Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1915-11-12
.....ess...ee......e..s...
!: WHAT THEY DON'T HEAR !:
BY GRACE GoWDY.
ssssssssessssssessssssss,

The girl who likes to talk dropped |
the slice of lemon into her tea, medi- |
tatively. IT'S perfectly wonderful"
after he's married.
when he's just engaged" she went |
on, "he can hear his adored ones faint.
est whisper in boiler factory going |
full blast, but afterward-honest, Eve
seen women who had to ehloroform
their husbands and tie them hand and
foot before they could get the wretches
to listen to something that it was alb
solutely necessary to tell them!
There's my brother Edgar. Now,
he's a perfectly good brother and al
ways bought me exactly as fine candy
and flowers as he gave the girl he
happened to be in love with, and nat
urally I think a great deal Of him. /
never saw anything like the devotion
he bestowed upon Mae while they
were engaged. It was what you might
call oppressive to the innocent by.
stander.
"If Mae was at one end of a ball
room 20 feet long and Edgar at the
other surrounded by Gordon of men
and Mae chanced to whisper to her
partner that she believed she had
dropped her handkerchief, give you
my word that Edgar would plunge
through that mass of men, instantly as
though he were the locomotive draw
ing the 18-hour special to New York.
And before Macs partner had time to
stoop Edgar had recovered the hand.
kerchief, presented it to her and anx-
iously inquired whether there wasn't
something else he could do for her. an
before the dead and wounded that
marked the tumultuous progress
through the ballroom had had time to
| pick themselves up and dust them
selves off!
Il began to believe that Edgar suf.
ferred from what is known as acute
hearing. He always was leaning anx-
| iously forward and saying: 'Yes-what
| did you say, dear?' Afraid he might
| miss something, you see. Well, they've
| been married two years now, and he's
| just as much in love with her as ever
| but I'll tell you what happens when it
| is necessary for Mae to communicate
something to Edgar. The scene is after
| dinner and Edgar has the newspaper
| Says Mae:
| 'Edgar!' Then she repeats the
name three times. Then from behind
| the paper comes a sound like 'H'm?'
Says Mae, Edgar, the queerest thing
| @0d rIov 70
| bring your new suit of clothes deliv.
cred pound of prunes instead!
| Thrilling silence from behind the pa.
| per. Mae takes a deep breath. Ed
| gar she says, the tailor's man left a
| pound of prunes today instead of your
| new suiti'
'Jemima!' explodes Edgar at this
| instant, listen to this Then he reads
| something aloud from his newspaper.
Half an hour later when he goes to
| put on his new suit and finds a pound
of prunes instead he raves and wants
to know why on earth Mae couldn't
take enough interest in his affairs to
tell him!
why, there's deep ocean rumble
all over this broad land of wives tell
ing things to their husbands who aren't
listening. It's a substratum on which
are built all the conversations and all
the daily deeds that are done! Hus.
bands are being told that the gas bin
is overdue and that it looks as though
Willie was coming down with the
measles; that mother is coming for
a six months visit and that the new
velvet gown from Celeste is ruined
that the cook has left, or mice have
eaten the best bindings on the library
shelves, or the Whites dinner party
| is postponed, or that Uncle Hiram had
a stroke of paralysis yesterday-ant
do they hear? They do not.
"They go blissfully on in their calm
peaceful, unlistening mental attitude
and let the dear creatures babble fran
tically. imploringly, beseechingly.
THE only time they came out Of
, their trance is when they find the gas
l man has turned off the gas OF discover
mothers trunk in the guest room ant
then they demand to be told why. The
wise wife does not burst into tear:
and insist that she has already TOLD
her husband 16 times-she says meek
1y Yes, dear, it is my fault, and
: should have Informed you'-and the1
goes downtown and charges something
perfectly awful on that months dr..
goods bill in revenge. He doesn't know
it's revenge-he calls it extravaganza
h41f that gives him something TO tall
about and keeps him amused, SO iti
for his own good.
''Do you know what I'm going to d.
when l get husband?" asked the gir
who likes to talk when have some
n thing to tell him I'm going to send hin
g kilograms, collect, to his oficei"