South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1915-03-26

by Beatrice Fairfax.
Nothing in all the world can con-
vince a woman that a man is not alb
soluteIy justified for being in love with
her. Nothing can convince her that
she Is not being cheated out Of her
birthright and given an unfair deal
and being abused and neglected and
generally maltreated by malicious
fate unless her progress through life
Is marked at intervals by admirlng
males
Everyone Of us has enough sane
judgment TO know when man Is
making a fool Of himself by falling in
love with somebody else. But when ii
comes TO the first personal singular,
Judgment fails. we don't have TO de-
serve love or TO win tive just want
IL, And by the force OF wanting we
expect TO attract IT; while because of
the force Of that same desire we think
the tide of life ought TO go out of its
way and digress about all obstacles in
order TO wash up on the shores at our
feet a shipwrecked mariner who will
excIaim at once and in glowing terms
at our own first person singular su-
preme charmi
We want admiratiOn-ergO: we must
have it.
And the ways in which we set out
20 get II, oh, my sisters, are strange
and wonderful-slnd wonderfully in
effectual. We make ourselves fine
with gay raiment. We learn all the
futile little tricks of modern society.
We maneuver to outshine other wo-
men. We cater 10 the very character
istics in men which in our hearts we
least admire-and which, when delib-
erately appealed TO. fail to yield last
ing or deep response. We make our
selves cheap and conspicuous and cas-
ily attainable and lower our best
standards. And all Of this for admira-
ton and the glitter of compliments.
And even while we are chasing in
a circle as amusingly futile as the one
Pussykins describes when she whirls
after her own fluffy tail, there are the
big emotions waiting outside the pa
thetic little circle we choose for our
daily little round.
Well Worth Having.
Masculine admiration is well worth
having. But il is not TO be confused
with more compliments, or with
amused tolerance or with patrOniZing
tribute TO the weaker sex" No
grown woman can really want man
TO like her in the way he would an
adorable pretty child. No being of
flesh and blood can live on the sort of
glowing criticism a beautiful picture
might call forth. And no woman of
character can be satisfied to appeal To
man save In an intellectual way.
But most of us go unerringly after
what analysis surely shows us we do
not want. We don't discriminate be-
tween praise and hattery and honest
admiration. For the sake of the icing
we swallow cake that is made of moldy
flour and cold storage eggs and rancid
butter.
We envy the woman who is snowy
and popular. We despair because of
some girl who trails through prom
enades with string of courtiers. We
want to have other women see that
we are admired. We want TO have
the men we honestly like see that a
lot of men whom we probably honestly
dislike admire us.
And for whose good is it all? Ad-
mirers are not always desirers. The
girl of one love affair is likely to
marry and marry far better than the
girl who, with a string of admirers
to choose from, selects the one who
most caters to her and who most
gracefully fatters her and passes by
the sincere affection that dares to look
at her with honest eyes and speak to
her with a true tongue.
How much difference does it make
in your life if people exclaim at your
marvellous dancing or compliment
your smartness of style, or envy your
long eyelashes2 Does any amount of
such aduitation give you one real.
lasting, worthwhile experience The
glow of appreciation is as useless 20
advance you in the world or to help
YOU grow in strength and ability as
is a soap bubble 10 stay forever on the
end OF a pipe mirroring a rainbow in
its heart
But the true admiration that honest
ability honestly eXerted wins-ah, that
is another matter.
Where the Difference Lies.
If you have dancing ability anc YOU
turn it to accOunt-either making a
livelihood through IL or teaching little
slum children grace and rhythmic ex-
pressiOn-f you achieve something
signal through this talent-yOu will
receive true admiration-and you viii
be too busy TO notice IL,
For there lies the gist of the whole
matter, some women play to the gal
lery-and they are far more interested
in the applause given To them than in
the consideration of what they have
done to win it, And some women are
doing WOrk-hOmc work. personal
work worlds WOrk-it matters not
which for their interest is in doing
we'll their task. They are not consid-
oring the hattery that might confuse
them as 10 real issues in their efforts
Thcy are considering the end of a Job
well done.
Ulysses had to stop his sailors ears
with wax and have himself tied to
the mast SO ne could safely pass the
SIRENS isle. There are a great many
Of us who are the wreckage in the
sea about the Siren islaud-there are
numerous craft drifting off the reefs
for no other reason than because they