The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1915-06-21
By w. 3. POWELL of the Clearwater
(Fla.) Sun.

|
hair Straight Back like n Sea Lion,
dropped off of Number Six, South
bound at a certain Half Mast Dump
out on Spur Division somewhere be-
tween the Celery Belt and the Ever
! glades, where the Leading Citizens
Wore Gum Arctics with Big Buckles
and where Parched Corn, fabricated
with Photo Paste, was served at Sc
| lect Functions.
He was Welcomed to OurTown by Il
Large and Commodlous Audience
which packed the Amphitheatre of the
Railroad Loating Place. There was
the Gazook with black sweater who
operated the Ark which Navigated be
tween the Steel Rails and the Only
Hotel, two Giggling Milk-fed Girls out
for Mash; four Prominent Citizens
sitting back on their Surplus trying to
Hatch out Eight Per Cent. and eleven
leading pillars of High Society who
were there to Grab some express pack
| ages which contained Great Joy that
they could Lap Up faster than the
Revenue Officers could paste on the
Stamps.
'lsit" Is Its Name.
'lsit' was blazoned on both ends of
the Da-po. and Isit it was; destined by
Lurid Literature to become the New
York of Sub.tropical, Sun-Kissed Flor
ida.
1t WAS a Low, Rambling, Sheetiron
Cornicc. slab-sided sort of town. so
out of harmony with Nature that ii
couldn't be set TO Rag Time or Soma,
ia in Il Minor. 1t was a Lead Pipe
Cinch that it's Vcrtebra was Cata.
l0gued as Broadway,
1t was Blot on the Landscape af.
fictcd with an Eczema Of Architecture,
spotched with n Dull Wcather-B Beaten
Complexion and Running Sores like
Rotten Sidewalks and Galvanized
Awnings, Its G42 acres OF Various
and Assorted Weeds needed Manicur-
Ing. There were so many For Sale
Signs impaIing the climate that it
looked National Cemetery by moon
light.
Claude--for our heros name was
Claude-Claude DeShon-gave the Once
Over to the Human Mephitis Alcphitis
who navigated the Village Ok Cart;
passed up the Giggling Girls with
Contumely: scorned the Overtures of
the Eight Per Cent Night Riders. and
taking his bearings from the solitary
Coal Oil Glimmer which Pinkled SO
Pale at the end of Broadway, he Jig
sled his Carburetor. threw himself into
Low Gear and set his course little
East by So'east and went pulsating
into the Solitude of the Night.
He Was Man With Mission.
He had Mighty Mission to per
form.
While his Massive Thinktank was
Coming Suitable Approach to make
20 the Geezers of this Misiit Village
he collided with Il RazorbaclS employ
cd as Sanitary Officer. He had no
more than Apologized for his 0tfense
of Interfering with the Towns Chief
Rooter, than he I'loundcred into n Hog
Wallow. BY this time his Religion
was Cracked.
With Flat Tire and his Radiator
Bubbling over with Wrath he steered
into the Assembly Room of the Pal
ace Hotel, rates one dollar per, with
Weather
ST jerks, the prop. and gen. man,
WAS awaiting his coming. He had been
Awaiting the coming of some Weak
minded Victim all day. 81 ran Il liy-
cry. sale and feed stable in Coniunc-
ton with his Palace Hotel. You could
take your choice. He had Strange wills
lIcrs and IA Mackerel Eye, and Drank
Soda Pop when lie wanted TO be Dey-
ilish. The Palace was some hotel.
Even the Hound Dog, which was part
of the Furniture, howled when the
Dinner Bell called one to Partake. The
rooms were as big as n Telephone
Booth, and furnished like Box Stall.
Evening. stranger he spoke, shov-
ing Stubby Pencil into his Digits.
and pointing to the Register. My
rates be one dollar day, strictly terra
hrma."
Ha, Newspaper Man!
Evening. sir replied Claude, for he
was Feeling His Way, as he did not
know whether ST was a Leading Ga
looli or just n Plain Timeiiller. 81
want n Rabbit Warren where the Al
falfa is Deep. and by-the-bye you can
Lead me to the Fodder. For the night,
put me next to Pure Reading Matter,
Top of the Column. Crave Rest, for
my Soul is Tortured and | have Cal
iouses on My Conscience. have Ko-
lowed to your Sanitary Officer and
Chief Rooter; have Inspected your
Real Estate; been I.amped for Hard
ware Drummer by Loud Calicoes; been