davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
LITTLE FABLES OF THE
BUSINESS WORLD

the store.
The Maid was delighted-and Stuck
out her Finger for him to Do the
Rest. He did It-all the way through
without d Hitch, clear up to the We'd
ding March and Rice and Old Shoes
and Luggage appropriately Marked.
Then they returned and Settled Down
to Welded Bliss.
They found it. too.
But, also, Our Hero presently Dis
covered u Few Things he hadn't Reck-
oned in as part OF his Finish. To-
wit:
Two may live as Cheaply as One
but there's an Awful Difference in the
style of Living.
When Fellow Has to be at home
with :. certain Damsel every evening.
it's not near as Fascinating as Fear
ing she'll have Another Engagement
for even one Evening out of the
week.
Though Men Friends may be mere
ly Make Shifts or actually In the Way
and Deadly Embarrassing before mar
riage, they begin to Look Mighty
Good Company as the Honeymoon
Wanes.
a married woman wants her Hus-
band to have lots of Men Friends.
but she insists on Looking them over
and letting him see them in her Own
Home and not out where any Fritz
wants to know "Whatll YOU have
gentlemen"
After maria ge n Chap doesn't have
any Harder life than he did before
II just Seems Harder. He's really
Better OFF and Happier, but he doesn't
want to Admit 1t All the Time.
While he wouldn't be Single again
for anything. it's a question whether
Anything would induce him to, etc,
if he Again were Single.
Though he is by no means Finished
there are a whole lot of things which
Dan Cupid finishes for him.
Moral:-Not every marriage Turn,
ont this Way--sometimos they're
Worse
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

oEty. Some snow-this is the life!'
And he took turn or two up and
down the porch; SO. when Virgie
announced breakfast was ready he
needed no second call.
Now. always. it had been Mr.. Town
bred's custom on Sunday morning
Immediately after breakfast to, as
Mrs. Townbrcd phrased it. bury his
nose in the Sunday papcrs''-and woe
betide anyone who dared interrupt!
Yet, this morning, he really shocked
her by suggesting:
Lets take a walk, Frieda--it's too
fine a morning to stay in the house,"
YES. indeed" she replied instantly.
I've been wanting to ever since
first pecped out the window; but l
was afraid you'd want to read your
old papers"
Mr.. Townbred smiled. "Now that's
q funny thing, you know" he said.
In the city, on this kind OF a morn
ing, j admit that YOU couldn't drag
me out and away from my papers and
my pipe with fortyfoOt pole. one
look out the window and it would be
indoors for mine. But here in the
countrywide. there's something in
the air, isn't there, Frieda? Come on
put on old clothes and your high
boots and Wen make a regular tramp
Of it,"
And presently the Townbrcds were
swinging off down the road kicking
their toes in the snoW-drifts and skip
ping along like two kids. Gene, their
collie dog, came bounding after them
barking loudly and insisting that he
be allowed to 20.
come on, Gene. come on. old fell
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

N Man who. after a while, started
va certain Something-and his
~T Finish was Certain. But that
didn't make him one bit Mad; on the
contrary. if 1t hadn't have turned Out
that way he felt certain he would
have Done Something Desperate.
To begin with, he was I.ikable
Chap and Popular with the Boys.
though he didn't Weigh Much with
skirts. Stack nm up with a Bunch
of Good Fellows, however, and it was
a Different Story. From Soup to Nuts
he was there With the Punch. And
he was At Home in any Sport. in
doors or out. No Moss grew on him,
and the Boys could always Count him
IN at billiards. a sitting or at a
Talk-Fest where the phrase most fire.
quently heard was Make mine the
same. Fritz"
Once in while, when he just
couldn't Dodge, he'd 60 to a Party.
But He'd spend most of the Evening
talking to the Chaperones. AS a Fuss
ser he was a tine Extra Man. He
enjoyed the New Dances, when Other
People were Doing Them. His idea of
Bum Theatre Party was to have a
couple of Debutantes along-to have
TO Talk to between the Acts and so
prevent his Going Out for Drag at
a Cigarette. And as for Calling upon
| a Damsel OF an evening, why. he q
rather stay home and read last week
paper. Girls were just girls to him,
and he'd heard Of Il guy named Gu
| pid, but he'd never Met him.
Nherefor, when He was htt ne was
a resular Innocent Lamb about TO be
led to the Slaughter. he Fell For
! 1t Hard or. rather, for certain
Maid with eyes of Blue and hair OF
Gold and without any Red out of a
box on her checks. Head over heels
and then all the way over again
was about the way in which he Turn
| BLEED into the pool of Romance.
! His friends looked at him Anxious
". They couldn't Imagine WAT was
Biting him. Billiards. a Seven Hand
! ed Sitting, an evening at the Round
Table with Fritz lowering about
nothing seemed to Entice him. They
were Sore Puzzled, and they Begged
him to sec a Doctor.
He was-every night: though that
Treatment seemed to make him
Worse. Then, the Fellows Got Next.
Also, they Got Sore. A shame! a
Perfect Shame. TO think such a
Good Old Scout was going to Go Into
Slavery So they Argued with him.
But they might Just as Well have been
Tongue-Tied. Finally, they Gave him
Up and began to Save Up for Pres
ents.
Our Hero also Saved Up--for the
where withal to purchase his symbol
Of Slavery. And when he had finally
Corralled a hundred and fifty Plunks
, he stopped at a Fashionable Jewelry
Counter and beamed like a Cherubim.
Tho clerk was on the Job--and
helped him pick the latest style In
Symbols, Indeed. said clerk seemed
TO consider it almost as Good News
as though he himself had Inherited
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

"Do-do you mean the walk or the
sleigh ride?" she asked.
BOTH" declared Mr.. Townbred
promptly.
well, then, my dear" Mrs. Town
bred came back instantly, you'll have
to buy me Il sleigh"
"Oh!"
REALLY we ought to have one,
Ruthvin-one simply has to in the
country, you know.
Mr.. Townbred hesitated a moment
and laughed.
"Oh. very WELL" he said. Go ahead
1t may cost a little more to live in
the country-but it's worth 1t, my
dear, it's worth 1t! And be sure to
buy one with bells on"
Copyright. 1915, by Edward Riddle
PadgetO
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
Tan Runners
Now the Thing

"a OW that the bluebird runners for
~ the table have been somewhat
IL run into the ground-which
sounds like a play on words. but is
not meant to be-the housewife turns
with relief to new sort which have
just made their appearance in the
shops. These are of Belgian or Aus
TRAN linen in a warm shade OF tan.
and have woven in them about two
inches from the edge a narrow border
Of Kings blue. These new runners
are really very attractive. much hand
somer than the old ones. and launder
splendidly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

<TA tlE, Had dIOppcd in &c ,ahc tea
a. with u friend the other after
~ noon and found that person
e. sowing away busily in her liv-
ing room or some lengths of light
blue crepe dc chine
Making Il party gown FOR IL depu-
tantc?' askec the visitor. lightly.
"Dcar nee, no." returned her host
ens What debutante of this day
nnd age would wear pale blue. that
tint indicative OF the ingenuc. Debu-
lantec wear the shades beloved of ad-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
If So Read This Story
ndLearn Something
to YOurA duantdQc

That's just it," explained her
hostess, nodding her head sagely
That's the point. / went to a Fash
ion Show the other day and the
woman who was demonstrating the
absurd costumes that were shown
closed the exhibition with number
of the most charming negligees that
you ever saw. L am the friend OF
the middle-aged married man.. said
she. 1 show these things to induce
the wife of the middle-aged married
man to pay some attention to her lin
gerie. AS bride she delighted his
eyes with all sorts Of wonderful fril-
lies; her trousseau was rich IN lovely
kimonos and pcignoirs; but after
few years Of married life she spends
her allowance for clothes for the de-
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

sell.
Il can beat you to the big stump
down there!" cried Mr.. Townbred
suddenly. pointing down the road.
you can not" And, instantly
Mrs. Townhred was off.
Gene was the first to arrive, then
Mrs. Townbred, and last came Mr..
Townbred. just far enough behind to
lose with honor. They paused for
breath and laughter and then contin-
ued their tramp.
you know. Frieda," said Mr. Town
bred presently, I'm beginning to
think the people who say that the
real time to live In the country Is In
tho winter are right. or course we
haven't the many conveniences OF the
city. but there certainly are lot of
things that make up for them. The
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
BOUGHT HIMSELF A HAT

~lIl1 man went into a shop 30 buy
n himself hat and found all the
"a clerks busy. He fdgeted about
a bit but receiving no attention
from the engrossed statesmen he rum
mayed for himself, and finding what
he considered a personable hat in an
obscure corner he put it on his head.
Wriggled 1t round after the manner of
his sex, and finding it comfortable. ac-
costed a clerk who was selling his first
silk hat to blushing young creature
who was going to be an usher at
wedding next week.
Can you tell me the price Of this
hat. old top?" inquired the casual Gus
toner, genially.
Five dollars" answered the clerk.
Til take it and I'll Just wear 1t
home said the casual customer and.
handing over n banknote, he put his
old hat in his pocket and his new one
on and walked out as proud as a--wel!
as man in a new hat.
ITS creating quite lot of interest.
this hat" said the man to himself. as
he strobe along and noticed the many
smiling glances thrown in his direc-
ton.
At home he gave the college whistle
intended TO let his wife know that he
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

~ HAT she finds there is often con-
fusion in the minds of her con-
treres about the proper way 10
~ set a table. Once, she says, TWO
s4a,ers quarreled as to whether inc
edges or the backs of the knives
should be turned toward the plates
and did not speak to each other DUR
ing an entire dinner-party to the
great embarrassment of the guests.
For these reasons she gives here
the rules for setting the table: Put
the knives to the right Of the plate
with their edges turned toward it;
with these go the spoons. beginning
with the soup spoon and ending with
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
,1'E.ASOIJABlE JOTT|NGS,

~ HE pantalette which it was free
a ly predicted no sensible woman
"a would wear Is now patronized
" by all sorts and conditions OF
INC tair sex, sensible and nonsensical.
Ana sometimes when it is SO arranged
as to look like a narrow underskirt
ana Is trimmed to harmonic with the
gown with which it is worn, it is moro
attractive than you might think.
regular blessing to women Is tho
wash kid glove which not only really
can be Numbered but can be worn
after that process has taken place.
These hand-coverings once appeared
only in tho tan shades but now they
may be had in white also. and better
still In white with black stitching.
No matter how short the skirt to
an evening gown may be in front. It
Is considered quite de rigeur to wear
Il long. narrow, serpcntine train
with It.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

;enturesses on the stage. I'm making
myself Il pcignoir."
And at that she picked up a band
Of white fur which was lying near
BY and began busily to whip it in
he flowing sleeves.
And you these ten years married."
'riod tho friend, astOnishcd
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

location of the public and only too
often goes shabby in her homo and
in her bedroom
My dear, these remarks were as q
trumpet call to me. l came right
home from that show and went to
my room and inspected the kimono
7 have been wearing where Jim could
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
BIT Z his M an Did Not
Consult Il M1rror--
Hence the Disaster

was within and to bring her hurrying
to him.
"I'vo bought me n new hat" he
shouted when he heard her foot upon
the stair, come and admire"
She came and looked. Then she adj
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02
HIS FINISH WAS CERTAIN

~ IL II K + was once a certain Young
N Man who, after a while, started
VA certain Something-and his
%D Finish was Certain. But that
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

DIE man went Into a shop 30 buy
clerks busy He f1dgeted about
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1915-12-02

all, do wish [ hadn't walked a mile
uptown and met all Of my best friends
wearing my head size in large letters
on my brow. That was tough"
And the woman marveled, as any
woman would, at a sex that could buy
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07

ant riding qualities of the Maxwell The spring
suspension OF the 1915 Maxwell is the same costly
combination of long semi-elliptical front springs
and the three-quarter elliptic rear springs that
is used on most heavy weight, high priced cars.
The Maxwell offers you every essential OF the nigh
est priced machines st a fifth Of their cost.
Cue Sizs os Tire-AHti.Skids on Rear
The Maxwell car is Of the easiest cars in the
world on tires Maxwell owners carry but one
spare tire and but size OF spare tubes Econon-
ical 80 inch 81 inch tires used all around.
A famous make Of anti-skid tires are supplied
on rear wheels.
A Dependable Electric Starter
For $55 extra, you can have your Maxwell de-
l,varaf equipped with the famous Sirnms-Hun cleo
trio starter This starter is efficient trouble proof
and easily operated.
And the Maxwell is completely equipped from the
clear vision yentilating windshield at the front
to the spare tire carrier at the rear.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07

Attractive StreamIinc Body
Pure streamline body: graceful crown tenders.
with an riyeJs concealed All the grace style
and snap that you will ind in any OF the highest
priced cars.
A High Tension Magnetic
Nearly all the high priced cars have hish tension
magnetos a high tension magnetic gives peSiLye
ignition. The Snlms magnetic. with which the Max
we'll is equipped, Is recognized as one OF the osst
Iaagpstos made.
Left Side Drive-Central Control
Left side steer with gear shifting levers in center
OF driving OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES control---has been
accepted by leading makers Of expensive Rutomo-
bes as the safest and most comfortable for the
we'll is so easy to drive and control that calto
can handle 1t.
Tbree-Speed Sliding Gear Transmission
an high priced cars have sliding gear trans ans.
mission It is eostly make, ouS it Is the pest
If the motor has The power, sliding gears VIII
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
Read This List of Expensive Features.

pull the car out of any mud sand. The Maxwell
has threc-speed selectire sliding gear transmission
because Maxwell engineers 10 not consider any
other type to be worthy OF the Maxwell car.
DoubIe.Shell Radiator with Shock
Absorbing Device
The Maxwell radiator Is of handsome design.
gracefully curved and it is built to be trouble
proof. Il is the expensive double shell type ana
has ample cooling capacity. The radiator IS
mounted to the frame by means of a shock ah-
sorhsng device on each side. which relieves the
radiator of all twists and distortions OF the frame,
caused by roughness OF the road. Tic shock ab.
sOrbing device also ninilnzes the possibility OF
radiator leaks.
The Roomy Full 5-Passenfer Body
Adjustable Front Seat
body The front seat is adjustable, you can move
il three inches forward or backward. This makes
the car really comfortable for the driver. No
crsmped legs for tall people or uncomfortable
made to fit anyore---so At
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
Great Service Branches-54 Maxwell District G
well Dealers are always at the Service Of Those

from the maker of the car he drives. He
sometimes needs new parts, adjustments, etc.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
Low "Up-keep" Carburetor

Low ''Up-keep" CarburetOf
The carburetor used on the Maxwell was espec-
ially designed for 1t after long and severe tests
under every conceivable condition. Economy tours
conducted by hundreds of dealers and owners in
different sections of the country have proved tts
cfiiciency, its quick responsc tnrottle and its
extremely low consumption 0. caroline. II has
been termed the low up-keep c-i.dl esoI.
Irreyersible Steering Gear
The greatest margin OF safety has been pro-
yided in the steering gear of the 1915 maxwell
Tie Marseil irreveFsible steering mechanism Is
of the expensive worm and-gear type and its su-
pariority over every other type lies in its many
adjustments At no time is more than 3 fourth OF
the bearing surface Of the gear which operates
the worm in use. When needed, new bearing
surface may be had by adjusting the gear quarter
of turn In short the Maxwell steering gear
has four times the adjustment of any other kind.
Heavy Car Comfort
What surprises most people is the smooth. buoy
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
Offices More than 1000
Who Drive Maxwell Cars
MORE THAN 1000 MAXWELL DEALERS
ALWAYS AT YOUR SERVICE

ALWAYS Al YOUk SENVlCE
Each Of the Maxwell dealers In the
United States and Canada is an automobile
expert. Anyone Of chem stands ready at all
times to give advice and assistance to any
Maxwell owner. You can tour all of the
United States and Canada and should your
car require the attention Of an expert you
will find a Maxwell dealer near at hand. IL
you need replacement part, and the dealer
does not have it in stock, he can get it for
YOU from the nearest Maxwell branch within
a few hours.
Maxwell owners never have their cars
out Of service for days or weeks at a time
waiting for replacement parts.
The $685. Maxwell Wonder Car is the
greatest real automobile value ever offered.
The service that the Maxwell Motor Com
pany gives is not surpassed by the service
given by any other automobile manufacturing
organization in the world.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07

When you buy an automobile you buy
&wo kinds of service. First The service
given and guaranteed by the car itself.
a Second:-The service given by the maker
and the dealer while the car is in use.
The service the Maxwell car gives is
known. $4,000 satisfied Maxwell owners
have given the car the rough and tumble acid
TEST Of fully eighteen months service. The
Maxwell has shown that il is able TO stand
up under the severest use. In cities, over
country reads, shrough mud and sand and up
the at8epest mountains, the 1915 Maxwell
has made good for $4,000 owners.
TIE SERVICE THAT TIE Maxwell
MOTOR COMPANY GIVES
The service that the Maxwell car gives
cannot be questioned. Amy automobile
owner from time to time requires service
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
Something Gained.

Something Gained.
That was an awful case of pto~
maine poisoning you had and the doe
tor says he never saw such cheer
ful and resigned patient in his life
Well, you see. knew something
the doctor didn't was missing :
family reunion ct the time"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
81 MAXWELL. DISTRICT OFFICES

81 Elcxrceu District Offices are main
tanned in leading cities. This means 81 Dis
trict Managers, each with corps of assist
ants A greaf big part Of the work of this
armv of skilled men is TO see that Maxwell
dealers give real Maxwell service to Maxwell
owners.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1915-05-07
Is GREAT MAXWELL SERVICE
BRANCHES

The Maxwell Motor Company takes care
Of Maxwell owners by maintaining rs great
MaeuoeU Service Branches. These branches
are in great cities which have been selected
in such q manner as to thoroughly cover the
United States They can deliver parts to
any Maxwell dealer or Maxwell owner within
"a fen hours.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-06-10
SATURDAY

The Trail of the Upper Yukon.
Two reel northwestern drama featur-
ing Ben Wilson and Dorothy Phillips.
relates exciting story of the love of
three men for one woman.
"When Her Idol Fell 80 Nestor one
reeler with Lee Moran and Victoria
Furde.
UAnip,ata1 WaaLlv -
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-06-10

We are glad you did, and we take this
means of thanking you and of telling
you that we have many more of the
same class of pictures coming, which
you can see every Tuesday and Friday
at this theatre. Of course. they are not
all Mary Pickford pictures, but they
are those having such stars. as Hobert
Bosworth, Dustin Farnum. Henrietta
Crossman, Edward Ables, Marguerite
Clark, Max Figman, David Higgins,
John Barrymore, Tyrone Powers, Theo-
dore Roberts. Bessie Barriscale, Will
lam Farnum. House Peters, Maclyn
Arbuckle, Edith Taliaferro, Gaby Des-
lys aud Blanche Sweet, etc. Think of
the quality and variety that Paramount
service offers you by having these high
Salarled stars on their list to choose
from for their productions.
On our special days, starting stomor-
row, we will open the ticket window at
$50 in the evening and start the show
at Z, on Tuesday and Friday
nights. Matinee starts $50, as usual.
he best advice we can give is to
come early to be assured of a goud seat.
And that prompts US to say that we
have moved our screen back toward the
wall, which gives us that many more
good eats and increases the size of our
picture.
Again we say. Don. forget that we
show Paramount pictures every Tues
day ard Friday.
Special next Tuesday, "The Man
From Mexico. FIVE reel comedy
drama featuring John Barrymore.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-06-10
Friday

His Last Dollar. Paramount spe-
cial. The famous racing play featuring
David Higgins in his original role. An
elaborate and spectacular film version
of the greatest racing play ever pro-
duced in America. The drama of a
thrilling futurity race for a fortune and
a heart
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-06-10
AT new ELECTRIC
To-day

What Blind Man Saw" The two
reel photo play which delineateS the
deception practiced on blind man by
his heartless wife and of his final dis
covery of her deception. Starring Sid.
ney Ayers and Doris Pawn.
Framed. A one reel Powers
drama.
Fifty Fifty" An Imp comedy fea-
turing King Baggott.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1915-06-10
HinrichS Will Filed For Probate

The will of the ate:John W. Hinrichs
was filed for probate in the county
court here Tuesday morning. The esti-
mated value of the estate is approx
mately $50, 600, consisting to large
extent of notes. bank stocks and other
such securities. Mrs. Eliza f. Hin
richs, the widow, and Copley d. Hin
richs, the elder son, are named as ex-
ecutOrs.
Mr.. Hinrichs bequeathed to his wife
the home'place west of the city. five
shares of First National Bank stock,
several Other. items of shares and notes
to the value of SO, 500. The remainder
of the estate was divided between the
three children.