davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
THE YoUNGsTER

From the Washington Star. Of course, he's not to blame,
 This youngster that I know. But l resent him just the same,
 And long to tell him so, Though frank his smiles and clear his
 eye.
 l glance into the past. And see him as in days gone by That boy is growing fast. I knew him when he couldn't walk. When his relations heard His first attempts at human talk
 What wonderment was stirreds His qualities bid fair to make
 A future bright and vast. And yet feel it's a mistake
 For him to grow so fast. Oh, why should he not finger there
 As I would fain have done, Where youth is ever gay and fair
 And life seems only fun? why should his face seem strangely grave,
 With thoughtfulness o'ercast? Why won't that busy youth behave
 And not grow Np % fast ..,f & a |
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
WAR ECHOES

Kansas City Star: You can't pick up newspaper without finding some reference to a blow to the liquor business. The Rus sian government has virtually suppressed it. The French government is restrict ing it. The English chancellor of the ex- ehequer declares that it is a stronger foe than any that England is fighting on the battlefield.
 This is a utilitarian age, and every where drinking is being attacked, not on the ground of morality. but on the ground of efficiency. The question is be- coming one of business. England can't do its job in war so long as Englshmen are demoralzed by drink
 Of course, the fact is-in spite of the statement of liquor dealers handbooks to the contrary-that drink reduces the efti- ciency of every nation, in peace just as much as in war.
 Louisville Courier-J ournal: One thing that has become increasingly apparent these last few weeks is that the allies campaign at the Dardanelles Is not to be the sudden and smashing affair that was hoped for at first. Aside from the haras- sing weather conditions encountered in the straits, progress has been impeded by less fortuitous clements which the allies most certainly were understanding when they predicted that they would enter Con- stantinople before Easter
 Chief of these is the strength of the outlying forts; the superstition had grown up during this war that fortihca- lions of all sorts were of small value Tn the fact of modern instruments of assault I.iege and Namur did much to contribute to this belief; the forts in the straits are doing much to upset it. The inconVen- fence from mines, also. has been greater we may believe, than was expected py the allies commanders. Their mine sweeping equipment is ample and active, and in time will clear the path for the fleets of destruction; but it has been slow going and costly. Their difficulties in this department are not yet past, and in all probability it will be some days pefore they can sail as blithely up the straits as they had hoped.
 To these impediments must be added the surprising efficiency of the Turkish air men. who, on the whole, have shown as striking a piece of service in this depart ment a. the war has yet afforded. The ac- tivity of the Russian fleet in the bos- porus conceivably may hasten matters somewhat but up to the present there have been no striking successes In that quarter. Conflicting reports from their ac- tivity in the Black sea leave in doubt the measure of effectiveness that may be ex- pected from their bombarding powers.
 All in all, it appears that the Dardaneiles campaign Is to be one of the dragging af- fairs of the war, whereas a swift ana spectacular issue was predicted Tor It. The importance of it's capture, however. IS noIitical rather than immediately strat- egic. It will be difficult and tedious business, but there is small doubt that the end of the war will find Constantinople in the hands of the allies This is the inn portant thing-not its immediate capture.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
LIMITED DISSIPATION.

LIMITED DISSIPATION.
 E. H. Andrews of the Union Central Life Insurance company says he was mak- ing an examination of small. hen-pecked little man for some insurance.
 You don't dissipate, do you?" asked the physician, as he made ready for the tests. Not a fast liver or anything of that sort?'
 The little man hesitated a moment, looked bit frightened. then replied in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
PACKAGE FOOD THE BEST
From Leslie's.

From LeSleS.
 Foodsl A circular issued by the com mittee on food supply, appointed by Mayor Mitchell of New York city, de- clares that the prices asked for food in packages are exorbitant, and advises the public to purchase cereals, tea, crackers, bacon, macaroni, fruits, beans, peas, etc, in bulk. The committee says that in package shape certain commodi- ties cost more. It comedies that the package makes the food seem more ap- petizing," and says that "most of the packages are air tight and dust proof and for sanitary reasons a great many people prefer food that is done up in packages" This really settles the mat ter in favor of the package The well known brands of packaged foodstuffs may be relied upon to be clean and wholesome. Many a housewife has bought things in bulk only to find them tainted and unpalatable. The containers of pacakeged goods keep out the dust dampness and vermin, and the food they protect is always in good condition. In many households the package is great convenience. Modern apartments gen orally offer scant space for the storage of food. The housewife, therefore, has to buy in moderate quantities, and the finds the paclSaged food containers fit into her cupboard readily. When she
 gives an order for standard article, a house wife knows just what to ex- pect; it is certain always to be sweet and eatable As MT. Sig Fieux says in Printers Ink: "The demand for package goods was not created by the manufac. turers. It was literally forced upon them by the consumers demands for articles that would reach them in a clean, wholesome manner.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Why not let Harry Thaw have a permanent furlough from Mattewan and send up in his place the man who gives such crazy names to the Pull : man cars? Thaw's already served a long time and the Pullman fellow we're talking about evidently never has been in, for the crop of freaxish names on cars continues with unabated regularity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
\ Bright Comedy

"The Amicitia club, a philanthrophic organization, composed of young girls who are working for the support of one of the patients at the Anti-Tuberculosis camp, will present The Conspirators,' a bright comedy, in two acts, at the Margaret AL len school next Friday night at S:3O o'clock, and it will be well worth seeing, ; said a professional man.
 '"rhe play will be given under the di- rection of Miss Anita Eustis. I bespeak for the young ladies large attendance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

tentment, happy-home, shady nook, story book and hammock sort of a name, it seems to us that General Villa is raising considerable of General sherman's sym onym for war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

there are hundreds of farmers who are entirely independent of merchants and also there are hundreds of merchants who not only do not borrow from banks, but discount their bills. The parcel post helps the country merchant in keeping up cer- tain lines of his stock without carrying large quantities"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
The Jackson Highway Work

q am glad that the Chamber of Com merce is going to help the Alabama Daughters of 1872 in the Jackson high way work" said a prominent citizen.
 'It was in May, 1911. that the Daugh- ters of 1912 of Alabama launched their work before the public. They thought it moro practical and appropriate to work to create the sentiment in an edu- cational way to build big trunk line from Chicago to New Orleans, splitting the middle basin, as a monument to An drew Jackson, than to work to build a marble monument And they have been most successful in creating an interest all along the route. The commercial bodies of Indianapolis and Daughters of 1912 of Indiana have indorsed the work, as did Mayor Harrison of Chi cago, and the Illinois Daughters of 1872
 "In fact all of the commercial bodies boards of trade, business mems league patriotic societies, county and state of- ficials, and public spirited citizens of the states have indorsed their work Their plan is feasible, practical, and sensible County to county, state to state, all the people to share in the interest and benefit by this great en- terprise. An effort of this vast magni- tude means work-hard work, long per- sistent work, with no let up in the in terest or agitation.
 "The route is from Chicago to Indian- apolis; Indianapolis to Louisville; right over the old Louisville and Nashville tI,r mi lxa ta T., h I farm. That streth of 40 miles is the Lincoln Way link in the Jackson high way, on down the pike to Mammoth Cave, Bowling Green, on to Nashville (either by Galatin or Goodletsville. whichever route Is the most practicaD, ], out to the Hermitage, back to Nashville. Mrs. Willis J. Hitzings has been ap- pointed by the Ladies' Hermitage asso- citation as chairman of the Jackson highway through Tennessee. You know | that the Ladies' Hermitage association is power in any organization work The route follows over the old pike down to Franklin, Columbia, Pulaski. | to the Alabama state line, to Athens and Decatur, where they have already pet1tioned Congress Cor have prepared bill to petition Congress) for an ap- propriation to build Jackson Memor- ial bridge across the Tennessee river at Decatur, Ala, on down through Bir- mingham to Montgomery. It would not be a. north and south road if it did not go to Montgomery, the cradle of the Confederacy, nor would 1t be genuine Jackson highway if it did not go through Mobile and end inNew Orleans. There should be mass meeting called to support the Jackson highway organ ization."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Chicago policeman was recently in- dicted on the charge of highway robbery holding up man named Johann Pretz- elmskiwasser. Perhaps it is not right for a policeman to mix robbery with his work with such a name, isn't it a mitigat ting circumstance?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Since the federal law prohibiting the sale of habit-forming narcotics has be- come effective isn't there danger that morphine and such dope will be a drug on the market?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Will somebody kindly tell us what has become of John Lind and Nelson O'Shaughnessy? They used to get on the first page every day and now we can't even find them mentioned on the market page
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Verify, the way of the fighter is hard Many states have put the lid on booze nshting, and now little old Nevada comes along with a ban on prize fighting. If we don't look out we're going to have uni versal peace thrust upon us before we know it
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Seven wonders of the world have long been on record The eighth one probably is why the porter on Pullman car al- ways gives your shoes a coating of some- thing that looks like dull stove polish in- stead of carrying some of the glint of the silver quarter he expects you to hand him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

When the people of Birmingham read the accounts of the terrible blizzard on the Atlantic coast from Virginia to New England they are glad they live in the sunny south.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
BEGINNING

BEGINNING THE DAY My Father; may I rest in Thee morcs may I be silent unto Thee; may | be dumb before Thee. May I have less complaining before Thee and more communing with Thee. May I talk to Thee less and listen to Thee more. Speak to me in the way, comfort me, guide me. For Christ'a sake. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
SAME OLD STORY.

SAME OLD STORY. In April you read Lussier's stuff About a fielder who can't huff fly or let a grounder by. In May he isn't quite so good, He should lay bricks for livelihood And let another fielder try. In August he is awful bad. Tryout he should have never had. He's lost his pep and vim. When September rolls around His name in lineup can't be found. They've tied the can to him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Judging by the bunch of money the Rev. Billy Sunday is said to have taken out of Philadelphia at the close of his revival there, the price of sal yation is running close race with the cost of beefsteak and eggs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

This is the time of year when the city man dreams of "back to the land," but merely lands back at his office desk after the dream is over
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

The war may be over before Italy decides to go in. But if she can keep out and accomplish through diplomacy all she seeks so much the better.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Harry Jones says that while in east Alabama last week he spent a very rest less night in a country hotel. On coming down to breakfast the next morning ths proprietor met him in the office and asked; Did you get enough sleep last night?s
 Sleep? I didn't sleep at all What in the world are your mattresses stuffed with?"
 Stuffed with? Why the very bes, straw we can get"
 An, now I understand" answered Jones.
 Understand what?"
 Why, where that straw came from that broke the camers back
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Just because 8 man happens to make wry face once in while need not be taken as an indication that he isn't a consistent prohibitionist.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

There's nothing so bad but that it might not be worse. For instance, let us be thankful that U-2S is not W-2S
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Clothing men are right on time with their displays of spring hats for men, but the bows are still behind.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

"A went down B-4 odds which many another Al boat could not have survived. Ocean fate in war times is not always B-9
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

There was more interest in the Will lard-Johnson prize fight yesterday than in the European war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

No matter how much the prize fight may be outlawed, when one does take place it has the right of way as news matter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
HAVE oNEl

HAVE ONEi fore the town goes dry or dead I'll help some night to paint it red. d if we do, like many others , won't use any water colors
 HIS AMBITION. Our only son,
 Alasl Alack Has great desire To drive a hack.
 Youngstown Telegram. Give thanks for that, The little cuss- Might want to drive A jitiney bus.
 Gainesville Telegraph. To our young son
 Such thoughts are vain, He wants to drive An aeroplane.
 -Cleveland-Glenville Times. You are much blessed, lis plainly seen. Suppose he drove
 A submarine? STD.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

In the days of high-priced eggs it is distinction rather than a humiliation to be a hen-pecked husband.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
Mark for Dog Catcher

q wonder when the dog catcher will really begin his work?' said the owner of 8 tagged dog.
 ''Weeks ago I paid $1 tax on my dog; March 1 it was raised to $1.50, with a notice that all who did not tag their dogs would be arrested and fined. Now, this city is infested with untaxed dogs; some of them a public nuisance on the prominent business corners of tue city. These dogs are, to a degree, menace to other dogs-in the danger of inocula- tion with rabies and correspondingly, of hydrophobia as to human beings. It is common knowledge that the city has let the dog tax collection to man who, after the city receives s5OO0 is to divide the remainder, share and share alike. What I wish to know is. why this dog catcher doesn't do something to earn his part of the money, other than an occa- sional small, inexpensive newspaper mo- tice of impending fines?
 During the past week I counted three bulldogs on the street untagged, and more, unmuzzled; also one Great Dane, ibid. Two children have been bitten by bulldogs during the past three weeks in Birmingham. The veterinarians say that more bulldogs head and heads of collies are sent to the Pasteur laboratory in Montgomery than of any other breeds; that the bulldogs predominate in the greater number of well defined cases of rabies, with collies next.
 "The city commission should also put some restrictions on peddlers and others who carry one or more dogs about with them-running wild-largely of the cur class; dogs that are always looking for scrap Such dogs could, and do, scatter rabies far and wide. For be it known that, in some cases, it may be months before the bitten animal devel- ops rabies, or the person hydrophobia." !"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

It is almost time for hog Jowl and mus tard greens. Oh, joy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

War news will be dryer than ever now since England has gone on the water wagon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
PRoYERRIAL STRAW

a small piping voice: T sometimes chew
 a little gum"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Why should we in our peevish oppo' sition take 1t to hearts Hamlet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Tuscaloosa News: A new tack hammer which has container in the handle for tacks, will prove a boon to humanity if it prevents the spilling of tacks on the bedroom floor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
SYD'S SCRIBBLINGS
SAFETY E1p sr

SAFETY FIRST. Juiy the first will soon be here Ana then good-by Wy and b-r. IL we nlled those blanks, they'd take our
 scads e1i Because we published l-r ads. Know a man whose nose is red Hes staying home under the bed. Hes scared to death of a big fine. He can't take down his Wy sign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

It seems odd not to hear from Cole Blease any more.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
Because we published l-r ads.
HE WAS IT

He ran lightly up the steps of a beauti- ful home on Highland avenue and gave the ben an impatient yank.
 The door was opened by a new maid who had never before seen the young
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Selma Journal: Bob Fitzsimmons, one time heavy weight champion of the world, is running Nat Goodwin a close second on getting married. He recently took to himself his fourth bride. Seems like they knock him out with frequency and regu- larity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Columbia Weekly News: Diversihcation is taking hold of our farmers with a vim and the various crops that will be grown this year ought to furnish fine display for the October fair in our neighboring city.
 Andalusia Star: If they don't find our overcoat at Birmingham and send it back next winter will be cold one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Troy Messenger The Young Mems Christian association organiza tions of the state conducted educational institutions of Michigan have arranged to cooperate in advocating a state prohibition bill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06

Dothan Eagle: All we want in this wide wide world is one lick at the ground hog
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
tn in?" he demanded.

''Yes. sir" said the girl; but she's en- gagged, sir
 I know it, he replied; I'm what she g engaged to-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1915-04-06
ALABAMA PRESS

Anniston Star: From London it's long way to Tipperary, and it looks as if it will soon be longer way to Tom and Jerry.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1915-04-23
Commissions to equaIlze the rates as
between agricultural and other classes
Of freight without disturbing the rates
on staple farm products.
What Is a Fair Rate2

We do not know what constitutes
basis for rate making and have nevel
heard of anyone who did claim te
know much about 1t, but II the pros
perity of the farm Is a factor to be
considered and the railroad commits
sion concludes that an increase In
rates is necessary, we would prefer
that It come to us through articles OF
consumption on their journey from
the factory to the farm. We would,
for example, prefer that the rate on
hogs remain as at present and the
rate on meat bear the increase, for
any farmer can then avoid the burden
by raising his own meat, and a farm.
er who will not try to raise his own
meat ought to be penalized. We
think the rate on coal and brick can
much better bear an increase than
the rate on cotton and flour. We
would prefer that the rate on plows
remain the same, and machinery.
pianos and such articles as the poor
er farmer cannot hope to possess bear
the burden of increase.
The increase in rates should be SO
arranged that the farmer who lives
at home will bear no part Of the bur.
den, but let the farmer who boards
in other states and countries and
who feeds his stock in foreign lands.
pay the price OF his folly.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1915-04-23

the American farmer and from the
viewpoint of the producer, would seem
to Justify extraordinary relief meas
ures, even to the point Of bending the
constitution and straining business
rules in order to lift portion of the
burden off the backs of the farmer,
for unless something is done to check
the invasion of the war forces upon
the cotton fields, the pathway Of the
European pestilence on this continent
will be strewn with mortgaged homes
and famine and poverty will stalk over
the southland, filling the highways of
industry with refugees and the bank
ruptcy court with prisoners.
All calamities teach us lessons and
the present crisis serves to illuminate
the frailties Of our marketing meth
ods and the weakness of our credit
system, and out of the financial an
guish and travail of the cotton farmer
will come volume of discussion and
a mass Of suggestions and finally
solution of this, the biggest problem
in the economic life of America, II,
indeed, we have not already laid the
foundation for at least temporary re-
lief.
More Pharaohs Needed In Agriculture.
Farm products have no credit and
perhaps can never have on a perma.
nent and satisfactory basis unless we
build warehouses, cold storage plants,
elevators, ETC., for without storage and
credit facilities, the south Is com.
| PEELED to dump its crop on the market
at harvest time. The Farmers Unions
! in the cotton producing states have
for the past ten years persistently ad-
vocated the construction of storage
facilities. We have built during this
period 1000 warehouses with ca
pacity of approximately 100000 bales
and looking backward the results
would seem encouraging, but looking
forward, we are able to house less
than one-third of the crop and ware.
houses without a credit system lose
80 per cent of their usefulness. The
problem is a gigantic one-too great
for the farmer to solve unaided. He
must have the assistance of the bank
er, the merchant and the government.
In production we have reached the
high water mark Of perfection in tho
worlds history, but our marketing
methods are most primitive. In the
dawn Of history we find agriculture
blowing with forked stick but with
a system of warehouses under govern
mental supervision that made the
Egyptians the marvel of civilization,
for who has not admired the vision of
Joseph and applauded the wisdom of
Pharaoh for storing the surplus until
demanded by the consumer, but in
this age we have too many Josephs
who dream and not enough Pharaohs
who build.