The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1915-11-20

| TdDD1IS Will come and drink II all up
| before daylight and they will be found
short distance away in such a state
OF lntoxication that they can be gath
cred up without trouble.
| The alleged rabbit-pie, served out
! at hotels and restaurants is made only
of mutton and is an insult to Bunny
and should be stopped by the law.
"A rabbit has been known to live
/ to the age of eight years, but he was
| owned by an old maid who. fed him
on taffy and gave him a feather pill
low to sleep on. The average life may
be given at four years. At the end of
| that time he has had fun enough to be
glad to go.
The rabbit fur can be so dyed that
a garment made of it can be called OF
| ter, beaver lynx, mink or seal skin and
the animal is not praised as he should
| be.
The rabbit has no tail to speak of.
Nature made him thus that he might
not be caught and held fast while 60
ing through thicket of thorns.
HIS large ears were placed on his
mules.
ANY one carrying a rabbits foot
around In his hind pocket is sure to
! have good luck"
Mr.. Bowser silently folded the man
uscrlpt and returned 1t to his pocket
and looked at Mrs. BoWSer and asked:
can you deny that the gentleman
gave me bright idea and that I have
not worked it up to the best advan-
tage?"
Mr.. Bowser." said she in reply
| you might have both hind pockets
and all other pockets in your clothing
stuffed full of rabbits feet and they
would not be sufficient to get that ar
t1cle accepted even by a family al
| manaci"
By George, woman, what are you
saying!" he exclaimed.
Keep cool, sir-keep cool! Don't go
| TO shouting ReSturinp or nm
duly excited. If the editor of the
Naturalist should ever receive such a
| contribution and he had a supply of
pens and inks handy, and had a lit
tie time to write. he would answer:
1t Is estimated that the rabbits of
the United States pull down and de-
YOUR at least one thousand persons
year.
mo rabbit is ever yet known to eat
mince pies. They prefer custard pies
The hind legs of a rabbit are the
ongest as you ought to- have known
They were made thus that he could
climb a tree wrong-end to, an Ne
IL ready to come down again V
oromptness and dispatch If alarmed
GU are mistaken about the nun
! Der OF offsprings at a birth. 1t is or
nunored and fifty instead of thirty
two. This is that the rabbit may il
time crush out all of the beef trusts.
Not rabbit was ever satisfied wit
running fifty miles an hour He starr
Cd right off the mark at a pace of
hundred and twenty-five. If there
were two dogs after him, he went SC
fast that the human eye could not de
-ect him.
'All the rabbits in Ohio and Mich
igan swim across Lake Erie twice :
day for the fun of the thing.
No rabbit with any self-respec
would get drunk on sweet cider. Yo1
must set out Old Rye or dry cham
pagne.
Your rabbit pies of the restaurant
and hotels not only contain mutton
but beef hash, ham hash, veal hash
. or other kinds of hash The rabbit
needn't feel insulted at the name.
Mature did not give the rabbit
tai, because he was the last ANNA
made and there were no tails to spare.
RABBIT was given large ears not
Tor ornament, but that he might hear
All the gossip going on in the woods.
You may have observed many women
with ears almost as large.
AS to rabbits feet bringing good
iuck' more than ten thousand men are
cts stuffed with the tokens. Better
carry around with you the tip of a
donkey's tail"
That's what he would think of your
bright idea, Mr.. Bowser," said Mrs.
Bowser as she finished
Mr.. Bowser sat with his mouth
half-open and the glare of a ferocious
panther in his eyes, but he answered
never a word
You had better have written of the
rhinoceros in Africa for you know as
much about him as you do of the rab-
bits of the United States.
There was q decided twitch to Mr..
Bowser's ear like a horse that is try
ing to make out a sound.
I'VE have three different works on
Natural History in the house and yet
you nave never opened one of them.
You broadly state that his fore legs
are the longest Our butcher has half
a dozen hanging outside of his door
every day. One glance of your eyes
would have told you that you were
wrong. All the other statements in
your article are equally as absurd
In fact, Mr.. Bowser-''
yes, my lady, in factl" repeated
Mr.. Bowser as he rose up and started
for the hall tree.
Are you going out?'' was asked
There was no answer. Mr.. Bowser
got into his overcoat and hat and
banged the front door after him. He
was not going to hunt the ferocious
rabbit nor let the rabbit hunt him,
but he wanted to walk and think over
that bright idea which the gentleman
had SO kindly given him and which
Mrs. BowSer had jumped on with both
feet. As he walked, he brought up
at the drug store on the corner. He
didn't enter the store, but stood out
side bumped over and became a for
lorn husband. The druggist saw him
through the window ahd came to the
door and asked:
"Bowser, is there anything wrong?"
Nav" was the gruff reply.
"I thought there was, old man, from
your looking so used up. I think l am
right. I think you and Mrs Bowser
have had a discussion and you have
come out of it with the less of one
leg. as usual. Go home, Bowser-go
home and be glad that you have got
such a smart wife."-(Copyrighte
1915, by Mcclure Newspaper Syndi-
cate.)