Connecticut western news., 1915-06-10
The Wurra Wurpa Club

Curfew had tolled the knell of part ing day, and the members Had us- sembled promptly on time. The presi- dent, Messrs. Joe Parsons, called the meeting to order by tapping his baton against the stovepipe. and ordered the secretary, Messrs. H. Biginjun Ives, to read the moments of the previous gath ering. MT. Ives obliged and then sat down. The Opening Ode was sung to ] the tune the old COW died on, in allegro del Monico, by Chaplain l.. c. Gillette, accompanied by Mike Foley on his steam shovel. There was no encore. The chair theu ordered the decks cleared for action and called for business.
 George Hardenbergh got up and moved that the names of Messrs. Carl Stoeckel, R. P. Paine, George w. Chad wick, Herbert Witherspnon, Paul Alt house and Arthur Mees be placed on 1 the honorary list of the Club. Frank | Hitchcock offered an amendment, that the names of Will O'Connor and Win. Cone be added, Lut before the amend. .ment could be acted upon, George hAaAlitl IhllPth hp ah1l IlOW many times do we have to put these names OH the honorary list, before they'll stick? To my certain know ledge we have elected Mir Stoeckel and MT. Paine four times, and I can prove it by the secretary's records. " The records proved the assertion was COT. rect: but as h matter of harmony, the motion, with its amendment, was passed.
 The fat member hoisted himself up to his full width, and remarked: "Mr. Pres'delt I'd be in fav'r of electin' tn hull ortchestry am tn hull chorus yes, an b'gosh, tn aujience too, if they's room enough on tn honory list. That's how tn music made me feel An I only went two nights-my wife couldn't git no extry ticket fir me tn fust night. Ye see, my wife said, see- in as how she had t' set with tn crowd when our Canaan chorus sung, she didn't mind havin' me set with her. That's how come t go. She sung in tn rehearsals all winter, an when they lotteried off tn places fir tn voices in tn choir, she found she'd drawed a seat in th' aujience. Tn fust show seen was that 'Damnation Frost cantata. An say! never got so near t hell in my life, an I hope I won't never git no closeter. I can smell tn brimstun yet Th plot O 'Damnation Frost is cal lated t. show what q risk feller runs when he signs another mans note. MT. Frost like ,,um fool signed note fir feller by tn name O MT. Mephistopheles Chats spanish fir tn dewil.) who was rep'sented by Witherspoon, an then his troubles be. gins t commence. Frost seems t be decent sort O chap, but he gifts struck on a gal named Margaret somebody, an his crooked friend Witherstopheles shows him how to git solid with her. It's honey-pie, fir little while, but bimeby Margaret's Ma gifts wise, an' Margaret gives the old woman a over dose O rough on rats t keep her fnonp noticin' things. Tn old lady kicks tn bucket am Margaret gifts pinchsd an' sent t hell. Natch'ly that puts young Frost in tn dumps, but Mephistpphe- spoon sez: Never mind, Frosty, old stockim' come along with me an we'll
 
 back hell. bent, through fire am brim- stun, an 'th' upshot is, Frost gifts dumped int tn burnin' bottomless pit, where tn higher he gifts t. tn bottom, tn flu u'ther he is from tn top. Old Devilspoon had worked tn double cross on him, don't ye see? Tn ortchestry told tn hull story on tn fiddles an horns an b-fiats am things. An l want t tell ye, music is a mighty wicked thing when ye git it crazy an Tiled up. Music hain't always lullaby angel-food, not by iumsite. There was Paine lashin' hisself into a reg lar fit O delirious trimmins, shakin' his fists am waggin' his head till his coat tails Tapped like shirt on a clo' 'es- line ill hurricane, an buIldozin' them seventy-five musiciangeTs, durin' that hossback ride t. hell, till they was pro- jucin' music that ripped an swore an blasphemed an shrieked an howled an lit'rally raised hell gen rally. They was times when I'd swore ev'ry dummed fiddler struck fire with ev'ry scratch of his fiddlestick. It was awful. They let loose a million dozen thousand devils, an 'imps, an hob- goblins with purple tails, an green. eyed sea sarpints, am ring tailed mon- keys, am yellow .bell:ed snakes, an blue Holsters, an bedevilled crabs, till tn air was full of lem. An all this time, there was Witherspoon, s'posed t be draggin' poor Frost down t' perdi- tion, am smilin' with a smirk that git on VT nerves am make ye feel like ye'd like t slug him with brick. I could see tn horns sproutin' out on him, an tn cloves on his hoofs. I whispered t' my wife, I hate that fellerr But she give me a dig in tn ribs with her sharp