The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1915-03-29
No Human Will Be Able to Measn.
Happiness Which Announcement of
Struggles End Will Create.
"FIGHTING IS LIVING HE'LL"
Relates Sensation Which Follows Kill
ing Of Enemy, First Thought
of Triumph, Then Remorse.
BY PHIL RAIDER.


London, March How it feels to
kill man is something that I can
adequately describe There are mil
lions of men in Europe who have
been fighting during the last year,
but I venture to say that not one of
them could faithfully detail his emo
lions on first killing human life.
After you see your victim drop you
feel sense Of triumph. Then the
ages of training in the Ten Com
mandments comes to the front and
you feel like murderer. Then you
want to run around your mates and
tell them the circumstances of the
killing and get them to tell you that
you did the right thing.
My experiences were like that.
was standing behind by lieutenant
one day. He had fastened a small
mirror to twig and was looking at
the German trench, when suddenly
he said: "Get your gun. A Boche
has come out of his trench" l ran
down the trench, got my gun back to
the port hole. I was so excited
could hardly aim. Through the hole
l saw a German standing on the
edge of the trench. He had been
carrying huge board and had rested
it against his back when he tried to
light his pipe.
"Get Him." Said Officer.
Get him! Get him. said the lieu
tenant. The German struck another
match and merely looked contempt
ously at the spot where the bullet had
whistled past him He was only As
feet away from me, but through
loophole I could see part of his
body and I wanted to hit low, if pos
sible. I aimed again. He wheeled
around and backed in a circle like a
drunken man trying to keep his bal
ance. Then he threw up both hands
and fell forward on his face: -,...-->....
I turned around to look at the
lieutenant. He had moved away. I
was proud Then a wave of remorse
came over me. 1t was the thou
shalt not kill'' that is buried deep in
every sane mans mind and heart
Il got German I shouted to a SOL
der nearby I told him how the
man had been standing there holding
a board
"Did he have a riAe?"' asked he
soldier
"Why, no." l said.
"And you shot an unarmed man."
Il had direct orders,' l answered.
Felt Like a Dog.
left like a dog It seemed to me
that I must find some human being
who would say had done right.
told another soldier bout it.
"Served him right said the SOL
der He'd have done the same
thing to you"
These were splendid words for me.
udu SlOuCueu along Tie trench
before I met him. After that I held
up my head. But the two feelings,
the pride and the remorse, fought in
my mind.
At last told it all to an old Leg
ion soldier.
In War to Kill.
my boy" he said, cts war.
Could you have refused to shoot un-
der the eye of the lieutenant? War
is killing and that's all there is to
it. Suppose every soldier in the
French line were to obey his own
instinct about killing. None of the
enemy would die. The French have
brought you here to kill. You are
ordered to kill and you must kill,
whenever you can"
Technically I had done wrong, be-
cause all war is technically wrong.
sat behind machine gun one day
soon after that and killed eleven
Germans who had built a barricade