Now the orders from foreign com:
tries have so stimulated our commerce
that for the first time In the nations
history exports exceeded three billion
dollars In value for q 12,month period
The department OF commerce reports
that for the - months ending with
August 81, 1915, exports from the
United States aggregated sS03s.2SO,
against s2,2s0,1s5.701 in a like period
one year ago. The exports for the
month of August, 1915, were 1877 per
cent greater; than the exports for
August, 1914.
Our industries ale running full time
and there Is demand for all our sur
plus products. The effect upon o r
prosperity Is evident
What viii happen when peace Is no.
stored In Europe? We now dominate
the marrots of Europe because Of the
war. When the processes of prohuc.
ton are restored n Europe we must
substitute markets which are now
available to us and practically un'
touched, II we are 10 preserve and
stabalize our prosperity. The mar
kets of South and Central America
and the Orient are open to us as new.
er before. We have the goods, and
we have, through the new federal re.
serve system, the necessary credit re-
sources We lack one thing--ships;
To complete with other commercial
nations! and secure our share OF tie
open markets Of the world, We must
have our own merchant marine. five
depend on the ships Of Great Britain,
Germany, France and other complet-
ing commercial nations, they will nat.
urally favor their own merchants both
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
Tho OIL Market,
.Clarksburg Fights
Gas Rate Increase

cLARKsBURG, Dec. "a bitter
fight is to be waged by the business
men and manufacturers against the
proposed 80 per cent. gas rate Increase
by the ClaTksburg Light & Power Com.
pany. Standard OIL concern, now be.
Ing investigated at a public hearing
IN this city by the State Public Ser.
vice Commission.
~ statement issued by a special
committee Of The Clarksburg Board OF
Trade says that in addition to the
fight being wagrd by the trade board,
manufacturers OF the district have
raised n fund and employed expert
counsel to fight the increase. The
Glarksburg Business MEMS League
has Joined forces with the trade board
and the manufacturers.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
Boomer Mine Will {
Be Reopened Monday

CHARLESTON, w. Va, Dec. a.
Following an exploration yesterday af-
ternoon by United States mine engi-
neers, including D. ]. Parker, engi-
neer OF mine rescue car No. 5, from
this district, and J. w. Paul and H.
D. Mason, engineers from the Pitts.
burgh station OF the United States
Burau OF Mines. Of the Boomer Coal
& Coke Company's mine at Boomer,
where an explosion occurred last Tues.
day, claiming % victims, the Govern.
ment officers completed their investt.
CATION in the mine disaster and left
tho scene.
The mine has been entirely cleared
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
Pittsbu!r,qh

81 PITTSBURGH, Dec, S.-fn strong
contrast TO the weakness displayed
by the New York market the local
Stock Exchange for the first time this
week showed yesterday some OF those
elements that are likely to arouse en-.
thusiasm In the trader OF stock secu7i-
ties. ana through bout the day the trans.
actions displayed atendency toward
animation and activity, which lent an
added interest TO the general situa.
ton on the exchange.
National FIreprooting, both the com.
mon and preferred issue were easily
the most prominent factors In the
trading, and the business done in
them represented considerably more
than half Of the total transaction The
obvious reason for the attention given
to these issues was an excellent re.
port about the oil well; struck by the
company IN the Hooking field Ac.
cording to latest adyices the well runs
at the rate OF 40 barrels dag.
The Window Glass group came also
~ Tor good sdeal % attention, espec.
tally the Window Glass Machine COM
on, which was In excellent demand
rose two points during the. transnc.
tlons from 27iks 10 sa1ls and closed at
the last duotatl Ion The preferred re.
heived even more Formidable support,
and It had the distinction OF being lift
ed to the highest advance on the
board. The last sale at$l2s was also
ito highest price OF 1.-THE day, represent.
ing gain Of $50 points
Apart from these specialties tile
rest Of the list was quite literally dealt,
: IN. and In a general Wa most OF them
maintained their prices especially in
the oil group. where Ohio Fuel OIL
and Ohio Fuel Sup both made fair
fractional advances.
An interesting feature in connec.,
ton with The transact ions in the West.
tnghouse class was 4 he appearance of
\ Westinghouse Machine, which had not
been denlt since last October, For
time It's price was depressed to 94ls
which Is half point lower than the
recent quotation, but 1t recovered that
loss and closed at its former figure
Of 49,. ~
Total sales, shares 1856; bonds,
none. q s. RI - /. 81.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03

/
new production. The wildwood on
Company has three wells on the ].
w: Whitman farm, pro ucing close to
200 barrels a day. No. 4 on the j. B!
SWhiteman farm is, drilling at 1000 feet.
The Wildwood company; will be slue TO
get the sand in a few days at its test
on the s. L. Morgan farm, and has a
rig building for a test on the Midcap
farm. The Martinsyille Oil Company
has started No. 10, and has the rig up
for No. II. T. 9. Kinsey e Company
are ready to drill No. q on the T. B.
gWhiteman farm. They are down 500
feet at this well, but shut It down and
moved the rig eight hundred feet near.
er. the Martinsville Oil Company's line.
The Hope Natural Gas Campony will
be due In ten Gays at its second test
on the Midcap farm, and the Manufac.
turers Light and Heat Company Is
starting a test on the M. Morgan
farm, and T. C. Kingsley & Company
have the rig for a test on the L. Nor.
gan farm. r.. e
Lincoln County has as much or more
new work starting as any other county
In the State. On Joes Greek. Duval
district, the Carter Oil Company has
started tosdrlll a test on the Charles
Wagner farm, located 1900 feet south
OF the same company's test on the
Reese Mcclure farm. On Bear Fork,
In the same district, the Big Creek
Development Company has started to
drill No. 20 on the NJ. Spurlock farm.
NIt
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
New Xork

NEW YORK. Dec. 3.-Forefgn sell.
Ing Of standard securities and pro.
nounced heastness In specialties sery:
ed to depreas prices substantially in
Yesterdays market. Europe's renew.
ed offerings Of our stocks lacked ex.
PLANTATION, other than that ii may have
been necessitated by the extensive
French and British commitm ents to
the new French loan.
The further setback in war shares
Waa directly traceable to the utteer.
azceB Of a leading fnancier, who ven.
tured the prophecy that the allied
forces would henceforth reduce their
war contracts In this country. Tie
principal reason advanced in this con.
nection was that cash would be lack.
ing to meet additional obligations.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
Cc1lrtNews
peedo Filled.

), Deedo Filed.
The following deeds were yesterday
fled with County Clerk ASG. Martin
for recording:
Russell L. Satterfield and wife to
W. q. DeVault, a parcel Of land in the
Reeves addition TO the city OF Fair.
mont. Consideration $500.
Sylvester R. Clayton to E. T. Clay.
ton, a parcel of land in the Hamilton
addition to the city of Fairmont. Con,
sideration $500.
Rtyerv1ew Improvement Company
to Lewis Henshaw, parcel of land in
the above mentioned company's ad.
dition to the city of Fairmont. Con.
sideration, $500.
Birth Certificates.
DR.. Carter S. Fleming yesterday filed
five birth certificates with tho county
clerk for recording.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03

The regular monthly meeting Of the
brotherhood of Railway Trainmen
Will hereafter be held in the Red
Mems Hall or Merchant street. The
meeting rooms in the Cunningham
building will be vacated.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
FoRasALE

ron sai.E~sisai; 'SSSss. essiS BOOKS,
Journals, ledsers. rccort books, bill pay
able. trial balance, time Books. Fa.rmont
Printing and Publishing Co.. Monroe
FOR SALIs--I'rotectograph scores and
prints ~ tndelible ink the amount
NoS check. ID drst class condition aud
VIII sell cheap. Inquire Box SAT. West
Vtrgiuian. 11-16:tf.No .547
FOR SALE-Two center pieces, one
with embroidered center aiit. crochet.
Cd edge. one with plain center and
pntted edge. Inquire Paionn Bishop,
306 Hamilton street. Con. phone
7ee-W ll.23sastos7SNn9 sea
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1915-12-03
HOUSES FOR RENT

FOR RENT-Six room house. Modern
conveniences, $500 per month. Call
S14 Bell or 663 Cons. 12.2-3t.No.5S $50.