The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1915-07-08
C-YoU'RE IT.
By Kssns


The Real Dope
FIRST INNING: McGinnity out via the air
route, left garden. Kelly stalled and drew four
bad ones On the first heave he pilfered the key
stone sack. Smith breezed the ozone. No hits
no runs-no errors q
AS The High-Brows Would Have 1t
A young gentleman by the name of Mr..
Timothy McGinnity batted an extremely
high hit ball to the extremities of the
arena. An exceedingly agile chap in
Royal Blue uniform with white stockings
made an extraordinary difficult run and,
with his back to the multitude gracefully
protruded his right arm and miraculously
manipulated the spheroid. In the event
that he had been unsuccessful IN negoti-
ating this marvellous and exacting feat.
presumably the gentleman who had caus-
ed his bludgeon to come in contact with
the spheroid would have been running
yet.
The next player to face the opposing
teams pitcher was one Michael 0. Kelly.
Eliminating the fact that Mr.. Kelly's
knee-trsusers were torn and the perspir-
alton streaming thru his shirt, he made
progressing appearance while standing
at the plate. Vainly did he attempt to
strike at the ball. Ultimately the gentle
man in the blue Norfolk Suit whom OBJ
viously was vehemently disllked by each
individual player and likewise by the
crowd assembled. majestically waved his
right arm and Mr.. M. o. Kelly thereupon
proceeded nonchalantly and inadvertent-
ly in the direction Of first base.
When the pitcher indifferently assumed
to hurl the next ball for the batter TO hit,
Mr.. Kelly. with the extreme agility of q
panther, scurried in the direction of the
base which occupied the center of the
arena. After arguing pro and con in an
excited manner during which divers pop
bottles were broken in said arena, it be-
came visibly apparent, Judging from the
satisfied expression on the countenance of
Mr.. Kelly. that the gentleman ensconsed
in the Norfolk Suit had affirmed Mr.
Kelly's captains contention, l. e.. that he
had reached his destination before the
gentleman on the opposing team had tag
ged him, and was, therefore, entitled to
remain unmolested at that base. The ap-
plause which greeted this decision was
tremendous, and the assembled crowd did
not procrastinate in justly or unjustly
showing its proper appreciation of the
decision rendered. We note particular
ly that it rose en- masse. and cheered ar
IDENTIFY for period of three minutes, after
this excessive demonstration the game
proceeded. The next batter was gaunt
and voracious looking specimen who ap-
peared extremely nervous. He assumed
his proper position at the plate, busted it
off with his cap and watchfully waited.
AT last he smote at the spheroid with
tremendous force; notwithstanding his
strenuous effort in having his bludgeon
come in contact with the ball, in conse-
quence of which after three futile at
tempts he was forthwith informed that
his efforts were entirely Intellectual. The
gentleman with the Norfolk Suit with the
Indicator in his hand ruthlessly declared
| this.
By reason of there being three gentle
men duly and properly retired and more
over, in view of the fact that the plays
we're executed according to Spaulding,
the first half of the first inning terminated
with nought for the aggregation repre-
senting the home contingent.
At this juncture of tie festivities an
auburn haired, freckled faced youngster
vociferously announced in my ear: Seat
cushions-sc-or-e card the name and
poshlums of each and every player. Can't
tell the plays without en-"
l have long received with amiability,
| hoDo tho nrofossions of oil sorta an0