The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-07-24
SEAMY Side OF
EVERYDAY LIFE
PathOS and HumOr as. Seen in
the Police Court.
StereOtyped Answers Given by
Prisoners at the Bar.
lInnE In nhIIEn Am nnIAnT
JUDGE is CALLED Mr.. COURT
Every Woman a "Lady" at
Fifth and Jackson.
"Bad Man" Wanted in Seven
States, Merely a Cook.

To the man who sits in police court
every day it becomes apparent that
human frailties, thougs possessed of
a thousand ra notifications, run in never
changing channels. Little minds as
well as great ones, flow in cOinciden-
tai courses the same questions are
asked every day and the same an
swers given. although the pale rays of
morning sun that struggle through
the barred windows of the police
holdover shine on a different set of
countenances every day. There is pa
thos, of course, vet the frequent Wis
itor soon baginS to observe ia Their the
humor that bubbles up through the
tragedy-tke funny side of ignorance.
Are you guilty of Vagrancy?" a
negro boy IS asked.
mo, Judge" he replied, Il never
done that in my life
A Hebrew asking for continuance
says: Il want my case discontinued"
An icemGn in teStifyiEg addresses
the Judge as Mr.. Court
Negroes, in relating that a police
man appeared, always say: The law
came"
When a man is accused of robbing a
stranger in town the thief always
says: Judge, L don't know that man
and he don't know me. l never saw
that man before in my life
The word woman is unknown in
police court. officers and offenders
alike avoid using the word. The fire.
quency with which the word lady" is
heard would lead one to suppose that
it was an introduction at court-a
royal court instead of police court
Cursed Something Awful
''All L know about it," a witness
said one morning, was that 1 heard
some one call police, police and
when L got there this lady. had this
gentleman down and was stamping on
iS I
cursed me something awful. Then
she got my thumb in her mouth and L
had to crack her over the head twice
to make her let CO.
who did you say cursed you?" the
judge inquired.
This lady, sir
A very meek looking man appears
before the judge with lump on his
head and a patch of hair missing.
over him towers a pink-faced, smiling,
mountainous policeman.
'tAll right, officer, what did this
man do" the judge asks.
Your honor, L found him last night
about IL o'clock up at Tenth and the
avenue. He had his snoot full and was
talkin' loud and cursing. L told him
to so home and he turned on me. He
told me he was a bad man and was
wanted in seven states for murder,
burglary and Jail breaking. He said
all the police in Topeka couldn't ar
rest him, so 1 gave him crack over
We'll, what have you got to say
the judge asked.
I'm a pastry cook. I work every
day and have a wife and nine chill
dren- L was drinking yesterday and L
guess I got little too much"
well, you've been locked up over
night. I'll give you a fine and then
parole you. Go home to your nine
children
Always the Same Answer.
The man who was Knocked down and
)0ad of his watch always has the
same answer to the question.
What were you doing in that part
of town at that time of the night?
Il was just skylarking around"
The prisoner who makes this re-
joinder to every question addressed to
him by the jucSe: Who? Me? Why,
I'll tell you" appears every day.
Another line heard every day is
this:
.'She told me to come out in the
alley and fight. L told her no, l
wouldn't fight. Judge, 1 don't never
fight anybody. I'm too much OF
lady
What the police call ''mush fakes"
and .'yegg burglars" put acid on their
hands to burn the palms to make them
look callouscd. Thus they pose as
working men when herded into court
charged with VagraHcy.
Cocaine users never will tell where
they get the drug. I he dope" habit
destroys All lIelI BlOIdi pOWSIS. IIAelfA-
ing them thieves, liars and weaklings,
but they always stand firm in conceal
ing the source of their supply
There was n negro lawyer a good
many years ago who formerly had
large police court practice among the
people of his race yet never did his
clients any good. His conduct" of
case was always the same and consist
ed of asking three questions:
''Officer. where did you arrest this
man.
.sW ha-wha-what time of day was
that, Officer"
eWhat was his condition. was he
drunk or sober?',
That's all.
Perhaps the negro clients fancied
they got IS worth in this mystic for
mula. and it was easy for the at
tOrOev"