The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1915-12-24

Oring your needs, which are known.
to the Hired Man. he will see that YOU
get enough wholesome food to nour-
ish your BROOD will show YOU how to
escape this awful bondage of anger
and fear, and will do his part to re-
store your affections for your off
springs, and will show you how to
start the year 1916 happy and peace
ful. Now will you do your part
Some one mark this paper and throw
it into the woman's yard
Young man is looking around to
find the best church in Caldwell to
join. He wants to start the New
Year right and does not want to get
mixed up with the wrong bunch"
Wants the Hired Man to set him
right The Hired Man is obligated to
be fair in this as in everything else.
Remember, every member of every
church everywhere once said to him
self you bet your life when l Join a
church l am not going to be like the
members | know, but | am going to
be the true blue kind" This Young
man should go watch the kiddies at
merry-g o-round. One will plank
down his nickel and straddle the
swan; another forks over his coin and
jumps on the elephant another pays
his money and climbs on the back of
the giraffe, another thinks LONG and
hard, rolls his nickel between his
thumb and fingers and thinks of the
chocolate cone it will buy. He konws
the giraffe boy and the swan bov
and the elephant boy are fools for de-
Gliding as they did. He hands over
his coin and steps into the sleigh
Now there is just as much difference
between the Caldwell churches. and
getting into them is precisely like the
Riddles at the merry-go-round. 1t
depends altogether where you are
standing as to which church is ahead
They must all pass the point where
the acid test is spattered on them.
Every one is saying there are good
folks in every church. They would
be with us if they only knew what we
know and did not know what they
think they know. So lets be charit-
able, for they may be as good as we
are" Those of you who are getting
ready to join church and be unusually
good, have the right idea. but one
year from the day you Join you will
see how it is.
The Hired Man has been told of
some charges that have oeen brought
by little boys against a young bust
ness man here in the CITY, These
charges are too unquestionable and
serious to talk about even in secret.
The Hired Man does not know
whether they are true. This will be
a bad thin~ if it gets out, for you are
highly connected here in the city.
You have a well-authenticated disease,
very rare, but fully described in doc
tor books. | cannot make advances
toward you, but if you want me to
help you out of the awful pit in which
you were consigned before your birth
and which rests perhaps generations
back, you need only to ask for my
help. 1t costs you nothing at all, ex-
cept for skilled work that cannot do.
and which must be paid for. 1t comes
up to doctors or physicians and is
then out of my hands. Don't be a fool
in addition to your other Affections.
Some little boys in one of the coun-
try schools have presented serious
charge against a fifteen-year-o boy
threatened to whip the little fellows
if they tell it. In order to shield the
little fellows, it might be we'll for us
all to watch the treatment that GER
tain big boys give little fellows. The
little boys need not be afraid to tell
all they know about anything that is
wicked toward themselves. They can
simply write letter to the Hired
Man. The big boy need not be afraid
for The Tribune has set out to do
more for bad boys than has ever been
thought of in Idaho before. 1t would
be wise idea for parents and teach
ers to encourage correspondence with
the Hired Man.
Mr.. and Mrs. Roy Maxev have the
dearest and charmingest little daddy
four years old that one gets to see in
a years time Mrs. Maxey has been
daily explaining to him the Lords
prayer. Lesson after lesson drills the
little fellow on some point of the won
derful meaning ever hidden in and vet
always apparent in the sweetest of all
literary productions carrying a reli-
gious nugget. The other dav Roy ac-
cidentally heard a man swearing. He
was all absorbed in it. His mother
called his attention quickly to some
thing else, but he had heard the oaths
and was Analysing them. What can
man mean who will say such awful
things" asked the disturbed mother
as she sought to wipe the blot from
her child's mind. The laddy had
reached his final analysis and said in
the suavest and perfectly deliberate
way: well, ! suppose he meant lead
us not into temptations" He was
done with the subject then.
The Tribune proper will not allow
the Hired Man to state in this depart
ment who is the best dentist in Cald2
well, and so the aged woman will
have to come to me on the quiet. For
the benefit of others we will say open
ly here that the best dentist will hide
his probes and tongs so the victim
will not get to see them; he will use
his power drill just as little as possible
and using some kind of hand gouge
that will not sound like two swarms
OF humble bees robbing an apiary, he
will talk sort of hypnotic stream of
soothing words and won't all the time