The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1915-10-24

I hear since Columbus landed in America
| By tunderi by tunderi Hans, didn'
belief you hat some fun In you, belle
yhas wrong. You shall hat all my worl
to comes here. overtakins' undertsk
Il ingi ha, kai ha.."
Der second man vhas a very solemn
looking man: don't belief he hat
/ grin on his face in two years. Indeed:
found out later dot street car run oafei
feel funny since dot time. He comes In
fore he says:
Hans. l don't see some cof1ins aroups
here"
No; ! don't keep EN-" says l.
My dear sir. haven't you undertaking
many things in your life?''
| of course"
''Vhell, den you vhas some undertaken.
For three minutes dot man looked at
der floor und don't say some words. Den
l sees a smile creep into his face und
hear him cackle in his throat like an
old hen. Suddenly he goes: ha, ha. ha'
as loud as she can shout und ii takes
him two minutes before he can pat me
on der shoulder und say:
Hans. I don't laugh for two years.
Und / think I shah nefrer laugh again.
but dis gets my goat Keep still und
don't talk to me Will laugh all
vhant to-"
He sits down on a chair und bends
back und forth and slaps his leg und
slaps his foot. und ] think meppe he
goes in a fit But he vhas all right
after a time und he says:
up sooch sign as dot shall be President
OF der United States before he dies.
Why don't somepody discover long ago
ings? Go ahead init my shoes. l bet you
hiring YOU one dollars worth of work
all der time"
Der third person to come in vhas a
s ~GIaSnS but e she has always carried her
work TO some daEo cobbler hve blocks
down der street To my great surprise.
she now comes in my shop nit three
how to fix them oop. she whispers:
"Cobbler. my husband SAYS to come
here und see you vhas dead
''Nopody vhas dead dot l heard of.
Don't you hat some dead persons in
der back ROOM"
mo. / live in der back room"
But your sign says you Vhas an I'M
Excuse me, ma'am: my sign reads:
Undertaking. which was way diner
ent thing. Do you undertake to 80 to
"Of course-about twenty times eafery
Den you vhas an undertaken. don't
YOU see. II you get nome yOu Nhos
an undertaking. Think OF
II, my dear womans, und see II chas
not right. She goes out to take a
walk und think 1t oven und she
comes back in hat an hour NIT .,
broad grin on her face und says!
"Cobbler, you vhas all right-aiI
right Ny husband und eaferoody
meet says dot vhas her funniest thing
dot any funny man gets off in hfty
Well. dot vhas der way of 1t for
two whole weeks. und l take in fifty
dollars worth of cobbling. Dot is. !
undertake to overtake dot much OF
work und il vhas grand scocess
Dot leetle German tailor says my
head vhas full of sawdust, und dot
don't understand der peoples of Amer
ica- but l guess l don't go to der poor
house dis year Shust now / vhas
underta king to overtake an odder
funny idea und il some peoples Will
call in and help me, shall be moocn
obliged.
Only one man in dot two weeks gets
mad about dot sign. He says you
can't overtake some undertaking, una \
he calls me a jackass. but he him.
self proved dot I vhas right He leaves
nv shop to undertake to catch
street car He overtakes der car, but,
in Getting on he falls off und breaks
MS nose l vhas some happy cobbler.
learn at last how dey do things in
American und my wife goes down
town today to buy two dollar cor
set"