Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1915-12-15
Orders Superior Officer to Grab q
Gun, Gets Cussed Out, Promo
ton Ahead.
BY HERBERT COREY.
Copyright. 1850

old man at that. If the corporal isn't
on the next list of promotions the old
man is due to be sorer than a pup"
Before the corporars case is to be
rightly comprehended certain trench
difficulties must be viewed-that of
keeping clean, for example. No one
can keep clean in the trenches. The
men enter them moderately clean
after a few months of war, the major
says. the average soldier is a rare con-
sentative about cold baths-and then
couple of weeks there is nothing done
in the way of renovation. The major
himself is suspected of aristocratic
tendencies because he brushes his teeth
every morning.
But I've got to do it," he says. rather
plaintively I'm SO devilish uncom-
Portable unless l do. My mind doesn't
work right. Instead of thinking about
the boches I keep thinking about my
teeth"
Have No Water to Spare.
The rest of the men merely get thor
oughly dirty as soon as possible and
stay that way until the time comes to
go to the rest billets back Of the lines.
They have no water to spare for clean
up purposes. for one thing. Often for
days they have only coffee or tea to
drink, and, take it from the major. tea
and tooth paste make horrid combi-
nation. The trench clay gets worked
into their very systems. 1t is daubed
in their sprouting whiskers At night
they sleep in dugouts. and when it
rains-and it usually does rain when
one sleeps in a dugout-mud dribbles
upon their healthful slumbers all night
long. There are other phases OF per
sonal sanitation in trench that may
H..
Il don't mind the rats, says the
major, with feeling. But the bugs
all sorts of bugs.
When the men go to the rear for
rest more or less copious opportunities
are offered for cleaning UP. Not all
men take advantage of their chances.
Some are apparently proud of their
CRIME. Others are careless and do not
clean up until example has had its eff
feet. Others wash themselves when
each morning. The corporal is of this
latter sort. He has a positive mania
for bathing himself all over. The major
is a clean man as soldiers go. He likes
to talk of the steaming hot baths he
has been taking this week in Paris.
But even he says the corporal carries
his liking for bathing to an extreme.
soldiers cleanup kit is necessarily
of the slenderest description. He must
carry it on his own back in a pack
that is already laden with greatcoat
and sweater and a pair of boots and
the iron ration and whatever clean
clothes he may go in for and various
Injuries, such as chocolate and tobacco.
Therefore. it is cut to a minimum. A
towel, razor, soap. comb. toothbrush.
lather brush and mirror is positive lux
ury. Nor is there any lending. The
average military beard after eight days
in the ditch would turn the edge of a
diamond cutter. A saint would refuse
his razor to the possessor of such a
wire atrocity. The washed-up man
who lacks towel dries himself in the
zephyrs.
Carries Both Sponge and Towel.
The corporal" says the major,
carries a bath sponge and an extra
towel and a big tube of some sort of
gooey soap. AS soon as he gets the
chance he washes himself like a
buggy"
The major says it is positively en-
barrassing to be in the corporars vi
cinity during the rest camp. Look
where one may. one seems always to
see a huge. white, muscular body in
the act of frenZied ablution. When he
can find some measure of privacy the
corporal takes advantage of it. of
course If he cannot he bathes any
how. In one French village there was
only a stone horsetrough which had
been erected by Charles the Bold or
Mary de Medici or some one, and it
was in the middle of the street The
corporal complained bitterly because
the villagers gathered about him at
his daily bath. The sight attracted
an Battalion and they gathered about
the villagers. The major thinks it was
at this village that the corporal so en-
riched his vocabulary
1--WE were only half a mile back of
the line one day." says the major, |
self. Shells fell in the neighborhood
now and then, but that didn't buffal 10 |
the corporal He was stripped to the |
tallow behind a little piece of woods !
ON the edge of stream and he was
just granting with pleasure. He had |
found bucket somewhere and he was
lathered to perfection. Looked like
an ad of somebody's soap. Just then
blooie! An alarm was sounded" d.
There wasn't any time for the corporal
to. dress. The Germans had sneaked !
the wood in a small party and |
were on the Canadians. He pulled ON |
his boots and cap, tied a towel around |
himself, buckled on his belt, seized his |
ing captain thrust them into a commu-
MICA ton trench and they ran for the |
fire trenches. heads bent down because |
trenches are shallow.
The lathered corporal ran with the best |
of them. On the way the captain twist |
ed his ankle and fell. He had to hob |
BILE after his men at the best speed |
possible. The only lieutenant left TO |
the company was temporarily put ont |
of action by a bit of shrapneI. The
corporal found himself in command of |
a squad at a bad angl,. They stepped |
up on the firing platforms and rested
tf.eir rifles on the clay parapet and LET
the charging Germans have it. The
colonel came running along the trench.
what the damnation!" said the col
onel.
"Grab gum yelled the corporal.
Never mind your blighted epaulets.
Grab a gum!
Colonel obeys Orders.
So the colonel grabbed a gum Cana
dian colonies grab guns more often
thai outsiders think, according to the
major. They're out here to kill Ger
mans, and one way of killing them is
with a gun For the moment the col
,ners proper job of supervision was in
,beyance The Germans were swapping
At the wires with their big pliers. The
first thing to do was to stop the Ger
mans.
1T know what he would have told me
7 had reasoned with him." said the !
colonel afterward, with a chuckle. "He
would have told me first to stop the
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